Mind Vs. Pen

Page 1

BY YULLI BOUZA

Mind Vs. Pen

Mind Vs. Pen By Yulli Bouza

Š 2012 Lulu Yulli Bouza. All rights reserved. ISBN: 978-1-105-76060-0 Written by Yulli Bouza. Design and typesetting by ZetDesigns Inc. www.zetdesigns.com All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the author.

For Him, For Her, Forever love. God Is love.

Wishes

I need just one wish One wish to relinquish that....which perturbs my purity And stains my soul... With... The girth of heartache and The weight of cries... Is it ever possible to love a lie? The false persuasion Selfishly intended to deceive... A bribe To pull in your mind Strip you bare Reveal your soul In hopes Of great reward...

Yet the induction Is corrupt And practiced A disguise I need just one wish The desire to bid On life With yearn.... Gloat in craze of Spiritual satisfaction Compaction of heightened elevation Stimulation To thinking Resulting In invention Creation worth To describe Inflected languages Genitive of real Love

I dream with wishes.... To scream while drowning in words Dwell in growth beneath quicksand... To summon truth Beckon passion To forgive And Understand Renewal Noting Relations between human In... Kind

If I were granted one wish‌..it would be to be blind So what I hear And see in the world, may never coincide To divide Truth That hides In between lies... You gave me When I believed You were my lover... My wishes...

Tunes My soul has a melody that only it dances to The music pulls the strings of my heart like an instrument And this song becomes the rhythm of my pain

Woman I am all of the woman that I am I am all of the woman that I can be Today and tomorrow I am all of the woman of my woman, I am the WOMAN of my woman

Love

I miss the days when your laugh Became my music and your smile Like a bird singing on the rising morning Your voice a kiss to my ears like the sun Dances with the moon, both turning Your eyes a beautiful flower in my empty field of fear I miss the days when I held your heart near

I Fell in

Love

The love we started was sweet Innocent, Kind, and good Our love was pure like a child But it has become defiled, not good You left me here dying with sadness In my mind I fell in love With you but At the wrong time Because I gave you my love But it didn’t survive It didn’t live past the time It required to grow, So it died

Parallel Universe Amongst angels, demons Exist Aside good evil lives Demons once angels Angels never demons What’s good can never be evil But what’s evil can be good

I Write

I write so that I may never forget that I am Thinking and Because I can think, I can live, I can breathe, I can give My love and efforts to the world Like God did “Where there is a will, there is a way�

Untitled

I have learned Yes, I have learned My heart has gained My eyes have earned My ears have heard My mind has learned

I Seek

I seek to find my voice in this earth This cold hard earth I wish to find my voice along the cracks of dirt I hope to find my voice In the silence of my daily noise I dig to find my voice upon the flowers and the trees I search to be my voice So I can be heard And I could be seen

Like Wine

Drink of me And see that I am good Not sour Not bitter Nor sweet But good and pleasing to the taste Drink of me and see that I am good, Like wine

Ifs

If the wind were the depth of my soul, My love would travel A thousand miles

If my eyes were as deep as the ocean, My pain will ripple like currents Forming waves

Ifs #2

Ifs#3

If my heart could speak It will sing sweet lullabies Of silence Numbing my thoughts Into islets of remorse and Regret

Crash

Our hearts fall to pieces Our thoughts fragments of pain Tears become my food We try our best But sometimes our best isn’t good We break into pieces Shattered broken like glass And our entities float into galaxies And crash

If #4 If I could have you back I would profess my undying love for you Everyday

One of those Days There are days when my spirit Gets weak, No strength to crying No will to trying Just weak The heart beats slowly Breathing faints Thoughts they whisper, But the mind too weak to think There are days when my human flesh grows weak

Ifs#5 If my love were to die, it would reincarnate to find you again, Because when I love, I love And I love you

To Begin The indentations of your fingers pressed ever so slightly upon my skin Have slowly faded with the memories of gentle breaths panting. Inhaling empty satisfaction of measured elevation to soothe And at the climax of darkness the dawn of your silhouette moves, From where it once rested to sighs of “I miss you�.

Falsetto We give so much time trying to love The ones that we set so high on pedestals Making them so unreachable To find that their devotions Are only on level grounds

Gone Away The kiss between my lips And your lips Must have been a dream, Because as my love parted toward you Your devotion grew farther away from me I woke up this morning And your love for me had just gone away Far away

No Title If only our minds can kiss and hearts could Speak, what kind of love would that be?

Things We give up things With desires to attain New things Hoping these new things will Grant us access to more things, Different things But what good are these things?

