Seven Days, March 12, 1997 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE 1 U lU lC l llU lO v 5 d a d ia l d iU

Nadeau Cool, 44, testified in Appleton, Wisconsin, that psy chiatrist Kenneth Olson hyp notized her and told her she was harboring 120 different personalities then billed her insurance company for the cost o f group therapy amounting to more than $200,000. In the malpractice suit, Cool said Olson told her at one point that one o f the personalities was Satan and performed an amateur exorcism on her at the hospital where the two worked.

He went door-to-door asking to use a telephone, but fright ened residents turned him away until, finally, Jerry Foster agreed to help Williams get back behind bars and called 911.

OUR SON, TH€ DOCTOR

a nap, ; The Febmafy incident is the third such case to have occurred in Brazil since American John Bobbitt became known around the world in 1993 for having his penis sliced off by his wife. In the previous two cases, an evangelist wife cut off her husbands penis because she was fed up with his week end smoking and drinking, and a jealous girlfriend severed her cheating boyfriends penis during a spat.

W H O M DO y o u T R U S T ? To improve attendance at work, Germany’s Cabinet agreed that government work ers who call in sick and miss work should be visited at home to make sure they’re not faking. Interior Minister Manfred Kanther noted that government employees average three sick days a year more than workers in the private sector.

HIGH FiyiNG

A three-member tribunal in Athens found Philip and Evangelia Dangiis guilty o f sneaking into a cemetery, stealing bones from a grave and mailing them to their son, a medical student in Bulgaria, to aid his study o f human anato my. The Danglises insisted their son planned to return the bones after studying them.

HOME, SWEET HOME ; After 1 20, es

w h e n

BOBBITTIZCD A jealous Brazilian cut off the penis o f a man he thought to be the lover o f his ex-wife in the southeastern state o f Minas Gerais, according to a police spokesperson, Raimundo Luiz dos Santos severed the penis with a blunt knife when he arrived at his ex-wifes house in Pouso Alegre to pay her alimo ny and found Delmando Salvador sleeping next to her in heir bed., Salvador was taken to a hospital and had his penis reattached. Dos Santos’ ex-wife denied being romantically involved with Salvador, saying

y o u

THZ HONeyMOON’S OVCR An Iranian man filed for divorce from his wife o f 40 days because she snores all night. “Believe me, over the past nights I have not been able to sleep at all,” the husband, named Gholam, told the judge. “I am ready to divorce her on whatever legal grounds she wishes. Farzaneh, the wife, said she tried to hide her heavy snoring by dissolving sleeping pills into Gholams evening meal. “But to avoid divorce,” said Farzaneh, “I am ready to sleep during the day and stay

Continental Airlines filed a lawsuit against a pilot’s ex-wife for baking rye bread for him that contained marijuana. The suit charges that Deborah Loeding knew William Loeding would be tested for drugs when he reported for work shortly after eating the bread. He denied using drugs, but he was fired. He was rein stated only after Deborah Loeding admitted that she deliberately put marijuana in the bread, according to the suit, to cause him “significant distress in his personal and pro fessional life.”

. .

to tsitors buy live chickens ($5) or pheasants ($12) to feed to the endangered tigers, then watch the hunt. The tigers soon tire o f the game, encouraging tourists to offer something more substantial, such as one o f the cows advertised at $190.

CURSZS, FOILCD AGAIN Michael Keith Morrison, 38, and his wife Lisa were arrested in Conroe, Texas, and charged with a convenience store robbery. The crime was captured on the store’s security camera, helping to identify the couple. Also, Lisa accidentally left her purse on the counter, • Jerry Bentley, 49, was arrested in Des Moines, Iowa, after he inadvertently dialed 911 as he was wiping spilled beer o ff o f his telephone. When police arrived, they ran a check on Bendeys name and found he was wanted on drug possession and failure to appear in court warrants. □

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S E V E N DAY S

ma r c h,

12,.

1,9 9 7

SETTING TH E T O N E FOR TRUTH

more importantly it also beat every national act

Congratulations to Mr. Peter

w eekly mail

So, yeah, it beat out other local music, but

too. Others in the top 8 below me were Nine

Freyne for writing a column in

Inch Nails, Metallica, Porno For Pyros and The

this paper telling it like it is; for

Mighty Mighty Bosstones.

MISTER MERCHANTS

being the first to raise journal

O f course, I’m bragging now, but why the

ism to new heights and setting

hell not! Has any local band had a #1 song on a

By Kevin J . K e ll e y ............................ . . ........................ page 7

the tone for the beginnings o f a

local commercial station before? I’m not saying

new base for quality o f govern

this just to be arrogant, though. I want all radio

INVESTING FOR TWENTYSOMETHINGS

ment to operate from — the

stations in the area to realize, you can’t ignore

truth.

local music. Not anymore.

We agree with his vision

— James Kochalka Superstar

right down to WGOP-TV. We

Burlington

ing government press releases. It is time to purge all the

By Ruth Horowitz................................................................. page 11

MONEY TA LK S... So why can’t we talk about it?

MR. SUNSH INE Re: Snow Country mag citing Burlington one o f top six urban-ski cities but adding downer —

THE COST OF REALLY LIVIN G Cashing in capitalism fo r quality o f life, in Vermont

By Nancy Stearns Bercaw....................................................page 15

hypocrites from State

“only 58 sunny days (Backtalk, February 19).

Government (Feds to boot!).

That reference is to days o f total sunshine — so

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DOLLAR

Let’s get regular people in there

it really ain’t that bad, man.

Some o f the best things in life are alm ost f e e

without bias. Those that will

By the way, after visiting friends here I made

treat others as they want to be

the move from L.A. a year and a half ago, and

treated.

I’d take this burg any day — well, almost any

We are having the biggest

— Dave Goldberg

Film Review: Fire on the M ountain

By David Healy ..................................

QUESTIONING DEAN

short on reports concerning tax

How can Peter Freyne (Inside Track, 3/5/97)

ation and health care. Editorials

be surprised by Howard Dean’s fear o f the pub

spout the opinions but meetings

lic’s right to know what he does? Dean felt so

are not covered.

strongly about his imperial privilege to keep his

ment.

actions secret in regard to his role in encouraging the costly Hydro-Quebec deal, that he went all the way to the Supreme Court to keep his guilty

— William and Laura Brueckner Waterbury Center

secret. Freyne asks, “What is he afraid of?” Vermonters should have asked this question before blindly voting for him in the last election.

NUM BER O NE

I wish Peter would use his many contacts to

Thanks for writing about me in your

delve further into Dean’s Hydro-Quebec role

Rhythm & News column, but you kind o f

and answer questions like: Why did Dean accept

watered down my achievement. My song, “Bad

campaign donations from American Express at a

Astronaut,” was not merely at “the top o f the

time when an Amex company stood to profit

playlist o f most requested local music at 98.7

from the building o f James Bay II?

The Pulse.” For five days it was the #1 most

: DOWNHILL HEROES

Burlington

Statehouse this year and the

journalist’s slant o f the inner workings o f govern

SAVING GRACE By Paula R o u tly ................................................................ page 25

Vermont taking place at the media is selling the consumers

By Jeremy Rosenberg..........................................................page 23

Twenty-five-year-oId Kathy Varney says “so long” to welfare

day. You get the drift.

changes in the history of

Looking forward to reading more of this

— James J. Higgins

requested song, period.

PHOTO:

Three cash-fee slackers subm it to financial analysis

By Peter K u rth ......................................................................page 13

are sick o f writing to Marselis and telling him he is only read

Banker Joe Boutin puts his money where his mouth is

Bristol

ALEX WILLIAMS

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page 26

ABSTRACT THINKING A rt Review: “Re:Fab, Painting abstracted, Fabricated a n d Revised.

By Pamela P o lsto n ......................................................................page29

d e p a r t m e n t s news q u i r k s .........................................................page 2? w e e k l y m a i l .................................................... page 3 exposure ......................................................... page 3 s t r a i g h t d o p e .................................................... page 4 inside track .............................................. page 5 backtalk .......................................................... page 6 sound advice .................................................... page 8 calendar .....................................................................page 18 talking pictures ..............................................page 27 art l i s t i n g s ..........................................................page 28 w ell nes s d i r e c t o r y ................................... page 30 health q&a ............................................................... page 30 real a s t r o l o g y ....................................................page 31 c l a s s i f i e d s ............................................................... page 32 g ree ti ngs from dug nap .............................page 32 p e r s o n a l s ..................................................................... page 33 l o l a , the love coun selor . . . . page 34

s t a f f CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly ARTDIRECTORSSamantha Hunt, James Lockridge WWWGUYJames Lockridge PRODUCTIONMANAGER Samantha Hunt CIRCULATION MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS/PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALESMANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Nancy Payne, Erik Swanson, Rick Woods CALENDARWRITER Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTINGWRITERS Nancy Steams Bercaw, Marialisa Calta, Rachel Esch, Peter Freyne, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Samantha Hunt, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, P Finn McManamy, Tom Paine, Bryan Pfeiffer, Ron Powers, Amy Rubin, Molly Stevens PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Sarah Ryan INTERNS David Fay, Rebecca Schmitz

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SEVEN DAYS. Bucking the Trend. COVER DESIGN BY SAMANTHA HUNT

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Mama mia, Cecil! The sci.physics crowds pathetic shot at explaining how anyone can suck up spaghetti [February 12} makes one wonder why our tax dollars are still subsidizing hopeless efforts at science education. We might as well be funding pictures of naked thermocouples. These wonks have missed the point entirely. Spaghetti sucking is not merely a function of the difference in pressure between the outside of the mouth and the inside. You can easily recognize this using a simple thought experiment. Imagine that a physicist — Erwin Schroedinger will do as an example — places the end of a strand of cooked spaghetti in his mouth. Then, instead of sucking, imagine that he turns on a pump that rapidly increases the air pressure surrounding his head. The air-ptessure differential will, according to probability, crush Schroedinger s skull like an eggshell long before it neatly forces the limp spaghetti through his pursed lips. (I encourage any sci.physics wonks who doubt this to try the experiment at home.) Ergo, it’s not just air pressure. A closer approximation to the right answer is that the spaghetti strand has its own density and cohesion. When you suck, the difference

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a solid (although onc P*3* id into the mouth, but at letti can be sucked, as it v

and...” (Brian). • “OK, the spagetti isn’t solid but mushy. So what? You can suck solid things, too. Cedi has been... well, I was about to say Cecil has been sucking various cylindrical objects, but I recognize that a certain element will find this comical. Let us pause while the lads get it out of their sys tems. “Very well. By process of experiment, we learn that the speed at whid something can be sucked depends very little on whether it’s solid or spongy — mostly it’s a matter of its weight relative to its cross section. I therefore feel entided to Ignore the fluidic aspects of the situation. “The air pressure around the spagetti causes an internal pressure in the spagetti. At the interface between outside and inside your lips, the internal pressure of the spagetti drops; the spagetti flows down this pres sure gradient” (Bruce Kline). Bruce. It’s “spaghetti.” Quite a few people persuaded themselves that spaghetti exhibits characteristics of flow and that it somehow extrudes into your mouth. But this could not result in motion of the spaghetti without loss of structural integrity or at least permanent deformation, whi^ doejnof occur, and in any case would be slow; This is spaghetti, or, more around the strand is not pertec|but ialIows s thin layer of spaghetti sauce to be sucked in, with it” 0 . Ebert). First thing I thought of. First thing I rejc lubricant, sure. However, from our experimt conclude thar an extremely thin film of spit ing. Given the minute amount o f fluid and the minii presents, it’s implausible to suggest that the sauce or or even the primary medium of propulsion.

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;THE SQUEALERS The Dean Team (as in Gov. Howard B. | Dean) had a pretty solid plan o f attack mapped | out last week — a strategic offensive to cross | the Rhine and prompt the retreat o f the liberal « D ’s under the golden dome. In addition to 8 frightening ’em into dropping their weapons, | the Dean Team wanted them to drop the edu| cation funding maps drawn up in John Freidin I Land — the House Ways and Means Committee. If things went really well, the Dean 8 Team hoped to scare dem bums out o f | Montpelier altogether. Scare ’em all the way | back to their little towns until a special session come fall. But clearly, the ultimate goal for the I Holy Defenders o f the Rich was to ship the 8 whole damn tax-reform shooting match off to | Never-Never Land, or at least into next year. | Slow it down. Stall. Yo! Time for another blue« ribbon study monster. Surely, they thought, the press would eat it 1 up. Heavy hitters on stage! Wednesday’s IDX <,<rocket launch would surely be all over the TV | news and all over the newspapers Thursday morning. Coincidentally, Ho-Ho had scheduled " his weekly Wednesday spin-doctoring class, aka I “press conference,” for Thursday afternoon. The | momentum would be pulsating by Thursday | afternoon. Ho-Ho would hop on his Save Jobs _ surfboard and ride the crest like 8 a champ. j The Dean Team’s plan I opened up with the big guns: | IDX whiz Ritchie “The Rocket" Tarrant at center, Jimmy “Brother o f Angelo ” Pizzagalli 1 on right wing, with the Key Bank’s David “Mr. Mousemeat” I Coates and Mary Alice “The Hotdog” McKenzie filling in i the gaps. Pass the mustard and | relish, please! | Ritchie the Rocket left New I Jersey for the good life in Vermont, and it has been a good life. A hoop star at St. Mike’s, he married into the Fayette family, an established and successful local Lebanese* American clan o f businessmen 1 and politicians. IDX did $128 million in annual sales in 1995 and is fast overtaking Ben & , Jerry’s. Ritchie’s a rising star, * and some Republicans pray he’ll i change his mind and jump into | the Vermont political game. | Pizzagalli Construction is a “ local icon. To the Sanderistas, they’ll long be “ remembered as the guys who busted the con1 struction unions in Vermont. These days busi| ness is pretty good. Jimmy and Angelo live side | by-side in spanking new million-dollar homes on Shelburne Point. Their firm pulled in $312 * million in annual sales, according to the latest I report in Vermont Business Magazine. God bless | ’em! Most o f it comes from out-of-state proIIjects. Currently, here at home, they’ve got their _ sights set on the Big Dog — building Husky in 8 Milton. i “If other states are more capitalistic than | Vermont, it’s been proven around the world,’ r o irl f D /\ / ^ L «*• ~ .1. _ ~ - _ * said the Rocket, “they’re <-Lthe ones„ that are going I to succeed.” Jimmy, “Brother o f Angelo,” waxed elo| quent about the bill’s alleged negative impact | on economic development and the construction I industry. Mousemeat Coates, a Dean insider and fel8 low worshiper at the Church o f the Almighty | Dollar, sang “Fools Rush In” in perfect pitch | and Mary Alice, spouse o f Ho-Ho’s right-hand I man, Billy Sorrell, almost pumped out crocodile tears for the guys on her meat floor who’ll take 1 home less in their paychecks, she squealed, k a

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because o f the looming Great Satan coming from the too-liberal House Ways and Means Committee. But you know, she didn’t say a peep g about their property taxes dropping even more. The message: Slow Down Zone Ahead. No Passing (a bill that raises my income tax) Zone. Enormous, complicated issue. Study, study, study! The captains o f capitalism were at their best, but sometimes things don’t go the way you jf plan them. Sometimes the media is the message. » TV stations Channels 3 and 22 showed. So f did The Rutland Herald. Yours truly wouldn’t | have missed it for the world, but nobody from g the daily gag... sorry, rag, made the treacherous * journey down Shelburne Road. That’s what happens when you staff a corporate chain paper j with aliens. To someone with a California, Michigan or New Jersey mind-set, getting Ritchie the Rocket and Jimmy, “Brother o f Angelo,” in the same room is about as impor- 1 tant as watching Bernie Sanders go bald. Needless to say, there were several choice | epithets hurled Thursday at the Freeps. The plan had failed. The snow started flying and Ho-Ho called off his afternoon spin-doctoring § session. Why bother? Time to regroup. Take Two — Monday morning the local Chamber o f Commerce held a pep rally at the ® Radisson. Every placemat had a copy o f “A CALL TO ACTIO N” for chamber members. j The featured speaker was the g new Son o f Howard Dean — ^ Sen. Peter Shumlin, the senate ® president. Like a Stepford wife, | Shummy told ’em everything § they wanted to hear. Not bad I for a former progressive Democrat from the banana belt. I A guy joined at the hip to Bernie Sanders just a few months ago. A guy who yearns for statewide success and knows where the money is. Shummy’s only slip occurred | when accountant Mike Flynn | inquired if the property tax cri- ™ sis was real or just a creation of ** the press. _ _^ P I “A good question,” quipped 8 I Shummy. “John Carroll made g I !■ that argument. He’s banking I M I now. And a lot of us don’t want I B J I L to join him.” Funny guy. g The squealers are pulling out ^ all the stops. Capitalists unite! * There’s no greater gift than to I lay down one’s life for the status j quo. g The Bernie Beat — Guess what? A lot o f people Jj voted for Peter Clavelle, but Bernie Sanders was- » nt one o f them. Honest. In fact, the guy who’s § forever wailing about how few people actually do g vote didn’t vote on Town Meeting Day. O f Bernardo forgot until the last minute that he had ® to be in Washington to give a speech to the United Electrical Workers. He dashed off to D.C. on a 6:30 a.m. flight — before the polls | opened. Then his staff got Judge Alden Bryan to « authorize issuance o f an absentee ballot, even though the deadline had passed. The city clerk 1 faxed it to D.C., but Bernie couldn’t find a plane g that’d get it back to Burlington by 5 p.m. All the g B-2 bombers were busy. The following day on the House Banking 1 Committee, The Bern vented on Federal Reserve Board Chairman Alan Greenspan for g “advocating tax and monetary policies which ® have benefited the very richest Americans.” Sliced and diced him. Chewed him up. Love & Politics — She met him in November, g A Colorado rancher named Michael Miniat. g Love at first sight. Last month they rafted down J the Futaleufu in Chile. In September, there’ll be 8 wedding bells. She’s Rep. Kerry Kurt of Colchester, a liberal D. Kerry’s heading West. g An open seat for Ho-Ho to fill. Oh boy! □ * 89MK 8*8* SHB8 W6&& SMMt 9SSSW S8M1 SMS WMt

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back. Eight years after the Champlain Shakespeare Festival died on its sword, Blake Robison at Vermont Stage Company is res urrecting the summer series in the air-conditioned splendor o f Royall Tyler Theatre. Its dramatic demise was not artistic, but economic. “The University couldn’t afford to underwrite it any more,” Robison says, noting his corporate sponsor — the Howard Bank — should help out on that front. Robison is start ing small, with one comedy, one tragedy and an ensemble o f actors and techies who will be paid a living wage — “depending on how many credit card bills you have,” Robison adds. Local auditions are this week. Wannabe players should report to Royall Tyler on Wednesday with a memorized monologue that shows them to their best

making a play for bard says of the media cover lovers, with a “semi-traditional” Romeo and age, which made the Juliet at the end o f July. Says Robison, dream sound like a “Nobody has a monop oly on Shakespeare” . . done deal. . Montpeiier-onWinooski? A number of culturati are investigating the viability o f a Shakespeare Fest in Central Vermont, inspired by plans hatched by Bill B|achly of Unadilla Theater to perform some shows under a tent this sum mer on the river in Montpelier. That’s a far cry from the “major multiple-use facility” hyped in a small article last week in The Burlington Free Press. “It has all been very misleading,” Diane Manion o f Onion River Arts Council says o f the media cover age, which made the dream sound like a done deal. “The ques tion has come up: Does Montpelier want to become a cultural tourism destination? And if so, for what sorts o f events? And where would we put them?” Bricks and mortar, like Stratford and Avon, are still a long way off. '

SECOND SYMPHONY:

Wha«> becttr than an evening with the Vermont Symphony and clarinetist Richard Stoltzman? Back-to-back evenings, o f course. Starting next fall, the sympho ny will double its offerings by programming Friday and Saturday night concerts at the Flynn. “For the last two years we ! have been close to selling out all o f the concerts,” Tom Philion | explains the rationale, “which makes it in essence a limited ! house.” In other words, people who might get turned on to the | symphony are getting turned away. To lure them in, Philion is I programming Friday nights to appeal to younger listeners. ! Popular cross-over headliners include bassist Edgar Meyer, singer | Tish Hinojosa and fiddler Mark O ’Connor. Next thing you ! know, they’ll be applauding between movements.

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SUBSTANTIAL SAVINGS ON THE 1996 NSXT 2.2 CL lease for 36 months. 1st month payments, refundable security deposit of $300, $1199 down and $450 acquisition fee due at lease inception. 12,000 miles per year included 15p per mile thereafter. Tax, title and registration extra. Financing through American Honda Finance Corp. Residual value $14,428.80. Total payments $10,404. Offer ends March 31, 1997. M SR P $22,545.

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Theater Factory clocked its 20th production last ; week, and celebrated after the show with a prop referenced in its ! current production o f Steel Magnolias — a red cake with grey J icing in the shape o f an armadillo. Eventful Catering made the ! confection a reality, “and it tasted good,” says director Candy i Peate. “I think it had a cup o f red food coloring in it.” Number ; two? . . . Guess Christopher Buckley hit the slopes before the ! big dump. In the current issue o f The New Yorker, he details a ; less-than-perfect day skiing with his family in Vermont In a ; ! clipped style, it reads, “W ith dubious child between your legs, | begin snowplowing down several thousand years o f ice covered ! with a thin dusting o f artificial snow. This is Vermont, after all ; — but think how much money you saved by not going to one | o f those expensive places out West” . . . W hen he quits Vermont ! for Minnesota, Flynn Programming Director Philip Bither will j leave behind a legacy — and a big pile o f record albums at ! Yesterday and Today Records in Burlington. Owner Bill J Cloutier made a house call last week to collect 350 o f about ! 2000 Bither discs, which he describes as “a pretty good mix o f ! rock, jazz, reggae and r&b.” Selling off albums “is a pretty emo| tional thing,” Cloutier says. Bither concurs. “I have a personal ! relationship with each o f them.” . . . Anastasia author and Seven ; Days columnist Peter Kurth caught some air on the A & E ! channel Monday night, offering imperial info for a “Biography” j segment about the life o f Rasputin. Although he got the least | amount o f air time, Kurth showed up the other sources, who j offered as much as they knew about role o f Rasputin, and his 1 magic wand, in the sex lives o f czars. □

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oe Boutin is one o f those uncommon creatures: a highly successful — and pro gressive — bank president. Boutin has earned the admiration o f his fellow finan cial kingpins by bringing Merchants Bank back from a scary precipice. The venerable institution, one o f Vermont’s oldest and biggest banks, was placed on a Federal Reserve “watch list” three years ago due to heavy losses from bad real estate loans and other unwise investments. Last June, the feds certified Merchants as financially sound. With unexpected swiftness, Boutin had carried out the res cue mission that he had been recruited to perform. He took over at Merchants in October 1994, after serving as president o f Howard Bank for the previ ous five years. “I wanted to make my mark on an institu tion where I could set the tone,” Boutin explains. Howard, a part o f the giant Banknorth group, “seemed as though it would just get bigger and bigger and maybe lose its community roots.” In addition to the prestige he enjoys within Vermont’s banking industry, Boutin has won the respect o f many local activists. Advocates for lowincome Vermonters — usually restrained in their praise o f bank presidents — are general ly impressed by Boutin’s record at Howard and by his stated commitment to making Merchants “a bank that’s focused on small businesses, their managers and employees, and the communities they live in.” During his tenure at Howard, Boutin supported an investment in the Thelma Maple housing co-op on Archibald Street — “a project that was quite important to Old North End,” notes City Councilor Jane Knodell, an economist and bank monitor. In the Boutin era, Howard Bank also made loans to many women seeking to start small enterprises, notes Dale Lane, head o f the micro-business pro gram at Chittenden Community Action. The trim and affable Burlington resident is himself v deeply rooted in the area. A New Hampshire native, Boutin I has been a local presence ever V , since enrolling at Saint Michael’s College in 1965. It ^ was there he met his wife, Dale, w ithw hom he has ha * four children, all o f them n in their 20s.

