April 9 – 15, 2015 34st.com
DOWNTOWN
FUNK
HEARING COLORS + LOWBROW DOES MUSIC + AXO SPEAKS OUT
april 9 LOL
2015
3 HIGHBROW
off-campus names, roundup, overheards
4 WORD ON THE STREET OAX
5 EGO
dean ferpa
7 MUSIC LOL
LOL
gcal dat shit
10 FEATURE
see and be scene
12 FILM LOL
scary movies
14 FOOD & DRINK
uncommon opinions
LOL
LOL
16 ARTS vp grafitti
18 LOWBROW
this is not the music section
20 BACKPAGE perf penn profs
LETTERTOTHEEDITOR
Last week's feature, "College Interrupted: When You Lose a Parent", prompted others to share their stories. Read another student's experience at 34st.com.
I
just wanted to thank Amanda Suarez for her Losing a Parent [“College Interrupted: When You Lose a Parent” from 04/02/15] article. On Sunday February 1st, my dad called me at 9am to let me know my mom wasn’t feeling up to cooking dinner that night so to not worry about coming up to North Philly to have my birthday dinner. It would be next Sunday, but did I want to talk to her? I said sure. She said sorry she wasn’t feeling too well today, she had a stomach bug and that she would put the roast beef in the freezer for next week. Also that she made me meatballs with the rice in them like grandmom used to make, which my mom hated and wouldn’t usually make a separate batch just for me. She was also having a bit of a potassium problem and was going to go to Quest to get a routine blood test to check her levels like she had been for years. Love you, bye. Then after sleeping for another hour, I went to Commons to eat lunch with my boyfriend and our friend. My dad calls me, and the usual pranky
comments spew out around me, “Oh yeah and don’t forget we’re sharing heroin needles later.—yeah drugs and cocaine and—” Okay sure, dad, I’ll go to a quiet place. I get it. Mom died at 12:34 pm. I had never truly understood the term “blood–curdling–scream” before. She passed out in bed shortly after I got off the phone with her. The paramedics resuscitated her in bed and got her to the hospital, but she died there shortly after. I’m glad I know the employees at Commons because they were able to get my boyfriend for me. I went back to our room and cried, and he calmed me down. My New Year’s resolution had been to get my work done early and do all of my readings, and I had been for the most part successful, but then I took a week off of school and was going to a funeral and greeting my mom’s old friends and listening to recordings of her singing. I wouldn’t have been able to get through it all without my advisor in the College Office, K. Glanzer, who
helped me so, so much during my breakdown freshman year, and all of the support I received from my professors, meeting before class with me, extending deadlines and telling me that my health is most important and not to worry about taking time to care for myself. I resonated with the guilty feeling Pat Zancolli described [in "College Interrupted"]. This guilt was first of grieving and breaking my promise to myself to keep on top of schoolwork, the next week it was of getting back into the swing of things and feeling like I had to constantly remind myself that my mom was in fact dead. Seeing my therapist helped me a lot. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do; I had no procedure for “when your mom dies.” I’d never experienced life without her. And what of my dad? He had two weeks off of work, but that’s not nearly enough time to mourn a companion of 26 years. I didn’t know how I was supposed to feel—and I learned that it’s something you just have to let happen, acknowledge it and try to continue on. TAYLOR CAMPBELL, C'16
SABS: TO SEE AND BE STREET. 34ST.COM
34TH STREET MAGAZINE Alexandra Sternlicht, Editor–in–Chief Marley Coyne, Managing Editor Ariela Osuna, Digital Director Ling Zhou, Design Editor Byrne Fahey, Design Editor Corey Fader, Photo Editor Galit Krifcher, Assistant Design Holly Li, Assistant Design Amy Chen, Assistant Photo Conor Cook, Highbrow Elie Sokoloff, Highbrow Katie Hartman, Word on the Street Randi Kramer, Ego Casey Quackenbush, Ego Natasha Doherty, Food and Drink 2
3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
Ryan Zahalka, Food and Drink Cassandra Kyriazis, Film and TV Orly Greenberg, Film and TV Clare Lombardo, Features Amanda Suarez, Features Caroline Marques, Music Amanda Silberling, Music Justin Sheen, Arts Molly Collett, Arts Rosa Escandon, Lowbrow Mikaela Gilbert–Lurie, Lowbrow Kimberly Lu, Backpage Mark Paraskevas, Copy Editor Sarah Fox, Copy Editor Pat Goodridge, Copy Editor
Mark Paraskevas, Marketing Director Giulia Imholte, Social Media Editor Rachel Rubin, Digital Designer Kyle Bryce-Borthwick, Video Editor Alex Cohn, Web Producer Mara Veitch, Web Producer
Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Alexandar Sternlicht, Editor–in–Chief, at sternlicht@34st.com. You can also call us at (215) 8986585. To place an ad, call (215) 898-6581.
COVER PHOTO: BACKPAGE DESIGN: Holly Li
©2015 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Thursday.
Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader and Amy Chen.
Contributors:
Spencer Winston,
www.34st.com "IT'S A MENSTRUATION SENSATION!"
HIGHBROW
Highbrow officially proclaims going off–campus is trendy. To have a successful transition, it’s all about re–branding. Highbrow put our Wharton classes into good use created some new off–campus names for a few frats and sororities.
Ox Society—
OAK—Their
"Theta"
Greek letters reversed, duh.
"Tau Epsilon Phi"
TeePee— Hopefully they have Charmin at the tee-pee house.
"Chi Omega"
Phoenix—
"Alpha Phi"
Kings—
"Castle"
Even without the Castle, you can still be royalty.
"Pike"
Triumvirate—
"Delta Delta Delta"
Forget Greek life and embrace Ancient Rome.
THEROUNDUP It’s that time of year again—when it’s not 70 degrees and sunny, it’s 40 and raining. College tours are in full force, so good luck walking to class without hitting an Asian tourist taking a photo of the Love Statue with a selfie stick. Soon enough, our days will be filled with cornholes and our cornholes will be filled with selfie sticks. First things first: let’s get the old news out of the way. AXO is going off–campus blah blah blah. Anyway, shit went down at Smokes' this weekend. A little bird told us that a small, small boy tried to fight a football–player/Neanderthal. After the two got into a verbal argument, Dopey the Dwarf chucked beer across the bar, effectively soaking everyone around him. The tiny man
they'll love you like XO, you'll love them like OX.
We all know these ladies are burning up from "Alpha Phiver". Spike— Attention Whartonites, this is not where you go to book a GSR.
