R29.50 (VAT incl) Other countries R32.00 Namibia N$32.00
MAY 2016 / NO 447
REAL SHOCKING ABORTIONS "THEY GAVE ME MY DEAD BABY TO BURY AT HOME"
4 WEEKS TOA TIGHT TUMMY
50 PAGES OF FASHION & BEAUTY
Trending Hair: Shaggy cut, cornrows and more styles to try now
All your winter must-haves
9 770256 469005
05447
HOW SOON CAN YOU MOVE IN WITH HIM?
The real reason she's leaving Generations again PAGE 68
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May 2016
LATEST TR RENDS
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16 20 22 24 26 28 30 32 34 36 40 42 44 46 48 50 52 54 56 58 60 62 64 66
Ed’s letter The turtleneck k Minimalist The flat shoe Green palette Luxe leather The white sneaaker Wild wild westt Bomb squad Breath of fresh h air Folklore Fur, puf and boots Star style – André Leon Talley Beauty news Backstage repo orter Spot on In the nude Vampire diariees The survival kiit The shaggy cutt Oil cleansers Edgy cornrowss Multi-maskingg Big hair
REALITY 68 Cover story – The T rise and rise of Connie Fergguson
74 Celebrity – Sinnger Ciara 76 True story – Nomachule N Gigaba
BODY & SO OUL 79 80 82 84
Health buzz Mind power – Be thankful Four weeks to a tight tummy Health – Warning signs
ON THIS PAGE CONNIE WEARS: COAT MANGO BOOTS ALDO ACCESSORIES COLETTE. ON THE COVER CONNIE WEARS: DRESS CINNEL ACCESSORIES COLETTE
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Makeup that virtually erases the need for makeup. Clinique has a breathtaking range of shades, formulas and finishes. Even Better™ Makeup creates a more even skin tone instantly, and over time. Dark spots disappear in an instant. Clinique’s #1-selling foundation. In 26 shades. Learn more at clinique.co.za Even Better Makeup SPF 15 Available at selected Edgars, Red Square, Foschini, Truworths and Stuttafords stores and online at www.clinique.co.za
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Introducing
FAR AWAY INFINITY
04973/E/TL
Go as far as your imagination will take you
www.avon.co.za
Fashion trends come and go, but for me, style will always sustain you. This is something I picked up from my mom and aunts who’d die for fashion. They’d do anything to be on trend. For them, it was: ‘be the best dressed or go home’. Dressing down didn’t exist in their world. I’d be fascinated when they compared who was wearing what, and how they’d co-ordinate their outfits. I loved it. It was a big deal. Evenings at my grandma’s were a mini fashion show. Everyone would line up outfits for the next day, fit clothes and find the perfect shoe, bag and accessories to match. Now that I think of it, that was their take of what style is. Every piece of item was referred to by its designer name: ‘I’ll match this Ferragamo with the Versace shoe and Moschino belt,’ you’ll hear one of them say. That’s why my understanding of fashion and style became about the designer label first, and the actual fashion second. When I started working and buying clothes for myself these women pressured me to adopt to look at all times. One time one of their friends went as far as to compare my style to my mom’s, I took this as a challenge to find my own sense of style and I did. Then I met my mother in-law, another label queen. She’s the type who’d assess you by what you are wearing. With just a slight glance at you, she’d know exactly which fashion era you were channeling with your outfit. I’m quite petite, so she advised me to look to the Italians, the epitome of ultimate style, because they’re built the same as me. With a very sharp tongue, you’d hear her say, ‘this one is wearing a fong kong,’ to much laughter. We all have style icons like these in our households, and the memories are no diferent. Fastforward to Autumn/Winter 2016, where trends are not a big paycheck away. In this issue, we’ve put together everything you need to be stylish now. From afordable finds to lust-worthy splurges, there are no limits and there’s absolutely no excuse not to be stylish this winter. My personal highlights in this issue is the reinvention of iconic styles from the likes of Jackie O, Tina Turner and Miriam Makeba who all gave us the best classics, which we still mix and match with today’s trends. It’s also exciting times at TRUE LOVE as our website has undergone a much-needed facelift. Expect daily news and videos on entertainment, celebrities, fashion and beauty, easy recipes and lifestyle. Simply log on to www.truelove.co.za for the latest. Here’s to another bumper issue with all the Autum/Winter trends, expert advice and useful information to get ahead in life. Enjoy the read.
HELLO FRIENDS 16 |
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| WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
IMAGE Nick Boulton HAIR AND MAKE-UP Faith Seuoe STYLING Mbali SogaTOP and JEANS Zara SHOES Aldo NECKPIECE Democratic Republic WATCH Michel Herbelin
TL | Ed’s Letter
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Try our easy and light recipes at every chance to spoil mom. We also give you more quick meals to prepare after a long day at work.
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WINTER'16 Edit
FASHION & BEAUTY COUNTDOWN Here's to the latest RUNWAY TRENDS: the BOMBER, staple BOOTS, luxe LEATHER and all that GLITTERS. WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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WINTER
R4 899 Jigsaw at Edgars
JACKIE O
R1 500 Steve Madden
THE FIRST LADY
R999 Mango
R159,95 Ackermans R399 Witchery
The new staple, the TURTLENECK, is a winter must-have. By Mbali Soga
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R795 Pierre Cardin
BEYONCÉ
The ’70s were characterised by sweaters, turtlenecks, feminine silhouettes cinched at the waist and oversized sunglasses. At both J.W. Anderson and Dior 2015/2016, the turtleneck was given a luxe modern interpretation with metallic zippers and all-over-sequins. The trend is perfectly timed to coincidewithacurrentfocusonwoman power, epitomised best by Beyoncé in her music video for Formation, with her dancers rocking leather turtlenecks. Here are our tips to pull of the look: 1. Replace the classic white shirt with a svelte black turtleneck. Wear it with an everyday staple like a pencil skirt. 2. Invest in a bold-coloured turtleneck to pair with a coat. 3. A cotton version of the turtleneck is best worn under blouses, sleeveless dresses or tunics.
R4 490 Prada at Sunglass Hut
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Ackermans (011 883 7276) Edgars (011 685 7000) Mango (011 783 7907) Pierre Cardin (011 786 1519) Steve Madden (021 590 7000) Sunglass Hut (011 325 4366) Witchery (021 418 9893)
EDUN
R1 399 Mango
R1 999 Karen Millen
R1 199 River Island
R899 Charles & Keith
GO FLAT OR GO HOME CHIC and PRACTICAL FLATS are taking over the oice.
R829,95 Pierre Cardin
JENNA LYONS
By Mbali Soga R379 Zara
R699Trenery
R1 999 Karen Millen
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AUDREY HEPBURN
R1 199 Nine West
WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
| 2016 MAY | 22
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Charles and Keith (021 551 1023) Karen Millen (011 784 2937) Nine West (011 467 6895) Pierre Cardin (011 786 1519) River Island (011 214 7781 )Trenery (011 290 2500) Zara (011 302 1500)
The androgynous look has taken over our workwear wardrobes, and flat shoes are flying of shelves. You can go for a sporty chic look in a range of sneakers or take a direct borrowed-from-the-boys cue with classic loafers or brogues. J.Crew’s Jenna Lyons is an ace when it comes to making workwear look cool. Learn from her style and dare to rock a suit with sneakers, or pair a leather jacket with brogues. It was style icon Audrey Hepburn who first showed us that flats are chic. On the runway, Gucci’s fur-trimmed sliders and Prada’s futuristic loafers are items to own. Pair yours with midiskirts and printed dresses, or go masculine in structured and tailored pieces.
MICHAEL KORS
Edit
WINTER
Edit
WINTER STELLA MCCARTNEY
R650 Mango
R1 399 Charles & Keith
R120 Woolworths
The minimalist Let your outfit do the talking with ELEGANT andd STRIKING PIECES.
BIANCA JAGGER
When it comes to minimalism, Prada is th he fashion giant that brought the aesthetic to liffe in the 90s. The key to mastering this trend is tto choose one anchor or statement piece. Go for a colour like white, grey, charcoaal or black, and build your ensemble around or that palette. We look to Bianca Jagger fo inspiration: her trademark tuxedo suits and tailored jackets demonstrate efortless chicc. Tailoring with oversized silhouettes and asymetrical lines is the trend on runways. We loved the boxy jackets by Phillip Lim and wrap waist trousers by Victoria Beckham.
R1 399 Country Road
R699,95 Edgars
R9 200 Karen Millen R2 390 Clarks
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R529 Zara
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Asos (021 551 1023) Charles & Keith (021 551 1023) Edgars (011 685 7000) Karen Millen (011 784 2937) Mango (011 783 7907) Woolworths (021 938 1911) Zara (011 302 1500)
By Mbali Soga
UNIQUE AS WE ARE Celebrating the uniqueness of every woman
Life’s little luxuries, hand-finished from sterling silver and 14k gold. Sterling silver bracelets from R899 & charms from R499. Available in Concept stores, select Edgars and multi-branded Jewellers countrywide. Discover the new collection at pandora.net
PHILLIP LIM
R199,95 Free 2B at Edgars
R399 Foschini
R599 Woolworths
Earth-conscious lifestyles are taking over the runways as a trend towards ‘dried herbs’ becomes the norm. Clothes are going brown and green in tribute to nature and the outdoors. For Elie Saab’s readyto-wear range, expect sleek jumpsuits and mini dresses with matching jackets and boots. Roland Mouret opted for a vibrant shade of green, mimicking fresh herbs. Welovetheso-nowbomberjacketworn with dresses. The best interpretations are by Phillip Lim and Tom Ford, where army green has been paired with a mix of animal print and opulent fur, like a street fashionista in uniform. G.I. Janeinspired clothes dominate, so don’t be shy to bring out your inner tank girl.
DRIED HERBS The new workwear PALETTE is shades of brown and greens like olive and emerald. By Mbali Soga
POR Asos.com
R759 Zara R499 Mango
R1 199 Topshop
R1 599 Nine West R349 Witchery
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IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Asos (021 551 1023) Edgars (011 685 7000) Foschini (011 685 1400) Mango (011 783 7907) Nine West (011 467 6895) Topshop (011 685 7070) Witchery (021 418 9893) Woolworths (021 938 1911) Zara (011 302 1500)
WINTE ER
R679 Pierre Cardin
R2 299 Witchery
LUXE LEATHER
R3 799 H&M
Leather has been on our radar for a while.The fabric is now taking over in EXPERIMENTAL SHAPES. By Mbali Soga
GIVENCHY
Remember when all you needed to look like a punk rocker was a biker jacket – like Tinaa Turner in leather overalls on the cover of her album Love Explosion, or MC Hammerr in leather harem pants and cropped jacket? Today, leather is not just a stage piece butt a staple. Designers like Altuzarra, Louis Vuitton and Saint Laurent Paris have used d leather on tassled dresses, skinny pants and risqué mini skirts. Instead of trademark k black, the material now comes in emarald, aqua and caramel. d AndfashionlabelsAlexanderWang,ElieSaabandNarcisoRodriguezhavepushed theenvelopebyworkingwithdiferenttextureslikepleats,layersandfloralappliques. When rocking leather to work, pair it with classic pieces such as soft blouses.
R629 Zara
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Edgars (011 685 7000) Foschini (011 685 1400) H&M (021 826 7300) Pierre Cardin (011 786 1519) Witchery (021 418 9893)
Edit
WINTER
R2 499 Jigsaw at Edgars
R399,95 Kelso at Edgars
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NENE LEAKES
R450 Foschini
WW25941/E/1
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IT TAKES A SPECIAL KIND OF WOMAN TO LOOK AS GOOD AS SHE DOES. TREAT HER AND
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MAKE r DAY M O T H E R ’ S D AY 8 T H M AY 10
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1 TUBEROSE & ORCHID WRAPPED SOAP 45.00 2 FAUX FUR SNOOD 225.00 3 WITCHERY KIRSTEN ROUND SUNGLASSES 499.00 4 VALETINO DONNA FROM 950.00 5 SYRUP WAFFLES 6 PACK 18.99 6 STUD TRIM CLUTCH BAG FROM 250.00 7 AMARETTI VIRGINIA 69.95 8 UNITY FRAME 120.00 9 CLIP-ON STUDS 79.95 10 NECKLACE 99.95 11 MIMCO ABSTRACTO SCARF 499.00 12 LUXURY CHOCOLATE SELECTION 149.95 13 COUNTRY ROAD DRIVING GLOVES 549.00 14 WITCHERY LIAM SNEAKER 999.00 15 MIMCO LOUVRE WIDE PANAMA HAT 499.00 Prices are correct at time of going to print. Products available at selected stores while stocks last.
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Modern silhouette Pull of this chic look with a pair of sneakers and a feminine silhouette like a pencil skirt or a straight-line dress. Add a soft coat for understated glamour.
R1 790 Ray-Ban at Sunglass Hut
KENDELL JENNER
R4 899 Jigsaw at Edgars
R3 299 Trenery
R1 299 New Balance
POR Steve Madden
In the navy
R1 499 Stan Smith x Adidas
Arguably the MOST VERSATILE SHOES, rock yours at work or on a date.
JENIFFER LOPEZ
By Mbali Soga R599 H&M
R1 199 Country Road R600 Foschini
R699,95 Converse RIHANNA
Classic cool
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A Friday workwear staple has to be a pair of distressed jeans and a smart blazer. Give it street edge with a pair of white sneakers. MAY 2016
| WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Adidas (www.adidas.co.za) Edgars (011 685 7000) Foschini (021 938 1911 ) H&M (021 826 7300) Nike (www.nike.com) Steve Madden (021 590 7000) Sunglass Hut (011 884 9950) Wolworths (021 938 1911)
Navy and black are the perfect complementary colou urs. Ofset the combo with crisp white sneakers.
DDB SA 43832/E
The Chuck Taylor All Star II Neon
Available at selected retailers www.converse-sa.co.za
it
WINTER
R899.95 Edgars
WO ORLD WILD WEB
R759 Zara a
It’s wild w in the cyber world right now. Don’t miss out on fashion’s must-follow Snapchat accounts:
WILD, WILD WEST
Take a cue from WESTERN BLOCKBUSTERS for this season’s COWGIRL TREND. By Mbali Soga R149 H&M
R3 300 Calvin Klein
Joan Smalls: Our favourite model right now, her account boasts quirky videos of her at exclusive gigs, and behind-the-scenes clips with fellow models Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner. Song of Style: This fashion blogger is no stranger on our timelines. Her account is a live version of her blog. Think outfit-of-the-day inspiration, her closet, and travelling details. Alexander Wang: The talented Mr Wang has taken to his account several times to give away designer pieces. He also posts behind-the-scenes pics of him and his favourite model entourage. Rihanna: Welcome to the Rihanna fan club. RiRi gives us sneak peeks of shoots, her latest music, her daily outfits, and some of the other starlets she mingles with. Man Repeller: There hasn’t been a more quirky, fun bunch of girls than these. Like their website, they don’t take fashion seriously; it’s about girls messing about in pretty designer clothes. That’s what besties are for, right?
R599 Salsa
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RIHANNA
R299 Woolworths
JOAN SMALLS
GUCCI
R599 Foschini
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images; Instagram STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Edgars for Calvin Klein and Salsa (011 685 7000) Foschini (0860 104 764) H&M (021 826 7300) Woolworths (021 460 2800) Zara (011 302 1500)
R129 H& &M
R1 399 Zara
R159,99 Mr Price
R1 069 River Island
R5 000 Replay R1 849 Mango
BOMB SQUAD This larger-than-life JACKET will always be trendy. This time it has more BLING and SWAGGER.
POR Second Time Around
By Mbali Soga R245 Game
From rappers MC Lyte and the late Lisa ‘Left-Eye’ Lopes to hip-hop girl group Salt-N-Pepa, the bomber jacket was the go-to item for all women in the ’90s. Patchwork leather, shiny silk or just plain denim, the bomber used to be a staple. For an on-trend look, cut-of shorts or leggings and a pair of Timberlands would be worn. Fast-forward to 2016, and the item has returned. Spotted on the Winter and Spring 2016 runways of Tommy Hilfiger and Phillip Lim, this jacket is the season’s new luxe item for the fashion community. Give your winter wardrobe a rebellious edge with our favourite selections of this souvenir jacket.
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THE SIGNET A signet is a pinky ring. Not just a fashion statement, it’s worn to indicate wealth, style and, of course, street cred!
R3 999 Dear Rae
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Dear Rae (Dearrae.co.za) H&M (021 826 7300) Mango (011 783 7907 ) Mr Price (031 310 8000) Replay (011 884 6727) River Island (011 214 7781) Zara (011 302 1500)
R1 499 H&M
TOMMY HILFIGER.
t
WINTER
360D/GREENCROSS/TRUELOVE011/E
Love being in your shoes
We design our shoes to be stylish and comfortable so you will love wearing them.
www.green-cross.com
WINTER R
House of Holland Nails by Elegant Touch in Glitter Star R89,95
ASHISH
Catrice Absolute Eye Colour in My Name Is Pearl R49,95
R799 Charles & Keith
Essie Frilling Me Softly Glitter Nail Polish R124,95
M.A.C Irresistibly Charming Pigments Set R800
Steal the spotlight in sh himmery METALLICS and LIQUID COLOURS.
R879 River Island
From eyelids to hair and lips – gold and silver dust is the talk of town. The trend has been forecasted by L’Oréal Professional as the “it look” of the season. At the Ashish Spring 2016 show, models sauntered in matching eye, hair and nails metallic appliqu ue. For the Barbara Bui Winter 2016 sh how, we saw liquid gold eyeshadow with fo oil imprints. And we swooned over the glittery lids at Anna Sui. Whether you go o for glitter, metallic pigments or shiney eyeshadow, a sprinkle of wonder dust is all you need.
R800 Superga
ASHISH
R1 050 Queenspark
3
POR Net-a-Porter
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2016 |
WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Clicks (0860 692 274) Charles & Keith (021 551 1023) Dis-Chem (0860 347 243) M.A.C (www.maccosmetics.co.za) Net-a-Porter (www.net-a-porter.com) Queenspark (021 460 9400) River Island (011 214 7781) Superga (011 608 0023)
By Mbali Soga
R2 499 Adidas
R1 199 H&M
ALEXANDER WANG
R749 H&M
R759 Zara
R550 Queenspark
BREATH OF FRESH AIR
MARC JACOBS
R2 399 Philippa Green
This STAPLE HUE in porous fabrics goes edgy in LEATHER, STUDS and LACY MESH. By Mbali Soga
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R1 899 Witchery
R259 Edgars
IMAGES Gallo Im mages/ Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Adidas (www.adidas.co.za) Edgars (011 685 7000) Philippa Green (0 21 424 1102) Queenspark (021 460 9400) Woolworths (021 938 1911)
Edit
WINTER
WW25941/E/2
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1
ALWAYS ON TREND. ALWAYS ON YOUR SIDE. SAY THANKS AND
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MAKE r DAY M O T H E R ’ S D AY 8 T H M AY
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1 MIMCO MONTAGE COVER 399.00 2 MIMCO PERPLEXIA SCARF 399.00 3 MIMCO ECLIPSE SUNGLASSES 799.00 4 STUDIO.W CROSSBODY BAG 399.00 5 RED BERRY NAIL POLISH 79.95 6 VIOLET & ROSE PETAL HAND & NAIL CREAM 59.95 7 COUNTRY ROAD JACKIE HEELED D’ORSAY 1 249.00 8 LUXURY A5 NOTEBOOK 84.95 9 ELEGANT BALLPOINT PEN (SOLD WITH A TOUCH SCREEN STYLUS AND SLIMLINE CASE) 109.95 10 INTENSE COCOA CHOCOLATE SLAB 34.95 11 STUDIO.W TRENCH COAT FROM 999.00 Prices are correct at time of going to print. Products available at selected stores while stocks last.
R749 Zara
R129 H&M
R1 199 Country Road
Romani people, otherwise known as gypsies, are nomads who originate in India but made their way to Europe, America and Northern Africa. The migrants were largely made up of artists and magicians whose vocation was frowned upon in India. The main premise of their belief is freedom, and not being tied down to a single place. Their every day garb comprised of long tiered skirts, black ground florals and skull motifs. Many designers seek inspiration from folklore using eclectic prints and ancient embroidery. Think of the multiple layers at fashion house Lanvin. Express your freedom with this winter’s folk-inspired trend.
FOLKLORE
Be a DEMURE MODERN-DAY GIPSY in items embellished with exotic flower detail. By Mbali Soga R399 Mimco
R320 Zuri
R599 H&M
R149,95 Ackermans
R279 Zando
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LANVIN
R749 H&M
R599 Queenspark
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Ackermans (011 8833 7276 ) Country Road (086 122 7337) H&M (021 826 7300) Queenspark (021 4660 9400) Woolworths (021 938 1911) Zando (www.zando.co.za) Zuri (011 883 0918)
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WINTER
95%
of women who tried POND’S Flawless Radiance agree that it gives you Naturally Flawless Even Skin.