We We die We live We die

I Will

I will accomplish my dreams I will complete my goals I will retain faith I will be bold I will laugh often I will find joy in living I will do the things I will to do I will

Resentment I laid my soul bare and This is my resentment Because sometimes Life treats us so unfair

Thieves You stole something from me Took it, ran with it, and never returned it, Like thieves that come in to steal at night You stole a piece of my heart and won’t let it go What was mine is now yours

Worldly

We prepare for events we are accustomed to prepare for in the world, However ignoring those aspects that we should direly care more for in the world, Worldly isn’t it

Love Me

Love me again Just once more Love me again With more Love me again But this time with your heart and soul Love me Love me like you didn’t love me before Love me

Don't You Don’t you miss me, I ask myself many times After time, time after Don’t you miss me?

Worthwhile The little things count For many and this makes life A little more worthwhile, Sometimes at least

Realism

There are dreams that seem so vivid So close to reality There are dreams that seem so real

Covered

With you, Lord I cover myself with you in the morning And at evening, and at noon time I cover myself with you, Lord With your love, strength, peace, mercy, joy, & long suffering, Each day I wake up and I cover myself with God

Anew

Jesus took my broken pieces And give me a new start I am a new creation Revived and renewed Stronger than the flesh Wiser than the matters smothered in the world I am a child of God, A sister in Christ And that doesn’t mean I am perfect But that means I am imperfectly perfected with Divine

Not Enough You didn’t love me enough to love me You didn’t love me enough to love me being me You didn’t love me enough to love me in me You didn’t love me enough to love the me that I could be Your love fell short of love to love me Your love was not enough

Dear Journal Dear journal, I am all out of thoughts to render, ideas to cast explanations, I am all out of thinking Of trying to find answers to my questions Or my request for query At this moment I don’t care to know anything but peace and silence Dear journal, today I have no words

Feeling

My greatest feeling is knowing that I haven’t lead another Into their own misery With my full intent Because after I gave you what I gave you Your lies I couldn’t forget

The Poet

The poet in me has awakened because It takes a little pain to produce great work And I must admit Many times I have been hurt, And hurt and pained And for every sorrow my pen produces Words Weeping torn and disdain

I Sing

Music evokes writing So I sing silence To produces words Kissing poetry And this is the beat that my pen dances to

Unanswered Questions

At times I find myself Asking God, why? Why do things happen the way that they do Then I come to realization, who am I to question the Will of God? Who am I? How can I question something so divine?

I Miss You

I miss you I don’t want to miss you But I do

Matters

These matters are just Regrets of instances We haven’t forgiven, Yet These matters are just moments in Life that like pages in a book, We haven’t flipped Yet

The Move I sit still Waiting on that constant Movement From within Still I am waiting in stillness

Regret

My deepest regret Is to extend my love to entities that don’t exist But I suppose knowing that love is apparent Is a gift

Heaven One day I will Find true love and It will be like heaven

Tell Me

Tell me what am I supposed to do What I am supposed to be Tell me Where am I supposed to go from here? Now that from your lies I have escaped Do I run with truth or Do I die with regret? Of once believing That your truth was a lie To begin with

Help I can’t help but wonder if you wonder about me, Too And what we used to be and The things we used to do Our love was good Wasn’t my love good to You

Blank My heart still feels This pain And sometimes this pain doesn’t heal And the hurt still lingers With passion With time And then I am felt blank Just blank

Some Days Some days I call out for you I reach out to you but you’re not here There’s no one there

Over

You moved on I moved on Our lives can’t be shared We can’t be friends

Mind Versus Pen #1 It seems my mind Has been fighting The urgency of my need To write

I Love, You Love You love, I love Hearts break so easy Pain sticks so hard To the mind, I love, you love And sometimes it may hurt and we may cry But you love, I love I love, you love

Needs vs.Wants Are you needs a necessity, if not there are not needs If I don’t need it, I don’t want it If I don’t need it, I don’t want it I thought I needed you for my life But I may have been wrong Sometimes love is just a want

Mind Doesn't Matter

If you aren’t loving hard Then you are not loving at all If you don’t love with your heart Then you are loving wrong The mind has no matter in the areas where the heart demands

Illusory

I was so convinced it was real Not aware that, That reality was an indefinite illusion.

Options

Not matter what you do, It’s either all or nothing You always have the option To either win Or lose

Epiphany

I have reached the inner realization That I have arrived where I should be Without realization of traveling along the path, Today I had an epiphany And it felt so real

Untitled Reflection Retraction Refinement

Savory Sweet

&

I savor the moments when I realize I didn’t realize those moments of unreason, reasonably so. Hard things come easy. Easy things come hard. Realization is savory and sweet

Broken Heart, Lost Souls

The hardest thing is trying to live without the person you can’t live without Sometimes you want it Sometimes you don’t And sometimes understanding means there are something’s you will never come to know To each his own We once were two hearts but now were broken We were two souls But now we’re lost

Keep Looking

We are always looking for The person that will fill our souls With a little bit of them That one person That matches our thoughts with their smile Like the ray of light that matches your shadow upon every moving tile I haven’t found this person, So I guess I will keep looking‌.

