Agonies of a town

Dr.Reda Saleh

Agonies of A town (novel) Translated by Zein El-Abdeen said Mohamed

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‫ـ‬1 ‫ـ‬ Nothing is wiser than the saying reads: "let matters to the fate" Wherein peace found its place, and wherein all people settle on earth" *

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- When the train moves, you see it zigzags as a huge snake or a dragon erupts fire and smoke out of its big, black body. It shakes the town dividing it into parts declaring its arrival through a distinguishing whistle which awakens people. Its black smoke waves in escalating frequent pushes up to the sky, it moves in a zigzag way to avoid crushing into those ancient houses called "Baghadly"(1) standing on the two sides, and which keep still by nothing but Providence of god and his mighty, and his protective eye. Here railways which connect the town to Cairo, getting through roads in the middle of streets and squares, separating the town into two sides, and which were constructed during the reign of Ismail Basha, and finished completely late in the 19th century, during the British colonization in Egypt.

- Early in the 20th century those railways distributed in length and width, one of them reached port tawfeek district in south where the famous port, and the other goes through the town in width to oil companies and chemical fertilizers to transport goods and different oil products to Cairo, where from to other governorates. During the second world war, Egypt was one of its fronts on the world map, so some people immigrated from the canal towns to all over country, Cairo was the destination of AbuElyousr family, to whom alienation was a profit, on the contrary AbuElyousr got a flat in a wonderful district in town down, It was in a large house in farouk st., overlooking El-Attaba Square. Its rooms were large with a north side as well as overlooking a large street from one side and from the other inner side it confronted the neighboure,s flat…… residents welcomed them warmly. Abu-Elyousr had friends, and met them in the 2

cafĂŠ. Of them offered partnership with him in a bakery and pastries in the main street (Farouk st.). Matters went against his expectations as trade flourished, as if life and luck smiled to him, He led a happy life.

- His son Maged became in the prime of youth. He learned the Quran in Qutaab (2) of Elsheik Abdel-Zaher where kept by heart some Suras and loved recitation and listening to Quran as well as appreciating art and literature. Also he kept a lot of sophistic verse and national anthems, so he enjoyed artistic appreciation which made him adore Om kalthoom and Abdel-wahab. He remembered a film titled "the white Rose" and others of the past. He likes nights of entertainment, over days and years he knew the nighbours, daughter who he married soon. When the war ended in 1945, immigrants enchanted and expressed their happiness through Trills about the promising return to their towns. The Abu-Elyousr came back to the town and Maged returned with his wife, leaving behind their memories in Cairo. They continued their life on thick and thin, or good and bad. In that quiet coastal town, Abu-Elyousr bought a bakery which Maged ran well. ***

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(2) He who sees matters through mirrors of easiness, difficulties abrupt him in the worst of fates, so wise man ponders deeply in the face of hardships. *

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- Conflicts aroused between Maged and his wife, he didn't expect what he saw, he was extremely surprised. He thought that wife ,d be like his mother, this means she is warmth, Shadow and familiarity in home, inspiring life, giving existence brightness and optimism. They were different in most of life details. She became pregnant and suffered a lot in early monthes from pains of craving. It was less of a year in their marriage, until clashes between them aroused wherein they expressed their anger loudly and violently. He was in charge of "Gam,ia"(1) or collective money in which he shares some traders of the district. Vainly did he look for that money so he was made to say to his father: She has a sharp tongue… she is a thief.

- How is that, my son?

She insulted me and broke the wardrobe lock.

- That may be just suspicions, my son.

- No, my father… it's not doubt… she certainly stole the Gam,ia money when I blamed her, she gave aloud cry and asked for divorce.

- My son, I'm hard bitten by life!

- What do you mean my father?

-She is pregnant now, and an expectant mother… Do you realize what does it mean?

Due to that last clash, she left the house to her family in Cairo, he had no patience with the idea of settling the problem despite persistence of his father: he didn't forget about stealing the Gam,ia money and her sharply worded insults as uncrossable red line for any reasons… Monthes later

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Nader was the first child from his wife whom he divorced to stay with her family in Cairo.

- Maged lived in the Coastal town and life ship took its way. His broken heart accustomed to sadness, since then he thought that evil is the root of the world.

- Maged thought badly of marriage over those sad years, as well as all women according to him. He was afraid of involving in the same experience; however he married once again after the July revolution. It was shortly after his mother's death, by the way of a famous marriage matchmaker who she helped the elites of that coastal town in marriage.

When that marriage matchmaker spoke or smiled, her bright golden teeth of which she was proud of, appeared. Also she occasionally used to move her hands during speaking so as to show her bracelets as a sign of her social position.

- Maged 's happiness achieved when God gifted him Sadek, Mo,men and Leila, all of them born in that coastal town.

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(3) If the secret revealed, an unbeaten track appeared. It's unfamiliar one coming back to the origin as every track connects every step crosses, every route reaches to destination of hope *

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Maged used to tell his children a bout all he knows of events in the world as well as rares he experienced or heard of. He told them the story of immigration during the second world war and the large flat, he inhabited with his family in Elgeish st., which he told them it was once known for Farouk st., their grandpa hired it for two pounds and half a month, it was a high rent then. Maged said: "then your grandma was angry with your grandpa for that high rent, and she intrupted him for two weeks or nearly a month". She always said: "And how can we save fees of boys and the house?".

But your grandpa replied her kindly: "Oh, Bahya, God help us". Then he smiled and goes to work to avoid more clashes. *

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- Maged told them the story of the two soldiers who were sentenced to imprisonment. He was then the prison guard in a shift. He was keeping his eyes on them, sometimes one gets his head out of the small hole, look up keeping looking at the sky, contemplating its beauty, smiles, and keeps looking at the horizon, bright stars every evening, and the wonderful clouds which move slowly in a magnificent silence, He waits for the moon in its rise and fall every night. It pleases his heart, he sometimes enchants: Don't care a bout vicissitudes' of time And be satisfied with destiny.

Never be afraid of troubles of days, they are transient.

- As for the other, he was disappointed, when he gets his head of the hole, he look at the earth, concentrating his sight on its clay and dirt.

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He doesn't stop talking a bout greed, injustice, cruelty and theft. He insults all around him and condemns that hateful world.

- In guarding shift, Maged wonders such extreme difference of the two men's mood. He admired the optimism of the first, and said to his sons: "they learned me a lot although I never talked with them" - But that true story occurred immediately after the second world war when they started working in the bakery. Their grandpa, Haj AbuElyousr needs workers who he preferred to be from his village in Sharqia. It occasioned that three of them were farmers from a village in Menya ElKamh, who came for the first time to the town. They took a taxi in the company of a relative. The driver stops at every populated area to fill the bladder with water. He kept driving for long hours and when they were near the town, he took the route of El-Zaityat, leading to the governmental oil distillation factory, Egyptian – English shell co. limited, navy school, and old telephone posts, where maintenance and constructing lanches, fishing boat and yachts, near El-Borevag casino and Rex beach. As the taxi was coming near, their eyes moved, their head and parts of their shoulders came out the taxi windows, they were popping out, they had never wandered a lot through asphalt routes, how on earth is that what they see in an area full of factories?

They put on wool caps and gallabiyas, their eyes move around to watch landscapes, they see for the first time. As the taxi comes near to oil distillation factory, high chimneys appear, they know nothing about the town, the flame of the company appears and one of them said in aloud voice: stop here, ustta? (2) - The driver come close to a large iron gate, Men get off the taxi quickly, from the gate room, a Nubi big man got out whose gestures expressed anger and asked: 7

What can I do for you?

One of them replied in a question: - Where is Hajj Abu-Elyousr,s bakery?

The man smiled in denial: Abu Elyous,s bakery?

- Yes - The black guard replied carelessly: - Abu-Elyousr bakery isn't here!

- The man wanders looking at the high chimney which from the continuous flame comes out: - What a bout this chimney?

- It's of the company.

- Company… which company?

Oil co. shell company…

So! Where is Hajj Abu-Elyouser bakery?

- The black guard itched his front a little and his skin shined Due to the sun light reflection, saying: My dear, first get into the town, and ask there… *

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(4) - Once said:………

The one who finds justice if he was misjudged, and finds.

Straight fowardness despite zigzagging ways, How lucky who renews himself if he was torn out! *

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- Hajj Maged used – along ago - to visit his son Nader in Helmya in Cairo, although his ex-wife didn't welcome him properly, Maged described her saying: she is a careless woman: she leaves her son in the street all day long.

As challenge produces more persistence according to the Egyptian proverb, every time he felt annoyed, he legally no longer tries till the maternal care period ends, to get his son back, leaving all matters to providence of God. - Here after life currency of life occupied him, he was busy caring for his family, his was pleased of his sons, as well as being busy keeping his work, flourishing and growing despite challenges he faced everywhere. Although the years, Nader spent away from his father amongst his peers in Helmya in Sayda Zeinb district, benefited him a lot, they made him grow like a wild plant which doesn't get enough care, his mother got married to a carpenter who always keeps working till the evening in the workshop where he works, his mother begot five: three boys and two daughters, she was busy caring for her husband and new sons, so Nader felt he is a servant not as one of them.

- Sometimes his mother's husband was extremely cruel with him for a simple fault or just for suspicion and sometime to deter him for no reasons. He used to be cruel with Nader threatening him with a

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hammer or any piece of tools because he failed to learn the craft calling his a failed boy.

- All this depression was enough to make him selfish, careless who cares for nothing but his personal aptitudes, his desires thinking of himself only and give no attention to complaints, pains and sufferings of others.

- Nader grew up in Cairo, he got the primary school certificate after a lot of failure, he left the industrial school he joined unregretablly. He spent a lot of lime in low crafts, and rarely did he feel maternal tenderness because her husband had no patience with him especially when he became adult.

- Shortly before 1967 war, his mother urged him to travel to suez: Go there to work with your father, charity begins at home.

This proposal appealed to her husband who helped him travel: In Suzz you'll meet El-Rays Shaf,ey, my friend in childhood, he may provide you work, I know that there are a lot of work and profits in that town ‌ and gave him the address.

- He had a small handbag, in which his mother put his luggage, and she forgot not to put some sandwiches, he hardly put amongst clothes.

He left for the coastal town with his fellow in the down train which stopped at El-Arba,een station. He advised his fellow to get down in Suez. They saw the carriages stop, the Marina palace hotel, the English telegraph building, the ancient Blair hotel, ElNemsa street, Rawash CafĂŠ, San James shops and restaurant and a lot of other places, their relatives told them of a lot in years of immigration such as "lucandt Misr" , "the Suez Gulf hotel" Mecca Hotel and others.

They hired a room in one of poor pensions in which they spent one night. * 10

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The next day, his fellow accompanied him to "Blair Hotel". Nader told the receptionist that he wants to meet El-Rayis Tohamy of whom he heard stories as superstitious as legends. The waiter told them to wait in the lobby.

- The two young men looked around while waiting. There was no one but an old woman sitting on a stool behind them. Shortly after they saw a man getting down stairs towards them, he was tall, and wears a white trousers and a short sleeved jacket. Also he came near.

- The man welcomed them, introduced himself, the three sat on a table in food hall neighboring the lobby, they indulged talking a bout work and available opportunities, El-Tohamy advised them to work in the port saying: "Gold‌, Diamond Nader asked in wonder: Where?

In the port.

- El-Tohamy asked for the dinner, the waiter served them all delicious dishes‌ - Nader's eyes filled with a special bright when the waiter put Salad, beans and lobster of which he heard a lot in his mother husband's house‌ his tongue runs and his appetite grew a lot as if he hadn't had food for every long time. *

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- The three made for Port Tawfeek where El-Tohamy introduced them to one of his friends who works as goods extractor in the port, new and strange feelings abrupted Nader as if he were new born, every morning he faces new events and experience as if he were set free from prison or a chill kept in for years, this sense affirmed over time, while working he looks at huge ships the port and space around him, 11

he leaves his imagination uncontrollable with this new world and its wonders, trying to get to overseas, he felt implicit pleasure for discovering new life different from the life he used to lead. This in turn made him condemn his lost age, he didn't believe that he lived with that family especially his mother who abandoned him to care for her new life.

- He thought a lot to visit his father, he was always hesitant but his fellow urged him to do so. He kept the address written down in a small paper, he got out of his wallet which includes his money and identity card to which he added here after a license for getting into the port.

- Few weeks passed since he came to the town and in one of spring evenings, he accompanied his fellow to look for his father's house. *

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(5) - In the setback sad day (5th June 1967), Sadek Maged Abu-Elyouser was about to be full adult in the prep. School, when he saw a group of people listening to local broadcast, spread then in public squares in front of fire extinguishing building, he stood with them, the nooning sun was wonderful, its light penetrated outskirts of the town, the broadcaster said: "Oh Arab, we are about to invade tell Aviv…", He hurried back to tell his family. He went there with his brother "Mo'men" to be near to the microphone of local broadcast hanged high up on that building, people crowded to listen to Victory news, and with every phrase of the broadcaster, they applauded happily while keeping in touch eagerly with numbers of planes our army hit: " 80 planes…. 82…."

- Shortly after they heard people talking and whispering before they scattered, nearly two days later, some of them made for El-Mahta.. square, Sadek went with the in curiosity. *

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- In the train station, it seems that classical building whose ceiling is lean, and covered with Brick which near to, above the railways, there is an iron bridge for pedestrians, connects the two sides of the town or east and west wherein stores and old buildings, most of them made of wood or called "ElBaghdadly", dating back to 19th century, some of them were set up in colonization era in the eastern side in which there are Elnemsa square, taxi and carriages stop and old health office in the middle, on the corner of the western side there is an Indian Bazaar, near to Rawash restaurant as well as "Misr Palace" hotel on the other street "ElTahrir st." under which there is "Misr Bank", and the old "Blair" hotel on the other side.

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- There he saw some soldiers who came back from the "the front" in dirty torn uniforms, large numbers of them were covered with white colour representing in pieces of cotton and bandages or may be almost on them all, their figures didn't leave his memory as an adult who was about to be a youth, that white colour, he saw on their bodies, was really impressive, on a leg or a foot as a bandage or a thick cover of gibes on broken arms or legs of the soldiers who escaped death, and Also he saw some people crawling, dragging their inflated legs to sides of streets, they go and fro aimlessly, they seem tired, their clothes are dirty with fade colours, they look as if they were absent minded or unable to communicate with. The external world, most of them were extremely shocked, boxes move slowly containing stories. about the strangest and the most violent of sarcasm in life… in the open under the sun of Sinia with its large areas, its dunes, sands, mountains of different colours. In the day light and the night, they witnessed events of such Tragedy, the Israeil revenge wasn't that of manhood, the war a bused all laws and U.N resolutions, international treaties or any other human organizations… It was bloody revenge revealing in those broken spirits which came back with heavy burdens, full of a desire for revenge against savages committed against them.

Sadek came near to three soldiers talking with each other, one said in a low voice: "From the ditch I was in, I saw a group of the captive Egyptian soldiers and officers…. some officers were in disguise as soldiers…

Israeli soldier tied their hands… they fell to their faces on sands in extreme heat, they queued before an Israeli tank of santorion mark..

Then I hid in the ditch watching over them… I couldn't open my eyes, I just was listening their cries flew to the sky, mixing with the sound

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of their broken bones under wheels of the tank.. My body was chilling unconsciously. the other replied in a weak voice: "I'm so thirsty" Immediately Sadek hurried to neighbouring café to fetch bottles of water for the soldiers. *

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On hearing explosions or guns, Sadek used to come up to the roof secretly to watch what is going on the space, he raised his head to the sky towards a plane or a group of planes. In the day he recognized an attacking plane through the sounds which looked "repeating laughs" or according to Haj Maged "Trills".

Trills were heard until the plane disappeared. Sometimes he heard the sudden sound "Booom!" once or many up to see the evening, he comes up to see the endless space turning into panorama of mixing sudden colours in minutes which moves to one aim in the sky causing a discontinuous line of fires as well as distinguishing sounds of antiplanes… bullets.

- He wondered of war, he never felt afraid, as God always protects him. It was exceptional event when he saw the town illuminating at night, on the roof he directs his eyes towards tongues of flame escalating from oil companies direction, he asked his father, he was sure that projectiles of treason hit oil cisterns in its home land… oh my God! - Can we defend them, my father?

God helps us, Sadek, take care of your study now.

- It was a sleepless night…, in the morning he dressed in quickly and said to his father: - I'm going to get out, Dad. Where to?

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With mo'men to see what is going on…

- Don't be late!

- The two brothers walked by El-Suez sport club, near to chest diseases hospital, on the other said, few steps away, there are Elsuez public hospital and fever hospital.

- In the long route near to the land of navigation, they found a cylinder piece of iron, it drew their attention, Sadek stretched his hand to pick, it exploded abruptly, they fell to the ground unconsciously fell to the ground unconsciously, Mo'men saw blood where he injured up in his right leg, Sadek didn't feel pains, at once Mo'men took of his shirt to used as a bandage to stop blood, he supported his brother till they reached the nearby hospital in which the doctor felt satisfied as they came early, he warned them: Thanks t God, he came in time... or..

- Haj Maged who came in a hurry asked: "or what..?"

We'll be obliged to amputate this leg.

- Maged's face turned sad saying: Thanks to God… thanks to God. *

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- After the six days war, and shortly before Gamal Abdel-Nasser's star faded, in this hard time, immigration was the best solution, decided by empty town for war.

- Nights and days passed so slowly and reluctantly that people were sure that the Israle soldiers 'll go on nearby – on the eastern front of the Canal, as if they wouldn't leave easily. First Maged was determined not to leave, it didn't occur his mind he 'd leave his town and was a bout to be no man's land, sounds of cats and dogs are no longer heard as well as twitters of birds in the morning. Occasionally he looks from the roof, feeling sorry about seeing nothing to Diaspora, 16

at a distance he didn't see any passing ships as usual, He said to his son, Sadek while looking at the far horizon: "The enemy watch over us day and night, they aren't far, I can't imagine that! Our leaders deprived us of Sinia wherein there are no Egyptian soldier or lines of defense properly... now and our leaders too are deprived of Sinia" *

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- Less two months later, Sadek felt better, but the injury was deep in joint of thigh, on walking he depended on his healthy leg so he looked apparently somehow lame all his life long.

- Soon after that accident, Haj Maged decided to leave the town especially he had no hope that the military situation 'd end and the war might last for many weeks or months no one knows but God. He accompanied his parents and immigrated as the town seemed empty wherein nothing heard but barking of aimless dogs, cries of ravens and twitters of birds as usual in daybreak or night falling, he felt sadness burdned his heart due to defeat, immigration and his injury for which thanked God that he is still a live and kicking *

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(6) - In "Bani Suef", they joined the camp of immigrants in youth Forum, Hoj Maged felt sorrow and sadness, sometimes a sence of humiliation and disturbance attacks him became his son was subjected to the military service, them he didn't realized he 'd spend more than six years within which Nader visited his family few times numberated by fingers of one hand.

- Maged used to sit looking at the holly Quran he always kept beside reading sometimes in aloud voice, he adored melodious Sounds, pop besides his habit to listen to the holly Quran, sometimes in his free time chanted picces of "Awlad El-ARD" hand's song, he admird those verses: We collect our brothers' bones, sharpen them to make guns of, to achieve victory as apresent to Egypt‌ - He read in amagazine, he used to buy, verses of Amal Dunkl" (2) read: - Here I'm in the battle where swordsmen, arrows shotters and truffle can't stand.

- I was called to distinguish myself sin the battle field!

I'm who had never had meat of lamb I'm who was thought of as nameless and can do nothing, I'm who was dismissed from forum of youngmen, Now called for death, not to entertain, oh, the holly prophet woman, speak my blood shed on the dust.. and he sometimes enchanted found Nagem's songs, "the jew occupied Gaza and Sinia, and 'll be amongst us tomorrow,: Radios stuff our ears with speeches, and we dine verses, Thanks to God, we were hit under our armpits We are proud of our officer coming back from fire line!!!

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- Life in camps wasn't comfortable, where a lot of problems and unrests by overcrowdness in every thing, it 's an extreme mess according to Haj Maged, families and houses are no longer keep their secrets inside, but there were no families, voices entangled, all know secrets of all, a lot of things grew humiliated like people dignity, humiliation grow up, morals of crowdness spread, people become aimless, without hopes or dreams, people wanted to spend their dars without clashes not more, the best they hope is to get dinner at sunset, it was impossible for ahusband to make love with his wife unless he loses sense and abondons a lot of principles, people lead the life of leasts or animals or they are less position, all hope to escape by skin.

- Grandpa, Abu-Elyousr suffered from bronchial asthma crises, one evening he died, the next day at down, the family and "mourners" took a Nile boat to carry the corpse to the eastern bank, where tombs on which the sun rises every morning, at a distance dunes spread where in meadows of shrugs of cactus, they buried him and returned in the same boats. *

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- There was no time for sadness, Haj Maged tooked forward for a human life, he had a sum of money all he saved, at once he looked for a flat, he found one in patris lumomba st., the family moved to, Haj Maged a clmired that quiet district especially there was a lemon tree in front of the house.

- In his new flat, Haj Maged resumed listening to the radio in the morning as usual, besides reading Quran, some books, magazines and the daily Al-Ahram he used to buy. He begins with reciting the Quran and scanning the paper. He was happy with his Sadek who appreciates verse. In that morning he called Sadek before breakfast saying: Listen to the catastroph!

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Sadek replied astonishingly: Catastroph?

Yes, Nazar Qabany(3) sayes‌ - What does he sayes, Dad? - No surprise if we lose the war because we engage through nothing but talents of speech of the eastern man, and false bravery which killed no one even a fly, As we engage the war through logic of the drum and the Rababah (4)! *

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(7) - Days of immigration passed slowly, their minutes were reluctant, their hours were broken as if people were shot by a sour arrow of despair. The students' uprising achieved nothing or amentioned change, situations kept still, all people felt loss and unusefulness‌ the mist year (192) passed without achieving its promising aims. *

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- Shortly after the death of grandpa, Abu-Elyousr in 192, Sadek joined faculty of Engineering, his father was extremely happy, immediately in the following year, October war broke out, and crossing the canal achieved against all expectations, Maged felt he was new born, he saw life around him differently, people, birds, animals, walls, air and water dressed in new taste and colour, faces of people changed in his eyes, he over loved them, he got out his: voluntary house – arrest, filling with despair and depression, all in all the around views changed, he seemed as if he were a lover who ran into his beloved, suddenly at last long in despair and suffering, he had anew taste for life as if he came to the point of no return to that sour taste he felt in his throat which poisons his body and cause him to have no appetite for food, he had just a little to keep a live for doing his aluties not more!

- Haj Maged came out his room holding the radio in his hand with a wide smile on his mouth: It's incredible! We crossed the canal!

- Words came out of his mouth mixing with sugar and amber, he moved around the flat holding the transistor Radio as usual, he got into the kitchen saying to his wife: Salvation grew nearer: *

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- Despair overwhelmed a large number of immigrants, some thought that the mist year uttered by president Sadat means that Egypt won't engage the war, Most of them didn't believe that their return to their towns, properties, places of childhood and memories of boyhood, 'll be so easy in their life long. The dream became true when Sadat decided to engage the war suddenly which followed by problem of "the gap" and negotiation of "lol" kilo, then the decision of immigrants return and reopening the suez canal for navigation.

- Shortly after the war, conditions weren't suitable enough for people to return to and settle in the canal towns, but despite perils all around, papers declared what was immigrants hoped, a bout their near return, since then smile didn't leave Haj Maged's face, he exchanged visits, his house became full of guests, people prepared themselves for return, such decision made large numbers of them hasten for return, they love the town, history, old pictures associating their spirits, tiny details, memories, streets and roads‌ that panorama which represented life, a life they left unwillingly. *

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- People were eager to return to their town all possible ways, they hurried to travel even above cars, trains, lorries and trucks, those same means of transport in which they immigrated before.

- A lot of people felt so eager to the decision of return, some of them left behind memories, relatives and dear friends, their souls were full of happiness, their hearts were full to the extreme with dreams and wonderful hopes to restore the past in aspiration of the lost entity, return to settlement, desire to come back to that innative sense – felt by many of them – of lost humanity. Whatever damage they saw and experienced, they still remember their strive in that period like the student who don't forget his efforts in studying and learning lessons, 22

he remember that happily despite tiring and efforts he made to get a degree, even if he wasn't excellent.

- When houses, streets, lanes, they dreamt of coming back to friends, trade, profits, and their usual activities, then large numbers of fishermen felt extreme longing for memories of work in ehich they asen-ted for days and weeks in the sea.

- The government provided free transportation for immigrants, most of them returned to their town carrying every possible pieces of furniture, releasing the state from the burden of resorting to foreign experience houses others preferred not to return as they had permanent job, in addition, their sons joined schools in cities they immigrated to.

- The Abu-Elyousr returned, Maged used to his sons hat it wasn't the first immigration, but the family immigrated once before during the second world war in his youth. *

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- Haj Maged met his neighbour, ElRays Gamal in El-Arba'een district.

The two men stood together, mixing the future dreams with contradicting memories of immigration in which sufferings played integral part, different according every one's luck, some suffered a lot, most of them hadn't a governmental job or in the public sector, large numbers were completely neglected without attention or care of any one, Maged said: - It's astrange thing, Rays Gamal, so far I can't believe we returned to our town after seven years' absence!

- Gamal replied: Dry seven years, Haj - Maged sighed: I swear, Sadat is peerless, I admire him long ago!

- Gamal said: 23

So do I, the 3 was a surprise to all - We felt disappointed of engaging a war, but when it came true, our conditions changed and began to improve‌ - Gamal replied confidently: - We are in 1975, papers declares resorting to foreign experience houses in designing and reconstructing of the canal towns‌ - Sadat affirmed that in his speech, especially the English experience house or the French, but which one Egypt 'd choose if the matter provided to European big companies!

- For sure those companies 'd cancel the old map of narrow streets in width and length.

- Replacing them a high standard new town‌ It seemed we dream!

- Maged replied: Dreams aren't ours!

- Budget wasn't sufficient due to the war, Haj. - A lot of dreams kept still - El-Rays Gamal wondered: Were you in the town during the reconstruction, Haj. - Maged's gestures changed as if he were bitten by an insect and said: Sure, to whom could I leave my properties? The house and the bakery were to be reconstructed.

- Ad what did you do, Haj Maged?

- I was in the town during the reconstruction, I collected craftsmen from cafes for that reason.

- Was it easy?

- I paid them a lot to agree to work with me, it was a hard time, all people wonted to finish their works any way, either it was reconstruction or demolish, so contractors and craftsmen needed to be

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given a lot of money, it meant if you didn't pay, no one gave you attention!

- El-Rays Gamal smiled and said: - Was there business during the reconstruction, Haj? - Certainly and properly, for example the one lorry carried, say, ten times and the contractor recorded twenty, I prayed El-eshaa to lock the door tightly, then I had lunch and sleep, after the down prayer's, I got out with workers, that lasted more than two monthes and I was a lone, He who wanted to finsh, had to pay and follow‌ the light and water were off for most time. Sometimes I felt frightened but I always kept the Quran in my hand, I opened the window and recited in a loud voice, I suffered a lot to finish.

- What was wrong with the house, Haj? A projectile rammed its roof, but thanks to God, it caused a hole and the balcony destroyed, the projectile broke into my wife's room.

- Was there any thing wrong with your sons?

- How generous God is and his providence, clothes' hang-up broke, the wardrobe was wided open, its doors flow a way, I looked at the ground to find the grind pot hand twisted as a very flexiplematerial, however the projeotite was of no effect !

- What after: - Nothing else we reported Corps of Engineers , the took the projectile and stopped its effect. *

25

*

*

(8) - Fuss of life is just useless nonsense, and all its business is insignificances spread in a space of nihilism, So let matters in the hand of fates, And don't get out of satisfaction and obedience. *

*

*

- Reconstruction stretched to include part of the desert, north west of the town and new building increased, little by little – those buildings became overcrowded, but people clashed with each other to get them, they became of high prices according to brokers, although they were previously considered remote areas, unpreferable for people who couldn't imagine departing their town to resort to or inhabit them, especially they knew that those new districts such as faisal or ElSabah, became their permanent residence or might be the last.

- At the beginning of resonstuction, king faisal donated setting up the district name after his at his own expense, it was supposed that the district 'd be gifted to the immigrant who returned, providing that those flats 'd be full furnished. But it didn't come true, so towns people released jokes and rares a bout those dreams and fantasies: - At the beginning people were reluctant to move to those new towns, as they didn't use to be far away from their old buildings and places wherein they grew up and lived in the town by the sea.

- Here after El-Sabah district which named after price of Kuwait, was set up, and wherein the government cared for establishing Medical centers, markets, post offices and a forum for youngmen. *

*

*

- Sadek graduated in faculty of engineering in 1977 with a very good estimation.

26

- Despite this obvious defect in his walk, as asomehow lame, he was healthy enough to move feel happy and proud in that period, he was optimistic-link most youngmen- of a bright future.

- He wasn't recruited due to such injury, he left for Cairo accompanied by his parents, good wishes, all way leng, he thought of the future, he was pleased and satisfied with his destiny.

- In the Truck, he looked at the wide desert, pleasing with such areas and their stretch as well as the amazing sun light as if he saw for the first time, his eyes stretched to "El-Galalaa" mountain, and Chain of "Ataka" mountains, overlooking over there and their many colours besides wonderfull reflections of light which throw attractive shadows, through the movement, he tooked at those extending lands which look silent and supplicant, he heard nothing but the sound of engine, mixing with a low standard song whose roar came through the casse he every now and again, he occupied himself with the desert, he saw military units scattering nearby the road or extending deep into the desert, he was pleased with such magnificent extension and those amazing spaces which are full of blessings waiting for coming generations who weren't born yet.

- It was autumn so when he arrived at the Cabinet Office, he felt hot, drops of sweat fell as if they were cold wash on his body, he said to his God: "How 'll my destiny be determined?"

- Two superior officials in the ministry distribute newly graduates, he knew that their decisions are more authorized than these of the minister himself: - He said to himself: "let matters to luck, only if you are of the previlliged or the elites, you 'll achieve your goal certainly, otherwise you can do nothing but satisfying with your fate". Sadek investigated 27

the distribution boards on walls, he knew he 'd work in his town, he thanked God, those days he realized that most graduates were reluctant to go to a town wherein cansequences of war, damage, dogs and rats were still roaming all around, while raven fly in its sky.

- He decided to spend that night in Cairo to go to the Cinema, in the evening, all Cinemas seemed to be semi-empty, although they showed anumber of Arabic films containing erotic sexual scenes, but crowds of viewers turned their back to them, to follow eagerly another scene not less impressive than all films shown in the Cinema then.