AN EVEN TONE BREAKTHROUGH BY THE POND’S INSTITUTE
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PONDS.CO.ZA
P300082303
That’s the POND’S promise.
it
I. NOBI TALA
WINTER
Queenspark R750
Mango R1 199
C(inch) at Spree R279
P U R E OV Replay R7 800
FFER Choose PU nd FUR JACKETSSa for a COAT IC look H HOT and sCubzero come s. temperature By Tsakane
Mr Price R299,99
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Trenery R1 399
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Mrr Price R149
KELLY BROOK
Replay R5 500
H&M M R1 099
Rage R515
Pierre Cardin R899
MADE FOR WALKING
Queenspark R550
For a fashion-forward take, pair ankle boots with kneehigh stockings and stylish shorts. For extra comfort, opt for knee-length boots with an elastic panel alongside the zip. Nine West R1 699
S U O I C I L I T BOO
TAPLES, S H G I H E S to KNE r boot selection. R E K I B Y K u From CHUeNyour favourite from o choos By Tsakane
Ndlovu
TOPSHOP
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Melissa R2 499
Queenspark R699
Nina Roche R5 495
Pierre Cardin R649
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Despite humble beginnings, André Leon Talley has a masters degree in French from Brown University in America, and has been awarded an honorary doctorate in humanities from the Savannah College of Art and Design. He was raised by his grandmother, a cleaner, and his grandfather, a sharecropper, in a racially divided South Carolina. Talley credits his career and love for avant-garde fashion to his grandparents. His grandmother would boil crisp white sheets in a big black cauldron outside every day and ironed everything using a cast iron kept warm by a coal stove. He grew accustomed to her attention to detail. As a teenager, Talley was bullied by his peers for his size, even though he had, and still has, a gentle demeanour. Asked in an interview by W Magazine if he had always known he was gay, he quicky replied: “No!” His strict upbringing didn’t accommodate any sexual ambiguity. In fact, young Talley was actually a boy scout, which he found tedious. But he admits to having loved the uniform. While in varsity, Talley spent hours in the library reading Vogue. That ritual contributed to his vast knowledge of fashion. After graduating from North Carolina Central University, he packed his bags and moved to New York, and squatted with wealthy friends. He made a living by working as an assistant at a local SPCA. One of his friends’ fathers wrote a letter to the Costume Institute of the Metropolitan Museum of Art on Talley’s behalf to request an internship. There, the enthusiastic and determined young man worked under Diana Vreeland – the former
THE FASHION GIANT
Meet ANDRÉ LEONTALLEY, 66, the creative genius who’s contributedimmeasurably to fashion. By Mbali Soga
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IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images; Instagram
Star Style | TL fashion editor at Vogue and Harper’s Bazaar – until he landed his first magazine gig at W and Women’s Wear Daily. Speaking to Vanity Fair, Talley recalled all the subtle moments that made him fall deeper in love with fashion and style: Vreeland would import hair dye for her jet-black hair from Paris to maintain her signature hairstyle; or seeing her dabbing rouge on her ear lobes and topping it up with Vaseline. Talley started out at Vogue as a fashion news director in 1983. After just five years, he was promoted to creative director. Talley, who’s credited for punting black models, left Vogue in 1995 and moved to Paris to work for W as the editor-at-large for three years. When he returned to New York, he went back to Vogue as the editor-at-large and was to remain at its helm for 30 years. During his tenure, he formed a firm friendship with Vogue editor Anna Wintour, and says she’s the only reason he stayed at the magazine for so long. The strength of their bond showed in 2000 when Wintour went on a drive to make Talley lose weight. She enlisted the help of Oprah Winfrey, who forced the fashion genius to get on the health bandwagon. On finally exiting the fashion industry, Talley speaks openly about race being a deterrent for him, even being at the helm of a major fashion magazine. On Winfrey’s show Where Are They Now?, Talley says black people are only given carte blanche on titles that stereotype African-American people, like Essence and Ebony. Talley is known as the man who linked famous black celebrities with luxury designers to prove that, like their white counterparts, they too had influence. He introduced the first black first lady, Michelle Obama, to designer Jason Wu. Remember the white chantilly Jason Wu lace dress Michelle wore at Barack Obama’s first inaugural gala dinner? That was all Talley’s work. Designer Marc Jacobs says Talley’s daring creativity is unique. He can spot any designer’s muse by looking at the models walking the ramp. He acknowledges each designer’s reference and sends handwritten notes to those designers who tickle his fancy every season, to congratulate them on their collections and give constructive critism. Talk about pure dedication to the craft. Talley’s personal style has evolved through the decades. Sometimes he is influenced by his fluctuating body size; other times by the free clothes he is accustomed to receiving as a fashion curator. He has dabbled in the monochrome look, inspired largely by Karl Lagerfeld. Think white oversized blouses with loads of rules. As his popularity grew, Talley turned to tailormade Chanel tweed jackets with layers of neckpieces. Nowadays, his trademark robes, capes and flowing garb show his preference for comfort and serve to camouflage his larger-than-life stature. Looking at Talley’s body size, it’s almost unbelieveable that the fashion giant has kept a relatively low profile. His contribution to fashion is astounding, and his eforts to pry open the doors for all black people in a white world deserve a standing ovation. ■ WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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WINTER LASH OUT Get lush and clump-free lashes with Estée Lauder’s Sumptuous Knockout Defining Lift and Fan Mascara, R345. The wand seperates and lifts to create blackest lashes.
FACE TO WATCH H Willow Smith is the new ambassadres for Chanel. We can’t wait to see what her fashion future holds. Follow her on Instagram @gweelos for a glimpse into the muse’s world d.
All the latest in THE WORLD OF BEAUTY. By Lerato Seuoe
T e
orgioo nii Sii se at ree e m ited R1 970, is i so t th e als nd a kccu no s, s t femin e s nt is seductivve sc su l pow ul.
HELLO URBAN DECAY! Make-up fans, the wait is over. Global brand Urban Decay is finally coming to SA. With award-winning eyeliners and the best-selling Naked Palette, R850, beauty junkies can visit its first store in Sandton Joburg, from May.
FRUITY POUT The new Lancôme Juicy Shakers, R270, are the perfect example of innovation. This ingenious lip product is the first of its kind, with a cushion applicator that coats the lips with a glossy layer of nourishing oils. Just shake and apply.
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BEAUTY NEWS
FIX IT Fix all flaws with Inglot’s HD Corrective Prim mer, R499. The range comes in fivee colours, with mocha especially designeed to hide dark marks and keep fou undation intact. Visit Truelove.coo.za to win a hamper!
GOSH Velvet Touch Matt Lipstick in ‘008 Plum R125
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VERY BERRY Night life doesn’t disappear with summer. Evening outings call for berry lips, which go well with winter fashion. Choose any shade from rich plum to oxblood. Pure Color Envy Liquid Lip Potion R295 P
These are the best beauty trends spotted at the AUTUMN/WINTER 2016 FASHION WEEKS around the globe. By Lerato Seuoe
LET’S ROCK Out-of-this-world make-up is the in thing. Reminiscent of the American rock band KISS, with their extraordinary stage outfits and make-up, bold and funky eye designs are all the rage.
SPLASH OF YELLOW
Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion Original R280 Inglot AMC Eyeliner Gel R224
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Maybelline Master Ink Liner R119,95
LASH IT ON Falsies look great on the top lashline, but can be applied on the bottom one too, as demonstrated by models at the autumn 2016 Selma State show during MercedesBenz Fashion Week in Istanbul, Turkey.
Dark and Lovely Diamond Rich Sheen Spray R37,95
IT’S A WRAP The ballet bun makes its return in a diferent texture, with hair looking damp and glossy. This gets a beauty thumbs-up from us, as does the exaggerated chignon seen at Chanel’s winter 2016 couture show in Paris.
Wet n Wild W MegaLength M Mascara R74,95 M Afri True Jojoba & Argan Oil Polishingg Serum R29,95 Eylure Exaggerate Lashes R58,95
GOTHIC EYES
Avon Mono Eyeshadow in Blackest Black R89,90
CRIMPING IS BA ACK Crimping was a smash hitt on the runway at the Allude show, held as part of Paris Fashion n Week Womensweaar 2016.
MANI-FEST Nails are still a huge fashion statement. The negative space trend is on the rise – this is when a portion of the nail is left uncovered. We are also seeing the classic French manicure evolve as manicurists play with bold shades. SpaRitual Nail Lacquer Mini in Mystic R97
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M.A.C Pro Longwear Waterproof Brow Set R220
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FRECKLED beauties, this is your time! For those without any, FAKE IT USING our easy make-up tricks. By Lerato Seuoe YARDLEY ILLUMINATING PRIMER R99,95
This trend debuted d at London Fashion Week, where designer Preen put sp pots on his models. The make-up artist behind the look drew in nspiration from the sporty ’80s and from Maasai warriors. Too achieve the look, use an eyeliner pencil in various shades of brrown, and make random dots on your face and neck. Spritz a settting spray to prevent smudging, and for a youthful glow,applym minimum colour on the lips and eyes. This look is for the daring among a us, but it’s a must-try for a ‘look-at-me’ feel. M.A.C EYE PENCIL IN COFFEE R215
RIMMEL MAGNIF’EYES INTENSE STAY-TRUE LONG-LASTING WEAR R99 URBAN DECAY ALL NIGHTER MAKEUP SETTING SPRAY R450 CLARINS CRAYON KHOL IN INTENSE BROWN R280
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IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images; Instagram STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Clicks (021 460 1911) Red Square (011 685 7131) Urban Decay (011 221 4621)
ON
Treasure skin’s youth. Discover Platinum. The next technological step to looking younger. A-Firm’s irst real platinum infused anti-ageing formula, driven by the latest skincare technology.
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Rimmel 60 0 Seconds Su uper Shine Na ail Polish R4 49,95 MAC Studio o Naill Lacquerr R150
N Neutral colours are in v Play with EARTHY TO for understated chi By Lerato Seuoe SpaRitu ual Nail Lacquer Mini R97
ontblanc Lady Emblem Mo Eu De Parfum R1 195
Inglot O2M Breathable Nail Enamel R229
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CELINE
Avon Gel Finish Nail Enamel R99,90
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images; Shutterstock STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Avon (www.avon.co.za) Clicks (021 460 1911) Dis-Chem (011 783 9715) Foschini (0860 104 764) Red Square (011 685 7131) Truworths (021 691 4222)
LUISA BECCARIA
W WINTER
FENTY PUMA
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CRACK-PROOF
M.A.C Fluidline in Blitz and Glitz R215
BLACKOUT! Fashion and beauty aficionada and singer Rihanna brought her distinctively edgy style to her recent fashion debut. Showcasing her Fenty x Puma collection, the star wowed the audience with striking Gothicstyle garments, sex appeal, and varying layers of material. Semimatte black lips were the signature look of her female models, and their nails were adorned with monchromatic artwork.
IN LINE
Benefit Bad Gal Liner Waterproof R75
NAIL IT
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IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Avon (www.avon.co.za) Dis-Chem (011 783 9715) M.A.C (www.maccosmetics.co.za)
Drama is the order of the day as DARK, SULTRY MAKE-UP dominates.
FENTY PUMA
Avon Gel Finish R99,90
WINTER
IMPURITIES BE GONE Treat your skin to a quick yet efective deep-cleansing mask. Use in the evening to absorb excess oil and draw out dirt beneath the skin’s surface with the new Estee Lauder Nightwear Plus 3 Minute Detox Mask, R595. FIGHT THE FLAKES Pull of this season’s trending smooth and supple lip look with Lip Ice Paparazzi Plum Limited Edition, R19,95. The balm will also keep your lips hydrated and pretty with its tint and shimmer finish.
OVER THE KNEE This boot is a little risque, but don’t stress! We’ve got the solution to pull it of. If you pair it with a dress, opt for a hem line that stops at the thigh for a flattering silhouette. For curvier women, the boots should stop above the knee to put less emphasis on the thighs. If mini dresses are not for you, pair yours with jeggings or a pencil skirt. You can also wear them over slim-fit jeans.
THE SURVIVAL KIT
Brave the FROSTY WEATHER with these beauty and fashion essentials. By Lerato Seuoe and Mbali Soga
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MANE RESCUE The dropping temperatures will afect your hair and scalp. Switch to a richer formulation that’s designed to moisturise your hair without damaging it. Mizani Butter Blend Moisture Whip R300.
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Clicks (021 460 1911) Dis-Chem (011 783 9715) Red Square (011 685 7131)
FAB FAUX FUR Faux fur is a must to stave of the winter chill – from shawls to jackets and boots. Our muses for this OTT look are the Kardashians.
BURBERRY PRORSUM.
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The shaggy cut took centre stage at the runway shows of Alexander Wang Spring 2015 and Burberry Prorsum Spring/Summer 2016. Called “the shag”, the style has a messy finish with lengths ranging from the ear to the shoulder. The shape may vary, but the loose curl should resemble a mushroom top. It’s best worn wavy, which is easier to maintain. After having the cut, try a colour change. A lighter shade will give you a dramatic look. You don’t have to go completely blonde; highlights or ombre would work as well. Because it suits pretty much everyone, this is great for instant modernity and edginess. For a hairdo that will last the whole season, make sure your hair is handled by a professional who can achieve the required shape and angles of this ultra-cool style.
Layered in DIFFER NT LENGTHS, this is th for if you’re looking fo a style with a MODERN ED . By Lerato Seuoe
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LEE STAFFORD BEACH BABE SEA SALT SPRAY R114,95
GHD CURVE CREATIVE CURL WAND R2 199
E Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied
DOVE PURE CARE DRY OIL NOURISHING TREATMENT AFRICAN MACADAMIA OIL R189,95
STS Clicks (0860 692 274) GHD (www.ghdhair.com)
AFRI TRUE HEAT PROTECTION SERUM R29,95
Elizabeth Arden Ceramide Replenishing Cleansing Oil, R495, suitable for all skin types, reveals a fresh and healthier complexion, an doesn’t clog pores or leavee a greasy residue.
La Mer Renewal Oil, R2 380, helps prevent ageing while visibly firming skin and improving texture. The oil also helps restore the skin’s natural barrier, making it more resilient.
Sorbet Salon Skin 3-in-1 Cleansing Oil, R129,95, removes make-up easily while nourishing the skin with essential oils like lemon, bergamot and orange. It also boosts moisture and radiance.
Oil chemistry Preserve YOUR SKIN’S natural moisture with these OIL CLEANSERS. By Tsakane Ndlovu Dermalogica Precleanse, R630, removes excess sebum without clogging pores, and conditions the skin with fatty acids.
Lipidol Cleansing Face Oil, R79,95, removes dirt without stripping the skin’s natural oily layer. It’s fragranced with rosemary and niaouli essential oils, and is suitable for sensitive skin.
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Advertorial | TL
MILITARY
PUNK
Trench coat R299,99
Biker jacket R309,99
Ankle boots with fringe R515
Black boots R745
IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images STILLS Supplied STOCKIST Rage (011 608 6800)
Bohemian
WEAR IT YOUR WAY
MONO
ADD YOUR OWN FLAIR TO THE RAGE WINTER COLLECTION FOR AN ON-TREND AND STYLISH LOOK.
Blouse R154,99
Jeggings R189,99
Heels with fringe R355 Sleeveless jacket R259,99
For more information go to www.ragesa.co.za
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TRACEE ELLIS ROSS
CRAZY ABOUT CORNROWS Seen on Mrs West, Tracee Ellis Ross and models at the Apu Jan show at Fashion Week Autumn/Winter 2016, cornrows are modified and revamped, making them the style to wear now.
CAIVIL MEND ’N GRO HAIR FOOD DRY & ITCHY SCALP R26,95
CLICKS ESSENTIALS TEASING AND STYLING COMB R22,95
ERYKAH BADU
SOFN’FREE SCALP THERAPY R46,95
DARLING HAIR EXTENSIONS YAKI BRAID R13,95
STYLISH CORNROWS are great styles to protect hair. By Lerato Seuoe MAY 2016
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DAMAGE CONTROL During winter, hair gets damaged, dry and weak. A good treatment is recommended to strengthen chemically damaged strands, and prevent breakage experienced when transitioning. A home treatment using Mizani Fibrefyl treatment, R350, fortifies and restores overall mane health, especially weave and braids.
IMAGES Instagram; supplied STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Clicks (0860 692 274) Dis-Chem (011 233 0400)
MIRIAM MAKEBA
KIM KARDASHIAN
EDGY ROWS 62 |
BLAST FROM THE PAST Look to Erykah Badu and the late Miriam Makeba for classic inspiration. Add beads into the ends of your braids for instant variety. Viola!
39877 studio24 e&oe.
REDUCE BLEMISHES The Bobbi Brown Instant Detox Masque, R800, does what a regular face wash can’t. The intense cleansing formula goes beyond the surface, delving deeper to extract any impurities. It will leave your skin clearer, polished and refined without removing natural oils.
UPLIFT SKIN Elizabeth Arden Ceramide Overnight Firming Mask, R685, firms and lifts the skin. Its formulation is super-lightweight, and it gets to work while you sleep to restore hydration.
MULTIMASKING Applying DIFFERENT face masks at the SAME TIME to target specific skin concerns is the NEW CRAZE. By Lerato Seuoe Masks are an afordable way to improve the health of your skin. The results are instant, especially when applied after exfoliation. The best thing about masks is that they multitask, targeting several skincare concerns at the same time. The skin on the face often gets irritated, so masks are efective in soothing hypersensitivity and replenishing nutrients and moisture. Whether you want to purify and refine pores, or get rid of excess oil, masks are the go-to treatment.
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REFINE PORES The Dermactin-TS Pore Refining Facial Sheet Mask, R36,99, is loaded with ingredients that work at combating dead skin, rough texture and dehydration to give you refined and tighter pores.
BRIGHTEN COMPLEXION Use Kiehl’s Turmeric & Cranberry Seed Energizing Radiance Masque, R465, to revitalise and improve the skin’s overall appearance. The cranberry seeds and turmeric exfoliate and repair the skin’s texture.
IMAGES Gallo Images/Getty Images; supplied STOCKISTS Clicks (086 069 2274) Kiehl’s (www.keihls.com) Red Square (011 685 7000)
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GER LASTING * CARE TRY NIVEA’S RICH, NOURISHIN SEE WHY 9/10 WOMEN AG
MOISTURISES THEIR SKIN FOR
NIVEA.co.za
*Tested in a representative sample of 593 Urban Female Skincare users in LSM 6+
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NOMZAMO MBATHA
HASK MO ONOI COCONUT HOT OIL R4 49,95
HOT OIL TREATMENT Oils have become a girl’s best friend as they’re great for giving hair the TLC it needs. The great part is the convenience as it can be done at home. Heating the oil assists each strand to swell up, causing the shaft to soak up as much moisture as possible. The result is intensely moisturised hair, making daily management and styling easier.
HAIRCARE TIPS
BIGGER & BETTER Keep your Afro in GOOD CONDITION like Pearl Thusi and Nomzamo Mbatha with these HOME CARE TRICKS.
ORS OLIVE OIL REPLENISHING CONDITIONER R97,95
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By Lerato Seuoe
IMAGES Instagram STILLS Supplied STOCKISTS Clicks (0860 692 274) Dis-Chem (011 233 0400)
PEARL THUSI
Follow these tips to keep your hair in good condition this winter. 1. Eat a balanced diet and stay hydrated to keep hair healthy. 2. Comb hair with a wide-toothed comb to stimulate blood circulation and promote growth. 3. Ask your stylist to trim split ends regularly. 4. Deep condition hair at least every two weeks. 5. Hair gets dry in winter. Wear a silk scarf or headwrap at night to lock in moisture.
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Jumpsuit Gert-Johan Coetzee Belt Democratic Republic Earrings Mango Heels Europa Art .
