55plus april&may by 55 Plus: For Active Adults in Central New York

Selling Your Home? 7 Things You Need to Do

Experts Weigh In on Plastic Surgery Financial Paperwork

That pile of financial documents you have in the basement? Know what to keep, what to toss

PLUS Issue 62 April / May 2016

For Active Adults in the Central New York Area

The inside scoop: A pioneer in the study of TV, Syracuse University Professor Robert Thompson talks about his career, how TV has changed over the years and the worst shows ever produced

Priceless

Marvin Druger: How I Spent My Winter Vacation

Superior stroke care. It’s about time.

eceiving the area’s fastest stroke diagnosis and treatment starts even before you arrive at Crouse Hospital. That’s because our EMS

partners start communicating with our team the moment they arrive on the scene. Once here, our stroke specialists immediately assess your condition. And if more advanced care is needed, our boardcertified, fellowship-trained neurosurgeons use the most progressive stroke-rescue therapies and technology available. When it’s about time, say “Take me to Crouse.”

crouse.org/stroke

Extraordinary times call for really extraordinary radio. WRVO Public Media is really extraordinary radio - and more. Join us at Syracuse Stage for an evening with NPR Morning Edition co-host David Greene Tuesday, May 17 at 7:30. Listen to WRVO Public Media for details on this and other exciting events coming soon. Event information and tickets available at WRVO.org. All proceeds support excellent programming.

David Greene

New Non-Surgical Protocol for Neuropathy What is Neuropathy?

Neuropathy is a collection of disorders that occur when nerves of the peripheral nervous system are

Are you Experiencing Pins & Needles?

damaged. The condition is generally referred to as peripheral neuropathy. In the United States,

Numbness and Tingling?

over 20 million people suffer from peripheral neuropathy. Neuropathy can be brought on by a number

Pain or Burning in your Feet or Hands?

of different causes including Diabetes, back problems and certain drugs. Damaged nerves send incorrect signals back to the brain causing scattered signals resulting in numbness, burning, tingling and sharp pain sensations that are usually felt in the feet, legs, hands and arms. Symptoms associated with the motor portion of the nerve may include muscle weakness, cramping and spasms as well as a lack of coordination and poor balance.

Traditional Treatments:

Over the years neuropathy treatments in general have had poor results at best. Many medications are used that have significant side effects and poor treatment outcomes. Only recently have we had a promising breakthrough to help reduce symptoms of neuropathy with lasting results.

New Non-Surgical For Neuropathy:

Protocol

A new development in Class IV laser technology called Deep Tissue Laser Therapy has been shown to improve the function of the blood vessels and tissues that surround the injured nerves. This improves the elasticity and function of the blood vessels. As the blood vessels become healthier, the nerves begin to thrive. Another choice of treatment, Microvascular Therapy, is used to expedite healing and reduce pain through the process called “Vascular

Profusion”. This is the process of delivering blood to the capillary beds in the tissues and organs of the body. Microvascular Therapy is PAIN FREE and stimulates the pumping action of the smallest blood vessels which increases the oxygenation, nutrient transport to the cells and waste removal causing tissues to heal more rapidly. Additionally, a landmark study demonstrates the benefits of an arginine based nutritional protocol for patients. This pharmaceutical grade supplement containing L-Arginine boosts the production of Nitric Oxide in your body and has been labeled The Ultimate Cardio Health Solution. The Nobel Prize in Medicine was awarded in 1998 validating the effects of nitric oxide on the cardiovascular system and how L-Arginine is critical to the production of nitric oxide in the body. Ironically the use of L-arginine was also found to deliver dramatic results to patients with diabetes and peripheral neuropathy by improving circulation.

If you would like to learn more about this successful drug-free and pain-free protocol for neuropathy and other nerve and pain conditions call 622-0102 Mention This Article to Qualify For A Free Consultation.

3452 Route 31 • 622-0102 • Baldwinsville, NY 13027 (located across from Hickory Hill Golf Course) April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

CONTENTS

55 PLUS

April / May 2016

36 42

10 20 Savvy Senior 6 Financial Health 8 Gardening 10 Dining Out 12 My Turn 22 Golden Years 36 Aging 38 Life After 55 40 Consumers Corner 44 Druger’s Zoo 46 Last Page 50 LAST PAGE Cynthia Cary Woods, 50, is the new director of OASIS. She talks about what the organization has to offer 4

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cny55.com

12 ROMANCE

26 MIDLIFE

• Online dating: Great way to meet potential dates

• Journalist writes book about male midlife crisis

16 AGING

28 REAL ESTATE

• Face-lift anyone? We speak with the experts

• Seven thing to do before you put you home for sale

18 PAPERWORK

30 COVER

• Financial documents: what to keep, what to toss

20 SPORTS

• Syracuse attorney returns to baseball after 45 years

24 ENTERTAINING

• Group sings at nursing homes, other locations

• Pioneer on the study of TV talks about career, how TV has changed and the worst shows ever produced

42 PROFILE

• MOST’s exhibits and outreach manager relies on the past to encourage future scientists

48 VISITS

• Ten ways to explore Montreal, a great city just a few hours way

April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

savvy senior By Jim Miller

How to Calculate Your Retirement Number

alculating an approximate number of how much you’ll need to save for a comfortable retirement is actually pretty easy, and doesn’t take long to do. It’s a simple, three-step process that includes estimating your future living expenses, tallying up your retirement income and calculating the difference. There are even a host of online calculators that can help you with this too. Living Expenses The first step is the most difficult — estimating your living expenses when you retire. If you want a quick ballpark estimate, figure around 75 to 85 percent of your current gross income. That’s what most people find they need to maintain their current lifestyle in retirement. If you want a more precise estimate, track your current living expenses on a worksheet and deduct any costs you expect to go away or decline when you retire, and add whatever new ones you anticipate. Costs you can scratch off your list include work-related expenses like commuting or lunches out, as well as the amount you’re socking away for retirement. You may also be able to deduct your mortgage if you expect to have it paid off by retirement, and your kid’s college expenses. Your income taxes should also be less. On the other hand, some costs will probably go up when you retire, like health care and, depending on your interests, you may spend a lot more on travel, golf or other hobbies. And, if you’re going to be retired for 20 or 30 years you also need to factor in the occasional big budget items like a new roof, furnace or car. Tally Income Step two is to calculate your retirement income. If you and/or your wife contribute to Social Security, go to ssa.gov/myaccount to get your personalized statement that estimates

55 PLUS - April / May 2016

what your retirement benefits will be at age 62, full retirement age and when you turn 70. In addition to Social Security, if you or your wife has a traditional pension plan from an employer, find out from the plan administrator how much you are likely to get when you retire. And, figure in any other income from other sources you expect to have, such as rental properties, part-time work, etc. Calculate the Difference The final step is to do the calculations. Subtract your annual living expenses from your annual retirement income. If your income alone can cover your bills, you’re all set. If not, you’ll need to tap your savings, including your 401(k) plans, IRAs, or other investments to make up the difference. So, let’s say for example you need around $55,000 a year to meet your living expenses and pay taxes, and you and your wife expect to receive $30,000 a year from Social Security and other income. That leaves a $25,000 shortfall that you’ll need to pull from your nest egg each year ($55,000 – $30,000 = $25,000). Then, depending on what age you want to retire, you need to multiply your shortfall by at least 25 if you want to retire at 60, 20 to retire at 65, and 17 to retire at 70 — or in this case that would equate to $625,000, $500,000 and $425,000, respectively. Why 25, 20 and 17? Because that would allow you to pull 4 percent a year from your savings, which is a safe withdrawal strategy that in most cases will let your money last as long as you do. If you need some help, there’s a bevy of free online retirement calculators to assist you, like the ones offered by T. Rowe Price (troweprice. com/retirement) or Financial Mentor (financialmentor.com/calculator).

55PLUS cny55.com Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto

Associate Editor Lou Sorendo

Writers

Deborah J. Sergeant Aaron Gifford, Sandra Scott Matthew Liptak, Mary Beth Roach, Maria Welych, Katie Tastrom-Fenton

Columnists

Eva Briggs, M.D., Bruce Frassinelli Marilyn Pinsky, Harold Miller Jim Sollecito, Marvin Druger Michele Reed, Janice Egan .

Advertising

Amy Gagliano Cassandra Lawson

Office Manager Alice Davis

Layout and Design Eric J. Stevens

55 PLUS –A Magazine for Active Adults in Central New York is published six times a year by Local News, Inc., which also publishes In Good Health–CNY’s Healthcare Newspaper. Published at 185 E. Seneca St. PO Box 276 Oswego, NY 13126. Subscription: $15 a year; $25 for two years © 2016 by 55 PLUS – A Magazine for Active Adults in Upstate New York.

No material may be reproduced in whole or in part from this publication without the express written permission of the publisher. Third class postage paid at Syracuse, NY. Permit Number: 3071

How to Reach Us P.O. Box 276 Oswego, NY 13126 Phone: 315-342-1182 Fax: 315-342-7776 Email: editor@CNY55.com Editor@cnyhealth.com

LAKELAND PROFESSIONAL BUILDING

magine your buisness in a serene environment without the hectic city “hubbub” but still only a few minutes from downtown if necessary. As you look out your office window there is a view of a lake instead of traffic and high-rise buildings. Now there is a new contempoary office building that offers you, your employees and your clients this Class A atmosphere from which to conduct business. Lakeland Professional Building.

Dental Office for rent: Previously a general practitioner office, 2000 square feet, all set up for 4 operatory offices, large waiting room, private doctor’s office, staff lounge with private bathroom and shower, lab and sterilization area, private office manager’s office, suitable for specialists, handicapped accessible, available immediately at the Lakeland Professional Building, 812 State Fair Blvd. Contact Skip DeLorenzo at 315-727-7547

Turning 65? New to Medicare? Confused with Medicare? Do you need help selecting a Medicare plan and learning your options at no cost to you? LET ME HELP!!! I am a Licensed Insurance Agent, available for individual consultations and enrollment.

James A. Pizzolanti, R.Ph. CLTC Long-Term Care Insurance, Life Insurance & Final Expense Insurance, Medicare Supplements, Medicare Advantage, Part D Prescription Drug Plans

Home: 315-468-3598 Cell: 315-256-5993 Web: www.PizzolantiLTC.com Email: Pizzolanti@aol.com April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

Debt of Older Adults Doubles in 10 Years

new report from the National Council on Aging (NCOA) shows that senior household borrowing has increased significantly in the past decade, with over 61 percent of households headed by an adult aged 60-plus carrying some form of debt. The study — Older Adults and Debt: Trends, Trade-offs, and Tools to Help” — highlights how much of this debt accumulates from the basic costs of living.

Findings include: • Among older households with debt, the median total debt was $40,900 in 2013—more than double what it was in 2001. • One-third of senior homeowners owed money on a mortgage or home equity line of credit, with 30 percent owing payments that exceeded one-quarter of their income. • Senior households taking payday loans increased fourfold from 2007 to 2013 (0.5 percent to 2.2 percent). The report includes findings from a survey of professionals who work with seniors. Among those who frequently encounter older adults with debt: • More than 90 percent said that medical debt threatened their clients’ financial security, followed by credit card debt (87 percent) and household utilities (84 percent). • Nearly a quarter found their senior clients were forgoing needed home and vehicle repairs because of debt. • They routinely see seniors making financial trade-offs such as splitting pills, skipping medical appointments, and missing rent/ mortgage payments. “The trade-offs that seniors make to manage debt can have serious negative consequences on their health and financial well-being,” said Maggie Flowers, associate director for economic security at NCOA. 8

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financial health By Jim Miller

The Consequences of Dying Without a Will

f you die without a will, what happens to your assets will be determined by the state you reside in. Every state has intestacy laws in place that parcel out property and assets to a deceased person’s closest relatives when there’s no will or trust. But these laws vary from state-to-state. A good resource to help you find out how your state works is About. com’s Wills and Estate Planning site, which provides a state-by-state breakdown of how your estate would be distributed if you die without a will. See StateIntestacyLaws.com for a direct link to this page. The page for New York is listed there as well. In the meantime, here is a general (not state specific) breakdown of what can happen to a person’s assets, depending on whom they leave behind. • Married with children: When a married person with children dies without a will, all property, investments and financial accounts that are “jointly owned” automatically goes to the surviving co-owner (typically the spouse or child), without going through probate, which is the legal process that distributes a deceased person’s assets. But for all other separately owned property or individual financial accounts, the laws of most states award one-third to one-half to the surviving spouse, while the rest goes to the children. • Married with no children or grandchildren: Some states award the entire estate to the surviving spouse, or everything up to a certain amount (for example the first $100,000). But many other states award only one-third to one-half of the decedent’s separately owned assets to the surviving spouse, with the remainder generally going to the deceased person’s parents, or if the parents are dead, to brothers and sisters. J o i n t l y o w n e d p r o p e r t y, investments, financial accounts or community property automatically goes to the surviving co-owner.

• Single with children: All state laws provide that the entire estate goes to the children, in equal shares. If an adult child of the decedent has died, then that child’s children (the split their parent’s share. • Single with no children or grandchildren: In this situation, most state laws favor the deceased person’s parents. If both parents are deceased, many states divide the property among the brothers and sisters, or if they are not living, their children (your nieces and nephews). If there are none of them, it goes to the next of kin, and if there is no living family, the state takes it.