- On his way, he saw-in aneighbouring cafÊ – agioup of workers watching T.V, without uttering a word, it seemed they were busy following an important event, he had a look at T.V it was an Egyptian plan landing on the Israeli "Bin Gorion" airport, at 8 p.m on Saturday 19th. Nov. 1977, viewers all over the world kept their breath over whelmed by surprise, few seconds later, the plane opened, bright lights concentrated on up the escalator, at all lights attracted to president "Sadat" who confidently came down to the airport on the long red carpet, he put his hand in that of "Ifriam catser", the Israeli president who welcomed him with the state officials, music played, and 21bullets were shot, saluting the unexpectant visitor. *

28

*

*

(9) - He who realized the essence of natures, he 'll be guided to the way to satisfaction, through which he 'll achieve justice that lead to sound judgement. *

*

*

- In the acclminstration building, in that coastal town, Maher – the office boy – served a cup of coffee to Sadek the newly appointed engineer. In his simple furnished room, there were an old salon, wooden cupboard on which there was no coloured T.V. T.V was on but no one cared for watching. On the front desk, there was a young adminstrial clerk wearing ajeans and T-shirt. A good looking, slim secretary entered to speak with Sadek in a quiet voice, he nodded saying: Let them wait a bit, Shrouk Well done, Bash Mohands, She smiled to Maher saying: - Whrer is your cold water?

Maher fetched water, the young man said to Sadek: - Do you know, Bash Mohands, that Maher is the worker in charge of the post delivery?

It seems he is really "clever"!!

Samy – the young clerk – continued: - Yes, he enjoys a lot of different skills, and can – accrding to them – run matters well, in the morning we see him punching in, then he prepares tea and other drinks, in a good way he exposes his goods which he fetches from port said or Kantra to sell them in installment to his fellows, so often they come around his goods when comes back carrying different purchasings, woman are his habitual customers, they often buy the underwear (linguries), furnishing, crews sleep kitchen 29

requirements such as pot, cups, marriage necessities, besides electric sets of different kinds, according to supply and demand, his work often ends with delivering the post to return the next day" - At the end of every month, he stands in the salary queu to collect installments from his indebted fellows, keeping a small notebook in one hand and pen kobia in the other to put marks on the paid installments, then he put pen kobia by his ear till he settles his accounts free from uncertainties…. Maher offered a T.V set to Maher provided that he could pay back when his financial matters improve.

When Maher returns to his flat, he rented in El-Heisha area and which was in the third floor, in which he installed a telephone to be used for commercial purposes by connected it to the kiosok wherein he exchanges shift with his wife. Maher said that could hardly get alicense to locate it on the side of his house.

- Maher's commercial activities got through the adminstrtion building extending to his neighbours and people of surrounding areas…

Samy went on saying: - Maher is a natural phenomenon or a product of a society whose identity hasn't been determined yet!!

- Sadek had a little of his coffee and said: Tell me about yourself, Samy.

He smiled saying: I'm an employee in personnal department, I'm from upper Egypt. So you are atribesman, you are in favour of triblism.

- No, I'm not in favour of… I see it some kind of ignorance, however it makes favours for people…

- People, Do you mean those of district or those of the Tribe?

- Supposedly both of them, Do you know Zaki Waesel?

- No 30

- He is our fellow, he is from the farthest upper Egypt, he is an active member in a Tribal association. *

*

*

- While they were talking, Maher entered carrying atray on which there were two glasses of cold water, which around drops of vapor condensed forming amist suggesting his due care and the value of cold water in such hot day of Augutus and its extreme heat.

- Maher told his two fellows a story caused them to feel terrified,…

He was lying on his bed late at night, He couldn't sleep, he lit acigeratte, in is dark room through which a flash of light from streets posts could hardly get in… It was shortly before the dawn when he heard voices and knocking outside, which evoked his attention, he opened the balceny swiftly and gave an attentive ear to the voice, he made sure it was from under the house in which he resides the third floor… He knew that one of the shops, was broken into for robbery at that moment, he hurried to the telephone to report the rescue police… the man in night shift asked for his name and address, then…

What's wrong with you, sir?

- I want to report atheft.

- Is it in your house?

- No… at the neighbours' - I advise you to go to bed, it 's better!

- What about the theft?

- It isn't of your business - How come? It 's a shop under my house…

- It doesn't concern you…

- Terrible, how do you say so?

- As long as it out of the frying pan into the fire.

- Catastroph! My kiosok on the street side may be the next turn.

31

- Was it broken into?

- I reported because I'm afraid of theft.

The shift man cried saying reluctantly: Go to bed, don't make troubles. *

*

*

- Years passed in the admistration building. Employees were busy watching October celebration on T.V, 1981, president Sadat wore his military uniform, put on sun glasses, suddenly they heard fuss and strange sound, there were hustle and bustle, they cried, kept their breath, transmission discontinued for seconds, the president was killed. *

32

*

*

(10) If people see all what is beautiful, they recognize ugliness clearly *

*

*

- Nader used to travel to Cairo accasionally, he may have amessage or a sum of dollars from ElRays Tohmy to his wife who live with her two daughters, Gamila and fadila whom Nader saw sometimes, his visits to El-Tohamy's house repeated, over time, he established a good relation with them- Mis Mahasen used to call him in.

- Nader used to smile to the elder daughter, Gamila with whome had atight relation. Also he used to buy presents for El-Tohamy's family.

Gamila's education ended on getting a commercial diploma certificate, He was warmly welcomed from the mother and her daughter, his in turn encouraged Nader, over time, to propose marriage of Gamila. At first El-Tohamy refused such proposal, but due to his wife persistence, he was forced to accept, he couldn't stand against the will of his wife and daughter. Finally he assured himself saying: that's God choice. *

*

*

- Mrs Mahasen talked with Nader about fadila who gives due care to education, Nader said: - I know amarriage proposal for her, Mahasen smiled and asked: - Is it serious, Nader?

- He replied confidently: - Sure - Who is that man?attractive catch, a surprise.

- Who‌.?

- Sadek - Who is Sadek‌.?

- My brother.

33

- You 've never talked about‌ - In fact he is ahalf brother.

- What is his job?

- Engineer.

- Engineer,? Bechlore of Engineering?

- Yes..

- Did you talk with, him about marriage?

- No, but I'm sure he 'd admire fadila - Mahasen became satisfied with Nader's practical sense he plays well on cords, besides – according to her – his ability to make money, and who always brings presents to his wife Gamila.

- Mahasen didn't feel reluctant of his lound voice, sharp tongue and rough treatment, besides his false laughter, and shameful jokes he tell as if he finted! *

34

*

*

(11) People are hearts full of happiness, careless steps, dancing and making fun and rush to generous feasts, climbing stairs of nights of wonderful spring, through wide – open eyes fascinated by bright light, when they embrace each other. *

*

*

- When Samy saw Sadek coming to his office, and his face shined bright, feeling optimism and pleasure saying: I found it !

- Samy wondered: who is she?

The wife, the she – fellow…

- Who is that lucky woman?

- You don't know her.

- Does she work here?

- No, she doesn't work.

- Is she your relative?

Somehow, she is my brother's wife's sister - Do you have amarried brother?

- Yes, Nader - But tell me, Did you see her?

- I Travelled to Cairo and saw her, she has deep beautifly eyes, she has an intelligent look realizing what I want at the first sight.

- Did she satisfy you?

- Yes, she is a university graduate - Does she love you?

- Certainly, Nader told me that her mother welcomes me.

Anyhow, congratulations. *

35

*

*

- When Sadek's work settled, his father, Haj Maged wanted to crown such happiness by marriage. He married Fadila El-Tohamy who is anewly university graduate. The new couple rented aflat in El-Haj Abu-Elsaad Farhat 's new block for 150 L.E amonth. *

*

*

- Haj Abu-El-saad is popular with suez townspeople, he is self – made man. He established a tribal association which is one the first of those racial ones. He came to suez from the farthest upper Egypt, Qena governorate, before 1967. He enjoyed an instinvtive intelligence, brilliance and adventure as well as his brave decisive character, he could determine the place in which he 'd spend his coming future, in El-Geesh street on the Cairo road, he choose to settle on fringes of reconstruction in El-Mothdath area, wherein land was of a very low price then. He liked his work, he had an impressive character, he did different kinds of work, first of which was on a carriage, till he built a house on a plot of land, he could accupy. He went on working industriously to became one of the town 's distinguished contractors. - He liked people and they liked him. He always sat in a humble room might be called an office under his house in which one might find an old desk and two chairs, outside, on the road said, there was an old soft lined with hay, and tea pot, those small cups representing the upper Egyptians hospitality to whom go and fro from Kafr El-Nagar and El-Arab, to the main road ] El-Geesh street[ leading to the town down or north to Cairo. The place was always accupied by the upper Egyptians and people of different interests. In the time of elections, there was an important place for supporting one of the candidates in terms of racial origins regardless to his proficiency or political attitudes which weren't nearly mentioned. Due to his industrious trials, his continuous movements, and sympathy with people, he could 36

achieve adistinguishing position in business affairs, good reputation and people 's love. He gave a hand to the town officials especially the director of administration who was a friend of him and used to sit on the old Sofa to drink tea with him before holding such important post. *

*

*

- In that hospitable town called "Balad El-Gareeb"(1), there are kinds of people who aggrandize their racial belonging, there are the upper Egyptians from the south and people of the north, the upper Egyptians are still proud to the core of their Tribal origin and ever revive, when those associations were authorized to embrace all who belongs such villages, tribes or even towns, the well – to – do donated a lot and that in made them a subject of envy and competition in every thing beginning with choice the location and area, designing and structure to services provided fer members. That competition wasn't in public but it was deeply felt. *

*

*

- El-Brahma, El-Mahasna, and El-Ashraf were of first associations which after a lot of them were formed gradually, such as El-Gor'an, people of keft, people of Abnoud, tahta, Mosha, El-Kalaheen, Assuit, Suhag, and "Aswan" whose members came from the far south, as well as other different associations in terms of races of Egypt, like "people of Sharqia, Garbia, and people of El-Wahat which were authorized by social affairs administration.

- Every association adopted social activities such as branch of social occasions hall, or a small mosque and sports ones like tennis table.

The social occasions hall was often used for funerals. Rarely was there alibrary. People frequently donated for those activities, especially the well – to – do. The aged used to meet there, instead of going to cafes, for entertainment and chatting. In winter they sat in the garden so as to 37

bask. They sometimes chatted, or kept silent for minutes to be attracted spits, and click his fingers suddenly to one who atnkhm Those meetings were intimate and favourable and when people heard calling for prayers, they went supplicantly and calmly. *

*

*

- Haj Abu-Saad was aneighbour of the Abu-Elyousrs, his block is on the side of the street in the main road leading to ElGeesh st., The big sum for the flat rent was 8 ashock to Haj Maged, who then said to his son: - I didn't accur my mind that you 'd inhabit out of my house.

But there no empty flats in ours.

- Sometimes I regret laking decisions when prices were low.

What 's up, father? It is not your fault.

- How do you say so while the sum you pay for rent is over the whole ours, one!! It was better to keep a flat empty for you, not to be rent for one!

- Prices increase for all people, dad - So I promise to buy you all electric sets as apresent, including Najaf and Alabalak - Sadek thanked his father and kissed his hand. *

38

*

*

(12) People's conditions grow better while mine are getting worse It seems thst the whole matter and the main reason can be attributed misunderstanding flooded my mind, all is aproduct of auile, wicked mind. *

*

*

- In that period, bakery wasn't profitable, expenditures were sometimes over incomes, the government employees – inspectors and revisor – used to check stores and bakeries to make sure of integrity of products and examining specifications, as well as tax officers and health employees, but all of them gave no care to such problem, what matters is how they come back at the end of day with pockets stuffed with brobes, that pleases them and make their faces brighten! *

*

*

- In a sad morning, an inspector sat, looking to Haj Maged: Bread isn't well peapared.

- What can we do, the flour we receive from the government isn't good, it 's black, how can we make it into white?

- Also, the loaf is 2 Grams decrease.

- 2 Grams, what a surprise?

- Yes. He put the loaf on the scales and said: - Look!

- Maged replied astonishing: - The rest of bread is accurately weighed.

- I mean this loaf.

- He took the loaf and put into a small sac after stamping it.

- Maged found himself accusee and must pay 5000 L.E as affine, and 3 monthes imprisonment. Also the bakery was enclosed and stamped by red wax.

39

*

*

*

- Maged unwillingly a large sum of money to Fawzy El-Gergawy the most well known lawyer in the town, who could davoid the imprisonment and the judge affirmed the fine not more, the lawyer said: - Haj Maged, you look a kind man - It 's O.K - The lawyer smiled and said: - All people are beadwinner.

- Nothing done! We have a lot of bread in the bakery!

- I mean, try to satisify him before taking legal procedures.

- What do you mean?

- Bribe him, he has an itching Palm, what do you say?

- Maged pondered saying: - I swear, I walk the chalk line - He may pretext anything‌ cleanliness, appointments, fire extinguishers, health certificate, workers' social insurance. And so on.

God protect us.

- Maged left the lawyer's office feeling disappointed. *

40

*

*

(13) You retreat and give concessions to the ill – spirited, willingly, consciously as you see matters well! *

*

*

- Mrs Mahasen, the bride's mother, is a white skinned woman, who adore cronies, parks, and shopping, her treatment affects Sadek badly.. she came to visit her doughter who suffered craving in early monthes of pregnancy. Sadek came back to find his mother in law in the sitting room, wearing a short tight dress, exposing her white fat knees, before a small table on which there were a plate of fruit and a crystal ash tray.

He saw a cigeratte "light kent" in her left hand. It disturbed him, he gave a smile as if he gave no a ttention: - Welcome my mother in aw.

He shook hands while she was still sitting coldly, it was a cold welcome.

- Sadek ignored such unsuitable bahaviour and asked her about ElTohamy, his father in law. She smoked in adeep breath giving it out in Sadek's face intentionally, she said ironically in aclear high pitch: - He is in the sea, I think he turned into a fish, a long ago.

- Sadek gave afalse smile for complment and said: - I know he works on a "cargo" ship - He remembered me to you in the last call.

- Thanks, My God protect him.

- What about you, Sadek?

- It 's all o.k, thanks to God. - She had a little coffee and asked, looking at him: - I know you intend to buy a car.

- He looked at his wife, saying: - Just a dream I talked with Fadila about.

41

- I said to my self, how can I buy a car? Be realistic, stop dreaming We are to satisify with our luck, but dreams are important, my mother in law.

- She rejected saying: - Do you want to cut down your house fees, to buy a car?

- Fadila came near to put more fruits. She got into the conversation, but seemed depressed: - I don't believe in luck - Why do you say so?

- When I was a young girl, it happened that an old intimate relative waman who examined my cup of coffee of dark colour all around, she moved the cup and said to me: - You are envious dark hearted one, but she didn't go on‌Sadek said jokingly: - How did she know the unseen?

- She looked back to the cup moving right and left, she seemed irritable, and Sadek felt as usual that he was trapped, her fac turned sad suddenly, saying: - Do you believe in such superstitions?

- He kept smiling and said: - Sometimes. *

42

*

*

(14) No mercy on earth, Man is destinied to face all kinds of humiliations either he settles down or flies to the sky. *

*

*

- His wife, Fadila El-Tohamy begot Salma whose gestures were like those of her mother, Sadek was at home, and after the bady 's first week party, his mother in law said - I want to advise you, Sadek.

- I'm all ears, my mother in law.

- You are to increase your income - What do you suggest?

- From the neighbouring room, Fadila replied: - We hope to have a large flat, how nice if it overlooks the sea!

- His mother in law looked at him angrily: - What do my "suggestions" mean?

- God distributes earnings with the utmost accuracy.

- Fadila was to marry the one who realizes her qualities!

- How on earth is that!

- Mahasen replied decisively and must travel abroad.

- After Fadila begot Salma, God gifted her two boys, Magdy and Shukry, Sadek used to thank God for his generosity and unlimited blessings: - As son grew old, their demand increased. At Early 1980s, Sadek 's alary was less than 100L.E when he was newly appointed, he saw hard bitten by life people to whom he gave what can help them from his little pounds, he was dutible especially his work gave him the approtunity to know a lot of kinds of people, he was tender especially

43

with those who weren't previlrged and powerless, he didn't appreciate people materialistically, he didn't care for loss or profit.

In fact he didn't experience feelings of the needy practically unless his new circumstances put him in more than adilema so he felt them strongly and deeply.

-vFadila didn't stop complaints which became a daily routine of her marital treatments. She persisted that he should look for another source for earning his life so as to satisfy her demands and keep up with time. Also she persisted that our son should join private education. She was wasteful in away never known to her family or her husband's.

- She persisted that all her demands should be satisfied, she had to weap or cross against her husband if he didn't so even it was over his financial capacity, her complaints varied so matters grew worse, Sadek had to run in debts, prices increased more than one time, and when people wondered, they were given a ready answer: the dollar value increase is the main reason. *

*

*

- During signing post correspondences, he was talking with Shrouk who he tended to consult, and let her in his own secrets, but she always didn't know about whome he was talking, one day he said to her: - I have a friend whose mother in law always interferes in his own life, - what can he do, Shrouk?

- Shrouk gives a pure smile saying: - Is her husband alive and kicking?

- Alive as if he were dead!

- How come?!

44

- Yes but he is nearly absent, and even he comes back, he is a man of straw!

- I'll advise him to look for a bridegroom for her!

- He didn't give up thanking God who guides him and keeping him in a good health to go on doing his message in life in the hope that it helps him hn the day of judgement, he tried to get ride of that depression occurring him every now and again. *

*

*

- Mahasen urged her daughter Fadila to make troubles to Sadek who was always out of mood. She persisted that they should move to another flat to achieve the dream, her mother dreamt about, provided that the new flat should be the very high block which was being set up in towndown, he said: - Our financials can't stand as you know.

- She replied reluctantly: - When can we do so, God 's willing?

- God helps us - She said angrily: - I have no patience, do something, ask for your father's help, he wealthy, and he is supposed to help you.

- You always against me to extremes as if we are right and left‌ nonsense, we should let the out of box, you always persistent‌ what do you want?

- After a little silence, she said: - You know well that I want a new flat.

- Despite all those disturbances he suffered, he always stood by people on thick and thin even those who he didn't know, it was so impressive, and sooner he became popular with people in the district or rather father in all sides of such town.

45

*

*

* ( 15)

You are to know and insight limits of things to escape from perils! *

*

*

- Situations that disturbed Sadek recurred as if were sauss penetrating his bones and seemed to put an end to his marital life entirely, he didn't like complaints and was about to feel humiliation and severe embarssment if he let people into his house secrets.

- Thinking of his sons made him forget about himself, he sacrificed to create a quiet environment, a way from suffering, covered with mercy on which paradise dirds settle down‌ he wonders and feels sad a lot about his wife 's strange behaviours, although he has good intentions to others.

- Hardly had he put his head on the pillow till cares played with his mind, a lot of whims, things of the far past and little pleasures which he tries hard not to forget to give his life a taste and justification for his existence, he loved them a lot, but it turned into something like reluctance or hateful separation whish never occurred his mind, separation from life and people, sometimes he fett a psycho sparation that likes death and a loss of meaning of his life, he always tries to avoid people so that his conditions can improve, and get out of such devilish circle surrounding him, he was about to lose his solidarity and balance with others due to those sorrowful events that seemed a daily routine, he felt that is a leak might penetrate his beloved town‌ his town that he feels occasionally it's meaningless or a town of ghosts without colours, taste and smell‌ he persuaded himself of death of relation so as to revive his desive in life, he didn't care about useless matters, them he rethinks: what does this denying ignorant look mean 46

after he satisfied a lot of demands to the house? He kept patient for years to gain a tender gratitude look makes him feel that he planted and has the right to harvest‌ harvest love tender, warmth and loyalty, those thing aren't paid for and given only through normal people.

Sorrowful he found nothing at long last, it is mirage, he felt a lump in the throat and heart tightedness, on looking at his sons, he forgets about facts, ignoring all his misfortune so as to please them, or at least to look in a suitable appearance, he tried to realize what 's wrong, he may be mistaken really‌ why not? His words may be sharp, he decided on his behalf to change his way of talking with her and to look acceptable, but in vain!! Over time his dreams came came to nothing, she soon showers him with her cold words which awaken him, once again he tries to forget, to stand on his legs, to face burdens of life, he decided to consider her a dead person, he asked himself: is it my penality?, in return to what I do, my life, my money and my efforts, I got not even a lovely look or gratitude, I do not worth marrying her according to ssher mother, it is unfair! *

47

*

*

(16) Peaks and dells stand on one root, and ringing of sound harmonize in echo. *

*

*

- Traveling abroad is an idea appealing to young men, a lot of graduates traveled when they had a chance, Sadek wanted to experience travel although his love to his families, street, the sea and town he adores from his deep heart, He had to look for work contract due to familial persistence and economic pressures, his feelings oscilliated between his love to his contry and fear of the unknown.

Although he saw that a lot of colleagues felt uncomfortable in their country, and soon to look for a contract abroad, they sent him letters from the Gulf or the Suadi Arabia telling about their unimaginative salaries, it didn't attract him, he didn't look for a contract as his colleague graduates, he discarded the idea of travel out of his life, the town fascinated him to the core, he felt disappointed of seeing ugliness spreading in its roads, he never imagined that it is the reward of the tired immigrants, rubbish piled up, he looked at the sky and trees a lot and especially when he come near to port tawfeek district, he saw ravens which the town has never seen, roads are Jammed with cars and carriages, noise and flies are all around, bumps grew on, drainage leaked, every now and again he stumbled in a lake out of such drainage of hateful known smell.

- Fadila persisted occasionally that he should look for a contract in one of the Gulf countries like his fellows. Espite his love to the town and his deep belief in his country and its blessings, and conditions 'll be better in the near future especially when his father's financials improves, and pays back his debts which are burdens on his shoulders due to fines, he paid silently and patiently.

48

*

*

*

- Sadek said in his office: - I want to live in my country without resorting to 'll-sourced money!

Samy commented: - Satisfaction in inexhaustible treasure - I know that well, but….

But I know your conditions, so I know a good approtunity for you - How is that?

- A chance for travel, I hope it 'll be yours!

- Sadek asked: - What is it?

- An advertisement in Al-Ahram for engineers in Qatar.

- God wills, what advantages?

- Sure a lot and encouraging, I wish I were an engineer!

- What are they, by the way?

- A lot… you 'll get a familial furnished habitat, health insurance annual paid holiday sides free tickets and annual increase in salary.

- Samy unfolded the paper on the office saying: - Look….

- Sadek looked well and said: - Great… pleasing - I hope you let not the chance out of your hand as you did before!

- Well done, God's willing. *

49

*

*

(17) - for nothing but my innoncent childish dreams - I gave an ear to lies and belived them - I raised my boyish hand to supplicate for hearts as hard as iron. *

*

*

- He hurried to the appointment of the interview due to his severe conditions, and to get information about such matters, his wife was happy and insisted that she should go with him, he wasn't interested in travel, but he agreed as if he takes a sore unappreciable medicine.

- He traveled to Cairo, he looked in El-Mohandseen for the address, he found a large street in which there is a middle pavement separting the road into two. When he reached his destination, he saw crowds of people around the Embassy building, a lot of people crowded in the narrow middle pavement.

- He asked one of them‌.: - Has the test begun?

- The man replied carelessly while looking at someone elso: - It seems so.

- Are there seats in the embassy for those people?

- Are you a cairene?

- No I'm from Alex.

- Oh, did you come for the advertisement?

- Where do you work?

- Quality consultant in ministry of industry.

- But consultonts aren't required in the advertisement, they need only engineers.

- I know that.

- And they don't require "quality" as I think

50

Know, I'll accept to work as engineer, our country is no longer a place to live in!! *

*

*

- Crows of engineer sat on the pavement, no one was allowed into the cembassy without permission, shortly after a policeman came to tell crowds to move to other side so as to keep them away from the embassy building, one of them said: - How humiliating‌.!!

- The policeman replied coldly: - It 's not my business, I obay instrctions.

- One said: - You get us away, you should serve us water instead!

- How poor! But I obey instructions - Don't you know I came from Assuit?

- One of them said loudly while removing sweats by a torn out paper handkerchief: - Tell us truly, if the matter ready prepared, we 'd better come back to release ourselves and you too, from the burden of waiting and the hot sun.

- Two hours late, crowd grew a lot on the pavement and the street in which traffic currency looked impossible, some slept on the pavered their head with a wet handkerchief or papers to protect themselves from heat of the sun. It was unpleasant view, then Sadek decided not to put himself in a critical situation and come back to his town at once.

- He said to his wife: - I can't stant with these insignifanance any more!

- Those people are still waiting.

- Are you more respectable than them?

51

- He stopped silent reluctantly. *

*

*

- After a short time, the embaeey opened a small parrallal door, and soon the police soldier attacked the entrance less than two minutes later within which about one or two hundred people got into the embassy so soldiers tried to stop that human currency, which made Sadek remember the Chinese expression "the bare clerks", but felt in that shameful situation that engineers are not only "bare" but also they are "naked"!! *

*

*

- He became so exhausted and heavy sweat ran over his forehead, so he hurried to look for any means of transport to return.

- His wife had to follow him and kept on uttering sharp words of rejection. Hardly had crossed the road on foot when they woved to a taxi to escape from noise, crowd, dirt and unbearable heat and the smost important to get away with that shameful situation. The taxi arrived at the beginning of the publicroad overlooking a large square, which they found closed and large numbers of soldiers standing in rows on both sides, sticking to each other, looking at the passerby, turning their backs to the road, Sadek one of them: - What's up? Why is the road closed?

- The soldier replied reluctantly while sweat covers his face: - El-Mo'lem is coming?

- El-Mo'lem, Do you mean the president in person? Ask anyone elso‌ we aren't allowed to speak‌ - Shortly after it became very hot, sweat grew and the road was very crowded with cars and people, Sadek asked a pedestrian: - Is there aforeign guest?

- It 's said that he is a black visitor. From Afrikia. (1) 52

- Poor people who can do nothing, they are influential!

- He was angry but he left despair a said, he is accustomed to a lot of depression, he wasn't to expect more a shame ful situation than the one he experienced in the embassy today and which faces those who look for earn their lives legally however the price is!!

- He and his wife waited for about half an hour, they took a taxi among a lot of different means of transport till the procession passed, at last they moved, the road was opened, Sadek felt unconmfortable on hearing the driver saying in a clear sadness: - "what 's wrong with that country?" *

53

*

*

(18) - War is a bad omen, terror penetrating hearts of people with aknife, it 's not the choice of the wise‌ - Mahasen is always talkative, she like by nature hot problems either in a dialogue or an idea occurs her mind without a certain reason but for change which ever accompanies her life, now she spends her husband's money wastefully to show that she is a wealthy one in her new flat in Heliopolis, she always goes shopping from clothes gallaries, shopping fascinates her mind, her husband usually comes to Cairo for only a week as if he were a guest, he spends three monthes in the sea, and every time he gives her a lot of dollars, it 's attractive sum which she takes without any sign of gratitude or a friendly look, She always receives money and presents, she examines them well as if she looks at bad goods, coldly and impolitely he sometimes thanks God she didn't reject sharply. *

*

*

- In summer, mahasen visits that coastal town many times, she was unappreciable guest to her daughter's husband who bears patiently without uttering a word. One day they sat around lunch which included fried mullet and squid, lobster and Abu Jlambo she asked for particularly, besides kinds of salad, then they had dessert, after they finished she lit a cigeratte as usual, she began to clean her teeth with small penetretors, smoke came up in waves to the ceiling.

- She looked at him directly, saying: - I obsereved that you don't eat salad.

- How? - It wasn't on the table - I think it is not a daily dish - You may forget buying cucumber, don't you, Sadek?

54

- My mother in law, you may mean something elso, isn't it?

- No, but Fadila says you don't buy cucumber and crescent.

- I'll do next time - She smoked another cigeratte from her nice box, Sadek as usuall and quikly lit it by a golden lighter, she smoked in a deep breath and said: Importantly‌ what about your family?

- Well, thanks to God - What did you father do?

- About what?

- Concerning helping you - He promised me a sum of money when matters get better, to gave as a token for buying a car.

- Mahasen replied astonishingly and annoyingly: - Once again!!

- What do you mean, my mother in law?

- She smoked deeply and said: - If you can't buy a new flat, at least repaint that one!!

- Repaint?

- Yes paint's prices are getting so high over time But it's not a suitable time, and the flat was repainted less than two year, it is still good!

- Don't object, stop insignificances you are always against me, how come! It 's just for objection not more - No, my mother in law, but it 's too much, I can't subject to you all the time - He looked at his wife saying a loud angry voice: - Do you hear your mother, lady?

- Why don't you speak?

- Fadila didn't answer him back, he continued: 55

- So you agree all these nonsenses. *

56

*

*

(19) My shores' horizons are above the endless, But storm are violent blasts revolving for ever, All harvest benefits, and I'm the only who get nothing. *

*

*

- Fadila suffered concurrent pains in a certain spot in her left leg besides wounds, dermatitis and blisters sididips under the knees.

- In a hot evening in August, Mahasen traveled to visit her daughter in the beautiful coastal town, she sat wearing "robe de champer", a cigeratte in her hand as usual, and a cup of coffee of crushed beans known through its smell, served by Sadek. After eating the "Kabab" (2), she asked for, and which he boughtly willingly despite his financial crisis, she said to him: - Listen! You must over care your wife.

- What do you mean, my mother in law?

- What I told you - I do my best towards her, we made analyses and rays and found nothing wrong so far.

- She said: - I'm worried, she 'll go to me to Cairo to see senior doctors.

- I don't mind, but fees may be a stumbling block.

- I'll pay as a loan.

- Sadek agreed gratefully although he hates her arrogant way of speech besides being stingy which isn't in a line with her wastefulness in her private life on trivial matters, it 's unbelievable not to spend on her daughter! How can she feel relaxed? She may spend forceably temprorly to ask for repay heveafter like shilook in shakespare's "Merchant of Venice"!! who asked for apiece of the clebtee flesh.

Sadek was sure a boutthat, she may do so to annoy him in person 57

because he is always obstinate to her commands and instructions, she offers day and night. *

58

*

*

(20) You 'd better keep quiet and silent so that your qualities can be estimates, be in line with nature all your life long *

*

*

- Circumstances became sorrowful, especially due to travel attempt after which he felt sad and disappointed, a lot of experience affected him badly, his interest in observing human behaviours helped him sometimes absorb crises, he was able to stand against or react to in the same way without resorting to a nalyizing and contemplating.

- He economic opening culture? It 's a gangue culture which can't push us forward or develop our life. Sometimes one may ask you a question which needs deep thinking so as not to be in a critical situation a specially he smiles and cares for nothing but his personal problem, and can't realize that it is not a time for long dialogue, then he says: - Oh! Basha Mohands, did you forget soon?

- He comptemently says: - How dare I do that? Your face is familiar to me!!

- The man says courgeausly: - I'm Zakaria‌. Zakaria El-Aboucly, Did you remember how you helped me a lot in the restoration decision a long time ago, aren't you?

Sadek replies: - For sure.

- But it a was a long time ago.

- How long‌?

- About six monthes or two years, little after you were nominated.

- But I was nominated six years ago - How come!!

- Do you remember such problem, Bash Mohands.

- I don't think so 59

- Oh! You forgot it soon.. It was about elimination of the house in Kafr ElNajar.

- How long was it built?

- Nearly 63 years - I promise I'll see - A projectile crashed into in the time of Israeli aggression..

- Did you make a minutes?