Cove
TH RISE & RISE OF CONNIE Actress and businesswoman CONNIE FERGUSON, 45, recently announced her departure from Generations:The Legacy yet again. She reflects on her exit from the soapie, marriage, and her recent role as granny. By Phila Tyekana Photographs Nick Boulton WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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Pleated top, skirt and neckpiece Mango Earrings Colette
Cover Story | TL t’s Friday afternoon. Connie Ferguson has wrapped up her scenes for Generations: The Legacy and asks me to come to the set at the SABC studios to have our chat. It’s just two days since she made the unexpected announcement that she would once again be leaving the show. It’s a flashback to 2010, when Connie surprised us by revealing she’d be saying goodbye to her much-loved character, Karabo Moroka, after a 16-year run on the show. Then she’d cited wanting to explore new ventures and focus on her production company, Ferguson Films, which she runs with her husband, Shona. In 2011, we saw her star in M-Net’s then new drama series The Wild, and in 2013, Ferguson Films launched the popular series, Rockville. It seemed playing Karabo was over for the iconic actress, so it came as a happy surprise in 2014 when the soapie relaunched as Generations: The Legacy, and she made a comeback. But now she’s leaving again. There’s a celebratory mood when I arrive – it’s the last day before a week-long break from shooting. The crew and cast are about to have Friday drinks, but Connie will join them later. Still in her Karabo make-up, but dressed down in jeans, sneakers and a coat, Connie summons me to her dressing room. “I don’t think my exit is as big a deal as everyone is making it out to be. In hindsight, it’s also maybe because I know I wouldn’t have stayed on for 16 years this time around. My agreement with producer Mfundi Vundla was that I’d come on board to help restart the show after the departure of its 16 lead actors, with my character bringing familiarity and re-establishing the Moroka name. I was initially meant to be back for just a year and not have Karabo take the lead as she did. But it turned out they needed the character more than they initially thought. When the contract expired, they asked me to renew it for another year, which would finish at the end of October 2016. I decided to leave earlier as my other projects – Rockville (season four airs in July), and the new Xhosa drama series iGazi – need me more. We are also working on another project that I can’t reveal yet.” But why would she come back to the show knowing she wouldn’t stay? “I can’t say no to Mfundi, and it was the right thing to do at the time. It saddened me to see what had gone on with the ‘Generations 16’. It broke my heart even more to
see Mfundi, whom I regard as a father figure, be so miserable over the situation. I’d never seen him like that. I couldn’t reject his ofer, especially in the state he was in,” adds Connie. “I also understand that my return may have been perceived as betrayal to the ‘Generations 16’ and their cause. I expected that, and anticipated that some of them wouldn’t be happy with my decision. But at the end of the day, we are all independent freelancers, and I had to do what my conscience felt was right. I’m also a producer and understand how actors’ contracts work. Producers don’t draw up the contracts – broadcasters do. It’s a complex process that isn’t as black and white as it was made out to be.” So is this it for Connie and Generations: The Legacy? Will she come back to the soapie once again in future, or is she saying goodbye to Karabo for good? Connie says she doesn’t yet know if her character will be killed of; if she isn’t, Connie is open to making small appearances on the soapie in future. Did she make a Generations comeback because she feels obliged to the soapie? “I don’t owe Generations anything and neither does it owe me. Generations is home, and I regard its crew as family. Just as I do with my own, I’ll always be available when needed. I know I’ll never completely say goodbye to it, just as I also know I’ll never stay on board for another 16 years,” she says confidently. When we meet, it’s also two days before the debut of Ferguson Films’ new traditional Xhosa drama series iGazi, on Mzansi Magic, about a royal family’s conflict over the throne. On that Sunday evening at 8pm, like most of the country, I was in awe over the production of the show: it’s gritty, scary and intriguing. Congratulatory messages to both Shona and Connie have seen the show trending on social media. “Appreciation for our work is always humbling, but it’s also a lot of pressure as we have to up the ante with each new production. Shona and I are a formidable team and work well together. It was a challenge doing this show as neither of us speaks Xhosa. Extensive research had to be done as the storyline is based on culture. I’m glad we did iGazi; it’s a captivating story. The actors – who include Thami Mngqolo, Zenande Mfenyana, Zikhona Sodlaka and Nomhle Nkonyeni – couldn’t put their scripts down when they started reading them. It’s a fictional story, but we included historical events. >
“I DON’T OWE GENERATIONS ANYTHING AND NEITHER DO THEY OWE ME. GENERATIONS IS MY HOME AND I REGARD ITS CREW AS FAMILY.”
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Phatu Makwarela and Gwydion Beynon wrote the script and came up with the concept. As Ferguson Films, we all worked together to bring it to life. They’re also the head writers for all Rockville seasons, and Phatu writes for SABC1’s Skeem Saam.” At age 45, Connie says one of the highlights of her life is not her flourishing career, but becoming a grandmother. Her older daughter, Lesedi, 23, with former husband Neo Matsunyane, gave birth to a boy, Ronewa, last year. “I’ve always been close to both my daughters, Lesedi and Alicia, 13, but when Lesedi fell pregnant, we grew closer. I was there when Ronewa was born, so I bonded with him from the start. He’s very close to his grandfather; they have an amazing relationship. He is an amazing dad, so I knew he’d be an awesome grandfather. We’ve always wanted a boy, and now we have one.” When Ronewa was born, naysayers pointed fingers at Lesedi, calling Connie out for ‘letting’ her daughter have a child out of wedlock while studying in her last year at AFDA. “Life happens,” the Rockville producer says. “As a parent, you have your own dreams for your child, especially when it’s a daughter, as you want them to gain independence before they have children of their own. But the reality is that we can’t live our children’s lives for them. I had Lesedi at 23, too, so who am I to judge? Having her didn’t stop my life, and that’s what I want to emphasise with her too. The diference is that she has Shona, Alicia and me to ofer support, whereas I raised her far away from my own parents, who live in Botswana. I wasn’t as financially stable; I had to go back to work just one week after she was born. When I found out she was pregnant, I reassured her that I’d be by her side always. She continued with school during her pregnancy and graduated last year. She now works at Ferguson Films.” The actress can no longer have children, and says she’s made peace with it. In 2008, she had to have a hysterectomy when doctors found fibroid growths in her womb. In Generations, Connie’s character Karabo fell pregnant with Sibusiso Dlomo’s (played by Menzi Ngubane) child, but she lost it. It’s a storyline that rings true for Connie, who also had a miscarriage. Her late mother also had a hysterectomy as a result of a fibroid growth in her womb, and helped Connie come to terms with her condition. “My mother passed away in 2013, and often I feel her around me. I’ll see her face and hear her voice in my daughters and through my younger sister, Lerato. On the day Lesedi gave birth to Roneoa, the midwife who was helping us with the birth said and sung religious hymns I knew my mother would have sung in that moment. It was so surreal; I burst into tears. I’ll celebrate Mother’s Day with my children, and I know her spirit will be with us. I was doing Strictly Come Dancing when she passed away; she had come to Joburg to watch me perform. The day before she passed, she sent me a text message saying how much she loved me. She always blessed me, which I loved. I was busy with rehearsals and didn’t answer back immediately, and as the day went on, I got
distracted even further and forgot to get back to her. The next day, I got a call that she had a seizure while taking a bath and died. That’s my biggest regret, and the one thing I beat myself up over. Why didn’t I answer? Why didn’t I say goodbye to her? That’s the one thing that still pains me about her death.” Connie’s face lights up when our conversation goes back to Ronewa. Before he came along, Connie says she and Shona had discussed adopting a baby boy. “Once our busy schedules quieten down and we get to a point where we can aford to raise another child, it’s something we’ll chat about again,” she says. “I’m blessed to have my husband. I have to give my attention to so many things – work, being a mom, a grandmother and still being myself. He’s understanding and supportive of everything I do. We’re selfish with our weekends and make no compromise in spending time together as a family and couple. We don’t often go out to media events as we use that time to reconnect as a couple and with our kids. Things get hectic, but we ensure we never lose touch of each other.” The couple celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary this year. Last year, they held a lavish ceremony to renew their vows. In 2011, they did the same on their 10th anniversary. Their secret to longevity as a celebrity couple, she says, is that they never seek media attention and lead ordinary lives. “Our focus is never on fame or perfection, but on our work and living for each other and the kids. As far as our marriage and children go, I’ve never been one to say that I don’t talk about them. I talk about myself and my family when I feel it’s right, but I don’t go out of my way to make the intricate details of my life known. There’s not much to be known besides that we love each other. What’s amazing about our relationship is that I love Shona today more than when I met him in 2001. We married three months after meeting – we knew each other enough to know we wanted to get married, but we still had a lot to learn about each other. We’ve done that over the years, and because of that, we love each other that much more.” Connie and Shona aren’t shy to express their love for each other on social media. Shona recently surprised his wife with a new Mercedes-Benz AMG. Connie shared on Instagram an image of the car and captioned it: “So I just got home and found this parked in my garage! OMG I really have no words Shona Ferguson! I am one very lucky wife! Thank you for just... YOU! #AMG63s #LoveIsABeautifulThing #ForeverGrateful #LoveLivesHere #Wowza.” Connie credits gym and a healthy diet for her great looks. She goes to gym four times a week, and is never without a bottle of water. Monthly facials are a must, and she never goes to bed with make-up on. Showing business savvy with her body lotion range, Connie, it’s proven to be a booming success, and last year she expanded into a men’s range. Spiritually, Connie is content and grateful. She’s enjoying her 40s, and says they’re by far the best years of her life. She’s living her dream with her beloved, and it seems there’s no stopping her. ■
“OUR FOCUS IS NEVER ON FAME, BUT ON OUR WORK AND LIVING FOR EACH OTHER AND THE KIDS... I LOVE SHONA TODAY MORE THAN WHEN I MET HIM IN 2001.”
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Cover Story | TL
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| 2016 MAY | 73
She was 18 when her mega-hit Goodies came out (“I bet you want my goodies/ Got you all hot ’n bothered”), followed up by slinky R&B pop songs such as Work and Love Sex Magic. She may be a global pop star now, but there’s something about Ciara, born Ciara Princess Harry 30 years ago. The celeb is a private person despite having seven million Instagram followers; she’s an awesome dancer but is happiest at home watching a movie; she’s a high-fashion muse but says her go-to outfit is her boyfriend’s T-shirt. Her sixth studio album – released a year ago – was full of the usual come-hither bangers, but she called it Jackie, after her mother. And best of all, she’s the ultimate sex bomb who is now, quite famously, celibate. Let’s recap. Until August 2014, Ciara was engaged to popular US rapper Future. Together they were the fashionable R&B couple who had a child in May 2014 named Future Zahir Wilburn. But they split when he was three months old amid rumours of the father’s infidelity. Ciara then moved on to American football star Russell Wilson. They got engaged in March, after a year and a half of celibate dating. The contrast in her choice of men is striking: if Future is your archetypal “bad boy” rapper, Wilson is your wholesome hero, the calm after the storm. The Texas-born singer is discreet about her love life – she says she wants to protect her baby. Still, I ask her: What
CIARA AND RUSSELL WILSON AT THE LA FRONT ROW FASHION AWARDS PRIVATE DINNER, A WEEK AFTER GETTING ENGAGED.
CIARA’S GOT THE GOODS
Her top-selling debut album Goodies earned singer CIARA, 30, fame and fortune.Ten years and five albums on, she’s hotter than ever. By Louis Wise
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Celebrity | TL
SOURCE The Interview People IMAGES Getty Images; Instagram
CIARA WITH HER SON, FUTURE, AND FIANCE, US FOOTBALL PLAYER RUSSELL WILSON.
does she look for in a man? “A guy who is God-fearing, loves kids and to travel the world, and a go-getter – because I’m a go-getter.” This is a standard answer, but only a few days after our interview, Wilson had shed more light on the matter: the footballer admitted that he and Ciara were still not having sex, and wouldn’t before marriage. “I ain’t gon’ lie,” he said, with some humour. “I need y’all to pray for us.” And then, to make things worse, Future went on the radio to confirm that he and Ciara most certainly did have sex. Quite what Ciara thought of all these revelations is a moot point. She confirmed that she and Wilson were waiting “until the deal is sealed”, but in general, the singer, dancer and fashion muse is not big on self-exposure. Dressed in all black for our interview, with bright red lipstick her only zip of colour, she comes of like a sexy sheet of Teflon. She is full of good old Southern charm, but as befits the American way, everything is on an upward curve; all negatives are swept aside in favour of a higher purpose. “I like always being on the up and up, so whenever I have a challenging time, I just try to figure out what I’m supposed to learn from it, and use that for my next step,” she says. Still, it’s not as if she’s had it easy. Since her debut album, Goodies, came out and sold five million copies, she’s had her share of flops and hits. She has fallen out with record labels and had to reinvent herself as pop has moved on.
She says her music is “in the simplest terms, R&B pop”, and has worked hard for more than a decade, moving efortlessly between hard-edged beats, sensual slow jams and straight-up pop. All her best songs do that fine one-two that Janet Jackson and Aaliyah achieved before her, blending high-end production with breathy, barely there vocals. They also showcase her peerless choreography. Part of Ciara’s appeal is that glossy, untouchable finish. It’s what has made her a fashion muse to designers such as Riccardo Tisci at Givenchy, Peter Dundas at Roberto Cavalli and Anthony Vaccarello, who designed Versace’s Versus Line. Ciara certainly has evolved: once she wore cropped hoodies and denim pedalpushers; now she’s more elegant. But it’s not so much that she has come to fashion as vice versa. Wearing sportswear chic is her own version of modern glamour: it is the core of Givenchy under Tisci. The designer invited her to perform at a fashion concert eight years ago and they have been firm friends ever since. What does she think he sees in her? “I don’t know, I’m a tomboy. I think I have a strong connection to him because with his fashion you can feel very sexy and be edgy, and there’s still a little attitude to it. I think that’s when the connection comes. I can be feisty, and a little spicy. There’s a consistency with all my friends in that everyone has an attitude, a fierceness, some edge about them, while allowing a woman to feel
like a woman and to feel sexy.” Ciara and Tisci are so close, he customised some Nikes for baby Future, who turns two this month. Having her baby has, she says, “helped me be more grounded. I feel like my son gives me balance. I always wanted to have a baby in my twenties, but I just learnt that you have a baby when you’re supposed to. My son was planned, so that was a great thing. I was prepared for him.” She says her son is the reason she named her last year’s album Jackie, after her mother: “Being a mom myself now, I see the world from her point of view. It’s very fitting. I’m a mini-Jackie!” Would she like more children? “Yes, probably three more. It’ll make life interesting.” She and Wilson are seriously in love, and we can’t wait for them to tie the knot. Last year, he took her to the White House to meet the Obamas. The president is “super-down-to-earth”, she says, as is Michelle, who is “the quintessential woman. That’s how you want to be, the way that they are as a couple, and the way that they are individually. It’s very inspiring.” She’s supporting Hillary Clinton in the American presidential race, but won’t come all out and say it’s time for a woman president. What she will say is: “It’s just time for the world to be evolving.” I ask Ciara how she makes a long-term relationship work, given her fame and touring schedule: “You gotta do what you gotta do,” is the mysterious answer typical of this understated and sexy star. ■ WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
| 2016 MAY | 75
MRS GIGABYTE NOMACHULE GIGABA, 34, wife of Home Affairs Minister Malusi Gigaba, 44, sets the record straight after a woman alleged she had an affair with the politician. By Phila Tyekana
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True Story | TL “I have only one regret about last year’s revelation, when a woman I’d never met before publicly said she’d had an afair with my husband, Minister of Home Afairs Malusi Gigaba. I regret having responded when Buhle Mkhize provoked me. I called her a prostitute on social media, and in so doing, portrayed myself as a petty, jealous woman who goes after Malusi’s groupies. This woman demanded money from me to keep quiet about her alleged afair with my husband, threatening that if I didn’t pay, she would go to the press. I called her a prostitute because it was a fitting word for what she was doing. Unfortunately for me, our spat happened on a public platform. I hate how all this depicts me as rude and harsh. If I could remove my comment, I would. But I’ll never apologise to that woman. I did nothing wrong to her. The assumption is that I found out about the afair and to retaliate, I called her names. What the public doesn’t know is that she started contacting me via email in December 2014, two months after Malusi and I married. Our public squabble happened a year after she started tormenting me via email using a pseudonym and revealing details of her alleged afair with my husband. I responded once sarcastically to one email, thanking her for enlightening me about the matter. I didn’t and still don’t see her or her emails as a threat. I didn’t want to entertain her yearning for fame. If you have a crush on my husband, don’t include me. When she saw I wasn’t giving her attention, she moved on to Instagram to attack me. That’s when I responded by telling her that if she wanted to go to the media with her story, she could. Mkhize thought she would scare me, not knowing how deep Malusi’s and my love is. We met in 2008 and started dating in 2009. He had separated from his first wife then and later divorced. I fell in love with his humble personality. I also appreciate that he’s a pastor’s child as I too grew up in a religious home. Malusi is my best friend, and will forever be my #ManCrushMonday on social media. We chat constantly on the phone as he’s mostly away because of work. We have two sons, Nkanyezi (4) and Mvelo (3), and he’s a great father. As a husband, he’s very romantic; he buys me flowers every week. He’s understanding and knows that I’m my own person even within the marriage. Mkhize accused me of hiding an illegitimate child; I only have my boys. Malusi has a daughter from his previous marriage whom I adore. Mkhize misunderstood my strength. I’m not in this for fancy titles; ours is real love. He’s a public figure and I understand there will be women like this one, so I don’t bother with them. When she ran to the media, it wasn’t a big deal. I was relieved. I had prepared myself mentally a year before she did because she kept threatening to do so. When her “big secret” was out, I wasn’t embarrassed. People make cheating a big deal because Malusi is a public figure, but lots of women are cheated on. Malusi isn’t a saint either. If I had caught him red-handed or suddenly read in the papers
about her, then I would be hurt. That didn’t happen. Instead, she attacked me and has never contacted Malusi. How she connived and approached me makes me doubt everything she says. If she had a relationship with him, it’s between the two of them; why include me? Her plan was to terrorise me until I left the marriage. That will never happen and I won’t fight with my husband based on assumptions. When the scandal broke, I needed to protect Malusi and be by his side as I knew some people would judge him. My friends and family were supportive because they know my personality isn’t the one portrayed in the papers. The irony is that she thought she’d wreck my marriage, but her stunts brought us closer. There’s a newspaper that claimed I revealed exclusively to it that Malusi confessed to the afair and that I’ve forgiven him. That’s all lies. When the controversy fizzles out, I had a chat with him about what happened. I asked him about her when she started with her emails. Because she originally sent emails using a fake name, he didn’t know her. All I know is that they chatted on Instagram, and as for the expensive gifts he allegedly gave her, I doubt he did. We’ve moved on. I think she’s in love with Malusi and they perhaps had a fling before we got married and she’s still attached to him. In one email she said she only heard on the wedding day that we were getting married. I don’t believe her. Malusi and I came out in 2010 about our relationship and it was in the papers. I feel sorry for her and put her in my prayers as she sold her soul for publicity. I’ve since learnt she’s wrecked other relationships before. No relationship is easy, and being married to a minister escalates that. A lot of our time is taken by his work. He misses birthdays sometimes because he’s needed by the country. I married him knowing his job was demanding. Our ritual is that he FaceTimes the kids every morning when they go to school. I call him when I go to work and he calls just before he goes to Cabinet. We also try to squeeze in holidays in between. As a minister’s wife, I’m judged on how I dress and act. What’s worse is that people think I married him for his money and fame. I refuse to be pressured to prove myself. I have the Gigabyte Foundation, which brings technology to rural areas to aid learners with computer literacy and expose them to careers in mining and aviation. I also work with ex-Miss South Africa Bokang Montjane and Ukhozi FM’s DJ Sgqemeza to provide disadvantaged learners in townships with uniforms and school shoes. I studied Information Computer Engineering at FVET College in KwaZulu-Natal. I moved to Joburg and studied further at Damelin, Varsity College and Vega School of Brand Leadership. I work as a business executive in an IT company. Malusi has his own money and I have mine, but as his wife, I love it when he spoils me. I’m from rural Umzimkhulu on the South Coast and grew up as an only child. My parents divorced when I was five years old. Mom worked as a primary school teacher and my father had various small businesses. I didn’t grow up rich, so I strongly believe in uplifting those in need.” ■
IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
“HE’S A PUBLIC FIGURE AND I UNDERSTAND THERE WILL BE WOMEN LIKE THIS ONE, SO I DON’T BOTHER WITH THEM.”
