Seven Days, April 7, 1999 by Seven Days

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A Prog-nosis for thepost-Clavelle era

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In Chittenden County, a "good" shirt is hard to find

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Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4

By Ruth Horowitz.............................................................. page 20

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Nail Fraud

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Art Review: Deborah Randall, Hugo Anderson and Peter Hayes By Marc Awodey ..............................................................page 41

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Do the clothes make the woman? A sartorial slacker tries fashion on for size By Deb Abramson ........................................................... page 44

The Boxer Rebellion

A series of brief encounters reveals more men like 'em loose COVER PHOTO BY MICHAEL SIPE COVER DESIGN BY DONALD R. EGGERT

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iuestion

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mercials. I refuse to shop at Old Navy because of their commercials — they're try ing to be kitschy and they're just stupid. — Brooke Dooley Receptionist,

Mark LeGrand Musician .

I guess the biggest one is people dressing up to be like something they're not. — Rob Quinn

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‘HOLY’ CONTROVERSY W hat is it about the word “shit” that enlarges all who behold or use it, and bathes us in such radiant hope for the human soul? Two weeks ago a couple of readers wrote to com plain about Seven Days splash ing of the phrase, “HOLY SHIT!” in an ad for skate boards across its back page — a reasonable response, one might suggest, to the sanctification of a word that demands associa tions with stink, waste, decay, the forfeiture of elemental pri vacy and dignity, and a strong subliminal connotation of death. These protests inspired Bryan Stratton, a writer I often admire, to lash back with an inexplicable attack on “the cur rent trend of child worship.” Like, hello? Like, Earth to Bryan? Are you still living in Vermont, pal? Have you some how gotten your astral-projec tion channels tangled up with John Irving’s? But back to the fecal matter at hand, as it were. It’s probably no accident that “shit” and its embellishments have long since become America’s epithet of choice. In a society that has become completely commodi fied — a society that has rever

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mon weeds are precious medi cines, so rather than going to war with them, let us embrace them. We are all aware of the herbal medical field that has prospered in the last few years, certain herbs have actually become endangered because of their popular demand. Loose strife, although it can be a nui sance, is effective against mild diarrhea, and it works without causing constipation. Please, before treating yourself, consult a certified herbalist. N O BAD SEEDS? — Shawna Travis I have included a comment Colchester about the article, “Purple Reign” [Seven Days, March 24] PARTIALLY CORRECT by Ruth Horowitz. I enjoyed ‘CRANK’ reading the article, but I think While I previously wrote that our beautiful weeds have only harsh words about Peter been given a bad name for too Kurth, I have to admit his col long. umn in the March 24th issue Loose stools is a case for [Crank Call] — in which he loosestrife: Springtime is near, kvetches about all manner of and any sign of green is a time things, including bombing to rejoice. Loosestrife may be a Hiroshima, SUV dangers, and ferocious weed to some, but in heroic hot air balloonists — is the world of an herbalist, like almost perfectly on target. But, myself, it raises an eyebrow. while I’m not a Republican, I Common weeds have rooted don’t think he should be sin themselves into our lives and gling out the GOP. In case you backyards with a pioneer-like haven’t noticed, Peter, it’s the determination. They have national Democrats who have turned gentle gardeners into savaged the poor, made it brutal weed killers; gardening essentially illegal to be a young has ultimately become an black male, created NAFTA annual battlefield. Many com

ently dedicated itself to con sumption and waste — how surprising is it that sooner or later, “Holy Shit” would be for mally affixed to a pitch for a consumer product? The wonder is not that “Holy Shit” is showing up in advertising. The wonder is that it has not yet replaced “In God We Trust” on our currency. — Ron Powers Middlebury

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and the crime bill, bombed civilians, etc. I know the Republicans are accusing Clinton of stealing their pro gram, and I suppose there’s some truth to that. But that doesn’t mean that he and his kind shouldn’t take the rap for their misdeeds. Believing in Clinton is the self-delusion of bad early religious training: Be good and accept every rotten thing in life and someday you’ll be rewarded. Fat chance. — Jerry Weinberg Burlington Le tte rs P o lic y : SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 2 5 0 words or le ss. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in Seven Days. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 65 -1 0 1 5 e-mail: sevenday@together.net

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Play It Again, Sanders

. Not to worry. Jeezum Jim’s got that one cov ered, too. Picture this. They’re all sitting around on car If Sanders doesn’t take on Jeffords, well, pets in this big tent in Morocco Monday night. there’s always State Auditor Ed Flanagan of It’s after dinner and everyone’s sipping Turkish Burlington. Flanagan’s already announced, coffee and sucking on the dozen or so connec though, he’ll politely step aside for Sanders. tions to the giant hookah in the middle of the A Flanagan-Jeffords race would be a great bat tent — some more than others. King Hassan II, tle and, according to The Washington Blade, “The the Moroccan ruler, exhales a big cloud of yellow Gay Weekly of the Nation’s Capitol,” it’ll be a smoke, clears his throat and turns to the visiting battle within the gay community, too. U.S. Congressional Delegation with a glassy look “The nasty fight among gay activists over in his eye. whether to support the 1998 reelection bid of “So which one of you guys is from Vermont?” U.S. Sen. Alfonse D ’Amato is expected to pale in Up pops a startled Bernie comparison to a potential race Sanders in a white dinner jacket. in 2000 between Vermont’s “I am, King. I am Bernie openly gay state auditor, Ed Sanders,” replies The Bern. “I am Flanagan, and its pro-gay from Vermont.” Republican U.S. Senator, Jim King Hassan nods knowingly Jeffords,” proclaims the Blade. to his prime minister sitting Under “ordinary circum cross-legged on the adjacent rug, stances,” reports the paper, winks, and says, “I hear you’re “gay activists from across the running against Jim Jeffords.” country would be expected to “My God!” exclaims Bernie. send money and volunteers” “I mean, Allah be praised! How Flanagan’s way in Fast Eddie’s I did you know, your majesty? quest “to make history by This is unbelievable!” becoming the first openly gay “Relax, Bernie,” replies King U.S. senator.” Hassan, “There are no secrets in But circumstances, the Casablanca.” Blade notes, are far from The fact is, Vermont’s lone “ordinary.” That’s because congressman and his spouse, Jeffords is “one of the Jane Sanders, were in Morocco strongest supporters of gay Monday night as they continued civil rights and AIDS issues in I their “Me Bernie, She Jane” the Congress.” show-the-flag tour through the In fact, Monday night, Middle East and North Africa. Jeezum Jim was down in D.C. The four-member delegation is picking up a National led by Rep. Ben Gilman, Republican chairman Leadership Award from the AIDS Action of the House International Relations Committee. Foundation. He’s also a strong backer of the Hate In addition to Israel, Egypt and Morocco, the Crimes Prevention Act, which gives the feds mus delegation met with King Abdullah in Jordan cle to prosecute anti-gay hate crimes. and visited Tunisia. Bernie’s sure running with According to Kevin Ivers, spokesman for the the big dogs now. Log Cabin Republicans, “It would be absolutely crazy for gays to try to remove Jim Jeffords from the Senate. He is a clear player in the Senate on our issues.” Baloney, says Flanagan. “Vermont’s gay and lesbian community,” he says, will not have a hard time choosing between “the fellow who didn’t dare defy his chosen leader when Trent Lott said gays are sick and need to be cured and the candi date who quickly shot back and said bigotry was the disease and it will be cured.” Senator...sorry...Congressman Sanders and First word of the trip came in a press release his wife Jane return to Andrews Air Force Base faxed out to the Vermont media on April 1. Ol’ Thursday night. Fasten your seat belts for a little ‘ Bernardo, it read, “participated in intensive dis name-dropping. cussions on the Middle East peace process and Wanna Bet? — Sometimes it’s absolutely amaz economic development with Israeli Prime ing to watch State Reps. Dean Corren and Terrill Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Egyptian Bouricius strive to live up to their undisputed President Hosni Mubarak.” Yeah, sure. At first, we dismissed it as an April title as The Self-Righteous Brothers. Friday, on the House floor, the politically correct Progressive Fool’s prank. duo led the charge against an effort to legalize Sorry, congressman. A thousand pardons. sports-betting pools, like Super Bowl pools, Let’s face it. The Democrats on Capitol Hill which are fixtures in the Vermont workplace — are rolling out the red carpet for Vermont’s even TV stations and newsrooms — and at Independent Socialist. He’s their 2000 campaign watering holes, Legions and Lodges. cruise missile targeted to take out Republican The bill is a reaction to the strong arm of the U.S. Sen. Jim Jeffords. First, the Dems funded liquor inspector in Bennington who made the the poll that indicated OF Bernardo is on track rounds in January busting Super Bowl pools. The to be Vermont’s next U.S. senator. (Ironically, the poll has done wonders to pump up Jeffords’ cam new law would legalize such sinful wagering if all the proceeds are awarded to the winner or win paign warchest.) ners. No cut for the house. Sounds like freedom Now during the Easter congressional recess, and democracy to us. I they land him a choice spot on a high-level But Corren and his Scarecrow of a sidekick l Middle East junket that beefs up Bernie’s foreign railed on and on about how it would “turn every I policy portfolio considerably. Can’t wait to hear bar in Vermont into a casino.” The Self| Ol’ Bernardo say, “As I told Mr. Netanyahu when Righteous Brothers popped up and down like tag he met with me in Tel Aviv...” team ping-pong balls, interrogating the reporter Up until now, Bernie’s international travel of the bill and preaching against the evils of gam highlights consisted of being Daniel Ortegas bling. Then Corren moved to recommit the bill guest on the reviewing stand in Managua, to the Judiciary Committee. A thunderous “no” Nicaragua, for the anniversary celebration of the rattled the walls. The Self-Righteous brothers Sandinista Revolution, and spending a week in were shot down 103-13. Even the two other, Cuba without the “supper and cigars with Fidel newer Progs — Dave Zuckerman and Steve Castro” itinerary that U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy Hingtgen — voted against them. enjoyed in Havana last week. When it comes to Coricius and Boring, the There’s a very entertaining political chess Statehouse wisdom remains, “Get a life, boys.” ® game underway, folks. Sunday, Jeffords professed his love for veter ans in a Rutland Herald-TimesMM Argus op-ed piece. That’s a move designed to counter Bernie’s medals won as the national champion of veterans on the issue of Gulf War Syndrome.

Inside Track BY PETER FREYNE

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v y j Odd, strange, curious and weird but true news items from every corner of the globe

Casualty Co.; billed Witherspoon’s estate for $2800 damage to the truck, explain ing that the elderly woman was negligent for getting in the truck’s way. “I’m not pay ing them for killing my mom,” Joyce Lang, Witherspoon’s daughter and the executor of her mother’s estate, told The Wall Street Journal, adding, “How much damage can a 5-foot, 105pound woman do to a big truck like that?” • After Florida fisherman Charles Cobb, 58, died in a storm off the Florida Keys, his family sued the Weather Channel for $10 million. They charged the Atlanta-based cable channel with forecasting good weather even though it knew that a severe storm was on the way. Ruling that Cobb’s family sought a “novel and unprecedented expansion of the scope of tort law,” U.S. District Judge James Paine dis missed the suit in March, call ing weather forecasting a “pre diction of indeterminate relia bility.” • A Welsh court awarded $200,000 to Alan Davies, 52, after an automobile accident caused him to believe that his wife had been killed in the crash and replaced by an iden

Litigation Nation Twelve students who failed a computer course at Southern Methodist University filed a lawsuit against the Houston school, charging that the course was too hard. The uni versity offered to let the stu dents retake the class, but they declined. “That’s how it is these days,” SMU spokesper son Bob Wright explained. “You fail the class, you sue the school.” • A federal jury in Albany, New York, awarded nearly $4 million to Joseph Roettig, 50, after the chef claimed a propane explosion that destroyed his restaurant kitchen left him too frightened to cook. He sued Riverside Gas and Oil Co. for damages, telling the jury that he can’t stand being near a gas stove and has to pull over if he so much as sees a propane truck on the road. • Gertie Witherspoon, 81, of Adrian, Missouri, was driving to work when she had a blowout, causing the car to run off the road. According to the police report, the dazed driver got out of the car and walked in front of an oncom ing grain truck, which killed her. Five months later, the truck’s insurer, Great Western

tical impostor. Davies, whose c two daughters described him as having been a “loving and affectionate husband” before the accident, now refers to his wife as Christine Two and treats her as a stranger. The High Court in Cardiff was told that Davies suffers from Capgras’s syndrome, a rare mental disorder whose suffer ers are convinced that some one emotionally close has been replaced by an exact double, often with evil intentions. • Seeking justice in his 30-year battle against his former employer, U.S. Steel (now USX Corp.), Donald Drusky, 63, of East McKeesport, Pennsylvania, filed a lawsuit blaming God for his woes. The suit demanded that God return Drusky’s youth, grant him professional guitar-playing skills and resurrect both his moth er and his pet pigeon. Drusky named as co-defen dants former presidents Ronald Reagan and George Bush, the television networks, all 50 states, every individual American, all federal judges and the 100th through 105th congresses. U.S. District Judge Norman Mordue dismissed Drusky’s suit in March, calling it frivolous.

minister Walter Gene Grassie, 49, was convicted of setting fire to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Roswell, New Mexico, after his married lover, who was the church’s organist, broke off their eight-year affair. Prosecutors said Grassie resent ed Mormon doctrine because he believed it prevented the woman from leaving her hus band for him. • Police in Schererville, Indiana, arrested Raymond A. Cruz, 49, for shooting a restaurant toilet to pieces because, according to Detective Sgt. Michael Ison, it “didn’t flush fast enough for him.”

New W ilderness Despite the loss of habitat worldwide caused by encroaching development, one narrow strip of land has been virtually untouched by human beings for 45 years. As a result, the 2.5-by- 150-mile demilita rized zone between North Korea and South Korea has become a sanctuary for rare birds, animals and plants. A new organization called the DM Z Forum has been formed to protect the wildlife in the event relations between the two countries improve and the DM Z is eliminated. One of the group’s founders, K.C. Kim of the

Where There’s a W ill, There’s No Way W hen a wealthy New Zealand farmer left $530,000 to his two dogs and $2.5 million to his third wife and two sons of his friends, the three humans con tested the will, arguing that the dogs should get nothing. High Court Judge Silvia Cartwright agreed, ruling that the sum set aside for them was too much “even for the most aristocratically raised dogs.” ®

Pennsylvania State University Center for Biodiversity Research, described the zone as a “natural laboratory for research and training.”

Reasonable Explanations Former Church of Christ

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vs. Ancient-Day Sun God” eapin’ lizards, what a ticular cycle of time anoth lot of news! It shows celebrations at the park. er Buddha will appear, you what the press can Fabio evidently wound up Matreia, who will preside do now that Monica’s safelywith a one-inch cut on his over the establishment of signing autographs in Paris. nose, which we may be cer an enlightened society. I’ll get to Kosovo in a tain is insured. Here’s what “There will be easier access minute — speaking figura I want to know: W ho are to nirvana,” says a report in tively here — but first, a the people who write to The New York Times, per few notes from the Fabio, and how do they fectly in tune with the spir Associated Press, culled at know where to send their it of the age. Hindus, on random over the weekend: wishes? For that matter, the other hand, believe in ABBEVILLE, Ga. — “A where can I write to Amonmore than one Doomsday. Ra? transvestite fatally beaten Each cycle of Hindu time on a rural Georgia road You can see I’m operat has four ages, called kalpa. told investigators before he ing on an hour’s less sleep We’re in the fourth age of died that his boyfriend was than usual. I hate daylight this one, the kaliyuga. A responsible for the attack.” savings time. As a child, I Hindu scholar translates This will come as a relief to was in awe of the mysteri this as “the lousy age.” rednecks everywhere, and ously changing clocks, Which leads me to to all those who think that wondering what miracle of Kosovo, which I still pro gay-bashing is the wages of physics or cosmology guar nounce with the accent on sin. The victim, Tracey anteed that the hour would the second syllable (as do Thompson, “often hitch go forward and back twice the Kosovars). I stopped hiked up and down a year without fail. I was following news anchors’ Interstate 75 in Georgia 35, I think, before I real pronunciation patterns 20 and Florida dressed as a ized that daylight savings years ago when they were woman,” so you can see he time is entirely man-made struggling to cope with the had it coming. As my only — just another way to Ayatollah. To say that no Southern, black, gay, one shaping Republican lawyer friend American says, “Ain’t nothin’ so pretty policy in as a white boy with lipT' the bomb SAN PEDRO CUTUD, ing of Philippines — “Ten Yugoslavia Filipinos were nailed to has any real III II crosses in a farming village understand north of Manila Friday and ing of the scores of others flogged issues in themselves as they walked dispute is E flF fr o n ir r n r r shirtless and barefoot in only to say annual Good Friday rites of the obvious. penitence. Hundreds of “I don’t tourists and journalists know why flocked to San Pedro Cutud force innocent children to American analysts even get village to watch the Easter play baseball after supper a salary,” says a Serbian week celebrations.” W hat a and join in clambakes and pharmacist in Belgrade, shame that you have to singalongs at camp. opposed to Milosevic, but leave the United States to Let’s face it, we don’t hardened in her resolve to see this sort of thing. If get enough sleep as it is. defend her country. anyone here nailed himself We never have since Edison That the United States to a cross, the moms and invented the light bulb. In has become a permanent dads would have him up on the dark ages, apparently, international police force, charges in a second. As it Americans got an average and that the American peo is, another AP story of nine-and-a-half hours ple have no idea of the real describing Easter rituals at sleep a night. Now we’re ity o f war that doesn’t come a Benedictine monastery in lucky to get six, what with to them straight from California defined the the hundreds of other Steven Spielberg, can be monks as “men who have things we’re also supposed seen from the genuinely decided to shun wives and to be doing — working, shocked response to the kids, homes in the suburbs, primarily, in order to pro Kosovan tragedy so fur. good jobs and fast cars in vide for the future, play the This time, I think, we are search of a purely spiritual stock market, and save not all “numb” to the existence.” If you can enough money for that image of tens of thousands believe that. Ford Mastodon. Then we of white refugees driven in BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. have our “relationships” to panic from their homes. — “Fabio was resting at consider — with our part But what are we going to home after being smacked ners and children, our co offer them when it’s over in the face by a goose while workers, our friends and, — liberation or Fabio’s riding a roller coaster at the “most important of all,” goose? Busch Gardens theme park. with ourselves. Not neglect Pardon me for saying it, ‘I am grateful for all the ing exercise, quality time, . but I just know there are cards and well wishes,’ the healthy eating, flossing, people in this country who supermodel said in a state recycling, the stamping out are confused to learn that ment issued Thursday of all bad habits, etc. Lt. Gen. Michael Jackson is through his manager.” The But don’t despair: There coordinating the NATO assault took place during are Buddhists who believe relief effort in Albania. (7) the “Modern-Day Adonis that at the end of this par-

& S L £ jL S U L £ U ? ^ ^ ( L J - J ~ i^ S L - i- J ! J L ^ - A J L _ J ^ X J 3 ~ S - J L J ls i_ J i_ £ 5 l_ 5 J L J L S L jL Q jU i^ X ± ^

The American e nave no come to them

Burlington College hosts an evening film and discussion, free and open to the public, 7:00 p.m. Thursday, April 15

Raising the Ashes A film by Michael O’Keefe, Raising the Ashes documents the first of what has become an annual interfaith pilgrimage toAuschwitz/Birkenau by Buddhists, Jews, Muslims and Christians who wish to meditate in the place that was the very epicenter of the Holocaust. The film also presents testimonials of people whose lives have been affected by the Holocaust, including Ginni Stern, who will lead a discussion following the screening. She is the daughter of a Holocaust survivor.' 95 N o rth A v e n u e B u rlin g to n , V e rm o n t

8 6 2 -9 6 1 6 o r 1-800-862-9616

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With Seven Days PERSONALS, the only hard part is deciding what to make her for dinner.

The Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Presents. . .

Finding Our Voice 2nd Annual Survivor’s Conference

S a tu rd a y , M a y 1 9:30 a m - 4:30 p m V e r m o n t T e c h n ic a l C o lle g e R a n d o lp h , V T The workshops are designed to nurture, educate, and support survivors o f sexual assault and abuse and the many people who support us. $15 registration fee. To register, call the Vermont Network by A pril 16. (802)223-1302 .

april 7 ,1 9 9 9 888 f S Mi}*

SEVEN DAYS vytf * / UVi ,

page 7

By Kevin J. Kelley

ith Peter Clavelle now embarking on his fifth term as Burlington’s mayor, political speculators are all abuzz about a pair of possi bilities: One, will he vie for higher office in the 2000 elec tion cycle and, if so, under what auspices? Two, who will the Progressives choose as their mayoral nominee in the postPeter era? Clavelle insists he doesn’t want to go to Washington, seemingly scotching any move to replace Bernie Sanders, should Vermont’s sole congress man seek a U.S. Senate seat next year. Rumors have swirled for months, however, about Clavelle running for governor — possibly as a Democrat. The mayor admits he’s eyeing that office, and he has allowed spec ulation about a party switch to percolate. Such a scenario depends partly on Howard Dean not seeking reelection next year. It’s almost impossible to imagine Clavelle challenging the Democratic governor, especially since Dean provided him with a crucial endorsement in the mayoral race against Republican Kurt Wright. But it’s not impossible to imagine Clavelle, a former Democrat, re-enlisting in, or accepting the nomination of, the party that has dominated Vermont politics for the past decade. Although he has run as a Progressive in recent mayoral elections, Clavelle is a businessfriendly and non-ideological page 8

politician who seldom empha sizes party differences. And as a proven vote-getter and effective office-holder, Clavelle would surely be welcomed back to the Democratic fold from which he strayed in 1982. “I have no disagreements

self a former State Represent ative. But switching and running statewide as a Democrat or cam paigning as an Independent with Democratic backing could gain Clavelle many more votes than it would cost him.

“The support we’re getting I from Democrats suggests 1 we’re doing a better job [working for common grouncfl thanf^differences.Tr" ^ B BurlingtonMayor ^ ^ ^ ^ H H E P e t e r Clavelle with him,” says John Patch, a Democratic former city coun cilor who put together a Demsfor-Clavelle endorsement list in the recent mayoral election. “I do hope he’ll rejoin the Democratic Party one day.” But if he were to undergo a political sex-change, some cardcarrying Progressives might view Clavelle as an unprincipled opportunist and refuse to sup port him, thus weakening the campaign muscle that regularly overpowers his opponents. City Councilor Tom Smith is among the influential Progs who don’t want Clavelle to defect. “It’s very important to have a third party in Vermont. We’ve been able to push the debate to the left by having Progressives in the legislature,” says Smith, him

april 7 ,1 9 9 9

A sizable number of moder ate Independents and traditional Democrats would no longer be put off by a left-wing party label. And with a Republican or a symbolic candidate as their only alternatives, even doctri naire Progs would be likely to bury their resentments in the privacy of the voting booth. For his own part, Clavelle rejects the option of rejoining the Democratic Party, though careful parsing of his phrasing does reveal the slightest bit of wiggle room. “I have no plans, no inten tions whatsoever, of making that shift,” the mayor declared on the eve of his fifth inauguration. “Seventeen years ago, I made my decision to work within the Progressive Party. I can’t see

myself going back to the Democrats.” Given all that, the likeliest scenario might involve Clavelle running statewide as neither a Democrat, nor a Progressive, but as an Independent — just like Bernie Sanders.

n any event, is anything more than labels at stake? Are there still substantive differences between the Progs and the Dems? Such questions would have seemed absurd back in the early ’80s when Bernie Sanders and Burlington’s Democratic old guard engaged in constant, bloody battles. Even now — and despite his well-earned good standing among congressional Democrats — Sanders is defined politically as much by what he is not as by what he is. A lot has changed in local politics, however, after nearly two decades of Progressive rule. Clavelle’s gratefully received endorsement from Dean — as well as from Vermont’s other top Democrat, Sen. Patrick Leahy — sent unmistakable signals that the era of animosity is over. Even electoral competition between the two parties appears to be waning, as witnessed by the Democrats’ decision to field no candidates this year for City Council seats held by Progre ssives — and by the Progs’ deci sion to give Democratic coun cilors a free ride as well. “It was hot a grand strategy” for the parties to refrain from challenging one another, Clavelle says. John Patch like wise insists there was no secret nonaggression pact between the Dems and Progs.