SKY— It
"Sigma Chi"
repeated to his friends, “Hold me back! I’m going at him!” while his friends looked on in amusement but refused to engage. Finally, angry elf and the 6’7” Viking successfully avoided a fight and resolved their (height) differences. Moral of this fairytale: pick on someone your own size. Penn’s hottest club? PiKapp. They have everything: brews, bros and brawls. It seems that PiKapp had to cap their party this past weekend. “Do you know a brother?”—apparently, even if you do, this might not be enough to gain access into their exclusive parties. When a group of A’s boys were denied entry to PiKapp, they became enraged. This rage spurred a blood bath, which was ultimately broken up before any real damage could be done. Didn’t you know that Quakers are pacifists? We hope this doesn’t escalate into a full–
can only go up from here.
over heard PENN at
Boy walking on Pine: Bro, you’re the king of stimulants. Sophomore with Longchamp bag: You better be careful about what you drink. You get aggressive when you’re blackout. Guy who works at Sweetgreen: That’s why I work here—because I have the freedom to be myself. Preppy fuckboy in Houston: Every time I would actually be able to ski in the Alps, it’s, like, vacation time. So it's filth—all of France is there! Soon to be teen mom: I would rather have a child than walk to Student Health for Plan B.
blown war (of the roses). You can try to mask yourself, but when the curtain is pulled back, all will be revealed. Highbrow hears a few party–goers were feeling extra generous at a Masquerade–themed charity event last week. Aroused by the anonymity the evening afforded them, a duo snuck off for an impromptu rendezvous. In other words, they fucked each other behind a curtain at the venue. One suspicious attendee pulled the curtain aside—only to find the lovers mid–coitus. They might have been backstage, but their performance upstaged the event.
The Round Up is a gossip column and the stories are gathered though tips and word of mouth. Although we verify all the information in the Round Up with multiple sources, the column should be regarded as campus buzz and not as fact.
A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
3
WORD ON THE STREET
word on the STREET
GROWING OUT OF GREEK LIFE FORMER MEMBERS OF ALPHA CHI OMEGA
As former members of AXO, we're grateful for our greek beginning and committed our independent future. This week, members of the Alpha Chi Omega (AXO) Alpha Epsilon Chapter at the University of Pennsylvania decided to disassociate themselves from the Greek system with the intentions of forming a new, unaffiliated philanthropic organization. While Alpha Chi Omega will continue to exist on Penn’s campus, a majority of the current members will no longer be affiliated. The motives behind our decision to disaffiliate are predominantly rooted in maintaining the structure of our philanthropy as well as our hope to thrive in a setting that the current Greek environment on campus does not support. We had considered removing ourselves from Greek life in past years due to our dissatisfaction with some aspects of the structure and the inherent inequality of the system. Sororities are not permitted to host on–campus parties like fraternities, in addition to being pigeon–holed into a tightly scheduled and regulated recruitment process while fraternities are given the flexibility and freedom to create their own system. These are examples of structural sexism in the Greek community. Despite many of our initial apprehensions to joining Greek life, we found a home amongst the vibrant, driven, and welcoming individuals that make up the sisterhood of 3906 Spruce Street, which made the oppressive aspects of Greek life easier to overlook. In addition, this fall we were told that, with its current structure, we would never again be allowed to host our annual philanthropy event, Big Man On Campus (BMOC), that raises over $18,000 for Philadelphia’s only emergency women’s shelter. However, other campus organizations, both Greek and non-Greek, continue to hold events extremely similar to ours without being challenged. By disbanding our Greek membership, we intend to host this event and support the women’s shelter to the successful extent that we had as AXO members in the past.
More recently, six days after welcoming our new pledge class in January 2015, we began cooperating in an investigation conducted by the university against our organization. This process was inefficient, prolonged, and incredibly damaging to our organization’s morale. The document that we received, months later, with our suggested punishments stated that we were found guilty of alcohol possession and consumption at a sorority event. While we acknowledge and apologize for violating the University and AXO national policies on alcohol. the punishments we received were equal in severity to punishments received by organizations who were found guilty of far worse crimes, such as hazing. More importantly, the sanctions outlined a future for our organization that would significantly damage the strong and incredible bonds we've all established. VPUL’s website page on Greek life promises that “fraternities and sororities offer leadership opportunities that can challenge and prepare you for whatever your future holds.” We are incredibly grateful to the University and our former national organization for the support they have given us in the past by initially bringing us together and laying the foundation for our future friendships. It's because of the strong bonds we have already formed with one another that we are confident that we will continue to strengthen our sisterhood outside of the Greek system and use our shared passion for philanthropy to continue raising money and awareness for domestic violence. We hope that the Penn community continues to support us as the female leaders that have always existed beneath the letters that we no longer wear. Sincerely, Former Members of Alpha Chi Omega
STREET'S OFF CAMPUS, TOO. RUSH OUR WRITER'S MEETING. TONIGHT. 4015 'NUT. 6:30PM. 4
3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
EGO
EGOOF THE WEEK: ROHAN MALHOTRA
Tall, dark and (Ro)handsome—just how we like it. Catch our EOTW tearing up the dance floor or dreaming of basketball stardom, but you'll never catch him wearing jeans.
From: Andover, MA Age: 21 Activities: Penn Dhamaka, Chair; Oracle Senior Honor Society, Seer (President); Osiris Senior Society, Member; The Social Impact Consulting Group, Consultant; Fisher Hassenfeld College House, Resident Adviser (Junior year); The Jerome Fisher Program in Management & Technology Major: M&T—Management (Entrepreneurship/Innovation) & Computer Science
Street: Be honest, how many girls have you picked up from being in Penn Dhamaka? Rohan Malhotra: I got picked up quite early, actually—freshman year. So I guess one girl, and it’s lasted.
just has Ro and then blank. RM: I tell people I get cofRoHannah Montana. RoHand fee, but I really get venti Job. white chocolate mochas with whipped cream. It’s so good! Street: Tell us something we don’t know about Oracle. Street: What’s your favorite RM: We have four Fulbright– word? ers this year. RM: Luxurious. Street: What’s your favorite book? RM: Larry Bird’s Drive, his autobiography. I’m a huge Celtics fan. I would listen to whatever he told me to do. Street: Do you play basketball? RM: I play basketball with my friends. But if you look at me, I’m definitely not very good at basketball. Street: Fill in the blank: There are two kinds of people at Penn. RM: Those who eat chicken and rice at 38th and Spruce and those who eat it at 38th and Walnut.
Street: Tell us something we don’t know about Dhamaka. RM: As much as we’re all guys and can be really bro–y a lot of the time, we’re much more divas than people would think. A lot more drama than you Street: What does that mean? would expect. RM: The food trucks. The food truck at 38th and Walnut has Street: What inspires your a huge line all the time. Their choreography? chicken and rice is really good. RM: For me, every dance I’ve And there’s one at 38th and choreo–ed, there’s usually some Spruce, and people battle over plot or thematic element to it. the two. So it’s just like trying to tell a story. Street: Describe yourself in three words. Street: If Dhamaka had a RM: Can Ralph Lauren be one mascot, who or what would word? RalphLauren. Dhamaka. it be? Douchebag. RM: Something super energetic and happy. Flubber? That’s Street: Why'do you describe the thing that bounces everyyourself as a douchebag? where? Let’s go with Flubber. RM: I’m a closet douchebag. People tend to think I’m a really nice guy when they meet Street: What’s your nickme, but I judge everyone. name? RM: One of my friends gives Street: What’s your guilty me a nickname everyday. It pleasure?
Street: Who’s your favorite designer? RM: I’m slowly going towards Brooks Brothers. Street: So where did this prepster thing come from? RM: Andover, let’s be real.
