Seven Days, January 22, 1997 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE fflMlDfill In Melbourne;. Australia,

I am not making them eat

jockey A ndrew ' '

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Payne, 17, started the Christmas Handicap aboard Hon Kwok Star. He finished the race riding Cogitate. Jockey Jason Patton, Paynes brother-in-law, was thrown from Cogitate when the two horses slammed together on the final turn. As Patton crashed to the turf, Hon Kwok Star tossed Payne sideways toward the now-vacant saddle of Cogitate. “My hands land ed on the other saddle and I just pulled myself up,” Payne said. “When I looked up and saw where I was I couldn’t believe it.”

mg them into her home, handfeeding them and training them to behave on leashes. Although the birds generally raise patients’ spirits, Lundy said they have to be passed around in flat boxes because “unlike

BRAINSTORMS

other animals, you can’t housebreak chickens.” • Concerned about gum discard ed all over town, Ana Fernandez, Conservative councilor for womens affairs in Aviles, Spain, proposed the formation of a “chewing gum brigade” to scrape off all the gum. What’s more, she suggested all members of the brigade should be women, hired part-time to give them some thing “useful” to do. When the Socialist opposition derided her proposal as an “assault on the dignity o f the town’s women,” Fernandez was stunned. “What

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♦ Aurora, Illinois, undertaker Terry Dieterie unveiled his Heirloom Pendant Collection at last falls National Funeral Directors Convention. Priced from $1900 to $10,000, each locket in the collection holds a small amount of ashes or a snip of hair from the departed, according to Dieterie, who noted, “The trend in personalizing the death expe^ rience is something we’ve seen grow over the last 10 years.”

SUGAR COATED A Dutch rubber factory began producing water beds for cows. The water-filled rubber mats cost $175 each. “It is good for a cow to lie comfort ably,” Ton Broere, a salesperson at the Dunlop-Enerka factory in Drachten, told the daily De Voilkskrant. “Then she will pro duce more milk.” ♦ Pet therapist"Darrian Lundy switched from dogs to chickens for her therapeutic sessions at health-care facilities in Riverside County, California, explaining, “It gets people talk-

The attorney defending accused burglar Wesley Shaffer, 57, in West Palm Beach, Florida, argued that his client broke into the home and stole $ 3 0 , 0 0 0 in jewelry because he was driven mad by high blood sugar levels from eating cotton candy the night before the burglary. The court rejected the claim by defense attorney Richard Dedell and sentenced Shaffer to nearly six years in prison.

IN THE NICK OF TIME In introducing the Flatulence Filter Seat Cushion,

I, b u ta iv u i, ' .> tish University' / ; research shows increase in can cer from bre

to them and tended to opt for answers that seemed easy or obvious. The glum were less confident, looked deeper and found far more creative solu tions.

’ A Japanese company called Dairin announced development of a drug, called “Etiquette SOMETHING FISHy View,” that stops feces from A picturesque lake in the smelling. The manufacturer Chicago suburb of Glen Ellyn, said the drug, which is made Illinois, is being choked by from natural ingredients, could goldfish apparently dumped benefit health care workers by their by pet owners. Glen Ellyn deodorizing the waste of Park District officials said the bedridden patients. But lake had no goldfish five years Susumu Oda, a professor of ago but now has 350,000 of psychiatry at Tsukuba the fast-reproducing fish. University told the M ainicht • Human waste dumped into Daily News he is concerned the environment can cause sex about the possible social conse changes in wildlife, according quences of the pills, which cost to Dutch researchers at the about 35 cents each. Noting TN O-Nutrition and Food many Japanese already are Research Institute in Delft. obsessed with eliminating dirt After they exposed carp to a and foul odors, he said, “I chemical found in sewage, the wouldn’t want to see young sex organs atrophied in the people have easy access to males and some developed an them.” oviduct, which female fish use to lay eggs. Researcher Sylvia GLUM IS GOOD Gimeo said the chemical is Unhappy employees work responsible for feminizing ani better than happy ones, accord mals, including fish and alliga ing to a study at Oslo’s tors, and other researchers sus Norwegian College of Business. pect the same effect could be Psychology professor Geir causing declining fertility Kaufmann said cheerful test among human males being subjects overestimated their reported in some European own ability, underestimated the cities. □ complexity of problems posed

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SEVEN DAYS AP * J * '*

January \

22, /

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1997

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MISSED T H E MADNESS Bravo for reviewing small time psycho Joshe Henry (Sound Advice, December 18). The only problem is that you’re in another universe. O f course there is nothing wrong with this except that you won’t under stand the attempts of the music and the words, that “falling short of wry humor” is not a mistake, as I don’t think Joshe is attempting such a “Kochalkian” task. He is just tapping in to his delirious, schizophrenic uncon sciousness and displaying all the wonders that lie therein. — “Snoman” Burlington GO, OFFENSE I have been amused by the attacks on Peter Freyne since his jugular ambush of Susan Sweetser, and I must say in his defense: Go for it, you old scur rilous sot. Our media environ ment up here in God’s country is so sanitized, so polite, so damn afraid of offending, I say thank God there’s still a Freyne around. Someone’s got to sour the sacred cows’ milk. — Jim Higgins Plainfield

G O O D REPORTING Ah, yes, the “debate” rages on about whether Peter Freyne deserves or doesn’t kudos in his area of specialty. As Vermonters take offense at his politicizing of personalities and exposure of tender moments, I will continue to use his column to remind myself with that many of the items people moralistically deride as intrusive and petty often constitute official political happenings on many levels. While dishing the dirt about exactly whom Susan Sweetser had an affair with may not match Vermonters’ ideas of Pulitzer-Prizewinning journalism, it serves to perpetuate and remind us of the type of reporting that brings us engaging, poignant political criticism, like which Democratic higher-up had which body part pleasured by which prostitute. In fact, I’d have to say that, on this note, Peter Freyne does a very good job of replicating national media quality, good and bad. Largely, when people denounce this kind of writing not enticing to “paragons of virtue,” they hold in their minds some pristine image of news report ing, some sort of idealistic, surreal icon I consid

er a badge of toolhood. That js to say, if you don’t know the tales of the investigation of Food Lion and Dateline NBC’s news-creating fiascoes and realize that these ate more often covered up than discovered, you deserve whatever news is spoon-fed to you. If you don’t see that Freyne’s mocking, often sardonic tone is deservedly attitudinal, maybe you ought to follow the figures in question around for awhile and see how you do. — Jeffrey Nelson Burlington FREYNE MORE THAN SATIRE I met Peter Freyne at the [Paul] Teetor trial, and since his ‘Terminator’ dub for one of my favorite lawyers (Ritchie Berger), I have wanted to write and tell Seven Days how I enjoy his political humor. In fact, I copied his Althea [Kroger] column, too, for out-of-town friends, after laughing out loud! The bitter letter by Mr. [S.P.] Fay (Weekly Mail, December 30/January 8) about his columns led me to write, now! Keep up the excellent writing. The story of Freyne’s dad and Michael Collins was poignant; he’s clearly not only a satirist. Has Mr. Fay not read Twain, or others who have enabled humankind to laugh at itself? On another note, I am sorely disappointed that I can’t find Seven Days in the Barre area, and must rely on remembering to go in to Main Street News in Montpelier to pick it up... — Judy Miles Barre D O N ’T TRADE FREYNE Just a message of appreciation for the fine work. Also, a reaction to another reader’s com ment (Weekly Mail, December 18) to trade Peter Freyne for anyone! Don’t do it. Freyne is the best political observer of the Vermont scene in any medium, and a credit to Seven Days. Thanks, too, to the Freyne man for the cov erage of Susie Creamcheese’s marriage dissolu tion. Where else but Seven DayA — Bill Powell Plainfield Letters Policy: SEVENDAYSwants your rants and raves, in250 words or less. Letters should respond to content inSeven Days. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVENDAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT05402-1164: lax: 865-1015 e-mail: sevenday@together.net

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MIDD LIFE CRISIS? A running fe u d over land-use issues and expansion has strained the relationship between M iddlebury College and the com m uni ty it calls home By S a l l y

J o h n s o n ............... .................................................................................

page

MOUNTAINS AND MEDICINE Charlie Houston reflects on a life a t the top o f the world By

Kevin

K e l l e y .............................................« . .....................................p a g e

ALL ABOUT ALVAREZ Books: A review o fflo \ by Julia Alvarez By

Paula

R o u t l y .....................................................................................................p a g e

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ROTTEN Childrens author Jack Gantos points his pen a t adults By J a y

Ki r k ....................................................................................................................p a g e

O UTDO O RS

SHOW AND TELE B ill Butler fin d s a new way to go dow nhill By D a v i d

page

H e a l y ...........................................................................

DEFYING GRAVITY Art: A review o f Jerome Couelle

By Anne Galloway.....................................................................page 32

departments

news q u i r k s ........................................................ page 2 w e e k l y m a i l .................................................... page 3 exposure ..............................................- - page 3 s t r a i g h t d o p e .................................................... page 4 inside track .............................................. page5 bac ktalk ............................................................... page 6 sound advice .................................................... page 8 calendar .................................................................... page 16 art li s t i n g s ......................................................... page 22 tube fed .....................................................................page 24 talking pictures ..............................................page 25 real as tro l og y ................................................... page 26 c l a s s i f i e d s ...............................................................page 26 greetings from dug nap .............................page 26 wellness d i r e c t o r y ................................... page 28 health q&a ............................................................... page 28 p e r s o n a l s .....................................................................page 30 l o l a , the love counselor . . . . page 30

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1997

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N EPTU N E

is n o w b e in g s e r v e d a t M ir a b e lle s . J o in u s f r o m 2 :3 0 - 5 :3 0 p m d a ily f o r a r e a l p o t o f te a a n d an a sso r tm e n t o f fin e p a s tr ie s .

M IR A B E L L E S A t

The bottom of Neptune Lake, eh? Sounds to me like pops has spent too much time looking at the bottom of a beer glass. Then again, why not North Dakota? Just about every other spot on the globe has been spoken for by the zillions of would-be Atlantis discov erers. Its said that more than 20,000 books have been written about the lost island (it was more than a city), Atlantis having been pretty much the crackpots’ default area of obsession before they had the Kennedy assassination. Haven’t seen much so far on Neptune Lake, though admittedly I’ve still got about 19,990 books to go. In the meantime here’s a run down of the leading theories about Atlantis’s location:

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Herbalism Naturopathic Medicine Buddhist Psychology: Cultivating Sanity iry 21-23 The Films of Hitchcock Feb. 21; Mar. 1,2 Introduction to Winter Ecology through Snow Travel March 3-April 7 Grant-Writing for Non-Profit Organizations March 5-April 16 The Hollywood Musical March 7-9 Dynamics of the Earth's Atmosphere March 7-9 Mandalas: Maps to the Psyche March 14-23 13th- & 14th- Century Scotland (on-site) March 21-23 Search for Meaning in the Therapeutic Setting April 4-6 Fast Forward: Thinking through the Production Process April 11-13 Working with Adolescents: Meeting the Challenge April 15-May 13 Managing Conflict in the Workplace April 18-20 Making a First Low-Budget Feature Film April 18-20 NYC Theater-Broadway May 2-4 Vermont Geography

Dear Cecil, My father is convinced that the so-called lost city of Atlantis is at the bottom of Neptune Lake in North Dakota! Should I call a sanitar ium or go to this lake and help him find this lost land? T— C.W. Rozet, Wyoming

♦ Plato made the whole thing up, the little weasel. Plato of course is the guy who related the Atlantis legend circa 348 BC in two of his dialogues, Timaeus and Cr;Vwzt. The entire account covers maybe 20 W e b u y a n d pages of printed text. A character in the dialogues says the legend had been told 200 years previously to the Athenian statesman Solon by an s e ll u s e d & Egyptian sage.," But no independent account of Atlantis exists in Greek or c o lle c tib le b o o k s Egyptian literature or anywhere else. Modern efforts to equate Atlantis with well-established myths about Elysium, the land of fallen heroes, etc. are speculative BS. The common view among scholars is that • browsers welcome Plato manufactured rite story to support his theories about the ideal • out-of-print search state, appeal to Greek patriotism (in his story the Greeks defeated the service Atlanteans), etc. “ • 'r ^ v, MucI&)ftid^.Story does seem fiction^For example .thedesmi©-: ~ • amazing prices on tion of Atlantis is said to have occurred 9000 years before Plato’s day. 13,000 volumes This requires # to believe that the story had been accurately transmit • free parking ted since prehistoric times by word of mouth. This by a species most of whose members can barely remember what they had for lunch. Sure. .- ■Y . -: Old Books Make However, Plato has his characters Insist at a couple points that the story’s true. And if you can’t trust Plato, who can you trust? (Besides Great Gifts me, I mean.) Lets not forget that everybody thought Troy was fiction al until Schliemann dug it up in Turkey. > 9:30-S:30 Mon-Sat • Atlantis was in the Atlantic. Duh, you say. Obviously you haven’t read the 20,000 books. Plato clearly states that Atlantis was just out 31 Main Street side the Pil lars of Hercules at Gibraltar. However, no traces of a giant at Batteiy Street lost islaSwI have been found and oceanographers are pretty confident 802-862-4397 none will be. "Plate tectonics,” the believers reply. What about plate tectonics? The major shifting of the continents occurred millions of years before mans arrival, and you sure didn’t have any big chunks A .I -

- M

>1. It’s been r< cam .k eruption on the 9000 years of Plato’s

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CONCEPT TIME

Gov. Howard Dean finally came out of the closet last week on property tax reform and laid 1 his own proposal on the table. Key elements | included a “homestead credit” which he bor|| rowed from Republicans. Tax sharing, i.e., robI bing the rich to pay off the poor, which is sacred to Democrats. A two-cent cut in the 1 five-cent state sales tax for towns that rub | against the Connecticut River, which he bor rowed from three of the major domos in the I Statehouse: House Speaker Michael Obuchowski, Appropriations Chair Sean Campbell and Senate President Peter Shumlin | all of whom just happen to live next to the I river. And about $50 million in new taxes to | pay for it all. Most folks who read the papers the day after Ho-Ho’s reform show couldn’t help but feel a | little nervous. | But fear not. Hide your wallets! Inside Track I brings you tidings of great joy. Ho-Ho’s “con cept,” as he called it, ain’t going nowhere. S That’s ’cause he’s the governor and governors | don’t write laws — legislators do. There’s a | whole shooting match yet to be played out I before Ho-Ho comes into play with his mighty * pen. So it’s high time for everyone to put their 1 two cents in to this “concept” 1 game. Here’s a few possibilities: | •D on’t raise the gas tax. Yours I truly drives a car, don’t you? ®How about a tax on bicycles. 1 After all, since they do the envi§ ronment so much good, how | about getting a little revenue | out o f ’em. Say $50 per bike, per year. i • That leads to health clubs. | Seems like everyone under 30 | works out in some yuppie I Spandex parlor where they have f to shell out at least $500 just to I get the right outfit to sweat in. | Time for a sweat tax. We hit | ’em at the shower nozzle. A I sawbuck a shower. No change. • Quit beating around the bushes on hemp. It’s coming and | everyone knows it. Why can’t | Vermont be a leader? Hemp licenses could go for, say $1000 per grower. Nice shirt, dude. •Out-of-staters. They come by the busload all year long. | Can’t wait to get here. Clean air I and all. Sure, they spend money * and have a good time, but why should they be 1 allowed to just leave whenever they want? Time § for exit visas. They get in for free but have to 1 shell out $20 to depart. Major airports do it. We could even stamp their passports, what the J hell. I •Everyone knows Canadians don’t tip. Just 1 ask any waitron. Quebecers feel they don’t have | to shell out gratuities since their dollar doesn’t I equal but three U.S. quarters. So for Canadians J we slap a 15 percent “state service charge” on I their restaurant purchases. We can tell ’em it’s to | keep the French channel on cable. These are just a few well-thought out ideas I yours truly has picked up here and there. You ®can call your lawmaker with more. 1 Attorney General, Anyone? — Quite the little 1 job opening in Montpelier — almost a full | term as the state’s top law enforcement officer. I It’s a premier political stepping stone and, I despite the fact Jeflf Amestoy wore the official 8 colors of the GOP, this baby ain’t going to a 1 Republican. The R’s can go through the | motions and submit recommendations, but it’s 1 Dean’s call, and Ho-Ho is a Democrat. Honest. The right applicant should be a bright and I eager Democrat with a pristine legal resume | and political ambition. Someone with a future

in politics. Let’s see now, who fits the bill, hm m m ... got it: Ed Flanagan! Top-shelf resume in both the public and private sector. I And notoriety as the highest openly gay elected official in the whole damn country. Can there I be any doubt? Yep. Big-time doubt. Ho-Ho despises the guy. Thinks Fast Eddie’s a weirdo. Wishes he’d just disappear. Why, you ask? Never really been able to get a straight answer out of Ho-Ho on that one. (Or a gay answer, either.) Sure Flanagan, as state auditor and watchdog of the public purse, hasn’t been shy about criticizing the gov and his adminis tration on some slippery contracts. Hey, that’s his job! Don’t take it so personal, will ya? Fast Eddie isn’t going to be auditor-for-life. I A decade ago, in his first Vermont campaign, he g ran for A.G. (lost to Amestoy). He almost jumped into the lite-gov race last year, but was talked out of it for the sake of party unity and waiting your turn. Ho-Ho’s trying to find a Dem for the job who would scare Fast Eddie out of a primary in ’98. Administration Secretary Bill Sorrell fits the 8 bill perfectly, but doesn’t want the job at the moment. After the recent Supreme Court snafu, | who can blame him from shying away from g another F.O.H. (Friend of Howard) appoint ment? Everyone would just scream cronyism again, right? Well, maybe not. Fact is, Billy Sorrell’s got pretty darn good credentials if you bother g to check the resume. He’d make 1 a top-shelf attorney general. 1 And he’d definitely keep Fast g Eddie at bay. Who knows? Time heals all wounds. Right now, time’s got § about two, maybe three months f to work its magic. Virginia Slims, NOT! — State Rep. Ann Seibert of Norwich got a pretty good ride in Sunday’s Boston Globe. “Vt. feminist takes strong anti-tobac- g co stand.” Nobody at the Statehouse needs reminding that Ann Seibert is Joe Camel’s worst nightmare. The Ghbe highlighted Ann’s pet peeve — that righteous women’s organi zations hop into the sack with Philip Morris at the drop of a few coins of the realm. For example, the Ms. Foundation does not accept cash from the NRA, pro-life groups or “flagrantly” sexist com panies. But the Ms. Foundation gladly accepts tobacco bucks. What ticks off Seibert is the fact | those bucks give the purveyors of the evil weed g “acceptability, credibility and silence.” g Care for a smoke, darling? Please don’t drop any ashes on the glass ceiling you just broke. LeClair Watch — Our favorite hockey player, | John LeClair, continues his route to the Hockey Hall of Fame. As Don Cherry once said on CBC, “John LeClair didn’t learn how to ! play hockey on the bus the Philadelphia.” John i LeClair, millionaire, learned how to play hockey § right here in Vermont. He’s a great selling point J for UVM in the recruiting game, but did you g know John LeClair is not a graduate of the University of Vermont? In 1991 he left UVM 8 for the Canadiens in the last semester of his senior year. A check with UVM’s Registrar’s Office indicates John Clark LeClair has yet to g graduate. How’s he gonna get a good job without his sheepskin? Media Notes— W PTZ’s former Vermont bureau chief, M ike Richards, is back in town as news director at W W IN, the local Warner Brothers affiliate. Problem is W W IN doesn’t have a news operation... yet. □

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sounds amazingly calm after two weeks on the job as executive director o f the state arts council. He has met the governor — twice — just as the good doctor promised more money for arts education and cultural tourism. O f course Aldrich is used to high-level lobbying. Once he ran into Georgia Governor Zell ss concert in a funky part of Adanta. “There >oy boots with a bucket o f popcorn in his mbers. “I told him he had extremely good « taste in mi ich of course he already knew.”

