Seven Days, April 3, 1996 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE 8 mMm Ki\r: P^iff SSiSS Curtes, Foiled Again ," ference in San Francisco that saiiMiami police arrested three cylates, a chemical cousin of suspects in the robbery of a groaspirin found in many artificial eery store after they pulled their flavors, could, like aspirin itself, guns and two of them shot each reduce the risk of heart attacks by other. Witnesses said the three ' . ' preventing blood clots. Feinleib gunmen ordered the clerks to the ' explained that the amount of salifloor and demanded that the cash :/ cylates in processed foods that register be opened. Jeanis Caty> people take in equals one chil18, started to reach over the io j ~— -i,,, drens aspirin a day, a dosage frecounter to quently recommended to ward off heart attacks in older - people. The researchers offered as "a plausible hypothesis" that an abrupt decline in heart disease starting in the mid-1960s coincided with ^ the widespread use of salicylates in artificial flavorings. Brain power doesn't diminish with old the money but accidentally fired . age, according to scientists using his gun, striking Wesley Steny, new imaging techniques who disSecond-Amendment 16, in the thigh. Surprised and in covered that brain shrinkage Follies pain, Steny tripped over clerk ; because of aging is relatively modAfter his application to carry Mariano Gonzalez, causing him est. "We used to think that you five semiautomatic handguns was to fire off a round that hit Caty in lost brain cells every day of your dented, emergency-room doctor the leg. Tve had robbers shoot ' ; life everywhere in the brain," said Jerald O'Brien argued his case all ; Marilyn Albert, a psychologist at themselves before," Detective the way to New York's highest Tom Pellechio of Miami's MetroMassachusetts General Hospital court. O'Brien, who already had a Dade police said, "but I never had «n Boston. "That's just not so." license to carry four of the 'two robbers shoot each other." weapons, told the licensing officer Home Sweet Leash Everything JOU Know Instead of returning Tonya who rejected his application that is Wrong Kline, a rebellious 15-year-old he wanted more guns because "it Artificial flavorings may actu- , with a history of delinquency, to a makes me feel better." Court of Columbia, South Carolina, deten Appeals Judge Carmen Ciparick ally be good for your health, tton center until her sentencing ruled that O'Brien couldn't according to researchers at the on charges of truancy, shoplifting demonstrate "a need, or much National Center for Health and breaking into a house, Family less, any reason" for carrying five Statistics. Lillian M. Ingster and Court Judge Wayne Creech on guns. Dr. Manning Feinleib told an Dec. 7 ordered her chained to her • American Heart Association con-

Just the

Another Day at Office When Denver postal clerk John Pitney, 50, reported for duty wearing a dress and exhibiting what authorities called "some bizarre behavior," he was escorred , out of the building. Apparently angry over his ejection, Pitney returned to the downtown mail facility twice, still wearing the dress but adding accessories, including a gorilla mask and something postal inspector John Freeman described as "a strap-on sexual device." Police were notified and arrested Pitney after finding several guns, including a high-powered rifle, two hunting knives and parts of a gorilla costume in his pickup truck.

the judge asked the state to mother, Deborah I farter, 24 arrange for a hired helper to hold hours a day. Tonya was instructed Tonya's leash. He ordered the to wear a traditional prisoners belt with wrist and ankle shackles. mother to pay $25 a month for the service. Finally, on Feb. 13> Harter was told to hold a metal Creech ordered Tonya placed in ring attached to the belt by a short chain and to accompany her state custody, saying her home daughter everywhere — except to was no place for her to be and that to return her there "is an the bathroom. A week after the invitation to disaster." two were tethered, Harter complained to reporters that she and eat the Friendly Skies her husband, Richard, weren't Pointing out that "not everyable to spend any time alone one thinks airline food is a joke," together or go out with friends. American said its reservation "This is a very stressful situation clerks were flooded with calls the judge has put me in," she from people seeking copies of its said. "I feel like I've got a sennew cookbook, which tells how to tence here as well." re-create the "subtle flavors and On Dec. 18, the judge said tantalizing aromas" of airline cuithe mother and daughter could sine in their own kitchens. switch from the leather belt and "Because some of our customers metal shackles to a nylon belt frequently request recipes so they with a strap and that Harter can prepare their in-flight could share responsibility for favorites at home, we asked our holding onto Tonya with her husexecutive chefs to adapt a few of band. On Dec. 20, Harter these new recipes" for smaller acknowledged that she was being portions, according to the preface charged with contempt of court to the airline's 18-page booklet of after being accused of.letting go recipes, "A Taste of Something of the tether and smoking a cigaSpecial." rette while accompanying her daughter to school. Harter denied the allegations, but admitted, The American Way "I'm having a hard time getting ' An ad in the journal of the adjusted to this." California Dental Association promises dentists who use On Jan. 9, Harter was rushed "Phasealloy," a brand of dental to the hospital for overdosing on amalgam used for filling teeth, a prescription drug for anxiety. that each purchase will earn them Her husband assumed responsifrequent flyer miles on American bility for holding his stepdaughAirlines, • ter's leash. On Feb. 8, Richard Harter had to return to his job, so Corner ofj Battery^ and Main

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Pamela Polston's "Out of the Closet" piece (Seven Days, March 20) is a truly wonderful gift to all of us. I admire her work and your courage as a newspaper for being so responsive and responsible. — C. Eric Selby

Middlebury

Provost Lowe was an opportunity to admit that there is a racial problem and a crisis of leadership at UVM, The president is far more than an individual scapegoat; he is an executive branch of an elaborate bureaucratic hierarchy, and both he and Provost Lowe have immense amounts of power. If they were truly committed to addressing racism at UVM, and if they had any credible leadership potential, we as a community would have something to show for it. — Ano Luina Lobb

Burlington

LOOK AGAIN

—

Paula Routly s mention of Los Van Van in the March 20 Backtalk column, while containing a welldeserved dig at the U.S. State Department for its denial of visas to Cuban musicians, also contains an error of fact. The United States is not the only place in the world for musicians to tour, and not coming here does not mean that "Los Van Van will be spending next year at home in Havana." Los Van Van tours extensively in North America (Mexico), South America and Europe. There is a cultural chauvinism implicit in her remark that deserves re-examination. — David Garten

Waitsfield PRAISES FOR PAUL

A bear hug to Paul Teetor, who took on the dark Gannett empire and walked away with a bundle — of satisfaction and hopefully $$$. — Gus Metropolis

Burlington MEOWZA!

Four Cat's paws up — way up — to Coach Gilligan and the Ice Cats for taking UVM hockey to a new level — tantalizingly close to the pinnacle. Thanks, Cats. — John Cunavelis

Burlington NO CHANGE AT UVM

Though student protests against racism at UVM have been many and varied, student concerns have not been addressed. Students have tried, and will continue to try, to bring about meaningful and necessary change to a flawed institution. However, with the exception of a handful of well-meaning individuals, the UVM faculty as a whole have never taken a firm stand. Systematic with UVM's failure as an institution of academic integrity, the faculty as a whole have shown they have no moral conviction, no willingness to question established ideas, and no ability to work as active agents for social change. Though students cycle through the university every four to five years, the faculty remain. They have the power to be listened to, to invoke meaningful change. The censure vote against President Salmon and

MATH HOMEWORK

In your 2/27/96 issue, Peter Freyne was a bit inaccurate when he stated that there are editorialists who research and get their facts straight. I would say that the usual editorialist lacks the erudition necessary to understand facts, especially in the area of mathematics in general and statistics in particular. Without pointing any fingers, let me give a simple but realistic example. Suppose the Census Bureau publishes figures showing a drop in average family income. The typical editorialist will take this factoid and run with it. But what will the person of superior intelligence do? Let me tell you. First he will take down his World Almanac and note that, according to the IRS, per capita income (from rents, dividends, interest, wages, etc.) has risen. Second, he will examine Census Bureau figures and see that during the last 20 years famiy size has decreased by 12 percent, and if we look beyond families to the growing number of singles the figure is even larger. In addition the Census Bureau does not include non-money income such as food stamps, Medicaid, company medical and pension plans, etc. The Congressional Budget Office estimates that living standards have increased by 20 percent in the last 20 years. The Census Bureau has been attempting to develop an alternative methodology which is more realistic in computing family income. That is what the intelligent person has found out. Now let me reduce this explanation to utter simplicity so that the arithmetic is understandable. Assume a town with a population of two consisting of a husband and wife each earning $30,000 a year, thus making a household income of $60,000. The wife moves out and gets a divorce and her own apartment. At the same time each gets a 10 percent salary increase and now makes $33,000 a year. However, the average household income in the town has dropped by 45 percent despite the fact that per capita income has risen 10 percent.

'SCAPE ARTIST Landscape architect Burlington By K e v i n J .

Dan Kiley sets his celebrity

sights on

Kelley

.....page

JUNK BONDING The salvage biz never gets old By Pamela

Polston

page

GROWING PAINS Bugs? Blight? Get hip to the horticultural By K a t h y

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A PLACE CALLED HOME First Person By M a g g i e

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Starvish

GOOD EGGS Artist Keith Mailhotte By K i r t

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Zimmer

MY FAVORITE MARTINI The old "in and out" is not what you By M o l 1 y

think page

Stevens

ART NEWS, LISTINGS, OPPORTUNITIES This week Seven Days is pleased

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CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Paula Routly, Pamela Polston ART DIRECTOR Lars-Erik Fisk PRODUCTION MANAGER Kathy Erickson PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Samantha Hunt CIRCULATION MANAGER/CLASSFIEDS/PERSONALS Maggie Starvish ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Clove Tsindle, Rick Woods, Katherine Riegelman CALENDAR WRITER Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Bill Craig, Peter Freyne, Megan Harlan, Kevin], Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Mark Madigan, P. Finn McManamy, Ed Neuert, Amber Older, Jules Older, Tom Paine, Ron Powers, Robert Resnik, Amy Rubin, Barry Snyder, Pascal Spengemann, Maggie Starvish, Molly Stevens, Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Sandy Milens, Andrew Musty, Laury Shea, Natalie Stultz, Matthew Thorsen, Alex Williams ILLUSTRATORS Sarah Ryan, Gary Causer

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SEVEN DAYS is published by Da Capo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free of charge in greater Burlington, Middlebury, Montpelier, Stowe and the Mad River Valley. Circulation: 12,000. Subscriptions via first-class mail are available for $28 per six months. Please call 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to "Subscriptions" at the address below. For Classifieds/Personals, please call the number below. SEVEN DAYS is printed at Upper Valley Press in Bradford, Vermont. SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, 29 Church St., Burlington, V T 05402-1164 Tel: 802.864.5684 Fax: 802.865.1015. e-mail: sevenday@together.net ©1996 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Dear Cecil, Enclosed are two of the many articles on the death of Gloria Ramirez, attendants with her fumes. Pesticides, nerve gas, cervical cancer, kidney failure, cardiac arrest, crystals in blood and other obscure causes were cited in these and many IV reports. Did they ever find out what killed Ms. Ramirez and made the workers sick? - J. Pilla, Tucson, Arizona What killed the 31-year-old Ramirez was no big mystery. She died of kidney failure due to advanced cancer of the cervix. What stumped people was what caused all those emergency room staffers to keel over. Nearly two dozen vomited or passed out, six wound up being hospitalized, and at least one suffered complications that persisted for months. Nobody's sure exactly what happened, but investigators have come up with a promising theory, as we shall see. It all began when the terminally ill Ramirez began having heartbeat and breathing problems at her home in Riverside, California, on the evening of February 19,1994. Paramedics rushed her to Riverside General Hospital, administering oxygen en route. Shortly after arriving at the ER she passed out. Dr. Julie Gorchynski tried to fix Ramirez's fluttering heartbeat by shocking her with defibrillation paddles. A short time later a nurse took a blood sample with a syringe. Dr. Gorchynski smelled ammonia and felt dizzy. The nurse keeled over. Dr. Gorchynski took the syringe and sniffed if. She smelled ammonia again and noticed the blood had funny straw-colored crystals in it. Seconds later she blacked out and went into convulsions. Soon medical staff all over the place were retching and fainting. The ER ^ was ordered evacuated. Further attempts to revive Ramirez failed, and she was pronounced dead. The body having been sealed in an airtight casket, the experts arrived to clean up and figure out what had gone wrong. They didn't get very far. An autopsy conducted by doctors wearing space suits revealed that Ramirez was suffering from a urinary blockage, among other things. But no known toxic chemicals were found. An inspection of the ER's plumbing and ventilation systems and whatnot also turned up nothing. Baffled officials came up with one inane explanation after another. The coroner's office said the ER staff were sickened by the "smell of death." The California department of health services blamed the whole thing on mass hysteria. This RO.'d the victims no end, particularly Dr. Gorchynski, who was in the worst shape. She was in the hospital for two weeks, stopped breathing repeatedly, came down with hepatitis and pancreatitis, and later developed bone rot in her knees. Finally, some folks with IQs in the triple digits got into the act. Scientists at the Forensic Science Center at Livermore National Laboratory found a chemical called dimethyl sulfone (DMS02) in Ramirez's blood. Dimethyl sulfone is a reaction product of dimethyl sulfoxide (DMSO), a solvent sometimes used by cancer patients as a home pain remedy. Neither DMSO nor DMS02 is especially dangerous. But while reading up on the subject a Livermore scientist came across a related chemical, dimethyl sulfate (DMS04). DMS04 is a powerful poison gas, and it can cause nearly every symptom suffered by the Riverside ER staff.' The Livermore scientists hatched the following hypothesis: (1) Ramirez doses herself with DMSO. Due to urinary blockage, the stuff builds up in her * bloodstream. (2) Oxygen administered by the paramedics converts the DMSO in her blood to a high concentration of DMS02. (3) When the DMSOrladen blood is drawn out in the syringe and cools to room temperature, crystals form (this was confirmed by experiment). (4) DMS02 is converted to DMS04 by some unknown mechanism and clobbers the medical staff. (5) The volatile DMSO4 evaporates without a trace. Step four is obviously the weak link. The Livermore scientists have proposed some possible chemical scenarios. While skeptics have raised objections, Livermore's Pat Grant says, "There weren't any showstoppeis." Those people got zapped by something, and right now this is the best explanation we've got. - CECIL ADAMS: Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11E. Illinois, Chicago, II6061t, or e mail him at cecil@chireader.com. , apri1

3,1996

•Three Strikes And They're Out? For the third straight year the beloved members of the GOP who serve in the Vermont Senate have hung tough and defeated the forces of ungodly communism. Whew! The ultra-radicals who control the House like it was their own Stalinist commune have been knocked on their heels for the third time by the courage and bravery of Republican Sens. Sara Gear, Matt Krauss, Tom Bahre and Fred Ehrich. This brave quartet hung together like mud Monday in putting the kibosh to the leftist crusade to change the way we Vermonters pay for the education of our kids. Hallelujah! Stowe and Sherburne have been saved! God knows the forces of darkness pulled out all the stops. They schmoozed the liberal press planting seeds of hope. They even schmoozed a couple Republicans. But when push came to shove the Democratic forces under the iron-fist rule of Sen. Peter Shumlin just didn't have the muscle. And Shumlin showed his true colors in defeat by sounding like a crybaby. "It's mud season at the Statehouse," carped Shummy. "And it seems that every mud season the Republican Senate melts down on property-tax reform. They promised us we had a package, that we were going to do it. We sold it to the press. We sold it to the people of Vermont. They cut a deal in the back room and they're running like frightened hogs!" Frightened hogs? What a ham. Look, the important principle here is that the upper class preserves its intergenerational hold on wealth and power. Rich kids must be preserved and protected so they can grow up to be the rich adults of tomorrow. If educational funding and quality were to be equalized so that Stowe babies and Stannard babies got the same educational meal ticket, the status quo would be threatened. Anarchy unleashed. Forget what the wild-eyed leftists say as they pander to the noble virtues of justice and equality. It's subversive. "Education is opportunity," harped one of the misguided radicals a few years ago. "Our present system denies access to that opportunity for thousands of Vermont youngsters, solely because the town in which they live does not have a property tax base large enough to support an adequate educational system." (Violins, please.) "While change is difficult, it is time for Vermonters to face up to this injustice so that Vermont children may all benefit from equal educational opportunity." Given the fact that the gentleman who uttered the above was known for his enormous appetite, it's likely that he was under the influence of tainted English beef at the time he sang his paean to the Great Satan — a statewide property tax. His words are posted on the bulletin board in the Senate Finance Committee. Committee Chairman Stephen Webster, a Republican from the radical hotbed of Randolph, posted the text. Webster is the one and only misguided Republican in the state Senate who believes a statewide property tax is the answer. Since "Weebs" is flying solo in a GOP jersey, he had to reach back into the grave to find a Republican ally. He did. You see those are the venerable words of former Governor Richard Snelling. Asked why he posted a Dick Snelling quote on the committee bulletin board,

apr i 1

3,1996

Webster told Inside Track, "We're going through some difficult times. What's important," he said, "is the children, not Senate personalities." Stephen Webster is not a man of many words. He's not one to snuggle up to the press like so many of his colleagues. But when Webster talks, it's just like E.F. Hutton: time to shut up and listen. If King Richard were still with us and Gov. Howard Dean was still wearing a white jacket and looking at naked bodies every day, the great Vermont bugaboo known as property tax reform would be a done deal. King Richard was a leader, not a follower. He would always do the right thing regardless of its popularity. He didn't give a damn about which way the wind was blowing. But he's not with us. Ho-Ho is, and Ho-Ho has more weather vanes than the National Weather Service. Since the current governor won't lead the charge and the Republican Senate won't stand for it, the ball is in the court of the third branch of government — the courts. The ACLU is representing the 12 Vermonters and two school districts (Brandon and Worcester) who have sued the state seeking a judgment "declaring that the way in which Vermont funds the education of its schoolchildren is unconstitutional." Trial is scheduled for October 9 in Lamoille Superior Court before Judge John Meaker. The state is preparing a motion for dismissal, arguing that the Vermont Constitution does not grant every child in Vermont "the right" to an equal education. Funny thing is, most people would agree that's a shameful position for the state to take. Even Governor Dean disagrees. Apparently unaware of what the attorney general is up to, Dean told reporters at his weekly press conference that he is of the opinion Vermont kids do have "a right to an equal education." Too bad he won't take the point and lead the way. Too dangerous. Dennis the Menace — And everybody thought he was nothing more than Charlotte's Casper Milquetoast. Think again. Meet the new Dennis Delaney, a hardnosed politician with a clear agenda: Gut the Housing Conservation Board, the Human Rights Commission and the Vermont Council on the Arts, and slash funding for the University of Vermont and Vermont ETV. After all, 1996 is Dennis Delaney's year. The Year of the Rat. Delaney knows it's going to take a rat to win the Republican primary for lieutenant governor. Rats are in these days — just look at Capitol Hill. Even Bill Clinton has to respect rats. And Delaney is aiming to spend the next five months terrorizing Vermont's liberal mice. Can you say, "Cheese, please"? He's got to do it because The Rutland Heralds February poll found that Dennis has a very big problem in his first bid for statewide office. Most people in Vermont never heard of him. (Yes, it's true, there are Vermonters who don't live in Chittenden County.) And just 8 percent had a favorable take on him, compared to 11 percent who've heard of him and can't stand him. C'mon. Everybody's heard of Attilla the Hun, right? And Newt Gingrich? Everybody's heard of Dennis the Menace, too. So it makes perfect sense for Delaney to slip into the role of a public figure everybody knows, even if the public figure is a cartoon character. Talk about free name recognition — brilliant! And you thought Dennis Delaney had no political smarts. Pshaw! •

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ART ATTACK:

No one is sure exactly what happened last Friday in the Senate Appropriations Committee. But the Vermont Council on the Arts got word almost immediately that its budget had been zeroed out. VCA Director Nicolette Clarke didn't sleep Friday night. On Saturday, Philip Bither sounded the arts alarm from the stage of the Flynn. But over the weekend, various members of the committee — Susan Sweetser, Dennis Delaney — came forth with conflicting reports about a vote to deep-six the council. Real or imagined? "There seems to be some confusion among members in terms of what they did or didn't do," Clarke says. One version of the vote has Delaney proposing a 50 percent cut in funding, with a challenge to raise the balance from private sources. "We have spent the last three months preparing for federal cuts," Clarke says. "To be faced with the thought of either being eliminated or severely cut by the state just throws all the work we have done to the wind." M A N , O H M A N : No one planned Man would outlast Leaving Las Vegas, Dead Man Walking and Sense and Sensibility. But this week Man with a Plan begins its tenth consecutive week at the Nickelodeon. "We must be the longest continuJohn O'Brien ous run in the state since the beginning of February," says Tunbridge filmmaker John O'Brien, who is now pushing his Plan in Brattleboro, Rutland and Springfield. Next stop is Boston. At first, the B-town booker was discouraging. Then "he totally changed his tune," O'Brien says. "Somebody must have said to him, 'Man, that film, it just won't die.'" Man with a Plan will likely open in late May in West Newton — hopefully around the same time the Boston Globe runs a Sunday story by Sally Johnson that should help his cause. If the stars align, there could very well be a distributor in his future.

