Easy Parenting Issue 47 (Feb/Mar 2019) by Zahra Media Group

Ireland’s No.1 pregnancy & baby magazine ISSUE

Feb/Mar 2019

Expert Advice Just For You

Soothe your baby’s sensitive skin

FO OD & DR IN KS TO AV OI D IN PR EG NA NC Y

Does your child have frequent colds? side n i y h w t u o Find Holidaying with a toddler: one mum’s advice HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX

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Tasty recipes, & crafts

Birth story & baby diary

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Real mums... real solutions

REAL LIFE:

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Part of the Family The benefits of a bedtime story • Breastfeeding tongue tie • Vitamin guide • Family food • Crafty fun

Expert Advice Just For You

Soothe your baby’s sensitive skin

Does your child have frequent colds? inside Find out why

HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX

REAL LIFE:

Birth story & baby diary

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Welcome

FOOD & DRINKS TO AVOID IN PREGNANCY

Holidaying with a toddler: one mum’s advice

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Feb / Mar 19 GROUP EDITOR Emma Parkin eparkin@zahramediagroup.com 01 287 8636 DIGITAL EDITOR Emily Elphinstone emily@zahramediagroup.com STAFF WRITER Elsje du Toit elsje@zahramediagroup.com HEAD OF SOCIAL Kate Gunn kgunn@zahramediagroup.com DESIGN Sarah Hamill and Rodrigo Maruso Image libraries Getty Images, Shutterstock ADVERTISING Sales Manager Regina Hinds rhinds@zahramediagroup.com 01 287 8633

Editor’s letter

o matter what stage of parenting you’re at, this issue has something for everyone. If you’re pregnant and looking for tips, then make sure to read our guide on which food and drinks to avoid while you’re expecting on p.30, and find out how to keep your immunity strong with the advice from p.33. Discover how to treat your baby’s sensitive skin on p.48, and be sure to read Geraldine Walsh’s recommendations on how to survive a holiday with toddlers in tow. Hill. Nina having fun on Killiney Has your child expressed an interest in becoming a YouTube star? Then make sure to read the expert advice on p.80 on how to monitor your child’s online activity and make sure it’s done safely on p.82. Laura Doyle shares the highlights of her daughter Milla’s past two months on p.58, while Arlene Harris finds out the best ways to help your child to become resilient, p.78. We hope you enjoy this issue; please tell us if you’d like us to cover any particular topics by emailing us at editor@easyparenting.ie.

ADMINISTRATION Production Consultant Val Citron valeriecitron@gmail.com Circulation Manager John Dempsey jdempsey@zahramediagroup.com

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All rights, including moral rights, reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing from the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published. While our recipes have been tested by experts, sometimes recipes don’t work properly due to mismeasuring and different cooker performance. We advise readers to measure ingredients carefully and time their own bakes. The views expressed in this magazine are not those of the publisher. It is recommended that you consult your GP before following any kind of health programme for you or your child. Articles and advertisements are for information only. They are not intended to replace medical care. Special thanks to all our guardian angels.

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BOARD OF DIRECTORS Managing Director Gina Miltiadou gmiltiadou@zahramediagroup.com Chief Executive John Mullins jmullins@zahramediagroup.com Published by: Zahra Media Group, 12 Prince of Wales Terrace, Quinsborough Road, Bray, Co Wicklow. ISSN 1649-8496. One year subscription to Easy Parenting is €20.00

Emma Parkin Editor

KATE GUNN

NICHOLA CURRAN

GILLIAN BURKE

ARLENE HARRIS

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Contents

In the kitchen

94 What’s for dinner? 96 Pancake perfection

Crafts & activities

100 Wiggly caterpillar 101 Cheery cherry blossom tree

February / March 2019

Regulars 06 Your Say

What you’ve been talking about

08 Parenting news Top tips and up-to-date news

11 Events calendar What’s on around the country

12 Fertility facts and fiction Separate facts from fiction with advice from Dr Bart Kuczera

Pregnancy 16 Birth story Sandra Thomas Jones shares the story of her son Leo’s birth

18 Maternity style Winter comfort, and style tips

21 Pregnancy health head to toe An all round health guide for when you’re expecting

24 Premature birth: the facts Essential information

27 10 Literature Baby Names Names inspired by books!

28 Help, I’m constipated What to do if you can’t go!

30 What not to eat

Foods and drinks to avoid in pregnancy

33 Natural immunity boosters Protect yourself from infections

Precious beginnings

40 When your baby self-weans from the breast How to keep breastfeeding going

44 Holidaying with toddlers Geraldine Walsh’s tried and tested tips

46 Bed time story benefits How this nightly routine helps your child

48 Sensitive baby skin TLC Top tips for baby skincare

52 A breath of fresh air How to refresh the air in your home

55 Non-screen time fun Tracey Quinn’s fun activity ideas for kids

58 Baby diary Laura Doyle updates us on her baby Milla’s development

60 Baby clothes Keep your little one cosy this winter

62 Recurrent winter bugs When your child has frequent colds

76 Good reads Parenting and lifestyle books

Family

78 Resilient kids Help your child to be resilient

80 Talking to kids about sex The importance of openness

82 Your child and YouTube Need to know info for parents

85 Vitamins guide Essential vitamins for kids

92 Parenting truths Mum-of-two Geraldine Walsh talks about how kids should come with a warning label

Just for you 66 Beauty The latest beauty products and tips

68 Body changes after birth 10 body changes to expect postnatally

70 Fashion Stand out in handsome prints

72 Feel good friends Why we all need positive pals

74 Rebuilding yourself Rediscovering and rebuilding yourself after separation

Meet our experts TRACY DONEGAN Midwife

Experts panel 104 Fitness 106 Nutrition and diet 107 Children’s development 108 Emotional health 110 Sex & relationships 111 Women’s health 112 Babies and sleep 113 Childcare 114 Ask the midwife

