Klutch Chronicle February 2015 by Michelle L. Jerome

volume 2, Issue 2

February 2015

Rundown by the Railway

La Crosse Losing Its Ground

Yellow-Be Sapsuckerllied s Son

gs from the Heart of the Drift less

Frozen River Film Festival

Keepin’ It “Reel” Coaodle for a Dec KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

R E E R A C R YOU E.

R E H S T R STA

! W O N L L ENNRCOIAL AID IS AVAILABLE

T A D E T R A T S GET

U D E . Y M E D A C A O R P N O L A S

FINA Y F I L A U Q O H W FOR THOSE -UP E K A M , S C I T E ESTH TECHNOLOGY , Y G O L O T E M S CO AIL N , Y P A R E H T E MASSAG

KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

EDITOR’S NOTE Casey Kulinski February. The month of love. That ever-so-popular day, February 14, comes around each year when you’re supposed to do something special for your sweety. I always ask myself, why not make the important people in your life feel special every day and not wait for a designated day where we are supposedly “required” to? This year I wanted to try something new and am excited to be attending the La Crosse Symphony Orchestra’s Valentine’s Day Ball to help support the organization as well as enjoy some great food, music and company with some fellow Rotary members of mine (plus I get to wear a fancy dress!). There are many other events happening on V-Day that I’m sure will also be of great interest to all you Klutch readers - check our calendar or articles (p. 28-29) for more details! We are so lucky here at Klutch to have such awesome readers, and we want to shout our love from the rooftops - not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day of the year!

CULTURE AND ENTERTAINMENT IN THE COULEE REGION ISSUE NO. 2 // FEBRUARY, 2015 WWW.KLUTCHCHRONICLE.COM

ABOUT KLUTCH CHRONICLE Klutch Chronicle brings a fresh and edgy look into the dynamic culture, lifestyles, and entertainment scene in the Coulee Region Community!

Connect With Klutch: OFFICES: 3120 South Ave La Crosse WI 54601

A WORD FROM THE ASSOCIATE PUBLISHER Michelle L. Jerome

PHONE: 608-796-8780

February is a month of love. I love my family and my Mister to the utmost. I also love our natural world. My career started by volunteering and working to promote the beauty of nature because I feel we need to preserve the amazing gifts the natural world provides. The healing power of a stroll through Hixon Forest, the refreshing allure of floating along the Mississippi River, and the restorative energy of a bike ride through the La Crosse River Marsh … this is what our corner of the world means to me. A portion of Hixon Forest has already been killed, and more than 7 acres of our marshland are about to be destroyed. Many people didn’t even know this was coming, and now that trees have been clear-cut, the public is crying out and pointing fingers. At the end of the day, the BNSF railway system has railroaded our town. The issue is way more complex and deep, and ultimately, it’s in the name of money and oil. Meanwhile, both nature and our community lose big. I’m left wondering if anything can still be done to stop the tracks. State legislators are now speaking up, but is it too late? I’ll let Matt take it from here on page 13.

EMAIL: info@muellermediacorp.com FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/klutchchronicle www.klutchchronicle.com

THE KLUTCH CREW:

inside

ARTWORK ON THE COVER “The Lipstick of the Squid Makes a Nice Stain on my Rug” 42” X 102” triptych; oil on canvas

by Kim Vaughter This piece is all about making connections. When asked about its meaning, I urge the viewer to decide for themselves, and to know that whatever they think, it is not wrong. The connection an individual has with a piece of art is unique and their own, something I have found to be most important in my art making process. Your background as a human being affects this painting’s meaning more than anything I have to say about it. About the artist: Kim is a painter and fabric artist living in La Crosse, Wisconsin. She graduated with a BFA degree in painting and art history, and is working on a second degree in graphic design. She has had her work published in various magazines and books, including NOTA, Volume One, and now Klutch Chronicle. Her work has been seen in Galleries across Wisconsin, including an upcoming show at the Pump House in late February. For more information visit www.facebook.com/ KimVaughterArt

Klutch Live What’s Up

Hometown Headlines The Scoop on our region

Technology Geeks unite

Family What’s most important

A&E A monthly dose of culture

Food & Drink Down the hatch

Health and Fitness Taking care of you

Volunteer Do onto others...

Klutch Calendar Coming down the pipe

this issue 4

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

m or e. ..

9 Attraction of the Month 10 Meet & Cheese 12 The Word from City Hall 12 WTF? Stories 1 5 App Review 18 The Written Word 22 Tunes Review 25 Drink of the Month 30 On the Flip Side

Publisher: Rick Mueller Associate Publisher: Michelle Jerome Editor: Casey Kulinski Creative Director: Jason Keeney Graphic Designers: Will Adamany and Josh Walker Advertising Strategists: Rachel Albrechtson, Jenna Walker Copy Editor: Susan Miller Photographers: Bruce Defries, Jenna Walker Distribution: Citywide Marketing Services Advertising Info: You know you want to be seen in Klutch! Contact us by email or call 608-796-8780 for more information on rates, distribution, and sizes. Contributor/Submissions: Please submit art and writing samples for our submissions pages at http://klutchchronicle.com/writing-art-submissions/. Interested in contributing to Klutch? Please contact info@muellermediacorp.com Internships/Jobs: Internships are available at Klutch! Check us out and apply at klutchchronicle.com

www.klutchchronicle.com

MUSINGS OF

AN EX-PAT

he only way to face winter is to punch whatever fun you can out of its smug cold omnipresence. For some people this is easy, and the Coulee Region is a great place to get your winter recreation on. In fact, the city boasts quite the impressive Winter Rec-Fest, and I have heard the short drive to Westby is totally worth seeing people hurtle themselves through the air tied to toothpicks. Winter also sees couples beating back the cabin fever to celebrate Valentine’s Day and the coming spring. Nothing says quintessential winter date like an ice rink. Nervously picking up your date, leaving the car running to fight the cold, the two of you racing each other to get the skates on only to fall and stumble upon actual contact with the ice. The slips and stumbles give you the chance to fall onto each other without the awkwardness one experiences on solid ground. People fall in love before their faces freeze and walk off into a happy future together over hot cocoa by the firelight. I applaud the La Crosse Parks and Rec Department for keeping up Green Island Ice Arena, but it doesn’t provide quite the atmosphere I envision with the experience of ice skating in La Crosse. It serves an excellent purpose as a high-quality indoor skating facility, but I think La Crosse could benefit from one that is a bit more roughshod. What I am advocating is the flooding of a plain in Pettibone or a comparable park. I suggest Pettibone because of the opportunity to have Rotary Lights in the background for part of the season. A public utility like a rink interwoven into a public park could provide unique

LOCALLY LOCALLY OWNED, OWNED, LOCALLY LOCALLY ROASTED ROASTED FRESH FRESH COFFEE COFFEE

opportunities (such as food vending), potential revenue and another safe, fun, healthy, family-friendly alternative to spending your winter in the bar. Imagine the memories formed at a nice outdoor skating rink. Tall lamps blend in with trees, illuminating the rink from the edges before converging together again over the ice. Skaters cast their shadows over each other as they weave in and out, enjoying the company of each other and the gliding solitude one finds in skating. Groups of friends share laughs as they meander around the circle, aimless and happy. Lovers young and old buy steaming cups and huddle over them, telling secrets and sharing memories. I can’t say I know exactly how easy it would be to make this little dream a reality, but I can’t hold my tongue on it either. I think the potential for traffic to such a place is reasonable, which in turn would lead to more people visiting the businesses in that region, as well as downtown. I think it would offer a taste of urbanity in a very La Crosse way. Being a great city does not mean resting on what a city does well; it is about advancing the culture to become and stay relevant. A city is more than the sum of its collected parts, and it breathes with a synergy that, if things are succeeding together, becomes something you feel in the air - and in winter, see in your breath.

Every tuesday

OPENTIME ON STORY 9:30-10:00 AM SUNDAYS Always 1 coffee when FROM you bring your 8-3 own mug $

.50

$ .50 ALWAYS 1 COFFEE WHEN Homemade food served YOUBreakfast BRING YOUR andOWN LunchMUG

1 1lb

$ off

- By Blake Auler-Murphy

of coffee beans

*limit of one per customer per visit

30 Days for Set$30 your roots and GROW with us! Root Down Yoga is La Crosse’s first hot yoga studio offering Power Vinyasa yoga a style of yoga that is accessible to everyone regardless of age, ability or experience. “Vinyasa” means to link movement with breath. We place a lot of emphasis on helping you remember to inhale and exhale as you move from pose to pose. You’ll also have the opportunity for silence and space in what has become an overly busy world. We’ll help you focus on the here and now. We know and trust that this practice works. It creates vitality and reminds us that anything is possible. By discovering what is possible on our yoga mats, we shine light on new possibilities everywhere in our lives. We offer a variety of yoga classes, heated and non-heated, that will help you develop or deepen your practice.

Power Vinyasa • Foundations • Absolute Beginner’s Class Yin Yoga • Guided Meditation • Prenatal • Yoga Nidra New students welcome! Your first class is FREE! 1217 Caledonia St., Suite A, La Crosse, WI 54603 Phone 608-519-2467 • www.rootdownyogastudio.com KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

P l ca eop

february 12

2015

6-9pm

l Pla c e s

a Loc

PEEPS PLACES

at Live Music! Come on down for a night at 4 Sisters Wine Bar and Tapas Restaurant with us! Bring your coupon for a free glass of wine and hang with the Klutch crew!

Each month we will be bringing Klutch Live to a new venue around the Coulee Region- you don’t want to miss this event!

Get a glass we’re buyin , g!!

FREE

Glass of

Wine

On February 12th, 2015 during the Klutch Live event at 4 Sisters Wine Bar and Tapas Restaurant. Valid February 12, 2015 at 4 Sisters Wine Bar and Tapas Restaurant from 6-9pm only. Free wine selection provided by 4 Sisters Wine Bar and Tapas Restaurant. Limit one per customer. Coupon may not be copied or reproduced in any way without permission from Klutch Chronicle.

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

Good Food, Good Wine, Good Company. “...The ambiance and staff are incredible. Everyone is warm and welcoming...” ~Karyn R “...delightful atmosphere, amazing wine and food, paired with top notch service...” ~Mary S. “...My go-to place for happy hour, drinks or dinner with friends and family...” ~Brittany L.

100 Harborview Plaza La Crosse, WI 54601

(608) 782-8213

www.4sisterslacrosse.com

ople

Local Pe

aces

Local Pl

Live

vi e r

ew JANUARY KLUTCH LIVE EVENT TANGLED HICKORY WINE BAR

e would like to give a great big thank you to all those who came out to enjoy our first Viroqua Klutch Live! We had those who came who were close to home in Viroqua, a couple from Coon Valley, and those who also made the trek from La Crosse to the beautiful Tangled Hickory Wine Bar & Bistro. After recently finishing up some great renovations, Tangled Hickory was the place to be with free wine tastings, live music, sushi and other delicious

food options (much of it organic!), and of course, as always, some great Klutch company! We are happy to see such a diverse group of people enjoying our Live events each month and seeing some familiar faces that have come to multiple events. While Tangled Hickory was our first event in Viroqua, it will not be our last, you can be sure of that! Dine at Tangled Hickory Wine Bar & Bistro at 120 S Main St. in Viroqua, Wis.

KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

2 truths anda lie

By: Katie Svitavsky

Valentine’s Day Edition

In 2012, the average consumer spent $131 on Valentine’s Day.

The condom industry sees highest sales over Valentine’s Day (and ironically, athome pregnancy test sales also see a spike, occurring in March).

Valentine’s Day is the day of the year with the highest average number of proposals.

to p f i v e

By: Katie Svitavsky

Reasons being single on Valentine’s Day is the best.

Less expensive:

This is probably the most obvious item to make the list. You’re saving money by not feeling obligated to purchase gifts to prove how much you love your significant other. Seriously, who wants to pay $7 for a Hallmark Card that lights up and plays “All You Need Is Love” every time you open it? Add in flowers or a dinner, and you’re in for a spendy evening.

The Lie: Though Valentine’s Day is one of the more romantic days of the year, according to a study surveying 7,000 people in the UK, Christmas Eve is a more popular day for marriage proposals.

No pressure:

You don’t have expectations (to not meet, amirite?), and you don’t have to spend time thinking about perfecting a date or gift, or making reservations.

3 4 5

Clearance chocolate: Need I say more?

Being single is better than being in a bad relationship:

Not trying to hate on the couples celebrating this season, but at least we single people don’t have the burden of being in a relationship stuck in “Nowhere.”

You can treat yo’self:

You might as well spend some of the money you saved on yourself - whether it’s a new gadget, haircut, or a renewal of your Netflix subscription.

Name Brand Items at a Great Price!

Open to the public.

4735 Mormon Coulee Road, La Crosse, WI, 54601

(608) 788-7827

Saturday, Feb. 21 10 a.m. - 3 p.m.

O PT U E SAV

% 0 7

Sunday, Feb. 22 11 a.m. - 3 p.m.

LL A M OFFRICES P

Hours:

Monday-Saturday: 10am-9pm Sunday: 11am-6pm

(608) 782-6822 3313 Hwy 16, La Crosse, WI

Near Famous Dave’s and Pier 1

Text “SAVEMORE” to 80258 and save 20% on your next visit!

Valid from Feb. 1st - 15th 2015 at La Crosse location through the month of February

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

UW-La Crosse Campus 337 Cartwright Center

(At the corner of Campbell Road and State St.)

Visit us on Facebook to see some of the dresses on sale.

2103 Centennial Hall 608.785.8852

www.uwlax.edu/it-makes-cents

TUESDAY SPECIAL:

BUCK NIGHT

$1.25 BURGERS THURSDAY SPECIAL: MOONLIGHT $1.00 FRIES, BOWLING DOMESTIC BEER, AT 7PM BOWLING AND $0.35 WINGS REN SHOE RENTAL 3 GAMES FOR $5 $2.OO BEER

headlines

CREATING AN EDIBLE LANDSCAPE

Community food forest project.

oop The Sc THE COULEE REGION

FROM

It’s Snow Fun

Article: Becca Dargatz

HOME TOWN

udson Steinback, Rigo Ascencio, Jarad Barkeim, and Jeremy Burt are the owners of Coulee Region Ecoscapes, LLC. Steinback founded the business in 2012, which provides sustainable and earth-friendly landscaping services. The mission of the company is to use locally sourced, non-toxic materials to foster positive relationships with community partners, limit our carbon footprint, and participate in educational, charity and outreach opportunities. To further this mission, Steinback partnered with Ascencio, Barkeim, and Burt, each of whom brings their background and level of expertise to the company. Steinback was first approached by Jacob Sciammas of the GrandviewEmerson Neighborhood Association and asked if the company would be interested in helping with the community food forest project. From there, it was all about making connections. The Coulee Region Ecoscapes team, along with the combined support of Jill Miller from the La Crosse Area Family YMCA, the Coulee Food System Coalition, the Hillview Urban Agriculture Center, and Zack Gaugush, who currently operates a small food forest, will be presenting a workshop for the community on Saturday, Feb. 7, to discuss the creation of a community food forest. The idea of a community food forest, sometimes referred to as an edible forest garden, is not new, and people across the globe have been implementing the idea for years. Imagine a lush forest filled with fruit, nuts, and berries dripping off the branches so that one could pick an apple on a walk to work, or young children running around could grab a handful of ripe raspberries. Barkeim, who studies and teaches permaculture, says a food forest is a garden that aims to mimic a woodland ecosystem.