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| 2016 MAY | 77
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POWER NAPPING “I FEEL SO GOOD AT THE GYM THAT IT AFFECTS THE REST OF MY DAY. IT’S A HEALTHY ADDICTION. IT’S LIKE BUYING YOUR SANITY. ” – Khloe Kardashian, reality show star and author
Our demanding lifestyles can lead to sleep deprivation. A midday snooze called a “siesta” can boost energy and mental alertness, and leave you feeling recharged. Consider a 60-minute nap during lunch hour where your brain is fully at rest. You’ll also increase your productivity levels. WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
| 2016 MAY | 79
TL | Mind Power Does practising gratitude really work? The short answer is yes. Firstly, it can improve your physical health. A United States study showed that gratitude can help your heart. Scientists studying people who had sufered a heart attack found that those who saw benefits in their experience – such as being more grateful for and appreciative of life – had a lower risk of having another heart attack. Gratitude can help mental health, too. Robert Emmons, a positive psychology expert and the author of Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, found that people who express gratitude tend to be more optimistic and healthier than those who don’t. Gratitude can lower anxiety and depression levels, give us greater satisfaction in our relationships, and lead to better sleep. Showing gratitude can also spread good karma: if we express thanks to others, they’re more likely to behave more generously. Here are the seven steps to gratitude: 1. SHARE YOUR POSITIVE FEELINGS Tell a diicult person how much you value them, whether it’s the colleague who’s always talking down to you or your needy friend. Be specific – give three reasons you appreciate them. You may love their diligence, can-do attitude, or even their terrible jokes. Gratitude strengthens bonds, showing a person they matter more to you than they realised.
3. DEVELOP A MORE THANKFUL ATTITUDE We all have an inner monologue going on, and we often respond to it in subtle ways. If your inner voice is downbeat and negative, your mood will be low. Try to give your inner voice a more appreciative tone and your mood will lift, allowing for better actions and interactions with others. 4. USE VISUAL REMINDERS Put a note of gratitude on your mirror so you begin the day with a good attitude. Or
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Here are TIPS to CULTIVATE GRATITUDE. By Charlotte Haigh MacNeil try a gratitude app on your phone. It allows you to input things you’re grateful for – you can share your gratitude and create slide shows when you need a reminder of how good life is. You can also keep a gratitude journal, writing down whatever you’re thankful for each night at bedtime. 5. THANK EVERYONE Make an efort to wholeheartedly thank everyone who does something for you, no matter how small – from a driver letting you pass first to a colleague who makes you a cup of tea. 6. WRITE A LETTER A powerful way to practise gratitude is to
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write a 300-word letter to someone who’s made a diference to your life. It’s an idea suggested by Martin Seligman, psychologist and author of Flourish. Go into detail; write how much they changed your life and how. Now, deliver it in person, without saying beforehand why you wish to visit them. Read it to them. Seligman promises this will give you both a boost. 7. HAVE A GRATITUDE BUDDY Doing this can help you keep going until gratitude becomes a habit. Find someone else who wants to practise gratitude – you could make gratitude lists every week and email them to each other. Hearing another’s list can help you feel more grateful, too. ■
IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
2. GO PUBLIC Announce your plans to be more grateful. Share the things you feel thankful for with your friends on social media. In time, you’ll notice that you have adopted a brighter outlook, and this may rub of on your friends, too.
Be thankful
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Diet & Fitness | TL You might spend a lot of time at the gym, but that stubborn belly fat is the hardest to lose, and can lead to several internal health issues if not dealt with. Developing a flat tummy and maintain abs is generally diicult. The prescribed exercises can be excruciating and demotivating. But you’ll be pleased to know that there is a much simpler and efective way. These gentle exercises are possible and easy enough to do every day – and the best part is, with discipline and consistency, you’ll notice the diference soon enough. They take no more than 10 minutes, and you’ll have a tighter tummy in four weeks.
SLOW SQUATS
SOURCE Pan Media IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
“This is the most efective move to firm, tighten and tone your stomach,” says nutritionist Zana Morris. Here’s how: 1. Stand with your feet hip-distance apart, knees slightly bent and hands on your hips. 2. Slowly lower yourself down into an almost-seated position for a few seconds, as though you’re about to sit on an imaginary chair that’s just behind you. Hold for a few seconds. 3. Slowly return to the start position and repeat. Remember to keep your feet flat on the floor, shoulders back and tummy tight at all times. For maximum efectiveness, use your abdominal muscles to do as much of the work as possible, particularly as you move from the sitting position to upright. You should feel as if you’re lifting your tummy up rather than using your leg muscles to stand up. Hold the squatting position for as long as is comfortable, which may only be for even a second. 4. Start with just a few squats, and build up. The closer your bottom is to the floor, the harder your muscles will work. Once you’ve mastered it, hold a small weight in each hand (cans of baked beans are ideal and equally efective). How long: Spend four minutes doing these slow squats: squat for one minute, rest for 30 seconds, do another minute of squats, rest for 30 seconds, then do a final minute of squats. And make sure you don’t rush: fewer slow, careful squats using your abdominal muscles are more efective than lots of fast squats.
THE STOMACH RETRACTION “This yoga-based exercise is superb for flattening your stomach and cinching in your waist,” says Morris. Here’s how: 1. Stand with your feet hip-distance apart and your knees slightly bent. Place your hands on your hips and push your elbows forward slightly. Take a deep breath, then exhale all the air from your lungs. Don’t inhale until after you’ve completed the next move. 2. Pull in the part of your tummy just under your ribcage. Hold for as long as it feels comfortable, even if it’s for just a second or two, and then breathe normally. 3. For maximum efectiveness, aim to produce a deep concave shape in your abdomen, right from your ribcage to your pelvis. Make sure you fully relax the muscles between retractions. How long: Start with just a few retractions and slowly build up to doing more over the next few weeks. Do it fully and you’ll feel a tightness in your throat. Spend two minutes doing stomach retractions. It’s important that you get your breath back between each move, but reduce these rest periods as you feel your muscles strengthening. Start with five to 10 retractions with long rest periods, gradually building up to 20.
THE PELVIC TILT Morris says: “The pelvic tilt is good for strengthening your lower stomach muscles.” Here’s how: 1. Lie on the floor with your knees bent. Place your hands, palms down, flat on the floor either side of your hips. Think about, and tighten, your stomach muscles – take your time to tighten all the muscles in this area, including your pelvic floor. 2. Using your abdominal muscles, tilt your pelvis upwards. You should feel as if you’re tucking your bottom in and pushing it upwards. You don’t need to lift it of the floor – simply tilting it will work the muscles suiciently. Return to the start position and repeat. 3. For maximum efectiveness, be sure to keep your chin lifted away from your chest – check that you’re looking up to the ceiling before starting each tilt. How long: Start with just a few tilts
and build up gradually so as not to stress your body. The stomach muscles are likely to be very weak, so be careful not to compensate by using your lower back muscles instead. Once you’ve mastered the technique, lift one heel of the floor as you do the pelvic tilt. Alternate your heels with each tilt to work both sides of your body equally. Spend four minutes doing pelvic tilts: perform tilts for one minute, rest for 30 seconds, do another minute of tilts, rest for 30 seconds, then do a final minute of tilts.
GET THE BALANCE RIGHT Exercise alone cannot help you reach your weight goals. A balanced eating plan that incorporates meals packed with vegetables and fruit is a must to slim down and stay that way. Avoid sugar: yes, you’re shattered and need to munch on a biscuit for energy, but sugar converts straight to fat in your body and gets stored around the stomach. Snack on nuts, oatcakes or fruit instead. Cut back on coffee: We know it’s hard when you’ve been up most of the night, but excess cafeine releases the stress hormone cortisol, which increases fat storage around the stomach. Take a fish oil supplement: Studies show it helps your body to burn fat around your midsection. Also, for toned muscles, strong bones are needed, which is what fatty acids help build. Eat plenty of lean protein: Protein takes far longer to digest than carbohydrates, so more calories are burnt during digestion and you’ll feel full for longer. Make it a habit to opt for meats such as grilled chicken and lean beef, and to include eggs and ham in your breakfast. Increase your magnesium intake: Eat nuts and dark, leafy greens such as broccoli and spinach. These help keep blood sugar levels steady to curb sugar cravings. Speak to your GP before exercising: Don’t push yourself too hard. Only do what is comfortable for you. A professional or expert can guide you on what is possible and how far you should push yourself. ■ WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
| 2016 MAY | 83
WARNING SIGNS
Your BODY GIVES you WARNING SIGNALS you can’t avoid as they can indicate SERIOUS ILLNESS. Read our guide of symptoms you mustn’t dismiss. By Lisa Thabethe
When a member of your family falls ill, you take them straight to the doctor. So why do working women and moms hardly ever put themselves first when it comes to their own health? “This reluctance may be due to lack of time, not wanting to trouble your doctor, or even a fear that something serious could be discovered,” says GP Dr Carol Cooper. The trouble is: some symptoms don’t scream emergency, but
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they could be an early indicator of something that needs attention. While you can rest assured that most of your medical niggles aren’t serious, there are certain warning signs everyone should be aware of. “Some of them are easily confused with less serious conditions, so it’s important to know what’s normal for you,” says Cooper. Take notice of your body now – it might save your life.
Health | TL 1. ALWAYS TIRED Fatigue is usually a lifestyle issue. Research shows that 60% of working mothers are tired all the time, and it’s often because of long hours or stress. Depression or trauma, such as losing a loved one, can also cause lethargy. “Sleep disorders such as insomnia, snoring or sleep apnoea can result in daytime tiredness, too,” adds Cooper. Anaemia, chronic fatigue syndrome or a thyroid disorder (especially if you’ve also been gaining weight). Extreme fatigue can also be a sign of diabetes in some cases, but you would have other symptoms too. “If lifestyle changes such as eating well, getting more sleep and destressing don’t help, and there’s no obvious cause for your exhaustion, you may need to have blood tests,” says Cooper.
2. SEVERE HEADACHE A painful headache that comes on suddenly is usually a chronic tension headache or migraine. “Migraines tend to afect one side of the head, and you may also feel nauseous and have visual disturbances,” explains Cooper. “Chronic tension headaches usually recur daily, are often worse in the evenings, and may not respond to painkillers.” If your headache begins or worsens after you’ve sustained a head injury, or if it comes on like a bolt from the blue, it could be a sign of bleeding on the brain (an aneurysm), a tumour, a stroke or a blood vessel inflammation. “If it’s accompanied by fever, a stif neck or a rash, it could be meningitis,” says Cooper, urging that you should go to the emergency unit if your headache also comes out of nowhere. The sooner you’re treated, the better.
3. SLURRING AND BLURRING
IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
Assuming you haven’t had one too many glasses of wine, slurring your speech or blurred vision are usually the result of tiredness. “These can be indicators of extreme stress and fatigue, or an impending migraine. It can also be a side efect of certain types of medication, like those for depression,” explains Cooper. It could be a stroke or a transient ischemic attack (TIA) – a mini stroke. “Symptoms might include having trouble talking or understanding speech, sudden dizziness, weakness or numbness of the face, arm or leg, and blurring or loss of vision,” says Cooper. “In TIA, slurring or blurring symptoms will last less than 24 hours – maybe only minutes or hours.” When this occurs, call an ambulance. Studies show that fewer than 2% of stroke victims get to hospital within three hours – the optimum time for treatment. Cooper cautions: “The quicker a stroke or TIA is identified, the lower your risk of sufering permanent damage or having a recurrence.”
4. BREAST CHANGES This is a normal part of being a woman. Our breasts can often feel lumpy and tender. Lymph nodes in our armpits may swell at the slightest sign of infection in the body, milk ducts can get blocked if you’re breastfeeding; hormonal changes during your period can cause lumps and breasts often just develop cysts or harmless growths called fibroadenomas. “Nine out of 10 breast lumps are benign,” says Dr Jodie Mofat, but suggests checking in with your doctor to be on the safe side.
If you notice a change, don’t panic, but it’s essential to get it checked out. Know the normal size, shape and feel of your breasts at diferent times during your menstrual cycle. “Being breast aware isn’t just about feeling for lumps,” says Mofat. “Any changes in skin texture, dimpling or puckering of the skin, changes to your nipples, discharge or pain in the breasts, and lumps should be reported to your GP without delay.” If you’re older than 47, have a mammogram every three years.
5. UNEXPLAINED WEIGHT LOSS This is usually a sign of stress, anxiety or depression. Changes in lifestyle can afect you, too – even if you’re not dieting, you may be eating less or being more active. An overactive thyroid, some type of infection, liver disease or cancer. “It could also suggest coeliac disease, Crohn’s or another digestive disorder, which means you’re not absorbing food properly,” says Cooper. According to the Mayo Clinic in the US, unexplained loss of more than 5% of your body weight in a month, or 10% over six months, should be checked out. “As a rule, it’s unusual for an adult’s weight to fluctuate by more than 4kg for no reason,” says Cooper. “If you normally struggle to lose weight and the kilos suddenly start dropping of, alert your doctor.”
6. UNUSUAL BLEEDING Blood in your stool is probably haemorrhoids,” says Cooper. “If it’s in your urine, you may have an infection that will require treatment, while a nosebleed that doesn’t stop after 10 minutes is probably a blood vessel that needs medical attention.” Vaginal bleeding could be irregular periods, breakthrough bleeding if you’re on the pill, or other treatable conditions. “Blood in your stool, especially if it’s black and looks like tar, could be a sign of bowel cancer, polyps or an ulcer,” says Mofat. “And unexplained vaginal bleeding between periods, after sex or post-menopause could indicate cervical or uterine cancer.” Cooper adds: “Coughing or vomiting up blood could suggest a haemorrhage, a bleeding ulcer or a clot on your lung. Persistent nosebleeds? They may be an indicator of high blood pressure.” Go to the emergency unit if you’re coughing up blood or bleeding heavily from an injury. “Always report blood in your stool or urine, or unexplained vaginal bleeding. Blood isn’t supposed to be seen, so it’s a sign you can’t ignore,” says Mofat.
7. ABDOMINAL PAIN This could be related to your digestive system or menstrual cycle. There are so many conditions this could indicate – such as tummy bugs, irritable bowel syndrome or urinary infections. Severe abdominal pain can be a sign of ovarian cancer. This is the fourth most common cancer in women. While 85% of cases occur in women over 50, it can afect younger women. If identified early, 95% of women survive for more than five years. According to US-based awareness group Ovarian Cancer Action, almost all suferers experience symptoms even in the early stages. These include abdominal or pelvic pain, bloating, an increased need to urinate, a swollen abdomen, changes in bowel habits, and vaginal bleeding. If these symptoms are not normal and lifestyle changes don’t relieve them, report to your GP as soon as possible. ■ WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
STYLE RULES!
GET WINTER READY Escape the chilly weather in HAIR CHARMS, perfect INSTA BEAUTY and rock clashing PRINTS and METALLICS. WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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FUR ON FUR
Clash
Eclectic
Wool jersey Zara, R559; Shirt Zara, R559; Belt Topshop, R499; Skirt H&M, R1 199 ; Fur scarf Zara, R999
This season, fashion HAS NO BOUNDARIES. So dare to wear MISMATCHED PRINTS, FUR and METALLICS. By Mbali Soga Photographs Tereza Cervinkova
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Fashion Notebook | TL
PRINT MIX
Jumpsuit Tiger of Sweden, R3 999 Bomber H&M, R899 Mules Nine West, R1 499
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FAUX FUR FIRST
Dress Zara, R559; Fur coat H&M, R1 099; Shades Le Specs, R149
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Fashion Notebook | TL
’80s VISION
Jacket Topshop, R779; Wool jersey H&M, R749; Skirt Topshop, R749; Boots Zara, R1 599
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ASSISTANT Tsakane Ndlovu HAIR AND MAKE-UP Renton Wade at RHO MODEL Makungu at FanJam STOCKISTS H&M (021 826 7300) Nine West (011 467 6895) O’Natural Wigs (082 872 0811) Tiger of Sweden (011 784 0561) Topshop (0 11 685 7070) Zara (011 302 1500) LOCATION Creative Rides (011 042 6828)
OVER-THE-KNEE BOOTS
Blouse Country Road, R899; Skirt – Topshop, R649; Boots – Nine West, R2 899
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Fashion Notebook | TL
DAYTIME METALLICS
Top Zara, R459; Culottes Tiger of Sweden, R3 699; Waistcoat Zara, R859; Boots Tiger of Sweden, R6 599
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SNAPREADY Don’t miss out on FABULOUS PHOTO OPS with FLAWLESS MAKE-UP and daring FASHION LOOKS. By Mbali Soga and Lerato Seuoe Photographs Jurie Potgieter Aim to emphasise the eyes and lips, which works really well in the evening. Add a modern touch to a glamorous smokey eye by extending it out towards the hairline. This will brighten your eyes. Opaque red lips are still a show-stopping classic, whether worn glossy or matte. Line lips to prevent smudges, and apply foundation on them to ensure that your lip colour lasts longer. (See how to do this look on www.truelove.co.za.) For the ultimate playful look, wear this look with a metallic mini dress and a quirky Alice band.
Avon Perfectly Matte Lipstick in Red Supreme R129,90
Urban Decay Naked Smoky Palette R850
Maybelline Dream Velvet Foundation R139,95
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Beauty Ideals | TL
Top, skirt and fur coat H&M Earrings Colette
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Chanel La Sourcil De Chanel R810
Gilet Edgars Earrings Colette
To perfect the done but not OTT make-up look, aim to create a natural but flawless finish. To achieve this, you need two focal points – radiant skin and perfectly shaped and filled brows. To smooth fine lines, refine pores and prevent shine during the day by wearing a primer before applying foundation. For a professional finish, use the correct application tools to give you an immaculate look. Lastly, fill brows out with a powder brow kit. brush, which gives you more control kit It usually comes with a brush than a brow pencil. ((Learn how to do this on www.truelove.co.za.) This look goes well with plush fabrics like faux fur and shearling. Keep the outfit simple with stud earrings.
Dermalogica Hydrablur Primer R750
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Beauty Blender R398
Fashion & Beauty | TL
Chanel Eclat Lumiere R610
Bobbi Brown Nude Finish Illuminating Powder R720
Top Ted Baker Jacket Maison Scotch Choker and earrings Colette
Faking sun-kissed skin in winter is as easy as applying some highlighter and bronzerontherightareas.Identifytheplacesonyourfacethatwouldnormally be hit by the sun, and illuminate them with a liquid or creamy highlighter. Apply the formula to the Cupid’s bow, top of cheekbones and just above the eyebrow arch for a dewy finish. For a sculpted look, lightly sweep the bronzer on the hairline to remove visible foundation lines, then cup the bottom of your cheekbones with your palm to contour lines, making your face appear thinner. (To achieve this look, visit www.truelove.co.za.) Make your face stand out in a similarly stunning sports-luxe bomber. WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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Dress Stylist’s own Earrings Colette Alice band Colette
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Fashion & Beauty | TL
ASSISTANT Tsakane Ndlovu HAIR AND MAKE-UP Faith Seuoe MODEL Blanca at Ice Model Management STOCKISTS Clicks (0860 692 274) Colette (011 880 2134) Country Road (011 290 2500) H&M (021 826 7300) Red Square (011 685 7000) Styling Concepts (011 482 7528) Ted Baker (011 450 1156)
Clarins 3-Dot Liner R265
The winged eye is a sexy feature, even though it’s tricky to achieve. To get the shape just right, lift the eyelid up to get a proper line. Use a felt pen to get a smudge-free line. Add to the dramatic impact with lush false lashes. (Learn how to perfect the winged eye on www.truelove.co.za.) Keep lips nude. Camel suede complements caramel complexions and nude lipstick.
M.A.C 21 Lash R160 Dress Country RoadEarrings Colette
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Band-it Headbands come in all fabrics and widths. From chic black satin at Chanel to white floral ones that give the grandma-chic a twist as seen at Gucci, this is an accessory must-try.
HAIR CHARMS
ACCESSORIES are the buzzword on the runway this autumn/winter. Think LEATHER BANDS, SCARVES and BROOCHES. By Lebo Malatse Photographs Tereza Cervinkova
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Beauty Ideals | TL
The brooche
Talk about repurposing, brooches were tucked neatly into ballet buns at Les Copains for some glam. At Chanel, they were artfully pinned into hairbands. Match diferent brooches with your outďŹ t for a unique colour theme.
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Undercover
Headscarves have a retro interpretation unlike the tribal-style turbans. Scarves are given a Gypsylike whimsy, worn on the entire head to reveal a deep centre parting. The scarf is the perfect solution to winter weather.
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Beauty Ideals | TL
HAIR AND MAKE-UP Faith Seuoe MODELS Neo at BOSS Models; Khanya at Ice Model Management STOCKISTS Aldo Accessories (011 884 4141) Mango (011 783 7907) Zara (011 302 1500)
Full bloom
From floral hair clips at Gucci to bejewelled foral Alice bands at Dolce & Gabbana, winter blooms give hair a feminine edge this season. DIY your own using hair grips and artificial flowers.
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TL | Feedback
THE BEAUTY STATIONS
BEAUTY BRUNCH TRUE LOVE and Elizabeth Arden gave Cape Town readers a remarkable beauty experience.