Make a Will To ensure your assets go to those you want to receive them, you need to create a will. If you have a simple estate and an uncomplicated family situation, there are several good doit-yourself resources that can help you for very little money. One of the best is the Quicken Wi l l M a k e r P l u s 2 0 1 6 s o f t w a re (available at nolo.com) that costs $55, works with Windows personal computers and is valid in every state except Louisiana. If you use a Mac, they offer an online will maker for $35. If, however, you want or need assistance or if you have a complicated financial situation, blended family or have considerable assets, you should hire an attorney. Costs will vary depending on where you reside, but you can expect to pay anywhere between $200 and $1,000 for a will. The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys (naela.org) and the National Association of Estate Planners and Councils (naepc.org) are good resources that have online directories to help you find someone in your area. If money is tight, check with your state’s bar association (see findlegalhelp. org) to find low-cost legal help in your area. Or call the Eldercare Locater at 800-677-1116 for a referral.

WANDERERS’ REST HUMANE ASSOCIATION

NEEDS YOUR HELP

LIVES SAVED THROUGH GENEROSITY OF OTHERS

Wanderers’ Rest Humane Association Is Looking for a Motivated, Outgoing and Energetic Volunteer to plan and organize a major fund-raising event for the summer of 2016 and annually there after. This is your opportunity to help the shelter raise funds. We are open to creating new themes/events and our area covers Onondaga, Madison and Oneida Counties so the possibilities are endless! This person would be responsible for soliciting and managing volunteers and the planning committee, managing the marketing, prizes for raffle items and reaching out into communities to seek support. Raising funds for shelter animals and having fun as a “take charge” kind of individual is exactly what we are looking for. This could be perfect for a retired advertising sales executive, public relations kind of person, homemaker or someone who is looking to take on and build a fundraising event to support animals. For more information or interest contact Joanne by email: Joanne Cronan Hamoy @ wrhaprograms@aol.com

ADOPT.FOSTER.VOLUNTEER.DONATE 7138 Sutherland Dr. PO Box 535 Canastota, NY 13032 507 Plum Street, Suite 300, Syracuse, NY 13204 Phone: (315) 471-8111, Website: www.scolaro.com

Corporate Partner

WRHA founded in 1981 is the sole open admissions dog and cat shelter in Madison County which is dedicated to providing the highest quality care and compassion for the animals entrusted to us, striving to enhance adoptability, and re-homing adoptable animals at the highest rate possible, while educating and leading our community in creating a more humane society.

April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

gardening By Jim Sollecito

Reaping What You Sow

just returned from an adventure in Cuba. I’ve been seeking a legal visit for quite some time. The opportunity arose, so I made the trek. It was indeed a remarkable experience but an undertaking that might not be for everyone. Cubans survive despite a multitude of daily challenges, based mainly on economics. People work hard. Many hold multiple jobs, all for low pay. And because of trade restrictions, supplies are limited. It brought to mind the lessons my Depression-era parents taught their five children. Cubans practice the art of making things last that many Americans have grown to consider

disposable — and just generally taking care. I was struck by their optimism and persistence to make the best of what is available to them. I took seeds with me to share with an organic farm co-operative outside of Havana. On the wall inside one building was a photo series of about 15 people, every one of them over 105 years old. Above the pictures this question was posed: “Who among us will live to see 120?” I admire that kind of drive and optimism, and I consistently find it among people who are close to the earth. Farmers and gardeners around the world continually adjust to conditions, improve their methods and live toward the future. At this time of year I find

Me with an old Chevy in Cuba. 10

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I’m especially eager to get out of bed and look outside each and every day. Changes are exciting and invigorating, the clear air fresh and inviting. You can literally taste it if you want. Go ahead. Try it. No calories. It is easy now to identify parts of our homes and properties that need a little upgrade or TLC. This is the right time to address them. Constant improvement beats delayed perfection every time. Due to your own lifestyle adjustments and time in general, your project might require a wholesale change. Things wear out in Central New York. New materials and plants are better suited to current conditions and future plans. The term low maintenance comes to mind, and body. It’s a great opportunity to make life easier. Or you might just need small improvements here and there: tweaks for efficiency and appearance. Keep in mind that it’s always more effective to work with Mother Nature. It’s easy to get started. Begin by merely thinking of a color you like. I always like a form of yellow or gold because these hues capture available light, even on overcast days. Red brings passion and excitement; delicate pink and bright white glow at dusk. In 43 years, I have yet to see even one landscape that couldn’t benefit from tucking in additional plantings that not only delight the senses but crowd out weeds, too. I call that a win/win. Who among us wouldn’t be brightened by a bit more color in our natural surroundings? If you are going to do anything at all this year, now is a great time to do it. We may or may not live to 120, but there is no time like the present. Take the time now to improve your view and your outlook. It’s a gift to you. If you are stuck, give us a call. We can help you figure it out. Jim Sollecito is the first lifetime senior certified landscape professional in NYS. He operates Sollecito Landscaping Nursery in Syracuse. Contact him at 468-1142 or jim@sollecito.com.

Social Security

Q&A

Q: Should I sign up for Medicare Part B if I am working and have health insurance through an employer? A: Choosing to sign up for Medicare is an important decision that involves a number of issues you may need to consider. The decision you make will depend on your situation and the type of health insurance you have. You may be able to delay signing up for Medicare Part B without a late enrollment penalty if you or your spouse (or a family member, if you’re disabled) is working, and you’re getting health insurance benefits based on current employment. In many cases, if you don’t sign up for Part B when you’re first eligible, you’ll have to pay a late enrollment penalty for as long as you have Part B. Also, you may have to wait until the General Enrollment Period (from Jan. 1 to March 31) to enroll in Part B, and coverage will start July 1 of that year. Find out how your coverage works with Medicare at www.medicare.gov or contact your employer. Q: I'm retiring early, at age 62, and I receive investment income from a rental property I own. Does investment income count as earnings? A: No. We count only the wages you earn from a job or your net profit if you're self-employed. Non-work income such as annuities, investment income, interest, capital gains, and other government benefits are not counted and will not affect your Social Security benefits. Most pensions will not affect your benefits. However, your benefit may be affected by government pensions earned through work on which you did not pay Social Security tax. You can retire online at www.socialsecurity.gov. For more information, call us toll-free at 1-800772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778).

April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

DiningOut

Restaurant

Guide

Chicken riggies with creamy vodka sauce. Diners can have their riggies served with either vodka sauce or plum tomato sauce.

Avicolli’s Restaurant Top contender in the Best Chicken Riggies in CNY By Jacob Pucci

t’s a question Central New Yorkers are always asking: Where are the best chicken riggies? The quintessential dish, spicy, yet creamy; packed with the twang of pickled peppers and Romano cheese, can be found at Italian joints from Utica to Syracuse. With so many choices, it’s tough to crown a victor, but Avicolli’s Restaurant in Liverpool is staking its claim for the title. The dining room was about threequarters full when we arrived for dinner around 6:30 p.m. on a recent Wednesday evening. The other side

55 PLUS - April / May 2016

of the restaurant is the pizzeria, where diners noshed on slices and others waited as their fresh pies baked in the oven. Inside the dining room, the dark tan walls, vintage Italian posters and dim lighting were akin to the food: nothing flashy, but comforting and satisfying. A warm basket of garlic knots was the first to arrive — a pleasant upgrade from the expected Italian bread. The knots also came with a saucer of dried herbs and cheese, to which the diner adds a generous pour of green extravirgin olive oil.

We were just finishing the last of the four garlic knots when the arancini (fried rice balls) arrived. The rice balls, are served atop a bed of tomato sauce and topped with a sprinkling of grated parmesan cheese. The ideal arancini should have a moist interior like risotto, crisp exterior and enough melted cheese inside for that oh-so-perfect pull after taking the first bite. The milky-white interiors were dotted with some form of cured pork — ham or pancetta perhaps? — and the cheesy centers were every bit as satisfying as I was hoping. The outer shells kept their crunch, despite the

Veal parmigiana at Avicolli’s. The dish comes with a side of either pasta, vegetables, potato or rice. coating of tomato sauce. All the dinners include soup or salad and on this cold winter’s night, the soup was the obvious choice. The pasta e fagioli features a rich tomato base, as if a healthy portion of their tomato sauce went into the pot. The beans were soft but not mushy, and held their shape. The other soup, Italian wedding, was a delightful blend of chicken stock, vegetables and lots of bitesized meatballs. Despite their size, the meatballs were flavorful and tender, not mushy. Both cups of soup were gone in minutes. We were hit with a wave of spice and vinegary tartness soon after the soup was finished. Sure enough, it was my chicken riggies passing by on the way to my table. Avicolli’s offers two

version of its chicken riggies — one with a plum tomato sauce, the other with a creamy vodka sauce. We opted for the creamy sauce, since that seemed a bit more authentic to the classic recipe. It’s not the same sauce that would top a plate of penne alla vodka — this version was thicker, spicier and just a bit smoky. The red onions were fried enough to be mostly soft, but still provide just enough bite. The sliced pickled hot cherry peppers provided both the heat and tang in the dish, cutting through the creamy sauce. We also chose the classic veal parmigiana, served with a side of pasta. The greatest sin in the world of parmigiana is a soggy breading that falls off the meat, leaving a pale chicken or veal filet in its wake.

An order of arancini, or fried rice balls filled with cheese and pork served with marinara sauce.

Avicolli’s Pizzeria & Restaurant

Address: 7839 Oswego Road, Liverpool Hours: Pizzeria: Sunday to Thursday: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.; Friday and Saturday: 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. Restaurant: Monday to Thursday: 11 a.m. to 9 p.m., Friday: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m., Saturday: noon to 10 p.m. Sunday: noon to 9 p.m. Website: www.myavicollis.com Fortunately, at Avicolli’s, no culinary crimes were committed. The crisp breading adhered tightly to the tender veal, even under the luxurious blanket of sauce and melted mozzarella cheese. Nick Avicolli opened the original Avicolli’s just up the road in the Seneca Mall in 1983. The current location, 7839 Oswego Road, opened in 2003. Avicolli’s has had plenty of time to get its recipes down pat and that’s exactly what they’ve done. Combine that with prompt, attentive and polite service and you get an enjoyable dining experience of familiar foods executed well. But do they have the best chicken riggies? Maybe. You’ll have to go and find out. April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+ romance Online Dating: Great Way to Meet Potential Dates By Katie Tastrom-Fenton

ove and companionship can be a very rewarding part of life, but it can be a challenge to meet potential partners at any age. For 55-plus people, online dating is increasingly becoming a common way for finding romance. AARP reports this group is the fastest growing demographic of online dating service users. Online dating can be daunting for people of any age, but it can be a safe and rewarding way to expand your network of potential dates. I spoke with Karen, a 65-year-old woman who has been online dating on and off for almost five years. Karen, who

asked that her real name not be included in the story, said she began online dating because she wasn’t meeting anyone that she was interested in at church or during her usual activities. “As a senior, I didn’t feel like I had a lot of time to waste. I wanted to meet an intelligent fit man who wants 14

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a forever partner,” she said. Older adults have an advantage over their younger counterparts, according to a recent story the New York Times. While younger people are looking for someone to marry or start a family with, people over 55 are often finished with all that and are looking for companionship. Therefore seniors have a more relaxed approach and are more likely to focus on things like shared interests, making the whole experience less loaded and fraught with

disappointment. Overall, Karen reported that her experiences meeting some potential matches have been mixed. She said she’s made some friends and had one eight-month relationship. “I am more likely to call a man on his poor behavior and my friends

love to hear some of my latest dating stories,” she says. Since people over 55 are using these online sites more, many senior-specific sites have sprung up to meet their needs. Ourtime.com, for example, is a site for people 50 and over. The AARP also has its own dating site (http:// dating.aarp.org). General dating sites like match.com and eharmony.com will also have a large number of senior members, with match.com saying that almost a third of its members are over 50. If your faith is important to you, Christianmingle.com or Jdate.com may be good places to start.

Those who enjoy the rural life have their own site at farmersonly.com. Most dating sites have an area of “success stories” where you can read about users that have successfully met a long-term partner on the site. I met my own husband of four years online, though I was in my 20s

at the time. I know many people of all ages who have met their partners online. However most of us have also had mixed experiences like Karen did before she found the right match. In my experience, online dating takes some weeding through and making sure you have your guard up at first as some people take advantage of the anonymity that online can offer. For example, Karen tells a story of how she once went out with a man who said he was separated. “I asked how long he was separated for,” she says, “and he told me that he moved into the basement two weeks ago and he wasn’t sure if his wife even knew they were separated!” Needless to say she ended that date quickly. Online dating has become extremely common and acceptable and there is no need to be embarrassed about looking for love on the Internet. However, it is important to use basic safety measures like only meeting in public places, providing your own transportation, and not giving out any of your personal information.

Some places in Central New York that make great places to meet up for the first time are coffee shops like Café Kubal downtown Syracuse or Recess Coffee off of Westcott, which I am particularly partial to because that is where I arranged to meet my (then future) husband for the first time. Further north, the Coffee Connection or Port City Cafe & Bakery in Oswego can also be great places to set up a first meeting. Coffee shops are good because if it doesn’t go well you can end the date without having to wait until the meal is over or the check comes, like in a restaurant. Many dating sites will also have an area with tips for dating safely. The safe dating tips on ourtime.com also notes that staying sober is important and stresses never send money to anyone for any reason. Trust your intuition if you feel like something is off or unsafe in any way. Karen agrees with this and adds, “Remember the person is trying to show you his best side at the beginning. If he doesn’t love his mother or seems to get angry a lot, run.”

Top 5 Online Dating Services in 2016

Bennett Manor Apartments Senior Housing (Elderly and/or Disabled) In Residential Section. E. Irving and Dausman Sts East Syracuse

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Here are the top online dating sites for active adults as ranked by www.consumer-rankings.com. • www.eharmony.com • www.zoosk.com Zoosk is tops in the industry in how they match compatible mature singles and in the attractiveness of their members. • www.ourtime.com OurTime caters to mature users over the age of 50, simplifying the online dating process to help its members succeed in finding true companionship. • www.match.com An online dating heavyweight since 1995, Match gets high marks for the giant size of their membership base (and the options it offers mature singles everywhere in the US and Canada). With in-person mixers, a time-proven matching algorithm, and a six-month guarantee, Match is a premier option to meet other mature singles.