- I have no good memory..

- Where is the decision?

Certainly lost - How are you?

- Thanks to God, the coulour of paints Fadel, sometimes I feel ill 'll come down - Sadek looks at him admiring his intelligence, the man expresses himself clearly. Sadek tries hard to behave mindfully and consciously, so he wants to go a way with, saying: - Try to forget about - May I ask a question?

- With pleasure - My sister's son wants to build a plot of land.

- Congratulation in advance.

- How can I help him?

- Sadek gave a sarcastic smile saying: - Look for a contractor! *

*

*

- The governorate administration set out a search compaign on shops to demolish illegal buildings so that matters. Can go normally and people can move easily and naturally.

60

- In the administration building, an a get woman who came a very now and sweets to employees, asking for metting Sadek, she said to him: Did you forget your promise, Basha Hohands?

- What…?

- My son 'll come to you tomorrow in the hope that you may help him, he ears a living for a lot of children - He replied: - Don't worry, what is his name?

- Ragab, the poor Ragab… *

*

*

- In the following morning, when Sadek was putting on to prepare himself for work, his home telephone rang suddenly, he answered back: - Hello, who is speaking?

- It 's Ragab..

- You are welcome, but who is Ragab?

- Ragab, about whom, my mother told..

- Ok, who is the woman?

- Oh! Basha Mahands, haven't you rememberd?

- Sorry, I can't - She said she told you…

- Oh! Yes. - I'll came to the administration fifeteen minutes later..

- You are welcome.

- Good Bye. - That call made him wonder, he put handset down. *

*

- The fine is exhausting, Basha Mohands.

- What fine?

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*

- Protrusions and pavement works and Altenda - What do you do, Ragab?

- I have a carpentary workshop in craftsmen buildings You are welcome - When Ragab frnished his specch, he put a flatten envelope on the office, Sadek soon realized his intention, and saying decisively: - What a bad man, take your envelope, Ragab preplaxed, took it and left the office, he pop out and said to Sadek in denial: - He seems to be abnormal! *

62

*

*

(21) The confident steps are about to stumble, then the longing man's jumps are about to retreat, and the sovereign are about to callapse in humiliation. *

*

*

- Fadila spent a long time revisiting doctors in Cairo, sadek had to leave his work to know results of analyses and rays needed, he didn't object to his mother in law who speaks proudly recently out of feeling that she is the upper hand, in Cairo they distributed their movements through El-Falky square, El-Tahrir square and Nasr city, Sadek's debts grew, he saw clinics of different tastes and forms which he has never seen, some of them run soft music, others are so occupied that people crowd in a narrow place, half of them keep waiting their turns on stairs, he felt astonished of very high fees which aqual multiplications of doctors' fees in his quiet town. *

*

*

- One day, a doctor who is puffy checks, sitting on his huge office, said as if he gave advice to Mahasen: - Your daughter doesn't fit marriage intercourse, Madam Mahasen replied exclaiming: - What do you mean, doctor?

- He said: She can't do marital legal duties - What can we do?

- Let her have rest a way from her husband Mahasen looked as if she waited on pins and needly for such reply. *

*

*

- Two or three monthes later of revisiting clinics, nothing persuaded Fadila but keeping her daughter a way from her hasband so that her 63

health can get worse, although some doctors didn't a dvice so, the puffy checks one was the only to affirm that possibility which Mahasen was waiting eagerly, she believed his wards that echoes in her ears for along time. *

64

*

*

(22) - Life always give itself to those are retuctant to care about rynning its conditions, but those who go against instinct, it 'll be obstinate to them, and every thing 'll go against their will. *

*

*

- His mind was every busy thinking of events of day and night, He felt heavy sweat and sudden chill, he said to himself: learn how to have arrest after exhaust, try to learn calmness and stillness, they are rare and dear and which through you can transpires the prettiest meanings of life, penetrating its secrets, this is not easy and for the cheap.

- Adapt yourself not to bow before life difficulties, you must be like deep rooted trees, not like a weak mursary plant which can be uprooted easily, know that your power in different situation is that you mustn't be nervous.

- How can he feel the taste do life unless he is productive?

This idea caused him unrests in a time he felt as if his body was deteriorating and collapsing, he looked as if he deep in a deep valley or falls down in a well of no bottom, he gradually felt reluctant in life as if he departs from that deteriorating body… his mind echoes saying of the day and its amazing events, complaints echo in his ears and situations for which he can't solve… once upon time there were…

How can a fat woman be alully one or how can an old woman walks as if she were a pretty ypung one… what days! *

*

*

- Money, the license… the money for the license.

- I want to build two floors more, Basha, 20.000 L.E in a bag Take your money, God protects me from that illegal profit.

- Who is not ashamed to do what he pleases * 65

*

*

- He asked: what your name?

- So and so - Little later he returns to affirm his complaint: - What do you want?

- To cancel the minutes - In the police station *

*

*

- The manager asked for you?

- What does he want?

- He want to transfer you?

- Where to?

- The Garage - He may mean someome elso, I didn't demand so. *

*

*

- Where is Mahar?

- He went to buy to sacs of chipsi for the manager. *

*

*

- He felt a severe headache, his temperature want up, his wife called a doctor when realized it got worse, he and his temperatyre was still high. The doctor said that suffers a fever, he soon put cold bandges, installed solutions, antibiotic injections, and fever reducersm time passed slowly, little later Sadek moved his lips saying in whisper: - Thanks to God ‌ what 's wrong?

- The doctor reassured him, his forhead brightened due to drops of sweat, he felt a chill and cold, he asked for a heavy blanket and shrank in his bed till his temperature decreased gradually, the doctor ordered them to switch off lights, and went out after Sadek got and stopped raving. * 66

*

*

(23) Those whose manners are bad, always proud and arrogant so good manners disown them, because the who obey his desires, all he does is nonsense and useless. *

*

*

- The doctor's advice to keep her daughter a way from her husband, still resonances in her ears, and what made matters worse is that last situation which due to, she decided with her own after leaving for Cairo – to revenge for herself concerning what she regarded as apersonal insult, although Sadek didn't object her and began to look for a contiact abroad, he can't – despite her flagrant interference in his private life – keep himself decisively a way from his mother in law whose reactions are always the opposite.

- As for revenge, she tried to keep her daughter and sons away from Sadek as a kind of punishment, she said to Fadila: - How dare you husband answer me back? He is a penniless?

- He felt that you insulted him, mum!

- I'll give him a lesson not to be forgetton.

- Keep quiet, mum - Nothing done? You 'll lead aluxorious life a way from such poverty, even temporily - Fadila used to obey her mother *

*

*

- It occasioned that Sadek traveled to attend a training course for three days in the light of a telegraph message to the administration, it was in a building belong to ministry of housing and reconstruction in Cairo, at the same time, his father Maged Abu-Elyousr made for port said to

67

buy some Cars' used spare parts, he needs to his work, and which he can't do without. *

*

*

- Meanwhile Mahasen agreed secretly with goods transport office over goverorates to transport containings of her daughter's flat to another one she rented in Cairo for that purpose, she told her husband to acknowledge him not more, and he was in a line with her as usual, he decided a long time ago not to clash with her or rather to surrender, he wanted to spend his holiday calmly so as to get a way with her insults and sharp tongue, he always said: "It doesn't worth‌.. I agree, I don't mind" Worker continued going up and down in Haj Abu-Elsaad 's block of flat to transport furniture which Mahasen hired two carpenter to deconstruct, chandeliers and alablaks from walls and ceilings, neighbours exclaimed and got out of their flats to watch what is going on, some tried to explore matters, but no one answered them back, giving them the deaf ear!

- People felt sorry about the matter, every thing was done in the absence of Sadek, the carpenter who wanted to end the conversation, said to them: The flat owner 'll refurnish it. *

68

*

*

(24) The mindful heart doesn't go ostray, so he achieve his goats, his desives are committed to right deeds, so he doesn't feel happy about benefits and sad about loss. *

*

*

- In the third day evening, he finished his training course to come back to his city, the sky was cloudy but there was a passing cold breeze, Sadek was eager to his house to enjoy warmth and comfort after he spent three exhausting days in Cairo, he brought some bakeries and eweets appealing to his sons, when came near to the flat door, he rang the bell, no one opened, he whistled as usual and waited‌ - He looked for the key in his pocket and opened the door, he was so surprised, he looked the flat around, he felt terrified, he didn't believe his eyes, he felt a strange emptiness, suspicions attacked his heart and soul, he went out to check the flat number, it 's mine, he saw the yafit on which his name is written down "Mohands Sadek Maged AbuElyousr" he pressed the electric button, but the corridor didn't lighten, he looked at the ceiling to find no electric pulb, he popped out at every thing, almost there was nothing but paintings and his son's squiggles on the wall and the door, he wasn't drunk or mistaken, his eyes moved around the hall, it was empty, he didn't find the sofa on which he used to relax when came back, he got into the kitchen to find it empty, he hurried in terror to the bedroom to find nothing but a pile on the floor, he looked carefully and felt dizzy, he found his clothes, inc-luding undwears, trousers, shirts and the wedding suit which she still keeps, all on the floor in one said of the room‌his towls, Bijams scattered some shoes, slippers are here and their.

69

- He felt sad about chandeliers and abalaks which his father gave as a present, also he felt disappointed when he saw electric wires removed from the ceiling directly, they didn't even leave wire.

- There was even no pulb left to lighten, the night fell in the flat, he finally got out astonishingly, he can't even hold his legs, he doesn't know where to go. It first occurred his mind to go his father's house, but what can he tell them?

- they may ask him fer the reason made him visit them shortly after he came back from Cairo, for sure his parents won't stop asking, he thought of spending the night in a hotel, but what 'll he do here after?

And how matters 'll go? Finally he made up his mind to go to his father's house. *

*

*

- His parents felt astonished of the furniture sudden disappearance from the flat, first Sadek didn't intend to let them in the problem, but out of their persistence, Sadek accompanied his father to let him see what happened in the flat‌ - Near the house, Sadek greeted a passerby who he introduced to his father: - Mr Ahmed‌ my neighbour - You are welcome‌ - Ahmed asked Sadek: - What did you decide?

- Nothing.

- Will we forget about such behaviour?

- Sadek replied in amazement: - No.. No..

- Maged looked Ahmed and asked: - Did you witness what happened?

70

- My wife told me that the furniture was carried on a big larry. *

*

*

- On seeing the flat empty all around, Maged asked his son in whisper: Did you do anything wrong?

- No..

- Did you insult Fadila or beat her?

- No, my father.

- Them, what 's up? Have people changed? *

71

*

*

(25) He who wants to have all the world in his hand, is adisappointed one.

He who thinks that the world according to his will, 'll go asteay.

The world is a compelling king dom abstinate to nonsenses of desires *

*

*

- Authoritarianism and inferiority blinded Mahasen who insisted that her daughter she be divorced, when El-Tohamy come back for holiday, she told his decisively how he 'll do his to travel to Sadek to demand him to divorce Fadila because she won't return to him again, also she ordered him to achieve his mission as soon as possible A though he rejects such abnormal demand from his heart depth especially Fadila has sons, which in turn makes matters worse, he tried to discourage his wife but she persisted saying: - Be careful, Tohamy, if you don't do what I ordered, I 'll set you to the utmost torture!!

- He replied in a low voice: - O.K, you 'll carry the burden, he continued: and so do I *

*

*

- Maged traveled to settle the matter with Fadila whose mother always tops the scene, she frawned her face saying: - My daughter must take care of her health, Haj, you son doesn't raise to the occasion, it 's a cut and dry matter!

- What do you exactly mean?

- What I said‌ - Does Fadila have the same opinion?

- Fadila moved the room curtain saying: Your attempts 'll come to nothing, the last word is for my mother. * 72

*

*

(26) East and hardship replace each other like height and minors. *

*

*

- Sadek arrived at his work, sat on his office, he felt exhausted a lthough he didn't do any efforts, but his eyelids didn't close a'' the night long, miss Shrouk met him with a smile as if she shot an arrow to his heart, she put a pile of pqpers saying: Good morning.

- He have a short reply good morning - what 's with you, Basha Mohands?

- He looked asked exhausted and obsent mind, saying: - Nothing - She broadmanned keeping her smile: - An Arab man asked about you.

- Despite despair resulted from his familial problems besides societal ones which made his face always frawn, he gave a false smile saying: - An Arab or English?

- A man puts on agallabiya as white as milk, his head is covered with a red towl and headband.

- Sadek smiled of such description saying: - Red towl, you mean "Ghutra" - I don't know, anyhow he is from an Arab country, he told me to deliver you this card.

- Sadek looked at the card and read: - "Hamdan Al-Thebety", businessman, please call me, phone no‌.. *

73

*

*

(27) The wise is who purifies his heart from selfihness, He wants what people like He is always generous with all, either they are vile or good natured He keeps such qualities so that his deeds become well known to people *

*

*

- He wondered of destinies which reshape our lives matters, in many and adapt ourselves to its will.

- He thought that it 's wise to be in harmony with life currency, he was sure that occasion is the product of a well known fate, and the word "occasion" is not found in the dictionary of life, the life which we do our best to decode its symbols and mysteries.

- In administration, he had to finish some long and dull procedures which may stand against his travel or cancel the idea as a whole forcebelly due to red tape we meet accasionally, one of clerk told him to finish such procedures in personnal department, and Sadek asked: - What have I to do?

- First the work contract must be auihorized by the suadi conselate and Egyptian foreign affairs ministry.

- Then‌ what?

- We you come back I'll tell the rest of procedures - They seem to be long!!

- Not very long but every procedure can be done by the employee in charge.

- He laughed deep of his heart on hearing the word "in charge" *

74

*

*

- He made for Cairo to finish such procedures, taking a sum of money for the owner of travel agency, which is the rest of what was agreed on the contract delivery, and went together to embassy of Pakistan Sadek wondered: I'll travel to the suadi Arabia not to pakstan - The travel agency owner smiled and said: Understood, but it seems that policy doesn't appeal to you.

- Why‌..?

- The man replied: Currently there is a department to care for the suadi interests in the Embassy of bakistan because there is a tension of the suadi – Egyptian relations especially to "Camp David" impact.

- But "Camp David" was in 1978 and it 's 1986 now.

By the way, take care, there is an article is contract banning talking about policy.

- Sadek replied: - Unbelievable. *

75

*

*

(28) No mercy on earth, Man is destinied to face all kinds of humiliations either he settles down or flies to the sky. *

*

*

- Despite signing and aythorizing the contiact, Sadek felt ash in the throat, actions and things seemed useless, he was extremely in despair, he tried to escape depression, he suffered for a long time, his friendship with Samy and care for his work helped him a lot forget about cares and urests which controlled him over, Shrouk 's tender smile was a palsm protecting him from his daily usual depression.

- When he went to Nazeeh, the clerk in personnal department to finish procedures of leaving work, he thought it 's an easy procedure, The clerk laughed in his sleeves and gave a cop of the from which Sadek scanned, saying: - How on earth is that! What are all these?

- The man gave a canning look saying: - Oh, Basha, it is simple.

- Sadek realized that he had to finish leaving work from which he already but, then he was to given a certificate affirming that from all the administration departments such as store rooms, penals department, the library and 80 on‌ - One of old mates said on seeing him preplaxing: - Why don't you give Nazeeh this form to finish.

- He replied: - I thought it 's easy.

76

- He returned to his office busy minded, he wasn't to think that the administrative system is unable to create a better way for employees' treatments and fasciliating their procedures, or the state with all its approtus, is really too weak to reach to a flexible system for the citizens who waste their time to finish procedures in the governmental adminstrations‌ he always believes in the ablity of the administrative approtus to solve such dilemma, but it may be due to suspicions about the citizen which caused the brilliant to create such laws and disciplines which ensure puncture and tying ropes and tightening them well on the waist of the citizens so as not fedget right or left and always keep thanking their lords and praising them, but once again he abandoned those idea, saying to himself": It 's more likely that Nazeeh Abdel-Atty still dominates and control the interests of people – but he may find amazing enjoyment in doing so or he can't feel his authority unless he become sure that those who ask for adminatraive services are as passive obedients as lambs. *

*

*

- Shrouk came to Sadek's office holding a book in her hand, he looked at her wondering: - About what is this book?

- I loved poetry in my childhood, and this a play by Salah Abdelsabour.

- Who elso do you like to read?

- El-moutanbu, El-Bouhutry, Shawky, Ahmed Abdel-Mo'ty Hegazy and Nazar qabani(1).

- Great, you are an intellectual one, Shrouk!

- I just try to enjoy some of your qualities, - No, but some of my father's qualities.

- Your father?

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- Yes. - What does your father do, Basha Mohands - My father? He may be a business man, free business, a great bakeries owner, who people can't do without! So you are a poetess, it 's so clean.

- Shrouk smiled and asked: - When I entered, I felt you have cares, don't you?

- He kept silent a little, his eyes moved around saying: - Right you are - May I ask you about the reason?

- Nothing, I just think of how to finish travel procedures.

- She looked at his eyes trying to investigate the truth and wondered: - Do you really intend to travel, Basha Mohands?

- To keep devils away and earn a living…

- Devils!

- Yes, human de he smiled adding quickly: - Do you the verse praising travel?

- What is that?

- Travel, you may make up for those you see off, Sweet life can't be achieved but through hard work.

- If water doesn't run, it spoils, if it keeps running, it 's drinkable and vice versa ( 2).

- She continued: - My father ever quoted such line when one of us was to travel…. By the way, I ask once again…

- What annoys you?

- Do you really care about me?

- She looked at his eyes as if she tride to extract a meaning saying: - I think so, we are work colleagues.

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- Sadek replied in despair: - Procedures kill the citizen, I mean we are of no value in such a country.

- In short, what about your papers, Bash Mohands?

- It 's up to Nazeeh Afandi (3). It may take a long time.

Shrouk relied: - You can bribe him!!

- Those words struck Sadek and went deep into his mind. *

*

*

- Next day, he put a sum of money in his pocket for Nazeeh Afandi who said – pointing his finger to his eyes – on seeing him off the room: - I can't let you down, I'm at your disposal!

- Sadek replied in a weak voice although he was absent minded, he wasn't to expect so: - Thanks a lot.

- Sadek noticed that numbers of the clerks may be more than the public in some adminstrations, he remembered the quarrel he saw one day, he heard loud voices, and when he came up stairs to the offices, he heard sharply worded insults and showing the middle finger, then he finally knew that quarrel between two clerks for a chair, It was just one chair for them!!!! *

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*

- In aside room, some employees women put the kettle upon the electric heater connecting to a thick wire to a plug in the wall, on an exhausting office covered by papers, there were Ta'mia(4), girlled eggplant, chips of fried potato, and alarge plate of picklings in the middle, beside which one of them was crushing by teeth leaves of green oinion, causing a remarkable sound, while three or four who share the 79

meal, were all around, a view which made him feel so ashamed that he retreated, especially when one of them who stuffed his mouth with food, said: - Help yourself.

- Thank you.

- Then he left the room while the view kept still in his mind. *

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(29) He who distinguishes himself, 11win, Ad shame up who fell in humiliation, leaving no shadow or influence, the end either a win or a loss is as frightening as destiny or fate *

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- After a series of long runs in different departments, Nazeeh accomplished the mission which pleased Sadek, he felt that God sustained him to finish such procedures which he can't stand finishing on his own, he certainly remembered to send those papers to the governorate secretary, to be stamped by official seals, as one of little last procedures‌ No matter to go another one!!

- Sadek made for Cairo to introduce paper to the travel agency owner, who asked for another certificate.

- Sadek asked: - What is it?

- It is the one to certify you suffer from no diseases.

- Sadek retured to his town to get such certificate, he ran into one of his colleagues who said: - Did you come back for the certificate?

- Yes! Authorities here aren't entailed to give it, you had to get, in Cairo.

I thought it 's easier to get here.

- But the suadi Arabi authorities acknowledge only a group of hospitals in Cairo.

- Will I have to travel to Cairo again?the most important is to have enough money‌ you know they are private hospitals. My dear.

- Why is it limited to private hospitals?

- His colleague looked at him care lessy saying: 81

- God only know‌ our city is still regarded as a small village in which administrative authorities are limited so far.

- It means we are to travel to Cairo for every thing?

- It may be because they trust in Cairo 's administrative authourities or it 's unknown reason!! *

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(30) - Cosmos with its earth and heaven exists for ever, it is not an end for its own it 's eternal, so are the wise who have a supreme or divine position who mathematize and adapt themselves to modesty, they lead simple life, as life pleasures in their own, weren't the best they hope, Don't you see that austerity and Altruism lead man to apposition are supreme than selfish interests.

- Shortly before travel, the travel agent said to him: Other three men 'll be with you on the same flight, to the same Guarantor, and a special driver 'll meet you at king Adel-Aziz airport, holding a small white flag so that you can recognize him easily.

His heart filled of unprecedent enthusiaism for Travel, he leved the town than ever, he felt deep desive to visit the town which he adoved, he was eager to his childhood, memories that coloured all his life, and place in which he grew up, the town of love despite the events that misted his hesrt 's mirror, as a young man, but made him reluctant in life.

- He wasn't to believe that one day rejected or opposed to such idea – the idea of travel, now he really believes in the saying reads: "travel entails seven profits", how did he forget about that idea? At least he 'll have a chance to rearrange his papers and be atittle away to explore the truth "And hoping that you dislike a thing which is good for you", he said to himself: "I hated travel and departure, but what profits can I earn? I must be ready face my fate, it 's God 's will, I can't determine my destiny, he remembered the holy "He thought and how much killing as" he was told that he 'd see a clean country, not as he head or heard about in his childhood, it 's no longer a large desert on which the very hot sun shines and wherein no grass or pastures, it 's a nomadic desert where people put tents here and there, find pastures for their 83

goats and leave for places wherein the well, the pasture and expectant rain… No life has changed, Sadek the Arab advanced thank to the call of Arahim, the prophet, oil attracts all, Does it lie behind such luck?

Although he reject in the begining, he adored it and found himself trying hard, I'll travel to see Mecca and Madina, he remembered how patient he was with people and his sufferings for misjudging them, their hatred for the right, I'll see spiritual lights of my beloved, Mohamed, my he give me his spiritual gift or his divine hand give me water which due to I never feel no thirsty here after… He remembered the holy tradition reads: "I'm the city of knowledge and Ali is its gate"… this tradition inspired his imagination and made him wonder if he could one day go around such large and holy city in Ali Bin AbyTalb despite all his supermancy, spiritual position and value, is just a gate for it…!!

- Some idea occurred his mind, the man said you'll go to the same Guarantor not to the same work place.. what does it mean?

- He didn't know the answer until certain time. *

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(31) Be like a runway of a small river at the bottom of high mountains, your qualities 'll be divine for ever, and return to an everlasting purification of your pure birth, to have a heart as pure as that of an infant. *

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- Early in the morning, moments of his departure began in a climax wave of feelings‌ he longed for visiting "seedy El-Gharib" (1), his fears grew up when he remembered that he 'll leave this town little later, that city which runs in his vessels like blood, and which he the core and addicted to as a drunk.

- The town before October war, wasn't as large as it is now, he remembered seedy El-Gharib, the hero and the ligh house, who gave it the fame name, the town of the stranger, who doesn't feel he is a stranger as soon as he arrives in it, it 's said that pious man who continued defending it and water pumped up by God's providence from a well near to his Shrine so the militants could drink during the siege after 1973 war.

- At the mosque entrance he saw a marble plate dating back to 320 H., reads: "Ibrahim bin Mohamed bin Jacob bin Ibrahim bin Amar, who was sent

by Abdul-Allah El-mahdy, the founder of Fatimata caliphate in Moroce, to El-qalzim,(2) to reopen the route of El-Haj, which was closed by Karamita (3) who stole the Black stone "from the holy Qa'ba, he confronted them in a war to the knife in which he a martyr, and the route was opened‌ All ancient families in the town have names signifying that they are foreigners such as the El-Ghadwys" from Ghada, the "Okdas" from Moroco, the Zahrans from Al-Gharia and the El-Askrys "from Turkey"‌., they settled down in it and it 85

became the road of Hajij from all over Egypt, north Africa countries and Moroco, so it is regarded as a pivot in which the Est African mettes the west Asian" - Before sun rise he departed his town to take the plane, his father and his sister insisted that they should see him off, in a car which his younger brother Mo'men drove.

- In the way he remembered scattering events of his life and memories of his childhood before 1967 war… in flashes which through he restored such landmarks, he may be destined not to see once again.

He remembered the town's large streets… El-Geish st., leading – at its end – to port Tawfeek district where the south entrance to the Canal and its famous port, and north and west to the road to Cairo,… ElGalla st,. which is in a line with the sea, over looking El-Nafoura" park and square and the governorate building… At some matars a way, to the left, he remembered "Rex" casino and the beach stretching behind it holding the same name – Rex beach – he remembered his childish joy when he competed his peers in collecting the largest number of chills "Ghandufly", the beach was know for, he was about to forget faces of his friends as ayoung boy, because they are a part out of life conditions and immigration all over countries and about whom he know little. *

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- The father the passer by from Rex beach, water surface began to disappear and the near he is to the old Salakhana and the navy school and the cazik devoted for making and repairing ships.

- Salah Naseem strrt crossed the city by the sea where old shell buildings appear, whose wall is attached to shell co., which turned into El-Naser oil co. after nationalization, and oil cooperative association, then El-Suez co. for petrol, then a long with the beach you see oil and 86

mining faculty, villas of governmental oil distillation lab., there appears the attractive water surface on seeing old cabinon cabinets which were a familial resort for townspeople a long ago. Oil spots floating on the water surface in the beach which became remains, affected his heart badly, he didn't believe that we are going to the hell, where are entertainment nights on that familial beach, the cabinon?

When he wandered there after the war, he saw the place dull and quiet, without utilities wherein two or three families not more, were staying in the cabinon after coming back from immigration‌ his chose was about to stuck to the ground and dirted by block of mud mixed with viscous black oil and ships wastes thrown by waves to the beach He wondered: "why were factories so near and occupied the attractive coastal line stretching at the gulf adge to the farthest point in the town? Didn't they think to plan for two hundreds or even one hundred year a head? Is it possible to do that now? *

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- To the left of Salah Naseen road, he saw El-Zaryr" area wherein before june war, a factory for buttons, near which "youth hostels" were constructed during Abdul-Nasr reign and which we can see so far, a little bit there is El-Nasr oil co. club with its magnificent architecture and the iron wall with its beautiful green colour, which through its holes, the club entrance appear and its stairs leading to the brightening glass door on which lights reflected, and breezing air through its holes.

As a young boy he used stay before it for moments with his friend "'rf" whose father works for shell co. those green and well coordinated gardens fascinated his heart a lot, on seeing flowers of different colours and its charming smell spreading to the space, and which please souls and eyes, different kinds of palm trees, short and high, similar or variant, stand in geometric form in public parks amongst 87

which there is green grass of different and distinguishing smells, and which the gardener always keeps leveling and pruning by advice giving a disting uishing sound all day long.

- At the left, there are play grounds surrounded by gardens, and there are on the corridor side, a mosque and blocks of flats for superior employes in the company such as managers and engineers.

- On the road stretching at eye sight, beyond the club wall, there is – on the same direction – Misr oil co., and oil pipes, beyond which buildings for workers of factories, a little bit there are ice factory and El-Suez station for thermal powers, behind which on the same direction, there is El-Suez company for fertilizers as a huge industrial castle set up by Aboud Basha, and cravet co. for paper, sponsored by Tala'at Harb, the founder of the Egyptian aconomy, then we see a modern castle which is "Ataka electicity station… the road goes a long to "Attka" and "ADAbia" reaching El-Ain Elsokhna".

- He felt that there are treasures in the town, haven't they been discovered yet? Or have they been stolen? *

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- Oh! What an old district, it's El-Arba'een" which is a main landmark of the town, over looking directly El-Geesh st., to Cairo, in a line with the railway coming from port tawfeek, crossing the town in length, to penetrate the large desert to reach Cairo. Al-Arba'een" is still populated by the original people besides new comers from different governorates as it was before 1967 war, who came to earn a living or to ascape from backwardness of severe poverty especially those from the farthest upper Egypt, as well as the very hot weather and lack of job approtunities, which made them immigrate to the north, but the most important is that they escaped from revenge which was not long ago so common…….his father told him that his ancestors are from 88

upper Egypt, and that his grandpa came with his family as an infant at the breast, they settled in the town to assure earning a living, besides less expenditures of life which helped settlement, but the most amusing – it 's unlike upper Egypt has a fine weather nearly all year long. The new comer keeps living on bread and butter so as to save for his family in upper Egypt, to buy some kerats or build a house in the new settlement, Also they used – when adapted to the town and wanted to settle in – to occupy a plot of land which known as "the state property", to build on habitually, then they began procedures of reconciliation with authorities in charge and matters keep still, and the is to pay a little sum of money for exploiting the land which became his own property years later, but it still badly planned and the reconciliation is done only when the state feels such perils… this primitive way of occupying land and building lasted long, occurring hundred but thousands times, creating deformation of the public view inside and problems of installing utilities to such casualties or haphazard areas. *

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- He imagined Salma, his young daughter when she wakes up in sleepy eyes, to know that her father 'll travel, she is not a six years old yet, also he imagined that his parents waking up to see him off and embracing him, to be absented for a time God only know how long it is.

- In his deep heart, he hopes to see and take care of them and not to let them fall prey for his mother in law's ideas which destroyed his marital life, thinking wrongly that she frees her daughter from poverty or from her disobedient husband.

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- He wondered keeping a drop of tears, was about to fall from his eyes, as long as he remembered that he 'll leave his family, friends and children who live in Cairo with their mother.

- He 'll leave the town, he adores its landmarks, such smell mixed with smells of the sea, gases of factories, its streets, substreets, lanes and squares that run in his flesh, blood and bones and attached to his soul. *

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- At the airport, Sadek kept standing with those who came to see him off for the longest possible time, hot tears brightened in his eyes and didn't fall until he them off, giving them his back, waving every now and again, looking back, pushing forward his luggage carrier, he didn't forget the wonderful portraited by water colours, presented by Shrouk who still kept warm feelings towards him, and such sense he has never met, when he crossed the airport gate, he looked back, he couldn't recognize any of his relatives who disappeared in crowdness. *

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(32) Be a war that you are destined by God's mercy and providence to experience difficulties in the beginning, till fate completes its run, to have the luck of the winners. *

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- In alienation, time passes so slowly, he felt boresome in free time, and sometimes he felt enslavement which made him a lot to think about finishing his contract and return to his country with nothing as it said, but he used to rethink or retreat at long last, he tried to pass the time‌. He sometimes sits with the plumber and the driver, once Ragab, the plumber said to him: - Yesterday I was in amission in the trade center in Ghada.

- What a trade center?

- Ragab replied: - It belongs to guarantor, I went by car with the philippini driver, ling, I finished plumbing works and came back.

- He realized that work is up to the guarantor, not to one work place.

In the evening he tried to spend the time reading, he didn't concentrate well or little concentration occasionally, he existed a mong people or intended to go out and doing any activities like wandering streets and markets, trying to find out about new placed he hasn't been to before, for nothing but killing the time so as not to be a lone so that the devil of despair and cares couldn't overcome him.