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At age 49, Boutin remains very much his father’s son. Not only did Bernard Boutin grad uate from St. Mike’s and go on to become the college’s first lay president; he also headed a major local bank. The older Boutin had prepared for his stewardship o f the college and Burlington Savings-Bank (now Key Bank o f Vermont) by holding senior administrative posts under both Presidents John Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson. retained a Texas-based organi Despite his own achieve zational consulting firm that ments, Joe Boutin displays few specializes in bank restructur o f the trappings often flaunted ing. by leaders o f large financial Boutin eagerly drew con institutions. He works in a centric circles on a piece o f modestly appointed, window scrap paper as he illustrated the less office in Merchants’ subur subsequent plan that reduces ban-style headquarters on the distance between Kennedy Drive in South Merchants’ customers and the Burlington. Boutin twice services they seek. The aim is excused himself during an to provide efficient, friendly, hour-long interview in order to one-stop assistance to anyone answer his own phone. “My contacting the bank. One secretary just had a baby,” he indicative new standard is that off-handedly explained. a caller must never be kept on It’s this hands-on manage hold for more than nine sec ment approach that Boutin will onds. rely on to guide Merchants Boutin actually had no into a competitive, challenging choice but to try to maximize future. Technology plays a big Merchants’ resources. His res role in Joe Boutin’s vision for cue operation entailed a sizable his bank. Noting that “banking human cost, with more than is becoming a self-service half o f the bank’s 530 workers industry,” he has invested heav having lost their jobs since his ily in computerization and in takeover. The pain was eased,' the multi-task training o f he says, by offers o f early retire Merchants’ entire workforce. ment and by “generous” sever The emphasis on electronic ance packages. services stems in part from Morale is good among the focus groups Boutin convened 250 people who currendy work as part o f his effort to reorient for Merchants, the president Merchants. Many current and maintains. In addition to linkpotential customers indicated a ing pay raises to the number o f preference for banking via the new job skills learned, the bank Internet, and Merchants consehas decentralized its operatir - quently strives to be in the J i i putting mobs decisionforefront, locally, o f techno- ^ '■%power in the hands o fi |n ....mm................ : attempt to return Merchants to profitability, Boutin also

e wanted customers to understand that the future o f

the bank depends not on deci sions made at 123 Church Street or on Kennedy Drive, Groton and all our other local branches,” Boutin say& ) | With the closing o f its Burlington corporate offices, Merchants’ central administra tive facilities shrank from 65,000 to 22,000 square feet. “It’s unusual for a bank o f our size to have such a small administrative staff,” Boutin notes. Merchants also experienced an overall reduction in assets as it struggled to recover its foot ing and rebuild its customer base. The bank that previous president Dudley Davis had transformed from a $45 mil lion mouse into an $800 mil lion gorilla now operates as a $600 million lynx. The sleek jungle cat strides through a leafy setting in the new Merchants logo — designed specifically to appeal to women. The imagery reflects Boutin’s decision to put his bank in the vanguard o f the I industry-wide effort to attract : female clients. A recent international con ference in Washington hosted by Hillary Rodham Clinton focused media attention on “micro-lending” initiatives geared mainly toward women. ; Inspired by the nearly leg endary success o f the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh, some o f the more forward-looking financial executives in North America are starting to encour age small^^Qgpnding to female entrepreneurs. Besides being an imagea sound busile Grameen showed, women are

than are men. It was another series o f

.Boutins strategic move to make Merchants a women-welcoming bank. Through these sessions with female business executives and account-hold ers, Merchants learned how to market itself to women more effectively ? ' ' | Almost all the bank’s branch presidents are now women. Boutin also made a point o f adding two female entrepreneurs to Merchants’ board o f directors. It remains to be seen whether all the organizational rearranging and policy retooling will insure a prosperous future for the Merchants Bank. Boutin “has done an amazing job in turn ing things around,” comments Burlington financial consultant Eric Hanson. “N ow the chal lenge is keeping things going. It’s an awfully competitive banking environment out there.” Advocacy groups are also taking a wait-and-see attitude regarding Boutins pledge to take the batik “back to its roots” as a locally-focused institution. Its too eatly to say what Merchants will do for affordable housing and smallscale commercial lending,” says Knodell. “Everyone under stands that the bank couldn’t go forward until its problems were resolved.” ■If Boutin does put empha sis on small-scale lending to women, that will be a first for Merchants, remarks Dale Lane. H e says he has had no dealings with Merchants in his capacity as director o f Chittenden Community Action’s micro business program. Chittenden Bank is the champion in this league, Lane reports. Former Merchants presi dent Davis nevertheless enjoyed a reputation as a community conscious banker willing to take risks on behalf o f borrow ers he deemed trustworthy. Handshake agreements were characteristic o f Davis’ way o f 1 he ex-president was also regarded as a skilled strategist and money-maker, having kept his ever-expanding bank ii 7ears at the helm. But D avis made at least one major miscalculation, His successor observes. H e allowed Merchants to remain deeply involved in commercial real estate le n d in g # a time — )s and early ’90s —

A host o f similarly crucial Continued on page 12

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...R IG H T E O U S S IS T E R Everybody likes the story of the acoustic punker, the ballsy babe who formed her own record label before she was 20. Whose nose ring, shredded jeans, exposed navel and multi-colored hair styles suggest grunge more than folk, and whose frankly explosive, sexu ally ambivalent songs rub Puritans the wrong way. What sometimes gets left out is this: Ani DiFranco can sing like nobody's business; sweet, sassy, girlish, boyish; honest, stunning. She returns in full force to Burlington's Memorial Auditorium this Thursday, having altered her appearance yet again. Look for the one onstage with the bird's-nest hair and the, uh, cleavage.

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WEDNESDAY

JAMES 0 BAND (eclectic), Cactus Cafe, 7 p.m. NC. BOB O'SHEA (singer-songwriter), Blue Couch Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations.

LEOPARD LOUNGE (drag, funk, all-request DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $2. PETIT HAVANA W/NATO, AARON FLINN, TODD MICHAE SMITH . (unplugged), Club Toast, 7 p.m. $1/5. THE DATING GAME (final night!), Club Metronome, 5:30 p.m., NC, followed by CHAD HOLLISTER (groove rock), 9 p.m. NC . DADDY DREAD (reg gae DJ), Last Elm, 9 p.m. Donations. CIRCUS OF SILLUS (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. HEARTATTACK97 (DJs Onionz and Patti), Dockside, 9 p.m. $7/8. DENNIS VEATOR (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. THE MOTHER SOUND (groove rock), Rio’s, Winooski, 8 p.m. NC. AARON HERSEY (funk-jazz), James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley, 4 p.m. NC.

THURSDAY

HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Finnigan’s Pub, 5 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE NIGHT WITH MARKGALBO (acoustic), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. NC. GEORGE PETIT & THE DESIRED EFFECT (jaiz), Halvorson’s, 9 p.m. $2. ORANGE 9MM, UNSANE, HANDSOME (hardcore), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $7. INVISIBLE JET, WIDE WAIL (alt-rock), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $3. BUZZ NIGHT (alt DJ), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $2 after 11 p.m. TEXAS TWISTER (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FUNKS-G (fusion rock), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. NC. MATT MCGIBNEY & FRIENDS (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. DENNIS VEATOR (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. SOMAH (groove rock), Rio’s, Winooski, 8 p.m. NC . GORDON STONE TRIO (bluegrass-jazz), James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley, 8 p.m. NC. TNT (karaoke &C DJ), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. NC. JIM & IAN (DJs), Charlie-o’s, Montpelier, 9 p.m. NC. THE MANDOLINQUENTS (swing-grass), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. OPEN MIKE, Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. NC. BRUCE SKLAR TRIO (jazz), Common Man, Warren, 8 p.m. NC. JULIE TILLER BLUES BAND, Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 p.m. $4.

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FRIDAY

CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Wndjammer, 5 p.m. NC. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Finnigan’s Pub, 5 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic) Ruben James, 5 p.m., followed by SANDOZE (CD listening party), 9 p.m. NC. TOM CLEARY (jazz piano), Mona’s Jazz Bar, 6:30 p.m. NC. TORTISE & FRIENDS (love-child rocket machine), Java Love, 9 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. NC. AERIUS (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. RED TELEPHONE. GUP PYBOY, ZOLA TURN (surf, alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $3/5. PURE PRESSURE (funk, r&b), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $4. SENSIBLE SHOES (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. JAY NASH (blues), Mr. Mike’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. SNAPPIN' GOMEZ (rock), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. NC. WHALEN & SEMLER BLUES BAND, Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. GENERAL TOM THUMB'S BAND (hobo rock), Last Elm, 9 p.m. Donations. NASTY HABIB (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. EMPTY POCKEB (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. WALT ELMORE & A ll THAT JAZZ, Tuckaway’s, Sheraton, 9 p.m. NC. MOBILE MUSIC MACHINE (DJ), Breakers Club & Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. HECKLE, IN HARM'S WAY, LAST IN LINE (punk), The Rathskellar, Saint Michael’s College, Colchester, 8:30 p.m. NC. DAVID GRAVELIN (singer-writer), Williston Coffee House, 8 p.m. $4. ALTERNATIVE DJ, James Moore Iavern, Bolton Valley, 7 p.m. NC. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $2. JETHRO MONEY (rock), Charlie-o’s, Montpelier, 10 p.m. NC. WILLIE B. STEELE & JELLY ROLE JAM (folk-blues), Main Street Bar & Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 9 p.m. $3. SANDRA WRIGHT BUIES BAND, Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC(rock), Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. $2. BOB O'SHEA (singer-songwriter), Cuppa’s Coffee House, Stowe, 8 p.m. $2. JIM SCOTT (singer-songwriter), Food for Thought, Stowe, 8 p.m. $7-10. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 p.m. $5. MIKE DEVERS & LAUSANNE ALLEN (acoustic singer-songwriters), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m. NC. ALBERT OTIS BLUES BAND, Cafe Banditos, Smugglers Notch, Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m. $3. DIAMOND JIM JAZZ BAND, Diamond Jim’s Grille, St. Albans, 8 p.m. NC.

rhythm & news BY PAMELA P0LST0N

ZOLA TURNOVER

t h

HERBAN STYLZ

* * * *

135 M a in S tre e t * 658-0345 m l * M o n -Sa t F r id a y s T il Sundays

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The drummer for Burlington’s only toutes-femmes rock quartet, Ann Mindell, is headed to graduate school for an MSW, possibly as early as June. This means a big personnel shift for Zola Turn, who were just about to go into the stu dio to record their first CD. Singer-songwriter-gui tarist Jenn Karson says the band will pause to find a new drummer — male or female — before head ing to Joe Egan’s Eclipse Studio. “We’re going to be doing a home recording, though, to document what we’ve done together,” says Karson. The closeknit group doesn’t want to change their sound too much, she adds, but acknowledges that a new per son with a different style would make a difference. What are they looking for? “Somebody who really likes our music, ideally someone who can con tribute as a member o f the band,” she says. “Ann’s style is specific, we don’t expect to find someone else that similar. One thing good about her is, she really understands the songs and the sentiment behind them. That’s really helpful to make us feel

like a more powerful unit.” Drummers, heads up.

UNPLUGGED UPDATE The biggest news is, just two weeks after losing its City Market turf, Burlington Coffeehouse has a new home: The Blue Couch Cafe (formerly Cafe N o No). Although the parking situation is not ideal at this Old North Ends crossroads, the room is warm and user-friend ly. Burlington Coffeehouse organizer Jeff Miller has joined forces with Blue Couch (hey! they have the same initials) director Dawn Smith, who’d already transformed the former cyber cafe into a multi-pur pose community center. Miller will inaugurate his new stage with singer-songwriter Cosy Sheridan on March 21, and expects to start Wednesday night Open Mikes shortly thereafter... Meanwhile, my retort to the Free Press in last week’s column about acoustic junctions inspired an addendum from Phil Hamerslough, who’s looking for quiet-type musi cians to entertain the Saturday lunch crowd at his Greatful Bread bakery/deli in Essex. In April, he says, he’s thinking about Monday-WednesdayFriday evenings, too. Call 878-4466, or just pop in and play for him. Gotta be lots o f dough... And our favorite corporate giant, Barnes & Noble, is C o n tin u e d on p a g e 10

Got something to tell Rhythm & News? Call Pamela at (802) 864.5684. Or mail your tip to P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VI 05402, or e-mail to sevenday@together.net.

BAND NAME OF THE WEEK: S E V E N DAY S

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SATURDAY

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KRAU5S, VAN GULDEN & WARNER (jazz), Monas Jazz Bar, 7 p.m. NC. BLUE JAZZ QUARTET, Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. TELLURIAN SKY (flowers for the children), Java Love, 9 p.m. NC. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. LITTLE MARTIN (retro DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. AARON FLINNS SALAD DAYS (funk; C D release party), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $3, fol lowed by RETRONOME (funk, disco, ’80s DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. NC. SANDOZE, MIGHTY PURPLE, ANGRY SALAD (alt rock; Sandoze C D release), Club Toast, 9:30 pm. $3/5. ADAM ROSENBERG (acoustic covers), Mr. Mike’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. KATE BARCLAY (acoustic rock-pop), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. NC. CHIN HO!, JOSHE HENRY ( modern rock, lo-fi), Last Elm, 9 p.m. Donations. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. NC. LOST POSSE (bluegrass), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. N C . NASTY HABITS (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. JENNI JOHNSON (jazz, blues vocals), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. MOBILE MUSIC MACHINE (DJ), Breakers Club & Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. ACOUSTIC MUSIC, Greatful Bread, Essex, noon. NC. AARON HERSEY TRIO (jazz-funk), James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley, 3, 9 p.m. NC. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $2. MARK LEGRAND & SARAH MUNRO (folk), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 8 p.m. NC. FRY DADDY (rock), Charlie-o’s, Montpelier, 9:30 p.m. NC. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rockabilly), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 4 p.m. NC, followed by VIPER HOUSE (acid jazz), 9:30 p.m. $3. FULL MOON HEART (acoustic), Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 5 p.m. NC, followed by LIVE MUSIC (rock), 8:30 p.m. $2. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 p.m. $5. QUADRA (rock), Cafe Banditos, Smugglers Notch, Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m. $3.

r PATRICK'S D

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Monday, March

Doors open 8 am-Free Bi Free t-shirts to first 50 folks!

Orink specials all day! 9 pmSeth Yacovone, $3 cover after 9 pm!

SUNDAY

ACOUSTIC BRUNCH, City Market, 11 a.m. NC. ACOUSTIC SUNRISE BRUNCH (open jam), Java Love, 11 a.m. NC. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Finnigan’s Pub, 5 p.m. NC. FLEX RECORD NIGHT (dub DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. N C . TNT (karaoke & DJ), Thirsty Turtle, 8 p.m. NC. LAR DUGGAN (jazz piano), Main

159MainStreet • Burlington• 864.0744

Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 11 a.m. NC.

.... .. .....

MONDAY

HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish; St. Patrick’s Day celebration), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 5 p.m. NC. GRATEFUL JAVA JELLY (open grateful/blues jam), Java Love, 8 p.m. NC. REEL TIME (rock), Nectar’s, 6 p.m., followed by THE X-RAYS, 9:30 p.m. NC. LIPSLIDE, DROWNINGMAN (alt-core), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $3/5. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 9 a.m. NC; SETH YACOVONE (blues), 9 p.m. $3. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. NC. WOMEN'S NIGHT (dinner), Last Elm, 6 p.m. $2. ALLEY CAT JAM (rock-blues), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. MOBILE MUSIC MACHINE (DJ; dance lessons), Breakers Club & Cafe, 7 p.m. $5.

TUESDAY

THE BURLYTOWN BEANERY OPEN MIC KNIGHT (acoustic), Java Love, 7 p.m. NC. AUDIBLE GRUNTS (formerly Strung Out, groove rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK: HITS OF THE '80S (DJ), Club Toast, 10 p.m. No cover/$5 under 21. CURRENT LY NAMELESS, FOXTROT ZULU (groove), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE (all genres), Breakers Club & Cafe, 8 p.m. NC. KACHINA (Latin jazz), Rio’s, Winooski, 9 p.m. NC. MIKE DEVERS & LAUSANNE ALLEN (contemporary folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m. NC.

...IM P O R T A N C E OF BEIN G E A R N E S T

Bob O'Shea writes sincere, romantic and sentimental, and sings intense, pas sionate, committed. You'd think he was a protestor, but he turns out to be a lover. The Maryland-based singer-songwriter, winter ing in Stowe, reportedly gave up six figures for six strings. His full-band CD, Everyonce In Awhile, is a pop-rock throwback, a little Cat Stevens, a little Neil Diamond, jazzed up. This week offers four opportunities to check out the man-with-guitar ver sion: Wednesday at the Blue Couch, Friday at Cuppa's in Stowe, Saturday at Barnes & Noble, and Monday at the Shed in Stowe.

...U R B A N R EN EW A L Or is it decay? Three of New York's most deafening bands team up to launch a not-so-secret sonic attack on Burlington. We're talkin' diabolic street shit. Scathing. Obnoxious. Gritty. And a whole lotta angst throwing zowee. Orange 9mm (left), Unsane and Handsome repre sent the Big Apple at Toast this Thursday. Don't forget your earplugs. A ll clubs in B u rlin gton unless otherw ise noted. NC= No Cover.Also look fo r Sound Advice at http://www.bigheavyworld.com/seven.days/

B ytP am ela

PoUton

AAR0NFLINN,

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G o d CD) — Aaron Elinn definitely marches to the sound o f a different drummer. In fact, the Berklee-trained guitarist and ^ « prodigious songwriter plays his own drums on this debut C D , Rattle. Not to mention everything else. The Charlotte native stood out onstage as a mere teen, ranking at the Battle o f the Bands with two high-school out-

fits called Sweet Revenge and Rage. : Last fall he reclaimed the local spot light by taking first place in Advance

ma r c h

12,

1997

Music’s Annual Guitar Search. Now, at 27, whether playing with his band Salad Days in Burlington or a the Heritage and Jazz Festival in New'Orleans, Flint displays more originality in one fin-

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(“Only Dream"), Flinns instincts are almost rod foresee a career as a composer more than frontm anything, he’s too sophisticated for pop; the son] memorable, and, except for a brief line from Tht “Norwegian Wood” in the middle o f “The Is So anything else. But repeated listenings draw you i ed at a Florida studio and Charles Eller Studio ii an impressive introduction to an unusual talent, unplugged this Wednesday, with Nato and Todd Toast’s Petit Havana, and Saturday for a C D relt Days, at Metronome.

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RHYTHM&NEWS C ontinued from page 8

getting into the act, too. After all, they do have a coffeehouse on the premises. Stowe songsmith Bob O ’Shea performs there this Saturday. Got Starbucks in your eyes?... One o f Burlington’s most free-spirited acoustic venues, unfortunately, is a little too onthe-edge, and I’m not talkin’ caf feine. “Java Love is having a hard time, struggling through a diffi cult winter,” says owner Paul Behrman, who’s offered peace, love and lattes — and free music — for a couple o f years at North Winooski and Pearl. He’s looking for help, but doesn’t know what to ask for. After all, coffee doesn’t cost much, and he doesn’t want to charge for the entertainment, which occurs several times a week and features the most creatively named outfits in town. “I like the spirit o f the free music,” says Behrman, adding, “this is the type o f town where it’s difficult for any small business to make it, so it’s important that people get out to support the ones they like.” The former lawyer turned sole propri etor says he has “faith that the place is going to make it, but it’s hard... I wanna get the word out and survive rather than not say anything and quietly peter out. I’d just like to see it be here for all the people who enjoy it.” Right on. So please buy some o f your java at the Love — and how about a benefit, people?

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HARKI Former Vermont guitar whiz Sean Harkness (Zero Gravity, Anne’s Band, among others) has been signed on to a Windham Hill compilation album, due out this May, entitled Summer Solstice. “I got the title

page

10,

S E V E N DAYS

track,” says Harkness. “It’s the first song.” He had to change the title to suit the label, however — the original was “Ryan’s Barbeque.” The compilation will also include a dozen W H regulars like Michael Hedges, Liz Story and Michael Mannering, and one other “fledgling” act. Now living in Queens, Harkness does what he loves best — play guitar — for a living, gigging regularly with Funkestra, “my rent band,” and pulling down music jobs in the theater world as well. Meanwhile, he’s still strumming for Chad Hollister, whose four-piece “acoustic rhythmic rock” band will showcase this Wednesday night at Metronome. Welcome back to the ’nome stage, Sean. SINGLE TRACKS Just a reminder: The Newark Balkan Chorus — that’s the nine-piece a cappella girl group from Newark, Vermont, mentioned on these pages a cou ple weeks back — will perform on “Prairie Hom e Companion” this Saturday, aired on WVPR at 6 p .m .... The much-traveled Jazz Mandolin Project is about two weeks into a national tour, in Minnesota right about now and headed southwest, then southeast, culminating April 5 at New York’s Knitting Factory. W hew ... Congratulations to St. Albans songstress Kate Barclay, who just captured an Opportunity Grant for Artist Development award from the Vermont Arts C ouncil... Phish get more good press this week — in the form of two glowing letters to the editor in Rolling Stone, responding to the last issues pheature... □

ma r c h

12,

1997

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fin an cial analysis By Ruth Horowitz ona Riff, this w eek’s speeding bullet on the local club circuit, lives on hand-rolled cigarettes, highoctane coffee and head-banging m usic. But she w onders how long the good tim es w ill roll, and w hether there’s som e w ay to turn today’s w indfall into tom orrow ’s nest egg. Fresh ou t o f fancy cook in g school w ith a prom ising position at the D ead M eat Cafe, Julia B. Stroganoff is ready to get hitched and buy her dream house in the

health insurance or a retirement plan. H an son ’s advice: M ona needs to construct her ow n benefits package. H ealth insurance and pen sion plans are expensive. Em ployers cou n t on paying out an additional 3 3 percent o f their workers’ salaries to provide these benefits. M ona needs to give herself this sam e cushion. First, she should make sure she’s

C o m m u n ity H ealth Plan. Or, as a freelancer, she can join a small business organization like Business Review Services and buy into its Blue C ross/Blue Shield group plan. Either way, M ona should figure on spend ing between $ 110 and $ 130 a m onth.

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day in the blurry distance w hen she’ll wake up and consider her self too old to rock ’n’ roll. T h e earlier she starts saving, the more she’ll have later. As H anson puts it, “T h e power

fortunately, those mean m en at the bank took one look at Julia’s student loan balance and said ix-nay on a mortgage. W hen he’s not shredding at Sugarbush or m aking beer runs in his

o f co m p o u n d ing is so pow erful it alm ost

• -

W elcom e to the im aginary class o f 1990, w hose m em bers still d on ’t know h ow they’re goin g to m ake it to the next

and her fixed expenses and search for areas where she can save, such as eating ou t less often or giving up those sm okes.

century. W e took one look at the state o f their financial affairs and brought them

O n ce she’s found som e extra cash,

straight to Burlington invest m ent counselor Eric H anson. O bviously, the nam es o f our

M ona’s top priority should be health

trio are fictitious, but their

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m axed-out Mastercard.