Mature singles seeking a deeper connection based on more than music preference should give eHarmony a try. Millions of people of all ages have used eHarmony’s compatibility matching system to find compatible long-term relationships. • dating.elitesingles.com EliteSingles is an ideal option for mature, sophisticated daters looking for something a little more serious at this point in their lives. Its thorough personality test is designed to only connect members with the best possible matches, understanding that senior daters are more confident about what they want. Thankfully, the website is also a breeze to work around, overruling the myth that online dating is just for kids.

AARP gives you the information to help care for your mom, just like she did with you. You don’t have to do it alone and it’s okay to ask for help. Visit our website or call now to get practical health and wellness tips to provide even better care for your loved one.

aarp.org/caregiving

We provide you information to 1-877-333-5885 give care and give back. AARP gives you the information to help care for your mom, just like she did to do it alone and it’s okay to ask for help. Visit our website or call now to wellness tips to provide even better care for your loved one. We provide you information to give care and give back.

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April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+

aging

Face-lift Anyone? By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

few years ago, Camillus retiree Barbara Fox, now 72, wasn't happy with her looks. She didn't go to DeRoberts Plastic Surgery in Syracuse to transform herself back into her 20-year-old self. "I am not trying to make myself beautiful," she said. "I went to him because I didn't feel good about myself. Even strangers were commenting on my appearance. "They thought I looked so serious all the time." Furrows in her brow and between the corners of her mouth and jaw line lent an angry expression. Passersby often mistook her placid expression. "It looked as if I was mean or mad all the time and I wasn't feeling that way at all," Fox said. "A man I didn't even know said, 'Cheer up, things can't be that bad.' People thought I was upset but I'm actually a very happy person. I wanted more confidence in myself." She chose a mini face-lift to restore her appearance to match her cheery disposition. The three-and-ahalf hour procedure tightened up the sagging and minimized lines on the bottom half of her face. After three to four days, Fox felt good enough to go about her normal activities. The procedure left some bruising, which disappeared within two weeks. "I look much better," she said. She also returned to DeRobert's office to have the area near her temples tightened up, too. Within a week, she was back to all her normal activities. Fox tells anyone considering procedures like hers, "Don't be afraid to do it. It's not that painful. I think

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Before and after. Barbara Fox, a retiree from Camillus is happy she underwent a mini face-lift. “I didn’t feel good about myself. Even strangers were commenting on my appearance. “They thought I looked so serious all the time.” the results will last a long time." Dean DeRoberts, a boardcertified plastic surgeon, heads the plastic surgery office. "There's a wide spectrum of options depending upon what the person's goals are and what they're starting with," he said. He added that breast augmentation or lifts are DeRoberts among the top

procedures for women 55-plus, as is for either gender liposuction, tummy tucks and filler for cheeks or near the nasal-labial line. "Botox is popular for all age groups," DeRoberts said. "Of course, a lot of sun damage at that age group can be treated with chemical peeling or laser resurfacing." He advises anyone considering cosmetic surgery to seek a boardcertified plastic surgeon. "There are other doctors who will say they're board certified cosmetic surgeons, but they may not have plastic surgeon training," DeRoberts said. "With a board certified plastic

surgeon, you get better results." Patients must have medical clearance from their primary care doctor to ensure they're a good candidate for surgery. As for the results, "what will work on a 45-year-old may not work on a 60-year-old," DeRoberts said. "A 45-year-old may get away with putting in filler to get rid of lines, but for a 60-yearold, they may need a facelift." The results also depend upon the extent of the person's skin. People who have spent decades smoking and exposing their skin to sun will suffer more damage than someone who has abstained from these practices. "I've seen 60-year-olds who look 50," DeRoberts said. "It's not just chronological age. He also advises consulting with a facility that offers a full range of treatments since some medical spas can do only chemical peels and cannot offer more invasive and sometimes more effective treatments that a surgical office can. Physician Vito Quatela of

Quatela Center for Plastic Surgery serves clients from Buffalo to Syracuse from his locations in Buffalo and Rochester. He said that the top cosmetic procedures for women 55-plus are injectables, facelifts and eyelid lifts. Recovery time dependents upon the procedure. Injected procedures cause very little downtime. For facelifts and eyelid lifts, seven to 10 days is the average recovery period. "After that time, patients are comfortable and able to go out with makeup," Quatela said. "Patients can expect natural-looking results that help their appearance more typify their inner energy level. The goal is to help them look more rejuvenated and refreshed." Less invasive techniques can also make one's Farah appearance more youthful. Using complementary products with procedures

improves the outcome, according to Joyce Farah, dermatologist at Farah Dermatology and Cosmetics, LLC in Syracuse. Farah said that after lightening freckles and brown spots with laser treatments, for example, "you need to use sunscreen to prevent more." Among Farah Dermatology's many methods, retinoid products can help smooth fine lines and textural anomalies with and, for lines on the forehead or around the eyes, Botox injections. Lines on the cheeks and lips may improve with laser therapy. Micro-needling, also called derma-rolling, or collageninduction therapy, uses a small, pen-like device or a small roller with numerous fine needles to stimulate the skin's own renewal and help deliver skin care products. "You give a very controlled injury to the collagen which causes it to regenerate," Farah said. "When you have the little needles going through, they push the product into the skin deeply where it needs to go through the microscopic openings. It's very effective."

April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+ paperwork What to Keep, What to Toss By Jim Miller

his is a great time of the year to get rid of unnecessary or outdated paperwork and to organize your records in preparation for filing your tax return in the spring. Here’s a checklist of what to keep and what to toss out, along with some tips to help you reduce your future paper accumulation.

Toss Out • ATM receipts and bank-deposit slips as soon as you match them up with your monthly statement. • Credit card receipts after you get your statement, unless you might return the item or need proof of purchase for a warranty. • Credit card statements that do not have a taxrelated expense on them. • Utility bills when the following month’s bill arrives showing that your prior payment was received. If you wish to track utility usage over time, you may want to keep them for a year, or if you deduct a home office on your taxes keep them for seven years. To avoid identity theft, be sure you shred anything you throw away that contains your personal information. It’s best to use a crosscut shredder rather than a strip one, which leaves long paper bands that could be reassembled.

Keep One Year • Paycheck 18

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stubs until you get your W-2 in January to check its accuracy. • Bank statements (savings and checking account) to confirm your 1099s. • Brokerage, 401(k), IRA and other investment statements until you get your annual summary (keep longer for tax purposes if they show a gain or loss). • Receipts for health care bills in case you qualify for a medical deduction.

Keep Seven Years Supporting documents for your taxes, including W-2s, 1099s, and receipts or canceled checks that substantiate deductions. The IRS usually has up to three years after you file to audit you but may look back up to six years if it suspects you substantially underreported income or committed fraud.

Keep Indefinitely • Tax returns with proof of filing and payment. You should keep these for at least seven years, but many experts recommend you keep them forever because they provide a record of your financial history. • IRS forms that you filed when making nondeductible contributions to a traditional IRA or a Roth conversion. • Receipts for capital improvements that you’ve made to your home until seven years after you sell the house. • Retirement and brokerage account annual statements as long as you hold those investments. • Defined-benefit pension plan documents. • Savings bonds until redeemed. • Loan documents until the loan is paid off. • Vehicle titles and registration information as long as you own the car, boat, truck, or other vehicle. • Insurance policies as long as you have them. • Warranties or receipts for big-ticket purchases for as long as you own the item, to support warranty and insurance claims.

Keep Forever Personal and family records like birth certificates, marriage license, divorce papers, Social Security cards, military discharge papers and estate-planning documents (power of attorney, will, trust and advanced directive). Keep these in a fireproof safe or safe-deposit box.

Reduce Your Paper To reduce your paper clutter, consider digitizing your documents by scanning them and converting them into PDF files so you can store them on your computer and back them up onto a USB flash drive or external hard drive like icloud. com or carbonite.com. Your can also reduce your future paper load by switching to electronic statements and records whenever possible.

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55+

sports

Doug Roberts and his baseball team Houston Colt, which plays at the Roy Hobbs World Series in Ft. Myers. Roberts, a local attorney, is the first on the left on the upper row.

A Return to Baseball, More Than 45 Years Later Syracuse attorney now plays for the Houston Colts 65 at the Roy Hobbs World Series By Aaron Gifford

oug Roberts never liked softball. If the game didn’t have sliders, curve balls, leading off and stealing bases, he had no interest in trying it. Roberts hung up his glove after college and took on the role of spectator for five decades, never imagining he’d get to play hardball again. But that special day came last year, after Roberts’ old friend and former baseball opponent, John DeFrancisco, talked about an old-timers tournament in Florida. R o b e r t s , a n a t t o r n e y, a n d DeFrancisco, a state senator, competed against each other often back in

55 PLUS - April / May 2016

Syracuse Little League, high school and then in Division I college — Roberts at Cornell and DeFrancisco at Syracuse University. This time, however, they intended to be teammates. “We tried to make a team from Syracuse,” Roberts said. “We put out feelers to 20 guys. Unfortunately, the ones who wanted to play were me and him. If someone like John couldn’t [recruit senior players], no one could.” On the advice of DeFrancisco, who had played in the tournament the previous year, Roberts put his name on a “free agent list.” The former outfielder was contacted by players from a Texas-based team that had been

Doug Roberts in a game against Tallahassee Nov. 13, ready to hit the ball. Roberts’ team, the Houston Colts won the game 19-5.

competing since 1989. In July, Roberts officially “unretired” from the game, dusted off his glove and prepared for the trek to join the “Houston Colts 65” at the Roy Hobbs World Series in Ft. Myers, Fla., in November. “One of the first things I did was have someone hit me some fly balls,” the Syracuse resident said. “It had been such a long time. It was like going to Mars.” But a lifetime of healthy habits benefited the 67-year-old’s efforts to get back into playing shaped. Roberts’ father, physician Fred Roberts, was a pediatrician, and his mother, Ann Roberts, was a nutritionist. “None of the kids ever wanted to come to our house for dinner,” he recalled with a laugh. Healthy diets, exercise, good sleeping habits and hard work were staples in the Roberts household. Doug said he somehow “didn’t have the DNA” for the sciences, so he gravitated toward history, social studies and current events, graduating from Cornell before going onto law school at the University at Buffalo. He initially worked for a small business administration disaster loan program, and returned to Central New York to become an assistant district attorney. Roberts eventually opened his own practice, specializing in medical malpractice cases. Although he is past the age of retirement and financially secure, Roberts does not see retirement on the horizon. “I like the challenge,” he said. “I want to keep working, like my dad [who practiced medicine into his 90s]. I’ll never quit.” At Cornell, Roberts led his team in hitting with .424 batting average. He played alongside Ken Dryden, who was also a hockey goaltender for the Cornell Big Red and later starred with the Montreal Canadiens. Dryden was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame before serving as a Canadian member of parliament. “He was our shortstop,” Roberts said. “Nothing got by him.” After college graduation, Roberts took up tennis and still plays multiple times per week year round. In the summer, he bikes the hilly country roads in southern Madison County. But even those workouts didn’t immediately prepare Roberts for his return to the diamond after being in

Doug Roberts, a Syracuse attorney, photographed in February at Palm Island, Miami Beach. In July, Roberts officially “unretired” from baseball, dusted off his glove and prepared for the trek to join the “Houston Colts 65” at the Roy Hobbs World Series in Ft. Myers, Fla. the stands for over 45 years. “I was able to remember by batting stance,” he said. “It eventually came back to me and I started hitting again, but my quads took a beating.” The Roy Hobbs World Series is enjoyed by more than 4,000 players in a variety of age groups. The Houston Colts competed in the over-65 division, their 26th year in the competition. The team previously won championships in the over-40, over-50, and over-55 divisions, and three of the original members are still on the roster. This year ’s over-65 division featured eight retired Major League Baseball players, including former Red Sox Bill “Spaceman” Lee, whose team from New England took the championship. “It’s been called Little League for old people, but the competition is actually pretty tough,” said John Allen, Houston Colts pitcher and an original member. “You see former All-Americans start making errors, and it can turn into a Bad News Bears situation. At this level, it’s still a hitter’s game.” In Ft. Myers, teams in the over-65 division got to play on the Pittsburgh Pirates training grounds. With the well-groomed facilities and the air of

competition all around him, Roberts had that slightly nervous but excited feeling he recalled at the Cornell tryouts as a teen-ager. But within a few minutes, he felt at ease with his new teammates. And even though Roberts was the fourth-oldest guy on the team, he was still called “The Rookie.” “It took about one minute to feel at home with these guys. They took me under their wing right away,” he said. “I made 20 friends.” “Everybody really took a quick liking to him,” Allen said of Roberts. “We could tell right quick that old Doug was a pretty good athlete back in the day. Everyone really enjoyed him. For a Yankee and an Ivy Leaguer, he did pretty good!” Allen, 65, grew up in northern Louisiana and moved back there recently after a long career in the pipeline industry in Houston. During his rookie season with the Colts, he was 39 years old. He occasionally makes the six-hour drive to play with his teammates in Texas and plans to continue the annual pilgrimages to Ft. Myers. He also competes in the master’s division of senior track and field meets, and is currently ranked seventh in the world for the over-65 javelin event. And like Roberts, Allen never cared much for softball. “Maybe I did a church league for a few games when I was in my 20s, but that was it,” he said. “It’s just not baseball.” The Colts played seven nine-inning games in seven days, reaching the final four before being eliminated with a 15-9 loss. Roberts, who batted .417 in the tournament, said even though it was a loss, that game contained one of his most memorable moments of the tournament: With two outs and no one on base at the bottom of the ninth inning, he hit a ground ball to shortstop and beat the throw to first base, colliding with the infielder to make the play. “It was to show I still had the competitive juices,” he said. “They asked me back on the spot.” Roberts has already started planning for the 2016 tournament, with a special emphasis on strengthening his quads and maybe getting more batting practice at NBT Stadium with some of his friends who work with the Syracuse Chiefs. “Next time,” he said, “I want to put on a show.” April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

my turn

By Bruce Frassinelli Email: bruce@cny55.com

What’s Happening with Customer Service?

