08742 Living March 2018

March 2018

Bay Head

Point Pleasant

Point Pleasant Beach

Inside this Issue...

PG

Growing Minds

Back to Earth

The Magic of Mantra

Book Report “Divergent”

OPA is Back!

May 17-20 - See pg. 2 for details.

Engaged?

Take a tour of the newly renovated Mill Lakeside Manor ...and much more!

Offshore Powerboat Association 2017 Racing Awards Martell’s Lobster House hosted the Offshore Powerboat Association, or, OPA Racing Awards Dinner for the 2017 race season on Saturday, February 10th. OPA Racing is the sanctioning group that will bring the race teams to Point Pleasant Beach this Summer, May 17th-20th, 2018. New Jersey Offshore Powerboat Racing Association, or NJOPRA is the club which promotes and produces the Point Pleasant Offshore Grand Prix each year.

The dinner gets everyone thinking of Summer and the return of the race.

New Jersey Offshore Powerboat Racing Association (NJOPRA) is an all volunteer not for profit group whose mission is to bring offshore powerboat racing to the Jersey Shore. Racing started in Point Pleasant Beach around 1969 with the Hennesey Offshore Grand Prix. Perhaps the most memorable races were the Benihana Races of the late 1970’s and early 80’s.

The races moved briefly to Atlantic City, but Mayor Reid wanted to bring the races back to the “Beach”. The inaugural Point Pleasant Beach Offshore Grand Prix was the weekend prior to Memorial Day 2016.

This year’s event will kick off with a Charity Event, Thursday May17th.

Race boats will arrive Friday May 18th and will be on display downtown on Arnold Avenue. Saturday will be the Point Pleasant Beach Rotary Festival with the race boats at the Arnold Avenue parking lot and a parade of boats at the East end of town. Race Day is Sunday May 20, 2018.

For more information go to njoffshore.org.

Mayor Stephen Reid is welcoming the winning teams back to Point Pleasant Beach. Standing behind the Mayor is Ed Smith, President of OPA Racing.

OPA Racing is the sanctioning group to which the racers belong, NJOPRA is the local club that produces the race.

Mayor Stephen Reid, with Angelo Juliano, treasurer of NJOPRA (New Jersey Offshore Powerboat Racing Association) and Toni Potthoff president. At the OPA Awrads dinner Saturday February 10, 2018 at Martell’s Lobster House.

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Around Town Fish’n for the Cause

by Elizabeth Black

One of the greatest perks of living by the ocean is all of the amazing activities and hobbies that are available. There’s something for everybody: boating, swimming, surfing, sunbathing, bodyboarding, and more. One popular activity for numerous members of this community is fishing. Whether you’re a novice or a professional, fishing is rewarding in many ways.

Laura Wallenstein of St. Jude’s fundraising and awareness group ALSAC stated, “We greatly appreciate the commitment Clarks Landing has made to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, which is dedicated to finding cures for childhood cancer and other life-threatening diseases.

Because of their fighting spirits and generosity, the advances made at St. Jude are helping to save children

For some local fishing enthusiasts, the interest was recently rewarding in a wonderful yet unusual way. From May to November 2017, Point Pleasant’s Clarks Landing Yacht Club presented the “Fish’n for the Cause” fishing tournament to benefit St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital and Lunch Break Soup Kitchen. The tournament raised over $9,000 and Clarks Landing’s Wedding Banquet Hall made an additional donation of $6,000, making a grand total of $15,000 for 2017. This past year was the sixth annual tournament and Clarks Landing has raised over $75,000 since the tradition began in 2012.

In addition, Clarks Landing donated foodstuff to Lunch Break Soup Kitchen. The soup kitchen is located in Red Bank.

Elizabeth Black

Point Pleasant Boro High School.

On top of that, Clarks Landing announced that it will be hosting the 2018 Jersey Shore St. Jude Walk/Run to End Childhood Cancer. The event is set to take place on Saturday, September twenty-second on the Seaside Heights Boardwalk.

St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital was founded by a man named Danny Thomas. Thomas prayed to St. Jude Thaddeus, the patron saint of hopeless causes when he and his family fell on hard times.

Danny Thomas’ luck turned and the struggling actor became successful. He used his fame to fund the shrine he promised the patron saint in return for his help. The hospital officially opened its doors in 1962, established on the idea of “no child should die in the dawn of life”. St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital believes that the only task a family should have is helping their child live and for this reason families are never billed for treatment, housing, food, or travel. St. Jude is the sole National Cancer Institute recognized Comprehensive Cancer Center specifically for children. Over five decades, the hospital has increased the childhood cancer survival rate to 80%- much higher than the 20% survival rate when the hospital first opened.

everywhere.” Gratitude and recognition are given to R. Kremer and Son Marine Contractors, Salty Dog, The Fisherman, Boatshopper.com, Nottingham Insurance, Sysco, Ahern Printing and Graphics, R. Popovitch Builders, Travelers Commercial Ocean Marine Insurance, and Ocean First Bank for sponsoring the 2017 tournament. For more information, visit stjude.org, like St. Jude on Facebook (facebook.com/stjude), follow St. Jude on Twitter (@stjude), or visit clarkslanding.com.

St. Jude’s ultimate goal is to work until no child dies from cancer.

About 75% of financial support needed for St. Jude to run is received from benevolent donors. St. Jude is dedicated to getting children and their families the help they deserve regardless of background or financial situation.