- He goes to markets, he wants to contemplate faces and recognizes their features, in fact, he tries to count the number of nationalties around him, different faces of varied races.

- Over the time he tried to determine proportions of those nationalties in the suadi Arabia, he tended to look at shop windows, he was happy about smells of eastern perfumes that came to his nose out of "Aloud" 91

shops according to native people, but he found his utmost happiness in concentrating his eyes on letters especially those sent by his friend Samy as he recommended him to write to inform him what is happening in the town so as not feel much alienation and depression. *

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- After work duration, he sat on his office to write a letter to Samy, saying: "Assept my sincere greetings….

- Also it's rather from the far depth or the desert we flew over, I was determined to look at the large space, fortunately my seat was by the window from which I looked at the outside, attracted to the sea of the golden colour from high in the sky, all the flight long which lasted two hours only, wonderful variations and from of cloud fascinated me.

When I look at the coastal line, I feel sad and boresome as it no longer be long to us as it was in the past…. Do you when we were going "ElAin Elsokhna" and planted our umbrella any where? Then no one stands against you, the word "banned" wasn't used, the beach was for all people, there a sense of value – value of citizenship, and belonging…. Where are they now? Where is that belonging which makes me strive and sacrifice for sake of my country? There is no strive but that for God so as not to keep still in the bottom, we want precisely to determine the rights and duties of the citizen, is there any one who hates benefiting from the country and sharing its love? But the elites of white colars as they used to be known, a long ago, refuse so, they are a way from the poor so that their noses can't smell hateful smells and their eyes can't see them, to enjoy a lone as if God created other people to serve them… shortly this scene evoked in my soul a sense of man's humiliation and nothingness in this large universe….

This wonderful space attracted my eyes in its blue colour, I felt 92

magnificence, beauty‌ the plane flew up over clouds‌. On seeing such panorama, I wonder and feel astonished of such large space, my admiration and astonishment of God's blessings and creatures increase" *

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(33) A quiet braze can dissolve mountains of snow, and a calm‌. *

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- The letters, Sadek received, represented aflash of hope amongst waves of despair and depression accumulating his heart and mind, he lied on his bed and opended the letter delivered by the sirlanki worker, Zahra: "Did you recite the fatha (1) for me when you visited the "Q'ba" don't forget, please. I'm all longing for visiting Q'aba and the beloved Mohammed, and it 's agreat chance clestined by God for you, don't let such occasion escape you, it 's a great blessing you 'll realize its value only when you come back, these are holy sites chosen by God and oathed by them, may God gave you this chance to free you from your hardships as God made the inviolated mosque a destination for people" - Yesterday I was the young bous in the small mosque and told them an extract of the town history, I read in a local newspaper. But no one gave attention to, do they really care for such history? We may look abnoramal if we speak about such matters, is there anything wrong?

The article says: "Ahmed Oraby came to Suez with his fellows, where they spent a few night in El-awrdy" prison, which turned into workshops and storerooms for the Suez navy shipyard, locating in El-Ansary" area, the English prevented them from staying at the palace of Mohamed Ali Basha, which was the governorate building, named then "Suez directorate", the townspeople welcomed them, crowded and spend sleepless nights above and around cob to support them in the aftermath Oraby revolution in Abdeen square and British invasion in Egypt as aresult of "El-Tal. Elkebeer" defeat caused by treason 94

committed by Delisps, the Suez Canal project engineer when he broke his promise and used the Canal for military purposes. Also townspeople saw Saad Zaghloul off to his exile through the sea and people had nothing to do but controlling their anger towards such disappointing scene on seeing the leader of the nation departing home to ceceil Island, and once again people of Suez welcomed him and his fellows back when they returned from exile,,. We are alright, hoping nothing but seeing you, I'm looking forward to meeting you on pins and needles, by the way, the engineer Monhy retired and Abdel-Aleen El-Asmr took his position, he is atribal man too, sadly some devices were stolen, and alarge numbers of employees was investigated, most of them exposed to insults in adminstraive attorney, and police station, I was in person in atight spot due to my position as amanager of personnal department, but by God's providence I was set free after spending a night in the cell, shortly the main suspect was an employee in charge of storerooms, who confessed that the manager asked him to do so. But the last in turn negated the accusation a way from himself and the plantiff was persuaded enough to end the matter‌ so far. The attorney didn't reach any resolution, the employee in charge was arrested and imprisoned until the case end, thanks to God that you didn't witness such shameful crime‌ I hope you are well Samy *

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(34) When man gives no attention to fate, becomes a lord on the whole kingdom of earth" *

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- In the evening, Sadek had a pen and paper, to write a letter to Samy: "Accept my sincere greetings.. since I came to the Suadi Arabia more than two months ago, I didn't hear a piece of news more painful than so, how could this happen in a governmental workplace? But the most painful is that such irrational arrows of accusation reached you, and to spend a night in that hateful place, and thanks to God for your salvation‌. It 's supposed that the governmental clerk is the mirror of the state and represnts it‌ don't you agree with me?

- Shops here are stuffed with kinds of goods from all over the world, besides eastern and western restaurants spreading every where, and employ people from the same countries, in fact although I'm happy about those common markets and such wonderful diversity which give a chance for choice and shopping, I felt astonished when I checked most commidities to discover that they are imported, Are we just consumers? When 'll we begin to produce seriously?

- I was so disturbed that I thought about leaving work and come back to Egypt, in the evening I talked with a colleague, who works as accountant and asked him if I could return to Egypt, he smiled and said: - Be patient we all experience those feelings, you 'll get used to living here - I can't - He smiled saying: - It 's just impulse!

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- My dream came true when I visited the holy Q'aba, I a greed with my friends, we purified and intended at the house which the Guarantor rented for us, I heard them giving the Guarantor the title "uncle" , and once I talked with a Suadi man about his mistreatment, the man smiled saying: - Don't mention it, he is your uncle and has the right to exploit you as he likes - I replied: - This is the fact, - The man kept smiling and said: - Try to adapt, don't misjudge yourself.

- I shaved shoulderbud pubes, I had an enjoyable wash, I inlended "omra" or minor Haj, dressed inIhram clothes, I said my prayers, I made for a large square named "El-Nozha" with colleagues wherein some taxis most of them are yellow and modern, in organized rows.

There is a café beside taxi stop office, at the café door on the sade walk, there are some scttering chairs and sofas which were somehow above the ground, some people – most of were driver – sit a squad to smoke hubble – pubble in turns with each other.

- There were no disturbing sounds like those we hear in taxi stops in Egypt, no one bullys others because almost one knows his rights and duties. I don't know how in such point in my letter to you, I remembered a melody of Ahmed Adwya (1) sayes" what a crowded world in which mercy is no more". In Egypt, one sees all wonders piling on the pavement and roads as if people wait for establishing the or the day of judgement, when we got on the taxi, the driver asked for passports and stay cards, he made for aneighbouring wood office to register names of travelers, procedures tookno time and soon he left the stop, he gave back cards, I wondered when I saw one received a 97

passport only, and why he didn't have a stay card like us, and why his Guarantor didn't keep the passport in his save, so that man can travel any where in the world giving no care for Guarantor.

- Little later I knew he is a yameni citizen who takea the ventages of stay freedom and moves from work to another insaide the suadi kingdom without getting permission of Guarantor, I said to myself: "I wish I were a yameni‌! We reached margins of Mecca to become near to the inviolated mosque, we got off the taxi, walked in the forum in which we enjoyed seeing the mosque pigeon which fly around "ElQ'aba" in peace, it 's holy inviolated place. Africa women and girls sel grains in sacs, they always repeat "Two Riyals". Strange feelings occurred me and a sense of comfort, I hadn't experienced before, my heart felt spirituality which made me smile, I shed tears on seeing the "Q'aba", I heard the man beside reading in a booklet saying: "May my God aggrandize the holiness, dignity, honour, blessing and magnificence of this inviolated mosque and the same to those who come for Haj or minor Haj". Yes it 's the Q'aba that eyes are more brightening on looking at, and to which people come from all over the world‌ Here I'm before it satisfying my eyes by pondering, I was told that God rewards the one who look at it, it's the Q'aba that no moment passes but there is one prays or goes around. It pleases souls makes organs supplicant and attracts hearts. It 's the elernal symbol, I felt abstract and escassi in such great occasion.

- I wanted to wait more to enjoy looking at it, but my colleagues hurried to enter the inviolated mosque. We got in through "El-Omra" gate and looked at all around, I felt the magnificence of the occasion and prayet. I got near to go around the "Q'aba" and as I got nearer, I looked as if a flood of spiritual meanings exploded in my heart, I shed tears heavily, every now and again I brushed my eyes, I wait little 98

looking at the other side, trying to keep my face a way from fellows, I felt it 's wrong of me to come with them, I wished I had been a lone to weap freely, sit and pray whenever I like…. Shortly I wanted to put no control on my feelings and set myself free from those heavy burdens and cares, to enjoy childish joy which lies deep inside us and may be polluted due to savges of time…. I felt strange sublimation and supremacy, afeeling I hoped to remain all my life long…. I felt as if I got into the chill of love and innocence forgetting about all my cares or precisely all cares and problems of my selfe became trivial.

- I finished going around the "Q'aba" seven times, I made for "Zamzam well", getting down stairs leading to the well underground in the direction of "Ibraheem" shrine, the right side is devoted for men and the left one is for women… I found a lot of basins in a long corridor where I saw a great crowa, a lot of people make for this safe place, I felt refreshment and s cold braze penetrating my soul.

- We finished the minor Haj by going to and fro from El-Safa to ElMarwa, we had our hair cut, but some made it short only.

- I didn't forget to recite "El-Fatha" sura.

- Although it was cold, wevdidn't feel so, it 's a secure place: "whoever enters, becomes secure" Sadek *

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(35) the arrogant boasts despite having no crowns, or authority, they are to follow the right way because the scales of the misguides is unbalanced, and people always put no account to the them. *

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- In Sadek 's absence, some kind of intimacy grew between his elder brother Nader and father who in fact was eager to over years in his old ago. Hard years passed and within which Maged used to pay monthly salaries for the government employees: taxes, insurance, localties, suppliance and so on, then his business and trade expanded in bakeries and flour, so he wasn't able to run a lone which made him decide to resort to his elder son in the hope that he could make him forget the past and turn over a new page to feel his parentage with him as if he tride to make him raise positive feelings.

- Were Nader's smile and obedience – at home – enough to make forget what happened? Maged opened his heart – concerning so to his wife who as usuall is worried about her sons. She didn't know that time 'd pass and to see her husband's son who grew up in Cairo with his mother a long ago – nearly three decades – suddenly becomes a man to whom she has no feelings and she doesn't know what to say to her husband, she was puzzled and uttered no word as fears went deep in her heart concerning her sons' interests but finally her love and loyalty to her husband made her agree to what he decides for the good of all his sons.

- Oh, Farida, I got old bones and can't work.

- What do you see, Haj? - I want to share my elder son Nader in work for which he suits, I'm not able to run the three bakeries and supervise them daily in Faisal, El-Mustakble and El-Geesh street.

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- I can say nothing, you haven't seen your son for a very long time.

- What do you mean, Farida?

- She stummerd and said: In fact it 's critical situation, Do what you see suitable, they are all your sons.

- Maged felt comfort of what she said especially she didn't oppose to his decision about which he wasn't completely convinced, he only wanted a support to be persuaded it 's the right decision. *

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- When Maged talked with his son about such unexpectant decision, he thought that his father forget him and considered him dead, deep in his heart, he felt humiliation, he didn't have friendly feeling to his father and brothers.

- He exclaimed a lot when he was invited to the house and wondered more about his father's last decision.

- He said to himself: "what is the cause of such invitation?". He used to measure people according to their money or his interests with them.

He didn't have feel love and intimacy to his fellows in terms of "your money makes me aservant to you‌ without money words don't pay".

This was his principle since he read in the entrance of a butcher's long years ago, and used to follow since childhood. He worked in different professions in the light of one aim which is collecting money and looking for wealth, he was a michavilian by nature, gave no care about the mean by which he can achieve his aims.

- Such decision made him extremely happy especially when his father's trade expanded to be about to convey the town demands.. But he was canning instinctly – out of loneliness he experienced – enough not to show happiness, he pretended well that he was ready to raise to

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the occasion, he always though differently he was a way from those superstitions, his mind was beyond all of them. *

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(36) Saints are always reluctant of pleasures of life and give their preaches without recitations, they feel consent although all the world is the opposite, they satisify while others plunder. *

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- My dear….. in "wafd El-Suez paper, volume of April 1978…. Police is keeping an attentive eye on sheik Hafez Salama especially his activities in elections capaigns, a car equipped with wireless means of communication exists before his office, the town witness the most violent election campaign which has ever been 50 years ago, new telephone directory is without doctors' phone number, people are extremely angry" "Magdy Radwan narrated every astonishing tale concerning family affairs, says: I was told, my sound minded king, that the boy Herbaya was absent minded, overwhelmed by cares, as if he suffers fever because the broadcast announced saying: so as not to over doubt, we 'd like to tell you that the honouring parliament is of no authority now, and elites are no more, so Herbaya hurried to the mirror, extremely afraid and annoyed, which appeared on his face and shivering body, looking carefully and chattering about the public affairs, he says what can I do after losing my position in the partiament and became very far, I haven't achieved all I wanted and haven't finished building the new palace yet, people called me the hypocrite who has no morals, they also say I'm a way from good manners, give no attention to customs and tradition, accusing me of breaking my promises, albeit I'll overcome those doubts by some tricks,… Herbaya cried saying: "oh, people I'll get you what didn't dream of, and I'll learn you what you couldn't understand, I'll get you birds milk, I'll show you the

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undiscovered, don't believe what they allege, my dear brothers, listen to me and vote for me,, - Do you know OmGailan Island? It is an old island know by such a name since the 4th century A.C, it was a tomb for the dead and piligriments had rest in it after passing the route of piligrimage to make for the coast then to valley of wandering in sinia since the time the phaeroes brought the jaw to set them to work in the island area where they made ships and the boxes for the dead and also trading in slaves, in a book titled "Routes and kings" the author says: "they traveled from the east to the west and vice uersa to bring from Moroco male and female slaves, silk, fur leathers, and swords, they sailed from frenga in the western sea to reach the area of "El-Foure qaa", to carry their goods on their back to El-Kalzm for a distance estimated by 25 points, then they sailed the eastern sea from El-Kalzm to the old port of the town to make for India, Pakistan and China where they carry misk, Aoud and kafour and so on, to come back to El-Kalzm, then they carry them to "Farama to sail the western sea, they might have come back with such goods to sell in "Custantinia" or to frenga to sell them there" Samy *

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(37) Although he is humble, he comes up stairs of glory, He keeps himself a way from involving in chattering and debate so as not to envied, in terms of the proverb says, "Eternity is due to sublimation" *

*

*

- Before travel, Sadek used to visit his sons through aprevious agreement. Intimacy and good relation are no longer especially with his mother in law, although he kept in touch with El-Tohamy who consciously wasn't convinced of what is going on, he felt that continuous relation and intimacy can't be really achieved although he couldn't do anything due to his wife 's pressure and dictatorship.

- His mother in law became completely different in dealing with him after his travel and return, and while his visits son didn't last more than an hour or two at best, he stayed with them for days in Cairo, but they appointed a room for him if wants to stay although he didn't appreciate such false intimacy created by money.

- At the beginning Fadila looked at him through a fade face full of hope, waiting and curiosity, she asked him to stay with them more pretexting that they need him, but he said: It is not legal, we have been divorced.

- He made his sons choose either to stay with their mother and grandma or come back with him, they said: "It doesn't prevent us from traveling to you in the town". Sadek accepted such choice in addition he is always busy unlike El-Tohamy and his wife, he know that if they stay with him block his activities and work but his life as a whole.

- He 'll keep exchanging letters with Samy when he returns to the Suadi Arabia.s * 105

*

*

(38) The deep rooted can't Vanish, and the well caught by arms can't get out, it's wisdom passed from agreneration to another, and procession of grandson follows it in imitation of their grandfathers, as it 's enternal and unchangeable procession as it 's the route of good manners. *

*

*

- "In the local paper, there is a reportage a bout sugar cane juice shops and causes of spreading heavily in the country, which in turn increased prices of shops… people congratulate the governor on his recovery and return from El-Maadi hospital in which he was treated due to a car accident on the Cairo road, his photo in the main page while he was opening the Attaka social occasion headquarter and paying the corner stone for "El-Hajs' village and towns of "El-Arays" and "El-Fayrouz".

The Suadi kingdom presents 500 copies of the Qu'ran on the occasion of Ramadan. Also there is apiece of news about El-Seik Hassan who talks about standing against the illegal by force, advice and heart" Samy *

*

*

- Over whelmed by pessimistic idea, Sadek wrote letters to his friend Samy. He was over controlled by adesire of leaving the Suadi Arabia and returning to Egypt for the last time whatever the expense, he consciously felt that one loss may be destructive….

"Dear Samy, Sometimes I spend the time listening to sorrowful news, I still feel I'm better than a lot of people, did you hear of the man who divorced his wife because she betrayed as he was abroad, and she gave her husband's money to her beloved so as to ask for divorce when her husband came back….

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My neighbour Hamed the teacher who inhabits in ablock of flats at the street said, I met him a lot in the supper market putting on a black glasses, one day I asked him about the reason for such black glasses, his face turned yellow covering with depression and said: "I have a lot of problem since I came back from the Suadi Arabia, nearly two years ago, I'm under terrible psycho pressures, which due to I felt dizzy and dry throat so often, doctors told me that diabetis is so high in the blood, months later I felt troubles with my sight, doctor in "the king hospitals said that I suffer from retinal detachment, which needs a surgical cperation and my need laser but it 's so expensive and not commonly used so far, *

*

(39)

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*

It 's the road to the unknown mystery so that veiled puzzles grew apparent. *

*

*

- Soon Samy replied to that message, Sadek felt that post offices in the Suadi kingdom are more active than those in Egypt‌ - He read his friend's message which to he is waiting eagerly‌ "It 's very well known that taxes are imposed on every thing, now you may work for his family and country indirectly which may help them earn aliving in alarge scale when you come back or if you transfer ypur money to Egyptian banks, it 's sound and realistic, for example if you build a house for your family, this 'll benefit a lot of people who do different crafts working in the field of comstruction, I don't like to know you are abit disappointed, make sure your family is alright and your sons too, your work 'll benefit them all a lot.

- Your memories are still pure in my heart and 'll remain for ever, and you said it 's the nature of lifewhich encourages me to love the world and interacts with it, not just keeping myself looking at from afar point‌ so bravely I wrote my letter to let you into what is going on the town which was "prowess", although it 's painful news as far as you love the town and your care of people, but this time I decided not to trouble you with such news or pains, yes, they are sufferings but look like injections of vaccination which are beneficial despite pains they create because they vervie the body so that antibodies can came out and immunate it, and may this be amusing for you in terms of the popular proverb saying: "he who sees others' misfortunes, his own become nothing mentioned" Samy - In the morning Samy saw the sirlanki assistant smiling and told him that it 's aletter from Egypt Sadek replied: 108

Thank you, Zahar - Sadek had a look at the letter, trying to recognize the handwriting to know who sent it but in vain, eagerly he opened it feeling worry at the same time, he looked at the edge of the envelope soon to find out it 's Shrouk's‌ he put it into his pocket, his heart beat heavily, he decide to read it calmly his own. *

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(40)

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Life is of eternal and unchangeable nature, it has many ups and downs, whisper in its ears, is a stormy noise spreading verywhere, its givings are scorges are scorges of its destinies, its over plenty is a mere loss. So the wise must be moderate, a way from extravagance or extremacy. *

*

*

- Dear Sadek, Veneration and intimacy from deep of my heart to you, besides love and sincerity, I pray to God to give you happiness and God luck, I hope on receiving this letter to be extremely happy, you me it 's prowess of me to write this letter for you, but in fact I can't be patient any more especially you may not know – but surely you feel – I love you so much a long time ago, it 's a one – side love… anyhow you 'd like to be let into new of the administration and of me… As for the administration, all fellows remember me to you, there were some problems which were investigated by the administrative attorney, I thanked God you are a way from such crises.. we discovered that some equipment and devices were stolen after they had been received by the stores employeed, they are devices for measurement, geometric rulers, and stationery, and geometric drawing. Such news encouraged me to write to you to let you into my secret feelings which I couldn't or didn't dare to tell you all along your work in the administration, I couldn't stand any more. I didn't want to disturb especially you were married and I'm just a secretary of no importance… on writing to you, I feel I'm tallcing with myself… sadly I want to tell you that someone wanted to engage me, he is a colleague.. Do you want to know who is?

He is Zaki Wasel, I didn't make a decision so for, I'm very puzzled…

You know that my father is dead, and I live with my mother and three younger brother…

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Shrouk. *

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*

- He put the letter a side feeling that blood explodes in his veins, his heart beat heavily and suddenly as if he felt dizzy, he asked himself: "Is there really one who loves me other than my mother? He drove his hand in his pocket to get a handkerchief to brush his heavy sweat which runs over all his body, bright drops covered his forehead, he was puzzled and so astonished, he asked himself: "How does life go in the town while I'm a way a long time ago? Why didn't you let me into secrets of your heart a long ago?, you were my colleague for years, really you were sincere to me and a ctive in work, you were always pure honest and had a smiling, kind face, you worked sincerely asife you were my right hand, it is not extravagance if I said you were the unknown motive for me to go on working and satisifying to stay in country, you may represent the town I adore much, but the most important is your advice concerning my own problems although you might have had any experience, but by your tender senses, you realized any changes occurred to me, I'd like to ask you: "why did you express your feelings lately? You said nothing all a long period we spent together… why did you admit after I had left the town and Egypt as a whole..? oh my God..!! I also felt such love and still enjoy remembering such over flowing emotions silently, I saw them in every tender touch without uttering a word, my marriage might have lied behind that silence… was it really the pure love? I don't know! This love overwhelmed me completely but compensated me a lot of depression… It was an appreciable esscasy when I was in work in which I wanted to stay for the longest possible time, I think it the sense of life… happy life despite pains… this love motivated me, gave

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me pleasure, gave my life a taste and colour, really I lived happy moments without speaking about them. *

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*

- This surprise over turned his life as if it came down his soul to renew his cells and made. Him feel he is still an infant, her admission was as sweet as honey running into his veins, he had two choices both to admit that he loves her and his desire to marry her besides the surprise that 'll fall on his family, in the beginning he choose not to tell her or agree on anything until he thinks of the matter well, he knew that he 'll face deniel and sharp words of his family If he decides to marry Shrouk, he was over hesitant due to failure of his first marriage which made him busy minded day and night, he controlled his inner overflowing feelings so he finally decided to postpone the matter till he got his father's agreement before he speaks with her about marriage.

- His happiness about this new flash of hope that illuminated his soul, made him appreciate life as if set him free from extreme despair.

His happiness about the letter didn't last long because it was followed by another one in which he knew his father's illness.

- After he had finished his work, he hurried to make a phone call to make sure, when he knew it is true, he decided to come back to Egypt for a long holiday. *

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He who doesn't understand nature of things 'll go astray, but the one who realized the essence of nature, he 'll be given keys of satisfaction through which he 'll be fair and can estimate matters well. *

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*

- He asked Nabeel El-Soury the technical manager of the institution agree on his travel, he loked at him in anarrow forhead, white curly face, long black sturdy hair and such had smell of his shoulderbuds, saying: - I don't mind but we must consult Mr said, - They came up stairs to the administrative manager in his office: - I want a permission for travel to a very serious matter.

Said smiled saying: - Do you that your guarantor in a holiday.

- What 's wrong?

- How don't you know? He keeps keys of the save in which he keeps all passport.

- Where did he travel?

- Philippens or Bangladish‌ - Wow - Don't wonder, it 's habitual.

- For enjoyment.

- No but, to contract with drivers and workers from south – east Asia, they agree low salaries.

- We have enough workers - There 'll be a new project in the south.

- In the south?

- Yes, in Azizia, under construction - When 'll he come back?

- God only knows, it may a week more or less 113

- Sadek left the office over controlled by sadness and adesire to weap, but his a ppearence was completely normal. *

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*

- More than three week later or 24 day exactly, the employer came back from his successful journey…

- In his office he sat busy adjusting his head cover, saying: - What do you want, Bash Mohands?

- To travel to Egypt urgently - what 'll you do?

- to reassure about my mother…

- don't worry, God helps you, we can do nothing?

- what do you mean?

- God helps, do you have brothers?

- yes.

- it 's so easy…

- what does it mean?

- they can take care of him, we can do without you to finish and deliver some constructions…

- Sadek was perplexed saying: - what do you want?

- to postpone your travel - I want to travel if it needs decreasing my salary…

- I don't mind, you, ll be given an open holiday, God bless you. *

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The more we are free from control of desting, the more we over come our individualism. *

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*

- on the return flight, passangers were talking about the Iraqi invasion to Kuwait, Sadek was busy minded unlike others, he was so worried about his father's health whom he was longing to see besides his mother and sons mean while he was also eager to see his sweet heart who expressed her intimacyin the letter which he 'll keep for ever inside his soul. *

*

*

When the plane landed, his heart was over controlled by pains mixed with happiness, he was unhappy about his fother's illness and being a part from his sons and his family deconstruction, meanwhile a flash of hope and happiness began to get to his heart to refresh his appreciation of life and his desire in keeping in touch with it. *

*

*

- It was terrifning to his father lying on bed, he came near, and bowed to embrace him, he kissed his face and head, he couldn't over come his tears on seeing his bread turned grey to attach to his head with the same colour, and a though he saw his father in previous holiday, he felt as if he sees him for the first time, he began to ponder his features imagining seeing a strange person, his hair turned grey in years he spent a broad, he became lighter and grew yellow face where curly feature appeared, which affected Sadek badly. *

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Is it possible to bow your head against stormy wind? Is it possible not to resist the control of nature? *

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*

- The next day, he dressed in and hurried to get out, feeling a hidden security, on the road he was abrupted by a sense of subjection which comes up apparently on roads and squares besides his deep love for the town, all those feelings mixed with depression and despair, he turned his face off when he pondered a little, he wanted to keep the logic of childhood and to forget about what happened, what is going on and what 'll go on, he felt that his town is empty as if it were a sleep.

- In the administration, he contemplanted what happened, despite his cares for his father's illness, He felt mysterious happiness when he was about to see the beloved sincere face which inspired his heart a flash of hope despite thorns of life, he said to himself: Why did you agree to travel? Here I'm coming back to my country, family and sons, to my town to which I feel eager when I'm abroad‌ - Acloud of sadness occurred his heart, he said to himself once again: - Did I lose the real belonging? It 's to family, humans, street, districts, and roads, extending to include all things and creatures.

- On coming up staires, Sadek saw, Om Nessma, a worker woman carrying a box of soft drinks, she was distributing them among clerks, every now and again she gave a trill, he made for the administration, he saw a group of clerks. Men and women having candies and soft drinks, he also saw flowers in one corner, there was hustle and bustle, he smelt a nice smell all around, and all are smiling, Om Sabreen said: Congratulations, Bash Mohands, happy returns to your sons.

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He smiled saying: Thank you, God bless you Aineyat, the Typist said: We 'll miss Shrouk‌ - where did she go?

- We knew you come to congratulate her on marriage?

- Automatically, he said: - For sure! the woman continued: Don't you really know? She got married to Zaki Wasel, the one in charge of the American project in the administration!

It 's said he is from upper Egypt, and he 'd travel to Alex with Shrouk for honey moon, then they 'll go to upper Egypt to visit his family‌!

He felt extremely dizzy as if he hell off the seventh sky to the seventh earth, he felt a chill and cold in his limbs, then he hurried ti his office stummering: It 's natural. *

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So.. you can find no man who is able to run a large kingdom, better than the dutiful who overcame his selfishness. *

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- No sooner had Sadek come back to his town, than he used to go and fro Cairo where his sons live and learn, he couldn't anyway leave his town to live in Cairo, he cared for his work and parents, meanwhile his mother in law can't leave Cairo or abandon her habitual life, to live in that coastal town about which she always said it 's a sleep.

Also his sons used to live in Cairo with their mother, grandma and grandpa who retired recently and attached to them, he was so tender that they call him "papa tohamy" *

*

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- Sadek came to the administration buildingnby the secretrate room, to sign some papers from the general manager office and finish some procedures. In the lobby, she saw a face, he knew very well, minutes later he remembered his name, his is "Aref Warda", his old friend, they exchanged looks at each other, long years passed since they were class mates in "old prep school for boys" as it was written down on the copper plate at the entrance of the high gate, shortly before 1967 war.

- the chance astonished they, they embraced and kissed each other, Sadek tried to remind "Aref" saying: - Aref‌. Aref Warda..

- it 's alright, but I can't remember your name.

- Sadek, did you forget me?

- they embraced each other again Yes, but it 's a surprise.

Oh Aref we can say the makes our minds go astray.

- they laughed which looking deeply to each other, they were silent for minutes, every one contemplates there other's voice, 118

face, movements and stillness too, they inspired memories of their childish faces to realize how years changed them, each of them noticed white hair at both sides back of the head, and lines come out on their face due to verstitudes of time, their memory came to back to nearly two decades, what years full of pains and sufferings besides some moments of happiness and hope, Sadek talked openly about his travel saying: Egypt is the mother of world as they say, but sometimes I feel we don't deserve the honwr of citizenship - his frind replied: - why do you seem pessimistic?

- We leave our country despite its fine weather, pure and available water, land stretching to the eastern and westrn deserts, however people complain about lack of resources.

- Warda poped out asking: - Who complains? People or governors? *

*

*

- soon they saw off when a clerk came out the general manager office, welcoming Aref who shoke hand warmly saying: welcome Mr Kamal Kamal replied: - Do you know each other Sadek said: We 're old friends.

Aref seemed worried and hesitant, he asked Sadek an excuse to leave, saying: I'm going for an urgent matter with Mr Kamal Azab.

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- Kamal caught Aref's hand to the outer corridor, Sadek didn't forget to make appointment with Aref so that they could flash back sweet memories and smell of years. *

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(45) The more intelligent and brilliant people are, the more devilish, wit, and cheating and tricks, The stricter laws are, the heavier penalties, the more crimes and murders become. *

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Kamal is a clerk in purchasings department, he was appointed after getting a commercial diplome certificate, over years he had a good experience in finishing red tape procedures, dealing with contractors and governmental tenders which go to a certain contractor illegally and accounting expenditures, but the most important is ways of doing secret agreements and nature of person involved. He knows well how to make interests, in short he knows all illegal means to which the Egyptian society adapted in a large scale, every now and again, Kamal Azab was asked to summon to the administrative prosecution or public prosecution or prosecutors Disciplinary court, but all those complaints came to nothings even if they were floating over papers' pages or in offices of affairs in the administration, as had good relations a long ago with those who may concern, he always pretends to be honest and straight with those who investigate him, he also sheds crocodiles, tears and ever looks down as if he were avictim or an innocent child, saying: It 's the tax of success, Basha, they should throw stones, we are so good as palm trees, all prophets were set to torture and insults even by their relatives!

