08742 Living-August 2018

August 2018

Bay Head

Point Pleasant

Point Pleasant Beach

Inside this Issue...

PG

Mending Our Roots

Back to Earth

Healing Powers of the Sea

Book Report

“The Fault in Our Stars”

by John Green

The Power of Positive Thinking Negative Forecasting ...and much more!

This Foundation was established to provide drug and behavioral health curriculum and education to local schools for the prevention of addiction.

Nicholas was a graduate of Point Pleasant Borough High School who passed away in November 2016 from a heroin overdose. His family is hopeful that this foundation will help bring awareness of this epidemic in New Jersey, especially Ocean County.

Donations to the Nicholas Hudanish Foundation can be mailed to: 703 Hommann Ave., Perth Amboy, NJ 08861

Come Out and Show Your Support!

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Hope Sheds Light Walk, Seaside Heights Boardwalk Saturday, September 8th Festival of the Sea, Point Beach Saturday, September 15th 2nd Annual Rock for Awareness Festival September 29, 2018 • 12-6pm Community Park, Point Pleasant Boro

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The Power of Positive Thinking Negative Forecasting

by Allison Feehan, N.D., D.Psc, CRMT

Is your glass half empty? You’re about to have your last negative thought as I help you shut-down negative bias, where we think more about what goes wrong than what can go right. It is so engrained in us to have negative self-talk. Looped narratives replay in our minds like a broken record player that we just can’t seem to escape from. Sometimes we wish we could just escape our own minds, press pause or stop. This conflict is produced inside of us. You take a bad moment and draw a huge sweeping conclusion from it.

Mental time travel can take you on quite a ride! If your sure things just won’t go well and you start calculating that all the odds are against you, you need to ground yourself. Press your toes into the floor to bring your awareness to your body and not your mind. You can also try walking heavier, heel-toe to feel more grounded and releasing expectations.

When we recognize moments like these it is important not to beat yourself up about but rather channel your true self, reconnect to your vision, and remember that you need to reject the negativity.

You may think your responsible for all the negativity around you.

This overgeneralizing and personalizing needs to be banished for good. Distract yourself. If you are doing something routine, change it up. Turn off auto pilot and give that activity your full attention it demands. At times when you personalize too much that everything is your fault respond to yourself with a mantra that, “This is just negative thinking.”

Emotional reasoning is fusing together feelings and reality. You tend to think how you feel is how things are. When you feel guilty you think you must be guilty of something. When you feel lonely, you think no one loves you or cares about you. This false sense of reasoning can drag down your mood and keep you there. Emotions are meant to pass through us and not set-up camp. We are meant to feel various emotions throughout the day so sitting in a negative vibration of emotions for too long can be detrimental to your health. Being conscious of these negative emotions can help you to bring your awareness to identifying this as a temporary state. I am lonely is a temporary state of being. You can banish this for good by beginning a daily meditation practice with a mantra of “I am”. If your mind is still looping in those negative emotions and distracting your sleep pattern, try a Yoga Nidra practice. This can help de-magnify the negative and help you to not fixate on the downside.

Yoga Nidra cane bring you into a deep relaxing state.

The anticipation of disaster is your brain in a dress rehearsal for tragedy. Expecting everything that you plan for to go wrong is a daily dose for constant negativity.

Remind yourself that this negativity is just your brain trying to keep you safe by preparing you for the potential problem ahead. Anticipated situations like this can create anxiety and sometimes even depression. Talking to a friend or family member may not always help in situations of exaggerated negativity making us feel as if we have nowhere to turn. What does help is turning inward and working on yourself from the inside out. Find gratitude in the uneasy situation and say to yourself, “Thank you brain for trying to protect me but I can take it from here. I can handle this.” Remind yourself that you have no control over certain situations or people and that there is no sense in worrying over something you cannot control. Whatever happens, you can go forth feeling determined to “fix” or “clean-up” the situation rather than feel defeated. This too shall pass just like every “tragic” situation before this one.

Allison Feehan N.D., D.Psc, CRMT Owner of Integrative Healing and Wellness 732.202.6797 523 Main Avenue Bay Head, NJ

It can take a process of elimination to see what works best for us. One tool that might work for your friend may not be effective on you. Self-care isn’t always easy and listening to what is best for your mind, body, and spirit is most important. Force yourself to list three good things about yourself daily. Make a list of all that you are grateful for every day. Understand that you can’t always expect a certain outcome but you can expect to change the way you feel about that outcome.