Apple trees will flourish in the new city forest

Edible serviceberry - to be planted in the food forest “We are looking at the form and function of a woodland ecosystem and trying to mimic that, but putting it into an urban context to make it look nice,” he says. “If you look at the woodland ecosystem, there are several layers of vegetation and it is all layered vertically, so we are trying to create the same concept of layering.” Steinback says you have an initial season where you have to put items into the garden system in the spring, but food forests then try to capture the wisdom of a forest. This means each plant performs multiple roles within

constraints.” The goal for this spring is to create the infrastructure and foundation for the community food forest. Steinback and Barkeim have many ideas for the food forest (including outdoor wood-burning ovens for baking pizzas?!), but they all greatly reduce the use of fossil fuels and improve the soil fertility and ecosystem. “It is not just a win for the birds and the bees,” says Steinback. “It is also a win for the production of food.” All of the individuals involved with the community food forest are

“We are looking at the form and function of a woodland ecosystem and trying to mimic that, but putting it into an urban context to make it look nice.” Jarad Barkeim the system, promoting growth of other plants, inhibiting weeds, creating shelter, providing mulch, functioning as pest control, performing crosspollination, attracting beneficial insects, and providing food for community use. Species are selected to create a stable, functioning environment that fulfills the needs of the gardeners by producing fruits, berries, vegetables, herbs, seeds and other useful plant material. There are many benefits to creating a food forest. It serves as an education resource, an outdoor community center, and a self-reliant food bank, just to name a few. It becomes an area that has an edible landscape with walkways that are natural in look, but designed to meet our needs for sustenance and play. “The vision for this space [is] to ultimately cover the entire sodded area that is adjacent to West Avenue, that would be the east face of the North YMCA in Onalaska,” says Steinback. “The reality is that this installation will be staged in over a period of years due to financial and infrastructural

hoping to help evolve the way the community thinks about landscaping and gardening, and to demonstrate the importance of creating spaces that are sustainable. According to Barkeim, it is projects like this community food forest that help create a cultural shift in the way we think about plants and selfreliance. “People will be able to weave inspiration from the community food forest into their own properties, without actually installing a full-scale food forest,” says Steinback. Anyone interested in learning more about the edible landscape coming to the community, or anyone who wants to be involved with the design process, can attend the community food forest workshop on Saturday, Feb. 7, at the La Crosse Y located at 1400 Main Street from 9 a.m. to 12 p.m. To learn more about earth-friendly landscaping services visit www.couleeregionecoscapes.com.

KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

Shockingly, we have had some pretty nice days these past couple of weeks, blocking out the days of negative degrees, but don’t let that fool you into thinking the snow is going away any time soon. It is only February. Unfortunately. So take advantage of this snowy opportunity and try to find the fun in the snow rather than dwelling on the fact that the bitter cold makes your teeth chatter, which eventually causes a headache, and this leads to regret about going outside at all. Whoa, sorry, getting away from the point. It’s Snow Fun will be going on at Hixon Forest on Feb. 7, and you don’t want to miss out on the fun that will be had. Join the Anytime Fitness-La Crosse crew for a day filled with fun and competition. Starting at 10 a.m., a competitive heat will start the day of snow fun, while the more “fun at heart” can partake in snowshoeing, crosscountry skiing or hiking. Moreover, there will be hot drinks too! Anytime Fitness-La Crosse teamed up with the Outdoor Recreation Alliance (ORA) and La Crosse Parks and Recreation for this event, not only to get everyone outdoors and active this winter, but to raise funds for the Outdoor Recreation Alliance as well. Funds will be raised through participants’ registrations and equipment rental, and 100 percent of the proceeds will go to the ORA. (Rentals can be reserved in advance for $8.) So if you are looking for something exciting to do this winter and want to do your part for our local outdoor recreation, look no further! It’s going to be snow much fun!

IF YOU GO: When: Saturday, Feb. 7 at 10 a.m. Where: Hixon Forest in La Crosse Cost: Pre-registration is $15 (at Anytime Fitness) Same-day registration is $20 More information can be found on the “It’s Snow Fun” Facebook page.

s e l c y C l i a r T r e at Riv

’s t a h W k c e D on

Come Meet Generous Earth Pottery staff and say Cheese for Klutch cameras!

February 5th 5-7:30 pm

Meet & Cheese Pottery Lesson Preview Night! Call to pre-register right away! Class size limited. Just mention Klutch Meet & Cheese. Try the pottery wheel for free or take home your finished piece for only $10! 5-5:30 or 5:30-6 Then stick around to see what the class series is all about! G! PRIZE DRAWIN REFRE One lucky person will receive a “Two Person Wheel S Deal” pottery lesson including finished pottery FOR AHMENTS LL! pieces! ($100 Value!)

(608) 782-3904

Generous Earth Pottery 221 Pearl Street La Crosse, WI www.generousearthpottery.com

Interested in hosting a Meet and Cheese event? Visit our website www.klutchchronicle.com or call 608-796-8780 for more details.

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

More than a bike store.

Article: Becca Dargatz

RIVER TRAIL CYCLES

icycles have surrounded Emily Vance, owner of River Trail Cycles in Onalaska, nearly her entire life. Vance grew up hanging out at a bike shop, and her interest in the bicycle industry only grew with time. “Once I was the legal age to get a job, I was offered a position at the bike shop and started by doing the grunt work like crushing cardboard and cleaning toilets,” says Vance. “I just started on working my way up to the top and tried to learn as much as I could because it was something I really enjoyed doing.” River Trail Cycles is more than a bike store; it caters to the triathlete market by offering accessories and clothing for running, as well as swimwear, including goggles, swim caps, swimsuits, and even wetsuit rentals. While Vance has done a great job of expanding the products offered at the store, the sheer number and variations of bikes cannot be ignored. There are numerous bikes and bike accessories available to purchase or rent, including hybrid bikes, trails, trail-a-bikes and cruiser tandems. Vance worked at a bike shop in high school and college, but after graduation she was ready to take on a different aspect of the bicycle industry. She took on an outside-sales position selling to independent bicycle dealers, and she covered territories in Minnesota and the western half of Wisconsin. Having this experience gave Vance a new perspective on importing goods and working with distributors.

“It gave me the opportunity to see over 100 different bike shops that ranged from season ma and pop shops to multimillion dollar stores in the big cities,” says Vance. “It really was an awesome way to gather information to complete the circle from the retail end of things to the wholesale end of things and decide that ‘I can do this.’” In 2007, Vance proved to herself and the community that she could indeed operate and maintain her own store. River Trail Cycles began in Holmen Square Mall, but after it outgrew its space (which, according to Vance, is a wonderful problem to have), the store moved to its current location (and much larger building) at 106 Mason St. in Onalaska. The new location has been around for just about a year, and the new spot on the corner of Hwy. 35 and Mason Street has increased the visibility of the store, which means Vance has seen a lot of new customers. While the location has proven successful, it is also the store’s excellent customer service and staff that sets it apart from other bike shops in the area. “We have a lot of great bike shops in the area, but we try to do the extra bit of research, whether it is on a mechanical or technical aspect, or it is finding the consumer exactly what they want: Is it the right brand, the right size, the right color or the right flavor? Our staff does a really exceptional job with that,” says Vance. Vance has committed to creating a comfortable space so people shopping at River Trail Cycles can ask questions or really understand how something works before leaving the store. (I can attest to this. She helped me navigate the waters of road bikes after I regrettably purchased something cute from Target instead of something practical for my purposes.) The staff at River Trail Cycles will take people through the steps or process of something one-on-one and they also offer support with the products they carry. “It is important to talk with your customers, not down to them, because you want them to understand what you are saying by not going above their head, but you do not want to insult them either,” says Vance. In addition to providing answers and support, Vance and her team also try to keep up with

what consumers are interested in. This year, it is snowshoeing. “Redfeather Snowshoes has been phenomenal to work with as our primary snowshoe company,” says Vance. “We have seen snowshoeing grow every year, and they offer snowshoes for all ages so you can really make it a family event, and we love that they are made from start to finish in La Crosse.” Snowshoeing is an affordable activity that does not require any additional gear (other than the snowshoes) or knowledge, with no maintenance needed. There are no lift ticket fees or passes, and it is an easy way to explore the beautiful area we live in during the colder months. Moving forward, and once the weather warms up, Vance hopes to create some ongoing group cycling events. You can expect some ladies nights, some more rigorous morning rides, a casual night, and some basic trail rides. Whether you are in the market for a new bike, some new goggles for swimming, or you just have questions about getting started, the staff at River Trail Cycles is more than happy to assist you with all of your outdoor activities.

KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

106 Mason Street Onalaska, WI 54650

608-519-5757 www.rivertrailcycles.com

HALL

THE WORD

CITY

headlines FROM

HOME TOWN

LOOKING FORWARD IN 2015: WHAT’S ON CITY HALL’S MIND? IMPROVEMENTS TO THE CITY OF LA CROSSE

In 2015, more than $1.8 million will be invested in the most challenged neighborhoods including Washburn, Powell-Poage-Hamilton, and the Lower Northside and Depot Neighbors for special projects, paint and fix-up, floodplain improvements, housing, and tree planting. A new rental housing improvement program will also be introduced, which should work similarly to the city’s housing rehabilitation loan program. There is also hope that the former Bakalars Sausage building and Roosevelt School will be revamped into housing units. The biggest improvement, however, will likely be to the transportation network. The MTU circulator will be a new addition to bus services in the central part of the city that will provide 10-minute services during the day without raising fares. The city also hopes to approve a visioning process that will engage citizens in planning the course of the city’s transportation well into the future. We will also see a renewed airport terminal and emergency radio system. IMPROVEMENTS WITHIN CITY HALL

Departments are scheduled to be reorganized and committees will be further improved to better share resources and technology, and ultimately save money. Plus, a new human rights commission will be created to reach out to the community, raise awareness about community challenges, and work to eliminate discrimination within the city. Possibly the biggest challenge will be the start of the state’s budget process. The city must resolve to deal with potential reductions to personal property taxes and shared revenue, as these combined comprise more than 20 percent of the $71 million budget. The city website will also be revamped, including more online services, and ongoing beautification of the City Hall building will be made.

inside scoop

DRUM! DANCE! RISE! La Crosse Joins the V-Day Revolution. Drum! Dance! Rise! That’s the theme for this year’s One Billion Rising movement. La Crosse marks its third year participating in the V-Day campaign, a global movement to end violence against women and girls. V-Day was established in 1998 by Eve Ensler, activist and playwright, after an astonishing amount of women came forward to share their stories of abuse after seeing her play, “The Vagina Monologues.” Since that time, in the months of February, March and April, people across the globe have hosted V-Day events to raise awareness and funds toward ending violence against women and girls. Participating organizations and activists have grown so large that in 2012 Ensler launched her biggest global campaign yet, called One Billion Rising, and it happens annually on Feb. 14. The campaign began as a response to the startling statistic that 1 in 3 women on the planet will be raped or beaten during her lifetime. Locally, Jen Scaccio, youth and family advocate at New Horizons Shelter and Outreach Centers, shared that in La Crosse County and its surrounding area, “We gave shelter to 271 women, men, and children in 2014 and answered 2,883 crisis calls on our hotline. While those numbers have lowered since 2013, it’s not enough. We won’t stop working until the violence stops.” Through trauma, abuse, violence and rape, too many women have felt shamed by their bodies. The ongoing theme of every One Billion Rising event is dance, which allows women to own their bodies again, to claim them as individuals, as

groups, and as a global human movement. Rising together, more than 200 countries participate by speaking up, peacefully demonstrating, and dancing for change. Events take place at courthouses, police stations, government offices, schools, places of worship, and even outside community members’ homes — all places women should feel safe, but too often do not. La Crosse’s V-Day events have been coordinated largely by the Hmoob Cultural and Community Agency and New Horizons

Shelter and Outreach Centers. In previous years, demonstrations outside City Hall, education tables, and teen workshops have been key parts of the programming. Those who attended last year were deeply moved by the film showing of area women sharing their abuse stories and naming their perpetrators. This year, La Crosse celebrates its third year participating in One Billion Rising and has partnered with Valley View Mall to take over its interior lobby on Feb. 14. The movement is open to anyone who wishes to attend and promises to be family friendly with face painting for children. Many local, nonprofit leaders will be tabling throughout the day to provide education and free resources that address the themes of the movement this year, which include Rise for the Wage, Men Rising, and Youth Rising. “V-Day is more than just a foundation,” said Sherri Larsen, diversity advocate at New

Horizons. “This is a local issue and we’re bringing voice to the stories of violence against women and girls in our community. We’re gathering a whole network of local resources in one space for the public to visit, learn about the movement, and hopefully join us in taking action to end the violence. It’s up to all of us.” Along with resource tables at the mall, La Crosse’s V-Day will host a flash mob dance in the afternoon as part of One Billion Rising. Anyone is welcome to join in and learn the dance online or at upcoming open practices, both of which you can find on the Facebook page, La Crosse Rises 2015 (https:// w w w. f a c e b o o k . c o m / LaCrosseRises2015). Those interested in donating to the local V-Day movement can do so by purchasing a “One Billion Rising: Revolution” T-shirt for $12. All funds go toward continuing the work of domestic violence awareness and education in our community. Shirts will be available for pre-sale on the La Crosse Rises 2015 Facebook page and at supporting nonprofit events such as Feminism on Tap on Feb. 4 at JavaVino. So join the revolution. Be a part of a global movement. Drum! Dance! And Rise on V-Day, Feb. 14 at Valley View Mall, until the violence stops.

- By Jess Witkins

IF YOU GO: When: Saturday, Feb. 14 Where: Valley View Mall GET INVOLVED: www.facebook.com/LaCrosseRises2015

#WTF!? Ghost for Sale

CANNED FOOD: THE NEW WEAPON

The things you find on Craigslist: cars, furniture, jobs and ghosts. You heard that right, ghosts. The ghost is apparently a shirtless man in black pants that resides in … wait for it … where else, but the south side of La Crosse. The ad reads, “I have a male Ghost for sale. He came into my house when I purchased an old wooden chest. He is attached to the Chest. You get the chest and the Ghost for $300.” Attached are pictures of a really old chest and then more blurry pics apparently suggesting a ghost. A guy named Dan saw this Craigslist ad and had a few questions, including: “Scary or nice?” “How big is the ghost? My apartment isn’t huge, not trying to get suffocated every day by this ghost, he has to respect my space.” “Is the ghost a Packers fan? Sort of a deal breaker.” The seller then ups the price to $1000 and says he cannot sell to someone who is not serious. The hilarious conversation ensues until suddenly a mysterious “paranormal person” snagged the chest. Oh well, we all know the best ghosts are on eBay anyway.

In Alabama, an elementary school principal is asking students to bring canned goods to school to stockpile in classrooms in case of an intruder. The idea is to have kids throw cans as a last resort to stun the intruder. The principal understands this sounds odd, but believes it could throw an intruder off guard. Yes, the idea of 20 first-graders hurling creamed corn at you would throw anyone off guard. Are they having throwing practice, because how is a first-grader’s aim? Do their little arms have the strength to throw far enough and hard enough to make a difference? Maybe they should add a weightlifting station on the playground. In all seriousness, this idea at least allows children to feel they can have some control in this type of situation versus feeling helpless and afraid … nearby people may want to just take extra care when passing the first-grade classroom. Caution: Watch for flying baked beans.

Need more Klutch? ...we’ve got more! www.klutchchronicle.com 12

www.barstoolsports.com/chicago/super-page/i-tried-to-buy-a-ghost-on-craigslist/

www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/13/middle-school-canned-foodintruder_n_6465052.html?utm_hp_ref=weird-news

- By Cody Fortney

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

RAILROADS, OIL, AND DEMOCRACY IN LA CROSSE

The inevitability of rail expansion.