- He was appointed after president Sadat was assisinated 1981, for 86 L.E month salary besides some few paistres, but he could over few years, have a good wealth: three cars, a supermarket, a tourist yacht in Sharm El-Sheik, a resort cabinet in "Tulip" 121

tourist village on the Suez Gulf, a villa in the north coast besides a block of flats with twelve floors in Kafr El-Sheik, his birthplace, with one of his relatives, Also he has jewellerey which he got as a present to his wife out of some illegal practices called "business". In the beginning, activities of purchasings department were limited to buying cleaning tools and needful requirements such as paper, ink and gas pipes, meanwhile the rest comes from the ministry, then he was promoted, by tricks and hypocracy to heads and managers, to become a manager for planning department, to be an equal foot with the general manager, even the two became so close, growing resources resulted in more intimacy, due to local adminstrial and American suppliances. Also the number of buildings under construction in the extending desert increased, in short they didn't leave each other day or night.

- Kamal Azab is the road to the general manager, for those of interests in the administration. *

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*

- Sadek was reluctant to go to the general administration office unless there was an urgent matter or a meeting, He hasn't Kamal Azab for years, on seeing him he felt fainted and reluctant. Once he saw him coming out of the general manager's office when he returned from abroad to deliver his work, Kamal was of fatty checks, his face grew more blackened, his features grew stiff but his snub nose was still unchangeable, he dressed in suits although people a long ago to see in a shrunk shirt and dirty shoes, prosperity changed him apparently in a way that makes normal people feel sorry about him.

- Sadek saw him accidently when he came back from the general manager's office, he wanted to turn his face a way from him, he felt 122

fainted and reluctant towards him, but he was in a tight corner as they were in the lift with others, Kamal began to speak saying: - I haven't seen you for a long time, - well. I was a broad.

- welcome back, Do you want any thing here‌?

- I want to meet the general manager, but he Deems too busy to meet anyone.

- on the ground floor before the lift door, Kamal got a small card out of the jacket inner pocket and gave to Sadek saying: It contains my phone number, Ring me up if necessary.

- Sadek replied to end the dialogue: Thank you. *

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(46) To stay moveless is better than trying to satisify a greedy soul, The full cup is going to be emptied, but the empty one keeps still. *

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*

Aref Warda spent a lot of time jobless after graduating in faculty of agriculture, he lost his old dream of reclaiming a plot of desert land although it was given to him realy through the "assosciation of national youth", for years he did his best to reclaim but in vain due to lack of water, his fellows made a basin for water which they enclosed by bricks and covered it with a thick layer of cement to prevent leak, then they fill it with water which they get by agreeing with the tractor driver, they used thin hoses to spread water in a way of dropping to planned lines where seeds were put beneath.

- He opened to life, motivated by a great hope, but his dream came to nothing because of selfishness of the project managers who were envious, greedy besides being imitators, they care for their personal interests not more, the project manager gave good plots to the previliged in the hope that they may forget about his mistakes and demerits and to run matters freely, he spent the assosciation financial resources as if they were his own, complaints could nothing as he was able to get a way with every thing but he became more powerful, steadu and immunitated.

- Over time burdens of Aref grew heavier, the tractor owner and the hoses seller asked him to pay his accumulating debts back, in addition, the assosciation asked him for yearly premiums about which he knew nothing, cares grew more and more, one day he was surprised to know that he was disowned of the plot due to not committing to pays debts and it hasn't been reclaimed for a long time.

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- Here after Aref worked as adriver for the car that Kamal owns so he revisited him every now and again in the administration, when confidence bekween them grew, Kamal let him run the supermarket established months later and which was one of his different properties‌.

- Aref's activities expanded, he woeked in real estate and lands trade, Kamal Azab is still his ideal so he tried hard to follow his steps in life. *

*

*

- He was deeply determined to achieve his dreams and ambitions, he didn't care how legal the means is, he was a mechaevellian, the end justifies the means, selfishness and evil blinded, him to see what is going on all around, he competed and hurried but life made ends completely opposite to hopes.

- He exploited his relations with Kamal Azab "to get to the most important person in the administration who was a vice minister, through whom he got to the characters who have the key to wealth and domination in that quiet town, he coud through them have eight distinguishing plots of land, three of them in El-Salam district near to the building of university faculties, their prices are twice comparing to other far ones due to being close to the university and the town, his friend Kamal said that he bribed the vice minister 50.000L.E through the last 's secretary so as to get two distinguishing plots in a place neighbouring the new car stop, he was in charge of distriting them officially instead of other plots which we cancelled due to their location in the field of armed forced radar, also he got two other plots from those oppointed to newly graduates in return to a good catchment he gave to the vice minister. Aref Warda could buy through the same person, a plot in "Hood El-Dos" area from a man who ran into debts 125

which he couldn't pay back, that man was in a tight corner so he registered it as a present or a gift to the vice minister who put him in hot water because he didn't make his promise so he had to sell the land of his sons to pay for the bribery cheque so as not to be imprisoned and the buyer was Aref Warda who was waiting eagerly and impatiently especially he always says that "Money is the best hunter", he paid a third of its price as brokery to the respected vice minister. *

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(47) - All can't be seen by eyes are hidden whims, all can be heard by ears are vanishing misleading, all can't recognized by senses are nothingness… *

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- Aref and Sadek agreed to meet at "Telegraph Borsa" café in towndown… shortly before the appointment, Sadek sat on a chair out of the café, having a glass of lemonade, he looked at the all around landmarks to find out that the diary which belonged the Mr Berasos who was one of the Greek who overpopulated the town before the forigners immigrating wave in Abdel-Nasr regn, had another name, nearby he saw Ratib's diaries and ice-cream as they were, on the other sade he saw "Abu-Elenein" clothes shop. *

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*

The jeep cheroki 4*4, belonging to Kamal Azab, was walking proudly in the town street, Aref Warda sat beside him, it took "El-Cornich" road, it reached port taweek, it slowed down, while Kamal put his arm on the lead, he felt escassi penetrating his veins, he looked at Aref saying: - Are you busy now?

- I remembered I've an appointment with the engineer coming back from abroad.

- Sadek - Yes, Did you remember him?

- That you met him after long years of immigration - He seems to be an old friend - Yes, he was a classmate a long ago, before the immigration we sat together on a desk - Try to join him!

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- Yes, I did, but - What happened?

- He looks serious.

Kamal smiled looking at Aref: Try to persuade him, he seems to have good experience.

- Warda laughed so loud that he shook his body, saying: - You are a clever hunter, you learned me a lot… *

*

*

- Minutes later the car moved in an avenue of trees whose branches were high and entangled, their leaves and flowers are embracing in the middle to throw shadows on people, cars and the road ending at the marine shipyard, at which the car turned side where the beach of the sea and the canal, officers clubs, skiing and the family club separate the land from the canal water, at every short distance there is "the beach" club which was a long ago known as "the employees" club to distinguished from "the workers" club whose name changed to be "the family" club.

- the car became inside the town leaving the quiet port Tawfeek district back and stopped by "San james" café and bar in El-Geish street near to the "telegraph" café. *

*

*

- Aref got down, Sadek stood to greet and embrace him, but Kamal kept still in the car, he greeted Sadek and went a head, Aref said: - Are you waiting for a long time?

- About 20 minutes - Sorry for coming late - Take it easy, Do you want coffee?

- mild, please.

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- Sadek called for the waiter to get them two cups of coffee, they had afriendly simple talk, every now and again lasps of coffee is heard discontinuing their talk, then they resumed once again, they together remembered the names of their classmates, hardly does one of them remember and when the other completed it, Sadek said: - I remember there was carriages stop here at barrier, of El-Nemsa st., a long ago, I used to come here before sunrise on Friday, to take a carriage to return to my grandpa's house for visiting shrines with him, it costed five piasters, I was very happy as I liked having the seat by the carriage man.

- what nice days.

It was nice to see my grandma and aunt dressed in the showl and the veil embroised by a golden mark, they were proud of.

Aref asked: What golden mark?

- Nearly all Suez women had a s howl and a veil embroised by a gold mark which was 24 c. and put tightly on the nose between eyes and they were all proud of.

- Aref kept silent a little, and Sadek went on saying: Sometime we spent the night in shrines among the dead, when I remember those incidents, I say what strange! How dard we spend the night in shrines?

It used to be in feasts.

- Oh, you remembered me of old days - The feast marked was by shrines, nesrly among them, happiness and sadness were said by side, the dead might have felt us?

- For sure, their sense is pure and true because their eyes are unveiled.

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- Was it just a chance, I mean life beside death and happiness besaide sorrow, we seem we haven't changed much since the time of phaoroahs.

- I think there were more intelligent, cultured than us.

- It must be meaningful.

Sadek replied sighing: These days are no more. *

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(48) - I challenged my own desires so I kept my myself pure and spirit calm to see people lead aflooding perpetual life. *

*

*

- upon Aref's request, the two friends agreed to spend another time in the cabinet, which Warda owns in "El-Sokhna" beach‌. On the agreed appointment Sadek took a taxi and hurried to answer his friend's invitation, when he came near to the village entrance, he saw persons scattering everywhere, the security assistant asked him for his identity card, which he kept, Sadek paid for the driver and began to look astonishingly at that wonderful place, asking himself if it belonged to the town, and where he was when those building had been set up at the extending beach. He popped out the all around, and palm trees standing on both sides, calmness and accurate order of the place fascinated him so much, he looked around to see and ponder flowers besins planned accurately, his nose smelt jasmine flowers mixing with other kinds of flowers, he saw sun flowers, palate and seven chrysanthemum cloves and other strange kinds of roses, besides other kinds of flowers and small, medium and big trees which he couldn't recognize by name‌ he raised his head to see a pure sky in which there are only some few pieces of white and grey clouds, roaming in the western sade under which there were wandering lines of rays mixing in different bright colours as if they were ready to make rain bow, what a wonderful landscape!

- At the beach, Sadek sat under the umbrella, looking at the horizon to enjoy the wonderful blue and a group of white clouds from the east.

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- That hearenly landscape which became completely brilliant, revived his endless memories, he looked at the space extending before him enjoying splashes of water coming to his face, every now and again he was a wakened by a sound of a child playing with his fellows, giving no attention to cares of life, and enclosed by rejoice and innocence, he was eager to enjoy such joyful atmosphere a long ago… He concentrated his eyes on golden waves lulling before him in astonishing flooding, giving those calm soundd occurring his ears smoothly and swiftly, it was a good chance for comtemplation and relaxation which discontinued only by a woman crying: Ramy…. Ramy - He looked around to see two children playing with aplastic rope and a spade, they used for making funny solids of soft yellow sands… He got down his glasses looking at the two children and gave a quiet smile, he listened carefully: - Yes, mum - Come my dear to take the sandwich - I don't have appetite, mum, *

*

*

Little later, Aref Warda came out of the side door of the cabinet dressed in a Y. shirt and sea short, putting on a cap and a Ray – ban, whose reflected brilliance didn't make him recognize which direction Sadek looked at… Sadek let him into his secrets, Aref tried to get him out of his passions by inviting him ti this place to enjoy the fresh air and the sun, Sadek spent the day in such cabinet then they took a car to return to the town before the night came down, Sadek began to speak saying:

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- I wasn't to imagince that the village is such abrilliant and beautiful.

- Every year we come here to spend the annual holiday since four years nearly, the time I bought that cabinet, you remember when I introduced you the idea, the broker said it belongs to a very important person…

- But who is that broker?

- You know him well, ho is a vice minster - Who is that man?

- Your general manager,…

- The general manager of the administration.

Warda nodded saying: - Yes - He sells through amandale, to take his portion.. nearly the quarter.. Sadek wondered and felt disturded: - What quarter?

- The quarter of the cabinet price…

- How much is it?

- Don't ask so as not to feel disappointed!

- But you know that I didn't think of having a cabinet, frankly it is nut practical in the light of my circumstances, realy I'm looking for a flat now in a quiet location.

- I'm at your disposal..

- Thank you, I'll give you a sum of money as a token… *

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(49) - If you see those who are overcontrolled by fear, surrender to the unjustice, - You are to be sure that they 'll certainly be subjected to more depression and 'll lead a sorrowful life and feel that their homeland is a gig prison, they 'll be deprived of blessings and resources of life, because souls suffer from the sore humiliation out of the control of depression. *

*

*

- Piles of garbage filled streets, papers scattered here and there, most of them were those of electoral propagands, they flew out of the autumn air, crocodiles of ravens flew over the space in the town open places in great unprecedable, their stiff whoop was getting loud while flying over the town, it was a terrifying atmosphere, getting near the election centers was of a great danger, Aref didn't give much attention to policy, despite being sound – minded, he didn't share in any elections or thinking to indulging himself as a candidate, also he had no relation public matters anyway, he was rather a practical person, he didn't even – like other – to express his opinion about the candidates for represting people in different posts.

- Political events came one after the other made a lot of people reluctant to contribute in public affairs so as not expose themselves to perils or possible anger of those of interest or supreme posts, when he met his friend of "Ne'naa" café in front of the old fish market in "ElGhaeeb" district, they sat on the north corner which allowed them to enjoy the evening fresh air, which was pure enough to make them keep sitting and prolonging conversation, Sadek said: - For whom you vote to day?

- For no one 134

- Did you make your vote nul - No..

- He moderates some what in his sitting - I can't understand..

- I didn't vote in principle - Oh, I didn't expect so… Didn't you really vote?

- Ya, to be a way from perils!!

- Why did you do so?

- Aref chaged his sitting – position and gave a cold smile while keeping his eyes on nothing saying: - You reminded me of an old incident with one of our well – known a colleague in university, he was an intelligent youth, who involved in policy, that incident kept me a way from belonging…

- Sadek replied in a remarkable attention: - What was wrong with him?

- I'll tell you the incident in details, once on our way to university, there were some political troubles and students' protests were at extreme late in 1970s, all of us had lectures notebooks and lab uniforms, when we came near the college gate, an ordinary car stopped by us abruptly and two well – built persons came out to capture El-Hamalawy, our colleague without uttering a word, they pushed him into through the car window while he resisted strongly so we can't forget viewing his legs kicking and felt awfully astonished, we wondered what was going on and felt so frightened and insulted.. is it the right procedures or has the state got the right to do so?...

Sadek replied in a smile: No, It doesn't have the right.

- Do you know what happened after that?

- Tell me…

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- The car ran fast and we couldn't do anything uttering no word, then we knew that he was sent to prison and knew nothing about him, even his family who hardly knew the prison in which he was concentrated at long last…

- And what happened?

Strangly just before exams we suddenly met him as they allowed him to set to his examinations and we knew something strange…

- what 's wrong?

- They secretly commanded the colleage administration to make him pass…

- Did he really pass?

- Yes, and was given a very good estimation.

- Sadek replied in wonder: - What an abnormal country..

- That is not the end of the story.

- What else?

- Days passed over to wintness another incident, El-Hamalawy was one of its parties.

- When was that?

- In the army when we were recruited!!

- Where…?

- In the main training camp and during the morning queue, the surgeant left us standing under the hot sun, sweat covered our bodies while sat under a shody tree to keep on eyes on us, the queue began to fedget causing hustle and bustle, some squaded so the sergeant let out his disturbing whistle, I heaed a soldier objected that he left us in that heat if we were beasts, the sergeant answered him back saying: - You are out of the frying pan into the fire, Hamalawy!!

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I wandered as I didn't know he is in that platoon with us and looked around to make sure he is Hamalawy‌ - Wow, he is far reputated even in the army. *

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(50) - Haven't you seen you 're unable to resist? Or the characteristic of sustainable overturn? *

*

*

- All family gathered in the home, Nader, the elder brother, Mom'men who got a job contract in the Gulf and came to Egypt for holiday, and Leila who suffers troubles of pregnancy.

- The father was lying on the bed in his full conscicusness, it happened that his leg slipped over the stairs, his thigh bone broke, the ambulance took him to the hospital where he was examined by rays to discover that he suffers bones disease leading to bones fragility, doctors recommended that over effort and sudden movements must be avoided. They discussed who 'll run the three bakeries, car exhibition and flour depositary in the new town intead of the father, the mother said: - call for your father speedy recovery Sadek said: We hope so.

Leila added in a smile: You 'll get better and become as strong as a horse - The father seized a smile saying: Provided that no one rides on my back, I can't bear now!! On the way Do you know what land say?

- Leila replied?

- What does it say, Dad? - It says: Oh, man, you walk on my surface, then you 'll be buried beneath at long last‌ Oh, man, you laugh on my surface, then you'll weap beneath,

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Oh, man you eat all kinds of food on my surface, then. Worms 'll eat you beneath Oh, man you commit sins on my surface, take care or you'll set to torture beneath. *

*

*

- they praised their father for keeping and reciting verses and sayings applicable to them, while Nader did nothing but observing, listening and waiting‌ father said: The three bakeries should be care of lest they should break down.

- Nader calmly replied: We are under your disposal, Dad. - father looked at him carefully and seriously, saying: - what about that, Nader?

Nader gave a short reply, saying: No one but the owners can take care of their resources.

- your are right! This is what I want you to do.

- He looked at his sons and said: - As you know, your brother Nader 'll run our resources till I get better and I'm not so healthy as before.

Sons looked at each other, there was a moment of silence as if it were a year, then they exchanged smiles, Leila said: - we care for nothing but your health, Dad. - Mother said: Sadek and Mo'men are too busy to do so, we hope Nader could raise to the occasion. *

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(51) - He who asks for wisdom 'll achieve his aim and he who wants loss 'll achieve his aim too, He who seeks wisdom, it 'll come to him while he is in a supreme position, but he who wants loss, it 'll come to him eagerly, canning occurs only to a heart full of suspicions. *

*

*

Over days and nights, Nader's deeds were abnormal and rejected, he was extremely abnormal and strange, such selfishness made him to blind to see the right, he gave no attention to any one of the family. One day he alleged that he exposed to a heavy loss due to the earthquake struk Egypt in 1992, causing a big beam in a wall of one bakery‌ with the help of a lawyer, during his father's illness when the last was a lone, he could with the help of a lawyer, get a mandate pretexting that he 'd summon instead of him before one of the formal authorities, and finishing some business‌ the time of earthquake kept a breast with the sad incidents which Sadek kept inside and didn't tall with his about, as the accountant told him that more than one lorry full of flour sacs, whose price was added secretly to Nader's bank statement not to his father's account, and when the accountant talked with him about that, Nader said: - It 's my commission, no of my brother is as industrious as me as you see!! *

*

*

- In one occasion when he was in the bakery, Nader gave aloud cry to the bread maker, Perineum, and the accountant who didn't escape such insults either, his sharp tonque insulted all in the bakery saying:

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For when do you work in particular? Are you with or against me, I swear you 'll be fired out to be replaced by others.

- Hereafter he felt dizzy and heavy sweat, his legs couldn't carry him up, he came down leaning on the wall to sit in his office, the accountant noticed that his head fell on the office, he came near crying: Mr Nadeer… Mr Nader But Nader didn't answer him back.

- The bread maker splashed water on his face to a wake him but in vain, he tried to shake Nader's body violently, but he kept still…

- They called the ambulance which carried him at once to the hospital, the accountant rang Sadek who left his work to be the first to come and asked the doctors about Nader's state, the nurse took a blood sample and soon she returned to say: - He is highly diabetic - His wife said: - But he didn't suffer from diabetes before - He suffers suger coma, madam the doctor said: - we give no attention to our health out of life troubles… a lot of people don't know that they are diabetic unless there are multiplications.

The doctor put bottles of solutions, and Sadek didn't leave his brother until he escaped diabetic Azma.

Sadek turned to his brother's wife to ask about his own sons and Fadila, his ex-wife, she said: She is getting worse day after day. * 141

*

*

- illness was a good chance to uncover Sadek's true feelings towards his brother, Sadek discovered that such incident affected his feelings positively, he forget about – even momently – inequalities which Nader committed against the whole family.

- two or three weeks passed, after which Sadek met his friend Samy with whome he talked about his brother, expressing reluctance og his misdeeds, Samy recited "Don't let your resources be used illegally,, The name of God the Merciful "Ogiwa weight with justice and do not lose the balance." And "Woe to those who Mtafvin if Aktallowa to meet people and if Klwahm or Znohm not lose those they thought envoys a great day."

The great truth of God - This reply comforted Sadek and mitigated his anger to become sure that everything is determined accurately in that life as God knows even leaves which fall down or a grain in the darkness of land and sea, so let that brother does what he wants so as to face his fair destiny in the day of judgment. *

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(52) - while they wear majestic garments Fall over those who seem great, emborised by the most valuable decorations and gems, with golden swords on those privileged bodies, who lead aluxarious life, those are leaders of plunder, thieves and robbers, All they enjoy are a way from the straight road. *

*

*

Dr Mo'men was busy in his work for an oil company in the Gulf, he was reluctant to marry for long years as it wasn't an attractive idea, finally in his yearly holiday, he decided to marry one of ElRays Gamal's his father's friend, daughters, it was a joyful decision welcomed by the family. Although his mother felt happy, her heart was sad especially when she knew he 'll travel again with his wife.

- Sadek agreed with his brother Mo'men and El-Sheik Samy, to settle the matter with Nader peacefully as the lawyer told them that Nader got a mandate from their deceased father, and which they had no time to cancel because their father's illness, their work and sons occupied them besides agreeing that they won't tell their father about such desputes so not to get worse. Also they didn't use to indulge themselves in insignificances, Leila didn't attend that meeting as she was about to be expectant mother according to the doctor.

- On coming near to Nader's residence place, their eyes set on a large villa of three floors, decorated in while mixed with blue cmbroisings and surrounded by a beautiful garden enclosed with a high wall embroised by a fine marble where a line of 143

sharp cretal on its top and kinds of locally produced small chandliers and different decorations representing luxary and wealth‌ in the middle there was a huge iron gate which was closed from the outside, so the one who wanted to enter, had send his hand inside a small hole to open it, so he who comes for the first time can't recognize easily, their reluctance was greater than their surprise, why is all that iron, he protects himself? Sadek said to Mo,men: He doesn't feel secure‌ Samy said: It isn't important, we are to settle the matter with him.

- Sadek a greed him saying: I think so to avoid his problems.

- the door was opened by adectphone, he asked them to get in. *

*

*

- At the entrance, there was abeautiful garden full of different kinds of flowers basil, in pots on both sides spreading their fascinating smells, Sadek wanted to remain some moments in the garden to enjoy his eyes, nose, ears, and spirit.

- They came up to the upper floor and the servant woman got them in the reception hall shortly later, Nader came our wearing a bright coloured rope.

- welcome - He pretended to embrace them, moments of silence occupied their minds within which he repeated "welcome" again and again, then he said: A happy visit Sadek replied

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- We came for an important urgent matter especially I and Mo'men 'll travel a broad - What is that?

- In short we want to know our rights.

Nader replied while moving the ash-tray saying: - Of course, but what about my own…?

Samy who felt a shamed, said: Please, Mr Nader I'm just ago between Nader replied: What 'up?

Samy continued: Your are brothers and I don't want to interfere, we all 'll leave that life sooner or later - Nader reluctantly replied: Cut it short.

- Samy exclaimed and continued as there was nothing done: God says "People do not make every their personal items" and "And establish weight with justice and not lose the balance" - Nader reluctantly replied: For sure… what do you mean?

As Sadek said, we must to follow the right..

Nader took acigeratte out of a box embroised with ivory and began to smoke: What right do you mean? Are you conspiring against me?

- Mo'men said in anger?

Our rights… our lost and stolen rights.

- Nader calmly replied holding a match throwing a way: - What right do you mean? But what about sufferings I experienced for your sake..

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Sadek replied: Now we want to know the bakeries' and car exhibition's accounts.

- Nader arrogantly and reluctantly replied: - It 's not your right to know.

- Mo'men asked angrily: - Who decided so?

- I'm who decides.

Sadek asked in asger: It so, eather is a live and kicking and can cancel the mandate.

Nader replending impressed: He is sick and needs rest‌ He continued looking at Mo'men cunningly: What do you say, doctor?

Then he pressed the cigeratte by fingers to extinguish in the ashtray. *

*

*

- The conversation extended beyond the midnight, within which they spoke up for the most and down sometimes, finally Nader didn't change his nind saying: Do whatever you want even going to the court‌ I'm wairing.

- Despair and sorrow were the result of such tragic meeting which in turn drew break between brothers, Nader was extremely greedy, selfish besides an ever feeling of hunger, thirst and bareness, when Leila knew what happened, she felt sad, saying to her brothers: God's grind mill does slowly but sure!! *

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(53) Scythes don't harvest but the most fertile, and the highest branches of trees, are the ones which fall down. *

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*

- Maged Abu-Elyousr still takes to bed, where his son care of him in turns, Sadek did his best for his father's treatment, he spent the whele night nearly till the dawn or even sun rise sometimes, he took him several times for examination to superior doctors in Cairo, he didn't want to let him into Nader's misdeeds so as not get worse!!

- Sadek had to postopone his travel to the Suadi Arabia to look after his father whose illness lasted long, he got worse day after day, his memory began to be worse too besides little movement, he lost a lot of weight to look as if he were just bones.

- It was necessary to be taken to Cairo for an operation in basin bones by asuperior sugeon in an investment hospital, then he returned to the town, but his health was worse still as it was expected, instead it became worse than ever over days, he was thin and his voice was weak as if he were askelton. In the sitting room before Maged's champer, Mo'men whispered to his brother saying: Did father know anything about what happened with Nader?

- Of course not - Well done or about the mandate?

- No, it is not convenient as you when he gets better.

- Sadek said: First we should hope him aspeedy recovery 147

- In these circumstances Sadek mentioned nothing about expenditures to his father or anyone elso, on looking at his father's Fade skin, he remembed when he was too healtly to feel tiresome all day long, how much he loves people and the town.

Also he remembered how cincere he was to work, his pure spirit, and how sensitive he was, besides appreciating verses and reciting them every now and again, such comparison represented a fluent message of life or the mirage, all run after, the nothingness we try to hold or sustain as possible as we can, but we keep it secret in our hearts.

- Momths of suffering and pain passed, Maged was speaking with his wife while lying on bed, suddenly his head turned down, she tried to awake him but it was the last breath, he died in peace, the family held the consolence in the occasions hall of the town. *

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(54) People's conditions grow better while mine are getting worse It seems thst the whole matter and the main reason can be attributed misunderstanding flooded my mind, all is a product of auile, wicked mind. *

*

*

- Father's dealth resulted in a large gap between Nader and his brother, Sadek neglected his beard to grow, the string bears didn't leave his hand, people always see him sad, he used to read in the holy Qu'ran above his office, in aloud voice, at night he used to go for charities, he used to go to mosques, he he felt calm and secure, there was no longer fear and interests due to his beloved father's death.

- He began a humanitarian business for helping the old and the young, keeping holy Qu'ran in the near by mosque, he kept looking for the hard bitten by life, households to give them a monthly financial support, in Ramadan his activities for charity expanded, besides contributing in establishing a small hospital attached to the mosque in which he used to say his prayers.

- Over years, life gave him an ugly face or rather his brother's face covered by over selfishness and who can't see father than his nose, he know nothing but a pprotunities either it was his right or violating rights of others, it was a heavy misjudgement, this brother is the one who introduced him the unsuitable wife, besides stealing their father's inheritance, how extremely vile he is.

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- fears grew in Sadek 's heart, mixing with sadness, he felt deep despair, he became suspicious of his previous certainties, he even doubted about the closest relatives, or all around him, suspicions extended to himself and his principles, to his life style, that life he used to live peacefully and peace of mind, he spent sleepless nights due to verstitudes of time, is it possible that he who gives a friendly treatment and smiles, to the one who betrays you and steals your resources for no evident reason or fault? Is it possible that such crimes committed by abrother not an enemy? He didn't experience such fears before, they grew and flourished inside him to change his opinion about others, but about life even temporoly!

- He asked himself: How can that man who plays with you and tells jokes, become complately different to extremes? He compared that man, any man, to the knife or the stone which if you used properly it 'll benefit you and vice versa, it may hurt or make you bleed‌ but can you control the knife in others' hands? Can you stop the aggressor or control his misdeeds? His opinions about people around him became complately different, he became suspicious of their intentions, he avoided looking at their faces, sometimes he looked at the other side so as to see their eyes, he became a fried of their smiles lets they should hide canning. His looks at people became sad, full of doubts and despair although they were full of love and tender.

- Sadness over whelmed the family for a long time, Sadek thought of surrender due to experiencing more than one situation, and keeping himself a way from that disappointing atmosphere. He wasn't ready to indulge himself in insigificances or resorting to couts against his elder brother who stole bakeries, car exhibition and Alour despository, he did his best in pretexting excuses and 150

troubles, forgery is an easy matter for that brother who gives no account for promises, religious values and blood relation, he forget documents to duplicate expenditures illegally and tricks to alleged they are greater than profits, so Sadek over humiliated him. What avile man who has no consciousness, values or principles but greed, envy and selfishness on which he grew up, he was too vile to play with the madate issued by his father and fired the honest accountant out, whom their father trusted for a long time, that brother to steal everything, he involved in fabricated quarrels with workers, every now and again he replaced the seller and bread maker and flour mixer, he used to accuse them of dishonesty so no one trusted him a bit.

- Sadek rethought travel to escape sadness and disappointment overwhelmed him recently, he wasn't to expect to take such decision especially due to the circumstances he experienced recently.

- It wasn't an escapade from confrontation against his brothers misdeeds and his family problems, he wasn't weak but he tried to get over such inferiorities and escape from the devil who urged him to get rid his brother one day, confronation was useless with that canning and double faced one, Sadek tried to a void gloating of people even he had to lose thousands pounds which were avaluable sum of money for him and his sons, he preferred to make up for it through travel to secure his sons adecent life. *

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(55) He who is humanitarian, set free from self desires, and he who is fair, is directed by the force of asubjective well, He who tries to be fair, is driven by instincts of thinking about guilts or sins, He who is masterful in rites and jusprudence is the fluent one who calls of good deeds. *

*

*

- He spent days and nights suffering from losing his love and his father's long illness that ended by his death, besides vile tricks of the one to whom he provided the good, but the most important is his loss between his alienation he resumed abroad and his alienation in his homeland which was more impressive. On thinking of himself and sons, tears fell heavy from his eyes, he couldn't stand with such double diaspora – in Egypt and abroad, in Egypt he was in a real dialima between his town and Cairo to visit his sons who were destined to grow up with their grandparents and their sick mother. *

*

*

From El-Madina, he wrote to Samy: "Greetings and peace‌ You know I left my town unwillingly, from the first sight, you may wonder but you know how much the inheritance our late father, such wealth that was stolen by tricks of our elden brother who is deprived of all meaning of brotherhood, and gallantry, he stole his brothers' rights instead of being merciful to them, I hate just 152

mentioning his name leaving the whole matter to God's well, as if father left us nothing.. or what should I do? Nothing for sure, I thanked God for not resorting to the court‌ thanks to God for everything., for not staying in the town for a long time lest matters should be more complicated to find myself in an apparent confrontation with him or the devil might have urged me to commit another kind of revenge against him, so I took the decision of travel unwillingly as travel entails a lot of benefits of which the most important is not to indulge myself in such piles of impurities or corruptions day, let him satisfy his endless desires. *

*

*

- Sometimes El-Sheik Samy flew in spaces which may be thought by some as some kind of escapism from adull reality, others may see it as sophistic extravagance, but it 's certain that it purifies his spirits well and make him clear – minded and highly inspired as if he were new born.