Lima. I’d kill jeans. I hate jeans. Street: What was your first AIM screen name. RM: AirLebron95. Street: Do you fantasize about joining the NBA? RM: I played a lot of NBA basketball games. Sports were never a realistic dream with two Indian parents.
Street: If you are what you eat, what would you be? RM: An M&M McFlurry. Street: What’s your spirit animal? RM: A white tiger. I’m pretty white for an Indian. And white tigers are pretty white for tigers. Street: What do you love This interview has been most about Penn? edited and condensed. RM: There are so many options that you can take advantage of. I feel like I’ve invested so much more in the extracurriculars than I did in academics. I don’t know how I feel about that. The real thing to take away is getting really close to people through these things you’re passionate about. Street: What do you hate most about Penn? RM: This culture of: I need to get a job and show off my accolades as soon as possible. It’s really shitty for some people. Street: Reverse KFM. You give us your own options. RM: I’d marry Emma Watson. I’d fuck Adriana A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
5
EGO
STREET INVESTIGATES:
WHAT DEAN FERPA THINKS ABOUT YOU
Early this year, a group of Stanford students discovered that, through the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), college students have the right to see their admissions files. Street Edz checked out their files so that you don't have to look at yours. How the process works: • • •
You send an email to Admissions requesting to view your files. The Admissions Office emails you back within 45 days with a selection of appointments. You have 30 minutes to review your Common App and supplemental essays on two computer screens. You are not allowed to take pictures, and all questions must be directed to the admissions email address at a later time.
Casey Quackenbush: Ego Editor, C '17 Why did you sign up? Partially curiosity, partially wanting to have my ego stroked. What were you expecting? A massive manila folder on me complete with a background check and questionable photos of me on Facebook. What did you read? Anything juicy? Hardly. A lot of comments just summarized my essays and responses. One comment was redacted, which annoyed me. One comment described my curriculum as “fine.” This made me laugh. I was a high honors student for four years at a great school. And this just validated the notion that nothing is ever good enough when it comes to the college process.
Rosa Escadon: Lowbrow Editor, C '15 What did you read? Anything juicy? There are a lot of points and jargon I couldn't possibly understand. I was classified as “u–admin.” Which is unsure admission. I kind of had a crisis in that moment. They weren’t sure if they wanted me, but I'm here. The weirdest part—and this is mostly the fault of the application itself—is that you need to put a mother and father. My parents are lesbians, but the question is very gendered. I know who my father is, but there is not box for sperm donor and far less opportunity to write “I am part of a modern family.” So I had to check “father unknown," which personally felt weird and harsh and just wrong. I know who he is. He is great. But there was no box for that. When I read what they wrote, they said, having a single mother is a “concern.” For the record, I don’t have a single mother. But if I did, it's not 1955 and this really isn’t a concern. Overall feelings and take away? You're not going to have a revelation, but if you don’t go in with that mindset, it can be funny and interesting. Be ready to have some admissions workers hate you.
Overall feelings and take away? I was dissatisfied. Something felt missing. Then I realized it was the time that I wasted there.
Serving Philadelphia
for over
25
years!
City’s Most Popular Indian Buffet
15% off your Welcome Welcome total order!
CLASS OF OF CLASS For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941 Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp.
Exp. 4/11/12 ExpiresExp. 4/30/2015 2/23/12 *Closed Mondays*
2016
For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941
For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941
4004 Chestnut Street or Order Online @ newdelhiweb.com 6
3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp. Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp.
For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941
Mark Paraskevas: Marketing Director, C '17 What did you read? Anything juicy? The only info they wrote that I understood was that I was an “unclear admit,” which I think means they thought I was qualified but was still borderline in the applicant pool. It was scary to read that since things could’ve definitely gone the other way, and who knows where I’d be now. The other cool thing was getting to read my essays again. I wrote about my little brother, who has autism. He’s 7 now, and he was 5 when I applied. It was interesting reading my 16–year–old perspective on that and comparing it with where he’s at in his development—and where I’m at in mine—now. The comments said that my essay was “wonderful,” so maybe that’s what got me in.
Overall feelings and take away? I’m glad I did it. It was also really nice to put myself back in the shoes of high school senior Mark and remember what I was like then, and compare it to what I’m like now. I don’t think I talk about myself in the same way as I did. I’m not sure if that’s a product of being a Penn student for two years or if that’s just part of growing up.
CONCERT CALENDAR
MUSIC
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
With only a few weeks left in the semester, Music has got you covered on what best live shows to hit up. Whether you're a freshman finishing up your first year or a senior counting down your last days to rage, you should be excited to see who's coming to Philly during our only month of sunshine.
12
13
14
15
Thursday • • •
Saturday
10
Sufjan Stevens at the Academy of Music Bob Dylan in Atlantic City at the Borgata Event Center The Ting Tings at Union Transfer
16
11
Steve Aoki at Festival Pier at Penn's Landing
17
18
Kygo and Kesha at Franklin Field Because you know you'll somehow end up there anyway.
The Sonics at Theater of the Living Arts
19
Friday
20
21 Kodaline at the Theater of the Living Arts
• •
23
The Wombats at Union Transfer Madeon at the Trocadero Theatre
Both will make you feel like you're sixteen again.
30
Toro y Moi at Union Transfer Be cool. Go. Photo courtesy of: Tame Impala
24
Klingande at Union Transfer Why go to formal when you could go to this?
25
Smallpools at Union Transfer
MAY 1
Tyrone Wells at World Cafe Live
2
YOUR WEEK IN MUSIC This weekend, punk is taking over Penn at Pilam's 37th annual Human Barbecue.
WHAT TO SEE: •
Damien Rice is coming to the Academy of Music on Wednesday, the day after, April 8th. We vote this concert as the most ideal for a first date—if you like your dates bawling on your shoulders. And want to take us as your dates. Please?
WHAT TO LISTEN TO: •
•
What For, Toro y Moi’s newest album is now available for streaming. Did you read that last sentence? Get on that shit ASAP. Some jazz and some electric guitar. You’ll be the least miserable person in Van Prison with this new soundtrack. Sufjan Stevens is back with a heartbreaking album Carrie & Lowell, named after Stevens’ mother and stepfather, will remind you of when you cried yourself to sleep after watching his soundtrack for The OC. The album just came out and deserves a listen.
WHAT TO BRING UP IN CONVERSATION: •
•
Remember The Go! Team from years ago? Well, they haven’t released an album since you were a senior in high school. In anticipation for their newest album, they’ve been posting cool af music videos. The most recent one Reason Left to Destroy is hella creepy and appropriate if you want a late–night scare. Zayn Malik left something called One Direction. Get over yourself—you go to college now.
CREATIVE • BALANCED • SIMPLE 1608 SOUTH STREET • PHILADELPHIA, PA 215-790-0330 • ENTREEBYOB.COM A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
7
MUSIC
A WAIL AND A WHIMPER: TITLE FIGHT MEETS LA DISPUTE
Philadelphia loves Title Fight, and it's obvious that Title Fight loves us right back.