Lisa L. Colonno, Assistant Vice President, Branch Manager 2307 Lakewood Road, Point Pleasant, NJ 08742 732.295.0004 • lcolonno@manasquanbank.com www.manasquanbank.com March 2018

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The Book Report “Divergent” by Veronica Roth A book review by Brian Favretto

A dystopian society is most easily defined as an undesirable place to live. It may be a fledgling government that emerged after an environmental disaster, or a dehumanizing totalitarian government. Perhaps it can even be an existing society that is rapidly disintegrating. In the world of fiction, this isn’t a new genre. Think of George Orwell’s “1984” and Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”. Meant to draw attention to real-world issues, these novels amplify present day society’s worst attributes and project the possibilities of what our world will look like if these trends continue.

get her killed, so she is forced to subdue her thoughts in order to survive.

As initiation progresses, she begins to realize that the Dauntless, and maybe all the factions, have swayed from some of their core values. Tris worries that she has made the wrong decision. Too late to turn back, it becomes a game of conquer or be conquered, control or be controlled. Along the way, she makes friends and enemies, she is victorious and suffers defeat.

She comes to realize that the Dauntless leaders have made some alarming decisions, and she hopes to survive not just initiation, but each day that the sun rises.

The first in a series, Veronica Roth has created an exciting page-turner with her first novel, “Divergent”.

If the reader dares to look beyond the storyline, we see real dangers coming to life as a result of the way we live our lives in today’s world.

Don’t we segregate ourselves into groups of like-minded people, dismissing the ideas that differ from our own? Don’t we separate ourselves from outsiders and immigrants who may not think or act or believe as we do? Don’t we feel a lower sense of self-worth if we don’t belong to a particular group? And sadly, don’t we put down the feelings and virtues of others in order to bolster our own?

“Divergent” by Veronica Roth is a dystopian novel set in future Chicago, after the country has decided to hit the restart button in regards to societal norms. This society is formed by five distinct “factions”. Each faction is characterized by its own set of morals and values, based on their beliefs as to which evil caused the downfall of our current society.

The Abnegation faction blames selfishness as the root of all evil, so they value selflessness, protecting themselves from vanity, greed and envy. The Candor faction blames duplicity for human evil, and as such, they value honesty and see the truth as black and white. The Dauntless faction values courage, seeing cowardice to blame for evil.

Amity blames aggression for evil, so they value peacefulness. Lastly, those in the Erudite faction are in constant pursuit of knowledge and blame evil on ignorance.

As we begin this novel, Beatrice Prior is a 16 year old girl approaching “Choosing Day”, the occasion on which all 16 year olds must choose what faction he or she will belong to for the rest of his or her life. Raised in Abnegation, Beatrice has her doubts about her selflessness, so she struggles with her decision. She decides to leave her family and join the Dauntless faction.

She quickly learns that only ten spots are available for Dauntless initiation, and with twenty candidates competing, she could very well be left out of a faction altogether. “Without a faction” she says, “we have no purpose and no reason to live”. The unofficial sixth faction, the “factionless”, live without help from anyone, and struggle to survive in a fashion similar to our modern-day homeless.

Dauntless initiation resembles boot camp mixed with futuristic technology, trying to force courage and bravery (more like stupidity) into the human brain. Beatrice (who renames herself Tris) has many struggles during initiation, as most recruits do, but unlike any of the others, she has a dangerous secret. She possesses qualities that can

March 2018

As humans, we can excuse almost any evil, regardless of the reason that caused it. As good as this book is, I’m looking forward to see how Roth continues the series.

I’m hopeful that she will demonstrate that the best virtues to possess will have to come from a little bit of each faction. If we could be brave, selfless, smart, kind, honest and loving- we would live in a utopian society. We can save that fiction for another day, or have the faith to live in it when we meet out Creator. In the meantime, we’ll have to cope with our own dystopia.

Fast on the heels of Suzanne Collins’ “The Hunger Games”, “Divergent” will not disappoint. Thank you to my sister and daughter for landing this book on my lap. If you care to see if you can relate to Tris and her mentor Tobias, give Veronica Roth the chance to impress you as well, and pick up your copy of “Divergent” at any of our local libraries.

“Divergent”, 2011, Katherine Tegen Books.

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Students of 08742 Point Pleasant High School Increases College Credit Earning Opportunities

by Jacquelyn Goss

As the costs of higher education continue to escalate, ambitious high school students are compelled to seek ways to lessen the financial burden by participating in college credit earning opportunities while attending high school. From dual enrollment programs, which allow high school students to supplement their high school course schedule with complementary college courses, to independent study, educational co-ops and vocational programs, today’s students have unprecedented access to opportunities that give them a head start on higher education.

An agreement in place with Monmouth University allows district students to participate in a Computer Science cooperative with the school. The program combines classroom-based learning with practical experience, providing a pathway to acceptance at Monmouth as well as specific scholarship-earning opportunities.

Another new program that is currently in the final stages of development is the College Academy, an early college graduation program administered by Ocean County College. The program allows district high school students to complete and earn their Associate’s Degree prior to earning their high school diploma. Courses will be embedded in the regular school day and taught by high school teachers. Participating students will receive a break in OCC tuition costs.