Let’s hear you!

headlines Article: Matt Stannard

HOME TOWN

ichmond, Calif., a city of 107,000 near San Francisco, is home to a large Chevron oil refinery. But instead of being a company town, Richmond’s progressive city council calls the shots and keeps Chevron under control. The city sued Chevron after a fire at the refinery (caused by Chevron’s failure to keep up its equipment) sent a fireball skyward and fumes through the city, threatening thousands of residents. In 2014, Chevron tried unsuccessfully to defeat the council members that had kept the company on such a tight leash, but the company lost, despite spending millions of dollars. Last year, when the company sought Richmond’s blessing for modernization of the refinery, the city squeezed $90 million in community benefits from Chevron, along with an unprecedented provision forbidding the refinery from increasing emissions. “Do we realize,” asked the great environmentalist Aldo Leopold, who adopted Wisconsin as his home state, “that industry, which has been our good servant, might make a poor master?” With the decision by the La Crosse City Council to approve of Burlington Northern Santa Fe Railway’s proposal to expand the tracks for its oil-hauling trains through the city — and the La Crosse River Wetlands — without waiting for an Environmental Impact Statement, the people of La Crosse might have learned the hard way that taming industry requires more political will than has been exhibited by La Crosse’s elected officials. Residents here might well ask why La Crosse can’t be more like Richmond. In late October, the La Crosse City Council approved a deal facilitating the expansion in return for relocation of utilities, upgrading of rail crossings, and fixing up the Forest Hills Golf Course. BNSF also promised to train 50 local firefighters to respond to spillage or explosion disasters it says won’t happen, as well as provide foam and containment trailers for contingencies they insist are unlikely. Council member Bob Seaquist was particularly enthusiastic about the agreement, declaring there wasn’t a community anywhere in the country that was getting such a good deal. Hundreds of residents, led by Citizens Acting for Rail Safety, or CARS, disagree. They point to the inevitable loss of 7 acres of wetlands on the marsh and threats to birds and turtles there, the noise and disruption of increased rail traffic, and the significant risk of explosions and spillage posed by the tank cars that will be moving in greater numbers through the area. They don’t trust BNSF, a company that was fined $10 million back in 2000 for falsifying evidence in a trial over

an engineer’s death. They are asking the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources to require an Environmental Impact Statement based on a law requiring such a process when projects may have deleterious effects on sensitive environmental resources. But the WDNR has expressed reluctance to require an EIS, insisting that its own internal reviews sufficiently answer environmental and safety concerns. Nearly 50 residents (of more than 150 in attendance) voiced their concerns at a Jan. 7 hearing at the Black River Beach Neighborhood Center. If the WDNR and BNSF had hoped for a balanced perspective, they wouldn’t be satisfied. Demand for the WDNR to require an EIS was virtually unanimous. Of the several dozen people who spoke, only one person spoke favorably of the expansion, and did so only halfheartedly: Rick Hauser, a railroad worker, argued that the expansion would make rail transport safer. But he immediately conceded that the oil tank cars were volatile. Americans are taught from an early age that consensus matters, and that if enough people want something to happen, and the happening won’t unduly hurt anyone, then it will likely happen. In this instance, the facts almost seem stranger than fiction, an openand-shut case for both citizen resistance and administrative review: Railroad company with poor history wants to haul more oil through an environmentally sensitive wetland. In fact, BNSF got what it wanted (and seems likely to get it without having to submit to an EIS) because the established powers of La Crosse — and, to an extent, their constituents — accepted a series of inevitabilities: the inevitability of rail expansion, the inevitability of oil dominance, and the inevitability of the WDNR’s seeming determination to fast-track the whole process. It is that sense of “it’s gonna happen, and there’s nothing we can do” that CARS and individual citizens are trying so hard to resist. Central to the city’s justification for approving the deal was the argument that the federal government, through the Commerce Act, gives BNSF the right to do pretty much whatever it wants. “If we had rejected the proposal,” council member Sara Sullivan told me, “there was no guarantee the company would have continued to work with us.” But CARS members told me that wasn’t the whole picture — that the city could have held out for a better deal with the permitting process still pending. Sure, concedes Alan Stankevitz, CARS steering committee member, “the city was trying to get the best deal they could get.” But “we were just hoping they would have waited for the permit to be approved through the DNR and the Army Corps of Engineers,” he said, pointing out that even the ownership of certain parts of the land by the golf course has yet to be determined. In making the hasty deal, he said, “the city signed away any rights to challenge or question BNSF ownership.” The agreement, Stankevitz says, “allows BNSF to buy their way out of the remediation requirement” by providing that the company merely pay $600,000 to the WDNR instead of restoring the 7 acres of wetlands it will destroy.

As to Bob Seaquist’s remark that the city scored the best deal in the nation in its negotiation with BNSF, Stankevitz laughed. “That’s definitely Bob all the way,” he said. “The question is, the ‘best deal’ for whom? Maybe if you’re a golfer. But talk to anyone close to the rail line.” Jacob Sciammas of the Grandview-Emerson Neighborhood Association agrees with that perspective. In a letter to the WDNR, he wrote: “Today, tenants and homeowners are expressing interest in moving, and some have already moved, out of the neighborhood as a result of this railroad development.” According to Stankevitz, CARS’ concerns run deeper than a particular 7 acres of wetland or a specific safety risk. “This is not your mother’s railroad,” he told me, pointing to the ever-increasing and intensified shipments of oil flowing through river towns up and down Minnesota and Wisconsin. He said La Crosse and similar communities “are turning into industrial corridors. It’s killing the river towns.” In fact, one core concern is with the democratic process itself. Beyond the WDNR’s reluctance to require an objective assessment of BNSF expansion’s environmental impact, the WDNR’s behavior throughout the deliberative process has raised troubling questions. A sense of inevitability, of futility of protest, has contextualized many of the remarks and gestures of the agency, whose spokespeople insist they already have the information they need to make the permitting decision. But it’s not clear that the WDNR has made all that information available to the public. During the Jan. 7 hearing, the representative from BNSF testified that the WDNR had done an “Endangered Resource Review,” finding that the Black Tern was a species of bird indigenous to the marsh, but not found near the railroad tracks. According to Stankevitz, CARS members could not locate that review in the materials the WDNR had shared with the public. When pressed, the WDNR revealed that the document existed and was marked “confidential.” “It was unfortunate,” CARS wrote in its Jan. 17 letter to the WDNR “that the general public was not privy to this document prior to the Jan. 7 hearing. We did not know the document existed.” The document revealed that the WDNR knew the bird was about to be added to Wisconsin’s Endangered Species List, and may be found “in or adjacent to the project area.” The subordination of process to product, of deliberation to outcome, might be inevitable when so many public officials accept a status quo consisting of the ever-increasing rapid transport of fossil fuels to distant recipients at all costs. “You can’t solve the marsh, the rail, the pipeline, the offshore drilling, any of it until we stop using oil everywhere for everything,” Sciammas told me in an email. “Expecting leaders, cities, states and the feds to fix this problem hasn’t gotten us far enough. In the meantime we are wasting our time on preventing things that might make matters worse rather than improving the condition.” CARS is not giving up. The organization hopes the WDNR will change its mind and require an EIS. If not, an appeal is possible. “This is not something we’re giving up on,” Stankevitz told me. “The answer is getting more and

KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

more people involved.” Even the La Crosse City Council, who hand-wringingly approved the deal, is showing signs of buyer’s remorse. “We’re angry with the railroad,” Sullivan told me. “But we need to be angry with ourselves.” Inundated with public demand, the WDNR is currently deciding whether to require that elusive Environmental Impact Statement for BNSF’s expansion. If it does so, it will be a departure from the WDNR’s rhetoric thus far. CARS is still organizing and educating. Interested residents can visit CARS’ website at http://saferails.org/ to read reports and assessments, make much-needed donations to the organization, or join it outright. UPDATE: On Tuesday, Jan. 20, US Rep. Ron Kind and US Sen. Tammy Baldwin put in a formal request to the US Army Corps of Engineers for an Environmental Impact Statement before granting BNSF the Section 404 permit (of the Clean Water Act) it has applied for through the Corps. Status Pending

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What’s Your Password? Remember when we were kids trying to fill an otherwise boring midwinter afternoon with something to do? There were no Netflix movies to stream, there were merely 75 channels on cable, and we had already reached level 13 of our favorite video game. For something to do, we would rely on our siblings for possible entertainment. I recall knocking on my older sister’s bedroom door several times asking if I could play. Almost without exception, my sister would demand, “What’s the Password?!” Being maybe 6 years old and lacking the proper algorithms, hacking tools and high-speed computing processors, I would usually answer, “I dunno,” which, surprisingly, was never the password. Little did I know, my sister simply didn’t want to entertain her bored little brother. We all love to hate passwords: those incredibly inconvenient, ultra-secret, multi-digit codes containing a mix of letters, numbers and special characters that are a necessary function before we can get where we want to go on the Internet, at work, on a video site or on a smartphone. What’s more, there is no standard password configuration across the myriad platforms, thus forcing us to maintain or remember dozens of passwords for our various Internet sites and devices (and you’re not allowed to write them down!). Adding to the angst, many of them need to be changed every so often … and there’s nothing more irritating than getting locked out of an account because you failed the three-attempts rule! But love them or hate them, and thanks to technology, passwords are a part of our everyday life. You already know you shouldn’t have an easily guessed password, right? (Of course you do! It’s the people who don’t read Klutch Chronicle that I worry about!) SplashData, a company that specializes in computer security and password management, publishes an annual list of the most common passwords on the Internet. The data comes from lists of hacked passwords that have made their way to the darker corners of the Internet where they are published or sold to the bad guys. Over the years, the top five most common passwords have stayed pretty much the same, with one or two sliding up and down in the rankings. Not surprisingly, “password” remains one of the most popular passwords. And of course, the incredibly difficult to guess “123456” is always in one of the top spots, along with the marvelously more complex “12345678.” And, to completely throw off would-be hackers, let’s not forget the totally alphabetical “qwerty” that is guaranteed 100 percent secure … if a hacker has never before used a keyboard! But for all of our reliance on passwords, they are quickly becoming nothing more than a security blanket, something to give you a warm and fuzzy feeling about the safety of your data. In reality, passwords

are s-o-o-o 1980s technology and really not that hard to crack in today’s new reality. For example: Armed with only a standard, off-the-shelf PC, a hacker can crack an 8-digit password using just letters (no caps) in less than a minute. Adding a capital letter and a number lengthens the hack to maybe 15 hours, still just a blink of an eye to determined cyber-criminals using automated tools. But, simply add one more letter or character to make a 9-digit password, and it can take up to 39 days to crack, often more effort than a hacker is willing to apply; after all, there are people out there with “password” as their password. Technologies are coming that will eventually make the password unnecessary. Biometric authentication is a technology that uses uniquely human characteristics as an identifier, such as fingerprints, retinal scans, voice prints, or any part of the human condition that can be isolated to the uniqueness of the individual. Your smartphone may already have some biometric technology built-in. Laptops have had fingerprint scanners for years. But it will be a long time before biometric technologies become as ubiquitous as the common password. However, even some biometrics can be duplicated or even “hacked” (like fingerprints or voice recognition), so researchers at Motorola are investigating different ways to use biometrics to authenticate users, including tattoos and even pills. Users could, for example, swipe special tattoos over machines capable of reading them. And if getting a tattoo seems a bit extreme just to access your Hotmail account, Motorola is also working on a password pill. Taken daily, the “password” is activated by your stomach acid and emits a frequency unique to only you that could then be used to authenticate devices that can read the frequency. Do I get fries with that? And what happens at the airport scanner? “Oh, sorry TSA officer with your handgun drawn, that’s just my daily password-in-a-pill going off!” If the technology had been available, would biometrics have worked on my sister? When my sister asked for the password, I could have confidently proclaimed, “C’mon Sis, this is the modern age. No one uses passwords anymore! Just swipe my tattoo!” I wonder if she would have let me play. - Brian Boettcher Brian is vice president of information technology at Altra Federal Credit Union and public speaker on technology topics.

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February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

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“Claim It.”

e have a large family so I’m a fan of occasional couponclipping and other creative ways to save. I got on board with Checkout 51 last fall to take advantage of this money-saving app. I simply signed in and was presented with a list of more than 30 products, from produce to air freshener to Tabasco sauce. (You can even enter a contest to possibly win $500 for each purchase that totals more

than $60!) Each item on the list displays a graphic of the product and a description when the graphic is clicked on. After previewing what I could save cents and dollars on, I purchased those items and then uploaded a picture of my receipt to the app. After uploading the receipt, I checked off each item I bought and hit “Claim It.” Pretty simple! The list changes each week, so there are a variety of products to choose from.

ABOUT

APP REVIEW: CHECKOUT 51

Article: Michelle L. Jerome

technology I think this app might be great for some folks, but I haven’t found many brands or products I use outside of the produce options. I’m also having a hard time getting up to the minimum to cash in … $20. I have a whopping $7.25 sitting in my virtual kitty. The idea is that once

I hit $20, I’ll get a fat check in the mail. I had greater hopes for this app, but in the meantime the Mister chuckles when he sees me uploading these dang receipts because he knows I’m just doing it to enter the $500 contest. I might make more money off the lottery at this point … If you have a better review of this app, we would love to hear it! Email us or send us a line on Facebook!

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CHILDREN’S MUSEUM EVENTS TUESDAYS: Sparkling STEMs Science at 10:30 am; THURSDAYS: Little Learners at 10:30 am; FRIDAYS: Wee Move @ 10:30 am; all free with admission ($6). READ TO ROVER February 3 @ Main library • (Ages 5+) Dogs and their caregivers from the Coulee Region Humane Society Pet Therapy group want to listen to new readers. The dogs love to be read to. Register for a 10-minute session by calling the Main Library at 608-789-7102.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DR. SEUSS! – MONDAY FUNDAY February 9, 5:45-6:15 pm @ Main Library • (Ages 3+) On March 2, Dr. Seuss is 111 years old! We will celebrate with our favorite tongue-twisting Dr. Seuss stories, zany crafts and activities, and birthday treats! Free. VALENTINE’S SWEETHEART DANCE February 13, 7-9 pm @ YMCA-La Crosse • Have fun at the Valentine’s Sweet Heart Dance! Dads, Granddads, Uncles, or anyone who is a positive role model for a girl will need to dust off their dancing shoes and get ready to create memories. This is a fun night full of dancing and light refreshments. For more information go to laxymca.org. Fees: $8 in advance or $10 the day of the event. NIGHT OUT AT THE MUSEUM February 13 and 27, 5:30- 8 pm @ Children’s Museum of La Crosse • $11 for members/$16 for non-members. Must pre-register. WINTER WALK RUN SERIES February 14, 8 am start time @ YMCA-North • Stay warm this winter with the Winter Walk Run Series. All ages. $18 for each event. FROZEN FUN February 14, 8:30-10 am @ Children’s Museum of La Crosse • Meet Our Elsa and enjoy more Frozen fun. $5/child members, $12/child non-members (adult required at no addl. charge). Payment required with registration. BRAIN FREEZE BONANZA February 20, 1-1:30 pm @ North Library, 2-2:30 pm @ South Library, 3:30-4 pm @ Main Library (All Ages) Free • Join us for an ice cream treat and fall-down funny stories to help us celebrate the end of our Ice Cream Club. How big did the ice cream cones grow from all the books La Crosse kids checked out in January and February? FAMILY FUN NIGHT February 7 and 21, 5-8 pm @ YMCA-La Crosse All ages welcome • The YMCA cherishes family time. That’s why we promote spending quality time together as a family. Join us for swimming, games, crafts, and activities. No need to pre-register. HEY SMART COOKIES! February 21, 10 am-Noon @ Main Library • Smart Cookie Celebration (Ages 4+). Free. Our friends from UW-L Kappa Delta PI are treating us to free crazy fun literacy activities, from crafts to games and more! All participants receive a free book. WHATEVER WEDNESDAYS February 25, 2:30-5 pm @ South Library • Awesome drop-in activities every Wednesday in February! (Ages 7+) First Wednesday of the month = Lego build; second Wednesday = Art Explosion; third Wednesday = Board games; fourth Wednesday = Surprise! Free. LITTLE MOVERS STORY TIME Every Wednesday in February, 10:30-11:15 am @ Main Library • Registration required! (10-23 months) Join us every Wednesday during the month of February for a special 4-week Little Movers story time. Call 608-789-7128 to register.