Mind Versus Pen #2

I desire to write a plethora of poems, in abundance as to create my second book of poetry. I want to bathe in the satisfaction of words depicting thoughts yielding images, allowing my mind to be visible. I need penmanship to ooze from within‌mind versus pen again...

Preference

I prefer the painful truth Other than that sweet lie I prefer honesty Rather those lovely words humans like to disguise I prefer reality coated with misery Instead of that fairytale Wrapped in tragedy

Mind Versus Pen #3 Sometimes I just write because I like how the words look against Blank pages and sometimes I wan to write about the beauty that hides in the Emptiness of my poetry embedded in my soul I have a pen in my heart that my mind can’t control

Faith

I don’t desire the riches of the world But rather the wealth of faith in my heart, For because of faith I have a brand new day The sun will shine

His

His provisions never fail, God’s supply never falls short.

Since

Sometimes there are no better words than these No better sigh of relief but these tears that I grieve, I never thought. No we never think When it comes to love We rationed not to give second thoughts Because, It was just us‌ And this was our love

Inside

A void of isolation Trapped without define Substance given yet never refined No name But it exist Parts Belonging to particles That embodied time Resemblance of emotion Lacking taste There is this Emptiness inside Of my heart My mind can not invade

I Listened I listened to the music I listened to the people I listened to the preacher I listened to the teacher I listened Did you hear me? I listened, To everyone But me Don’t worry I still listen But not so much With my thoughts I listen To every word And every word And every sound And everyday I listened But nothing was said Silence You gave me, Silence But I listened‌instead

Thank You Thank you God, For life Thank you God, That today I am alive and well Thank you God, For the many things my mouth cannot tell Or express with words Thank you, God

The End All good things come to an end But I wish That I didn’t have to pretend Because I Know that I love you and I know That we can’t be friends And I know that You love me, so you said But perhaps This is the end

The World World I don’t care what The world may think of me I don’t care if I am ever rich I don’t care if I die, Tomorrow Because I have helped to the best of my ability And I have offered the best that I can give

Falling Slowly

Slowly we drift into Images of things left Behind other things To become Objects just smiling Making pretend

My mother says That we are never alone because God is always with us My Mother says if He loves you, He will do everything to keep you My mother says; don’t worry because everything happens for a reason My mother says; that in life the truth has its seasons… My mother says…and I listen

My Mother

You can want for so many things But you can only get a few, A little too many, Things of nothing, Of a few

Little Too Many

This Life

This life you have got seek it Live it Teach it That you are in control This life you have got to give it what its Worth Life will take its course as long as you keep driving it where you want it to go

Intentions

I had every intention Not to call you Never to speak to you again I had every intention to ignore your calls I had every intention to move on And find another love But you called And I answered My intentions gave in‌

Nothing

There’s nothing more saddening Than setting high hopes And being disappointed What an empty feeling it leaves behind

Open Words

I wish to write in the same fashion In the same manner With the same Fervor With the same trust With the same love With the same capacity of thoughts I had before I wish to express exactly how I felt when I laid my thoughts, my beliefs, and my opinions In open words Knowing that this was my very own poetry I wish to have this feeling again I wish to have that moment again So I can grab it and hold it tightly and never let it go But sometimes wishing Is a false sense Of ideology esteemed with pretense

We Get

We get to this point After fighting for so Long And giving so much We get to this point where We start to ask, why? Why?

Him

I give you an hour Hoping it was Him That was sitting Here aside me Wondering if, you too, Imagined you were Him Here in my company Conversing and Dinning Starring into my eyes As I starred back at Him and not you But I share this hour with you That in my mind I spend with Him Simply because I don’t love you, and I will always love Him

Valentines Blues

This is the day for Love’s But I have no one to love

Quiet Grave

Lies so deep And after the years The pain still creeps Lightly upon my skin And the hurt cuts my mind just as sweet More than the truth Are these burnt sensations Of memories I keep In this quiet grave

I want so bad To make you stay I want so bad to make you call I want so badly for you to love ME, But my needs are more important than my wants And I am now, Currently Accepting that I may never get all those things From you that I want Although I want so bad to I am learning that maybe you don’t love me like you say You do And maybe just maybe love isn’t a need but just a want

Bad, Bad, Bad

Deep Wells

Maybe I don’t want to touch it Because I am afraid of how it will make me feel Take me deep Deeper Darkness Bleeds In dungeons And the pain Sometimes I don’t want to touch it With my poetry Because I believe my poetry won’t allow it to heal

Sometimes we want that truth To become those lies Sometimes we need those moments Where we sit and cry Sometimes we seek that hope In God Just to get by