At Point Pleasant Borough High School, the 2017-18 school year has brought increased college credit-earning opportunities for students thanks to the addition of Advanced Placement Human Geography – bringing the total number of AP courses offered at the high school to 18 - and new dual enrollment programs Syracuse University Project Advance and Tomorrow’s Teachers.

“Concurrent enrollment programs, educational partnerships and other specialized learning opportunities allow our students to get a head start on college while helping better prepare them for the rigors of college life,” said Director of Curriculum & Instruction Susan Ladd, Ed.D.

Though AP courses remain one of the most popular methods for high school students to earn college credits, dual enrollment programs are beginning to catch on – fast!

The Point Pleasant Borough High School proudly offers a selection of dual enrollment programs offered in cooperation with Ocean County College, Monmouth University and Syracuse University Project Advance [SUPA] as well as the Ocean County Vocational Technical School programs.

Plus, studies have proven that participation in college-credit earning programs is highly correlated with college readiness,” she said. “These programs not only provide students with the knowledge and skills necessary to succeed in a post-secondary environment but also increase the likelihood that students earn college degrees within a standard four-year time frame and achieve higher grade point averages compared to other students.”

One of this year’s newest programs – Syracuse University’s Project Advance - provides district students the opportunity to take Syracuse University courses embedded in the regular school day, earning college credit, which they may transfer to their post-secondary school. The first SUPA course - Principles and Contemporary Issues in Sports Management – was introduced at the high school this year.

Superintendent of Schools Vincent S. Smith stressed the economic benefits of dual enrollment programs, saying, “Dual enrollment programs can really take some of the sting out of skyrocketing college costs. Students can earn college credits for a fraction of the cost so not only are they getting a jump start on their college educations but they’re also saving on their long-term tuition costs. A student exiting high school can apply an earned associate’s degree or college credits towards their bachelor’s degree for substantial savings.

Tomorrow’s Teachers is another new program that was introduced this year for juniors and seniors who aspire to become teachers. The one-year course allows prospective teachers to gain specialized training and hands-on experience in teaching. Fairleigh Dickinson, Rider and Stockton Universities grant college credit to students who successfully complete the program.

“The Point Pleasant School District plans to continue investigating additional college-credit-earning opportunities to academically challenge our students while providing them with every opportunity to achieve success,” he said.

In addition to embedded Ocean County College courses, the district also offers Jump Start, another college-credit earning opportunity with the college. Jump Start allows students to take college classes at OCC’s main campus or at any number of satellite schools, including Point Pleasant Borough High School.

For more information about Point Pleasant Borough High School’s college-credit earning opportunities, students should visit their guidance counselor.

To learn more about Point Pleasant Borough Schools, visit www.pointpleasant.k12.nj.us.

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This Foundation was established to provide drug and behavioral health curriculum and education to local schools for the prevention of addiction.

Nicholas was a graduate of Point Pleasant Borough High School who passed away in November 2016 from a heroin overdose. His family is hopeful that this foundation will help bring awareness of this epidemic in New Jersey, especially Ocean County.

Donations to the Nicholas Hudanish Foundation can be mailed to: 703 Hommann Ave., Perth Amboy, NJ 08861

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Rover Rescue Open Your Home and Your Heart

by Lauren Kehoe

Rescuing dogs is a beautiful thing. It takes a special person to open their home to a living, breathing creature. Some dogs may have behavior quirks, unknown histories, or health issues.

The word may unnerve some, but there is also the option of adopting a hospice dog.

Recently one of the dogs I cared for at work that had been deemed hospice was adopted.

Over the few months she lived at the sanctuary, she had potential interest, but her dislike for other animals complicated things. We were constantly asked questions about her condition and how long she had left. She had stage five cancer and had undergone two surgeries, and the vets did not want to go in and operate again. At five years old, they wanted her to live a happy life rather than one overrun with surgeries. She took one pain medication and one allergy medication daily and had plenty of energy.

Lauren Kehoe is an avid animal lover and dog owner.

Answering the question of how much time she had remaining was always the same; we didn’t know. Many times vets will over or under estimate how long a “hospice” animal has left. It’s impossible to predict the future and really decide the length of one’s life. In fact, it can be more comforting for an owner to not know and simply enjoy the time they do have. Hospice dogs can live for a few months or a few years.

In this sanctuary dog Willa’s case, she was a very low maintenance hospice animal.

Many dogs may be require more medication, fluids, or frequent vet checks. Some rescues and shelter offer foster agreements rather than adoption to help assist with the costs of vet care. It is important to learn all of the needs the dog will have to decide if you are properly equipped to house the animal.

Instead of looking at hospice dogs as a pet with a ticking clock, it can be helpful to swap perspectives and imagine all of the love and fun you can fit into the remainder of their lives. A terminal sentence can restrict activity or limit what the dog can do, but it also forces you to get creative. If a dog has trouble walking, there is the option of wagons or strollers. If they have elimination issues, you can close off a room with a tile or wood floor and lay down some easy to clean blankets.

Hospice is intended to allow dogs or animals with terminal medical sentences to live their lives out comfortably in a home environment. It can be a daunting task, but equally rewarding. Caring for a hospice animal is not for everyone, but is something to consider if there is room in your home and your heart!

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Fashion Frenzy Goals Are Always In Style

By Denise Brady Acanfora, Certified Personal Stylist and Owner, The Urban Exchange

Coco Chanel says a girl should be two things – who and what she wants. Are you who you want to be?