Article: Andrea Colleta

FOR FAMILY

i Andrea, we happen to have all three of our owners here today. Do you have a few minutes to do a quick interview over the phone?” I usually didn’t take important phone calls when I was home alone with the kids. They had a tendency to need things from me, at a very high volume, whenever I attempted a phone conversation. With friends and family this didn’t matter too much, but anything else … well, I had been burned before. Still, I didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity. I looked around. The house was silent. My oldest was in school and my two youngest had just settled in with a movie in the other room. “Actually, this is a perfect time,” I replied, happy as a deer who just found an abandoned salt lick on the interstate. The interview was more intense than I had expected, but I actually felt pretty good about it. I started to feel that budding sense of excitement I recalled from my working days. I was having fun! And then came the scream … “MOMMY!!!” Now, this scream wasn’t the sort of shrill cry that stems from injury or danger. This was the kind of bellow that signifies a glitch in the movie, a shoelace that won’t tie or a million other tiny inconveniences. My middle child tends to run hot. So, I did what any good mom would do. I locked the door. And then I hid in the closet. At this point, one of the owners had launched into a long explanation of pay structure and responsibilities, but I heard none of it. What I did hear was my 4-year-old slamming his body against my bedroom door and hollering at the top of his lungs. “MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMMMM MMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY!” Oh please, I mentally pleaded to whatever divine powers hold sway over preschooler tantrums, Oh please make him stop … and please, please, please don’t let these people hear him. I contemplated excusing myself from the call to handle whatever it was that was causing this explosion of overstated anguish, but the interview was winding down. The finish line was in sight … if I could … just … make … it … Did I mention that my bedroom has two doors? Well, fortunately, they were both locked, but that didn’t stop the sound. My tenacious son had begun to run back and forth between the two doors, screaming and pounding at each with an impressive intensity. He continued on with his rant as

he ran … back and forth, back and forth. I could escape the noise at one door by hiding in the closet, but the other door shared a wall with my tiny sanctuary. Whenever he attacked the latter, it forced me to flee the closet and hide behind the bed. When he switched back to destroying the first door, I was forced to retreat back to the closet again. Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth. Somewhere in the middle of this chaos, I was finally able to glean a few select words from my son’s tirade, which was being administered in a tone so shrill, it was difficult to make out: “MOMMY!!! Her diaper is off, and she’s holding POOP in her hands! Poooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooop!!!” Oh. No. “POOP MOMMY POOP!!! THERE’S POOP IN HER HAND!!!” “… It all depends on the hours that you would be assigned …” “POOOOOOOOP MOMMY!!! SHE HAS POOOOOOOOP!” “… Some work a four-day schedule, while others have …” “POOP! POOP! POOP! SHE has a POOP!” “… Then we can talk about quotas …” “I FOUND ANOTHER POOP! MOMMY! THERE’S ANOTHER

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

POOP ON THE FLOOR! POOP! MOMMY! POOP! MOMMY! POOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!!!” At some point the interview ended. I’m not sure when. Or what I said. Or what they said. I hung up the phone and opened the door. There was my daughter, extending her chubby little hand up to me, prettily showcasing her offering: The Poop. I cleaned up the mess. I yelled at my son for trying to help. Then was immediately overwhelmed by guilt, then anger, then more guilt, then a sensation of complete and utter defeat. This was my life. But then life carried on, as it always does. We picked my other son up from school and went to meet friends. Aside from spending three minutes sobbing at a stop sign, it was a pretty good afternoon. And somewhere along the way, the story ceased to be a symbol of why I will never accomplish anything rewarding in my life, and started to be … kind of funny. Actually, really funny. The kind of story that will make a great toast at my son’s wedding, attesting to his tenacity, his force and his determination. And life moves on. Oh, and I got the job anyway …

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INDEPENDENT LIVING RESOURCES

The Art of Recovery.

Article: Andrea Colleta

A&E visual arts

he creation of art has long been connected with healing and personal resilience. This would come as no surprise to local, abstract landscape artist, Pita Daniels. “Creating art has helped me to process my own mental, physical and spiritual challenges,” Daniels says. Scientific studies support this connection between art and health. A study of senior citizens showed that those involved in weekly art programs experienced better mental and physical health, lower medication usage and fewer doctor visits, compared to their non-participating peers. Drawing and painting have been found to be effective methods for helping pediatric cancer patients cope with pain. According to the 2009 “State of the Field Report: Arts in Healthcare,” creation of visual or other arts can improve quality of life, relieve depression, help fatigue, reduce acute stress symptoms, increase psychological strength, strengthen positive feelings, alleviate distress and clarify existential and spiritual issues. These findings are currently being applied right here in La Crosse as a way to further an already noteworthy mission. Independent Living Resources’ main goal is a simple one: to empower individuals with disabilities. They help find solutions to problems caused by disabilities, whether short or long term. These solutions range from assistive technology to skills training to personal care. One way ILR funds their work is through the Art of Recovery Gala and the Art of Recovery Calendar. This

between faith and doubt. “Art is a mirror. It’s a mirror of the artist who creates it, what they are experiencing and feeling, and it’s a mirror of the person viewing

beautiful compilation of artwork is truly a celebration of the unique and diverse individuals ILR exists to serve. This year’s calendar features 30 original pieces of art and poetry. They appear in a range of mediums, including pencil, acrylic paint and photography. Each piece is as unique as the artist who created it, and all were reflective of the recovery process. The art he makes for ILR is very personal for Pita Daniels, who has worked with the agency in his own recovery process. “They have provided me with a lot of opportunities. I really appreciate their commitment that 51 percent of their staff and board be individuals with disabilities. They believe that people who have been through similar experiences can offer the best support. I am so grateful for the positive impact that ILR has had in my life.” When speaking of a painting he created to commemorate ILR’s 20th anniversary, Daniels explained, “This piece evokes a feeling of hope, because that’s what ILR offers people.” Daniels’ painting depicts the journey from where one is, to where one could be — “a world of light, hope, potential and healing.” This is also applicable to ILR, as they look forward into a future brimming with potential. All proceeds raised through the Art of Recovery Gala and the sale of calendars go directly toward helping individuals living with disabilities. It’s an investment worth making, as need is great. ILR served 1,755 people in the last year alone. The Art of Recovery Gala and calendar raise money for those in need, but the creation of featured art is a healing tool in and of itself . Each art piece was instrumental in the recovery process of the artist. ILR believes that “Art, in all its forms, is a tremendous tool in recovery. The Art of Recovery is a celebration of amazing original artwork and the hard work that is necessary for successful recovery.” Daniels explains that in his work, as in life itself, there is always a dance

the art as well. My work is inspired by the feelings I’ve had while in recovery. Intense and emotionally dark pieces come from those same feelings, anger and doubt, while beautiful pieces come from a place of serenity and being at peace with one’s self.”

For Daniels, “Art has given me a fuller ability to express myself, who I am. It helps balance my emotions and my thoughts. After a lifetime of extremes, both high and low, art offers me a safe place to express and explore both. It has brought me forward from a very dark place in my past, where I was contemplating suicide, to now, when I am committed to living as healthy and productive of a life as I can.” Both ILR and his artistic outlets have helped Daniels to overcome hurdles along the way. It was a journey worth making. The 2015 Art of Recovery Calendar can be purchased for $10 at Independent Living Resources, by calling 608by 787-1111 or emailing advocacy@ ilresources.org. The Art of Recovery Gala will be held on April 7 at the Pump House Regional Arts Center in La Crosse. Artwork will be displayed through April 10. Contact ILR for details on attendance or contribution. Sources: 2009 State of the Field Report: Arts in Healthcare ilresources.org

2015ARTOF RECOVERY SPONSORED BY HEALTH TRADITION HEALTH PLAN AND FRANKE FOUNDATION

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KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

A&E The Written Word

“Now What the Hell Do I Do?!”

of job searches pertaining to your major or interests, and while you read the requirements and skills needed for said job, you do not even know what they are talking about. So, you wait tables, you work as a telemarketer, or you find some sort of position in retail. Peterslie’s book brings a sense of humor to what can be a dire situation. Peterslie did her own illustrations for the book. She started with hand-drawn

of them could get a job. It sparked an idea. “I just found it ironic that so many people were in the same position I was. So, I developed my project: a 32-page cartoon-style book,” says Peterslie. “Each page represents a person in entertaining scenarios, and it features a ‘cut out and paste’ spot for a photograph of the graduate’s face to be placed in, and with each picture there is a page of inspiring text for the graduate.” On one page there is a treasure diver, and once the diver reaches the treasure chest, they are greeted with the words, “better luck next time,” and a shark looming in the background. The book is quirky, sarcastic, and so applicable it almost hurts. The images are a bit sarcastic and ironic, kind of like the attitude of a college graduate looking for a full-time job in his or her field. You go online, do a bunch

sketches, and then, in 2012, she began developing in Adobe Illustrator. Peterslie copyrighted the concept around the same time, and she has been working on tweaking each illustration since then. The project has been a work in progress for three years, and on March 1 her Kickstarter campaign, to raise the required $2,500 for publishing, goes live. Peterslie first ran across a Kickstarter campaign when she was in Austin. Kickstarter campaigns allow projects to be “live” for 30 days, and the projects have to raise the required funds within the allotted time frame to be successful. “It is one of the world’s largest crowdfunding platforms,” she says. “So, if people have a creative idea, whether it is a book, cd, film, or anything else, you basically share your story with the world, and then you have incentives for people to back your project and they receive rewards.”

The minimum donation for Peterslie’s campaign is $5. The $28 pledge will get you a copy of the hardcover book. Or, if this book resonates with someone so much that they feel compelled to donate the full $2,500 to the campaign, Peterslie says she will dedicate the book to them. Peterslie’s campaign will help her publish her book, but she also wants to let the Coulee Region area know about Kickstarter campaigns.

Article: Becca Dargatz

COLLEGE PICTURE BOOK

tons of jobs and only snagged a couple interviews here and there, and then eventually I ended up moving home a year later,” she says. While Peterslie was in Austin, she waited tables at a very busy restaurant, and found that a ton of her coworkers were in the same position she was: They had just graduated college, they were very capable of getting jobs, they were outgoing and intelligent people, but none

reativity runs deep in Dani Peterslie’s family. Her dad, TJ Peterslie, is a cartoonist that developed the Cheddarheads, and her mom, Michelle, runs ART 211 Pearl. Following in her family’s artsy footsteps, and inspired by her peers of recent college graduates that could not find a job in their field, Peterslie has set out to publish her book, “I Graduated From College…Now What the Hell Do I Do?!” by using a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds. Peterslie graduated from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse in 2011 and relocated to Austin, Texas, the following fall with her best friend. They did not line jobs up, but Peterslie assumed, armed with her fresh degree in communication studies, she would have no problem finding a job in one of the most promising and growing cities in the United States. “It was a little more competitive than I anticipated initially. I applied to tons and

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“It is a good creative platform for people, and if anyone has something they are passionate about, this can help get their project out to the world,” says Peterslie. Once the campaign starts on March 1, simply go to the website at www.kickstarter.com and search projects with “Dani Peterslie” or “I Graduated From College…Now What the Hell Do I Do?!” to pledge.

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NOW PLAYING Documentary Films at the Frozen River Film Festival.

he Frozen River Film Festival celebrates its 10th anniversary this month, with events taking place Feb.18-22 at several different venues in Winona, Minn. The festival offers a unique experience for movie lovers and anyone in the community looking for something different to beat cabin fever. All are invited to attend, including children, as there are several children’s events.

Audiences can view quality documentary films and participate in other events taking place over the weekend. Crystal Hegge, the festival director, explains documentary film and says, “Using the documentary form you will often see stories that are stranger than fiction and told in ways that open your eyes and your hearts to the human experience.” The organization is dedicated to presenting

audiences with thought-provoking material. “We are at a time when we have access to the real lives and situations of people we have never met, cultures we would have never known, and issues we have yet to consider,” she says. The goals of the festival are aptly described in its mission to “engage, educate, and activate our community to become involved in the world.” The documentary films and programming are chosen to promote dialogue, debate, and action on a number of local, regional and global topics. Hegge says, “Our filmmakers reach into the depths of their hearts and minds to tell a story that transcends the medium and touches the hearts and minds of our audience. It’s about connection. It’s about communication.”

She explains that the festival takes place throughout Winona, but the main weekend events take place on the Winona State University campus. Events besides film viewing take place at the Winona County Historical Society and the Minnesota Marine Art Museum. Winona LaDuke, internationally known author, is speaking Thursday, Feb.19, at 6:30 p.m. The festival website describes her as “a powerful

speaker who inspires her audiences to action and engagement.” “Love Thy Nature,” directed by Sylvie Rokab, is just one of the films chosen for this year’s festival (a complete listing can be found on the festival website). Narrated by Liam Neeson, the film explores humans’ relationship with the natural world. Hegge says to look forward to the award ceremony, as it will be a large celebration in its 10th year. “We will have food and beverages available for purchase, live music by The Last Revel, and many fun activities. You may get a chance to meet your favorite filmmaker or speaker since the goal of the event is to award our filmmakers with cash prizes,” she says. The public can attend the ceremony at the Masonic Temple. A committee of 12 chooses the films screened at the festival. Hegge and the festival’s lead programmer, Paul Soukup, consider the 12 committee members to be a fair sampling of the audience. Hegge and Soukup make the final decision after the committee’s review. Hegge says, “There are a number of reasons why films are not chosen. Artistic merit is a big reason, but there are often other reasons like trying to fit a long film in with the logistics of the festival. Or perhaps we have three good films on organic farming that all tell a similar story. We may choose not to show them all.” Four awards are given out at the end of the festival. Three judges are locked in a room before the festival to watch the eligible films and make a decision based on their own personal film knowledge and the screening criteria. “For 2015 we have three fantastic judges. Don Nelson is a Winona local and runs the Winona Film Society. Keri Pickett is an accomplished filmmaker from the Twin Cities who recently screened her film, ‘The Fabulous Ice Age,’ at the Frozen River Film Festival. JT Haines is

also a filmmaker who directed the film, ‘Gold Fever,’” says Hegge. Aside from film, the Winona State University Jazz Band will be performing for the ballroom dance. The dance takes place Friday, Feb. 20, at 7:30 p.m. and dance instruction will be provided. However, this is not your ordinary ballroom dance. Hegge says, “People are encouraged to come in vintage (recycled) formal wear and learn to dance ‘recycled’ dance styles.” The idea for the festival began in 2005 when a man named Walter Ordway wanted to bring documentary films to the Midwest. Hegge explains how a movie called “Future of Food” had such a strong effect on him that he wanted to build this festival in Winona. She says, “He wanted to bring the documentary film genre and the power of its message to the Midwest, so he started on a mission to find people and an organization that would be able to accomplish it.” After 10 years, Ordway’s original idea of what the festival would be is still in place thanks to Hegge, who somewhat saved the festival from an end when she became the director. To cure the winter blues and experience the power of documentary film, attend the Frozen River Film Festival this year. For a complete event schedule, locations and ticket pricing, please visit http://frff.org. by: Morgan Weibel

Winona LaDuke

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

A&E showtime THE PLAY IS

yo! follow us!