125 South 40th Street Philadelphia, PA 19104 (215) 921-9580 store
A spot by the stage seemed like an impossible option at Title Fight's packed Union Transfer, show as I push through the crowds. Just as the Hotelier finishes their set, the crowd of college students and twentysomethings advance towards the stage. As soon as Kingston, PA natives, Title Fight, step onstage,
the crowd roars. Title Fight is a band best seen live, and seeing them near their hometown creates a completely different experience. They start the set with the haunting “Murder Your Memory”, from their latest album, Hyperview. Title Fight's musical evolution is obvious in their performance—they don’t really write fast, gritty punk anymore. Fortunately, they still play old songs, and their new material, which is more shoegaze alternative than emo–with–an–anger–problem, is still great. It's clear that fans love the old stuff just as much as their recent work. When the band launches into “Shed,” the crowd jumps right onto their feet and into the air. This is how most of Title Fight’s set goes: when they play slower, newer songs, the crowd sings along and connects with the band’s emotion. When Title Fight plays an older cut, something fast and hard and with more bite, fans go absolutely nuts. During songs like “Symmetry” and “Secret Society,” drummer Ben Russin slammed away such an impressive rate that it’s a mystery how he has so much stamina. But what came next only intensified the electric energy. If you’ve never heard La Dispute, you should probably check them out before you head to a live show, or you might just go into shock. You just can’t be unprepared for their blend of post– hardcore, prog rock, emo and spoken word. The band opened with “King Park,” a fan favorite from 2011’s Wildlife about a shooting gone wrong. It’s a bold choice to not open with something from the record they’re touring for, but it worked. The energy in the crowd explodes through the roof. It’s clear that, especially live, vocalist Jordan Dreyer is a force to be reckoned with. He screams into his microphone, dramatically flailing as he belts the lyrics. And surprisingly, the energy in the crowd never falters. La Dispute are best known for their songwriting, and just about every single person in the room was screaming along the words to their. Fans share a pure, emotional investment in the lyrics. From start to finish, a La Dispute show is intense–their performance is intense, the crowd is intense, and most of all, La Dispute just writes really intense music. The encore ends up being the focal point of La Dispute’s set. It’s hard to tell what they will play in an encore, since the band has a wealth of material to pick from. There were some notable absences from the set, which included nothing from their debut record, 2008’s Somewhere at the Bottom of the River Between Vega and Altair. But this was an intentional choice, as the band decides to save it for the end, closing with “The Last Lost Continent,” which clocks in at a whopping twelve minutes and thirty seconds and deals with fighting depression. The entire middle of the floor turns into a mosh pit, with people crowd surfing left and right—the crowd lost their minds in the last few minutes with the band. As they left the stage, Jordan Dreyer muttered a quiet “thank you,” which seemed funny. The contrast between such a small statement and the hugeness of the band’s stage presence is monumental. The show ended with a bang, followed by a whimper, much like a La Dispute song itself.
RAQUEL BANKS
www.jakessandwichboard.com 8
3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
34TH STREET
Domino’s
™
ORDER ONLINE
Get your favorite pizza, oven-baked sandwiches, and cheesy bread at our two locations! 215-662-1400 4438 Chestnut St. Philadelphia, PA
215-557-0940 401 N. 21st St. Philadelphia, PA
Open Late, Deliver Late: Sun-Thur 10:30am-1am • Fri & Sat 10:30am-3am Any delivery charge is not a tip paid to your driver. Our drivers carry less than $20. You must ask for this limited time offer. Delivery Charges and Tax may apply. Prices, participation, delivery area and charges may vary. Returned checks, along with the state’s maximum allowable returned check fee may be electronically presented to your bank. © Domino’s IP Holder LLC. Domino’s Pizza ® and the modular logo are registered trademarks of Domino’s IP Holder LLC.
DM1414
A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E
9
EGO
in particular fraternities, can host Penn– exclusive parties on their terms. In the cover photo for an event on Facebook, a young woman arches her back, and opens her mouth. Champagne spills down her throat, froths over her bare shoulders, soaks her long hair. The insignia of an off–campus fraternity is stamped in the corner of the image, along with a time, date and name of a club downtown. You click 'join' on the Facebook event. You check who’s also attending: 76 friends, 347 people total. You scroll through the list. You accept invites for two other downtowns the same night. Or maybe you don’t. Downtowns can feel ubiquitous—a stream of Facebook invitations notifications and dimly lit, highly filtered Instagrams. The downtown isn’t about the club; it’s about the people you see there. Yet, the thousands of invitees aren’t always representative of those who show up, much less the Penn student body as a whole. The dividing line between those who do and don’t go to downtowns isn’t as simple as crossing the 30th Street Bridge, en route to Rumor or Roxxy in an UberXL. Downtowns provide a false escape, transporting the Penn bubble rather than bursting it. They provide a place where campus organizations, and
Photo: EE 1 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
*** To the average Whartonite or ECON–001 survivor, throwing a downtown seems simple. Take the adage ‘you need to spend money to make money’, and give it a twist. At an average downtown, breaking even is easy. Jared Levin, a College junior in Theos, estimates he could spend a couple hundred dollars on bottle service alone at a downtown. “It’s an image thing, but it’s fun,” he says. But he’s skeptical of a prevailing social desire to get a table at every event. “On your average Wednesday night, do you need it? Do you really need it? I guess some people need it,” he says with a shrug. The success of a downtown is contingent on people showing up. Groups that attract the most guests not only make the most money but also enjoy the perks of feeling socially relevant. In turn, attendees can revel in the opportunity to see and be seen—quantifying the night in Snapstories, Venmo exchanges and selfies with profile picture potential. Euro Penn, a social group revolving around European culture and pride, recently stopped hosting downtowns—a tradition the club started—due to a decline in interest and attendance. Victor Debenedetti, College senior and former president of the club, remembers the exact amount the group made at the last downtown they threw before the mora-
EGO
torium: $157. In previous years, when attendance was better, Euro Penn could make $1500 in a night, he ballparks, and a “really good downtown” could bring in significantly more. In past years, Victor saw organizing downtowns as an exercise in strategy. Members of Euro Penn would meet and ask, “Alright, who’s throwing this day?” he recalls. “And you’d try and pick your opponents.” Simon Benigeri, also a College senior in Euro Penn, sums the social politics up well: “People are going to be loyal. It’s not about who has the best party, it’s about where you should be.” Like any Penn student graded on a curve, the success of a downtown is relative. “Sometimes we would have really shitty downtowns,” Victor continues, “But I would hear ‘Yeah, Oz was even worse.’ And it would be like, ‘Yeah, okay, we still won.’”
