Quarterly Magazine Issue No. 5
SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY ISSUE Exclusive REBECCA KING CREWS
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40ZROCK.COM
y r a s r e v i n n A y Hap p 40z R ock!
CONTENTS / Issue No. 5
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ON THE COVER
Rebecca King Crews, singer, actress, producer, mother and wife of actor and NFL player Terry Crews.
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22 Features 40 Cutting the Cord with Class
42 My Child Comes First 46 God, Are You Laughing at Me?
48 Stop Throwin’ Shade 2
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20 8 24
In Each Issue 4
Editor’s Letter
8 Must-Haves: Editor’s Gift Guide : Valentine’s Day Six Sweet Finds
1 0 Healthy Living: New Year, New Mindset: Cheers to Good Mental Health
1 4 Food: New Year’s Diet Detox
1 6 Entertainment: 9th Annual Taste of Soul
1 8
Q&A With Mia: Let’s Get it (W) Right!
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Beauty: Easy on the Eyes
22 Fashion:
Lingerie: Bring the Sexy Back to Your Relationship
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Health: Resolve to Be Realistic
28 Relationships: Why Am I Still Single?
30 Effective Parenting: My Teacher Hates Me
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F orty, Fabulous & Free Say Yes to You
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T ravel Romantic Getaways
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RSVP
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40zROCK / EDITOR'S LETTER
The Man in the Arena
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. ~ THEODORE ROOSEVELT
How many times have you found yourself being the man in the arena? You put forth your very best efforts only to hear what you should or could have done differently. Yes, the critic is always waiting for the opportunity to discourage you, instead of embracing the chance to help make a change. It took me a long time, but thanks to this speech I am able to understand clearly why critics don't count! Keep in mind,no matter how hard you try or what a postive impact you make, you will never please everyone. Really, when you stop and think about it, how is the critic spending their time? So, the next time you're in the midst of following your vision, and all you see is blood and sweat, keep striving to do your deeds. Remember, no matter what, stand firm on your beliefs, stay in the arena and learn to live life unlike the critic with no regrets! This speech has given me continued strength throughout the year, so, I thought it would be only appropriate to share it with you. YOU ROCK!
Sandra A. Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief
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CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
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Sandra Wyckoff Editor-in-Chief
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Editing Chief
Melisa Fox Entertainment Editors
Rhonda M. Anderson Kim Evans Lawson Creative Director
Ann Inez Hardell Photographers
Bobby B Photos by Bobby Hall (cover + page 38) Makeup
Lamik Cosmetics Hair
Paulette Pradia Prefinity Art Designs (cover + page 38) Wardrobe
Ronge Boutique (cover + page 38)
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Special Thank You 40z rock is proud to recognize these writers for their significant contribution to the mission of 40z Rock magazine. This recognition is truly a result of their hard work. Each issue these writers have consistently submitted a stimulus of articles and columns that contribute to the wellbeing of our new generation of forties rock women. We look forward to your inspirational words for years to come. Again, thank you for your contributions and your commitment to 40z Rock. #togetherwerock! With Gratitude, Sandra Wyckoff
π Founder of 40z Rockr
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1 Kim Bady An inspirational speaker, and author. Kim's latest book, Hey Sexy: Seeing the Excellence in Yourself. 2 Tiffiny E. Dixon, Empowerment Stylist Founder of ME Optimized (MEO) a NYC based womens empowerment agency, she helps women use their personal style as an empowerment tool. Garnering tears & cheers at her entertaining and inspiring Style Empowerment Workshop's & Bus Shopping Tours, Dixon encourages women to combine their personality & life goals to create a signature style. 3 Mena Freeman She wrote the book Backin the Game–a dating playbook for men over 40 after realizing that older men sometimes need a little help after becoming single again. While continuing her financial planning business Mena is a successful author, motivational speaker as well as guest on several radio and television shows.
4 4 Tezzie Gilbert, Owner / President at The
Branding Style, www.thebrandstyle.com
The Branding Style develop campaigns that cater strictly to the patients and the practice. Their marketing initiatives have been tried and proven by other medical offices. Some of those traditional and Interactive marketing services. 5 Kimberly Handy, Owner at GlammGirl
Dynasty LLC, www.kimberlyhandy.com
This is a place for women who are living fabulously over 40. A place where we talk about how to live our healthiest lives, balance family & career and maintain our unique image & style all while having the time and energy to do it all. 6 Cheri Alphonse Hayes, ED.S. True to her roots of St. Lucia, Cheri keeps her cultural origins and ancestral foundation alive through language (creole), dialect, events and travel. She nurtures children through mentoring and teaching. She is employed by the Department of Defense Education Activity, Domestic Dependent Elementary and Secondary Schools at US Army Base Fort Stewart, Georgia.
thanks
merci
do jeh
dankscheen
gracias dankie grazie arigato
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8 P 7 Danielle Johnson Graduate of Hampton University with a Bachelor's degree in Biological Sciences. She is currently employed with Bristol Myers Squibb Pharmaceuticals as a Senior Diabetes Specialty representative. Daniellehas also worked in other therapeutic areas such as: Urology, Cardiovascular and Oncology. 8 Dr. Rebecca Johnson, PSYD Dr. Rebecca was awarded her Psy.D. and M.A. in Clinical Psychology by the California School of Professional Psychology and holds an active Georgia Psychologist License. 9 Stephanie D. McKenzie Award-winning marketer, college educator, certified coach, author, and agent life-altering change, "Coach Steph" brings more than two decades of business and marketing expertise to crafting strategies that make your relationships work for you. Currently, Coach Steph is the Coaching Director for The Relationship Firm, a WhatTheLove Company. The Relationship Firm is dedicated to fixing all relationship...even yours! For more information, visit, www.TheRelationshipFirm.com. P Jacquie Parish, Owner Suga Babes Suga Babes has their own organic and vegan based bath and body product line. They also have a mobile party business. Suga Babes was the dream of Jacquie's two daughters, Layla and Mya. They told her their dream. She made it a reality! www.suga-babes.com
Q Jeneé Pierre, Owner of The Woman's
Earth, www.thewomansearthstudio.com
The Woman’s Earth is a boutique spa and wellness center offering holistic services of massage, yoga, facial and meditation. TWE aims to empower women by challenging them to rise above any internal road blocks that would keep them from fulfilling their purpose. TWE Values: Work, Elevate, Awaken, Renew, Teach, Heal. W Julie Ray An animal lover, feng shui consultant, part-time YouTuber, and author of the book, HOTT FLASH. E Wendie Rice Graduate of Clark Atlanta University with a Bachelor's degree in Mass Communications. Rice has worked in marketing/sales, public relations and travel throughout her career. In 2009 Wendie felt God's call on her life to encourage and heal others through the sharing of Christ. In 2010 she was commissioned as a Christian Lay Counselor in Atlanta where she works primarily with women, and also mentors at-risk youth across the city. R Tammy Smithers, MBA Financial Services
Professional / New York Life Insurance Company
Her financial practice focuses on creating estate, business succession, invesment, retirement solutions,college funding, and financial planning for individual clients and their businesses. Her mission is to help her clients achieve financial security and financial independence by building long-term personal relationships based upon integrity and trust.
