55 Plus CNY, #108: December 2023 - January 2024

RADIO TALK SHOW HOST JIM REITH ON RETIREMENT LIFE

Issue 108 December 2023– January 2024 For Active Adults in Central New York

cny55.com

THE ROBIN’S NEST HATCHES QUILTS — AND MEMORIES

GIVING BACK

P. 38

P. 30

Coach Boeheim and his wife Juli talk about the work of their Jim and Juli Boeheim Foundation, which in nearly 25 years has given $8.5 million in funding to 300 nonprofit organizations.

SKANEATELES CELEBRATES 30 YEARS OF A DICKENS CHRISTMAS P. 48

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Contents

www.cny55.com

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

XX 30

XX 48

38 XX

Features

Columns

9 Benefits

37 Your Health

• Four Social Security shakeups proposed by President Biden

• Over 50 already? Seven things you should do

14 First Person

38 Second Act

• ‘I was in Jerusalem when Hamas attacked Israel’

• The Robin’s Nest in Fulton turns 10

19 Expenses • Eight purchases you should never make during retirement

21 Couples • Relationships are hard: What I’ve learned

26 Retirement • Radio talk show host Jim Reith in retirement: No TV before 4 p.m.

30 Cover • Jim and Juli Boeheim Foundation: Enriching the lives of CNY youth, families

34 Diversity • SAGE: Improving the lives of older LGBTQ people

42 Gathering • Making the holiday gathering easier • Gifts to give

46 Holidays • Survive the season with your finances intact

47 New Year • Resolutions that will stick

48 Dickens • Skaneateles celebrates 30 years of A Dickens Christmas

On the Cover Jim and Juli Boeheim.

Photo courtesy of Jim and Juli Boeheim Foundation

52 Finances • How to help your grandchildren • Complete your final documents

56 Hobbies • Meet local radio ham operators

6

Savvy Senior 8 Gardening 10 Dining Out 12 Aging 24 Estate Planning 29 Life After 55 61 Druger’s Zoo 64 Last Page 66

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

Story ideas? Email editor@cny55. com or call 315-342-1182.

To subscribe to the magazine, look for the coupon on page 45

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DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

7

savvy senior

By Jim Miller

How a Health Savings Account Can Boost Your Retirement Savings

A

health savings account, or HSA, is a fantastic financial tool that can help you build up a tax-free stash of money for medical expenses now and after you retire. But to qualify, you must be enrolled in a high-deductible health insurance plan. Here’s an overview of how they work and how you can open one.

• HSA Rules —HSAs have become very popular over the past few years as the cost of health care continues to skyrocket, and because more and more Americans have high-deductible health plans.

The great benefit of a HSA is the triple tax advantage that it offers: Your HSA contributions can be deducted pretax from your paycheck, lowering your taxable income; the money in the account grows tax-free; and if you use the money for eligible medical expenses, withdrawals are tax-free.

And if you change jobs, the HSA moves with you.

To qualify, you must have a health insurance policy with a deductible of at least $1,500 for an individual or $3,000 for a family in 2023. In 2024, the deductible rises to $1,600 for individual or $3,200 for a family.

This year, you can contribute up to $3,850 if you have single health insurance coverage, or up to $7,750 for family coverage. In 2024 you can contribute significantly more — up to $4,150 for single coverage or up to $8,300 for family coverage. And people age 55 and older can put away an extra $1,000 each year. But you cannot make contributions after you sign up for Medicare.

The money can be used for outof-pocket medical expenses, including deductibles, co-payments, Medicare premiums, prescription drugs, vision and dental care and other expenses 8

(see IRS.gov/pub/irs-pdf/p502.pdf, page 5, for a complete list) either now or when you retire for yourself and your spouse as well as your tax dependents.

Unlike a flexible spending account, an HSA doesn’t require you to use the money by the end of the year. Rather, HSA funds roll over year to year and continue to grow tax-free in your HSA account for later use.

In fact, you’ll get a bigger tax benefit if you use other cash for current medical expenses and keep the HSA money growing for the long term.

Be sure to hold on to your receipts for medical expenses after you open your HSA, even if you pay those bills with cash, so you can claim the expenses later. There’s no time limit for withdrawing the money tax-free for eligible medical expenses you incurred any time after you opened the account.

But be aware that if you do use your HSA funds for non-medical expenses, you’ll be required to pay taxes on the withdrawal, plus a 20 percent penalty. The penalty, however, is waived for those 65 and older, but you’ll still pay ordinary income tax on withdraws not used for eligible expenses.

• How to Open a HAS —You should first check with your employer to see if they offer a HSA, and if they will contribute to it. If not, you can open an HSA through many banks, brokerage firms and other financial institutions, as long as you have a qualified highdeductible health insurance policy.

If you plan to keep the money growing for the future, look for an HSA administrator that offers a portfolio of mutual funds for long-term investing and has low fees. Some of the top-rated HSA providers in 2023 are Lively, HealthEquity, OptumBank, Fidelity, HSA Bank and Bank of America.

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

cny55.com Editor and Publisher Wagner Dotto Associate Editor Steve Yablonski Writers & Contributors Deborah J. Sergeant Mary Beth Roach, Carol Radin David Figura, Kimberly Blaker Margaret McCormick Barbara Pierce, Tim Bennett, Jan Lane, Norah Machia, Stefan Yablonski Columnists Marilyn Pinsky, Jim Sollecito Marvin Druger, Michelle Reed, Jim Miller, Christopher Malone Advertising Amy Gagliano Pamela Roe Tom Bachman Office Manager Allison Lockwood Layout & Design Angel Campos-Toro Cover Photo Provided by the Jim and Juli Boeheim Foundation 55 Plus: A Magazine for Active Adults in Central New York is published six times a year by Local News, Inc. at 185 E. Seneca St. P.O. Box 276, Oswego, NY 13126.

Subscription: $21 a year; $35 for two years © 2023 by 55 Plus: A Magazine for Active Adults in Central New York.

No material may be reproduced in whole or in part from this publication without the express written permission of the publisher.

How to Reach Us P.O. Box 276 Oswego, NY 13126

Phone: 315-342-1182 Fax: 315-342-7776 Email: editor@cny55.com Editor@cnyhealth.com

benefits 4 SOCIAL SECURITY SHAKEUPS PROPOSED BY PRESIDENT BIDEN

Among the proposals is to increase the monthly minimum benefit for lifetime lower-wage workers from $1,033.50 to $1,518.75

By Dawn Allcot

A

s the Social Security Old Age and Survivors Insurance Trust (OASI) faces depletion by 2033, President Joe Biden has suggested to bolster funds in the trust and help fill the $22.4 trillion funding shortage shown in the 2023 Trustees Report.

If the federal government can’t fix the shortage, it could result in benefit cuts of up to 23% for retirees beginning in 2033.

While some of Biden’s proposed changes will affect mostly high earners and company executives — those who have retirement savings plans exponentially higher than the average American — some will affect middleand lower-income wage earners, especially those who may rely on Social Security benefits in the future.

Here’s what he is proposing: 1 – Implement Payroll Tax for Income Over $400,000 Currently, any earned income below $160,200 is subject to a 12.4% payroll tax. Earnings exceeding that amount are not subject to OASI taxes.

Biden plans to tax earned income above $400,000, leaving wages from

$160,200 up to $400,000 untaxed.

2 – Change the Way COLA Increases Are Calculated Each year, Social Security benefits are assessed and adjusted for inflation.

Currently, the administration uses the consumer price index for urban wage earners and clerical workers (CPI-W) to calculate this cost-of-living adjustment (COLA).

But this number doesn’t necessarily reflect the lifestyle and expenses of retired people. Shifting COLA calculations to figures tied to the consumer price index for the elderly won’t solve the problem of Social Security running out of money. But it could put more money into the pockets of retired Americans who need it most.

3 – Increase the Primary Insurance Amount The primary insurance amount (PIA) is a figure indicating how much money you’ll receive in Social Security benefits, depending on the age you begin claiming benefits and your average indexed monthly earnings (AIME). Increasing the PIA for Americans aged 78 to 82 would help

those who experience rising expenses, such as healthcare, later in life.

4 – Increase the Special Minimum Benefit for Lifetime Lower-Wage Workers Low-wage earners receive a special minimum benefit regardless of how much they made while they worked.

In 2023, a lifetime low-earning worker would receive just $12,402 in Social Security benefits annually, or $1,033.50 per month. Biden intends to increase the minimum benefit to 125% of the federal poverty level for an individual.

As an example, in 2023, someone receiving the special minimum benefit would receive $1,518.75 per month with the boost.

Any Social Security overhaul plan would require bipartisan support in Washington and, so far, Democrats and Republicans haven’t been able to see eye to eye on ways to simultaneously bolster Social Security coffers and increase benefits for those who need them most.

Story previously published in GObaking rates.com. Reprinted with permission.

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

9

gardening

By Jim Sollecito

Sometimes Catch and Release

Jim Sollecito: “Knowing when to release is a skill refined with age.”

I

t was a rough warm season this year and those endless smoky skies didn’t help.

For health reasons we were advised to stay indoors. But I like to be outdoors, where I feel like I’m wearing the weather. Not so much this past summer, I’m glad that has moved downriver and out of view.

Crisp fall mornings are my 10

favorite, when it’s just chilly enough to throw on a jacket.

I love smelling nature while listening to the sounds of moving water. It quiets my mind and reminds me that as in life, once something passes, it cannot return. We are left with memories and perhaps a wistful smile slips onto our visage. All rivers run into the sea, taking everything

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

with them for the ride. Yet the seas are not full; that amazes me.

Where you spend time in the world forms a pretty good self-portrait, I think. I am really not a city or shopping mall kind of guy. My wife recently had to drag me to buy a tuxedo for our daughter’s wedding.

Although I will spend plenty of time deliberating over high quality Orvis or Cabela’s clothing for the time I spend in nature. Waterproof pro-grade armor for work and play.

Working a river, seeking a salmon willing to play is a lot like looking for a lost object. Zig zag. Wander. Meander.

Backtrack. Investigate seams in the water. Scour. And, of course, pause and observe. Think pace, not race.

Seek microhabitats. Look through the water. Think like a fish. It is a form of hide and seek.

I live for many things, among them fly fishing. On a journey of nearly 70 seasons, along the way I have garnered five International Game Fish Association World Records. Not that I was pursuing them, it just worked out that way. If you want a lot of good fishing days, then you have to fish a lot of days. Some end quietly with a big bagel.

No matter what, I try to get as far from the fishing herd as I can. Fishing etiquette and ethics are derived from experience and education. Each time out I learn new lessons, while reapplying old ones. Reviewing what is worth repeating is time well spent.

Every season has highlights, things we can hold onto. Growing up, I wanted everything to be a keeper.

Sometimes I held on too tightly, and my prize escaped my grasp. As I aged, I realized the value in not holding on, but in letting go. That has not been easy for me, but one advantage of age is experience.

Eventually, everything heads downstream. And guess what… we are downstream!

Wonder and joy are headed our way. As we look toward 2024, let’s let go of what we did not enjoy, and cast far and wide for good things yet to come.

Jim Sollecito is the first lifetime senior certified landscape professional in New York State. He operates Sollecito Landscaping Nursery in Syracuse. Contact him at 315-468-1142 or jim@sollecito.com.

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11

Chicken vindaloo:The rich red sauce and hearty pieces of chicken breast tops the white rice to complete the entree.

Dining Out RESTAURANT GUIDE

By Christopher Malone

DOSA GRILL: SPICE AND EVERYTHING NICE

Syracuse Indian restaurant keeps kicking cuisine up a notch

T

he first time I ever enjoyed Indian food, was when I wanted it regularly in my life.

Yes, I love spicy food — the spicier, the better.

But the beauty of Indian cuisine is having intensity with incomparable flavor.

And, no — rest assured the food you order is tailored to your preferred spiciness.

For more than a decade at this point, Dosa Grill in DeWitt has been feeding countless neighbors in 12

Central New York and visitors coming into town for whatever reason. The restaurant keeps bringing people back and converting new diners into loyalists. It’s a bold statement but don’t knock it until you try it.

It’s been a couple years since enjoying Dosa Grill; the last time we ordered it, our meal was takeaway during the height of the pandemic.

It was great but enjoying a meal inhouse and eating it when it comes out is simply much better.

The atmosphere is ideal, too.

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

There are no televisions distracting attentions or loud music drowning out conversation. It’s a break from all the attention draining aspects to life.

Simply walking in and getting a waft of the aromas is similar to walking inside to a homecooked meal; you can smell the deliciousness before walking through the door.

There are the benefits to enjoying the dining experience at Dosa Grill, especially the beginning and the end with complementary dishes.

First, what I like to whimsically

The lamb biryani: a rice dish served with pieces of tender pieces of lamb.

refer to as the three sisters, enjoying the presentation of chutneys in the middle of the table. There’s tamarin, which is brown, smooth and tangy; the mint cilantro, which is obviously green, is a little spicier; and the chilli garlic is vibrant red and offers the biggest kick.

Whether you enjoy each solo or if you mix-and-match, they’re equally as good with the papadam, crispy Indian dough — a chip.

Lacha paratha and aloo parantha (both $3.95 each), layered flatbread, serves as the perfect utensil for the food laid out on the table. The former is a nice buttery bread where the aloo is stuffed with seasoned potatoes.

The food is served family style, with each item coming out on a separate plate or bowl of its own. We enjoyed the paneer makhani ($14.95), chicken vindaloo ($15.95) and the lamb biryani ($15.95). A dish of rice and peas is also served to go with the entrees.

The lamb biryani is, of course, a rice dish served with seasoned pieces of tender pieces of lamb. The nice-andspicy dish is not overwhelming. As previously said, Indian cuisine doesn’t kill the palate with spice and certainly doesn’t short on the flavor.

Papadam, crispy Indian dough.

We ordered the vindaloo medium, which still boasts a noticeable kick.

The rich red sauce and hearty pieces of chicken breast tops the white rice to complete the entree.

For those unfamiliar, the paneer is an Indian cottage cheese. Somewhat similar in consistency to tofu — it’s not exactly the same — it takes on the flavor its cooked with or wading in.

The curry sauce just makes the cubed cottage cheese jump to a new level.

The culmination is dessert, whether you choose an actual dessert or simply enjoy the complimentary rice pudding. The sweet and creamy pudding is a great way to end the meal.

The dairy subdues the spices and it’s not heavy — a single serving to leave you satisfied. But, let’s face it, you’re going to want more.

Before tip, the bill came to just more than $60 for a party of three.

