Hexing the Enemies of Women and Peace Some women shirk from fighting back. Too many years have passed since the heroic age of the seventies, when everything new started. We used to have self-defense classes, repair our own cars classes, women’s studies about who we are as women and what have women done in Herstory that we are not aware of. Gathering our treasures and our tears. Still we live in male centered societies. Males often rule by violence and rape, and the everlasting wars. Not by law. Too many rapists have gone free, too many murderers as well. White-collar thieves live long and hardly ever fall into the hands of justice. But something has happened here in the San Francisco Bay Area that tripped the “that’s enough!” wires for me as a witch. A lesbian was viciously gang raped by four men. Then they kidnapped her, and continued their assault for another 45 minutes. She was brutally beaten to within an inch of her life for being a woman, for being a lesbian. Then, they stole her car and left her naked in the chilled winter winds and pounding rains, daring her to survive. She did. I have not hexed anybody since the Trailside Killer (still in jail) in the 80’s, but something turned inside me when the crime came this close to my life. I’m much older now at 68 and somewhat incapacitated with artificial hips. I gathered enough courage to call to arms all those women who considered holding a hexing circle in defense of our lives a worthwhile effort. 13 women answered the call. It was a magical number. I went ahead. As always we document all hexes, so there could be NO doubt we are not calling on the devil.
I contemplated the situation and carefully chose the Lady of Guadalupe as our Queen of all Americas to be the center. I asked a friend to get me some large banners of the Lady. She sent us two large banners, glorious in her appearance, the Lady in her full queenly glory. Thank you, Karen!
Next I gathered the all-important occult supplies. Yes you can cast successful spells without anything, just praying but when you are up against a rape culture, violence of this hate crime magnitude, it’s good to have some mandrake root with you, and other secret baneful herbs to burn in your cauldron. I represented the lives of the rapists with red thread, and over the smoking cauldron, praying to the Queen, I cut their luck into many small pieces. The only man who came to our hex, Lez, helped to put them all into the burning cauldron of change. This was important. Men must stop rape. Men must come over to the women’s side and fight for us. Rarely ever happens. To the Queen who we invoked as grandmother (her old name used to be Tonatzin) , we asked her to help us and to bring these men, and ALL rapists down with Unluck. We cut their luck into tiny little pieces, their luck now gone. Next I hexed them so nobody would hide them. Hexed them that their own family would give them up. Hexed them that they would turn on each other. Hexed them that the youngest one would talk.
Video of parts of this hexing ritual are on my DU website: http://wicca.zbudapest.com and on my blog: http://blog.zbudapest.com
Then we went home. I lie down on my couch and let the new year arrive. Thought it would be a little while that this spins out its necessary wheels. By Wednesday, the news was on the front pages of the SF Chronicle. Three of the men were arrested. The younger one’s family gave him up! And then he talked as the hex had requested. They arrested two more and by Thursday the fourth criminal turned himself in. Blessed be Tonantzin! Sisters of the Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One participated with us globally in this incredible fast Justice. In Orange County in Southern California, and elsewhere, the women gathered to support this hex. All could see the success of their labors. Enough is enough! On the same day the arrests began here, a serial rapist was caught in Columbus, Ohio ‌ No luck for rapists! Justicia rules! So now I have allowed myself a little victory toe-dance. Yeahh! What I hoped would result from this experience is a nationwide hex on ALL rapists and similar gender initiated violence. This would take place annually, on the dark moon at the end of every year. But the real change can only come from a change of consciousness. A mind change that would see women differently. Not as meat, not as holes, or whores, but as sisters and mothers and citizens with rights.
Male gods’ religion didn’t help at all. Thousands of years and the societies are still not civilized. The male gods remain the Lords. They have holy books full of violence and trashing of women. Switching back to Goddess culture and appreciation of life is what would help see women in the loving light. After all we are the doors of life. We birthed everybody. Where is the gratitude? Why the rage against us? I hope that women ‘grow a pair’ and learn not to be fear driven, to stand up for themselves and each other. Learn SISTERHOOD again! Maybe it’s time that the ‘Take Back the Night Marches’ that I started back in the 70’s, becomes an annual hexing ritual done by sisters and brothers alike. A hex on all enemies of women and peace. Maybe that will make the difference! It has to begin somewhere!
Blessed be,
Z Budapest
The Response to Hexing the Enemies of Women and Peace I published this article at WitchVox and have been receiving emails ever since. I thought you might enjoy reading some of the responses I’ve gotten. I applaud and honor you for such a well-written article that is way overdue!! As a witch in my own right, and a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner that has started a Sexual Response Team in my community, I support your propositions 100%. I have often wondered myself how we let ourselves drift out of the Age of Empowerment and into the Age of Complacency....do we not discredit and devalue all the work we and our sisters did back then? Take Back the Night, indeed! And then let us also Take Back Each Day by revisiting the old issues and teaching our young people the importance of Herstory and Mystory in history. At your service, in the realm of Peace, Love, and Light, RRM ____ I read your article about hexing the rapists of the San Francisco woman. I applaud not only your effort but your choice to speak out.
The ultra-pacificm that is present in many branches of Neopaganism is something I have never agreed with. Suffering in silence does not work. Turning the other cheek and being a martyr are leftover vestiges of Christianity that we need to remove from our society. Thank you for continuing to inspire women throughout our country. Only action will bring about change. NF ____ I read your essay on hexing in Witches Voice. I have only done one minor hex in my time as a Wiccan, as I have not had great need to. Usually I have other ways of preventing harm. However I see nothing wrong with doing it as a matter of Justice or in Self Defense. So Wiccans carry the Harm None a bit too far. Christopher ____ Thank you and all who joined in. As a recipient of a "date" rape, why do they call it that, a rape is a rape is a rape whether you know the simpleton or not...anyway, I chose to NOT be a victim but to take the lesson; to accept the strength I found within, own it and continue forward. As a mother of two grown sons I, and their father, have tried all of their lives to instill a deep respect for women. They have balanced and happy relationships with their wives and daughters. I thank Goddess each and every day for my life, my family and friends. I thank you, a lot, for your wisdom, courage and for teaching me through your books and essays as I travel this wonderful path that is being shown to me. Goddess Blessings. Great hex! Count me in. Gralyn ____ Great article Z! Keep up the Great work, thanks for all you have done and continue to do. Blessed be, Betty ____ Your article seems like one big rant on men. Despite what you might think, not all men are bad. Also, it's not bad to have a man around to defend you when someone breaks into your home. I am not saying all women are defenseless, but by nature the male is the protector. Lets also remember that this is an balance God/Goddess, and leaning too far one way or the other goes against what we are supposed to be espousing. Be blessed, Treebeard ____ Thank you. I had moved away from the craft community several years ago for many of the reasons you gave in your post. While the perceptions of the craft and paganism have grown, narrow mindedness and misogyny have as well. My path once again swirls back towards being active in community with a very specific focus on the work of, by and for women and community. Reading your words was an affirmation. Blessed be, Max ____ Hello Z and blessings! This article moved me so much I just needed to drop you a huge kudos and thank you. Your article on Hexing the Enemies of Women and Peace encapsulated almost precisely what I feel when I learn about casualties in the ongoing war against women in this world. It's good to know there are practitioners like you out there who aren't afraid to take action on a spiritual level when action is warranted. It always disturbs me when I see all levels of Wiccans and Pagans cling to "White Witch/White light only" rhetoric in the face of violence and injustice because they are terrified that the Christian Hegemony will try and convict them of conjuring the devil. We definitely need more like you to help coax the warrior in all of us to come out of hiding. From deep in my heart, thank you! April ____
Hi, Z Thank you very much for this post, and for your wonderful work. I'm so glad that your spell led to the capture of these horrible men. Kirstin ____ Thank you for your article. I can't tell you how refreshing it was, not just seeing your name and face, but reading those words. I get so tired of listening to women, and witches, work off the male paradigm. I read this website regularly and wonder where all the feminist witches went. It's discouraging. So thank you for still being out there and still fighting the good fight. I have a sister! I'm not alone! Yay! Lili ____ Dear Z, After reading your Witchvox posting I felt I had to touch base. I have been on the Path for 30 plus years and I remember the energies you described. Some of my first readings were your early books and I never left the written page without being refreshed and filled with the hope of change. Herding pagan women/feminists is a bit like herding cats. First, they have to think it is their idea. The idea that we can be pivotal elements in changing society has often been lost amidst the wannabe phenomenon and the "what can it do for me" mentality, but I still feel the hope rise when I read your words and give myself a push toward positive change. In other words..thank you. You have been a role model for many and we have not forgotten. Blessings, Alida ____ Dear Z-First, thank you! I have read and taken sustenence from many of your writings. I feel so blessed to live at a time when women such as yourself have been doing their good work for decades already. The story you tell here is deeply powerful, as are your actions. I have no qualm about hexing those who hurt women, but I want more. Do you think it is possible to use spell work to empower women to stop these crimes BEFORE they are initiated? I'm wondering what sort of spell or ritual you might create to prevent people from harming women? Do you think it is even possible to do a spell of that sort and have the same kind of effect as your hexes? I look forward to your reply. Bright blessings, Joanna ____
I read your article about hexing the enimes of women and peace and found it inspiring. I am often awed by the sheer power of a witch's magic. Gina ____ Dear Ms. Budapest, I wanted to thank you for writing the article "Hexing the Enemies of Women and Peace". It was wonderful to read that we are not alone in the good fight to end violence toward women. I live in Columbus, Ohio, so when I read that reference in your article it touched me deeply to know that someone in another part of the country, was aware of the serial rapist (s) here. We have had several serial rapists and a couple of them have been caught. As the friend and cousin of two rape survivors, the issue affects me deeply. My dear friend was raped repeatedly by a man who was on probation for sexual offenses. Why he was on probation, I will never know. I do know that through the shortsightedness of that parole board, another woman was violated and family devastated. I can't thank you enough for bringing this issue to the minds of all those in the magical community. You've reminded us that we are not powerless, but rather empowered to make a difference and change the outcome of events through our magic, determination and fierce love of justice. May you continue to be blessed in all you do. In love and light, Kate P.S. My Mom and I love your writing!