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The Book Report “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green A book review by Brian Favretto

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (The Gospel of John 1:1). In a moment of desperation, sixteen year old Hazel Grace Lancaster wished she could return to the moment before Creation, and “live in that vacuous uncreated space alone with the Word.” Hazel Grace was living with thyroid cancer, and at times she suffered through such painful moments that it even hurt too much to cry. In a story so emotional and tangible, John Green sets out to prove that every life is worth living, as “The Fault in Our Stars” leads us on a journey of teen romance, strength, grace and heartache.

Hazel Grace was diagnosed with stage four thyroid cancer at age thirteen, and after a brush with death, an experimental breakthrough treatment has put her cancer into remission. After three years of coping with this disease, Hazel has learned the side effects of dying; she is alive, but not really living. She is depressed and reclusive, afraid to begin a life that she won’t be able to finish. Her parents encourage her to socialize, but she is afraid to make friends knowing she would hurt even more people when she dies. She feels like a ticking time bomb waiting to devastate and destroy her parents. She is living like she is already dead.

One night at a cancer support group, she meets Augustus Waters and instantly feels a spark. He is handsome and witty and begins to flirt with Hazel. In that instant, she feels a hope that she hasn’t felt in years. The hope that she can think of something other than cancer. The hope that a teen crush may turn into a relationship. Though hesitant about causing more pain, Hazel challenges Augustus by asking him to read her favorite novel, a story about a girl much like herself, who shares her battle with cancer as well as her dismal outlook on life. Augustus likes the book as much as she does, and is just as intrigued by the ending. The story has no conclusion, it just stops mid-sentence. In the past, Hazel has written the author, Peter Van Houten, begging for an explanation, or an idea of what happens to the characters, but has never received a response. Augustus tries his luck and is greeted with a response and an invitation to meet

with the author in Amsterdam. Their crush having blossomed into a romance, Augustus surprises Hazel with the trip of a lifetime. With the assistance of a foundation committed to granting wishes for the terminally ill, they will be traveling to Amsterdam to meet Van Houten and discuss the ending of “An Imperial Affliction”.

Once in Amsterdam, the pair is met with disappointment. Van Houten reveals himself to be an impetuous and hostile alcoholic. This meeting was setup by his assistant without his knowledge or approval, and turns into a rant of alcohol-induced insults and disparaging remarks. Angry and upset, Augustus confides in Hazel by telling her that his cancer is back full blast, yet they find a way to make the best of what remains of their trip. Once stateside, Augustus begins intense chemotherapy treatments, and Hazel, seemingly always the supported, now becomes the supporter. Green has turned the tables, and treats us to an emotional rollercoaster of love, mercy and even anger.

“The Fault in Our Stars” is filled with cancer and death, but it isn’t a book about cancer and dying. It is a book about life, and the people and things that make every life worth living. It is a book about how the fault is not in our stars at all, rather that our outlook on those stars determines our joy. Either we let our circumstances control our outlook, or we control our outlook based on those circumstances. Hazel let cancer control her outlook on life. Augustus let his life control his outlook on cancer.

If you’re interested in a book that highlights the good in people during difficult situations, and demonstrates the amazing strength that follows utter weakness, then give “The Fault in Our Stars” by John Green a chance. You will be saddened, but also encouraged, and you will consider that what we externalize comes from within; even in Peter Van Houten’s case. You can pick up your copy of “The Fault in Our Stars” at any of our local libraries.

“The Fault in Our Stars”, Penguin Books, 2012.

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Rover Rescue Separation Anxiety

by Lauren Kehoe

We have probably all heard of separation anxiety. It is often found in children who develop a great amount of anxiety when separated from parents. Separation anxiety is also an issue among some adults and our canine companions. This condition is more common in dogs than we might think. Luckily, there are ways to work on anxiety issues and create a happier, more peaceful place for our furry friends.

Separation anxiety can stem from past experiences, genetics, or environmental factors. Some signs include destructive behavior, excess barking, accidents inside, pacing, or salivating.

It can be wise to rule out any medical issues first, or behavioral destruction from high energy, under-exercised dogs or puppies.

Setting up a camera can give a clear picture of what a dog is actually doing when its owners leave the house. We can also pretend to leave, hide somewhere they can see their dog but the dog cannot see them, and take notes on behavior.

There are different levels of separation anxiety, which can be assessed more strategically with a way to see a dog when left alone.

