1 SIGFRIDSSON AS ONE
GOTSALA 46 PHOTOGRAPHY BY 1 SIGFRIDSSON ALL RIGHTS OWNED BY 1 SIGFRIDSSON ISBN 978-91-979005-3-9
ISBN 978-91-979005-0-8
PRINTED EDITION
E-BOOK
I AM Wanted a slumber down in the valley close by almond trees in worthy bloom Ring the always longed for lyre tones. But, became another Wished to stand free in dark green autumn cleansed from all the living years’ hard grin To live and die pretty as an autumn leaf. But, am by mistakes tied Became rainfall, cold calling winds, trust in Fate, a brief scent before death, as scythed nettle, broken citrus leaves, autumn land after night rains
It wishes to shatter here between the gravel and the foliage
Finding the worst love That, which could not be found
But, I can undoubtedly love when there is something to love
I am laid opened, as one solely unrotten, in the apple basket given to the sorrows I am so strangely hard, so oddly grained, to be carried away from abandoned mills Knowing all waving wind-flowers Sun kissed Those, beautifully crestfallen, already dulled, worn inside a heart that was nearly enough and to your refusal have never been missed
For me, betrayal is not good enough, cleanest love violated, the ruins’ clothes or my own will’s struggle slaughtered
I am entangled, stricken down in quenching pettiness I am grieved, filled with all the days’ nothingness I am mist raised, clouded, covered underneath weakened will
I am hidden, with this unreachable cold-hammered need I am glowing snow on frozen stock in memory’s burned down forests I am incarcerated, left where blemishes are left I am my winnings pulled away, taken and swept in a gulp
I am a still night cloud, a raised scent of leaves, that will never find the Worlds again Holding the Tree you know carries your leaves while we break its limbs I am this. I am what you never can feel or know
IN YET ANOTHER AUTUMNFALL Dream me in rowanwreathed autumnforest days where shimmering clings near the sleeping fields meanwhile a broken mist stumbles, lifts — Rises And a silent rain sweeps — The bonfire hisses
Travelling mist covered And soon it dawns again — Again Watching wilderness, playing with dry leaves, eating my thistles carefully and gifting smiles beneath days of past in mirrored greyish skies And have alone been stuck — Where Time stopped The almost unnoticed waves in the mountain creek are listening near to the pleasing small drops of rain, watching this forest thin slowly with this Autumn and knew these leaves would fall in here — Again Travelling mist covered — Traceless And soon it dawns again — Again Reached an early marsh under slow leaf falling, herein may serenity caress and milden
You, Autumnland, are Death’s lost portent And soon a winternightwind was heard calling
GOTSALA Wandering primeval forest, through swamps and over meadows Living on reed root, lingo berries and blueberries Tasting the smell of wet moss and resin Carry me to glimmering lights from the pond mirrors where the bed beside here is laid spruce twigs in a glade Handed a handshake to the dew when the hearts storms were overcome Casted cleansed from the poverty need to find myself rested near the trees I shall make snow here Wrap myself in soft moss Climb inside the faded flowers underneath ill-painted dark skies Molts of cold Mist rests Breaking sleep off Inside this waiting the inner life-achievement is done Learning to live Again
WINTERFELLED Letting your nightsnow glimmer Calming the storm while ice snare branches
And it is winterstill by sprucewhisper above fleetingly singing ices, by thousands of frozen tarns inside forest glades
Winterfelled, rime grabs hold of the branchery like we hear our groaning steps silenced Listen. Be quiet now, snowfall, right here, by the spruce, the winterbird eats for its life while Death wants to say something about the sorrows — I was the one born unto snow in a permanent thaw, one the world skyembraced sprinkled splintered answers and left me to be remained, long lasting as tender snow, one so aloned, leaving all my sorrows over wrong graves In tears collecting the dead heart before the sick The last sight endearing land of blood and stones as I squint over all of this too thin-sown beauty frosty nights caught frozen in a shined darkness Want to own myself nothing beyond rest, Endtime dozed away, want something higher the flames of will sent me burnt in here In tears collecting the living heart before the dead
MY LOVE THIS IS THE TENDER EMBRACE OF LOVE! Binding twigs against darkness, the threatening, which threatens to burn all our heartsongs and take what is lovable from its curing A young Ash bends down to answer Flowers step up and play! My love is for springs, blackberries and rainbows! My love is for silver fir trees and wild grown pear trees! My love is the sun-warmed cowslip slopes and paddocks! I kiss the wind healthy, smiling with the skies here, laughing at the curious fox there! An appreciation of the volatile you learn whereas we to our heart pick berries! The wagtail trips, the worms lay on a line A twig is broken on the ground far from a town Stone shards stand in a circle The cornflower knows everything! My love is for the groves, wild strawberries and ponds! My love is for mushrooms and extensive valleys! My love is the glittering creeks and mountain trails! MY LOVE IS FOR EVERYTHING WORTH LOVING!