____ Omigoddess! It's so good to see something by you - back in ‘81 or so I first encountered your writings (Holy book of Womyn's Mysteries 1 and 2) when I first was getting into Wicca, can't remember whether it was before or after I committed myself to the God/ess and this path back in the fall equinox of ‘81.) Although I am not what you'd call a feminist, I loved it and have used many of your ideas in circle work - privately and when I was healthier and did some public work. Judith ____ BRAVO! I've always wondered if something like a Call for Justice Hex can be done. But I always shirk from it, thinking it might be wrong to use magical power against rapists and drug traffickers (that justice is something for the Gods to do) ; that I might inadvertently go to the 'dark side' in my anger. Will visit your site for tips. (I don't think we have mandrake in the Philippines.) Lots of Love, Hypatia
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Recovering & Reclaiming: Counting our Blessings at Lammas The Mother Goddess is the essence of Creation, Abundance and Power. I feel her in every cycle of my existence and I feel her now as the wheel turns to Lammas. In this bountiful season, everything around us mirrors the magnificence of Her creation! Her heart beats like a rhythmic drum under our feet; Her womb pulsates with the vitality that feeds us; Her juices flow like an endless river of nourishment while Her creatures bask in radiant sunlight and partake in the cornucopia of ripening fruits, herbs and grains. It is the Feast of Habondia and we are truly blessed by Her bounty. Just as we celebrate the first fruits produced from the union of Earth and Sun at Lammas... we also honor the fruits we bring forth in the world, fruits of our labor and life experience. In our Circle rituals we share our many blessings as we invoke Goddesses of plenty and good fortune... Gaia, Fortuna, Eve, Ceres, Habondia, Demeter, Pachamama, Great Corn Mother and others. We also hold up our chalice and toast all who have blessed our lives along the way; those who played vital roles in expanding our consciousness or shaping us into the women we are today. I once heard a BLESSING defined as: any person, place, thing or circumstance in our life which acts as a stepping stone toward the awakening of our true nature, divinity, sacredness or purpose. I agree with this definition and honestly say it fits the description of many special people that have touched my life through the years, one of which is Zsuzsanna Budapest, a sister I deeply love, respect and admire. I became aware of Z's presence in the world in 1986, shortly after the Goddess spoke to me, because she made a great impact in my life. It started when I was browsing around in the San Jose Metaphysical Book Shop one afternoon and ran across her Holy Book on a display table. I remember this quite well because the book actually had a strange effect on me. I picked it up and put it down at least 3 or 4 times because I wasn't sure I wanted to buy it. I remember the picture on the cover, how it enticed me in a strange way. I also remember the slight tinges of fear that shot through my body every time I picked it up and glanced through its pages. It was certainly a little more radical than other books I had been reading at the time, but the energy I was feeling sparked my curiosity, so I decided go ahead with the purchase and bring it home. After dinner that night I sat down and thumbed through the pages of the Holy Book. I browsed and read, stopping in different chapters, reading a couple paragraphs at a time. Then it was time for my 8 o'clock
A.A. meeting, so I slid the book onto my bookshelf next to others I was collecting on Goddess Religion and Women's Spirituality, and took off. I was really on fire back then, trying to feed my hungry spirit with any pagan book I could get my hands on, attempting to read several at the same time, trying to squeeze it all into my very busy schedule of single motherhood, job, personal recovery meetings and service to others, so the book sat there in my library for awhile before I could get back to it again. My next encounter with Z was sometime in the early 90's, when I bought her Gathering the Goddesses Video (also on DVD). By this time I had a small Dianic coven of about 13 women and holding weekly Study Circles in my home. Since we shared books and films about Women's Spirituality, Z's film was the perfect addition to our collection. Not only that. The film gave me a deeper sense of who Z was, a more informed view of her work and the wealth of wisdom she was imparting to women like me. She sparked my own genetic wisdom at that time, mimicking many things I felt inside, so I continued watching and learning, watching and learning. I think I must have played Gathering the Goddesses and the Women's Spirituality Trilogy hundreds of times through the years, for myself and for women around me. I'm never tired of watching these films or showing them to others because I love seeing the look on women's faces when they see them for the first time. It is awesome! This is how I educated myself in earlier years, with books and films. I became a solitary at first, because there were no women's circles in the area I lived in. That's why I eventually started my own circle. I was self-initiated too. I formally gave myself to the Goddess under a bright full moon one night, and that was that. So watching Z's film was very inspiring for me. I felt her presence there with me as she taught me about the path I was then reclaiming and embracing. I remember her saying in the film that when women gather together, we bring the fragments of the Goddess back together again... that the knowledge we need comes from gatherings, gatherings, gatherings... that women can heal once they realize it is a lying story they've been living. Yes! Yes! Yes! I hinged on every word, and this paved the way for me and the work I do today. When the Goddess spoke to me in a personal epiphany in 1985, I didn't know what to do with this information. At that time, I didn't know anyone that spoke openly about the Goddess! So I prayed for guidance and the guidance came. I was led to books, then to films, then to circles and sisters outside my home town. That's when I began really getting a sense of who I was and what I needed to heal my life. In the early days, I would also travel 25 miles to the ocean each week with my youngest daughter so I could replenish my energies while she played on the beach. That's when I saw a flyer on a telephone pole announcing an upcoming Woman's Circle with Helene Joy. This is the first women's circle I ever attended and it made an impact because I felt very comfortable in a circle of 30 women with a leader that could play the guitar and sing, just like me. The next Circle I attended was also in Santa Cruz, and I began meeting women who would soon became an intricate part of my life. This is when I met Shekhinah Mountainwater and it didn't take long to become friends and start circling together.
I continued living a pretty busy life in the South Bay Area until 1994, when I was stopped in my tracks by a diagnosis of breast cancer. That's when I had to take a serious look at my life and deal with deeper issues of codependence. By this time, I had many wise women in my life that offered support, so I had a mastectomy and began the long process of healing on deeper levels. Some say I became a full-fledged Amazon at that time... but when I emerged from this powerful experience I made a solemn commitment to the Goddess to continue my work on Her behalf. This is when I began announcing our Circle events to women in the community and the flood gates opened. Sisters starting joining us from all over, and it's never stopped. It was during this time that a friend and I attended Z's Halloween Gathering and Spiral Dance in San Francisco, which was a 50 mile drive from where I lived. The gathering was awesome! It moved me deeply. The drums were beating with great precision as stilt dancers, representing the three fates, danced round the circle, one holding the spindle, one weaving the thread, one with the scissors. Z also led us in a trance that night while singing in her native tongue, and it was so powerful that my sister Kathy came to me from behind the veil. This was very meaningful experience for me. After we finished the ritual and spiral dance, I got the chance to finally meet Z in person... so I introduced myself, gave her a hug, thanked her for her work and told her how much it meant to me. Of course you never get to spend any quality time with those you admire at these events. Too many people swarming around and too many waiting their turn with Z. So after our brief encounter, I slipped away into the crowd like everyone else and left for home. Little did I know then, that many years would pass before I'd ever get the chance to see Z in person again. In 1997 I left the Bay Area and moved to the High Sierras because I needed a simpler life, but I continued my work in The Sacred Circle and it grew into the wonderful Dianic sisterhood it is today. I enjoyed every bit of it, because I was doing the work I loved as a priestess of women's mysteries and meeting many wonderful women that honored the Goddess in both the Bay Area and Nevada. Z's teachings also remained an inspiration to me through the years. I continued reading her books, showing her film and passing on what I learned to others along the way. Since Patriarchy is still alive and well, priestessing can be a difficult job at times. It has its wonderful moments, but there lots of work involved with very little compensation or recognition. In my life, serving the Goddess was a deep calling from the Great Mother herself... and when I was willing to heed the call I was met by many powerful sisters like Z to help me along the way. Also, working with women can be very difficult at times, because we still haven't learned to cooperate with one another in the best ways possible. We're learning, but we still have a long way to go. Does that mean I am going to give up? Certainly not! I'm going to keep going ‘til they pat me in the face with a scoop! I made a promise and I'm sticking to it. Besides, what would I do if I couldn't serve the Goddess in this capacity? Serve the Patriarchy? No thanks! Quite honestly though, I did think of throwing in the towel a few times, because being Founding Mother of a collective can get very discouraging at times, especially when sisters start causing dissension or division. Just like a mother with children, I've had my heart broken many times, but a time did come in 2007 which seriously disturbed me beyond the norm. One of the women in my collective suddenly
relapsed into active alcoholism and began going on a rampage, creating chaos and wreckage with various sisters throughout our collective. I was very angered and saddened by this, not only because she turned on me, but because she started harming unsuspecting sisters as well. I emailed everyone a heads up about the relapse, but many still had to find out the hard way. This was a very disheartening time for me and we finally banned together and got through it, but I was a little worn out by it all. So I began praying to the Goddess, asking her for inspiration and guidance, asking her to show me the way to deeper fulfillment.... and that's when I met Bobbie. In August, 2007, our beloved sister Shekhinah Mountainwater passed away, and I was invited to a memorial held in her honor at a place called Windtree. I went with my friend Catherine and stayed in the Crone's Lodge. I was glad to be there, because it gave me a chance to talk with sisters I hadn't seen in awhile. Even though Shekhinah and I did speak our final words to each other during her illness, I was glad to hear about her last days from sisters that were there with her. One of these dear ones was Bobbie, so we got the chance to communicate for awhile. We also hit it off pretty well and continued staying in touch. This is when Bobbie told me that she and Z were revising the Susan B. Anthony Coven No. 1, that they were planning to hold another Gathering the Goddesses Festival later that year and that she and Z would be trysted together at that time as well. I was in.