LUCY WOLFE Paediatric sleep consultant

````

CAROLINE O’CONNOR Dietitian

41 Kids’ books

Our pick of the best books for kids

42 Breastfeeding tongue tie The connection between tongue tie and breastfeeding. 4

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FIONA O’FARRELL Occupational therapist

MICHELLE CLEARY Midwife and lactation consultant

SELENE DALY Dermatology nurse

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y a s r You

Join our Facebook page and follow us on Twitter FACEBOOK

Email your feedback and thoughts to editor@easyparenting.ie

Connect with other parents, enter our competitions and share your pregnancy and parenting stories on our Facebook page: Facebook. com/easyparentingmag

Don't forget your teeth

The dental health in pregnancy was such an interesting article. I am 20 weeks pregnant and have been so vigilant at taking my supplements, going to antenatal appointments and trying to eat a balanced diet, but I never even thought about how it might affect my oral health! I did have bad morning sickness in the beginning but didn’t think that it might have an impact on my teeth. I will now make a conscious effort to go to the dentist and pay better attention to my dental health. Olga, Tipperary

Helping your anxious child

Thank you for publishing this expert advice on how to help your anxious child in the Dec/Jan issue! My nine-year-old daughter has been extremely stressed about going into school in the last few weeks and I had no idea what to do. This article really helped me realise that I need to collect myself and make sure I am able to help her emotionally. I have now come up with an action plan with the school to help her enjoy it again. It’s only early days but so far so good, so fingers crossed! Maire, Meath

TWITTER Follow us on Twitter for Easy Parenting news and updates: twitter.com/EasyParenting1

s Day Happy Mots.her er to all of our read ve a ha l We hope you al , ay nd lovely day on Su 31st March.

FIONA O’FARRELL Sleep expert and occupational therapist

Fun times!

Occupational therapist Fiona has worked in paediatrics for 20 years specialising in sleep issues and development. This expertise has enabled Fiona to develop a ‘Child-Centric Approach’ to your child’s sleep difficulties which involves 'No crying it out.’ Fiona is also mum to three young children. Services include:

The easy parenting team out and about with family. Emily and her husband Paul enjoying a trip to the seaside with her niece Lily

• Fiona offers 1-1 sleep consultations for parents with different packages available depending on your child’s needs.* • Talks for groups of parents • Corporate talks on improving your sleep • Talks to health care professionals • Fiona is also board director of Irish Neonatal Health Alliance and her other passion is the area of sensory processing on the developing brain and premature babies. Fiona regularly gives talks at conference and to health care professionals

Nina enjoying some finger print painting

• Fiona contributes to both national media and Virgin Media One and is expert baby sleep and development contributor to everymum.ie www.fionaofarrell.ie Tel: 087-9144323 * (Please see your medical insurance for how your cost for Occupational Therapy can be claimed back)

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Mom, Mama, Mum No matter what we are called, we are all doing our best.

Every mum knows the love, the exhaustion, the pride and the self doubt that goes with being a mum. And every mum needs to be reminded that she’s not alone. For over 18 years, eumom.ie has been doing just that. For expert advice, honesty and friendship, we are here for every mum and every stage. And although we’re getting a new name, we are still the same people doing our very best for every mum in Ireland.

To join the everymum community free text ‘Register’ to 50400

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31/08/2018 11:53 15/02/2019 05/12/2018 14:40 17:10

NEWS Use screen time as a reward? Think again If you’re giving your child an extra half hour or so on the iPad because he was well behaved, it might not be the best idea. According to a new study by the University of Guelph in Canada, children whose parents dole out screen time as a reward or revoke it as punishment, spend more time on a smartphone, tablet, computer or in front of the TV than children whose parents don’t. “It’s similar to how we shouldn’t use sugary treats as rewards because by doing so we can heighten the attraction to them,” said family relations and applied nutrition professor Jess Haines, who worked on the study with Lisa Tang. “When you give food as a reward it makes children like the carrot less and the cake more. Same thing with screen time.” The study, published in the journal BMC Obesity, involved 62 children between 18 months and five years and 68 parents. “We wanted to investigate the impact of parenting practices on toddler and preschooler’s screen time because this is the age when habits and routines become extablished and they tend to continue throughout life,” Tang said. “Also the use of mobile devices, such as tablets and smartphones, has soared in popularity among this age group in recent years.” According to the results, children spend on average nearly an hour and a half in front of a screen during weekdays and slightly more than two hours a day on weekends. Parents spend two hours a day on average in front of a screen during the week and just over two and a half hours a day on weekends. The amount of time children spent in front of a screen was influenced by a few things including whether parents use screen time as a reward. The study found that a majority of parents reported they use screen time as a way to control behaviour, especially on weekends. This led to children spending on average 20 minutes more a day on the weekend in front of a screen. “Watching screens takes away from other interactions that help children develop social and academic skills. Our hope is that these findings can help us arm parents who are entering a world where screens are ubiquitous,” Haines said.

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Fast fa

The pla ce nouris nta not only hes yo while h ur bab y e it also 's in the wo mb, protec ts b a c te r ia and him from infecti on.

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15/02/2019 15:54

News

Dad’s post-natal depression linked to his teenage daughter’s depression It might not be widely discussed, but men can also experience postnatal depression. But now a new study from the University of Cambridge has found that it is linked to emotional problems for their teenage daughters. Almost one in 20 new fathers suffered depression in the weeks after their child was born, a study published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry and co-authored by Professor Paul Ramchandani of the Faculty of Education, University of Cambridge, found. The research also identified a link between postnatal depression in men and depression in their daughters as they reached adulthood. At 18, girls whose fathers had experienced depression after their birth were themselves at greater risk of the condition, researchers found. This “small but significant” increased risk applied only to girls; boys weren’t affected. It is still unclear why only men’s daughters are affected. “It appears that depression in fathers is linked with an increased level of stress in the whole family, and that this might be one way in which offspring may be

affected,” Professor Ramchandani said. “Whilst many children will not be affected by parental depression in this way, the findings of this study highlight the importance of providing appropriate help to fathers, as well as mothers, who may experience depression.”

Did you know? A 2014 study published in Psychological Science found that fathers who were help with household chores had daughters who aspired for less traditional and higher paying careers.

Bottle feeding your baby is associated with left-handedness A recent study from the University of Washington says bottle feeding babies is associated with left-handedness. According to the study the prevalence of left-handedness is lower among breastfed babies compared to bottle-fed babies. “We think breastfeeding optimises the process the brain undergoes when solidifying handedness,” said Philippe Hujoel, the study’s author, a professor at the UW’s School of

easy parenting

EP47_08-10_News.indd 9

Dentistry and an adjunct professor of epidemiology at the School of Public Health. “That’s important because it provides an independent line of evidence that breastfeeding may need to last six to nine months.” However, the study does not imply that breastfeeding leads to right-handedness. “Handedness, whether it be right- or lefthanded, is set early in fetal life and is at least partially determined by genetics. The research

does shed light on when the region of the brain that controls handedness localises to one side of the brain, a process known as brain lateralisation. Possibly, the research shows, breastfeeding optimises this lateralisation towards becoming right- or lefthanded.”

15/02/2019 15:55

News

Babies laugh like chimps! One of the most beautiful sounds in the whole world for any parent is probably the sound of their little one laughing. Who can deny the cuteness of it? Recently a new study showed that a baby’s laugh differs from an adult’s laugh in a key way: Babies laugh as they both exhale and inhale, in a manner that is remarkably similar to nonhuman primates.

Easy ng i t n e r a P loves

The research is described by Disa Sauter, a psychologist and associate professor at the University of Amsterdam in the Netherlands, during a talk at the Acoustical Society of America’s 176th meeting last year. Along with her colleagues, Sauter studied laughter clips taken from 44 babies and children between the ages of three and 18 months. The researchers found that the youngest babies commonly laughed on both inhalation and exhalation – just like nonhuman primates like chimpanzees! In the older babies studied, however, laughter was primarily produced only on

FINNISH DESIGN FROM MUMS TO MUMS A new Finnish brand Lola&Lykke, founded by two mums, supports mums’ health and wellbeing with products specifically designed to make life after birth easier, and information about how to best look after yourself after having a baby. The idea for the brand came from personal experience; founders Kati and Laura both struggled to recover after childbirth and were surprised to find that at a time when

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you are both physically and mentally exhausted help was difficult to find. All the focus seemed to be on the baby and there was almost no talk about the mother's wellbeing. To Kati and Laura, this felt like a pretty big oversight, since a happy and healthy baby also requires a happy and healthy mummy. The first products launched by the brand include a sturdy but breathable Core Restore support band that helps repair abdominal separation and a unique Thermal Boob Tube that reduces breast engorgement and soreness while encouraging better milk flow. There is also a beautiful tailor-made gift box available

Did you kn

ow?

Just days a your breastfter conception, preparing s are already fo This may b r milk production. sensitive b e the cause of those reasts in e arly pregn ancy.

the exhale, as is the case in older children and adults. “Adult humans sometimes laugh on the inhale but the proportion is markedly different from that of infants’ and chimps’ laughs,” Sauter says. “Our results so far suggest that this is a gradual, rather than a sudden, shift.” She said that there is no accepted reason why humans, alone among primates, laugh only when they exhale. “One possibility is that it is a result of the vocal control humans develop as they learn to speak.”

that can be sent directly to the awesome mum in your life, via the website. The products are available for delivery across all European countries via the online store, and will become available in major retailers in Scandinavia, UK and Ireland in the course of this year. lolalykke.com CUDL ME Check out the new Cudl baby carrier which allows you to keep your newborn close or your toddler in backpack mode. With four carry positions, it features magnetic buckles to ensure easy yet secure attachment. Available from March 2019. The CUDL comes in frost, aspen, and caviar designs. www.nuna.eu/uk easy parenting

15/02/2019 15:54

Things to do

Events Calendar

St Patricks Festival, Dublin 15th to 19th March

This fantastic festival goes on for five whole days and is completely free. There is street music, free work shops and guided history walks in famous sites such as St Patricks Cathedral and the Guinness Storehouse. These is also spoken word performances, the world’s largest out door céili, singing workshops, film screenings and of course the Famous Dublin City St Patricks Day parade. stpatricksfestival.ie

Home of St Patrick Festival

Jawsome Sharks, Bray

16th February to 6th May Take a dive into the deep at Sea Life Bray this spring and become the newest recruit of the Jawsome Rangers and fulfil the mission of finding the missing shark teeth. Guests will be tasked with helping Professor Finn locate the large Play-Doh model shark teeth in the tanks and learn more about different shark species. www.visitsealife.com/bray/discover/jawsome-sharks/

9th to 17th March What better place to celebrate St Patrick’s day than in Armagh, the place St Patrick built one of his first churches. Enjoy numerous activities, music and paredes in this week long celebration! visitarmagh.com/festivals/ st-patricks/

Madagascar the Musical , Gaiety Theatre 26th to 31st March

First Cut Youth Film Festival, Cork

6th to 9th March This take s place at the Mall Arts Centre in Youghal, Co Cork. This festival is in its tenth year and offers workshops and talks by film industry professionals as well as presenting films in all genres by individual young film makers, schools and youth groups. It is an event not to be missed by budding film makers. firstcutfilmfestival.com easy parenting

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Join Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria as they bound out of the zoo and onto the stage in this live musical spectacular. This smash hit musical features all of your favourite crack-a-lackin’ friends as they escape from their home in New York’s Central Park Zoo and find themselves on an unexpected journey to the madcap world of King Julien’s Madagascar. This will leave you with no choice but to “Move it, Move it!” Visit www.gaietytheatre.ie/events/ madagascar-the-musical/ for more information. 11

15/02/2019 15:59

Fertility files

Fertility

Facts & Fiction

Separate fertility facts from fiction with this expert advice from Dr Bart Kuczera

id you know there are 48.5 million couples living with fertility issues and infertility worldwide? Luckily, there is help out for people who are struggling to conceive. Dr Bart Kuczera, a fertility expert with Beacon CARE Fertility in Dublin feels that it's something we need to be open about in Ireland: “Dealing with fertility issues can be very stressful and for many the experience of uncertainty can be profound. If you’re struggling, it’s important to realise that many other people are living with the same issues, and that help is at hand. Although infertility is a common problem affecting 12

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one in five in this country, there is a taboo, particularly in Ireland, around talking about it." Here, Dr Kuczera separates fact from fiction when it comes to trying for a baby:

Having sex two weeks before your period helps you to conceive FACT “If you have regular periods, there’s an 85% chance you’re releasing an egg, which happens roughly 14 days before the start of your next period. "If you have irregular periods, the day might be slightly different. "Look out for signs you might be ovulating such as cramping in your

abdomen, or a thinner discharge. Sperm lives for two days so aim to have sex regularly around your fertile time.”

You will get pregnant using a fertility app FICTION “Apps can cause more harm than good, and should be used with caution. "They can be misleading and an instant turn-off if you become too reliant on them – no two women are the same. If you’re going to check when you ovulate, use a decent kit. “They measure a hormone in your urine that can be produced only when you’ve released an egg. The more expensive ones are more reliable.” easy parenting

15/02/2019 15:59

Fertility files

woman’s vaginal secretions, which helps sperm travel better. "For men, having sex to order can reduce desire and the male’s ability to reproduce. If men have sex when they least expect it, they will perform better and produce better sperm.”

Some positions are better than others for conception FICTION

Orgasms increase chances of pregnancy FICTION

“There’s no research to prove which is the best position for conception. In terms of a woman’s anatomy, the missionary position isn’t the best way to help sperm reach the cervix. "While other positions may give sperm a helping hand, there’s no research to confirm this increases the chances of pregnancy.”

“There is no correlation between orgasm and conception. For men, an orgasm is essential but for women, there’s no link. "Some women might think they aren’t getting pregnant because they don’t reach orgasm but it’s not true. Lots of women don’t reach orgasm through intercourse but have babies.”

Being underweight or overweight affects fertility FACT

Cut alcohol if you’re trying for a baby FACT

“We spend more time sitting down than exercising and being overweight massively impacts on fertility because it causes hormonal imbalances and problems with ovulation. "Equally, if you’re underweight your body knows it’s not in a good place to reproduce so it could also stop ovulating. A BMI range of 20 to 25 is optimum for getting pregnant. Prepare by having a varied diet, regular exercise and a healthy weight.”

“Cutting down is advisable. Sometimes it’s difficult to relax if you’re trying to conceive, so chill out and drink within the recommended limit of 14 units per week. "Alcohol gets through to the testicles, and sperm need to swim a long way, so it helps if they’re sober.”

Elevate your legs after sex to get pregnant FICTION “Semen carries sperm to the cervix but once it’s in there, crossing or elevating your legs doesn’t increase your chances of conceiving. "After ejaculation, semen is no longer needed. Relaxation has nothing to do with reproduction either, so lying still after sex also makes no difference to conception.”

The best time to conceive is when you’re in the mood FACT “There’s some evidence suggesting that if you’re in the mood for sex, you’re more likely to get pregnant. Arousal changes a easy parenting

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During times of extreme stress, periods sometimes stop because it is your body’s way of saying this isn’t the right time to conceive. "It can take months to get pregnant, which is perfectly normal, so try to stay calm.”

Tight underpants cause lower sperm count FACT

Stopping smoking boosts fertility FACT

“Sperm are best produced in the cool, and a woman’s eggs like to be kept warm. That’s why ovaries are inside the body and testicles are outside. "The ideal temperature for sperm is 35°C, so if you want to maximise sperm count, wear loose boxers and take cool baths. There’s lots of evidence to suggest men who work outside have higher sperm counts than those with a desk job.”

“Carbon monoxide reduces the oxygen supply to a woman’s eggs and rots them. Women smokers do get pregnant but it’s likely they had higher fertility in the first place. "You’ll see an almost instant boost in fertility if you quit. Smoking cuts the blood flow to the uterus and lowers sperm count and its quality.”

You’re more likely to conceive when you stop stressing FACT “Stress has a negative effect on fertility. If you’re stressed because you don’t conceive straight away, sex becomes a duty. "Stress affects desire and if the desire isn’t there, you’ll have sex less regularly.

About Dr Bart Kuczera

Dr Bart Kuczera has worked in Ireland for many years as a senior medical consultant in fertility treatment. His special interests in infertility are premature ovarian aging, and psychosomatic fertility. www.beaconcarefertility.ie

15/02/2019 16:00

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Pregnancy

@ Mothercare

Essential information for all parents to be

In this section 16 Birth Story 18 Maternity style 21 Pregnancy health head to toe 24 Premature birth 27 Baby names you’ll love 28 Help, I’m constipated 30 Food and drinks to avoid during pregnancy 33 Natural immunity boosters

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My birth story Sandra Thomas Jones shares the story of her son Leo’s birth

would love to share my birth story because it wasn't what I expected! My due date was May 12th, my husband and I were due our first baby. On April 23rd, I had just started maternity leave and watched sky news all day waiting to see Kate Middleton appear with the newest royal arrival. My husband works two nights a week so on these nights, I stayed with my parents – five minutes from home ... just in case.

advised that I come in and get checked out. My husband drove me in and it was the calmest journey, I had imagined a frantic run to the hospital with pain but it was the opposite. I tried to retain my modesty as long as I could but the midwives wanted to check me soon after arriving, I hadn't shaved my legs, I was unprepared and embarrassed.

It’s started

I was 2cm dilated and sent to a ward to rest, my husband went home and then the pains started. I felt the pain in my legs the most, I couldn't sit, lie on the bed or stand ... all I could do was just kneel over the bed. The pains were actually manageable, but I was terrified about how much worse they could get.

That evening I had dinner with my parents and went for a short stroll with my mum around the block. I had cramps, like a stitch, similar to wind pain. I thought I ate too much, but once we made it back to the kitchen, my water broke – Hollywood style! I rang my husband and he flew home to pick up the hospital bag, I'm glad I was organised now as we were three weeks ahead of schedule.

Time to go to hospital It was 11.30pm and the hospital 16 1

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Pains getting worse

Into the labour suite I was checked again some hours later and I had dilated to 3cm, which is apparently great but I was exhausted. At 8am, I was admitted to a labour suite.

Time to get things started The midwife picked up straight away that I was tense. Being checked was an ordeal, I was nervous so the epidural was strongly recommended. It was wonderful, a huge relief. I got some oxytocin too and I didn't feel a thing. At 7.30pm, they told me it was time to push. I tried so hard but I was truly exhausted at this point, awake 24 hours in an intense environment, full of fear and excitement. I needed help but the vacuum didn't work. I had an episiotomy and a forceps delivery but I didn't feel a thing ... and our baby boy Leo was born at 8.32pm on April 24th. He was a little startled and needed antibiotics to prevent infection, so he spent his first few hours in the special baby unit after a quick cuddle. My husband ran down to take pictures of easy parenting

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Pregnancy

him and back up to show me over and over again.

Tea and cuddles At 11pm, I had tea and toast and at 2am, a midwife woke me and put my baby on my chest. It was the most amazing moment. The following days in the hospital were lovely, I enjoyed recouping and relaxing with my baby but I couldn't urinate so a catheter was reinserted for 24 hours. Common after a forceps delivery I now understand.

He's eight months old now and we are living in a love bubble, so it was worth every second. I hope I don't scare any mums-to-be with my story, it's just one of those things. It all worked out in the end but just a note, if you feel unwell, get yourself checked out. You are very important to your little one so look after yourselves.

S h a r e yo u r birth story!

Would you lik e to share your birth story with easy parentin g and our sister www.everymum .ie? Email editor@ easyparentin g.ie and tell us yo ur story.

Not feeling right After three days, I was able to go home and it was amazing. Although I didn't feel right, but I put it down to exhaustion. The next morning I woke early in my own bed, shivering, cold and feeling unwell. I couldn't move so I called and called for my husband to wake up, the baby was in the Moses basket beside me. My husband called my mum, she came straight over and told him to take me to A&E, I had a temperature so she suspected I might have an infection.

Septicemia I spent seven days away from my new baby, I had septicemia. It was bad, I was very sick. They got the cocktail of drugs right by day three and I started to feel better but the better I felt the more desperate I was to get home to my baby.

All is well now. The second homecoming was even more blissful than the first. My husband taught me how to feed the baby, how he liked to lie, all of the things that I had missed. It was truly amazing to be reunited with my little boy.

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Pregnancy

Don’t Sweat it

Whether you’re working out or curling up on the couch, these maternity wear options will keep cool and comfy

1 Emma Maternity Pants €75 @ Isabella Oliver 2 The Maternity Active Vest €79 @ Isabella Oliver 3 The Maternity Lounge Hoodie €95 @ Isabella Oliver

4 Outsole chunky trainer blush €18 @ Penneys 5 New Balance 247 - Grey Yellow €115 @ Littlewoods Ireland 6 Nike M2k Tekno €130 @ Littlewoods Ireland

7 2PK black legging €19.99 sd710 black crop mama top €25.99 @ Mothercare 8 Dark Wash Jean €32.99 @ Mothercare

9 Blk Crew Neck Tee €12.99 @ Mothercare 10 Maternity Grey Brushed Tie Joggers €26 @ Dorothy Perkins 18

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Pregnancy

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Pregnancy

Cool

c i h c d n a You don’t have to forgo your style when your bump starts to show – feast your eyes on this beautiful maternity clothing

1 Maternity Grey Stripe Nursing Dress €35 @ Dorothy Perkins

2 Maternity Multi Colour Stripe Skater Dress €52 @ Dorothy Perkins 3 Connie Dress €179 @ Isabella Oliver 4 Evie Tie Top €105 @ Isabella Oliver 5 Red maternity jeans €31 @ Next 6 Stripe maternity jumpsuit €39 @ Next 7 Natural large baby stuff shopper €19.50 @ Next 8 Maternity white button through shirt €25 @ Next

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Precious beginnings

Pregnancy health:

head to toe

Are you pregnant and wondering what you can do to keep yourself and baby as healthy as possible? This top to toe pregnancy health guide from Elsje du Toit will help to get you started

o you found out you’re expecting and the well wishes are streaming in from everywhere. Well, congratulations! It’s then when you realise you’re responsible for this tiny human growing inside of you: What you’re eating, it’s eating. What you’re doing, your little one’s doing. This might make you feel a bit anxious. But do not be worried. Here is everything you need to know and do to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy so that you can hold your perfectly healthy baby in your arms a few months from now.

Appointments and screenings

“Antenatal care is the care and help you receive from health professionals during the course of your pregnancy,” the HSE says. So what should you do if you find out you’re pregnant. “You should get in touch with your GP or midwife to get information on the services and support that are easy parenting

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available and to organise antenatal care.” According to the HSE this includes: • Antenatal appointments – Regular health appointments with your midwife or doctor to check your health and the development of your baby. • Antenatal screening – Tests that assess whether your unborn baby is at risk of certain conditions or abnormalities. • Antenatal classes – Classes and workshops that prepare you and your partner for the birth of your baby.

Exercise

Social media is swarmed with expecting mums sweating it out. Sometimes you might think to yourself that whatever they’re doing can’t be good for the baby. Although there are a few positions, movements and types of sports to avoid, it is a good idea to keep active during your pregnancy. “It will help you to adapt to your changing shape and weight gain and also help you to get back into shape after birth,” the HSE says. You can continue your normal fitness routine for as long as you feel comfortable. “However, you should not exhaust yourself and you may need to slow down as your pregnancy progresses. “If you were not active before your pregnancy, you should not suddenly take up a strenuous exercise programme.”

If you’re only starting exercise now, start with something easy that’ll make your heart race only a bit, like 15 minutes’ of continuous walking, three times a week. You can gradually increase it to a maximum of 30-minutes sessions, four times a week. Activities to avoid when you’re pregnant include: • Any contact sports, like kickboxing, judo or karate • Horse riding, downhill skiing, cycling and any other sport with a risk of falling. • Scuba diving, because the baby is not protected against decompression sickness and gas embolism • Exercise at heights over 2 500 metres if you’re not acclimatised, because of the risk of mountain sickness. • After 16 weeks, also avoid lying on your back, because your bump can press on big blood vessels and make you feel dizzy.

Avoid smoking, and drinking alcohol

During pregnancy, everything you put into your body, you put into your unborn baby’s body. So whenever you drink alcohol or smoke while pregnant, your tiny baby does the same. Women who are pregnant should avoid drinking alcohol. According to Alcohol Actoin Ireland, alcohol consumption can lead to disorders in how the brain develops 21

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Pregnancy

in the womb as the placenta does not act as a barrier to alcohol. There are no known health benefits from drinking alcohol during pregnancy. Smoking should also be avoided in pregnancy. Whenever you smoke, it restricts the essential axygen supply to your baby and increases the risk of it being born underweight or too early. These risks will be reduced if you stop smoking during pregnancy, (because) as soon as you stop smoking the carbon monoxide and chemicals clear from your body and your oxygen levels return to normal. You and your baby benefit immediately.

Diet

Now that you’re expecting, you need to include lots of nutrients in your diet to make sure your baby can grow and be healthy herself. Therefore you should make sure to include food from the four main groups. Take a look at the HSE food pyramid on the bottom right to get an idea of how much of the following food groups you need every day. • Carbohydrates (like bread, pasta, potatoes) • Fruit and veggies (at least five a day) • Protein (like meat, poultry, pulses and eggs) • Dairy (like milk, cheese and yoghurt) Also be sure to drink plenty of water and fruit juice as this can help to prevent constipation and nausea.

spine is developing. • Vitamin D – This helps keeping your bones strong and help with the development of your baby’s bones. According to the HSE this is especially important for women at risk of vitamin D deficiency, which includes anyone with a South Asian, African, Caribbean or Middle Eastern family origin, those who stay indoors a lot, those who usually cover up their skin when they go outdoors, or those with a diet particularly low in vitamin-D-rich foods (like oil-rich fish, eggs, meat and breakfast cereals).

Sex

It is safe to have sex during pregnancy. The HSE says, “it is normal for your sex drive to change through your pregnancy and you may want to talk to your partner about this.” There are however a few reasons why you shouldn't have sex, which include bleeding, preterm labour, if your waters have broken or sexually transmitted infections (you and your partner.) Although it’s safe, it may not be easy to have sex later on in your pregnancy. So you and your partner may have to find different positions that are more comfortable for you both.

Vaccinations

Pregnancy vaccinations are a simple and effective way of protecting you and your baby from serious diseases. All pregnant women need to get vaccinated against seasonal flu and whooping cough during each pregnancy. • Whooping cough vaccine – Women should get whooping cough vaccine during each pregnancy. The expecting mum’s immunity to whooping cough decreases during pregnancy and is unlikely to protect the baby. This vaccination is recommended between 16 and 36 weeks of pregnancy. • Flu vaccine – Getting vaccinated against seasonal flu is important because pregnant women are at increased risk for serious complications from the flu. This vaccination during pregnancy provides immunity against influenza infection to babies in the first six months of life. Visit immunisation.ie for up to date information about vaccines.

Go to page 30 to find out the foods and drinks you need to avoid during pregnancy.

It’s also wise to take a pregnancy supplement that’ll help you get enough of the following: • Folic acid – It can help to reduce the risk of problems developing with your baby’s spine and brain (neural tube defects), such as spina bifida. The Department of Health recommends that all women trying to get pregnant should take a daily folic acid supplement of 400 micrograms a day. This should continue for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy, while your baby’s 22

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Pregnancy

PREMATURE BIRTH: The Facts Elsje du Toit finds out all the essential information expectant parents need to know about premature births

fact, last year the Rotunda Hospital in Dublin revealed a 100% survival rate of premature babies born at 28 weeks. However, going into labour earlier than expected – especially if you have a high-risk pregnancy – is a very real possibility.

What does ‘preterm/premature birth’ mean?

he minute you find out you’re expecting can be quite overwhelming, but also very exciting. But it all can change in the blink of an eye when you’re suddenly faced with terms like ‘premature’ and ‘corrected age’. According to the Irish Neonatal Health Alliance (INHA) in Ireland 4,500 babies are born prematurely every year. That equates to one premature baby born every 116 minutes. Globally, one in 10 babies are born prematurely. This can be really scary and you might be filled with worry and doubt that you might lose your small baby if she’s born too early. Luckily, over the last two decades the survival rate of premature babies born earlier than 25 weeks has increased. In

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If your baby is born alive before the 37th week of your pregnancy is completed, it is considered a preterm or premature birth. According to the INHA, there are sub-categories of preterm birth, based on the gestational age: • Extremely preterm (anything earlier than 28 weeks) • Very preterm (between 28 and 32 weeks) • Moderate to late preterm (between 32 and 37 weeks)

What does ‘corrected age’ mean? Obviously your baby’s age will change when she’s born earlier than expected. But take in consideration that, although she’s not in the womb anymore, she’s still needs