Sometimes

Solace

Alone here In thoughts filled With solace, Just me and my solidarity

No Name

Blind Invincible to the person, you weren’t real Because loving you took A piece of me That if given back, I wouldn’t recognize again, still Deformed, distorted, just wasn’t the same With the touch of your name The kiss of your words Ripped the being of my heart with discourse Burning my purity In just every way But I shall not mention your name

The Truth As time goes by My only hope Is that I don’t lose my trust in God In a world full of chaos

The things we can never

Escape

As I fight back the tears After we lost some years Apart And I sit here at work Holding in the fear With a smile Because this morning You finally replied And the message read: I moved on,…. And it hurt And it hurts And I don’t want to cry Anymore Because I couldn’t escape the wasted Time And emotions

Porcelain Eyes

I wonder If when they look into my eyes, Can they see the Pain I hide Behind these porcelain eyes These eyes that give an imagery of life back to the viewer But behind the pupils that retina has died Cried to death And just keeps looking And dying

Universal

At times when I am deeply hurt And wounded by someone or matters I think to myself, Is this how God feels When I hurt and disobey Him? Is Pain universal?

Exists Love

Existed love? Silently in the desperation of our cries Resting in the empty spaces of our hearts Exists a love that never dies?

It Is hard

It is s hard to say hello When some day we will have to say goodbye It is hard to say I love you When some day that same love will surely cry Of pain and sorrow It is hard to laugh today When we are not promised tomorrow It is hard to live happily When death grieves our souls sappily Is hard to live When it is so easy to die

Love Never Dies Souls may perish Days may fade Hate my appear But love True love Real Love Pure love, Love never dies Love is forever

What is itWorth? I can write these beautiful things I can give my words elevation As the floating clouds on empty vanities Drift peace into music Like wild lilies and dried orange leaves Fused to blue skies I can give, I can take fire and water and Make a combination of love like tightly sewn feathers on wings of a bird To fly and laugh like pain Kiss you as many grains there are sand, hold your heart with my bare hands, If I can create poetry that will soothe a dying spirit to heaven And grant wings to angels What is it worth if you couldn’t understand?

You Left

You left without saying goodbye You left without a kiss farewell You left without telling me you loved me You left me with the need to love you You left without closing the door And some days I wait for your return‌.

There Are Days

There are days when I miss him very much And I wonder Why we couldn’t Be together

Real Love

There is no love and devotion Without care and protection, This is real love If you love me, Mr. Man, you will care for me If you love me, Mr. Sir, you will protect my thoughts and my needs If this is love and you are devoted to loving You will care and protect the entirety of my being‌

Still Living

I have seen many faces I have suffered many pains O’ have I cried plenty tears I have loved several times I have lost and I have gained, But my name hasn’t changed I have exerted my mind I have dwelled in time I have extended efforts, but I haven’t died I am still living Despite the heart of my cries, I am still alive

My cup Is full I received my portion and it’s real I received my portion and it’s mine I have my portion and My cup runneth over I am satisfied and full

Not a fear In the world If the world were to end today, I would not be afraid because I have experienced The power of God and The miracles of faith.

If Only

If only I can make my body His temple If only I could make my heart His home If only my soul were re-born If wouldn’t be the same as I was before If only

Tis' Morning

The days have past And I can’t wait till morning

Change Gonna Come Sometimes you get so mad in your heart, your mind changes Sometimes you get so hurt in your thoughts, your heart changes

Untitled

I have mistrusted a lot noise And entrusted that silence is the best reward, The greatest of all teachers, the worst of All hurts‌ I have mistrusted a lot words But from silence I did earn Whether pain or truth Silence does move Silence does seek If only I would have listened To nothing Instead all that noise people tend to speak

No Doors

No doors will be opened Until we have acquired what Where supposed to acquire before Exiting Unclosed doors‌

The Path of

Truth

My greatest challenge is to know myself Evaluating who I am And what I am to be My greatest challenge has been working with Myself to be true to myself The greatest work in this world Is to Love the person I have to be And understanding the difference Of being me and just simply existing In a world amongst prisoners where freedom is Only found within thee

WeOften

We often ignore the matters We should give attention to And give attention to The matters we should often ignore‌

Even

Even through the toughest of moments, life goes on Sometimes you have to do the things you don’t want to do, To get the results you have always wanted And I have reached that mental break through Life goes on

Philosophy Sometimes the things you thought aren’t what you know… Sometimes our knowledge isn’t knowledge Until we gain what we thought we knew after what we thought we know The best thing you can do for yourself Is separate the truth from reality

Everyday

Everyday it’s supposed To fade, It grows deeper still

Dear God

Dear God keep me Keep me in my right Keep me in my right kind In my right mind In my right sight Dear God Keep me, So that what I see, hear, and think Can equally coincide

Hope

We can only Hope that through every Experience There was a lesson Learned I have learned a lot of lessons, yet I lave yet to learn

A Perfect Home A perfect home is that Place where faith is Laid out on the table A faith that is true And pure My home wasn’t perfect but It was Good enough for me

Above

Above everything there is Hope Hope to dream Hope to Hope Above everything, above all the worries, all the strife, all the grief, and the faith There is Hope Hope to live Hope to love Hope to cry Hope that amongst the living, we are still alive Without Hope there is no will to try

Ifs#7 If God is love, then what are we? If God is a spirit, then who are we? If God is eternal, then can we embody time? If God were present inside of us, would that grant us inheritance to all things Divine? If God is Lord and Lord is God, does that mean we are Kings and Queens, heirs of pristine?

