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Savvy Senior: How Reverse Mortgage Works in 2014

55 PLUS Issue 52 August / September 2014

For Active Adults in Central New York

Judge Joe Fahey, 65, writes a book about his great-uncle, Syracuse’s youngest mayor

READY TO SWING

Women golfers achieve success on links with dogged determination

SALSA —WHY SHOULD YOU LEARN IT?


New attractioNs! old Favorites! timeless FuN

• competitions • demonstrations • milk • jugglers • events

moNday, auG. 25 & tuesday, auG. 26 admissioN is

EvEryonE 60 and ovEr gEts in frEE! enjoy music from Herman’s Hermits featuring Peter Noone at chevy court and Fritz’s Polka Band on the regional artists stage monday the 25th! come back again for Bowzer’s rock & roll Party at chevy court tuesday the 26th!

rEmEmbEr, kids 12 and undEr arE always frEE!

Aug. 21– Sept. 1, 2 014

s y r a c us e , n Y

Quick, cashless parking! e-Z Pass Plus accepted in the Brown and orange lots. learn more at e-zpassny.com.

n y s f a i r .or g

• agriculture

flowers • baked potatoes • concerts • wine • cheese • horses • families • excitement •

food • fun • exhibits • games • animals • fireworks • prizes • rides


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Lowville 7038 Route 12 (315) 376-0135 August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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CONTENTS

55 PLUS

55 PLUS

August / September 2014

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14 20 19

Savvy Senior 6 Financial Health 8 Gardening 10 My Turn 22 Life After 55 34 Golden Years 36 Aging 42 Druger’s Zoo 44 Consumers Corner 47 Judge Joe Fahey, 65, writes a book about his great-uncle, Syracuse’s youngest mayor. 4

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cny55.com

28

12 TRENDS

30 COVER

16 HISTORY

38 ATTITUDE

19 DANCING

40 WORKING

24 PROFILE

46 VISITS

• Losing memory, not a great thing about aging

• Retired Liverpool engineer digs deep into genealogy

• Salsa —why are more people, especially over 50 years of age, learning it?

• How busy is 97-yearold Ruth Colvin?

28 HAPPY DAYS

• At Waterloo’s Mac’s Drive-In, air of nostalgia is as genuine as it gets

• Growing number of women golfers achieve success on links

• Why today’s seniors differ from past generations

• More people who have the means to retire comfortably still go to work every day

• Ten great reasons to visit Boston


DeLaney

& O’Connor

7.25 x 5�

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August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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savvy senior By Jim Miller

H

Reverse Mortgage: How it Works in ‘14

ow much have reverse mortgage regulations changed this year? Quite a bit. Tighter rules on reverse mortgages that have recently gone into affect have made them harder to get, especially for seniors with heavy debt problems. The reason the Federal Housing Administration (FHA) made these changes was to strengthen the product, which has suffered from a struggling housing market and a growing number of defaults by borrowers. Here’s a rundown of how reverse mortgages now work in 2014. Overview — The basics are still the same. A reverse mortgage is a loan that allows senior homeowners to borrow money against the equity in their house. The loan doesn’t have to be repaid until the homeowner dies, sells the house or moves out for at least 12 months. It’s also important to know that with a reverse mortgage, you, not the bank, own the house, so you’re still responsible for property taxes, insurance and repairs. Eligibility — To be eligible for a reverse mortgage you must be at least 62 years old, own your own home (or owe only a small balance) and currently be living there. You will also need to undergo a financial assessment to determine whether you can afford to make all the necessary tax and insurance payments over the projected life of the loan. Lenders will look at your sources of income, assets and credit history. Depending on your financial situation, you may be required to put part of your loan into an escrow account to pay future bills. If the financial assessment finds that you cannot pay your insurance and taxes and have enough cash left to live on, you will be denied. Loans — Nearly all reverse mortgages offered today are Home Equity Conversion Mortgages (HECM),

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which are FHA-insured and offered through private mortgage lenders and banks. HECM’s also have home value limits that vary by county, but cannot exceed $625,500. See hud. gov/ll/code/llslcrit.cfm for a list of HUD approved lenders. Loan amounts — The amount you get through a reverse mortgage depends on your age, your home’s value and the prevailing interest rates. Generally, the older you are, the more your house is worth, and the lower the interest rates are, the more you can borrow. A 70-year-old, for example, with a home worth $300,000 could borrow around $170,000 with a fixedrate HECM. To calculate how much you can borrow, visit reversemortgage.org. Loan costs — Reverse mortgages have a number of up-front fees including a 2 percent lender origination fee for the first $200,000 of the home’s value and 1 percent of the remaining value, with a cap of $6,000; a 0.5 percent initial mortgage insurance premium fee; along with an appraisal fee, closing costs and other miscellaneous expenses. Most fees can be deducted from the loan amount to reduce your out-of-pocket cost at closing. In addition, you’ll also have to pay an annual mortgage insurance premium of 1.25 percent of the loan amount. Payment options — You can receive the money in a lump sum, a line of credit, regular monthly checks or a combination of these. But in most cases, you cannot withdraw more than 60 percent of the loan during the first year. If you do, you’ll pay a 2.5 percent upfront insurance premium fee. Counseling — All borrowers are required to get face-to-face or telephone counseling through a HUD approved independent counseling agency before taking out a reverse mortgage. Most charge around $125 to $250.

55PLUS Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto

Associate Editor Lou Sorendo

Writers

Deborah Jeanne Sergeant Laura Thompson, Aaron Gifford Sandra Scott, Mary Beth Roach Matthew Liptak, Suzanne Ellis Kristen Penfield

Columnists

Eva Briggs, M.D., Bruce Frassinelli Marilyn Pinsky, Harold Miller Jim Sollecito, David J. Zumpano Marvin Druger, Michele Reed

Advertising

Jasmine Maldonado Marsha Preston Jim Maxwell

Office Manager

Laura J. Beckwith

Layout and Design Chris Crocker

Cover Photo

Chuck Wainwright 55 PLUS –A Magazine for Active Adults in Central New York is published six times a year by Local News, Inc., which also publishes In Good Health–CNY’s Healthcare Newspaper. Published at 185 E. Seneca St. PO Box 276 Oswego, NY 13126. Subscription: $15 a year © 2014 by 55 PLUS – A Magazine for Active Adults in Upstate New York.

No material may be reproduced in whole or in part from this publication without the express written permission of the publisher. Third class postage paid at Syracuse, NY. Permit Number: 3071

How to Reach Us P.O. Box 276 Oswego, NY 13126 Phone: 315-342-1182 Fax: 315-342-7776 Email: editor@CNY55.com Editor@cnyhealth.com


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55 PLUS - August / September 2014

By David J. Zumpano

I

Is Your IRA Money Safe?

ndividual retirement accounts (IRAs) and other retirement accounts often make up a majority of the investments of senior citizens. But the question is: Are they protected from your creditors and predators? G e n e r a l l y, I R A s a n d o t h e r qualified funds (401Ks, Keoghs and the like) are protected under federal law and are outside the reach of your creditors, but the income distributed from them to you on a monthly basis may be exposed to your creditors and predators, depending upon the creditor. The issue that typically causes the most concern for seniors is the need to pay for the cost of long-term care. This includes care in the home, assisted living or a nursing home. If you seek Medicaid benefits to pay for your nursing home care, your IRA will generally be exempt and cannot be attached by Medicaid. The federal Medicaid law, however, provides an IRA is considered to be an available asset in determining your eligibility for Medicaid to pay for your nursing home costs. Additionally, if your spouse needs a nursing home, your IRA may be considered an available asset as well. While the federal law is clear, most states will not attack an IRA as long as it is in payout status. Payout status is when you are withdrawing regular payments from your IRA. This happens after age 70 1/2 when you begin receiving your required minimum distributions from your IRA. At that point, Medicaid will treat your IRA as an income stream, not as an available asset. The income you are drawing from your IRA will, however, be considered available in determining eligibility for both you and your spouse’s Medicaid eligibility. The amount of income derived monthly from the IRA will be included

in determining how much you would have to contribute toward you or your spouse’s cost of care. You would only have to contribute if the total amount of your income, including IRA distributions, exceeded $2,931.00. Another recent development regarding IRAs relates to inherited IRAs. Most individuals intend to leave their IRA to their children so their children will have the benefit of receiving it over their lifetime. A recent U.S. Supreme Court case heard in March (with a decision is expected soon) related to the protection of an inherited IRA. An inherited IRA is an IRA an individual inherits from another person. This would apply to those you leave your IRA to. There have been different opinions among federal district courts on whether inherited IRAs are protected from the creditors of the child (or a beneficiary who inherited it). Several federal districts concluded the inherited IRA is protected, while another federal district concluded it is not; the dispute will ultimately be decided by a pending U.S. Supreme Court decision. Regardless of the decision of the U.S. Supreme Court, it is imperative your IRA be properly included as part of your overall estate planning strategy. The best way to ensure your IRA gets to those you love without being attacked by creditors and predators is to properly designate your beneficiaries and to utilize specific estate planning techniques for IRAs that best suit your overall intentions and actually accomplish your goals. I encourage you to learn more at an upcoming free workshop, “How to Protect Your Stuff in Three Easy Steps.” David J. Zumpano is an attorney and a certified public accountant (CPA). He operates Estate Planning Law Center. He can be reached at 315-793-3622.


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Gardening By Jim Sollecito

Know More, Grow More

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55 PLUS - August / September 2014

y job is creating oxygen. I provide interesting landscape designs and offer signature plants with exceptional qualities. They should perform to their fullest potential in a given site when handled appropriately. Our planting and maintenance instructions are printed in color with descriptive drawings. We want you to succeed and feel good about your landscape. Even if you have plants from somewhere else, stop in and get the information you need from us. It’s free. Some trends are worth discussing. One is the current popularity of hydrangeas. This is the time of year to try one of the newer improved varieties. Fully 80 percent of the varieties I sell now weren’t available 20 years ago. If you don’t have hydrangeas someplace in your landscape, you are missing out on a ton of color. They can carry the weight of a landscape for the next three months. The paniculata varieties are easiest and hardiest. From Little Lamb to Vanilla Strawberry to the large and wonderful Great Star, they all produce flowers on new wood. That means if we endure another winter from Hades again, these hydrangeas will take a licking and keep on ticking. They bloom reliably and on schedule. I can offer proof in this photograph Megan took of our older daughter Hannah several years ago on Sept. 5. Many years before that I planted this lovely Pee Gee hydrangea to celebrate our anniversary. Very dependably, this voluptuous bloomer will deliver armloads of flowers on our anniversary every Sept. 5. And our neighborhood shares the experience. That’s cool. Studying bonsai in Japan one winter I found that every aspect of a plant can be dwarfed except the flowers or the fruit. That’s why some of the more compact plant varieties we carry are so full of color they appear

Daughter Hannah in a photo taken by mom Megan Sollecito. Every September we count on seeing an explosion of colors thanks to how reliably and on schedule hydrangeas bloom. to be exploding. You’ve got to check out Little Lime hydrangeas or Quick Fire or Sweet Summer. All rugged and sturdy, all loaded with flowers every year from July through October. You can just about set your clock by them. To enhance your success rate, consider incorporating 30 percent compost to the area, carefully worked into the existing soil. Compost creates soil aggregates and allows soil to hold nutrients and water better. It also allows for better air pores which root hairs just love to penetrate. Healthy roots, healthy shoots. I like to say “Compost is the answer. What is the question?” Or to paraphrase Alec Baldwin, “What’s in your soil?” So if your landscape isn’t all you envisioned, maybe this is the time to add some significant color. And that is one trend we can enthusiastically endorse. Go ahead, plant something! Jim Sollecito is the first lifetime senior certified landscape professional in NYS. He operates Sollecito Landscaping Nursery in Syracuse. Contact him at 468-1142 or at jim@sollecito.com.