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m onetary m uddles ring true for all too m any tw entysom ethings. A nd H an son ’s recom m enda tions are all too real. M ona m ay be on e o f a kind on the bass guitar, but her ec o n om ic profile, according to H anson, is typical o f the selfem ployed. Because she doesn ’t have just on e steady em ployer, M ona’s in com e can fluctuate

T h ou gh she could probably scrape up en ou gh spare change to

o f instant gratifi cation. His party now; pay later attitude ju s t isn t

cover the occa sional an tib iot ic, a cata

dram atically from m onth to

strophic illness — or treatm ent for that w orsening tendonitis

m onth. A nd the flat rate she receives from each venue she

— w ou ld devastate her budget. As an individual, M ona can

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1997

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12,

1997

MONEY TALKS... so why can’t we talk about it: By Peter Kurth uick, folks, what’s the last taboo? What’s the one thing in America nobody wants to talk about, even when they’ve told you the most inti mate details o f their marriages and their sex lives, their diseases and compulsions, their addic tions, their abortions, their depressions, and so on? What’s the one thing Americans are still ashamed of? If you answered “money,” you’re right on the button. I don’t mean money in the gener ic sense. I mean your money, the size of your bank account, your personal worth. Last week, like Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis in her roving photographer phase, I went out on the street to ask the ques tion, “Why are people so reluc tant to talk about their

come and see me.” • From Bernie Sanders, who happened to be sitting at Uncommon Grounds: “Oh, look, well, that’s a, uh, I’m not, o f course, this isn’t the appro priate, uh, as a congressman, I mean, I’d have to decline, I th ink ...” • From Jane Sanders, bewil dered, to Bernie: “What? We talk about it all the time. We have to disclose.” • From a wait-person, male, at a Church Street eatery: “Because it’s like talking about the size o f your penis. If it’s big enough, you don’t need to, and if it’s not — well, you figure it ^» out. After about 10 minutes o f this, I realized I wasn’t going to come up with a unified theory o f Financial Phobia in time to meet my deadline, so I decided to run it by some experts. My

pie have no real idea o f the value o f money, only its sup posed value, and so they’re always comparing themselves against the next guy: “What’s he doing? How much has he got? There’s an awful lot o f lying.” I said it sounded to me like the penis thing all over again, and Dick said it was, only worse, because it wasn’t con fined to men, and while all o f these business honchos were sneaking peeks at each other in the corporate shower, millions o f people were starving to death. (I’m glad to report that since he left banking, my brother has developed one of the sharpest social consciences in Darien, Connecticut.) Penises put me in mind of psychiatrists, naturally enough, so I next got on the phone with Dr. Todd Mandell, who exam ines heads at the Brattleboro

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finances?” Here are some o f the responses, in no particular order: • From a woman at the Grand Union check-out counter: “It’s none o f your business.” • From a retired executive, cur rently living at Wake Robin: “I’d rather not say.” • From a Burlington woman who has risen from the welfare rolls to the pinnacle of success: “Because if you talk about money with men they think you can’t know anything about it, and if you talk about money with women they think you’re showing off. Frankly, I don’t ever want to talk about money again.” • From a yuppie matron brows ing the stacks at Chassman & Bern: “Well, you don't talk about money, do you? I mean, do you?” • From a well-known local stockbroker, Republican, wear ing what looked to me like a vicuna coat: “How’s the writ ing, Pete? Come and see me,

ma r c h

12,

1997

brother, for instance, Mr. Richard P. Kurth, who until recently was an investment banker in New York City. For years Dick has been telling me that money is entirely imagi nary, “just numbers on paper spoken through the air,” and that everyone’s attitude toward it is based, at some level, in fear. “Money is the only mea surement o f worth and success that Americans are willing to accept as being meaningful,” Dick says. “It’s the only marker we use to judge each other and ourselves. So people are inse cure. On the one hand, they want you to know that they’re familiar with the system, that they’re on to things, they’ve got a place at the table, they’re doing okay. On the other hand, they’re scared shitless, because they know that none o f it’s real and they could go down the tubes at any minute.” In the business world no less than any other, my brother thinks, peo-

Retreat, and who informed me that “even in a therapeutic set ting it’s harder to get people to talk about money than almost anything else.” “I think it’s probably tied in with self-esteem,” said Mandell, “but if you ask different people, you’ll get different responses.” I said I knew that and what else could he suggest. “Well, I’m not the one to say,” he replied. “No therapist is. People have to pay for their therapy, after all, so it’s awk ward. I know there’s something in the literature about it, but I can’t remember what.” I’d like to assure you all that Dr. Mandell is a consummate professional, my personal favorite among shrinks world wide, but I’d obviously caught him at a busy moment. He said he’d check with one o f his col leagues to find out “what were telling people in med school about this,” but in the meanContinued on page 2 4

S E V E N DAYS

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INVESTING C ontinued from page 11 With over 6000 banks, mutual taken out today would be at 8.25 percent interest. If Julia funds and insurance agencies offering IRAs in a nearly limit feels confident that her income will increase, she can set up a less variety o f portfolio mixes, graduated repayment plan that Mona can throw herself into starts low and inflates. Or she her investments lock, stock might opt for an income-sensi and bond, following every tive plan that can be renegoti move the market makes and ated annually for up to five juggling her investments years. accordingly. Or she can con By paying more than the centrate on her music and let amount indicated on her state her future take care o f itself. ment, Julia can reduce her Julia can t take care o f her principal, lessen the amount of future until she takes care o f interest she her past. One owes, and o f the ironies pay her loan . o f the student M ona can throw off sooner. If loan system, she’s as care Hanson herself into her ful about observes, is meeting her that it expects its beneficiaries investments lock, payments as she is about to start mak seasoning ing their stock and bond\ her sauces, repayments and if she just when their Or she can con doesn’t run earnings are up any other entry-level, at debts in the best. Hanson centrate on her meantime, sympathizes Julia can use with Julias music and let her her student frustration, loan experi but he has to ence to fu tu re take care agree with establish a those bankers. credit rating His words of o f itself that will wisdom: First knock the get rid o f the socks off her buddies at the student loan, then start saving bank and send her away for the house. dreaming about Home Sweet - vAgenciissJiketthe Vermont

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While Mona can’t stop thinking about tomorrow and Julia whistles “Yesterday,” Stanley is decidedly stuck in the here-and-now trap of instant gratification. His party now, pay later attitude just isn’t responsible. It comes danger ously close to being an addic tion. Hanson, who admits to having cut a similar figure in his younger days, issues the Studmeister a simple warning: Stop charging so much, or at the very least find yourself the cheapest credit card on the market. Credit cards vary dramati cally. Some have finance charges as high as 18 percent and little or no annual fees. Others balance interest rates as low as 10 percent with significandy higher annual fees. Someone with a balance as high as Stan’s wants the low interest/high annual fee type. Consumer Reports or a similar publication should help him shop around. Meanwhile, Stan should use a computer pro gram like Quicken to analyze his cash flow and help him get a grip on his spending. If that doesn’t work, he might consid er a 12-step program for com pulsive spenders. With or with out formal help, the world is full o f guys — and gals -— who find their born-to-be-wild ways becoming born-to-be-indebted — and simply grow up. □

ma r c h

12,

1997

THE COST OF REALLY LIVING Cashing

in capitalism fo r quality

Bv Nancy Stearns Bercaw

w ith Vermont. Kaufman, now a talk-show host at W F A D radio in M iddlebury and a freelance illustrator,

cam e back w ith a video camera to d ocum ent their options. T h e couple picked picturesque M iddlebury

erm ont’s for sale. A nd all us flatlanders b ought the m yth. There are now as m any urban refugees in

based on Kaufman’s footage and conversations in the com m unity.

the Green M ountain State as Jerseys — people w ho fled their high-profile positions, high-rise apart m ents and high-brow aesthetics

aged to w rite a few episodes from here, but I wasn’t happy in that business, anyway. Financially, it has been a struggle for u s.” But w orth every penny, she adds. Kirgo and Kaufm an have a 13-year-old daughter and a 9-year-old son. T h ey cite the school and alarm system s as the pri m ary reasons for leaving Los

to relax in picture-perfect, p.c. harmony.

A ngeles. Even thou gh they were living in a “g ood neighbor

But U top ia d idn ’t com e

M aintaining the virtuous image has hidden costs, like specialfees fo r trash disposal and extra fu n d s fo r organic vegetables. B u t the biggest price o f all? Your career.

cheap. T h o u g h real estate m ay be relatively affordable — you get more house for your m oney — taxes can be high dep en din g

h o o d ,” their fortress was invad ed. “A ll that is so unnatural,” Kirgo declares. D ic k and Flanzy C hod kow sk i cam e, saw and

on where you buy. M aintaining

concurred. T h ey fled Los

the virtuous im age has hidden

A ngeles and huge w in dow s o f

costs, like special fees for trash

o p portu nity in the advertising

disposal and extra funds for

and film industries for the lure

organic vegetables. But the

o f u nlocked doors. R olling hills,

biggest price o f all? Your career.

they d ecided, had m ore appeal

John Rosenberg, currently

than rolling in the bucks. Since

the editor o f Harvard Magazine

1 9 9 1 , they’ve been selling used

in C am bridge, M assachusetts,

b ooks from their barn in M iddlebury.

spent four years in M iddlebury as the editor o f Vermont

“T h e final straw was that

Magazine. A lthough he enjoyed

som eon e broke in w hile D ick

his stint here, R osenberg co u ld

was sleeping and I was m aking

n’t shed his big-city sensibility.

breakfast,” Flanzy recalls. “T h e

H e w anted his m on ey back.

cops said w e needed bars on the

"I thou ght the work was

w in dow s. You find yourself

w onderful and we lived in a

thinking, ‘G od, I can’t leave the

relaxed, easy way. But over tim e I was looking for a bigger pro

w in dow s o p en and leave a room .’”

fessional opportunity, and m y w ife was look in g for specific H

legal w ork,” he explains. “In so doing, w e gave up the ease and

T h e C hodkow skis also were fed up w ith the Spago crowd and a w orld where yo u ’re m ea sured by your possessions. T h ey

sim plicity o f day-to-day living.

BALANCING ACT

W e gained professional and cu l

Flanzy Chodkowski and her husband bagged L.A. for books in Middlebury.

have all the titles they w ant in M onroe Street Books. D ick says that h e’s never been happier in

tural opportunities, access to a more diverse group o f people and

his life.

intellectual challenges.” But for Julie Kirgo, w h o replaced Rosenberg at

“T h e thing that’s great about M iddlebury is that it offers w hat we were afraid w e’d be m issing. W e’ve m et

M iddlebury, in particular, seem s to have that affect on film industry folks. T h e quintessential quaint town

Vermont Magazine, the buck stopped here. She fled a

a lot o f other artists, writers and academ ics,” says

offers p oetic justice. It’s a place w here people leave

lucrative H ollyw ood career in search o f a safe place to

Kirgo, w ho scripted such popular television shows as

m o tio n pictures to see the big one.

raise a family. O n a w eekend jaunt from N ew York in

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1986 after years o f vacationing here. The former press secre C ontinued from page 15 tary to Ed King, governor o f Massachusetts from 1978story. He had an attack of 1982, said good-bye to a pres Thoreau-like proportions in tigious political career with the early 7 0 s and traded a The New England Council, piece o f the action for peace and quiet. These days, he does the largest regional business lobbying group in the country. n’t have to count his sheep to He said hello to his own pub sleep at night — they are safe lic relations and lobbying firm, and sound, outside in the New England Public Affairs barn. “When I was just out of Inc. “I created a professional life college I had some pretty out here in Vermont,” he explains. rageous luck,” says the author o f Tbumbtripping, a book that “But Vermont gave birth to a whole new quality o f life. It’s a compared reckless hitchhiking great place to bring up kids, to the psychedelic experience. and we’ve brought up two who “The title entered the national are wonderful human beings lexicon. Without realizing it, I with a strong sense o f environ had my pulse on the culture at ment.” that time.” A recovering city slicker, Mitchell was hot commod Morris found splendor in the ity at 22. But, he says, the grass. “I’m into gardening. You kind o f success writers spend know that their lives try old expres ing to get felt “The thing that's sion ‘take the accidental to time to smell him. Oddly enough,the great about the roses?’ That was the Vietnam War we put it into M iddlebury is lesson learned,” he perspective. “I says, adding was about to that it offers what that he now get drafted can differen and some pro ducers assured we were afraid tiate a flower from a weed. me I could “There’s not buy my way we'd be missing. enough out. That did money to n’t feel right,” drag us out. he recalls. “I We've m et a lot o f We’ve finally feel fortunate a place to have been other artists, found that we can shown what call home.” life is like at writers and the top o f the Transplanted cultural heap. It’s hard to academics." Vermonters find that know if you’re exporting the doing the — Julie Kirgo, myth is as right thing, much fun as but you should know Editor; Vermont living it. One de rigueur if you’re doing rite o f pas the wrong Magazine sage in the thing.” first year o f As a con scientious objector, he and his residency is to ship Green wife spent two years in alterna Mountain goodies to all your friends who didn’t have the tive community service in dollars and sense to move here. Pennsylvania. Afterwards, they “Back to the basics” has settled in Vermont for “no par ticular reason” other than to be become big business — from Woody Jackson’s cash cows to legit. They decided to raise Ben &CJerry’s Phish Food — sheep almost by default, as a and with every shipment dairy farm was too expensive. comes the following message: Mitchell now teaches screen This is a pristine and peaceful writing, and Thoreau, at Middlebury College. He’s writ place where people still have value. Even playwright David ten books and columns aboutMamet, a part-time Calais resi life in a northern town. “New England is a reposi dent, swears by it. tory for the most deeply held And for those who want their own share o f the moral American values. It has a landscape, there are businesses national status that no other region has,” he waxes. “I think to help them — like Foulsham Farms Real Estate in South Vermont is the greatest place in the United States to raise Burlington, which caters children... if that’s what a soci specifically to rich yuppies on the run from cities. ety cares about.” Enlightened exiles inevit But every new arrival . ably bring their acumen along. brings more o f what we left And many make it work for behind. Maybe it’s time to tell them. Jerry Morris moved to the world: Vermont is sold out, Burlington from Boston in after all. □

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p.m. Cambridge Gym. Free. Info, 64 ‘JUMP, SNEEZE & STAY DRY": Wednesday, March 19,7 p.m. Mann Hall, Trinity College, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-2278. Urinary incontinence is

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‘LIVING W ITH DEMENTIA’: Thursdays, March 13 & 20, 6-9 p.m. Elderly Services, Middlebury. Free. Register, 800-698-

MY ACHING BACK*: March 19, 7 p.m. Fletcher Allen Free. Info, 865-2278.

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‘MEDICINE SHOW*: Wednesday, March 19, 7 p.m. Milton Family Practice. Free. Register, 865-2278. Take

INTRO TO CYBERSKILLS: Wednesday, March 19, 6-8 p.m. Department of Employment & Training, Burlington. Free to Old North End residents and unemployed people. Register, 860-4057.

your medications with you for a pharma cist’s analysis. ‘EXPAN! EXPERIENTIAL ANATO MY": Five Mondays, March 17 - April 21, 7 p.m. 164 St. Paul St., Burlington. $60. Register, 860-2814. Learn effective ways to

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STORYTELLING FOR TEACHERS: Wednesday, March 12, 4-6:30 p.m. Flynn Theatre, Burlington. $18. Register, 863-8778. Ms. Frizzle teaches

teachers how to transport students to differ ent worlds.

voice

VOCAL MASTER CLASS: Tuesday, March 18, 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. Concert Hall, Middlebury College. Free. Info, 443MIDD. Elly Ameling teaches.

writing WRITERS WORKSHOP: Tuesdays, 7 p.m. Blue Couch Cafe, Burlington. Donations. Take a journal and your writ ing Spirit.

AUTHENTIC MOVEMENT: Thursdays through April 10, 7:30-9 p.m. Earth Dance Healing Arts Studio, Burlington. $100. Register, 863-9079.

kung fu C H ’UAN FA KUNG FU: Thursdays, 5:30-7 p.m. Sc Sundays, 4-5:30 p.m. Earth Dance Healing Arts Studio, Burlington. $40 per month*. Info, 8601443. Practice a martial art rooted in

Bonnie Morrissey teaches this meditative form ofspontaneous movement. SWING LESSONS: Mondays, 5:306:30 p.m. and 6:30-7:30 p.m. Blue Couch Cafe, Burlington. $8 per class. Info and register, 656-1636. Learn to

spiritual and physical training. All ages and abilities are welcome.

- the original style of swing.

meditation

health

‘SEAWEED FOR HEALTH’: Sunday, March 16, 1-4 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Burlington. $25. Register, 865HERB. Sample the variety ofgiftsfrom

the sea available these days, and learn why you should consume them. ARTHRITIS EXERCISES: Monday,

tai chi

TAI CHI: Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. & 8-9 p.m. Food For Thought, Stowe. $10. Info, 253-4733. John DiCarlo leads ongo

VIPASSANA MEDITATION: Sundays, 10-11 a.m. Burlington Yoga Studio. Free. Info, 658-YOGA. MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambala Center. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors

teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist practices.

yoga

YOGA: Evening, day & weekend class es. Beecher Hill Yoga, Hinesburg. Info, 482-3191, Callfor information about

yogafor health and well-being, for preg nancy and private instruction. BURLINGTON YOGA STUDIO: Daily, Burlington Yoga Studio, 174 Main St. Info, 658-YOGA. Classes are

offered in Astanga, Iyengar, Kripalu and Bikram styles. Beginners can start anytime. HATHA YOGA: Tuesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Earth Dante Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington. $8 or 10 classes for $70. Info, 860-3991. Lisa Limoge teaches; the

first class isfree.

LIST J/CUR CLASS: Follow the format, includins a to to 20 word detcriptive sentence. Mail or walk it in. with $5 for one week or $13 for a month, by the Thursday before publication.

Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 656-4455. 40TH ARMY BAND: Vermont’s only military band plays the “The Music of America.” Shelburne Community Schoool, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-3331. MUSICIANS FROM MARLBORO: Chamber works by Mozart, Schubert, Brahms and Horne are performed by the touring arm of the Marlboro Music Festival. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $ 1420. Info, 800-639-1383. MARTY MORRISSEY: Celebrate St. Paddy with Celtic music at Dearleap Books, Bristol, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

d a n c e LATINO DANCE PARTY: A live Latino deejay serves up the salsa. CB’s, Essex Junction, 9:30 p.m. $5. Info, 878-5522. SWINGSET: Second Saturday Dancing hosts Allison Mann, Colin McCaffrey, Lee Gillis, Glendon Ingalls and Rich Magnuson. Unitarian Church, Montpelier, A one-hour lesson starts at 7:30 p.m. $4. Open dancing at 8:30 p.m. costs $6. Info, 223-4165.

d ra m a ‘STEEL MAGNOLIAS’: See March 12. ‘FEAST OF SHAKESPEARE’: The Fairfax Community Theater Company per forms a collection of favorite Shakespeare scenes. Fletcher Union Meeting House, 7 p.m. $8. Info, 849-2120. DINNER THEATER: Jim Hogue mixes Moli£re and mostaccioli at a dinner-the ater production of The Doctor in Spite o f Himself. Villa Tragara, Waterbury Center, 6:30 p.m. $35. Reservations, 244-5288. TALENT SEARCH: Burlington’s most infamous drag queens, Cherie Tartt and Yolanda, search for guests to appear on their cable television show. Blue Couch Cafe, Burlington, 9 p.m. Free. Info, 865- 5066.

©Saturday m u s ic DUKE ROBILLARD BAND: The axman for the Fabulous Thunderbirds — and founder of Roomful of Blues —

k i d s ‘KIDS’ N IGH T OUT: The women’s

I s /c o f f e e , e tc .jf | lp

etc BATTERED W OMEN’S SUPPORT GROUP: See March 12, 9:30-11 p.m. IRISH HERITAGE FESTIVAL: Anjelica Huston narrates Daughters o f the Troubles — a gripping documentary about Northern Ireland seen through the eyes of its mothers, wives and daughters. Hauke Building, Champlain College, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 660-1044. NATIVE AMERICAN PROGRAM: The Dawnland Center hosts Abenaki dancing, storytelling by Wolfsong and music by the Moose Spirit Drum. Spaulding High School, Barre, 7 p.m. $4. Info, 229-0601. ‘ABENAKI MEMORIES’: An original multi-media presentation features a his torical tour of dances, artifacts and cus toms. Dibden Center for the Arts, Johnson State College, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 635-1386. COUPLES YOGA: Nurture any type of relationship by breathing, playing and stretching together. Beginners are welcome at the Burlington Yoga Studio, 7 p.m. $30 per couple. Register, 658-YOGA. TEEN VARIETY SHOW: Storyteller Peter Burns hosts an evening of potato jousting and performance art in a relaxed, drug-free atmosphere. Spectrum One Stop, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-5396. LESBIGAY YOUTH SUPPORT MEETING: Lesbian, bisexual, gay and “questioning” folks under 23 are wel come at Outright Vermont, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

w c rds ‘LIVE LONG, DIE FAST’: Seventynine-year-old physician John Bland dis cusses the recommendations in his new lively book about dying. Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

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basketball team hosts an evening of games and activities for children. Ross Sports Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 5-9 p.m. Free. Register, 6542500. STORY HOUR: Toddlers listen to sto ries at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

• B u d /B u d L ig h t 1 6 o z . p in ts $ 5 first on e x $ 1 .5 0 r e fills a ll d a y / n i g h t lo n g • I r is h H a p p y H o u r 6 p m - 12 m id n ig h t

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warms it up at Montpelier City Hall, 8 p.m. $12. Info, 800-639-1383. CLASSICAL RECITAL: Claude and Pamela Frank team up on piano and vio lin for a father-and-daughter take on Brahms and Beethoven. Concert Hall, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. $9. Info, 443-MIDD. CRAIG MITCHELL: The local deejay, actor and musician demonstrates his multiple talents at the Blue Couch Cafe, Burlington, 9 p.m. Donations. Info, 865-5066.

