HEAD S PA C E
Is creating a beautiful setting enough to guarantee a harmonious and happy home life with a family? Probably not. Mama seeks some assistance from the School of Life
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mages of beautiful family homes can be seen everywhere. Small children are artfully stumbling down stairs, their hair cutely dishevelled. Breakfast tables feature stylishly mismatched crockery, the crumby remains of a meal scattered elegantly. Sofas have cushions intact. A single pair of shoes is neatly arranged in a hallway. Th rows are casually tossed across flawlessly made beds. Swathes of well-ordered space is shot from all angles. If a visitor from another planet were to fl ick through the pages of a magazine, they’d think humans lived in flawless spaces with decorative objects tastefully displayed on shelves in groups of three. But here are some of the things you never see on Instagram. The total kitchen devastation caused by children baking cakes. Abandoned towels on the floor. Messy piles of dog-eared leaflets. Shelves of tatty books arranged with no regard for size or colour. Yesterday’s coffee cups. Discarded shoes, especially muddy ones, or lone ones. Unfi nished craft projects too big for the cupboard. The detritus of family life requires endless clearing up, throwing away, sorting out, and that is, ultimately, what home means. The key to a happy home life, according to the School of Life, can’t be found in a new rug or in matching towels or even in a loft conversion. Happiness comes through emotional intelligence, nurtured through ideas and discussion, and it’s entirely immune to the colour of your walls. The reality of family life comprises arguments, sulking, irrational
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behaviour, door slamming and general emotional volatility – is this what we’re trying to tame with our storage solutions and our careful lighting? If home is a state of mind, how can we achieve the serene yet characterful home life implied by all the heavily styled images? The School of Life, Alain de Botton’s centre for the pursuit of emotional intelligence, has a few tools to offer. Many of them are simply conversation starters – but they’re very well thought out (not to mentioned elegantly packaged, so they also work as decorative objects for shelves). We start with 100 Questions: Family Edition, which is a simple box of cards, each featuring a leading question that can apply to all ages. It’s designed to be an improvement on this familiar exchange: “How was school today darling?” “Fine.” “Did anything interesting happen?” “No.” “What did you have for lunch?” “I can’t remember. Stop asking me things.” Instead, here are “100 carefully composed questions designed to get you into imaginative, thought-provoking conversations between children and adults”, neatly packaged “for families who enjoy lively discussions and meaningful conversations,” it says. It’s pitched to be revealing, rather than exposing, and to appeal to all ages. In my household, everyone is keen to play. First question: “If you had to join someone else’s family, whose would you choose?” Ouch. Th is could easily lead to one of our oft-revisited rows, which begin with the recrimination: “Stella’s mother would never put spinach in
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“ WHAT ARE WE TRYING TO TAME WITH OUR STYLISH STORAGE SOLUTIONS?”
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04/05/2018 09:18