Aside from the delicious food, the staff is friendly and incredible — especially with kids. From when our little peanut was getting hangry to when she was satisfied, she got all the attention with waves, smiles and interaction from a crew constantly checking to make sure the meal is

satisfactory.

Dosa adds more culture to the Syracuse area. It not only gives people a reason to get out and enjoy a meal but it’s an escape from what would be ordering takeaway and sitting in front of the television. Doing that isn’t terrible, but we need to turn off our minds and tune into those and what’s around us.

Dosa Grill 4467 E. Genesee St. Syracuse, NY 13214 (315)-445-5555 syracusedosagrill.com facebook.com/DosaGrill-100055486995788/ HOURS: Monday: 11:30 a.m. - 3 p.m., 5 - 10 p.m.

Tuesday - Saturday: 11:30 a.m.

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DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

13

first person

Western Wall, Jerusalem, Sept. 28.

I WAS IN JERUSALEM WHEN HAMAS ATTACKED ISRAEL

The stark reality was, we could be trapped in the biggest Israeli conflict in 50 years

By Tim Bennett

I

awoke on Saturday, Oct. 7, in Maison Abraham, a French Catholic guesthouse in Jerusalem, to sirens blaring.

Internet research told me Hamas had been firing thousands of missiles into Israel since 6:30 a.m. and had infiltrated the southern border killing hundreds of innocent people.

Some missiles were even reaching Tel Aviv where we were scheduled to take a 5:35 a.m. flight on Sunday. One article I read quoted a Hamas leader calling for all Muslims in Israel to join the fight.

This last bit of news was disconcerting since our lodging was located in an Arab neighborhood and we’d have to drive through it to get out of the city. When my wife, Veronique, initially told me our small group of five would be in a guesthouse in a Muslim neighborhood, I voiced my concerns — especially since we had American passports. At the time, the leading couple from France, Patrick and Joelle, waved off my anxieties as American paranoid thinking.

“It is perfectly safe,” they assured me. “We’ve stayed there before.”

Now, the stark reality was —we could be trapped in the biggest Israeli conflict in 50 years.

When we saw Patrick, he told us the director of the Maison Abraham advised him to get to the airport as early as possible since the roads would likely close later in the day. Patrick looked tense and insisted that we all leave immediately. He’d confidently taken us to meet a wide variety of French people with amazing, but challenging, ministries in the south, central and northern areas of Israel, as well as to visit some historic sites. It was the first time I’d seen him rattled.

I was not convinced, however, that his plan was our best option.

What if some young radical Muslim zealots heard the call to arms and knew there were Americans in the guesthouse? It would be easy to block our narrow road and capture us.

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

15

Tim Bennett and his wife Veronique of Syracuse (far right) during a visit to Jerusalem between Sept. 27 and Oct. 8. Photo taken from the roof of Maison Abraham, a French Catholic guesthouse, where they were staying with friends.

On the other hand, would we really be safe in our gated compound?

Yes, there was a large metal gate, but I had not seen any security people on the grounds. Would it really be so difficult to get in somewhere if a raging mob of terrorists surrounded the property?

The old battle of faith versus fear came surging to the forefront, not unlike when COVID-19 hit the United States, but more up close and personal.

“Let’s pray,” I said. “I don’t want to run out of fear or just because some guy tells us to go. I only want to go if God is directing us.”

Everyone agreed and we bowed our heads and asked God if we should heed the director’s warning, or stay put. After several moments of silence listening to God, we all sensed He was telling us to go, including Simone, the 19-year-old young woman from Gabon, Africa who had come with us.

Our leader ’s wife, Joelle, said, “When I opened my eyes I was looking directly at that ceramic plaque on the wall.” She pointed to the plaque positioned shoulder height to the right of one of the guest rooms. It had etched on it an open door indicating a welcome to all who lodged there. To 16

her, it was confirmation that our path was clear, go to the airport.

Before leaving the property, Veronique read Psalm 91 about God’s protection. We loaded the car, got in and approached the gate. It slowly creaked open and we descended the narrow, cluttered hill, lined with parked cars, some operational, some not, on both sides. It was probably about 10:30 a.m.

Surprisingly, when we passed through the gate, there were many people in cars ahead of us and they weren’t moving. I tried not to imagine what was causing the blockage. I thought of the Arab children who’d said something menacingly to us as we walked through their neighborhood just a few days earlier. Finally, after several agonizing minutes, we began to move slowly. We passed Arabic shops and came to the round point.

With relief we saw a big bus causing the slowdown and two Jewish police officers with their guns (lowered).

No big protest crowd. No angry mob chanting, “Death to Israel and America!”

With mostly no cars on the highway we made it to the Tel Aviv

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

airport around noon. We checked the departure flights on the board and noticed many flights had been cancelled. Veronique went to the Israeli airline counter and asked a tall, husky, airline employee if our flight was still on. He looked at her and said, “War or no war. We fly.”

When my daughter, Alicia, in the States heard what the man had said she thought it was an irresponsible and cavalier way to respond when there were so many passengers’ lives at stake. She and my oldest son, Samuel, thought we might be safer to hide out at the nearest U.S. embassy. To us, however, it was music to our ears.

One thing we did not want to do is get stuck in a war-torn country with an uncertain future.

Hours later, we heard an explosion coming from outside the airport, possibly a Hamas missile being intercepted by Israel’s mostly effective “iron dome” defense system.

People were panicking and running to a corner of the lower floor where we were located. A voice on the airport public address system was telling us to go to the shelters. I felt panic trying to get a hold of me and

resisted the emotion, reminding myself of God’s promises. Everyone in our group grabbed their things and we walked to the corner where hundreds were waiting to be led to the shelters.

After several minutes, the PA voice returned and said we could resume our previous positions.

As we were all making our way back to our seats, a spontaneous prayer group of 100 people formed. They held hands and began praying aloud in a foreign language. Many Christians were in Israel for the annual “March of the Nations” to declare their support of Israel, from all over the world, so it was inspiring to see so many turning to God in our time of crisis.

After staying awake all night, at 2 a.m., we got on line for the three-hour trudge through the customs. The last hurdle to clear was the takeoff. I don’t know if anyone else was thinking this but I wouldn’t be completely comfortable until we flew beyond the range of rocket-propelled grenades.

One of the hardest things was not knowing what was going on outside the airport. We didn’t even know how many Israeli soldiers were out there or if the terrorists were close by. One woman told us she had been inside a hotel in Tel Aviv with her husband and they could hear terrorists inside their building. Fortunately, at that moment, a busload of Israeli soldiers showed up and the terrorists ran.

As I felt the vibrating power and the hum of the jet lift us above the ground and then through the clouds I could finally relax. When we touched down at the Marseille airport, the relief we all felt was palpable. We found ourselves smiling again and we thanked God for our safe arrival.

One thing, however, we can’t forget is the wonderful people we met ministering in Israel and the nightmare it is for so many people in that country.

We will continue to pray for Israel, the foreigners trapped there and for the release of those held hostage until they are released and the war is over.

Tim Bennett is an awardwinning author who lives in Syracuse. HIs books include “To Uber or Not to Uber” and the novel “Runaways.” He is married with three children and eleven grandchildren.

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Non-work income such as annuities, investment income, interest, capital gains, and other government benefits are not counted and will not affect your Social Security benefits. Most pensions will not affect your benefits. However, your benefit may be affected by government pensions earned through work on which you did not pay Social Security tax.

Q: I worked for many years before I became disabled, but I didn’t have enough recent work to receive Social Security Disability (SSDI) payments. Instead, I receive SSI. Will I ever receive Social Security payments? A: It depends. If you have at least 40 quarters of coverage, you can be eligible for Social Security retirement payments beginning at age 62. Additionally, if you are performing some work while you are on SSI, you may become currently insured for disability payments in the future.

There are other ways you could become eligible for Social Security benefits, including benefits through a spouse or a divorced spouse.

Q: My son receives SSI payments and I have to report my wages each month. How can I do that?

A: There are multiple ways to report wages to Social Security. The easiest way to report wages if you have access to a smart phone is by using the SSI Mobile Wage Reporting (SSIMWR) app. This app can be downloaded and installed for free through the iTunes Store or Google Play, depending upon your device. Also, you may report wages through the SSI Telephone Wage Reporting (SSITWR) system. If you cannot report through either the SSIMWR or the SSITWR, you may also mail, fax, or bring proof of your wages into your local Social Security office.

expenses

8 PURCHASES YOU SHOULD NEVER MAKE DURING RETIREMENT

By John Csiszar

O

nce they retire, many boomers change their spending patterns quite a bit. There’s nothing inherently wrong with this, as long as they remain within their retirement budget.

However, there are some things that boomers tend to splurge on in retirement that can wreak havoc on their long-term financial plans.

Whether it’s because they feel like “they’ve earned the right” or they simply don’t understand how problematic it can be, overspending is a sure way to put their long-term retirement lifestyle at risk.

To help avoid falling into this situation yourself, take a look at this list of things that boomers should never buy in retirement.

1. Overpriced Vacations It’s only natural to want to take a vacation once you retire. In fact, some retirees try to make it a lifestyle. And there’s nothing wrong with going on occasional trips, or even living overseas. But you have to ensure that your vacation spending falls within your budget.

Even if you’re retiring with a seven-figure nest egg, that doesn’t mean you can take a $50,000 roundthe-world cruise every year. While what is an “overpriced” vacation will vary depending on your lifestyle and the amount of money you have, anything that’s more than double the price of your usual vacation likely qualifies.

2. Extravagant Gifts Retirees are often generous with their money, enjoying the feeling they get from helping out family and loved ones.

But it’s important to curtail the urge to give pricey gifts to everyone you know because before you know it, you’ll be depleting the savings that you need to live a decent lifestyle.

3. Unneeded Home Renovations If you plan on spending a lot of time at home during retirement, there’s nothing wrong with making the occasional home upgrade.

But overspending on unneeded home renovations can be a huge financial drain. Unless you’re planning

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

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to improve your home so you can sell it at a higher price, renovating every single room is probably unnecessary, for example.

4. Discretionary Items You Can’t Pay For With Cash Most retirees live more or less on a fixed income consisting of Social Security and retirement and pension account income. This means that if they spend beyond their budget, they may have to go into debt to cover that expense.

This is something you should try to avoid at all costs in retirement. Debt will drag down even the best laid-out of financial plans, especially when you’re living on a fixed income.

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5. Timeshares Timeshares can seem like a great deal to retirees. After all, they promise the freedom to go vacation in a specific location a few weeks or even a month every year, and some even allow trading so you can stay in a new destination.

But the truth is that timeshares can be expensive and restrictive. They are typically difficult to sell, rarely appreciate in value and have ongoing expenses and upkeep that can really add up. Most retirees are better served simply taking traditional vacations.

6. Excess Life Insurance By the time you reach retirement age, a new or increased life insurance policy could prove prohibitively expensive.

If you don’t already have life insurance and have a spouse or heirs that depend on you financially, it may still be viable. But generally speaking, most retirees already have grown kids and a paid-off mortgage, making life insurance somewhat unnecessary.

7. Out-of-Network Medical Services You can generally expect your medical expenses to increase once you reach retirement age. But there’s no need to spend more money than you have to.

Most insurance plans will charge you a higher amount if you use a doctor or hospital outside of their

preferred network, so it pays to find an in-network provider before you undergo any procedures.

8. Things Your Kids Should Be Paying For It’s only natural to want to spend money on your family after you’re retired, especially your children or grandchildren. And while you shouldn’t completely neglect them, you should also avoid the temptation to spend money on them for things they should be taking care of themselves.

For example, while it’s common to give the ones you love gifts for the holidays, it’s another thing entirely to pay their monthly bills or rent for them. Not only are you teaching them bad financial habits, but you’re also, no doubt, hurting your own retirement lifestyle as well.

Caveat: Everyone Is Different This list isn’t meant to tell you how to live your life after you retire.

But it’s a reminder that spending on certain items in retirement is more likely to cause you financial difficulty than others.

As everyone’s financial situation is different, the most important thing to remember is to stick to a budget and avoid living beyond your means, as it can be hard to dig yourself out of a hole when you’ve living on a fixed income.

Story previously published in GObaking rates.com. Reprinted with permission.

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couples

Relationships Are Hard: What I've Learned

By Barbara Pierce

L

iving with another person is probably one of the most difficult things to do.

Moving in with someone has advantages. It’s a way to ramping up the commitment and lower living costs. You get to enjoy more time in each other ’s company, while simultaneously quadrupling your ability to compromise.

The key words are those last few words: Quadrupling your ability to compromise! Trust me, this is true.

A few months ago, I moved in with a man. We had spent a lot of time together; he was always pleasant and agreeable. I thought all would go smoothly.

I thought I knew how to live with someone. But I hit new challenges I never saw coming. There’s a lot

I’m learning.

I love the way author Sue Grafton’s character, Kinsey Milhone, describes it: “Being single can be confusing. On one hand, you yearn for the simple comfort of companionship. On the other hand, once you get used to being alone, you have to wonder why you’d ever take on the aggravation of a relationship.

Other human beings have all these habits, opinions, peculiar tastes, not to mention mood disorders and attitudes that in no way coincide with the correct ones, namely yours.”

I keep reminding myself that I did want his full-time companionship.

And that I chose this. It works well for me financially. And just because he does so many things in ways that are vastly different from the ways I’ve always done things (the right way of

course), I need to be OK with that.

He’s used to living alone. So if he continues to act like a person who’s still living alone, that’s who he is.

That’s who I chose.

We’re so different. For example, shopping together is a disaster: He has two speeds: slow and reverse. I’m fast at everything. I speed through the supermarket, quickly making choices, throwing my choice in the cart then speeding on to the next thing on my list. He leisurely strolls down each aisle, studying each item thoughtfully before deciding what to place gently in the cart. You can see why this doesn’t work.

Kind of like how we drive. If the light’s been green awhile, I speed up to get through before it changes. He slows down, preparing to stop.

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

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And when I’ve cooked dinner and he only has complaints about what he doesn’t like, well, I chose to cook that dinner, and I should be happy he feels comfortable letting me know what he doesn’t like.

After three months of things getting worse and worse, we hit bottom. We were both miserable and acknowledged this, discussing whether we should keep living together. We agreed to split up if things didn’t change and talked about how that would work.

Since that discussion and considering alternatives, things started moving in a positive direction. We’ve both mellowed out, smoothed out the rough edges. He’s quit complaining and whining all the time and I’m finally enjoying our life together. It’s working the way I thought it would work from the beginning.

I really did want our arrangement to work out, so I began to recognize some things we needed to do differently and do them.