The Vermont Contemporary Ballet Company offers a kid-friendly perfor mance of excerpts from Coppelia, “Carmina Burana” and a work choreo graphed by Camille Vickers. Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $3/5. Info, 878-2941.

folksinger Joe Mathers serenades while you feast on Irish-roasted chicken, pota toes and “very green” beans. Marsh Dining Hall, UVM, Burlington, 6 p.m. $15. Info, 863-4634. ASTROLOGY PROGRAM: Celeste Longacre, astrologer for the Old Farmer’s Almanac, makes the connection between constellations and your ski technique. Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burling-ton, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4332. HAM RADIO CLASS: Talk all over the world and learn about d a n c e radio communi BALLROOM cation in prepa DANCE: Cut the ration for your rug any way you own F.C.C. ham want after a onelicense. Essex hour lesson in “West Town Office, 9 Coast Swing.” Tuttle a.m. - 6 p.m. Middle School, S. Info and fees, Burlington, 7 p.m. 879-6589. $10. Info, 655-1763. VIPASSANA DANCES OF UNI MEDITATION: VERSAL PEACE: Bill Petrow Learn simple chants teaches guided and whirling dances meditation. from the Sufi tradi Burlington Yoga tion. Earth Dance Studio, 1-3 p.m. Healing Studio, Donations. Chace Mill, Register, 658Burlington, 7 p.m. YOGA. $5. Info, 658-2447. PANCAKE CONTRA DANCE: Lead by Sweet Honey in the Rock founder Louise BREAKFAST: Mary Des Rosiers Robinson the a capella quintet parlays civil rights history into doo-wop, Soak up the first calls for an Irish syrup of the sea band. Capitol City gospel, African chant, rdrb, and ja zz vocal gymnastics. Protest never son with butter Grange, Montpelier, sounded so good. The Lane Series brings ’em to the Flynn this Friday. milk pancakes 8 p.m. $6. Info, 426and cob-smoked 3734. bacon and PUPPET SHOWS: The Story o f Briar sausage. Dakin Farm, Ferrisburgh, 7:30d ra m a Rose and Rainbows and Flowers are fol 11:30 a.m. $4.75. Info, 425-3971. ‘STEEL MAGNOLIAS’: See March 12. lowed by crafting at Stowe Library, 10:30 JACK JUMP RACE: Sit on a single ski AUDITIONS: Theater Factory will stage a.m. - noon. Free. Register, 888-2828. and let it fly. Bolton Valley, 7 p.m. $ 16 The Importance o f Being Earnest in May. STORY TIME: Folks six to 10 hear Irish to race, free to watch. Info, 482-4335Wannabe Wilde actors report to Mann stories. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 10 ANTIQUE LECTURE: Learn how to Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, 3-5 &c 11 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. talk like an antique doll collector at the p.m. Free. Info, 863-5966. Charlotte Antique Mall, 10:30 a.m. etc k id s noon. $2. Info, 425-4837. IRISH FESTIVAL BANQUET: Irish A CELEBRATION FOR CHILDREN’: MT. ABRAHAM SNOWSHOE: Bring

SWEETSTREET

lunch, crampons and water on a hike to the silvery summit, via the Battell and Long trails. Meet in Burlington, 7:30 a.m. Free. Register, 759-2027.

INTRO TO MASSAGE THERAPY: Mark Adams and Niko Pruesse share strategies around giving and receiving therapeutic massage. Burlington Yoga Studio, 1-4 p.m. $20. Register with a friend, 658-9642. SUGAR-ON-SNOW: Take in treats, tours, exhibits and family activities at the Green Mountain Audubon Nature Center, Huntington, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 434-3068. SUGAR-ON-SNOW PARTY: Listen to bluegrass music while the new sap “sug ars off.” Dakin Farm, Ferrisburgh, noon 4 p.m. Free. Info, 425-3971. SHELBURNE FARMS SNOWSHOE: Rolling terrain and beautiful scenery await the outdoorsy on this easy snowshoe. Carpools leaving from Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Register, 482-2420.

® Sunday m u s ic IRISH HERITAGE FESTIVAL: Bring your instruments to an informal gather ing modeled after the impromptu Irish ceilis. McAuley Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, 1:15 p.m. Free. Info, 660-1044. IRISH BENEFIT CONCERT: A per formance of “Emania” benefits battered women in Washington County. Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 7 p.m. $15. Info, 479-9310.

d ra m a

® monday

‘STEEL MAGNOLIAS’: See March 12, 2 p.m.

kid s

m u s ic

CIRCUS SMIRKUS AUDITIONS: You don’t have to run away to join an internationally acclaimed youth circus. You do have to be energetic and ready to tumble at NorthStar Gymnastics Studio, Berlin, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 533-7443.

CHERISH T H E LADIES: World-class Irish step dancers and virtuoso button accordionist Joe Derrane combine forces with the all-female Irish-American ensemble. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $12-23. Info, 656-4455. CELTIC CELEBRATION: Woods Tea Company compares Celtic notes with Belfast guitarist Seamus Kennedy for an evening of traditional and not-so-traditional Irish entertainment. Vermont Technical College, Randolph, 9 p.m. Free. Info, 728-3391. OPEN REHEARSAL: Women lend their vocal cords to a harmonious rehearsal of the Champlain Echoes. S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6703. AUDITIONS: The Essex Community Players are looking for actors for The Miracle Worker. Essex Elementary School, Essex Center, 6:45 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2971. SWING LESSONS: Learn to lindy hop — the original style of swing — at the Blue Couch Cafe, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. $8. Info, 656-1636.

etc PANCAKE BREAKFAST: See March 15. HAM RADIO CLASS: See March 15. ‘WATERFRONT PROJECT’: Spectators and performers involved in the last performance of this year-long community art event meet to discuss the results. Memorial Auditorium Lobby, Burlington, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7144. ‘GREAT AMERICAN MEATOUT’ DINNER: Bring a dish for eight with no animal ingredients to a meatless gather ing of vegetarians. Bread & Beyond, Williston, 5 p.m. Take food and eat free, or pay $7.50. Reservations, 655-5326. ‘HOOPS CHALLENGE’: Chittenden County high school basketball players compete for charity while four-person teams — on rowing machines — see who can paddle farthest. Proceeds sup port the Howard Center for Human Services. Burlington High School, 1:30 p.m. $2. Info, 660-3669.

t ilm ‘TH E GARDEN’: This British feature by gay filmmaker Derek Jarman exam-

C ontinued on next page

Astrology • Magic • Pagan & Wicca • Zen • Buddhism ■Yoga • Psychology • H erbalism • Wellness • Gender Studies, etc.

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Diamonds, Watches, Stamps, Silver, Gold §

I Free Appraisal w/ coupon ^on the Waterfront, Burlington

658-26461 I-800-650-264^

page

out. Flynn Theatre,

sure checks are fi Wellness Center, p.m. Info. 865-2

donations. hdiestra weicomes n<

downtoi Don itions.

: .v•s•.;

Colchester, 7-9 p.

Couch Cafe, Burlington, 7 p.m. r-N.

•

„ at the Lake Shelburne, :r> 9852827. LECTURE FOR PARENTS: Get the

.... "« GOSPEL CONCERT: The Fin* Baptist Community Gospel Choir of Montpelier shares its spirit. Statehouse, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 828-2228. d a n c e ‘FREE SPIRIT DANCE’: See March 12. CONTACT IMPROV: See March 12

AMAZING GRACE:

Long-time feminist Grace Paley regards herselfas a “somewhat combative pacifist and cooperative anarchist. " The Pulitzer Prize-winning author, who splits her time between Vermont and New York City, reads Thursday at Champlain College.

•TOP GlRLS’:T lm - s™ “ comcd,.— a community cur-

McCarthy Arts Center, College^Colchester, 8 p 654-2500.

, ,

this monthly meeting. Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-7943.

Steiner perspective on learning and modern life. Green Mountain Waldorf School, Wolcott, 7 p.m. Free. Register, 888-2828. TATHERS & CHILDREN TOGETHE R : Spend quality time with your kids and other dads at the Wheeler School,

Ple §ooci character develop Burlington Library, 7:30 p.m Free, info, 652-7080. fc £ r f A STORI£S; Chitdren jist€n>sl i craft at thc childrens Pages,1 S 10 ^ Free. Info| 655-1537

860 S

STORYTIME: Kids get an e

’’ 3

P'm'

°’

STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. &C1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

t CAMPAIGN FINANCE REFORM PA N E L --M oneyM K .Sw U ft Speech? A panel of big-wigs — Conrad Smith, David Curtis and Anthony Pothna, to name a few - taflt about free speech versus free elections. Senate

K 9 9 ?

C D ’S A N D

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page

;

writing on the Thursday before pubIlcalion. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style. Send to:

6 tC .

SEVEN DAYS. P.0. Boi 1164.

„_T BATTERED WOMEN'S SI ,’PORT GROUP: Sec March 12 ‘TH E CFIANGING FACE ( BURLINGTON': W hat o n do „ undo radsm M more « • >a cets t]

Burlington. VT 05402-1164. |

Or fax 802-865-1015.

T H E

{jt+ a r n s n y

FR ID A Y,

' '; •: ■

dubs, and art listings are due in

CHEAP COMMUNITY SL PER: See

M ID D L E B U R Y

■

Tsindle. Submissions for calendar,

862-4332.

A N D

Calendar Is written by Clove

«■

I Z S

Chambers, Statehous^|ii(|BbeSkr, 7

and childcare. Burlington City Hall, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7200. ‘VISIONS OF HOM E’: Gustav Verderber blends fine art and natural his tory in a slide show set to music cele brating the beauty of northern New England. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free .Info, 863-3403. W OMEN’S SMALL BUSINESS PROGRAM: Entrepreneurial^ inclined? Explore options offered through the Womens Small Business Program. Wheeler School, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-0337 ext. 372. ‘A IDS FACTS’: Transmission, testing, trends and prevention are covered at a

W in n e r C O L L E G E ,

M A R C H

M EA D •

B :3 D

C H A P E L P.M .

C A S S E T T E S A V A ILA B LE AT:

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S E V E N DAYS

\t ( V e r m o n t b o o k s h o p ma r c h

12,

1997

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DOLLAR Some are a l m

o f the

o st

THEDUKrROBILLflRDBflND GUITARIST FOR R dom ful o f B l u e s A MD FABULOUS T il U N D E R B ID S

best

VTURDAY, RCH 1 S AT

f r e e

By Jeremv Rosenberg

Onion River Arts Council presents

borscht. But that doesn’t mean they don’t com e in handy: Two $ 1 hardcov

he rich are different from

ers by former Vermonter

you and m e, the old joke begins. T h ey have more

Alexander Solzhenitsyn kept m y

money. A nd w ith those vast funds can com e vast fun, like navigating the high seas on a luxury yacht or goin g on a safari. But if

w indow s propped open during a heat wave last summer. M y next stop was at the South Burlington

was a five-pound bag o f potatoes for 98 cents. At H annaford’s, I confess, I ignored the food and w ent straight to the video depart m ent. M ost rentals here cost on ly 99 cents for

IViONTPELIER C |T Y HALL ck ets: $

O /A D V A N C E

$ f o r in f o r m a

O n io n Afr r s C o u n c

call

19-9408

you’re like m e, your budget is considerably tighter. In fact, I’ve m ade som e thing o f a

r> e *4

lifestyle ou t o f finding item s for a dollar or under. And w hat will a

v >

single G eorge

u i H

' e

W ashington fetch

ry o JL titt

in the Greater Burlington area? Armed on ly w ith

Savings T h ro u g h M a rch

som e spare change and a lot o f free tim e, I com m en ced

Organic Big Grapefruits Organic Lettuce

ONLY $.75 each! ONLY $.99 each!

(Red & Green Leaf) C hurch Street, at Pyramid Books. There,

PHOTO:

on the 9 9 -cen t shelves, I found one volum e that was the total package. Yes, The Total Package —

Barnes & N ob le, where the 88-cen t table had paperbacks w ith more m ovie titles than a suburban

subtitled The Evolution and

cineplex: The Pelican Brief, The

Secret Meaning o f Boxes, Bottles, Cans and Tubes — w ritten by I hom as H in e, m ore than lives

Firm, The Hunt for Red October, Cujo, 1984, The Falcon and the Snowman.

up to its name. In this b ook I

I also found a ratty John

learned about the history o f

Barth, a yellow Gary W ills, and

glass-blow ing, tinn in g and plas tic m aking. The Total Package

a b ook by activist/M .I.T . pro fessor N oam C hom sk y — in

suggests w hy the egg m ight

Spanish. At last, a legitim ate

have evolved into too good a

excuse for not understanding anything the leftist linguist is talking about.

design; w hy M c D o n a ld ’s shapes its French fry cartons the way they do; w hy the frozen-food industry m ight be on its way

(M otto: “If it doesn’t say Ken

finally, H in e successfully c o m

Burns, we d on ’t w ant it!”)

pares John Keats’ p oem , “O d e

There are som e feature film classics, too, such as The Thin

child’s paen to his favorite cere al, C o u n t C hocula. U p the street at C row Book

Antoinette never would have said The Japan-America Society of Vermont and Saint Michael's School for International Studies

“let them eat cake” had she known

T h e Fletcher also has on videotape seem ingly every PBS program ever produced.

out; and answers that eternal question: paper or plastic?

to a Grecian U rn ,” w ith a

Even M arie

Organic Haas Avocados ONLY $1.49 each! Organic M ushroom s (8 oz. Pk.) ONLY $1.99 each!

about pies fo r a quarter.

Blue Line, Lawrence o f Arabia and, o f course, Sly Stallone’s

on e night. But M onday

Cliffhanger.

through W ednesday you can get

Naturally, all this shopping

A JA P A N E S E C U L T U R A L F E S T IV A L O F A R T S , C R A F T S , M U S IC , F O O D Featuring: THE BURLINGTON TAIKO DRUMMERS

tw o for the price o f one. I co n

BON-ODORI DANCE

tomes priced to m ove at 95

can really stir up an appetite.

sidered such tandem s as The

cents: No Exit and Other Plays, by Jean-Paul Sartre, Mother

So onward to the supermarket.

Madness o f King George and Posse, Bob Roberts and Barton Fink, or R odney D angerfield’s Ladybugs and Natural Born Killers. In the end, I w ent w ith Mallrats and, because m y sec

MARTIAL ARTS DEMONSTRATIONS

Shop, I found a few w intry

You’d be surprised what $1 can

and, m ost tem ptingly,

buy you here: two or three boxes o f pasta, tw o cans o f

D ostoevsky s The House o f the

beans, a tub o f Q uaker Oats or

Dead.

a half-dozen packages o f Ramen noodles. A single bill will also

Courage by Berthold Brecht

I have a real weak spot for

ond cousin is in it, W ood y

buying books by Russian w rit

fetch a p ound o f m ost vegeta

A llen’s Crimes and

ers. Problem is, I can’t seem to

bles and som e fruits. T h e day I

Misdemeanors.

finish anything heavier than

w en t in, Grand U n ion had a

C hekhov’s The Overcoat — except m aybe a bowl o f

cents. Price C hop per’s best deal

ma r c h

12,

1997

After w atching Mallrats, I

pint o f strawberries for 99

Continued on page 2 4

S E V E N DAY S

MUSICAL PERFORMANCES FOOD AND GIFT SALES RAFFLE TO BENEFIT KOBE EARTHQUAKE RELIEF Raffle prizes donated by area merchants and sponsors

Demonstrations of: TEA CEREM ON Y IKEBANA CALLIGRAPH Y O RIGAM I KIM O N O THE GAME O F G O and more! Donations at the door: General - $4.00 Members & Students - $2.00 Children under 12 - $1.00

School group &advancedsale discounts available For further information, call: 802 655-4197

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For years D ick has been telling me that money is entirely imaginary, “ju s t num bers on paper spo ken through the air, ” and that everyone's attitude toward it is based, a t some level, in fear.

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time he thought the question was academic, because the only people who worry about money enough to conceal it are people who have plenty of it. The rich are different, as Scott Fitzgerald observed. For the record, I checked with Fitzgerald’s granddaughter, Bobbie Lanahan, who assures me that nothing has changed since her grandfather deliv ered himself o f this famous maxim. “Having inherited money is no different than winning the lottery,” said Bobbie. “Every relative you’ve got comes out o f the woodwork. Its best not to mention it.” C r rr

F re e A d m is s io n ! Fre e

MONEY TALKS... C ontinued from page 13

S E V E N DAYS

“So I can assume it’s still regarded as bad manners to walk into a dinner party on Park Avenue and ask the hostess how much money her husband makes?” 1 said. “Yes. But you might ask your dinner partner, just to be shocking.” In the spirit of the hour, I refrained from asking Bobbie for sales figures on our joint publication, Zelda: An Illustrated Life, and she in turn thanked me for not asking her any probing questions about the Fitzgerald estate, whereupon we both kissed the air near our respec tive receivers and agreed to catch up soon over lunch. The moral o f this story: Don’t ask, don’t tell. You’ll fit right in. □

was desperate to go to a mall — life really does imitate art. My first stop, o f course, is One Dollar Deals at Mall 189 (I sometimes choose its sister shop at the Burlington Square Mall). There I stocked up on plastic flowers, candy, per fume, cute stuffed animals, plastic handcuffs and Lifestyles condoms. Now all I need is a date. By the way, if you’re into kitsch, the dollar stores rule. At Mall 189, they have Jesus and Mary nightlights, Topps 1989 baseball card folders and, best o f all, a whole binfull o f Pez, including my per sonal favorite, Gonzo. Over at Bob’s Best Buy on Williston Road, you can also find some great single-digit deals, like five Power Ranger Placemats for $ 1. Bob’s Patchen Road store offers eight-track cassettes at three for a dollar. I recommend Sonny & Cher, David Cassidy or Tom Jones. O f course, not everything for a dollar or under is, well, cheap. There are plenty of practical items, too. One Dollar Deals has an impressive variety o f kitchen utensils, including four different veg etable peelers. They also sell Krazy Glue, combination locks, screwdriver sets, argyle ^sqcjcs and car W Y f - , w ?rl America on Williston Road has cheap window-washer fluid. Battery Street Jeans has some great specials on used clothes. And Janet’s Thingamajigs on North Winooski Avenue sells all sorts o f children’s books and toys for $1. Best o f all, though, is Sam’s Warehouse in Williston. Sam’s resembles a nuclear fall out shelter, crammed with scattered bins, scrapped appli ances and paperback books with no covers. It has enough potato chips for Burlington and the surrounding suburbs to survive the apocalypse. Or the next five Super Bowls, whichever comes first. Have I forgotten any thing? Oh, yeah. Bus rides, out-of-town newspapers, post cards and postage stamps, bagels with margarine, fast-

food hamburgers,10-ccnt coffee from the Cosmos Diner, Table Top pies from Bouyea Fassetts bakery outlet, and close-to-downtown park ing meters that give five hours for four quarters. All in all, my one-dollar world is so satisfying that I pretty much forget about the yacht and the safari. Even Marie Antoinette never would have said “let them eat cake” had she known about pies for

a quarter. □

ma r c h

12,

1997

:-V-'

-■

" ■- V ■ . -

•

' ' ■•/ ' , -V

•

By Paula Routlv

lot o f politicians have promised to “end welfare as we know it.” Trouble is, most o f them don’t know it at all Missing from the welfare debate are people with direct experience in

the system, who can eloquently analyze what is wrong — and right — about it. Kathy Varney, a 25-year-old single mother who received her last welfare check in December, knows first-hand the humiliation o f getting a hand-out. Her dramatic turnaround, from ninth grade drop-out to Trinity College “scholar,” is a portrait of self-determination. “1 said I would never be on public assistance,” she says over coffee at her home in Northgate Apartments, she learned never to say never again. Varney grew up in the Old North End of Burlington, although her dysfunctional family didn’t stay long in one place. “I was their mother,” she says o f her par ents, who split up when she was six — now the age o f her own daughter. “My mom and the guy I call my dad have a son’,' friy fiatf-fifbtTte'r. M^ mom and another guy had a girl who is now dead. Then of course my dad — the guy whose name I have — has a daughter from a previous relationship. And then there is this other guy who might be my real father who has several kids.” Varney found surrogate support in her teachers at Lawrence Barnes School, and in a soft-spoken family in the same neighborhood “with a beautiful house that smelled good.” But she was embarrassed about being on welfare, and fought fiercely with a mother “whose boyfriends always came first.” She tried living with her father in Newport, and even moved to the Glens Falls area for awhile with a couple that took her on as a live-in babysit ter. At 16, she dropped out o f high school and moved into her own apartment in Burlington. She had full-time work, and a full time boyfriend, when she got pregnant the following year. “I knew it was going to be harder, and I was worried, but I think the timing was crucial. If my sister had not died the day before, I would have taken it differently.” Varney learned she was pregnant the day after her six-year-old half-sister was hit by a truck, crossing Susie Wilson Road with her mother. In her mind, Varney made the psychic substitution. “I thought it was meant to be,” she says o f the baby. “It was like a buffer to fill the void.” She was less certain about her relationship — with the son o f a professor and an artist. When things fell apart, “I thought serious ly, seriously, ‘What are my options?’ I could work third shift, because that makes the most money at a place like Whiting — and never see my baby. Or I could do my best to live on five dol lars an hour on a different shift.” Like so many single mothers with limited earning potential and leaky breasts, she opted to stay Home with her baby — on welfare.

ma r c h

12,

1997

knew, no matter what, I wouldn’t stay on it,” Varney says, noting aid should be used to “get up out of the trenches.” But almost immediately, she got “bombard ed” with messages that she was doing something wrong. “Most people don’t say, ‘When I grow up, I wanna be on welfare,’” she says. “I had to do what I had to do.” Varney knew she needed an education. With a General Equivalency Degree, she ended up full-time at Trinity College and, after a year, was accepted into the Community Scholars Program, which provides schol arships for community-minded single parents who are eligible for welfare benefits. Twelve of 21 made the Dean’s List last semester. “The first challenge is poverty,” says director Bruce Spector. “Those o f us who do not live on five or six hundred dollars a m onth... have no idea what it’s like. Then there is par enting, which they all take extremely seriously. And there are classes at a fairly demanding college, and community service work on top of that.” Spector calls Varney “a role model” at Trinity, set apart by her determination not to let

S E V E N DA Y S

be listened to, given an educa tion? There are no rights for people on public assistance. Everything you wear, what L you buy for food, what you say to your chil dren — everything is scrutinized.” Varney certainly has what it takes to consider a political life — drive, passion and a com pelling story. But further scruti define her, ny makes her wary. She wants “be it family, to continue being an advocate friends or Newt for low-income people, but y« Gingrich He alsqk she’ s looking for a job in geron acknowledges fier acquired elo tology. Like welfare recipients, quence. When she talks, Varney she says, “it’s a group that has a way o f pausing thought deserves more fully — as if respect and her thoughts eye contact... It is so difficult to were outpacing a pat on the her vocabulary back.” — and then take your assistance Varney delivers the believes in perfect word, the concept check to the bank , often in the o f welfare form o f a ques reform. But tion. But there an d look that person she would is nothing have drafted a meek about this poetry in the eye. Then take law that granted more writing psych respect to major. Intense your food stamps to people and analytical, attempting to she is a power ful presence. the grocery store, and better their lives. “If you But “I still have a child have low self look that person in who is esteem. I have rebelling, and to fight it,” Varney says. the eye. ” you scream at them, or hit On the wall o f them, what is her living — Kathy Varney going to hap room, along pen? They are with multiple not going to photographs o f six-year-old say, ‘Oh, I get it,”’ Varney says. Hilary,' is a small, framed poem “If you listen to them and — “The Single Parent’s Prayer.” respect their opinion, you will Varney bought it for herself. “It have opposite results.” □ is so difficult to take your assis tance check to the bank, and look that person in the eye. Then take your food stamps to the grocery store, and look that person in the eye. How can you possibly feel like you are worth something — that you should

Applications to Trinity’s Community Service Scholars Program are due on A pril 15. For information, call 658-0337, ext. 218.

page

DOWNHILL HEROES FILM

David Healy-

Back in 1944, A llied efforts to pene trate the “soft under a i oving skiing, loving cold belly o f Europe” had weather, loving high altihit a prickly spine in the north &■ tudes, I said ‘that’s for ern A pennines o f Italy. T h e m e,”’ recalls V erm onter Sewall 10th M ountain D ivision, a W illiam s o f his en listm en t in group o f 1 4 ,0 0 0 specially the 10th M ou n tain D ivision at trained troops, were called the outset o f W orld War II. upon to break through the W ith the help o f cham pion A penn in e Line and open a path skiers, m ountain clim bers, col toward Germany. In their way lege boys and cow boys, the stood Riva Ridge — 2 0 0 0 feet division w rote an unique chap o f sheer rock w ith en em y gun ter in m ilitary history before m an on top. returning h om e to revolutionize T h e film takes ski and histo ou td oor life in Am erica. T h e ry buffs from the D ivision ’s for aw ard-w inning docum entary m ation and training past peak film , Fire on the M ou ntain, experiences like Riva R idge to swings as deftly as a big band the hum an elem ent o f war and w hile linking historic footage the enduring im pact o f the m en and recent interviews w ith w ho fought it. A t its best, Fire som e o f the septuagenarian on the M ou ntain captures the billy-goats w ho helped defeat upbeat spir H itler a it o f the half-century Fire on the Mountain, a infancy o f ago. T h e skiing — documentary about the film opens w hen skiers at the Savoy 10th Mountain Division. strapped Theater in m aple skis Savoy Theater, M ontpelier to leather this week. Montpelier. March 14-20. boots using

the rubber seals from m ason jars — as well as the esprit de corps o f the D ivision. M ore fraternity than army, the 10th is the on ly infantry divi sion in history to have been recruited by a civilian organization and created by a sport. Charles M inot “M inn ie” D o le, the founder o f the N ational Ski Patrol, first conceptualized a m ountain war fare unit after observing the success o f Finnish m ountain fighters in their war w ith Russia. D o le offered President R oosevelt the services o f the N ational Ski Patrol to help the U nited States prepare for the inevitable war in the m ountains o f Europe. W h en General Marshall saw the value o f the idea, D o le’s “experim ental division” took up residence high in the Rocky M ountains at C am p Hale, Colorado. W ith som e o f the

w orld’s best m ountaineers

teaching them the ropes, like Austrian ski racer Freidl Pfeiffer and clim bing p h en om en on Paul Petzoldt, they tested new eq u ip m ent — the first snow m obile and snowcat were developed for their use — and trained for the battles ahead. “W h en fighting in the m ountains, he w ho has the highest ground has a trem en dous advantage,” says W illiam s, w ho was a corporal in charge o f an 8 1 -m m mortar gun. A long the A pennine Line in Italy, the enem y held that position and used it mercilessly, directing heavy artillery fire into the val leys below. In order to turn the

tables, 6 0 0 Am ericans attem pt ed a daring nighttim e clim b o f Riva Ridge to am bush the G erm ans on top. T h e rest, as they say, is history. N early as dram atic — although less satisfying on film — is the w ay the m en o f the 10th w ent on to revolutionize America’s ski and ou td oor life. Veterans like Pfeiffer at Aspen and Pete Seibert at Vail devel oped the m ountains they dis covered in excursions from C am p H ale into som e o f the m ost prized pieces o f m ountain real estate in the world. In all, 6 2 Am erican ski resorts and C o n t i n u e d on p a g e 2 9

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* * SEVEN DAYS

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ma r c h

12,

1997

THE HOYTS CINEMAS

FILM QUIZ

PLOT OR NOT

Time for another round of everybody's favorite film-related game. This week what we'd like you to do is pick out of the following story lines the ones we've taken from actual movies and the ones we've just plain made up. It they're real, write "plot." If they're figments of our imagination, jot "not."

