photo: peter mooij
michele de bellis
Listening with understanding and empathy Show your students this important Habit of Mind
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Teachers Matter
ecently, I moved into a new home and my mom passed down a family heirloom – a wooden plaque that had hung in my childhood home for many, many years known as “the recipe for a happy home.”
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It reads: Begin with a full cup of friendship-Add two cups of thoughtfulness. Cream with a pinch of gentleness and a dash of powdered kindness. Beat well with a level spoon of hope, lots of temperance and a sprinkling of humility. Add several spoons of laughter and play. Blend gently with love in a bowl of loyalty …season with gratitude and stir constantly with enthusiasm… This recipe gets better with age- but should be served often. (Anonymous) These attributes begin to describe the essence of the Habit of Mind (HOM), “Listening w i t h U n d e r s t a n d i n g a n d E m p a t h y. ” Thoughtfulness, gentleness, humility, loyalty and hopefulness are a few of the attributes that describe characteristics of a person who is paying attention to another
with empathy and understanding. When we live out this HOM, we are selfless in the interaction and fully attending to another. “Listening with Understanding and Empathy” requires trust; trust in self and others and trust the intention of the interaction. Trust evolves over time and is impacted by the quality of our interactions with others. It is never too early to begin teaching children to “Listen with Understanding and Empathy.” For example: teaching children to look others in the eye as they speak or modeling for children how to express emotions they are feeling. Consider a few tips to try out in your classroom: • Read books with rich characters and encourage kids to name the emotions and actions. • Create a Word Wall in the classroom. Build lists of emotion words and
encourage students to use these words in their writing and conversation. • Have students create a service club that provides them with opportunities to identify needs in their school community so they can experience firsthand understanding and empathy. • Collect pictures of students or magazine photos and make a game like Concentration, matching the emotion word/action and photo. Each time I walk into my kitchen, I smile as my eyes are drawn to the wooden plaque. I have learned happiness comes from serving and giving to others, understanding their needs and striving to understand and empathize. If you were to create a recipe for “Listening with Understanding and Empathy,” what might your essential ingredients be? Create your own specialty and share it with a friend.