HORNING IN: Richard Haupt is the Fred Tuttle of the Burlington music scene. The Church Street clarinetist knows the benefits of being there. He teams up with Phish on the new Good Citizen CD — Andrew Smith gave his solo cut to guitarist Trey Anastasio, who incorporated it d la Frank Sinatra into one of their songs in the studio. "Phish will play for a little while and then Richard has a solo clarinet line," Smith explains. The tune is a cover, of course. All the cuts on upcoming double disc are. Phish covers Rocketsled. Haupt covers Big Joe Burrell. The result: "Rocketsled's Funky Main Man Meets Big Joe on Church Street." Look for it in early May.

SMOKE OUT: Nice to know the powers that be — and tax —

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are reading Seven Days. At least two establishments have been called on the carpet as a result of our January article on cigars. One, for uncollected sin taxes. The other, for hosting exclusive cigar dinners in violation of the Clean Indoor Air Act. The problem is not that the Common Man restaurant in Warren serves up a six-course meal alternating fine food, wine and smoke, but that it advertises the event, which makes it public. Never mind that the restaurant is closed on these twice-yearly evenings, and that only cigar smokers would want to attend. "My batde is not with the health department," says proprietor Mike Ware, "but with the law." If you appreciate a Macanudo Baron de Rothschild between your Australian Cabernet and Jarret D'Agneau, come and get it — April 14.

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SEVEN DAYS

His inaugural meeting of monologuists was "a mad! house." But Michael Evans has no idea what to expect from his | next gathering of actors, therapists and drag queens. Check out | Jordan Gullikson, Walter Zeichner and Cherie Tartt in perfor! mance Saturday at Cafe No No . . . Easter Sunday may seem | like an odd day for a book signing. But it works well for Cabot ! poet Ellen Voigt, whose new book of verse, Kyrie, is all about ; influenza. Voigt was recently nominated for a National Book ! Critics Circle Award. Her Pulitzer j Prize-winning neighbor Louise Gliick, I also has a new book out. But I Meadowlands is about modern myth, | not gardening . . . A global theme ! inspired some real winners at the • Flower Show last month. Vivaldi ! Flowers took first prize for its walled j Tuscan garden. Four Seasons went

landscape Ii '

third. D , H I m m W I

Ellen Voigt a p r i1

3,1996

Landscape

architect

elebrity status has been slow in coming to Daniel Urban Kiley. Only in the latest phase of his 60year career has the Charlotte resident received the sort of recognition routinely accorded the worldclass artists with whom he's collaborated. As if to flaunt its fickle quality, fame is suddenly showering on Kiley. In a lengthy New Yorker profile last October, he is described as "America's premier landscape architect." Reviewing a Kiley retrospective at the Urban Center in midtown Manhattan, The New York Times recently suggested that his stature may be even larger. To Times critic Herbert Muschamp, Kiley is nothing less than the foremost landscape architect of this century. Nearly a thousand of Kiley 's designs grace sites the world over. At age 84, he is constantly importuned by would-be clients from London to San Francisco to Tokyo — but not in the Burlington area. Though he's brimming with ideas for projects in a city he much admires, no one at home has asked for proposals. Kiley wants to transform Burlington into a veritable urban Utopia. He'd even do it at a discount. The lack of interest on the part of local planners and politicians strikes Kiley as "odd." After all, he modestly muses, "I do have a reputation for this sort of thing." Vermonters can get a partial glimpse at Kiley's vision for Burlington when he speaks this week at the University of Vermont on the physical relationship between the university and the city. It won't be the first time he's addressed this topic. Kiley drew up a master plan for UVM about 30 years ago, but only a small portion of it was ever implemented. The university did follow his blueprint by planting a grove of honey locusts at the northern end of the open space between the Fleming Museum and Bailey-Howe Library. UVM didn't complete the design, however. Kiley also wanted to situate a similar grove at the southern end of the space, so as to partly conceal "that ugly library." And in between the two sets of trees there was to have been "a beautiful pond." Kiley calls UVM's current relationship with Burlington "rather amorphous." He wants to strengthen it by integrating the campus more directly into the life and topography of the city. The school could be woven into the urban fabric by means of a seam running from the University Green into downtown and onward to the lake, Kiley suggests. He envisions a car-free College Street planted its entire length with a double row of trees on each of its sides. "Some sort of people-mover" would shuttle along this woodsy corridor right down to the Boathouse.

stretch of Battery Street north of Union Station. People would pass over this "open cut" for cars via a series of pedestrian bridges linking downtown's east-west streets with the lake. And what would they find on the waterfront itself? Lots of trees, for one thing. Currently unplanted expanses are badly in need of summertime shade, Kiley believes. In keeping with his conception of cities as bustling communities, Kiley further foresees a row of apartment houses built beside the embankment east of Lake Street. Relatively dense residential construction on the waterfront would enable "lots of people to enjoy that fantas/ tic view."

n Kiley's view, the automobile is the enemy of urbanism. As long ago as 1961 he was urging that Church Street be closed to car traffic. And now his attention has turned toward another Burlington thoroughfare: the proposed Southern Connector, which he regards as "a stupid idea." Dismissing claims that the road would enable commuters to bypass congested or residential areas, Kiley thinks the Connector will actually-"cause people to bypass Burlington itself." In seeking to build a four-lane highway that "cuts the life connection between the city and the lake," Burlington seems intent on making the same mistake that other cities made 30 years ago. And several of those cities — Boston and San Francisco among them — are making amends for their car-oriented miscalculation by ripping up harborside roadways, Kiley notes. Instead of giving automobiles greater prominence in the vicinity of the waterfront, he would literally bury them. Kiley would like to gouge out a trench along a roughly quarter-mile

espite his antipathy for what may be the 20th century's most emblematic piece of technology, Kiley's designs mark him as a thoroughgoing Modernist. His aesthetic principles, refined at Harvard's Graduate School of Design in the

a p r i 1

3,1996

Kelley

ARTIST

Dan Kiley sets his celebrity

Kevin

Miller Garden, Columbus, Iowa His scheme for the city as a whole is equally bold. It essentially involves an irtti^semi^cijrcular beltway that would follow existing routes, including Riverside Avenue. Several "parking stations" would be erected along the way, enabling visitors to leave their cars outside the city's core, all of which would become an automobile-free zone. Something similar has been done in Beaune in France's Burgundy region and in a number of other European cities. In the car-crazed United States, however, "as soon as you start talking about such a thing, city engineers start screaming," Kiley acknowledges. "But we should just push their objections aside and do something that's full of life and energy. Wouldn't it be great if Burlington had the guts to be the first American city to do this?"

sights on

Burlingto

1930s, derive from premises established by Bauhaus designers and by pioneering Modern architect Mies van der Rohe. Kiley favors a spare, unembellished look, one that is often highly geometric in its contours. His preference for symmetry is immediately evident in many of his projects, such as the grid pattern of trees in front of Lincoln Center's Vivian Beaumont Theater. It's an approach compatible with the work of Classicalinfluenced architects like I.M. Pei. Kiley did the landscaping, inside and out, for Pei's East Building of the National Galley in Washington, and he is currently collaborating with Pei on a 500-acre site near San Francisco where a retirement community is to be built. Like several other architects with whom he has worked, Kiley sees no contradiction between Classicism and Modernism. But his highly ordered horticultural arrangements do seem to -contradict aspects of his own aesthetic credo. "Don't say 'landscaping,'" Kiley admonished in the course of a recent interview. "What I do is to organize the spatial relationship of buildings and open spaces into single integral units." In The New Yorker profile, Kiley argued that a design ought to grow organically out of an existing landscape rather than being imposed upon it. He explained his guiding theory to writer Calvin Tomkins in this way: "It's not man and nature. It's not even man with nature. Man is nature, just like the trees." Criticizing the "faintly medicinal quality" of some of Kiley's projects, Times reviewer Herbert Muschamp pointed out that "Euclidean geometry doesn't occur in nature." One of KileyV'clean, pristine spaces" — a sculpture garden he designed for the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art in Kansas City — is faulted on similar grounds in the March edition of Architecture magazine. Critic Hugo Lindgren sees this example of Kiley's work as "dull, straightjacketed formality — Modernism by the numbers." The same reviewers, otherwise lavish in their praise of Kiley's achievements, note that his landscapes do often merge seamlessly with the buildings they accompany. That may be a key reason, Muschamp suggested, for why Kiley has remained under-appreciated for most of his career. We tend to see the building as the picture and the landscape as the frame, H P Muschamp wrote. "But frame-making is itself an art form" — one that can powerfully affect our perception of the object it encloses. Kiley's self-effacing professional approach is inconsistent with his personality. Tomkins ^°ntinued described him in

The New So

MAN WITH A CITY PLAN: Dan Kiley's l i f e and work are one SEVEN

DAYS

page

s p o n s o r e d by

WEDNESDAY THE DATING GAME, 5:30 p.m., no cover, followed by SANDRA WRIGHT BAND (r&b, soul), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. JIM BRANCA (blues), Java Blues, 7 p.m. No cover. DISCO INFERNO (funky dance party), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. KATE BARCLAY (acoustic rock), Cafe No No, 8 p.m. Donations. QUEEN CITY All S1ARS (reggae), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. No cover/$3 under 21. PARKS DEPT. (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. B100Z010MY (blues), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. HEAR1ATTACK WITH ROBERTO RENNA (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/6. ANDY TAYLOR (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. BREAKAWAY (bluegrass), Sneakeis, Winooski, 8:30 p.m. $2. Q

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THURSDAY

J MASCIS (alt-rock, formerly of Dinosaur Jr.), 7 p.m., $10, followed by MOTE BROWN (reggae-rock), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. No cover. GOVT MULE, CHEROKEE SEX WORKSHOP (Southern blues-rock, rock 'n roll), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $10. BUJES FOR BREAKFAST, Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. No cover. INTERNATIONAL DJS, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $2/3. OPEN MIKE NIGHT WITH MARK GALBO (acoustic), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. No cover. ANDY TAYLOR (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. RAY LEWIS (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. No cover. GORDON STONE TRIO (acoustic), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. LAST ELM STRING BAND (acoustic), Local Legends Coffeehouse, Daily Bread, Richmond, 7:30 p.m., $3.50. Q

FRIDAY

CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. No cover. THE FIDDLEHEADS (sounds of love), Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover. MOTE BROWN, THE WINEBOTTLES (reggae-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5.7 YEAR BITCH, SIXTEEN DELUXE, THE fAGS, ME JANE (punk), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $7. ANNIE GALUJP (folk), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 9 p.m., $6. DAVE VAN RONK, JOHN ROSSBACH (acoustic), Vermont Coffeehouse at Vermont Pasta, 8:30 & 10:30 p.m., $10. THE MERRYS (acoustic), Samsara, 8:30 p.m. No cover. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m., $7. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. No cover. BIDES FOR BREAKFAST, Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. KIM KING'S JUKEBOX (DJ), 6 p.m., followed by CRAIG MICHEL (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $6. JAZZ NIGHT, Cafe No No, 8 p.m. No cover. THE WARRENS (rock), Last Elm Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations. ANDY TAYLOR (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (irish) Tuckaways, Sheraton Hotel, 8:30 p.m. No cover. TABLE WINE (eclectic acoustic), Williston Coffeehouse, 8 p.m., $4. THE MIX (rock), Wolfs Lair, Colchester, 9 p.m., $2. WOLF LARSON (blues-rock), Charlie-os, Montpelier, 10 p.m. No cover. PAMELA MEANS, KATHERINE QUINN (folk), Pyralisk, Montpelier, 8 p.m., $5. MICHAEL SULLIVAN TRIO (jazz), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 8 p.m. No cover. THE PANTS (alt-rock), Stowe Mountain Resort, Midway Lodge, 2 p.m. No cover. Q

BLACKTHORN CETIC JAM (acoustic), 12:30 p.m. PAMEA MEANS, JAMES CARAN (folk), Vermont Coffeehouse at Vermont Pasta, 8:30 & 10:30 p.m., $10. LES SAMPOU (bluesy-folk), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 9 p.m., $6. OUTER MONGOLIA (noodle-palooza), Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover. THE DALEYS (acoustic), Samsara, 9 p.m. No cover. DOG'S EYE VIEW, SEMISONIC (alt-rock), 7 p.m., $8, followed by BNB (acid jazz), Club Metronome, 9 p.m., $3. MICHAE RAY & COSMIC KREWE, JONESTOWNPUNCH (far-out jazz), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $10. CURRENTLY THREE'S A CROWD-PLEASER Govt' Mule can't escape NAMEESS (funk-rock), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. COMEcomparisons to power trios throughout rock histoDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m., $7. BUJES r y — but there are worse things than being menFOR BREAKFAST, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. DAN SHAW (DJ), tioned in the same breath as Cream, Hendrix or 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/5. BLUE FOX (blues-rock), Alley Cats, ZZ Top. Allman Bros, vet Warren Haynes brings 9:30 p.m. No cover. ANDY TAYLOR (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, his blues-soul-brothers back to Toast this 9 p.m. No cover. BOB GESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaways, Thursday. Cherokee Sex Workshop opens. Sheraton Hotel, 8:30 p.m. No cover. THE MIX (rock), Wolfs Lair, Colchester, 9 p.m., $2. MICHAE OAKLAND (jazz), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 8 p.m. No cover. ROOT (reggae-rock), Charlie-os, Montpelier, 9:30 p.m. No cover. CHIN HO!, DYSFUNKSHUN, 5 SECONDS EXPIRED (alt-rock, fiink-hip-hop, hardcore), closing bash at the Pyralisk, Montpelier, 9 p.m., $7. 0

SUNDAY

MATT MCGIBNEY & RAY LEWIS (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 11 a.m. No cover. BUJES FOR JAVA (grateful blues jam), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. 5 SECONDS EXPIRED, single release party with NEVER ONLY ONCE, JESUS NUT, DROWNING MAN, R0CKE1SLED, 7 YEAR'S WAR (hardcore), 2-6 p.m., no cover; JUSTIN B, COUSIN DAVE (house/acid jazz DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. RUSS FLANIGAN (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE WITH THE FIDDLEHEADS (acoustic), Vermont Coffeehouse at Vermont Pasta, 8 p.m. Donations. SHEEFRA (Celtic, classical), Main Street Bar & Grill, 10 a.m. No cover. ^ ^ Q MONDAY H00 D00 REVUE (blues, r&b), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. ANDERS OSBORNE (roots-rock), Club Metronome, 7 p.m., $8, followed by SOUP SANDWICH, MK ULTRA, SANDOZE, 10 p.m. No cover. CRANIAL PERCH, SCIENCE FIXION (sonic strangeness; jazz), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $3/5. ALLEY CATS JAM, Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. WOMEN'S NIGHT (film), Last Elm, 8 p.m. Donations. Q

TUESDAY

OPEN POETRY, Last Elm Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations. OPEN MIKE KNIGHT (acoustic), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. MATT NEWBURG & THE GARLIC PRESS (acoustic blues), Cactus Cafe, 7 p.m. No cover. FLASHBACK: HITS OF THE '80S (DJ), Club Toast, 9 p.m. No cover/$3 under 21. COOLEY'S HOT BOX (acid jazz-funk-soul from NY), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. PARKS DEPT. (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. PARIMA JAZZ BAND, Parima Thai Restaurant, 8 p.m. No cover.

WEDNESDAY

OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. THE DATING GAME (grand prize drawing night!), 5:30 p.m., no cover, followed by SANDRA WRIGHT (rock), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. No cover. BROOKLYN FUNK ESSENTIALS, BABY'S NICKE BAG (acid jazz, fimk), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $5. HEARIATTACK WITH ROBERTO RENNA (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/6. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. SUPERSOUNDS (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. RED BEANS & RICE, THE HORSE (jazz, alt-rock), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. HANNIBAL & AGOSTI (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. No cover. THE MANDOLINQUENTS (bluegrass), Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m., $3.

388-2743

All clubs

BAND page, 8

SATURDAY

NAME

SEVEN DAYS

in Burlington

unless

otherwise

OF T H EWEEK:

noted.

ASTRAL apri 1

TURF 3.1996

WOMEN NEEDED TO VOLUNTEER FOR A NEW VAGINAL BARRIER CONTRACEPTIVE STUDY The Vermont Women's Health Center is seeking women between the ages of 1 8 - 4 0 to volunteer for a contraceptive research study. The study will compare the diaphragm to a new type of cervical cap. The confidential study will take 6 months to complete. All office visits, lab tests and supplies will be free of charge.

Volunteers will receive $75 per visit, maximum of $375

J^Hntl ^HOLp cassette) 7— I can see it now: a ^ ' ^ K B m ^ - ^ m ^ & J r & d After long hours of trying to i^flBLlill^ tiM^p^y^ Bilf "mm. "^SKr^mMf come up with a band name, MEfcV^' I n B a ilk jMBfyk J ^ W ^ ^ W m I B u r l i n g t o n quintet was r c e ^ milltlr " I * " V f l H k ^ ^ ^ ^ H f° d to write something, ^ • M a H y i B ee^Hmi^ê * iH^^RviJ^^Î thing, down —maybe for their I first gig. The all-purpose junk• K M Q ^ ^ K ^ ^ ^ H H p ^ ^ ^ H mail monicker, "Current B. flt^^^^^^^K ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ H l i A ^ ^ H Resident," may have come to If:..,u^Bi^^Hk.^ T ^ ^ H mind, but didn't quite work. Wg ^Ê^^HBj^ljjjflp Currently Nameless sounds B'V^ non-committal; it suggests a • fj^^^^^^Hylp definitive identity may surface ^ ^ B ^ ^ H ^ ^ ^ I ^ E ' f ^ K ' an X d a y now > if only the band Wm*' W' " could get its shit together. The same mental block occurred around the name of CN's first tape release — it's eponymously nameless, too. Fortunately, there's nothing tentative about Currently Nameless' sound. Vocalist Sean Daley's bluesy rasp can belt like the best of'em, and the band's white-guy funk is fueled by adrenalin and considerable creative license. Recorded at Eclipse Studio, Currently Nameless sounds live and way fat — make that phat — and righteously puts the vocals in front of a power mix, with the poppin' bass of John Treybal and Josh Keller's guitar in firm command. Imagine Grateful Dead-style noodling, southern metal-harp-blues-rock and a touch of jazz. Oh, yes, and at the end of a funky groove called "The Barrel of Pickles Song," CN — all five of whom can sing — kick in an a cappella harmony session that could put The Nylons to shame. Can't quite hear it? Try Currently Nameless in person, this Saturday at the Last Elm in Burlington. Want t o g e t Send y o u r

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M E L T D O W N The artists formerly known as Slush will thank you to get used to their new name, 5 Seconds Expired. After signing with New York's Another Planet Records this winter, Burlington's hardcore gods discovered another band of the same monicker in — of all places — Los Angeles. Harsh. Sporting four more syllables and ^ a cryptic identity, 5 Seconds Expired hits the .4r*Jm racks with a new single this week. The release Mj^W party at Metronome Sunday —- matinee time, kids — generously includes five additional 'core i R k fjlSy^j^fc cadets for maximal penetration. Slush, I mean 5, H t m l -4? J B B w i also ushers out the Pyralisk Saturday with Chin M P ^ H n Ho! and DysFunkShun. Whatta swan song. BACK

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Country/bluegrass singer and fiddle virtuoso Alison Krauss and her bond Union Station return to the Flynn with two new Grammy Awards including Best Female Country Vocal Performance. Alison's arrestingly soft, lush ballads mix beautifully with her devilish fiddle and band of hotshot pickers. F l Y N N

earned his fans the hard way. The Grammy-nominated Alcazar artist comes to Burlington's Vermont Coffeehouse for two shows this Friday.