RAINED Rain thickens the skies, dresses the landscape A heavy rain wets the forest, dances in the stream, bends bilberry shrubs placed upon the mossed stones while running rills nearby through the thicket, as for a dream Stumbling roots — diverting wounds There! Sunbeamembraced wild trees hidden mountainwreathed wasteland strengthens what memories miraged: Strangely Reality has been branched
There lies an arrow in the rain, shot, brought here, stuck into a forsaken heart Sent here silenced, bittered and lived Stopped.
Rained in sea
LET ME SEARCH FOR FOUR-LEAF CLOVERS Let me be in all the days where wild strawberries are attached to straw, where lilies of the valley gleam white in the glades and my chanterelles glow yellow from the groves Let me search for four-leaf clovers Let me gladly drown the sorrow and become the real in me Let me inoculate a leaf on a three-leaf clover Let me create four-leaf clovers! LET ME! Remaining here was this heart in its anciently dormant well to retrieve, open and carry Raising myself Letting me newkiss the wetlands’ sun-warmed cloudberries in the wilderness where the deer’s dances nightly with elks while these stars in this night are set guard over the sparks and the rowan berries solemnly sail across the forest lakes Raising myself It takes a while before the veils bend down
Gone
are dusted membranes
AWAITED Awaken in the moment mists climb the mountain Writing three words; Not a word — on molten fragile leaves the winds have thrown around I hasten there, up to, close to almond trees in its new, refilling calm and leaving behind tears from a joyous that will soon trickle me away fast against this world as missed moments of beauty finds sorrows for days Eagles and ravens follow through the valley glen home to how Wind caresses the clouds slightly — Home Here — over these chamomilestrewn tracks that meanders on a gathered freodpath far away from the wound’s revilers Hold me as one always awaited, present and sorely missed, owning these memories that was worthy to be left alone and continue to blossom sweetly here, even after my death
Shifting — Moving eyes between Light and the afterglow of darkness The night has torn itself, sending lovewords to the Universe again, kissing the stars eyes softly, tenderly, without any frailty to remain
IN AN AWAITED LUSTFALL Leaned against this mirkened fence are we found equally bleached, beaten by sun, rain and winter cold The wait was like cracks around ice-holes, in cold, not reliable and in complete inadequacy, for the scum’s loopholes, nonsensical sidetracks, refused me to blossom anew during my withering It all just carried on, kept creating that — nothing, when all of this suffering bred forth its pitifulness So, show me a memory freed from complaint here, but honourable to my eyes can only Knowledge be I am the quarry of Life’s faults with my pathfound steps Loved Always feared
Hated Always hailed
IN CLARITY
MIST
JOY! Smithen here in thy strength, always be Viet honourable wisdom to embrace and sweetened glitter, glim, IN CLARITY — MIST TRUTH! Honour is all love, Life won high and dignified to the alone secrets poured blood, IN CLARITY — MIST MIGHTS! Open our Reality, now carefully touch the skies risted earth and watchfully let us remain, IN CLARITY — MIST
ALLODJORD See earth fill cloth
Hear ditches in still trickle
Hamstringing Fate.
