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Introducing for the first time in Vermont S r i i P . w f k j i N u l Listen to Mike and Chantal on 95 TRIPLE X in the morning or call Josh at Seven Days (802.865.1010) for more details.

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SEVEN DAYS

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> weekly read on Vermont news, views and culture

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS

Pamela Polston, Paula Routly GENERAL MANAGER Rick Woods CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Perer Freyne ASSISTANT EDITOR George Thabault

february 6-13,2002

STAFF WRITER Susan Green CALENDAR WRITER Sarah Badger MUSIC WRITER Ethan Covey

ART DIRECTOR Donald R. Eggert ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR

Rev. Diane Sullivan DESIGNER Jennifer MeCall

Columns

Features

Vows That Wow

PRODUCTION MANAGER/ ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE

A sampling of aItar-nate utterances for the modern bride and groom

Aldeth Pullen CIRCULATION Rick Woods AD DIRECTOR Ellen Biddle

By George Thabault and Ethan Covey

ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

Kristi Batchelder, Michael Bradshaw, Michelle Brown, Eve Frankel, Max Owre, Colby Roberts CLASSIFIEDS MANAGER/

PERSONALS Josh Pombar NEW MEDIA MANAGER

Donald Eggert INTERN Elizabeth Wood

Tying the Knots

Designer Debbie LaFromboise takes the stress out of dressing brides By Elizabeth Wood

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Alexia Brue, Colin Clary, Kenneth Cleaver, Laurie Essig, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, Gretchen Giles, Susan Green, Brian Hadley, Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Jeremy Kent, Jason King, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Jernigan Pontiac, Cathy Resmer, Robert Resnik, George Thabault, Kirt Zimmer PHOTOGRAPHERS Andy Duback, Jeremy Fortin, Jordan Silverman, Matthew Thorsen, Jeb WallaceBrodeur ILLUSTRATORS Hany Bliss, Gary Causer, Luke Eastman, Scott Lenhatdt, Paula Myrick, Tim Newcomb, Dan Salamida, Steve Verriest, Abby Manock, Sarah-Lee Terrat CIRCULATION Harry Applegate, Joe Bouffard, Pat Bouffard, Chelsea Clark, Bill Derway, Justin Han, Jim Holmes, Nat Michael, Charleen Pariseau, Frank Smecker, Bill & Heidi Stone SEVEN

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Bridesmaid Revisited

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A Match Made in Vegas

Vermont couples "do" it up with wacky weddings

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A reclining writer celebrates the ups and downs of getting horizontal page 20a

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The Seven Days Sex Survey results

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SEVEN DAYS

ALI COURAGEOUS, NOT MACHO Reading Laurie Essig's "Motherly Glove" [January 16] I did a doubletake at the words "every macho movie like Ali." I saw Ah and I lived through the war against Vietnam, and characterizing the movie as "macho" dismisses the struggles of black people in this country and the opposition to that war. Mohammed Ali, born Cassius Clay, became a boxer, not a profession attracting people with great educational opportunities, lots of money or important social connections. When he had fought his way to heavyweight champion, he refused to fight in the U.S. war against Vietnam, against people who had done him no harm. This came as a shock to the white American body politic. It was astonishing to those who assumed that every successful African-American athlete, no matter

questio

How do you and your significant other make up after a fight? Make up? Ha! That could explain his absence!

what his experience of racism or his pain at the humiliation of his people, would at all times, unequivocally support and cheer on U.S. foreign policy. But Ali refused to do that. He refused to go to war to hide his beliefs. That is courage, but it is not machismo. He refused to say that the empire wore the clothes of democracy, a democracy only experienced in this country by African-Americans in the post-Civil War era known as Reconstruction, which was crushed soon and continuously thereafter by our home-grown white Christian terrorists, the Ku Klux Klan. During the Vietnam War, it could be fatal for a black American to register or to cast a vote. Ali was prosecuted and persecuted for his stand. Although he was a conscientious objector, he was sentenced to five years in jail, his boxing license and passport taken away. His title,

Statehouse honeycomb on a daily basis readily acknowledge that their role is similar to that of whores. They provide a service for a price and do their best to keep the customer satisfied." I agree with Mr. Freyne as far as he went, but I would add three crucially important distinctions. Sexual whoring is at worst a victimless crime. In Nevada, and in most other countries, it is no crime at all. Not so lobbying, which is prohibited by the U.S. penal code which provides up to 15 years and/or $40,000 for the bribery of office-holders and candidates. It does not matter whether the lobbyist buys the target lunch, a trip or offers or provides campaign financing or cash in hand. It is the intent to bribe that counts. Unfor-tunately, every politician and almost every candidate sells political favors, and the lobbyist insulates the big business johns and officials and candidates from the

Heavyweight Champion of the World, was taken away as if it were a kind of American knighthood that could be conferred or removed at a wave of the administration's hand. These actions were intended to cause hardship to Ali and his family and they did. But as opposition to the war widened, the government's persecution of a Muslim athlete appeared more and more ludicrous. Finally, the Supreme Court overturned his conviction. History or herstory is so often buried that when some does surface, even from Hollywood, it ought not to be lost again. — Phyllis Rachel Larrabee Woodbury HOW TO CURE LOBBYING In his column on lobbying ethics [Inside Track, January 23] Peter Freyne says, "Most of the distinguished hired-gun, contract business lobbyists who buzz through the

continued on page 43a

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The Quiet Man

That was the name of the classic 1952 John Ford film shot in the west of Ireland, starring John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara. Its also a name that fits the current favorite horse in the 2002 Gubernatorial Stakes — Doug Racine. The three-term Democratic lieutenant governor has quietly been working for this moment for more than 20 years. (So quietly, we've never been able to come up with a nickname that fits. Let's see, there was Silent Cal... how about Silent Doug?) In this week's "Monday Briefing," the insider political sheet posted on the Web site of the "pro-business" Wilson & White lobbying firm, www.wilsonwhite.com, Silent Doug gets what in politics is known as a "Lewinsky." No kidding. Partner David Wilson, a special guy, passed away last year, but the firm is stronger than ever this year, with 28 clients on their Statehouse dance card. Now that's a mighty sweet revenue stream. The firm is the pharmaceutical industry's front line special ops unit under Montpeculiar's golden dome, and so far the troops have earned their combat PayWilson & White also represents RJ Reynolds Tobacco, Health South, Verizon, Middlebury College, WCAX-TV, General Electric, Cigna Insurance and Vermont Funeral Directors. Nice combination: Big Tobacco, Health South and funeral directors. Kind of cradle-to-grave coverage, eh? Anyway, the current Wilson & White piece on Mr. Racine should be copied and distributed far and wide by his campaign staff. "State House regulars have observed a significant difference in Racine," it begins. Oh, really? Since his sound thrashing of Republican John Carroll in his first successful campaign for Lieutenant Governor in 1996, Racine has worked hard, but quietly, on a number of issues. Despite the fact that Racine has virtually crisscrossed the state nonstop, six days a week for the past five years, he has rarely been the subject of significant statewide attention by the media. There are a number of reasons for this. First, Racine would rather discuss the intricacies of early childhood education with a group of parents and teachers than glad-hand a mob of people at a Fourth of July parade. He is a reserved person by nature, and he cares more about substance than retail politics. The piece goes on to describe Silent Doug as "anything but a quote machine." He's not one to get in a "war of words" in the press. He is much more likely to resolve disputes quietly. Racine is the guy who has made a statewide political career out of civility and his ability to build consensus. There is not a lot of bombast in him. Amazing! Here you have the hired-gun Statehouse lobbying firm that shills for the two biggest black hats on the corporate stage — Big Drug and Big Tobacco. And they're laying a big wet Lewinsky on the white-hat Democratic candidate who loathes the tobacco and pharmaceutical drug industries. What's up, gang? The "Monday Briefing" is not signed. So we put on our thinking cap. Which member of the Wilson & White bluechip stable would write something about tree-hugging Silent Doug that reads like a campaign commercial? Who else but the slick up-and-comer who managed Silent Doug's "sound thrashing" of John Carroll in 1996 — Christopher Rice? Bingo! Mr. Rice told Seven Days he is, indeed, the author of the stirring Racine tribute. He explained that the "Monday Briefing" is written primarily for the firm's clients to read. Different members of the firm write on different areas of specialty. Obviously, Doug Racine is Rice's specialty.

Hope it doesn't throw water on the firm's success lobbying Jim Douglas supporters under the golden dome.

T H E T R U E MEAMIMG o ?

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More Doug — The clock's ticking, and we'll all know shortly what Progressive Party headliner Anthony Pollina decides to run for: governor or lieutenant governor. Honestly, yours truly gets asked at least three times a day, "What will Pollina do?" And at least three times a day we reply, "Anthony Pollina is not a stupid person." Not yet, anyway. If Tony the Prog runs for governor, Racine immediately ceases to be the 2-1 favorite. The odds change. And a Republican horse, be it Jim Douglas or King Con Hogan, drops from an 8-1 longshot to the 2-1 favorite. That's because Pollina will draw enough of a following in November to deny Racine an outright majority. We won't have a winner until the new Legislature is seated in January 2003. Vermont's next governor will be chosen by secret ballot. Make no mistake, Republicans will be absolutely, positively overjoyed if Tony the Prog goes for the Big One. So will Burlington's Prog Mayor Peter Clavelle, who would immediately announce for Lite-Gov. The other thing a Pollina gubernatorial candidacy will do is pour rat poison into the water supply the Vermont left drinks from. If Tony does to Doug what Ralph Nader did to Al Gore, the bad blood between Democrats and Progressives will last for years. That's something else the Republican Party will appreciate. In the latest Racine fundraising letter, there's a line from former Democrat Gov. Phil Hoff that surely is meant for Pollina's ears. Prince Philip, the man who broke the Republican stranglehold on the Green Mountains in 1962, says "Doug Racine is the most progressive candidate for governor in the last 40 years." Hey, Tony, you hear that? Doug Racine is and always has been a true-blue liberal Democrat. He's quite proud of it. He wears Act 60, civil unions, environmental protection as badges of honor. He fought for campaign finance reform, and backed up his words by accepting public financing in the last election. In fact, Silent Doug was the only statewide candidate in the nation to run a publicly financed campaign in 2000 and win! In a front-page article in the current issue of Out In The Mountains, Doug promises leaders of Vermont's gay political lobby that a Racine administration will work to wipe out homophobia and appoint gays and lesbians to positions of influence and authority. Racine makes it clear that he does not consider his support for their equal rights to be "a liability." To back up his commitment, Racine points to his support for equal marriage rights back in the days before the Baker decision, those olden days when Howard Dean was so uncomfortable he wouldn't say one word about same-sex marriage. "I came out months before the Supreme Court ruling on Baker v. Vermont," says Racine, "and made it clear that I don't have a problem with gay marriage." He may be a quiet man, but he's got a very strong backbone.

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DeanWatCh 2004 — Not bad. Our favorite presidential hopeful reported to the Federal Election Commission that his start-up political action committee has raised $111,317. Gov. Dean started his Fund for a Healthy America in November. Breaking the $100,000 threshold is admirable. Of course, his opponents in the 2004 presidential sweepstakes raked in much, much more, but they've had PACs in place for some time. For example, Sen. Tom Daschle's Dashpac reported raising $1.5 million last year. And Sen. John Kerry has $3 million in his U.S. Senate campaign kitty. He's even

Inside Track

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Curses, Foiled Again and Again A man who tried to rob two banks in Avon Lake, Ohio, left empty-handed both times after becoming confused. When the man showed a teller at the first bank a note that read simply "$1000," she asked if he wanted the money from his checking or savings account. "It just sort of befuddled him," police Lt. Mike Bulger said, "and he turned around and left." A few minutes later, he presented the same note at another bank, but again left after tellers questioned him. "He doesn't sound like the sharpest knife in the drawer," Bulger said. Not-So-Great Escapes Police responding to an emergency call in San Mateo County, California, spotted Tom Lovecchio, 52, driving away from the home of his estranged wife. The officers turned on their siren, but Lovecchio fled — in a motor home. The chase lasted about 20 minutes until Lovecchio pulled over and surrendered. The motor homes top speed was between 50 and 55 mph, according to Belmont Sgt. Dan DeSmidt, who pointed out, "It's probably not the best vehicle to get in a police chase with." • Police in Fredericksburg, Virginia, responding to an auto accident between a Mitsubishi coupe and a Honda received

reports that the Mitsubishi had been driving out of control, striking a traffic signal box, a stoplight pole, a business sign and another car before finally rear-ending the Honda at a red light. When officers arrived, the Mitsubishi driver had fled — in a street sweeper. Officers quickly caught up to the sweeper truck and arrested Leroy Hudson, 26. Handicapable A one-legged man entered a restaurant in Colorado Springs, Colorado, by removing his prosthetic leg and using it to break the restaurant window. Police said Michael Richards, 54, took money from the register but because he wasn't wearing his artificial leg he was unable to exit the business before officers arrived. • The manager of an auto parts store in Kansas City, Missouri, was counting money when a man in the store snatched the cash. While the two struggled, a mechanic came in, grabbed the man and threw him into a shelf. But the man had some money in his hands and started to run away. Grabbing for whatever he could, the mechanic seized the man's left leg below the knee. It turned out to be an artificial leg and popped off in the mechanic's hands, along with the man's pants. "So there he was," the manager told The Kansas City

Star, "a one-legged man wearing nothing but his boxer shorts, hopping through the snow." Where's the Oversight Committee When You Need One? The town of Brinson, Georgia, discovered that it was supposed to have elected two town council members in November, but officials never held the election because they mistakenly thought the terms expired later. • The voters of Hardeeville, South Carolina, elected Rodney Cannon mayor in 1996. After

quickly deciphered the message, which instructed a friend how to help Heike escape. They said Heike was shocked when they showed him his note with an English translation. "He admitted that he'd spent four years on this code," Sheriff Ken Mascara said. "He couldn't believe they deciphered it in an hour and a half." Tempus Fugit Hungary's Gizella Kosztor, 75, earned the nickname "Flying Gizi" during the 1950s when she took cheap flights from Budapest to rural towns, burgled homes and flew home in the evening. In

nEWs QuiRkS

BY ROLAND SWEET

serving a four-year term, he ran again in 2000 and was re-elected. This fall, Town Administrator Shane Haynes was studying the town's ordinances and discovered that the mayor's term is two years, not four. Brilliant Deduction Authorities at the St. Lucie County, Florida jail intercepted a note from inmate Robert Heike that contained a series of symbols. Suspecting it was some kind of code, detention deputies, led by puzzle fanatic Debra Wesley,

p l a c e

December, she was charged with stealing jewelry and cash worth nearly $1800 from five homes in Encs after police arrested her at the local railway station waiting for a train to the capital. She told police that she had come out of retirement to raise money to have her memoirs published but was forced to take the train because air fares have risen so much that she could no longer afford her trademark getaway.

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Still, It's Better Than the Middle Seat An unidentified American woman filed a complaint with Scandinavian Airlines System after being sealed to the toilet seat of a Boeing 767 jetliner. The airline explained that the woman pushed the flush button while seated, activating a high-pressure system to clean the toilet by vacuum. "She could not get up by herself and had to sit on the toilet until the flight had landed so that ground technicians could help her get loose," a SAS spokesperson told Reuters news agency. "She was stuck there for quite a long time." Repent Ye Sinners A 32-year-old Filipino farmer sliced off his penis with a machete because he believed it was driving him to sin. Noting that the man was obsessed with the Bible, his mother told reporters in Bacolod City that his act was probably triggered by the New Testament verse of Matthew 18:8: "If your hand or your foot causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire." Local news media reported that the man had visualized his penis as a "cobra" drawing him toward women.

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I B Y JERNIGAN PONTIAC our police officers were surrounding a young man on the sidewalk by the courthouse as I took the corner recently onto lower Church Street. Since I'm not above rubbernecking for a good street drama, I pulled into the convenient taxi stand at the side of Manhattan Pizza, cut the ignition and cracked my window. One of the cops stood face to face with the guy, who was yelling and gesturing forcefully. About 10 feet away, a blonde-haired young woman stood watching with tears in her eyes, hands on her cheeks. All the officers, even the one receiving the brunt of the guy's wrath, seemed relaxed, even placid. Though they're omnipresent on the streets during the latenight bar hours, the Burlington Police take a mellow approach to law enforcement. They're constantly interacting with the young people around them and, J when breaking up bar fights, they try to defuse the conflicts rather than enter with guns blaz- j ing, so to speak. I've seen it many times. "Hey, buddy," the cop said evenly, staring directly into the eyes of the distraught young man. "Look around. You're the only one shouting here." "But I told ya what happened!" the guy snapped back. "I told ya he..." j "I don't wanna hear it," the cop said. "You got a choice right now, but the window of opportunity is closing fast. Why don't you grab a cab — call it a night — and we won't take any further action. Hey, there's one at the stand." The two of them looked in my direction. Great, I thought, now I've entered the drama. I nodded my head, and the guy called to the blonde-haired woman, "Tina-— are you comin' with me or what?" Tina slowly raised her head from her hands. "Sure, Brian," she said hesitantly. "Are you sure that's what you want?" "Do whatever you want," he replied. "I'm getting the hell out of here." Brian crossed the street, Tina following behind. The two of them got into the back of the cab. For a moment neither said a word. Brian was holding his right hand over his nose, and now, at closer range, I noticed blood oozing slightly from a cut under his eye. "I've had it with you!" he yelled. "What the hell was that about, Tina? Just what was I sup-

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posed to do?" "Hey, folks," I interjected. If this was going to be a lover's quarrel, I wanted the ride underway and over as soon as possible." "Couldja give me an address?" "Williams Road in Malletts Bay, I guess," Tina said. "Yeah, that's fine, Tina. You go home. Cabbie, take me up to the emergency room. My nose is broken." "Brian," she said. "What do you mean? Your nose can't be broken." Her voice carried a mixture of wishing and pleading. It didn't sound like she had any idea

Brian said, shoving aside her arms. "You're a slut; I don't want anything to do with you anymore." "Brian, I told you. It was nothing." Tears were running down Tina's cheeks. "What else can I say? It was nothing." For a couple of blocks, there was no sound from the back except Tina's muffled crying. I was trying to decide who was right, like some hackie Judge Judy. Don't ask me why — this scene plays out in your cab, you're going to get involved, if only mentally. "Give me something to work with, Tina," Brian started up again as we passed the university. "That's all I'm asking; give me something to work with." "Jake's an old boyfriend, that's all. I was just being friendly." "Oh, that's great. That's supposed to make me feel better? I've had it with you, Tina. You're history." We turned right into the Fletcher Allen complex. The place is undergoing massive expansion and renovation, and the traffic flow is in constant flux. Every time I take someone there, I have to follow the directional signs to see where the emergency room entrance is that week. I pulled as close as I could to the door. "That'll be sue bucks if you're both getting off here." "You go ahead to Colchester," Brian said, barely glancing at Tina. "It's just me getting out." "I don't even have any money on me," Tina said between sobs. "Jeez," Brian said, shaking his head. I thought I detected a small crack in his wall of anger. "I guess you're coming with me, then." Brian paid the fare and, without speaking, the two of them got out and walked side by side toward the E.R. door. Driving back downtown, I wondered what Brian was going to say when the attending physician began examining his nose and asked, "Okay, what happened?" There are probably shorter and longer versions of this old story, but they all begin something like this: "Well, doc, I was at the club and I saw this guy kissing my girl..."®

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"Get the hell awa from me!" Brian said, shoving

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anything to do with you anymore." whether her boyfriend's nose was busted. "You're fine, Brian. I know >

you re tine. "Is that right, Tina? Well, feel this, all right?" He dropped his hand from his face, pointed to and gingerly rubbed a small bone where the nose meets the cheek. It was protruding unnaturally and, if I'd had to guess, I'd have said he was right about the break. It looked pretty bad. "Well, then, I'm going with you." " Wonderful, Tina. Whatever you say." "E.R. it is," I said, swinging the vehicle out into the road. "Why were you kissing that guy? What's his name — Jake? How the hell do you think it makes me feel? I gotta face those guys every day. I look like a freakin moron now!" In the rear-view mirror I saw Tina edge closer to Brian and lift her arms as if to embrace him. "Get the hell away from me!"

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EAT IT UP Can a Single Pebble multiply? What sounds like a Zen koan is also a standard tenet of culinary capitalism. After four years going gangbusters next to a bowling alley on the Barre-Montpelier Road, the best Chinese restaurant in Vermont — make that New England — is duplicating itself in Burlington. "If we replicate what we do here, it's a pretty solid blueprint for the Burlington market," says co-owner Phil Gentile. The restaurants recipe for success is authentic dishes conceived by his business partner, Chinese-trained chef Steve Bogart. Customers come from all over for his red-pine chicken, dryfried green beans and mock eel — including from Burlington, where Gentile sees "an opportunity for this style of Chinese cooking because the niche isn't being filled — really." Gentile and Bogart will start serving no later than May in the space currently occupied by the Sai-Gon Cafe. After eight years in operation, owner Phi Doane plans to shut the Vietnamese restaurant down with an open house on February 15. "I didn't feel like I wanted to get out of it, but when I talked to Steve, it just clicked," she says. "I'm tired of being there by myself all the time. It takes a lot out of you." The Pebble's propagation was precipitated by similar issues. At 53, Bogart can no longer spend long hours behind a stove because he suffers from acute arthritis in one foot. As "executive chef," he'll keep an eye on both kitchens without having to wok, or walk, too much. And there may be more locations in his future — perhaps even a chain of Pebbles. For now, though, Burlingtonians should be satisfied with a chip off the old block . . . The owners of Starry Night Cafe in Ferrisburgh are going their separate ways, but that means more good restaurants between Burlington and Middlebury. Restaurateur Fleury Mahoney plans to open a "great seafood" place in the space formerly occupied by Isabel's on the Waterfront. Her former business partner, Starry Night chef Michel Mahe, is going south, possibly to run the restaurant at the Swift House in Middlebury. A sous chef will likely replace him at Starry Night, and Mahoney recruited Chef Bill Allen from New England Culinary Institute to run the new place, where she aims to "blow people away" with a combination of creative cuisine and handcrafted decor. She's still looking for a name, though, and welcomes any suggestions at 425-6381. "People realize you can do a big-city restaurant here now," she says, citing Smokejacks, Trattoria Delia and The Waiting Room as high-end eating evidence... There's no doubt about it, the Burlington dining scene is heating up. After a slow pre-Christmas start, Penny Cluse Cafe is doing a brisk business at night. At the beginning of March, Stone Soup will extend its hours so you can sup and sip a glass of wine before the show. Even the sneeze guard over the salad bar looks better by candlelight. Rumor has it the new owner of Mr. Up's in Middlebury is about to close a deal on the building that housed Carbur's. Finally, enough evening eating options fit for a Queen City . . . Montpelier may lack Burlington's urban edge, but it's got plenty of places to chow down — with another one on the way. Cognoscenti — named for its owner, Dale Cognoscenti — "will not be a pasta restaurant, but I don't know if I'm going to call it upscale Italian, either. The whole concept is a lot about my upbringing," says the proprietor, who grew up in an apartment over his grandparents in an Italian-Irish neighborhood in Chicago. Cognoscenti plans to transform his "food memories" into a regular supply of fresh gnocchi, timballa, tortino and pizza by the pound. Decor-wise, he's going for a '50s Italian clubbish feel, with dark wainscoting and lots of Sinatra. An open kitchen and seven-seat eating bar will add to the intrigue. For now, Cognoscenti dedicated to dinners only, but lunch looks inevitable. Legislators would definitely flock to a place that translates, "people in the know."

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Ravenscroft Management Consultants IN BRIEF They may be on hiatus, but PhfSh let themselves be hooked for an appearance on "The Simpsons." The Vermont band gives an animated performance at the end of an April 7 episode in which Homer experiments with pot for medicinal purposes. It leads to a promotion at work, legalization efforts and a rally with rock 'n' roll. The boys willingly regrouped and flew to Los Angeles to record their parts. "It was a huge honor for them," says band spokesman Jason Colton. No word on how many takes, er, tokes, it took . . . Look for fleeting glimpses of Leunig's bartender Jamie West on the television sitcom "Will & Grace" Thursday night. The 31-year-old Burlingtonian got a walk-on part in the show as part of a package he purchased three years ago at a Vermont CARES auction. Airfare was included in the deal. "I play an eccentric millionaire at a hotel where Karen is throwing a Valentine's party," says West. "If the editors don't go crazy, I'll be in three of the scenes." Actor Matt Damon also appears in the episode. Meeting him, says West, was an "added bonus." ©

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p a g e 11a

Vows

A sampling of a!tar-nate utterances for the modern bride and'groom

That

Wow

B Y GEORGE THABAULT AND E T H A N C O V E Y

ou've agonized for months about venues, guest lists, bands, outfits, relatives and food. Now you're going to exchange boiler plate "vows" that sound like something out of a Shakespeare play? Why not make your lines match your lifestyle, reflecting core beliefs about love, honor and the tolerance you'll need to survive married life? Here are a few creative variations on the conventional exchange. Feel free to have and to hold them verbatim or adjust as needed to reflect your own identity.

For educators and graduate students: i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i •ll*«i|iiliiiillliiil IMMMMMMVi

rA<C£ YOU

TO B£ AAY Ctf/iF€, HUS~

Vows D a t e : February 14, 2002 9:13 PM F r o m : Buzz Nessman <buzzme@love.com> T o : Love Bucks <lovebucks@honeymoon.com> S u b j e c t ;

BAKD, P A R T H £ R , C i V i L Urtiotf A A A T E , S O U L A A A T £ , £ T C J \ P R O A A t S £ TO L € A R H FROM y o u A S YOUR S T A R P U P i L , A K D T E A C H YOU A S YOUR G R A T E F U L AA£tfToR, A L L T H A T \ XHOVU A H D F £ £ L 1^/irH AAy H £ A R T , T H R O ^ i H G G O L D S T A R S A T YOUR F £ £ T , U H T i L T H A T F i H A L D i S AAtSSAL B £ L L irt T H £ S K Y RiHGS F O R U S . U F £ tf/iLL B £ O U R C L A S S R O O A A , L 0 V £ O U R D i S O P U H £ AMD A T T £ H T i o r t To 0 H £ A H O T H £ R O U R HOAA£~ WORK. T O G £ T H £ R l W i l l A C £ O U R A A A T S - AAARiTAL A P r i f U D £ T E S T S - AMD £ A R H A A A A S T E R ' S O F R O A A A H C £ , A D O C T O R A L O F D £ V 0 r i 0 H . A H D l i^/tLL h o u o r r w £ ri^/o a a o s t i a a p o r t a h t £ a u A r t o n s : o h £

I, , take you, , to be my (wife, husband, partner, civil union mate, soulmate, etc.) I promise to invest my love in you through bull markets and bear markets, through upticks and downturns, through Fed rate increases and decreases, through every quarter of every cycle, until the ultimate Hostile Takeover do us part.

P L U S otf£ £ G I U A L S L 0 V £ , A H D C H £ A T i K G £ O . U A L S iAAAA£DiAT£ £ X P U L S i O H f I F U F £ H A M D S U S A F£|*/ F S , ! P R O A A i S F T O S T U D Y H A R D £ R S O \ C A H R £ - T A K ^ £ AAY T £ S T S t^iTH JOY AMD F£ARL£SSH£SS. A R G U £ A M D D £ B A T £ > iT t*/iLL B £ i^/irH R £ S P £ C T ; I i^iLL H £ V £ R S £ H D Y O U T o T H E " p i m m & r o o a a m W i t h o u t a h u g a h d a k'iss.

Our merger is a sure-fire, can't-lose, all-upside, value-added proposal. The hallmark of our union will be increasing output and growth. Our satin balance sheets will show rising profits, appreciating value, improving rates of return and positive love flow. Our contract of devotion will be iron-clad, with a strict non-compete clause. I will happily share mutual funds, and I promise to never lay you off, downsize you, right-size you or jump into bed with a competitor.

1^/iTH Y O U A S AAY T £ A C H £ R A U D AAY S T U D £ H T , T H £ R £ K/iLL B £ K o S U R P R i S £ G l U i Z Z £ S > J U S T O R A L S . T H £ R £ i^/iLL B £ HO G R A D U A T E FROAA O U R UHioH, OMLY £XTRA CR£DiT.

If God favors us with young subsidiaries, I promise to nurture them with age-appropriate infusions of venture capital and help them develop solid business plans, financial discipline and impressive stock options for their parent - company executives.

For native Vermonters: to be my (wife, kusban</, partner, civil

take you,

For entrepreneurs and businesspersons:

union mate, soulmate, etc.) ! promise to love an</ tanor you every Jay of the year, -from ice-fchfay season

Bottom line, you are my golden parachute, my LoveOlK, my nest egg, my heart's annuity, my Social Security, my pension and my Roth. Without you I am bankrupt, delisted, foreclosed, a tanking stock. With you as co-CEO of my heart, I am a darling of the Street, a chartbuster, a Master/Mistress of the Universe.

tfirou^fi trout, partri</<je, turkey, Jack and Jeer fiuntinc], an</ JuTfay the pre~season snowmobile safe?. I will stand by you </urih<j hayfay time, at Fair Week, t ^ r o u ^ u t mud season, during Jrouyhft abJ deludes, abJ t^rou<j(i tta>se lohcj summer spell? of clouds and cool weather w^eh our suhscreeh and sandaIs <jattier dust fa the closet. I'll sit by your side at town meeting, and cfieer vAeh you complain about snowp|owih<], posted Iand and tajfier taxes- If hew nei^bors come

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to dinner with tofu stew, I promise to be polite and only feed it to the Joy vAen they're wot looking

te be my fake you, (v/idtj husbgndj pniiherj cMl onion ' i£...a. Mterfold Vinyl Ift/te jcbwfcJe_

Marrying you will make me happier ttan (jetting an Act

permit

or winning the moose lottery. Our love will be as solid as the 6reen Mountains, stronger ttan a reJ oak, deeper tAan Lake Willou^by, more fionest tfiah George Aiken, loftier tfian a snow<joose over VeaJ Greek, a\\J ricfier

"Singes. YotTwill be the manager of my life, booto^l^T^Winin^ gigs toyelherj copyrightinc)~wrTofe'''4nt) reaping iP> royalties. BeYpick one) the Justin fe my Zrithey; the Mo b rnyZ everyone; the Keith fo my Mick; the loko to my John — if you

tfian the tax department on a h 15.

(xinuenence-wiU.rei/erberate vnftl i - ,

pagMOa^StmD&YS,

.february 6? 2002*«*

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ou've got to take off your shoes — and don on a pair of white satin gloves — to gain admission to Burlington's Sewly Yours & Once Upon a Bride. Embroidered in eggplantcolored cursive, the warning sign at the entrance of the shop sits on an antique table among pots of purple and white flowers and a wrought-iron trellis. It marks the transition from urban, slush-covered Church Street to a modernday Cinderella shop. Inside the doors, all is decorous, feminine and lovely. Racks of dresses wait serenely for their big day along with other bridal accoutrements such as garters, purses and ring-pillows. Wedding photographs scattered around the shop enhance the atmosphere — 19th-century brides formally posed next to their husbands in elegant, old-fashioned gowns and

more recent just-marrieds clad in trendy yellow, lilac or white designer dresses. The woman who makes it picture-perfect is the energetic dressmaker presiding over the shop. Debbie LaFromboise, 38, has found a bustling business in outfitting brides-to-be. Recently relocated from cramped, secondfloor quarters upstairs from a new, high-profile address in the former Banana Republic, LaFromboise offers services from new-gown tailoring to vintagegown restoration and sales. Unlike most bridal shops, hers caters exclusively to brides — bridesmaids need not apply. Strapless or longsleeved, lacy, embroidered or beaded, the gowns here are ready to be custom-fitted. Some are brand-new, made by well-known designers like Priscilla of Boston and Adele Wechsler; others date back to the turn of the last century.

LaFromboise has sizable collections of antique lace and fabrics from which she restores older dresses or crafts new ones. "Simple and elegant is always the catchphrase," LaFromboise sums up. "But every customer has her own idea of simple and elegant." Intricately beaded with crystals, pearls and miniature crosses, one ring pillow took LaFromboise more than 60 hours to construct. Hand-beading is the most time-consuming task, requiring both precision and patience. LaFromboise recalls one dress bodice made entirely out of a muslin lace pattern that was almost impossible to match. But such laborious details don't deter her from taking on the most involved and complex projects. "Simple profiles marked by hand-beading and embroidery Continued on page 14a

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SEVEN DAYS

page 11a

Trade Morris & Sonic Synthesis

Tying the Knots continued from page 13a

Saturday, February 9 at 8 pm "One of performance biggest names." (Eye)

poetry's

Powerful and sassy, elegant and literate, performance poet Tracie Morris is at the vanguard of the international performance poetry scene. Evoking sultry improvisational jazz vamping and DJ "scratching," Morris spins provocative rhymes about sensuality, spirituality, and urban life over her band's evocative soundscapes, blending rock, jazz, hip-hop, and funk with experimental tape loops, samples, and special effects. Champion of New York's prestigious Nuyorican Poetry Grand Slam, Morris and her band make pioneering, visionary African-American poetry and music.

are more in vogue than the more passe layers of skirting and taffeta," says LaFromboise. "Most brides today want functional dresses. They don't want to stand staunch and straight next to their

Community activities include a Performance Poetry Workshop and a Poetry jam. Call 802-652-4500 for information on these events and ongoing classes in theater. Presented in association with the University of Vermont's "Building Our C o m m u n i t y " Initiatives.

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husband holding his elbow; they want to be able to dance and move around in their dress." LaFromboise's own success story is Cinderella-esque, starting with a few scraps of fabric and how-to books. Taught to sew by her grandmother, she opened Sewly Yours and began doing alterations on everything from futon covers to bridal gowns as a part-time job after graduating from Milton High School in 1981. With no formal education in business or fashion, she worked her way from the bedroom of a rural trailer to the top of the Church Street Marketplace, pleasing more than 2000 brides in the process. "It makes me laugh now," LaFromboise recalls with evident satisfaction. "I was told this was not a viable career option." Eventually LaFromboise decided to focus just on brides. Constructing multiple bridesmaid dresses was both time-consuming and complicated, particularly since some of the women in wedding parties inevitably live out-of-state and had to mail in their measurements. This created the potential for a less-than-perfect fit, LaFromboise explains. Twenty years later, she's certainly earned the last laugh. Right now she has more than 40 gowns in the works, and customers call daily for appointments. The move last July allowed LaFromboise to expand her retail line and spread out some of her fabric and lace collections. There's also room to display some 200 vintage gowns shes picked up from antique shops and private sales. The unrestored gowns, which start at $700, are organized by decade and hung in the back of the store, waiting to be revived and take their turn on the sales floor. Between 30 and 50 restored gowns are ready to sell, says LaFromboise, who also happily resurrects gowns that have been in families for years. The combination of vintage

dresses and exclusive retail garments, which range in price from $1500 to $3000, offers an impressive and unique selection for incoming brides. But they can still have them made to order. Most women come in with a general picture of what they want in a wedding dress, LaFromboise informs, whether it's a picture from a magazine or a specific type of fabric or detail. "I had a clear idea of what I wanted," says former customer and current officer manager Bridget Mora. "The bodice I wanted had a lot of lace appliqud:; it was very intricate." LaFromboise worked with Mora to design the gown she'd imagined, making changes every step of the way, altering the sleeves, adding and removing boning. "A really small difference, like not putting lace on the sides of your torso, can make you look five pounds lighter," suggests Mora, who started working full-time for Once Upon a Bride last summer. As with other aspects of big traditional weddings, planning ahead is de rigeuer. Custom gowns take LaFromboise about six months to construct, involving eight to 10 individual appointments and start at $2500. During the initial consultation, which is free, she matches the bride-to-be's general ideas with her own expertise and attention to detail. The next few meetings involve a draping process in which LaFromboise uses the bride's body to shape, pin and measure the dress. The last fittings generally occur one to two weeks before the dress is to be picked up, and involve only minor alterations. Weight loss is almost inevitable, explains LaFromboise, who reports that most brides shed about 10 pounds prior to their big day. One woman, though, presented a special sewing challenge: She dropped more than 60 pounds in the months before her wedding. Far less common are the women dressing for two. LaFromboise has a number of styles especially designed for pregnant brides, which can be altered at the last minute to assure a flawless fit. She recalls one woman who was planning on wearing her grandmother's 1920s wedding dress, a straight and closely fitted gown. When the woman discovered she was pregnant two months before her wedding, LaFromboise was able to open up the back panel and add extra fabric, creating more room in the dress. "There's always a creative option," she contends. That attitude has kept the customers coming. LaFromboise attracts clientele from all over Vermont, as well as from New York and Montreal. "We provide a very intimate and personal service," says Mora. "But we have a good time, and people relax. You get to know these women very well. They're so excited, and when they finally find the right dress and they come out of the dressing room crying, it's nice to be a part of that." ®

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page 11a

Bridesmaid

Revisited

A sartorial surwiwal story from one of the wedding party

B Y A L E X I A BRUE

learned this past fall that no first-time bride is immune to princess-for-a-day.pitfalls. Even the most grounded, least materialistic women start to contemplate horse-and-buggy arrivals to the altar, and to cavalierly throw around the words like "disaster" and "catastrophe." There is perhaps no more painful position from which to watch wedding plans transform from fun party to overbudget Disney production than the sitting-duck role of bridesmaid. It all began with a timid phone call. "Would you be a bridesmaid in my wedding?" Laura asked. It sounded so innocuous, as if it were a one-day commitment, but I knew better, and I remember thinking: "Where to run?" It wasn't that I didn't love Laura, but I selfishly wanted to sit out the Bridezilla period from a safer distance. On the one hand, it was an honor, and I was touched that my friend would ask me in the supporting cast on the most important day of her life. On the other and less goodnatured hand, she was asking me to spend a lot of money that I would rather have put towards a washing machine.

"I'd be honored," I said. Even with the big day six months off, Laura spoke of nothing but band selection — jazz or pop? — wedding photographers and Chateaubriand versus lamb tenderloin. I was dating a professional photographer at the time, and Laura and her fiance dangled the bait in front of him. "George," Laura asked sweetly, "How do we find a photographer as good as you?" Knowing that Conde Nast magazine editors were more forgiving clients than brides, George knew not to touch this one. "Go with a professional who's done thousands of weddings... They wanted $5000 for the day? Yeah, that sounds reasonable," he advised over the phone. Occasionally Laura would remember her former self and inquire about the personal lives of her friends, but after two minutes or so she'd stare off into space and reply with non sequiturs such as, "Do you think I can find a dress you all will look good in?" After threatening her bridesmaids with various confections in satin and taffeta, Vera Wang gowns were suggested — which would set me back a washer and a dryer. But luckily, her true kindness resurfaced at the critical

'Maid to Order If you want your bridesmaids to like you after the wedding, here are a few suggestions from someone who's been there. • Give them specifications and let them choose their own dress. • Remember, not everyone looks good in an Empire waist or thinks peach is an appropriate color for a dress. • Better yet, give your bridesmaids an excuse to buy their dream dress. When my mother got married, the only direction she gave her maid of honor was to buy a dress she absolutely loved. • If you're going to dress your bridesmaids like Junior Misses, pick up the tab. It's your production, so pay for their costumes. • Don't expect your bridesmaids to fork over for professional hair and makeup. They don't care about the pictures as much as you do, so if you want them coiffed and polished, provide the service. And here's a tip for anyone in the wedding party: If asked to give a toast, keep it short and about the bride and groom. Try "Congratulations'' followed by a short anecdote that illustrates • ; ^w f perfectly matched they are, —A, B. ge2;page

SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2002

moment. Maybe it had something to do with one of the bridesmaids being five months pregnant. Laura told each of us to choose a formal, black, anklelength dress of our liking. This meant no dyed shoes, and that I'd look thin and stylish instead of like a helium balloon. Suddenly the wedding sounded much more bearable. Laura's emergency calls had even slowed. I'd heard all about the engraved invitations with the faded "r" in "Dr." They were reprinted. I'd sympathized with the engagement photo that collapsed Laura's neck. I even enjoyed the agonizing over whether Laura's gay friend Mark should be a groomsman or a bridesmaid. I reminded myself that in saner times Laura viewed the world with hysterical commentary, but that for the moment her world had narrowed considerably. I could only hope that my old friend would return from her Caribbean honeymoon a normal, if slightly more boring, married version of herself. Notably, she never expressed doubts about David, the groom. Still, I gave her my own advice, taking pains to remind her, "Laura you're not stuck with him. Never feel trapped. If you think he's cheap now, you're going to think he's really cheap in 40 years. There's nothing final about a wedding." > It wasn't the most romantic advice, but I figured she was getting enough rose-petal speeches. How better to soothe jitters, even if she wasn't having any, than to

remember there were always options. Jessica Sklar certainly did, divorcing her husband of six weeks to marry Jerry Seinfeld.

went on the obligatory lunch

and fitting outings in New York, found my own dress at Nan Patrick, and bought a present for the shower I had to miss. There was one unattended detail. I dreaded being the saddest of all creatures — an unattached bridesmaid, especially since I knew few of Laura's friends and didn't want to have to smile and extrovert my way through the evening. I needed a low-maintenance date, someone who would be happy on his own at a big party, who'd be willing to rent a tux and spend a day at a Long Island Country Club. I called the sweetest boy I know: my brother. "Do you remember the pigout wedding scene in Goodbye Columbus?" I asked Erik over the phone, "At Ron's wedding ... no, Ron's the brother who always played the 'Goodbye Columbus' record ... Remember that obscene buffet and Neil is, like, 'What am I doing here?' Right, so picture the Patimkin wedding, multiply that by 10, and that's what Laura's wedding is going to be like. And you get to wear a tux!" Thus, with the promise of an excessive buffet, I convinced my 26-year-old law student brother to escort me. The rehearsal dinner, an exercise in frugality hosted by the grooms parents, was fol-

lowed by three full hours of toasts. Each was alarming for its own reasons. The groom's father, a famous doctor with an suspect interest in surveillance, played an audiotape of a phone call that Laura and David made from Paris to announce their engagement. Every last friend of the bride and groom made a 10-minute speech. Many of them actually had very little to do with the couple — which one groomsman addressed in his intro, "I'm going to diverge from the theme and give a toast that's not about myself." The next afternoon at 2, I was choking on hairspray at a Long Island hair salon. The rest of the bridal party was already coiffed and at the country club, but I was still sitting in a vinyl chair suffering a French twist, while the hairdresser told me I had "just too much hair." When I finally got to the country club, wearing jeans and a severe Grace Kelly look, I bumped into the grooms father, who was roving the empty lobby with his digital videocam. "Alexia just arrived," he narrated. "Alexia, isn't this an exciting day? Say something for the camera." So I asked what I'd been wondering for the last 12 hours. "Did you just happen to have a tape recorder handy when they called from Paris, or do you record all your phone calls?" "Oh, ha ha ha, Laura is just down the hall on the right," he said. Laura was just slipping into her dress and looked breathtak-

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ing. We all gathered around — Laura's mother, David s mother, the three bridesmaids — and marveled at the transformative powers of a white ball gown. Laura smiled, too. She seemed calm for the first time in months. She smiled all afternoon on that crisp, Indian-summer October afternoon. The twohour photo shoot took place on the lawn outside the country club's gabled mansion. The wedding photographer deftly mixed members of the wedding party in rapid-fire musical chairs: "bridal party... groom's extended family... bride's immediate family." After an hour of this, Laura was still beaming, with no sign of facial paralysis. "You're doing great," I said, finding my bouquet very heavy. "You've been smiling for an hour straight. That's impressive." She responded with her characteristic directness, "It's the happiest day of my life — of course I'm smiling." After pictures, it was time for the rehearsal, which was also captured step-by-step by both the photographer and the groom's father. Mr. Gorsky, the manager, marched us through our parts so quickly that everyone looked too confused to say anything, or to ask to repeat the choreography we would perform in half an hour. Guests began to arrive. We were cloistered in the back room for the signing of the Ketubah, a Jewish marriage document. Then there was a lot of waiting — an endless half-hour with nothing to photograph and no wine to drink. Then, suddenly, it was time to begin. We walked down the aisle, this time with an audience and without Mr. Gorsky shouting at us to slow down. I didn't trip, stood to the left of the chuppah, and hoped I wasn't blocking anyone's view. As the ceremony began, I saw the photographer hiding behind a potted plant near the chuppah. He grew more and more brazen as the ceremony began to drag. "Psst," he finally hissed. I looked over, and he motioned for me to move another bridesmaid so he could get a straight shot of Laura and David. I looked away, pretending not to see him, and concentrated on holding my bouquet. Fortunately, Laura was too happy to notice anything strange on her wedding day. After months of obsessing over minutiae, she was relaxed and remarkably sober. She didn't even notice when her father-in-law started breakdancing, or when Mr. Gorsky asked one of the bridesmaids to sit on his lap. She was princess for a day, and everything was perfect.