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Yorker as "gregarious, indefatigable, full of Irish high spirits and self-regard, fond of high-cholesterol foods, martinis, skiing, golf and the multiple pleasures available to man-in-nature." Some years ago, Kiley's physician told him he would need to undergo heart bypass surgery because angioplasty had failed to solve a life-threatening heart problem. The patient resisted that advice and instead sought to cure himself by forgoing those martinis and highcholesterol foods. The treatment worked. And once he started to feel better, Kiley resumed his former diet.

KILEY ENVISIONS A CAR-FREE COLLEGE STREET PLANTED ITS ENTIRE LENGTH WITH A DOUBLE ROM OF TREES ON EACH OF ITS SIDES. "SOME SORT OF PEOPLEMOVER" MOULD SHUTTLE ALONG THIS WOODSY CORRIDOR RIGHT DOWN TO THE BO AT HOUSE. Taking it easy is not on Kiley's agenda. "Landscape architecture is what I love to do," he says. "I'll never retire. It's so exciting that my life and work are one." He also remains an avid skier and golfer, having engaged in both sports within the past week as he jetted around the country on a speaking tour. Kiley has been an inveterate globetrotter for many years — so much so that it fell to his wife, Anne, to raise the couple's eight children pretty much singlehandedly. They grew up in freespirited fashion, causing some neighbors to wonder if perhaps the Kileys might be running a nudist colony on their vast Charlotte estate. "I've been very fortunate to live for so long in beautiful Vermont," says Kiley, a Massachusetts native who moved to the Green Mountain State in 1951. All that's missing now is the opportunity to leave his mark on Burlington's landscape. And maybe Kiley will be approached one of these days. It's hard to imagine that Burlington will let slip its last chance of being touched by local genius. •

guidelines &

STONEHEDGE

SCAPE ARTIST

Continued

Comfort Clot hint)

SEVEN

DAYS

On the Burlington Waterfront behind the Ice House Restaurant. 865 7910. Open daily, 11-7

Dan Kiley will lecture on landscape and the University of Vermont campus Thursday, April 4 at 12:20 p.m., 101 Stafford Hall.

a p ri1

3,1996

JUNK BONDING

The salvage biz never gets old

f you find recycling your newspapers and milk bottles gratifying, imagine refurbishing your house, apartment or workplace with reincarnated stuff — parts that have already been there, done that, and are ready to do something else. Like the exterior shutters that Andy Gardiner transformed into interior ones for a large window in his home on Officer's Row at Fort Ethan Allen. Or the church pew he made into a room divider you can sit — or pray — on. A sportswriter for The

Burlington Tree Press and an avid restorer — his friends call him Felix and Oscar — Gardiner scavenges for building materials the way others comb thrift shops for vintage clothing. His motto might be "in with the old, the ^ heck with the £ new." Gardiner, in short, is a salvage fan. If he lived in New York he

° -

^ Ji ^ ••

might be a £ "dumpster ^ diver." Here, he's likely to haunt local repositories of the re-buildable: Burlington's Architectural Salvage and Mason Brothers Salvage in Essex Junction. If he's really on a search he'll drive down to Vermont Salvage Exchange in White River Junction. "I think they're the best places in the world," Gardiner says. Living in a century-old house certainly helps to inspire architectural preservation — let's face it, they just don't build 'em like they used to. Gardiner's home dates to 1894, and, except for modern conveniences, he aims to honor its historic character.'Tm one of these people who believes that older is sometimes better," he says — "the way it's constructed, especially wood." In fact, plenty of Vermonters — and out-ofstaters — living in elderly or newer houses are motivated to buy old for several reasons: aesthetics, quality, environmentalism, uniqueness, connection to tradition, price. "The prices of new stuff are astronomical for anything of quality," says Architectural Salvage owner Dave Ackerman. "That definitely fuels this business." Then there's the fun part: For all the labor-intensive efforts in, say, stripping an old apr i 1

desk or refurbishing a candelabra, restoration can be a highly satisfying pastime. To give something old and discarded a new raison d'etre is a sort of vicarious re-birthing. For Dave Mason, a former carpenter and the sole proprietor of the five-year-old Mason Brothers (no brothers involved; he just liked the way the name sounded), finding new uses for old parts is the creative outlet in his business. One of the most popular items he makes is bookshelves — distinctive, oneof-a-kind amalgams of old doors and boards. He's also constructed "jelly cupboards," stereo racks and other cabinets out of myriad parts. Mostly, though, customers come in and

3,1996

sort through neat rows, stacks and drawers of objets antiques — and do their own thing at home. Gardiner, like all salvage scavengers, loves the "treasurehunt" factor. "You never know what you're going to find," he notes. Besides bins full of boards, cornices, fixtures, mirror frames, complete fireplaces, bathtubs with feet and intact furniture, there's the odd find. This week, for instance, MasonBrothers has a humongous . wood National Cash Register from 1921, still in perfect working condition, and a barber's pole from Johnson, Vermont. In the cavernous environs of Architectural Salvage awaits a charming vintage pinball machine, a complete early-American, glass-paneled entryway big enough for a barn, a brown wicker chair with wild floral cushions. Are there typical items that people seek? Not really — Mason says his customers are "all over the map." But, he acknowledges, "we go through phases where certain items are hot. Clawfoot tubs are always popular." Nor are there typical seekers. "I get a wide range of customers," says Mason. An antiques dealer might be likely to buy that cash register for

V A / B w !

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resale. Others include historic restorers, architects and contractors, landlords, people who own camps looking for cheap stuff, bars or restaurants looking for pieces with atmosphere." As local examples he cites doors at Jake's Restaurant on Shelburne Road and J. Lemay, a women's clothing store on Church Street. Magic Hat Brewery acquired some of its funky look with gothic windows and an antique cooler door. Phish fans will be interested to note that several country-home-owning members of that band have been by. Their purchases include a staircase, a turn-of-the-century street lamp and a 1950s Naugahyde diner bench. Ackerman's • local contributions include a Saturn-shaped globe at the Daily Planet, lamp fixtures at Three Needs and the bar — from an old 'mining town — at Sarducci's restaurant in Montpelier. "I like old stuff because you can repair it," Ackerman adds. "When new stuff breaks you have to throw it away." One of the best aspects of the job? Taking some of those treasures home. Mason's house, he concedes, definitely has an eclectic collector look. Ackerman and his wife purchased an old, six-bedroom home on Adams Street in Burlington and are feverishly restoring it to its former singlefamily glory before their first baby arrives. Surely one of his greatest finds is a regulationsize pool table from the 1920s, found at a former Elks Club in New York state. It may have been played on by Al Capone. Salvage fans may worry that the popularity of antique parts makes them harder — and more expensive — to find. But local suppliers aren't too worried. "There will always be old stuff," declares Mason. "New stuff will get old...people will renovate someone else's renovations." Ackerman agrees that what's considered antique is now a broader field. "The Tonka Toys I played with are now worth $200," he marvels. It's good to be in a business where what goes around, comes around — again and again. •

SEVEN

DAYS

• Lighting • Columns • Hardware • Balustrades • Gingerbread • Plus o u r o w n Handcrafted Bookcases made from Architectural Elements

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he phone rings in a small office at the University of Vermont Extension System compound on Spear Street in Burlington. A seriously alarmed person on the line wails, "There are huge green worms on my tomato plants. They are eating everything. What in the world do I do?" Hornworms, muses the person at the other end of the line. "Does it look like a pea pod?" she asks. With confirmation, she proceeds to help the dismayed backyard gardener find an answer to his problem. Welcome to the horticultural hotline — a sort of gardening 911 that many people don't even know exists. And a fine example of the adage that the best things in life are free. The helper on the line is a graduate

Ext*.**

12 •

• I have cotton balls on my cottoneaster. • What sort of perennials thrive in Vermont? l [.LUSTRATIONS:

And then there's this one: "I've got the kids in the house and the doors locked because there are these immense, slimy creatures clinging to the side of my porch!" This last plea for help was recounted by Sandra Hall, the on-site coordinator of the Burlington hotline. Her diagnosis? Common — Dr. Margaret Skinner, slugs. She offered the harried homeU V M entomologist owner some solutions: Apply diatomaceous earth (silica; you of a 13-week Master Gardener don't want to know what this program, taught through the does to their underbellies). University of Vermont. Attract them with — and then Directed by Peg Andrews, the drown them in — beer. Copper course covers gardening chaltape to repel the pests with its lenges from aphids to zucchini electric charge. zits. Each three-hour weekly

If one person has a problem... you know there is plenty more happening elsewhere."

class is taught by an expert in the fields of entomology, plant propagation, integrated pest management and a host of other horticultural specialties. Vermont graduates, whose prior gardening expertise runs the gamut of skill levels, approach 500 statewide. Upon completion, all graduates are required to work 40 hours annually as a community consultant, in areas as diverse as 4-H youth work, newsletter assistance, statistics recording — or on the receiving end of the hotline. The master gardener has to field all sorts of questions, from the ordinary to the oddball. Such as: • I let my garden go to weed 6 last fall. What do I do now?" S • How can I get rid of Japanese beetles? • Can I grow ginseng in Vermont? • How do I prepare my soil for raspberries? • Help! Skunks are tearing up my lawn.

Hall also recalls a worried mother whose child's hand was red and irritated after helping

TIM

NEWC0MB

There are many solutions to gardening problems, some organic, some not. Some are so inorganic that they're downright scary. The master gardening program, and its graduates, champion organic measures before more drastic ones are taken. But they caution that even organic controls can be dangerous and should be used with care. Skinner stresses the importance of organic approaches for pest control, stating that "the chances for mistakes [when using pesticides] are so great. I don't know any reason why a homeowner would have to use them. Crop failure is not a lifeor-death issue for them." "The folks on the hotline are committed to safe and healthy gardening," Sandra Hall concurs. Quick fixes are simply not the rule of thumb

GROWING PAINS

862-9616 J page

SEVEN

DAYS

Bugs? Blightf Get hip to the horticultural hotline in the garden. The surprising answer: The caterpillar that becomes a swallowtail butterfly, when threatened, projects orange horns that emit an irritating substance as a defense mechanism. With a distinguished backup crew of University of Vermont horticulturalists, hotline staffers can write up the queries that really stump them and pass them on to appropriate departments. Dr. Margaret Skinner, a UVM entomologist, calls the hotline a "clearinghouse for the gardening problems occurring in the area. If one person has a problem... you know there is plenty more -—• happening elsewhere."

for these "green thumbs" — which means that some horticultural problems will not be "cured" overnight. But no matter how long it takes, the master gardeners will be there to guide those less experienced through the perils of propagation, pruning and pests. Now, about that funnylooking splotch on your pepper plants... •

For horticultural help, call the statewide Master Gardener Hot-line. From the Burlington area call 656-5421. Anywhere else in Vermont: 1-800-6392230. April hours are as follows: Mondays: 9 a.m.-noon, 1-4 p.m.; Wednesdays and Thursdays: 9 a.m.-noon.

a p ri1

3,1996

, really freaked: I had barely ;

drawn — and they were too busy hippie-chicking out to bother making friends. With the end of the summer came moving time again:

and I found another apartment, with an older woman who was obviously not from the same planet as me. I'm a slob; she kept lemon-fresh

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started a fuU-rime job, and just p when I had finally found a £ place to call my own, I had to £ move again. -''J; % Baby-boomers always talk o about the listlessness of my " generation — the lack of com£ mitment, the need to slack. I * don t feel I have any of these ^ qualities. More than almost > anything, I need someplace I know I can go to sing along with the-Beastie Boys, to just be. So I took an ad out in the newspaper, saying that I needed someone non-anal. The first person who responded was my current housemate. She's a little loopy, but independent and strong: In other words, she's a Pledge in the house and actual- lot like me. We apartment-hunted ly used it. I'm flighty; she was together, and soon discovered "grounded." After a few weeks that being young and trying to of dishes in the sink and gunk underneath the refrigerator, she find a place in Burlington means getting ripped off. Jj Landlords figure f f l MB mom and daddy ' I are paying the rent, ^^ and so they charge you ungodly amounts of money for places tore up the lease we had cowhere rat turds litter the floor. signed and kicked me out. My We wanted sunshine, garden first thought was "bitch," folspace, kitty-cats. We got darklowed by a slew of even more descriptive words. And then I Continued on page 18

Wednesday Evening Poetry Reading Series

McKenzie Hams Roland & Sons Spiral Sliced Hams Native Lamb - Racks and Legs Crown Roasts of Lamb or Pork Pork Schop of Vermont no-nitrate Hams

Enjoy an evening with published Vermont poets and free refreshments! Wed. 4/3 7 pm

Daniel Lusk Ken Schexnayder

Wed. 4/10 Angela Patten 7pm Linda Young the

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3,1996

Call 862-6244 ( T D D ) for more information.

BOOK RACK

Champlain Mill Winooski 655'0231

SEVEN

DAYS

SHELBURNE VILLAGt SHOPPING PARK / 9 8 5 - 8 5 2 0 MON-FRI 8 - 8 / SAT 8 - 7 / SUN 9 - 4

page

M C H V , Burlington, 7 - 8 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Kegister, 8 6 5 - 2 2 7 8 . ' T H E D A T I N G G A M E ' : Attention bachelors and bachelorettes: T h i s updated stage version of the old television show offers free food, cheap beer and lots of laughs. C l u b Metronome, Burlington, 6 - 8 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 .

O thursday dance

OUT ON A LIMB: Alan Turing broke the secret "code" that helped win World War II. He broke another code by being openly homosexual. The Champlain College Players tell his tragic story next Wednesday at Alumni Auditorium. Renaissance. Abernathy Room, Starr Library, M i d d l e b u r y College, 4 : 2 0 p.m. Free. Info, 3 8 8 - 3 7 1 1 .

words

Wednesday

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BZGINS

music

CONTEMPORARY PIANO E N S E M B L E : Four great jazz pianists — James W i l l i a m s , Harold M a b e r n , M u l g r e w Miller and Geoff Keezer — play tribute to their M e m p h i s - b r e d musical mentor, Phineas N e w b o r n Jr. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $ 1 2 - 2 1 . 5 0 . Info, 8 6 - F L Y N N . T h e pianists speak at 147 M a i n St. at 6 : 3 0 p.m.

d a n c e C O N T A C T I M P R O V : You need gravity — and guts — to participate in this weekly kinetic convergence. M e m o r i a l A u d i t o r i u m Loft, Burlington, 7 : 1 5 p.m. $ 1 . Info, 8 6 0 - 3 6 7 4 .

f i l m P O L I T I C A L F I L M SERIES: Two C r a i g Baldwin films are screened, one on C o r o n a d o s search for the Seven Cities of Gold, the other about southern African colonialism. Billings Theater, U V M , Burlington, 7 : 3 0 p . m . Free. Info, 862-3361. J A P A N E S E F I L M SERIES: Tokyo Story shows in the Fireplace Lounge, LivingLearning C o m m o n s , U V M , Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 6 5 6 - 4 4 7 7 .

a rt

A R T L E C T U R E : K y m Pinder examines the relationship between illustration, writing and politics d u r i n g the H a r l e m

iava

P O E T R Y R E A D I N G : National Poetry M o n t h kicks off w i t h a double reading by Daniel Lusk and Ken Schexnayder. Book Rack, W i n o o s k i , 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. 'REFLECTIONS ON NATURE': David Budbill, author of Judevine, is the featured environmental writer. North Lounge, Billings, U V M , Burlington, 7 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 4 3 4 - 4 0 7 7 .

etc

E C L I P S E V I E W I N G : T h e physics department hosts an "open observatory" viewing of the lunar eclipse — weather permitting. Science Center, M i d d l e b u r y College, 6 : 3 0 - 9 p.m. Free. Info, 3883711. W O M E N ' S STUDIES LECTURE: Fabiola Bazo talks about female entrepreneurship in developing countries at a lecture entitled "Getting a Piece of the Pie ... and Choosing the Flavor." Memorial Lounge, W a t e r m a n Building, U V M , Burlington, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 6 5 6 - 4 2 8 2 . A F R I C A N S Y M P O S I U M : T h e work of M i d d l e b u r y students and faculty is featured in this week-long s y m p o s i u m entitled "Tradition and Transformation: Education and Gender in Sub-Saharan Africa." Dan W i e d n e r "observes the practice of medicine" today at 4 : 1 5 p.m. in the C h a t e a u Grand Salon. T h e film Faces

of Women From the Ivory Coast shows at Twilight A u d i t o r i u m at 9 p.m. M i d d l e b u r y College. Free. Info, 3883 7 1 1 ext. 5 7 2 5 . 'PANIC & ANXIETY DISORDERS': W o r r y is one thing. C h r o n i c anxiety is another. A psychologist explains how to get help in Burgess Assembly Hall,

D A N C E R S & M U S I C I A N S OF BALI: A 15-piece gamelan, orchestra accompanies a troupe of master dancers from Indonesia. Spaulding Auditorium, ' Dartmouth College, Hanover, N . H . , 8 p.m. $ 1 6 . 5 0 . Info, 6 0 3 - 6 4 6 - 2 4 2 2 . S W I N G D A N C E : Roll back the rug at Cafe No No, Burlington, 7 p.m. Donations. Info, 8 6 5 - 2 3 1 7 .

a r t D R A W I N G S E S S I O N : Artists get inspiration from a live model. Artspace, Burlington, 6 : 3 0 - 9 : 3 0 p.m. $ 5 . Info, 862-2898.

words

' L Y R I C S F O R L I T E R A C Y ' : A poetry reading series benefits the Central Vermont Literacy Program. Geof Hewitt reads his verse; a father-daughter team recites Greek passages from the Iliad. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 2 2 9 - 0 7 7 4 . ' N E R U D A IS N O T D E A D ' : T h e Chilean poet featured in II Postino gets a second reading. Check out the poetry and music at Cover To Cover Bookstore, Randolph, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 7 2 8 - 4 2 0 6 .

kids

B U R N P R E V E N T I O N : Fletcher Allen Health Care teaches basic burn prevention to three- to- five-year-olds. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Register, 8 6 5 - 7 2 1 6 . P A R E N T S A N O N Y M O U S : Terrible twos or teens? Get support for parenting while your kids play next door. Burlington, 6 - 8 p.m. Free. Info, 8 0 0 - 6 3 9 - 4 0 1 4 .

etc A F R I C A N S Y M P O S I U M : See April 3. How do African and African-Atlantic art, music and philosophy compare? Author Robert Farris T h o m p s o n speaks at Twilight Hall, 4 : 3 0 p.m. D A N KILEY: World-renowned landscape architect Dan Kiley talks about the University of Vermont and its relationship to Burlington. See story, this issue. 101 Stafford Hall, U V M , 12:20 p.m. Free. Info, 6 5 6 - 2 0 0 5 . P O L I T I C A L P R I S O N E R SERIES: T h e Native Forest Network hosts a five-week series about corruption within the U . S . prison system. Today is National M u m i a Publicity Day. Billings Theater, U V M , Burlington, 6 - 9 p.m. Free. Info, 8639256.