Social Security

Q&A

Q: How do I know if I have enough work to get Social Security disability benefits? A: The easiest way to find out is by reviewing “My Social Security” to see how many credits you already have. If you don’t have a “My Social Security” account, you may create one at www.socialsecurity.gov/ myaccount. To get benefits, you must have worked long enough — and recently enough—under Social Security to qualify for disability benefits. Social Security work credits are based on your total yearly wages or self-employment income. You can earn up to four credits each year. The amount needed for a credit changes from year to year. In 2014, for example, you earn one credit for each $1,160 of wages or self-employment income. When you have earned $4,640, you’ve earned your four credits for the year. The number of work credits you need to qualify for disability benefits depends on your age when you become disabled. Generally, you need 40 credits. Twenty of the 40 must have been earned in the last 10 years, ending with the year you become disabled. However, younger workers may qualify with fewer credits. To learn more, see our Disability Planner at www.socialsecurity.gov/dibplan. Q: I am applying for Extra Help with Medicare prescription drug costs. Can state agencies help with my Medicare costs? A: When you file your application for Extra Help with Medicare prescription drug costs, you can start your application process for the Medicare Savings Programs — state programs that provide help with other Medicare costs. When you apply for Extra Help, Social Security will send information to your state unless you tell us not to on the application. Your state will contact you to help you apply for a Medicare Savings Program. Learn more about how Social Security can provide Extra Help with your Medicare prescription drug costs by visiting www.socialsecurity. gov/prescriptionhelp. August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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trends Bad Brain Days 55+

While there are many advantages to aging, losing a sharp memory isn’t one of them

By Laura Thompson

I

have always prided myself on my memory. It’s a good memory, able to recall details and days long forgotten to others. It’s both a blessing and a curse, because while I can recall days gone by with great affection, unfortunately I also remember every slight, insult and embarrassment ever suffered. So you might think I might welcome a little memory loss as I age. And well I might, if I were forgetting the slights and insults. But no, it’s names. It’s where did I leave my reading glasses, keys, lipstick, shoes. It’s what was the name of that street, and what day is my sister’s birthday. Facts and locations once easily at my disposal now confound me or require a lot more attention and time than they used to. And while I used to easily memorize new phone numbers, carrying in excess of 50 at my disposal in my memory, I now find myself searching my mental files for older numbers I’ve called for 40 years. This is unnerving, to say the least. We all chuckle over it, but I at least am secretly terrified. Experts tell us we have a certain number of mental files in which we store memories. All of us have different file sizes and eventually those files fill. That means we either have difficulty storing new memories or we relinquish earlier memories we may have stored there. I hope this theory is wrong, because I don’t relish either option. I want to remember it all. Do I sacrifice the memory of my grandmother’s warm hands, softly scented with Jergens lotion, in order to remember a new security code? Do I forget the smell of the new-

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ly cut grass in the heat of summer in Vermont in favor of new passwords and access? Why can’t I remember both the yellow and white floral on gray print of a friends dress, at 16, her wide, dark eyes happy above the neckline — and the route to my new doctors? C’mon, brain, snap out of it. There are some who claim we can enhance and improve our memory with certain exercises and tricks. I’m throwing my lot in with them, unwilling to give up a single memory that I’ve held, retained all through these years. In my quiet moments,

I want to remember my daughter’s childhood cheek, warm and rosy, pressed to mine. I want to remember the curve of a dead lover’s smile, and the length of his body against mine. I still can recall a day so dazzling in its shades of blue, gold and white that I stood too long staring at the sky, suddenly assured of heaven. (I was 10, and I remember the warm wind blowing on my bare legs above my knee socks, the feel of my book bag in my hand, the corner on which I stood and stared,

skyward). Why should I willingly surrender even one of these? I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime, should you spot me wandering around muttering to myself, don’t worry. Just another bad brain day, and I’ve probably forgotten where I parked my car. Or left my mother… or something. No worries: eventually it’ll come back to me. I hope.


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If you’re eligible for Medicaid, and need any in-home long term health care services, there’s a new option available for you. Now you can choose a managed long term care plan, like VNA Homecare Options, to receive the assistance and services you need. VNA Homecare has served this community for over 100 years. We are the organization you can trust to coordinate the services you need to stay safe, independent and in your own home – not a nursing home.

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Savvy Senior: How

Rosie’s Tavern

to Fight Age Discrimin

55 ation

Retir

ement At 88 Rose Anthon y still In South France in charge of tavern , she the mountains between founded 47 years and the ago Mediterranean

PLUS Issue 51 • June

/ July 2014

Stories and articles about local people, events and locations... by local writers!

Don’t miss a single issue - subscribe today! CNY’s hottest mod els More CNY resid ents over the age 55 are obtaining mod eling jobs IS REVERSE MORTGAGE

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55 PLUS - August / September 2014

Get in touch with us to schedule a tour and learn more.

Walk Your Way to Better Health More than 25 years of research has shown that walking may be the single best exercise you can do to improve your health. It burns calories (about 100 for every mile you walk) which will help you lose weight, it builds endurance, enhances muscle tone and it doesn’t pound your joints. It also helps improve or prevent many age-related health problems including high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, osteoporosis and dementia. But walking is not only good for what ails you. It’s also one of the easiest and most convenient exercises you can do, and is completely free. All you need is a good pair of walking shoes that fit well and a little desire. Here are a few tips to help you get started. • Start walking — Start out slow if you need to. For many people this means head out the door, walk for 10 minutes, and walk back. Do it every day for a week. If that seems easy, add five minutes to your walks next week and keep adding five minutes until you are walking as long as you desire. It’s also a smart idea to start and finish your walk with a few simple warm up and cool down stretches. Stretching will make you feel better and help prevent injury. • How far — Any walking is better than none, but most fitness professionals recommend walking about 30 minutes, five days a week. Research has shown that the 30 minutes can be broken up throughout the day — 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. Or, for optimal health benefits aim for 10,000 steps per day, which is the equivalent of about five miles. • How fast —The right walking speed depends on your fitness level. Ideally you should walk at a brisk pace that has you breathing heavily, but you are still able to carry on a conversation. (By Jim Miller)


cc.55half_Layout 1 7/15/14 1:29 PM Page 1

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55+

history

The Genealogy Man Retired Liverpool engineer devotes years to trace his family’s roots to Italy and in the process writes a book that can help other ItalianAmericans research their past By Aaron Gifford

D

an Colasanti Sr. doesn’t think of himself as a genealogy buff. And yet, he’s laid the groundwork that could help hundreds of Italian-American Central New Yorkers trace their ancestry. Colasanti, a retired General Electric engineer, became interested in genealogy five years ago after conversing with a younger cousin at a wedding. They had the same last name but were still fairly distant relatives. Colasanti wanted to get a better understanding of just how big his extended family was, so he decided to sketch a family tree. From there, Colasanti’s interest in the field exploded. “I was more interested in why they came. Who did they bring? What did they do when they got here?” Colasanti asked. As he thought more about it, the questions became more plentiful and more detailed: What was it like in the old country before they decided to emigrate? Were their parents and

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siblings deceased when they came? Who did they leave behind and did they ever see those they had left behind again? What was their sea travel time? How did they cope with the ship accommodations and services? How much money did they have on them when they came? How did they decide to settle in Central New York? How did they meet their spouses? How many children did they have, and what were the names of the children? Do they still have property in the old country? All three of Colasanti’s children had been to Italy before and met some distant relatives on their mother’s side of the family after Dan Jr. completed some initial family research in 2003. But even though the project was already started, Colasanti, 74, realized that the remainder of the work would be extremely time consuming. The retiree soon found himself putting nearly 40 hours a week into it. He ordered some microfilm tapes from the Mormon Family History Center in Utah, which included birth, marriage and death certificates of his wife’s [Gemma’s] ancestors, and set up shop at the organization’s local research center in Clay. “Basically,” said Colasanti, of Liverpool, “I was living there for awhile.”

Exploring the family tree The organizational skills Colasanti developed as an engineer played a major role in this project. He had no problems sorting documents and putting together Power Point presentations that he could share with others. As the pieces started coming together, Colasanti found he was hooked on detective work. “It was an incurable disease,” he said. “Maybe because it’s fun, but also because it’s self-rewarding.” That’s not to say the work wasn’t frustrating at times. The Mormons did not have many documents from the area where Colasanti’s ancestors came from, which is near Rome. That’s when he decided to focus entirely on his wife’s family. “That gave me plenty to do,” he recalled. “Before you know it, as you get an answer to one question, it opens the door to another question. I thought it would take a month. It morphed into two years.”

He found out Gemma’s ancestors left the Italian city of Podargoni for farming jobs in the United States. Some went on to work in West Virginia coal mines before moving to the Syracuse area for utility jobs with Niagara Mohawk. As part of the project, Colasanti and Gemma visited Syracuse neighborhoods and took photographs of the places her parents and other relatives lived after 1929. Since Colasanti had uncovered the path of many Podargoni residents, he decided to expand it to everyone from that city who came to the United States around the time of his grandparents. His complete body of research spanned from 1809-1910. He befriended a genealogy buff in Podargoni, Vincenzo Curaci, and they worked together via email using a Google translation program that converted Italian to English and vice versa. “When I couldn’t read a record, I would send it to Vincenzo,” Colasanti said. “In the four years, there were over 2,000 emails between us.” C o l a s a n t i f o u n d t h a t To n y Bennett’s (famous singer who was originally named Tony Benedetto) ancestors came from Podargoni, as did hundreds of others who settled in Upstate New York. “I just want to make sure that the people of Syracuse are aware that there’s a long list of names. It gives Syracuse a great place to get started,” he said. His findings are included on the city’s official website, www. podargoni.it. He recently published an online book, “Genealogy Study — A Reflection on our Past!” The Kindle version is available on Amazon for $2.99.

Guide to genealogy While the book details Colasanti’s experience, it also serves as a beginner’s guide. Researching your heritage can be an overwhelming experience, and Colasanti said it is important to map out simple strategies for those who don’t want to spend a significant amount of time and money on it. “I spent several thousand [dollars],” he said. “It’s not a lowcost hobby, but I can show you how to reduce your costs. My book is for

the people who want to do short-term genealogy research. I spent more time on it than I initially thought I would, but you can’t say I’m a genealogy buff. I get into something and spend time on it for several years. But then I get bored and move onto something else.” He advises rookie genealogists to have some knowledge of Microsoft Office functions and to avoid relying entirely on taking notes by hand and only maintaining paper documents. He also says it’s a misnomer that you can easily complete your family tree using commercial Web sites like Ancestry.com. While Colasanti acknowledged that the site is a great tool and one that he utilized in his research, he advises against relying on one source. He also used Jewishgen.org (free site) and the Ellis Island site (free to browse but charges for downloads) in combination with local newspaper archives, the microfilm tapes he purchased from the Mormon Family History Center, various public records, and good, old-fashioned detective work. “The three [websites] are a good place to start,” he said, “but there’s more to it than that.” True to his engineering self, Colasanti lists the cost of every August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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of Dan Colasanti Sr. published Liverpool recently enealogy an online book, “G ion on Study — A Reflect e Italian our Past!” about th and many roots of his family ork. The others in Central Y ailable Kindle version is av .99. on Amazon for $2 imaginable item related to genealogy, from printer ink ($50 a pair), to book bindings ($5 per book), to deeds from county court houses ($2 each), to electricity for using a personal computer (about $20 per month on your utility bill). The book does not read entirely like a how-to guide, and parts of it provide interesting historical perspective. Chapter 5, “What it was like in those times,” explains why many Italians went to the United States in the early 1900s. Colasanti notes the cholera epidemic in Italy

took 55,000 lives by 1887, and left the peasants barely able to survive. There were also severe crop failures that led to riots in Sicily, Puglia and Calabria. Hunger, disease, poverty and wars forced the Italians to leave their beloved homelands. In 1909, a one-way ticket on a ship that travelled from the Port of Naples to New York City cost $33.

The early days “Finding jobs after arriving in the U.S. was, again, another story. Most people had to pay a padrone to help find them work,” Colasanti wrote. “This became a business for some first arrivals, as the padrone was a boss, a person in authority who sponsors others. Apparently, this became a lucrative business. In 1900-1910, 2,045,877 Italians immigrated to the U.S. and most ships departed from Naples or Genoa. In New York state and outside of New York City, the largest migration of Italians was to Rochester and the Watkins Glen area, where many found work in the salt industry.” Colasanti does not believe that he’ll ever get to Italy, but he’s grateful that his children met some of their

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family members there. The Italians’ hospitality toward relatives, no matter how distant, he said, is beyond words. “They just opened their arms to them,” Colasanti said. “They treat you as if they have known you all your life.” While most of Colasanti’s work is done, he plans to spend a limited amount of time researching his own ancestors. His mother, Antoinetta (who he discovered was also called Antoinette and Loretta) was only 5 when she arrived in the U.S. And while it has been difficult to obtain documents from the family’s city, Colasanti was able to get Antoinette’s birth certificate. “It’s quite an experience. It chokes you up,” he said. “When you’re in your 20s or 30s, you are not thinking about things. When I got into this, I wish I had gotten into it 30 years ago when my parents were still alive. I could have asked them so many questions. It’s the kind of thing you put off. When you get older, it seems more important.”