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t wasn't just any Elvis impersonator that Bernadette and

David Mills landed when they tied the knot in Las Vegas last year. He was the most soughtafter Elvis impersonator in show biz. The Burlington couple had eschewed a traditional ceremony at home for an elopement to Sin City's famed Little White Chapel, where the walls are lined with red velvet. The King ^ wannabe was part of the package, serving as both witness and * entertainer. For people hoping to give m a t r i m o ^ ,, unique twist, eccentric wedding options • abound. In the Nevada nuptials, Love ^ Me Tender became Marry Me Whimsical. "It wasn't like a lifelong dream," Bernadette Mills explains, describing the escapade. "David was going to Vegas for a snowboard convention. We figured it was a perfect place, because lots of our friends would be there from all over the country." The 28-year-old education director for Burlington City Arts had seen a story on the Discovery Channel about the chapel, which boasts such basketball legends as Michael Jordan and Dennis Rodman among its former clientele. Dressed in a fringed jumpsuit with a high collar and sequins, the fake Elvis serenaded them down the aisle and later delivered a finale of — what else? — "Viva, Las Vegas." In addition to enjoying an adventure in high kitsch, the Vermonters found themselves on a sentimental journey thanks to the Southern Baptist minister » who officiated. "He made us both cry," Bernadette recalls. "Afterwards, we took our pals out for Chinese." They also merged wedlock with instant honeymoon by visiting the faux Paris, Venice and New York cityscapes constructed in Las Vegas, a tourist destination devoted to artifice. Some couples prefer to go a little deeper. The real world of

scuba diving sounds positively make-believe when Betsy Carter reminisces about getting hitched to Chris Whipple in an underwater Florida cave in late 1999- "We were about 60 feet below the surface on a flat rock that looked sort of like an altar," explains the Colchester resident, owner of a property management company. "I was wearing a black Neoprene wetsuit with a garter my cousin

ter idea, though, because the soap immediately dissolved. Carter and Whipple had difficulty slipping the rings on each other's fingers. And they couldn't kiss without removing the regulators from their mouths — a bit dangerous at 60 feet below, Carter points out. "But we did hug." Although they opt to live in a landlocked state — Whipple grew up in Newport, Carter hails

"I was wearing a black Neoprene wetsuit with a garter my cousin ave me at my bridal shower, wound around my air tanks." r —Betsy Carte / gave me at my bridal shower, and I had white artificial flowers wound around my air tanks." Apart from two cave-diving instructors in attendance, Carter says the only other guests in the wedding party were uninvited albino crayfish and blind catfish. Carter and Whipple, who met five years earlier through their mutual passion for diving, chose to take each other for better or for worse at Peacock Springs State Park in Luraville — about 40 miles northeast of Gainesville. The park sits on a freshwater aquifer with 1000 miles of submerged limestone caves. They first walked through the woods and jumped into one of many crystal-clear sinkholes. After descending to a cave opening, the foursome in scuba gear swam one mile to reach the section with the makeshift altar. One of the instructors "went through the motions" of conducting a ceremony, according to Carter, 48. The bride and groom silently read vows they had written on special underwater slates. Whipple: "She's my friend, lover, diving buddy." Carter: "Our love's as timeless as the rock that surrounds us." They tried to exchange rings slathered with dishwashing liquid and carried in plastic baggies. Vaseline might have proved a bet-

from South Burlington — wedded bliss remains a soggy affair. "We dive in the Rutland quarry and Lake Champlain," she adds."We ice-dive when it freezes."

ater was an element in the otherwise grounded wedding of Emily Hayford and Jean-Paul Bisson, University of Vermont graduates now living in Arizona. In June, the ceremony took place at the Trout Club, a turn-of-the-20thcentury fishing lodge near Stowe. The best man then rowed the bride and groom across a small, manmade lake, which the guests circumnavigated along the shore in order to greet them. "It was a surprise to us," says James Hayford, the bride's Burlington-based father. "Even though she was wearing a nice white dress, my daughter was game for anything." Ricky Bowen, who has billed herself as the Wedding Wizard for 14 years of planning such events, also had clients who opted for a splashy flourish during their celebration at Kingsland Bay State Park. Instead of driving away in a limo with tin cans tied to the rear bumper, "they sailed off into the sunset," she says. "I'm a resource person," Bowen explains. "My job is to

tie from his maternal grandfather with a tie clip from his paternal grandfather — put on a gold band that once belonged to Charlesworth's grandfather, the chap on the invitation.

with an alternative that's close, but 'no' is not in my vocabulary. I create whatever they want... unless it's ducks." When a couple getting married in Johnson several years ago asked to mimic a quaint Chinese custom, Bowen had to think fast. "They wanted geese to walk down the aisle. I told them geese are nasty creatures, so they settled for wooden ducks as decorations." At around the same time, quacks gave way to oinks when Bowen was hired to do her thing for a young man from an upscale Connecticut family marrying a Quebec farm girl just across the border from Jay Peak. "Her vision was a pig roast with balloons," Bowen recalls. "His mom asked for help. I came up with an ele- * gant roast pig. We had a huge balloon arch, but white wicker chairs for the couple to sit in and linen tablecloths instead of plastic." Another iffy proposition, three years back in Waitsfield, was the bride who envisioned a contra-dance wedding with red-andwhite-check tablecloths and hay bales. "When I saw that her dress was silk and lace, I thought: 'This is not for hay bales,'" Bowen remembers. "We switched to taupe tablecloths, potted flowers and herbs as centerpieces, and blue hydrangeas as landscaping in the tent. After dinner, they all changed into blue jeans and tiedye shirts to dance." A more sedate shindig last summer involved a civil union during which two male partners walked through a labyrinth of stones in Monkton. "They wanted a ceremony with all kinds of auras," Bowen notes. "It was like a silent meditation that took about 15 minutes. There wasn't a dry eye."

asha and Lori Lemnah's civil union last fall was a step back in time. After the South Burlington lovebirds decided to make it official on Halloween, Pasha sewed them both Empire-waist costumes with Renaissance flair. Lori's satin dress was off-white and peach over a sheer peasant blouse, with a light green satin cape that had a threefoot train. Pashas more ornate brocade gown, in various shades of beige, was trimmed with lace

and pearls; her beige coat included a one-foot train. "I'm a very poofy, politically incorrect, lipstick lesbian," she acknowledges. "Femme all the »

way. *• Both women wore masks that would have been all the rage in the 16th century, as did their two witnesses: Lori's mother and Pashas 16-year-old son. In this century, Pasha is a nurse, Lori a processing manager for a large corporation. They gave each other gold rings with rainbow-colored diamonds. Lori's was inscribed with "My Love Forever" in Spanish. "We're both very romantic," explains Pasha, whose own ring spelled out an updated version of her childhood nickname: "W^iifCElS'inc^s.'' Personal history was also a ^ factor when Lisamarie Charlesworth tried to figure out how to marry Thomas Simpson on a modest budget last November. With help from artistic colleagues, she made invitations by scanning the 1928 wedding photograph of her maternal grandparents. That was just one way the St. Albans couple brought the past into the present on their wedding day. Although the lace was still salvageable, much of the fabric on her grandmothers flapper-style dress had disintegrated — the garment spent more than 70 years wrapped in newspaper. Charlesworth decided to resurrect it. Her pal Karen Sener researched wedding attire from that period and bid on eBay for an old pattern that seemed to echo the antique. "It was almost identical, actually. It was uncanny," says Charlesworth, a production manager at Christensen Design in Burlington. "Gram's dress was tea-length. I wanted ankle-length. We matched the champagne-colored fabric." Her grandmother's veil was reconfigured as well; two bundles of pale wax flowers that had been fastened to either side were taken apart and fashioned into a halo shape. "The original was too Princess Leia," Charlesworth suggests. Her diamond and sapphire engagement ring, meanwhile, had been given to a great-great aunt in the 1920s by a man she never actually married. At their recent wedding, Simpson — wearing a

voking highlands full of purple heather, one of caterer Roy St. Pierre's favorite assignments was a lowkey gathering at the Old Lantern in Charlotte last summer. "After the ceremony, a bagpiper came out of the mist," he says. "Then, they offered swing dance lessons." In Milton two years ago, St. Pierre worked on a conventional wedding that wound up as a sports activity. Milk crates full of golf balls were produced. The guests, in tuxes and gowns, grabbed the clubs they had brought along and transformed a field into a fairway. "There are so many second and third marriages these days, not to mention less money to throw around," St. Pierre observes. "So, weddings tend to be more relaxed now." Quite possibly nothing can top the relaxed — make that wacky — ambiance when Lisa and Larry Martin said their I do's at what was a second marriage for both. While the Jeffersonville duo staged a memorable festivity, Lisa's recollection of the actual date is now a bit fuzzy. Perhaps 1991, she speculates. The bride wore a black lace dress with a blue feather boa, blue mask and long, blue silk gloves. Her hair was red with blue highlights for the occasion, and she carried a bouquet of "flowers" carved from turnips, carrots and peppers. "Larry came as a frog," Lisa says of her groom. "He had a silver lamd tux, a green papiermache frog's head, black flippers and black rubber gloves." The justice of the peace, who happened to be their landlady, was decked out as Georgia O'Keeffe and read vows attached to a painter's palette. The best man had outfitted himself as Bozo the Clown. Lisa popped a long Pinocchio-like nose on her daughter Galadriel, named for the Lord of the Rings elf queen. But the highlight of the evening surely came with the "fish slap dance" that the Martins performed. Although they told assembled friends and relatives it was a French-Canadian "rite of passage," the routine was actually inspired by an old Monty Python skit: As they executed a little jig, Lisa and Larry smacked each other with dead fish. Someone slipped her "a big smelly cod, and I floored him with it," she says of the humorous husbandbashing. A "fiftyish" Stowe native and ad saleswoman for the County Courier in Enosburg, Lisa admits her unsuspecting parents were stunned. They also had to make sense of a wedding cake in 10 different flavors, with little plastic arms, mice, poinsettias and such sticking out from the blue frosting. If they could see it clearly, that is, what with the smoke machine emitting atmospheric fog all evening. Taking marital idiosyncrasy to new heights, Lisa recalls, "we just went as gaudy as we could get." ®

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A reclining writer celebrates the ups and downs of getting horizontal

B Y GRETCHEN GILES

very 16 hours or so, most humans simply wish to do one thing: drop. Down we inevitably go, spending our nights in that rasping, dreaming, snoring state of sheet-trapped flatulence and night sweats known as sleep. Ever adaptable, we can essentially drop anywhere — in a car alongside the freeway, on a small fragrant fluff of pine needles in a forest, at a dinner table alongside the sOup, on the couch or on a ledge, in an igloo or an office chair, under the desk or a bridge. Yet given a choice of where to sleep, most of us will take the bed. A chillingly simple description of Western lifelines is easily sketched by the bed that accompanies each stage: cradle, crib, single bed, bunk bed, dorm bed, futon, double bed, childbirth bed, family bed, king-sized bed, death bed. Whether public or private, beds are obviously for sleeping. But they're also for reading, eating breakfast, lovemaking, doing crafts, being ill, drinking coffee and wine, listen-

ing to the radio, watching television, talking on the phone, nursing the baby, telling stories to the children, telling secrets to lovers, paying bills and writing poetry. Beds are small islands tucked away in their own rooms where any and all of these activities may occur. Glassblowing, jam making and carpentry are among the few things that can't be accomplished in bed. Hell, Massachusetts governor Jane Swift campaigned from bed, confined there last year while carrying her twins to term. Southern novelist Flannery O'Connor wrote some of her most acclaimed work while in bed, crippled with lupus. Forced to return to her mother's Georgia farm, O'Connor sat up in the sticky sheets notating by hand while peacocks screamed outside in the heat. From that isolated territory, her imagination caressed the heartbreaking and the grotesque. My great-aunt Mabel took to her bed when she was 67, determined to die. A hale and healthy Christian Scientist, she decided to let God have her — and soon,

please. Four years later she still sat there, a fierce set to her jaw and wearing a variety of begrimed satin bed jackets. Too greedy to starve herself, she finally wasted away from an early dementia that was unattractively satisfying to close family members. While beds indeed host the sick, the pregnant, the reader, the toast eater, the artist and the insane, much of the time they remain just one uncomfortable point of inquiry away from intimacy. We will ourselves not to imagine relatives — especially our parents! — having sex or producing babies on those mattresses; we avoid considering an uncle's hairy back and how it might catch on the chenille. It's one thing to giggle over tales of your best friend's new lover; it's quite another to consider that stuffed-animal-strewn comforter under which he performs. We will put our jackets and purses on beds at dinner parties, or lay visiting babies there to nap. But we formally ignore the bed's private functions in our public lives.

fob 01/ \t£rv

Yet an intensely private and ents' bed. It was long and narpersonal place it is, for either the row, with unlovely sheets and a celibate or the lusty. Thomas single thin blanket marred with Moore, the savant priest who age balls. At the tender age of writes extensively on sexuality, 12, I instantly understood that suggests in his book, The Soul of they no longer loved each other, Sex, that a bedroom should be a shook my head sagely and went sanctuary, with the bed itself an to rejoin the Yahtzee! game. opulent altar. One's own personOn the lighter side, my al notion of opulence — be it friend Margaret once slept with silk, sleeping bags or organic cot- a man she barely knew simply ton — dictates. because he phoned and anA self-professed epicurean, nounced that his new feather Moore insists that in order to bed had just been delivered. No give and receive pleasure, one further seduction, no candlelight must eat well, laugh often, and meal, was needed. Custommake the best use of the bedmade? she purred. Yes, he oozed. room. Even if no one shares dm space with you, it should offer comfort, voluptuousness, safety and beauty however vou define those. A spray of $3 daffodils and a well-washed comforter from the thrift store handily fill this bill. One needn't splurge on 600-threaci count Egyptian sheets or a bedside fridge, rhough thev do sound grand. just as iovers evolve men. own language, so too do they create a personal iconography images that hint at shared times, in-iokes or sexua- proca7 ines can fill the walls, bespeak ing the private slang of ones own marriage or love affair. I once returned from a bu^teesslSl trip to discover that my had painted our bedroom cab Inets a deep mustard color, pu r chased a bouquet of red tulips, put a favorite photograph of us in in inexpensive/^* silver trame and remade the bed in new sheets. It was like coming home to our own intimate ver sion of the Ritz. His ministra:'.ons made the bedroom, and the bed, a wholly new and richsa expression of our shared lives, though they were probably unimpressive to anyone else. She was in his bed like a shot. lie children, for example, wer» Another friend, Richard, stoutly u n m o v e d . careened through the last of his That said, I once fell into an college years and into his midaccidental swoon of fiercely twenties as a "Couch God." He pointed jealousy when searching explains that a Couch God for the bathroom at a dinner denies the personal burdens of party Stumbling into the hosts domesticity — he just borrows bedroom, 1 discovered that the them. Surfing his friends couchbed itself stood some four feet es, sleeping as he went on the from the ground, an incredible lumps and springs and crumbled monument that one had to potato chips and loose change of scramble up into. Above the borrowed sofas, Richard believes headboard, the hostess was that a Couch God is among the immortalized as a gorgeous last free men in the Western Athena in a six-foot acrylic nude world, particularly if he's young, portrait. The lighting was dark educated and white. This hobo and red, the furnishings plush. of the living room attains his lib-, Helpfully following, the hostess erated status essentially by refusgiggled at mv surprise. "How do ing to own a bed. Along with you get in each night?" I asked, such blanket rejection, of course, like the pallid suburban frau I comes a denial of long-term intisuddenly felt myself to be. "Oh, macy, mortgages or visiting an he throws me in," she said gaily. Ikea outlet. I bit my lip. Bitch, I thought For my buddy Dennis, a bed unkindly. "Thanks," I said, turn- is a symbol of yearning. For ing the bathroom knob. years he endured the chaste My earliest knowledge of penance of sleeping upon a foam such sanctuary also came when I yoga mat, refusing to purchase once used the master bathroom even so much as a futon until he in a friend's house. On my way had a suitable lover. He thinks out 1 glanced briefly at her parhe's found her now, though, and

firiimiiiTffl

last we spoke the happy couple were on their way to get lunch and price queen-sized mattresses. "Hooray!" I shouted a bit too heartily, knowing the lengthy prelude to this shopping expedition for a proper bed. "Thanks," he said with shy pride, then added with lowered voice, "we plan to break it."

Your

ctually, I know lots of people who have broken their beds — or someone else's; curiously, one rarely seems to break one's own. I myself have broken my sisters bed, and she broke our mother's guest bed. My cousin Diane took advantage of her gay father and unhappy mothers 20th anniversary weekend away to break their bed with a variety of partners. "Someone has to use it!" she hissed in furious late-adolescent rebuttal across the dinner table. The family sat in silent awe, considering not so much her flamboyant sexuality as her flamboyant disregard of the sanctity of the marriage bed — however arid it may be. While we may spend early adulthood frolicking indifferently across squatters' mattresses on the floor, the marriage bed has an impermeable dignity to it. Even the most adulterous spouse knows better than to foul it. The average 60 by 80 inches of a queen-sized mattress has been both the wrestling mat for arguments and for buoyed forms enjoying the sweetest times. It has felt both the warm rest of two relaxed sleepers and the icy elbow-shove of those too restless to cooperate even when dreamingMy parents maintain a vacation home with an appropriately masterly kind of bed, but they've very carefully designated it as a small, private Switzerland — anyone may sleep in it. At their everyday house I'd never even consider sitting on their bed. But at the "cabin," I can idly pick their hairs off the blanket and climb right into the sheets without thinking twice. We've all tacitly agreed to avert our eyes from the specter of lust — theirs or ours. But all is not necessarily happy times and pheronome funk. Our good friend Sharon, whose husband died last summer, insisted that my lover and I use her bed when we recently visited. We protested, and she insisted. "It would be nice," she said softly, "to have happy people in it once again." So we slept in it, made quiet love in it, and hoped to heal it. All we really did, of course, was to produce more laundry, but we did so realizing that a bed is more than just a place to lie down. It's a place for one-third of our lives. ®

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ge2;page 2 a

SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2002

MAXIM

Iffliiili!

he first time was promising, the second was exciting, but with our third biennial Sex Survey, we wondered whether it would still be good for you. And, of course, whether you'll still respect us in the morning. So it was a relief to see our names in the eligible bachelorettes list — gee, thanks! We took that to mean the affair is still on. At any rate, six years is a lot longer than some of you people have been enamored of each other. Longevity of relationships is not the norm among Seven Days surveyees, but then, some of you are still on the young side. Regardless of age, gender, sexual orientation or political affiliation, however, a lot of you are having more fun in the bedroom — or wherever — than seems legal. Actually... some of it isn't. This year's respondents are, by and large, an experienced bunch — none claimed to be a virgin. A third have at least one child. More than half have had at least one illicit fling. Because the survey was anonymous, we assumed a fair degree of honesty in the answers, but we couldn't help suspecting just a teensy bit of hyperbole — e.g., thousands of lovers? Come now. Full disclosure: The number of Republican respondents was statistically insignificant, but we went ahead and made specious generalizations about them anyway. Otherwise this survey is just chock-full of pretty hard data. Our thanks to the hundreds of people who took the time to fill out and turn in questionnaires. You've certainly enlightened, stunned and entertained us, and we can only hope you'll get a rise out of reading our analysis, maybe even learn a trick or two. Oh-lay. » PAGE 24A

gender 47% men 51.7% women 1.2% other

age 16-75 years old 49% 22-35 years old 34% 36-55 years old

sexual

orientation

71% heterosexual 12.2% homosexual 16% bisexual

status 15.7% single and miserable 21.7% single and content 23.3% going steady 32.7% partnered and content 6.6% partnered and miserable

political

affiliation

6.1% Republican 36.7% Democrat 18.2% Progressive 39% other/independent february 6, 2002

DAYS

page 23a

s i

THE SEVEN DAYS SEX SURVEY (CONTINUED FROM

o n s

PAGE 23A)

VI < \

® I lost m y virginity w h e n I was , years old. We've got a classic bell curve on this one, with the greatest percentage of men (59%) and women (74%) losing their virginity between the ages of 15 and 19. None of the respondents claimed to still be immaculate, as it were. We are mightily impressed with the gay guy who lost his virginity just five years ago, at the ripe age of 39, and has squeezed in more than 100 lovers since. A late, but great, bloomer! He's the latest, in fact — only 14 percent of men and 8 percent of women held out 'til they were 21 or older. An even dozen people in our sample were deflowered before the age of 13, and we don't even want to think about that.

My lover and I have a monogamous/open relationship... The good news: 68 percent of our respondents are monogamous. The bad: 8 percent of them wish they were sleeping around. We won't judge those who have an "open" relationship, but shame on you people who say you have an open relationship but your lover "doesn't know it." This is called cheating (see below).

56%

66.2%

My lover and I have a monogamous relationship.

sample apparently got away with it. That could explain why more than half the respondents have risked extracurricular activities. Ten people refused to answer the question, but we assume the worst. Unfortunately, we did not ask people to specify whether they were cheating right now... If this chart is any indication, though, the most likely to fool around would be a bisexual Republican woman. Something to keep in mind.

41% 71.9%

51% 71.9%

have cheated got away with it

Het 52.8% 69.2%

Homo 56.7% 75%

Bi 60.4% 82.7%

have cheated got away with it

Rep. 68.4% 84.6%

Dem. 54.3% 79.6%

Prog. O/I 42% 57% have cheated 58.3% 71.8% got away with it

# I a m happy the Vermont legislature legalized civil unions... No surprises here. More than a year since homosexuals won the right to tie the'knot in Vermont, the subject is a non-issue for the vast majority of Seven Days surveyees — 86 percent of men and 94 percent of women approve the civil-union move. The Republicans were split down the middle, but they're a relatively small portion of our sample, so we won't jump to any conclusions.

9.6% 11% My lover and I have an "open" relationship. 7.2% 6.2% My lover and I have an "open" relationship, but my lover doesn't know it. 15.2% 9.6% I am not monogamous but would like to be. 11.2% 5.5% I am monogamous but would rather be sleeping around.

I have cheated on a partner... I did/did not get away with it... Yikes. Cheating and getting caught would seem to go hand in hand, but 72 percent of the unfaithful in our ge2;page 2 a

SEVEN DAYS

What's the nicest thing anyone ever said to you during sex? Maybe porking and poetry Just dont go together. In the sack, people wax more like Snoop Doggy lines a lime d over, bitch" and "tit,it thing is huge." But there were some inspired ones, like "I cant tell where you end and I begin" 'and "You eat pussy better than a lesbian." Questionable compliments include "I want to see what I am fucking," "You can come now" and the Lolita-like "How old is your daughter?" v with the classic "oooh, ahhh, eeee" and its variation, "oh, oh, oh, yes, yes, ahhhh.* A few highlights: • •

u to

• • • • •

I can't take one more orgasm That's your pussy! I forgot how awesome you were You do that very nicely Your breasts ought to be cast in bronze I I P :sss \ the ass. I don't let my husband do it there, but youre betaSr than he is • Haying sex with you is a cosmic experience :: the sun • I like it when you bite me there ran in the world .it?

• No, its just the right size • You're a professional g-IKMB

I a m pro-choice/ anti-abortion... On the hot-button topic of abortion, Seven Days respondents again prove themselves pretty liberal — including the Republicans. Suffice it to say that only 10 people in the entire sample were not pro-choice.

W> My shortest/longest relationship (has) lasted... We just looked at the shortest and longest extremes with this question, because, well, they're more fun. That said, Attention Deficit Disorder may be an epidemic, but really, people: An hour or less does not a "relationship" make. There's supposed to be a middle sandwiched between the beginning and the end. But maybe the 16 respondents for whom a relationship can be the length of, say, "Law and Order" know something we don't?

february 6, 2002

• It happens to everybody • O h , shit

• Look at that cock —- just look at it w t o use that thing • I want to wake up to you every morning • God, you

Chances are the 55-year-old man and 63-year-old woman who reported relationships of 35 and 41 years, respectively, thought they might be the most seasoned respondents to our survey. But no. That honor goes to a 75-year-old gentleman who has been happily married for 53 years. Well, we don't know for sure he's been happy that whole time, but the fella still thinks about sex three times per day, bless his heart. And we'll stop right there in case his grandchildren are reading this.

PAGE 26A

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True Confessions THE SEVEN DAYS SEX SURVEY {CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24A)

W I have faked an orgasm at least once...

I have sex with a partner at least times per...

W I think about sex approximately times per...

Everyone wants to know how their own love life stacks up, so we fine-tuned the classic "gettin any?" with the more pointed "how much?" Our survey offered week, month and year as the units of time, but with the magic of arithmetic we translated all the responses into number of sexual encounters per week. Except for those whose frequency would then have become a sad, shriveled fraction. First, the extremes: The lustiest Seven Days respon-

Gosh, we don't know how some people get anything done, their minds are so often... down there. Here we found the responses skewed in both directions: 48 percent of our sample thinks about sex a relatively modest one to five times per day. And an impressive 36.5 percent is distracted by impure thoughts more than once an hour! Let's pause here to thank the first group — especially the women, who outnumber men almost three to one — for keeping the economy chugging

Tom Messner might wipe that grin off his face if he knew a 25-year-old bisexual female wanted to sit on it. dent is a 20-year-old hetero woman who claims to have sex 22 times per week! Just for the record, she's not a "professional," and she doesn't masturbate, either. (We did note that she claims to think about sex only 12 times per week, so we deduce she's doing the other 10 without thinking.) Next highest is a guy with a far more plausible 10 times per week. Only five other individuals — all women — joined the achievers with a brisk 10 or more conjugations per week. On the opposite side of the bed, so to speak, we found 11 men and 11 women who rise to the occasion, fewer than 10 times per year. Interestingly, five of each gender make sex an annual event. We can't help but wonder whether they're married... to each other. The majority rules? Fifty-seven percent have one to four close encounters per week, and nearly 19 percent more clock in with five to nine.

along. Those in the second group, we can only assume, have something to do with the recession. But enough about science — we'd rather contemplate the anecdotal. In this case a 45-year-old grandmother takes the cake: She thinks about sex 100 times per hour. (And, yes, she confesses to masturbating on the job.) Compared to her, even the guy who claims 1000 times per day is focused on his work. The math simply got too fuzzy with the guys who answered "eight days a week" and "all day." At the other end of the spectrum is a 33-year-old bisexual male who says he thinks about sex only two times per month. Upon closer examination of his survey, however, we decided he must have misunderstood the question, or recently became a monk. After all, the guy claims to have "worked in the sex industry," had "numerous" lovers, and finds "fresh air" the best aphrodisiac. Go figure.

Pamper ^our Valentine!

This peculiar little white lie has survived women's liberation, the Clinton years and the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, and we just have to ask: What's the point? A whopping 76 percent of the women in our sample have faked it. OK, we can commiserate with situations that just need to end already, if you get our drift. But the real question is for the 37 percent of men who have faked orgasm: How? Isn't the proof in the, um, pudding? While women are far guiltier of this relatively harmless transgression than men, there's not a lot of difference among sexual orientations or political parties — " 55 to 60 percent across the board have told a partner they came when they really went.

I have multiple orgasms... The French quaintly call an orgasm la petite mort, but we're not sure what they think of beaucoup de "little deaths." Among our sample, in any event, only a few factoids are of particular interest. For starters, a mere 20 lucky people claimed to always have multiple orgasms, and most of them are heterosexual women. Only one of them is a Republican. But an impressive 71 percent of women say they sometimes come in multiples — and so do nearly 59 percent of the guys! Politically speaking, the independents seem the most gifted in this department, and homos have a respectable edge over hets and bis. »

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february 6, 2002 , SEVEN DAYS

page 11a

True Confessions THE SEVEN DAYS SEX (CONTINUED FROM PAGE 26A)

SURVEY m.

I have done the following...

I have masturbated at work...

The "done" deal? When it comes to sexual activity, it looks like fewer folks are settling for it straight — since we last checked, heterosexual sex is down from 97 to 93 percent. Experimentation, on the other hand, is rampant. Homosexuals gained 5 percentage points. Anal sex picked up 11. Bestiality is on the rise. And reports of group sex have tripled. What's up, people? Of course, many of you are taking matters into your own hands. Fifty percent have masturbated while driving. An intriguing 5 percent find something arousing about Seven Days. That amounts to 16 people. The very number of employees here on staff. Hmmm... On that note, sexual "harassment" appears to be alive and well in the workplace — 25 percent of you have done a boss or employee. Ditto in the area of academic pursuits — we counted 48 teacher's pets.

Some of you have the misfortune to work with — or for — jerks, but are you surprised to know that 49 percent of our respondents jerk off at work? Dunno why we were so fascinated with this phenomenon, but here's a close look at who, exactly, is spending too much time in the employee bathroom. And, by the way, nine of those who masturbate on the clock, so to speak, sometimes fantasize about George and/or Laura Bush (see below). Food for thought. ~ , f

93% heterosexual sex 38% homosexual sex 98% oral sex 68% anal sex 24% anonymous sex 34% group sex 18% BDSM (bondage, discipline, sado-masoschism) 4% bestiality 57% phone sex 31% posed for dirty pictures 15% videotaped themselves and a partner having sex 2% videotaped others having sex 75% one-night stand 52% used dildos 50% masturbated while driving 5% masturbated while reading Seven Days 1 % changed gender 25% had sex with a boss or employee 15% had sex with a teacher 28% "pity fucked" someone they felt sorry for 9% had sex with a prostitute 5% posted nude pictures of self on the Internet 3% worked in the sex industry 10% had sex with someone 20 years younger 18% had sex with someone 20 years older

I masturbate at least times per... Vermonters are renowned for their flinty independence — some more than others, of course. But answers to this question confirmed once and for all what a selfreliant bunch we really are: More people report masturbating than going to the trouble of finding a partner. O solo mio. Again, we'll start with the extremes. We were intrigued with the guy who accounted for "81 times per month" until we did the math: that's just under three times per day, and we've got two other males and three females who 'fessed up to more than that. The busiest hands by far belong to a 22-year-old bisexual woman who fits in a dirty dozen sessions per day! (Sometimes, we blush to note, while reading Seven Days.) And no, she's not the same nympho who fits in someone else 22 times a week. We'd love a peek at both their diaries, though. In all, 40 men and 18 women in our sample get in touch with themselves at least once a day — a standard some of us only dream of attaining (see "think about sex," above). On the other end of the self-help spectrum, one disciplined guy gives in only twice a year, while 11 women report six or fewer times per year. Around 60 percent answered in terms of handjobs per week — but less than once a day. In this group, roughly two-thirds of the men and the women masturbate one to three times a week. Time for the hairy-palm theorists to update their definition of "normal."

^page 42a SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2002

votes, a neighbor's porch may be the next best thing to your parents' bed. "Dog house" made us want to sniff it out. Household appliances also appear to have some aphrodisiacal appeal. Doing it on the fridge, washing machine or sink is apparently no chore for some of you. - -' 89% in a car ' ^' 32% in a boat 7 % in an airplane 82% in a tub ' 42% in your parents' bed 2% in a therapists office 11% in a church 16% in a classroom 4% on the Stowe gondola 85% in the woods ' 29% at work ' ; 2% la the Red Square bathroom 32% in a foreign country with a foreigner 4% in a hotel room with a rock star

63%

35%

Het 45%

Homo 59%

Bi 54%

Rep. 47%

Dem. 47%

Prog. 56%

O/I 47.5%

I have had sexual fantasies about George or Laura Bush... Oddly the same percentage of people who masturbate with Seven Days confess to racy thoughts regarding the leader of the free world and his lovely wife. But in this case they're men. Even stranger, nearly twice as many of the, uh, Bush fantasizers are among the group that masturbates at work! What does this mean? Absolutely nothing, but it sure is fun to play with statistics!

vv' In general, I change positions while having sex..

Gee, our respondents are not quite as restless as one might expect Nearly 43 percent are perfectly content to stay put, and the same amount try different angles two |§to five times per session. Nearly 15 percent, though, manage half a dozen or more variations on the theme llllf— probably the ones who've been taking all those yoga III classes around here. Those proportions are roughly the | | same across sexual orientation and political persuasion, except that somewhat more Progs — 18.5 percent — | | fall in the most active group.

J!1

S o far, I have had sex with people... ^ ?M •

In general, the length of my lovemaking session!

Only seven true-blue types in our sample have confiriecl , * themselves to a single lover — and all but one of them are under 30. Most of our respondents, though, would We're happy to report that the great majority of you have to say yes to the famous Jimi Hendrix question, lovers out there devotes a good 30 to 60 minutes to the "Are you experienced?" act — especially partnered/married couples, even those Our eyebrows were raised by the 13 men, seven with children. A speedy 3 percent, both hetero and women and one hermaphrodite who each nonchalantly homo, admit to liaisons of less than one minute, and claimed more than 100 lovers. In the case of a 54-yearthough we could applaud such brisk efficiency, we do old gay man, thousands.. Only one other gay male, age recommend taking the time to at least say hello. The 42, could hold half a candle to that with 900 lovers. We independents, the happily single and the bis are more have to assume those who responded in the hundreds likely to last longer, with 10, 11 and 12 percent, respecwere rounding up, or just couldn't remember for sure. tively, spending "hours on end." Hey, time flies when But we appreciated the accountant-like precision of you're having fun. answers like "111" and "125" from a few people who are clearly keeping score. One of the busy bees is a certain 22-year-old heteroWhen I have sex I sexual female, but the majority of our most accomplished group is well over 40. One former soldier added am mostly thinking an enlightening explanation for his estimated 300-400 about my/my partner's lovers: Thailand. More than 90 percent of you reported having carnal pleasure... knowledge of more than one but fewer than 100 lovers so far. To break down that vast middle ground: So much for wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am. While just 23 percent of our male respondents admitted they think # Lovers more about their own pleasure when having sex, 41 2-4 percent of women do. A profile of the most considerate 9.6% 9.3% 5-20 42.6% 60.2% lover? A het or homo male, partnered Republican. The 21-50 28.6% least? A bisexual, Progressive, single female. 20.5% 51-100 6.9% A closer look reveals that 5 percent of the 2.5% Republicans manage to concentrate on themselves and their partners simultaneously. Meanwhile, 9 percent of both Dems and Progs, and 4 percent of independents, I have had sex in... are apparently thinking of neither while making love. Maybe they're fantasizing about Republicans? Let's hear it for vroom service. Among Vermont's hot and not-so-hot spots, the "car" takes first place. And we're including "hearse" in that category. In keeping » PAGE 30A with its rural image, "the woods" are also a popular fornication destination — with the "tub" coming in a close third. Thirteen hearty souls went for it on the Stowe gondola. The Jay Peak Tram also got a write-in vote. Not surprisingly, the "other" prompt on this question turned up some of the wackiest scenarios. Cemeteries, libraries and beaches scored high. As did public bathrooms, hammocks and parking garages. With three

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DAYS

page 2 9 a

THE SEVEN DAYS SEX SURVEY (CONTINUED FROIV! PAGE 2 8 A )

I u s e pornography... Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised that nearly two-thirds of our total respondents like to watch... dirty movies, Internet sites, etc. And that's regardless of political persuasion. However, we should note that while the numbers look roughly the same for men, women's use of pornography has climbed 16 percent from two years ago! But a picture is worth a thousand words, so we'll just shut our gaping traps and let this chart tell the rest.

86%

47%

Het 65%

Homo 67%

Bi 70%

Rep. 79%

Dem. 61%

Prog. 69%

O/I 66%

S The sex or prop I use most frequently is... Judging from the adjectives people attach to their vibrators and dildos, sex toys win a certain amount of affection. Nothing more user-friendly than a "cute little clit stimulator." Women in particular went into rapturous detail about their double-ended dildos, hot pink vibrators and pinwheel blindfolds. Ladies also manage to work in rolling dice, clothespins, fruit, vegetables — even a smooth piece of driftwood from the Pacific. Ouch. The swing sounds like fun, though, with or without the Catholic school uniform. Guys are not nearly as imaginative when listing their favorite objets erotique. "Vibrator on wife." "Girlfriend's panties." "Ice cream and teaspoon." "Penthouse letters." "My mouth and a sick mind." Cock rings are cool, but not to the exclusion of stuffed animals and favorite blankets. Whips and chains? Not too many — unless

an "elk flogger" hurts as much as it sounds like it might. Straightlaced Vermonters tend to reach instead for candles, videos, lube, lingerie and, occasionally, Seven Days.

I worry that m y penis isn't big enough... is Though much ink — and many a Web site scam devoted to enlargening the almighty male member, only: 34 percent of our respondents is concerned with size. We have to wonder, though, about the two women who reported their willies were too wee. Maybe they misun- I derstood the question? Three out of four of our "others" are dissatisfied as well. Of those men who do worry, 76 percent are straight, 12 percent gay. Nearly a third of Democrats wish their lovesticks were larger, compared to 12 percent of Republicans, 24 percent of Progs and 28 percent of the independents. But let's move on to the assessment from the receiving end...

* My partner's penis isn't big enough... A measly 15.6 percent overall groused that their lover's thingie doesn't measure up. However, about 36 percent of rhem are male, 61 percent female. That means both straight and gay guys still have to wonder...

:iSSSli

WM Slllli ;

se: in on a tr three-way with a leather man in Grand Forks, North Dakota • on the 50-yard line of a football field • group sex with two Latino men • having a girl go underwater in a hot tub to give me head • role-playing in a schoolgirl outfit • sex with a Yugoslavian guy on a train in Europe • fucking my future ex-husband in the cemetery • a totally raw fuck with an ex • Italians! • nine-to-five sex the entire month of June • When a partner said, "Fuck me until I die, and then keep h • When my wife and I were sex guys for the afternoon • Sex on a 747 • three different women on one train ride • having sexpassenger seat of my • my ex prete; • a blow job behind an unoccupied gate desk at O'Hare Aire • fucking while driving in a blizz • a brief affair with noted sex author Jay Wiseman — he gave me my fir • in poo! with a ffi her both • on my boyfriend's desk at work after hours, one room away from my family reunion

-— l i f e ^page 42a

SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2 0 0 2

Lissen up, people: STDs are rampant and AIDS is still very much with us. So why aren't more of you having safe sex all the time? Though only one of our respondents — a straight male — declared himself HIV-positive, many of the rest are flirting with danger. More so, in fact, than when we asked two years ago. At least the men and the women basically agree on this one...

Always Sometimes Never

48.6% 43.7% 7%

46.9% 47.5% 5.5%

Always Sometimes Never

Het 48.2% 45.4% 5.9%

Homo 51.3% 42.1% 7.9%

Bi 36.7% 57.1% 6%

Always Sometimes Never

Rep. 35.3% 52.9% 11.7%

Dem. 52.3% 41.3% 6.4%

Prog. 49% 47.3% 3.6%

O/I 43.7% 49.6% 5.9%

I plan to keep my sex life interesting after • marriage by... People basically can be divided into two camps: the married and the unmarried. O r at least that's what we did for this question, ignoring the gray area of the cur| | rently divorced, multiply married, living together, etc. J | | O n e thing remains constant from last time we asked: A lot of unmarried folks think the way to keep sex interesting is to not ever get married. Jeez, what a bunch of

Ex marks the spot, eh? It's amazing how many former spouses show up in these steamy scenarios. But breaking the rules is part of the excitement, whether you're doing your wife's sister or your boyfriends roommate. Thanks for sharing all the ins and outs of your exploits — many of which spilled over onto attached sheets of paper. It's nice to know the definition of "memorable" includes everything from "kissing my first girlfriend" d foursome with a chef, a Swedish millionaire and a Hawaiian stripper. Just lie back and enjoy this... • • • •

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fucking under the sidewalk in downtown Burlington Paris standing sex in a changing room at The Gap in a ; n sex in the snow road head — almost fucking killed us a week as the servant of two masters a night with my wife and her sister having my balls tied up in knots a fou rso me with a chef I was dating, a Swed ish millionaire an; getting it on in the UV e last night of Is re my boyfriend was extradicted to another state the third time I was raped inside a Grateful Dead show fast and furtive on the kitchen table make-up sex with the man I love in a boat using a dildo down Williston Road while my man drove my wife giving me a pair of her friend's wet panties to smell while she pleases me on iV with a boxer — not shorts or a dog. A perfect

having sex on the altar of an abandoned church in Maine on the bow of my Latin lover's fishing boat two women on my 40th Birthday getting spanked on the roof of my apartment

cynics. That said, the majority of responses from either side of the altar proves the adage, "variety is the spice of life." Pre- or post-vows, many of you believe that boning up, as it were, on the Kama Sutra is the solution to sexual ennui. Thrill seekers suggested sex in varied or "dangerous" places — i.e., potentially getting caught with your pants down — fantasizing and role-playing. And for many of you, variety was measured in different partners — which our survey results indicate is not just theoretical. Talking dirty and using sex toys does the trick for some married couples, while bringing in a third party — and we don't mean a consultant — came up somewhat more often with the unmarrieds. Only a handful admits to the harsher pleasures of S&M, and we're intrigued with the one who suggested "whips, chains, cherries, Pleather." All of you are secretly hoping to read here what will make your loved one's heart grow fonder other than absence, right? So with true community spirit we offer up these particularly colorful suggestions: • Surprising partner with suddenly appearing naked, then disappearing, then appearing fully dressed • Role-playing and meeting my wife in bars • Jello/frosting/pudding • Going to the zoo • Having wife dress in Wonder Woman costume • Coaxing my wife to use a strap-on • Bangin jugs • Thinking about other people and saying it out loud (this turns on my wife) • More anal and oral sex, especially with clear plastic, olive oil and hot candle wax • Taking on multiple/different personalities • Never wearing grannie panties • Titillating my partner's sizzling tea bags »

PAGE 32A

::•:•;:•: 'MM

PENNY CLUSE £ AT NIGHT

What d o you call y o u r sex Ever find yourself at a loss for words in mid-act? The words "vagina" and "penis" sound perfectly correct in the doctor's office, but whispered in your ear in the heat of passion... nah. The following synonyms are up for grabs. And we've noticed a couple of gender trends. Guys seem to have more.monikers for their member — perhaps because they spend more time thinking about it? Proper names are popular and, of course, so are macho terms like gun, rod, spike, club, hammer, rocket and patriot missile. One exception: a man who calls his dick "dead." Under "zip code" this 67-yearold heterosexual "partnered and miserable" guy wrote "no zip left." Women tend to be more descriptive and poetic. We like "hot box" and "wet cove" and "playground." Also "fuzz cutlet." n a m e s for penis cock, the reaper, Dick, the grand wazoo, dong, my junk, my own, schlong, willy, this guy, king cock, weiner, chubby, Mr. Schlong, Morgan, Moby, wang, piggly wiggly, Charlie, my throbbing member, Henry, Waldo, Harry and the Hendersons, little fella, love monkey, peener, something special, Mr. Johnson, Hank, E.T. - extremely talented, Fred, underused, pecker, Mr. Bigglesworth, wanker, tool, shank, snake, weapon, rocket, rod, gun, spike, bone, meat, club, wood, hammer, monkey, hog, turnip, dead, friend and foe, one-eyed pirate, Mr. Peepers, Princess Diana, patriot missile, Marmaduke, lonely, my dinky, Spanky, Sweet William, Cherry Garcia, pickel, Lingham, main vein, Buford, The Queen Mum or, not erect, the Princess, Roger, Quiggly Down Under, Peter

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SEVEN DAYS

page 31a

True

Confessions

THE SEVEN DAYS SEX SURVEY

This year

(CONTINUED FROM PAGE 3QA)

give your valentine what they really want...

|f you had to choose... One of our respondents suggested that, in our next survey, we ask which orifice people prefer to put/get it in. Actually, we did this time. And given the predominance of heteros, we're not surprised that the vagina came out on top, so to speak. But here's a look at the hole picture:

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v" Describe your favorite sexual position... As in our two previous surveys, the position called "doggie" was, paws down, the single most popular response among men — and even more so among women. Especially if we throw in the "spooning" and other "from behind" variations. So much for eye contact. On the other hand, the gals like to have it both ways: Seven times more women than men also dig "missionary" and other means of facing their partners. Similarly, more than twi. x as many women said they prefer "woman on top." Yeehah! Not too many of either gender voted for the egalitarian oral fixation known as "69," but we were mightily impressed with the guy who likes it standing up — or rather, with the partner who must be... what? Suspended from the ceilingAlso in the athletic category was "girl on bottom with legs pulled up and resting on man s ^orearms who is in push-up position." We wish wed received diagrams along with: "her on her side, me over lower leg and "burning ears with the knees." Come again? One respondent taunted us with the exotic "Native American (secret)," another with "#413B." But we got off on the good vibrations of "on a bass amp and rocking slowly " »

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Henry Kissinger once said power was the greatest aphrodisiac. But that doesn't explain why so many people left this question blank — 125 people offered "no comment" when asked to imagine an inappropriate relationship with a Vermont senator, congressman, city councilor or other politician. At least one cynical citizen offered the standard retort, "They all screw enough people as it is." Not surprisingly, Jim Jeffords is more desirable than he was two years ago, up from one vote to four. Hey, switching positions keeps things interesting, right? But Bernie Sanders still beat him out with 10 "supporters," two of whom are 21-year-old males. Peter Clavelle, Dave Zuckerman, Liz Ready, Doug Racine, Madeleine Kunin and Kathy Voyer performed well. And although she no longer technically qualifies as a "politician" — nor does "The Logger," folks — Ruth Dwyer is still riling them up. Let's just say if she and Love Doctor Dean had run on sex appeal, the gubernatorial contest would have been much closer.

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SEVEN DAYS

page 31a

True THE SEVEN DAYS SEX

sions

(CONTINUED FROM PAGE 32A}

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Then thefre was the cozy domesticity of "sitting in rocking chairs" and "standing up while making out in the kitchen." We might have to agree with the 11 men and three women who voraciously said, "all of them."

I have the best lucking meeting people... Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Notice "in the bushes below my bedroom window" is not an option here. That's not to say hooking up in Vermont doesn't require a certain amount of acrobatics. Three people listed "yoga" for its pick-up potential. Sports, 12-step programs and rest areas also got a few votes. Hands down, though, "friends" are the single best source for hot prospects. And work lends itself to romantic collaboration more than bars and clubs. We were relieved to learn that the "personals" beat "dark alleys" and "church" by a few percentage points. And don't underestimate the sex appeal of the supermarket. The "check-out" line at the Price Chopper is not just for groceries.

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24% in bars and clubs 35% through my work 53% through friends 5% through the personals 2% through a singles or dating organization 7% on Church Street in Burlington 6% at the health club 6% at the supermarket 4% at church 3% at the mall 15% in class 9% on the Internet % 4 % in dark alleys

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My or my partner's choice of contraception is... Not much has changed in the high-stakes world of contraception — except condom users have increased from 29 to 39 percent since we last asked. Does that suggest that you are all 10 percent smarter? Not exactly. Sixteen percent of you are still pulling out — up from 6 percent two years ago. And 11 percent are leaving it up to the gods. We're also a little worried about the horny horticulturalist promoting "wild carrot seed" for protection."Babysitting" also brought up some questions. Oh, and thanks for the handy reminder: "Dykes don't need it." 29% birth control pills 39% condoms 5% diaphragm 16% pulling out 9% vasectomy 11 % none

I have suffered from... Sex has its shortcomings. Nothing too serious, though. "Blue balls" and "boners" appear to be the biggest problems for boys. Oddly enough, the same number of Vermonters who suffers from herpes also suffers from "nymphomania." Coincidence? 17% 30% 10% 13% 15% 19% 17% ^page 42a

SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2002

The best thing about sex is... O . . . kay, no beating around the bush here: The best thing about sex is the orgasm. Most of our readers listed "getting off" as a goal. "Intimacy" came in a close second, followed by "feels great." Can't argue with that. But we feel compelled to point out an alarming auto-amorous trend. A mere six people groove first and foremost on "getting the other person off." One narcissistic soul filled in the blank with "me." A loving loner? Lots of people appear to be using the act as a way to relax. Damn, what a bunch of busy beavers...

