INTIMACY AFTER 50

by Laurie-Beth Robbins

Sex is marketed as the almighty elixir of ecstasy and lusty sips to quench our quest for affection. Yet, the craft of coitus can be daunting with age and as off-putting as a rot gut glass of vino or host of experiences we tolerated when younger.

Oddly, some sophomorically proclaim that “Sex is like pizza,” in that, “even BAD sex is still pretty good.” With all due respect to those who carry this manifesto or promulgation in their arsenal, (and to those who eat pizza), there is NOTHING about “bad sex” that makes a pantomime of feigned passion enjoyable. Sparing ourselves from disappointing intercourse becomes worlds easier when an emotional maturity outplays the mere veneer of youth.

For when we have learned to inextricably love and appreciate our own being and thus body too; and gotten comfortable with the excruciatingly uncomfortable fluctuations which emerge physically with age, we dance with such shifts as our beauty and accrued power. Sex is now taken to a new and palpable somatic tier which our younger self would never have held a confident command of or understood. Like a fine libation, which traveled thousands of years through cultivations, adaptations, and sips sampled prior to reaching your glass as its "best," sexiness isn’t contingent upon our years though it’s amplified immensely by the hard won resilient fortitude, selfrespect and self-awareness lending to the big feature movie of LIFE!

That’s a mighty different beat to move and groove to than “Pizza Sex” if you ask me.

Laurie-Beth's tips for better sex after 50:

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Be upfront and proud of your age when engaging sexually, letting your partner know that they're dealing with someone grateful for life experience and for the honor of connecting with them!

Don't attempt to hide or cover up physical signs of age when having sex. Your lover knows you're not a virgin or mere teenager, and nothing is sexier than someone confident in their own skin.

Listen to YOUR body (and your mate's) and allow it to move naturally the way it can. Posing or pursuing bedroom acrobatics which you witnessed actors in their 20's perform on the big screen will make you appear more contrived and damn foolish, and serve as a buzzkill to what would have moved smoothly by keeping it real.

Apply ALL of your well honed senses - from words and touch to fully engulfing the person you are with - via attentiveness and the "present" focus that you were too shy and nervous to deliver when younger. (You're not there to constantly check yourself in the nearby mirror or to check your cellphone between orgasms)!

F*ck like an adult! If one wanted a young and awkward hookup, laden with drama, they would have chosen one. Hence be secure, mature, and let your sweet person experience the allure of your ability to calmy adapt and improvise with any situation that arises, and make them feel comfortable.