The Festival was wonderful! I was initiated into the Dianic Tradition along with others and met many beautiful sisters there, women I've always admired. When we entered our big fire ritual on Saturday night, I was the 9th Crone walking behind Z... so I guess time really does fly when you're having fun! I'm also glad I had the opportunity to work with Z and my sisters at Pantheacon this past year and to continue learning in the Dianic University. It brought the fire back to my life, and the passion, I am very grateful. Yes, the Goddess answered my prayers. I got the kick-start I needed and was led back to the larger Dianic Community where I belong. I also came full circle with Z Budapest and a wonderful group of sisters that offer love, support, friendship and inspiration I need to keep on keeping on. It's just what the witch doctor ordered and the Goddess saw that it was done. Because Z Budapest knows who she is and continues to shine her bright spirit in the world, she gives me the confidence to shine my light in the world as well. I'm very grateful for the many years of wisdom she has given us and pray she has many, many more years to go because we need her, and I'm proud to be a priestess in her lineage. Along with having 15 years cancer free, a loving coven of beautiful maidens, mothers and crones; a community of powerful sisters, a loving mate, family, friends and 27 years of recovery, I'd say the fruits are more than obvious in my life. I'm a pretty lucky woman indeed! So let’s remember: “When Women Heal, the Earth Heals!” Blessed Be!
Feast of First Fruits As Lammas turns the sacred wheel We bask in summer sun We sing & dance with sisters dear Or feast on food and fun, With Mother¹s bounty full and ripe We drink her nectar with delight And celebrate in holy rites The blessings that enhance our life...
We celebrate sweet memories Or follies spent in vain We recognize the courage met Through hardship, toil or pain, We honor the maturity That came with life¹s adversity, Ancient ways that feed our soul And miracles that made us whole...
We honor all the challenges That came to help us grow, Acknowledging the lessons learned Or what we came to know, We give our thanks for love that binds For strong relations true and kind Or special friends along the way That shared our joy or deep dismay...
When it comes to Lammas time Our cups are raised to life divine We toast her fruits upon the vine With gratitude and peace of mind, For Goddess brings prosperity, Health and Wealth and Living Free With many other treasured gifts That bring enrichment, joy and bliss!
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Boldogasszony - Glad Woman As Zsuzsanna Budapest is of Hungarian origin, and her heritage is so deeply woven in the fabric of her life, I thought it only fitting that in this issue of “Goddess” dedicated to our experiences with her, I would write an article in this space on the goddess Z worshipped from childhood, Boldogasszony, “Glad Woman”, “Blessed Woman.” Boldog, (Hungarian word for “happy”) asszony (Hungarian word for woman or mistress), Boldogasszony was one of the major deities in the mythologies of the ancient peoples who became known as Magyar, the modern Hungarians. She is Matron Goddess of mothers and children, and of childbirth. She is Matron of the Hungarian Nation. She is Goddess of fertility for people, animals and crops, Goddess of the Harvest. She is Goddess associated with healing and herbs, Protector of Families, and the Source to whom one goes to pray for a mate. Some of Her titles are Queen of the World, Queen of Hungary, Goddess of the Sickle. Only women harvested with a sickle, not men. Many healing herbs include her name in theirs. Holy wells were associated with her. The old Hungarian National Anthem, written in 1714, was titled “Boldogasszony Anyank” and was sung in Her honor until late in the 19th century when the national anthem was changed. In 1896, Pope Leo XIII sent a letter in regards to the celebration of the country’s millennial celebration granting permission for the country’s Catholics to celebrate the Feast of Boldogasszony. Her worship was so strong that it continued long after the official conversion of the people to Catholic Christianity. She is so highly revered in the Magyar culture, that the Church could not diminish the people’s devotion to Her for centuries. Eventually the Church syncretized Boldogasszony with the Virgin Mary. The calendar of the Hungarian people, prior to adopting the Gregorian calendar, was zodiacal in nature, having 12 months, and the first month of the year was called Boldogasszony, month of the Happy, Blessed Lady. The first month was dedicated to Her, the soul of the Magyar people. According to Hungarian researcher and author Geza Radics, there is ample evidence in ancient created clay figures
found within Hungary, that the country was once referred to as “The Child of Boldogasszony”. The people still refer to their country as the “motherland.” A description of one of the beloved depictions of Madonna and child, well known in Hungary is described by The Good Earth Community: All the body of the Mother shines, showing the star-world nature of the Universe. The star circle around Her also enhances the cosmic meaning of Boldogasszony. She wears a three-story crown and carries a child on Her left, by Her heart. The number 3 had a central role in the ancient Hungarian world-view: the threeness-in-one symbolizes the Highest Level, the Eternal Unit, so in this way, Boldogasszony is the Highest Level of the Stars, the World, the Universe itself.
Most remarkable, this Goddess may be far more ancient than previously thought. Beginning in the 19th century, research progressively showed a link through the Hungarian language and its evolution to the ancient Sumerians. Certain comparisons of these two Indo-European languages show an extraordinary degree of compatibility. Ethno-linguistic research seems to confirm the root of the Magyar people in ancient Mesopotamia over 5000 years ago. The Sumerian culture was truly the cradle of what has become modern civilization. It was from that culture that the first writing we know of came, and laws. The Sumerian Goddess Ba`u was a Goddess very like She who became called Boldogasszony. The mythology connected with Ba`u is almost identical to the surviving mythology of Boldogasszony. Inanna was a daughter of Ba`u, and Boldogasszony also had a daughter that mirrored the traits of Inanna. Additionally, out of that area of the world and its language linkage, there was a pre-dynastic Egyptian Goddess named Makar, Magar, or Magyar (in various spellings). In Old Greek, makar or magar means “happy” which is “boldog” in Hungarian. So it is possible that the entire Magyar peoples took their name directly from the name of the Goddess, “People of The Goddess Boldogasszony.” Z Budapest talks of the time of the Hungarian revolution in 1956, and remembers vividly people gathering on street corners and singing together old songs to Glad Woman. In their time of national crisis they prayed to their ancient Goddess Protector for Her aid to Her children in despair. There is a beautiful CD by Richard Gass called Ancient Mother which has Z Budapest singing this beautiful, haunting melody with just a solo violin. It seems to me to sound like the very breath of the Magyar, sourcing from Glad Woman Herself: “Glad Woman, our Mother, Our ancient, great protector! We call on you from dire need! Our people need you to listen: Hungary, our sweet Homeland Please do not forget to bless Your poor Hungarians.” As for myself, I cherish a memory of a phone conversation with Z while she was in recuperation following her recent hip replacement. I told her of a ritual I had done with my circle here in my home to reclaim, heal and make sacred our First Blood. I sang to her the song that was given me spontaneously by the Goddess Diana following a drum journey with Her. Then Z shared with me how her now very famous song, “We All Come From the Goddess” came to her and under what circumstances. Though Z may have told that story a thousand times, I had never heard it and it made me feel very special, blessed, that Z chose to share it with me that evening. It made me feel that we had truly shared similar experiences. Thank you, Z. Sources for this article: - Encyclopaedia Brittanica online - Geza Radics - Good Earth Community - Dr. Ida Bobula
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Z Goes to Generation-z via New Media Are you plugged in to the new media social networks? You should be! If Z can do it, we all can. Twitter, Facebook and Skype are all free to use. Learn more, just click on the images to the left. If you want to be informed, get announcements of when you can participate with Z live … these are the venues Z is using. Don’t miss out … get yourself plugged in!
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Thirty two years ago a sweet sister of mine, handed me a small yellow book entitled “The Feminist Book of Lights and Shadows” by Z Budapest. I had at this time, committed my life to forwarding the cause of Feminism in the current environment of the 1970’s and was already a practicing solitary witch that never included patriarchy into my belief system. At that time, I had no idea what an impact this small yellow book would have on my life... but, it seems the Goddess had plans for me, that would not come to full fruition until after I had turned 50! As this book expanded into many other printings, I continued to buy it and read it over and over again, and I own every version ever printed. Now, we are blessed to have the most current and updated version, “The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries” available to us. I practiced the spellcrafting, rituals, used it for tarot readings, etc. and it became a part of me. I was fully immersed in the study and knowledge of Women’s Mysteries, combined with my practice of witchcraft. There were lonely years of being a solitary practitioner and over time joining various groups, which never seemed to quite resonate with me, and many moons later I discovered the Dianic University online, in which the original author of my little yellow book was the teacher! The Goddess worked a miracle in my life. I became an ardent student of Z Budapest, and was humbly invited to join her coven, the auspicious Susan B. Anthony Coven No. 1. Since then, I have had the opportunity to connect with other sweet sisters, whom have become a huge part of my life. Without the opportunity Z made available at her Dianic University online, I would never have known these kind, yet powerful Amazonian sisters, who stand with me through thick and thin, and work so hard to further the cause of Womenkind. I studied with Z for almost a year, when I finally had the joyous opportunity to meet her in person at her Gathering of the Goddess in the Fall of 2008, when at last that little yellow book I had carried around for over 30 years, was signed for me, by my now High Priestess. I HAD COME FULL CIRCLE! I have learned so much about Spellcasting from my dear High Priestess Z, and she is always there to answer my questions and keep me on track. I have been honored that Z has allowed me to write my “Spells for Sisters” column in her monthly Goddess magazine and have enjoyed doing this for many months now. This month I am honoring Z and all that she has brought into my life for so many moons, by sharing one of her spells from the “Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries” (on page 30), entitled, “Spell to
Improve Psychic Powers.” I chose this spell because I felt that all sisters can benefit from this, no matter what our circumstances. As I was given the opportunity by Z to modify this spell for current times, I feel it a difficult task to improve on a spell that has worked for so many, and has stood the test of time. I humbly attempt to rework this spell for my sisters and for Z. Goddess Bless my GLORIOUS and POWERFUL High Priestess Z Budapest for being a part of my life and my beliefs for the past 33 years.