Review

f i t vATr ppT$*tf m

' t

people whp posse^Seative visions are rare, those who achieve success and acclaim JgP& ng them even mom so. Scarcer yet is the successful artist with a promotional flair equal to his creative gifts. Love him or hate him, you have to admit Howard Stern is just such an almost mathematically impossible human being. . 11 | Over the past 20 years, in haphazard lurches of experiment and insight. Stern slow-

E s P

ly transformed him self from a broadcast geek

on his mind. O f course, it helps that his mind

M this sanitized adaptation o f his freewheelin

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almost everything else on radio was dull and predictable. Not content with merely conquering New York, Stern has syndicated his show to more than 30 other 58®®*- N ot <»ntent with merely being the biggest radio jock in history, he’s al*> com nun Jeered his ’, own television show on the E! channel. And, with the publication o f his 1993 autobiography, on which l ^ ^ i n g ^ h o r , all the while proclaiming h im s ^ ft h e King o f AH

1. An unpopular teen enjoys a deepening relationship with a frog. 2. A boy with unsophisticated shopping skills attempts to purchase a Unicom but winds up the proud owner of a one-horned goat. 3. A group ot Dobermans otters crimefighting assistance to a treasury agent. 4. Two dogs and a foul-mouthed rat make an incredible cross-country journey but, tragically, are flattened on the New Jersey Turnpike.

Media. VIV*. r * For awhile it looked like the one frontier left to Stern might be denied him. Plans for a long-pr< film based on the character Fart Man fell through, and Stern was panicked. Then he got a callfroir director Ivan {Ghostbusters, Stripes) Reitman, who pointed out that the perfect subject for a Howarc ’Koderhis hisnose n o s— ^ #Howard HowardStern, Stern,who, who,with withhis hisautobiography,, autobiography, ij&ffec -------d the rest is history. Howards. ie, is a savviiy adapted version of its stars book. It offers an amusing to prominence, o f course. More surprising is what it leaves out — : anchy, loose-cannon fodder that got him where he is today. In its pi N P w * Sct? M I o f his iong-sufferi

5. A young man is thrust into the media spotlight following a chance encounter with Bigfoot. 6. A young girl battles the small town prejudice of her parents and peers when a circus comes through town and she falls in love with one ot its performers, a sen sitive muleboy.

______________

r. though, S ^ ^ p ^ b n q u e s t by the King c

riice> ^ £1¥ # ; Privat?Pans arc the best parts.

O _________________

A I N Directed by George and Beth Gage, this wid ofW W IIs unsung heroes — the men of the 10th nd winter warfare division. See review opposite paj director Richard {Slackers) Linldater adapts Eric Bo sfwlmmnt quite wrap^hlft brairil around the fact •tarring Steve Zahn and Parker Posey. S f D ' I The third installment in the Star Wanxtft ainlnd they just keep coming, or,is Lucas ^ ^ | g century?-; *• ,

Don t J o r g e f to watch The Good. The Bad & The Botfo!" on your local previewquide channel

Locumtintary

lountain

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le Indian, Big City. Urn Allen stars as a Wall Street executive reunited with his son, who’s beei if o f Venezuela. With Martin Short and Sam Huntington. BLADE**** Billy Bob Thornton directed and stars in this highly acclaimed independent { ^ncermng a mentally handicapped man and his violent past. I’ S R OOM (NR) Meryl Streep and Diane Keaton are estranged sisters in Jerry Zaks adapt cott McPhersons C laim ed 1 ^ 1 play about IfpomJa faipily hying to come to terms with a *iBness-. Keatons received an Oscar nomination for her performance. With Robert DeNiro, » DiCaprio and Hume Cronyn. ^BRA SCO**** . A iJ ^ n o p la y ^ a g m g w ise g u y , Johnny Depp, an undercover FBI agent

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Iruno Kirbv and James Russo. § ** CALL (NR) Jamie Foxx and Tommy Davidson co-star in this comedy about two buddies * St into a comic nightmare , was institutioi

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Drop Box Update! We now have a drop box a t UVM! (bottom of B illings, next to candy counter) and

now, you can drop off your video in Hinesburg, at the Good Tim es Cafe*

SHOWTIMeS Films run Friday, March 14 through Thursday, March 20.

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Thieves 12:10, 2:45, 6:50, 9:30. Everyone Says I Love You 12:20, 3, 7, 9:40. Preachers Wife 12, 2:30, 6:40, 9:20. Ransom 6:30, 9:10. Space Jam 12:30, 3:10. Evening shows Mon. - Fri.; all shows Sat. - Sun.

CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 The Return o f the Jedi* 12, 3, 6:40, 9:40. Jungle 2 Jungle 1, 4, 7:10, 9:25. Howard Stearns Private Parts 12:45, 3:45, 7, 9:50. The Empire Strikes Back 12:30, 3:15, 6:30, 9:30. Absolute Power 12:10 (not Sat. &c Sun.), 3:10, 6:50, 9:55. Vegas Vacation 1:10, 7:15. That Darn Cat 1:20 & 4:10 (Sat. &c Sun. only). Fools Rush In 3:50, 9:45. Dantes Peak 12:20, 4:10 (not Sat. & Sun.), 7:20, 10. Star Wars 12:40, 3:35, 6:55, 9:20. Jerry Maguire 12:20, 3:30, 6:35, 9:35. All shows daily.

SEVEN DAYS

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. The Empire Strikes Back 12:50, 3:20, 6:55, 9:30. Jungle 2 Jungle 1, 3:40, 7:05, 9:35. Donnie Brasco 12:40, 3:25, 6:50, 9:25. Booty Call 3:35, 9:40. Star Wars 12:30, 3:10, 6:40, 9:30. Dantes Peak 1:10, 7. Evening shows Mon. - Fri., all shows Sat. - Sun. NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Suburbia 1:30, 4, 7, 9:30. Howard Stearns Private Parts 1, 3:45, 7:15, 10. Lost Highway 3:30, 6:50, 9:40. Marvins Room 1:45, 4:45, 7:30, 9:50. Sling Blade 12:45, 6:20. Shine 1:15, 4:15, 6:40, 9. English Patient 3, 9:15. All shows daily. THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Fire on the Mountain 6:30, 8:30. 2 (Sat.Sun. only). * S ta rts F riday. M ovie tim es su b ject to change. P lease c a ll th e th ea ter to confirm .

Y o u ’ r e in v it e d

S pring Exhibition &

SILENT AUCTION

R A F F L E DRAWING FOR

2 David Ma r c h

b u m br eck

15, 6 :30*9

o p e n i n g s ART FROM THE HEART,

P rin t s

featuring paintings and drawings by children from the pediatric w ing

o f Fletcher A llen H ospital. B urlington C ollege Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 2 -9 6 1 6 . R eception March

AN EVENING OF WONDERFUL ART,

12, 6 -8 p.m .

DELICIOUS FOOD, DRINK & LIVE JAZZ MUSIC

CELEBRATING WOMEN'S ART,

IN THE BEAUTIFUL MlDDLEBURY COMMUNITY

a m ixed m edia exhibit featuring mem bers o f the com m un ity

RA FFLE DRAWING AT 8 PM

and the V erm ont W o m en s C aucus for Art, in honor o f W om en ’s H istory M onth and the 25th anniversary o f the national W C A . Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 5 -7 1 6 5 . Panel discussion w ith

THIS EVENT WILL BENEFIT ART FOR YOUTH PROGRAM

Margaret K annestine, A bby Rose, C andy Barr and Carol M acD onald, March 15, 3-5 p.m.; recep

FREE

tion follow ing, 6 -8 p.m . SELECTED WORKS by Elaine Ittlem an. Yellow D o g Restaurant, W in ooski, 6 5 5 -1 7 0 3 .

OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

F o r Mo r e In f o C a l l 3 8 8 . 3 8 2 2 • P a m o r D a l e D a v i s

R eception March 15, 3 -5 :3 0 p.m .

o n g o in g

MONTSTREAM

OPEN STUDIO Original paintings, greeting cards and framing Cow e

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One Main Street, Union Station, Burlington, VT ( 802) 862-8752

DO ALL DOGS BARK? Paintings by Jennifer Burton. Food For Thought, Stowe, 253-4733. Through April 10. MARKINGS, paintings on canvas and linen by JKYM. JKYM Textile Arts Studio (above Tones), Johnson, 635-3507. Through March 21. LOST RUSSIA, black-and-white photographs o f Russian churches, monasteries and houses by William Craft Brumfield. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. March 18-June 22. HAWAIIAN WAT E RC0 L0 RS by Calvin Collins. Daily Planet, Burlington, 658-8956. Through March. THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS: THE ART OF THEATRE DESIGN, focues on the spring production o f Arcadia. Middlebury College Museum o f Art, 443-5007. Through June 1.

IMAGES OF THE NORTH EAST KINGDOM, paintings, prints, drawings and collages by Bob Manning. Shayna Gallery, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through April 3. BARGELLO/WEAVINGS by Jill Waxman; also OILS & ACRYLICS, paintings by Marcia Rosherg, Pickering and Fletcher Room, respectively, Fletcher Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through March. “THAT'S NOT A R T !? ” A group exhibit o f local artists in mixed media. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3924. Through March 26.

HEART FELTAn

exhibit currently at Burlington College

Gallery takes the pulse o f young patients from Fletcher Allens pediatric wing, who p a in t it like they feel it. Through A pril 12.

FACULTY FINE ARTS E X H I B I TION in mixed media. Julian Scott O v e r 6 0 V e r m o n t A r tis a n s D e fin ite ly w o rtk tra v e lin g to W a its fie ld fro m a n y w lie re

'P it* # ' by

L iv y H itc h c o c k • portraits • commissions • landscapes 4 W oodlaw n D rive • E sse x ju n ctio n • 802.878.3473

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Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 635-1469. Through March 23. SPOUT IT OUT, an exhibit o f teapots by New England artist. Vermont Clay Studio, Montpelier, 223-4220 Through March 29. BY ZANTI UM, recent glittery paintings by Anne Davis. About Thyme Cafe, Montpelier, 229-0635. Through March. PRINTS, PA I NT I KGS by Terry Racich. Sneakers, Winooski, 655-9081. Through March. MOVIE POSTERS FROM THE 1920S curated by Dan Higgins. Francis Colburn Gallery, University o f Vermont, Burlington, 656-2014. Through March 14. MORE WILD, WILD LI FE! watercolors by Anastasia Bartus. Smugglers Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2412. Through April 5. WORKING ART, paintings, drawings and sculpture by Edith Kramer and prints and metalwork by Lynn Newcomb, and ON THE ROAD TO ABSTRACT I ON: Selections from the WPA. TW Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through April 27. VERMONT FAMI LY ALBUM, contemporary photos by Nakki Goranin and historic photos from her collection. Vermont State Building, Burlington, 865-2412. Ongoing. SEPI K COMPOSITIONS, sago palm bark paintings and carved wooden shields from Papua New Guinea. Hood Museum o f Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., (603) 646-2808. Through June. BEFORE THE THAW and other handmade prints by Roy Newton. Isabels, Burlington, 8652522. Through March. REPRESENTING WOMEN, an exhibit o f photographs, paintings and electronic media by Lynn Hughes, Kathryn Vigesaa and Cathy Mullen . McAuley Fine Arts Center, Trinity College, Burlington, 658-0337, ext. 204. Through March 22. BIG FISH AND GOOD-LOOKING WOMEN: THE TOUR, photographs by Jack Rowell. Samsara, Burlington, 862-3779. Through March 15. GERRIT G0LLNER, paintings, drawings and prints. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington, 8648040, ext. 121. Through March 28. LITH0GRAPH$, monoprints and hand-pulled linoprints By Roy Newton. Wing Building, Burlington, 864-1557. Through March. SCENES FROM AN ISLAND YEAR, lithographs, lino-prints and monoprmts by Roy Newton. Red Onion, Burlington, 865-2563. Through April. PAINT I KGS AND DRAWI KGS through the seasons by Dead Creek, by Margaret Parlour, and PASTEL LANDSCAPES o f Vermont by Lisa Angell. Green Mountain Power Gorp., South Burlington, 864-1557. Through March. Find expanded A rt Listings at http://www. bigheavyworld. com/seven, days

S E V E N DAYS

ma r c h

12,

1 997

ABSTRACT THINKING By Pamela Polston

Ms*

. ' ' •'" ■ :

Wilhelm Worringer’s stance counterpoint to the grid. Her against “empathic” art at the single piece in this exhibit, front end o f this century, how he 15 New York-based “Wishing for the Farm,” is ever, abstractionists have chal artists whose works current roughly amoeboid in shape, corlenged classic objectives for so ly fill the Fleming’s largest raled by a custom-made rim of gallery are familiar to those who long that the genre is no longer knotty pine. Its glistening sur closely follow contemporary art. cutting-edge. On the contrary, face heaves up and down like abstraction is canonical, famil Not all o f them are exactly rolling prairie. Occasional iar; while it does household names outside not always please, Manhattan, however, which is it has lost its abili one reason why the show is edi ty — and probably fying. The other benefit o f this desire — to shock. touring collection o f 20 paint But, as W.J.T. ings or assemblages in mixed Mitchell notes in media — curated by two o f its the show’s cata participating artists, Rochelle logue, this allows Feinstein and Shirley Kaneda — is that it demonstrates where for a certain free dom, releasing art abstraction is going at the close from “the weight o f the 20th century. o f history and bor “Re:Fab, Painting rowed authority.” Abstracted, Fabricated and This can be read as Revised” examines, among freedom to play, other things, formal possibili experiment, or ties, limitations and revisions, simply meditate on the grid versus biomorphic the image being shapes, color, dimensionality, created. decorative elements, and media “Wishingfor the Farm, ” by Elizabeth In the last few that imitate paint. Two o f the decades other art tangents — most engaging examples o f the gopher-sized openings puncture minimalism, conceptualism, latter, for entirely different rea Murray’s curvaceous topogra installation and appropriation, sons, are the hundreds o f dyed phy, which is dominated by a to name a few — have taken velvet polka dots adhered to an triumverate o f yellow, claret and turns pushing the envelope. ordinary sheet, by Polly lizard green. The work’s size, Meanwhile, abstract painters Apfelbaum, and the shape and sheer inventiveness quietly continued applying funny/creepy assemblages o f makes it the most striking in brush to canvas. And while chewing gum — in prechewed, experiments with media, color, tooth-marked wads — by Charles Spurrier. Casual viewers texture, and other surface treat ments are in evidence here, rela of Re:Fab” could be forgiven tively few artists have even for thinking: That wouldn’t do in my living room. bothered to break away from the traditional rectangle, ensur True enough, contemporary art is not necessarily pretty. In ing the continued hegemony o f fact, this exhibit supports an geometry in our visual world. early notion in Elizabeth ^ I abstract art, Murray’s large“ Re:Fab, Pa i nt i ng that anti-beau scale, threeAbst r act ed, ty might dimensional Fa br i c a t ed and sometimes be works provide the goal. This a grand excep Re vi s e d. ” Fleming is consistent tion — and Museum, Bur l i ngt on with critic organic

0 1

Through April

DOWNHILL HEROES C ontinued from page 2 6 schools were either founded c run by 10th Mountain Division men. Fire on the Mountain tend to focus on Western resorts and personalities, but 10th Division vets populated the Eastern ski scene too, says Williams, who owned a ski lodge — the current Hyde Away in Fayston — and also managed ski shops. Jack Murphy, who ran Mad River Glen and then Sugarbush, as well as former Stowe Ski School Director Kerr Sparks, are just two examples o f 10th vets who returned to Vermont Across the country, moun tain corps veterans chose a variety o f routes to use what they had learned in make a living in the batde against

ma r c h

12,

1997

this show. Among the artists plying two-dimensional rectangles o f canvas, a prepon derance in this show are taken with the aesthetic o f decorative ness. Jonathan Lasker’s simple lines — straight and scribbly — are marker-like, childishly semaphoric, his jarring or pastel colors in the pop vein. Richard Kalinas “Aemilia,” is a col lage o f colorful, Miro-like shapes and straight lines laid over a repetitive pattern o f roses on canvas. It is inten tionally decorative, in fact would make nice, if dizzying, wallpaper. Sidney Tillim’s energetic “Under Cover,” by Murray. contrast, on first glance resembles a board on which color samples have been tested in broad, fan like, haphazard strokes, as if on a large-scale palette. Closer examination reveals layers and visual density that argue for less spontaneity, but the total effect

q eW

remains curiously, tumultuously gestural. Dona Nelson craftily explores collage with cheese cloth on canvas — the cloth forming various stringy and biomorphic blobs against a black enameled surface. But Carl Ostendarp manipulates surface in a manner at once minimalist and playfully repre sentational. In “What’s Next to the Moon?” he has fashioned a plump circle out o f flashe and foam urethane against white linen. Though the title suggests a dissected orb, from a distance the shape resembles nothing so much as an egg yolk — except that it’s pale pink. The “yolk” should be dripping out o f its frame, but in fact is stiff as a day-old meringue and not going anywhere. Ostendarps semi-jokey, semi-organic visual strategy leads the mind else where in a suitably ambiguous way. It is, after all, “abstract.” “Re:Fab” warrants a careful look, even if admiration is not everyone’s next response. While far from a comprehensive sam pling o f current work in the genre, even in New York, the selection suggests that abstrac tion’s edge is still far from dull. □

Jd U rtie A J

O lo fo r Tcxhtoo C arciihcu

from Dances with Wolves, Where The Rivers Flow North & Legends o f The Fall r _____________

20.

battle against despoiled places,” is how environmental ist David Brower puts his transformation. Another vet, Bill Bowerman, was able to transform his experience enduring hardship in the mountains to the mental toughness to overcome obsta cles in business — he helped bring jogging to America and then started Nike shoes. Climber Petzoldt founded the National Outdoor Leadership School. Fire on the Mountain is a glowing tribute to the men o f the 10th Mountain Division. Viewers are sure to find it an intriguing history lesson. □ Mountain Division veterans Sewall Williams o f Warren and Dick Leo o f Moretown w ill be on hand for a discussion a t doe March 1 7 showings o/Tire on the Mountain.

0 vj^

Tuesday, March 18, 8 pm Mann Hall Auditorium Trinity College of Vermont

Free and open to the public. For information: 802/658-0337 ext. 297 Through these a n d other activities , the College pursues its mission to advance the education a n d the leadership roles of women in society.

* '

1his lecture is sponsored by Horizons, Trinity s leadership program with publicity paid for by Montgomery & Merrill, Certified Public Accountants. OF VERMONT

208 Colchester Avenue Burlington,Vermont 0540

SEVEN D A Y S .

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feld en k rais A UNIQUE AND DYNAM IC approach to the develop ment of greater self-awareness, flexibility, power and precision in movement. Carolyn King nationally certified in this method since 1987, teaches individual and group lessons. Call 434-5065.

fitn ess FORT ETHAN ALLEN FIT NESS: 655-4000, Winooski. See display ad. YMCA: 862-9622, 266 College St., Burlington. See dis play ad.

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BODY-CENTERED PSY CHOTHERAPY. Marti B. Killelea, MSW-Heart-Focused therapy involving touch, dia log, silence and presence, and Cranial-Sacral Body Work. “The heart the door, the body the threshold, step through to your soul.” Call 863-3328, sliding fee.

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psychics BERNICE KELMAN: 8993542, Underhill. See display ad.

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Althoighptt three of these practitioners art j>JCO~ of t3 |jEA lll^ .m am tk|l3 iat It lYnotfcr ^ ponentS<B|J everyone, ahd that itspotenj renewed regulations^ e “I thiiifc the vitamif|poh these huge dosages available really negative effect on peo| say^.; *lf large doses are prov pie, cancer,at couiaaeally ca don.” % “ *. * .1 ^

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m ental health MARION TREDEAU, RNCS, Mental Health Therapist. Practice involves assisting w/ a variety of life issues including grief & loss, relationships & orientation. Fees negotiable. 802-4541432.

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astrology

ARIES

TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): My Taurus acquaintance Michael decided maybe it was time to begin to tiptoe in a roundabout way up to the verge | of telling his mom the truth about his sexual preference. "Just hypothetically speaking,” he asked her, “how do you think you would react if I ever told you I was gay?” “Oh honey,” she j chuckled, “I know that would never j happen. I’m not even going to worry about it.” End o f discussion. My advice to Michael — like my advice to j any Taurus who’s thinking about dropping a bombshell — is to either sj>ili the whole story or else lock i t up even tighter. This is no time for ji b l|w a y measures.