Are you what you want to be? If not, now is a good time to look at that.

We shed our heavy coats and sweaters and get ready to welcome Spring with its longer days and promise of new beginnings. It’s the perfect time to welcome a new version of ourselves.

This need not be an overwhelming task. It also does not need to be a complete overhaul of every aspect of your life. Tiny changes and tweaks in your daily life can yield big results.

One step every day will get you closer to any goal or desire you have. The magic starts when you take a step.

So how about you pour yourself a cup of tea – or tequila (this is a judgement free zone) and take some time for yourself.

Take some time to identify how you want to feel – how you want to look – how you want to roll through Spring and the rest of the year.

If you would like to enjoy the company of like-minded ladies as you create your very own vision board you can join me for a workshop.

Take some time for yourself. Relax and journal for a bit. Explore the answers and insights that reveal themselves through questions that identify your values and intentions.

Please contact me at the Urban Exchange to register for this fun event.

Telephone 732-202-6609 Supplies, sips and snacks are included - $40 per person Thursday March 1, 2018

Don’t wait for someone to bring you flowers.

Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul.

— Luther Burbank

One fun thing you can do to help you achieve any goal is to create a vision board. It is a creative way to remind yourself how you want to feel and what you want to achieve. You choose pictures and words that remind you of your goals and reinforce the vision you have for your life. You paste them on a board and decorate it with fun craft items. Then you hang your vision board where you can see it every day. But let’s be clear. Creating the vision board does not guarantee that you will get everything you want. Creating the vision board does not guarantee that you will feel the way you want to feel. Your vision board will serve as a reminder.

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When you look at your vision board every day you plant a seed.

You remind yourself of what you want and how you want to feel.

You bring attention, awareness and energy to your goals. You tend to the seeds that you planted. Then you go about your day. You will start making decisions that bring you closer to your goals. As I said before – the magic is in the action steps that you take. You pack your lunch and eat a healthy meal because you value your health and want to feel strong and in control. You say no to an invitation that does not interest you and therefore free up time to enjoy a hobby because you value time to create and want to feel connected to the side of yourself that explores and appreciates art. You lay out your outfit the nite before work because you value being taken seriously at work and want to feel pulled together and professional.

It is very important to remember that choosing a goal because it’s what you are “supposed” to do – or it’s what you “should” do -will never get you the results you desire. You need to create your vision for yourself – not for anybody else. There is no right or wrong vision – it is just what feels good and true for you. When you take the time to focus on your goals – goals based on your values, your needs, your desires – you will grow a beautiful garden of happiness from the seeds you have planted.

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Parental Guidance Growing Minds

By Maureen Whelan

It has long been debated if nature or nurture determines one’s outcomes in life. The argument still exists but has been renamed the Fixed vs. Growth Mindset. The Fixed Mindset group believe their abilities, intellectual level and talents are static traits. Their accomplishments are not really theirs to own, as this talent was thrust upon them without permission. Challenges introduce a great deal of anxiety, as their failure or success will dictate who they are, for all the days of their lives.

Effort is diminished. Growth Mindset people believe abilities, intellectual levels and talents can be developed over a lifespan. There is less focus on the accomplishment and more focus on the experience. Challenges are contemplated as opportunities, and failures reflected on as meaningful learning experiences. So, which one are you? Chances are, you are both. California psychiatrist Thomas Lewis, and author of the Theory of Love writes, “DNA is not the heart’s destiny; the genetic lottery may determine the cards in your deck, but experience deals the hand you can play.” This is something to which most parents can relate. We can’t change certain things about ourselves or our children. Disabilities, mental health challenges, physical health, and other life stressors are at ingrained in our being, and there are so many factors in life that are outside our control. However, if you can acknowledge that we control our responses, expectations, plans, timelines and deflect others expectations and disappointments, then you have tiny shoots of the growth mindset taking root.

Researchers are spending a lot of time on this theory recently, and results are quite remarkable.

Students who participate in Growth Mindset workshops experience more confidence, life enjoyment, decreased stress, healthier relationships, lower risks for depression, and an improved sense of responsibility. They also report decreased rates of being bullied as well as less participation in bullying activity. Labels, status and ego have less importance. Students recognize when other students are struggling, and with increased self-awareness they are sensitive to the process.

Maureen Whelan is a pediatric Occupational Therapist and mother of 4.

If there is a downside to this, it’s best explained

by Stanford University Psychology professor, Carol Dweck. Dweck warns of “False Growth Mindset”, created by well-intended but misinformed individuals, who purely praised effort, even if there was little. They may offer effort as the reward, (“At least you tried your best”), with little time to reflect on the process. The good intentions are in place to protect children from disappointments, labels and to provide hope to the hopeless. These intentions fail because the recipient, the child, is no longer an active part of the process. As parents we are likely all guilt of this at some point, but that doesn’t mean we can’t change ourselves.

At a younger age, I was certainly a rigid thinker, considering only a child’s diagnosis, and believing that a treatment plan and prognosis would follow.

Then, I started working with the amazing pediatric population and their families. It was by far, my most valuable education. I discovered that being born with one arm doesn’t mean you can’t play baseball or high school tennis. I learned that being born without legs and only one arm doesn’t mean you won’t skateboard or drive a car. I know that the greatest laughs are produced by kiddos who are non-verbal. I discovered that rainbow loom bracelets can be made by a child who has paralysis on one side of their body. I worked with incredibly intelligent parents who have only a grade school education. These are the people that taught me to consider the process, appreciate the experience, reflect on the failure, revisit the plan, breathe, stand-up and try again.