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dancing

Salsa Anyone? Great way to stay fit, work on balance and have fun, say members of La Familia de la Salsa in Syracuse By Mary Beth Roach

“G

et your feet wet.” It’s an invitation from Brian Bromka, of La Familia de la Salsa, to take a step out of one’s comfort zone and try salsa dancing with the program he co-founded with Roberto Perez about 10 years ago. La Familia’s motto is “bridging cultures through dance one step at a time,” and not only does it bridge cultures, the program brings together people of all ages and shapes, from all walks of life and with all levels of talent and experience. As the program approaches its 10-year anniversary, it has grown from a dance team of 26 to be the largest Latin dance organization in Upstate New York, Bromka said, with the membership at more than 3,000. The program offers lessons and dances several nights a week at Johnston’s Ballybay, a pub and dance venue on Syracuse’s west side, behind Sacred Heart Basilica. Bromka estimates that 25-30 percent of those in almost every class he teaches are 55 years of age or better. The benefits of salsa dancing are psychological and physical, he said, explaining that it can improve cardiovascular health, helps the mind and brain, and provides additional social outlets, especially for older individuals who might find themselves to be empty-nesters, divorced or

Salsa instructor Brian Bromka with an unidentified student at the La Familia de la Salsa, a dance school in Syracuse. More baby boomers are willignto learn the dance, Bromka said.

August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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dancing

Instructor Brian Bromka and Carol Przepiora, a salsa student. widowed. These claims have all been reinforced by physician Joe Verghese, a professor at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine of Yeshiva University in New York City. His comments were published in an interview with AARP The Magazine in 2011. According to Verghese, frequent dancing, unlike some other physical activities, involves mental effort and social interaction, which have both shown to reduce the risk of dementia. The Jablonkas of Syracuse have found all these benefits to be true as well in the six years they have been taking lessons with Bromka. They now often assist Bromka in some of the beginner classes. Elaine Jablonka, a nurse and 20

55 PLUS - August / September 2014

diabetes educator, and husband John, a physical therapist, strive to be physically fit. They wanted a fun activity that would provide a good workout while giving them an emotional relief after caring for dying parents for several years. “It’s very aerobic. You’re moving for an hour, an hour and a quarter. Your ticker’s thumping away. But it’s not like you’re up there running a race. This is an aerobic activity in many directions — spin, move forward, backward, balance. It’s amazing for balance. It teaches how to stay on your feet. There’s a lot of physical skills,” John said. When they first started, Elaine admitted, that her brain had to readjust. “I think your brain really

functions better when you do more complex tasks.” Vicki Glamcevski, who turned 55 in July, has found much more than physical advantages from dance. “I am a breast cancer survivor and unfortunately I have it again,” she said. “Salsa is the best exercise for me. It makes me feel vibrant. It brings my life back to me. That’s why I’m doing it.” The cancer has metastasized to her lungs, stage 4, and she will be on chemo for the rest of her life, she said. Although she has tried to work out at the gym, she has found that salsa dancing offers her greater relief. “This actually brings my endorphins up,” she said. One of the side effects of one of her medications is swelling in her hands and feet. The dancing, she explained, seems to allay the swelling. “Mentally and physically salsa is the best thing for me. And my doctor agrees with me,” Glamcevski said, smiling. “Salsa and the music just brings back my life to me,” she adds. La Familia hosts “Havana Nights” on Friday evenings, and Bromka suggested that this is the best way for people to see if salsa dancing is for them. “It’s an amazing sense of community here and cultural diversity.” The Jablonkas and Bromka say that there might be a little trepidation among the new students. “People always say ‘I have two left feet,’” Bromka said. “And I say ‘I have two right feet — we’ll make it work.’” Six years and hundreds of moves after the Jablonkas started, John said, “Little did we know we’d get sucked in. It’s like an addiction. A very positive addiction.” “People will come and they look very intimidated, standing in the corner, back against the wall, arms straight down, thinking ‘what have I done,’” Bromka said. “But my job is to teach dance, but it’s also to make sure people are having fun. That’s my main objective. I’m not teaching people to dance on Broadway. I’m doing partner dancing where you communicate with your partner and enjoy your partner and we rotate partners in every class.


You don’t have to come with a partner. Within 20 minutes into the class, we’ve got people stomping and clapping and yelling and dancing.” Bromka embodies La Familia’s motto of “bridging cultures through dance one step at a time.” “I’m a Polish-American in an urban neighborhood teaching Latin dance in an Irish bar,” he said, laughing. He took ballroom dancing at the age of 10 when he was a student at Cherry Road School in Westvale. It was an extracurricular activity that his parents had him take, and he admitted that he did not like it at the time. He did not dance again until he was about 45 years old, and he came back to it due to a broken heart. He explained that he was looking for something to do after a relationship he’d been in had fallen apart. A friend had suggested taking adult tap dance and the teacher there asked him to come to a ballroom class. After refusing for three months, he finally agreed. He went on to become her dance partner, and the pair went on to train and perform. In the late 1990s, when lindy

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“It’s been very exciting for me to be able to dance as an older person and to have an orchestra. I’m not going to retire soon.” Brian Bromka and swing dancing were all the rage, Bromka heard a story on National Public Radio that the swing clubs in California were switching to salsa because it’s just as dynamic and exciting, but it’s also sultry and sexy. “And I thought, ‘Geez, Syracuse is three years behind California, so if I learn salsa now, if it hits I’m going to be good at it,’” he chuckled. So he took the first step, and started taking lessons here and then in New York City. “When I started to dance Latin, I really fell in love with Latin music. It’s extremely polyrhythmic and upbeat and uplifting,” he said. In New York, Bromka learned that

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he could travel to Havana with a group under a research license. His thirst to explore the roots of salsa music, which he said are African and Spanish, have led him to travel to Havana 10 times and to Ghana, West Africa. Although La Familia de la Salsa was begun as a dance ensemble, he was often asked to begin teaching. He refused at first because he was balancing other businesses, ICA Renovations III and Brian Bromka Investments. But eventually, he started teaching dance — and more. He started playing congas and then started a 12-piece Latin orchestra called Salsa-Son-Timba, which has performed at a variety of venues in Upstate New York, including the New York State Fair, the Northeast Jazz and Wine Festival, and the Syracuse Latin Festival. “It’s been very exciting for me to be able to dance as an older person and to have an orchestra,” he said. “I’m not going to retire soon,” he said, with a smile. To learn about the dance classes and more, check out lafamiliadelasalsa. com

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my turn

By Bruce Frassinelli Email: bruce@cny55.com

How the ‘King of the Hill’ Learned Not to Bully

W

ith the overriding concerns about bullying in our schools in recent years, it is time for me to fess up to being a schoolyard bully when I was a kid. Quite frankly, if someone today did what I had done, he would probably be expelled from school, possibly even charged with assault and harassment. But this is now, and that was then. Despite what you are about to read, none of my victims ever reported me to the teacher or other school authorities, nor, to the best of my knowledge, did they ever rat on me to their parents. I vividly remember being the top dog of my 35-member class in a small, coal-mining community in centraleastern Pennsylvania. I assumed this position at age 6 (first grade) when I beat up another kid in my class who also aspired to be king of the hill. I retained dominance for four years until shortly after the start of fifth grade. To retain this lofty realm, I routinely beat up and taunted any guy who challenged my authority or mouthedoff to me. For the record: I never laid a hand on any of the girls. At our small elementary school, there were four play periods — before school, during two recesses (one in the morning and one in the afternoon) and during a one-hour lunch break at the noon hour. We had no school buses, so most of us went home for lunch. My home was just three blocks from the school, for example. After lunch, I walked back to supervise activities until school resumed at 1 p.m. This still gave me the better part of 30 minutes to reestablish my authority, if necessary, and handle any malcontents in the schoolyard. During these periods, I set the agenda for the games we played.

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Mostly, the guys played together; the girls had their own games. Once in awhile, though, both sexes got into action together. For example, when we were in first and second grades (1945 and 1946), we played “War,” especially since the Second World War was fresh in everyone’s mind. In this game, half of the guys (the most popular ones, according to my determination) were the allies, while the others (the least popular, by my reckoning) were soldiers of axis nations (Germany and Japan). I would not allow any of the enemy to be Italians, because my parents were immigrant Italians and loved the United States. I figured it would be an insult and disrespectful to them to have Italians portrayed this way, even if it was for fun. In “War,” the girls had their limited roles. They were nurses who would swoop into action to tend to a wounded allied soldier. The

“wounded” enemy soldiers were left to die with no medical help. We had no weapons, not even toy replicas. Our make-believe rifles were activated by hand and arm motions and by the sound effects we made. A rifle sound was something like a sharp-sounding “koo-koo” — with an emphasis on the “k.” We also had make-believe machine guns — “rat-atat-a-tat-a-tat” — and hand grenades, which we pretended to lob, followed by a gutteral sound in our throat to designate the explosion — “ploooooo.” Periodically, after the shots or explosions, someone would fall to the ground pretending to be hit. That’s when one of the girls would run to the wounded soldier ’s aid, determine where the wound was, put her hand on the make-believe wound and make a “click, click, click” sound while rotating her hand on the wound. The soldier was instantly healed and returned to the battle good as new. After I had beaten up a few challengers to my throne, the rest of my male classmates kept in line and were reluctant to challenge me. After a few years, I not


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only terrorized my own classmates and kids who were a year or two younger in the same school and the in-town Catholic school, I thought it was time to branch out, extend my domain and take on those who were a year or two older than I. I was big for my age, so I matched up or exceeded the size of some of those who were a grade or two ahead of me. I made it a point to beat up a couple of the older kids who were not very strong or athletic, thinking I was sending a message to their classmates not to mess with “the Frazz.” One day, in fifth grade, several of my friends and I were playing in the stadium near our junior high school. A kid from a nearby community was visiting relatives in town and was at the stadium playing football with some of his family members and their friends. I made the mistake of thinking that he would serve as a good example to take word and a few scars back to his hometown about how he and his friends wouldn’t want to mess with me if they happened to come to my town. When I walked up to him and told him to leave the stadium, he told me what I could do with my ultimatum. I was stunned but not deterred. I gave him a hard shove to show him who was boss. The expression on his face transformed into that of a wounded beast from the depths of hell. He let out a loud scream, charged me and hit me full speed around the waist. I went flying and landed on my back. Before I even had a chance to process what was happening, he was on me like an uncontrollable demon and straddled my chest. He kept punching me in the face and arms, which I used to try to protect myself. In less than a minute, I was a bloody mess. Crying uncontrollably, I ran home only to receive a spanking from my mother for getting into a fight. My bullying days had come to an inglorious end. To this day, 65 years later, I was never in another physical altercation of any kind. I had learned my lesson. As for the young man two years my elder who vanquished me, he went on to become a prominent dentist in the area where I lived. He recently died, which made me recall the unintended life lesson he taught me.

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55+

profile

Ruth and the late Robert Colvin are shown at a black tie dinner for former recipients of the Presidential Medal of Freedom in November.

How Busy is Ruth Colvin? The 97-year-old founder of Literacy Volunteers of America keeps on going: She met the Obamas in November, is active on several boards and is about to publish a new book By Matthew Liptak

R

uth Colvin has done a lot with her number. It’s been enough to have helped start and follow through with what is a world-wide adult literacy effort and catch the attention of every United States president since Jimmy Carter. Her number is 97. It’s her age. “I say age is just a number. You have a different number than I do. It’s

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55 PLUS - August / September 2014

what you do with your number that’s important,” she said. Colvin led a community effort to help Syracuse residents who were illiterate in the early 1960s into Literacy Volunteers of America, a national network of chapters that taught more than 400,000 adult Americans to read. In 2002, LVA merged with Laubach Literacy International to form ProLiteracy.

She is a life member of the boards of Proliteracy and Literacy Central New York, formerly Literacy Volunteers of Greater Syracuse. The latter group is the local organization she also founded. It helps adults in the Syracuse area who need help with literacy. “They’re teaching about 150 to 200 people right here in Syracuse how to read and write or speak English,”


Colvin said. Today, over 36 million American adults can’t read above a third-grade level, according to statistics provided by ProLiteracy. Globally, 775 million people are illiterate, according to 2010 United Nations figures. It is a problem Colvin has been concerned about for decades and it continues to drive her today. “The problem is like the tip of an iceberg,” she said. “When I first started, the 1960 census said we had 11,055 functional illiterates in Syracuse. Today, we have thousands right here in Syracuse — 35,000 right here alone. “We’re finding there are many more because it was a hidden thing. People were ashamed. They would not tell. The problem has always been bigger than we thought,” she added. If the problem persists, it is not from a lack of effort on Colvin’s part as well as her husband Robert’s. They married in 1940 and the two moved to Syracuse in 1942 from Seattle. They are originally from the Chicago area.