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M arch 13-1 9 (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): The ancient myths don’t tell us, but I’m guessing Hercules was an Aries. Like you, that heroic pioneer scared up more adventures in one lifetime than most people do in 10 incarnations. In fact, what you’ve been going through reminds me of the time he was compelled to perform those arduous assignments known as the “Twelve Labors of Hercules.” I believe you’re halfway through your own version of that project. You’ve defeated the poisonous snake and man-eating birds; you’ve subdued the three-headed dog in the underworld and banished the eagle that was gnawing Prometheus’s liver. But you’ve still got to figure out how to legally pilfer the golden apples in the magic garden. And then you’ve got to tidy up the stables which haven’t been cleaned for years.

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BY ROB B R E Z S N Y + *

Darwinian theory regard mutation as the engine o f evolution. In a less literal sense, the word means any sudden, radical alteration that propels a person in an unpredictable new direction and provokes twists of fate which were simply not possible before the mutation. I believe you’re very close to zeroing in on such a breakthrough, Gemini.

CANCER (June 21 -July 22): It would be a good week for a slumber parry in an exotic sanctuary, or long distance phone sex with a seductive Buddhist, or a good will excursion to a funky paradise. But it wouldn’t be such a good time to hide under the covers and count the hairs on your arms, or to wolf down bowls of sickeningly sweet hot cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner, or to dream so vividly of fun adventures that you feel no need to actually make those adventures happen. LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): Saffron is the priciest spice in the world. To make a single pound of the precious stuff, you have to handpick and process 80,000 flowers. Doesn’t that remind you of the task you’ve been working on? It reminds me. I’m in awe

stamina

If that’s true, you Virgos are the first runners-up. I’m reminded o f Virgo painter Grandma Moses. Though she didn’t launch her career till she was 76 years old, she churned out more than a thousand pictures before she expired. 1 hen there’s my Virgo acquaintance Chris, who was a virgin until age 25, but ultimately made a serious run on Wilt Chamberlain’s record o f 20,000 liaisons. I bring this up, my’friend, because in the next month you could make up for a lot of lost time all at once. Precocious you may have never been — until now.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In Greece recently, thousands o f people whacked jugs and pots against their front doors while chanting “Away with fleas and mice!” Its an old folk ritual that serves to psych everyone up for spring cleaning. Judging by your current astrological aspects, I’d say that a similar ceremony would be a fine tonic for your mental health right now. Maybe instead of merely sticking to the Greek incantation, you could scream, “Away with fleas and mice and cockroaches and spooks and viruses and dumb ideas and all other pesrs

tosummonip w ill m ore th ;

^Scorpio, apgthrouj of thundc ipours in t i molten

AQUARIUS

* *

an avalanche, and a lust to express yourself with the ferocity of a 70 milean-hour gale. All in all, brave explorers may regard you as a bracing thrill. Let’s hope, though, that innocent bystanders have enough sense to stay out of your way.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Some people think that just because ghosts are dead they’re smarter than those of us who’re still alive. But I happen to believe that while these . spirits are certainly privy to a realm of information unavailable to us, most of them are not wildly observant or wise. So if a departed soul appears to you in a dream or vision this week, enjoy the hair-raising feeling it gives you and indulge your curiosity to the max, but don’t regard its word as law. Furthermore, be skeptical o f any source, dead or alive, that can’t provide hard evidence to back up its claims. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): rnuosopner rn ed n ch Nietzsche said Philosopher Friedrich he drummed up his best ideas while talking long walks. The Greek philosopher Aristotle called his academy the Perj|>at3e*ic School

v **

he taught his students. Tills learning seems foreign to who’ve sat on our butts for 1 of our education. But I give it a try in the next How many piercing

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Calling all mystic gypsies, rebel geniuses, peaceful warriors, windsurfing physicians, nude bowlers, cowboy poets, transgendered oil company executives, extraterrestrial dreamboats, destroyers o f stereotypes, and other Aquarian-type folks: This is the best time in eons to try translating your weirdest, most innovative notions into pragmatic action. You’ve been five years ahead of your time up until now, and in another few weeks you may be again; but at this magic moment, the world is ready for your futuristic flair.

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar. 20); Though the Chinese invented gunpowder in the seventh century, they didn’t turn it into a weapon for hundreds of years. Until the eleventh century, it was used solely to fuel fireworks displays at public celebrations. This fun fact reminds me o f the dual nature o f the planet Mars in your horoscope. While on the one hand it’s the source o f your gorgeous animal energy and delightful sex drive, it also powers your angry, destructive urges. My theory has always been that 4 you aggressively seek positive oudets f°r your Mars force, it won’t wreak mayhem. I believe you are about to rest that theory. My ' 'v

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expanded

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h o ro sco p e 1 - 9 0 0 - 9 0 3 -2 5 0 0 $ 1 .9 9 p e r m in u te . 18 a n d o ve r. T o u c h to n e p h o n e . U p d a t e d T u e s d a y n ig h t.

ifieds BU R LIN G TO N : ISO housemate to share small 2 bdrm. house. Q uiet downtown location, offstreet park ing. No drugs, smoking outside. $312.50 + 1 / 2 utils. Gas heat. Available Feb. 1. Call 862-4041.

announcements BREAST CANCER: Women w/ and/or survivors o f B.C. needed ASAP for informal photo project to benefit Breast Cancer Fund. Call for more info, 865-2868.

SHELBURNE: Large, sunny room in huge, 4 bdrm., 2 bath house. Laundry, parking, large yard, pocsh, garage, friendly roomies $252.50/m o. + elec. & kerosene fuel. Students welcome. 985-9202.

real estate G O V ’T FORECLOSED H O M ES from pennies on $ 1. Delinquent tax, repo’s, RE O ’s. Your area. Tollfree, 1-800-218-9000, Ext. H -6908 for current listings.

STARKSBORO: Cooperative vege tarian household in quiet hills seek ing 1 or 2 housemates, $250/mo. + utils. 434-3669.

studio space

buy this stuff

BURLIN G TO N : Friendly, easy going F studio artist seeks 1 or 2 other F’s to share lovely, waterfront studio space in the W ing Building (on bike path, near Perkins Pier). Private entrance, self-regulated heat & A/C, high ceilings, large win dows. 1/2 (or 1/3) o f $300 + utils. + building fees. Call 864-7480.

TIC K ETS NOW : VT Body building Show, June 7th, Flynn Theatre. See Miss Olympia, Kim Chizevsky, Women’s Best Bodybuilder. Call to reserve tickets now, 863-5966 or 865-3068. FU RNITURE: New Queen-size mattress and box spring, $200. Sturdy, dark wood bunk beds, $200. Modern Design sofa, rustbrown, Bauhaus, $500 o.b.o. Call 655-0827.

housemates BU R LIN G TO N : 2 F’s looking for a creative, responsible housemate to share relaxed, queer-friendly, Old N orth End apt. Garden & parking. Call Sarah or Shannon, 864-9460. BU R LIN G TO N : New N orth End, 2 bdrm. condo, great condition, nice location, quiet neighborhood. Looking for open-minded, neat, responsible person. $300/m o. + 1/2 utils. 660-9950.

$ 5 for 2 5 words per

$ 1 8 . 5 0 per month. $ 3 0 f or 2 m o n t h s . ( y o u ' r e gonna beat t hat whe re?)

BU RLINGTON: Victorian apart m ent in Hill section; prof./grad, NS housemate wanted for large 3 bdrm. on 2nd floor. $355/m o. + heat, 865-6986.

TAN AT HOME

Buy DIRECT and SAVE! Commercial/Home units from $199.00

Low M onthly Payments FREE Color Catalog CALL TODAY 1-800-842-1310 BREW YOUR OW N BEER! Homemade wine and soft drinks, too. W ith equipment, recipes, and friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. At our location next to the Beverage Warehouse, E. Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070.

wanted to buy P R IN T IN G PRESS W ANTED, table-top model. Call Carolyn, 6442991. T O BO G G A N W ANTED. Also interested in a sled, wagon or cart, any condition, cheap. 456-1522.

hobbies CRAFT PATTERN PACKAGE multi-use, variety of fun, popular prints. Package includes: carbon paper, tracing paper and 15 pages of patterns. To order send check or money order for $9.98 to: Your Way, 136 North St., apt. #J0, Burlington, VT 05401.

BURLIN G TO N : In North End; M or F roommate wanted for 3/1. Music lover preferred. $220/mo. + 1/2 utils. Call Mike, 865-2597.

f or m o r e i n f o Deadline is Monday at 5.

BU R LIN G TO N : 2 prof, women seek NS housemate for vegetarian house. Cat lovers preferred, no dogs. Back yard w/ garden, wood stove, W /D . Available May 1. $280/mo. + 1/3 utils. 865-3492. BURLIN G TO N : Sunny, furnished, 2 bdrm. bungalow. Walk to water front, yard, small garden area, base m ent studio/rehearsal space. Must like my dog. $350 +1/2 utils. Letter about yourself to P.O. Box 1726, Burlington, V T 05402-1726. BU R LIN G TO N : New N orth End. M , gay-friendly, NS, prof, wanted to share house. $300, includes utils. Call 863-5696.

cleaning/housekeeping “HOLY COW, BATMAN, IT looks like we’ve been hit by the W hite Tornado!” “No, Robin, I’d say Alfred finally called Diane H., Housekeeper to the Stars.” “T hat’s right, Mr. Wayne, I dialed 6587458.”

CAL L

8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4

H O U S E H O L D G O O D S: Reconditioned/used appliances, electronics, furniture & household items. ReCycle North: save $, reduce waste, train the homeless, alleviate poverty. Donors/shoppers wanted. 266 Pine St., 658-4143. Open seven days/week. RECIPE SECRET: C ountry style Honey Mustard Vinaigrette for sal ads that would impress Martha Stewart! Entertain w/ style! Send $7.50 to: M y C ountry Salad , P.O. Box 5183, Burlington, VT 05402.

< LiFe iu The Subup bs (vvby we r/eed $ SISr000 LANd RQVg RS~)

automotive SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, BM W ’s, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4W D ’s. Your area. 1-800-218-9000 Ext. A-6908 for current listings.

child care I NEED C H IL D CARE for my 15-month-old in^ o arh o m e Mon.Wed. mornings, preferrably in So. End. Please call 863-0356.

help wanted M O N TPELIER FLORIST looking for F/T team player w/ design, delivery and customer service skills. Call Mark at the Pink Shutter, 2233413.

VOLUNTEERS FOR MEDICAL RESEARCH 18-45) needed for UVM study on effects of commonly used medications. Weekdays for

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W ORLD O F DIFFERENCE: Marketing position. Progressive environmental co. seeking ener getic, motivated people. Flexible hours. Will train. Call Francine, (802) 651-0182.

tutor/instruction E D IT IN G /PR O O FR E A D IN G / W R IT IN G TUTO R IA L SER VICES. Experienced freelance edi tor and writing tutor. Special rates for graduate and ESL students. Call 655-5953 and polish your prose today!

L1N to 1 TON. I’m an early bint l

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a.m. meet you in convenient than B a n t (2200) SEARS AREA to WATERBURY. Long time carpooler needs some new pool members. Works sft * " ;state building, approx. 7:30 a.m. 4 p.m. Leave Sears at 6:45 a.m, (1149) BURLINGTON. LetVrtde. together from Church St. to the Holiday Inn in Burlington. Working hours are 7:30 sum. to 2 p m., sometimes work ro 5 p.m. (2319) ' PLATTSBURGH to IBM, save $! Work W-F 7 p.m. to 7 a.m. If these are your hours, respond. (2304)

M IITO N to BURLINGTON. Second shift. Looking'fbff to UVM. Working hours are 2 p.m. to 11:30 p. m. (2312)

”

BURLINGTON, to TAFT CORNERS. Ridc"*W#e«i need to be to work I

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1& » 11 p.m. - 7 a.m. I need a work when the I

COUCHESTER to

TON RD. Looking for a ride F, work 1O f i & o 7 p.m- (2362)

COLCHESTER to DOVC

UNDERHILL ti> FLETCHER S'pJdSN'HOSP. Willing to share in driving. Weekends, 7 sum, to , . . S

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S^SjRNileO to FL8Tc4 ER ALLEN. I work 1i p.m. to

SPANISH IN STRU CTO R/ T U TO R . VT certified w/ four years classroom & tutoring experi ence. All levels, flexible hours, rea sonable group and individual rates. Call 655-7691 for more info.

,7 (2335) *< * * *$?!!$£.! SHELDON to DOW NTOW N B U R L IN G T < ^ ;lip l« » form a vanpooi from northern part o f 1-89 ro Burlington.

photography

BURLINGTON. Ride needed from Burlington toTheTeddyTT *4' Bear Factory on Shelburne Rd. . I (2323)

PH O TO G RA PH ER SEEKS female models to expand portfolio & for publication. Seeking models who are in shape & attractive. Please call Carl, 860-1055.

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||Looking to carpool on a ||basifclfs too much for one r m n alone. My hours m 8 in*. g|f,p.m.. bur it can be flcwbfesfS m:

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BURLINGTON to COL CHESTER Ride needed from No. Willard St., Burlington to

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DERHILL

I . looking ro . Underbill area to <| ..Burl Work hours | 5 p.m. M-Ev Let’s help t .>jour and eupooR,

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FENDER SQUIRE STRATOCASTER w/ gig bag, $250. 6608315, ask for David. BANJO: Open back mountain style. She’s a pretty bird, $300 o.b.o. Guitar. Seagull, solid cedar top & cherrywood, electro-acoustic, 6-string, $325- Chris, 434-4563.

Lawibsbread P.o. Bo*izi JerkM Verni^f OSVC5 s o u m itf

i , REGGAE ALTERNATIVE FU N K BAND seeking trombone and/or trumpet player(s). Must be available Monday & Wednesday nights and have very flexible schedule. Call 660-8236.

DRUMS FOR SALE: Mapex 5 piece, 7 m onths old, w/ Paiste hihat, 2 Paiste 16” crash cymbals, 20” Zildjian hammered ride, 16” Zildjian Chinese Trash cymbal. All necessary stands included. $1,075, o.b.o. Call Sean, 872-8083, leave message.

BANDS, SO N G W R ITER S, instumentalists, check out this brand new, 24-track, digital recording stu dio! Professionally designed rooms, experienced staff. For affordable rates w/ a FAT SO U N D call David at Cosmo Recording, 802-2233854.

SO N IC T O N IC : 16 Burlington bands on 1 C D in local record stores. $5 (to benefit Spectrum Youth Services), www.bigheavyw orld.com .

T H E KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE has 1 lock-out rehearsal rooms avail, for solo drummer. 24-hr. access; hourly rehearsal avail., too. Discounted rates before 6 p.m. Call for appt. 660-2880.

FOR SALE: TASCAM 388, 1/4 in. 8-track & mixer w/ remote con trol., $1200. MXR Blue Box, $50. Bill, 860-5061.

L O O K IN G FO R HEALTH & fit ness conscious people desiring $$ commensurate to their efforts. Can complement existing job. Call 8798321, any time.

D RU M M ER NEEDED: Blues For Breakfast’s drummer is moving and needs replacement. Into Dead, orig inals & Blues. Tons of gigs booked thru ’97. 434-4947.

$300-$500 WEEKLY! Full/part time processing H U D /FH A Mortgage Refunds. No experience. Own hours. Call 24-7 days. (504) 429-9229 x 45 8 0 D 10.

3-PIECE, FUNKY-SOUNDING blues band looking for a 4th. Keyboard, harmonica, sax, or any interesting sounds considered. Singing a +. Call Scott, 899-2006.

Alreadyestablished business locatedonthe MountainRoad inStowe, VTfor sale. Pleaseinquireat 802.253.7412

position. Please leave message

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ARE YOU LIVING O R SURVIV ING? Tired of the resume game? Is your job going nowhere? W \K E UP! Be your own boss! Earn unlim ited $$!! Will train. Call Jen, 651 0188.

at 660-3070

study, it is not an employment

W ORK AT H OM E: For more information send $1 and a SASE to: Info, Dan, 205 Pettingill Rd., Essex Jet., VT 05452-2667.

IBB 11111 ■ l l i l i i

GREAT OPPORTUNITY

$1000 This is a medical research

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AM BITIOUS PEOPLE W ANT ED. Capitalize on the home-based business boom! By the year 2000 half the population will be working from home. We’re focused on the $31 billion personal development industry & $454 billion homebased, small-based business market. We will take you there now w/ our unique educational product, extra ordinary business & unparalled sales/support system. Serious inquiries. 1-800-775-0712, x 8782.

SEEKING PH ISH T IC K E T FOR the Flynn show. You name the price. Please fix my heart. Kim, 865-3765.

6 -10 weeks. Compensation to

business opp

HAIRSTYLIST W ANTED FOR well established salon in S.swe. Experience required. Flexible days and hours. Call 802-293-8108.

Healthy males & females (ages

$1000’S POSSIBLE READING BOOKS. Part Time. At Home. Toll-free, 1-800-218-9000 Ext. R-6908 for listings.

WOLFF TANNING BEDS

week.

BU R LIN G TO N : Looking for roommate (M or F). Ours is a 3 bdrm. apt. Rent is $312/mo. Available 4/1 or 4/16. Hardwood floors, claw-foot bathtub. 8622084, talk to anyone.

C D

400 WATT METAL-HALIDE light fixtures. Complete with Ballast. $125 Real Nice Units. O ther Bulbs & Ballasts, too! Call 203-792-2676.

EAT RIGHT. BUY A SPARE SET OF SHOELACES. GET A HAIRCUT. CALL YOUR MOTHER. NO PUSHING. CALL 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4

page

SEVEN DAYS

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Classifieds H EY M U S IC LO V E R ... G e t on the right track w ith Big E d’s S tu d io O n W heels. 8, 16, or 24 track, th a t is. G onna take you higher. For live, rem ote recordings call 8 0 2 -2 6 6 883 9 o r em ail b ig ed @ to g eth er.n et. ARE Y O U IN A B U R L IN G T O N AREA B A ND ? Be a p a rt o f B urlington’s W orld W id e W eb guide to local m usic. Send your press pack to: B IG HEAVY W O R L D , P.O. Box 428, B urlington, V T 03 4 0 2 . h ttp :// www. bigheavyw orld .co m / M U S IC IA N S - P R O M O T IO N A L P H O T O S - N ew Studio. ’ Special* photo shoot and 10 B & W 8x10 photos w / ban d nam e: $1 0 0 , m an y options available. Peter W o lf P hoto-G raphics, 8 0 2 -8 9 9 -2 3 5 0 / paw olf@ aol.com .

G U IT A R L E SSO N S: All ages, lev els & styles. Reasonable rates, B A . in m usic, 5 years teaching exp. Call Josh Stacy, 658 -1 8 9 6 . G U IT A R IN S T R U C T IO N : All styles, any level. Em phasis o n devel o p in g stro n g technique, th orough m usicianship and personal style. Paul Asbell (U nknow n Blues Band, K ilim anjaro, Sklar-G rippo, G o rd o n Stone, etc.). 8 6 2 -7696.

The Throbulators are now booking summer weddings and parties!!

FOR A GOOD TIME CALL 802 8 2 7 6 6 2 6

P R O P E R T Y P R O S. Total property m aintenance, p ainting, landscaping & light con stru ctio n . 863-0209. R EPA IRS, R E N O V A T IO N S , P A IN T IN G , consultations, decks, w indow s, doors, siding, residential, com m ercial, insured, references. C hris H an n a, 8 65-9813.

L O O K G O O D A N D FEEL G O O D for the sum m er. H ire the services o f an A C E C ertified Personal Trainer. M ark A n th o n y Bailey, 8 6 5 -8457. UN CO M FO RTA BLE AT H E A L T H CLUBS? I’ll help you m eet your fitness goals in your own hom e. Beginners especially wel com e. Julie T rottier, C ertified Personal T rainer, 878 -2 6 3 2 . $35 per 90 m in. session. Free brochure.

massage

BASS L E SSO N S: Teacher available for acoustic & electric bass. Learn theory, technique, how to read m usic a n d im provise. Ju stin , 8994024.

psychology IS L O W SE LF-EST EE M B L O C K IN G your financial success? W recking relationships? Feel better a b out yourself, fast. N ew therapeu tic presentation. Call now, 1-9008 7 2 -7 3 3 6 . $3 .9 9 /m in ., 1 8 + .T T P / D N B A udiotext, 314-878-6770.

personal training

8 0 2 8 7 8 2965

music instruction

T H E R A P E U T IC M ASSAGE: S w ed ish E sa lm B o d y W ork. Special intro rate. Sliding scale fee avail able. O ffice on C hurch St. Karen Ross & Lynn Waller, 863-9828.

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bands for hire

T H R O B IIL A T E !

T R E A T Y O U R SELF T O 75 M IN U T E S O F R EL A X A T IO N . D eep therapeutic massage. Intro session: $30, reg. session: $40. G ift certificates. Located in dow ntow n Burl. Very flexible schedule. Aviva Silberm an, 862-0029.

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C o m p a tib les psychics CA LL A PSY C H IC ! A nd Find O u t A bout T h e Future! 1-900-5621000, x 2402. 24 hrs., $ 3 .9 9 /m in „ 18+ only. Serv-U (619) 645-8434. D ID Y O U K N O W th a t sincerely gifted psychics really can answer any questions you m ay have? Find the peace you’re looking for. Call 19 00-267-9999 x 2340. $ 3 .9 9 /m in „ 18+. Serv-U (619) 645-8434.

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dating services P E O P L E L IN K - T h e A ffordable D ating Alternative. Call 657-2626. S IN G L E V E R M O N T E R S : D atin g /In tro d u ctio n service. T he unique, affordable way to m eet people. You choose w hom you w ant to m eet. It’s fun, confidential a nd it works. 802-660-1946.

Pam pering, K itty Sitting. O u t o f town? W e’ll be around! Call Francine, 651-0182.

entertainment E V E R Y T H IN G Y O U W A N T in one place: Sports scores, soap updates, daily horoscopes, awesome trivia games! H ave fun w ith the phone for a change! C all 1-9006 5 6 -5 8 0 0 x 2180. $ 2 .9 9 /m in ., 18+. Serv-U (619) 645-8434. LIVE C H A T L IN E! N eed som eone to talk to? C all now! 1-900-4768585, x 9029. 24 hrs., $3.9 9 /m in ., 18+ only. Serv-U (619) 645-8434.

C O N S O R T SERV ICE. M ale gre garious & diversive. For ladies & gentlem en. D ining, dancing, social events or traveling com panion. Professionalism assured. N o intam acy involved. G erard’s, 878-5361.

services

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PA RCEL N O . 2 : Lands and prem ises ow ned by C harles, M aybelle, D onald and D eanna Lawyer.

Thousands now pay less w ho never thought they could. Simply you can reduce credit cards, mortgage and unsecured loan payments up to 50%. Call M Triple A Services, 5 8 3 -8 1 5 2 for C .O .D . or send a $ 1 0 check or m oney order to P.O. Box 1548, Waits field, V T 05673. Act now limited time offer! A D V E R T IS E Y O U R P R O D U C T or service o n the Internet. Reach 40,0 0 0 ,0 0 0 people w orldw ide. Show your p ro d u c t in full-color graphics. A sk a b out classified adver tising o n the Internet. For inform a tion, call 1-802-658-6073.