SPELL TO IMPROVE PSYCHIC POWERS: NOTE: Z cautions us on page 30 of “The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries” and reiterates this on page 221 of her book “The Grandmother of Time” to be aware of the following, and I quote... “Spells to improve psychic powers are best performed at the new and full moon. Psychic ability is not developed during the course of ONE spell, but rather in the series of events that constitutes one’s life. Studying the STARS, recording DREAMS, and maintaining a healthy DIET are also good steps toward development.” As a spell to release your third eye, make a small altar on the floor with a Goddess symbol (it may be a statue or a rose), have a purple candle (you may substitute white if you do not have purple available), place a crystal ball if you have one on your little altar and/or an amethyst crystal. Z tells us in the “Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries”… “Light incense containing any of several herbs good for psychic work, such as wood betony, sandalwood, olibaunum, uva ursi, nutmeg powder, orrisroot powder.” Either wear purple or something that is purple, such as a purple scarf. Sit quietly before your altar and visualize a purple protective circle surrounding you. Concentrate on your breathe. When you are grounded and centered take a breath in to the count of 3 through your nose, breathe the breath out to another count of 3 through your nose and then hold the breath for 6 counts. Repeat this anywhere from 3 to 9 times. This is a very powerful Kundalini breath technique that raises your awareness. “The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries” says: “Try to reach a state of mind that is between being asleep and being awake. This is an important zone to explore. It may take some struggle to maintain this semi-conscious state one you achieve it....”
When you are fully in the moment or as Z says, the “zone”, evoke the Goddess Aradia, the Queen of the Witches and ask Her to open your third eye. Chant 3 times: I am the channel of the Divine Mother. Aradia, Queen of the Witches, I ask you to be with me in this moment. My inner eye sees what my Goddess sees. My inner ears hear what my Goddess hears. My inner heart loves what my Goddess loves. BLESSED BE!
Leave your candle burning, and when you go to sleep this night, put some fresh flowers by your bed and keep a window open or cracked so the fresh air can waft over you as you sleep. An extra word of advice from Z, when doing a spell of this kind, found in “The Grandmother of Time,” “DO NOT spend more than 30 minutes at this. When you retire, hold for a moment that fleeting feeling that comes just before slipping into sleep. Hold it and remember it, then let it go.” Blessed Be to Z and
to the GODDESS for helping me to learn so much about spellcrafting. I LOVE YOU Z!
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Dianic Musings Goddess Prayer by Z Budapest Our Mother, who art the Earth Nourishing are thy ways Thy web of life be woven Thy ways be found within As it is all around. Thank you this day for our bread and sweat And forgive our misuse of you as we forgive others misuse of us And lead us not into exploitation But deliver us from lording it over you And over each other and over fellow creatures. For thine are the waters of life The feeding, breeding, and seeding ground For now and as close to forever As we shall ever come. Blessed Be! My very first encounter, with the fabulous Z Budapest was probably very similar to many Goddess women’s. It was 1999. I was in the Goddess Shoppe, a witch supply store and book store in Manchester, CT. The owner, Wendy (Persephone) was a Dianic witch and she offered classes at her bookstore. She ran open discussions for women only on Monday nights, to discuss the Goddess and Dianic women’s issues. She also had a Priestess path, year and a day of study. After attending the open circle for two weeks, I was hooked on the Goddess and felt the call of the Priestess path. So I signed up for year and a day study with Dianic Priestess initiation. Meanwhile during this period of my personal journey of discovering the Goddess, I asked Wendy, What would be the best basic book on the Goddess and magick? She led me right to Z’s Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries. Z’s book called to me in a most primal way. Every page, every chapter, every subject resonated with my very soul and my DNA.
I especially loved the chapter on Aradia, as she has always been one of my matron Goddesses. If I may quote from the chapter on Aradia: “Witches of the Dianic tradition follow Her example, concentrating on the development of psychic powers, the teaching of the skills of the Craft, the recovery of the Women’s Mysteries, and the perpetuation of women’s natural connection to the Female Life Force. We believe that Aradia, Goddess incarnate, is all women who come to a female-identified consciousness, to a social consciousness of oppression of everything female, and who dare fight for their own rights and the rights of their children.” What wondrous and divine words Z had to share. I knew by her biography that she was a hereditary witch, but how did she just know these things from the very fiber of her being? I got the answer to that when I saw Z’s documentary of a Goddess workshop in Texas called “Gathering the Goddesses” The interviewer asked Z how she knew so much about magick and witchcraft. Z answered, it’s just in my DNA as a hereditary witch, but it’s also in every other woman on the planet’s DNA. All women have access to this Divine knowledge of witchcraft and Goddess worship. We are all alchemists. We embrace science and Goddess and the laws of the universe. I’m paraphrasing of course, but these words hopefully convey the most important thing, Z tells the women and the women watching the DVD as well, that we are lunar beings already connected to the moon and the planet earth by virtue of the Goddess as Creatrix. We need not pine for a false ideal and patriarchal way of connecting with the Divine. In god the father mythology, we are beneath god and subservient to him and his priests. Women can’t even be clergy in this religion. We as women are considered wicked and unworthy of him or his love. Z teaches, the Goddess says no to such foolish ideas. She tells us WE are Goddess. We are immanent and transcendent. As above, so below. We can pray and meditate to Goddess just by listening to our own wisdom already in our own beautiful female bodies and imprinted in our souls. How liberating and freeing is this idea? We no longer have to kneel to anyone. We don’t have to hate our bodies and seek for approval for our appearance. BRAVA! What a joy to hear this from this mentor/teacher/voice of the Goddess. During the workshop, she does a song/ritual where they each have an apple. The women in the circle take their apples and eat it while singing:
Daughters of Eve come taste the apple GOOD, GOOD, GOOD! Take the knowledge to the people, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD!
My own teacher, Wendy had us do the same at one of our retreats and it is very powerful magick indeed for women to embrace the Garden of Eden and eat from the Tree of Life the apple, which is also a symbol of the Goddess because when sliced in half; you can see the star/pentacle. Father god myth would have us believe that we women sinned and have to spend eternity having pain in childbirth as penance to god for disobeying the order to eat the apple from the tree. Z and the Goddess teach us the opposite. We are worthy of all good things, especially self-love and being comfortable in our skins. We are also meant to be intelligent and wise. Hence Goddess says YES to knowledge and power!
My old teacher has recently since passed away too young and I pined for some Goddess wisdom. As synchronicity and Goddess would have it, I went to the Dianic University online and poked around a bit, reading the forums and groups. Z was reopening the SBA Coven #1 for membership. I was lucky enough to join the SBA Coven #1 last July. I called the WSF and got formally introduced to Z, and told her I would be coming to California to the Goddess Festival last September. Long story short, when I arrived in the forest for the introduction, Z read from the Holy Book about the SBA Manifesto. I thought to myself, she is truly channeling the Goddess. I was so transfixed and so taken by this beautiful woman who turned her inherited knowledge into sacred knowledge of the Goddess that women everywhere can have access to. I thought as I continue to grow as a human being, and teach the ways of the Goddess, I would do so happier after hearing such wise and common sense words and approach to our shared Goddess worship and beliefs.
I looked at her hair, when she bent her head and couldn’t really see what was going on. The sunbeams were shining in through the trees in the forest and they glared off the top of her head when she was reading. I looked closely and saw the tiniest of crowns, tucked in her white hair with a crescent moon. It just seemed so natural for this woman to be sitting in the sacred redwood forest, reading from the Women’s Holy Book in her sneakers and cute outfit with the little crown on her head. I just felt like Z should always be wearing her crown. She has that little twinkle in her eye and the mischievous grin. She truly captures and captivates her devoted audience, myself included. Her friends around her said, Be careful what you say to Z. She’s a writer and you may find yourself in one of her books! I thought to myself, how wonderful would that be for me to say something book worthy to Z! I feel very blessed to have been a Sister In Goddess with Z and am so pleased to be an official SBA geek squad trouble maker stirring the cauldron of the world right now. Rock on Sister Z! You’re words are inspirational to us all! Blessed be!
This magazine is sponsored by the Women’s Spirituality Forum. Please help support our efforts to help keep the Goddess Alive!
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UPCOMING LIVE EVENTS
The Goddess Temple of Orange County Events at The Goddess Temple of Orange County are designed for women - Sunday services
SPECIAL TEMPLE-SPONSORED EVENT! TEACHING, followed by RITUAL with Z BUDAPEST (for women), December 12, 2009 CLASS: "The SOUL WARRIOR WOMAN" ... ...a short and powerful class -- in Z's own unique, funny and to-the-point style! -- on hexing rapists and other harmers of women-- what hexing means, what it doesn't mean, and how to do it properly, ethically and with power. The word "hex" has tremendous negative connotations in our language and culture; patriarchy depends upon everyone accepting without question its false premise that women should feel fear and shame for even considering using our magical female abilities on our own behalf ... yet the ancient priestess knew the great power in hexing ethically to help keep women safe from those who would harm us. In January of this year, Z, leading a group of thirteen priestesses, conducted a hexing of four Bay Area rapists who raped and tortured a lesbian woman ... and within a few short days, the Justice of the Goddess had begun. (See video on her website.) Learn from Z Budapest, an honored foremother of modern day Goddess spirituality, how to hex effectively, in group and individually. Shares Ava, Centerholder of the Temple: "Self-defense must be energetic as well as physical, and true protection must be held concomitantly in the Unseen World, as well as the Seen. How long will we tolerate the intolerable crimes against women? We women speak "peace and love," yet the crimes continue. We must speak "peace and love" AND hold magical energetic knowing and protections. Maintaining healthy boundaries, saying 'Stop ... now!' is not unspiritual; to the contrary, we are of the Goddess, we are surely Her precious Priestesses -- and holding ourselves as valuable enough to do this is one of the most spiritually mature actions we women can take -- must take. There is great power in grandmothers, mothers, sisters and daughters coming together to claim this for women everywhere." Ava will speak on moving through the world projecting the energy that radiates Divine Power to increase personal safety.
HEXING RITUAL: following the class, the group will perform an ethical hexing on a selected individual or group of individuals who are known to have harmed women that week. INFORMATION: Orange County Goddess Temple or 949/651-0564 Also www.zbudapest.com Check out Z's Dianic University online, classic Goddess books, and more great things at Z’s website!
Temple of Diana Artemis Camp August 21-23, Quebec, Canada Contact Falcon: www.artemisarchery.com 613.728.8221 or linneasr@gmail.com In this supportive and non-competitive environment, women will learn how to apply the practice of archery as a metaphor for attaining goals in daily life. We will learn: • • •
Basic archery skills, equipment use and selection, and archery range safety practices. About the Amazons through the literature and art of ancient Greece and modern archeological research, and the goddess Artemis, ancient of ancient and contemporary wild women. How to practice archery to hone your magical skills. Learn to center, raise energy, focus your will and release your intention toward a specific goal.