Behind every woman … As Ruth got involved in literacy advocacy, her husband, a successful salesman, supported her all the way. He did the little things like carrying projectors and boxes for her as Ruth set up for presentations, and the big things, like accompanying her around the country for literacy-related events. When they decided to take literacy to other countries — 62 in all — he was there by her side. As she worked on literacy endeavors in the villages of developing countries, Robert

would throw himself into small business work, helping the locals develop businesses that could sustain them and promote literacy at the same time. R o b e r t passed away re c e n t l y a f t e r being married to Ruth for 73 years. The countless hours of work on such a big problem didn’t go unnoticed. In 1987, President Reagan presented Colvin with the National Colvin in 1987 when President Reagan presented her with Volunteer Award. the National Volunteer Award. In 1993, she received what she considers one her “My son got his Ph.D. from highest honors — being inducted into Massachusetts Institute of Technology,” the National Women’s Hall of Fame in Colvin said. “When I got my first Seneca Falls. honorary doctorate, he said ‘Oh, that’s In 2006, President George W. Bush wonderful mom, but I have an earned presented her with the Presidential doctorate.’ I asked, “Terry, how long Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest did it take you to get your doctorate?” civilian award. Colvin has also received He said to me, ‘Five years after college.’ 10 honorary doctorates. I asked, “How many books have you Ruth and Robert had two children, written?” ‘Only one,’ he said. And Terry Colvin and Lindy Webb. The I said, “I worked 20 years before I questions surrounding university got my first honorary doctorate. I’ve degrees were something that caused written eight books.” He said, ‘Mom I debate between Ruth and her son get the picture! You earned it. I’m very Terry. proud of that.’”

Ruth Colvin receives the Presidential Medal of Freedom from President George W. Bush in 2006.

Ruth Colvin is shown with her honorary doctorate from Onondaga Community College with OCC President Dr. Casey Crabill and board of trustees chairwoman Margaret O’Connell at the SRC Arena & Events Center in Syracuse. August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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Colvin received her latest honorary doctorate from Onondaga Community College earlier this year. She was thrilled. She valued the recognition by the small college of her hometown because she and Robert got their own start at a junior college — Thornton Junior College in Harvey, Ill. It’s where they met. She said many people with bright futures get their start at small schools.

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How has Colvin been able to keep so active for so many years? She said she takes care to balance four parts of life. The mental: She likes to read. At the time of this interview, she was working on six books she got from the library including those with history and mystery subjects. She also likes to write and keep up with email. She expects her latest book, “Stepping Off the Beaten Path,” to be out sometime in 2015. It is a collection of 110 stories chronicling people she’s met from 20 countries including Turkey, Papua New Guinea, Kenya, Botswana and Nepal. Colvin also takes care of the physical side of herself. She lifts weights every morning and plays golf when she can. Then there is the emotional. She considers herself blessed to have a loving family and be surrounded by support. There’s the spiritual side too. Colvin is an active member of Pebble Hill Presbyterian Church as was her husband. She has a strong Christian faith but has come to believe that there is more than one path to heaven. “So much is by accident of birth that we’ve got to have respect for the other guy as well,” she said. “I believe in respecting all religions and I have a strong faith. I’m blessed with that.” Colvin advises her fellow seniors to do the best they can with their lives so they can look back on happy memories. She has made many in her 97 years and has made many people happy with her literacy efforts. Whatever lies down the path for her, she faces it with the same openness that has helped her touch so many lives. “Of course, I believe this is only part of our journey,” she said. “Whatever journey comes next, just like when we visit another country, we don’t know what’s going to be there. You trust God and know that there is more than this. This is only part of our journey.”


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Taking a Step Back in Time At Waterloo’s Mac’s Drive-In, air of nostalgia is as genuine as it gets By Suzanne M. Ellis

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ake no mistake about it: Mac’s Drive-In is not retro, which means “modeled after a style or design from the past.” Its air of nostalgia is as genuine as it gets. “ We a re n o t re t ro . We a re authentic,” said Jim MacDougal, coowner of the restaurant his family opened in a vacant gas station in Waterloo in 1961. “We are very old and we’ve been here a very long time, but we have never really changed.” Indeed. Other than moving the business a short distance up the road a few years after it opened — and taking along the root beer barrel and counter they built for the converted filling station — Mac’s is pretty much identical to the way it’s been since the ‘60s, and that’s how the owners, staff and customers like it. 28

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Sitting on an old, round metal stool on a summer night, listening to oldies playing in the background, watching carhops rushing to waiting vehicles, is like taking a step back in time to the days when drive-in restaurants were plentiful and popular and didn’t have golden arches or the crowns of kings towering over them. “Add a jukebox, and this is a place where Richie, Potsie and Fonzie would love to hang out,” said Kevin DeValk in an article he wrote for the Finger Lakes Times in 2000. Mac’s was opened by Jim MacDougal’s parents, Gerald and Cathy MacDougal, and his aunt and uncle, Raymond and Vera MacDougal. In recent years, longtime employees Craig Adam and Jim MacDougal became the drive-in’s new owners. Adams, an earth science teacher at

nearby Seneca Falls High School who started working at Mac’s when he was 15, never dreamed he’d one day be an owner. “When Gerald [MacDougal] was thinking about retiring and getting out of the business, he came to me to talk about buying in,” Adam said. “I really enjoy the business, the people I work with and our customers. They all seem very comfortable with the fact that someone they know has taken it over.” Jim MacDougal has been at Mac’s, literally, since he was a newborn. “I was 6 weeks old when they opened in 1961, and I was on the premises when they didn’t have a sitter,” MacDougal said. “I got my working papers when I was 12 ... running drinks for carhops, cleaning bathrooms and chopping fries were my ‘chores’ when I was growing up.”


The majority of Mac’s 40 parttime employees are high school and college students, and there are also some “moonlighting professionals,” MacDougal said. Everyone works part-time and many return year after year, he said. The restaurant’s closing day each season is always the Monday of Labor Day weekend. But opening day varies. “We would like to consistently open on Good Friday, but if Easter is really early or really late, then we will generally open the first weekend in April,” Jim MacDougal said. Like its interior and exterior, Mac’s menu has changed little in 53 years and its prices are still a bargain for homemade, cooked-to-order meals. The menu includes the standard drive-in fare of yesteryear: hamburgers, cheeseburgers, Philly cheesesteaks, fried fish, French fries, milkshakes and banana splits. “You’ll never see us on the Food Channel because we keep things simple,” Jim MacDougal said. Over the years, they did add chicken and sub sandwiches, pizza and a few salads. According to regulars, one of the secrets to Mac’s success is the ice-cold Richardson’s root beer, which can’t be found anywhere else and is served in frosted mugs and pumped from the same barrel they’ve

Craig Adam, a co-owner of Mac’s Drive-In in Waterloo, hoists one of the restaurant’s biggest draws: a frosty mug filled with Richardson’s original root beer and topped with swirls of vanilla ice cream. used for more than five decades. Mac’s fresh-cut fries and their honey buns, which are deep-fried buttermilk biscuits drizzled with warm, fresh honey, are big hits, too.

Consistently low prices are also a big draw: In 2014, you can get a large root beer float, a cheeseburger, a goodsized order of fries and a honey bun for $7 and change. “We really keep our prices down, our customers are treated well and they get quick service,” Adam said. “That’s what kept the MacDougals going all those years, and we are continuing to do the same thing,” One thing Mac’s has never had is carhops on roller skates. Some of the customers will swear they came in as teens and saw skating carhops, but it never happened, MacDougal said. “We have never done the roller skate thing,” MacDougal said. “First of all, our original parking lot was stones and nobody could roller skate on those. Secondly, I can’t imagine what the insurance liability would be if we were handing hot food to teenagers on roller skates.”

Mac’s Drive-In Even on a rainy weeknight in July, Mac’s Drive-In bustles inside and out. This is the restaurant’s 53rd season in Waterloo, and it remains much as it did back then.

Address: 1166 Waterloo-Geneva Road (routes 5 and 20), Waterloo, NY Hours: Tuesday-Sunday, 10:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. through Labor Day Contact: 315-539-3064 www.macsdrivein.net August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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d e l d i r b Un e v i r D

Women golfers achieve success on links with dogged determination By Mary Beth Roach

I

t wasn’t love at first swing for well-known local golfer Teresa “T” Cleland. While a student at Niagara University, she, one of her roommates, and her roommate’s family, who were all pretty good golfers, went out and played one day. “I couldn’t even hit the ball, and I thought, ‘Well, this is the stupidest game,’” she said. The 55-year-old mother of three and grandmother has come a long way since then. She has distinguished herself on local, state and national levels, winning the Post-Standard Women’s Amateur six times and the Syracuse Women’s District Golf Association Amateur Championship four times. She’s a three-time New York State Mid-Amateur Champion; has qualified for the United States Women’s MidAm, and finished third in the NorthSouth Amateur. She has also competed in 13 national championships and has been named to the second team of the Global Golf Post All-Amateur Team. She finished in the top-16 in a national tournament, but asks herself if she can get to the “Elite 8.” “I’m looking forward instead of looking back,” she said. But she did look back one sunny Sunday afternoon this spring, as she

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joined Linda Mulherin, 58, a golf pro at Drumlins Country Club, for a chat about how they got started in the game, what motivates them, and what the game means to them. Cleland became more actively involved in the game of golf in her mid-20s. Always an athlete, she had played basketball and volleyball in college, but after two ACL surgeries, she realized that she would have to find another sport. “When I first started, I realized pretty quickly that it was way harder than it looked,” she said. “It’s not an easy game. You can start to build a swing that might feel good to you, but it’s totally ineffective. So I knew right away, ‘I’m going to need some help with this game.’ But every sport I’ve played, I’ve had coaches. When I was playing basketball, I had coaches correcting things. I knew enough about athletics to think I need some help with this. I started with lessons and have continued to work with pros. I’m really willing to take lessons and hear what people have to say and critique it.” Her desire to always improve and her love of practicing, which she refers to as an internal challenge, fuel her games and ultimately her success. She calls herself a “range rat,” and at the end of her workday as a physical education teacher at Syracuse’s Corcoran High School, she will often

head to Bellevue Country Club, where she’s a member, and hit balls for two hours. “That’s my downtime. I work on the things I want to work on,” she said. She even has a net set up at her home that she hits balls into, and she has been spotted the night before a tournament practicing in her yard, with the net under a spotlight. “I don’t give up,” Cleland said. Mulherin calls Cleland’s attitude her mantra, her “15th club.” She finds inspiration from the senior women she meets at the national tournaments. “When I compete at the national level, I see senior women who are well into their 50s and early 60s, and they’re unbelievable, and I think, ‘Wow, I have a long way to go to be to their level,’” she said. When one is playing a qualifier for a national championship, Cleland explained, there’s 144 women from the U.S., Canada, and Puerto Rico. The golfers have one day to prove themselves and those that might be having a bad day aren’t moving forward. That’s where the pressure is, she said. Playing at the level she does has allowed her and her husband, Jon, who caddies for her, to travel extensively, which they have enjoyed immensely. She remarked on the beauty


“I’m doing my dream job. There’s nothing else I would do,” said Linda Mulherin, 58, a golf pro at Drumlins Country Club in Syracuse.

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of some of the courses, and a few surprises along the way. While in Alaska for a qualifier, she told the story of how the golfers were instructed not to have food on the course because of the bears. The rangers travelled around the course with large cans of bear spray and air horns. While on the seventh fairway, she recalled, the golfers were reviewing the yardage when someone yelled ‘bear!’ Sure enough, the animal was running across the fairway. The rangers hit the air horn and were able to chase it off the course, but they told the golfers later that they needn’t have worried, it was just a 500-pound male bear. Jon has caddied for her for about eight years. While some golfers go to tournaments and hire caddies there who may know the particular course, Cleland said her husband knows her game, her distances and the kind of shot she plays. He’ll go out on a practice round and have everything charted out with exact yardage. When she plays younger golfers, she knows they have hit longer shots, but her age has given her a different view about everything in life. “There’s so many times I just feel blessed that I have the health to be out here playing, and I come at it from a different perspective,” she said. Cleland is retiring after 32 years with the Syracuse City School District. The Henninger High School graduate who returned to her hometown and district to teach will be turning the reins over to a former student. It will allow her to spend more time with her children — Jessica, Jeff, and Jill, and her grandson, Colton — probably playing golf. Her children grew up around the game and most of their vacations had something to do with golf, she said. While she may be retiring from teaching, she’s a long way from retiring from golf. “I don’t feel like because I’m 55, that’s it. I always feel that I can get better and I work at getting better,” Cleland said.