“We just didn’t have any can didates ready to run against the Progressives in Wards 1, 2 and 3,” says Patch. “And they appar ently didn’t feel able to challenge us in Wards $ and 6.” While dismissing conspiracy theories, both Clavelle and Patch acknowledge that the two sides are much closer today than even five years ago. “We understand that in local politics issues and ideas are much more important than labels,” says Clavelle. “The sup port we’re getting from Demo crats suggests we’re doing a bet ter job of working for common ground than for differences.” Turf and personalities mat ter much more now than do substantive concerns, adds Patch. He even foresees a time when Burlington’s Progressives and Democrats unite, perhaps under the heading of “Progressive Democrats.” Some Progs with mayoral ambitions aren’t quite so concil iatory, however. “There are still some big differences,” says Michael Monte, former head of the city’s Community and Economic Development Office. “If you ask Democrats about the Progressive Party’s statement of principles, you’d find a lot of disagreement with what we stand for.” Practical ramifica tions can be seen, Monte adds, in the Vermont Democratic leadership’s advocacy of tax breaks that Progressives oppose as unhelpful to working people. O n the City Council, adds newly elected President Jane Knodell, Progressives often pro pose initiatives “significantly to

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Rumors have months, however, about lavelle L U ilillilJ l.iy

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the left” of anything the Democrats are willing to gener ate. She also suggests that Democrats’ ties to special inter ests make them less able to speak out against certain pro jects, such as the Circ Highway, that could prove damaging to Burlington. While agreeing that today’s City Council Democrats are generally much more liberal than their 1980s predecessors, Tom Smith points to continued disagreements on labor-related issues. He notes that the Progs were unable to pass council res olutions supporting UPS strik ers and Fletcher Allen nurses’ organizing efforts due to a lack of Democratic support. “It boils down to class,” Smith says. Each of those three Progres sives, along with Independent City Councilor Sharon Bushor, admits to dreaming about suc ceeding Clavelle in the mayor’s office. All say they would wel come the chance to run for that job. And each exhibits distinc tive strengths and weaknesses that handicappers make the basis for a very early line. By virtue of their gender, Knodell and Bushor benefit from the widespread sentiment

in Progressive ranks that “it’s a woman’s turn.” Monte and Smith acknowledge that affir mative action will — and should — play a part in choos ing a possible successor to Clavelle and Sanders. Bushor, beginning her 14th year on the Council, can put electability and experience at the top of her mayoral resume. As a two-term Council presi dent, she also demonstrated an ability to work with Democrats and Republicans. But Bushor has never enrolled as a Prog ressive, and hasn’t always sided with the Progs on key battles, making it unlikely she would gain the party’s backing in a mayoral contest. Knodell is respected as a knowledgeable, effective and non-dogmatic councilor. She says, however, that she may not want to leave her job as an eco nomics professor at the Univer sity of Vermont. Besides pro viding lifetime security, that career could cause her to be perceived as an academic radi cal out of touch with everyday concerns. Monte, on the other hand, might be seen as a Clavelle clone — an ex-CEDO chief on good terms with the business community as well as with Progressive activists. His forays into the election arena haven’t been entirely successful, howev er. Monte lost his Council seat in the South End, a swing ward in mayoral elections. Smith volunteered to be his own handicapper: “I’ve proven to be a pretty good problem solver, but I also see myself as lacking management experi ence.” Both Monte and Knodell would be more elec table than he, says Smith, whose previous radical-left affil iations would also be whispered about in a mayoral race. “Don’t count me out just yet,” Clavelle hastens to add. “I ran for mayor once again because I continue to be ener gized and challenged by this job. W ho knows? Maybe I will be ‘mayor for life,”’ he says — jokingly, one presumes. ®

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april 7 ,1999

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“Immediately after my last class, I sot a job that uses the paralegal skills I obtained at Woodbury.”

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At Woodbury, I learned the skills to help people build stronger communities.” Franny Fraser Darling, Partners in Service Director

G H a M PL a iN G L0T H 1N G G o .

Prevention & Community Development Program Free Intro Session April 10

1-800-639-6039 Woodbury College Montpelier, Vermont

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Home Cookin' Compost! • Noon-2pm at Shelburne Farms Get step by step assistance from local experts on how to create your own compost from yard debris and kitchen scraps. __________________________________For further information &to register, call CSWD: 872-8111.__________________________________

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C o u n ty , a “ g o o d ” s h ir t i h a r d to f in d

By Ruth Horowitz

ll you want is a little black T-shirt — the clingy, all-cotton kind you can doll up or dress down and wear with almost any thing. Every little black T-shirt looks exactly like every other little black T-shirt, and any store that sells clothes is bound to have one. So buying one ought to be a no-brainer, right? Think again. There’s more to this seem ingly simple purchase than you might have supposed. If, as chaos theory claims, the bat of an eyelash in Lapland can cre ate a cosmic ripple that causes

FLAGGING MORALITY? A little black T-shirt waves none too proudly as the symbol o f ... sweat shops.

T h u rsd a y A p ril

8 , 7 pm

UVM Billings Theater, Burlington Tickets: $8 ($5 GMC members) Call 800-282-3963 Reminiscences: Denali, Matterhorn, Everest Brad's pioneering workin aerial photography focused on mapmaking although today his photos are regarded as works of art. His photo graphic and geographical skills have culminated in his beautiful, and definitive maps of Mt. McKinley, the Grand Canyon, the Presidential Range, and Mt. Everest. Brad became the youngest museum director in the country when he was selected to direct Boston's Museum of Natural History in 1939. His 41 years as director (1939-80) were focused primarily on the founding and building of the current Museum of Science into one of the nation's leading museums, something which he regards as his greatest ac complishment.

Book Signing and Reception 1-3pm at the Bookstore Call 800-282-3963 • www.AdventurousTraveler.com • 245 S. Champlain St, Burlington

Save 15% off all Narratives during April. (Rare books excluded)

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a carp to cough in China, then is it such a stretch to suggest that where you buy your Tshirt has bearing on, among other things, the state of the economy, the look of the landscape, the quality of the air, and working conditions in the Western Pacific? You take the fate of the world in your hands the minute you steer your car towards Williston, hoping to cash in on some of those smi ley-faced savings you’ve heard so much about on TV. Twenty minutes later, you’re in the heart of Taft Corner, cruising past the enormous edifices of Toys “R” Us, Circuit City and Home Depot before pulling into the packed parking lot at Wal-Mart. Any misgivings might begin around now, as your fossil-fuel-consuming, car bon-spewing chariot slides over these acres of asphalt-coated farmland. Surely you’ve heard the recent rumblings about sprawl. Four years ago, when the National Trust for Historic Preservation posted the entire state of Vermont among its “Most Endangered Historic Places,” it was sounding an alarm about locations like this: low-slung, spread out, automo bile-dependent superstore com plexes sited on the outskirts of towns. Building stores — or

homes, offices or factories — out of town, rather than in it, may save the developer plenty, but it comes at a high econom ic, environmental and social cost to the community at large, anti-sprawl advocates argue. W ith their mega-buying muscle, retail Goliaths like Wal-Mart drive small, locally owned enterprises out of busi ness. They put more turf-con suming roads on the land, and more fuel-consuming cars on the roads. And they replace community gathering points, where neighbors meet face to face, with faceless super-struc tures that have little connection to the communities in which they’re located. Today, sprawl-bashing is sexy. A1 Gore and Jim Jeffords both hope to gain political mileage aboard the “Smart Growth” bandwagon. And in this state, at least in theory, the message resonates. In a poll of more than 2300 residents recently conducted by The Vermont Forum on Sprawl, respondents said they support ed compact settlements with easy access to open space. They also asserted that stopping sprawl would require someone to take action — as long as it wasn’t them. Presented with a hypothetical choice between living in a small house in town or a larger one in a rural set

ting, nearly three-fourths o f those polled preferred the out lying, sprawl-producing home stead. Likewise, our professed dis taste for sprawl doesn’t seem to keep us away from Taft Corner. Inside Wal-Mart, business is brisk. Customers wheel their carts through aisles stacked

prohibiting employees from divulging surnames. Maggie spent 13 years working for the Burlington Water Department before retiring to retail, and she’s glad to be here. For one, Wal-Mart is just six miles from her home in St. George. For another, the company is simply “a good place to work,” philos

confesses thatshe^.first shopped in Burlington and then switched to the University Mall before giving Wal-Mart exclu sive rights to her shopping budget. What makes the mega merchant so magnetic? “I like the quality and the price,” she confidently asserts. Today, Naylor is shopping for a blouse

Miraculously, the voice of God redeem ^ you, deploying more sales associates to the registers. Sprawl may have its down sides, but when you shop at Wal-MartT at least you know “You are the Boss.” i mini

with power saws and personal computers, marigold seeds and black mollies, Doritos and Depends. No background music here, just the voice of God issuing instructions over the P.A. system — convening sales associates to the front end and corralling the customers to the children’s shoe department, where a sale is underway. Free-thinker that you are, you move directly to Women’s Apparel, where you find a WalMart worker who introduces herself simply as “Maggie,” company policy apparently

-—

ophizes Maggie, who is wearing Mickey Mouse ears to promote the Mickey Mouse Parade going on in Children’s Shoes. “They’re good people,” she attests. “They donated comput ers to the Williston Library.” Another Wal-Mart acolyte is Noreen Naylor. The 48-yearold wife of a building contrac tor, she makes the 40-minute drive here from her home near St. Albans about twice a week — often enough for the sales clerks to have crowned her “The Wal-Mart Queen.” Born -in Winooski, Her Highness

5— —

to wear on an upcoming gam bling excursion to Foxwoods. “I hope it will be a lucky blouse,” the queen laughs. N ot far from Naylor’s blouse, you find your little black T-shirt. At $9.92, the price seems right. Just barely resisting the $2.97 nacho chile pie and Dr. Pepper at the food concession, you steer your craft towards the 17 check-out aisles. And there, for just a moment, you hesitate. Only five lanes are open, and each has a shopper

Continued on page 22

S Howard Bank A Banknorth Financial Resource *Annual Percentage Yields may vary. For Tier 3 balances of $10,000 or more, the interest rate will be equal to one of, or behveen, the following two indexes: a) the mosUecent IBC 7-day simple rate all taxable MONEY FUND REPORT AVERAGES™ b) the most recent 13-week T-Bill auction rate APYs are accurate as of April 2,1999. Fees could reduce earnings. Minimum balance required to open account is $5,000.

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SEVEMAYS^

page«M

Conscience

Continued from page 21 waiting. Miraculously, the voice of God redeems you, deploying more sales associates to the registers. Sprawl may have its down sides, but when you shop at Wal-Mart, at least you know “You are the Boss.” That’s what it says on the block-long banner you pass under as you plunk down your 10 bucks.

B u rlin g to n C o lle g e P ro u d ly P re s e n ts

D a v i d S c h e in m

MYMURDER

O e \ Y £ L R .y A N P G - l F T S

A N D O T H E R LOCAL NE W S

Friday, April 23, 7:00 pm Contois Auditorium, City Hall, Burlington. $7.50 Writer, actor, director and Burlington native David Schein was a founding member of the Iowa Theatre Lab and Berkeley’s Blake Street Hawkeyes. He is currently Executive Director of Chicago’s Free Street Theater. His chance 1996 witnessing of a Chicago gang murder propelled his cre ation of “My Murder,” which began as a prose poem and ' eventually evolved into part of the solo performance Mr. Schein will present at Contois Auditorium. The performance also includes “The Flood of ’94,” about Schein’s father’s death, and “Of Aurora,” on his daughter’s birth. The perfor mance precedes Mr. Schein’s weekend workshop at Burlington College, “Raw Stuff: Creating Performance Materials.”

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aybe you consider yourself too cool for Wal-Mart. A rose may be a rose, but the little black Tshirt Sharon Stone wore that time at the Academy Awards wasn’t just any little black Tshirt. It was a little black Tshirt from The Gap, and that’s the kind you want, too. Because you’ve got better things to do than cruise down town Burlington in search of a parking spot, you drive to the U-Mall, where you cruise the lot, park and hike across the windy pavement, then make the long, indoor trek through the mall to The Gap. As soon as you get to the store, you feel better. No Big Brother barking orders over this PA. system. The sound track here is hip surfer music with just enough of an ironic edge to let you know you’ve entered the cathedral of cloth ing cognoscenti, about this store giyeis off q good vibrations: the understat ed beige of the khakis; the pol ished-metal canisters of the Dream and Heaven colognes; and the signs in the window that say, “The Dress Code For Spring.” No matter what you select inside these walls, the signs assure you will not be making a mistake. The Gap’s good vibrations don’t come cheap. But if you don’t mind day-old bread, you can avoid the mark-up. Your little black T-shirt, for exam ple, originally sold for $15.50, but has been reduced to $9.99 — a measly seven cents more than its Wal-Mart equivalent. The cash register here isn’t a bannered barricade between you and the exit, but a counter discreetly positioned near the center of the store, like a buffet table at a party. At The Gap, you’re not The Boss. You’re a member of Sharon Stone’s exclusive club, and the label inside your T-shirt collar is your ID card. Just don’t inspect the inside of that collar too closely, or you might begin feeling some qualms. A second tag says this garment was made in the Northern Mariana Islands. Made where? A U.S. territory near Guam, the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands (CNMI) is best known these days for its notorious sweat shops. CN M I’s peculiar ties to

the States have allowed compa nies producing goods there to have their cake and eat it too, by skirting both our import tariffs as well as our labor laws. Human rights reports and Congressional hearing testimo ny tell of tens of thousands of workers brought in from China, Thailand and other Asian nations and becoming the equivalent of indentured servants. Desperate for income and dazzled by the promise of working in a place associated with the U.S., laborers are said to have paid recruiters up to

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$7000 and signed contracts relinquishing their right to change employers or exercise freedom of movement, speech or religion. In exchange for these concessions, workers allegedly have the privilege of putting in 12-hour days and seven-day weeks, and earning sub-minimum wages. Many live in crowded, guarded bar racks the U.S. Interior Department has called “labor camps.” This winter, a $1-billion class-action suit was filed on behalf of 50,000 workers against The Gap, Wal-Mart, Tommy Hilfiger, J. Crew, The Limited and 13 other American manufacturers doing business in CNM I. These suits are the first to try to use anti racketeering laws to hold retailers accountable for worker conditions. As of February, Tommy Hilfiger, J.C. Penney and Wal-Mart had issued state ments claiming to work only with subcontractors who abide by U.S. labor laws. As this story went to press, spokespeople for The Gap were unavail able for comment. There you stand, shirt in hand, examining your con science. Do you really want to

D is c o v e r o u r c o m p le t e o n - lin e c o lle g e a n d s t i l l h a v e t im e t o e n jo y y o u r V e r m o n t s u m m e r Summer Session classes start in May 17 Accounting

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s college in your summer plans? Well, now you can make time for classes and still take advantage of all our Vermont summer has to offer. Because with Champlain College On-Line, you can take classes and earn a degree or certificate entirely through our virtual campus. So you can "attend" class in your home or office—wherever you have access to a computer and the Inter net— at whatever time is most convenient to you. We offer associate's and bachelor's degrees as well as profes sional certificates. Choose from majors in Accounting, Busi ness, Computer Programming, Hotel-Restaurant Management, Management, Telecommunications, and our new major, Web Development & Management. As an On-Line student you will have your own advisor, e-mail and phone communication with your teachers, and access to many library information sources. In fact, most everything you expect to find on a college campus, you will have access to via our virtual campus. If you are self-motivated, like working on your own, enjoy communicating ideas through reading and writing, and can use a word processor, we think you'll find that the On-Line environ ment will add a rewarding new dimension to your learning. Champlain College On-Line is a powerful new way to get the education you need, so get started by contacting us today.

Phone: 802-860-2777 E-mail: ced@champlain.edu Web: www.champlain.edu

Continued on page 47

' april 7; 199 9

-SEVEN DAYS

1 psfetf 2 3

“ w r it e o f p a s s a g e ” T h e S e v e n D a y s / Sum m er W r itin g P r o g r a m E m e r g in g W r i t e r s C o m p e titio n

Seven Days and th e U n iv e rs ity o f Verm ont Summer W ritin g Program a re p leased to announce th e t h ir d an n u al co m p etitio n fo r em erging w rite rs in s h o rt fic tio n .

D ea d lin e f o r e n tr ie s : May 21, 1599 Ma-ii m a n u scrip ts to E m e rg in g W rite rs, Seven D ays, POB 1164, B u rlin g to n , V T 05402 ' THE WINNING STORY w ill be th e co ve r fe a tu re in th e Seven Days Summer F ic tio n issu e Ju n e 30, 1999, and w ill re c e iv e a ca sh p riz e o f $ 250. 1ST AND 2ND RUNNERS-UP w ill be p u b lish e d in th e Seven Days Summer F ic tio n Issu e Ju n e 30, 1999, as space a llo w s, and w ill re c e iv e g if t c e r tific a t e s from lo c a l m erch an ts.

R u le s : 1. "Emerging Writers" are defined as any one 18 or older who has published no more than three pieces of fiction in a newspaper, magazine or literary journal, and has published no books. Entrants must be Vermont residents, or attending school in Vermont at the time of this competition. 2. "Short Fiction" in this competition is defined as a short story, or an excerpt from a larger work if the excerpt stands on its own as a story. The length should not exceed 4 0 0 0 words.

3. All entrants will be judged anonymously by members of the Seven Days staff and an esteemed panel of Vermont writers, including Philip Baruth, Ruth Horowitz, David Huddle, Tom Paine, Christopher Shaw and Abigail Stone. 4. Manuscripts should be typed and dou ble-spaced. Please include a cover page with your name, address and phone num ber. Do not put your name on the other pages. Stories chosen as winners will need to be received in electronic form as well.

5. Manuscripts will not be returned. 6. One entry per writer. 7. Employees of Seven Days and the UVM Summer Writing Program, and family members thereof, as well as family mem bers of the judges, are disqualified from entering this competition.

C o-sponsored by:

The

UNIVERSITY °f VERMONT CONTINUING EDUCATION

:' A v e te ra n sta rts

over —

By Paula Routly

he Nail Goddess was not exactly smiling down upon me when I offered up my hands at her sunny sanc tuary last week on Williston Road. She beheld 10 sorry stubs with nails gnawed to the quick, surrounded on all sides by puffy pillows of angry red flesh. Two of the nails had been more or less filleted, with the top layer peeled away entirely. But it was the cuticles, dot ted with fresh and scabaceous cuts, that really grossed out the goddess — a hard-bitten cos metologist 14 years in the nail business. “Bad girl,” was all she uttered as she inspected my fin gers one by one. Then she got to work, transforming my dis graceful digits into sleek syn thetic talons in a manual makeover she summed up as the “the cheapest form of plas tic surgery you will ever get.” The original intention was not to break the habit for good, but to briefly experience what life would be like with a full set of nails — if I could manage to type up the story, that is. The closest I had ever come to that full-fingered ideal was in the aftermath of a climbing acci dent that put me in a shoulderto-wrist cast for six weeks one summer. The nails on my left hand grew undisturbed, out of reach of my mouth. And they

fro m

n a ilb it e r scra tch

looked good... enough to eat. Which is exactly what I did, once my elbow was back in action. v This was different, glam orous — a cross between a beauty treatment and a con struction project that involved epoxies, polymers, sanding and ultraviolet radiation. Material girl, indeed. Julia Ticehurst was already applying the second coat of plastic when it occurred to me to inquire about the allimportant removal process. To my horror, she said firmly, “You grow them out.” In three weeks, Ticehurst explained, we would repeat the process. “In a day,” she said, “you are going to think, ‘Oh, God, how did I live without them?’” can’t remember exactly when my existence turned hand-to-mouth. Thumb sucking never really appealed. W hy settle for two pacifiers, I figured, when you can have 10? Frankly, I was never really ashamed of my nailbiting habit, and only half-heartedly applied foul-tasting products that were supposed to get me to quit. My parents gave up the fight early. But their friends kept after me, warning that infection was inevitable. Rather than suffer the dis comfort of quitting my habit, I found it was much more fun to come up with convincing argu ments in its defense. Nailbiting

was cheap, organic, renewable. Safe. Nobody ever got cancer, caused a collision or passed on birth defects by gnawing on her nails. Like smoking, it provided a form of meditation — an excuse to space out and do nothing, especially when I was supposed to be writing. And there was the compulsive chal lenge of it. No hard-core nail biter inserts hand in mouth without believing she is smoothing some rough edge. Granted, the result was usu ally less than pleasant to look at, and when I worked briefly as a bicycle mechanic, not too tasty, either. But a little grease was easier to swallow than the sight of my own reflection. One day I got a glimpse of myself, in the act of biting, in a mirror. I looked like an old, scrunchedup dried-apple doll. Muscles I never knew I had in my chin had flexed into a strange topog raphy. Were they there all the time? I had also developed a bad habit of curling my fists, like a fetus, to hide the damage. “You gotta loosen up,” the Nail Goddess advised back at the salon as she roughed up my existing nails with a metal file, creating a surface conducive to adhesion. Working speedily, she affixed long strips of clear plas tic at the midway point of each nail, using a bonding agent. At full length, the plastic exten sions made a girl look like Fu Manchu. But once clipped and

filed, the effect was more, well, canine. W hat transforms the claw into a thick, beautifully shaped fingernail are three successive layers of thick clear liquid plas tic. After each application, the hand goes into a toaster oven like contraption that emits

them — or do much of any thing else, either. Feeling very “girly,” as Ticehurst said I would, all I wanted to do was splay my fake talons, point at things, and scratch. Unfortunately, I had to get into my car, buckle my seat belt, and turn the key — all of which seemed to require the dexterity o f a brain surgeon. O n the way out of the parking lot, my thumb nail inadvertent ly hit the “on” switch for the windshield wipers. A stop at the nearby drugstore proved equally disastrous, when I couldn’t get my change off the counter. I was a “nail cripple,” as Ticehurst refers to women with too-long talons. Mine were comparatively “modest,” owing to my lengthy history o f self mastication. “You have never seen any free edge on your nail,” she explained. “For you,

M y nails lo oke d like a fle e t of tin y frrans A m s . painted m e ta llic r e d T ^ c o u ld n ’t ta k e m y e y e s ^ f H h e i n —- j or do m uch of a n yth in g e ls e , either. ultraviolet light — like the fill ing-fixing gun at the dentist, it accelerates the bonding process. Ticehurst warned the chemical reaction can cause a brief burn ing sensation. And it did. Eyeing the warning on the top of the machine, I read aloud “Do not overexpose,” as my right hand went in for its fourth fry. Once the plastic hardens, the polish goes on — I picked a blood-red color to go with the lipstick I never wear. Ticehurst painted it on, and sent me to a double-wide toaster oven, where both hands cooked another 10 or so minutes. By the time they were “done,” my nails looked like a fleet of tiny Trans Ams, painted metallic red. I couldn’t take my eyes off

this is long.” More like an evo lutionary step backward. After failed attempts at my old job and a scary first pee, I went home to bed. Not before I gave my cat the scratch of her life, though. The next day, I was phoning, typing, pumping gas and swim ming laps as if I had been born with these dazzling digits. Every activity was an entirely new experience — who needs letter openers when you have power nails? So what if it took twice as long to shampoo without the benefit of fingertips? I was washing my hair for the first time, with nails. The time I had once devoted to biting was now spent gazing upon my newly

Continued on page 39

come to our open house Discover opportunities! Visit our Open House and meet with faculty and experienced counselors. Use our

flexible UVld UHiCjlie offetiti(JS to build your dreams: day, evening and weekend

programs are available. For details call 802-846-7030, toll free, 1-888-277-5975, e-mail: trinity@hope.trinityvt.edu.

(ELEANOR ROOSEVELT. 1884-1962)

Houses Saturday, April 10, 10 am-noon, or Tuesday, April 13, 4-1 pm; Mann Hall OF VERMONT

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^ D A Y S

sOUnd Adv Ce O DD B A L L S

where to go

You aren't going to

see something like this in Winooski — or anywhere — very often. And don't be fooled by the name: The Bindlestiff Family Cirkus is aberrant, adult vaudeville fare. Let Ring Mistress Philomena take you to a perverse Big Top — including the world's only brother-and-sister bed-of-nails act, the Broken Glass Dance, and something called the Autonomadic Bookmobile — this Sunday at Higher Ground. Find out why Bindlestiff has been called an "OSHA nightmare."