March 2018

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Your Money Tax Season

by Steve De Jacimo

Good information is hard to find. Good financial information might even be a bit tougher.

With all this talk about “fake news”, which, of course, there is some, it seems tougher and tougher to get a straight answer about the things that affect us the most. Like money. And taxes. No matter how much money you have isn’t the point, how much you can keep from getting taxed…is. We all would like an easier tax season, right?

Have you ever heard a friend say, “Wow, I love this time of year.

Bring on the tax filing process!” Not so much.

In early February, I had the opportunity to go to William Skillender Wealth Management’s offices and sit in on a very relevant informational discussion on personal taxes. Here’s a quick side note…. the new tax laws will not affect your 2017 return. Too quick for that. But, by June of 2018, the new tax law changes will be in full effect and making inroads to our financial fabric.

The guest speaker at William Skillender Wealth Management was tax accountant, Steven Budrick. He answered several questions that ran through all different aspects of taxes and how it pertained to each person’s scenario. This was great information because the audience was getting their very important tax questions answered from a tax accountant.

A tax accountant that deals with these issues all day, every day. Not a spokesperson. Not a news guy. An expert in taxes.

How refreshing.

For more information these and other seminars at William Skillender, go to www.williamskillender.com, or call 732-722-7888.

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One of New Jersey’s hidden treasures, Point Pleasant Beach is located along the Jersey Shore. Being in such an authentic part of New Jersey, we offer you more than just a venue for your wedding, but the complete serenity that you desire for your special night. Our lavish ballroom offers you the perfect setting for your special day.

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Walking the Path of Recovery “I‘m Going to Die, I Need Help”: A Jersey Shore Man’s Journey Out of Addiction

By Denise DiStephan

C.J. Holowach was high, broke, friendless and hopeless when he picked up the phone to tell his mother he wanted to die.

Alvernia is for young people who had not succeeded at their first try in college due to addiction, but who, after entering their own journey towards recovery, return to school and live in a sober environment.

It was January 2016, he was in Florida, far from his family in Manasquan. He was 25 years old and had been abusing drugs for 10 years, mostly popping pills to sleep, to wake up, to live.

Holowach has stayed clean for two years after several earlier attempts did not work out. He said the difference is that in January 2016 he really wanted recovery, it was his idea and he was finally determined to make it work.

Now he held his phone in his hand, telling his mother he couldn’t go on.

“I had gone through a whole inheritance, I had no more money,” he explained. “I was having a moment of desperation. At this point, death was not the worst option.

“I gave up my will,” he said. “I was ready. I had nothing left.” He added that there is no cure for addiction and that he has to continue to work on his recovery every day.

“I called my mother and told her I didn’t want to live anymore,” said Holowach, now 28.

He said he wants those who are concerned about family members struggling with addiction to know that they cannot force them into recovery.

“I was prepared for my son to die,” said Trish Bossone, Holowach’s mother, a lifelong Manasquan resident. “He told me he was going to get a prescription and kill himself. I hung up, crying, thinking this would be it.”

But after Holowach put the phone down, he had second thoughts about giving up and emailed Caron, a substance abuse recovery center in Wernersville, PA. “I was desperate. I asked for help, I had no other options left,” Holowach remembers. “Something came over me and I decided to email them. It was a Higher Power moment,” he said, borrowing a term at the heart of 12-step programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) and Narcotics Anonymous (N.A.).

“You can’t force someone into it, but you can support them in their recovery, you can say, ‘I’m here to support you if and when you’re ready to get yourself better.’ “

“

I want people to know it can happen to anyone.

“She had told me, ‘I can’t keep enabling you,’ “ Holowach said.

“Maybe I was thinking, ‘My family isn’t willing to pay for me to go to rehab anymore, but I’ll show them. I’ll go and I’ll get better.’ ”

“I had slowly accepted that he was killing himself,” she said. “I just kept praying that he would hit bottom and realize he needed help.”

That is exactly what happened. Bossone said she is proud of her son for not only finding his own path to recovery, but also for helping others in their own journeys.

“I think a line of the email to Caron said, ‘I’m going to die. I need help.

Please help.’ “ Holowach said he wasn’t sure if Caron would reply to his email, but reply they did and he made a second call to his mother, letting her know he was going to Caron for help. Caron had him on a plane to their treatment center the next day. Holowach found Caron’s 30-day treatment program helpful, and he was grateful its foundation provided a scholarship for the treatment. But he knew he needed more care.

She is also grateful she found her own recovery through Naranon, which helps participants in every aspect of their lives by providing them with coping skills and guiding them toward an understanding that they can only control themselves. Naranon, like N.A., was borne from A.A. “Naranon has given me my life back,” said Bossone. “I became less consumed with whether my son was using. I realized I needed to get myself healthy.”

“You’re not better after 30 days,” he said, uttering a sentiment preached by many addicts in recovery as well as many of the professionals who work with them daily.

Holowach said he started using drugs back in high school to compensate for his own feelings of inadequacy.

He then lived at a halfway house, Transitions in Recovery, in Mohnton, PA, a housing and treatment facility for those in drug and alcohol recovery. The highly-structured, transitional living program includes 24/7 supervision and outpatient treatment.