Top-flight competitor For Mulherin, her career in golf has fit to a “tee.” 32

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“I’m doing my dream job. There’s nothing else I would do. A lot of people don’t have that,” she said. Shortly after her son, Adam, now 28, was born, Mulherin and her sister had begun to take lessons with local golf legend Rocky Kelly, and they fell in love with the game. It appealed to the athlete in her and to her love of being outdoors. She hadn’t planned to make it into a job, but events in her life at the time forced her to step into her career. She began at the Seneca Golf Course, taking greens fees. Golf pro Kevin Reid took her under his wing, she said, and eight years later, she became a LPGA member. “Being a female in the LPGA gave me a lot of opportunities if you were ready to take them because there weren’t a lot of women in it,” she explained. “The way I became a master professional was I became teacher of the year and I won five times and that put me into a pool where I got recognized nationally. They picked me out to be in their pilot program for master professional, so I became the first female master professional in teaching.” She then went on to become a member of the faculty, certifying other master professionals. Golf is a great game in that it’s whatever you want it to be, she said. Some simply want to get out and exercise; some see it as an opportunity to get out with friends. Also, one doesn’t have to play with golfers of the same skill level. The handicaps can level the playing field. “It’s you and the course,” she said, “You post your number against the course. In golf, you’re not playing against each other.” As a teacher, she needs to recognize that not everyone comes to the game for the same reason. She has students who are trying to make it in college, while some just want to get the ball in the air, she commented. “I love taking anybody and getting them to that next level,” she said, and her gratification is derived from the achievements of her students. Her true passion involves high school kids and working with them to

get them to college, she said. While there might not be a great deal of college scholarships being offered, Mulherin encourages her students to find any financial assistance opportunities and apply for them. She has been at Drumlins in Syracuse for 25 years and that is a blessing in itself, she said. Describing herself as hyperactive with a tendency to get bored easily, she said she needs to be stimulated all the time and the hectic pace at Drumlins appeals to her. The club includes a public and private golf course, putting green, driving range, tennis courts, a swimming pool, and banquet space. “Drumlins is an ever-changing animal,’ she said. “It’s been wonderful. It’s diverse. It is the best place I ever could have landed.” Her schedule doesn’t allow time to become bored, either. Her database of students at all playing levels numbers 600. She does a range of programming as well, including boot camps, shortgame schools and full-swing schools. In addition, she offers a series of clinics offered with the town of DeWitt, something she never wants to give up. “I’ve always said I will never quit that,” she said. “That’s my giving back. They were great to take me on when I first started.” Her schedule doesn’t slow down too much in the winter months either. She and her husband, Bob May, head to their home in Florida, where she teaches at a country club. She will bring some students down for a golf vacation, with instruction built into it, working with them for a few days, and then take a week or two off to enjoy with her husband. From time to time, students from Central New York will send her videos of something that might be troubling them with their game. She watches the video, critiques it and then returns it with comments. When she does get some spare time, what does she do? She plays golf — naturally — and enjoys spending time with Adam on the courses both in New York and Florida.


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Teresa “T” Cleland, a 55-year-old mother of three, has distinguished herself on local, state and national levels. “It’s not an easy game,” she recalls.

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life after 55 By Michele Reed Email: michele@cny55.com

Bonjour, Bisous, Baguettes: The Best of La Belle France

T

here’s a reason they call it “La Belle France,” and why French phrases such as “joie de vivre” (roughly, the joy of living) and “la bonne vie” (the good life) have entered our English lexicon. The French really do enjoy life, and some things in “The Hexagon,” as the six-sided country is known, are even more enjoyable than others. When my husband, Bill, and I spent the winter in a tiny village in the south of France as part of our exploration of retirement locales, we found plenty to savor! Many years ago we went low-carb, and while Bill still holds fast to that healthy lifestyle, there was no way I was going to abstain from one of the biggest joys of French life — the baguette. In our little village of 7,000 people, we found seven bakeries, and there may well have been more we never chanced upon. My favorite was up the street from our house, about a two-block walk. This little boulangerie was a Catalan artisan bakery, crafting its loaves in the local tradition. The baguette I

Editor’s Note: Local writer Michele Reed and her husband, Bill Reed, spent the winter of 2013-14 exploring the possibility of retiring to the south of France. In a series of articles, she takes readers along on their journey, sharing the ups and down of senior expat living. got each morning was warm, crispy, crusty and delicious! I savored it in a lunch of local tomato, cheese, pate and avocado; mopped up the rich gravy of a veal and mushroom stew on my dinner plate with thick slices; and spread the crusty end pieces with creamy mountain honey to enjoy with my bedtime cup of tea. When the French people pray for

The French “daily bread” – the baguette – is delicious with a tapenade made of local olives. Photo by Michele Reed 34

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their “daily bread,” I am sure they picture the ubiquitous baguette. How do I know? One Sunday in church, I glanced over and a congregant had placed “L’Indépendent,” the local newspaper, and an unwrapped fresh, hot baguette on the pew beside her. Because stores are closed by law on Sunday, and bakeries and tobacconists (which are also the newsstands) are only allowed to open in the morning, this enterprising parishioner made sure to get the necessities of this life before attending to the needs of the next. I took the hint, and started buying my loaf on the way to church after that. Baguettes come in handy in unexpected ways. The French have their priorities right, and family life is sacred, so all businesses close from noon to 2:30 p.m., so employees can go home and eat lunch with their families. Next door to our house, a young father came home every day, baguette in hand, and after lunch with the family, he would come out and play with his 2-year-old daughter, whom we dubbed Shirley Temple because of her beautiful

The ubiquitous baguette is one of the joys of French life. Sold unwrapped, with just a strip of paper for handling, it is hot, fresh and delicious. Photo by Michele Reed


And do not attempt to leave, without catching the eye of the clerk, and uttering these courteous phrases. It is, as they say in French, “de rigueur.” Even though I would buy my baguette in the morning, when we passed by the bakery on our way to the café at 4 p.m., the clerk would look out from behind the counter mounded high with dinner loaves and greet us with a big wave and hearty “Bonjour.” And perfect strangers, when we passed by them in the street or met them on train platforms, would never fail to greet us Expect to be greeted with a happy “Bonjour” at with similar politeness. shops like this anchovy merchant and boulangerie Another sweet (bakery). Photo by Bill Reed custom of the French is the “bisous” or kisses curls. They would play soccer or he they give out upon greeting one would skateboard while she rode her another. The technique requires some tricycle around the courtyard until it practice — you brush cheeks with the was time for him to go back to work. recipient and give a sort of air kiss One day as he was arriving home and while doing so. Two kisses are the “Shirley” was running out with happy minimum, but depending how well cries to greet him, a stray dog started acquainted the greeters, the number to chase the girl. The dad took swift goes up from there. It really isn’t and typically Gallic action. With no something you do with strangers, so as other weapon at hand, he herded the newcomers we didn’t get them daily, dog away from his daughter with the but we smiled when our landlady trusty baguette. greeted us at the train station with T h o u g h t s o f m y f a v o r i t e bisous. And our hearts were warmed boulangerie bring me to another joy on our last morning there, on our way of French life. Wherever you go, the back to the train station, when we polite French man or woman is bound bumped into a friend we had made to wish you “Bonjour,” or “good day.” in town and she took her leave of us And you must respond in kind! On with hugs and “bisous d’amis” — the entering a shop, going through the kisses for friends. stalls on market day or just passing The warm feelings her goodbyes by in the street, you can expect to be generated — along with memories greeted with a nod and “Bonjour.” In of oven-hot baguettes and cheerful fact, it is extremely rude to conduct any “bonjours” — stay with us until we business without first wishing the clerk return to our home away from home a good day, and inquiring about how next winter. he or she is doing. The same goes for taking leave. NEXT: Culture Shock: It’s Not All “Merci. Au revoir.” (Thanks and Wine and Roses goodbye) or “Bonne journée” (Have a nice day) are phrases that you Michele Reed retired after a career volley back and forth, sometimes spanning four decades in public relations, multiple times, whenever you get advertising, journalism and higher off the bus or exit a shop, whether education. She now writes travel articles, you have purchased anything or not. book reviews, haiku poetry and fiction.

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golden years By Harold Miller Email: hal@cny55.com

The Devil Has Gone Digital

T

The Internet is a valuable tool, but like any tool if you don’t know how to use it, it can hurt you

here it was, spread across my computer screen, a bold message on a blood red background: “Your files have been encrypted (put into a coded form). If you wish to retrieve them click on the line below.” When I clicked on the line another message read: “Your files will be returned to you (decoded) for $450.” I called my Internet provider and they were able to unlock my computer, but in the process many of my files were gone, including the manuscript of a book I have been working on for

over three years. This is equivalent to a hacker breaking into my home, stealing some of my valuables and then sending me an email offering to sell them back to me. The crime of hacking has become a major problem for the world to deal with. Consider the case of Edward Snowden, a former government contractor, who leaked some of the National Security Agency’s most guarded secrets. He resides in Russia for now (having been given asylum by Vladimir Putin) thumbing his nose at our government. In an interview with

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— addressing what Washington considers economic espionage. The U.S. Justice Department has recently indicted an organization called Peoples Liberation Army identifying its leader as Wang Dong, who is known on the Internet as “Ugly Gorilla.” China has categorically denied the accusations and has suspended cyber security talks with the U.S. Additionally, an anonymous group — who researchers refer to as “Aurora” — infiltrated the servers that run Google’s Gmail service in China. Since Google’s intrusions, Aurora hacked into Lockheed Martin, the U.S. Labor Department, RSA, EMC Cop’s security unit, and Bit9 Inc., a Massachusetts firm that contracts to keep hackers out of some of the biggest U. S. firms. Our modern world has made a deal with the Devil — as Adam and Eve did by trading an apple (no pun intended) — for innocence and virtue. Our company information technology (IT) person tells me that dealing on the Internet has become like the Wild-Wild West of yore. There is no justice. We are living in an evil, godless world and we

must understand the trade off and take steps to protect our individual privacy, security and well being. Here are a few tips: • Never reveal anything on your email or on the Internet that you do not wish the world to know. There is no real security, although it is suggested that you contract with one of the many security systems offered by your Internet provider. • Have your Internet provider

install a filter to separate junk mail (spam) • Set up the filter so that only those in your address list can email you (all others will appear in your spam file). • Never give your email address to a vendor if you can avoid it (many sell your email address to other vendors). • Back up all your files regularly, and remove your file discs when not in use. • Never give your credit card number to any vendor on the Internet unless you are confident that they are a legitimate company. If in doubt, send a check if you purchase their product. If an offer appears to be too good to be true — it probably is. • If you receive an email from a person you don’t know, don’t open it (most viruses are transmitted this way). The computer and the Internet are valuable tools that have changed our world allowing instant global communication and the instant transmission of information, but like any tool if you don’t know how to use it you can be hurt.