So, whether you’re living with a partner, a friend, family member, or stranger, here are some suggestions

you might consider: Be ready to compromise. Yes, it’s rough at first, working out how things will work between you. If you can’t compromise, live alone. Every little detail comes up for discussion.

Don’t expect each other to be enough. On a logical level, most of us understand that one person can’t meet all our needs. So why do we expect this from our romantic partner? We’re expecting one person to give us what an entire village used to provide.

I realized one of our issues was that our world was too narrow. We’re socially isolated, living in a new area, don’t know anyone. None of our friends live close. We were depending on each other to be everything and that was not realistic. We drove to spend time with our old friends and came out feeling happier. We’re cultivating new people in our new life.

Do some things together, some things apart: Doing everything together all day, every day, likely isn't super great for either of you.

Each of you needs your own interests and your own things. Spending time apart makes your time together more

meaningful. A relationship needs some space to thrive. We’re finding opportunities to do things alone and as a couple.

Khali Gibran describes this balance in “The Prophet,” (written 100 years ago): “Let there be spaces in your togetherness. Let the winds of the heavens dance between you…Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone.”

Barbara Pierce is a contributing writer for In Good Health — The Healthcare Newspaper and a retired licensed clinical social worker. She is the author of “When You Come to the Edge: Aging.” To buy her book or contact her, send an email to barbarapierce06@yahoo.com.

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aging

By Marilyn L. Pinsky

Smoking, Sugar, Helmets…

Feeling guilty about what I didn’t know back in the day

I

smoked through most of my children’s growing up years. I tell myself it was in the early days of knowing about the dangers of smoking, let alone second-hand smoke, but is ignorance a defense?

It was in the ‘50s when studies started coming out that smoking caused cancer, so if I had been paying attention, I should have known. I justified ignoring the warnings by telling myself that doctors I knew were still smoking and if they weren’t worried, why should I be? And then, even when I knew the studies were right, I still had trouble stopping until I had to have a biopsy which scared the heck out of me and I stopped cold turkey.

But the guilt of having exposed my children to the smoke remains.

Now we are learning more and 24

more about the dangers of eating sugar.

We were brought up, and probably brought up our children, to associate sweets with being a treat for being good. You cleaned your whole plate, now you can have dessert. If you clean your room, you can have a piece of candy. Even the doctors gave out lollipops!

And now, though I know better, I’m still hooked. I tell myself that if I eat a healthy meal, rather than what I really want to eat, I’ll reward myself with something sweet at the end.

Worried that I had an addictive personality because of my relationship to sweets and cigarettes, I never was tempted by drugs because I couldn’t take a chance being addicted to anything else. I felt like Dracula — one bite and I’d be hooked.

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

When I was in college, I worked the dormitory switchboard at night to earn money. My cousin and I, in school together, shared an August birthday and we used to complain that we never had a party like our friends whose birthdays were during the school year.

So the friends surprised us one night with a sheet cake that had wonderful, thick icing on it saying “Happy HalfBirthday Donna and Marilyn.” It was delivered to the desk where I was working and after an hour of staring at the huge box, I opened it and ate all the icing off my half of the cake. Needless to say, everyone was furious at me. I understand why Dracula gets no love.

Then there’s the whole seat belt thing to feel guilty about.

With three kids, there was always a fight over who got the two side windows and who had to sit in the middle. When they weren’t fighting over that and climbing over each other to get to the windows, they were in the back of the station wagon rolling around and fighting about something else. Parents these days would never think of just tossing their kids in the car and taking off. Looking back now, I feel like such an irresponsible parent.

My children used to jump on their bikes and ride pell-mell down the street and I never gave it a second thought. It wasn’t until the late ‘70s and ‘80s that we learned about the importance of wearing helmets for bicycling and motorcycling and that well-constructed helmets protect against brain injury.

So I can give myself a pass on that one timeline-wise. I know it’s not easy to police kid’s helmet use when they’re out of sight, but there is hope as I see that this generation of parents have their little ones on tricycles wearing helmets, so they get used to just putting them on when they get on their bikes.

When I asked my granddaughter, who refused to wear a helmet when she was a child, what she’d do with her own children when she has them, she said, “absolutely they’ll wear helmets.”

There’s hope for the next generation.

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retirement

Jim Reith at his home garden in the Bayberry section of Liverpool where he lives. Among other things, he plants three varieties of tomatoes, green peppers, jalapeno peppers, banana peppers and zucchini.

JIM REITH IN RETIREMENT: NO TV BEFORE 4 PM

He once dominated the radio talk show landscape in Syracuse, with four hours on the air each weekday. Today he is content gardening, watching the Yankees, reselling things on eBay and mulling over writing a book

By Margaret McCormick

W

hen Jim Reith left his That includes meeting old friends known as the Comstock Tract. A work life behind to join for lunch, organizing, photographing, development with hundreds of homes, the ranks of the retired, a and listing on eBay the thrift store finds townhouses and apartments has been longtime friend gave him he has stockpiled in his basement, proposed for the area. He graduated some advice. Stay hydrated all day, his exploring the possibility of writing from C.W. Baker High School in 1976 friend said, and don’t turn on the TV a book based on his early years in and spent a few years in the Navy. He before 4 p.m.

Central New York, and watching the later attended Onondaga Community “It’s great advice and I stick to Yankees.

College, where he earned an associate that,’’ Reith says. “I could easily turn How did his garden grow? He degree in TV and radio. on Turner Classic Movies and watch planted three varieties of tomatoes, Reith began his career in radio all day.’’ green peppers, jalapeno peppers, as Jay Edwards on Magic 104.7 FM Reith has established a retirement banana peppers and zucchini, among in Fulton and has fond memories of routine, a very laid back one. The other things, and loved seeing his his days working in live local radio. former public information officer efforts come to fruition throughout the He joined WSYR Radio as a reporter and talk show host, well anchor covering local known for his time as government, including host of the “Jim Reith the administration, Show’’ on NewsRadio corruption trial, Jim Reith played host to his Jim Reith 570 (WSYR), sets a goal or sentencing and two for each day: Weed imprisonment of the Show for 12 years. He says he couldn’t the vegetable garden. late Syracuse Mayor Lee do it today: “People are so angry, and Run errands. Take a spin Alexander. He worked through Thrifty Shopper at the station for 27 years politics is so divisive,’’ he says. “And I or Goodwill in search and briefly served as can’t stand Donald Trump.’’ of merchandise for his news director before clothing resale business beginning his 12-year on eBay. The thrill of run as afternoon-evening the hunt for highertalk show host. end men’s clothes and In this era of footwear (and some women’s fashions) growing season. He’s already planning streaming, satellite radio and podcasts keeps him going. (Find his shop here: a larger garden for 2024, with an it’s hard to imagine: What did he talk www.ebay.com/usr/cheeze58) expanded area dedicated to growing about every weekday? It’s more like Take time to relax? Absolutely. sugar baby watermelons. what didn’t he talk about? Syracuse “I kind of like being retired,’’ Reith lives in the Bayberry section University basketball, Syracuse says Reith, 65, who left his position of Liverpool with his partner, Shalene University football, Jim Boeheim, local as a public information officer for the Albanese. He has two adult children politics, the governor, the weather, Onondaga County Department of from a marriage that ended in divorce. pizza, music, movies, his snack of the Water Environment Protection earlier His daughter graduated from college day — you name it. For four hours each this year. “Actually, I love being retired. this year and his son lives in Chicago. weekday, 3 to 7 p.m.

I like not having to be somewhere at a The former talk show host grew “A lot of it was local issues, but certain time and having the ability to up in Baldwinsville, just outside the if I found something interesting on do whatever I want to do.’’ village in the peaceful neighborhood a national level, I would have my DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

27

Jim Reith in the basement of his home, surrounded by clothing he buys at Thrifty Shopper or Goodwill and re-sells on eBay. producer get a hold of that person,’’ Reith recalls. “I spoke with the last living person to work with Thomas Edison. I interviewed over 100 celebrities.’’

It wasn’t unusual for Reith to speak with, say, former County Executive Nicholas Pirro on the pressing issues of the day during one segment and chat with an actor like Janet Leigh or an entertainer like Robert Goulet during another. In fact, Reith interviewed Goulet after an appearance in Central New York and later learned the singer died due to a heart attack on a flight from Syracuse to Las Vegas.

Some listeners loved him, some listeners loathed him. Sometimes he hung the phone up on them.

“His show was all about what’s going on in Central New York, the good, the bad, the ugly,” A. Randall (Randy) Wenner, an instructor of broadcast journalism at S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University, told The PostStandard at the time of Reith’s removal from the WSYR lineup in 2011. “It was, ‘Let’s bring in all sides and debate the issues and decide for ourselves what’s best for Central New York.’”

Dave Bullard, who served as news director at WSYR during Reith’s tenure, says the cancellation of his friend’s open-format talk show left a void in the community, “a great, big smoking hole,’’ that exists to this 28

day. (Bullard recently retired from the New York State Fair and now serves as a public relations and marketing consultant.)

“When I think of Jim’s show, I think of two things,’’ Bullard says. “I think of his extreme focus on local issues and local events. If it was happening around town, he was talking about it and to a sizable audience every night.

Then I think of the fun he brought to that show: the snack of the day, the song of the day, pulling his producers into the show, his goofy suggestions for getting people to call in… There’s still a need for that outlet for people and for information sharing.’’

Reith says he couldn’t do the show today. “People are so angry, and politics is so divisive,’’ he explains.

“And I can’t stand Donald Trump.’’

What would he talk about if he was still on the air? Hyper-local issues like the debate surrounding the removal of the Columbus monument in downtown Syracuse, the tear down of Interstate 81 and its community grid replacement, the retirement of Syracuse University basketball coach Jim Boeheim, the arrival of Micron and what it means for the region, the Onondaga Lake Parkway bridge, and the county’s plan to build an aquarium in Syracuse’s Inner Harbor area.

He has given passing thought to podcasting and sometimes raises hotbutton topics that get people talking

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

on Facebook and Twitter. But he’s more likely to tell followers about an excellent Indian restaurant he visited or seek input on where to get a great burger within 50 miles of Syracuse.

When Reith left the public ear, he was hired by then County Executive Joanie Mahoney to promote the Save the Rain program, a project of the Department of Water Environment Protection. He later worked as a public information officer for the Department of Social Services, handling internal and external communications.

“It was fascinating to see the inside of that department and how that works,’’ Reith says. “Those people are so overworked and understaffed.

Most people do their job during the day and go home. At social services, you never finish.’’

In 2015, he was diagnosed with throat cancer — an ironic development for a former radio host whose career depended on his voice. He underwent chemotherapy and radiation and is now cancer free. He says the experience left him with an attitude of gratitude for each day and a desire to live life “in the moment.’’

Reith says it’s true what people say about retirement: You no longer need to set an alarm clock. And every day feels like Saturday. “But it’s also important to do something every day,’’ he adds.

estate planning

By Jan Lane

Planning Never Stops

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hile estate planning is crucial for promoting financial and generational wellness, the majority of American adults don’t have estate planning documents — like wills, trusts or healthcare directives — in place.

It is common for many of us to avoid this process for a whole host of reasons, including procrastination, the misconception that it is strictly for older adults or those with lots of money or property or simply because we don’t know where to start.

For those of us who have gotten started, it’s important to remember that a good planning process never really stops.

Once an estate plan is in place, most people wait for a major life transition, like the birth of a child, purchase of a home, serious illness or passing of a loved one, to trigger a review.

The truth is it’s never too early to start thinking about estate planning and once you’ve put your wishes in writing, it’s a good idea to revisit these documents at least every three to five years. Even if your life circumstances haven’t changed, a routine review provides an opportunity to reflect on other factors that may shift over time — ranging from the technical (tax laws) to the intangible (your priorities).

As you review your estate plan, consider whether your documents are aligned with your charitable intentions. A charitable fund can be an ideal recipient of estate gifts through a will or trust or through a beneficiary designation on a qualified retirement plan or life insurance policy.

Whether you opt to create your own fund or supplement an existing endowment that aligns with your

vision for long-term impact, the proceeds can be used to support the causes you care about most.

Just as there are plenty of reasons to review your estate plan on a regular basis, the same is true of a charitable legacy plan. Here are a few examples to consider: Charities can change If your plan includes direct support for your favorite nonprofits, a periodic review will allow you to include backups or contingencies in the event that a charity ceases its operations.

You can change A periodic review will give you a chance to check in with yourself and reflect on what is most important to you. Is your answer the same now as it was five years ago? Will it be the same a decade from now?

The community can change We need only look to the past

to understand that the needs and opportunities that we are addressing today will not be the same as the needs and opportunities of tomorrow. While reviewing your plan, you may wish to consider how you can incorporate support that is flexible enough to respond to these changes.

Whether it is estate or legacy planning, these are ongoing steps we can all take throughout our lives to protect our loved ones, support future generations and preserve our legacies. Your local community foundation can help you develop — and maintain — a charitable legacy plan that complements your estate plan and evolves with your wishes.

Jan Lane is a senior philanthropic adviser at the Central New York Community Foundation.

In her role, she supports charitable planning for individuals, families and companies and facilitates the Community Foundation’s legacy planning program. To learn more about options for preserving your charitable legacy, contact Lane at jlane@cnycf.org or visit 5forCNY.org

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Coach Boeheim at the annual Hoops for Hope Dinner benefitting the Boys and Girls Club with club members.

BOEHEIM FOUNDATION ENRICHING THE LIVES OF CNY YOUTH, FAMILIES

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By Norah Machia

or nearly 25 years, the Jim and Juli Boeheim Foundation has focused on improving the quality of life for children in the Syracuse region by supporting innovative and creative programs that offer meaningful ways to help struggling families.

It’s estimated more than 32,000 people in Syracuse are living below the federal poverty line and a recent census report identified the city as having the highest child poverty rate in the country among cities with at least 100,000 people.

“There is no easy solution, but if we all did something, it would help,” said Juli. “We need to work together to turn the lives of these kids around.”

The Boeheim Foundation also funds programs for pediatric and adult cancer patients at Upstate Medical University and Crouse Hospital and has supported several organizations focused on eliminating cancer through research and advocacy.

Their impact on helping children has been a profound one. Since the foundation was established, more than $8.7 million in funding has been

awarded through 800 grants to 300 nonprofit organizations responding to many different critical needs in the community.

The couple is beyond grateful for the outpouring of help from the Syracuse community, said Juli. A wide range of businesses, organizations and individuals have thrown their support behind the Boeheim Foundation and its mission. “These donors are celebrating the Syracuse community by giving back to it and really making a difference in the lives of children throughout Central New York,” she said.

