a quarterly journal from the hongkong federation of youth groups
September 2017
Volume 9 Number 3
Youth HONG KONG
Parenting Today
Contents
OVERVIEW Parenting in Hong Kong 4
September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Volume 9 Number 3
INTERVIEWS Walking a tightrope 8 11 Paradoxes and pleasures 14 Avoiding labels
by Erwyn van der Meer flic.kr/p/6My8pB
YOUTH SPEAK 16 What do youth think? SERVICES 18 Parent Support Network
4-7
8-17
OVERVIEW
INTERVIEWS YOUTH SPEAK
PERSPECTIVES 22 Dismissed as a parent 24 Everyone’s different 26 Being a single parent
18-27
YOUTH WATCH 28 Families around the world
SERVICES PERSPECTIVES
FEATURES 32 Living heritage Janice Ho Board games Ada Chau 34 36 Sleep = brain food Stephanie Hung 38 Careers in shipping Dai Wai-si HKFYG 41 PH3 Youth IDEAS Survey 42 44 New books 46 Living Life Academy 50 Sports Mileage
28-31 YOUTH WATCH
32-40
41-51
FEATURES
HKFYG
Cover image by by Harry Yeung Tim Ming Flic.kr/p/KRywhw
YOUTH HONG KONG published quarterly by The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups EDITORIAL BOARD Andy Ho (Chair) Elaine Morgan (Editor) Ada Chau (Assistant Editor) William Chung Lakshmi Jacotă Angela Ngai Hon Advisers Henry Poon Veronica Pearson CIRCULATION (unaudited) 11,000-12,000 in Hong Kong, throughout the region and overseas VIEWS EXPRESSED are the authors’ and interviewees, may come from official sources, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editorial board or publisher
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REPRODUCTION OF CONTENTS without written permission from the publisher is prohibited OVERVIEW Elaine Morgan INTERVIEWS Elaine Morgan & Ada Chau OTHER CONTRIBUTORS Lakshmi Jacotă Virginia Addison Janice Ho Ada Chau Stephen Davies (Dai Wai-si) Stephanie Hung HKFYG Youth Research Centre TRANSLATION Ada Chau & Angela Ngai PHOTOGRAPHS Acknowledged as captioned, stock images, public domain, courtesy of Prof HS Ching or by Elaine Morgan
TRADEMARKS All brand names and product names are registered trademarks. Youth Hong Kong is not associated with any product or vendor mentioned in articles. ARTWORK, DESIGN, LAYOUT & PRINTING DG3 ISSN 2071-3193 (Print) ISSN 2519-1098 (Online) WEB youthhongkong.hkfyg.org.hk CORRESPONDENCE to The Editor, Youth Hong Kong, 21/F, The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups Building, 21 Pak Fuk Road, North Point, Hong Kong TEL 3755 7084, 3755 7108 FAX 3755 7155 EMAIL youthhongkong@hkfyg.org.hk
ADVERTISING enquiries to Ada Chau 3755 7108 The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups was founded in 1960 and is the city’s largest non-profit youth organization. Its programmes and activities at over 60 locations have annual attendance of 5 million. CORE SERVICES Youth SPOTs, M21 Multimedia Services, Employment Services, Youth at Risk Services, Counselling Services, Parenting Services, Leadership Training, Volunteer Services, Education Services, Creativity Education and Youth Exchange, Leisure, Cultural and Sports Services, Research and Publications WEB hkfyg.org.hk m21.hk
Editorial September 2017　|　Youth Hong Kong
No one would deny that parenting is a challenge that comes with its own rewards. Whatever one’s experience, it is something that can be learnt, but it requires a support system of family, friends and community. These ideas are neither new nor unique to Hong Kong. They have, however, assumed greater importance and relevance as lives get busier, more stressful and with higher expectations. This issue of Youth Hong Kong looks at parents from various angles, through interviews, opinions, discussions and very personal sharing of diverse experiences. There are even sons and daughters commenting on their parents! We focus too on the support mechanisms that can help parents and their children achieve a harmonious family environment. Because in the end, that is what we all strive for. Do share your own experiences and stories of parenting with us. Andy Ho Wing-cheong Executive Director, HKFYG September 2017 3
Overview September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Parenting in Hong Kong P
arents everywhere share similar pressures and rewards but certain factors make Hong Kong exceptional. These include the dedicated way in which parents here strive to give their children a good education, the level of competitiveness in the city, its long working hours, the availability of live-in helpers and the phenomenon of cross-border schooling. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. No matter how well prepared and no matter how well-read one is, when confronted by a real child in a real situation, parenting requires decisions, actions and behaviour that can surprise, challenge, defuse or ignite. This is true of parenting in general but Hong Kong has its own distinctive flavours and phenomena. These include the effects of demographics, high levels of competitiveness, long working hours and heavy reliance on live-in domestic help.
Not so many children Hong Kong’s fertility rate of 1.19 children born per woman is one of the lowest in the world.1 It has been dropping for the past 33 years. Any fertility rate below 2 indicates not only that the population is getting smaller but that it is also growing older.2 The crude birth rate is also falling and is now less than half what it was in 1981.
4
Significant factors related to these demographics are the average age of marriage and the age at which women have their first child. 29.4 is the age at which people marry and according to the Hong Kong Family Planning Association (FPA), the median age to have a first child is 31.4. For older women, the rate drops off rapidly. Reasons given for postponing marriage in Hong Kong are usually extended periods in education and the unaffordability of housing, especially for newly-weds. There are economic reasons as well that help to account for small family size in Hong Kong, a city where one-child families outnumbered two-child families in 2013.3 Over 1,500 married or cohabiting 15-49 year-old Hong Kong women were surveyed recently by the FPA. 37.5% had one child and 32% had two, but 39% said they had fewer children than they wanted. Most wanted two, and when asked what stopped them, 29.7% said it was economic pressure. 40-50% said they would be encouraged if there were more government subsidies to support them.4
Hong Kong is well known for an incredibly fast pace and a pressure-cooker environment. The level of competition mounts from the earliest stage of child-rearing. It becomes brutally apparent as parents fight to get places for children in the “right” play schools or nurseries. According to a Chinese University study last year, one in three adults believe children should be trained to “win at the starting line.” Almost half of the parents polled also enrolled their children in at least two after-school tutorial classes or music classes when they were at kindergarten or primary school.5 An extra strain comes from the dramatic rise in children of mainland parents competing for places at schools here. As of 2016, they numbered about 30,000. The figure is expected to rise until 2018 and remain a problem till 20306
definition of what is successful in Hong Kong … lawyers and financial managers ... those kinds of jobs. Given [that] a large proportion of Hong Kong students do not end up at a university, it is understandable that they will feel like failures …”9 Professor Eva Chen, a cognitive social development specialist at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology [HKUST] who works with kindergarten and primary school children in Hong Kong, Taiwan and America, says the competitiveness of Hong Kong education system, from kindergarten to university, is damaging. “This early talk of failure, if a child doesn’t get into a particular school, is very concerning [sic]. Children are very sensitive in their early years. They will pay attention to what the parents and teachers are saying.”
The level of pressure only gets worse as children moves up the education ladder. About two-thirds of Hong Kong’s children have a state-funded education. Nevertheless, 88% of their parents pay for extra private tuition. Hong Kong parents spend far more than the worldwide average on their children’s education – approximately HK$1 million over the course of a child’s schooling, according to a survey of more than 8,400 parents in 15 cities and countries. The global average is HK$350,000. These figures include school or university tuition fees, educational books, transport and accommodation and this is just a conservative estimate.7 Other cost calculators come up with a figure that is far higher.8
The government has confirmed that one outcome is the increasing number of children with mental health problems. According to the Hospital Authority,10 the overall number of mental health patients is increasing by 2%-4% every year, from about 187,000 in 2011-12 to more than 226,000 in 2015-16. Experts are not surprised, especially given the pressure of an intense, examinationsbased education system and high family expectations.
Why do parents engage in such competitiveness, especially in relation to education? According to Dr Lam Chunbun of the Department of Early Childhood Education at the Education University, there is, “a very narrow
Do Young people Want To Be Parents?
Among all 18-27 year-olds in 2006, 71% said they wanted children but the number dropped to 57% of young women and 54% of young men by 2016. 28% of women and 35% of men were not sure. 14% of women and 10% of men definitely did not want to be parents.
by ¡kuba! flic.kr/p/o4HAy3
by redpolkadot flic.kr/p/e5sdQ
Competitiveness and expectations
Read more • famplan.org.hk/fpahk/en/press/press/2016YSS_
Eng_2017_7_27%20(final).pdf
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Overview September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
What brings on the academic pressure? According to a poll of 1,300 parents of kindergarten and primary students, almost two-thirds say that pressure to perform well academically is the most common source of stress among children. Parents also become increasingly stressed about a child’s academic performance as they transition from kindergarten to primary school, and about 70% say they have emotional problems as a result of childcare pressures. Half admitted their own high expectations also caused significant stress. At secondary level, pressure caused by the Diploma of Secondary Education exam (DSE), studying in general and worries about future prospects trouble students most. Worryingly, 31.5% blame parents for this pressure, although 40% admit to high self-expectations. 40% of students said they felt parental pressure to do well in the DSE and nearly 60% wished their parents would give them more mental space during the examination period. Read more • scmp.com/print/news/hong-kong/health-environment/ article/1853967/depression-hits-just-over-half-hong-kongsecondary • s c m p . c o m / n e w s / h o n g - k o n g / e d u c a t i o n - c o m m u n i t y / article/2084161/stress-levels-hong-kong-dse-takers-reach-three
Long working hours Another reality of parenting in Hong Kong is increasingly long working hours. There is no law in Hong Kong governing standard working hours. Last year the Institute of Family Education found that almost half of parents with primary school children spent less than seven hours a week on family time and 19% planned to set aside less than three hours a week with their children.11 Another survey, from the Chinese University, found that 20% of Hong Kong parents chat with their children less than once a week.12 A similar survey by Morgan McKinley in 201613 found that of the 73% of the respondents who work between 41 and 60 hours weekly, 89% would like more quality time with their family but work stopped them. Furthermore, when asked a few questions about their children’s personal preferences, only 20% were able to answer correctly. Professor Chen of HKUST also advises paying attention to the quality of time spent together, not just the quantity. “It could simply be reading a book together, having dinner, talking or giving your child a bath … rather than just the parent writing work emails while the child does his or her homework.”14
Working mothers: no time to spare?
89% 60% 45% 36% 25% 24% 17%
say it’s mainly work that prevents them from spending time with their children work over 44 hours per week
find balancing work and family stressful say they feel exhausted after work and do little to contribute to family life feel guilty about the amount of time spent at work and not with family want to spend more time with family but fear impact on promotion prospects have less than an hour each day with their families
Source familycouncil.gov.hk/english/files/research/Family_Survey_2015_Final_Report.pdf
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Dependency on helpers
Support and understanding
Given these long working hours, it is no surprise that Hong Kong families rely heavily on live-in domestic help. Over the last 20 years, the number has almost doubled, from 180,000 in 1998 to 340,380 in 2015. While no one doubts the benefit of help with the housework, especially for working parents, there is growing concern that some domestic helpers assume the role of surrogate parents. Not only do they chaperone children to school and extra-curricular activities, cook for and clean up after them, they also offer care and comfort that results in strong emotional bonds.
The challenges facing parents in Hong Kong are not insurmountable, but it is not uncommon for parents to feel far less than perfect and sometimes to feel isolated with their anxieties. While families and friends can offer support, outside assistance is also available in Hong Kong. The government, non-profit organisations and even commercial enterprises offer parent education classes, counselling and support groups.
Professor Paul Yip of the University of Hong Kong warns against such heavy reliance on domestic helpers who substitute for absent parents. It can mean that not only are some children unable to manage even the most basic everyday tasks but, furthermore, with “24-hour backup services available, working parents can overlook their parental responsibilities.” 15 Dr Miho Goda, a researcher at the Chinese University, points that “many children feel closer to their domestic helpers than their own parents.”16 She notes, however, that some parents do not consider this to be a problem. In fact, they go out of their way to hire domestic helpers who not only do the household chores, but are also well enough educated to tutor the children and help them with their homework.
Sometimes, all it takes to tackle the realities of parenting with confidence is a set of skills that can be learnt while building resilience and gaining experience. These can go a long way towards easing concerns and burdens and when coupled with mutual support networks which offer the chance of finding like-minded companions, the joys and achievements of raising a child can be shared. 全球不少父母都面對教養子女的問題。香港社會發展急速、競爭 激烈、工時長、生活壓力大，這些獨特因素令新世代對生兒育女 感到卻步。香港的出生率只有 1.19，差不多屬全球最低。數據顯 示，本港選擇只生一胎的夫婦佔多，其中經濟負擔是主要考慮因 素；他們亦希望集中心力和資源於一名子女身上。家長們普遍對子 女抱有很高期望；而擁有「贏在起跑線」心態的父母，更比比皆 是。香港許多孩子自少便要學習多種興趣，令他們承受巨大壓力， 身心發展亦受影響。另外，香港居住面積普遍細小，雙職父母往 往需要倚賴外傭協助家務及照顧孩子。為此，政府與志願機構等， 均積極為家長提供各式各樣支援及服務。今期我們就教育下一代 的議題，進行深入探討，希望進一步了解身為父母的心聲及難處， 並盼望香港未來一代能活得更快樂、發展更健康。
Sources 1. CIA World Factbook 9 July 2017 2. statistics.gov.hk/pub/B71512FB2015XXXXB0100.pdf 3. censtatd.gov.hk/press_release/pressReleaseDetail.jsp?charsetID=1&pressRID=3351 4. famplan.org.hk/fpahk/en/press/press/KAP12pressEng%20(final).htm 5. Blundy, R op cit scmp.com/print/news/hong-kong/education-community/article/2089605/all-work-and-no-play-why-more-hong-kong-children 6. gia.info.gov.hk/general/201606/22/P201606220581_0581_169236.pdf 7. yp.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/106851/hong-kong-parents-under-pressure-spend-more-their-children%E2%80%99s-education 8. bauhinia.org/index.php/english/resources/child_cal 9. scmp.com/news/hong-kong/health-environment/article/2103663/are-you-monster-parent-experts-say-trend-worsening 10. Blundy, R. op. cit. 11. news.rthk.hk/rthk/en/component/k2/1262299-20160525.htm?spTabChangeable=0 http://www.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/education-community/article/1988995/all-work-and-no-play-hong-kong-kids-miss-out 12. Blundy, R op cit 13. morganmckinley.com.hk/article/working-parents-survey-2016 14. Blundy, R op cit 15. scmp.com/comment/insight-opinion/article/1419267/hong-kong-must-address-social-costs-hiring-domestic-helpers 16. childresearch.net/papers/parenting/2013_01.html
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Interviews September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
balancing work and family life
Walking a tightrope Work
Fam il y
T
hese three parents discovered different solutions to the question of juggling timetables. Their answers lie in part-time work, ignoring mobile phones and using an extended network of helpers.