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274 North Winooski Avenue, Burlington 863-3659 WE’RE OPEN EVERY DAY! Mon-Sat. 9:30-8:00 • Sun. 12-5 :

page

SEVEN D A Y S ’

January

1997

C ontinued from the cover “The meeting didn’t achieve what we had hoped,” sighed Phil Benoit, the college’s spokesman. “Mr. H unt was expecting more realistic, con crete suggestions with some detail. We thought people would put more effort into it.” In fact, the tone of the forum was symptomatic of the chill that has settled over towngown relations in the past year, vexing officials on both sides who say it didn’t have to be this way. The relationship between Middlebury College and its hometown is arguably unique in Vermont, for reasons of both size and proximity. Bennington College, for example, is far enough removed from the town that the interests of the two sel dom conflict. At the other end of the spectrum, relations between the University of Vermont and Burlington, although frequently difficult, involve a marriage of equals. While the town of Middlebury could exist without the college on the hill, it is unquestionably the college and its people that give the town its aura of afflu ence and culture. But “the town and the col lege have had a rough time of late,” acknowledged Peter Lebenbaum, chair of the Select Board, “and it’s odd, because it was becoming increasingly col laborative over my nine years on the board.” “There are always stresses between a small town and a large institution,” added Benoit. “The college is chang ing right now. Change gener ates fear, and fear tends to make people defensive.”

pecifically, what’s at issue in Middlebury are three sepa rate projects, all of which have coalesced into one ugly lump of suspicion and bad feel ing. All three are about growth and/or money — this at a time when the town feels itself being choked by traffic and pinched by exorbitant property taxes. The downtown is, more and more, a snarl of cars waiting to cross the narrow, two-lane bridge that crosses Otter Creek. At $2.77 per hundred dollars, Middlebury has one of the highest property tax rates in the state. The plan that first galva nized public attention last year was the proposal by Myron Hunt, a college alumnus, to build a large Price Chopper on eight acres that had been entrusted to the college. When

January

2 2,

1997

v. : y, y _ . .

college officials announced that Hunt had signed a contract to buy the lot, a firestorm of protest broke out, spearheaded by a group called Citizens for Middlebury, who accused the college of bad environmental ism and even worse community spirit. H unt’s existing shopping centers, one of which houses the A&P, already were eyesores, the opponents said. Last fall, the town planning commission rejected H unt’s application for reasons of extra traffic, and the proposal was withdrawn, leaving open the question raised at the midJanuary forum: W hat next? “Some of the anger and out rage did surprise me,” admitted Selectman Lebenbaum. “I was surprised at the vehemence of the feeling toward the college.” A second hot spot has bro ken to the north of town, where the college owns 90 acres of land adjacent to the existing industrial park. With a recent spate of interest in the park, town officials proposed putting a new municipal wastewater treatment plant on 10 of those 90 acres. In return for getting the land at little or no cost, the town would build a road and put in water and sewer infra structure, making the collegeowned lots viable for future industrial development. The college trustees agreed to the scheme, but only on con dition that the town would issue a master permit for the seven building lots adjacent to the proposed road, a condition town officials calculated would cost them in the neighborhood of $42,000 for landscaping and engineering plans. That was $42,000 the town hadn’t planned to spend. “People sensed there was some tit-for-tat involved,” said Lebenbaum of the escalating tension that arose from the trustees’ decision. “At the same time, the college clearly has become unnerved by the mas ter-planning process. It’s new and it’s being used for the first time, no one is exactly sure what’s expected. The trustees were responding to that.” he idea of a master plan came about as a result of a town zoning ordinance enacted in 1995. Middlebury College has been asked to pre pare such a manifesto for its proposed $100 million capital construction project, which includes 12 new buildings and 14 renovations. Among the biggest-ticket items on the list

TOWN AND GOWN

Middlebury and its college look to the future.

McCardell said in December. “We’re not trying to railroad anything through, but it is frus trating when what is needed, expected and required is either unclearly or incompletely expressed.” In what many hope is a first step toward reconciliation, the Planning Commission on ^ January 15 formally accepted the college’s Master Plan, which amounts to a broad-brush nod to an intentionally flexible con cept of designating certain areas for growth both in the center and at the fringes of the exist ing campus. However, the town planners also flagged certain problem areas — such as con struction near residential areas and traffic — warning that those would come in for close scrutiny if and when the college decides to proceed. Much of the current hostili ty has been played out in the “The college is changing right now. press, exacerbating the tensions on both sides. In early December, McCardell submit Change generates fear, and fea r tends to ted an opinion piece to the Addison County Independent in which he proposed th,at some of make people defensive. ” the anti-Price Chopper senti ment was elitist: ‘“Today we have a downtown that has love — P hil Benoit, M iddlebury College ly shops for gift-giving and spe cial purchases. But for many residents of Middlebury and the surrounding communities — those without tenure, second homes or comfortable retire ments — it is Ames where win Lebenbaum. “My own feeling is ter coats and boots are pur that the eight dorms and a chased, the Fashion Bug where that the college is being held to party barn would damage the slacks and sweaters fall within a higher standard than some character of the neighborhood tight budgets. Yet this ‘strip other applicants have been. But — four houses on a dead-end development’s’ very existence is then again, it is being used for street just west of the campus. met with scorn: another ‘H unt’ the first time.” The matter went before the development that has singularly “I think the current state of Vermont Environmental Court, blemished the approach to this discontent... has to do with... a and the college agreed to buy community.” capricious and arbitrary out the neighbors and scaled approach to the execution of back its immediate plans to planning guidelines,” four dorms and no party barn, C ontinued on page 20

are Bicentennial Hall, a large science center; a new ice hockey rink; and Ridgeline Woods, originally conceived as a com plex of eight student housing units and a party barn in a wooded area that looks out toward the Adirondacks. The college is also required to win the approval of the Planning Commission and/or the Select Board on matters that affect the town — issues* ranging from increased traffic and the historic preservation of significant buildings to added demand for police and fire ser vices. Ridgeline Woods hit trouble right out of the gate when the Planning Commission decided

SEVEN DAYS ♦ V t

*■

* ** ►

with the caveat that it would reopen the issue of the other four dorms somewhere down the road. Currently, the fourdorm project is awaiting an Act 250 permit, and the college recently was slapped with a $5000 fine by the District 9 Environmental Commission for clearing trees for the Ridgeline road before receiving the per mit. Then, too, the Master Plan itself became a sticking point as it was batted back and forth from town to college, from selectmen to planning commis sioners, all of whom were grap pling with the newness of the procedure. “It’s an inelegant process,” acknowledged

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WEDNESDAY

TOM CLEARY (jazz piano), Mona’s Jazz Bar, 6 p.m. No cover. JAMES 0 BAND (eclectic), Cactus Cafe, 7 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. HANNIBAL & AGOSTI (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. HEARTATTACK 97 (DJ Joeski from NYC), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $5-8. NEVER ONLY ONCE, STILLSUIT (hardcore), Club Toast, 10 p.m. $3/5. SOMAH, 4:20 (groove-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. SMOKIN'GRASS (bluegrass), Rio’s, Winooski, 8 p.m. No cover. DENNIS WEATOR (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE NIGHT (acoustic), Cambridge Coffee House, Smugglers Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 7 p.m. Donations. ^

THURSDAY OAKLAND * CO. (jazz), Mona’s Jazz Bar, 6 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE NI6HI WITH MARK GALBO (acoustic), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. No cover. THE FIDDLEHEADS (frolicsome love circus), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. RYAN OBER (alt-acoustic), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. GEORGE PETIT & THE DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Halverson’s, 9 p.m. $2. BELIZBEHA, THE BASEMENT (acid jazz), Club Toast, 10 p.m. $8. JUSAGROOVE (groove rock), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. No cover. BUZZ NIGHT (alt DJ), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $2 after 11 p.m. HANNIBAL & AGOSTI (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. FUNKS-G (funk), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. No cover. MARTY MORRISSEY (Irish, folk), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. No cover. DENNIS WEATOR (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. THE MANDOLINQUENTS (swing, bluegrass), James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley, 7:30 p.m. No cover. SETH YACOVONE (blues) Dibden Center, Johnson State College, 8 p.m. $5. AUGUSTA BROWN (rock), Cafe Banditos, Smugglers Notch, Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m. $1. TNT DJ, Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. No cover. LIVE BLUEGRASS, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. OPEN MIKE, Gallaghers, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. No cover. BRUCE SKLAR TRIO (jazz), Common Man, Warren, 8 p.m. No cover. MOTOWN REVUE (11-piece r&b), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 p.m. $5. - ui : I ,di/i

_ FRIDAY CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. No cover. PERRY NUNN (acoustic^ Ruben James, 5 p.m. No cover. BRUCE SKLAR TRIO (jazz), Mona’s Jazz Bar, 5:30 p.m. No cover. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. No cover. 12 X OVER, BLINDED BY RAGE, LAST ONES STANDING (hardcore), 242 Main, 8 p.m. $5. JOHN BOEHM (folk legend series), Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover. BUBBLE TRIBE (electric banjo fusion), Last Elm, 8 p.m. Donations. ARIEUS (house DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. BIG HEAVY WORLD'S SONIC TONIC (local bands CD release party), Club Toast and Club Metronome, 8 p.m. $5. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. CHAMELEONS (jazz), Mr. Mike’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. COLD STEEL BREEZE BLUES BAND, Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. No cover. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. No cover. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. BLUE JAY WAY (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton, 9 p.m. No cover. THE LIND NER BROS, (old-time folk), Williston Coffee House, 8 p.m. $5. DIAMOND DJ (’80s revival), James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley, 9 p.m. No cover. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $2. ROCKIN' DADDYS (rock), Charlie-o’s, Montpelier, 10 p.m. No cover. ALEX BETZ TRIO (jazz), Main Street Bar & Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 8 p.m. No cover. SETH YACOVONE (blues), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3. R.J. RODDENBERRY (rock), Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. $2. MOTOWN REVUE (11-piece * r&b), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 p.m. $5. MIKE DEVERS & LAUSANNE ALLEN (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6:30 p.m. No cover. ALBERT OTIS (blues), Cafe Banditos, Smugglers Notch, Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m. $3. DIAMOND JIM JAZZ BAND, Diamond Jim’s Grille, St. Albans, 8 p.m. No cover. SATURDAY o ORGANIC GROOVE FARMERS, DYLAN (groove-rock), Blue Couch Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations. JAZZ NORTH, Mona’s Jazz Bar, 7 p.m. No cover. JAIME MORTON (contemporary folk), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 9 p.m. $6. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. LITTLE MARTIN (DJ), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $3. TYPE 0 NEGA TIVE, SISTER MACHINE GUN, DRAIN (alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $10. MONSTER MIKE WELCH (blues), Club C ontinued on n ext page... Got something to tell Rhythm & News? Call Pamela at (802) 864.5684. Or mail your tip to P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402, or e-mail to sevenday@together.net.

BAND NAME OF THE WEEK:

Kins of the Hill

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S E V E N DAYS

F e b r u a r y

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T h a n k s F o r Y o u r P a tro n a g e , w e lo o k : f o r w a r d t o s e e in g y o u in M a rc h !

By: Pamel a Pol&ton

JUNIOR BROWN, S E M I C KA a Y (Curb Records, CD) — The double bill this Thursday — postponed from last Halloween — of Junior Brown and The Mavericks is a po-mo honky-tonk dream come true. Miami’s Havana-flavored Mavericks, kind of the Los Lobos of country, garnered the Country Music Associations 1996 Vocal Group of the Year and a handful of other awards and have won fans from truckers to tattooed punks with their idiosyncratic, genre-bending roots ruckus. Meanwhile, Austin’s favorite son Junior Brown has also been doing things his own way — he even designed a double-barreled guitsteel” in order to achieve that uniquely retrotrad sound. As he has put it, “the sound of five people in a four-person band.” Semi Crazy— as in trucks, not halves — shows off Brown at his Ernest Tubbs-like best; so steeped in tradition the late ’50s suits look perfectly natural on him, lyrics so dry-humored we haven’t heard the likes since, well, Ernest Tubbs. Brown’s basso is limit ed but does the trick, dipping deep for mourn ful effect and tilting at times like a shit-eating

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grin. But it’s his guitar — excuse me, guit-steel — playing that wows ’em in Peoria, even Metallica fans. From tongue-in-cheek roadhouse laments like “Gotta Get Up Every Morning (Just to Say Goodnight to You)” to humble working-class ditties like the title song to a Ventures-inspired “Surf Medley,” Brown skids across all 14 strings with lightning speed and seamless dexterity, so fluid he can make rain cry. With the help of Miss Tanya Rae Brown (his wife, business manager and rhythm guitarist,

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Continued on page 10

Metronome, 7 p.m. $6/8, followed by RETRONOME (funk, disco, ’80s DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. No cover. LAURA SIMON & DAYVE HUCKETT (blues), Mr. Mike’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. THE STEPH PAPPAS EXPERIENCE (orig inal rock-blues), Last Elm, 8 p.m. Donations. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. No cover. POOF (rock), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. No cover. SMOKIN’ GRASS (bluegrass), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. No cover. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. BLUE JAY WAY (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No <?over. BOB GESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaway’^, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. No cover. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley, 9 p.iq, No cover. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $2. ERIC KOELLER QUARTET (jazz), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 8 p.m. No cover. ALBERT OTIS (blues), Charhe-os, Montpelier, 9.30 p.m. No cover. R.J. RODDENBERRY (rock), Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $2. JALAPENO BROS. (rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 4 p.m., no cover, followed by SAYLYN REGGAE, 9:30 p.m. $3. JAMIE LEE & THE RATTLERS (country), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 p.m. $5. EAST COAST MUSCLE (blues-rock), Cafe Banditos, Smugglers Notch, Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m. $3.

fe a tu rin g ...

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G e o r g e P e t i t a rte l t h e D e s ir e d E f f e c t Light appetizers ■ Cash Bar at

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^ SUNDAY PATH CASEY, BOB 0A6N0N S MATT MC6IBNEY (acoustic), City Market, 11 a.m. No cover. ACOUSTIC SUNRISE BRUNCH (open jam), Java Love, 11 a.m. No cover. FLEX RECORD NIGHT (dub DJ), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. No cover. PORK TORNADO, THE GULLY BOYS (funk-groove), Club Toast, 10 p.m. $4/6. MIGHTY FAB KINGTONES (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. TOM & DAVE (acoustic), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 11 a.m. No cover. SUPERBOWL PARTY, Rusty Nail, Stowe, 4 p.m. No cover. R.J. RODDENBERRY (rock), Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $2.

MONDAY

OPEN STAGE (open mic, all genres), Blue Couch Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations. GRATEFUL JAVA JELLY (open grateful/blues jam), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. GOLDFINGER, REEL BIG FISH, BLUE MEANIES (ska-core), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $8. BAD NEIGHBORS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. GLADLY (alt-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. WOMEN'S NIGHT (dinner), Last Elm, 6 p.m. $2/Donations. ALLEY CAT JAM (rock-blues), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover.

TUESDAY

THE BURLYTOWN BEANERY OPEN MIC KNIGHT (acoustic), Java Love, 7 p.m. No cover. OPEN POETRY READING, Last Elm, 8 p.m. Donations. NOBODY'S FAULT (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. No cover. FLASHBACK: HITS OF THE '80S (DJ), Club Toast, 10 p.m. No cover/$5 under 21. GEGGY TAH (alt-rock), Club Metronome, 7 p.m., $7, fol lowed by BLACK RHYTHMS (DJs Little Martin, Craig Mitchell), 9:30 p.m. No cover. JENNI JOHNSON (jazz, blues vocalist), Rio’s, Winooski, 8 p.m. No cover. SHANE BRODY (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6:30 p.m. No cover. . . . B O R N UN DE R A B L U E S SI GN

February 27 •8 pm FlynnTheatre, BurlingtonVT

His credentials say he's a 17-year-old

white kid from Lexington, Mass; critics say the only blues he can rightfully claim is the teen-age kind. No matter. Monster Mike Welch w as born old. Had to be. Listen to him

play and sing the blues — no, caress it, possess it, spit it out whole — and you're sure

Tickets Available At

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he's got Delta mud in his blood. Lissen up — the boy wonder is back. At Club

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January

22,

1997

S E V E N DAYS

The. -w . p o in t

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REVIEWS

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(Big Heavy World, compila tions CD) — Way to go, Burlington. Something momentous will have to happen this year to knock this CD off my Top 10 list. From the dizzyingly catchy opener by Lindy Pear (“Engine 4861”) to the pop-tart ending by Guppyboy, this impressive debut compilation from Jim Lockridge’s Big Heavy World enter prise is a delicious selection of Burlington bands on a silver plat ter — and it sounds good, too (mastering courtesy of Joe Egan at Eclipse). W ith 16 songs by 16 bands, it’s impossible to review them all, but here’s a sampling. Chin Hoi’s “When Everything Explodes” is, well, explosive. Never Only Once (“Rebuild”), Rocketsled (“Consumption”) and Five Seconds Expired (“Sick of You”) provide the heavyweight ballast; Zola Turn, mesmerizing beauty with the girl-goth “Angels.” The Fags, as always, offer up a satisfying chunk of punk (“She’s Coming Over”). The inclu sion of James Kochalka Superstar’s kitschy frat-rock ditty, “Keg Party” can stand as evidence to the world that Burlington’s music scene is not without humor. Nor does Lake Champlain lack surf: the Dick Dale-inspired “Delirium Tremelo” from Barbacoa takes no prisoners, just speed records. I’ve omitted a few here due to space limitations. Just get Sonic Tonic yourself, send it to out-of-town friends (thanks to Lockridge’s recent jaunt to L.A., the disc is available in Beverly Hills and Hollywood as well as stores near you). And check out the bands live at the CD release party this Friday. At Toast and Metronome*

NEVER ONLY ONCE, S A V I N G G R A C E (Pressure Point Records, CD) — Fasten your seatbelts, kids, and play this friggin’ loud. Just shy of their third birthday, Burlington quartet Never Only Once take off with unbridled sonic fury on their debut CD. The first project of Pressure Point Records, a brand-new label from Five Seconds Expired’s Jeff Howlett, the five-song Saving Grace is brief but fearsome, the musical equivalent of a quick mission in, say, a fighter jet. 1 was privy only to a pre-release cassette, so I’m giv ing the band and masterful producer Glen Robinson the benefit of the doubt that the smush and tinny snare sound on the dupe is absent on the disc. This aside, N O O (nice acronym) prove themselves heavy weight con tenders in the hardcore arena, ready to play in what passes for the big-time. The playing is con trolled and assertive, harness ing young male energy into state ments of modern angst calculated to make their mark. I especially like the anthemic, chugging potency of In Your Hands,” and the full-throttle smack of the appropri ately named “Apocalypse.” To me the songs themselves resemble a lot of others (particularly in the FSE school), which I’ll attribute to the limitations of both hardcore and my experience with the genre. But Never Only Once has a way with a tune, underscoring sheer volume and engine-revving guitarwork with a melodic sensibility that isn’t afraid of occasional delicacy — like the kind used in cracking a safe. Never Only Once — vocalist/guitarist Nick Nardelli, guitarist Chris Burdick, bassist Patrick Fuller and drummer Matt Nolan — celebrate the release of Saving Grace this Wednesday at Toast. □

S E V E N DAYS

Charlie life

Houston

a t th e

Bv Ke v i n

to p

fth e

Kelley

s Dr. Charles Houston savors the spectacular view of the Adirondacks from his secluded home in Burlington’s hill section, images of mightier and more majestic mountains reappear in his mind’s eye. Houston thinks back, for example, to the 100-mile trek through the Alps he took with his father in 1925; to his con quest 11 years later of the 26,000-foot Nanda Devi; to his experience in 1950 of being among the first Westerners to glimpse Everest’s summit from the south; and, indelibly, to the 1953 assault on K2, the world’s second-tallest mountain, that almost cost Houston his life. The retired physician also had reason to ruminate recently on his pioneering medical research, which has contributed to the understanding of illnesses involving oxygen deprivation. Last fall his work was honored with a rarely bestowed King Albert Memorial Foundation Award, named for the Belgian

w o r ld

monarch killed in a climbing accident in the 1930s. The cita tion lauds Houston’s role in developing treatments for ail ments that afflict not only highaltitude mountaineers, but mil lions of people who never get much above sea level. The former professor at the University of Vermont College of Medicine reflects on these achievements during an inter view conducted under the gaze of General Sam Houston — the Gilbert Stuart portrait of his great-great-great grandfather hangs in Houston’s living room. And despite occasional ram bunctious interruptions by his much-loved Golden Retriever, Houston manages to critique the American medical system in general and the Fletcher Allen Health Care complex in partic ular. Alert and energetic, the 83year-old researcher-adventurer might be mistaken for a much younger man. Houston never theless speaks half-jokingly of his “progressive benevolent obsolescence.” Gone are the days, he laments, when he was

INWARD BOUND:

Dr. Charles Houston, with Tigger, at home in Burlington.

regularly invited to give lectures in China and Japan. Houston’s 20-year retire ment has hardly been a period of senescence, however. He spends his time writing essays on the history of medicine and is currently a consultant for a forthcoming Imax movie about an Everest expedition. A fulfilling professional career has been complemented by a happy personal life.