While many nonprofit groups have received long-term support from the foundation, new organizations that offer impactful programs to create positive outcomes for children are always welcome to apply.

“We’re trying to help the kids in our community who need it the most,” said Juli. “We work with many different groups to accomplish this goal.” The foundation grants range from $1,000 to $100,000 and no matter the size of the organization, they all offer something important, she added.

After his retirement as

Syracuse University head men’s basketball coach following the 2022–23 season, Boeheim was appointed as a special assistant to the athletic director.

In October, it was announced that he would join ESPN as an analyst for the upcoming college basketball season and also work as a radio analyst for Westwood One Sports.

Even with his busy schedule, Boeheim plans to continue devoting time to the foundation, which is a top priority for him.

One of his biggest concerns is for young children, particularly those aged 12 to 15, who are not attending school on a regular basis. It’s a situation that was made worse by the COVID-19 pandemic, Boeheim said.

“There have been more kids out of school since the pandemic,” and many live in homes with no access to Wi-Fi service for online learning, he added.

“We need resources to make kids want to show up for school,” said Juli Boeheim. It’s important to have schools be a vital focus of the community and create opportunities that allow for partnerships to support students and their families who may 32

be facing issues such as hunger and homelessness, she added.

One of the organizations supported by the Boeheim Foundation for many years is the Boys & Girls Club of Syrac use, which offers a variety of after-school and summer youth programming. Their locations provide a safe space for children to complete their homework and participate in youth recreational activities and the agency partners with several public housing developments for its programs.

“For many children, if they didn’t go to the Boys and Girls Clubs, they wouldn’t get lunch” during the summer months, added Jim. Programs that help children through sports have deep meaning for the retired basketball coach. He teamed up with New York Knicks star and former SU basketball player Carmelo Anthony to develop the “Courts 4 Kids” program which refurbishes or rebuilds basketball courts at playgrounds in disadvantaged communities throughout the region.

The program is supported by the City of Syracuse Department of Parks,

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Recreation and Youth Programs, Time Warner Cable and TVOne. Seven new basketball courts have been built on playgrounds for children through the “Courts 4 Kids” program.

Boeheim recalled one playground where the kids had seen the workers and asked what was being built, and reacted in shock when told those courts were going to be for them. Some of those kids even offered to help with the project.

In recent years, the foundation has seen more requests for help from organizations working to provide food to struggling families.

“There seems to be more hunger in the community,” said Juli. One of the many organizations supported by the Foundation is the Food Bank of Central New York.

Serving more than 400 emergency food programs, the Food Bank covers a 12,334-square-mile region, helping an increasing number of people facing hunger in Onondaga County and many surrounding communities.

Coach Boeheim at the opening ceremonies for the 2023 Syracuse Challenger Baseball season.

Coach Boeheim and his wife Juli giving out art supplies provided to the foundation by Kingart to the CNY Community Arts Center.

There have also been increasing grant requests from agencies that serve children with special needs, Juli said. One agency supported by the foundation is the Elmcrest Children’s Center, which offers residential care for youth with emotional or behavioral difficulties who are referred through the Family Court system. The organization focuses on education, employment and character building to help youths succeed in the classroom, workplace and community.

Boeheim has supported many charitable causes during his time at Syracuse University, including Coaches vs. Cancer, Boys & Girls Clubs of Syracuse, the Make-A-Wish Foundation, Rescue Mission, Upstate Cancer Center and Crouse Hospital.

The couple decided to form their own foundation to continue raising funds for pediatric cancer patients while expanding their efforts to help children with a variety of needs throughout Central New York.

“We wanted to keep the donations closer to home and help people right

in the community,” Jim Boeheim said.

“We have control over every penny donated, and it all stays local.”

Boeheim had a remarkable run as head coach at his alma mater, ranking second in all-time Division 1 coaching triumphs and making 34 trips into the NCAA Tournament, with five appearances in the Final Four and a 2003 national championship.

In 2005, he was inducted into the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame, and this past April, he received the John R. Woods “Legends of Coaching” Award. Syracuse University named the Carrier Dome court “Jim Boeheim Court” in 2002. Boeheim was named 2001 USA Basketball National Coach of the Year and served as an assistant coach of the U.S. Olympic team that won several gold medals.

Born in Miami and raised in Kentucky, Juli Boeheim was introduced to her future husband at a 1994 Kentucky Derby party. The couple married in 1997 and has three children, Jimmy, and twins Jamie and Jack. Jim Boeheim’s older daughter, Elizabeth,

a graduate of Colby College, resides in Montana.

Juli has been the driving force in establishing a major fund-raising event for the foundation, the annual “Basket Ball” gala, a black-tie affair that raises millions in donations for the Central New York Community. The 25th annual event will be held on April 27, 2024, at the Turning Stone Resort and Casino, a major supporter of the Boeheim Foundation.

She has enjoyed connecting with many of the grant recipients and visiting those organizations in the community as often as possible. Along with the fundraising, promoting the good work being done by these groups is also a priority for her.

“We’re trying to help kids in the community who need it the most,” she said. “We’re a small operation with two part-time staff and many dedicated volunteers. Approximately 90% of the money taken in is distributed to the community.”

For more information on the B o e h e i m F o u n d a t i o n : w w w. boeheimfoundation.org

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diversity

The annual Pride Parade at the 2023 CNY Pride Parade and Festival held June 20-23 in the Inner Harbor area near Onondaga Lake in Syracuse.

Improving the Lives of Older LGBTQ People SAGE Upstate is celebrating 26 years with more participants, more programs aimed at improving the quality of life of older GLBTQ people

By David Figura

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ike many organizations, SAGE Upstate saw a marked decrease in the participation of its programs during the COVID-19 pandemic.

“Going into it, we thought it was going to last a month and then we knew it wouldn’t — and we started putting many of our programs on Zoom. Some worked, some didn’t,” said Kim Dill, executive director of the Syracuse-based program that serves the needs of older lesbian, 34

gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning people.

Prior to the pandemic in 2020, SAGE offered health and educational programs, social activities and support groups to as many as 150 individuals per month.

Participation during the pandemic initially dropped more than 60%.

The staff was cut from two to one employee. “Just me,” Dill said.

But now, she emphasized, “SAGE is coming back. Our participation [in

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A Second Sunday potluck dinner earlier this year hosted by SAGE Upstate in the CNY Philanthropy Center ballroom in Syracuse. programs and activities] is starting to reach pre-COVID levels.”

Currently there are three full-time employees, with a fourth to be added soon, Dill said. In addition, SAGE is contracting with several individuals — called “ambassadors” — who are getting paid to reach out, connect and come up with programs that attract subsets of the LGBTQ community, such as the transgender community and persons of color.

SAGE stands for Services and Advocacy for GLBTQ Elders.

SAGE Upstate is celebrating its 26th anniversary, was founded in 1997

by Syracuse residents Coy Ludwig and his partner, Dan Smith.

The gay couple attended a conference of the NYC chapter of SAGE about how to form a SAGE program. They came back to Syracuse determined to start one here.

They got together a group of community leaders, academics, professional people, the County Office for Aging and made it happen, Dill said.

Dill said as LGBTQ adults age they

Leslie Lamb, program director (left), and Kim Dill, executive director of SAGE Upstate hold flowers given to them by the SAGE board at the organization’s annual dinner. have many of the same economic and health issues that straight individuals face. However, they have the added challenges of discrimination and are less likely to have children or other family members to care for them, she added.

Loneliness is a huge issue, Dill said, as many of her agency’s clients are reluctant to reach out to mainstream sources of support because they’re unsure how they’ll be treated and if they’ll be accepted. When they were younger, the bar scene for many played a big role for socialization and connections. But things tend to change as one ages, Dill said.

SAGE’s programs include yoga, dance classes, a writer’s group, fitness classes and other health and wellness presentations. Many of the activities are socially oriented. Members enjoy things like potluck dinners, men’s nights out, a men’s support group, art classes, knitting, dances — all activities designed to keeping individuals from becoming socially isolated and giving them a safe space where they’ll feel comfortable and not judged or

mistreated, Dill said.

The following are excerpts from a recent interview with Dill: Q: How is your program funded?

A: We get money from the state Department of Health, Onondaga County, a number of generous donors and profits from local events that we host.

Q: What does it cost to participate in one of your programs?

A: We’re almost 100% free. We do have some fundraising events, but those are always what you can give, such as a suggested donation of $10 for a dance.

Q: What are the ages of those who participate in your programs?

A: Most are 55 and older. Some are younger. We have no age restrictions, but our programs are designed for older LGBTQ persons.

Q: What’s the percentage of men versus women who take advantage of your programs?

A: Right now, it’s probably 65% women, 35% men. With other SAGE chapters around the country, many

have the opposite mix — all or mostly all men. Here, in the last few years, SAGE Upstate has shifted from all men, a lot of men, to many women.

Back and forth. Some of the programs now are pretty even, such as everyone meeting at a restaurant for breakfast or a dinner. The veterans’ group, the writer’s group and the knitters group are all pretty even. But the high visibility events such as dances, a big potluck meal, a picnic — are mostly attended by women. We’re working on ways to change that.

Q: You mention “it’s a different game out there” for LGBTQ individuals when you were growing up. Explain.

A: I’m 65. If you’re someone my age or older you have lived through some awful periods of discrimination and prejudice against our community.

People who came out before 1973 [when the American Psychiatric Association stated that homosexuality was not a mental illness or sickness], were classified as mentally ill. They did things like shock treatments.

Even if you didn’t have to do that

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you knew what could happen if you came out of the closet. You could lose your job, get kicked out of your church, get dishonorably discharged from the military, have your families [disown] you. All that, and it was just fine with most of society. That’s one of the reasons that today the annual Gay Pride Parade is a pride parade, the opposite of shame. We’re proud of who we are.

Q: Thoughts about the current political environment and how it could affect those who you serve and the programs you offer?

A: Here in New York state, we’re lucky. But in other parts of the country, they’re trying to take things back to the 1950s, ‘60s or ‘70s. We lived through it and don’t want our young people to have to go through it again. It’s ridiculous how we’re backtracking on some things. It’s scary. Here in Syracuse, and in big cities, things are pretty good. Rural areas, though, are generally very conservative.

SAGE Upstate’s Advocacy Committee is raising awareness about efforts around the country to enact anti-LGBTQ laws that take rights away from members of our community — especially transgender people. We are encouraging people to stand up for inclusive laws, patronize LGBTQ supportive businesses and fight efforts to erase our history by banning books in schools and libraries.

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Q: Talk about how your center supports LGBTQ veterans.

A: Our group meets monthly and we bring in a range of speakers to address various issues. The big thing is support, helping people find housing and health care. And also, making persons aware of the “The Restoration of Honor Act,” passed in 2019. [The law authorizes the New York State Department of Veterans’ Services to restore state veterans benefits to veterans who have been discharged with a status of otherthan-honorable (OTH) or general (under honorable conditions) due to post-traumatic stress disorder, traumatic brain injury, military sexual trauma, sexual orientation, or gender identity or gender expression.] Many older persons in our community who served in the military and were dishonorably discharged in the past because of their sexual orientation or gender identity are unaware that they’re eligible now for disability compensation, pension and home loan benefits. We have a program called SAGE Vets. We do our best in league with SAGE New York City, along with other agencies (Clear Path, the local Veterans Administration), to educate veterans in our community and assist them in getting them their benefits.

Many have been ashamed for years to even say that they served our country.

It’s terrible.

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Q: Your center serves as a place to connect people, resulting in good friendships and support networks, even a sense of family for those who have none locally.

A: I know for a fact that people who have met others through SAGE do things like celebrate birthdays together, get together on holidays. For all aging people, the loss of friends through death or them moving away is a part of life. If you don’t have that circle of support around you, you’ll suffer loneliness and isolation, which can have terrible negative effects both physically and mentally — particularly if you’re facing something hard.

We recently had one of our clients suffer a stroke at home and he called a SAGE friend who on a moment’s notice took him to the hospital and afterward gave him rides to his medical appointments. If we’re doing our job, that’s the kind of social connections we strive to foster.

More about SAGE SAGE Upstate is located in the CNY Philanthropy Center at 431 E. Fayette St. in Syracuse. It serves older LGBTQ persons in Cayuga, Cortland, Jefferson, Madison, Oneida, Onondaga and Oswego counties. For more, go to sageupstate.org or call 315-478-1923.

To sign up for the center ’s weekly emails about activities and programs, go to sageupstate.org/weekly-email.

your health

By Eva Briggs, M.D.

Over 50 Already? 7 Things You Should Do

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f you own a car, you know that to maximize its longevity you need to perform regular preventive maintenance such as oil changes.

The same concept applies to your body.

Here are some tips to help you maintain your best health as you move beyond age 50.

1.

Exercise. Keep active and keep moving with a goal of 150 minutes of aerobic exercise weekly. That averages to about 22 minutes per day. You can walk, cycle, dance or do whatever you like. It’s hard to stick with any activity unless it’s something you enjoy. Some people prefer to go it alone, others like to attend a class or work out with a friend. If you are a dog owner, you have a ready-made exercise buddy. Also aim for muscle strengthening exercise twice a week such as resistance exercises at the gym, body weight exercises, yoga, or resistance bands. If you are currently inactive, don’t try to jump into exercise all at once. Build up gradually.

2.

Diet. Choose a healthy diet, such as the Mediterranean diet. Avoid sugary drinks like soda and juice. Water is the best drink to stay hydrated.

Consider adding electrolytes when you are in particularly hot or strenuous circumstances.

3.

Consume alcohol in moderation.

Alcohol has short term risks of motor vehicle accidents, violence and sexual risk behaviors as well as long term risks, including high blood pressure, liver disease and some cancers. Current

recommendation are for no more than two alcoholic drinks per day for men and no more than one per day for women.

4.

Quit tobacco if you smoke, to reduce the risk of heart disease, lung disease, and various cancers. One place to start is by calling 1-800-QUIT-NOW for free help.

5.

Family history. Try to find out your family history to determine whether you are at risk of conditions that require early or special screening or testing. Don’t be afraid to ask for details. For example, if a relative had cancer, what type of cancer did they have? Where did it start? What type of treatment did they need? If they had heart disease, was it a blocked artery?

A bad heart valve? Heart muscle disease (cardiomyopathy)?

If you don’t already have a primary care provider (PCP), become established with one. One benefit is that your PCP can guide you to ageappropriate screening tests. This might include colonoscopy to screen for colon cancer, mammogram to screen for breast cancer, as well as appropriate lab tests. If you have been a smoker, you may need a lung CT to screen for lung cancer.