N A F T A L E C T U R E : C a n a d i a n and Mexican perspectives on the North American Free Trade Agreement are the subject of this discussion by Maxwell C a m e r o n . 2 0 3 Torrey, U V M , Burlington, 3 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 6 5 6 - 4 3 0 6 . 'A N E W V I E W O F M A D A M E C U R I E ' : T h e author of Don't Call Her Madame talks about the successes and humiliations of Nobel Prize-winning scientist M a r i e Curie. Warner Hemicycle, M i d d l e b u r y College, 7 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 3 8 8 - 3 7 1 1 . N . O . W . M E E T I N G : T h e Central Vermont chapter meets to organize around feminist issues, including legislative intervention, lesbian awareness and a film festival. Memorial R o o m , Mont-pelier C i t y Hall , 7 p.m. Free. Info, 2 2 9 - 9 5 8 8 . 'UNCOVERING VERMONT B R I D G E S ' : Art historian Ben Pfingstag shows slides of covered bridges in a lecture entitled, "In T h e e W e Truss." Noble Lounge, Vermont College, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Donations. Info, 8 2 8 - 8 7 4 3 . V O O D O O PRIESTESS SPEECH: Carole Demesmin discusses traditional Haitian spirituality and its relationship to healing, psychology, arts and nature. Goddard College, Plainfield, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 4 5 4 - 8 3 1 1.

Salon. "Education and Gender" gets discussed at Twilight A u d i t o r i u m at 7 : 3 0 p.m. FIELD N A T U R A L I S T T R I P : Field naturalist students and the public w a l k with Vermont State Naturalist Charles Johnson. Meet at 129 Marsh Life Science

MEDICAL HISTORY LECTURE: Sarah Dopp examines the idiosyncratic history of medical technology in "Of Flasks, Frogs, Cuvettes and Colorimeters." Hall A, Given Building, U V M , Burlington, noon. Info, 864-6357. EVENING H I L L W A L K : W a l k seven hilly miles with the Green M o u n t a i n C l u b . Meet in Montpelier, 5 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Register, 2 2 3 - 7 0 3 5 . O U T R I G H T M E N ' S G R O U P : Gay and bisexual men under 2 3 talk about their issues. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 8 6 5 - 9 6 7 7 . C A N C E R S U P P O R T G R O U P : People dealing with cancer get support based on the work of the National Wellness C o m m u n i t i e s . Cancer Wellness Center, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Register, 8 6 5 - 3 4 3 4 .

friday

music

S A N T O O R C O N C E R T : Santoor superstar Shivkumar Sharma plays the Concert Hall, M i d d l e b u r y College, 8 p.m. $ 8 . Info, 3 8 8 - M I D D .

kids

S O N G S & S T O R I E S : Robert Resnik entertains at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 1 1 - 1 1 : 4 5 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

etc A F R I C A N S Y M P O S I U M : See April 3. "Southern African Rock Art" is the topic at 4 : 1 5 p.m. in the C h a t e a u Grand

—

Building, U V M , Burlington, 11 a.m. 4 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 6 5 6 - 0 4 2 3 . 'KAYAKING T H E V E R M I L L I O N SEA': E m m y A w a r d - w i n n i n g filmmaker Jonathan W a t e r m a n presents a slide show detailing his 8 0 0 - m i l e voyage along the Baja peninsula. Billings Theater, U V M , Burlington, 7 - 8 : 3 0 p.m. $ 5 . Info, 2 4 4 7037. SINGLES MEETING: "The New Burlington Singles" meet at O'Brien

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saturdays: DJ Dan Shaw 8 0 2 863-2343 apri1

3,1996

Civic Center, S. Burlington, 8 p.m. $ 3 . Info, 9 8 5 - 9 1 7 1 . SENIOR S W I M : Folks over 50 exercise in an 86-degree pool. Y M C A , Burlington, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9622. OUTRIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual and questioning

CLOWN AROUND TOWN: You don't have to like mime to dig Avner the Eccentric — a lovable fool who was once arrested in Paris for "public buffoonery." He entertains Saturday at Memorial Auditorium.

reads and signs her work. Chassman & Bern, Burlington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 862IDEA.

etc A D I R O N D A C K T R I P : Get a great view of the high peaks from the Mossy Cascade Trail. Six moderate miles bring you to the top of the world. Meet at U V M Visitor Parking, Burlington, 8 a.m. Free. Register, 8 6 3 - 1 1 4 5 . S N O W S H O E HIKE: Bring layers, lunch and liquids on a 12-mile hike up Camels H u m p via the Banforth Ridge Trail. Meet in Montpelier, 8 a.m. Free. Register, 223-7035-

' C R U M B ' : T h e crazed cartoonist behind "Fritz the C a t " is the focus of this Terry Zwigoff documentary. Twilight Hall, M i d d l e b u r y College, 4 & 7 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 3 8 8 - M I D D .

O Smusic aturday ' S O I R E E M U S I C A L E ' : T h e Vermont Youth Orchestra benefits from an eclectic concert featuring vocalist Elizabeth Von

w o r d s

A R T S E S S I O N : Artists and photographers get a new angle on their art with a live model. 150 Elm St., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 2 2 9 - 5 2 5 3 .

k i d s E A S T E R A C T I V I T I E S : T h e Easter B u n n y reads a story and gives gifts to kids under eight. Book Rack, W i n o o s k i , 10 a.m. Free. Info, 6 5 5 - 0 2 3 1 .

etc

friday, April 5 ANNIE GALLUP C D Release P a r t y .

CAREERS UNLIMITED 865-4842

Saturday, April 6 LESSAMPOU "Bessie S m i t h meets Bonnie Raitt,"

apri1 1

3,1996

£ .V r , L

Q tuesday i l m

CALL US

6. WHIG WHAM; Hard to

i m a g i n e a m e d i a blitz before the boob tube. But prior to the W a r of 1812, pro-war Jeffersonian Republicans a n d the Federalists battled it out in Vermont* w i t h newspapers, broadsides a n d pamphlets-. Karen Stiies C a m p b e l l revisits c a m p t o w n days next W e d n e s d a y at M e m o r i a l Lounge.

— P.R.

Announces

18 HOLES FOR 1996!

Bring us this ad by 5/1/96 MW^I SAVE: New Single $ 345+ tax Memberships New Junior $ 70+ tax Membership New Full Time College Student $ 190 + tax • One 18 hole green fee at 1/2 price P.O. Box 612, Enosburg Falls, VT 1-802-933-2296

New Bulgarian Opera Giorgio Lalov, Artistic Director

Verdi's

AVDA Fully Staged Production! Company of 140 Artists Coming directly from European Tour of 50 cities

Champlain

Sofia Symphony Orchestra Chorus of New Bulgarian Opera

WEDNESDAY,

MAY

MEMORIAL 8

TICKET

INFORMATION,

1996

AUDITORIUM VT

CALL

802-863-5966

BOX

SEVEN

OFFICE:

a DAYS

Players

by Hugh Whitemore

BURLINGTON, FOR

College Present

BREAKING THE CODE

Soloists of Bolshoi Theatre, Metropolitan Opera, Bulgarian Operatic Artists, and Artists of other European Theatres

211 College St. 658-5061

\ J » R I G H T T O L I G H T : Audience aside, what sets a rehearsal apart from a performance? Costumes. Sets. Lighting — it takes more than one on-off switch to suspend disbelief. T h e Lamoille C o u n t y Players offer an illuminating lesson on theatrical lighting in a twopart workshop that starts Saturday at the H y d e Park Opera House.

ENOSBURG FALLS COUNTRY CLUB

American Debut Tour

BURLINGTON

a t City Market

E M O T I O N S A N O N Y M O U S : Stressed out? People with depression, anxiety and other emotional problems meet at the O'Brien Civic Center, S. Burlington, 7 : 3 0 p.m. Donations. Info, 6 6 0 - 9 0 3 6 .

9 pm, $6 Sunday, April 7 MATT MCGIBNEY & RAY LEWIS 11 am, free

f • KAYAKING T O C O R T E S : A modern-day Odysseus navigating sea snakes and whirlpools. Jonathon Waterman definitely has the right last name. H e shows slides of his latest acquatic adventure — a two-month paddle along the Baja coast — Friday at the Greerf Mountain C l u b in Waterbury.

L A T I N O F I L M FESTIVAL: The Mambo Kings is based on the Oscar

Compatibles

job coaching • resume writing

Backbone 9 pm, 8)6

B L O O D DRIVE: Share a pint with a stranger. Vermont Department of Health, Burlington, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Or United C h u r c h , Underhill, 1-6 p.m. Donations. Info, 6 5 8 - 6 4 0 0 . T E E N H E A L T H C L I N I C : Teens get information, supplies, screening and treatment for sexually-related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3 : 3 0 - 6 : 3 0 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 8 6 3 - 6 3 2 6 .

continued on page 16

with a great resume written by

f 0 T R U S S M E : Forget about M a d i s o n C o u n t y . Vermont has w a y better covered bridges than our farm friends in Iowa. Ben Pfingstag talks trusses, crossbeams a n d high water in a T h u r s d a y slide lecture at the W o o d Gallery in Montpelier.

C O M M U N I T Y BAND PRACTICE: Musicians of all levels rehearse with the W a t e r b u r y C o m m u n i t y Band. W a t e r b u r y Congregational C h u r c h , 7 p.m. Free. Info, 2 4 4 - 6 3 5 2 .

A F R I C A N S Y M P O S I U M : See April 3. A panel discusses education at 10 a.m. in the C h a t e a u Grand Salon.

A Better Way to Meet 863-4308

,0 PUSHING PABIO: Poetry w a s the best thing that t:vei happened to Pablo Neruda. T h e next best thing was II Postino — the movie cast Philippe Noiret as the Chilean bard of romance and revolution. Neruda lives on in verse and story T h u r s d a y night at Cover tp Cover Bookstore in Randolph.

music

R E A D I N G : Judith Kitchen reads creative nonfiction. Vermont Studio Center Lecture Hall, Johnson, 7 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 6 3 5 - 2 7 2 7 . ITALIAN R E N A I S S A N C E D I S C U S S I O N : T h e last of a six-part reading series covers The Prince, by Niccolo Machiavelli. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 7 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 2 2 3 - 3 3 3 8 .

"Get a Job!" Open Mike every Wednesday, 9 pm, Free

mmusic onday

' S O U N D S OF N E W O R L E A N S ' : T h e video series continues with Feet Don't Fail Me Now, written by renowned folklorist Alan Lomax. Clockhouse, Goddard College, Plainfield, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311. O P E N R E H E A R S A L : W o m e n bring their vocal chords to a harmonious rehearsal of the C h a m p l a i n Echoes. Knights of C o l u m b u s Hall, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 8 6 4 - 6 7 0 3 .

t i l m

youth are invited to an ongoing support group meeting. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 8 6 5 - 9 6 7 7 .

c r d s

Voigt, author of Kyrie and Two Trees,

t h e a t e r

l i s t

etc

P O E T R Y R E A D I N G : Ellen Bryant

AVNER T H E E C C E N T R I C ' : This one-man circus juggles magic, mime, acrobatics and tomfoolery. Memorial A u d i t o r i u m , Burlington, 2 p.m. $ 1 0 . 2 5 . Info, 86-FLYNN. ' 1 2 X 1 0 ' : Twelve monologues by ten local theater artists showcase Tracy Girdich, Jordan Gullikson, Cherie Tart and Walter Zeichner. Cafe No No, Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 865-2317. LIGHTING W O R K S H O P : The Lamoille C o u n t y Players host a how-to lighting workshop for w a n n a b e techies. Dress warmly. Hyde Park Opera House, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 8 8 8 - 7 7 9 3 .

d o

( • A S T R O N O T : Does the comet H y a k u t a k e launch your shuttle? T h e n check out the total lunar eclipse W e d n e s d a y night at M i d d l e b u r y College. T h e heavenly drama starts at s u n d o w n , w h e n the observatory opens to the public. T i m e to turn in the tube for a tclcscopc.

' S U I C I D E P R E V E N T I O N ' : Parents and people w h o work w i t h preteens and teens are the target audience for a prevention program led by two social w o r k ers. Burgess Hall, Fletcher Allen Health Care, Burlington, 7 - 8 p.m. Free. Register, 8 6 5 - 2 2 7 8 . C O L C H E S T E R LEGISLATIVE F O R U M : Colchester residents and workers grill their senator and reps on Statehouse issues. H a m p t o n Inn, Colchester, 7 p.m. $ 6 for non-residents. Register, 6 5 5 - 1 4 1 8 . AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL S E S S I O N : Save a life for the price of a stamp. All materials are provided at a letter write-in for victims of h u m a n rights abuses. Unitarian C h u r c h , Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 8 6 4 - 4 8 3 8 . B U S I N E S S BREAKFAST: Entrepreneurs share ideas over coffee. Cafe No No, Burlington, 7 : 3 0 a.m. Free. Info, 8 6 5 - 1 2 0 8 .

CASTER

B A L L R O O M D A N C E : Swing, waltz and fox trot at South Burlington M i d d l e School, 8 p.m. $14 per couple. Info, 862-0190. C O M M U N I T Y D A N C E PARTY: T h e H i g h l y Acclaimed String Band plays at the Westford School. Family games start at 7 : 3 0 p.m. A family contra dance begins at 8 p.m. $ 3 . Info, 8 7 8 - 7 6 0 1 .

t o

P R E S C H O O L O P E N H O U S E : Robert Resnik tells stories and plays a few of his m a n y instruments. Green M o u n t a i n Shalom Preschool, Ohavi Zedek Synagogue, Burlington, 10 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 8 6 4 - 0 2 1 8 . S T O R Y T I M E S : Children 18 months to three years old listen at 10:30 a.m., those three to five at 9 : 3 0 a.m., and kids over four get a chance at 3 : 3 0 p.m. S. Burlington Library. Free. Info, 658-9010. - "

sunday

dance

k i d s

' S U R V I V I N G DENALI': E m m y Awardw i n n i n g filmmaker Jonathan Waterman presents a video-slide show of his Alaskan adventure by dogsled, foot and kayak. Billings Theater, U V M , Burlington, 7 - 8 : 3 0 p.m. $5. Info, 2447037. C R O S S - C O U N T R Y SKI: T h e Green M o u n t a i n C l u b goes to Bolton Valley for some late-season skiing. Meet at U V M Visitor Parking, Burlington, 9 a.m. Trail fee. Register, 8 6 2 - 3 1 0 0 . L O N G T R A I L HIKE: T h e Green M o u n t a i n C l u b hikes four easy miles. Meet in Montpelier, 9:30 a.m. Free. Register, 2 2 3 - 5 6 0 3 .

Trapp, Swing Shift, and Dr. Jazz and the Dixie Hot Shots. Also check out the silent auction and dessert buffet. Radisson, Burlington, 7 p.m. $ 2 0 . Info, 658-3199. Q U A R T E T T O GELATO: T h i s versatile quartet of instrumentalists plays classical, traditional and gypsy music. Spaulding A u d i t o r i u m , Dartmouth College, Hanover, N . H . , 8 p . m . $ 1 6 . 5 0 . Info, 603-646-2422. W O M E N S I N G : W o r l d harmonies inspire the local a capella group. Ripton Coffeehouse, 7 : 3 0 p.m. $ 3 . Info, 3 8 8 - 9 7 8 2 . L I V I N G S T O N TAYLOR: T h e comic creator of tunes like "I Hate C o u n t r y Music" plays piano, banjo and guitar. Briggs Opera House, W h i t e River Junction, 6 & 8 : 3 0 p.m. $ 1 6 . Info, 2 9 5 5432.

Alumni Auditorium 8 PM April 10-13/Wed.-Sat. Tickets: $6 Adults $4 Students/Seniors For More Information Call 860-2707 Recommended for Mature Audiences page

continued

from page

POETRY READING: Angela Patten and Linda Young read from their works. Book Rack, Winooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231.

Hijuelos novel about the colorful life of a Cuban musician. 4 1 3 Waterman Building, U V M , Burlington, 7 p.m. Info, 6 5 6 - 1 3 6 0 .

c r d s

IRISH P O E T R Y SERIES: Seamus Heaney called Paul Muldoon "one of the eras true originals." T h e Irish-born Princeton professor reads in the Farrell Room, St. E d m u n d s Hall, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. W R I T E R S W O R K S H O P : Wordsmiths of all persuasions are invited to this weekly gathering. Cafe No No, Burlington, 7 : 3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 865-5066. '

k i d s OBSERVATION DAY: Parents sit in on classes at the, Lake Champlain Waldorf School, Shelburne, 8 : 3 0 - 1 0 : 4 5 a.m. Free. Register, 9 8 5 - 2 8 2 7 . ' T H E GREAT A N I M A L C O N T E S T ' : T h e Green Mountain Guild presents a play in which a variety of exotic animals compete for "the most special gift." Fletcher Library, Burlington, 3 : 3 0 - 4 : 1 5 p.m. Free. Info, 8 6 5 - 7 2 1 6 . S T O R I E S : Listen at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 6 5 5 - 1 5 3 7 . S T O R Y H O U R : Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 8 9 3 - 4 6 4 4 .

e t c B L O O D DRIVE: See April 8, Spaulding High School, Barre, 8:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m.

Q Wednesday d a n c e M A S T E R C L A S S : Movers of all ages and abilities use breath, rhythm, and tension and release of energy to understand the technique perfected by choreographer Jose Limon. Simultaneous classes at Johnson State College and jhe Contemporary Dance and Fitness Studio in Montpelier, 7 p.m. $8. Register, 6 3 5 1318 and 2 2 9 - 9 4 0 8 .

t h e a t e r .'BREAKING T H E C O D E ' : After he cracked the secret German military code for the Allied Forces, mathematician Alan Turing was arrested in England for homosexuality. T h e Champlain College Players act out his tragic story at Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College,

e t c ' T H E DATING GAME': See April 3. B L O O D DRIVE: See April 8. Burlington High School, 8:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. P O L I T I C S & PROPAGANDA: T h e military objective of annexing Canada placed the Champlain Valley in the middle of the W a r of 1812 — theoretically. Karen Stites Campbell reports from the research front at Memorial Lounge, U V M , Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4389. VOLUNTEER T R A I N SOUND OF MONEY: Elizabeth Von Trapp is ING: If you love history one o f dozens donating talent to the annual and would like to be a tour guide for the museSoiree Musicale. Proceeds support the um, sign up for six Vermont Youth Orchestra and other Friends weeks of training at the Rokeby Museum, o f Music f o r Youth programs. Ferrisburgh, 5:30 p.m. Free. Register, 877-3406. Burlington, 8 p.m. $6. Reservations, 'IS T H I S GLOBAL W A R M I N G ? : 8 6 0 - 2 7 0 7 ext. 2518. Could U.S. beaches be under water in ' R O M E O & J U L I E T ' : Students star in another 30 years? Hear the facts, the the timeless Shakespearean tragedy of uncertainties and the options for action. young lovers driven to suicide by authorMontshire Museum of Science, Norwich, itarian parents. Johnson State College, 7 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 6 4 9 - 2 2 0 0 . p.m. $5. Info, 6 3 5 - 1 3 1 0 . ' M I S U N D E R S T O O D A N I M A L S ' : Bats aren't all bad. Learn how to handle living f i l m creatures with bad reputations at JAPANESE FILM SERIES: See April 3. Cultivating Dreams: College Women Living Vermont Institute of Natural Science, Woodstock, 4-5 p.m. $4. Register, 457Alone in Tokyo shows tonight. 2779. ' T H E W O M E N O U T S I D E ' : This film looks at the women who work the brothels and bars around U.S. military bases in South Korea. Billings Theater, U V M , Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info,

Calendar is written by Clove Tsindle.