*** Those interviewed for this piece disagree about the importance of downtowns and what the Penn social scene will look like in ten years. But, almost unanimously, they believe it’s changing. Greta Mavica, a College senior who banned downtowns during her time as Euro Penn social chair, believes the downtown scene “has outlived itself.” But others believe the problem permeates Penn’s social culture on a deeper level, inherently tied to the structure of Greek organizations. Rumors allege that almost every fraternity on Locust Walk has received cease and desist orders or been placed on probation, the next step in investigating infractions. People gossip about which sororities might follow in the footsteps
of AXO, who recently attempted to move off–campus. As a policy, the Office of Fraternity Sorority Life doesn’t comment on on– going investigations, according to Scott Reikofski, the director of OFSL, in an email. Going off–campus, whether to host events or form unaffiliated organizations, liberates Greek groups from Penn's oversight. A few interviewees mentioned a desire to meet with OFSL officials and discuss ways to make partying culture safer. And in an email, Reikofski wrote, “Downtowns are a viable and positive option for Greek chapters seeking to host social events with alcohol.” But Wharton junior and member of a fraternity, Arjan Singh, argues that if Penn Greek life continues to clash with the administration, the campus will either see more groups move off–campus or watch official fraternities and sororities disband altogether. “I think the social scene would be much more fragmented that way,” he says. “People would become more adventurous that way, but it comes at the expense of having a plan every weekend.”
***
“This sounds kind of sad to say, but my week, my social life schedule, revolved around Thursdays,” says College sophomore Madeline Penn, a member of Theta, recalling her infatuation with going downtown freshman year. Jared also used downtowns to socialize and network as an underclassman. “Definitely my freshman and sophomore year, I was a quote, unquote, ‘scenester’” he says with a self–deprecating smirk. “Every downtown, it didn’t matter who threw it, I wanted to be there.” Attending downtowns became an integral part of Jared’s rush experience, as he “bro–flirted” his way through event after event, buying drinks for the brothers. In the spring of his freshman year, Jared joined Theos. Madeline credits a sense of social
Growing up and out of Rumor, Recess and the Roxxy by Marley Coyne elevation—of doing something other college freshman don’t—for increasing the hype. “People at Dartmouth don’t do this. I’m not wearing sweatpants and drinking a beer,” she says. But the novelty wore off. She puts it in Penn terms: “At first you think you’re cool, like, ‘Oooh, I’m clubbing,’ but then you realize it’s just a big bat mitzvah with Penn people who pay off the bouncer.” After spending last fall abroad, Jared lost interest in downtowns that didn’t measure up to London nightlife. “When you’re young, you want to drink because you haven’t done it,” he says. “And a lot of people going to college haven’t really gone clubbing and just to be able to go clubbing with older people is kind of interesting, kind of a little taboo.” Others grow tired of the superficial socializing facilitated by the nightclub setting. “You see these people during the day on Locust Walk and you don’t even say hi to them, but at the downtowns it’s, ‘Hi darling! How are you?’” says Greta. Sitting around a table at Capogiro with Greta and Simon, Victor adds, “Now it’s 20 bucks [for cover]. When we were freshman, it was 10 bucks.” The problem, he says, isn’t so much the surge in price—it’s the decreased value of what that money buys. For underclassmen, the hefty cover fee provides not only entry to the club but also access to a nightlife scene. “It’s sort of a silent, or sometimes not–so–silent, agreement that you’re going to be very, very lenient at the door,” Arjan says. He adds, “If not, greasing does occur.” As the thrill of underage drinking wanes and fake IDs are swapped for the real deal, getting blackout drunk—or hanging out with underclassmen who
are—loses it’s luster. “If you ever go to a downtown sober,” Jared says, “it’s a complete 180.”
***
“The downtown isn’t really going to go anywhere,” Arjan says.“People might see it as a way to get off campus—and a way that is easy for them. But what it really becomes is just an extension of that Penn bubble.” Various groups have tried to reimagine Philadelphia as a social space for Penn students. They’ve hosted events utilizing the city’s artistic and cultural resources. But so far, no one has created an experience capable of replacing the money or frequency of downtowns. Music becomes a compromise—drawing in people who would regularly attend downtowns and providing people who don’t a reason to go. Despite College junior Damien Ekechukwu’s preference for Smokes’ over traditional downtowns, he organized a charity concert hosted by Beta, bringing in EDM duo Chainsmokers to headline. The concert raised $3,500 for the American Foundation for Suicide. This year, Beta is hosting Sound Remedy and The Jane, hoping for similar success. “In terms of our event, I don’t like to consider it a downtown.” Damien says. But he concedes, “Yes, it is downtown. [But] my vision of a downtown is you go, you pay 20 bucks for cover, you’re in nice clothes, possibly a blazer, and you’re
paying for expensive drinks.” Music strips away the importance of money—or at least, ostentatious displays of wealth; people come to see a performance rather than to simply be seen. Arjan cites a “whole scene revolving around Dolphin Tavern,”—a club in South Philly that regularly hosts live artists—as a possible alternative for Penn students seeking to escape campus. “It’s no frills,” he says. “You go there. You go for the music. You go there to dance. Cover’s cheap. Drinks are cheap.” Then again, the emerging music scene is still a scene. Greta, who talks about music with heated excitement, bemoans the superficiality of attending events to hear on–campus DJs. “People go to places because of the name of the frat brother they know, and not because the music is going to be good,” she says. The desire to be in the right place at the right time remains inherently ingrained in Penn’s social life, whether on or off campus, in a nightclub or in a bar. “I never thought I’d be a senior at Penn still talking about social capital,” Greta says, laughing.
Marley Coyne is a junior in the College studying English with a concentration in creative writing. She is current managing editor of Street.
A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 1
EGO
INS
+ OUTS
As Heidi Klum put it: In Street's Film and TV section, one day you're in and the next you're out. At least, we're pretty sure that's the quote. Either way, here's what's what. IN: Going to see Fast 7. Vin Diesel declared it’s going to win an Oscar, and it has an 85% on Rotten Tomatoes. Plus, Paul Walker. Photo courtesy of: imbd.com
OUT: Acting like you're above the Fast/Furious franchise. They’ve made seven of them now, so not everyone can hate them. IN: Amy Schumer. She’s gracing the cover of Entertainment Weekly this week, and everyone is more than ready for her comedy Trainwreck to come out this summer. OUT: Only men getting to play the under–achieving, heavy–drinking schlubs in Judd Apatow movies. Bridesmaids broke the glass ceiling. Now Trainwreck is capitalizing on that momentum.
Photo courtesy of: Time Magazine
IN: Live–action Disney princess movies. First there was the Cinderella remake, and now there's a Mulan remake on the way. Oh, and Emma Watson is playing Belle in a reimagining of Beauty and the Beast—we guess we can forgive Emma for picking the princess life over Penn grad school. OUT: Rewatching Frozen in your dorm room for the hundredth time. We know someone already said it, but it’s time to let it go. CASSANDRA KYRIAZIS
Photo courtesy of: Wikipedia
Photo courtesy of: sourcefed.com
Vote for Copa as... Best Bar & Best Brunch in the DP Best of Penn 2015! 4000 Spruce Street | (215) 382-1330 Mon.: 11:30am - Midnight | Tue. - Fri.: 11:30am - 2am | Sat & Sun.: 11:00am - 2am 1 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
•
h i c uatl c a z It 67St. • (215) 4 1005 h t 8 t a S accihu l.com 1122 ww.phillyizt
•
w
Penn Special Show Penn ID Pay in cash $20 Entry Fee Food + Tip Included 7 Days a Week!