For milder separation anxiety, all that may be necessary is positive associations upon leaving. Depending on a dog’s energy level and personal motivation, leaving a dog with high value items can look different.

Giving a dog a favorite toy, bone, a food-puzzle with its meal, or a frozen kong stuffed with peanut butter or kibble are all options. This gives a dog something positive to engage in that it only receives when its owner leaves.

Over time, the dog will begin to look forward to its special treat like it does when its best friend returns.

stimulated to even realize they were given a special object. Anxiety can begin as soon as one puts on shoes or a coat, grabs a bag, keys, or other things part of pre-departure rituals. We can begin by Lauren Kehoe starting to desensitize to these things is an avid animal lover without ever planning to leave the house. and dog owner.

Pick up keys, toss a treat, go sit down on couch, repeating for ten repetitions.

This can be applied to any departure cues, keeping in mind that some may be more distressful to a dog than others. If a dog isn’t super food motivated, treats can be substituted with toys, pets, or whatever they enjoy.

Once a dog becomes more calm and comfortable around these cues, you can practice with short departures. It is important not to allow a dog to become too stressed and over threshold, so depending on the dog, this could begin with stepping outside for 1-2 seconds then returning. This will most likely involve a great deal of patience, and if doing these short breaks multiple times, be sure your dog is settled and calm before leaving again.

The goal is to not allow a dog to experience more negative associations and anxiety throughout the process.

There are options such as dog walkers and sitters, dog daycares, family help, or bringing a dog to work. Adequate exercise and mental stimulation always is useful, or in more severe cases supplements and medication. If you feel you are getting too frustrated or stuck, try taking a step back and consulting a trainer or vet for some outside perspective. Separation anxiety is a real issue, but there are also real solutions.

If a dog has severe separation anxiety, these tools probably will not. The dog may be too anxious and over

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Parental Guidance Mending Our Roots

By Maureen Whelan

It turns out there is no lifeguard at the “gene pool”. But what if you could go back in time and change your past. If your child inherited, Gran’s worrying habits, Granpa’s short temper, or Aunt Meg’s extreme silliness in times of stress, then at least knowing your past may help you.

Behavioral epigenetics is a fairly new field that has recently proven the past experiences of our ancestors can alter our genetic makeup on a molecular level.** This discovery indicates we are more likely to mimic the behaviors of our parents as the DNA is handed down by both the father and the mother. So, Freud lovers, you can no longer blame bad mothering for all your faults. As with most things, there are both positive and negative outcomes to this. If your ancestors were exposed to the stressors of famine and poverty, but responded to these stressors by rationing and becoming more resourceful, then you may have an explanation for habits such as future planning, creativity and calm in the face of a storm. However, if your ancestors responded to these same circumstances with anxiety, bitterness or food insecurity, chances are your responses to similar triggers will be negative as well, even if the trigger is a brief hunger pang between meals. By understanding the experiences of our ancestors, we can gain information about our own behavior. If we wish to change what we pass along to our children, we need to change how we behave in response to our environment. Thus, Nurture molds Nature.

This research also indicated that environmental factors such as chemical exposure will also alter our DNA. The chemical bisphenol A, commonly called BPA was used in many plastics until public outcry several years ago.

When animals were exposed to this chemical, they not only demonstrated increased anxiety, problems with learning, memory, and socialization, but their offspring did too.

Specifically, the mothers exposed to this decreased the social contact with their offspring, which in turn Worry imprinted higher levels of stress responses on their own DNA.

Calm So what does all this highly scientific yet somewhat difficult to understand research mean to us? Most importantly, we, as parents, need to clean up our act. If we want to ensure the best possible outcomes for our children and even our grandchildren, we need to take care of ourselves, and Bitter the earlier we realize this the better. Nearly every aspect of our environment will Anger alter the genetic material we pass along.

So we need to eat right, as both the nutrients and habits are likely to show up in the future. Take care of our physical environment, it’s the tub your body bathes in. Eliminate potential toxins and exposure to Nurture chemicals, preservatives, drugs, and alcohol.

Nurture emotional health by managing and reducing stress. Stress responses and chemicals are one of the most critical factors that impact our DNA, and the wellbeing of our future generations. Most of all, engage in healthy behaviors, as these behavioral responses will also be handed down. Right now we may be a lowly branch on the family tree, but one day we may be the trunk that supports many. Nourish the healthy and prune what is not.