PA RCEL N O . 3 : Lands and prem ises ow ned by Teal G roup, Inc. PA RCEL N O . 4 : Lands and prem ises ow ned by R obert and Julie R obidoux. PA RCEL N O . 5 : Lands and prem ises ow ned by A lan Ray. PA RCEL N O . 6 : Lands and prem ises ow ned by Lawrence and Jacqueline Taylor. PA RCEL N O . 7 : Lands and prem ises ow ned by K eith and Patricia Weaver. PA R C EL N O . 8 : Lands and prem ises ow ned by R obert and D iane W illiam s. an d so m u c h o f such lands and prem ises will be sold a t public auc tio n at the T O W N C L E R K O F F IC E o f th e Tow n o f H u n tin g to n o n the 10th day o f A pril, 1996 a t 10:00 a.m ., as shall be requisite to discharge such taxes w ith costs, unless previously paid. D A T E D a t R ichm ond, V erm ont this 4 th day o f M arch, 1997.

N O T IC E O F TA X SALE T h e resident and non-resident owners, lienholders a nd m ortgagees o f lands and premises in the Tow n o f H u n tin g to n , C o u n ty o f C h itte n d en and State o f V erm ont, are hereby notified th a t the taxes for the year 1994-1995 rem ain, either in w hole o r in part, unpaid on the follow ing described lands and prem ises in th e Tow n o f H u n tin g to n , to w it:

M atth ew J. Buckley, Esq. A tto rn ey for B rent Lam oureux, Tax C ollector for th e Tow n o f H u n tin g to n .

PERSON < TO > PERSON A m Asian, B = Black, Bi=Biscxual, C = Christian, D = Divorced, F = Female, G * G ay H = Hispanic, J = Jewish, M = Male, N D = N o Drugs, N S = Non-Smoking, NA = N o Alcohol, P= Professional, S = Single, W = White, W i = Widowed.

WOMEN SEEKING MEN PLAY P O O L ? Petite, adventurous, funloving SWF, 36, ISO poolshark w / sense o f hu m o r & intelligence to teach m e the game. M ust not m ind sm oke-filled bars or bad jukebox m usic. I’ll supply the quarters. 64487 CA LLIN G ALL FO O L S! T h is is no joke. W e call male folk to gather April one for an evening o f fun. W e are wom en o f in dependent m eans, intelli gent, articulate, w ith o u tstan d in g genes. Be 40-5 0 , honest and sincere, m en o f quality, looking for cheer. 6 4 4 9 6 I’M AT T H E D A T IN G G A M E W A IT IN G for you to walk th ro u g h the door. W here are U? W hat? You’re tall, attrac tive, w ith nice lips? Yes!! 645 2 0 W A N T E D : 3 B!S. A ttractive, 5 ’5 ” SN SP ISO a gentlem an taller than m e w / brains (professional), body an d b londe (well, that’s optional). I’m financially in d epen dent, very assertive & com petitive^ Looking for similar. Likes: skiing, m o to r cycling, w orking o ut & playing. Late 2 0 ’s through early 4 0 ’s, please. 6 4 494 SEE K IN G A PA R T N E R . A T T R A C T IV E SPF, 35, 5 ’8”, seeks intelligent and fit S P M , 35-45, w ho likes sm art w om en. Love o f art an d literature a big plus. 64521 I’M L O O K IN G F O R A TALL, O D D L Y shaped m an. O n e w ho doesn’t sm oke, but loves long, adventurous journeys, unexplored destinations, book sm art and fun loving. 645 2 2

march

12,

1997

IM P O R T A N T T H IN G S : com passion, honesty, intelligence, friendship, growth, belly laughs. C ool stuff: sunshine, skiing, hiking, travel, reading, music, spicy food. Active SWPF, 30, seeks SPM , 28-34, N S /N D , to explore possibilities for rela tionship. 64499 R A T H E R SO A R W 7 T H E EAGLES than buzz w / the mosquitos? Fly w/ me! G enuine SPF, 3 0 ’s, intelligent m ind, warm heart, caring soul, physically attractive/fi\.64518 C O M P A N IO N S H IP . F U L L -FIG U R E D F seeking com panion, 35-55, w ho’s financially/em otionally secure; seeking quality tim e, intellect, honesty, travel, LTR. 64492 D W PF, 47, N S , ISO R O M A N T IC gen tlem en for friendship, love and laughter. Enjoy M ontreal, traveling, sight-seeing, dancing, arts, photography & dining out. 64461 IN D E P E N D E N T , U N P R E D IC T A B L E , m ysterious. 64469 SKI N O W , W O R K LATER. PDW F, 43, 5 ’8 ”, blue-green eyes, blonde hair, look ing for avid ski partner through rain, sleet, snow. Love outdoors, movies, d in ing out, travelling, laughing. Looking for financially secure, funny, honest, goodlooking M (3 out o f 4 O .K ., too). 64481 2 S W F ’S, 21 & 23, S H O R T , BU X O M , red-heads seek 2 sm art, funny, openm inded and independent S W M ’s. M ust enjoy hiking, cam ping, strong coffee, good brew, and free-form jams a m ust. A nti-sm okers, freeloaders and gam e players need n ot apply. 64482 TALL, T A L E N T E D , L O N G WALKS w ith m an’s best friend, all natural, love to wrestle, slender, yoga on the side, silver sm ith by trade. N o games allowed. 64471 Y O D A SEEKS Y O D E E F O R GALACtic treasures. Rem em ber the bar scene? W e w ould recognize each other: think Farrah Fawcett. 64470 SWF, 29, S E E K IN G P A R T N E R F O R future relationship, everlasting happiness. N on-jealous, exciting, rom antic. 64463 G O R G E O U S , M A R R IE D , LATE 3 0 ’S F, into platform shoes, desires younger, preferably long-haired, witty, literary, handsom e M for sexy fun. M y husband’s fine w / this. 64464

ALL LIFE’S A D V E N T U R E S , G REAT & small. Attractive SWPF, passionate for life, laughter, m usic & the outdoors, ISO similar, active, upbeat, w arm -hearted S /D W M best pal and co-adventurer, 3547, N S /N D , w ho appreciates simple pleasures, the hu m o r in m ost situations, and an intelligent w om an. 64441 SWF, 22, 5 ’3 ”, A T T R A C T IV E , W IT T Y and vivacious, seeking attractive, sensi tive, funny, spontaneous M. Please enclose photo. 64451 Y O U R PACE O R M I N K SW N SPF, 39, serious tri-athlete in central V T seeking training partner/com panion for fun, inspiration, adventure, travel and fre quent partaking o f food, coffee and beer. N o body builders or arm chair athletes. 64447 H I, I AM A N A T T R A C T IV E 27 YO SW NSF. I am outgoing, honest, dow nto-earth, fun and passionate about life! I love travel, adventure, cooking, running and anything outdoors. Are you 27-35, SN SM , happy, handsom e, healthy and interested? Take a chance! 64448 TALL, V O L U P T U O U S B L O N D E , 43 (looks young), cat lover, outgoing. Interests: fine dining, wine, movies, M exican/Chinese food. G ood upbring ing, neat, clean, N D , no D W I. 64444 M O R E H E A R T T H A N BRAIN (though no slouch in that departm ent, either). SWF, 33, w/ wide range o f inter ests (“G o ” to rock clim bing) seeks N SM , 30-45, to feed & cuddle. H um or, intelli gence, gentle soul, strength w /o violence are w hat I seek. Kids? Pets? T h e m ore the merrier. 64442 LIKE Z O R A NEA LE H U R S T O N said, “You got to go there to know there.” I don’t w ant to go there alone. F, 25, seeks literate, athletic M to join me. 64414 N E E D A T E D D Y BEAR? READY T O cuddle? B londe/blue SWF, 18, ISO SW M , 18-23, w ho loves to cuddle. N A /N D a M U ST! D ow nhill skiing, reading, going to clubs are m ine. W hat are yours? Photo a plus. 64431 O U T G O IN G , F U N , IN T E L L IG E N T , attractive, professional SWF, N S, N D , NA, seeks the same qualities in a SPM , 27-33. I am a happy, secure, m otivated, positive thinker w ho enjoys movies, plays, dinners, music, exercise, taking classes and just loving life! N o th in g is by chance. 64425

S E V E N . DAYS

C E N T R A L V E R M O N T . N S SWF, 3 1 , attractive, intelligent, honest, optim istic, seeks N S SW M , 3 0 ’s, w / sim ilar traits. We enjoy: laughter, nature, kids, books, conversation, arts, real m om ents. 644 2 7 N M S M P O D O S W F IS O N M P O D O S C L M T D L P M just to h an g out w /... m aybe m ore. N o hippies, please. 64293 W O M A N , 23, W A N TS A D O O M Y black/death metal, long haired, clean, good looking, intelligent, career oriented W M w ho’s willing to travel. 64421 H A R D Y S O U L W A N T ED ! M atchm aker seeks hum anitarian & spiri tually oriented husband for her discrim i nating friend. She is youthful, vivacious, 44, beautiful, creative, honest & in tu itive. You m ust be confident, com pas sionate, loyal & successful w/ a strong solid physique & a generous nature. Be prepared for an exciting, harm onious & productive life together! 6 4 297 N E X T S T O P - H U M A N E SO C IET Y . I ’m settled dow n, b u t not slowed dow n. At 41, adventure is the right book, a road trip, woods exploration, city life, various cultural consum ptions, staying healthy, painting, m usic, socializing & solitude. N o drugs or big drinkers. Sense o f hu m o r im portant! 644 0 7 IN D E P E N D E N T S L E N D E R , FIT, secure, active, attractive, h appy w om an finds delight in: m y son, daily exercise, cooking, bookstores, m usic, candlelight, laughter. ISO M , 38-50, w / ability to enhance m y interests w / his ow n, a cre ative sense o f hum or, playful spirit & em otional freedom . 6 4 296 N O M O R E T O A D K IS SIN G F O R M E. SWPF, 28, brow n hair, blue eyes, pretty, hum orous/spontaneous, ISO prince w ho treats a lady like a lady. P hoto. 64273 SWF, 3 2 , P R E T T Y , IN T E R E S T IN G , sexy and fun, seeking a W M , 27-35. M ust be educated, cultured, strong and handsom e. 64279 W F SEEKS H A R D -W O R K IN G , N A , N S, N D , non-abusive, XXL size m an, 30-45, to grow old w ith. M ust be good w / kids & anim als. 64281 N S , A T H L E T IC , B O L D , “BEAUTY IS in the eye o f the beholder” (m y friends told m e to w rite th at). Seeking active, hum orous, 30 + babe! 64275

O L D -F A S H IO N E D G IR L W / O L D fashioned values. DW F, 42 , petite, attrac tive, great sense o f hum or, loves to dance, long walks, sunsets & rom ance. I ’m look ing for an honest, loving relationship w / a m an w ho is n o t afraid o f com m itm ent, and has a zest for life. 642 7 8 N S , S A R C A S T IC , W IT T Y , S IN G L E m om seeking decent, 4 0 +, m usic and anim al loving wise-ass (no duh!). Friends first, m ore later. 6 4 277 C A R P E D IE M W / SW PF, 33. O u tg o in g , intelligent, athletic, honest, well-travelled, outdoorsy, open, dow n-toearth, w arm -hearted, fun F... seeks soul co n n ectio n , passion, realness and dep th w / terrific S W P M w / sim ilar & other interests. Let’s m ake o ur lives extraordi nary together. H elp m e find you! 64255 G O O D T H IN G S C O M E IN SMALL packages. SWPF, 3 0 ’s, N S /N D , petite, physically fit/active, educated, creative, enjoys the o u tdoors, m usic, cultural events an d the finer things in life... like a S W P M , 3 0 ’s, N S /N D , w / sam e interests, physically fit/active, well educated, likes kids, respectful, trusting, caring. 64258 SWF, 3 7 , S E E K IN G P E R S O N W / SA M E interests: m usic, crafts, antiques, gardening & a general zest for life. Great sense o f h u m o r a m ust. 64248 P E T IT E LADY F O R ALL SEASON S! Snow bunny, beach baby, h oney bear seeks sam e in m ate, 29-42. D are to dream . T h ey d o com e true. Letter, p h o n e, p h o to . 64251

MEN SEEKING WOMEN D N S M , 6 ’3 ”, B L U E EYES, A T H L E T IC , loves cooking & o u td o o r pursuits, ISO SF N S /N D , 2 5 -3 7 , w h o w ants a good friend an d m ore. Let’s enjoy life’s adventures. 64491 W ID E -E Y E D , S W E E T , V O R A C IO U S lover o f life seeks m ate o f d ep th & reso nance willing to go b eyond fear. SW M , 37, interests: extraordinary h ealth, Tao, m usic, T ipis, o u td o o rs, passion beyond passion, m y dog. 6 4 4 9 7 IS O Y O U N G , B E A U T IF U L , M IL T O N girl (oxym oron?) w ith all her teeth (fan tasy?), rich (owns trailer), athletic (cow tipping), enjoys gam es (cow-pie bingo), fashionable (flannel) an d in d ep en d en t (works). 6 4 5 2 5 ,

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PERSON < TO > PERSON O U T D O O R S E N T H U S IA S T . SW M , 27, 6 ’, 170 lbs., physically active, sincere, rom antic, enjoys travel, sunsets, laughter. ISO SWF, 22-35, petite, athletic, adven turous nature lover. 64508 E X T R A O R D IN A R Y R E L A T IO N S H IP sought by intelligent, creative, rom antic, handsom e m an w / integrity loving life, expressing feelings easily and em otionally available. I ’m genuine, affectionate, enjoy conversing, have plenty o f hum or, too. I love skiing, movies, m usic, traveling. Seeking happy, fit, responsible F, 30-45, w ith brains, heart, esteem, smiles. 64501 S W M , 34 , VERY A T H L E T IC , ENJOYS skiing, skinny-dipping and m ost other ou td o o r sports, seeks SWPF. Should be easy-going and dow n to earth. 64523 Y O U : W IL D , TALL, L O N G LEGS and luscious, full lips. Me: handsom e and a very suave dude. Let’s meet! 64524______ IN T O H Y P N O T IS M ? ... K - C O M E in to your own an d let b oth o f us capture the m om ents - so let dow n your guard an d let us both be hypnotized > (equal to or greater than) so m uch better than being stuck in the m iddle o f the road (all alone) -- k! S P M SEEKS LTR. O F F E R IN G K IN D ness and understanding. I am fit, active and intellectually curious. You are 25-40 w / similar qualities and fem inine. 64510 C O -C O N S P IR A T O R /C O L L A B O R A T O R w anted. D W M , 41, active and ath

letic, yet cultured and spiritual. Varied interests include kayaking, running, hors es, sailing, the w ritten page, the big screen. Travel on an Irish passport. Fulfilled by w ork, b u t not a workaholic. Occasionally still clim bs trees. Ever the rom antic w ith unscarred heart and gently sarcastic hum or. Looking to conspire, collaborate and play w ith a thoughtful, financially stable, at least college-educat ed w om an w ith sense o f purpose and sense o f hum or. 64490 I ’M L O O K I N G F O R A W O M A N w ho can boogie. I m ean really get dow n. 64514 G O O D G U Y L O O K IN G F O R G O O D w om an. Hey, stranger things have hap pened. S W N S M , 31, seeking roughly the sam e in a female version. 64535 BUB BLE B A T H , W IN E , M ASSAGE, dinner? If you’re under 40 and n ot over weight, call. I ’m 5’10”, 170 lbs. and need you to spoil. LTR possible. 64536_______ V T CO W B O Y , 4 0 ’S, D W M , N S /N D , hardw orking, fit, handsom e, dow n-toearth, seeks attractive, fit, rom antic W N S N D cowgirl to ride the range w ith. N o couch potatoes. 64531______________ P A R T -T IM E G R O W N -U P W H O YELLS “M O V IE ” IN A F IR E H O U S E !. M uscular, w orld traveler, handsom e, 32 going on 27, N S S W P M seeks attractive, active, intelligent, fiesty garlic-loving SWPF, 27-35. Lively conversation and laughs are guaranteed! 6 4 5 1 2 __________ FU N ! R O L E PLA Y IN G . D o m in atio n / subm ission, w om en’s shoe w orship, escort. M e: well-groom ed, trustw orthy, tall, dark, non -sh o rt hair, university grad., 39. You: 18+. Coffee? Correspond? W hatever! Please! B O R ED ? LONELY? 25 Y O , SL IM , attractive SW M seeks exciting encounters (day or night) w ith older (35+) F. Size/ shape/race u n im p o rtan t. D iscretion assured. Call! 64533 L O O K IN G F O R F W H O W O R K S and likes to cuddle, is rom antic and takes relationships seriously. H obbies: cam p ing, movies, d ining o u t and rom antic evenings. 6 5 4 3 0 _________________ _ _ S W M IS O M /S F F O R SEXUAL m eeting and possibly more. 6 4 5 1 3 __________ S W M , 24, SE E K IN G S O M E O N E T O share fun tim es. L ooking for SF, 18-25. Please, no head games or em otional baggage. 64517________________ S L IG H T L Y CY N IC A L, A M B IT IO U S , active SW M is ISO athletic, attractive, m otivated SWF, 21-27, to partake in new adventures in life and stuff. 64495 S W M , 22, SE E K IN G FU N ! Likes to go out and quiet nights; likes to ride on motorcycles. Please, no head games, just fun. 64519 L O O K IN G F O R S O M E O N E T O G O o u t and have a good tim e w ith. If you

and I can give as good as (and better than) I get. So call, you won’t be sorry. 64450 D O W N R IG H T N U T T Y SM SEEKS F com panion. Interests include coffee, mafia movies, pornography, driving naked, irony, alien memorabilia. D runks encouraged. 64443_____________________ O N E CALLAWAY. D W M , 33, S M O K ER, seeks a petite w om an, 24-40, look ing for a kind, caring LTR w/ a very nice euv w ith m any interests. Love kids. 64440 HEY YOU! L E T ’S M AKE S O M E music. Let me play you like a finely tuned instrum ent, preferably like the drum s. 64456 Q U E S T F O R T H E RED H A IR E D girl. N S D W P M , 40, shy teddy bear, rom antic and fun, hoping to meet a passionate, exciting F, 30-42, for possible LTR. 64446 SW NSP, 2 7 , 1 AM FAMILY O R IE N T E D , honest, athletic, light-hearted, focused and creative. You: caring, intelli gent and focused. Let’s spend sqm e quality tim e to gether. 64436________________ BLUE EYED, TALL S W M , 41, SEEK IN G F w ho likes outdoor activities (such as hiking & alien watching) and movies. Please, no Hillary C linton look alikes. 64437 BU X O M B L O N D E , B R U N E T T E , etc., 24-30, who loves cooking, cleaning, leather, passion, sex and adventure, child wom en s e e k in g men bearing, sports, housem inding, and d o m inating & servicing a successful, good looking, straight-up guy. C an you see through this? Letters appreciated. 64434 LOVE IS A SK IN G T O BE LOVED. 5’8 ”, 145 lbs., youthful 4 0 ’s, somewhat professional, likes laughing, nature, pho tography, travel, hiking & sunsets. Let’s share good times together. 64412_______ compassion, honesty, intelli E A RTH Y NATURALIST. D W M , 41, intellectual, smoker, seeks witty, subm is gence, friendship, growth, belly sive, young m oon m aiden to explore the secrets o f love, lust and life. 64418 laughs. Cool stuff: sunshine, S W P M , 27, A RTIST, H A N D S O M E , educated, well travelled & laughed, new shiing, hiking, travel, reading, to VT, ISO S/DF, intelligent, beautiful (inside & out), w ho knows what she music, spicy food. Active SWPF, wants out o f life and is able to smile about it. 64429 30, seeks SPH, 25-34, NS/ND, to I ’M 5 ’8 ”, 175 LBS., B R O W N H A IR & eyes; enjoy all w inter/sum m er sports. explore possibilities for ISO beautiful redhead, sophisticated, intelligent, individual. Call m e &C let’s do relationship. coffee, tea, hot cocoa, lunch. 64423 D E FIN ITE LY D W D A D W / O P E N heart, gentle laugh, long arms, cold nose and extra fly rod ISO D W H ead Roper w/ tender eyes, loving smile, poetic dem eanor and a clear and trusting heart. D ining room table not required. 64430 IVl'N ’’I'll i 'I IIV U l \ S P R IN G IS IN T H E AIR! If you are a (limitt young F interested in outdoor and till'l\V<l III indoor activities, please respond to this Coyotes Tex-Mex ad! 64428 Cafe D W P M , 43, H U M O R O U S , SE T 161 Churcti St,Burlington T L E D , balanced, un-needy, ISO SWF, 565-36J2 35-45, for friendship, maybe more. Kids are cool, head games are not. I f you S W M , 41, B L O N D E /B L U E , BEARD, know w ho Y O U are, please respond. 6 ’— loves outdoors, boating, fishing, 64433____________ ____________________ cam ping, cooking, cuddling— seeks F, TALL, FIT, A C C O M P L IS H E D , D W P 25-35, for love, m arriage & children; the gentlem an, 40. Recent NY transplant w/ good life. 64457_______________________ a great sense o f hum or loves V T life. I’m T H E W O R L D IS A F U N N Y PLACE if into gardening, bowling and exercise. you let it be, w hether you like to talk a Seeking a petite w om an w/ similar inter little or a lot. SJM , 41, fit, fun. 64459 ests, and w ho likes to be treated like a JU S T W A IT IN G F O R A S/D W F, 30woman! N o tim e for games, thanks! 4 0 , w ho recognizes talents and great 64424 qualities o f a D W M , 40, w ho enjoys life N O BULL. SW M , 37, A T TR A C T IV E , to the fullest. 64460 professional, honest, fun to be with and S P M , N S , A VERY Y O U N G 39, 5 ’11”, positive thinking, seeks SWF, 26-36, 175 lbs., very handsom e, athletic & fit, attractive, as com fortable in as well as out sensitive, kind and honest, em otionally o f town, to spend tim e w ith. Prefer NS. & financially secure; a dynam ic personal M ust like kids and love to laugh. 64420 ity, free spirited and adventurous lifestyle. SW M , 3 0 IS H , ISO TALL, P E T IT E , Seeking slim, attractive, creative lover o f slim F, 18-28. Race unim portant. Must life, 26-45, NS. 64449_________________ sensuously grace a swimsuit. Model 21 YO S W M , TALL, D ARK, BLUE w annabe/shouldabeen. Photos, phone eyes, U V M student looking fun, intelli calls, dates. 64417 gent, spontaneous, attractive F. Age is not F E M IN IS T D W M , 48, AVID R U N an issue. 64453 N E R , fit, authentic, seeks a w om an of D W M , 3 0 ’S, A T T R A C T IV E A N D strong character w ho shares my value o f hardbodied, m edium tall, intelligent, daily physical activity, hum or and a simseeks similar, attractive F for ple lifestyle. 64416______ skiing/snow boarding, laughing, good H A N D S O M E , D Y N A M IC , SU C C ESS food, kinky sex and casual light-hearted FU L SW PM , 40, 5’6 ” (fabulous shape), fun - no strings. I am m ature, responsible awaits one earthy, discrim inating, rom an tic, intricately special lady, 28+, possess ing unique blend o f brains, breeding & beauty. 64294_______ __________________ S W M , 21, SEEKS SF, 1 8 - 2 7 .1 SKI, snow board, m tn bike, etc., seeks F for same. M ust be level-headed, outgoing and adventurous. 64402 I J PR O S P E R O U S , IN V E N T IV E lawyer & nerd seeks bright & beautiful, tall N SW PF born in the 50’s to share life, nature, reading, snowshoes, x-c skiing, festivals, theatre & heartfelt intimacy. Foibles accepted if love manifests. 64406 T H IS MAY S O U N D ST R A N G E B U T here goes... SW M , 29, 140 lbs., funny, intelligent, good-looking, gentle guy seeking SF, 18-35, for physical com pan ionship. I’m n ot a jerk, or weird, I ’m just

are 29-35 and sick o f the same old stuff. Let’s meet. 645 1 6_____________________ D W M , 2 9 , IS O P E T IT E W O M A N , 25-30’s, w ho likes the outdoors, dining, movies, dancing, traveling and having a good tim e. 64466 _________________ G O O D -L O O K IN G SM , 30, L O O K IN G for N S, fit F, 20-30, w ho likes movies, dinner, long walks, skiing, pool and holding hands. 64473______________ D IV ER SE S W P N S M , 34, A T H L E T IC , rugged, gentle, sublim e, passionate, transpersonal, attractive, rom antic, prac tical, responsible, idealistic, spiritual, independent, adventurous, secure, intu itive, solitary, content, visceral, magnetic. 64474 D EA R LOVE, I K N O W Y O U ARE there, and will be reading this. I have m ade a place for you. M , 45, Z en/ C hristian/N ative A m erican. 64484 I C O O K & C LEA N , W H Y N O T ME? W M , 47, in very good shape, dark hair, blue eyes, w anting to hold hands, walk, cuddle, rom antic candle-light dinners, sexy nights alone. 64439

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11numbers away.