I’ve had a string of bad experiences recently

n some stores, customer service seems to have disappeared. Even in supermarkets that have been named among the best in customer service in the nation, there is occasional slippage. I stopped by Wegmans the other day to pick up a seven-inch sub (my favorite, capicola on that delicious wheat bread). I took my purchase to a nearby register where a woman was frantically pounding at a calculator; another was checking on pizza in the oven, and a third was behind the counter looking around, including right at me. She

made no move toward me. It probably wasn’t her job. I was the only one in line at the time. Almost a minute passed when the woman on the calculator looked up briefly and said, “Be right with you,” then returned, again pounding at the numbers on the calculator. Another minute passed, and, by this time, three more customers had backed up behind me. I looked at them, and they looked at me in exasperation. Regrettably, too often these days, when I come back from shopping, I feel disrespected, ignored, sometimes even invisible. I am agitated and riled. My parents owned a corner grocery store when I was a kid. My brothers and I worked in that store while we were growing up. My father drilled it into my head every day: The customer comes first. Whatever you’re doing, drop it, and take care of the customer. The customer is always right. Even though I am up there in age, 22

55 PLUS - April / May 2016

I am not an unreasonable shopper. I am polite, say “please” and “thank you,” and I’m respectful. I went into a convenience store the other day to buy a candy bar — my favorite, Chunky. When I went to the counter with my $5 bill, the woman muttered, looked up, but said nothing. Nearly a minute went by while she continued to do some chore she apparently had started before I arrived at the counter and appeared annoyed that I had interrupted her. I put down the Chunky on the counter and walked out. I didn’t make

a scene, even though I was steaming. No sale. Her competitor down the street was going to get this sale, even if it was for only a dollar and some change. Customers may forget what a service rep said, but they will never forget how a customer service person made them feel. It’s almost as if the term “customer service” is an oxymoron for some of these clerks. Is it their fault, or have they not been adequately trained to understand that the customer must come first? What I would like to tell them – and what their bosses should be telling them — is that without the customer they don’t have a job. So whatever that oh-so-important task

was that superseded taking care of the customer, it becomes irrelevant if there are no customers to serve. I can’t tell you the number of times that a clerk has given me change or handed me my credit card receipt without a word. No “thank you,” not even the half-hearted “have a nice day.” Nothing. What angered me after the fact is that I thanked her! For what? Her rudeness? I do not feel very special at times such as these. When you call by phone to make a complaint, your first challenge is to make it through the gauntlet of prompts.

I called one of my medical providers recently to report that I had been billed for a service for which I had sent a check several months earlier. “Let me look into it,” the customer service person said. After being on hold for about two minutes listening to in-house promotions and insipid music,

I was told there was no record of the payment. “Your office cashed the check,” I told her. She insisted that there was no record of the payment. I reminded her again that the check had been cashed and my account debited. She asked me to mail her a copy of

the canceled check. I asked her why I had to go through the effort to locate the canceled check from my electronic checking account, then spend 49 cents on a stamp for an error that was not of my doing. “But, sir,” she said — the “sir” dripping with sarcasm — “this is our policy.” “Well,” I told her with equal sarcasm, “my policy is for you to find the problem and fix it. Here is my phone number. Let me know when you do.” She called me the next day to report that the “missing” check had been “found.” She said that an unnamed employee had coded the check incorrectly, and the payment was credited to another account. There was no apology or concern about the trouble I had gone through to resolve this issue. Somehow, in her mind, I was the unreasonable one. What infuriates me and others is when customer service reps pass the buck by pointing fingers at a computer glitch, a new employee or some internal issue. One of the main problems for poor customer service is that the reps are not empowered to solve issues. When reps are given authority to do whatever it takes to make the customer happy, customer satisfaction rises exponentially. Surveys show that more than 70 percent of complaining customers will return to a store or business if the problem is resolved in their favor. That number grows to 95 percent if the issue is resolved on the spot. How many times have you written a letter and never even gotten the courtesy of a reply? Many customers just throw up their hands in disgust and resignation. Rather than duke it out, customers figure it’s easier to take their business elsewhere. While service providers should have a keen eye when a customer is exasperated, most have the sensitivity of a stone, or, many just don’t care. When I asked a customer service provider once why he didn’t seem to care about my problem, he said, with surprising frankness, “It’s tough to care too much when I’m getting paid $7.25 an hour.” Alan Weiss, author of “Million Dollar Consulting,” said it best: “Ask your customers to be part of the solution, and don’t view them as part of the problem.”

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April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+

entertaining

The Nostalgia Notes have been performing to older audiences in Syracuse for 26 years. Here from left to right are group members Hank Krzykowski, Barbara Becker, Dick Case, Herb Shay, Helen Cavanaugh, Shirley Keech, Charlotte Haas and Charlie Mann.

Feeling Nostalgic Nostalgia Notes take listeners on trip back to yesteryear By Matthew Liptak

he Nostalgia Notes have been using their smooth, soothing voices to sing gentle songs full of melody to audiences for 26 years now. The group of six singers and two pianists performs to appreciative audiences around Syracuse. They've been going to nursing homes and senior living communities since 1989. “It's just fun to do and it pleases people,” said Helen Cavanaugh, founder of the group. “We have a good time together. We're all quite friendly within our group.” The group sings about 30 times a year averaging from a dozen to 50 people in the audience, she said. Cavanaugh estimates they've given around 500 performances so far. “We basically are volunteer because we all love to sing,” she

55 PLUS - April / May 2016

said. “We don't want to end up in a wheelchair somewhere.” Most members of the group are in their 80s or 90s now, except for one. A July performance at The Hearth at Greenpoint in Liverpool was testimony to the fact that their popularity hasn't dimmed over the years. A few dozen in the audience listened enthusiastically as the Nostalgia Notes performed solo renditions and also as a group. They even incorporated sing-a-longs. They did songs like “Happy Days are Here Again,” “A Spoonful of Sugar,” “Fools Rush In,” “Stardust,” and Cavanaugh “Wouldn't it be

Loverly?” The old ballads and show tunes captured their listeners’ attention for about an hour. Harry Krzykowski, 89, sang a rendition of “Among My Souvenirs,” which he called his theme song. It was written the year he was born, 1926. The Greenpoint performance happened to be a pivotal one for the group. It was the last for Charlie Mann, 96, a veteran of the Battle of the Bulge in World War II, who was resigning from the Nostalgia Notes. It was also the last performance of Herb Shay, 85, who was going to Illinois to be with his daughter.

Bidding adieu Shay said he would miss the Nostalgia Notes and hoped to join a similar group if one was near his new home.

The Nostalgia Notes group playing at a local nursing home last summer. Shirley Keech, 80, is one of the group's pianists. Before the performance at Greenpoint, Keech said she will miss Shay, who sometimes sits in with her on the piano. “He and I have done duets for a long time as part of the program,” she said. “We'll do our last one together today. He's very good. He's an excellent

piano player. He does jazz, Count Basie.” The group practices Mondays at St. Paul's United Methodist Church in the Valley section of Syracuse. Four of their performers have passed on over the decades. Cavanaugh began the group when she was working as the activities

director at the now-defunct Wagon Wheel Senior Center in Syracuse. “The Wagon Wheel was one of the first senior centers in the area,” she said. “It was a great program. They had different activities every day.” Cavanaugh has been singing since childhood and even made an attempt at a professional career in Boston. She came back to Syracuse after deciding that education was more of a priority. She went on to get two master's degrees in education from Syracuse University and then got a job at the college. But music has never left her. She said she has fun singing with the group she founded. “I guess I'm a ham at heart,” she said. “I enjoy going up and singing. We're very informal. We ad lib a lot — crack a joke every once in while.” The group is considering adding new blood too. Darrell White has been testing the waters by singing with the group. They may well need his help with the loss of the two veterans. The Greenpoint performance ended with an emotional send-off for Mann and Shay. The group, along with the audience, serenaded them with a rousing rendition of “For He's a Jolly Good Fellow.”

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April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

55+

midlife

David Figura and his wife Laura. His new book, “So What Are the Guys Doing?” discusses male depression and middle age crisis that he says affects many men.

Journalist: ‘Is This as Good as it Gets?’ Book by writer David Figura attempts to capture mid-life challenges By Mary Beth Roach

ocal journalist David J. Figura describes himself as “an average middle-aged guy who likes the outdoors, sports and beer. I’m married, balding, fighting the battle of the gut, and I drink too much coffee.” Like many average middle-aged guys, when he hit his early to mid-50s, he recalled asking himself, ‘Is this as good as it gets?’” He was unhappy in his marriage, resenting his wife, Laura, who had a number of friends and participated in a lot of activities. He, on the other hand, felt that he had no close friends and nothing outside of his work. He was going through what some might label a mid-life crisis.

55 PLUS - April / May 2016

In short, he was miserable, he described his life as out of balance, and he was even tempted to begin an affair. “Laura was doing all these girlfriend getaways on weekends, and I was just sitting on my butt on weekends, doing nothing,” he said. But then he and Laura went to marriage counseling, and it started him on a path — albeit a very winding one — that included a great deal of self-discovery. Now at the age of 62, Figura is the outdoors writer for The Post-Standard and syracuse.com. He’s also a blogger, and he’s published his first book, “So What Are The Guys Doing?” It attempts to answer what husbands and boyfriends are doing

while their wives or girlfriends are pursuing hobbies and fostering friendships. “I thought, there’s books about male depression, male menopause, but nothing about guys connecting. So I started interviewing a few male friends, and I thought maybe there’s a book here. What I started getting right off the bat was reaffirming that what I’m going through, they’re going through.” His book, he hoped, would let guys know they are not alone in feeling trapped. But it was up to them to make changes and take the risks necessary to make themselves happy. “It won’t happen unless I do it,” said Figura. This statement has served as a mantra for Figura, and he has had it written on a piece of paper taped to his mirror as a constant reminder. Soon, the reporter in him kicked in, and Figura, with more than 30 years experience as a journalist and editor, prepared a list of questions that ran two pages, and began interviewing acquaintances from all walks of life. Admittedly, the questions could tend to get very personal — inquiring about, among other topics, their sex lives and the idea of “the other woman.” Once Figura assured his interviewees that he would not use their real names, he was surprised at how personal some of their disclosures were. “I was shocked at how they opened up,” he said. “They enjoyed the discussion; they talked to other friends about it. And then they referred other people to me.”

Up close and personal The interviews with 50 men are only part of the journey that Figura takes his readers on in his book. He also shares a lot of personal experiences, including his contemplation of an extramarital affair, marriage counseling, his job change, heart-toheart conversations with friends, and his attempts and ultimately successes at building relationships. This is not a “10 easy ways to make your life better” book, he said. This is about what he went through and what other guys go through.

“I was living it as I was writing it. A lot of stuff that went on in the book occurred during the course of the book, like changing jobs, which was inspired by one of the guys I interviewed,” he said. To take the outdoors writer’s job at The Post-Standard and syracuse. com was a big risk for him. He would be leaving an editor’s position, which had a lot of pressure, to take on this new role, and there were financial considerations to weigh. But the newspaper business was changing dramatically both locally and across the country, and Figura knew he had to embrace that change. In the interview for the new job, he promised his bosses he would cover “everything from birding to bear hunting,” he said. The job, he said, has played to his strengths. He loves the outdoors, he’s got experience in social media and blogging, and his previous experience as an assignment editor has enabled him to come up with story ideas – all of which has helped to broaden the readership base. Melding his experiences and those of his interviewees to create a manuscript took about seven years, he said. He then shopped it around to approximately 20 publishers, but to no avail. He was determined to do it all without an agent. However, Figura met up with former NFL star, author

and attorney Tim Green on a charity walk in the village of Skaneateles, where both men live. Green tried to persuade Figura to get the manuscript done and to find an agent. Figura admitted he got frustrated and left the piece on his shelf for two more years. T h ro u g h b o o k a g e n t L a u r a Ponticello, another Skaneateles resident, Figura was introduced to best-selling author and columnist Amy Dickinson. The latter was starting a national website and invited Figura to be the middle-aged voice on the website. He said he wrote 16 columns, including a first-hand account of getting a vasectomy. When Dickinson decided to end her website, Figura created his own blog — “Tales from the Middle Ages.” A while later, he received an email from Ponticello, saying she was going to start her own publishing company.

Reaffirming experience She had gotten his manuscript a few years before, had held onto it, and wanted it to be her debut project. She gave him three months to rewrite the last three chapters, during which time he added the chapter titled “Guys Who Get It.” The book was finally published in 2014, and since that time, he remarked that he is still surprised at what his

readers — men and women, alike — take away from the book. He attended 43 events last year, between speaking engagements and book-signings, and he said he keeps getting reaffirmed. One of these events, he recalled, featured an all-female group. “The women are all nodding while saying, ‘Oh, yeah. You need to talk to my husband, my boyfriend, my brother. You need to talk to my father. Or they need to read this book.” A female friend of his, an admitted workaholic, read the book and took away another of Figura’s messages — “good friends make for a good life.” She has since reconnected with a childhood friend and they organized a neighborhood reunion. In sharing so much of the Figura’s personal story as a couple working on their marriage, Figura admits there is some hard stuff in there, and wife Laura was key in reviewing the manuscript. She said, with a smile, “I edited the crap out of the book.” Of their marriage, “we came to an agreement that all of this is in the rear-view mirror,” Figura said. “We’re both very happy with each other; we’re both very much in love with each other still and this was just a hump we got through during our relationship.” The couple has been married for 34 years and has two grown children, Katie and Alex.

