A Day to Reset

Finally. The weekend. There’s something super comforting knowing that today is Saturday. It is so serene. All the worries I had, the anxiousness, it fades for a bit. Knowing I have the whole day to myself, I wake up excited to know that I can afford to not do anything today and not feel guilty about it.

I think about the giant mess that my room is, and all the work I have due soon. And it worries me a little, but I have to force myself to stop. Yes, it is important, but right now I truly can’t focus if the giant pile of clothes in my room isnt cleaned or if I didn’t eat yet. How do I find the balance between taking care of myself vs my responsibilities. It’s when they bleed into eachother, that I find it really hard to prioritize what to do. I hope it becomes easier soon.

After I clean my room, for what feels like hours, my mom invites me to go shopping. Since it has been a while, we go ! I’m excited, I haven’t had an outing in a while so this should be fun.

I just want to go out and not have to worry about what;s due the next day.

Mind Slush

After the trip to the mall, I decide to lay down. Is that the only thing I can do right, just laying down. I guess it is, and that’s okay too. Rest is for my body and health. It is okay to take care of yourself. I have to keep repeating to myself. It is okay. To. Rest. If it’s alright, I’ll end my notes here.

Time to focus

I don’t know if it’s just me. But I despise Sundays. They start so slow. You tell yourself you have so much time, and then before you know it’s 7pm and you have not done anything.

I woke up slightly earlier today so I got a start on a few things, but not complete. I think that’s also one of my problems, that I can never complete things on time the way I want it. I’ll give myself completely unrealistic deadlines and then be disapointed I can’t finish them.

After spending the morning helping my mom clean the house and take my medications, I get up to finally get some school work done. Lately I’ve been finding having a study buddy or creating an optimal study environment has been helpful. Also completing things that I’ll feel proud of. That seems to be a good motivator for me.

I’m extremely grateful for everyone in my life. It is such a privilege to be able to express myself in such a raw, vulnerable place, and for that I will always be appreciative.