“For years I didn’t like who I was,” he remembers. “I wasn’t social enough, I wasn’t skinny enough, I wasn’t cool enough. I wasn’t enough.

“But when I picked up 30 mg of Oxycodone, I felt like I was king of the world,” he said, referring to a generic version of one of the most commonly abused opioid pain killers. “I believe the disease of addiction was in me and, along with the other issues, it was a recipe for addiction.

I think I was born with this disease and Oxycodone lit the spark and started it.”

Holowach said that with the help and support of A.A. meetings and his family, he has been clean since Jan. 11, 2016 and continues to work on his own recovery.

He works as a counselor assistant on the Teenage Male Services Unit at Caron’s main facility in PA. He also works as the recovery dorm manager at Alvernia University’s sober living dorms. He lives there with 10 other young men, where Caron runs a collegiate recovery dormitory.

”

She also wants people to know there is help available, from A.A., N.A. and Naranon.

Naranon is a 12-step, support group program for family members of those struggling with drug addiction. Bossone said Naranon helped her realize she could no longer help her son when he was actively using, even when he was on the brink of ending his own life.

Bossone had paid for a few stints in rehab, only to see her son relapse.

She had told him, prior to that January 2016 phone call, she could not go on paying for treatment.

March 2018

Bossone said she is speaking publicly about her son’s struggle because

Holowach, like many teenagers, started drinking when he was a high school freshman, at first socially on weekends. By sophomore year,

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he was smoking pot, then started taking Oxycodone and continued consuming pills through high school.

Holowach said he had started lying to his mother before he started using, but lying and other negative behavior worsened with drug use.

He graduated from Manasquan High School in 2008 and went away to college.

“I stole quite a bit from my mother before she knew I was using,” he said. “I was lying before I was using. I was trying to sneak cigarettes.

I would try to coat the smell with cologne so my mom wouldn’t smell it on me.”

“When I first went to college, I couldn’t fall asleep without some type of substance,” he said. “And my addiction fully blossomed. I had inherited some family money. And I went wild using at college, smoking, drinking, taking pills. It made me feel socially better. My ego was through the roof. I dropped out of college in junior year. Maybe it was 2011. And I got to the end of the money I inherited.

Holowach had occasionally used heroin.

“But I preferred pills and I had the money for it,” he said.

Now, as Holowach works on his own recovery, his mother works on hers, through Naranon and through RAFTS. RAFTS is a volunteer group that meets in Manasquan, and serves the southern Monmouth County/ northern Ocean County region by providing recovery coaching, sober activities and referrals for those suffering from various forms of addiction and for their families.

“On Father’s Day, I told my father I’m an addict and I need help,” Holowach said. “Then I called my mom.”

“I was dope sick, sick from opioids,” he remembers. “I was emotional and felt like dying. I thought the only thing I could do was call home.

The next day my uncle picked me up from college, in South Carolina, and drove me back home.”

For more information about the organizations mentioned above, see Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Naranon and RAFTS.

In 2011, after leaving college, Holowach attended an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP), a part-time recovery program used at many substance abuse rehabilitation centers. He was 21 and it was his first treatment program. The IOPs range from six to 12 hours per week of group counseling, with the amount of hours varying from place to place.

Every day, more than 90 Americans die after overdosing on opioids, according to the website of the National Institute on Drug Abuse.1 “The misuse of and addiction to opioids—including prescription pain relievers, heroin, and synthetic opioids such as fentanyl—is a serious national crisis that affects public health as well as social and economic welfare,” the website says. “The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that the total economic burden of prescription opioid misuse alone in the U.S. is $78.5 billion a year, including the costs of healthcare, lost productivity, addiction treatment, and criminal justice involvement.”

Holowach said the IOP didn’t help him and he continued to use.

He attended a full-time rehab program for 30 days in Pennsylvania, followed by living in a sober house and he was clean for about a year.

He moved to Florida and used suboxone, the brand name for buprenorphine, which some find effective for treatment of opioid use disorders, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

“That didn’t pan out well,” he remembers.

“I was on it for four years. Then my dad passed away and I took 10 valiums, mixed with opioids, before the funeral. As soon as I got the call that he died, my first thought was to get a prescription for benzos, for Xanax. I had the appointment, got the prescription and then things got worse.

I blew my inheritance in nine months, went to a rehab in California and got high six hours later.”

Holowach said his father was an alcoholic.

“He drank himself to death at the age of 52,” he said. “I think I inherited the disease of addiction from him.”

Holowach said his disease then went in a different direction.

“I was gambling at high limit slots at casinos, at $500 a spin. The euphoria it gives was amazing at the time. It was the same feeling I got from drugs.”

Trish Bossone, lifelong Manasquan resident, and CJ Holowach, her son, in February 2016, three weeks after Holowach began his path to recovery from drug addiction.

March 2018

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Legal Ease A column that simplifies areas of the legal industry for every day consumption.

This month’s topic...

Criminal Just Reform (Bail Reform)

by Christopher J. Grenda, Esq.

A Law Firm Where Every Client Matters!

On Jan. 1, 2017, the state abolished from a system that relied principally on setting monetary bail as a condition of release to a risk-based system – based on a scoring system – that is more objective, and thus, according to the state of New Jersey, fairer to defendants because any incarceration pending the outcome of their case is unrelated to their ability to pay monetary bail. The statute also sets deadlines for the timely filing of an indictment and the disposition of criminal charges for incarcerated defendants.