IC E P IC K E D

Can't blame a guy for changing his mind — or his musical taste.

Vanilla Ice started out rappin' nice and easy, and now he's turned hard. Core, that is. Get used to it, OK? The Ice man cometh to 242 Main this Wednesday. Dial 7, Skarhead and DysFunkShun heat things up.

Alley-Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Billy Bob's, Keith Ave., Barro, 479-5664. Blue Tooth, Access Rd., Warren, 583-2656. Boony's, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-2711. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cafe Ole, North Common, Chelsea, 685-2173. The Cage, Bolton Rd., Waterbury, 244-5457. Cambridge Coffee House, Smugglers’ Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Champion's, 32 Main St., Winooski, 655-4705. Charlie O s, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chicken Bone, 43 King St., Burlington, 864-9674. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. Club Extreme, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Danny's Pub, Keith Ave., Barre, 479-5664. Diamond Jim's Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Edgewater Pub, 340 Mallctts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Emerald City Nightclub, 114 River St., Montpelier, 223-7007. Franny O's 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Gallagher's, Rt. 100 & 17, Waitsfield, 496-8800. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. Greatful Bread, 65 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-4466. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Jake's, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. LaBrioche, 89 Main St., Montpelier, 229-0443. t Last Chance Saloon, 147 Main, Burlington, 862-5159. Leunig;s, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Local Legends Coffeehouse, Daily Bread Cafe, Richmond, 434-3148. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Main St. Bar & Grill, 118 Main St„ Montpelier, 223-3188. Manhattan Pizza, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. Neshobe Sportsman Club, Rt. 73, East Brandon, 247-9578. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rude Dog, 14 Green St., Vergennes, 877-2034. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St., Burlington, 863-5637. Sneakers Bar & Grill, 36 Main St., Winooski, 655-9081. Strand Theatre, 25 Brinkerhoff St., Plattsburgh, 518-562-7828. Swany's, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Thrush Tavern, 107 State St., Montpelier, 223-20-30. Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Wobbly Barn, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3392.

WEDNESDAY VANILLA ICE, DIAL 7, SKARHEAD, DYSFUNKSHUN (hard

core, hip-hop/funk), 242 Main, 7 p.m. $8/10. MICHELE LALIBERTE, ROB GUERRINA & ELLEN POWELL

(cabaret), Leunigs, 7:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m.

NC. H U M P WEDNESDAY (Fattie B &

Konflik, DJs Benge & Tricky Pat; hip-hop), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. THE MIGHTY LOONS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. VORCZA TRIO (jazz/lounge/funk), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP DJ NIGHT, Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. METRO SWING (advanced dance class w/David Larson), Club Metronome, 8 p.m. $8. OPEN MIKE W/PICKLE,

Manhattan Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. KOSMIK LOUNGE (DJ Patti), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. ACOUSTIC JAM W/HANNIBAL HILL (hard rock), Alley Cats, 6

p.m. NC. PAUL ASBELL (acoustic blues/ jazz/ragtime), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. Donations. TNT (DJ & karaoke), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC. FLYING CLUB MONKEYS, DJ MR. CLEAN (improv funk; dance),

V/fifi

April 14 8pm Special Guest

Jo a n J e t t

and

The O fa c k h e a r ts

Sunday, August

Memorial Auditorium Burlington, VT G r a n d st a n d

a v a il a b l e

Tickets: Flynn Theatre Box Office, Burlington UVM Campus Ticket Store, Burlington ^ Copy Ship Fax Plus, Essex Peacock Music, Plattsburgh 'Sound Source, Middlebury ■ ' * '"HP||§T- Iftif||§

(large by phone

(802) 86-FLYNN Co-sponsored by point enfs new album

Essex Junction, V T 1999 Applicable service charges additional.

Presented by All Points Booking and Metropolitan Entertainment Group.

1 “p a g e 2 6

SEVEN &AY!r----- aprif 7; -1-999.........

Emerald City, 9 p.m. $2/7. KARAOKE, Danny’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. T.C. JONES BLUEGRASS BAND,

Cambridge Coffee House, Smuggler’s Notch Inn, 7 p.m. Donations.

Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. $4/10. KARAOKE, Danny’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Swany’s, 9 p.m. NC. MILO Z (NY funk), Wobbly Barn, 8:30 p.m. $7.

FRIDAY

THURSDAY

PICTURE THIS (jazz), Wind-

ELLEN POWELL & JOE DAVIDIAN (jazz), Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m.

jammer, 5 p.m. NC.

NC.

(Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC. ERIC BRENNER (acoustic), 135 Pearl, 6 p.m., NC, followed by EVOLUTION (DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. $5.

BEN SWIFT (alt brass), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE MIGHTY LOONS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. METRO MASSIVE (dancehall/ hip-hop DJs Huli & Diaz), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. THE HYDE ST. JUBILEE (trad, bluegrass), Manhattan Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Club Extreme, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE NIGHT, Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. JIGHEAD (Celtic), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. GALACTIC, THE SLIP (New Orleans swamp funk; jam), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $12/14. DAVE ABAIR BAND (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m.

NC. THE SIDEVIEW TRIO (jazz; Tom

Smith, Gabe Jarrett, Todd Sagar), Local Legends Coffee house, Daily Bread, 7:30 p.m. Donations DJ & KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Gallagher’s, 8:30 p.m. $4/7. MARK LEGRAND (Americana), Thrush Tavern, 7:30 p.m. NC. -

BOOTLESS & UNHORSED

WISHING CHAIR, STEPH PAP PAS (acoustic; blues), Burling

ton Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $6. FRED GILLEN (singer-song writer), Borders, 8 p.m. NC. THE SLIP (jam rock), Slade Hall, UVM, 9 p.m. $5. MARC BRISS0N (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. NC, followed by DJ NIGHT, 10 p.m. NC. SANDRA WRIGHT (blues diva), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. MILO Z (funk), Club Metro nome, 9 p.m. $5. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. EXTREME HOUSE PARTY (DJs), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. NC. THE GULLY BOYS (hippieluv), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT (Butch, Dubee, BWyse; hip-hop, r&b, dancehall), Chicken Bone Cafe, 10 p.m. $2. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. RUSS & CO. (rock), Franny O’s, 9 p.m. NC. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. SAND BLIZZARD, FESTIVUS

SCHWEITZER (rock legend;

JENNIFER TEFFT, SMOKIN’ GRASS (alt-rock, jamgrass),

DAVE HARRISON & JOE DAVIDIAN (jazz), Morgan’s, Capitol

Plaza, 7:30 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Charlie O’s, 9 p.m. NC. D0UGIE MACLEAN (Scottish singer-songwriter), Live Art at the Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $20/18/10 (sold out). BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, Moun tain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. DUB SQUAD (reggae), The Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. HARVEY & THE WALLBANGERS

(rock/swing), Wobbly Barn, 8:30 p.m. $7. THE MIGHTY CHIHUAHUAS

(rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. NC, followed by ALICE PROJECT (rock), 9 p.m. $7. BURNT SIENNA (alt-rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $8.

Fred Gillen mixes raw pas sion — and compassion — into his tales of regular folks. The singer-song writer debuts in Burlington at Borders this Friday.

isson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC.

MANNY GONZALES (singer-

songwriter), Sai-Gon Cafe, 8 p.m. NC. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FACT0RIA (DJ Little Martin), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. DJ NIGHT (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. CONSTRUCTION JOE (alt-coun try), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC.

SAND BLIZZARD, FESTIVUS

(alt-rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. MAX CREEK, NATIVE (jam rock), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $12. BAG OF PANTIES (alt-rock), Sneakers, 9:30 p.m. $4. THE IMPOSTERS (rock), Champion’s, 9 p.m. NC. SMOKIN’ GUN (rock), Backstage Pub, 8:30 p.m. $2. PICTURE THIS (jazz), Tavern at Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. NC. DAVE ABAIR BAND (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

AARON FLINN’S SALAD DAYS

(pop-rock; CD release party), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $3, followed by RETR0N0ME (DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. NC. EXTREME DANCE PARTY (DJs), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK (’70s-’80s DJ), Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP NIGHT, Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC.

CONRAD SAMUELS BAND

BIG JOE BURRELL & THE BIG BOYS (jazz), Vermont Pub &

(country; round & square danc-* ing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. JESSE POTTS (acoustic blues/

Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. SOLOMONIC SOUND SYSTEM

SATURDAY

ZOLA TURN, THE HALOGENS

(alt-rock), Emerald City

J0RMA KAUK0NEN, GLEN

(Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30

but upstate New Yorker

p.m. NC.

Emerald City Nightclub, 8:30 p.m. $5/10.

(reggae DJ), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. $1. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Rad-

www.s evendaysvt.c om

242 Mail

continued on page 29

w w w . B i g H E A v ^ W O R L D . c a M LOCAL MUSIC QkLikEI PUIE POP TOP * VEEKLf CO tYEAkfAfS • SEVEkOA'fS CLUB LIS MS

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S a t u r d a y , A p r il 2 4 "America's most imp< "there is nothing like, fc.

P a t r ic k G y m n a s iu m ,

The New York Times i

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SHADOWS FALL NEVER AGAIN

Doors open a t 7 p m AH Ages Show $15 to U.V.M. Students; $17 to General Public

INFO.8622244

Flynn Theatre Box Office, Burlington UVM Campus Ticket Store, Burlington Cqpy Ship Fax-Plus, Essex f Peacock Music, Plattsburgh Sound Source, Middlebury

charge by phone (802) 86-fIynn

r Pasta » Pizza • Saut§ FREE D ELIV ERY CO LCH ESTER • 655 5555

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6:30 p.m. $7.50. 'TH E PULSE (dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5.

27 DOWN, DEAD HIPPY, P'DIDDLE (rock), 242 Main, 7 p.m. $5. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED

listings

H ERO ES

LYNN ANDERSON & JOHN LIN COLN (standards), Villa Tragara,

(alt-rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

weekly

EV ER YD A Y

acoustic rock), Higher Ground, 8 p.m. $12/15. THE IMPOSTERS (rock), Champion’s, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tav ern at Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. NC. DAVE ABAIR BAND (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DANCIN’ DEAN (country; line dancing), Cobbwebb, 7:30 p.m. $5. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. TANTRUM (classic rock), Swany’s, 9 p.m. NC. LAST KID PICKED (rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3.

will benefit »er Jazz Festival.

w*wite8rt*kwi«jn*l 11

* * ? Uf .*

- ‘

Tickets on sale March 5 an d available at: Pure Pop Records, The U.V.M Ticket Store, Flynn Regional Box Office. To charge by phone: (802) 86-FLYNN. Info: (802) 656-3090; w w w .strangefolk.com $1 o f each tick et sold to b en efit Lake C ham plain Basin Research Center.

Pick up Strangefblks CD

'Weightless in Water' at Pure Pop

Co-Sponsored by The V erm ont Cynic.

— rr— april 7, 1999

■; ,V i j- 1

SEVEN DAYS

Tff'M

page 27

AARON FLINN'S SALAD DAYS,

G7L0VE

LIFE OF RILEY (Sun God Records, CD) — Some o f you know Aaron Flinn from his “day job” as Joe Egan’s main cohort at Eclipse in Hinesburg. But he’s also a

& SPECIA L SAUCE

IN THE SWIM Phish aren’t known for sitting on their phannies in between their own tours: The report this week is that Page McConnell and Trey Anastasio will be among the “Friends” joining Dead bassist Phil Lesh at the Warfield Theater in San Francisco. The three-night show, April 15, 16 and 17, is a benefit for the Unbroken Chain Foundation. Also that Friday, a Phish show taped last fall will be broad cast on “Sessions at West 54th Street” — along with RllfllS Wainwright — on Vermont Public Television. Plan on stay ing up late — it starts at 1 a.m.

multi-instrumentalist band leader and singer-songwriter. The latest Eclipse-recorded release from his band Salad Days, Life o f Riley, is an engaging set o f rootsy modern rock. Flinn has some capable principal sidemen in bassist Aram Bedrosian and drum mer C. Mahlon Gross, but plays virtually everything else on this record — 10 instruments in all — and particularly shines O n guitar. He embellishes his warm, appealing voice with vibrato and vocal stylings, reminding me somehow o f Eddie Vedder or Hootie, but with a personal spin. Flinn sings with passion, but due to a little too much clever wordplay, I often had a hard time figuring out exactly what he was getting at. Clearly he has some strong feelings, but poetry should evoke, not obscure, them. Life o f Riley sounds well-mixed and full, and only occasionally busy, like when Gross overdoes the hi-hat flourishes and cymbal splashes. Sounds like Bedrosian gets a bit buried from time to time, too. My favorite cuts include the all-acoustic “Wire Road,” with its pretty falsetto chorus and homesick vibe, and the pumped-up waltzing title track, featuring a bagpipe intro/outro, clinking bottles and a hooky chorus. This is a fun-lovin’ band,

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FAMILY CIRKUS

taken a new turn in Burlington, where certain members of the college population are outraged by a Control Commission resolution regarding 18+ nights in local clubs. Dunno why it took them this long to notice — the resolu tion was adopted by the City Council December 8, 1998. In any event, judging from a little flurry of letters I’ve received from UVM students, there seems to be a slight misunderstanding: The resolution does not ban 18-20-yearolds from the bars; it bans the sale o f alcohol at bars on 18+ nights. Granted, since bars make their money from alcohol and not ticket prices, this severely restricts the number of 18+ nights bars can afford to offer. But guess what the deci sion was based on? Rampant underage serving, drunkenness in and outside of bars on 18+ nights, accompanied by an increase in assaults and other forms of violence, according to Assistant City Attorney Gene Bergman. And these people ask to be “trusted?” Personally, I’m in favor of lowering the drinking age to 18 again, since the law didn’t seem to do squat to prevent anyone under 21 from drinking whenever they want to, nor driving while drunk. If you ask me, it’s learning how to drink responsibly we ought to be focusing on. Take it from the daughter of an alcoholic: Drunkenness is not a good thing, and all too easily becomes a devastating lifelong demon. That said, let me also point out this city resolution is a temporary measure, inacted while the Commission “has the opportunity to further investigate ‘18 and over nights.’” I hope underage students will also use the opportunity to show some responsibility toward solving the problems, and not just their ability to whine.

and I appreciated little touches like the frantic bullfight intro to “Senoritas Game,” and the between-song hardcore snippet later on. At 18 songs, Life o f Riley could have benefited from a little

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editing — there are a couple o f less-than-successful tracks here. But even so, it’s a real likeable record, and it’ll be interesting to check out the live incarnation when Salad Days tosses their CD release at Metronome this Saturday. — Paul Gibson JENNIFER TEFFT BAND,

B-SID ES TO NOTHING (Gypsy Spin Music, CD) — Norfolk, Massachusettsbased singer-

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NOTES FROM THE HIGHERGROUND If you’re a jazz fan who prefers the comfort of your own living room to a smoky bar, you’re in luck: Beginning this Friday, Vermont Public Radio will be broadcasting select jazz concerts at Higher Ground. The first show will be New Orleans “swamp funk” fellas Galactic — marginally jazz, but whatever. That one will be a recording of Thursday’s show, but in the future, VPR’s “Jazz in the Evenings” deejay Neil Chamoff says, the station hopes to broadcast live — hence the name of the series, “Live at Higher Ground.” The timing of the shows — the brainchild of VPR producer Brendan Walsh — will be at the mercy of the club’s bookings, but they’re slated for once a month. “Higher Ground is doing a great job of bringing jazz to a younger audience,” Charnoff says of the Winooski nightspot. “If we can get the older crowd listening to Galactic and the younger folks listening to Joshua Redman, then the world will be a happier place.” Now that’s opti mism.

songwriter Jennifer Tefft paid some dues busking in the Cambridge sub ways, and this trial by fire lead to the release of D ig This Thing, a solo album o f songs largely written underground. This disc was nominated for a Boston Music Award and lead to a showcase with Aerosmith, among other honors. She and the musicians who backed her on that disc, guitarist John Parrillo, bassist Jason DeWaard and drummf” T:m Hollister consolidated as the Jennifer Tefft Band and recorded lwv. urrent release, B-Sides to N othing, last year. I gotta say, try as I might, I didn’t find much to like about this record. There’s a sameness about these mid-tempo, vague, angsty songs that left me longing for some A-sides to something. The lack o f memorable melodies made most o f these tunes go in one ear and out the other. Tefft has a powerful voice and deftly cribs some slurs and yodels from acknowledged influence Tori Amos, and perhaps from Sinead and Alanis as well. The vibe here is pretty tortured in contrast to Tefft’s girl-next-door looks and tomboy past. Her band is solid, if unremarkable, and Parrillo’s effects-laden guitarwork in particular hits more than it misses. I

SINGLE TRACKS Local hardcore favorites Non Compos Mentis have just finished a studio session with producer Glen Robinson, so expect new tunage soon . . . Atlantic Crossing aren’t exactly traversing the pond for their first tour — though sometime member, fiddler Peter Macfarlane, flew over from Oxfordshire for the trip — but the Celtic cats are traversing the mid-Atlantic states, wind ing up in Albany Friday . . . O n the air this week: Friday night on “Burlington &C Beyond (WWPV 88.7 FM), catch the baritone babe Yolanda, with her Plastic Family; Canadian singer-songwriter Jory Nash joins host Tim Downey this Sunday morning on “Crossroads” (The Point 104.7 FM); and local popsters Aaron Flinn's Salad Days tout their new CD, Life o f Riley, on Buzz “Homebrew” (99.9 FM) Sunday n ig h t. . . ®

Band name of the week:

Egg Zackly

liked the acid-jazzy groove and rocking chorus o f “Not Far To G o,” only to have them almost replicated on “Never Look Down” and “Take.” Lyrically, Tefft seems to be wallowing in bad relationships, with the exception o f “Crooked,” which warns us that looks can be deceiving, and “Prove,” an ode to insecurity. I

CO £

admire Tefft’s D.I.Y. attitude — she cites Ani Difranco as an inspiration — and wariness of the major labels sniffing around her, but so far her music doesn’t do much for me. But hey, I

don’t really understand all the fuss about Tori Amos or Sarah McLachlan, either, so don’t take my word for it. See the Jennifer Tefft Band at Emerald City in Montpelier this Friday and make

your own call. Smokin’ Grass open. — Paul Gibson

sOUnd AdviCe continued from page 27

mZ m

TH E 9 9-W O R D B U Z Z V IE W is you r c n a n c e to p ra ise - or pan - a live show yo u ’ve se en in the past w e ek, and win p riz e s for your prose! G ive us e x a c tly 9 9 w ords (not .7 in c lu d in g nam e of band and ven ue) d e s c rib in g and rating the act. W in ne rs ge t their re view printed Ip righ t here, and w in a p rize from the B u zz Booty Bin! '

sat. a p ril

BAG OF PANTIES 9pm, $4, 21 + |

D e liv e r your B u zz v ie w to Seven Days by fax (8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5 ) , e-m a il ( seven d ay@ to ge th er.n et) or in person (2 5 5 S o . C h am p lain S t., B urlingto n, V T) by M onday NOON, and liste n to 9 9 .9 Th e B u zz for de tails!

ELLIOTT SMITH AND JR. HIGH, HIGHER GROUND, MARCH 30: The somber troubadour took the stage late Tuesday night and quickly won over the packed house. Playing a set sprinkled with selections from his four CDs, Elliott Smith’s sweet voice spoke of a troubled soul. Crowd pleasers “ Waltz #2” and “ Baby Britain” were pounded out by a three-piece band consisting of bass and drum and Elliott’s lead guitar riffs, elegant and wrenching. The master of melancholy shone, though, on the solo acoustic encore. Onstage alone looking fragile and wound ed, his quiet style drew the crowd to his side. From Portland, special guest Jr. High rocked with infectious energy. —

bluegrass), Boonys, 7 p.m. NC. TANTRUM (classic rock), Swany’s, 9 p.m. NC. LAST KID PICKED (rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. JOHN LACKARD BLUES BAND,

Emerald City, 9 p.m. $4/10. U.N.I. (reggae), Mad Moun tain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. THE PULSE (dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND,

Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. DUB SQUAD (reggae), The Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. LAMBSBREAD (reggae), Blue Tooth, 9 p.m. $3. HARVEY & THE WALLBANGERS (rock/swing),

Wobbly Barn, 8:30 p.m. $7. THE MIGHTY CHIHUAHUAS

(rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3, followed by ALICE PROJECT (rock), 9 p.m. $7. BURNT SIENNA (alt-rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $10. SETH YACOVONE, REDNECK ALIENS (blues; rock), Strand

Theatre, 9 p.m. $7.50/10.

SUNDAY

Spring /rfv collecfM oQ

p.m. NC.

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DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND,

Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. DAVE GRIPPO (funk), Red * Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. ■ ' METRO SWING (dance lessons), Club Metronome, from 7 p.m. $8. HIP-HOP PARTY (DJs), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $4/6.

.f a — —

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M ID D L E B U R Y

When y o u r S ta irw a y t o Heaven becom es an o v e r p la y e d son g from H ell, we’r e h ere.

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G. LOVE & SPECIAL SAUCE, PRINCES OF BABYLON (alt-

blues), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $16/18. OPEN MIKE, Emerald City Nightclub, acoustic from 4 p.m., electric from 9 p.m. $2/7.

CO-OP

Celebrating 2 9years o f Earth Awareness

TUESDAY Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. PAUL ASBELL & CLYDE STATS (jazz), Leunigs, 7:30

p.m. NC.

, Get cash.

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198 College St.f Burlington 660-8150

MARTIN & MITCHELL (soul

DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. 16 COACHES LONG (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK (’80s DJ Psychotrope), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. NC.

1970 1999 W HOLE FOO D FO R THE W H OLE

KARAOKE W/FRANK,

Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $6.

Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 7

STRING CHEESE INCIDENT

SARAH MUNR0 (singer-songwriter), La Brioche, 11 a.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (acoustic), Main Street Bar & Grill, 11 a.m. NC.

150A C h u rch St. (d o w n s t a irs ) * 8 6 3 -T A N K FREE DELIVE RY CO LCH ESTER • 655-5555

Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10 THE HUGE MEMBERS (classic rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

guitar), Windjammer, 10:30 a.m. NC. ARS MUSICA (VYO; classi cal), Leunigs, 10:30 a.m. NC. JENNI JOHNSON (jazz/blues), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC., and at Borders, 4 p.m. NC. MARC AW0DEY (poetry read ing), Red Square, 4 p.m. NC, followed by L0RNA HUNT (alt-folk), 9 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP DJ NIGHT, Raspu tin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. COBALT BLUE (blues/rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. METRO PUB (DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. NC.

p.m. NC.

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SAM GUARNACCIA (classical

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(bluegrass/jam rock), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $15. KARAOKE, Danny’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. ACOUSTIC JAM, Neshobe Sportsman Club, 6 p.m. NC. ®

C O M M U N IT Y 1 W a s h in g t o n S t M id d l e b u r y

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Friday, April 30 at 8:00 pm Unitarian Universalist Church, Burlington Tickets on sole now at the Peace & Justice Center (863-8326), the Rynn Theatre Box Office, Pure Pop Records, Middlebury Natural Foods Coop, Vermont Trading Company in Montpelier, or call 86-FLYNN sponsored by

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CO-STARRING BILL RAYMOND, TANTOO CARDINAL, RUSTY DEWEES DIRECTED BY JAY CRAVEN Two Shows - 7 & 9 pm Friday & Saturday April 9th & 10th Fletcher Free Library. Burlington Tickets at the door - &7 adufts/$5 students

T h e C h a m p la in C o lle g e P la y e r s present

Tennessee Williams’

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Thursday-Saturday, April 8-10 Friday & Saturday, April 16 & 17

payback time: “You don’t get what you deserve,” an old saying goes. “You get what you negotiate for.” T hat’s one item on the agenda at the upcom ing Equal Pay Day, a consciousness-raising event designed to

Champlain College’s Alumni Auditorium

end gender-based pay discrimination. After a workshop on how to ask for the salary you deserve, participants will listen to Governor Howard D ean explain the wage gap and w hy it should be eliminated. It makes perfect sense — 26 on the dollar. Thursday, A p ril 8. State House, Montpelier, 11 a.m. - 1 p.m . Free. Info, 828-2841.