SEVEN DAYS

rebounding and d o n ’t w ant anything SER IO U S, but D O w ant to have some fun. M aybe you’re rebounding, too? O r just don’t w ant any strings right now either. 64408 SW M , 38, SM O K E R , P R O F E S SIO N AL, art, passion, line & form , NYC, desire, sweat, focused, flawed, funny, lean, seeks attractive, like-m inded F w/ sharp eye and edge for LTR. 64298_____ Y O U N G P R O F E S SIO N A L M SEEKS young, b u d ding F for com panionship, __________ fun and casual play. 64400 F R IN G E B E N E FIT S: health club m em bership, free ski pass, hom ebrew ed beer, nature walks, culinary crafts, four-wheel drive and idyllic country hom e are all included w/ this tall, well-seasoned, gen uine 26 YO. O n ly serious, honest, pas sionate, free-spirited and beautiful w om en need inquire. 64409____________ S W M , 27, 5’11”, 155LBS., S TIL L looking, into music, movies, hockey, cof fee, talk and having a fun time. Take the first step, give me a call. 64401__________ A T T R A C T IV E , C H A R ISM A T IC , M , 32, just out o f LTR, seeking attractive F for intense, creative encounters. 64410 L O O K IN G F O R T H E YIN T O H E L P w/ my yang. A dventurous, spontaneous. W ant friendship, maybe more. 64404 S H O V E L SN O W , D R IV E T R U C K , don’t chew or swear. L ooking for som e one to go to church w ith. Please, please, please. 64299 ___________________ _ M A R R IE D W M , 39, W H O ENJOYS sex & believes variety is the spice o f life, ISO like m inded F for fun. Discreet, no strings. 64295_________________________ Y O U N G P R O F E S SO R , S W M , N S , 33, 150lbs., attractive, athletic. Fun-loving historian seeks LTR w / attractive, profes sional F. N o vegetarian crunch ies or single parent divorcees, please. 64292______ E N E R G E T IC W M , 38, 5 ’10”, physical ly fit, looking for natural, sem i-attractive lady, 28-45, who enjoys ou td o o r activities & having fon. 64286______ _____ _ H E L L O D A R L IN ’. M E: W M , blonde/ blue, 6 ’, 200lbs., N S, like to have fun, dance, party. 64405 _____________ W M , 45 , A T T R A C T IV E , S E N SIT IV E , caring, varied interests, seeking F, 25-45, to trade smiles, share feelings and experience som e good tim es w ith. 64284______ L O N E W O L F O N T H E PR O W L . D W M , 28, seeks passionate she-wolf, 2035, for frolic in snow. N eed to be athletic and howl at the m oon. 64280 P O L K A D O T EYES, 2 FEET, O N E nose. N SM , 25, 5 7 ”, 120 lbs., a body enjoying this life-dance; a being on fire -let’s share ours, or just patty-cake. 64282 S W M , 18, SEEKS SWF, 18-20, W H O enjoys skiing, hiking, rom antic evenings outdoors & a great tim e. Well, I m ay be the one for you!! 64283____________ __ L O V IN G , FIN ANCIALLY SEC U R E , N S W P M , 42, 5 7 0 ”, looking for a skiing partner or ou td o o r enthusiast, 30-45, for a fun, playful relationship. Love o f ani __ mals a + .6 4 2 6 5 A T T R A C T IV E , FIT, 6 ’3 ”, 200LBS., looking for intelligent, athletic girl (3540) who likes sailing, skiing, tennis, w ater sports, live music, travel & kids. 64276 D W M , 42, P R O F E S SIO N A L , attractive, looking to m eet a slim , active, dow n to earth w om an w / a sense o f hum or. Central VT. All responses answered. 64269 ISO SF S N O W B O A R D E R W / N O interest in children for riding on Sun. & M on., T uckerm an’s for m ud season, rock clim bing & single-track biking as su m mer perm its. Me: 32, SW M , w inter bearded snow board patroller, 5 ’9 ”, leader, slow, b u t tech, biker. 64272 N IC E GUY, 42, L O O K IN G F O R attractive, nice girl w/ sense o f h u m o r to develop relationship & lots o f fun w ith. Take a chance. 64266 L IG H T U P Y O U R LIFE! H onest SW PM , 3 0 ’s, energetic, active, en tertain ing, hum orous & physically fit, seeking D /S W F to share skiing, hiking, M ontreal, gourm et cooking, din in g out, travel, com panionship & m eaningful conversation. Friendship first! 64271 G O O D M A N: 40 , K IN D , L O V IN G , spiritual, very m usical, handy, fit & good looking D W M seeks great lady w ho is easy-going, fun, pretty; w ho I can m ake laugh and keep happy. 6 4 2 5 9 ___________ D R U G O F C H O IC E : F R E N C H ROAST. O th er addictions: film, baseball, garlic, jazz. Athletic, b ut literate S W M , 28, seeks attractive, dynam ic, fit SF to explore w ith. 64253____________________ LADY IN R E D , READY T O W IN E & dine, m aybe have a good tim e. L ooking for fun from m ountains to the sun. You: 21-35 YO. Me: 27. 64246 S E N S IT IV E M ALE. SPM , em otionally & financially secure, honest & caring, very active & fit; loves to cook, travel, dance, attractive inside & o u t ISO SPF, over 30, sensitive, attractive, fit, no fear. Race u n im p o rtan t. 64256

D e a r L o la , I se c re tly so t b r e a s t im p l a n t s la s t y e a r . T h ey lo c k s c r e a l a n d t h e s c a r r i n g is v ir t u a lly n o n ex isten t. B ut I ju s t m e t a g r e a t g u y w h o is v e r y p o litic a lly c o r r e c t , a n d I'm t e r r i f i e d to tell h im . H e p r o b a b l y t h in k s I ’m a p r u d e b e c a u s e I w o n 't le t h im t o u c h m e . I'm w o r r i e d h e w o n 't w a n t to s e e m e w h e n h e f i n d s cu t m y tits a r e f a k e . (F o r t h a t m a t t e r , m y h a i r is dyed a n d m y t e e t h a r e c a p p e d . ) On t h e o t h e r h a n d , I d o n ’t w a n t to a p o lo g iz e f o r d o i n g t h in g s t h a t m a k e m e fe e l good. — G a rga n tu a n in G eo rg ia

D ea r G a rga n tu a n , T h e b ig lie vs. b y e b y e. If y o u fe e l s c good, w h y c a n ’t y o u tell h i m ? A n d w h y w o u ld y o u d a te s o m e o n e w h o se v a l u e s a r e n ’t in l i n e w ith y o u r s , a n y w a y ? Ju st b eca u se h e p ro b a b ly t h i n k s c o s m e t i c s u r g e r y is a k i n to g e n i ta l m u t ila t io n d o e s n ’t m e a n y o u h a v e to f e e l lik e a s h a llo w b l o n d e b im b o , y o u g o t t h o s e b o o b s to b e in p e o p l e ’s f a c e s . F la s h h im , b a b y , a n d m a y b e h e ’ll c h a n g e h is d e v i a n t , p .c . w a y s.

W ith lo v e,

J jo la

march

12,

1997

PERSON < TO > PERSON B R U ISE D , B U T N O T B R O K E N . H ealed, b u t n o t whole. 2 years now, still missing som ething... Y O U . S W P M , 5*9”, 185lbs., no offspring, no alimony, ISO SWF, honest, attractive, fun to be w ith. Skier a plus, or w ants to learn. 64257 SEEKS T H IR D S H IF T E R . S W M , 44, 6 ’, 175 lbs., sm oker (quitting soon!), Fit, creative, intelligent, seeks 3rd shift SW F (nurse?) to howl at m oon w / in LTR. You w ouldn’t norm ally answer ad. Sense o f hum or, touch o f class... let’s q uit w onder ing w hy we are alone. 64254 TALL, A T T R A C T IV E , P R O F E S S IO N AL SW N S M , 31, 6 ’3 ”, 195 lbs., loves hiking, biking, go lf and o u td o o r activi ties. I ’m a well-educated professional, loves cuddling, movies & non-stop laughing. I ’m seeking an honest, attrac tive F, 25-34, interested in a LTR. 64252 F IR S T W IN T E R IN C E N T R A L VT. W P M , 36, seeks F, 30-40, for snowshoeing, X -C skiing, m aking snow angels, exploring the em pty (and n o t so em pty) places on the m ap. Sense o f hum or, love o f children and books desired. 64250

FO R SERIOUS PERSON... LIFE IS T O O short for games. Sports watcher, fishing lover. GBF, 62, NS, N D . 64483 SWGF, 30’S, PROFESSIONAL, LOOKIN G for someone to laugh, have fun, and be spontaneous with, but serious enough for a relationship w/ lots o f love, companionship and warmth. Please write. 64479 M ARRIED BiF SEEKING HONEST, car ing, fun, passionate woman. Will give same. Interests: dancing, weight lifting, reading. N O threesomes, please. Dare to be yourself. Call me. 64477 BiWF, 20, COLLEGE STUD ENT, political activist, seeks a woman to hold her hand & her heart. 64261

LOOKIN G FOR AN ADVENTUROUS soul mate to meet exciting, new challenges at my side. Come hike w/ me! 64455______ SUBMISSIVE SEEKS SERIOUS MAS TER. GW M , 47, novice, open to all disci plines, begs your kind indulgence, Sir, to help expand limits in areas you deem neces sary. 6 4 4 15 SUNSETS A N D S H O O T IN G STARS. GM , 37, artist/student, good looking, NS, 1651bs. Interests: spirituality, literature, for eign films, nature & hiking. Seeking same, 28-48. 64419 GAY MAN “STEEPS FO R LOVE”... SO don’t hold back, and also try to get geared up, because I’m the treasure and it’s Valentine’s Day - k! 64287_______ _______ 20 YO M S IT T IN G BY T H E W INDOW , reading Annie Dillard, Sarah Schulman and Adrienne Rich; into social ecology, writing, walking, linguistics, bread. Discreetness is evil. 64290 ATTRACTIVE BiWM, 37, TR IM , tired “ o f the talk, wanting sensual action now. No relationship, just fun & frolic. You: under 40, trim, playful, yet discreet and intelligent. 64291________ ___________________ BiWM, 39, 6’1”, ALL AM ERICAN GUY ISO some good hot fun. Discreet, no strings, just fun. 64268

MEN SEEKING MEN W M , 20’S, SEEKS O T H ER MALES, 1835, for bedroom activities. No chubbies. 64502 GW M , 30, BURT REYNOLDS LOOK, seeking fun & friendship w/ no strings attached. I’m in a open relationship. You: clean, safe, masculine. Seeking preferrably bottoms. 64507 BiAM, 26, 5’6 ”, 125 LBS., EDUCATED, good looking, seeks B/WM for discreet, good time. Must be clean. 64532 ______ SWBiM, EARLY 30’S, 150LBS., 5’10”, good looking, thin build, ISO someone similar for intimate encounters, not inter ested in relationships. 64465 BiWM, 42, VISITS BU R LINGTON regularly, seeks other Bi/GW M ’s, 18-45, for dis creet, good times. Clean, honest, sincere only. 64485 BiWM, 33, ISO G/Bi, HAIRY FRIENDS to share discreet times. Must be clean, ND, and dom inant. Me: 5’6 ”, 195 lbs., br/br. You: slim, 30-40, hairy a +. St. Albans area preferred, photo appreciated, all answered. 64480 CAPE C O D VACATION AVAILABLE Sept. ’97. Let’s plan now. Biking, swim ming, sailing, dancing, sunsets, seafood. W hat more could a sane person want?!? 64472 G W M , 50, FRANKUN-LAM OILLE county, seeks Bi/GM for evening & week end fun. JSC students very welcome. Must be clean, discrete. 64438

WOMEN SEEKING WOMEN F T O F, 18, M ID N IG H T-B LA C K HAIR, 5’6", 115 lbs., loves poetry, dancing, music, etc. Looking for same. Age 18-25 preferred. Hope you love to walk on the wild side. 64488_____________________________ _ _ VERY RELIGIOUS, LOVING LESBIAN ISO sister seeker. I’m gorgeous, vibrant, alive in my body. You’re proud, free, m en tally healthy. Let’s sing, hike, weave beauty together. 64498 ______________ ______ GF ISO G/BiF. INTERESTS IN C L U D E r writings o f Califia and Oakgrovc, m otor cycles, moonlight, good food and quick wit. ND, no men. Come ride w/ me. 64467 GWF, EASYGOING, KIND-HEARTED and sincere, seeks honest, fun-loving rela tionship w/ someone who likes the out doors. Love many activities; have toys: snowmobile, go-carts, boat, etc. Let’s enjoy ourselves in Central VT. 5’5", 150 lbs., brown hair & eyes. 64486

M/S/DF, 20-35? 30 YO M AVAILABLE for flexible rendezvous o f adult fun, frolic and fetish. Weight proportionate to height. Photo appreciated & discretion absolutely assured. 64435 T H E GUY IN T H E FURRY HAT IS IN search o f the perfect mate. Do you like smoking, Tacitus and classic rock? Wishes to pay homage to your intellect and its con tainer. 64454

Cruise with your single friends •Hnew, old,

an d th ose y o u have y e t to m eetl

Get the details at our Singles Cruise Party! 7-9 p.m., Thursday, March 20

SAW Y O U T W IC E (K IT C H E N E T C . & crossing Bank St.) Sun., 3 /12. You: shoulder length, brown hair, tall, glasses. Me: brow n hair, blue eyes, small fram ed. Nice smile. W ant to share a meal? 64493 YOU: TALL, T H IN , L O N N N G G G legs and full lips. W e collided at the m at tress store. We both liked the soft, springy ones. See you at Oz! 64528 W E M E T A T T H R E E N E E D S LAST Saturday. You liked m y smile, I liked your hair. I lost your num ber. Call me. 64526 F O U N D Y O U O N M Y WAY H O M E on highway 29; going faster than we should; th at’s w hat m ade it good. You m ade me feel like a big wheel! Babe, I ’d give you a ride anywhere. You decide! I changed m y m ind... 645 2 9 3 /1 1 , 1 A .M ., F IR E ST A T IO N parking lot after M etronom e. O range wool jack et, attractive. I w ant to m eet you. I ’m away 3/17-4 /1 . H opefully intrigued. 64527 D EA R “M A R R IE D & G O R G E O U S ,” Sounds like fun. H ear from you soon if you like it that way. D rinks optional. 64515 M U D D Y W ATERS, 3 /3 /9 7 . You: straight, brow n hair, w riting furiously. Me: long, dark hair, glasses, having coffee w/ friend. N ext tim e w / you? 645 0 6 D A N C E D W I T H YOU. U n dulating dance floor... good word. You w / p in striped pants & not m uch else. Say, d id I say “goodbye”? O r d id you say “I am a free spirit?” Are you reading this? W ant more? Call me. 64504

OTHER N U D IS T COU PLE (BURL.) W O U LD like to meet other area nudist couples for friendship, get togethers and summer fun. No sex, no drugs, smokers O.K. 64489 ATTRACTIVE SW M, HEALTHY, intelli gent runner, 40’s, seeking sensitive couple(s) for extended, alternative LTR._________ HAVE YOU EXPLORED YOUR SEXUALITY and consider yourself sincerely bisexual? Are you a woman or man who is in shape, intelligent, gentle, into healthy food, good music, other sensual pleasures? If so, this 40‘s bisexual couple w/ similar qualities would like to hear from you. 64503_________________________________ LEARN YOUR ABC’S. Answer Because Could Do Effortless F. Guess How? I: Male. Just Kiss, Love Me Now O r Persuade, Quiver & Reflect Sex. Thunderstruck. U: F, Vexing, Want X-rated. Y? Z answer is with you. 64505

Orchid Restaurant

5 Corporate Way, So. Burlington Bring a donation to the emergency food shelf

RSVP b y Sunday, March 16

C r u is e O is e ®

Patti & Dick Malone VowLocal MqandMtCniMSpMalati

•UsSSS?

South Hero, VT

802-372-6321 or toll free 888-599-7245, Y O U : R O U N D FACE, E B O N Y SPEC S, m o u th on fire. O u r eyes m et in front o f Kiss T h e C ook. Coffee wasn’t enough. Are we playing on the sam e team , cool cat? 64475 Y O U HAVE B L O N D E H A IR , Y O U R nam e has three letters in it. I saw you at N ectar’s Fri. & Sat. nights. H o p e o ur paths cross again. 644 7 8 SAMSARA, D U S K WAS FA LLIN G . You: crim son-hooded sw eatshirt, dark hair, dark eyes h id d en b eneath spectacles. You are lovely. Let’s m eet. 64476 SAW Y O U AT T H E S U PER M A R K ET , y our nam e was som e sort o f currency. We spoke o f y our recent trip to Russia. You’re m y soul m ate. Call m e. 644 6 8

5 d.g't box n e p e r s can be coniac ied either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w S5 to FO Box 11 64 , Burlington, V I 0 5 4 0 2 SWF, 32, 5’2 ”, AUBURN/BLUE, buxom mother; M.A. Psychology, singcr/songwritcr/artist/intcllectual; have mood disor der. ISO LTR w/ kind, compassionate, funny, bright man. Box 112

To respond to mailbox ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box# on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response and address to: PERSON TO PERSON d o SEVEN DAYS, RO. Box 1164, Burlington, V T 05402

SF, 18, MATURE, EM OTIONALLY and physically, looking for M who’s the same (18-20). I love food, good movies and laughter. A little romance appreciated! Box 115 BETTER C H E C K YOUR WATCH. A— friend says I’ve done it backwards: dog and bouse before partner. Nah, you’re just late. ISO 26-34 YO, playful, intelligent, similar. Box 118 DTUYOU LOVE'R OBERTBOSW ELL’S Mystery Ride? I’m 46 YO and I’d like to talk. Box 110

SWF

38,

RUBENESQUE, AITRAC------

TIVE, myriad interests, seeking NICE GUY, 25-45, to trust, share and explore life’s gifts. Ctrl. VT/Burlington area. Box 096

A T O Z. A thletic, bilingual com poser desires energetic F, genuinely hedonistic. I m jocular, king-sized, lean, m agm anim ous, nicotine opposed, passionate. Q uest: relaxed senioress, tolerant, under standing, vibrant w om an. Xpress your zipcode. Box 117 S E C O N D -S H IF T W O R K MAKES IT hard to date; been too long since I ’ve had a m ate. You’re petite, between 30 & 50. W on’t we be nifty? Box 114 EARLY F IF T IE S , L O O K S EARLY forties, SW M ISO F w ho’s never ow ned a com puter, V C R or credit card, but has

read Finnegan’s Wake, and wears long cham bray dresses. Box 109 N S /N D P W M , A T H L E T IC , SEC U R E , handsom e, kind, honest, sensuous, diverse, adventurous, independent, som e flaws. Likes: sports, outdoors, travel, good beer, m u sic A bout you: sim ilar interests, attractive, around 40. Box 107 BLACK & W H IT E . W M seeking BF. N o strings, discreet, clean & passionate. Any age, w eight or situation. D aytim e fun. Smokers welcome. Box 104 C l RL. VTER, S W M , 49, well read, youthful, athletic, seeks an assertive, cultivated, dom ineering F, 50-65. Box 102

C hildren/grandchildren. N o fancy w ord here. Just to enjoy rest o f life. Box 094

M ARRIED BiW M , 38, ATTRACTIVE, well-built, seeking SBiWM. Imagine the possibilities. All letters will get a fast response. A photo is appreciated, but not necessary. Box 100 G W M , 5’10”, 165Ibs., H O N E ST, O PEN minded, loves the outdoors, hiking, biking, nature, ISO G M 20-40 for friendship and good times. Box 087

GWF, 3 0 ’S , SEEKS FR IE N D SH IP W IT H

intellectually challenging, sensitive, honest, compassionate woman. You are spiritually minded, appreciate humor, the arts, beauty, truth. Enjoyment o f outdoor activities as well as cultural pursuits desired. Creative, playful, gentle soul please write. Box 095

LIFE IS M U S IC (W IZ N , BLUES); m ountain aired thoughts; wanderlusting; bowling. Bowling??? N S, 36, ISO Cowgirl in the S and/H eart o f G old (’cause I’m growin’ old). Box 103 39 YO ALASKIAN F IS H IN G BOAT C A PT A IN ISO adventurous V T lady. We cruise S.E. Alaska this sum m er; you show me V T in the fall. Photo. Box 098 70 YRS. Y O U N G D W M . Clear out your attic. I did. Saved the good times.

CENTRAL VT, M ARRIED BiM, 37, slen der, in shape m ountain man seeks hum or ous BiM for friendship and wild times outdoors. Clean & discreet. Box 116_________ SGM , 36, W O U L D LIKE T O M EET M EN interested in the esoteric as well as the erotic. NS, vegetarian preferred; intelli gence, humor, independence and honesty appreciated. People tell me my eyes are compelling. Box 105

CO U PLES W A N T ED T O TRAVEL, dine out, shop, do stuff with and movies (home & walk-ins). For more info write. Box 115 WF, 26, ISO S T R O N G , H A N D SO M E M, 30-40’s, with sense o f hum or for rom an tic and sensual friendship. No strings, discretion assured and expected. Box 113 ANTI-SOCIAL, B U T ATTRACTIVE SW M, 50, would like to have a woman read him Being and Tim e while she wears a long, black, thrift-store evening dress. Box 108

Love in cyberspace. Point your web browser to http://www.wizn.com/7days.htm to submit your message on-line.

Person to Person

How to place your FRC€ personal ad with Person to Person C O U P O N ANt> M A IL ,T T O : p e r s o n a l s , p . o . 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 1 5 . P L E A S E C H E C K A P P R O P R IA T E C A TEG O RY .

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