In describing the need for bail reform in New Jersey, Chief Justice of the New Jersey Supreme Court Stuart Rabner said “The existing bail system is not fair to poor defendants who, because they cannot post bail, are cut off from families and may lose their jobs. In terms of the charges against them, studies have shown that they face tougher plea offers and pressure to plead guilty because of the amount of time they have already spent in jail, and they receive longer sentences as compared to similarly situated defendants who were able to make bail.”

What happens after a Defendant is arrested? They will be charged on a summons or a warrant. If someone is charged on a summons, they will be released from custody with a first-appearance court date wherein they must appear in court. If they are charged on a warrant, they will be taken to the county jail to wait for a first court appearance. They will appear in court within 48 hours of commitment to the jail. At that time, they will either be released subject to pre-trial release conditions set by the court or held without bail because the State is seeking to detain them without bail until trial. In that event, a detention hearing will be scheduled for within three business days (weekends and holidays exluded). If an extension is filed by either side an additional 2 days later can be requested. At the hearing, the judge will decide whether to grant the State’s motion seeking to hold them in jail until trial without a possibility for bail. If the prosecutor makes a motion to detain a person until trial, the judge will consider a risk assessment tool – Public Safety Assessment (PSA) – based on their prior record and any other information bearing on the risk that they will not appear or commit an offense while on pretrial release. The judge could determine that a person should be held without bail. In the event that the judge believes that someone should be released, a pretrial services program (a division of the Superior Court) has been created to make certain that they comply with the conditions of release.

If the court finds that a person presents merely a minimal risk and can be safely released on their own recognizance (ROR), they will not have to do anything further. Otherwise, a pretrial services officer will monitor them if they are released with conditions. Monitoring could include a phone call or text to remind someone to show up in court, a requirement that you report to a court officer on a weekly or monthly basis; or, ensuring that someone comply with more restrictive conditions such as electronic monitoring and home detention.

As the risk level increases, the nature of the monitoring will be more restrictive.

The pretrial services officer will ensure that a

Christopher J. Grenda, Esq. is a former prosecutor who has handled: • Thousands of DWI Cases • Thousands of Criminal Cases including Drug Possession and Assault/Domestic Violence • Tens of Thousands of Traffic Cases

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defendant is notified of future court appearances, will alert the court of any violations of release conditions, and will also initiate the release revocation process.

Christopher J. Grenda, Esq. is an attorney licensed in the State of New Jersey with offices in Toms River, New Jersey. Mr. Grenda holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in History/Pre-Law from Limestone College in Gaffney, South Carolina and a Juris Doctorate (JD) from Thomas M. Cooley Law in Lansing, Michigan. Mr. Grenda is a former municipal prosecutor who handled multiple towns throughout Ocean and Monmouth counties. Today, Mr. Grenda is a sole practitioner who primarily practices in DWI Defense; Criminal Defense; Real Estate; and Wills.

March 2018

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Healthy Morsels, II Eat Well, Feel Good

by Lynn O’Hara

I just got back from a therapist retreat in Costa Rica. My winter weary skin was grateful for the warm breezes and sunshine. It was also really nice to get to focus on myself for a change. Everyone should get the opportunity to do that for themselves once in awhile.

It’s a great re-boot. While that was all fantastic, one of the greatest things about this retreat was the food and what it did for me.

like the taste of. Eating well leaves you feeling satisfied, not stuffed. It promotes feeling good. Sugar hangovers don’t occur so there is no need for frequent meals to get the blood sugar up.

Lynn O’Hara, MS, RD, LPC Licensed Psychotherapist Registered Dietitian (732) 899-9312 www.lynnoharalpc.com

The bottom line here is that eating well feels good. Providing your body with nutritious foods is caring for yourself. Allowing yourself to eat well is being kind to yourself. Restrictive dieting is punishing.

Overeating is punishing. The food I ate for the week on my retreat was so good that when I got to the airport and went to eat a burger I couldn’t choke it down. All that tells me is we have gotten very used to eating quite poorly. To me that is a shame. Take the time to make sure what you are eating fills you well and makes you feel good. Until next time, eat healthy, be happy.

The place I stayed was a retreat spa in the mountains of Costa Rica.

Of course there was plenty of fresh fruit available at this spa. There was also lots of fresh fish, chicken and vegetables at every meal.

What wasn’t present was soda, processed food of any sort or any junk food. Portions were what you wanted to take but when items were portioned out, such as in slices of cake, they were very small.

There were teas of all sorts and fresh fruit juice, including coconut milk right out of the coconut, at every meal. There was also organic wine and beer if you so desired.

You may wonder why I am telling you about the food served at this retreat. The reason is quite simply that after eating this way for a week I realized three things. One, I felt better than I have in a long time and two, I did not, in any way, want to eat any processed foods, salt or extra sugar when I left my vacation. The last thing I realized is that it would be quite hard to eat this same way at home for a multitude of reasons.