- He wrote to Sadek to entertain his loneliness and make him forget about the serpant bite that caused him a lot of pain and he promised him that he 'd recuperate over time, he wrote saying: "Aword to be mentioned that drainage threatened the Suez Gulf in November 1996, and the paper says that is nearly no tourism, fishes suffer and man is in danger" - Sadek 's heart was full of sadness, he was anxious, Samy's suggestion wasn't right that time as it overincreased his passion, Sadek used to write down thoughts that occurred his mind in a small notebook, he wanted to let his friend into some of them to make feel he coexists with him, but he hoped his friend wouldn't be depressed, Sadek also says: "first I wondered of the Egyptian who fill markets here, they buy a lot of goods, I 153

wondered a lot when I knew the value of customs imposed on those goods on returning to their country, I imagined that the country is like the mother who welcomes her sons on coming back and embraces them, besides welcoming those blessings they brought, but it may thank them, on the contrary. There are red tapes and rules that make you think the matter of buying anything more than one time and how you escape or avoid those high taxes‌ Are we citizens, my dear? When I came back last time, I had to pay the value of insurances and pensions in dollar, how humiliated the Egyptian pound is by the state itself! I paid, strangely the one dollar is for five pounds according to the government, it's much less than its price in Exchange offices. *

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(56) If you suffered from the extreme power of the authority and its cruelty, you are to surrender and obey willingly, to be like a small river at the bottom of a high mountain, so that your characteristics be praised for ever. *

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*

- Samy's letters represented the relevant calmness to his friend, despite the bad news, he used to, they were like drugs that the addict takes to so as not to feel self – defeat…… another piece of news says that street children who are estimated to five thousands are considered timing bombs in the town, according to El-Quoba communication center, 512 persons applied to get the mobile in 1997, the year when we saw it in pockets of a number of businessmen, in the same volume, I read areportage on the hero, Ahmed El-Hawan who deceived the Israli intelligence all a long eleven years and got very important information. His character was shown in a T.V series named "lears in the eyes of the vile".

- "1000 legal judgements are issued weekly in the Suez courts" "Blair Hotel became remains, to be replaced by a high tower building after 85 years" "public parks turned into café – de – areas in terms of an authoritarian decision", they have been rented out to investors who turned them into private placed surrounded by walls, so getting into is conditions by demands of drinks, food and hubble in different smells and containings which don't appeal to some or can't be paid 155

for by others. A lot of people are sorry about them now, and they looking for a nother place to sit in without demands or disturbance.

For that reason it was decided to remove café – de – areas from parks of "El-Nafora", "sea – side", "El-Fayrouz", "El-Suez", "ElYasameen", "El-Shagra", "El-Sindbad", "El-Tashrifa" and "Asdeqa El-Talaba" and others. *

*

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- In the paper, the main headline says "the silver judeel for the town victory" another "four new faculties in Suez" and the third says "Installing the mobile phone towers on four blocks of flats and the mobile phone 'll be in the town in October of the current year, 1998" - take care of this abnormal piece of news: "A trill from a woman sentenced to lo years imprisonment only"!!! she killed her husband by chopper and buried him beneath the bedroom" She said: "10 years imprisonment is better than living with him".

"7 years hard labor to a brother rabed his younger sister out of addiction:! "finding out a murderee before a school" *

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This time Sadek replied quickly because he got over thinking about money to which he no longer cares, he only cares for his psycho harmony so as to do his work and finish necessities in balance and peace of mind, he cares for calmness and light, he wrote a letter to his friend Samy saying: "I dream about a high building like a tower but it goes high and high, the higher it is, the narrower its area is, I stood on its soft 156

roof, a bove the highest peak which turned into a circle whose diameter is not more than three of four meters, there was no wall on it’s a degs, if I looked down, I felt terrified, I see nothing but foggy marks, there are no evident features for anything… its space is so thick all around that it can't determine any thing, even large roads are shapeless completely, nothing left of them but blackthin strings which can be seen hardly…

- Beside me there a beautiful woman who was kind with me, she talked with me, her sudden appearance surprised me, deep in my heart I was happy despite fears attacking me, she caught my hand while popping out at me, I caught her she moves as if she wanted to dance with me, I pretended to be self collected, I felt a chill, if I felt down, I 'd die, my body may vanish in space and disappear for ever, for sure it 'll fall down from a very high position to ram violently to a metal surface or the asphalt, it may be lucky to fall in water whatever it is, what matter is not feel pain, I wish I wouldn't that makes me out of conscousness just out of thinking about, from that height, fears attack me, my mind was nearly paralysized, she gave me a tender urging smile saying: - What's wrong with you?

- I tried to collect myself saying: - Nothing….

Then I woke up…

"Do you know, Samy that you did a favour I won't forget" Don't be surprised, when I think of your sincerity, your ferve, and your friendly relations with others, I feel a flash of hope penetrating my heart, I also felt that my heart is more pleased as long as I visit the "Q'aba", I also wander as those who take to drugs when I visit "El157

Madina" to fell that my trust in human kind came back to me besides appreciating life itself, I'm sorry for using the word "kind", but if you campare this kind with other creatures, you come to astonishing differences, also you discover that we were innocent as young children but soon we are deformed to become a mixture of things that may be contradictory, only few people strive to purify themselves to keep their innocence, do you remember the phrase read "prison is education and reformation" as we see in movies on the from of prisons, really our life needs to constantly purified to imprision our evil spirits and to expose our good side only, isn't it logical? Our life may be attempt to restore our instincts that are inspired by heavenly traditions‌ you made me restore my trust in human kind unintentionally out of your qualities and instinct, showing me the good face of the coin, I mean humans‌ I pass by Leila 's house Kissing its walls It's not certainly due to My love to the house, But love those who inhabit it - Wow, what a wonderful verse for love, if we you find feelings as true as that, you can trust people!!

Sincerely Sadek *

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(57) - I'll let matters to their own business, As salvation is due to obeying fates. Wisdom is always got from versititudes of time, not from what is spoken by mouth and tongue.

But few * people can * insight * such mysterious elevations. *

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*

The student girl said that teacher committed some shameful misdeed against her, when she tried to get a way, he cought her hand to prevent her from escaping, and in a message to the paper, the sender says that name "the future town" is not worthy, it was constructed to years ago and it still lacks a lot of utilities, it 's not satisfactory to pave way and install light posts which most of them are out of order, there is one bakery not more so it can't satisfy demands of people, there are no parks or ambulance station for urgent cases late at night, there are no extinguishing or police station to put an end to conflicts, all those problems are in need to solution and care of those who may concern" - Don't you hear about barber of the V.IPs, Kamal Rashad who immigrated to Cairo after 1967 to begin a career for more than 30 years, in towndown, till he worked in the most famous shop in "El-Doki", which became devoted to characters such as Mahmoud El-Khtib, Hossam Hassan, Hakeem AGag, Ahmed Burada and others, however he is keen on coming to Suez to have breakfast in "Rawash" the well – known restaurant for beans and "Ta'mia", and "the qataripaper wrote about him 159

saying "Kimo, the presidents' barber": I felt magnificence while I made a hair cut for Abdel-Nasr".

- There is another piece of news about "a wolf" who looks for tender after being imprisoned in Cairo and came to Suez to play tricks on children to rape them, once he involved in killing one of them and put his body into a plastic sac and threw a way, he justified such crime saying that he need tender" - I read a warning says: - Any phone call 'll be six minutes only as of the first july 1999, it cost just 10 piasters for untimited time, El-Lalla, the footballer of the Suez team in 1960s, died after he had lost his sight and he lived in poverty. An "opel" car had a famous accident on obridge in Cairo, driven by son of a Suezi parliament member.

Due to 14 drowning cases, "El-Khour" beach was closed a lthough the governorate spent millions of pounds in improving it using the equipment of the canal authority to be apopular beach, also it is said that the "Rex" beach 'll be opened again after getting drainage a way from it.

- Listen to this strange piece of news: a husband forgave his whore wife despite being sur betrays him for the sake of his sons' future‌.. finally, accept my best wishes‌. Although most pices of news are painful, but life goes on with all contradictions, thick and thin, evil and good, and it seems that we can do nothing Sincerely Samy - Hardly had read the message when he put a side and let himself to deep sleeping. * 160

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- In morning, Sadek brought open and paper to write to his friend, the time passed slowly: - I 'll let you into a matter to be taken seriously‌. Years ago I gave Aref Warda a sum of money for reserving a flat in the new tower building, he told me that all owners are his friends‌ but I traveled before the reservation begins, try to assure me please and put me into the occasion as Aref didn't ring me up or send me a letter so far‌ - few people are so brave that they can indulge themselves in solving the miser beautiful town peoblems, most of them as you know are strangers, they don't belong to it although they complete to get posts to a chieve tribal or personal interests or at least to get fame, we are determined on loving our homeland and our dignity endlessly, for most case purity is subjected to a severe defeat by official posts.. do you know why? Because it 's a lone and finds no power to support.

Sadek *

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(60) - satisfaction is about to be like shortage, but its givings are eternal, perfection is about to be equal to nothingness but it 's kept for those who demand. *

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- In his next message, Samy wrote: "Dear Samy, I hope you 're well, I wanted to tell you about policy but I wanted not to annoy you, can man be a way from policy?

I think it 's so vital like air and water as it concerns everything.

I'd like to say that I couldn't meet Aref to whom I went three or four times but in vain, his wife answered me through the in side to say he isn't available. So I hope to meet him in the near future. The local paper issued in October 1999 wrote about appointing 18 millions pound for paving roads after ABB co, had finished replacing drainage network in the town.

0 there is an interesting research on the town during the reign of Mohamed Ali Basha dynasty, written by Mohamed Atta in which he mentions that El-Wahabism in 1810, moved ships in parts on Camels from Cairo to be recollected in Suez near by the shrine of El-Sheik El-Ansary where the Suez old port, father jeramb say: "the journey set off Bab El-Nasr in Cairo to Suez which I found in poverty and dullness wherein dust and stones in piles, demolished houses and their people were semi bare, most of them suffered 162

from eyes diseases, flies come on their faces without even trying to get them a way, their heads are leaning down and their stomachs are puffy. *

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"the English lieutenant waghorn set up the road between Suez and Cairo, which was named "overland road", there was statue half for "waghorn" on the canal in port Tawfeek, and it was demolished during the aggression of England, France, and Israel in 1956.

- Do you know that Abaas Basha set up a palace Cairo and Suez near by the old "Rest", and that said Basha who had a good appetite and named "the kind giant", came to Suez on the royal train, to have Aspajta Macroni dish drepared by a cook in the Italian hotel, it was said that his weight was three quintals, he gave the previlige of digging the canal for his friend Delisppis, also the "Massagerri" company established.

- The building which guided ships in the port, to sustain marine activities, he also set up a basin for repairing ships in port Tawfeek, meanwhile during I smail Basha's reign, which witnessed a true reinsance where the railway station between Cairo and Suez was established besides opening the Suez Canal, on the board of "El-Naser", the emproress "ogini" came to Suez, then she paid a visit to the house in which Napleon stayed, and "the seven girls" church in "El-Salmanya" amd "El-Khour", hereafter the canal town were populated and urbanized. I smail Basha completated what said Basha. Began, and established the new port, the floating basin, the governmental hospital and the European hospital which is now name after "Helal hospital" - I 'd like to end with such overlook on history Best wishes 163

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(61) - I challenged my own desires so I kept myself pure and spirit calm to see people lead aflooding perpetual life. *

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Dear Samy, We must have an attitude in life, we watch most of the time, how long 'll our actions are just reactions? Do we dream anymore?

Man's reactions are always to avoiding pain, or to a chieve a dream or a goal to solve a problem we are investigating, or express admiration imposed it self on us, and we couln't hide so we resorted to speak or write about it expressing our happiness or our sufferings which can't be mitigated unless we confess, inslead of hiding them or going mad… tell me: Are we realy "a landfill" for the world?

- I found it 's a worthy phrase, I resd in an article… the world today tries its weapons and medicines on us. Or distributes it depressed goods as if our land were its battlefield.

- Your message made me feel my town even for moments, I got no information about Aref Warda?vall in all we are excuse him and not prejudice against, we must be patient with him, and whole matter is up to you…

- Before the setback, as young boys, we spent time with our classmate in "El-Ain El-Sokhna", where the sea was before us and the pround mountain behind, we put tent or umbrella anywhere we chose, we hurried for swimming in the pure sea, 164

sometimes I and Aref swam in "Boujee" basin in the lock, I remembered when we walked to gether at the evenings of summer on cornich of "El-Khour", and port Tawfeek, we completed in running in the rout of port Tawfeek till we got to the two statues (Both of them take the shape of a Bengali tiger, as it was written), who heads were over looking the south entrance of the canal, their wonderful view fascinated me a lot as well as the huge marble oblisk that stood high be hind them, on which name of martyrs were carved, I didn't know all these then‌ Before sunset, the sun mitigated its heat and took its wonderful golden colour to fall down slowly to the surface of water, in the horizon behind the sun, "Attaka" mountains appear to embrace the town on which they overlook, in tender thousands of years ago. *

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I remember that we had walks to gether in shemais street, behide "seedy El-Arba'een", certainly no one forgets such landmarks which are carved into memory and represent a port of our lives, shortly before we entered the narrow hand or shemais lone, we saw the woman who sold stored cheese or Mesh on a cage, sitting on a low chair while putting the scale beside her, we smelt the smell that attracted the passerby, at the entrance of the street groceries and ornaments carriages spead besides those who sold bread and dry bakeries, at the right side there was sugar cane juice hope which received the thirsty in habitant of the district before they got in or after they came out of the narrow street, do you remember beans and Tamia restaurant at the left side, in the front of suger cane juice shop? We enjoyed in Ramadan night walking in this fascinating warm and living area, besides various lights emitted from coloured 165

lanterns of different shapes and sizes spreading here and there over shops and walls. Also there lighting and ornaments wires holding lights and stretched on two sides of the street to spread different lights which fascinated the passerby eyes and extended to the old "I saaf" square, people's eyes were full of joy while passing a mong carriages which sold different kinds of products such as underwear, woman's were, shirts, jeans, requirements of bridegrooms and a lot of plastic and electric toys, we saw a man catching a small train toy, making a fuss to attract people, the train toy moved on circular rails on the ground, when cried loudly, children and their parents gathered to watch and buy" prices weren't. *

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- when Ramadan was about, we went to watch and buy in the annual show festival, where we saw different kinds of‌ Almonds, walnuts, hazelnuts, walnuts and Alqrasia and Almhamshah, raisins and carob with its bright black horns, spreading on the shops fronts and enteries to attract people for buying especially it was an annual prices competition‌. Now all these are just memories, and I don't really know if they can come back or gone forever.

- life changed and I saw in the soudi Arabia a lot of urbanization manifestions which I have never expected before I came here.

- once the philippeni engineer Tefal said that he had a problem with the employer, who spoke loudly and insulted him, so he or Tefal in turn said that they can't make any progress with foreigers, and they have money not more, which we 'll get as possible as we can.

Sincerely?? *

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(62) Wise man is the one who appreciates his capacities, well, but the one who doesn't realize that is not sound, my life is limited but knowledge is endless, running after the endless knowledge in a limited life is a tiring duty. *

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"we can do nothing without God's will" - At last I ran into Aref while he was getting out from his house, and I talked with him about the matter, he mentioned the name of the administration manager so I asked if he had something to do with the tower building.

- He replied: - Sure, he is one of heard of trustees - I asked: - What have you done?

- He said: - The sum was given to the manager months ago who said he 'd take the necessary procedures.

- But as for the town, people didn't expect such piece of new a long ago, in April 2000 the local paper reported that water was installed to El-Salam city, there is another one about a decoration engineer who raped a young girl in El-Zahraa district‌ before that a truck driver raped a young boy a ged six in a deserted garage in port Tawfeek!! * Dear Sadek 167

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- what a suprising piece of news, a man was sentenced five years imprisonment as he bit his neighbour's ear and married his wife after a sharp talk…

- also Omra travel bus overturned on its way back from Alex. To Suez at the entrance of the ring road in front of new tombs, while trying to leave back a fare car, resulting in 9 Hajs' death.

- A team of surgeons in south of china, could transplant cornea of fish to a man a ged 19 years so as to enable him to see.

- Let 's know that piece of news, - Now it 's the years of 2000, in which it was resoluted to demolish "El-Sehab" city after eight years of hesitation to be replaced by new buildings, at last the governor says: -

Beans is my weakness Best wishes Samy *

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- He wrote a long message to Samy in which he says: - thank you so much because you troubled yourself writing to me, it 's suprising that he is our colleague in the administration but we know nothing about him, I wasn't to expect that, because the man – as we all know – and you see too – doesn't look wealthy anyway, or do you have another opinion?

"Although most of news are painful but the one concerning installing water to El-Salam city is pleasing, let me say I'm optimistic, realy optimistic about the future of my town…

- I 'll come back in the future after finishing my work here, to remain with my sons I'm so eager to seeing and sustaining them and keeping in touch with their life.

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- I wondered of El-Sehab city whose financial resources poured into pockets of some contractors, it was built just 15 years ago, it might have been envied.

- It's painful to see thosegreedy who plunder the country to the extremes, however they are still keen on stealing more as if they were every hungry and thirsty who can't be satisfied even they drank the deepest oceans!! *

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(63) He who can stand bearing a horrible disaster, is the lord of all kings on earth. *

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- while he was busy working in the evening timing, the telephone rang in his office, Sadek raised it to speak with El-Tohamy who calls from Egypt, in a sad voice – he heard his weep coming from thousands of kilometers, he asked: - What up?

- Your wife Fadila, - What's wrong with her?

- He replied in Panic: She paid the debt of nature, May God mercify her.

- Two days ago, she felt a sudden dep ression in blood pressure, we called for the doctor, she felt better and while she was fully healthy as she was talking with us, she put her head on bed saying: I'm thirsty…

- We fetched her a glass of water but she didn't reply, she died.

- Be patient, my uncle, nothing can be beneficial but Faith in God, all around us are just nihilism…

- He ended the call, his feelings were amixture of sadness and pain for himself, and his sons who became a semi double crphanage…

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- Drops of tears filled his eyes, he was always busy working day and night as if he wanted not to leave time for thinking and sadness, however he had to rethinlc and reevaluate his life after hearing such piece of news which was as disastrous as thunder... he felt a deep pain in his heart out our such circumstance and catastrophes occurred to him and accumulated day after another.

- As a young man he appreciated the taste of life, over years he lot that feeling‌ in those times in particular, his loneliness and loss grew.., he lost innocence, warmth, self collection and principles, he troubles himself looking for the unknown self collection as conflicts and cars let unrest penetrate his heart to the core, he lost the feeling of cscassi, in old ago, entities scatter which in turn needs great efforts to reunion, he said to himself: Don't let uncertainty over come you to hit your head to the wall, don't humiliate anthing or anyone, don't panic, don't retreat, however you are to spend much of your life trying hard to reach belief and find a strong support for yourself. *

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(64) The deep rooted can't Vanish, and the well caught by arms can't get out, it's wisdom passed from agreneration to another, and procession of grandson follows it in imitation of their grandfathers, as it 's enternal and unchangeable procession as it 's the route of good manners. *

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- when he returned to Egypt, he made for El-Iman El-Sha'fey tombs to visit the shrine of Fadila to recitate Qu'ran and and supplicate to God to mercify her soul.

- El-Tohamy talked with him about sons, saying: - You have the right to take them and we can't refuse but….

- But what?

- sons as you know stayed in Cairo with us besides their schools and friends…

- it 'll be a stab in Mahasen's heart….

- How…?

She loves them so much and so do I, so she can't live a way from them - Sadek was in hot water, he stummered, uttering no word.

- God's providence planted love of sons in hearts of their grandparents, so she refused to let them be a way from her especially Salma who compensates her deceased mother as if they were identical twins. * 172

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(65) If you are superior, You are to be over industrious to get over all hardships, And it has been done, You can control all your business And a chieve all your kingdom's hopes *

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- Fadila's death was a hard shock, overturning her mother's life head over heels, she suffered from silence and depression for a long time, she learned how to be patient and supplicate to God, the ice mountain which stands between her and Sadek began to melt, which in turn paved the way to him to visit his sons without disturbancealmost all a long time as it was a green signal‌ in such circumstances Sadek didn't want to twist Mahasen's arm, he talked with El-Tohamy concerning sons whom he thought to take them after his wife 's death, to live in his coastal town, he was astonished on realizing their close relation with grandma but her love to them was strong to the extreme, she was ready to sacrifice every thing to stay with them. *

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- sons became teenagers and adults, he always feels loss, he lost his father and wife, besides being a way from his sons constantly represented some kind of loss, he lost sincerity, sincerity of a brother‌ but his belief in God and his friendship with Samy who gives him advice, represented a valuable treasure, as if it provided 173

him a treatment for his passions and his tender words were a balsm for his agonies.

- Days passed slowly when Samy visited his sons in their grandparent's flat in Cairo, but they also were full of sadness and consolance, also Sadek considered days to be a double – edged weapon, despite that sore reality, his existence a mong his sons was a great bless from God, he was deprived of a long time ago when he couldn't remain with them but for short moments, this time he remained with them for nearly three weeks, he didn't know what to do next as if he forget about his next days, but he couldn't even think, he was busy – minded, he didn't know what he had to do, the utmost he desired was to remain with his sons in those heavy slow days which may have passed quickly according to him. Salma became in her first year in university, the other two sons were in secondary education, he was divided between his desire to stay with them and taking them to settle in his town, he offered his mother in law to come to stay with them but she reminded him that the two sons are still studying in their language schools, and the colleage Salma joined is near to their address in Cairo, finally he agreed willingly when he became sure that his sons can live in comfort with their grandparents, also he had to come back to his work in the coastal town. *

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(66) - He who realized the essence of natures, he 'll be guided to the way to satisfaction, through which he 'll achieve justice that lead to sound judgement. *

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- In holidays El-Tohamy used to take his grandsons for picinic to enjoy fresh air, to expand their understandings and to find out about the large beautiful world in which we live as if we were just drops in a deep sea, surrounded by mystery and magic…. But after the death of Fadila, no one of those happened, sadness was haunted by sadness for a long time, one day El-Tohamy said to his wife: Those young sons who are in the age of flowers, had no sins to be punished twice, losing there is a severe catastroph and we are to please them to get a way with that passion after their mother's death for more than five months. *

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Few days later, El-Tohamy rang Samy up to come immediately… why? El-Tohamy replied extremely happy?

- someone wanted to engage your daughter Salma….

- Sadek wondered, his heart beat heavily, Salma is still young but she seems to be in her twenties, he was extremely puzzled wondering of desting arrangements… is it now in particular?

Will he agree or not…

- Yes, an intendent… oh, my God, he is welcome….

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His speech was amixture of sadness and happiness, refusal and agreement, wonder and agony… At last he took no decision until he meet that intendent and his family, to give a word in what must be done. *

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(67) What do you think the difference between rejection and approval, good and evil… fear that terrifies hearts from which I don't know how to escape, those ideas occurs my mind eternally, ancient ones whose route are extending for ever. *

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- Sadek made for the administration to finish some papers, he sat with some colleagues in his office, Samy entered, they embraced each other warmly.

Sadek asked: Where were you?

- In administrative Prosecution - What for?

- To tell my opinion in the case of stealing salaries…

- What do you say?

- Yes..?

- But how and where?

- When madam Fatma was in the bank, she left the bag of salaries on the chair, she finished her conversation with one of clerk, she looked for it but in vain.

- Samy left him to see the manager and inform him what happened…. Samy finished his papers to go to the site with Samy in a taxi. * 176

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On the way, El-Sheik Samy let his mind roam in another world, Sadek asked him jokingly: - where did you go, sheik?

- I'm convinced that what man desires – his hopes and ever greeds – are endless, they may make him lose his sense of everlasting blessings in life, I always say to myself: learn how to have rest after tiring work, as you know how to run after business and interests, you are to realize calmness and comfort, they are two ends through which you can reveal the most beautiful meaning of life or you may get through to one of its secrets.

- Sadek replied: - You have a transparent sense.

- I hope any newcomers could love that town not for a fist of pounds, it 's regrettable that a lot of them are competing sharply so as to get an official post without any real loyalty or belonging, how then they belong to our town while their family, kins, and interests are in other places?

- Sadek tried to change the course of conversation saying: - I want to invite you to my daughter's engagement party.

- Salma..?

- Yes… - Congratulations in advance - It 'll be just an engagement, to have a wedding party when she graduates.

- Did the fiancé agree?

- Yes, but his family suggested so.

- Congratulation.

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- It 'll God's willings – on Thursday in the wedding hall of ElShata' club. *

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(68) - Existence and nihilism are opposite, Ease and hardness are up and down, height replaced shorness, Tops and bottoms are on one base, the sound harmonizes with the echo, so the future chases the past. *

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- Constructions expansion grew horizontally, new districts areas became greater than that of the old town.

- In that desert area of dry climate and fine weather and which extended largely in the north and south – west of beautiful nature, there are areas of lands to cuddle "Ataka" mountains which have distinguishing shaps and different colours all year long but their brilliance differs and changes in the same day…

- Districts of "El-Iman", "El-Obour", "El-Sabah", faisel and ElMustakbal were constructed, then in the same castern direction – on the old Cairo road – " El-Salam1" was set up, and on the new Cairo road, there are districts of 24 October, El-Amal and Mubark city but in the western direction of the road there is "El-Salam2" district besides cities of El-Tawfeek and El-Ferdous" near by the new suez hospital which was under construction long years ago where travelers can see by the road those blocks of silent concrete which erected without finishing, they stood in the land that was sand short time ago.

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- At adistance, Ataka mountain appears covered by the sky, at night the wind whistles and darkness enclosed the desert with mystery, terror, loneliness and challenge, it may be for protection of the town or to be a deterrence for any creature coming a lone to.

- at the outskirts – on the new Cairo road – there is the new car stop, who goes there can see some new constructed cities on both sides besides other one which are still under construction…. In recent years construction went on industriously due to the continual growth in number of people who want to rent or own flats and shops which in turn made those in charge, change conditions of renting and ownership according to the suitable expense price which is ever changing! *

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Sadek got over his crisis, his course of life continued, he a greed to hold his daughter's engagement party in a hall of one clubs overlooking the Suez Gulf…

- He made for the new stop to receive his father and mother in law and his sons Salma, Magedy and Youssry, he looked at the desert, he grew mixed emotions, for the first time he saw that stop which contain two large places, first of them includes taxi, microbuses stop which is larger than the other one which is devoted for the east – Delta bus stop… He made for the bus stop he was fascinated by the wonderful buildings which can't be compared to the old station in the town down to which buses got in difficulty as it was narrow and Zigzag…

- The new stop is horizontally divided into two umbrellas on both sides for buses, in the middle there were two rows of shops, W.Cs and information office besides a small mosque, on the

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other side there is an oral building for the administration and booking tickets..

- He observed the names of shops such as "El-Shreif" call center, "El-Prince" entertaiments El-Tawheed" diary so on.

- People no longer use the old car stop in town which was full of crowd, exhaust fumes mixed with dust and loud voices of peddlers besides travellers' sufferings in that horrible, all these phenomena have been removed gradually, however old streets didn't change since the immigrants' return, meanwhile most muildings and blocks of flat were destroyed out of war, destruction and time, to be replaced by new tower buitdings. *

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(69) - Every thing grows up in number, so people are different‌ male and female, but they are in harmony to be in one entity *

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In port Tawfeek new clubs appeared in which there are wedding halls, parks, restaurant, playgrounds and places for evening entertainment on the beach, Rowing club, El-Shata, club, and police club which is the most famous, are all still there, the road to port Tawfeek is no longer surrounded by water, Trains penetrated that road to the famous port carrying passengers and goods to and fro. *

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- In that soft evening, life was so sweet, flourishing and fantastic, Sadek was keeping his eyes on ships waiting in the port or those waiting for getting in near by reflecting their fascinating lights on the surface of water amongst darkness, creating asymphony of magic, mystery and beauty to make us feel affected by such magnificence and hidden secrets of this pleasing universe. This attractive port dressed in green colour through scattering trees in parks and the coast, such as the French park and others stretching in front of the canal from its entrance at the statue of the two leopords and the marble oblisk, to the area of "El-Dars" basin and 181

beautiful parks in front of "El-Sadat" rest house, is still creating for Sadek since his childish hands, some kind of a sweet dream and attraction, every now and again he goes there to sit at the edge of the canal looking deeply affected at ships and keeps looking until they disappear in the horizon in their journey to dream cities.

- He was imaginative that he adores travel and adventures, and lets his mind think uncontrolablly of overseas, he admires the view of passing ships and dancing waves of dark blue and yellow of different degrees!! He concentrates his eyes to the clouds of apparent white and dark grey, the white varies according to the reflection of sun light and day time, in turn it shows wonderful portraits of art that evokes imagination and enless pictures in his eyes as a young boy. He saw white birds go around ships sometimes or fly over the water surface in a sudden fall to hunt their preys of tasty fish, they also was lying peacefully and calmly on the water surface. *

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- New the canal goes a long its way, it is so heavy protected that people no longer remember the asphalt road attached to it, most of them feel as if they were foreigners in their homeland, in that time of terrorism and explosions, while their cars preferred such road to move freely in the past where they enjoyed green colours, calmness, watching passing ships, and dancing water moved by fresh air, also trees of fresh air, also trees of Cypress and eucalyptus and Jazurnia , vegetable and fruits gardens such as Mango, grape, banana and kinds scanty grass, overlook the road‌ from place to another schools of cattle and sheep herd by the nomad, appeared. * 182

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- When the night fell, numbers of relatives and friends began to come to the wedding hall, Sadek welcomed them, it didn't imagine that the party 'd be of such pleasure and fascination, it began with music band wearing the Randigot of its bright white, the band stood on both sides of the entrance, some of them held copper instruments, they played music immediately on the arrival of the couple intendents, those who held flames stood also on both sides so that the procession can pass through, bunches of flowers were provided to them while children made a circle around, young girls cought the tail of the white dress a scarlet long carpet covered the ground where they left the car, stretching to their place in the open hall.

- Guests had their seats by the swimming poll which gave the place aspecial taste, some ballons scattered in the water basin giving pleasant colours and different forms to add amagic touch to the place, the voice of singer was rough with the D.J tones sining: "Grape… Grape… Grape!

It 's of a nice red… Grape!

It 's of a mild from… Grape Yellow.. yellow?

It 's a light blooded yellow Grape!!!

- Sadek felt as if he were a guest, not the father of the bride, tone of funny music grew louder, herafter they listened to Nancy Agram singing: - What? Repeat again - Who? - Do you mean me? Our love - Do you talk about us?

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- Oh! You forgot your love stealing our nights and years of our age!

- Once again?

- What‌ what?

- Guests applauded, then they listened to Khalid Agag: - I'm alone My hope‌ my love why are you angry?

