How to get your spouse to love you again Like the seasons, love in a relationship grows and wanes. One of the most common myths in marriages is the belief that when the love wanes the relationship is over. It’s not. If your spouse says ‘I have fallen out of love with you,’ don’t panic. It doesn’t mean your marriage is over. It doesn’t even mean they don’t love you. What it does mean is that your spouse has lost their way, or doesn’t understand the many stages love and a relationship goes through. You are being called to take charge of the situation, guide your spouse towards understanding this process, and even begin to rekindle your relationship. The key to success is in understanding what is happening in your marriage and the role that love plays. It’s very easy for us to connect losing the feelings of being in love with actual loving when it is not really the case. After the initial thrill of romance is gone, couples often find themselves lost and confused. What they don’t realize is that love is not just this heady lustful feeling that carries us away. That feeling has a shelf life. When the prospect of spending years together sets in, the correct question to ask one’s self would be ‘How now do I love without the initial thrill?’ We have to discover that every relationship has stages: