Seven Days, March 26, 1997 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE

lavish wedding reception with a check stolen from one o f the guests. T he next day Zafiratos stole the guests car, which was later found abandoned and extensively damaged. Zafiratoss marriage ended two m onths later when he was taken into custody after a crime spree,

r • s' , , tour-wheel"point the boner” then lowered the demand to money.

p H A iv m r i] ] After two months aboard the Russian space station Mir last fall, two Russian cosmonauts and an American astronaut found their toilet tanks overflowing because ^ four unm anned space

bogus checks am ounting I % to U S$115,500 to pay jS & l for a sports car, jewelry, clothing and the services o f a prostitute. "You have added new m eaning to the word con tem ptible,” District C ourt 111 O U T O F X ) J A M

Supreme C ourt in Darwin,

rood and had to stop ah : Spokane, W ashington, to wait for a delivery from Kentucky Fried Chicken to feed its 109 passengers. It arrived in down town Seatde Sunday night nearly 12 hours late. "I was

the station I. ■ - -J

m ore, a iuman

’t find a pum p that d to be on board to waste into space in

50, was charged w ith attem pt ing to extort US$7600 by threatening to "point the bone,” or place a death curse, on comedian Kevin W ilson and his family after he heard W ilson

b o x p ad u riA g d . kitchen stove while the homeowner slept on a nearby couch, Another time, a 30-year-old woman who found her dresser drawers in disarray said one o f herundeigaitnents had been dropped in the middle o f the t; J L , a__ CL. . J J . J _____

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26,

1997

weekly mail

M O N E Y W H E R E HIS

• 24 Barney home videos are available, with pro

A R T IS

duction underway on 10 more; • while PBS, o f course, pays for the rights to air

Undoubtedly due to the interviewee’s modesty, Kevin

“Barney & Friends,” that does not cover what it

Kelley’s excellent article on

costs to produce the show;

Merchants Bank President Joe

• public television does receive a portion of rev

Vermont authors Tim Brookes a n d Chris Bohjalian take on

Boutin (“Mr. Merchants,”

enue from merchandise sales related to the TV

matters o f mortality. Reviews: Signs o f Life a n d M idwives.

March 12) failed to m ention the

program;

By Peter Kurth & Nancy Stearns Bercaw...........

generous financial support that

• “Barney & Friends” has helped public televi

the bank has provided in its

sion raise millions o f dollars in pledges from

sponsorship o f Burlington City

viewers;

Arts’ Firehouse Gallery.

• Lyrick gives back to children in need through

Getting Vermont lam b to m arket is easier said than done

M erchants’ substantial cash

Barney’s Goodwill program, benefiting children’s

By Molly S t e v e n s ............. ...........................................page 11

donation, as well as the gift o f

hospitals and other deserving recipients;

artwork from their collection,

• Lyrick Studios produces “Barney & Friends.”

has made it possible to keep the

There is no “Barney, Inc.”

LIFE AND DEATH

page 7

COUNTING SHEEP

ALL IN A DAYCARE'S WORK H om e daycare providers are helping to m in d each others

Barney was created by a mother and former

Firehouse alive and well, show casing the work o f local artists

teacher who believes in innocent, wholesome

and keeping a real cultural pres

entertainm ent for preschoolers. Mr. Kisonak

ence on Church Street.

may not like the show, but we do wish he would have taken time to learn the facts.

— Pascal Spengem ann

business — a n d children

By Ruth Horowitz ........................................................ page 13

SOMETHING'S ROTTEN IN MONTPELIER

Curator, Firehouse Gallery

— Susan Eisner Furman

Burlington

Media Relations Manager, Lyrick Studios

...a n d i t isn't the politics Richardson, Texas

By Robert K i e n e r ........................................................ page 23

(Rick Kisonak responds, page 26)

BARNEY BASHER

CREATION THEORY

As creators and producers o f JOBS IN HEALTH CARE AILING

“Barney &C Friends,” the most

Review: B (l)in d in g ( ^M o tio n

In an incredible display o f arrogance,

popular television program for

By Pamela Polston.................................................... page 25

Governor Dean decreed that no form o f income

children under age six, we find it unfortunate that, as a professional journalist,

tax shall be part of how we Vermonters fund

Mr. Kisonak failed to research his topic (Tube

education. He would have us believe that his rea

Fed, February 19) before making his mean-spir

son for this has to do with his concern for being

ited criticisms o f our show.

able to attract jobs to Vermont. If jobs for Vermonters is of such concern to the governor,

Following an in-depth, three-year study, Yale University researchers described “Barney &

I’m left wondering why he hasn’t shown some

Friends” as “...virtually a model of what a

concern over the loss o f Vermonters’ jobs in the

preschool program should be.” The study under

health-care industry. Fletcher Allen, I see, plans to cut another

scores how very young children learn through repetition. W hile Mr. Kisonak terms the repeat

425 jobs. Didn’t they cut 200 jobs less than a

rate “torture to the infant brain,” it is more likely

year ago? Yes, indeed, they did! And yet, I

that it is “torture” to his adult brain. But Barney

haven’t heard Governor Dean declare war on his

is not intended for adults.

buddies in the health-care bureaucracy over the elimination o f these jobs. How about it,

Had Mr. Kisonak done his homework, he would also know that:

Governor Dean? W hy don’t we declare war on

• 68 episodes are now showing on PBS;

the profit-mongers, legislate significant health

• production is underway on 60 new episodes of

care reform which puts people before profits,

“Barney & Friends;”

and save some real jobs for Vermonters? — Sue Tritz Euphrat, RN

• four new Barney home videos were recently

Brattleboro

released;

departments

news q u i r k s ........................................... page 2 week 1y ma i 1 ............................................... page 3 e x pos u r e .......................... ..... . . . • page 3 straig h t d o p e ............................................... page 4 inside track .......................................... page 5 backtalk .......................... .......................... page 6 sound advice ............................................... page 8 calendar .............................................................. page 18 tube fed .............................................................. page 26 talking pictures ..........................................page 27 art lis t in g s .................................................... page 28 wellness directory .................................. page 30 health q&a ......................................................... page 30 real astrology ...............................................page 31 c l a s s i f i e d s ......................................................... page 32 greetings from dug nap ..........................page 32 p e r s o n a l s .............................................................. page 33 l ol a, the love counselor . . . . page 34

staff

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly ART DIRECTORS Samantha Hunt, James Lockridge WWW GUY James Lockridge PRODUCTION MANAGER Samantha H unt CIRCULATION HANAGER/CLA5SIFIEDS/PERSONAL5 Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Nancy Payne, Erik Swanson, Rick Woods CALENDAR WRITER Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Marialisa Calta, Rachel Esch, Peter Freyne, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Samantha Hunt, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter

PHOTO: CHRISTIAN DOHN / BIG HEAVY WORLD

e x p o su re

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The world is full o f cynics. So don’t take their word for it (or ours!)

true story. I went to the video store and, sure enough, on the back of the box it said the movie was based on real events. I rented it, and after my friends and I watched it we got to wondering just how true this story is. Cecil, help us out here. How loosely is the movie based on the real story? What are the facts? ■ — Mike McGrory, via the Internet If you’re looking for me to tell you there really was a family of backwoods weirdos, including a goon in a mask called Leatherface, and that a kid really went into their house and got hit with a hammer, and then his girlfriend went looking for him, and Leatherfoce impaled her on a meat hook while he butchered the boyfriend with a chain saw, and then a second guy went looking for the first two and got hammered too, and then Leatherface sawed up yet another guy in a wheelchair, and then one last woman got away and found refuge in a barbecue shop, only it turned out the barbecue was really human flesh, and the shops proprietor was Leatherfaces cousin or something, and they were really all cannibals... um, sorry, but this isn’t a 100 per cent accurate reenactment of actual events. The real Leatherface didn’t use a hammer. Also the chain saw was a whimsical creative touch. The original also lacked the,cheesy sound track and 70s hairstyles. However, I’m not telling you that director Tobe Hooper made the whole thing up. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was — well, I don’t know that “inspired” is the word you want to use here, but at any rate Hooper gpt the idea from a sensational 1957 m u r d e t ' former Ed Gem, Gem’s exploits weren’t <pire the over-the-top carnival of crime deprored fn the movie, but for an amateift he did ^OK. Grins mother was a domineering Biblc-thumper who persuaded her son that all women were evil strumpets. He cared for mom alone after she had a stroke, and when she finally died he nailed shut the rooms where she’d lived. He was fascinated by crime stories, anatomy textbooks, and embalming and liked to discuss them with folks in the nearby town of Plainfield. People found him a little odd but likable. L ,tO n t d * l ™ 7 Worden, proprietor of the town hardware srore. vanished under suspicious circumstances. Clues pointed to Gein,

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Greer, even though he was sitting front and center at the defense table. W ith the jury gone, the defense argued that the judge should recon “Welcome to the big show!” was Be Bop sider an earlier ruling in which he refused to | Bobby Kalina’s opening line to the federal suppress the questionable procedure used in the court jury last Thursday. Kalinas the attorney photo line-up. I representing Billy Greer, who’s charged with The prosecution stumbled early, but there’s what the U.S. government paints as an interna a long way to go. tional drug smuggling enterprise on a par with W hat First Amendment? — U.S. Senator | a Colombian cartel. Patrick Leahy has become the nation’s First I The government, as in Assistant U.S. Am endm ent champion. In 1992 an attorney Attorney David Kirby, laid out a sweeping named Bill Sessions managed St. Patrick’s suc S indictment o f an enterprise that for almost 20 cessful re-election bid. No one’s saying manag years moved huge amounts o f hashish, marijua ing Leahy’s campaign had anything to do with na and U.S. currency across the ocean and getting a federal judgeship, but that’s what hap across the U.S.-Canadian border. pened to Sessions. But Bill Sessions is no Billy the Kid, Stephen H utchins, his alleged Patrick Leahy. fellow “m asterm ind,” and four other defendants Certainly it must have been a treat for | are facing up to 20 years in the slammer. Donoghue’s journalism students to see the trial I Opening day drew quite the turnout. In open with the judge kicking yours truly out of ®addition to friends and relatives of the defen1 the courtroom. The rule is, people on either dants and curious onlookers, the Burlington Free side’s witness list cannot sit in court before I Press cops reporter Michael D onoghue invited they’re called to testify. Yours truly is on Greer’s about 15 of his journalism students from St. witness list. Believe me, it’s not by request. Also Michael’s College. After all, admission, as on Greer’s list is DEA Agent Rick Carter, always at the courthouse, is free o f charge. James Bradley, the head o f the DEA in (More on Marvelous Mike later.) Vermont, the authors of the infamous Readers | Folks, like it or not, this is a case o f “if the Digest article and more. glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit. The govern Attorney Kalina is apparently interested in ment says it was an ongoing conspiracy. But the comments attributed to Agent Carter in the i defense says it wasn’t. That, yes, the boys may November 15, 1995 Seven Days cover story, 1 have been moving some pot around back in the “Billy the Kid,” written by ; 1980s, but, guess what, folks? yours truly. * The five-year statute o f limitaAccording to Greg Leslie, a 3 tions ran out on all that. staff member at the Reporters 3 As for the three huge Com mittee for Freedom of the i hashish operations up north, Press in Washington, D.C., ” well, jeezum crow, didn’t they there has been a disturbing “ all stand up in a Canadian trend o f late in which reporters courtroom in front o f a are being called to testify as wit 1 Canadian judge and admit their nesses in cases they’ve covered. guilt? Then they were shipped Button up, folks, it’s the old ^ off to a Canadian prison. The chilling effect. W hen yours truly 2 crime occurred in a foreign raised the First Amendment | country not in the U.S. o f A. issue to Sessions, he dismissed it | The government’s challenge is out-of-hand, saying he wouldn’t to make one bloody glove cover delay the trial to deal with it. ■one continuous “conspiracy” that O ut I went. He did deal with it I operated over a 13-year period. after the morning break, when Key to the prosecution will Attorney Norm Blais showed I be the testimony o f several I up to represent yours truly. %“snitches” who were the mules I l l L | Funny thing is, Big Mike didn’t >on the Canadian deal and have I I bother to have have his journal| since rolled over. Even Kirby ism students stick around for <1 warned the jury their testimony that. Hey, why should they be f won t be pretty. Some will lie, interested in the First said Kirby. One, Michael Amendment? Based on what Johnson, will testify that Donoghue wrote in his Freeps’ | Canadian police beat a confesarticle, it’s way over his head. I sion out o f him. After all, having Mike But the prosecution has a Donoghue teach journalism is a much bigger problem at present. The govern little like having Heidi Fleiss teach sexual absti m ent’s case suffered a severe blow on Day Two, nence. | out o f sight o f Marvelous Mike. A key eyewit Blais noted this reporter could not be ness was called for the purpose o f identifying required to testify about evidence that did not ; Billy Greer as the man on the ATV he met six make it into the Seven Days story. 1 years ago just north o f the Vermont border in “Now, your honor, the cat is completely out | Quebec. Douglas M ayhew fingered Greer in a o f the bag,” said Kalina. He then withdrew his I photo line-up in Derby Line back then. O ne of request that yours truly be banned from the Billy’s alleged partners driving another ATV got courtroom. i caught by Border Patrol agents that day carryNext, Kirby requested the courtroom ban | ing more than $1 million. The government says on yours truly be limited only to Agent Carter’s Greer escaped in a cloud o f dust, but Mayhew testimony. Sessions agreed, but, so far, the judge s met him earlier as “Mr. Thom pson,” and was has ducked a ruling on the First Amendment * able to identify his photo. issue. Please don’t tell Pat Leahy. Friday afternoon the prosecutor asked Joke #2 — Sam the Sham has pulled another | Mayhew to look around the courtroom and see Sam Hemingway! In his column on Bernie I if he could pick out the man who’d introduced Sanders hiring Donald Edwards, the Freeps star *himself to him as “Mr. Thom pson.” wrote how one would not expect those two I T he courtroom was silent as the elderly guys to be allies. “Yet there they were at a Canadian scanned the joint. Very slowly, he M onday news conference as Sanders announced | checked the jury box first, then the prosecution I Edwards was was joining his staff... ” table and the defense table. Mr. Mayhew even Next Sam described how Sanders “gushed” 8 checked the folks sitting in the public gallery. over Edwards and vice-versa. “Irony hardly I Then he spoke. describes the m om ent,” wrote Hemingway. “N o,” he said to the prosecutor. “He’s not W hat moment? Sam, what are you smok ■presently here.” ing? According to Sanders’ press secretary, Tina Uh-oh. T he prosecutor called for a recess. Wisell, there was no such news conference at I Their first key witness failed to identify Mr. Sanders’ office Monday. □

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J T I l/T T U IA : ! I A I \ L I f l U ; Hollywood has a short memory. Hence the ; requisite pre-Oscar “W here Are They Now?” reports. Last week ! Entertainment Weekly singled o u t Justin H enry, who at eight was ; nom inated for his portrayal o f “the tow-headed tyke o f Kramer ! vs, $ 0 to e r 5 H e tig |p e w up **— *-* * ^ ------------------- : J ; recendy returned to a ! the Vermont-made “

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t — to bring back | includes Clerks lead Brian O ’Halloran and Ally Sheedy, o f | Breakfast Club and War Games. “W here is Justin Henry?” says ; producer Brooke Wetzel, noting the triple coincidence. “H e is ! doing a “W here Are T hey Now?” movie . . . Speaking o f stars, ; actor Fred T uttle shows no signs o f flaming out. M onths after | M an With a Plan went to video, the retired dairy farmer has ! started turning down endorsem ent offers. H e said “yes” to the ; milk mustache —*coming up in the sum m er issue o f Vermont \ Life — and the f | Vermont Hem porium . "W here is Justin Henry?tf ! Tuttle comes out for ; cannabis in a televi! sion ad that will air at says producer Brooke J the end o f April. B ut ; the aging actor is no W etzel, noting the triple i sex symbol. So when ; someone from Paul ! Kaza called to ask coincidence. "He is doing ; about a pro-condom ! campaign sponsored ; by the Vermont a 'Where Are They Now?' j D epartm ent o f | Health, filmmaker I Jolln O ’Brien was movie." ! taken aback. They ; wanted a Fred photo to accompany the headline, “W hat Do You ! Take to Bed?” “Its sort o f perverse,” O ’Brien says, noting Tuttle ; is not only married, b u t post-prostate. D idn’t stop him, o f j course, from making a history-making appearance on the ; “Dating Gam e” . . .’M artin G uigui is still scouting locations for • Wedding B a n d — his long-awaited Vermont-made movie about | the weird and wacky relationship between music and matrimo; ny. Guigui is seeking a spot that combines “the tacky bourgeois ! look o f N orth Shore Long Island with the preppie appeal o f ; M arthas Vineyard.” If you have the time, and the threads, the j directors are recruiting extras Thursday at the Blue Couch Cafe. ; Jews and Italians are encouraged to apply.

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| REEL ISSUES: War, racism and environmental devastation j may not sell movies like cleavage and car chases. But they are ! the seldom-seen raison detre o f the Vermont International Film ; Festival popcorn-free cinem a that makes you think, not veg. 1 T he trick is getting no n -p x . people people to buy in. As direcj tor K enny Peck puts in, “W ho cares w hat o u r best intentions j are, i f nobody comes?” To ensure they do, therew ill be more ; feature films and anim ated works in the mix this year. T he j three-day festival runs O ctober 23-26, i Ikl R D 1 F F ; I n D M C r : W oody Jackson may have been the first Vermont 1 artist to go from p aint to pixels. His screensaver Holsteins ; inspired Ken Signorello o f H arbor W atch Publications to p u t i o u t two similar software packages. Fifteen bucks buys you a ! dozen garden landscapes by Jeannette Chupack. For a little

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! morc “ Pricc ‘n c l u ^ * «n«li donation to the Lake ; Cham plain M aritime M useum — you can get historic scenes o f j Lake Cham plain by Ernie Haas . . . Yo, readers? Is it my imagi! nation, or is Julia Alvarez everywhere*. T h e latest sighting was in j the New York Times Magazine — in a food article, o f all things,

S E V E N DAY S

; writer has spread to her Nebraska-born husband — surgeon Bill • 4« *u«tde tnaison, it was Eichner who coaxed the nowtt o f the Alvarez family - sweet-and-sour carj lean chicken, red beans an d rice, bread pud1, t o o , . . At the urging o f £ ith, Ironweed author W illiam Kennedy rom Albany next week. T h e Pulitzer ngle w ith students before a public ly. A former journalist, 69-year-old ous writers before he became one him Billy Phelans Greatest Game, Quinns >e Flaming Corsage and the screenplay Francis Ford Coppola. □

mar ch

26,

1997

Vermont authors Tim Brookes and Chris Bohjalian take on matters o f mortality S ig n s o f L i f e : Memoir o f D ying and D is c o v e r y , by Tim Brookes . Times Books, 269 p a g e s . $23.

Peter

Kurth

ust when I finished reading Signs o f Life, Tim Brookes’ provocative “M emoir of Dying and Discovery,” I heard on the news that medical researchers had finally m an aged to isolate genetic material from the Spanish flu virus that killed more than 20 million people worldwide in the influenza pandemic o f 1918. For years scientists have been

expecting the virus to resurface — “It can come again, and it will,” according to Dr. Robert Webster, chief o f viral and molecular biology at St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis. The question now is this: Will medicine know enough about the virus in time to save us from calamity, or

announced with a great drum roll that the discovery o f HIV was “another miracle [in] the long honor roll o f American medicine and science,” and that a vaccine for AIDS would be ready for testing faster than you could say Jonas Salk. Continued on page 14

march

26,

1997 i .p.n

BX_

Stearns

Nanc

Bercaw

M 1dw 1 ves, by 312

J ve seen men

Chris

Bohjalian.

Publishers,

pages.

$24.

ibyl Danforth catch es babies. Sitting with a laboring mother in the comfort of her own bed, s she’s a forcepts-free bumper between the warm womb and the cold world. But after hundreds of 1 natural births, she l stands accused of 1 "taking one life . while she was sup| posed to be facilitat ing another’s arriv Midwives, the fifth novel by Lincoln resident and Burlington Free /Yf’tt-columnist Chris Bohjalian, is set in Vermont’s Northeast Kingdom and told from the point of view of Danforth’s daughter, an obstetriciangynecologist. Connie Danforth recalls her family’s season in purgatory, “the long summer before my mother s trial began and those crisp days in the fall when her life was paraded publicly before the county — her char acter lynched, her wisdom impugned," with the clinical observation of her profession and the wide-eyed wonder of her youth. Under the back drop of her adoles cence, Connie Danforth recounts the events leading up to the trial from what she's garnered as an “avid parentwatcher." This pre cocious 13-year-old girl spews words like vulva “the way some kids say penis or puke," and mon itors conversations,

and women who were angels in life

world kicking and scream

W ith the experience of writing a book about dying — and watching his mother die in the process — now firmly behind him, local author Tim Brookes confess es to feeling “emotionally inside-out.” Signs o f Life was born in a “hallucinatory period,” Brookes says, when a pub lishing deal for a book about guns in America suddenly fell through and Brookes — a writer, teacher and com mentator for National Public Radio — found him self scrambling for a topic, facing eviction from a rent ed house in Shelburne, and not sure where the winds o f fortune might blow him next. If there’s a central mes sage to Signs o f Life, its that nothing is sure, and we might as well face it. A native of England, Brookes has lived in the United States since 1980, shortly after his father died o f cancer in the “normal” way — that is to say, under the full assault o f medical technology and in the dehu manizing atmosphere o f a hospital. (At the last moment, Brookes’ mother managed to rescue her hus band and get him to a lowtech nursing home.) It was after visiting a number of hospices around Vermont that Brookes first had the idea to explore the subject o f palliative care, and, frankly, to push the idea of hospice as hard as he could. Then, when his mother got sick in the mid dle o f his research, he was tossed willy-nilly into a new dimension. Signs o f Life was the sometimes painful result, “If the ordinary course o f events had continued,” says Brookes, “none o f this would have happened” — a fitting comment, probably, on all o f our lives.

Chris Bohjalians new novel delivers life after death

Cr own

depart this

V I T A L S IG N S

W O M B W IT H A V IE W

ing, and I ve seen odious people with horrible poliwill another 20 mil lion people bite the dust just when they thought they could safely cross that bridge to the new millennium? T hat medicine is supposed to save us, that it can save us and will save us, is a basic tenet o f Western culture, so thoroughly ingrained in the popular imagination as to be considered a fundamental right. You can blame antibiotics for this, or the polio vaccine, or Dolly the Sheep — whatever combi nation o f techno medical advances happens to give you some hope. In 1984, when researchers first identified H IV as the virus that causes AIDS, it was auto matically assumed that the biggest hur dle had been cleared, and that a cure was just around the corner. “Two years,” I think we were telling each other, and not just those o f us who knew we were at risk. Margaret Heckler, at that time U.S. Secretary o f Health and Hum an Services, had

fights and love making like a private investigator. Her curiosity heightens after the tragedy; we get to play voyeur by proxy — reading excerpts from her mother’s journal at the beginning of each chapter. “I view this as my story, too," she says, “and why I believe babies became my calling as well.” It’s the saga of a town turned upside-down by a woman’s death dur ing childbirth and the people who turn on a midwife’s strange craft. M id wives is about Vermont — where life is charted by the season, where opposing views share the same vista and where even the bestintentioned outsiders are suspect. .Bohjalian's thriller begins as the jury is about to deliver Sibvl's verdict. Connie, who has learned to believe old wives' and midwives’ tales, takes note of the jurors' behavior, and because they don't look at her mother on their way in from deliber ations has to be escorted sobbing hysterically from the courtroom. But before we re made privy to their decision, we hear about the difficult one Sibvl had to make on March 14, 1981. By most accounts, Charlotte Fugett Bedford’s pregnancy was routine. The Bedfords were new arrivals, but Charlotte’s late-term pre natal visits with Sibyl were unremarkable. Reverend Asa Bedford, “convinced that the Northeast Kingdom was ripe for revival,” brought his wife and their seven-vear-old son from Alabama to build a congregation and a family.

But once labor sets in, so too does bad luck. Sibyl and her apprehensive apprentice Anne arrive at the Bedford house as the temperature is drop ping. Around midnight, Mother Nature stops Continued on page 15

SEVEN DAYS V

Vi V*,+0/0 >

page

8 -1 /2 y e a r s la te r ,

F in a lly !

V e rm o n t

pub &brewery S T A G E

ZOLA TURNOVER 2

Well, it didn’t take long for Burlington’s all-female alt band to find a replace ment for outgoing drummer Ann Mindell. And the winner is: another female, Rachel “Tex” BischofF, who ironically was the very first drummer to play with Zola before they were Zola. BischofF debuts this Thursday. Vocalist/rhythm guitarist Jenn Karson reports that their new member, a music major at UVM and employee at Advance, can not only pound the skins; she’s a sound engineer and can.sing, too. “Her sound and recording knowledge are pretty phenomenal,” says Karson. “It’s really a good vibe.”

1 4 4 c o lle g e s t r e e t

ALL RISE

I don’t know whether to make allusions to the Resurrection or the Easter Bunny, but it’s surely no coincidence that the Dave Jarvis Band is

staging — literally — a rebirth this Sunday at Toast. The band, including Tim Malloy and Jeff and Jason Leavitt, plans a new release in time for April showers — a preview can be heard Friday at 5 p.m., along with live interview, on 96.7 The Pulse. The station is also picking up what Jarvis terms the legendary “Tow Truck” for airplay.

RETURN TO SENDER

Speaking of revivals, Strangefolk is back, too — from a massive fiveweek tour down the East Coast, out past the Rockies and back again. On March 13, the free wheelin’ foursome joined fellow travelers Belizbeha in Aspen for a spontaneous combustion of Burlington music. Strangefolk does Toast this Wednesday, with Philadelphia’s Disco Biscuits, and will be broadcast live on the Internet by Big Heavy World (www.bigheavyworld.com). On that note, BHW’s James Lockridge reports he’s installing a fast ISDN Internet connection in the club, bring-

C o n tin u ed on page 10

Got something to tell Rhythm & News? Call Pamela at (802) 864.5684. Or mail your rip to P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402, or e-mail to sevenday^togethcr.net.

BAND NAME OF THE WE E K:

Easter Island Pond

...B E N E , B E N E This w eek you can do a good turn w h ile you have a good tim e

C lu b M

i N

5th Anniversary Wednesday, April 2

ANNIVERSARYPARTY, 8 pm /Jhampagne, hors d'oeuvres & m rprises followed byJUSAGROOVE Thursday, April 3 j W EL BROWN Friday, April 4 J BABY'SNICKEL BAG- CDRelease Party Saturday, April 5 Monday, April 7 Tuesday, April 8 Wednesday, April 9 ?TS0 Thursday, Apr! ID ffc. followedby Lindy Pear, MyOwnSweet, Barbacoa USAGERMANO Friday, April 11 MELISSAFERRICK 188 Main Street • Burlington • 865-4563

— tw ice. Tammy Fletcher, in the w ake of a surprise impromptu perform ance w ith Phish at the Flynn last w eek, lends her big voice to th e 2nd Annual Rock for Childcare — a benefit for the Chittenden County W orthy W age Coalition — at Toast Thursday. Bad Neighbors open. (Tammy's at M etronom e Friday, too.) Saturday, head to Montpelier's City Hall for Be That W ay (left), Zola Turn and Chin Ho! in concert for the Pyralisk. The legendary gallery-perform ance space-com m unity center, w hich closed last year, is looking fo r a n ew home. And w h a t becomes a legend m ost? Money, please.

WEDNESDAY JAMES 0 BAND (eclectic), Cactus Cafe, 7 p.m. NC. JOHN BOEHM (folk legend series), Java Love, 8 p.m. NC. LEOPARD LOUNGE (drag, funk, all-request DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $2. STRANGEFOLK, DISCO BISCUITS (jam rock), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $8. SMOKIN' GRASS (bluegrass), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. AYE (worldbeat), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. HEARTATTACK97 (DJs Roberto Rcnna & guests), Dockside, 10 p.m. $5. ABAIRBROS. (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. GEORGE PETIT (jazz), Rio’s, Winooski, 8 p.m. NC. ALTERNATIVE DJ, James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Cambridge Coffee House, Smugglers Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 7 p.m. NC.

THURSDAY

OPEN MIKE NIGHT WITH MARK GALBO (acoustic)Xactus Cafe, 8 p.m. NC. GEORGE PETIT & THE DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Halvorsoris, 9 p.m. $2. ZOLA TURN, KATHERINE QUINN (alt-rock, singer-songwriter), North Lounge, Billings, UVM, 9 p.m. NC. TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES, BAD NEIGHBORS (r&b, soul; Rock for Childcare benefit), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $5. (SIC) (groove machine), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $4. BUZZ NIGHT (alt DJ), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $2 after 11 p.m. AYE (worldbeat), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FUNKS G (fusion rock), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. NC. MATTMCGIBNEY& FRIENDS (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. ABAIRBROS. (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. PARKSVACHON (acoustic rock), Jake’s, 7 p.m. NC. TNT (karaoke & DJ), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. NC. IAN & JIM (DJs), Charlie-o’s, Montpelier, 9 p.m. NC. SMOKIN'GRASS (bluegrass), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. OPEN MIKE, Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. NC. BRUCE SKLAR TRIO (jazz), Common Man, Warren, 8 p.m. NC.

FRIDAY

C IS C G O C C C N C v* ■ s>

» ‘* -

We buy. sell, and re new & used

• Plus we |

to $ 5 cash for

your used

Listen Checko of ou (Even new 1 9 8 C o lle g e S t!

Opening A p r il Ist (No Foolin') page

CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. NC. KAREN KENNEDY & HER BOYS (jazz), Mona’s Jazz Bar, 6:30 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. NC. AUGUSTA BROWN (jam rock), Slade Hall, UVM, 9 p.m. $2. AERIUS (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. SOMAH, VITAMIN C (jam rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $3/5- TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES, MARK CURRY BAND (r&b, soul), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $4. FORTUNE TELLERS (vintage rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER (rock), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. NC. LOST POSSE (bluegrass), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. (SIC) (groove machine), Blarney Stone, 9 p.m. NC. HARD LUCK (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. ABAIRBROS. (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. WALT ELMORE & ALL THAT JAZZ, Tuckaway’s, Sheraton, 9 p.m. NC. MOBILE MUSIC MACHINE (DJ Dance Party), Breakers Club & Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. MIKE TROMBLEY EXPERIENCE (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $2. BL00Z0T0MY (blues), Charlie-o’s, Montpelier, 10 p.m. NC. MICHAEL OAKLAND & ERIC KOELLER (eclectic jazz), Main Street Bar & Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $3. FUNKLEBERRY CRUNCH (rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3. LOIS LANE (rock), Gallagher’s, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. $2. BOB O'SHEA (singer-songwriter), Cuppa’s Coffee House, Stowe, 8 p.m. $2. SETH YACOVONE (blues), The Loft, Jeffersonville, 10 p.m. $3. REBECCA PADULA (singer-songwriter), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m. NC. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Cafe Banditos, Smugglers Notch, Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m. $3. DIAMOND JIM JAZZ BAND, Diamond Jim’s Grille, St. Albans, 8 p.m. NC.

SATURDAY

KRAUS, VAN GULDEN A WARNER (jazz), Mona’s Jazz Bar, 7 p.m. NC. JESUS HUE, EXECUTE, COMMON GROUND. SERERATE SOCIETY (hardcore), 242 Main, 7 p.m. $4. TORTISE & FRIENDS (love-child rocket machine), Java Love, 9 p.m. NC. BROTHERHOOD (blues), Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. FORTUNETELLERS (vintage rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. LITTLE MARTIN (retro DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. RACHEL BISSEX, KAREN SAVOCA & PETE HE1TZMAN (singer-songwriters), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $3, followed by RETRONOME (firnk, disco, ’80s DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. NC. WIDE WAIL, TIZZY, LINDY PEAR (pop/alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 pm. $3/5. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. NC. NIGHT RYDERS (rock), Vermont

S E V E N DAYS

mar ch

26.

1997

Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m . N C . HARD LUCK (rock), Alley C ats, 9 :30 p.m . N C . COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson H otel, 8 & 10 p.m . $7. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Patches Pub, H oliday Inn, 9 p.m . N C . JOE CAPPS TRIO (jazz), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton H otel, 9 p.m . N C . MOBILE MUSIC MACHINE (DJ D ance Party), Breakers C lu b & Cafe, 9 p.m . N C . SHU (ska-groove), R ios, W inooski, 8 p.m . N C . BUBBLE TRIBE (groove rock), Sneakers, 8 p.m . N C . ACOUSTIC MUSIC, G reatful Bread, Essex, n o o n . N C . JOHN LACKARD BLUES BAND, Jam es M oore Tavern, B olton Valley, 9 p.m . N C . MIKE TROMBLEY EXPERIENCE (rock), T h irsty T urtle, W aterbury, 9 p.m . $2. CHIN HO!, BE THAT WAY, ZOLA TURN (m odern rock; benefit for T h e Pyralisk), C ity H all, M ontpelier, 7 :3 0 p.m . $ 8 /6 . DAVE KELLER (blues), M ain Street Bar and Grill D ow nstairs, M ontpelier, 8 p.m . N C . BAD NEIGHBORS (rock-blues), C harlie-o’s, M ontpelier, 9:30 p.m . N C . JALAPENO BROS, (rock) M ad M o u n ta in Tavern, W aitsfield, 9 :3 0 p.m . $3. FULL MOON HEART (acoustic), G allaghers, W aitsfield, 5 p.m . N C . EAST COAST MUSCLE (classic rock), C afe B anditos, Sm ugglers N o tch , Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m . $3.

SUNDAY

ACOUSTIC SUNRISE BRUNCH (open jam ), Java Love, 11 a.m . N C . FLEX RECORD NIGHT (dub D J), C lu b M etro n o m e, 9 p.m . N C . TWILIGHT IDOLS, DAVE JARVIS BAND (alt-rock), C lu b Toast, 10 p.m . $3 /5 . JALAPENO BROS, (rock), N ectar’s, 9:30 p.m . N C . TNT (karaoke & D J), T h irsty T urtle, 8 p.m . N C . PAULLOLAX (acoustic guitar), M ain Street Bar and Grill D ow nstairs, M ontpelier, 11 a.m . N C .

MONDAY

OUT OF

GRATEFUL JAVA JELLY (open grateful/blues jam ), Java Love, 8 p.m . N C . JALAPENO BROS, (rock), N ectars, 9:30 p.m . N C . SUBSONIC (D J EK), C lu b Toast, 10 p.m . N C . (SIC) (groove m achine), Blarney Stone, 9 p.m . N C . WOMEN'S NIGHT (d in ner), Last Elm , 6 p.m . $2. ALLEY CAT JAM (rock-blues), Alley C ats, 9 p.m . N C . MOBILE MUSIC MACHINE (D J; dance

TUESDAY

THE BURLYTOWN BEANERY OPEN MIC KNIGHT (acoustic), Java Love, 7 p.m . N C . FOOLS' PARADISE (D J, followed by various artists and poets), Last Elm , 8 p.m . D o n a tio n . LIVE MUSIC (rock), N ectar’s, 9:30 p.m . N C . FLASHBACK: HITS OF THE'80S (D J), C lu b Toast, 10 p.m . N o cover/$5 u n d er 21. LITTLE MARTIN, CRAIG MITCHELL (D Js), C lu b M etro n o m e, 9:30 p.m . N C . RICK GUEST (rock), Patches Pub, H olid ay Inn, 9 p.m . N C . OPEN MIKE W/MARK GALBO (all genres), Breakers C lu b & Cafe, 8 p.m . N C . T. JARED STACEY ORCHESTRA (jazz), Rio’s, W inooski, 9 p.m . N C . REBECCA PADULA (co n tem p o rary folk), T hree M o u n tain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m . N C .

...H E A D S OF THE C LASS

Hot Homemade Soups Daily lunch and nightly, dinner specials • Kitchen open 11am-10:30pm

lessons), Breakers C lu b &C C afe, 7 p.m . $5.

THE

RUBENJAMES

159MainStreet, Burlington

Bar open to 2am (1pm on Sat.) Pool Table Sun-Wed

864-0744

Live Blues and Jazz Every Saturday Night!

This Saturday: Brotherhood, 9 pm S S

Free Wings 8-11

If you can im agine a sonic

potion of Stevie Nicks, Dolly Parton, Ricki Lee Jones and a little gravel, you’ll have a rough idea w hat Karen Savoca sounds like. Sort of like Little Feat w ith angel w ings. Folksy and bluesy, the M unnsville, N ew York-based singer-songw riter duos w ith guitarist-bassist Pete Heitzman — their CD, On the River Road, w on Best Songwriter, Best Rock Vocalist and Best Folk-Rock Group at last year's Syracuse Area Music (SAM M Y) A w ards. Burlington's ow n sw e e t voiced Rachel Bissex, w ho m et fello w show casers Savoca and Heitzman at the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival last year, headlines this Saturday at M etronome.

A ll clubs in B u rlin g to n unless otherw ise noted. NC= No Cover.Also look fo r “Sound Advice” at http://www.bigheavyworld.com/seven.days/ #

review s By: P a m e l a Pol&ton VARI OUS

;

Tr :• ■ *:• -K." / i-i/v >//:

v . (AK ■i. ...

v':;v. "? T'-' j;;.' ' ... ; X. V.VAAAAA; A .7 - ■

ARTISTS,

STORM OF THE CENTURY

(Sudden Shame) — This generous indie compi lation by Sudden Sham es Colin Clary is more a bunch o f squalls, really; the 17 local and region al bands are unpretentiously sm all-production, with partly-cloudy shoegazers galore. But sun shine appears throughout this disc in the form o f a rather earnest joy, as if these (mostly) guys just love m aking noise. After an inauspicious lo-fi ditty from the intriguingly nam ed Jou }qu de H oop, Chisel jumps in with a catchy, th ro m p in , hol lerin’ rock ruckus called “Chiefs,” fol-

;

•

C o n tin u e d o

surging “P o ste rs/ A quirkily repackaged Madelines’ ensues, w ith a remix o f “D raped in V ( R 2 ) / D rum track, spaceage-gizmo sounds and faraway vocals com bine in a cut th at wouldn’t be o u t o f place on the dance floor. Its back to rock ’n’ roll w ith huffy’s “Tinfoil” — its boom y bottom is balanced appealing^ plaintive vocal Lauben, who always soon about tocryLT hough

mar ch

26,

1997

S E V E N DAY S

page

REVIEWS

;

C o n tin u ed fro m page 9 this departm ent are C atapult, Piston H onda and the wooferthreatening M y O w n Sweet. Meanwhile Ely Parker and the CIAs and The Smiles (more sunshine), despite — or perhaps because o f — bad basement recordings, are ail raw energy and enthusiasm, like rock ’n roll should be. T he real Madelines stand up again with “So Far,” in which a churning wall-osound does battle with dreamy bridges and an air o f dejection. Saps “Pretty Boy” is funniest, w ith clapping, satirical back-up vocals and a lead singer with the voice o f a young Jerry Lewis. Jou Jou de H oops repetitive, Kochalka-esque finale is the title track, and unfortunately it’s as far from meteorologic suprema cy as a drop in the bucket. I’ll take the sun, thank you.

ELISABETH

S A T U R D A Y , M A R C H 2 9 I N / I O I S I T R E L I E R C S 8 A D U L T S / $ 6 A B E N E F IT F O R T M E P Y R A L IS K

T H 8 - 1 2 RIV 1 T Y M A L L S T U D E N T S R E B U IL D IN G F U N D

______ SEVEN DAYS_____________ t i ; H i . e « u ^

H r i.i

'50's VINTAGE EYEWEAR TOO!

T e ll

’e m

y o u

s a w

Alternative

A W *'

Let The Transformation Begin

S E V E N D A Y S

-P* m e 168 Battery St. • 8 0 2 -6 5 1 * 0 8 8 0 • Burlington • VT

F ilms nominated for the F irst Annual Bessie Awards !

A p r i l 4 , 5, & 6 at C o n t o i s Auditorium, C i ty H a l l

Starting at 7:00 pm

Starting at 3:00 pm

Starting at 11:00 am

“Diamond Run”

“Brother Bread, Sister Puppet”

“One Day in the Life of Vermont”

(feature)

“Maximum Security”

(documentary)

(short)

“Vermont Memories”

“Where the Rivers Flow North”

“Manifest Destiny”

(feature)

“Home to Tibef

(short)

(documentaries with different “flavors")

(feature)

“Let’s Go to the Farm”

“Delivered Vacant” (feature)

“Testament of the Rabbit”

Starting at 11:00 am

“Time Chasers”

“Computer Animation Reel”

(short) Starting at 7:00 pm

“Legends in Light”

(documentary/children)

(documentary)

“Refuge in Williston”

“The Apartment”

Starting at 3:00 pm (short)

“Journey Into Courage”

‘The Rhombus Reel”

“Man With A Plan”

(shorts and animation)

page

“Etude” & Robot Rerun” (animation)

“Knucklehead’s Electric Safety”

(documentary)

“Peace Train to Beijing” (documentary)

(feature)

“A Warm Day After a Long Winter”

Come see the work of two dozen Vermont filmmakers in one movie marathon week end! All screenings are free. All of these works have been nominated for the 1997 BESSIE Awards to be presented April 30, 1997 at the Sheraton’s Emerald Ballroom.

(animation)

“Leaving the Harbor” (feature)

S E V E N DAYS

VON T R A P P ,

: R E A R T. ONE MIND c d >h will never be possible, at least in this lifetime, to hear the name von Trapp without thinking The Sound o f Music. C M it a curse or a blessing, this legacy follows the granddaughter o f Maria right through hfesecond recording, One Heart, One Mind. And if for no other reason its because Elisabeth von Trapp — I have to say it -— sounds like Julie Andrews. B ut she could do worse than possess this crystalline, ladylike, soaring soprano. In her first studio effort — recorded at Charles Eller Studios — von Trapp reveals her penchant for beautiful melancholy. She’s written the music for all but one o f these 11 tunes — the < exception being “Waterloo Sunset^ penned by ex-Kinks Ray Davies. M ost o f the lyrics are hers, too, b u t she borrows from Robert Frost and 19th-century licurgist John Newman to evoke" visions from Earth and heaven, respectively Hawaiian . legend and Robert Louis Stevenson figure into the epic ; . “Kaiulani.” Von Trapp exercises her talents as a pianist and acoustic guitarist here, too, and though the arrangements are spare, she’s chosen her accompanists well: Eller on piano and harmonium , Tony Markellis on bass, Erich Kory on cello, Michael Chorney o n soprano sax and Paul Asbell on . guitar. Co-engi neer Lane Gibson also contributes keyboards. ||§f |1j Percussionist ; Stuart Paton h a s : his smallest role ever on the trian gle in the celestial instrumental :/ “Twin Angels.” Most o f these songs are majestic, haunting and slow-paced, like a civilized cabaret in which only serious, bittersweet music is allowed. W hile this fare will timeless, elegant and often magnificent. Especially in the cathedrai-esque title track, von Trapp s voice is a sanctuary. □

RHYTHM & NEWS C o n tin u e d fr o m p a g e 8

ing Big Heavy World’s live-musicon-the-Intemet “ToastTV” closer to reality.

BALKAN BACKERS As reported on these pages a few weeks back, the nine middle- and high-school girls called The Newark Balkan Chorus appeared on “Prairie Home Companion” March 15. They came in third but, says cho rus director Evanne Weirich, “the people who ran the show made it clear to us that we were their favorite.” The audience, however, gave a Celtic band from Utah the blue ribbon; second place was held by a traditional three-piece from Nova Scotia. But the conso lation for our girls has come sub sequent to their thrilling appear ance onstage — and in the ears of thousands of listeners nationwide. “We’ve gotten tons of letters from all over the country saying they wished we’d won,” Weirich

reports. “One guy sent us $50, and another woman offered to give us money.” What will they do with the loot? Record, of course. And meanwhile, requests are coming from near and far for the girls to perform — including a folk festival in Missouri and the Burlington Rotary Club. Needless to say, the citizenry of Newark is justifiably proud, and girls still too young to Balkan-ize can’t wait to join. “People have just really made a big fuss,” says Weirich. “In our town yesterday we had a concert to say thank you, and March 23rd was declared Newark Balkan Chorus Appreciation Day.” Last week, judges at the Lyndon Institute overruled “Prairie Home Companion” and gave the NBC first place in a local talent show. “It’s just the coolest thing for these kids,” Weirich enthuses. “They’re extremely good.” □

mar ch

26.

1997

COUNTING SHEEP Getting Vermont lamb to market is easier said than done Bv

M ollv

Stevens %

"Though there has always been an abundance o f lamb in this country, it has long been the most neglected and most poorly prepared o f all meats. In recent years people have at last begun to realize how delicious it can be when properly cooked, and it is ironical that we are now faced with a diminishing supply ” — James Beard American Cookery, 1972

hen my city friends come to visit me in Vermont, they love to spend one day driving around ogling the wooded landscape. As they turn moist-eyed and sentimental about untouched lands and pristine wilderness, I can’t help but shatter their reveries with, “Did you know that in the mid-1800s all these hills were completely deforested? There were 1.6 million sheep in Vermont, and this was all pas ture.” W ith a sweeping gesture I explain that the woodland view they’re waxing nostalgic about is relatively recent. In fact, sheep farming was so im portant to Vermont that, in 1842, Governor Charles Paine declared wool to be Vermont’s primary agricultural product. If things had continued in this manner, W oody Jackson’s black-

march 26,» - 1997 ^ 1 < 0 2 J A

and-white Holsteins m ight be Mary’s little lambs instead. But things did not continue: Wool prices dropped, tariff laws changed, and, as was the case with much o f Vermont’s agricultural past, sheep-farming became unprof itable. So the trees grew back. I must confess that my per sonal interest in these flocks o f yore has little to do with a love o f history, but stems instead from a voracious appetite for the taste o f lamb. There’s a clear difference between sheep bred for wool and those raised as lamb for market, but if Vermont was successful at pro ducing wool, couldn’t lamb flocks flourish here as well? Napa’s got wine, Michigan’s got cherries, Alaska’s got salmon, M aryland’s got crabs, and we’ve got lamb. But when I call my favorite meat depart ment to inquire about Vermont lamb, all I’m offered is lamb from Colorado or New Zealand. There are still a few farms producing lamb for appetites like mine, but there’s much to be done before these sheep farms might once again populate our hillsides. “There has been a quiet resurgence o f the lamb industry since the 1970s,” says Ruth Shepherd, an aptly named organic lamb producer at

Meetinghouse Farm in Lincoln. The Agriculture Departm ent now counts close to 20,000 sheep and lambs in Vermont, up from 6700 in 1970. But “commercial sheep producer” might be someone raising a few specialty sheep for wool, a large flock o f market lambs, or dairy sheep whose milk goes into specialty cheese. Aside from a handful of large-scale sheep farms, the rest are small operations raising and marketing their own sheep any way they can. As a result, Vermont’s sheep industry is fairly fragmented and lacking in distribution opportunities. None of the previous attempts to organize the state’s lamb industry have endured. Today lamb producers are essentially on their own, faced with the difficulty o f acquiring good stock, managing produc tion, finding reliable and con sistent slaughter facilities and, perhaps most importantly, get ting the lamb to market. “It’s somewhat a labor o f love,” says Shepherd as she describes her local distribution to area food co-ops, restaurants, and a few tourists on their way back to the city. It’s a catch-as-catch-can situation. C ontinued on page 12

S E V E N DA Y S

. ** v *: j ' t: j

Ken Pohlman o f Meetinghouse Farm.

Napa's got wine, Michigan's got cherries, Alaska's got salmon, M aryland's got crabs, and we've got lam b. B u t when I call my favorite m eat departm ent to inquire about Vermont lamb, all I'm offered is lamb from Colorado or New Zealand.

page

ContiMum from page 11 “Right How is a very tough time for Verm ont lam b produc ers^ confirms ^ ^ M ^ y s c o ll^ S l Hirsell Farms in C orinth. After 20 fylfots o f sheep-forming, J | f Driscoll is in the m idst o f a massive restructuring, including

w ith an open pathway to the marketplace. The largest dem and for lam b is right in our backyard. Chefs and diners in the whitetablecloth restaurants o f Boston, New York and Montreal consider Vermont H lamb an appealing specialty product and ask for it by name. x h e latg eT h n ic m arked o f the Northeast traditionany havc a

lamb is in the spring - roast lamb is a traditional centerpiece o f Easter dinner. But lambs are typically born in the spring and are best marketed September through February. Producers can try to alter the ewe’s natur al cycle to birth at other times o f the year, but spring-born lambs — raised and fattened on Vermont’s natural, nutrientrich summer grasses — are the

basis. “There are changes afoot,” explains Jim McRae, president o f the Vermont Sheep Breeders Association. “I am optimistifo In my heart I think [sheep farming] is one o f the most im portant factors in Vermont’s future.” And not just because o f on appetite for lamb? Sheep are also good for tourism, keeping

a sale o f com pany stock to raise capital and expand his m atketmg operation. T h e burden o f capital o n the small pro ducer i$T|®:^oo great,” h e Today lamb producers are essentially on their own faced w ith the says. “For years and years, no ohetmade anym oneyf im ang _'l,%\ sheep, and you need money to support an operation.” ,0 s difficulty o f acquiring good stock, managing production, fin d in g But there’s evidence things are changing. ' (For starters, there’s a ^ nificant dem and for :r reliable a n d consistent slaughter facilities and, perhaps most Vermont lamb — many chefs and retailers agree that it can be the best in the country. O u t West, mega importantly, getting the lam b to m arket farms raise countless sheep and feed them a good deal o f grain; the resulting m eat is pastures open and preserving finest the state has to offer. tremendous dem and for lamb much fattier and less tasty. O ne the states appealing agrarian The Verm ont Fresh as well. Vermonters, too, would local chef recently found a character. McRae notes changes Network, a collaborative effort like to find lamb raised in our Colorado leg o f lamb to have in the Western and Midwestern between Vermont producers Green M ountains. These marfour times more fat than one sheep forming industry, includ and restaurant chefs, is plan kets remain largely unserved from Vermont — m eaning far ing loss o f pasture land, closing ning a promotional effort dur because o f poor marketing less meat. This im portant dis processing plants and loss o f ing foliage this year to flaunt coordination and lack o f infra tinction suggests that the suc government assistance. “All our superior lamb to tourists. structure. cess o f the Verm ont’s lamb these factors com bine,” he says, The Network is also endeavor A nother obstacle for industry is not bigger farms, “to make it more financially ing get Vermont lamb on more Vermont producers is the fact bu t stronger small producers viable for Vermont producers restaurant menus on a regular that the greatest dem and for

to com pete In the national • market.” T he latest, and grandest, gesture to boost Vermont’s lamb industry comes in the form o f the Vermont Livestock Project at Vermont Technical College in Randolph, which is focused on the state s non-dairy livestock industry — sheep, goats and beef. T he project includes improved genetics and (ijp a n a g e m e n t training, b u t the biggest buzz is about the development o f a marketing infrastructure — a way to provide small producers with distribution and large mar kets with a consistent supply. “We’re going to use this project to get the industry , reorganized,” says Roger Clapp, deputy commissioner o f Vermont Agriculture, “and it’s going to take some . doing.” Perhaps so, b u t w ith $600,000 in funding and another $60,000 for an Enterprise Study to examine the relative profitability o f mar kets, the industry seems to be far less sheepish than in the past. T he next time my city friends come to visit, maybe they’ll be able to fill their cool er with Vermont lamb chops, right next to the maple syrup and cheddar cheese. □ *& ,

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S E V E N DAYS

mar ch

1997

Ruth

Horowitz

ue Ryan was living in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, when she left the office one day and walked into every working parent’s nightmare. Arriving at the home daycare where she’d left her six-m onth-old son, Ryan found her child’s care provider drinking a beer in the front yard while her baby lay inside, wrapped in a blanket and covered with vomit. “I’d interviewed the woman and spent time in her hom e,” Ryan recalls. “I ’d thought I was a pretty good judge o f character. Ryan took her son hom e and never brought him back. W ith her family far away in Vermont and no place to leave

fare recipients. Like most in her field, Ryan puts in ninehour days, unassisted. The pay is low — hom e daycare providers average $3.80 an hour — the work is dem and ing, and the blur between busi ness and hom e puts a strain on family life. W hen Ryan’s son Pat turned 11, he began to resent sharing his home w ith a bunch o f other children. Ryan has often found her self contem plating other career options. “But I always come back to the kids,” she laughs. She stays in the business because she likes being her own boss and doesn’t feel she can afford the risk o f starting a new venture. She also expresses a sense o f loyalty towards the families she serves. And, watch

day,” Ryan speculates. “They feel better if they’re at least leaving their kids in a hom e.” “A center felt more like sending a kid to a factory,” says O ld N orth End parent Jennifer Wallace-Brodeur, who entrusts two-year-old Max to Nancy Powers, a friend and former neighbor who now runs a home daycare in the more affluent New N orth End, which is also part o f the network. Powers, who has two sons and a husband employed in the legal departm ent at IBM, was drawn to her vocation through interest in the creative arts. A snow dragon drizzled with green food coloring stands guard outside her home. Inside, the children have the run o f the spacious house,

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march

26,

1997

Nancy Powers keeps the peace in her New North End home.

ing her scoop up one crying toddler and fret over another’s mis-sized sneaker, it’s easy to see how deeply Ryan cares about the children, some o f whom she has nurtured since infancy. In C hittenden County, about 3000 children depend on some form o f daycare. About half attend childcare centers, while the rest receive care in private homes. Centers tend to have more highly trained per sonnel than private homes, as well as more checks and bal ances. T he child-to-adult ratio is generally lower in centers, and the facilities themselves are more accommodating. Never theless, many parents choose hom e daycare for a variety o f reasons. W ith hom e daycares costing about 20 percent less than cen ters, m oney is certainly a sig nificant factor. But it’s not the only one. “Lots o f parents feel guilty about going to work all

where separate rooms are dedi cated to messy, hands-on activi ties like painting and planting seeds. W hen the group migrates to the living room, where Little Richard is getting down with the “Hokey Pokey” on the C D player, Powers pass es around a basket o f musical instruments. All the children in Powers’ care live with both their par ents, and none receives govern m ent subsidies. Powers is able to charge a rate 32 percent higher than the subsidy Ryan receives for the low-income families she serves. But calcu late in the cost o f food, materi als and other expenses, and even home-care providers like Powers earn appallingly little, considering the often exhaust ing and always critical work they perform. It’s no wonder the annual turnover rate for Vermont’s home daycare providers is 44 percent, a figure C ontinued on page 1 6

SEVEN DAYS

I I I I I I I

day • 115 c o lle g e s tr e e t, b u r l in ^ t o n , v t • 6 5 8 -4 0 5 0

observes. “It describes not so m uch the thing itself as our reaction to it. If I say that someone is dying, I’m reallySigns o f Life. In the world o f

7 f lA ? e r n io n f & o o k S h o p

Chris Bohjalian's Book Signing

MIDWIVES

despair or urgency, and to do so disguises the fact that the person is indisputably still

does. Despite what everyone tells you, people aren’t in a position to “take charge” o f their “T h e i d e a o f a diseases, and they do not die the ‘b e a u t i f u l d e a t h ' way they want to — not ever, in myl experience, even if] s p r in g s in p a r t they’re among the lucky ones who’ve fro m a n “arranged” every thing beforehand, even if they’ve A m e r ic a n n o t io n gone through all five o f Elisabeth t h a t t h in g s m u s t Kiibler-Ross’ slo ganized “stages o f dying.” Even if, as| h a p p e n to u s n o t Brookes remarks in reference to the] s im p ly b e c a u s e hospice move ment, “everyone deserves to die th e y a re n e c e s with dignity, in as j little pain as pos s a ry but b ecau se sible, unafraid, at peace, and am ong

t h e y a r e c h o s e n ."

Saturday, Hay24th

T he fact is it almost never hap pens that way: For the vast majority o f people around the world, it really doesn’t happen that way. I should think that the cur rent crunchy approach to m ortality in the United States m ight come as a considerable affront to a family in the slums o f Calcutta. Signs o f Life started out as a planned explo ration o f the hospice move m ent but quickly evolved into something else, something much deeper, when Brookes’ m other was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away before his eyes. I say “passed away” rather than “died,” because, as Brookes discovered, death and dying are not the same thing. “'D ying’ is not so much a condition as a dram a,” he

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on the status o f death in our cul ture a culture that seri ously imagines it ought to be excused from the process, and that some how, someday, it will turn death aside. “The idea o f a ‘beauti ful death’ springs in part from an American notion that things must happen to us not simply because they are necessary but because they are chosen,” Brookes explains, “and because they are good. We want everything to be a positive experience, and we tell ourselves over and over again that the secret to a positive experience is choice.” We are, in a word, deluded. O u r denial o f natures truest truth can make the experience that much harder to bear when the time comes: “The inevitable leaves us with nobody to blame, and

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S E V E N DAYS

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WOMB WITH A VIEW Continued from page 7

cooperating on all fronts. “W hen things go wrong in obstetrics, they go wrong last,” Connie comments. T he first part o f C harlottes labor is taking too long. She’s pushing too hard. By the time her sheets are soaked with blood, sheets o f black ice are blocking the roads. The phone lines go dead. “At 10 m inutes past six, in the early minutes o f her fourth hour o f pushing, Charlotte Fugett Bedford suffered what my m other was convinced was a ruptured cerebral aneurysm — or what she would refer to in her own mind as a stroke,” Connie narrates. Sibyl performs several cycles o f CPR to no avail. Her attention turns to the baby and demands that the despondent father get her the largest, sharpest knife he can find. “She performed the emergency caesarean because she couldn’t bear to see two people die. She just couldn’t bear it,” C onnie explains. “And Charlotte was dead w ithout question.” O r was she? Both Asa and Anne would come to question Sibyl’s actions that night. They saw “blood spurt momentarily **MKiO‘4h Charlotte was still alive when Sibyl opened up her womb. T he defense, a slick lawyer from Burlington, argues that Sibyl caught life from the hands o f death. But the state’s attorney from Orleans C ounty disagrees. Bill Tanner is as much interested in “persecut ing as prosecuting.” The townspeople — long suspi cious o f midwifery and Sibyl’s hippie lifestyle — and Tanner turn the proceedings into a witch hunt. T he heart-wrenching scene is replayed in the courtroom:

what Anne and Asa saw or didn’t see on that night in March, and what Sibyl did or didn’t do in the bedroom that night. And the events play out in Connie’s head: what she hears in the days following and then, o f course, what she reads in her m other’s journal.

Being a midwife is a Catch22, and Bohjalian gives both arguments with the removed clarity o f Dead M an Walking. (O f note, Columbia-TriStar Pictures already has acquired the rights to the book.) He contween thevpolitics and the personal, midwives and medicine, men and women, insiders and outsiders. The race toward a resolution is compelling and each side’s journey is convincing. Midwives has all the ingre dients o f a best-seller: paced like John Grisham’s suspenseful page-turners; told like Mary Karr’s much-lauded Liar’s Club, a painful and humorous m em oir o f bizarre youth; and reminiscent o f Ruth H am ilton’s critically acclaimed A M ap o f the World, in which a town turns against its interlop

ers after an accidental death. But Midtoives is slightly self-conscious and occasionally self-congratulatory. Sibyl is so earnest about her “calling” that its annoying. Despite the hor ror o f Charlotte’s death and the promise o f a plea-bargain, she refuses to retire. H er jour nal entries are one-dim en sional and dripping with new-age sentiment: “The books say concep tion occurs when a sperm penetrates a female egg, and they all use that word — penetration”... “It’s as if life begins as a battle” ... “I just don’t get it”... “W hat’s wrong with meet, or merge, or just groove together.” Bohjalian, who clearly researched midwifery to the nth degree, can’t resist show ing off his new-found understanding o f the female anatom y and psyche. W hat missing, however, is the sub tlety: “The only condition that really bothers me — no, it doesn’t bother me, it pisses me off and scares the hell out o f me at the same time — is the midwifery one. I’m not allowed to practice my craft until this trial is over. T hat’s the one that hurts. I’m not allowed to birth any babies, I’m not allowed to tend to any mothers.” The references to newspa pers are shameless promotions disguised as detailed narrative. “ The Burlington Free Press, the state’s largest daily paper, was the first, but the reporter who called only beat the Montpelier Sentinel and the CaledonianRecord by m inutes,” Bohjalian writes. The Rutland Herald is conspicuously absent. C onnie’s story, however, is acutely present. From her first kiss to her decision to become an OB-GYN, she catches life while she can.O

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*13

criminal activity, teenage pregnancy, unem ploym ent and reliance on public assistance.

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that many in the states nonprofit and policy-making comm unities are anxious to reduce.

“Amore families to work,” says Vermont Childrens Forum Director Laurie Burris, “there need to be more quality pro grams and better incentives to keep childcare providers in business.” Julie CaciwalladerStaub, executive director o f the Child Care Fund o f Vermont, touts studies showing that good preschool programs improve academic performance and reduce the incidence o f

until that under lying problem is addressed, she adds, “at least we can chip away at smaller

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At regular meetings me women can vent frustration; and share

substitute will give providers something virtually u nhead of care com m unity: °n e half-day off each week. Ryan

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Sue Ryan, home daycare provider ™thcr' wh“ ^

contribute to the high turnover rate. ” Private and public agencies at nearly every level offer a variety o f services to help home daycares m aintain high-quality programs. Burlington’s Fletcher

. - -

tions o f toys for loan. But perhaps the most effective way to help home daycares stay in business is to com bat the providers’ perennial isolation. Enter the O ld N orth End

successes. Shared indoor space allows them to bring their kids together for rowdy play and special programs. Formal workshops and informal m entoring help them develop their busi-

she can use her gift o f free time to take a relaxing bike ride, Until then, she muses, “Just going to the grocery store by myself will be pretty cool.” □

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S E V E N DAYS

T H E UN I VE RS I T Y OF

VERM ONT mar ch

26,

1997

SEVEN DAYS readers are: 90.5% have been to college, Active: 65% regularly engage in outdoor activities, Literary: 85% list “reading” as a hobby. Restaurant-goers: 74% eat out a t least several times a month. Travelers: 91.5% say they will drive an hour or sofo r arts, dining or shopping. Selective: 56.5% do n o t read the daily B urlington Free Press. '* *'

Brainy:

next few W**^

Our contest winner is Pamela Beforts ofVergennes, a 40-year-old single mom who reads Seven Days every week. 7 like reading about real people in the community, ”she says. The paper “provides an alternative point o f view." When she is not working at Gardeners Supply, Begins enjoys listening to rock ’r i roll. She plans to buy a CD player with double cassette with her $500 gift certificate to Creative Sound. PHOTO:

I- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

MATTHEW

THORSEN

I This is not a coupon. But thanks for reading

SEVEN DAYS

i _______________________________________________________

Announcing:

B u rlin g to n C o lle g e Say you saw it in

K *P

L i v e Mus i c s e ve n d a y s a week. N e v e r a c ove r

SEVEN DAYS

CENTER

'PARSONS

DANCE CO M PA NY

O p en H o u s e / L e c tu re S e r ie s Join us for a pre-presentation reception, at 7 pm for coffee and dessert - find out more about the College and its programs - meet Admissions, Financial Aid counselors, current students and alumni!

TUESDAY, APRIL 1, 1997

featuring

TO M VERN ER

Friday

M A R C H 25

Wed & Thur Mar. 26&27

Saturday r-v ^

march / y

A ye

“Sexy,

8 pm • The Moore Theater Spotlight discussion, 7 pm, Faculty Lounge

exuberant and J \

successful.

Fri & Sat Mar. 28&29

Underwritten by

Ledyard N ational Bank

Presentation by long-time Transpersonal Psychology faculty member, Tom Verner, entitled "The Fool as Teacher". This slide/ lecture "perform ance" will w eave psychological and anthropological perspectives using Native Am erican, Zen Buddhist and Sufi poems and stories with slight of hand illusions.

The New York Times

THURSDAY, APRIL 22, 1997

Cosponsored by

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WRITING & UTERATURE readings from original works

N A A KA H ID I THEATER AND COYOTE GATHERS HIS PEO PLE

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FIRST NATIONS:

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Spotlight discussion with company members immediately following each performance. Supported in port by Dartmouth's Bildnef Endowment for Human and Intefgroup Relations

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SEVEN DAYS

march

26,

1997

SOMETHING'S ROTTEN IN MONTPELIER

...a n d it isn’t the politics

Robert

Kiener

best.” Stench is what the 22nd Annual Odoreaters International Rotten Sneaker Contest, held in Montpelier last week, is all about. T he event drew scores o f local children,

ists from across the United States who will go toe-to-toe with the local winner for the right to claim the title as the owner o f the world’s smelliest sneakers. The champ gets a $500 savings bond, a lifetime

can smell the kid’s shoes from maybe 20 feet away. They are awful. Imagine something between spoiled raw chicken and three-day-old roadkill. And add a dash o f Limburger J‘ eez, you stink, ” I tell him, holding my nose. cheese. No, make that a A n ear-to-ear smile lights up his face “Yeah, big chunk o f Limburger — thanks! I try my best. ” with mold. The closer I”! this 14-year-old walking supply o f Odoreaters and, most garbage dump comes to me, the between six and 17, all eager to convince a panel o f “disimportantly, his or her sneakers more I wonder how I’ll be able tinkuished” judges — including enshrined for eternity in the to stomach interviewing him. Miss Flower, a skunk — that Odoreaters Hall o f Fumes. The "Jeez, you stink,” I tell him, their sneakers smelled fouler latter is especially welcome holding my nose. than the next guy’ s, or girl’ s. news to the winner’s parents, An ear-to-ear smile lights up Also on hand are five final who will never again have to his face. "Yeah, thanks! I try my

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“You smell like you have two dead animals strapped to your feet!” I tell him .This makes him even happier. “Wow! Yeah, thanks. I think I’ve got a good chance,” he replies. The contest was born 22 years ago when a M ontpelier

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endure the sight — or smell — o f the putrid things. The walking garbage dum p’s shoes are literally hang ing off his feet. His soles flap with every step he takes; the rest o f the things are in tatters. If sneakers could survive a nuclear blast, this is what they’d look like. Foolishly doing my journal istic duty, I stop holding my nose. The stench is unbeliev able.

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Compassion and You: A Buddhist Path of Well-Being HUMA335E Leadership Through Literature Mathematics MATH030E Fundamentals of Math MATH050EA Math Workshop MATH 114E College Algebra

1^97

To judge today’s contest, Cum mings excused herself from C o n tin u e d on page 2 4

Weekend Courses (May-August, every other weekend)

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ACCT330W Computer Applications in Accounting: Advanced Topic UHR31OW Instructional Techniques ENGL308W Contemporary American Literature SOWK300W Social Systems & Social Assessment BUHR or SOSC 306W Influencing Human Interaction BUS1210W Marketing RLST115W Contemporary Moral Issues SOCI260W Sociology of the Family ARTS203W Drawing BUSI135W Personal Computing Tools BUSI316W Advertising MATH117W Basic Statistics PSYC265W Adolescence SOCI102W Contemporary Social Problems BUSI303W Decision-Making Methods BUSI or RLST 320W Business Ethics , SOSC150W Writing in the Social Sciences SOCI225W Special Topic: Murder 1: Our Killing Culture

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sporting goods dealer and the city’s recreation director got together — reportedly over a few beers — and decided the city could use a laugh. Com be Incorporated, makers o f Odoreaters, began sponsoring the event in 1988. It was an instant hit and has become an annual rite o f spring in Central Vermont. “This is m ud season and there isn’t an awful lot to do,” notes State Senator Anne Cum mings, who’s making her fourth dutiful appearance as a judge. “And we like to think that, as Vermonters, something wacky like this is right up our alley.”

SEYEN DAYS

Colchester Avenue, Burlington, VT 05401 mm—m

p a g e -* 2 3

dal may have surfaced. O ne o f

F L O W E R S f a nil xasctn

^ k o M IS E OF R

S' need? Says M ontpelier Police C hief Doug Hoyt, who is judging for his second year, “A keen eye for detail... and a strong stomach.” I detect a wry smile playing across the face o f the walking garbage dum p after his shoes have been judged. From 20 feet away — no flies on this reporter — I shout, “So, how do you think you did?” “Good!,” he shouts back. “The skunk seemed to like

enew al

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T e ll’em

SEVEN DAYS sent

you.

Invite us to the wedding. M ake sure there’s free beer.

oes

smelled so bad th a t m y mother made me keep them in the garage in a plas tic bag." Her

me.

Check out the personals on page 33.

like curry. Both no-no’s si— shoes cannot be artificial!; *>

The judges don rubber gloves — some surgical, some the dish-washing variety — and poke, prod and sniff the entrants’ shoes as they pass before them. For a m om ent I think it resembles a Beauty Pageant From Hell. T hen, a m om ent later, I realize the fumes m ust be getting to me. I move to the back o f the audi torium , near an open window, and await the results. The white-coated judges confer. It seems a hint o f scan-

advice to fu tu re entrants: “Walk in lots o f dog poop" entrants. Chris Clark, 17, a junior from Vergennes High School scoops first prize in the local

there’s always next year.” Sasha tells a gaggle o f reporters that she’s been preparing for this mom ent for six years: “My shoes smelled so bad that my m other made me keep them in the garage in a plastic bag.” Her advice to future entrants: “Walk in lots o f dog poop.” Sasha’s winning pair, held aloft for the world s press to admire, are not only dilapidated and stinky but they boast a winning green mold. A fitting champion. T he walking garbage dum p, Barres Brian Paton, 14, also seems to have taken his defeat well. “W ill you come back next year?” I ask him. “O f course.” Paton walks away with his head held high. I too leave the auditorium , reflecting on all I have seen, and smelled, here today — the thrill o f victory and the agony o f the feet. □

SEV EN D A YS

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M ille r 's L a n d m a r k C h u r c h S t r e e t M a r k e t p la c e

4 H e le n a D r iv e T a ft C o r n e r s W illis t o n

8 0 2 .2 5 3 .7 3 7 8

8 0 2 .8 6 5 .4 7 6 6

8 0 2 .8 7 8 .6 4 1 3

page

S E V E N DAYS

mar ch

26,

1997

CREATION THEORY A

m u lti-m e d ia

a n d

c e le b r a te s ,

Pamela

LI FE & DEATH Continued from page 14

p e r fo r m a n c e

th e

p r o c Animas refers to

stage yet.

Polston

a further, con

Some o f the

scious understanding, to

uch has been written on

performers have never

that thing called creativi

met. This weekend they’ll all

relationships forming between

ty. A room m ate o f intu

convene for the first time, just

things which are understood.

ition and a close friend o f

two days before their perfor

Memory comes next, sparking

magic, it happens in the

mance. Mills, who was the man

reactions and references from

m om ent when two or more

behind the provocative

one’s own experiences, then

stimuli collide and turn into

“Picasso/Not Picasso” show two

Vision, in which one “goes for

something greater than the sum

years ago at the Fleming

it,” responding to the above.

of their parts. If that sounds

M useum and a co-founder o f

And finally, Passion — “the end

like an unscientific definition

Resonance Arts and Film, has

and a kind o f a circle, too,”

of fertilization, the parallel is

called upon 14 diversely talent

says Mills.

an apt one — creativity usually

ed artists in theater, dance,

leads to the birth o f a new

music, film, puppetry and

will comprise six “acts” in the

something or other.

lighting to respond individually

production and have been pret

and together to his theme of

ty much the only guideposts

creativity. To focus the request

for the performers — working

But if anyone has a com plete grasp on the subject,

The six segments in turn

they’ve been holding out on us. All def initions aside, the process o f creativity eludes lan guage. Hence the challenge of trying to preview a per formance

cally in touch with their feel ings, snuffed o u t in a weelc Its one o f the greatest

instead it all comes down to how we cope w ith it. I t g S } '/, i throws us on our own had lit bring your illness on yourself, resources, which have and that you’re somehow to tie opportunity to develop blame for it if you don’t get to sm well. I myself was supposed to O n the other h a n d —-rand be dead from AIDS a long when yoti’re faicmg death time ago, and look at me there is always a second opin now, dashing off book reviews ion, some little hope despite in the full flush o f middle age. the odds — denial is nothing You just don’t know. You to be ashamed of. never can tell. Its not only n o t a river in Thankfully, Tim Brookes Egypt, it’s not something to isn’t among that awful gallery be trivialized by talk-show o f “death experts” and grief psychiatrists and self-help mavens who’ve built such a clones who don’t know how lucrative industry on the im portant it is. As someone backs o f the terminally ill. He who has seen a lot more dying doesn’t add to the burden o f that he ever expected at the the dying by presuming to tell age o f 43, and who has con them how they ought to go fronted his own death (immiabout it. I’m not sure I agree .nentiy) more than once, I can w ith him when he says that tell you for a fret that there is the healthy are no different no such thing as a “right” way from the term inal “though we to die, or a wrong way either: lack a diagnosis.” But it’s a N o t only that, but you don’t small quibble over an excel “choose” your death — not lent book. Brookes is a fine unless you’ve called Dr. and elegant writer whose Kevorkian. M ortal illness is experiences with death have not a reflection of your charac left him where death leaves ter. everybody sooner or later — I’ve seen men and women in awe, resignation, w ith a who were angels in life depart more or less comfortable, this world kicking and more or less willing accep screaming, and I ’ve seen odi tance o f things as they are. □ ous people with horrible poli tics go out like Little Nell. I’ve seen very sick people live to tell the tale and whole-

w h ic lv in te n c i^ ^

to illustrate that very process, and ^

which in fact

' ‘Erro/ogy *Magic • Pagan & Wicca • Zen Buddhism • Yoga • Psychology • Herbalism • Wellness • Gender Studies, etc.

is no where near comple

INCENSE M AS SAC E OILS CANDLES CRYSTALS JEW ELRY

tion even as you read these words. Even

B (1 ) i n d i n g

(e)Motion,

a mult1-medi a produc

the actual per formances of B(l)inding

tion

directed

Mills.

(e)M otion” next week at

Ken

On-Stage

Series,

Flynn

the Flynn will

Burlington,

not have the

April

Theatre.

Mar ch

7:30

31-

p.m.

a little —

in isolation or in pairs — thus

and to pro

far. Some, like actors Wendi

vide the

Stein and Will Giblin, or video

project’s

bits by John Douglas, play a

scaffolding

role in nearly all the segments;

— he con

others may appear just once.

ceptualized

“Ideally he wants us all to

six stages o f

stretch as artists within the

relatively

creativity.

structure,” says Stein. “It’s a

structured,

“Each

work-in-progress, in many ways

immutable feel of, say, Hamlet,

d e sc rie s a step in the evolu

an experiment, but not haphaz

because parts o f it will be

tion o f creativity,” explains

ard. It’s improvisational in that

improvised. Creativity is both

Mills, “from concept to

you’re working with a group of

the play and the player, as it

fruition.”

people, you know where you

were. Says Director-Producer

First comes Chaos— “all

are and who you are and you

V /fo o /i tfia t id e a o /'to /tu f f/ie /te d am SXg/oi/ti/ ter d tr? ’ a n d ‘u d ia t is f/ie b/'oees.s ,L)’u / t d f a t it on s ta a e .

— P X Z en/'jfX dlfr

Ken Mills, “I took that idea o f what the hell am I going to

this inform ation floating

go from there.” Stein and

do?’ and ‘what is the process?’

around out there.” Second,

Giblin will serve as the closest

and put it on stage.”

Instinct, a gut reaction to the

thing to a Greek chorus that

In fact, he hasn’t put it on

ma r c h

26,

1997

inform ation that is absorbed.

C o n tin u ed on page 2 9

S E V E N DA Y S

BOOKSTORE

22 Church St. • Burlington, VT • 660-8060

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S E V E N DAYS

utside a handful o f actors who’ve appeared in pic tures like Jurassic Park, virtually no one knows what I now know: what it feels like to be attacked by a giant dinosaur. O f course, Barney is a giant only in showbiz, and the attack was limited to a ver bal thrashing (see letters page this issue) from his PR person. Lyrick Studios Media Relations Manager Susan Furman seemed to feel that my last Tube Fed column, titled “Repeat Offender,” was not well-meaning but downright “mean-spirited” in my “criti cisms o f the show” — although I never criticized the popular children’s program, just the merciless rate with which its reruns are aired, and the curious absence o f new productions. Ms. Furman said she thought I should have done a little more research on my topic. So I called her up. W hat I learned surprised even me. Rick Kisonak. You say Barney’s been around for almost 10 years and on PBS since 1992. Susan Furman. Yes, it’s the most popular show with chil dren under six. RK. And you say there are just 68 episodes in rotation? SF: T h at’s right. But 60 more are in production now. RK. So the show is now in its sixth year o f daily broadcast ing. T h at’s an average o f about 11 or 12 new episodes a year [by comparison, the makers o f “Sesame Street” produce 130 new episodes every year]. Doesn’t that seem like a small num ber for a program that’s on 365 days a year? SF: Well, what you’ve got to realize is that repetition is a key ingredient in learning. RK. Are you suggesting your organization deliberately limits the num ber o f new shows because it believes reruns have greater educational value than new programming? SF: No, No. I don’t mean to suggest that. But keep in mind — 4.5 million new Barney fans are born every year. RK. Sure, so the old shows will seem new to them .at first. But what about the kids who have been watching faithfully for, say, four or five years? SF: O h, young children don’t

m ind; it’s adults who are both ered by that sort o f thing. RK. But it’s my three-and-ahalf-year-old daughter who runs screaming from the TV, not me. SF: Well, remember, produc tion has begun on 60 new shows, and those will be added to the rotation. RK. Your letter claims that the money paid by PBS affiliates across the country isn’t suffi cient to cover the cost o f pro ducing the show. Can that be? How much does it cost to pro duce an episode o f “Barney & Friends?” SF: O h, I don’t know. This is a privately held company, so finances aren’t released at all. RK: It just seems like, with all the PBS stations in the coun try sending in all that pledge money, there’d be more than enough. SF: I don’t know. Maybe you should call PBS about that and ask why they order the number o f episodes that they do. RK: Do you mean to suggest that there are so few new episodes o f “Barney” because PBS doesn’t want more? SF: Oh, no. But we think that’s quite a few to be available. RK. You know, most o f the shows I’ve seen lately are from 1992, the very first season. Did you make any new shows at all last year? SF: Uh, no, I don’t think we did. We’ve been awfully busy getting our new two-year, 60city musical stage show up and running. And, o f course, we’ve been hard at work on Barney: The Movie, which will be released next year. I had observed last month that the business entity behind “Barney & Friends” seems interested in producing every thing but new episodes. They also have four new videos, 40 print titles, a Barney magazine and two collections o f songs, Furm an said. I think that was my point. Meanwhile, 13.5 million chil dren in two dozen countries will watch “Barney & Friends” this week. W hen the same old reruns come on, not every one o f them will run from the room shrieking. But not one of them will see the “hardestworking dinosaur in show business” do anything he hasn’t done countless times before. For that, it seems the kids will have to buy a movie ticket. □

mar ch

26,

1997

THE HOYIS CINEMAS

FILM QUIZ THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED

JIM

C A R R E Y

Welcome once again to the version ot our game in which we select 10 well-known movies and replace their titles with a word or phrase which means exactly the same thing. What we'd like you to do, of course, is iden tify all 10. NEW AND IMPROVED: 1. MISSING INTERSTATE 2. MENTAL DEFECTIVES ENTER EXTRA FAST 3. THE BRITISH SICK GUY 4. ANGRY ANIMALS 5. IT WAS ME WHO PLUGGED THAT PAINTER WITH THE WIG 6. TOTAL AUTHORITY 7. THE MINISTER'S MATE 8. A SUBJECT FOR DISCUSSION 9. SWAYERS 10. IN UNHEATED HEMOGLOBIN

ORIGINAL:

ROBIN MARTIN BOB DAVIS ■: TINA THOMAS FRANK LORD SARAH HOLMAN ROSE DOUGLAS PETER GILBERT MARK DESAUTELS PANNY PARADIS ELLEN GIROUX

the private life of David Cronenburg. E . Let’s face it, he’s always seemed like a H pretty creepy guy. These days he’s look- H ing a little on the sexually deviant side, ■ too. Professionally, the quasi-genius ■ behind kitschy milestones like The Brood and The Fly has been in short DRIVING FARCE Un& supply of late. With his latest, an insisCronenberg tently kinky demolition derby of autoerotic nonsense, the director would appear to be running on empty. Crash stars James Spader and Deborah Unger as the least-beiievab' couple since;Mithael and Lisa Marie. I mean, these two are straight out of a Penthouse Forum letter ursuing ever more outri pair of attractive, blank-faced thrill-seekers continually upping the an ■fa demented sex maniac . kicks. So it’s no surprise when Spader gets into a collision, kills the hi (Holly Hunter), starts a sexual relationship with her the instant hes released com the hospital, where upon she introduce, hun to a secret society of other demented sex maniacs v to get their Jotttes by reinansfidd and p m m s;;* jf course, and one he’s often used to chilling effect ( The Brood’ Scanners, Videodrome). I kept waiting for the chilling to start as Spader had sex with Hunter in various cars. And then had sex with Rosanna Arquettes injured leg in a car. And then had sex with his blank-faced wife in cars, under cars, on top of cars, even as she lies bleeding on the side of the road after a car wreck. The movie never did get around to being chilling, but it did eventual ly start to seem a tad funny Laughable, anyway # Maybe the film might’ve had some sort of redeeming quality had Cronenberg managed even the V most far-fetched scrap of an intellectual subtext for all the Swank-meets-Car and Driver hankypanky. Alas, that was apparendy beyond his present abilities. Along with characters who could possibly have come from this planet and dialogue anyone would utter in a million years. In Europe audiences seem to like the film. But then people there also like bathrooms with a big hole in the floor where the toilet should be. My guess is that most folks in this part of the world are going to find that — despite the car nal carnage-— Cronenbergs latest is a crashing bore.

THE DEVIL’ S OWN Brad Pitt plays an IRA fugitive who takes refuge in the home of a New York police officer played by Harrison Ford in the latest from Alan J. Pakula. With Treat Williams and Ruben THE^SIXTH MAN Marlon Wayans has the lead role in this comedy about a basketball player who guides his team to victory with a little help from his dead brother’s ghost. B .A . P . S . (Black American Princesses) The latest from Robert Townsend stars Halle Berry and Natalie Desselle as two Georgia beauty salon employees whose lives get a makeover when they find them selves in the Beverly Hills mansion of millionaire Martin Landau. TURBO? A POWER RANGERS ADVENTURE The further exploits of everybody’s fevorite helmeted superheroes. Well, maybe not everybody’s. CATS’ DON *T DANCE Scott Bakula provides the voice for a happy-footed feline in this animated fea ture about a car who wants to make it big in the movies.

on y o u r local previewguide channel

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS | LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS: .'*>

■

PRCVISWS

Don't forget to toatch T h e Good. The Bad & The

Brrr. That’s me shuddering to think

TAKE YOUR PICK: MEG RYAN, BECAUSE SHE ALONE HAS NOT BEEN ROMANTI CALLY LINKED TO A PRODUCER OR DIRECTOR; OR MIA FARROW, BECAUSE SHE ALONE HAS NOT MADE A FILM BASED ON A REAL LIFE PERSONALITY OR EVENT.

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK

SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, WILIISTON, VT 05495 FAX: 658-3929

BE SURE TO INCLUDE TOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW 4-6 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES.

SHORTS LIAR LIAR (NR) In his latest, Jim Carrey plays a slimeball attorney whose life is turned around when his son’s birthday wish is granted and the old man must tell the truth and nothing but the truth from that moment on. With Jennifer Tilly. Directed by Tom (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective) Shayac. dered in 1995 by the president of her fan dub. Edward James Olmos co-stars. PORTRAIT OP A LADY (NR) Jane (The Piano) Campion brings the Henry James book to the big screen with fellow Aussie Nicole Kidman in the role of an American who embarks on a journey of selfdiscovery char takes her across Europe. HAMLET (NR) Kenneth Branagh directs and stars in the latest — and, at three-and-a-half hours, the

screen (his ego wouldn't fit on the small one). With real-life cohorts Robin Quivers and Fred Norris. JUNGLE (NR) J h (TheSa Cla ) P ‘ di th' ak f h 1994 F ch flop. « • / « * « . a J stars as a Wall S , L iecutive reuoittd with his son. who's been U raised m the jungles of Venezuela, with Martin Short and Sam Huntington. duction concerning a mentally handicapped man and his violent past. MARVIN'S ROOM (HR) Meryl S««p and Diane Keaton arcestranged sisters in Jetty Zak's adapta tion of Scott McPhersons acclaimed 1991 play about a Florida family trying to come to terms with a member's illness. Keaton's received an Oscar nomination for her p e r fo rn L I With Robert DeNiro,

Corner of Battery & Main

660-5545

SHOWTIMCS Films run Friday, March 28 through Thursday, April 3.

ETHAN A L L E N

-New Releases-

-New A rrivals-

First Wive s Club HarsemanentlnReef American Buffalu Walking a Talking 2 Days In the Halley Baund The Long Kiss Getdnight Space Jam

Buckaroo Banzai Stevie Gates nlBeaven Tap Bat TWin Peaks (All 29) TheFeurthMan Halley tf die Dalis 10 irm Year Shaw af Shews

D ro p Box U p d a te W e n o w h a v e b o x e s a t U V M a n d H in e s b u r g ! C a l l u s w it h s u g g e s t i o n s f o r n e w s i t e s in

* not reviewed

rating scale

CINEMAS

North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Evita 12, 2:40, 6:30, 9:10. Shine 12:10, 2:50, 6:50, 9:30. Dantes Peak 12:30, 3:10, 7, 9:40. Absolute Power 6:40, 9:20. 101 Dalmations 12:20, 3. Evening shows Mon. - Fri.; all shows Sat. - Sun.

CINEMA

NINE

Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 Turbo: Power Rangers 2* 11:30, 1:45, 4, 7:15, 9:25. Devil’s Own* 12:20, 3:30, 6:50, 9:55. Cats D on’t Dance* 12, 2:15, 4:30, 7:10, 9:20. Liar, Liar 11:45, 2, 4:15, 7:20, 9:35. Selena 12:30, 3:15, 6:55, 9:50. T he R eturn o f the Jedi 12:40, 3:20, 6:30, 9:45. Jungle 2 Jungle 12:50, 3:40, 7:05, 9:15. Howard Stearns Private Parts 12:10, 3:30, 6:50, 9:55. Jerry M aguire 12:15, 3:10, 6:35, 9:30. All shows daily.

S H O WC A S E C I N E M A S 5 W illiston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. Sixth Man* 12:50, 3:20, 6:55, 9:30. BA.P.S.* 1, 3:40, 7:05, 9:35. Liar, Liar 1:10, 3:50, 7, 9:30. Selena 12:30, 3:30, 6:45, 9:20. Donnie Brasco 12:40, 3:25, 6:50, 9:25. Evening shows Mon. - Fri., all shows Sat. Sun. N I C K E L O D E O N C I N E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Devil’s Own* 1, 3:30, 7:10, 9:30. Empire Strikes Back 1:20, 4:10, 7, 9:40. Crash 4:30, 10. H am let 1:30, 6:45. H ow ard Stearns Private Parts 1:10, 4, 9:50. M arvin’s Room 2, 7:30. Sling Blade 3:40, 6:30, 9:20. English Patient 12:45, 6:40. All shows daily. THE

SAVOY

M ain Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Portrait o f a Lady 4:30, 7:30 (daily). 1:30 (Sat.-Sun. only). * Starts Friday. Movie times subject to change. Please call the theater to confirm.

W i n o o s k i , S h e l b u r n e , W illis t o n , a n d M a lle t ’s B a y

mar ch

26,

1997

S E V E N DA Y S

page

o p e n in g s RECENT WORKS, featuring drawings and paintings by Whitney Kitch and paintings by Mary Zeno. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 865-6227. Reception March 26, 6-8 p.m. UNVEI LI NG CEREMONY of a painting, “Chiante Mastrante,” donated by Judith Simonian, a former artist-in-residence. Dining Room, Alliot Student Center, Saint Michael’s College, Colchester, 654-2535. Reception March 26, 3 p.m.

o n g o in g MARRIAGE, a spousal exhibit featuring furniture by Charles Shakleton and stoneware pot tery by Miranda Thomas. Frog Hollow, Burlington, 863-6458. March 28-April 28. R E F LE C T I O NS , paintings by Sally Loughridge. Isabels, Burlington, 865-2522. April 1-May 7. MUD SEASON, an exhibit of ceramics by high school students around the state. Downtown storefronts and Vermont Clay Studio, Montpelier, 223-4220. April 1-29. CONCRETE PA I RS, drawings, paintings and sculpture by Nancy Storrow. Francis Colburn Gallery, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-2014. Through April 4. LOST. RUSS I A, A Journey into the Russian Heardand, black-and-white photographs by William Craft Brumfield. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 22. FROM BEFORE MY GRANDMOTHER: Highlights of the Vermont Traditional Arts Apprenticeship Program, photographed by Jack Rowell. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through July 12. THE BODY AND I T S IMAGE : ART. TECHNOLOGY AND MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE, four cen turies of Western medicines representations of the body. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., (603) 646-2426. Through June 22. ANTHONY BENOIT, paintings by the Haitian artist go beyond traditional. Durick Library, Saint Michaels College, Colchester, 654-2535. Through April 3. SE LE CT ED WORKS by Elaine Ittleman. Yellow Dog Restaurant, Winooski, 655-1703. Through March. ART FROM THE HEART, featuring paintings and drawings by chil dren from the pediatric wing of Fletcher Allen Hospital. Burlington College Gallery, Burlington, 862-9616. Through April 12. CELEBRATI NG WOMEN'S ART, a mixed media exhibit featuring members of the community and the Vermont Womens Caucus for Art. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 865-7165. Through April 20. DO ALL DOGS BARK? Paintings by Jennifer Burton. Food For Thought, Stowe, 253-4733. Through April 10. HAWAIIAN WATERCOLORS -by Calvin Collins. Daily Planet, Burlington, 658-8956. Through March. A ORE AT I V E

THE COLLABORATIVE PROCESS: THE ART OF THEATRE DESI GN, focues on the spring production of Arcadia. Middlebury

College Museum of Art, 443-5007. Through June 1. IMAGES OF THE NORTHEAST KINGDOM, paintings, prints, drawings and collages by Bob Manning. Shayna Gallery, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through April 3. BARGELLO/WEAVINGS by Jill Waxman; also O I L S & ACRYL I CS, paintings by Marcia Rosberg, Pickering and Fletcher Room, respectively, Fletcher Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through March. SPOUT

Jackets • Vests Backpacks Briefcases Wallets and more •All Leather Products •Sales, Repairs & Refurbishing •21 years of Custom Work by Owner

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YOU.THE INTERNET. Isn't it time you got together? f r i e n d l y

h e l p d e s k

u n l i m i t e d l o c a l

a c c e s s

c o m p a n y

PEPPER RALLY

Whitney Kitch

and Mary Zeno offer vegetables and the subjects o f other king doms in a joint exhibit at

OUT, an exhibition of teapots by New England artist.

Burlington’s Uncommon Vermont Clay Studio, Montpelier, 223-4220. Through March 29. BYZANTIUM, recent glittery paintings by Anne Davis. About Thyme Grounds. The drawings and Cafe, Montpelier, 229-0635. Through March. PRINTS , PAINTINGS by Terry Racich. Sneakers, Winooski, 6559081. Through March. paintings hang through May 4. MORE WILD, WILD L I F E ! watercolors by Anastasia Bartus. Smugglers Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2412. Through April 5Above, Kitch’s “Yellow Peppers. ” WORKING ART, paintings, drawings and sculpture by Edith Kramer and prints and metalwork by Lynn Newcomb, and ON THE ROAD TO ABSTRACTION: Selections from the WPA. TW Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through April 27. VERMONT FAMI LY ALBUM, contemporary photos by Nakki Goranin and historic photos from her col lection. Vermont State Building, Burlington, 865-2412. Ongoing. S E P I K COMPOSITIONS, sago palm bark paintings and carved wooden shields from Papua New Guinea. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., (603) 646-2808. Through June. BEFORE THE THAW and other handmade prints by Roy Newton. Isabels, Burlington, 865-2522. Through March. G E RRI T GOLLNER, paintings, drawings and prints. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington, 864-8040, ext. 121. Through March 28. ■ LITHOGRAPHS, monoprints and hand-pulled linoprints by Roy Newton. Wing Building, Burlington, 8641557, Through March, SCENES FROM AN ISLAND YEAR, lithographs, lino-prints and monoprints by Roy Newton. Red Onion, Burlington, 865-2563. Through April. PAI NTI NGS AND DRAWINGS through the seasons by Dead Creek, by Margaret Parlour, and PASTEL LANDSCAPES of Vermont by Lisa Angell. Green Mountain Power Corp., South Burlington, 864-1557. Through March. INTERNATIONAL ART gallery featuring works in mixed media by international and local artists. Integrity Arts International, Cornerstone Building, Burlington, 860-7000. Ongoing. FURNISHINGS AND PAI NT INGS by Ruth Pope. Ruth Pope Gallery, Wildwood Arts, Montpelier, 2292766. Ongoing, SNOW CRYSTALS, 100 original snowflake microphotographs by Wilson Bentley (1865-1931). Old Red Mill, Jericho, 899-3225. Through March 29. THE BEST O F . . . A mixed-media show celebrating regional art. Furchgott Sourdiflfe Gallery, Shelburne,

985-3848. Ongoing. PHOTOGRAPHS and archives of Vermont people, scenics, New York and the Great Plains by Peter Miller. Peter Miller Photography Gallery, Waterbury, 244-5339. Ongoing. RE: FAB PAI NTI NG ABSTRACTED, FABRI CATED AND REV I $ E D , featuring work by 15 con

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ob/gyn

SAHRA JUNE ASCHENBACH, APRN. Licensed Clinical Specialist in Psychiatric & Mental Health Nursing. Awakening Center for Transformative Therapies & The Healing Arts. Counseling, Psychotherapy, Transpersonal, Holistic, Psychospiritual. 2 Harbor Rd., Shelb. 985-2346. BODY-CENTERED PSY CHOTHERAPY. Marti B. Killelea, MSW-Heart-Focused therapy involving touch, dia log, silence and presence, and Cranial-Sacral Body Work. “The heart the door, the body the threshold, step through to your soul.” Call 863-3328, sliding fee.

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Donegan o f Winooski, diets low on meat and high risk o f some common healtk problems. “Vegetarians tend to eat less saturated fat, so their cholesterol is lower and, in the big picture, they are less apt to have a heart attack down the road,” says Dpnegan. “Research has also shown that people who eat those lecomtoerlded fiye fruk$ and “ vegetables a day are less apt to have cancer and . osteoporosis.” ! s 1 Although Cutting out fatty meats is good for ; your heart, Burlington naturopathic phyrictan Donna Powelinotes that rep liin gth isp rotein sup plement with dairy, as many vegetarians are prone to do, can be equally harmful. f Vegetarians tend to use dairy as their proteins, which is also high in fat... and may be unhealthy for their heart,” says Powell. She also maintains that vegetarians need to be more vigilant about balancing their protein and carbohydrate intake. “If you’re just eating carbohydrates such as bread, pasta, pastry, chips, what you’re getting are sugars, not proteins^ and that can be a factor in hypoglycemia and the possible development o f diabetes,” she explains. Both Donegan and Powell maintain that variety is key in atht^lpy vegetarian — or any — diet. Ode o f the best ways to monitor y h u i daily dietary needs, says Donegan, is by substituting vegetarian fare in the food guide pyram idftlong w id & x tol 1 servings o f grain, two to three servings o f fruit and should consume two to three servings o f protein, such as beans, peas; lehtils,ripts and seeds, andjfhree to four servings o f calcium-rich foods like dairy, for-

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862-9622

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general health N EW ENGLAND MEDICAL SYSTEMS. Services: rentals; in-home demos; repairs to new & used equipment. Sales: rehab equip.; bathroom safety; aids for daily living; power scooters; wheelchairs; beds & orthotics. We resell equip, on consignment. 860-2600 or 1800-860-2711.

herbs PURPLE SH UTTER HERBS. Winter got you by the nose? We’ve got bulk echi nacea, winter cold tea, sinus massage oil & soothing lozenges. Stop by for some relief. 100 Main St., Burl., Mon.-Sat. 10-6, 865-HERB.

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psychologists LINDA SCOTT: 864-1877, Burlington. See display ad

Group begins May 5th

mental health MARION TREDEAU, RNCS, Mental Health Therapist. Practice involves assisting w/ a variety of life issues including grief & loss, relationships & orientation. Fees negotiable. 802-4541432.

SP IR ITU A L LOSSSPIRITUAL SEARCH C ut off from your spiritual self? • trauma • crisis • disinterest • confusion

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Do you want to regain a connection to God, higher power or Spirit? A five w eek therapy group is forming for spring to address these issues. Call Juliana O'Brien M.S.W., M.Div. for information on individual and group treatment.

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VITAMIN C O N NECTION : 862-2590, 72 Main St., Burlington. See display ad. E.T. SUPPLEMENTATION: 865-7978-656-6683. Call for free catalog. See display ad.

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weightloss TAMARACK ASSOCIATES: Herbal weightloss, (802) 6572595. See display ad.

yoga

BURLINGTON YOGA STU DIO, 174 Main St., 658YOGA. Daily classes are offered in Astanga, Iyengar, Kripalu and Bikram styles. Plus special week end workshops. Beginners can start anytime. YOGA THERAPY. Tap into self-knowledge and body wis dom, leading to healing and transformation. Martha Whitney, 860-2814.

VITAMINS & HERBS At LOW PRI CES Vitamin C 500mg 100 Tabs ..............$ 5.40 Ginkgo Biloba 60mg 120 Caps.......... $ 19.15 Echinacea Organic 50 Caps............ $ 7.95 Glucosamine Suit 500mg 100 Caps.$ 22.35 Vitamin E400IU100 Gels.................. $ 7.95 Coenzyme Q10 30mg 150 Caps...... $ 26.35 Zinc Lozenges 50 Tablets.................$ 6.35

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astrology

M arch 2 7 - A p ril 2 This isn’t the first time on record that April Fools Day has fallen in the wake of Easter, but at none of the previous convergences was there also a splashy comet reaching its peak intensity — let alone a comet that many conspiracy buffs believe is j accompanied by a giant spaceship crammed with tricky aliens. Yup. This is the week the April Fool meets the Resurrected Christ meets the Comet Hale-Bopp in one freaky blow}out bash. What can we expect? A mass | conversion of atheist pranksters to Christianity? A new religion — the Hale-Bopp Temple of the Whoopie Cushion? — founded on a recently : discovered gospel which reveals the Lost Jokes of Jesus? Maybe. On the other hand, we’ll also be in the midst of a weighty conclave of the Sun, Saturn and Venus. This could render your love life more meaningful and committed than it’s been in months. O r else maybe heavier and more smothering than it’s been. Or all the above. I urge you to prepare for this romantic showdown as you would for a final exam that’s crucial to your graduation. You’ll probably have no choice but to immerse yourself in a relendessly profound exploration o f your approach to giving and taking, so you should do ail you can to make sure you’re not just winging it.

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tug of war against a gang of elephants. You’re so sexy you could arouse a tree. You’re so interesting you could give a dramatic reading of the dictionary and draw a bigger crowd than God mudwrestling the devil. You’re so smart you could solve a personal problem that’s baffled you for years. APRIL FOOL! I lied about the elephants. (But everything else is true.)

people just might magically encourage them to see the best in you. Deciding which two things in life you want more than anything else and giving them higher priority than all your other desires will sooner or later bring you exactly what you need most. APRIL FOOL! Life couldn’t possibly be that simple. Could it? APRIL FOOLED YOU TWICE! Yes it could.

TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): To atone for your sins of the past 12 months, I suggest you borrow the shtick of certain Filipino Catholics, who every year around this time march in their bare feet five miles down dirt roads while wearing real crowns of thorns and slapping their backs with spike-studded crucifixes. APRIL FOOL! On second thought, why don’t you simply write a short note saying you’re sorry to everyone you’ve hurt in the past year, and then buy a nice gift for yourself as a reward for the courage you’ve showed in admitting you were wrong.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I can’t decide whether to compare your week to a Swiss army knife or a platypus. It’ll be a real milange. I’m predicting big teases, pure flukes and kitchen sinks. There’ll be beautiful messes, smart insanities and bizarre standards. To meet the challenge, I suggest you learn how to be three places at once and all things to all people. APRIL FOOL! Everything I just said was too mild. Multiply it by a factor of 10. Learn how to be 30 places at once.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): There’s a good chance you’ll soon be called upon to break up a fistfight... or save the life 'a drowning person,!, or rescue a baby | from a b u r n ^ u ild b g ,., or puH off spine other W f e s |^ I U L FOOLl |i|tfae di«4 i®be'One of yourilost

astrological aspects, overly precious gifts and love potions and exaggerations will be totally unnecessary. Instead, just feed your love blueberries by candlelight as you tell him or her true stories of the great adventures you’re going to pull off together.

SCORPIO , hereafter to be known as WHINY BABY (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A panel of 100 astrologers has voted to temporarily change the name of your sign to “Whiny Baby.” If all goes well — that is, if you intensely vent all your bitching and complaining during the next couple weeks — the name will be changed back to “Scorpio” by April 10. But remember, it won’t be enough just to whine; you’ll also have to either fix or withdraw from the conditions that are making you so grumpy. APRIL FOOL! The very earliest “Whiny Baby” can revert to “Scorpio” is April 15.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Be goddess Juno Februataissaid to have stunningly groomed at all times, Virgo. conceived the god Mats by communing; Dress to kill and show off outrageously. erotically with a sacred 13y,Thc Virgin This is one week when it’s healthy to be Mary achieved her gravid state with the devoted to sucking up ktfe and help of a dove, and the Greek hero Attis attention. APRIL F O Q L 1 1 don’t object started germinating in his mom after she to you looking good — the Tfigestedni pomegraiiffe seed. A m i4ki«|^p astrological aspects suggest you’ltt just yoU^Sagictarius, are about to become . ? naturally fesy these d ay^ gb u t the fact pregnant with an ingenious brainchild Is that youshould now he studying other through mysdc4:;^oi^h %&x-pack them |j c||beer. APRIL KX&2 You vloiiiieed affairs. ■Spy mi

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slavishly unselfish. APRIL FOOL! Who ever said that being of service to your fellow humans requires you to be a boring goody-goody? Do the kind of noble deeds that gratify your ego and thrill your sense of adventure.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Postpone haircuts, marriages, major purchases and trips to places with a “6” in the address. When you cross a street, always lead with your left foot and blink your right eye five times. For good luck when seeking an important favor, envision flying monkeys. APRIL FOOL! I would never give you stupid, pseudomagical advice like that! And I hope you didn’t believe it for an instant! Always remember I’m here to stimulate your imagination — not fill you up with dumb superstitions! Which reminds me: It’s high time to dump every last one of your dumb superstitions.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): First make sure no one’s looking. Then press your forehead against the message you’re now reading. The paper it’s printed on is saturated with DGNCF, a revolutionary new medicine which the body assimilate through the skin. This miracle drug is guaranteed to make you more pt ‘ guide you to create good psychic boundaries, make you a better ;

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Classifieds announcements NEED T O SWAP A PAIR O F TICKETS T O STOMP. I have 2 tickets for Tues. 4/22, center floor, row R. Would like to swap for Wed. 4/23. Call Gail, 849-2380.

real estate G O V ’T FORECLOSED H O M ES from pennies on $1. Delinquent tax, repo’s, RE O ’s. Your area. Tollfree, 1-800-218-9000, Ext. H-6908 for current listings.

office space BURLINGTON: Downtown, 161 Main St., 2- rm., 2nd floor office/studio workspace, $325/mo., indudes utifs. No parking. Call Bill, 862-4366.

studio space BURLINGTON: Friendly, easy going F studio artist seeks 1 or 2 other F’s to share lovely, waterfront studio space in the Wing Building (on bike path, near Perkins Pier). Private entrance, self-regulated heat & A/C, high ceilings, large win dows. 1/2 (or 1/3) o f $300 + utils, building fees. Call 864-7480.

apartment for rent BURLIN G TO N : Germain St., 3 bcfem. apt. on quiet street: gas, hardwood floors, W /D , yard, garage. $775/mo. +. Avail. June 1. Call 658-3114. BURLINGTON: No. Winooski Ave., 2 bdrm. Victorian apt.; hard wood floors, gas, parking. $600/mo. +. Avail. May 1. Call 658-3114.

looking for apartment I’M A GREAT TENANT! Prof. F seeks 1 bdrm. apt./condo in greater Burlington area, long-term lease, April 1 or later. Call 860-1429.

housemates BURLIN G TO N : 1 furnishedbdrm. avail, in spacious, 2 bdrm. duplex; heat, water, parking included; close to UVM. Avail, mid May - mid Aug. $450/mo. Call Ryan, 8626496. BURLIN G TO N : F to share beauti ful, 3 bdrm., Maple St. apt. Wood floors, parking, lake views, $350/mo. No dogs. Call 864-9862. BU R LIN G TO N : 2 F’s looking for creative, responsible housemate to share relaxed, queer-friendly Old N orth End apt.; garden & parking, $200/mo. No pets. Call Sarah or S h an n o n ,864-9460.

BU R LIN G TO N : Non smoking roommate for small bedroom in otherwise spacious apt. Parking & storage, $190/mo. 863-9572.

MIDDLEBURY SPIRAL BOA RDING HOUSE. Peaceful, country setting for individual. Suites (bdrm., sitting rm., private bath), evening meals &C pickup breakfast, all utils.; for only $500/mo. Nonsmoking. 388-7777.

“HOLY COW, BATMAN, IT looks like we’ve been hit by the W hite Tornado!” “No, Robin, I’d say Alfred finally called Diane H., Housekeeper to the Stars.” “T hat’s right, Mr. Wayne, I dialed 6587458.”

R IC H M O N D : Seeking, prof., NS for rm. in 3 bdrm. duplex. W /D , 2 bath, sundeck, yard, $260/$296, heat inch No pets. 434-5834. R IC H M O N D : 5 m onth sublet avail, immediately. Room in idyllic farmhouse on dirt road, 20 min. from Burlington, waterfall includ ed. $275/mo. +. Jenny, 434-5183. SHELBURNE: Responsible, NS professional/grad. for 3 bdrm. house. Wood/oil heat, laundry, no more pets, $250/mo. + 1/3 utils. Avail, now. 985-2592.

buy this stuff TIC K ETS NOW : VT Body building Show, June 7th, Flynn Theatre. See Miss Olympia, Kim Chizevsky, Women’s Best Bodybuilder. Call to reserve tickets now, 863-5966 or 865-3068. FURNITURE: New Queen-size mattress and box spring, $200. Modern Design sofa, rust-brown, Bauhaus, $500 Call 655-0827. 20 DIFFERENT, GREAT, HEALTHY vegetarian recipes. Send S.A.S.E. & $2 to P.O. Box 5333, Burlington, VT 05402-5333. H O U S E H O L D G O O D S: Reconditioned/used appliances, electronics, furniture & household items. ReCycle North: save $, reduce waste, train the homeless, alleviate poverty. Donors/shoppers wanted. 266 Pine St., 658-4143. Open seven days/week. RECIPE SECRET: Country style Honey Mustard Vinaigrette for sal ads that would impress Martha Stewart! Entertain w/ style! Send $7.50 to: M y C ountry Salad, P.O. Box 5183, Burlington, VT 05402. 400 WATT METAL-HALIDE light fixtures. Complete with Ballast. $125 Real Nice Units. O ther Bulbs & Ballasts, too! Call 203-792-2676. MAKE YOUR O W N W INE! Homebrewed beer and soft drinks, too with equipment, recipes, and friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. Located next to the Beverage Warehouse, E. Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070.

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MALLETTS BAY: Share w/ 2 prof. F. 3 bdrm ., 1 1/2 bat, great loca tion, near lake, mins, to Burlington. Cats O.K., no dogs. Friendly, easy-going atmosphere^ $270/mo. + 1/3 utils. 879-3536.

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effectively with wide-range of indi viduals and organizations inside and outside o f the Land Trust. An understanding and commitment to land conservation is required. Position involves some state-wide travel and is located at the head quarters office in Montpelier. To apply, please send resume and cover letter by April 9, to D C Search Committee, Vermont Land Trust, 8 Bailey Ave., Montpelier, VT 05602. No telephone calls accepted.

VOLUNTEERS FOR MEDICAL RESEARCH Healthy males & females (ages 18-45) needed fo r UVM study

automotive SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, BM W ’s, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4W D ’s. Your area. 1-800-218-9000 Ext. A-6908 lor current listings.

help wanted GREEN M OUNTAIN AUDUBON Summer Day Camp staff & internship positions avail able. Plan, organize & teach envi ronmental education to children in an outdoor setting. Call 434-3068 for information. G RO W ING MAIL-ORDER com pany seeks enthusiastic and goodhumored person for general ware house duties. Immediate full-time position available for self-motivated and hardworking individual. Responsibilities will include ship ping & receiving daily orders, counting and stocking inventory, filing and sorting invoices, and a variety of fun tasks. Please call 6572830.

Brewery Representative Vermont field sales representative for the Magic Hat Brewing Co. If you are self-directed and ambitious and you possess a positive mental attitude and creative spirit, please send your resume'with references to: Magic Hat Brewing Co., 180 Flynn Ave., Burlington, VT 05401, Att. Director of Sales. You must be a minimum of 21 years of age with a valid drivers license and a reliable automobile to apply. Consumer products sales experience a plus. No phone calls please. V E R M O N T LAND TRUST Development and Communications Coordinator. The Vermont Land Trust, a state-wide nonprofit con servation organization, seeks a full time person to coordinate a variety o f communications and develop ment functions. This individual plans, coordinates, and implements the following responsibilities: com munications and fund raising strat egy; creative communications pro gram, including developing overall themes, information gathering, and identification of story ideas, and regional efforts; production of all printed material; and marketing & public relations, including press conferences and other media and special events. Assist the design and implementation o f corporate and membership program and annual appeal. Interact regularly with con stituency groups, general public, and media. Qualifications: a Bachelor’s degree in marketing, communications, or other appropri ate discipline plus 3-4 years of rele vant experience. Demonstrated ability and creativity in communi cations and public relations. Strong technical knowledge and skills relat ed to fund raising, including annual giving, membership, individual and corporate programs. Excellent research, planning, and organiza tional skills and writing, verbal, and analytic ability. Com puter profi ciency in Windows ’95, Microsoft Word, and Access. Ability to deal

on effects o f com m only used medications. Weekdays fo r E -10 weeks. Compensation to

$1000 This is a medical research study, it is n o t an em ploym ent position. Please leave message at 660-3070 AIRLINE JOBS! Now hiring. $10$25 per hour. All positions, skilled and un-skilled. Excellent pay/benefits. Call 1-504-429-9229. Ext. 4580A12, 24 hours. $1000’S POSSIBLE READING BOOKS. Part Time. At Home. Toll-free, 1-800-218-9000 Ext. R-6908 for listings.

WANT TO JOIN a swell team al Hie fastest-growing newspaper in Vermont? SEVEN DAYS is seeking an energetic, organized, self-

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Call 864-CCTA to respond to a listing or to be listed. BARRJE/BERLIN to BURLING TO N . I’m an early bird. Need to be to wotk on Pine St. by 6:30 a.m. and I get out at 3 p.m. Can meet you in Berlin P/R if more convenient than Barre. (2200) SEARS AREA to WATERBURY. Long time carpooler needs some new pool members. Works at state building, approx. 7:30 a.m. 4 p.m. Leave Sears at 6:45 a.m. (1149) BURLINGTON. Let's ride together from Church St. to the Holiday Inn in Burlington. Working hours are 7:30 a.m. to 2 p.m., sometimes work to 5 p.m. (2319)

business opp MAKE A DIFFERENCE: Are you interested in extra income? Full or part-time. You must be interested in preventative organic healthcare. Call for info, 1-800-576-5294. N IC H E RETAIL CL O T H IN G STORE FOR SALE. High visibility location generates good cash flow & profits for owner. Priced at $65,000 plus inventory. Call CBI, 863-3459. FINANCIAL INDEPENDEN CE! Easy profits selling mail-order reports! Best $2 you’ll ever spend! Send SASE plus $2 to: Fraser Fundmentals, 1306 Ethan Allen Ave. #3A, Colchester, VT 05446. AM BITIOUS PEOPLE W ANT ED. Capitalize on the home-based business boom! By the year 2000 half the population will be working from home. We’re focused on the $31 billion personal development industry & $454 billion homebased, small-based business market. We will take you there now w/ our unique educational product, extra ordinary business & unparalled sales/support system. Serious inquiries. 1-800-775-0712, x 8782. W ORK AT HO M E: For more information send $1 and a SASE to: Info, Dan, 205 Pettingill Rd., Essex Jet., VT 05452-2667. ARE YOU LIVING O R SURVIV ING? Tired of the resume game? Is your job going nowhere? WAKE UP! Be your own boss! Earn unlim ited $$! Will train. Jen, 651-0188.

COLCHESTER to WILLISTON RD. Looking for a ride MF, work 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. {2562)

lufor/instruction ED IT IN G /PR O O FR E A D IN G / W R IT IN G T U TO R IA L SER VICES. Experienced freelance edi tor & writing tutor. Special rates for graduate & ESL students. Call 655-5953, polish your prose today!

( 2202)

COLCHESTER to IBM. 7 p.m. to 7 a.m., looking for a ride to • work. (2332) W INOOSKI to VERGENNES. Looking to carpool on a daily basis. It's too much for one per son alone. My hours are 8 a.m. 7 p.m., but it can be flexible. (1985)

BURLINGTON. Ride Heeded from Burlington to The Teddy Bear Factory on Shelburne Rd. (2323) BURLINGTON to CO L CHESTER. Ride needed from No. Willard St., Burlington to Bean Rd., Colchester. (2298)

SPANISH IN STR U C TO R / T U TO R . VT certified w/ four years classroom & tutoring experi ence. All levels, flexible hours, rea sonable group and individual rates. Call 655-7691 for more info.

photography PH O T O G R A PH E R SEEKS female models to expand portfolio & for publication. Seeking models who are in shape & attractive. Please call Carl, 860-1055.

FOR SALE: TASCAM 388, 1/4 in. 8-track & mixer w/ remote con trol., $1200. MXR Blue Box, $50. Bill, 860-5061. GUITARIST FO R M IN G original, thoughtful, upbeat alternative music band. Goals: regional gigs, recording, FUN - usual (vocals, bass, drums) and unusual (cello, viola, keyboards). Tom, 660-2909. SAXAPHONIST AVAILABLE for working band - jazz, folk, rock styles. Formerly with uproot. Contact Zack Leader, 655-7412.

T H E KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE has 1 lock-out rehearsal rooms avail, for solo drummer. 24-hr. access; hourly rehearsal avail., too. Discounted rates before 6 p.m. Call for appt. 660-2880.

BURLINGTON to BERLIN. Ride wanted. Need to be at desti nation 8:30 - 9 a.m. and picked up ar 3:30 p.m. Willing to assist in gas costs. Can be dropped off at BC/BS office if more conve nient. (2201)

COLCHESTER to DOW N TOWN BURLINGTON. Ride needed 2 days a week. Working hours arc 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. (2333)

UNDERHILL to FLETCHER ALLEN HOSP. Willing to share in driving. Weekends, 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (2299)

SO N IC T O N IC : 16 Burlington bands on 1 C D in local record stores. $5 (to benefit Spectrum Youth Services), www.bigheavyworld.com .

WATERBURY to WILLISTON. Commuter needs ride home from Ave. D area to Waterbury around 3:30 p.m. Can wait until later, willing to pay. (2244)

BURLINGTON to SO. BURL. 1 know it seems a short distance, but with my work hours of 11 p.m. - 7 a.m. I need a ride to work when the bus doesrir run. Please call if you can help me our.

MILTON to BURLINGTON. Second shift. Looking for a ride to UVM. Working hours are 2 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. (2312)

SHELDON to DOWNTOWN BURLINGTON. Looking to form a vanpooi from northern parr o f 1-89 to Burlington. Working hours are approx. 9 5:30 p m . « 2 8 9 F -~ ~

Id . Working nights? I’roiookiog for a ride. My work hours are 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. If you can help, please respond. (2334)

BURLINGTON, to TAFT CORNERS. Ride needed M-F. I need to be to work by 7 aem. If you can drive, please call. (2300)

PLATTSBURGH to IBM. Lets save $! Work W-F 7 p.m. to 7 ajn. If these are your hours, respond. (2304)

SHELBURNE RD. to FLETCH ER ALLEN. I work 1 i p.m. to 7 a.m. (2335)

sessa own car. If interested, send resnme to SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164,

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UNDERHILL to BURLING TO N . hooking to share driving with someone coming from Underhill area to downtown Burl. Work hours are from 8:30 - y 5 p.m. M-F. Let s help each orher out and carpool! (2 177)

PLAYIN’ IN T H E BAND? Let BIG ED ’S S T U D IO ON W HEELS capture the gig on tape with 8,16 or 24 track live remote capabilities, you next release will have ’em D A N C IN ’ IN T H E STREETS!! Call 802-266-8839 or email biged@ together.net. M USICIANS - PR O M O TIO N A L P H O T O S - New Studio. ’Special* photo shoot and 10 B&W 8x10 photos w/ band name: $100, many options available. Peter Wolf Photo-Graphics, 802-899-2350/ pawoIf@aol.com.

music instruction BASS LESSONS: Teacher available for acoustic & electric bass. Learn theory, technique, reading music & improvise. Justin, 899-4024. GUITAR LESSONS: All ages, lev els & styles. Reasonable rates, B.A. in music, 5 years teaching exp. Call Josh Stacy, 658-1896. GUITAR IN S T R U C T IO N : All styles, any level. Emphasis on devel oping strong technique, thorough musicianship and personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo, Gordon Stone, etc.). 862-7696.

art

ARTISTS W ANTED. The International Artists and Business Alliance is accepting portfolios of artists wanting national 5c interna tional marketing and representa tion. P.O. Box 4150, Burlington, VT 05406-4150.

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Classifieds POETS WANTED. The CornerStone Poets Association now form ing and wanting poets. Public read ings, discussions, critique. For more info call 860-7000.

bands for hire

THROBIILATE! The Throbulators are now booking summer weddings and parties!!

FOR A GOOD TIME (A LL

802 827 6626 802 878 2965 carpentry/painting REPAIRS, RENOVATIONS, PAINTING, consultations, decks, windows, doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured, references. Chris Hanna, 865-9813.

personal training LOOK G O O D A N D FEEL G O O D for the summer. Hire the services o f an ACE Certified Personal Trainer. Mark Anthony Bailey, 865-8457. UNCOM FORTABLE AT HEALTH CLUBS? I’ll help you meet your fitness goals in your own home. Beginners especially wel come. Julie Trottier, Certified Personal Trainer, 878-2632. $35 per 90 min. session. Free brochure.

massage

psychics

MASSAGE THE WAY IT’S MEANT TO BE. Private. Peaceful. Relaxing environment. Soak in hot tub before session to mellow your mind, warm your body. Sessions from $45- Certified therapist. Tranquil Connection, 654-6860.

WHAT DIRECTION SHOULD you go??? Let a psychic help!!! Just call 1-900-267-9999x8113. $3.99/m in., must be 18 yrs. Serv U (619) 645-8434.

TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep therapeutic massage. Intro session: $30, reg. session: $40. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Very flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029. THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE: Swedish Esalen Body Work. Special intro rate. Sliding scale fee avail able. Office on Church St. Karen Ross & Lynn Waller, 863-9828.

UP-TO-DATE SPORTS SCORES, Point Spreads, Finance Stocks & more! 1-900-388-5800, x 6342. 24 hrs., $2.99/m in„ 18+ only. Serv-U (619) 645-8434.

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entertainment

notified that the taxes for the year 1994-1995 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following described lands and premises in the Town o f Huntington, to wit: PARCEL NO- 1: Lands and premises owned by Richard L. Cabell. PARCEL N O . 2: Lands and premises owned by Charles, Maybelle, Donald and Deanna Lawyer. PARCEL N O . 3: Lands and premises owned by Teal Group, Inc.

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internet services $$ NETVERTISE® $$ your prod ucts, services, collectibles to 50 mil lion internet users on www.iMall.com. 400,000 visits daily! LOW COST. Call toll free 1-888-YANKNET. Yankee Internet Consulting. ADVERTISE YOUR PRODUCT or service on the Internet. Reach 40,000,000 people worldwide. Show your product in full-color graphics. Ask about classified adver tising on the Internet. For informa tion, call 1-802-658-6073.

NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and non-resident own ers, lienholders and mortgagees of lands and premises in the Town of Huntington, County o f Chittenden and State o f Vermont, are hereby

PARCEL NO. 5: Lands and premises owned by Alan Ray. PARCEL N Q . 7 : Lands and premises owned by Keith and Patricia Weaver. PARCEL N O . 8: Lands and premises owned by Robert and Diane Williams. and so much of such lands and premises will be sold at public auc tion at the T O W N CLERK OFFICE of the Town of H untington on the 10th day of April, 1997 at 10:00 a.m., as shall be requisite to discharge such taxes with costs, unless previously paid. DATED at Richmond, Vermont this 4th day o f March, 1997. Matthew J. Buckley, Esq. Attorney for Brent Lamoureux, Tax Collector for the Town of Huntington

and clearly identifiable service or delivery vehicles on any street d es-, ignated as “residential parking.” (a) through (d) As written. (e) Specific criteria for this sec tion is as follows: (1) Proof o f residency. The police departm ent shall issue resi dential zone stickers for vehicles owned by residents o f the designat ed street pr section <?f StreetResidents o f corner parcels abutting a street or section o f street designat ed as resident parking shall also be entitled to a sticker. All such stick ers shall be color-coded for identifi cation purposes. Proof o f residency shall include a valid Vermont dri ver’s license with an address on the designated street, section o f street or abutting corner parcel and a valid Vermont registration for the vehicle(s) involved,. [and] F[f]or students, proof o f residency shall include a valid current student identification card, a valid driver’s license, registration from Vermont or another state and proof o f resi dency on the designated street, sect.ipn. p f i tt££USLab-Uiling corner parcel.

(1) - (112) As Written. (113) East [Street]

The space in front o f 88

(113) T he space in front o f 88 East Avenue. [(1) - (113) As Written.] (114) T he space in front o f 33 N orth Avenue. [(1) - (114) As Written.] (115) The space in front o f 25 Lyman Avenue. [(1) - (115) As Written.] Adopted the 6th day o f November, 1996 by the Board o f Public Works Commissioners. Attest Frederick Matthews Traffic Division Adopted 11/6/96: Published 2/12/97: Effective 3/5/97

Adopted this 8th day o f May, 1996 by the Board o f Public Works Commissioners. Attest Norm Baldwin Traffic Division Adopted 5/8/96; Published 3/26/97; Effective 4/16/97

The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of Burlington’s Code of Ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations:

Material in [bracket] delete. Material undgrlinod add.

No person shall park any vehicle except vehicles with a valid resident parking permit or a valid guest pass

No person shall park any vehi cles at any time in the following locations, except automobiles dis playing special handicapped license plates pursuant to 18 V.SA. 1325, or any am m endm ent or renumber ing thereof:

Material in [Brackets] Delete. Material underlined add.