TL BEAUTY EDITOR LERATO SEUOE
It was a beautiful day in Cape Town where the gorgeous Table Bay Hotel played host to another fabulous Elizabeth Arden beauty session. On arrival, women had their skin scanned during consultations by the Elizabeth Arden team of experts before being taught trade secrets on how to achieve flawless make-up looks. TRUE LOVE beauty editor and host for the event Lerato Seuoe facilitated the interactions with the readers and experts. Elizabeth Arden and celebrity make-up artist Lucoh Mhlongo took the women through a complete fuss-free make-up application. Lunch was served with champers, and after the workshop, everyone walked away with a stunning Elizabeth Arden goodie bag.
LUCOH SHOWS HOW IT’S DONE
STRIKING A POSE FOR THE CAMERAS
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INSPIRATION Move up in BUSINESS, RELATIONSHIPS, and all aspects of LIFE.
DID YOU KNOW THAT... The fastest growing small business in South Africa’s metropolitan cities is lifestyle. We’re talking the shisa nyamas, restaurants, beauty salons and car wash outlets. Give your business added value, like a shop that ofers clients two-minute massages, magazines to read or the ability to connect to Wi-Fi or the internet while they wait for you to complete services. It’s about giving people that extra service they don’t expect, making them feel that you go the extra mile.
BY Nthabiseng Mofokeng IMAGES Shutterstock; Dreamstime.com; supplied
MANUFACTURING = ECONOMIC GROWTH The Centre for Development and Enterprise, located in Joburg, says the answer to high unemployment in South Africa lies in the manufacturing industry. The centre recommends that economic policies focus less on elite enrichment and more on semi-skilled labour forces. Labour-intensive projects, like building houses and reconstructing roads, require many workers. This would boost employment and in turn, the economy.
“I HAVE OFTEN RELIED ON MY GUT INSTINCT TO GUIDE ME IN BUSINESS. THE TIMES WHEN I HAVEN’T DONE SO HAVE BEEN UNFORTUNATE.” - Jenna Cliford, renowned jewellery designer who founded Jenna Cliford Designs in 1992 and has crafted unique jewellery pieces for business icons and celebrities. WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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TL | Business Coaching
BUSINESS WITH PLEASURE Read this before you start a company with a FRIEND or FAMILY MEMBER. By Dr Hlombe Makuluma Wespendalotoftimewithfriendsandfamily. It therefore makes sense that when you want to start a business, the first point of call for a partnership will be with your friend or family member. Is that a good idea? Yes and no. History is full of stories of great businesses that collapsed because the founders were friends and the business relationship turned sour. Many entrepreneurs who start a business with a friend wind up with broken finances and ruined friendships. Research from the Harvard Business Review shows that among technology founders, businesses started by friends proved to be the most unstable, with an owner turnover rate of nearly 30%. Add to this statistic the fact that nine out of 10 business start-ups fail. One entrepreneur, Scott Testa, told the The New York Times about a company he started with a friend of 15 years. They disagreed about the growth strategy and ended up selling the company prematurely, which caused a huge rift between them. They ended up estranged. On the flipside, there are tales of friends who started businesses together and succeeded. Take Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Apple founders Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak, Microsoft founders Bill Gates and Paul Allen, Hewlett-Packard founders Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard, and many more. All these friends used their friendships to build global companies. With this in mind, my advice is ditch the statistics and emotions, and objectively consider the pros and cons of starting a business with a friend or relative. Ask these six questions before deciding:
1. Are your business goals compatible? The vision of the founders determines the growth strategy that’ll be adopted in building the business. 2. Do you have the same goals? You don’t want to go into business with somebody who plans to study or travel the world in the next few years. 3. Are you compatible? There is a lot of time that needs to be invested in business, so understanding a friend’s work habits and work ethics goes a long way in determining whether the relationship will be sustainable or not. 4. Are your beliefs aligned? Ensure that when deciding on a friend, your values complement each other. 5. Do you have complementary skills? In starting the business, you need to bring in people who’re going to enhance your skills. Don’t venture into busines with someone whose skills have never been tested in a formal work environment. 6. How do you resolve conflicts? The approach you use to solve problems in your friendship is likely to spill over into the business. Think long and hard if that’s how you want to conduct conflict resolution in the company. Before launching a business and putting your financial resources on the line, take a moment to ponder these complexities and discuss them together. You need a map to help you find the way to your joint venture. Remember, some of the most powerful businesses ever established were founded by friends. However, many more failed miserably. Think carefully before you risk your friendship. ■
‘‘History is full of stories of great businesses that collapsed because the founders were friends.’’
DR HLOMBE MAKULUMA IS A BUSINESS AND EXECUTIVE COACH. HE ADVISES BUSINESS OWNERS ON HOW TO GROW PROFITABLE AND SUSTAINABLE BUSINESSES. SEND ANY BUSINESS-RELATED QUERY TO LETTERS@TRUELOVE.CO.ZA.
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Natalie uses her offshore account to jet-set around the world. Natalie grew up in a small mining town. No one in her community ever imagined a life outside, let alone travelling. But Natalie did. When she’s not traversing the globe as the founder of a global company, she’s vacationing with her family. Her Standard Bank offshore account lets her hold multiple currencies across different countries, which she can access securely, 24/7. The only thing she has to worry about is jet lag. With more than 20 years of offshore experience, Standard Bank empowers you to be a global citizen, right here at home. www.standardbank.com/international Diversify your investment portfolio / Manage your funds globally, 24/7 / Grow in a stable offshore jurisdiction
Standard Bank Offshore Services (RSA), operates under the license of The Standard Bank of South Africa Limited (“SBSA”), an authorised Financial Services Provider (“FSP”) number 11287. Moving Forward is a trademark of The Standard Bank of South Africa Limited. SBSA 233917 03/16.
GROUND BREAKER As the COO of the second-largest medical scheme in the country, and the first black woman to occupy this role, BELLA MFENYANA, 40, is leading change in the health industry. By Zethu Zulu
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IMAGE Lwazi Hlophe STILLS Dreamstime.com MAKE-UP Tifany Wilson
Businesswoman | TL It’s not every day that you learn about black women making waves in the health sector. Bella Mfenyana, head of services and contracts at the second largest medical scheme in the country, Government Employees Medical Scheme (GEMS), is one such person. Taking up the position when she was just 30 years old, she was the youngest and first known black women to be in charge of operations of a medical scheme. She’s the recipient of the industry’s AskAfrika Orange Index Service Excellence award. “My plan has always been to break boundaries. Taking up the position at such a young age can be intimidating, but I hit the ground running and focused on getting the job done. As Chief Operations Officer, I’m in charge of ensuring service delivery by all contracted providers and mitigating financial risk. My department is basically the engine of the scheme, and in my line of work, no news is good news because it means we’re doing something right,” she says. Born in Keiskammahoek in the Eastern Cape, Mfenyana excelled at high school, particularly in the sciences. She graduated with a BCom degree in economics at the University of the Western Cape, and followed that qualification with business leadership courses at various institutions. She also holds an MBA at Milpark Business School, which focused on ubuntu in the health sector. “I actually wanted to be a lawyer when I was young. I had handcufed myself while playing, and my uncle explained to me that the only way to get out of trouble would be to get a lawyer. I thought it was the coolest thing! Throughout my life, my family and school teachers had high expectations of me. This motivated me to do my best at all times. Having been in a leadership position at university as deputy president of the students representative council, I learnt to be selfless and to work with people,” she recalls. Known to family and friends as Belekazi, Mfenyana started her career as a retirement fund consultant at Alexander Forbes Financial Services in 2001. “There I helped employees and clients plan for retirement so they can be well taken care of in their old age. I loved helping people especially in rural areas so they can live comfortably.” After more than three years at Alexander Forbes, she worked as a fund manager at Discovery Health until 2006. During the two years she spent there, Mfenyana looked after the portfolio of corporate clients. She distinguished herself as an employee with
MY FAVOURITES Mfenyana lets us into her personal space and shares her heart’s desires.
I always splurge on… Travel. My favourite places are Cuba, and my home province, the Eastern Cape.
I enjoy... Going to the gym. I love doing cardio and resistant training. I’ve always been sporty, so this keeps me in shape.
My favourite fragrance is...Narciso Rodriguez For Her. I bought it while stuck at an airport in Switzerland because it reminds me of a special friend.
The book that I read again and again is...The Leader Who Had No Title by Robin Sharma. It makes me sharp.
great knowledge of healthcare funding, which is what she brought in when she was recruited to GEMS in 2006. Increasing the number of people who now have access to quality healthcare are some of her achievements. “I’ve also introduced innovative solutions in the insurance industry, particularly with regards to quality and efficient healthcare. I’ve also been called on to intervene during service delivery protests. For me, it’s not about the bottom line. I have a ‘what can I do to help’ mentality, and it gives me joy when someone can finally reap the benefits of quality healthcare.” And what about the misconceptions the public has about medical aid schemes and the healthcare sector as a whole? “Citizens fail to appreciate the scale of service delivery in the country. The private healthcare industry is unable to accommodate everyone.” Having said that, Mfenyana loves seeing tangible results in the sector and knowing that she’s playing a part in this makes her proud. “The positive impact on members and healthcare providers from actions like introducing new players in the market, has shown me that I’m in the right career.” Mfenyana is well equipped and well vested and that is the reason most people think she’s either a lawyer, doctor or pharmacists because of the knowldge and understanding she brings into her job. “I sit in meetings with CEOs, doctors and lawyers. and they use industry terms that I’m familiar with, which takes them by surprise,” she adds. “Every person should strive to develop themselves with ongoing training and academic qualifications. Education is a must for competing in a corporate environment. Through my studies, I’ve travelled to diferent countries to learn about various leadership skills. I observed how the industry operates on a global scale. This always makes me appreciate how far I’ve come, and the good I’ve achieved. “I’d loved to work for an NGO. There’s nothing more that fulfils me than making a diference. I’m currently involved in a CSI project that is sourcing funding to buy as many diapers as we can to be distributed to parents who need them.” Mfenyana doesn’t have a family of her own just yet. She says career success comes with major personal sacrifices. “My personal goal is to be a supermom and someone’s life partner. My family always says I work too hard, and I stand out in whatever I do. My leadership style is leading from the back so the whole team can shine. I don’t care for titles.” ■ WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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For a long time, bricks and mortar were not considered a women’s source of income. The closest women got to the building industry was as cleaners. But with the inclusion of gender equality in the Constitution, jobs formerly reserved for men became open to women, who’ve proven that no work is too tough for them. In 1997, the late public works minister Stella Sigcau launched South African Women in Construction (Sawic), which has nine provincial chapters. Its aim was to train and develop young women and professionals in the building industry, equipping them with skills to run sustainable enterprises. Sawic has a relationship with various government departments such as human settlements, public works, the Gauteng DepartmentofInfrastructuralDevelopment, and the Independent Development Trust The group’s chairperson, Kile Kwinana, has been in the construction business for more than 10 years, and says the organisation has grown from less than 10 members when it started to a membership of 800 nationwide. “Women are inspired by the spatial transformation that’s brought by bricks and cement. Men build houses; women build homes with soul. Women have always built with their hands., but now that the building of homes has been commercialised, many women are marginalised,” she says. “Starting a construction business is easy as one only needs to register a company with the Companies and Intellectual Property Commission. But running and sustaining the business is diicult. You need to have a basic understanding of the service ofering, client
needs, competition, costing, management of contracts and human capital. You also have to be able to dream, strategise and persist,” says business coach Dr Hlombe Makuluma. “There’s no right or a wrong time to start a business, this includes construction. The construction industry in South Africa has been in a slump for more than five years now. It’s predicted that this will continue in 2016 due to slow economic growth and falling commodity prices. Employment in this sector is cyclical, and is closely linked to economic activity and the roll-out of projects. Government has promised to roll out infrastructure projects of more than R800 billion in the next few years,” continues Makuluma. Faith Mbatha is an achiever in the field. In 2003, she quit her job as a traic department administrator and registered SJL Construction. She also enrolled at the National Housing and Building Regulatory Council for short courses and hired people who knew a lot more than she did. “We’ve built houses in Cosmo City, Clayville and Doornkop. The industry is very uncertain. Businesspeople can go for a long time without any income. Plus, we had a recession in 2009; it was so bad that I relied on other people to pay my bond and my car,” she says, adding that when she started her business, she sat her family down and talked to them about how important their support would be to her. Mbatha adds that if a person doesn’t know the costs of projects or how to communicate with subcontractors, they’ll lose business.
CONCRETE FUTURE Some argue that the CONSTRUCTION INDUSTRY IS NOT SUITABLE FOR women. But sisters are proving they can do it for themselves. By Thembisile Makgalemele
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IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
Business Report | TL
“This industry is labour-intensive. The progress of a project is controlled by the weather – when it rains, materials get wasted, which results in increased expenses,” she says. “There are times when you need subcontractors to sleep on site. It’s diicult, but sometimes you may need to hire security guards to watch over material for the duration of the project, or pay insurance in case of theft,” she explains. Taking all this into consideration, it’s clear that there’s a slowdown in the construction sector, but at the same time, there are opportunities. What’s key is to have an understanding of why you want to start this particular business. What skills do you have to enable you to succeed? Are you passionate about the industry? How does the competition look? Can you survive in this cut-throat industry? “Opportunities in construction exist for several small and medium enterprises. But, this sector is crowded with lots of businesses ofering construction solutions. You need to define the ofering clearly and diferently from the rest. The market that your business ofering is aimed at needs to be very
clear. Remember, people do business with people they know, like and trust. Before you even get started in your business, you must define and understand the target market. This is a group of customers that the business has decided to aim its marketing eforts towards. As a result, a well-defined target market is the first element to marketing your construction business,” explains Makuluma. He further says, “Defining your target market should be followed by understanding your unique selling proposition. It’s possible to have several unique points, but you need to define the one that’ll make the customers buy your service. What is it that makes your company stand out? You also need to understand the opportunities presented by preferential procurement policies in the private and public sectors.” To operate successfully in construction, find a niche. That could be home renovations and extensions, paving, trenches, road construction, or civil engineering-related oferings. When you choose the niche, position yourself as unique and specialist. By marketing yourself as such, you increase the chances of success. But between building railway lines, refurbishing schools and undertaking other projects, construction company Grinaker LTA owner Kefilwe Mdletshe says women in this industry are having a tough time as they’re not accorded the respect they deserve. She says it took her years to be treated the same way as her male counterparts, and had to work twice as hard to prove that she was able to deliver quality work. Some companies have not been lucky enough to survive the diicult times. And like all sectors, construction hasn’t been immune to the efects of the recession. Khuthaza has supported the development of women in the housing and construction sectors since 1995, but had to close shop recently because of a lack of funds. Among the organisation’s successful ventures has been the collaboration among Sawic Gauteng co-operatives and the Sokhulumi Housing Development project in Bronkhorstspruit. However, Kwanana points out that some businesses have had to retrench employees, or sufer a downgrade by the Construction Industry Development Board and close shop because of delayed payments when doing work for government. Kwinana explains that stereotypes of women as being unable to perform in the construction sector and limited support for female-driven projects makes it diicult for women-run companies to prosper. “But women are also their own worst enemies,” she says, “as jealousy is a challenge. Eventually, these women front for men and white-owned entities for survival.” Echoeing this, in 2015, public works minister Thulas Nxesi indicated that after 20 years of democracy, marginalisation of women was far from over. He launched the Department of Public Works’ Women Empowerment Advisory Committee to address the lack of transformation in the construction and property industries, saying that the road to transformation is a long one. While government continues to voice its support for the advancement of women, it also laments the marginalisation of women in key sectors of the economy. In 2014, minister of human settlements Lindiwe Sisulu announced that 30% of all human settlement projects valued at over R35 billion would be awarded to companies and cooperatives owned by women. Sawic’s Kwinana explained that the organisation is working with the department to deliver 1 956 housing units per province each year in commemoration of the 1956 Women’s March to the Union Buildings by 20 000 women. ■ WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
| 2016 MAY | 111
Gone are the days when sending your five-page CV with all your qualifications and job experience, along with a “Dear Sir/ Madam” motivation letter, did the trick. Less is more these days, and while potential employers want to know all about you, there’s no need to bombard them with every job you’ve ever had, where you went to high school, and how all the skills you have qualify you for the job. Human resources practitioners sift through many CVs, so to get noticed, you need to stand out. There’s no need to wait around for a job opening. Here’s how to get the job you want right now.
1. ONE-PAGE CV “People make snap judgements about who you are within the first few seconds of meeting you,” says professional headhunter Jorg Stegemann. “They do the same with your CV. So it’s important to think about whether this potential door-opener is making the best possible first impression. You have to sell your experience quickly, so the standard CV format needs to be one to two pages.” Khosi Sokhulu, a 27-year-old accountant, made use of a contract CV writer to clean up her CV and make it concise, attractive and bold – without being too loud and haughty. “My CV went down from six pages to two; all the relevant
information remained,” she says. “I realised that my CV could tell the story of who I am, what I’ve done and my capabilities without covering every aspect of myself. That’s what interviews are for.” Briana Meade, a contract CV writer, agrees: “Confidently articulating your latest job experience means not detailing the trivia of past jobs that don’t further your career aspirations,” she says. “Frankly, no one cares. In a few sentences, they want to know what you’re doing now.”
2. YOUR PERSONALITY If you’re following recruitment trends, you’ll notice that people are being hired for their personality, not just their skills. Many people can hold the same qualifications, experience and check all the boxes, but you need to fit into the company’s culture to be taken into serious consideration. “Quirkiness is a trait that’s favoured in some industries, specifically creative ones,” HR specialist Refiloe Moloi says. “It’s good to have someone who can do the job, but it’s better if they fit in with the company culture and get along with the rest of the team. It all starts with an interesting CV. Recruiters have probably seen the standard format 100 times, and it’s refreshing to see an application that doesn’t include your home address, marital status and the languages you speak.
NEW WAYS TO FIND AJOB The trusted CV has been replaced by the PAIN LETTER and recruitment is via SOCIAL MEDIA. These are some of the MODERN ways to get that dream job. By Diana Kekana
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Careers | TL reputable agencies proactively send potential candidates for consideration even if organisations don’t have vacancies. It’s easier for companies to use reputable recruitment agencies and allow applicants to apply through their websites than going to social media.” But according to Stegemann, there’s a much faster way to get in direct contact with the people you want to hire you. “LinkedIn is a powerful tool for you to easily connect with the right people. Search your target market based on your industry and qualifications, and connect with people who interest you,” he says. “Unlike Facebook, LinkedIn is a professional network where you can also apply for jobs and even get notified when positions suited to your skills have become available. You also get notifications about who’s been viewing your profile, and if they don’t contact you, you can take the initiative and get in touch to get the ball rolling.” ■
IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty IMages
MAKESOCIALMEDIA WORKFORYOU That can be discussed further if necessary. Most people are using apps to create appealing CVs that aren’t just black and white, but involve PowerPoint or other programmes besides Word.” Maureen Lottering, 32, a sales representative from Joburg, says the best way to sell yourself is for people to see you before they even meet you. “My CV format is a bit eccentric,” she says. “I wanted to be interesting and diferent, so I used a newspaper template with my photo on the top left-hand side of the page. It’s only one page long, but using the columns makes it more exciting and to-the-point, and it grabs one’s attention.” Moloi, however, cautions against being too creative. Of Lottering’s concept, she says: “As creative as it is, it depends what industry you work in and how professional the photo itself is.”
Recruitment specialist Zama Skosana says: “Everybody knows somebody. Within your existing network there are probably three jobs that would be appropriate for you. Make a list of everyone you know; set a goal to touch base with at least three people you have not talked to for a year or more.” Attorney Ayanda Mkhize, 31, was recently retrenched from her job of four years after the company downsized. She’d been looking, but when she realised the company she wanted to work at wasn’t hiring, she sent a letter directly to the HR manager. “I read up on so-called ‘pain letters’ on Forbes.com and decided to give it a shot. In the letter I explained how I was the remedy to some of the issues the team may potentially be facing. I made my letter personal, which worked as I now work for that company.”
3. PAIN LETTER
4. SOCIAL MEDIA
The way you sell yourself doesn’t have to meet only the requirements listed. Some people have started approaching companies who aren’t even hiring staf.
Do recruitment agencies still play a role in the ever-changing job market? Yes, says senior human capital manager Theo Singqoto. “From time to time,
Just as job seekers have become creative in their search for new opportunities, employers have also taken advantage of advancing technology. Your online persona says a lot about you, so look out for the following when posting on any social media platform: Sites like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google+ allow employers to get an idea of who you are outside the confines of a CV; Clean up your online act. Untag yourself in any awkward photos that you don’t want potential employers to stumble across; Use those privacy settings. If you have information you don’t want employers to see, put it behind a privacy wall; and Employers look for positives when they search a potential employee’s social media pages. If they spot something bad, it may work against you.