Waiting three Sundays
Breaking nested dusk — Cracks Opening the drum — Cracks Frozen solid wells — Cracks
Making torched night paths there black-clad birds dances while the moon bites caress inside a Windkissed harvest
Lifting, pressing land and mountains home to Godan blood
BLOOD TRACKS Think of faded traces of blood in the woods turned into dust in a last kiss of grey Two footprints under the turf Two dead at this place again Our eyes are still here, crowned over perfection, for we kissed the lack of death and put stones on thistles
We’re awaken, seen in wounds Heal, we heal
IN STILLNESS YOUR NAMES ARE WHISPERED Have caught the swallows shriek Laid dead flowers on the meadow Searched fragments of hardened memories Incarnating a kiss from memory. Renascent A window through the treetops shows its shards’ glow over the ground It is spoken here with bird words where our embers become burning Standing in and by the solid Tree we cry happiness in the warm rain In this high, bright and blue, above the plum trees blooming, down by the hyacinths beneath the skies, we were embraced here to protected be STAND TREE! Stand tree with your branches as arms’ Stand tree robed clean in blue and gold Stand tree in skin of bark of our innermost saved Shards, our richest shards of cried blood created for happiness and sweetness, worthy of our own home carried bliss In stillness your names are whispered Like fog thrown Dream without sleep Sigh in wind That was the memory Care for it tenderly
STONES WISDOM! How embarrassing you have become, your scent too near the madhouse sings its sorrows without any good motives What wisdom has cannot be used when what wisdom lacks is asked for From the remains think yourself clean and take the heart freed from words, for the thoughts upon your path where no one wish to wander crawl down in the ground where nothing can grow and carve ruins of the years to a paltry salary in shadowlike kneeling, in self-effacing moaning Clean tears fall only in words consolidated under vanity’s shelter where they loved with barbed wire and mockery to a great thrill for all our words’ tragic handouts… Words to the sting, given joy filled lust, to wishing wells’ finalized completions, made to participating, present answers Near The Altar of Fate nailed to remain. Most alike the believed picture of you is hailed or creeps down to another backlash reaction and becomes its own conclusions’ executioner; slanderer, and eventually the own wills whore therein depredated flesh from the thoughts sit as harrowed, in ridiculous unpalatable qualms, hailing spilling, tearing down inherited rights, while monarchy and democracy lie stupidity upon a conspiring and deranged slaughter table under imitation, unwanted shiny residues, showing the highest heights’ devised murder Spring water in swamps will swamp water be.
GIVE LIFE! Being cut new scars Being made new deathwords All new wither anew Overripe means rotten Sculpted stone is stone! Teach the autumn leaves survival! Cleanse me from your surfaces. Cobweb shudder Captured hung in pieces Coldembraced, misharvested and patinated At home in permafrost Sole host and sole guest Left burned out
Send my well documented threatening letters to Suffering No answer
Send a complaint to the Kastalian well Answers
Waiting
Moving
Our Sun rites belong to all districts inside of Sunsigned and Treesigned Remaining here until the Olympian Give life, loved! Give life in this chilled air Give life in this sight over the district GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE! GIVE LIFE! The Observer, cared for autographs of symbolism and honestly missed glad memories all while the creeks so deeply dug had not yet reached to the oceans The Collector, wished for words of diamonds, an utility game against vermin’s dancing That the pen, the weak’s defense, once again would usurp the feel of living
Numbing unwillingness is starved
Nightly cleansing baths
Drinking healing spring water as an obsessed
The Sun glitters over the valley
GLADED HEAR! Now take the path here — Come and be gladed! Gladed! — Taken from worries, remembering glittered creekwater, we’re rushed to, binding herein, lovely daybreak’s new! Wandered! — Peacefilled with sweet harsh common fern taste taking steady morning steps on dewloved path! Entranced! We wriggle the bolt off into brushwood’s hiding places, finally twig off this drunken suffering carried us forth, for Gladness, when facing life, wish to escape quickly! Loved — lifting gently worn out glances to spring-set our fallow, discerning forest still sighing, nourished clean of this light, hastening the trip, fast cloth, wreath us in living grandeur! Whispered — at the end of the glade Truth searched; owned its answer next to a dull green, soft and willing, a leaved fair craving cut with richest imaginable berry-flowers cleanest needs!