Houston has been married for 55 years and has three children: One son teaches computer sci ence at UVM; a daughter in California is a social services administrator; and another son, also a physician, works at the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta. “I know I’m fortunate to have gotten so much satisfac tion from the things I’ve done,” he says.

Born in Manhattan in 1913, Houston grew up in Great Neck, Long Island, when “it was still a lovely little vil lage.” He earned degrees first at Harvard and later at Columbia’s College of Physicians and Surgeons. The Alpine hiking expedi tion at age 12 in the company of his inspirational father insured that mountains would C ontinued on page 12

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page

ed from page 11 later play almost as large a role in Houston’s life as medicine. Taking time off from medical school in 1936, he took part — again with his father — in the British-American expedi tion that scaled Nanda Devi, then the highest mountain ever climbed. Two years later, Houston joined a team that came within 2000 feet of reaching the five-mile-high summit of K2, the penultimate peak in the Himalayas. His marriage in 1941 to Dorcas Laidley Tremeyer was celebrated by a climbing hon eymoon in Wyoming’s Tetons. Service as a Navy flight sur geon during World War II like wise enabled Houston to con tinue exploring the heights. By 1952, he was ready for a second go at K2. This harrow ing journey up “the savage mountain” is described in a book of that title which Houston co-authored. “A terri ble storm that very nearly killed us all” had put an end to that expedition —- and to Houston’s entire mountaineer ing avocation. The near-escape on K2 convinced him to focus on his family and medical call ing. Besides, Houston muses now, climbing for him was never mainly about being on top. “I did it back in the good old days when it was a plea sure, not a profession,” he explains. “Every place we climbed then was new and untouched, which was what made the experience so won derful. The summit wasn’t everything. Not getting there didn’t mean it was a failed expedition.” Houston had tended to the medical needs of the team that climbed K2 in 1953. He was well-qualified for the role: Seven years earlier, Houston had led Operation Everest, a U.S. military-funded research project that studied the effects of oxygen depletion. Volunteers were placed in a decompression chamber that simulated an ascent to 29,000 feet —- the elevation of thenunclimbed Mt, Everest, the highest point on Earth. The project showed that human beings could survive at that altitude without using oxygen masks and that they would not necessarily die in the course of a rapid descent. Operation Everest also produced findings with important military applications. The experiments demonstrated that pilots could fly much higher than was then the norm in their unpressurized craft if they were acclimatized to the greater altitude and were breathing ■ oxygen. General medicine benefited as well from the data gathered on how the heart functioned and responded to changes in

S E V E N DAYS

en Operation Everest was repeated nearly 20 years later, in 1985, with Houston again playing a lead role. This round of tests helped researchers better understand how to treat chronic oxygen-shortage illnesses affecting some five million peopie in the U.S. alone. Houston’s studies were also instrumental in the develop ment o f medicines for “moun tain sickness.” Colorado’s tourism industry boomed, Houston says, once it became possible for skiers and hikers to squelch the symptoms resulting from physical exertion at high altitudes. It was in Colorado that Houston had made another discovery that has been of ines timable importance to medical science. While in Aspen in 1957, he diagnosed a boy res cued atop a tali mountain as having suffered pulmonary edema, an excessive accumula tion of fluid in lung tissues. •

A terrible storm that very nearly » . / / / /

it i

kiu ed them a ll h ad

p u t an end to that expedition — and to Houston's entire mountaineering avocation. The near-escape on K 2 convinced him to focus on his fa m ily a n d medical calling.

cSsft became cha ,^ _ be department of community medicine, which promoted family practice and rural health initiatives. During the summers, Houston conducted research at a laboratory built on a 17,000-foot summit in the Canadian Yukon. The dozen years he spent at UVM “were not a very happy experience for me,” Houston says now, adding diplomatical ly, “but most of it was my own fault.” Turf wars in the College of Medicine culminated in the abolition of his community medicine department. And that outcome was itself indicative of larger changes underway at UVM and in the entire American medical academy. UVM “used to be a small, fairly laid-back medical school and hospital with an emphasis on family practice,” Houston recalls. “Then, after the idealis tic period of the ’60s, the money began to get tight, research and the procurement of grants became predomi nant, financial survival became the name of the game. The collegial atmos phere also disappeared.” This new ethos, accompanied by institutional expan-

sion on a

scale proved

inimical to Houston’s own professional orientation. “My priority was the quality o f teaching,” he says. “The dean had a different sense of what 'Win was most important.” Although he misses seeing patients, Houston says he is glad not to be part of the pre sent-day American medical system. He thinks little good will come — for patients as well as providers — from the competitive arrangements developed in the hope of con taining treatment costs. “Competition has its points,” Houston observes, “but the way it s worked out is to divert revenues from the etsr” He believes, too, that

Prior to H ouston's d etection , it had been generally th ou gh t that persons w i tion

Houston was to unravel the mysteries ot the this period of his career, he was busily building artificial hearts. Changing course in the early ’60s, Houston and his family moved to Delhi, where he took up the post o f Peace Corps director for India. He spent two years traveling around the subcontinent, overseeing what he now views as a highly effective program. Not wanting to be a bureaucrat in Washington, Houston jumped at an offer to come to Vermont to teach at

sures to econom ize,

Because o f his small-is-

leader ot a campaign in 1970s against construction of new hospital facilities, and he is opposed now to Fletcher AllenV plan for another major addition. “I’m very proud of the qual ity o f care at Fletcher Allen, for the most part,” Houston declares. “But I think the management there is very bad.” Having come this far on the strength of a critical and questing spirit, the distinguished octogenarian is still not inclined to shirk candor or controversy. O

January

22,

1997

ALL ABOUT ALVAREZ

A?o

as it relates to the lower classes. Yo convinces two battered women to leave t’s no coincidence that the their husbands. She teaches an new novel by Julia Alvarez, "All I did was write a book, ” illiterate peasant how to read. named after its whip-smart Despite her social standing, the she wails. protagonista Yolanda Garcia, is daughter of the maid is “my lit Everyone's feeling a little also the Spanish word for “L” tle sister.” A little more self-crit Anyone who knows Alvarez rec exposed, that's all. ” icism would make this uplifting ‘‘ But it's fiction, " she starts in. ognizes this gregarious Garcia book richer and more complex. Oh, yeah, I want to say . . . girl as her spitting image, down Cousin Lucy provides some, I ’m thinking, why cant she write to the “promo picture that noting how the Garcia girls about axe murderers or law-firm makes her look prettier than always seemed to leave the scams or extraterrestials and she is.” But jYo! is not like Me island right before hurricane make a million and divide it — the celebrity swan song by season. “That was their way. four ways, which by the way is Katherine Hepburn. The book They would talk about the what the other sisters suggest she is an engaging autobiography unfairness of poverty, about the do with this book since we pro disguised as a novel in which bad schools, the terrible treat vided the raw material. everyone — except Yolanda ment of the maids. Then, once Garcia — has their say. they had us feeling like creeps, Garcia — and Alvarez, for Narrators abound in jYo!, they’d leave for their shopping that matter — certainly has and are linked by the mutual malls and the colleges, their sitplenty of “raw material” to admiration for the main charac ins and their dope cigarettes.” draw from: both from fourter — the fiery, fiction-loving jYo!may be Alvarez’s daughter families, both born daughter of high-ranking attempt to resolve some of into the Latin American lap of Dominicans. But her image those long-standing conflicts luxury, both between her patrician past and driven from progressive politics, her Old their home lands by tyran World traditions and New England life. Or at least an nical dictators. attempt to herd all the crazy jYo! takes the people in her life into one reader back book. In the chapter titled and forth in time, from Yo’s “The Wedding Guests,” Yolanda Garcia gets married — (and Alvarez’s) for the third time — in the native middle of a field next to a Dominican sheep farm in northern New Republic to England. The priest, one of the adopted eight narrators in the chapter, United States, notices her presiding over the tracing a life path forged by multicultural clan of family and friends “as if she had been wait privilege and natural writing ing all her life for them to gath talent, but also er here.” Among the guests is her by failed mar hU\m Of HQVIHt M(IA MU W1H(H A(((M m riages, political father, who has the last word in this novel. His testimony insecurity and explains why the Garcias were familial dis forced to leave their homeland, putes. and the part Yo plays in their Through it all, Yolanda develops over the course of the self-exile. By the end of the Garcia is larger than life — book, from accounts of friends, book, Papi has changed his smart, sexy, vivacious and a family, servants, teachers and mind about fiction — and the heck of a lot more liberal than students. Like Joy Luck Club, beating he once gave Yo for her “hair-and-nails” cousins this book is constructed from telling stories. Instead of a hard back in the Caribbean. To the interlocking stories told from time, now he gives his daughter servants, she was “not the usual different points of view. Despite a writing assignment. “Tell run of rich ladies.” To the sometimes simplistic writing, it them our journey,” he says. Southern suitor, she’s the next unfurls, like good gossip, in “You have my blessing. Pass it best thing to Caroline Kennedy. delicious disorder. on. □ To the teacher, a once-in-a-lifeThe extended family time student. Professor dynamic is established in the Julia Alvarez has scheduled Garfield, who advises “Miss prologue, which introduces Yo, readings from jYo! at the follow Garcia” through her precarious and her “fiction,” in the glow of ing locations: Book Rack, post-grad life of hippie hus her last published book. But it Winooski — Friday, January 24, bands and career crises, is one is clear from the first sentence 7 p.m.; Chassman & Bern, _________ of the most com that her sisters are Burlington — Sunday, January pelling, and ; Y o! ,■ by J u l i a not at all happy 26, 3 p.m.; Vermont Book Shop believable, charac with the unexpect A1 v a r e z . at Ilsley Library, Middlebury, ters in the book. ed publicity. Their A1gonqui n Friday, February 8, 7 p.m.; Unfortunately mother has threat Books of Deerleap Books, Bristol — much about this ened to sue. Our Chapel H i l l , Friday, February 14, 7 p.m. book is not so first impression of 320 page s . credible, especially Yo — besides her $18. 95. Bv

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THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ROTTEN Childrens author Jack Gantos points his pen at adults Jav

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ack Gantos, the author of the popular Rotten Ralph series for children, has just published a book for adults so disturbing and graphic that his publisher is advising book stores to keep the kid stuff out of sight wherever he reads. The reason for such pru dence is that Zip Six is largely based on his own 18-month stay in a federal prison for smuggling a ton of Moroccan hashish into New York City from the Virgin Islands in 1971. Gantos, cur rently establish ing the first MFA in Writing for Children at Vermont College, is not a typical children’s writer. His own checkered life is the subject mat ter of all his books. In fact, Gantos’ realism might be just the perfect antidote for a child who’s been immersed too long in the fantasy genre. His books portray the grit, meanness and insecurity of real life — his life — and how he has managed to live through it. Ray Jakes, the protagonist of

pocket, and during my Zip Six, Gantos gives meaning to the meanness — with touch parole hearing I pulled it out and showed it to the ing scenes, like the one in panel of judges. I credit that which Jake nurses a wounded letter with shaving a long inmate back to life — and keeps the reader from becoming stretch of time off my incarcer ation.” desensitized by the endless bar But Gantos draws a line rage of sordid between himself and Jake. “Ray images. There Jakes is an invention well is humor too beyond my personal experi — black as it ence,” he says. “He inhabits the. is. Gantos makes depravi world I might have known as a second self — the self that took ty delightful with characters a wrong turn.” Gantos’ books for young like Johnny adults are not much rosier. In Reb,the Heads or Tails, Jack Henry’s dog Confederate is eaten before his eyes by an flag-waving alligator. In Jack's New Power, a mascot of tale worthy of Edward Gorey’s Plantation grisly anti-child illustrations, a High, and a family catches the sitter putting prison mate the baby in the oven with the aptly named gas turned up. Jack’s saving Elvis, who grace is the power and identity impersonates he discovers in writing, which the King by he wields to gain autonomy singing only his worst songs from a bullying, petty father. Desire Lines, a young adult — from the novel due out this April,.is Clambake based on a lesbian murder-sui years. cide pact that actually occurred About at Gantos’ former high school halfway in Florida. through the Because of his father’s book, Jakes migratory work — in construc gets out after tion — Gantos went to 10 dif successfully blackmailing the comparison. Flashbacks to Ray warden. In real life, Gantos was ferent schools in 12 years, so it Jakes’ youth in Zip Six recall a shouldn’t be surprising that he released from prison before his kid who will do anything — grew up as the outsider. Now sentence was up, in part kill the family cat and drink a living in New Mexico, the because he had applied and to brimming cup of semen fortysomething author still gets been accepted be accepted. around, lecturing nationwide, to college. “I But no Z ip S i x , by J a c k and has taught at Brown carried that matter how G a n t o s . B r i d g e Wor k s , University, Emerson College acceptance let grim the sub and the University of New ter in my ject matter in 281 p p . . $ 2 1 . 9 5 .

Zip Six, is less concerned with redemption inside the clink than he is with survival. He combats rape, solitary confine ment and an epic scourge of genital crabs that make Dante’s most exquisite tortures pale in

Mexico. His distance from people naturally led to studying them, like the hero of Desire Lines, who imagines himself an anthropologist “studying the evidence of 4 curious people and culture,” he says. Alienation runs deep in Gantos’ work; the estrangement trickles all the way down to Rotten Ralph. In his Rotten Romance, the latest picture book, the crazycat Ralph smears dog food around his lips to thwart a Valentine kiss and spikes choco late-covered cherries with ants. But no matter how demented or rapaciously Rotten Ralph behaves, his owner, Sarah, is infinitely tolerant and uncondi tionally loving. It is the redemption that all of Gantos’ characters desire but rarely get. Although Ralph has been censored a few times by adults “who thought children should be perfect every second of the day,” says Gantos, “the over whelming majority of parents realize that their kids make mis takes, as Ralph does. The way ward cat has, in fact, been embraced by Disney, which currently has two half-hour Rotten Ralph specials airing on its cable channel. The stories are not examples of how to behave, but rather, Gantos says, “help children realize their own rotten behavior.” □ Jack Gantos w ill read from Zip Six at Barnes & Noble in South Burlington on Saturday, 1-3 p.m.

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S E V E N DAYS

All foreign language film s w ill have English subtitles. page

s p o n s o r e d by iiir ii m

© Wednesday music ‘A R N O W IT T BY T H E FIRE’: Vermont pianist Michael Arnowitt samples classi cal music from the last four centuries. Works by Mozart, Beethoven, Liszt, Ravel and Allen Shawn will be per formed. Grunberg Haus, Duxbury, 7:30 p.m. $15. Reservations, 244-7726. ARMY B A N D CONCERT: On “Farmers N igh t,” the Vermont Army Band plays Copland, Bernstein, Sousa, Bennett and Vermont composer

David Myers. Vermont Statehouse, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-0480. D R E W SEMINARY CHOIR: The N ew Jersey theological school chorus sings classical, gospel and contempo rary works. Trinity Church, M ont pelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-9158.

d a n c e CARIBBEAN D A N C E COMPANY: Look for African, European, Asian and Native American influences in the melt ing pot moves o f this West Indian dance troupe. Dance Theatre, Middlebury College

calendar Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. $9. Info, 443-6433. ‘FREE SPIRIT D A N C E ’: The barefoot boogie convenes at Earth Dance Healing Arts Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington, -7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 863-9828. CO N TA C T IMPROV: Make contact with other fearless movers at Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7:15 p.m. $1. Info, 860-3674.

dram a

23 LET IT STOW E: W hether it turns subarctic or subtropical, Stowe is cele brating this week with 11 days o f cabin-fevered fun. Ski races and hock ey are an almost daily occurrence, bur the toga party, frozen turkey bowl and Hollywood Squares are once a winter. Gear up accordingly. Thursday, January 2 3 - Sunday, February 2. Stowe. See calendar fo r tim es an d locations. Info, 253-7321.

23 FROZEN FRISBEE: Forget the Orange, Rose and Super bowls. In North Calais, the game is Frisbee golf, and the bowl is, well, frozen. The first annual Ice Bowl welcomes the happily disc-enfranchised, and their snowshoes, to a cold course o f 18 poles. Players meet every month to tee and tally. Saturday, January 25. N orth Calais D isc G o lf Course, 9:3 0 p. m. $ 5 plus a can o f food. Info, 456-7465-

B O U T TIME: “W hen I grew up, boxing was everywhere,” says Robert Winkler. “It gave us our inspiration, : our heroes.” N ow Winkler is hard at work on a local history o f the sport — bouts were as com m on at old-tim e Vermont country fairs as milk and maple syrup. His ring-side report is sponsored by the Center for Research on Vermont. M onday, January 27. M em orial Lounge, Waterman B u ildin g UVM , 4 p.m . Free. Info, 656-4389.

PATRIOT-GAMES: Everyone knows Benedict Arnold sold out to the British. But few know the story behind the treason. “He didn't think he was fairly treated,” biographer Willard Stern Randall says o f Arnold, and his justifiable persecution com plex.” Valcour Island will never look the same after this history lesson. Monday, January 27. O ld Brick Church, W illiston, 7 :3 0 p.m . Free, Info, 479-9371.

W O O D S A N D CO ULDS: Cinderella and Prince Charming break up a la Charles and D i. The Giant gets revenge on Jack and Little Red Riding Hood. Into the Woods invests in fairy tale futures, and finds “happily ever after” is not all its cracked up to be. Lyric try-outs for the Stephen Sondheim musical are this week. Alert your fairy godmother. Tuesday to Thursday, January 2 8 to 30. W illiston C entral School 7 -1 0 p.m . Free. Info, 860-6827.