THE THING

Can’t find your dream job? Is it lack of skill? Could it be lack of education that is preventing you from realizing your dreams? Maybe the only thing missing is a little gumption. Enter Frank Abagnale. As a young man, Frank dreamt of a glamorous lifestyle but instead of jumping through educational hoops, he simply used his charm to achieve his dreams. He was a pilot with Pan Am, a doctor, a teacher and an attorney. Frank Abagnale is a real person and his story is true, but don’t be too quick to be like Frank. He spent five years in prison because, on top of his evolving resume, he cashed $2.5 million worth of bad checks. His story is simply amazing, and that is why his life has been the subject of a book, a movie starring A-list actors Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio, and, in 2011, a musical. The book, the movie and the play are all called “Catch Me If You Can,” and the winner of the Tony Award for Best Musical is coming to the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse Theatre. Catch it if you can. February is the month of love and romance, and Viterbo University has just the thing to fan the flames of desire: “The Mikado,” a comic opera by Gilbert and Sullivan. First opening in London in March 1885, “The Mikado” has been translated into numerous languages and is one of the most frequently played musical theatre pieces in history. The story takes place in Japan. There is a popular tale that states W.S. Gilbert’s inspiration for setting the opera in the Far East came when an old Japanese sword suddenly fell from its resting place on the wall of his study. This tale has been picked through with a great deal of debate and is now believed by many to be complete fiction. It is, however, a good story, so I will present it here as gospel truth. The story of “The Mikado” revolves around the love affair of Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum. Unfortunately, Yum-Yum is engaged to be married to her guardian, the tailor Ko-Ko. The government twirls the love triangle with issues of capital punishment and re-zoning. Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum encounter such relationship hiccups as beheadings and being buried alive. Only Gilbert and Sullivan can make a plot like this light-hearted and charming. Do things end well? Come to the show! Also, right up Cupid’s alley, The Muse Theatre will be performing “Shirley Valentine” early in the month. “Shirley Valentine,” premiering in 1986, is a one-character play by Willy Russell. Through poignantly written monologues, the play tells the story of a middle-aged Liverpool housewife who has been reduced to regularly talking to the wall while preparing meals for her husband. Her best friend wins a trip for two to Greece, and Shirley shakes the dust from her tired apron and steps into a world of romance. She discovers a new awareness of who she is and what her life can be with just a little more effort. This play is a heartwarming tale and is just the thing to shake a winter chill. It won the Laurence Olivier Award for Best New Comedy in 1988 and was nominated for a Tony Award for Best Play that same year. Looking ahead to March, be sure to put the Commonweal Theatre in Lanesboro, Minn. on your calendar. On March 19 they open “Mary’s Wedding” by Stephen Massicotte. This is another romantic play and would be a great compliment to your stay in the bed-and-breakfast capital of Minnesota. Do you see where I’m going with this? March is a great time for a change of scene, and Lanesboro is close, charming and nostalgic. Winter is a time for telling and listening to stories. Be sure to take advantage of all the wonderful choices and productions happening in our area. Catch Me If You Can UW-La Crosse Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts Feb. 27-28 and March 5-7 at 7:30 p.m., March 1 & 8 at 2 p.m. Box Office: 608-785-8522 The Mikado Viterbo Fine Arts Center Saturday, Feb, 21, at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, Feb. 22, at 2 p.m. viterbo.edu Shirley Valentine The Muse Theatre Feb. 6-7 & 13-14 at 7:30 p.m., Feb. 15 at 2 p.m. Tickets on Eventful.com Mary’s Wedding Commonweal Theatre Company March 19-29 commonwealtheatre.org

- By Michael Scott

FEBRUARY RELEASES The Seventh Son Release Date: February 6, 2015 Genres: Action

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KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

A&E tunes

tunes

REVIEW

by Michael Scott

YELLOW-BELLIED

S R E K C U S P A S

Songbirds of the Ocooch Mountain Range

’ve been producing a variety show since 2007. I’ve had countless musical acts as well as performers from a wide spectrum of artistic pursuits. Few have created more of a buzz than an unassuming duo out of Viroqua, Wis. called the Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers. They were a variety show promoter’s dream. Using traditional old-time fiddle tunes and tight harmonies, the Sapsuckers delighted the live audience of more than 100 with a mix of funny and heartwarming tunes. One in particular, entitled “The Kickapoo Switcheroo,” suggests the folks of Vernon County like to mix it up. (Wink,wink.) That little ditty has been the most talked

about song in the variety show’s history — as it should be. It was clever, charming, perfectly executed and, last but not least, really funny. Vaudeville-style entertainment is far from being deceased, and an evening listening to the Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers will assure you of that. The Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers are comprised of Joe Hart and Nikki Grossman. Nikki fields the fiddle, vocals and guitar along with some powerful kazoo. Joe shoulders guitar and vocals. They play originals, country hits of the 1920s and 30s, and folk music from around the globe. Americana is represented, along with Sweden, Mexico, Transylvania,

Venezuela and more. I caught up with the two in St. Louis during their current tour promoting the just released, “Ocooch Mountain Home.” During our brief phone interview I discovered Joe and Nikki were as charming and personable as they are when they are performing. Nikki grew up in a Twin Cities suburb, Golden Valley, Minn. Her family is musical. Her father plays bass, flute, piano and guitar, and still gigs. Nikki started her musical journey as a classically trained violinist. She taught herself guitar and, after high school, began exploring folk-style fiddling techniques. Islands of musicians interested in old-time music started to spring up, and then there was the release of the film and soundtrack, “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” added to the mix. Suddenly, old-time music was near mainstream and Nikki admitted that it played a significant role in her musical exploration. Joe is also from neighboring Minnesota, growing up on the Ojibwe reservation near Grand Portage, Minn. He is the youngest of eight children, three of whom are musicians, and melodies were fretted throughout his early years. He learned to play the flute, a German mandolin and the guitar before settling on a solid musical career path as a bassoon player. He joked that even though he was very serious about his study of the bassoon, it is a very temperamental instrument and generally not worth the effort. I concurred. I couldn’t recall a time when I had been stirred by a haunting bassoon solo. He moved to Viroqua 12 years ago and became involved in a grass-roots, old-

time music scene that had popped up in Gays Mills, Wis. He began playing in a band called the Posse Ramblers. When the fiddle player had to sit out due to arriving offspring, enter Nikki. The rest, as they say, is history. Joe and Nikki now live on a newly purchased farm with plans for a garden and some livestock. Of course, they also plan to use the muse of the landscape to create their music. The Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers recorded their debut album, “Speaking of Music ... Here are the Sapsuckers,” in Soldiers Grove, Wis. Then, after a successful Kickstarter campaign, they just released, “Ocooch Mountain Home.” For those readers who are unfamiliar with the Ocooch Mountain ran ge, chances are you currently live in the middle of it. The “Ocooch Mountains” is a place name for the Western Upland of Wisconsin, also known as the Driftless region. The first use of the name is believed to have come from the original inhabitants of the area because the vowels and consonants of Ocooch and their order are correct for the loway language, a Siouan language. Fitting, really. The Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers have taken a step back in order to move forward. There are musical artists that “own” a specific geography. Examples would be John Denver for the Rocky Mountains, Jimmy Buffett for Key West, and Gershwin for New York City. The Driftless region may someday be known by the warbling of its finest songbirds, the Yellow-Bellied Sapsuckers. Go to Sapsuckermusic.com and discover them for yourself.

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February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

food & drink

satisf

Organic, Fair Trade, Delicious.

Article: Morgan Weibel

DEL SOL CHOCOLATE

TASTE YOURBUDS

ynn Kronschnabel, chocolate maker, owner, and sole creator of Del Sol Chocolate, makes mouthwatering chocolate from bean to bar in the 350-squarefoot commercial kitchen attached to her home in Viroqua, Wis. “It’s an easy commute,” she says. She began making chocolate three years ago and now sells Del Sol Chocolate bars in several locations across Madison, La Crosse and Viroqua. There are several reasons why Kronschnabel began her business. Kronschnabel says, “It was through serendipity.” Her interest in health, wellness, Maya and Aztec culture, and past travels to rainforest areas all connected when she moved to Viroqua. In a community that nurtures small businesses and food businesses, she made connections that led to her decision to make chocolate her business. And also playing a part, says Kronschnabel, was “realizing when I eat really good chocolate, was intentional about [it], and had it by itself, that it did something to me. It is inspirational and uplifting.”

She traveled to Toronto and spent a week learning to make chocolate from an award-winning Canadian chocolate maker. This maker learned about cacao from a Maya community when he lived in Chiapas, Mexico. Kronschnabel explained there are 4000 years’ worth of history of the Maya and Aztec people using cacao. They treated cacao as a sacred food and the cacao tree as a pathway to the divine. Kronschnabel purchases her organic

cacao from farmer co-ops in Central America. Kronschnabel says, “There is also a dark side of cacao, [like] child labor and poor working conditions. Buying from co-ops and small farmers assures that the farmers are getting paid above what the international price is, and paid in a timely manner.” It took hard work and time to find the direct route to buying cacao beans, but through the chocolate-making network she found the farmer co-ops she buys from today.

The chocolate, now a liquid, is tempered to give it the cohesion, snap, shine, and retractability it needs so it comes out of the molds properly. Tempering is done by hand, versus a commercial process done by machine. The chocolate is finally poured into molds, cooled and individually wrapped by hand. In Kronschnabel’s kitchen this process makes 120 bars. Bean-to-bar chocolate making takes time and focus. She says she will not even go into

Her cacao comes from Southern Belize from a co-op called Maya Mountain Cacao, the Dominican Republic from a co-op called La Red Guaconejo, and from Matagalpa, Nicaragua. The cacao arrives as a dried seed or bean from the fruit of the cacao tree. The beans are fermented and dried before they are put into burlap bags and shipped. “It’s made with intention and love. It’s important that I buy from places that are helping people — it’s helping the farmers — so from that start I’m not just going, ‘Where can I get it [for] the cheapest price,’” says Kronschnabel. Kronschnabel makes her chocolate from

the kitchen if she does not feel right about it. Del Sol Chocolate is well worth the cost, considering Kronschnabel’s work time alone. Stone grinding gives a unique texture and more body to chocolate than commercial chocolate like Hershey, she explains. Kronschnabel also emphasizes the health benefits contained in Del Sol Chocolate. It is beneficial to the cardiovascular system and is a natural antidepressant. It evokes feelings of bliss and is full of antioxidants. She says, “Chocolate is more of a medicine than a food. I don’t think of it as candy. Because to me, candy implies sugar and very sweet things in flavor, but not nutrition and other health benefits.” Kronschnabel describes her chocolate as such: “Enlivening for all the senses. Chocolate brings people into the moment and the now. If you eat a piece of chocolate with intention and focus, you can smell it first, notice what kind of aromas you get as you’re holding it, the fruity notes or the nutty notes. As you snap it you notice, does it have a good temper or a nice break to it? And, of course, the taste as you put it in your mouth and the texture. Delicious, of course — a heart-opening food that creates inspiration in us [and] slows us to feel our deepest desires and our dreams. My chocolate is really food for the soul and medicine.”

bean to bar and begins by sorting the beans. The beans are then slowly roasted at low temperatures and stirred for 45 to 55 minutes. Next, she grinds the beans into what are called nibs to allow a separation of the skin from the seed. Winnowing then separates the skins. Afterward, a machine (called a molino) pulls the cacao between two stones and grinds it into a paste. The paste goes into a second grinder called a melanger. Two granite stones break the paste down into finer particles. This stage takes eight hours to two days depending on what texture she is looking for. At this point, she adds cacao butter and organic sugar. KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

food & Drink Mmm

, Fooo

food review - Makin’ Craft Soda ... Pop!

One of the best things about living in the Driftless region is our easy access to local, organic, delicious foods and drinks. More specifically, when you think of locally crafted beverages, you probably are thinking about something fermented. At least, I know I did — before I had a chance to talk with Austin Ashley, creator of Wisco Pop, a craft brewery of soda! Featuring Ginger Brew, Cherry Bomb, and Root Beer, the folks at Wisco Pop have searched for only the best local and fresh ingredients, perfected their recipes, and distributed all over the state in order to bring their love of natural, quality beverages to the masses — a feat they are able to perform thanks in part to a massively successful Kickstarter project, allowing for Wisco Pop to be bottled and taken home instead of almost exclusively being found on tap. Unique in that it offers customers “a soda they feel good about drinking,” the creators of Wisco Pop are very proud of their production process. “Why natural — that’s the thing we’re doing that sets us apart from any other soda. We’re actually taking the whole ingredients and processing them in-house and creating a product, rather

than having a scientist make flavor compounds to create soda,” Austin explains. Wisco Pop began about 10 years ago when Austin and Hallie Ashley moved from Madison to Viroqua, though they both had been interested in local and organic food for a while. They were able to turn their love for finding fresh, quality food into their profession in 2012, performing an initial market study by selling their soda in farmers markets to judge the feasibility of Wisco Pop. After six months or so, they decided to go wholesale, and the Root Note in La Crosse was the first place to feature the soda. Currently, Wisco Pop is available on tap in more than 25 locations in the Driftless region, Madison and Milwaukee. Transitioning from home brewing to a much bigger operation wasn’t without challenges, which included creating a product on a large scale while still maintaining quality, as well as making the product consistent. “We need to have verification that we’re hitting the same sweetness levels,” Austin said. Figuring out the logistics of delivering and publicizing the soda, in addition to the bottling project, were also big projects for Wisco Pop — projects they continue to work on as they expand. Austin identifies getting to know people and spreading a passion for quality foods as two of his favorite things about starting and expanding Wisco Pop, and that passion is reflected in the company’s production philosophy: Everything is locally sourced or organic, and many times, both! Instead of high fructose corn syrup and a lengthy list of

chemicals you can’t pronounce, Wisco Pop’s ingredients include Wisconsin honey, cherry juice from Door County, and organic maple valley syrup. For ingredients not found in Wisconsin, Wisco Pop looks for organic and fair trade ingredients. In 2013, Wisco Pop saw some big changes as they expanded. Zac Mathes, who also created a farm-totable pizza company (How cool is that?! And perfect with craft-brewed pop!), joined the Ashleys as they began their Kickstarter project. The project raised more than $24,000, as well as a huge thirst for the beverages. With more than 300 backers on Kickstarter and even more people enjoying the drinks from restaurants, Wisco Pop continues to grow in popularity. “Wisco Pop makes it okay to drink soda again,” and in a time where many popular carbonated beverages have been dismissed by doctors and the general public for their artificial additives and limited health offerings, Wisco Pop truly delivers on this promise because of its unique production. And aren’t we lucky to have such a delicious,

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well-crafted beverage made in our own backyard? From the Wisco Pop website: Ginger Brew: Big and spicy thanks to fresh, organic ginger, but balanced by the sweetness of local Wisconsin honey. Ingredients: carbonated water, Wisconsin honey, organic ginger, organic lime juice, organic lemon juice, organic lavender flowers. Cherry Bomb: Wisconsin’s own Door County tart cherries and raw honey coupled with fresh vanilla beans. Ingredients: carbonated water, Wisconsin honey, Door County tart cherry juice, organic lemon juice, vanilla bean, cinnamon. Root Beer: Herbaceous and slightly sweet, just how our forefathers intended. Ingredients: carbonated water, organic fair trade turbinado sugar, wintergreen leaves, licorice root, cinnamon wood, vanilla bean, Wisconsin vanilla beanery extract, molasses, Wisconsin organic maple valley syrup. - By Katie Svitavsky

608-787-4500 • www.altra.org La Crosse • Festival Foods* Onalaska • Holmen • West Salem La Crescent • Winona • Rochester

800-755-0055 • www.drivealtra.org

*Membership eligibility required. A+ Checking available for personal accounts only. Qualifying accounts earn currently posted Annual Percentage Yield (APY) on balances up to $15,000; Portion of balance over $15,000 earn 0.50% APY. Account earns 0.10% APY if all requirements are not met in any given cycle. Rates subject to change monthly. Dividends calculated and paid each calendar month on the daily balance. Contact Altra for complete details. Federally insured by NCUA.