Joey: mother of two baby girls Being a full-time parent and a full-time worker is virtually impossible. Self-insight and an understanding employer may mean that going part-time is the answer.
I once read that working parents feel that they ought to do their jobs as if they had no children while bringing up their children as if they didn’t have a job. Impossible! So forgive yourself if you fail and feel guilty. You’re not alone and there’s an alternative. So when I got back to work, I told my supervisor that I wanted to go part-time in the office and do some work from home. She sympathized and because of the nature of my job she suggested a job-share arrangement as an experiment. We have a full-time helper but I don’t want my children to grow up bonding only with her. It would make me very jealous, so part-time work is the solution.
that you can concentrate on home, the children and the rest of your life. Otherwise, you have to be very disciplined or you will find that your workload has not dropped at all even if you do share your salary. I manage because my partner often has to work late and there is time when the babies are asleep and it is quiet at home. That’s when I do the work that doesn’t have to be finished at my office desk. Our Hong Kong family-size flat in Tseung Kwan O is just 650 square feet but one little corner is home to my computer and I can tuck myself away there.
Forgive yourself if you fail and feel guilty. You’re not alone.
For me, this has worked well but you need to be careful. Going part-time should ideally mean leaving all your work behind when you leave the office so
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Given our little flat, I wonder how long it can last. As the children grow up it will be harder, but if you really want to keep working you will find an answer to the problems. My motto is work to live, don’t live to work.
Ferny, father of a teenager Most parents want more time. This father says that it means giving up his mobile phone and forgetting work while he concentrates on quality family time.
Have you always wished for more hours in the day? Once you become a working parent, forget it! The more you wish for time, the greater stress you’ll feel for the lack of it.
The more you wish for time, the more stressed you will feel. My answer was to give something up. Many parents like me think they didn’t spend enough time with their children when they were young. It brings an acute sense of regret. Children, like our city, constantly change. That time never comes back but although I always tried to earmark quality time for the family, over the years it became harder and harder. Why? Was it calls from the office? Trying to read enough to keep up to date? Being sidetracked by social media? For me, the answer seems to lie in my mobile phone. I used to try so hard to forget it when I was at home but it constantly distracted me. Every time it buzzed I couldn’t help but pick it up. It was like a baby crying. Insistent. I talked it over with my partner and decided that my phone had to be sacrificed. She agreed and we both do the same: as soon as we are both at home, the phones are switched to silent and go into the bottom of a drawer. To begin with, the reaction at work bothered me. Some colleagues even sent panicky messages asking if I was ill! I told them not to try to reach me unless it was a matter of life and death. That worked. Now, when relatives and close friends want us, they always send a message first. To begin with, we missed the constant stimulus of our mobile phones but if you give them up together there is reinforcement. Not only do we actually talk to each other more, we are convinced that it is better for our son’s health and wellbeing. A double-plus good.
Sandy, mother of a ten-year-old girl If you can afford it, expand your support group to include your extended family, friends and helpers. Then everyone gets the best of both worlds.
“My partner and I admit it. We are workaholics. For us, careers and being with colleagues give us a sense of fulfillment that family life alone cannot provide. But of course we want to give our daughter the kind of care she deserves as well. How is that possible? The first answer is earnings. We can afford a very dependable live-in helper. Second, our daughter’s school in Tai Po offers after-school services and the helper combines dropping her off for school, extra-curricular tutorials, dancing lessons and tennis with picking her up and with running errands. Those logistics would be beyond us! Third, my parents live in nearby Lam Tsuen and they have always loved being baby-sitters. While we really appreciate that, we don’t want them ever to feel taken for granted so we structure our time together to make sure that everyone has freedom and flexibility.
We think that having fulfilling working lives makes us better parents. The combination of the right helper, reliable school services and grandparents has become our lifeline. It means we have fulfilled working lives and that makes us better, more rounded parents. We don’t try to do everything together, even during family time. We are all different, we need a social life as well as work, and there is too much to fit in. We try to be rational and philosophical but there’s no doubt that on those rare occasions that we have a successful outing as a complete family, it is a great feeling. Note Names have been changed to protect privacy.
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Interviews September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Juggling work and family life Dual- earner Hong Kong Parents...
25%
25%
24%
find it difficult to strike a balance between work and family priorities
18%
feel guilty about the amount of time spent at work and not with my family want to spend more time with my family but fear negative impact on promotion
45%
find balancing work and family stressful
35%
say poor work-life balance means they are often tired
20%
do not have private time to enjoy leisure activities or sports
have too little time to get together with partner and family
44%
have encountered no problems with poor work-life balance
58%
say reducing hours at work is simply not an option say pressure at work sometimes means they have no energy left to enjoy being at home
43%
say they often feel so exhausted after work they do little to contribute to family life
36%
say balancing work with family causes a great deal of stress
5%
Does your mobile phone dominate your life? It feels as if technology is taking over at home
63%
Family members don’t listen because their eyes are fixed to a screen
77%
Source familycouncil.gov.hk/english/files/research/Family_Survey_2015_Final_Report.pdf
What do parents find most rewarding? Childcare
62%
Leisure
59%
Housework Paid work
What activities are most exhausting?
43% 36%
12% 5% 7%
Technology is having a negative impact on family life
68%
Source bbc.com/news/education-39666863
5%
Source entrepreneur.com/article/244230
More information • pewsocialtrends.org/2015/11/04/raising-kids-and-running-ahousehold-how-working-parents-share-the-load/ • forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/01/20/the-five-things-successful-workingparents-give-up-to-reach-a-work-life-balance/2/#6346c88c564a • pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2013/08/19/mothers-and-work-whats-ideal/ • dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3550241/Do-spend-time-phone-familyParents-children-exchange-5-800-texts-260-emails-year.html#ixzz4pF9V6L00
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香港生活節奏急速，要同時照顧工作和家庭並不容易。我們訪問了三位父母， 看看他們如何取得生活平衡。Joey 有兩位女兒，她認為根本沒可能要求自己 既成為全職員工，又當全職母親；她因此選擇成為半職僱員。Ferny 的兒子已 十多歲，他表示若要擠出更多時間予家庭，代表須放棄一些事情；而他與太 太選擇留在家中的時候，完全將手提電話放在一旁，專注於家庭生活。剛開 始時，家人、朋友，甚至同事都不習慣，但現在大家都已適應這種生活，並 能好好享受跟家人相處的時光。Sandy 坦言自己跟伴侶都是工作狂，故此會 盡量動員身邊家人、朋友，一起照顧 10 歲的女兒。但 Sandy 會小心安排， 希望每位照顧者都有自己的私人時間，且不會感到過大壓力。
Interviews September 2017　|　Youth Hong Kong
Paradoxes and pleasures P
by Thibaud Saintin flic.kr/p/kdaTjf
arents talk about values, expectations, division of labour and generational differences. The doubts and regrets of some of them contrast with a sense of fulfillment and a job well done in others.
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Interviews
by SIM Central and South East Asia flic.kr/p/kdaTjf
September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Pat
Diana
Joan
Ming
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I remember when each of my two children were born. The only thought in my head was, “Is he healthy? Is he crying?” Then, as they started to grow up, we found ourselves following the trend, pushing them to achieve and fit in. Where once we were only concerned with health and happiness, suddenly it seemed easy to shift the emphasis. Our questions changed to, “Is he smart enough? Does he look good enough and study hard enough?” Now what we wanted was for them to go to the best schools and win more prizes … gradually we had forgotten to ask whether they were happy and healthy any more. Parenting in Hong Kong is not easy, especially since everyone around you tells you what you need to do, what extra classes you should sign up for, which “famous” schools you need to apply for right now. All that, so soon, and my daughter is only four! Probably the hardest part of parenting is teaching children values. I learnt from my parents’ example. Nowadays, children are more mature and seem less able to learn by observation. Maybe they don’t have enough time, so I talk about values more and try to teach them from my own experience but I am not sure it works very well. I sometimes regret having had kids so early. It’s nothing to do with the children themselves. I think that because we got married and started a family in our early 20s I missed out on some adventures. I get impatient and irritated far too quickly. I sometimes look at my brother who chose not to have any children. In some ways I think he is happier than me.
Linn
I am married to a Hongkonger and have a daughter who was born here and goes to school here. But home for us is Shenzhen and I work part-time there. It takes hours for students to cross the border each day and get to school on time so we decided that she should stay here in Hong Kong throughout the school week. Either I or a relative take care of her, but at weekends we go back to Shenzhen and she does extra English lessons, ice-skating and swimming there. I am always exhausted and wonder if I am even a parent or just provider. My own mother was not like this.
Chris
My children prefer to be left alone when they come home. As they are not failing in school and are not in any trouble, I tend to stay out of the way, although sometimes I do worry about them. Maybe they are just at an age when parents and children don’t get on. In our house, it is either silence or shouting. No in between.
Lisa
I’m from Hong Kong but I studied abroad and I’m envious of how my university friends there now seem to bring up their children. They seem so relaxed and happy but I just feel stressed and anxious all the time. Maybe it’s because Hong Kong is just a more competitive society and we have greater expectations of our children.
Margaret
There’s a big difference between the way I was brought up and how I raise my own children. My parents both worked so my grandparents looked after me. I was very close to them but not so much to my parents. I do not want that to happen with my own children, so even though my husband and I both have to work, I make sure that every evening and weekend, I am fully available for them.
CK
Julian
Karen
Anny
Amanda
We have a live-in helper who, apart from housework and cooking, also helps take care of the children who are five and two. Even in a small flat like ours we respect her privacy and treat her like one of the family. She is very good and very patient, but I am sure she can never be a substitute for us. Even though the children rely on her too much, we are still their parents. What I know from my own childhood is that education is the most important thing a parent can give a child. I expect my children to do well and if that means having to take after school-lessons, then so be it. My wife thinks I am too harsh, but this is a tough world and the children need to have a good educational foundation to be competitive. My children are becoming independent now and I find it very rewarding to watch them handling their own difficulties with confidence. But it makes me happy that they know they can count on me for help when they need it. This makes me think I did a good job of parenting. Nowadays, most of the childcare in my home is done by my parents while I am at work. I also have a helper who does the housework. I’m a single parent and I find that the hardest part is staying calm and friendly when dealing with conflicting emotions. This is especially so because my mother is quite domineering and she is not shy about criticizing my own parenting skills. I am sometimes labelled a “pushy” parent, but who else really cares about the way one’s children grow up? So it is my job to make sure that they excel and have every opportunity to succeed. Pushing them hard will only benefit them in the long run.
My parents are very good role models. When we were young, my brother and I were always expected to behave well and look after ourselves although we had a Jay helper at home. Mum and Dad spent a lot of time with us. They were very consistent about standards and principles and I hope I am the same with my own children.
Jenny
Robin
Laura
Andrew
I cannot remember my parents ever being so involved in my life but if I find that unless I know about everything that is going on in my son’s life, I’m always doubtful about him. He’s shy and perhaps he won’t work hard unless I push him. All I want for my children is for them to be good and kind. Only parents can teach them this. Although we try to give them all the best opportunities, it’s not only the learning they do at school that counts. They need to learn about life as well. I find parenting very difficult. The children seem much cleverer and much more confident than I ever was. I just make sure that they have the essentials in life. That’s how we avoid conflicts but I don’t think I’m being a really good parent. My children are grown up and I think I have been the typical uninvolved father, to be honest. My wife did all the hard work but I can reap the rewards of children’s success and happiness. It doesn’t sound very fair but many fathers I know are like me.
教養下一代往往涉及很多不同家庭背景和處理方法。今期我們邀請 了多位家長參與討論，內容包括他們與配偶之間的分工、跟上一輩 就教養幼兒方法的異同、對孩子的期望等。透過了解數位家長的經 驗與看法，讓讀者能更能理解現今父母的難處與喜樂。
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Interviews September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Reality versus stereotypes M
onster parents, tiger parents and helicopter parents are some of the accepted labels for today’s mothers and fathers. Yet in reality, most parents fit none of these stereotypes neatly, as these examples show. Mrs Xia:
a hands-on, indulgent mother
The media blames us for bringing up spoilt little princes and princesses who are mollycoddled, who don’t even know how to tie their shoelaces or clean their bedrooms. They call them the Kong Kids [ 港孩 ] and they mock us as monster parents [ 怪獸家長 ]. Of course it’s rubbish, but I confess that I do want to be very hands-on with my daughter. Her education, for example, is an investment in her future, and to some extent in ours as her parents. I certainly don’t want her to be at a disadvantage. If she does well enough in her career then it’s also an investment in Hong Kong’s human capital, isn’t it? Anyway, what else are we supposed to do when all the other parents arrange tutorials, music and dancing lessons, extra maths and swimming classes? Are we meant to sit back and say, ‘She’ll find her own way’, even if she fails? At least we always ask her what she wants and if she wants to stay home and watch a video with an ice-cream, that’s fine, isn’t it? We are supposed to allow her some freedom. That’s not monster parenting.