A Rose

If I were a flower I would be a rose, A beautiful orange rose with Thorns, Thorns that would protect from the The wind, And the desert, and the people, who would wish to have me in their hands and have me as their own, although It will make me dried, and old and brittle If I were a flower I would be a rose, an orange rose with thorns

One

There is always one Only one of that one thing, person, thought, thing, God At the end of the day There is always only one

No Title

We are living, We exist But what are we useful for What do we provide to the world that can be used? Do we light the sky in the morning by rising up the sun? Do make the stars to twinkle in the dark ? Do we push the earth into rotation so that it can spin? Do water every single rose so that it can live? I am not useful to the moon But to the moon, my love I give

A Poet in

Me

I strive to become a professional in an Industrialized world With The realization that I have already become Who God created me to be I am a poet Just a poet with a pen Poetry defines me Words refine me And there are days when I devote my thoughts only to poesy And then I realize I was born To write, and writing is my gift to this life

Often

I am often told of beauty And some days I desire to behold that beauty To see Exactly what others see The warmth, the scent of bees Like Honey dripping upon old willow trees Crying The moans of the clouds dying The swift in fantasies of Being awake while dreaming The pain of a child screaming I often wish to behold that beauty

Brilliance vs.Insanity There is a thin line between many things There is a thin line between brilliance And insanity A very thin difference And that difference, I believe is Repetition Are we brilliant or Are we just insane?

Ifs#6

If my heart were to take shape, It will outline you, Because I do love you

Waiting inVain

I don’t want to wait For your love So I will move on I don’t want to wait in pain Yes, it will be vain

The Past Sometimes I believe it’s a dream It couldn’t have been real How could this be true, Is this true, Why didn’t it pass me over, I shouldn’t have been there, It shouldn’t have happened to me, I was good, I was kind, Wasn’t I good? Aren’t I good? But the pain still catches me screaming, And if I were dreaming Wake me from my despair Because this tear no longer cries From the time where I was there…

America Needs America needs glasses to magnify the speck of hate That has our hearts calloused into stone America needs glasses to view what we are doing And what we are doing it for, Because sometimes I believe we don’t know what we are doing‌ America needs glasses to magnify loyalty amongst the American people America needs glasses to see that the targets we launch return like boomerangs In the form of missiles

Expectations There are moments when we get ahead of ourselves In trust, we lust before we must, Liquefying our hearts with passion of just Because, Elevated expectations that led to Unexpected disappointments And after the beginning of it all, We are hurt, Hurt that the excitement fell through

After the Years After the years I must’ve grown old My heart must’ve grown cold with imaginative things Because as of late My fantasies are idle So I must’ve grown old, I am not a child anymore, After the years

Land of Tears In the land of tears lived One single butterfly of a rare kind With the most extraordinary colors Different from all the other butterflies In the land of tears that butterfly exuded beauty of all sorts Extravagant in flight with wings long like feathers and bright like pearls In the land of tears that rare butterfly cries Because she is so different from All the other tears‌ so she cries

Turn the music up,

Please!!! I wonder if I turn the music up loud enough Will it drown out my thoughts? Because at times, there are times When I don feel like Thinking those same old thoughts

Naked Truth

The truth is we live in times of misguided youth Following a lie they believe is true Where culture means they all do what other people do Where wisdom is dispersed but cursed with our thoughts The truth is we all have been misguided nakedly With blinders in our youth, But now what do we do?

No One Knows

No one knows how much it hurts me That I am all alone No knows the pain I feel When I am all alone No one knows that I cry sometimes Because I am all alone No one knows Because no one ask So no one knows

A Page

Those pages of feeling sadness Emptiness Mistrust And non-good use of pages of non-encouraging Wages of war, A page

We Wait

We wait for things Waiting for things Waiting for moments when We will stop waiting to wait, We wait

No Depth

There is no depth to the supplement No underlying surprise Just poetry to describe my mind There is no deepness To my writing No secret message to find No depth Nothing To define my cries

Again

Again Here it goes again Those things I should or shouldn’t engage in, again

Comfort

I find comfort in comforting My thoughts But is this really healthy

Sweet Nothings

Those words you said Are sweet nothings in disguise But how savory the taste And sweet to my eyes When I was empty on trust, And full of those lies