Bring Tequila for free magarita mix!
CRAZY FUN! * Ask us about room rentals!
Vote for us!
THE RETURN OF GOOD HORROR MOVIES? EGO
With the release of the movie It Follows, following last year’s critically acclaimed Babadook, the horror movie industry is reviving itself by tackling socially relevant issues. NATE MCLEOD Photo: Youtube
BABADOOK
IT FOLLOWS
It Follows, an American film released at the end of March, tells the story of a young college student named Jay at home for the summer. After a confusing sexual experience with a guy, she's instilled with the curse of It—a force that can manifest itself in any person and follows Jay around. It comes for you, but others can't see It. If It reaches you, It kills you. The only way to get rid of It is by passing It onto others through sexual contact. The most ambitious part of the film is the way it tackles sexual assault, especially in the context of a college–aged female. However, the film doesn't exploit this theme as slasher films did in the '70s and '80s, where teenagers would be chopped up on screen as a punishment for being sexually active. Rather, the film shows a more nuanced view of the issue, portraying the process of a girl mentally overcoming a traumatic sexual experience with the help of her friends. It Follows has a clear message:
sexual conduct, whether consensual or forced, follows you, mentally and emotionally. Those feelings can't be shoved aside or ignored. At the same time, the film is very open–ended. The narrative is loose, the end is somewhat unresolved, and the machinations of It are unclear. These stylistic choices seem intentional, reflecting the way issues like this are never clear–cut in real life. The camera mimics this ambiguity using open and wide shots. The perspective gives the viewer the sensation of watching or being watched. These voyeuristic shots create an ongoing sense of uneasiness for the audience, who can constantly see It in the background of every frame. Since the ‘monsters’ in this film are relatively normal–looking people, the horror relies on tension–building music to produce its scares. The constant highpitched synth pervades the movie and is interjected by a heart–pounding bass.
Babadook, an Australian film released in 2014, tells the story of Amelia, a stressed and isolated single mother, concerned with the mental health and stability of her erratic son, Samuel. Meanwhile she battles her own grief over the loss of her husband. It soon becomes apparent that these two issues are very closely intertwined, and the invisible ‘boogie man’ that her son is obsessed with catching and killing is actually deep–seated grief and resentment brooding in the mother herself. The camera’s striking cinematography is the first layer of fright in the film. The camera is framed in extremely tight shots, giving an ongoing sense of claustrophobia, contributing to the themes of the narrative. Even when the shot is outside of the house—the car, a playground, a
WHAT THE FILMS MEAN FOR HORROR: The most commendable part about these movies is the way they conquer socially relevant
and realistic issues while using the semiotic elements of the horror genre. While Babadook portrays dealing with grief and loss of a spouse, It Follows tackles teenage sexuality (with references to sexual assault, child abuse and incest). Nowadays, we see horror movies made just for the sake of trying to be scary. Babadook and It Follows, however, seem to have taken controversial issues and inner conflicts and dramatized them accurately through the generic conventions of a standard horror film. In The Babadook, the classic tropes of horror movies—a monster, black vomit, a creepy child in a tree house, a demonic boy— are all artistic representations a woman’s struggle with grief. In It Follows we see scintillating commentary on a girl’s struggle with sexual assault, including the authorities that are always one step behind, and quotes like ‘I can’t tell my mother. She’ll blame me.’ In the end, both are terrific films, dealing with subversive and ambitious material while delivering thought–provoking and thrilling entertainment. And both are paving the way for a new style of artistic and socially relevant horror cinema.
Photo: Wordpress
friend’s house—the audience cannot help but feel trapped, whether in the constraints of the camera frame or the mind of our mentally unstable protagonist. Most importantly, there are hardly any cheap jumps. Instead, the horror comes from tiny, idiosyncratic moments that build tension. One chill– inducing shot goes under the bed sheets as a light passes over Amelia’s head. The shot looks supernatural, but it's only the sun moving through the sky as time passes. But the truly scary part is how the events, relationships, and circumstances are so realistic. It’s hard to see the movie as a horror story and not an introspective and insidious look at the realities of grief, loss, and parenting. And that's because it does a bit of both.
GROUP TOWNHOUSE AVAILABLE
NOW LEASING FOR JUNE 2015
THE BEST LOCATION
40th & Locust
Washer/Dryer | 8BR, 3BTH | Alarm System
4019 Locust St. 215-222-5500 uerealestate@aol.com
“Your mother will be happy.”
UE
university enterprises
Apartments & Townhouses
Locations you want. Prices you need. Experience you trust.
OUR 50th YEAR SERVING PENN STUDENTS A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 3
FOOD & DRINK
FROM THE MOUTH OF COMMONS This week, Street hit up Commons and started making friends. First, an employee who has been working at Commons since 2012. She likes to giggle and gossip with students about weekend parties, potential hookups and how expensive but necessary it is to get their hair and eyebrows done. They shared with us many reasons why they love their jobs: the interactions with students, meeting people from all over the world, immersing themselves in the college life and money at Penn. We were touched by one worker's passion for the kitchen. “It’s hands on. It’s creative. And you get to prepare recipes you never prepared before," he said.
We convinced the 1920 Commons staff to spill the beans on their favorite and wierdest expereinces, but only if they were anonymous.
What is the craziest thing you’ve ever seen a Penn student do? “One time, a student came in with goggles on. He was acting like Commons was the swimming pool, just swimming around doing breaststroke. And me and Kim were just watching him. He was real funny.”
“I believe they had students come in with masks on, like a raccoon and a cow mask. And they were eating off other students' plates.”
Vote for New Deck for the Best Happy Hour on Penn’s Campus! Happy Hour Monday through Friday, 5pm-7pm. Enjoy it on our outdoor patio!
“One of the students told me he was on steroids. He was an athlete.” “[A student] threw wet tissues at the other students. Also they get drunk sometimes in here. Like they bring alcohol into Commons, and drink it in here.”
“It’s funny to see what you guys come in wearing on Halloween and Spring Fling. You guys come in all drunk, just desperate to get food in your stomachs. One time last year, this girl comes swaying and swipes in with Miss Mary. She starts up the stairs but doesn’t make it half way up before she throws up all over. It like drips down the stairs and everything.” NATASHA DOHERTY
Kitchen open everyday, 11am-1am Bring your appetite! $5 Appetizers $1 off all Beer, Wine, and Cocktails 215.386.4600 • NewDeckTavern.com • 3408 Sansom St 1 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
UNCOMMON SHIT 34ST.COM
FOOD & DRINK
What do you think about Penn students themselves? “For the most part, they’re respectful. They know what they want in terms of food, and that’s a good thing. That’s better for us because then we know what to make for them.”
“This year, everything is better. When someone drops something, they pick it up themselves, even when we tell them we got it.”
“They’re beautiful. They’ve got nice personalities, good conversations. Most of them are respectful.”
“I hate it when I ask you what you want and you stare at me funny and say, “What?” It’s a little rude.”
“Y’all are very nice and polite, but doing tables can get a little rough. We know y’all only sit where the tables are clean.”