Mrs Yang :
Mr Zhou:
a father and teacher
Some people say that life is a race that we must try to win. I was brought up believing it but I can’t deny − as a father and a teacher− that the pressure to be competitive and succeed is too strong. My own parents are originally mainlanders and I was born in Hong Kong thirty years ago − their only son. I was quite cossetted as a child I think. Now, as a father myself, I understand why they wanted to protect me, overprotect me perhaps. In me they saw not only their hopes and dreams but their future breadwinner. But as a teacher I’m surrounded by examples of overprotective over-parenting. One mother constantly hassles us over her daughter’s poor grades. Another consistently denies her son’s bad reports. A third regularly comes to the school to see the principal and makes excuses for her boy’s absences. He’s sick, she says. Actually, we know where he is, hanging out with his chums who left school last year. Yes, some of those parents deserve the name monster parents. They should let teachers get on with their job of teaching academic subjects while they teach them at home how to be good human beings.
a mother who likes involvement
Our son is at school in Britain. And yes, I went with him to make sure he settled in properly and if he ever says he needs help I will go straight away to see what I can do. They call me a helicopter parent not a monster parent and I suppose I do tend to hover around a bit anxiously. I always expected him to keep in close touch and I’m certainly not going to stop when he is not in Hong Kong. That doesn’t make sense. It’s what mobile phones are for, even if they do call them the world’s longest umbilical cord! In a few years’ time, if he doesn’t get into university in Hong Kong we will send him back to Britain. We already have the money in the bank. British universities let parents manage their children’s university applications. I certainly won’t let him fail if I can possibly avoid it. Would you?
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Note Names have been changed to protect anonymity
Clichés and labels Tiger mother
Dolphin dads
Amy Chua, author of the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, recommends the following strategy, “I believe we should assume strength rather than weakness in our children – it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy either way. Nothing is fun until you’re good at it, and left to their own devices children will always want to give up or take the easy way out.” Amy’s daughter Sophia, 23, agrees. “My Tiger Mum taught me to strive for excellence, to have a thick skin and to take ownership over everything I do.”
Next, consider dolphin parenting, says Shawn Achor, a happiness researcher at Wharton Business School and author of Happiness Advantage. Why dolphins? They're playful, social and intelligent, and thereby represent the attributes of successful parenting, he says, claiming that the best outcome hinges on the ability to see multiple, realistic opportunities and navigate among them, whether it comes to career trajectories or your child's SAT score.
Elephant parents
Tiger tamers
In India, we find elephant parents, a name that media entrepreneur and mother Priyanka Sharma-Sindhar describes the kind of parent who does the opposite of ultra-strict, disciplinarian, tiger mothers. They believe that children need protection and encouragement, especially when they’re still impressionable and very young. She says, “… even though it’s the tiger mom who makes the bestseller list, and everyone’s petrified of looking too soft, maybe everyone around me is a little softer than they think they need to be. I’ve realized that the best parent you can be is the one that you want to be; and there is no perfect parent, just as there is no perfect kid.”
Tanith Carey, author of Taming the Tiger Parent, responds to Chua with a warning. “Many of the generation [now] attending university are the babies who, almost from birth, were ferried between Mini Mozart and Mandarin classes in cars plastered with Baby on Board bumper stickers. As soon as we see other parents shoving their kids forward, we feel compelled to do the same … Tiger parenting is producing the most anxious generation ever. Children from secure family units are so stressed they are suffering low mood and anxiety disorders.”
Classic styles of parenting If you like the idea of categorizing different types of parent, you may prefer to use the styles adopted by academics such as Diana Baumrind, as shown below.
In Singapore, the Lion City, the answer to a tiger mother is a loving lion. The term was coined by researchers at the city’s Institute of Policy Studies (IPS). Lead researcher, Mathew Mathews, says, “Loving lions want everything for their children… a happy environment but also good results.” However, his survey also found that parents in the “loving lions” group were the most involved in their children's lives and a large majority said they needed to keep in touch with what the school and teachers were doing for their children, an echo of the overprotective type of parent referred to by Mr Zhou opposite.
by Aikawa Ke flic.kr/p/eca6cM
Loving lions
Sources • telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/11746208/How-to-stop-over-parenting-your-child.html • thesun.co.uk/archives/news/147919/families-join-david-cameron-in-backing-pushy-parenting/ • rightstartmagazine.co.uk/tigerparent.html • straitstimes.com/singapore/education/loving-lion-parents-may-pass-on-their-stress • businessinsider.com/dolphin-dad-debunking-the-tiger-mom-2013-8 • theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/12/elephant-mom-timeof-tigermother/383378/ • en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parenting_styles • oi:10.1136/bmj.320.7245.1347. • Baumrind, D. Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior. Genetic Psychology Monographs, 75(1), 43-88, 1967.
香港家長一般十分重視子女學業成績及未 來發展。他們有時會為子女安排大量興趣 和學習活動，以致換來「虎媽」、「怪獸 家長」、「直升機家長」等稱謂。我們找 來三位家長，談談他們的自身經歷，以及 他們對這些稱謂的意見。而在世界各地， 也有不同學說形容各式各類的父母，例如 「慈愛的獅子」、「海豚父親」、「大象 父母」等，有興趣的讀者可參閱相關資料。
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Youth speak September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
What do young people think? S
tudents at secondary school and university talk about what they really think of their parents. Some are positive and appreciative. Others seem resigned to having pushy parent. Several say too much is expected of them, but many recognize what their parents do for them and want to reciprocate. Tom I think my parents know what’s best for me. They are successful and have lots of experience. They would never think of pushing me in any direction that would not be good for me.
Lily My sisters and I went to school overseas. It must have cost a fortune but Mum and Dad say we deserve the best.
Nancy In my house, parents have very different roles. My mother fusses over studying and health. My father fusses about activities, especially sports. Although I like being with them, perhaps they get too involved in what I do.
Supportive and encouraging, those are the best words to describe my parents.
Ivy Peter My mum says the children come first and sometimes I think my father disagrees but he never questions her.
Francis Mother works hard and is tired when she gets home. She has brought us up to be independent and to try our best on our own, but she will help us if we need it.
Evie
My parents are great role models. They taught me how to believe in myself. I hope I can climb the social ladder like they did. 16
I just have loads of fun with my parents. We like to fool around together.
Simon
David
Imogen
They have high expectations and like many people of my age, I want to please them.
I’ll never forget how my mother helped me even when she was very sick. She died when I was 14. If I could share one moment with her it would be to tell her not to worry about me. She taught me the most important lesson in the world, about love. Dad and I don’t really share much but his actions say it all. We don’t have much money but he always saves the best food for me and won’t ask for government handouts. He says dignity matters more.
Gavin
I tell my parents everything. They say the most important lesson to learn is about compromise and understanding.
Christa
Mum is just like a friend. We hang out together and and tell each other secrets.
Hannah My parents taught me how to analyze a situation, be rational and find solutions rather than getting depressed by all life’s problems. They helped me see the importance of having targets and taking action to reach them.
Laurie
My parents and I have nothing in common but I love them and they love me anyway.
A
nother group is more negative. F eeling resentful or ignored is an experience shared by some of them. One of the boys dares not speak out, for fear of his strict parents’ reaction. Several talk of absent parents and supportive grandparents, but quite a few are classic, complaining teenagers who just want things their own way. Lisa
Parents should try to understand their kids’ feelings instead of always imposing their own expectations. They push me, they want me to do well and they sometimes get overinvolved. Maybe they are just like all the other parents.
John
Mum and Dad are hardly ever home so we hardly ever argue. I see more of the helper than I ever see of them.
Shawn igrSefw,f
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Sally
It’s all about what other people think with my parents. They are not really concerned about my real interests or my results unless they are better than somebody else’s. I'm afraid of my
Terence p a re n t s . T h e y are very strict and all I can concentrate on is not making them upset. They hate me Vanni going to my room and closing the door when I just want some time for myself. It’s not as if I’m doing drugs or anything crazy like that.
My mother and father fight all the time and then take out their frustrations on me.
I hate it when Mum calls my teacher and doesn’t tell me. The teacher then picks on me in class and I have no idea what it’s all about.
Yoyo
I don't know if I want to be a parent. All I ever hear is “sacrifice” “sacrifice” “sacrifice.” They never let me forget it! No one asked them to become parents. Certainly not me!
Jackie
Danny
Actually, I think my grandparents are like my real parents should be. They care for me, love me, feed me and generally are more interested in what I’m doing. They also really talk to me and listen. Parents? They work and they travel a lot and they provide me with a very comfortable, materialistic life.
Aggie Parents? They
always want you to do dull stuff. Homework. Visit relatives. Clean up. Go to school. Now they want me to learn Mandarin. Why Isn’t Cantonese good enough? It’s always nag, nag, nag. Have you done your homework? Did you iron your uniform? Turn off that phone! Who would want to be a parent?
Will
Bella
Dad bought two flats and made them into one so there’s enough room for us all. But now they keep saying we should be more independent! What’s the point? Do we fight? Sure. We argue over everything from clothes to food to friends to getting up late. Isn’t that normal? But I got really angry when she threw out my jeans with the holes in the knees.
Jinny
Heather Mother always
brags about me and expects me to talk to her friends. I die from embarrassment.
關於父母教養子女的討論，不 能忽略聆聽青年的心聲。我們 邀請一群中學及大學生進行訪 問，藉此分享他們跟父母的關 係。 他 們 有 些 跟 父 母 關 係 良 好，相處猶如朋友一般，既能 受到父母啟發和支持，亦期望 自己以父母為榜樣，將來像似 他們。然而，也有部分青年覺 得跟父母有溝通問題，認為父 母沒有真正了解他們的需要和 內心想法。
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HKFYG Services September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
HKFYG Parent Support Network
F
ederation support services for parents include education, mediation, workshops, information and networking. These are mainly districtand web-based. Youthline counselling provides a reciprocal service for young people with family problems. Today’s Hong Kong parents often both work. Unless they have an extended family nearby, many need a live-in helper to manage the logistics of everyday life. Those who seek further support are welcomed by HKFYG. They may have trouble with anything from understanding their children, finding enough time for parenting, finance and logistics, or wanting to build stronger communication and conflict-solving skills. The HKFYG Parent Support Network (PSN) has been designed to fit the needs of today’s parents. It has evolved from the Family Life Education and ParentChild Mediation Centre. The HKFYG Youth SPOTs in all districts also provide many parenting programmes and learning and exchange groups. The PSN supports close connections between the city’s districts via the Youth SPOTs and parents' groups, including Parent Teachers Associations.
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The underlying goal of the PSN is to connect Hong Kong parents via social media and district-based mutual support networks. It also encourages active participation in the update of information on parenting via a dedicated website. These initiatives are intended to help families build a good atmosphere at home and resolve arguments when communication breaks down. If there is unresolvable conflict, free mediation services are available. Such conflict in Hong Kong today often tends to be about learning and studying or about too much time spent with mobile devices. Common causes of conflict are mobile device use, studying patterns and grades, computer games, chores, disrespect, smoking, drugs and drinking, dishonesty, girlfriends and boyfriends, late nights and getting up late, food and eating habits, personal appearance and pets. By focusing on the real issues that underlie conflict, mediation aims to achieve a win-win agreement.
Hong Kong families: 10 fast facts Further reading
• Average household size: two parents and one child
• statistics.gov.hk/pub/ B11303032017AN17B0100.pdf
• Average age of marriage: 29.4 • Median age for women having first child: 31.4 years
• censtatd.gov.hk/press_ release/pressReleaseDetail. jsp?charsetID=1&pressRID=3351
• Single parents of both genders in all age groups: up 19.5% 2001-2016 • One-child families outnumbered 2-child families in 2013
• famplan.org.hk/fpahk/en/press/press/ KAP12pressEng%20(final).htm
• Over 50% of parents say they cannot deal with their children’s emotional problems.
• /en.hkctu.org.hk/hong-kong/researchand-publication/impact-of-longworking-hours-on-mothers-releaseof-survey-result-on-mothers-day
• 38% of parents admit they have problems with their children. • 60% of working mothers work over 44 hours per week. • 17% say they have less than an hour each day with their families
• Hong Kong Institute of Family Education. The Standard, 27 October 2010
• 89% say work is the main reason preventing them from spending time with their children
• morganmckinley.com.hk/article/ working-parents-survey-2016
Three Real-Life Cases Trouble at school
Clash of attitudes
Mary, Ivan’s 16 year-old daughter, receives a formal warning about truancy. She risks being excluded from exams unless her attendance picks up to meet basic Education Bureau requirements. Her father is angry and Mary, upset and angry herself, confides in the staff at her HKFYG Youth SPOT. She says she can’t keep up with her school work or homework and feels lost. She just wants to escape.
Alice, a normally well-behaved, hardworking primary schoolgirl, finds her mobile phone hard to resist. She neglects her chores and her mother, Anna, complains bitterly. As the arguments get worse, they decide to talk about it to the social workers at HKFYG where they both do voluntary work.
The staff recommend the mediation service and when both father and daughter start explaining to Pamela, the mediator, it becomes apparent that they are not just arguing about truancy and exams but also about how Mary spends her time in general. Ivan’s expectations of a dutiful, diligent daughter are not being met and Mary over-reacts to her father’s traditional, strict parenting. “In such circumstances,” Pamela explains, “a thirdparty can help both parties talk about how they really feel in a neutral environment.” In this case, pressure from school and from the father, combined with Mary’s selfexpectations created serious conflict and withdrawal as well as a complete breakdown of communication. Gradually, in Pamela’s presence, Ivan comes to understand Mary’s problems. “She promises to share her thoughts with her father more in future and accepts her father’s worries and point of view. Ivan realizes that his daughter needs to recover from the build-up of pressure and rediscover her motivation to study. To manage this, she needs more mental space and he has to allow her more flexibility,” explains Pamela.
The social workers who know them both quite well suggest trying mediation. “It’s her attitude,” Anna claims to begin with. “But you are always so angry,” retorts Alice. The mediator, recognizing a mismatch, realizes that Alice’s mobile phone itself is not the real problem. Instead, neither of them could see from the other’s perspective. Anna and Alice open up bit by bit and all the petty grumbles come out but both are very relieved to voice their feelings not least because they usually get on well. All they need is someone to stand between them and call “Truce!” Once they can talk to each other properly again they become closer than ever and are now district mediation ambassadors with HKFYG, using their own experience to show others what helps if conflict occurs.