T Merneen Spearman An author, minister, speaker, entrepreneur, mom, wife and friend. Y Charlotte Stallings The author of “I Wish Someone Had Told Me! Financial Lessons Learned the Hard Way” Charlotte is a proud member of the National Speakers Association who has shared commentary for CNN and serves as a weekly in-studio guest on Houston’s FOX 26 Wake-Up Money segment. U Stacy D. Wilson Stacy is a natural hair fanatic, so much so, she started her on blog called Free 2 B Kinky. When she is not giving tips about natural hair, or writing her column Forty, Fabulous and Free for 40z Rock Magazine, she is a dedicated English teacher in Guangzhou, China. #teachersrock I Mia Wright As founder of Metamorphosis, Inc., an organization that encompasses the life changing Metamorphosis Women’s Conference. Mia is a powerful inspirational speaker, who encourages others with uplifting messages, relevant life stories and life skills that apply in both the faith based and industry sectors. She is also a sought after national motivational speaker, women’s conference presenter, and corporate work / faith / life balance coach.
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40zROCK / MUST-HAVES n EDITOR'S GIFT IDEAS
Valentine's Day Six Sweet Finds
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GUCCI VINTAGE FOX FUR BAG
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TOM FORD SANTAL BLUSH PERFUME
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BALENCIAGA RED LEATHER SKIRT
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LAMIK BROW KIT
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GODIVA GIFT SET
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BULGARI RING
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40zROCK / HEALTHY LIVING
NEW YEAR, NEW MINDSET: Cheers to Good Mental Health by Danielle Johnson
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WOW!!! What a year it has been!!
reading pleasure! What I noticed almost
Can you believe we are now celebrating
immediately is that there had been an
the one year anniversary of 40z Rock
article written to address every concern
Magazine and what an AMAZING,
that we could possibly have as women
informative ride it is has been ladies! As
from spiritual empowerment to the
I sat thinking how I should approach
latest fashion trends, tips to enhance our
this anniversary issue, I took a moment
financial stability and of course, health
to peruse the digital pages of past
advice so that we’ll be around to enjoy
editions and all of the stimulating
it all!
âžş
articles that had been written for YOUR
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SO, NOW WHAT YOU ASK!?!?
As we usher in a New Year and I a new
about Karyn Washington, founder of For
feeling is not just you “in a mood” that you
decade of living (finally an official
Brown Girls, a movement to uplift brown
just can’t snap out of, but it’s depression
member of the 40zRock group) I’m
hued black women and Titi Branch,
and there is help for it.
determined to do things differently
co-founder of Miss Jessie’s natural hair
and I encourage all of you to do the
care line, both battling mental illness
same…A New Year, A New Mindset!
and eventually taking their own lives
Take a moment to think about what the
because the struggles of this life proved
phrase, a “new mindset” really means
too much to bear even in the midst of
for you. How are you going to protect
their tremendous success. The sad fact
your new mindset? Often times we
of the matter is that our women are
experience trials and tribulations that
suffering in silence on a daily basis with
seem never-ending and when we finally
mental illness. Depression is a common
clear the hurdle and order is restored…
and highly treatable disorder affecting
do you ever consider the effect on your
over 17-20 million Americans annually.
›d ifficulty thinking, concentrating, and remembering
mind? Our mental health has to be a
Second only to heart disease, depression
› recurrent thoughts of death or suicide
“protected priority” at all times…no
is the top reason for suicide in the United
matter what it is that we may be dealing
States. Only 12% of African American
with or going through. Now, let me be
women seek treatment for the disorder
›p ersistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders and chronic pain.
clear, I am NOT going to spend the time
because we have a tendency to look at
that we have together requesting that
mental illness as a personal weakness
you drudge up emotional baggage from
and not a medical condition, however,
among the most undertreated groups
yester-year that you would rather throw
I believe the stigma of mental illness is
for depression in the nation and
into the sea of “forgetfulness” because
being lifted.
although Caucasian women experience
this is a celebratory edition, but there’s
depression more often, it is with greater
a very important topic that we must
medical condition that far surpasses a
severity and persistence in our circle.
address if we’re ever going to tackle
temporary feeling of sadness. Clinical
The National Survey of American Life:
the misdiagnosis and under-treated
depression causes major instability in
a study or racial, ethnic, and cultural
condition of mental illness within the
mood, sleep patterns, activity levels,
influences on mental disorders and
African American community.
appetite, and social behaviors. It’s import-
mental health, provided evidence
Recently, we’ve read the stories
Clinical depression is a very serious
ant to recognize that this prolonged
SOME OF THE SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION ARE: › general feeling of emptiness › getting too much or too little sleep ›p ronounced changes in sleep, appetite, and energy › persistently sad or irritable mood › l ack of interest in or pleasure from activities that were once enjoyed
African American women are
of communities holding on to long
❝ Find one thing every day to celebrate about your life…doesn’t matter how big or small…CELEBRATE YOURSELF!❞
legacies of secrets, lies, and shame that originated from slavery. The painful part of knowing and understanding this evidence is that avoiding emotions was a survival technique that has now become a “cultural habit.” I’m reminded
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Mind Over Matter of conversations with my mom and
to show fear or weakness. It is okay to
others growing up where they gave
say “I need help!” It is okay to throw
strict instruction NOT to “tell people your
your hands up and say “I can’t take it
business”…don’t show weakness of any
any more…I have reached my limit for
kind while dealing with your problems.
today!” It’s okay to look in the mirror and
“You need to keep some things to
say “I’m not perfect but I love myself for
yourself!” You’ve heard the lines, I can’t
who I am!” Don’t continue to wear the
be the only one! It is because of this
mask of beauty and strength for society
disturbing generational advice that we
all while knowing you are struggling on
don’t seek the necessary help to deal
the inside because eventually, what’s on
with our emotional issues.
the inside will manifest itself outwardly
and at that point, it just may be too late.
Just based off of the reasons why
we choose not to have this very serious
Seek help!!
discussion, you can see that societal
influences play a major role in our
a New Mindset…enjoy this life as much
decision not to seek help. Being both
as you can as often as you can!! Find
female and African American can make a
one thing every day to celebrate about
woman vulnerable to negative attitudes,
your life…doesn’t matter how big or
stereotypes, and behaviors. This is not
small…CELEBRATE YOURSELF!! Wake
the time to allow the opinions of others
up with a song in your heart, a pep in
to stop you from seeking help!! It’s not
your step that lets the world know that
about being weak, it’s about caring
“I LOVE MYSELF” and I value the woman
for yourself enough so that you can
I am on THIS day!! Live for the moment
continue to care for and about others.
that you’re in. Don’t take another day
We as black women have the weight
for granted and definitely don’t’ sweat
of the world on our shoulders and
the small stuff!! Cheers to Good Mental
although our back is breaking, we refuse
Health ladies…we all deserve it!!
As I stated earlier, this is a New Year,
The top [5] reasons that we don’t discuss mental illness are: 1. Might hurt the family 2. Might ruin our career opportunities 3. People might think we’re crazy 4. We can’t afford to appear weak 5. Shame and embarrassment
There are several simple techniques to help restore balance and reduce stress that you can try to help protect your mindset and your mood: MEDITATE: Spending a few minutes of practice a day can help ease anxiety. Focus your attention on reciting out loud or silently a positive mantra such as “I love myself and I’m excited about my journey!” You choose what you need to speak into existence. TAKE DEEP BREATHS: Take 5 minutes to breathe deeply. This will help to slow the effects of stress by slowing the heart rate and reducing blood pressure REACH OUT: Talk to others. Share what’s going on in your life. This will allow for a fresh perspective to your problems and encouragement to press on. TUNE INTO YOUR BODY: Mentally scan your body to get a sense of how stress is affecting your body daily and what can be done to change it. DECOMPRESS: Place a warm compress around your neck and shoulders for 10 minutes or so and just relax those muscles and massage away the tensions of the day. These are just a few to get you started. As always, if your “mood swings” persist contact your primary care physician. He or she can evaluate you to make sure that medication or another is not the cause of your symptoms. Don’t do this alone!! There are counselors available through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Their 24 hour crisis hotline is 800.273. TALK. They will put you in contact with counselors in your local area that can help immediately. There’s a plethora of resources available, please take advantage of them!! ✖
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40zROCK / FOOD
NEW YEAR’S DIET DETOX GREEK YOGURT has twice as much protein as other yogurts. It takes longer to leave your stomach, keeping you satisfied longer. CINNAMON may have a stabilizing effect on blood sugar levels as some studies suggest. This could curb your appetite, particularly in people with type 2 diabetes, Bonci says. Nearly everyone can benefit from cinnamon in its traditional role. Stir some into your coffee, tea, or yogurt to add sweetness without adding calories. APPLES & PEARS are also high in water content. Eat them with the peels for extra fiber, which will keep you full longer. Go for whole fruits rather than fruit juice. You’ll get more fiber, and you have to chew the fruits. This takes longer and you’ll burn a few calories chewing, as opposed to gulping down a smoothie.
webmd.com
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If you’ve been busy decking the halls with plenty of rich meals, sweet desserts, and alcohol, chances are, you’re feeling ready for a major diet detox right about now— Checkout this helpful list of foods that will help you Fight the Fat along with some facts about how they work.