862-3361.

Submissions for calendar, clubs a r t

and art listings are due in writing on the

GALLERY TALK: Burlington photographer Elizabeth Messina talks about her experiences in India. Fleming Museum, U V M , Burlington, 12:15 p.m. $2. Info, 656-0750.

xv c

Thursday before publication.

c l a s s e s art & craft

parenting

SHELBURNE CRAFT SCHOOL: 5 Harbor Rd., Shelburne, Info, 9 8 5 - 3 6 4 8 .

'GROWING W I T H BOOKS': Wednesday. April 10, 6 - 7 : 3 0 p.m. Edmunds M i d d l e School, Burlington. Free. Register, 8 6 5 - 2 2 7 8 . Parents learn

Adults and kids select from classes in painting, drawing, figure, portrait, wood, clay, fiber and jewelry.

how to start their children on a lifetime love of reading.

business W O M E N ' S SMALL BUSINESS PROJECT: Tuesday, April 16, 9-11 a.m. Wheeler School, Burlington. Free. Regis-

ter, 658-0337 ext. 372. Interested in being your own boss? Old North End residents get an introduction to business programs.

'BEGINNING M O T H E R G O O S E Y Three Wednesdays, April 3-17, S. Burlington Library. Free. Register,

658-9010. Get great picture books, and ideas for introducing literature to your young children.

taichi

dance

TAI C H I : Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. & 8-9 p.m. Food For Thought, Stowe, $10.

MODERN/JAZZ: Beginners, Thursdays, 7:15 p.m. Slow-intermediate, Tuesdays, 7 p.m. Intermediate-advanced, Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m. Olympiad, S. Burlington. $9. Info, 985-5216. j W

Info, 253-4733. John DiCarlo leads ongoing classes.

television

Selzer leads ongoing classes.

T V P R O D U C T I O N : Weekdays, 56 : 3 0 p.m. Channel 17, Burlington. Free. Register, 8 6 2 - 3 9 6 6 ext. 16. Learn

television production skills by working on the live studio show.

T H E O T H E R SIDE O F DARKNESS: Friday, April 5, 7 - 9 p.m. Pathways to Well-Being, Burlington. Free. Info, 388-1640. The series contin-

theater -

ues with "Getting the Good Stuff: Remembering Perfect, Healthy Being. "

' L I G H T I N G FOR T H E T H E A T E R ' : Two Saturdays, April 6 & 13, 3 p.m. Hyde Park Opera House. Free. Register,

health

888-7793. An informal workshop gives the backgroundfor planning, designing, setting and operating lighting for a play.

' S U P E R M A R K E T S M A R T S ' : Tuesday, April 9, 7 p.m. S. Burlington. Free.

tour

increases your supermarket savoir-faire.

yoga

meditation

YOGA: Daily, Burlington Yoga Studio, 174 M a i n Sr. Info, 658-YOGA. Beginners can start anytime. Classes are

VIPAASSANA M E D I T A T I O N : Sundays, 10-10:50 a.m. Burlington Yoga Studio. Free. Info, 6 5 8 - YOGA.

offered in Iyengar, Kripalu, Bikram and Kundalini styles. YOGA: Tuesdays & Thursdays, 8 a.m. Wednesdays, 5 : 3 0 p.m. Food for Thought, Stowe. $6. Info, 2 5 3 - 4 7 3 3 .

Bill Petrow guides the meditation. MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambala Center. Free. Info, 658-6795.

Kate Graves leads an ongoing class.

Non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist practices are taught.

SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style. Send to: S E V E N D A Y S , P.O. Box 1164,

r d s

Burlington, V T . 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 .

' R E F L E C T I O N S O N NATURE': See April 3. Stephanie Kaza, author of The

Or fax 8 0 2 - 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5 .

Attentive Heart: Conversations with Trees

e mail: sevenday@together.net

reads tonight.

LIST

yOUR

CLASS:

a io to 20 word

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f e a t u r i n g s o m e of Vermont's finest artists, including: Elizabeth V o n Trapp Dr. J a z z a n d the D i x i e Hotshots . . . and m a n y more!

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Ki r t

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ft and eggs: They were bound to end up together. In what other medium can you place the raw material on a pedestal and be done? Just hold one in your hand and gaze — eggs are beautiful. Nature has given any egg artist a running start. That didn't limit the imagination of Carl Faberge, the famous Russian goldsmith who took a simple form and embellished with fervor. By the time he was done making his ornate, jewel-encrusted eggs as Easter gifts for the czarinas, his work was a symbol of both the grandeur and the decadence of the Russian royal family. Those dazzling jewels must have really pissed off Marx and Engels.

grow into, an annual affair. "In medieval times, eggs and onions were used as dowry," she says. "They're a symbol of love, eternity, life, the universe..." No wonder so many kids like to paint them up. "They're very spiritual," Martin says, gazing at a flock of Ukrainian eggs whose insides have been sucked out and outsides painted. "They have life." In her artistic egg hunt, Martin tracked down a talent named Keith Mailhotte. He doesn't have a lot to say about what eggs mean, but does enjoy

"I'm into fantasy art. It's probably my way of getting out of reality." -Keith

Lisa Martin sees eggs in a different light. As the manager of a Johnson gallery called By Vermont Hands, Martin is bringing together the work of three Vermont egg artists in an informal exhibit she hopes will

Mailhotte discussing his craft. "Not many people have the patience to work with eggs," he says. "It's tedious, but it's worth it. Mailhotte's process is uncommon. First, he vacuums out the insides of unhatched

GOOD EGGS

irtist Keith Mailhotte is on a roll

ostrich, emu, turkey and duck eggs — chicken eggs are too thin to work with. Following his hand-drawn pencil lines, he begins to carve or etch the shells with a dentist-worthy 300,000 rpm drill. Three to seven hours later, a pristine surface has been transformed into mesmerizing patterns that approach fine lace in their intricacy. The finished product is often glued atop a candle stick and sold for $30 to $250. Each type of egg presents

Make Their Dreams Come True...

With one, an etching gives the

Con'tined

on page

Third Annual! Vermont Antiquarian Spring Book Fair

Host a teenager from the former Soviet Union for the 1996-1997 School Year! FAST RELIABLE BEST PRICES Deliveries A U OVER Chittenden County B O R N TO DELIVER

Share your home with a high school age student like Irina or Anya and learn about a different culture! Project Harmony students speak fluent English, come with medical and dental insurance, and spending money.

appearance of a claw-like hand holding the egg. The application of bright white duck shells makes for striking fingernails. "I'm into fantasy art," says the 30-year-old artist. "It's probai bly my way of ! getting out of < reality." ; When ^ Mailhotte first began working with eggs, he actually took the time to painstakingly paint the SHELL tIFE Keith insides. That Mailhotte ^ntexproved too piates his permit orb. tedious even for his high level of patience, but, different artistic challenges and like Faberge, he sometimes opportunities. With emu eggs, a places a surprise inside. Once of white exterior gives way to a his pieces is home to a pewter dark green and then light green wizard cradling a bright green layer. Ostrich eggs are durable jewel. Originally, the wizard enought to support a human's held a crystal ball that mysteriweight, and Mailhotte doesn't ously disappeared. Mailhotte bother trying to drill all the way would rather people didn't through their shells. Instead, his know that he improvised a swirly surface patterns of white replacement in the form of a and cream provide an elegant, fish-tank pebble. understated effect. But clever as Mailhotte's Others have a distinct "dunobjets de fantasie may be, to date geons and dragons" appeal.

Chandler

40+ New England Dealers April 14,1996 • 10 - 4:30 Ramada Inn, So. Burlington, VT Info: Greg Glade, 802-878-8737

Upcoming Fairs ! August 4 • 9:30 - 4 Pomfret School, Pomfret, VT Info: Harry Saul 802-457-4050

Sept 22 • 9:30 - 4 Equinox Hotel, Manchester, VT Info: Duane Whitehead 802-463-9395

Admission $2. Children under 16 free. The best in books, prints, and ephemera. Vermont Antiquarian Booksellers Association

Our students have earned their experience. You can make it happen. Call us today.

PROJECT H A R M O N Y Waitsfield, VT •

1-800-545-7734

One of New England's largesi volunteer community theatre groups proudly presents Rodgers & Hammerstein's

Patty Larkin

in concert

A superb slide guitarist, this singersbngwriter is comparable to the best of Bonnie Raitt and Lucinda Williams.

A n A m e r i c a n Classic! Live at the Flynn for 6 performances,

Friday- April 12

April 11-14

8:00pm • Reserved seats $14 & $12. Call 802-728-9133 for information. Box office open April 8-12, 12:30pm til 4:00pm. Tickets also available at the King & I in Randolph. Part of the Call to Rising Star Series underwritten by Northfield Savings Bank and Randolph Village Pizza. Program sponsored by NYNEX, Holden Agency, WNCS and the Vermont Council ot the Arts.

Come and enjoy Sumy with the l-rinye on Top. People Will Say We're in Love. I Can't Say No, Oh. What a Beautiful Mornin', Kansas City. Oklahoma! and many more! ^"IL

Tickets: $17, $14, and $7

(Half price for seniors and siudenis at the Saturday matinee.) For tickets call the Campus Ticket Store or the Flynn Theatre Box Office at:

(802) 656-3085 or 86-FLYM. a p r i

3,1996

I NpoiMird ii Ctrl lit

i WPTZ-TV

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Miller's Landmark • 29 Church Street Burlington • 860-4646

Randolph SEVEN

DAYS

page

mmmm

,. mm t w e moved in. And just as I was starting to feel settled, I Continued from page 13 had some "friends" up from college. They proceeded to play ness, empty cans of Bud and loud music, throw up a lot, incontinent rodents. have sex a lot more, and ash And then, "like a flash, like their cigarettes in my housea vision, burnt across the mate's houseplants. I woke up clouds" came our happy apartment: a second floor two-bed- . one morning and nearly tripped over a friend of mine room with windows, gardenall wrapped up naked with the kitty space, and a lovely, white, same yukty guy she'd been tryiron clawfoot bathtub. And ing to fix me up with the night hey, we could afford it. Yahoo!

A PLACE CALLED Hi

mi before. I felt ail dirty and violated. My roommate was pissed; the house plants were smothered. Not a good situation. I also discovered I was going to have to mend my messy ways, because 1 really am more of a slob than the average joe. Being neater is a compromise for me. So is spending less money so I can pay the

We wanted sunshine, garden space, kitty-cats. We got darknessy empty cans of Bud and incontinent rodents.

rent. But I've signed a lease and my housemate has become a good friend. As I reach for a box of tissues to dry the tears from my self-pity marathon, my housemate's cat gently licks my hand to make sure I'm okay. I realize that, come hell or highwater — or more rude, nauseous, nymphomaniac houseguests — I'm in this place until November. And that's pretty okay with me. •

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well-made martini is more than a cocktail. It's a poem, a sensation, a moment suspended in time. Novelist Herman Wouk described the drink as a "cold cloud." Paul Desmond of the Dave Brubeck Quartet aspired to make his alto sax "sound like a dry one." Over the years the martini has inspired more legends, literature and debates than any other mixed drink, and, fortunately for those of us who enjoy the icy clear elegance of this elixir, the martini is back. Everywhere are signs of a cocktail renaissance — coffeetable books, bartender contests, magazine articles. But the quintessential social drink is back with a difference. Very few of us have a stomach for liquid lunches, and we're shocked to watch Nick and Nora belt back six martinis in The Thin Man. Today's martini is about drinking less and drinking better. When a bar-

ni" was understood as a drink of gin and vermouth — in equal parts. Prohibition helped the martini's popularity, because it was much easier to make gin in a bathtub than to make whiskey. After Prohibition, the quality of gin improved and martinis got drier and drier, meaning less and less vermouth. Bartenders began employing silly devices like eye droppers to dispense no more than a soupcon of vermouth. Winston Churchill is famous for wanting his martini so dry that "glancing briefly at the bottle of vermouth across the room" was enough. Richard Nixon prefered an "in and out" — the vermouth is poured over the ice, swirled about and tossed out. Generally accepted proportions are six parts gin to one part vermouth for a dry martini, but many go even drier still. Ordering a martini fits right in with our contemporary lattetrained sensibilities. It's a customized act that exercises our right to "have it our way." To begin with, you need to choose

There i s something about a Martini, A tingle remarkably pleasant; A yellow, a mellow Martini; I wish that I had one at present. There is something about a Martini, Ere the dancing and dining begin, And to tell you the truth, I t i s not the vermouth I think that perhaps i t ' s the gin. Oscar Wilde tender sets down a shivering cold glass of top-shelf gin, made with a whiff of vermouth and a perfect olive sitting calmly at the bottom, it gives one pause. You cannot belt back a martini — the shape of the glass alone prevents this. If an alcoholic beverage can be meditative, this is it. The martini has a long, venerable history. Many early versions were stick-sweet gin-based concoctions, but by the dawn of the 20th century, the "marti-

gin or vodka. It used to be that gin was assumed and vodka was some uncouth Americanization called a "vodkatini." But now it's just as cool to order a vodka martini. After all, James Bond liked it that way — stirred, not shaken. Next you need to choose a brand. Whatever you do, make sure it's top-shelf — there's no collins mix here to hide the raw taste of cheap booze. And a garnish — traditionalists insist on a twist of lemon or pimento-

The old "in and outn is not what you think stuffed green olive and no toothpick. Auntie Mame forewent the olive because she felt it took up too much room in the glass, but many still enjoy its gin-soaked saltiness toward the bottom of the drink. Specify a "Gibson" and you'll wind up with a few cocktail onions — loved by some and deplored by others for the way the vinegar from the onions taints the gin. The field is wide open now. There are some great martinis out there featuring anchovy-stuffed olives and a swish of Cointreau, tiny shrimp and pepper vodka — and the mixologists list goes on. Purists still find the question "on the rocks or straight up" an insult — a martini on the rocks is not a martini at all. As the ice

melts, it dilutes all the elegance and decorum of the drink. The crux of a martini is how to make it teeth-chattering cold without diluting the gin. That's where the bartender comes in. Look for a bartender who moves quickly without rushing. You can't dawdle while making a great martini, but you can't hurry things, either. Begin with the glass — it must be wellchilled, usually with ice. Then the shaker — steel works better than glass and it should be filled with ice before the vermouth and gin are added. At least eight good shakes are usually enough, unless you're a stirred-not-shaken type. I've heard the martini described as a city drink, not a thing to be found in bucolic

country settings. And although this may be mostly true, there are well-made martinis to be found in Vermont. Sneakers sports a great glass and a classically well-made "in and out." Bartenders at the Backstage use this neat little shaker that makes things beautifully cold without dilution. I love the big cushy stools at the Sheraton, where you can sip among strangers. Jake's bar has that "Cheers" feel to it, and the bartender sets down an incredibly large martini, which, if you don't mind it setting on ice for a bit, can make for a lot of fun. You might also try One Flight Up at the airport, and imagine yourself getting on a plane to some exotic place — with in-flight beverage service, of course. •

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o p e n i n g * CHEAP ART SHOW, works by Mark Montalban. Last Elm Cafe, Burlington, 862-3361. Opening April 4, 5-8 p.m. DEADLY S I N S , group mixed media show. Cafe No No, Burlington, 865-5066 Opening April 5, 6-8 p.m. LEARNING AND ART, Lessons Taught by UVM Students Teaching Art Education under Supervision of Tom Brennan. Francis Colburn Gallery, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-2014. Reception April 8, 5-7 p.m. P A I N T I N G S , PRINTS AND D RAW I NGS , by Nicole D'Agata. Red Mill Gallery, Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. April 4-9. Closing reception April 9, 5:30 p.m.

ongoing PUJA AND PRASAD: A PORTRAIT OF I N D I A , photographs by Elizabeth Messina. Fleming Museum, University'of Vermont, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 28. RURAL WOMEN/RURAL WOMEN'S I S SUES . black and white photography by Martha Lynde Sheperd. Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-0750- Through June 2. V E L V I S , group show of paintings on black velvet. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 865-6227. Through April 21. TELL YOUR MOTHER WHAT YOU D I D : PAPER CONSUMERS' CONFESSIONAL and LOW-LEVEL RADIATION BOOTH, installations by Beverly Red. Burlington College,. Burlington, 862-9616. Through May 1. GENTLE V I STAS, pastels and watercolors by Sally Loughridge. Isabels on the Waterfront, Burlington, 865-2522. Through May 15. COWBOY UP! New England rodeo photography by Ivey Hardy. Green Mountain Power, S. Burlington, 864-1557. Through April. PASTEL LANDSCAPES of northwestern Vermont by Russian-born Leshek Kulnis. Green Mountain Power, S. Burlington, 864-1557. Through April. GROUP SHOW BY V I V A (Visible in Vermont Artists), and SHI RDAH RUGS FROM CENTRAL A S I A , Fletcher Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through April. ART: KID TESTED, MOTHER APPROVED, third annual high school art show, TW Wood Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through April 17. SPANNING: A R E C O N C I L I A T I O N OF 0 PPOSITES, honors thesis paintings by Karen Weiner. Francis Colburn Gallery, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-2014. Through April 5. OPTICAL I L L U S I O N , 3-D glasses by Lauren Brownell. Muddy Waters, Burlington, 862-3133. Through April. ABSTRACT WATERCOLORS, by Lauren Brownell. Speeder & Earls (Pine St.), Burlington, 862-3133. Through April. I N S P I R E D BY DREAMS: AFRICAN ART FROM THE DERBY COL- ART OR ARTIFACT? LECTION, objects and textiles from sub-Saharan Africa. Middlebury College Matisse did it. Picasso Museum of Art, Middlebury, 388-3711. Through June 2. did it. Artists worldwide STAFF ARTS & CRAFTS SHOW; photography, p&htihgf q u i l t s ^ a Vo6d-> have plumbed the Afriworking by the staff of Middlebury College. Center for the Arts, Middlebury can psyche — or at least the artistry — to explore College, Middlebury, 388-3711. Through April 19. SCULPTURE by Phil Lonergan. Red Mill Gallery, Vermont Studio Center, the depths of their own n-eativity. This spring the Johnson, 635-2727. Through April 3. Middlebury College POTTERY & PRINTS , by Eleanora Eden and Amy Huntington, respectively. Museum of Art exhibits Vermont State Craft Center at Frog Hollow, Middlebury, 388-3177. Through April "Inspired by Dreams: 21. . African Art from the WINTER. SPRING, SUMMER, FALL, photographs by Joseph Bornstein. Derby Collect-ion, "from the treasures of collector Wing Building, Burlington, 864-6485. Through April 17. Darby — THE WORLD I N OUR EYES , exhibit by members of the Living/Learning Art Charles including this female figof Photography Program. The Gallery at Living/Learning, University of Vermont, ure from Sierra Leone. Related events include Burlington, 656-4200. Through April 11. the colleges annual SubCELEB RATE ART, student and teacher art Saharan Africa Sympwork from Rutland area schools. Chaffee osium this weekend, feaCenter for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775- turing a slide-lecture by 0356. Through April 19. Africanist Robert Farris WISH YOU WERE HEAR! I F B U I L D - Thompson of Yale Uni- , INGS COULD TALK, Architecture and versity. For more inforCityspace Revisions, by John Anderson. mation, call 388-3711, Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington, 864- ext. 5007. 8040, ext. 121. Through April 19. . 1 0 0 YEARS OF S K I I N G ART, paintings, posters, photography, works on paper and sculpture. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Through April 7. WALL SCULPTURES, composed of found pieces of metal, by Clark Russell. McAuley Fine Arts Center, Trinity College, Burlington, 6580337. Through April 29. NEW D RAW I NGS , by Denis Versweyveld. The Gallery at 266 Pine St., Burlington, 862-9986. Through April 6. LINES DRAWN Relationships, SURROUNDINGS: LANDSCAPE AND BEYOND Group show of nature, death and transcendence Firch°USe inform the work of Nicole D'Agata, a ^ f ^ "T^So^ x ^ T ? ^ staffArtist-in-Residence at the Vermont Gallery, Burlington, 8604792. Through April 6. Studio Center. Her work is on display NEW P A I N T I N G S , oil and acrylic by Karen Dawson. Lakeside Gallery for just six days this week at the Red A " S t u d i o > Burlington, 865-1208. Through April. Mill Gallery. Above, "Travellingfrom A FINE L I N E , drawings by Miriam Adams, Aron Tager, Karl Nine," charcoal on paper. Stuecklen and Richard Weis. Furchgott SourdifFe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through April 11. PHOTOGRAPHS from Vermont and foreign travel by Joseph Bornstein. Daily Bread Bakery, Richmond, 8646485. Through April. THE PRINT AND BEYOND: ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG E D I T I O N S 1 9 7 0 - 1 9 9 5 , mixed-media exhibit by one of America's most influential artists. Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, Burlington, 6560750. Through April 19. A R T I S T S FROM FRANKLIN COUNTY Paintings and drawings by 10 artists in the G.R.A.C.E. program. ' Key Bank, St. Albans. Through April. RECENT SCULPTURE & DRAWING, by Matthew Chinian. No. B.I.A.S. Gallery, North Bennington, 4477754. Through April 27.