More information on HKFYG Parent Support Network 家長全動網 PSN
Facebook Web
psn.hkfyg.hk 19
HKFYG Services September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Over-expectations It all started to go wrong when Peter was in Primary 5. Sue, his mother, is ambitious for her son. She wants him to go to a well-known secondary school but that puts him under a lot of pressure. He is very unhappy and has even threatened suicide. “After one of our workshops, Sue came over and told me how shocked she was,” says Martha, the mediator. “The root of the problem was that she had arranged for Peter to repeat a year at primary school in order to get good enough results in order to go to her preferred school.” At the mediation interview, it is clear that the level of conflict has risen to critical. “He is so angry,” says Sue, “I can’t believe it.” “I don’t care about going to that school,” Peter says despairingly. “I want to go into the next class with my friends but she won’t let me. She deliberately made me stay in Primary 5.” “But I just want the best for you,” cries Sue. The mediator calms them both down and eventually Sue bravely tells Peter how sorry she is, that she loves him and just wants them to be able to talk to each other. “So why do you keep pushing me …” Peter asks, still full of emotion and hurt. “You never listen. So what if my results aren’t that great? Is that all that matters?” It is not an easy process but little by little, Martha
coaxes both son and mother into a compromise. Sue promises always to discuss ideas about schools with Peter in future before making any decisions. Peter says he will try to be more communicative. He also says he will stop threatening self-harm. Although the learning process is traumatic it is also cathartic and the outlook seems brighter for them both.
Some Parent Support Network Programmes Parent-Child Ambassadors Scheme promotes effective parenting and skills for conflict management through five groups in Tsuen Wan, Tin Shui Wan, Kowloon City, Shaukiwan and Fan Ling. Happy Working Woman programme encourages hundreds of working women in Tsuen Wan and Yuen Long to achieve family-work balance. Smart Mum Alliance promotes women’s mental health throughout Hong Kong with 3,000 participants to date. Educational talks and workshops include successful conflict and emotional management and tips on work-life balance for working parents.
New: Quality Family Life Education Series The aim of this new cross-district programme is to show how quality parent-child relationships can be built with effective communication skills. As well as a mutual support network that builds a sense of cohesion among parents, there will be training sessions where common parenting concerns can be aired and experiences shared. Mutual mentorship in pair groups for peer support with role play for self-expression will parallel recreational programmes and voluntary work. Target 150 parents with children in Kowloon, Kwai Tsing and Tin Shui Wai Districts Launch November 2017 Partners Asbury Methodist Social Service & Choi Wan Rhenish Children and Youth Integrated Services Centre More details Web tyt.hkfyg.org.hk Enquiries Lui Kee-chak Tel 2445 5777
More information on HKFYG Parent Support Network
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家長全動網 PSN Web
psn.hkfyg.hk
香港青年協會就 親子教育方面提 供多元化的專業 服 務， 包 括 支 援 家 長 的 工 作 坊、 講 座、 支 援 青 年 的熱線和輔導等， 務求全方位協助 家庭改善他們面 對 的 難 題。 最 新 成 立 的「 家 長 全 動 網 」， 將 進 一 步增強在社交媒 體 的 支 援， 並 配 合 地 區 工 作， 為 家庭提供更全面 的一站式支援。
Books on parenting from HKFYG The Family with Conflicts [ 衝突這一家 )] A cartoon-style collection of 48 parent-child conflict scenarios with questions and tips on parenting. Publisher HKFYG 2014 ISBN 978-988-19689-3-7 Understanding Mediation [ 智在調解 ] How the theoretical basis of mediation works to support case work in practice. ISBN 978-988-124444-8-2 Normal price for both books HK$80 Special discount 60% off: HK$48 Enquiries Ada Chau 3755 7108 Youthline: counselling for young people There has been an increase of almost 60% in recent years in the Federation’s youth hotline counselling for family problems. Young people contact our counsellors by phone, on What's App, by Instant Messenger and SMS. Sometimes they call repeatedly saying they have nowhere else to go and they want to end it all. What can be done? Federation social workers assess the risks these young people are to themselves and consult clinical psychologists to decide on a strategy. Often parents are in the best position to help but poor communication and conflict at home gets in the way. All youngsters need reassurance, love, affection and a sense of self-worth. There are so many reasons for self-doubt. Parents and teachers, confronted with such confusion, can turn to the professionals, to the school social workers and counsellors. Go to utouch.hk or call Youthline 2777 8899 to find out more.
Enquiries Cecilia Ng 2788 3433
Mainland parents & Hong Kong schools Over 202,000 children with mainland parents were born in Hong Kong between 2001 and 2012. The strain on hospitals resulted in a government ban. Far fewer are now born in Hong Kong but all such children are automatically entitled to Hong Kong schooling because they are deemed to be Hong Kong permanent residents. Many mainland parents are glad of this entitlement but the sudden increase has caused problems for the city’s schools and the children.
Much controversy surrounds these issues. Opponents say that local Hong Kong taxpayers should not foot the bill for their education, nor should they be allocated scarce places in schools where demand is greatest. Mainland parents in this anomalous position are welcome to seek the help of the Parent Support Network whenever they are in Hong Kong. Read more
by Chris flic.kr/p/bGmoiB
These children, born in Hong Kong, have no mainland household registration and until recently could not enroll in public schools in Shenzhen. Many therefore travel daily for hours from Shenzhen across the border, to Hong Kong schools, and then back again each night. The only alternative is to find temporary accommodation locally.
• multimedia.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/crossborder-students/ • nytimes.com/2012/02/23/world/asia/mainland-chinese-flock-to-hong-kong-to-have-babies.html • ejinsight.com/20160330-mainland-mothers-regret-giving-birth-in-hong-kong/
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Perspectives September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Dismissed as a parent A
mother describes her anguish when faced with the interventions of professionals who are trying to help her son. They seem to be undermining her authority and her love.
When I read about yet another child taking his or her life, I weep. I weep for the lost life but even more I weep for the parents and the overwhelming sorrow they must feel. I also get angry and upset every time I read about the “experts” who try to determine the reasons why a child becomes suicidal when they actually have little or no background knowledge. In these situations, I know a lot of subtle fingerpointing is going on, accompanied by disapproving comments. I imagine outsiders to those families standing in judgement and saying to each other, “How could they not have known?” But that’s just it. It’s very easy not to know, not to know enough. I always thought we were good parents, creating a happy, healthy, safe place for the children to grow up. We believed we knew what was going on in their lives and that we knew their friends. When they were sad or happy, stressed or anxious, it seemed obvious and generally, we considered ourselves as extremely communicative parents. Now I realize that it was impossible for us to know absolutely everything.
Then one day, half way through the school year, I heard him crying in his room. When I went to him, he told me to leave, sobbing, saying he wanted to be alone. But I stayed and just held him. Eventually he said he wasn’t sure what was wrong. He just felt unable to cope, worried that, unlike his friends, he didn’t know what or where he wanted to study nor what he wanted to do with his life. I tried to reassure him but then he got angry and said that as parents, we’d failed. He said we should have been more like his friends’ and classmates’ parents, more focused, more diligent, more interested in his plans. He accused both his father and me of being “lazy” and lacking in commitment to his future. He told me he needed to talk to someone who would understand and that he was going to see the school counsellor the next day. Astonished, I didn’t stop him and honestly believed that talking to an impartial outsider might help him negotiate the challenges he believed he was facing. After a few weeks, the counsellor called me. She said that she believed my son needed someone more professional, someone with medical qualifications. She recommended a child psychiatrist. I was shocked and wanted to know why. All she would say was that he had serious issues that she could not deal with.
The psychiatrist did not take my views or opinions seriously ... I was dismissed both at school and at the clinic.
Our boy is an ordinary child who once seemed happy. Sometimes he’d chat with me and his father. At other times he’d chat with friends while playing online games. He got on with his sister and his other relatives were always pleased to have him around. He was not at the top of the class, nor was he in the ‘A’ team for any school sport, but he was nowhere near the bottom either. He took part in debates and drama, enjoying the challenge even if not winning awards. His sister once said, “He’s so boringly normal and would make a perfect son-in-law.” We all laughed. 22
Worried, but with great reluctance, I did what I was told. The psychiatrist saw him. I waited for nearly half an hour before being called in. The psychiatrist said my son had a major anxiety disorder, was depressed and needed medication if we wanted him to settle down at school and finish the school year. I asked how he could make such a diagnosis.
A boy, once engaged and happy, now minimally communicative. What did we do wrong? What had my son said? Wouldn’t the doctor like to know about our family’s situation? Didn’t he need my opinion? No. It was not necessary. He’d made his diagnosis and had prescribed two weeks of anti-anxiety and antidepression pills. He would see our boy again in 14 days. I was upset. The psychiatrist had not wanted to listen to my views nor had he given me any opportunity to ask about the medication, its possible side-effects or potentially addictive nature. In effect, I was dismissed as a parent by the professionals, both at school and in the clinic. Their presumption in making a diagnosis and prescribing medication for our child without wanting to know anything beyond what he had said to them stunned me. I wanted to tell them that I believed my son was feeling undue pressure as the end of school approached and choices had to be made. I wanted to tell them that I thought this was normal and that, as a family, we’d be able to work it out. But no one wanted to listen. Before giving my son any pills, I insisted he talk to me. I promised to say nothing to anyone about what he told me. All I wanted to know was what was troubling him.
He refused to speak, apart from saying that he’d told the counsellor and the psychiatrist everything and that if I wanted to know, I should ask them. He was happy to take the pills, convinced that medication would mean he would rediscover his balance and get back to “normal” even after I told him how concerned I was about their effects. In the end, after discussing the situation with my husband, we gave in. There seemed to be no alternative. Although we believe that there are professionals who can help those in need, looking now at how things unfolded we don’t think we were offered any help as a family. In fact, there was no support for us as parents and I would go so far as to say that our parenting was undermined by the professionals. They treated our son with little regard for our thoughts, feelings or possible insight. Two months later, our son is still on medication. The psychiatrist says he can see some improvement. All we see is a boy, once engaged, happy and “boringly normal,” who is now minimally communicative, with still no idea what he wants to do with his life. All we can do is wait. And hope.
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Perspectives September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Never give up A
nna, mother of an autistic teenager, faces multiple challenges, including serious health problems of her own. Her task is daunting and yet she copes with resilience, acceptance and an everlastingly positive attitude.
We were dumbfounded when we discovered that Tim is autistic even though we had suspected something was seriously wrong for a while. He didn’t start saying single words till he was two years old. The nurse at the government baby clinic told us not to worry. “Just wait and see,” she said. We waited anxiously and didn’t challenge her, but we should have. By the time Tim was in kindergarten we were seriously worried. At four years old he had never uttered a complete sentence. That’s when his teacher confirmed our suspicions. Tim was behaving oddly at school as well. We started queuing at the government Child Assessment Centre.* We know now that he is a highfunctioning autistic or HFA with ADHD, but he was already five by the time the formal assessment was complete. There is a shortage of practitioners for early intervention and five is very late for intervention. We began reading and educating ourselves. What we didn’t realize is that reading alone is never enough. Only experience can really teach parents like us about having an autistic child. The next three years were chaotic. First, I was ill and on sick leave. Then we realized Tim had problems dealing with language, any language, so we had to choose one even though we had been a bilingual home. My partner is an expat and my daughter’s first language is English. There was no choice. It could not be Cantonese. It had to be English. Since we live in Hong Kong I felt that I was cutting my son off from his own culture.
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The burdens were immense and our marriage nearly fell apart. My daughter’s initial reaction to Tim’s behaviour was incomprehension and embarrassment. She was 10 at the time and didn’t want to go anywhere with Tim because of his tantrums. Arranging family activities became more and more difficult. We were all too tired and stressed to enjoy ourselves. Nothing in our past experience could help. We felt desperate, marginalized in some ways and simply run out of coping resources.
By staying positive and yet stubborn, always pushing both the health and education authorities, we sought support everywhere.
Now I feel very grateful for all that I have learned in this long process. Tim has given me inspiration I would never have dreamt of. Communication was at the heart of so many disagreements. Not only Tim’s problems but ours as a family. We didn’t see it at the time. We were blind, and compromise did not come easily. At that point, when none of us could really explain clearly how we felt, just one word could ruin everything. The next hurdle was schooling. Tim went to a special kindergarten but when he joined his sister at primary school there was no support for his special needs. It’s well known that most Hong Kong schools have inadequate resources to support children with special needs and there are too few trained specialists, so he missed the “golden years” when behavioural and cognitive training can be most effective. Instead, by staying positive and yet stubborn, always pushing both the health and education authorities, we sought support everywhere. Of all the help I have received, my church friends and the language therapists have been best. One therapist taught me how to communicate with Tim. That was very important. But he needed English-speaking therapists and there are very few. We had to pay, as we have paid for many types of therapy some of which are free if offered in Chinese.
like Tim is improbable too because he is unlikely to meet compulsory university admission requirements. People like Tim can become independent members of the workforce but sadly, the competition and high expectations in this busy city mean little tolerance for autistics, including those with above-average talent. The absence of career or suitable occupational guidance and pathways in the government and business sectors creates a huge hurdle right at the end of years of compulsory education. What a waste it would be if they cannot contribute and become a burden. Autistics don’t need sympathy. They are not from Mars. They are not lazy and don’t lack ability. They are just different. They need understanding and acceptance, mentoring and coaching, challenge and hope. For that, Tim has given me the kind of inspiration I would never have dreamt of and I actually feel very grateful for all that I have learned in this long process of parenting an extraordinary child who is so very different from the average.
Autism trends
Luckily, due to a sympathetic teacher, Tim’s condition was assessed by the school’s own psychologist. Miraculously, the report meant he got a place with special learning support at the same secondary school as his sister. Had his sister not already been a student there, he would not have been admitted. What helped him most was careful observation at home, telling him about his condition and making sure he knew what it meant.
In the US, one boy in 42 is thought to be autistic – up from one in 14,000 in 1970.