JU ST SEW: Seams like a long time since you picked up a needle and thread? Sewing is a lot more fun in circles — that is, where coordination involves hand, eye an d mouth. Your projects, and questions, are welcome at a gathering o f serious stitchers. Be there or bee square. Wednesday January 29. Jericho Com m unity Center, 6 :3 0 -9 p.m . $5. Info, 899-9931. — P.R.

LYRIC THEATRE MEETING: Interested in getting Into the Woods, a fairytale musical by Stephen Sondheim? Actors, techies and other theater types meet at St. Pauls Cathedral, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6827.

a rt CURATOR TALK: In conjunction with an African sculpture exhibit, the curator o f ethnographic art speaks on “Spirits Good to Think W ith.” Hood Museum o f Art, Hanover, N .H ., 5 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2808. GALLERY TALK: A lecture on the Andy Warhol exhibit is followed by a “Not-aSoup-Can Luncheon” at the cafe. Overlook Gallery, Middlebury College, noon. Free. Info, 443-6433.

w ords READING: From father to son, Creston and Sydney Lea read fiction and poetry at Crow Bookshop, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-0848.

kids TEEN PARENT-CHILD GROUP: Teen moms hang out with their babies at the Wheeler School, Burlington, 1-3 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. STORY TIME: Those under three also hear songs at 11 a.m. Three- to five-yearolds also craft at 10 a.m. Fletcher Library, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORIES: Kids listen while they eat snacks and make crafts at the Childrens Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

etc SCO TCH CELEBRATION; Plowman poet Rabbie Burns — national bard o f Scotland — is remembered with single malt Scotches, haggis, poetry, bagpiping and history. Vermont Pub & Brewery, Burlington, 7 p.m. $25. Info, 865-0500. TRANSPO RTATIO N MEETING:

What do you think o f the transit dem on stration project for W illiston, Colchester and Milton? Register an opinion at the Regional Planning Offices, Essex Junction, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3004. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU PPO R T GROUP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. O U T R IG H T M E N ’S GROUP: Outright Vermont sponsors “fun and interesting activities” for gay men under the age o f 23. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

embittered wife and four daughters. Hear what life was like at home with the women folk. Calais Elementary School, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-7777. NATURE TOURS: Naturalists lead the way to a warm tipi in the woods. Snowshoers and cross-country skiers meet at the X-C Ski Center on Rt. 58, M ontgomery Center, 7 p.m. $5. Register, 326-4789. Equipment can be rented. TO ASTM ASTERS M EETING: Professional and non-professional talkers hone their speaking, listening and leader ship skills. Econo Lodge, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-6142.

thursday © music

‘A R N O W IT T BY T H E FIRE’: See January 22. T H E MAVERICKS & JU N IO R BROWN: The country group o f the year shares the bill with guit-steel guitarist Junior Brown. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $28.50. Info, 8635966. BRAHMS LECTURE: Pianist Charles Rosen talks about “The Inspired Awkwardness o f Brahms.” Dana Auditorium, Middlebury College, 4:15 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

t ilm ‘AU REVOIR LES EN FA N T S’: Louis Malle wrote and directed this film about Jews harbored in a Catholic boarding school during World War II. Blue Couch Cafe, Burlington, 7 p.m. Donations. Info, 865-5066.

a rt W O M E N ’S ART GROUP: Women artists meet weekly for feedback, ideas and support. Burlington Waterfront, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3269.

etc O U T D O O R LEADERSHIP SLIDES: Instructor Suzy Messer, o f the National Outdoor Leadership School, shows slides o f field expeditions from around the world. Climb High, Shelburne, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 985-5055. HISTORY PROGRAM: When Vermonter Clark Shipman set out for Montana Territory, he left behind an

friday d a n c e

CARIBBEAN D A N C E COMPANY: See January 22, Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $14-20. Info, 800-639-1383. BALLROOM N IG H T: A swing work shop kicks o ff a night o f ballroom danc ing. Sunset Ballroom, Quality Suites, S. Burlington, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 860-1112.

d ram a ‘F R A N K EN STE IN ’: Lost Nation Theatre breathes new life into a classic tale o f humanity and horror. Montpelier High School, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 229-0492.

t ilm JERRY ZAKS: Tony Award-winning Broadway director Jerry Zaks gives an introduction to his first film, M arvins Room. Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 7 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

a rt POTTERY DEM O : Lucinda RochesterSmith o f Greenwood Pottery shares her ceramic secrets. Vermont Clay Studio, Montpelier, 7 p.m. A potluck dinner starts at 6 p.m. $4. Info, 223-4220.

iv c r d s JULIA ALVAREZ TALK: The award winning Middlebury writer discusses her latest book — an autobiograpical novel entitled, jYo!. See review, this issue. The Book Rack, W inooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. O PE N READING: Lend an ear, or a few words, at the Firehouse Gallery,

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kids M USICAL STORY TIMES: Folks under three listen at 10 a.m. All ages hear tales at 10:30 a.m. Fletcher Library, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORY H O U R : Toddlers listen to sto ries at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

McCormick. Briggs Opera House, W hite River Junction, 8:30 p.m. $16. Info, 295-5432. SO PR A N O RECITAL: Soprano Camellia Johnson sings poems o f Langston Hughes and Emily Dickinson in a daring demonstration o f musical range. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, N .H ., 8

Auditorium, 8 p.m. $14.50. Info, 800805-5559.

drama ‘FRANK ENSTEIN’: See January 24, 2 & 8 p.m. ‘A N N E FRANK’ A U D ITIO N S: A local playwright is seeking actors for a stage version of The D iary o f Anne Frank.

S a tu rd a y music

I M USICI DE M ONTREAL: The Mahler arrangement o f Schubert’s “Death and the Maiden” stands out in a collaborative concert with the Vermont Symphony Orchestra. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $11-31. Info, 8635966. A talk with conductor Yuli Turovsky begins at 6:30 p.m. V E R M O N T Y O U T H ORCHESTRA: A program o f “Natural Wonders” features Beethoven’s “Pastoral Symphony” and Reflections on the Hudson, by Nancy Bloomer Deussen. U -32 High School, E. Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3199. PIANO RECITAL: Charles Rosen per forms works by Brahms, Schubert and Handel in the Concert Hall, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. $9. Info, 443-6433. T H U N D E R M O U N T A IN BLUEGRASS: Traditional acoustic bluegrass is on tap, featuring “world class” guitar player Wayne Higgins. Neshobe Sportsman Club, Brandon, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 247-3275- A turkey and biscuit dinner starts at 5 p.m. CABIN FEVER M USIC SERIES: Ellis Paul, winner o f the Boston Acoustic Underground Com petition, shares a bill with poetic singer-songwrier Lisa

kids SILLY WILLY T H E JU G GLER: Folks over three make magic. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 1:302:15 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

etc STOW E W IN T E R CAR NIVAL: See January 24. A 15-kilometer cross-country ski race pushes off at 10 a.m. from the Trapp Family Lodge. You can enter or watch a snowshoe race at 11 a.m. at the Edson Hill Touring Center. Snowboard contest finals begin at 6 p.m. at the Midway Lodge. Top it all off with a free, kid-oriented village block party starting at 7 p.m. on Main Street. W IN T E R WELLNESS CARNIVAL: An aerobics class kicks o ff a day o f free swimming and tennis. Twin Oaks Sports & Fitness, S. Burlington, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 658-0001. V E R M O N T ICE BOWL: Discover disc g o lf — the North Calais way — at a benefit bowl for the Vermont Foodbank. North Calais, 9:30 p.m. $5 and a can o f food. Info, 8789000. IN TR O T O K UNDALIN I YOGA: Sat Purkha Singh teaches exercises, meditations, breathing and chanting designed to enerThe “mustct" are from Montreal, but the orchestral collabo gize and strengthen the ration is Vermont-made. Yuli Turovsky directs his chamber ensemble and members nervous system. Burlington Yoga Studio, 1-4 p.m. $25. o f the Vermont Symphony Orchestra in “Death and the Maiden, Saturday at the Register, 658-9642. ‘LO NG WALKS & H IG H Flynn Theatre. Works by Bach and Arensky will also be performed. PEAKS’: A slide show hosted by the Green Mountain Club focuses on p.m. $17.50. Info, 603-646-2422. Players o f all levels are welcome at the the mountains, people and culture o f Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 1-4 p.m. Pakistan. Dana Hall, Middlebury Free. Info, 223-5442. College, 7 p.m. $5. Reservations, 244CARIBBEAN D A N C E COMPANY: M IDDLEBURY C O M M U N IT Y 7307. See January 22, Lyndon Institute

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January

22,

1997

a rt GALLERY TALK: The curator o f a European mas ter drawing exhibit speaks on “Drawings: Docum ents o f Delight, Deceit and Despair.” H ood Museum o f Art, Hanover, N .H ., 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2808.

etc BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU PPO R T GROUP: See January 22, 9:30-11 p.m. STO W E W IN T E R CARNIVAL: Eleven days o f wacky, artistic and athletic events kick o ff with a youth hockey tournament at Jackson Arena, 5:15 p.m. Celebrate certain victory at an “opening night” toga party with live music by the M otown Revue. Rusty Nail, 8 p.m. $5. Watching most events is free. Info, 253-7321. W IN T E R W ELLNESS CARNIVAL: “Family gym play” is followed by a video. Tonight basketball, volleyball and swim ming are also free at Twin Oaks Sports & Fitness, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. Info, 658-0001. TEEN VARIETY SHOW : Storyteller Peter Burns hosts an evening o f potato jousting and performance art in a relaxed, drug-free atmosphere. Spectrum One Stop, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-5396. LESBIGAY Y O U T H SU PPO R T M EETING: Young lesbian, bisexual, gay and “questioning” folks are welcome. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

PLAYERS M EETING: Singers, dancers and actors o f all ages are wanted for a spring production o f Stephen Sondheim’s Follies. Get briefed on meaty roles for mature men and wom en, and great singing and dancing parts for younger types. Weybridge School, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 388-3345.

S E V E N DAYS

SKI TRIP: A difficult cross-country ski from StevensVille to Trapp Lodge will be shortened or canceled if the conditions aren’t right. Meet in Richmond at 8 a.m. Free. Register, 879-1457. SKI C EN TER TRIP: Bring lunch, snacks and water on a cross-country ski trip around Bolton Ski Resort. Meet in Montpelier, 8:30 a.m. Free except trail fee. Register, 479-2304.

S u n d a y music

V E R M O N T Y O U T H ORCHESTRA: See January 25, Flynn Theater, Burlington, 3 p.m. $8. Info, 863-5966. BRAZILIAN M USIC: Burlington’s sole samba troupe, Sambatucada, welcomes new recruits. Sara H olbrook Com m unity Center, Burlington, 3-5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-0300.

dram a ‘FR A N K EN STE IN ’: See January 24, 2 p.m. ‘A N N E FRANK’ A U D IT IO N S: See January 25, Northfield High School Auditorium. SHAKESPEARE A U D ITIO N S: Wherefore art thou, Romeo? The Fairfax Com m unity Players is seeking actors for a staged, C liff N ote performance o f Shakepeare scenes. Try out at the United Methodist Church, Fairfax, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 849-6638.

a rt GALLERY TALK: “Abstraction As Is: Current N ew York Painting” is followed by the opening reception for the related exhibit o f works by contemporary artists. Fleming Museum, U V M , Burlington, 2 p.m. $2. Info, 656-2090. FLORAL PERFORM ANCE ART: Dutch floral designer Dries Alberts cre ates art from natural objects in a dem on stration he calls “Earth to Spirit.” Hauke Center, Champlain College, Burlington, 2-4 p.m. $20. Info, 863-2300.

words JULIA ALVAREZ: T he Middlebury writer reads from and signs her latest book, jYo!. Chassman & Bern, Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

kids ‘C O STU M E S & C U S T O M S ’: Explore the outrageous outfits found in art and what they mean, then design a costume o f your own at the H ood Museum o f Art, Hanover, N .H ., noon - 5 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2814.

etc W ATERFRONT PROJECT: Com e to an informational open house to learn how you can participate in this art/per formance project with director Hannah Dennison. Wastewater Treatment Plant, bottom -of Maple St., Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 864-4705.

C ontinued on next page

Cl & 6 € & --- -~ ^ t------ *'^JJe7 ^ Theater, Route 100, 00, Waitsfield. Wajtsfield. $10. $10. Register, 4 9 6 -6 4 8866 . The — «»r — - taught -by actor Susan M arie Sny fo r her role as Julie on ““A A ss the the W W orld orld ie on

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H ill

6:30 p.m. Intermediates, 6:30-7:30 p.m. $8 per class. Info, 656-1636. Learn the Lindy Hop, the original style o f swing.

January 23, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Channel 17, Burlington. Free. Register, 862-3966. Learn the basics o f editing an d titling.

^ Z Z T s n i^ s J lh is T y o ^ lZ t chance to

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W O M E N H ELPING BATTERED W O M EN : Saturday & Sunday, January 25 26. Burlington. Donations. Register, 658-3131. G et trained to answer the hotline or help sheltered women an d children who are escaping abuse.

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SH EL BU R N E CRAFT SCH O O L: M orning, afternoon and evening classes at the Shelburne Craft School. Info, 985 -3 6 4 8 . Classes in woodworking, weavdraw r a n d sculpture are offered fo r children a n d adults.

HERBAL M O U T H CARE: Sunday, January 26, 1-4 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Burlington. $25. Register, 865HERB. G et the latest on fillin gs a n d floss in g an d hear about herbs fo r gums, teeth, cold sores an d bad breath. M ake mouth * potions, too.

oaffs

kung fu

FEET H AT M AK ING : Saturday, C H ’U A N FA K U N G FU: Tuesdays, 7January 25, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Frog 8:30 p.m. & Sundays, 4-5:30 p.m. HoUow> Middlebury. $58. Register, 388- . Earth ^ , u , Dance Healing * « * ,„ ,* «Arts , i*.* ukuu , Studio, 3177. Using colored M erino wool, you ’l l Burlington. $40 per m onth. Info, 860m m oisture, heat, soap an d pressure to 1443. Practice a m artial a rt rooted in ssculpt eu h t a w a rm w in te hat ___/ ... warm terr hat. spiritu al an d physical training. A ll ages an d abilities are welcome.

computers

DATABASES: Wednesday, January 22, 6-8 p.m. Department o f Employment & Training, Burlington. Free to unem ployed people and O ld North End resi dents. Register, 8 60-4057. A L D U S PAGEMAKER: Four sessions start Monday, January 27. North --_ O ld------End Com m unity Tech Center, 860-4057.

6-8:30 P-m - $ 1 1 9 ‘ Info’

llill

meditation

VIPASSANA M EDITATIO N: Sundays, 10-11 a.m. Burlington Yoga Studio. Free. Info, 658-YOGA. M EDITA TIO N: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambaia Center. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian a n d Tibetan B uddhist practices. ij

parenting ‘LEARNING IN C H IL D H O O D ’S R n n v > . Six e ; „ Saturdays, — , r------------.c BODY*: January 25, February & March 8 & 22, April 19, 9

woodworking

DAYTIM E B E G IN N IN G W O O D W O RK ING : Thursdays, January 23 April 24, 2:30-4 p.m. The Wood School, Burlington. Info, 864-4454. Learn woodworking a t a nice, easy pace. The focus is on hand tools. TE EN W O O D W O R K IN G : Thursdays, January 23 - April 24, 45:30 p.m. p.m. The Wood School, Burlington. Info, 864-4454. Girls an d boys over 12 learn hand tool skills while m aking a high W indsor stool.

writing W RITER'S W O RK SH O P: Tuesdays, 7 p.m. Blue Couch Cafe, Burlington. Donations. Info, 865-5066. Take a jo u r n al an d you r w riting spirit. VOQd YOGA: Afternoons, evenings & weekends. Beecher H ill Yoga, Hinesburg. Info, 482-3191. Classes include “Yogafo r H ealth an d W ellbeing ” “Yogafo. u™ < * Pregnancy, ‘"an d “Fam ily Yoga. ’’Private instruction an d therapeutic yoga are avail able by appointm ent. YOGA & M EDITATIO N: Fridays, 7-9 p.m. O ld Brick Church, Williston. $10. Info, 879-4195. S tart you r weekend off‘in

STOW E W IN T E R CARNIVAL: See January 24. Hockey begins at 7 a.m. A telemark race begins at 11 a.m. at Stowe Mountain Resort. A free kids-only carni val at Stowe Elementary School, which includes many winter sports events, runs 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. W IN TER W ELLNESS CARNIVAL: Today enjoy free swimming and tennis at Twin Oaks Sports &c Fitness, S. Burling ton, 8 a .m ,, 8 p.m. Info, 658-0001. M ARTIN LUTH ER KING BIRTH DAY: Dr. Horace Judson shares his thoughts — and King’s dreams — at Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 4 p.m. $5. Info, 862-2409. IN TR O T O MASSAGE THERAPY: Mark Adams and Niko Pruesse share strategies around giving and receiving therapeutic massage. Burlington Yoga Studio, 1-4 p.m. $20. Register with a friend, 658-9642. SN O W SH O E TRIP: Bring warm clothes, lunch, water and snowshoes on a winter hike to the snowy summit o f Camel’s Hump. Meet in Burlington at 8 a.m. Free. Register, 863-2433.

mo nda y music

O PE N REHEARSAL: Women lend their vocal chords to a harmonious rehearsal o f the Champlain Echoes. S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6703.

d a n c e N E W DANCE PERFORMANCE: Dutch dancers Karin Post and Pieter de Ruiter combine forces in a high-speed humorous deut, “Vavoom.” Irene Stamou, from Montreal, shows her new solo work about passions and ecstasies o f the flesh. Flynn Stage, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $14. Info, 863-5966.

dram a M IDDLEBURY C O M M U N IT Y PLAYERS M EETING: See January 25. Tonight auditions start at Middlebury Union High school, 7 p.m. LYRIC A U D IT IO N W O RK SH O P: Interested in getting Into the Woods*. Pre audition workshops in acting, dancing and singing help you prepare. Williston Central School, 7-10 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6827.

iv e r d s L I S T y o U R C L A S S : Fellow the format, in c lu d in g a w it h

to 2C word d escrip tiv e ic n t c n c e . M a il c r walk it in.

for one week c r $ i 5 for a month, by the Thursday before publicatio n. Free cla s s e s a re listed without charge.

BO O K DISC U SSIO N : Nancy Nahra makes an example o f A M other an d Two Daughters to demonstrate how writers go about creating memorable characters. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338.

kids ‘K N O W IN G S N O W ’: Preschoolers learn about the white stuff through craft ing, singing, stories, games and outdoor explorations. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 10-11:30 a.m. $11. Register, 457-2779.