to develop as if she’s inside. For example, if a baby was born at 30 weeks gestation, they would be considered to be 42 weeks old three months after the birth. But considered that the baby would have been in the womb the past three months, the corrected age would, therefore, be two weeks old. This is done so that the child will have realistic milestone goals. A baby should be smiling at around six weeks, but a baby born at 28 weeks will take a little longer to do so.

Causes of premature births/ babies When you’re pregnant, it’s very important for you to maintain a healthy lifestyle. If you’re obese, smoke, use drugs or drink alcohol during the pregnancy, it is more likely that you’ll give birth earlier than expected. Other factors include the age of the parents (younger than 18 and older than 35) or if you’ve waited until later in your life to have your first child. If the baby is a product of IVF treatment, you’re also at a higher risk of going into preterm labour. According to easy parenting

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Pregnancy

the INHA the following can also be causes of premature birth: • Infection • Preeclampsia • Gestational diabetes • Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes (pPROM) • Problems with the placenta, cervix, uterus, or baby’s development • Anti-Phospholipid Syndrome (an auto immune disorder) • A combination of medical conditions • If you had previous miscarriages or preterm births • Previous delivery of four or more children • High level of stress • Previous fertility treatment • Short time between pregnancies • If you’re severely ill • Vaginal bleeding

What about multiple babies? Yes. If you’re expecting more than one baby, it’s also likely that they’ll be born earlier. If you’re having twins, you can expect to go in labour between 34 and 37 weeks of your pregnancy; for triplets, most are delivered around the 34 week mark; quads are delivered at around 30 weeks gestation.

Assessing your risk of a premature birth It’s very important that you attend all your antenatal checks as these will keep your doctor/midwife informed about your baby’s health. It can also determine your risk of a premature birth. “If you are deemed to be at risk of a premature birth you may be offered additional tests that will help your medical team spot potential problems and agree a care plan for the remainder of your pregnancy,” the INHA says. The following are test that’ll be included: • Blood tests • Urine samples • Vaginal swabs easy parenting

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• Ultrasound scans – These can all determine the length of your cervix, the size of your womb and baby, the position of your baby, whether you’re expecting more than one baby, problems with your baby’s development, the size and position of the placenta and the amount of amniotic fluid. These factors can all be linked to premature delivery.

Will premature birth affect my baby’s development? It is possible that your little one might have some developmental issues after being born too early. But it’s also important to remember that it may also NOT have any affect on your child’s development. The earlier your baby’s born, the higher the risk is of developmental problems. Babies born at 24 weeks have the largest number of issues, including possible learning delays and difficulties all the way through to cerebral palsy. The further along you are in your pregnancy, the less the risks are. At 32 weeks most of the severe conditions are no longer a problem, but there still can be learning issues or the risk of development delays up until around 37 weeks.

Will I still be able to breastfeed my premature baby? Yes! Breast milk is extremely good for babies – especially premature babies – because of its immune benefits. After giving birth, you will be offered help to express milk. Once your baby can be fed with a tube down her nose into her stomach (premature babies are usually fed through a drip for the first part of life when they’re really little), the expressed breast milk will be given to her. As soon as your little one is big enough (usually 2.5kg) and doesn't need respiratory help anymore, the aim is to transition the baby onto your breast.

Where can I get support? Giving birth to a premature baby can be very traumatic for some mums. It's important to remember that you’re not the only one going through this. There are lots of people and organisations to support you and your family through this difficult time. • INHA – www.inha.ie • Irish Premature Babies – www.irishprematurebabies.com • Nurture – www.nurturecharity.org or 085 8619585

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Pregnancy

belly would tighten and then stop. It never lasted too long and was never constant. My doctor said it sounded like Braxton Hicks and it’s nothing to worry about. If they did become regular, I was to come straight back in.

Baby is coming

ghter, Alanna Alice Danielle Quinn and her dau n at 23 weeks and one Bor . ath tme Killucan, Co. Wes day of her pregnancy

n March 16th 2016 Alanna Alice, our little miracle, was born in Holles Street, Dublin. About six years ago I had a Iletz procedure (part of my cervix was removed) done. The doctor told me that if I ever get pregnant, I could go into labour up to three months early. Eventually when I did get pregnant, I told my medical team about it at my first appointment and to be safe they sent me to the Pre-Term Surveillance Clinic where I went for a checkup every four weeks. At my 21 week scan Alanna’s head was right down. A few days later I started to get pains. My 26

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The night of March 15th I had a really bad night and my husband, Alan, and I went to the hospital on the 16th. I was having more contractions that morning. We arrived at hospital around 13:30. As we were waiting to be seen, my contractions got closer, about every five minutes but they weren’t that bad. I’ll never forget the nurse asking me why I’m here in casualty and not in delivery. So I was brought straight up there. The midwife checked me and I wasn’t in labour as my cervix wasn’t thinning. I had scans done and everything was good. They started to give me steroids to help the baby’s lungs and after about half an hour everything changed. My contractions got worse and I was fully dilated. After rushing me to the delivery room, I delivered my baby girl at 20:26. She weighed 585g (1.29lbs) and her skin was transparent. She was incubated as she wasn’t breathing. We were told she wouldn’t survive the night. We were told that if she stopped breathing during the first week of her life, they wouldn’t intervene as that was her way of letting us know she couldn’t fight. That’s when we decided to get a priest to baptise her. We took it hour by hour, day by day. We were so scared and worried. It was horrible.

Many challenges There were many ups and downs. Alanna had a lot of procedures done when she was in NICU, including seven blood transfusions, one platelet transfusion, laser eye surgery at four months old (two weeks corrected age), a grade 2 bleed and swelling on the brain. She had trouble breathing and was on a ventilator and later C-PAP for several weeks. It

was a long road to get her off the oxygen. I tried to express breastmilk for her, but it was hard as my milk wasn’t meant to come this early. After a while it did come. I wasn’t getting much, but it was enough for her as she was only taking a ml of milk. I expressed for four months. She never latched on. After a week I could finally hold her. It was the most magical moment of my life! Alan didn’t hold her until she weighed 2lbs (900g) as he was nervous cause she was so small. Even when he finally did hold her, she was the size of his hand. After 116 days in NICU, Alanna came home with us – two days before her actual due date. It was so scary because we had no nurses, no beeping monitors, only us caring for her.

When she was one year (corrected age), she had an MRI done. If you were to go by that scan, Alanna shouldn’t be walking or talking. But she is walking, running and talking! She has defied all the odds and proved what a fighter she is. Anyone going through this should know they’re not alone. Talk to someone. Never hold it in. My friends and family were there to support me – my husband, Alan, was my rock. The medical staff in Holles Street was wonderful. They were, and still are, a big part of our lives. Alanna was our first. But we had another little girl in October 2018. I managed to hold her in until 37 weeks and one day. easy parenting

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Pregnancy

Literature Baby Names You'll Absolutely Love

Are you a literature fanatic who would love to pass your passion onto your little one? Here are some favourite baby names from classic literature Baby Boy Names

Baby Girl Names

1. Atticus From Harper Lee's classic To Kill A Mocking Bird. This book is a firm favourite with literature lovers, and what better role model to set for your son than the character Atticus, who stands up for those that society pushes aside.

1. Alice After Alice Walker, author of The Color Purple. This name means 'of the nobility', perfect for your little princess.

2. Julian A different take on the name Julius, of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. This name is a nice balance between not being too common but not too 'out there' either. 3. Luke This is the name of Offred's husband in The Handmaid's Tale. Even if you haven't read the book, you will probably be a fan of the hit television show. This name means 'light giving'. 4. Arthur After Arthur Golden, author of Memoirs of a Geisha. This name is slightly old timey but is definitely coming back into fashion. It can also be shortened into the adorable Art. 5. Oscar After our very own Oscar Wilde. This name is derived from Irish mythology, and also makes an adorable name for a little boy. easy parenting

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2. Adela This name is from E.M Forester's classic A Passage To India. It is a slightly more unusual variation of the name Adele, and means 'noble'. 3. Lydia This is after one of the sisters from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It is derived from Greek and means 'beautiful one'. 4. Scarlett This is the beautiful first name of Scarlett O' Hara, the protagonist in Gone With The Wind. It is derived from the shade of red with the same name. 5. Joyce You may not have read Ulysses, but you will definitely have heard of James Joyce, one of Ireland's most famous authors. The name Joyce works well as a first name, it means 'cheerful' and can be shortened to Joy.

Go to www.every mum.ie for more b aby name inspiration !

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Pregnancy

Help, I’m constipated!

Feeling sluggish and bloated on top of your ever growing bump? It’s normal to suffer from constipation during pregnancy, and luckily there are simple solutions to give you relief

eeling clogged up and unable to go to the toilet is so uncomfortable, and unfortunately it’s a condition that is highly common during pregnancy. Constipation can start quite early in pregnancy and for some women, it can continue right up until the ninth month. It’s caused by pregnancy hormones relaxing your bowels – making them slow down which means food remains in the digestive tract for longer. Your growing uterus is taking up much more room than usual, so your bowel has less room to operate as normal. Another reason for constipation in pregnancy is iron tablets, which are prescribed to many women for low iron. 28

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Symptoms of constipation You’ll feel unable to do a poo for a few days, or you might be passing hard pellet stools. You might have a feeling that you haven’t completely emptied your bowel. You might also feel bloated and uncomfortable. If you have severe constipation and have to strain to poo, this increases the likelihood of you developing piles (haemorrhoids). Remaining constipated can make piles worse, so the sooner you treat it, the better.

How can I ease constipation? Instead of reaching for your decaf coffee or tea each morning, make yourself a cup of warm water with a slice of lemon before you eat or drink anything. This can help to kickstart your system after you’ve woken up. Eat vegetables or fruit along with your three meals, and snack on fresh fruit such as oranges, grapefruits, mandarins and grapes. Top your cereal with some dried prunes. Eat vegetables that have a high water content such as celery, watercress, cabbage and spinach. Skip the white bread, and stock up on wholegrain cereals and wholemeal bread. Beans, lentils and pulses are really effective at keeping you regular. Make a chickpea salad for lunch, have baked beans on toast

or make a pot of lentil soup. Sprinkle linseeds on your cereals, salads, or yoghurts. Linseeds are rich in fibre and essential fatty acids. You need to drink plenty of water and don’t eat more than a dessertspoon in a day, too many can cause diarrhea.

How can I prevent constipation? Eat a high-fibre diet that includes plenty of wholegrain cereals, high-fibre bread and fruit and vegetables. Drink 1.5 litres of water every day, this will help flush food out of your system. While bran is a great form of fibre, remember that unless you drink plenty of water, it will just bulk up your poo making it more difficult to pass through your digestive system. Staying active helps to prevent constipation. Gentle walks, swimming, or any pregnancy safe exercise will help to stimulate the bowel to get things moving.

Squatting helps When you need to use the toilet, give yourself time and try to relax. Breathe deeply as you sit on the toilet, and while you are sitting put your feet on to your tiptoes to lift your knees above your hips. You could also try using a foot stool to raise up your feet. easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

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Pregnancy

Foods and drinks to avoid during pregnancy

Louise Porter tells us what foods and drinks you should avoid during pregnancy. The good news is you only need to avoid them for nine months!

hen you are pregnant, you are essentially keeping another human alive with your body. So it is really important that you have a balanced diet during pregnancy. While a balanced and healthy diet usually consists of “everything in moderation”, there are some foods and drinks that you shouldn’t have or should limit during pregnancy.

Unpasteurised milks and yoghurts Milk and yoghurt are important to eat during pregnancy as they are a great source of calcium, however it is important 30

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to stick to pasteurised or ultra-heat treated milk. If milk is unpasteurised, it is often called raw milk. This must carry a warning stating that it has not been pasteurised and may contain bacteria.

Soft cheese Mould ripened soft cheeses and soft blue cheeses are unsafe to eat during pregnancy. It is recommended to avoid these cheeses in pregnancy as they are less acidic than hard cheese and have much more moisture so they are a perfect environment for harmful bacteria, such as listeria, to grow, which is harmful to your baby.

Examples of unsafe cheeses are: • Brie • Camembert • Chevre • Danish blue • Gorgonzola • Roquefort Examples of safe cheeses are: • All hard cheese • Cottage cheese • Cream cheese • Ricotta • Halloumi • Processed cheeses

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15/02/2019 16:09

Pregnancy

Undercooked/raw eggs You should avoid raw or undercooked eggs as consuming them puts you at risk of salmonella. This includes soft boiled/fried eggs, homemade mousses, soufflés and mayonnaise. This also includes non-hen eggs such as goose, duck and quail eggs.

Fish While eating fish is recommended during pregnancy as it has essential vitamins and omega 3’s, fish high in mercury should be avoided as too much mercury during pregnancy is dangerous and could affect your baby’s developing nervous system. Kinds of fish to avoid include shark, swordfish and marlin. Tuna also contains a higher level of mercury than other fish so it should be limited to two tuna steaks or four medium sized cans per week.

Unwashed fruit/ vegetables

pregnancy. This includes meat that you would often eat rare such as steak and lamb. When preparing and cooking meat you should be extra careful to wash your hands and all surfaces and utensils that the raw meat has come into contact with. With raw meat there is a risk of toxoplasmosis which is harmful to your baby.

Cold cured meat Meats found at the deli counter such as salami, prosciutto, chorizo and pepperoni should be avoided during pregnancy. This is because these meats are not cooked, they are just cured or fermented so they may contain toxoplasmosis – causing parisites. Pre-packaged meats such as ham, turkey and corned beef are considered safe during pregnancy.

Liver

Make sure to wash all fruits and vegetables before eating them as they are a risk of toxoplasmosis. This includes prepackaged salads.

Liver or products containing liver should be avoided during pregnancy as they may contain a lot of vitamin A. Excess vitamin A can be harmful to your baby during pregnancy.

Shellfish

Alcohol

All shellfish eaten in pregnancy should be cooked first. This includes prawns, mussels, lobster, crab, scallops and oysters. Frozen pre-cooked prawns are fine to eat.

Alcohol of all kinds should be strictly avoided during pregnancy.

Pâté All kinds of pâté should be avoided during pregnancy as they can contain listeria. This also includes vegetable paté.

Raw or partially cooked meat All kinds of raw or partially cooked meat should be avoided during easy parenting

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Caffeine Caffeine should be limited to 200mg a day. Caffeine is contained in various foods and drinks. The approximate amount of caffeine in certain foods and drinks is: • One mug of instant coffee – 100mg • One mug of filter coffee – 140mg • One mug of tea – 75mg • 250ml can of energy drink – 80mg • 330ml can of cola – 40mg

What is toxoplasmosis? Toxoplasmosis is an infection that can be passed from parasites found in cat poo, soil and raw meat. Toxoplasmosis is not usually harmful but can be dangerous to pregnant women. It often has no symptoms, but when symptoms do appear they are flu like. These include: • High temperature • Aching muscles • Fatigue • Feeling sick • Swollen glands Toxoplasmosis is rare but if you are worried you have been exposed to it consult your GP.

What is listeria? Listeria is a bacteria found in a variety of foods mentioned above. Infection with the listeria bacteria can cause listeriosis. Listeriosis is generally not very harmful and will be gone in a few days. However pregnant women are more at risk of catching listeriosis. According to the HSE pregnant women are almost 20 times as likely to develop listeriosis than the rest of the population. While listeriosis is not usually harmful to the mother, it can cause pregnancy and birth complications and can sometimes cause miscarriage. If you are worried you have listeriosis consult your GP.

Why do pregnant women need to avoid Vitamin A? Too much vitamin A is not recommended in pregnancy. It is important to avoid all supplements that are not approved for pregnancy. Check with your doctor or midwife. Liver and liver products should also be avoided.

15/02/2019 16:09

#Imeverymum

The campaign helping every mum share the real joys and challenges of motherhood

very woman, bump, birth, baby and every mum is completely unique. Every mum has her own set of ups and downs, of insane joys and anxious defeats. Every mum is nailing it, winging it, doubting it and giving all she has while trying not to lose all that she is. And while our expectations for motherhood can be unbearably high, there comes a point for all women when she realises that she is no longer in control, that her body is going to do what it’s going to do, that her emotional health has no bearing on her deep love, that her precious baby will find its own rhyme and rhythm, and that life as a mum is rarely how she imagined. But when things aren’t going to plan, when you’re not feeling the rush of love or when you wonder if you have what it takes to keep going, we all too often blame ourselves, assume that we’re not good enough and that ultimately we’re doing something wrong. So instead of asking for help, we say nothing. Pretend that it’s all okay, terrified of judgement, terrified that our deepest fears will be confirmed to us. 32

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Let's share our stories In a recent nationwide study conducted by everymum, 50% of mums admitted that motherhood was not what they expected, why – because it’s more challenging emotionally. Women across Ireland opened up revealing that although happier since becoming mums the vast majority experienced fatigue, feeling overwhelmed, self-doubt, anxiety and loneliness. So if the majority of mums are feeling these things – why are we still so reluctant to talk about them, to share our experiences and ultimately to realise that although as mums we can often feel alone, in reality, we are all feeling the same.

#imeverymum To help give real mums a platform to share their story, everymum has launched #Imeverymum where real stories from real mums are published on everymum.ie and across Facebook + Instagram. #Imeverymum gives women a voice to express their truth, to help mums who have experienced similar challenges know that they are not alone, and to build a community where the realities of motherhood are celebrated.

Want to share your story?

Email hello@everymum.ie if you’d like to share you story on everymum.ie

Connecting, supporting, and celebrating Meet some of the mums who have shared their stories: Aoife Bermingham, shares her glory and sorrow as a mum surviving the loss of baby Oisin. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and for many like mum of three Kate Gunn sometimes you might find yourself alone at the helm.

You are not alone #Imeverymum proves that sometimes in life, things don’t always work out as you had planned. That life will deal you unimaginable pain and incredible love. And that with each challenge faced mums become more resilient, more capable and more connected – because whatever you are going through there are others who are going through it too. Remind yourself that you’re not alone, and visit everymum.ie/my-life/imeverymum to read the powerful honest articles written by every mum. easy parenting

15/02/2019 14:42

Strengthen your defences A strong immune system can help you to fight off infections. Louise Porter finds out how to keep your immune system strong throughout pregnancy

eing pregnant during the colder months can be a bit more challenging than if you were expecting in the summer. This is because your immune system is slightly suppressed during pregnancy, which makes you more susceptible to picking up common winter bugs. Thankfully however there are ways to boost your immune system to keep both you and your baby healthy.

The place to start is your diet: Vitamin C Vitamin C is essential to build up the immune system. It helps protect cells and keeps them healthy. It is also necessary for the maintenance of healthy connective tissue which gives support and structure for other tissue and organs. Adults need around 40mg of vitamin C per day. Vitamin C cannot be stored in the body as it is a water soluble vitamin, so you easy parenting

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need to make sure you are getting it each day. You can take supplements if you wish but it is completely possible to get enough vitamin C from diet alone. Some excellent sources are: • Oranges • Kiwis • Spinach • Peppers • Brocolli • Sweet potatoes • Lemons • Pomegranates Garlic Studies have shown that garlic has a whole host of health benefits, and it tastes great too. It’s the perfect ingredient when you want to add a burst of flavour to meals and give yourself a health boost too. It is an anti-inflammatory which can help treat and improve symptoms of a cold, and

contains antioxidants which helps fight infection in the body. Raw garlic is also a natural antiseptic which can help treat mouth ulcers and other symptoms of a low immune system. Ginger Similar to garlic, ginger is a common ingredient that has massive health benefits and is so simple to include in your diet. Ginger is antibacterial (meaning it helps fight off illness) and anti-inflammatory (which means it helps relieve symptoms of a cold like a sore throat or blocked nose). It also tastes delicious added to foods or drinks which is an added bonus. Live natural yoghurt Live yoghurt is so healthy and so versatile; it can be mixed with fruit and granola for a protein rich breakfast or it can be used in pasta dishes and curries to give a creamy texture without the added fat and calories. 33

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Pregnancy

Live natural yoghurt contains good bacteria that are essential for gut flora which supports the digestive system and helps boost the immune system. Almonds Almonds are a delicious addition to breakfast or a handy on-the-go, healthy snack. But almonds are also a great source of fibre and protein as well as containing multiple immune boosting vitamins including zinc, vitamin E, calcium, selenium and B vitamins. They are also quite high in good fats and calories so adding them to your breakfast yoghurt or just popping a small bag in your bag to snack on can prevent your blood sugar from spiking, keeping you fuller for longer. Reduce sugar Sugar is known to have a negative impact on our overall health but studies suggest that too much sugar can also affect our immune system. Research has shown that it can feed the bad bacteria in our guts which impacts negatively on our immune system.

Vaccinations in pregnancy are essential Vaccinations are a simple and effective way to protect you and your growing baby from serious diseases. During pregnancy, vaccinated mothers pass antibodies to their babies. So when you get vaccines in pregnancy, you aren’t just protecting yourself you are giving your baby protection too. This immunity helps protect the baby during the first few months of life when they are too young to be fully vaccinated. All pregnant women need to get vaccinated against seasonal flu and whooping cough during each pregnancy. To find out more about vaccinations, visit www.immunisation.ie

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Drink plenty of water Drinking lots of water during pregnancy will help your body to flush out toxins, aid digestion and help the body to absorb essential nutrients from the food you eat. Drinking enough water also dilutes the urine, decreasing the risk of urinary infections. Try to drink around six to eight glass of water every day. Start your day with a mug of hot water and fresh lemon.

Look at your lifestyle: Some positive lifestyle changes that you can make to boost your immune system include: Get moving We all know exercise is good for us. It stabilises our weight, helps protect against cardiovascular disease and can help improve our mental health. But it can also contribute to a healthy immune system. Regular moderate exercise contributes to improving your overall general health making your body better able to fight infections. Even if you just manage to go for a 20 minute walk around the block five days a week can drastically reduce your risk of catching a cold. You’ll feel better too! Another benefit of exercise that'll give you a mental boost – hormones called endorphins which your body releases when you exercise will lift your spirits. Regular exercise also helps to ease backache, leg cramp, constipation, and breathlessness. Get enough sleep Getting enough good quality sleep is important to help your body fight off viruses such as colds and flu, and to help you recover faster when you do become sick. During sleep, your immune system releases proteins called cytokines which are important for regulating immune responses. If you're struggling to sleep at night because of the need to get up to go to the toilet, or because of a painful back or pelvis, try to grab small catnaps during the day if you can. Take your time with everything and make sure that you get enough rest.

Laugh They say laughter is the best medicine, but it might also be a good immune system booster. According a study by the Loma Linda University School of Medicine, California, it strengthens the T-cells, which help fight infection in the body. Meet up with friends, watch a comedy and have a giggle. Wash your hands While there is such thing as being too clean, and we do need to be exposed to a certain amount of bacteria to strengthen our immune systems, regularly washing your hands is good for the immune system. Your hands come into contact with so many germs daily so washing them regularly, especially when you have been in an environment with a lot of people, can help protect you from colds and flu.

How to correctly wash your hands According to Safefood, people don’t wash their hands thoroughly enough. They say that people often only rinse their hands under the tap which is inadequate in eliminating germs and people often don’t dry their hands which helps germs to breed. Here is a step by step guide on how to properly wash your hands: 1 Wet your hands thoroughly under warm water and apply soap to them. 2 Rub your hands together to make a lather and spread it over your entire hands and wrists. Make sure to cover palms, backs, wrists, fingernails and fingers well, it is this action that helps the soap dislodge and remove dirt and germs. 3 Rinse the soap off under clean running water. 4 Dry your hands well, using a clean hand towel or hand dryer, not a tea towel or your clothes.

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15/02/2019 16:10

FLU VACCINE INFORMATION FOR PREGNANT WOMEN

BE SURE. BE SAFE. VACCINATE. Now that you are pregnant it is important that you protect yourself and your baby from influenza (flu). Vaccination is the only way to protect you and your baby from flu and its complications. Why do pregnant women need to get seasonal flu vaccine? Seasonal flu is a highly infectious viral illness of the respiratory tract that can be life threatening for those in at risk groups including pregnant women. Pregnant women need to get seasonal flu vaccine as they are at higher risk of serious complications from flu. Flu vaccine protects pregnant women during pregnancy and provides ongoing protection to their newborn baby during the first few months of life. THE VACCINE CAN BE GIVEN AT ANY STAGE OF PREGNANCY. What is the seasonal (annual) flu vaccine? Each year the seasonal (annual) flu vaccine contains three common flu virus strains. The flu virus changes each year this is why a new flu vaccine has to be given each year. How does seasonal flu vaccine work? Seasonal flu vaccine helps your immune system to produce antibodies to the flu virus. When someone who has been vaccinated comes into contact with the virus these antibodies attack the virus. Is it safe for pregnant women to be vaccinated? Yes. The vaccine is safe for pregnant women. Seasonal flu vaccines have been given for more than 60 years. Reactions are generally mild and serious side effects are very rare. Seasonal flu vaccine has been recommended for several years for all pregnant women in the USA. Will my baby be protected if I am vaccinated? Yes. Vaccination during pregnancy will protect your baby and also helps prevent you getting flu and passing it on to your baby. Who should NOT get seasonal flu vaccine? The vaccine should not be given to those with a history of severe allergic (anaphylaxis) reaction to a previous dose of the vaccine or any of its constituents. What about pregnant women with egg allergy? Pregnant women with egg allergy can get seasonal flu vaccine. This may be given by your GP or you may need referral to a hospital specialist. When should vaccination be postponed? There are very few reasons why vaccination should be postponed. Vaccination should be re-scheduled if you have an acute illness with a temperature greater than 38°C.

FLU IS ONE THING YOU DON’T WANT TO SHARE WITH YOUR BABY. Can the flu vaccine give me the flu? No. The flu vaccine cannot give you the flu because it does not contain any live viruses. How long does it take the vaccine to work? The vaccine starts to work within two weeks. What can I expect after vaccination? The most common side effects will be mild and may include soreness, redness or swelling where the injection was given. Headache, fever, aches and tiredness may occur. Some people may have mild sweating and shivering as their immune system responds to the vaccine, but this is not flu and will pass after a day or so. What if I don’t feel well after vaccination? If you have a temperature after the vaccine, take paracetamol, as it is safe in pregnancy, and it’s important for you and your baby to avoid fever. Do not take ibuprofen or aspirin (unless advised by your obstetrician). Remember if you are unwell after getting a vaccine, it could be for some other reasons - don’t assume it’s the flu vaccine and seek medical advice if needed. When should I get the flu vaccine? You should get the flu vaccine as early as possible in your pregnancy. The flu season usually occurs between September and April so if you become pregnant during this time you should get the vaccine. How do I get vaccinated? Flu vaccination is available from your GP or Pharmacist. If you have a ‘Medical Card’ or ‘Doctor Only Card’ the vaccine and consultation are free. If you do not have a ‘Medical Card’ or ‘Doctor Only Card’ you will be charged a consultation fee for seasonal flu vaccine.

PLEASE MAKE ANAN APPOINTMENT NOW. FOR MORE PLEASE MAKE APPOINTMENT NOW. FOR MORE INFORMATION VISIT WWW.HSE.IE/FLU INFORMATION VISIT WWW.IMMUNISATION.IE 35

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15/02/2019 05/02/2019 12:08 08/02/2018 04/09/2018 15:26 10:47 13/10/2017 14:43 11:09

Whatis iswhooping whoopingcough cough What (pertussis)? (pertussis)?

Whooping cough as Whooping cough (also(also knownknown as pertussis) pertussis) is a highly contagious is a highly contagious illness that can be life illness thatThe candisease be life threatening. threatening. is most serious in The disease most serious in babies less than 6ismonths of age – many babies than 6with months of age – babies areless hospitalised complications many babies are hospitalised such as pneumonia and brain damage.with complications such as Babies less than 6 months of pneumonia age are too and brain damage. Babies less young to be fully vaccinated.

than 6 months of age are too young to be fully vaccinated.

Whooping Cough Vaccine Whooping Cough for Pregnant Vaccine forWomen Pregnant

Women

What are the symptoms of whooping cough?

Whooping cough causes long bouts of What are the symptoms coughing and choking making it hard of to whooping cough? breathe. The ‘whoop’ sound is caused by Whooping cough causes longspells. boutsA gasping for air between coughing of coughing and choking making it child with whooping cough may turn blue hardlack to breathe. ‘whoop’ sound from of air, orThe vomit after a coughing is caused gasping between spell. Not allby children getfor theair ‘whoop’ and coughing spells. Aand child withjust whooping often older children adults have a coughThe maydisease turn blue from of air, cough. can last up lack to 3 months. or vomitwith afterwhooping a coughing spell. Infection cough doesNot not all children getprotection the ‘whoop’ and often give long lasting so re-infections older children and adults just have a can happen.

