W E L L B E I N G
No Way Out But Through By Allison Saltzman, LPC
W
e find ourselves in a situation that is unprecedented in our lifetimes. There is no way around the coronavirus. We all have to deal with it. There is no way out but through. We are being nudged to change how we individually and collectively deal with outer events and our internal processing of those events. The medical professionals have to treat the sick. Those who have become sick have had to fight for their health. The essential personnel have to uphold the basic structure of our society. The rest of us have to stay home. Regardless of our position during this time, fear is often a factor during times of transition. Fear and worry are infectious, infiltrating our consciousness. It takes over, stimulating negative habits in our thinking, emotions, and actions. This cripples our ability to respond effectively to life’s challenges. When we have no way out of something, it forces us to face parts of ourselves that we are usually able to avoid. Our “stuff” is as varied as our histories are. Our “stuff“ is our pain. Many are afraid of the uncertainty this has brought to our planet, our future, and how this will affect our individual lives. We do not know what is on the other side of this coronavirus crisis. In these moments where “life as we know it” is no more, it makes us stop doing what we always do. I believe we have something to learn from this collective experience. The first place to start is, “What do I have to learn from this experience?” Wherever you are struggling right now, that is the guidepost to where the learning is for you. Perhaps there is a part that is afraid to be alone, or afraid to get sick, or afraid of death. Perhaps there is a part that is scared to not have enough, not do enough, not be enough.
22
Perhaps there is a part that is terrified of uncertainty and cannot trust that life will work this out somehow, that “this too shall pass.” Most of us have strong patterns of worry and fear. It is important to realize that most of what we fear or worry about, we have very little control over. It may be difficult to believe that we actually do have control over our thoughts. It is possible to stop worry and fear, by no longer feeding it. Try going 5 minutes without worry. Just dismiss any worry that appears for a short period of time. You will quickly see that it is possible to not worry. It is inevitable to be affected by what happens in our world, to our bodies, to the people we care about. Worry and fear do not have to be the predominant experience. Getting rid of worry and fear do not happen overnight. It takes practice and commitment. Our fears can be disempowered. New, loving patterns of thought can be empowered: “I love and approve of myself no matter what.” “No matter what happens, I do the best I can.” “I respond to life’s challenges the best way I know how, trusting that new solutions will present themselves to me.” Miranda MacPherson is an author and speaker who teaches a practice called ego-relaxation. I find myself going back to this teaching as a basic self-care tactic right now. She defines the ego as the part of us that sees itself as separate. Miranda explains ego relaxation as “a softening, a melting, an allowing…allowing a letting go.” She warns that the way is ego relaxation, not ego annihilation. We do not have to cut out parts of ourselves that are scared, angry, or insecure. She says, “The one who is trying to become enlightened is the very one being asked to surrender the reins of control.” Surrender is quite a challenge sometimes. 337M A GA ZIN E.C OM
V O L U ME 6 I S S U E 2