(2) through (9) As written.

CITY OF BURLINGTON TRAFFIC REGULATIONS

Sec. 27. No parking except with residential parking permit.

nated.

CITY OF BURLINGTON TRAFFIC REGULATIONS The following items are enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City o f Burlington’s Code o f Ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations: Sec. 7A. Handicapped spaces desig

PERSON < TO > PERSON

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A = Asian, B = Black, Bi=Bisexual, C = Christian, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, J = Jewish, M = Male, ND = No Drugs, NS = Non-Smoking, NA = No Alcohol, P= Professional, S = Single, W = White, Wi = Widowed.

WOMEN SEEKING MEN CORPORATE OFFICLANADO BY day, earth goddess by night. I’m a 32 YO SWF ISO a man of many passions who wants to come over and play house with me. 64567 SUBMISSIVE F, 48, NEEDS DOM I NATE male. Me: average height & looks, 230 lbs. You: D/S okay, color unimportant. No ropes or chains. Attitude (bad) is important. 64559 SWPF, 35, ATHLETIC, WELL educated, well travelled, seeks bright, dynamic SWPM, 35-45, w/ similar background. You are an avid skier, sailor and fly fish erman who loves living in Vermont and escaping occasionally (NYC, Rockies, Caribbean) for LTR with friendship first. 64569 INTENSE, SEXY GODDESS SEEKS a sleazy - hip - deep guy who likes to DANCE. 64571 HONEST & SINCERE DWPF, 41, 5’4”, physically fit, enjoys positive think ing, rock, jazz, scenic rides & sunsets, ISO D/SPM, 35-48, financially & emo tionally secure, 5’10” +. 64540 BIKINI CLAD, HARD BODY, striking, petite, blonde, professional woman seek ing professional, financially secure M, 40-50, for workouts, dancing, sailing, sports, cultural events and FUN! 64543 SHARE T H E MAGIC OF LOVE, laughter and adventure with robust, blonde, blue-eyed SWF, 52, who knows how to make you feel loved and cher-

mar . c h

26,-

1997

ished. Seeking NS, youthful, tallish WM, 42-56, who is humorous, spontaneous, imaginative and adventurous, for a life time of cuddling, kissing and romance. 64556 IN CENTRAL VERMONT: fine food, fine art, fitness, frolic and fun w/ felici tous F, 39. Be fabulous first to respond to final call for S/DPM, 35-45. Friendship first. No fiends, fatuous fetishes or feudal old farts. 64558 PLAY POOL? Petite, adventurous, funloving SWF, 36, ISO poolshark w/ sense of humor & intelligence to teach me the game. Must not mind smoke-filled bars or bad jukebox music. I’ll supply the quarters. 64487 CALLING ALL FOOLS! This iFno joke. We call male folk to gather April one for an evening of fun. We are women of independent means, intelli gent, articulate, with outstanding genes. Be 40-50, honest and sincere, men of quality, looking for cheer. 64496 I’M AT TH E DATING GAME WAIT ING for you to walk through the door. Where are U? What? You’re tall, attrac tive, with nice lips? Yes!! 64520 WANTED: 3 B{S. Attractive, 5’5” SNSP ISO a gentleman taller than me w/ brains (professional), body and blonde (well, that’s optional). I’m financially indepen dent, very assertive & competitive. Looking for similar. Likes: skiing, motor cycling, working out & playing. Late 20 s through early 40’s, please. 64494 SEEKING A PARTNER. ATTRAC TIVE SPF, 35, 5’8”, seeks intelligent and fit SPM, 35-45, who likes smart women. Love of art and literature a big +. 64521 I’M LOOKING FOR A TALL, ODDLY shaped man. One who doesn’t smoke, but loves long, adventurous journeys, unexplored destinations, book smart and fun loving. 64522 IMPORTANT THINGS: compassion, honesty, intelligence, friendship, growth, belly laughs. Cool stuff: sunshine, skiing, hiking, travel, reading, music, spicy food. Active SWPF, 30, seeks SPM, 28-34, NS/ND, to explore possibilities for rela tionship. 64499 RATHER SOAR W / TH E EAGLES than buzz w/ the mosquitos? Fly w/ me! Genuine SPF, 30s, intelligent mind, warm heart, caring soul, physically attractive/fit. 64518

COMPANIONSHIP. FULL-FIGURED F seeking companion, 35-55, who’s financially/emotionally secure; seeking quality time, intellect, honesty, travel, LTR. 64492 DWPF, 47, NS, ISO ROMANTIC gentlemen for friendship, love and laughter. Enjoy Montreal, traveling, sight-seeing, dancing, arts, photography & dining out. 64461 INDEPENDENT, UNPREDICTABLE, mysterious. 64469 SKI NOW, WORK LATER. PDWF, 43, 5’8”, blue-green eyes, blonde hair, look ing for avid ski partner through rain, sleet, snow. Love outdoors, movies, din ing out, travelling, laughing. Looking for financially secure, funny, honest, goodlooking M (3 out of 4 O.K., too). 64481 2 SWF’S, 21 & 23, SHORT, BUXOM, red-heads seek 2 smart, funny, openminded and independent SWM’s. Must enjoy hiking, camping, strong coffee, good brew, and free-form jams a must. Anti-smokers, freeloaders and game play ers need not apply. 64482 TALL, TALENTED, LONG WALKS with man’s best friend, all natural, love to wrestle, slender, yoga on the side, silver smith by trade. No games allowed. 64471 YODA SEEKS YODEE FOR GALACtic treasures. Remember the bar scene? We would recognize each other: think Farrah Fawcett. 64470 SWF, 29, SEEKING PARTNER FOR future relationship, everlasting happiness. Non-jealous, exciting, romantic. 64463 GORGEOUS, MARRIED, LATE 30’S F, into platform shoes, desires younger, preferably long-haired, witty, literary, handsome M for sexy fun. My husband’s fine w/ this. 64464 ALL LIFE’S ADVENTURES, GREAT & small. Attractive SWPF, passionate for life, laughter, music & the outdoors, ISO similar, active, upbeat, warm-hearted S/DWM best pal and co-adventurer, 3547, NS/ND, who appreciates simple pleasures, the humor in most situations, and an intelligent woman. 64441 SWF, 22, 5’3 , ATTRACTIVE, W ITTY and vivacious, seeking attractive, sensi tive, funny, spontaneous M. Please enclose photo. 64451

SEVEH DAYS

YOUR PACE OR MINE? SWNSPF, 39, serious tri-athlete in central VT seeking training partner/companion for fun, inspiration, adventure, travel & frequent partaking of food, coffee and beer. No body builders/armchair athletes. 64447 HI, I AM AN ATTRACTIVE 27 YO SWNSF. I am outgoing, honest, downto-earth, fun and passionate about life! I love travel, adventure, cooking, running and anything outdoors. Are you 27-35, SNSM, happy, handsome, healthy and interested? Take a chance! 64448 TALL, VOLUPTUOUS BLONDE, 43 (looks young), cat lover, outgoing. Interests: fine dining, wine, movies, Mexican/Chinese food. Good upbring ing, neat, clean, ND, no DWI. 64444 MORE HEART THAN BRAIN (though no slouch in that department, either). SWF, 33, w/ wide range of inter ests (“Go” to rock climbing) seeks NSM, 30-45, to feed & cuddle. Humor, intelli gence, gentle soul, strength w/o violence are what I seek. Kids? Pets? The more the merrier. 64442 LIKE ZORA NEALE HURSTON said, “You got to go there to know there.” I don’t want to go there alone. F, 25, seeks literate, athletic M to join me. 64414 NEED A TEDDY BEAR? READY TO cuddle? Blonde/blue SWF, 18, ISO SWM, 18-23, who loves to cuddle. NA/ND a MUST! Downhill skiing, reading, going to clubs are mine. What are yours? Photo a plus. 64431 OUTGOING, FUN, INTELLIGENT, attractive, professional SWF, NS, ND, NA, seeks the same qualities in a SPM, 27-33. I am a happy, secure, motivated, positive thinker who enjoys movies, plays, dinners, music, exercise, taking classes and just loving life! Nothing is by chance. 64425 CENTRAL VERMONT. NS SWF, 31, attractive, intelligent, honest, optimistic, seeks NS SWM, 30’s, w/ similar traits. We enjoy: laughter, nature, kids, books, conversation, arts, real moments. 64427 NMSMPODOSWF ISO NM PODOSCLMTDLPM just to hang out w/... maybe more. No hippies, please. 64293 WOMAN, 23, WANTS A DOOMY black/death metal, long haired, clean, good looking, intelligent, career oriented WM who’s willing to travel. 64421

HARDY SOUL WANTED! Matchmaker seeks humanitarian & spiri tually oriented husband for her discrimi nating friend. She is youthful, vivacious, 44, beautiful, creative, honest & intu itive. You must be confident, compas sionate, loyal & successful w/ a strong solid physique & a generous nature. Be prepared for an exciting, harmonious & productive life together! 64297 NEXT STOP - HUMANE SOCIETY. I’m settled down, but not slowed down. At 41, adventure is the right book, a road » trip, woods exploration, city life, various cultural consumptions, staying healthy, painting, music, socializing & solitude. No drugs or big drinkers. Sense of humor important! 64407 INDEPENDENT, SLENDER, FIT, secure, active, attractive, happy woman finds delight in: my son, daily exercise, cooking, bookstores, music, candlelight, laughter. ISO M, 38-50, w/ ability to enhance my interests w/ his own, a cre ative sense of humor, playful spirit & emotional freedom. 64296 N O MORE TOAD KISSING FOR ME. SWPF, 28, brown hair, blue eyes, pretty, humorous/spontaneous, ISO prince who treats a lady like a lady. Photo. 64273 SWF, 32, PRETTY, INTERESTING, sexy and fun, seeking a WM, 27-35. Must be educated, cultured, strong and handsome. 64279 WF SEEKS HARD-WORKING, NA, NS, ND, non-abusive, XXL size man, 30-45, to grow old with. Must be good w/ kids & animals. 64281 NS, ATHLETIC, BOLD, “BEAUTY IS in the eye of the beholder” (my friends told me to write that). Seeking active, humorous, 30 + babe! 64275 OLD-FASHIONED GIRL W / OLD fashioned values. DWF, 42, petite, attrac tive, great sense of humor, loves to dance, long walks, sunsets & romance. I’m look ing for an honest, loving relationship w/ a man who is not afraid of commitment, and has a zest for life. 64278 NS, SARCASTIC, WITTY, SINGLE mom seeking decent, 40 +, music and animal loving wise-ass (no duh!). Friends first, more later. 64277

Continued <mpage 34

___.

PERSON < TO > PERSON Continuedfrom page 33 GOOD THINGS COME IN SMALL packages. SWPF, 30s, NS/ND, petite, physically fit/active, educated, creative, enjoys the outdoors, music, cultural events and the finer things in life... like a SWPM, 30s, NS/ND, w/ same interests, physically fit/active, well educated, likes kids, respectful, trusting, caring. 64258

MEN SEEKING W OM EN 25 YO, 5T 1”, 155 LBS. PROFES SIONAL seeking fun times. Give me a call if you’re 18-30. 64563 ONCE, AND FOR ALL TIME, search ing for the love of a lifetime. SWM, 35, 6’, 175 lbs., attractive, fit, educated, NS executive, affectionate, devoted. Central VT. 64565 LAST ONE LEFT. WARM, W ON DERFUL, wild and willing, tall, outgo ing, handsome, fun to be with kinda guy wants the best woman in VT to step up and take my hand. Be brave, be attrac tive, be real, be 28-45. 64566_________

YOU: WILD, TALL, LONG LEGS and luscious, full lips. Me: handsome and a very suave dude. Lets meet! 64524 INTO HYPNOTISM? ... K - COME into your own and let both of us capture the moments —so let down your guard and let us both be hypnotized > (equal to or greater than) so much better than being stuck in the middle of the road (all alone) -- k! 64509 SPM SEEKS LTR. OFFERING KINDness and understanding. I am fit, active and intellectually curious. You are 25-40 w/ similar qualities and feminine. 64510 CO-CONSPIRATOR/COLLABORATOR wanted. DWM, 41, active and ath letic, yet cultured and spiritual. Varied interests include kayaking, running, hors es, sailing, the written page, the big screen. Travel on an Irish passport. Fulfilled by work, but not a workaholic. Occasionally still climbs trees. Ever the romantic with unscarred heart and gently sarcastic humor. Looking to conspire, collaborate and play with a thoughtful, financially stable, at least college-educat ed woman with sense of purpose and sense of humor. 64490

W ILL T H E REAL PERSO N PLEASE

stand up? I’m a SWM, 31, tall, attractive, professional, high IQ, creative, genuine, believe relationship is the key to happi ness. If you’re 25-30 and believe in des tiny, mutuality, friendship, total intimacy and true connection, please respond. 64570 _____ MENSCH, KIND, SUPER-UNCLE, 40 years young, 5’5”, NS/ND SWM. World citizen and traveler looking for the special woman to grow together and play, laugh and cry together. All replies answered. 64544 TO KNOW ME IS TO WANT TO know me better. Imaginative, kind, humorous dog lover is waiting to join you for walks into Spring. 64552 SWM, 27, SEEKS SNOWBOARDER, Phish-head, taker of massive doses of X. Age, weight, bra size doesn’t matter. 64547 I REALLY NEED A DATE! Young, pro fessional M, 38, blah, blah, blah. I thought girls just wanna have fun! 64553 WHAT WOULD IT BE LIKE TO feel deep connection and passion, sharing love of outdoors and culture? Good look ing, in shape SWPM seeks similar SWF, 26-36. 64555 LIFE IS A HIGHWAY. Would you like to explore life’s adventures w/ an ener getic, honest, caring, optimistic, athletic, secure, humorous lovebug. NSSWM, 37, desires fun, attractive, petite SWF 28-42, to share life’s magic together. 64557 DNSM, 6’3”, BLUE EYES, ATHLET IC, loves cooking & outdoor pursuits, ISO SF NS/ND, 25-37, who wants a good friend and more. Lets enjoy life’s adventures. 64491 WIDE-EYED, SWEET, VORACIOUS lover of life seeks mate of depth & reso nance willing to go beyond fear. SWM, 37, interests: extraordinary health, Tao, music, Tipis, outdoors, passion beyond passion, my dog. 64497 ISO YOUNG, BEAUTIFUL, MILTON girl (oxymoron?) with all her teeth (fan tasy?), rich (owns trailer), athletic (cow tipping), enjoys games (cow-pie bingo), fashionable (flannel) and independent (works). 64525 OUTDOORS ENTHUSIAST. SWM, 27, 6 ’, 170 lbs., physically active, sincere, romantic, enjoys travel, sunsets, laughter. ISO SWF, 22-35, petite, athletic, adven turous nature lover. 64508 EXTRAORDINARY RELATIONSHIP sought by intelligent, creative, romantic, handsome man w/ integrity loving life, expressing feelings easily and emotionally available. I’m genuine, affectionate, enjoy conversing, have plenty of humor, too. I love skiing, movies, music, traveling. Seeking happy, fit, responsible F, 30-45, with brains, heart, esteem, smiles. 64501 SWM, 34, VERY ATHLETIC, ENJOYS skiing, skinny-dipping and most other outdoor sports, seeks SWPF Should be easy-going and down to earth. 64523

page *

34 -> y ' t >4

P erson al o f t h e W eek w om en s e e k i n g men

C O R P O R A TE O FFICIA N A D O by clay, earth goddess by night. I’m a 32 YO SWF ISO a man of many passions who wants to come over and play house with me.

64567 l'i I'm null ill llu u i i r, wins llllllUT tor two tit

Coyotes Tex-Hex Cafe 161 Church St.. Burlington 865-3632

I’M LOOKING FOR A F who can boo gie. I mean really get down. 64514 GOOD GUY LOOKING FOR GOOD woman. Hey, stranger things have hap pened. SWNSM, 31, seeking roughly the same in a female version. 64535 BUBBLE BATH, WINE, MASSAGE, dinner? If you’re under 40 and not over weight, call. I’m 510 ”, 170 lbs. and need you to spoil. LTR possible. 64536 VT COWBOY, 40’S, DWM, NS/ND, hardworking, fit, handsome, down-toearth, seeks attractive, fit, romantic WNSND cowgirl to ride the range with. No couch potatoes. 64531 PART-TIME GROWN-UP W HO YELLS “MOVIE” IN A FIREHOUSE!. Muscular, world traveler, handsome, 32 going on 27, NSSWPM seeks attractive, active, intelligent, fiesty garlic-loving SWPF, 27-35. Lively conversation and laughs are guaranteed! 64512__________ FUN! ROLE PLAYING. Domination/ submission, women’s shoe worship, escort. Me: well-groomed, trustworthy, tall, dark, non-short hair, university grad., 39. You: 18+. Coffee? Correspond? Whatever! Please! 64537 BORED? LONELY? 25 YO, SLIM, attractive SWM seeks exciting encounters (day or night) with older (35+) F. Size/ shape/race unimportant. Discretion assured. Call! 64533

LOOKING FOR F W HO WORKS and likes to cuddle, is romantic and takes relationships seriously. Hobbies: camp ing, movies, dining out and romantic evenings. 64530 SWM ISO M/SF FOR SEXUAL meeting and possibly more. 64513_____' SWM, 24, SEEKING SOMEONE TO share fun times. Looking for SF, 18-25. Please, no head games or emotional baggage. 64517________________________ SLIGHTLY CYNICAL, AMBITIOUS, active SWM is ISO athletic, attractive, motivated SWF, 21-27, to partake in new adventures in life and stuff. 64495 SWM, 22, SEEKING FUN! Likes to go out and quiet nights; likes to ride on motorcycles. Please, no head games, just fun. 64519 LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO GO out and have a good time with. If you are 29-35 and sick of the same old stuff. Let’s meet. 64516 DWM, 29, ISO PETITE WOMAN, 25-30’s, who likes the outdoors, dining, movies, dancing, traveling and having a good time. 64466 GOOD-LOOKING SM, 30, LOOK ING for NS, fit F, 20-30, who likes movies, dinner, long walks, skiing, pool and holding hands. 64473 DIVERSE SWPNSM, 34, ATHLETIC, rugged, gentle, sublime, passionate, transpersonal, attractive, romantic, prac tical, responsible, idealistic, spiritual, independent, adventurous, secure, intu itive, solitary, content, visceral, magnetic. 64474 DEAR LOVE, I KNOW YOU ARE there, and will be reading this. I have made a place for you. M, 45, Zen/ Christian/Native American. 64484 I COOK & CLEAN, WHY NOT ME? WM, 47, in very good shape, dark hair, blue eyes, wanting to hold hands, walk, cuddle, romantic candle-light dinners, sexy nights alone. 64439 SWM, 41, BLONDE/BLUE, BEARD, 6’— loves outdoors, boating, fishing, camping, cooking, cuddling— seeks F 25-35, for love, marriage & children; the good life. 64457 THE WORLD IS A FUNNY PLACE if you let it be, whether you like to talk a little or a lot. SJM, 41, fit, fun. 64459 JUST WAITING FOR A S/DWF, 3040, who recognizes talents and great qualities of a DWM, 40, who enjoys life to the fullest. 64460' SPM, NS, A VERY YOUNG 39, 5’11”, 175 lbs., very handsome, athletic & fit, sensitive, kind and honest, emotionally &C financially secure; a dynamic personal ity, free spirited and adventurous lifestyle. Seeking slim, attractive, creative lover of life, 26-45, NS. 64449 21 YO SWM, TALL, DARK, BLUE eyes, UVM student looking fun, intelli gent, spontaneous, attractive F. Age is not an issue. 64453 DWM, 30’S, ATTRACTIVE AND hardbodied, medium tall, intelligent, seeks similar, attractive F for skiing/snowboarding, laughing, good food, kinky sex and casual light-hearted fun - no strings. 1 am mature, responsible and I can give as good as (and better than) I get. So call, you won’t be sorry. 64450 DOWNRIGHT NUTTY SM SEEKS F companion. Interests include coffee, mafia movies, pornography, driving naked, irony, alien memorabilia. Drunks encouraged. 64443 ONE CALLAWAY. DWM, 33, SMOK ER, seeks a petite woman, 24-40, look ing for a kind, caring LTR w/ a very nice guy with many interests. Love kids. 64440 HEY YOU! LET’S MAKE SOME music. Let me play you like a finely tuned instrument, preferably like the drums. 64456 QUEST FOR THE RED HAIRED girl. NSDWPM, 40, shy teddy bear, romantic and fun, hoping to meet a passionate, exciting F, 30-42, for possible LTR. 64446 SWNSP, 2 7 ,1 AM FAMILY ORIENT ED, honest, athletic, light-hearted, focused and creative. You: caring, intelli gent and focused. Let’s spend some quali ty time together. 64436 BLUE EYED, TALL SWM, 41, SEEK ING F who likes outdoor activities (such as hiking & alien watching) and movies. Please, no Hillary Clinton look-alikes. 64437 BUXOM BLONDE, BRUNETTE, etc., 24-30, who loves cooking, cleaning, leather, passion, sex and adventure, child bearing, sports, houseminding, and dom inating & servicing a successful, good looking, straight-up guy. Can you see through this? Letters appreciated. 64434 LOVE IS ASKING TO BE LOVED. 5’8”, 145 lbs., youthful 40’s, somewhat professional, likes laughing, natuie, pho tography, travel, hiking & sunsets. Let’s share good times together. 64412