Tim is 15 now and after queuing long enough to see a government psychiatrist, he also has medication for ADHD. That helped him too, but what really concerns us is the dead-end looming after secondary school and the impending dependency trap. This affects both Chinese and non-Chinese speaking youth with special needs in Hong Kong. Tertiary education for non-Chinese speakers
The Reason I Jump
In South Korea, one in 38 children of both genders aged 7-12 is affected. In Hong Kong, statistics show an upward trend too. In 2015, 10,200 people were diagnosed as autistic. Recommended Naoki Higashida, an autistic 20 year-old Fall Down 7 Times Get Up 8 Published in English by Random House, in 2013 and 2017
Notes * Details of Hong Kong government services for ASD: dhcas.gov.hk/english/health_pro/files/SeriesI_ASD_Eng.pdf
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Perspectives September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Being a single parent I
n this intensely personal account, a single parent describes her feelings and reactions to coping alone with child-raising.
No one I know goes into parenting thinking that there will be anything less than two parents, no matter how many children follow. So ending up as a single parent is usually something of a shock. The term “single parent family” generally conjures up images of a family led by a mother as a result of divorce. She seems to always be struggling with finances, sometimes unable to meet the obligations and demands involved in running a smooth and efficient household, and with children bordering on the deviant. There are two main stereotypes at work here. The first represents what constitutes a single parent household. However, death, separation and involuntary absences go towards making up the wider definition of a single parent. There are also individuals, still living as a couple, who consider themselves single parents when one partner, although physically present, is completely absent from the raising or nurturing of the children. The second stereotype is that of chaotic single parent families. There is sometimes an underlying assumption that children from these “broken” homes will end up underachieving in school and in the workplace. There is also the assumption that they will repeat the mistakes of their parents and perpetuate the cycle of single parenthood. Whatever the permutations and whatever the circumstances, the truth is that single parenting is never black and white and it certainly is not easy. I am a single mother through divorce. It is not something I envisaged nor is it something that I was initially sure I could handle on my own. However, for many people like me, there was no other choice and I just had to get on with it. Most of the time I try to imagine my situation is like that of any other parent − whether single or in a relationship − dealing with stroppy teens. It requires massive amounts of negotiation, has moments of intense frustration but also moments of tenderness and joy. Interestingly, while there will always be financial constraints, these are not what cause me the most sleepless nights. I am more troubled by what I feel is the lack of balance at home. This is especially so when I find myself having to be both “good” and “bad” parent, sometimes at the same time. 26
The truth, for me at least, is that single parenting is heartbreakingly sad … there is no one I know who would choose it. I also get concerned by a possible lack of perspective when serious decisions need to be made but ideas and thoughts cannot be bounced off another person. There are situations when I cannot cope, either through fatigue or circumstance, or when one crisis is followed (seemingly immediately) by many more. I also feel guilty − even if the guilt is not shared by anyone else − that my children do not have their father in their daily lives. Because of my loving relationship with my own father, I am sad that they are missing out on something that could have been very special. I do worry whether an absent father might colour my children’s perceptions of what a strong family man should be. My personality is such that I like routine and order, but I also know that as a single mother I probably run the ship a little more tightly than most. I do so precisely because I do not want anyone to criticise my children or me for any lapses in good behaviour or for disorganization. Whatever the challenges, I also see an upside to being a single parent. I am pleased that when quick conclusions need to be reached or judgements made, I can do so alone. I am also secretly grateful when I hear other parents complaining of endless debates about trivial, daily matters and constant arguments with partners about insignificant things. As a single parent, I also enjoy the children’s sole regard on a day-to-day basis. They know me better than they know their father, so that when they are anxious, need help or an opinion, or just want a hug, it is to me they turn. However, the truth, for me at least, is that single parenting is heartbreakingly sad. I know this may not be the case for everyone, especially those who suffered in their marriages or partnerships. I also know others who find being a single parent liberating, but on the whole, in spite of the difficult or unexpected circumstances that result in being a single parent, there is no one I know who would choose it. Ultimately, however, it is really not about the parent. It is about the children. Whatever life has thrown at me, it is my responsibility to provide as best I can for my children; not materially, but with a good education, sound values and a determined and independent spirit. The only obligation of any parent, I believe, single or otherwise, is to do your best to raise good and decent children. The rest is up to them. 27
Youth watch September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Bringing up children around the world J ennifer Lam looks at some cultural similarities and differences in parenting in a score of countries around the world.
Goals, hopes and expectations
The importance of education
A happy life is also the most important goal for parents in more than a dozen other countries, ranging from 56% in Indonesia, 60% in UAE, 77% in UK and 78% in 1 Canada to 86% in France, according to a global study. The report found that financial security rates highly in parents’ hopes for their children in France too, where 60% of parents say it is an important goal, whereas in Australia, Canada and Taiwan the figure is 41%. By contrast, only 16% of parents in mainland China, 20% in Mexico and the UAE and 22% in India (22%) say earning enough to live comfortably is a top priority. In India, where parents value obedience to authority 2 and interdependence, the most important goal for 51% of them is successful careers for their children. Only 49% of the Indian parents surveyed thought of happiness as the ultimate goal and only 22% rated earning enough for a comfortable life as top of the list. 17% rated fulfilling potential as the ultimate goal. Only Mexican parents are ahead of India in rating a 3 successful career as the ultimate goal, at 52%. In Sweden, children have equal rights within a family and are encouraged to express their opinions and actively 4 5 participate in family decisions. A Swedish study found that for 70% of both mothers and fathers, the most important parenting goal was rearing honest children. In the US, a report found that 80% of all parents emphasized personal freedoms as the top goal for their children and raising children more successful 6 than themselves. It also found 96% of parents valued strong moral character and truthfulness as the 7 most important traits for their children’s success.
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by shang jing flic.kr/p/UcZunE
In Hong Kong, 58% of parents say happiness is the ultimate goal for their children. 43% also rank earning enough money to enjoy a comfortable life as an important goal.
In Hong Kong, 67% of parents prioritize the cost of their children’s education over their own financial 8 wellbeing, according to a recent report. Overall, 60% were willing to go into debt to fund their children’s university education, 49% said such funding was more important than their own retirement savings and 32% would be least likely to sacrifice paying for their children’s education if they had to cut back on their outgoings. The report found parents in Asia and Mexico were in general the most likely to be willing to go into debt for the sake of their children’s university education. The figure was 81% in mainland China, 74% in Mexico, and 71% in India. Also common to most Asian parents, according to another recent global study, is faith in additional tutoring. Mainland China has the largest share of parents paying for additional tutoring (74%), followed by Indonesia (71%), India (71%), Malaysia (63%), Singapore (59%) and Taiwan (59%). By contrast, additional tutoring was very marginal in countries such as France (20%), 9 Australia (21%), UK (23%) and the US (26%).
Discipline In Hong Kong, corporal punishment by parents at home is legal. A 2014 survey showed that over half of the children 10 here had been spanked, 10% weekly and 5% daily. 11 Hong Kong has been criticized for this policy. In mainland China, harsh discipline at home is not 12 uncommon. As in Hong Kong, corporal punishment is 13 prohibited in schools. Harsh discipline is most likely to be directed at children aged 7 or over by mothers and young 14 fathers of both high and low socioeconomic status. In India, parents are also often strict and children are taught to obey. Physical punishment is sometimes used to discipline, control, and teach appropriate behaviour. 15 Children are required to follow parental instructions. In Japan, children are encouraged to conform to 16 social expectations. Mothers are often responsible for disciplining the children and tend to explain the consequences of children’s actions as a reason for selfrestraint. Discipline becomes stricter as the child gets older. In Mali, Nigeria, Namibia, Zambia and Malawi, the entire community considers it their responsibility to see that each child is raised appropriately. 17 Elders teach cultural values to the young. In Sweden, before the 1979 ban, more than half of the population considered corporal punishment a necessary
part of child-rearing. By 1996, the rate was 11%. Children 18 are punished by timeouts and other similar methods. In the US and UK, spanking children is socially acceptable for the majority, varying from 61%-80%. Social acceptance of corporal punishment is high in most countries where it remains lawful, particularly among more traditional groups. In many cultures, parents have historically been regarded as having the right, if not the duty, to physically punish misbehaving children in order to teach appropriate conduct. Researchers say that corporal punishment typically has the opposite effect, leading to more aggressive 19 behaviour in children and less long-term obedience.
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Youth watch September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
In Hong Kong, young people living independently from the family is quite rare according to a survey done by the City University of Hong Kong. This is attributed to a combination of cultural and economic factors. A 2007 study of three groups of parents, AngloAustralian, Vietnamese-Australian and SomaliAustralian, found that the first group valued independence and social skills in their children most highly and expected them to achieve obedience/self-regulation milestones much earlier than the other cultural groups. Somali parents expected earlier motor development than the Vietnamese but also expected children to achieve language, cognitive and obedience/self-regulation milestones later. 20
In the US, research has shown that mothers believe that stimulation of development and cognitive processing are the most important factors for maximizing 21 children’s potential and helping brain development. In Europe, according to the same research report, mothers in the Netherlands, Spain and Italy are most interested in providing children with a restful environment by meeting the baby’s physical and emotional needs, promoting emotional
Phillip Brookes flic.kr/p/8k8kBr
World Bank Photo Collection flic.kr/p/bjoQfx
Independence, harmony and opting out
closeness, and protecting and educating the child. The study showed that this was also true in South Korea. In the US, a study of Chinese American and Filipino 22 American families found that the Chinese parents expected adolescents to take an active role in the family, such as caring for siblings and family members, cleaning the home, and cooking meals. The children were taught how to live harmoniously with others. Filipino American families have similar parenting ideas and approve of trying to get along with others for the sake of creating harmony. 23 Another American study from Stanford University found that in an Asian-American parenting model, children learn the value of being interdependent with others, while in European-American families, the emphasis is on independence, developing self-reliance and self-esteem. Greater numbers of women are waiting longer to have children, or not having children at all. A survey in the Netherlands and the US estimated that 10% of women opt out of having children deliberately and 10% do so for medical reasons. In the UK, almost 1.5 million women in their 40s and 50s don’t have children and again, 24 10% have chosen unambiguously to be childfree.
Sources 1. blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/minorityview/indian-parents-have-very-high-expectations-abouttheir-childrens-education-and-careers/
10. ejinsight.com/20150428-corporal-punishment-by-parents-a-big-concern-says-hk-child-rights-group/
2. thelaboroflove.com/articles/are-discipline-methods-different-in-other-countries
11. linkedin.com/pulse/corporal-punishment-discipline-abuse-azan-marwah
3. blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/minorityview/indian-parents-have-very-high-expectations-abouttheir-childrens-education-and-careers/
12. journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00339/full
4. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3173942/
13. endcorporalpunishment.org/assets/pdfs/states-reports/China.pdf
5. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3173942/#R23
14. researchgate.net/publication/260997938_Parental_harsh_discipline_in_mainland_China_ Prevalence_frequency_and_coexistence
6. iasc-culture.org/survey_archives/IASC_CAF_ExecReport.pdf
15. thelaboroflove.com/articles/are-discipline-methods-different-in-other-countries
7. babble.com/baby/child-rearing-around-world/
16. babble.com/baby/child-rearing-around-world
8. hsbc.com/news-and-insight/media-resources/media-releases/2016/three-in-five-parents-would-takeon-debt-to-fund-their-childrens-university-education 9. blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/minorityview/indian-parents-have-very-high-expectations-about-
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their-childrens-education-and-careers/
17. ibid 18. thelaboroflove.com/articles/are-discipline-methods-different-in-other-countries
Eating together In Hong Kong, a University of Hong Kong survey this year found that families who families who had 25 dinner together had higher happiness scores. In South Korea, children are taught the value of waiting, even when hungry, until it is time for the whole family to sit down and eat together. In many western countries it is the habit to feed children special foods or endless 26 snacks. All children eat the same food as adults. In the US, 53% of adults with children under 18 said their families ate dinner together at home six 27 or seven nights a week, according to one survey. Other US research suggests that children might be 35% less likely to engage in disordered eating, 24% more likely to eat healthier foods and 12% less likely 28 to be overweight if they share family mealtimes.
In the UK, a survey of parents of young children found more than 20% of families ate together only once or twice a week. For 40% it was three times a week. 20% 29 of families ate “family meals” in front of the television. 60% per cent of parents used ready-made meals at least some of the time when feeding their children and nearly 90% did not always check nutritional information. In Japan, children are taught to eat what they are served, 30 with no options. Parents involve their children in making meals and families eat together. At school, children also all eat the same food and have no access to unhealthy snacks. In mainland China, rapid economic growth and increased urbanization have changed many people’s 31 eating habits, including those of children. According to a report this year from Peking University's School of Public Health, about 28% of 7-18 year-olds are 32 expected to be obese or overweight by 2030.
The western practice of putting babies in cots and then in separate rooms and not picking them up when they cry for fear of spoiling them 33 is not widely shared. A study of 19 nations showed the practice of cosleeping was more common in Asian, African, and Latin American families. Asian, African, and Latin American parents worry about the separation between the parents and the child, while European and North American 34 parents feared a lack of privacy for both the parents and the child. In Japan, co-sleeping with babies and children is common, as is immediate response to crying. In India, co-sleeping is also common and Indian 35 mothers often massage their babies. In mainland China, a research paper found that 79% of pre-school children and 53% of school-aged children shared a parent’s bed and that it was a socially 36 acceptable child-rearing process. It was also thought to strengthen family bonds and interpersonal interdependence.
by Elsie Escobar flic.kr/p/6ozHig for page31
Co-sleeping
In a tragic case of misunderstanding cultural nuances, an Indian family living in Norway had their children taken away by social workers because of co-sleeping, hand feeding and other issues. The children were separated from their parents for more than a year while the Indian and Norwegian governments were drawn into a protracted row. 37 Eventually, the children were allowed to live with their uncle in India. Only later did the mother regain legal custody. Sources 19. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Corporal_punishment_in_the_home 20. aifs.gov.au/publications/differential-parenting-children-diverse-cultural-bac/results
29. telegraph.co.uk/women/mother-tongue/9882717/British-familes-dont-eat-together-and-if-they-doits-often-in-front-of-the-TV.html
21. tuw.edu/health/child-rearing-practices-different-cultures/
30. kidssafetynetwork.com/here-is-a-method-that-is-helping-japan-be-the-worlds-healthiest-children/
22. mcclellandinstitute.arizona.edu/sites/mcclellandinstitute.arizona.edu/files/ResearchLink_2.1_Russell_ AsianFam.pdf
31. theguardian.com/global-development-professionals-network/2015/nov/24/defusing-chinaschildhood-obesity-timebomb
23. news.stanford.edu/news/2014/may/asian-european-moms-052014.html
32. telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/12/one-four-china-children-expected-overweight-2030-amidobesity/
24. independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/why-being-a-childless-woman-is-rarely-asimple-case-of-choice-or-infertility-a6901521.html 25. scmp.com/news/hong-kong/health-environment/article/2093961/hongkongers-are-generallyhappy-survey-finds-and 26. thenextfamily.com/2015/05/20-ways-that-parenting-styles-differ-around-the-world/ 27. gallup.com/poll/166628/families-routinely-dine-together-home.aspx 28. human.cornell.edu/pam/outreach/upload/Family-Mealtimes-2.pdf
33. huffingtonpost.com/christine-grossloh/have-american-parents-got-it-all-backwards_b_3202328. html 34. wikipedia.org/wiki/Co-sleeping 35. huffingtonpost.com/christine-grossloh/have-american-parents-got-it-all-backwards_b_3202328. html 36. tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09291011003687940 37. telegraphindia.com/1130111/jsp/nation/story_16428670.jsp
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Culture September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Living heritage
hybrid culture P
reservation of heritage is important for sense of identity and belonging yet much in Hong Kong is at risk. What is being done to prevent its loss, asks Janice Ho. policy. This paved the way for a public consultation and members of the younger generation have been proactive in voicing their concerns about lack of timely government action ever since, especially on social media.