7:30 p.m.

inca spot: Cesar Villalobos’ observation that “politics separate us, the arts bring us together” has never

Tickets: $8.00 $5.00 for students & seniors

been more timely. T he leader o f the ground-breaking Andean musical group Inca Son was recently named a Peruvian “cultural ambassador.” True to that mission — and to the band’s name, which signifies a desire to share their culture — the musicians evoke their high-m ountain homeland with hand-made instruments, costumes and

For more inform ation or reservations, call 8 6 0 -2 7 0 7

a spirited traditional sound. Eight years after Inca’s debut gigs in the Boston subway system, The Boston Phoenix named them Best World M usic Group in 1997. Friday, A p ril 9. Chandler M usic Hall, Randolph, 7 :3 0 p.m . $15. Info, 728-9133.

leave it to divas:

At its worst, som e call opera “boring.” For others, it’s an acquired taste. But

w hen La Gran Scena Opera Com pany performs their “tribute” to opera’s greatest hits, the show is a total drag literally. T h e eight-member cast uses its collective operatic gifts for a devilish parody o f such time-worn works as Aida, Carmen and II Trovatore. A knowledge o f opera is hardly necessary to appreciate this folly o f falsetto voices and falsies that the N ew York Post calls a “top-notch travesty.” Best o f all, they can sing. Friday, A p r il9. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m . $16.50-25■ Info, 863-5966.

o Io Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

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• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” ‘GYPSY CARAVAN’: Gypsy enter tainers from Bulgaria, Hungary, India, Macedonia, Romania, Russia and Spain step lively in a showcase o f soul ful music and dance. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $17-24.50. Info, 863-5966. GYPSY CULTURE D ISCUSSIO N: Ethnomusicologist Carol Silverman examines Gypsy music and dance as “survival strategy.” Flynn Theatre, Bur lington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 863-5966. VOCAL RECITAL: College juniors Moya Green and Jennifer Mandell sing soprano songs at this student session. U VM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040.

T.C. JONES BLUEGRASS BAND: The pickings are anything but slim at this acoustic “Cambridge Coffee House” show. Smugglers Notch, Jeffer sonville, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 644-2233.

dance ‘T H E N E IG H B O R H O O D PRO JECT’: Hannah Dennison explores issues o f city urban development, dis placement and “home” in this dance theater performance. Burlington Square Mall, noon. Free. Info, 864-4705. BUR LING TO N C O N TA C T JAM: Explore and expand your range o f motion at an informal gathering o f spontaneous movers and shakers. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burling ton, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 860-3674.

drama ‘RO SENC RA NTZ’ A U D IT IO N S: Lost Nation Theater seeks players for a May production o f Tom Stoppard’s comedy about the Bard’s backstage. Montpelier High School, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0492.

page 30

SEVEN DAYS

april 7 ,1 9 9 9

‘T H E VELVETEEN RABBIT’: Northern Stage mounts its adaptatk o f the classic kids book about a bor| and his favorite toy. Briggs Opera House, W hite River Jet., 7 p.m. $21 Info, 296-7000.

film

‘N IG H T S OF CABIRIA’: Guilett Masina, wife o f Italian auteur Fed Fellini, stars in his 1957 tale o f a pi Ji titute with a heart o f gold. Spauldii Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dari ^ mouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 6 : f & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-24 n

art

• Also, see exhibit openings in the listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The hum ajj figure motivates aspiring and acco plished artists in a weekly drawing £ sion at the Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. «e 865-7165. Id L U N C H T IM E LECTURE SERi Art prof John Seyller explores the

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La Gran Scena Opera Company Friday, April 9 at 8 pm Ballet Trockadero meets the Marx Brothers in this all-male opera spoof in drag! In falset to and falsies— and magnificent voices— the madcap divas of La Gran Scena perform scenes from opera’s “greatest hits,” including Act II of Puccini’s Tosca, plus Aida, Carmen, La Boheme, Die Walkure, and more. You don’t need to be an opera lover to enjoy the visual and vocal slapstick of these consummate— and classically trained— clowns.

Fiymi

il and trouble:

Sponsored by It may be hard to convince gardening neophytes that there’s a skill to raising

ust vegetables. But many w ho have put seed to soil take solace in books like Charles Nardozzi’s Vegetable dening fo r D umm ies. At an area reading, the author and former National Gardening Association horticulturist rs tips on raising roughage in tight spaces, protecting produce from pests the eco-friendly way and other rules humb — green, o f course. urday, A p ril 10. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 1 p .m . Free. Info, 8 6 4-8001.

mospheric renditions:

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153 Main Street, Burlington, VT 8 0 2 . 8 6 3 . 5 9 6 6 Coming Soon— 4/11-Bang on a Can All-Stars 4/16-Rhythm in Shoes/Crosspulse 5/1-Meredith Monk, “A Celebration Service” 5/14-Charlie Chaplin Film Festival with the Paragon Ragtime Orchestra_________

$ang on a Can All Stars hardly sounds like the kind o f group you’d

ect to play “am bient” music. But, then, redefining musical expectations is precisely their gig. T he six-member ipe combines amplified cello, bass, keys, percussion, guitar and w ind instruments in a sound said to have “the energy o f a rock band and the precision o f a chamber ensem ble.” They cross the boundaries o f funk, jazz, classand rock at an upcoming performance o f Brian Enos mesmerizing M usic fa r Airports. Beats Music fo r Elevators, day, A p ril 11. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7 p .m . $16.50-25■ Info, 863-5966.

better or verse

There are those poets w ho ponder the subtleties, the intricacies, the nuances ur fragile existence. And then there’s Letta Neely. N ot one to go gentle into that good night, the activistlor takes aim at the rampant com m odification o f our time. She wrangles class, justice, race and gender into a ary lightning rod that has w on her more slams than a Saturday night at Thunder Road. W ith her 1998 col on Juba up for the Lambda Literary Award for Lesbian Poetry, she reads it like she sees it at three upcom ing iday, A p ril 12. G rand Salon, M iddlebury College, 4 :30 p. m. Free. Info, 4 4 3 -7358; Tuesday, A p ril 13, N orth nge, Billings Student Center, U VM , Burlington, 7 p .m . Free. Info, 6 5 6 -0 6 9 9 .; Wednesday, A p ril 14, Rhombus try, 1 8 6 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 6 5 8 -8 6 2 3 .

CENTER and soul” o f Indian sculpture in rmanent collection at the ig Museum, UVM , Burlington, p.m. $3. Info, 656-0750.

ds BABSON CARTER: The nt-New York City poet reads ter o f her award-winning work. 201, McAuley Fine Arts Center, College, Burlington, 7 p.m. ifo, 846-7195. EY GARD D IA M O N D : The of Second Sight reads from her - recently re-released by Harper i. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College rlington, 7:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, >03.

IG PARENTS IP: Something

A N D BABIES fun and educas always in store at this gather i n g parents and their kids up hree. H .O . Wheeler School, 5ton, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info,

77.

AND STORYTIME: The hree crowd drops in for tunes . Fletcher Free Library, Bur10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. gfSC H O O L E R S’ STORYStay-at-home students five and e tales from the trails o f cow 'd cowgirls. Fletcher Free Burlington, .1:30-2:30 p.m. e |f o , 865-7216.

STORYTIME: Four- and five-yearolds enjoy stories, songs, fingerplays and crafts. South Burlington C om munity Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STORIES: Little listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Childrens Pages, Winooski, 10 a. m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

etc V E R M O N T ADULT LEARNING CENTER: Adult learners drop in to brush up on reading, writing and math skills. H.O. Wheeler School, Burling-ton, 8:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. RAIL FEASIBILITY M EETING: Potential passengers on the proposed Burlington-Essex line meet with transit authorities over the findings o f a recent study. Burlington City Hall Audit orium, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 878-9305. H O M EO W N ER SH IP ORIENTA T IO N : Potential buyers learn how to shop — and pay — for a home at the Burlington Community Land Trust, 179 South W inooski Ave., 5:30 p.m. Free. Register, 660-0642. ‘H O W TO FEED A PICKY EATER’: Parents get tips on pleasing a persnickety palate at Burgess Assem bly, Fletcher Allen Healthcare, Bur lington, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2278. ‘PURPOSE’ CAREER DAY: Students interested in making a difference, not a profit, meet reps from volunteer and service organizations. Billings Student

Center, UVM , Burlington, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3450. INTERNATIONAL LECTURE SERIES: A poli-sci prof tracks a cur rent issue in “Money and Integration: Europe’s Euro.” John Dewey Lounge, Old Mill, UVM , Burlington, 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-1096. GERM AN CLUB MEETING: The northern European network gathers to discuss Teutonic topics. Old Heidelberg Restaurant, S. Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3100. GENEALOGY LECTURE: Tracing your roots has never been easier. Learn how to shake your family tree at the Old Stone Schoolhouse, Shoreham, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 897-2600. SALEM W ITCHCRAFT DISCUS SION: The author o f The Salem Witch Trials, How History Was Invented revis its the early-American executions. People’s Academy, Morrisville, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 241-3744. W ILDLIFE TRACKING D EM O N STRATION: Learn to track and pro tect local wildlife as demonstrated by Susan Morse. Rumney Memorial School, Middlesex, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 229-5445. C O M PU T E R GEOGRAPHY EXPO: Explore the high-tech geo graphic information system known as G.I.S. through exhibits, presentations and workshops. Capitol Plaza Hotel, Montpelier, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 656-8319.

"What they were literally doing mat, conducting scientijic experiment!,. But while they did ao, thit troupe... created magic." The Newyork Timet

Friday. April 9 • 7 pm Saturday. Rpril lfl • 2 pm 1999- The HeoreTheater Recommended for ages 12 and up.

'. i

tuesday, april 13 8 pm-spaulding auditorium S p o tligh t discussion 7 p m , Faculty Lo u n g e

TICKETS & INFORMATION 603.646.2422 Mon - Fri, 10 am - 6 pm • Sat, f pm - 6 pm • V isa /M C /A m ex/D isco ver Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH 03^55 • www hop.dartmouth.edu

april 7 ,1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 31

HEALTH BENEFIT DINN ER: Your dinner doubles as food for thought at a benefit for the People’s Health and Wellness Clinic. A Single Pebble Restaurant, Berlin, 6:45 p.m. $35. Register, 479-1229. FARMING FORUM: Farmers and ag experts till the fertile soil o f farmings future. Montshire Museum o f Science, Norwich, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 649-2200. ‘TRAIL OF T W O CITIES’: Winooski-ites and Burlingtonians meet to discuss a proposed trail bridge that would connect the two local burgs. Winooski City Hall, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-2974. FIBROMYALGIA SU PPO R T GROUP: This neuromuscular pain and fatigue syndrome affects more women than men. Join fellow suf ferers in the Board Room, Fanny Allen Campus, Colchester, 6:308:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3273. K N ITTIN G 'G RO UP: Needle workers swap techniques and design ideas with other wool workers. Northeast Fiber Arts Center, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-4981.

dance ‘T H E PLACE OF D A N C E ’:' Andrea Olsen “connects person to place” in a moving tribute with an environmental theme. Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 12:20-1:20 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5210.

drama ‘SW EET BIRD OF Y O U T H ’: A summer romance heats up this steamy lyrical drama by Southern playwright Tennessee Williams. Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, 7:30 p.m. $8. Info, 860-2707. ‘LITTLE W O M E N ’: Louisa May Alcott’s 1868 “novel for girls” was adapted for stage in 1911. Students perform the period piece at the A.R.T. Studio Theatre, Hannaford Center, Middlebury, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 382-1024. ‘O H , VICTORIA’: Montpelier actress Sarah Longman Payne plays Victoria Woodhull in a one-woman show about the first female presi dential hopeful. Hom e Dem on stration Club, Hardwick Senior Citizens Center, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 472-6091.

film

fnursday music • Also, see listings in Sound Advice. A C O U ST IC M U SIC IA N ’S C O OP: Songwriters compare notes in a works-in-progress workshop. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 865-9603. TAKACS QUARTET: The Czech ensemble completes their cycle o f Beethoven string quartets in the Concert Hall, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 7:30 p.m. $9. Reservations, 443-6433. NATALIE MACMASTER: The fiddling phenom from Cape Breton reaps what she saws — and step dances — while drawing on folk traditions o f Canada, the U.S. and the British Isles. Castleton State College Fine Arts Center, 7:30 p.m. $22. Info, 775-5413.

‘T H E VELVETEEN RABBIT’: See April 7. ‘T H E EMPEROR JONES’: In his debut film, Paul Robeson plays a brooding railroad porter en route to ruling Haiti in this rags-to-riches adaptation o f the play by Eugene O ’Neill. Loew Auditorium, Hood Museum o f Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H . $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. JOAN SAVOY LECTURE: T he artist examines the similarities between abstract and representa tional art and shares tips on “read ing” both. Firehouse Gallery, Bur lington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7157. ART LECTURE SERIES: Art his torian Michael Sherman explodes the “Myth and Image in the Works

o f Hieronymous Bosch.” T.W W ood Gallery, College Hall, Norwich University, Northfield, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8743.

words PARENT-TEEN D ISCUSSIO N GROUP: Reading relations find common ground in Tessa Bridal’s Tree o f Red Stars. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684. POETRY W ORKSHOP: Poetry bibliographer Bob Buckeye makes literary references at this versifying event. Isley Public Library, Middle bury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523. ‘LEGACIES OF T H E T W EN T I ETH CENTURY’ DISCUSSION: What lessons have we learned in the past 100 years? The pondering pro ceeds with Robert Bellah’s The Good Society. Isley Public Library, Middle bury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 388-4905. SW ANTON LITERACY MEET ING: Community members turn out to help non-readers hit the books. Swanton Village Complex, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 868-4920.

kids STORYTIME & CRAFTS: Cultural activities keep three- to six-year-olds children occupied at the Fletcher Free Library, Burling ton, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘N E W TITLES’ STORY TIME: Kids four and up benefit from rhyme time and James Howe’s mouse tales Horace, Morris, but Mostly Delores. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. PARENTS A NO NYM OUS: Parents gather for support and assis tance around the challenges o f childrearing. Babysitting goes with the program at two meetings in Burlington and Milton, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800-639-4014. STORY HOUR: Young readers learn from lighthearted literature in a country setting. Flying Pig Child ren’s Books, Charlotte, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 425-2600. ‘SIGNS OF SPRING’: Preschool ers look for snow fleas, buds and other signs o f spring at the Green

Mountain Audubon Society, Huntington, 1-2 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068.

sport ‘FITNESS FOR PARENTS’: A light workout gets parents started on the right foot. H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, 9:30-10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. W O M E N ’S RUGBY: The Burlington Rugby Football Club invites beginning and veteran scrummers to spring training. Mater Christi School, Burlington, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-3529.

etc V ER M O N T ADULT LEARNING CENTER: See April 7. RAIL FEASIBILITY MEETING: See April 7, Winooski City Hall. BRADFORD W ASHBURN: The veteran mountaineer and cartogra pher shares his peak experiences on Everest, Denali and the Matterhorn. Campus Center Theater, Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. $8. Info, 860-6776. CENTRAL AMERICA SLIDE SHOW: Traveling teacher Pete Shear shares pictures and words about a 24-day trip to Belize and Guatemala. Burlington College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9616. ‘ENJOYING ADO LESCENCE’ W ORKSHOP: Angst-ridden ado lescent? Psychologist Lawrence Shelton offers tips on turning teens around. Lund Family Center, 76 Glen Rd., Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7467. CONVERSATIONAL FRENCH: Converse with fellow Francophiles at intermediate and advanced levels in this informal social cercle. Fire house Gallery, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 326-4814. BROWN BAG LECTURE SERIES: Pathology prof Jackson Clemmons recommends “Appro priate Technologies for Developing Countries.” Given Building, UVM , Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 656-2540. RESEARCH O N V ER M O N T SEMINAR: A dust-borne illness gets the discussion treatment in

“Silicosis, Vermont and Standard Setting.” Memorial Lounge, Water man, UVM , Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4389. TOASTMASTERS MEETING: Wannabe public speakers develop communication and leadership skills at the Best Western Confer ence Center, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 878-3550. " COLLEGE O PE N HOUSE: Learn >how to earn a bachelor’s or graduate degree at night or on weekends through the Prevel School. Room 144, Jeanmarie Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 4:30-6 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2100. FAMILY VACATION W ORK SHOP: Plan a trip that will maxi mize family memories using advice by travel agent Nancy Garrand. Burnham Memorial Library, Colchester, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-7576. NATURE CENTER V O L U N TEER TRAINING : Folks interest ed in guiding kids to “spring dis coveries” meet at the Green Moun tain Audubon Society, Huntington, 9 a.m. - noon. Free. Register, 434-3068. CIVIL WAR DISCU SSIO N: N ine Months to Gettysburg author Howard Coffin revisits the Civil War, with a focus on fighting Vermonters. Otter Valley Auditor ium, Brandon, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 247-6833. ‘MIDLIFE A N D B EY O N D ’ W ORKSHOPS: Discussions o f spirituality, loss and financial securi ty complement a light meal and life lesson with a panel o f five elders. American Legion Hall, Middlebury, 5:15-8:15 p.m. $5. Info, 388-4982. ‘EQUAL PAY DAY’: Gov. Howard Dean meets gospel diva Tammy Fletcher at this day dedicated to ending wage discrimination. State House, Montpelier, 11 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 828-2841. EM OTIO NS ANO NY M O U S: Women suffering from depression, , anxiety or any other mental or emotional problem find sorority in this 12-step support group. Seneca Center, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 660-9036.

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drama music • Also, see listings in Sound Advice. LES VIOLINS D U ROY: The string ensemble from Quebec City performs Bach, Handel and Vivaldi on modern instruments with period bows. UVM Recital Hall, Burling ton, 7:30 p.m. $20. Info, 656-4455. ‘2 0 T H CENTURY SO N G & D A N C E ’: The Fairfax Community Theatre Company looks back on a century o f popular entertainment. Fletcher Union Meeting House, Fletcher, 7 p.m. $8. Info, 849-6638. D O U G IE MACLEAN: The singersongwriter from Scotland enchants with a program o f traditional favorites and original folk tunes. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $17. Info, 476-8188. INCA SON: The popular Andean musicians share their high-altitude heritage in sound. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 7:30 p.m. $15. Info, 728-9133.

dance ‘TEENAGE Q U E E .. ': Student Betsey McCall draws on creative writing and prom fashions in this poignant performance. Dance Theatre, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. $4. Info, 443-6433. SQUARE DANCE: Al Monty calls for a mainstream- and plus-level dance hosted by the Central Vermont Squares. Montpelier Grange Hall, 7:30-10:30 p.m. $4. Info, 485-6739. TRACY PENFIELD: The dancer weaves movement and music into “Story Dances” at the Cambridge Elementary School, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-2233. EVERETT D ANCE THEATRE: The Rhode Island troupe mixes dance, acrobatics and athletics in a moving exploration o f time, space and motion. Moore Theatre, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 7 p.m. $14.50. Info, 603-646-2422.

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‘SWEET BIRD OF Y O U TH ’: See April 8. ‘LITTLE W O M E N ’: See April 8. ‘TH E VELVETEEN RABBIT’: See April 7. LA GRAN SCENA OPERA COMPANY: The all-male drag drama performs riotous renditions o f Puccini’s Tosea, Carmen and other operatic hits. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $16.50-25. Info, 863-5966. ‘PETER PAN’: Grade-schoolers stage this mystical musical play about not growing up. Hinesburg Elementary School, 7 p.m. $4. Info, 482-2174. ‘T H E LOGGER’: Actor Rusty Dewees swings onto the scene with his one-man “Vermont play in two ax.” D on Commo accompanies the rustic raconteur on fiddle. Vergennes Opera House, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 888-7140.

film ‘IN JEST’: Jay Craven directs the first teen-scripted and teen-acted “vegetarian comedy” from Fledgling Films. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7 & 9 p.m. $7. Info, 592-3190.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

words JOE CITRO: Vermont’s “Bard o f the Bizarre” reads from his new col lection o f supernatural stories, Green M ountains, D ark Tales. Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231.

kids SO N G A N D STORYTIME: The under-three crowd drops in for tunes and tales. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10:15 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘M USIC W IT H ROBERT RESNIK’: Kids sing songs with the musical host o f Vermont Public Radio’s folk show “All the Traditions.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

STEVE SW INBURNE: The Vermont author, nature educator and photographer clues kids into where the wild things really are. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10:45-11:15 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORY HOUR: Toddlers listen to stories at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644. ‘BUSY BEAVERS’: Pre-schoolers get busy learning about an industri ous critter. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 1011:30 a.m. & 12:30-2 p.m. $6. Register, 229-6206.

etc EM O TIO NS ANO NYM OUS: Sec April 9. This co-ed section wel comes men. WILDLIFE REHABILITATION CONFERENCE: Folks who assist injured wildlife gather with experts, biologists and other nature officials at this three-day meeting. Best West ern Conference Center, S. Burling ton, 6 p.m. $45. Info, 483-6870. ‘CANDLE M AGICK This spell casting workshop illuminates the world o f magic making. Spirit Dancer Books, Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 660-8060. TRADESW O M EN’S CONFER ENCE: Knowledge is power. . . tools. Tradeswomen and their advo cates get constructive at this threeday workshop. Capitol Plaza Hotel, Montpelier, 7:30-10 p.m. $110. Info, 800-639-1472. ‘NATURALIST TRAVELS’ TALK: Maida Maxham has pursued — and photographed — all kinds o f penguins. She leads an armchair trip to the arctic at VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7-8 p.m. Free. Register, 229-6206. ‘COOPERATIVE LEARNING’ LECTURE: Educational consultant Jim Howden explains how to make this group learning technique work. Farrell Room, St. Edmund’s Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Out right Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9

p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SUP PORT GROUP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 658-1996.

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music • Also, see listings in Sound Advice. TAKACS QUARTET: See April 8, 8 p.m. ‘2 0 T H CENTURY SO N G & D A N C E’: See April 9. ‘RUI2?’ O PEN MIKE: The Burlington “gay-lesbian-bi and transgendered” community hosts this event headlined by Yolanda and the Plastic Family. Penny'Cluse Cafe, Burlington, 7:30-11 p.m. Donations. Info, 860-1044. ANIMA: The all-women medieval vocal ensemble performs “O Rosa Bella,” an ode to springtime, at St. Mary’s Church, Middlebury, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 863-5966. CHAM BER CONCERT: Flutist Karen Kevra, cellist Linda Galvan and pianist Paul Orgel team up to play Weber, Haydn, Blavet, Telemann and Vaughan-Williams. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $12.50. Info, 476-8188. R ANDO LPH SINGERS: The local vocals take a crack at the Duke Ellington songbook with a 15-piece orchestra and guest soloist. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 728-9878.

dance ‘T H E N E IG H B O R H O O D PRO JECT’: See April 7, 2 p.m. ‘TEENAGE Q U EEN ’: See April 9. EVERETT D A N C E THEATRE: See April 9, 2 p.m. SW IN G DANCE: Let loose after a lesson, with live music by Swingset. Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 7 p.m., $8. Info, 223-4712. C O N TR A DANCE: The Queen City Contras host this northernstyle hoedown with Rachel Nevitt calling for Amy Cann and Friends. Kick things off with a potluck and

free lesson. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. $6. Info, 865-9363.

drama ‘SWEET BIRD OF Y O U T H ’: See April 8. ‘PETER PAN’: See April 9. ‘T H E LOGGER’: See April 9. ‘LITTLE W O M E N ’: See April 8. ‘T H E VELVETEEN RABBIT’: See April 7, 2 & 7 p.m.

film ‘IN JEST’: See April 10. ‘W IN G S OF T H E DOVE’: Helena Bonham Carter stars in this tale o f forbidden love adapted from Henry James’ 1902 novel. Dana Auditorium, Middlebury College, 3 6 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. ‘VELVET G O L D M IN E ’: The early careers o f David Bowie and Iggy Pop figure in this fan-filled flick from the ’70s. Loew Auditor ium, H ood Museum o f Art, Dart mouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 7 & 9:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422. ‘LITTLE VOICE’: Michael Caine plays the shifty agent in this movie about a reclusive girl with a knack for vocal imitation. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. O PE N PAINTING: Bring your palette and brush to this creative expression session. Art Gallery o f Barre, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 476-1030. W O R LD WAR POSTER ART TALK: An art prof presents posters o f W W I and W WII as “cultural artifact and historical witness” in conjunction with a new exhibit at the H ood Museum o f Art, Dart mouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 5 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2814.

words BENEFIT B O O K FAIR: Ring up your reading at a specially marked register and benefit the Champlain Islands Parent Child Center. Barnes

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& Noble, S. Burlington, noon - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. \ V ER M O N T WRITERS SERIES: Thurgood Marshall biographer Howard Ball, novelist Philip Baruth and radio commentator Ruth Page are featured at this literary lecture. S. Burlington City Hall, 2-4 p.m. $10. Info, 655-4758.

kids STORY TIME: Kids three and up listen to literature read aloud. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. FAMILY DANCE: Kids get a kick out o f this all-ages event led by Amy Cann. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. $2. Info, 658-0832. M O U SE CHARACTER READ ING: The four-and-under set reads Laura Joffe N um eroff’s I f You Give a M ouse a Cookie in the company, o f a friendly guest rodent. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. D U SK DRAM A WALK: Look for signs o f spring, and nocturnal life, on an evening stroll with a natural ist guide. Green Mountain Audubon Society, Huntington, 7 p.m. $7. Info, 434-3068. BREAD-BAKING W ORKSH OP: Children five and up and their folks rise to the occasion at a hands-on family food event. Montshire Museum o f Science, Norwich, 2 p.m. $10. Info, 649-2200.

sport APPALACHIAN TRAIL CHRONICLE: Three local hikers set out on the 2,100-m ile trail alone but ended up best buds. Come hear

their tale from the trek. Eastern Mountain Sports, S. Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0473. T EN N IS TOURNEY: Womens singles players swing into action at Twin Oaks Sports & Fitness, Kennedy Dr., S. Burlington, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 658-0001. BROOKFIELD ROAD WALK: Make the most o f mud season on this easy, steady five-miler. Meet at Montpelier High School, 12:40 p.m., or Pond Village Church, 1 p.m. Info, 479-2304.

etc WILDLIFE REHABILITATION CONFERENCE: See April 9, 8 a.m. - 9 p.m. T RA DESW O M EN ’S CONFER ENCE: See April 9, 8 a.m. - 5:45 p.m. ‘M EM ORY AFTER M E N O PAUSE’ DISCU SSIO N: Members o f the Green Mountain Older W omens League consider the neu rological implications o f estrogen. Trinity College Library, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 658-3642. ‘VEGETABLE GAR DENING FOR D U M M IE S’: Greenthumbed author Charlie Nardozzi offers tips on turning your home soil into a range o f veggies. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. NATIO NAL HISTORY DAY: Kids in grades six through 12 turn back the calendar with history pro jects in keeping with a “science, technology, invention” theme. Montpelier High School, 1-3 p.m. Free. Info, 828-2291. C O M P O ST IN G W ORKSHOP: Learn how to put waste to work in your own backyard. Shelburne Farms,

noon - 2 p.m. Info, 985-8686. ‘YOU ARE W HAT YOU EAT’: But do you know what you’re eat ing? A mini-conference makes the connection between environmental health, biotechnology and agricul ture. Vermont Law School, S. Royal ton, 9:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 763-2498.