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From Swagger to Swagging Why today’s seniors differ from past generations By Kristen Penfield

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e all must admit that we lied about our age and wanted to life is flying by quickly. be older than we actually were? Wasn’t What about those who it just last week that waking up with have received AARP a crying baby seemed like eternity? information in the mail? Or those Wasn’t it just last year that our children who have recently retired? Hard to were entering high school and college? Jane Sozzi, of Phoenix recently believe, isn’t it? It seems that everyone, no matter turned 68. About becoming a senior, what age group, wonders why time Sozzi says, “Most of us were raised seems to go much quicker than it did in in the youth culture. In the ‘60s, the 3.5x4.75 Christopher 55+ was ‘don’t trust anyone over their past. Wasn’t it just yesterdayCommunity that mantra

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30!’ We never really believed we’d ever be more than double that age.” Sozzi said her generation is one that insists upon staying vibrant, remaining healthy and active and living a lifestyle that still captures the youth culture. “We are working hard to outrun old age”, says Sozzi. In 1967, Paul McCartney and The Beatles wrote a song, “When I’m SixtyFour.” Sozzi gasped, “When this song was written, we seniors were only 22 and sang it all the time. Now, here we are. It truly is a shock.” The average age expectancy today is 81 for men and 86 for women, according to a study released by the University of Washington’s Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation. And though we are experiencing an increase in life expectancy, Americans still lag more than three years behind the 10 longest-living nations. NPR. org reminds us of a shocking statistic: In 1804 the global population was 1 billion; the estimate for 2100: 10.1 billion. One very different factor is arising — today’s older adults are very different from the stereotypical senior citizen of years past. Attitudes are different. Behavior is different. U.S. News & World Report noted that this new old generation has a different outlook on life. They refuse to be old; their prose is full of vitality. The MacArthur Foundation recently completed a study of this generation. Instead of losing all hope or confidence, they are self-confident, in good health and personally productive. Perhaps the attitude of “If you can’t beat it, join it” plays a part in the overall attitude of this generation? What, exactly, separates the new old generation from their predecessors? According to the EnrichmentJournal.org, there are several reasons that make the new old generation stand out:

time meaningfully will find much interest. • New seniors feel 10–20 years younger than their chronological age. Ask someone over 55 how old she feels and then how old she actually is. If the former is at least a decade less than the latter, you may be looking at a new senior. Not only is their self-image underage, their behavior is too. • New seniors look forward to the future. New seniors believe some of their best days are still ahead. They spend time thinking, talking, and planning for tomorrow, not just rehearsing, recalling, and reliving

yesterday. • New seniors would rather serve others than be served. New seniors have discovered one of the great secrets of life: Through giving one gains far more than through selfishly seeking. New seniors want to pass on the experience and wisdom they have gained over their years. • New seniors spend time with others who share common interests. New seniors often join organizations that reflect their passions. Such groups may have a purpose of Continued on page 41

• New seniors have goals they want to accomplish. Some of their goals are self-centered, others are altruistic. But new seniors have a clear sense of things they want to do. As a result, church activities that are not goal-directed or have no apparent purpose beyond passing the time will not attract new seniors. In contrast, church activities that are a means by which new seniors can invest their August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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55+

working Dan Morrow overseeing repairs to one of his digital print systems at Morrow Graphics in Syracuse. “I have a lot of friends who retired, and it shortened their lives. I think I’ve got another four or five years in me,” said the 69-year-old Syracuse businessman.

d e y Dela t n e m e r i t Re More people who have the means to retire comfortably still go to work every day. Some say they’d be bored if they retired By Aaron Gifford

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an Morrow spent 40 years building up his business, Morrow Graphics in Syracuse, to what it is today. It began as a small shop that assisted landscape architects with drawings and, with the onset of the digital age, it blossomed. Morrow put in decades of seemingly endless work weeks to carve out a niche, stay ahead of the competition and groom his son, Jim, to take over the enterprise someday. When Morrow is able to get out of the office, he treasures his vacation time. He enjoys woodworking, boating on lakes and rivers and building sand castles at some of the most beautiful beaches on the planet. He says he’s done a good job saving for his retirement and longs to visit more tropical places and boating havens.

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And yet, he chooses to work past the age of 65. “Not yet,” the 69-year-old Syracuse businessman said in a recent interview. “I have a lot of friends who retired, and it shortened their lives. I think I’ve got another four or five years in me. The ever-changing market, the technology — I guess that’s what makes it interesting for me.” Morrow is among a surprising number of Americans who are working past the age of retirement. And while most people in that category have their reasons financially, there is at least a small population of them who can afford to quit their jobs, but don’t because they actually like what they do. In late 2013, CareerBuilder conducted a national survey of

workers over 60. Forty-nine percent of those surveyed indicated that one of the main reasons they haven’t retired yet is because they would be bored if they weren’t working. And while there are numerous reports released in the past year that people are increasingly working beyond the retirement age due the financial concerns and the effects of the Great Recession, there is also ample evidence that not all older adults are in that situation. The Sloan Center on Aging and Work and the Boston College Center for Retirement Research, through their collection of website blogs and research papers, publicized the fact that, not only do some older adults enjoy working, they are also excelling in their chosen fields. A paper completed by Sloan


researchers “The Impact of Population Aging and Delayed Retirement of Workforce Productivity,” explains that older workers are enjoying faster wage gains than their younger counterparts. One of the main reasons, the paper says, is because of education: Those with advanced degrees (doctoral and professional degrees) tend to remain in the labor force longer. That trend dates back to the early 1990s, when nearly 60 percent of workers between the ages of 62 and 74 with doctoral or professional degrees continued to work. In 2012, Charles Schwab & Co. conducted a study on older workers which found that 76 percent of middleincome Americans between the ages of 50 and 69 stay in their jobs not because of financial responsibilities, “but because they wanted to.” Respondents, all of whom fell between the $40,0000 and $90,000 annual pay range, reported starting their work day feeling happy, respected, lucky, working to full potential, ambitious, valued, intellectually stimulated and energized. Sixty-seven percent of those interviewed for Schwab’s study said their job skills put them “ahead of the game,” 27 percent indicated that they were currently at peak happiness levels in their careers, and 11 percent said their best working years are still ahead. The study also noted that more 50-somethings than 60-somethings are likely to feel stuck in their jobs and perceive greater barriers in making a career change. “Working is clearly about more than the money,” Schwab Community Services senior vice president Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz said in a press release that was issued after the study was completed. “The majority of older workers are very engaged and productive in their jobs, and employers should be pleased to see that they’re happy in them, too.” While 51 percent of those who participated in the Schwab survey said they do worry about their financial fitness, 49 percent indicated that they worry about their physical fitness. Forty-eight percent said they worry about the weight of their debt, and 52 percent they worry about their “body weight.” As for the best advice the older workers would give to their colleagues, 40 percent said to live within a

budget, 33 percent said to maximize contributions to a 401(k), IRA or retirement account, and 12 percent said to pay off your credit cards. In October, the Associated PressNORC Center for Public Affairs Research released its study on a similar topic that found nine out of every 10 workers surveyed over the age of 50 were somewhat satisfied or very satisfied with their jobs. The report also said 63 percent of workers over 65 were deeply satisfied with their jobs, while only 38 percent of those under 30 indicated that they were deeply satisfied with their jobs. The Sloan Center notes that while workers younger than 50 have seen a modest decline in their relative annual earnings, workers 55 and over have enjoyed impressive gains: Those between 65 and 69, in fact, have seen their earnings climb 30 percentage points in the past two decades. In addition, the Sloan Center also published a paper that outlines “encore careers and bridge jobs” that older adults take on after stepping down from the line of work they had been dedicated to for decades. The majority of those who seek these encore or bridge jobs are between the ages of 51 and 52, are college educated, in good health, and tend to live in cities or suburban areas. The paper also says that nearly two-thirds of workers in this category are looking for better ways to balance work with personal life. A friendly work environment is important and a flexible work schedule was important to most of those interviewed for this study. A lesser number of respondents (34 percent) said the ability to work from home is essential. Of course, being self-employed affords the older worker a good degree of flexibility as well. Dan Morrow, the Syracuse graphics specialist, could not help but think of his responsibilities at work a few weeks down the road, even as he prepared for a recent vacation to the Florida Keys. He was quite certain that he’d be happy to get back to the shop after a nice break from this unusually harsh winter. “I still totally enjoy going to work every day,” Morrow said with a laugh. “As long as I still have the bigger office with more windows than my son’s [office] — and unless he gives me a box to put my stuff in — I’ll keep showing up.”

Swagging Continued from page 39 service, compassion, or support. But their common denominator is action. • New seniors eat nutritionally and exercise regularly. New seniors hold their physical bodies in high esteem and care for them as conscientiously as any other valuable property. • New seniors enjoy going out. The experiences of life that are yet to be had—locally and beyond—call new seniors to a more active lifestyle than their traditional counterparts. Consequently, new seniors tend to have less time available for long-term commitments. • New seniors have supportive friendships. New seniors have discovered that relationships are regenerative. To the new senior, people are the most stabilizing ingredient in an often incongruous life. New seniors go out of their way to be with, enjoy, help, and learn from others. • New seniors have a sense of humor. The spectrum of life experiences can (and often must) be laughed at. New seniors know that life goes on— as it has for the decades of their own life—and will after they’re gone. New seniors do not let the setbacks of life take away their ability to laugh. • New seniors view retirement as a time for work, study, serve, and play. New seniors believe that retirement is not the end of an old life, but the beginning of a new one. This new life is an opportunity to do new things or gain new insights. Go to new places, support new causes and meet new people. Senioradult programming that assumes retirees desire only frivolity and play miscalculate on a critical assumption about the conclusion of work years for many people. In contrast, programs for retirement years that stimulate, challenge, and speak to issues of importance attract new seniors. To summarize, a new outlook on aging has enveloped the new old generation. They won’t give in to being old or giving in. They are viewing as their second half of life that could even surpass the first half of life in many aspects. I think they’re right! Reaching our eighties is inevitable – why not make it the best yet! August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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aging By Marilyn L. Pinsky

Act Your Age (Or Not!) Do we wear jeans? How about skinny jeans? How about cutoff or short-short jeans?

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h e n w e w e re 7 a n d behaved like a 2-yearolds, our mothers said, “act your age,” and they were probably right. But when we’re 60, 70, 80 or 90, can feeling that we have to “act our age” actually hold us back from experiencing the joy in life? I took this question to my guru of all things, Linda Land, who holds a Master of Science degree in social work. Our discussion revolved around such essential questions as what is joy and how do we experience it? “Joy,” as Land suggests, “can be felt like a momentary jolt, one that helps us feel alive.” She explained why we might have lost the ability to experience joy and offered some ways to get that feeling back. “The experience of joy may be related to how we see ourselves. When do you actually feel your age and what does that mean for you? Perhaps the question of how you see yourself may not come up until you are facing a major health issue or the loss of a loved one,” says Land. But for this article, let’s assume you’re relatively healthy for your age but that life is just not as much fun as it was when you were younger. Let’s examine some reasons for this. Ignoring your actual age, ask yourself “how old do I really feel? Do I feel middle aged? Do I feel old? Is this feeling based on my physical condition, appearance or attitude?” Most of us feel a particular age that has nothing to do with our actual age. Maybe we think of ourselves as being in our 50s even though we may be in our 80s or 90s. Maybe we feel older than we really are based on circumstances we don’t have control over. This perception of self has nothing to do with our actual age.

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Self-perception and age does have a lot to do with how we present ourselves to the world. Shopping and dressing up is fun, but there are few guidelines for this time of life and that’s where the land mines lie. At work we knew what kind of suit to wear and there were expectations about how to behave. Now, though we may think of ourselves as being 20 or 30 years younger than we are — and that’s great if we do — the fact is we’re not. So how we dress and act can become an issue. Do we wear jeans? How about skinny jeans? How about cutoff, short-short jeans? How much of

our non-perfect bodies do we show? Will we know when enough is enough? And how do we figure out the answers to these questions? One way people cope with getting chronologically older when they feel mentally and physically younger, is with a kind of denial. Denial can be a curse or a blessing and comes in many forms — the guy who drives his motorcycle too fast, the woman who wears skirts slightly too short or pants slightly too tight, the man who dates women slightly too young, to name a few strategies of denial. On the other hand, acting old can mean feeling old


and can keep us from finding joy in life. Here, as in everything else, what we need is balance and good sense. Attitude. Far more important than how you look or dress, is how you experience life. Aside from health, the key factor in how old you feel is your attitude. How do you deal with the inevitable aches and pains that come as we age? Is that a factor in how old you feel? Are you someone who medically checks out what needs to be checked out and then chooses to ignore what can’t be fixed? Or are you one who dwells on the aches and pains? Then there’s stress. We can’t avoid it. But how we deal with it, can affect how old we feel. Stress is a killer of joy, but paradoxically the very things that we may be drawn to as stress reducers can give us real pleasure.

Do More of What Gives You Fun How to get to “fun.” “Think about what has typically brought you joy,” suggests Land. “You may have to think back as far as childhood to find answers, especially if you have taken an ‘all work and no play’ approach to your life. Did you love Sinatra or rock music as a kid? Clearly that was the pathway to pleasure then and may be now. Did you love running, racing on your bike and doing sports? Find some way to move your body, whether dancing, exercising at the gym or a walk in the woods.” “One of my friends is a choral singer. She goes to rehearsal even when she is exhausted and stressed because she knows that the experience of singing will both lower her stress and create one of those “jolts” we just mentioned,” said Land. How about other, goofier ways to play? Maybe you don’t have much of a voice, but like to sing anyway — find places to sing karaoke. How about playing games like trivial pursuit? Or going to Crunch and Chief’s game and cheering out loud? If you’re brave enough, you can even take salsa lessons.” Though it would certainly be easier to have a partner to do things with, that’s not always an option. You may need to reach out and engage with other people to create more relationships for yourself. On the Internet go to meetup.com, and see the hundreds of organizations in your area that are doing activities you’re interested in.