Fee: $ 295 CDN (some scholarships available) Accommodations included - rustic cabins or camping available. All archery equipment will be provided.
HEALING ART SERIES: PRIESTESSING YOURSELF & OTHERS with Ruth Barrett, September 26-27, 9:00-4:00pm Great Sophia Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, Palo Alto, California Ritual serves as a bridge to carry purposeful, symbolic meaning to the personal or collective consciousness. When a woman empowers herself by ritualizing life passages, she emerges into a new reality, a new conscious awareness. In this 'hands on' intensive, participants will learn how to "think" like ritualists. Through a unique, guided intuitive process, you'll learn how to draw intuitive information forward to develop the purpose, theme, energetics and appropriate structure for your ritual. This seminar will provide you with the insights, tools and guidelines to learn to trust yourself as a ritualist, for yourself and others. You will learn how to use ritual as an enriching tool in your practice as a healer. You will become aware of the "perceptual language" of the person you are facilitating - to enter her "model of the world". You'll also gain appreciation for the importance of intuitive personal and ritual making as a tool for healing, transformation, empowerment and making your practice, and your life, more meaningful. Cost: $350; $250 financial hardship; $175 student with ID; CEU's available for $25 Pre-register early to secure your seat. To register, go to http://www.itp.edu/bursar/index.php?cPath=22 For more information: http://www.itp.edu/resources/divinefeminine/healingarts.php
CONCERT with Ruth Barrett 7:30pm, September 26th, Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, Palo Alto, California $20 General Admission at the door, $15 for workshop participants. Open to All. Pioneering pagan musician, singer, and fretted dulcimer artist, Ruth Barrett will present a special magical concert of original goddess and woman-centered songs and traditional Celtic folk music.
Daughters of Diana Gathering 2009 October 8 - 11, 2009, Southwestern Wisconsin Make magic, make meaning-full fun in sacred play with your sisters in the woods of south central Wisconsin. We'll have great food and warm, comfortable lodging. Come drum under the harvest moon, sing in sacred circle, shoot Archery and celebrate the season in community ritual. Workshops are in the very early planning stage. Gathering registration cost is $260.00.
CAYA Harvest Home Magick & Music Festival www.cayaharvesthome.com Sept. 18- 20, 2009 Stone City Pagan Sanctuary, Livermore, CA We have two separate camps set up at this event and one is an "Amazons Only" camp with specifically Dianic activities, but men are on the land. Costs: Early registration: $80 per adult before September 1, $40 per child under 18 (children under 3 are free). Regular registration after 9/1: $100 per adult, $50 per child under 18 (children under 3 still free). Attend Saturday only, no overnight: $25
The Sacred Circle ~ Recovering & Reclaiming Ancient Ways to Heal our Lives Events in The Sacred Circle are for members only, unless otherwise stated. Call JoAnna 775-882-1599 for membership inquiries.
Miri Hunter THE TEMPLE OF LOVE CONCERT
Music and Poetry of Love For all of those who asked....this is my Bay Area Performance for the summer...I will be joined by Sister Nau-t on drums..... Host: The Sacred Well, 536 Grand Ave., Oakland, CA 8:00PM Tuesday, August 18th
Come Join the Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One Make some Trouble! JOIN HERE
The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries & Book Clubs Florence Nightingale once asked, “Do you think it is possible to be a religion whose essence is common sense?” We found this question in her autobiography, and were excited to answer, “Yes! There is! The Earth religions are such that their essence, their dogma so to speak, is common sense.”
It has been a long time since the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries was first published. It started as a small hand printed brochure, then reprinted again and again because the demand, the hunger for spiritual information for women was so deep. Today it holds the herstory of a spiritual awakening of modern women. I see this book as the revolutionary child of suffragist Elisabeth Cady Stanton who saw religion as a major reason for women’s oppression. Religion of her day deified the gender apartheid, and devalued women as decedents of the Eve, who were blamed for the lost paradise (climate change as it turns out) for all humanity. This religious agreement, to blame women for the laws of nature, is most unfair … an ignorant crime against the spirit of women. This is the big bad cloud we had to dispel. We don’t merit punishment. We merit great praise that we as women managed to continue the human race in spite of all those cruel climate changes. The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries gently leads you back to your own sacred heritage as women. Women’s culture included specialized holydays celebrating life, death and all that is in between. That’s the essence of the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries. In order to value ourselves, we first have to clean up the self-hatred installed into us in childhood. We offer spells for Blessing on our bodies, spells to keep us safe and healthy, blessings on our decisions and goals. When a woman studies this book, she comes away with inner skills taught nowhere else in the universe. Feminism is a good word in the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries, we become aware that we are not the first wave of women coming to consciousness, but we follow a thread of female soul evolution from time immemorial. We learn
about other women who contributed to this steady flow of energy from our foremothers to modern times. Most of all we learn how to align ourselves with the universe, and celebrate what is real. The eight major Sabbaths are the turning points of the earth spinning around the sun; the changes of seasons which in turn give us our daily bread. Each has their own rituals and themes, which we can now relearn and practice from the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries. We give special space to organize each other into covens, groups, book study reading clubs, consciousness raising groups, etc. When we gather together our real knowledge grows faster. Nothing has to be taken on faith here, Goddess culture is based on observation. But sisterhood is not a given. That we must learn, through studies and practices which create a loyal web of women-centered family around us. This is a beautiful goal, a worthy goal, and the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries helps us to realize it. If you were too young to experience the benefits of the power groups of the heroic age, now is your chance to become the continuation of that historical thread. We support you as a student, as your time allows. No matter what parts interest you, the herbal remedies, the herbal occult supplies, the meaning of the colors to our psyches, the ancient women festivals, the remnants of the Goddess worshipping fraternities, the politics of food, the philosophy behind the Goddess and gods, this book is a reference to your heritage as a woman. Gloriously in print since 1975, the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries has not lost its pleasing teaching fragrance. Women are still awakening and will continue to do so this century as well. Be part of it. Create yourself … everything else has been done. It’s time you focused on YOU! In previous issues of Goddess magazine, we have talked with you about how to create and support healthy women’s spirituality groups. In this issue we are focusing on Book Groups, Book Reviews and how you can win free books. Mickie Mueller and Z Budapest
I changed the Dianic University to an application process for free membership a few months back. One of the questions I asked new applicants was if they worked with The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries. I was shocked to find how many of the new women entering the world of Dianic sisterhood had not read the Holy Book, many didn’t own it and those who did still hadn’t studied it.
Sisters, the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries is the pagan woman’s bible. It holds answers and resources for most of life’s occurrences, and is required reading within the Dianic tradition. Women need the Goddess. They can find her within the pages of the Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries. If you want to study the Holy Book with me personally, then I have created the Dianic University for that purpose. If you want to study the Holy Book together without me, then I have just established a new online book group for you to tap into. Women are awakening together. Or you can study solo. Whatever you decide, action is your next step.
This magazine is sponsored by the Women’s Spirituality Forum. Please help support our efforts to help keep the Goddess Alive!
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HOW TO SUBMIT If you have work that fits our criteria and you would like to see it published in Goddess magazine please send it via e-mail to zbudapest (at) gmail.com. Send in within the body of the E-mail. No attachments will be read. Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for response. Include in your submission any and all author information you would feel appropriate to share with others.
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Dianic Wiccan Clergy Priestess Overview It is the goal of the Women’s Spirituality Forum to provide our members with herstorical and philosophical foundations of the Dianic Tradition; including ritual and spiritual practices from which to provide Clergy Priestess services to the public. Dianic Tradition is an ancient Goddess and woman-centered, Earth-based, feminist denomination of Wiccan religion. We are a teaching tradition. In the Dianic Tradition, clergy are required to complete course work that enriches their understanding of the sacred feminine Craft through cognitive and practical hands-on experiences to use in their roles as clergy priestesses to the Goddess and Her women.
What is Dianic Clergy? Clergy is a Greek word meaning “heritage” and from its origins, developed into a name for the persons who kept records and practices of the heritage. In the Dianic Tradition, we refer to the Clergy Priestesses as the active keepers and practitioners of our traditions, records and practices. These are Goddess priestess women who provide spiritual support to women (and their families) worldwide; and support women’s rights as feminists.
Ordained Dianic Clergy is not the same as an Ordained Daughter of Z Budapest. Ordained Daughter is an honorary title for exemplary community service gifted by Z Budapest directly. It has no legal ties to the Women’s Spirituality Forum.
What can I do with this? Ordained Dianic Clergy can perform public rituals, including marriage rites, under the legal auspicious of the Women’s Spirituality Forum non-profit status. The Women’s Spirituality Forum, Inc. is a 501 ( c ) (3) tax-exempt religious, educational, and charitable organization. Income you earn as Dianic Clergy and keep is not tax deductible. Income you donate to the Women’s Spirituality Forum, Inc. is tax deductible. The same is true for portions of the income donated to the Women’s Spirituality Forum, Inc., but only the amount of the donated portion would be tax deductible.
What is expected from students enrolled in this program? The Women’s Spirituality Movement, which reclaimed the Dianic Tradition, was based on two principles of action; movement happens through the written word and through the physical doing. We will require both from you. Expect to produce high quality materials that you will use in your Clergy Priestess practice. We expect you complete your training in a reasonable amount of time. You may not complete this training in any less than a year and a day, and not more than three years and three days. We have made concessions for life’s complications during your period of training by allowing you longer than a year and a day to finish, but also realize that this is a very serious and intensive program for only the most dedicated of Goddess Women. Live In-person trainings are required. Online classes in the Dianic Wicca University are required. Ordination as a Dianic Clergy Priestess is required before you will receive any acknowledgement of successful completion. This ordination must be inperson at an event of our choosing. You will be required to complete an academic body of work using a variety of mediums (written, video, audio, etc.). You will attend in-person events where you will be required to perform leadership skills and be observed. If you meet all these requirements satisfactorily, you will receive ordination as a Clergy Priestess and an official certificate. Who should apply? Women-born-women who live their lives as females, and are seeking to enrich their lives and the lives of others by becoming knowledgeable about and intending to become practicing clergy of the Dianic (Feminist) tradition of Wicca, an Earthbased theology, as founded by Zsuzsanna Budapest.