Sunday music

• Also, see listings in Sound Advice. ANIMA: See April 10, St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, 3 p.m. BANG O N A CAN ALL-STARS: The cutting-edge musical troupe blends classical, rock, and jazz in a boundary-crossing concert featuring “Music for Airports,” by Brian Eno. Pre-performance discussions at 1 & 5:30 p.m. are free. See “to-do” listthis issue. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7 p.m. $16.50-25. Info, 863-5966. FIDDLE CONCERT: Sawyers convene for a monthly concert hosted by the Northeast Fiddlers Association. Burlington VFW Hall, 1-5:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 244-8537. V ER M O N T W IN D ENSEMBLE: Horn-blowing students perform spritely spring numbers like Joplin’s “Gladiolus Rag.” Ira Allen Chapel, UVM , Burlington, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040. NICARAGUA BENEFIT C O N CERT: Bring pencils, paper and art supplies to a musical fundraiser for needy schools in Nicaragua.

Goddard College, Plainfield, 5:30 p.m. $5. Info, 223-5616. V ER M O N T PHILH ARM ONIC ORCHESTRA: The ongoing search for a permanent conductor continues with “Music o f Expres sion and Color,” directed by Louis Kosma. Barre Opera House, 4 p.m. $12. Info, 454-1720. ‘M USIC AT T H E MILL’: Pete Sutherland heads up a set o f local musicians jamming to benefit the Bristol Friends o f the Arts. Cyclone Grist Mill, Bristol, 3-6 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684. CHAMBER CONCERT: Music prof and pianist Evan Hirsch is joined by Gary Gorcyzca and John Boden in a performance o f Rochberg’s Trio fo r Clarinet. Rollins Chapel, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama ‘T H E LOGGER’: See April 9, 2 & 7 p.m. ‘T H E VELVETEEN RABBIT’: See April 7, p.m. BINDLESTIFF FAMILY CIR CUS: This “vaudevillanous variety” show in the spirit o f Coney Island and P.T. Barnum features magic, sideshow marvels, circus feats and games. Higher Ground, Winooski, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 859-0052. ‘BACKW OODS PEDDLER’: Actress Leanne Ponder plays the 19th-century peddler Bright Venus Smith in this historical tale-telling with a little harp music thrown in. Hyde Park VFW, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 888-5942. ‘Y O U ’RE A G O O D MAN, CHARLIE BRO W N’ AUDI-

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TIO N S: Stowe Theatre Guild recruits players for a summer run o f the comic-inspired classic. Town Hall Theatre, Stowe, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 253-3961. ‘S O U N D OF M U SIC ’ A U D I TIO N S: The Fairfax Community Theater Company is seeking actors for a July production o f the family musical. Fletcher Union Meeting House, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-7294.

film ‘C O N T E M P T ’: Brigitte Bardot plays a woman harboring ill will toward her writer husband in Jean Luc Goddard’s 1963 Odyssey allego ry. Burlington College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9616. EXPATRIATES D O U BLE FEA TURE: Humphrey Bogart plays stoic Rick Blaine in the 1942 classic Casablanca. In Cabaret, Liza Minelli’s Berlin entertainer brings the house down before the Nazis steal the show. Spaulding Audit orium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 6:45 & 8:45 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

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‘LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD’: Two Thursdays, April 15 and 22, 6:308:30 p.m. Rice High School, S. Burlington. $25. Register, 860-3611. Vemoica Lopez-Schultz teaches voice and diction lessons.

aikido AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN VALLEY: Adults, Mondays - Fridays, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m., Saturdays, 911:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays &c Thursdays, 3:45-4:45 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $55/month, $120/three months, intro specials. Info, 654-6999. Study this graceful, flowing martial art to develop flexibility, confidence and selfdefense skills. AIKIDO OF VERMONT: Monday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m., Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m., Sunday, 1011:30 a.m. Above Onion River Coop, 274 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art o f Aikido in a safe and supportive environ ment.

aromatherapy ‘A ROMATHERAPY FOR FIRST AID’: Thursday, April 8, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Star Root, Battery St., Burlington. $25. Register, 862-4421. Learn how to use essential oils in emergency situations, and p u t together a first-aid kit to take home. AROMATHERAPY FOR HOME AND GARDEN: Thursday, April 22, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Star Root, Battery St., Burlington. $20. Info, 862-4421. Learn to use essential oils for spring cleaning and as household and garden helpers.

art BEGINNING WOODWORKING: Thursday and Sunday, June 3, 6-8:30 p.m. and June 6, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Harbor Rd., "Shelburne. Register, 985-3648. Get instruction in using a tablesaw, bandsaw, router, joiner and planer, and make a small project using these tools. ‘LA CLASS AUX FAUX’: Three Tuesdays, April 27, May 4 and 11, 9:30 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $50/class. Register, 8600687. Learn how to create great-looking faux ejfects with paint and glazes. ‘OIL PAINTING FUNDAM EN TALS’: Five Saturdays, May 1 through 22 and June 5, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $125. Register, 865-7166. Tad Spurgeon teach es oil painting to aspiring artists with competence in drawing. ‘A RTFUL LIFE’: Four Tuesdays, May 4 through 25, 7-8:30 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $36. Register, 8657166. Learn about the rendering o f the

human face and form in various styles o f art through slides and discussion.

astrology ASTROLOGY READINGS: Saturday, April 10, 12-6 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $25/half-hour. Info, 6608060. Get an astrological reading, and your chart printed while you wait.

career RESUME WRITING WORKSHOP: Thursday, April 8, 5:30-7 p.m. UVM Continuing Education Division, 322 South Prospect St., Burlington. Free. Info, 656-2085. Learn how to present your professionalism on paper. ‘CAREER FOCUS’: Monday, April 19, 12-4 p.m. Vermont Student Assistance Corp., Champlain Mill, Winooski. Free. Info, 800-642-3177. Adults clarify career interests and goals in this work-ori ented session.

childcare PLAYGROUP FACILITATOR TRAINING: Thursday, April 8, 6-8:30 p.m. Pine Street Childcare Center, Burlington. Free. Info, 864-8523. Train to facilitate parent-child playgroups for kids to age five.

computer CYBERSKILLS VERMONT: Ongoing day, evening and weekend classes. Old North End Technology Center, 279 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 860-4057, ext. 20. Take small, hands-on classes in Microsoft Office, the Internet and e-commerce.

cooking PACIFIC NORTHW EST FOOD AN D WINE: Monday, April 12, 6-9 p.m. Isabel’s On the Waterfront, Lake St., Burlington. $50. Register, 8652522. Sample salmon, wine and other flavors from Oregon and Washington state.

dance SWING DANCE: Six-week session starting April 11. Burlington. $40/person for six weeks. Info, 862-9033. Learn to do the Lindy Hop, the original style o f swing. SWING DANCE: Four-week series starting Monday, April 19, 6 p.m. (beginners), 7 p.m. (experienced). Plainfield Commifnity Center. Register, 454-8030. Beginners and experts practice swing with their partners. LATIN DANCE: Four-week series starting Monday, April 19, 8 p.m. Plainfield Community Center. Register, 454-8030. Warm up to spring as you learn to cha cha, salsa and tango. M ODERN JAZZ: Ongoing Tuesdays, 6-7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington. $8/class, $28/all four. Info, 860-3674. Get in shape as you learn to dance with grace, rhythm and flow.

MODERN DANCE: Ongoing Fridays, 7-8:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington. $9/class, $48/six. Info, 859-9621. Dancers o f all levels get instruction in modem technique and improv. BELLYDANCE: Thursdays and Saturdays, Nulty’s Dance Studio, Pearl St., Burlington. $40/six weeks. Info, 660-0601. Learn how the exquisite art o f bellydance can strengthen and tone your body and increase flexibility.

healing ‘THERAPEUTIC TO U C H ’: Ongoing Wednesdays, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. and 3-8 p.m. Middlebury. Donations. Info, 388-7684. Exchange stress and pain for health, with help from this 10-minute “balancing”session.

hypnotherapy HYPNOSIS CERTIFICATION: Saturday and Sunday, April 24 and 25. UVM Women’s Center, 34 S. Williams St, Burlington. $444. Register, 800898-4042. Train to become a certified hypnotherapist with a weekend intensive followed by home study.

kendo KENDO: Ongoing Wednesdays and Fridays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren Town Hall. Donations. Info, 496-4669. Develop focus, control and power through this Japanese samurai sword-fencing mar tial art.

language ITALIAN: Ongoing individual and group classes, beginner to advanced, adults and children. Burlington. Info, 865-4795. Learn to speak this beautiful language from a native speaker and expe rienced teacher. SPANISH: Ongoing individual and small group lessons. S. Burlington. Info, 864-6870. Make 1999 the year you learn to speak another language. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

meditation DIRECT AWARENESS MEDITA TION RETREAT’: Friday through Sunday, April 30 through May 2. Sky Meadow Retreat, East Corinth. $150 includes meals and lodging. Register, 533-2505. Get instruction, guided medi tation and inspiration to clear and focus the mind. ‘THE WAY OF TH E SUFI’: Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and move ment. MEDITATION: Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Green Mountain Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203, Williston.

Are you sick of asking Bob from Marketing to fix your computer problems?

Free. Info, 872-3797. Don’t jitst do something, sit there! MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations. GUIDED MEDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation for relaxation and focus.

photography PHOTOGRAPHY: Private or group, basic and intermediate classes. Grand Isle or Burlington. Info, 372-3104. Learn darkroom skills as well as how to choose, use and exploit the camera to express your creative style in color and black and white.

Activate and integrate “ fundamental forces” within you and “birth your divine child. ” /'

support groups NARCOTICS ANONYM OUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, Help Line, 862-4516. I f you’re ready to stop using drugs, this g o u p o f recovering addicts can offer inspiration. PROBLEM DRINKER?: Group now forming in Burlington. Free. Info, 8644635. Join a g o u p o f people seeking an alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous.

women HEROINE’S JOURNEY: Four Saturdays, May 1-22, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Montpelier. $135/four-week session. Info, 223-6714. Learn to use art, writ ing movement and sound as guides for conscious change toward passionate living.

pottery POTTERY CLASSES: Ongoing day, evening and weekend classes for all ages and levels. Vermont Clay Studio, Rt. 100, Waterbury Center. Info, 2241126. Enjoy the pleasures and challenges o f working with clay.

reiki REIKI CLINIC: Monday, April 12, 6:30-9 p.m. Rising Sun, 35 King St., Burlington. Free. Register, 865-9813. Experience the healing and relaxing ener gy o f Reiki. USUI REIKI INTRO TRAINING: Thursday through Sunday, April 15 through 18. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $ 150350. Info, 660-8060. Get basic or indepth training in this ancient healing art,

self-defense BUJINKAN NINJUTSU: Ongoing Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6:30-8:30 p.m. and Sundays, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Burlington. Info, 482-4924. This selfdefense style emphasizes relaxed, natural movement and distance to overcome an opponent. BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU: Ongoing classes for men, women and children, Monday through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Info, 660-4072 or 2539730. Escape fear with an integrated selfdefense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

spirit ‘RYSE’: Four classes beginning Thursday, April 22, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Burlington. Info, 888-3087. Learn to “realizeyour subtle energy systems. ” ‘WOMENCIRCLE’: Six-week support group. Burlington. Info, 862-8240. Women come togetherfo r support, inspi ration and spiritual connection. SACRED MARRIAGE, SACRED POWER: Thursday through Sunday, April 15 through 18. Woodstock Inn, Woodstock. $333. Register, 985-8709.

writing POETRY WORKSHOP: Thursdays, 1 p.m. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury. Free. Info, 388-7523. Bring a poem or two to read and discuss at this ongoing workshop. *

yoga KUNDALINI YOGA A N D MEDI TATION: Two eight-week sessions beginning in April. Shakti Healing, Burlington. Info, 655-3146. Discover the divinity dwelling within you. BEECHER HILL YOGA: MondaySaturday, daytime & evening classes for all levels. Info, 482-3191. Get private or g o u p instruction in integative yoga, vig orous yoga, yoga fo r pregnancy or yoga for health and well-being. BURLINGTON YOGA: Ongoing Mondays and Wednesdays, 5:30-7 p.m. Howard and Pine Sts., Burlington. Info, 658-3013. Find healing through Iyengar style yoga. YOGA: Wednesdays, 7 p.m. Green Mt. , Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Williston. $8. Info, 872-3797. Practice yoga with Deborah Binder. YOGA AT THE CREAMERY: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m., Fridays, 9:30-11 a.m., Saturdays, 45:30 p.m. The Creamery, Shelburne. $10/class, $60/eight classes. Info, 4822490. Practice Iyengar style yoga using props to a lig the body. YOGA VERMONT: Daily classes, 12 p.m., 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718. Astanga style “power”yoga classes offer sweaty Jim fo r all levels o f experience. YOGA VT, JERICHO: Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m. The Bird’s Nest, Rt. 15, Jericho Flats. Info, 660-9718. See above. YMCA YOGA: Ongoing classes. YMCA, College St., Burlington. Info, 862-9622. Take classes in various yoga styles. ®

NOW O PEN !

(Bob is.) a V—q✓

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For Tickets Call:

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O n -S ite P C , Mac and N e tw o rk Support.

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;Discounts for seniors and students through grade 12 “...A wickedly sharp observer of the human condition.” ...Rolling Stone A benefit concert for The WoKcpring School

Cosponsors: Tunbridge Glassworks*Anichini, Inc. • Windswept Productions VPR • Kimball Sherman &• Ellis • The Point

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Call now to schedule your next party! 1999' liiG E

* SEVEN DAYS

> page 35 {*£ 9 S E 1

alendar

The Windjammer Hospitality Group Presents:

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St. Mary’s School, Middlebury, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 388-6620.

Continued from page 34

april 7 - 1

the efforts o f the Vermont chapter o f the National Writers Union. Capitol Plaza Hotel, Montpelier, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 658-9667.

A Vermont Play in Two Ax Written & Performed by

R u s ty Dew ee

kids

12 monday

kids STORYTIME: Young readers delve into classic and new tales at a half-hour happening. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burling ton, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

Fiddle by Don Commo Tickets $10 at door

V e rg e n n e s O p e ra H o u se

sport

‘ April 9 & 10, 8pm \ • April 11, 2pm & 7pm • April 12r 7pm

T EN N IS TOURNEY: See April 10, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. PHILOSOPHY WALK: Members o f the Green Mountain Club bring up the big questions on a 10-mile hike along the “rail trail” from St. Albans toward Sheldon. Info, 524-1156.

fy r

Advance tickets available: call 877-6737. Tickets can also be purchased at Togo's, Second Star, Classic Stitching, and Greetings. Sponsored by WOKO 98.9, Catamount Brewery, Peter G. Andersen -Attorney at Law, Vermont Mack Inc., McGillicuddy's Irish Pub -Montpelier, Union Bank.

E ight W eek Session W ednesday, April 14, 7pm Sponsored by the Acupuncture a n d Chi Kung Health Center and the Vermont Kung Fu Academy

etc WILDLIFE REHABILITATION CONFERENCE: See April 9, 9 a.m. - noon. TRA DESW O M EN ’S CONFER ENCE: See April 9, 8-11 a.m. PANCAKE BREAKFAST: Start the day o lf with a community breakfast to benefit the PTO o f Hinesburg Elementary School, 811:30 a.m. $4. Info, 482-3372. C O M M U N IT Y AGRICULTURE M EETING: Take a farm tour and sign up for shares in organic pro duce at this land-wise gathering. Clay Brook Farm, Jericho, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 899-3743. K-5 SC H O O L O PEN HOUSE: A new principal welcomes comm u nity members to an old, historic building. Learn about the reopened

der in verse with verve. Grand Salon, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-7358.

drama

• Also, see listings in Sound Advice. ‘T H E LOGGER’: See April 9, 7 p.m. ‘S O U N D OF M USIC’ A U D I TIONS: See April 11, BFA Fairfax High School, St. Albans, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 893-7294.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: Artists of all abilities are welcome to partici pate in this weekly session. Fresco Studio, Union Station, Burling ton, 6-8:30 p.m. $3-5. Info, 862-4893.

words BO O K DISCUSSIO N: Leanne Leahy leads this discussion o f Christopher Tilghman’s M ason’s Retreat, Barnes & Noble, S. Bur lington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. FAMILY VALUES BOO K DIS CUSSIO N: Family comes first in a talk centered on Louis Begley’s National Book Award winner W artime Lies. Wake Robin, Shelburne, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-8307. LETTA NEELY: The poetry slam champion and author o f Juba blends race, class, justice and gen

‘SIN G ING W IT H MARY’: Local folkie Mary McGinnis plays for kids at the H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. CREATIVE MOVEMENT: Kids two to five get into the groove by using their bodies to dance and pretend. H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, noon - 12:45 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. STORYTIME: Children from three to five enjoy stories, songs, fingerplays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.

etc VER M O N T ADULT LEARN ING CENTER: See April 7. SEWING W ORKSHOP: Jean Wolvington lends an experienced hand at this stitching session. H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. AM NESTY INTERNATIONAL WRITE-IN: Save a life for the price o f a stamp. Use pen power against human rights abuses at the Unitarian Church, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-4838. MILAGROS SILVA: The work place rights advocate shares strate gies for community organizing at this lecture. Dinner starts the evening off at the North Lounge, Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-9338.

Acupuncturist, herbalist and martial arts master

E m e ra ld C ity N ig h tc lu b is an 1 8 + C lu b , fe a tu rin g th e a re a 's fin e s t live a c ts , in a firs t c la s s e s ta b lis h m e n t. We a re lo c a te d on ro u te 2 , ju s t 2 .5 m ile s fro m E x it 8 o ff I-8 9 , n e x t to th e “ H o u s e of T a n g " C h in e s e R e s ta u ra n t.

Arthur Makaris will teach the 10 ancient longevity exercises. These exercises have been practiced for over 2000 years by mystics, healers and scholars in

the sacred mountains of east Asia. The 10 ancient longevity exercises awaken the circulation of internal energy, called chi, throughout the mind and body.

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SUNDAY

IK MONDAY

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Cost $149. For more information call 878-7888.

V erm o n t K ung Fu A c a d e m y 878-7888

167 Pearl Street (Route 15) Essex Jet. 1/2 Mile East of Susie Wilson Road

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$3/57

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TUESDAY |

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107.1 WORK All Ages No Alcohol Dance Show w/ WORK DJ $7

Y O U R O W N HO M E! page 36

SEVEN DAYS

Call today to register for one of the following 45-minute orientation sessions: Mon, April 12 ,5 pm Thurs, April 2 2 ,6 pm W ed , April 28, N o o n Tues, May 4 ,5 :3 0 pm

660-0642 y f fjfg PARTNER

A program o f the . . Burlington Community Land Trust

april 7,1999

1 8

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7 Flying Club Monkeys & DJ Mr. Clean $2/$7

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S A T IH D A Y

Halogens & Zola Turn $4/$10

Jennifer Teft John & Smokin' Lackard Grass $7/$10 Blues Band $4/$10

1 5

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Mighty Loons & AYE $4/$10

SuperHoney $7/$10

2 1

107.1WORK All Ages No Alcohol Dance Shows w/ WORK DJ $7

Flying Club Monkeys & DJ Mr. Clean $2/$7

Jim with The Recipe $4/$10

2 Q

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1 4 SouLive w/ Flying Monkeys and DJ Mr. Clean $5/$7

All Ages No Alcohol $7

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WEDNESDAY

1 8 All Ages No Alcohol $7

Lodge

The NeighborW orks ® Hom eOwnership Center of Vermont provides homebuyer education, down payment assistance and affordable loan products to eligible buyers.

Featuring Eight Vermont C raft Brews On Draught, Daily Drink Sp e cia ls, A m erican FlatBread & the Finest Entertainment

Network

W E LL SH O W Y O U HO W !

2 9 Lee Lokey fea Treacherous turing Bass from Ambrosia Grooves and Bruce Hornsby &DJ $3/$10 Mr. Clean $4/$10

1 7 Good Question Band & Sensible Shoes $5/$10

2 8 Dysfunkshun w/ Canine S7/S10

2 4 SnakeRoot & The Miracle Orchestra $6/$10

3 0 Colline Hay lead singer of Men At Work &Chin Ho! $10ADV/$14 DOOR

1 Channel Two Dub Band (reg gae) $5/$10

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W O M E N ’S STUD IES LEC T UR E SERIES: English prof Yolanda Padilla considers “Queering Chicanismo” in a dis cussion o f Arturo Islas’ The Rain God. John Dewey Lounge, Old Mill, U VM , Burlington, 12:201:10 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4282. H O M EO W N ER SH IP O R IEN TATION: Potential buyers learn how to shop — and pay — for a home with the help o f the Burling ton Community Land Trust, 5 p.m. Free. Register, 660-0642. MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCES LECTURE: Dr. Evangelina Stefanakis put this theory into action. Get briefed on learning differences in the Farrell Room, St. Edmund’s Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. GEORGE W A SH IN G T O N LECTURE: Historian and Washington biographer Willard Sterne Randall unveils the man behind the myth. KelloggHubbard Library, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338. TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get information, supplies, screen ing and treatment for sexually related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 863-6326. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU P PORT GROUPS: Women Helping Battered Women facili tates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the Shelter Committee facil itates a meeting in Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0855.

v t

aoril 7 - 14

film

CAROLYN JONES SLIDE LECTURE: The documentary filmmaker o f L iving Proof: Courage in the Face o f A ID S shares inspirational stories from behind the lens. Room 101, Fleming Museum, UVM , Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 656-0789. ‘W HERE IS STEPHANIE?’: Filmmaker Bess O ’Brien intro duces this documentary examin ing the cycles o f abuse that led to the tragic death o f a Vermont teenager. Loew Auditorium, H ood Museum o f Art, Dart mouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 7 p.m. $20.50. Info, 603-646-2422.

tuesday music • Also, see listings in Sound Advice. S T U D E N T RECITAL: Beth Thompson Kaiser’s pupils play arias, art song and duets by Rossini, Mozart, Brahms, Schubert, Faure, Britten and Bernstein. St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0471. AM ATEUR M USICIANS ORCHESTRA: Vermont Sym phony violinist David Gusakov oversees this weekly harmonic convergence o f amateur musicians in the Music Room, S. Burling ton High School, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $5. Info, 985-9750. CASSANDRA W ILSON: The jazz vocalist travels miles in her melodic reading o f the Miles Davis songbook. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $18.50. Info, 603646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. LARGE FORMAT PH O TO G RAPHY TALK: In conjunction with an exhibition o f internation al photographers, gallery curator Emmie Donadio discusses “the big picture.” Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

words

dance

LETTA NEELY: See April 12, North Lounge, Billings Student Center, UVM , Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 656-0699. CHRIS BOHJALIAN: The Oprah-anointed author o f M idw ives and The Law o f Sim ilars discusses “Stories That Grow Out o f This Place Called Vermont” at two events. South Burlington Community Library, noon. Free. Info, 652-7080. Campus Center Theater, Billings

PERCUSSIVE D AN CE MAS TERCLASS: Rhythm in Shoes troupers teach clogging, tap and other significant steps. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7 p.m. $12. Register, 652-4500. CROSSPULSE: The percussive dance troupe bangs bells, bamboo tubes and bodies at a reverberat ing recital. Montpelier Union Elementary School, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 229-9408.