The worst thing about sex is... "Messing around" says it all. Most everyone agrees the worst thing about sex is mopping up after. And, of course, the fact that "after" comes so soon — 19 people lamented "the end." Sixteen sore losers suggested it's "never enough." Those who find time to fit it in have to contend with rope burns, soreness, disease and pregnancy. We weren't sure if "having kids" was a reference to birth control or whether the actual offspring got in the way. "When cats watch" is another irritant. Or possible pussy projection? But we're more concerned about a 30-year-old homosexual man who complains the worst thing about sex is "putting up with someone else." So far, he's had that problem with 225 lucky fellas. Maybe it's time to switch to inflatables. (7)

If you could have

Call Tim or Marie Anne.

it's M M i G t q s

11 % acute embarrassment about sex 36% boners at work or in class

herpes blue balls frigidity impotence premature ejaculation nocturnal emissions nymphomania

Vermont celebrity, it be? Nothing Rusty about that Logger fella. Thirty-five people are imagining the strapping star of his own one-man show in various sex "ax." That's up five votes from last time, and twice what Howard Dean gard — unls .-. emotion campaign. Media coverage — and preferably a pin-up calendar — makes any character more compelling. O n e reader wants to have sex with "arty guy from Maple Corner/' A 49-yea.r-oId hetero male will go on the Vermont Expos/' Phish is also still fresh in the dirty minds of Vermont fans. Someone else feels special about the wait staff at Sweetwaters. vs a turn on, whether the reporter is Roger Garrity, Sera Congi, Stephanie Gorin or Caroline Adams. Weather folks, in particular, seem to generate warm fronts and grunts. Sharon Meyer is still a hottie. Tom Messner might wipe that grin of? his face if he knew a 25-year-old bisexual female on it.

A few more hot Alison Bechdel, Alice Austin from Zola Turn, Yolanda, Jay Craven, Darren Perron. Greg Douglass, Miss Vermont, Tammy Fletcher, Fred Tuttle, James Harvey, Katharine Quinn, Julia Alvarez, Galway Kinnell, Peg Tassey, Ben & Jerry— together, Champ, Alan Yandow, Beth Robinson, , Pascal Spengemann, Matt Grasso, The Hot Dog Lady, Teresa Lorenzo, Desiree Johnson.

L /

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Inside Track continued from page 5a

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been raising money over the phone in Vermont. And Kerry will be able to roll over his campaign surplus into his run for the White House. As for travels, the Guv's official "Weekly Public Appearance Schedule" was blank for this Wednesday. So was the schedule of out-of-state trips posted on his PAC's Web site. So yours truly was surprised to read in Monday morning's "Political Note" on the ABC network's Web site that our beloved governor will be campaigning Wednesday for a New Hampshire Executive Council candidate. Sneaky Dean strikes again? We contacted Dean's distinguished political lieutenant, Kate O'Connor, on Monday. What's up Kate? Ms. O'Connor promptly emailed back Dean's full Wednesday travel schedule. She explained the trip hadn't been posted "because we just received the details today." Ho-Ho will visit a senior center in Manchester, tour a construction site in Londonderry, a reception at a Manchester lawfirmand a house party that evening. Ostensibly, our favorite presidential hopeful will be doing all this on behalf of the candidacy of someone named John Kacavas. Hey, have a nice day, Guv! Dr. Dean also got a mention in a New York Times story Monday on North Carolina Sen. John Edwards' weekend in New Hampshire. (Edwards is the "cute" one.)

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SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2 0 0 2

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Church & State Update — Vermont's gift from Bob Jones University is once again on the attack in his crusade to impose the laws of his God on all Vermonters. Y'all goin' to hell! Rev. David Stertzbach, pastor of Williston's Bible-belting Trinity Baptist Church, is on the warpath with a fresh fundraising letter trashing, of all people, Republican House Speaker Walter Freed! Hey, buddy, Walt's our favorite Dorset petroleum millionaire. Back off! The mullah's pitch for moolah comes under the letterhead of the "Vermont Defense of Marriage Committee." It's all fire and brimstone aimed at poor "spineless" Walter Freed. The fundamentalist political leader of Chittenden County's Religious Right wants an immediate repeal of civil unions. Nothing less. It's God's will, fer crissakes! "The bad news," writes Stertzbach, "is that it is going to be an uphill fight because of House Speaker Walter Freed. Count on Speaker Freed to use all his powers of leadership to pressure Senate Republicans to join his sellout to the radical homosexual lobby." The leader of the local Taliban also whacks House Judiciary Chair Peg Flory for slipping through a "political gimmick" last year in the form of "reciprocal partnerships." (Wally even broke a tie vote to ram it through.) The fact is, Princess Peg's reciprocal partners bill was dead on arrival in the Senate.

With his own words, Stertzbach proves his extremism. His gospel is brimming with bigotry, hate and greed. "Love," to Stertzbach, is just a four-letter word. His last page is a petition addressed to himself that begins: "I want to stand with you to fight against 'hate crime' laws or any laws that normalize homosexuality or promote the punishment of those who view homosexuality as a sin." Folks, this stuff is pure hate mail worthy of the Taliban. Just imagine a Stertzbach administration running Vermont? He's trying. Not only did the preacher of bigotry take out Republican State Sen. Peter Brownell in the primary, he also denied Skip Vallee a seat at the senate table. Gasoline Vallee is Vermont's Republican National Committeeman and was George W. Bush's Vermont finance chair. Asked to comment on the fundamentalist leader's attack on the Freedmeister, Vallee told Seven Days, "The Vermont Republican Party, I believe, is the party of Aiken, Stafford and Snelling. I'm not going to let the Rev. Stertzbach take that away." We'll see. P.S. Did you catch the arrest this week of the scripture-quoting fundamentalist preacher in eastern Vermont? Like Stertzbach, Rev. Joe Rinaldi condemned civil unions. Following a six-month state police investigation, Pastor Rinaldi of the Newbury Bible Church was charged with five counts of lewd and lascivious conduct with a child. He was also the principal of the Newbury Christian School. God's will, eh? Tip Of the Week — For everything you want to know about the current Champion lands controversy check out www.vtce.org — that's Vermonters for a Clean Environment. Click the "What's New" box. All the relevant Champion documents and much, much more. You be the judge. Thank you, Annette Smith. Quote of the Week — Sen. Jim Jeffords was pushing an extension of the American school year before the National Press Club Friday. He noted there are powerful opponents. Asked who they were, Jeezum Jim named the Chamber of Commerce. "That's where their slave labor comes from during the summer," said the Independent Vermonter. C'mon Jeezum, don't hold back. Say what you really think. Media Notes — Not much room left to review Ruth Dwyer's debut on WVNY-TV News last week. Perhaps the less said the better. Isn't there anyone out there with something positive to say about her performance? If you missed the first two parts, the scripts are on WVNY's brand new Web site: www.abc22.com. We'll deal with it next week. ®

V E R M O N T

STATEHOUSB

GOVERNOR DEAN'S PLAN TO GUT OUR CLEAN ELECTIONS LAW WILL LET THE FAT CATS BACK INTO THE STATE HOUSE. ^ V E R M O N T

S T A r g B O U S & _ J

FAT m

. -

W/)N7a> • J 1

THE CHOICE IS UP TO THE VERMONT SENATE. LET THE FAT CATS IN, OR KICK THEM OUT. Governor Dean has proposed to remove 99% of the funding from Vermont's landmark campaign finance reform law. This law allows qualifying candidates for Governor or Lieutenant Governor to run using only public money — freeing them from having to raise money from special interests and wealthy corporate donors and giving them more time to meet with ordinary Vermont voters. The Vermont Senate is now considering this legislation to remove the money from our Campaign Finance Fund. To keep our elections clean, and public financing available to all candidates, we call on the Senate to keep the entire $1.3 million in the Campaign Finance Fund. Call VPIRG at 223-8420 to learn where your Senator stands on protecting the Campaign Finance Fund. For more information about campaign finance reform go to www.vpirg.org

Sponsored by VPIRG, Greeri Mountain Chapter Older Women's League, and Vermont Common Cause.

E-mail Peter at Inside Track VT@aol. com february 6, 2 0 0 2

SEVEN DAYS

page

sOUnd AdviCe WEDNESDAY

IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. TRYSTERO (groove'-rock), Valencia, 10 p.m. NC. RANDY CROSBY, JOHN CREECH & WILL PATTON (jazz/swing), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), Ri RS Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. WALT ELMORE & ALL THAT JAZZ, Daily Planet, 7 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. EXCLAMATE! (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. REGGAE NIGHT (Itation Sound, Full Spectrum Sound), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. NC/$5. 18+ before 11 p.m. OPEN MIKE W/JIMMY JAMS, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop/reggae), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ BASHMENT (reggae DJ), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. MELO GRANT (hip-hop/urban DJ), Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, SETH YACOVONE, TAMMY FLETCHER, JALAPENO BROS., NOBBY REED PROJECT, DR. JONES, BILL SCHAFER BAND, JOHN TOWER GROUP, JIM BRANCA & GUESTS (blues, soul, jam-rock; benefit for Charlie Frazier), Higher Ground,

ROCK & ROLL MODEL Fashion takes a backseat to

some mean bluesy folk, country twang and

chest-

heaving soul when model Shannon McNally goes moonlighting. Fresh from the release of her debut album, Jukebox Sparrows, McNally appears destined for limelight beyond the runway. She opens for Robert Randolph & the Family Band this Thursday at Higher Ground.

NC = NO COVER. AA = ALL AGES.

VALENCIA wed E

TRYSTERO

VALENTINE'S LIVE Latin Band

PATTI CASEY, COLIN JAMES MCCAFFREY & JIM PITMAN (folk, bluegrass, swing), Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 6 p.m. NC. SIMPLE FOLK (folk/acoustic), Radio Bean, 8:30 p.m. NC. AUGUSTA BROWN (funk-rock), Valencia, 10 p.m. NC. TURKEY BOUILLON MAFIA (grooverock), Halvorson's, 10 p.m. $3. KHRYSTINA PRYANI (folk), Liquid Lounge, 9:30 p.m. NC. ELLEN POWELL & MARK VAN GULDEN (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. SONGWRITER GROUP (folk workshop), Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. Donations. AA DRIVE-BY LESLIE (funk-jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SHELLHOUSE (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. NC. LADIES NIGHT (DJ Irie; games & prizes), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. NC/$5. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. 18+ SPEAKEASY (funky groove), Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. , REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LEON TUBBS (jazz), Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC.

thu

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comer of Pearl St.

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^page 42a SEVEN DAYS

8 p.m. $8. Non-smoking. 18+ KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. JAMIE NOTARTHOMAS (acoustic rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. LINCOLN GAP (bluegrass), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2. AA LADIES NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Matterhorn, 9 p.m. NC. HOUSE JAM, Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. KEN PEARLMAN W/JAMES STEPHENS & NATHAN CURRY (folk), Cambridge Coffee House, Dinner's Dunn, 7 p.m. Donations. AA

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- TRINITY (Irish), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. ROBERT RANDOLPH & THE FAMILY BAND, SHANNON MCNALLY (sacred steel/blues/soul; singersongwriter), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $10/12. 18+ OPEN MIKE W/T-BONE, Backstage, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/DAVID HARRISON, Sami's Harmony Pub, 8 p.m. NC. HONEY CREEPERS (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. KEN PEARLMAN W/JAMES STEPHENS & NATHAN CURRY (folk), The Music Box, 7 p.m. $6. AA OPEN MIKE, Otter Creek Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Mary's at Baldwin Creek, 8 p.m. NC. ROB WILLIAMS (singer-songwriter), Downtown Bistro, 6:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. NC.

where to go Angela's Pub, 8 6 . M a i n St., Middlebury, 3 8 8 - 6 9 3 6 . A Taste of Dixie, 8 W. Canal St., Winooski, 6 5 5 - 7 9 7 7 . Backstage Pub, 6 0 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 8 7 8 - 5 4 9 4 . Banana Winds, Town Market PI., Susie Wilson Rd., Essex Jet., 879-0752. Blue Tooth, A c c e s s Rd., Warren, 5 8 3 - 2 6 5 6 . Boonys Grille, Rt. 236, franklin, 9 3 3 - 4 5 6 9 . Borders Books & Music, 2 9 Church S t , Burlington, 8 6 5 - 2 7 1 1 . Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Pete's, 7 Fayette Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 3 - 1 1 3 8 . Cambridge Coffeehouse, Dinners Dunn Restaurant, Jeffersonville, 644-5721. Capitol Grounds, 4 5 State St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 7 8 0 0 . Charlie 0's, 7 0 M a i n St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 6 8 2 0 . Chow! Bella, 2 8 N. M a i n St., St. Albans, 5 2 4 - 1 4 0 5 . City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 8 7 7 - 6 9 1 9 . Club Metronome, 188 M a i n St., Burlington, 8 6 5 - 4 5 6 3 . Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 5 2 7 - 7 0 0 0 . Compost Art Center, 3 9 M a i n St., Hardwick, 4 7 2 - 9 6 1 3 . The Daily Planet, 15 Center St., Burlington, 8 6 2 - 9 6 4 7 . Downtown Bistro, 1 S. M a i n St., Waterbury, 2 4 4 - 5 2 2 3 . Edgewater Pub, 3 4 0 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Farr's Roadhouse, R t 2, Waterbury, 2 4 4 - 4 0 5 3 . Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 M a i n St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 5 9 6 6 . Franny O's 7 3 3 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. G Stop, 38 M a i n St., St. Albans, 5 2 4 - 7 7 7 7 . Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 0 2 7 8 . Heartwood Hollow Gallery Stage, 7 6 5 0 M a i n Rd., Hanksville, 434-5830/888-212-1142. Hector's, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 8 6 2 - 6 9 0 0 . Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 3 - 6 3 6 1 . Higher Ground, 1 M a i n St., Winooski, 6 5 4 - 8 8 8 8 .

ORGAN DONOR

J. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 M a i n S t , Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 5 2 5 2 .

Drive-By Leslie are bounty hunters of the scorching funk groove. Pouncing on the

J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main S t , Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 3 8 9 . The Kept Writer, 5 Lake S t , S t Albans, 5 2 7 - 6 2 4 2 . Kincade's, Rt. 7, Milton, 8 9 3 - 4 6 4 9 . Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 3 7 5 9 .

keys of his Hammond, front man Adam Klipple has made quite a name for himself in the downtown Manhattan

FRIDAY

Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 Park S t , Essex Jet., 8 7 8 - 3 3 0 9 . Liquid Lounge, Liquid Energy, 57 Church S t , Burlington, 860-7666.

WIZN BAR & GRILL (live radio show), Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 p.m. NC, followed by DJ SUPERSOUNDS (dance party), 9 p.m. NC. BOB GAGNON TRIO (jazz), Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC. DJ LITTLE MARTIN (techno/house), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. TOM BANJO (classic banjo), Radio Bean, 9:30 p.m. NC. SPEAKEASY (funky groove), Valencia, 10 p.m. NC. PATTY LARKIN, CATIE CURTIS (singer-songwriters; benefit for Peace & Justice Center), Unitarian Church, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $21-23. AA ANDY LUGO, LAST EXIT (acoustic rock/funk; acoustic hip-hop), Liquid Lounge, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN TIERNEY & THE TRUTH (blues), Ri Rd Irish Pub, 10 p.m. $3. GIVEN GROOVE (acoustic pop), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. CHROME COWBOYS (vintage country), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC.

avant-jazz scene. This Thursday he returns to Red Square with his band of like-minded musical hooligans.

Loretta's, 4 4 Park St., Essex Jet., 8 7 9 - 7 7 7 7 . M a d Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 4 9 6 - 2 5 6 2 . M a d River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, R t 100, Waitsfield, 4 9 6 - 8 9 1 0 . Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 M a i n St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 7 7 6 .

STUR CRAZIE (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Rasputin's, 6 p.m. NC, followed by TOP HAT DJ, 10 p.m. NC/$2. FUSION (hip-hop/reggae/dance; Djs Robbie J. & Toxic), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. LION'S DEN HI-FI SOUND SYSTEM (reggae DJs), Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. TOP HAT DJ (Top 40), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DEAD CAT BOUNCE (jazz), Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC. RIGHT IDEA (jam-rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-NaNa's, 8 p.m. $3. DICK MCCORMACK (folk), House Concert, Burlington South End, $8 (call 864-8378 to reserve).

DARK HORSE (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. BROTHERS JOHN (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. DJ RICK, A Taste of Dixie, 9 p.m. NC. JAZZ MANDOLIN PROJECT (jamgrass; Magic Hat Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $12/14. 18+ KARAOKE W/PETER BOARDMAN, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/BONNIE DRAKE, Kincade's, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Sami's Harmony Pub, 9 p.m. NC. TURNING POINT (jazz trio), Kept Writer, 7 p.m. Donations. AA DREAMWEAVER (DJ), G Stop, 9 p.m. NC. TAPESTRY (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. MR. FRENCH (rock), Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC.

LYLE KING (singer-songwriter), The Pour House, 5 p.m. NC. TOP HAT DANCE PARTY (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. JOEY LEONE W/HORN SECTION (blues), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-6. TOAST (rock), Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC. WORLD PREMIERE (dance band), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $5. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. LAST KID PICKED (rock), Farr's Roadhouse, 8 p.m. NC. PICTURE THIS (jazz), J. Morgan's, 7 p.m. NC. PASSENGER (rock), Charlie O's, 10 p.m. NC. EL MUNDO (jazz/reggae/rock), Compost Art Ctr., 9 p.m. $5. AA SPEED (rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $8-10.

Mary's at Bristol Creek, 1868 Rt. 116, Bristol, 4 5 3 - 2 4 3 2 . Matterhorn, 4 9 6 9 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 - 8 1 9 8 . Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 2 3 0 N. M a i n S t , Barre, 4 7 6 - 3 5 9 0 . Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 165 Church S t , Burlington, 660-2088. Monopole, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, N.Y., 5 1 8 - 5 6 3 - 2 2 2 2 . Muddy Waters, 184 M a i n S t , Burlington, 6 5 8 - 0 4 6 6 . M u s i c Box, 147 Creek Rd., Craftsbury Village, 5 8 6 - 7 5 3 3 . Nectar's, 188 M a i n S t , Burlington, 6 5 8 - 4 7 7 1 . Old Lantern, Greenbush Rd., Charlotte, 4 2 5 - 2 1 2 0 . 135 Pearl S t , Burlington, 8 6 3 - 2 3 4 3 . Otter Creek Tavern, 3 5 c Green S t , Vergennes, 8 7 7 - 3 6 6 7 . Parima's Jazz Room, 185 Pearl St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 7 9 1 7 . Pickle Barrel, Klllington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 - 3 0 3 5 . Radio Bean, 8 N. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 6 6 0 - 9 3 4 6 . Rasputin's, 163 Church S t , Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 3 2 4 . Red Square, 136 Church S t , Burlington, 8 5 9 - 8 9 0 9 . Rhombus, 186 College S t , Burlington, 8 6 5 - 3 1 4 4 . Ripton Community Coffee House, R t 125, 3 8 8 - 9 7 8 2 . R1 Ra the Irish Pub, 123 Church S t , Burlington, 8 6 0 - 9 4 0 1 . Rozzi's Lakeshore Tavern, 1072 West Lakeshore Dr., Colchester, 8 6 3 - 2 3 4 2 . Ruben James, 159 M a i n S t , Burlington, 8 6 4 - 0 7 4 4 . Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 - 6 2 4 5 . Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 5 6 3 7 . Sami's Harmony Pub, 2 1 6 R t 7, Milton, 8 9 3 - 7 2 6 7 . Sh-Na-Na's, 101 M a i n S t , Burlington, 8 6 5 - 2 5 9 6 . The Space, 182 Battery S t , Burlington, 8 6 5 - 4 5 5 4 . Sweetwaters, 118 Church S t , Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 8 0 0 . The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet, 8 7 8 - 1 1 0 0 . Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 6 5 5 - 9 5 4 2 . 2 4 2 Main, Burlington, 8 6 2 - 2 2 4 4 . Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S . Burlington, 862-6585.

continued on page 40a

Valencia, Pearl S t & S. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 658-8978. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 0 5 0 0 . The Village Cup, 3 0 Rt. 15, Jericho, 8 9 9 - 1 7 3 0 . The Waiting Room, 156 S t Paul St., Burlington, 8 6 2 - 3 4 5 5 . Wine Bar at Wine Works, 133 S t Paul S t , 8urlington, 9 5 1 - 9 4 6 3 .

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Ticketsi On Sale Now!

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T i c k e t s a v a i l a b l e a t : FlynnTix Regional Box Office, Burlington, VT; U V M Campus Ticket Store, Burlington, VT; Copy Ship Fax Plus, Essex Junction, VT; SoundSource, Middlebury, VT; Peacock Music, Pittsburgh, NY.

Charge by Phone 802.863.5966 Order On-Line www.flynncenter.org

Tax and applicable service charges additional. Date and time subject to change. Presented by All Points Booking and Metropolitan Entertainment Group.

february 6, 2002

SEVEN DAYS

page 39a;

about a dozen years ago. And the Mix article is "a dream come true," says Esmond. "Joe's been in the business a long time, and this is really an honor." Congrats.

B Y PAMELA POLSTON & ETHAN COVEY

DOORS 8 PM • SHOW 9 PM unless noted ALL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE I.D. unless noted WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6 • $8 SUGGESTED DONATION EARLY SHOW: DOORS 7PM • NON-SMOKING! 106.7 W I Z N & MAGIC HAT WELCOME

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C O M E EARLY FOR T H E S I L E N T AUCTION! THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 7 • $10 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW

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DEEP BANANA BLACKOUT FREELANCE BISHOPS SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 10 • $10 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW EARLY SHOW: DOORS 7PM

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WORD UP, YO Its a fresh hip-hop combination: the spoken word of Trade Morris and the backing sonic grooves of DJ Logic and his band Phonic Synthesis. The New Yorkers get their acts together in Vermont, this Saturday at the Flynn, for a show that will unite the slam poets and dance mix crowds. From Brooklyn, Mofris is known for her sassy, sultry hip-hop rhymes and rhythms, honed since the early 1990s at the legendary Nuyorican Cafe. Logic is a DJ and MC whose live performances are also earning legendary status. Burlington ain't Manhattan, but the Queen City has its own little percolating urban music scene, and Logic has already been welcomed into it. He played twice at Higher Ground last December — once for the public and once for a private Burton party. This Wednesday he's the entertainment for an invitation-only Sam Adams party at The Waiting Room. And rumor has it the master mixer will soon be exploring a studio venture with Phish keyboardist Page McConnell. Back in New York, Logic has another piscine connection: Mike Gordon. Curating one night of a month-long celebration of the Knitting Factory's 15th anniversary, DJ Logic put together an evening of "Trios," and one of them includes the Phish bassist, who recently moved to New York. He's on a roster of jazzgroove hipsters like Billy Martin, John Medeski — Logic has long been the unofficial fourth member of Medeski Martin & Wood — Christian McBride and Charlie Hunter (who returns to Vermont in April with Kenny Garrett). That's sure to create a jam, and we don't mean traffic. DJ Logic's own most recent recording is Anomaly, on Ropeadope Records. The show with Morris will surely be the word on the streets the day after. GETTING OUT THE NOTES If there's any irony in Vermont Senator Richard McCormack doing a "house" concert, it was unintentional. The 54-year-old singing senator — a Windsor County Democrat who heads up the Natural Resources and Energy Committee — entertains a more partisan crowd this Friday at the South Burlington home of longtime friend Wayne Turiansky. For some years the legislator hosted "Dick McCormack's Veranda" on Vermont Public Radio, though his live appearances this far north have been rare. But after 40 years of playing music — his first paying gig at 14 was for a Republican committee picnic — the senator brings a vast repertoire to his cozy living-room show. McCormack says he writes music with "a split personality." That is, "sarcastic lyrics in

bluesy musical settings" and "very earnest folk lyrics." Very few people like both, he surmises. But "everyone at the house concert will like at least half." A democratic compromise, indeed. When his legislative schedule allows, McCormack is recording his tremendous "catalog" of songs for a forthcoming album — or two, depending on how much he splits that material. Working titles: Songs of Love and What Passes For It, and Stone Walls. To hear live selections from both sides, call 864-7630 or e-mail culture@mac.com for reservations to this Friday's show. WHAT HO? He's been out of commission for a while, but Andrew Smith is back in Smith Transmission. That's the name of the former Chin Ho! front man's new band, which includes guitarists Matt Vachon and John McConnell, bassist Tyler Nielson and drummer Troy Pudvah. (That's Papa Pudvah now — he became a first-time father, to Benjamin, last October.) Smith describes the quintet's sound as somewhere between Chin Ho! and (sic), with more reggae/world influences. He notes that Pudvah has added electronic drums to his kit. While on semi-hiatus, Smith has been learning to play the guitar. "I suck less every day," he says with characteristic acerbity. "And I've started writing music" in addition to lyrics. "After spending a year wandering around, I thought, what else am I going to do?'" After an acoustic appearance Friday night on The Point, Smith Transmission will debut Saturday at (sic)'s former stomping grounds, the Mad Mountain Tavern in Waitsfield. With three sets to fill up, Smith promises about half new originals, a few songs from the old units, and some inspired covers borrowed from such sources as The Clash and Irving Berlin. Now, that's fluid. FRONT AND CENTER The next best thing to seeing your face on the cover of a national magazine? Seeing your mixing console. That's the unique pleasure Joe Egan and Scott Esmond have this month, as their studio, Egan Media Productions, is the feature story in Mix magazine, the key industry mag for audio recording. The article is part profile, part sonic gear-speak, and can also be found at www.mixonline.com. At EMP, Esmond handles the video post-production, while Egan does the audio recording — for bands and commercial clients — with assistant Aaron Flinn. The Fort Ethan Allen studio, which just opened last June, is a long way from the cramped quarters behind the Big & Tall Shop on Shelburne Road, where Egan got his start

A 'NOSE' FOR TUNES A motley crew of rockers were holing out at Chuck Eller Studios in Charlotte last weekend, recording the score for Vermont director John O'Brien's forthcoming film. After achieving cult fame with 1998's Man with a Plan, O'Brien went into production on his follow-up, Nosey Parker. He hopes to release it in time for fall film festivals. The final installment in his Tunbridge trilogy, Parker is the story of tensions that arise in small-town Vermont between a couple of flati lander newcomers and the local residents. Needing some tunes for the film, O'Brien contacted Mango Jam drummer (and Seven Days staffer) Michael Bradshaw, who had helped with the Man with a Plan score. Bradshaw in turn corraled Bill Mullins of The Billionaires, Mark Ransom of Chrome Cowboys and Ted Mortimer and Eugene Uman of Dr. Burma. Uman is also the founder of the Vermont Jazz School. While the music in O'Brien's previous films had a "hillbilly jazz feel," this time out he aimed for a gritty, sensual "Ryan Adamsmeets-AI Green" vibe. He simply described scenes to the players, and off they went. Their two hours-plus of "moods" will be edited down to about 30 minutes. "Music carries the film," O'Brien suggests. "It gives the audience a chance to re-calibrate between scenes." BACK IN THE GROOVE For more than six years Walt Elmore brought All That Jazz to the Sheraton every other week, but that came to an end with new hotel ownership. Now the senior trombonist has found a new outlet for his jazz-standards repertoire: The Daily Planet restaurant in Burlington. Featuring Lar Duggan on piano, stand-up bassist Rick Presson, drummer Jeff Salisbury and a changing cast of musical guests, All That Jazz will accompany the cuisine the first Wednesday of every month. That would be this Wednesday. DO GOOD DEPT. If "psychosexual cave jazz" doesn't pack 'em in, surely the fresh pies will. The first is provided by the Northeast Kingdom band Irresistible Predator, the second by the Plainfield-based Vermont Pie Girl Company, and both are on the menu this Saturday at the Plainfield Community Center, located above the co-op. That's the venue for a benefit dance to help pay the medical expenses of writer Brian Tokar. Five months ago, while on a book tour, Tokar lost his voice completely. A nonmalignant growth was discovered on his throat and recently was successfully removed. Just this week he got his voice back. And an eloquent voice it is. Tokar, who earned a Ph.D. in biophysics from Harvard in 1981, has long been an activist in peace, environmental and anti-nuke movements, and is a teacher at the Institute of Social Ecology in Plainfield. His new book, Redesigning Life?, examines the implications of biotechnology. Tokar will be at the dance Saturday to talk about, and celebrate, regaining the power of speech. Unfortunately, he's uninsured, so your donations will help offset what must be a whopper of a doctor's bill. The party kicks off at 8:30. For more info, call Alexis at 454-4662. ®

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 • $15 ADVANCE $17 DAY OF SHOW EARLY SHOW: DOORS 7PM | NON-SMOKINGI

Band name of the week: Wind Chill

104.7 THE POINT & MAGIC HAT WELCOME

THE BEARS FEAT. ADRIAN B E L E W

continued from page 39a

BILL NULLINS & DAVID KAMM THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21 • $16 ADVANCE $16 DAY OF SHOW

JOHN SCOFIELD BAND LIVING D A Y L I G H T S

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23 • $13 ADVANCE $15 DAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN & SAM ADAMS WELCOME

JOHN VALB A N A D R . DIRTY

ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT Hf&HERGfiOUNOItiySULSOM, HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE, PURE POP RECORDS, UVM CAMPUS BOOKSTORE. PEACOCKPSIC, OR CALL 800.965.4827

THE HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE IS OPEN M-F FROM 11AM SELLING TICKETS TO UPCOMING EVENTS

^page 42a

SEVEN DAYS

SATURDAY

MANIFEST NEXT0ME (trip-hop), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. SPEAKEASY (funky groove), Valencia, 10 p.m. NC. DJ LITTLE MARTIN (techno/house), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. LA PERFECTA (13-piece salsa/merengue band; Valentine's Day

february 6, 2 0 0 2

Latin Dance Party), Radisson Hotel, 9 p.m. $15. BEN R0ESCH & SIMPLE FOLK (acoustic folk/rock), Liquid Lounge, 9 p.m. NC. THE NATURALS (r&b/swing), R1 Ra Irish Pub, 10 p.m. $3. JOEL CAGE (singer-songwriter), Burington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. $8. AA MR. FRENCH (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. BARBAC0A (parade surf), Red Square, 4 p.m. NC, followed by DAVE GRIPP0 MARDI GRAS EXTRAVAGANZA (funk/ . jazz), 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

FLASHBACK ('80s Top Hat DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. CLUB MIX (hip-hop/house; DJs Irie, Robbie J. & Toxic), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. HOLLYWOOD FRANKIE (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3. MR. MURPHY & GUESTS (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. THE CROPPIES (Celtic), The Space, 8 p.m. NC. AA

STEVE BLAIR QUARTET (jazz), Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC. DARK HORSE (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. DJ JAZZY JEFF (DJ), Trackside Tavern, 6 p.m. NC, followed by BROTHERS JOHN (rock), 10 p.m. $3. DJ RICK, A Taste of Dixie, 9 p.m. NC. DEEP BANANA BLACKOUT, FREELANCE BISHOPS (funk/jam), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $15/17. 18+ ABAIR BROS, (rock), Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

continued on page 42a

rEviEwsrEviEwsrEviEwsrEv

CHAUNCEY, CHAUNCEY(Change Records, CD) — Hailing from the relatively local environs of Boston, Chauncey play heartfelt pop-rock built on big hooks and wry, self-conscious lyrics. With their new selftitled debut disc, Chauncey are looking to export their sounds beyond Massachusetts. Singer/keyboardist John Paul Powell, bassist Jon Bistline, drummer . Shawn Marquis and guitarists Eliot Hunt and Jake Zuckeman keep their hearts and their influences pinned prominently on their sleeves. Chaunceyfindsthe band melding the sweet balladry of pop granddaddies like Billy Joel with lilting melodies and crunchy alterna-rock instrumentation. British mope-rockers like Coldplay and Travis immediately come to mind, as Chauncey's songs are serene and soaring, lead by Powell's emotive falsetto. Thirty seconds of feedback crush introduce the album, before softly strummed acoustic guitar and Powell's aching tenor bring in the first proper track, "You." Like most of these tracks, this one alternates between^acoustic verses and propulsive, loud choruses. That's a potent formula for many a mediocre pop song, though; Chauncey's best songs remove themselves from this pattern. "Rent" is a punchy, neo-punk rave-up that blasts its way through two and a half minutes of distorted vocals and sing-along choruses. Next, the stark, haunting "Wish" is the band's most elegantly produced stab at midtempo, bleeding-heart Anglophilia. On the second half of the album, Chauncey seem to relax a little, substituting layered sonics for the peppy hooks of the first few tunes. "Sun" is a four-minute instrumental track led by psychedelic keyboard squalls and humming guitar. Powell wails like Radiohead's Thom Yorke on "11" over a bed of sampled voices and teeth-grinding riffs. Chauncey have created a solid debut disc that, while not particularly original, is nonetheless a catchy, easy listen that should appeal to fans of current Brit-pop and the tender side of modern-rock radio. — Ethan Covey THE JAZZ MANDOLIN PROJECT, AFTER DINNER JAMS (self-released, CD) — Last January The Jazz Mandolin Project holed up at Trey Anastasio's Barn studio in rural Vermont for a week, focusing on planned material by day and jamming at night after dinner. The results of these latter sessions provide the aptly titled release, After Dinner Jams, nine tracks that capture the carefree sound of six very talented musicians playing just for the fun of it. JMP have always been steeped in jazz and bluegrass, but the range of musical influences on these jams show the band experimenting with new sounds. Traditional jazz forms are discarded, virtuoso solos are replaced by overlapping layers of sound, and the result is a free-swinging, fearless sound. Danton Boiler kicks off the album with an exuberant bass line on "Wilbur's Soiree." When Ari Hoenig adds a dynamic drum beat, someone in the background hollers and another claps along. Jon Fishman joins the groove on piano as Jamie Masefield tears through a furious little riff on mandolin, before playing the whistle on the rest of the track. For the first half of "Attila the Hun," Masefield holds together a rhythm section full of fits and starts. The hypnotic rise and fall of his mandolin casts a spell, but around the four-minute mark the band unleashes its fury. "Rider" is another song full of flourishes that slowly builds up to a spirited romp. Even as they explore new sonic territory, the Project get back to their roots with an energetic version of the Miles Davis classic, "Milestones." Their version of "Amazing Grace" sounds like a sweet lullaby played before the band called it a night. After Dinner Jams is more than an afterthought of an album. With music that doesn't come from "regular" studio work or live performances, it is required listening for longtime fans and a diverse introduction for anyone unfamiliar with the band. Maybe they'll pull out some of the jams this Friday at Higher Ground, where they'll play for Magic Hat's Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball. —Jason King

Weekly Ski Specials SUNDAY AFTERNOON HALF DAY Only $20 PARENT'S TUESDAY LIFT & DAY CARE $40 Half Day $50 Full Day

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SEVEN DAYS

page 31a

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Church this Friday, with singer-songwriter Catie Curtis. The show benefits the Peace & Justice Center.

STRAWBERRY SYRUP

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continued from page 40a

RESERVATIONS ARE ENCOURAGED. 802.862.3455

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FULL CIRCLE (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/DAVID HARRISON, Sami's Harmony Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, G Stop, 9 p.m. NC. 18+ ACOUSTIC TRAUMA (acoustic rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. TOP HAT DANCE PARTY (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. J.P. CORMIER W/HILDA CHIASSON & JOE BUTCHER (Canadian singer-songwriter & multi-instrumentalist), After Dark Music Series, United Methodist Church, 7 p.m. $16/18. AA WORLD PREMIERE (dance band), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $5. EKIS (soul-groove), Matterhorn, 4 p.m. $2, followed by MANGO JAM (zydeco/r&b; Mardi Gras party), 9 p.m. $3-6. SMITH TRANSMISSION (pop-rock; featuring Andrew Smith, formerly of Chin Ho!), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $5. LAST KID PICKED (rock), Farr's Roadhouse, 8 p.m. NC. THE X-RAYS (rock/r&b), Blue Tooth, 9:30 p.m. $4. PATRICK FITZSIMMONS & ROB MEEHAN (singer-songwriters), Capitol Grounds, 8 p.m. NC. IRRESISTIBLE PREDATOR (psychosexual cave jazz/rock/big-band; benefit for Brian Tokar), Plainfield Community Center, 8:30 p.m. $5 donations. SPEED (rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $8-10.

SUNDAY

Local Musicians Band Together for One of Their Own 106 WIZN AND HIGHER GROUND PRESENT A BENEFIT FOR

Mr. Charlie of "Blues for Breakfast"

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 6,8PM HIGHER GROUND, WINOOSKI • $8 DONATION All proceeds go directly to the Charlie Frazier Benefit Fund featuring musicians from: The Jalapeno Brothers, Seth Yacavone Band, Liquid Dead, Tower Group and many others!

^page 42a

SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2 0 0 2

MATT HASTINGS (singer-songwriter), Radio Bean, 8:30 p.m. NC. LYLE KING (singer-songwriter), Borders, 3 p.m. NC. AA SALAD DAYS (pop), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), Ri Rd Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. DJ PATTI (hip-hop), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 8 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ JENNI JOHNSON & FRIENDS (jazz vocals), Waiting Room, 7 p.m. NC. JEFFREY GAINES, ANGIE APARO (singersongwriters), Higher Ground, 8 p.m. $10/12. Non-smoking, cabaret seating. 18+

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. INTERNATIONAL DANCE PARTY (DJ), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $2. DEEP BANANA BLACKOUT (funk/jam), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $8-10.

MONDAY

OPEN MIKE, Radio Bean, 8:30 p.m. NC. CURRENTLY NAMELESS (experimental groove), Valencia, 10 p.m. NC.

QUEEN CITY ROCK (DJs Elliott & Chia), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. NC. GRIPPO FUNK BAND, Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

TUESDAY

ANOTHER FLICK ON THE WALL (local indie films), Radio Bean, 8:30 p.m. NC. SONNY & PERLEY (international cabaret), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. Donations. AA PUB QUIZ (trivia game w/prizes), Rl R&, 8:30 p.m. NC. LINK UP (reggae; Flex DJs), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. UNISON (DJ Aqua; house/techno), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. $2/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $2/6. 18+ IAN ALEXY TRIO (jazz), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Cactus Pete's, 9 p.m. NC.

WEDNESDAY

IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. SONNY & PERLEY (international cabaret), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), R] Rh Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. US HUMANS (acoustic rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. REGGAE NIGHT (itation Sound, Full Spectrum Sound), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. NC/$5. 18+ before 11p.m. OPEN MIKE W/JIMMY JAMS, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop/reggae), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ BASHMENT (reggae DJ), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. JIM BRANCA TRIO (jump blues), Waiting Room, 10:30 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC. PROJECT/OBJECT W/IKE WILLIS & NAPOLEON MURPHY BROCK, PSYCHEDELIC BREAKFAST (music of Frank Zappa; funk-jazz, jam), Higher Ground, 8 p.m. $12/14. 18+ KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. ELECTRIC BLUE & THE KOZMIC TRUTH (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. AARON FLINN & SCOTT MACKEY (acoustic pop), Good Times Caf6, 7:30 p.m. $2. AA LADIES NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC.' OPEN MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m.*NG.*"> * * > 5 * - > « OPEN MIKE, Matterhorn, 9 p.m. NC. HOUSE JAM, Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC ®

Weekly Mail continued from page 4a statutory penalties. It has been decades since the FBI made color videos of the bribery of a senator from N e w Jersey. T h e second distinction is that sexual whores are generally treated with contempt a n d condescension. N o t so big business lobbyists. Mr. Freyne even calls them distinguished. Ugh. His kind of judgment is based on three-piece suits and three-martini lunches, n o t moral considerations. W i t h o u t exaggeration, the lobbyists enforce the will of the dictatorial plutocracy, negating one-person, one-vote a n d the very possibility of democracy itself. As a result, the Enrons write energy policy, foreign policy and economic policy; Detroit writes transportation policy; the military contractors write procurement policy; and all the polluters together write environmental policy...

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cle is written by a w o m a n a n d t h e editors of Seven Days are w o m e n , I thought at least in 2002 we'd all know enough to give Lola full credit for her accomplishment, by using her name and n o t referring to her as Robert Redford's ex.

your full name and a daytime phone

W e d n e s d a y 4~7PP2

by women and the Seven Days arti-

raves, in 250 words or less. Letters

Susan Green's article was comprehensive and insightful. I enjoyed reading a n d learning new details I hadn't known about the project's subject matter. Bravo, Susan! I also wanted to add that I was surprised that either Susan or the editors of Seven Days decided n o t to use Lola's name o n the cover b u t instead decided to refer to Lola as Robert Redford's ex. Considering t h e documentary is about w o m e n , produced

SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and

BUY l ENTREE

Free' i

— Peter D . Moss Fairfax

— Fay Lauber Champlain College Burlington

E A T

T h e third a n d most important distinction is that lobbying (unlike the innate sex drive) is an economic crime and as such can be solved by making it counter-economical. Lobbying and bribery would cease if only a few dozen bribe-givers a n d bribe-takers were fined... a n d then jailed for 15 years. It would n o t take too many if they were wellpublicized over 15 years. M a n y tax cheats still remember Al C a p o n e in Alcatraz.

T H E X FILE After having met Lola Van Wagenen a n d Shauna Redford a couple of years ago, I read with interest Susan Green's cover story ["Here She C o m e s . . . , " January 23] about Lolas documentary — the history of the Miss America pageant. I had asked Lola to speak on campus at Champlain College about her documentary two years ago when this now complete project was still in its infancy. I was delighted to learn that it has reached both PBS and the Sun-dance Film Festival.

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PICTURES OF HEALTH? Nobody

really wants to go to the hospital. But if they have to, patients and vis-

itors alike will at least find the brand-new Vermont Children's Hospital — the renovated pediatric wing of Fletcher Allen Health Care — a much prettier place to be. In addition to enhanced facilities and services, kid-friendly artwork and a 100foot mural by Sally Stetson and Sara-Lee Terratprove that sick rooms don't have to be drab. The new hospital was dedicated on Monday.

call to artists

OpENINQ RECEPTION

£ ebruary 13

4-6pm (bidding ends at 5:45) over 30 fabulous choirs painted by your favorite Vermont artists will be on display & for sale proceeds to benefit Art's Alive 16th annual festival of fine Art special thanks to our sponsors: smokejack's Restaurant, vt. paint co, slack Horse Art supply

• The Basin Harbor Club is seeking submissions from Vermont artists for its annual juried artist-in-residence program and exhibit, "Reflections on Basin Harbor." Send bio, six or more slides and info sheet, with SASE, to Basin Harbor Club, Basin Harbor Rd., Vergennes, VT 05491, or check www.basinharbor.com for info. Deadline: March 1. • Shelburne Farms is seeking artists to enter the annual "Envisioned in a Pastoral Setting" art exhibition and sale, held September 28 - October 20 in the Coach Barn. Open to artists who interpret landscapes in any medium. Info or entry form, call 985-8686. • Seven Days is seeking slides and reproductions of two-dimensional artwork for the "Front Page Gallery" — that is, the front cover of Section B. Each week, local and regional artists are exposed to Seven Days' nearly 60,000 readers. This is a non-paying, one-time "exhibit." Artists may send up to six color or black & white slides or reproductions no larger than 8 1/2" x 14". Must be vertical orientation. Do not send original work. If you want your images returned, include SASE with appropriate postage. Send to: Front Page Gallery, Seven Days, PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402. Be sure to include the title of the works and brief description, as well as your

name on each slide. No phone calls, please.

openings

MICHAEL T. JERMYN, color and blackand-white still-life and landscape photographs from the British Isles, New York and Vermont. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 223-1570. Reception February 7, 5-7 p.m. (Postponed from last Thursday.) 6TH ANNUAL CREATIVE REUSE SHOWCASE, featuring works made of recycled and found materials, by local high school students and sponsored by the Chittenden Solid Waste District. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Burlington, 872-8100, x 207. Reception February 8, 3:305:30. (Postponed from last Friday.) CHILDREN'S ART EXHIBIT, featuring students from the Shelburne Community, Renaissance and Lake Champlain Waldorf schools. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 8779942. Reception February 8, 5-7 p.m. 2ND ANNUAL RECYCLED ART CONTEST, featuring work by Addison County middle and high school students. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Middlebury, 388-4074. Reception February 8, 5:30-7:30 p.m. with student African drumming group Binkabi. LIGHTS ON! Architectural clay sculpture by Charlotte Potok. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Reception February 8, 5-7 p.m.

SELECTED WORKS from the fall 2001 Student Independent Study Projects. Francis Colburn Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-2014. Reception February 11, 5-7 p.m. CHAIR-ITY, more than 30 chairs painted by local artists to benefit the 16th annual Festival of Fine Art from Art's Alive. Smokejacks, Bur-lington, 864-1557. Silent auction bidding through 5:45 p.m., February 13. Reception February 13, 4-6 p.m.

talks & events

ARCHITECTURE LECTURE: Art historian professor Frazer Ward presents a talk about the ongoing work of Vito Acconci. Vermont College, Montpelier, 828-8500. February 6, 6:45 p.m. SUE WILLIAMS DISCUSSION: The controversial painter of sexually explicit subject matter presents a talk entitled "Progression Towards Abstraction." College Hall Chapel, Vermont College, Montpelier, 828-8500. February 8, 8 p.m. FINE ARTS DESSERT NIGHT: An evening of visual arts display and a chamber music ensemble performance features delicious desserts from area restaurants and bakeries. Frederick Tuttle Middle School, S. Burlington, 652-7000. February 8, 7-9:15 p.m. GALLERY TALK: Professor William Cook presents "My Thank-You for Music: The Jazz Artist as Hero and Icon in the Black Arts Movement," followed by a reception with a student jazz quartet. In conjunction with the

weekly I istin gs on www.sev endaysvt.com

exhibit, "Reflections in Black — Smithsonian African American Photography." Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 60^-646-2808. February 8, 7-9 p.m. A RED HOT EVENING, with artsy peep shows, "Dressed to Thrill" costume contest, multimedia show, salsa dancing and lessons, spicy food, drinks and prizes. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7069. February 9, 6-10 p.m. MEL KENDRICK: the artist discusses his work in the current sculpture exhibit, "Core Samples." Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. February 12, 4:30 p.m. 'BEYOND THE PALE: JEWISH LIFE IN POLAND PRIOR TO THE HOLOCAUST,* a lunchtime lecture by Robert Bernheim, education coordinator for the Center for Holocaust Studies at UVM, in conjunction with the exhibit, "The Landscape of Loss: Photographs by Jeff Gusky." Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. February 13, 12:15 p.m.

ongoing BURLINGTON AREA

COLLECTED WASHERS, a mixed-media installation by Ed Owre and Stephen Trull, with selected pieces from Gerrit Gollner and Allison Schlegel. One Wall Gallery, Seven Days, Burlington, 864-5684. Through February. MATTHEW THORSEN, photographs. Red Square, Burlington, 859-8909. COMMERCIAL SAILING VESSELS OF LAKE CHAMPLAIN AND SHIPWRECKS OF BURLINGTON HARBOR, a touring exhibit from the Lake Champlain Maritime Museum, featuring panels about the origin and evolution of canal boats. Chittenden Bank main office, Burlington, 475-2022, ext. 105 Through February.