We thread gladed forth, running welled up, and come here silently, for soon the flowering is gone and the years have us kissed through!
STEPS BEHIND STEPS Time stares me with eyes so scarred that the heart flees The cold is beckoning Steps behind steps were heard I flow united with the stream water where the mists speak to the cypresses Raise me as drowned Slaughter me as given Grow me as thought Taking wordtears in Taking fragments home My real rituals’ fairest slices poured chasted inside libations lay fulfilled, given and opened, to All-reconsolidating and liberating Steps behind steps were firstly heard where the strikes bends, then breaks, as Times trails are heavily trod upon and all forgiveness demands tributes
A SOLITARY SHADOW WITHOUT A NAME SEE THERE! Over the field wander a solitary shadow without a name who silently carries dusk till dawn into his own embrace See him from this night, while it tenderly calms, holds him He was born of Time between the Sun and Moon’s journey Let him Victorykiss Lif’s upcoming dawning! Let him own Troth as his voice in this world! LISTEN! Wishing to be sea smoke, fleeting and untouchable, into; and with this dawninglight transform herein, steal the hatred from these gashed pathtaken steps and once again be brought the Truths to be lived in Standing in grey till All is realized to be of Light! Loving All here until naught is left me missed here! Letting me Victorykiss Lif’s dawning! Letting me own Troth as my own voice! Over the field wander a loved man of his name who has carried dawn and dusk to our embrace
THE THIRD WOUND Early, just before the day notices me, scars me again, comes The First Wound driven up from the earth and speaks coldly, in a chilled and lightbroken night: I am the wind-extinguished light, the dearest sorrowfriend you met, all those left traces in the marsh The Second Wound, cast around self-defence, gorged in a hopelessly coldstricken embrace that has soon used up all of this vulnerability and reached in to Time to be awaken as bent: Sorrow has played too long on its own board with Life set up to become a fickle nothing (Hidden times were fully rooted in advance as Fate now hands in herself as fully written.) Final peels of pity scraped down A cold grip soon to be turned right There, over this hushed dusk a trembling candle flickering risen as shimmering: Clarity, Home to the very last wound
TO THE FRAGMENTS OF TRUTH It bitters just before the sunrise find its dew and after the dew have been sipped (Anyway, could never heal the nights wherein the hours stretched into dawn while flames searched hard for the light) Life searched (to leave me) meanwhile Sun silently extinguished the mists by the still and calm mountain ash over the creek
Life will come (to love me) in certainty, in the violets waving forestshadows
TO LIFE BEG Still in longing our embrace stayed, in dead words, pressed against the field moisture to grow as refused (Taking our love away from the labyrinthine answers on a night blackened heath)
Our tender moments searched in vain after its hold for hardened by remorse will hope us now own alone (Soiled and completely slain this heart in direness is forced to stay)
I have to reflect this with my least loved grin: To Life beg Meagerness has bared the weakness of words against our eye’s witness, glittered in dust’s helplessness; all these unmoving mirrors: Memories. I have waited too long, been stuck and emptied, wherein immovable walls have built life’s game, and ordered the nonyears unwise unlust ended: To be broken and buried
Dwelling here. Learned about Death: Life infected by its own tearing
Have spoken sweetly and touched near the shimmer, and; dignifiedly hated
Cold, love our farewell
Warm up the ground.
AS WORN OUT SHADOWPLAY Listening. Remembering aged forestshine Rainstrewn patterns Wet leaves caressing the ground Treading northnight. Walking paths, learning the craft of wordless validity, through the moon’s vividly painted forest-shadows over this sweet silence and wilted leaf soil Remaining. Now in a dawn without words. Standing beside the edge of the woods as a secret, as tired, failed and forgotten glimmered lumber where sorrows always are in a temporary frozen Remaining anyway. Stuck. I am forlorn-embraced, all too roughly ripped from this tearing uncertainty unbeknownst my frail wild-strawberry time returned and placed itself furthest away from un-necessity Freedom? Lingered on here under these lovingly sailing clouds while these charming wild-strawberry in the green stood helplessly faired in appeal after forgetfulness NAUD Cure: Life and Death.