cough. The disease can last up to three

months. Infection with whooping cough How does whooping cough does not give long lasting protection so spread?

re-infections canishappen. Whooping cough spread from person to person by coughing, sneezing or close How does whooping cough contact. Someone with whooping cough spread? can spread the disease for up to 3 weeks Whooping is spread from after the startcough of the cough. Many babies person to person by coughing,

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with whooping cough can spread How can whooping cough the disease for up to three weeks be prevented?

The vaccine stimulates your immune system to produce high levels of antibodies to the whooping cough bacteria. These All children get vaccines antibodies willshould also pass to these your baby in onwomb time to protect babies the and protectthem themand during the fi too young to be vaccinated. rst few months of life. It is now known that babies whose mothers got the whooping Howvaccine doesduring the pregnancy whooping cough are much cough protect you less likely tovaccine get whooping cough during and the firstyour monthsbaby? of life.

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who get whooping cough have been in contact with family members who have had a cough for longer than 2 weeks.

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protect them during the few Yes. It is very important that first you get months ofinlife. If you orThe your babyyou are vaccinated pregnancy. vaccine in contact with the have while you arewhooping pregnant iscough to protect antibodies your baby. will attack these bacteria

and will protect you and your baby from whooping cough. The antibodies you pass to your baby in the womb decline rapidly in the first six months of easy parenting

13/10/2017 14:43 11:07 15/02/2019 05/12/2018 17:24

EP39 EP46

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easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

@ Mothercare

Advice and tips from birth to four years

In this section 40 Weaning your baby of the breast 41 Kids’ books 42 Breastfeeding tongue tie 44 Holidaying with toddlers 46 The benefits of a bedtime story 48 Treating sensitive baby skin 52 Tips to detox your home 55 Non-screen time ideas 58 Baby diary 60 Baby clothes 62 Recurrent winter bugs easy parenting

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15/02/2019 15:49

Pregnancy

When your baby self-weans It’s natural to feel sad when your baby starts to self-wean off the breast. Mother-of-four Laura Doyle shares some advice for mothers who would like to continue breastfeeding

elf-weaning usually occurs when a baby, who in most cases is well over a year old, gets most of their nutrition from solids, drinks from a cup, and cuts down on breastfeeding gradually. It normally happens when a little one no longer has any emotional or nutritional requirement for breast milk.

A decrease in milk supply

Sometimes, mothers mistakenly believe that their baby’s lack of interest in breastfeeding is due to self-weaning. This lack of interest can be as a result of a lack of milk being produced. If a mum’s milk supply is depleted then baby may grow to prefer cup or bottle feeding as they begin to realise that they can get more milk this way. A vicious cycle really, as your baby starts to prefer the bottle or cup and looks less for your breast, which in turn causes your body to produce less milk. Your child can become frustrated and stop breastfeeding if there is a drop in the amount of milk that you're making. There are a lot of things that can cause a decreased milk supply including reduced feeds, rapid weight loss in the mother, and use of medications (such as contraceptives). Your period returning or a new pregnancy are also other factors that can cause a decrease in your supply. But know that there are an abundance of things, you as a mother can do to increase your breastmilk supply. Talk to your doctor, a local breastfeeding group, or a lactation consultant for help.

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Developmental Leap

Another possible reason for a lack of interest in breastfeeding can be a developmental phase. It is quite common for an infant between six and 12 months to show less interest in breastfeeding. This is not caused by the infant’s desire to self-wean. Older babies tend to be easily distracted and many mothers mistakenly believe this to be their baby’s desire to self-wean. If you are feeding your baby from a cup or a bottle they will discover that they can feed and explore at the same time while breastfeeding requires them to sit still. Again, mums may take this as a cue that their little one is ready to self-wean.

Teething

Teething pain can make a child uncomfortable and not want to breastfeed. You can try to relieve teething pain by giving your little one something to chew on or massaging her gums before you begin to breastfeed. Many mums don’t consider this lack of interest in breastfeeding to be temporary and go ahead and self-wean. This is not necessarily a bad thing but mums should know that weaning their babies during this stage may not be self-weaning and is in fact their own decision. Mothers need to be aware of the reasons an older baby might show a sudden lack of interest in breastfeeding so they can make a more informed decision about weaning.

Tips To Help You Continue Breastfeeding

There are things you can do to avoid premature weaning such as: • Always offer breast milk first before feeding any solids. If she's hungry or thirsty, she may be more willing to breastfeed. • Limit bottles and soothers. • Don’t let baby walk around with bottles or cups. • Offer to breastfeed your baby often. • Try wearing a breastfeeding necklace to keep your baby interested while breastfeeding or give baby a small toy while on the breast. • If your baby is refusing to breastfeed, try pumping. This can help to increase and maintain your supply. • Try to be patient and remember that this is just a normal developmental stage that some children go through.

If this is the end of your breastfeeding journey

Go easy on yourself, both mentally and physically. If your baby has self-weaned gradually you’re half way there. If not, try and breastfeed or pump and gradually cut out a feed one by one to prevent sore breasts and the possibility of mastitis. On an emotional level – the chemical 'come down' when you stop breastfeeding is no joke. The drop in oxytocin can leave you feeling vulnerable, down and even upset. Go easy on yourself, mama and take it one day at a time.

easy parenting

15/02/2019 16:11

Precious beginnings

Kids’ Books

Reading to your kids from an early age can encourage them to become lifelong readers – here’s our pick of some of the best reads for kids Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species Retold and illustrated by Sabina Radeva (Penguin Random House) Age: 6 to 100 The first ever picture-book retelling of Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species, Sabina’s new accessible picture book brings evolution to the younger generation through stylish illustrations and a simple, easy-tounderstand text. Utilising her unique skills as both scientist and artist, Sabina’s book is simultaneously educational and beautiful – and perfectly pitched for children. RRP: €15.99

Amazing Women Sticker Scenes Illustrated by Isable Munoz (Egmont Publishing) Age: 5+ Celebrate International Women’s Day with this interactive sticker scene book all about the amazing women who changed the world. Add stickers to each scene to discover the inspirational stories behind these incredible women, featuring an inclusive selection of empowering women include Malala Yousafzai, Michelle Obama, Emmeline Pankhurst, Jane Goodall and many more. RRP: €6.82

The Secret Seven Mystery of the Theatre Ghosts by Pamela Butchart (Hodder Children's Books) Age: 16+ A second, action-packed Secret Seven adventure by prize-winning author Pamela Butchart, brilliantly illustrated by Tony Ross. The Secret Seven are excited to be chosen as extras in a local play, but during the opening performances things go seriously wrong. Could someone be trying to sabotage? The cast and crew are adamant that a theatre ghost must be causing the mysterious accidents, but the Seven aren't convinced. RRP: €8.99

Charlie Changes Into A Chicken by Sam Copeland (Penguin Random House) Age: 8+ Charlie McGuffin is an optimist, but things are conspiring against him. He’s worried about his brother (who’s in hospital), his parents (who are panicking) and the school bully (who has Charlie in his sights). The thing is, Charlie’s never really been stressed before – not properly, sweatily, heartpumpingly stressed – and now he’s starting to panic. He just learnt that when he gets like this, he turns into an animal, all sorts of animals! He needs to find a way to deal with his crazy new power. RRP: €8.99

The World Book Day Monster By Adam and Charlotte Guillian (Egmont Publishing) Age: 3+ Anna can’t decide what to dress up as, but her dad knows just what to do to help… He takes Anna to a bookshop where a friendly bookseller helps her to pick out the perfect book for her. Now she knows exactly what to dress up as. But when she goes to school in her monster costume, no-one knows what character Anna is supposed to be and she wishes she could share her favourite book with her classmates. Can Anna find someone to share her favourite story with and discover how much magic is hiding inside a book? RRP: €7.97 easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

Breastfeeding tongue tie Most people think of tongue tie as when a person has difficulty getting their words out. Lactation consultant Michelle Cleary explains what this condition is and how it can be treated

n recent years, the number of breastfeeding problems that are attributed to tongue tie (in the infant) has increased dramatically. Many babies with tongue tie don’t actually need any kind of procedure. Medical experts don’t tend to routinely perform frenotomies (the procedure in which the lingual frenulum, the small membrane on the underside of the tongue is cut), however the procedure is often recommended to improve breastfeeding.

Mum's Tip

"I experienced a tough time with the latch when breastfeeding my newborn. The tongue tie was missed three times until I went to an expert where it was rectified. Breastfeeding was a joy from then on!’’Ciara 42

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What is a tongue tie? Tongue tie presents at birth and happens when the frenulum (the band of tissue that connects the bottom of the tongue to the floor of the mouth) is too short or tight causing the movement of the tongue to be restricted. It is found to be more common in boys. Tongue function is a key factor that affects breastfeeding. Research shows that up to 10% of babies have a tongue tie but just less than half of these babies have some difficulty with feeding depending on how restrictive the frenulum is and how it impacts on the function of the tongue. Historically, the presence of a tongue tie resulted in its division immediately after birth, usually by the midwife. Tongue ties were not widely recognised over the past three decades due to the easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

Top Tip

If you suspect that your baby has a lip or tongue tie, you will need to get it evaluated. This is where an experienced IBCLC can help.

reduced incidence of breastfeeding in Ireland largely due to the promotion of formula feeding. It's interesting to note that the Growing Up In Ireland study revealed breastfeeding rates in Ireland to be as low as 56% compared to 90% in European countries My personal experience supports the view that frenotomies can significantly improve breastfeeding when latching is impeded with immediate benefits for mum and baby.

What are the main reasons for a frenotomy? Difficulties for breastfeeding for the baby: • Prolonged feeds. The baby has to suck more frequently to get an adequate volume of milk. As a result the baby has to compensate by snacking at the breast resulting in prolonged feeds. • Dribbles milk from the side of the mouth. • Baby becomes frustrated at the breast. • Unsettled and appears hungry all the time. • Baby has symptoms of colic and reflux. • Baby appears unsatisfied after a feed. • Poor transfer of milk. • Faltering weight gain. • Falling asleep at the breast and feeding again soon after. • Inability to latch on the breast from birth and/or maintaining a latch. • Clicking sound when feeding. Making a clicking sound as they feed can also be a sign you need support with the position and attachment of your baby at the breast. • Dental caries. Some dentists state that they see more dental caries in children and adults with tongue tie. It can be easy parenting

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difficult to reach the back of the mouth with the tongue to remove the pieces of food from between the teeth therefore interfering with mouth hygiene. • For a baby to draw milk from the breast, they must develop a vacuum. The mid portion of the tongue elevates and depresses with the oral cavity resulting in creating a vacuum. This is how a baby extracts milk from the breast. The baby pushes the tongue up towards the palate and depresses it to create a vacuum. If a baby has a tongue tie it restricts the ability of the baby to elevate and depress the tongue and therefore it creates a weak inefficient vacuum. Difficulties for breastfeeding for mum: • Severe nipple pain. sTo breastfeed successfully the baby needs to latch on to both the breast tissue and nipple and the tongue needs to cover the lower gum so the nipple is protected from damage. • Engorgement due to ineffective feeding and not emptying the breast. • Poor initiation and maintenance of milk supply.

Normal tongue position

• Plugged ducts. • Mastitis (often more than once). • Nipple compression and distortion, blanching (lipstick shaped). • Nipple damage and bleeding. The National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence in the UK published evidence supporting frenotomy for infants with tongue tie and feeding problems. Research does show that the surgical release of a tongue tie does result in significant average improvement in maternal and infant breastfeeding outcomes. With more mums opting to breastfeed the increased incidence of tongue tie is inevitable.

More info Michelle Cleary RGN, RM, RPHN, IBCLC is Lactation Consultant (IBCLC), Registered General Nurse, Registered Midwife and Public Health Nurse. Find out more at www.breastfeedingknowhow.com Tel: 087 9507248

Tongue-tie

15/02/2019 16:12

Pregnancy

How to holiday with toddlers

Are you planning your next holiday, but unsure about whether your threeyear-old will enjoy it? Mum-of-two Geraldine Walsh shares her tried and tested tips on holidaying with toddlers

olidaying with toddlers. Is it even worth it? Before kids became glued to our hip, holidays were just that, a holiday. A break-away from the everyday, soaking up the sun and finding adventures another world can offer, away from the chaotic days of work and home life. A well deserved break. I don’t know about you but I long for those days again. With kids, holidays take on a new meaning. The idyllic vision we have and the holiday brochure pictures we ogle over, which paint a thousand unspoken and unrealistic ideas, lure us in to a false sense of security about how magical a

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family holiday can be. It can be far from the picturesque image of splashing in the sea with your two-year-old, collecting shells on the beach before wining and dining as a family. Everyone happy, smiling and loving each other. Chances are we’ve all been there as the toddler has a meltdown at the wrong place and the wrong time making you wish you could just go home. Many parents have regretted going on holidays with toddlers, with quite a few it seems lying to friends and families about how much they enjoyed it. “We had such a lovely time, Sandra,” I've said, remembering the 382 times the

two-year-old threw herself to the floor because she was overtired and cranky. Like me, parents often find the ordinary stresses of life packed in the luggage too. Is a relaxing holiday possible when kids are along for the ride? Most certainly, once we plan around the kids and not the kids around the holiday. Once we ease the rules and relax our parenting norm, holidays can be as magical as we hope.

Readjust your expectations While you may wish to spend a week museum hopping or checking out the local cuisine after strolling through vineyards, you can almost guarantee this easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

will not make a relaxing stay with kids. You could try it but you may find having a bored, agitated and tired toddler tripping up behind you a little frustrating and awkward. That’s not to say culture be damned on a family holiday, simply be prepared to readjust your expectations as to what a family holiday looks like. Family holidays are far from perfect and trying to fit in the usual routines and rituals can prove to be tricky but with a little imagination and relaxing of the rules, it is possible. Remember, going on holiday is your idea and not your toddler's. They are bound to feel a little confused and out of sorts. Be conscious of how difficult and tiring holidays are on them by making sure you keep them occupied and happy with some semblance of their creature comforts and routines from home.

A toddler holiday Time is one of the biggest stress inducing factors of holidays when it comes to kids. Their attention span is only so long, meaning excessive flights or tedious travel plans will prove a little difficult in their small world. The moment they become agitated with the long distance to be travelled you can guarantee any relaxation you planned will disappear out the window. Thankfully, there are plenty of excellent locations a short hop away with many European cities only a short flight. Choosing a coastal location can mean mixing city breaks with sun, sea and sand. There are many choices but choose wisely. Being able to use the stroller and walk rather than struggle on to buses and trains can relieve another wall of stress. When deciding on where to go you have to think about what they will enjoy. Ancient ruins, as amazing as they are, may do little to entertain a toddler. Staying in a resort, instead of a one room hotel, catered towards families with entertainment, amenities and hopefully a easy parenting

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swimming pool will make your holiday more fun and give you the opportunity to find time to relax too.

Remember the essentials With the location sorted, ensuring you have the absolute essentials with you will make long days on vacation a little easier for short legs. You certainly don’t want to bring the kitchen sink, no matter how much easier it would make the week. Bring the buggy or stroller, for those essential naps or moments your toddler needs downtime from all of the fun, even if they have started to avoid the buggy at home. Be sure not to leave without their favourite toy or lovey and if you can, their favourite books and gadgets you use for night time such as their music or white noise. Overtiredness can create bad sleeping patterns. Bringing your toddler's creature comforts can help them to sleep better in an unfamiliar place. When the kids are sleeping from an exhausting day, Mum and Dad can open the wine on the warm terrace.

Relax the boundaries but remain consistent This sounds like a bit of a contradiction but kids love routine, which tends to go out the window on holiday. Maintaining some sort of consistency is important, if not for you then for them. Encourage your toddler to nap at their usual time if possible and be conscious of their usual meal times. If they nap in the buggy, take advantage of the quiet and grab a coffee with your snoozing little one. Relax the boundaries as to how many scoops of ice cream they have, how long they use the tablet, or any of the usual rules applied at home. If they refuse to try the local cuisine and stick to chicken and chips the entire holiday, don’t worry. It won’t do them any lasting damage. Remember, family holidays are a precious time away from the normal working week at home. No school, crèche or work gives you so much time to enjoy each others company away from the ordinary stresses. Relax. Take your time. Enjoy the moment. Pick your battles. Plan ahead and enjoy a calm, happy and fun holiday with your little ones. 45

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Precious Beginnings

Once upon a time… We’re often told about the importance of a routine to help children get to sleep, but what are the benefits of a bedtime story? Emily Elphinstone finds out

Bonding benefits Reading a bedtime story aloud with your child creates a special period of shared attention, which is great for reinforcing the bond you share. As well as the comfort of listening to the sound of your voice, your little one (and you) can enjoy the comfort of snuggling up together to look at the pictures, and you have the shared experience of discovering the stories together.

Good for development Reading a bedtime story is good for far more than reading practice, so it’s never too early to introduce a bedtime story to your child. Story reading helps in the development of your baby’s oral communication skills, listening abilities, memory, and language recognition skills. It is a good way to strengthen her vocabulary and different sentence structures from a very early age.

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By listening to stories, children learn about vocabulary and sentence structure, which can support language development. In fact, studies have shown that children who are read to at an early age typically have better language scores later in life. Reading a bedtime story together also promotes motor development, as children learn to turn the page with their thumb and forefinger, and their memory. It also improves their emotional and social development.

It’s good for attention You might hear time and again that children of this generation have short attention spans, but building the routine of sitting down for a bedtime story is a great way to combat this – just sit back together, relax, and let the world of the story take you on an adventure. You might be surprised how good your

little one is at sitting still when they’re desperately waiting to find out what will happen next.

Top Tip As you sense those eyes beginning to droop, tone down any character voices and relax into a slower and more monotone voice, to help your child drift off. Over time you’ll learn which books help your child to switch off, and which they engage in a little too much.

Reading builds imagination With so much visual stimulation available on TV and computers, it’s more important than ever to give your child opportunity to stimulate their easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

Top Tip On a budget? Make use of your local library, encourage friends and family to give books for birthdays or other occasions, and share books with other parents. Also, don’t worry about reading the same story again and again. Babies love, and learn from repetition. imagination through reading, play, and telling stories.

Life lessons As your baby grows, she is also learning about right and wrong, and how to behave, drawing inspiration from the people around her, and what she sees and hears. Reading time is a great way to subtly teach your child important life lessons, building her personality, and her knowledge about the world. Reading is also a great way to start a conversation about certain topics, from

going to the dentist, to making friends or dealing with bereavement in an age-appropriate way.

Wind down Along with a bath, and baby massage for smaller children, a bedtime story is a great way to wind down and prepare for sleep. Even if your little one is overstimulated, reading a story will help her to let go of any anxieties, and to relax. Building a bedtime routine which includes a bedtime story, will help your child recognise when it’s time to go to sleep just as much as having a set bedtime.

Reading introduces a habit for life If your child’s day ends with a bedtime story, this will quickly become a habit they can’t live without. For those of you with a love of reading, you’ll understand just what a gift this can be.

Top Tip As you read, make your baby look and answer questions to promote social development and thinking skills.

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When Should We Start Reading A Bedtime Story? It is never too early to introduce your baby to the world of stories. In fact, you can start practising reading aloud while you’re pregnant, as babies can recognise their mother’s voice in the womb. Using different emotions and expressive sounds while reading a story encourages social and emotional development in babies even before they can talk themselves, and even before babies can identify the pictures, they will still be attracted to different patterns and contrasting colours in picture books, while their vision develops.

What types of stories are best? Short stories with colourful pictures are great for keeping children engaged. You might even enjoy books with different textures, shapes, or pop up elements. For smaller babies, look out for cloth or card books which won’t be damaged by little hands and mouths. It’s also fun to choose books which relate to your child’s current stage, such as learning to use a potty, making friends in pre-school, or going on an aeroplane for the first time. If you’re not sure, ask other parents for recommendations, read online reviews, or talk to the staff in your local bookshop or library. Most people are more than happy to share their favourites.

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Precious beginnings

TLC for sensitive baby skin

Louise Porter shares some top tips on caring for your baby’s sensitive skin

our baby's skin is used to complete protection from the outside environment when they're safe inside your womb. So when they come into contact with the outside world, their skin can take time to adjust and they can be prone to dryness, sensitivity and rashes. If you notice your baby has developed dry skin or a rash don’t panic, it is usually nothing to worry about. Here are some tips on how to deal with your baby’s sensitive skin: 48

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Bubbles equals trouble If your baby is prone to sensitive skin avoid using too many products in the bath. While bubbles are fun for your baby and so many baby soaps and shampoos smell delicious, they can be harsh on sensitive baby skin. Instead opt for a gentle soap substitute.

Try an oat bath You see oats advertised as an ingredient in many washes and moisturisers for a reason: they are extremely beneficial for the skin. Oats help to soothe itchy skin if your baby is having a flare up, they also contain water binding components which help to keep moisture in the skin.

To make an oat bath you can ground around a cup of oats in a food processor and add to the bath when you are running it, just as you would with bubble bath. Alternatively, you can put the oats in a muslin cloth tie it securely with a hair tie and put it in the bath as you run it.

Don’t over wash While a bath in the evenings is a soothing part of a bedtime routine, washing your baby’s skin too much can actually dry it out. Try to keep bathing to two or three times a week to reduce dryness. A moisturising baby massage can be just as relaxing and enjoyable for your baby’s bedtime routine. easy parenting

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easy parenting

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Precious beginnings Use an emollient Using a thick emollient moisturiser is best for dry skin. Use this liberally and often for the best results, two to three times a day is the usual advice but you may need to use it more during bad flare ups. Emollient creams can also be used as a soap substitute for baths.

Not a life sentence Just because your baby has infant eczema doesn’t mean they will have it for life. A baby’s skin is extra sensitive but they will often grow out of the skin condition between the ages of three and seven.

See a doctor While eczema isn’t anything to worry about, it is always best to see a doctor if a rash appears to ensure it isn’t anything more serious and to get the best option. for treatment.

How to care for baby's skin Many new parents are dismayed when their beautiful baby develops dry skin patches which can become uncomfortable. When new babies' skin is exposed to the world and washed daily they may develop dry skin. Many new babies have this dryness, and it doesn't mean they have eczema. However, if you or your partner has eczema, asthma or hay fever (atopy) bear in mind that atopic eczema is a genetic condition. So it's particularly important to help your baby's skin work well as a barrier. Ask your public health nurse or GP to check whether or not the dry patches on your baby's skin are atopic eczema. Making sure you get the right treatment for eczema will make it easier to control flare ups in your baby’s skin. In fact new research has shown that just by using ‘total emollient therapy’ from birth can stop

EXPERT ADVICE

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Mum’s story “I realised my baby had sensitive skin a bit later than usual. Generally eczema or dermititis flares up around three to four months but hers didn’t appear until 11 months. It started out as a couple of dry patches on her neck and tummy and then spread into a full, itchy rash quite suddenly. It appeared on her tummy, back and neck with patches on her legs. Seeing your baby covered in a rash can be extremely distressing as a parent, nobody likes seeing their little one uncomfortable or in pain. We immediately called the doctor and she was diagnosed with eczema. I did worry that it would take a

eczema from developing in children who have a positive family history of atopy. Total emollient therapy Even if you don’t have a positive family history, do protect your baby's skin from drying any further, so that the dryness doesn't develop into a skin problem. If you and your baby enjoy bath time, adding a soap free baby bath with a regular moisturiser (total emollient therapy) should help to protect your baby's skin barrier. Sensitive babies should never have baby wipes; instead use water and cotton wool. Bath emollients are designed to protect your baby's skin while gently cleansing and moisturising it. There will be no suds or bubbles or beautiful smells, as there are with standard baby washes, but this does not mean your baby's skin will not be cleansed.

lot of extra care to look after her skin but it is actually very managable, I have found that once you change your mindset for baby skincare it is actually easier (and less expensive) to look after than it was before. There is no fussing with shampoo, body wash and moisturiser, we just use the same product for everything. We use Ovelle Silcocks Base twice a day to moisturise her and to cleanse her in the bath twice a week, this is known as total emollient therapy. We do also have a mild steroid cream which we used on the worst parts of the initial flare up for a few days but we haven’t needed it since. “ Louise Porter

Moisturisers are skin softeners or smoothers that help your baby's skin to hold in water. They moisturise dry skin, reduce scaling, soften cracks in the skin and reduce itching. Be warned that bath emollients can make your baby very slippery. So keep a gentle but secure grip on your baby while she's in the water. Be gentle Once you have finished bathing your baby, holding her securely, lift her out and wrap her in a warm, dry towel. Pat her skin dry rather than rubbing with the towel. Scrubbing or rubbing your baby's skin can damage the delicate layers of her skin. Another top tip is to keep the heat down in your home. Central heating can dry out sensitive skin. Keep a room thermometer in the nursery to ensure that your baby isn’t too hot particularly at night time. Selene Daly, Dermatology Nurse Specialist

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easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

f o h t a e r b A r i a h s e r f

Do you feel like the air in your home has become musty? Elsje du Toit finds out how to give your home a blast of fresh and clean air

ave you ever thought about how clean the air in your home really is? We spend a lot of time there – especially during the winter period as it’s too cold some days to go outside and enjoy the fresh air. But with temperatures dropping, we’re also closing our windows and doors and putting on the heating to make sure we stay nice and cosy inside. Whether you’re indoors or outdoors, the quality of the air you breathe can have a big impact on your health. Cold temperatures outside and indoor heating also lead to drier air. Viruses can be preserved in colder temperatures due to slower decomposition, so they linger longer on exposed surfaces such as doorknobs, and countertops. If you or anyone else in your family has allergies, then clean air in your home is of much more importance. So how can you ensure the air in your home is clean? Here are a few tips to keep your family’s health in tip top shape and ensure they’re breathing clean, healthy air. 52

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easy easy parenting parenting

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Clear the airways

Advertorial

Don’t let that stuffy nose get the better of you. Find out how to get relief

inter is upon us, and with more than 200 cold-causing viruses floating around, this means you and your familiy are bound to have the sniffles quite soon. Children get around seven to 10 colds a year, compared with two to three for adults.

Allergic Rhinitis One of the leading causes of the swelling or inflammation in your nasal cavity can be allergic rhinitis. This can cause cold-like symptoms such as sneezing, itchiness, and a blocked or runny nose. There are three general categories of allergic rhinitis: 1 Seasonal, which will occur at certain times of the year. 2 Perennial which occurs all year round. 3 Occupational, which is related to particular substances that people come into contact with through their work such as sawdust. It’s estimated that at least 20% of pregnant women can develop rhinitis at some point during pregnancy. It’s thought that due to an increase in blood volume, the nasal passages develop ‘vascular engorgement’ and placental growth hormone is also implicated as it encourages blood vessel growth. Some women will be affected throughout pregnancy, and others may not suffer at all. As most medications cross the placenta and should only be used when the apparent benefit is greater than the risk to the fetus, natural remedies are to be encouraged such as saline nasal sprays. Luckily, it’s a self-limiting condition which will resolve once the baby is born. easy parenting

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Relieving Your Baby’s Stuffy Nose A stuffy nose can lead to your baby struggling to sleep and feed. That’s why it’s so important to help clear the mucus from their noses.