JASON BOYD, mixed-media paintings of light and texture. Radio Bean, Burlington, 660-9346. Through February. SACRIFICE, mixed-media artwork by emerging artist Hannah Brooks. Church & Maple Gallery, Burlington, 863-3880. Through February 23. THE LANDSCAPE OF LOSS: PHOTOGRAPHS BY JEFF GUSKY, black-and-white works by the Texas physician, capturing the aftermath of the Holocaust in Poland. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 9. SOME GODDESSES, paintings and drawings by Michael Brown. Mira-

doWN To etKaTh

belles, Burlington, 863-4649. Through February. CLARK RUSSELL, mixed-media metal wall sculptures, 3-D constructions, paintings, prints, watercolors and sound collage by RECON. L/L Gallery, Living/Learning Center, UVM, Burlington, 656-4200. Through February 15. FULL HOUSE, photography by Jeremy Fortin and Tamara Staples, and sculpture by Gordon Auchincloss, James Teuscher and Wilder Wheelock. Flynndog Gallery, Burlington, 865-9292. Companion exhibit of photography and sculpture at SoHome in the 208 Flynn Ave. building, including above artists and Jeff Clarke, Arnold M. Gilbert, Shayne Lynn, Gerta Meyerhof, Peter Miller and H. Keith Wagner. Through February 21. MARC AWODEY, paintings, dining room; and JASON BODNER, paintings, bar. Daily Planet, Burlington, 8623779. Through February 13. PRE-COLUMBIAN ART, artifacts from tiny figurines to human and animal effigies, from the museum's permanent collection. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through July 3. HOWARD ROMERO, pan-scenic photographs. Wine Works, Burlington, 865-7166. Through February. MICHAEL BROWN, paintings, Red Square, Burlington, 862-3779. Through February 15. A NATION IN THOUGHT, works of art by 15 artists to inspire world peace and understanding of religious and cultural diversity. Art Space 150 at the Men's Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Through February. PRESENCE, paintings, prints and drawings by Linda E. Jones and Susan Osgood. Amy E. Tarrant Gallery, Flynn Center, Burlington, 652-4500. Through March 9. THE COLLECTOR'S HOUSE, a new building envisioning the home of a 21stcentury folk art collector, designed by architect Adam Kalkin and decorated by Albert Hadley. Shelburne Museum, 985-3348. Through October 2003.

CHARLES "TEENIE" HARRIS: A LEGACY IN BLACK AND WHITE, photographs by the late African-American photojournalism Also, DAVID BUMBECK: FIGURES OF THE IMAGINATION, recent sculptures, prints and drawings by the Middlebury College art professor. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 443-5007. Both through April 7.

continued on page 46a

by dvtG ffoP®

The Way We Were

Warren Family, artist unknown

BY MARC AWODEY

or Vermont's founding generation, art had little to do with artists — creativity was God's domain. Many of the earliest paintings were unattributed. But the nature of portraiture changed as Vermonters began to see themselves as more than simple frontier folk. Accordingly, a survey of portraiture on display at the Helen Day Art Center, "Faces of Vermont," visually chronicles what people saw in themselves at various periods, and provides an account of the stylistic evolution of capturing likenesses. In post-Revolutionary America, painters were basically craftsmen. While New York, Philadelphia and Boston- had a few artistic grandees such as John Trumbull and John Singleton Copley, here in the Green Mountains itinerant painters went from hamlet to hamlet painting signs, decorating furniture and doing odd jobs as well as portraits. In this exhibit, the 1846 "Warren Family," by "Artist Unknown," is a fairly late example of the "primitive" style of portraiture that has become less exotic in recent years thanks to a growing appreciation for folk art. The figures are geometric and out of proportion, and details seem flat. The Warren's daughter, Elise, flanked by her parents Lester and Alvina, looks more like a doll than a little girl. But the artist was highly skilled, with a great eye and steady hand for detail. Lace and ribbons are flawless. Mr. Warren holds a book and wears a cross stickpin in his shirt — attributes of his trade. He became a preacher in Calais shortly after the painting was commissioned. Not all the unknown artists were itinerant rubes. An excellent pair of portraits, "Parley and Rebecca Peabody Davis," from around 1820 shows a real familiarity with Copleys Boston portraiture. Parley Davis founded Montpelier, and Rebecca Davis had become a surgeon. By the time their portraits were executed for their 25th wedding anniversary, the couple could afford a high-quality portrait, perhaps even importing the painter. "Ami Young," from 1846, demonstrates how portraiture began to change around mid-century. Young was a prominent architect who moved to Burlington in the 1830s. He is pictured in a naturalistic profile

pose, befitting a man of the arts. The artist is C. Rogers, a painter with a partial name and little history of his own. Or her own — it was not unheard of for women to be portraitists around this time. Thomas Waterman Wood, namesake of Montpelier's Wood Gallery, is a wellknown artist of the era who became a mainstream portraitist of the Gilded Age after studying in Europe during the 1860s. ••'' But there is a wonderful 1855 Wood — "Daniel Pierce Thompson" — that shows what the artist's work was like before he had formal training. It is clearly less accomplished, but presents Thompson with a wilderness background typical of American sensibilities at mid-century. As European study became more accessible, many American artists steamed off to cultural centers such as Dusseldorf, London and Naples to refine their works. However, it can be argued — and this early Wood suggests — that some of the frontier vitality of earlier times was lost as European influences became more perva-

"Faces of Vermont" visually chronicles

Photography had the biggest impact on portraiture. The earliest Daguerreotypes were often as expensive as paintings, but the likeness must have seemed miraculous. By the time of the Civil War, photographic processes had improved and mass-market appeal was developing. The crayon enlargement was a curious hybrid of photography and drawing — an example in this show is of "Lieutenant Dennis Duhigg." Photographic images were small and lost detail if blown up on paper. A solution was to bring out details with litho crayon. These are the most common kind of 19th-century portraiture found in junk shops today. They have all the stiffness of early photography and none of the life of drawing and painting. By the end of the 19th century, non-photographic portraits became less intimate. Wood's 1902 "Admiral Charles Cook" presents the Navy man with binoculars in hand, sword at his side. While he was not quite the hero that fellow Vermonter Admiral George Dewey was, this painting makes him look like one. "Faces of Vermont" is in a way a hall of mirrors as well as a visual art exhibition. In this gathering of vanished Vermonters we can almost hear Alvina Warren whisper, "Now stop squirming, Elise," or Daniel Pierce Thompson say, "That's not bad, young fella," to Thomas Waterman Wood in 1855 — even though the green artist had obviously been struggling to capture his likeness. This show is about more than art or history. It's about how we saw ourselves when we were young, and the world was new. ®

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themselves at various

fieriods, and provides an account of the

capturing likenesses

"Faces of Vermont," portrait paintings from the collection of the Vermont Historical Society. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe. Through April 6. february 6;

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fundraising sitting down. But you can. "Chair-ity" is an inspired event auctioning of 30-some handpainted chairs by Vermont artists, with the proceeds benefitting the

16th annual Festival ofFine Arts in June. The reception is next Wednesday, Februa 13, at Smokejacks restaurant in Burlington — but don't wait 'til then to put in your

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THE SPIRIT OF OBJECTS, an exhibit of items from the permanent collection that show how individuals interact with the past. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through April.

CENTRAL VERMONT

VERMONT PASTEL SOCIETY, members show. La Brioche, Montpelier, 2380351. Through March 1. ALISA DW0RSKY, slides and charcoal development drawings for a roadside public art installation titled "Luminous Fields: Longitude in Time." Chandler Art Gallery, Randolph, 457-2833. Through February. RYAN MAYS: MISSOURI LIFE, woodcut art. Capitol Grounds, Montpelier, 223-7800. Through February. WILMA LOVELY, wall-hung recycled art using TV set components, wire, broken stained glass and more. Spotlight Gallery, Vermont Art Council, Montpelier, 828-5422. Through February. FUNK & FUNCTIONALITY, watering cans by George Shumar. Chaplin Hall, Norwich University Dept. of Architecture, Northfield, 229-9416. Through February 15. RED HOT: HEATED WORKS, a group show in multi-media, and EXPLORING PASTELS, featuring works by the students of Joy Huckins-Noss. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7241 Through February 23. AXEL ST0HLBERG, mixed-media landscapes and sculptures. Vermont Supreme Court lobby, Montpelier, 828-4784. Through February 8. FEATURED ARTISTS' EXHIBITION, including digital prints by Steven Goodman, paintings by Mike Mayone and Susan Raabe, pastels by Harriet Whitcomb and sculptures by Teresa Murray. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Through February 17. PHOTOGRAPHIC SCULPTURE: VERMONT ENVIRONS — SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY, an installation by Orah Moore and Tari Prinster commissioned for Morrill Hall, Vermont Technical College, Randolph Center, 828-5422. Ongoing. KENNETH P. OCHAB, new landscape oil paintings, and works by other Vermont artists Keith Davidson, Kathleen Bergeron, Gertrude Belloso and Joyce Kahn. Goldleaf Gallery, Waitsfield, 279-3824. Ongoing.

PRAYERS AND PROMISES, prints and books by Diane Fine. Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 635-1469. Through February 16. SIX GRACE ARTISTS, Rowena Burnor, Dot Kibbee, Merrill Densmore, T.J. Goodrich, Larry Bissonnette and Margo Russell, show seven pieces each. GRACE Gallery, Old Firehouse, Hardwick, 472-6857. Tuesday Thursday or by appointment through March 20. RICHARD GROSS, watercolors. Stowehof Inn & Resort, Edson Hill Rd., Stowe, 253-9722. Through March. HANDMADE BOOK EXHIBITION, featuring book works of Claire Van Vliet, Alexandra Jessup Altman and Tom Twetten. Sterling College Library, Craftsbury Common, 586-7711. Through March 9. FACES OF VERMONT, featuring portrait paintings from the collection of the Vermont Historical Society. Also, paintings by Charles Ryerson, East Gallery. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through April 6.

ELSEWHERE

MEL KENDRICK: CORE SAMPLES, sculpture by the New York artist. Also, REFLECTIONS IN BUCK — SMITHSONIAN AFRICAN AMERICAN PHOTOGRAPHY: ART AND ACTIVISM, photos chronicling the African-American experience from the 1950s through '90s. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Both through March 10. HERBERT LIST, featuring 223 prints by the German photographer (19031975), including portraits of artists, intimist scenes and photojournalism, through April 28. Also, WEARABLE SCULPTURE, featuring 60 pieces of contemporary studio jewelry from the Liliane and David M. Stewart Collection, through March 24. Montr6al Museum of Fine Arts, 514285-2000. GENERATIONS: THE ARTISTIC INFLUENCE OF AN AMERICAN MASTER, featuring works in multiple media by descendants of Adirondack artist Rockwell Kent. Burke Gallery, SUNY Plattsburgh, 518-564-2288. Through March 23. © ~ - - -.

alentine's Day is rapidly approaching, but Sarah Powell has a career that deals with the antithesis of hearts and flowers. She has been a divorce attorney in Burlington for about seven years. Now 36, the 1990 Vermont Law School graduate grew up in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Her mother's family goes back four generations in the Green Mountain State. Powell grew up in an interracial household â&#x20AC;&#x201D; she has two adopted African-American brothers. She handles contractual criminal cases assigned by Vermont's Defender General, but at least half of her practice involves marriages that are falling apart. SEVEN DAYS: What made you pursue law and, more importantly, matrimonial law? SARAH POWELL: I was always very sensitive to issues of social justice as a kid, and interested in civil rights. My parents were social workers. . . Those were the issues I was into when I first went to law school, but in Vermont it's hard to be that specialized. After 30 years of marriage, my parents began a divorce while I was a third-year student. I was intimately involved, so I did learn a lot about that at a point when I was taking family law courses. I didn't want to do corporate tax or estate law; I wanted to work with individuals. This is similar [to social justice] in a sense, because it's about people in crisis. And divorce is plentiful in Vermont.

few people in Vermont with tremendous wealth, and most of them aren't coming to me, I guess. SD: What are the biggest challenges of this job? SP: My sense of responsibility to families is awesome. It's a direct way to have a real impact: how much time they get with their children. How much money a child will have to live on. My performance in court can make all the difference. SD: Is it less horrendous when the divorcing parties aren't parents? SP: The animal of divorce is much easier without children. If you're going to get divorced, do it early in the marriage. (Laughing) I try to impart what I know about how easy it is to hurt kids. The object for me is to decrease their standard of living as little as possible. I'm amazed when people don't understand how important that is. The other day I talked to a new client who had agreed to no child support â&#x20AC;&#x201D; without ever consulting a lawyer. SD: Do you get more women than men, and is it any different representing one or the other? SP: It's about a 50-50 split. There's not much difference, even though some people assume it's easier to get money or child custody for women.

SD: Really? What are the statistics? SP: The rate of marriage in Vermont is slightly higher than the national average. My guess is that's due to non-residents coming here for their weddings. In 1999 the number of divorces granted was a little over four percent per thousand people. Nationally, that figure is roughly the same. From 1955 to 1980, our divorce rate was significantly lower than the rest of the country, but since then we've caught up.

SD: What seems to be the most common cause of divorce? SP: I get to observe what relationships are like, but, after all these years, I can't really put a ribbon around it. I think the miracle is the marriages that last. The most frequent thing I hear is about the other spouse being absent emotionally, or it's anxiety over money, or conflicting approaches to child rearing. In general, maybe the difference between people who divorce and people who don't is the level of expectations. Lots of people in lasting marriages are unhappier than the people who come to me. We all have different thresholds.

SD: You also draw up pre-nuptial agreements. Do you get many of those? That seems like such a movie-star thing. SP: I see a few every year. I think there are very

SD: Do clients come to you aiming for victory, only to find it's a question of making compromises? SP: There shouldn't be any true winner in a

divorce. There are two losers. If someone is happy about winning, that means something's wrong with the results. At least, that's what I've learned along the way. A court can't do much about ongoing animosity, or force people to treat each other in a kinder way. It's unrealistic to think there's a legal answer for 90 percent of human problems. SD: Do you ever watch any of the many dramas about lawyers now on television? SP: My clients sometimes are frustrated by the real-life pace because of the time frame they see on TV. It takes about a year to resolve a divorce case. In those shows, major developments occur within 15 minutes, and cases always get resolved in an hour. SD: Are you expected to provide a shoulder to cry on for people in pain? SP: I shy away from the emotional side. I'm not an expert, and that's an expensive way to use a lawyer. When children are involved, I can steer them to appropriate counseling. There's no legal relief for most of what they're going through. SD: Do clients who divorce ever get back together? SP: It's not uncommon to start a divorce proceeding and then reconcile. I find those situations are usually temporary, though. We do have our Senator Jeffords, however. He divorced and then remarried the same woman. SD: Are you married? SP: Never even been close. Perhaps I'm seeing too many divorces to get married myself. I like to think a bad marriage is one of the few mistakes I've never made. SD: Do you believe in the fairytale of "happily ever after?" SP: I would love to, but I am kind of cynical. I often tell clients to call me before they think about marrying again. What can I say that's positive? How about "hope springs eternal?" â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Susan Green

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SOVIET UNION Kidman plays a Russian mail order bride her hubby-to-be winds up wishing he could return. BIRTHDAY GIRL***172 Now, this is how you put together a spiffy, smarter-than-average, winningly offbeat little film. Instead of drawing on Hollywood formula and cranking out stuff by committee, locate a hip, talented young playwright — someone capable of generating an original idea — hand him a camera and a bagful of cash, then get out of the way. It worked like a charm in the case of Birthday Girl. Written and directed by hip, talented young British playwright Jez Butterworth, the film is an endearingly kooky fusion of Romeo and Juliet and Pulp Fiction — full of wit, fine writing and surprises. Of course, having Nicole Kidman on board can't hurt. The actress continues the roll she's been on with The Others and Moulin Rouge (actually, she made this movie before the other two). This time around she gives a slinky, sly performance as a Russian babe who changes Ben (The Truth About Cats and Dogs) Chaplin's life in ways he could never have expected when she arrives special delivery from a mail-order bride service. The idea is, Chaplin's a mild-mannered bank clerk living in the suburbs of London. He realizes the notion of acquiring a wife over the Internet is as pathetic as it is fraught with potential problems, but convinces himself he's really performing an act of courage, taking the most adventurous leap of his drab life. He picks up Kidman at the airport and discovers during the ride home that she doesn't speak any English. Chaplin immediately tries to contact the company to report the glitch, but is unable to get through to a real person for days. The fellow's consumer dissatisfaction is lessened considerably in the course of those days, as Kidman's Nadia treats him to a smorgasbord of kinky pleasures. Bondage leads to a degree of bonding, and the couple appears on the verge of living happily ever after when all hell breaks loose. No sooner does Nadia tell her hubby-to-be that it's her birthday than a knock at the door is followed by the exuberant, borderline manic entrance of two Russian men. One speaks some English and identifies himself to his host as an old friend. The other is a hyper, vaguely menacing hulk who supposedly has never met Nadia, but makes all kinds of meaningful eye contact from the moment he arrives in Chaplin's home. What ensues is a series of nicely crafted scenes reminiscent of Straw Dogs, throughout which awkwardness gives way to apprehension and tensions escalate to an eruption of savage violence. One of the most delectable things about Butterworth's film is the way it can simultaneously suggest something is about to happen and totally take the viewer by surprise when it does. By the time the young clerk's world is yanked inside out and upside down — he finds himself robbing his own bank, a truly hilarious scene — the viewer knows Nadia is not what she seems. Yet each time we think we have the character and her motives pinned down, another dimension emerges, and Butterworth has us rooting for the improbable pair to make a love connection anyway. Even if Chaplin has been gagged and tied to a motel toilet by the Russian con artists. The final act is a delicious mix of dark romantic comedy, heist caper and revenge-fest. The young director blends the genres to exhilarating effect and, aided by a first-rate cast, keeps things fun, fresh and fast-moving right up to the final frame. On the basis of Birthday Girl, I think film lovers should make a wish: that studios continue to hand Butterworth big bagfuls of cash. (Z)

previews

BIG FAT LIAR "Malcolm in the Middle"'s Frankie Muniz hits the big screen in this comedy about a kid whose class paper is stolen by a Hollywood producer and turned into a blockbuster. Paul Giamatti costars and Shawn Levy directs. (PG) COLLATERAL DAMAGE The latest from Andrew Davis reverses the formula used in the director's best-known film, The Fugitive. This time his hero hunts down the terrorist responsible for the bombing that claimed the lives of his wife and child. Arnold Schwarzenegger stars. (R) THE ENDURANCE Liam Neeson narrates the dramatic story of British explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton and his two-year ordeal on the Atlantic. (G) LANTANA Geoffrey Rush, Barbara Hershey and Anthony LaPaglia are teamed in the latest from Australian director Ray Lawrence. The mystery interweaves the story of a woman's disappearance with accounts of four rocky marriages. (R) ROLLERBALL Chris Klein stars in this remake of the 1975 sci-fi thriller. In the new version, Klein plays an aimless youth who discovers his life's calling in the rinks of a brutal, futuristic sport. John McTiernan directs. LL Cool J, Jean Reno and Pink costar. (PG-13) THE TOWN IS QUIET From French director Robert Guediguian comes this portrait of life at the top and bottom of the teeming port city of Marseille. Adriane Ascaride gives a critically applauded starring performance. (R)

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AMELIE*** 1 / 2 Audrey Tautou plays a Parisian waitress who discovers a box of childhood mementos in her apartment, returns it to its owner and changes both their lives forever in this highly acclaimed romance from Alien Resurrection director JeanPierre Jeunet. (R) A BEAUTIFUL MIND*** Russell Crowe stars in the latest from Ron Howard, the story of schizophrenic mathematician John Forbes Nash Jr., who overcame his condition and earned a Nobel Prize while he was at it. Jennifer Connelly and Ed Harris costar. BLACK HAWK DOWN*** 1 / 2 The latest from the great Ridley Scott stars Tom Sizemore, Josh Hartnett and Sam

Shepard, among others, and recounts in white-knuckle detail the fact-based saga of a 1993 U.S. military mission in Somalia that went horribly wrong. Ewan McGregor and Eric Bana also appear. (R) BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF*** Set in 1765 during the reign of Louis XV, this high-style horrorthon concerns the search for the shadowy creature responsible for a series of savage killings. With Monica Bellucci. (R) CORKY ROMANO** SNL's Chris Kattan stars here as a meek, '80s music-loving veterinarian whose mobster family forces him to infiltrate the FBI. Peter Falk and Chris Penn costar. Rob Pritts directs. (PG-13) THE COUNT OF MONTE CRIST0** 1/2 Kevin Reynolds directs this latest adaptation of the Alexandre Dumas classic. Jim Caviezel stars as a swordsman unjustly jailed by a friend. With Guy Pearce and Richard Harris. (PG-13) GOSFORD PARK**** Robert Altman has been getting some of his best reviews in years for this cheeky drawing-room mystery featuring one of the most prestigious ensemble casts ever assembled. Included: Maggie Smith, Emily Watson, Derek Jacobi, Kristin Scott Thomas, Helen Mirren and Stephen Fry. HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER'S STONE*** Chris Columbus' big-screen version of the J.K. Rowling best-seller is solid, fanciful fun for the initiated, but can prove periodically perplexing for anyone not already steeped in Harry-related lore. Daniel Radcliffe stars. (PG) I AM SAM** 1 / 2 Sean Penn plays a mentally challenged man fighting for custody of his young daughter in the latest from writer-director Jessie Nelson. Michelle Pfeiffer and Laura Dem costar. (PG-13) IN THE BEDROOM**** Todd Field wrote and directed this Sundance favorite about a stoic New England family unraveling in the wake of a tragedy. Sissy Spacek, Tom Wilkinson and Marisa Tomei star. (R) JIMMY NEUTRON: BOY GENIUS*** From the folks at Nickelodeon comes the animated adventures of a 10-year-old who saves the world from forces of outer-space evil, with a-lrttle help from hiS;,robot dog. John A. Davis directs.-Patrick Stewart* Martin Short

All your local cinema needs online each week at:

and Rob Paulsen head the voice cast. (G) KATE & LEOPOLD**172 Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman are paired in this latest time-travel vehicle, the story of a woman who falls for a guy who mysteriously materializes from the past. (PG-13) KUNG POW: ENTER THE FIST** 1/2 Steve Oedekerk (Ace Ventura, The Nutty Professor) wrote, directed and stars in this kung-fu film parody, in which dubbed '70s action-pic footage gets a new kick. (PG-13) LASSIE COME HOME This 1943 children's classic introduced the world to not one but two future screen legends: The hardest-working canine in show business and the young Elizabeth Taylor. Roddy McDowall costars. (G) LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING** 1/2 Elijah Wood and Liv Tyler star in Peter Jackson's bigscreen take on J.R.R. Tolkien's beloved classic about hobbits, wizards, elves and a boy who saves the world from the forces of darkness. (PG-13) MONSTERS, INC.*** 172 The new film from the computer whizzes behind Toy Story features the voices of Billy Crystal and John Goodman and is set in the creepy creature capital of Monstropolis, where special portals connect the city to bedroom closets of children they terrorize. Peter Docter and David Silverman direct. (G) THE MOTHMAN PROPHECIES*** Richard Gere and Laura Linney are teamed in this thriller set in a small West Virginia town whose population has reportedly been infiltrated by aliens. Alan Bates costars. Mark Pellington directs. (PG-13) OCEAN'S ELEVEN** 172 Oscar-winning director Steven Soderbergh remakes the 1960 heist classic about a group of pals who rob three Las Vegas casinos in a single night. Standing in for the Rat Pack is the cast of the year: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Julia Roberts and Bill Murray. (PG-13) ORANGE COUNTY*** Jack (Shallow Hal) Black's latest is a family affair in more ways than one. Not only does it take a comic look at the life of a privileged but wildly dysfunctional California household, it's also the work of people with some pretty

Vermont's

famous kin: Costars Colin Hanks and Schuyler Fisk are the offspring of Tom Hanks and Sissy Spacek, respectively. Director Jake Kasdan's dad is Mr. Big Chill himself, Lawrence Kasdan. (PG13) THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS***172 From the creators of Rushmore comes this comedy about a dysfunctional family of neurotic geniuses. Wes Anderson directed and cowrote. Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Owen Wilson and Bill Murray star. (R) SLACKERS** 172 Rushmore's Jason Schwartzman stars in this comedy about a college loser who blackmails three buddies into fixing him up with the campus queen. Devon Sawa costars. Dewey Nicks directs. (R) SNOW DOGS** Cuba Gooding Jr. and James Coburn are paired in this comedy about a writer who decides to leave the big city behind and take part in the famous Iditarod dogsled race. Joanna Bacalso costars. Brian Levant directs. (PG) VANILLA SKY** 1 7 2 Cameron Crowe and Tom Cruise reteam for the first time since Jerry Maguire. This time around, they tell the story of a playboy who finally finds the true love that will redeem him, just as a psycho, suicidal ex barges back into his life. With Penelope Cruz and Cameron Diaz. (R) A WALK TO REMEMBER** 172 Mandy Moore and Shane West play an unlikely pair drawn to each other despite their differences in this romance from Adam Shankman. (PG)

new on video

GHOST WORLD***172 Thora Birch and Scarlett Johansson star in the story of two girls grappling with the uncertainty of life after high school and the toll it takes on their friendship. With Brad Renfro. (R) CAPTAIN CORELLI'S MANDOLIN**172 Nicolas Cage plays an Italian soldier who falls in love with a local beauty while stationed on a Greek island in the early days of World War II. Penelope Cruz costars. John Madden directs. (R)

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Time for one of the most popular versions of our quiz — in which we test your powers of reconstructive thinking with an assortment of famous features, for which we need the owners' famous names...

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For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday and Sunday on News Channel 5!

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS DON TEAGUE SHAWN RICKER BOB LANDRY ALICE NOYES CATE NOBLE JEREMY GAINES PAM MAXWELL CINDY DICK ART HURD BRAD DELANEY

LAST WEEK'S A N S W E R S WHO? JENNIFER LOPEZ WHY? SHE ALONE HAS NOT APPEARED IN THE

ALIEN SERIES

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK. IN THE EVENT OF A TIE, WINNER CHOSEN BY LOTTERY. SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ, PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495. OR EMAIL TO ultrfnprd@aol.com. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES.

All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. * = New film. Film times may change. Please call theaters to confirm. BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4 Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293.

Wednesday 6 —

thursday

Black Hawk Down 6:30. Snow Dogs 6:40. A Walk to Remember 7. Orange County 6:50.

9:15. Birthday Girl 12:05, 2:25, 7:20, 10. Slackers 4:50. A Walk to Remember 12:45, 3:20, 6:55, 9:20. The Count of Monte Cristo 12:30, 3:25, 6:35, 9:30. Black Hawk Down 12:20, 3:30, 6:40, 9:45. Snow Dogs 1, 4, 6:30, 9. A Beautiful Mind 12:35, 3:40, 6:50, 9:50.

friday 8 — thursday 14

Black Hawk Down 2, 7:10. Rollerball 1, 3:20, 6:40, 8:30. Snow Dogs 1, 3:20, 6:40, 8:30. Big Fat Liar 1:20, 3:30, 6:50, 9. No second evening show Sun. Thurs. Matinees Sat. - Sun. only.

CINEMA NINE Shelburne Rd, S. Burlington, 864-5610.

ETHAN A L L E N CINEMAS 4 North Ave Burlington, 863-6040.

friday 8 — thursday 14

Amelie 6:30, 8:45. Harry Potter 6:15. Ocean's Eleven 7, 9:35. Orange County 6:45, 9:30. Mulholland Drive 9:15. Jimmy Neutron (Sat.- Sun. only) 1, 2:40, 4:15.

Wednesday 6 — thursday 7

Birthday Girl 12:05, 2:25, 4:45, 7:10, 9:35. Slackers 12:25, 2:35, 4:50, 7:20, 10. A Walk to Remember 12:45, 3:20, 6:55, 9:20. The Count of Monte Cristo 12:50, 3:50, 7, 9:55. Black Hawk Down 12:20, 3:30, 6:40, 9:45. Snow Dogs 1, 4, 6:30, 9. A Beautiful Mind 12:35, 3:40, 6:50, 9:50. The Lord of the Rings 12, 3:45, 7:30. Kung Pow: Enter the Fist 12:10, 2:10, 4:30, 7:15, 9:25.

friday 8 — thursday 12

Collateral Damage* 12:25, 3:15, 7:10, 9:55. Rollerball* 12, 2:20, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40. Big Fat Liar* 12:10, 2:30, 4:40, 7,

E S S E X OUTLETS CINEMA Essex Outlet Fair, Rt. 15 & 289, Essex Junction, 879-6543

Wednesday 6 — thursday 7

Walk to Remember 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 9:50. The Mothman Prophecies 1:15, 4:10, 7, 9:50. The Count of Monte Cristo 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. Snow Dogs 1, 4, 7, 9:30. Black Hawk Down 12:15, 3:20, 6:30, 9:40. Orange County 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:30. Beautiful Mind 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:40. Lord of the Rings 12:30, 4:15, 8.

friday

1 — thursday

Collateral Damage* 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 9:45. Walk to Remember 1:20, 4:20, 7:10, 9:50. The Mothman Prophecies 1:15, 4:10, 7, 9:50. The Count of Monte Cristo 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. Snow Dogs 1, 4, 7, 9:30. Black Hawk Down 12:15, 3:30, 6:30, 9:40. Beautiful Mind 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:40. Lord of the Rings 12:30, 4:15, 8.

THE SAVOY THEATER Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509.

Wednesday 6 — thursday 7 Gosford Park 5, 7:45.

friday 8— thursday 14

Gosford Park Sat: 1, 6:30, 9:10. Sun: 1, 7. Mon-Thursd: 5, 7:45. The Town Is Quiet 4 (Sat.-Sun only). Lassie Come Home 1 1 (Sat.-Sun only).

NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515.

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5

Wednesday 6 —

Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494.

thursday 7

I Am Sam 3:20, 6:40, 9:45. The Mothman Prophecies 4:10, 7, 10. Brotherhood of the Wolf 3:10, 6:30, 9:30. In the Bedroom 3:40, 7, 9:55. Gosford Park 3, 6:20, 9:30. The Royal Tenenbaums 3:50, 6:50, 9:20.

friday 8 — thursday 12

The Endurance* 12, 2:15 & 4:30 (SatSun), 7:10, 9:30. Lantana* 12:40 & 3:50 (Sat-Sun), 6:50, 10. I Am Sam 12:10 & 3:25 (Sat-Sun only), 6:40, ' 9:45. The Mothman Prophecies 4 (SatSun. only) 7:10, 10. Brotherhood of the Wolf 11:50 & 3 (Sat-Sun only), 6:30, 9:40. In the Bedroom 12:30 & 3:40 (Sat-Sun only), 7, 9:55. Gosford Park 12 & 3:10 (Sat-Sun only), 6:20,9:20.

Wednesday 6 — thursday 7

Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone 4:15, 7:30. Ocean's Eleven 4:10, 7, 9:25. Kate and Leopold 4:05, 6:50, 9:20. Jimmy Neutron 4:20, 6:20, 8:20. Vanilla Sky 4, 6:40, 9:15.

STOWE CINEMA 3 PLEX Mountain Rd. Stowe, 253-4678

Wednesday

6 — thursday 7

Count of Monte Cristo 6:30, 915. A Beautiful Mind 6:30, 9:10. Black Hawk Down 6:30, 9:15.

friday 8 — thursday

A Beautiful Mind (Sat. •• Sun. 2), 6:40, 9:10. The Count of Monte Cristo (Sat. Sun. 2), 6:45, 9:15. Black Hawk Down (Sat. - Sun. 2), 6:30, 9:15. Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time.

CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343.

MAD RIVER FLICK

Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200.

friday 8 — thursday

Orange County 12:10 & 2:30 (Sat.-Sun. only), 4:30, 6:30, 9:05. Monster's Inc. 4 & 6:40 (Tues only). Kung Pow: Enter the Fist 12:15, 2:10, 4:10 (Sat.-Sun. only), 6:20, 8:30. Harry Potter & the Sorcerer's Stone 12 & 3 (Sat.-Sun. only), 6, 9. Ocean's Eleven 12:30 & 4 (Sat.Sun. only), 4:10, 6:40 (not Tues), 9:10. Jimmy Neutron 12:20 & 2:20 (Sat.-Sun. only), 4:20, 6:20, 8:20. Vanilla Sky 6:10, 8:50

MARQUIS THEATER

Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841.

PARAMOUNT THEATRE

2 4 1 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621.

WELDEN THEATER

104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 527-7888.

: -~

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'4AHSEILLES WHAT? Marseilles has always been a notorious city. In ecem t l s m , • igl .-v.ing politicians, upscale developers and struggling ced to the French seaports traditional mix of immigrants have been ••"nrarers, crosrimt gangsters and black-market profiteers, Irs also R j i j ^ r i Guediguians birthplace and, in The Town Is Quiet, the writerdirector examines the m y d a d sorrows beneath its sun-drenched Medke:?? nes?. ;%ad<L T h e t n h ^ k a B t s he depicts are ali trapped in some way as their cir-

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cumstances intersect and overlap. None of them is more tragic than

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Michele, whose chaotic home offers nc; respite from an arduous grave-

yard shift ol packing fish in ice. As piayed with unflinching intensity by Ariane Ascaride — Madame Guediguian in real life — she is a woman utterly without illusions. Her daLighter Fiona (Julie-Marie Parmentier) is the single mother of a baby girl, but shows no interest in the child. She's too busy turning tricks in order to pay for her heroin habit. Screening this weekend as part of the three-month World Cinema Series at Montpelier's Savoy Theater, The Town Is Quiet includes an unforgettable sequence in which Fiona screams for a fix while the infant wails for a bottle of formula. It's the breaking point for Michele, who is stretched to the limit by her efforts to nurture two needy generations. Realizing that Fiona cannot be cured, Michele starts supplying the smack to protect her from painful withdrawal. To do this, she has to supplement her wages by joining in the neighborhood's rampant sex trade, rationalizing that such self-sacrifice is somehow preferable to allowing the younger woman to whore. Michele's estranged husband Claude (Pierre Banderet) has given up on the family, turned to booze and been swept up in the racism and nationalism of his fellow unemployed dockworkers. Although this is hardly the feel-good movie of the year, Guediguian's storytelling skills are persuasive enough to shed light on the grimmest scenarios. The craggy, mournful faces of his actors — Ascaride's a weathered gamin — speak volumes in a minimalist production that values understatement and elliptical editing. The amorous Paul (Jean-Pierre Darroussin) is obsessed with Michele, but, too repressed to woo her, becomes a steady customer instead. Also a dockworker, he has ditched the union to accept a buy-out before investing in a taxicab that's partially financed by money borrowed from a mobster. Michele's reluctant drug dealer is the enigmatic Gerard (Gerard Meylan) — her guardian angel, yet a man consigned to his own private living hell. He broods while listening to Janis Joplin songs and moonlights as an assassin-for-hire. One subplot follows an affair between Viviane (Christine Brucher), a middle-aged music teacher, and Abderamane (Alexandre Ogou), an African ex-con many years her junior. Their fates are inextricably linked to what the other lost souls choose to do in this documentary-style meditation on the not-so-silent agony of Marseilles.

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D O W N U N D E R Oceans away from southern France, Lantana does not paint a terribly upbeat portrait of Australia. The four married couples in Ray Lawrence's acclaimed psychological thriller have problems galore, largely of their own making. What begins as a whodunit winds up revealing the dark, sad secrets of people unable to save themselves from anguish. Despite early raves as the closing night selection at the Toronto International Film Festival in September, Lantana surprisingly hasn't appeared on many critics' 2001 top10 lists or generated much Oscar buzz for its gifted ensemble cast. Perhaps more high-profile hits, like A BeautifulX Mind or Moulin Rouge, have eclipsed the drama from Down Under — which is scheduled to open in Vermont this week. Barbara Hershey portrays Valerie, R a c h a e l B , a k e in L a n t a n a a therapist in Sydney whose marriage to an emotionally distant academic (Geoffrey Rush) has been troubled ever since the death of their young daughter 18 months earlier. One of Valerie's patients, Sonja (Kerry Armstrong), has a philandering husband named Leo. Anthony LaPaglia gives a brilliant performance as this dour bloke, a police detective undergoing a particularly messy midlife crisis. Separated from a husband who loves her, Leo's lonely mistress (Rachael Blake) interferes, with dire consequences, in the lives of a less financially fortunate family next door. Virtually everybody in this picture passes on misery like a bad cold. The noirish murder mystery, heightened by Mandy Walker's insightful cinematography, begins with ominous opening shots: crickets chirping; a patch of lantana, its pretty pink flowers masking thorns, in forbiddingly dense underbrush; a bloody foot. But Lawrence defies the limitations of the genre by presenting com-

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Dear Cecil, I've decided to install a water-fdtration system in my house. As background, the EPA's attempt to reduce the nation's polluted air by introducing an additive into our gasoline supply has had the unintended effect of polluting the groundwater in the wells and reservoirs of 49 states. The culprit is methyl tertiary butyl ether (MTBE), a suspected powerful carcinogen. The better filtration systems remove MTBE, along with trihalomethanes, lead, mercury, lindane, atrazine, asbestos, benzene and the microbiological contaminants Cryptosporidium and giardia. My question is, can a filtration system work too well? Can water be too pure and thus deprive the body of needed minerals, such as fluoride? — Tsunami surfer, via the Straight Dope Message Board

• Is it possible to drink too much water? Several comedians found it Dear Cecil, * . necessary to comment: Sure, you A few years ago, I spent a month could drown! But the fact is, in in the hospital. The nurses always extreme circumstances too much kept a pitcher of water near the bed, water can kill you, even if all you so while I was there I sipped water do is drink it. Kelly Barrett, a 43all day long. Ever since, I keep water year-old pediatric dentist from near me and drink it constantly. Is Littleton, Colorado, died of a conthere such a thing as drinking too dition known as hyponatremia after much water? I'm not talking about drinking too much water during gut-busting, Guinness Book of the 1998 Chicago marathon. World Records amounts. Hyponatremia, aka water intoxica— Craig L. Stevenson tion, occurs when the body's salt and water levels get dangerously Paranoid, are we? Then again, out of balance, leading to swelling we used to think people who worof the brain and leakage of fluid ried about getting trapped by highinto the lungs. It can occur when risefireswere paranoid. The first athletes, hikers, etc., sweat heavily, question inspired a raft of barmy losing both salt and water, but contentions on the Straight Dope replace only water. Diagnostic Message Board, so it seemed to signs: dizziness, disorientation, your columnist it was about time headaches and extreme fatigue. to cover the waterfront, as it were, Prevention: salty snacks and sports and set the record straight. Taking drinks. So pass the taco chips, it from the top: bubba, and let's get healthy. Can water be too pure? Define You're telling me MTBE, a pure. If (a) an organism requires a chemical meant to decrease pollunutrient normally found in water tion, has actually increased polluand (b) filtering eliminates said tion? Uh, yeah. MTBE was supnutrient, then sure, water can be posed to make gasoline burn more too pure. Humans aren't depencleanly, resulting in fewer auto dent on water for any essential emissions. It did that. constituent of their diets other Unfortunately, it's also a suspected than H20 itself. However, a carcinogen that has contaminated household water-filtration system drinking water supplies in many can eliminate a lot of the fluoride parts of the country due to leaking added by your local waterworks to storage tanks and the like. In most fight tooth decay — in systems cases the levels of MTBE detected using distillation, as much as 99 aren't believed to be threatening, percent. but the problem was recognized Some people claim extra-pure only recently, monitoring remains water will cause vital minerals to be spotty and the extent of the threat leached out of the body. Nonsense: to the nation's water supply is not under normal circumstances, you fully known. get all the minerals you need from Atrazine, asbestos, and benzene, food. But see next item.

p e f r f l u t b u f

oh my! Seventy percent of the U.S. water supply is severely polluted! What you need is the Acme NanoIonizing Water Purifier, only 48 easy payments of... Let's keep a level head, Jack. According to the EPA, less than nine percent of community water supplies violated federal water-quality standards as of 1996. To check on conditions in your area, see www.epa.gov/ow/states .html. Incidentally, lest you think bottled water is better, a four-year study by the National Resources Defense Council found that bottled water is poorly regulated, that it's not necessarily cleaner or safer than tap water, and 25 to 40 percent of the time it is tap water. You're worried about fluoride being taken out? You should worry about fluoride being put in! Fluoride is dangerous! Fluoride causes cancer! Fluoride can... Whatever. Long a target of fringe groups, fluoridation is widely considered one of the great public-health achievements of the last century, having reduced cavities on the order of 50 percent and saved billions in dental care costs ($39 billion from 1979 to 1989, according to one study). That said, fluoride is only one of thousands of chemicals that have been introduced into the environment; it'd be foolish to claim that we understand the physiological effects of all of them. If you want to take a stab at filtering chemicals out of your water and doing so doesn't cost very much, why not? — CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic.

Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

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taking a stanza Dead poets may be relegated to the library. But today's bad-ass bards are often on stage, scratching out a sonic soundscape that blends human vocals, experimental tape loops, samples and special effects. With a remarkable vocal range and rapid-fire delivery, "hip-hop poet" Tracie Morris sounds like she is manipulating her voice electronically. But the champion of New York's prestigious Nuyorican Poetry Grand Slam is first to insist the words are where it's at.

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Tracie Morris and Sonic Synthesis. Saturday, February 9. Flynn Center, Turlington, 8 p.m. $16-24. Info, 863-5966.

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february 6, 2002

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suddenly singing Opera doesn't get much more accessible than The Merry Widow — a comedy, sung in English, with a plotline reminscent of a Marx Brothers movie. The London City Opera dramatizes the story of a wealthy widow in the tiny principality of Pontevedro. The zany action wraps around a romantic scheme to keep Hanna Glawari — and her money — from leaving town. Oh, and the music's great, too. Viennese-style waltzes, catchy melodies and impassioned choruses enliven the Franz Lehar creation, which was an instant success when it was first performed in Austria almost 100 years ago. Twenty-first-century Americans could use a little comic relief.

sOUnd

Merry Widow, presented by London City Opera. Friday, February 8. Flynn Center, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $20-51. Info, 863-5966.

The The

Shannon M c N a l l y opens for Robert Randolph Thursday at Higher Ground p. 3 8 a

"ground" sound

mardi party

The music may have died — for a day — on September 11. But now composers are responding to the terrorist attacks with poignant works. Steve Klimowski of the Vermont Contemporary Music Ensemble put out a call to the local composing community for short musical "snapshots" inspired by the tragic event. Eleven contributed, including Vermonters Troy Peters, Erik Nielsen, Don Jamison, Allen Shawn and David Gunn. Make the connection between hearing and healing at a concert Klimowski describes as "a catharsis."

New Orleans North seemed like an oxymoron. Similarly, Burlington in February looked to be an unlikely setting for a party en pleine air — until the folks at Magic Hat proved it was not only possible, but big and easy. The Fat Tuesday festivities start Friday night, but most folks wait for the parade to venture forth to see the floats. Assuming its warm enough, you'll see some otherwise cranky Yankees let the bon temps rouler.

A Musical JResponse to September 11 — A Catharsis. Sunday, February 10. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 7 p.m. $15. Info, 8496900.

eating afghani You can bet the U.S. military is not offering air-dropped "aush" over Afghanistan. Any self-respecting foodie would choose the intricate Middle Eastern dish of lentils, lamb, tomatoes and mint over standard-issue turkey in tin foil. Susan Reid is also cooking eggplant chakka salad and tamarind potatoes at a dinner that raises funds for food transport in the mountainous country. "I think food is a great way to connect people with cultures," says the owner of Susan's Kitchen, which makes international "take-out" in downtown Montpelier. Half the proceeds from the sit-down go to the Vermont Food Bank, which helps hungry folks here at home.

Afghan Food Relief Dinner. Saturday, February 9. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 6 p.m. $15. Info, 223-8646.

Mardi Gras Parade. Saturday, February 9. Downtown Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 658-2739.

second nature? Come Town Meeting Day, dozens of Vermont towns will vote on an "Earth Charter" that calls for building a just, sustainable and peaceful society around the globe. It's a far cry from funding snow-plow purchases, but decidedly more crucial to the planet. Just ask environmental writer Bill*McKibben, author of The End of Nature. Now living in Ripton, he'll speak about the world's major environmental challenges and their public-policy implications at an eco-info session. Bill McKibben on the Earth Charter. Wednesday, February 13. CVU Auditorium, Hinesburg, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 4 8 2 - 3 2 9 5 .