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| 2016 MAY | 113
OOPSIE BABY! If he says he DOESN’T WANT A BABY, the likelihood of raising your child alone might make you QUESTION YOUR ABILITIES to be a single mother. By Phila Tyekana
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IMAGE Getty Images/ Gallo Images
Parenting | TL It’s happened that the pregnancy test results have come out positive, and the man you’ve been with is against you keeping the baby. He insists you terminate. And there’s an ultimatum: if you decide to keep the child, he’ll leave. Despite the confusion and hurt, you make the toughest decision of your life and keep the baby. Clinical psychologist Dr Adele Romanis says: “The relationship is highly likely not going to survive if you and your man have diferent opinions on the pregnancy. Having a baby is a minimum 18-year commitment. You may feel hurt, rejected and unsupported. Unless the father chooses to sign his rights away, then he’ll always be involved in your life. It’s both parents’ responsibility to provide for the child’s needs.” She adds: “If the father chooses not to be involved, you’ll need to come to terms and accept that the sole responsibility rests on your shoulders. At this stage, you’ll need to activate your support structure. Moving forward will result in emotional, social and financial implications,” explains Romanis. Mandisa, 35, from Sandton, Joburg, says, “I was ready for motherhood. At 28, I had a decent job as an enterprise banker, so I could look after my child financially. I also knew I could count on my family for support and encouragement. I used to think a baby would seal my boyfriend and my love and secretly hoped he’d marry me. The opposite happened, the pregnancy eventually put strain on the relationship and we broke up when our son, Lukhanyo, was two months old. The man I thought I knew so well changed and stopped loving me because I now had his baby.” There are many women like Mandisa who have to face the reality of being instant single moms. According to the National Center for Health Statistics in the United States, an average of 37% of births aren’t planned in the US alone. In Brazil, at least 30% of women have ‘oopsie’ babies, and likewise for almost half of Australian pregnancies, according to Australia-based Children By Choice. Here at home, the reality according to the South African Institute of Race Relations is that in 2013, only 33% of children lived with both parents. Of the remaining 67%, 39% lived with their mothers, and a measly 4% with their fathers. Zerita du Preez, a family lawyer from the Nel, Van der Merwe & Smalman Inc. law firm in Joburg, says legally, “the mother should approach her local maintenance court to apply for a court order for a contribution towards child maintenance. The father will have to pay a monthly amount to help with the child’s expenses. It’s the right of the child to be maintained by both parents. This means that both parents are legally responsible to care for the child’s needs.” Mandisa splits finances for Lukhanyo equally with her baby-daddy. She admits, however, that money will never replace or be enough for the emotional bond that you form with your child. Although he visits Lukhanyo, a few hours don’t amount to a genuine bond. “Life as a single parent is tough because you lack a partner’s support. This is my first child, so all decisions rest with me, which is a huge responsibility. I’m learning as Lukhanyo grows. Sometimes I also feel guilty. I feel like I’ve robbed him of the joy of being raised in a happy and balanced family by two parents,” explains Mandisa.
Besides financial obligations, can you force the father to have a relationship with his child? “To take care of a child and to keep contact with them forms part of parental rights and responsibilities as stipulated by South African law, which states that a parent has the right to have contact with his child – unless a judge decides that it’s not in the child’s best interest for that parent to be involved with the child. “Obviously, a person can never be forced to love his child and have contact with them,” explains Du Preez. “Remember that the father still has the obligation to pay maintenance for the child, even though he has no contact with them. Once maintenance is decided by the court, the father has to pay the monthly upkeep by law [or else the mother can make an application to the court].” Attorney Thinasonke Maag says it’s possible for the father to sign away his rights to the child. At a later stage, however, there’s nothing stopping him approaching the courts to have his rights reinstated. “It’s not up to the woman to decide this on her own. The woman can nonetheless take the matter to court where a judge will decide what is best for the child, and will take the circumstances into account and make a decision. The judge will make a decision based on what’s in the best interest of the minor and this will be the decider for granting of such an order and making this verdict,” clarifies Du Preez. There are also legalities to consider when the babydaddy later decides to become part of his child’s life, even if he signed his rights away. Certain requirements are needed to put this into efect, including if at the time of the child’s birth the father consented to be identified as the biological father and contributed to the child’s upbringing and maintenance. The determining factor, however, is based on the best interest of the child. As for which surname the child is entitled to, Du Preez says it could be either the mother’s or father’s. Phephsile Maseko, national coordinator for the Traditional Healers’ Organisation for Africa, echoes that traditional rituals may be carried out by the mother’s family until the child reaches adulthood. An alternative to going to high, maintenance or children’s court is mediation. This is done by lawyers, but excludes the filing legal documents. It’s less expensive and time-consuming than litigation. Mediation is a platform for problem-solving for the future where the couple can resolve issues through discussion. It’s a voluntary process and is done by an impartial third party. The mediator acts independently of both the father and mother, and can be an attorney, social worker or any other suitably qualified person. The parties involved are assisted in reaching a suitable settlement. “Initially, I didn’t know my legal rights, and I’m still learning as I go to make the situation comfortable for my son. I don’t regret my decision to have and raise him on my own. Lukhanyo’s father tries to have a relationship with him but it’s always months apart,” says Mandisa.
*To know more of your parental rights visit www.justice.gov.za. You will also find your local courts and where to go for maintenance. ■ WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
| 2016 MAY | 115
‘I LOST IT ALL’ Meet women who’ve gone from being BROKE to finding FINANCIAL FREEDOM. By Kabelo Collis When celebrities hit rock bottom, it makes us reconsider our money habits. It came as a shock when singer Toni Braxton filed for bankruptcy for the second time in 2010. The first time was back in 1998, when she lost all the millions of dollars she made from her hit albums. Back home, Thembi Seete lost everything after her Boom Shaka days. The vivacious actress had to sell of her fancy clothes and home to make ends meet. However, she managed to regain her financial independence after she turned to acting and presenting as a new source of income. And what of former soccer star Jabu Mahlangu, who became penniless after wasting his fortune on luxury cars, alcohol and drugs? He resurrected his career as a soccer analyst, businessman and motivational speaker, which enabled him to build his brand all over again. Rihanna blames her accountant’s bad advice and gross mismanagement for losing her fortune in 2009. It took a while, but the fashion-forward musician is today worth more than $150 million. When the rest of us are faced with bankruptcy, we face one of three choices: to let the situation define us, destroy us or strengthen us. Whatever decision you take will be diicult, especially when trying to recover from a financial setback. The process of getting back on your feet financially can be overwhelming and takes time, but it can be done. See this as a second chance, an opportunity to reassess your strengths and weaknesses, so you can start over again with a clean slate. Three women share their stories with us about how they lost control of their finances, but salvaged their situations through discipline and determination.
‘I WAS RECKLESS WITH MONEY AND LIVED WAY ABOVE MY MEANS’ Thirty-three-year-old Nokulunga’s financial distress came when she was at a crossroads, professionally and personally. “I had just made a career change, going into the corporate world after working for five years in the advertising industry. I decided to start in a more junior position to give myself a fair chance and get to understand the corporate environment. However, this meant I had to take a massive pay cut and start at the bottom. In addition, my mother made a series of bad financial decisions
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and I was obliged to take out a loan in order to bail her out of her situation – this worsened my already strained financial situation. “These two financial setbacks meant that I had to lower my living standards to aford essentials like food, transport and electricity. I had lived way above my means, and never really stopped to think about money. I now had to learn to limit my spending and understand what my real needs were, manage them, and pay them of first. Things like my medical aid, cellphone and gym contracts were cut. I then had to let go of my social habits and stopped going to clubs. I had to begin at ground zero. The hardest restriction was on my personal relationships. I was overwhelmed by my financial problems, so people saw me only if they came to my place. The process of getting back on my feet was tough. I had to put in extra hours at work and explore additional income-generating opportunities by doing
Finance | TL freelance work. I worked hard to reach my targets so that my appraisals were always accompanied with an increase. I also learned to live with less. I come from a background of excess, but reality humbled me. It hurt, but I learnt from my mistakes. I now respect money and understand that it requires discipline and management from my side.” Financial adviser Stephen Gouws explains that the first and biggest mistake Nokulunga made was starting a new career without having built up enough protection in terms of money saved or debt paid of to ensure that she would be okay. “If you take up a new position with a lower income, you have to have enough money saved up that your lifestyle will not be afected. Nokulunga struggled. If she had waited a year to ensure her financial situation would not be afected, she would have been in a diferent position from what she ended up having to deal with.” Khumo Mahuma, the founder and owner of Health and Rands Business and Financial Consultants, adds that tracking your expenses is critical in making sure you do not land up in financial distress. “Whether you’re living abundantly or not, it’s important to track your expenses. Even better, categorise them and plot them on a graph. This will give you an indication of where you spend your money.” He explains that we should all learn to live within our means and prioritise our financial wellbeing first before helping others out of their financial mess.
IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
‘I WAS BROKE AND MOVED BACK HOME’ When Bathobaile, 29, realised that her work contract was coming to an end and no renewal talks had taken place, she cashed in her pension fund in the hope of starting a business. “After continually enquiring about my contract, I was ofered a new one a week before the old one came to an end,” she says. “With my pride dented and my ego at its peak, I turned down the ofer, cashed in my pension and ventured into entrepreneurship with a heavy heart because of how I was treated by a company I had been committed to for three years. “This setback came a few months after I had lost my partner in a fatal car accident – we had cancelled the car insurance a few months before the crash.
I found myself without a job, and saddled with a heavy car debt that I needed to settle. My pension fund came in handy and enabled me to settle the car debt, which left me with less than half of what I had started of with. “Although I managed to start my business, most of my capital was spent wining and dining potential clients. I had sold my flat and moved back home to Mafikeng. Nothing panned out, and my money was eventually exhausted. This afected not only me, but my entire family too. I was the breadwinner, responsible for my mother and younger siblings’ wellbeing. I found myself queuing for unemployment insurance to secure grocery money. I moved from owning a car to relying on taxis for transport. I was down and out. “The turning point came when I accepted my reality. This gave me the chance to assess the reasons that led to my financial woes. I put my pride aside and started searching for a job. Two months later, I was employed. I now realise the importance of job security, especially when you’re uncertain about whether a new business venture will take of or not. Today, my cars are insured and I have paid of all my debts.” Gouws believes that Bathobaile has learnt from her mistakes. She should have accepted the job and not have cancelled her car insurance, but, as they say, life happened. “One of the biggest mistakes she made was to cash out her pension fund in order to start a business, and end up paying of debt – something we see on a daily basis. She should have had a business plan. Even though Bathobaile failed, she should not give up on her business idea. She has to formulate a business plan and conduct proper research,” he says. Mahuma agrees that cashing in your retirement savings is a mistake. “I challenge everyone to download a compound interest calculator, input whatever they want to cash in and see how much they are potentially wasting by such an action. You would be shocked, and motivated not to cash up your retirement savings.”
‘I LOST EVERYTHING AND HAD ONLY MY CLOTHES AND A LAPTOP TO MY NAME’ Tired of being just a cog in someone else’s wheel, Khaya, 34, quit his job to
concentrate on starting his own business. “Most people thought that I was doing well financially. But the truth was, I had no savings and had accumulated a mountain of debt. So, three months after quitting my job, I lost everything as I hadn’t created a contingency plan to assist me financially if things didn’t pan out the way I thought they would. I had to downgrade my lifestyle and eventually moved in with a friend, with only a bag of clothing and my laptop to my name. For the first time in my adult life, every rand I had suddenly had more value. I used to be happy to pay R45 for takeaways and cofees; now these became a luxury and I could no longer aford such treats. “I learned how to efectively budget and prioritise, and was able to stretch R100 so that it lasted for a whole week. During this time of need, I relied on public transport and friends to take me around. I had a choice: to accept the situation or allow it to drive me to insanity. However, it didn’t take long for me to learn to adjust to my new life. I guess this was because deep down, I knew this was temporary. I was not about to allow the setback to steer me away from financial recovery and eventual business success. My outlook made all the adjustments a bit easier for me. “I began to focus on making my business a success. I put my pride aside and asked for help. Part of my recovery process included distancing myself from people who were not adding value to my life. I adopted financial principles such as staying debt free as well as understanding the importance of saving. I now save as much as I can while investing my earnings in other business ideas.” Says Mahuma: “In Khaya’s situation, setting goals for his business before quitting his job was vital. He would have had a clearer vision of where he wanted to be in future. It is also important not to let other people’s opinions about your success, or lack thereof, influence your decisions because they are not accountable for your life. Gouws reinforces the importance of having a solid business plan guided by extensive research. “This ensures you start of on the right track. Khaya should have worked on a business plan designed to minimise failure.” ■
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| 2016 MAY | 117
It’s not just emotional vulnerability we women face when we think about turning a relationship into something sexual. Now we have to think about our survival. Embarking on a sexual relationship with someone new needs mutual, rational trust. But when we fall in love, our hearts and our bodies usually take over. The first days of romance are golden. You hardly know each other and yet you feel as if you’ve known him all your life, so the very idea that you have to be cautious cuts right across these glorious feelings. When Thandi, 23, met Sbu, he was happy to use protection at first. But as the relationship progressed, he assumed they would use a diferent method of contraception. But Thandi wasn’t just worried about an unwanted pregnancy. “He’d had more partners than me,” she says. “That was partly why I didn’t feel happy to stop using condoms. But his reaction was, ‘Don’t you trust me?’ I said, ‘I want to because I’m so crazy about you. But how can I? I hardly know you yet.’ That’s not an easy thing to say.” When women enter sexual relationships, they take it for granted that their partner will not abuse them. You trust someone, often based on nothing more than feelings. It’s a huge leap of faith because no matter how mind-blowing the sex is, your dream lover is still a stranger and remains so for some time. True intimacy, feeling that you’re completely accepted as you are, involves really getting to know someone and allowing them to know you. It takes time, possibly years, to reach this stage. And in those early stages, as Thandi recognises, you’re a long way of. “A lot of women think that moving from a condom to the Pill marks a certain stage in your relationship,” says Thandi. “You’ve become committed to each other, and that means you’ll be faithful. But while the woman assumes as much, the man isn’t necessarily doing so.” That’s the diiculty with trust: by its very nature, it’s often unspoken. You know he can trust you, so you assume you can trust him. But just because you’ve been seeing him for a while and you’re getting on well, it’s still never a good idea to assume anything. It may seem unromantic to question his fidelity, but our generation does not
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DO YOU TRUST HIM? You know his goals and how many kids he wants, but would he tell you if he had A ONE-NIGHT STAND? Trusting him is key for your relationship – and your life. By Laura Marcus
Sex | TL have the luxury of allowing love to fog our judgment. Mary, hearing about my past, I’d have felt diferently about him and 28, made that mistake: “When I started seeing Brian, I was the relationship. I wouldn’t stay with someone who didn’t care so in love with him that I took it for granted he wouldn’t sleep about my safety. Now we continue having safe sex.” with anyone else. I later discovered he’d had sex with at least But a lot of women find it diicult to be this direct. Research three other girls while we were dating. We had stopped using shows that many still tend to view themselves – and are viewed condoms after about six weeks, because after that length of as – passive recipients of men’s sexual passions. They accept the time, I felt we were ‘going steady’. It never occurred to me that definition of sex as vaginal intercourse, with male orgasm the he might see the situation diferently. “When you fall in love, ultimate goal. These women lack a positive sense of their own you assume your man is decent and won’t lie or be unfaithful. sexual identity. If you find it diicult to tell him what you like in You don’t want to think badly of him, but you have to entertain bed, even after months together, you’ll find it diicult to broach the possibility that he won’t turn out to be Mr Perfect. To be fair the issue of sexual trust. to Brian, we had never discussed not sleeping with other people, When we fall in love, we can become terrified of losing I just assumed he wouldn’t want to.” our partner’s afection, but if you When the infidelities were revealed, feel you can’t raise certain subjects, the six-month relationship ended. In the relationship doesn’t have a good retrospect, Mary was so frightened foundation and you will not feel that by the risks she had left herself open you and your partner have a strong to that she vowed never to make such bond. True love is not based on fear, but assumptions again. “I hope I’m okay,” Many women are married to, or are in on consideration for your desires, hopes she says, “though I have no way of a relationship with, a man who has sex and dreams, and your health. knowing unless I take a test for HIV or with men. Often they have no idea. And Of course, questioning how much you other sexually transmitted diseases, when they discover this, or even just can trust your partner is uncomfortable, and I don’t feel ready to do that. I’ve suspect it, they can feel extremely lonely, but it’s more uncomfortable to discover been seeing a new man for four months isolated, confused, rejected and scared. you’ve been infected with an STD. Safe and I insist on safe sex, which he is fine It can be a huge relief to discover that sex protects you against most sexually there are other women in similar situations. with. As I told him, it’s as much for his transmitted diseases. These pose a Sharing feelings with such women, one on protection as mine. Men forget that. You threat to our health, our fertility and our one or within a support group, can ease the always put your emotions on the line in lives that it is essential that we learn and isolation and can be an excellent source a new relationship, but now, whatever develop the skills necessary to negotiate of information and advice. happens, at least I know I haven’t put my our safety. Of course, you are at an increased health at risk as well.” There are practical ways of going risk of HIV if your partner is having Research shows that many women about it. Negotiate with your partner sex with anyone else. It is unsafe sex – still don’t insist that their regular what is acceptable behaviour within unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse – partner wears a condom. They say your relationship. If he’s as wonderful which carries the risk of contracting HIV. it is easier to negotiate safe sex on a as you think, he’ll care about you and be But if you think your partner is having one-night stand than in a longer-term delighted that you do too. Some women sex with men, ask yourself the following: partnership, as there isn’t full emotional accept that a partner who makes regular 1. Is he practising safe sex? investment. Asking for safe sex in an business trips abroad may be unfaithful, 2. Do I want us to practise safe sex? established partnership implies lack so they have an agreement that condoms 3. Is HIV/Aids, other sexually transmitted of trust, an accusation or admission will be used for these encounters. But diseases and safe sex subjects I can of unfaithfulness. this approach still requires trust. Make talk to him about? Claire, 27, broached the issue with sure you both agree what ‘safe sex’ is: at 4. Where can I go for help? her lover, Thabo, after seeing a TV least always use a condom and lubricant 5. Do we agree on what safe sex is? programme about HIV/Aids. “We each time you have vaginal or anal sex. were still using condoms,” she says, It’s vital to recognise that all “but there was an assumption that this infidelity could put you at risk. Just was temporary while we decided if the because he doesn’t have sex with other relationship was going anywhere. I men or inject drugs, doesn’t mean he’s raised the matter casually by telling him about the programme a ‘safe bet’. Once you have reached a certain level of trust in and the point it made, that a lot of men were too macho to think your relationship, you may both want to take an HIV test – but they could ever be infected by women. At first, he insisted that understand that one negative test result does not come with a there’s nothing to worry about. But when I told him that HIV lifetime guarantee against future infection. infection among women – particularly young women – was on Getting tested for HIV means facing the possibility that one the rise, he accepted that anyone who is having unsafe sex is at of you may be HIV-positive, or have another STD. Could you risk. trust the guy you’re with to stay by your side if your test result We then had an open discussion about past partners and were positive? How would you feel if he were positive? Asking whether we’d ever engaged in unsafe sex. For me, that marked a these questions and giving honest answers could tell you all turning point. If he had resisted discussing it, or couldn’t handle you ever need to know about sexual trust with your partner.
SOURCE Pan Media IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
WHEN HE HAS MORE THAN ONEPARTNER
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When is it the
right time? How do you know if it’s time to take your relationship TO THE NEXT LEVEL? Read on for solid advice. By Abbie Pethullis
When Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphries went public with their relationship and featured on the reality show Keeping Up with the Kardashians, we enthusiastically followed their high-profile romance. And we were so excited when, just five months into their relationship, Chris proposed. Even though Kim filed for divorce 72 days into their marriage, we still compare our relationships pace to theirs and worry that they aren’t progressing at the right speed. “It’s human nature to see what everyone else is doing,” says relationship expert Denise Knowles. “But you can’t make your relationship something it’s not.” To see if you’re on track, read our guide to the stages of how a healthy relationship should progress, and Knowles’ advice on whether you should be taking the next step.
SAYING ‘I LOVE YOU’ When is it the average time to say these
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intimate words? After two to three months, suggests Knowles. “When someone says ‘I love you’, it shows they’re committed to your relationship’s future.” But, she cautions, slow it down. “Those three little words mean a lot, so only say them when you’re ready. Be wary of saying them just after sex when you’re full of happy hormones – you don’t want to regret it later. You can say, ‘I love being with you’ so your partner knows how you feel, without saying, ‘I love you’.” Remember, words need to be followed by actions to ring true. “You need to feel love for your man in everyday situations – like shopping or watching TV together – before you tell him how you feel. And don’t forget that he may not say it back. Try not to take it too hard if he doesn’t – if you’re happy together, it’s better that he says it back to you when he really means it.”