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druger’s zoo By Marvin Druger

Marriage: Love and Laughter

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How to survive 56 years in a marriage

any people have asked me how it’s possible for my marriage to Pat to survive and thrive for 56 years. Nowadays, divorce is not uncommon after a few years of marriage. Love is a complex phenomenon and many factors contribute to long-lasting relationships. Prominent among these factors is good humor and laughter. I thought it might be fun to share some of the exchanges that Pat and I had as husband and wife over the years. We always had a warm, joking relationship and none of the episodes described were meant to be derogatory, nasty or insulting. Someone who read a draft of this article suggested that it would make Pat appear mean and nasty. This is far from the truth. Pat was the kindest, most considerate person anyone could hope to know. The exchanges cited were simply fun, and created laughter and warm feelings between us. I’m sure that many readers can identify with similar interactions in their own relationships. Pat’s clever, witty remarks always resulted in a good laugh together and kept my negative tendencies under control. I want to share some of her wit with you.

A Romantic Moment One night, my wife, Pat and I were in our king-sized bed preparing to sleep. I suddenly had a surge of romantic self-pity and loneliness. I tried to hug Pat, but she pushed me away. “Pat,” I said, “You are the only thing I have to hug.” She quickly replied, “I’ll get you a dog.” She then rolled over and went to sleep.

The Thinker Pat and I were sitting in our car and I said, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” She replied, “Yes, I have to do all the thinking.” 44

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Brains I once completed a task that required some thought. I pointed to my head and boasted to Pat, “See, brains.” Her reply was, “Why don’t you use your brains around the house once in a while.”

Boring Tales Pat and I were at dinner. Pat was sitting on my left and a friend was sitting on my right. The friend kept telling boring, meaningless stories. I tried to pay attention, but it was nearly impossible. Pat was an eager listener. She laughed, responded and actively showed appreciation for the boring stories. The next day, I said to Pat, “You were great. Those stories were pretty stupid, yet you acted as though you enjoyed them.” She replied, “I’ve had plenty of practice doing that.” I wonder if she was referring to our 56 years of marriage?

Modern Marriages Several years ago, Pat retired from being an administrator in the writing program at Syracuse University. Since then, she was extremely busy. She volunteered as a docent at the Erie Canal Museum; she did tax returns for AARP; she was a member of the Friends of Jowonio School board; she was involved in sewing, knitting, quilting, exercising and other activities. One day, I met a friend who I had not seen for awhile. He asked, “How’s Pat?” Knowing how busy she was, I jokingly replied, “Who’s Pat?” He said with concern, “Are you still together?” Welcome to the modern world!

Shmoozing A friend’s wife had died from cancer. He was extremely lonely, and he wanted to find a companion. He did so through Match.com. I had dinner

with my friend and his new girlfriend and they were kissing each other at the table, and she was fondly stroking his arm. I was pleased that they had found each other, and I told them so. When I got home, I told Pat about their affectionate interactions at dinner. Her response was, “After being married for 56 years, I’m not going to start schmoozing you now.” Anyhow, I tried.

Expensive Food Pat and I were at the Chicago airport waiting for our plane to leave for Syracuse. We were hungry, and I suggested that we grab a hamburger at McDonald’s. Pat said that she wanted a ham and cheese sandwich instead. So, I dashed off to buy my inexpensive meal at McDonald’s while Pat bought a ham and cheese sandwich from a food vendor in the corridor. When I returned, Pat was almost finished eating her sandwich. I asked how much her sandwich cost. “$12.50,” she replied. “Wow,“ I said, “That’s outrageously expensive!” She exclaimed, “Do you want me to throw it up?” I didn’t respond.

Lucky in Life Pat asked me to help her with making the bed. I was reluctant, and I boasted to her, “I’m an author and a thinker.” She responded, “While you’re thinking, I have to do the rest of life. You’re lucky that you have me.” And so I was.

Most Important Person I told Pat how much I cared for her. “You’re the most important person in my life,” I said. She replied, “Yes, you couldn’t function without me.” How true.

The Doorbell After 46 years of use, the doorbell broke. I quickly volunteered to fix it. I said, “Pat, do you want me to go to


the store to buy a new doorbell and then install it?” There was a brief pause. Then, knowing my mechanical incompetence, she replied, “What do you think?” I got the message, but I accepted the challenge and I actually installed the new doorbell. And it worked.

Pat overheard our conversation and interjected, “Why don’t you give up talking?” On another occasion, I didn’t do an exercise properly. I exclaimed, “I wasn’t thinking.” Pat wanted me to record that remark also.

Compliments

Food on Father’s Day

Eating Slowly I am a slow eater. When everyone at the table is finished eating, I am usually still munching away. I told everyone, “I have to digest.” My impatient granddaughter exclaimed, “Grandpa, you can digest in the car. Let’s go!” One of my endless remarks about Pat was, “If I had known that she would get this old, I never would have married her.” Pat responded, “If I had known that he would eat this slowly, I never would have married him.” Touche! I told my granddaughter about my conflict with Pat about my being a slow eater. Sometimes, if Pat had her own car, she has left me in the restaurant and went home while I was still eating and digesting my food. I told my granddaughter, “The problem really is that your grandma eats too fast.” Her reply was, “No, it’s that you digest too slowly.”

Chauvinism

It was Father’s Day. I suggested that we go out to dinner to celebrate. Pat declared that we were eating at home. She served my least favorite dinner — leftovers. My usual comment was, “We always seem to be eating leftovers, but I never see the original food.” After eating a decent salad, she served a plate of rice, with slivers of dried-out, tasteless cheese and a shriveled cob of corn from the previous day’s dinner. It was awful, and it tasted that way, but I ate as much of it as I could tolerate and I said nothing. The next morning, I spontaneously started to laugh aloud. Pat asked what was funny, and I told her about the meal. She actually agreed that it was terrible. She also told me never to mention the meal again, or she would tell people about the hot mustard that I put on her baloney sandwich at lunch. The mustard almost burned her mouth. So, my mouth will be silent about the memorable Father ’s Day dinner.

I was reading some comments from a former student who raved about how I inspired him in his career. I jokingly said to Pat, “I’m a legend. It’s very hard to live with myself.” She replied, “It’s harder for me.” I told a friend, “I used to be a chauvinistic pig. Now, I’m liberated.” “Pat remarked, “Yes, now he’s just a pig.”

My Thick Neck Pat and I were exercising with the active older adults exercise class. I yelled to Pat, “Because of all this exercise, I can’t fit into my clothes anymore. My shoulders have become too broad, and my neck has become too thick.” “That’s from talking too much,” was Pat’s response.

Dumb bells Pat and I were doing the exercise class for aging adults, the instructor announced, “OK everyone, do two laps around the track and bring your dumb bells. Pat quickly responded, “I’ll bring Marvin.”

Opening My Mouth I had some indigestion problems and needed a n e n d o s c o p y. S i n c e this involves inserting a flexible stem with a tiny camera into the esophagus, complete anesthesia was necessary. Prior to the procedure, I had to complete a questionnaire. One item was, “Do you have trouble opening your mouth?” My wife, who was present, quickly commented, “That’s not a problem for you.” I wondered how she knew that?

Reading or Talking I was telling the optometrist that I didn’t want to wear glasses. “I’d rather give up reading.”

Marvin Druger with his late wife. “Pat was a beautiful and wonderful person with many talents. We loved and laughed and travelled together for nearly 60 years.” August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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My Gorgeous Wife

Annoying

In one of my romantic moods, I told Pat how beautiful she was. “How do you stay so gorgeous?” I asked. She modestly replied, “I don’t know.” Humility was not one of her shortcomings.

Pat was telling someone about me. She said, “He can be very annoying, but he still has his hair, it’s brown, he weighs the same as he did in high school, and he’s always funny.” The listener interrupted, “I know him. You can stop at the first part.”

Our Trip to New York City I thought it was a good time for a vacation. I asked Pat, “Do you want to go to NYC?” Her reply was, “I want to go to the bathroom.” So much for NYC.

Reckless Driving Pat and I were visiting our daughter and her family in Maryland. My son-in-law drove the family to a restaurant. He was zipping around corners, barely stopping at stop signs, going at high speed and coming dangerously close to other cars. As he zoomed up and down streets, he commented about what a poor driver I was. I laughed quietly, since I didn’t want to insult him and start a family feud. After dinner, when Pat and I finally reached our hotel, I said, “How can Brian criticize my driving? He’s a terrible driver.” Pat’s immediate response was, “You both stink!” I guess my driving skills did not make a positive impression on her.

Hands-free Driving I was driving the car with Pat at my side. I let go of the steering wheel for a few seconds to put on my gloves. Pat said, “Do you want to hit that tree before or after you put your gloves on?” I got the picture.

Lots of Scissors I was telling Pat about the five great scissors that I bought at the Dollar Store. Her comment was, “So, now you can use your five hands to cut with all the scissors.” Again, I got the message. On another occasion, Pat noticed the 10 pairs of sunglasses that I had purchased at the Dollar Store. Her comment was, “Are you planning to grow more eyes?”

Knowledge Pat and I were taking a walk on a road near Owasco Lake in Auburn. I spotted an old Jaguar car parked alongside the road. “Look,” I said, “There’s an old Jaguar.” Pat asked, “How did you know that?” “I know a lot more than you think,” I replied. Pat responded, “You disguise it very well.” 46

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Left Brain – Right Brain Scientists believe that the right side of the brain has functions that involve holistic, random, intuitive thinking leading to creativity, while the left side of the brain deals with logical, detailed, analytical thinking. I gave a presentation about my books to a book group. As usual, I talked most of the time. There were few questions. One lady asked, “You seem to blend together your right brain and your left brain functions. How do you manage to do that?” I told Pat about the question. She laughed and said, “How about no brain functions?” I couldn’t answer either question.

Penknife Mishap Pat and I were going through security at the airport. I had my penknife in my pocket. They wouldn’t let me take it through security, so I returned to my car at a distant point in the parking lot to save my penknife from being confiscated. When I finally returned to the airport, I said to Pat, “That was pretty stupid to bring my penknife to the airport. I guess I just didn’t think,” Pat’s response was, “Is that unusual?”

Being Handy Pat and I were discussing the need for someone in the family to be handy in doing repairs around the house. I announced, “I’m handy.” Pat responded, “Which hand?”

A Loose Screw I was at the health club with Pat. A lady called me over to help loosen a stuck knob on one of the Nautilus machines. I gathered all my strength and loosened it. “Is there anything else you’d like me to loosen?” I asked arrogantly. “Yes,” remarked Pat, “You can loosen your head.”

The Raincoat Pat has a very colorful raincoat that is admired by everyone. Some lady said to her, Pat, I love your raincoat.” Without thinking, I said, “I love what’s in the raincoat.” Wow!

What a brilliant remark. I was proud of myself for this creative, positive, spontaneous remark. Maybe, I should have stopped trying to think and talk at the same time.

The Red Rental Car Pat and I rented a red car to drive somewhere. We stopped at a gas station to get gas. While Pat sat in the front passenger seat, I filled the tank and then went inside the store to pay. I returned to the car, got into the driver’s seat, put the key in the ignition, but nothing happened. For some reason, the key didn’t fit. While I was silently cursing, a huge man came up to the window and said in a menacing tone, “Going somewhere, buddy?” Then, I realized that I had gotten into the wrong red car. Pat was sitting in the red rental car at another pump mumbling, “What the heck is he doing?”

Let’s Face It Someone gave Pat a present of some sort of very expensive face cream from Barcelona, Spain. Pat used it. I remarked, “Wow! That stuff really made your face look much better.” From the expression on Pat’s face, I could tell that this remark was not well received.