SEVEN

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april

"3,1996

GOOD EGGS

Contined from page 17 they have appeared in public only around Easter time. Nevertheless, he has faith that there are other means of marketing eggs as art. Martin agrees. "It's a spring thing for most people," she admits, "but people that collect eggs don't just do it around Easter." Are there really that many egg collectors out there? Mailhotte is hoping to create the market with tempting goose-egg Christmas ornaments, ostrich-egg purses or quail egg jewelry. Such a unique range of products should mean he won't face much competition. Never mind selling

Sunday, April 28 9a.rn.-5p.rn, This year, Stephen & Burns stylists a n d spa p e r s o n n e l are d e v o t i n g their e x t r a o r d i nary talents t o create a m o r e b e a u t i f u l w o r l d . Please share o u r v i s i o n . Experience: H A I R C U T S • M A S S A G E • FACIALS • M A N I C U R E S • PEDICURES A l l p r o c e e d s f r o m p r e - s c h e d u l e d haircuts a n d spa services w i l l g o t o G i v e t h e Earth F o u n d a t i o n , a n o t - f o r - p r o f i t o r g a n i z a t i o n t h a t supports e n v i r o n m e n t a l a n d social action worldwide. This year, G i v e t o t h e Earth w i l l d o n a t e to: C h i l d W e l f a r e League of A m e r i c a • C o n s e r v a t i o n I n t e r n a t i o n a l Endangered Species C o a l i t i o n • Peace at H o m e Pediatric A I D S F o u n d a t i o n • Sierra C l u b Legal D e f e n s e F u n d So get a head start. M a k e a n a p p o i n t m e n t today.

STEPHENOTRNS

eggs sunny side up on toast; Mailhotte wants to put them on the fireplace mantle as an aesthetic treasure. For a time, Faberge succeeded at that same goal, before he was run out of Russia and died in exile. Mailhotte is hoping Vermont residents and tourists receive his magnificent oblong orbs with a tad more enthusiasm. • •

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ARIZS (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): If you were living in Europe 1300 years ago, youcl likely have spent the early days of April performing ritualized love-making in the plowedfields,hoping thereby to propitiate the growth of the crops in the coming growing season. I think it's a shame this practice has fallen into disuse, and I'd like to heartily recommend it to you in the week ahead. You don't, of course, necessarily have to donate your tantric magic solely to the tomatoes, zucchinis and beets. In fact, it'll probably have an even more salutary effect on the psychic "crops" you want to cultivate during the next five months. But I still suggest you do the holy deed in a garden or meadow. TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): I'd like to let you know about our self-help group, Thumbsuckers Anonymous. Unlike all other 12-step programs, our organization celebrates the habit its namedfor.We protest the taboo against adult thumbsucking and advocate the disciplined use of this forbidden comfort in the eternal quest for more nurturing. As chief spokesperson for Thumbsuckers Anonymous, I'm formally inviting you to join us in this bold experiment in do-it-yourself therapy. It's high time you learned to be proud of how you console and cherish and nurse yourself. GCMINI (May 21-June 20): A long time ago in a land far away, a wanderer who looked and acred and felt a lot like you cowered outside the gates of a shining palace and howled, "I'm hungry. Why doesn't anyone notice me? I need a hug. I'm afraid of the dark. Why can't I come in?" And of course no one responded. And the wanderer trudged away, defeated. This week that same traveler will stand outside the gates of another shining palace. Only this time the cry will be very different: "Heyi I'm no longer willing to be hungry and lonely and afraid. Let me in this instant." And the gates will open. The exile will be over. CANCER (fune 21-July 22): For several years, Maharishi Mahesh has sent teams of mystics into selected North American cities, having instructed them on how to lower the crime rate through collaborative meditation exercises. Statistics indicate their efforts may be working. I thought that maybe we could try a similar group meditation this week, only with a more immediate and selfish purpose. (Don't worry about karmic rcpercussions. The planetary forces are willing to indulge us Cancerians right now.) Mark 3 p.m. EST, April 6 on your calendar. For five minutes, no more, I ask that everyone who reads this horoscope murmur the following prayer: "I fervently pray that all Cancerians everywhere will soon meet the people that'll help them climax their unfinished dreams." ' I £ 0 (July 23-Aug. 22): I hesitate to bring up the word faith. Most likely it means nothing to you. It's either been drained of all its juice by fundamentalists and New Agers, or else you've become so cynical that it's not even interesting enough for you to make fun of. But on the remote chance you'd consider the possibility that faith might be a vivid wondforyou again someday, I'm asking you to re-examine it. What if faith has an actual power to materialize improbable wishes? What if it alters your brain chemistry in such a way as to enhance your talents and attract the exact resources you need? And best of all, what if it gives you license to be outrageously passionate? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Breakthrough is less likely to come your way via ibodieNhan byct?tn^

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"haloes. How they catafyze &e quaiuum leap is less limy to he by carrying you on their backs than by flinging banana peels in your path. Breakthrough, in other words, may look a lot like breakdown atfirst.This is normal and healthy, not a consequence of weird karma. -In other words, don't have a nice day; have a real day. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Ride the snake, Libra I know diis might at first glance appear to be rather extreme advice to offer a dignified person such as yourself. But that's as it should be, because this is an extravagant, unreasonable week. So like 1 said, rule the frigging snake. I mean undo your top two buttons, fling off all your jewelry, and jump on. And don't hop off until you have blown your cover, totally messed up your hair, and scratched your most unscratchable itch. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Astrologers say that the scorpion is the animal totem for the unevolved members of your sign — meaning those of you who love to sting so much you'll even resort to stinging yourself when there are no other victims handy. EvolvedScorpios, on the other hand, are ruled by the eagle, which in the Western mystery' tradition is a symbol for the sublimation of compulsive lust into useful magic. In the real world, of course, die distinction between the two types isn't so clearcut. Most of you are a blend of evolved and unevolved. I will say, however, that in the next six weeks you'll have an excellent chance to increase the eagles power at the expense of the scorpions.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A fertility symbol: Get yourself a new one. Not because I think you should jack up your horniness levels any higher than they already are. Not because there's any cosmic mandate for you to boost your chances of conceiving a child. But rather because you're so close to tapping into a more active and intimate relationship with your own creativity. So be on the lookout for one of those Hindu statues of copulating deities, or a figurine of a pregnant goddess, or any totem, talisman or toy that drives your imagination into a tizzy of fecund agitation. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Even if you don't think you need a cure, here's my prescription. Place yourself outdoors at the site of a luxurious- amount of precipitation. If your area's experiencing a dry spell, drive to a place that's not. Travel hundreds of miles if necessary. Once you're there, stand with your legs shoulder-length apart. Thrust your arms wide as if in invitation to the heavens. Then turn your fact up, open your mouth as wide as it'll go, and drink that wet stuff for as long as it takes — until your soul feels moist again. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): World records for speed (running, swimming, car-racing) belong to Aries folk in disproportionate numbers. Pisceans dominate the competition at poetry slams, and Leos win the most beauty contests. You Aquarians, on the other hand, tend to excel at feats like balancing beer botdes on your head while hopping on one leg and reciting Lewis Carroll's "Jabberwocky" poem. The problem is, of course, that unique events like this just aren't staged very often. This week, however, should be full of them. I predict you'll collect more victories in the next seven days than you have in the last two months. PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): This week Saturn skulks out of your sign, wrapping up a journey it began in the winter of 1994. During these last two years youve no doubr endured more than your fair, share of the depressive, restrictive, baleful influences that the ringed planet is famous for. But lets hope you've also taken maximum advantage of the discipline, structure and responsibility which Saturn has offered you in abundance. I would bet a thousand ea^k: feathers that you have more authority now than you did when this all started. D

SEVEN

DAYS

april

3 , 1996

THE HOYTS CINEMAS

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Review SGT.

BILKO

Steve Martin is the Godfather of Dumb. Way back when Jim Carrey, PauJy Shore, Chris Farley and Adam Sandler were still snapping towels in the very locker rooms which would nurture their humor, Martin — the biggest stand-up cornic in history — had already made the leap to movies with the prototype of the dumb comcdy, The Jerk. Rarely in the years since has dumb been that brilliant. A case in point: Sgt. Bilko, a by-the-numbers big-screen version of the '50s television show about an irrepressible military con man. The film, in fact, is the definition of uninspired lunacy. As if to underscore that fact, Martin is re-teamed herewith that other one-time wild and crazy guy, Dan Aykroyd, who reports for duty as the base commander over whose eyes Bilko is constantly pulling the wool. Whatever you do, under no circumstances should you compare their scenes together in this movie with their work on "Saturday Night Live" without a supply of powerful mood elevators close by. Far from the worst of these unnecessary TV-to-big-screen exercises (The Beverly Hillbillies, The Brady Bunch, Dragnet, Gar 54 Where are You?, The Addams Family, Casper, The Flints tones, etc.) — well, maybe not all that far R E P O R T I N G FOR DOODY — this pale and middle-aged imitation of Stripes isn't poorly written, acted Steve Martin enlists in the latest big-screen IV remake. or directed. There are a handful of laughs. Its just that the film is so predictable, routine and bloodless, a smooth, cartoon-like parade of rehashed stock "situation and genre characters — the fat soldier who can't do push-ups, the boob base commander zippy trailer sound bites. It is hard to believe that at one point in his career Martin seemed poised to be something like the next Woody Allen. He had acted in several innovative films and, with Roxanne and L.A. Story, had begun to write and direct them as well. That he would wind up just a few years later stuck in celluloid clunkers like Mixed Nuts and A Twist of Fate, forced to do sequels to formulaic tearjerker remakes like Father of the Bride II is the last thing I would ever have expected. Well, maybe not quite the last. It once seemed even less likely that the day would come when the smartest man who ever played dumb would enlist in a movie just this side of stupid.

PReviews

FAITH FU L Whose career do you think is in the saddest shape: Cher, who plays a woman whose husband puts a contract out on her, Ryan O'Neal, the homicidal hubby, or Chazz Palminteri, who plays yet another thug (she also wrote the screenplay, based on one of his plays)? Don't look for this comedy to do much to reverse the professional fortunes of any of the above or, for that matter, of director Paul Mazursky.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THESE PICTURES? Above are six photos of six of this country's best-known actors. Their faces are unmistakable, but less recognizable, perhaps, is what five of these six performers have in common professionally. What we'd like from you this week is the name of the star who doesn't belong, along with the reason why... WHO? WHY?

Don't

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to watch

"The Good. The Bad & The Bo}{o!" on y o u r local

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS BARRY ANDERSON MARY CONNORS CONRAD TURC0TTE BILL CROFT MIKE iNCZE BRUCE PARENT MARKPATRY LISAFENICHEL J0AH WILSON BOB PRbVEHCHER

> -

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LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS I . A L A N KING 2. RICK ROSSOVICH 3. BRUNO KIRBY 4. DYLAN MCDERMOTT 5. CHRISTINE LAHTI 6. KEVIN POLLAK

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK

SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495 FAX: 658-3929 BE SURE 10 INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW 4-6 WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES.

SHORTS

CITY OF LOST CHILDREN (NR) From French filmmakers Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro {Delicatessen) comes a phantasmagorical tale of a mad scientist, children who dream and a half-witted circus strongman. DIABOLIQUE** In this dumb, clumsily stylized remake of the 1955 French classic, Chazz Palminteri gets cute with the wrong cutie, whereupon his wife (Isabelle Adjani) and mistress (Sharon Stone) team up to teach him a lesson in tough love. . FARGO**** A black comedy set in the Great White North, this true story about a kidnapping gone awry is considered by many to be the best thing yet from the brothers Coen. Frances McDormand stars. A FAMILY THING ( N R) James Earl Jones and Robert Duvall co-star in this widely praised story about a couple of long-lost brothers brought together by fate. RICHARD I I I CNR) Ian McKellen, Annette Bening and, yup, Robert Downey, Jr. star in Richard Longraine's interpretation of Shakespeare's classic — set this time in 1930s England. THE POSTMAN**** Michael Radford's adaptation of the Antonio Skarmeta novel, Burning Patience. The late Massimo Troisi stars in this story of the friendship between a simple mail carrier and a certain exiled Chilean poet. H'^^k OLIVER & C O . * * * Disney's re-release of its animated all-canine take on Dickens' Oliver Twist. ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN I I * * * Charlie Sheens made his share of dogs, but this is the first time he's played one. The actor lends his voice to the tale of a deceased pup who's grown bored with the afterlife and returns to earth temporarily. PRIMAL FEAR(NR) Richard Gere Alert: This guy has an uncanny ability to read through hundreds of scripts and find the one with no redeeming value whatsoever. Will he keep his strike-out streak going with this story about a flashy but ethically iffy defense lawyer? Have no fear. EXECUTIVE DECISION*** Evidently believing there were artistic nuances left unexplored in Passenger 57, producer Joel Silver decided to make a movie with exactly the same premise. The result, starring Kurt Russell, is a surprisingly watchable couple hours of smirkiness. One hundred percent sarcasm-free, whiteknuckle fun. SHANGHAI TRIAD (NR) Zhang Yimous critically acclaimed mob drama was frozen out of Oscar contention by the Chinese government, which didn't approve of its politics. Now's your chance to see what all the hubbub was about. Gong Ii stars. MAN WITH A P L A N * * * * Vermont filmmaker john (Vermont is For Lovers) O'Briens latest effort features an actual dairy farmer named Fred Tutde who, finding himself unable to pay his taxes, decides on a new career: Congressman. A wonderfully whimsical mix of fact and fiction — in its tenth smash weeki THE BIRDCAGE*** Another trip to remake city. This time Mike Nichols updates the cross-dressing classic La Cage aux Folks. Robin Williams and Nathan Lane play a gay couple who go straight for the closet when twii- . ... . » • ' • £>._..»..-_ j 1 -•••- parents by for a visit. iiilli

rating

scale:

SHOWTIMeS Films run Friday, April 5 through Thursday, April 11.

h a r v e s t market CELEBRATES Soups: Dinner: Vegetables:

Breads & Rolls: Dessert:

EASTER

Creamy Wild Mushroom, Ginger Carrot Chicken & Vegetable Country Baked Ham with a Maple Mustard Glaze Roasted Spring Lamb with Garlic and Rosemary Asparagus with a Lemon Vinaigrette Maple Glazed Carrots Garlic Mashed Potatoes Rosemary Roasted Potatoes Green Beans with Hazelnuts and Roasted Shallots Mesclun Salad with Maple Balsamic Vinaigrette Hot Cross Buns Molasses Oat Bread & Rolls Strawberry Cheesecake Harvest Chocolate Cake Strawberry Rhubarb Pie Fresh Fruit Tarts Old Fashioned Bread Pudding

Open until 1 p.m. Sunday, April 7 Order early to ensure an easy and delicious holiday. 1031 Mountain Road, Stowe

a p r i

3,1996

253-3800

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Happy Gilmore 12:30, 3:15, 7:10, 9:35. Dead Man Walking 12, 2:45, 6:30, 9:10. Jumanji 12:15, 3, 7, 9:30. Broken Arrow 3:30, 6:50, 9:20. Babe 11:45, 1:35. Evening times Mon-Fri, all times Sat & Sun. CINEMA N I N E Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 Faithful* 11:40, 2:10, 4:35, 7:05, 9:50. Sgt. Bilko 11:45, 2:15, 4:40, 7:10, 10:05. Oliver and Co. 12, 2:20, 4:45, 7. A Family Thing 11:35, 2:10, 4:30, 7, 9:45. Primal Fear 12:35, 3:35, 6:35, 9:30. All Dogs Go To Heaven 2 11:50, 2:05, 4:40. Diabolique 7:10, 10. Executive Decision 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:35. The Birdcage 11:20, 2, 4:30, 7:05, 9:50. Up Close and Personal 12:50 3:50, 6:50, 9:40. Down Periscope 9:55. These showtimes begin Wednesday, April 3.

* * * * *

N R«

£ t

not rated

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road, CO - < S. Burlington, 863-4494. Primal Fear 1, 3:20, 7, 9:35. Sgt. Bilko 12:15, 2:30, 4:30, 7:20, 9:40. Oliver and Co. 12:30, 2:20, 4:15, 7. Diabolique 9:45. Up Close & Personal 12:45, 3:30, 6:50, 9:20. Executive Decision 4:05, 6:45, 9:30. Homeward Bound 2 o 12,2:10. Evening shows Mon-Fri. All shows Sat & Sun. unless otherwise indicated. These showtimes begin Wednesday, April 3. NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. City of Lost Children 1:20, 4, 7, 9:30. All Dogs Go To Heaven 2 12:30, 2:30, 4:30. Richard III 12:20, 7:10. Shanghai Triad 2:40, 4:50, 9:40. Fargo 12, 2, 4:20, 6:50, 9:20. The Postman 6:40, 9:10. The Birdcage 11:45, 2:15, 4:45, 7:20, 9:50. Man With a Plan 1, 3, 5:10, 7:30, 10.

i—i

THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. The Postman 2 (Sat & Sun only); 6:30, 8:45.

STARTS FRIDAY. Times subject to change. Please call theaters to confirm.

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R E T A I L SALES « 2 5 - 4 0 hours a week* Fashion, Design, and Retail. Experience helpful. TEMPO H O M E FURNISHINGS 985-8776. EAT..EARN...CALL! Telephone work from home...Complete T r a i n i n g . 3 0 0 to 8 0 0 0 / M o . W i l d Health Food. 4 9 6 - 3 2 6 1 . L O O K I N G F O R competent, responsible artisan bakers b a k e r y a n d pastry. C a l l a w a r d w i n n i n g Lilydale Bakery, 6 5 8 5896.

