Conflict Happens

Do You Choose Productive or Destructive Conflict?

By Kimberly Guillot Thibeaux

If you are around other human beings, you have partaken in some sort of conflict. Now, because there is a negative stigma of conflict, many pride themselves in, “We don’t have conflict.” On the contrary, conflict is healthy! This negative stigma arose from the bright light that has been shown on destructive conflict.

Destructive conflict comes up a lot in movies, social media, etc. because people have caught on that drama sells. On the flip side, in everyday life, conflict happens many times because a person wants to be heard and understood. The opposite person in the conflict does not have to agree on the subject matter to be fulfilled in productive conflict.

So, what is productive versus destructive conflict? An example of productive conflict is to talk it out while wholeheartedly hearing each other out and not merely listening, waiting to spit out your answer. Sometimes it may seem like the conflict has no cause, and the desire to lash out at each other is increased; this can be destructive if there is no resolution. Resolution being, meeting each other in the middle or hearing each other out and then agreeing to disagree.

Lastly, there is magic in silence during conflict, this gives both parties the ability to reflect internally. The after effects of productive conflict facilitates action in comparison to reaction, which many times can end in heartache. Communication is a freestyle dance— express each step organically, without preconceived thought.