6.

Stay social. People who stay socially engaged live longer. Keep in contact with family and friends, and participate in activities with a social component — membership in organizations, volunteer work, attending church, taking enrichment classes, etc.

7.

H o b b i e s . Continue hobbies or learn a new hobby. My own current favorites include guitar lessons, reading, crafting, walking my dogs and photography. The possibilities for keeping your mind engaged and active are endless.

And follow all the various miscellaneous recommendations for staying healthy: wear your seatbelt, use eye protection, apply sunscreen.

Some things are of course out of your control, such as the genetics you inherited, the environment you were raised in, and youthful indiscretion.

But as one of my older friends always says, today is the best day of your life because you’re still here!

So, make the most of your future by starting healthy habits today.

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second act

The Robin’s Nest Hatches Quilts — and Memories

Robin Hall of Fulton worked with people with disabilities for 33 years. Then she started her own quilting shop. She is now celebrating 10 years in business

By Stefan Yablonski

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obin Hall’s ‘nest’ is a cozy little shop tucked away along West Broadway in Fulton. The walls are adorned with swaths of fabric, quilts — large and small, and everything else a quilter might need.

Hall, 58, was born and raised in Sterling; one of five children. She went to school in Red Creek and attended college at Cayuga Community College.

She married and raised two daughters and two step daughters.

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“I worked at Oswego Industries as a supervisor with disabled adults for 33 years,” she said.

While attending high school, in her sophomore year, she took an art class where a semester was spent on a batiking class.

“This process is done using wax and dyes. Waxing all parts of the fabric except for which color you want to dye your fabric the first color; then removing wax from the next sections

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while covering the part you just dyed, this continues until you have all the colors and the design you’re looking to achieve,” she explained. “After the project was done, approximately a 60 by 80 inch piece I didn’t know what to do with it. I then decided to use it as the back of a quilt. I’d never done anything like this before. I went to my mother’s clothing without permission — I cut them up into six-inch squares and sewed them together until it was

Robin Hall, 58, started her business 10 years ago. “Always wanting to do something in retail, loving fabrics and colors and a skill for teaching — what better than a quilt shop?” she says.

big enough to cover my batiked piece. I then used an old blanket we had for the middle. I put the three layers together.

Then using some yarn my mom had as leftover from her crocheting projects she did, I tied the quilt together. After that my mom bought me fabric and I made a quilt for her.”

Then, over the next 20 years, she tinkered with sewing projects “here and there” making pajamas for her girls and their friends for sleepovers and such.

As the girls got older, she started quilting again, mostly self-taught and with the help of a friend.

“Ten years ago, I decided to leave Oswego Industries — not having a clue to what I was going to do. I decided to open a quilt shop. Always wanting to do something in retail, loving fabrics and colors and a skill for teaching, what better than a quilt shop?!” she said.

“So it began. Ten years ago I rented a spot and opened the doors [of The Robin’s Nest Quilt Shop & More]. Selling fabrics and teaching classes,” she continued. “Two years later, I purchased [this] building and

continued on. I bought this building; I own the three floors. I have a rental up on the second floor. I had tenants for seven years and they just left. The third floor is just there; we’re not really doing anything with it.”

She teaches classes to disabled adults and individuals on a regular basis. She does classes; four or five people at the most — “run them just about daily, every day, all day long.”

With the disabled adults, they do quilt projects where they keep some and donate a lot to the community.

They have donated dog beds to the Humane Society of Oswego County, and quilts to The Vera House, the pregnancy center, Soldier On and many more.

“I worked with the disabled for many years. We did quilting — now they come here for classes. Thursdays is LIFE (Lasting Integration For Everyone). The whole concept is to integrate them with society. So one of the things they do is they come here on Thursday and they sew and then we either donate projects some place, that’s their community function in the whole program, or they get to keep it.

So usually we do one that they get to keep and then the next one we find some place that we want to donate to.”

Her students range from 7-87 years old.

Besides teaching, she offers long arm service, which is putting the three layers of the quilt together.

“I also do special order quilts, many of which are T-shirt quilts. These are usually for graduation, using their clothing from sports throughout school years,” she said. “Also a lot of them are quilts from [clothing of] a loved one who has passed, called memory quilts.

They have reported to me how much comfort they find in wrapping up in these quilts. They wrap themselves in the quilt and it’s comforting.”

Back in the day, they filled quilts with a lot of things.

“Some times, they had old wool blankets laying around and they’d use them to fill in the middle of the quilt,” she said, adding, “But even today’s quilts can get pretty heavy. We go to make our bed [with a quilt] and my husband goes ‘that’s a lot of weight.’

But a lot of people like it. They are even buying weighted blanket because they

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like the pressure of it.”

She uses modern sewing machines in her classes.

“Up in my front window, I had the old treadle machine. I used to have it set up on the floor so people could check it out and try it. I didn’t want it to get broken so I put it back up,” she said. “Some of the old machines — some of the ladies are going back to it because they just love the stitch that it does. They’re still good — it’s not easy to kill a sewing machine.”

She also had a large quilt, depicting several cute puppies, in her front window. “I had people come in asking if I sold dogs,” she laughed.

“I’ve got every thing from the old machines to the newer machines, fabrics and everything else you might need to make your quilt. When it comes to fabric, I might not carry it. I am a very small quilt shop compared to a lot of them, and there are some of them that are smaller than me. Some people come in and they are just buying fabric to go home and make their quilt,” she said. “Some people come in and they want a quilt, but they don’t know what they want — I’ve had people come in ‘just make me a quilt, I don’t care.’ But I’m not playing that game, let’s go through the fabrics and you at least pull me some fabrics and we will talk about design and stuff.”

Making a quilt is like putting together a puzzle, she said. “If you’re not a puzzle builder, you probably wouldn’t enjoy quilt making. There is a lot of math involved, too. But it’s fun!”

She gets quite a few repeat customers, “I get them from Oswego and Phoenix, Hannibal and Central Square. They come as far as Syracuse and more.”

Throughout the shop you will see some nests with four eggs in them and also on her logo. These represent her girls, she explained.

She gives special thanks to her husband, “who has had my back throughout this journey. He has listened to my worries, been my handyman, my cleaning staff and so much more,” she said.

She also acknowledged her girls “who have given me a helping hand whenever I’ve needed. To some close friends whom have volunteered their time and efforts to help me. And, certainly to my students and patrons — because without them there would be no Robins Nest.”

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gathering

MAKING THE HOLIDAY GATHERING EASIER

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

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f you’re not ready to completely hand over holiday hosting duties to your adult kids but feel like doing it all is nearly doing you in, you have options to make the gathering easier.

Planning should be your first step.

“I’m a proponent of making a list for a gathering,” said Sonja Vigneux, owner of Errand Angels in Liverpool.

“Purchase ahead of time what you can so it’s not last-minute.”

Knowing what you will need to buy and what you have on hand will make hosting easier. Cooking in advance can also help, such as making a few dishes or sides and freezing them so they only need reheating.

It’s also OK to delegate. Vigneux suggested asking attendees to each bring a dish.

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“You could hire services to do the shopping for you,” she added. “Even if you order things ahead, have someone pick it up for you.”

Planning and cooking a full, sitdown dinner—even with help—can result in a lot of work and clean-up efforts. Instead, you could plan a brunch with juice, coffee, and fancy pastries from a bakery. Or pick up sub sandwich platters and chips to lay out a casual lunch. Or soups and fancy breads and crackers.

Disposable place settings in holiday colors and prints can offer a festive touch without requiring hours of clean-up.

It’s OK to have some or all of the food catered. Your adult children will likely have their own traditional meal

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at their homes.

It’s fine to have something more casual, with an open house format.

Your adult children and grandchildren can feel free to come and go between a two-hour span, for example and help themselves to an appetizer and dessert buffet and visit a while. The open house format limits contact among any family members who do not get along well, since they can leave without making a big scene by leaving in the middle of dinner. It also helps families with young children who need to visit two sets of parents, stepfamilies and four sets of grandparents within a short holiday timeframe.

Don’t feel like you need to have a big to-do for entertainment.

“Put maybe one or two people

in charge of entertainment that doesn’t include football,” said Linda Ruckdeschel, owner of The Bridal Connection, an event planning business in Syracuse. “Whether putting a puzzle together or playing a simple board game, smaller kids would love to have something to do.”

You could also lay butcher paper and markers on a low table for the kids.

Play a family-friendly holiday movie nearby to keep the little ones busy so grown-ups can visit. Assign a teenaged grandchild to oversee the tots so their parents get some time off.

It can also help to designate someone to keep an eye on frail elders in the group to make sure they’re included in conversation, shielded from overly exuberant youngsters

and provided with what they want to eat and drink. Navigating a large, boisterous crowd can be intimidating.

The designated person should be ready to take the senior home when they’re ready to go.

Don’t overdo it while decorating.

If ladders are too tough to navigate safely, enlist someone else to outline the roof with lights. Or you could brighten your home with lights in the windows. Light nets are easier to toss over a small shrub than winding lights around the boughs.

“Consider buying a simple wreath for the front door with some decorative things they put on it or buy it premade,” Ruckdeschel said.

“Go with garland over a mantle with a couple festive candles or a nativity

scene. It doesn’t have to be exhaustive.

“Enlist the grandkids to help a day or two after Thanksgiving and offer some treats. They can have a little camaraderie. It might be a way to establish a tradition. There can be cultural influences they may not understand. It enhances family ties. It gives them something to take forward into their adult years they can remember. Kids can string lights and put things outside.”

Instead of going all-out decorating, you could also rent a facility. A church fellowship hall, lodge, enclosed park facility or hotel or restaurant meeting space can make your gathering easier as it’s already decked out. Plus, the space is set up for hosting groups and will be simpler to clean up.

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

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10 EASY GIFTS TO GIVE

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

D

o you have a lot of grandkids on your gift list? It can be hard to keep track of their sizes, interests and favorite things, especially if you do not get to see them often.

What they liked last year may be old hat this year.

Instead of guessing (or forking over cash), try these ideas for making gift giving easier this season.

“I’ve converted to giving gift certificates,” said Sonja Vigneux, owner of Errand Angels in Liverpool.

“I try to do them for an experience.”

Select an event the entire family can do together and choose an amount large enough to cover admission for the family. It’s not likely your 7-year-old grandson is going to drive himself there. Movie tickets, museum admission or event tickets are all good examples, but make sure it’s for a venue near where they live.

Most children are inundated with stuff and their parents are tired of it. Linda Ruckdeschel, owner of The Bridal Connection, an events business in Syracuse, said that her sister set a rule that gifts for her children should be usable or edible.

“You could give gift cards to restaurants or GrubHub,” Ruckdeschel said. “Kids love that. Ask the parents where the kids like to go eat.”

Again, ensure that the gift card 44

applies to where they live and that the gift card will cover the tab. Most restaurants list their menus and prices online.

Roy Thornton, owner of Royal Errands Service in Syracuse, suggested “a gift card for PlayStation or whatever system they have so they can pick out some games.”

It can be difficult to know what games they already have. Plus, their parents will have to oversee their selection. This ensures you don’t select something inappropriate or too babyish — the cardinal sin when buying kids gifts.

If you’re set on buying toys, “look at toys that they can play with outside, like sleds,” Thornton said.

You could pack a sled with snow tools like a snowman making kit, spray chalk (it works for sidewalks and snow), snow fort mold and fun new hats for the gang. A group gift like this fosters togetherness with children as they can play with them at once.

“There are a lot of board games they can play together,” Thornton added.

The boxes indicate the age for which they’re intended, which can help you choose appropriate games.

However, check with the parents first so you don’t buy one they already have.

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

Not A Good Idea What not to give your grandchildren

• Pets. Even if you have fully vetted the idea with your adult children, the holiday season is a rough time to bring most types of pets into a noisy, busy household.

Instead, wrap up a stuffed animal symbolizing the pet and include a gift card for a pet store for supplies and a note explaining that after the holidays, you’ll help them get their pet.

• Heirlooms (especially if they’re young children). Giving a 5-year-old an heirloom ceramic doll she cannot play with isn’t much fun for her.

Consider what your grandchild would rather do: admire a doll on a shelf or play with a doll.

Intangible items (especially if they’re young). As with the “future pet” gift, children want to open a physical object. A note saying you’ll take them somewhere this summer should have something physical is with it.

• Gag gifts. Unless they’re teenagers, gag gifts don’t go over well. And even teens have their limits.

• Clothing. Don’t give things like socks unless they have a fun novelty print. It’s likely your grandchildren have plenty of socks unless their family is facing extremely hard times. The exceptions about giving clothing are preteens and teens; they like expressing their own style but have limited funds. A gift card to a popular store or Amazon is the safest bet, as style and sizes change by the minute.

• Gifts they can’t use now. It sounds smart to give children tools they’ll use for life, but young children want to play with things this minute. So wait to give that socket set for when he’s 16, not when he’s 6, unless he can actually use it now.

• Things trending six months ago. By now, the fad has already passed. Ask your adult children if the grandchild still wants that thing he talked about last summer.

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holidays

Holiday Savvy: SURVIVE THE SEASON WITH YOUR FINANCES INTACT

By Kimberly Blaker

W

ith higher credit card interest rates, consumers will feel more of a pinch with holiday gift shopping this year. Throw in the costs of holiday cards, decorating, baking, holiday dinners and unplanned purchases, and holiday shopping can add up to a heap of change.

M a n y p e o p l e a re s e t b a c k financially for months, if not longer, following the holiday season.

One big reason for this is that credit cards make it easy to overspend, leaving individuals and families to suffer the consequences later. The problem with credit cards isn’t just the monthly payments. It’s the long-term cost from accrued interest.

So what can you do to ensure you start the new year without new debt?

First, create a holiday budget.

Include gifts, food, decorations and postage for holiday cards, wrapping supplies, and the babysitter for your shopping trip. Then review your list and decide where you can cut costs.

Gifts to extended family and friends are an excellent place to start.

Talk to those you exchange gifts with, and see if they’ll either forego the gift 46

exchange or set a dollar limit. Another option for families or groups is to draw names. This will reduce the number of gifts everyone has to buy. Doing a white elephant gift exchange is also a fun option.

Planning your gift budget based on value rather than the amount to spend on each person is also an excellent way to reduce your holiday expense. Decide in advance on a gift value for each gift recipient. Then look for great buys. Let’s say you’ve decided on a gift value of $50 for your sister. Now, try to find a gift that’s a $50 value but only costs you $30 or $40. If you have many gifts to buy, this can shave a lot of expense.