Sfy.E.N DAYS, $•'»* »•

EARTHY NATURALIST. DWM, 41, intellectual, smoker, seeks witty, submis sive, young moon maiden to explore the secrets of love, lust and life. 64418 ___ SWPM, 27, ARTIST, HANDSOME, educated, well travelled & laughed, new to VT, ISO S/DF, intelligent, beautiful (inside & out), who knows what she wants out of life and is able to smile about it. 64429 I’M 5’8”, 175 LBS., BROWN HAIR & eyes; enjoy all winter/summer sports. ISO beautiful redhead, sophisticated, intelligent, individual. Call me & let’s do coffee, tea, hot cocoa, lunch. 64423 DEFINITELY DW DAD W / OPEN heart, gentle laugh, long arms, cold nose and extra fly rod ISO DW Head Roper w/ tender eyes, loving smile, poetic demeanor and a clear and trusting heart. Dining room table not required. 64430 SPRING IS IN THE AIR! If you are a young F interested in outdoor and indoor activities, please respond to this ad!64428 DWPM, 43, HUMOROUS, SET TLED, balanced, un-needy, ISO SWF, 35-45, for friendship, maybe more. Kids are cool, head games are not. If you know who you are, respond. 64433 TALL, FIT, ACCOMPLISHED, DWP gentleman, 40. Recent NY transplant w/ a great sense of humor loves VT life. I’m into gardening, bowling and exercise. Seeking a petite woman w/ similar inter ests, and who likes to be treated like a woman! No time for games, thanks! 64424 NO BULL. SWM, 37, ATTRACTIVE, professional, honest, fun to be with and positive thinking, seeks SWF, 26-36, attractive, as comfortable in as well as out of town, to spend time with. Prefer NS. Must like kids and love to laugh. 64420 SWM, 30ISH, ISO TALL, PETITE, slim F, 18-28. Race unimportant. Must sensuously grace a swimsuit. Model wannabe/shouldabeen. Photos, phone calls, dates. 64417 FEMINIST DWM, 48, AVID RUN NER, fit, authentic, seeks a woman of strong character who shares my value of daily physical activity, humor and a sim ple lifestyle. 64416 HANDSOME, DYNAMIC, SUCCESS FUL SWPM, 40, 5’6” (fabulous shape), awaits one earthy, discriminating, roman tic, intricately special lady, 28+, possess ing uniqueblend Of brains, braiding 8£ beauty. 64294 SWM, 21, SEEKS SF, 18-27. I SKI, snowboard, mtn bike, etc., seeks F for same. Must be level-headed, outgoing and adventurous. 64402 PROSPEROUS, INVENTIVE lawyer & nerd seeks bright & beautiful, tall NSWPF born in the 50’s to share life, nature, reading, snowshoes, x-c skiing, festivals, theatre & heartfelt intimacy. Foibles accepted if love manifests. 64406 T h is may s o u n d s t r a n g e , b u t here goes... SWM, 29, funny, intelligent, good-looking, gentle guy seeking SF, 1835, for physical companionship. I’m not a jerk, or weird, I’m just rebounding & don’t want anything serious, but do want to have some fun. Maybe you’re rebounding, too? Or just don’t want any strings right now either. 64408 SWM, 38, SMOKER, PROFESSION AL, art, passion, line & form, NYC, desire, sweat, focused, flawed, funny, lean, seeks attractive, like-minded F w/ sharp eye and edge for LTR. 64298 FRINGE BENEFITS: health club membership, free ski pass, homebrewed beer, nature walks, culinary crafts, four-wheel drive and idyllic country home are all included w/ this tall, well-seasoned, gen uine 26 YO. Only serious, honest, pas sionate, free-spirited and beautiful women need inquire. 64409 ATTRACTIVE, CHARISMATIC, M, 32, just out of LTR, seeking attractive F for intense, creative encounters. 64410 MARRIED WM, 39, W H O ENJOYS sex & believes variety is the spice of life, ISO like minded F for fun. Discreet, no strings. 64295 YOUNG PROFESSOR, SWM, NS, 33, 150lbs., attractive, athletic. Fun-loving historian seeks LTR w/ attractive, profes sional F. No vegetarian crunchies or single parent divorcees, please. 64292 ENERGETIC WM, 38, 5’10”, physically fit, looking for natural, semi-attractive lady, 28-45, who enjoys outdoor activi ties & having fun. 64286 WM, 45, ATTRACTIVE, SENSITIVE, caring, varied interests, seeking F, 25-45, to trade smiles, share feelings and experience some good times with. 64284 LONE WOLF ON THE PROWL. DWM, 28, seeks passionate she-wolf, 2035, for frolic in snow. Need to be athletic and howl at the moon. 64280 POLKADOT EYES, 2 FEET, ONE nose. NSM, 25, 5’7 ”, 120 lbs., a body enjoying this life-dance; a being on fire -let’s share ours, or just patty-cake. 64282

►

Love . coumsdch

A Dear Lola, I’m writing tjrcm prison where I'm sup posed to be for the rest of my life. I was con victed of murder at the age of 19. My chances for parole are slim. Someone sent me a copy ct SCVCNDAyS and I was amazed by your column and the personal ads. I can’t believe all the lonely people in the world. At least they have a chance at love, I’m damned to be alone tcrever. How can I live like this? Lccked-up in Leavenworth Dear Locked, Plenty ct people live without love — whether through circumstance or choice. We may be free to love, but it isn’t a right. Considering the situation, you’re going to have to pursue the agape variation instead ct the ercs. It’s not sharing body fluids that gives the most satisfac tion in a relationship, it’s sharing yourself, you can give from the confines of your, uh, confines by writing your story. Tell others what you’ve learned from the tragedy. Help other inmates through their sorrow. Organize redding and support groups. It seems to me that you could turn your sentence into a lifetime of love. Love,

jjola

W o n t to loin [c/o SO T DflS, P.0. 801 lify 29 Church Street] Burlington, VT 05402. march

26,

1997

PERSON < TO > PERSON SWM, 18, SEEKS SWF, 18-20, W HO enjoys skiing, hiking, romantic evenings outdoors & a great time. Well, 1 may be the one for you!! 64283 LOVING, FINANCIALLY SECURE, NSWPM, 42, 5’10”, looking for a skiing partner or outdoor enthusiast, 30-45, for a fun, playful relationship. Love of ani mals a +.64265 ATTRACTIVE, FIT, 6’3”, 200LBS., looking for intelligent, athletic girl (3540) who likes sailing, skiing, tennis, water sports, live music, travel & kids. 64276 DWM, 42, PROFESSIONAL, attrac tive, looking to meet a slim, active, down to earth woman w/ a sense of humor. Central VT. All responses answered. 64269 ISO SF SN0WBOARDER w / n o interest in children for riding on Sun. & Mon., Tuckerman’s for mud season, rock climbing & single-track biking as sum mer permits. Me: 32, SWM, winter bearded snowboard patroller, 5’9", leader, slow, but tech, biker. 64272 NICE GUY, 42, LOOKING FOR attractive, nice girl w/ sense of humor to develop relationship & lots of fun with. Take a chance. 64266 LIGHT UP YOUR LIFE! Honest SWPM, 30s, energetic, active, entertain ing, humorous 8c physically fit, seeking D/SWF to share skiing, hiking, Montreal, gourmet cooking, dining out, travel, companionship & meaningful conversation. Friendship first! 64271 GOOD MAN: 40, KIND, LOVING, spiritual, very musical, handy, fit & good looking DWM seeks great lady who is easy-going, fun, pretty; who I can make laugh and keep happy. 64259 DRUG OF CHOICE: FRENCH ROAST. Other addictions: film, baseball, garlic, jazz. Athletic, but literate SWM, 28, seeks attractive, dynamic, fit SF to explore with. 64253______________ SENSITIVE MALE. SPM, emotionally & financially secure, honest 8c caring, very active & fit; loves to cook, travel, dance, attractive inside 8c out ISO SPF, over 30, sensitive, attractive, fit, no fear. Race unimportant. 64256

BRUISED, BUT N OT BROKEN. Healed, but not whole. 2 years now, still missing something... YOU. SWPM, 5’9” 185lbs., no offspring, no alimony, ISO SWF, honest, attractive, fun to be with. Skier a plus, or wants to learn. 64257

W OM EN SEEKING WOMEN F TO F, 18, MIDNIGHT-BLACK HAIR, 5’6”, 115 lbs., loves poetry, danc ing, music, etc. Looking for same. Age 18-25 preferred. Hope you love to walk on the wild side. 64488 VERY RELIGIOUS, LOVING LES BIAN ISO sister seeker. I’m gorgeous, vibrant, alive in my body. You’re proud, free, mentally healthy. Let’s sing, hike, weave beauty together. 64498 GF ISO G/BiF. INTERESTS INCLUDE: writings of Califia and Oakgrove, motorcycles, moonlight, good food and quick wit. ND, no men. Come ride w/ me. 64467 GWF, EASYGOING, KIND-HEART ED and sincere, seeks honest, fun-loving relationship w/ someone who likes the outdoors. Love many activities; have toys: snowmobile, go-carts, boat, etc Let’s enjoy ourselves in Central VT. 5’5”, 150 lbs., brown hair 8c eyes. 64486 FOR SERIOUS PERSON... LIFE IS TOO short for games. Sports watcher, fishing lover. GBF, 62, NS, ND. 64483 SWGF, 30’S, PROFESSIONAL, LOOKING for someone to laugh, have fun, and be spontaneous with, but seri ous enough for a relationship w/ lots of love, companionship and warmth. Please write. 64479 MARRIED BiF SEEKING HONEST, caring, fun, passionate woman. Will give same. Interests: dancing, weight lifting, reading. NO threesomes, please. Dare to be yourself. Call me. 64477 BiWF, 20, COLLEGE STUDENT, political activist, seeks a woman to hold her hand & her heart. 64261

GWM, 50, FRANKLIN-LAMOILLE county, seeks Bi/GM for evening & weekend fun. JSC students very welcome. Must be clean, discreet. 64438 LOOKING FOR an adventurous soulmate to meet exciting, new challenges at my side. Come hike w/ me! 64455 SUBMISSIVE SEEKS SERIOUS MAS TER. GWM, 47, novice, open to all dis ciplines, begs your kind indulgence, Sir, to help expand limits in areas you deem necessary. 64415 SUNSETS AND SHOOTING STARS. GM, 37, artist/student, good looking, NS, I65lbs. Interests: spirituality, litera ture, foreign films, nature & hiking. Seeking same, 28-48. 64419 GAY MAN “STEEPS FOR LOVE”... SO don’t hold back, and also try to get geared up, because I’m the treasure and it’s Valentine’s Day - k! 64287 20 YO M SITTING BY TH E W IN DOW, reading Annie Dillard, Sarah Schulman and Adrienne Rich; into social ecology, writing, walking, linguistics, bread. Discreetness is evil. 64290 ATTRACTIVE BiWM, 37, TRIM, tired of the talk, wanting sensual action now. No relationship, just fun & frolic. You: under 40, trim, playful, yet discreet and intelligent. 64291 BiWM, 39, 6*1”, ALL AMERICAN GUY ISO some good hot fun. Discreet, no strings, just fun. 64268

MEN SEEKING MEN BiWM, 36, CURIOUS, ISO GOODlooker, 18-26, for friendship, travel and more. Discreet, clean fun, no strings, but much to offer. 64561 GWPM, 30*S, FRENCH/ITALIAN, 5’9”, 220 lbs., smoker, masculine, pas sive, clean, safe, discreet. Ethnicity/race unimportant. Seeking Bi or curious dominant males. No strings attached. 64562 GWM, 37, LOOKS LIKE motorcycle gangster, actually very gentle, looking for younger guy; conversation, friendship first; feminine fine. Be yourself, not lone ly! Leave message/number. 64564 QUIET, CULTURED, MATURE, Sagittarian ISO presentable, intellectually capable, younger archer for... ever. 64542 WANT TO MEET YOU. GWM, 52, looking for SGM my age or older for friendship and more. Let’s spend some time together. 64545 WM, 20’S, SEEKS OTHER MALES, 18-35, for bedroom activities. No chubbies. 64502 GWM, 30, BURT REYNOLDS LOOK, seeking fun & friendship w/ no strings attached. I’m in a open relationship. You: clean, safe, masculine. Seeking pre ferably bottoms. 64507 BiAM, 26, 5’6”, 125 LBS., EDUCATED, good looking, seeks B/WM for dis creet, good time. Must be clean. 64532 SWBiM, EARLY 30’S, 150LBS., 5’10”, good looking, thin build, ISO someone similar for intimate encounters, not interested in relationships. 64465 BiWM, 42, VISITS BURLINGTON regularly, seeks other Bi/GWM’s, 18-45, for discreet, good times. Clean, honest, sincere only. 64485 BiWM, 33, ISO G/Bi, HAIRY FRIENDS to share discreet times. Must be clean, ND, and dominant. Me: 5’6”, 195 lbs., br/br. You: slim, 30-40, hairy a +. St. Albans area preferred, photo appre ciated, all answered. 64480 CAPE COD VACATION AVAILABLE Sept. ’97. Let’s plan now. Biking, swim ming, sailing, dancing, sunsets, seafood. What more could a sane person want?!? 64472

music, other sensual pleasures? If so, this 40 s bisexual couple w/ similar qualities would like to hear from you. 64503 LEARN YOUR ABCS. Answer Because Could Do Effortless F. Guess How? I: Male. Just Kiss, Love Me Now Or Persuade, Quiver & Reflect Sex. Thunderstruck. U: F, Vexing, Want Xrated. Y? Z answer is with you. 64505 M/S/DF, 20-35? 30 YO M AVAILABLE for flexible rendezvous of adult fun, frolic and fetish. Weight proportionate to height. Photo appreciated & discretion absolutely assured. 64435

HAPPY FRIGGIN’ BIRTHDAY, KIM! Cherish that flask. Umm, that’s it. LINDA W / HOTRONICS. Chatted at Smuggs about the bootwarmers, etc. Wanted to continue, but your friend (?) arrived. Care to continue the conversa tion? 64560 YOU WERE AT T H E ANCHORAGE Inn w/ long, red hair and a VW bug w/ VT plates. We exchanged smiles, but I was too busy saving the world to buy you a cup of coffee. Silly me. I’ll make the time, you make the place. 64568 BOB OR BILL: THANKS FOR TH E video store memories! Call me the next time you two evil twins are in Burlington. 64546 YOU SERVED ME A JAMBALAYA pizza. The look you gave me was hotter than the pizza’s Cajuij spices. I was the one sweatin’ & starin’. 64548 YOU WERE WEARING A TUBBS hat at Club Metronome the other night. We did multiple shots of Beam. Call me for nights of Frombe. 64551 YOU: TALL, TH IN , LONNNGGG legs and hill lips. We collided at the mat tress store. We both liked the soft, springy ones. See you at Oz! 64528 3/11, 1 A.M., FIRE STATION parking lot after Metronome. Orange wool jack et, attractive. I want to meet you. I’m away 3/17-4/1. Hopefully intrigued. 64527

OTHER GAY MEN WANTED FOR STRONG, HEALTHY COMMUNITY. All ages, all types. HIV +/- doesn’t matter. Rural men encouraged. All replies get a quick response. 64541 NUDIST COUPLE WOULD like to meet other area nudist couples for friend ship, get togethers and summer fun. No sex, no drugs, smokers O.K. 64489 ATTRACTIVE SWM, HEALTHY, intelligent runner, 40’s, seeking sensitive couple(s) for extended, alternative LTR. 64534 HAVE YOU EXPLORED YOUR sexu ality & consider yourself sincerely bisexu al? Are you a F or M who’s in shape, intelligent, into healthy food, good

:> digit Dox numbers can D e contacted either through voice maii or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w S5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VI 05402

To respond to mailbox ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box# on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response and address to: PERSON TO PERSON do SEVEN DAYS, PO. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

SENSITIVE, FUNNY, LOVABLE, toueh, compassionate, 56 YO grandmother look ing for M companion. Must be healthy and enjoy TV, eating out, laughter, visiting fam ily. Looking for NS, ND, employed or retired. Box 122 WILD N’ BRAINY, BLONDE ---------LEGGY DWF, 41, passionate camper w/ mountain retreat, seeks tall, unpredictable cohort to add spice to the stew. BYO spoon. Box 125 sf, is, m a t u r e , e m o t io n a l l y and physically, looking for M who’s the same

(18-20). I love food, good movies & laugh ter. A little romance appreciated! Box 115 BETTER CHICKYOUR WATCH. A— friend says I’ve done it backwards: dog and house before partner. Nah, you’re just late. ISO 26-34 YO, playful, intelligent, similar. Box 118 DID YOU LOVE ROBERT BOSWELL’S Mystery Ride? I’m 46 YO and I’d like to talk. Box 110 SWF" 32, 5’2”, AUBURN/BLUE, buxom mother; M.A. Psychology, singer/songwriter/artist/intellectual; have mood disor der. ISO LTR w/ kind, compassionate, funny, bright man. Box 112

S.O.S. SWM, 32, 6’1”, seeks disaster relief. I'm flooded w/ lonely thoughts. Short of soul food. Send help A.SA..P. Will work for you. Box 120___________ A TO Z. Athletic, bilingual composer desires energetic female, genuinely hedo nistic I’m jocular, king-sized, lean, magmanimous, nicotine opposed, passionate.

Quest: relaxed senioress, tolerant, under standing, vibrant woman. Xpress your zipcode. Box 117 SECOND-SHIFT WORK MAKES IT hard to date; been too long since I’ve had a mate. You’re petite, between 30 & 50. Won’t we be nifty? Box 114 EARLY FIFTIES, LOOKS EARLY forties, SWM ISO F who’s never owned a computer, VCR or credit card, but has read Finnegans Wake, and wears long chambray dresses. Box 109 NS/NDPWM, ATHLETIC SECURE, handsome, kind, honest, sensuous, diverse, adventurous, independent, some flaws. Likes: sports, outdoors, travel, good beer, music. About you: similar interests, attractive, around 40. Box 107 BLACK & W H IT E WM seeking BF. No strings, discreet, clean 8c passionate. Any age, weight or situation. Daytime fun. Smokers welcome. Box 104 CTKETVTER, SWM, 49, well read, youthful, athletic, seeks an assertive, cultivated, domineering F, 50-65. Box 102 LIFE IS MUSIC (WIZN, BLUES); mountain aired thoughts; wanderlusting;

bowling. Bowling??? NS, 36, ISO Cowgirl in the Sand/Heart of Gold (’cause I’m growin’ old). Box 103

CENTRAL VT, MARRIED BiM, 37, slen der, in shape mountain man seeks humor ous BiM for friendship and wild times outdoors. Clean & discreet. Box 116________ SGM, 36, WOULD LIKE TO MEET MEN interested in the esoteric as well as the erotic. NS, vegetarian preferred; intelli gence, humor, independence and honesty appreciated. People tell me my eyes are compelling. Box 105 MARRIED BiWM, 38, ATTRACTIVE, well-built, seeking SBiWM. Imagine the possibilities. All letters will get a fast response. A photo is appreciated, but not necessary. Box 100

MARRIED, CURIOUS WF LOOKING for same or single BiF, 20’s, to share special moments. Love camping and beaches. Photo appreciated and discretion absolutely assured. Box 123 S If^ TOP & BOTTOM. DOMINANT WM, 40’s seeks slim, smooth men, under 25 YO. Bi/gay, any race, feminine okay. TV’s, TS’s, CD’s welcome. Be very submissive. Box 119 PROFESSIONAL WM, 40, A’lTRAC----TIVE, sincere and dean, welcomes a dis creet, masculine M who seeks meaningful, physical contact. I’m also a good listener. All replies answered. Box 121

COUPLES WANTED TO TRAVEL, dine out, shop, do stuff with and movies (home & walk-ins). For more info write. Box 115 WF, 26, ISO STRONG, HANDSOME M, 30-40 s, with sense of humor for roman tic and sensual friendship. No strings, dis cretion assured and expected. Box 113

Love in cyberspace. Point your web browser to http://www.wizn.com/7days.hfm to submit your message on-line.

Person to Pert on

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