RAW VEGETABLES make an outstanding snack. They satisfy the desire to crunch, they’re full of water to help you feel full, and they’re low in calories. Half a cup of diced celery has just eight calories. Coat celery with a little peanut butter or dunking carrots in salsa. When you’re in the mood for chips and dip, replace the chips with raw veggies. SWEET POTATOES baked are so full of flavor, they don’t need a lot. Think of the typical toppings on your baked potato — butter, sour cream, maybe cheese and bacon bits. If you substitute a sweet potato, you might not need any of that. This can save you loads of calories. As a bonus, sweet potatoes are packed with potassium, beta carotene, vitamin C and fiber. BEANS are a vegetable, a protein, and a great source of fiber. You feel full for very few calories. Open a can of garbanzo beans (chickpeas) and toss them into soup or salad or mash them up to use as a dip. One cup packs 12 grams of fiber, just 4 grams of fat and 15 grams of protein. ✖
Stop wasting 30% of your lipstick! Lil’MorStix is the groundbreaking new product that enables women to capture more of their cosmetics. We toss a third of our lipstick out with the old tubes, wasting 30% of our investment. Lil’MorStix’s state of the art design allows you to reclaim that 30% in an attractive and easy to use tube. Now your pocketbook can look as good as you do.
Economical. Reclaim 30% of your cosmetics. Easy. Just twist and use. Efficient. Extract lipstick from old tubes in 2 minutes. Eco-Friendly. Keep wasted cosmetics out of landfills.
www.lilmorstix.com
40zROCK / ENTERTAINMENT
9th Annual And 40z Rock was in Los Angeles to capture it all....The Taste of Soul Los Angeles features a taste of all things “soulful� including food from local restaurants, live entertainment, displays from local artists, and exhibits from local businesses and organizations. The Taste of Soul is a free familyfriendly event that takes place on Crenshaw Boulevard between Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Boulevard and Rodeo Road.
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A Teacher A Day delivers
K.U. D.A
Kind, Unselfish, Deliberate Acts
Z nominat e your favorite teach e r Go to www.Facebook.com/ATeacherADay
Change the World...Mentor a Child!
40zROCK / Q&A With Mia
Let's Get It (W)right! Mia inspires people to embrace spiritual change and live fulfilling lives. Here, she answers your questions.
ve a major for 2 years. I ha ed ri ar m n ee we were datI have b phone. When ll Q Pastor Myiahu ce s hi d an he is married, sband , but now that ne issue with m ho p s hi on example. d a code ne. Give you an ho p ing, yes he ha s hi to e d d I wanted to ow the co code on it) an why can't I kn no e. s ha ch hi quires the cod dead (w phone and it re My phone was e th is e H . us ne to , so, I go to use your pho use his phone ur code I need yo t's ha code in! Excuse w y d he puts the I asked, hone an ne ho p e ay when my ng me th some sort of w el reply, okay bri fe I hy ld ou sh hone code? W dering wife his cell p s me but I'm won hi he ng Is lli ? te re m he proble ally going on husband has a me? What is re h it w is th e ar won’t he sh ng? hiding somethi
right ker Mia W al Spea
tor & Co-Pas
on
Motivati
ions that we ional presumpt ot em t an st in lly freely divulge other doesn’t nt A These arenuswua ca ifi gn si r hen ou l of these can book, emails, al think questio ce Fa , es on ph are never good n. Cell nships. Secrets this informatio tio la re r fo s m While there proble come exposed. become major be s ay w al ey ing cell phone and th erything includ in relationships ev e ar sh ho w r individual uples s maintain thei are plenty of co le up co r he ot des? Should codes, ve all his passco ha and other pass u yo ld ou Sh e both of you. right? swer is up to th space. Which is an ht e Th s? de co pass blish what is rig he have all your is what will esta r to he t ot an ch rt ea po t with ed upon, it is im Your agreemen nce that is agre O p. hi ns tio la for your re boundaries. respect those
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Do you have some life pressing que
stions you need to get answers to?
M F L
Ask Mia and get it (W)right!
Q
40z Rock I need some help with these new age parents out here! I have a seventeen year old son, who has a girlfriend who is also 17. The young lady is raised in a single parent home by her mother. I have a problem because my son wants to spend time over her house when the mother is at work or gone. Not to mention, my husband and I placed my son on punishment because he lied to us. He was suppose to be spending the night with his friend and instead he was at the girlfriends house all night. Me and my husband are livid. We have spoken to the mother about him being there and her reply, "We need to stop acting so bougie and stop trying to stop him from doing certain things because he is going to do them anyway." My question is why would a mother allow a seventeen year old boy to lay up in her house with her daughter? And what do you do when you try to keep your kids on the right track, and then you have to deal with this kind of mentality...
A
Seventeen years old? Yes, something is definitely wrong with this picture! This type of freedom for teenagers can lead to things that they aren’t prepared to handle mentally, emotionally, nor financially. I am not a judgmental person, but shame on this mother for seemingly not caring about her daughters current situation or future. If the daughter is home alone while the mother is working, perhaps the mother sees your son as providing a layer of security for her while she is at work. Either way, this is setting these teenagers up to make a big mistake. What can you do? If you don’t have influence with the girl nor with the mother, you must remain influential with your son. You and your husband need to continue to impress upon him the importance of his future, the necessity of him thinking long term and making good choices for now because they will impact his future. While you are upset because he lied to you, try your best to keep the lines of communication open with the three of you. You asked what do you do when you try to keep your kids on the right track? The truth is, you have to trust what you have deposited into him over the years and continue to remind him of the value and self worth that he has. You will never be able to force someone out of a relationship, but you can guide them by reminding them of who they are and the value that they bring to any relationship. I am sure that he has a bright future ahead of him. Stay determined to see that come to pass.