Statement of Dianic Wiccan Faith As a Goddess and woman-centered, Earth-based, feminist clergy, you must support, defend and be prepared to propagate the basic principles of Dianic Wicca as follows: 1. Maintain a living practice the Manifesto of the Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One. 2. Practice the Dianic Wiccan Rede code of ethics that honors the Earth and Her creatures, "And it harm none, do what thou wilt." 3. Honor a feminine aspect of deity.
Ethics of the Dianic Wiccan Faith
Manifesto of the Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One (Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries p.1-2)
Dangers of Magic (Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries p.10)
Only the Women’s Spirituality Forum can ordain clergy under the auspices of their non-profit status. While other non-profits might have their own clergy, their credentials are not substitutions for the training and credential of the Women’s Spirituality Forum.
The Application for Dianic Clergy Priestess is online
You know, I love editing this Goddess magazine every month because it allows me time to go through my cache of photos, and inevitably I end up spending countless hours visually loving Z remembering our wedding, our walks in the cemetery and other various events. I smile. I laugh. It fills my heart something wicked wonderful when I see her smiling face.
I’m crazy about her. Especially in the morning when she’s just woken, as she grabs a cup of coffee and her reading glasses. I know she’s about to pour out the night’s dreams into her journal. That’s the magick!
There’s a lot you don’t know about Z. A lot that you’re going to find out about soon. Z’s finalizing a contract deal with Llewellyn Publishing for her autobiography. I know many of you really wanted it in print. Well, that’s the power of many souls making the same wish isn’t it? Things happen. Sometime in 2010 Z’s autobiography will find its way to print. We’d love to hear back from those of you who bought the first three chapters released on disk. Email Z! Let her know what you thought so far.
In this photo, Z and I attended the wedding of Dell Martin and Phyllis Lyons. Gosh! It was exciting to see these two women legally married … again! Dell gave me a lovingly-stern lecture that day. Told me I’d better take good care of Z or she’d know the reason why. After this ceremony was over, Z and I went out the front doors of City Hall where all the protesters were. I planted a big one her for everyone to see! She squealed in delight! Good times! You know, I don’t call her “Z” too often, mostly in the company of other people so it’s easier. But at home, she’s my “Zsu” … or affectionately, my “Zsu-be-do.” Best said with a Scoobey-doo voice. You might not know the story about how we betrothed, as it were. Z’s lived alone all her life. She’s had some awesome lovers; still friends. They stayed over, but none ever lived with her. None ever married her either. Might be the Hungarian temperament?!
Well, it was early on into our relationship. Z thought she’d better lay down the rules for me. So, she gave a nice lecture about how she wasn’t the marrying type, and how she didn’t want to live with anyone. It was a stellar talkin’ to. I’d give it a 9.5 rating. When she was finish, I smiled at her and said, “That’s ok, I already know I’m going to marry you.” I didn’t even get to finish the rest of what I was going to say before she interrupted me. “Did you just say you’re … did you just ask me to marry you?” She was smiling. I thought it safe to say, “Yes.” And, it didn’t hurt that we were in bed together when all this took place. Location! Location! Location! Z didn’t even falter. After just giving me her litany of rules, she tossed it all out the window and said, “YES! I’ll marry you!” The rest was smothered by kisses. We’re all fortunate to have Z influencing our lives, me especially. I’m blessed. Loved. We have a spiritually rich, creative Goddess filled life together. We’ve started working on the next Goddess Festival … 2010 … so start saving up for it. And those who are seeking to become Dianic Clergy, should save up to attend Pantheacon this February. Details are being worked out, but consider this a righteous heads-up. In addition to her autobiography, Z and I are working on a couple other books, a TV show and a lecture series. I’m still trying to find time to process videos and make more for you. Z has started Skype lectures as well. All-in-all, with the help of the Susan B. Coven, everything is going gangbusters and the Movement is on fire again. We’re looking for women in our local Bay Area who would enjoy devoting some time to working with Z in-person. Email Z if you’re interested. This should be a calling for you – all volunteer. Z said she had lots of women approach her at the Women’s Music Festival who wanted her to know how much they enjoyed the Goddess magazine. I can’t tell you how happy that makes us feel. Share this magazine with all the women in your life. We can only grow the Women’s Movement with your help, and you’ll be making a difference in the lives of other women.
I can’t believe we’re coming up on our one year anniversary since our wedding. May the Goddess bring us all closer together. In peace and harmony. Through voice and deed. Let us all be Sisters in Goddess, celebrating the joys of life together. And if you want to “make trouble” and enjoy sisterhood, check out the Susan B. Anthony Coven No.1. We have a wicked good time together! Blessings,
Bobbie
WIN FREE BOOKS CONTEST Congratulations to our August Free Book Contest Winner: Suzie Reid All of you on the Goddess magazine email list can participate. Z and I got in touch with Llewellyn Publishing and pitched them on the idea of offering all you a chance for free books in a contest with a fun twist. The concept is simple. Llewellyn gives you a chance to win a free copy of one of their books, and in return you agree to read it and write a book review for Goddess magazine. You get a free book, their authors get a little free press and we get to offer this cool contest!
Next month’s special book to give away for free! The Goddess is in the Details by Deborah Blake
Be a Book Review Goddess! Book Review Contest Rules
Must be 18 years or older.
Must be a member of the Goddess magazine email list.
Free books must be shipped to addresses in the USA or Canada.
One entry per member’s email address per book.
Send entry to zbudapest (AT) gmail.com. Title it “FREE BOOK CONTEST.”
Winners are notified by email.
Mandatory information: Full legal name, address, city state, country, postal code, email address.
Book Review Winners Obligations
No negative reviews.
Write about what you did like about the book.
In your own words, write a 300-500 word review of the book.
You don’t have to recommend the book, but you can if you want to.
Work must be all your own writing.
Book reviews must be completed and email to us 30 days after receipt of book or sooner!!!
Book reviews must not be published anywhere else for 30 days after publication in Goddess magazine. Then, you go to Amazon.com and Powells.com, and publish your review with an additional sentence at the end “This book review was originally published in Z Budapest’s Goddess magazine.”
All reviews become the sole property of the Women’s Spirituality Forum. We will publish your review at BookReviewBlogger.com and in the Goddess magazine.
Dianic Clergy Priestess Training
PLEASE LINK TO US:
Several sisters sent in their applications for Clergy training, and we wanted to let you know we have them. We’re beginning to process your applications and you will be hearing back from us shortly.
The Goddess www.The-Goddess.net
Did you want to apply too? The Application for Dianic Clergy Priestess is online. More information on the Dianic Clergy program can be found towards the end of this issue of Goddess magazine.
Goddess Belief www.GoddessBelief.com Dianic Wicca (Dianic Wicca University) www.Dianic-Wicca.com
Come Join the Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One Make some Trouble! JOIN HERE
The Goddess Blog From the women of the Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One and The Goddess comes a new, very funny, entertaining, thought provoking, tear inspiring and female centered online journal we’re calling the Goddess Blog.
IT’S NEW! CHECK IT OUT! We are the women of the Susan B. Anthony Coven Number One, and we have a few things to say to the world. Please make yourself an account on our Goddess blog and join us in conversation, leaving us comments. It is in the pages of the Goddess blog that women’s hearts come together in common bond to a rhythm that is uniquely female and plainly beautiful.
CURRENT TOPICS: Dreaming Tarot: Meeting The High Priestess Summer Solstice, Witchlet Musings The war against the vagina and our womb rages on! Temple of the Goddess The Amazing Sisterhood of the Susan B. Anthony Coven No. 1 Dianic WITCHCRAFT Across the Cyber-Realms: Technology Unites Two Witches of the 21st Century Susan B Anthony Coven in Real TIME! Hillside Green Goddess Z Budapest at Women’s Music Festival
Aug BOOK REVIEWS When Ghosts Speak book review by Bobbie Grennier (Book Review Blogger)
When Ghosts Speak is an absolute page turner for those who wanted to know what happens after you die … which means, this book is a must read for most of us! I received my copy of When Ghosts Speak as a gift from a friend, Ro, who said the book literally yelled out to her … SEND ME TO BOBBIE! Without hesitation, she bought it and shipped it off to me and honestly, when I opened it and began reading … I didn’t stop until it was finished. Mary Ann Winkowski answered some of the nagging questions I’d been asking for years, and I am forever grateful to her for writing this book; as I’m sure are many of her readers.
And, I’m also grateful to Winkowski for setting the record straight as to what is fact and what is fiction with regard to the TV show The Ghost Whisperer, which is loosely based on the life and experiences of Winkowski. Reading When Ghosts Speak allowed me to delve deeply into many of the possible scenarios and circumstances under which ghosts consciously decide to stay earth bound. I wasn’t too surprised to hear that fear of what awaits them at the pearly gates of judgment is a primary reason for staying put. Winkowski, while Catholic, isn’t your typical “there’s only one way” type of theology-minded individual. There’s just no way that you can have these types of experiences and not grow beyond your own religious ideologies. I also loved that Winkowski continues to use the family folklore and heed superstitions as passed down through her Italian lineage; keeping the old ways alive. She honors her grandmother’s memory and her living relatives by using the quince seed charms to keep discarnate spirits from sucking energies from their wearer. Winkowski has a website where you can buy quince charms from her directly. When Ghosts Speak is a very touching series of stories about compassion for souls who find themselves stranded in the wrong side of eternity. Winkowski’s abilities to see ghosts was fostered by her grandmother at a very early age; would that more families would encourage their children this way. The world would be a lot better off. This is a wonderful lesson for all families on dealing with death. It’s ultimately a lesson for us all about what to do if we find ourselves haunted. What we should and should not do in an effort to help ourselves stay healthy, while also helping the spirit to cross-over.