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We don't make art...we make art work. february 6, 2002

SEVEN DAYS

page 31a

Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

College, Hanover, N.H. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

Wednesday

art

music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." ERIC BIBB: The singing blues guitarist combines the sounds of Southern folk and gospel music at this rescheduled show. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $20. Info, 863-5966. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: Pianist Sarah Cahill performs solo works of American music at Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama

'LOVE, SEX, AND THE IRS' AUDITIONS: Theatre on a Shoestring is looking for male actors to cast in their next production about the wages of love. Merlin Suite, University Suites, S. Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 888212-5884.

film

'BREAD AND TULIPS': A downtrodden Italian housewife embarks on a journey of self-discovery when her family strands her in a rest area. Catamount Arts Cente^ St Jofinsbur^, 7 p.m. j $6.50. Info, 748-2600. DOUBLE FEATURE: A group of young friends search for the body of a missing teen in Stand By Me, 6:45 p.m. In the coming-of-age tale Wild Reeds, a group of French youths discover sexuality, 8:45 p.m. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth

• Also, see art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The human Figure motivates aspiring and accomplished artists in a weekly drawing session at Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, 68:30 p.m. $3-5. Info, 865-7166. ARCHITECTURE LECTURE: Art history professor Frazer Ward presents a talk about the ongoing work of Vito Acconci. Vermont College, Montpelier, 6:45 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8500.

words

WRITING GROUP: Share ideas, get feedback and try writing exercises at the Kept Writer Bookshop, St. Albans, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 527-6242.

kids

'ANIMAL ENCOUNTERS': Homeschooled kids unearth the forest's mysterious plants and animals through games, hikes and crafts. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 9:30 a.m. noon. $40-50. Register, 229-6206. STORYTIME: Young readers aged 3 to 5 learn from lighthearted literature, songs and activities. S. Burlington Community Librar-y, 10 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. 'TINY TOTS' STORYTIME: The 3-and-under crowd shares social time and stories. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORY AND CRAFT TIME: Preschoolers aged 3 to 6 dabble in designs and drama. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

Free. Info, 865-7225. CO-OP HOUSING ORIENTATION: Why rent when you can co-op? People inclined to participate in their housing convene at Burlington Community Land Trust, 179 S. Winooski Ave., noon & 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-6244.

etc

'SHE'S A WOMAN, OFFER ; HER LESS': Professor Sara Solnick explores "Gender Differences in Negotiation." UVM Montpelier Regional Center, City 1 Center Building, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 828-2941. MIGRAINE TALK: Dr. Timothy Farrell offers info on the causes of and cures for headaches. Racquet's Edge, Essex Junction, 7-8 p.m. Free. Register, 899-9991. BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: Peaceful protestors stand together against violence and the War Against Terrorism. Unitarian Universalist Church, Burlington, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345, ext. 5. CAREER AND INTERNSHIP FAIR: Representatives from over 30 New England companies, from human services to financial organizations, entertain wannabe apprentices. Alliot Student Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. MOVIES & MUNCHIES NIGHT: This month's feature, Different For Girls, is a romantic comedy that explores definitions of masculinity and femininity. R.U.1.2? Headquarters, 1 Steele St., Burlington, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-7812. 'THE LAKE AND BEYOND': Find out about "important bird areas" in the world of conservation biology. S. Burlington Community Library, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-1848. REIKI CLINIC: Practitioners of all levels — and those who are just curious — learn about the handson healing method. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m.

music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." OPEN MIKE NIGHT: Acoustic musicians accompany the dining at Mary's at Baldwin Creek, Bris-tol, 8-10 p.m. Free. Info, 453-2776. KEN PEARLMAN: The renowned clawham-style banjo player teams up with fiddler James Stephens and guitarist Nathan Curry at The Music Box, Craftsbury, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 586-7533.

drama

'LOVE, SEX, AND THE IRS' AUDITIONS: See February 6. 'TRUE WEST': A Hollywood screenwriter wages a psychological battle with his estranged, drifter brother in this Sam Shepard play. City Hall Arts Center, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $19. Info, 229-0492. 'OVID: TALES OF MYTH & MAGIC': Northern Stage presents a new adaptation of Ovid's beautiful and erotic tales of transformation and human folly. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 8 p.m. $17-27. Info, 296-7000. > ^ ; 'SHIRLEY VALENTINE': Grace Kiley stars in Willy Russell's award-winning one-woman play about an ordinary British housewife with a fantastic imagination. Bluff House Hall, Ye Olde England Inne, Stowe, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 253-5320. 'A FEW GOOD MEN': A young Navy officer brings the U.S. Marine Corps to its knees in this

Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Aaron Sorkin. Dibden Center,; Johnson State College, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 635-1386. : \.

film

'BREAD AND TULIPS': See February 6. 'LIFE ON EARTH': This subtitled French flick focuses on the significance of the start of the 21st-century for people still struggling to enter the 20th. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422. 'SLAYING THE DRAGON': This film exposes the racial and gender stereotyping of Asian women in the U.S. 104 Allen House, UVM, Burlington, noon. Free. Register, 656-7990.

art

• See art listings.

words

INDIA BOOK DISCUSSION: Bookworms gather to discuss Barbara Stoler Miller's translation of The Bhagavad-Gita: Krishna's Counsel in Time of War. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 388-4095. DAVID BUDBILL: The author offudevine and Moment to Moment reads from his classic Vermont works in the Morgan Room, Aiken Hall, Champlain College, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 860-2700. POETRY WORKSHOP: Local poet David Weinstock shares writing tips with aspiring authors. \ .. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

kids

STORYTIME: See February 6. MOTHER GOOSE TIME: Toddlers take in classic children's tales at the S. Burlington Community Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. PARENTING WORKSHOP: Parents learn how to talk so kids will listen. Champlain Elementary

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School, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7467. HOMESCHOOLERS' STORYTIME: Stay-at-home students listen to stories told the old-fashioned way at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1:302:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

sport

SKI INN: Adventurers explore the network of nordic trails at the Highland Lodge, Greensboro, 9:45 a.m. Free. Register, 533-2647. WALKING CLUB: Take strides for fun and fitness at Twin Oaks Sports, 75 Farrell St., S. Burlington, 8-9 a.m. Free. Info, 658-0002.

etc

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 6. WOMEN'S COMING O U T SUPPORT GROUP: Openminded females make supportive social contacts at R.U. 1.2? Headquarters, 1 Steele St., Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 860-7812. BUSINESS MEETING: The Burlington Business Association holds a membership meeting over coffee at Mona's Restaurant, Burlington, 7:30 a.m. Free. Register, 863-1175. FIBROMYALGIA TALK: Dr. Timothy Farrell demonstrates hands-on techniques to treat painful symptoms without drugs. Athletic Club of Vermont, Essex Junction, 7-8 p.m. Free. Register, 899-9991. 'SMART WOMEN FINISH RICH': An educational seminar based on David Bach's best-selling book provides seven steps to assure financial security. UVM Montpelier Regional Center, 4:30-5:30 p.m. Free. Register, 800-869-9660. PUBLIC MEETING: The Chittenden County Metropolitan Planning Organization discusses transportation solutions to help alleviate congestion on Route 15 between Burlington and Essex. Winooski Municipal Building, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-1794. QUILT GROUP: Expert and novice needlers with decorative

designs apply themselves to quilting projects at the Brook Street School, Barre, 6-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8765.

music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." MARK DRESSER TRIO: The master bassist of modern jazz and his trio perform a selection of original compositions. Flynn Center, Burlington, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 863-5966. WINTER WHINGDING: Student a cappella groups perform with guest ensembles from other colleges. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $8. Info, 603-646-2422. 'THE MERRY WIDOW': The London City Opera performs the play about the wealthiest woman in a tiny country married to an old lover who once jilted her. See "7 Selects," this issue. Flynn Center, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $20-51. Info, 863-5966. PATTY LARKIN & CATIE CURTIS: The singer-songwriters perform folk tunes to benefit the Peace & Justice Center. Unitarian Church, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $21-23. Info, 863-8326. TURNING POINT: The St. Albans-based jazz trio performs at The Kept Writer Bookshop and Cafe, St. Albans, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 527-6242.

dance

SWEETHEART BALL: Callers from New England, Virginia, Tennessee, Georgia and California guarantee an unforgettable weekend of square and round dancing. Sheraton Hotel, S. Burlington, 711 p.m. Call for admission times and prices. Info, 879-9350. SWING DANCE: Deejay and instructor Brandy Anderson spins

swinging tunes for dancers. 20 Crowley St., Burlington. Free lessons, 7-8 p.m. Dance, 8-11 p.m. $5, Info, 862-9033. BALLROOM DANCE PARTY: Waltz your way through a night of social dancing at this weekly soiree. Jazzercize, Williston. Mini-lesson, 7 p.m. $10. Dance only, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 862-2207.

drama

'TRUE WEST': See February 7, $21. 'OVID: TALES OF MYTH & MAGIC': See February 7. 'SHIRLEY VALENTINE': See February 7. 'A FEW G O O D MEN': See February 7.

Your Sweetie!

Friday Night 2/8,

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'ABBEY HEMENWAY & T H E VERMONT GAZETTEER': Biographer Deborah Clifford discusses the life of the female editor of a 19th-century collection of local history. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 723-6551.

art

• Also, see art listings. SUE WILLIAMS DISCUSSION: The controversial painter of sexually explicit subject matter presents a talk entitled "Progression Towards Abstraction." College Hall Chapel, Vermont College, Montpelier, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8500. FINE ARTS DESSERT NIGHT: An evening of visual arts and chamber music features delicious

CLIMBING SERIES: Adventure travel guide Chris Whitlock talks about the technical skills required to climb volcanoes in the Pacific Northwest. Green Mountain Club Headquarters, Waterbury Center, 7 p.m. $8. Info, 244-7037. TEEN SWIM: Teen-agers take the plunge in an indoor pool and experience the next best thing to summer. Greater Burlington YMCA, 8-9:45 p.m. $2. Info, 862-9622.

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Saturday

Friday, February 8 at 8 pm

music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice."

Continued on page 6b

1068 Williston R o a d So - Burlington 863-6363 my

last

Uri Caine Octet's Goldberg Variations Saturday, February 16 at 7 AND 9:30 pm

9:00pm - 2:00am ^ ( M m

Brilliant New York bassist and composer Mark Dresser joins flutist Matthias Ziegler and "hyperpianist" Denman Maroney for an extraordinary evening of improvisational jazz, including live accompaniment to the Salvador Dali/Luis Bunuel silent film classic

Un Chien Andalou.

Dark Horse

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Iconoclastic pianist and composer Uri Caine brings his superb octet for two performances of a triumphant jazz tribute to Johann Sebastian Bach's Goldberg Variations, one of the supreme works of the classical canon. Educational activities include Masterdasses on Bass, Piano, & Flute and Meet the Composer for each show. Call 802-652-4500 for information on these events and ongoing classes in jazz.

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BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 6. FAMILY FUN FESTIVAL: Families enjoy art, music, science and literacy activities along with a community dinner at the Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 4-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420.

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'THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE': Gillerma del Toro's fantasy flick blends a suspenseful ghost story with the emotional drama of a young boy struggling to adjust to life during the Spanish Civil War. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6.50. Info, 748-2600. 'CHUTNEY POPCORN': Nisha Ganatra's film focuses on a young Indian-American lesbian who decides to have a baby for her sister. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422. 'TAKE A BREAK FRIDAY': Women gather for snacks and social time during a matinee viewing of Fried Green Tomatoes. AWARE Office, Hardwick, noon. Free. Info, 472-6463.

LIVEKUSIC

GIVEN GROOVE

words

'MUSIC W I T H ROBERT AND GIGI': Kids sing songs with Robert Resnik and his fiddle-playing friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

film

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SEVEN DAYS

page 5b

SS5S8

ale Continued from page 5b

Masks Costumes Dinner Music Dancing Silent Auction

Radisson Hotel Burlington Cash bar 6:00 Dinner 7:00 Music & Dancing 'til 12 Come in costume or your Sunday best. Tickets: 658-5728

The UVM Lane Series presents London City Opera in

The Merry Widow Franz

Lehar's

comic

delight

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^page 42a SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2002

TRACIE MORRIS & SONIC SYNTHESIS: The performance poet mixes blues, jazz and hiphop with a seven-member band for backup. See "7 Selects," this issue. Flynn Center, Burlington, 8 p.m. $16-24. Info, 863-5966. J.P. CORMIER: The singer-songwriter plays a multi-instrumental show of Celtic, Acadian, folk and bluegrass music at the United Methodist Church, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $18. Info, 388-0216. LEO KOTTKE: The established guitarist plays it up — velvethammer style — in a solo show at the Paramount Theatre, Rutland, 8 p.m. $30-35. Info, 775-0903. BARBARY COAST JAZZ ENSEMBLE: Percussionist Bobby Sanabria sits in on a sizzling session. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $14. Info, 603-646-2422. ALUMNI CONCERT: More than 30 alumni of UVM's a cappella Top Cats sing songs from the 70s, '80s and today. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 863-6493. BENEFIT CONCERT: Singersongwriter Rachel Bissex, poet GeofT Hewitt and other local performers donate their time and talent to benefit the Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 8 p.m. $12. Info, 728-9878. VIBES!: The group of three drummers and four poets sound out students and other audience members with their unique brand of performance art. Green Mountain College, Poultney, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 235-2400.

dance

SWEETHEART BALL: See February 8. COMMUNITY SWING DANCE: Peggy Hayes and the Bob Merril Band perform swinging love songs from the World War II era. Woodstock Union High School, 7-11 p.m. $10. Info, 457-3981. IMBOLC SACRED CIRCLE DANCE: Celebrate Earth-based spirituality through traditional folk dances. Yoga Vermont Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 425-6061. LATINO VALENTINE'S DANCE: Deejay Hector "El Salsero" Cobeo spins discs at a spicy shakedown for Latin lovers. Radisson Hotel, Burlington, 9 p.m. - 1 a.m. $15. Info, 862-5082. GROUNDHOG BALL: The Queen City Contras raise funds with a daylong celebration of folk music and dance with live accompaniment. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 2-11 p.m. $14. Info, 658-4651. SUFI DANCING: Chanting, moving and sharing sacred space with others characterizes "Dances of Universal Peace." Soumome Studio, 69 Mountain St., Bristol, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2836. ITALIAN MASKED BALL: The Vermont Italian Cultural Association celebrates Venetian Carnevale with a costumed feast. Radisson Hotel, Burlington,

6 p.m. $55. Info, 658-5728. CONTRA DANCE: Jackie Hall calls the steps at this community dance made musical by the band Jonah and the Whales. Irasburg Town Hall, 7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 895-2802.

drama

TRUE WEST': See February 7, $21.

'OVID: TALES OF MYTH & MAGIC': See February 7. 'SHIRLEY VALENTINE': See February 7. 'A FEW GOOD MEN': See February 7. IMPROV AUDITIONS: The commedia dell' arte troupe is looking for strong improvisers and physical comedians to join their riotous ranks. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 3-5 p.m. Free. Info, 860-3621. 'METAMURPHOSIS': Physical comedian Tom Murphy performs his one-man "senseless solo slapstick saga" at Rochester High School, 8 p.m. $5-10. Info, 767-3697. 'THE STORY OF ESTHER': The All Saints Community Players present a musical adaptation of the biblical story by Mary Lou Sutherland. All Saints' Church, S. Burlington, 5 p.m. $6. Info, 862-9750.

film

'THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE': See February 8, 7 & 9 p.m. 'GRATEFUL DAWG': This Dead-ly documentary details the musical relationship between Jerry Garcia and David Grisman. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422. BANFF MOUNTAIN FILM FESTIVAL: View the best skiing, biking and climbing films from last year's Canadian festival. Billings Theater, UVM, Burlington, 4, 6:30 & 9 p.m. $8. Info, 658-3313.

art

® See art listings. 'A RED HOT EVENING': Artsy peep shows, hot and spicy food, door prizes, salsa dancing and a costume contest make for a cookin' evening at Studio Place Arts, Barre, 6-10 p.m. $15-25. • Info, 479-7069.

words

'MEN OF COLOR, TO ARMS!': James R. Fuller discusses his book about the 152 Vermont African-Americans who fought on the Union side of the Civil War. Borders Cafe, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 865-2711.

kids

FRONTIER DAYS: Kids get a taste of 18th-century frontier fun through games at the Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 865-4556.

sport

CROSS-COUNTRY SKI: Skiers of all abilities take to the trails of the Trapp Family Lodge with the Montpelier section of the Green

Mountain Club. Meet at Montpelier High School, noon. $16. Register, 223-2921. GORGE HIKE: Investigate winter wildlife on a tracking hike in the Otter Creek Gorge Preserve. Meet at the Trail Around Middlebury, 10 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 388-1007. ABBEY POND SNOWSHOE: The Vermont chapter of the Sierra Club explores one of the proposed wilderness areas in the Green Mountain National Forest. Abbey Pond Area, 10 a.m. 2 p.m. Free. Register, 865-2642. INTRO TO SNOWSHOEING: Learn the basics of snowshoeing while exploring the history of this ancient form of winter travel. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 10 a.m. - noon. $10. Register, 723-6551. SNOWSHOE NATURE WALK: A naturalist leads a woodland tromp to observe the winter life of plants and animals. Highland Lodge, Greensboro, 2 p.m. $6.508.50. Register, 533-2647.

etc

MARDI GRAS CELEBRATION: Let the good times roll at this almost "Fat Tuesday" parade and bash to benefit the Women's Rape Crisis Center. See "7 Selects," this issue. Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 658-2739. CHINESE NEW YEAR FESTIVAL: Ring in the Year of the Horse with a daylong program of scholarly lectures, storytelling, lantern-making and a dramatic street parade. Venues around Rochester, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 767-3927. GENEALOGY GROUP: The Friends of the Fletcher Free Library host a meeting to share ideas and strategies for family tree shaking. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 660-8946. WINTER BIRD-FEEDING WORKSHOP: Learn how to attract a variety of birds to your feeder with a slide show and a short hike through the Intervale. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 1-3 p.m. $5: Info, 865-4556. MONTE CARLO NIGHT: Bring a friend along for a casual night of poker, blackjack, craps, wheel of fortune and r'oulette at Temple Sinai, S. Burlington, 711 p.m. $5. Info, 985-3980. BENEFIT DINNER: A special dinner of Afghan dishes raises funds for food relief in Afghanistan and Vermont. See "7 Selects," this issue. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 6 p.m. $15. Info, 223-8646. TOWN MEETING SERIES: The director of the Vermont chapter of the American Friends Service Committee generates discussion with a question: "What is Real Security?" Woodbury College, Montpelier, 11:30 a.m. 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0516.

w f i-.Zi-T

flTHER. J F S TIIHE FOR THE

music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." 'FLUTOPIA': Flutist Alex Ogle is joined by soprano Melinda Spratlan and pianist Chonghyo Shin in a program of wind works, including "Mayflies" by Lewis Spratlan. Rollins Chapel, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: Tenor Philip Crowell teams up with pianist David Thron to perform French songs at Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422. LYLE KING: The acoustic singer-songwriter entertains book buyers with catchy melodies at Borders Cafe, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. 'HERITAGE OF THE MARCH': The Vermont Wind Ensemble performs marches of all shapes and styles, including works by Sousa, Haydn and John Williams. Redstone Recital Hall, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-7774. 'UNA FESTA ITALIANA DINNER': Accordion music adds to the atmosphere at a fivecourse dinner and silent auction to benefit the Flynn Center. Sweet Tomatoes, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 6 p.m. $60. Reservations, 652-4507. WINTER CONCERT: The Vermont Contemporary Music Ensemble performs compositions written in direct response to the September 11 tragedy. See "7 Selects," this issue. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 7 p.m. $15. Info, 863-5966.

drama

'TRUE WEST': See February 7, 6:30 p.m. $21. 'OVID: TALES OF MYTH & MAGIC': See February 7, 5 p.m. IMPROV AUDITIONS: See February 9. 'ONCE UPON A TIME... AND NEVER AGAIN': Members of Vermont's Bosnian refugee community perform an original theater piece based on their homeland tragedy. Montpelier High School, 6 p.m. $8. Info, 863-5966.

dance GAELFORCE DANCE: The troupe of world-champion dancers performs traditional Irish dance, music and song at the Flynn Center, Burlington, 7 p.m. $34.50-39.50. Info, 863-5966.

film 'THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE': See February 8, 1:30 & 7 p.m. 'OCEAN'S ELEVEN': George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matt Damon star in Steven Soderbergh's remake of the "Rat Pack"

original. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art • See art listings.

kids CHOIR AUDITIONS: Kids pipe up for a place in the Encore Choir and to perform this spring with the Vermont Youth Sinfonia Orchestra. Burlington, 1-3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 660-4917.

SNOWSHOE & POTLUCKBring a dish to go with "Sally Sair's famous soup" after a day of snowshoeing in Woodbury. Meet at Montpelier High School, noon. Free. Info, 456-1316. BACK COUNTRY SNOWSHOE: The Vermont chapter of the Sierra Club takes to the snow around Mount Mansfield. Meet at Underhill State Park Access Road, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Register, 862-8324. TEEN BASKETBALL: The indoor court makes hoop dreams come true for teens at the Greater Burlington YMCA, 4-5 p.m. $2. Info, 862-9622.

etc PRIMITIVE SKILLS SERIES: Explore fire-building techniques, including hand and pump drill methods. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. $10. Register, 723-6551. WOMEN'S DROP-IN SOCIAL: Get out, ladies. Anything goes at R.U.1.2? Headquarters, 1 Steele St., Burlington, 4-7 p.m. Free. Info, 860-7812. 'PEACE: THINKING THE UNTHINKABLE': Discover the art and power of dialogue with friends and neighbors at Shelburne Municipal Office Building, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-8984. LEGISLATIVE BREAKFAST: Members of the business community enjoy breakfast goodies while hearing about "The Regulatory Climate in Vermont." Sheraton Hotel, S. Burlington, 7:30 a.m. $15. Register, 863-3489. FLEA MARKET: Treasure hunters browse bric-a-brac, antiques and collectibles at the Old Labor Hall, Barre, 9 a.m. 2 p.m. Free. Info, 454-1961. VEGETARIAN POTLUCK: Meat-eaters, too, can indulge in this flesh-free feast. Bring a place setting and a dish that contains no poultry, fish, gelatin, eggs, dairy or honey. Seventh Day Adventist Church, Williston, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0984: BABYSITTING COURSE: Pre-teens get a crash course in the characteristics and basic care of children. American Red Cross. 29 Mansfield Ave., Burlington, noon - 4 p.m. $25. Register, 660-9130.

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Valentine's Day Dinner & Dance

Cape Breton singer/songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. Twice winner of the East Coast Music Awards (Canada) and a JUNO

nominee, he brings his incredible stage presence, combined with his razor-sharp wit. "His songs evoke the Cape Breton Highlands as wistfully as any Scot." — Sing Out Magazine. Joined by his wife Hilda Chiasson on piano and Joe Butcher on bass.

-ENTREES -

Prime Rib with roasted veqetables and baked potato

Honey Roasted Duck

witli pice pilaf and braised cabbaqe

witli spicq rice and chef s vegetable

$35/couple Doors open at 6 p m . Music &

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Saturday, February 9 • 7:00 p.m.

Crayfish Bar r-

Blackened Whole Snapper

• 655-2720

J.P. Cormier

A P P E T I Z E R S -

A Taste of Dixie Continued on page 8b

BOrjs.rl wtxrr

Info: 802-388-0216 Tickets: $16 Advance $18 Door

february 6 , 2 0 0 2

T l i e United Methodist Church C o r n e r of Rte. 7 and Seminary St. 4

Middlebury f www.atterdarkmusicsertes.com

Tickets available at: Middlebury Inn, Main Street Stationery or P.O. Box 684, Middlebury, V T 05753.

SEVEN DAYS

page 7b

alendar Continued from page 7b

Dorscher demonstrates tricks of successful garden photography using film, lens and special lighting. UVM Horticultural Research Center, S. Burlington, 6-8 p.m. $10. Info, 864-3073.

11 monday music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." CHAMPLAIN ECHOES: Harmonious women compare notes at a weekly rehearsal of the all-female barbershop chorus. The Pines, Dorset St., S. Burlington, 6:45 p.m. Free. Info, 879-3087. BARRE-TONES: The women's barbershop chorus encourages adult females to experience the harmonics at Alumni Hall, Barre, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 485-7712.

dance

NEW DANCE PERFORMANCE: This annual offering from Quebec's Tagente Dance Space features experimental works from choreographers Sonya Beirnath, Tania Alvarado and Eddie Ladd. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $15. Info, 863-5966.

film 'THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE': See February 8. CAMERA CLUB MEETING: Shutterbug Len Dessormeau shares slides set to music. 17 Hills Building, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6485. SHUTTERBUGS IN T H E GARDEN: Writer Cheryl

art

• See art listings.

words

USED BOOK SALE: Check out recycled books to benefit the Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 10 a.m. - 8 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338.

kids

PARENTING WORKSHOP: See February 7, Westford Elementary School. SONG AND STORYTIME: Threes are company at this singing read-along for babies and toddlers. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10 & 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

etc

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 6. VOLUNTEER ORIENTATION: Learn the skills necessary to support survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault at the Abuse and Rape Crisis Center, St. Albans, noon & 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 524-8538. 'FIRST RESPONSE TEAM' RECRUITMENT: The community response to "quality of life

crimes" — graffiti, broken windows and vandalism — takes volunteers into the ranks of the "quick-strike squad." Gregory Supply, 315 Pine Street, Burlington, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 865-7548. 'DISAPPEARING BURLINGT O N LAWNS': Geologist Paul Bierman discusses the impact of students, cars and land use change on Burlington's green space. Memorial Lounge, Waterman Building, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4389. EDUCATION LECTURE: Members and friends of the American Association of University Women listen to a talk about Italian preschools. Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-1917. AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL MEETING: Get informed and organized to fight human rights abuses. Unitarian Universalist Society, Burlington, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-1358. NETWORKING GROUP: Employee hopefuls get job leads, connections, skills and support. Career Resource Center, Vermont Department of Employment & Training, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 652-0325.

tuesday music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." GREEN MOUNTAIN C H O RUS: The all-male chorus seeks voices to learn barbershop singing and quarteting. S. Burlington High School, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-6465.

dance

CONTACT IMPROVISATION DANCE JAM: Dancers of all abilities partake in a dance form that ranges from meditative to acrobatic. Edmunds Elementary School, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Donations. Info, 951-8947. SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCING: Jig and reel with or without a partner during a night of traditional cavorting. First Congregational Church of Essex Junction, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $4. Info, 879-7618.

film ' T H E DEVIL'S BACKBONE': See February 8.

art

• See art listings.

BOOK READS: Local author Reeve Lindbergh reads from her newest book, No More Words: A Journal of My Mother, Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774. BURLINGTON WRITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 864-2827.

kids

MOTHER GOOSE TIME: See February 7. 'MUSIC W I T H ROBERT AND GIGI': See February 8. PARENTING WORKSHOP: Parents pick up pointers on punishment — and alternatives to it — at Champlain Elementary School, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7467. PRESCHOOL STORYTIME: Tykes ages 3 to 5 get an early appreciation for literature. Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 482-2878. STORYTIMES: Youngsters benefit from books read aloud. 1-3 years, 10 a.m. 4-5 years, 1 p.m. S. Burlington Community Library. Free. Info, 652-7080.

sport

words

WALKING CLUB: See February

USED BOOK SALE: See February 11.

Continued on page 10b

February 8

Cannon Mountain

February 15

E\11AJKE

i/2 Frice

a different mountain every Friday through April 5th. skiing or boarding with your coupon. great prizes at the apres-ski party.

BUTTONS AVAILABLE photo: Sugarbush

I isten for details on The 104.7

liunlington/montpeiier

^page 42a SEVEN DAYS

at SkiRack, Action Outfitters, Alpine Shop,

Vincents Drug anil Variety, Golt and Ski Warehouse, Onion River Sports,

103.1/107.7

white river junction/lebanon

february

6, 2 0 0 2

Village Sport Shop, Littleton Rike Shop, Fat Hat Factory

Point at: 95.7

st. johnsbury/iittleton

wvuw.pointfm.com

â&#x20AC;˘mm^m;

H I asses acting

ACTING COACHING: Ongoing coaching for auditions, rehearsal and technique for film and stage. Williston. $40 per hour. Info, 878-0432. Veteran acting coach Grace Kiley helps individuals, scene partners or groups improve and refine their craft. ACTING FOR FILM CLASSES: Ongoing professional filmacting classes in Burlington, Rutland and Montpelier. $175/ month. Info, 223-1246 or www. lostnationtheater.org/AFF. Certifiedfilm-acting coach Jock MacDonald leads sessions held in conjunction with the Los Angelesbased Cameron Thor Studio, Edgewood Studios and Lost Nation Theater. AUDITION WORKSHOP: Saturday, February 16, 12:305:30 p.m. Flynn Center for the Performing Arts, Burlington. Info, 652-4500 or www.flynncen ter.org. New and experienced actors get tips on how to give a strong, creative audition.

bartending

PROFESSIONAL BARTENDING TRAINING: Day, evening and weekend courses. Various locations. Info, 888-437-4657 or bartendingschool.com. Get certified to make a mean martini, margarita, manhattan or mai tai.

$135. Register, 657-3872 or julia@petracliffs.com. Build your confidence on steeper terrain by rappeling offsolid anchors.

cooking

Flynn Avenue, Burlington.Thursday Taiko sessions ongoing at Cap-ital City Grange, Montpelier. Kids, 4:15 p.m. Adults, 5:15 p.m. Info, 658-0658. Experience the power of taiko-rty/<? drumming.

language

ITALIAN: Group and individual instruction, beginner to advan-ced, all ages. Middlebury area. Prices vary. Info, 545-2676. Immerse yourselfin Italian to get ready for a trip abroad, or to better enjoy the country's music, art and cuisine. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners to intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloane Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language. ITALIAN LANGUAGE & CULTURE: Tuesdays through April 16, 7-9 p.m. Mt. Abraham Union High School, Bristol. Info, 453-5885. After reviewing basic grammar and vocabulary, veteran Italian traveler Nicole Librandi fosters discussion ofa range of cultural topics.

CHOCOLATE MASK-MAKING or CREOLE COOKING: Saturday, February 9, 10-11:30 a.m. (masks) and 3-4:30 p.m. LEARN TO KNIT: Saturday, (creole). New England Culinary February 9, 10 .m. - 4 p.m. START UP: Thursdays, February Institute, 25 Church Street, Northeast Fiber Arts Center, 7 through May 16, 5-9 p.m. and Burlington. Prices vary. Register, Williston. $55, includes all mateSundays, 3-7 p.m. Women's Small rials. Register, 288-8081. Knit a 863-5150 ext. 38. Sharpen your Business Program, Burlington. beautiful chenille scarf while learnculinary skills with top teachers. $1250, grants available. Info, February 16: Edible Aphrodisiacs, ing all the basics of knitting. 846-7160. Learn valuable business morning; Components of Wine, and computer skills to develop a afternoon. March 9, Cooking With plan for turning a business idea Wine. SEED-STARTING BASICS: into action. Saturday, February 16, 10 a.m. MARKET YOUR SMALL noon. Gardeners Supply Store, BUSINESS: Six alternate POTTERY PAINTING: Intervale Road, Burlington. Free. Thursdays, beginning February 7, Ongoing beginner-to-advanced Register, 660-3505. Start plants 6:30-8:30 p.m. New Directions classes. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, early from seed to get a specific Studio, Burlington. $250. Regi119 College St., Burlington. Info, variety of flower in your garden. ster, 862-3888 or Karen@passion 652-0102. Learn the basics or fine playcoaching.com. Professional techniques for painting ceramics to coach Karen Steward Nolan helps create gifts and other treasures. SAVE YOUR BACK WORKparticipants create solid marketing MOY YAT VTNG TSUN SHOP: Saturday, February 16, plans and sharp publicity tools. KUNG FU: Ongoing classes in 10 a.m. Stoweflake Spa & Sports BETTER COMMUNICAWaitsfield; register now for Club, 1746 Mountain Road, BURLINGTON BALLET: TION, RELATIONSHIPS & Burlington classes beginning in Stowe. $15, with refreshments. Ongoing Saturdays, 10:30 a.m. BUSINESS: Wednesday, FebruJanuary. All ages and levels. Info, AIK3DO OF CHAMPLAIN Info, 253-7355. Improve the qualnoon. On Track Studio, Union ary 13, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Radisson 496-4661, 425-6251 for BurlingVALLEY: Adults, Monday through ity and integrity of your back with Station, 1 Main Street, BurlingHotel, Burlington. $150, includes ton classes, or www.kungfu Friday, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 ton. Info, 238-9612. Local dancer quick and easy techniques. breakfast and lunch. Register, videos.com. Learn applicable p.m. Wednesdays, noon - 1 p.m. Sophie Backus teachers beginners, 425-7227; info, www.Round fighting techniques while developSaturdays, 10:15-11:15 a.m. & advanced-beginners and intermedistoneIntl.com. Learn how better ing discipline and strength. The 11:15 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Children, ate ballet dancers; newcomers can MIDDLEBURY SHOTOKAN communication in the workplace foundation principles of this Tuesdays, 4-5 p.m. and Saturdays, try a first class at halfprice. KARATE: Wednesdays and Frican improve bottom-line results. ancient art are relaxation, center9-10 a.m. Aikido of Champlain CUBAN & NYC-STYLE days, 6:30-7:30 p.m. or 7:30-8:30 line and efficiency of motion. Valley, 257 Pine Street, Burlington. SALSA: Four Tuesdays beginning p.m., Saturdays 11 a.m. - noon Info, 951-8900 or www.aikido WING CHUN KUNG FU: February 12, Champlain Club, (kids), and noon - 1 p.m. (all vt.org. We've relocatedcome and EXPEDITION MOUNFridays, 6 p.m. Martial Way SelfCrowley Street, Burlington. Intro ages). Middlebury Fitness Center. visit our beautiful new space. TAINEERING: Saturday and Defense Center, 25 Raymond to NYC-style and Cuban-style Prices vary. Info, 388-3371 or AIKIDO OF VERMONT: Sunday, February 9 & 10, 9 a.m. Road, Colchester. First class free. salsa at 6:30 p.m. Rueda practice www.jkavermont.com. Instructor Ongoing classes Monday through Petra Cliffs Climbing Center, 105 Info, 893-8893. This simple and sessions at 7:30. Level 1 Cuban Jairo Blanco, with 27years ofnaFriday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m. Briggs Street, Burlington. $225. practical martial art form was cresalsa at 8:30. $10/class $5/practional and international traning Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m. Sunday, Register, 657-3872 or julia@petr ated by a woman and requires no tice session. Register, 864-7953. experience, teaches students to in10-11:30 a.m. Above Onion aclifFs.com. Learn alpine travel special strength or size. David Larson and Rebecca Brookes crease physical and mental power River Co-op, 274 N. Winooski skills, rope management, snow shel- teach these sizzling dances. ARNIS: Saturdays, 11:15 a.m. through traditional Shotokan Karate. Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. ter construction and winter camp- SALSA VALENTINE SOCIAL: Martial Way Self-Defense Center, Practice the art of Aikido in a safe ing on an overnight summit 25 Raymond Road, Colchester. Thursday, February 14, 7-9 p.m. and supportive environment. . attempt in the Adirondacks. First class free. Info, 893-8893. Champlain Club, Crowley Street, NOT-JUST-YOGA FOR KIDS: WOMEN'S ICE CLINIC: This Filipino discipline combines Burlington. $5. Info, 864-7953. Saturday, February 9. Battery Sunday, February 24, 9 a.m. the fluid movements of the .escrima Dancers ofall levels enjoy a noStreet Jeans building, Burlington. 4 p.m. Petra Cliffs Climbing stick with graceful and dynamic COMMUNITY PASTEL pressure opportunity to learn and Free. Register, 860-3685. Kids Center, 105 Briggs Street, footwork. CLASS: Ongoing Tuesdays, 6-8 practice salsa steps with David enjoy a fun session of music, art Burlington. $85. Register, p.m. Upstairs theater space, TAEKWONDO: Beginning and Larson and Rebecca Brookes. and yoga; space is limited. 657-3872 or julia@petracliffs Christ Church, 64 State Street, advanced classes Monday, WedTHURSDAY SALSA CLASSES: SIGN UP FOR 'HEARTS TO .com. Beginners to advanced Montpelier. $90/eight weeks. nesday, Thursday, 4:30-8:30 p.m. Four Thursdays beginning FebGO': Saturday, February 9, 10 a.m. climbers enjoy a testosterone-free ruary 21. Multi-level NYC-style Info, 223-6568. Linda Hogan Saturdays, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. The - 12:30 p.m. Shelburne Craft day of ice climbing taught by helps artists ofall ages and skill Blue Wave TaeKwonDo School, salsa at 7:30 p.m. Level 1 Cuban School, Shelburne Village. $20. women. level create better pastel works. 182 Main Street, Burling-ton. style, an intermediate casion/ Info, 985-3648. Kids 7-11 make INTERMEDIATE WATERCOLINTRODUCTION TO Prices vary. Info, 658-3359 or Rueda class at 8:30 p.m. Champbeautiful, funny or romantic valenOR CLASS: Saturday, February 9, MOUNTAINEERING: info@bluewavetkd.com. Fifthlain Club, Crowley Street, Burtines using a variety ofpaper tech11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Artists' Mediums, Saturday, February 23, 9 a.m. degree black belt andformer lington. $ 10/cIass. Info, 864-7953. niques. Tafts Farm Village Center, Willi4 p.m. Petra Cliffs Climbing national team member Gordon W. Competitive dancer David Larson MUSIC SEEDS: MUSIC FOR ston. Info, 879-1236. Noted VerCenter, 105 Briggs Street, BurWhite teaches the exciting art and helps students at all levels learn popTHE VERY YOUNG: Saturday, mont artist Kathleen Berry Bergeron lington. $85. Register, 657-3872 Olympic sport of TaeKwonDo. ular Latin dance moves. February 9. Elley-Long Music helps students improve watercolor or julia@petracliffs.com. Learn Center, St. Michael's College, techniques. the fundamentals ofsafe winter Colchester. Free. Register, travel over snow and ice using FERRISBURGH ARTISANS 'THE WAY OF THE SUFI': BEGINNING CONGA & 425-5954. Fun musical sessions crampons and an ice ax; glissading GUILD: Ongoing classes in Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. BurlingDJEMBE: Ongoing Wednesday encourage children 4 and under to and self-arrest techniques in an watercolor, welding, stained glass, ton. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Conga classes, 5:45-7:15 p.m. sing and play with music. alpine environment will be covered. pottery, kinder art, Saturday Sufi-style meditation incorporates Djembe classes, 7:15-8:45 p.m. FLYNN ARTS FEBRUARY BEGINNING ICE CLIMBING morning clay and more. Info, breath, sound and movement. Taiko Studio. 208 Flynn Avenue, VACATION CAMPS: Monday I: Saturday, March 2, 9 a m, 4 877-3668. Unleash your creativity MEDITATION: Sundays, 9 a.m. Burlington. $I2/ciass. Ongoing through. Friday February 25p.m. Petra Cliffs Climbing Cenwith top-notch instructors. - noon. Shambhala Center, 187 Friday intermediate conga class, March 1, Flynn Center for the ter, 105 Briggs Street, Burlington. FIREHOUSE CENTER FOR S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. 4-5 p.m. Call for location. Info, Performing Arts, Burlington. $85. Register, 657-3872 or julia@ THE VISUAL ARTS: Sign up Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors 658-0658. Stuart Paton makes Prices and times vary. Info, Info, petracliffs.com. Experience the now for classes in February and teach non-sectarian and Tibetan instruments available in this 652-4500 or wvvw.flynncenter thrill of outdoor ice climbing in a March including "Arts Education Buddhist meditations. upbeat drumming class. .org. Vacationing students in grades supportive atmosphere. Training for Artists & EducaGUIDED MEDITATION: BEGINNING TAIKO: Ongoing 1 through 8 channel abundant enerBEGINNING ICE CLIMBING tors," "Collagraph Printmaking," Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelbeginning adult class Mondays, gy and imagination into the arts. II: Sunday, March 3, 9 a.m. - 4 and "Lithography Workshop." burne Athletic Club, Shelburne 5:30 p.m. Monday youth class p.m. Petra Cliffs Climbing CenInfo, 865-7166. Commons. Free. Info, 985-222$^* 3:30 p.m. Taiko Studio, 208 ter, 105 Briggs Street, Burlington.

fiber

business

gardening

craft

health & fitness

martial arts

dance

aikido

karate

climbing

kids

art

meditation

drumming

february 6, 2002

SEVEN DAYS

page 31a

lasses

Continued from page 8b

etc

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: Awakening Center, Shelburne. Practice guided meditation for See February 6. $10/pre-register; $12/drop-in. relaxation and focus. sports ECO LECTURE: Dr. Robert Register, 425-4710. Students gain WEEKLY MEDITATION & SPINNING TO HEALTH: Letovsky discusses his recent pubenergy and inspiration with yoga at DISCUSSION: Tuesdays, 7Ongoing daily classes. Chain lication, The Race to Produce the a convenient Shelburne village 8:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books & Reaction, One Lawson Lane, World's Cleanest Car. Farrell location. Gifts, S. Winooski Avenue, BurBurlington. First ride free. Info, Room, St. Edmunds Hall, St. lington. Donations. Info, BEECHER HILL YOGA: 657-3228. Pedal your way to fitMichael's College, Colchester, 660-8060. The Green Mountain Ongoing day and evening classes ness in a diverse, non-competitive noon. Free. Info, 654-2535. Learning Center sponsors this weekly or private instruction and yoga environment. RELIGION LECTURE: session. therapy. Hinesburg. Info, 482Stephanie Kaza, ecofeminist and 3191 or www.downstreetMONTPELIER MEDITApresident of the Buddhist Peace support groups magazine.com/beecherhillyoga. TION: Ongoing Tuesdays, 6Fellowship Board, speaks on See listings in the WELLNESS Beecher Hill Yoga offers classes in 7:45 p.m. Community Room, "Practicing in Place." Farrell DIRECTORY in the classified Integrative Yoga, Yoga for Posture & Kellogg-Hubbard Library, MontRoom, St. Edmunds Hall, St. section. Alignment, Therapeutic Yoga and pelier. Info, 229-1787. Sit togethMichael's College, Colchester, Yoga-based Stress Reduction. er for Insight or Vipassana meditatai chi 7 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. BIKRAM YOGA: Ongoing daily tion sessions. DOUG RACINE TALK: The TAI CHI IN SHELBURNE: classes for all levels. 257 Pine Democratic candidate for GoverMondays, 7-8 p.m. and WednesStreet, Burlington. Info, metals nor answers questions on political days, 7:30-8:30 a.m. Shelburne 651-8979. A heated studio faciliSILVERSMITHING: Ongoing issues. 403 Lafayette Building, Athletic Club, Shelburne. $10/ tates deep stretching and detoxifying. Thursdays, 6-8 p.m., and UVM, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. each or $90/10-class card. Info, BURLINGTON YOGA: Fridays, 10 a.m.- noon. Upstairs Info, 656-3131. 651-7575. Beginner classes explore Ongoing daily classes, 156 St. theater space, Christ Church, 64 FATHERS AND CHILDREN balance, ease and awareness. Paul Street, Burlington. Prices State Street, Montpelier. GROUP: Dads and kids spend vary. Info, 658-YOGA (9642). $90/eight weeks. Info, 223-6568. quality time together during a voluntary Classes are designed to meet and Beginning or intermediate metal weekly meeting at the Family challenge students at all levels. workers get the basics, and more, of simplicity Room, Wheeler Community YOGA FOR VITALITY: creating with silver. VS DISCUSSION COURSE School, Burlington, 5-7 p.m. Saturday, February 9, 9 a.m. INTRODUCTION: Tuesday, Free. Info, 860-4420. 12:30 p.m. $45. Info, 985-4961. pottery February 12, 6:30-8 p.m. WEEKLY MEDITATION: Learn Sanctuary for Yoga and WellVERTICAL FORMS WORKCommunity College of Vermont, how focused thought can result in Being, Shelburne. Learn energizSHOP WITH DIANE ROSEN119 Pearl Street, Burlington. a "calmed center." Spirit Dancer ingyoga techniques using breath, MILLER: Saturday and Sunday, Free. Info, 865-4422. If you'd like Books, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. February 9 & 10, 10 a.m. - 4 to simply your life, live more with posture and guided meditation. Donations. Info, 660-8060. p.m. Shelburne Craft School, less and have more free time, check YOGA VERMONT: Astanga BASIC MEDITATION: classes every day. Jivamukti, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648 out the Vermont Earth Institute's Cherokee and Tibetan Buddhist Kripalu, Iyengar, Pre-natal, kids or www.sheiburnecraftschool .org. invitation to reed, discuss and practices help renew the body and & senior classes weekly. Chace Build it tali Learn hoiv to stack change. spirit. Ratna Shri Tibetan Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718 thrown, coiled and bottledforms. Meditation Center, 12 Hillside or www.yogavermont.com. Enjoy women Ave., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. a range of yoga choices, including psychology 'SPIRIT ROOT: WOMEN'S Info, 453-7318. astanga-style "power"yoga classes THE ART OF BEING WILDERNESS QUEST': Four that offer sweaty fun for all levels HUMAN — SHAMBHALA daylong local gatherings and sixof experience. TRAINING: Friday through day wilderness journey in the Sunday, March 1 -3, Karme Northern Green Mountains. Yurt Choling Shambhala Buddhist Class listings are $15 per Sanctuary, Ten Stones CommunMeditation Center, Barnet. ity, Charlotte. Info, 425-4710 or $190, includes accommodations info@earthislandexpeditions.org. and meals. Info, 633-2384 or music Women nourish their "wild souls"- week or $40 for four weeks. www.kchshambhala.org. Learn • Also, see listings in "Sound with yoga, expressive arts, feminine the basics of mindful meditation Advice." archetypes and wilderness sanctuary. and explore experience in a fresh KANDIA KOUYATE: The West All class listings are subject and unconditional way. African singer performs her interyoga pretations of traditional storyBRISTOL YOGA: Ongoing self-defense songs from Mande history. Astanga yoga classes, Saturdays to editing for space and style. Middlebury College Center for BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU AND 9:30-11 a.m. Sundays, 4-5:30 the Arts, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, CARDIOBOXING: Ongoing p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 443-6433. classes Monday through Saturday 5:30-7 p.m. Old High School, Send info with check or comfor men, women and children. Bristol. Info, 482-5547. This clasVERMONT MOZART FESTIVermont Brazilian jiu-jitsu VAL: The New York Chamber sicalform of yoga simultaneously Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlingworks balance, strength and flexibilSoloists perform with flutist plete credit card ton. Prices vary. Info, 660-4072. David Fedele and clarinetist Allen ity in a hot environment to steady Escape fear with an integrated self- the mind, strengthen the body andBlustine in a program of works defense system based on technique, free the soul. entitled from "Bach to Bernstein." information, including exact not size, strength or speed. First Congregational Church, SUNDAY YOGA CLASS: Burlington, 8 p.m. $22.50. Info, Sundays through February 17, singing 862-7352. 4:30-6 p.m. Yurt Sanctuary, Ten BURLINGTON COMMUNIname on card, to: Classes, Stones Community, Charlotte. TY CHOIR: Wednesdays, 6:30drama $10/pre-register; $12/drop-in 8 p.m. Community College of Info, 425-4710. Stretch your 'OVID: TALES OF MYTH & Vermont, Pearl Street, Burlingmind and body with yoga in a MAGIC': See February 7. SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, ton. $45. Info, 865-4422. very peaceful setting. 'SHIRLEY VALENTINE': See Explore a variety of music includ- VALENTINE COUPLES' February 7. ing gospel, folk, jazz and "world" YOGA RETREAT: Saturday, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. traditions. February 16, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. Yurt film Sanctuary, Ten Stones Commun'THE DEVIL'S BACKBONE': ity, Charlotte. $115/couple. Info, spirit See February 8. . * E-mail: classes@ 425-4710. Enjoy yoga, meditation CHAKRA CLASS: Monday DOUBLE FEATURE: A precopractices and a catered organic vegeevenings, March 11 through cious teen finds himself increastarian lunch in a nature sanctuary. May 13, 6:30-8:30 p.m. ingly drawn to a local pedophile sevendaysvt.com AWAKENING CENTER Pathways to Well-Being, 168 in L.I.E., 6:45 p.m. In If... stuYOGA/SHELBURNE: Mondays Battery Street. $l60/nine classes, dents stage an armed revolt at an through February 25, 7-8:30 $20/each. Learn about the human English public school filled with Fax: 865-1015. p.m. Wednesdays through energy system, how to heal vital predatory masters, 9 p.m. February 27, 7-8 a.m. Thursdays centers and bring more balance Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins through February 7, 7-8 a.m. into your life. Center, Dartmouth College,

Thank you!