No Justice No Peace

I sit here and reflect Thinking If thinking will bring my thoughts Anymore justice Or at least peace

Bedtime

I go to bed wondering, If I will awake With a message from you in the morning

Single Item If I were given a single item I will choose you To write with my pen

I Wonder I wonder if you pray for me Like I pray For you, I wonder If prayer changes things Like “They”, Those people say It will do

Senses

Sometimes I think I have come to my senses But then I realize I’ve just misrepresented time

12:24am

Its 12:24am February 15, 2012 And I am not sleeping

Feeling Words

I am in a mood of feeling Words sing crescents between hearts To my mind Like those love songs You hear on the radio late at night

Those Words Those words that make you Feel good inside Deep down inside Where you Find those feel good feelings, I need those words today

Because

this is how

I am Feeling I write this phrase to justify The moment Because this is how I am feeling, now Currently in this instance of time

The Next Time We say this to ourselves often, The next time will be better, Greater, The next time will be good with hopes That the next time we would do The things we should

Kiss Me

If I could become music and drift into your heart Will you receive me? If I were a sweet touch will you accept my kiss

The Sweetness I lost the sweetness of life In the past of pains

Still

The years have past The grass is still green The world still spins And I still love you, Like the birds still sing

War Peace I got to find peace in my mind Despite the raging war of cries

Tomorrow

Tomorrow you will love me You will love my potential You will love my mind You will love my heart You will love my honesty Tomorrow you will love the person I am

My Prayers

Lord protect my windows and doors as I lay to rest Lord protect my family and friends Lord receive my prayer In Jesus name, Amen

Matters

I don’t’ mind sharing my pain If it leads to happiness, I don’t mind

Home

Take me whole Make our love your home Home is where the heart is And your heart is mines Let down your guard and open your doors To our home

Ripped

Like a black rose in a bed of red roses I want to rip the love of you From inside of me. Because it doesn’t belong there It’s so out of place.

Cry

When the smoke clears, I don’t want to cry

Unfinished

We have ended something That is so unfinished

Despite

I wasn’t fit to love, but I loved you anyway I wasn’t fit to be loved, But you loved me anyway

Euphoria

The sensation of elevation Is at its tip Prepared to ooze, And this feeling is euphoria

Dear, Lord

Dear Lord, Give me strength today

Love Exist Love does exist In the darkest Deep empty spaces of sorrow Love does exist in the invisible places of tomorrow Love does exist in the midst of pain Love does exist in the moments that can’t be explained Love exist, Although we love it not or accept it so Love exist, Despite the reasons why we abhor it more Love exist, In our rotten broken souls Love exist, If only we will open the door to our core Love exist, And sometimes it’s real And sometimes it heals And sometimes it hurts But love exist

Be it As it may

I may walk alone, But my efforts have sown the reap of its reason My desires the strength of its season I may walk alone But I have faith, Be it as it may

There Isn't

There isn’t anymore you and me There isn’t

Have You Ever Have you ever read something that moved you in such a way, causing a shift in Your thinking and aspirations‌. Well every time I read I want to attain that shift...

To

Tupac Shakur I have not met you but Your presence is ever more effaced Your words spoke And I’ve listened To your poetry And now my poetic pen Has risen To inscribe my gratitude to your Poetry and Your truth To Tupac Shakur

God is

Faithful

He is faithful Faithful to my needs Faithful to my wants Faithful to my pain Faithful to my emotions Faithful to my trust Faithful to my thoughts God is faithful to my thinking He is faithful Faithful to my hopes Faithful to my dreams Faithful to my understanding Faithful to my faith Faithful to my knowledge God is faithful to my person He is faithful Faithful to my spirit Faithful to my soul Faithful to my mind Faithful to my heart God is faithful to me Faithful to the work of my hands Faithful to steps of my feet Faithful to the love that I keep God is faithful and he is faithful to me

Hue-Man

I guess I am only human No different than anyone else However still not the same Unique to my being But our grief and our happiness offer to our lives the equivalent Pain So I guess I am only human, A person with my opinions Living the same life-tied games Just with my independent thoughts and rules in my brain

Ecstasy

I smiled And you smiled back at me And at suddenly together, for that moment we were in ecstasy Our hearts held hands And we laughed

Twice

Within the mystery of life I am consumed with hope, again Twice

There Is

As long as there is a God, There is something worth Looking forward to There is And if you want to, you can put the world aside And just cry, Because there is a little freedom Found in our tears There is deliverance in our fears

It Seems It seems That a new chapter has opened And these are the pages of My new beginnings

I Am

Whatever the circumstance I am grateful

You

Sweet is the taste of the shinning moon upon closed eyes Vain is the wait of having you again in my arms at night I usually don’t think about you, but as of late, you have been on my mind I wonder if I’ve been on your mind too…