Winkowski says learn to make the white light or direct the ghosts to the nearest funeral home where the recently dead will have white light for them to pass over through. Brilliant! I’d never thought of it. Personally, I loved this book so much that I went out and bought a copy for my best friend. I can hardly wait for her to read it so we can discuss it together. As for my copy, I find myself continuing to carry it around the house. I’ll most likely reread it … it’s just that fascinating. Get your own copy of When Ghosts Speak.
MICHELLE HASSENSTAB REVIEWS “DANCE OF THE MOON” This book was an awesome book to read. I really enjoyed reading it because it took you back into ancient times and threw the different cultures of people like in Egyptian, Jewish, Celtic, Babylon, Greek, Roman, Muslim and even in the early Christians. In this book it shows how these people lived without calendars and clocks like we do now. These people lived by the moon, earth, and even the sun cycles. The moon phases showed them how to live by month by month. They went started with the full moon and they counted until the next full moon which was about a month. They attuned themselves with the moon phases by knowing what phases to have their scared festivals to celebrate and how long to celebrate them. And women counted the full moon phases to show them when they will get their monthly periods and when they will give birth. They also attuned themselves and lived by the earth’s changing seasons to get them through the years by showing them when it was time to plant, harvest, reaping, and to save up what they have harvest for the winter. And show these people when to honor the Mother Goddess. And then it goes into a different time of age where the sun was being notice by telling what time it was during the day, by the sun rises in the morning towards the east and sets in the dusk towards the west. It also showed the two equinoxes with the sun’s cycles. They noticed that the sun rose differently everyday and that showed them when one of the equinoxes came. And it also tells about how the solar God came and was born in the winter time. That is how these people knew when the winter was ending and spring was coming because it was getting lighter. It also gave people to know when scared days were a little easier because people were now going by the sun set to celebrating their holy days and festivals instead by going by the moon phases. This is also when people found and was using the zodiac. Then it got even easier when the priests or priestesses started making calendars to show the people when it was a good time to show honor to their Gods and Goddesses. These calendars showed these people when to have their festivals. This book also shows the different religions calendars that I thought it was interesting.
I have explained some of the book on how these people lived by the sun, the earth, and the moon. How and when it came the time to celebrate their sacred festivals. I really recommend this book to who wants to know about the history and how these people lived back then. To know the different religions, holidays, and calendars. How the moon, earth, and sun works together making seasons, days, months, and even years.
Female Sexuality and The Goddess Path by TAMMY ABREU-BUTRON Introduction There is a growing interest in Earth & Nature based religions especially among women. Earth based religions are those that honor the Feminine Divine, fall under the umbrella of Paganism, and include Witchcraft, Druidism, Shamanism, Native American, Huna and numerous others. Pagan comes from the Latin word “paganus” meaning country dweller or refers to a rural area (Zenmundo). Witchcraft has two main divisions, some traditions are under the Old Religion, and others are termed Wiccan. Wiccans follow world mythologies such as Norse, Egyptian, or Celtic. Most of the Old Religion can be traced back to the time before monotheistic religions became the norm. Witches relate to Goddess & God through Goddess & God aspects (myths) found throughout the world. The Goddess Path honors the Goddess with an emphasis of the Feminine Divine over masculine. After all, “All things come from the Goddess, and to Her they must return (Valiente). “ A well known Poem, The Charge of the Goddess by Doreen Valiente, as adapted by Starhawk is the center piece for many Witches and exemplifies the beauty of Goddess and women (Valiente): Listen to the words of the Great Mother, Who of old was called Artemis, Astarte, Dione, Melusine, Aphrodite, Cerridwen, Diana, Arionrhod, Brigid, and by many other names: Whenever you have need of anything, once a month, and better it be when the moon is full, you shall assemble in some secret place and adore the spirit of Me Who is Queen of all the Wise. You shall be free from slavery, and as a sign that you be free you shall be naked in your rites. Sing, feast, dance, make music, and love, all in My Presence, for Mine is the ecstasy of the spirit and Mine also is joy on earth. For My law is love is unto all beings. Mine is the secret that opens the door of youth, and Mine is the cup of wine of life that is the cauldron of Cerridwen, that is the holy grail of immortality. I give the knowledge of the spirit eternal, and beyond death I give peace and freedom and reunion with those that have gone before.
Nor do I demand aught of sacrifice, for behold, I am the Mother of all things and My love is poured out upon the earth. Hear the words of the Star Goddess, the dust of Whose feet are the hosts of Heaven, whose body encircles the universe: I Who am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon among the stars and the mysteries of the waters, I call upon your soul to arise and come unto me. For I am the soul of nature that gives life to the universe. From Me all things proceed and unto Me they must return. Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals. Let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence within you. And you, who seek to know Me, know that the seeking and yearning will avail you not, unless you know the Mystery: for if that which you seek, you find not within yourself, you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning, and I am That which is attained at the end of desire. Contrast the foundation of The Goddess Path – the celebration of life and nature in balance, to that of the Catholic Church’s teaching of Human Sexuality Catholic Library on Human Sexuality (Trujillo), Chastity in Marriage 20. "Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence." 30 Parents are well aware that living conjugal chastity themselves is the most valid premise for educating their children in chaste love and in holiness of life. This means that parents should be aware that God's love is present in their love, and hence that their sexual giving should also be lived out in respect for God and for his plan of love, with fidelity, honour and generosity towards one's spouse and towards the life which can arise from their act of love. Only in this way can their love be an expression of charity. 31 Therefore, in marriage Christians are called to live this self-giving in a right personal relationship with God. This relationship is thus an expression of their faith and love for God with the fidelity and generous fruitfulness which distinguishes divine love. 32 Only in this way do they respond to the love of God and fulfil his will, which the Commandments help us to know. There is no legitimate love, at its highest level, which is not also love for God. To love the Lord implies responding positively to his commandments: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments" (John 14:15). 33 In order to live chastely, man and woman need the continuous illumination of the Holy Spirit. "At the centre of the spirituality of marriage . . . lies chastity, not only as a moral virtue (formed by love), but likewise as a virtue connected with the gifts of the Holy Spirit -- above all the gift of respect for what comes from God (donum pietatis) . . . So therefore, the interior order of married life, which enables the 'manifestations of affection' to develop according to their right proportion and meaning, is a fruit not only of the virtue which the couple practise, but also of the gifts of the Holy Spirit with which they cooperate." 34 On the other hand, convinced that their own chaste life and the daily effort of bearing witness are the premise and condition for their educational task, parents should also consider any attack on the virtue and chastity of their children as an offence against the life of faith itself that threatens and impoverishes their own communion of life and grace (cf. Ephesians 6:12). 122. Human sexuality is a sacred mystery and must be presented according to the doctrinal and moral teaching of the Church, always bearing in mind the effects of original sin. (New Advent)
One finds Christian teachings are riddled with strict conditions on sexuality - only in marriage and only in order to procreate. They encourage chastity in marriage as well. In short, sex must be dirty, unless it is for the sole purpose of creating a child. An example of this sentiment is expressed below (Francoeur): Men who are not wantons or immoral are bound to consider sexual intercourse [morally] justified only when it occurs in marriage and is indulged in for the purpose of begetting children, since that is lawful. [Sexual intercourse is] unjust and unlawful when it is mere pleasure-seeking, even in marriage. (Lawrence, 1989, p. 11)
Background Female Sexuality has long suffered within the context of mainstream organized religions, particularly those of Christian (76.5%), Jewish (1.4%) and Islamic faiths (.5%), practiced within the United States (Religious Tolerance). Women are made to feel ashamed of their bodies and sexual desires through direct admonishments and overlaying themes of male supremacy. Even god is defined as male, often referred to as “He”, “King” or “Lord” and all references to women are either those of Virginal and Good, or Whorish and Evil, but never Divine. Mainstream Religious Creation stories begin with men being made in god’s image and women as a bi-product of the first man. The Christian god Jesus, known as the Son of God, was born to a virgin mother, Mary, – not a Goddess, but a simple untarnished (virgin) female. The implications are, once a woman has sex, she is sullied and unholy. Further there is no such thing as a Feminine Deity. In some African & Islamic Countries female genital mutilation is a widely held and even a celebrated practice. Unicef reported in 2004 that 97% of Egyptian women had undergone some form of FGM (Religious Tolerance). It is no wonder women are often inundated with feelings of shame and guilt while making love or just thinking about their sexuality (Religious Tolerance). The only acceptable sex, for a mainstream religious woman, is for the purpose of procreation within the confines of marriage. How dismal to be a woman in this world of male dominance where the very idea of female sexual gratification goes against “mainstream” religious teachings. The good news is things are changing. Recently, The Goddess Movement has become known and is growing in popularity. According to Religious Tolerance, in the ten-year period since 1990 the number of people reported being Wiccan or Pagan has grown from 8000 to 134,000 in 2001. The underreported numbers are doubling every thirty months. During the same period of time, Christianity has declined from 86% to 76% in the United States. It is estimated by 2024 nonChristians will out number Christians in America. One of the reasons for the decline in mainstream American religions is the broad discrimination against women, coupled with the rise of right wing or evangelical practices. These extremists seek to control every aspect of parishioners lives, and of those not of their faith, alienating many. The California Same Sex Marriage debate is an example of extreme evangelical views on marriage, and their willingness to impose their narrow-minded beliefs on all, even those not of their faith. Women are asking themselves how can god exist only in the masculine, when in nature, it is the female who creates life. The Goddess Path helps to liberate women from religious guilt and shame. By recognizing Divinity as Feminine energy, either singularly or in balance with Masculine energy, freedom from sexual guilt and shame, can be first acknowledged, spoken about, and eventually resolved. Ann’s Story (Research) Ann describes being raised by her Spiritualist grandparents. At age five her fifteen-year-old brother molested her. Her grandmother blamed the incident on her. Ann began to identify as a virgin, a way of keeping her power over her body and spirit, until she turned eighteen. She became pregnant with her first sexual partner and tied her pregnancy into a sense of shame for willingly having sex, and perhaps even more disturbing to her, enjoying her sexuality.