MEETING THE PARENTS “This is a big step as it’s the ultimate seal of approval,” says Knowles. “It’s the first real step to making someone else part of your life and extended family.” Again, tread carefully, she warns. “Don’t rush to invite your man to a big family party if you’re still in the early stages of dating. It could be too much too soon, and you’ll run the risk of scaring him off. After meeting his friends, a good next step is to ask him to introduce you to his siblings – you’ll get to know some of his family, but without the pressure of meeting his parents.” You’re the best person to gauge when it’s the right time. “If you constantly talk to your parents about him and he tells his about you, then you’ve already had an introduction into their lives. The next step is to meet. Pick somewhere neutral like a restaurant for the first meeting, and keep it casual,” says Knowles.
THE BAECATION “This is an important step as it shows you’re both ready to spend more time together,” Knowles says. “You’ll be in unfamiliar surroundings, won’t know anyone else, and will be together 24/7.” It’s best to move at your own pace, she adds, rather than compare
Relationship | TL your family life and friends before you talk about being together forever. You’re not ready to talk about marriage if you’re just thinking of your wedding day. There’s nothing wrong with planning the perfect day, but it’s not the same as being ready to talk about marriage and the future.” Talk frankly with your man to ensure you have similar future plans. “If you’ve spoken about a shared future and have similar values and goals, it’s fine to start talking about marriage. Start saving money together for your future.”
SOURCE Pan Media IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
WHEN HE PROPOSES
yourself to your peers. “Don’t suggest a holiday just because your friends are going on one, and don’t make the mistake of thinking a holiday will take your relationship to the next level. Take things slowly – start with a romantic night in a hotel, and then move on to a weekend away before you commit to a longer holiday. “If you’ve been on a few weekends away and you’re comfortable with your man seeing you without makeup, and you know he’s considerate and will look after you, then book a holiday together. But be prepared to compromise if you have different ideas of what makes a great holiday.”
at your worst, like first thing in the morning and when you’re ill. “If you want to move in together just because it’s convenient, slow down and make sure you’re actually ready. Spend a whole weekend together at your house and see how you get on. If you don’t miss him when he’s gone, or you’re relieved to have your space back, don’t do it. “The ideal first step is to move in with friends or into a house-share. If you’ve done that but still want more privacy and space, then moving to a place for the two of you is the natural next step. Agree on how to pay the bills and be prepared to compromise on whose things go where.”
MOVING IN TOGETHER Most couples move in together after dating for longer than one year. “It’s important that you don’t move in with him just because it’s easier and cheaper than living apart,” warns Knowles. “Living together is a big commitment. You have to be able to be yourself around him and be happy for him to see you when you’re
TALKING MARRIAGE This is one of the biggest steps in a relationship, and it should never be taken lightly. “Only discuss marriage if you’re sure you want to spend the rest of your lives together – not because you feel like your relationship is getting stale,” warns Knowles. “Establish that you can balance
“This means he loves you for who you are and wants to spend the rest of his life with you,” says Knowles. “It’s a pivotal moment that will change both your lives forever. But take your time. Don’t let a friend’s engagement put pressure on your relationship. “An engagement is about real commitment; it should never be just a gesture. Do you really want to be married, or do you just want the excitement of getting engaged? If you’re happy and you’ve moved through the other stages of your relationship, this will naturally feel like the next step. But don’t force it – if your man feels the same way you do, he’ll ask you when he’s ready.” ■
WHY DO CELEBS MOVE SO FAST? Celebrities seem to move in together superfast. Why? “It could be a need for security,” suggests Knowles. “They’re constantly falling in and out of favour with fans and the industry, so it’s not surprising some of them crave security and the ‘normal’ life that a committed relationship offers.” Many stars squeeze in as much time together as possible and need big gestures like engagements to show commitment, so that even if they’re working far away, their partner knows they’ve promised to be faithful to each other. But when they break up, the world knows. Enjoy your ‘normal’ relationship, and take it slowly.
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It’s been 22 years since the termination of pregnancy was legalised in South Africa, but RISKY and SHODDY abortions are still on the rise. By Phila Tyekana and Nomzamo Buyani
st r
eet a bor t i o
Me: “Hello,” I say over the phone, pretending to be a 17-year-old girl desperate to have an abortion. “I saw your poster on a pole at Bree taxi rank. Please help me. I’m seven months’ pregnant and Marie Stopes turned me away.” Him: “Of course, I can help. How far are you? Do you want to come over today? We can make it happen immediately. Do you want the pills – it will cost you R800 – or a same-day procedure? It’s R1 800 for the suction method. I can even come to you and drop of the pills. ” Me: “Are the pills safe? Him: “Even if you were eight or nine months, we’d make it happen.” That’s how easy it is to get a backstreet abortion in South Africa. In less than five minutes, I got a quick fix to terminating a seven-month pregnancy. According to global health group Marie Stopes International, 260 000 abortions take place in the country every year. Of these, they perform 37 000. An estimated 52% of all terminations are done illegally. In 2014, more than 12 000 women were admitted to various clinics in KwaZulu-Natal because of failed illegal abortions. A woman can seek abortion care beyond 20 weeks if continuing the pregnancy is a threat to her life, or in the event of severe foetal abnormalities. Abortions performed beyond 20 weeks are done by trained professionals in hospitals or clinics. “Unsupervised medical abortions in the second trimester are dangerous because they can result in sepsis, serious infection and uncontrolled bleeding and haemorrhage,” says Andrea Thompson, advocacy and engagement manager for Marie Stopes South Africa.
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ns
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a ck
Is the pill legit? “That’s the million-dollar question: are they (illegal abortion practitioners) in cahoots with doctors, pharmacists or even wholesalers?” asks Dr Marlin McKay from the Goldman Medical Centre in Roodepoort, Joburg. He says the pill often used often for illegal abortions is Cytotec. “It’s the trade name for a drug called Misoprostol, which was developed specifically to prevent the major side-efects of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. Ulcers and gastro-intestinal bleeding may result from the anti-inflammatory drugs,” he explains. “Because it’s registered as a schedule 4 drug, a patient can only get it on prescription. The major side-efect of Cytotec is abnormal uterine contractions [labour], so when used by a pregnant woman, she’s at risk of an incomplete abortion. The drug’s risks also include uterine haemorrhage, perforation and rupture. There’s also internal infection of the abdomen and blood poisoning, and an increased risk of infertility to worry about.” Simphiwe, 27, from Sandton, went to Kagiso, west of Joburg, to seek a backstreet abortion, fearing stigmatisation from her well-of friends. She found a former midwife in a squatter camp, who only wanted R300 for traditional medicine the size of a pill. “The instructions were simple: don’t eat anything in the next three hours because you’ll get cramps and start bleeding. When this happens, go to hospital and everything will be done. “As soon as I got home, I had severe cramps and bled heavily. I couldn’t walk. All I remember after that is waking up in hospital with my mother at my side. I had had a miscarriage. Fortunately, it didn’t afect my fertility.”
IMAGE Gallo Images/Getty Images
Indepth | TL Phindi, 30, from Midrand, says she was seven months pregnant when she went to a so-called legit clinic. They sucked the baby out of her and showed her the foetus. “They said to get rid of the body they’d chop it up into pieces as it was a ‘big baby’,” she says. In other clinics it’s said that after the gruesome abortion, the practitioners give you the foetus in a plastic bag to bury or dispose yourself. In her 2011 article called Selling Abortion Pills Underground – published on the website Jozi City – writer Tebogo Mahlaela revealed a dubious tactic used by one backstreet abortion clinic: Some women tell of foreign men who perform abortions in Johannesburg CBD “using their penises to push the pills inside the vagina. The woman will put the pills in the vagina and the man will push it inside her as if they are having sexual intercourse.” Thompson says the tell-tale signs of an illegitimate abortion clinic are hard to detect because crooks have become savvier. “I tell women to look for a landline phone number and a fixed address. Then check if the person is a healthcare provider who’s willing to show you their qualifications and the certificate of their facility’s designation. A legit provider should do a full examination and ensure they only ofer a method that’s clinically sound for the stage of the pregnancy. They should ofer a full consultation where they explain the method, including possible complications, and they should have a way to be contacted to ask questions if any aftercare is required. Sometimes a woman doesn’t know until she’s at the door of an unsafe provider that the person is not safe or legal, but even at that stage it’s not too late to walk away and find a safer option. Most of these people only ofer pills, and they
don’t provide much medical support beyond that. The real scam is that often the pills aren’t what they claim to be and don’t work, or cause complications but don’t end the pregnancy.” Despite these horror stories, backstreet abortion clinics continue to thrive. Why do women put themselves at such risk? “Women point to issues around access, cost and stigma. It could be because their local government clinic is not providing the service, or the wait there is too long. It could be because they worry that private or non-profit providers will be too costly,” says Thompson. In public hospitals, a booking system is used. The procedure is done over 24 hours. Pre counselling takes place on the first day, and when the patient returns on the second day, she’s reminded about what was discussed. Post counselling is also done, and if the woman still feels depressed, she’s welcome to come back after two weeks. At Marie Stopes, medical consultations are done before any procedures to ensure a woman is making an informed choice. They don’t provide counselling per se, but refer women externally if something is required. “For the most part, we find that women come to our clinics with a clear plan and have already made their decision. We don’t pressure anyone to go forward with a termination. Our nurses give all the necessary information,” says Thompson. “We often see women in our centres who’ve previously tried to self-induce an abortion, or who have visited an unsafe provider. We urge women to come to us directly as often the complications that result from what they’ve done mean our nurses aren’t equipped to assist and have to refer them to casualty at a hospital.” ■
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Somewhere over the rainbow. Mother’s Day 8 May.
Fill Mother’s Day with colour. Visit your nearest Le Creuset Boutique Store and make Mom’s day. Shop online at www.lecreuset.co.za or call our customer help line on 086 177 3321 for more information. Free delivery on all online orders.
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CAVENDISH SQUARE . TYGER VALLEY CENTRE . SOMERSET MALL . GARDENS CENTRE . THE CONSTANTIA VILLAGE . KILLARNEY MALL . BEDFORD CENTRE . HYDE PARK CORNER . CLEARWATER MALL BROOKLYN MALL . WOODLANDS BOULEVARD . LA LUCIA MALL . THE PAVILION . WATERFALL MALL RUSTENBURG . SANDTON CITY . V&A WATERFRONT . NICOLWAY BRYANSTON . CANAL WALK W A L M E R P A R K . F R A N S C H H O E K . W A T E R S T O N E V I L L A G E . C R E S T A S H O P P I N G C E N T R E . G R O V E M A L L N A M I B I A . B AY W E S T . WAT E R C R E S T . M A L L O F T H E S O U T H . C E N T U R I O N M A L L . M A L L O F A F R I C A
LUXE LIVING SPOIL YOUR MOTHER with all things EXQUISITE this month.
Share delightful bubbles For a decadent dessert drink, sip on Pongrácz NV. It has a wonderful foaming mousse with a baked bread nuttiness and a full fruity taste, thanks to crisp green apple tones. It comprises two noble varietals, Chardonnay and Pinot Noir. For an NV and peach jelly recipe, log on to www.truelove.co.za.
COMPILED BY Tumelo Mushi-Sebopa IMAGES Supplied
CLASS SIC SWEE ET CHILL LI FLAVO OUR
LESS IS MORE THESE DAYS, AS SEEN IN THIS CLASSIC-MODERN KITCHEN. LIGHT, SPACE AND CLEAN LINES GIVE IT LASTING APPEAL. – For more information, visit www.easylifekitchens.co.za
Made with dried apricots and d peaches, Mrs Ball’s is a versatile d in many sauce found homes in Soouth Africa. d it to kebabs, You can add fish cakes, beef b stew or pork ribs forr a sweet punch and a tasty treat. The classic Mrs Ball’s chutney is now n also n jalapeno available in aka flavours. and chakala Get yours att leading supermarkeets. WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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APPLE AND SAGE STUFFED GRILLED PORK Serves: 4 Prep time: 35 minutes Ingredients 4 thick pork chops Freshly ground black pepper ½ cup Chinese BBQ sauce 1 apple, finely grated 1 small onion, finely grated 1 clove garlic, crushed 4 sage leaves, finely chopped 1 cup mozzarella cheese, grated Salt to taste
Method 1. Make a medium incision in the chops for stuing. Season with black pepper and BBQ sauce on both sides. 2. In a bowl, mix apple, onion, garlic, sage and mozzarella. Season with salt and pepper. Stuf chops. (Visit www.truelove.co.za to see how to stuf the chops.) 3. Grill pork for 20 minutes. Serve with vegetables of your choice.
Special TREAT LUNCH WITH MOM doesn't have to be heavy. Show appreciation for the important woman in your life with these delicious LIGHT MEALS. By Tumelo Mushi-Sebopa Photographs Graeme Wyllie
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Entertaining | TL
GREEN TEA AND MINT INFUSED PANNACOTTA Serves: 4 Prep time: 5 hours Ingredients 1½ cup milk 1 mint green tea bag Handful fresh mint leaves 1/3 cup sugar 1½ cups heavy cream 5T powdered gelatin Method 1. In a small saucepan, heat 1 cup milk and add mint green tea bag, mint leaves and sugar, but do not boil. Remove from stove. 2. Sprinkle gelatin over remaining ½ cup milk. Place the cup in boiling water to dissolve gelatin. 3. Whisk cream in a saucepan and add dissolved gelatin. Mix and stir thoroughly. 4. Pour mixture into cups and place in the fridge overnight. Remove from the fridge just before serving with granadilla sauce.
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RED TURKEY CURRY Serves: 4 Prep time: 75 minutes Ingredients 2T sunflower oil 1 onion, finely sliced 500g turkey drumsticks, sliced 3T red curry paste 4 cups stock 1 cup dry white wine Method 1. Preheat oven to 180째C. In an ovenproof saucepan, heat oil and brown meat on all sides. Add onion. Stir continually. 2. Add curry paste and cook until all meat is coated. Remove from heat. 3. Add stock and wine, close lid or with foil and place in the oven. 4. Bake until meat is cooked through and the liquid is reduced and thick. Serve warm.
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Entertaining | TL GARLIC AND HERB CREAM CHEESE WITH TOMATO CHILLI JAM Serves: 6 Prep time: 30 minutes Method 1. In a glass bowl, add cream cheese, garlic, onion and sage. 2. Divide the mixture into 4 and place on cling wrap, and tie loosely. 3. Place in a bowl or cup to give shape. Place in fridge until set. Serve with tortilla chips and mince rolls. (For the mince roll recipe and how to make it, visit www.truelove.co.za.)
PROPS @home ASSISTANT Tebogo Maboa
Ingredients 1 tub smooth cream cheese, plain 2 cloves garlic, crushed 1 small onion, finely chopped 1 bunch sage leaves, finely chopped
WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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BBQ CHICKEN SPATCHCOCK Serves: 8 Prep time: 60 minutes Ingredients ⅓ cup light tomato sauce ¼ cup light chutney 4T raw honey 1 whole chicken 2T sage, finely chopped 3T chicken seasoning 1 large roasting bag Method 1. Preheat oven to 180°C. In a bowl, mix tomato sauce, chutney and raw honey. Season chicken with sage and spice, and place in a roasting bag. Pour in tomato sauce and chutney, close bag, and shake until fully coated. 2. Place chicken in bag on an oven tray and roast until tender and cooked. Serve.
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Eat Rite | TL
LEAN & MEAN CHICKEN Bump up the flavour with succulent and SLIMMING chicken meals.
By Tumelo Mushi-Sebopa Photographs Graeme Wyllie
CHICKEN CANNELLONI Serves: 4 Prep time: 40 minutes Ingredients 1 pkt cannelloni shells 2T avocado oil 2 chicken breasts, thinly sliced ½ onion, finely sliced ¼ red, yellow and green peppers, sliced ½ cup chicken stock 1 cup no-fat cream cheese 1 x 400g can chopped tomato and herbs 1 cup mozzarella, grated Method 1. Preheat oven to 180°C. In a large saucepan, heat oil and brown chicken on all sides. Add onion and all the peppers, and stir-fry for 5 minutes. 2. Add chicken stock and cook until thickened. Add cream cheese and season to taste. Set aside. 3. Grease an oven-proof dish. Stuf the cylindrical shells with chicken and place in the dish. Pour tomato sauce over and top with grated mozzarella. 4. Bake for 30 minutes. Serve.
WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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TL | Eat Rite HONEY-GLAZED CHICKEN WINGS Serves: 4 Prep time: 40 minutes
Method 1. Preheat oven to 180°C. In a large bowl, mix mustard, garlic, honey and lemon juice. Add wings and marinate for 10 minutes. 2. Remove wings from the sauce. In a large oven tray, place wings and grill for 20 minutes, basting with the mustard marinade every 5 minutes. 3. Pour on the rest of the marinade 5 minutes before end of cooking time. Serve.
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VisEi.CtO.ZA
TRUELOV for moere recip s
PROPS @home ASSISTANTS Tebo and Lebo Ndala
Ingredients 1 cup English mustard 2T garlic paste ⅓ cup raw honey ¼ cup lemon juice 400g chicken wings 2T chicken spice
Advertorial | TL LEMON ICE TEA COCKTAIL Makes: 2 Ingredients 50ml whisky 275ml can Rose’s Lemon Flavoured Ice Tea, cold A dash of Angostura bitters Ice cubes Method 1. In a cocktail mixer, add ice, whisky, Rose’s Lemon Flavoured Ice Tea and bitters. Shake well. 2. Pour into a cocktail or Martini glass and serve garnished with lemon or lime rind and mint.
IMAGES Lwazi Hlophe
REFRESHING COCKTAIL Set the mood for your date with the sophisticated ROSE’S ICE TEA. Up the tempo by adding a dash of whisky to create an exquisite cold cocktail for two.
Go to www.rosescordial.co.za for more cocktail recipes
Rose’s Cordial South Africa
Rose’s Cordial South Africa
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@RosesCordial
| 2016 MAY | 137
WELL POSITIONED This CONTEMPORARY HOME is an interplay of LIGHT and ARCHITECTURAL FORMS that work together to give the family ABSOLUTE PRIVACY. By Nina August
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Decor | TL
THE CRISP WHITE KITCHEN IS ONE OF THE FAMILY’S FAVOURITE SPACES IN THE HOUSE.
STONE AND GLASS DEFINE THE HOME’S STRIKING EXTERIOR, CREATING AN INVITING FAÇADE.
OPPOSITE: THE GENEROUS LOUNGE SPACE APPEARS BIGGER THANKS TO THE GLASS PANELS. ABOVE: THE DINING ROOM.
Owners Mark and Sandy Gold’s brief to the architects was to create the ultimate luxury home – and they had an extensive wish list. The challenge was to incorporate all these requirements as part of a six-bedroom family home that needed to make the most of the spectacular position. The couple wanted the street view of the house to be subtle and modest in order to provide the family with privacy. Once through the double entrance doors, though, there’s a striking entrance hall where the interplay of architectural forms creates a dynamic light space. The ground floor houses an open-plan kitchen, dining room and living area with a seamless flow from the interior to the exterior rear terrace and landscaped garden. Located at the front of the house is a study, which benefits from a floor-to-ceiling wall where natural light floods the room. This home oice was an important design consideration for the couple, both of whom work internationally and needed some workspace to enable them to conduct their business from home in between business trips. The house also has an extensive wellness area, accessed of the main living area. The spa includes a 10-metre indoor swimming pool and a Jacuzzi. This area has oversized glass sliding doors to the terrace and garden, facilitatingaseamlessflowbetweentheinteriorandexterior. > WWW.TRUELOVE.CO.ZA
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TL | Decor
THE BEDROOMS HAVE EN-SUITE BATHROOMS FOR PRIVACY AND LUXURY LIVING. BELOW: THE BATH, BUILT INTO AN ENCLAVE, HAS BEAUTIFUL VIEWS.