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

od!

food & Drink

FINDING

Ratitnhge

THE NEW

Reds

IN THE OLD

by Alyssa Schulte Viroqua-based Vernon Vineyards, a lovely spot situated in the hills of Vernon County, overlooking the Bad Axe River. In their words, Vernon Vineyards “specialize in fine wines from cold-climate grapes.” Upon the first sip of the Elmaro’s challenger, I wasn’t entirely surprised to find it tasted quite similar. As I delved deeper into my research (that is to say, polished off the bottle), I started noticing the similarities, yes, but also what set “Ridge Red” apart. Set side by side, the color was slightly darker than the “3 Cheers” wine, although it was a similar warm shade of ruby red. The texture was a little sharper on the tongue, making it a wine that would pair well with the right meal or dessert. It had a nice, deep, fruity aroma; a dry, yet fruity taste; and finished very well, again with no unfortunate aftertaste, but instead left a subtle lingering of cherries dancing on my tongue. All scientific mumbo-jumbo aside, I will definitely be partaking in both wines again. Apart from the fact that they’re locally based (which is awesome in itself … drink local!), the simple fact remains that they’re delicious! Both are available at various retailers and bars in our area, so it’s easy to grab your own bottle. If you’re interested in learning more about these two local vineyards and all they have to offer, check out their respective websites at www.elmarovineyard.com and www.vernonvineyards.com. Both locations offer wine tastings and tours, make accommodations for private occasions, and routinely offer fun and unique special events.

Snapshot: “3 Cheers”

Article: Mikaela Kronowski Jingjing Fang Shiyang Chen

The Culture of Friendship.

A REVIEW OF TWO LOVELY LOCAL WINES

Just in time for Valentine’s Day, this month’s drink review focuses on two red wines from local vineyards. I’ll be honest: I’m no wine connoisseur. And that whole “swish and spit” procedure didn’t quite happen, either. I do, however, love and appreciate a good glass of wine, especially when they’re as delectable as the reds reviewed below. I reviewed these two wines in the five basic areas: color, aroma, texture, taste and finish. The first I tried was a semi-sweet red blend labeled “3 Cheers” from Elmaro Vineyard. Located in Trempealeau, Wis., Elmaro Vineyard’s passion for wine stems (pun intended) from their love of grapes. The inscription on the label of the bottle reads, “A delightful blend of three grape varietals that come together in spectacular fashion.” And I have to say … pretty spot on! The color of this wine is a deep, ruby red, really almost purple in certain lights. Its aroma, otherwise known as its “bouquet,” is sweet and slightly oaky, with an overwhelming scent of grapes. Its light and silky texture creates a pleasant experience, making this wine ideal for sipping and chatting. If you hold it on your tongue long enough, the taste becomes more complex than simply “fruity” or “sweet”; you can almost feel the three grape flavors splitting apart and becoming their own separate entities. The wine finishes very nicely, leaving no bitter aftertaste I’ve come to expect from most red wines. The second wine to delight my taste buds was “Ridge Red,” which hails from

ness @ sty good more ta om ronicle.c klutchch

“Ridge Red”

(Semi-Sweet Red Blend - Red Table Wine) Produced and bottled by: Elmaro Vineyard N14756 Delaney Road Trempealeau, WI 54661 608-534-6456 www.elmarovineyard.com

(Wisconsin Red Table Wine) Produced and bottled by: Vernon Vineyards S3426 Peterson Lane Viroqua, WI 54665 608-634-6181 www.vernonvineyards.com

Color: deep, ruby red; almost purple Aroma: sweet, overwhelming scent of grapes Texture: light and silky; perfect for sipping Taste: sweet; three distinct grape flavors Finish: finishes well; no bitter aftertaste

Color: warm, ruby red Aroma: fruity and sweet Texture: sharp and smooth Taste: dry and fruity Finish: lingering taste of cherries

In our culture, we are constantly being told to go out and try new things. However, we’re rarely told to try old things with new people. Being a UW-L student, I’ve been friends with a group of Chinese foreign exchange students for two years. Recently, I decided to take two of them, JingJing and Shiyang, to Sushi Pirate, a posh Japanese restaurant in buzzing downtown La Crosse. All of us had been to the restaurant before and we all agreed that we liked sushi, so we didn’t expect to have any surprises. Very early on into our outing, all three of us realized we had signed ourselves up for a strange cultural experience. Upon entering the restaurant, several servers immediately recognized my friends and greeted them in Chinese by saying, “Ni hao.” Considering myself at least remotely aware of basic cultural information, I know that sushi is a traditional Japanese dish, not a Chinese dish. I was totally lost as to why my friends were able to communicate. As soon as we sat down I asked them, “So, do you two speak Japanese and Chinese?” They laughed at me and explained that the owners and many of the waiters are actually Chinese, not Japanese, as I had so naively assumed. I was a little disappointed because I was anticipating that my friends and I would for once be on the same playing field, people of different cultures in a separate culture unlike the ones from our homelands. Nonetheless, I picked myself up from my blunder and looked at Sushi Pirate with an interesting new light. The usual laughter from my group of giddy girlfriends quickly resurfaced and we continued into our table talk conversation. As soon as our dishes were served, I hastily unwrapped and broke apart my chopsticks, prepared to impress my Chinese friends with my chopstick finesse and sushi-handling skills. Much to my dismay, I saw the girls picking up the sushi rolls with their hands and stuffing them in their mouths. I was caught between a state of confusion and disappointment that I was not going to be able to join my friends in what I thought was going to be their traditional meal etiquette. As politely as I could muster, I asked them why they weren’t using the chopsticks, after all, I thought it was Chinese culture to do so. After swallowing a bite of her raw delicacy, JingJing said, “We don’t eat sushi with chopsticks, Mikaela!” JingJing and Shiyang laughed at my dismay. I replied, “Well, why not?!” She said, “I learned it from the Japanese; they have the habit of using their fingers to eat sushi. You know, in Rome, do as the Romans do. It’s also too hard to eat it like that, so we just use our hands.” That was the simple truth. Why was I using chopsticks? My friends were right, using the utensils usually slows my eating and does carry with it the large probability of accidentally flipping my roll into the air, watching it soar across the room, and plopping on some poor couple on their first date. With that, I abandoned my chopsticks and began using my fingers as well. As soon as I believed I was finally on the same page as JingJing and Shiyang, they suddenly moved their plates into the center of the table and began eating off of each other’s plates. I looked down at my own dish and wondered if I should shove it into the middle too. What in the world were they doing? Am I supposed to take some food off of my friends’ plates without asking? How many rules of Chinese dining etiquette can I break in one night? Embarrassed once again, I asked my patient friends if I should move my plate as well. Shiyang replied, “It’s common in China for everyone at the table to move their plates into the middle and share with the group. Don’t you think it a way to promote friendship by sharing delicious food? You can also enjoy more food in a cheap price.” With that, I scooted my sushi and began feasting off of the plates of my friends. The practice made sense, why not share the amazing tastes of your order with your friends? As I left the restaurant beside the two girls, I decided that you don’t always have to find a new great place to have a new experience. I went to an old favorite spot with new people and had a completely different meal than the one I’d ordered many times before at Sushi Pirate. Sharing the same dish with new friends who come from different cultures can change the way you look at the food before you, as well as the knowledge you thought you knew so well. Guest Student Writer Contribution by Mikaela Kronowski, Jingjing Fang and Shiyang Chen, of UW-La Crosse. Would you like to be a guest community writer? Submit your work at www.KlutchChronicle.com

KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

health & fitness MASSAGE THERAPY FOR DUMMIES

Article: Alyssa Schulte

ss wellne MIND, BODY

Guaranteed to soothe and relax.

eed a cure for those midwinter blues, a break from your aching back, or perhaps just a really great Valentine’s Day gift for your sweetheart? Why not consider massage therapy? With its vast benefits for both the body and soul, the gift of massage therapy is personal, thoughtful, and guaranteed to soothe and relax. According to www.massagetherapy. com, a site run by Associated Bodywork & Massage Professionals and dedicated solely to educating the public about massage therapy, massage is “one of the oldest healing arts.” And they’re not kidding when they say old. Chinese records reaching as far back as 3,000 years document the use of massage for multiple purposes … and they weren’t the only ones. Ancient Hindus, Persians and Egyptians apparently also relied on massage therapy to treat a variety of ailments. So, if time is any indication of success, there must be something to this form of therapy, right? While today’s form of massage therapy probably widely differs (and hopefully is

FOR &SOLE

far more advanced) than our ancestral massaging pioneers, the basic goals are fundamentally the same: to relieve stress and tension from the body and mind of the massage recipient. So, what would a present-day massage entail? Again according to the Associated Bodywork & Massage Professionals, today’s massage includes “stroking, kneading, tapping, compression, vibration, rocking, friction, and pressure to the muscular structure or soft tissues of the human body … and may also include non-forceful passive or active movement and/or application of techniques intended to affect the energetic systems of the body.” Oils and lotions are often used to make the procedure less disruptive for your skin. Why give massage therapy a try? For the countless benefits, of course! For those who suffer from physical ailments (back pain, sore muscles, migraines) or even mental roadblocks (stress, anxiety, depression), massage therapy has been credited with temporarily improving all of these ailments, and many more. And the more often you go, the longer your results will last. According to the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine, massage therapy can greatly improve the lives of those suffering from a variety of serious medical conditions. Can it cure cancer? Of course not. It can, however, “reduce pain, promote relaxation, and boost mood” of cancer patients. Can it eradicate mental illness? Negative. But … studies have shown that massage can reduce depression and anxiety, improve concentration, enhance sleep quality and increase energy levels.

There are many, many options for massage available in our area (indeed, way more than I’d previously imagined). Take a gander: Balanced Bodywork Massage Therapy (146 Rose St., La Crosse) www.massagelacrosse.com 608-769-5882 Body & Sol (9376 State Rd., Onalaska / 1006 19th St. S, La Crosse) www.bodyandsol.biz 608-781-2639 / 608-782-8268 Heaven’s Hands Massage & Bodywork Clinic (205 N Chestnut, La Crescent) www.heavenshands.com 507-895-5000 Herbal Healings Massage and Wellness Center (603 King St., La Crosse) www.herbalhealings.com 608-784-6659 Kneaded Health Massage & Wellness (704 Sand Lake Rd., Onalaska) www.kneadedhealthmassage.com 608-790-1880 Metropolitan Salon & Spa (600 N 3rd St., La Crosse / 100 State St., Holmen) www.metropolitanspa.com 608-784-6441 / 608-526-6440

Massage Oil

Zen Masaj La Crosse Therapeutic Massage Center (700 3rd St. N, La Crosse) www.zenmasaj.com 608-790-0477 Price ranges vary depending on the services you choose, the length of your massage, and, of course, where you go. My research found that a good rule of thumb to follow is that a massage costs about $1 per minute, give or take a couple bucks, although this varies from place to place. A typical massage can last from 30 to 90 minutes, with some places offering 15-minute interval time frames, such as 45 or 75 minutes. And if you’re a newbie, rejoice! Many establishments often offer great discounts for your first visit. So, whether you’re a worrywart (like myself), have a momentous life event coming up that’s causing you stress (I’m talking about you, bridezillas!), or simply have a physically demanding job that’s (literally) working your last nerve, massage therapy may be something you should look into. And with Valentine’s Day coming up, what better way to shower your special someone with affection than the thoughtful gift of personal pampering? Most massage centers and spas in town offer gift cards or gift packages. Make sure to check out the establishments listed above for their hours, therapy packages, prices and deals. With all of the wonderful places to go in the La Crosse area for a great massage, you’re sure to find something that suits your needs and your budget.

DIY

IT ISN’T THAT HARD, RIGHT?

February is a month to remember to love each other and to love ourselves. One way to show this love is to massage all the kinks and tension away! I’ll keep this simple so you can get to the good part.

Step 1

Grab a glass container to put your oil mix in (metal and plastic aren’t the best options).

Step 2

Find a “carrier oil” you like. You can use a carrier oil on its own, but adding essential oils makes the massage even betta’. A few carrier oil options Coconut oil: This oil is a solid up to 75°F so some like the idea of pre-mixing essential oils with coconut oil and then throwing the mix in the fridge to create a massage bar. Grape seed oil: Light and absorbs easily. Low risk of allergy. Jojoba oil: A liquid wax. This is a favorite for some but I feel it leaves a light residue. Low risk of allergy. Sweet almond oil: One of my faves. Very emollient. Doesn’t absorb immediately, so reapplication isn’t required as much during massage. Nut allergen.

Step 3

Decide what kind of massage you’re going for. Then pick up some essential oils to add to your recipe.

Sport Chill: your guy when you have some muscle inflammation going on • Carrier Oil = 1 ounce • Essential Oils = 2-3 drops of each - Peppermint - Copaiba or Vetiver - Wintergreen Sport Heat: energize your muscles when you’re achy • Carrier Oil = 1 ounce • Essential Oils = 2-3 drops of each - Ginger - Clove - Black Pepper Relax: when you wanna’ forget the day and pass out • Carrier Oil = 1 ounce • Essential Oils = 2-3 drops of each - Lavender - Ylang Ylang - Tangerine Sensual: for a lovely feelin’ • Carrier Oil = 1 ounce • Essential Oils = 2-3 drops of each - Clove - Tangerine - Jasmine

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

by: Michelle L. Jerome

Step 4

Spread the love! Massage away!

Notes so you do it right

• Be safe! If you’re allergic to something, don’t use the oil derived from it. Got a nut allergy? Don’t use sweet almond oil to get the knots out of your feet! • Drink water. Lotsa’ water. You should anyway but when the body is massaged, toxins that have been hanging out in your body are stirred up and this is your chance to flush them out. • Pick high quality oils. Some brands of essential oils aren’t even supposed to be applied to skin. There are a few high-caliber companies out there, so check your sources and get the good stuff. It’s your body; why skimp? • As a general rule, you can make your own recipe by picking a carrier oil and adding 6 to 12 drops of essential oil per ounce of carrier oil.