Do you usually send out more holiday cards than you receive? If so, opt instead for a phone call during the holiday season. This is particularly meaningful for those you don’t talk to often, and it won’t cost you a thing.

Another option is to only mail cards to those who send one to you.

Cut back on the baking. When’s the last time you heard someone complain of a shortage of holiday goodies? Probably never. Most of us eat far more than we’d like to just

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

because it’s there.

If you’re hosting any parties, hold potluck dinners instead of playing head chef. You could offer to provide the meat. Then ask everyone to bring a specific type of dish to avoid duplicates.

Eliminate your babysitting expense by exchanging babysitting with a neighbor — that way, each of you has the opportunity to shop without the kids.

Plan your shopping before you head out. Do online research to find the best deals on the items on your shopping list. If you can’t find a good deal on something, consider an alternative. Also, check newspaper fliers and the ‘coupon’ page of the store websites you plan to shop.

If possible, leave credit cards at home when you go shopping to avoid impulse purchases. Many people spend far more than they intend by purchasing irresistible spur of the moment bargains.

Finally, if you use your credit card, try to make a realistic plan to double or triple your monthly payments. This will reduce your interest expense and quickly eliminate your debt.

new year

RESOLUTIONS Why they fail and how you can succeed

By Kimberly Blaker

T

he New Year is a great time to take inventory, set goals and take charge of your life. But if you’re like most, making resolutions is much easier than keeping them.

Rather than focus on the idea of a new beginning, which can lead to disappointment at the first slip, keep in mind that self-improvement is an ongoing endeavor. Setbacks are not failures; they bring wisdom and insight for future success.

Before making a split decision on this year’s resolutions, make a list of goals and changes you’d like to make.

Then review your list, and cross off any you don’t feel genuinely devoted to.

Maybe you want to resolve to spend more time with your family, quit smoking or lose weight. You’re more likely to succeed if you feel a strong personal commitment rather than ‘I should.’

One reason people don’t keep resolutions they make is the resolutions are often made to silence the pestering of a loved one. If you decide to quit smoking to get your husband off your back, you’re less likely to succeed. If you choose to quit smoking to feel healthier and be able to enjoy physical activity without being winded, you’re

more likely to experience success.

Choose one or perhaps two of the resolutions on your list that you feel most committed to. Then choose one or two you feel confident you can do with ease. These last couple can be used as positive reinforcement for the more challenging first choices.

Next, make a clear plan for adhering to your resolutions. Put each resolution in writing, and write down the steps to achieve them. Let’s say your resolution requires a routine or schedule such as an exercise routine, a new diet, or steps toward completing your education. Create a goal chart, a detailed plan, and a checklist to track your progress.

Also, post notes in strategic places such as the refrigerator, bathroom mirror, or steering wheel as reminders of your resolutions with tips on how to overcome temptation.

Make sure your family understands the importance of your resolutions.

Family support and their positive reinforcement can be most helpful.

If your resolution is something your family has been nagging you about, ask for their encouragement. But explain that pressure and pestering, particularly during setbacks, could undermine your resolve. Determine how each family member can help

you to achieve your goal perhaps by taking on additional household chores or through affirmations of your continued success.

Adjust your environment to enable success. If eating healthier is your goal, don’t fill the cupboards with junk food for other family members. Find healthy snacks they’re willing to substitute. If you’re trying to quit smoking, avoid people, places, and things that remind or tempt you, at least until you have it well under control.

Don’t go it alone. If you have a friend with a similar resolution, make a pact. Work together to create a plan, and then make a point to check in with each other regularly for encouragement, praise, and support.

If you resolve to get more exercise, do it together. Having a commitment and someone to accompany you will go a long way in helping you succeed.

Finally, reward yourself, not just once you’ve achieved your goal, but periodically for your success so far. Small, periodic rewards can be motivation enough to keep you strong when you’re ready to throw in the towel.

Remember, whatever New Year resolutions you choose, success awaits you if you resolve never to give up trying.

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

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55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

SKANEATELES CELEBRATES 30 YEARS OF A DICKENS CHRISTMAS Jim Greene, 68, of Dryden, has played a lead role for more than 20 years

By David Figura

T

he popular Dickens Christmas in Skaneateles is celebrating its 30th anniversary this year.

An individual who has had a huge influence on the current theme and format is the event’s producer, Jim Greene.

Greene, 68, of Dryden, has played a lead role for more than 20 years.

He dresses up and plays the part of Charles Dickens and just loves the fact that the event is such “an organic, largely improv event. The fun part is you never know what’s going to happen. The whole thing is just joyful.”

Dickens Christmas in Skaneateles began this year on Nov. 24 and is slated to continue weekends through Dec. 24. The event, which each year draws an estimated 20,000 visitors to this small, Finger Lakes village, takes place mainly downtown. It is free to attend.

Greene said he wasn’t around when the event started in 1993. The credit for coming up with the idea goes to the late Karen Fultz, a village storeowner.

“She had been a retailer in Minneapolis, Minnesota. She and her husband moved here and opened Pomodoro, a successful gift shop in downtown Skaneateles,” Greene said.

“She soon observed winter was dead here (from a storeowner’s perspective) and that everyone was going to the malls to shop. Something needed to be done.”

Fultz suggested Skaneateles start a Dickens Christmas event, similar to one that she knew that had been a success in Minneapolis. She teamed up with Sue Dove, the executive director of the Skaneateles Area Chamber of Commerce at the time.

Dove succeeded in getting the stores,

the Merchants Association and the Skaneateles Foundation on board to financially support it.

The event started small and went on for seven years with the premise of a downtown scene that recreated London in the early 1840s, which was the time Dickens wrote his famous story, “A Christmas Carol.”

Greene, 68, born on Long Island and raised in Florida, is a seasoned a c t o r- p ro d u c e r w i t h 4 0 y e a r s of interactive theater experience, traveling around the country doing character and improv performances at Renaissance fairs, coupled with 15 years as a performer at Disney World.

He and his wife, Tracey, and their three children, moved to Upstate New York in 1999.

He started off working at the Renaissance Fair in Sterling and found out about the Dickens Christmas in Skaneateles from a friend. He worked at the 1999 Dickens Christmas event as a character — Emerson Wales, the rat catcher. It was a character that he performed for several decades at other Renaissance fairs.

He was approached afterward

by Fultz and Dove at a cast party and offered the job as artistic director to move things “to the next level” the following year.

First thing Greene remembers telling Dove and Fultz following their offer was that they “needed to write a bigger check” for the event. He said his plan was to “populate” the festival with a few pros “who could do a better job than the 35 people who didn’t know what they were doing.”

“I wasn’t being critical of the people who were doing it then. They were all lovely people doing their

DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024 – 55 PLUS

49

Jim Greene, 68, has played a lead role for more than 20 years best,” he said. “It’s just that I had been doing this kind of thing for years with the Renaissance festivals and at Disney.”

Greene succeeded in getting the event’s budget doubled and bringing on a few pros he knew to work with the event’s expansive group of amateur actors and volunteers, both young and old, who today receive token payments for their efforts.

Among those Greene hired was Maria DeMitchell, of Marcellus, who had extensive Renaissance fair experience as the fair’s queen and for years had trained many of the fair’s actors in interactive theater techniques.

DeMitchell, who has been involved with Dickens for more than 20 years, currently serves as its artistic director.

She oversees the auditions, held in mid-October each year. She runs the rehearsals for the cast and sets the tone of the whole performance for guests and performers. She also plays the role of Queen Victoria for Dickens.

“Jim is a great partner in this experience,” DeMitchell said. “His skill, his humor, the way he interacts with guests. He’s just been a real gem for the Dickens Christmas in Skaneateles.”

50

Greene also came up with a change to the initial premise behind the event.

“I found out Dickens was in Syracuse in 1842, the year before he wrote ‘A Christmas Carol.’ Skaneateles was here at that time. So, I came up with the premise that the event should be that Dickens visits Skaneateles, meets Ebenezer Scrooge and all the other characters and decides to write the story,” he said. “We added Queen Victoria (who never visited this country) and a few other characters to the mix. Bottom line, we’re actors, entertainers — not historians.”

With Greene’s direction and input, bolstered by the experienced actors he brought in to work with the cast, the event took off.

Asked if there were any funny experiences that stand out during his time with Dickens, Green laughed and said there were many.

“There’s one woman who for years and years has taken a picture of Dickens (me) and her small dog and used it for her Christmas card,” he said.

“And one year, we didn’t have a Tiny Tim. So, I arranged beforehand with a father to have his 4 ½-year-old son come up one day on the gazebo

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

during our 2 p.m. revels (sing-along) to pronounce Tiny Tim’s famous line: ‘God bless us, every one.’

Well, the boy got up on the gazebo, looked at me and said, ‘The geese are on the lake.’ Everyone laughed. I followed with, ‘Yes, the geese are on the lake and God bless them, every one.’”

Today, Dickens Christmas in Skaneateles is made possible with support from Howard Hanna Real Estate and Skaneateles area businesses.

Business owners in downtown Skaneateles are able to stay open during the winter thanks to the income generated during Dickens Christmas, according to Hilary Fenner, executive director of the Skaneateles Area Chamber of Commerce.

“It allows Skaneateles to be a fourseason destination,” she said.

“We’ve become a Christmas tradition for many people near and far,” Greene said. “All I know is that many people leave with a warm feeling and a smile on their faces. And when that happens, I know that I and the rest of the Dickens cast have done our jobs.”

MORE ON DICKENS CHRISTMAS IN SKANEATELES Dickens Christmas in Skaneateles features free roasted chestnuts and eggnog. It began this year the day after Thanksgiving and runs from noon to 4 p.m. every Saturday and Sunday through Christmas Eve. There is a limited show Christmas Eve from noon to 2:30 p.m.

Some 50 characters from “A Christmas Carol” and others from that time period dress up, stroll the downtown, interact with visitors, perform street theater and sing Christmas carols. Special “trunk” acting performances with the help of those attending are scheduled daily at 12:30 at the gazebo and 3 p.m. at the library. There’s also a popular sing-along, called the mid day revels, set for 2 p.m. each day at the gazebo.

The cast of characters includes Charles Dickens, Ebenezer Scrooge, Bob Crachit, Tiny Tim, Fezziwig, the Ghost of Jacob Marley, Father Christmas, a winter fairy, chimney sweepers, pickpockets and other villagers. Add to that, Queen Victoria and members of her entourage, along with American author Washington Irving, who reportedly was good friends with Dickens.

Horse-drawn carriage rides, for years a popular feature, were for various reasons only offered this year during the opening weekend.

Special Dickens-related events this year include Fezziwig’s Ball from 5 to 7 p.m. Dec. 10 at the Sinclair, 4357 Jordan Road, featuring English country dancing by the Syracuse Country Dancers.

Cost to attend is $20. Contact the Skaneateles Chamber for tickets.

Also,“A Christmas Story” radio show beginning at 7 p.m. Dec. 16 at Auburn Public Theater. Cost is $15 for adults, $12 for children younger than 12. Contact the chamber or APT for tickets.

For a complete schedule of all Dickens events, go to Skaneateles. com and click on “Dickens Christmas.”

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finances

Helping Grandchildren Financially Many grandparents want to leave a legacy behind to help their grandchildren

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

A

n inheritance gift of money may not be the best thing to assist your grandchildren long-term. Fortunately, other financial strategies can help your gift provide a lasting legacy that will benefit your grandchildren for many years to come.

“It always comes down to the goal: what are we trying to accomplish with a financial gift?” said Stephen Wisniewski, chartered retirement plans specialist and financial adviser with Equitable Advisors in Syracuse.

“If we really want to encourage higher education, then a 529 qualified — or tax-advantaged —tuition plan may accomplish that and provide some tax benefits as well.”

He also said that discussing gifts with a trusted financial adviser can 52

better ensure that the decision best fits your financial situation.

“Of course, a grandparent could also incentivize other types of savings, like encouraging funding a Roth Individual Retirement Account once their grandchildren earn income, or even simply helping fund a Uniform Transfer to Minor Account (UTMA)/ Uniform Gift to Minor Account (UGMA) while their grandchildren are minors,” he said.

He views these as an option to help grandchildren advance both financially and in the knowledge of finances regarding matters such as compound interest, the stock market, mutual funds and even mistakes you have made. You could also offer to match some of the grandchildren’s saving efforts.

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

“I think grandparents who are interested in supporting their grandchildren need to determine what is the best method of helping them,” said Randy L. Zeigler, certified financial planner and private wealth adviser with Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC in Oswego. “By that I mean what is in the best interest of that child?”

He added that paying for schooling each semester may demotivate some students. Working for scholarships, earning tuition money and borrowing some money may underscore the importance of studying.

“After successfully completing college, grandparents could always assist the student in paying down or paying off their loan balances,” Zeigler said. “By contributing in advance, the student may be decentivized from applying themselves and just waste the scholarship support and drop out of school when it gets difficult. By waiting to help this child, grandparents will not have thrown their hard-earned money away on an unmotivated child.”

He also suggested other contributions such as gifts to start a business, attend trade school or pay for big-ticket items like wedding

expenses or a first home downpayment may help, but “applying personal wisdom regarding each child’s needs, interests and motivations is the task of a thoughtful and loving grandparent.”

“Giving younger people too much money early in their lives can certainly be a demotivating decision or even worse, support their bad habits like chronic unemployment, gambling or drug or alcohol addictions,” Zeigler said.

Your adult children may have a better understanding of your grandchildren’s needs and how they may need help. It may seem fair to give the same amount to each child or grandchild. However, some may not need financial help. Talking frankly about your intentions can help your adult children understand your motivations.

Rob Rolfe, financial adviser at Harmony Financial Services in Oswego, advises giving without strings attached, such as if a grandchild wants money to start a business and the business fails. It’s vital to only give what you really can afford to lose and realize that the lessons learned in the

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business attempt may be the real gift.

“If you give someone $10,000 you can’t get it back because you don’t like what they’re doing,” Rolfe said. “The statistics of businesses starting and succeeding are far outpaced by those not succeeding.”

Grandparents can open a custodial account for grandchildren so that when the child turns 18 or 21, the money becomes theirs.

Paying for part of the tuition directly to the school rather than giving the grandchild a gift may be better for students who receive financial aid.

Rolfe said that gift doesn’t count as income and “it’s less money the kid has to borrow.”

Vicki Brackens, chartered financial consultant, financial planner and president at Brackens Financial Solutions Network in Syracuse, recommends looking into New York’s 529 college savings plans.”