C TC STO W E W IN T E R CARNIVAL: See January 24. A take-off on “Hollywood Squares” starts at the Rusty Nail at 8 p.m. $5. ‘B E N E D IC T A R N O L D O N LAKE C H A M PLA IN ’: After two summers as a patriot and a Revolutionary War hero, why did he throw it all away? Willard Randall talks treason in the Old Brick Church, W illiston, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 479-9371. ‘PROFESSIONAL BO XING IN VER M O N T ’: Boxing used to be big in Vermont — earlier this century, it was part o f every town fair and exhibition. Robert Winkler explains why in a lecture sponsored by the Center for Research on Vermont. Memorial Lounge, UV M , 4 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4389. FAIRBANKS M USEU M M EETING: Vermont Life editor Tom Slayton gets an award before a talk by Gainor Davis on the museum business. Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 5:30 p.m. $20. Reservations, 748-2372. TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get information, supplies, screening and treatment for sexually related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 863-6326. E M O T IO N S A N O N Y M O U S: People with depression, anxiety and other em o tional problems meet at the O ’Brien Center, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 660-9036.

fuesday m usic

O PE N REHEARSAL: The Amateur Musicians Orchestra welcomes new play ers, especially ones with brass instru ments. N o audition is required. Music Room, S. Burlington High School, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 985-9750.

dram a M IDDLEBURY C O M M U N IT Y PLAYERS M EETING : See January 25. Tonight audition at Middlebury Union High school, 7 p.m. LYRIC A U D IT IO N S: Interested in get ting Into the Woods? Auditions start today for almost two dozen fairytale parts, including Cinderella, Rapunzel, Red

Th e Verm ont Sym phony O rchestra Presents

I M u s ic i d e w it h

V e r m

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o n t r e a l

b e r s

o f t h e

o n t S y m

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C L A S S E

O r c h e s t r a J a n u a ry 2 5 F ly n n T h e a tr e Saturday, January 25 at 8 pm Yuli Turovsky, Conductor L. Edvin Csury, Violinist

BACH:

B randenburg C oncerto No. 6

ARENSKY:

Violin C oncerto in A M inor

(Vermont premiere of famous masterpiece!)

SCHUBERT:

“ Death and the M aiden”

(Rare performance of orchestral version arranged by Mahler!)

Th e response to last seaso n ’s a p p ea ra n ce of I Musici w as so enthusiastic, the V S O is bringing th em b ack to Burlington! T h e y ’ll perform th e exciting orchestral version of S c h u b e rt’s “D eath and th e M a id e n ,” ^arranged by G u stav M a h ler in 1 8 94. M e m b ers o f the V S O join f Musici for th e Arensky Violin C oncerto. Tickets are on sale now from the V S O TicketLin e (8 6 4 -5 7 4 1 ext. 12) and th e Flynn T h eatre B ox O ffice (8 6 3 -5 9 6 6 ).

YER

CHARGE YOURTICKETSBY PHONE: 864-5741

Marbled Paper for Kids Sat. I-3 p m , Feb. 8

Stained Glass Lamp Making Sat. 9 am-5 pm, Feb. 8

L yric T heatre

Intro to Stained Glass

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Tues., Wed., & Thurs., Jan. 28,29 & 30 7-10 p.m. at Williston Central School. The cast includes Cinderella, Rapunzel, Red Ridinghood, the Wolt, the Baker & his Wife, Jack (of beanstalk fame), two Princes Charming, the Witch and many others. For m ore inform ation call Pat at 8 6 0 -6 8 2 7 . P roduction dates are April 1 7-20 at the Flynn T heatre. T ick ets are on sa le n ow .

page

S E V E N DAYS

january

2 2,

1997

Ridinghood and the Wolf. W illiston Central School, 7 -10 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6827.

Civic Center, 9 a.m. r 6 p.m. Free. Info, 828-3823.

film T O U R IN G FILMMAKERS SERIES: Vermont filmmakers Jay Craven, Nora Jacobson and David Giancola show short works and discuss reel life at this opening night. College o f St. Joseph Playhouse, Rutland, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 6 60-2600.

HOLY TRINITY Awardwinning Dutch choreog rapher Pieter de Ruiter blends ballet and expres sionism in Three — one

Wilder film stars Jack Lemmon, Marilyn Monroe and Tony Curtis. Waterbury Senior Center, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 244-6648.

xv o r d s B O O K DISC U SSIO N : Nancy Nahra uses The Great G illy Hopkins by Vermont author Katherine Paterson and Philip Levine’s W hat Work Is to demonstrate effective character development. S. Burlington Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. ‘LITERATURE O F RUSSIAN LIFE’: Thomas Beyer leads a discussion o f We by Evgeni Zamiatin. Warren Library, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 496-4205.

kids TE EN PARENT-CHILD GROUP: See January 22. STORY TIME: Kids under three also hear songs at 11 a.m. Three- to five-yearolds also craft at 10 a.m. Fletcher Library, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORIES: Children listen while they eat snacks and make crafts at the Children’s Pages, W inooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

etc

o f a trio o f “New Dance”works by emerg ing choreographers show ing Monday at the Flynn. board works. Grunberg Haus, Duxbury, 7:30 p.m. $10. Reservations, 244-7726.

kids ‘BABIES 1 & 2 ’: A parent-child play group meets at the Wheeler School, Burlington, 11:30 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. ‘FATHERS & C H IL D R E N T O G E T H E R ’: Spend quality time with your kids and other dads at the Wheeler School, Burlington, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. STORY H O U R : Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activi ties. M ilton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

etc STOW E W IN T E R CARNIVAL: See January 24. They can cook, but can they ski? Local restaurant employees compete in teams at 11:30 a.m. V E R M O N T FARM SHOW : Displays fill three floors o f two huge buildings in a farmer-oriented show o f agricultural interest. All are welcome at the Barre

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‘FREE SPIRIT DA N C E’: See January 22. C O N T A C T IMPROV: See January 22. D A N C E CO M PANY OF MIDDLEBURY: Professor Andrea Olsen makes a connection between her fathers Alzheimer’s disease and the ailing Earth in Crossing Over. Dance Theatre, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. $4. Info, 443-6433.

Friday

^ B O W L

LYRIC A U D IT IO N S: See January 28. ‘GIM PEL T H E FOOL’: Based on a short story by Isaac Bashevis Singer, this operatic outgrowth o f a winter-term class features faculty, student and community talent. The com munity performs at Wright Theatre, Middlebury College, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

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S T U D Y NIGH T: See January 22. O U T R IG H T M E N ’S GROUP: See January 22. V E R M O N T FARM SHOW: See January 28, 9 a.m. - 9 p.m. STOW E W IN T E R CARNIVAL: See January 24. Watch Stowe and Sugarbush skiers race at noon. A wacked pre-snowgolf party begins at 8 p.m. at the Rusty Nail. V E R M O N T FARM SHOW: See January 28. SEW ING NIGH T: Need help with a sewing project? Bring your machine — and supplies — to the Com munity Center in Jericho, 6:30-9 p.m. $5. Info, 899-9931. LABOR PARTY M EETING: The Vermont chapter meets to establish bylaws, and discuss actions and regional meetings. Teamsters Hall, Barre, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 223-4172.

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endorsed. hope ithelps,” sai< Cloning administrator F Dunnington, who has < ed nights and weekend college’s growth plans f past year, on top q f hfs workdays. “Aside from we have a good workin tionship with the colle^ do business quietly all x time. This will all take : time to heal/’ a

January

22,

1997

B ill B utler finds a new way to go

downhill

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SilagftS I ; mk l l l l i l i I n MS66Norway’sSm idreNotheim I demonstrated the telemark turns that m still inspire pinheads everywhere to gen uflect at the altar of the snow gods. A hun dred years later, Howard Head performed a modern miracle by transforming skis from wood boards to metal tools, helping to popularize the sport in America. Today, rid ers the world over give thanks and praise to Vermont’s adopted son, Jake Burton Carpenter, for his pioneering work with snowboards. This year, all three groups of alpine enthusiasts — telemarkers, skiers and snowboarders — may intone the name of

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

BUI B u M fi> m d w his new prod, :ler and the Teleboard. ler, a Jericho jewelry designer with a f EoiStcin-like brown bjut, is ready:. n the alpine world with a new carv[|§?ij|£ived in the Green tins. The product, dubbed the

snowboarding. Adorned S with a simple snowflake graphic, the Teleboard combines a design B innovation with a retro look compatible with its historic roots, y Borrowing the single platform of a snowboard and the narrow waist of a ski, 1the flexible wood-laminate boards employ < telemark bindings mounted one behind the other, similar fo the set-up found on a slalom water ski. In fact, the first Teleboard was built to satisfy Butler’s desire for a water ski with edges. “My nephews and I used to say, wouldn’t it be great if you could water ski down a mountain?’” Butler I^Say?. I^st yean a production mistake by Martin Fey, his snowboard-building ^ l^ ||W y ;® ih S h e d a short chain of events that led to the realizam tion of their dream. Fey created the first Teleboard when he accidentally cut a * snowboard too narrow m * to accommodate tra it ditional snowboard T, bindings. Instead of trashing the board, he decided to build the “water ski with edges” his uncle had been pestering him about. With a natural prod uct tester right in the family — Fey’s brothk er Erik, a ski and ^ snowboard instructor — the Teleboard pro totypes and tech niques were perfected .... ust last spring at Cillington.

weeks with a team of young . riders demonstrating for scores of first-timers and onlookers. W hat they discover is a synthesis of alpine and nordic techniques that meld into a rhythmic dance on snow. Teleboarders use poles and assume the telemark position, much like their twoskied counterparts. Bound to a single plat form, they transfer weight from edge to edge, using the upper body and hip angula tion common to snowboarding. The differ ence, riders say, is that the raised tear foot can also be used to “rudder” turns through powder and the bumps. “Where it shines is the fact that, edge to edge, it’s faster than a snowboard,” Butler claims. “You have the quickness of the nar row waist, but the suppleness of a single platform. No ski and no snowboard can keep up with the Teleboard in the bumps.” One thing’s for sure: No ski — not even the new super-sidecuts — and no board can keep up with the curiosity of onlookers when Butler pulls out his Teleboard, as he did recently at Bolton Valley. Comments range from the snowboarders’ “it’s gotta be a bitchin’ wipeout,” to a ski instructor’s “this might just catch on. Butler agrees. Skiers looking for new challenges and the benefits of a single plat form, he argues, will find teleboarding a more accessible cross-over sport than snow boarding. Snowboarders, conversely, can enjoy a faster turning design and more dynamic movement, thanks to the free-heel bindings. The pioneering Butler doesn’t claim to have found something to supplant skiing nor snowboarding. But he’s confident that he and his nephews are on to something. “We’re all looking for the ultimate j-ide,” Butler concludes, “and this is the next step.” □

The next Teleboard Demo Day is Sunday, February 2, at the Bolton Valley Winter Carnival. created and patented hill mobility. “We’re e we’re building this ays. ozen hand-built — none are yet avail e d shops — Butler

and his nephews h;

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OTHER; PORTRAITS OF MULTIRACIAL FAMI LI ES, photographs by Gigi Kaeser with text by Peggy Gillespie. Living/Learning Gallery, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-4200. Reception January 22, 4-6 p.m. MAS KYA- L I N, a group exhibit in mixed media exploring the concept of masculinity. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 863-3360. Reception January 23, 7-9 p.m. LABOR OF LOVE: THE UNIQUE WORLD VIEW OF SELF-TRAINED A R T I S T S . A mixedmedia exhibit. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Reception January 24, 6-7:30 p.m. RE: FAB PAINTING ABSTRACTED, FABRICATED AND REVISED, featuring work by 15 con temporary New York painters. Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-0750. Lecture and reception January 26, 2 p.m. PAPER ARTS, featuring collage, two- and three-dimensional works by students, faculty and alumni. Community Room Gallery, Burlington College, 862-9616. Reception January 29, 6-8 p.m.

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January

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1997

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n the dream world of Jerome Couelle, fish walk on spindly black legs, cows have human faces and Le Chousarou (aka Champ) is a goofy snake gliding on Lake Champlain. His current exhi bition at Clarke Galleries in Stowe recalls the work of Joan Miro or Henri Rousseau, but is masterful in its own right. Couelle playfully explores the uncharted territory between illustration and paint ing, realism and abstraction. He manipulates perspective, places images in diagrammatic patterns, and uses intensely bright colors. His fields look flat, his buildings like distorted cubes. Animals defy gravity. Fish climb trees. Bugs are everywhere. With his graphic arrows, magic holes in the sky and words in a melange of lan guages, Couelle powerfully conjures a surrealistic universe. Nature is the subject of

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West Africa and Mexico. His father was an architect who designed houses for Picasso and Miro. Since he began showing his work in 1967, the seventyish Couelle has exhibited in the urban centers of Europe as well as in Montreal and Woodstock. His works are included in corporate collec tions on both sides of the Atlantic. He has also written and illustrated children’s books. Though a self-taught artist, Couelle paints with consum mate skill. Every drop of paint matters; his economy of style and his precision is astonish ing. “The Volume of Silence” is remarkable not just for its understated subject — a group of indistinct gray farm build ings nestled in the snow — but for its sky. A rosy blush penetrates the translucent gray ness of it so perfectly, it is as though Couelle’s pigment comprises snow, cloud and sun.

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“The Flower Patch, ” by Jerome Couelle every painting here, and its multifarious forms are vital. A human presence is merely implied, with houses, barns and boats, and appears to be irrelevant. Couelle’s animals are like totems; the sky is unfathomably transparent; flowers are like extraterrestrial creatures, full of root and bloom and leaf never before seen. If some of the settings in Couelle’s whimsical oil paint ings seem familiar, they are. The artist divides his time between Toronto and North Hero. But he’s an international painter not just by straddling the U.S.-Canada border; he’s French-born and has also lived in Germany, Italy, Algeria, Jerome C o u e l l e Paintings,

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Champ earnestly peers up at cows on an island in “Encounter with the Chousarou on the Shore of Lake Champlain.” The beast’s snake-like body is bulgy; the cows stare suspiciously at him through crossed eyes. White boats like the kind children make float on the lake. In “Going of Now,” a sail boat on wheels seems to be making its way to the left, while arrows point left and up. Other boats are ascending toward the sky, passed by a golden, shooting star. In “Unsuspected Effect of Global Warming in Vermont,” nature goes haywire; fish are running, trees are covered with epi phytes, cats are smoking pipes. Couelle’s paintings speak of what he calls “the space between things which the ani mals and the children never stop seeing.” It’s a refreshing space for an adult to revisit. □

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evening news was Nyquil as far as J, my mother, sister and brother were concerned. We were happy to let him have the living room to himself. Well, I’m older now than he was then. Bryant Gumbel has bid us adieu; Cronkite has written his memoirs. Only recently have I picked up the torch (or rather, the remote) and discovered the joy of clear ing a room by turning on the evening news. How the other Kisonaks scatter at the first slurry hint of Tom Brokaw’s voice. As reliably as the “Barney” theme brings my daughter from the furthest reaches of our home, the music introducing the “ABC World News with Peter Jennings” is guaranteed to send her hurtling away. And that’s only one of the public services the evening news provides. Nonetheless, it just isn’t what it used to be. Something’s missing, and, after lots of deep media-critic analy sis, I’ve figured out what that is: the news. Whether due to competi tion from a growing number of 24-hour cable news chan nels or to viewer apathy, the news departments of the big three appear to be phasing out of the news business and into the television magazine racket. Have you tuned into the NBC

evening news lately? I defy you to tell me the difference between Tom Brokaw’s news cast and an episode of “Dateline.” Long gone are the clatter of the busy newsroom set and the anchor desk. Brokaw delivers his lines a la Jane Pauley, surrounded by designer swankiness and stand ing before an oversized TV monitor, over which “reports from “correspondents” are played. Though each network’s broadcast runs 30 minutes, the actual “news” portion of the show is often a summary of the day’s headlines wrapped up by the first commercial break. And forget about the rest of the world. Except for periodic hostage situations and the occasional update on Boris Yeltsin’s liver, we hardly ever learn what’s going on beyond our borders anymore. And whether the headlines are for eign or domestic, you can forget about detail and analysis; it’s sound-byte city. The tradition of an informed jour;^oiJi,st providing /perspective on events, and issues of broad conse quence may well have died with the eloquent John Chancellor. These days the lion’s share of a network newscast is likely to be taken up by shorter ver sions of the kind of pieces which once were the sole domain of magazine shows like “20/20” or “60 Minutes.” Lifestyle issues. Hidden camera investigations. Celebrity-driven packages. And everybody’s favorite: The disease-of-theweek story. Geraldo Rivera once appeared the worst sort of panderer. Turns out he was just ahead of his time. Today net work news shows are routinely built around “up-to-theminute reports” whether or not there is anything new to report. The important thing is the network has a juicy tabloid teaser at the top of the broad cast, and bigger numbers translate to more lucrative ad rates, and those babies are the bottom line because this is business. Like I’m breaking this news to you. I wonder what Edward R. Murrow would say if he caught a typical broadcast of network news today. Or, for that mat ter, my own father. Something tells me a can of Ballantine wouldn’t cut it — he’d have to fix himself a good stiff drink. □

January

22,

1997

IHE HOYTS CINEMAS

FILM THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

Welcome once again to the version of our game in which we select eight wellknown movies and replace their titles with a word or phrase which means exact ly the same thing as the original. What we'd like you to do, of course, is identify all 10.

NEW AND IMPROVED

ORIGINAL

1. PRECIPITATION PERSON ___________ 2. BLAZING BUGGIES ___________ 3. MIDDLE NAME OF MAESTRO ___________ 4. BLAMED ___________ 5. THE RENTAL UNIT ___________ 6. THE THING WITH 88 KEYS ___________ 7. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LEAVE IT BEHIND ___________ 8. WHICH PEOPLE FEAR THE WRITER OF TO THE LIGHTHOUSE? ___________ 9. BOUQUET OF A BABE ___________ 10. HABITAT HO ___________ BONUS QUESTION (ONE LUCKY WINNER WILL RECEIVE DINNER FOR TWO AT CARBUR'S): WHAT DO ALL OF THE ABOVE FILMS HAVE IN COMMON? ANSWER: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

of directing pwformdhcemnverge on the ^ simultaneously. When it does occur, its like a slap across the face with a metal gkr^'^t-hdisife^a- lift in an oven fpf an hour d f t / ' « >“j |p j||||jie a lly that. ’</* '■£ Scott Hicks o f Australian pianist D a v id '/'/: Helfgott. Helfgott was a child prodigy who endured a complex rela tionship with his fadier, a survivor of the Holocaust (played spendidly by Armin Mueller-Stahi). A frustrated musician, the senior Helfgott pushed his son toward greatness, but ultimately refused to release the boy from his smothering embrace. W hen opportunities arose to study in the musical capitals o f the world, the young man was, in essence, forbidden to leave his room. The story o f his personal fight for freedom and the psychic wounds he may have sustained — he was to spend 20 years in a mental hospital — makes for one of the most literate, moving, ALL KEYED UP Shine tells the true poetically charged and surprisingly funny films about the life o f an story o f a pianist who suffers a artist ever committed to celluloid. mental collapse and returns to\ Geoffrey Rush, who portrays Helfgott as an adult, snagged a Best Actor Golden Globe last Sunday in spite o f being almost play another day.t unheard o f in the U.S. A noted Australian stage actor, Rush slams together the ecstasy of a musical genius with the shell-shock o f a soul the sweetness o f a child with the force o f a particle accelerator. The result is a character unlike anything seen on the screen before. In his acceptance speech, the actor paid tribute to director Hicks for “taking a figure from the mar gins o f our experience and putting him at the heat o f the narrative.” Rush deserves no small pan of the

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Don't Jorget to watch T he Good, The Bad & The BoJJo!" on your local previewguide channel

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK

SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495 FAX: 658-3929 BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW 4-6 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES.

THE PEOPLE VS. LARRY FLYNT** Milos Forman directs, and Oliver “conspiracy theory” Stone produces, this faux docu-drama about the publisher of Husder — played by Woody harrelson — and his alleged First Amendment crusade all the way to the Supreme Court. Are we so low on heroes in this country that were actually expected to take this weasel seriously as one? Courtney Love convincingly plays— getitb is ^ ^ M d in g -a d d lc d w M T * B E V E R i Y ^ S p ^ N I t i P ! NR ) Not since John Belushi accidentally sliced off a chunk o f Buck Henry’s ear during an SNL samurai sketch has so improbable a martial artist picked up a sword. Chris Farley plays a young man raised by a Japanese ninja after being mistaken for a reincarnated master. Chris Rock co-stars. PORTRAIT OF A LADY (NR) Jane ( The Piano) Campion brings the Henry James book to the big screen with fellow Aussie Nicole Kidman in the role of an American who embarks on a journey of selfdiscovery across Europe. W ith Barbara Hershey and John Malkovich. METRO ( NR) Or, more accurately, perhaps, San Francisco Cop. Eddie Murphy makes a return to for mula as a fast-talking police officer saddled with a mismatched rookie partner and responsibility for sav ing the city from yet another frothing celluloid psycho. W ith Michael Rapaport. THE CRUCIBLE (NR) Arthur Miller adapted his 1953 classic about the Salem witch-hunts for this meticulously faithful adaptation courtesy o f Nicholas {The Madness o f King George) Hytner. Featuring Daniel Day-Lewis, Winona Ryder and Paul Scofield. THE RELIC (NR) The names “Penelope Ann Miller” and “Tom Sizemore” may be the only ones above the tide, but the real star of this horror story is effects legend Stan Winston, who designed the whatever-it-is responsible for a rash of gruesome murders in a Chicago natural history museum.

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N R - n e t review e d

660-5545 C o m er of B attery &Main S t. Burlington N e w A r r iv a ls ! -The Lodger'Bagdad Cafe *Captives • She’s S a fe *Rude Chinese Action Cinem a T itle s *S cen t of Green Papaya f

SHOWTI MCS Films ru n Friday, January 24 through Thursday, January 30.

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. One Fine Day 12, 2:30, 6:30, 9:05. Star Trek: First Contact 12:10, 2:45, 6:40, 9:15. Beavis & Butthead 12:30, 3:10, 7:05, 9:35. Jingle All the Way 12:20, 3, 6:50, 9:25. Evening shows daily; all shows Sat. - Sun.

CINEMA NINE The best place to browse! Check out: Directors, Foreign, Offbeat, Cheese Parade, Classics, Documentaries, Oscar Winners, FilmNoir and more! THE

STUFF

G O DZI L

January

2 2,

1997

Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 In Love and War* 12:20, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. Fierce Creatures* 12, 2:15, 4:15, 6:55, 9:50. Metro 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40. Beverly Hills Ninja 12:25, 2:25, 4:25, 7:10, 10. The Relic 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. The People vs. Larry Flynt 12:35, 3:35, 6:35, 9:35. Michael 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:50. Jerry Maguire 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. 101 Dalmations 1:05, 4. Jackie Chan’s First Strike 7, 9:55. Ail shows daily.

S E V E N DAYS

D O

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. Fierce Creatures* 12:50, 3:40, 6:50, 9:25. Zeus & Roxanne* 12:45, 3:30, 7. Turbulence 9:30. Metro 1, 3:50, 6:40, 9:20. The Relic 1:10, 4:10, 7:15, 9:45. Scream 1:20, 4, 7:05, 9:35. Evening shows Tues. Fri., all shows Sat. - Sun.

NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Breaking the Waves* 1:50, 5:10, 8:30. The Garden of Finzi-Continis* 2:10, 4:30, 7:15, 10. Portrait of a Lady 1:40, 9:30. Shine 1:15, 3:45, 6:40, 9:15. Evita 1, 4, 7, 9:45. The Crucible 1:30, 4:15, 6:50. English Patient 4:45, 8:10. All shows daily.

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THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Surviving Picasso* 6:30, 8:50. Sat. & Sun. 2. * S tarts Friday. M ovie tim es su bject to change. Please call the theater to confirm.

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January 23-29

ARIES (Mar. 2 1 -Apr. 19): Are you ; just another ordinary sinner? O r are you a gifted innovator w h o should have license to stretch the rules n ow ; and then? Are you sim ply another on e i o f us survivors grubbing for a little j m ore m oney, security, and love? O r , are you a zealous seeker w h ose thirst j for w isd om is so righteous that it : deserves special dispensations? H a! j Trick questions! D id you fall for m y ruse? In fact, Aries, you are, at on e tim e or another, all o f the above. It’s true, however, that y o u ’re currently in ; a phase w h en your predom inant roles I should be the gifted innovator and the zealous seeker.

jTAURUS

(Apr. 2 0 -M ay 20): If l you ’d like on e o f the nuns o f St. John Bosco to say a little prayer for you i every day this year, you have to donate $ 1 0 0 to their group, the l Salesian Sisters. If, on the other hand, l you want m y team o f Prayer Warriors i to argue w ith G od in your behalf, I w e’ll do it for you absolutely free. JThis is, I rem ind you, the prim e tim e i o f the year for you Taureans to issue (your dem ands to the D iv in e Source f — as well as to h u m b ly beg for [(assistance and in terven tion . M ail your ; requests to Prayer Warriors, P.O. Box 1 1 5 0 2 4 7 , San Rafael, C A 9 4 9 1 5 . | •' ; GEMINI (M ay 2 1 -June 20): It w ou ld b e a g o o d w eek to try d oin g "handstands o n barstools and to challenge nem eses to arm -wrestling m atches and to co m e to w ork w ith hickeys o n your neck and shoulder. It ' w ouldn’t be such a great tim e to give

CANCER (June 21-July 22): H arper’s m agazine recently reproduced a w arning given to junior high school students in Tallahassee before a school dance. I take the liberty o f publishing it in your horoscope this w eek because I’m very certain you should do the exact op p osite o f everything it says. H ere it is. “N o spoon dancing, no hip grinding against another student, no kissing, n o hands below the waist, no riding on another’s back, no conga dancing, no throw ing som eon e in the air, no being passed around bodily by a group, no slam dancing, and no jum p in g around on top o f others.” LEO

(July 23-A ug. 22): “Separation anxiety” is a term used by psycho logists to refer to the distress a baby feels w h en its m om m y or main caretaker is gon e too long. W e all experienced that primordial worry. For m ost o f us, it becam e an archetypal source o f trauma w hich is touched, even w hen w e’re adults, by any event w hich vaguely stim ulates the fear o f being abandoned. By m y astrological reckoning, Leo, you’ve b een h avin g to deal w ith separation anxiety to an uncom fortable degree lately. But I believe you ’re about to find a cure.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): O n m ore than o n e occasion in the last few years, you ’ve rem inded m e o f the ancient R om an h oly m an St. S im eon

you the right to be considered for sainthood. H aving said all that, though, I’m afraid I’m goin g to have to ask you n ow to lay aside your sacrificial shtick. Your astrological aspects are just too good to justify you d oin g the iron collar thing any longer. L I B R A (Sept. 23-O ct. 22): Studies sh ow that a substantial percentage o f child h ood traumas occur during recess at school. There on the playground, where adult supervision is lax and pent-up energy is explosively released, is when peer pressure often exacts its crudest torm ents. T h in k back n ow to any events in your ow n life when other children inflicted deep w ounds on your tender psyche; bring that pain all the way up to the conscious level. There’s an abundance o f healing in the air this week, and I predict it w ill show you exactly what to do in order to repair the ancient damage. S C O R P I O ( O a 23-N ov. 21): You can stay out all night partying and playing chicken w ith your fears, but I w ou ld n ’t recom m end it. You can jum p in to battle m ode at the slightest sign o f agitation and have fun m essing w “ h everX gossiPy distraction that tickles a nerve, b ut I beg you not to. I f I had m y way, Scorpio, you ’d retreat

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sanctuary for ta‘*c w ‘t” yo u rse lf.1 you rself w ith feathers ab ou t what Y ° ^ be doin g in 10

people kind o f week, Sagittarius. Adon’t-sneak-up-from -behind-and-yellb oo kind o f week. Keep a very light touch and put a heavy em phasis on subtlety. C ock your ear and sleep with on e eye open, if possible. C over your ass at least tw o different ways, and hide im portant secrets in the equivalent o f a C hinese box w ithin a C hinese box w ithin a C hinese box. G ot all that? At the sam e tim e, however, I urge you to remain blithe and light-hearted and casual. T h a t’ll be the perfect disguise for all your cagey strategy.

CAPRICORN (D ec 22-Jan. 19): Surveys show that 60 percent o f all liberals regularly consult newspaper horoscopes, whereas o n ly 38 percent o f conservatives do. In the case o f m y colu m n, the statistics are even m ore extreme. Upwards o f 7 5 percent o f m y readers are bleeding heart leftw ing pagan tantric fem inists. I certainly d on ’t hold it against you if you d on ’t fit that dem ographic, though. And it’s likely that as a Capricorn, you d o n ’t. But just to prove I love you as m uch as all m y wacko co m m ie fans, I’m g o in g to slip you the fo llo w in g inside dope: If you really m ust act like an acquisitive, power-hungry, m oneygrubbing, m acho individualist, th e n ext few w eeks are a relatively karmafree tim e to d o it.

stage, a baby lam b wanders out. It raises its head to sn iff curiously and then turns to face the audience, provoking a titter that quickly swells to a gale o f laughter. W hereupon you wake from your dream and wonder, “W h at the hell was that all about?” Later you read this astrology colu m n, where I tell you the baby lam b is, for all intents and purposes, your version o f the S econd C om ing.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): M y astrological research indicated to m e that the W o lf M o o n , w hich is now upon us, w ou ld m ess w ith your grip on reality m ore than any other lunar event in 1997. To prepare, I did research on cures for full m oon lunacy. Here are a few. (1) Balance an apple on top o f your head w hile leafing through either Carl Sagan’s The D em on H au n ted W orld upside dow n and chanting “I am not k ooky” exactly 33 tim es. (2) Place one foot in a bubble bath and the other in a bucket o f red w in e w hile visualizing you rself w aving bye-bye to your m other. (3) Put on all red clothes and run up and dow n a flight o f stairs 10 tim es w hile listen in g to a tape o f Johnny Cash d oin g a dramatic reading o f Kahlil Gibran. □

You c a n c a l l R o b B r e z s n y . d a y o r n ig h t to r y o u r

expanded w e e k ly h o ro s c o p e

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A roll sounds and rhe crowd ■ X & t-X<v4y £ -- X {> -v xG , , . a

1 -9 0 0 -9 0 3 -2 5 0 0 $ 1 .9 9 p e r m in u te . 18 a n d o v e r. T o u c h to n e p h o n e . U p d a te d T u e sd a y n ig h t.

1 real estate R SALE: BEAUTIFUL BIN-LIKE home in foothills of ta Ana, CA. Wide-plank floors, :loft, swimming pool w/ real rock, jknotting-pine attic, huge fireplace. |Wooded acreage. Available in one [year. $1,000,000. Call 714-573|9835, ask for Janice.

[GOV’T f o r e c l o s e d h o m e s jfrom pennies on $ 1. Delinquent Itax, repo’s, REO’s. Your area. Tollfree, 1-800-218-9000, Ext. H-6908 [for current listings.

looking for a place PROF F A N D 2 WELL BEHAVED, amazing golden ■retrivers seek dog friendly home to share with M/F. Burlington/New North End preferred. 660-9362.

housemates BURLINGTON: Sunny apt. w/ lake views, parking, wood floors, abundant flora, W /D , quiet neigh bors, lg. yard w/ organic garden, [hibernating flower beds. If mature S&: seeking decent accomodations jfor $240 + dep./utiis.jtcall 863124.

£‘BURLINGTON: Roommate wantJed Feb. 1 in quiet, beautiful, eclec tic household on So. Winooski Ave. •Off street parking, no pets. j$275/mo., includes utils. 658J4256.

BURLINGTON: ISO housemate to share small 2 bdrm. house. Quiet downtown location, offstreet park ing. No drugs, smoking outside. $312.50 + 1/2 utils. Gas heat. Available Feb. 1. Call 862-4041. BURLINGTON: Responsible, NS F wanted for 3 bdrm. home in quiet, Howard St. neighborhood. Great living space, big yard, W /D, porch. $225/mo. + 1/3 utils. Call 660-2417.

1 Classifieds *tt» ^■ MN

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BURLINGTON: Quiet, consider ate, NS prof, to share house on lake until June L Private bath & entrance, share kitchen, no pets. $350 + 1/2 utils. Peggy, 865-2317. MALLETTS BAY: great location near lake, 3 bdrm., 1 1/2 baths. $265/mo. + 1/3 utils. 879-3536. SHELBURNE: Roommate or cou ple to share half of house in coun try setting (vegetarian preferred). Share kitchen, dining rm. Includes 3 rms., lg. bath w/ clawfoot tub &C separate shower. $550/mo., includes util. 985-9223. SO. BURLINGTON: Lesbian seeking same or gay-friendly NS F to share house. Bike path, wooded trails, big yard, W /D. No cats. $400 + 1/2 utils. 863-6215 SO. BURLINGTON: Spear St condo. Pool, tennis, W /D. Must like cats. Non-smoker preferred. Cheryl, 658-4965, leave message. SO. BURLINGTON: Need NS prof, to share 3 bdrm. house in suburban setting. Big back yard. $450/ mo. - utilities, cable & trash included. No pets. 862-6367. SO. HERO: 3 bdrm. house on lake w/ beautiful views. Share living rm., dining rm., kitchen & bathroom. 52 acres & private beach. Prof. NS. $300 + 1/2 util. 769-5720 (d), 372-3168 (e). WILLISTON: Single dad seeks neat, prof. F to share nice, 3 bdrm. condo. W /D, references. $375/mo. + utils. Bob, 872-0622.

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buy this stuff LEATHER BIKER JACKET. Only worn once. Paid $200, asking $100. Call 656-6911. 400 WATT METAL-HALIDE light fixtures. Complete with Ballast. $125 Real Nice Units. Other Bulbs & Ballast’s, too! Call 203-792-2676. W O L F F T A N N IN G B E D S TAN AT HOME

Buy DIRECT and SAVE!

cleaning housekeeping

SOLA CLEANERS

TRANSFORM YOUR DUSTY castle into a glimmering palace. Call Diane H., Housekeeper to the Stars! Pay the price, get the results 658-7458.

Chittenden & Franklin Counties Commercial, Small Business & Residential Cleaning 802-865-9537

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Low Monthly Payments FREE Color Catalog CALL TODAY 1-800-842-1310 BREW YOUR OWN BEER! Homemade wine and soft drinks, too. With equipment, recipes, and friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. At our location next to the Beverage Warehouse, E, Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070.

wanted to buy TOBOGGAN WANTED. Also interested in a sled, wagon or cart, any condition, cheap. 456-1522. MASSAGE TABLE w/ face craddle (portable or not), preferrably adjustable height. Please call Bonnie, 865-0978.

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Throw Your Deadbeat Roommate To The Wolves & Get A New, Nice One Through Us. CALL 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 page

S E V E N, DAYS i /

January

22,

1997

Classifieds automotive SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, BMW’s, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4WD's. Your area. Toll-free, 1-800218-9000 Ext. A-6908 for current listings.

child care NANNY AVAIL. Experienced, energetic, creative nanny seeking full or part-time position in Burlington area. References avail able. Call for more info, 860-7279.

help wanted NO W HIRING BARTENDER. Must be experienced, customer ori ented and able to work well in a fast-paced environment. Apply in person at Vermont Pub & Brewery. No phone calls, please. #1 FASTEST GROWING CO M PANY in America now expanding in VT. Call 862-8081. MAIL-ORDER ADVENTURE travel book company seeks motivat ed employee for warehouse posi tion; limited customer service also a posibility. 40 hrs./wk.; flexible schedule and generous benefits. Send brief resume to: Adventurous Traveler Bookstore, P.O. Box 1468, Williston, VT 05495. WANTED: 2 MULTI-DISCIPLI NARY ART TEACHERS for weekly workshops w/ pre-school & elementary school kids. Must have BA, 2 yrs. experience. Send resume/references by 2/3/97 to: ECPD, d o VSAVT, 1 Main St., Rm. 120, Burlington, VT 05401. Info call 860-6220. EOE. WANTED: 2 MOVEMENT/ DANCE TEACHERS for weekend workshops w/ children w/ disabili ties & their families. Must have BA, 3 yrs. experience. Send resume erences by 2 /3 /9 7 ‘to: ECDP, VSAVT, 1 Main St., Rm. 120, Burlington, VT 05401. Info call 860-6220. EOE. $1000’S POSSIBLE READING BOOKS. Part Time. At Home. Toll-free, 1-800-218-9000 Ext. R-6908 for listings.

AMBITIOUS PEOPLE WANTED. Capitalize on the home-based business boom! By the year 2000 half the population will be working from home. We’re focused on the $31 billion personal development industry &C $454 bil lion home-based, small-based busi ness market. We will take you there now with our unique educational product, extraordinary business & unparalleled sales support system. Serious inquires only, Call 1-800775-0712 ext. 8782. PLAN ET REPAIR. Earn solid, residual income assisting distribu tion o f wild, organic products. Must be enthusiastic and outgoing. Call 800-576-5294, ad# 133935.

SPANISH INSTRUCTOR/ TUTOR. VT certified w/ four years classroom & tutoring experi ence. All levels, flexible hours, rea sonable group and individual rates. Call 655-7691 for more info.

SEARCHING FOR A BASS PLAYER to collaborate on original instrumentals. Studio recording is a focus and available. Interested, accomplished bassists call Don, 434-4563. HEY MUSIC LOVER... Get on the right track with Big Ed’s Studio On Wheels. 8, 16, or 24 track, that is. Gonna take you higher. 802266-8839.

PROPERTY PROS. Total property maintenance, SNOW REMOVAL. painting, landscaping & light con struction. Call the best: 863-0209. REPAIRS, RENOVATIONS, PAINTING, consultations, decks, windows, doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured, references. Chris Hanna, 865-9813.

personal training

music instruction BASS LESSONS: Teacher available for acoustic 8c electric bass. Learn theory, technique, how to read music &C improvise. Call Justin, 899-4024.

IT’S TIME TO GET IN SHAPE! Lose weight, firm up and feel great with a well designed workout. Julie Trottier, ACE Certified Personal Trainer, 878-2632. Free Brochure. A NATURAL & EASY SOULUTIO N to healthy weight loss. Convenient home program that helps you achieve the maximum results you’re seeking, losing both pounds & inches. For free brochure send SASE to Personal Body Design, P.O. Box 264, Winooski, VT 05404.

THINK ABOUT IT:

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TOBIAS 5 STRING BASS. Hand carved beauty made of Zebra/ Bubinga/Maple by world-reknown luthier Michael Tobias in 1990 (mint), $2,500. SWR Studio 220 Bass Amp (mint), $300: 496-3520.

$987.35/ WEEK +

MUSICIANS - PROMOTIONAL PHOTOS - New Studio. ’ Special* photo shoot and 10 B8cW 8x10 photos w/ band name: $100, many options available. Peter W olf Photo-Graphics, 802-899-2350/ pawolfl@aol.com.

UNDER STRESS? Take a health break with Tranquil Connection. Hot tub, shower & massage. Certified Therapist. Sessions: extended $65, reg. $55, intro $35. 654-6860. Please leave a message.

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DISPLAY AD

TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep theraputic massage. Intro ses sion: $30, reg. session: $40. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Very flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029. THERAPUTIC MASSAGE: Swedish Esalen Body Work. Special intro rate. Sliding scale fee avail able. Office on Church St. Karen Ross & Lynn Waller, 863-9828.

CALI

HEY!! GTR./VOCALIST looking for other Burl, area musicians - any instrument - to collaborate, impro viser writrACp«db*W*«th. Improv. ' skills 8c open-mindedness a must. Mike, 660-3492.

