COMIC BOOK AND CANDY Written by Antonio McDowell READING COPY 2/25/20
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COMIC BOOK AND CANDY
CHARACTERS: FREDDIE, 7 BEIBER, 7
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(Freddie, eager to talk to Beiber, sits down in the back of the class next to him and whispers as Beiber munches on a cupcake.) FREDDIE (Anxiously.) You get it? Huh? Did you get the book? BEIBER Yeah, but I...(Interrupted.) FREDDIE Let me see it. Can I hold it? (Beiber is a highly imaginative kid.) BEIBER I can’t let you touch it yet ‘cause my dad gonna pick up your scent. FREDDIE Gosh Beiber, he won’t know. BEIBER He will because...(Interrupted.) FREDDIE He won’t because I been eating donut sticks, your dad gonna smell that. (Beiber takes his last bite of cup cake; cream sits on his top lip as if left there for a reason.) (Beiber trying hard to remove his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle backpack from his unusually big 7-year-old body.) BEIBER Freddie, you got some more donut sticks? If I eat some my dad will think I touched his comic book collection and won’t pick up on your real scent. FREDDIE
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I’ll give you one. BEIBER Awe man, can I have at least two? FREDDIE Gosh Beiber, my donut sticks not part of the deal. I brought what you asked for. (Freddie reaches in his book bag and pulls out the new king-size Oreo cookies.) BEIBER I know, but, you don’t want my dad to pick up your scent, so I gotta eat at least two. Plus I’m bigger than you so it’s gonna take that many donut sticks to put the scent on me. FREDDIE Maybe you’re right... (Freddie reaches back inside his book bag and pulls out four donut sticks; He gives two of ‘em to Beiber who immediately eats one before he could get the wrapper off.) FREDDIE (CONT’D) ...Can I see the comic book? Is it really Spiderman’s 1st edition? BEIBER Yeah. My dad said he gonna let me have all of ‘em one day. He collected all the old comic books in the world, we can buy our own country with them and nobody can tell us what to do. FREDDIE Take it out your book bag ‘fo I can see it. BEIBER Awe right. (Staring at the other donut sticks in Freddie’s hand, Beiber pulled the Spiderman 1st edition comic
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FREDDIE Let me see the book Beiber. I gave you my stuff. BEIBER I know. I’m finna let you see it, wait a minute. FREDDIE (Sighing out loud.) Come on Beiber. Why I gotta wait fo? BEIBER Man, do you know this the 1st edition? (Being slick in an innocent 7year-old kind of way.) It’s worth two mo’ donut sticks. (Beiber opens the comic and begins to flip through the pages as he conjures up a make-believe story. Taunting Freddie, he starts describing the scene.) BEIBER (CONT’D) This the best part. Mary Jane is falling from the big building and Spiderman can’t get to her because he getting beat down by the Green Goblin. You won’t believe what happened. Mary Jane leg got caught on the...(Interrupted.) FREDDIE Okay, okay, okay. Don’t tell me no moe. You can have the donut sticks. BEIBER Did you bring anything else from your mom candy store? Did you bring any super-size Oreos? FREDDIE Yeah, but I’mma give you the donut sticks first, but you gotta let me keep it all day.
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For how long? FREDDIE All day ‘til tomorrow. BEIBER (Sound of fear and frustration in his voice.) TOMORROW! Aw man, my dad gonna kill me. FREDDIE (Being conniving.) Your dad won’t know. BEIBER Yes he will because he...(Interrupted.) FREDDIE By the time he find out we gon’ be grown. BEIBER Aw man! Yes he will. You don’t know my dad. (Freddie reaches in his backpack and pulls out a small Ziplock filled with Now-and-Later candy. He opens it and begins to eat ‘em in front of Beiber as his stomach starts to growl.) FREDDIE Gosh Beiber, your dad can’t kill you, you only 7 years old. BEIBER Yeah, I know but...(Interrupted.) FREDDIE (Playing on Beiber’s hyper imagination.) My momma said 7 year olds have mo’ magic than adults. Ain’t your dad like four hundred years old?
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Yeah but... (Now focusing on the Now-and-Later Freddie is currently eating.) Aw man that smell like Watermelon. FREDDIE (Pretending he didn’t hear Beiber.) Huh? BEIBER My dad know karate, he can kill me with his magic hands and nobody will know ‘til I’m old too. (Freddie continues to pop Now-andLater candy in his mouth as Beiber starts holding his stomach as if he can suppress the hunger drumming in there.) FREDDIE Your mom ain’t gonna let(Interruption.) BEIBER Aw man. What kind was that you just ate? FREDDIE What? BEIBER Now-and-Later, what kind was that? FREDDIE Why you wanna know fo’? BEIBER Aw man. (Beiber begin flipping back through the pages of the comic book.) Let me finish telling you about Mary Jane. Her leg got-
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(Interruption.) FREDDIE Don’t tell me; Don’t tell me, huh. (Gesturing to give Beiber some Now-and-Laters) BEIBER What about my super-size Oreo. FREDDIE Gosh Beiber, hun… (Giving in to Beiber’s request.) Now let see it. (Beiber hands it over and whispers.) BEIBER Don’t let the teacher catch you looking at it. FREDDIE I ain’t. BEIBER (Whispering.) Freddie...Freddie. FREDDIE What Beiber. You gon get me caught. BEIBER You got some mo’ Now-and-Laters? FREDDIE Why. BEIBER ‘Cause I ran out. FREDDIE So. You gon’ get me caught.
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9 BEIBER
Aw man. FREDDIE Gosh Beiber… wait. (Freddie gives Beiber the small ziplock bag with the Now-andLaters.) FREDDIE Don’t let the teacher see you. BEIBER Aw man, I ain’t. (Freddie is lost in the comic book while Beiber is constantly eating candy, hoping not to get caught. He didn’t see the candy wrappers under his desk. Freddie isn’t paying any attention, he hides the Spiderman comic between his math book, doesn’t notice that it sticks out from the side. All of a sudden, both kids look up and standing in front of them is their worst nightmare, their teacher with his hand out-reached toward the candy and Spiderman comic book.) FREDDIE Aw man! (Quoting Beiber.) My mom gonna kill me when she find out I was looking at comic books. She put me on punishment and took all my Superman and Spiderman books. BEIBER My dad and mom gonna kill me when they find out I been eating candy, and that I took my dad’s book. FREDDIE Aw man.
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Gosh Freddie. FREDDIE It’s all your fault, Beiber. BEIBER Ugh Ugh, no it ain’t. FREDDIE Yes it is ‘cause you asked me to take the candy from my mom candy store. BEIBER Because you wanted to read my dad comic book. FREDDIE Gosh Beiber. BEIBER Aw man. (Both kids look up at their teacher.) END OF PLAY