Q Mrs. Wright my husband and I have been married for 15 years. I often fin d myself getting upset with my him, because he doesn't we ar his wedding ring. He said he lost the ring. I asked him, " well if the ring was on your finger how did you loose it?" So, I bought another rin g and sure enough it ended up mi ssing. I'm trying not to just go to the left on him because, I'm upset and I feel as thoug h he for some apparent reason doesn't want to wear on e. I would love to get your advice so hopefully I can hand le this the right way. Please Help! A When a couple takes their wedd ing vows and repeats the words, “with this rin g, I thee wed…” it become s a promise between husband, wife and God symbolizing the ir marriage covenant. The history of the ring is quite interesti ng in that historically, the giving of a ring symbolized “owne rsh ip”, in other words, the groom and the bride were publi cly sta ting that they belonged to on e another. The ring itself , created from a precious metal, is one to not be tarnished or faded, its shape reminds us of the perpetually of love tha t should continue. There is value in wearing a wedding rin g… it symbolizes to others that thi s person is taken. The we ari ng of a wedding ring reminds the wearer of how precious love should be, but honestly doesn’t make that perso n any more or less married. If that pe rson is unfaithful, then it doesn’t matter if they wear a rin g or not. Whatever the rea son may be, some people make a choice not to wear the rin g. Regarding your husband, I wond er if this is a new action for him to not wear his ring, or is thi s a long standing habit tha t bothers you? You and your husb and should have an hone st dis cussion about why he doesn’t we ar his wedding ring and what is your expectation for him . A lot of presumptions can be read into the situation, but wi thout an honest convers ation, that is not fair to either of yo u. An honest dialogue wi ll help the two of you to come to an agreement on his ring ha bits and an understanding reg arding his commitment to your marriage. ✖
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40zROCK / BEAUTY
Easy on the EYES by Kimberly Evans-Handy
In case you haven’t noticed we are in the midst of an eyelash craze. We all know at least one woman who wears either the full eyelash strips or the individual eyelash extensions. This enhancement creates a level of drama that mascara alone cannot duplicate. In the past we would only consider false eyelashes for special occasions such as a party, photo shoot, special event, wedding, etc. But nowadays women are wearing them just because. Have you jumped on this bandwagon? Do you prefer the full strips or the individual lashes? Do you like your lashes natural looking or will full on drama – thick and long? Let’s take a look at the comparison between the strips versus the individual lashes.
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Strip lashes are false eyelashes
individual lash extensions. Also during
cerns that neither method is sterile and
applied with an adhesive or glue across
the course of a day the adhesive could
both have the capacity to trap bacteria.
the entire eyelid. These are not meant
loosen and you are left with a dangling
This can lead to eye infections.
to be worn more than one or two con-
lash – very unattractive.
secutive days. They are also not meant
In comparison, individual lash
extensions use adhesives. These adhe-
to be worn when sleeping, swimming
extensions are put on by a professional,
sives can in rare instances cause allergic
or showering. Remember, the adhesive
typically by someone holding a certifi-
reactions. Such an allergic reaction can
is touching your eyelid skin therefore
cation as an Eyelash Extensionist. This
cause swelling and irritation due to
being absorbed.
professional service can cost anywhere
formaldehyde in the adhesive glue.
from $100-$500. The Extensionist typi-
are great for people who have very
cally sets their own rates. Refills will need
extensions can cause damage to your
sparse or short natural lashes. These are
to be done at least monthly as the lashes
natural lashes. Doctors across the board
also an essential for those who have no
shed and this could cost $50 and up.
will recommend only using mascara to
natural lashes. False eyelash strips are
enhance your own natural lashes The
very affordable and accessible rang-
lashes. They come in silk, synthetic, and
intent of lash extensions and strips is
ing from $1.00 a set to a higher end of
mink. They are not applied to the eyelid,
not for long term or extended use but
$16.00 sets. There are even more avant-
they are instead glued to the individual
for special occasions. I have personally
garde fantasy style false lashes that can
lashes. Individual lash extensions last the
seen women where lash strips for days
be priced in the $95.00 range. They may
life cycle of the person’s natural eye-
and even weeks at a time while the
come in different colors, with glitter or
lashes. When the natural eyelash sheds
adhesive is slowly eating away at their
tiny rhinestone embellishments. The
the extensions also fall off. This natural
natural lashes.
looks that can be created with strip
eyelash life cycle is around 30 - 45 days.
false eyelashes are quite varied. The
sonal preference if you want to invest
price and accessibility is a definite plus
sions vs. false eyelashes is that they do
in lash extensions or where the strips.
to false eyelash strips vs. individual
not have to be applied every day, some-
Always do your own research and then
eyelash extensions.
thing most women do not have the time
factor in the look you want to achieve,
or patience for. The disadvantages to
the time and money you have to invest,
would be the ease of application and the
extensions would be cost and variables
and lastly the pros and cons of each. ✖
ability to do it yourself in the privacy of
on how long they actually stay on vs.
your own home. A few of disadvantages
the investment.
would be they only last a short time,
you have to keep applying them and
lashes and individual eyelash extensions
their appearance is less natural than the
are very similar. Some doctors have con
Unlike individual lashes, strip lashes
Another advantage of eyelash strips
The prices also vary with type of
A positive aspect to eyelash exten-
Both false eyelash strips and lash
Both false eyelashes and individual
In the end it all boils down to per-
Health concerns for both strip eye-
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40zROCK / FASHION
LINGERIE:
Bring the Sexy Back to Your Relationship by Sandra Wyckoff
If there’s one thing that falls by the wayside is keeping it sexy for your man. As much as your partner may act like he is cool with your comfortable cotton
granny panties, odds are he is probably wanting and wishing for some unexpected spice. So why not take Valen-
tine’s Day as a time to inject a bit of sexy back into your relationship? If things
have gotten a little stale, here are some sexy looks to help you jumpstart some fun and excitement again. ✖
www.laperla.com
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40zROCK / HEALTH
Resolve to Be Realistic by Rebecca Johnson, Psy. D., PC
The winter holidays are past. Gift wrapping has been thrown away, the tree is coming down, and left overs are long gone. The house has been cleaned. Now you can focus on YOU and what you want to accomplish this year. No pressure, right? Now you only have to commit to losing 20 pounds, going to the gym five times a week, eating healthier, drinking less coffee, lowering your blood pressure, cleaning out the basement, finally painting that room, and getting a promotion…
times we just give in to general social
schedule. This can also be a convenient
pressure (women are expected to set
excuse (I was going to go to the gym,
goals to lose weight and be healthier).
but I had to pick up the kids and go
The problem with this is that if you
to the grocery store, and by the time
aren’t doing it for you, you won’t be
dinner was made I just didn’t have the
very motivated to do the hard work and
energy!). The more goals you set, the
follow through. Motivation is a major
harder it will be to find the time and en-
predictor of success: motivated people
ergy to attend to those goals. It can also
will try harder and push past barriers
feel overwhelming having to remember
Before you set yourself up for failure, and
while unmotivated people are more
everything you’re supposed to do.
the self-loathing and depression that
apt to give up when things get tough.
is sure to follow, consider how realistic
If you are making a healthy choice for
your goals are, and who you’re doing
someone else, try to find a way to truly
them for. Here are three tips to help you
embrace the change by focusing on how
set realistic goals and accomplish them
it will benefit you.
without stressing yourself out:
3. CONSIDER DIVIDING YOUR GOALS INTO SMALLER, SUB-GOALS. Setting a large goal like “losing 15 pounds” or “going to the gym five days a week” when you never went before can
2. ONLY SET A FEW GOALS FOR THE YEAR
be daunting. Instead, set smaller goals,
Life is already busy, and making changes
ting to the gym at least twice a week.
Often times we feel pressured to
takes work. Any new endeavor will take
You’ll feel more accomplished as you hit
do things we think will make other
time to adjust to, and at first you might
‘mile markers’ instead of spending all
people happier or proud of us. Some-
feel like there simply isn’t time in your
year working towards a large goal. ✖
1. DECIDE WHY YOU ARE SETTING THE GOAL
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like losing two pounds a month, or get-
Live at Aloft Every 3rd Friday Live at Aloft Hotels Sip on specialty cocktails, munch on a snack-attack menu and listen to cool tunes. Rock out with live acoustic performances by the hottest, emerging artists or get your groove on with eclectic beats from sassy dj mixes.
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Š2014 Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Preferred Guest, SPG, Aloft and their logos are the trademarks of Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, Inc., or its affiliates.