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Student Center, UVM , Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2010. ‘FILM, FEASTS A N D FIC T IO N ’: Readers compare the film and literary versions o f Laura Esquivel’s Like Water fo r Chocolate. Milton Public Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 4893-4644. BUR LING TO N WRITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9647.

kids ‘M USIC W IT H ROBERT RESNIIC: Kids sing songs with the musical host o f Vermont Public Radio’s folk show “All the Traditions.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. STORIES A N D CRAFTS: Children cut and paste to the chase after a morning story. Borders, Church St. Market place, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. HO M ESCH OO LERS GYM A N D CRAFTS: Stay-at-home students take part in extracurricu lar activities at the Burlington Boys and Girls Club, Oak St., Burlington, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. $1. Info, 860-1299. INFANT-TO DDLER PLAY GROUP: The under-three crowd crawls, climbs and colors while caregivers converse at this lunchincluded gathering. H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, noon - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. FATHERS A N D C H ILD REN

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S w eet Ch ao s:

T h e G r a t e f u l D e a d 's A m e r i c a n A d v e n t u r e

Published by Crown • A p r il

16th

• 7 pm

In this ruminative, entertaining memoir and cultural history, Carol Brightman sug gests the philosophical, aesthetic and personal factors that allowed the Grateful Dead to outlive it’s most famous member, Jerry Garcia, go beyond the band's creation of a uniquely tribal audience base. Using her sister Candace's career as lighting designer for the Dead, and her own political activism and journalistic encounters with the band as reference points, Brightman weaves together the subterranean connections among the spiritual, drug-driven 'heads, the politically active, rapidly disillusioned radical "New Left," and the larger society both subcultures reacted against. F r id a y

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V E R M O N T ADULT LEARN IN G CENTER: See April 7. O L D N O R T H E N D D INNER: Nosh with your neighbors at this community meal. Bring your own plate and cup to H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0984. ‘M O D E R N PR O PH E T ’ W ORKSH OP: Spiritual seekers bring their queries to an hourlong workshop based on A M odem Prophet Answers Your Key Questions A bout Life, by Harold Klemp. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. BLO O D DRAWING: Share a pint with a stranger at this Red Cross event. Ross Sports Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 12:30-5 p.m. Free. Info, 6542535. ‘ORNAM ENTAL GRASSES’ SLIDE SHOW: Tired o f mow-

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sport W O M E N ’S RUGBY: See April 8, 7:30-8:30 p.m.

The power and punch op rock... the precision and clarity op chamber. ” (New ycrk

TOGETHER: Dads and their kids get together for stories, crafts and a fatherly chat. H .O . Wheeler School, Burlington, 5-7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. STORY TIME: Kids under three listen in at the South Burlington Community Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. STORY H O UR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 89-3-4644.

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B O R D E R S B O O K S ' M U S I C - C A F E

29 Church St • Church Street Marketplace • 865-2711

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Fea tu rin g B ria n C u e's "M u sic te r A irp o rts" Sunday; April 11 at 7 pm From the cerebral to the surreal, the Bang on a Can All-Stars ' create fun-filled “new music” performances with soundscapes ranging from rock and jazz to classical and world musics. Performing on cello, bass, piano, percussion, electric guitar, clarinets, and saxophones, the virtuoso ensemble showcases Brian “Roxy Music” Eno’s seminal “Music for Airports,” as well as sizzling interpretations of other leading contemporary composers.

_____ ~~T«THEATREif

153 M ain S tr e e t, B urlington , VT 8 0 2 .8 6 3 .5 9 6 6 Coming Soon—

4/16-Rhythm in Shoes/Crosspulse 5/1-Meredith Monk, “A Celebration Service” 5/14-Charlie Chaplin Film Festival/Paragon Ragtime Orchestra

Most classes run April 19 - June 13 (Member fees in parentheses)

Gymnastics & Dance

Spinning Get into this non-competitive, high-energy group workout. It's fun, challenging and incredibly fun. Sign up for a class for 8 weeks. Offered Mon: 8-9am, 67pm, 7-8pm; Tue:6-7am,910am,Noon-1 pm,7-8pm; Wed: 6-7am,8-9pm; Thu:6-7am, 910am,Noon-1pm, 6-7pm; Fri:45pm;Sat: 9-10am;Sun:4-5pm. One class per week: $48(32), 2 classes per week: $94($62), 3 classes per week: $135(87)

Group Fitness YMCA A erobic Class Pass

Step, Aerobic Blast, Abs and more. 8 wks. for $79( Free). Tae Box High-energy class combining self defense and boxing moves for a total-body workout. Thu, 9 - 9:55 am or Fri, 6-7pm. $34 ($27) Yoga At 266 College St: Tuesdays, 9-9:55 am, $59 ($48) At Edmunds Elementary: Thursdays, 5:30 - 6:30 pm. $44 ($35)6 weeks. Physical Mind Class

(Pilates)Thursdays, 6-6:55 pm. $40 ($32) Tai Chi (see Martial Arts) W eight Loss Through W eight Training

Use strength training and cardiovascular workouts to lose fat and gain muscle definition. Participants are personally trained and supervised. Wellness lifestyle lecture included. Mon/Wed/Fri, 7-8 pm $81 ($54)

YMCA at Essex A t Five C orners* Cardio-Low Aerobics

Tues/Thurs. 6:10-7 pm. $55/Free. Kickboxing Tues/Thurs. 78:30 pm. $67 ($50)

Pre & Post-natal P ren atal W a te r Exercise

For pregnant and postpartum women. Mon/Wed. 7-8 pm. $55 ($39)

L ittle Gymies (12 mos - 3 yrs., w/ parent) Children explore hoops, balls, beam and more. Saturdays, 9:05-9:35 am. $42($25). Tiny Tum blers (4-5 yrs., w/ parent) Preschool gymnastics class with tumbling and movement. Saturdays, 9:40 10:10 am. $42 ($25) B eginner Gym nastics (6-12

yrs.) Use of beam, vault, rings and tumbling. Thursdays, 3-4 pm, and Saturdays, 10:15-11:05 am. $59 ($34).

Ballroom Dance in S o. Burlington

At Temple Sinai B allroom Dance II

For those who have taken a YMCA ballroom course, learn Fox Trot, Tango, Waltz, Rhumba and Swing. Sundays, 4-5 pm. April 25 June 6 $98 couple ($80). In Essex Junction

At the First Congregational Church Sim ply Swing Includes Lindy, Jitterbug, and East Coast Rhythms. Couples only. Thursdays, 7-8 pm. April 22 - May 13. $60/couple ($50). Totally Tango Add a touch of drama to your dancing in this fun class. Couples only. Thursdays: 7-8 pm. May 20 -June 10. $60 ($50) Sign up fo r Swing and Tango. $110 ($92).

Soccer Youth C linic Grades 7 8 8.

Keep skills sharp thru winter while learning new ones. Tue. 34pm $59($34).

Ninpo Ninpo is the basis for

ninja self-defense. Learn methods of striking and hand-tohand fighting. Suitable for adults of all fitness levels. Fridays, 7:10 - 8:30 pm. $69($51).

A ctiv e O ld e r A d u lts S ilver Foxes Moderately paced, co-ed exercise class for those over 50. Includes land exercise followed by optional water exercise. Mon/Wed/Fri, 8 9:30 am. Gym only, ends at 8:50 am, $68 ($4) Both gym and pool, $80 ($64) N ever-Too-Late-Nautilus

Strength training for folks over 50 to improve strength and energy levels, ease arthritis pain and build strong bones. Tue/Fri, 9 -10am. $48 ($32) Tai Chi (See Martial Arts) W a te r Tai Chi (See Water Fitness) A rth ritis Exercise (See Water Fitness)

Swim Lessons The YMCA offers swim lessons for people of all ages. For information on times and fees, please call 862-9622. Classes include parent/child classes for ages 6 months to 5 years, classes for independent swimmers ages 3 -5 years, youth swim classes for ages six and older, teen swim lessons and a d u lt lessons.

Community Swim Program The YMCA brings quality swim instruction to your backyard pool or community pool. Call 862-9622 for information.

W ater Fitness Splash & Tone Low-impact

workout Tue/Thur, 9 -1 0 am. $62 (Free) Tue/Thur, 6:30 - 7:30 pm. $62($44) W a te r Aerobics Fast-paced aerobic workout. Mon/Wed/ Fri. 6:15-7:15 am. $85 (Free) Mon/Wed. 6-7 pm. $62 ($44) Flt*n*Fun A great cardio vascular workout in the water followed by heart-pumping water games. Tue/Thu. 6:157:15 am. $62(Free) Aerobics and F it’n'Fun Combo Work out every

morning, $96 (Free) HydroPowerW ave High-

energy, low-impact workout. Tue/Thu, Noon-1 pm. $62(Free). W a te r Tai Chi Combine gentle moves of tai chi with calming effects of the water. Tuesdays, 12 pm. $31 ($22). A rth ritis W a te r Exercise

offered with the Arthritis Foundation, gentle exercises in our 86° pool help decrease pain and stiffness. Attend any of these classes for $70($45) : Mon -Fri. 1-2 pm, Tue/Thu. 8 - 9 am.

Call for information Free Senior Swim- Therapy Swim - Adaptive Swim Program - Masters Swimming - SCUBA Lifeguarding Course.

Financial assistance

Tum ble & Splash

Martial Arts Kids in K arate

Ages 7 and up, adults welcome. Develop endurance, coordination, strength & flex ibility. Tue/Thu 4 -5:15, $67 ($50) Tai Chi An ancient oriental practice that unites spirit, mind & body. Appropriate for all ages and fitness levels. Tue/Thu, 6:15 -7am $72 ($48) Kickboxing Basic skills of punching, kicking, blocking and use of the heavy bag. No full contact. A great whole-body exercise. Wednesdays, 6:45-8:15 pm. $44 ($32) Saturdays, Noon-1 pm, $36 ($24). Both days: $70 ($58)

Back-to-back classes for you and your child -- creative movement and tumbling, then a swim lesson. Group I: Ages 2 8 3 w/parent. Saturdays, 11amnoon. $68 ($53). Group II: Ages 3-5. Saturdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. $73 ($55).

Synchronized Swimming Develop control, agility and endurance in the water as you perform and choreo graph simple routines. Suitable for all ages who can tread water and float for more than three minutes. Wed. 4:20-5 pm. $62($44)

is available to those in need for programs 8 memberships.

G re a te r Burlington

YM CA 266 College S t. Burlington Call 862-9622 to register!

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We build strong kids, strong families, strong communities.

graphic design services:

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ing? Take a closer look at “unusual” perennials that could set your land apart. Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2878. CAREGIVERS FOR T H E MENTALLY ILL: Friends, family and anyone involved with the mentally ill get support at this monthly “share and care.” Howard Center for Human'Services, 300 Flynn Ave., Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-6683. ‘W O M E N AS PEACEMAK ERS’: Cora Weiss, president o f the Hague Appeal for Peace Foundation, discusses the female factor in the quest for world peace. Memorial Lounge, 2 Waterman, UVM , Burlington, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4929. OVEREATERS A N O N Y M OUS: Compulsive eaters weigh in on body image issues at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-8936. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU PPO R T GROUP: Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

W ednesday music • Also, see music listings in Sound Advice. ANI DIFRANCO: The pop diva plies the politics o f love and life in a return engagement at Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, 8 p.m. $22.50-25. Info, 863-5966. CHAM BER TRIO RECITAL: Students on violin, piano and cello perform Dvorak’s D um ky trio. Mead Chapel, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

dance ‘T H E N E IG H B O R H O O D PROJECT’: See April 7. ‘BODY M U SIC ’ W O RK SHOP: Keith Terry, director o f Crosspulse, teaches participants to use their bodies as musical instruments. Montpelier City Hall, 7 p.m. $5. Register, 229-9408.

drama O N E -A C T PLAYS: Students direct, act and design an eclectic selection o f short works. Royall Tyler Theatre, U VM , Burling ton, 7 p.m. $3. Info, 656-0094. ‘O N C E O N T H IS ISL A N D ’: Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty’s musical drama navi gates the waters o f the Carib bean, visiting ports o f love, loss and redemption. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535.

film ‘G O D S A N D M O N ST E R S’: Director Bill Condon’s 1998 drama explores the complex relationship between a gay man and his straight gardener. Spaulding Auditorium, H op kins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-6462422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See April 7.

N a il F r a u d

C o n tin u e d fro m p a g e 2 5

words LETTA NEELY: See April 12, Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. Dona tions. Info, 658-8623. POETRY APPRECIATION NIGHT: The iconoclastic work o f e.e. cummings is celebrated at this evening o f readings in a spring-time spirit. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7211. SO U T H E R N WRITERS DIS CUSSION: Merilyn Burrington leads a literary exploration of Lee Smiths O ral History. South Burlington Community Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. ENVIRONMENTAL BOOK GROUP: Are we participators or perpetrators in the natural world? That’s the question answered in this discussion o f Robert B. Edgarton’s Sick Societies. South Hero Commun ity Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 372-6209. PARENT-CHILD BOOK DIS CUSSION: Grown-up readers and their 11- and 12-year-old kids compare notes on Nancy Farmer’s The Ear, the Eye and the Arm . Deerleap Books, Bristol, 78 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684. DANIEL LUSK: The local poet reads from his new book of verse, Kissing the G round at the Isley Public Library, Middlebury, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 388-2061.

kids Y OUNG PARENTS A N D BABIES GROUP: Something . fun< and educational, isi always iry store at this gatherihg o f young parents and their kids up to age three. H.O . Wheeler School, Burlington, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. SO N G A N D STORYTIME: The under-three crowd drops in for tunes and tales. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTIME: Four- and fiveyear-olds enjoy stories, songs, fingerplays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STORIES: Little listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Children’s Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

etc V ER M O N T ADULT LEARN ING CENTER: See April 7. CHILDREN OF T H E HOLOCAUST TALK: What happens “When a Daughter o f Holocaust Survivors Meejs Children o f Nazis”? Psychologist Julie Goschalk lectures in con junction with the worldrenowned Anne Frank exhibit. Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. URBAN FORESTRY V O LUN TEERS: Branch Out Burlington holds its monthly meeting to spruce up the city. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-8245. A .D .H .D . PARENT SU P PORT NIGHT: Doctors and educators discuss research and medication for kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Austin Auditorium, Fletcher Allen Healthcare, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 6 5 1 -7 6 1 5 .®

renovated hands. For about a week, I felt like an entirely different per son — an imposter, really, posing as a woman with Academy Award-winning nails. It was like taking a trip without going any where^ Still, I felt compelled to clue people in. “By the way, my nails are fake,” I told the health insurance salesman, advertisers, chil dren o f friends, as if the blazing red beauties might mislead strangers into think ing I was someone I am not — a person who spends time and money on laquering dead cells. ; Having fingernails forced me to face my own preju dices, forged from a com bi nation o f “natural” philoso phy and nail envy. Showing off my hands at the Y one

day, I got a taste o f my old medicine. “W hy don’t you write about how women are enslaved by fashion?” one o f my p.c. pool buddies sug gested. I stopped short o f firing back, “I was thinking more along the lines o f how these long fake fingernails have set me free.” As it turned out, notic ing nails was not a big priori ity for people. Even good friends might have missed the stunning transformation if I hadn’t pointed it out, over and over again. Ticehurst was right about lovely nails when she warned, “Nobody enjoys them but you.” She nailed another good point as well: “Once you see how pretty they look, you will never want to pick at them again.” Nothing reforms a veter an nailbiter like a second chance. (Z)

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Hers is aface that scarcely needs an introduction any where in the Western world, and more thanfive decades after her death, Anne Frank’sfamous diary evokes as powerful a reaction as the day it was discovered. The living tes tament to the Holocaust — and the lessons it still holds — are the subject ofa touring exhibit, ‘Anne Frank: A Historyfor Today, ”currently on dis play at Burlington City Hall. Tuesdays reception includes a talk with Jack Polak, Chair Emeritus of DEAR DIARY

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T he Rose Street Gallery in Burlington is soliciting artworks that “capture the essence, power or magnificence o f light” in all media for an exhibit, “A Celebration o f Light.” Deadline: M ay 21. For info, call 8 6 2 -3 6 5 4 . Northern Vermont Artist Association members are invited to subm it works for the 69th Annual June Juried Show at the Mary Bryan M emorial Hospital in Jeffersonville. Deadline: M ay 15. For info, call 8 9 3 -2 9 5 1 .

Mon-Sat: 9-9/Sun: 11-5 • 862-0646 518 Shelburne Rd. Next To Mall 189

o p e n i n g s 22 INTANGIBLES, featuring time-spe cific works o f 22 artists and groups — performance, reading, live broadcast, experimental music, interactive video, and more. Polaroid documentation of the works are accumulating on the walls. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Bur lington, 864-8040, ext. 121. Install ation by Charity Wheelock, April 7; performance by Torin Porter, April 8; music by Construction Joe, April 9; installation by Maea Brandt, April 14. All shows at 7 p.m. ANNIE CASWELL: MIXED MEDIA, fea turing watercolors and graffiti images from around the world. Burlington College, community Art Gallery, Burlington, 862-9616. Reception April 7, 7-9 p.m. THE CLOTHESLINE PROJECT, featur ing T-shirts decorated to commemo rate Sexual Assault Awareness Month, sponsored by the Womens Rape Crisis Center, Burlington, 864-0555. T-shirt generating workship April 8, 9 a.m. 3 p.m., in the Oasis Room, UVM Womens Center; display April 13, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m., around the UVM Campus. ELDER ART SHOW, new work under the tutelage o f Mark Montalban. Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Reception April 8, 1-4 p.m. JIM RICHMOND, 35 years of figurative

paintings and studies of people and animals. Supreme Court Building, Montpelier, 828-3278. Reception April 8, 5-7 p.m. STUDIO PLACE ARTS SPRING EXHIB IT, featuring 23 artists whose work is shown in support of renovation of Barre’s Nichols Block arts center. Vermont Arts Council’s Spotlight Gallery, 136 State St., Montpelier, 229-2766. Reception April 9, 5-7 p.m. SHAPES OF THE ROAD, SHAPES OF THE SEA, Italian photography by Lina Maria Testa, B8 Stonehedge Dr., S. Burlington, 865-4796. Studio exhibit April 9, 7-9 p.m.; April 10-11, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. FOCUS ON THE BODY, West African Body Ornaments of Brass. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 603-646-2809. Reception April 10, 6 p.m. JACOB LAWRENCE, AESOP’S FABLES, featuring pen-and-ink drawings for the classic tales. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 603-646-2809. Reception April 10, 6 p.m. A PAINTED JOURNAL, paintings by Carol Rosalinde Drury and Harold Arthur Drury. Daily Planet Restaurant, Burlington, 862-9647. Reception April 11, 3-7 p.m. KEN VAVREK: NEW WORK, ceramic wall sculptures by the Philadelphia clay artist. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Slide talk by the

weekly-listings ' > page 40

SEVEN DAYS “ aprit7, t999u

artist April 11, 1-3 p.m.; reception 3-5 p.m. BOOK OBJECTS & NEW WINE TOP FOLLIES, by Roy Levin and Gabrielle Dietzel. Francis Colburn Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-2014. Reception April 12, 5-7 p.m. ANNE FRANK: A HISTORY FOR TODAY, a traveling historic exhibit from the Anne Frank Center USA in New York City. Burlington City Hall, 865-7166. Reception April 13, 5:30-8 p.m. in Contois Auditorium, with a talk by Jack Polak, Chair Emeritus of the Board, and Cora Weiss, President of the Hague Appeal for Peace Campaign.

o n g o i n g BURLINGTON AREA BOMBS AWAY, collage reactions to the bombing in Kosovo by UVM students Megan Palchak, Ellen Janson and Jason Bogan. One Wall Gallery, Seven Days, Burlington, 864-5684. Through April. WILLARD ELMORE, figurative artwork by the self-taught artist. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144. April 10 - May 7. VALERIE UGR0, recent artwork. Bread &C Beyond, Williston, 849-6185. Through April. SECRET CODES, minimalist landscape paintings by Hugo Anderson, and ceramic sculptures evoking ancient cul tures by Peter Hayes. Doll-Anstadt

www.sevendaysvt.com

Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through April.

INHERENT M ISTAKES, INHERITED TRAITS, photographs by M atthew Thorsen. Rhombus Gallery, Burling ton, 865-3144. Through April 10. TOM LAWSON, paintings, and DAVID POWELL, “The Veil o f Memphis and Other Related Images for the Age o f N ew H ope.” Red Square, Burlington, 859-8909. Through May 1.

WAITING FOR THE BREAD TO RISE AND OTHER VARIATIONS, handmade monoprints from sketches outside the kitchen window, by Roy N ewton. Red O nion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through May 23. INTREPID VIBRATIONS, an exhibit o f posters by abstract artist David Peroff. Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through April. HOMAGES, handmade prints o f jazz musicians, Grand Isle farms and things, by Roy N ewton. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through April.

FARR CROSS AND OTHER ROADS LESS TRAVELED, landscape paintings by Tad Spurgeon. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through May 5.

PROCESS/PROGRESS, a six-week evo lution o f sculpture, painting, installa tion and more, with artists in the gallery daily. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Through May 9. RECENT ADDITIONS, featuring award winning craftwork from potter Nicholas Seidner, mixed-media artist Eve-Marie Bergren, furniture maker David Hansen, ceramic sculptor John Brickels, wood folk artist Nancy Frost Begin and ceramic jeweler Martha Enzler. Frog H ollow Craft Gallery, Bur lington, 863-6458. Through April 18. VERY SPECIAL ARTS VERMONT, fea turing art by children and adults o f all abilities. Rose Street Artists Coop Gallery, Burlington, 862-3654. Through April 10. WENDY MOORE, monotypes. Better Bagel, W illiston, 879-2808. Through May. LESLIE FRY: Recent Monoprints. Enhancements, Burlington, 862-2505. Through May 1. GEORGE SMITH: SCULPTURE AND DRAWINGS, and TOIL AND SPIN: RECENT WORK BY KATHLEEN SCHNEIDER. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through May 16 and June 6, respectively.

SM ALL-SCALE 20TH-CENTURY SCULPTURE from the permanent col lection. Wilbur Room, Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through April 11. GRANNIS GALLERY, featuring the work o f designer/goldsmith Tim othy Grannis and other jewelry artists. Bank Street, Burlington, 660-2032. Ongoing.

CENTRAL VERMONT THE BIG PICTURE, featuring large-for mat photography from European and American artists. Middlebury College Museum o f Art, 443-2069. April 8 August 1. BLOWING IN THE WIND, showcasing Vermont-made whirlygigs, weathervanes, kites, windsocks and mobiles. Frog H ollow State Craft Center, Middlebury, 388-3177. April 9 May 24. SELECTED LANDSCAPES, oil and acrylic paintings by Kirk Fernald. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 2290522. Through April 26.