Figura working at his at his Skaneateles home. He writes a column for The Post-Standard about the outdoors. April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

real estate By Janice Egan

T 1

Things to Do Before You Sell Your Home

he thought of selling your home or even downsizing can be intimidating and stressful. Here are seven things that can be done ahead of time to make the process of selling a more positive experience. Home inspection. I highly recommend having it completed before putting your home on the market. Make sure it is done by a licensed home inspector. The buyer may still want their own home inspection, but at least you can repair and replace anything that needs to be done ahead of time. If you live in an area where the radon levels are known to be high, I would also recommend having

a radon test. If the radon reads 4.0 and above I recommend you have a mitigation system. If the radon is high the buyer may ask you to credit them or put one in. They will ask for items to be replaced or repaired before they proceed. The buyer can walk away if they are not comfortable with the results and in most cases they are also able to get their deposit back. Simplify. Over the years we all accumulate a lot of stuff. Pack away all your personal items, like family photos, old boxes and unused furniture. Have a garage sale or if it is an estate hire an auctioneer to have the sale for you and they will clean everything out. I recommend consulting with a home stager. They will let you know what to do to get your home ready to sell. A stager is in the business of getting your home ready to sell. Their reputations depend on it. They can let you know what to do or they can stage your home for you. This is especially important if you have a vacant home. Buyers will hang around the house longer and get a better feeling of how their home could look.

Clean it up.

Clean up the outside of your home, trim bushes, plant flowers. If the exterior needs painting or repair you should do so. You want buyers to be in love as soon as they walk up to your home. 28

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Get an attorney. You will need a real estate attorney for that matter. Find one ahead of time so you are ready when you get an offer. An attorney will make sure the purchase contract is good when you sell your home. He will also update all the paperwork for the house. Price it right. Ask your real estate professional to do a market analysis for you so you know how to price your home. If you overprice your home, it will sit on the market longer and in the end you end up getting less. If you underprice your home you may be selling it for less than it is worth. An experienced real estate agent will make sure your home is priced to sell. Do not go by the appraised value when selling your home. Presentation. Make sure the pictures taken of your home are great and your home is looking its best. You want your pictures to look great online to attract more buyers. Make it smell good. Make sure your home smells good. Buyers are turned off by bad odors. If you have an open house, bake some brownies or something that smells yummy. Make sure your home looks its best. Fresh flowers are a nice touch. Buyers love warm and cozy. They will fall in love! Your real estate agent can also give you a list of home inspectors, contractors, landscapers and real estate attorneys. But remember that presentation is everything, Happy home selling.

5 6 7

Janice Egan is a real estate agent with Keller Williams Realty in Syracuse. To contact her, call 701-6900 or visit www. janiceegan.com

Being Happy Doesn’t Increase Life Span

eing happy is nice and all, but don’t count on happiness to add years to your life — a new study finds that how happy you are doesn’t seem to affect your risk of dying early. The study did find that being unhappy was linked with an increased risk of early death, but it turned out that this was actually because people in poor health also tend to be unhappy. In other words, poor health, and not unhappiness, was the true cause of early death, the researchers said. “Illness makes you unhappy, but unhappiness itself doesn’t make you ill,” study researcher Bette Liu, of the University of New South Wales in Australia, said in a statement. “We found no direct effect of unhappiness or stress on mortality For the study, the researchers analyzed information from more than 700,000 U.K. women whose average age was 59. The researchers found that 39 percent of the women said they were happy most of the time, 44 percent said they were usually happy and 17 percent said they were usually unhappy. The women who were unhappy were 29 percent more likely to die over the 10-year period, compared with the women who were happy most of the time. However, poor health at the start of the study was strongly associated with unhappiness, and the researchers found that, after they took into account the women’s health, the link between unhappiness and early death went away. “Many still believe that stress or unhappiness can directly cause disease, but they are simply confusing cause and effect,” Richard Peto, a co-author of the study and a professor ofmedical statistics and epidemiology at the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom, said in a statement. The new study “shows that happiness and unhappiness do not themselves have any direct effect on death rates.”

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cover

Inside Scoop Pioneer in the study of television talks about career, how TV has changed and the worst TV shows ever produced By Aaron Gifford

hy should television be taken seriously? And why do smart people watch stupid

television? These are two questions that Syracuse University Newhouse School of Public Communications Professor Robert Thompson, 56, never gets tired of answering. It’s what the media scholar defended for his academic advancements, and one of the main reasons he is quoted in the national media on a weekly basis. It’s why the study of television history exploded from a small fringe group over 30 years ago to legitimate graduate and postgraduate programs at colleges and universities across the nation. And it’s why Central New York has become the Mecca of pop culture criticism. “He’s the most quoted [professor] from any field at SU,” said David Rubin, former dean of the Newhouse School. “He put the Newhouse School

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out front in the teaching of TV and popular culture. He’s in everybody’s rolodex.” Just as the spring 2016 semester was getting underway, Thompson took some time recently to talk about his upbringing and career, his affection for Central New York, his goals for Syracuse University, the challenges of aging and, of course, television appreciation. Though a pioneer in his field, Thompson is quick to point out that television was not central to his life as a youngster. He didn’t become fixated on cartoons, sitcoms and news programs. His earliest memory of the tube was watching “Huckleberry Hound” and “The Magilla Gorilla Show” on Saturday mornings. While those shows were quite entertaining, they didn’t leave that much of an impression “beyond footie pajamas, sugary cereals and being sad for a few minutes after the cartoons ended promptly at noon,” Thompson said. He was raised in Westmount, Ill.,

20 miles outside of Chicago, in the home his grandfather built in 1924. It has remained in the family, with Thompson’s sister still living there today. Westmount evolved from a small town to a sprawling megalopolis, the professor said. “It was almost a Mayberry-like place,” Thompson recalled, referring to the setting of “The Andy Griffith Show.” He still visits there regularly but, “because of the traffic, it makes me glad to go back to Central New York.” Thompson described himself as a bookish, introverted kid. His parents had not attended college and his dad worked as a plumber. In junior high school, Thompson attempted to complete the “Harvard Classics” collection of classic novels, because he felt all of the other books offered to him at his grade level weren’t challenging enough. “I doubt I understood 5 percent of what I was reading,” he said, “but I was bound and determined to get

Syracuse University Newhouse School of Public Communications Professor Robert Thompson: â&#x20AC;&#x153;I would only find three books [on television history]. There was virtually no one doing it,â&#x20AC;? he says, referring to his desire to pursue a career in the study of television.

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through it.” In high school, Thompson preferred science, particularly astronomy. One television moment that had stood out for him, while in grade school, was the first man on the moon. He joined star-watching clubs, attending summer astronomy camps at college campuses in Iowa and Washington state. Thompson first aspired to become an astronaut, but, “when I realized how easily I got nauseous [motion sickness], I realized that wasn’t going to happen.” Thompson then explored the possibilities of becoming an astrophysicist. That dream was quickly shattered in college. He was strong in

math in high school, but not at the level of the other aspiring rocket scientists. “It was kind of heart-breaking,” Thompson said. “It would have been the same if my dream was to become an Olympic gymnast — same odds.”

Course provides direction While an undergraduate student at the University of Chicago, Thompson took an art history course as an elective, and absolutely loved it. That’s when the wheels for becoming an expert in a field somewhere started turning. “I left this class feeling like I had been shot out of a cannon,” he said. The dream of becoming an art

history professor came and went fairly quickly. Thompson was intimidated by the number of books that had already been written on the topic and felt that he was maybe getting into the game too late to break into the field. It was another elective, this time during his senior year that finally put Thompson on a career path: “The History of Cinema,” with professor Gerald Mast. “I started thinking, ‘What if we did this with television?” Thompson said. “I would only find three books [on television history]. There was virtually no one doing it. Unlike art history, I could become proficient in the field. This was exciting to me.” When it came to television, the

Thumbs Up and Thumbs Downs

yracuse University Professor Robert Thompson, one of the media’s most quoted academic sources when it comes to television or pop culture, provided 55 Plus some insight on a few of his favorite topics:

• On the worst shows in television history:

He said there are too many to name, just as there would be too many good shows to name. However, there are two very unusual shows that didn’t last more than one season —- “Cop Rock” and “Super Train.” “Cop Rock” (1990-1991) — This appeared to be a police drama in the spirit of “Hill Street Blues.” But in some scenes, the case would spontaneously break out into song and dance. This went on for 11 episodes. “Supertrain” (1979) — In the spirit of “Love Boat,” the characters set out for a time of leisure and may have had relationship issues. This show, however, was set in the future on a nuclear-powered bullet train that had pools, restaurants, bars and spas. It lasted nine episodes.

• On why he watches “The Bachelor:”

Thompson calls this show contrived and unrealistic, yet still intelligent. “It’s like a chemistry 32

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experiment,” he says. “Twenty-five people are chosen that are going to act in volatile ways with one another. It takes skill to put that together, and casting is so crucial.”

• On his favorite alum:

Thompson taught Mick “Nick” Foley at SUNY Cortland for one year before being hired at Syracuse University. Foley went on to become a professional wrestling star, actor/ comedian, novelist, and author of children’s books. Foley started putting on wrestling productions while still in college. “He was this big hulky guy who wrote great papers,” Thompson recalled. “He was an incredibly good student.”

• On what opera and ice hockey has in common:

These are two things that Thompson knew little about before challenging himself to become a fan. As with Shakespeare (of which Thompson has 400 productions on DVD) opera was foreign but intriguing to Thompson until he learned the history and nuances of the genre. For opera, his guide was longtime colleague David Rubin. “I had felt inferior because I just didn’t get it,” Thompson said. But after listening to 10 or 15 CDs of the most basic operas, he began to understand how and why the drama is effectively chopped up into musical segments,

and he came to love it. He took the same approach with ice hockey. Even though he grew up in Blackhawk-crazed Chicago, Thompson never paid much attention to the sport. Personnel with the Syracuse Crunch organization sat with him in the stands and explained player techniques and team strategies. He now understands hockey, but still doesn’t like it. “I made the effort,” he said, “but it never stuck.”

• On how television news has changed:

Thompson was already an expert in this area before CNN and other cable news networks saturated the market. In a 15-year period, television evolved from the big three national news programs (ABC, CBS and NBC) that did 30-minute evening broadcasts to the big three plus the big three 24-hour networks (CNN, MSNBC and Fox). Initially, those 24-hour networks carved out a niche for themselves, with CNN strongest in breaking news and Fox more specialized with commentary segments. But then all three felt they had to do every aspect of the news better than each other, and quality suffered, Thompson explains. “Generally you want more voices,” he said, “but in this case it just got too crazy and hasn’t worked out so well.”

Professor Robert Thompson at his office at Newhouse School of Public Communications. approach to teaching its history could be very similar to teaching modern art history. And to Thompson’s delight, Northwestern University in Chicago was one of the few places that offered post-graduate level courses in radio, television and film studies. “After I got my acceptance letter,” he recalled, “I would set the envelope next to my bed each night so it would be the first thing I’d see in the morning. It was one of the happiest moments of my life.” At that time, the early 1980s, there was quite a backlash on campus over the university’s decision to offer such a program, which many accomplished academics dismissed. The whole point of college, Thompson recalled being told, was not to watch so much television. He put his head down and dedicated his life to this emerging field en route to defending his master ’s thesis on why smart people watch stupid shows like “The Love Boat.” The tide changed significantly with the creation of “Hill Street Blues,” an intelligent police drama that impressed even the toughest entertainment

critics. In the history of television, after an array of shows that featured flying nuns, talking horses, suburban genies and “Charlie’s Angels,” America had to acknowledge that, when it came to entertainment, TV could offer something that Broadway, the symphony or serious novels did not do, Thompson said. “Most of the time we spent arguing why TV should be taken seriously,” he said. “We were a small but energetic community. ‘Hill Street Blues’ was a nice bit of timing. It was sophisticated, thought-provoking programming. And years later we had the continued renaissance with shows like ‘The Sopranos,’ ‘Breaking Bad,’ ‘Fargo,’ ‘Mad Men,’ ‘The Wire’ … ”

Bring in the experts Thompson also taught courses at Northwestern while he worked on the advanced degrees. Occasionally, he brought famed movie critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert into his class as guest lecturers. Even then, the rivalry between the two Chicago columnists

was fun but fierce. “Man, were they hilarious,” Thompson said. “When I sent a car to pick up Gene, only then would Roger insist on getting a car sent to him, too. I tell you, though, Roger Ebert was one of the smartest guys I’ve ever met.” Thompson remained at Northwestern to work on a PhD in the same field. He recalled waking up at 2 a.m. on some weekdays to tape reruns of the “Rockford Files” on his Beta Max, stopping the recordings during the commercials to save precious space on the blank tapes, which cost more than $20 each at the time. Christmas, birthdays or any other occasions where a gift could be given, Thompson always asked for more tapes. His doctoral dissertation included a collage of work from television show creator Stephen J. Cannell, who went on to write “The A-Team,” “The Greatest American Hero,” “21 Jump Street” and “The Commish” and many other series. He successfully defended the paper and then landed his first teaching job at SUNY Cortland. The professor was quick to point April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

out that the work involved much more than becoming a walking encyclopedia of names and dates in the television world. To understand the roots of TV, you need to understand radio. To understand radio, you need to understand Vaudeville. To understand Vaudeville, you need to understand the history of the circus. The same day that Thompson was officially awarded his PhD, he received a phone call from “60 Minutes.” The investigative journalism program wanted to do a piece on the relevance of television history on college campuses, and Thompson was to be one of its main sources. Thompson accepted the invitation. As correspondent Morley Safer made the trip to Cortland, he offered the college professor one question to prepare for the grilling: How can you justify spending state tax dollars to give young adults college credits for watching re-runs of “Leave it to Beaver?” “It was really exciting, but really spooky,” Thompson said. “He came there very loaded for bear. We had heard this before. ‘The boob tube will rot your mind; go read a book.’ We were ready for this.”