40zROCK / RELATIONSHIPS
Why Am I Still Single? by Kim Bady
Another year has passed and I’m still
so, but my journey is just that, my jour-
self-care, limitless freedom and growth
single. However, is it necessarily a bad
ney and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
in my personal and professional life
thing? It seems like it’s a very bad thing
I’ve learned something from everyone
since dedicating more time to my life
when I’m asked the dreaded question,
I’ve encountered from the awful dates to
life’s work.
“Why are you still single?” I hate that
the love interests. They were all mirrors
question, because it suggests that there
for me to see myself in and believe you
my Zen space, I love the rhythm I have
is something wrong with me. That ques-
me; I’ve learned plenty about myself.
with life, and I won’t allow anything or
tion is accompanied with a look of pity
I’ve faced my pain, dealt with anger
anyone to disturb that. Does loneliness
(for being beautiful, smart and success-
issues and addictions I didn’t know I
appear at times? Loneliness is a human
ful but unable to get and keep a man).
had. So being single has been necessary
emotion and every now and then, the
for my personal development and the
emotion will come; but as quickly as it
unconscious belief is that you are not
evolution of my soul.
comes, I watch it go. It doesn’t linger
yet complete or fully happy until you are
long at all, because I don’t have time for
romantically attached and your social
a gift. Not only have I gotten to know
it. I’ve learned to be intentional about
media relationship status changes. In
the real and authentic me, I’ve had the
living. I make an appointment with life.
addition, it doesn’t matter if you are con-
opportunity to take advantage of exten-
I look forward to something every day.
tent with where you are in life; someone
sive travel for weeks at a time and I loved
It could be the smallest thing such as
will remind you that you’re still single.
every bit of the adventures I’ve had over
taking a walk on a beautiful day, watch-
On the other hand, you will be reminded
the years. I’ve discovered that being
ing the sun set, sitting near the water,
when your friends are all coupled up and
single offers a freedom of just being and
practicing yoga, taking a dance class,
you didn’t get an invitation to that party.
living that is often difficult to attain in a
taking a long bath, using a new candle
relationship, although not impossible.
or body cream. It can even be something
years ago while going through divorce, I
big like going on an exotic trip, learning
didn’t think I would be single long. I ac-
focus on me, I have even gone on man
a new language or save for something
tually thought this mystery man would
fasts from time to time. A man fast is
and purchase it.
come along quickly and within the first
what I call a time out, all to myself for
two years, following my divorce; we
myself where I refrain from getting into
being single as a gift and a privilege and
would be married.
a relationship. It’s not about deprivation
not a holding pattern. I’m very much
of pleasure; it’s actually the opposite.
open to love and when it comes my way,
it has taken years of self-work to get to
When I’ve taken the time to focus on
I will embrace that too. Until then, I will
the healthy place I am right now. Could
me, I’ve experienced even more pleas-
continue my single woman escapades
that have happened with a man? Maybe
ure, the pleasure of a life of extreme
and adventures. ✖
I’m convinced that the collective
I’ve been divorced six years now and
I’m glad that didn’t happen, because
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I believe that being single is actually
I’ve embraced my singleness. To
I love my life. I love my peace. I love
It is my hope that others will embrace
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40zROCK / EFFECTIVE PARENTING
My Teacher Hates Me by Cheri Alphonse Hayes, ED.S.
There are two sides to every story, and sometimes even three. It’s almost half-way through the school
perfect classrooms and definitely
next? Stay involved! Keep an open line
year and your child still does not seem to
no one-fix solutions for every situation.
of communication with the teacher. Talk
get along with their teacher. “My teacher
There are however, talented, creative, and
to your child “daily” about their experi-
always picks on me,” they complain. Or,
amazing individuals in your children’s
ence with the teacher. Maintain anec-
“Everybody else does it, but when I do
classroom that make everything look like
dotal notes on your child’s experiences,
it, I get in trouble!” Do these statements
and feel like perfection. They are trained
your communication and outcomes of
sound familiar? Better yet, has your child
to handle mishaps. They are inven-
every event. Keep the administrator in
ever told you “My teacher hates me…?”
tive problem-solvers and they manage
the loop. Visit the school on a regular
Maybe, you had this experience in
disputes to the best of their ability within
basis. Schedule weekly or bi-weekly con-
school. Well… How did you handle it?
their power. So why isn’t your child get-
ferences to stay on top of things. Always
ting along with their teacher? Whose fault
hear both sides of the story. And most
is it? Is it anyone’s fault?
importantly, restrain yourself from get-
Teaching multiple personalities and learning styles is no easy task. Nor
ting out of control. Set the best example
does it get any easier when you include
It would be remiss of me, if I did not ask
behavior problems. With one major goal
you, what do you (as the parent) know
in mind: student achievement. How does
about both sides of the story?
At the end of the day, be your child’s
a teacher manage the entire class with-
✘ What triggered these feelings?
advocate and biggest cheerleader.
out conflict in personalities, addressing
✘ How long have they been going on?
However, do not lose sight of the situa-
“all” student needs and maintaining a
✘ Have you met with the teacher and student to conference on the situation?
tion at hand and know that it takes two
✘ Is the guidance counselor or administrator at the school involved?
of your child, do not allow your child
positive, safe and enriching learning environment while creating constructive, purposeful outcomes? Magic, you say? Well, you’re absolutely right. This dreamlike classroom only exists
✘ Have you shared any interventions with your child or teacher on how to eliminate these feelings?
in the heads of individuals who are not
Now that we have answered the pre-
prepared to face reality. There are no
ceding questions honestly, what’s
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for your child!
to tango. Finally, while being supportive to believe they have won, but educate them on the strategies needed to get along with people in general, as this will not be the last issue they are faced in life. ✖
40zROCK / FORTY, FABULOUS & FREE
u SAY YES TO YOU by Stacy D. Wilson
By the generous age of 40, most women have signed on to an enormous amount of responsibility in the form of kids, a husband, and financial management. Even if you are like myself, and have not yet been inducted into that group, your possibly still carting some sort of responsibility. Career demands, aging parents, and extended family, like anything in life comes with a price. So, with all of the responsibilities and expectation that come with flowing into 40s, it no surprise that most woman, neglect to take care of their single most important obligation‌themselves.
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Putting yourselves at the top of the list of
with the understanding of anyone but
ing him more likely to meet his equal as
people and things to care for may sound,
the receiver.
happy people attract happy people.
unrealistic or even worse incredibly self-
ish but it’s impossible to have a fulfilling
a liability to anyone else. It allows indi-
make themselves a priority, a certain
life without it. Love your Neighbor as
viduals to come into relationships whole
personal power seems to be unleased.
yourself sounds simple enough but even
and complete. This idea makes me think
An individual standing firmly with God is
with its straightforwardness sometimes
of one of my handsome and successful
really the only force necessary in acquir-
this idea is misunderstood. Modestly
male friends in Los Angeles. My forward
ing true happiness. Some women may
put the scripture implies that we should
thinking self-sufficient friend goes all out
debate that there are some things that
love ourselves first and earnestly and out
in making his own meals as if he were
trump their own personal needs. One
of the overflow of love for ourselves, one
preparing it for a date. He takes his time
example might be children, but to those
should love others no less than in the
to cook his favorite foods sparing no
women I might ask to think about the
same fashion. Self-love births a multi-
attention to detail. He sets the table with
power they have as a role model in their
tude of blessings in the form of happi-
the best dishes he has, that most people
children’s lives. Children are the best
ness, confidence, peace of mind and
would save for the “good” company. He
imitators, so when they see Mom ne-
the ability to make better decisions and
even lights beautifully scented candles
glecting herself mentally, physically, or
applaud other people’s happiness.