ARE YOU IN A BURLINGTONAREA BAND? Be a part of Burlington’s World Wide Web guide to local music. Send your press pack to: BIG HEAVY WORLD, P.O Box 428, Burlington, VT 05402. http://www.bigheavyworld.com/

1-800-995-0796 ext. 2671

carpentry/painting

massage LOTS OF G O O D STUFF YOU SHOULD BUY: 1950 s reissue box microphone, $40. Boss Overdrive Distortion, $45; Tech 21 XXL Distortion Pedal, $40; Real Tube, $70. Call 658-5665 or 864-9062.

BROKE?? TIRED OF ROMAINE noodles every night? Try an exciting career in the entertainment indus try. Liason in the Burlington area 1 /28-2/7. Unlimited earning potentail. Call now to schedule your per sonal interview, 1 -80 0 -8 96 -0 1 31 .

Home Based - Not M.L.M. 90% Profit - Min. Cap. Req. $ 1 2 5 0 .0 0 - Info

GET ORGANIZED AND GET REAL. Without a kick-butt Press Packet, your Band might as well SUCK. The K House does it for you; well and flH R A P . Call 6588645.

tutor/instruction

SWEET SAX. Conn-tenor. Need the bread. $750. Call 863-8313.

business opp

CIRCUIT MAXIMUS IN-EAR M ONITOR SYSTEM. Brand new. Equipped for one person, $400. Rolland Jazz Chorus 77 amp in good shape, $339. Call Reid, 802244-8902, leave message.

dating services PEOPLE LINK - The affordable dating alternative. Call 657-2626.

GUITAR INSTRUCTION: All styles, any level. Emphasis on devel oping strong technique, thorough musicianship and personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sldar-Grippo, Gordon Stone, etc.). 862-7696. PIANO LESSONS: Teacher with MM in Classical Piano welcomes students o f all ages and levels. Studio located in Essex Center. Deborah Nomani, 878-4272.

CALL TO ARTISTS: Collage exhi bition, 2D & 3D work needed. Bring work or repros. Wed. 1/23, 12-3p.m. orThurs. 1/24, 3-6p.m. Firehouse Gallery, 135 Church St.

r We've shown 3500 people a better way to meet.

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SINGLE VERMONTERS: Dating/Introduction service. The unique, affordable way to meet people. You choose whom you want to meet. It’s fun, confidential and it works. 802-660-1946. CONSORT SERVICE. Male gre garious and diversive. For ladies and gentlemen. Dining, dancing, social events or traveling compan ion. Professionalism assured. No intamacy involved. Call Gerard’s, 878-5361.

join tW

respond to a listing or to be listed SEARS AREA to WATERBURY. Long time carpooler needs some new pool members, Works at state building. approx. 7:30-4p.ro. ■ ears !■ Leave Sears at 6:45a.m. ((1149)

COLCHESTER. Lakcshore Dr. is too crowded! Let's carpool from Malletts Bay to Hercules Dr. I work approx. 7:30-4:15. M-F. (2138)

SHELDON to DOWN TOWN BURLINGTON. Looking to* form a vanpool (tom northern part of 1-89 to Burlington. Working hours are approx. 95:30p.m. (2289)

COLCHESTER to BURLING TON. I need a ride from Pnm and Lakcshore to class Wednesday nights in downtown Burlington. Will pay. (2138)

WATERBURY to Commuter needs r home from around Ave. D area to 3:30p.m. Can wait til later, willing to pay. (2244) BURLINGTON to BERLIN. Ride wanted. Need to be at desti nation 8:3Q-9a,m. and picked up at 3:30p.m, Willing to assist in gas costs. Can be dropped off at BC/BS office if mote convenient.

(22011 BURLINGTON to SO. BURL. I know it seems a short distance, but with my work hours of |Hpjtn.-7a,ra.* I need a ride to work when the 1 ; doesn’t run. Please call if you * i help me out. COLCHESTER to BURLING TON. Do you haw an empry seat in your car that I could fill? I am looking for a ride M-F to my office on Kimball Ave. My work hours are 9-5. Willing to help with gas money. (2192)

* c BURLINGTON to COIjCHr ESTER. I have a new job off the bus line so I need a ride to Hercules Dr. from downtown. 1 work 7-3:30. will pay! Please, can you offer me a seat in your car? £2164) BURLINGTON to ST. ALBANS. I am looking for a

Industrial Park or downtown Sr. Albans. I work 8-4:30 ot 5. ESSEX JCT. to ST. ALBANS Can we carpool? I work 8-5:30, can’t leave any earlier. Need rides for a few weeks, but can alternate driving after that. Will pay to stan. Can meet you in Wi nonski/ Co Iches ter, too. (2163) ESSEX. I need a tide home at

10pm fom Center. I can take the bus to work, bur it doesn't run late enough to get me home. Will pay. (2162)

BARRE/BERLIN to BURLING LINCOLN to BURLINGTON. TON. I’m an early bird. Need to Car repairs are awful! I work %% be to work on Pine St. by 6:30 3 3 M 4 jn A need a ridefwfco#' | | am out until my car is feeling better. In a . t in Berli ■ '* month I Will be able to share dri convenient than Barre. (2200) ving. Please call! (2180) WILLISTON VILLAGE AREA MILTON to UVM. I’m an early Kennedy Dr., So. Burl Visually bird. Looking to ride with some impaired. Will pay for rides to one who works simuiar shift/nearwork. 8-5:30 workday (1113) by location, M-F, 7-3. Somewhat WINOOSKI to VERGENNES. flexible. (21811 Looking to carpool on a daily RICHMOND. I am looking for basis. It’s too much for one per a ride on the weekends into son alone. My hours are Bam Burlington. I work from 8-4. 7pm, but k can be flexible Can you help me? (2183) (19851 UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON. Looking to share driving with someone coming from Underhill area to downtown Burl. Work hours are from 8:30-5 M-F. Let’s help each other out and carpool! (2177)

BEAUTIFUL, SMART, GRAY TIGER CAT named “Orlando” w/ limited trust fund seeks friend to share life w/. I like to go for walks & snuggle. My companion is mov

BURLINGTON. Live on Park Street and work at Friendly’s corner of Williston Rd./Dorset St. Looking for a nde ai 5:30 a.m. (will be raking the bus home). Willing to help with gas costs. (2224) ing to the city, but I would like to remain in Burlington. For more info, call 863-1334.

Get your weekly fix on Vermont arts, entertainment, news and views with a subscription to SEVEN DAYS. Call 802.864.5684 \ ¥ January

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1997

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m artial arts ARNIS FILLIPINO WARRIORS disguised their martial art as a dance, concealing it from their Spanish conquerors. The result: a free-flowing martial art that is both beautiful & practical. 879-2554.

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psychotherapists SAHRA JUNE ASCHENBACH, APRN. Licensed Clinical Specialist in Psychiatric & Mental Health Nursing. Awakening Center for Transformative Therapies & The Healing Arts. Counseling, Psychotherapy, Transpersonal, Holistic, Psychospiritual. 2 Harbor Rd., Shelburne. Call 985-2346.

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"We want people to have the flu shot prior to J influenza being in the community,” Halvorsynsays. “At this time o f year, we’re already seeing many although it may iiS f^ been exposed. ^ t ^ Halverson primarily recommends influenza vac cines for those at “high risk” o f contracting"the ease, including: people 65 or older; any child or Ji adult with chronic medical conditions or serious long-term health problems such as heart disease; anemia, lung disease, kidney diseas£ asthma, or a metabolic disease such as diabetes; people who are immuno-suppressed (such as those with HIV or AIDS); and canter patients undergoing chemothera

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1997

S E V E N DAYS

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PERSON persons over

18years ofage.

PERSONAL ABRREV^TIQNS A = Asian, B = Black, Bi=Bisexual, C = Christian, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, J = Jewish, M = Male, ND = No Drugs, NS = Non-Smoking, NA = No Alcohol, P= Professional, S = Single, W = White, Wi = Widowed.

WOMEN SEEKING MEN CAN Y O U FISH , CHEER O N T H E Cats at Gutterson, or sit through a VSO concert? You must be over 6 ’, under 40, and love to laugh. 6 4 220 LOVING LIFE. DWF, 43 , ATTRAC TIVE, fit, energetic, financially secure, smoker. Miss cuddling with a man who is similar: good-looking, romantic, em o tionally and financially secure. 64227 SWF, 33 , HEAVYSET, N S /N D , downto-earth, honest with sense o f humor, seeks SW M , 26-35, with same interests; enjoys music, movies, and being yourself. 64216 SWPCF, 41, N E W T O AREA. I enjoy music, travel, antiques, cooking, reading, good friends. Looking for same in a man. 64229 2 SWBiF, 2 0 ’S, IN T O B O D Y PIERC ING & totoos: wild pussy cats looking for someone to make us PRRR. You: adventuresome, open-m inded, no strings, 20 s, dominate and/or submissive. Interested? Give us a buzz... 64204 LET’S M EET IN ‘97. DPWF, m id-40’S, known for creativity, athletics, gardens, laughter, photography, love o f people, ISO N S, fit, funny, intelligent PW M to snowshoe in V T ’s woods, kayak its waters, hike its mts., bike its roads, enjoy its music, food, theater & people. Would love to meet you. 64211 Y O U T H F U L O U T E R & IN N ER . WPF, 50, intelligent, articulate, compas sionate, positive, happy, energetic, fun, moral, spirited. You? W PM with similar traits. 64186 SWF, B L O N D E HAIR, BLUE EYES, street smart and worldly wise. I play the piano and croon a mean tune. I ski in the winter and garden in June. So let’s get together and talk about the weather. 64209 44, D P N S F IN SEARCH O F 4 3 -5 0 YO companion. Should be physically/intellectually active, warm, caring individual with a positive outlook on life. D o you love to laugh and be held, too? Maybe you’re the one I’m looking for. 64202 SWF, 30IS H , SM O K ER, BL/BL, A M I ABLE, pet loving person enjoys intimate, engaging, interactive com munication using all o f ones senses. ISO educated, open-minded, generous, modest M. 64200 TEACHER, W ATERCOLORIST, SWF, beautiful, caring, 27, interested in light hearted dates with intelligent, conscien tious, professional men. O nly fun, tall, handsome, respectful men need respond. 64195 PETITE + POW ERFUL SW PNSF, 3 5 ,seeks sensitive, open SW N SM , fit, well-built. Be that one in a million who can keep pace with my dynamic lifestyle. 64187 DWF, 4 5 , ISO LT, IN TIM A TE M friend. N o marriage. Must be homebody & smoker. Looking for som eone 50-60. 64182 TIM E FOR A N E W B E G IN N IN G . SPF, 3 0 ’s, smart, educated, cultured, funny, centered, attractive and fit, seek ing intimate relationship that nurtures the mind, heart and soul. 64183

< TO > P E R S O N

N E W T O T H E AREA. N S SPF, 23, looking to meet new people, down to earth, athletic, fun, light-hearted. You are SM, 25+, N S, athletic, nice smile, easy going. 64156 LOVER O F LABS A M UST. SWPF, 31, fit, fun, educated, seeks similar SWPM, 28-38, N S. 64165 “C A TW O M AN SEEKING BATM AN.” DWF, 43, tall, blond, enjoys going out or staying home, likes nightlife or quiet times. Montreal a +. Likes wine/dine. N S. 64161

P erso n a l o f t h e W eek m en s e e k in g w om en

SWPM, 29,5'5", I40lbs. Intelligent, attractive, NS,

d ll around nice guy, and real hum anitarian living in central VT, ISO a fun, elegant wom an.

64233 I’ i t m » idiot l l r w i r k wiles (lin in ’ ll II lU'l l ill

The Daily Planet TH€D/tYPWre

l5C cn!cr Street Burlington. V T 562-9647

MAKE MY DAY! Attractive SWF, 43, 5 ’3 ”, petite, likes rock & roll, dancing, gardening, reading, travel, hiking, the outdoors, animals and adventures. ISO kind, sensitive, honest, open, affectionate S/D W M w / similar interests for friend ship and whatever may follow. 64159 SWF, LATE 60s, ENJOYS G O IN G for rides, eating out, watching TV, has a sense o f humor, likes dancing, ISO com panionship or more. 64145 SO M E OF MY FAVORITE T H IN G S: jogging in the rain, new polar fleece, chocolate cake, the smell o f cedar, flowers in winter, second looks, animal tracks in snow, old quilts, card games, good mys teries, older people’s eyes, sleeping under the stars, plants, sledding, children’s smiles... SWPF, 28, seeks someone to add to this list (SPM, 27-37). 64146 M ISC HIEF IS MY M O TT O ; REALNESS my claim. D on’t need hocuspocus, want substance with my flame. Delightful, insightful, a woman you can love. Intelligent, capable, don’t put your self above. Are you classy, curious, car ing? Want more than surface glitz? Then call me, ’cause I’m worth it. W ell see if it’s a fit. 64140 SEEKING N E W LIFE AT 30. NSDAF, educated, professional, attractive, cul tured. Living in China w / 4 YO son. Seeking M, 30-40, for love, marriage. Race unimportant. Sincere and serious only. 64176 LO OK, T H IS IS T H E STORY: I AM A 26 YO, funky, prof, woman. I like to telemark, drink coffee, cook exotic food, write, travel, listen to inspired music and laugh at life’s little ironies. You are: 2636, SPM , a skier/ “hikey-bikey” sort, evolved, stable, substance-free, funny and difficult to locate. Are you out there? N o meshugenahs, please. 64122

L0V€... UTJ. y j 3. j jT

1. 9 0 0 . 9 3 3 . 3 3 2 5 If) n 0 3 3 33

is only 11 numbers away. page

LOVELY, PLAYFUL, INTELLIGENT SWPF, 28, new to VT, seeks sensitive (!!) W PM , 30-45, to ski, rollerblade, ride horses, hike, converse, have snowball fights & make romance with. Must be financially secure w / sense o f humor! Come play w/ me... I dare you! 64121 H O O K E D O N SN O W BO A R D IN G . Educated, beautiful, self-employed SWF, 28, ISO tall, handsome SPM for winter companionship. Brains, passion both pluses. N o hippies please. 64126 LIFE IS G O O D ! B U T IT C O U L D BE even better. Blue-eyed SWPNSF, 27, seeks good-looking SW PNSM , 25-32, with a positive attitude, a knack for con versation, a penchant for fun, and a ready smile. Likes: creative, cerebral and plain old silly stuff. 64110 SELF-SUFFICIENT LONER IN A friendly, gregarious way. N o leaders, no followers. No chips on shoulder. Love to live, love, learn. Imperfect, but improv ing. Let’s write, talk first. Fall into like, friendship, then... who knows? Life is full o f surprises! Tell me your hopes, plans, dreams. Tell me about YOU! 64112 RECHERCHE VOYAGEUR TEMERAIRE, at least 30, interested in world music and dancing, looking with in, opening up and communicating. I am 38, a world traveler and looking for a spiritual connection. I live and believe in an alternative lifestyle and openness o f mind. Ecris-moi. 64102 ATTRACTIVE, FIT, FU N , FORTYISH, secure man sought for an equal relationship. Ready for a roll down the bike path or a night at the Flynn? Come with me. DWF, 40, one child. 64105

MEN SEEKING WOMEN REAL C O N N E C T IO N ? I’m 31, tall, attractive, professional, high IQ, creative, energetic, straight forward, genuine, believe relationship comes before all else. Seek friendship, commitment, heart-toheart, sharing, understanding, connec tion, love w/ a woman, 25-30, who shares these traits and outlook. 64224 D W M , 37, 6 ’2 ”, 200lbs. FINANCIAL LY secure jewelry executive seeking DWF. Looking for a classy woman. 64231 PASSION FOR LIFE. SW PM , 39, nordic/surfer look, bright, thoughtful, athletic, emotionally and financially secure, looking to share with S/D W PNSF, 35-42, naturally attractive, with similar attributes. 64236 SW PM , 29, 5’8 ”, I40lbs., INTELLI GENT, attractive, NS, all around nice guy and real humanitarian living in cen tral V T ISO a fun, elegant woman. 64233 ATTRACTIVE A N D ATHLETIC, 27 YO SW NSM who’s work has impeded play for too long. ISO attractive and slender NSF w/ whom to explore and enjoy. 64123 HOPELESS RO M ANTIC. SW PM , 24, seeking older F (28-?) for friendship and hopefully more. Personality counts for everything. Let me pamper you. Try me. 64235 R O M A N T IC IN W O R D & FLESH. SW M , 37, 6 ’2 ”, l65lbs., ISO intellectually/culturally inclined S/DF, 30-45. I’m athletic, attractive, sharp features w/ soft edges. Love arts, cooking, conversation over wine, massage afterwards, fluent in French. 54232 BALLROOM, C O N TR A , SW ING . Friend and dance partner wanted. Must enjoy exercise, conversation, personal growth, nature, progressive politics. I am 35, N S, and worth meeting. 64221 N S SPM , 27, LO O K ING FOR som e one to spend time with (movies, dinner, etc.). 64228 ME: ATTRACTIVE, FIT, FIN A N CIALLY secure, hungry. You: young, slender, looking for trouble, tasty. Call for an unforgettable adventure! 64234 EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIP^ sought by handsome, intelligent, creative M with high integrity who loves life, is capable o f expressing feeling easily and is emotionally available. I love skiing, trav eling, movies, music. Seeking stable, fit, affable 30-44 YO w/ heart, brains, beau ty, smiles. 64219 HAPPY SM , 26, N S H A N D SO M E , smart, honest, funny, romantic. Hobbies:' skiing, hiking, travel, dining, dancing, conversation, reading and music. I am very clever, energetic, a lot o f fun, and believe in keeping life simple. I seek a relatively similar SF, 20-30, for friendship or romance. 64225 W EEK ENDS A R E N ’T T H E SAME without you. I am a 34 YO fit WPSM who likes art & literature, hiking & ski ing, hip hop & jazz. I avoid TV. I’m looking for a companion w/ zest & a sparkle in her eyes, 25-35. Prefer letter. 64223

S E V E N DAYS

G .G .G . LOVE. G O D ’S GREATEST gift: Love, and be loved. Bob’s my name. I’m 6 ’2 ”. They say Elvis looks like me. Hair style maybe. I love nature, wonder ful things & travel. Please call or write. 64226 LOVE T H E O U T D O O R S , N O T T H E BARS. Part-time dad, 39, happy, posi tive, motivated, supportive, fit, deter mined to live an extraordinary life despite being not perfect - only growing. ISO a special friend o f similar qualities with an appetite for romance and pas sion. Carpe Diem! 64203 IT ’S A W O N D E R FU L LIFE! George Baily will lasso the m oon for the right Mary Hatch. Vibrant, tall, handsome SW PM , 39, athletic nature boy, educat ed, successful, sensuous and sincere, seek ing same in interesting, beautiful, fit SWPF, 27-35, NS with no kids. Donna Reed charm a plus. Calls O.K, but letter & photo might help an angel earn her wings. 64207 IN VEST IN FRIENDSHIP. SW M , 35, N S, kind, warmhearted, sincere, fit, musical, shy at times, seeks special woman, 28-40, N S, to build friendship w/ intent o f relationship. Interests: music, dancing, reading, outdoors &C investing time with you. 64213 T O U C H D O W N ! RECENTLY relocated Ivy League Californian winner seeks SWPNSF, 22-32, to show o ff a section o f her favorite playground. I don’t make unsafe passesjind this is not a “Hail Mary.” People always root for this regula tion player. I promise it will not be a scrimage. Good looking, well built, 28 YO SW PNSM . 64212 SW M N D /N A , 42 , 5’8 ”, FIT, E D U CATED, sense o f humor. Enjoy out doors, music, hanging out. I do smoke. Seeking bright woman for com panion ship, conversation, romance, relationship. 64215 SW M , 4 0 ’S, N S C A N A D IA N . Art, music, travel, nature - the good o f life make my being. Looking for intelligent, mature, caring relationship. 64208 TEXAS COWBOY, N E W T O T H E AREA, ISO submissive cowgirl to rope for fantasy fun & romantic candlelight dinner. Age not important. I’m 47, DW PM , NS. 64206 SINCERE, FRIENDLY, PASSIONATE, attractive SW M , N S, 37 (5 10”). Interests include fitness, humor, music (rock/classical), movies, theater, cuddling with someone special. Seeks attractive, fit SF, NS, 2 0 ’s-3 0 ’s, for friendship, possible