Now

It’s over now I am all cried out And I am stronger now I am wiser now The pain is gone And I can overcome

What a Fool

What a fool I’ve been for falling in love With you, Thinking that you really loved me like I loved you What a fool I’ve been for thinking You’d understand that my heart calls for you What a fool I’ve been To believe we could be friends What a fool I’ve been for extending My love and receiving nothing in the end

Life Goes On After the pain, life goes on

Always Ends

Tonight I said my last goodbye My last goodbye to our love And to every sweet moment There will always be an end

Can I

Can I love you, can we do the things Lovers do

Last

I have said my apologies I have spoken my last words, To you

The Things

I Wish Could Be

Like the song our love sung The touch of your kiss upon my tongue Having you again‌..are the things I wish could be

Bad Habits I always say to myself The last time is the last time, But that isn’t always so

Skin

Can you clothe my body with you like my skin? Can you pump with each beat of my heart and get in tuned with my soul Can you hold my hand while we sleep and follow me in my dreams?

Things Together

Some days, The good days and the bad days Come together to make Other days better

Dear Journal #2 I thank you God, Thank you for the good And the bad Thank you, God.

Happiness

That pain won’t last That hurt will fade Disaster is temporary Fear is vain

Faith

Like flowers need water to survive I need faith to get by

I Couldn't

I couldn’t give you anymore than I’ve Given Because I gave all that I had

Gratitude

Thank God for big sisters and good mothers, Thank God for brothers and present fathers I am thankful

Remember

I hope you remember the Reason you left me and When I see you again, I hope That reason can justify what you did it for

Sweet Words I haven’t been the best lover, But I pray my love has served you well

Feelings

I don’t have much confidence in those words Anymore Not because of you But because those People who have expressed such sentiments Toward me and Have proven otherwise

The Map When I look at the map, I ask myself, is this all the world? But it seems so small, The world isn’t enough To expand my imagination I need a bigger map!

&

I am Willing I am Able

I am willing and I am able to give you my brilliance In the form of compassion I am willing and able To seek devotion of sweet soft feathers in the form of kisses I am willing and I am able To preach teaching in the desire to the need of the way you should look me In my eyes When I am feeling like my feelings inside of my being I am willing and I am able to let go of something

Dreams

It’s the 199th page in my book And I am a page away from my goal, One word away from my dreams

Reality

to

Cheat Sheet In life we should have a cheat sheet, That will give us all the rules To loving, baring pain, and seeking truth In life we should have cheat sheet, That will making living more smooth

A Little

We all have to die a little Scrap barriers of skin to trust Hearts of strangers Because without opening Our souls a little to death We couldn’t experience the passion of love We all have to die a little with each breath Embrace the knowledge of escaping apprehension To receive the corrosion of hearts joining, increasing in dimension We all have to die a little to love We all have to die a little each day We all have to die a little to live

Open

I embrace the world with an open heart Because everything has its purpose And everything is allotted its time All entities have a reason

A Little

They Say joy comes in the morning But I wake and I rise and I wake and I rise And I rise and I wake and I rise and I wake With thoughts and no one to share with them with They say joy comes in the morning But many nights, many nights I have not slept and many mornings I have wept With sorrow on my mind They say joy comes in the morning They say they say they say They say they say they say That joy comes in the morning But I wake and I rise and I rise and I wake With my demise but What they say are lies Lies, lies, lies

Freedom

I want to choose life over death Love over pain Joy over sorrow Eternity versus tomorrow Today I chose freedom

Deliver

Like the wind that Blows lightly across clouds To touch the most purest Elements after the storm Lord, please deliver me

Shadows

The past becomes a shadow Of darkness that fades with the day Where transparency replaces non-illuminate void To the brighten the future To pave a new way

Arms Open I gaze upon the profound sky To receive its richness

Birds Call The tides dwindle to see Happiness upon the horizon And the birds call joy to Greet me

God is Beautiful

God is like a breath of fresh air Taken in with the entire sweetness God is beautiful

Awake

I lay in bed thinking Wishing That I were sleeping But I lay in bed thinking Covered with thoughts of awake

I don't Know

I can’t see what I am Up against But I know that There are many things That I must defeat

I Said

I said this time I am going to move over I’m going to move forward This time I said I’m going to get better I will do better I will be better This time This time These times I said

Unconventional We are so different But our love cannot be effaced, We are so unparalleled, yet our love is the same Our love is so unconventional

I Want

I want to work for you, Lord I want to make my calling And my election sure

They Say #2

They say They say I wonder if what they say really Makes logical sense “For by our words we will be justified and By our words we will be condemned”

One Day

One day at a time One step at a time We get closer to the narrow path

If I Can

If I can Just let go If I can release my control and Surrender To you, Lord If I can you will And your will be done If I can just do your will Your will be done earth as it is in heaven If I can

Always There I wonder if I will ever get there, Where I’ve always wanted to be

Should I

Should I take this chance, In love there’s always a risk‌. Of disappointment, Discouragement of empty possibilities Should I take this risk?