that make him feel relaxed. Topping it all
even Spiritually, which translates to her
off with stimulating music to enhance
not being worthy of her own attention,
importance of loving myself I probably
the experience…and no, he is not gay.
they may in turn, neglect themselves
wouldn’t have made a choice to build
After learning how he caters to himself,
in the same fashion. This could be a set
a life in China. There were many other
it came as no surprise that he has treated
up for attracting abusive relationships
choices I could have made as well as
other women he cares about with the
down the road. With this in mind loving
voices in the background trying to con-
same level of attention. To say the least
yourself is the basis for teaching others
vince me to forego my dream of moving
whoever he chooses to settle down with
how to love you and it also sets the bar
to this faraway exotic land. However,
would be a very special, spoiled lady.
for expectations within relationships. So
because I love myself, no one’s voice
But more importantly, he isn’t waiting
before one wears themselves thin from
was more powerful or important than
on someone to connect with him before
saying yes to every project, say yes to
my own. Besides, I understood the truth.
he seeks getting his needs met. He is
yourself and know that in saying yes to
God individualizes his plan for every one
instead, choosing to create happiness for
you, everyone wins. ✖
of us and it doesn’t have to correlate
himself by meeting his own needs mak-
If it were not for understanding the
Loving yourself also mean not being
When one makes the choice to
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40zROCK / TRAVEL
ROMANTIC GETAWAYS by Jacquie Parish
Couples looking for a romantic atmosphere of an adults only resort can unwind and embrace their most intimate passions while being secluded. Looking for the next hot spot to cuddle with your mate and get away from it all? Check out these secluded and romantic getaways.
k AITUTAKI LAGOON RESORT & SPA MOTU AKITUA, COOKS ISLAND
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s (1)
AITUTAKI LAGOON RESORT & SPA MOTU AKITUA, COOKS ISLAND
s MIHIR GARH STATE OF RAJASTHAN, INDIA
Effortlessly exquisite—The sublime Aitutaki Lagoon Resort & Spa rests effortlessly on its own secluded, private island of Motu Akitua—the only private island resort in the Cook Islands. Just a 2 minute ride from the main island of Aitutaki by small private ferry, the isle of Motu Akitua is encircled by broad, expansive beaches the colour of champagne. Nothing will prepare you for the intensity, the vibrancy, the omniscience, of the lagoon's blue expanse. So intense, so expansive, it is not just a colour you see, it is a blue you feel with every fibre of your being. Staying at The Aitutaki Lagoon Resort & Spa, you will have the opportunity not just to see Aitutaki Lagoon as a day tourist might, but to really experience this true Wonder of the World in all its moods.
k (2)
MIHIR GARH STATE OF RAJASTHAN, INDIA
The Mihir Garh is an exclusive nine suite boutique hotel where each room offers you more than 1700 sq.ft. of pure luxury. The private terraces, courtyards, plunge pools and Jacuzzi seem to whisper a single word: Indulge. Here, serenity and splendour come together to create an experience for you. While exotic drinks from your personal mini-bar become the manna for a sultry summer afternoon, the fireplace morphs into an intimate friend for wintry nights. You can pamper yourself with the variety of treatments available at Mihir Garh’s Tulsi Spa or rejuvenate at the poolside while watching the endless deserts meditate with the horizons. The delectable cuisines too aim to please—from traditional to continental—to suit your palate. The Mihir Garh was voted the World’s Best Boutique Hotel 2013 and Best Most Extraordinary Hotel of the World 2014. ✖ 40ZROCK.COM
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Our 40zRock Journey...
40z ROCK 2014 was a year of amazing 40z women rockin’ sisterhood, community, charities and events.
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... over the years. 40ZROCK.COM
/
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My 40’z Life
Rebecca King Crews by Sandra Wyckoff
Singer, actress, producer, mother and wife of actor and former NFL player Terry Crews. 40z Rock was honored to have an opportunity to sit down with Rebecca and find out first hand why her 40z Rock! My 40’z
WHAT I KNOW People say it takes a village to raise kids, but what I know is it takes a village to raise a dream.
My 40’z
BEST PART OF LIFE NOW Loving my life and not caring who cares
My 40’z
FAVORITE WAY TO SPEND A DAY OFF Lounging by the pool with hubby and the kids
My 40’z
THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE 25 years of marriage to the love of my life. My prayer was to be more of a success at HOME than in the world. We had an agreement about what the partnership looked like. And he let me know “I gotcha!”
My 40’z
WHAT I’M THANKFUL FOR When I married my husband I was serious about life. Meeting Terry allowed me to tap into the fun and adventurous side of my life. My openness allowed God to do something amazing between us. I was blessed to be a part of my husbands inspiring journey, until I gained enough confidence to pursue my own dreams.
My 40’z
WHY THEY ROCK Society doesn’t say it, but we’re (40z) the power brokers! There is no questions about it, we are the ones with the money and the ones making the major household purchasing decisions.
My 40’z
MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT Singing on the “The Bobby Jones Gospel Hour”
✖
/ Photography: Bobby B Photos / Makeup: Lamik / Hair: Paulette Pradia Prefinity Art Designs / Wardrobe: Rouge Boutique /
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Happy Anniversary 40z Rock!
r e w o p e h t e t a m . i t m s a e e r r e d d n a u h r e t i v w e n N a m o w e g a e l d d s i w e m r C . of a K a c c e b e R ~
40ZROCK.COM
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Cutting the Cord with CLASS by JeneĂŠ Pierre
There are so many inspirational t? quotes about Letting Go‌. As we embark on the closing of one year to go into a new year, this is a divine time and space to examine the need of letting go of certain people, ideas, situations and expectations to make room for new people, new ideas and so forth. Is it that we should completely let go of these things that were once played primary roles in our lives, or perhaps we should simply allow room for evolvement?
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If you were in a relationship with someone and they failed to
[4]
meet your expectations and fulfill your needs, cutting the cord
your Creator, and the Divine. Be clear about what you are
is not like a light switch, it’s a process for all parties involved. If
seeking and have requests that come from a place of love and
we are not careful of how we let go, we can step out of charac-
compassion. When you pray about someone else, it should be
ter, make emotional decisions and step out of class.
positive intention; this is what will be returned to you. Don’t
PRAY: Praying is your intimate conversation with God,
pray for negative as that will also be returned to you. Most Here are 7 steps to consider as you prepare to cut the cord in what sometimes can be emotional chaos…with class.
importantly, only pray when you are your most sincere because
[1] PUT UP THE MIRROR: In all things, it starts and ends with
[5]
you. Be courageous enough to ask “how did I attract this in my
your thoughts to receive the messages the Divine has for you.
life?” To answer this question is to give you the insight to at-
If you are new to meditation, there are many different types of
tract more desirable situations. It is important for you to make
meditation and tools, CD’s, and Guided Meditation classes to
yourself accountable for all decisions that you make…even the
get you going. The benefits are invaluable and have a holistic
ones that had less desirable results.
impact for your mind, body and spirit.
[2] REMEMBER THE BLAME GAME IS LAME: If you cut the
[6]
cord while spewing off what you hate about that, him or her-
ber to be thankful for what this person has taught you. Some of
this becomes the energy you step into with him, her or what-
our best teachers are our ex’s and to admit and receive that is
ever situation you’re trying to let go of. Eventually it weighs
tap within the most sacred places within us. They will always
down on you and bitterness may follow you. So you have to
be a part of your history and you decide how that will affect
cut the cord, but it is still hanging on and dangling with you
your future.
and there is nothing cute about that. Before you can let go of the situation itself — you must first let go of your emotions that are attached to it.