We can’t any longer have the conventional understanding of genetics, which everybody peddles, because it is increasingly obvious that epigenetics, actually things which influence the genome’s function, are much more important than we realised — Robert Winston

Stress

Joy

Insecure

Creative

Anxiety Happy

Planner Resourceful

Maureen Whelan is a pediatric Occupational Therapist and mother of 4.

** “Behavioral Epigenetics: How Nurture Shapes Nature” Oxford Journals (Bioscience, Vol. 61, issue 8) and Behavioral Epigenetics (abstract), US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health, (Sept. 2013)

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Not A Music Review, A Music Event Gov’t Mule and Avett Brothers PNC Bank Arts Center, Holmdel, NJ July 13, 2018

by Steve DeJacimo

So, I admit it. I went to this show, last minute, not knowing what exactly I was getting myself into. One thing I knew for sure…I was going to be getting some Warren Haynes (lead singer and guitar player for Gov’t Mule) front and center. Warren has also played guitar for, and with, some of the biggest rock acts on the planet. Bands like, David Allen Coe, The Allman Brothers, Dave Matthews Band and Phil Lesh and Friends. I am a sucker for his Gibson gold top, hollow body guitar. He delivers the soulful goods on that guitar and many others….every time.

all smiles! Great energy, great vocals, great lyrics. Hailing from Concord, North Carolina, brothers Seth and Scott Avett were letting it loose on stage and seemed to be enjoying every minute of it. That is the idea? Right? I think so. Too many musicians take themselves too seriously, these guys don’t, and it showed.

They were going to have some fun….and you were come along for the ride.

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Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the Forum, ahhh PNC Bank Arts Center, we’ll get to that later.

Next up, the rock-n-roll shaman, Warren Haynes and his band, Gov’t. Mule. That night, unbeknownst to me, Gov’t Mule was playing ALL Pink Floyd songs. Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” to be exact. This would be coined, “Dark Side of the Mule”. Pretty crafty. Seems cool. But, understand, I don’t

The Avett Brothers were onstage when I arrived, doing their best at fusing rock, bluegrass, folk and rap, if you can imagine that mashup…but, killing it at the same time. I loved it. I was

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Gov’t Mule

Avett Brothers

know this yet. So, I am expecting some classic Gov’t Mule tunes like, “Banks of the Deep End” and “Soulshine.”

don’t let music be one of them. Look, you can just show up, like I did, not really delving in too deep with the past shows, heck, not even knowing what the theme was at all, and still have fun!! I usually know what is coming up next. But, that’s my job.

After hundreds of concerts over the years, it comes naturally to hear a part of a riff and know what song is next. Let the next song be a surprise…. it’s better that way. Keep rockin’.

After a few songs, well, Pink Floyd songs, I realized there was a theme here, but technically, I still didn’t know exactly what was going on. Look, I am a fan of Warren, so I stuck it out. If you have ever listened to Dark Side of the Moon, the entire album, fan or not, we all know it gets a little slow going. Trance-like.

Some tracks could be played while you get a massage at your local spa. Slow stuff. Not sure if I would have gone knowingly… but, then “Money” came on, and we’re rockin’ again.

Thanks for that.

That’s the beauty of live music. You never really know what is on the set list. Sure, we concert-goers have become set list scoundrels. I’m guilty. We all seem to want to know about things before they happen. To me, what’s the fun in that?

Some much of our lives are planned and highly predictable,

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Healthy Morsels, II Eating Healthy for the Mind and Body

by Lynn O’Hara

found to reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression more effectively than any medication yet it’s rarely prescribed by physicians to help people manage these conditions. There is much research out there and ongoing that looks at specific nutrients for specific conditions and that information is also outside the scope of this article. Please know, though, that it is out there.

When you think of mental health and overall well-being do you think of nutrition as being important? Do you believe your lifestyle choices have an impact on how you feel emotionally? If you said yes you are correct! It may seem obvious to some that this is the truth but there are many people out there who may not know this and it’s through no fault of their own.