Groundbreaking moment Thompson said the “60 Minutes” segment was fair and balanced, and he felt it went a long way in making his case to millions of people that there is more to television than meets the eye. NBC’s “Dateline” did a similar piece on Thompson nine years later, and he was equally pleased with its piece. By the late 1990s, there appeared to be little or no resistance to the study of television history. “I actually miss the days when we had to make the argument,” said Thompson, who began authoring books on the subject after the “60 Minutes” piece aired. Thompson had worked as a parttime adjunct professor at Syracuse University while still full-time at Cortland. He was hired to teach at Syracuse University full-time in 1991. Rubin, the dean of SU’s Newhouse School of Communications at the time, still remembers the job interview. “I was told he was smart and perhaps could be useful to us,” Rubin said. “Indeed he was very smart and engaging as a speaker. I liked his ideas. 34

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I always liked to rock the boat a little bit.” With Rubin’s support, Thompson established SU’s Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture. It contained a massive collection of television scripts and history dating back several decades. The center also sponsors symposiums and oversees the publication of Syracuse University Press’ books on television-related topics. E v e r y Tu e s d a y a f t e r n o o n , Thompson hosts an optional bag lunch seminar there where he’ll show an event relevant to recent happenings in the news, or maybe just offer something obscure like the old “Beatles” or “Jackson 5” cartoons that aired over 40 years ago. “Did you know that the Jackson 5 did their own voices for that?” the professor asked. Rick Wright, a retired Newhouse professor who worked at SU from 1975 until 2013, calls Thompson “Dr. Television” because of his ability to analyze the production, writing and story lines of any show imaginable. They’ve remained good friends since the early 1990s and still get together often to talk shop. “He’s like a best friend and a little brother rolled into one,” Wright said, recalling how Thompson picked his brain to learn everything he could about “The Howdy Doody Show,” which aired before Thompson was born. “We could talk about mass communications and different shows for days, and never repeat anything.” Thompson, who has been married for 30 years and has a daughter, guards his family’s privacy and prefers not to talk much about his personal life. But he did talk briefly about his own aging, saying he thinks about it every day, often with regret, as both of his parents died in their 50s. He does not think about teaching past the age of retirement right now when he’s so worried about the present time. “The 50s have been really tough for me,” he said. “My knees hurt; I have hair growing out of my ears. I would love to do my 40s over and over again. But I wouldn’t want to do my 20s over again.”

Prefers Salt City With such a successful career, Thompson would have no problem

finding a job elsewhere if he wanted to. He says he remains in Syracuse because he loves the program and the way he’s been treated. He also enjoys the change of seasons, reasonable cost of living, painless commutes to work and the area’s close proximity to other exciting cities like New York, Boston, Toronto, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. “It’s a great place to live, but I wouldn’t want to visit here,” he said with a laugh. “You don’t have to worry about family and relatives wanting to come and stay in your extra bed.” As for a healthy diet and exercise, those are things the professor says he needs to work on, as his career as a television critic has provided little or no time for lifestyle changes. “The excuse I give is, I have to remain on top of American culture,” he says. That means catching up on programs he missed after the workday is over, and tuning in for premiers or new shows or the live debates for the presidential candidates. He insists he must be prepared for any questions a student has if anyone wants to talk about what was on last night. Outside of work, Thompson enjoys traveling. During the past semester break he visited Japan, taking in the sights and culture, enjoying new foods and, of course, learning about their television and trends. Thompson said he has a job where he is always learning more material. His career goal includes sharing his knowledge and giving students the tools to help them land a job in their chosen field. Dan Amernick, a PhD candidate in the Newhouse program, said Thompson has done just that. Amernick wrote for CBS sitcom “The Nanny” from 1996 through 1999 before arriving at SU several years later. He aspires to become a television history professor like Thompson. “As much as I think of myself as an expert, nobody compares to Bob Thompson,” Amernick said. “The guy is very, very intelligent, but also very funny. Then he’ll say something subtle. It’s one of those things that you might not catch right away, and then you remember it later and start laughing. There’s no one I would rather learn from.”

IS YOUR MEDICINE CABINET SAFE? The majority of teens are getting

Is Your Medicine Cabinet Safe? them from the medicine cabinets of family friendsreport abusing 1 inand 5 teen

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The majority of teens are getting them from Talk with your kidsmedicine cabinets of family about the safe use and friends! and risk of Talk with your prescription drugskids about the safe use and medicines. drugs and OTC medicines. riskand of OTC prescription

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golden years By Harold Miller hal@cny55.com

Harry and the Natives

Florida’s favorite watering hole

obe Sound, Fla., is a quiet, friendly and rural village that lays halfway between Jacksonville and Miami on Route 1. The only thing that distinguishes this wide spot in the road is a Ma & Pa restaurant that opened Sunday, Dec. 7 1941— the day our country entered WW II. The restaurant has struggled from the beginning and through the years with many owners. Today it is owned and operated by Harry Anderson and family, and because of their hard work and unique management, Harry and the Natives

is an institution in the Palm Beach area, known far and wide for its great food, and great service — but mostly for its entertainment. Harry is the main entertainment. I have always associated a sense of humor and a quick wit with intelligence, common sense and success. Harry fills the bill to a tee. He and his family took an antiquated restaurant located in the middle of nowhere and have built it into a local icon. The “Natives” refers to the local families and friends that frequent the place every day for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Most restaurateurs in

Harry and the Natives is an institution in the Palm Beach area, known far and wide for its great food, and great service — but mostly for its entertainment. Harry Anderson, the owner, is the main entertainment.

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resort communities like Hobe Sound have to depend on the snowbirds for survival. Consequently, we have seen hundreds of restaurants come-and-go in the 45 years since first coming to Florida. On the other hand, this restaurateur has done very well because the natives come for breakfast or lunch almost every day — along with truckers, merchants and traveling salesmen, all of which support Harry and his family year-round. Harry’s average day starts about 5 a.m. He is literally chief cook and bottle washer as he plans

the day’s menu and sets things up. The soup of the day is always splendid and a couple of times a week I travel the 15 miles from our oceanside apartment in Juno Beach to enjoy the best food anywhere, and to discuss politics with Harry. The standard menu always includes “Fresh Road Kill” (I always thought this was strictly a joke until Harry told me that in the early days on his nearby farm if a wild hog or other edible animal ran across the road and got killed by a car or truck the family would cook it up for their dinner). Another standard on the daily menu is “Divorce Sandwich” — the man gets the bread and the wife gets everything else. Every square inch on every wall is covered with Harry’s philosophical humor. Just a few examples: • Everyone brings happiness here — some by coming, some by leaving. • Prices are subject to change — according to customer attitude. • We cure our hams here — but we’re not sure what of. • Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. • Whoever uses the term “dirt cheap“ hasn’t bought any real estate in Florida recently. • Wife and dog missing — reward for dog. • This is a family restaurant — no orphans. • The beatings will continue until moral improves. • If our service does not live up to your standards — lower your standards. • Humor is like a rubber sword — it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. • All politicians should serve two terms — one in office, and one in jail • It’s nice to be important — but more important to be nice. Recently, as I sat with Harry chatting during lunch, an elderl was wheeled through the front door by his nurse. It was very evident that the years were wearing on him. He had lost his wife many years ago, and loneliness, aches and pains make for a very long day. As soon as he saw Harry his face lit up immediately. They engaged in some animated conversation including the latest jokes of the day. As he was wheeled out after lunch, he yelled over, “yah know Harry, you make my day.” April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

aging By Marilyn L. Pinsky

Moving to Be Near Family More often than not, the best move is to be closer to family

here is a stage in life when it feels your next move should be to move near family. I interviewed five people who made that move and asked what advice they would have for others.

Moving to Denver R e t i re d O n o n d a g a C o u n t y Family Court Judge Minna Buck had deep roots in Central New York. In retirement, she brought her expertise to committees and boards and maintained an active social life with old friends. After much thought to the future, she moved to Denver to be near one of her three children. "Within one year a lot of friends either died or got sick and that was a wakeup call," said judge Buck. "Then I started to see changes in myself — about my waning enthusiasm for being engaged and the dawning realization that it was taking me longer to do everyday things." "Instead of putting it off and just

waiting for a crisis, I decided that while I could, I wanted to make my own plans for the future. Though not exactly a gift, it was good for my children, too. We'd all seen too many other adult children who had to suspend their own lives to go where their parents lived to care for them." "I'm moving to a place in the city of Denver half-way between my daughter's house and downtown. It's an independent living facility that also offers assisted living and palliative care, so I'll never have to go through the task of moving again. I plan to join the League of Women Voters immediately as that was my sorority when I moved to Syracuse. I will get involved in some early childhood projects my daughter is involved in and I will go to hear a lot of music." And in the moving advice category? "Pick out what you know you want to save then go away for two weeks and let someone else take of it," said the judge. "I opened cartons I hadn't opened for 20 years and spent

Retired Onondaga County Family Court Judge Minna Buck had deep roots in Central New York but she recently moved to Denver to be near one of her three children. "I'm moving to a place in the city of Denver half-way between my daughter's house and downtown. Here she is shown the last day before she moved April 16, 2015. 38

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the most time on pictures and books. A practical tip from the mover was to stick content labels on the sides, not the tops of boxes, so you can see them when stacked up at the new place."

Moving to Central New York Ellen and Terry Lautz made the move to Jamesville from Westchester County for their grandchildren and, they said tongue-in-cheek, "global warming." They chose to move early in their retirement years to re-establish themselves in a new community. Terry had just retired as vicepresident and secretary at the Henry Luce Foundation after 24 years; his focus at the foundation, created in 1936 by Henry R. Luce, the cofounder and editor-in-chief of Time Inc., was in the area of Asia and higher education. At a very dramatic time in history, the foundation made grants to universities and think tanks to increase our country's understanding of China and other parts of Asia. "Coming to a city where there is a university was attractive to me as I have an academic background and I'm able to do some teaching as a visiting faculty member," said Terry. He is also the interim director of the East Asia program at the Maxwell School. "I bring in speakers and arrange grants for graduate students to do research in Asia. The SU affiliation is a bonus to being here." Ellen, who speaks some French and some Chinese, worked in crosscultural education. She set up the American Field Service high school exchange program in Hong Kong. “It was exciting for me to return a few years ago to celebrate the program’s 30th anniversary.” B e f o re re t i re m e n t , s h e w a s operations director for the Mountbatten Institute program that places young

Ellen and Terry Lautz moved to Central New York from Westchester County to be closer to their grandchildren, twins Aidan and Sharon. "The most wonderful thing about living where your children live is watching your grandchildren grow.” Ellen said. adults in internships in New York City and London. Ellen and Terry are great examples of how to get involved in meaningful ways in a new community. They moved into a condo community where they became friendly with their neighbors. Terry made friends through the university and also sings with the Syracuse University Oratorio Society. As Ellen said, "these are the prime volunteer years and I’ve pursued two of my major interests by getting involved with Syracuse Stage and as a docent with the Everson Museum. Additionally, I joined a book club and the Social Art Club, which meets twice a month to hear lectures about visual artists.” "The most wonderful thing about living where your children live is watching your grandchildren grow.” She added with a smile, "during the winter I listen to the news to hear about school closings because that's when I'm on duty." Now that he has the time, Terry has written a book — a biography of John Birch. Birch went to China as a Baptist missionary with no interest in politics. He became a U.S. Army captain during World War II and was killed by Chinese communists as soon as the war started. He later became the namesake for the right-wing John Birch Society, but Terry argues that his name was misused. “Who was he really and what was he doing in China? How on earth did this 27-year-

old young man become the symbol for an extremist organization?” We can find the answers to these questions in the book by Terry (available on Amazon.com), titled, “John Birch: A Life,” which was recently published by Oxford University Press.

Moving to Georgia Hugh and Lynnette Bonner recently moved to Rome, Ga., to be nearer family. Lynnette was principal at Mott Road Elementary School in Fayetteville-Manlius and Hugh W. Bonner, PhD., was dean and professor of the College of Health Professions at Upstate Medical University for 20 years. "We started thinking about moving as we got closer to the age of retirement," recalled Hugh. "We always thought we'd move south as that's where we left our children; they've never lived northern lives and their careers (and our grandchildren) were in the South. Our eight grandchildren range in age from 14 to 4. Three are in Georgia, one in Arkansas and four in Texas." "As we started narrowing things down," said Hugh, "we had the experience of my parents getting older and ill and as the aging process went on, we said 'maybe we should be in a town close to somebody as it's so difficult for kids to be caregivers long distance.' Lynette experienced that with her parents — her sister lived four

hours away from them and it was a major strain on her to be the caregiver." "We thought a lot about Texas as we had lived there the most. In making the decision where to move we visited our two kids in the Dallas area and then our daughters in Arkansas and Georgia. Though we liked Texas, Dallas is tough to get around trafficwise. We liked Georgia, saw a house we liked and bought it." "We had some requirements for choosing a community and looked for the same things that were important for us in Syracuse. We wanted a place with good public schools, as that's a draw for a community. Other requirements were a good place to stay healthy and having colleges nearby." "There are three colleges in the area we chose that provide expanded opportunities and activities for us, including theatre, and very good medical services," explained Lynette. In retirement they see themselves doing a lot of the same type of volunteer activities they did before. Hugh was involved in church activities, Leadership Greater Syracuse, both the Onondaga County Library and the Friends of the Central Library boards, and for Lynnette, it was obligations within the school district and church.