My lord why did you love me?

Don't you feel me?

Oh! Night, tell him. *

*

*

Sadek kept moving right and left, to and fro to welcome guest and deliver them to their seats to make sure the are comfortable, he stopped abit to speak with some, he had no chance to sit, he kept looking at the birde who lost her mother in an early age.. he felt that he is a father and mother at a time, also he felt remorse for being a way from his sons for long periods, as if his travel abroad was nothing but some kind of revenge or an insult back his mother in law who planned everything a long ago when she used to humiliate him as he couldn't get a job contract abroad like a lot of his peers and collected areasonable wealth. *

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(70) Feasts are full and delicious, but stomaches weren’t satisfied, catching is so attractive, Hunting preys is a desire, But the hunter felt extremely terrified, and who hunts preys is exhaunted with ghosts of fear. *

*

*

- Warda took to bed all that night long, he didn't attend the wedding party to which he was invited, he kept lying on bed wearing oudoor clothes, he kept looking at the ceiling for nothing, his wife wondered why he kept a wake late at night, she didn't use to see such odd behaviour, of her husband who now became so absent – minded a lot that he knew nothing a bout his two daughters, the first of whome is in her second year in computer institute and the second is in the industrial diplome, He also give no care to home matters, she said anexiously: - What wrong with you, Aref? I smell arat.

- Nothing, everything is going well!

- It 's obviour, there is something wrong.

She feared that her husband involves in a new love experience or something like this. But he didn't realize that her mind goes in such a way so he let her in all matters in delails to relax and get eid of 185

such wrong feelings of geolosy based on whims and doubts which about to create endless troubles between them.

- He suddenly said: - I'm apartner in aproject costs millions and I want to settle the matter.

She asked him: Which project?

- It 's via my friend Kamal and we get loans from bank under names of the employees - But it doesn't concern them, isn't it?

- They know nothing and know gets their personal data from personal department, the bank asks for such data and Kamal asked me to copy their signatures and get the money on behalf of them, it 's an easy matter as it looks‌ - I don't understand, it 's the reason why you are always absent minded?

- Yes! - You always call yourself abusinessman, are all businessmen afraid of business?

- You don't understand the matter, any way, don't worry, I want a cup o tea!

- Alright!

She became happy because no woman occupies her husband's mind, making for the kitchen and nothing worries her! *

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( 71) - All people are either unlucky or leading a happy life, but I don't care for anything as if I were a new born child who tries hard to smile or a passerby who is nameless and homeless. *

*

*

- On coming out of his house, Sadek sees different kinds of people, sometimes they make him feel happy, sometimes he feels sad about their sufferings, however, they smile to him, every day he greets them and they answer him back, they still strive while sitting in cafes daily, he used to see them as they were a fixed routine immediately on getting of the house, their eyes turn to him sponteinously as they always do to every passerby, so as to avoid accusing him of arrogance or not caring about them, what adull duty! What makes him sad is nihilism we all live in our comsuming daily life, he thinks that his dienation grows up day after day despite being among people, he wishes they could become happy and change their ideas to be more energetic for work, to be more servious and revolutionary, but those feelings are still buried into their hearts and organs and won't change until a superman can evoke them or a flash of hope occurs their life‌

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- He wanted to be a way a bit to see the life theare clearly, to keep his privacy one day or to feel his individuality which makes man look his best, deep in his heart he always refuses such life which makes man leads as if he had no time for rest to enjoy his individuality so that he can create and renew, he felt that absence of such individuality led people to live as if they were weightless creatures void of humanism who are identical or copies of each other without hope or anything new. *

*

*

- He couldn't have a flat in the new building tower, he decides to ask After to repay his money but the latter dodget saying: I'll try but you are to wait until investigations with the manager end.

- Sadek wasn't to do any harm to his friend or report the prosecution, depending on god's providence to get another flat.

- Over the time he knew that a lot of people paid money to the general manager who enjoyed a lot of rights and who had fellowers catching victims and the needy to him, he had the right to appointing lands and flats in new cities and changing them with more previliged ones besides other rights of which his position as avice minister.

- At last Sadek moved to a large flat in city center in abuilding tower overlooking the "khour" old cornich in front of the sea and the canal, he could get it with the help of a broker, he said to himself that his deceased wife's desire has come true a long time after her death, he felt sorry about the fate which play with us and sometimes gets us out of our stillness! *

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(72) No crime is more terrific than greed and corruption.

No disaster is more influential than illegal greed, No catstroph is deeper than unsatisfiable greed, so satisfaction is the ultimate blessing for ever. *

*

*

Due to a petition made by a clerk to the high state security, a trap was prepared materialistically to the general manager who was caught and sent to prison, papers gave adue care to long intrrogations about his everincreasing felonies‌ - People overtalked about those felonies whose details spread as quick as afire in a hay. Those felonies echoed over the town.

Sadek discussed the case with El-sheik Samy who laughes for a while and his gestures turned over on saying: - He isn't the only accusee..

- Are there other partners?

- Kamal Azab, the purchasings' manager, the secretary and others.

- Sadek replied in denial: Kamal Azab "it 's the heaven justice" - They recorded and took photos for the manager who Prosecution ordered to be caught and there were thousand of 189

pounds into his office and golden works as well including golden coins for king georg, and breclace embroised by white balls, he was entrapped successfully while receiving abribe.

Sadek surprised: Not all glitters is gold! *

*

* (73)

Life always let those who deals with by force, ddown and he gets nothing in the long run and can't achieve what he aims at. *

*

*

- The police couldn't catch Kamal Azab who escaped to unknown place, they also made a trap to Aref who kept a loyal servant to his master Kamal and did what he was ordered precisely as if he were doing home delivery. On one summer entertainments, he was shocked to see the police before his resort cabinet, there were an office and three armed soldiers besides another officer waiting in the police car wearing unformal clothes. Aref tried to smile to hide his feelings of loss and fear despite being terrified to the extreme and finally he surrendered without resistence or objection.

- When Aref sent to prison, Sadek felt as if his didn't know his old friend well out of changes happed to his behaviours. He blamed himself for being deceived all those long years which estimated a whole decade when he met Aref in the administration after a long break because of October war and immigration from the canal cities. Aref was no longer his old friend with he sat on one desk and divided sandwiches when they spent days in studying and play, what a horrible change through which he could hide his true nature all those long years. Sadek asked himself: "How did he give him 190

such blind trust? He always remember this old friend or who wes so, he wasn't to imagine that he became the contrary to fall easily in devils tricks out of greed which led him to such in calculable consequences. Aref followed the way of those of interests, what a blind immitation that led him to such sore destiny so he is to harvest repentence for his misdeeds. They all sent to cells in police stations due to their greed, deviation and shamelessness whose doors opened by devils, to sharp tongues of people who smelt their decayed smells!

- Then they were sent to darkness of prisonin Zagaig. While on the other side in the adminstrstion, employed kept talking about such scandle which spread violently thiough the town and national papers to be known to Tom, Dick and Harry. Soon after the general manager died, his death was a subject of rumors, some say that he was killed, other affirmed he committed suicide, but formally he was said to die of‌ Blockage in the arteries leading to the heart muscle infarction angina severe impact‌ when he was moved by heavy armed soldiers to the hospital. *

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(74) - the wise is always straight Like arunning river, He is obedient like water, It doesn't stop for any reasons, It goes on its way whatever happents, To locate in small rivers. *

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*

- New cities have adeep position in hearts, because they make us get rid of our old passions which we ever remember without any obvious reasons which may be out of accumalating factors or narrow areas and crowded streets or nartow lanes as well‌ - This crowdedness and noise which you see and experience in the old tpwn and its suburbans, it my be your absent identily which melts in others' identities a bove a certain spot under the sun, those moments which any one tries unconsciously to get, are those of calmness and isolation so as to come back a gain purified filling with hope and ability to live, moments of silence that is absent in narrow places filled with noise and pain which goes deep in bones of human beings leading them to more clashes which caused accumalated problems out of narrow subsistence, which led to pollution of different kinds in the whole life.

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- Samy applied to get a flat in terms of new marriage, six years ago, in one of the new cities which are close to the town and overlooking the large desert, where mountains of Ataka enclosed at the west. He recently got a flat in El-phardous city after he three sons and his wife is pregnant for the fourth time.

- He told Sadek about problems he experienced saying: - Five years ago, I met Kamal Azab who knew my problem and promised me that he can solve the problem but I prefered to wait for my turn.

Sadek replied: For sure, you are an employer in the adminstration and the manager can help you.

- Samy laughed saying: - The matter is not exactly as it looks, but he asked for four thousand pounds!

- What alarge sun! to whom?

- For unknown person, it's said he is an important official in the governorate‌ it 's ridiculous that the flat was robbed before I inhabit in it.

Sadek laughed saying: You must be joking, how come?

- Plumbery instruments were stolen from the bath room and kitchen!!

- What did you do?

- I reported the police and after a long time of asking about the thief and robberies, I was told to get a taxi to go somewhere with the investigation officer.

- What after?

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We arrived to a large square near to Elsehab district, I was surprised to see furniture, bed rooms, and plumbery tools, all on the ground. The policeman talked with the seller a lone to know the identity of the last one who sold some robberies, and the officer could recognize him Sadek saked: Did you find your properties?

- The officer said simply: Take whatever basin and taps - Did you do that?

For sure, the seller is known to sell stolen things and help the police to catch thief.

- What asurprise! *

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(75) The good are sources of knowledge and guidence to the bad who is in turn a forum of preach for the good, so Don't humiliate them or discrinate their holy position, because no good can come out of humiliating the way of guidence or desbising those who went asteay, it 's aheavenly myself and wisdom! It 's of interiorties of guidence and you are to ponder! *

*

*

- What an as, do you think it 's money?

- assidently, there was apassing police car, thieves terrified and disappeared suddenly, I couldn't believe my eyes and ran away.

- Sadek surprised and said: Thanks for god that they didn't stab you. *

*

Samy continued saying: I want to let you into something strange: - What is that?

The robbery in the block 52.

- Where?

- In Elphardous city.

- What happened?

Samy replied: 195

*

- It was semi-deserted where the outlaws and addictors of drugs increase, there is no just apoliceman, who if found, is addictor of drugs too!

- So the inhabitants feel terrified.

- No one cars, it's amess, so thieves take the approtunity, I didn't leave my old flat so far, because of lack of transport, it's expensive for me, however I have to come here nearly every day so that my flat can't be robbed again.

Sadek said mockingly: - They are supposed to take the floor off, sheik.

- To make matters worse!

- What about block 52?

- While having a look at my flat to be reassured, I saw a truck waiting there, to carry the furniture, and someone crying angrily: - It's afailure marriage, we are carrying our daughter's furniture‌.

- Another one replied: It doesn't matter, I'm out of the frying pan into the fire, what adisastrous marriage!!

- The passerby did nothing but expressing their sorrow by curling lips.

- Sadek said: - It is not aproblem, separtion is the best solution in those matters!

- Samy continued enthusiatically: - Yes, but let me tell what happened in details‌ the flat owner travelled abroad and his wife lives with her mother in Alaraba'een, they still inhabit in the old flat like us, and they 196

didn't move their furniture so far, every now and again they go to reassure about the new flat, when the woman found the flatrobbed, she weaped because it was atrick to steal all artefacts and furniture in day light. *

*

* (76)

- Comtemplate how the universe began, to insight its mysteries, to enlarge your awarence and pinpoint your way. *

*

*

Early in March 2003, Sadek woke up as usuall, he looked from the window which overlooks the old cornich, at the right the ancient minerate of El-Gharib mpsque appears‌.

- He sat to enjoy his day in pleasure and hope in the cuddle of the nature to feel its beauty which energizes him for life, he looked at the side neighbouring El-Khour where the old police station of Suez, of ancient history that is about to fade in memory, it was called "the palace of Mohamed Ali" which divided into the police station and the legal court which gave its name to the street in which it locates, over time it's no longer apalace out of the dust of days and years and accumlating carelessess and forgetfulness.

- In the lager balacony, Sadek enjoyed his hobby, he held the copper jug of the side hole which scatters drops of water, what afantastic artefact, to water his shrugs and plants whose leaves take wonderful forms and whose smells spreads to make him feel esscassi as if they reward him for the favour he does towards them. * 197

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- He sat on a chair before a small table on which he put some books and papers, he likes to know any thing about the town which fascinates him, compared by the taste of life in other cities. While studying, Cairo attracted him, he used to walk in town down, to enjoy watching films advertisements the entrances of the cinema halls: Metro, Radio, Cairo, Revolly, Dina and Kasr ElNeil and cafes: Gropi, La Pas, Sphinex, besides Book stores: Dar El-Ma'rf, Misr, and El-Nahda for long times, Also he had a long history with sour El-Azbakia before it disappeared. He liked going to theatres and common markets of meat, fruits and regetables in Attaba, Bab El-louk and Tawfikia. He can't forget luge hotels, clean pensions, shop, chess and Billaird clubs, and cafes especially that of OmKoulthom which represented a part of his entity in the prime of his youth, he was fascinated by wonderful statues in squares: suliaman Basha, Mostafa Kamel, Ta'lat Harb and Ibrahim Basha to enjoy seeing classic fantastic architectures which distinguish the area to look as a mouseum in which there is a mixture of tuscani, Euronic and Kouritsi architecture that was constructed in Kedivi Ismail and his grandsen Abas Helmy era, all this represented a wonderful human feature, he asked himself: can those days come back. *

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*

- He had tea, and opened his newspaper to know the sars outbreak which caused 349 deaths in China. He looked far to see a huge ship passing the canal, he held the book on the table and read: "the phearoh monuments record seinohi who crossed the Delta to Suez and was about to die of thirst in the desert but for the help of Beduins till he arrived in El-sham, the story narrates details of his life, wealth, and his victories until he came back to Egypt due to 198

forgiveness provided to him by king snowsert lst, the son of Amnmat the first. Queen Hatshbsout to El-kalzm "suez" to see the navy to Bont land "sumalia now" off, this is what is carved into her temple in El-Deer El-Bahry, west of the Nile in Luxor. The Beduin pleyed the role of denfending eastern borders, followed by the Greek as of Ibsmatik the first era, then "nicow" the second redug the canal of sezostrees which wasted a way over time, after wards there was a deterioration leading to occupying Egypt by the persian under Dara, the first leadership, who began to dig the canal once again in adminsion of its importance.

- The persian hoped to keep occuping Egypt but in vain. "His son Akrzkesis dug the canal again to be named after "Nadeet" to connect El-Kalzm sea to branches of the polozouri Nile at pelbees". He left three Granit plates at "Kabreet", shalofa and kmamento, carving into it his history and victories which were discovered by Delisps during the canal excavation in th 19th century. The Greek occupied Egypt, and Batlimos the second ruled Egypt before the christ birth, he gave his wife Queen Aristory's name to the city which situates at the north of sore lakes, and he reexcavated the canal once again, to begin, at Heropolis which named after Elkalzm (Nefr Ab) and the canal was given the name "tharo" - The Roman invaded Egypt in the era of tragan, the empror, who began to excavate the canal which completed by "Hardrian", to hold the name of "Tragan Canal", and went on working all the Roman rule era. *

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- He folded the book and put on the table, keeping contemplating all around, he wanted to come to reality, he heardThe rustle of oak 199

and eucalyptus and Twitters of birds coming to his ears early in the morning, he felt refreshment, thought little of the future, what can he do? Travel occurred his mind again and again aithough he discarded to settle in his town, he thanked god for controlling his emotions, he didn't surrender to the devil‌ circumstances and psycho passion he experienced, created some kind of frustration which penetrated his blood as if it were posion, which was about to destroy his ideas, he finally rejected travel to stay in his town, he had no patience with departing again. *

*

*

- He reopened the book, he focused his eyes on lines: - Suez witnessed a lot of wars between the coptic and the Roman.

In Islamic conquer by Omer bin El-Ass, the canal was excavated to hold the name the muslim caliph instead of sezostrees, Red sea, whose landmarks faded a way over time. El-Q'baa Keswa passed

by Suez on a carvan every year in a pleasing carnaval for the Hej to Hegaz".

"Omar bin Katab planned to connect the Nile rally to Hagaz to a void starvation happened before, he called for Omar bin El-Ass to discuss to the matter, then More complated the project, ship passed the muslim caliph Gulf, till the revolution of Mohamed bin Abdullah bin El-Hassan bin El-Hussein bin Ali bin Abi-Talib, against the Abassi, which caused Abu-Ga'fr El-Mansour, the second Abassi calip – to order to landfill the canal, to bacome badomen as of such date".

- "Salah El-Din El-Aioby ordered his brother El-Adel to construct a navy of Acacia trees which surrounded Suez and El-Tour" that navy sailed to confont the salibi navy, sent by Arnold, the governor of El-Kars, to threaten El-Madina (the town of prophet 200

Mohamed, may pray and peace be upon him) which takes one day journey. The aioby ships followed him at Gawzaa" at Hegaz coas and destroyed his ships and captured hundreds of soldiers.

People accustomed the Hij oute which begins at Berkit El-Haj, in which there a lot of stores that sold requirement of the Hajs, then the carvan moved towards Suez passing by Beweeb, Hamra, sheik Dakroury and Agroud.

- In the era of the sultan El-Nasr, Mohamed bin Qaloon, a well and waterwheel were canstructed at Berkit Agroud, then the sultan El-Nasr Hassan construted besided them, four water sources for the Hajs, they were renewed by Qansouh El-Ghoury who also added amosque and acastle to guard the route. *

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*

- Henry the third, thought of digging a canal to connect the Red sea to the Mideternian sea, afterwards the engineer Reshilio offered to luis the thirteenth the idea of the canal.

- The engineer collier offered to luis the fourteenth, the same idea, which was offered hereafter by "Baroon" to Mostafa the ottamani sultan, then to Napleon Bonepart who was told by the campaign scientists, that water level in the Red sea is nine meters over the miditernean sea, so he discarded the idea so as not to flood Egypt.

- When Mohamed Ali ruled Egypt, "the Ellisan simosnianngroup" offered him a detailed design for the canal, which Dclispis got them and could persuade said Basha, the governor of Egypt to begin excavation, in the era of Ismail Basha, there was a legendary festival which kings and princes of the world attended including "uginie", the french empress who stayed Mohamed Ali palace on the Suez old cornich".

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- He let himself to contemplation extending his eyes to "ElKhour"sea to see apassing ship, followed by ahuge one. He entered the room to fetch his magnifying glasses, the first ship was carrying an air carrier, and the second carrying afrigate on which there seemed to be a flag flying to the sky‌ *

*

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(77) To whom secrets of souls revealed, is an intelligent and With discernment but he who revealed secrets of his soul is Nimble Basir. *

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*

- After a long tiring journey, he discovered that he came back to the same persons and places, he wondered saying: what is my fault?

He looked as if he achieved nothing, he felt depression and reget, he bacame sure that wisdom may come sometimes out of pain or suffering, and alienation may be some kind of treatment or treatment itself if nece ssary, how could he be a captive in love of his town? Nothing can make him feel happy, a lot of people came to the town daily from every where to strive for earning their living, the town youth look in sorrow, unsatisfying with living there, something broke in his soul but he doesn't exactly how to express, it became a mixture of different motives‌ he felt sprry, he no longer becomes eneryetic, he may be rational, Are they manifestions that promise the happy dawn? It 'll be so for sure, from which purification and love come out, there 'll be no dodging or deception its words 'll be from heart to heart, unlike those

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expressed by the tongue but not go father than the ear, as we see daily false kisses and repeated words which lost their brilliance.

- He was about to stand to look again at those old plateause he keeps still since his childhood in family house, hanging on the wall of sitting room and on which there is a line of verse reads: our true words support us, but our false behaviours are as harmful as a snake.

- Those ideas occurred his mind unconsciously he didn't pretend, but it was absence of mind mixed with worry which often ends by taking a pill or two of stillents, he used to keep to a void half – headaches that he suffers from occasionally, He usually suffers heaclach on reckoning matters so deeply especially if he felt defeated, unable, intentionally insulted or narrow subsistence, he used to hightigten his dignity since childhood.

- He wondered, how can't he feel comfort in his homeland? He couldn't find happiness with his brother, at home, in love or in friendship except with Samy, he no longer feels enthusiatic to say or do anything. He doesn't respond quickely to his colleagues speech, he tried more than one time to be positive and active with all people around him but he failed, on bed he isn't relaxed and always attacked by despair, he can't forget about insignificances he lives in with people or even in his sololiquoy, in evenings and long nights, he gazed at darkness of the room, under flash of the street lights which goes through his window, he thought deeply of his life and what he achieved in his work and life with Fadila El-Tohamy who hated all kinds of virtue, even his brither who didn't know principles of brother hood and his friend Aref who became notorious lately.

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- He considered what he benefited from his love to people and his industrious attempts to break borders of hatred… he remembed but rare moments of happiness all his life long, he may lost hope… what can he do? What caused all this sadness and discomfort? Is it out of lack of money? At all, his financials improved, he thought once that his wife was in sore need to money… when he got money nothing remained but sore memories…. What is the outcome of strive and going here and there, day and night if there was no a smile from heart? All these exhaust and trivials are useless as if he was watching a comic film, all last months long he always felt sorry unless he indulged himself heavily in some matter or atiring work and with friend, indeed he has no close friends but Samy, to whom he used to let his deep soul and what he suffers of depression and reluctance, he was never to think of letting anyone into, but this frustration made him to speak out so as not explode…

- Samy looked as if he were a candle illuminating darkness for him, on sitting with him he feels that he has a deep have and openess to life, his belief in god motivated him for going on and survival, he always remembers some of the holly Qu'ran reads: "those who are patient on thick and harm". *

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(78) - Corruption, treason, and disoder are that inspired the nationalist to seek purification, sincerity and discipline. *

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- Sheik Samy 's sympathy with his friend 's loneliness and sufferenings, made him close and always tries to get him out of his sadness by having oudoor walks, as he always, they sometimes meet In the mosque, at work and at home. This time he said to Sadek: "I'll have lunch with you today" - You are welcome.

- Sadek wandered in the town to find himself near to "ElArb'een" mosque, it was nooning prayers, he entered to say his prayers, on getting out, he was attracted to the fountain near to the middle Island, He looked at the landmarks and remembered what happened, the train rail near to the mosque was removed, to be replaced by adouble road. Also he remembered huts which were close to the rail, "El-Darisa" buildings, food store which sold for the cheap, piles of rubbish thrown here and there which 205

they no longer exist, the road expanded to and fro which by turn caused happiness and confort to people.

- The view changed completely but the old one still occupied his mind before he travelled. The old market consisted of agroup of huts existed all a long the rail which was said to be demolished years ago and the goods train 'll be a way for populated areas.

Those huts queued habhazardly all the rail long, which disappeared out of piles of dusts and duilding wastes, carried by carriages and transporters which made a landfill of the place, every seller had a fixed wooden carriage or a table on which they put fruit and regetables, in order to protect themselves from heat and weather overturnings in summer, they used apiece of rough cloth or linen held by a post in the middle and sustained by hard sticks from sides or bars of iron, few them had aready made umbrella.

- Seller didn't a gree with localities about how to prepare another places because they stayed in the old market temporally, and at the end of the day, they left their places and collected their goods well so as not to be stolen if they contained something valuable. There were different noise and voices of sellers continuously, they competed by mixing voices to call customers for their goods and asked good to them to sell all they had before the sun set. *

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- Those who go to the fish market in the old "El-Ansary" district resemble those who go on an imaginery perilous journey, they have to take care and not to occupy themselves looking at fish stands and pots of different shape and size spreading at their foots so as not to bang their head to a low unbrella while walking in this 206

narrow passage or slip their legs in pool of water scattering here and there. In the market you set your eyes on blessings of the sea where kinds of Fish feeling and walksher fish Whiteness of different size Albulaamith also, there are light fishes accerding to fishermen including bear, sahelia, banana and Bagha whose way of catching is called "shanshella". Sadek saw the small red fish which is called Tinfoil that he appreciates unlike his wife, at the left, he saw a stand full of fresh Sobia, whose appearance suggest that it came for "Anbak", a name given to sore lakes, according to the seller, it 's a tasty distinguishing kind, it's high price hanging on a sheet of paper in the middle of stand, excited Sadek.

- All buildings changed completely, at far sight, he saw stores of the new market, "Elansary", of circular large shapes, he didn't feel comfort for wasting such large area of that building os a land. Floor only that are stores, it's likely - In the future – to rebuild this market to be exploited horizontally, to appoint parking areas and other facilities, he saw iron gates at four sides that allows pedestrians and small carriages not more and from which other vehicals can't get through.

- Sadek continued walking to explore the rest of the market, in the miaddle he found a small building in which there are a police station, small cafĂŠ-de-area, small mosque and a water closet, and at which one can sell all four entrances, as he was exactly in the middle, followed by entangling circles, larger and larger within which there are wide oassages leading to the outside.

- Stores in the middle are filled with customers, at the four gates direction, sellers scatter to attract crowds of customers who come through, there are stores in the outside directions.

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- The entrace he saw a police man, hilding a small stick, whose mouthache is distinguishing enough to occupy his fat face, he looks at a woman selling lemon on the floor, besides Parsley, dill, horseradish and watercress he cried her out while biting ared peach, he snatched of aneighbouring carriage, his mouth drops erupted to stretch to Sadek's arm: "stand up, Rehab, look for another place, it's enough, do you think you bribe the authority for one pound? *

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*

- There are two departments for fish and regetable in the market, small stores are close enough to each other as they were attached, he gave a glance at kinds of regetables, he thanked god deeply that despite the ever – increasing population, the government complains of day and night, there are plenty of products which over needs, it's no doubt something wrong with the income distribution.

- He saw a view which wasn't usual before the "setback", representing in women who sit on the floor, to sell chrimps, fish and Althobaa in large pots, fish is often fresh, especially kinds of Mullet and the drilling rig and Alsijan as they are sold day by day.

- He saw a familiar face, a fish seller who had a store in the old market, the man says: "for sure we are in Suez, oh seidy El-Gharib, give us providence, he always stands by us in wars, I didn't leave Suez, we ran out of water, people felt so thirsty, we knew of a well in "Khawaz" street, we ran there, we entered the workshop of "Mahrous", the shoemaker, people crowded, sheik Hafez Salama recited Qu'ran at the corner, there were a lot of shoes on the floor and shelves, we found a wooden cover we held it to see a lot of shoes which carried a way, it was so dark, we needs lamps, some one gave me a lantern but its light was weak, I stretched my head 208

and looked beneath to find out water, I came down using arope, water level was low, it was extremely dark, the sheik asked for sugar, we surorised, then he threw it down in water, which shortly after, came up, people, what amiracle!".

- One of sellers called Sadek by name, Sadek looked and greeted him, the man showed him fish in a smile, Sadek admired its rariation, on which the man scattered smashed ice, which reflectednawonderful silver colour, Sadek obediently responded to the man who fetched him a big fish, and weighed quickly saying: - Basha, it's Sinjari - It's O.K. - The seller handed it over to an apprentice to open at the back a long with its backbone, to be cleaned, stuffed and grilled.

- The man smiled to Sadek while giving him the sac after cleaning it, saying: I wish it 'd be tasty, Basha.

Sadek paid pleasantly saying: Thank you.

- He crossed to the other side to a void pools of water that fill the place out of drainage block and water resulting from the melting ice and spraying water on fish occasionally unless it 's so hot that those small sliding pools end due to evaportion. *

*

*

- He saw an old man in eighties, holding acassette on his head before vegetables cart, Sadek came to busy some of his needs, he listened to adialogue between the old man and the seller: - Long ago the goods train reached its destination in full, near to"Elkhour", the port located here, goods were held down from "sana beek" to be tranported on carriages to the train or vice versa, the train 209

passed by the market carrying sugar cane, potatoes, onions, tins of cheese, butter and black honey from upper Egypt. Oh how fantastic the summer was, it aws the season of Al-arishi water melon, as young boys we enjoyed its taste which we still remember, it was extremely delicious, when we felt satisfied, we broke it into pieces to hit each other, we were naughty boys, they are unforgetable memories. *

*

*

- He carried the big fish, when he reached home, he put it in the kitchen, he changed his clothes to prepare the fish for cleaning, he smelt it automatically, moments later, the bell rang, it was Samy who smiled to him, Samy's features turned over, and looked reluctantly saying: - What is that smell?

- It's a big fish, I bought today.

- from where?

- erom a seller I know - you know?

- yes - it smells bad‌ - it 's impossible - why?

- He is a friend - He cheated you, its smell comes out after melting of the ice!

- it's horrible - He smelt the fish to make sure he felt worried saying: - it 's extreme dishonesty! *

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(79) - Modest and simple appearance must relate to pure and fine essence, then get rid of your selfishness, to burry your desires.

Aroid falacy or deception, to purify yourself a ay from misfortunes. *

*

*

- El-Rays Gamal offered his son in law Mo'men and his brother Sadek to go in a voyage on which Sadek a greed gratefully, because it appealed to him to refresh his memories about Attaka, Adabya, and Elein El-Sokhna, the road now entails a lot of civilized features‌ - He didn't go there a long time ago or see its fantanic beauty which became well known recently, he saw it at far sight in golden water or blue sometimes, which has different colours by the day, it's said that El-Gharib came to discover it for us and build around, rarely do waves became high, it's often quiet stillent water most of the year in contrast to the sea in Alex which is known for its violent waves which splashes incredibally to reach ears of people sitting a long the wonderful cornich. *

*

*

- Sadek a ccompanied his sons, Magdy and shoukry as well as his father in law, El-Tohamy, who welcomed the idea, there are fantastic 211

places all the road long, at the right there is Attaqa, electricity station, two minutes later in a car, one sees a yafit at the left, near to the beach on which, he reads "the national institute foe sea science and fishings", he recalled the place a long time ago before the "setback", when it was called" water creatures museum", wasn't sicle. In front of the institute, there is "Suez steell co.", all the road long they enjoyed braze of the sea, it is three k.ms long by the car, till they saw fishing boats flags which look brilliand and proud, Sadek hoped to draw them but he didn't have a plateau, brush and colours, to a wake of such dream by the voice of El-Rays Gamal saying: Here we are close to El-Adabia" port…

- Before reaching "El-Adabia", there were remarkable notices of companies of the north gulf development, near to which, at the right, they saw "trust textile co.", ice factory, international chemicals co., sinia stone, El-Belbeisy co, El-Attal steel co., and a lot of other ones… *

*

*

Al "El-Adabia", they parked to make for the beach, brilliant smiles appeared on their faces for such voyage they do for the first time in a fishing boat for some days….

- One of El-Rayes Gamal colleagues was waiting and welcomed them, Dr Mo'men asked El-Rayes Gamal: - Where 'll we sail?

- In the gulf.

- He pointed the ship waiting at the end group of other ones bu the platform, they made for a long wooden passage stretching inside water some meters far, they waited a little with some fishermen and the crew, then they came down in a small boat to

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reach the ship, while hearing the high engine sound, they had to speak loudly to hear each other. *

*

*

- On the board, El-Rayes Gamal showed them their accommodation, they got into a room in which there was two floors bed, small wardrobe inside the wall, and a w.c behind the door, in the front there was an oval hole overlooking the sea with the blue wonderful water.