WHAT

GET INVOLVED

BETTERMENT OF OUR FORCOMMUNITY

YOU CAN DO

AMERICAN RED CROSS - SCENIC BLUFFS CHAPTER: American Red Cross prevents and alleviates human suffering in the face of emergencies by mobilizing the power of volunteers and the generosity of donors. Volunteers can support blood drives, train to respond to disasters, teach lifesaving First Aid/CPR classes, support our Armed Forces, assist at special events and more! 2927 Losey Blvd S, La Crosse, WI; volunteerwestern.wi@redcross.org; 877-618-6628 ext. 5822; www.redcross.org/wi/la-crosse. BETHANY LUTHERAN HOMES: Volunteers may assist with recreational activities, read aloud to residents, help with writing, assist with special events, help with weekly outings, manicures, one-on-one visits, sing-alongs, gardening, mail delivery, crafts, playing games, helping with computers, doing errands or shopping, helping with walks or outdoor time, teaching a special talent, and more. Download a volunteer form at www.bethanylutheranhomes.org or call 608.406.3900. BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OF THE 7 RIVERS REGION: Volunteers enroll through Big Brothers Big Sisters and following an interview, references and a background check, are oriented and introduced to a little brother or little sister by BBBS staff. Regular support is available to assure that the relationship builds over time, and any logistical problems are resolved. For more info, please email Lyndsey Langer at llanger@7riversbbbs. org or Jeff Murawski at jmurawski@7riversbbbs.org or call 608.782.2227. BOYS AND GIRLS CLUBS OF GREATER LA CROSSE: Volunteers are a vital part of many programs at the Boys and Girls Clubs. Opportunities are available in many areas, including athletics, tutoring, game room management, recreation, special events and clerical areas. Your involvement and support is encouraged. For more information, please call 608.782.3926, or visit their website to fill out the volunteer application at www.bgcgl.org. CHILDREN’S MUSEUM: Lend a Hand! Volunteers are an important part of the Children’s Museum team. If you are enthusiastic, reliable and fond of children, check into current volunteer opportunities and contact us soon! Visit their website to fill out a volunteer application at www.funmuseum.org or call 608.784.2652. COULEE REGION HUMANE SOCIETY: Volunteers needed to help care for animals and collect donations for animals. For more information, call 608.781.4014. For a list of current opportunities, or to fill out an application, click the Volunteer link at www. couleehumane.com. COULEE REGION UNITED SOCCER ASSOCIATION (CRUSA): Help with concessions, trash removal, fundraising events, and tournament staff at the La Crosse area Field for Kids Facility in Industrial Park. For more information about volunteering, contact Vanessa Machado (volunteer organizer) at crusasoccer@gmail. com or check out their website: www.crusa-soccer. com. CROSSFIRE YOUTH CENTER: Crossfire seeks to transform the lives of local teens by providing safe and fun activities. Crossfire is always seeking volunteers who have a heart to serve. Volunteer opportunities include assisting in weight lifting, archery, outdoor activities, and our Friday night party alternative. 608-784-6565; amanda@crossfire4u.com; crossfire4u.com. FRANCISCAN SPIRITUALITY CENTER: Volunteers provide the hospitality that makes FSC such a special place. They provide refreshment setup, work at the front desk, greet visitors and help with special events. Shifts are as little as one hour, primarily evenings and weekends. No special skills are needed. FSC is dedicated to anyone seeking God, meaning and wholeness. We’re at 920 Market Street, La Crosse. Please contact Linda Kerrigan at lkerrigan@fspa. org or 608-791-5276. More information about FSC at FSCenter.org.

GREAT RIVERS UNITED WAY: Great Rivers United Way Volunteer Center hosts an array of volunteer opportunities. Give an hour. Give a Saturday. Give your best. We all have special talents. Things we can do to help. And when we reach out a hand to one, we influence the condition of all. There are hundreds of volunteer options available every day. Give the gift of you. Volunteer. (608) 796-1400; jlarsen@gruw.org; www.greatriversunitedway.org/volunteer-2. HABITAT FOR HUMANITY/RESTORE: For Women Build, construction, Critical Home Repair, ReStore, special events or office work, contact Bekky Mayfield, Volunteer Coordinator for Habitat for Humanity, at volunteer@habitatlacrosse.org or 608.785.2375 X1604. HILLVIEW URBAN AGRICULTURE CENTER: The mission of Hillview is to create a healthy community through a local, sustainable, and accessible food system. We have volunteer opportunities in the following programs: Market Baskets, vermicomposting, various gardening tasks, hoop house construction, fundraising, grant writing, and marketing. (608) 786-0338; vicki@ vsm5.com; www.hillviewuac.org. HORSESENSE FOR SPECIAL RIDERS: Be a “side walker” or horse leader, exercise the therapy horses, muck out the barns, help with special events. Email executivedirector@hssrweb.org, call 608.791.4868 or fill out the online volunteer form at www.hssr.org. HUNGER TASK FORCE Assist in the Food Recovery program. Volunteers are needed to pick up and deliver food items, stock and inventory food items, and assist with office/clerical work. Visit www.lacrossehtf.org/volunteer to sign up! LA CRESCENT ANIMAL RESCUE: We are committed to being a no-kill shelter, which means we are always looking for both foster and permanent homes for the animals left in our care. At our facility, volunteer tasks available include cat and/or dog care, cleaning, clerical, and animal transportation. Must be 16 years of age. 523 S Chestnut St, La Crescent, MN. (507) 895-2066;www.lacrescentanimalrescue.blogspot.com. LA CROSSE AREA FAMILY YMCA: Volunteers are critically important to carrying out our mission, so we ask our program volunteers to go through an application and screening process similar to that of our paid staff members. This process ensures that the best fit is made between the new volunteer and the program they are matched with, while also ensuring the safety of our members, participants, staff and all of our volunteers. View volunteer opportunities with La Crosse’s largest youth-serving organization and fill out an application at the Get Involved link at www.laxymca.org. OUTDOOR RECREATION ALLIANCE (ORA): The Outdoor Recreation Alliance seeks to optimize world-class outdoor recreational opportunities. Volunteers are needed for various activities, including trail work. www.naturesplacetoplay.com. WAFER Volunteers are needed to sort and stock food, help clients, and assist with general upkeep. If you would like to join their growing team, call 782-6003 or email info@waferlacrosse.org.

ASSISTED. LIVING. IT. UP.

Volunteering at your local assisted-living home.

Article: Jason Larsen

volunteer

Need more Klutch? ...of course you do! www.klutchchronicle.com

helpin

It was an ordinary day at an extraordinarily ordinary place. I was in the long hall of an assisted-living home here in La Crosse. I was briefly visiting a friend who is waiting on a hip. He is in such condition that it makes more sense for him to ride it out in a care center than at his home. My parents are young and spry in their 60s. My grandparents have long passed. That said, it’s not often I find myself in an assisted-living home. It was precisely as I imagined it would be — a cross between elderly communal living and a laid-back hospital. The home reminded me of nothing in particular, but the experience of the place brought my thoughts to some friends who occasionally volunteer at assisted-living homes. That’s just what we invite you to do this month: Bring something remarkable to the unvarying days of the assisted-living residents — yourself and your talents — by volunteering at an assisted-living home. This past holiday season, some friends had volunteered at an assisted-living home, bringing only Christmas carols and their own ridiculousness. They laughed and talked about the experience for weeks. The residents could not get enough of the carolers — young and middle-aged men and women, with less than optimal singing talents, serenading and taking requests. The carolers could not get enough of the residents who were taking true delight in the caroling and the less-than-ideal talents of the carolers. A few of the volunteers have made a habit now of just showing up at the center to chat with those who feel like chatting. When volunteering at assisted-living centers, people unquestionably get back more than they give. There are many ways to volunteer at the assisted-living centers and homes. Most centers are also wholly open to your ideas. On the list of popular volunteer activities are bingo, reading stories/novels, and simply stopping by to socialize with folks whose visitors are few and far between; it is always time well spent. A local childcare center brings the students to the homes for a variety of seasonal activities, from bringing valentine’s cards and candy to reading and trick-or-treating. These are just a smattering of the many opportunities to be of service in the homes. So now the ball is in your court. Bring something outstanding to the unchanging days of the assistedliving residents: yourself. Below is a list of local homes. Give them a call for ideas on what you can do, or give them a call to bring your ideas to them. Jason Larsen is the community impact director at Great Rivers United Way, a community-minded volunteer, and an occasional freelance writer. Brookdale Senior Living Solutions www.brookdale.com 608-788-2832

Bethany St. Joseph www.bsjcorp.com 608-788-5700

Benedictine Villa www.blclacrosse.org 608-788-7489

Clara House www.theclarahouse.com 608-787-8094

Hillview Terrace Assisted Living www.co.la-crosse.wi.us/hillview/assistedliving/ 608-785-5500

Want to volunteer? Here’s some great ways to make a difference!

WARMING CENTER OF LA CROSSE: Volunteer for supplying dinner for the homeless, check-in, overnight watch, or morning clean up. Call Catholic Charities’ Mary Fitzpatrick at 608.782.0710 ext. 220 for more information or to volunteer. WISCONSIN CONSERVATION CORPS: WisCorps engages youth and young adults in direct conservation projects on public lands across the state. Volunteer opportunities include trail maintenance, tree planting, event assistance, and more! (608) 782-2494; staff@ wiscorps.org; www.wiscorps.org.

Place your FREE listing! Email info@muellermediacorp.com with your volunteer opportunity or calendar event. Listings are subject to approval and may be edited for content or space. KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

sup IN THE COULEE REGION (WHAT’S UP)

Local events calendar for February 2015 FEBRUARY 1

ARTS: “DUSK” All Day @ The Pump House in La Crosse (until Feb. 21) Featuring photography by Kate Hawks, where we see through her lens “the fugitive balance between presence and absence in subjects that appeal to her.” ARTS: “PEOPLE & THEIR SURROUNDINGS” All Day @ The Pump House in La Crosse (until Feb. 21) Sandra Boskamp gives some perspective as to how complicated the human person is through her “puzzle-like portraits.”

FEBRUARY 2

EXERCISE & OUTDOORS: MONDAY NIGHT GROUP RUN 6-7 pm @ Grand Bluff Running (every Monday night) Go for a weekly 3-, 5-, or 7-mile run with a fun group of people; stay after for hot cocoa and snacks! TRIVIA: TRIVIA NIGHT 8 pm @ The Root Note Test your knowledge and enjoy some food and drinks too at the Root Note every Monday night!

FEBRUARY 3

EXERCISE & OUTDOORS: ADULT BARRE FITNESS 5:30-6:30 pm @ Misty’s Dance Unlimited (every Tuesday) This class combines it all: Pilates, yoga, ballet and stretching, all so you can sculpt your abs, legs, and glutes. $69 for a six-week session or $15 per visit. MUSIC: JAZZ NIGHT 8 pm @ The Root Note Come down for a night filled with music and good times!

FEBRUARY 4

MUSIC: BAREFOOT WONDER 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note! SPORTS: UW-L WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN-STOUT 7 pm @ Mitchell Hall.

All events are subject to change, call ahead for details. Listings in the calendar are free. If you have an event that you would like to include in an upcoming issue, go to our website www.klutchchronicle.com or call 608-796-8780. FOOD & DRINK: GOURMET BEER AND FOOD PAIRING DINNER 6-10 pm @ Pearl Street Brewery Get a sneak peek at the Brewery’s Winter Ball releases, with some lovely food pairings from The Mint, Kate’s on State, JavaVino, Seasons By the Lake, and Three Rivers Lodge. Tickets are $60.

MUSIC: THE CHARLES WALKER BAND 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note! SPORTS: UW-L MEN’S BASKETBALL VS. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN-SUPERIOR 7 pm @ Mitchell Hall.

FEBRUARY 5

ENTERTAINMENT: ALL ACCESS 2015 6 pm @ Flipside Pub & Grill (Every Thursday until 2/26) Win tickets to EVERYTHING! And they mean everything: tickets for concerts, Oktoberfest and Riverfest buttons, tickets with camping for Rock Rest, etc.

FUNDRAISER: EMPTY BOWLS 11 am-3 pm @ Best Western Riverfront Hotel Select your favorite bowl from a selection of 1,000 made by Generous Earth Pottery. $15 donation includes the bowl, locally-made soup and bread. Proceeds to benefit Hunger Task Force. Contact Generous Earth for more info at 608-782-3904.

MUSIC: NOAH JAMES HITTNER 7 pm @ Trempealeau Hotel Singer, songwriter and author Noah Hittner hails from the Fountain City area and likes to use the Coulee Region and Upper Mississippi as a creative backdrop for his sometimes funny, often romantic and always heartfelt compositions.

FEBRUARY 11

MUSIC: UNION SUITS 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note!

FEBRUARY 6

EXERCISE & OUTDOORS: FRIDAY MORNING GROUP RUN 6:30-7:30 am @ Grand Bluff Running (Every Friday) Start your Friday mornings off right with a run with a great group of people!

Weber Center

for the

Performing Arts

Two nights, two great shows!

MUSIC: CHARLES WALKER BAND 9 pm @ Trempealeau Hotel It’s been a while since a real funk/R’nB band has played in Trempealeau - about time to change that. And Charles Walker is just the man to bring the groove back to The Hotel. As an accomplished singer, songwriter and sax player Walker and his five piece band make you feel like Sly and the Family Stone, James Brown and George Clinton are in the house. The Hotel is fortunate to be on the Charles Walker Band’s national tour promoting their latest album Ghetto Prophet. A contribution of $5 (or more if you wish) is appreciated. MUSIC: THE PINES 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note!

webercenterfortheperformingarts.org 428 Front Street South, La Crosse, WI 54601

608-784-9292 28

SPORTS: UW-L MEN’S BASKETBALL VS. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN-OSHKOSH 7 pm @ Mitchell Hall. SPORTS: VITERBO WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. MOUNT MERCY 5:30 pm @ Varsity Athletics Center (VAC). SPORTS: VITERBO MEN’S BASKETBALL VS. MOUNT MERCY 7:30 pm @ Varsity Athletics Center (VAC). WORKSHOPS: LOVE & MONEY - FROM THE MONEY COUPLE, SCOTT AND BETHANY PALMER 6:30-7:30 pm @ 260 Graff Main Hall.

FEBRUARY 12

THEATRE: WEST SIDE STORY IN CONCERT 7:30 pm (Feb. 6-7); 2 pm (Feb. 8) @ Lyche Theatre Watch a classic come to life on the stage as a concert! This original production is directed and choreographed by Jerome Robbins. For ticket prices call the Viterbo Box Office.

MUSIC: OPEN MIC 8 pm @ The Root Note Do you have the chops to sing on the stage? Take a chance and have some fun belting it out every Thursday night!

FEBRUARY 7

February 21, 2015 at 7:30pm The all-dancing, all-singing tap sensation!

FOOD & DRINKS: FREE WHEELIN’ WEDNESDAY 4-8 pm @ Pearl Street Brewery Crazy enough to brave the elements on your bike? PSB will reward you with a free pint if you make it to the tasting room!

THEATRE: SHIRLEY VALENTINE 7:30 pm (Feb. 6, 7, 13 & 14); 2 pm (Feb. 15) @ The Muse Theatre Be transported from La Crosse to Liverpool, UK, to Greece while watching this production written by Willy Russell, and see if Shirley can find herself again. Tickets are $15-$25; more info at www.themusetheatrelacrose.bpt.me.

TRIVIA: TRIVIA NIGHT AT THE LIBRARY 5:45-8 pm @ La Crosse Main Library Come with a group of 2-6 people and compete to win local gift certificates, a Kindle for each member on your team, and more!

February 11, 2015 at 7:30pm Hilarious and heartwarming stand up comedy on relationships, dating, parenting, and more.

instrumentalists are sure to bring one beautiful night of music to Trempealeau.

MUSIC: STEVE CARLISLE 7 pm @ Trempealeau Hotel The singer/songwriter and guitar player from La Crosse dabbles expertly in folk, blues and just enough rock ‘n roll to get his audiences to snap their fingers, tap their toes and gleefully sing along.

THEATRE: TWELVE ANGRY MEN 7:30 pm (Feb. 12-14, 18-21, 25-28); 2 pm (Feb. 1415, 21-22, 28-Mar. 1) @ Veterans Studio Theatre See how one man makes 11 others see the corruption in the world and in the system, on stage! Go to www.webercenterfortheperformingarts.org for ticket prices.

EXERCISE & OUTDOORS: IT’S SNOW FUN 10 am @ Hixon Forest Enjoy a day full of winter sports, including snowshoeing, hiking and cross-country skiing. Anyone is welcome and there is a gift bag when you finish! Don’t miss out on the hot cocoa either!

FEBRUARY 13

EXERCISE & OUTDOORS: JUSTIN TRAILS WINTER RACE 10 am-2 pm @ Justin Trails Resort All ages are welcome to compete in the three events: fatbike, archery and snowshoeing. $35 for adults, and those under 18 are free!

MUSIC: RAJ MONTAGE 7 pm @ Trempealeau Hotel The undercurrent is Roots Americana with musical influences of Blues, Rock, Folk, Ragtime and Old Country.