Every time I walk past heritage buildings or recognize historic landmarks, I feel connected to the past of Hong Kong. I was ten when my family first took me to Central and showed me the old Supreme Court, now the Court of Final Appeal. Even then, the great contrast between the solemnity of that 100 year old neo-classical monument, and the commercial buildings nearby struck me. If we don’t look after such fragments of history, they will be easily disappear, hidden by or buried under skyscrapers. In the past two decades, many people have become more aware of the need to conserve heritage. Where most Hong Kong people once lacked any strong feelings about the city’s historical assets, now there is a growing sense that we are at risk of losing something precious. Members of the public of all generations, including my own relatives, agree. Where once their overriding concerns were economic growth, financial stability and prosperity, now there is also a groundswell of concern for our heritage. It is our past.
Not only should there be more work to save monuments from demolition, there should also be more heritage trails to make our fascinating cultural past more publicly accessible. Presently, there are only seven such trails − Ping Shan, Lung Yeuk Tau, Central and Western, Tai Tam Waterworks, Wan Chai, St Stephen’s College and Shing Mun War Relics Heritage Trails. What about heritage trails among the forgotten charm of some pre-war and post-war buildings such as the tong lau, the shop houses or 1960s tenements?
pp The old Supreme Court
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by Kfsung - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0 commons. wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=28750135
by Christian Junker | Photography flic.kr/p/9vgdEp
In particular, there has been demand for the conservation of colonial and intangible heritage. The dispute over the conservation of Queen’s Pier was a turning point that raised the question of a review of conservation
Some recent examples are the King Yin Lei Mansion, the Red House and the State Theatre in North Point (see box). The 1930s King Yin Lei Mansion in Happy Valley was offered for sale in 2004 but no action was taken to preserve it. The government argued that it was private property and a large amount of compensation would be due. However, due to public pressure, it was declared a monument in 2008, only after workmen removing parts of the tiled roof were reported by the media reports.
pp King Yin Lei Mansion
Heritage at risk
While some have acquired listing as graded buildings only 114 have been declared monuments. Difficulty in reaching agreement on financial compensation for private owners is often given as a reason. However, a recent Audit Commission’s report* pointed to the lack of conservation of graded buildings, the lack of heritage tours in others, and the long disuse of graded buildings, especially government buildings. The report also revealed that statutory provisions help some overseas governments to acquire private historic buildings for conservation. Why not here too? The 1950s former State Theatre building in North Point is an example. Closed in 1997, it was given Grade I
Another focus should be disappearing industrial buildings. One way of trying to conserve streetscapes without making the result economically unproductive is by adaptive repurposing in ways that leave the shell intact. In some areas it is already too late − Kwun Tong and Kowloon Bay for example − where the government has already started to redevelop traditional industrial buildings as a new business and commercial centre. But it is not too late for the Kowloon Flour Mills, the only operating flour mill in Hong Kong.
status in December 2016. It has an iconic parabolic roof structure, probably one of a kind in Asia. Its present status does not remove the risk of demolition even though it is under grave threat of redevelopment. Perhaps monument status will save it, but only thanks to the work of proactive heritage conservancy groups.
by Elaine Morgan
The Antiquities and Monuments Office began to assess Hong Kong’s buildings about 20 years ago, looking at 8,000 possible sites and concluding that 1,444 buildings could be declared monuments. Nevertheless, only monument status will prevent their demolition of others.
pp 1950s State Theatre, North Point *Source aud.gov.hk/pdf_e/e60ch01.pdf
Changing social values have meant that the scope of conservation has been extended from built heritage to other forms of both tangible and intangible cultural heritage. Hong Kong began working on a list of items in 2007 in response to a UN Convention which China ratified in 2004. The list includes the Cantonese language and the Tai Hang Fire Dragon Dance (pictured). It also lists many other local rituals and festivals as well as techniques for making salted fish, snake wine and milk tea.
An inventive example of adaptive re-use can be seen in the Tsun Yip Street Playground. By converting four containers into rain shelters and exhibition pavilions, this project is a good example of rejuvenating a public space while demonstrating industrial heritage.
pp Tai Hang Fire Dragon Dance : an example of intangible heritage.
What is needed now is a better coordinated platform to incorporate different views of all stakeholders in our heritage. Then we may find the best way forward.
pp Tsun Yip Street Playground: an example of adaptive reuse
Janice Ho Hiu-fai is a student of urban planning.
More details ekeo.gov.hk/en/quick_wins/tyspp1/index.html
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Culture September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Not only for fun B
oard games are a big hit for people of all ages. Old favourites like Monopoly, Cluedo and Checkers have now been joined by many others. Eric Ngan is trying hard to promote them as a great alternative to online gaming for all the family, reports Ada Chau.
From cards to board games
Irreplaceable social contact
Eric remembers playing a card game called Magic: The Gathering when he was in his teens. “It’s a trading game, the first ever to be produced. It uses a deck of at least 60 cards and active players need to continue buying them to stay competitive. Eventually, it became too expensive for me and that’s when I discovered board games.”
Like most young people, Eric once enjoyed playing multiplayer online games as well. “Those games are great fun and usually very challenging, but now I prefer board games. The reason is the face-to-face communication and interaction.” Eric goes on to say that, “Although there are times when you play online in a chat room context, it’s very different when you can see other people’s facial expressions and watch their body language. That’s the kind of human interaction I enjoy. It adds a completely different dimension and I think it is good for people of all ages. Families too, of course.”
Now, his all-time favourites include Codenames, Dead Last, Eclipse, Spyfall and Dice Town. “When I found out about the Hong Kong Board Gamers meetups* I was hooked! There are so many games to choose and I found them all fascinating,” enthuses Eric.
by David Reyes flic.kr/p/9q2EBg
“My current favourite is Mansions of Madness, now available in an app-based edition. It’s a cooperative game of strategy, horror and mystery for up to five players and takes two to three hours to play,” Eric explains. Its scenarios, based on the stories of famous horror-fiction writer, HP Lovecraft, includes an investigator who solves mysteries in a mansion called Arkham. Game players search for clues and evidence, fighting off bloodthirsty monsters in the process of solving an intricate puzzle. New app-assisted features include sound effects, like wind howling and glass breaking, for an enhanced experience. “Perfect for a stormy winter night!” laughs Eric.
34
by Scott Rubin flickr.com/photo/12777841@N00/6612894829
Many parents in Hong Kong are often just too busy to spend much time with their children, but playing board games has added value. Not only can playing the games provide a setting where parents and children bond as team members, but also, “There are many games which involve tactics, decision-making and intelligent strategy. With these, parents can help their children to learn while enjoying family time,” Eric suggests.
From player to organizer In order to encourage more people in Hong Kong to find out about what’s available and become players themselves, Eric has become proactive. He says of the Hong Kong Board Gamers, “We hope other people will want to try out different games, like us. In Taiwan, Europe and the US, new games come out nearly every week so we monitor new releases and keep people informed.”
Taking on more responsibility means making more time, but for Eric it’s always worthwhile. “Not only can I enjoy playing but also I can meet others and teach them. It involves EQ and IQ, and as in many skills, there is a practical element in playing board games that involves learning lessons that are applicable in real life too. * More details goo.gl/Bwj701
The group hosts board game gatherings every two weeks for both newbies and veterans. Not only do they teach people how to play but also they settle disputes and arguments. “Changing from a participant to an organizer means more responsibility and sometimes we have to ask participants to relax when they seem too keen to win. Usually, checking the rule book will solve the problems but you would be surprised at how persistent people can be!”
pp Introducing games to participants
By yoppy Flic.kr/p/cCiudw
Family games that help children to learn
Skills
Game
Players
Playing Time (Minutes)
Mathematics
Team Play
3 to 6
30
Imagination
Imagine
3 to 8
15 - 30
Negotiation
Chinatown
3 to 5
60
Deduction
Mystery of the Abbey
3 to 5
120
Co-operation
Forbidden Island
2 to 4
30
Problem Solving
Ubongo 3D
2 to 4
30
pp Young people playing “Ubongo 3D”
35
City space September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Sleep = brain food D
epriving ourselves of sleep is like depriving our brains of essential nutrients. Why are we doing this to ourselves, asks Stephanie Hung.
A Hong Kong survey found that on a school day more than a third of children sleep on average only six to seven hours, despite the fact that 5-12 year-olds need 10 to 11 hours’ sleep a day and those aged 1218 need 8.5 to 9.5 hours. In fact, Hong Kong ranked last out of 15 in a recent sleep survey of the Asia-Pacific region, lacking on average 2.5 hours per night.1 Lack of sleep is a typical symptom of overwork or too much studying. Although usually a minor problem in the short run with a quick recovery time, the long-term effects are potentially serious and permanent. The permanent effects include memory loss, brain damage and death.2 And yet, some parents believe the hours that should be spent sleeping are needed for homework or extra-curricular activities that might boost grades or pad out CVs. They should be warned.3 Other than work and study, what else stops people sleeping? Many people of all ages spend 3.7 to 4.7 hours daily online. This apparent craze impacts heavily on quality of sleep. Hong Kong “internet-addicted teenagers” scored “significantly poorer” than other teenagers on all components of the Pittsburgh Sleep Quality Index, a questionnaire which assesses sleep quality over a month. Poorer sleep quality means that teenagers feel sleepy during the day and keep waking up in the middle of the night. It takes an average of 21.56 minutes for Hong Kong teenagers to fall asleep and the “internet addicts” had used more sleep medication, more sleep disturbances and experienced more daytime dysfunction.4 I know from personal experience that this is true. In order to de-stress, I used to watch television brainlessly before I went to bed. Little did I know that the blue light from the television would actually keep my brain switched on for longer. The blue light from an e-book or other device can do the same, affecting the 36
body’s natural clock and the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin more than any other wavelength of light.5 It felt as if I had more hours for school or for work because I woke up early and slept late. In fact, my efficiency level decreased dramatically. I was once told that you can train yourself to sleep less but this myth has been debunked.6 I discovered that I had to read a simple sentence repeatedly before understanding it. Furthermore, I was less responsive to those around me and had no energy to exercise. Instead, by making an effort to train myself out of these habits I now feel much more refreshed and productive during the day. Giulio Tononi, a professor of sleep medicine at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, says, “Sleep is essential and one main reason is that it allows the brain to learn new things every day while preserving and consolidating the old memories.”7 Not only does sleep help us reboot our bodies, manage our weight, and re-energize for a new day, a study by the Institute of Education at the University of California at Irvine shows that sleep is also essential for language learning, memory, problem-solving and behavioural development. In fact, lack of sleep could lead to an increase in childhood tantrums, mood swings, poor concentration and a compromised immune system.8 Implementing strict bedtime rules should be very attractive to parents but just reminding kids about bedtime is insufficient. Enforcement is necessary too. Bedtimes rules are not only about the mental and physical health of children, but also about teaching them to take responsibility for themselves, to become independent and, “to see if they are on track in terms of both time and in calming down before bed,” says Michelle Garrison of Seattle Children’s Research Institute at the University of Washington.
by Space Pirate Queen_flic.kr/p/7ug5d6
Hong Kong ranked last out of 15 in a recent sleep survey of the Asia-Pacific region, lacking on average 2.5 hours per night. Prohibiting snacks after a certain time and implementing an hour of reading before bedtime or simply family time can all work. Limiting technology use at home works well too and can be achieved by only having device chargers outside the children’s rooms and dimming the brightness of devices towards bedtime. Best, and least popular, is just turning off all electronic devices and removing them. What else can adults do? In many Hong Kong offices, employees can be seen heads down on their desks after lunch. A siesta is a good idea but this seems a sad solution. There has been a recent upsurge of interest in “sleeping pods” for the sleep-deprived worker. SLEEEP, Hong Kong’s first “capsule hotel” in Sheung Wan, provides eight such “sleeping environments” on an hourly or nightly basis. It claims that their lighting, ventilation and climate control are all based on scientific findings that ostensibly give occupants the best quality sleep possible.9
Companies such as PwC and Google do even better. They have “EnergyPods” in their offices, intended to help the sleep-deprived.10 Another solution is flotation therapy, provided by companies like Zero Gravity and Float On. Clients destress and fall asleep afloat in a tank filled with salt water. Sounds good? Maybe coming soon to a school or workplace near you!
Stephanie Hung is a barrister and regular contributor
Sources 1.
yp.scmp.com/news/hong-kong/article/103440/hk-scores-low-wellness-and-sleep-survey.
2.
medicaldaily.com/sleep-deprivation-7-dangerous-effects-long-term-sleeping-problems-271383
3.
businessinsider.com/you-cannot-train-yourself-to-need-less-sleep-2016-12.