TIND LIGHT! Wandered to burial mounds where the Oaths were given Risted The Path wherein was carried the longing of Worlds FEEL! Feel the torn initiated here to be forlorn Hard the frost strikes secrets while a worthy is ripped apart, hardened Torches flicker, cutting pieces from darkness Making my leaves, hearing wolves’ songs
Quiet The water called rain was given Weak twigs were cracked Still Hear the streams carve the mountain while wetted leaves chatter Night rain falls Storm comes The rain cried instead of me and for me Hidden under the Trees arms beautifying anxiety and withering with healing, resounding voices Tind light for your life! Tind light for our lives! Tind light! Tind light!
GLANCES WITHOUT WORDS The broken white-heart cherry tree, split in the trunk as it was, beautygrown to be and give; stands remembered While rivulets trickle down before him he removes worms from wild raspberries Daydreaming that He reaches Time, The All Reality’s Naval itself He, in lee safety under shelter He, which is calmed by the rain HOPE LUST WILL
SUN returned with eyes scarred He is redeciphered, violated and tarnished He is made unseen, outshined by illusion and left leafless Clawed by your nearness Clawed by my nearness Into the fold to be corrected wrong and poorly eat betrayal and wretch He gives glances without words
Flickered
This borne within, devouring, hate’s real despair, froststrikes this inconsolable life to all the Worlds in their waiting You will find only healthy stains which will appear to be as like unlike to feed more of the actual hindrance which refused this Önd’s greatness Cease commanding my reality-answers after your will-belief of whim emotions Taking me now from this unbearable, away from the existence of wassail, but… YOUR SOUGHT DIMINISHMENT WILL NOT REACH ME! HERE WILL FORCED UPON NEVER BE MY WILL! KNOW WHO HAVE STOLEN OUR EYES! GRABBING THE DEATH BREAD FROM US ALL!
CALLING FORTH THIS RENEWED WARPATH! GIVING US THE RIGHT LOVE BACK!
TAKING MY BLUE AWAY FROM YOUR EYES INITIATING. Here all eyes begin and take us from seeing of sagacious similarities home to the realities Strewing you with thistles, for that to be sieved is already dead Taking my blue away from your eyes A slab of meat left Taking those mirrors of shallowness Striking the laughter you gave Duped remained your life Taking you off. Given you have been by the hours of light which trickled down here through the clouds as you were destined to among us be found, but step by step your betrayal was nurtured I spoke straight to the carrdrowned where the bitterness of his grave met: Your blanket was of a cloven glory while Oaths gone and freely piggied and strolled around after suckling Now denied you cry in your sty Eyes opening Core falling on stone Flower nevermore Now the meat ends Ripping Önd from The Path To die right is the greatest You have come to The Path’s end.
AN INSWEPT WINDTRACE (MEMORIES) Living in my words — forthcoming memories. (Living replanted — sown as a fieldshadow.) When the misty streaks nightly with me wandered while I, in silent forests to fields slowly searched where torn away embraces had the heart emptied I am outlawed, in a sneaking wind hidden, concealed by the night leaves’ worn fading Desolation. Drinking The Well before the longing grows inevitable Taking forth my last alone path Dragging down pitiful, weatherbitten, wet soil, into a dusty shack at the foot of the pineforest ridge where sun cuts through the gaps in the wood boards Unnoticed. Inswept windtraces steps in with the cold and nothing is left me here to remain — untouchable
TO LIF’S KINGDOM Riding forward and Sign from the Path to Life Lif’s Kingdom shall crowned come Come closer Touch Life and Death here We are not mere meat and shadows We are Önd’s remained from Holy Times From Time in Time guarding and helping We shall never be seen begging at our own table upon our owned, this too long infested World! Vermin qualm in stolen wisdoms, making black and white of colours and raising houses with stolen bars So separate yourself from need like a leaf beckoning its winter! Let Viet’s suffering be eradicated here! Let Lif’s coming world reign! The Ravens cry in the forest The fog presses itself over the meadow and fades The Spear is thrown.
Time has come.