“You’d help your grandkids and yourself because of the tax deduction,” she said.

New York’s 529 plan offers a means of saving, growing and giving money tax-free. The fund is earmarked

for college, but the grandchildren can reside and attend any accredited college or trade school in the US. Grandparents control the fund until the gift is complete when the grandchildren go to college. Unused funds may be rolled into a Roth IRA if the 529 has been open for 15 years. The funds grow tax-free as well.

Contributors to a 529 plan can receive up to a $5,000 tax credit for singles and $10,000 for a couple, regardless of the number of recipients.

“It also provides funding for the child for potentially qualified expenses for tuition and supplies and room and board,” Brackens added. “It can be in the account for only one day for the tax credits.”

The funds must be paid directly to the school or paid directly to a lender for student loan debt.

Brackens also said that if for some reason the grandchild doesn’t need the money, it can be transferred to any blood relative like a sibling or cousin with no tax implications. Even the child’s parents or grandparents can use it to go back to school.

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will

Complete Your Final Documents

S

poiler alert! No one makes it off planet Earth alive. To make this time easier for your loved ones left behind, get your final documents in order.

Randy L. Zeigler, certified financial planner and private wealth adviser with Ameriprise Financial Services, LLC in Oswego, said that financial documents should include a detailed will, health care proxy, durable power of attorney and sometimes living will documents.

“The documents are important, but the time spent with the attorney discussing one’s wishes is even more important to be sure that the lawyer truly understands your wishes and is able to then translate those wishes into appropriate and complete legal instruments,” he added.

He has found that most people focus on the documents and tend to neglect the details of their wishes for distributing their estate and choosing their executor, power of attorney and other designations. Zeigler also said that some attorneys overuse trusts 54

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

where a solid will may do.

Establishing these documents can help family members “so no one has to wonder what you want; it’s written right there and the family doesn’t have to make decisions,” said Rob Rolfe, financial adviser at Harmony Financial Services in Oswego.

Rolfe said that it’s also important to make sure the will and other documents are stored correctly such as in a home safe and deposited with an attorney instead of a safe deposit box at the bank.

“Put things on a ZIP drive and give it to the kids and lock it in a box at home,” said Rolfe. “Let them know where it is and where the key is. The odds are, you’ll get incapacitated.”

In addition to a will or trust — documents stating where your money will go — you’ll need documents related to who will make important decisions should you become incapacitated.

These are the healthcare proxy and the power of attorney designations.

The power of attorney documentation designates someone

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to handle your financial affairs.

“You need a power of attorney as you may become incapacitated and not be able to pay property taxes or the National Grid bill,” Rolfe said. “It’s a good idea to have a family meeting where you invite your out-of-town kids to come online or the in town kids to come into a meeting to learn the responsibilities for an executor and power of attorney. You can talk about what’s important to you.”

The persons you select for the healthcare proxy and power of attorney may be your spouse, an adult child, other relative, trusted friend or an attorney or other professional. Select and designate back-ups also.

“The power of attorney is one of the most important decisions that you may make regarding your finances because you are entrusting your resources to that individual,” said Vicki Brackens, chartered financial consultant, financial planner and president at Brackens Financial Solutions Network in Syracuse.

She advises considering the choice

based upon a few years’ review and consideration and not making an impulsive choice to ensure the person has your best interest at heart.

The healthcare proxy is a person you choose who will make healthcare decisions if you are unconscious or otherwise lack the ability to decide what steps to take in your healthcare, based upon your wishes.

The healthcare proxy and the person acting as power of attorney do not need to be the same person.

“You know your children; you know what they’re capable of,” Brackens said. “You need to make a choice that’s logical, not emotional.

Follow your head. Make sure everyone knows where the paperwork is.”

Your healthcare providers should have copies in your file and the person named should also have a copy.

Periodically, reexamine the documents and their designations to see if they still work. The son who now lives nearby may make a better healthcare proxy than the daughter who moved 1,000 miles away last spring.

“Updating your plan is critically important as life changes,” Brackens said.

Beneficiaries may change, as an adult child or grandchild experiences divorce or develops a gambling problem you don’t wish to finance.

Stephen Wisniewski, chartered retirement plans specialist and financial adviser with Equitable Advisors in Syracuse, said that delaying these decisions “is one of the biggest mistake people can make. We all feel healthy, until one day we don’t. When that day comes, it may be too late to spring into action and complete overdue financial documents. It’s not usually a free process to get these documents drafted and we certainly respect being conscientious with our money. But sometimes it is much more expensive to have not gotten these done, and it can be a fine line between too early and too late. Financial advisers are advocates for addressing these documents early and while in great health.”

Instead of viewing the planning as morbid, Wisniewski sees final planning as “one of the biggest gifts a parent can give to their children and grandchildren.”

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55

hobbies

Peter Kragh at the Field Days CW station at Camillus Ski Hill, 2023.

CW” stands for”Continuous Wave,” a type of transmission.

Amateur Radio: ‘A Hundred Hobbies in One’

By Carol Radin

“

It’s a hundred hobbies in one!” exclaimed Jerry Wright.

Wright and his fellow ham radio operators in the Radio A m a t e u r s o f G re a t e r S y r a c u s e experience all the fun and wonder of meeting people across the distance, as well as the more serious public service side of amateur radio communications.

It could be a simple signal contact with someone in a distant national park, directions for someone on the road, a contest to accumulate locations 56

or a team effort in crucial situations: Radio Amateurs of Greater Syracuse (RAGS) participates in monitoring community events like races and parades and several “hams” have come to the aid of first responder agencies during natural disasters.

Wright, 76, of Camillus, recalls the North Country ice storm and the Labor Day storm, both in 1998, two natural disasters when phone lines were down and licensed amateur radio operators were called on to park themselves

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in the local firehouses, set up their power sources and equipment and relay communications for community provisions and house-to-house needs.

Hopefully, hams will not be pressed into emergency service, of course. Nevertheless, ham radio operators view every individual communication and every equipment set-up as practice for any community demand that might arise.

Ever been to the Syracuse St. Patrick’s Day Parade? Or participated in a 5K or a marathon?

Your event runs smoothly not only because of the organizers, but because amateur radio operators are monitoring the routes.

Walter Bordett, 75, of Syracuse, explained that amateur radio operators in these events “provide eyes on the course, and help with safety and communication.”

RAGS member Dave Rice (front) and Doug Falcon (background) work with their grandchildren during AARL Field Days, 2023. An unlicensed operator may transmit over the radio if accompanied by a licensed amateur radio operator.

In the St. Patrick’s Day Parade, for instance, Doug Falcon, 75, said, “Every side street has five, 10 parade groups ready to go, and every side street has a radio operator. They need to know when to go. If halfway through, the Shriners [as an example] are not ready, operators have to relay that information along the route and the side streets. Ham radio operators are situated at the mayor’s grandstand, with the parade coordinator and, of course, are in communication with the police.”

Other annual events that RAGS members monitor are the Y-Triathlon at Green Lakes State Park, the Syracuse Workforce Run (formerly the Corporate Challenge, Onondaga Lake Park); Syracuse Chocolate Challenge at Onondaga Lake Park; the Myles Keogh Great Race in Auburn; and the Great NY State Marathon at Onondaga Lake Park.

People unfamiliar with amateur radio communications might ask, ‘Why not use cell phones?’

“Cell phones are one-on-one,” Falcon explained. “With ham radio, everyone hears what’s going on at the

Doug Falcon and his granddaughter, Rebecca Lloyd, at an AARL Field Day, Camillus Ski Hill in 2023. Rebecca learned everything about ham radio from her grandfather, and is now a licensed operator and the recipient of a RAGS college scholarship.

same time.”

Anyone who can visualize all the pieces that go into a safe and successful mass people movement with start and end points, water tables, bathrooms, first aid, etc. can see how any one glitch could impact the route.

Both Falcon and Bordett put their skills to the test for perhaps the most stressful national event of the 2000’s: the bombing of the World Trade Centers when cell phone communication was down and regular phone service was knocked out.

“Every agency had hams at both ends,” Falcon recalled.

He was assigned to the 9-1-1 Control Center in Poughkeepsie, where he lived at the time. The center had set up radios and a power source in the ham radio room, so the hams didn’t have to bring an ounce of their own equipment. Hams relayed agency needs and individual needs on the air and communicated with medical personnel and fire departments. They facilitated delivery of supplies like blankets, gauze and water, and even arranged transport for responders reporting to work or going home.

Bordett, a biomedical engineer at Syracuse’s Veterans’ Administration Medical Center at the time, worked here in Syracuse, covering backup communications in case any casualties were triaged to local hospitals. From day 10 through 14 of the crisis, he was with a team of three other local hams who went down to New York to assist with the shelters opened to house people displaced by the damage.

All hams who serve in emergencies and in public service are volunteers and licensed by Federal Communications Commision. To participate in public service during emergencies, they go through extensive training with NIMS, the National Incident Management System, which is administered by the Federal Emergency Management Agency.

It’s Not All Serious Though ham radio communication has its serious side in community emergencies, it also has a lighter side.

One-on-one communication with individuals around the world, as well as contests to tally the most contacts,

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57

RAGS ham Amir Findling at a POTA (Parks On The Air) activation on a beautiful autumn day in Klondike State Forest near the Oswego County town of West Monroe in 2022. are some of the more fun activities.

One of Wright’s favorite activities is “Parks on the Air,” or POTA. He and fellow RAGS ham, Peter Kragh, do frequent outings to state parks and forests, where they set up their own power source and equipment, pick up a frequency, and reach out for hunters — not animal hunters, but hunters listening for radio contacts.

The message can be a simple “hello,” or just a handle on how strong the connection is, and then Wright and Kragh get credit in their “hunter logs.”

Radio transmission is only possible from state or federal land, and each park has a POTA-assigned number.

So national parks are POTA territory!

Wright said that some people “collect” parks in a certain region or around the country. He has hunted 1,050 contacts. Other programs include SOTA, Summits on the Air, for people who hike up registered mountains and IOTA, Islands on the Air. Aside from the fun, programs like POTA encourage hams to get out and set up their equipment in remote areas — again good training for public and emergency service events. “Field days” accomplish that, too.

Linda Jackson, another RAGS member, describes the field days as 58

two-day emergency practice sessions.

Ham operators set up emergency power sources, which could be generators, their own batteries or even solar power. One example of a trial run might be to practice setting up their antennas during inclement weather. RAGS’ annual Winter Field Day is scheduled for Jan. 27 – 28, 2024; Summer Field Day is always the last full weekend in June.

Jackson, 75, from North Syracuse, got hooked on amateur radio communications by her husband, Bob. An educator who is certified in special education, Jackson relied on amateur radio communications when she was on the road doing site visits at schools in all kinds of weather and sometimes in the dark.

“I always knew if I got lost in a strange school district, I could contact someone,” she said. “I had a number of times when the person on the other end stayed on the line until I got on the right path. Some people kind of ‘adopt’ me.”

Amateur radio communication also came in handy during the COVID-19 pandemic when Jackson and her husband stayed put in Florida.

“We couldn’t gather, but we could communicate,” she said.

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One way to perk up their days was to play a game of contacts on a golf course.

“A couple got on a golf cart, changed frequencies, and you could hunt for them and get points for picking them up in different frequencies,” she said.

Joe Coppola also enjoys the dayto-day communications with others.

From his home in Fayetteville, he has reached out to people as far as North Africa; what he finds is that many people are “just like us!” What do they talk about? Their location, equipment, the ever-interesting weather, or perhaps a community service project. Never politics or religion. The Code of Federal Regulations’ section on amateur radio operations strongly discourages religious and political discussions, and also strictly prohibits business-related content and commercial activity and advertisements.

Coppola, 75, is new to ham radio and took the test for the license because he was looking for a mental challenge more than anything else. A retired engineer, he had been interested in radio and electronics since childhood.

He earned his “Extra Class” license in 2022. Test prep materials are provided by the national American Radio Relay

League.

Coppola also likes the Hamfests, which are large flea market-type fairs where people browse for equipment.

RAGS holds an annual Hamfest every summer. The cost of equipment varies, of course. A hand-held, basically a walkie-talkie like the ones used to communicate in a parade or race, costs about $20 and can transmit 5 to 10 miles. A high-frequency transceiver costs about $200. Coppola’s transmitter is 100 watts. In the U.S. the maximum legal power limit is 1,500 watts.

What about the younger generation?

Though the internet and cell phones have superseded good old radio communications, RAGS members continue to see interest among youth.

All four of Falcon’s grandchildren got hooked on amateur radio communication. Three of them now have their licenses and the fourth is applying.

Falcon said the three generations of family have communicated with handhelds from car to car or corner to corner during family vacations.

Jackson tells how her 7-year-old granddaughter was fascinated for a time by the morse code that Jackson tried to teach her. (Morse code was once required, but the requirement was dropped 20 years ago.)

The RAGS organization offers a scholarship for qualified high school graduates enrolled in college. Recently, they awarded three scholarships.

The national AARL even runs two “Kids Days,” in January and in June, to promote interest and onthe-air experience for children. And locally, a search on the website for Syracuse’s Museum of Science and Technology describes the MOST’s very own radio station and offers links to the possibilities for ham radio communication.

Amateur radio transmission actually seems a natural for capturing new hobbyists in all generations.

Amateur radio operators can bridge long distances, meet faraway people and assist behind-the-scenes in important ways.

The possibilities truly capture the imagination.

Linda Jackson holds her hand-held radio, which was essential for her when she used to drive around the state doing site visits to schools for her work with special needs education.

Joe Coppola in his basement radio room. A retired engineer,he earned his amateur radio operator’s license in 2022.

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59

Fat biking

TRY SOME OFF-BEAT WINTER ADVENTURES

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

S

kating, skiing, sledding: if you’ve lived in Upstate New York for a few winters or more, you’ve done them all. If the typical winter activities have worn as thin as your 20-year-old mittens, try these more unusual adventures.

Curling

Zipline riding

Whether participating just for a day or for a season-long team membership, curling is a challenging winter sport. The ancient Scottish team sport combines elements of bowling and shuffleboard on a sheet of ice. Players try to advance their teammate’s “stone” towards the goal by sweeping a clear path on the ice. The opposing players take turns throwing their stones towards the goal with a side objective of knocking out opponents’ stones. Utica Curling Club in Whitesboro (315-7361724, info@uticacurlingclub.com) can help you learn more and get involved.