4.
hkiednews.edu.hk/en/content/index.do%3Bjsessionid=D169BEE4A695239486664AC05CABCD8B?contentCode=1370412790634.
5.
scientificamerican.com/article/q-a-why-is-blue-light-before-bedtime-bad-for-sleep/.
6.
scmp.com/news/hong-kong/health-environment/article/1933413/hong-kongs-sleepless-children-will-lack-creativity.
7.
theguardian.com/science/2016/aug/23/sleep-resets-brain-connections-crucial-for-memory-and-learning-study-reveals.
8.
channelnewsasia.com/news/lifestyle/is-your-kid-getting-enough-sleep-8971170.
9.
scmp.com/magazines/post-magazine/short-reads/article/2067472/place-go-power-nap-or-good-nights-sleep-hong.
10. ft.com/content/800cd432-4133-11dd-9661-0000779fd2ac?mhq5j=e1.
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City space September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Careers in shipping S
ince 1997, Hong Kong’s shipping industry has faced tremendous challenges. Once world No. 1 port, Hong Kong is now No.5 and sliding. Where next for careers connected to the sea, asks maritime specialist, Dr Dai Wai-si. Deng Xiaoping’s opening up of mainland China’s economy meant that Hong Kong’s economy flourished. The port leap-frogged into the world’s top spot in the 1990s. How? By becoming a single-function container hub. But that era ended with the Great Recession triggered by the global financial crisis in 2007-2008. Shipping then plunged into its worst downturn since the beginning of the 20th century. As global trade rebuilds, ports in the Greater Bay Area are overtaking Hong Kong and Shanghai is booming. Singapore also appears to be succeeding in its aggressive pursuit of regional dominance as an international shipping centre. So is it all doom and gloom for the HKSAR? Huge loss of jobs and the end of the maritime industry? Disappearing career pathways for any young people who want to join the industry? Certainly not. Instead, it’s time to shift focus and discover new opportunities. The way forward for Hong Kong’s maritime industry is to evolve. As Sabrina Chao Sih-ming, chairwoman of the Hong Kong Shipowners Association and of Wah Kwong Shipping, recently said of the shipping industry, fortunately it “…is so much more than just our port…[that’s] only one aspect of our business.” Although it’s easy to think of jobs in shipping as work for crew on board ships, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
38
Beneath the surface is a much greater world of skills needed to keep those ships afloat and trading. These skills are in shipping finance, ship and crew management, shipping IT, marine insurance, state-of-the-art marine and electronic engineering, maritime law and many more. The list of what’s called the “maritime cluster” is huge and that’s where the HKSAR government and the industry are placing their hopes for the industry’s future. But there is still more to be done. In shipping, as elsewhere in Hong Kong’s business world, the focus should be on automation. That means a future of fully automated ships, a world of entirely computer-controlled loading and unloading, and a world of AI-transformed shipping documentation. (See box on page 39.) There’s a big market in the development, design, manufacture, distribution and maintenance of the sophisticated software and hardware needed for that future maritime world and an equally big need for the skills to create it. Hong Kong’s shipping industry today is facing a situation similar to that of its forerunners. It is like the first years of the steam engine or the invention of the shipping container. Tomorrow is another world. A world of innovative, exciting careers.
Beneath the surface is a much greater world of skills needed to keep those ships afloat and trading. Full Speed Ahead
Skills in Demand
Imagine. A massive container ship in the South China Sea receives the latest weather report. There’s a typhoon brewing ahead. The ship changes course and speed to avoid it but still meet its target arrival point and time. The ship’s owners and the harbourmaster at its next port of call are advised of the changes, all of which are monitored by skilled technicians.
In Hong Kong, as in many developed economies, struggles are taking place to match job opportunities with young adults who don’t have a degree but who grew up in a world of IT. For them, a new kind of job market is emerging. While not for the highly-skilled, these jobs are not for the low-skilled either. A new name has been given to the people who have them. They are called the “middle-skilled.” Researchers at LinkedIn create an annual ranking of skills most in demand. Most hard skills are tied to IT. Soft skills are desirable too.
What’s different from shipping today? There’s no one aboard the ship. It’s operated via a satellite data link. Automated ships are expected to be safer, more efficient and cheaper to run and the world's first will embark on its maiden voyage in Norway next year. In Shanghai, the Unmanned Cargo Ship Development Alliance has joined the American Bureau of Shipping with the intention of delivering a working autonomous cargo ship by October 2021. The Maritime Safety Administration and Wuhan University of Technology are partners in a similar project.
HARD SKILLS • Cloud computing expertise • Data mining and statistical analysis • Smartphone app development • Data storage engineering and management • User interface design
Time for Hong Kong innovators to climb on board.
• Network security expertise
More information
SOFT SKILLS
• spectrum.ieee.org/transportation/marine/forgetautonomous-cars-autonomous-ships-are-almost-here • bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-06-06/robot-ghostships-to-take-miner-s-technology-drive-on-high-seas • dezeen.com/2017/08/01/worlds-first-autonomouselectric-cargo-ship-sets-sail-2018/ • silkroadbriefing.com/news/2017/08/03/chinas-autonomous-cargoshipping-alliance-digital-unmanned-obor-maritime-deliveries/
• Communication • Curiosity • Adaptability • Teamwork • Empathy • Time management • Open-mindedness This skills-based approach to work is gaining momentum with non-profit organizations, schools and companies, typically in partnerships. In the US, Microsoft has announced a grant of more than US$25 million to help Skillful, a programme to foster skills-oriented hiring, training and education. Something similar in Hong Kong soon perhaps? More information • skillful.com • mobile.nytimes.com/2017/06/28/technology/ tech-jobs-skills-college-degree.html
Dr Dai Wai-si is a university professor and historian with expertise in maritime heritage. Dai Wai-si is his official Chinese name. 39
City space September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Leading lights A
daptive reuse of old buildings that have lost their original function can be both innovative and attractive. Here is an example that could be adopted by Hong Kong.
Hong Kong’s lighthouses once showed sailors how to find their way around. Then came automation in the 1970s and 1980s which meant that lighthouse keepers were no longer needed, and more recently GPS has taken over navigation. The result is that lighthouses are becoming obsolete, jobs related to them are disappearing and the buildings are up for disposal. Nevertheless, only five of Hong Kong’s scores of lighthouses and beacons have been declared monuments. What else might be done? In other countries, old lighthouses have become museums, tourist attractions and holiday camps. They can be used for adventure training, nature education or artists’ workshops. And, of course, they are ideal as mobile telephone antenna stations or local radio stations. Creative thinking by the International Association of Lighthouse Authorities in 2009 shows how the end of the old is never the absolute end. It has prepared a business plan for the complementary use of historic lighthouses which proposes turning them into visitors’ centres or museums.
pp Macau’s Guia Lighthouse The study of history goes handin-hand with hi-tech, as a City University architecture student shows. Anthony Leung Ka Ho, a key member of the team studying lighthouses, has used his skills with CAD software on one of mainland China’s pp 3-D image of old lighthouse, Penghu first home-designed lighthouses. It was built in Penghu, Taiwan, in 1778. With the help of specialists and research data, he transformed a photograph that had been lost for 142 years into a 3D image that had dimensions, location and the time and date the photo was taken printed. Then he create a 3D model of it.
commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=25251543
Several groups of City University of Hong Kong students set out to explore possibilities and have made a series of short videos, beginning with filming lighthouses in Hong Kong, Macau and Taiwan. In future, Qingdao, Kaohsiung
and Hong Kong’s Green Island are targets plus many other lighthouses in mainland China, Taiwan and Malaysia. With newly discovered historic lighthouse sites in Hong Kong, there is much more that can be done to bring tangible heritage alive.
pp Cape D’Aguilar Lighthouse
pp Green Island Lighthouse
pp Yuwengdao Lighthouse, Penghu, Taiwan Photos Courtesy of Professor HS Ching, City University of Hong Kong
40
HKFYG September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
PH3 Party House now open for booking Looking for a place to hold a party? Seek no further! Whether you need an open space with room to dance or something more intimate, the Federation’s new venue is perfect. PH3: an HKFYG social enterprise
Ideal for a party of around 40
Equipment & facilities
In a revitalized Wan Chai historic building in the heart of a trendy city quarter, it offers the perfect place for a private hen party, a baby shower or company workshop. This 1,000 sq. ft. space, with its jazzy flooring, stylish balcony and endlessly versatile interior, is where it’s at.
l Private / company celebration events l Gatherings / birthday parties l Art exhibitions l Formal ceremonies l Corporate and social gatherings l Mini-concerts l Product launches l Workshops
l Stage l 65” LED Smart TV l Projector & 96” screen l Wifi & AV system l Wireless microphones l Refrigerator & ovens
Tailor-made services by professional young entrepreneurs l Décor l Catering l Souvenirs l Photo-shoots Convenient location
Lee Tung Street, a five-minute walk from Wan Chai MTR station
Address 3/F, 186, 188 and 190, Queen’s Road East, Wan Chai, Hong Kong Tel
5933 6323
ph3@hkfyg.org.hk
Web
PH3.hk
41
Strengthening social cohesion
T
his survey asked young people about social togetherness at a point when a new adminstration was about to take charge of a society that has been split by diverse opinions.
Hong Kong, a city with a long history of diversity, has recently witnessed deep controversy and serious confrontations over economic development, livelihood issues and the changing political landscape. Some people worry about the erosion of Hong Kong’s basic values, its governance and long-term prospects. An overwhelming majority (95.2%) of respondents in the survey thought social cohesion and togetherness in Hong Kong was important. For them, the greatest meaning social togetherness has for Hong Kong was its potential to improve livelihoods (27.6%), to keep the city moving on (27.4%), or to increase people’s sense of belonging (20.8%). On a scale of 0-10, 7.3 the average extent to which respondents felt society had been serious risk of fracture in recent years. The biggest obstacle to cohesion was considered to be lack of mutual trust between citizens and the government (33.0%).
an increase in youth membership of advisory and statutory bodies from about 10% today to no less than 15% in order to show the government’s trust in and willingness to listen to young people while providing them with more opportunities for training in public service. Comments from think tank members
Richard Cheng, convener “In the past, society was more focused on problem-solving and solution-finding. Now, Hong Kong needs a clearer vision. The government should think about the city’s development and put more emphasis on public engagement.” Ansel Lam, member “It is normal for people to have diverse views in any society but that does not mean social togetherness is impossible. It requires cooperation and the engagement of each individual. Achieving a greater sense of togetherness is a challenge for the government, for civil society Ray Poon, member “I believe that young people have high expectations of togetherness and they are willing to take action individually to realize this goal. The government and of opportunities for youngsters to experience unity.”
One outcome of the study was a recommendation for Report No. 23 HKFYG Youth I.D.E.A.S. Governance & Constitutional Development group Published title “Young People’s Views on Togetherness” 519 15-34 year-olds took part in a territory-wide random sample telephone survey from May to June 2017. Four focus groups were held in April and May with 17 young people. Four academics or experts were interviewed. Full details [in Chinese] yrc.hkfyg.org.hk/news.aspx?id=fb455d7b-39e4-4975-8809-c50b9ee2bc25&corpname=yrc&i=9559&locale=zh-HK Enquiries Sharon Cheung 3755 7039
42
Taking a Gap in Studies Views of Senior Secondary Students
I
n recent years, taking a gap year has become popular among secondary school leavers in western countries. It is often seen as a part of life planning. Research confirms that it allows time for personal reflection and development. Comments from think tank members
Alan Yip “Taking a gap year involves learning how important it is to plan one’s life. It can also help provide clear direction for future personal development through experience. We suggest that the government sets up a pilot scheme that describes how to plan a useful gap year and then put the plan into action. The scheme would give guidance on financial support and set a quota for interested students. An evaluation and impact assessment of gap years taken in the scheme should also be conducted.”
Respondents in this study believed taking a gap year can broaden horizons, increase independence and help identify life goals. 75.7% said they would consider joining an organized gap year programme in secondary school and almost 63% believed it would be an enriching experience. However, 60% were afraid of delaying academics studies and said they would not join such a programme for this reason.
Mac Chan “We recommend that secondary and tertiary educational institutions establish a mechanism that enables students who have been accepted for tertiary courses to reserve their places in higher education. This might allay fears about delaying study.” Gigi Yeung “Both the government and NGOs should promote the idea of gap years through talks and social media. By inviting those who have taken a gap year to describe their experience to other students, the importance of life planning could be shown and the value of seeing a wider world would be better understood. Another good outcome might be raised awareness among people of all ages of the inherent value of a gap year as an opportunity for young people to develop into more rounded, mature adults.”
Report No. 24 HKFYG Youth I.D.E.A.S. Education and Innovation group Published title “Views of Senior Secondary Students on Taking a Gap in Their Studies” 905 senior secondary students were polled in June and July 2017. 28 of them and 17 parents also participated in focus group interviews. Full details [in Chinese] yrc.hkfyg.org.hk/news.aspx?id=964b5833-cf9e-4301-9705-b3bcbe8962ec&corpname=yrc&i=9587 Enquiries Biji Ho 3755 7042
43
HKFYG September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Read more! New books from HKFYG in 2017 HIGHLIGHTS Hiking Hong Kong Ridges
Project R
Stories and trails from ten hong kong hikers
Assisting arrested youth Hundreds of young people, many with problems that have never before come to the attention of social services, are helped by this project. It is for 10-24 year-olds who get themselves into trouble and are under investigation by the police and its name reflects its focus: rational thinking, rational behaviour and reconnecting with society. The support services offered by Project R include immediate crisis intervention, cognitive behavioural therapy and parent-child communication training.
Mathew and Herman used to work in banking. Now they have founded hkhiker, a walking group for all lovers of Hong Kong’s beautiful countryside and its many fascinating historic nooks and crannies. Weekly hikes in Hong Kong’s hills, suitable for all levels of fitness, are arranged by hkhiker and promoted on Facebook and Instagram. “Once, I read a book that introduced the history of Hong Kong once and it made me realize how little I knew about my home city. Now, whenever I go out hiking I always look for interesting historical sites and some of them are featured in this book,” says Herman. “We were lucky to get lots of information from experienced, enthusiastic people who we met through hiking,” says Mathew. “A few share their stories with our readers in this new book and we also introduce some of their favourite trails.”