^page

42a

SEVEN DAYS

february 6, 2002

Hanover, N.H. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art

° Also, see art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See February 6. LUNCHTIME TALK Professor Robert Bernheim presents an artinspired discussion entitled "Beyond the Pale: Jewish Life in Poland Prior to the Holocaust." Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 12:15 p.m. Free. Info, 656-0750.

words WRITING GROUP: See February 6. USED BOOK SALE: See February 11. 'TRAVELING UNCHARTED WATERS': Author William Storandt shares his memoir, Outbound: Finding a Man, Sailing An Ocean. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP: Habitual readers meet to discuss The Mambo Kings Sing Songs of Love, by Oscar Hijuelos. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7211.

kids STORYTIME: See February 6. 'TINY TOTS' STORYTIME: See February 6. STORY AND CRAFT TIME: See February 6. 'VALENTINES FOR YOUR VALENTINES': Kids get crafty and create their own original valentines at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 4-6 p.m.

etc BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See February 6. GAYME NIGHT: Bring a friend and a healthy spirit of competition to a night of Scrabble, Twister, Boggle, Scattergories and Pictionary. R.U.1.2? Headquarters, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 860-7812. ACTIVIST LECTURE: Authoractivist Bill McKibben joins Mayor Peter Clavelle at an info meeting on the Earth Charter. See "7 Selects," this issue. Champlain Valley Union High School, Hinesburg, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 482-3295. DENIS HALLIDAY LECTURE: The former United Nations Humanitarian Coordinator in Iraq considers that country a decade after Desert Storm. Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 7:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345, ext. 5. LANDSCAPE DESIGN WORKSHOP: Landscape designer Charlie Siegchrist offers practical advice on reaping what you sow. S. Burlington City Building, 6:308:30 p.m. $5-10. Info, 864-5206. Calendar

written

Sarah

Badger. Classes are compiled by George Thabault. All submissions are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. S E V E N DAYS edits for space and style. Send to: S E V E N DAYS, P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 . Or fax

802-865-1015.

E-mail:

calendar@sevendaysvt.com.

EVERY YEAR A R o U N P TMlS TlMB M Y BROTHER'S 6 H 0 S T PAYS M E A VlSlT.

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M A Y B E B E C A U S E I S E E HIM M O P E NOW T H A N W H E N H E WAS A L F V E .

A FRlENP OF M I N E HAS HER OWN 6H0ST.

S H E R E C o M M E N P S MAK1N6 NICE WITH

S O M E T I M E S X T E L L HIM To SHUT UP, BUT THAT NEVER HELPS.

BUT HER 6 H 0 S T IS o L P E R | M I N E STILL L 0 0 K S A S Y0UN6 A S THE PAY HE KiLLEP HIMSELF. THAN M I N E — M O R E MATURE. m

151

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THMKS

RED MEAT

hand-pumped silt f r o m the once-rich wellspring of humor "N

Milkman Dan...I have a law question. Do I have'ta pay another kid's doctor bill if I pushed him off the swingset and he got hurt, even though nobody else saw it?

As much as I'd like to, I can't legally advise you on such matters. I'm no longer licensed to practice law in the United States since I ran afoul of the 1995 Fischer-Richards Act.

from the secret files of

Ma* cannon It effectively prohibits private individuals and organizations from practicing "playground law" out of the back of a milk delivery truck.

You're lyin! You don't even know anyways.

Perhaps. But you ought to be nicer to the man who just tape-recorded your remorseless confession.

WAS !

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LLOYD

BORN

LLOYD

02-02-02/

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SEVEN DAYS i. :tililt..

page 1 1 b

ology

February 7-13

ARIES (March 21-April 19):

It's time to celebrate Return the Favor Week, Aries. Tell jokes to clowns and cook gourmet meals for chefs. Give crawling demonstrations to babies, sing to the birds, offer advice to the wise counselors you know and shout out blessings towards the sun to thank it for its ceaseless work in your behalf. I think you get the picture. Apply this principle in eyery way that you know how.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):

"Whatever it is," begins Louis Simpson's poem "American Poetry," "it must have/ a stomach that can digest/ rubber, coal, uranium, moons, poems..." I couldn't imagine a better metaphor for the work you're doing, Taurus. Your powers of assimilation are being tested to the max — both by the sheer variety and the unwieldy mass of the stuff you're absorbing. One thing's for certain: You'll be a more interesting person when this phase is finished. Bigger, too. I suspect a further reward will come a little later, a hint of which appears in a Robert Duncan poem: "Often I am permitted to return to a meadow.../ that is a place of first permission..."

Feelings that originate in the human genitalia are among the most powerful forces on earth. They have a complex relationship with the feelings that stem from the human heart: at various times, in competition or in harmony. Together these primal energies have forged and toppled empires; unleashed terrible and wonderful ideas; and spawned the greatest stories ever told. It's my belief that one of the supreme goals of spiritual work is to harness the sexual urges in service to the heart's wisdom. Mote than ever, Cancerian, you're ripe to discover the secrets of how to do just that.

LEO

1994, a rare white buffalo was born in Wisconsin. Native American tribes saw it as an omen heralding the fulfillment of a hopeful prophecy — the unification of the black, red, white and yellow races. N o w an equally miraculous event has occurred at an Omaha zoo: the virgin birth of a bonnethead shark. It was born to a mother that had not been near a male for over two years. This marvel signals the consummation of a prediction I made in 1990: the rise of a new breed of pure and virtuous businesspersons untainted by the macho "shark" type behavior that currently dominates corporate culture. Confidentially, Gemini, I expect your tribe to be at the forefront of this revolution. Cosmic portents say your

32 USNAgrad 34 "Buttons and Bows" singer married to Celtics player? 40 Learned 44 —-mo 45 Barley beverage or >n •

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

(July 23-Aug. 22): Citing a consensus of clairvoyants, the Psychic Reader's Kristin Miller prophesies that David Duchovny will romance Britney Spears in 2002. A "happy pill" will simulate spiritual enlightenment. Psychics will join the fight against terrorism. White hair will be the fashion rage. There'll be no California earthquakes. (Hooray! I live near a fault line.) Miller's most interesting prediction: Through breakthroughs in interspecies communication, humans will facilitate pets to write books for humans. If that's accurate, I bet Leo horse whisperers (and snake and cat and bird whisperers) will lead the way. The cosmic omens say your tribe has a burgeoning talent for communing with life forms you've never made intimate contact with before, including animals, departed souls, aliens, Pisceans, and attractive allies that were previously off your radar.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In

ACROSS 1 Craven or Unseld 4 Thurman of "Pulp Fiction" 7 Droop 10 Beatnik's abode 13 Reader's need 17 Part of 136 Across 19 — room 20 McKinley or Lupino 21 Actor Vigoda 22 Bread spread 23 "Basic Instinctactress married to comic? 27 Drill accessories 28 Utah city 29 Goddess of youth 30 605, to Cicero 31 Carpenter

ability to get richer quicker in the foreseeable future will grow if you infuse your ambitions with love.

Psychotherapists are sometimes called "shrinks," short for "headshrinkers." I refer to myself as a "scrub," an abbreviated form of "brainscrubbet." It's my job to clean out toxic sludge dumped in your psyche by bad teachers, treacherous lovers, neurotic friends and the news and entertainment industry. Here's how to tell if you need my services. 1. Are you analyzing yourself more than you're loving yourself? 2. Are your superhero fantasies often followed by super-loser fantasies? 3. Are you spending more time thinking about what you don't have than what you do have? 4. Are you prone to visualizing what you don't want rather than what you do want? (P.S.: Simply by asking these questions, I have offered you an important part of my service.)

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Congratulations! You have been selected to receive a FREE GIFT by the Prayer Warriors, a team of telepathic do-gooders. Our research has determined that you are a wise romantic fool with a beautifully broken heart and a kaleidoscopic soul. For mysterious reasons that are patently unfair, you have never actually collected all of the sweet, tender adoration you've earned. Which is where our FREE G I F T comes in. To claim it, simply go to sleep this evening as usual. During the night the Prayer Warriors will induce in you a dream of the smartest love you have ever experienced. When you wake up tomorrow you will know exactly what to do to raise your Love I Q by 20 points!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov.

21): English poet, essayist, and conversationalist Samuel Johnson (17091784) used to say that humans need

to be reminded more than instructed. I often have the sense that this is my greatest gift to you: not so much as a teacher, but as a friendly pest who pushes you to remember what you already know. Here's this week's memo: You inevitably feel most at home in the world when you penetrate surface appearances and rummage around for hidden truths in the depths.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov.

22-Dec. 21): "The eagle may soar high above the earth, but the beaver never gets sucked into a jet engine." Keep that epigram in mind as you diligently do your busy work in the coming days, Sagittarius. You may sometimes wish you could fly away from it all, but now is not an astrologically favorable time to do so. If you insist on indulging such counterproductive fantasies, your tasks will feel uninspiring, demeaning, and thankless. If on the other hand you accept the beaver as your temporary power animal, you'll be at peace with the understanding that you're laying the intricate groundwork for a great springboard. (P.S. Keep up the good work and the springboard will be ready by April.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-

Jan. 19): The Tarot card I divined for you this week is the Eight of Cups. Working from my teacher Paul Foster Case's insight into the card, I suggest you focus your attention on two tasks. First, identify your most important desires and visualize how to express them in their most beautiful forms. For instance, your sexual longing is likely to bloom in its full glory when it's directed towards a person who deeply understands you and treats you with respect. Secondly, the Eight of Cups exhorts you to brain-

Crossword

47 Charity 100 Doc 102 Start the 50 Heidi's laundry hangout 53 Noncon103 Galaxy formist glitterer 57 "Five Easy 104 Nosh Pieces" 105 Cornfield actress cry married to 106 Kind sports 108 Best wishes columnist? 111 "It's Too Late" singer 62 Quantity married 63 Actress to TV Verdugo producer? 64 Stocking shade 119 —Na Na 65 Investigate 120 "I — Rock" ('66 song) 67 Caviar 68 Plaid fabric 121 Hubbub 71 Pilfers 122 Refusals 74 Reverence 124 "Dies —" 75 Teller's 127 Pianist Lupu partner 76 Early sitcom 129 "Cheersactress actress married to married to golfer? pop artist? 80 Paper — 134"—Is My 82 Buck's Song" beloved (•67 hit) 83 Mets' milieu 135 Chicken — king 84 — quo 86 Taylor or 136 Private Torres ension undial 87 Sierra — numeral 89 Marmaduke has two 138 Place for 91 Slowly, to pews Solti 139 Shampoo 93 Madrid additive month 140 Mil. rank 95 'Tennessee 141 Delivery Waltz" singer truck married to 142 Hosp. V: cable employee - mogul? • 143 "See ya!"

^page 42a SEVEN DAYS

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

—

DOWN 42 Never 90 NCO 1 Used to be attained 92 Fido's 2 Return 43 Building wing dinner, address? perhaps 48 Welcome 3 Trauma 94 Puerto — item? aftermath 96 Math 49 Fright 4 Poetic pot subject 51 Orange 5 Engage, as 97"— never seed gears work!" 52 Handbag 6 Played a 98 Teacup part part part 54 Precursor 7 Bedding 99"— bien!" 55 Rock's — 101 Be in debt 8 Lyric poem Maiden 107 Nairobi 9 Sh river or 56"— Wolf native Dawber ('85 film) 109 Alphabet 10 Religious 58 Land quartet holiday 59 Drug buster 110 Producer 11 From the 60 Handles Spelling beginning 61 Salutes the 111 Magna — 12 Lion's lair moon? 13 Sampras 112 Menotti title 66 Defeat stroke character 69 General's 113 Chatter 14 Excuse helper box? 15 Gas gauge 70"— John B" 16 Prepared to £66 song) 114 Painter be shot Frida 72 Crank's 18 Cornered 115 Perfect comment the cat 116 Cambodia's 73 Insomnia 24 Bus starter? Lon — cure? 25 Sapporo 117 Internet 75 Flying sash acronym Pan? 26 Pitches 77 Home and 118 Maintain an 33 Attempt engine Olin 35 Fairbanks' 78 Actor 123 Cut a St. Fernando cuticle 36 Actress 79 Asian 125 Jezebel's Celeste river husband 37 Sheepish 80 Mr. 126 Begrudge fellow? Kadiddle128 Employ 38 Beethoven's hopper 129 Cul-de— "Fur —" 81 Reinforce a 130 Ullmann or 39 TV's "Father raincoat Tyler Knows —" 85 Place 131 Geologic 40 Actress 87 Regional division Sommer 88 Ike's 132 — rickey 41 Kingdom domain 133 Diocese

february 6, 2002

i;: storm about the wisest ways to satisfy each of your most Important desires. It's time, in -J other words, to shed all haphazard, half-hearted and insecure strategies for getting what you want.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

18): "We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves." So wrote French epigrammatist Francois de La Rochefoucauld. What he didn't say is that now and then there come times when it's actually pretty fun and easy to strip away our masks — even if they've gotten stuck to our faces. I'm happy to announce that this is one of those liberating moments for you Aquarians. Start stripping, baby. You won't believe how good it'll feel and how potent it'll make you.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): In medieval Europe, self-flagellation came into vogue as a religious practice. Practitioners believed that by scourging themselves for their sins, they cut down on the punishment they'd have to endure in the next world. It's a little known fact, but my sources indicate the innovators of this "shortcut to salvation" were Piscean monks in southern France. Then as now, your tribe was most likely, of all the signs of the zodiac, to hype the gain that comes from pain. But as much as I admire your capacity to capitalize on misfortune, I think 7 you'd be mistaken if you assumed that was the appropriate approach to take these days. What would be the opposite of self-flagellation? It's high time tofindo u t . You can call Rob day or night for

Brexsny, your

expanded weekly horoscope 1-900-950-7700 $1.93 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone, c/s 612/373-9785 And don't forget to check out Rob's Web site at mrtar Mr.freenrillastrology.com Updated Tuesday night.

last week's answers

• feng shui

CONSULTATIONS FOR homes, businesses, schools. Gift certificates available. Change your surroundings, change your life! Certified Feng Shui Practitioner Carol C. Wheelock, M.Ed. 802-496-2306, ccwheel@accessvt.com, www.fengshuivermont.com.

• general health

POTTERY FOR THE SOUL: In search of self? The meaning of life? The answers inside come out through clay. Beginners-experts welcome. Schoolhouse Pottery, Moscow. 253-8790. www.Herbspicetea.com, Ultimate on-line SOURCE for over 500 varieties of Gourmet Culinary Herbs, Spices, Teas, Botanicals, Extracts, Essential Oils, and Capsules at Wholesale Prices. Since 1969. (AAN CAN)

• hand pain relief

MUSICIANS, COMPUTER operators: Prevent & eliminate carpal tunnel syndrome, tendonitis, back pain; learn an effortless technique which coordinates your fingers, hands, arms. Gain accuracy, speed, power, ease. Alison Cheroff, master teacher, concert pianist. 16 years preventing surgeries, teaching virtuosity. Call 454-1907.

• herbs

www.Herbspicetea.com, Ultimate on-line SOURCE for over 500 varieties of Gourmet Culinary Herbs, Spices, Teas, Botanicals, Extracts, Essential Oils, and Capsules at Wholesale Prices. Since- ^ j - h 1969. (AAN CAN) r

• holistic vocal instruction FIND YOUR VOICE. Learn to sing with your entire being. Communicate fully and effectively when speaking. Allow your true self to shine through. Ann Hutchins, RK, 496-9234.

• hypnotherapy

HYPNOTHERAPY AND NLP offer much beyond quitting smoking or losing weight. You can truly design the life you love. NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer Douglass O'Brien 658-1205 @ Pathways to Well Being.

• massage

BETH YOUNG, Massage for Inner Peace. An extraordinary massage experience. Integrative massage and Shiatsu sessions. Gifts certificates avail. Burlington location. Call 846-2091. DUAL DIVINITY MASSAGE by Nena DeLeon, Judy Wolf and Jim Bright. Dual massage at $70/hr, $90/1.5 hrs. Single massage also available. MSun, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Call 865-2484 or 350-5172. TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 mins. of relaxation. Deep therapeutic massage. $50/sess. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Flex, schedule. Aviva Silberman, 872-7069.

• personal coach

LIFE COACHING: Empowering you to stop reacting to life and start choosing your life. "You must want it more than you fear it." Call me for a free sample session. Robyn Yurcek, CPCC, life coach. 655-0131.

• personal training CERTIFIED PERSONAL TRAINER: Finally, you can experience the rewards of reaching your fitness goals with an NSCA-CPT in a nonintimidating semi-private fitness facility. Call 879-3636.

• psychics

MALE WITCH. Psychic readings and counseling. Casting and removal of spells. Contact with spirits. Call 24/7. Tom 800-419-3346. Credit/Debit Cards. Get your lover back. (AAN CAN)

• support groups

STUDENTS AGAINST HARASSMENT AND ABUSE: Tuesdays, 7-8 p.m. Barlow St. Center, St. Albans. Info, 5248538. Share your story and learn ways to protect yourself in this support group for girls who have been harassed by other students. WIDOWS & WIDOWERS: Looking for persons interested in forming a support group for activities in the Burlington area. Info, 656-3280. "HELLENBACH"CANCER SUPPORT: Every other Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. Middlebury. Call to verify meeting place. Info, 3886107. People living with cancer and their caretakers convene for support. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS: Mon., 6-7 p.m. Wed. 6:458:30 p.m. Thurs., 7:30-9 p.m. Sat. 10-11:30 a.m. For info call Brenda at 9855655. BURLINGTON MEN'S GROUP: Ongoing Tuesdays, 79 p.m. Free. Info, 434-4830. Area men are invited to join this weekly group for varied discussions and drumming. COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS: Every 3rd Tuesday of the month, 7-9 p.m. Christ Church Presbyterian, UVM, Burlington. Info, 483-5319. People mourning the loss of children, grandchildren or siblings find help and support. PROSTATE CANCER: The second and fourth Tuesday of the month, 5 p.m. Board Room of Fanny Allen Hospital, Colchester. Info, 800-6391888. This "man-to-man" support group deals with disease. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 8632655. Overeaters get support in addressing their problem. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 8608382. Want to overcome a drinking problem? Take the first step — of 12 — and join a group in your area. AL-ANON: Ongoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First Congregational Church, N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 655-6512. Seven other locations also. Info, 860-8388. Do you have a friend or relative with an alcohol problem? Al-Anon can help. DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE: WomenSafe offers free, confidential support groups in Addison County for women who have experienced domestic or sexual violence. Please call 388-4205 for info. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various locations in Burlington, S. Burlington and Pittsburgh. Free. Info, 862-4516. If you're ready to stop using drugs, this group of recovering addicts can offer inspiration.

EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: Sundays, 3-4 p.m. Martin Luther King Lounge, Billings, UVM, Burlington. Free. Info, 363-9264. This two-step program is designed to help women with depression, negative thinking or any mental or emotional problem. SEX AND LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS: Sundays, 7 p.m. Free. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, Burlington, 05402. Get help through this weekly 12-step program. PARENTS OF YOUNG ADULTS USI-NG HEROIN: Educational support groups forming in Burlington. Free. Info, 859-1230. If you suspect your child is using heroin or other opiates, this group offers an opportunity to learn and strategize. BATTERED WOMEN: Wednesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. Burlington. Info, 658-1996. Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington. HEPATITIS C: Second Thursday of the month, 6:308:30 p.m. McClure MultiGenerational Center, 241 No. Winooski Ave., Burlington, Info, 454-1316. This group welcomes people who have hepatitis C, as well as their friends and relatives. BRAIN INJURY: First Wednesday of the month. 6 p.m., FDanny Allen campus, Colchester. Info, 434-7244. Survivors and caregivers welcome; expert speakers often scheduled. CEREBRAL PALSY: Support group for families. Bimonthly support and discussion group for parents, recreational outings for the whole family. Next event is a free swim at Racquet's Edge December 15, 3-4:30 p.m. ALZHEIMER'S CAREGIVERS: Burlington, meets at Birchwood Terrace, 2nd & 4th Wed., at 1:30. Colchester, meets at FAHC, Fanny Allen Campus, 1st Thurs. of month at 3 and 7 p.m. Shelburne, The Arbors, 2nd Tues of month at 10 a.m. ADULTS EXPERIENCING THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE: 2 Wed. evenings a month, First Congregational Church, Burlington. Info., 434-4159. ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE AND DEMENTIA FOR CAREGIVERS: Barre, meets at Rowan Ct, 4th Wed. of month at 3 p.m. Montpelier, 338 River St., 2nd Wed. of month at 7 p.m. FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF HEROIN USERS: 2nd and 4th Thursday every month, 67 p.m. at ACT 1/Bridge at 184 Pearl St, Burlington. Info, 860-3567. PARKINSON'S DISEASE: meets 1st Tues. of each month at the Heineburg Sr. Ctr, Heineburg Ave., Burlington. Lunch is avail, by calling 863-3982 in advance. WOMEN-HELPING BATTERED WOMEN: Mon. 5:30-7 p.m. Open to younger women 18-26 who have been or are currently being abused. Childcare provided. Call 6581996 for referral.

Jennie Miller, M.A.

Advertise Your Practice

802-985-3164

* Run 4 consecutive weeks and your 5 th ad is free

IN-HOME POSTPARTUM CARE • Breastfeeding Support • Emotional Support • Light Housekeeping • Sliding Scale

First Timers Special Call Josh Pombar @864-5684 or email classified@sevendaysvt.com

MOTHER'S N E S T • a doula service •

Nationally Certified Massage Therapist

7 Days Wellness Directory

Family First C&ifopractic P M t f w m f i J v rishaneinst, t W

Practice limited to male clientele GIFT CERTIFICATES ( M M AVAILABLE mm

CHANNELING

IVehvork S p i n a l A n a l y s i s 85 Prim Road. <*«ieWster, VT 05116 802 860 0382 1 Main Street CambrM.t?*, VT 05411802 644 2260

INNERm/ES Helping people heal H grtw by integrating traditional physical therapy with eoiaptementary healing, arts.

* Physical Therapy

05489 802.899-354*

SCo

* Resonant Kinesiology!

BY ATPOINTMENT 1 2 KELLY R D UNDEILHILL, V T

nth

Dr. A»t£e!o M a r i n a k i s « D r . C h r i s t i n e l e b i e e k i

BerniceKelman PSYCHIC C O U N S E L I N G

l i f t ' ttmwiij» i f

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE

William Coil 802-658-2390

q u a l i t y o f yam

«nd specific c h i r o p m t f o care

* Craniosacral Therapy * Lymph Drainage

Mindy L. Cohen M.S.P.T. Pathways to Well Being 168 Battery Street, Burlington, VT 05401 Phone: (802)862-8806

percent

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readers

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Downsized/Layoffs v Re-entry to Work Force v Coreer Changing Integrating People, </ Career Focus Interview Geography, * Job Search Systems Skills, Expertise, v Executive Resumes Experience and Life. v Medical CV's v Assessments Military-Work Trans. PARW Certified, v Work & Spirituality Vermont's First * Interview Coaching * Internet Secrets Call: (802)985-5351 * Working w/ Headhunted * Pro's/Con's to Resume Internet 145 Pine Haven Shore Rd * Posting v layed Off: Now What? Shelburne, VT v How to ask for a raise? 05482 * How to ask for a promotion? v How to know )f you're burned out?

CAREER COUNSELING

• rebirthing

ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. Embark on an inward journey to clarity and peace of mind through conscious connected breath. Individuals or groups guided by Martin Gil, 865-1035.

SE' cornpekLt

february 6 , 2 0 0 2

SEVEN BAYS

page 13b

Energy M

ROLFING

HeaUng^cuui

(Wages

| FREE INTRODUCTIONS

Craig D o n n a n

I Healthy Living | Natural Foods v I South Burlington

% Haimonize body, mind, and spirit..

• La Shane Therapy • Esalen • Shiatsu

JeSSry Galper, Ph.D., Advanced Certified RolSer Rolfing Associates, Inc., 865-4770 www.together.net/-vtrolSer

271 Cafcg: St Bwiingk* 802-598-1484

Back To Wellness Chiropractic Center Dr. Heather L. Diederich Providing effective quality care to achieve and maintain Specializing shoulder

c3 general

spinal

space available

to rent

Gift Certificates

for y o u r

mut

Sweetheart

this Valentine's . & [Ah

Day

BLYTHE KENT CERTIFIED PRACTITIONER.

802.8

BURLINGTON-

Advertise Your Practice R u n 4 consecutive weeks

and

y o u r 5 t h a d is f r e e

First Timers Special Call Josh P o m b a r @ 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 email

classified@sevendavsvt.com

7 Days Wellness Directory

Jennie Miller,

M.A.

802-985-3164 802-373-5030 EXPRESSIVE ARTS THERAPIST & REIKI PRACTITIONER Offering integrative counseling combining the arts with HEALING IN COMMON. RT.7 SHELBURNE, VERMONT

" .. '

Dr. Simon Frishkoff N atu ropathic r

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tiWW

Physi cian

Offering the best of both worlds—

modem

science and truly holistic medical

care.

• Pediatrics • Chronic Disease • Gynecology • Prenatal Support • Mental/Emotional Illness

Champlain Center f o r N a t u r a l Medicine 3 3 Harbor Road, S h e l b u r n e , VT (802) 9 8 5 - 8 2 5 0 • www.vtrMturalmed.etm>

^page

42a

S E V E N DAYS

f o r relaxation s t r e s s relief l_Jse T u d b o p e

february 6,

2002

T h e s e A r e Tense A n d Stressful Times For Over Twenty Years We Have Successfully Demonstrated Alternative % Techniques For Dealing:! With Stress And Tension. Call (802)223-8961 Ln Central Vermont To Schedule A Free Evaluation

M a s s a g e "["berapist (502) 859-9623

INVISIBLE H A N D S ENERGY A L I G N M E N T Non-Force, Non-Contact Stress Reduction

Christopher Berwick MASSAGE

THERAPY

Smoking Cessation Weight Loss Fears, Phobias, A n x i e t y Emotional H e a l i n g H Y P N O T H E R A P Y CAN H E L P

Shamonic

Training in Peruvian

863-6349

Betty Moore-Hafter Certified Hypnotherapist www.risingsunhealinff.com 802-860-7286

k Slain?

Find erapy

Relief? works!

, (Also far TMJ, PMS, Sciatica, Headaches to name a few) G i f t Certificates 33 ( W i l l i s t o n )

Tranquil Connection • H t l l J I l l U I U M

& the

Tradition

Coll Tom N e l s o n

male clientele

Healing

Counseling

Curandismo practice limited to

health

802.864.4959

WWl

565-1233

Reiki

headache.*,

187 St. Paul Street, Burlington, V T Professional

•Swedish

health.

in low back, neck e3 condition.*,

12 years experience L a u r a Luchini Certified massage therapist

| Fridays, 2 - 5 p m j

MASSAGE

C a l i f o mian

for info 182-4855

REBIRTHING M a r t i n Oil (802)

865-1035

This Weekend

Pullout Section i Inside

# A Party to Benefit \ ^ The ]azz-Mandplin Projegt ' # $12 in advance $14 day o f s h o w ^ - d r e s s Jo intrigue

# $i shuttle from Radisson beginning at 9 p m

#sdoors open at 8pm

ThelWomen's Rapi\Lrislยง Center SATURDAY,febVuaty 9th ## PEarly a r aafternoon d e begin? at 3(?m \ :^ pre parade festivities;

pick up beads & masks, ana, mail Parade , postcards from the\Mardi Gras Post 'Office I | # Catch beads, moon-pies, c a r r i e s a n d \ y ^ I Lake Chamlplain Chocolates \ \ Spec/d, # Follow the Parade up'Church V^*. \ S e j&r Street to a SoulfuI Groove /sTS^n)^ Dance Party with J ^ j M i

Hertz :

MWWMjF' /^SSSSJSf

specia thafiksto Burlington Police & Fire Departments, Chufoh Street Marketplace, CCTA, Higher Grolnd, Lake Champlain Oiocolates, PP&D and the Radisson Hotel

.is

check out www.MAGJCHAT.NET forlfull details

I !

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# 2HOURS * of free outdoor hip shaking, > feet stom pin'

c^turdau Winooski

O p m

JAZZ MANDOLIN PROJECT This iocai trio has gained international acclaim and |pf j f l R f l ^ ^ B s ^^giKkilliSft ^ a fan base that extends from coast to coast. With I s \ V & I their Blue Note Records H M j l ^ ^ debut, Xenoblast, jazz lovers will have a chance to experience what has I JSpfis brought legions of jam Illl^^^^^Bg^ band fans into the JMP I ts 'V^' j ^ f f ] music-fold that is at once p Wfw new and different, y v„ J^t„r „ Spy , : |j challenging and exhilarating, traversing genres with a blending of eclectic influences. — * Magic Hat Specials, ana Cajun Jambalaya

TICKETS $12 in advance $14 day of show

Hurricanes, await you.

40 FLOATS, 7,872 Moon Pies, 200,00c Jtrands of Beads and 13,600 pieces of Lake Champlain Chocolates.... the 7th Ainual - H^N M a g i c H a t U\ rdi G r a s mm^

A Party to Benefit The Womt s Rape Crisis Center

Line the Sidewalks, reach for trinkets and gaj in a stunned rapture as 40 phantasmic floats compete amid the r|tid roar of the crowd, Then follow the floats to footloose festivatior I"

Dress to intrigue and take yourl chance to be crowned j King and Queen 1

The Radisson Hotel will be running a shuttle to and from Higher Ground every half hour for $1 each way beginniing at 9pm.

Hey Parents!

South Winooski ave

Please keep fingers and toes away from the Parade Float Path

Garage

...soulful groove embedded in the roots of funk! If you have seen this band live, you know they will rip up Church Street brick by brick! D B B will be playing a free two hour set immediately following the last float (which happens to be the Magic Hat float). This block party is filled with energy and enthusiasm... and D B B is sure to make you break a sweat... yes outside in the middle of winter in Vermont Don't forget Your Designated Driver or Call Y E L L O W CAB 862-3400

START (g

Listen / Respect Our Volunteers.

and

Have a Great Time -Responsibly!

Search out this years

Stop by the % ARTIFACTORY (at Magic Hat) * for $ 1 0 o f f Ski Tickets to SMUGGLERS'NOTCH Consider a Donation to THE W O M E N ' S RAPE CRISIS CENTER

TIPS:

W R C C provides support to survivors of sexual violence in Chittenden County through a 24-hour hotline, advocacy services & education prevention. If you or someone you know has been victimized by sexual violence, please call the Women's Rape Crisis Center

SPREAD OUT! M a i n Street w a s sparse last year. Come D o w n t o w n EARLY, Use PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION as parking will be limited.

Disabled Viewing Mardi Gras Post Office

N O PARKING along Parade Route from 1 to 4 pm. Violators will be towed. The Magic H a t Mardi G r a s Weekend is made possible by our presenting sponsors

1067WIZN SEVEN DAYS

24-hour confidential hotline: 863-1236

^Igg^/

in front of City Hall

The Following locations will be selling

p Port-o-Potties

CCTA

BUS STOP

Judges Platform

1-800-489-7273(in VT)

NO PARKING 1-4 P m

with additional support I I I from Hertz Equipment Rental, Smugglers lyotchl Radissspn and Lake Champlain Chocolates j /

^REPRESENTS ROAD CLOSINGS at 2:30 p m

Mardi Gras Beads & Masks

in advance of Saturday's Parade | *Apropos *Lippa's jewelers * B e n & Jerry's *Monelle *Body Shop * Pearl Street Beverage | *Ecco * Magic Hat Artifactory j •Expressions * Mardi Gras Post Office l*3 Needs .

$5.00 each

100% proceeds to benefit WRCC

3rd Annual Rusty Nail '

Mardi-Gras-inthe-Mountain

THURS. 2/21

Evan Dan do

lead singer of the Lemonheads

sponsored by Corona & Captain Morgan FBI. 3/01

Bernie Worrell & the Woo Warriors

founding member of ParliamenttFunkadelic

SAT. 3/02

Strangefolk

| special encore

rnlLLO

GIVEAWAYSI Pei,fopmance Rusty Nail Special at Cajun served 5pmdishes 253-NAIL rustynailsaloon.com mountain rd. stowe

120

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STREET

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MAIN

BURLINGTON

l^achel

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the newest member of our team as a Junior Stylist. look)

(Extensive training at the right price)

8G2-1670 • T, TH, F 9-7 • W 9-5 • SAT 9-4

$18 for m e n / $ 2 3 for women

THAI CUISINE AT ITS BEST! Thai food combines the best of several Eastern cuisines; the oriental bite of Szechuan Chinese, the tropical flavor of Malaysian, the creamy coconut sauces of Southern India and the aromatic spice of Arabian food. Parima's Thai chefs, including the owner herself, blend an abundance of fresh ingredients including coriander, ginger, galangal root, chilis and lime kaffir to celebrate their Thai heritage in cooking. Our menu and weekly specials offer a variety of lightly cooked, colorful, sharply flavorful and nutritious dishes. The result is that of "Parima" excellence.

THE O R I G I N A L

& MOST

AUTHENTIC

THAI

RESTAURANT

185 P E A R L ST, B U R L I N G T O N • 864-7917 LUNCH M-F 11:30-2 DINNER FRI-SAT 4:30-10 5UN-TH 4:30-9

[ A Valentine s Day Gift to SEVEN DAYS readers... A Parima Coupon Punch Card! M M

OFF Li L

BEVERAGES

BUFFET

W/PURCHASE OF 1 OTHER BUFFET (MONDAYS ONLY)

APPETIZER W/PURCHASE OF 2 ENTREES ($7 M A X . )

FREE W/PURCI \

185 P E A R L ST BURLINCTON *• Limit one coupon punch per visit, valid Sunday-Thursday. Upon completion, fill in your name and number & enter it into our monthly drawing. 864~7917

•

monday at 5pm

phone 802.864.5684

fax 802.865.1015

email classified@seveficlaysvt.com

classifieds • EMPLOYMENT & BUSINESS OPP. LINE ADS: 750 a word. • LEGALS: Starting at 350 a word. • FOR RENT LINE ADS: 25 words for $10. Over 25: 500/word.

HOTEL JOB OPENING Continental Breakfast Server/Shuttle Driver: FT & PT, Set up & take down breakfast area, restock & clean. Drive hotel shuttle. Clean driving record needed, able to handle multiple tasks, friendly attitude & enjoy dealing w/public.

Good Wages & Benefits Offered A p p l y to:

• ALL OTHER LINE ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25: 300/word. • DISPLAY ADS: $17.00/col. inch. • ADULT ADS: $20/col. inch.

Group buys for display ads are available in regional papers in VT. Call for details. All line ads must be prepaid. We take VISA, MASTERCARD & cash, of course.

NORWICH UNIVERSITY F o u n d e d in

1819

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT - ALUMNI AFFAIRS Support our Alumni Center - coordinate events; process expenditures; maintain database; prepare, proof, and file d o c u m e n t s ; a n s w e r p h o n e s ; a n d w e l c o m e visitors. Requirements: high s c h o o l d i p l o m a , Associate's o r Bachelor's degree preferred, and two years of relevant office experience. Skill in w o r d p r o c e s s i n g , database m a n a g e m e n t , a t t e n t i o n t o detail, c u s t o m e r service orientation, and initiative required. Submit cover letter a n d r e s u m e to Alumni Administrative Assistant Search, H u m a n Resources, Norwich University, 158 H a r m o n Drive, N o r t h f i e l d , VT 05663 o r via email: jobs@norwich.edu.

Best Western Hotel 1076 Williston Road

Norwich is an Equal Opportunity Employer offering a comprehensive benefit package that includes medical and dental coverage, group life and long term disability insurance, flexible spending accounts for health and dependent care, a retirement annuity program and tuition scholarships for employees and their family members.

So. Burlington

C S P Residential Treatment C o u n s e l o r Energetic, responsible, individuals needed to join our team working in a residential program for adults who are considered to have mental illness. Full-time position with full benefit package. Bachelor's degree and related Human Services experience preferred. Residential Mental Health Clinician Compassionate and responsible individual to work in an intensive mental health residential treatment program for adults. Part-time day position with excellent benefits. BA/BS in related field, plus experience. Familiarity with behavioral treatment plans preferred. Substitute Residential W o r k e r s Substitutes needed for all shifts including sleep and awake overnights working with adults who are considered to have mental illness.

Come join a progressive company with great benefits (FREE SHIFT MEALS), competitive pay and an awesome working environment. * FRONT DESK A G E N T FT, some days, mostly Eves and Week-End shifts * MAINTENANCE FT, days, eves SC weekends. Abie to lift 50+ibs,Valid drivers lie., snow sc trash removal, general repairs. • BELLMAN FT, eves and weekends, able to lift 50lbs sc valid drivers lie * GUEST HOUSE CLEANERS sc ADULT CREW LEADERS Saturdays only, 9am-4pm Excellent benefits available after Intro period, for FT,YR positions such as medical, Dental, Life/disability, 401k, vacation/sick, etc. All employees get use of Fitness ctr / pools/tennis/X-cntry skiing, discounts on food, retail, massages « more. Apply To: Trapp Family Lodge, HR, PO Box 1428, Stowe, VT 05672 Ph: 802-253-5713 Fax: 253-5757 or hr@trappfamily.com E.O.E

Come join our team! Lund Family Center helps children thrive by serving families with children, pregnant or parenting teens and y o u n g adults and adoptive families. We currently have an opening for:

I N F A N T T E A C H E R : full-time, year round position collaborating with other teachers to enhance and enrich the days of children ages 2 wks-18 months. Qualifications: minimum AS in Child development or related field, 2 years experience working with young children, cooperative team experience and a commitment to lifelong learning. We are looking for warm, caring dedicated individuals with a passion for working with children and families. Lund offers a competitive salary and benefits package* Members of diverse ethnic and cultural groups are encouraged to apply. Criminal background check required. NO P H O N E C A L L S P L E A S E . Please submit your resume and three written references by February 15, 2002

Resumes to: Lis Mickenberg T h e H o w a r d Center for H u m a n S e r v i c e s 300 F l y n n A v e . Burlington, V T 05401

Lund Family Center

by February 20 Individuals with disabilities are encouraged to apply

Human Resources Administrator This is a newly created position in our company! Duties will include payroll processing, benefits administration, interviewing and hiring,

employee communications and training,

retirement plan administration and more. Successful candidate must be proficient in Word and Excel,

have a working knowledge of labor law, experience with payroll and human resources administration. Must have excellent written and verbal

communication skills. This is a position for someone

who loves both people and numbers! If you can work

independently, enjoy challenging projects and would like to work in a fast paced, international

manufacturing company with technical people, this is a position for you. College degree and prior

Human Resources/Payroll experience required.

Excellent benefits include 401k, health, dental, disability, cash profit sharing

and more

Please send cover letter and resume to:

NRG Systems, P.O. Box

IMRG Systems

Hinesburg, email:

Inc.

ACCOUNT

VT 05461

hr(a>nr^systems.com

www.nrgsystems.

com

EXECUTIVE

Montpelier Area Imagistics is committed to being the leading independent provider of enterprise office imaging and document solutions. W e provide worldclass customer support, service and satisfaction, thus building value for our customers, shareholders and our employees. W e have excellent opportunities throughout the Vermont area. 1-3 years prior sales experience. Candidates must be confident in their ability to create a successful sales career with Imagistics and possess excellent communication, interpersonal and PC skills. History of success in competitive endeavors. W e provide salary plus commission, paid training, liberal benefits including educational reimbursement, 401 (k) plan and much more. To apply forward your resume to 802-860-3905 EOE

509 o

Tim Houston Infant/Toddler Coordinator Lund Family Center 76 Glen Road Burlington, VT 05401

NORTHEASTERN FAMILY INSTITUTE

NFI, an expanding statewide mental health treatment system for children, adolescents and families, is seeking to fill the following positions: • Live-in mentor • Full and/or part-time Community Support individual/s

A unique new program is currently being designed to assist a 13 year-old male, in Shelburne, Vermont. NFI will provide the housing, the support staff, and a generous compensation, with ample time off. We are looking for you to provide creativity and structure in this home This position is ideal for you if you like working with adolescents, can work as part of a team, and are looking for a work environment with flexible hours. To become part of this exciting and new program, call Beth Relyea NFI-VT @ 878-5390, ext. 26 or email question/resumes to brelyea@nafi.com MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF A CHILD!

february 6, 2 0 0 2

SEVEN DAYS

page 31a

<0*

DreamMaker

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR

Bath & Kitchen K » v-v IS a j ft' i

A Few opportunities for a Few Good people! Locally owned Bath and Kitchen Company Seeks sales, Management, and technicians for positions in the exciting home improvement industry. Send resume to 802-865-0002 or call 902-865-9276 for information.

s Immm> Vermont's alternative

webweekly

Teaching Skills for a Better Life ADMINISTRATION DIRECTOR Responsible for directing, budgeting & administering the finance, health services, maintenance, logistics, food services & purchasing departments. Must have a strong background in financial analysis and budget administration as well as proven management & supervisory experience. Afed responsible to act as contacting officer to ensure contractual obligations with the US D O L are met. Acts as an advisor in planning for future operations and center expansion including facility and budget expansion. Oversees five direct report staff. Must have a BS/BA in business, finance or accounting, a MBA is preferred. Knowledge in contract administration, fiscal analysis and procurement practice required.

DORMITORY MONITORS Responsible for the operation of assigned d o r m i t o r y area a n d s u p e r v i s i o n o f s t u d e n t s a s s i g n e d w i t h i n . M u s t h a v e H i g h S c h o o l d i p l o m a o r G E D a n d a t least o n e y e a r w o r k i n g w i t h y o u n g p e o p l e i n a s u p e r v i s o r y capacity.

LPN \

Applicants m u s t have s o u n d n u r s i n g t e c h n i q u e s a n d ability to relate t o at risk y o u t h t o assist i n t h e m e d i c a l c a r e a n d t r e a t m e n t o f

| the students o n center. Responsible for c o n d u c t i n g cursory examin a t i o n a n d p h y s i c a l s , assist i n t h e e v a l u a t i o n a n d t r e a t m e n t o f s t u d e n t s d u r i n g sick call, p e r f o r m s p h l e b o t o m y p r o c e d u r e s , a n d |

administering specific medications a n d notes times a n d a m o u n t s on patients' charts. M u s t have a high school d i p l o m a plus a V e r m o n t L P N license. O n e years experience preferred.

HEALTH OCCUPATION INSTRUCTOR P r o g r a m a d m i n i s t r a t o r r e s p o n s i b l e for c l a s s r o o m a n d h a n d s o n i n s t r u c t o r (clinical a t a n a c c r e d i t e d n u r s i n g h o m e ) i n o u r L N A p r o g r a m . M u s t h a v e c u r r e n t R N l i c e n s e a n d o n e y e a r clinical e x p e r i e n c e i n h e a l t h care field. N o w e e k e n d s o r e v e n i n g s ! • Great Benefits and Compensation • Flexible Schedule(including nights and weekends) • Part Time and Full Time Opportunities • 100% Tuition Reimbursement for Full Time Employees

For information contact: Human Resources 100A MacDonough Drive Vergennes, VT 05491 (802) 877-2922, ext 209/210 stoddj@jcdc.jobcorps.org

^page

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february 6, 2 0 0 2

R.U.I.2? Community Center of Burlington seeks an EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR with a clear commitment to the Igbtiqa community and the mission of the Center. An experienced leader with strong communication and public relations skills will supervise and manage the daily affairs of the center, its personnel, and diverse programs. Working with the Board of Directors, the ED will help to develop the organization's annual budget and fundraising strategies, spearheading much of the outreach and development efforts. This position will serve as the point person for general membership, public inquiries and all media contacts. The executive director will work with the committee coordinators to manage the center's programs and volunteers. Familiarity with the Igbtiqa community, and a Bachelors Degree in a related field are required for this position, Masters Degree preferred. Deadline for applications: February 15. A full job description can be found on our Web site at www.rul2.org

community center

Submit resume and letter of interest to: R.U.12? Community Center c/o ED Search PO Box 5883 Burlington, VT 05402 or electronically to: mary@rul2.org.

R.U.I.2? is an EOE employer. Minorities encouraged to apply. R.U.I.2? Community Center is a charitable organization that serves the needs of the Igbtiqa communities.

H i f P P f

J M I D I

burlee

Burlee.com - We're one of the Internet's fastest growing companies, utilizing the best technology available to provide Web and Application hosting services to clients from around the globe. Our newest data center is one of the finest in the industry - and our people are even better. Discover what it's like to work hard, make something real and be proud of what you do. Currently, we are looking for strong candidates in the following positions: Web Site Designers Senior level positions available for creative Web site designers with exceptional skills and portfolio. Ideal candidates have project management skills and experience with delivering estimates, mock-ups, modifications, and final creative on Web projects. Must lead, develop, and deliver creative on team e-commerce, B2B, and B2C projects.