We live in a society that has gotten away from the basics when it comes to nutrition. There are many reasons for this phenomenon including the abundance of processed foods available, politics, traditional western views of medicine, the desire for instant gratification and many others. All of these things have gotten us away from recognizing the truth that what we put in our mouths matters more than just how it affects our weight. What we eat impacts our health on so many levels it is impossible to cover even a tenth of them in this article. I have witnessed a disregard for the importance of nutrition in all aspects of our population from doctors and the government to people suffering from nutrition related issues themselves. Some of the more obvious examples of this phenomenon can be seen in people who have nutrition related health concerns such as type II diabetes or cardiac concerns. Eating more healthfully can help people with these types of diagnoses improve their health significantly yet there are those who simply do not make the changes needed for better health. What prevents them from changing how they eat to improve their health? It’s a curious thing and I deal with it all the time with my clients. Lesser known conditions that benefit from good nutrition include many mental health issues. Let’s look at anxiety, for example. Did you know that low glucose levels can cause anxiety? Many people who are on very restrictive diets suffer from anxiety including those with eating disorders.

Eating regularly every 3 to 4 hours significantly reduces anxiety.

Healthy eating and regular exercise has been

August 2018

Lynn O’Hara, MS, RD, LPC Licensed Psychotherapist Registered Dietitian (732) 899-9312 www.lynnoharalpc.com

If we back this concept up to a place of overall health and wellbeing, eating healthy and exercising regularly is one of the best things people can do for themselves. Stress, anxiety, depression and many other health concerns diminish when a person eats well.

The Catch-22 here is that if a person isn’t feeling well, one of the last things they feel like doing is preparing and eating healthy foods.

Eating well is not just physically healthy but emotionally and spiritually as well. There is something very satisfying about preparing good nutritious foods to eat and sitting down to eat them.

So before you decide to disregard food as important to your health consider how often you eat and how you feel right after you eat.

If you feel satisfied and physically well you are on the right track.

If you feel lousy after you eat whether from the type or amount of food you took in consider that this way of eating may be having a more substantial impact on your health and well-being. It may be time for a change! Until next time, eat healthy, be happy.

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Back to Earth Healing Powers of the Sea

by Natalie Berko

Seawater has a multitude of benefits, it is used in modern medicine on a large scale. A French doctor in 1897 Rene’ Quinton discovered that seawater and our blood plasma are 98% identical.

Human blood has an extra molecule of iron, seawater has an extra molecule of Natalie Berko magnesium, and apart from this all the Certified molecules are identical. When swimming Crystal Healer in the sea the body absorbs the minerals it needs through the pores in our skin.

Iodine is one of many minerals found in the sea that helps the body ward off infection while boosting thyroid function. Seawater increases elasticity of skin and improves circulation, aiding the body to carry blood to all the vital organs. Plato said “The Sea cures all the ailments of man.”

In ancient times, many believed in the magic of the sea, Thalassotherapy was an effective way to treat many ailments.

Thalassotherapy us a therapeutic use of seawater, its climate, and components such as algae, seaweed, and alluvial mud. Modern therapists around the world encourage using seawater as an alternative to pharmaceuticals to treat psoriasis, joint problems, eczema, arthritis, poor circulation, immobility and even some post-operative conditions.

A visit to the shore always leaves you feeling full of life and cleansed spiritually, physically, and emotionally. There is something magical about the combination of sun, sea and sand. A trip to the beach is one of the most natural and easily accessible forms of therapy available. About 70% of the Earth’s surface is covered with water of which 96% is stored in the oceans. For centuries we looked to the sand and surf as a fully stocked pharmacy. There are several researches that have proven in fact that the sea helps us restore our mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. Seawater assists in strengthening the cellular immunity, fortifying the body against viruses, bacteria, and pathogens. Further research says even the sound of the crashing sea waves has a healing effect on the mind and body inducing deep states of relaxation.

Sea air is naturally charged with healthy negative ions that help build our body’s capacity to absorb more oxygen. This is important because with the use of modern technology in our daily lives such as cellphones, microwaves, and laptops we are exposed to unhealthy free radicals which erode our body’s natural energy. This is one of the reasons we feel so energized yet relaxed when we are by the sea. A simple walk barefoot on the sand neutralized the impact of free radicals in our body. The sand by the sea contains minerals required by humans that our body craves and absorb quiet quickly. Walking on the beach induces favorable physiological changes that promote good health, boost our immune system, enhances circulation and even reduces inflammation.

August 2018

A swim in the sea also impacts your muscles and nervous system increasing blood circulation and is a wonderful boost to your emotional health. Recent research states that living near the sea or taking frequent trips can even add years to your life. Oceans can bring a mental shift in our self-perception, teaching us calmness, depth, harmony and acceptance of waves of change.

Pack your beach blanket and never miss an opportunity to visit the shore, we all need more sand between our toes!

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August 2018

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