[3]
that is when you are your most powerful.
[7]
MEDITATE: Meditating is when you are still and silence
BE GRATEFUL: Even though you are moving on, remem-
LOVE HARDER: If the previous steps were taken, this last
one will be a breeze. Cut the cord with love. When the umbilical cord is cut after a baby makes her entrance into the world,
HONOR YOUR EMOTIONS: Yes, I know I just said you
she is officially entering into a new realm of life. As much as
have to let them go. However, this is also a process. Don’t hide
her time in her mother’s womb will forever be a part of who
the fact that you are hurt or disappointed, however, don’t
she is, it is no longer just her mom that she will experience; she
harbor on them either. Be present with your emotions and
will now experience the world. There is a beautiful world out
acknowledge them and then allow them to pass on. As real as
there waiting to receive you and create new experiences for
they are, emotions are like the winds, they are forever changing
you, you will get from the world what you put in. You always
and if you become too attached you may miss out on the
win with love and the harder you love, the harder the world
next season.
will love on you. ✖
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MY CHILD
COMES FIRST by Mena Freeman
In my last article entitled ”What about my kids” we addressed how and when is it appropriate to integrate children into a new relationship. This apparently opened up a discussion of a very sensitive topic. Let’s talk about it.
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❝
There are not many issues between a man and woman who care about each other that cannot be worked through.
❞
Singles men, have you ever been told by your date that
“my child comes first”, even before you have had a chance to
with their homework, play with them and put them to bed
get to know her? Have you been told immediately that “if my
yourself as much as possible. However, find yourself a good
child doesn’t like you then I won’t have you”? Or, how about “I
babysitter. Get to know someone who you can call on when
don’t let any man discipline my child”. Although, you have not
your date wants to take you on an adult outing. Your kids did
yet met the child. Hmmm.
come first, because you have made sure that they are safe,
cared for and loved. Next it is time for your date to come first.
As a single parent, I recall telling men who were interested
If you have small children, of course you should help them
in dating me that “my daughter comes first”. Looking back, I am
not really sure why I felt compelled to say that immediately. I
divorced or widowed you still have to be respectful to their
hope that I did not sound as rude as I now believe it did.
mother. I believe this more so if you are a widow. No kid wants
to think of another woman using their deceased mothers
In particular, I recall a very nice man who was all a woman
With that said, what if your children are adults? If you are
would wish for in a relationship. He was thoughtful, romantic,
“things”. If there is something in the house that your daughter
responsible and successful. But, I insisted upon taking my five
or son feels is mother’s special item, give it to them! That way,
year old daughter with us if he took me to lunch, dinner etc. I
there is no stress between the new lady and your child over
realize now that it was not at all fair to him. Yes, my daughter
that item. Both parties feel respected. You put your new love
was cute, funny and precocious. But, she was five. It was totally
interest “first” in this situation and you put your child “first”
inappropriate. This man was completely impressed and enter-
as well.
tained by my little genius kid, often planning dates explicitly
to include her. Many times, instead of taking me to dinner and
that each situation is unique. There could be extenuating cir-
dancing, he took us to find shells at the beach or the natural
cumstances such as a special needs child or perhaps your adult
history museum. I always told him “my child comes first”. He
child has a debilitating disease. Perhaps a person works an odd
respected that. But he didn’t stick around.
shift. The balancing act could be tricky at best. My “go to” is
always try and put yourself in the place of the other person. Be
In retrospect, was that fair to him? I have to answer NO
We have covered a very sensitive subject. Keep in mind
it was not at all fair to him. In order to build a relationship
sensitive to their needs without neglecting your children. I do
between a man and a woman there has to be some privacy. We
not believe that a good mother or father needs to say “I put my
should have an opportunity to get to know one another with-
kid first”. If you are a responsible parent it is obvious. No need
out anyone else being involved. No one, including children.
to sound hostile. The type of parent you are is usually apparent
Ok, I said it. When dating someone new, whether you are male
on first sight. What takes time is allowing someone find out the
or female, there has to be opportunity to get acquainted. See
kind of person you are.
if you have any chemistry. Make sure that you like each other
before introducing anyone else, especially children. Otherwise,
between a man and woman who care about each other that
it is not fair to anybody. Not fair to you, your date or the kids.
cannot be worked through. ✖
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40ZROCK.COM
We all want to feel special. There are not many issues
a a a a a Ha ha hha Ha Ha Ha Ha hha ha Ha Ha Ha HHa ha ha Ha Ha HHa Ha ha ha Ha Haa a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha H Ha Ha haa ha Ha Ha Ha Haa ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha HH Ha Ha h a ha Ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha h a ha Ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha h a ha Ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha h a ha Ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha h a ha Ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha a a a Ha Ha hha ha Ha Ha Ha HHa ha ha Ha Ha HHa Ha ha ha Ha HHa Ha Ha ha ha Haa a Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha H a Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha H a Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha H Ha Ha Haa ha ha Ha Ha Haa Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha HH Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha H a ha ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha a a a Ha Ha HHa ha ha Ha Ha HHa Ha ha ha Ha HHa Ha Ha ha ha HHa Ha Ha Ha ha haa a Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha h a Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha h a Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha h Ha Ha Haa Ha ha ha Ha Haa Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha hh Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha H a Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha H a Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha H a Ha Ha ha ha Ha Ha Ha H a Ha ha ha Ha H Ha Ha H
LOL
God, Are You
LAUGHING AT ME? by Jacquie Parish
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a a Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha a Ha a Ha a Ha Have you ever asked God, “Are you laughing at me?” I a Harecently asked the exact question to God. Isn’t it funny Ha Hawhen our plans are not God’s plan? We take time to Ha Haplan strategically how we see our lives flowing and Ha HaGod turns around and says “let me show them how I a ” The Lord declares, “For my thoughts are not your Ha Hwork. a Ha Hthoughts, neither are your ways my ways. As the heava Ha Hens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher a your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” a Ha Hthan a 55:8-9 Isaiah a Ha H a a Ha AtHthis Ha point in my life, I never expected to be on this path; a Hahowever God knew the plans He had for my life. Who would Hathought ha Hahave at 46 I would be on an assignment in the Mida H a H a dle East living amongst some of the wealthiest people in the h HaGetting a chance to experience only what most people a ha H world. a Haof; living and working abroad. Since arriving in the ha Hdream Middle East (August 2012), I have had a chance to visit Dubai, Qatar and experience a very unique culture of people. This was definitely not my plan. So while I am trying to figure out how and why God is sitting back chuckling saying, “Jacquie my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways trust me I got your back!” To me my journey seemed impossible to man but God said that with me all things are possible for “ImPOSSIBLE”.
God specializes in the impossible (doing for us what we
cannot do). He will not do for us what we can clearly do with
just what I want’…is that not a manifestation of the abundant life? Doing what we were created to do and doing it with all our heart!
Have you ever thought about how we can do many things
without God (acquire wealth, start a business, get an education, etc.), but only in God’s will can we find true joy, fulfillment, and faithfulness. From time to time God will bring us to an ‘intersection’ in our life when an imminent change is obvious when He is about to open a new ‘chapter’ in our adventure! I think this is amazing how God orchestrates and navigates our lives! My father also taught us growing up that when the door of opportunity (new chapter) opens we must be ready to walk through it, never let it close because we will never get that opportunity again.