natural osmotic effect that gently draws and drains excess fluid, like mucus, from the nasal lining to rapidly relieve bunged up noses. It also helps to rebalance the nose’s natural immunity defences.

How to unblock baby's nose:

✔ Steam helps Sit with your child in a steamy bathroom while the shower is on. Don’t ever put him close to the hot water and make sure to change your baby into dry clothes afterwards. ✔ Nasal Saline Spray – It helps to loosen dried mucus making it easier for you to remove it using a suction bulb. A product perfect for this is Sterimar Breathe Easy Baby which is suitable for babies from birth. It’s micro-diffused seawater enriched with copper. It’s free from steroids, drugs or any preservatives making it extremely safe for your baby to use. The nozzle fits safely and comfortably inside your baby’s nose and will continue to work at any angle.

Unblocking Your Toddler’s Stuffy Nose For children, three months and older Sterimar Kids Congestion Relief is a very good way of unblocking noses. Just like the Sterimar Breathe Easy Baby, it’s made up from 100% natural seawater enriched with added copper and magnesium salts that are completely free from drugs and preservatives. It has a slightly higher salt concentration than cells in the human body. It creates a

Unblocking Your Stuffy Nose Products like Sterimar Congestion Relief are perfect to help ease your blocked sinuses. It’s made of 100% natural seawater, enriched with added copper and magnesium salts to help prevent flu contamination, wash away even thick mucus and rapidly decongest the nose. It helps to fight colds, sinusitis and limit the risks of secondary infection by washing out nasal cavities with no known side effects. Best of all? It’s totally natural – free from drugs, preservatives and steroids.

The Sterimar range is available in pharmacies nationwide. 49 53 81

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Precious beginnings Dust and vacuum regularly Although it might sound a bit obvious, it is important to do this on a regular basis. By taking a few minutes to dust surfaces regularly with a damp cloth and to vacuum with a machine containing a HEPA filter, you can help to reduce dust particles, pet dander (your pet’s skin cells), and dust mites – all things that will irritate people with allergies – in your home.

Open your windows It’s the simplest (and cheapest!) thing you can do to improve your indoor air quality. However, it’s hard to open a window when it’s toasty inside, but it’s worth giving each room in your home a boost of fresh air. Even if it’s just for a few minutes and you can do one room at a time. It’s also a good idea to use fans, like the extractor fans in kitchens and bathrooms. It’s there for a reason! It helps to prevent mould spores, gas, and cooking smells from spreading around the house. Make sure you use them, and leave doors open to the kitchen and bathroom when it's not in use.

Get yourself a plant Houseplants don’t only spruce up your home décor, it can also help improve your indoor air quality. NASA has reported that some of the most common houseplants help to filter certain toxins that may be in your home. They produce oxygen, add moisture to the air, and can absorb some toxins through their leaves, though this of course depends on which plants you choose, their health, and how many you have. You could even choose plants with a naturally fresh scent too!

Keep your pets groomed Pet dander is found nearly everywhere in a pet-owner’s home. Even more than pet fur, dander can cause you to develop 54

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asthma-like symptoms or exacerbate your asthma if you already have it. If you do have a four-legged family member be sure to keep dander to a minimum by cleaning them regularly, brushing them outdoors and vacuuming floors and furnishings regularly with a vacuum that has a HEPA filter.

damp places, such as your bathroom, and laundry room. You can still avoid the harsh chemicals by using natural ways to kill it. Vinegar, tea tree oil, citrus seed extract and baking soda are all natural ways to fight it off.

Wash your furnishings

We’re all turning the heating up high to make our homes nice and cosy, but it’s important to make sure that any appliances that use gas or emit smoke such as heaters, boilers, and stoves are serviced, so they don’t emit pollutants into your home. You should also make sure carbon monoxide detectors are installed, and working properly. It’s also very important to get chimneys and stoves cleaned and serviced, to ensure that smoke and pollutants are being properly filtered away from your home.

Items like curtains and sofa cushions can often build up with dust, mould particles, and other home-pollution. By washing any soft furnishings that are removable, you can not only get the lovely smell of freshly washed laundry around the house, but also help remove dirt, dust, and germs from the fabrics. For items that are not machine washable, vacuum or brush with a clean firm-bristled brush, then spritz lightly with equal parts white vinegar and water, to get rid of that musty smell.

Try to avoid toxic chemicals Many store-bought household cleaning products, deodorants, hair products, nail varnishes, and art supplies contain toxic chemicals that can cause eye, nose, throat and lung irritation and even nausea. Look for products that are marked “low VOC’s” (Volatile organic compounds), try to avoid aerosols and products marked “hazardous” or “toxic”, and make sure that chemicals are only used in wellventilated areas, by opening windows. Try to use natural items such as lemon, baking soda and white vinegar for cleaning, or look out for chemical-free brands, for added peace of mind.

Check fuel-burning appliances

Use an air purifier Did you know, that according to the Environmental Protection Agency, the air within homes and other buildings can often be more seriously polluted than the outdoor air? So if you want to improve the air quality in your home, you need to be able to monitor and tackle visible, and invisible pollutants.

Use cooking oils with higher smoke points To avoid a kitchen filled with smoke and a lingering smell of burnt oil wafting through your house for hours, use a cooking oil that smokes at higher temperatures. Extra virgin olive oil has a lower smoke point compared to avocado, peanut, rapeseed, corn and sunflower oil.

Get rid of mould This fungus not only looks yucky, it release spores into the air that can trigger allergy symptoms. It likes to grow in dark, easy parenting

15/02/2019 16:16

Precious beginnings Pregnancy

Fun without Screens Mum-of-one Tracey Quinn shares how she nurtures and encourages hobbies and interests for her child that do not involve screens

e are well and truly back into the swing of things after a much enjoyed Christmas break. School and work routines continued where they left off and at this stage Christmas pudding for breakfast seems like a distant memory. We are now counting down to the next positive thing we have to look forward to, because that is how we roll around here. There are some things, however, that managed to stick around since the Christmas break. I’m sure I won’t be alone in my battle against too much screen time. This year houses across the country were filled with devices and gadgets that involve all kinds of wonderful technology. These screens give us all great joy over the seasonal breaks. They make long car journeys more bearable and they even allow for you to catch up on a bit of Netflix yourself, because the kids were preoccupied with their own screens. Now that normal life has resumed you might be feeling a little bit anxious about the level of screen time that is happening in your house. You are certainly not alone on this one. On a personal level, I have to call my child’s name at least five times, and rather loudly, for him to answer me when he’s watching something on his tablet. easy parenting

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Fun activities that don’t involve screen time: In a bid to reduce screen time and broaden my children’s horizons I want to try to encourage and nurture some hobbies and interests that do not involve screens. Hobbies can offer our children so many positives. Here are some great tips I’ve picked up so far! 1 Reading is such a wonderful hobby to share with your children. It will serve them well at school as well as developing their imagination and concentration skills. One of the most effective ways of encouraging your child to enjoy reading is to allow them to see you doing the same. When you get a small block of time to relax, how often do you pick up a book and read a couple of chapters? For me it’s always my phone or flicking through the TV. Children do as they see. 2 The more time you spent outdoors as a family the more chance that your child will notice the positives. If you are out of the house and immersed in fresh air your child is not sitting in front of a screen or glued to a console. A simple trip to the park might open their eyes to a football game or some roller-blading that is going on. It may trigger a curiosity or interest and that is often half the battle.

3 Does your child gravitate towards a particular subject when it comes to the kind of TV shows they like to watch or the questions they have about the world? You might notice a theme and this could be a great starting point for exploring hobbies. They may have a keen interest in music rather than sport for example. 4 Camps are a really great way to introduce the idea of activities without putting pressure on our kids. It’s casual, they’ll try a variety of different things and you can keep your ears wide open to notice any interests that evolve. The next opportunity for a camp might be just around the corner at the next school break. 5 Remember that hobbies don’t always have to involve leaving the house or spending money. Arts and crafts and board games are a great way to encourage being part of a team and goal setting while keeping your child away from too much screen time. Some children participate really well in team activities while others may excel in hobbies and interests that do not involve other people. It’s good to consider having a mix of both.

15/02/2019 16:17

Family

Encourage your kids to drink more water We all know about the benefits of a well-balanced diet for children, but do you ever consider whether your child is drinking enough water? Here are some tips to encourage your kids to drink more fluids

ater is absolutely essential for helping your child to grow and remain healthy. Did you know that water makes up approximately 62%-66%* of an average child's (aged between four to 10 years old) weight? This means that water makes up over half of your child's weight – it's crucial for keeping all parts of the body working properly. But as many parents will agree, it can be tricky getting children to drink enough water every day. Water plays a particularly important role in your child's health, as they have larger hydration requirements than adults. This is because young children are less heat tolerant than adults, so drinking enough fluids throughout the day is essential, especially in warm weather, or if they are physically active.

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How Much Water Should My Child Be Drinking?

For most people, the recommended intake is around two litres of fluid (about eight glasses) daily. Children need about roughly six glasses per day. "Water is best for hydration, but other good sources include low-fat milk and herbal teas. Adding a cordial, such as MiWadi 0% Sugar can make it easier to drink more water," advises Consultant Dietitian Sarah Keogh. Your child may not always be able to recognise the early stages of thirst, which can leave them at risk of becoming dehydrated. Dehydration, even if it’s only mild, can cause tiredness, headaches, lack of concentration, and dry skin. Teach your child that they should never wait until they feel thirsty to drink water – it's better to keep sipping throughout the course of the day. “You can be 1-2% dehydrated before the

feeling of thirst kicks in," explains Sarah. "Ensure you drink water throughout the day, rather than leaving it until the evening. People tend to be a little dehydrated in the morning, as they have lost water through the breath and skin overnight." Encourage your child to aim for six to eight glasses of water a day. How do you reach that goal? Try the following tips to help make drinking water more appealing to your child and keep them hydrated and energised.

Make It Fun

Give your child a water bottle that features their favourite cartoon characters. Let them pick out their own special glass or bottle in the supermarket. The more ownership your child has in this process, the better.

Make It Tasty

Why not flavour the water with some easy parenting

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Advertorial Start A Family Water Challenge Set your kids a goal to drink more water. Track their progress with a sticker chart – every time someone drinks water they get a sticker. Remember, you are your child’s role model, so set a good example – the more your children see you drinking water, the more likely they are to do the same. delicious MiWadi 0% Sugar? You could make ice-cubes with MiWadi and add to water (dilute your MiWadi 0% Sugar as per the instructions of use found on pack), or try diluted MiWadi 0% Sugar warm for colder days. Consultant dietitian Sarah Keogh advises parents to look for drinks with no or low sugar. "Plain water is best of course, but you could try adding slices of fruit, or consider sugar-free drinks such as MiWadi 0% Sugar." Keeping your children refreshed couldn’t be simpler with MiWadi 0% Sugar. MiWadi 0% Sugar offers another great way to refresh families in a tasty way. Reassuringly, MiWadi 0% Sugar delivers the same refreshing MiWadi taste that families love, and is available in five fruity flavours: Orange, Apple & Pear, Apple Berry, Blueberry & Passionfruit and Cranberry, Apple & White Grape. The MiWadi 0% sugar range is: • Sweetened with Stevia • Free from artificial colours and flavours • Supporting Diabetes Ireland

Make It Accessible

Make sure your child can always access a healthy drink. Leave water dispensers filled with water or diluted MiWadi 0% Sugar in the fridge, allowing the kids to easily pour themselves a glass when thirst hits. Ensure that water bottles and cups are comfortable for kids' little hands to hold, and easy to drink from. Teach and easy parenting

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Visit www.miwadi.ie for more information on the 0% sugar

encourage them to use the kitchen water tap to fill their cup. Carry a water bottle when you’re out and about – keep one for your child in your car, and put one in his or her school bag. Serve your kids water with meals and snacks – that way they are sure to get at least six cups of water every day.

range.

Hydrate With Fruit And Veg

Fruits and vegetables have higher water content than other solid foods, so they can also help to top up our fluids. For example, cucumber and watermelon are over 90% water – why not chop them up and add them to your child’s lunchbox?

Make A Wee Chart

Dark coloured urine is a sign of dehydration. Stick a picture chart of dark to pale urine on your fridge. Beside dark urine have a sad face and a sign saying ‘need more water’ and then beside the pale yellow wee you could have a happy face with ‘you are drinking the right amount of water.’ It’s fun and might be gross enough to motivate the kids to drink up! Use the chart below as a guide:

Are you drinking enough fluids? What colour is your wee?

1-2-3

YOUR WEE IS HEALTHY

1 ∙ Good 2 ∙ Good 3 ∙ Fair 4 ∙ Dehydrated 5 ∙ Very Dehydrated

4 OR MORE YOU NEED TO DRINK MORE

6 ∙ Severely Dehydrated * Reference: EFSA Panel on Dietetic Products, Nutrition, and Allergies (NDA); Scientific Opinion on Dietary reference values for water. EFSA Journal 2010;8(3):1459. [48 pp.].

15/02/2019 16:18

Precious beginnings

Diary

My Baby

Laura Doyle updates us on the highlights of her one-year-old daughter's Milla’s life over the past couple of months

14 MONTHS OLD How is she feeding? I can say this month that our breastfeeding journey is definitely over. I tried for a couple of weeks to keep offering her the breast when she wanted it, but to no avail. She is an amazing eater and eats big portions of all of her meals. (Bigger than her two-yearold sister!)

month so I think that is why she has been a little off at bedtime.

What is she doing? She is taking more and more steps this month. She is just at the stage where she is mostly walking but we still wouldn’t class her as walking! If that makes sense?

How is she sleeping?

How am I feeling?

Milla is still sleeping through the night. She is taking a little longer to go down this month, she just seems a little restless in the evenings. She just got her first tooth this

Mentally I am still a little bit low after Milla selfweaned but I am feeling a lot better than I did last month. Milla has shown me this

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month that she is still as close to me as ever. She still only wants a cuddle from me when she is tired or upset. Even though I may not be breastfeeding her anymore I am still her first source of comfort when she needs it, that is reassuring. Physically I have re-found my love for yoga. It is interesting how when you stop doing something how quickly you forget how much you enjoyed doing it, or how beneficial it is to your mental and physical health.

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Precious beginnings

15 MONTHS OLD How is she feeding? As always, Milla is a great eater. This month though, she is being a little fussy. She has just gotten her second tooth and it has thrown her a little, food wise. She is LOVING ice-pops this month, I can only imagine how soothing they must be for her.

How is she sleeping? She was a little out of her sleep routine while the others were on school holidays but she has quite quickly gotten back into

her routine since they went back. It’s amazing how it only takes a day or two to get them back into their regular routine. It always seems harder than it ends up being. She is still taking about an hour to go down at night but as I mentioned above I think the second tooth is to blame for that!

What is she doing? She is walking properly this month. There is no stopping her. She is also really trying to talk. She will say ‘yeah’ to most things you ask her or she will shake her head to signal 'no', which really makes things easier in knowing what she wants. She is

14 MONTHS

also saying 'baba', 'dada', 'mama', 'gaga', 'wow', 'hi', and she is waving goodbye.

How am I feeling? Mentally I have started to get up 45 minutes before I wake the kids. I do some yoga, I have my breakfast and I get dressed. It may sound like a slight adjustment to our routine, but the difference this makes to my mental state for the entire day is huge. Physically My physical and mental health always seem to go hand in hand. This month, I went to a yoga retreat. It was amazing. One weekend to full focus on myself and I so needed that. Not only am I feeling stronger mentally for it, I am feeling stronger physically too.

15 MONTHS

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Precious beginnings

y t i u r F

s l e t s a

5 4

1 Jojo Maman Bébé Boat Embroidered Woven Collar Bodysuit (0-3yrs) €17 2 Benetton 100% cotton crew neck sweater (1- 24m) €19.95 3 Jojo Maman Bébé Seersucker Dungarees (0– 3yrs) €25 4 River Island Baby Cream Borg Booties (0–12m) €10 5 H&M Terry romper suit (0-4yrs) €17.99 6 M&S Knitted Dress with Tights Outfit (0-3yrs) €22 - €24 7 Jojo Maman Bébé Born In 2019 Sleepsuit (0-6m) €24 60

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easy parenting

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Precious beginnings

Spring is a time for new flowers, new life, and brighter days. So why not get your little bundle ready for spring with cosy knits, Valentine hearts and cute colours? Just the thing to wear when discovering Spring for the first time

8 Benetton 100% cotton fleece Grey Pants (1- 24 m) € 12.95 9 H&M 2-pack bodysuits €12.99 10 Jojo Maman Bébé Duck Print T-Shirt (6m - 6 yrs) €17 11 M&S Baby Duck Pram Shoes €9.50

11 easy parenting

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12 River Island cream rainbow stripe knit jumper outfit (0–12 m) €33 13 M&S 5 Pack Pure Cotton Dribble Bibs €11 14 M&S Winnie the Pooh & Friends™ 1.5 Tog Sleeping Bag (9-36 m) €27 61

15/02/2019 16:20

Precious beginnings

How to cope with recurrent winter bugs Do you feel like your child goes from one infection to the next during the winter? Elsje du Toit finds out how parents can deal with recurrent seasonal viruses

t’s cold and wet outside which means almost everyone in your family will soon be blowing their noses and coughing the whole day – if they aren’t already! If you have a little baby or toddler, you might be worried about how to keep them as healthy as possible this winter – especially if they’re going to a Montessori or crèche. Dr James Ryan MICGP, Medical Director at MyClinic. ie, says that viral illnesses are more common in winter for a number of different reasons. “Certain viruses can prefer the cold, dry conditions of winter, while people tend to spend more time together indoors with their windows closed, increasing the risk of transmission,” he says. Here are a few ways to help keep your little one as healthy as possible this winter and also how you should treat the illnesses whenever it strikes. 62

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05/12/2018 09/10/2018 17:29 17:00 15/02/2019 14:47

Precious beginnings Preventing viral illness Taking care of your children’s bodies and your own are key to try preventing them catching a cold or other viral illness. “Getting an appropriate amount of sleep and vitamin C, as well as staying warm and dry can all help one stay strong during the winter period,” Dr Ryan says. “It makes it less likely for individuals to suffer the effects of a viral illness.” Dr Ryan urges parents to make sure their children are up to date with their vaccinations. “Normal childhood immunisations are very important to protect against more sinister illnesses.”

Minimise the spread of viral illnesses According to Dr Ryan, most viral illness are spread by “droplet transmission”. “(This) occurs when tiny droplets from the nose or mouth of an infected person enter the eyes, nose or mouth of another person,” he says. “So being in contact with a sick person can be enough to catch the illness.” Although it can be quite difficult to protect your children (and yourself!) against many common viral illnesses, such as the common cold, Dr Ryan says good hand hygiene can help, along with covering your mouth while coughing, and similarly with sneezing. “Other illness such as gastroenteritis (or a ‘tummy bug’) can be spread by direct contact, so hand washing after using the bathroom and before eating or after shaking hands is a key step in helping to reduce the spread.” If your little one is in a crèche or montessori, you’ll have to find out what its policy is regarding return to it after specific illnesses such as chicken pox or hand, foot and mouth disease. “These measures will also help to reduce the spread of illnesses so it’s important to be aware of them.”

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Treating common winter bugs

be less severe. It is important to trust your “Most commonly children suffer with instincts as a parent and if you are symptoms such as runny nose, sore throat, concerned you should have your child cough, ear ache and tummy upset,” Dr assessed by a healthcare professional.” Ryan says. “These are commonly caused You GP should do a thorough history and by viral illness and tend to be self-limiting.” examination to ensure there is no Undertheweather.ie recommends that underlying reason for your child’s constant parents should make sure their child drinks illness. plenty of liquids to replace those lost from “This is especially the case for babies. I sweating and runny noses. would always have a low threshold for “You should make sure your child gets lots bringing a baby to the doctor if they of rest and eats healthily,” it says on the are unwell,” Dr Ryan says. website. If your child has a cough it will clear up after your child’s immune system Mum's Story has defeated the bug that is "My daughter was with a childminder causing it. “The simplest and exclusively from six months until nearly three cheapest way to ease a tickly years old. Up until this point, she had only had a or chesty cough is with any couple of minor colds. When she started Montessori, of the common over-thecounter remedies.” she came down with every bug under the sun – it Dr Ryan says was a continuous loop of viral infections. paracetamol, ibuprofen and She's now a healthy six year old with a vitamin C can all help to very strong immune system!" Maeve control symptoms while the body is fighting off the virus. “If you are not sure or don’t feel confident to self-manage the problem, then seeking some professional advice is appropriate,” he says.

What should I do if my child’s constantly sick? Dr Ryan says parents don’t need to be too worried if their children have runny noses for the most of winter. “Viral illness is very common during the winter period. Children, especially toddlers, can experience 10 to 12 viral illnesses over a winter period. It can often feel that they are going from one illness to the next without a break.”

But do not fear! “The good thing is that the body’s immune system has the ability to respond and adapt easily. As one gets older these illnesses tend to occur less frequently and easy parenting

15/02/2019 16:22

@ Littlewoods

Just for you In this section 66 Beauty tips for mums 68 10 Ways your body changes after birth 70 Mum’s fashion 72 Focus on feel-good friends 74 Rebuilding yourself after separation 76 Mums’ books easy parenting

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15/02/2019 15:49

@ Next

Inspirational advice and information only for you

Highbrow

w e n ’s t a h W in beauty? Nailingit

Including brows in your makeup routine doesn’t have to mean going for a dramatic HD look: All you need is the right brow product (ideally with a brush attached) so you can fill in and tidy your brows in a matter of seconds. We love the Billion Dollar Brows range, including the Brow Boost (RRP €35), and Universal Brow Pencil (RRP €24) for no fuss fabulousness. Available from selected salons nationwide.

There’s something about the right shade of nail varnish that can make you feel fancy even when wearing zero makeup. But you don’t have to spend a fortune or wait for a trip to the salon. CND Vinylux has two great new collections: Nudes are in this season, but why not have fun with the ‘Sweet Escape’, including coral ‘Tropix’ which echoes Pantone’s colour of the year ‘living coral’ , while delivering seven-day wear, chip-resistant and fast-drying colour. RRP €11.95 in selected stockists nationwide.

On the right foot

Our feet are often the first thing to get ignored, but treating yourself to an at-home pedicure is a great form of self care. Why not slather on some SVR XÉRIAL 50 Extrême Foot Cream (RRP €13), which is specially formulated to reduce persistent corns and calluses from dry feet, thanks to its exfoliating and hydrating actions. Then use KISS Foot & Toenail Mask Socks (RRP €4), to leave your feet soft and smooth, and ready for some fluffy bed socks. Both available in selected pharmacies and retailers nationwide.

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Pure magic

Winter is not a happy time for skin, and you might find that you’re getting extra breakouts. That’s why we love YonKa’s new Clear Skin Routine set: A three step programme designed to naturally clarify skin, while healing existing blemishes, and soothing aggravation. It’s gentle enough for everyday use, and great for when your skin needs a little extra tlc. RRP €30 in selected stockists nationwide.

PS...We love you

Have you tried Penneys’ PS…Beauty collection yet? If not, then be sure to have a gander next time you’re in store. One favourite is the PS… LipKit Matte Collection, featuring a Lip Contour Pencil and Matte Liquid Lipstick: The perfect duo to keep in our handbag for pout perfection in seconds. RRP €4 available in Penneys nationwide. easy parenting

15/02/2019 16:23

Beauty

5 beauty shortcuts for busy mums

hen you become a mum your beauty routine can fall to the wayside. Between school runs, playdates, work and extra-curricular activities, you simply don’t have the same amount of time you used to. But looking fabulous doesn’t have to take the hours it once did; by taking some simple shortcuts you can still get everything you need done and look great doing it! Here are our top five beauty shortcuts for busy mums:

be too tired to spend ages preening yourself in the shower or else you’ll be in for two minutes and someone will be knocking on the door asking you to do something… If you get the luxury of showering alone, that is! So to make showers quicker, only shave where you will have skin showing. If you’re wearing cropped trousers, shave to your knees, if you’re wearing a skirt and knee boots, shave above your knees… or forgo all the leg shaving and wear tights. It’s not the most glamorous shortcut but it does cut the shower time in half on busy evenings.

1 Embrace the mum bun

It is the old reliable for a reason, it works! If you haven’t had time to wash your hair, throw it all in a bun on the top of your head with a nice headband and nobody will be any the wiser. You can also use some baby powder as a DIY dry shampoo to give your hair a bit of a lift, just sprinkle a small bit onto your roots and rough it up with your fingertips before putting it up. 2 Only shave the necessary parts

The days of long luxurious showers are long gone. After a busy day, you’ll either easy parenting

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Mum's Tip

"The Dove moisturiser with light tan in it is great. I put a bit on my face and neck area to take away the pale look. It takes all of two minutes." Nicola

4 Use multi-purpose products

Having one product that can do two or three jobs is super handy and takes away a lot of stress in the mornings. Choose a tinted moisturiser or BB cream so you don’t have to use foundation (you can also mix a bit of concealer with your usual moisturiser for the same effect), use eyeshadow to fill in your brows or choose a buildable product that works as a lip balm, blusher and highlighter.

3 Make the most of the night-time

After a hard day of work and kids, it’s normal to fall into bed exhausted. But before you do, think of all the beauty that could be at work while you sleep. Give your face a good cleanse and moisturise before bed, don’t go to bed with your make up on, as tempting as it may be after a busy day, it just creates extra work in the morning. Have your shower at night and tie damp hair up in a low bun or clip before bed and wake up with effortless beachy waves.

5 Utilise the salon

If you can, make time try to visit the beauty salon once every six weeks or so to get your eyebrows shaped and tinted and your eyelashes tinted. It is a bit of an investment of time but it does work out better in the long run. You will save so much valuable time in the mornings. If your eyebrows and eyelashes are always ready to go, all you need to do in the mornings is put on a bit of tinted moisturiser and some compact powder and you can head straight out the door. 67

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10 WAYS YOUR

Body changes AFTER GIVING BIRTH

Louise Porter takes us through some changes your body may experience after the birth of your baby

regnancy is a life altering event, but it can also alter your body, sometimes in ways that you were prepared for and in some ways that you didn’t expect. Remember, your body has done something amazing, so don’t punish it by trying to exercise too soon or resenting how it looks. It takes nine months for your body to look the way it does post pregnancy, it should take at least the same time for it to get back to a similar (not the same) way it was before.

1 Hormones

After the placenta is delivered, there is a drop in progesterone in the body. Because progesterone is a mood 68

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elavating hormone, this can cause your mood to drop. This can cause what is commonly called the ‘Baby Blues’, and it can happen anywhere from a few days to a week after giving birth and can last a few days, so if you find yourself in tears or snapping at people for no reason don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal. If you find that it is prolonged (lasting longer than a few weeks) then you should consult your doctor. If you are breastfeeding, you will have a surge in oxytocin, or the ‘feel good’ hormone and melatonin (at night), these will make you feel happier, less stressed and help you sleep better (until your baby wakes you that is!).

2 Vitamin levels

Because of postnatal bleeding, there may

be a dip in your iron levels, which can cause fatigue and headaches. To avoid this, eat plenty of iron rich foods like green leafy veg and red meat and continue with your prenatal iron supplement.

3 Breasts

Between three to five days after giving birth, it is common for your breasts to become heavy and engorged. This is your milk coming in. To prevent complications like mastitis or blocked ducts it is important to breastfeed frequently and on demand and wear a tight fitting nursing bra for extra support. Your milk supply will regulate and settle between two and six weeks post pregnancy. Until your milk settles you will need to wear breast pads and change them often to prevent leaks. If you choose not to breastfeed, you will need to wear a tight sports bra and easy parenting

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Mum's Tip

"Sore breasts and nether regions are no joke! I had stitches after the birth of my daughter and I didn't Stomach breastfeed. I totally underestimated how I would feel. I Your tummy changes in made sure to sit on a cushion for the first few weeks after an obvious way during birth to help me feel comfortable. I also kept the area pregnancy to clean with water only. My breasts were seriously painful so accomodate your I made sure I had cold compresses to hand, and cold growing baby. After cabbage leaves! Also another great tip if you aren't pregnancy, you will find breastfeeding is to avoid the hot water flow from the that your tummy will not shower spraying towards your chest as this snap back to the way it encourages the milk to activate." was straight after giving Rachael Rochford birth. This is perfectly normal. It

have plenty of breast pads. If your breasts become red and blotchy or you feel flu like symptoms you should consult your doctor as it could be the start of mastitis.

4 Uterus

During pregnancy your uterus grows to accommodate your growing baby, so it only makes sense that it has to shrink back down once your baby is born. You may feel some milk contractions while this is happening, if you are breastfeeding they may be more noticable. This is because the oxytocin caused by breastfeeding helps your uterus to contract faster. Your uterus should be back to its prepregnancy size in six weeks if you breastfeed or 10 if you don’t.

5 Incontinence