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5896. OFFICE SPACE. Corner H o w a r d a n d Pine, shared entry, 5 5 0 sq. ft., d a r k r o o m o p t . , n/c, $ 2 5 0 + util. , avail, i m m e d i a t e l y . 865-5185/865-9263.

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35,000/YR. I N C O M E P O T E N T I A L . Reading books. T o l l - f r e e , 1 - 8 0 0 - 8 9 8 - 9 7 7 8 Ext. R - 6 9 0 8 for d e t a i l s .

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carpentry/paint REPAIRS, RENOVATIONS, P A I N T I N G , consultations, decks, w i n d o w s , doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured, references. C h r i s H a n n a , 865-9813.

business services THE INFOPHONE HOTLINE. INCREASE

U N D E R S T R E S S ? For u l t i m a t e relief, h o t - t u b , s h o w e r , m a s s a g e o r a g i f t for t h a t s p e c i a l s o m e o n e . For h e a l i n g / e n e r g y . R e g u l a r session, $ 4 5 ; e x t e n d e d session, $ 6 0 . T r a n q u i l C o n n e c t i o n , 8 7 8 - 9 7 0 8 . I n t r o session, $30.

astrology C O S M I C ** F O R C E S * L o o k to t h e stars t o f i n d o u t w h o y o u r e a l l y are. R o m a n c e & sex, love & m a r r i a g e , w o r k & career. D o y o u n e e d g u i d a n c e in y o u r life? Let a s t r o l o g y h e l p y o u . For m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n , p l e a s e s e n d r e t u r n a d d r e s s to: T h e C o s m i c Forces, P.O. Box 1 2 1 , St.Albans, V T 0 5 4 7 8 - 0 1 2 1 . LEARN M O R E A B O U T YOURSELF AND YOUR

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WATERBURY CENTER WINOOSKI, near Exit 16. I'm looking for a part-time commuting partner to share driving, get rides one way, etc. Must be at work by 7:30, can leave anytime after 3 p.m. (1973) COLCHESTER, RTE 15WATERBURY. Let's share the commute from Exit 15 to the state office building. I work 8:45-4:30, boss won't let me change it. (1898) BURLINGTON to IBM. I'm on the N2 team now and I need rides to/from work at the Main Plant from St. Paul St. Can anyone help out? (1990) MALLETTS BAY to BURLINGTON. I'm looking for a ride TO work only MWF to just off the Northern Connector. P/U around Prim/Lakeshore and drop off near Battery Park. Wd. like to get to work by 7 . a.m. Will pay. (1988) HINESBURG to WILLISTON, Exit 12. I need rides to work, start at 3 pm from Hinesburg village. I have a ride home. I'll pay, and can start a little earlier. (2011) ST. ALBANS to BURLINGTON. Hardworking and going too. I need rides in morning, about 7:30 2 home a few days a . 5:15, after my last pay for gas. (1805)

SHELBURNE to S< BURLINGTON. I for rides for a few from Shelburne Rd. to Patchen Rd., almost in Winooski. Usually have to get to work by 8:30 a.m., rides home less critical,

(2016)

BURLINGTON to MONTREAL. Artist/ Student frequendy travels to Montreal on day trips; would like to carpool. I'll help pay for gas, but I don't have a car. Any days work for me. (1972) IBM to BURL, SO END. I can get to work ok, but I need rides home at end of shift at 1 a.m. Anyone heading to near Sears able to help out? Will pay for rides. (1948) IN BURLINGTON. From South End to north of Plattsburg Ave. Let's carpool to work. My shift is 7-3:30, can't get there any later. We'll save some $ and maybe make a new friend. (1971) SHORE HAM to COLCHESTER. It's a long drive to Watertower Hill. Let's share it some time. I work 8-4:30, but I'll flex. Meet you on Rte. 7 or 22A. (1929) SO BURL. E A R S T IBM. I need morning r only to start work 7 a.m. at main plant. (1963) WATERB gton. I'd love ; FAHC, B P vanpool, but there just aren't enough people who can make the commitment. Do you want to carpool for 8-4:30 workday instead? (1937)

JERICHO to . My vanpool I'd like to form a from Jericho or the 7:30-4, but I'm fl (1062)

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RS 0N < T O > Guidelines: Anyone

me. If you are active, ambitious, & can make me work - call. 64531 IRISH COLLEEN, 52 SUMMERS, SEEKS HER EQUAL: honest, warm & passionate man for all seasons & all reasons. Love camping, swimming, dogs, travel, conversations of depth. I m 5'6", blue-eyed, larger-sized woman (20) with a heart &

SON TO range, interests, lifestyle, sdFdeseripSoh. Abbreviations may be used to indicate gendet race, idigjon and sexual preference: No explicit sexual/anatombJ laoguagp. SEVEN DAYS reserves theri$itto edit orrejectany advertise ment. ffersonal ads nwbeaabjmittedforpubwith a joyful soul. Veggie, active, adventurelicactonody by; and s ^ p a s o n s cr^r 18 PERSONAL ABBREVIATIONS A = Asian, B = Black, C = Christian, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, J = Jewish, M = Male, ND=No Drugs, NS = Non-Smoking, P= Professional, S = Single, W = White or Widowed

W O M E N SEEKING M E N WARM, WITTY, ENGAGING SWF, 40, seeks good-hear ted, intelligent, responsible N/S man, 40s to 60s to share mutual support, recreational interests, and life adventures. 64432 SWF, 27, 5'8", (PULP FICTION BEAUTY), witty, adventurous, sensitive girl who adores laughter, animals, and romance. Seeking a 'man" of the same qualities, who is physically and spiritually fit, and who doesn't take life for granted or seriously. Trust me, you won't be disappointed. 64407 NEW ADVENTURES, seeks adventurous, intelligent, secure, tall, dark-haired S W M , 23-30 for romance. 64434 SWF SEEKING 40ISH BIKER MAN FOR adventure and danger. Boots with buckles a must. I like tattoos... 64437 SEEKING SPONTANEITY! SWF, 20, likes local bands, coffee, talk. Looking for funny, open-minded S W M , 18-23 YO for hanging out with and seeing what happens. 64400 SWF, 21, LONG HAIR, BIG BROWN EYES, 5'6" looking for tall man, 21-29 who loves to laugh and make me laugh. 64458 SICK OF BEING SINGLE SWF. Very pretty, gorgeous smile, looking for tall, handsome man, 21-28. Personality, love of music very important. Give me a call. 64459 WANTED: STAR-GAZER, NATURE LOVER W I T H sense of adventure. Must be tall, attractive, and sincere, LIKE ME! ING FOR a male age 38-50 for friendship first and possibly a relationship after awhile. 64463 "MACINTOSH" woman with appealing "SOFTWARE" seeking "MACINTOSH" man with "HARD DRIVE." Lets stroll the "INTERNET," fly through "CYBERSPACE," then "CRASH 64466 HOPELESS ROMANTIC SWF, looking that knight in shining armor SWM. Do you like dinFUN, take walks, movies, shop, star gaze. So, if you are 21-27 let's talk. Must love animals. 64510 TIME W I T H when I have time! Totally committed to my children, but occasionally need companion to do things with. 64490 26 YO F LOOKING FOR a N/S M to help me get a life without getting into the bar scene.. 64491 SEDUCTIVELY SMART, SVELTE, SUPER SUSAN seeking same sleek sweet single man to sensationally serenade serendipity. 64492 exyr Healthy? Adventuresome? Party-animal? Spontaneous? Talkative? Super-duper? YouVe^got u, ADVENTURER AND PHILOSOPHER, SYBARITE AND ASCETIC - seeks man, 40s, to satisfy both selves. Be brainy and built. Be funny and thoughtful. Be wild and shy. Be ready for anything and happy with tranquility. But don't be a smoker. 64409 SWF, BLONDE, BLUE EYESrENJOYS OUTDOORS, dancing and laughing. Looking for a kind, honest, financially • secure white male with a sense of humor. 6449 4 LONELY DESIRABLE DRINKER SEEKS the lime in my vodka gimlet. 6449 5 I AM SICK OF PUTTING UP W I T H BULLSH*T. I want someone who knows the meaning of self-respect & consideration for others. 64496 SIGOURNEY WEAVER, CATHERINE DENEUVE. Been told I look like both, DWPF, 40's, loves gardens, sports, outdoors, photography, beach & wind travel and adventure, hugs and conversation, seeks NSM with twinkle in his eye, sense of humor, love of life and of me. 64507 the wild life. If you can dish it out I can take it! All you can handle. 64517 ill yo IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR 100% W O M A N , THAT'S EXACTLY W H A T YOU'LL GET. SWF, 23, blonde, blue eyes. I've got class and adventure written all over DWF^NEW T O T H E SINGLES SCENE Relationship seekers move on. Mature, funloving man only. 64521 ADVENTUROUS, W I L D SWF, 24 ISO A S W M , 25-33 to challenge me & tame

p age

2 6

some. Loves nature, animals, conversation, traveling, homesteading, books and fun. Loving men with imagination. 64563 SEEKING S W M (22-27) handsome, considerate, humorous, spontaneous, and just a great guy. LOOKING FOR LTR N/S. No earrings or tattoos. 64573 39"-23"-36"125 lbs - 5 7 " BLONDE W I T H GREEN EYES and Playboy centerfold looks and 154 I.Q. seeks men with insight, men in granite, knights in armor bent on chivalry. 64605 SWF, 28. Forgotten what it's like to have a good friend around. Looking for a person to share what life's about. Seeking a pleasant & fun friendship. Let's get together. 6 4 5 4 9 . A D V E N T U R E + F U N . SWF, 39, fuIF figured, seeking companionship & meaningful friendship. Enjoy antiques, travel, museums, long walk + symphonies. 64608 D N S W F , 43, W I T H C H I L D R E N . Hey, you're still reading! Good. Along with children, I come with humor, compassion, playfulness, truth and more. And you? 6 4 6 3 0 JOY & P R O M I S E . Let's create a deep romantic bond, a relationship that's fiery, tender, trustworthy, wise, complex & creative, ardent & adventurous, 45-55 (N/S) describes us. 6 4 6 3 1 PDWF, 46, I N T E R E S T E D IN WALKING, in-line skating, sailing, outdoor sports, dining out, movies, seeking ambitious, good-natured, funny P S M N/S w/ similar interests. 6 4 6 2 9 W A N T E D : N/S, N D , P W M with active lifestyle (rollerblading, snowskiing, snorkel, sail) to share adult friendship with D P W in search of life's pleasures. 64632 SEXY MOUNTAIN BIKING MAMA, 24, looking for HIGH energy guy (23-33) to explore back country. 64646 SWPF, 25, Blonde - Jane seeking Tarzan ( S W P M 2 5 - 3 3 ) for friendship, romance, affection, adventure and good times must like to party, act up and be a little on the wild side - let's explore the jungle called life together 6 4 6 6 4 ! STAR GAZER: PF, young-looking 4 0 s , NS, enjoys music, concerts, nature, books, passion, new places. SEEKS younger "shooting star" with his planets aligned, to explore the universe. 6 4 6 6 2 C O N F U S E D , EXPLOSIVE, EXIST E N T I A L I S T . Seeks dominating personality to tell me how to get my life together again. Help, I'm lost in outer space! (Spacey) 6 4 6 4 8

M E N SEEKING W O M E N SEEKING W O M A N W H O ' S LOVING, BEST FRIEND, W O R K S AT life, has what life takes. 64413 S W M ISO SF W H O LIKES MOVIES AT H O M E AND out, pool, camping and long country drives. I don't mind cooking or doing my share. 64414 MUSICALLY-INCLINED, NOT AFRAID TO BE A DORK, comfortable in almost any situation. 25-40 W sought by sometimes-bearded, conversational man with dark eyes and a nifty smile. 64415 " — 4 LOVER W I T H A' WIN*—~ SEXY LATIN NING PERSONALITY, good looks and great sense of humor seeks a sweetie to keep me warm on cold winter niehts. 64418 Wednesday night. Seeking SWF for fun. MAN S CHING FO CUTIE for some cuddling, partying, and just having fun. You won't be disappointed. 64424 RECIPE FOR FUN: add skiingTTFa^ laughter, theatre, music. Mix*with honesty, respect. Bake for however long it takes. 64425 — — - SPIRITUAL rS— SINCERE, WARM, W M' , 32, 5'10", enjoys sunsets, skiing, sailing, windsurfing, cycling, planting trees. ISO attractive, slender, athletic, intellectual, compassionate, politically progressive NS SWF, 25-30. 64438 S W P M , 36, SEEKING SWPF. Enjoy movies, sports, music; dancing and dining. Romantic, fun, independent, good sense of humor! Very active, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes, 5'11", 195 lbs. seeking a woman with the same qualities. If you're that woman, give me a call! 64435 PRING FEVER DAYS with niehts still cold. Walk with me on a sunny day and let's cuddle on a cold night. D W M , 42, professional, new in town seeks loving lady, 25-40 (kids are cool), fairly attractive, and classy yet down to earth with great sense of humor, for friendship and possible relationship. 64411 SPIRITUAL AND KIND-HEARTED, 36 YO veggie, attractive, communicative, active, into nature, Wicca, Siamese cats. Loves breadmaking and tea rituals. Seeks loving companion and goddess. 64433 SOME ONE W H O W ^ N T S A long-term

relationship, who likes to spend time together, watch movies, likes animals. N/S. 64430 PROFESSIONAL S W M , 38, ATTRACTIVE, FIT, educated, honest, enjoys outdoors, films, books, travel, sports; seeks similar N/S, caring, intelligent, open-minded SWPF. 64455

Personal of t h e Week M e n

.seekfncr

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EAGLES, DEEP BLUE SKY endless walks on beaches silver. Haven't slept in days, love has evil ways, bring me my mistress blue.

64541 . I |

Personal of the week wins dinner tor two at Coyotes Tex-Nex Cafe!

FRESH START, DWM, 44. Sincere, attractive. Fit with mildly cynical sense of humor. Interested in off-beat movies, music, books. Love walks in woods, trusting relationships, unconditional giving. ISO secure, outgoing, intelligent, compassionate SWF, 37-45 for friendship, possible LTR. 64456 S H M LOOKING FOR FUN TIMES. ~ 160 lbs, 5'11", black long hair, age doesn't matter. Snowboarding, good food, films. You: athletic, health-conscious but into rood ti times. 64454 good SWM::, 34 SEEKS SF, 25-33 W H O ENJOYS outdoors, hiking, running, skiing, blading, mtn. biking, etc...Looking for friendship leading to possible relationship. 64446 I ENJOY SPORTS, MOVIES, SUNSETS and rises, ATVs and like trying new things. Looking for F who likes same and is petite, Medium built. 64448 26, looking for humorous, outgoing, SWPF to share sunsets, wine and dining and time. 21-29. Don't delay; you'll yo miss out. 64450 LOOKING FOR WILD WOMEN SKIERS, especially of the 3-pin kind. Just moved here from the wild, wild west and am looking for someone to make some turns with. 64451 NS S W M , 35, 5 7 " , 178 LBS., hazel eyes. Romantic, considerate, easy-going, downto-earth guy seeks LTR with NSF who loves cats, outdoors, good food & wine, is bright and healthy. I'm ready for a serious commitment. 64452 DWM, 35, SEEKING THE IMPOSSIBLE. Honest, tolerant, fun-loving, athletic, for whatever happens. Burned too many times. No head games, this might be it! 64453 ROMANTIC LAWYER (query: contradiction in terms?) questing for cherishable querida grail jady: professional, over-educated, willowy tomboy born in 50's. Compassionate, iconoclastic quester is quasi-literate, semi-cultured, emphatically outdoorsy, quietly vibrant liberal inhabiting 6'4" slim, N/SDWM, non-equine body. (Enough "q's" already!) Quoth the quetzal soul mate: "Evermore!" 64465 SWEET, STABLE, SECURE S W M , 31, seeks sultry sophisticated SWF, N/S, special someone to share with. Sensible, sense of humor, swift response. See you soon? 64468 S W M , 32, ISO A WOMAN, (looks not important), to hold & love. Are you looking for passion? Let's meet and discover. 64469 S W M , 28, SEEKS SWF, 24-28 to share intellectual conversation, outdoor endeavors, and romantic trysts. Serious replies only, please! 64472 SIONAL. Outgoing, spontaneous, enjoys outdoors, good listener who likes to be always doing something. Seeks fun, outgoathletic SF, 18-30. 64502 SECURE, GREAT SHAPE, 5'10"), sick of being single looking for SWF, 26-35 who's into having nothing but fun; windsurfing, fly fishing, camping, dining, movies, etc. 64501 BIZARRE, HYPERACTIVE, DELUSIONAL SEX MANIAC seeks SF with similart qualities. 64503 qualm I'M A SEMI HEALTH N U T W I T H black curly hair and I love to travel. You are honest, drug-free N/S vibrant F with love for life. 64478

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S W P M SEEKING SWF TO SPEND TIME W I T H . Share stories, have fun inside or out, doesn't mind a traveler but com back to cuddle. 64479 will always come ALL I WANT IS SOMEONE I C A N T RESIST. I can't just give you the world, but we could earn it. Business partner/love. Lets go! 64480 M M SEEKING COMPANION FOR OVERNIGHTS IN BURLINGTON. Plenty of experience at the art of love. See p'lVORCED V o U N G EARLY 4 water-skiing, eating out, walks, dogs, cars, travel. Fit, 6'2" ISO exciting, fit, sificere woman to share good times. 64163 S W M , 40, NEVER MARRIED SEEKS SWF FOR intellectual pursuit of chamber music for flute and guitar. Guitars my gig. Clarinet or soprano sax works too! Box 007 BIKER, SMOKER, BROKEN HEART BROKEN HARLEY. Need a woman to mend both. Harley is a '67, biker is a '62. S W M SEEKING ALL NON T R A M P S 23-27. Must be good-looking and have healthy body and mind. 64161 DOORSY-ADVENTURE TYPE. Seeks F, 22-35 who shares my interests. Like dancing, dining^^movies^&: theater. 64485 LTKET exercising, tan lines, I LI thongs, hard bodies, smiles, sports, beaches, beer, travel, shopping, long wet kisses, driving, almost all food. 64486 wng, movies, n S W K 22YO PROFESSIONAL SEEKS ACTIVE F willing to try most anything. I enjoy outdoor activities, yet enjoy renting a movie. Also enjoy partying and going out. 64487 W I T H A PLETHORA OF INTERESTS wants to find a F with cooking skills. Stay at home and bear many children! 64488 to help get over winter blues. 20-38 N/S. Size unimportant; it's what's inside that makes you beautiful. 64489 KNIGHT IN A R M O R ! S W M , 19, romantic, caring and sensitive. I am looking for a woman who I can spoil. 64506 BEARDED PIRATE (smoker) seeks petite, outgoing, fun to be with lassie, 24-40YO for boating, passion, beard rubs, much more. Good looks, good cbuild. Call. 64512 HER BLUE EYES AND GOLD HAIR, forged in the north with mine over a thousand past years. Her molten soul, come weld to mine. (20-37) 64511 CARING, SENSITIVE, ALL-AROUND NICE GUY looking for a friend and maybe more, age 20-25. 64535 NICIAN W H O CAN FIX A PC IN A FLASH ISO a tall, athletic parryer 21-30 YO for good times, fun in the sun, and uiet evenings. I am a cutie pie. Call! '537 EAGLES, DEEP BLUE SKY, endless walk? of beaches silver. Haven't slept in days, love has evil ways, bring me my mistress blue. 64541 HOPING FOR A FAIR WEATHER SAILING and rollerblade partner for sunset rendezvous. I'm a mid-40s S W M who needs to be active. 64547 S W M , 26 5'10", 180 LBS. Enjoys dancing, movies, sports and playing pool. Seeking adventurous and spontaneous SWF, 21-30 for fun and friendship, then, who knows what?? 64549 SAILOR, MID-40'S, S W M , ENJOY the best years of our lives together. Let's sail & ski into the sunset - looking for SWF to share the fun. 64550