L T R . 64185 R O M A N T IC SW M , 32 , O U T D O O R SY type seeks SF for adventure, romance and exclusive access to my dementia. Romance and fun guaranteed. 64201 N O LO NG ER ALONE. SW PM , 33, l65lbs., fun, romantic, passionate, ISO F for fun and excitement. N o longer have to be alone. Let’s be friends. 64194 BiM SEEKS BiF O R C O U PLE FOR hot times. Discreet, clean, open-minded. Any age, race. Will answer ail. N o strings. Let’s do it now. 64198 TH IS A D TAKES COURAGE! University graduated, financially inde pendent gentleman seeks F with sex appeal who might view positively my fetish for kissing her boots & shoes! Call/write. 64192 SW M , 38 , FIT, N S , LO O K ING FOR A warm hearted lady with a great sense o f humor. Must enjoy the outdoors, dining out, movies, traveling, playing cards. Let’s talk!! 64189 B O S T O N ENTREPR EN E U R SKI B U M M IN G IN STOW E! 29 YO, 5 ’9 ”, blonde/blue, good looking & fun loving! ISO romance w/ goodlooking SWF, 2028, petite and fun loving. I love my life, come and enjoy it with me! 64190 W IL D DA N C E R SEEKS BEAUTY T O modulate to rhythms o f night with... deal here is: a night o f social dancing. All you need is — reply — k!!! 64178 N S, SPM , 27, LO O K ING T O M EET new people, down to earth, athletic, fun, light-hearted. You: SF, 27+, athletic, nice smile, easy-going. 64177 EUROPEAN, 50, N E W T O AREA, D W M , N S /N D , educated professional, enjoys nature, travels, photography, din ing out, laughs, music, gourmet cooking, interesting conversations. Seeking N S, similar woman, 35-45, romantic, active, fit, secure, independent and com munica tive, for LTR. Serious only. 64171 LEAN MALE, 36, ISO SLIM T O ZAFTIG, submissive F to explore sensu ous role play, discipline and fantasy fullfillment. Trust, honesty, communication paramount. All limits respected. 64173 I AM A 25 YO M SEARC HING FOR a strong, opinionated, intelligent and beau tiful woman inside and out! 64175

Dear Lola, Here's the deal: I'm in love with a gay man. Here's the problem: I'm a woman. What say you? —Penis Envy in Johnson Dear Penis, Strap-on anyone?you're not equipped tor this one, but I suspect that's part ot the allure. Permanently u nre quitable love provides none of the typical unfolding process: courting, mating, sacrificing, waiting, worrying, cleaning, fighting and breaking up. you get all the pain up front, you get to giggle, sparkle and shine into oblivion with nothing to show for it. Love without hope builds character. Go ahead, be a martyr. Revel in your plight. For sustenance, read One

Hundred Years of Solitude again. See the newly released Portrait o f a Lady. Rent Carrington, you're in good company. Eventually you'll have to resign yourself to the fact that this is a friendship, the most rewarding relationship of all. Pursue it with everything you've got and forget about what it is you don't have.

January

22,

1997

PERSON M O NTPELIER T O W AITSFIELD: newcomer, 41, almost tall & slim, som e what brainy, artsy and outdoorsy, seeks like-minded friend & lover, 25+. 64157 HIPSTER LO O K ING FOR H IPCH ICK. Gotta dig jazz and classic cars. Must be cool and not smoke cigarettes. Should like sailing and believe everyday is a learning experience. 64163 N U T T Y FRUITCAKE SEEKS CHEESEBALL for fun in the new year. If you’re a SWF, 25-33, who likes to eat, drink and be merry year-round, give this SW M , 31, a jingle. Yule be glad you did. 64162 SERIOUS SKIERS ONLY! N S SW PM , 30, financially secure w / all hair and teeth intact seeks skiing partner. Are you fit and attractive w/ a good sense o f humor? 64158 IN SEARCH O F Y O U N G (18+), beautiful, sexy SF for fun and play. Me: SW M , 23, very attractive, great body, happpy, cool, kind, healthy. Call me! 64164 SW M A C H O M AN LO O K IN G FOR SWF, 18-25. Have dinner by candlelight, go to the movies, hug, cuddle, snuggle. 64154 W M , 34, SEEKS WF. M U S T BE beautiful and submissive for house slave. Age not important. 64153 SENSITIVE & R O M A N T IC SW M , 33, outgoing, athletic, down to earth, creative, very good appearance, seeking F, 2 0 -3 5 .6 4 1 5 5 SW PM , N S , IR ISH , T IR E D O F S IN GLES SCENES! Educated, athletic, adventurous, attractive; why single? Seeking stylish, energetic, youthful,

1 900 933-3325 -

respond

< TO

humorous, attractive, physical, intellectu al F, 24-30 (isn’t everyone?). 64149' MULDER-LIKE, 33, SEEKS SCULLYlike to investigate V T paranormal, and maybe squeeze in movies and coffee. W e’ve got a full case load, let’s go. 64148 LIG H T MY FIRE FOR W IN T E R ’S here! SW M , 34, attractive, fit, into selfsufficient, adventurous lifestyles, nature, music ISO affection, romance, other things worthwhile. 64144 W IL D & A D V E N T U R O U S, YET sen sible and intelligent. Attractive, well edu cated, fun-loving, 27 YO SWPM seeks attractive, open-minded, 20s SWF for friendship and possibly more. 64139 T V W RITER /PR O D U C E R , 38, athletic, creative, new in town. Into skiing, travel, foreign film, confident women. Seeking a bright, trim, cute, 28-38, N S who’s emotional baggage size qualifies as “carry-on.” 64142______________ • H ED O N IST? SW M , 39 SEEKS younger women with alike interests (ski ing, travel, sex, music, food). Like indoor and outdoor fun. 64143 SPECIAL SJF S O U G H T BY DYNAM IC, attractive, fit, educated, successful, compassionate SJPM, 31, 5’8 ”. I’m a lawyer for the good guys, into hiking, biking, jazz/blues. I’d like to meet a SJNSF, 21-33, who is warm, relaxed, fit, kind, intelligent, funny, romantic and emotionally secure. 64141 SANE BUT BO RED D W M , G ENER O U S, 40, 5’ 10”, 170lbs. (very generous), seeks Juliette Lewis-type-young lady for mutually beneficial relationship. 64138 D W P M , 35, BRO W N HAIR, BLUE eyes, I65ibs., seeks intriguing female company for fun and frolic. Let’s ski what V T has to offer and come home to a friendly fire, sit, chat and follow what destiny has in store. 64134

SW M , LATE 40s, TALL, INTELLEC TUAL, N SPC who loves life in all its forms, art, travel, music and nature. Seeking tender lonely woman. Photo app. 6 4 127__________ DEAR SANTA, DW M (33, SMOKER) asks one Christmas wish. Please bring me a petite woman, 24-40, who desires a close, very loving and intimate relation ship. 64131 DW I MALE, 32, ENJOYS WALKING in the moonlight, walking in the rain, walking, walking, walking. Desperately seeking SWF with vehicle. Late model preferred. 64129 N E E D SO M E O N E T O SPOIL! SWM, 40; heart o f a wizard; soul o f a poet; mind o f a philosopher. Sense o f humor required. 64108 ABNORM AL GUY LOOK ING FOR an abnormal woman. I’m 31, have a few degrees and teach crazy kids. Outside the asylum I hang out, read, workout and enjoy living. I’m looking for a similar woman. Remember: to be better than the norm, you have to deviate from it. 64109 ROM ANCE, PASSION A N D FU N awaits the right, good natured, attractive, intelligent SF, 25-40, with great sense o f humor. DW M , young 43, attractive, pro fessional, seeks friendly dates and possible LTR. Call or write. 64117 YOU: M ODEL, STR IP-D A N C E R O R look-a-like, goddess? N o grey-heads. For: companionship, role playing. Me: educat ed, tall, “work-outer,” giver, non-short, dark hair, like some kink & fetish. 64118

WOMEN SEEKING WOMEN A DIAM OND IN THE ROUGH. SWGF, 31, playful, positive, adventuresome, seeks

friendship/relationship with same. Dare to answer? 64205 ____________________ SWF LOOKING FOR SPECIAL FRIEND to share feelings and fun with. Sense of humor, caring, zest for life required. Good personality a must. 64150 DO YOU HAVE FANTASIES, DESIRES & dreams, and have no one to explore and share them with? If you are under 30, fern to soft butch, I might be the one you’re looking for! Let’s get together and start exploring together!!! 64137_______________ I AM A W OMAN SEEKING SPECIAL woman. Goal: longtermer. Try it, you might like it. GBF, 62, wants you, 50-65. Others, try. 64124

MEN SEEKING MEN BiWM, 28, SEARCHING FOR SENSI TIVE feminine man for friendship & possi ble relationship. Love o f crossdressing and techno a +. 64197_______________________ SWGM, 18 YO, SEEKING A LOVER who will knock me off my fruity feet. I love the opera, long walks on the beach, and you with me. 64214_______________________ SWM, Bi/CURIOUS, 29, 5’10”, 139lbs., seeks EQUAL for experimentation and fun! You and me. Discrete. No strings. 64191 A CATCH waiting to be caught. Attractive PGWM, 49, 5’H ”, I651bs„ ISO an experi enced angler to reel me in. I’m fishing for a GWM, 35-55, NS, HIV-. 64179 ATTRACTIVE, SHORT, SLENDER, older GWM seeks relationship with similar, age 40 +, NS, ND. Many cultural interests. Must appreciate country living. 64172_____ HANDSOME, SWARTHY, BRAINY, and brawny hunk, 5’10", 165lbs., 31 in age and waist, ISO well-educated GWM w/ similar attributes and stamina to spare for intellec tual repartee &C physical mischief. 64169

VERY ATTRACTIVE, WELL BUILT, allAmerican guy, in need o f some good, hot fun! Discrete, no strings, just fun! 64136 SEEKING MIKE + GUYS LIKE HIM. Approx. 6’, gorgeous, call me “sir”, polite, full o f fun. Me: BiWM, 35, 5T0”, 162lbs„ seeking fun, not relationship. 64111_______ W M SEEKS 4-6 G /Bi/STR M FOR REG ULAR poker games. I’m 40, 5’8”, 150Tbs. Let’s make new friends. Anything could happen! 64125

OTHER YOUNG, ADVENTUROUS AND openminded couple who enjoy sex looking for attractive BiF, 18-24, far friendship, possibly more. No strings. 64218______________ SOLO VOYAGERS: D O YOU ENJOY films, culture, travel, the outdoors, good food and conversation? Caring, refined edu cator seeks quality friendships. Age & gender unimportant. Integrity is. 64217_______ CLOTHES DO N O T MAKE TH E MAN! Adventurous, Rubenesque transvestite is seeking a date for the Drag Ball. Openminded lovers o f lipstick, lingerie and lace please apply. 64196______________________ O PEN-M INDED COUPLE SEEKING gentle BiWF for adventures and fun. We are mature (40’s) and responsible. Seeking same. 64199

BRUEGGERS, SAT. M O R N IN G , 1/18. You: blue hat, great smile. Me: behind you in line. We listened to laundromat lady horror story. Interested? 64230 CO LCH ESTER V ID E O STORE. I rented a movie. You said( “Thanks.” I said, “You’re w elcom e.” Wish I had said more... D o we have a chance? 64184

5 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VI 0 5 4 0 i

To respond to mailbox ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box# on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response and address tot PERSON TO PERSON d o SEVEN DAYS, PO. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

SEVERAL SMART, ATTRACTIVE, light hearted women planing a Valentine soiree. If you (40-50) would like to join us, send revealing Valentine with photo. Box 099

SWF, 38, REUBENESQUE,"ATTRACT TIVE, myriad o f interests, seeking NICEGUY, 25-45, to trust,-share and explore life’s gifts. Central VT/Burlington area. Let’s write first. Box 096

39 YO ALASKIAN FISH ING BOAT CAPTAIN ISO adventurous V T lady. We cruise S.E. Alaska this summer; you show me V T in the fall. Photo please. Box 098 PLENTY O F EVERYTHING, BUT TIM E. Handsome, driven, entrepreneur ISO truly gorgeous young vixen who deserves to be spoiled. N o chains, pre tenses, expectations. Just photo. Box 090 PASSION PURIFIES. Beauty bores. Intelligence intrigues. Drugs depress. Sensuality stimulates. Music mesmerizes. Smoking sucks. Caresses cheer. Alcoholics abhorrent. Seniors sexiest. Telephone tedious. Writing wiser. Let’s liason. Box 097 G R O U N D E D , SENSITIVE, SECURE SW PM , 40, 5 ’6 ”, handsome, great shape. Humorous!! Great family man without the family - yet. Into arts, outdoors, wildlife, reading, dance, food, travel. ISO meaningful talks, some moonlight walks... with similar, earthy, smart, attractive, romantic F, 29 +. Box 093

70 YRS. Y O U N G DW M . Clear out your attic. I did. Saved the good times. Children/grandchildren. N o fancy word here. Just to enjoy rest o f life. Box 094 ENVIRONM ENTALIST, SCIENCE/ academic sort, not an activist, some what athletic, a young 34, decent looking, seeking similar F with a zany sense o f humor, who laughs easily - a few interests like nature, camping, hiking, or snowshoeing. Box 091 SW M , 31, 150lbs. 5’10”, N S , seeking SWF, 25-33, to share romantic evenings by the fireplace, movies, fine dining, good books. Please write me. Box 089 W ANTED: SLE D D IN G PARTNER. I promise to pull the sled back up the hill for you, and when we’re done, I’ll rub your feet while your socks dry by the fire. Is that sappy or what? ISO F, 25-35. Box 086

know no parameters. Be ready to embark upon the intellectual, sensual and roman tic experience o f your lifetime. Photo appreciated. Box 085___________________ YOU: Y O U N G , EPISCOPALIAN; have read Aliboris Seed; family tree traces great migration arrival 1629-1641; seek ing tall, brown, blue for pith and procreation. Sensual, happy. Box 084__________ INTELLECTUAL, CARING SWPM, 31, 5’7”, cute, seeking NS SWF (23-31) who is sincere, easy going, attractive, likes the out doors, music and intellectual conversations. Box 082

GWF, 30’S, SEEKS FRIENDSHIP W ITH intellectually challenging, sensitive, honest, compassionate woman. You are spiritually minded, appreciate humor, the arts, beauty, truth. Enjoyment of outdoor activities as well as cultural pursuits desired. Creative, playful, gentle, loving soul please write. Box 095___________________________________ IN “THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES,” who are you? Food: suste

CONFIRMED YOUNG SENSUALIST. Lover o f finer things in life, generous to a fault, financially secure member o f presti gious profession seeking very attractive SPF, 22-35, who is possessed o f an active intellect, a toned body, and an indomitable sense o f adventure to explore all aspects o f life, the bounds o f which

nance only or art medium? When was the last time you hugged your shadow side? Are you easily amused? What would make God laugh? Let’s ponder the imponderables together, and more. Box 083_____________ SEEKING A SMART, SENSUAL, CRE ATIVE, communicative, analytical, allitera tive, passionate, playful, positive, political, spiritual, visionary, earthy, emotional, adventurous, integrated, kind and kinda funny kind o f gal. Box 080

MARRIED BiWM, 38, ATTRACTIVE, well-built, seeking SBiWM. Imagine the possibilities. All letters will get a fast response. A photo is appreciated, but not necessary. Box 100_____________________ _ GWM, PROFESSIONAL, 60’S, DARK eyes, ready smile, I45lbs., good body tone, seeking friend, 40-70, for discreet, on-going affectionate relationship. NS, N D . Write, please. Box 088 ______________________ GWM, 5’10”, I651bs„ HONEST, OPENminded, loves the outdoors, hiking, biking, nature, ISO GM 20-40 for friendship and good times. Box 087

Love in cyberspace. Point your web browser to http://www.wizn.com/7days.htm to submit your message on-line. Hew to place your FR€€ personal ad with Person to Person

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• F I L L O U T T H E C O U P O N A N D M AI L IT T O : P E R S O N A L S , P.O. B O X 1 164, B U R L I N G T O N , VT 05402 O R FAX TO 802.865.1015. P L E A S E C H E C K A P P R O P R I A T E C A T E G O R Y .

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D I S C L A IM E R : S E V E N D A Y S D O E S N O T I N V E S T I G A T E O R A C C E P T R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y F O R C L A IM S M A D E IN A N Y A D V E R T IS E M E N T . T H E S C R E E N IN G O F R E S P O N D E N T S IS S O L E L Y T H E R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y O F T H E A D V E R T I S E R . S E V E N D A Y S A S S U M E S N O R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y F O R T H E C O N T E N T O F , O R R E P L Y T O , A N Y P E R S O N T O P E R S O N A D V E R T I S E M E N T O R V O IC E M E S S A G E . A D V E R T I S E R S A S S U M E C O M P L E T E L IA B IL IT Y F O R T H E C O N T E N T O F , A N D A L L R E S U L T I N G C L A I M S M A D E A G A IN S T S E V E N D A Y S T H A T A R I S E F R O M T H E S A M E . F U R T H E R , T H E A D V E R T IS E R A G R E E S T O I N D E M N I F Y A N D M O L D S E V E N D A Y S H A R M L E S S F R O M A L L C O S T , E X P E N S E S ( I N C L U D I N G R E A S O N A B L E A T T O R N E Y ’S F E E S ) , L I A B I L I T I E S A N D D A M A G E S R E S U L T I N G F R O M O R C A U S E D BY A P E R S O N T O P E R S O N A D V E R T IS E M E N T A N D V O IC E M E S S A G E S P L A C E D BY T H E A D V E R T I S E R S , O R A N Y R E P L Y T O A P E R S O N T O P E R S O N A D V E R T IS E M E N T A N D V O IC E M E S S A G E .

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January

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S E V E N DAYS

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SPAM™ may not be on your weekly shopping list, but the ac tions of its maker, Hormel Foods, may be threatening the health and safety of the foods you do eat. Because it appears Hormel is now the largest U.S. food corporation considering the use of nuclear food irradiation. And promoters of food ir radiation are counting on an endorsement by a large company like Hormel to create an avalanche of radiation-exposed foods of all types. It's currently legal to expose most foods to radiation equiv alent of up to 10 miflion chest x-rays, including fresh fruits, vegetables, poultry, pork, grains, nuts and spices. Worse, ex

posing food to radiation creates cancer-causing chemicals in the food and destroys essential nutrients. And the nuclear ir radiation facilities, many to be fueled by the waste products of nuclear weapons production, pose serious threats to the en vironment and host communities. There's only one thing that can stop Hormel Foods and the rest of the food industry from exposing foods to radiation: you. So please give us a call to find out how you can get involved in our national grassroots campaign to stop food irradiation. Cali us toll-free at 1-800-EAT-SAFE. Because there is something a whole lot worse than SPAM™.

food & Water, Ific. 1-800-EAT-SAFE RR1, Box 68D Walden, VT 05873