Incontinence is one of the less talked about after effects of pregnancy. You may find that it happens when you laugh, sneeze or cough. The best way to deal with it is to regularly do your pelvic floor exercises because they strengthen the muscles around your bladder and vagina. To do pelvic floor exercises, sit comfortably and squeeze your muscles, as if you are trying to stop the flow of urine, for a few seconds and release. It is recommended to do them 10 to 15 times in a row a few times a day.

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took your body nine months to get this way, so don’t stress about getting rid of your ‘baby belly’ straight away. Once you feel up to it, around six weeks post pregnancy, you can start some gentle exercises and your body will be the way you want it in no time.

7 Skin

Your skin stretches during pregnancy and most women will experience stretch marks. These are red marks on the skin caused when the skin stretches a lot in a short space of time. You can use coconut oil or moisturiser and drink lots of water during

pregnancy to help the skin stretch more easily, but unfortunately this probably won’t stop you getting stretch marks. It is not fully known why some people get them and some don’t, but it is thought to be heriditary. If you are having multiple stretch marks it may appear sooner or be more pronounced. While stretch marks never go away, over time they will fade from red or purple, to white and be less noticeable.

8 Hair

You may experience hair loss after your pregnancy. This is because people generally lose around 100 hairs a day, but the hormones during pregnancy make you lose much less than that. This is why many women notice their hair is thicker during pregnancy. So after pregnancy, aside from your hair going back to its normal hair loss pattern, you may also compensate and lose extra hair over the few months after pregnancy, this usually eases off after around six months. If you are concerned about your post-pregnancy hair loss then consult with your doctor.

9 Back pain

When your abdomen stretches during pregnancy, it can put extra pressure on your back. This can cause the backache that many women suffer from during pregnancy. You may find that you still have back pain after pregnancy. You may suffer from this until the muscles in your abdomen tighten up again.

10 Vaginal pain

This is kind of an obvious one, you have just pushed a baby out in fairness! You are likely to be sore for several weeks after the birth of your baby, longer if you have had an episiotomy, a tear or if it was your first birth. You can help this pain by getting as much rest and lying down as possible, spraying it directly in the shower with the showerhead and filling a squirty bottle with cool water to spray directly on your vagina when going to the bathroom. 69

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Just for you

e m o s d n a H Prints

Why not brighten up your wardrobe with a statement piece or two? These fun prints are a great way to go!

4 2

5 1 V by Very Curve Jersey Dress €42 @ Littlewoods 2 Leopard Print Sweatshirt €49.99 @ Mango 3 Checked Pencil Midi Skirt €65 @ M&S 4 Light Pink Spot Playsuit €65 @ River Island 5 Snake-effect belt €15.99 @ Mango 70

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Just for you

10 9

6 Monochrome Print Dress €49.95 @ Zara 7 Striped Scarf €30 @ M&S 8 Multi Colour Leopard Print Shirt €32 @ Dorothy Perkins 9 V by Very Curve Knot Front Dress €45 @ Littlewoods 10 Animal Print Jersey Bodycon Dress €47.50 @ M&S easy parenting

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15/02/2019 16:24

Just for you

Thank you for being a friend Elsje du Toit explores the benefits of surrounding yourself with positive friends and how they can help you survive the challenges of parenthood

eing a mum means you’re probably running around doing errands, chasing after kids trying to get them ready for the day and thinking about dinner the minute you open your eyes every morning. Motherhood can be lonely – especially if you’re very busy – yet you’re never alone. Having a network of good friends in your life can be gold. But, just like everything else in life, you need to make sure you avoid the bad and surround yourself with the good.

The bad mum friends a.k.a ‘mumpires’ Okay, so we're know we're being slightly tongue in cheek here, but we probably all know a mumpire! Mumpires, a.k.a. mums who drain you in real life or online, are 72

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everywhere: the playground, the shops, even online. At first, you might think they’re the best thing that happened to you. They’ll be understanding and always say they’re willing to help. But when you listen closely, you’ll often hear them being very critical about whatever you’re doing or saying. They’re usually also the ones typing the harsh comments on social media and online forums and will also be the ones criticising every little thing – from the way your child holds the spoon to the way you dress yourself as a mum. These mums will usually have you feeling more insecure and unsure – the two feelings every mum struggles with all the time. Beware of them – and becoming one

of them. There is no place for people like this in any mum’s life.

The good friends You’re working tirelessly to ensure your children are happy and healthy, but who’s looking after you? That’s where good friends come in – you really need them in your life. Good friends won’t judge you. They’ll comfort you when you’re down and help you when you’re struggling. Like parents support and love their children in everything they do, a mother’s friends are supposed to do that too. Make sure you find good people to be in your life.

How to avoid the mumpires It’s hard to avoid a mumpire as she comes easy parenting

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Just for you

in many disguises. Some might suck you in under the pretence of a problem shared, except it’s only you who is sharing. Others might seem like they’re sympathetic, while they’re actually slowly chipping away at your confidence: “Still not sitting on her own at seven months? Poor you!” So how can you avoid these people? Let it be water off a duck’s back. Instead of worrying about the opinions of them or someone being critical in an online forum, pick up the phone and call your bestie, a.k.a. the good friend. The one you can trust and who you can share anything with. You know who you are and you know how hard you’re trying to be the best mum to your kids. Every single person has their own story to tell and you shouldn’t let a criticising mumpire spoil yours. If you’re feeling down after being shamed by a mumpire, do the following: • Take it as a compliment – Mumpires often zone in on mums they perceive as the most successful or most relaxed. Therefore give yourself a pat on the back – you’re clearly doing something right! • Breathe – It’s only the mumpire’s opinion. It actually has nothing to do with you! • Trust your own instincts – Brush off negative views. Just because someone has an opinion, doesn’t mean it’s true! • Walk tall – You’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel by just straightening your spine. Don’t slouch your shoulders anymore and stand tall. You’re a mum. That means you’re very close to being a superhero!

Why mums need good friends Friends enrich every stage of our life, but friendships during motherhood are like a life jacket that keeps your head above water when you feel like you’re drowning. Mum friends make you feel like you’re not alone. You know exactly what the other person is going through and can have sincere empathy with them. Your friends can tell you that one, easy parenting

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everything will be okay, and two. that you can do this. Sometimes you need someone in your corner who’ll give you that extra push and support you through anything – no matter what you and your family are going through.

Friends keep us sane According to a study conducted by researchers from Arizona State University in the United States, satisfying and authentic friendships play a key role in keeping mothers’ spirits high. Specifically, feeling unconditionally accepted and comforted is crucial to a mother’s psychological health. Simply being married was not directly related to a mother’s psychological well-being, the quality of the marriage proved more important. “These findings are extremely encouraging in showing the strong protective potential of close, authentic relationships in buffering women through the myriad challenges of motherhood,” Syniya Luthar, one of the study’s researchers said. “We all know well that motherhood is a difficult task for women in general. Mothers, like children, benefit greatly when they know they have reliable sources of comfort when in distress.”

How to make mum friends If you’re the first of your group of friends to have a baby, it’s inevitable that you’re in different life stages. Maybe they want to go

out, but you’re at home feeding the baby. So making friends as a new mum can be hard. I’m not at all suggesting that just because you’re the only mum in your group of friends you should ditch them, it’ll just be easier for you to have someone in your corner knowing what you’re going through and can support you. • Get out there – Get out of the house and literally put yourself out there. Take the baby along in her stroller and go for a walk in the park. You might just meet your new bestie there. • Make the first move – Making new friends can be hard and awkward at first. But take a deep breath and start up a conversation with the other lonely mum at the playground. A simple “hi” can lead to a lifelong friend. • Get contact information – Don’t be shy and hope you’ll magically bump into one-another by chance again. Make sure you exchange contact information so that you can organise a coffee the following week or meet each other again at the park. • Plan the first playdate – The best part of making mum friends is that you already got something in common: Your children! Use it to your advantage and be the first to plan a playdate Pick a time and place that’ll work for both of you.

15/02/2019 16:25

Rebuilding yourself after separation The period after a separation or divorce can be daunting, but there are great lessons to be learned and a new you waiting to be discovered, as Kate Gunn author of Untying the Knot explains

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Just for you

t can be a slow shift from broken to whole. From shame to pride. From weak to strong. I’m not able to pinpoint when exactly I realised that I was okay, but there are many flashes of moments that moved me forward. One minute you are drowning in a hole of sorrow and the next you are laughing hysterically with a bunch of your old school friends wondering why you had lost touch in the first place. In two short years I went from working-from-home married woman, to unemployed single mother, to career girl. I thought I had no more to offer the world, but was shown that the world had so much more to offer me.

The ordinary The first weeks and months are the hardest. And it’s often the smallest moments that have the biggest impact on the Self. Evenings alone on the sofa, no one to have an adult conversation with. Who am I? Running out of milk and realising that you are going to have to get out of your pyjamas and put three kids in the car to go and get some. How did I get here? Filling in forms when your new identity becomes real. Mrs to Ms. Marital status: Separated. In the early days I remember trying to hush the children if they asked in public whether they were going to ‘Dad’s house’ that day. ‘Stop judging me’, I would think feeling the eyes of strangers boring into the back of my head. I would usher the children to somewhere more private to talk, or answer with whispers into their ears. Four years on I’m mostly over that, but in truth a little of the shame still stings. I want to explain to the room full of people that ‘actually everything is fine thank you very much. It’s a very amicable separation if you must know, and, yes, they will be staying at their dad’s house tonight. It’s FINE’. I never do of course, but it says a lot about our perception of separation and divorce easy parenting

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that even after all this time I still feel that way. The term ‘broken home’ has a lot to answer for. I can almost break it down into phases, my journey from lost to found. Family got me through the first phase, carrying me when I needed it. My children pulled me into the next - because when you are responsible for making dinners and doing school runs there’s not much else that you can do but get on with it. Friends brought me out and helped me enjoy the third phase, showing me there was still fun to be had. I raced through the final phase – dodging loneliness on my morning runs and evening swims, remembering old hobbies and life loves that made me feel alive.

let the light back in. It can show you strength and depths you never knew you had, it can uncover friendships you had forgotten and help you forge new relationships you didn’t know you needed. It can make you a better person – more empathetic, more forgiving, more loving, more alive, deeper, stronger, freer and yes, happier. But it’s a process. You can’t rush to the finish line. Re-building a person takes time.

Time helps These phases blended into one another, and I can’t say when each one began and ended. Some were short and over before I had a chance to take stock and realise. Some were longer than I thought they should be, others are still ongoing work. ‘Time is a great healer’ they said. I wanted to punch them each time I heard it in the early days, so I can only apologise now – but time is a great healer. You need to feel the pain and take the support to move on through each stage of becoming you again. And whether it is five months or five years later – you will be ok. Better than okay. Almost all of the separated and divorced women who I have shared stories with are happier now than they were in their marriage. Life may be harder in terms of survival and money and chores, but nothing is harder than living under the weight of a dead marriage. Spending every day of your life in an atmosphere that drags you down and erases You. Feeling hope dissolve into despair. These are the things that will destroy you – not a broken marriage. Although it may seem like the greatest pain you have ever felt, the breaking of that bond can

About Kate Part personal story, part expert guide, Kate Gunn's book Untying the Knot takes you through the process of separation as both parents and friends. From the very first days of unfathomable heartache, through telling the children, what to do with the family home and dealing with conflicts, to finding yourself, coming out the other side and much more. If you’re looking for a helping hand to lead you through the darkness, this is it. Kate Gunn is a well-known blogger and features writer in both the Irish and UK parenting realms. Head of social media for our sister website, everymum, and mother to three wonderful children, she attempts to balance her work, life and budget around her new family circumstances. Untying the Knot (Orpen Press) is available in all good book shops, RRP €14.99. 75

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A helpful read The latest parenting and lifestyle books THE BURNOUT SOLUTION By Siobhán Murray (Gill Books) In her new book psychotherapist Siobhán Murray details how when the birth of her first son (what she calls her first ‘non-negotiable responsibility’) was added to her already overflowing pot that she turned to alcohol as a coping mechanism. The Burnout Solution outlines in concise and practical detail how you come back from the point of burnout in 12 weeks. Through her own experience of burnout and her work as a psychotherapist helping people overcome it, Murray developed a 12-week plan for preventing and overcoming this condition. RRP: €16.99

THE BOOK YOU WISH YOUR PARENTS HAD READ (AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE GLAD THAT YOU DID) By Philippa Perry (Penguin Random House) The most influential relationships are between parents and children. Yet for so many families, these relationships can go wrong and it may be difficult to get them back on track. In this book psychotherapist Philippa Perry shows how strong and loving bonds are made with your children and how such attachments give a better chance of good mental health, in childhood and beyond. RRP: €14.80

MUM, TELL ME By Elma van Vliet (Particular Books) Ever wondered about your mother’s life and if she has more stories to share with you? This book is a guided journal that prompts your mother to share her memories, dreams, and wishes, asking her to record everything from her favourite band as a teenager and her childhood games to her proudest accomplishment, her first love and her first memory of you. It can be given to her as a gift, and returned as a chronicle of her life. The end result will be a deeply personal keepsake. RRP: €19.35

PLAYGROUPS AND PROSECCO By Jo Middleton (Penguin Random House) Single mum Frankie's whole life revolves aroung her kids. But when her toddler has a more active social life, something has to change. Forget ‘me-time’, Frankie would settle for some adult conversation, and watching something other than the Disney channel. The local playgroup may be ruled by Instagram mums with perfect husbands but Frankie accidentally forms a splinter group of single parents. After all, Mummy really needs a playdate of her own (now pass the prosecco). RRP: €9.10

THE NEWBORN IDENTITY REVELATIONS FROM THE FIRST YEAR OF PARENTING By Maria Boyle (Transworld Ireland) In this warm and witty book, Maria writes candidly about what becoming a mother has meant for her. Interspersing her words with brilliant cartoons, she delivers a marvellously entertaining snapshot of life as a modern-day parent. Her sharp observations cover everything from the sleep-deprived early days of having newborn twins, to the reality of being a working mum; from just getting out of the house to slowly getting your social life back. Upbeat and humorous, this is a wonderful book for parents and parents-to-be. RRP €14.99

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Family

@ Mothercare.ie

Advice and tips for kids aged five years and beyond

In this section 78 Building resilient kids 80 Talking to kids about sex 82 Your child and YouTube 85 Vitamin guide 90 Here’s the good stuff easy parenting

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15/02/2019 15:49

Building Resilience In Kids

It’s totally natural for parents to want to protect their children from all forms of negativity. But as Arlene Harris explores if we want them to become emotionally strong, we must develop their resilience

here was a time when the word snowflake merely depicted a lone piece of snow gently falling from

Easily offended

Margaret O’Grady agrees and says she cannot understand why her grandchildren seem to be upset by ‘the slightest thing’. the sky. “I have 10 grandchildren and while the These days, the term is more often than older ones, who are now young adults, not derogatory and is bandied around on a seem fairly grounded, some of the younger daily basis to describe certain sectors of the ones seem to take offence at the whole younger generation, who many see as world and literally everything upsets them,” being as fragile, gentle and as easily says the Dublin woman. “My daughter has crushed as a flake of snow. three children and I really worry in When our grandparents were young, they particular, about how her two teenage had to deal with war, food rations and daughters are going to manage in life as discomfort far beyond most of our they are always crying and comprehensions. Our parents had slamming doors and it better as have our Mum's Tip shouting about how generation, but with "I'm a strong believer in things are so unfair. the abundance of emotional first aid. It's important “Obviously I love all food, comfort and to listen to our children and let them know that we take their my grandchildren to bits material possessions problems seriously." and want them to have a available in the world Jane nice life, but not today, many believe that everything is going to be youngsters have no resilience perfect all the time and they need to learn and are unable to cope with any of the to deal with this rather than having a realities of life. 78

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tantrum when things don’t go to plan. I have had words with my daughter about how she is bringing up her children and while she argued with me in the beginning, I think she is now regretting being so accommodating to the girls.”

Is it too late? Indeed daughter, Ann Marie, says she can see where her mother “is coming from”, but at this point feels it’s too late to make any changes. “I know I am soft and always wanted my kids to have everything,” says the 44 year old. “I am a single parent and felt it was down to me to make sure my children had the perfect childhood – so I know I took on way more than I should have, I didn’t make them do jobs around the house, I always stood up for them regardless of whether they were right or wrong and if something upset them, I would go out of my way to make things better, even if it meant me missing out on something or going broke. easy parenting

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Family

“I thought it would make them happier but, like my Mam says, it seems to have had the opposite effect and my 13 and 14 year old girls don’t seem to be able to cope with anything at all. They’re never happy unless they have got something new and genuinely seem to expect their lives to be totally perfect all the time. I actually don’t know what to do with them at this point as I’m worried that when they leave home (if they ever do), they won’t be able to do a thing for themselves and although I have tried to teach them how to make a meal, put on a wash or even fill out a form, they just don’t want to know.”

Instilling resilience is essential Child psychologist, Peadar Maxwell says building resilience in our children is one of the fundamental strengths we, as parents, need to establish. “Resiliency is the very important set of skills we use to get over the bumps on the road of life,” he says. “It’s how we cope with ups and downs and the upsets along the way such as having to separate from our parents, losing a friend, or finding something difficult. Resilient children recognise and accept feelings, are able to express them in appropriate ways and face and resolve difficult situations as well as cope with stressful or upsetting scenarios. “Parents don’t have to do anything magical to encourage and strengthen their children’s resiliency. They simply have to help them to recognise their own feelings and the feelings of others as this teaches them to name and manage emotions. Also we should allow and encourage the sharing of positive and negative feelings and teach how to do that in an appropriate way – by not dwelling too much on upsets, allowing anger to develop and to read stories which deal with situations where feelings are managed.”

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Social media doesn't help matters Ann Marie O’Grady believes that social media has also been a huge influence on how ‘unprepared’ her daughters are for life. “The girls have had phones since they were 10 and although I tried to keep them off social media, when all their friends were at it, I didn’t want them to be left out,” she says. “But I know all this business with ‘likes’ and ‘shares’ and people posting photos of what great lives they have has always brought the girls down as they compare themselves with others all the time. “There are also lots of stupid news sites on their feeds and literally every day I will find one of them in tears over some dramatic story they have seen online – I don’t even know if these stories are true as you don’t hear them anywhere else. But they definitely affect the girls moods and I think if they were out playing with friends like we were at their age, they would be much happier.”

Information overload? Peadar Maxwell agrees. “The world is wider for children today and more influenced by people other than their parents and family,” he says. “More children are out of the home sooner and for longer each week and the availability of screens everywhere means they are exposed to much more information at a younger age. Society has changed and we adults are struggling to keep up – a lot is expected of our children in a fast changing era. “But parents can help their children develop a positive outlook by encouraging optimism, curiosity and contentment. Encouraging an open mind and modelling contentment teaches our children and reminds us, how we can be mindful and happy about what we have rather than always focusing on what we want but don’t have. Developing coping skills and dealing with negative feelings is a key part of being a resilient adult so parents should

teach and model that skill to children. “The road of life can be bumpy but we can teach our children simple life-skills to manage those bumps and maybe become even more strong and skilled along the way.”

How to help your child become resilient: • Explain to children them that many emotions pass quickly. • Calmly assist and prompt problem solving and help children learn to resolve negative feelings on their own (this means hanging back rather than leaving them off to deal with big negative feelings). • Teach children how to challenge an upsetting situation or person and check back with them about how it went. • Every child will have to deal with some stressful event such as a change of house or school or separation from a parent or friend. By managing these events well the adults in a child’s life are teaching him that yes, bad things can happen but that you can cope and things will improve.

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Family

Getting Their Facts Straight Have you broached the topic of sex with your child? Arlene Harris finds out why it’s important to give your child the straight facts and be totally honest

elling children about the facts of life can be awkward for some parents. Obviously it is the most natural of everyday occurrences and is, after all, what makes the world go round, but for anyone who has told their youngsters high tales of cabbage patches and large birds bearing baby bundles in their beaks, explaining the actual reality may be somewhat tricky. Of course each child is different and there is no set time to sit them down and explain the ways of the world, but child psychologist, Peadar Maxwell, says parents should rely on their children to let them know when they are ready – and this will be when they start asking questions.

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“There is no right age to start talking about bodies, babies and relationships but the clearest sign that a child is ready to talk about sex or sexuality is when they are asking questions,” he says. “I don’t think it is ever a good idea to brush off your child’s questions no matter what the topic, it can cause them to feel silly or to think they shouldn’t talk about the topic and we really do need our children to come to us as their source of information on the important topic of sex. The other sources available to them – usually other children or the internet – are not reliable.”

They need the right information Lorna Farrell knows this to her cost as she was too embarrassed to talk to her children about sex and when they asked questions, would fob them off and tell them it wasn’t something they needed to know about. However, children are curious and her eldest daughter began asking friends in school and before long she had gathered together some wholly incorrect and inappropriate information, which she duly passed on to her younger sisters, who were less than impressed.

“I’ve always been quite old fashioned and shy and dreaded the day that I would have to talk to my girls about sex and periods and stuff like that,” says the 42 year old. “I figured they would be given sex education in school so I wouldn’t need to say anything to them and I hoped they wouldn’t reach puberty until that time.

Curious “All three girls, at one time or another had asked questions about where babies came from and I would tell them that a little seed got into my tummy and grew into a baby. That backfired though because my middle daughter (seven) became terrified about eating fruit as she thought a baby would grow, so I had to explain it was a different type of seed. Then when she and her sisters asked what type and where did it come from, I brushed them aside and said they were too young to understand. “So my eldest girl, who is now nine decided to talk to her friends about it in school and one who lives on a farm gave her the basics of animal husbandry. She was totally horrified, particularly as another girl told her that she would easy parenting

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soon ‘bleed all the time’ and then have a baby herself. Needless to say she told her sisters in an even more gory fashion and before I knew it, I had three crying girls on my hands.”

It’s important to answer questions Not answering questions when asked and worrying about how to impart the relevant information is not helpful, according to Wexford-based expert, Peadar Maxwell. “What parents often forget is that they already have the information that their children need or want,” he says. “We do, after all, know more about sex than our young children and they do not need or want lots of information in one go. A good rule of thumb is to answer your child’s questions and not those they didn’t ask or are not ready for - as they learn in increments, asking a question and getting an honest, concise answer that is age appropriate and then being able to ask a follow on question or come back to their parent later. “So they don’t learn about sex and other important topics by being given too much information at once. Your child may be interested in the biology of the topic or themes such as sexuality, age and consent. Parents can begin even in toilet training by using the correct names for body parts and explaining a little about the digestive system. This creates an atmosphere where asking about one’s body is normal and natural and to be encouraged. Then as situations arise such as a new baby in the family or a question about what your child has heard or seen on a screen or in person welcome questions and observations from your child. This way you will have a good idea what your child already knows and what you might decide to add to their knowledge.”

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Keep kids informed

Give accurate details

Mother of two, Helen Keogh, agrees and says when her two boys were young, she and her husband, unconsciously decided to answer questions on whatever topic was raised, whenever they were asked. “Children want to learn and are curious about everything around them,” she says. “My guys (now teenagers) asked about literally everything – wildlife, where food came from, what was happening on the news and so much more, including their own origins. “We never did a formal ‘sit down and we’ll explain’ session with them but instead it was more fluid and I could be cooking when a question would come up about babies and I would answer what they asked at the time in as childfriendly way as possible. They were about six and seven at the time and this always seemed to satisfy their curiosity and they would go off about their business. So when the time came for sexeducation classes in school, nothing was a surprise and equally they weren’t horrified or giggling hysterically like some of their classmates. I think, as parents, it is our job to educate our children on the facts of life and not make it into some massively big deal.”

Indeed, Peadar says parents should use plain language when explaining important topics to their children and this is especially important for a subject with complex biological and social constructs. “While it’s perfectly fine to talk about how they grew in their mother’s ‘belly’ some children will ask how food could get in the way of the baby and will need to have body parts more accurately described,” he says. “So start very simply and add more information as your child matures. Try your best, and I know this can be difficult, to not avoid any question or to tell fibs as you’ll only have to clarify in time. But don’t think you have to have all the answers there and then. It’s okay to say you are not sure about something or that you need to think about it or that you’d rather answer that question at home if you are asked a tough question while out and about. “Then give yourself the time to compose the answer you think is suitable for your child or fits your principles. Find a good children’s book in advance of needing one so that you can have a look and get comfortable with explanations – and be complimented that your child is coming to you for such important information.”

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Help!

My Child Wants to be a YouTuber!

Is your child obsessed with watching online videos? Elsje du Toit talks to the experts about the safety guidelines a parent needs to consider if their child wants to become a YouTube star

bout 10 years ago whenever you asked a child what she wanted to be when she grew up, the answer usually was something more in the line of a teacher, a doctor, or a police officer. However, whenever you ask children the same question today, the future for them have changed a bit. Nowadays you might get answers like “YouTuber” or “vlogger”. What does this mean and is there 82

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anything I should do? you’re probably asking. Don’t worry. Here’s all you need to know about the world of You Tubing and kids.

What is a ‘vlogger’ or ‘YouTuber’? If you take the words “video” and “blog” and put them together, you get “vlog”. It’s a form of blog for which the medium is video, and is a form of web television. The same goes for “YouTuber”. It is someone whose job it is to make YouTube videos about anything you can think of. The aim is to get as many subscribers to your YouTube channel, so that you can grab the attention of potential advertisers, and finally make some money. Some of the most well-known YouTubers include Jacksepticeye, a video game commentator and, according to Forbes, the most popular YouTuber in Ireland, (earned $16 million in 2018), 33-year-old musician and beauty vlogger Jeffree Star (earned $18 million in 2018) and the top

earner for 2018 Ryan ToysReview, a seven-year-old boy who reviews toys for other kids (earned $22 million in 2018). It all might sound glamorous and very easy to become YouTubers like these top-earners. In reality, you’re still posting things online and can make yourself extremely vulnerable to potential lurkers and other dangerous people out there.

Why do children want to become YouTubers? Dr Julie Meehan, a clinical psychologist, life coach and a mum says the subscribers and likes YouTubers often get can play a big role in why your child would want to be one. “As a society, we seem to be drawn more and more to believing that feeling good equates to receiving external validation and that those that receive it appears to be hugely influential. Influence and power have always been states that humans have naturally been drawn to, so it fits that children are seeing these YouTubers as desirable role models,” she says. easy parenting

