Party Nails

Artwork by Hanna Dunakin

Sex-posi nails brought to you by queer femme

These nails are just as fun as they sound. A fire set and great sex, I don’t think that’s too much to ask for? When going to my nail tech I want a four-inch stiletto set with bright colors and added jewels. I want everyone in the back of the club to see them, but in bed, I do have some plans for these hands.

Party nails is not a universal term for my goto acrylics. Like much of the queer knowledge I’ve learned over the years, I heard about party nails from my partner who heard it from a friend of a friend of a friend. It’s a term from my queer circle that has continuously defined the tools we need in life. I wasn’t ready to let go of my long acrylic sets and they helped me realize that I didn’t have to with party nails.

Party nails, from my queer family to yours, is an acrylic set that leaves two to three fingers without extensions on them, generally the index and middle finger. I’ve also heard it called afemmicure or lesbian nails, but honestly, those are ugly—so party nails it is.

When looking back on the history of acrylics, Black and BIPOC femmes paved the way. Then queer BIPOC people who wanted the aesthetics of an acrylic set but safety when it comes to penetrative sex that utilizes hands perfected the art with party nails.

When asked about her party nails, nail tech Alyssa Blake Nader, who goes by @ daddydoesnails on Instagram, says, “she’s outhere trying to function,” while laughing. “It’s just more visible and fun to have long nails or do different looks.”

Visibility is a huge factor in the appeal ofparty nails. Every baby queer hears the list of ways to “clock a lesbian,” either from programs like The L-word, a popular television series from the early 2000’s about lesbian life in LosAngeles, or from their queer circles. “Look out for short hair, baggy shirts, mid-length jean shorts,” I was told, these were all things I expected, “and short nails,” the only criteria I couldn’t live with. This is where party nails step in, while I might have long nails, the two fingers left without extensions (which I generally highlight even more with added jewels or designs) sends a clear message to anyone inquiring about my queerness that their assumptions were correct.

As I have had time in the queer community to unpack this ‘criteria’ of being a queer femme, I realized it was kind of bullshit. This list serves as another constraint on expression that limits queer people in their ability to just be themselves. Why would the community impose these standards? While there is a desire to want to be seen as a part of the community just by presentation, no list could ever encompass every identity and presentation across the queer spectrum, no matter how long. Sometimes I just want long nails and 5-inch heels, what can I say, I’m still very much my gay ass self. It also needs to be acknowledged that there is an immense privilege in wanting to be visibly queer, and many people may not feel safe to do so. The experiences of these queer people become erased within these archaic presentation restraints.

Yet party nails seem to go beyond just another indicator of visible queerness. It feels like I cheated the system a little. Most people who spot the short nails just figure I broke them and probably won’t think twice about it. So other queer femmes give me that look of recognition, but beyond that, I usually don’t need to explain their purpose to other curious people—which is no one else’s business but mine, anyway.

Nader also talks about how the set is customizable to your needs. You can do two fingers on one hand without the extensions, two fingers on both hands, or two fingers and a thumb—party nails are whatever you need them to be. You also don’t have to worry about opening up soda cans, added Nader.

But sometimes I just want a full set...and I deserve it.

While party nails are my go-to, many queer couples rock full sets and have perfectly safe sex. If you are careful and communicative with your partner there should be no problem using long nails. There are also many other precautions you can take to make sure everything is sanitary and fun for everyone. This can include thoroughly washing your hands prior to sex (which I feel like I shouldn’t have to say, but I will) and being gentle with internal stimulation.

I spoke to my partner, Nikita Richardson, who mentioned to me that many couples utilize finger covers that are made of body-safe silicone, which may look a little weird at first, but they are extremely effective in making pointed or long nails dull and soft for some safe full set sex! But be sure it is body-safe silicone, Richardson emphasized.

Lastly, use toys! If you have your nails done, technology has given us the beautiful gift of dildos, vibrators, butt plugs, wands—the list could go on. There is no right or wrong way to have sex and penetration doesn’t always need to be involved. In the spirit of party nails, you have every right to customize your sex experience to fit your needs and desires the best.

Party nails doesn’t have to be an exclusively queer trend and quite frankly it really shouldn’t be. Both straight and queer people, regardless of presentation and orientation, can integrate finger play into their sex routines. Queer people may have started the trend but, as usual, everyone can take a page out of our book to expand the scope of their sex life. You don’t have to sacrifice your set just to try something new, make your nails work for you!

These nails aren’t even necessarily a sexrelated trend. Nader spoke about how one of her clients is a musician and prefers to have one hand short and one long or another client that types a lot for their job and likes certain nails shorter to make typing less strenuous. This even extends into accessibility for people who may have different needs related to access and motion.

Party nails are a bit deep honestly, but also, they are one big, fat, choose-your-ownadventure type of party. So have fun with them.