Hugh and Lynnette Bonner recently moved to Rome, Ga., to be nearer family. Lynnette was principal at Mott Road Elementary School in Fayetteville-Manlius and Hugh W. Bonner, PhD., was dean and professor of the College of Health Professions at Upstate Medical University for 20 years. April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

life after 55 By Michele Reed michele@cny55.com

French Hate Americans? Myth Busted!

can’t count the number of times our friends back in the States, upon learning we are spending half the year in France, have said, “Why France? Don’t the French hate us Americans?” Our time here, especially in our own village, has proved that cliché to be wrong. Our French neighbors have heartily welcomed “les Americains.” When we returned in January after four months absence, we were surprised at the warmth with which we were greeted. As we pulled up in a big taxi from the train station five miles away (this taxi filled the tiny one-lane street from curb to curb), our neighbor, Gilles, who had had no advance notice we were coming, ran out of his house to help unload our bags. “Welcome back,” he

beamed. Handshakes all around. That evening he returned with a bottle of red wine he had made himself, a treat he’d frequently bestowed on us last summer. Upon entering the house, we discovered we had no water. We knew the village had done extensive work running new water lines. When we left, the work was just beginning and the street was all torn up. Apparently seeing the house empty for four months, they didn’t turn on the water supply from the street. We headed up to the Mairie (the mayor’s office), the center of life in any French village. The secretary and the chief of police were shocked and we learned a new phrase: “pas d’eau” (pah DOE), meaning “no water.” They sprang into quick action. The stone walls in the village are

The little grocery store run by Helene and Marcel is located right in the center of the village. 40

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so high, that there is very spotty cell phone reception. The chief had to stand by the window and then the door as he kept trying to get us help. We understood a bit of what he said: “These are my American villagers, they have no water. Do you have someone who speaks English?” Finally an English-speaking representative came on the line and promised Bill a technician would be out before the end of the work day to turn on the valve under the street. “I’m here till 6, “ the secretary said. “You come back if they don’t come in time and I will help you.” We left feeling well taken care of and happy that we were the chief’s “American villagers.” Martine, our neighbor next door, was dusting her windowsill. We filled her in on our “pas d’eau” dilemma. “If you need anything,“ she said. “Ring my door bell.” At 7:40 p.m. a truck pulled up and the very polite technician alighted. Opening the cover in the street, he turned the valve in the street the wrong way, sending a column of water shooting 30 feet into the air. We learned later that our neighbors were looking out their windows to see the proceedings and it caused great amusement — and many retellings throughout the next couple of days. Our homecoming continued with warm greetings from our village merchants. The boulangerie of Monsieur Viguier is literally two doors down from our house, and we wake up every morning to the smell of fresh baked bread. Heaven. The bell rang as I opened the door to get our daily bread and he bustled out of the back room where he was tending his oven. “What a surprise!” he greeted me with a big smile as he pulled out my usual order of his “tradition” baguette (made

have the coins,” I repeated, pulling a two euro coin out. Now all he needed to give me was a 10 euro bill. I smiled. He looked perturbed and said, “I will mark it down,” pulling out his journal. Finally with much smiling and gesturing on both our parts, I managed to understand that he just didn’t have any bills smaller than a 20 in the till and couldn’t make change, so he was extending me credit. We ordinarily would feel uncomfortable with putting our groceries on anyone’s tab, but we were touched that we had reached the point as accepted villagers, worthy of credit. And I smiled a big smile when I saw what he wrote in his book: “12 euros, Americains.” Over dinner that night, we used the wine Gilles had given us to toast our warm welcome in the village that had opened its arms to “les Americains.” The Mairie or Mayor’s office is the heart of village life. The police chief went out of his way to help us with our water problem. Photos by Bill Reed. by hand with unbleached flour) and “pain complet” or whole wheat for Bill, then came around the counter to chat, half in French, half in English. He always introduces me as “journaliste, New York,” and tells other customers we chose the village by jabbing our finger down on a map of France. Helene and her husband, Marcel, who run the epicerie, or little grocery store, greeted us with similar warmth, and Helene put in an order for my favorite local cookies. Monsieur Ramos, the butcher, burst into a huge smile when Bill and I walked in to get some meat for supper that first day. “You’re back!” he exclaimed, as he came over for handshakes. One gesture by M. Ramos really showed us we had “arrived.” In our village, the majority of customers at the boucherie and epicerie pay once a week. Our neighbors load up their baskets with food, and the shopkeeper rings up the total then writes it in a little leather journal. Once a week, usually on Saturday, they settle up. We’re used to American ways, and being new to town, always pay cash. One day I was at the butcher’s and the bill came to 12 euros and change. I pulled out a 20 — the only bill I had

brought. M. Ramos look perturbed as he rattled around in the cash drawer. “Oh j’ai les monnaie” (“I have the coins”), I quickly said, pulling the appropriate centimes out of my wallet. “No,” he said, adding a lot more I didn’t understand in French, and showing me a 20 out of his drawer. “I

Michele Reed retired after a career spanning four decades in public relations, advertising, journalism and higher education. She now writes travel articles, book reviews, haiku poetry and fiction. Bill Reed retired after four decades in social services with the County of Oswego, and now works at travel photography and photojournalism, along with writing book reviews.

The Boucherie Ramos made us feel like an accepted part of the village with an unexpected gesture. April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

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profile Sharing the Magic of Science

Peter Plumley stands by the Magic Planet, a large globe that has real-time weather information projected onto it.

MOST’s exhibits and outreach manager relies on the past to encourage future scientists By Maria T. Welych

istory is important to Peter Plumley, the exhibits project manager at the Milton J. Rubenstein Museum of Science & Technology (MOST). A geologist, his specialty is researching tectonic history by examining rocks’ paleomagnetic fields. He has used his knowledge to create several absorbing science exhibits over the past 10 years. But Plumley, 65, also cares about the future, and encouraging young people to pursue careers in science, technology, engineering, and math. As outreach coordinator for MOST programs, he influences more than 4,000 students in grades four through 12 every year through the five major programs he runs. That number is growing in 2016, and Plumley couldn’t be happier. This year, the 37th annual Central New York Science & Engineering Fair has expanded to include 11 counties, more than doubling its reach. “That’s the most important

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thing that the MOST does,” he said. “Getting students to do independent research is, from my experience, the most impactful exercise for a student to be engaged in. When you do work on your own and discover, you never forget what you’ve done.” The Schenectady native’s enchantment with science began at age 6, when his father took him to the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. He became enthralled with the magic of Earth’s handiwork when he and his family went rock climbing at the Shawagunks in New Paltz, N.Y., and the Tetons in Wyoming. He studied geology at the SUNY University at Albany and worked as a geologist in Colorado after graduation. He earned his master’s degree in geophysics at Western Washington University and his doctorate at the University of California, Santa Cruz. Plumley returned to Upstate New York in 1985, when he got a job at Syracuse

University’s geology department conducting research about the tectonic evolution of Alaska. “I was taking rock cores where I would unravel the ancient magnetic fields,” Plumley said. “Everyone has a specialty, and my specialty was understanding the paleomagnetic fields that existed 300 to 400 million years ago as recorded in Paleozoic sedimentary rocks.” Currently a research associate professor at Syracuse University, Plumley’s experiences in Alaska and Colorado have given him life-long memories and intriguing stories to tell his students at SU’s College of Engineering and Computer Science, where he discovered he loved sharing the magic of science with others. “I love teaching what I know,” he said. “When you’ve done something, you can tell a story. That is the key in my mind to providing information. If you’re lecturing about something you’ve done, it’s easy to engage students.”

Plumley initiated outreach programs while assistant dean of SU’s engineering school, with the aim of boosting the dwindling number of students applying to the college. When Plumley moved to the MOST in September 2005, the outreach programs moved with him – and expanded. His work was recognized in 2003 by the Technology Alliance of Central New York, when he was named College Educator of the Year, and in 2011, when he was named one of eight Post-Standard Achievement Award winners. As the MOST approaches a historic moment, 35 years since it opened Nov. 15, 1981, as the Discovery Center of Science, Plumley isn’t slowing down. He has begun planning a sixth outreach event, Steamboat Challenge, in conjunction with the Central New York chapter of the American Society of Heating, Refrigerating and Air-Conditioning Engineers and O’Brien & Gere. “Reaching students is the most important work I do,” Plumley said. “There are many different types of science that they can experience through our outreach programs.”

Reaching out to CNY students Here are the five programs that Peter Plumley currently runs for the MOST:

• CNY Bridges Build ’Em & Bust ’Em Competition Begun in 2000, this competition measures the efficiency of bridges built by teams of students in grades four through 12. Students learn teamwork and get an introduction to structural and civil engineering. • CNY Rocket Team Challenge High-powered rockets headline this spring event, where students work in teams and compete to build and launch rockets at SU’s Skytop field. Students learn different types of engineering and the basics of rocket science in this program, which began in 2003. • CNY Regional VEX IQ Robotics Challenge The robotics competition was added to the MOST’s outreach menu in 2011, and switched to the VEX IQ platform in 2014. Plumley said the event has developed

into a fierce competition where student teams from as far away as Rochester build and program robots.

• CNY Science & Engineering Fair The fair began in 1980, before Syracuse has a science museum, when the three community groups who eventually founded the Discovery Center of Science organized a science fair. This year, Plumley added six counties to the fair’s footprint. The fair now includes students from Broome, Cayuga, Chenango, Cortland, Jefferson, Madison, Onondaga, Oswego, St. Lawrence, Tioga, and Tompkins counties. • Honeywell Summer Science Week Honeywell Summer Science Week, which began in 2006, gives eighth-graders the opportunity to study the Onondaga Lake watershed. Students observe wildlife and learn microbiology and water chemistry via hands-on field work, guided by college professors and students and paid for by Honeywell.

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U.S. Dementia Rates Seem to Be Falling, Study Finds

.S. seniors may be developing dementia less often and at later stages of life, a decades-long study

suggests. More than 5,000 people followed for almost 40 years starting in the mid-1970s experienced an average 20 percent reduction in their risk of developing dementia, the researchers said. At the same time, the average age at which the participants fell prey to dementia rose, from about 80 in the late 1970s to age 85 in more recent years, added study author Sudha Seshadri, a physician and professor of neurology at Boston University’s Alzheimer’s Disease Center. Despite these findings, the U. S. still faces a dementia crisis with the aging of the baby boom generation, Seshadri noted. As many as 5.2 million Americans 65 and older are estimated to have Alzheimer’s disease, the most common form of dementia. And these numbers are expected to rise with the aging population, according to the U.S. National Institutes of Health. Seshadri said that even though the average age of dementia shifted upward during the course of the study, there are more people over the age of 85 now than there were people older than 80 decades ago. “People are going to live to be older and be at greater risk of developing dementia,” Seshadri said. “It’s not that the burden of disease is going to decrease, but it may not be exploding quite as rapidly as we feared.” However, the study offered some important clues about ways to prevent or delay dementia, she said. Education and heart health appear to have contributed to the decline in dementia cases, the study found.Only people with at least a high school diploma experienced a significant decline in their risk for dementia, the study findings showed.

April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

druger’s zoo By Marvin Druger

How I Spent My Winter Vacation A visit to Prague, Vienna and Budapest

he title of this article is a bit misleading. Since I am retired, I am always on vacation. Nevertheless, my family decided that staying in Syracuse during the holiday season was gloomy and depressing. So, we decided to travel to Prague, Vienna and Budapest during the holidays. As usual, I was reluctant about going on the trip. This is standard behavior for me. I emphatically said, “No, I’m not going!” My grandchildren said that the only reason they would go on the trip was if I went also. So, I relented and looked for my passport. It was nowhere in sight. This was the first time I would travel abroad without my wife, Pat, who died in 2014. I was sure that she had put my passport in a safe place. But where? A week before the scheduled trip, after

an exhaustive, frustrating search, I found the passport. The passport had expired. I interpreted the expiration as a sign that I should definitely not go on the trip. However, I drove to the passport office in Buffalo and I received a new passport in the mail in two days, just before the trip. We drove to Kennedy airport to embark for Frankfort and then on to Prague. We got off to a late start, but somehow maneuvered through the heavy traffic at the George Washington Bridge to get to the airport on time. We parked in a long-term parking area and took a train to the terminal to face the inevitable security check. I couldn’t help but notice guards with camouflaged clothing, bulletproof vests and machine guns at the airport. Times have indeed changed. My economy class seat was

A grim reminder of past atrocities. The terror force in Hungary forced people to disrobe, remove their shoes and stand at the edge of the Danube River. They were then shot and the bodies fell into the Danube. A long line of metal casts of the shoes of the victims lined up along the edge of the river. 46