THE REVELATION When God reveals His plan for our lives how do we react? Do we kick and scream and say, “oh NO!” or do we accept His will and move forward? When we accept His plan for our lives how do we know that is the plan that God has for us? Let’s take a look: › It’s a desire that won’t let you go. › Y our destiny will be more than a job, it’ll be a joy. Yes there will be sacrifices but through it all you will say, like David, “I delight to do thy will, O my God.” (Psalm 40:8) What a way to live! ›Y our destiny will unlock your creativity. It will open doors and bring the right people to you. God’s purpose always carries with it God’s favor!
foster maturity, only He can design a future tailored to our
› Your destiny fulfilled is the only thing you will want to face God with. He won’t say ‘well done’ over the money you’ve made or the reputation you’ve built. He’ll only say it because you found and fulfilled His purpose.
unique needs, talents and gifts. John 10:10 says Jesus came
to give us abundant life. Thus, when the Lord reveals the next
and mine contains the very best of purpose, adventure, fulfill-
‘chapter’ prepared for us and we say, ‘Thank you, Lord, that is
ment, joy, and new lessons. ✖
our own Holy Spirit-empowered mind. Since only God, our Creator knows what will enable us to be fruitful, fulfilled and
That wonderful plan God has already designed for your life
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STOP THROWIN’ SHADE
B
by Merneen Spearman
Proverbs 10:9 // “Honesty lives confident and carefree, but Shifty is sure to be exposed.”
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➺ TEST YOURSELF
Answer these four questions regarding catching shade:
1. What do you do when someone is
Our main text of scripture is a slam dunk to this special subject.
throwing shade your way?
Women learning what the Word of God has to say about shadi-
2. How would you pray for them and rise
ness and dishonesty is the key to eliminating this behavior.
above the shade throwing?
Unfortunately, in the time that we live, there are women
3. Why do you think women throw shade
who do not know how to be honest and have a clingy desire
in the first place?
to participate in shady behavior. Whether they profess to be a
4. How can we prevent being a shade
Christian or not, this type of behavior is loose in both arenas.
thrower?
In this teaching, we will delve into the perimeters of
the scripture to post remedy to this type of behavior. And of course, we must first start with self-examination. Am I exemplifying shady behavior in my life, in any way? If so, just open your
thrown it, it was exposed. And it came back to haunt me. Con-
mind and heart to this teaching and the Word of God. And you
sequently, I’m writing this teaching to help my sisters in Christ
will be able to deal with yourself in this area and other women
know that there is a better way to do things, a better way to be
who you will come in contact with who’s functioning under
and a better way to live.
shadiness and dishonesty.
Honesty is morality, goodness, honor, directness,
You can’t live confident and carefree, throwin’ shade, it will
be exposed.
sincerity and fairness. All of these words are great words
that we can use to apply to this area. Know this, everyone does
is genuine. Test yourselves. Surely you know that Jesus Christ is
not live confident and carefree. Even in moments of shady
among you; if not, you have failed the test of genuine faith.”
behavior, because we have all had them, did you feel confident
and carefree about it? I’m quite sure that you did not. What
take the time to deal with ourselves. In the area of your rela-
shady behavior does is, it pulls the rug from under us. A person
tionships, church interactions, business, money and aspirations,
who is shady is always shaky and looking over their shoulders
Do you find yourself being dishonest about your motives, goals,
and wondering what is going to happen to them because of
way of doing things, paying bills on time, following spiritual
something that they’ve been shady about. Whether it is a debt
principles and laws or even in conversation? Have you faced
owed, an ugly word said, an underhanded deed, and that’s
the truth about your addictions, your thoughts, feelings of
just a tip of the iceberg regarding some of the shady stuff that
jealousy and pride?
women do, you will not be able to live carefree. As a result,
peace is forfeited and shady behavior can cause anxieties of
not even the worst of kind of shade, you have decided to be
all sorts.
this way. But, when we start throwing shade at others, that‘s
another situation altogether, both are not good in anyway.
The text teaches us that ”Shifty is sure to be exposed.” How
2 Corinthians 13:5 ”Examine yourselves to see if your faith
Are you a self-shade thrower? This is where we must
The sad thing is that we throw shade to ourselves. That’s
and when, we don’t know, but be assured that it will be. I’ve
Why throw shade to yourself or to anyone else, really? When
still yet to understand why we think that we will get away with
you are throwing shade to yourself, you won’t have a problem
throwin’ shade. I don’t know about you, but each time that I’ve
doing to someone else. ✖
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Did you Know that 32 Million Adults In The U.S Can’t Read? Go to www.40zrock.com and purchase your 2015 40z Rock Calendar and help us support Adult Literacy! A portion of the proceeds to benefit Neuhaus Education Center for Adult Literacy Scholarships.
π ●
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Sandra Wyckoff
WHO SHE IS
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WHAT I KNOW
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π 12 months of phenomenal women ROCKING their 40z fabulousness!
As a company, we’re taking another leap forward — as we proudly
This is big.
join forces with Sotheby’s International Realty. Backed by the name and resources of this legendary firm, we’re ready to bring the world’s most qualified buyers to your doorstep. Now more than ever...
I want to be your Realtor. Martha Turner | Sotheby’s International Realty associates are regarded within the residential real estate industry as the best and the brightest. Broker Associate Manley Nolan, whose resume includes a long list of impressive business and academic achievements, is known as an award-winning sales and market entrepreneur who is self-directed, analytical, organized, and articulate with exceptional problem-solving and decision-making abilities. As a Realtor with Martha Turner | Sotheby’s International Realty, Manley is an excellent “fit.”
Manley began his real estate career with The Woodlands Operating Company, LP, as a custom-home sales agent in 1989. For fifteen highly-productive years, he collaborated with custom homebuilders, The Woodlands Company, and prospective home buyers to ensure construction plans met The Woodlands’ building standards and prospective buyers’ expectations. Manley sold more than $380 million and established a strong referral network which still rewards him with repeat and referral business.
In 2004, Manley joined a national residential real estate firm’s office in The Woodlands and specialized in the high-end market. He sold more than $120 million dollars in four years and was recognized as the office’s top producer every year. Manley chose to join Martha Turner Properties in 2009 where his already successful career achieved new heights.
Manley received a Bachelor of Arts degree in business
Contact me for all your Real Estate needs.
MANLEY NOLEN
broker associate
832.493.0300 mnolen@marthaturner.com
administration form Antioch University, attended graduate level studies in administration at Central Michigan University, and received an Applied Arts and Science degree in real estate from North Harris County Community College. He also participated in professional development classes in the Jesse H. Jones School of Management and Executive Education at Rice University, specifically mergers & acquisitions and business valuation.
Welcome Home marthaturner.com
isease. d ’s n a m a It’s not just
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MAKE A CHANGE!
I Am My Sister’s Keeper (l to r): Geraldine, Founder of 40zRock Sandra & Misty
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Dear Prospective 40z Rocker, When you turned 40, what was the first thing that came to your mind? Honestly…Was it something like, “It’s all down-hill from here or I can now live MY life?” Whether positive or negative, did you realize there are billions of women asking themselves those same questions around the world? Better yet, did you know there was an organization Founded in Houston, Texas that tailored to the needs of women in their 40’z? YES… An organization where you can share empowerment, support, and make positive changes in your community. Women from all walks of life, all beautiful hues and tones, sizes and shapes with a positive outlook on life.The organization is 40’z ROCK, Founded by Sandra Wyckoff; a woman of class, couture, and culture. When she refers to a woman who ROCKS, she is distinctly referring to You, a woman who has done the work on herself, and has reached a level of awareness and balance; mentally, physically, and spiritually. She believes that once a woman has tapped into these areas of her life, then she ROCKS! And when she ROCKS, she can ROCK the world. We are looking for women who ROCK to join our movement. Are you a Rocker? We think so. It takes A Rocker, To Know a Rocker! If you know you have what it takes and would like to Rock the World with us, please visit www.40zRock.com to find out how become part of this growing movement.
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