GENERATION OF CHANGE: VERMONT, 1820-1850, featuring artifacts and documents that examine how the state dealt with issues such as slavery, tem perance, religious diversity and more. Vermont Historical Society, Pavilion Building, Montpelier, 828-2291. Begins April 10.

THE ART IN THE CURRICULUM, fea turing the artwork o f Joy Spontak and her Crossett Brook M iddle School stu dents. City Center, Montpelier, 223-

5624. April 11 - May 2.

SOMEWHERE IT’S SPRING, watercolors and oil pastels by Pria Cambio. Cafe Delilah, Montpelier, 229-9649. Through April. BRIDGES, oil paintings o f Vermont bridges by David Smith. Institute for Social Ecology, Plainfield, 454-8493. Through April. ROOT CELLAR, acrylic paintings on paper by Heidemarie Heiss Holmes. City Hall Artists’ Showcase, M ont pelier, 229-2766. Through April 28.

FIFTEEN ARTISTS, TEN YEARS OF DIALOGUE, a group show o f mixed media by Vermont artists. T.W. W ood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through May 9.

ANNUAL STUDENT ARTS EXHIBIT, featuring artworks in mixed media by area youth. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rudand, 775-0356. Through April 15. THE NAIVE SPIRIT, fine examples o f folk art from the permanent collec tion. T.W. W ood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through August 1. THE WARMTH OF WORDS: Wisdom and Delight Through Storytelling, fea turing recorded stories by Vermonters aged 10 to 90. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through April.

18 AMERICAN PAINTINGS FROM THE SHELBURNE MUSEUM, including landscapes, portraits and still lifes. Middlebury College Museum o f Art, 443-5007. Through April 25. SILKSCREEN PRINTS by Sally Stetson. Shimmering Glass Gallery, Waterbury, 244-8134. Ongoing. ELLEN HOFFMAN, pencil drawings, and TOM MERWIN, paintings. Merwin Gallery, Castleton, 468-2592. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, fea turing re-constructed objects o f all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing. FURNISHINGS AND PAINTINGS by Ruth Pope. Ruth Pope Gallery, Montpelier, 229:5899. Ongoing.

NORTHERN JKYM, hand-dyed linen, canvas and silk home furnishings, wearable art. Johnson Artisan Shop, 635-9809. Through April.

19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERI CAN ARTISTS including landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Ongoing. IM PRESSIONS, oil paintings by Lorraine C. Manley. Sugar Mill Art Gallery, St. Albans, 893-7860. Through April.

ELSEWHERE MOUNTAIN LAKE COLLECTION, fea turing paintings by Vermonter Barbara Smail and Terry Tomalty from St. Bruno, Quebec, preceding an auction to benefit public television station WCFE. Plattsburgh Art Museums Burke Gallery, 518-564-2474. Viewing April 10-18; Auction broad cast April 23, 24 and 25. ON ALL FRONTS: Posters from the World Wars in the Dartmouth Collection, and SARAJEVO: RECENT WAR POSTERS, more than 100 origi nal posters from World Wars I and II, and the siege o f Sarajevo. H ood Museum o f Art, Dartmough College, Hanover, N .H ., 603-646-2426. Through July 4.

MONET AT GIVERNY, Masterpieces from the Mus^e Marmottan, featuring 22 large paintings by Claude Monet, inspired by his Parisian garden. Museum o f Fine Arts, Montreal, 514285-1600. Through May 9. ®

PLEASE N O TE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate alt o f the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. A rt in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, w ith occasional exceptions, w ill not be accepted.

Anderson’s triptych, “Twilight Virga,” contains these similar characteristics, but the bands have been reor ganized across the three can vasses and a few other ele ments introduced. In these, the white layer is central, the blacks are above and below, and the grays have become rectangles that hang in the fields. Subtle stenciled letters populate the negative spaces like stars barely visible in a cloudy sky, and stirring hints o f blue range along the tops o f the canvasses. These tranquil fields upon the walls are complemented by the equally graceful, bur nished raku sculptures o f Peter Hayes. His forms and “Jonquils & Swift Sands,” by Deborah Randall colors have many internation al roots, but the dominant influence is the spiritual Loosely rendered in “Tastes B y M arc A wodey abstraction o f West Africa. Like Christmas” are three, His “disks” are large, free indistinct, jalapeno-shaped n a dramatic departure standing circles, each with a light bulbs that trip across a from its usual format o f small hole in the center like pea-green universe streaked by two separate but equal ornamental coins. “Raku Disk vestiges o f cobalt blue. It is exhibitions, Burlington’s DollMounted on Welsh Slate” is complemented and enlivened Anstadt Gallery has installed a nearly two feet in diameter, its by an Indian red rectangle in trinity of artists this month. color an alabaster white rib the upper left o f the image. The energetic abstractions of boned with thin strands of Hugo Anderson was one Deborah Randall o f Winslow, crimson and cerulean blue. Its o f the first artists to exhibit at Maine, fill the front gallery. squat yet geometric stand o f Doll-Andstadt. His November Denver artist Hugo Anderson green slate has a weathered, 1997 show was a harbinger o f is featured in the adjacent burnished patina. These sur many first-rate exhibits, and room, along with the bril faces are a hallmark o f Hayes’ his encore appearance is no liantly executed raku objects work — some rival Santa less robust. Anderson focuses o f British artist Peter Hayes. Clara blackware, while his red on grays that range from near While the artists are individu pieces take on an almost ly black to nearly white in this ally compelling, the threefold leathery sheen. show, and he’s maintained a effect makes for an extraordi In addition to his disks, mindfully austere aesthetic. nary exhibit. Hayes uses a “bow” form that “British Columbia, Black Literal elements fused with looks like a formalism mark Randall’s tur long, smooth, bulent works. Hers are etudes free-standing o f contrasting intensity. Belts kWhile the artists are indi pouch. The o f yellow ocher resemble the bows often thorax o f a great bee in her viduallv com pelling, the have a small work “Buzz,” but this large, keyhole-shaped vertically organized, mixednotch in the media flurry o f gestural marks top edge, as in n extraordinary exhibit. is about far more than bugs. “Red Keyhole It’s about watery swaths o f Split Bow paint versus jagged scribbles Form.” The split referred to is & W hite” is a vertical oil on o f charcoal. It’s about organic a central area o f combed tex canvas that defines heaven, colors: yellow ocher and red create a dominant salmon hue sky and water in three expans ture that runs down the frontal face o f the form. es o f light, dark and medium that works with sweeps o f “Keyhole Bow Form with value. The narrower horizon ultramarine to build underly Blue Wave” is a white piece o f tal band demonstrates the ing spatial intervals beneath raku similar in color to the Impressionist notion that the inexhaustible, thready large disk, but in this case is a black does not really exist; charcoal lines. Veridian translucent blue band blended Anderson has layered his tene swatches toward the right of from resin and ceramic. When brous vista from blends o f the picture lead into patches fired and burnished it possess brown and blue to create a o f brown that counterpoise es the inner fire o f blue blackness that exceeds raw the black and ocher bands at quartz. ivory black. Likewise, his the left. The evenness o f the artis broad white firmament is lay Randall’s oil on board tic prowess presented at Dollers o f ashen gray as well as pieces contain the same sort Andstadt Gallery this month white-on-white, and the bot o f irrepressible energy. Paint is is a curatorial masterpiece. tom field o f the canvas is a ^thicker in these, and the invo gradation o f grays that yields a There are no weak spots in luted lines are created in oil the exhibit at all. ® meditative effect. stick as well as charcoal.

Deborah Randall, Hugo Anderson and Peter Hayes, Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington. Through April.

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THE MATRIX***"2 Keanu Reeves can’t act his way out o f a paper bag. Luckily it’s not a paper bag he finds himself trapped in here, but rather an entire world that’s revealed to be an elaborate computer program. Laurence Fishburne can act like nobody’s busi ness, o f course, and he co-stars as a sort o f hacker John the Baptist in T h e M a tr ix , the high-tech, high-concept and highly entertaining story o f a group of humans in search o f a messiah. I’d probably have better luck explaining the principles o f quantum physics than the premise o f this movie, but here goes: In the beginning, Reeves is a reclusive twentysomething cyberwhiz who earns his living designing software. One night he receives a cryptic message on his com puter screen. Apparently a shadowy figure called Morpheus has been searching for him. This works out great, because Reeves has heard of this guy and been looking for him, too. Something about the fellow’s having tapped into the ulti mate answer to the ultimate question. Before the two can link up, however, Reeves is taken into custody by agents o f a murky uberbureau o f some kind. These guys possess super human speed and strength and all look like they’ve rented M e n in B la c k a few too many times, if you know what I mean. They want Reeves to lead them to Morpheus. When he refuses, a cyborg crayfish burrows into his navel. Eventually, Reeves and Fishburne do meet.

films

RUN F R I D A Y ,

APRIL

sh o w tim es North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Message in a Bottle 12, 2:30, 5:05, 7:30, 10. Blast From the Past 12:45, 5:30, 9:50. A Bug’s Life 12:15, 2:15, 6:45. Patch Adams 4:15,9:15. You’ve Got Mail 3, 7:45. October Sky 12:30, 5:15. Stepmom 2:45, 7:15, 9:45. Eve shows daily, matinees Sat-Sun unless otherwise indicated.

CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 Go* 12:20, 2:50, 5:15, 7:30, 9:55. The Out of Towners 12:15, 2:30, 4:55, 7:05, 9:20. 10 Things I Hate About You 12:10, 2:35, 5, 7:25, 9:50. Matrix 12:40, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. Never Been Kissed 12, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:40. Mod Squad 10. Doug’s First Movie 12:30, 2:45, 4:45, 7. Forces of Nature 12:05, 2:15, 4:40, 7, 9:35. The King and I 12, 2:20. Ed TV 12:50, 3:40, 6:45, 9:25. Analyze This 4:30, 7:10, 9:45. All shows daily.

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. True Crime 6:45, 9:20. 10 Things I Hate About You 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 7:15, 9:40. Matrix 12:40, 3:30, 6:40, 9:25. Cruel Intentions 9:30. Analyze This 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:35. Baby Geniuses 12:30, 2:45, 4:50. Doug’s First Movie 1, 3:15, 5 , 7 . All shows Sat/Sun. Eves only Mon-Fri.

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The latter explains that: a) Everything Reeves has ever seen, touched or tasted is an illusion; b) It’s all an ultrasophisticated program designed to keep the last few members o f the human race docile while computers interbreed with the species and wipe it out. N ot to mention c) Everyone’s been waiting for The Saviour to deliv er them, and Reeves is their boy. Okay, so maybe it sounds a little like D u n e meets I n v a s io n o f th e B o d y S n atch ers. Or, for that matter, any number o f recent high-priced sci-fi effectsfests. But there’s something about the look, score, pacing, mood and, yes, even the special effects here that makes T h e M a t r i x way more fun than most o f these deals. The latest from Larry and Andy Wachowski, the fraternal filmmaking duo behind 1996’s B o u n d , the picture flavors the digital bells and whistles common to adventure fantasy with generous servings o f existential angst and frontier shoot-out-style excitement. The film’s a big-screen grab bag in the best sense of the word, offering thrills, chills and mind candy by the handful. The final act’s face-off clearly leaves the door open for a follow-up, and I do confess to mixed feelings about that. On one hand, when some thing’s this tasty, who doesn’t want seconds? On the other, the Wachowskis are such a double helping o f hotshot breakthrough movie genius, it would be great to just let the pair wander where their talent takes them and see what they cook up next. ®

College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Waking Ned Devine 1:4 0 , 7 :10. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels 1:5 0 , 4 :2 0 , 7 :2 0 , 9 :5 0 . EdTV 4 :3 0 , 9 :4 0 . Never Been Kissed 1, 3 :4 0 , 7 . 9 :3 0 . Elizabeth 1:2 0 , 4 , 6 :4 0 , 9 :10. Shakespeare in Love 1:3 0 , 4 :10, 6 :5 0 , 9 :2 0 . Life is Beautiful 1:10, 3 :5 0 , 6 :3 0 , 9 . All shows daily.

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GO From Swingers director Doug Liman comes this dark comedy about a group o f friends and what befalls them when a drug deal goes bad. Katie Holmes, Scott W olf and Jay Mohr star. (R)

AMERICAN HISTORY X*** From first time feature director Tony Kaye comes

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naughty twentysomethings. Yadda yadda. (R) MEET JOE BLACK** From The Scent o f a Woman to The Stench o f Death? Well, sort of. In the latest from Martin Brest, Brad Pitt plays a Grim Reaper who decides to get physical and sam ple the pleasures o f the flesh. Claire Forlani, for example. W ith Anthony Hopkins and Jefrey Tambor. (PG-13)

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the story o f an ex-skinhead trying to save his brother from a life o f hate crimes. Edward Norton and Edward Furlong star. (R) BELOVED**1^2 Oprah Winfrey and Danny Glover star in Jonathan Dem m e’s adaptation o f Toni Morrisons Pulitzer Prize-winning novel about an escaped slave haunted by a murdered child. (R)

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GODS AND MONSTERS**** Christopher Brain’s 1995 novel provides the basis for this buzzhappy look at the last days of director James (Frankenstein) Whale. Ian McKellen stars. (R) EDTV*** Surprisingly enough, Ron Howard’s new real life-as-TV comedy isn’t based on The Trum an Shaw, but rather an obscure 1994 Canadian picture called Louis XDO K in g o f the A irw aves. Not that it matters, since everyone on Earth is going to compare it to Peter Weir’s movie, anyway. Matthew McConaughey stars in the role of Tru,. fT mean, Ed? (PG-13)? C

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NEVER BEEN KISSED*** Drew Barrymore stars here as a Chicago magazine writer who researches a piece on today’s youth by going undercover and attending high school. And Raja Gosnell directs. David Arquette co-stars. (PG-13) FORCES OF NATURE**1/2 Uh-oh, Sandra Bullock Alert! The bubbly flop magnet tries to drag Ben Affleck down with her this time, as the two make an unlikely love connection in this romantic come dy conceived by executives at Dreamworks. Bronwen Hughes directs. (PG-13) THE KiNGIAND l**1/2 Miidhdii TEETHINGS I'HATC ABOUT'1' br’° ^kiBfi^d^brf ‘ ahd Martin VidnOvtc YOU** V2 You'd never guess it by lend their voices to Richard ( The looking at our mean I.Q. scores, Fox a n d th e H ound) Rich’s animat but were apparently a nation of ed version of the 1951 musical. rabid Shakespeare fanatics. First (G) there was that Best Picture Oscar. BABY GENIUSES** Kathleen Now The Tam ing o f th e S hrew gets Turner returns to the screen in this updated as the story of a popular comedy about an evil scientist sophomore who’s forbidden to who tries to create a super race of have a boyfriends until her older toddler smartypants. Christopher sister gets one, too. Julia Stiles and Lloyd and Dom DeLuise co-star. Larisa Oleynik star. (PG-13) Bob Clark directs. (PG) THE OUT-OF-TOWNERS*** From ELIZABETH**** Cate Blanchett the director of George o f the Jungle stars in this look at the life of the comes this update of Neil Simon’s 16th-century royal. (R) 1970 comedy about a couple CRUEL INTENTIONS**1/2 This whose marriage and sanity are put isn’t the first time Les Liaisons to the test by a visit to New York. Dangereuses has been brought to Goldie Hawn and Steve Martin the big screen, but first-time direc star, (PG-13) tor Roger Kumble has come up LOCK, STOCK AND TWO SMOK with something of a first anyway: ING BARRELS*** British director He’s set the classic tale of lust and Guy Ritchie has a huge hit on his manipulation in a modem high hands across the pond with this school. Ryan Phillippe, Sarah action-packed saga of East End Michelle Gellar and Reese lads who earn the wrath of an Witherspoon star. (R) underworld heavy. (PG-13) ANALYZE THIS***1' 2 Harold TRUE CRIME***1/2 Clint Ramis has a knack for memorable, Eastwood directs and stars in this smarter-than-average comedies, adaptation of the 1997 best-seller and this looks like it might make by Andrew Klavan about a downhis hit list one longer. Billy Crystal and-out reporter in a race against plays a suburban shrink. Robert the clock to save the life of a De Niro co-stars as his newest death-row inmate he believes is patient, a powerful mob boss. innocent. With James Woods and With lisa Kudrow. (R) Isaiah Washington. (R) SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE*** John DOUG'S FIRST MOVIE**1/2 He's (M rs. Broum) Madden directs this the hardest working ’toon in show wisely praised look at what the business. His popular half-hour early years of the bard’s career and show appears on both The love life might have been like. Nickelodeon Channel and ABC. Now he makes the leap screen with this full-length featun from director Maurice Joyce. •> ..— Featuring the vocal stylings of ■ edy took the Grand Jury Prize at Billy West and Fred Newman. (G) this veari Cannes fetival. In addi-^^

tion to directing and co-writing, he also stars as an Italian-Jewish father who tries to shield his son from the truth about concentra tion camps by pretending the whole thing’s an elaborate contest with great prizes. (PG-13) A BUG’S LIFE**** A n t z may have made it to the theaters first, but everything I’ve seen indicates Pixar’s clever computer-driven comedy will have no trouble com mitting insecticide at the box office. Featuring the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and 2 Lopk for lots o f Sleepless in Seattle fans to ' wait on line for tickets to this Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan reunion from the very same screenwriter. The two fall for one another in an Internet chat room while oblivious to the fact that they are business rivals in the non-virtual world Greg Kinnear co-stars. Nora Ephron directs. (PG) OCTOBER SKY*** The true story of an underprivileged boy who rises above his lowly lot to realize his dream of a place in the space program. Jake Gyllenhaa! and Laura Dem star. Joe Johnston directs. (PG) STEPMOM* From Mrs. D oubtfire director Chris Columbus comes this weeper about the relationship between an ailing, abandoned wife and her ex-husband s new girlfriend. Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts star, (PG) MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE**172 Kevin Costner attempts to get his career back on track with this fes tival of sensitivity about a journal ist (Robin Wright Penn) who searches for the author of a bottleborne note. Paul Newman costars. (PG-13) B U S T FROM THE PAST*** Hollywood loves to make movies about characters who suddenly pop into the modern world and experience life as we know it for the first time (Forever Young, C ity o f Angels, M e e t Joe Black) , even if it isn’t always thrilled with the busi-

They can’t all be classics. In fact, what we’ve got for you this week are scenes from four pictures that barely even registered in the public consciousness and did so-so business at best. They came and went faster than you can say “straight-to-video.” Your job is to convince us they are gone but not forgotten.

o For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday and Friday on News Channel 5!

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n the fall o f my thirtieth year, I made a pact with myself: I decided to dress ike an adult. I was living in Boston at the time, and the decision came on te heels o f a weekend trip to view York. For one thing, that city will make any out-of-towner — which, after six years away, I had to admit I was — reconsider her wardrobe. What’s more, the friends I visited there tad all adopted a decidedly grown-up look. Their lives arimmed with activity, friends, significant others, work they oved; and their clothing, it seemed, reflected that involve ment with the world. They lo oked together, I thought, because they f e l t together. But on the drive back to 3oston, somewhere along loute 84, I had a revelation: Vlaybe I could work backwards, rom the outside in. In other words, if I, slacker extraordi naire, started d re ssin g like a yown-up, I would also start laving the kind o f busy, responsible grown-up life that

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all my well-dressed New Yorker friends had. My wardrobe at the time consisted primarily o f bleachspotted T-shirts, moth-eaten sweaters and threadbare, grassstained jeans. Most o f my clothes were at least 10 years old. I had always considered this look to be proof o f my anti-materialistic sensibilities, but it occurred to me now that all it ultimately reflected was my reluctance to own up to adulthood. So beyond acquiring some fancy new duds, my wardrobe overhaul really involved facing facts, embracing my station in life, with flair — and all the proper accessories. I never went so far as to think that if I bought the sandwashed silk blouse and slim-fit pants from J. Crew I’d automat ically have some power appoint ment to wear them to. My logic distinguished itself from the rhetoric o f advertising in this regard. It was mainly a question o f taking myself more seriously: If I had the pants and blouse, a steady, full-time job suddenly wouldn’t seem out o f character — and then I’d actually go out

Bevond acquiring some ancy new duds, my wardrobe overhaul really nvolved facing facts, ' mbracing my station in ife, with flair — and all he proper accessories. and get one. And how far away, ultimately, were looking and acting from actually bein g? Let the philosophers split those hairs; I was going to the salon to get my ends trimmed. I established a spending limit, immediately reached it with a couple o f quick phone calls to J. Crew and Tweeds, and then promptly abandoned it, reasoning that it had been so long since I’d gone on a fullfledged shopping spree that my budget had simply been unreal istic. Besides, what was the point o f buying the pants if you didn’t have the shoes to go with them? Wasn’t it, ultimately, wiser to spend more money on a whole outfit that I could — in the words o f my mother, a

chronic shopper — “get a lot o f mileage out of,” than to spend less on a few unmatched items that would just hang in my closet, unwearable? I went to the mall. Twice. I spent real money at Ann Taylor, that bastion o f good-sense attire. I even bought a five-dollar bot tle o f nail polish — Revlon’s “Vixen.” I was fully aware, just for the record, that red-black had gone the way o f feather ear rings, and robin’s-egg blue had become all the rage; the point was, it was nail polish. I retired my cherished but decidedly juvenile Osh Kosh overalls; I threw my beloved but battered Doc Martens in the trash and replaced them with butter-soft leather, wedge-heeled boots.

I stepped into my grown-up costume enthusiastically. Every day for a few months, I wore button-down shirts instead o f T-shirts, pants instead o f jeans, real shoes instead o f clogs. I even wore skirts. And, sure enough, certain grown-up responsibilities began to insinu ate themselves into my life. My clothing needed to be ironed and dry-cleaned; it needed attention. Where I once just peeled off the layers at night and let them land wherever the arc o f my toss directed them, I took extra care o f my new pur chases. This diligence, in turn, introduced me to another previ ously unexplored concept: vari ety. I used to grab whatever was most accessible — in other words, whatever lay at the top o f the pile. But now everything was pretty much equally acces sible, because it was all folded crisply in my bureau or hanging neatly in my closet. Suddenly, I had options, and I found myself actually put clothing to g e th e r , instead o f just on.

Continued on page 46

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Dressed Up

Continued from page 45 I applied lipstick before leaving the house, and even reapplied throughout the day. I gelled those stubborn cowlicks into submission. I accessorized. I gave myself weekly mani cures; I moisturized like never before. Yes, there I was, putting my best Kenneth Cole-shod foot forward each and every day. Playing dress-up was great fun for awhile: A cab driver asked me what I did for a liv ing instead o f asking me where I went to school; hoity-toity salespeople stopped looking through me and started to fawn. The problem was, p la y in g dress-up was all the whole enterprise amounted to. No matter what I was wearing, I still preferred reading movie reviews to circling classifieds. Sitting home at my com puter in the middle o f the day wearing a blouse and scratchy wool pants began to feel ridicu lous, not to mention uncom fortable. Walking dogs — something I did for extra cash — in fancy leather shoes on the off chance that I’d run into some high-powered magazine editor looking for an assistant began to seem downright fool ish. Bond, the beefy Rottweiller I walked on Wednesdays, looked at me funny; he seemed certain something wasn’t quite right. No getting around it: I was a slacker in a power execu tive’s casual Friday clothing. Once the novelty wore off, the extra work grew tiresome. I couldn’t integrate all the embellishments into my daily routine; blow-drying my hair with a diffuser attachment every morning never became as natural as brushing my teeth. The facade began to crumble,

and b y th e N e w Year, th e “n ew m e” h ad disappeared. M y “rev elation” h ad proved to be n o

Conscience

Continued from page 23

m ore than la te-n ig h t h ig h w a y delirium . S o o n thereafter, I had another th o u g h t: Sartorially, tim e w as o n m y sid e. W h y rush the process? B efore lo n g th e crow’s-feet w ill start sp eak in g more lo u d ly th an th e overalls ever c o u ld . I w o n ’t n eed a salon “do” to assert m y a d u lth ood ;

carry this w eight on your back? W ould these poor, m isused w ork ers really be better o ff i f y o u d id n 't b u y this shirt? W ith so m any com panies com plicit, w h om can

— one covered w ith fa u x leopard fur, the other bearing a good-

O n e major concern is Urban

luck troll painted on black velvet.

across the street. “Forty percent o f w hat w e sell here for adults is Urban O utfitters, and they carry

stores like Sears and Penney’s

“You w ouldn’t find these at W alM art,” M cH enry observes. “T hey probably w ouldn’t pass the cen

m oved to the suburbs. Local stores like N ate’s and Sidney’s

sors.” H ow d y Wear also offers more

closed their doors. Today, Church Streets retail stores

standard item s. B ehind the goofy toys and dizzy dresses, neatly

perm itting process, between 1 977 and 1996, Burlington’s share o f retail sales in C hittenden C ou n ty fell from 66 percent to 34 percent. N ational departm ent

you trust? D o es Sharon Stone know w hat you know? N o w ay o f

the same toys,” Ferro m oans. A second concern is O ld Navy, also planning a Burlington outlet. Because o f their national buying power, Ferro and H adw en pre dict, both chains can under-cut

include 16 national outlets and

folded on a lower shelf, is your

know ing. But then again, just

39 locally ow ned businesses.

little black T-shirt. It looks near

think o f it! Sharon effing Stone!