MUSIC: PIGTOWN FLING STRING BAND 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note!

FEBRUARY 14

FOOD & DRINKS: 16TH ANNUAL PEARL STREET BREWERY WINTER BALL 2-10 pm @ Pearl Street Brewery Come dance the night away while listening to some great music, and enjoy some amazing food to go with the five beers that will be released during the ball. Tickets are $20 pre-sale, $30 at door; VIP tickets are $50 and limited.

MUSIC: CHARLIE PARR XOXOXO 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note!

MUSIC: T BRUCE BOWERS & RIC GILLMAN 8 pm @ Trempealeau Hotel As an extra special treat we bring you Emmynominated violinist extraordinaire T Bruce Bowers and 12-string afficionado Ric Gillman. These

FEBRUARY 17

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

SPORTS: UW-L WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN-EAU CLAIRE 7 pm @ Mitchell Hall. WORKSHOPS: YOUR CREDIT SCORE - IT’S WORTH KNOWING

6:30-7:30 pm @ The Ward Room, Cartwright Center.

FEBRUARY 18

SPORTS: VITERBO MEN’S BASKETBALL VS. SAINT AMBROSE UNIVERSITY 6 pm @ Varsity Athletics Center (VAC).

SPORTS: UW-L WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN-PLATTEVILLE 7 pm @ Mitchell Hall.

FEBRUARY 25

SPORTS: VITERBO WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. CLARKE UNIVERSITY 5:30 pm @ Varsity Athletics Center (VAC).

FEBRUARY 26

ONGOING IN FEBRUARY ENTERTAINMENT: MONDAY NIGHTS AT THE MOVIES

WORKSHOPS: TAX INFORMATION WORKSHOP 6:30-7:30 pm @ Reuter Hall, 1st Floor.

SPORTS: VITERBO MEN’S BASKETBALL VS. CLARKE UNIVERSITY 7:30 pm @ Varsity Athletics Center (VAC).

MUSIC: NICK FOYTIK 7 pm @ Trempealeau Hotel What the Altoona native describes as “Northwoods Blues and Rock n’ Roll “ turns out to be a plethora of intoxicating, guitar-driven originals that showcase his talents both as a composer and a performer.

FEBRUARY 19

FEBRUARY 27

FEBRUARY 20

MARKET: FRIENDS OF THE LA CROSSE PUBLIC LIBRARY BOOK SALE 6-8 pm @ La Crosse Main Library The Friday night sale is for Friends only. Doors open at 5:30 pm for new memberships and renewals. There will be some great deals on hardcover and paperback books as well as audio books, DVDs, CDs and much more. Also, renew or get a membership while you are there too!

FOOD & DRINK: BRAIN FREEZE BONANZA 1-1:30 pm, North Library; 2-2:30 pm, South Library; 3:30-4 pm, Main Library Enjoy some ice cream and funny stories during this free event at the local libraries!

THEATRE: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN 7:30 pm @ UW-L Toland Theatre, Center for the Arts Watch as Frank W. Abagnale Jr. turns his life upside down as he lies and cheats his way to the top. The real question is, will he get caught?

EXERCISE & OUTDOORS: BRYAN KEST POWER YOGA MASTER CLASS AND WORKSHOP 6-9 pm @ Root Down Yoga Studio Experience an unforgettable practice with one of Western yoga’s most celebrated pioneers. This 3-hour master class will include an opening discussion followed by a challenging, yet approachable, yoga practice - all levels are welcome! MUSIC: LAST REVEL W/ BIG LIQUOR 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note!

FEBRUARY 21

ARTS: OLD SCHOOL VARIETY SHOW 8 pm @ The Pump House Love is in the air as the Variety Show returns and the show is as sweet and unforgettable as it was in December. Make sure you don’t miss out! Tickets can be purchased at www.thepumphouse.org. ARTS: BARD-A-THON 6 pm @ The Muse Theatre (until Feb. 28) The Bard-a-thon is a nonstop, free group reading of the “Complete Works of Shakespeare,” including the sonnets, which begins on Feb. 21 and does not end until the final sentence of prose is uttered on Feb. 28. Anyone is welcome to stop in and read!

MUSIC: FAREWELL MILWAUKEE AND JAYBONE BELL AND THE RESTLESS LIGHT 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note!

FEBRUARY 28

LIFELONG LEARNING: MONDAY MORNINGS @ MAIN

9:30-10:30 am @ La Crosse Main Library For those 50 and better, come and enjoy a free series and some refreshments to start your day. FEBRUARY 2 - GRUMPY OLD MEN MUSIC FEBRUARY 9 - CAREGIVERS Presented by La Crosse County staff FEBRUARY 16 - MUSICAL VALENTINE Presented by Karl Friedline FEBRUARY 23 - NATIVE AMERICAN ART OF THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST Presented by Dr. Cam Roberts

SPORTS: VITERBO WOMEN’S BASKETBALL VS. SAINT AMBROSE UNIVERSITY 4 pm @ Varsity Athletics Center (VAC).

SERVICE: AARP TAX ASSISTANCE STARTS 9 am-4 pm, Tuesdays - Thursdays @ La Crosse Main Library AARP volunteers will be preparing federal, state and homestead returns for middle and low-income taxpayers with special attention given to people age 60 and older. This is a free service. Everyone will be required to make an appointment. The appointment desk is staffed from 9 am-4 pm from Monday through Friday weekly until April 14, 2015. Appointments may be scheduled by calling 608-789-7443. RSVP and library volunteers will be staffing the phone lines.

MARKET: FRIENDS OF THE LA CROSSE PUBLIC LIBRARY BOOK SALE 9 am - 1 pm @ La Crosse Main Library There will be some great deals on hardcover and paperback books as well as audio books, DVDs, CDs and much more. Half-price in the Bookshop upstairs on Saturday! Also, renew or get a membership while you are there too!

If you’re looking for an opportunity to dust off that black suit or cocktail dress, local band TUGG is ready to get fancy with you! They’re hosting their first annual “Valentine’s Day Black Tie Ball” Saturday, Feb 14, at Leo & Leona’s Dancehall, located on Highway 33 just outside of La Crosse. Free beer and food appetizers to anyone ready to party in formal wear! Doors open at 6:30 pm, music starts at 8:30 pm with WheelHouse, an energetic string band from Madison, Wis. Tickets are $15 in advance and are available to purchase from Tree-Huggers Co-op (312 4th Street South), Grounded Specialty Coffee (308 Main Street), and Leo & Leona’s (W1436 Wisconsin 33). For more information about the event, you can visit www.tuggmusic.com. \

MUSIC: HI-MATICS 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note! MUSIC: LEE BRICE & CHRIS YOUNG WITH THE BROTHERS OSBORNE 7:30 pm @ The La Crosse Center Reserved tickets are $28 or $38, general admission pit tickets are $48.

6:30-8:30 pm, Wednesdays @ La Crosse Main Library An entertaining, informative, and provocative theme-based film series that includes valueadded content such as information about the film’s principals (actors, director, etc.), other recommended films, related library resources, basic film study analysis, and discussion at each screening. Free popcorn provided!

LOCAL REGGAE-ROCKERS INVITE YOU TO GET DRESSED UP ON VALENTINE’S DAY

MUSIC: SEA SAW 8 pm @ The Root Note Enjoy music, a warm drink and good times at the Root Note!

MUSIC: THE MAYER BROTHERS GROUP WITH OPENING ACT DAVID HOLWEGER 8 pm @ Trempealeau Hotel Holweger, from Hatton, North Dakota, has folk and bluegrass engrained in his musical heart. The Mayers are not only veterans of the La Crosse music scene, they’ve also performed all over the nation. Their guitar playing is equally as harmonized as their singing, and their musical predilection drifts from reggae to rock to folk and back, covering the greats and throwing in quite a few originals for good measure.

6-8 pm @ La Crosse Main Library FEBRUARY 2 - TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE (2012) Rated PG-13 Starring Clint Eastwood, Amy Adams and John Goodman FEBRUARY 9 - ACROSS THE UNIVERSE (2007) RATED PG-13 Starring Jim Sturgess, Evan Rachel Wood and Joe Anderson FEBRUARY 16 - LOVE PUNCH (2013) RATED PG-13 Starring Pierce Brosnan, Emma Thompson and Timothy Spall FEBRUARY 23 - ROCKETEER (1991) Rated PG Starring Billy Campbell, Jennifer Connelly and Alan Arkin

ENTERTAINMENT: FILMFREAKS - OSCAR BEST PICTURE WINNER SERIES

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EXERCISE & OUTDOORS: WISCONSIN BIKE FED BIKE SWAP 10 am-2 pm @ Logan Middle School Thousands of new and used bikes, parts, tools, accessories and clothing at pennies on the dollar. $3 entry. $30/48 Sq. ft, $60/100 Sq. ft, $5 bike corral.

OPEN HOUSE! March 14th, 21st 2015

…but wait, there’s more! Visit Klutch online for more articles and super awesome stuff.

klutchchronicle.com Pancake Breakfast with free wagon ride and tour! All proceeds go to Westby and Viroqua FFA KlutchChronicle.com \\ February, 2015

from a New Angle.

flip side

Information I have been in a happy relationship with my boyfriend for almost a year. We live together and love each other very much. We communicate very well, share household responsibilities just fine, blah blah blah…we have a great relationship…you get the point. I’m writing you because my boyfriend’s parents care that we’re gay. They say it’s “my fault” that he’s “acting like this”. He’s had a couple other boyfriends but I’m the first one he told them about…because we’re committed and we’re in this for the long haul. We’ve even talked about marriage. I show him I love him every day, have a great job, am an active community member, and all the other things a parent could want in a spouse for their child. Sincerely, Just Want to Be a Part of the Family Just Want to be a Part of the Family, First, I want to say that there will be a day where struggles like this will be a thing of the past and a person’s sexuality will not be up for social scrutiny, but instead widely accepted as a cultural normality. For now, there will inevitably be some people that we just can’t convince to see us all as equal and same human beings. You and your partner are so lucky. Many people in this world, of various sexual orientations, will never find the love that you share. My first piece of advice is to focus more energy on that than anything else. Relationships are hard work even when everyone gets along. You two have love and are sharing life together; be thankful for this beautiful thing life has given you both. As for the other family members that may not be as happy for you both as they should be: Give them the only things you can, which are love and time. I would suggest hosting more dinners or holidays at your house, inviting everyone. Make sure they all know how happy you both are and how much you want to share that with them. However, be ready and accepting if they do not respond the way you would like at first. Just never stop trying; it will benefit you both in the long run. Time is a great healer, but it’s always important to remember that healing has multiple options. There are different ways this can turn out and be okay as long as everyone just continues to show love to each other, even when it’s difficult. Be patient. My final piece of advice is that you should always utilize all possible resources when finding positive solutions to difficult and sensitive problems. If you live in or near the La Crosse or Winona area, a great resource is the 7 Rivers LQBTQ Resource Center, which can be found at http://www.7riverslgbtq.org or by calling 608-784-0452. Above all else, stay happy and stay healthy. Liv

Need Advice?

on the

Dear Liv,

TERMS WITH COMPLIMEN O T G N I TS OM By: Briana Rupel

knew I’d returned home from my first year of college standing a little taller and with a newfound glowing confidence, because after only a couple days back scanning groceries in the checkout line, this formerly shy, sometimes still-introverted girl got asked out by a cutie over in produce.

ging voice: “Why do you say ‘that’s funny’ after every time you laugh?! You’re laughing! We already know you think it’s funny!” (True story.) It was like that. Except once I became aware of my own penchant for shooting down compliments more expertly than the clay pigeons in Duck Hunt, I noticed everyone else unconsciously doing it too. And it bugged me.

After a few dates (okay, more like “group hang-outs” with “adult beverages” around a bonfire), Produce, as I like to call him now, was picking me up in my mom’s driveway with golf clubs in the trunk. I tried to curb my nervousness by playing out a romanticized scenario in my head: He’d stand behind me, run his hands down my sun-tanned arms, wrap his fingers around mine, and in expert form we’d send that ball sailing into a perfect arc through the sky.

Before we continue, I want to be clear that the compliments I’m talking about are the ones that come from a genuine place. The kind words people nudge your way because they truly mean them and not because they have something to gain ... like getting into your jeans with the pretty pockets, or even worse: because the giver wants an ego boost in return. Stay away from fishermen unless you’re on your favorite body of water.

Except what really happened is that somewhere around the eighth hole, I was finally able to tap that thing off the tee without swinging and missing a million times first. The little sucker caught about as much air as the length of my dorm room futon and then skipped sideways and hid in some tall grass.

I ripped a quote out of a magazine a long time ago; it’s now hanging inside my bathroom vanity. I end up reading it every time I brush my teeth: “If it will brighten someone’s day, SAY IT!” So if the stranger who sits next to me on the bus is wearing some rockin’ boots, I’m going to tell her. Why not?

“Hey, nice job!” said Produce in earnest. I knew he was happy to see me hit the ball. “Aw, whatever,” I shrugged, embarrassed. I was ready to jump in the cart and head back to the clubhouse, where hopefully my fake ID would allow me to drown my sorrows in something delightfully boozy. I mean, fruity. He cocked his head at me. “You know what,” he said through squinted eyes. “You don’t know how to take a compliment.” “What?” I shot back. “Of course I do!” “No,” he said calmly, “you don’t. Every nice thing I say to you, you find a way to shoot it down.” I slinked into the passenger side (regretfully!) of the cart. He tossed his club into his bag, and it clanged with annoyance. “All you have to say is ‘thank you,’ you know.” I thought back to the times he told me I looked pretty or told me how funny I was. I would never say it out loud, but he was right: I negated every one of those. Here I was, a young woman old enough to vote for president, and I was learning what would come to be one of my biggest eye-opening lessons while playing a sport I sucked at, from some guy who could rattle off all the four-digit codes on your fruits and veggies. I thought I had all this swagger, but I wasn’t even comfortable accepting a compliment. Clearly I had a lot of practice to do, and not just on my golf game. You know when someone calls you out on one of your quirks that’s so habitual, you don’t even know you do it? Then every. time. after that moment, you hear that person’s nag-

Email Liv at info@muellermediacorp.com and skip that $250 therapy session.

February, 2015 // KlutchChronicle.com

Unfortunately, a compliment on a friend’s hair is often met with a scoff: “Ugh, whatever! I didn’t even wash it today; it’s gross!” Or you tell a woman her dress looks great on her and she responds with: “Oh, this thing? I got it on clearance, it’s nothing special.” One of my friends and I recently had a picture taken together. We smashed our heads together to look at the small screen. “Ah!” I squealed. “You look hot!” She scrunched up her nose. “Yuck,” she whined, “my face looks fat.” We all, women and men, have different reasons for why we automatically tear down compliments. The most obvious reason, of course, is lack of self-esteem. But I think another reason has to do with our emphasis on modesty, especially with women. There is a time and a place for humility, but I think we’re afraid that to acknowledge a compliment is to say, “Yeah, you’re right, I am awesome!” Women know the girl everyone loves to hate is the one who thinks she’s all that, and guys know there’s a fine line between confident and cocky. But there’s nothing boastful about accepting a compliment; it’s gracious. Plus, when you deny someone’s compliment, not only are you doing yourself a disservice, you’re effectively telling the other person their judgment sucks; that they don’t know what they’re talking about. So the next time someone says something nice to you, try this: Pause before you let old habits come tumbling out of your mouth. Let the good stuff soak in. They said it to make you feel good, so let yourself feel good! Remember, all you have to say is ‘thank you.’ Briana Rupel thinks we all need more positive reinforcement in our lives. She would tell you she also needs positive reinforcement ... mostly on her golf game.

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