Vote for us in Best of Penn and get a free cone at 218 S. 40th Street
Tuesday, April 14th from 12pm - 8pm A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5
ARTS
The Penn carrels have seen us at both our best and worst (mostly worst). Arts critiques on the lasting permanent–ink memories we’ve left behind for generations to come.
We didn’t take German. You tell us, Hansel.
Here's to hoping Krysty still <3 Mike.
What of YOUR soul?
Hopefully this big guy will operate on a real human being some day
Future cardiologist
Extracurricular game strong.
Shameless.
Imagine how much it'll suck when you're actually IN med school.
1 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
ARTS
SEEING WITH YOUR EARS: PENN’S SYNESTHETES
He experiences colors in association with his thoughts and feelings: his mum "has a papery feel: very bright yellow, sometimes drifting into light blues, purples"; love is the color and texture of a red brick. singular perspective could seem isolating, but no one I spoke to felt lonely on account of their synesthesia. “Everyone has something that’s unique to them, this is my thing,” Mitch explains. With synaesthesia or without, we each experience the world in our own peculiar way. Connection doesn’t come from similarity between us, but from communication. MOLLY COLLETT
EC O
EN T
however, synesthesia is related to his general mental stability and stress levels. He experiences colors in association with his thoughts and feelings: his mom “has a papery feel: very bright yellow, sometimes drifting into light blues, purples." And love is the color and texture of a red brick. But at times in his life when he’s been under pressure, the synesthesia has become oppressive. “It’s in your head, so in that way it can be claustrophobic. The very best and worst moments of my life have been defined by the colors,” he muses. Since practicing transcendental meditation and gaining stability in his life, he has come to excercise better control and appreciate his condition. For better or worse “it’s part of who I am.” Having such a unique,
S
Often misrepresented as an involuntary, 24/7 acid trip, synesthesia is in fact a neurological condition in which sensory cognitive pathways are crossed leading to multi-sensory perception.
and image are likewise linked. Mitch Hung is a College junior who was informally diagnosed with audio/visual synesthesia by his introduction to experimental psych professor in office hours after a lecture on the condition. Mitch associates sounds with corresponding shapes and shades of gray. He loves creating and listening to music, and classifies it in an unusual way that reflects his unusual ears. Rather than jazz or acid house, Mitch’s favorite genre is “stuff that looks interesting. I’m always going for new, unique experiences.” So... Kesha. Meanwhile, another college Junior, who asked to remain anonymous for this article, enjoys “spatial music” and strives to create certain visual, textural environments when playing his French horn or trumpet, which he makes time for every day. Although all three boys have had the condition for their entire lives, they all feel their perception has changed over time. Penn has been an environment for discovery and development of their synesthesia, but seeing sound creates its own odd problems on campus. “Big lecture halls are the worst,” Mitch explains. “Even when I’m trying to listen to the professor, I can still feel people shuffling around and whispering.” And you think you’re sorted with your studying playlist of exclusively Icelandic music so that you won't sing along? That doesn’t cut it for Ayo. “You know how people say it’s distracting to study listening to music with words? Well, for me it’s like all music has words,” he laughs. For the unnamed junior,
THE
It’s Tuesday morning and Wharton sophomore Ayo Fagbemi is walking along 36th Street on his way to campus. Ahead of him he sees university buildings and other students when the song “Cold Dead” by Flying Lotus comes on in his headphones. And then, in front of him, an electric purple haze diffuses to orange to dark pea green to ambient gray: he sees colors melting into the arpeggio of the song, shifting with the key changes. It might sound like a trippy daydream, but this is how Ayo experiences music. He’s a member of the handful of Penn students who self-identify with the condition of synesthesia. Often misrepresented as an involuntary, 24/7 acid trip, synesthesia is in fact a neurological condition in which sensory cognitive pathways are crossed, leading to multi–sensory perception. This sensation includes the audio/visual connection Ayo shares with musicians like Stevie Wonder and Pharrell. Like these artists, Ayo uses his condition in creating music as a member of a cappela group, the Inspiration—the colors help him keep track of tonality and emotional resonance. For two other Penn musicians with synesthesia, sound
ER
For three Penn students with synesthesia—a psychological condition that mixes the senses—the world doesn’t sound black and white. This week, we take a look at the multicolored lives of these creative individuals.
ND MILE C
TH RIFT STORE
Clothing, appliances, books, furniture, household items, and more! Monday–Saturday 10AM–8PM
214 South 45th Street (Between Locust & Walnut) 215.662.1663
To donate, call 215.662.1663
www.TheSecondMileCenter.com
BRAND NEW Student Apartments! Enjoy granite kitchens with all appliances, custom private bathrooms, hardwood floors, Flat Screen TVs in family rooms, alarm systems, front door monitors, fire sprinkler systems.
FREE SHUTTLE SERVICE for all tenants to and from campus every 45 minutes! 38th & Spring Garden: 3BR, 3BTH – starting at $1,895.00 38th & Hamilton: 3BR, 3BTH – starting at $2,000.00 38th & Hamilton: 3BR, 2BTH – starting at $1,950.00
All are FURNISHED, and have a FITNESS CENTER & STUDY ROOM!
Limited Availability. Call today! 855-205-0500 | universityrealtyapartments.com A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17
LOWBROW
LI N E U P Y E H T OU 'V LL W A N EA I TI N B EE G FO R!
LIMP BIZKIT THE CHANDELIERS TUTANKAMEN'S REVENGE FIONA APPLE
WHOODIE ALLEN
(BUT IN THE 1990S)
(WOODY AND HOODIE ALLEN COLLABORATE TO MAKE THE WORLD'S MOST NEUROTIC HIP HOP ARTIST)
GOOD CHARLOTTE THE LIL B EXPERIENCE (JUST A MAN WHO READS HIS TWEETS #THANKYOUPRAISEGOD)
OBAMA'S DOG (HE'S A DJ NOW)
PIT BULL
(WITHOUT JLO OR KESHA)
(WILL PERFORM FOR EXACTLY 5 SECONDS. BE ON TIME.)
RUTH BADER GINSBERG
GROWNISH MANBINO FALLOUT BOY
5 SECONDS OF SUMMER
SALLY HANSEN JACK GREY
(HALF JACK BLACK, HALF JACK WHITE, ALL MAN)
BARRY MANILOW HOLOGRAM
TIESTO
(MUSIC PLAYED THROUGH LOUD SPEAKER)
DJ LOUD NOISES
WEREWOLFWEEK
(EZRA KOENIG HAD A FEUD WITH HIS BANDMATES FROM VAMPIRE WEEKEND SO HE STARTED THIS SPINOFF BAND OUT OF SPITE)
(HE'S ALIVE HE JUST COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO BE HERE)
VOTE NOW for the best
OF PENN
BAR
a) The Blarney Stone b) Copa c) Harvest d) Smokey Joe’s e) William Street Commons | Vote now at theDP.com/BestofPenn 1 8 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
La Fontana Della Citta 215.875.9990
Experience a Touch of Italy At the Best BYOB In Philly! Seats 180 People 5 Lunches, 7 Dinners, 7 days a week Excellent for Family and Group Meetings Contact Management, they are happy to meet your needs!