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Both the living and wellness areas have direct access to the beautiful landscaped garden. This integration between inside and outside spaces was key, say the owners. Looking back towards the house, one is struck by the solid stone forms that are linked by the first-floor terrace, which is defined by an aluminium fascia. The amount of glazing is striking, and the first floor’s glazed bedroom doors have frames which celebrate their form. The exterior of the secondfloor master suite is framed with an aluminium material that echoes the first-floor patio. Inset within the roof is a hidden part accessed of the master suite, which is private and protected from the elements; this section also has an outdoor fireplace, perfect for watching the sun go down in the chilly autumn evenings. The central vertical spine of the house is flooded by natural light via the staircase showcasing the owners’ love of contemporary art, lighting and modern furniture. A triple-volume glazed-window spans the first and second floor. The first floor accommodates four bedrooms, all with en-suite bathrooms and stunning sea views. All the rooms are luxuriously furnished. There’s a media room on the first floor for those comfy evenings when the family wants to watch a film or spend quality time together. The freestanding bed takes centre stage in the master bedroom, also with a spectacular view. The master en-suite bathroom has a large window with a bath built in that takes full advantage of the views. All bedrooms are linked to the automated media system. At the bottom of the staircase, leading to the basement, is a glazed walled wine cellar – an important addition for Mark and Sandy as they are avid wine collectors. The basement houses an extravagant games room, large enough for a pool table and seating area with a bar. There is also a gym area separated by a glass wall, further enhancing the lifestyle spa elements of the house. Mark and Sandy are delighted with the home and express their pleasure in the lived experience achieved. “This is our ultimate luxury family home – it’s the epitome of contemporary design for modern living,” say the couple. ■
SOURCE AND IMAGES Living4media
THE STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY OF THE HOME ENSURES THAT LIGHT IS A PERMANENT FEATURE, MADE POSSIBLE BY A COPIOUS AMOUNT OF GORGEOUS GLAZING.
What window dressing will enhance the natural simplicity of my bathroom? – Noni, Westville Cut-to-measure 25mm Aluminum Venetian Blind (Brushed Brown)
Copper
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Custom-made 25mm Aluminum Venetian Blind (Taupe)
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Aluminium venetian blinds are unadorned, fuss-free and easy to maintain. Choosing an earthy colour that blends with the other elements in your bathroom will help create a warm tranquil atmosphere. These blinds offer you maximum control of the natural lighting in the room and are a rust-resistant solution for bathrooms.
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TL | Motoring V-CLASS MERCEDES The V-Class is easily distinguishable by its 19-inch alloy wheels that complement the standard upgraded sports suspension. Your family will be pampered by the leather interiors that come in black or beige, coupled with electrically adjusted heating and ventilation functions throughout the interior. Space is generous, with a sliding door on the right optional as you opt to have it on the left side too. The top-of-the-range V250 BlueTEC machine consists of a four-cylinder turbo diesel engine and produces 187 horsepower and 354 torque that’s paired exclusively with a 7-speed automatic gearbox. This 7-seater V-Class oozes opulence and style. PRICE: R1 006 871.
MOMMY VANS VW CARAVELLE The new Caravelle is back to reclaim its minivan glory. The exterior has remained the same, but the interior has undergone a revamp. The new dashboard design has a touch-screen infotainment system that senses the inputs when your hand approaches the display. There’s a multifunctional Servotronic power steering wheel that is sensitive to speed. The 2.0 litre bi-turbo engine produces 132Kw/400 Nm, and can only be paired with a front-wheel or a 4motion all-wheel drive and a 7-speed DSG transmission. This family bus has ample boot space and moveable thirdrow seats. The Rest Assist feature that detects fatigue, as well as child-seat anchorage points, are impressive safety highlights. The Caravelle is sold with a 3-year or 120 000km manufacturer’s warranty and a 5-year or 60 000km maintenance plan, as well as a 2-year anti-corrosion warranty on 15 000km service intervals. PRICE: R848 800.
No longer just for LIFTING KIDS, minivans are hip cars for BUSY MOMS. By Nthabiseng Mofokeng
The Hyundai H-1’s ability to seat eight adults with ample legroom and large boot space is what every mom wants. The Korean manufacturer has a new-look grille and redesigned alloy wheels. Conveniences like a leather multifunctional steering wheel, a full automatic air conditioning system, electric folding mirrors and cruise control are the vehicle’s highlights. Safety features include an electronic stability programme (ESP) along with driver orpassenger airbags and ABS brakes with electronic brakeforce distribution. The 2.5 litre turbo diesel automatic is better than the 2.4 manual version as it can haul a heavy load and is lighter on fuel. The best thing about the vehicle is that each row gets its own airconditioning vent, which comes in handy on those hot days when cruising with family and friends. PRICE: R579 900.
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IMAGES Supplied
HYUNDAI H-1
BH67607
POWER FOR THE EMPOWERED. Experience the Ford FIESTA’s award-winning turbocharged 1.0 EcoBoost engine. Ofering better fuel eiciency, lower CO2 emissions and all the power you need, you can go your own way and do it in style.
Get Smart. Get Ahead. 24 Hours a Day.
FORD FIESTA
Here’s a star-studded comedy with Jennifer Aniston, Julia Roberts, Kate Hudson and Jason Sudeikis. The film tells some funny, some poignant stories of diferent mothers and their kids over the week before Mother’s Day, bringing out emotions that lead up to a meaningful Mother’s Day. A hearty and hilarious movie. Rating: 3/5 Distributor: Times Media Release date: 6 May 2016
MIRACLE FROM HEAVEN Based on a true story, the film is about 10-year-old Anna, who is battling an incurable disease. After a near-death experience, she claims to have met Jesus, and bales doctors as she wakes up cured of her illness. Rating: 3/5 Distributor: Ster-Kinekor/ Columbia Pictures Release date: 6 May 2016
GOING IN STYLE Three retired pals who live together in a New York flat need money and decide to rob a bank, even though none of them knows how to use a gun. Drama ensues as the robbery becomes a media frenzy, and police go after them and one has a heart attack. Rating: 4/5 Distributor: Warner Bros Release date: 20 May 2016
THE MAN WHO KNEW INFINITY The true story of a man, Srinivasa Ramanujan, who taught himself maths and was admitted to Cambridge University during World War I. He became a pioneer in mathematical theory with the help of his professor. Rating: 4/5 Distributor: Times Media Films Release date: 20 May 2016
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WAR ROOM The Jordans have it all: a dream house, a beautiful daughter and a great life. But husband Tony lets temptation get the better of him, and his wife, Elizabeth, realises her marriage is in trouble. Things start to change when she meets Clara, who encourages the couple to find strength and happiness in prayer.
MISSISSIPPI GRIND Two strangers meet by chance at a poker game: Gerry, a gambling addict who faces financial hardship, believes Curtis is his lucky charm and manages to convince Curtis to travel with him and try their luck in gambling dens. They take a road trip to a highstakes poker game in New Orleans, hoping to win big.
THE JAKES ARE MISSING A local film starring Mampho Brescia and Mpho Sebeng as mother and son. A couple has fallen out of love, and their son finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time, witnessing a murder. To flee the gangsters, the family is forced to go live in a small town under witness protection.
A WALK IN THE WOODS After spending 20 years in the UK, a famous travel writer returns home to the US to retire. He takes one last hike on the Appalachian Trail with his oldest friend to experience the unspoiled countryside. Together they find adventure, and their true selves.
LEFT BEHIND This movie is about a biblical prophecy being fulfilled: one minute Earth is full of people; the next, all true believers vanish without a trace and chaos reigns as cars crash and planes fall from the sky. In all this drama, Nicolas Cage plays a pilot trying to save the lives of the passengers left behind, only to discover that his wife and child have also disappeared.
BY Nthabiseng Mofokeng and Lucinda Human IMAGES Supplied
MOVIES
MOTHER’S DAY
DVDs
TL | Movies & Dvds
Advertorial | TL
HEARTY BEANS Whip up a WARM BEAN and VEGETABLE STIR-FRY dish this MOTHER'S DAY from KOO's delicious range.
BEANS AND VEGETABLE STIR-FRY Serves: 4 Prep time: 30 minutes Ingredients 2T canola oil 1 onion, finely sliced 1 clove garlic, crushed 1 carrot, cut into thin strips 1/2 small cabbage, shredded 3 peppers (red, green and yellow), sliced 100g broccoli, cut into florets 125g mushrooms, finely sliced 2T light soy sauce Sea salt and freshly ground pepper to taste 1 can KOO Butter Beans, drained 1 can KOO Speckled Beans, drained Method 1. In a wok, heat oil and saute the onion and garlic until onion is translucent. Add carrot, cabbage, peppers, mushrooms and broccoli. Fry for 10 minutes. 2. Add soy sauce and season with salt and ground pepper to taste. 3. Add KOO Butter Beans and KOO Speckled Beans and cook for another 5 minutes until beans are hot. Serve warm.
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TL | Music & Books BOOKS
NOT WORKING by Lisa Owens, Pan Macmillan, R310 Twenty-something-year-old Londoner Claire Flannery abruptly leaves her unsatisfying job to pursue self-discovery. But now that she’s free, things aren’t as easy as they seem. Everyone around her is climbing the corporate ladder while she wonders where and how she fits in. Pushing away those who love her, Claire drowns her sorrows and self-pity in litres of wine. This sharp and hilarious novel is relatable, and a fun read. Rating: 3/5
Award-winning singersongwriter MOHALE MASHIGO talks about her new book, The Yearning.
by Zakes Mda, Umuzi Publishers, R236 Set in 1903, Little Suns is an informative and delightful account of real events that took place before and after the War of Hope – named after the colonial magistrate Hamilton Hope – in the Eastern Cape. Intertwined is also the transcendental fictional story of disabled and stubborn Malanga and his soulmate, Mthwakazi. The amaMpondomise War against British rule is expertly told, making it a must-read novel. Rating: 4/5
I started writing the book while I was working in advertising. I hated my job. Writing helped me get through the day. I’d write during my lunch breaks. I’ve been writing since I could hold a pen. It’s the editing process that’s difficult. It’s invasive and frightening.
SWEET MEDICINE
The opening line of the book, “My mother died seven times before she gave birth to me”, is shocking. It’s beautiful, but it doesn’t make sense until you know the main character, Marubini, and her story.
MUSIC
by Panashe Chigumadzi, Jacana Media, R180 Taking place at the height of the Zimbabwean economic meltdown in 2008, Sweet Medicine is the story of gullible Tsitsi, who compromises her Catholic upbringing because she’s desperate to find work. She soon learns that survival is not about what you know, but who you’re seen with. Chigumadzi’s debut novel is a refreshing narrative about the socioeconomic hardships faced by urban youth. Rating: 4/5
The book that I’d save in a fire is Oh, the Places You’ll Go! by Dr Seuss because it cheers me up, and it has some really good advice about life. I often carry it with me when I’m having a rough week. It’s a great book for kids and adults. Authors I’d like to dine with include Toni Morrison, Zakes Mda and Haruki Murakami. My favourite book is Beloved by Toni Morrison. It was one of the first “grown-up” novels I read in high school. I wish I could have written it.
OUR MAY PLAYLIST MALOME – Cassper Nyovest ft Mahotela Queens (Tsakane Ndlovu) BEEN TO THE MOON – Corinne Bailey Rae (Brian Mahlaba) MONEY – Khuli Chana (Zethu Zulu) FADE – Kanye West ft Ty Dolla $ign and Post Malone (Given Zondi) SUMMERTIME – Da Les ft Riky Rick (Lerato Seuoe) NOMAYINI – Kwesta (Nhlakanipho Nhlapo) AMASTARTA – Big Nuz (Sihle Madlala) JUICE BACK – Nasty C (Lucinda Human) ZULU GIRLS – Major League ft Riky Rick (Jermain Hendriks) HYMN FOR THE WEEKEND – Coldplay ft Beyoncé (Phila Tyekana) A THOUSAND YEARS – Sting (Nthabiseng Mofokeng) STRESSED OUT – 21 Pilots (Nonhlanhla Khumalo) JUMP – Anatii ft Cassper Nyovest (Rose Modise) KISS IT BETTER – Rihanna (Mbali Soga) FORMATION – Beyoncé (Amanda Ndlangisa)
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COMPILED BY Nthabiseng Mofokeng and Zethu Zulu IMAGES Supplied
LITTLE SUNS
Feedback | TL THE LOVELY DECOR
LIRA
KULI ROBERTS
WHITE AFFAIR
TRUE LOVE and SURF hosted an empowering event at Joburg’s posh Hyatt Regency.
CAROL MANANA
On a Saturday morning, women dazzled in white outfits and received a warm welcome from MC and Surf ambassador Carol Manana. Inspirational women who shared words of wisdom included clinical psychologist Dr Tshepiso Matentjie, fashion designer Hangwani Nengovhela, founder of 18twenty8 Refiloe Seseane, and TRUE LOVE fashion and beauty director Mbali Soga. The guests also enjoyed a fashion show by Rubicon, while award-winning songstress Lira belted out a lovely performance. There was positive energy as guests mingled and enjoyed a sumptuous bufet, and everyone walked away with lovely goodie bags from Surf.
TL’S MBALI SOGA
DR TSHEPISO MATENTJIE
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SOPHIE AND FRIEND. TLALENG, CHARMAINE AND TUMI.
KATLEGO WITH MOM.
Grand DINNER
KWELA TEBZA.
Guests gathered for a grand white dinner at Turffontein Racecourse and enjoyed some bubblyy and live performances. MASSY, ZEE AND ABO.
S SINAZO. REAL_SHANDAPAL.
LESEGO, WENDY AND SIMPHIWE.
LESHOLE, TANKISO AND MPHO.
THE
C I T Y ISS
OU UR
PL AYG RO UN ND
see you there
Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18.
Out & About | TL
SPHIWE AND MAPASEKA.
LUNGA.
Night with THE STARS
NOKUTHULA AND SAMKELO.
Actors and actresses met in Sandton to celebrate upcoming popular shows viewers can look forward to on e.tv.
ATANDWA AND NYALLENG.
IMAGES Godfrey Madimetja
THEMBI AND SAMKELO.
TSHOLO AND FRIEND. LUNGA.
Natural and a Sweet
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Not for Sale to Persons Under the Age of 18.
TL | Horoscopes TAURUS (20 Apr – 20 May) Stop and get of the Ferris wheel. Take a more relaxed approach. It’s when you shut out the noise that the solutions and ideas stream in. Give yourself the time to be inspired. Factor in some playtime; make dates with friends – you have a lot you want to talk about. Love: Love is in the air; in fact it’s on your doorstep. Passion can make you sizzle, but the smallest things, if you pick on them, will bite back. Work/Money: As intensity levels rise, step back and prioritise what must be done; things ease after the 22nd. Avoid overpromising and underdelivering.
BY ANGELIQUE SALA ILLUSTRATION Dreamstime.com
GEMINI (21 May – 20 Jun) Your ruler remains in retrograde until the 22nd – brush of the chaos and misunderstandings. Tackle what you have put on ice for far too long. Love: Talk about the diicult things and defuse potential flare-ups before the 28th. Cupid starts to point its arrow in your direction from the 24th. Work/Money: Some money issues may be exaggerated – get a second opinion.
VIRGO (23 Aug – 22 Sep) This year has been intense on many levels. At times it can feel overwhelming. Pace yourself – prioritise recovery time. Love: Make travel plans after the 9th; you’re in the mood for adventure. If you’re single,youwantalltheromantictrimmings. Work/Money: Not everything goes according to plan, but after the 22nd, things should be on track. Keep duplicates of all paperwork to be on the safe side.
LIBRA (23 Sep – 22 Oct)
CANCER (21 Jun – 22 Jul) Double-check your messages before sending them out; errors creep into the most important communications. From the 9th, a new wave of local travel possibilities comes your way. Love: If you’re single, your social network’s love antenna picks up signals of romance. Work/Money: It’s what you say and to whom that can make a big diference at work, so watch your tongue.
Get your admin in order. Sort out the traic fines. Have a debt payment plan. If something doesn’t make sense to you, find out why. Love: You may lose interest when things get too complicated – some behaviour just isn’t acceptable. Work/Money: Don’t take everything at face value. Keep an eye on opportunities coming your way from the 9th.
LEO (23 Jul – 22 Aug) This month you have a way with words, so use them efectively. Watch your tendency to spend on stuf you don’t need. Love: Balance is key: be dependable; make sure there is enough passion (not war); and plan a romantic date. Work/Money: This is your moment, so make use of all the opportunities to improve your work situation. From the 9th, be brave and ask for more.
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SCORPIO (23 Oct – 21 Nov) The way you relate to people has been changing – your comfort zone needs readjusting. Be flexible and go with the flow. Love: Scorpios need the deep, meaningful kind of love – well, this is your month. Rekindle the flame or light a new one. Work/Money: It may seem as if you are wading through thick mud. You cannot see the progress now, but just keep at it. You’ll start seeing results soon enough.
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SAGITTARIUS (22 Nov – 21 Dec) Responsibilities have forced you to change what you wished for this year, but new and diferent opportunities keep you on your toes. After the 9th, things open up. Love: Getting your messages in a muddle could get you into trouble. Show your love by your everyday actions – it counts. Work/Money: From the 9th, the planet of expansion gets back on track in your career, so expect more work.
CAPRICORN (22 Dec – 19 Jan) It’s time to pack your bags and go travelling. Get your home in order, renovate and throw stuf out. Love: The love planet wants to play, so if you’re single, go out and have fun. You need a distraction to defuse your frustration. Work/Money: Being steadfast is what you do best. This month you may unlock a deadlock and finalise an aspect of your life.
AQUARIUS (20 Jan – 18 Feb) If things feel stagnant, don’t believe it. Things are always happening behind the scenes. Use your time wisely. Love: Don’t be shy if you’re single. Make yourselfavailable.Ifyou’reinarelationship, make home your love haven. Work/Money: If you’re feeling lucky, buy a lotto ticket after the 9th. Opportunities present themselves that help you find efective solutions.
PISCES (19 Feb – 20 Mar) When you feel frustrated, slow down and do something else. Getting used to changes at work takes time. Love: Wait until after the 9th and you can double your love suitors. Magic is in the air – let some of the love dust land on you. Work/Money: Keep tabs on your expenditure; there is less cash flow, even when you’re in the process of building an empire.
ARIES (21 Mar – 19 Apr) Instead of making things happen, try to step back and watch how things unfold. Behaving like a bully doesn’t mean you’re in control. Love: Are you ready to tie the knot? Cupid is in your love house, generating all sorts of activity. Work/Money: Become a delegator – you have much more important things to do. Just don’t forget about the paperwork. ■
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Preacher’s CHILD
We chat to Idols 2015 winner KARABO MOGANE, 24, on being a pastor’s kid, meeting BeBe Winans, and the unique sound he’s after. By Phila Tyekana
When Karabo Mogane won Idols, he caught the attention of not only South Africans, but also that of international gospel singer, BeBe Winans, who saw Mogane’s Idols performances on YouTube. Impressed by his voice, Winans got hold of his email address and reached out to him. The two met while Winans was in the country and spoke about a possible collaboration. “Meeting Winans was surreal. I’ve
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always respected him as one of the few artists in the world who make music that appeals to everyone. “He’s proof that in life you always have to bring your A-game, because you never know who’s watching.” Idols judge Somizi Mhlongo once said Mogane’s personality was as interesting as “dishwashing liquid”, while Randall Abrahams was adamant that he had no talent. Despite the odds stacked against
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him, Mogane was crowned winner of the reality show last November. Often, winners fizzle out of the limelight. So, five months after walking away with R700 000, how are things going? “The music industry is tough! As an artist, I’ve learnt you sacrifice so much of yourself. It’s up to me to organise my own gigs and interviews. But it’s exciting to be recognised and have strangers tell me I’m doing a great job,” he says. To avoid falling into the trap of “dying poor”, Karabo says he invested some of his money, and used the rest to set up his own production company. “Karabo Music Productions will nurture and focus solely on my career for now. I’m also looking into buying property.” Born in Nelspruit as the last of eight children, Mogane says he’d always wanted to enter Idols, but chose first to complete his studies on geoinformatics at the University of Stellenbosch. When funds became an issue, he quit school and turned to music. “My mom is a teacher and my dad a pastor, so we didn’t have much. It’s tough being a preacher’s kid as people judge you harshly, especially now that I’m an Idols winner. I refuse to be pressured by the burdens of stardom. When I’m in a position to live the bling life, I will. Right now, I’m building a solid foundation for myself. Material possessions can take a back seat.” The crooner says his debut album, an R&B ofering titled Love Is a Verb, was recorded within five days after he won Idols. “If you listen carefully, you’ll understand my style and how it’s influenced by musicians like Judith Sephuma, Lira, Brian Temba, John Legend and Joe Thomas. I love how their music touches the soul. They have staying power, and we’ll still be listening to their songs years from now.” Mogane’s new single, Ngifuna Lo, produced by Robbie Malinga, is a fan favourite and can be heard on various radio stations. Fame comes with admirers, and the singer gets his fair share. However, he says he has no time for a relationship. “I’m focusing on my career. I want to make sure it grows before I divide my attention.” He does confess, though, to having a crush on presenter Boitumelo ‘Boity’ Thulo. ■
IMAGE Supplied
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