- Sadek's son wanted to come up the roof, El-Rayes Gamal welcomed, they all came up to watch the panorama around them, Dr Mo'men asked: Are their particular times for fishing?

- El-Rayes Gamal replied: - No, we know fishing sites well.

- Sadek asked interestingly: Will we get over the gulf?

- No we have a license inside the gulf as far as Hurghada a bove the wind, other boats can catch over the wind.

- Beyond Hurghada - A bove the wind, one can go as far as Baranis and Marsa Alm. - Do you sets of communication?

- For sure, it's very important, I see you are somehow worried, doctor, to be assured you 'll be pleased, good's willing, don't care a bit, there is a new satellite on the boat.

- Mo'men wondered: - A setellite?

- Yes, it show the way we go and return in the sea.

- Are you the only to have that set?

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- No, most boats have a new one to follow and record places beneath water, it draws the sea map to demark the sane boat or planes to a void, we know our way well.

- How do you know fishing sites?

- First we know fishes catchment areas by using a "scandle" which shows deepths, to appoint the place in which we can catch s lot.

- Fish prices increased in the town, Rayes Gamal.

- Some sellers buy fish El-oboor market in Cairo, to sell in Suez!! *

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(80) - How can I cscape fear that frighten hearts, they are eternal thoughts occur my soul forever, they are old and endless. *

*

*

- The man told them some true tales and imaginery one too, for instance he told about the ship entering the port years ago, it eas full of rats, when it drove to the floating basin to be repaired and maintained, rats escaped as there was nothing to eat, they floated over water to the beach to scatter in the town.

- Sadek asked about "Abu-Elfawrs" ship, to be reported by El-Rayes Gamal that on its board, there were 45 fishermen, it was so stormy so the ship lost balance and couldn't stand, waves bacame as high as mountains, it sank deep in the gulf, more than 30 meters north of Ras Gharib, it was "ashanshella" ship.

- What does "shanshella" means, Rayes?

- It catches by night using lights, it catches "El-Nour" fish, Sardin, banana fish and bear one, it prepares nets by day, at the night, lanterns light make schools of fish gather‌.

- there are 84 shanshella boat set off "Atika"‌ 214

- Our boat rescued three small boats belonging to "Abu-Elfawrs", we make hot "Hellba" for the crew and enrolled them in blakets, we tried to communicate wireless with the ship leader's brother, also we tried to call by the mobile phone but it was off, we discoveed spots of gas over water, we used afloating ropne to draw it at the metal part, but it was so deep beneath the sea, on "Abu-Elfarwris". There were men from Rosetta (Rasheed), and Ezbit Elboury but most of them from Matrya, Dakhllia".

- Attentively, accidents increased recently, "Rafik El-Hariri" eas assisinated, one thousand of shiaa died on El-Ameaa bridge in Baghdad out of overcrowdedness - El-Rays Gamal replied: Don’t you remember those who died in sharm…. 88, catastroph…

- He continused laughingly: - Congratulation, the president won a new presidential period!

- He added: - I didn't tell you the accident of "Ashraf Abdu" - Fishing boat?

- Yes, I still keep the journal, - He let his hand under the pillow to get the journal, he handed it to Sadek who began to read loudly.

"Al-wafd journal, 16th, sept, 2005,: they earned their living… more than two years when "Abu-fawris" sank before Ras Gharib in the Suez Gulf, in which more than 40 fishermen died, they were from Kafr El-Sheik and El-Burlis, the scenerio happened again to "Ashrf Abdu", on which there were 22 fishermen from the same places mentioned, it sank in the same location, three sea miles south of the town, it was stormed by high waves which it couldn't stand but few

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minutes, fishermen jumped in the sea as they lost all hopes for calling help.

- They swam for long distances withstanding waves, most of them held tight compy wooden plates, water pots and all what can float of the boats remains, some of them could swim more than 13k.m until navy men of the general petroleum co. saw them before Ras Gharib port, while withstanding waves, they hurried to resue them, fishermen were extremely exhausted and lost balance, they were carried to "Ras Gharib" hospital with the rest of their colleagues" - Let's go back, you frightened me, my dear! *

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(81) - Keeping one 's mind a way from corrupt opinion, supports good hopes, the enternity of spirit after flesh vanishes, is the eternal survival. *

*

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Elsheik Samy invited sakek to attend the prophet Mohamed's birthday festival, saying: Don't be late, I'll be the reciter to night.

Sakek accepted the invitation replying: - My soul is thirsty, inspiration is the most important providence in life, you make me feel the life truth.

Samy laughed deep from his heart saying: I feared that I'll make you emancipated from life one day!

Sadek replied: It seems you really control over my life.

- Dpn't you know that love is sometimes a killer? I love pure heart - By the way, one question sometimes occupies my mind.

- What is that?

- How can I leave life peace fully, no sorry about anything?

- Samy said: 217

Long life for you, you don't commit sins - life is short, I'm certain about that - It's destined, death is a face, occupy yourself with supplication to god, move, don't keep still as long as you do so, don't feel sad. *

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*

- In that pleasant night, lights of the large mosque of seidy Hamza were illuminated to attract those who pass by at the road coming from petroleum companies, and the road crossing or towards the road to Cairo, deep in faisal city all the road long.

- On coming near, Sadek was fascinated by the white colour and so hight four minerates which look like thoseof El-Harm, the mosque occupies a large area where Elsabah and El-Eman districts as well as Nasr road meet where there is apetrol station on the other sade.

- Inside the mosque, he raid his head to read pieces of the Qu'ran written by "El-Tholeth" hand writing on the walls he looked around to enjoy such beauty at the end of the higher citcle in the middle, to look again and again, their were in blue enclosed in a thin red, besides embroisements in green and yellow to add more brilliance and attraction, he gazed as they speak because they were written on brightening background on which he saw mirmitures, and Arbisque windows lined with coloured glass which reflects rays of the sun to flash different colours.

- After prayers people sit around for supplication, one of the attendents. Gave a booklet for every one, the place emitted a mysterious a dour, they all recite El-fatha", then they read: "May pray from Allah in all cases apparently and mysteriously, be upon Mohamed, the prophet to whom heavenly secret revealed openely, and divine lights in the sky represented in his holy 218

qualities, to whom heavenly facts uncovered, and knowledge, Adam received, was given, which people aren't to be given capacity to understand, because no one can get to grips with those celestial secrets, May Allah aggrandize the prophet?

- Then Samy begin to enchant sophestic verse: - I care for nothing but you, you are obligetions of prayers and worship your beauty so fascinatiag that I care for nothing but it, your secrets in my interiorties and heart while supplication.

- Attendents expressed admiration: *

*

*

- On seeing fire at far sight, I promised my family to get aflame, I made for it hoping to run into guidence, When I came near, it was of Allah who speaks to my heart.

- He continued: - Mountains cracked out of force of revelation, no one before me got to those secrets, I became Moses of my time who spiritually unified, I'm poor and rich in a time, Mercify my humiliation!

- Attendents repeat: "Allah‌ Allah", one of them felt fainted, Samy repeated in different ways eroking, whose harmonized with recitation and clear voice as if they drank heavenly water of the unseen. *

*

*

- When Samy finished, they all began to recite in soft roices: - I want to be attached to you again and again, it inflames my longing, - take my heart to investigate whatever you like, 219

If you found one elso but you, set me to the utmost torture, - Attach me more and more, it 's as fascinating to lovers as the feast, - Another group recited sophestic verses in sweet voices as if they were angles who go round in love pulpet, on saying: Oh water bearer, come to us, give us a full cup.

The cup is the sweetest, the wine is the dearest, drinking is tasty and satisfactory, Forget your clashes, it's a pure fine, drink pleasantly, The one who had even a drop, in his life long, became adarwish!

It was given to disciples before by Taha (Mohamed), on smelling it’s a dours, their eyes shed heavy tears - At last attendents repeat the call for forgiveness: "you are my good, not one but you, you created me, I'm your supplicant, who keep your promises as possible as he can, I disown and regret at all my misdeeds, I admit your blessings you gifted me, and own up my sins, forgive me, No one can forgive those sins but you as you are the most gracious and the most merciful". *

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(82) - People go and fro, time turns up and down, All is amixture of different colours, but circle come back to its point of departure, to which all other things come back too, - Coming back to the origin is comfort, Discomfort is a point of departure, it is an eternal desting. *

*

*

- Mrs Mahasen saved no effort to stand by Nader all possible means, it was apparent in all conflicts with his brothers, she tried herd to help him not give just apiastre to them so his wealth scatters according to her, she always supported him whether he is right or wrong.

- One of her relatives who works for mport and export company, helped Nader to be an agent for akorean cars company, he sold the old exhibition to buy a new one overlooking alarge square, it is enclosed by wide glass gates, its walls brighten inside and outside, embroised by chandliers in different areas, white lights were put over glass doors and punches of flowers spread here and their for the day of inaguration.

- In the a waiting day, Nader prepared to make afeast for the company owners who 'll attend, in the "Red sea" Hotel overlooking 221

Port Tawfeek and the canal, the feast 'll be held at dinning room in the last floor so that can enjoy apanoramic view of passing ships, Port Tawfeek parks, and part of sinia at far sight, which decorated by the "Nawris" over flying ships.

- tables were full of different kinds of delicious dishes, there was a grilled lamb at the table breast enclosed by dishes of rice mixed with nuts such as pistachios, besides appetisers like varied picklings such as vecjetables salad, and tahini, and smashed eggplant and barout, bottle of mineral water scattered here and there, bear cans, and refreshments all over the table, they enjoyed having all those dishes while te waiter was standing near by so that he could satisfy what they ask for quickly, when they finished, they began to speak and clean their teeth, the waiter fetched dishes of smashed rich (Mehalbia) embroised by nuts and kernels, which they swallowed impatiently, while spoons made loud sounds. *

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*

- Destiny was more surprising than imagination, although Sadek didn't let his inner secrets out, he was astonished of such surprise that Nader got to.

- Shortly after coming back to his home, he felt extremely exhausted and fainted, he threw himself on the bed, when his wife tried to a wake him short time later, he uttered no word. *

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(83) - In despair, he is hope, when we ask for his help in troubles, he opens the doors of celestial gifts to be full introduced, waiting for no favour, his providence enclosed universes, he doesn't authorize the force of control or long for it, he doesn't suffer from desives which souls eager to. *

*

*

- It 's the custom of life not to care for anyone whether he is a great or aa humble man, rich or poor, it has the ability to renew itself and waste a way all living it, it renews what is a bove and under its dust as god gifts it secret and fascination, it cries over no one but the good if they are burried‌. "It 's much ode for nothing" - On the way to tombs, Sadek let his imagination uncontrolable, New tombs are some kilo metres far from the city, on the public road, such proverb occupied his mind all te way long among those crowds who came to see his brother off, his brother who left life while he was waiting for glory and wealth because he became an agent for car company.

- Memories of the past or even recent one, occurred his mind in all details, he exberienced.

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- Although Nader cost a lot of money and suffering to get a baby, he was destined to obtain so, -Sadek contemplated his destined life, god gifted him education in which he did his best to a chieve success (theortically), he finally became adistinguished engineer on the third technical rank to get his salary every month that it was to low to help him in engagement and marriage, he married a girl who is a sister of his deceased brother's wife under the patronage of that deceased brother too, shortly after honey moon, he felt no happiness, to face heavy duties out of lack of money, his mother in law was nosy, causing him divorce his wife in the long run.

- Nader tombs, he parked his car to go on walking in foot, every now again he curled his lips saying: "God's Grace", he shook his head a bit as a sign of sympathy and surprise of life wonders and desting, he said to himself: "No one takes more than his lot". *

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(84) - People come and go and time turns up and down, all is amixture of different colours. *

*

*

- Events followed quickly like rain, once an events ends to be followed by a new one, in crossed or uncrossed lines or endless circles, life goes so variant and different.

- At the enterace of adminstration, Zaki Wasel advertised piligrimage of the tribal assosciation he belongs to and became its president, at the stairs he met Maher carrying a tray of coffees which emits the afantastic smell, Maher stopped Zaki saying to him: I don't know that Hej fees increased as such, Zaki wondered: How much do you have, Maher?

He answered cunningly: Thank to god any how!

- Zaki smiled saying: You can do hej of first class which is for businessmen, and stay in the tower building of Maka!

- I'll buy goods from Hejaz, 225

- What a chance, we 'll as you know, travel by ship - How generous god is! *

*

*

- Sadek told El-Tohamy, his father in law about the Hej arranged

by Zaki Wasel as the assosciation president, to which he called all adminstration amployees and their relatives, and privilagws are to those he booked first.

- El-Tohamy said: I've never been to hej!

- I'll reserve for you and your wife, is it o.k?

- Is it true?

- Yes, - I don't mind, I wish I could do Hej. - El-Tohamy was happy about such invitation as he likes travel, he hoped to do Hej before being too late - He continued saying: - God may gift it me to fulfil worship - Mahasen agreed on doing Hej especially it 'll be ship, she changed completely out of her doughter Fadila's death, she used to read Qu'ran, and keep prayers as possible as she can, she said to El-Tohamy: - I'm like Abdel-Wahab, hate travelling by plane‌ - She began to saffer from povirty in joints of which she was terrified, in recent years, she was kind to her granddaughter, Salma, she took care of her‌ Sadek reserved two application forms for Hej for El-Tohamy and Mahasen. *

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*

- In a winter day early in December 2005, the time for setting off was appointed, Sadek went to the port to see El-Tohamy and 226

Mahasen off, as wells as his collegues, who travel through the assosciation, every year. The port activities increase in the Hej and Minor Hej (Omra) season, he embraced Zaki Wasel, Maher and others, it was warm farewel! *

*

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(85) - Misfortunes never occur unless they are followed by oulets, Happiness always come with hidden sufferings, It's eternal and ever running around circle, who then can know the end border? Who then recognizes a fix principle in the light of which he realizes the luck clestined, so be aware! *

*

*

- When the Hajs came back that year, Sadek was in his effice streching his legs on another chair as if he suffered from joins pain and roughness stuck to his knees, praising all what belongs to the past.

- In his Journal, his eyes set on the hights of the year before: Birds flu, king Fahd's death, assasination of Rafeek El-Hareery and the U.S.A huricanes.

- He was watching T.V with no attention, to be attracted by apiece of news: - The anchor said that El-Salam 98 ship, broke down or something like that.

- He kept still before the T.V, he spent a sleepless night.

- The ship sailing from the Suadi Dabaa port, to Safaga port, Sank.

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- Samy looked at shrouk saying: - It's strange!

- What is it?

- You didn't go to Hej with your husband!

- He saked for that, but my mother want some one to watch over her.

- When 'll Zaki come back?

- I don't know, he told me nothing!

- Samy said: - I hope no one of them had been on the board of such sank ship!

- El-Tohamy rang me up to tell that he 'll come back on "El-salam", but which one?

- what is its number?

- He didn't tell me, I know nothing about them, he continued saying anexiously: - We are to make for Safaga to know even El-Tohamy or any one we know, aven't on board, I think they need be rescued any way‌ - Sadek looked sad, saying: We 'll go together, God's willings‌ *

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(86) - Storms blew up but they remained just amoment, - Lightning illuminated, but it was just in no time, It's the existence nature in the heaven and earth. *

*

*

- At the surface of the blue water, he stretched his sight far to distances which entail secrets of the sea, the waiting people feel hot and cold in different degrees, they crowded in that tiny spot on the beach, enclosed by policemen, in that cold evening of february, their minds were busy imagining the challenging depths in which the ship sank gradually surrounded by monsters of the sea of different kinds, it 's for sure they ran into delicious meals of those victims who sank deep under water to settle at long last in the dark bottom filled with sea bats, the night fell down, people whispered, they illuminated lanterns, they didn't stop talking through mobile phones loudly to reassure their relatives‌ - Sadek felt extremely cold as if it were snow penetrating his bones, his body shivered, Samy gave him a blanket which he took gratefully, he said while his lips were shivering: - It 's extremely cold, what can they do now?

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- Samy replied: - What can we do?

- At that moment, there was boat sailing towards the beach, from which soldiers came out carrying sacs or sheets which can't be recognized out of darkness, but they liiked white, they handed to each other on that wooden bridge leaching to the beach, all people were domminated by stillness, terror and fear.

- He saw a ghost coming in darkness a mong other ones got out the living finally, enclosed by blankets, some of there was on carriers.

- At the end of the bridge surrouded by soldiers, Samy cried: "it's him, it's Maher he is hallucinating what 's wrong with him?" he looks unaware of those around him, he doesn't look round, his eyes keep still, he seems absent minded, he heard his low words: "No ..No, nothing remained and El-Tohamy is no where… I lost all my life long savings, 120.000 L.E, what a catastroph..! all people are no more, Zaki, oh, where are you? Answer me back by god, listen to me… you are here… your tyrany, your black long beard… forgive me, I couldn't get you out, you are overweight… where are you, answer me back.. all has gone… where are you? The sea swallowed El-Tohamy, fishes fleshed him out…." *

*

*

Maher weaped, Samy embraced him to calm down… God, help you,,, his astonishing looks worried people, Sadek felt that Maher hasn't recognized them yet as if he returned from ancient time or he was hardlly new born, he look to that.. scattering world meaninglessly, he didn't mention even a name either Sadek, Samy or any of colleagues…

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- Every now and again, he tried to speak loudly, it may to reassure he is still a live and kicking, but he spoke to himself in a low voice: "oh Maher Abu.seria, May god compensate you… oh my beloved Tohamy… where are you?

Oh Hassan, give me the bag, take care, the sea is black, it 's so cold my dears… take care, waves are high, all 'll perish, no way - Occasionally Maher said in aloud voice: - Egypt was sold, savings are no more… nothing remained, my torn heart… the bag has gone, save me, Hassan, hold ElTohamy, El-Yohamy sank… save me…

- Sadek felt sad and fainted, he can do nothing, he about to fall down, he overcame himself, and sat squad, he began to smoke a cigeratte given to him, he looked down, he couldn't his tears, he finally said to Samy: - Let him relax, survivors are in the ambulance and the bus to be carried to the hospital. *

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(87) The wise heart doesn't go astray, so he a chieves his goals, He doesn't control his ambitions by unnecessary matters which don't make him sad if he lost them, Nothing is better than what is destined. *

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- People talked a lot about the ship, it is the hour subject for the young and the old, the literate and the ill lilerate, it became astigma for the homeland! When we all realize our duties and rights, how could such horrible accident happen? Is it carelessness as usual? Or is it desting on which we attribute all catastrophes?

- In the morning, employees gathered in sheik's Samy office, they were eager to know what happened, the horrible accident was given due attention by all people, who keep in touch with hour by hour, it destroyed victims bones and flesh, his eyes set on a Gulf satellite channel, he watched a T.V interview with survivors: "survivors are to not imagined they survived‌" One of them said: 232

"Nothing remained, it 's incredible I'm a live and kicking, a heavy smoke emitted from the floor under, then we saw water coming out from many trunks, it filled the place, board of the ship became like a swimming pool! It seemed that drainage was blocked, the ship dexlined.. we felt horrified, we looked for a way of rescue‌ first they tried to reassure us, but when our fears became certain, there were hustle and bustle, all looked for arescue, they told us to wear jackets, we did, then they said they controlled the situation, we took off jackets, we asked "what 's up"? please we need boats but it was difficult according to them, it was too dark until quarter to two o'clock, the ship declined more, we heard a loud explosion, we heard cries and children and the old weaped, it was terrifying, all ran aimlessly, passangers feel over each other, mothers holding children by arms, they began to slide on the leaning board, they dived, waves swallowes them, few of them that came up to the surface, so often dived once again, I held arubber boat, I saw a child sinking before me as he left his father's hand who sank too, I wanted to help him, to rescue him but in vain, I can't saw a plane, at six amilitary ship arrived, they warned us not to get down water, they drew us by one by one‌."

- Then other survivor said: "I threw myself into the sea, my back to water and my face to the sky, god inspired me to put my fingers on my nose, I was shivering, my muscles were so exhausted that they couldn't move, it was sunset, I said my prayers, "El-Zohr" and "El-Asr", I used to read "Tabark" sure of the Qu'ran rescurers didn't come so far, it occurred my mind that it's Friday in which god satisfies our supplication, May god save us soon, it's all up to got, I remembered my son, about five a clock a plane arrived, I continued snorkling a 233

lone, I became far from the ship, planes kept flying all around, I looked for the lantern but in vain, and I found the whistle.. I felt so exhausted, the lantern was tied, the night felt down, I was a way from them then aboat came, we whistled to each other but waves were so hight that we couldn't see each other, they finally found me, I was attracted by a rope to the boat to be taken to the rescue ship, they rolled me up in blankets, they washed my mouth, and soon they gave me food and hot tea, they injected me to relax my pains, and gave me a medicine as I was dizzy and fainted. *

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- Peasks and bottoms are supported by one base, the sound harmonizes with the echo, the coming follows the past, so saints are always satisfied. *

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- In his office, he sat waiting for the sun light which comes in a definte time, to expose his legs and back to its magic and free effect which he wasn't to know its importance as a young man, he realized such effect due to the cold that went deep to his bones in the mischivious evening he spent on the beach, a prey to fearful whims and fears, such hateful waiting which seemed as if it were a chapter in tragedy. *

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- Magdy Sadek Abu-Elyose finished his university studies, and joined the obligatory recruitment, aeter the death of his uncle Nader, his brother Shokry came back from Cairo to support his father and became in charge of the bakery and the car exhibition in herited from his uncle.

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Sadek said: - take care my son, Money and sons are the most two important things in life, but don't make an aim of money, you are to choose the good not vice versa, try always to be have consciously, always make your heart supplicate to god" - we finally inherited money that is originally your grandpa's who in turn inherited from his father, life has many ups and downs, it's wisdom we took from our ancestors‌ *

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- Sadek was signing some papers for Shrouk, he whispered to her saying: Be patient, may god help you.

- Thanks to god.

- What 'll you do?

- She brushed his tears saying: I don't know? Don't you feel remorse?

- Me? - Yes, you, didn't you receive my letter but you didn't reply?

- I wanted to take practical steps.

- How‌?

- you don't know I came in person, and agreed on cutting down my salary when the employed came back to the Suadi Arabia, but I didn't do any thing as they were other arrangements, I was to a chieve first.

- How come?

- My father was about to die, however I planned to do what we together thought about, didn't your colleaguesntell you?

- Yes but they said to came to congratulate me on marriage!

- You are still shedding tears‌ 235

- He gazed at her and continued: So you loved him…

- I just envy my ears…

- - Really…?

- Don't you know so far?

- I though you forget me after marriage.

- He – may god mercify – treated me badly, he was into levent like his family.

- So, fer, I knew nothing about your marriage life!

- Except for you I talked with no one about my private life, and now only..

- He consoled her saying: I hope I hadn't disturbed you!

He monologued and past longings evoked in his heart, what is destined by god, 'll come true no way. *

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(89) - Some unseen in a hidden cower, has the perfectness of the existence beginning, before the creation of the heaven and earth, it is floods of divine secvets, blocked by shores of silence, not to be revealed for no one but the wise. *

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- few monthes later after that sorrowful accident, he dreamt about a very high structure as if it were a tower which the hugher it is, the narrower its area becomes, he stood on its soft roof, a bove a circle whose diameter not more than three or four meters wide, it was without demarking side walls, on looking down he felt terrified, he saw nothing but cloudy marks, there were no obvious features, it was too high, the surrounding vacum was so thick and large that it pinpoints nothing around even wide roads, nothing remained but thin black strings whan can hardly be seen‌.

- His eyes set on a beautiful girl beside, she was nice but her sudden appearance surprised him

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, he was pleased deep in his heart despite fears attacking him, she caught his hand while looking at him, he caught her hand too, she moved as if she wanted to dance with him but pretented to be self collected…

- a chill abrupted him, if his foot slides. He 'll be no more, his body 'll vanish, his features 'll disappear completely, he was certain that he 'll fell down, his body 'll ram violently, it may be on a metal surface of the asphalt, or it may be lucky enough to fall in water of any kind it doesn't matter, but he for sure 'll feel pain, he supplicated for god to save him from suffering which about to make him mad due to thinking of not more, on such highness he let himself to doubts, he mind nearly stopped, she gave him a tender and lull smile saying: - what 's wrong with you?

- He tried to collect himself replying: - Nothing…

- At last he saw apaved road around which crowds of people gathered, among them he saw his father's bright face smiling him optimistically, he saw children holding punches of roses and flowers, emitting lovely smells towards him, his father said: "come in… destinies opened for him door which was closed in the past, he can come through easily now, his saw his beloved's face, after a long time, he felt that he is self realized although much of his ago spent… he a woke he optimistically said to himself: you may make up for your lost ago through such promising happiness in which one month or a year may be better and luckier than a lot of years. *

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- As usuall he sat on his balcony to have a cup of coffee, he watered plants in hanging pots, which he enjoyed looking at, he breathed breezing scanty air, he felt refreshment filling life so that felt esscassi enclosing his life, twitters of birds attracted him, he looked Eucalyptus tree in from of his house as if he saw for the first time, he no longer feels pain in his joints, he suffered for the last monthes since he came back from "Safage", life doesn't care for no one's departure, also he was confident that man's life is short it isn't long enough to withstand sadness or extreme happiness at a time, he remembered the two improsoned soldiers' story told by his father to him as a young boy, it came up to the surface of memory irrestably, he felt that his senses are harmonized with people, things and events, he listened to Abdel-Haleem singing: - How can I forget about tears of my eyes and my heart's amazement. They always earger to your sweet torturel and despite trying to escape many times, I come back again to you I hurry to look for you before you come to me. *

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(90) - The high tree is the outcome of a small grain of seeds, the high building stretching to clouds is based on stones and sand, one thousand mile distance begin with one step. *

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- He was so optimistic and pleased, pure blue water is still dancing, small waves are still lulling in arelaxing flow, the sun light is still brightening in golden, small pieces of white bright clouds go around sun rise moving relaxingly we have nothing to do admiration and amazement, they all appear over the so wide sky that means that man is tiny in the most accurate universe. Some thing occurred his mind in that moment, contendent, he felt gratitude to god as he destined man to live long for hundreds or thousands of years so as not to unfair or tyrant against other creatures, may god curse those tiny phaorohes or the tyrant who try hard to blind our eyes, cut our tongues and fill our ears with clay‌ - You can't change the tyrant's nature, if he lives long, he 'll establish his rule and dectatorship to control over all the world's 240

resources, he 'll leave nothings to his subject or people but odds and ends, if he is to distrubte subsistence, he 'll leave nothing for the coming generations, people 'll be subjected to humiliation and misjudgement for a very long time if he keeps dominating resources of life and reches, he 'll keep controlling over the pass for long times.

- He recalled all events, Maher revisited health security clinics, he was examined by the psycho analyst who recommended finally that he is be checked by mental diseases hospital in Abassya where he was kept to be remembered by no one but in rare times. *

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- In a small party for the couples, few people attended including Dr Mo'men, Leila, Sheik Samy, three colleague, and the bride's family, it was as sweet as a dream.

- Sadek felt peace of mind and happiness, his bride's speech made him feel escassi, as if he talked to himself, why didn't destiny went as such, deep in his heart, he wished he had been the first and the last man in her life, she overcontrolled his heart, her emotions towards him was like ever flaming fire, encourging him to keep a live, doing his work as he likes or more‌ - His eyes were attracted to apassing ship, moving slow as usual, there was an area extending between Elkhour and the canal which witnessed no projects so far, it 's still a virgin land, he feared that a sudden unwise decision issued abruptly to put end to enjoying such expansion and calmness, it need wise mind, pure heart and clean hand to turn into an international tourism area, or flourishing parks and gardens, coordinating wide streets welcoming citizens, he was busy minded tooking at the far sight until the ship disappeared.

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- He felt he wants to apologize for the town, although he didn't tell the truth in details, he told what happened not more, he wished he had been anarrator, but it 's enough to know that god created the good and the evil to be in conflict for ever, excuse my town for what I wrote.

- Deep in his heart, he let his mind uncontrolable, his soul wandered in love, he was eager to come back to the nature, the sky, water and the sea beach, he looked the sunset, it is not hot, it turned into yellow, it drew a wonderful plateau, whose purple colour extended through piece of clouds, it was about to disappear behind the mountain while its rays were reflecting on water.

- He imagined he took off his clothes and climbed "Attaka" mountain to throw his body willingly and happily about the hidden hope, to mix with air, sand, and water, to melt and purify, to over love life, people, hope and the town he a dored, to sacrifice himself for sake of salvation, from the summit of the mountain, his body fell down to mix with the nature, he felt he a chieved victory while falling down fainted and pleasantly, giving a very loud cry, but no one answered him back.

- The body declined to water to disappear gradually beneath.

- His sight was attracted to over flying birds' competition, as if they a ballinairas parodaying their wonderful abilities to fly high, they flew in harmony so that they ram or touch any other birds, they don't emit smoke or pollute the space, He kept gazing at them while going a way gradually till they disappeared completely behind such far horizon. * Aug 2007

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- Chapter prefaces are of taoism which is one of the most ancient religions in India, it still exists so far, it dates back to the 6th century B.C, its basic concept represents in back to the nature. *

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The auther (Biographical notes) Dr, Reda Saleh Dermatologist, Suez- Egypt.

- He published in the following websites: Elnhar – the Arabic novel – ofuk electronic magazine – the modern culture magazine (Iraq) – the free Arabian – the novel magazine website – Awtad website – Ibso magazine website (the free culture – Iraq) – Besan magazine website – the novelist website – the (ultural) "worsha" website. * He published in the following Arab journals and magazines: - Al-arbi (Kuwait), Dec. 2005 Aug. 2007 - The new culture (Iraq) - "Laha" magazine (the Suadi Arabia) 243

- The cultural Jazeera (Reyad) - Local and national journals: - Literature News - El-Qahira (Cairo) - El-Wai (Suez) - The other opinion (Suez) - The Suezi (sawyssa) (Suez) - The Suez voice (sawt El-Suez) *

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Other issues: - What a woman! (short stories) – keraa publication house, 2006.

- Agonies of atown (novel) – Bai't El-yasmeen pub. House * lssues to come: - "my days there" - the white coat stories (novel) - "Out of order"

(short stories)

Email: redasaleh51@yahoo.com - Ph.no: 01002416478 *

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The translator (autobiography)  Zein El-Abdeen Said Mohamed  License of Arts, English department  An authorized translator for unesco publications center in Egypt, where he contributes in Translating the following issues and magazines: 244

 The international museum  "prospects" in education  "the international" for social scial science  "Diogens" in philosophy  "The nature and resources" * Translated works:  Future for Marxism "ARweqa publishing house, Egypt.  "Digital Modernism" "ARweqa publishing house, Egypt.  The Roman stage "The national Translation center – Egypt - His novels - Ezbet El-Rayis "Dar Agiaal Sharqia – Egypt.

- "Extremely Extraordinary" - "Dar Agiaal Sharqia – Egypt.

- "Endless winter" - Arweqa publishing house – Egypt - He published his articles and short stories in: - "literature and criticism" – Egypt.

- El-Jassera – Qatar. *

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