Thoughts

If thoughts could speak what Would they say? If thoughts were tangible How would they feel?

I Am

I am the great I am I am a little older now I am

No Title

This poem doesn’t have a title No subject No fame Just words pouring from my heart Hoping things would change This writing isn’t the same Because I am empty Lost without a name

Ways

I have my ways You have your ways I pray that our ways Become “our” ways And we could be “this” same Way forever

Something When lovers love, It is a sweet thing

Those Days

I have those days Where nothing seems right, Except for crying As if the release of my tears will relinquish The fear, we all remain silent to Some how I hide The pain well Because when we converse my smile is evidently a distraction Of what I withhold within Underneath my skin Like a second layer of clothing

I said that I wouldn’t take you back again I said I wouldn’t love you, anymore I said That I would move on I said I wouldn’t think about you But my heart just doesn’t listen to the things I said, again

Back Again

You Gave Me You gave me the choice to be able to love again And I decided that I wanted to love you I opened my heart and gave you a part of my soul And you gave me, a part of yours You gave me the option To love And I lost Because I made the choice to love you

Good Mornings

I miss waking up to your lips I miss waking up with “Good morning� and your kiss

We Went We went from everyday conversation To simple hello’s We went from profound to nothing above below We went from deep admiration to mere friendship We went from a kiss on the lips to a slight kiss on the cheek We went from that to this?

&

Love

Lost I didn’t think about the pain, Of love if I lost Assuming it could be forever But now we don’t talk And you don’t call Our hearts so far apart I’ve loved And I’ve lost

He Makes He makes me happy Although I am sad Although I weep with pain God makes my heart to be glad

He Placed He placed His hand in my heart And by faith I walk The knowledge I seek In this poetry I speak And like Adam and Eve This passion is steep These cries are deep In love I leap With words I breathe Bare naked in my truth God placed His peace in me

I Shall I shall not be moved I am moving in this world But I shall not be moved

Many

Many have claimed to be religious Yet have not entrusted in any form of good or God Many have claimed to bring peace Yet haven’t shared peace nor love

Love Is Love is truth not Brutal But honest

Devastation It broke me But it didn’t break me

Good morning, Good night Good morning to the things we don’t know Good night to the things we didn’t know

Pleas In time They say With time They say As time They scream Like wine They plea With eyes They see Like lies They agree In time It shall be What shall be

When

When I want to marvel on the wonder of God I ponder on the idea that He created words allowing me to express myself In poetry and for this I am thankful

Don't Gamble

Don’t gamble with grace of God Don’t gamble with the Power of God Don’t gamble with the love of God Don’t gamble with the trust of God Don’t gamble with God Don’t gamble with the time of God Don’t gamble with your relationship with God Don’t gamble In life we mustn’t gamble

My

My actions are not always beneficial But my intentions are always pure and good

Sweet

The sweetest thing I’ve ever known Is loving you without remorse

Ripped

The flower once bloomed With colors but now It’s shriveled and dead Like a rose aged with existence Ripped of its beauty The flower once bloomed

Frivolous

My mind desires to touch you with my Thoughts My lips yearn to kiss you with my Love My heart breaks with sorrow My tears hurt for tomorrow Frivolous my desire to want you Frivolous my need to have you

To the

Heavens To the heavens I cry To the heavens I plea To the Heavens I weep Of this grief To the Heavens I cry For relief To the Heavens I scream Can you hear me? Do you believe me? Would you receive me? To the Heavens I cry To the Heavens I plea

A

New Song Today I woke up With a new song in my heart It was so fresh and new Today I woke up with a new song In my heart And it moved my soul

It's Probable

Don’t you remember The things we did Don’t you remember the Love we made Don’t you remember The peace we created Between our hearts Don’t you remember The passion we Shared Don’t you remember Loving me

Finished This book is finished For him For Her Forever Love God is love

Can I

Sing

Can I sing to you The lyrics of my poetry With the wind of my dreams Soothe the dying soul In stanzas of hope and believe Can I sing My words And allow this music to feed your soul Revitalizing organs in the mind That has grown cold With adage of old Can I sing The terror of night Of never becoming who I can be in this world Of make and deceive Can I fight thoughts of unconsciousness With defeat Can I sing this poesy To set my spirit free Of wars unseen Can I sing Till I get my wings Because I need to remain in this peace Of eyes Can I sing? Tears of poetry Till I fall asleep Because I am not afraid to know That greater is He that is within me than He that Is in this world Can I sing Depth because This song is deep

ISBN 978-1-105-76060-0

9 781105

760600

90000

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