Authentic Italian Cuisine at Reasonable Prices
15% off with Fixed Price Sunday-Thursday
1701 Spruce St. - Philadelphia, PA 19103 - www.lafontanadellacitta.com
LOWBROW
HOW YOUR FAVORITE BANDS GOT THEIR NAMES We totally researched this.
Guns N' Roses: The First Municipal Bank and SF Botanical Garden were designed by same famed architect, Alex Wyler. A group of robbers got the two confused in a tragic mix–up, created the most famous stick–up in flower history. The band met at the 10th anniversary of the rose masacre.
Frank Ocean:
Mr. Ocean has been an undercover mermaid, excuse us, merman since hitting the R&B scene.
Hootie and Blowfish: Instead of hot wings, Hooters in Japan sell, Fugu, also known as deadly blowfish. Darius Rucker was enchanted on a visit to Japan by the danger mixed with babes. He decided that day that Hooter and Blowfish was going to sweep the ‘90s pop scene like a tsunami. Unfortunately, Hooters is trademarked.
Swedish House Mafia: The Swedish Mafia committed hundreds of crimes throughout the eastern seaboard. The mob boss, Hemnes Askvoll ruled the underground furniture, home goods, and meatball markets with an iron fist. The DJs that formed this band are direct heir of this black market empire.
Death Cab for Cutie: Drawing inspiration for the 1980 horror film, Death Carwash. The band's Death Cab came from their front man’s hatrid of “Cuties” tangerines. Matchbox 20: Front man, Rod Thomas, is a hoarder. To get over the debilitating disease famed abnormal psychologist, Carlos Santana (not the one you are thinking of ), made him get rid of the hoards of match boxes in his home, which had become a dangerous fire hazard.
One Direction: Inspired by the true life inspiration for Zoolander, Juan Way, a man who could only turn to the left, Harry Stiles formed the band to raise awareness for the directionally challenged. For too many Americans, one direction is the only option. Rolling Stones: In the small town of Tin point, in North Wales, there are said to be stones that have souls and move on their own. Mick Jagger is the reincarnated witch who put the spell on those stones.
Green Day: Drummer Tre Cool is huge fan of green beans. For him, every Calvin Harris: Was born this way. day is a green day.
MUSIC FESTIVALS YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF Sure, Made in America is fun, but these ~alternative~ music festivals are even better.
Rock in Reno: Rock in Rio has moved to Vegas this year, but Rock in Reno is the real highlight of Nevada’s music scene, anyway. Headlining this year is Boys Like Girls, a band that totally is relevant and still exists. Other acts include D4L (you may know them for their preeminent song: “Laffy Taffy”), KT Tunstall and Daniel Powter. Grab your bucket hats and fanny packs; this festival is one you don’t want to miss.
Duluth, is always a chill time. The two– day festival features two distinct musical styles: Day one is “water” filled with lo–fi, techno nuevo. Day two is “fly”, full of airy marimba.
Queens’ Gala: The governor gets a ball, but the queens deserve a gala. This festival, housed in a mansion in San Francisco only features two things: royal descendants and drag queens, both lip-synching along to your favorite hits. Highlights from last year included Chi Chi LaRue’s glorious rendition of “The Boy is Mine” with Pippa Middleton.
Kangaroo: Bonnaroo is cool, but Kangaroo features all of Australia’s best artists like Bjork and some chill dudes who have a band that you met while studying abroad in Melbourne who kept calling you Sheila, even though your name isn’t Sheila.
WaterFly: This aquatic extravaganza, located on the shore of Lake Superior, slightly north of
NorthWest by North West: This festival is located in Spokane, Washington (also known as America’s Eyebrow). Featuring the musical stylings of Kimye’s progeny, NorthWest is sure to impress.
Amish Daisy Carnival (ADC): The amish put on a rousing festival with home churned butter and daisies up the wazoo. It’s like a whole weekend of Rumspringa!
LOWBROW IS A LOT LIKE AUTO–TUNE, MAKING FAKE SOUND REAL.
Now Leasing! Flexible Leasing • Single and Double Rooms • Individual Leases • All Amenities and Utilities Included
Call 215.662.0802 Email AxisLeasing@AltmanCo.com
Stop in 20 South 36th Street Today to learn how to make The Axis your home away from home!
Photo: Wikipedia A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9
B AC K PAG E
NA
PENN'S BEST PROFESSORS MM A RI ER KI
CLASS: MATH 103, 104
DEPARTMENT: MATH “He makes math incredibly relatable, and is “Mad chill, but also cares a huge support to his students both in and a lot about his students. “Dude is cash.” Dude’s the man.” out of the classroom.
WHY HE'S THE BEST:
A IS
CAMYAR
DEPARTMENT: PYSCHOLOGY
"Just awesome. She's done awesome research about the Hadza hunter gatherers."
"She's the only reason I get up for my 9am."
CLASS: INTR 390, 391, 350
"She's really enthusiastic about what she's teaching, and it makes learning from her fun for her students."
DEPARTMENT: INTERNATIONAL RELATIONS
“Besides the awesome accent?”
WHY HE'S THE BEST:
“He’s engaging, funny, and always cheerful.”
VID ENG A D
“Sassy, Asian, and the most eloquent speaker I’ve ever met.”
“Reminds you about the deliberate life.”
“Brilliant dude with amazing taste in fashion.”
“Fascinating professor with ideas about everything from politics to theatre. He’s incredibly well traveled, too.”
DEPARTMENT: RELIGIOUS STUDIES
“Boss–ass former Buddhist Monk who is a modern day genius and inspiration.”
M STIN CDANIE JU
L
CLASS: RELS 571, RELS 013
ME L
BOB JOHNSO
DEPARTMENT: ENGLISH
WHY HE'S THE BEST:
IE AN
DEPARTMENT: PHYSICS
“On a typical class day we’d walk in and he would be belaying “Made his own himself from the lecture hall ceiling to teach us about forces, or he Pacman costumes for would be dropping cans of soda from a twelve–foot ladder. WhatApril Fools trick.” ever he’s doing, he’s passionate, and he infuses life into physics.”
CLASS: ENG 207
WHY HE'S THE BEST:
“His enthusiasm is contagious. I can’t imagine a professor besides him getting so excited to teach a class on thesis writing.”
N
CLASS: PHYS 140 WHY HE'S THE BEST:
N CORE APICEL
LA
CLASS: PSYC 170 WHY SHE'S THE BEST:
After receiving 150 nominations for the best professor at Penn, Street presents the most loved profs. And here's why you gave them an A+.
“Funniest professor I’ve ever had.”
PERO N CLASS: FREN 226, 227 WHY SHE'S THE BEST:
2 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E A P R I L 9 , 2 01 5
DEPARTMENT: FRENCH
“She takes a subject involving “SHE IS AMAZING. “Hilarious, smart, captivating, likes learning about 15 different BEST PROFESSOR talking about the sex lives of French Louis’s and way too many EVER." kings.” Charles, but turns it into a story."