When Ann met her future husband she was still experiencing shame over sexual feelings, she explains: “It was with him that I had my 1st orgasm. I was so traumatized (yes traumatized) by this because it was the most pleasurable thing I had felt and so it ultimately was the most disgusting thing I had ever done. I was covered in shame and dread...so much so I made him stop what he was doing and get off of me. He was so confused and asked me what he had done wrong. I had told him he was disgusting, that he was some sick and twisted demented fuck and he had to leave me alone. He did NOT under any circumstances force me to have sex with him. He was kind, gentle, and passionate. I could not handle the disgusting nature of my own body reacting to the act with such pleasure! I cannot express the amount of shame I felt because of this.” Ann eventually married and gave birth to four daughters by him. At the same time she began to investigate Witchcraft, and at age eighteen or nineteen became involved with a Gardnerian Coven. The High Priestess knew her as a child, slowly and patiently began to teach her sexuality was a natural and good thing. She remembers: “She (HPS) would remind me how I was the child of the Goddess, her beloved daughter and how sexuality is a gift of life and nothing to shameful for, not the act itself nor the pleasure received. She (HPS) said the more pleasure I received from sex, the more pleasing it was to the Goddess. During the throw of ecstasy, I was actually honoring Her….” “It took time, but over the course of years and deep work, I began to understand. I began to allow myself to enjoy sex as a sacred gift of the Goddess. I began to treasure my body, my sexuality and be open to learning and experimenting….” “Goddess spirituality has opened up many, many doors to me. It has allowed me to embrace my wild and sexual self rather than run from the self-imposed shame I used to feel about it. It has also allowed me to be more open with my own daughters, to teach them they too are sexual beings and that it's OK for them to hold on to their virginity for as long as they feel they want to or at least until they feel they can emotionally take on the physical, psychological and spiritual consequences of having sex.” Bea’s Beginnings (Research) Bea describes being raised in a patriarchal Southern family. Both of her parents went to catholic school taught by “mostly mean” nuns and priests. She reports her mother was taught that sex was very dirty, and a girl could get pregnant just by sitting in a chair vacated by a boy. Her father had numerous affairs while married to her mother. Her mother blamed the affairs on the other women. Bea remembers her father’s pornography being readily available and his nightly watching of sex movies while being drunk. She recalls a particularly troubling incident: “One of the most traumatic incidents I can remember was when a neighborhood friend and I were caught looking at my dad’s porn magazines. We must have been about 10 years old and had our OWN hands in our OWN pants. Mom came in and found us. She sent my friend home and made me get on my knees while saying the rosary. I don't remember if she even talked about it. She just made me feel very, very nasty and dirty. I was BAD. It was confusing, because my father was always making sexual comments.” Bea is fairly recent to the path and is in the process of self-discovery. Trinity’s Tale (Research). Trinity is a child of divorce, her mother remarried several times. She describes her as a “free spirit” whom she lived with until age eight. Trinity was then sent to live with her remarried father, a police officer, and devout
Christian. She went from having no religion, to being raised by Fundamentalists of First Southern Baptists. Trinity recalls the hell-fire and brimstone congregation and her life from age eight to sixteen when she ran away: “My paternal grandfather was an itinerant preacher, and my grandmother was constantly plugged into her Christian radio programs via her transistor radio. My dad was working all the time, but my stepmother was young, only 14 years older than me, and I loved her with my whole heart, and would have done anything for her. My grandfather had converted her from Catholic to Baptist after she and my dad married. So.... needless to say, I lived with a lot of repression and threats and guilt for things I could not control, like hormones, for instance. Having been exposed to my real mother's freewheeling lifestyle and having seen lots of naked men in her bedroom, I was very precocious.” Trinity explains she knew a lot about sex and sexuality, but not how physiology played a role in the way she felt about her body. She didn’t realize sexuality was a natural part of growing up. She thought herself sinful and like her mother – ‘a whore’. Her father’s constant words “just like your mother” reaffirmed this belief and contributed to her guilt and shame. She recalls being horrifically raped at fourteen by a twenty-one year old “boy” she had a crush on: “…One day he offered me a ride home from the movies. He had other young guys I knew in the car, so I jumped in. Instead of taking me home, we went and partied, and I drank brandy and got a little high. Then he dropped off the other guys, and took me up into the mountains and while I thought we were just going to "neck", he had other plans. He savagely raped and sodomized me, repeatedly. When he finally let me go, he told me that if I ever told anyone, he'd have 10 of his friends say I put out for them too....” “I couldn't tell my family.... as far as they were concerned; something like that happening was "inevitable", given who my mother was. I just knew that they would say that because of the way I dressed and wore makeup, and had the crush on him, I must have "asked for it." He knew I couldn't tell my family, too... and he came back for me again and again. Finally, I ran away. I was 16.” Trinity explains that she ended up in Wyoming, some 1500 miles away from her father’s home. At seventeen, a married man dumped her, whom she’d fallen in love. She felt numb and began to have sex with multiple partners. Within in two years she was pregnant and at the end of her rope. She describes a pivotal moment of her life: “I remember that I drove out in the blackest night, on a deserted country road.... not knowing what else to do. I put my head on the steering wheel and cried. Suddenly.... like a song on the breeze, I heard a woman's voice saying to me that it was all going to be alright... that I was loved and cherished, and I would have a daughter that I, in turn, would love and cherish. A sense of peace and calm came over me, and I never felt anything but joy about the pregnancy again. My parents asked me to come home (my stepmom, especially, because she couldn't have kids, and she wanted to be near to help me with the baby)... so I moved back to southern California. I never knew whose voice spoke to me during that black night.... I just knew that I was forever changed by it.” She returned to Christianity and attended the Calvary Chapel, which she describes as a really out there evangelical church. She believed her children should be exposed to religion, and had no idea about Goddess religions, then. She recalls being too inhibited to tell her husband what she wanted or needed sexually, nor being able to make a sound while engaged in sex. In her mind sex was dirty, and therefore pleasure from it must also be dirty. She would not allow her husband to perform oral sex because “no matter how clean I was, I’d always been told that my genitals were “dirty.” And the natural odor of my vaginal juices was repulsive to me, so how could it NOT be to him?” She recalls a family related incident, years later, when she again heard the mysterious female voice while arguing with her grandmother:
“... and..... just about that time, it was like a lightning bolt hit the floor beside me, and I heard this enormous voice in my head, FEMALE, saying to me... "NO!!! How dare YOU???? How DARE you question OR judge the love I give one person for another????" “It was an incredible, awesome, terrifying thing. AND, it was the same voice I’d heard in the car the night I found out I was pregnant…I left the church that day. I wandered for two or three years, not really knowing what I wanted or needed spiritually.... until I met Cici (fictitious name). She told me she was involved in a kind of "women's spirituality movement" and I was very curious, and wanted to know more. She gave me the names of some books to read.... the Spiral Dance, the Woman's Spirituality Book, the Holy Book of Women's Mysteries, When God Was a Woman, Gyn-Ecology, the Chalice and the Blade....I devoured them all.... and I found a home in the arms of the Goddess. I also read a book called The Skeptical Feminist... and I got so mad that I literally couldn't speak to men for nearly two years other than on a business level.... Anyway, I knew I would never again honor a God.... only the Goddess….” “…Cici and I are still together, although we separated for a few years, and during those years, I further explored my Goddess-given sexuality. I am now so comfortable with sex that I can easily make my needs known, and also listen and respond to the needs of my partner. I attribute this sexual “freedom” to my relationship with The Goddess, and ONLY Her…. through other women, perhaps, but Her energy and Her compassion flowing from Her, through them, and into me.” Conclusion It is my hope; humanity will free itself from religious doctrines that encourage the degradation of women, ranging in practice from female genitalia mutilation to the less obvious - yet as insidious a practice as the indoctrination of guilt and shame of women, simply for being female. It is my will; these stories will become memories of our past, no longer active in our daily lives. In all, eighteen women shared their poignant life stories with me. They represent sexual diversity ranging from heterosexual, to homosexual, to bisexual. They share a journey from shame and guilt, into love and acceptance of their sexuality - whatever that sexuality may be. It is a blessing to find the Feminine Divine and within ourselves, a path to freedom. Works Cited: Crooks, Robert. Our Sexuality. Ed. Vickie Knight. 9th . Belmont: Thomson Wadsworth, 2005. Francoeur, Robert T. “Catholic culture and Sexuality”. (Originally published in: ENCYCLOPEDIA OF SEXUAL HEALTH, Volume III, Chapter 3) 2005. 18 June 2009. http://www2.hu-berlin.de/sexology/GESUND/ARCHIV/catholic.htm Religious Tolerance. “Female Genital Mutilation.” Religious Tolerance Website. July 7, 2007. June 22, 2009. http://www.religioustolerance.org/fem_cirm.htm Research interviews, various women from Z Budapest’s group were asked the questions “Has the Goddess Path impacted your sexuality, if so how?” All names have been changed to fictitious names. June 2009. Robinson, B.A. "Religous Identification in the United States." 19 July 2007. Religious Tolerance. 18 June 2009 http//:www.religioustolerance.org. Trujillo, Alfonso Card. Lopez. "The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality." 1995. New Advent (Catholic Library). 10 June 2009 http://www.newadvent.org/library/docs_cf9601.htm. Valiente, Doreen. Charge of The Goddess, as adapted by Starhawk. Reclaiming Website. 16 June 2009. http://www.reclaiming.org/about/witchfaq/charge.html Zenmundo. “A Practical Definition of Pagan.” H2G2. 04 June 2001. 21 July 2008.
Goddess Resource Links Z Budapest Website Dianic Wicca University Online Dianic Nation Women's Events Z's Blog Z's Events Schedule Z's MySpace Calendar Z's University Calendar Z's Books Summoning the Fates Holy Book of Women's Mysteries Celestial Wisdom Grandmother of Time Grandmother Moon Goddess in the Office Goddess in the Bedroom Holy Book Herstory Have you ever wondered the who, what, where and when's of the creation of the Holy Book of Women's Mysteries? We've put together a web page that highlights the answers to these questions.
Please share the Goddess with your friends. Have you done your self-blessing today? We do self-blessing every day. In fact, it's the first thing I do every morning when I rise as I'm preparing to get dressed. It's good mental health. Do your self-blessings and life will be sweeter. The SelfBlessing is on page 120 of the Holy Book of Women's Mysteries.
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