Experienced Win2K/NT

Administrators

Specific skills include: Domain/ Active Directory implementation, IIS, ASP, DNS, Exchange, MS-SQL Server, SMS, Windows Scripting Host with VB or Perl. System/ API programming exp. preferred. DBA experience a plus. MCSE and/or other certifications highly desirable.

Customer Service Representatives Night (3rd shift) & weekend customer service and tech support. Basic familiarity with customer service helpful; TCP/IP and networking, server hardware, NT4, Win2k, Linux knowledge a plus. Training provided. If you're interested in joining our challenging, fun and progressive workplace, please email your resume to employment@burlee.com.

Agency Coordinator

5 PEOPLE NEEDED

Women Helping Battered Women Consensus-builder needed to provide leadership in a feminist organization that provides crisis services to survivors of domestic violence. Our most senior staff position, the Agency Coordinator is responsible for managing all aspects of the organization's operations. Candidates will be accomplished non-profit professionals with domestic violence knowledge and experience. Five years management experience in a multi-program environment with excellent leadership, resource development and operations management skills is required. Cover letter and resume to: WHBW PO Box 1535 Burlington, VT 05402. CaTI 658-3131 for details. W m m M m,unmirnm n

We are expanding our

applications for full and

product line & marketing strategies. Need 5 individuals interested in attaining management positions. If qualified average $ 4 0 0 - $ 5 0 0 per week while training.

part-time employment. We provide training.

Earnings opportunity of $450 to $650 per week to start.

If you are ready to start work immediately

call: 802-476-8648 or fax resume to

802-476-7768

College students welcome

women are encouraged to apply.

K n o w when to hold 'em.

FULL & PART-TIME COUNTER POSITIONS AVAILABLE • flexible schedule • $7.50/hour + tips Contact us at 802.872.2616 Please ask for Tom, our manager.

Call Monday 11AM-6PM only for interview.

BAGEL MARKET 30 Susie Wilson Rd. Essex, VT 05401

Call 802-476-8648

S H A R E D LIVING PROVIDER

Vermont Center for Independent Living

Statewide housing provider based in Montpelier needs a professional to fill a challenging position administering housing assistance payments contracts for projects located throughout Vermont. Duties include a variety of monitoring,

Development & C o m m u n i t y

occupancy & field obligations. Must be able to work independently & possess excellent

Relations Coordinator Vermont Center for Independent Living 30-37.5 hours per week/ Montpelier Office

organizational & strong interpersonal skills. Sensitivity to the needs of a diverse public a must.

Statewide disability rights organization is seeking an

individual to manage development & community relations

Degree plus two years experience in housing management, preferably in public or subsidized

& public relations activities, fundraising & supervision of staff. Must have strong administrative, management,

organizational, fundraising, problem solving, communication

& interpersonal skills. Personal experience with a disability

housing. Position requirements 8c details at www.vsha.ora.

letter by February 15, 2002 to: Personnel Coordinator,

Vermont Center for Independent Living, 11 East State Street, Montpelier, VT 05602.

and affirmative action

employer. We provide reasonable accommodations

in the

recruitment and employment of persons with disabilities.

Seeking a n individual o r couple t o o p e n their h o m e in E n o s b u r g o r s u r r o u n d i n g a r e a t o a 17 year-old m a n w i t h a d e v e l o p m e n t a l delay. This y o u n g m a n enjoys animals, video games, b o w l i n g , a n d a variety o f o t h e r f u n activities. Ideal a p p l i c a n t should b e caring, c o m p a s s i o n a t e , h a v e experience w o r k i n g w i t h adolescents, b e able t o set g o o d limits a n d w o r k well w i t h a team, a n d h a v e n o o t h e r y o u n g children in their h o m e . Stipend a n d s u p p o r t provided: Please call 868 3523 ext. 231 o r s e n d letter of

Send cover letter & resume to:

and knowledge of ASL helpful. Send resume and cover

is an equal opportunity

SEVEN DAYS

We are taking

People of color, lesbians, people with disabilities and formerly battered

VCIL

MANAGEMENT TRAINEES

HR VSHA 1 Prospect St. Montpelier, VT 05602-3556. Or email sara@vsha.org Position open until filled. EOE

interest a n d r e s u m e to: NCSS Attn: Nikki Brisson Children & Family Services 14 First St., Suite 6 S w a n t o n , VT 05488

COORDINATOR OF THE WOMEN'S CENTER

The Baird Center for Children and Families

Saint Michael's College Invites applications and nominations for the Coordinator of the recently established Women's Center. The Coordinator will oversee the daily operations of this student based center and will work to continue the expansion of the Women's Center as a viable and reliable source of information, resources, encouragement and support to all, especially female, students, faculty and staff at the College. The Coordinator will report to the Provost/Vice President for Academic Affairs and will work closely with, and chair the Women's Center Advisory Committee.

A Division of the Howard Center for Human Services

Ideal candidates will have a Bachelor's degree and plan to enroll In a Master's program at Saint Michael's College for the upcoming academic year. Candidates must be self-motivated, effective leaders with dedication to women's issues. Experience with program planning and web design preferable. For a complete job description and information about the Women's Center, please visit www.smcvt.edu/WomensCenter. Review of candidates will begin February 22, 2002 and continue until the position Is filled. Send nominations or current resume with three references to:

SAINT MICHAEL'S COLLEGE

Attn: Elizabeth Green (The Women's Center) Chair Women's Center Search Committee Office of Human Resources Saint Michael's College One Winooski Park Colchester, VT 0 5 4 3 9 AA/EOE

EARLY CHILDHOOD MENTAL HEALTH CONSULTANT Full time position available in Early Childhood Mental Health Program providing consultation and case management to families with young children and their childcare providers. Knowledge of mental health, child development and childcare programs, and experience with family outreach necessary. Master's Degree in social work, counseling, or education required. Please send cover letter and resume to Gail Rafferty, Early Childhood Program Coordinator.

SCHOOL SOCIAL WORK OPPORTUNITIES Seeking experienced, school social workers with MSW for an immediate opening in our partnership with the Colchester School District. This full-time position is based at Colchester Middle School serving students and their families struggling to find success with school. Knowledge and skills needed include experience with schools, home-school coordination, family outreach, consultation, and strong collaborative abilities. Send cover letter and resume to Catherine Simonson, School Services.

THE BAIRD CENTER FOR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES 1110 Pine Street, Burlington, VT 05401 (802) 863-1326 bairdjobs@howardcenter.org

• • • • ••

••••••••••••••4

february 6, 2 0 0 2

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N P R E S C H O O L D I R E C T O R / T E A C H E R S <f >m< PT. Beginning Fall 2002 for NAEYC accredited ^ Christian preschool. Bachelors degree in ECE/CD or ) related field and experience with 3-5 year olds < required. Send cover letter, resume and three ) references to: | Good Shepherd Preschool < P.O. Box 495 ^ Jericho, VT 05465 < C o n t a c t Laura M e y e r a t 878 4127 \

Lang Mouse O

Organic Greenhouse Work S e e k i n g F u l l - t i m e staff f o r c r o p w o r k , h a r v e s t i n g , sorting, & d e l i v e r y .

M-F, 9 : 0 0 a . m . - 2 : 0 0 p . m .

Ma»n S t r e e t

h e l p u s c a r e f o r o u r b e a u t i f u l |nn.

Housekeepers

w a n t e d f o r V i c t o r i a n )nn. I O - Z O h o u r s p e r w e e k , m i d - m o r n i n g s h i f t . R e l i a b l e s e l f s t a r t e r s with h a p p y o u t l o o k p l e a s e call ^ J l - Z J O O

Flexible schedules.

Call 425-3959-

CHARLOTTE CENTRAL SCHOOL Cafeteria Assistant Needed

SOVERNEX VERMONT'S

SOVEREIGN

CONNECTION

SoVerNet is looking for help in our Customer Service Center. Applicants should have strong

PART-TIME. M A T H ILDITOR/LA5

D I R E C T O R

( J n i c j u e o p p o r t u n i t y t o a s s i s t in

D u t i e s include: f o o d prep, serving, c l e a n - u p .

customer service and phone skills and a

t e x t b o o k d e v e l o p m e n t a n d lab c e n t e r

A s m i l e a n d pleasant d e m e a n o r required!

background in technical sales and support.

coordination. /Ajgebra teaching a n d / o r

Send a resume to hr@sover.net or

t u t o r i n g e x p e r i e n c e required; ability t o

C a l l S a n d i e L a B o n t e @ 4 2 5 - 2 7 7 1 ext. 1 5 1

fax it to 802-463-2110

work i n d e p e n d e n t l y , g r a n t writing e x p e r i e n c e , creativity, a n d t e l e p h o n e skills p r e f e r r e d . 1 0 - 2 0 h o u r s p e r week; $ i 0 - $ 2 0 p e r hour. R e f e r e n c e s required.

Export Administrator

Garden Writer/Editor

C o n t a c t David after ? A M at

8/8-66+1.

This is a key administrative/customer service position with great challenge for the internationally minded candidate. Qualified candidate will share responsibility for order processing, domestic and international invoicing, export documentation, shipping, and some customer service. Candidate must have excellent organizational skills, attention to detail and ability to work under pressure. Strong PC experience in Windows is necessary. Must be able to use spreadsheets and other accounting programs. High degree of motivation required, experience and/or college degree preferred. Excellent benefits include 401k, health, dental, disability, cash profit sharing and more. Please send cover letter a n d resume to: NRG Systems,

N RG Systems

P.O. Box Hinesburg, email: www.

Inc.

Interested? Send resume with cover letter to Randee or come in and fill out an application at: 128 Intervale Road, Burlington, Vermont 05401 or via e-mail: randeeg@gardeners.com

509 VT 05461

hrfinrzsystems.com nrgsystems,

ardener's Supply Company, a n employee o w n e d c o m p a n y , is A m e r i c a ' s # 1 c o n s u m e r d i r e c t s o u r c e of i n n o v a t i v e g a r d e n i n g p r o d u c t s . We are seeking a G a r d e n Writer/Editor to oversee a n editorial p l a n t h a t provides t h e g a r d e n i n g information, editorial content a n d p r o m o t i o n a l copy n e e d e d for all o u r m a r k e t i n g a n d m e r c h a n d i s i n g c h a n n e l s . You will p r o v i d e a w i d e v a r i e t y of w r i t t e n m a t e r i a l , i n c l u d i n g g a r d e n i n g articles, p r e s s r e l e a s e s , e d u c a t i o n a l m a t e r i a l s , c u s t o m e r profiles, p r o d u c t copy a n d n e w s l e t t e r s . As c o n t e n t m a n a g e r f o r o u r w e b sites, y o u will w r i t e , edit, a n d m a i n t a i n t h e site t h r o u g h our content m a n a g e m e n t system. W e r e q u i r e 5 y e a r s of p r o f e s s i o n a l e x p e r i e n c e w r i t i n g c o p y o r e d i t o r i a l c o n t e n t . You m u s t b e a n avid g a r d e n e r with a horticultural degree or e q u i v a l e n t e x p e r i e n c e . A n o t h e r m u s t is I n t e r n e t savvy; HTML e x p e r i e n c e a plus.

com

p R D E N E I ^ V S U P P L Y

C O M P A N Y

V T

www.gardeners.com

Northeastern Family institute

Northeastern Family Institute, an expanding statewide provider of mental health treatment services for children, adolescents and families, is seeking to fill the following position:

RADISSON HOTEL BURLINGTON

Residential Counselors Seeking Residential Counselors to work at our Residential programs. Work with a talented team in a fast-paced environment. Experience working with children with emotional and behavioral challenges desired. Full-time, benefited, competitive salary.

Awake Overnight Counselor NFI is seeking benefited Awake Overnight Counselor for its Residential Programs. Experience working with children and adolescents desired. Full time, benefited, competitive salary.

If you are interested in any of the above positions, please call Dave Melnick at 878-5390 ext. 602

18b

S E V E N DAYS

february 6, 2 0 0 2 jtj>'Jb., u • i't*SU

Breakfast Cook This full-time position is a great opportunity for the experienced high volume breakfast culinarian! Benefits available after 90 days, which includes health, dental, vision, holiday pay, discount room nights and more! join our dynamic hotel team by applying at the hotel Monday-Friday 9am-5pm. EOE

DRIVER/SERVICE Premier Catering, a major purveyor of meals and services to the airline and rail industries, currently has opportunities in our Flight Service Department. The successful candidates will be dependable, flexible and customer-oriented. Early morning, day and evening shifts available, FT or PT. We provide competitive wages, medical insurance, paid holidays/vacations, 401k plan, meals & uniforms. To apply please contact: Ms. Wilcox Premier Catering @ (802) 862-1819 or apply in person at 271 Aviation Ave. S. Burlington EOE

Planned Parenthood Northern Adirondack Planned Parenthood, Inc.

Medical Office Assistant (Part-time) P l a n n e d P a r e n t h o o d seeks part-time (28 hours p e r w e e k ) c u s t o m e r - f o c u s e d individual t o p r o v i d e m e d i c a l office s u p p o r t in our f a s t - p a c e d P i t t s b u r g h facility. Must h a v e excellent customer service focus a n d o r g a n i z a t i o n a l skills. High s c h o o l d i p l o m a or G E D required. M e d i c a l office e x p e r i e n c e preferred. E v e n i n g s e x p e c t e d . W e offer a c o m p r e h e n s i v e salary a n d benefits p a c k a g e . For c o n s i d e r a t i o n , a p p l y b y F e b r u a r y 11, 2002 to: Director of O p e r a t i o n s & H u m a n R e s o u r c e s Northern A d i r o n d a c k P l a n n e d Parenthood 66 Brinkerhoff Street P i t t s b u r g h , N Y 12901 (518) 5 6 1 - 0 6 0 5 EOE

• employmen

Convert

Phone Surveyors

Honie

WEB PROGRAMMER

Would you like to work In a relaxing home-like atmosphere in an elegant retirement home in downtown Burlington? Part-time / Per diem nurses/ or nurses aide*) with medication experience for the night shift. Also seeking nurses aid for evening eJ weekends (part-time) If interested, contact Anita at 862-0401.

Develop and manage websites for a busy interactive agency. Knowledge of PHP, HTML, mySQL, Perl & Javascript.

o o k i n g f o r an 0 ^

WWW.SHARKCOMM.COM j SHARK COMMUNICATIONS W0RK@SHARKC0MM.C0M j 209 BATTERY STREET BURUNGTON, VT 05401

FAET-t ADMINISTRATIS

Manager/Receptionist.

^ e n d resume t o K ° b i n f^usso

•

TO-'box 6+709

£>urlington, V T OJ+O6 or fax to S60-\0\

B A R T E N D I N G SCHOOL

NfT

T h e Intervale Founda*? part-time (20hrs/wk) as clerical and ' * J >' Please send resume and cover letter to:

f u l l b e n e f i t p a c k a g e a n d c o m p e t i t i v e wage,

f i e i n d e l and f\joyes

State Farm Insurance 1350 Shelburne Rood, Suite 145 South liurlington, VT 05403 (802)-865-0222

RESUMES, NO CALLS TO:

£>usy scientific c o m p a n y in T u r l i n g t o n c e

If you are looking for a great part-time opportunity with a flexible work environment and pay based on performance. look no further. We are seeking individuals with energy and enthusiasm. Please call to schedule an interview.

ADAM !

SHERMAN

INTERVALE: C O M P O S T

1-888-854-4448

2 8 2 INTERVALS ROAD BURLINGTON, VT (802)

1 Training & Manuals 1 Certification 1 Job Placement

05401

660-4949

WWW.fNTERVAtE.ORG

www.bartendingschool.com

j T

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR ADItlSOX COUXTY ( 0 > l > H M T V TRUST Addison County Community Trust is a non-profit organization with more than a decade of service in affordable housing development and land conservation. The Trust is seeking a new executive director to lead art experienced staff of three from its headquarters in Middlebury. The successful candidate will have a strong background in housing development, and experience in housing management, grant writing, and organizational skills management. The director is responsible for overall management and administration of the corporation, including staff supervision and development, project development, financial management, and public relations. The Trust offers a salary of $35,000 to S40.000 plus health and vacation benefits, depending on the qualifications and experience of the successful applicant. Jjetter of application and resumes will be accepted through February 2S, 2002. References are required. An information packet with complete job description and highlights of the work of the Trust may be obtained by calling S02-3SS-')OSO.

Please direct applications and resumes to: Search Committee Addison County Community Trust P.O. Box 256 Middlebury, VT 05753

How's Selling These Days? Telecommunications companies come and go these days. One day they're riding high, the next day they're a penny-stock. Service and quality are often compromised in the turmoil. The sales cycle follows the roller coaster ride and so much effort is wasted. Get off the roller coaster Get a career at Caleidoscope, Vermont's Authorized Verizon Agent! Verizon is one of the world's leading providers of communications services and is dedicated to providing high-quality service to its Vermont customers. Caleidoscope is an authorized Verizon Agent Headquartered in Burlington with offices in Waterbury and Rutland. Caleidoscope's goal is to use our contacts, expertise and passion for our industry to assist businesses with their telecommunications needs. For over 15 years, Sales Agents have enjoyed training, access to leading edge technologies and the opportunity to earn the highest commissions in the industry. Right here in Vermont! If you're a telecommunications professional who wants to grow an excellent and steady income in a stable and rewarding career, then take a look at Caleidoscope. We're hiring industry-experienced professionals. High commissions and great benefits, Mail resume 1 Mill Street, Box A-13, Burlington, Vermont or e-mail to sales@mycaleidoscope.com

€ 7 C E N T R A L V E R M O N T MEDICAL C E N T E R , INC.

DARTMOUTH-HITCHCOCK ALLIANCE

RN Surgical Services Are you interested in joining our OR team? We have a part-time position, 64 hours biweekly, on the day shift available immediately. Current VT license is required and 1 year of general hospital nursing experience as well as some OR experience is highly preferred. This position requires working a call schedule with some other members of the team, which averages 4-5 times per month. For further information about work and on-call schedules, and clinical aspects of this position, please contact Karin Morrow, Director of Ambulatory Nursing Services at (802) 371-4354. As a member of our OR team you qualify for our flexible benefit program that offers options including health, dental, vision, disability and life insurance. You will also be 'able to participate in our tuition assistance plan and generous paid time off accrual program. We offer a competitive salary, credit for past relevant experience, as well as shift, weekend, and holiday differentials and a short notice incentive. Please submit resume or a completed application and skills checklist to: Bob O'Donnell Human Resources Department Central Vermont Medical Center PO Box 547 f Barre, VT 05641 Fax: (802) 371-4494 www.cvmc.hitchcock.org EOE

J 4tmr

€ R C E N T R A L V E R M O N T MEDICAL C E N T E R , I N G J K . DARTMOUTH-HITCHCOCK ALLI ANCE

Emergency Department RN (Night - 12 Hour Shifts) >

Central Vermont Medical Center has a full-time night position for an RN to join our Emergency Department Team. 2-4 years experience in Emergency Department including cardiac care and trauma is preferred. Position involves 6 shifts, 72 hours per pay period with full-time benefits. Shift is 7 PM - 7 AM and requires working every other weekend. ACLS, TNCC, PALS & ENPC preferred, but not required. Our benefits package includes a flex benefit program with options for health, dental, vision, disability, and life insurance, as well as a very competitive paid time off program and tuition reimbursement plan. We offer a competitive salary, shift and weekend differentials, short notice incentive and unscheduled shift premium pay. For additional information you may contact Linda Libby. in the E.D. at (802) 371-4272. Please submit completed application and skills checklist and/or resume to:

- Bob O'Donnell Human Resources Department Central Vermont Medical Center PO Box 547 Barre, VT 05641 Fax: (802) 371-4494 '

www.cvmc.hitchcock.org EOE february 6 , 2 0 0 2

SEVEN DAYS

page

<14-

v y y

^ftiamj^pi

> employment

Brochures Business Cards Event Programs

S E V E N DAYS

design graphic design

Etc. 864-^684

services:

255 South Champlain Street - Wed. thru Fri

PRESCHOOL TEACHER Licensed child carc ccnter seeks an cnergetic, creative full-time prcschool teacher. Experience, BA in earlij childhood education preferred. Competitive pay and benefits.

h i You

Center serves approximately 35 children ages i2 mo. - Kindergarten in a fun, lively atmosphere with caring teachers and supportive parents. Substitute teachers are also encouraged to apply.

BEADY FOR lire REXT

Hail, fax or email a letter, resume and three written references to: AbbyFlsh, Executive Director, Hunger Mountain Children's Center, 123 South Main St., Waterbury, Vt. 05676. P: 502-244-5544. F: 502-244-7694.

LEVEL? SPIKE ADVERTISING We are a small and intimate

E1HnCC@p5hift.com.

PART-TIME WORK, FULL-TIME PAY

20 HRS EARN $350 40 HRS EARN $750 College Students, retirees, Home-makers, etc. should apply. EOE

Call (802)476-8648

GENERAL HELP Manager Opporunity

PREP PERSON

• P/T - $200/week • F/T - $400/week To start call

PERMANENT PART-TIME POSITION

FLEXIBLE HOURS E X P E R I E N C E A MUST GOOD WORKING

Monday-Saturday

creatively distinctive work, lb serve more clients without compromising one iota of

FULL-TIME

10AM-6PM

P L E A S E A P P L Y IN P E R S O N 123 C H U R C H ST.

This is your opportunity to start a career with M a i l

802-476-8648

DESIGNER/PRODUCTION ARTIST

Boxes Etc., the nations largest franchiser of business a n d postal services. Requires retail experience,

EOE

Ybu are a Mac-literate,

CONDITIONS.

BURLINGTON

outstanding customer service skills and a willingness to work hard. Competitive wages. Photoshop, Quark and Illustrator:

Afternoon & Saturday hours. A p p l y in person: M a i l Boxes Etc., Taft Corners, Williston 8 7 2 - 8 4 5 5

Fax: 8 7 2 - 8 2 5 5

Your background is in advertising, graphic aits.

MAIL BOXES ETCT ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE/ PROJECT MANAGER Ybu are a Mac-literate, media-sawy AE who has been

Audubon

Please shoot us an

seeks Instructors and Interns for our summer camp programs:

Day Camps in Huntington,VT • Ecology Day Camp • Preschool Nature Camp

Residential Camps in Brandon,VT

with your resume and three

efforts mall that you do, don't appl we'

VERMONT

• Youth Camp room & board provided •Take PAR.T. • Mountain Journeys For more information please call the

Green Mountain A u d u b o n Center

N TED

Are

802

434-3068

pe°p'e pers°n?

SEVEN DAYS

n e w s p a p e r

If so, we are looking for cashiers for our busy, fun and locally-owned supermarket. At this time we have many part-time positions and one part-time stock clerk position available. We offer a challenging and supportive work environment for our staff. Scheduling is flexible and there are absolutely NO late night shifts. S V , Great opportunity for anyone with a family. Competitive wages and benefits available. \>e Please call Brad, Kevin, Steven or Sara for more information at 985-8520

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SEVEN DAYS

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Where the good employees are. Check out the employment ads in 7D Classifieds

• employment

BARTENDER: Looking for positive, energetic people to make up to $20-$60/hr Bartending in a fun and exciting environment. No experience necessary. Call 800-806-0084 x 23. (AAN CAN) BARTENDERS: Up to $250 per shift. We will train you and provide job listing. Call National Bartenders Network today. 7a.m.-7p.m. (PST). 1-800-509-3630 ext 282. (AAN CAN) CAN YOU FIX CARS? Bourne's Texaco is looking for an apprentice auto tech. Training avail. If you have desire and some tools call 658-6460. CERTIFIED AEROBICS and yoga instructors wanted. Call 893-3878. DO YOU LIKE PEOPLE? Cashiers, FT/PT. $7.75 (evenings), $8.25 (overnights). Start immediately. Flex, hours. Bourne's Service Center. South Burlington. 658-6460. DRIVER'S: Leonardo's needs drivers ASAP. Great hourly rate. 1160 Williston Rd. EXTRAS/ACTORS- Up to $100 - $500 a day! All looks needed. We are open 7 days/week to get you working with the stars. Call now! 1-800-260-3949 ext. 3025. (AAN CAN) GOLDSTAR DRIVING CO. is now hiring drivers 18 & over. Earn $20 per hour, all shifts available. (734) 968-1429, (888) 203-1584 or (517) 914-0432. (AAN CAN) HOME BASED B U S I N E S S ! ! Our son comes to the office every day. Earn $$$ part/fulltime. Free info. 800-881-9315, www.behome4happiness.com. MINORITY WRITERS WANTED: The Academy for Alternative Journalism, supported by alternative papers like this one, seeks experienced minority journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University's Medill School of journalism, Chicago. Ten writers will be selected for the eight-week residential program, which is designed to recruit talented minorities into the alternative press and train them in the techniques of magazine-style feature writing. Participants will be paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances. For information visit the Web site at http://med i 11, northwestern .edu /aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism c/o Lesa Lee, Medill School of Journalism, Northwestern University, 105 W. Adams Street, Suite 200, Chicago, IL 60603. (AAN CAN) PHONE SURVEY WORK. No sales involved. Weekday evening hours, 5-8 p.m., opt. Sat. $8/hr plus bonus incentive. Call 657-3500. SPEEDER & EARL'S on Pine Street is looking for a parttime, morning barrista. Apply in person at 412 Pine St, Burlington. TEACH ENGLISH ABROAD. 4-week TEFL Training Course. Train in Barcelona or Prague for $1500. Guaranteed job in Eastern Europe. Lifetime job assistance worldwide. Contact ITC: info@itc-training.com; www.itc-training.com (AAN CAN)

VERMONT CENTER FOR Crime Victim Services, Training Coordinator: Seeking experienced trainer to create and deliver exceptional training with partner agencies concerning best practices, rights, responsibilities, programs and current issues in victim services. Familiarity with criminal justice and victim services preferred. Excellent communication and organization skills a must. 40 hr/wk. Some travel required, resume and cover letter by Feb. 22 to Judy Rex, VCCVS, 103 S. Main St., Waterbury, VT 05671-2001. 1-800-750-1213, 1-800845-4874 TTY. EOE, survivors of crime and persons with disabilities encouraged to apply.

VILLAGE PUMP HOUSE seeks experienced bartender/front of house, PT. Apply in person. Shelburne Village.

• work wanted

COMPANION FOR ELDERLY person. Light house keeping, shopping, some meal prep. Info at 863-5217. DO YOU NEED HELP? Caregiver/companion avail. Exp. and licensed. Call 655-7053. HIRE A HOUSEKEEPER with heart. For info, call 863-5217. ODD JOBS: Trash removal, snow shoveling, roofs, walkways, wood cutting, carpet cleaning, demo work. Page Troy Slack at 802-482-8330 or 644-6572.

• assisted living

ASSISTED IN HOME CARE in the comfort of your own home for elderly, new mothers and those recuperating from illness. Prof, dependable, convenient and affordable. Full range of personal care services including companionship, meals, etc. Free tax prep. Home Care Helpers, 802-864-5999.

• announcements

$$CASH$$ Immediate Cash for structured settlements, annuities, notes and accident cases. 877-N0TES-31 (AAN CAN) CONGRATULATIONS Greg and Darren on the One Year Anniversary of your Civil Union! Best Wishes on many more! The AZZ Frat. INVENTORS-PRODUCT IDEAS WANTED! Have your product developed by our research and development firm and professionally presented to manufacturers. Patent Assistance Available. Free Information: 1-800-677-6382. (AAN CAN) SHORT ON CASH? Bad Credit? No problem! $1000 until payday! Call today, cash tomorrow. ONE HOUR PHONE APPROVAL. 1-877-64MONEY/24 hours/7 days. (AAN CAN)

• real estate

20 ACRE REPO! Take over $89.82 payment. Save $1,000! Only 30 miles east of bustling El Paso, Texas. Roads, surveyed, money-back guarantee. 1-800-843-7537. http://www.sunsetranches.com (AAN CAN) MARSHFIELD, VT: Farmhouse and ownership share in land co-op. 187 ac. of woods and fields. Land has been farmed organically. Located 12 mi. from Montpelier. Interested in co-op living and land stewardship required. $99,500. Call 426-3482.

BUYERS BE AWARE Considering buying a home or land? Get the facts! Call or email me, or visit my website. 802.482.5500 John@VermontUnRealtor.com

• business opps

$40K to $70K Yr. Potential! Data entry: Process medical claims. No experience needed. Will train. Full training. Computer required. Call today! 1-888-314-1033 Dept. 352. (AAN CAN) YOU DECIDE THE HOURS, no more daycare! No more commuting! Earn extra $$$ PT/FT. Free information. CJ-HomeBiz.com, 888-256-8310. (AAN CAN)

www.VermontUnReahor.com

JOHN M<QNNIS EXCLUSIVE BUYER'S AGENT

• office space

ACTORS WANTED for "Suburbia Burning," a feature length movie. Open casting, Sat., Feb. 23 at Memorial Aud. Contact Matt at 734-2397. WANTED: Southern women living in VT for once-a-month lunch or supper club. Call Amy at 893-3878.

BURLINGTON: 2 wonderful offices available for massage therapists or other healing practitioners. First floor, renovated century-old building in excellent location by YMCA and library. Shared waiting area, kitchen area and bath with shower. $250/mo. and $350/mo. Call 862-8008. BURLINGTON: Waterfront, affordable and healthy environment, Main Street Landing. Call 864-7999.

• lost & found

• space for rent

• bulletin board

$1000 REWARD. No questions asked. 2 black Tenba camera bags (1 w/blue trim), 1 Canon EOS I0S-A2E (black) 35 mm camera, Sony Cybershot digital camera, Sony Mini DVD video cameras, zip lock bag of change. Please help. I am a young artist; were stolen from my car Sat. 2/2 on Winooski Ave., in front of Salvation Army. My cameras are my life and inside the bag was 6 mos. of work. This is irreplaceable. Any info please call 802-865-2009, or call 347-731-1136. FOUND: BOOK OF CD's, Higher Ground parking lot, 1/24. Call 862-0182.

BURLINGTON: "The Space" for rent at Battery Space Jeans for conferences, meetings, workshops, and dance, karate, yoga classes. High ceilings, very open, great exposure. Reasonable rates. Call 865-4554 or 865-6223, ask for Lori or Michelle.

• space wanted

GREATER BURLINGTON: Small office space suitable for massage therapy. Call 434-4447.

• housing for rent BOLTON VALLEY: 2-bedroom, 2.5 bath townhouse. Fireplace, cathedral ceiling, 3 decks, trails out the back door. 30 min. to Burlington/ Montpelier. $1300/mo. Call 434-7773.

BURLINGTON: 1, 2 & 3-bedroom apts. Close to downtown. Off-street parking, gas heat, on bus line. Avail. 2/1 and 3/1. Rent starting at $600-$ 1000. Call 864-4449. BURLINGTON: 1-2 bedroom duplex, quiet, close to downtown. W/D avail., enclosed sun porch. Avail, now. $825/mo. + dep. and utils. Call 878-6010, Iv msg. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom apt., South End, Hill section, quiet, parking, flex, lease. Avail, now. $900/mo. Call 864-7126. BURLINGTON: 3-bedroom, $1150/mo. 2-bedroom, $765/mo. No smokers, avail, now. Call 305-336-1001. BURLINGTON: 4 room, 2nd floor apt. 24 Decatur St. Avail now. $685/mo. Call 862-4613. BURLINGTON: Nice 4-bedroom apt. Gas heat, HW, parking, W/D. No smoking, no party animals, no pets. Avail. 6/1. $1600/mo. + utils. Call 658-2578. BURLINGTON: Sunny house, 3-bedroom, 2 bath, W/D & DW. Newly renovated. Offstreet parking, river views, on busline. 6/10 mile to FAHC/UVM. Walk across bridge to Winooski. No smokers or pets. Available now. $1350/mo. + utils. Lease/ deposit required. Call 878-9507. BURLINGTON: Unfurnished apt, downtown, large 1-bedroom, renovated, off-street parking, heat and HW included, attached porch, no pets/ smoking. Avail, now. $750/mo., refs required. Call 203-457-0028. HUNTINGTON: Lovely 3-bedroom house w/huge deck overlooking babbling brook. Woodburning stove and white hardwood floors in master bedroom. Huge living room with vaulted ceiling and tile floors. 30-minutes from Burlington & Montpelier. Avail. March 1. $1000/mo. + util. Call 802-434-4319. RICHMOND AREA: Got a 4WD? Are you a dependable M/F? Can you chop wood? Small, well-equipped cottage. $1200/mo. + utils. PAB, PO Box 4133, Burlington, VT 05406. WINOOSKI: 1 bedroom in newly renovated 3-bedroom apt. A must see apartment! Must be pet friendly. Friendly pets welcome, W/D, off-street parking. $330/mo. + utils. Call 655-4507. WINOOSKI: 2-bedroom, very clean, eat-in kitchen, 3-season sun porch, fenced-in yard, non-smoking, dogs negotiable w/references. $925/mo. Call to see 654-8567 WINOOSKI: The Woolen Mill "Vermont's Most Unique Apartments". Spacious loft style apartments offering exposed brick and beams, river views, professional onsite management. Pool, racquetball court and health club included in rent. Studios, 1, 2, 2 + loft, parking. No pets. Call M-F, 9-5 for more information. (802)655-1186.

• sublets

BURLINGTON: Feb.-May. One room available. Good location, close to downtown/ UVM. W/D, 3-car garage, 2 full bathrooms, no pets. $400/mo. Call ASAP. 951-1698

• housing wanted CHITTENDEN COUNTY/ Central VT: Mature, prof, couple looking to rent a clean 12 bedroom house w/yard in country setting. Looking to rent around the end of March or beg. of Apr. Please call 951-2587.

WESTFORD AREA: Seeking group living situation to join/ create. Kindness, dirt road, sunlight, some shared meals, gardens. Have cat. NS, ND, minimal alcohol. Call 635-9245.

BURLINGTON: Share 2-bed- r room house, close to UVM, S parking, W/D, DW, prof./grad. preferred, NS. Avail. 3/1. $650/mo. + 1/2 utils., heat and water included. Call Beth at 233-6181. BURLINGTON: Students preferred. Nice house. Nice neighborhood in North Burl. On lake,laundry, kitchen, busline, bike path, backyard, beach. $500/mo., utilities included. Call 865-1703. BURLINGTON: Sunny, Ig. bdrm., off-street parking, nonsmoker, near UVM. No pets. $365/mo. + 1/3 elec., phone. Call 658-3138. BURLINGTON: Upbeat, prof. M/F wanted to share bright, sunny, spacious 2-bedroom apt. W/D hardwood floors, close to waterfront downtown. $440/mo. + utils. Call 658-1368.

• room for rent

BURLINGTON: Furnished clean, quiet, off-street parking, laundry, cable, shared kitchen/bath. No smoking/ pets. $450/mo. includes all. Call 862-3341. BURLINGTON: WEEKLY RENTALS. Fully-furnished, full bath, cable tv, fridge and microwave, maid service. Free local calls, walk to grocery store, on bus line. Call 862-5786. ESSEX. JCT: Looking for NS person to rent room in quiet, spacious ranch home. Kitchen privs, cable, W/D. $490/mo., includes all utils. Call 872-5884 or e-mail pdaigle56@aol.com.

E S S E X JCT: Charming country farm house. 1 spacious room, avail, immediately, $430/mo. 1 mid room, avail. 3/1, $350/mo. No smokers/dogs. Both include utils. Call 288-8155, ask for Glenn, Iv msg. 343-8073 (cell). GRAND ISLE: Location, location, share 2-bedroom, lake shore house, farm setting, 2 mi. from ferry. $400/mo. + 1/2 utils. Call 860-2388 (days) or 372-3404 (evenings).

• vacation rental

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL: Sunny, 5-star resort, 1-bedroom, sleeps 4, full kitchen, living room, Jacuzzi, extensive pools, playground and family activities. Near golf and spa for adults. May 3-10. $900. Matt or Heather, 651-1072. KEELER BAY, S. HERO: Lake front lodge, all comforts, option packages. Can accommodate large parties. Booking rentals for summer 2002. Memorial Day thru fall foliage. Call 802-372-4581. ST. THOMAS/USVI: 1-bedroom villa with mini kitchen, sleeps 4. Close to beaches, golf and horseback. Avail. Apr. 6-13. $1050/bo. Call 863-8605. TOBAGO, land of the hummingbird. 1-bedroom cottage, beaches, Buccoo Reef snorkeling, scuba, rain forest. $275/wk. Call 802-685-3022.

• housemates

ALL AREAS: GreatRoommate.com. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.GreatRoommate.com. (AAN CAN) BURLINGTON: 1 roommate wanted to share house with 4 other profs, for at ieast one year. Off-street parking, must be clean, no pets. Avail, now. $400/mo. + utils. Serious inquiries only. Call 864-3255. BURLINGTON: Clean, NS, non-drinker in quiet house. * Gay M preferred. Must be reliable. $425/mo., includes utils. Call 864-7187. BURLINGTON: GLBT friendly M/F to share spacious 2bdrm, attic, screen porch, offstreet parking. Quiet neighborhood near UVM/downtown. No slobs, pets, smokers. Available March 1st. $425/mo. + 1/2 utils. Heat included. Call Nate at 865-9872. BURLINGTON: Large bedroom in 2-bedroom house. Quiet street, near lake. Seeking responsible, friendly person or couple. Pets OK. $450/mo. + utils. Call David at 860-7462. BURLINGTON: Red Rocks beauty. Share beautiful, large furnished home in the woods with access to shops, steps from Red Rocks park and the lake. Private bed/bath, Jacuzzi, parking and W/D. $600/mo. + utils. Call 864-0605. BURLINGTON: Share 2-bedroom apt., downtown. Heat, water, parking, W/D, digital cable, garbage included. Avail. 2/1. $500/mo. + 1/2 electric. Call 660-9379 or 660-99.11, ask for Sean.

february 6, 2 0 0 2

JERICHO: Mellow prof, seeks two more to share nice house. Large yd, fireplace, W/D, hdwd firs. Close to town & skiing/hiking, walk to swimming holes. $500/mo. + 1/3 + dep. Call 899-4947. MALLETT'S BAY: Looking for open-minded, pet-loving, nonsmoker to share 3-bedroom condo with 2 males in their 20's. $325/mo. + 1/3 utils. Call Eric @ 233-2575. N. FERRISBURGH: Share a house 25 min. from Burlington. Yard, garden, woods and river. $325/mo. Call 425-7135. S H E L B U R N E : 4-bedroom house, quiet, convenient ^ neighborhood. Use of master bedroom w/own bath and all house amenities incl. cable, garage, etc. Dogs welcomed. NS. $550/mo., incl. utilities. Call 985-2182. TIRED OF HIGH RENTS and slummy apts? Consider living with an elder for low rent in exchange for 10-15 hrs of weekly chores. Call HomeShare Vermont at 863-5625, or visit www.homesharevermont.org. EHO.

• entertainment

SPIRIT OF ETHAN ALLEN is seeking entertainers for our 2002 summer sailing schedule. Seeking 1 or 2 person entertaining acts to perform a variety of theme cruises on a Lake Champlain cruise ship. Call 862-8300.

• dating svcs.

ARE YOU SINGLE...tired of empty promises? We won't make any. Finding the right person is not easy, but we can help. Take 30 seconds and decide for yourself. Call 651-7660 or visit www.beinloveagain.com. COMPATIBLES: For 15 years we have helped single peopie make there dreams come true. Now more than ever, we would like to help you.. Call us at 872-8500 or www.compatibles.com. SINGLES CONNECTION: Professional and intelligent dating network for singles. Bidirectional matching. Lifetime memberships. Please call (800) 775-3090 or www.ne-singles.com. Helping you get connected.

SEVEN DAYS

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> services • furniture • auto • professional services EVER THOUGHT ABOUT being a model? Female models, age 15 - 30 needed for a variety of assignments. Good opportunity to explore the possibilities of modeling as a career. Call Dave at David Russell Photography, 651-9493 for more information. HOUSE CLEANING: Call Partners In Grime, 864-7187. PERSONAL ASSISTANT: Experienced, dynamic professional now accepting new clients in Burlington area. Call for list of services, resume, references and rates. 355-2013 (days), 658-8282 (evenings). PROF. ANTIQUE FURNITURE restoration. 27 years exp. Harrington Antiques, 496-2826.

energy services HYDRO, SOLAR POWER Green Electricity SOUR GREENHOUSES Year-round Produce Design and Installation Earthbound Energy Services 802-865-4259

turtleisleaJpshift.com

• photography

ROCK'S PHOTOGRAPHY: Reasonable rates. Weddings, on location portraits, special events, commercial, pets. Call for appointments, 802-879-4553 or e-mail: lcrock@attglobal.net.

• financial

BE DEBT FREE. Low Payments, Reduced Interest. Stop Collector Calls, Stop Late Fees. Non-Profit Christian Agency. Recorded Message 800-714-9764. FAMILY CREDIT COUNSELING www.familycredit.org (AAN CAN)

• daycare

LOOKING FOR QUALITY Christian childcare? In my S, Burlington home. 8 a.m. 5:30 p.m., Mon. - Fri. Interviewing for infant/toddler care 2/17-2/23. Call Jackie at 951-5790.

• pets

2 BEAUTIFUL sister cats: Mickey and Duffy for adoption (6-yrs-old) from a wonderful family environment to yours. Please call at 223-7491 if interested. CLAIRE'S DOG CAMP. Board your hound at camp, not the kennel. Heaven on Earth dog fun. Fields, pond, woods, pond, walks, farmhouse accommodations. Call 888-4094.

• buy this stuff

AFFORDABLE, CONVENIENT, Wolff Tanning Beds. Low monthly investments. Home delivery. FREE color catalog. Call today: 1-800-711-0158. www.np.etstan.com. PORTABLE DISHWASHER. Great condition, like new, great price. Must sell. Call 951-2587, ask for Jenny .

• free

CAT: 6 YO, neutered male needs a new home with no young children, and room to roam. Wary of strangers but with time will become a "cuddlepuss". Likes larger dogs, sunny window sills, and long naps at your feet. Has all shots. One month supply of food, dishes and toys will be provided. Please call 865-1013 (days) or 4966659 (evenings).

• furniture

BED: Pillowtop mattress, box and frame. Never used, must sell. $290. Cell phone, 598-0316. FUTON: Full-size, solid oak, 6' mattress, new in box. Cost $745, sell $350. Call * 802-734-0788.

• music for sale

AD ASTRA RECORDING as featured in the March 2001 issue of EQ magazine. Relax. Record. Get the tracks, website: www.adastrarecording.com Call 872-8583. BANJO 5-STRING OME Juggernaut II. Gold plated, engraved. Great bluegrass banjo, w/ HSC. $1650 Will deliver. 518-562-8682. D J E M B E S ! DRUMS (from Guinea, Ivory Coast, Mali). Djundjuns, Krin, Congos, Bata Drums, skins, rings and reskinning. Djembe rentals $30/mo. Call Stuart Paton at 658-0658.

GUITAR: Gibson ES355 Lucille, Cherry finish, w/HSC. Sweet! $1750 will deliver. Call 518-562-8682. GUITARS: Fender Stratocaster, hard case, $275. Washburn acoustic w/electric hook-up, hard case, $400. B.C. Rich Beast, NJ series, amazing hard rock/metal guitar, hard case, $780. 233-2133. ROLAND VS 1880 18-track, brand new, digital hard disk recorder w/2 VS8F-2 stereo effect boards. $1800. Call Joel at 802-527-1311. SHEET MUSIC WANTED: Do you have sheet music sitting around? I will pay per song for single sheet pricing. Will also buy complete books for a reasonable price. Call Max at 865-1023 (day) or 860-3992.

• music services

ATTENTION: MUSIC PROMOTERS! Established concert venue for rent. Heartwood Hollow Galleries Stage in Hanksviile, VT. 35+/- min. from Burlington, Middlebury and Montpelier. Superior acoustics, pine walls, ceiling and stage. Plenty of parking, town and state permitted. Legal cap. is 83 indoor and 40 outdoor seating. Avail, with or without house sound and/or sound tech. Call Seeds of Song at 238-0065 for availability, Iv msg. CD DUPLICATION: Major label quality, rock bottom prices. No jobs too big, no jobs too small! 100 CD's from $85.00. 1-866-274-DISC. www.vertigodisc.com. (AAN CAN) WANTED: Session players, all styles for various projects. Call 802-363-1867. www.newmusicreporter.com. Getting your music to the ears of industry. Call 323-465-3475, 323-465-3672. (AAN CAN)

• musicians avail

• musicians wanted ATTENTION ORIGINAL bands. Submissions are being accepted for the 2nd annual Block Island music fest. For complete details on the fest and submissions check www.blockislandmusic.com. ATTN MUSICIANS: multidimensional players wanted. Bassist/Stick player, keyboardist, multi-instrumentalist (fiddle, etc.) for street-wise, higher calling, dance, funk project. Rehearse in Plainfield, all visionaries call 454-1549 for info. DRUMMERS, MUSICIANS & the rhythmically inclined are sought by Sambatucada!, a Burlington based Brazilian Carnival-style percussion group. Practice with the group for three hours once a week. Learn the intricate rhythms, the dance steps, wear crazy attire, and most importantly, have a blast. Join now and perform by Spring! No prior experience is necessary. Call Emery, 899-2422 or write to vemoore@gmavt.net. GUITARIST AND KEYBOARDIST NEEDED to complete band. Original songs ready to go. CD's completed. Adventurous mixture of pop and rock styles. Other instrumentalists welcome. Jeff 658-9657/Adam 363-8898. LOOKING FOR BASS Player, electric/acoustic and keyboardist. Reading skills, must be able to play various styles and have good improv skills. Call 872-0544.

• music instruct.

CONGAS, DJEMBE, bata and taiko. Do your hands hurt when you play? I can help. Call Stuart Paton at 658-0658. GUITAR: All styles/levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar/ Grippo, etc.), 862-7696. GUITAR: Berklee graduate with classical background offers lessons in guitar, theory, and ear training. Individualized, progressive approach. I enjoy teaching all ages/styles/levels. Call Rick Belford at 865-8071. PIANO: Learn to play or expand your skills. Convenient downtown location, NYC musician, CCV instructor. 1st lesson is free! Call Doug O'Brien at 658-1205.