OUTDOORS, and enjoy home-made nights inside call and help me enjoy my last four weeks in Burlington. 64553 I'M A QUIET, RESERVED KIND OF GUY. I'm looking for Michael Douglas' Demi Moore. Lets do it in the office. 64555 I AM A TREE STAND ING "TATLAND STRONG. I'm waiting for the right girl to comee alone along and climb clin me. 64557 90^SlvTOuN TAWTvTANTOOKING FOR MY MOUNTAIN W O M A N to hike, bike and share some time together inside and out. Come hang out on my mountain. W H O ' S HANDY W I T H A CHAINSAW. Animals, land and home matter. Looking to romp, cook, sup and share. Do you speak Queb ecois? 64565 SEARCHING FOR A N - H O N E S T ATTRACTIVE SF with a positive attitude and healthy lifestyle to build a LTR with WANTED ' LIFE^BREELHNG PARTNER to lovingly co-create expressive, enlightened little beings. Requirements: health, big heart, brains, creativity, beauty. Money would be nice. Me? SM, 38, artist, educated - former Nice Jewish Boy From Scarsdale - I offer what I seek, and more. 64571 SM, 33, UNDERSTANDS THET UNFLAPPABLE yet mind. May y< sopoforic . seem solemn, but highly to the gMy contagious ._ fact that solitude sucks! Seeking that female libertine who can deduce me. 64561 O U T D O O R FRIEND: D W M , 52, SEEKS female companion for cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, hiking, bicycling &C canoeing in the Adirondacks & Green Mountains. 64477 dependable, doesn't smoke, may neecTalignment sometimes, steers to nudist resorts, seeks fun passenger with minimal baggage for long trip. 64546 SWM/24,165 LBS, LET'S GO HIKING, biking, dancihg, you name it, I'm there. 64544

A Better Way to Meet 863-4308

CALL US

Compatibles ATHLETIC, ATTRACTIVE, LOVES ANIMALS. 23 YO looking for a woman who LOVES animals and the outdoors and will be honest. 21-26 YO. 64604 D W M , 34, 5'10", 175 LBS. Attractive, sensitive and fun-loving. Enjoy hiking, biking, movies, dancing, conversation, laughing, seeking S/DF, 28-36, attractive with similar interests, characteristics. 64600 BORN ON S E C O N D DAY OF SIXTYNINE. Been rising ever since. IF you are tall and want it all, your heart I shall convince.. Honestly. 64601. 040UI THE DANGEROUS TYPE. S W M , 33, smoker seeks petite W, 24 to 40 YO to emotionally bond, physically spoil. Many interests including passionate kisses, cuddling, slow-dancing, beard rubs. Too dan-erous? v_.all. Call. 64602. gerousf LOOKING FOR A BIT OF EVERYTHING: Excitement, knowledge, laughter. Saab lovers only. 64606 SEEKING PETITE FEMALE for conversation, 519. no blues brother. Let's record beautiful music together. Let me climb up the ladder of your yoi love! Call now! 64586 LET'S S W I M INTASSION'S OCEAN, dance at sunrise, play hooky and grab the horizon. Elizabeth Dole need not respond. 64594. KNIGHT IN A R M O R ! S W M , 19, romantic, caring, and sensitive. I am looking for a woman who I can spoil. 64506. FLY BOY BY DAY Mega byte man by nite. Looking for F to get up there and work her way down. dow 64574 BONTX...JAMES BOND. Loves movies, skiing, blading, cycling and most other outdoor activities. Seekine NS SF, same likes. How about sweating, dinner and a movie? "This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship." 64576 I CAN M A K E T O U T A T J G H T T ^ 7 T 3 ^ ~ you the time of your life. Looking for SWPF who is looking for a SWPM MAN! 64576 25, 6', HAZEL EYES, SLIM, ENERGETIC, like motorcycling, mountain biking, pool, walks and smokin' sunsets. Seeking fun female who enjoys a Green Mountain Boy. 64580 EXPERIENCED MAN, 341 looking for warm, affectionate F who enjoys the best of everything. Not compulsive, but adventurquality. 64582. ous, and likes5 quality. SINGLE MANSEEKING COMPANY two to three nights a week. Willing to have fun and experiment! 64587. :xperi I WANT TO HEAR IT LOUD! Rock climber a definite bonus. Spanish, very sweet, intellectual conversations about social concerns. is. Ju Just for kicks. 64585 I \H\NT TO REBOUND W I T H DIGNITY. No long-term, no pain, no responsibility. Let's brew beer, hang curtains and shop for my new car together. 64583 young straigh into crossdressing needs help with make-up and dancing. SEEKS sensitive, adventurous WF for friendship and possible relationship. If you're into cuddling and being held, calf FUN'lQVi'NG EASYGOING D W P M 36, 6'2", 195, dark hair, blue eyes looking for SPF, 25-40, friendship 1st. to go out and having fun with. 64590 S W M , 28, N/S. into Jethro Tull, The Dead, etc. Love the outdoors. Looking for SF, 26-30 to get into hiking and outdoor activities with. 64607. S W M 7 3 5, 5 T V r 6 5 T B S 7 H i k f n ^ k n i g r dancing, dining! ISO S/DWF, 25-38 with old-fashioned values. 64449 S W P M , 36, A T T R A C T I V E , A T H L E T IC, H U M O R O U S who enjoys skiing, scuba-diving &: paragliding ISO SWF, 20-40 who is vivacious, fit, attractive, and seeks adventure. 6 4 6 1 0 2 6 SEEKING S W F . Spontaneous, vibrant, tender, active outdoors type to spend quality time together. If this sounds like you, get in touch. 6 4 6 1 1 S W M , LATE 3 0 S. Active, enjoy the outdoors, seeking younger, taller, smarter woman with attitude. Interested? Give a call. 6 4 6 1 2 SEDATE 3 3 5 ' 1 1 " . Interested in hiking, reading, swimming, history, religions of the world. Not interested in indoctrination. Passionate for the right woman. Skinny-dipping women a plus. 6 4 6 1 3 S W M . W A N T E D : Someone carrying no baggage, either with them or in their head. Artistic, intelligent, not fat but a little meat never hurt, sports-minded and healthy for possible intimate relationship. 64614 IF Y O U LIKE T O BIKE, ski, blade, smoke and drink, no work, all play, I'm your man. 6 4 6 1 5 HEY IF Y O U ' R E NAKED might as well be naked as long as you can. And I'll keep my socks on. 6 4 6 1 6 PLEASE ^LEAS PLEASE,,! need ' a date! 6 4 6 1 7 S W P M ISO ATHLETIC, H U M O R O U S , S E N S I T I V E S O U L M A T E (25-

april

3,1996

40) mutual interests in tennis^ skating & star-gazing a plus. 6 4 6 1 8 23 YO S B M (IN M Y P R I M E ) I S O a fine woman between 18-28. 6 4 6 1 9 D W M , 30, W I T H D W W I F E . W i l l take same in trade. 6 4 6 2 0 IT'S Q U I T E S I M P L E - D W M 4 2 Y O nice guy looking for nice girlfriend to do just about anything fun outside and in. 64621 SENSE O F H U M O R , great personality, D W M , 34, enjoys skiing, traveling, nightlife seeking petite S/DWF 30 s with similar interests for friendship and possible romance. 6 4 6 2 2 S W M , 3 5 , HAPPILY E M P L O Y E D and good w/my money. I enjoy new ideas and exciting challenges. Fd like to meet a SF, age unimportant, who's "somewhat" responsible and mature. 6 4 6 2 3 NOVICE S K Y W A T C H E R , 40, seeks date to find comet Hayakutake and other natural marvels in the sky and closer to home. 6 4 6 2 4 S W M , 36, CREATIVE, INDEPEND E N T A N D Q U I T E EVOLVED. Slim, athletic, N/S professional. Seeks similar SWF, 20s-30s, for equal parts laughs and quiet sensuality. 6 4 6 2 5 S W M , 20, A T T R A C T I V E , A T H L E T IC, QUIET, FUNNY, U N P R E DICTABLE seeks slim SF, 20-25 with similar traits, although you don't have to be quiet. 6 4 6 2 6 HI: I ' M A S W M , 31, Slender, blond/blue, N/S, N D , very little alcohol. I like to ride horses, quiet times, romance, comedy. If you are similar I would like to hear from you. T h e shy and/or kids OK. I live in the Burlington area. 6 4 6 2 7 VEGGIE SEEKS W I F E -Spiritual yet fun-loving S W M , 37, attractive, c o m m u nicative, seeks loving Goddess for lifelong companionship. I'm ipto nature, Wicca, cooking and actively moving through time and space. I will cherish you and be there for you always...It's about time... 6 4 6 2 8 INTELLIGENT A R T I S T - A T H L E T E SENSUALIST, 23. Pleasantly idiosyncratic, no TV, healthy. Loves risers, forest, music (listening/making) Earth, friends, exploring, life, homemade wine. Seeking similar. 6463 S W M , 5 ' 8 " SEEKNG SWF, 19-23 who enjoys sports, outdoors, also enjoys being herself. Please give me a try! Relationship f or just to be friends. 6 4 6 3 7 DINING O U T , F U N T I M E S , G O O D STUFF. S W M , 30ish, ISO SF for friendship, possible relationship. Give a call! 6 4 6 0 9 27 YO S W M , TALL & F U N , seeking SWF, ages 21-40, for great times, com- . panionship, memories to never forget. 64652 A T T R A C T I V E , EASYGOING, O U T D O O R E N T H U S I A S T with great sense of humor, and love of music looking for someone just like me. 6 4 6 5 8 M O D E R N - D A Y 0 0 7 seeking la femme nikita or midnight rendezvous. 6 4 6 5 9 O U T G O I N G SPONTANEOUS

PARTY A N I M A L needed to help me live in the fast lane. No wimps or whihers please please. 6 4 6 5 7 M E S W M , 3 0 ' S would like to meet S W F who's thoughtful, honest and romantic to spend many quiet hours and m a n y more filled with excitement.. 64655 5'8" 200#, 46. Former hopeless romantic turned middle-aged cynic. Never been married. Don't mind laughing at my own foibles. Seek attractive fellow curmudgeon! 6 4 6 5 1 S W M SEEKING S W F AGES 2 6 - 3 2 for good times. I am tall, dark hair, quiet guy, but love to have good times with someone outgoing. 6 4 6 5 8 A T T R A C T I V E M A L E LOOKING F O R D O M I N A N T FEMALE for a relationship. Those curious also reply. 64661 M I A M I D O L P H I N S 4/27 AT M E T R O N O M E . How about a touchdown in your end zone. Dark hair, beard - and ready for you- Wed. at the Nome. 64654.

W O M E N SEEKING W O M E N DANCING LIGHT seeks true love. N/S, ND, GPF, 48, spiritual, miracle-minded, passionate, artistic, self-aware, physically active, with present" inner child. Seeking similar. 644/4 SEXY, SHY, SAVVY, SWEET, SOPHISTICATED, SPIRITUAL, creative, intelligent poet who thrives on the quest for knowledge, enlightenment and oneness whose eyes es put pu me under a spell. 64110 FTM, TRANSGRESSIVE, TRANSGENDERED BUTCH LESBO looking for same for TRANS support & political action group. 64526 ap. t.4-y/b I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE A LITTLE CRAZY AND FUN. Great times on their way with me personally is a must and so is sexual awareness. 64528 WOODS; would love sweet friend to share some of this with. I'm 27, affectionate, playful, with a cute buzz cut. I love to write and dance. Come out of hibernation! I need to meet more Vermont women. 64572

CLOSETED G W M , 27, 6', 160#, BROWN/BLUE. ENJOY skiing, dancing, travel and just relaxing. Seeking 18-30 YO attractive gay or bi male for friendship and more. 64401 LOOKING FOR FRIENDS and potential. GWM, late thirties, with many and varied interests. Good person to talk with and share time. 64475 ACTING central V T G W M , 26, 5*11" 190 loves dinner, movies, dancing, walks. Seeks honest, intelligent, G W M , 20-30 for friendship ana more. 64476 DAD, looking for a couple of bad boys. 64530 . . 34 YO SEEKING COMPANION LOVER FRIEND. Honest, subdued but aggressive, loyal and true. Something you can't find ust anywhere. 64542 lust anywri FUNNY, JNNY, IROMANTIC, STRAIGHTACTING central VT G W M , 26, 5' 11" 190 loves dinner, movies, dancing, walks. Seeks honest, intelligent, G W M , 20-30 for friendship and more. 64476 GOOD-LOOKING, MASCULINE, FIT, 34, 6', 180 lbs., brown/blue, seeking an attractive, independent male who

communication, honesty and s Ndt interested in "casual relationships.' Interested in lasting friendship, commitment, togetherness - a soul mate to share life with. 6 4 6 6 6 G W M , 38, ENJOYS J U S T A B O U T ANYTHING. Looking for a sincere, honest man to share my life with - 19-45. 64534

AT T H R E E NEEDS. You: M a g i c Hat # 9, me: Shed Mountain Ale. Let's meet >some place after midnite. 9 4 6 4 9 . BETTY: T h a n k s for a wonderful day. Ronnie. 6 4 6 5 3 .

OTHER P R E T T Y F U N N Y ITALIAN, 32, looking for friend W/M/ND must be cute, and like t o drink beer; fishing, camping no strings. 64647

If you h a v e n ' t p l a c e d your voice g r e e t i n g your personal w i l l r e m a i n in m a i l boxes, W e ' l l move it when you l e a v e your message! I'M A STABLE ATOM LOOKING FOR A FREE ELECTRON TO RIP ME APART and rise me to a higher level. Can you ido it? 64529 you r c r> ALL THE MEN W H O WANT TO BE DOMINATED! I am the vision of your dreams! Married men need only apply. You'll love me. 64577.

MAILBOXES ONLY To respond to mailbox ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box# on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response and address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, PO. Box 1164, Buriington.VT 05402

SINCERE, SPIRITED NS/NA 30YO S W M ; homeowner, advocate, writer, photogarpher w/no kids (yet) and no STD's seeks passionate, caring woman for friendship, companionhsiop, and possibly an LTR. 64145. HI, YOU, UM, ME. Like fun, wish for sun, hot dog bun. 64445 SM, ENJOYABLE, LIKES GENUINE. Seeks the same. Every-day nice guy. To be :agu« 64416 more specific would be vague. BIG GUY SEEKS LITTLE WOMAN. Blonde, 5'11", blue eyes, looking for a true heart. Like just about any adventure, reruns. We'll become friends or more! 64420 S W M LIVES FOR THE NOW, the woods & the kindness of the world. 5'10", 175 lbs, good-looking, 22YO. 64412 S W M , 43, SEEKS SDW. Kids okay. 30-45 for LTR, dinners out, nights in, weekends on the road. You clean and I'll cook 64422

• CENTERED, SMART, DAFFY & SWEET. DWPF, 40, looking for similarly wise, genuine man to share life. Trade stories, Laugh, ski, hike, cook - have adventures. On, the places we'll go! Box 002. SWF - PROFESSIONAL STYLIST IN NEW YORK + Vermont. Enjoys reading, movies, and deep conversations. Seeking new friendship in Vermont. 64457 FIRE'S LIT - COME ON IN! SWNSFintense, informed, imaginative and, tra-la, musical - seeks secure, bright, fit, loving man (45-55) for friendship and intimacy. 64467 SWF, 347XTCSKI RACING + O T H E R outdoor fun. Laughing, travelling, foreign cooking, morning person. N/S,N/D, tall, thin. Let's ski at Trapp's. }ps. 064402 I COULD LOVE A MAN who's stable, steady, secure, smart, not too shy and emotionally accessible. I'm 38, warm, friendly, and looking good enough. Quality woman. Box 011 YOU'RE MY MOUNTAIN, 1 AM YOUR CLIMBER. You provide the challenge, I'll hring the rope. rope 64523 bring CIRCUIT BE JITBREAKERS BUSTING. I'm 120 volts of excitement. You: a grounded outlet. Can you provide the power? 64525

ATE PARTY ANIMAL, Capricorn, not a player. Wish to meet woman that won't throw things at me, confident, open-minded with an analytical nytical mind. 64077

BACHELOR GUY SEEKS BACHE-

LORETTE for dinners, laughs, and possibly more. Class of 1973. Interests: performing &C listening to music. Maybe some dancing. Box 001. SNOW (COUNTRY VERMONT Nontraditional woman, 33+, sought to share non-traditional life of off-the-beaten track travel, adventure and romance. Box 003.

DANCIN,' PRANCIN,' ROMANCIN,' Life's not a game. SBM, fit & strong, seeks F, the same (30-45). Work nights, ample time, write me, let's get fine! Photo. Box 005. 5'11", 170 LBS./GREEN EYES Love music, plays &C more & cook & want my own kids & need a good friend & lover. 64427 28 YO GUY. NOT ENOUGH space here to really say anything so let's get a drink at the pu pub. 64428. 3AN TREEHUGGER S W M , 27, URB7 seeks peace on Earth, Megabucks, and an honest, grounded, bathed gal pal to share modest vices, quality time. Please write Box. 009 ANYONE O U T THERE? S W M , college student, 21YO, N/S and fit, 5'10" with brown hair and eyes seeks SF who enjoys exercising, reading, hiking, laughing and being a bit unusual. Box 010 CAPE C O D TRIP, side trip to Martha's Vineyard. First mate needed. After Labor Day. Let's plan now Box 0 1 3 D W M , 41, 6 ' 2 " W I T H EYES OF BLUE. Looking for the love of a female for a one on one»non-committed relationship, total discretion for the right person. If you desire romance, passion, and the need for excitement in your life, we need to connect. Box 0 1 4 MULTI-MILLIONAIRE W H O HAS EVERYTHING IN LIFE except you to fill the passenger seat in my Ferrari, Lear jet, etc. All inquiries answered. 64483 DO YOU NEED A GUY TO WASH YOUR HAIR and give you a rose petal massage after a hard day? Call me! I'm waiting. 64482 S.D. RED DIAPER BABY seeks rebel girl/union maid, 4 0 - 5 0 for camaraderie and possible solidarity forever. No zealots, recent photo, please. Box 0 1 5 .

SPIRITED, FUN-LOVING W O M A N SEEKS T H E SAME for friendship and more. Woman would be N/S and would NOT be afraid of intimacy. Take a chance! 64480

G W M , 32, LOOKING FOR A GUY. Love sports, enjoy outdoors. Love to cook for T W O . Looking for the right for friend and maybe more. 64532 G W M , 27, BRN, HAZ, 150# enjoys biking, pool, travel and spontaneity. Seeking 20 to 32YO w/ similar interests. Masc A+. 64536 GM, 23, BROWN HAIR, BROWN EYES, INTO CROSS DRESSING, trips to the city, romantic dinners and bubbly bath seeks same, 18-25. Possible relationship material. 64538

THE BURLINGTON LITERARY SCENE NEEDS A KICK IN THE ASS. Looking for other writers/illustrators who feel the same. Discussion, motivation, amateur lit, mag, production. 64543 VERMONT'S EXPANDED LOVE NETWORK IS A discussion/support group for '"-» those interested in creating thought-provoking, committed, multi-partner, loving relationships. Gay and straight welcome. Box 004. PARTY1! We re planning a housewarming/ bon-voyage party and would like to invite other interesting 30-somethings. A brief note with details on what you'd bring gets an invite. Box 008

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