A Final Thought One day, Pat told me about her divorced friends. One divorced friend complained, “My ex-husband walked like a duck.” Another divorcee lamented, “My ex-husband talked in paragraphs.” Without thinking, I commented, “There’s nothing I don’t like about you.” Sometimes, powerful truths emerge from my mouth without engaging my brain. This comment was a good example. Pat was a beautiful and wonderful person with many talents. We loved and laughed and travelled together for nearly 60 years. She stopped breathing at 3:15 p.m. on Sunday, Jan. 19, 2014 at Francis House in Syracuse. I was at her bedside and it was a moment that I’ll never forget. Typical of Pat and our humorous relationship, her last words to me before she slipped into an unconscious state were, “Marvin, shut up!” I know that anyone who knew and admired my wife, Pat, misses her and will treasure her memory. Love and laughter were themes for our long marriage. Pat was a model for a life well lived.


consumers corner By Eva Briggs, M.D.

‘Help, I’m Dizzy’ Ears play crucial role in how we maintain balance

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y nephew created a zany video years ago by spinning the camera as he taped my infant daughter, while narrating in a squeaky voice, “Help, I’m dizzy.” It was funny, but for true vertigo sufferers feeling as if the world is spinning is anything but a laughing matter. Your ears play a crucial role not just in hearing, but also in allowing you to orient in space, to balance and to see clearly by automatically producing eye movements that compensate for head motion. Structures inside the ear called the vestibular labyrinth perform these functions. The vestibular labyrinth is located near the part of the ear called the cochlea, the hearing organ of the inner ear. Perhaps you’ve heard of the cochlea because of the growing use of cochlear implants. These sophisticated electronic devices supply electrical impulses to stimulate the auditory nerve and restore hearing in people with damaged auditory nerves. Several structures form the vestibular labyrinth. Three semicircular canals, oriented at right angles to one another, sense head rotation in three dimensions. The canals are lined with sensory cells whose microscopic hairs (called stereocilia) project inside a gel layer inside the canal. When the head moves, fluid in inside the semicircular canals jiggles the gel, which in turn moves the stereocilia, causing them to send nerve signals to the brain. Other structures inside the middle ear, the utricle and saccule, detect orientation relative to gravity, detecting head tilt and linear motion. In these structures stereocilia project into a gel layer topped by calcium carbonate crystals. Certain movements shift the crystals, which in turn jiggle the gel layer with its imbedded hairs, signaling motion to the brain.

Scientists already knew that implanting tiny electrodes into the inner ears of cats and monkeys could stimulate the animals’ vestibular nerves. They observed eye movements indicating that the subjects were experiencing the sensation of head movement. Scientists wondered whether appropriate electrical stimulation of the vestibular nerves could restore balance in people with damaged vestibular nerves, just as cochlear implants can aid hearing. Many conditions induce vertigo and its accompanying sense of spinning, whirling, blurred vision, nausea and vomiting. Some problems, like viral infections, are short-lived and resolve on their own. But some problems are permanent and disabling, such as Meniere’s disease, damage by certain drugs or age-related degeneration. Since cochlear implants were successful, scientists reasoned they could adapt the device to the vestibular system. With different, tinier electrodes and new programming, they envisioned a device to restore balance. The appropriate electrodes are just one-fifth of a millimeter wide (double the diameter of an average human hair) and less than 2.5 millimeters (about one-tenth of an inch) long. Three gyroscopes align with the three semicircular canals, housed with a computer processor in a box roughly the size of an Andes thin mint. The box sits on the head behind the ear. The gyroscopes send information to the processor, which translates the information to radio waves. The radio waves activate a stimulator implanted into a bone behind the ear. Three tiny wires lead from the stimulator, one wire to each semicircular canal. The first such device was tried successfully in monkeys in 2008. It worked without destroying their

natural sense of balance, and in most their hearing was unharmed too. The first human received the experimental device in 2010, and so far four people with severe vertigo due to Meniere’s disease have tried it. Some experienced hearing loss, but their alternative treatment, destruction of the abnormal vestibular nerve, would have produced the same side effect. L i k e a n y n e w t e c h n o l o g y, questions still remain. How long will the device last? Is it safe over the long term? But once it’s fine-tuned, it might help those suffering from chronic imbalance and disorientation due to inner ear problems.

Eva Briggs is a medical doctor who works at two urgent care centers (Central Square and Fulton) operated by Oswego Health. August / September 2014 - 55 PLUS

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Ten Top Tips When Visiting Boston By Sandra Scott

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oston, the capital of Massachusetts and the state’s largest city, is one of the oldest cities in in the United States. It was founded in 1630 and was the site of some key events of the American Revolution and a great place to learn about American history. Today the city is an exciting destination with something for everyone including sport fans, history buffs, and foodies. CITYPASS: Savvy and budgetminded visitors will want to purchase the Boston CityPASS which allows admission to the New England Aquarium, Museum of Science, Skywalk Observatory, Museum of Fine Arts and Old State House or the Harvard Museum with a savings of nearly 50 percent. It eliminates waiting in line, which is a real plus during the height of the tourist season. No need to rush from one site to another because the CityPass is valid for nine days. TROLLEY TOURS: There are a variety of tour buses and duck tours all offering a menu of deals for traveling about Boston.

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Old Town Trolley Tour is an excellent choice with a hop-on-hop-off option and great perks such as a choice of free admission to the Boston Tea Party Ships & Museum or Boston Harbor Cruise. Purchase online for greater savings. There is a lot to see and do so a two-day ticket is a great idea. Take the entire tour once around and then decide what you want to see before hopping off. BOSTON TEA PARTY: If you only relive one historic event in Boston it should be at the Boston Tea Party Ships & Museum, which opened in June 2012. The multimedia exhibits, authentically restored ships, live actors, and audience participation will bring the event alive. You can toss the tea into Boston Harbor from a replica of “Eleanor” reenacting the historic occasion. Interestingly, the cargo was British but the ships were American owned. After tossing the tea into the harbor the tour continues with an informational video called “Let it Begin Here” and fascinating displays.

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FREEDOM TRAIL: Follow the 2.5-mile trail to 16 historically significant sites including museums, meeting houses, churches and cemeteries. Stops include Paul Revere’s house, Faneuil Hall, Old North Church, Bunker Hill and the USS Constitution also known as Old Ironsides. Walk it on your own but for a more informative tour, book a tour with “Walk Into History” led by an 18th-century costumed guide. There are several tour options of varying lengths. Learn the fascinating behindthe-scene stories. Boston on Foot also offers walking tours. H A RVA R D : You, too, can say you went to Harvard after a tour with Cambridge Historical Tours, just one of the company’s tours of the Cambridge area. Their Innovation Tour includes both Harvard and Massachusetts Institute of Technology plus they offer another tour of Harvard’s Natural History Museum. Harvard is one of the oldest and most prestigious American educational institutes. There are also student-led tours and audio tours for

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those who want to tour on their own. GO TEAM: Boston is home to several major-league sports teams. Bostonians are avid fans and visitors can catch the excitement at a game by cheering for the Boston Red Sox, the Bruins, Celtics, Patriots or one of the many college teams. Check out the legendary Green Monster, the 37.2-inch left field wall at Fenway Park, home of the Red Sox. Run or cheer for your favorite runner during the Boston Marathon, the world’s oldest annual marathon. MUSEUMS: The city is home to a plethora of museums including the Museum of Fine Arts, which opened during America’s Centennial. It is home to nearly a half million artworks. The Institute of Contemporary Art located on the waterfront features works of Picasso, O’Keeffe, Warhol and other famed artists. Also visit the Children’s Museum, historic homes including the 1796 Otis House, which is the last surviving mansion on Bowdoin Square, the JFK Library & Museum and many others. Some museums have days when admission is free. FOODIES: Deciding where to eat is a dilemma as there are many excellent restaurants in all categories. You haven’t been to Boston until you cracked a few — oysters that is — at The Union Oyster House, the oldest restaurant in continuous service in the U.S.

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Wet your whistle with a stop at the Harpoon Brewery and check out their meal-size pretzels. And, don’t forget Cheers bar where only the outside was used in the TV show. Don’t miss the Quincy Market in downtown, where you can find all types of foods from a great variety of vendors. Looking for something on the sweet side, take a Back Bay chocolate tour.

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MORE COOL THINGS TO DO: Take a harbor boat ride. Get panoramic views of Boston from the Prudential Center Skywalk Observatory with many interactive displays dealing with Boston’s history. Visit the Christian Scientist mother church and adjacent Mapparium, an amazing three-story glass globe. Have afternoon tea in Abigail’s Tea Room. Take a Swan Boat ride through Boston Public Garden lagoon, a Boston Tradition since 1877. Boston Commons Frog Pond has a spray pool in summer and ice skating in the winter along with many other seasonal activities. There are a slew of festivals and special events such as the St. Patrick’s Parade. There are free street performances at Faneuil Hall and Harvard Square. SIDE TRIPS: It would be impossible to experience all the things there are to do in Boston but there are also great day trips using Boston as a hub. Follow Paul Revere’s ride to Lexington and wander along Battle Road to Concord. Nearby tour Louisa May Alcott’s house and Thoreau’s Walden cottage. Other day trips include Salem, which is more than witches, and Plymouth to learn about how the Pilgrims lived. For more information check Massvacation.com and Cityofboston.gov/visitors or call toll-free 800-227-MASS.

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By Mary Beth Roach

Judge Joe Fahey, 65 Has recently published “James J. McGuire, Boy Mayor and Irish Nationalist,” a book about his great-uncle, the youngest person to serve as Syracuse mayor at age 26 Q.What prompted you to write this? A. I grew up in a pretty political household and James McGuire was always a presence there. He’s my mother’s uncle. About seven or eight years ago, a bunch of folks from the Central New York IrishAmerican Cultural Institute came to me and said they were going to do an anthology of early Irish-American leaders in Onondaga County. And they knew that I had been related to McGuire and asked me would I do a profile of him. It turned out to be about 30 pages. As it turned out, they did not do the anthology but I had the profile sitting there as an article and I belong to the American Conference of Irish Studies, so I submitted it to them as a proposal for one of their presentations at one of their conferences in New York. That would have been 2006, I believe. I went down, delivered the paper. Jim MacKillop from Syracuse University Press, who does the Irish press for them, had heard about it. So he contacted me when I got back to Syracuse and asked me if I would do a biography and I agreed to do it. Q. Was there a lot of family stories? A. There were, but what was interesting was the amount of misinformation that was out there. For example, my mother had the impression that he was not just the youngest mayor of Syracuse but the first Democrat and the first Irish-Catholic mayor of Syracuse, and neither of these are true. There were other Democratic mayors who 50

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preceded him, and there were other Irish-Catholic mayors that preceded him. But he is to this day the youngest. Q.In all your research was there anything that surprised you? A. There’s a lot I learned about him. I think probably what I learned about him, that I didn’t expect to, was the sort of clandestine, below-the-radar existence he had in the IrishAmerican leadership and the movement with respect to Ireland. I knew he was a confidant of Eamon de Valera [a leader in Ireland’s fight for independence and the third president of Ireland] because that was something that my mother was always very proud of. I didn’t realize that he was somebody who was willing to put himself out on the limb and take some risks that he could have gotten prosecuted for in terms of assisting in Irish independence. Q.Was writing the book a two-year, three-year process? A. I was writing as I was researching. So the whole process from beginning to end probably took about six or seven years. I think Jim MacKillop was a little unnerved when I turned in a 900-page manuscript the first time. So we went through five or six edits to get to where it is. Q.How was the editing process? A. The first few times, the manuscript got cut, but it didn’t get cut nearly to the level that they wanted it. There was some stuff that

I really loved that got left on the editing room floor. But I understand. Syracuse University Press’ focus was more the Irish angle than the local angle. For it to fit into their Irish series, that’s what it was. It was painful, but eventually I bit the bullet and dried my eyes and came up with the manuscript they could take. Q.You alluded to your family being very politically involved in this town for years. Do you think that he had a role in that? A. He certainly had a role in it from my mother’s side of the family. He was elected mayor when he was 26. He then played a very large role on the state and national stage. Q.What is your goal for the book? A. My goal for the book is really two audiences — the folks here locally in Central New York I think they’ll enjoy it. I think they’ll see a slice of Syracuse and a chapter in history that maybe there hasn’t been light shed on in a long, long time. I think that the Irish-American community will discover that they had a real previously unsung hero among them in their leadership in their midst that they didn’t realize.


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Back Row: Patricia Fisher, Richard Humpleby, Al Sahm, Rosalind NaPier, Christa Kilmartin, Sue Klineberg, Cara Schrock-Steiner, Inette Herndon, Virginia DeBenedictis, Front Row: Nancy Humpleby, Mildred Oot, Olga Mulpagano, Alice Ford, Rhona Edlund. Missing from photo: Peggy Hotaling, Nancy McCain, Beverly Miller, Joanne Younis and Janet Wiehle-Amond

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