Our country’s food supply system is set up to promote overweight and obesity. Processed foods and foods that aren’t very good for us are advertised in a way that makes them very alluring. It is very easy to get and eat junk all day long. Junk food is quick, cheap and even a bit addictive. Eating healthy requires forethought and planning. Eating healthy requires cooking for oneself and taking time to use only the best food available. To that end it can also be a bit more costly. Eating healthy also means educating yourself to avoid falling for deceptive advertising. This can all feel a bit daunting but it is totally worth it. Now, eating healthy does not mean dieting so don’t jump on any Whole 30 bandwagon and think you are doing yourself any favors. I’m talking about feeding yourself, nutritious, whole foods that are low in added salt, fat and sugar.

Eating fruit that is sweet or an avocado, which is high in monounsaturated fat, is fine. Take the time to plan your meals and snacks keeping in mind that you want to eat things you actually

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Back to Earth The Magic of the Mantraist

by Natalie Berko

Everything has a particular vibratory frequency, every word, every thought and every emotion. Our vibration is defined by how we feel, think and speak. Sound is an incredibly powerful vibration that we can use a tool to find inner peace. Mantra is one of these such tools “man” meaning mind, “tra” meaning waves or projections. Sanskrit and a collection of other ancient languages such as Tibetan, prototypical Eqyptian and ancient Hebrew evolved as a complex system of onomatopoeia, where the sounds evoke movements of energy. This evocation is qualitative and subjective linked to interoception (inner body sensations) and emotional sense of self, which is predominantly represented in the right hemisphere of the brain. The narrative strand of sounds in which meaning is given is done predominantly through the left hemisphere. From a physics standpoint the sound of a mantra even before it is assigned meaning will resonate in different parts of the body and mind, creating actual interactions or events. Therefore mantra is the projection of the mind through sound vibrations. Mantra uses sound to evoke movement of a physical and emotional energy through stimulation of the nervous system, from which emerges meaning and narrative. A small pebble thrown in a pond creates numerous ripples reaching quite far, in the same non itself. Same way, the words, which we pronounce, create vibrations and waves in our mind, which awakens subtle powers in us. In order to have insight into and validate a mantra for ourselves, it must be experienced and felt through introspection. The mantra Om or “Aum” , is one of the most common in Sanskrit and Tibetan and a great mantra for everyone to build a regular practice. If Aum is indeed onomatopoeic then performing it can create an event inside the nervous system, which can then become an object of concentration and meditation and thereby a focal point for expanding physical and emotional awareness. Aum has the capacity to progressively open up the practitioner to the ever-present formless and timeless reality, the background radiation of the cosmos. Aum exists in everything the words we speak, the things we use and within ourselves. The daily chanting of Aum will bring peace to your mind, body, and soul. Aum represents the three states of consciousness.

“A” is the waking state, “U” the dream state, and “M” is the state of deep tranquil sleep. The feelings and symbolic representations of the sounds will differ from person to person because like any tool, the effects of the sounds depend on the user operating them and the object of use, namely the condition of the body and Natalie Berko mind. The practitioner should first develop Certified a state of relaxation through proper Crystal Healer breathing. Mantras can be done vocally, sub-vocally (whispering) or silently in the mind. It is recommended to start aloud, and then proceed with the more silent variations. Silent repetition does have an effect; when the frequency of any sound is high enough, it extends beyond the human range of hearing and eventually achieve stillness, which is beyond sound itself. Usually when Aum is chanted, there is a silence between two Arms. This silence represents the state if turiya or the fourth state which is known to be a state of bliss. In this state, a person identifies himself with the Supreme. When you chant Aim, it is said that you will let go of all things worldly. You will start focusing more, and your body will be rejuvenated. If you chant Aum 50 times, especially when you are low and depressed, you will feel lively and energized almost instantly. Practicing a mantra can not only improve your concentration but has significant physical benefits. Your spinal cord becomes strengthened, body de-stresses and eventually, it will naturally begin to detoxify itself. Meditation regulates the blood circulation bringing more oxygen to the body. When you breathe in combination with the vibrations of mantra, you get rid of a whole lot of toxins. The worldly problems and busy schedules are the root causes of all the problems in our lives. Adopting a mantra removes all causes of worry and imparts great peace to your mind. When your mind becomes peaceful, your sleep cycle will return to a natural rhythm priming the mind and body for the next day.

Practice.

1. Look for a calm place. Sit comfortably. The best position to assume would be sitting with your legs crossed and you’re back erect.

2. It is important to be comfortable, so it is advised that you wear loose clothes in light clothes.

You need to let all the channels in your body free.

3. Place your right palm in your left, both facing upward and next to your navel.

4. Now, close your eyes and relax. Make sure your body and mind are calm.

5. Take account of all the vibrations that happen in each part of your body.

Once you are aware of every sound in your body, breathe in, and count to five.

Then breathe out as you count to seven. Repeat three times.

6. When you exhale the third time feel the vibrations in the abdomen as you chant slowly Aum. 80 percent of your chant should be “Au” and 20 percent should be “M”.

7. Chant Aum three times, and then slowly increase it to nine. Once you finish with the meditation, breathe normally as you concentrate on it for about five minutes.

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08742 Living / Manasquan Life is: Steve DeJacimo Owner and Editor 732.239.1482 sdejacimo@gmail.com Debbie Lada, dzigns Design Director 201.906.9454 dzigns4you@aol.com Jennifer Malpass Photographer, Photo Editor

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It is possible that the information may be out of date, incomplete or the opinion of the author. It is advisable that you verify any information from this magazine before relying on it.

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