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“It is an illusion, of course, this belief, and as parents, it can be helpful to reflect on whether or not we help to uphold these types of beliefs in society in relation to our own beliefs, values and way of being in the world.”

What must I do if my child tells me she wants to be a YouTuber? “Technology is escalating so fast, the human can hardly keep up, and it is all parents’ responsibilities to ensure that they are as informed as possible in this area,” Meehan says. Therefore it is extremely important to be aware of what your child is telling you and not react in a weird way to the news. Sometimes children drop requests on their parents out of the blue – often at the most inappropriate times when there are a million other things to do. “If this is the case, it is usually helpful to ask your child to hold the request until you find a time that both suits you, and where you have time to process the request. “While sometimes it is hard to ‘not react’ in a certain way, whatever request our children send our way, it is usually helpful to stop and pause before responding. In that way, we are more likely to respond rather than react.”

Ask questions Meehan says like anything your children bring to you, it is important that they feel that you listen to them and hear them. “So opening up to being receptive to your child is very valuable, even if you don’t consider the request a valid one, or a plausible one,” she says. “Typically children will intuitively feel if you are being receptive or not.” Therefore it’s wise to ask them questions “in an open and curious way”: Why would they like to become a YouTuber? Do they know any YouTubers? What do they like about them? Is there anything they don’t like? What idea do they have for their easy parenting

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YouTube channel? “Listen to their answers. Perhaps they have a really good idea that they would like to showcase.” If you do decide that your child can have a YouTube channel posting videos, it’s important to ensure that she is safe online.

Mum's story ‘I caught the boys giggling in a corner and knew immediately they were up to something. After an hour of questioning them they finally admitted that the younger one (age 10) had set up a YouTube account and was sharing his latest football cards on his brand new channel. He already had four videos live! After monitoring it with him for a week he lost interest – as I suspected he might. However – a few days ago he spilt water on his tablet and now can’t get back into his account. And he doesn’t know his password which mean we may never get it down. Staying on top of children’s social media and online accounts from the very start is vital.'

How to talk to my child about cyber-safety Meehan says it’s important to take your child’s age in consideration. “A six-year-old child will likely have a rather concrete view of cause and effect, whereas a 12-year-old will typically be able to think in more abstract ways, and make more fluid inferences on the information that is shared,” she says. “On top of that, you need to think about their particular personality styles, and whether they have a tendency to almost ‘over think’ any information they receive, or whether they are more likely to take it in their stride and move on.” She says it’s helpful to use everyday examples to illustrate any points you’re trying to make. “In general, we make better and more conscious decisions when we are well informed rather than when we are scared – this goes for children too!”

How to ensure cyber-safety Meehan’s number one tip for online safety is accurate knowledge and awareness. “I would strongly advise any family who have a family member that wishes to embark on such a project that they all sign up for an internet/cyber-safety awareness course. And trust your gut on this: If something doesn’t feel right, stop and listen to what that might be.”

Kate

Other general tips to follow whenever your child wants to have an online profile, like a YouTube channel: • Make the YouTube account private – This means you’ll have to approve anyone who wants to subscribe and view the content you’re posting. • Turn off commenting and ‘liking’ – If you don’t want to make the account private (as it can have an implication on the number of subscribers the channel gets), turn off the ability for viewers to comment and click “like” or “dislike”. Negative comments can have a serious effect on a child and can often lead to online bullying. • Keep it anonymous – The more information about you and your child you’re posting online, the easier it is to track your family. When you’re setting up the bio section, don’t include your or your child’s real name, surname or pictures. If your child gets to post the video’s herself, always preview them before to make sure there is nothing that can identify her or your family.

Be informed Meehan recommends that parents read cyber-psychologist Mary Aiken’s book The Cyber Effect ( www.maryaiken.com/ ) to be sure you’re informed about the field your child wants to enter. 83

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“Cyber-safety, or lack thereof, has been called one of the greatest child protection risks of our time by the ISPCC. It is essential that we begin to take it seriously so that we can all enjoy the benefits that ever-changing technology and platforms can offer.”

More information • Cyber Safe Ireland – https:// cybersafeireland.org/ or info@cybersafeireland.org • eSafety – http://esafety.ie/ or 087 997 0834 • Zeeko – https://zeeko.ie/, info@zeeko.ie or 01-906-0291

About Dr Julie Meehan Julie is passionate about supporting parents to directly experience and apply their own wisdom and intuition to their relationships with their children, their whole families and themselves. She has over 18 years’ experience working with children, parents and families in different capacities, including 11 years in the HSE. She now works in a private capacity offering individual parental support sessions, groups and workshops.

Helpful reads for parents 84

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The Cyber Effect by Mary Aiken, €14.85

Staying safe online by Louie Stowell, €7.98

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Vitamins A

to Z

It’s really important that children get enough vitamins in their diet in order to develop and grow properly. Elsje du Toit gives us a guide of each vitamin and its function

ating a healthy diet is essential for every person living on earth. It’s a way to make sure your body gets all the nutrients it needs to function properly. Here is a guide you can follow to make sure your family gets all the essential vitamins and minerals.

Vitamin A (Retinol)

What are vitamins?

Good sources of vitamin A • Cheese • Eggs • Oily fish, such as makerel • Milk • Fortified low-fat spreads • Yoghurt • Liver You should be able to get all the vitamin A you need from your daily diet. It’s very important that you should avoid multivitamins containing vitamin A if you’re pregnant or thinking of having a baby. Do not eat liver or liver products, such as pâté, when you’re pregnant because these are very high in vitamin A and it can harm your unborn baby.

According to the HSE there are two types of vitamins: • Fat-soluble vitamins – These are found in mainly in foods such as animal fats. You don’t need to eat foods containing them every day because your body stores them in your liver and fatty tissues for future use. • Water-soluble vitamins – These are not stored in your body, so you need to have them more frequently. Watersoluble vitamins are found in fruit, vegetables and grains

What are minerals? The HSE says minerals are necessary for three main reasons: • Building strong bones and teeth • Controlling body fluids inside and outside cells • Turning the food you eat into energy easy parenting

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Main functions include: • Strengthening immunity against infections • Helping vision in dim light • Keeping skin and the linings of some parts of the body, such as the nose, healthy

Vitamin B1 (Thiamin) Main functions include: • It helps your body to turn food into energy as it helps to break it down.

• It helps to keep nerves and muscle tissue healthy Good sources of thiamin • Pork • Vegetables • Milk • Cheese • Peas • Fresh and dried fruit • Eggs • Wholegrain breads • Some fortified breakfast cereals If you’re pregnant or breastfeeding, you’ll need a little more of this vitamin. People with diabetes tend to have low levels of it.

Vitamin B2 (Riboflavin) Main functions include: • Keeping skin, eyes and the nervous system healthy • Producing steroids and red blood cells Good sources of riboflavin: • Milk • Eggs • Fortified breakfast cereals • Rice • Mushrooms 85

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According to the HSE UV light can destroy riboflavin. Therefore foods that are rich in riboflavin should be kept out of direct sunlight.

Vitamin B3 (Niacin) Main functions include: • Helps to produce energy from the foods we eat • Helps to keep the nervous and digestive systems healthy • Helps to protect your skin and tissues Good sources of niacin: • Meat • Fish • Wheat flour • Maize flour • Eggs • Milk According to the HSE there are two forms of niacin: nicotinic acid and nicotinamide. Both of these are found in foods we eat. Niacin can’t be stored in the body, so you’ll need to have some of it every day.

Vitamin B6 (Pyridoxine) Main functions include: • It allows the body to use and store energy from protein and carbohydrates in food • It helps to form haemoglobin, the substance in our blood that carries oxygen around the body

Top Tip

Good sources of vitamin B6: Try to include fruit/vegetables in each of your • Pork child's meals. For example, chopped banana • Chicken on cereal, homemade veggie soup for lunch, • Turkey and always offer vegetables or salad as • Cod a side with dinner. • Bread • Whole cereals, such as oatmeal, wheat germ and rice Because vitamin B12 is not found in • Eggs foods such as fruit, vegetables and grains, • Vegetables vegans may not get enough of this vitamin. • Bananas According to the HSE a lack of vitamin • Soya beans B12 could lead to vitamin B12 deficiency • Peanuts anaemia. • Milk Vitamin C (Ascorbic acid) • Potatoes Main functions include: • Some fortified breakfast cereals • It helps to protect cells in your body and As it’s a water-soluble vitamin, you need keep them healthy it in your diet every day because it can’t be • It’s necessary for the maintenance of stored in your body. healthy connective tissue, which gives Vitamin B12 support and structure for other tissue and Main functions include: organs • Making red blood cells and keeping the nervous system healthy Good sources: • Releasing energy from the food we eat • Peppers Processing folic acid • Broccoli • Brussel sprouts Good sources: • Sweet potatoes • Meat • Citrus fruits • Salmon • Strawberries • Cod • Kiwi • Milk A lack of vitamin C can lead to scurvy, • Cheese which was a common problem for sailors • Eggs on long voyages during the eighteenth • Yeast extract century because their diet lacked fresh fruit • Some fortified breakfast cereals and veggies.

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Family Calcium Main functions include: • It helps building strong bones and teeth • It regulates muscle contractions, including you hearbeat • It ensures that blood clots normally Good sources: • Dairy foods, like milk and cheese • Green leafy vegetables, like broccoli and cabbage • Soya beans • Tofu • Soya drinks with added calcium • Nuts • Bread and anything made with flour • Fish where you eat the bones, such as sardines and pilchards According to the HSE you should be able to get all the calcium you need from your daily diet. However, high doses of it can lead to stomach pain and diarrhoea.

Vitamin D Main functions include: • It plays a role in fighting germs • It helps regulate the amount of calcium and phosphate in the body, whiche are needed to keep bones and teeth healthy Good sources: • The main source of vitamin D comes from sunlight on our skin • Oily fish, such as salmon and sardines • Eggs • Fortified fat spreads

• Fortified breakfast cereals • Powdered milk Because it’s a fat-soluble vitamin, you don’t need it every day. However, if you do not get enough of it, you might be more at risk of some of the harmful effects of too much vitamin A.

Vitamin E Main functions include: It helps protect cell membranes from damage caused by cigarette smoke, pollution, sunlight and more. Good sources: • Soya • Corn • Olive oil • Nuts and seeds • Wheat germ, found in cereals and cereal products Vitamin E is also a fat-soluble vitamin which means you don’t need it in your diet every day.

Vitamin K Main functions include: • It is needed for blood clotting, meaning • it’ll help your wounds heal properly • It also helps keep your bones healthy Good sources: • Green leafy vegetables, such as broccoli and spinach • Vegetable oils • Cereals

Iodine Main functions include: • It helps make the thyroid hormones, hormones that help to keep cells and the metabolic rate healthy. Good sources: • It’s a trace element found in seawater, rocks and some types of soil • Good food sources include sea fish and shellfish • Cereals and grains If you take high doses of iodine for long periods of time, it could change the way your thyroid gland works, which can lead to a wide range of different symptoms such as weight gain.

Top Tip

The best way to ensure your child receives enough vitamins and minerals for normal growth and development is to provide a wide variety of fresh foods from the five food groups including whole grain breads and cereals, vegetables, fruit, meat, fish, poultry, eggs, nuts and legumes, and dairy products such as milk, cheese and yoghurt.

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Family Iron Main functions include: • It helps make red blood cells, which carry oxygen around the body Good sources: • Liver • Meat • Beans • Nuts • Dried fruit, such as dried apricots • Wholegrains, such as brown rice • Fortified breakfast cereals • Soybean flour • Most dark-green leafy vegetables, such as watercress and curly kale Many people think that spinach is a good source of iron, but according to the HSE it also contains a substance that makes it harder for the body to absorb the iron from it. Similarly, tea and coffee contain a substance that can make it harder for the body to absorb iron. Therefore, cutting down on tea and coffee could help improve iron levels.

Magnesium Main functions include: • It helps to turn the food we eat into energy • It helps make sure the prathyroid glands, which produce hormones important for bone health, work normally Good sources: • Green leafy vegetables, such as spinach • Nuts • Bread • Fish • Meat • Dairy foods Magensium is a mineral which you should be able to get all of it you need by eating a varied and balanced diet.

Potassium • Main functions include: • Controlling the balance of fluids in the body • Possibly helping lower blood pressure Good sources: • Bananas easy parenting

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• Vegetables • Pulses • Nuts and seeds • Milk • Fish • Shellfish • Beef • Chicken • Turkey • Bread Potassium is a mineral which you should be able to get all of it you need by eating a varied and balanced diet.

Zinc Main functions include: • It helps make new cells and enzymes • It helps us process carbohydrate, fat and protein in food • It helps with the healing of wounds Good sources: • Meat • Shellfish • Milk • Dairy foods, such as cheese • Bread • Cereal products, such as wheat germ Zinc is a trace element which you should be able to get all of it you need in a varied and balanced diet. How can I ensure my family gets all of these vitamins and minerals? It can be quite hard to ensure that your family gets all of these essentials they need every day. To make things a bit easier, why not opt for a good multivitamin. If you’re unsure, talk to your doctor or other health care professional to find the best solution for your loved ones.

Omega 3 Omega 3 are essential fatty acids.

Main functions include: • Helping with cognitive development. Research shows that children born to mothers who took supplements of omega-3s during pregnancy and during the first months of breastfeeeding scored higher on cognitive tests at four years old, compared to kids whose mothers didn’t take the supplements. • Other studies have found that omega 3 supplements might help to improve behaviour, reduce hyperactvivity, and boost attention in children under 12 years. Good sources: • Oil-rich fish, such as salmon, mackerel or herring. • Flaxseeds • Olive oil • Omega-3 supplements

Kids and vitamin supplements All children from 0-12 months should be given vitamin D3 supplements daily (5ug). There are specific supplements specially formulated for babies that are available in your pharmacy. Once your toddler has a balanced diet, they may not require any vitamin supplements, but an age-appropriate multivitamin will not do any harm either. Always check they are age-appropriate and that they are stored in a cupboard where the children cannot access them. Some of them can look like sweets and therefore very tempting to a child. Also remember that supplements are not a substitute for whole foods and are there to complement the diet. If your child is a fussy eater, give them a multivitamin in addition to taking steps to improve their eating habits. 89

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Here’s the

GOOD STUFF

The latest parenting, health and lifestyle products

HAPPY SOOTHING

To celebrate the 90th anniversary of Mickey and Minnie Mouse selected NUK products will feature a gorgeous retro Disney design. This include the NUK Trendline Silicone Soother (RRP €7.80), the NUK Soother Chain (RRP €5.50), the NUK First Choice+ Bottle 300ml 6-8 months (RRP €7.70), the NUK First Choice+ Learner Bottle 150ml (RRP €7.95) and the NUK Magic Cup 260ml 8months+ (RRP R9.95). Available in selected pharmacies nationwide.

New name

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Mix a unique bled of luxe fabrics, quirky patterns and stylish design and you have BabyBoo – the go-to online portal for gorgeous, stand-out baby wear that is not only beautiful but practical too. From organic cotton blankets to super-absorbent bibs, BabyBoo produces beautiful clothing for little ones aged newborn to five years, using the best quality fabric where possible. For more info and prices of the different products go to www.babyboo.ie.

The National Charity for Deafness and Hearing Loss (formerly DeafHear) has officially relaunched as “Chime”. With the relaunch, Chime was delighted to announce details of Ireland’s first information phone line dedicated to hearing loss. 1 in 7 people in Ireland will experience hearing loss during their lifetime and statistics show that it takes Irish people with hearing loss up to ten years to take action. Inaction on hearing loss leads to gradual social isolation, frustration and loss of confidence and cognitive decline. For more information or advice visit www.chime.ie or call 1800 256 257.

Healthy vegetarian

Whether you’re a Vegetarian or Flexitarian, Beeline Healthcare just launched a new multivitamin suitable for your diet. It contains 25 key nutrients in easy to swallow vegetarian multivitamin tablets (from €8.25) or vegetarian multivitamin effervescent tablets (from €7.25) which provides a great tasting sparkling citrus drink. It’ll help maintain vitality and wellbeing and contributes to the reduction of tiredness and fatigue and helps with mental performance. Available nationwide in leading supermarkets and pharmacies such as Boots. 90

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Tasty nutrients Wellkid Multi-vitamin Liquid has been produced with children’s specific needs in mind to provide a comprehensive range of 15 nutrients, plus Swiss Alpine malt to help safeguard your child’s nutritional intake. It comes in a great tasting natural orange flavour that kids will love. For more info, visit www.wellkid.ie RRP: €10.49 easy parenting

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Family Flawless

Dermalogica has introduced two solutions for the ever-increasing population of individuals who are prone to dry skin: a newly reformulated Intensive Moisture Balance moisturiser (RRP €51.00/50ml tube) and NEW Intensive Moisture Cleanser (RRP €42.00/150ml bottle with pump) – both featuring a state-of-the-art BioReplenish Complex. These products do more than just rehydrate dry skin: they restore and transform skin. Available at authorised Dermalogica spas, salons and skin centres and at www.dermalogica.ie.

Citrus burst

Cleanmarine Orange Burst for Kids - Omega 3 & Vitamin D is a delicious Valencia orange flavoured Omega 3 liquid. Taste approved by kids! Orange Burst is ideal for those who have trouble swallowing capsules. Each 5ml serving contains 100% RDI of Vitamin D3 to help build strong bones. RRP €12.99

Healthy pregnancy

Pregnacare Liquid is a scientifically developed formulation of 18 important vitamins and minerals, including 400mcg folic acid, the exact level recommended by the Department of Health. Pregnacare Liquid has been carefully developed by experts so that all ingredient levels are within safe levels for pregnancy and are moderate rather than excessive. For more info, visit www.pregnacare.ie RRP: €11.99

Changing made easy

Want to ease the stress of nappy changing battles and make it a little calmer, quicker and less frustrating? The Wriggler is the first portable changing mat designed specifically for babies who wriggle during nappy changing. Its innovative kneepad design gently hugs the child and anchores the mat in place, preventing flipping and rolling and reeing up the parent’s hands for fast and easy changing. The premium quality materials are BPA, phthalate, lead and PVC free. It is fully wipeable so messes can be wiped clean in seconds. It’s available at www.thewriggler.co RRP: €39.99 easy parenting

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Skin Saviour

Offering a unique combination of menthol to stop the itch and ceramides to replenish the lost moisture in dry skin, the Suu Balm range has something to suit the whole family, through pregnancy and from birth to older age. These gentle products relieve the itch in minutes and soothe the dryness associated with many skin conditions, allowing a good night’s sleep for everyone. An ultra-gentle soap-free wash and a moisturiser that soothes dry, itchy skin, Suu Balm is the solution for the whole family. Available in Lloyds Pharmacies and online www.inishpharmacy.com . For more info go to www.suubalm.com.

Goodbye dry skin

Bio-Oil Dry Skin Gel is an innovative new body care product that’s 100% active, easily absorbed and clinically proven to significantly improve dry skin. It’s the first product in over 30 years from the creators of Bio-Oil. Bio-Oil Dry Skin Gel is suitable for all skin types, including sensitive skin, in adults and children over three years. Available at Lloyds, McCabes, Sam McCauleys and Bio-Oil stockists nationwide. RRP: €6.95 (50ml) 91

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Parenting truth: If kids came with warning labels In the first of a new series, mum of two Geraldine Walsh shares some parenting truths that she has picked up over the last five years

hen my one-year-old thought colliding with the door frame was a good idea, I wasn’t ready for the high-pitched, aching scream which shouldn’t thunder out of such a tiny body. I didn’t want to get acquainted with an ugly, raw bump which terrifyingly grew in nanoseconds. The frightening swelling was bigger than her baby button nose, already black and angry, her cheeks a mess of tears and blotchy red from crying and her sad eyes desperately asking me, “Mammy, what happened?” What happened is exactly what I was thinking as I wrestled her with a cold face cloth, routinely checked her pupils, her balance, prepared myself for vomiting and a rush to the Emergency Room. If only I knew what happened or had the ability to pre-empt yet another epic disaster such as the “falling down the stairs” incident of 2015 with our older kid. Dissecting the split second the one-year-old went from happily walking to stumbling, tumbling and crashing, is a puzzle for the science books. Past the baby wobbles, she gained her sturdy, running feet too quickly for this Momma Bear who forgot the number one toddler rule: Don’t let them out of your sight. 92

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She was tiny when she was born but seems to have grown up quicker than our first daughter. She appears more robust, adventurous and daring than her sister was at this age. But then, she’s a copycat and her big sister's shadow, mimicking everything the five-year-old does without a care or notion that she may be too little to jump all over the furniture. Watching her walk down the corridor is rarely a moment of panic but there she was with a knock on her head the size of an in-season strawberry.

For the five-year-old, the label would read: Warning: May come with unexplainable emotional outbursts ordinarily relieved by hugs or promises of sugar. Probable likelihood of incomprehensible cuts and bruises requiring special bandaging of the unicorn or Batman variety – always ask preference before applying to superficial wound. Inability to pay attention for longer than 2.4 seconds. Refusal to eat anything other than chocolate toast on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sunday mornings – ensure toast is cut at the correct angle depending on the mood of the day. Avoidance of chores is not uncommon however spontaneous making of the bed and tidying away toys has been known to happen – be warned of expectation of treats in this instance. Delirious cuteness can occur – treat with caution.

And for the one-year-old: Geraldine, writer and blogger.

A giant warning label on her back saying, “I’m still only one. Catch me!” would have been ideal. If only kids came with warning labels, a manual and a parent/toddler dictionary. If I’d known having kids would mean red flags in every corner of the house, I’d have baby proofed every room before I even got pregnant, turning every inch into padded rooms with industrial locks on the oven doors and a warning label covering each leg of their jeans and down one arm.

Warning: Will collide, trip, stumble, fall, roll, bounce and ricochet off of everything. Sore gums, sore bums, overtiredness and the inability to voice their aches and pains will result in awkward and cranky toddlers, with just cause – approach cautiously. Anything purple will cause hyperactivity including the purple chalk and crayons. Anything green will not be eaten unless it’s on the floor. Tantrums will always escalate if their lovey is not at hand – warning, invest in multiple loveys. The problem is, if kids came with warning labels we'd still need a manual to figure out how they work in the first place. easy parenting

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Family cooking inspiration

In the kitchen In this section 94 Winter warmers 96 Pancake perfection

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Winter

In the kitchen

Warmers Try these two comforting dishes from Jolene Cox

Beef goulash The hearty smell of a beef goulash wafting through the house, simmering away in its cast iron pot or slow cooker, is enough to make it a family favourite in any home. For a traditional Hungarian dish, Beef goulash is the perfect match for our Irish climate. On a wet blustery day a wholesome recipe like this erases the worries of school or work, making them a distant memory. It has magic of thawing you out while warming you up and giving you the tiniest little hug. To me that’s what home cooking is all about. Ingredients Serves 4 500g of stewing beef pieces, remove all visible fat 1tsp olive oil 1tbsp plain flour 1 large onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced 3 large beef tomatoes, diced 1 red pepper, thinly sliced 2tbsp tomato puree 1tbsp sweet paprika 94

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½tbsp of smoked paprika 300ml of beef stock made from one stock cube 1 small bunch of flat leaf parsley, chopped 2tbsp crème fraiche to finish off 1 Heat a teaspoon of olive oil in a heavy-based saucepan, or a casserole dish, with a lid 2 Sprinkle the beef with the flour and brown well in a pan over a medium heat. 3 When it's browned, take out with a slotted spoon and leave to one side in a covered dish while you chop your onion, tomatoes and red pepper. 4 Fry all the veggies with the garlic until softened. Add in the tomato puree and paprika, and give a good mix. 5 Finally add your beef back in and pour over the beef stock. 6 Cover with the lid and cook on the hob on a gentle heat for about three and a half hours. 7 Stir in your chopped parsley. Add a good dollop of crème fraiche before serving with rice. This dish is slow cooker friendly, add Crème fraiche at the end of slow cooking.

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In the kitchen

Satay chicken Chicken satay is one of my all-time favourite dishes. I’ve re-written this recipe so many times; I’ve cooked it and practiced it over and over again. Tweaking it, to taste just enough subtle spice while getting that fresh crunchy peanut sauce. I think I’ve finally mastered it with this recipe making it as close to a Chinese restaurant you can get. You can add in some pineapple, green pepper or mushrooms if you want to up the veggie intake, but to be honest, I like it as it is and served with stir fried vegetables on the side. Ingredients Serves 4 4 chicken breasts 1tbsp of sesame oil 1 onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1cm cube of fresh ginger, grated 2tbsp mild curry powder (hot curry powder if you like it spicy) 1tbsp soy sauce 3tbsp sweet chili sauce ½tsp chili powder 3tbsp crunchy peanut butter 150ml water 1 Preheat oven to 180°C/gas mark 4. 2 Heat the sesame oil over a medium heat in a wok. 3 Add the chopped chicken breasts and fry for around 15 minutes until cooked, remove and leave to one side. Add the chopped onion and fry until soft. 4 Chuck in your crushed garlic cloves and grated ginger, and fry for a minute. 5 Stir in the curry powder and let it cook for another minute (the smell will be amazing!) 6 Add in the soy sauce. Finally, mix in the sweet chili sauce, chili powder and peanut butter, and stir. 7 Pour over the water to loosen the whole recipe, then blend it all with a hand blender. 8 Add the cooked chicken back in to the sauce, and give a good stir and season with a little salt and pepper. Serve with rice. easy parenting

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About Jolene Jolene started out as a live-in nanny over 17 years ago feeding the families of Dublin wholesome tasty food on a budget. Her passions involve developing and creating easy, healthy, tasty recipes for the whole family. www.oneyummymummy.com 95

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Pancake perfection Impress your family with these must-have pancake recipes

The Ultimate (Thin) Pancake Mix Serves 4 This manages to be both indulgent and really healthy (well, as healthy as any cake gets!). The recipe includes wholemeal spelt flour, which gives the loaf a moreish nuttiness. Whisk together 2 large eggs, 180ml milk, 120ml water, 120g plain flour and 45g melted butter until smooth. Cover and refrigerate for one hour. Melt some butter in a frying pan over a medium-high heat. Pour some batter into the bottom of the pan, then lift and tilt the pan around so the batter forms an even coating. Cook for 40 seconds, then flip and cook for another 10 seconds. Keep warm.

The Ultimate (Fluffy) Pancake Mix Serves 6 Sift 135g plain flour, 1 tsp baking powder, a pinch of salt and 2 tbsp caster sugar into a mixing bowl. Whisk together 130ml milk, 1 beaten egg and 2 tbsp melted butter. Stir into the flour mixture. Leave to sit for a few minutes until slightly thickened. Melt some butter in a frying pan over a medium-high heat. Cook ladles of the batter in the pan, flipping when bubbles form in the centre of the pancake.

These recipes are from our sister magazine easy food. Go to www.easyfood.ie to find more delicious recipes, plus cooking tips and tricks.

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In the kitchen

Strawberry shortcake pancake Makes 6 1 x ultimate thin pancake mix 100g strawberries, fresh or frozen 1 tbsp caster sugar 50g cream cheese 50g whipped cream, plus extra for topping 5 digestive biscuits, crushed easy parenting

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1 Prepare the pancakes according to the recipe. 2 Add the strawberries and sugar to a saucepan over a medium heat. Bring to a simmer, stirring regularly, for 5-7 minutes until thickened. Remove from the heat and leave to cool.

3 Beat the cream cheese and whipped cream until combined, then gently stir through half of the berry mixture. 4 Use the mixture to fill the pancakes, then top with more whipped cream and a drizzle of the berry sauce. Sprinkle over the crushed biscuits. 97

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15/02/2019 14:48

Get crafty

Put your creative hat on and get busy with some make-anddo and family fun activities

In this section 100 Embrace nature 102 Colour bursts in a jar

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Embrace nature

Sadbh These lovely make and do ideas from t Devlin will allow the kids to learn abou nature while they’re creating crafts

Crafts expert Sadhbh Devlin

Wiggly Caterpillar This friendly caterpillar would make a lovely addition to a story telling session about his famous hungry friend or could prompt discussion about the lifecycle of the butterfly. You could just have fun making it and playing with it either! You Will Need: A4 Paper in two different colours Ruler Pencil Scissors Marker Glue Stick Googly eyes (optional) Method: 1 Using the ruler and pencil mark out the ‘body’ of the caterpillar in your chosen colour. A 7cm margin down one length and a 2cm margin down the opposite length. (You will fold along these lines.) 2 Next, mark out 2cm intervals along the length of the smaller margin. This is to help keep the strips you will be cutting even. 3 Fold along the margin lines and then cut the 2cm strips, crossways, into the sheet, stopping at the wider margin line. 4 Use the glue to stick down the strips as shown. 5 Cut out two ‘head and neck’ shapes, add the face (and some antennae if you like!) and glue them to one end of the body.

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Crafts & Activities Cheery Cherry Blossom Tree Celebrate the Spring season by bringing nature indoors! This pretty cherry blossom tree is so simple to make and would look lovely as part of a nature table. You Will Need: Sticks and Twigs Glue Coloured Card or paper Pink Tissue paper Method: 1 Collect some small twigs and sticks. 2 Arrange the sticks and twigs on a piece of coloured paper or card to create the shape of a tree. When you are happy with the position of the sticks, glue them in place. 3 Rip the tissue paper into small pieces and scrunch them up into little balls. This is really good for developing fine motor skills! 4 Glue the tissue paper ‘blossoms’ onto your tree.

About Sadhbh Sadhbh Devlin has always been told she has a head for hats. In truth, she only owns two hats, both woollen and shapeless. She does, however, wear many metaphorical hats. She is mother to five-year-old twin girls, wife to a very tall husband, a crafter, a party-lover, an avid photo snapper, a sometime production designer and soon-to-be TV presenter. She writes about all of these hats and more at her award-winning blog www.wherewishescomefrom.com. Find her on Twitter @wherewishes