• legals

STATE OF VERMONT CHITTENDEN COUNTY, SS. IN RE: D.A. Vermont Family Court Chittenden County Docket No. 354-7-01 CnJv NOTICE OF HEARING TO: Terri Andrews, mother of D.A. you are hereby notified that a hearing to consider the termination of all your parental rights to M.B. will be held on March 6th, 2002 at 1:45 p.m. at the Family Court of Vermont, Chittenden County, 32 Cherry Street, Burlington, Vermont. You are notified to appear in connection with this case. Hon. Dean B. Pineles Family Court Judge Date: 1/23/02

• automotive

J E E P CHEROKEE SPORT, 1990, gun metal blue, auto, 4WD, 44K mi., PW, PL, roof rack, tinted windows, new tires, 50-watt premier pioneer cd player, dealer maintained. $13,250/bo. Call 660-9275. LAND ROVER DISCOVERY, 1997, 4x4, PW, PL, cruise, stereo w/remote, roof rack, great condition. 58K miles. $15,900/060. Call 802-863-6959(h),' 802-734-8287(c). MERCEDES 190E, 1991, auto, 2 dr, leather, 23K mi., loaded, like new. $12,500. Call 518-358-6101. MERCURY SABLE, 1995, silver, auto, 4 dr, loaded. 49K mi. Grandma's Florida car. $5000. Call 899-1375.

DONATE YOUR CAR. Be special, help disabled children. Call today 1-877GIVETOK(IDS) ext#2. Free, quick pick-up, IRS tax deduction, special kids fund, donate online www.specialkidsfund.org. (AAN CAN) EAGLES SUMMIT, 1989, mini, minivan. Great shape, runs well, 190K (highway), well maintained, synthetic oil, new autotrans, tires, blue, sliding door, hatchback. $1200. Burlington, 660-1982. HONDA CIVIC DX, 1993, black, 4 dr, 5 spd. Exc. condition throughout. Best $3000 car you will find. Call 899-1375.

NISSAN PICKUP SE, 1990, King cab, 4X4, V6, 5 spd, all power, sunroof, good rubber, cap, very well maintained, all records. High mileage but lots of life. Great buy at $3950. (802) 238-6161. SUBARU LEGACY L, 1996, wagon, 5 spd, roof rack, bike rack, ski pod, 12-cd changer, clean, 1 owner, all maintenance records, 89K mi. $8900/bo. Call Doug at 223-0815 (Middlesex). SUBARU SEDAN, 1989, 4 door. Good condition, current sticker. Replaced engine: 102k miles. New timing belts and tires. $950/0B0. Call Ed at 865-9918. TOYOTA CELICA GT 1997, black, leather, loaded, low mileage, excellent condition. Great dependable fun car. Asking $9750. Call 496-3257 or 496-6199.

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SEVEN DAYS

Contact Josh at: 864-5684, Fax: 865-1015 email: classified@sevendaysvt.com Snail Mail: PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

Cultured. Like y o g u r t .

Carpool Connection Call 864-CCTA to respond to a listing or to be listed. MORRISVILLE to ESSEX. I need a ride to IBM. I work from 7 pm-7 am. (40057) ST. ALBANS to ESSEX I need a ride to IBM. I need to be to work between 7:30 am & 9:30 am. (40056) BURLINGTON to S. BURLINGTON. I need a ride to Sears at the University Mall. I work Sun.-Sat. from 6 am-2 pm. (40058) WATERBURY to MONTPELIER. My hours are 7 am-3 pm. I am flexible & looking for a ride M-F. (40045) S. BURLINGTON to ESSEX JCT. I am looking for a ride to IBM from S. Burlington. I work M-F, 8 am4.-30 pm. (40038) BURLINGTON to S. BURLINGTON. I am looking fora ride Mon., Tues., Fri., & Sat. I work from 9:30am 6:00pm. 40077. BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am looking for a ride to IBM Mon. Sun. My hours are 9:00am - 5:pm. (40079)

BURLINGTON to MILTON or COLCHESTER. I am looking for a ride to Milton or Colchester from Burlington at 4:30 p.m. (40096) BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am looking for a ride from Burlington to Chimney Corners Monday-Friday. My hours are 6:00am to 4:00pm. (40083) BURLINGTON to ESSEX JCT. I am looking for a ride to Essex Junction Monday-Friday. My hours are 8:00am-5:00pm. (40085) BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am looking for a ride to Milton from Burlington during the day. My hours and days are flexible. (40087) WILLISTON to COLCHESTER. I am looking for a ride to Water Tower Hill in Colchester from Williston and back from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. (40093)

MONKTON to WILLISON. I am looking to share driving, MondayFriday, 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (40125) ESSEX JCT. to ESSEX CTR. I am looking for a ride to Price Chopperin Essex, Sat. and Sun, 10:30 p.m. to 7:00 a.m. (40126) GRAND ISLE FERRY to BURLINGTON. I am looking for share driving Mon.-Fri., 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (40016) WINOOSKI to GRAND ISLE FERRY. I am looking to share driving Mon.Fri., 7:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (40015)

BURLINGTON to RICHMOND. I am looking for a ride at 7:00 a.m. one way, Monday-Friday. (40109)

BURLINGTON to COLCHESTER. I am looking for a ride to Colchester Monday-Friday. (40084)

BASS PLAYER seeks work. 37 years experience, prefers free and funky jazz. Have played the blues with some of the best. Call Jay at 888-7458.

VANPOOL RIDERS WANTED

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NAUGHTY LOCAL GIRLS WANT TO GET NASTY WITH YOU NO CONNECT FEE

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SEVEN DAYS

page 23b

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page 24b

SEVEN DAYS february a, 2002

to respond to a personal ad call I - 9 0 O - 3 7 0 " we're open 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be 18+ Hi

guidelines: Anyone seeking a

he e in PERSON TO PERSON, Ad suggestions? age range, interests, lifestyle, self-description. Abbreviations may be used to indicate 'the.1 ;ht to edit or reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submitted' for publication only by. and seeking, persons over 18 years of age.H •

M=Male, Ma=Married, ND=No Drugs, NS=Non-Smoking, NA=No AI cohol, P=Professional, S=Single, TS=Transsexual, W=White, Wi=Widowed, YO=Years Old

« Call _ 1-800-710-8727 to charge directly to your credit card. $i.99/miriute. must be 18

O r Call

1-900-370-7127 $i.99/minute. must be 18

THE BEST IS YET TO BE. LOVE AFTER 50, attractive, sparkling, SWPF, 53, passionate about travel, adventures, theatre, and love. Seeks a gentleman who is intelligent, attractive, spiritual, cultured and romantic.8918 WF, NS, 60-SOMETHING, PISCES, LONG HAIR, sensual, reflective. Enjoys Marconi, skiing, sailing, the arts and chocolate. ISO intelligent gentleman who likes travel, political activism and adventures outside the box.

89V

HEALTHY, HAPPY, SEXY & READY. ISO A "real man", SPM, 30S-early 40s, who values personal growth, nature & mature intimacy. Are you healthy, happy & ready too? Friendship first, no kids... yet. (This was box 8288. V/M was out of service for past month, please try me again!) 8916 * WANTED: SNOWBOARDING FISHERMAN, 30 +/-, who likes rocks, beer, bluegrass, eating, sleeping, riding bicycles, and interested in moving to Alaska. Smart, cute and funny also desirable. Call me. 8913 WANTED: FINANCIALLY SUCCESSFUL, KIND, generous, attractive, senior gentleman, NS, to spoil and attractive 35 YO woman, want to be taken care of emotionally and financially. Will not disappoint.8889

LOOKING FOR PARTNERSHIP. A LITTLE traveling within the state, good-humored, sensitive in areas. Needs attention, does not have to be serious.8718 WARMTH AND FIRE, 38, JF, SEEKING COLlab-orator to explore oceans and mountains, love and home, with 2 feet firmly grounded who hasn't given up his wings.8693 CUTE, ASTUTE, VIBRANT, FAIR-HAIRED CHICA yearns for spunky, hunky hombre (45-58). Pluses: sporty, amatory, erudite, with artsy inclinations and foreign flair. Could be a sizzling duo, no?8685

SWF, 28, BLONDE HAIR, BLUE-EYES, s'3 130 lbs. Hockey loving country girl seeks cowboy to sweep her off her feet and carry her away. Must like children. 8787

28 YO, KIND, FRIENDLY, PROF., SEEKING A fun outdoorsy guy with a good sense of humor to enjoy snowy outdoor fun and warm tasty meals with. In Lamoille county

SWF, 31, MOTHER OF TWO ISO MR. RIGHT who enjoys music, dining, dancing, movies and walks. If you are that person please respond. 8 7 6 5

wjom&n MsJdnq

SEEKING FAMILY MAN. M WITH CHILDREN TO share. Family, trustworthy, gentle, caring, harfl-working, age 45, full-figured. For companionship and friendship.8719

CLASSY, YET DOWN-TO-EARTH. Comfortable sleeping under satin or blanket of stars. Clever, cultured, kind. Passionate about nature, ocean, travel, beauty, love, life! Attractive mom, 40's, seeks extraordinary man. 8802

REFORMING CELIBATE SWF SEEKS DASHING and daring (but safe) young knight to unleash my pent up rivers! 8766

Open 24 hours!

ROMANTIC WARRIOR WANTED. PETITE, pretty, ageless, eclectic, irreverent "hippie/ biker/gothiq" creatress seeks dark prince to dance through shadows and prowl the fringe with. Must be uninhibited and have nice feet. 8720

DOGWOOD SEEKS MAGNOLIA, TO STAND beside in the rain, strong winds, cold, glorious sunshine, to dance and sway when the spirit so moves. This dogwood lives in Burlington; grows in Brooklyn.8757 SPONTANEOUS FUN WITH LOTS OF DEPTH. ISO SM 3o's/4o's who can play like a kid and act like an adult. Cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, snowboarding, kayaking, camping out, possible LTR.8753 ISO GENTLEMAN, 45-60 YO, HONEST, CARing and enjoys being pampered. I am a DWPF, pretty, petite, gentle, upbeat looking for someone special to share whatever life has to offer.8752 IF YOU ARE A S, PROF, 45-55ISH, DASHINGly handsome, articulate, lover of nature, film, written and spoken word, conversation that goes to the heart of things...leave me a message! 8 7 3 2

VT SKI GIRL SEEKS SKI BOY. SWF, 40, seeks S/DWM, 35-45, for skiing at Stowe. Advanced/expert skiers looking for same. Friends first, possible LTR.8882 DWM 34, ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE, WITTY, LOVE to play in the snow. Seeking adventurous F snow lover for fun and friendship. Age unimportant. Attitude is everything. Let it snow. 8833 DEFYING THE AGING MYTH: YOUTHFUL so'S, fit, NS, veggie woman, yoga practitioner, meditator with poetic talents and healing ways. ISO compatible NS, vegetarian/vegan man to share the journey.8823 SWF, 30 MUSICIAN. ENJOYS STIMULATING conversation, live music and good times. ISO SM, 30-45, with similar interests. 8820 SWF, 43, FAT, HAPPY, ATTRACTIVE, OUTGOing. ISO gentleman for LTR. Enjoy myriad of interests, amusements. You? Secure, communicative, humorous, unmarried, unaddicted, romantic, kind honest. Me? Delightful gem seeking quality setting.8810 WITTY, ARTICULATE, INDEPENDENT 29 YO SPF who's a great cook and fiery spirit seeks 25-40 YO SPM with great smile and sense of humor to share various and sundry adventures. NS/ND.8803

GORGEOUS WIFE, 40, ENJOYS YOUNGER, hip guys, smart, articulate, fun and funny. My great husband is cool with it all, so do get in touch if you like mini-skirts, fishnets and fun.8553

STEEL MAGNOLIA: 50 YO SWDPF. ATTRACTive, independent Scandinavian with eclectic interests and power tools, seeks off the wall intellectual with a sense of the absurdity of life and appreciation of haute cuisine. 8549 TEMPEH AND VEGETABLES FOR BREAKFAST, yoga and meditation, nature, conscious living, ready for life partner. Attractive, accomplished, ambitious SPF seeks SPM, 35-45. Friends first.8548 SWF, 26 YO, 5*6", i25lbs, INTELLIGENT, educated and sweet. ISO SWM, 28-38 YO, passionate, intelligent and educated with iight blue eyes and a penetrating gaze. No back hair please. 8545

area 8 6 8 3

SWF 30, SEEKING SOMEONE TO SHARE LIFE with. I enjoy theatre, music, movies, TV, books, conversation, dining out and many other things. Seeking SM, 30-40, NS for fiin times.8672 CENTRAL VT, 33 YO, COLLEGE-EDUCATED. Works full-time in higher education. Passionate and attractive. Turn ons include tall men w/muscular, hairy-chests, fine wine & good beer.8665 OH FOR A GOOD-HUMORED, EDUCATED M, who works well with people, animals and wood to hike, camp, kayak and converse open-heartedly w/me. Aesthetically-oriented, 50's DWPF, NS, to exchange TLC. (Charlotte area) 8636 SPIRITUAL PARTNER WANTED. FUN-LOVING, outdoorsy romantic woman seeks partner for support to achieve life's dreams. Love dogs, woods, sailing, snowshoeing, snuggling by the fire, arts, 35-55.8633 SWPF, 31, BROWN/BLUE, 5*5", 110 ENJOYS outdoor activities: snowboard/ski, snowshoe, hike/bike, year round camping, loves animals, new to Mad River area. ISO friends with similar interests, possible LTR8622

NO APPOINTMENT NEEDEDI SWM, YOUNG 39, smoker, good looks and build, promises to be there for you with compassion, honesty, intimacy and sensual massage. Let's start here.8915 31 YO, BLONDE/BLUE, 5'8", 165, RT, healthy, active, warm, gentle, easy-going, non judging. ISO woman of any age & color interested in hiking, cuddling, and Taoist sexual practices. Open to LTR or other. 8891 READY TO START OVER. DWPM, EMPLOYED, living in own home, NS, ND, ISO fit, 40-55, for dating first. Love to dance, snowshoe, cross-country ski, cuddle in front of a fire. Honest, caring and loving.8914 SHE'S OUT THERE: ATTRACTIVE, SENSUAL, playful, fit, loves nature & healthy living, 4oish. Me: DWPM, Good-looking, principled, prosperous, mischievous 81 passionate. Enjoy health, nature, culture, and fun. Zest for life & emotionally available. 8900 SWPM 27, RT, KIND, SEEKS SWF, 20-35 tikes gourmet cooking, lake swimming, snoeshoeing, snowboarding, hiking, meaningful conversations. Looking for friendship and possible LTR.8899 SWM PAGAN 25, IN SHAPE ISO PAGAN SWF 18-40 looking for people for outdoor activities or indoor, likes gardening, hiking, travel, vegan meals, new to Burlington/Montpelier area. Anyone out there?8898

A peach is a peach

ELEGANT, MID-so'S, GENTLEMAN. VERY solvent, but no snob. Are you an attractive lady who might enjoy Montreal, sports cars, Puccini, yachting and the company of a thoughtful , generous person. 8893

A plum is a plum But a kiss ain't a kiss

SM, BURLINGTON AREA ISO ROMANTIC, playful, imaginative, petite F, 30+, openminded and honest. To explore new ideas, try new things, enjoy the outdoors. Personality is everything. LTR. 8888

Without some tongue,

SEEKING A GENTLE, SENSITIVE MAN WHO can listen to feelings as well as express them. Hoping for a responsive, thoughtful relationship between two humble beings. NAMASTE.8887 TOTALLY ATTRACTIVE & UNIQUE, VERY pretty, intelligent, outgoing, passionate and whole 47 YO woman seeks handsome, intelligent, sensual and witty conversationalist who distinguishes himself in love.8885

PASSIONATE, SINGLE 19 YO ARTISTIC beauty, ISO similar tall dark sensual male, 19-26. Must love life and long hilarious conversations, all major romantic donations accepted. Warm me up 8559

ARE THERE ANY MAIRRAGE-MINDED LADIES left in VT? A 31 YO, 5 ' n " , attractive and fit SPWM, new to the U.S.8886 NICE JM, 37, LOOKING FOR SUGAR MAMA TO bring home the fakin' bacon while I raise our children and pursue my artistic endeavors. Must love jerry, gardening, scrabble and

SEVEN DAYS Personal Parties...

VPR. 8 8 7 5

Dont spend Valentines Day aloney Spend it with us!

PRETTY WOMAN, INTELLIGENT, COMMUNicative, playful, heavy-set, 5'6". Seeking compatible man about my age, 51, for companionship/love. Camping, canoeing, cooking, and cuddling. Have "always been partial to men in uniform. 8727 5'2", EYES OF BLUE, BLONDE, FIT, 44, DF, mother, designer, entrepreneur. Passionate, honest, fun-loving, attractive, compassionate, sensual, healthy, secure. ISO same and more for travel, outdoors, arts, books, LTR. 8725 INTO THE WILD? SWF, 38, SEEKS SILLY, outgoing, honest, outdoorsy, mountaineer man who adores wilderness and wildlife. Activities include: snowboarding, sailing, back country skiing, rock climbing, hiking, cycling, dancing, laughter and travel.8724

"SOME FOLKS TRUST IN...". D/NS, BLUEcollar history teacher, radical leftist w/pagan leanings, diverse interests and a touch of gray; much is happening, nothing is coincidental. 8874 ROMANTIC 37 YO S M ISO ATTRACTIVE, 27-37 YO, F to share good times. Must tike to be kissed and cuddled, wined and dined. 8870

SWF SEEKS SANE MAN, 21-24. OPENminded, animal-loving, man with car and job a bonus. Take me out now 'cause I'm collecting dust! Perves need not apply.8616

DWM, ALMOST A FT FATHER, NOW COMPletely healed and ready for life's adventures again. Risk level: we ski/snowboard the green circle trails, occasionally the blue squares. We brush the snow off when we fall, and try again. 8831 SWM, 39 YO, 5 V , 140 LBS, HARD-WORKing, lonely. ISO petite WF for LTR, 30-35, tat's ok, ND.8822

KILLINGTON AREA. JUST ARRIVED IN VT!! Quirky (in a good way) tallish, cute SWF 26, Mom of 1 (dog). ISO near aged, tall, outdoorsy, animal lover for adventure exploration. 8615

SEXY, ADVENTUROUS, BLONDE 35 YO, Subaru driver seeking beautiful, all-wheel driven F. Seeking fun, excitement, companionship and head-to-toe massages. No couch potatos please.8819

26 YO SWF TIRED OF MEN WHO ARE emotionally unavailable. Must love family and enjoy learning. Outgoing but able to sit back and watch when needed. NS/ND, loves animals and outdoors.8611

I'M THE ONE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR! 26 YO SWPM, Athletic, active, responsible, caring, sensitive, romantic, family-oriented, looking for athletic SPF, who seeks and LTR to cure my lonely heart! 8808

1964, GERMAN MODEL SWPF NO RUST/ excellent condition. Low maintenance. Great for snowfun, adventures and sailing. Runs best on trust, honesty & friendship. Smart, sassy, and sensitive. $50,ooo/060.86o8

Dear Lola, My boyfriend and I have a basic incompatibility. He's Mr. "So What IJj We Have Tickets to the Opera, Let's Grab Some Subs And Picnic Under the Full Moon." But I'm more like Ms. "Better Order Oysters Today Because Two Weeks From Tomorrow I'll Want to Have Sex and Some Pre-coital Love Snacks Will Set Just the Right Mood." I fjind his tohell-with-plans attitude more than unsettling, while my ultra-organized approach drives him crazy. Is there room for a meeting ofj the minds, or are we simply not meant for one another? Fastidious in Ferrisburgh

Dear Fastidious, Why not try a timeshare approach? Let him know — in advance — which plans simply cannot be broken. These might include events to which you have tickets, ones where your absence would hurt other people, or on which your heart is particularly set. For the rest, leave room for his spontaneous inspirations. It he knows he has room to play, you're planning on his spontaneity and you both want to see this thing work, there may be hope tfor you.

Jjola

Or respond tlie old-fashioned way: CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 «1.99/min. must be 18+

february 6, 2002

SEVEN DAYS

page 25b

want a charge on your phone bill? call 1-800-710-8727 use your credit card. 24 hours a day! mm

As&kinq woman,

$1.99 a minute, must be 18+

SWM, 37, THIN, S. BURLINGTON, SEEKS SF for friendship and/or LTR. Likes animals, travel, quiet times, very romantic. Humor, bike path and just sitting in the sun. Kids ok. 8 6 1 2

cord.

FUN-LOVING, INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE, 25 YO SWPM ISO sexy, energetic SWF (Bi is a plus) to share good times and travel. Frustrated Redhead you sound PERFECT but haven't called yet.86os TALL AND ATTRACTIVE SWPM, 45, EDUCATed, adventurous, DH skier. Enjoy hiking, biking, swimming. ISO attractive, romantic, SWF, 36-44, with similar interests. For companionship, possible LTR. 8603 -

GWM, 29, SEEKING MASCULINE, HAIRY- CHESTED,

A WONDERFUL GUY: SWM, 29, 5 ' « " , BLUE eyes, brown hair. ISO SWF 29-45 YO, for relationship. Very active, love to play pool & have fun. Please call.8602

ISO F, DARK HAIR BEAUTY, ANY AGE/RACE, who loves motorcycles, massages, outdoors and creative intimacy. New home, no rent, great cook, taste the good life and relax. S W M , 4 0 , LTR. 8 7 8 5

FIND LOVE FOR YOU IN 2002. DWM, 47, 5 ' n " , 165 lbs., fit, ambitious, healthy, goodlooking, NS, ND, likes country, animals, family get togethers. Seeks attractive, fit, healthy

DWM, 48 ISO NS, F FOR FRIEND & LOVER. Should have soft lips and warm heart. Be interested in sharing conversation, books, movies, walks, theater, food, wine, love, pillows. 8784

F for LTR.8658

CAPTURE MY ECHO! HUMOROUS, ATTRACtive, educated SWM seeks bright, attractive, gentle NS, SWF, 35-45, to share wonder, warmth and whimsy.8653

IMAGINATIVE ADVENTURER, SWM, 34, vegetarian, Unitarian, silly-serious, talkative, tall, thin, romantic, very open. Loves ideas, writing, hiking, bicycling, gardening, yoga, Buddhism, VPR, current events, quiet, Bread & Puppet. ISO similar NS, F, 25-38. Let's share our love and VT8783

25 YO SWM IN SEARCH OF AVERAGE SIZE, 24-29 YO F. Love for hiking, working, NS, ND, down for life. Zyprexc.8650 ATTRACTIVE, RESPONSIBLE, AFFECTIONATE, athletic, musical, dog lover, house, view, 37 SWM. Enjoys hiking, biking, camping, country music, dancing, Sun. drives, friends, laughter. ISO SWF, 28-39, attractive, responsible, fun for friendship, maybe more?8648

SWM, 50's, 6'2", 220 lbs, AVERAGE LOOKS. ISO full-figured F who likes to laugh. Fireplaces, boats and romantic evenings. Let's see what happens. 8764 SWM, BLUE EYES/BROWN HAIR, 150 LBS. I'M a sociable guy who likes to do most anything. I like a woman in her 40S-50S. Hope I

DWM, 50'S, 5*6", ISO ATTRACTIVE, INTELligent woman into sports, blading, skiing, skating, meditation, love, passion, and sex. Imagine! I'm not the only one.8639

am the o n e for y o u . 8 7 3 0

ME: SOMEWHAT INTELLECTUAL 0 READ), well-educated, practical while also a bit of a romantic, hiker, healthy, prosperous. ISO F who is reasonable fit, age over 48, sensual and who enjoys endless, playful repartee about/exploration of "life's persistent ques-

ATTRACTIVE, SUCCESSFUL ATTORNEY. Generous to a fault, committed to the finer things in life, believer in adventure, wanderlust & cultural discovery. Looking for a very attractive F, 22-38, for whom to give the moon, sun 8c the stars, & to travel the world. You won't be disappointed. 8638

tions".8728

WELCOME TO KARAKUL SM, 5*9", 160 LBS, NS, very handsome, loving and ready, looks 40-S0mething. Seeking fit, loving, warm woman for the journey to Shangri-La, where youth and wisdom unite in perfect beauty.

FRIENDSHIP FIRST! HUMOROUS, FIT, ACTIVE, college-educated, financially secure, SWPM seeks SWF, 33-44 to share gourmet cooking, lake swimming, hiking, motorcycling, meaningful conversation, love letters and possible

8721

LTR. 8 6 3 7

LOVE IS THE ANSWER. DWM, MIDDLE-AGED tike fine wine, extremely youthful, proportionate, reasonably attractive. Looking for fun times here and far, outdoors and in. Worth the effort. Call now.8717

RECENTLY RETURNED TO BURLINGTON. SWPjM, 33, 5'5", 140, cute, fit. Enjoy nature nature, hiking, snowshoeing, running, live music, movies and cooking. ISO SF, similar age and interests for friendship, possible

DISTINGUISHED "NOT YOUR AVERAGE G U T . Successful career, late 50's. Loves travel, having good times. Seeks a nice lady, who loves life and wants to around a man who treats her well. 8690

LTR. 8 6 3 2

HOPING FOR A BETTER NEW YEAR. SHY artist, SWM, 24, 5 ' u " , 218 lbs., seeks cute, crazy F, 19-30, to help me get over the winter blues. Race/weight unimportant.8630

DO YOU LIKE TO: SING, PLAY OUTSIDE, explore, read, exercise, giggle, dance, cuddle, communicate? Are you: mostly happy, spontaneous, self-nuturing, candid? me too! SWM, 40, NS, Vegetarian, homeowner. Friendship 1st, eventual LTR.8688

SERIOUS, PHILOSOPHICAL DPM, 45, SEEKS companion for back-country skiing, hiking and other outdoor adventures. Ultimately looking for LTR, but friends first.8629 I AM 29 YO FROM ITALY, HOT, FIT, S'io", 190 lbs. I am very outgoing and fun. ISO a good-looking woman to start a friendship with. That's how all good things start.8625

LOOKING FOR MY MUSE. SWPM, 39, NS, ND, ISO kind, smart, and attractive S/DWF.8686 UPBEAT, LIVELY, HANDSOME, SEXY, athletic, writer, artist (and lawyer), 55, with passion for conversation, progressive politics, arts, and skiing, seeks an attractive partner who is outgoing, intelligent, and independent.8684

27 YO OVERLY-SELECTIVE, ATHLETIC, FUNloving SWPM ISO attractive, but minorly flawed women to reject. Foil my plans. VERY HANDSOME, 41, SUCCESSFUL IN FILM/ television world, part time Vermonter. My wife and I enjoy dating others. Works for us. ISO very attractive, fit, fun friend to pamper a bit.8613

ATTRACTIVE BEST FRIEND WANTED TO share good times, bad times, and the simple things in life. Caring, compassionate, honest, attractive, fun, upbeat, zany, just like Sandra Bullock, 21 - 37 YO, kids ok.8680

SWM 45, SEEKS GROUNDED, EARTH-FRIENDly companion, 30-40, loves good food, rural home life, swimming, summer concerts, gardening, dogs. Playful, intelligent, sensual and sexual spirit a must. 8562

masculine

rficOuSoorGear Excliaxj; used • doseout • new 191 Bank St, Burlington

guys,

2 1 - 3 5 , for d i s c r e t e

860-0190

and a $25 gift certificate to

fun. Discretion

SWPM, 38, LOOKING FOR A SLIM, ATTRACTive, long-legged, educated woman, 25-35, who loves motorcycling, Bruce Springsteen and great sex. Call for details.8560

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker's Guide to VT from

assured.

NEED NO REPLY, JUST STOP BY WHERE THE S. Burlington mall buildings are blue. I will meet you. Think music. M, 60, ISO SF NS for friendship. Let's visit.8543

womon

WQMSn

SMALL AND FEISTY, SWPF, 22, PETITE and cute brown-eyed girl. Seeks funny, athletic, young Frank Sinatra. Loves nights on the town, working out, traveling, and good conversation. 8906 FUN, WITTY, 26 YO, OPEN AND HONEST. I have great friends but need something more. ISO, 21-35 YO F who is active and needs attention. Let me cuddle you.8894 ATTRACTIVE, FIT, 29 YO WOMAN LOOKING for first time experience with attractive, fit, healthy woman 24-32. No commitments. Just wanting to explore hidden desires. Lets meet over coffee or wine. 8806 MATURE BIF, 40, FUN-LOVING, HONEST, looking for best friend for friendship and more. Lipstick Bi or lesbian only, no butch. I need satisfaction only a women can give. Discretion please! 8762 I SPIED A RED FOX IT TOUCHED MY HEART and made me smile. I am happy that your dreams are coming true, see you at the ocean someday.8620 ATTRACTIVE, FIT, Bl-CURIOUS LOOKING FOR first time experience. Not looking for committed relationship. Just want to explore the beauties of a woman's body. Must be fit, attractive, clean. 8595

GWM, 42, FORGOTTEN WHAT ITS LIKE TO be with another guy. I'm looking for other GWM to re-introduce me to man-to-man fun, 8902

TALL MEN WANTED: GOOD-LOOKING, GOOD shape, 40 YO, SWM, 5*10", 160 lbs, brown/blue. ISO good-looking, good shape, tall men, any race. NA, ND, 18-40 YO for discrete encounters. Burlington area.8895 PROF. WM, 49, 5'll", 190 LBS. FUN-LOVING, honest, real, very giving. ISO 25-50, 5*6"5'io", 135-200 lbs. Enjoy music, cooking, movies, adventure, reading, good conversation, lots of sexual time.8884

GWM, 29, SEEKING MASCULINE, HAIRYchested, masculine guys, 21-35, for discrete fun. Discretion assured.8883 HOW IS DATING LIKE "A FORTUITOUS encounter", anyhow?...lt's simply the chance to get to know somebody! Interested in dating any guy who has a great sense of humor, also.8824 HOT, WELL-BUILT, MASCULINE WM, 32. Always hungry. ISO well hung, masculine men to service. Discrete. 8821 GWM, 50, LOOKING TO MEET M, 18-30, ANY race to have a good time with. Washington, Lamoille & Franklin county areas, college welcome. Call for info. Same day reply.8818 18 YO M, A LITTLE Bl-CURIOUS. ISO M, 1830, in healthy condition to teach me a few things about hot man-to-man contact! I will respond to all calls and am very submissive. Leave phone number and time to call back or e-mail address.8815 SWM, 41, FIT & HEALTHY ISO GM, 38-45, for possible LTR. Great conversationalist, intellectual, fun, spiritually minded hoping tofind great friend/great lover! Martini anyone?

NUBILE COLLEGE STUDENT SEEKS BEARDed, broad-shouldered, user-friendly male counterpart for company and conversation and quiet subversion of the status quo.8677 GWM, 175 LBS., 42 YO, ADIRONDACK AREA seeking GM, 150-180 lbs., 25-40 YO, who

likes wrestling, for fun times. No mail please.8655

PHILOSOPHICAL PLAGIARIST LOOKING FOR a Dostoevsky-esque figure with a mind like broken glass for me to walk over. Literacy not required. Insanity a big plus. My horizons are too narrow.8557 BURLINGTON HAS SO MANY HOT BOIS OUT there! Me: Cute 22 YO boi looking for friends and anything else that might happen. Would love to meet others around my

age!8554

SWM, 5'9", 165. NICE, STRAIGHT-ACTING, young-minded 45 YO. ISO young, slender, easygoing SWM who enjoys cuddling on cold winter nights. Call soon. Winter's com ing!8544

8761

RUMI SEEKS THE LOVER, AN EMERSON TO roam through the forests of Thoreau with. Perhaps if I am lucky enough this Joseph Campell will find his Carl Jung.8759 20 YO WM LOOKING FOR ANOTHER M FOR fun erotic encounters. Age is unimportant. Discretion is a must. If you fit the description please contact me I am waiting.8758 LIKE THE MARINES, I'M LOOKING FOR A few good men. PWM into weights 81 guys who use 'em seeks physically-minded guys who "stand and deliver". Not into clubs, drugs or LTR. Just men who want men.8747 SUBMISSIVE M, 39, SEARCHING FOR A raunchy guy for morning/day time fun. 8723 HIGH-SPIRITED, HANDSOME, FIT, 33 YO, prof., GM. ISO similar individual, who enjoys hiking, skiing, and travel, interested in intelligent conversation and possible LTR. 8679

34 YO BIF, FRIENDLY, INTELLIGENT, PRETTY cute, down-to-earth. Loves dancing, hiking, ceramics and coffee houses. In quest of a bisexual F or M for friendship or more.8901 ARE YOU READY TO BE ADORED? ATTRACTive, clean 36 YO M seeks 18-45 YO S/MaF for discreet encounters. Pleasure assured. 8871

MOUNTAIN MAN WHO IS SEEKING THE best of both worlds. The beautiful hermaph rodite, the sexy transsexuals or the exotic transvestites. I will answer all. 8845 SM, 38, ATHLETIC, FUNNY, SEEKS OPENminded zaftig F, 35 - 45, for adult fun and companionship. Must be light hearted.8844 LONELY CENTRAL VT 22 YO WF WITH M lover seeks BiF for sharing, caring, and fun. 8827

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oihsm, cant. 23 YO, 2M ISO PLUS-SIZED WOMEN, 18-45 for discreet weekend, adult fun. Please let me massage and pleasure you. Central VT only. 8789 ISO, F, 25-45, LTR, WHO IS INTERESTED IN exploring a strongly intimate relationship. Call me slave or master. SWM, 40, enjoys motorcycles, cooking and relaxation, just relax call or write.8786 Bl-CURIOUS WM, 19,165 LBS, 6'. ISO A male or female who is good-looking, and between 18-30 for good hot fun, will respond to all messages that leave phone number to reach you at. Will travel, to go to your place. I will make all your fantasies come true. 8749

HILLARY, WE RE-MET ON MLK DAY. I thanked you and said I owed you from last April. We had a nice talk. Later I looked for you but you were gone. Can we meet again?

89±9 I SPY A CURLY RED HAIRED WOMAN AND her crazy dog walking on N. Champlain St. I know you were looking at me so give me a call.8912 JUST HAD TO THANK YOU CARLA. THE RAINbow bag you gave me is a hit. I love it. Thank you. 8911 GEORGIA ON MY MIND. JUST THINKING OF you right now and all of our Saturday afternoon chats.8910

% HOT DAMN, WHEN I SAID BURLINGTON sandwich Co., I meant VT SANDWICH CO. You: work there and are cute. Me: eaten there and cute too. Sorry about the confusion. Ha! 8908

I SPY BRITISH LOOKING MAMMAL. THE tobacco drools off the end of your tongue like the sperm bank that you have depleted. Where are my Ewin Megregor look alikes? 8880

2/2 DUNKIN DONUTS IN ESSEX AROUND 4:00 a.m. We chatted briefly about being designated drivers and our travels abroad. Would love to pick up where we left off. How about over coffee sometime?8907

CUTE PUNK GUY WHO COMES TO MY office w/the mail. You'd look sexy in a wife beater and jeans. I tried to stop it but you've stolen my heart. Damn you! 8879 THE COCOA TASTES BETTER WITH YOU. Thanks for listening to me sing. Come with me in March, or you're in the poop shop. Al, I Texas NY. 8878

HANNAFORD'S, DORSET ST., 1/20. YOU: stellar redheaded M with tan hat. Me: darkeyed brunette in gray fleece. I caught your eye in the dairy section; any sparks? 8905

MEGANE-CHAN...HOW ABOUT SOME ACTION and Drama down in NYC round about the 23rd 0' March? No trains. Johann and 1 will pick you up! Jyaa ne!8877

I SAW YOU IN THE CUTE LITTLE BREWERY in Middlebury, you sexy pregnant blonde. ME: short bald guy with acne. I can be your sugar daddy. 8904

DESTINATION: CORPUS KRISTI MY DANCing pal, the church won't be the same w/out you. I miss you already! Will we dance to 140 BPM ever again? Look at those lights! Woooooo!!!8876

BEAUTIFUL, 2/02 PASSED, NO CONTACT, bring me coffee and all will be forgiven. Bring me in from the cold.8903 LIZ, MET 1/24, GAVE YOU & FRIEND A COZY ride home in snowstorm. Meet for a drink sometime? Let me know. Young Mr. Diamond 8897

BETH I LOVE YOU ALMOST AS MUCH AS I love Teddy!! 8873 DJ D: FUSE SHOW. YOU: DARK HAIR AND playing pool. Me: goatee and shyly watching. You're obviously attached, but for what it's worth you caught my eye and I want to let you know I think you're beautiful. 8872

GRANT WRITER: YOU WORK HARD, YOU love your animals, you're beautiful when you laugh. You deserve a raise.8896 3 NEEDS "PORN STAR". YOU ASKED TO bum a smoke. Did you go out west yet? If not I would love to bounce on your TRAMPoline.8892

YOU WERE DESCENDING BURROWS TRAIL on Camel's Hump on 1/26 as I was going up. I was "steaming." Meet for coffee, a hike? 8843

JCG: I SPY FROM THE MOON YOUR TRAVELS. With an open mind and closed heart I wait, 1 pine. THIS IS the longest journey. AEM.8890

DANCING IN BED TO THE Clash will never be the same without you! I will miss you when you leave, but fun we will have again come the summer months!8842

JOE M.P.: YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT you want, but sometimes you get what you need. Love T.8881

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TEEK: YOU BLACK AND WHITE phenomenon, feline love, I'm still crazy about you. Meow. Much love from all your friends in the field, and mom.8841

SUN., 1/21, RI-RA'S PUB, YOU: EATING lunchwith a friend and having an Amstel. Me: Black hair, glasses, and to shy to approach you. Maybe I can buy you drink sometime?88i3

KRISTEN; RED SQUARE, FRI. 1/25. SORRY about making you so angry, that really was not my intention. Call me and I will buy you a beer. 8837

I SPY A BEAUTIFUL WONDERWOMAN, THE most amazing thing I've ever seen. Dreadlocks to African virus/bacteria. I'm in love, S.8809

USDA-MAN AT RIRa's LUNCH SAT 01/19. YOU were heading to Pure Pop. Available for Herbie Hancock?8836

AIRPORT RESTAURANT, 1/23,10:30 A.M., You: Tall, curly hair, overheard me joking about winning the lottery, asked if I was single. Me: Tall, goatee, black jacket and single. Interested? 8805

ARE YOU FREE? COFFEE OR DRINKS. YOU use to serve me coffee, but you moved up the ladder. I mentioned,I thought you left the Co-op. You now work the Deli section, to shy to ask. S.8834

I CANNOT STOP SPYING THE LOVELY spunk from the co-op down under. All this attention you deserve. You're beautiful with perfect hands. Your muse must make many fantasies. 8804

VALENCIA, 1/25: LONG DREADS, HIP GLASSes: we chatted briefly after show regarding your sometimes job at Higher G. and the darkness of our music. Interested in something random?8832 J. DUBBS: WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT that line at What Ales You? A year later and I can't imagine spending it with anyone else. Love you much babe, Manda-pants.8830 ' "I AM TRYING TO BE COURAGEOUS, BUT it's easier to nervously smile". It's true, I think you've convinced me Essex isn't all bad, even if you do make up words.8828

HEY COFFEE OR GONDOLA RIDE! SORRY I didn't respond to your ad, I was traveling and almost missed it completely. What a surprise to see an ad for me. It was sweet and made me laugh. Let's try to prolong another conversation. A8801 BLONDIE: I'M GOING TO MISS YOU LIKE crafy Know that these last few months have meant so much. I love you, babe. You're beautiful! Always your Kumquat.8799 HEART, I FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST PERSON in the world knowing you love me. I hope this feeling lasts forever. 1 love you. 8760

A CURLY QUEEN, BROWN EYED ANGEL WHO lives in Burlington. Isn't there a song about you? Coolest chick I know, 7 p.m. Wine Bar, Saturday the 3rd, Okay Sweetness and light? 8826

SPIDERMONKEY, A FEW MORE TRIPS TO the island and we'll have to get a bigger bowl. I can't wait.8756

KEROUAC-LOVIN', CLOVE SMOKING GAL with a pearl and punk. Is it true you prefer my hair dirty? I won survivor just to catch your eye! 8817

KEEPING A LOW PROFILE? ENJOYING THEIR human ways? Prepare for homeworld transmission, 02/02/02.8755

OWARE REMATCH? SOON? PLEASE? ISLE OF view. 8814

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I SPY YOU AT THE COUNTER OF BRIDGE ST. Cafe. You looked so cute with your legs curled underneath you. Let's talk Janet and see what we have in common.8838

I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU. LIKE ME, YOU are a secret agent. I plan to contact you. Keep 02/02/02 free.8754

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Torespondto Letters Only ads:

Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

woman As&kinq mm

SM, 40, 6'i", 165 LBS, NS, ND, NA, NTV, breathes and writes daily. Seeking fit, thinking, 30-S0mething SF who makes art, reads books and loves her family of origin. Box 1109

WF, NS, 60-SOMETHING, PISCES, LONG HAIR, sensual, reflective. Enjoys Marconi, skiing, sailing, the arts and chocolate. ISO intelligent gentleman who tikes travel, political activism and adventures outside the box. Box 1110 50+ WPW, ATTRACTIVE, HEALTHY, STABLE, environmentalist, enjoys day trips, literature, arts, simple pleasures of gardening, walks, pets. Seeks companionable M, past mid-life angst. Middlebury/Rutland area. Box 1102 ADVENTEROUS, WELL-ADJUSTED, SWF, 35 YO, NS, who enjoys outdoor activities on trails less traveled. ISO humorous, outdoorsy, dog-loving, peaceful, SM, 35-45. Box 1080

50 YO W/YOUNGER APPEARANCE. INTERests: Supplements, exercise, music. Seeking true bohemian, artistic, attractive, hopefully somewhat intellectual, unafraid of the dark who wants to communicate, share multilevels. Box 1107 SWM, 37 SEEKING FULL-FIGURED AND PLUSsized F. Are you the one who just wants to be loved and not hurt? You won't be hurt, you won't be lonely any more. Box 1106 FREE TO A GOOD HOME: DWM, 42, SEEKS F, 30-45. Likes fishing, camping, TV, movies, country drives, skiing, hiking, smokes, drinks, etc. Fun times guaranteed. More possible. Box 1105. LONGSHOT: YOU; ATTRACTIVE, VIVACIOUS, unusual, visionary, 35-42, dig the north country, want to farm organically, dreaming for an eco-centric, exhilarating man. He's compassionate, has common sense and dreams of you. Box 1103

YOUTHFUL, SWM, NS, 56, 5 T , 155 AND nice looking. Enjoy sailing, kayaking, biking and traveling. Seeking attractive, slender, SWF, NS for possible LTR. Box 1104 25 YO SWM ISO PLUS-SIZED WOMEN, 18-30 for one-on-one meetings, possible LTR. No games. Box 1101 SWM, PROFESSOR/WRITER, 52, TALL, FIT, responsible, politically conservative, interested in arts, social issues, reading, quiet times, travel. ISO S/DF, 35-45, no children, for companionship. Box 1099 SWM, EARLY 30'S, EAGERLY SEEKS THE company of a sophisticated/attractive older woman (30's/40's) for fresh fun. Intelligence/ enthusiasm a must. NS. Box 1097 MaWM, 44, NA/ND (UB2), TEDDY BEAR-TYPE ISO F for discreet, LTR of "morning delights" (can host) with blessing of sexually disinterested wife. NY/VT/CDA. Box 1096. ANDROGYNOUS BISWM, 46, HAZEL EYES, smoke- social drinker. Into art, music, nudity, and sexual spirituality. ISO compatible, cute, bisexual chick (soulmate, lover, partner, etc.) Box 1091 SWM, 6', FIT, NA, LIGHT SMOKER, NEW TO area. Enjoy dining out, shopping, rides, gym, walks, talks, etc. Seeks SF to share time with. Box 1090

HONEST, OUTDOORSY, DOG-LOVING SWM, 54, hiker, mtn. biker, attractive, in shape, sky, humorous, non-religious, non-smoker, Van Morrisaon, sunsets, drinks on the deck. ISO similiar SWF, 35-50, weekend companionship, then? Box 1087

REMEMBER QUIET TIMES, CONVERSATION, soft music, warm back rubs? 46 YO bearded teddy bear 5'io", 230 lbs. ISO GM, 25-40 YO, clean, NS, ND, who still enjoys cuddling, Box 1093. BIM, VERY SUBMISSIVE. ISO IN SHAPE MEN to service. I'm 5*5", 140 lbs, clean, safe and discreet. Will answer all. free most weekends and evenings. B&D, S&M. Box 1088

DWM, NS, ND, GREAT PERSONALITY, WELLknown. Seeks SF, 35-50, 1 child OK, who enjoys boating (2 wks in FL winter) attractive, must love family. Box 1086 46 YO, SPIRITUALLY MOTIVATED PHILANthropist. ISO healthy, wealthy and wise woman to share love, life, God. Box 1084. SWM, EARLY 30'S, VERY CUTE, EDUCATED, clean-cut, cynical. ISO attractive/intelligent, older, unmarried woman for naughty encounters, possibly on long-term basis. Box 1083

oi/m SUBMISSIVE WM, 5*5", 140 LBS ISO A petite, dominate F who likes to have things her way and doesn't take no for an answer. Will answer all. Box 1094.

SWM, 40, 6', 200 LBS., BEARD, R O M NY state mtns. Physically fit and active, hardworking, honest, good sense of humor, enjoy nature, animals, coffee and food. ISO SF w/similiar qualities for fun/ltr. Box 1082

M, 27 AND F, 29, SEEK STRAIGHT MALE FOR their fantasy fulfillment. Between ages, 2545, clean and discreet. Letter and picture for fest response. Box 1092.

P L E A S E NOTE!

GWF, 42, PISCES, RT, WORKER, HANDYwoman, passionate, clown, smoker. ISO good-humored, good-hearted, old soul w/young heart, 35-45ish. Box 1081

Starting with the 2/13 issue Seven Days will no longer be accepting Letters Only submissions. Please see next weeks issue for more details.

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402. LOVE IN C Y B E R S P A C E . P O I N T Y O U R W E B B R O W S E R TO H T T P : / / W W W . S E V E N D A Y S V T . C O M TO S U B M I T Y O U R M E S S A G E ON-LINE.

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