Four stories appear in this new book. Chun, for example, brought up by his mother, has become a tough, sometimes violent, young adolescent. Since his father died, his mother finds it hard to show how much she loves him and there are constant arguments at home. Now 15, Chun has a fiery temper and when his best friend tells him a classmate has been rude, Chun, loses control. “I was so angry, I just punched him in the face.” Chun gets arrested for common assault and criminal intimidation and the police contacted Mr Ng, a social worker from HKFYG’s Project R. When he spoke to Chun’s shocked mother she said, “I was so relieved to find someone who could help us.” Mr Ng went to court with them, gave Chun advice and suggested a range of parent support talks and workshops for his mother.
Project R: Winner of 2017 Hong Kong Council of Social Service Best Practice Award More details Facebook “hkhiker”
44
More details ycpc.hkfyg.org.hk/page.aspx?corpname=youthlaw&i=8815
Special Discounts for Youth Hong Kong readers!
50 %
Present this coupon to enjoy
H
off on all new titles Visit our office 1 October till 31 December in office hours
Learning about Love
Belt and Road Keywords
愛情研習室
一帶一路通識詞彙手冊
ISBN: 978-988-77132-7-2 Price: $80 Now $40
ISBN: 978-988-77133-3-3 Price: $80 Now $40
• • • •
• Keywords in economics, trade, politics, energy, culture etc • Arranged to match the DSE liberal studies curriculum • For teachers, students and anyone seeking Belt and Road information
Turning Point II
One Word, One Character, One Story
重新出發
不要放棄「字」療
ISBN: 978-988-77132-6-5 Price: $80 Now $40
ISBN: 978-988-77133-0-2 Price: $80 Now $40
Eight winners of the Turning Point − Improvement Award Stories of vulnerable youth at a crossroads Choosing to change for the better Inspiring others to do likewise
• Reflections on single words or characters • Thought-provoking and inspirational • Second title in the HKFYG “Youth Writer” programme
Project R [see Highlights]
Backpackers on the Belt and Road
守 望 計 劃 ─被 捕 青 少 年 支 援 服 務
背包行．體驗旅人
ISBN: 978-988-77132-5-8 Price: $90 Now $45
ISBN: 978-988-77133-2-6 Price: $100 Now $50
• Four stories of young people in trouble with the law • Social workers help them, parents and victims before trial • Views from police, lawyers and doctors
• • • •
Collection point 21/F, The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Group 21 Pak Fuk Road, North Point, Hong Kong
iking, helping vulnerable youth, creative writing and backpacking … all of these and more in 10 new titles from the Federation.
• Four love stories illustrating different choices • Active reader participation changes story and its ending • Analysis helps young people understand more about love and making the right decisions
• • • •
Email CPS@hkfyg.org.hk or Call 3755 7109 to arrange collection of your books
• 20 countries visited by sponsored young travellers • Useful information and tips on travelling • Touching stories and reflections
Life’s Ups and Downs
Hiking Hong Kong Ridges [see Highlights]
跌倒．再彈起
一脈．山城
ISBN: 978-988-77132-9-8 Price: $90 Now $45
ISBN: 978-988-77132-4-0 Price: $100 Now $50
HKFYG Positive Life Attitude Award For Young People For young people who face challenges and difficulties 20 awards given each year Touching true life stories from award-winners
• • • •
Appreciating beautiful Hong Kong landscapes Learning while hiking 10 hiking routes 10 stories about well-known hikers
Know-how for Healthcare Assistants
Happy Kingdom
智 在 醫 理 ── 醫 療 助 理 通 識 課
快樂王國
ISBN: 978-988-77132-9-6 Price: $100 Now $50
ISBN: 978-988-77132-1-9 Price: $150 Now $75
Essential basic reading for anyone interested in the industry Information on the growth of the sector Workflow involved with various jobs Preparing for careers in healthcare
• • • •
AR features teach children positive thinking Animations for use with smart devices Also good for conventional reading Suitable for primary to junior high students
45
HKFYG September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Learning for living W
hatever your age and your learning wish list, HKFYG’s Living Life Academy has something for you. Its purpose is to encourage young people to enjoy life and see lifelong learning as an enabler of enjoyment. With a wide range of courses on themes such as the Art of Living; Knowledge Enrichment; Ability Enhancement, and Career Development, the emphasis is on interests and experience that can expand potential and improve quality of life. Launched in July this year, the Living Life Academy (LLA) focuses on learning skills that are practical, fun and relevant instead of learning purely for the sake of getting a qualification. LLA courses are widely available throughout the community all over Hong Kong. Not only can you learn about design and the arts, music and coffee tasting, there are also courses on sports, pets, social media management and many, many more, all yours for the asking. Here is just a taster of what’s on offer.
HIGHLIGHT COURSES
Eco-Enzyme solution is produced by fermentation of kitchen waste such as fruit and vegetable peelings mixed with brown sugar and water. It is dark brown, has a strong sweet sour fermented scent and can be used as a fertilizer. Garbage Enzyme is a multipurpose liquid with several household applications. Introduced by Rosukon Poompanvong, winner of an FAO award for outstanding farming, the results have proved to be both financially profitable and, even more important, come at no expense to the environment.
Course content This course will teach you how to make and use your own Eco-Enzyme/ Garbage Enzyme, as well as dilute and store it for maximum shelf-life and soil enrichment. Target 18 year-olds and above
by David Schroeder flic.kr/p/cfn3xj
Making Eco-Enzyme/ Garbage Enzyme
Two consecutive programmes
Wednesdays 3 October to 24 October (4 lessons) Tuesdays 14 November to 5 December (4 lessons) Time
7.30pm to 9.30pm
Venue
HKFYG Jockey Club Cheung Wah Youth SPOT
Address Units 317-332, Cheung Lai House, Cheung Wah Estate, Fan Ling, NT, Hong Kong Fee
46
HK$950 (including materials)
Social Media Manager
by Sarah Nestheide flic.kr/p/ejifpY
Zentangle Workshop
This workshop teaches basic skills of drawing Zentangle and some popular and easy-to-draw patterns and will be enjoyed by people with a wide range of skills, interests and ages.
by Sandra Strait flic.kr/p/aStQxe
Zentangle was created by Rick Roberts and Maria Thomas in the US. It uses patterns such as lines and circles, most often in black pen on square white paper tiles. The tiles are usually small squares, measuring 3.5 inches (89 mm) and the patterns are miniature pieces of abstract, black and white art. Zentangles can be not only beautiful but are also fun and relaxing to create. They can incorporate typical symbols, designs and patterns from numerous cultures such as Chinese, Mayan, Maori, Celtic and American Indian.
Course content
l Use of tools l Use of dots and lines l Popular patterns l Coloured Zentagle Target
18 year-olds and above
Fridays 10 November to 1 December (4 lessons) Time
7.30pm to 9.30pm
Venue
HKFYG Tsuen Wan Youth SPOT
Address 2/F Commercial Complex, Clague Garden Estate, Hoi Shing Rd, Tsuen Wan, NT, Hong Kong Fee
Both well-known and startup companies mix social media with e-commerce to enable interaction with others through online communities. Social media marketing opportunities and sales can also help to enlarge target audiences and customer bases. Managing social media content is essential in this environment and includes promoting your brand name and business, telling customers about your goods and services, finding out what customers think and building stronger relationships with existing customers. However, getting started without previous experience can be challenging. Participants in this course will learn how to establish a social media promotion schedule, plan promotional events, brand products for social media and maintain good communications with clients.
Certificate course content
l Online social media and marketing l Promotion via online social platforms l Collecting and analyzing client data l Evaluation of promotions Target
18 year-olds and above
Tuesdays 7 November to 5 December (5 lessons) Time
7.30pm to 9.30pm
Venue
HKFYG Continuous Learning Centre
Address 21/F, Congregation House, 119 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong Fee
HK$1,180
Certificate of attendance Available to all participants with 75%+ attendance
HK$950
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HKFYG September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Laughter Yoga Workshop It is said that laughter is the best medicine and laughter yoga practitioners believe that voluntary laughter provides the same physiological and psychological benefits as spontaneous laughter. Also called Hasya Yoga, it is done by groups of participants who turn “fake laughter” into “real laughter” as a result of playing games and making eye contact while relaxing with simple stretching. It was made popular by Madan Kataria, an Indian physician. Laughter yoga is practised in 72 countries, including Hong Kong, with about 10,000 laughter clubs in India and 6,000 in the rest of the world.
Course content
Hip Hop and Jazz Funk Hip-hop refers to street dance primarily performed to hiphop music. It evolved in the 1970s as part of American hiphop culture and is wonderfully energetic and versatile. The genre includes a wide range of styles, including breaking, locking and popping. Jazz funk is a studio, choreographed version of its cousin, hip-hop. Loved by young women, its syncopated rhythms, intricate movements and powerful forms of selfexpression exude femininity. This programme is suitable for beginners in both styles and takes you through all the basic steps as well as offering a chance to perform.
l History of laughter yoga l Ice-breaking games l Practice and exercise l Relaxing the body and breathing exercise
Course content
Target 18 year-olds and above
Jazz funk
youtu.be/LATwGPgYx-k
Hip-hop
youtube.com/watch?v=zStxFi4aOlI
Target
14-24 year-olds
Two consecutive programmes
Saturdays 14 October & 21 October (2 lessons) Time
2pm to 4pm
Venue
HKFYG Continuous Learning Centre
Address 21/F, Congregation House, 119 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong Fee
HK$1,000
Discount Fee for two people: HK$1,800
l Intensive, precise movements to match the rhythm l Emphasis on coordination and flexibility l Choreography for a variety of styles and tempos Watch jazz funk and hip-hop in action
Two concurrent programmes
l Tuesdays 3 to 31 October (5 lessons: jazz funk) l Saturdays 7 to 28 October (4 lessons: hip-hop) Times
Tuesdays: 7pm to 8.30pm
Saturdays: 6pm to 7.30pm
Venue
HKFYG Jockey Club Hung Hom Youth SPOT
Address 3-5/F Ka Hing Lau, Ka Wai Chuen
48 Ma Tau Wei Road, Hung Hom, Kowloon, Hong Kong
Fees
Hip-hop programme: HK$280
Jazz funk programme: HK$350
Trial lesson: HK$70
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Career Coaching
Course providers include:
Career coaching
Career coaching helps workers increase efficiency, performance and creativity. Participants in this course find out about setting targets, developing team potential, solving problems and becoming career coaches themselves.
Certificate course content
l The meaning of “coaching” l Coaching skills and direction l Management, techniques and training l Listening to and appreciating others l Offering rewards and disincentives l Setting goals and making team action plans
l Community Team Sports Unit l Continuous Learning Centre l Creative Education Unit l HKFYG Jockey Club Social Innovation Centre l HKFYG Youth SPOTs l Leadership 21 l Leisure, Cultural & Sports Services l M21 Multimedia Services l Outdoor Training Camps & Activities Centres l Parenting Support Network l Youth Employment Network
Target Working adults Tuesdays 17 October to 21 November (6 sessions) Time
7.30pm to 9.30pm
Venue
21/F, Congregation House, 119 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong
Fee
HK$2,400
Living Life Academy Web lla.hkfyg.hk Address 21/F, Congregation House, 119 Leighton Road, Causeway Bay, Hong Kong Hotline Rex Chan 2130 4000 Email lla@hkfyg.org.hk Whatsapp 6990 3007 Facebook facebook.com/hkfyglla Find the brochure at all HKFYG centres and Youth SPOTs Register for courses online at lla.hkfyg.hk
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HKFYG September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Calling all sport and exercise lovers … … make miles NOW!
T
he Sports Mileage Scheme, supported by The Hong Kong Jockey Club Charities Trust, encourages everyone to take exercise and help the needy. No need to run! Just record every hour you take of your favourite form of exercise and it will be transformed into 20 Sports Mileage “miles.” Goal
A million “miles” a year with the Sports Mileage Scheme
Action
Register every hour you take of your own favourite exercise
Gain
20 Sports Mileage “miles” for each hour that you register
Result
Free 5-hour sports training course for an underprivileged teenager with every 1,000 “miles” of sports mileage you accumulate
Target
1,000 teenagers in need
Easy registration at cts.hkfyg.hk/sportsmileage/ • For fun, for health, for young people • Promote sport for all • Encourage everyone to take more exercise • Help the needy Redeem sports mileage for certificates and souvenirs
Don’t hesitate! JOIN US! Reach
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Feedback “Sport has always been a great part of my life. Now, it is even more meaningful!”
“Exercise in order to give a helping hand to others? Simple! That means a lot and I can do it at weekend with my children.”
a social entrepreneur “Great! I can even be a volunteer helping others while I’m chilling out in gym or coaching ice hockey!”
a young mother
“COOL! Helping the needy and staying in shape! Two birds with one stone!” an international student
a PE teacher “Count me in! My friends and I are all sports beasts! We definitely can contribute tons of mileage!”
“I love it! Whether we go swimming or play basketball , it’s all the same. Register an hour and it counts for twenty!”
a university student
a father of twins
your own personal milestone! Find out more about sports news, events and training Enroll now at cts.hkfyg.hk/sportsmileage/ Enquiries 3468 8059
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HKFYG September 2017 | Youth Hong Kong
Living Arts
Lifestyle, arts and creativity, music and dance, cooking and healthy eating
Knowledge Enrichment
Creativity and innovation, media and production, science and technology, finance and investment
Ability Enhancement
Languages, health and fitness, outdoor and adventures, personal growth
Career Development
Planning, leadership training, healthcare and medical industries, support and counselling
Publisher : The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups
香港青年協會
hkfyg.org.hk．m21.hk
Youth Hong Kong: 21/F, The Hong Kong Federation of Youth Groups Building, 21 Pak Fuk Road, North Point, Hong Kong Tel : 3755 7084．3755 7108．Fax : 3755 7155．Email : youthhongkong@hkfyg.org.hk．Website : youthhongkong.hkfyg.org.hk The title of this journal in Chinese is Xiang Gang Qing Nian 香 港 青 年
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