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Crafts & Activities

Add some colour to your day with this fun colour burst experiment from Dr Naomi Lavelle

YOU WILL NEED: • • • •

Water A jar or glass Sunflower (or vegetable) oil Food colouring (and a dropper if you have one)

WHAT TO DO: 1 Fill the jar two-thirds full with water. 2 Carefully fill the rest of the jar with the sunflower oil; you may need to let this settle for a few minutes until the oil layer sits on top of the water layer.

3 Now for the fun bit… add some food colouring to the top of the oil layer, a few drops at a time.

4 Watch what happens. When the food colouring passes

through the water layer it expands into streaks, creating colour bursts in the jar. (Depending on the brand of food colouring, it may sit first between the two layers.)

THE SCIENCE BIT: With this colourful experiment children can learn about density and how some materials mix together, and some don’t. Firstly, the water and oil don’t mix together, they stay as separate layers, with the oil sitting on top of the water. That is because oil is said to be less dense than water. Secondly, the food colouring does not mix with (or dissolve in) the oil. So the coloured drops will fall through the oil layer without any changes. However, the food colouring does dissolve in water, this causes the colour to diffuse out into the water as the drops fall to the bottom of the glass, giving that lovely fireworks type display. 102

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Ask

the expert team

NINE PAGES OF EXPERT ADVICE FROM OUR EXPERT PANEL 4

TRACY DONEGAN

DAVID KAVANAGH

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YOU ASKED ABOUT

Treating UTIs in pregnancy and when to expect to feel baby kicking ASK THE MIDWIFE

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AVEEN BANNON

FIONA O’CONNOR

DR SARA O’BYRNE

YOU ASKED ABOUT:

What to do if your partner stonewalls you

Encouraging a 16-month-old to eat more foods

Gentle exercise to help reduce stress and anxiety

Helping a child to overcome excessive worrying

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NUTRITION AND DIET

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EMOTIONAL HEALTH

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DR JAMES RYAN

FIONA O’FARRELL

LOUISE BARRETT

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LUCY WOLFE

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Other routes to try before IVF

Helping a four-year-old to develop fine motor skills for starting school

What to consider before choosing crèche

Helping baby to fall asleep by herself

WOMEN’S HEALTH

CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT

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CHILDREN AND SLEEP

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Do you have a question you want answered? Email expert@easyparenting. ie. Send it to us and we’ll get one of our experts to answer it for you. The answer will appear in the next issue!

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FITNESS

Ask

Fiona Physiotherapist Fiona O’Connor answers your questions Fiona is a chartered physiotherapist who specialises women’s health. She has About inMargaret anMargaret MSc in Pelvic FloorisDysfunction and is Dunne an accredited a psychotherapist certified pilates instructor. She is based who specialises inin Kerry Physiotherapy in Killarney, fertility, psychosexual and where she runs post-natal pilates classes relationships therapy. She and treats women years’ for pelvic health issues. has twenty experience She also created Bye Bye Bump, in as has a fertility counsellor and conjunction with TheMargaret Bump Room, psychotherapist. has which is appeared an online post natal rehabilitation on various radio shows. programme based on modified pilates www.sextherapydublin.com and strength training.

My baby boy was born four months ago and it was quite a traumatic birth. Since then I have been suffering with a bit of stress and anxiety since then. My doctor has recommended that I try a gentle exercise plan to help. What are some gentle exercises I can do to help a bit with my stress and anxiety levels?

it improves thinking and problem-solving. Exercise is also a great way to release pent-up tension and reduce feelings of fear and worry and can help reduce tightness and tension held throughout the body. It can be overwhelming to try and carve out the time, space and strength for anything when you have a little baby, let alone exercise but if you start off slowly and build up gradually you will notice the benefits both physically and mentally.

Belly-breathing Taking 5-10 minutes daily to connect

with your breathing is a great place to start on your recovery. Not only does this have a calming action on the mind but a good breathing pattern optimises pelvic floor and abdominal function which is the foundation for a strong body. Lie on your back, place one hand on your belly, and the other on your chest. Take a deep breath for a count of four. Exhale for a count of five. The hand on your chest should remain relatively still, while the hand on your belly rises gently upward. As this becomes easier you can add in flattening your lower back onto the

ecovery from a traumatic birth takes time and you should have patience with yourself. Exercise, however, is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. It increases levels of the feel-good chemicals in the brain (like serotonin and endorphins), which leads to improved quality of sleep, and

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ground as your exhale, and release your lower back as you inhale. This adds in some mobility work in your lower back and pelvis.

Walking Walking really is great exercise as you move your entire body and increase your heart rate. You get the added benefit of being able to bring your baby along with you in the buggy, however I would suggest to try and get out on your own as well, as you can get a good arm swing when your hands are free. Walking outside, and spending some time in nature can have even more beneficial mental health effects. A recent study found that people who took a walk in a wooded area had lowered stress hormones than those who took a walk in an urban city.

Gentle Classes A local class maybe an option for you and gives the added benefits of meeting up with other new mums.

Yoga This one may not come as the biggest surprise, but a regular yoga practice is an excellent way to keep your anxiety in check. The combination of breath, movement, and meditation is a recipe for calm. You will often find mum and baby yoga classes in your locality which are specifically tailored to women after having a baby. Alternatively if you would like to do an evening class without your baby, look for gentle yoga class like Hatha yoga or a class specifically for relaxation.

Pilates Pilates is another class to consider. There are many post natal specific classes around the country, many of which are mum and baby classes. There is a focus on breathwork, posture and strengthening

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which can do wonders for self-esteem. There are also some fantastic online programmes which you can follow from the comfort of your own home.

When You’re Ready to Move Up Once you have established a regular exercise habit you may want to increase to more intensive exercise. Added intensity will burn away more stress hormones and improve neurotransmitter release. Scientists have found that regular participation in aerobic exercise has been shown to decrease overall levels of tension, elevate and stabilize mood, improve sleep, and

improve self-esteem. That mentioned, you have experienced a difficult birth it is best to get checked out by your local chartered physiotherapist who specialises in women’s health for an assessment prior to more intensive exercise, to ensure your pelvic floor and abdominal muscles are ready for impact. You can find a list of chartered physiotherapists who specialise in women’s health on www.iscp.ie. I wish you all the best on your recovery. Start gently and build as you are feeling more able.

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DIET & NUTRITION

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Aveen

Consultant dietitian Aveen Bannon answers your nutrition and diet questions

Q About Aveen

Aveen has practiced widely in hospitals both in Ireland and the UK prior to setting up the Dublin Nutrition Centre in 2003. She graduated from Trinity College with a BSc. (Hons) (Human Nutrition and Dietetics) and completed a business diploma in Smurfit Business School. She is also a current member of the I.N.D.I (Irish Nutrition & Dietetic Institute), is trained in the low FODMAP diet and has completed level 2 behaviour change training. Since setting up the Dublin Nutrition Centre Aveen has provided nutrition services to many health institutions including RehabCare, ARC Cancer Support Centre and the Marie Keating Foundation. Tel: 01-6398852. E-mail: aveen@dnc.ie

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My 16-month-old has a very small appetite and isn’t that interested in food. She loves drinking cows milk and enjoys her morning porridge, but lunch, dinner and in between snacks are a challenge. Despite all this, she’s a happy, and energetic child. I’m worried however that she’s not getting the necessary nutrients she needs to properly grow. Are there any foods you recommend that I should feed her, or anything that I can do to encourage her to eat more?

One thing is to ensure that she is not getting too much milk between 400-500 ml per is about right. Sometimes if baby drinks a lot of milk it can curb their appetite for food. Offer a variety of foodstuffs and colour to them at mealtimes and allow them to play and handle food. It takes a baby up to 12 times before they know if they like a food. But on occasion it may be the texture, colour, smell or look of food as opposed to taste so that’s why letting them play with food can be beneficial. Firstly, just watch the volume of milk.

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CHILDREN’S DEVELOPMENT

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Fiona

Occupational therapist Fiona O’Farrell answers your questions about your child’s development

About Fiona

Fiona O’Farrell BSc. O.T. consultant paediatric occupational therapist specialising in baby development, sleep difficulties and premature babies. Validated By Department of Health. Board Member for Irish Neonatal Health Alliance. Fiona is a mum of three and strives to reassure parents the best ways to give their child the best start in life and get a good night’s sleep. For one to one consultations and further information. www.fionaofarrell.ie

My child is four and half years and starts school next September. I have read it is important for a child to have good fine motor skills as they can help with learning later on. What can I do as a parent to help my son improve and develop his fine motor skills over the next few months?

Well done on thinking ahead as to how you can help prepare your son for school. Otherwise referred to as school readiness. Yes, you are correct, fine motor skills are very important as proficiency in these skills are needed for a range of skills from being able to do one’s

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buttons, zip a coat, open lunch box, manipulate small objects and form letters to later being able to keep up with academic needs of writing at a later stage in the school curriculum. However, fine motor skills are part of a sequence of development and prior to the development of the finer motor skills, your son first needs to develop certain pre-requisite skills. These I refer to as the foundation skills and development of these are needed before your son will master and accomplish the fine motor skills. Your son will need to have developed sufficient shoulder, arm and wrist movements, stability and strength before proficiency in the finer motor skills. He will also need to have developed sufficient hand-eye coordination as well as appropriate sensory processing skills and perceptual skills. To help ensure your son develops all the pre-requisite skills which will be needed to help not only develop the fine motor skills but also endurance to the task he is completing e.g. being able to keep up with writing without tiring and being able to sit, focus and concentrate on the task he is completing. I would suggest encouraging your son to practise the following activities: Pulling oneself up a slide, negotiating a climbing frame, jumping on the spot and over a line on the ground as well as belly crawling where your son is encouraged to crawl on his stomach using his arms to pull himself– these are all fantastic activities for your son. Now that Spring will soon be here, you might like to encourage activities where your son gets

involved in gardening. Activities such as pushing a play wheelbarrow, filling it up and emptying it, digging and pouring are all great for the development of the necessary pre-requisite skills needed for fine motor skill development. At this stage it is more important that your son has developed the necessary prerequisite skills as once in school your son’s teacher will encourage engagement with activities to target his fine motor skills for e.g. threading, messy play etc. However, for many children who are referred to paediatric occupational therapy services for difficulties with their fine motor skills, the difficulty often is more to do with lack of development of the foundation skills and hence the suggestions for the above activities. For any child who experiences difficulty with any of the above suggestions, for children who prefer to be constantly on the go not really engaging with any activity or finds it difficult in pre-school to engage sufficiently with their pre-school tasks it is important to seek a referral to paediatric occupational therapy as children do not grow out of their difficulty. The earlier help is sought, which can often be in the form of advice, the better the outcome for the child. I always advise parents when seeking advice from a health care professional to ensure your professional is registered with CORU. This is the registering board for all health care professionals. It helps to ensure the advice you are getting is 100% trustworthy and that their knowlege and professional standing and qualifications have been independently verified.

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Sara

EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Ask

Senior clinical psychologist Dr Sara O’Byrne answers your questions on family and relationship issues

About Sara

Dr Sara O’Byrne (BA, MSc, D Clin Psych) is a Clinic Director and Senior Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience working with children, adolescents and their families. Sara provides consultation, assessment and therapy services within a multidisciplinary team setting at the Treehouse Practice in the Beacon South Quarter. www.treehousepractice.ie

My eight-year-old son has become a real worry wart. I try to shield him from watching the news or from overhearing any potentially upsetting conversations but he worries constantly about everything. He needs to know exactly what is going to happen every day – he even worries that I won’t be able to find him when I collect him from school. He worries at night about being called on by his teacher to answer a question in the classroom. He worries when

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myself and my husband go out for the night that we’ll be in a car accident. He has tummy aches most mornings before the drop off to school. I’ve spoken to his teachers, who tell me he is doing okay but that he is shy and quiet in group situations – there is no evidence of bullying thankfully. How can I help my son to stop worrying and relax a bit. I’m concerned that it will only get worse as time goes on.

sometimes be useful if we are in a scary situation and need some support. It can sometimes cause our bodies to work a little differently (e.g. heart beating faster, having a sore tummy, feeling a bit shaky). Other children will find that their thoughts race, that they feel ‘frozen’ or overwhelmed, or even tearful. Giving your child the language to understand what he is experiencing is the first step.

Talk it out

There is always such a fine balance when supporting our children with anxiety. On the one hand our instinct is to offer protection and sometimes keep them wrapped in cotton wool. On the other hand we need to allow our children to feel fear and challenge the worries using their unique skills. You are absolutely right to limit your child’s exposure to adult news and this is very appropriate for a child of his age. This is the protective piece that is very helpful. Let’s also look at what you can do to help with worries, and some of the things that don’t help as much. Firstly, talking to your child about anxiety and worries will not make him more anxious. Providing accurate information about anxiety can help your child to feel less confused and help him to understand that anxiety is a normal experience that can be helped. Teach your child some facts about anxiety e.g. it is normal, everyone experiences it at some stage. It can

Secondly, set aside time in which you encourage your son to talk about his worries and fears. Pick a time to talk to your child when you know that he is generally more relaxed. This might be after dinner, for instance, when you both have time to communicate. Describe for your child a recent time in which you observed him experiencing anxiety e.g. “I noticed yesterday when you were going in to school that you seemed a bit worried and sad and wanted me to come with you. I thought that you might have been a bit anxious or scared. What was that like?” Let your child know that you are here to listen to him and that you are taking anxiety seriously. Next, offer your child hope that he can learn to cope with anxiety in a different way. Try to stay calm and model to your child that this is something you can deal with together. Let your child know that you are going to try out some new skills that other children have found helpful with

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anxiety and that you will practice them together. Tackle the signals together Teach your child to identify early warning signs of anxiety and to communicate this to you using a particular signal. Some children like to give anxiety a name to make it more child-friendly (e.g. Mr Worry, the Worry monster) and to play a game of ‘fighting’ back against this character. The use of drawings to show the character and child can be helpful with this technique. Drawings are also useful so that your child can show you where anxiety happens in his body. Set aside ‘Worry time’ with your child so that he can talk about anxiety and fears. Setting aside time for this type of conversation means that you will direct your child to this time if he is talking excessively about worries at other times of the day. You want to ensure that he is given opportunities to try out new skills at other times.

avoidance. Your instinct might be to reassure your child that everything is okay but research tells us that providing excessive reassurance actually increases anxiety. Rather, try to change your language towards positive coping statements such as, “I saw how well you used your breathing skills when a worry came along”. Related to this, watch for signs that your child might be avoiding situations that he fears as this will also perpetuate the cycle.

Making sure that he has a ‘just right’ challenge that you know is manageable for him is an excellent way to ensure that he is experiencing times of mastery, as well as worries. As with all changes and supports in your child’s life, gradual progress is preferable to sudden changes. Keep an eye on your child’s progress with these supports and if necessary, seek the support of either a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Make a toolbox Creating a toolbox of skills with your child is a lovely way to visually depict his skills. Your child might like to decorate a box and make it his own. In to this box you will put slips of paper with the names of his skills, such as using calming breathing, thinking of his ‘happy place’ or challenging the worries. If your child gets stuck, you can read his skills with him. Try not to overdo reassurances As parents, the key things to look out for in your own responses are excessive use of reassurance and

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David Ask

RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

David Kavanagh answers your questions about relationships

About David

David is a systemic family therapist based in Dundrum, Co. Dublin. He has more than 16 years’ experience as a family and sex therapist. He has successfully worked with hundreds of couples. He offers professional advice for a subject he realises can be quite touchy for most. Therefore he strives to make his sessions comfortable, non-judgemental and of course confidential.

My husband and I have been married for three years (we’ve been together for about seven years) and we are the parents of a two-year-old daughter. Recently my husband started doing a new thing: Whenever we argue he just shuts down and refuse to talk to me for some time – whether it’s about the argument or anything else. I confided in a friend and she used a term for it I never heard before: stonewalling. What is it exactly? Is my husband guilty of it and why did he only recently start doing it? How can we as a couple avoid it?

Your husband’s behaviour definitely sounds like stonewalling.

What is it? Stonewalling is when someone is over flooded with painful emotions. They then try to block out the source of that feeling. It’s not only men who are guilty of stonewalling. It happens to women too. Every single person’s temperament is different therefore it can differ on how it should be treated in each person. Why did he only recently start doing this? Even though you know each other for a long time, having a child can totally change your relationship and how you react to whatever the other person is saying. The reason why he only started to block you out when you argue can be because of sleep deprivation or he might be a little overwhelmed because a two-year-old can be quite a handful. People often find it emotionally difficult to adapt to being a parent and every person handles the situation differently. Other reasons why this happen can include issues on his side of the family or stress at work. How should I handle this? The most important thing to remember is how you communicate with your

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husband. If you’re having an argument and he shows lack of interest to communicate with you, you should back off. The human brain takes about 30 minutes or sometimes longer to cope with all the emotions it’s feeling at that time. Be mindful of how you communicate with him. Ask him if he needs space and leave him be. Don’t follow him around from room to room when it’s clear that he wants to be alone. Back off to give you both some time to focus on your own emotions. After a while, you should choose your timing carefully. Approach him calmly and ask him if you can talk about whatever started the argument. Also explain to him – calmly – that what he’s doing bothers you and that you both should find ways to cope with whatever emotions you’re feeling. Can stonewalling be treated? Yes, it can. In fact, if stonewalling is left untreated it can cause the relationship a lot of damage. Therapy can help find the source of why a person starts to block out the emotions. Therefore don’t be embarrassed to discuss this at an appropriate time with your husband too.

easy parenting

15/02/2019 16:47

YOUR HEALTH

James Ask

Dr James Ryan answers your questions on women’s health

About James

Dr James Ryan is a vocationally trained GP and graduate of UCD. With a particular interest in mental health and women’s health James has completed postgraduate diplomas in each area. James also has a special interest in online practice and is the clinical director for MyClinic.ie, Ireland’s leading online medical service.

I recently turned 38, and I’ve been trying to conceive for a year. I’ve had a laparoscopy, which showed up normal results. My partner’s sperm count and motility were tested and showed no issues. Are there any other tests or routes we can try before we get to the point where we might have to consider IVF?

Progesterone can be tested at certain times during a woman’s menstrual cycle to identify if ovulation has occurred, and is usually preformed on Day 21. Other commonly tested hormone levels include: Luteinizing hormone (LH), Follicle stimulating hormone (FSH), prolactin level, thyroid function, testosterone, and the free androgen index. Further tests may be ordered depending on the initial results. A full history and examination would generally guide the testing performed. One should also routinely have vaginal swabs performed for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as chlamydia and gonorrhoea, which can affect fertility. Usually a laparoscopy and dye test

is performed to assess the fallopian tubes. It can also be a helpful tool for the assessment of women with endometriosis. You should follow up with your gynaecologist or fertility specialist regarding the results to decide what the best next step is. If all the tests are normal, then the likelihood is that you and your partner will conceive naturally. If you continue to have ongoing difficulties then a procedure known as intrauterine insemination can be helpful in improving your chances of conception. Following this, and if conceiving continues to be a problem, In vitro fertilisation (IVF) can be a useful option for many couples.

I think it is great to hear that all the results to date have been normal. I am sure if you have had a laparoscopy that you have had appropriate blood tests prior to this procedure. Usually there is a comprehensive set of blood tests for a woman for investigation of fertility. These include regular blood tests including hormone profiles.

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PAEDIATRIC SLEEP

Lucy Ask

Paediatric sleep consultant Lucy Wolfe answers your sleep questions

About Lucy

Lucy Wolfe, CGSC, MAPSC, is a Paediatric Sleep Consultant , Author of The Baby Sleep Solution and Mum of Four. She is the principal of Sleep Matters – Help Your Child Sleep, a private sleep consulting practice. With her 98% effective formula for sleep, she enjoys providing knowledge, expertise and valuable support with tailored sleep strategies for families across Ireland and beyond. Having completed extensive training and continued professional development with leading sleep specialists, she is the former European Director of the International Association of Professional Sleep Consultants. Lucy is a well known speaker at corporate events, nurse study days and seminars. See www.sleepmatters.ie

I’m a first time mum to a seven month little girl, and I need some advice on daytime napping: I’ve gotten her into a terrible habit of lulling her to sleep in my arms. If I try to move her or put her down she wakes and won’t go back to sleep, so inevitably I end up leaving her sleep on top of me from anywhere between 10 mins and an hour. Do you have any advice on how to train her somehow to nod off herself for a daytime nap?

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First of all, it’s not a terrible habit allowing your baby to fall asleep in your arms. In fact it is the most natural and comfortable place for her to sleep, although I do appreciate that it can often mean that the parent is trapped for the duration of the nap as any attempt to place down results in your child waking. I think first and foremost we need to celebrate attending to our children in such a sensitive way and now if you are ready, then you can help her to sleep more independently for her naps. Before you would attempt this, it is important to ensure that she is able to go to sleep herself at bedtime without being held in your arms. If she currently cannot, then it is here you need to start. Using my age-appropriate feeding and sleeping balances from my book The Baby Sleep Solution, begin to lay a foundation by creating sleep times that are in sync with her natural rhythm. This way, any learning that she needs to do will be made easier in the long run. Then start to establish a formal bedtime routine in the bedroom and do the same for the nap as well. Give her 20 minutes at bedtime and at least 10 minutes at nap time. If you are then ready to transition from arms place her in the

cot-awake and use my stay-andsupport-approach to comfort her through the transition. When working on naps always try for one hour to help her to take the nap. If she doesn’t go to sleep in this time frame then, abort mission and re-try within an hour. Only attempt a nap in the cot twice in the same day-after that use the car or the buggy – but don’t revert back to holding as this will create a mixed message. In all likelihood she will nap, but initially she will probably wake quite soon thereafter. Unless she is easily re-settled – get up and move on to the next suggested nap time. The length of the nap will improve over the course of two weeks and if within that time naps are still short, then you can start to use the stay and support approach mid-nap now as well. My expectation at this stage would be that going for the nap now is an easy exercise, so it is only helping her stay asleep, that is now challenging, if at all. Once you are making progress don’t forget then to fix your naps in place so that the final gap between the last nap and bedtime does not exceed two and half to four hours. I hope that helps and wish you every success in making the changes.

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CHILDCARE

Ask

Louise

Childcare expert Louise Barrett answers your questions

A About Louise

Director of Childcare at Park Academy Childcare, Louise’s heart lies with working on impacting best practice for the children and families in their care. She holds Early Years, Montessori, Forest Schooling and Management Qualifications, and is currently completing her B.A. Hons Degree in Early Childhood Education. In her spare time, she is busy caring for her three small children.

Do you have any tips for how to choose the right crèche? What are the things to look out for? There are a couple of options in our area that have different pros and cons, but as a first-time mum I don’t really know how to start making a decision about what’s really important. We don’t know any other parents in the area who could recommend one.

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I advise you to set up viewings with a few crèches. By looking around, you will educate yourself about what there is available and what is correct for you. A viewing in a crèche should include a tour by the Crèche Manager. You should be shown into all the rooms, introduced to the teams, meet the children and have a range of things explained to you, including the children’s routines, feeding and menu schedules, sleep arrangements and activities and the care offered to the children. Ask as many questions as you like and don’t feel that anything is a silly question. Look at the children and team members interactions; are they content and comfortable in their surroundings? Is the environment rich with soft furnishings and toys? More detailed questions could include things like, what are the qualifications of the team? Is the curriculum child led? How many children in each room? When will your baby move to the next room? What is their policy on behaviour management? Is there an open-door policy whereby you can enter the building without notice? It is also a good idea to ask about the settling in policy, what will happen on your baby’s first week. It should be a nice gradual setting plan that you feel

comfortable with. You mention pros and cons of settings close to you. This is something for you to reflect on. For example, the pros of being able to walk to a local crèche may outweigh the cons that that particular crèche is your second choice. It is a good idea to give this some thought about what works best for your family and ultimately that will become the best decision. These days pre-school settings are heavily regulated by the governing body “Tusla” so the standards regarding security, nappy changing, cots and staff matters like Garda vetting etc. tend to be high. You could ask to see the most recent inspection report or review it yourself online at www.pobal.ie My overriding advice would be to trust your gut and choose where you get a relaxed and trusting feeling where warm faces make you and your baby feel welcome.

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jkl,l MATERNITY & BIRTH

Ask

Tracy Tracy Donegan answers your questions about pregnancy and birth

About Tracy

Tracy Donegan is a midwife and author of the Irish Better Birth Book, and The Irish Caesarean and VBAC Guide, and founder of GentleBirth. GentleBirth is Ireland’s leading positive birth preparation programme. Available as a home study course or weekend workshop GentleBirth is changing the way women in Ireland give birth. GentleBirth provides you with the roadmap to a positive birth and helps you navigate and negotiate the Irish maternity system to stack the odds in your favour of having the best birth possible. www.GentleBirth.ie

Q A

I’m nearly three months pregnant, and I’m dying to feel kicks and movement. When should I start to feel movement? Starting to feel movement is one of the most exciting parts of pregnancy. Some women start to feel movement around 24 weeks but many aren’t sure if they’re feeling gas bubbles or little nudges.

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Pick a quiet time and practice some slow deep breaths and let your focus settle on the sensations of your abdomen. For some mums who have an anterior placenta (your placenta is at the front) it can muffle the kicks a little but as your baby grows they will definitely start to become more noticeable.

I’m eight months pregnant, and over the past couple of months I have suffered from two bladder infections. I’ve taken antiobiotics both times to treat it – but is there anything I can do from a diet/lifestyle point of view to reduce my risk of developing another infection?

UTIs are quite common in pregnancy due to hormones and the growing uterus. E.coli bacteria accounts for about

90% of UTIs in pregnancy and higher blood sugar levels make it even more common. Be sure to drink plenty of fluids in pregnancy but less so when taking antibiotics as you’ll just flush the antibiotics out. PAC is also a supplement that may help (found in cranberries) to reduce recurrent UTIs. Always wipe from front to back and pee after sex. Talk to your careprovider as cranberry supplements may impact blood thinners. Constipation can also increase bladder infections by inhibiting the emptying of your bladder. Probiotics can also help reduce UTIs and vaginal infections – be sure to ask your careprovider for recommendations for any supplements you take in pregnancy. UTIs can occur after an epidural due to the catheter so ask about a supplement to take when you’re in the postnatal ward.

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