Although ziplines are spectacular for leaf peeping, they’re also a fun way to soar through the sparkling winter mountain scenery. While securely strapped into a safety harness, zipline riders get a bird’s-eye view, along with the adrenaline rush of flying through the treetops. At Bristol Mountain Aerial Adventures in Canandaigua (https:// bristolmountainadventures.com) ride seven ziplines measuring a total of more than 5,000 feet.

At Greek Peak Mountain Resort (www.greekpeak.net), guests can take a two-line ziplining tour that lasts approximately two hours.

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55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

Av i d c y c l i s t s o r e v e n occasional cyclists don’t have to forgo pedaling for the winter. Fat bikes are made to accommodate tires about 4” wide. They provide better grip on the ice and offer improved traction. They’re also good for sand and mud and softer mountain biking trails, so it’s not just a “winter bike.” Check out Murdock’s Bicycles & Sports in Oswego (315-342-6848); Syracuse Bicycle in Syracuse (315446-6816); Advance Cyclery in Syracuse (315-449-2453); Mello Velo Bike Shop and Café in Syracuse (315307-3104); Bike Loft in Syracuse (315-458-5260); and Cuse Cycle in Liverpool (315-453-6718).

Ride fat bikes anyplace open to bicycling, from bike lanes to trails.

Mountain coaster and bobsled riding In your day trip or weekend a t M o u n t Va n H o v e n b e r g in Lake Placid (https:// mtvanhoevenberg.com), don’t forget about the mountain coaster and bobsled rides. The mountain coaster follows the path of the 1932 and 1980 bobsled path. The Bobsled Experience (open select times throughout the winter) also offers a thrill akin to those of Olympic athletes skimming along the bobsled track at speeds of more than 50 mph.

Dog sled Traverse the ice and snow in classic style on a dog sled tour.

Naturally, rides are weatherpermitting and should be booked in advance. Adirondack Kennel near Sandy Creek (https:// adirondackkennel.weebly.com) provides short rides. Thunder Mountain Dog Sled Tours in Lake Placid (www.facebook.com/ thundermtdogsled,) provides dogsled rides across the glassy surface of Mirror Lake in Lake Placid, as does Mike Arnold Dog Sled Rides (518-323-7622).

Ice fishing

VOLUNTEERING IS GOOD FOR YOU!

R ERFO TE N OD U! LU O O O G Y V IS

Even if you’re not an angler during the warmer months, ice fishing can offer another reason to get outside during the winter.

Ice fishing spots abound in the CNY area (www.dec.ny.gov/ outdoor/7936.html). Of course, ice fishing requires dressing in layers, starting with a moisturewicking layer that’s not cotton and ending with a moisture proof layer, as with any other outdoor activity. But it’s also vital to wear cleats to improve stability and to bring extra pairs of gloves to always have a dry pair available.

Ice should be a minimum of four inches thick for walking safely. For driving a snowmobile or ATV, it must be 5 inches. Vehicles require 8-15 inches.

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61

life after 55

By Michele Bazan Reed Email: bazanreed@hotmail.com

Rituals Enrich Our Lives

A

bout 11:30 each evening, my cell phone pings. It’s my daughter, Katie, a continent away in Southern California.

“Wordle? Say go,” the text reads.

“Go!” I reply.

And so begins our nightly ritual.

We play the popular word game, where you guess a five-letter word in six tries or less, racing head to head, to see who can get it quicker or in fewer clues. (Katie always wins, since she types faster than I do, and guesses with reckless abandon, while I ponder each guess, mulling it over before committing to it).

Then we’re on to Quordle (guess four words on a quadruple grid, in only nine guesses) and Sequence (Quordle but you have to guess each word before the next grid is revealed).

We follow up our gaming with a quick check in — anything happening since our afternoon phone call — and then sign off with the same phrases 62

and emojis every night.

It’s a ritual, faithfully executed, that signals the end of the day and the time for bed.

Merriam-Webster tells us a ritual is a ceremonial or religious act, but also it’s “an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set precise manner.”

And mindfulness gurus tell us these ritual acts can give structure and meaning to our lives.

For most Americans that first cup of morning coffee is a ritual. As we prepare the coffee, inhale its bitter and complex aroma, and set about adding whatever sugar and cream we prefer, it signals to us the beginning of our day.

Whether we hurriedly gulp it down, pour it into a to-go mug or savor it over the morning weather forecast or the news of the day, it wakes us up and prepares us to face the day ahead.

My late husband, Bill, raised the coffee production ritual to an art form. First, he would grind the day’s

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beans, carefully chosen at the store or a specially selected roaster. Then he’d boil fresh water in the electric kettle before combining the two in the insulated stainless steel French press.

When a timer went off after the precise minutes for perfect coffee, he would depress the plunger on the cafetière and call me as I grabbed a few last moments of sleep. He’d use the same pattern of words each morning. I’d appear and we’d savor a perfectly prepared cup of coffee together while we read the New York Times and other papers on our phones and discussed the main stories.

Everyday rituals like this make up the fabric of our lives. Experts say they reinforce our shared bonds.

And solo rituals, like greeting the day with a routine of yoga poses, closing our laptop and shutting off the lights at the workday’s close or curling up with a book and cup of tea at day’s end, give comfort and add meaning to

our daily lives.

But there’s that other definition of ritual, involving religious rites and ceremonies. We bring the element of ceremony into our homes this time of year, when we light the menorah, decorate the Christmas tree or prepare the Kwanzaa feast.

Food is an important part of all the rituals this time of year, whatever your heritage.

I’m of Polish heritage and so my family grew up with the Polish traditions, a legacy we handed down to our children.

The Christmas Eve feast — Wigilia or vigil— is the main celebration, and begins at dusk when the first star appears. The youngest child is set to watch for it and announces the star’s appearance to start the feast. It’s still Advent so it is a meatless meal.

Growing up, I remember the feast at my grandparent’s farm, with a table for the adults and a small one for us kids. We would feel so grown-up when Grandma (Babcia in Polish) allowed us for this one special night a tiny glass of the cloyingly sweet Mogen David wine, and we scrambled at meal’s end to be the first to grab the crusciki or angel’s wings, bowties of pastry dough, deep fried and dusted with powdered sugar.

When Bill and I married, we passed the tradition on. We’d pile the serving dishes high with pierogi, 12-fruit compote and mushroom casserole. Katie prepares her special poppy seed bread. And traditionally, the Polish feast includes a fish dish.

As a newlywed, I scoured Polish cookbooks for fish recipes and poached pike in court bouillon or broiled salmon as the main dish. Then the kids came along and wouldn’t eat that stuff, so we developed our own ritual — fish sticks! So even though they are grown, we retain the ritual, with fish sticks from the freezer section (and “fishless” sticks for vegetarian Katie), served up in special Polish pottery dishes alongside the more traditional fare.

What are your holiday rituals?

And the daily rituals that give meaning to your life?

Let’s make a resolution to enrich our lives with comforting daily routines and pass on the rites and rituals of our own cultural heritage to a new generation during the new year.

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63

druger’s zoo

By Marvin Druger Email: mdruger@syr.edu

Technological Breakthroughs

T

alking to a real person on the phone is difficult nowadays.

Yesterday, I spent several hours on the phone trying to get assistance from customer service at a local store.

The experience was frustrating and it reminded me of the time I wanted to contact Larry, a colleague in the biology department at Syracuse University.

I sat in my office and composed a lengthy email. Suddenly, I realized that Larry’s office was next door to mine. So, I abandoned the computer and walked next door to deliver my message in person. Such interactions in person have become increasingly uncommon.

We have all experienced this phenomenon. I used my imagination to imitate and alter what all of us have heard on the phone:

“Thank you for calling Marvin Druger. You can now purchase hearing aids at a much higher price with lower quality. You can get a hearing test free at your local supermarket. If you can’t hear this message clearly, please see 64

your doctor immediately.

If you actually want to speak to Marvin, please stay on the line after you press all the buttons. He may or may not want to speak to you.

If you can hear this message, it will be recorded for quality control and to annoy you. Please stay on the line at the end of this call for a long survey.

The results will be reported to the FBI. I am definitely a robot. Now what?

Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system.

777-777-777-777-777 is not available and never was. Leave a message and an automated robot will call you back in a few weeks.

Please choose from the following options: • For English, press 1. For other languages, please hang up and start over again.

• If you want to give me money, press 2.

• If you know your party’s extension, you may press it now. If not, tough luck.

• If you want to hear terrible music while you wait, press 3.

• If this is a true medical emergency,

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hang up and call a real doctor, or call your mother or father.

• For any stupid comments that you want to make, please stay on the line.

• Our representatives are currently busy helping other confused customers.

Your call is very unimportant to us.

Please stay on the line and your call will be answered out of order whenever our representative gets a chance. You are 50th in line. If you want to waste your time waiting, please stay on the line or leave your message, name, address, phone number and Social Security number. We will call you back in about a month.

• Nobody is available to speak to you. Please hang up and call during regular business hours. Goodbye!”

If you can finally get a real person to speak to, that person doesn’t speak English well. The agent often has a heavy accent and you can’t understand a word. One day, I called customer service at an airline in the U.S. I could not understand what the agent was saying and I kept asking him to repeat things. In despair, I finally asked him: “Where are you located? He replied, “Oh, I’m in the International Space Station.”

This is no way to communicate, especially for the over-55 population.

I have a master’s degree and a Ph.D. in science. Yet, I am totally befuddled by modern technology. I suppose that I could learn to be more proficient with technology, but I am not interested in technology. I use it only when necessary.

Facebook is a commonly used technology. I almost never use Facebook. Much of what is posted is trivia and I’m not really interested in learning about the fifth grandchild of my former secretary. I have a lot of “friends” on Facebook, but I’m really not their friend.

Sometimes we are asked to identify a few undecipherable letters on the computer for verification purposes.

We may also be shown a bunch of boxed areas and asked to check all those boxes that show parts of a horse’s rear end.

Because of the COVID-19 pandemic, many people now work remotely from home. Business meetings are via Zoom. I taught more than 50,000 students in my career and people often ask me how modern

students differ from former ones.

The answer is clearly “technology.”

Every young student is familiar with technology and texting. Social media is the mode of communication. It may be helpful for people to be familiar with the latest technologies, but do they have to use it incessantly?

Would the world survive if a sudden catastrophe wiped out all the computers? What if there were no WIFI and internet? What would happen if everyone had to have a face-to-face meeting to communicate?

To me, using the computer and learning to use all the jargon is very difficult. I mainly use email and Word.

Apps are foreign to me. I am always making disastrous mistakes on the computer. It’s very frustrating when pressing the wrong button causes my writing to disappear from the screen and become unrecoverable. When my grandchildren tell me how to operate the computer, I quickly forget what they told me.

Using technology for everything cannot be turned off. New “improvements” are made every day and this trend will continue in the future.

My car is so computerized that it can do almost anything. Every day, I find some computerized feature of the car that I never knew existed.

The voice on my GPS has become my friend. I frequently hear her say, “Recalculating,” especially when I am driving at night. I often speak to her when I’m driving to ask for her advice. So far, she hasn’t responded to my queries.

The over-55 generation will be especially affected by all the new devices and we will be left in the dust as technology progresses. I suspect that most over-55 people feel the same way about technology that I do. Yet, some elderly people cannot only cope with technology but thrive on it. I envy those individuals, but I don’t really want to be one of them.

Civilization is moving closer to becoming robots. Artificial intelligence is here, with all of its pros and cons. It is difficult enough to explain regular intelligence and artificial intelligence will take us to new heights or depths.

Let’s try to preserve some of the benefits of living in a traditional world.

Maybe our ancestors were not so dumb after all.

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65

last page

By Mary Beth Roach

directory for our parish. He said that ‘this is nice, but I don’t see anything that’s taking us outside the walls.’

And I pointed out this sandwich ministry and I thought that that was going to check the box. He said, ‘Tell me about the men who are eating the sandwiches that you made. You tell me you’re feeding the homeless.

What are some of their names? Tell me some a little bit about these men that you’re feeding.’ We had never met them because the sandwiches were being picked up. I was embarrassed, but I knew at that moment I needed to be doing something different. He challenged me to use that ministry as a stepping stone to finding a way to bring this parish community out into the community.

Q: How long has the Emmaus ministry been in effect?

A: That was back in 2009 and that was as part of the parish outreach ministry.

We incorporated in 2016. As a result of the many things, we wanted to do more and provide a place of hospitality.

The church was not going to be able to fund that for us, and so incorporation was a logical next step for us.

Sheila Austin if the executive director of Road to Emmaus Ministry of Syracuse, located on Syracuse southside at 127 E. Glen Ave., Syracuse. The organization provides food, medical and dental and other services to people.

Sheila Austin, 69

Executive director of Road to Emmaus Ministry of Syracuse talks about the organization’s mission to help others Q: What is the biblical reference to Emmaus?

A: When Jesus rose from the dead, he walked along the road to the town of Emmaus and he encountered two of his disciples. They did not recognize Christ as they knew him before. He appeared differently as the resurrected Christ. They continued on this walk and ended up gathering together to have a meal and break bread. It was in that ceremonial of breaking that bread that they recognized that it was indeed Christ who they had known before.

How I relate that in this work we do here — we often don’t recognize Christ in each other. We can be engaged with our guests in this community, but unless we’re looking for Christ in each 66

other, then we’re missing the boat.

That’s basically why we are here. We use the corporal works of mercy and the spiritual works of mercy as our guidepost.

Q: How did you get involved?

A: This obviously was a plan that I feel God had for me. It was through my experience of going back to church after having been away for some 30 years and just trying to find out how you do that. I ended up at St. James. A new pastor had this vision of outreach. How do we bring the presence of Christ to people outside of our brick-and-mortar? I met with him, having finished the ministry

55 PLUS – DECEMBER 2023 / JANUARY 2024

Q: Talk about the newest evolution of the program and your role in that.

A: As we were being able to take care of the food needs of our guests in the midst of COVID-19 — we’re now feeding tens of thousands of meals a year — I started to do an informal survey. I’m a nurse. I was asking them about their healthcare. ‘Do you have a doctor? Do you have insurance? Do you have access to that doctor? How do you get to your appointments?’

Questions about dental services. The dental piece was far less available to our guests. I thought maybe this is the next thing we need to start to address. I reached out to some dentists from Holy Cross [in Dewitt] because we have a significant relationship with Holy Cross. We met and I said ‘I know we have some free clinics closer to the city, but what would you think if we had one down here?’ I said ‘If we create the space, will you come and volunteer?’

‘Absolutely.’ We officially opened in August of 2022. It’s going very well.

Q: How many hours do you volunteer here?

A: I’m here six days a week, from 6:30 a.m. until usually 4:30 or 5 p.m.

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