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barely as wide as my body, with little foot room, and we were squeezed three abreast. An individual TV with an assortment of modern movies was available. I watched “Bridge of Spies” and a James Bond movie, ate a delicious salmon meal and drank water frequently. Before I knew it, the plane landed in Frankfort. Like Kennedy Airport, the Frankfort Airport was enormous and it seemed that we had to walk several miles to get to the gate for our one-hour flight to Prague. In Prague, we took a bus and the metro to our hotel, minus my grandson’s luggage that had strangely disappeared. My suitcase was difficult to deal with, since the handle would not go down once it was up. My first impression of Prague was that there seemed to be no security anywhere. There were many tourists. Many people smoked. Perhaps they had never heard of ISIS, or that smoking cigarettes can cause lung cancer? There were wonderful breads and pastries. There was also a lot of drinking of alcoholic beverages. A positive feature was that transportation on the metro or tram was easy. It seemed it was on the honor system. No turnstiles. You simply buy a ticket and then register it in a machine on the tram after you have boarded. I guess someone occasionally checks tickets, but I didn’t see anyone. Also, people over 70 can ride the tram, bus or metro for free. I was disappointed that nobody ever questioned me about my age when I traveled on a tram or train. I discovered that older people are respected and treated well in Prague. Prague is beautiful and clean. All the streets have cobblestones and the historical architecture is fantastic. My grandson had been to Prague before, and he was an excellent guide to the sights of the city. Puppets seemed to be a popular souvenir in shops. There

are open markets and merchants serve hot food made in large pots. They apportion the amount of food you want in a bowl, weigh it, and charge accordingly. Then, you eat the food standing up at a small, outdoor table. So, you can get exactly the amount of food that you want and there are no leftovers to eat for the rest of the week. My son and I took a long walk to George Bridge and Old Town. We got lost and had to take a taxi back to the hotel. There was no meter in the taxi, but there was a flat fee that I think was made up by the driver in accordance with our nationality and apparent financial status. The time change was a difficult adjustment for all of us. The time was six hours ahead of Eastern Standard time in the U.S. I was in a perpetual fog, and I never could figure out what time it really was. I didn’t know when I should sleep or eat. Money exchange was fairly simple, although I’m sure that I spent a lot more than I know. In Budapest, I enjoyed spending thousands of forints (Ft) for an item in a shop. It made me feel rich. We took a train from Prague to Vienna. This city is beautiful and has impressive architecture and many cultural activities. There was an opera performed every night at the magnificent opera house. The food was excellent, and included a meal of veal schnitzel and potato salad with an oil and vinegar base and scrumptious desserts. Pastries, breads and meat were staples in Vienna, but the kielbasa looked better than it tasted. Hotel accommodations in Vienna were interesting and memorable. My single room had a bed that resembled a cot. It was about three feet wide, 76 inches long and the mattress was six inches thick. There was a comforter that measured 46 inches x 64 inches, covered with loose sheeting. There was no way to cover all of my body with the comforter and my feet protruded uncomfortably at the end of the bed. The bathtub/shower had a contoured seat, a flexible shower head and a slippery bottom. A glass window folded against the sink and protected only half of the shower. Getting in and out of the tub involved standing on one leg and putting the other over the side of the tub. The height was two feet from the ground. Getting in and out of the tub was a hazardous task. It was a challenge to take a shower, but

A McDonald’s down the road from Mauthausen concentration camp near Vienna. The museum features a gas chamber, ovens for cremations and many video tales from former prisoners. I somehow managed to do it without killing myself. A memorable highlight was a visit to the Mauthausen concentration camp, a two-hour drive from Vienna. The museum featured a gas chamber, ovens for cremations and many video tales from former prisoners. I stood in the gas chamber room with its white walls and pipes along one side where poison gas was released. As I stood there, I thought that every human being should see this place. It is a somber reminder of how inhumane human beings can be. Mauthausen made a permanent impression on me. The quaint town of Mauthausen was a short distance from the concentration camp. About a half-mile down the road from the camp was a McDonald’s restaurant. Unbelievable. The all-inclusive buffet breakfasts at the hotels in all three cities we visited were remarkable. Delicious pastries, breads, cold and hot foods, etc., were available. Each hotel breakfast was a fantastic feast that would be filling for the rest of the day. We took a train from Vienna to Budapest and took the metro to an ultra-modern hotel. The elevator and the electricity in the room required use of a key card. I couldn’t figure it out and was fearful of spending the night in the elevator. My granddaughter came to my rescue and told me how to work things. As in the other cities, we walked a lot in Budapest. The hilly Buda part is separated from the Pest city part by the Danube River. There were lots of homeless people and the city seemed crowded and dirty. The weather was extremely frigid and I was glad that

I brought my heavy coat along, even though the coat weighed me down while walking. One striking memorial stays in my mind. The terror force in Hungary forced people to disrobe, remove their shoes and stand at the edge of the Danube. They were then shot in the back of the head and the bodies fell into the Danube. There was a long line of metal casts of the shoes of the victims lined up along the edge of the river. A grim reminder of past atrocities. My family was very caring for me. The all watched over me as though I was 100 years old, carrying my bags and warning me about potential hazards on the street. My granddaughter sensed my feeling of loneliness without Pat and she hooked onto my arm and became my escort throughout the trip. Age differences were apparent as my family dashed ahead at top speed, while I lagged a bit behind. By the end of the trip, I had adjusted to this breakneck pace, and I was able to keep up. I eat slowly and everyone else gulps down their food and then they wait impatiently for me to finish my meal. My solution was to eat only half the meal and then I could keep pace with them. On one occasion, I started to walk from a restaurant to the hotel by myself. My daughter sent my grandson after me to escort me. They were justifiably afraid that I would get lost. The trip back to Syracuse included the plane flight to Kennedy, and the drive from Kennedy Airport to Syracuse. It was a long trip home, but adventures in Prague, Vienna and Budapest will stay with each of us forever. April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

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visits The Olympic Park built for the XXI Olympics may not have a lot green space but it offers assorted activities.

Ways to Explore Montreal

Getting a little taste of France — just a few hours away By Sandra Scott

n 1535 Jacques Cartier, the French explorer searching for a route to Asia, sailed into the St. Lawrence River but it wasn’t until 1609 that Samuel de Champlain established a trading post in what is now called Old Montreal making him the founder of New France. From 1844 to 1849 Montreal was the capital of the United Province of Canada. Today the metropolis is Canada’s second largest city and one of the places in North America to get a taste of French culture without visiting the country of France.

Getting acquainted: One of

the best and quickest ways to get to know Montreal is on a hop-on hop-off tour. Typically the tour hits all the highlights along with an informative narration. Consider taking it around for one complete loop and then decide which venues you would most like to visit. There is never enough time to do everything. Part of the tour will go through Old Montreal making a couple of stops. It is the oldest part of the city with some

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buildings dating back to the 1600s.

The history: Along the port

area visit Museum Pointea-Calliere where the lower level has the ruins from the different eras of Montreal. It is a great introduction to the growth of the area. The Centre d’historie de Montreal features the city’s diverse heritage. In 1775 the Continental Army occupied Montreal for seven months. Visit the 18th century Chateau Ramezay to learn about Benjamin Franklin’s unsuccessful attempt to persuade the Canadians to aid in the American Revolution.

Old Montreal: Picturesque

Old Montreal is the place to wander about to soak up the French influence. The Montreal Town Hall is modeled after the Tours Town Hall south of Paris. Visit the Hall of Honor, it’s free. Saint-Paul Street and other cobblestone streets exude an Old World ambiance. Stop by the Old Sulpician Seminary, the oldest standing building, with

French Renaissance-style gardens. Discover your own favorite spots, do a little shopping and dining.

Architecture: Stop. Look

up to see some fascinating architecture — new and old, some with a combination of French and English influences. A must-visit is the Gothic Revival Norte Dame Basilica with its grand interior. Limestone is the most common building material but there are rust-colored sandstone buildings built out of Scottish sandstone that was used as ballast. Half-timbered homes are reminiscent of England and there are Victorian brownstones. If the art-deco Aldred Building on the Place d’Armes looks familiar there is a reason. It is a smaller and earlier version of NYC’s Empire State Building. It is hard to miss the staggered-box look of Habitat 67, a unique combination of suburban homes and urban spaces. Visit the museum at the Canadian Centre for Architecture.

the years. Today it houses shops where nearly all the items are Canadian-made, along with art shops, restaurants, and a textile/ fashion museum. Don’t miss the Atwater Market located near the Lachine Canal with a wide range of merchants. It has been serving customers since 1933. It is a good place to buy cheese or other locally produced items to take home.

9 Visit the 18th century Chateau Ramezay to learn about Benjamin Franklin’s unsuccessful attempt to persuade the Canadians to aid in the American Revolution.

Arts: Visitors can experience

the whole gamut of the arts: music, theater, museums and galleries. The Museum of Fine Arts is free and features many artistic disciplines including fine arts, music and film. The Orchestre Symphonique de Montreal with its excellent acoustics is a venue for a variety of presentations. It has a new home in the Palace of Arts. The Montreal Museum of Fine Arts with over 41,000 pieces in its collection is one of the largest in Canada and still growing. There are a slew of galleries including two Inuit Art Galleries.

Parks and Gardens: The city

has a variety of parks scattered throughout the area, including the large Mount Royal Park designed by the famed Frederick Olmstead, which offers a variety of outdoor activities plus it has excellent views overlooking the city. The Olympic Park built for the XXI Olympics may not have a lot green space but it offers assorted activities. Do not miss the botanical gardens with 10 greenhouses representing different bio zones and more than 20 thematic gardens. Their Chinese garden is magical before Christmas. Behind Chateau Ramezay there is a small but attractive garden.

Sports: When it comes to sports Montreal has it all, the best known is the Montreal Canadiens of the National Hockey League. There are also a professional soccer and football

teams. Hear the roar during the annual Formula One Canadian Grand Prix and the Grand Am Sports Car Series. Other sporting events feature roller derby, boxing, tennis, soccer, rugby and Gaelic sports. Visitors can also find bikes to rent for touring the city or biking on the trail along the LaChine Canal National Historic Site. There are golf courses, skating rinks, swimming pools, and hiking trails.

Shopping: The weather in

Montreal is never a deterrent to shopping because much of the city is connected underground offering a plethora of stores. The silver dome of the Marche Bonsecours is hard to miss. It has served many purposes over

Food: Montreal offers

everything from the iconic Beaver Tails in the morning to fine dining in the evening at upscale restaurants like Chez L'epicier. Try Tourtiere, a favorite that is a must at holiday times and for special occasions. Chinese and Italian enclaves are popular dining areas for both locals and visitors. There are restaurants that feature Portuguese, Lebanese and Eastern European cuisines.

Unique: The religious

faithful will want to climb the 283 steps of the Saint Joseph Oratory. John Lennon fans should consider staying in Room 1742 at the Fairmont’s Queen Elizabeth where Lennon wrote “Give Peace a Chance” during his “Bed-In.” Learn about the amazing world of insects at the Insectarium, one of the largest in North America, with 250,000 specimens. Try your luck at the Montreal Casino, the largest casino in Canada.

The Museum of Fine Arts is free and features many artistic disciplines including fine arts, music and film. April / May 2016 - 55 PLUS

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By Matthew Liptak

Cynthia Cary Woods, 50 New director talks about what OASIS has to offer Q: Do you mind explaining what OASIS is? A: OASIS is a national nonprofit organization that is sponsored locally by Upstate Medical University. OASIS promotes successful aging through lifelong learning, health programming and volunteer engagement. The OASIS vision is to see that adults who are beyond the age of 50 have opportunities to enrich their lives. Q: Can you tell us about some of the programs you have? A : Beginning the summer trimester, which starts in mid May, we will offer some new and fun courses. They include “Creating Your Own Mandala,” “Developing Your Intuition,” “Using Oil Paints to Create a Mountain Bluebird,” “Creatively Coping with Stress,” “Learning How to Take Better Photos” and others. Some of our most popular classes are “State of the Union” and “Hatha Yoga.” Q: How did you come to be the new executive director of OASIS? A: As the director of the Upstate HealthLink program, I shared space with the folks in the OASIS program, so I worked closely with the staff and learned a great deal about the program, so it was a natural fit when the former Executive Director Lauren Feiglin recently retired. Q: What is your background? A: I have 30 years of experience in many roles here at Upstate. I was a staff respiratory therapist and a supervisor in the respiratory department. In 2004, I became the smoking cessation coordinator, and in 2008 I became the director of the Upstate HealthLink program, our community health education program. As a part of both the HealthLink program and the cessation program, I made and 50

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continue to make many community connections which serve the Upstate mission of “improving the health of the community we serve” just as OASIS does. Q: Are you excited by the new position? A: Yes! I am very excited about the opportunity. Many people have welcomed me to the new role. I believe that my years of experience married with the already thriving OASIS program, will really help to improve the health of our mature adults. I love matching programs to the areas that need them. I was fortunate enough in my life to know my grandparents and great-grandparents and have realized the value that they added to my life and how much I enjoyed spending time with them. In a way, OASIS is an extension of that relationship. Q: Are you planning any new initiatives? A: I have only been in the position a few days, but I am excited about several newer programs from the national OASIS headquarters that may fit the needs of our local Syracuse community. More to follow on those. Q. What do you consider your biggest job as executive director? A. I think my biggest job as executive director is to increase awareness of our Upstate OASIS program. I think there are many more people who would take advantage of our exceptional programs if they only knew about OASIS. Q: What is your biggest challenge? A: As with any new role, my biggest challenge will be to learn how to leverage the resources we have here in Syracuse to meet both the goals of national OASIS as well as remain aligned with the mission of Upstate

Cynthia Cary Woods, 50, of Fulton is now the director of OASIS, a nonprofit based in E. Syracuse. The organization offers a wide variety of lifelong learning, health programming to anyone over the age 50. Medical University. Q: What do you like about the Syracuse community? A: I love the size of Syracuse. The city has so much to offer without having to travel too far. You can enjoy the arts, go to the theater, travel to one of the largest malls in the US, and get great medical care all within a 20 minute drive. It’s a small enough city that I have been able to make many great community connections. Q: Where would you like to see OASIS in five years? A: I would like to see OASIS become a well-known program in the households of anyone over 50. Just like folks receive their AARP membership cards when they reach age 50, I would like them to know they can take advantage of the classes and programs we offer here. If they wanted to learn a new language before they travel to a new destination, they could come to OASIS and do just that! If they wanted to paint in retirement, they could learn how to express themselves in art. If they are interested in current affairs, they could come to discuss the issues. Oasis is such a fabulous way for people to stay engaged and active which will ultimately help people age well and enjoy the “golden years”!

Imagine the difference you could make,if you were an OASIS Tutor!

6333 State Route 298 East Syracuse, NY 13057 315-464-6555 www.oasisnet.org/syracuse