T h e ideal m ix, says D iana Carm inati, Director o f

ly identical to the shirts sold at W al-M art and T h e Gap, w ith

H ow dy’s prices by half. T h e little store’s best defense against the chains is the line o f clothing they design and m anu

W earing this very sh irt! Ax. the A cadem y effin g A w ards! All doubts

Burlington’s C om m u n ity and

one major difference. A t $18,

vanish as you and your inner self

E conom ic D evelop m en t O ffice,

this shirt is nearly tw ice the

facture them selves. Ironically,

are deeply reunited. You march

is a balance. W h ile the nationals

price. W hat makes it so expen

up to the register, plunk dow n

provide broader drawing power than locally ow ned stores, the locals are more likely to stay put, and to hire, sub-contract and

sive? For one thing, Church Street rents are higher: between $ 1 6 and $25 per square feet, compared to betw een $ 11 and

because it’s produced locally, H ow d y Wear apparel is priced

purchase goods locally, giving the

$ 16 in the suburbs, according to

fact, com es from tourists. Why?

dollars they generate here more

T h e Verm ont Forum on Sprawl.

“T h ey appreciate our unique

bounce in the local econom y. H ow d y Wear has been in

For another, explain owners

ness,” Ferro speculates. A nd

Burlington 10 years. B oth the

Brooke H adw en and B onnie Ferro, national chains buy in

they’re typically w illin g to spend more on fashion than

owners and their em ployees live

such volum e that they pay less

in tow n, and m ost are able to walk, or ride bikes, to work. T he

w holesale, making tw ice the

Vermonters. W hich leaves you standing

profit. “T h ey probably spent a

there w ith your $18 T-shirt. D o

place is hip, h om ey and irrever

quarter for that shirt,” H adw en

you balk at the price and buy a

Sustainable econom ics and local

ent, featuring a line o f gaudy,

guesses.

rubber bug instead, so at least

boosterism are the tenets o f your

zany garments — m ostly for chil

personal religion. In search o f a

dren, but also in adult sizes. In

your 10 bucks, and make a m en tal note to send your senator an e-m ail about sweat shops. U nless you decide to wash your hair instead.

ut say you m oved to V erm ont because you

deplore everything related to malls and national franchises. You live in dow ntow n Burlington because you don’t ow n a car.

, .U T IN h lJ n l A

O utfitters, soon com in g in

T-shirt, you amble over to

addition to clothes, H ow dy

H ow dy Wear. It pains you to discover that

stocks all those essential T V -dinner magnets, rubber duckies, and

H ow d y Wear is now one o f a

plastic w ind-up nuns that can be so hard to find elsewhere. That

handful o f locally ow ned, inde pendent cloth in g retailers still

means a lot to Frank M cHenry,

too high for m uch o f the local market. M ost o f the store’s bread-and-butter business, in

A third factor: T h e shirt sold

you w on’t have to leave em pty-

at H ow dy Wear sports a “Made

handed? Or do you perform a

in the U .S .A .” label. T-shirts made by workers w ho are earn

quick mental calculation, factor

ing at least m inim um wage sim

science, the value o f the environ

ply cost more than those pro duced in off-shore sweat shops. Som e custom ers are w illing

ing in the w eight o f your con m ent and the square root o f a sustainable community? It’s just a little black T-shirt.

the gray hairs, n o m atter w h a t

I d oing business on Church Street.

w ho lives and does business in

to pay the higher price, but

But it’s also som ething to think

the cu t, w ill d o a m u ch m ore

| A ccording to a 1997 report filed

Burlington and has com e to

m any are not, and Ferro and

about, next tim e you go sh op

con vin cin g job.

| in connection w ith the Filene’s

H ow dy Wear to buy two cards

H adw en fear for their future.

ping. ®

A year later, I m o v ed to

m m m m m m m m m sm m m

V erm ont, an en ch a n ted land

where execu tives sh o w up at work w earin g their ski pants, and Sorels are cooler than S te v e 1 M addens. I love it here. j

>ure Vermont

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By Erik Esckilsen hether he likes it or not, underwear will be part o f Bill Clinton’s presidential legacy. He is, after all, the first sitting President to have publicly revealed his pref erence in underfashions while campaigning for the nation’s highest elected office. “Briefs,” he said back in 1992. The Mtv reporter who asked the question should be awarded a special Pulitzer for prescience. For in the twilight of Clinton’s second term, underwear has reemerged in connection with his administration — this time not in a cheeky interview, but dur ing his impeachment proceed ings. “Thong,” she said. Underwear has become a political statement. In the “middle o f the road”

butts look wide while obscuring the attractive part o f their hips. Being a specialty store, Ivy Brooks carries the higher-end boxer-brief lines — forerunners Calvin Klein ($18) and Joe Boxer ($13.95). The Gap line retails for $12.50, and Banana Republic’s for $14. Large department stores such as Ames also carry the silhouette — at bargains ranging from Fruit of the Loom’s two-for-$7.99 to Spalding’s three-button line at $5. But according to Lampert, Calvin Klein’s fabric and color innovations make that line worth the premium price. Despite the buzz around boxer-briefs, Lampert reports that brief and boxer-brief sales trends are fairly flat these days. The real action is in boxer shorts. And for that boom, he credits Joe Boxer and Calvin

TheBoxer Rebellion is the boxer-brief. The under wear “silhouette” — undergar ment industry jargon for a par ticular style — represents noth ing if not the inalienable right to be more comfortable. As the name suggests, boxer-briefs combine the best features o f boxers and briefs: the boxer’s freedom from crotch-catching leg holes and the brief’s sup port. “Addictive” is how this hybrid is described by Jonathan Lampert and Peter Morris, owner and manager respectively, o f men’s clothier Ivy Brooks in the Burlington Square Mall. According to Lampert, who also owns the Ivy Brooks Down Under store in the University Mall, boxer-briefs are very pop ular among sports-minded cus tomers. This includes a small but loyal clientele of women who wear them as gym apparel — even over a similar “boy-like brief” designed especially for women. Both Ivy Brooks and mall neighbor Victoria’s Secret no longer carry that silhouette. “It wasn’t very flattering,” Lampert says, noting that the “trunk” style he stocked made women’s

page 48

SEVEN DAYS

april 7,1999

Klein with making boxers spe cial. “Joe Boxer made it goofy, Calvin Klein made it exclusive,” he says. Make that “goofy” and “lucrative” in the case o f Joe Boxer. The company history reads like a chapter straight out o f an advertising textbook. Started by Nick Graham with an initial investment o f $1000 in 1985, the company has used humor and outlandish public relations stunts to differentiate its brand from a field thick with competitors. Along the way Graham has built an interna tional company generating a reported $100 million in rev enues. The company’s initial and still-popular “Mr. Licky” design — a smiley face, basical ly, with a tongue showing — is now joined by similarly sugges tive banana motifs, some with the accompanying words “peel me,” a fireplace, “Santa Was Here,” lipsticked lips, Valentines, a glow-in-the-dark Mr. Licky, and the like. As David B. Wolfe reports in a recent article in A m e r ic a n D e m o g r a p h ic s , “Joe Boxer underwear is to be experienced, not simply worn.”

In other words, boxers have become like personal billboards you keep in your pants. As Lampert says, “You [might] have a corporate job, but you’re wearing Mona Lisa under neath.” (That particular silk design, from Ralph Marlin & Co., retails in his stores for $18.95.) “It could actually be an expression o f your personality.” That explains the prepon derance o f boxers out there pat terned with sports and hobby themes, such as the Joe Boxers adorned with basketballs, the Banana Republic boxers covered in coffee cups and frisbee-catching dogs, and the Fun Boxers — an Ames item — with Martians, smiley faces and a “Welcome to the Tiki Lounge” theme. Then there are the boxers with personalities all their own, such as Comedy Central’s South Park brand, featuring the lov ably lacerating animated charac ters; the Warner Brothers lines bearing likenesses o f Bugs Bunny, the Tasmanian Devil and their ilk; and Curious George’s own curious brand. For sheer attitude, though, the World Wrestling Federation brand boxers — another Ames find — rank highest, particular ly the line featuring bad-ass “Stone Cold” Steve Austin pointing his menacing finger next to the words, “Don’t Trust Anybody!” How is something nick named a “tighty-whitey” sup posed to compete with that? As Lampert notes, “It’s very hard to make a brief exciting.” This has n’t stopped Fruit o f the Loom from trying. Their “Gold Series’ three-pack — available at Ames for $7, down from $7.49 — promises “ribbed colors for extra style.” Cotton brand has dubbed its low-rise briefs the “lightning bolt” line. That’s three electrifying pairs o f what most companies refer to as “bikini” briefs for $3.94. The fact that some men still fear skivvies are hazardous to their reproductive capacity probably isn’t helping the briefs case — according to a recent report in T h e L a n c e t, the higher “scrotal temperature” o f briefs is 33.8C, versus 33.6C for boxers. But that’s not entirely fair. As the medical journal and other reports indicate, tight under pants are unlikely to blame for reported declines in world sperm counts. More likely cul prits include environmental tox ins from heavy industry, hor mones fed to livestock, cigarette smoke, poor diets, stress, high alcohol intake, illicit drugs and certain medications. Yes, body heat is a factor in

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[ Jonathan Lam p erti m m Ivy BrooksJ sperm production. But while hot baths and frequent saunas can compromise sperm produc tion, hot showers and briefs are okay, according to Dr. Jerald Bain o f the University of Toronto and Health Institute for Men, quoted in the on-line publication H e a lth W a y . “I don’t know o f any evidence to suggest that it makes a difference,” he said of the boxers-versus-briefs debate, “unless you’re something like a long-distance truck driver, in which case the problem is probably that you’re sitting on your testicles.” When Ivy Brooks customers mention the reproductive impli cations o f underwear they’re usually joking around, Lampert says, but he suspects that some may nonetheless think, “Why take chances if you want to have a baby?”

n the meantime, boxers bloom in patterns appealing not just to wearers but to customers buying them as gifts. As Morris explains, picking up a pair o f boxers graced with Winnie the Pooh, “The women are coming in and buying this. The guys...” — he exchanges Pooh for a pair emblazoned with rocket ships — “see some thing funny in that.” Lampert claims he once sent a pair o f Mr. Licky boxers as a get-well gift to his grandfather in the hospital. “I don’t know if he wore them or not,” he says, “but I got them at cost.” The presidential precedent notwithstanding, neither Lampert, 34, nor Morris, 24 — both boxers wearers — equate personality type with underwear preference, although a G-string customer would suggest “a short, French-Canadian man,” says Lampert. While he specu lates that briefs might be more popular with an older, conserva tive customer unmoved to switch silhouettes — and “a very brand-loyal customer” — he maintains, “I’ve never been able to tell who wore boxers and who wore briefs.” The underwear-personality profile grows murkier with Morris’ recollection, shared by

many men o f his generation, of a “grandfather having these box ers t h a t wide,” he says, holding his hands about a yard apart. Although Lampert estimates that 60 percent o f his “nutty boxer” buyers are roughly col lege age, he and Morris concur that comfort is the motivating force in most boxers purchases. Their assessment was echoed in a recent straw poll o f male stu dents at Champlain College. Other findings in that infor mal survey point to boxers as a symbol o f independence from Mom’s purse strings; most o f the respondents claimed to have switched from briefs to boxers in their mid-teens, when they started buying their own under wear. Ask mothers, however, and they’ll tell you that the box ers rebellion forges ahead by its own trendy power; anecdotal evidence suggests that briefs are on their last legs among boys in the one-digit age range. Conformity — social, not anatomical — may also have something to do with boxers’ current popularity among the collegiate types patronizing Ivy Brooks. Morris recognizes the influence o f brand recognition over his company’s bottom lines. “You can see it,” he says. “It’s a way to express them selves. It’s to show off the Joe Boxer brand or the Calvin Klein brand.” According to Jerrica Gingras, a Champlain College student and co-organizer o f the recent Mtv-inspired “Singled Out” event on campus — a kind o f “Dating Game” for the Mountain Dew crowd — when a woman contestant asked that a stage populated by roughly 40 dudes be cleared o f all those wearing briefs, not a single guy budged. While Gingras is a tad skep tical that they were all boxerwearers, suspecting a fear o f being “singled out” at work, Lampert’s assessment o f Burlington^ underwear charac ter gives them the benefit o f the doubt. “Burlington is definitely a boxer town,” he asserts, “across all age ranges.” ®

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: Taking a Bath

I h a v e f e l t th e u n ra v e lin g o f in tim a c y, th e a lte r e d m e a n in g o f c o m m o n gestures. M y a d vice, to ta k e n o th in g f o r g ra n ted . E ven tu ally, K r is ti Y am agu ch i f a lls tw ice, sc ra b b lin g h o rrib ly on th e ice to recover. L ik e a d ea th , w e ex p e ct to g rie v e a n d g o on.

S o m eo n e lets th e m o r n in g s ta r o u t on its string, a lo n e in th e w h isp e rin g u niverse, a n d w h en su n rises, d r a w s i t b a ck a g a in in to its bag. H e d g in g m y bets, I f l i r t w ith strangers.

| j j | i I

Saturday night and the house full o f holiness The metal jacket o f the oil stove sings, swelling and shrinking, and the wind at the shuddering windows is a wild dog whose breath whitens the rug rolled at the door. Behind the stove

: a boy shucks off his shirt, dipping a cloth i in a basin to wash the cornsilk hairs i o f his body. In the calm field o f lamp ! light the backs o f his father and mother, j his brothers, make a circle l round the slope-shouldered radio. | | Words about the war, words i out o f the foreign world, invade the room, j marching to the hushed beat o f his father’s | shoe brush and suddenly large and personal j as the odor o f fresh shoe polish — honeysuckle j perfume, he thinks, or sweat o f draft horses. I

By Anna Blackmer

T o n ig h t th e o w ls g o d u m b ,

w o n t f a l l u p o n th e lis te n in g air.

w o n t h u n t,

was taken to task once, by a poet notorious for his vicious but insightful critiques, for not under standing the difference between fancy and imagination. He was using Coleridge to make a point about a lack o f seriousness in my poems: Fancy was the gratuitous spinning o f images onto the page or canvas, with out the depth o f emotion and thought that true imagination produced. " Being young then, and not yet having heard the term post-modern, I argued with myself about this distinc tion for years. Now I think o f this conflict as one o f the obvious chal lenges, or paradoxes, for anyone work ing with images in the late 20th cen tury. It seems we must be both ironic and authentic these days, as both stances dissolve. Reading Daniel Lusk’s K is s in g th e G ro u n d : N e w a n d S e le c te d P o em s

brought me straight back into this paradox, and a number o f others. Lusk — associate dean at the University o f Vermont Division o f Continuing Education and director o f its Summer Writing Program — seems to move between a Romantic sensibility that idealizes the imagina tion, and the world it shapes, and a knowledge o f the delusion inherent in that. He sometimes uses fancy to dethrone the imagination. The poems often slip from one way o f seeing to another, from the mythic to the mun dane, until we can’t tell which is which. Here’s just one example, from one o f my favorites in the book, “Eve o f All Mothers:”

M o th e r s sick w ith w orry, regret sw e llin g th e ir breasts, w a n d e r o n to th e starless m oors, b u m p in g in to trees a n d stones.

C o w s co m e th en , b ig a s cars in th e ir b e n e fic e n t-c lo u d disguises. T h ey blo ck th e m o o n lig h t, c a ll o u t in lo s t-c h ild voices,

ste a lin g th e d e a r m ilk .

These poems are often about love and yearning, and they manage to tread that trampled ground with some irony and grace. And they often do so without the weariness and cynicism that can make reading “serious” 20thcentury poetry so exhausting. In “False Swearing,” which Lusk has called the most confessional o f his poems, he begins by admitting his own untrustworthiness and failures at marriage. He goes on to recall a kind o f heartbroken, voyeuristic epiphany, then masterfully turns the poem in a surprising direction: l a m te llin g y o u t h i n g t h a t a re n o n e o f y o u r business. I k n o w y o u b e liev e a th u n d e rsto rm m ig h t occu r because a w o m a n so m e w h ere is w a s h in g

I love the quickness and fluidity of this poem, the slippage between free dom and limitation, the temptation and ultimate refusal to instruct. Robert Hass wrote that making poetry is “the pure case o f the human attempt to find in consciousness free dom from consciousness.” And in many of the poems in this collection, Lusk walks that difficult line with freshness and a clear sense of the con tradictions inherent there. K issin g th e G r o u n d is long — almost a hundred pages of poetry. Sometimes the selection seems uneven; there are poems I would have left out. There are too many herons and swans and cows. But its bulk and breadth demand that the reader live in it for awhile. And it is important to note that this book was released by Onion River Press of Winooski. That publishers Mike DeSanto and Renee Reiner, also co-owners ofT he Book Rack, continue their commitment to independent publishing and book selling is astonishing in this era o f cor porate domination, but that they have chosen to publish hefty books of sophisticated poetry like Lusk’s is almost unbelievable. Designed by Winooski graphic designer Anne Linton, with a ravishing cover from an oil painting by Waitsfield artist Sally Sweetland, K issin g th e G r o u n d is a fine and rare example o f local collabora tion. ®

h e r hair. D a n i e l L u sk w i l l r e a d f r o m H e a r in g m y c o m p la in t, A r th u r M a k a r is takes m y p u lse, f i r s t th e r ig h t w r is t a n d th en th e left, a n d w r ite s “th in . ”

the Ground

Kissing

A p r i l 1 4 a t Ilsley L ib r a r y

in M id d le b u r y ; A p r i l 2 2 a t T h e B o o k R a c k in W in o o sk i; a n d M a y 6 a t B e a r P o n d B ooks in M o n tp elier.

K issing the Ground: New and Selected Poems, by Daniel Lusk. Onion River Press, 98 pp. $12.95.

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j j | j | |

Mother’s ironing board creaks woodenly; when her sure stroke sears the white sleeve o f a Sunday shirt, sun rises, or the smell o f winter morning. Today he tried for an hour the sweet cascade o f a meadowlark’s whistle.

i j j | | : i I |

He thinks defeat must sound like labored breathing o f the baby sleeping in the dark hall room. And if the staccato voice o f the radio echoes the sad world crying, inside he too is sad in his weekly preparations, If it says victory, why does he hear the thud o f soldiers falling somewhere in the house?

| j j I j ! | | i i i I l

Report will come o f dancing in the streets, and he will wonder, dropping in underdrawers to soap himself, that sometimes sin is not really sin. He has not yet heard how Mad King George watched gleeful as his royal orchestra barge hit ice and sank, the royal oboe players and the cellists rising all in unison to laughter and applause, the last sounds they hear before the bones in the ear freeze over.

j i j i j ! 1

Under the table his little brother plays among chair legs, making engine noises so animal the brown dog lifts her head from the box in the corner. He may turn so the hot skin o f his thigh faces the drafty wall, the cold buttock laid inches from stove enamel.

| ! ; j | | i

Cries from the hall say baby has lost the nipple from the sucking purse o f his lips, or wet himself, suddenly cold. One day a woman will shift the child from her breast so he may bend to its place, tasting a sweetness he has lost and looks for everywhere. — D a n i e l L u sk

i I

From Kissing the Ground

Important Message From... By M argy Levine Y oung and Jordan Y oung

infected Word document attached. As you can imagine, as soon as those 50 people open the Word document, romise us you didn’t which appears to be from you, open the document. the same thing happens again, Were talking about the document with the Melissa ad infinitum. Starting on Friday, March 26, the Internet virus. An e-mail virus o f the quickly got clogged up with kind we told you not to worry millions o f messages, and peo about just a few weeks ago. ple found copies o f their someOkay, we’re not going to eat times-confidential word pro crow big-time here — but cessing files e-mailed all over. maybe a little taste. What was most insidious For the news-deprived among you, this was one o f the about this virus was that it almost always appeared to times that the Internet actually come from someone the recipi made headline news in the ent knows. media. Here’s the four-sen The Computer Incident tence version: Someone created Response Team Web site is a a Microsoft Word document good place for information that, when opened, automati cally sends copies o f itself, with about e-mail viruses and, as you would expect, they have the subject line “Important Message From ...,” from you to an excellent write-up on Melissa at http://www.cert.the first 50 e-mail addresses it org/advisories/CA-99-04finds. The text o f the message Melissa-Macro-Virus.html. says “Here is that document Last week, several variants o f you asked for,” with a virus-

the Melissa virus appeared, including two named Papa A and Papa B, which arrive in Excel spreadsheet files. Who thinks up these names, any way? If you receive the Melissa virus by e-mail, here’s the key thing to know: D O N ’T OPEN THE W ORD D O C U MENT. Attached files appear as a little paper clip or other icons in many e-mail pro grams; clicking or double clicking the icon opens the attached file. Reading the message does n’t infect your machine. Opening the attached Word document, and inadvertently running the virus macro it contains, is what infects your computer. At the end o f our column about e-mail viruses last month, we said things like “opening attached documents is something you do at your own risk.” Well, we also said

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high-techno-annoyers won’t stuff like, “as far we know, all o f the security holes in fancy e- bother with them. mail have been caught before 2. Better yet, buy, install, use they ever actually affected any and update a good virus pro one.” N o A. At least not any gram. Otlr two favorites are more. Norton AntiVirus from If you receive a document Symantec (on the Web at — or any attachment — from http://www.symantec.com/us.someone you don’t know, or a index.html), and McAfee document you weren’t expect VirusScan (at http://www.ing from someone you do mcafee.com). Both cost less know, just d e le te it. If it’s from than $50, and both are updat someone you know, write back ed frequently. There’s nothing to them and ask if they meant to send you a document and, if more satisfying than down loading your e-mail and get so, to send it again. ting a big red screen that says We feel a little like the your software just detected a folks who do sex-education virus for you. Take that, you counseling: Safe sex isn’t that hacker! hard to do, but when you start talking to people, it’s surprising This presents an opportuni how many people just d o n ’t. ty to let you know about one Safe computing is the same o f the cooler Web services out way. there: a Web site that will tell Forget the theory for a you when other Web sites moment: Protect yourself from change. We use this service to this kind o f e-mail threat now.

Safe sex isn’t that hard to do, ut when you start talking to people, it’s surprising how, many people just

tfio dSafe

computing is the same way. It’s even easier than safe sex: You don’t have to buy any products to do it; just use the products you already have, safely. Here’s what to do: 1. If you use Microsoft Word, tell it not to run programs automatically when it opens a document. That way, if some one sends you an infected doc ument, and you decide to open it, nothing bad will happen. O f course the command is dif ferent in different versions o f Word. In Word 95 or Word 97 (a.k.a. Word 7 or 8), use the Tools I Options command to display a dialog box with 10 manila-folder style tabs at the top. On the General tab, there’s an option for Macro Virus Protection. Practice safe computing and make sure this option has a check mark in it. If you’re a glutton for pun ishment and use Word 2000, try Tools I Macro I Security and choose Medium. Older versions o f Word, like Word 6, as well as all versions o f com petitors WordPerfect and Lotus WordPro, don’t contain the tools used by the Melissa virus, so they’re safe from this one. Other viruses could be written specifically for older versions o f Word or other word proces sors, but we suspect that the

tell us when we need to get updated lists o f viruses for our virus checkers. The first on line notice we got about Melissa was the notification that there were new virus lists available. The site is called Mind-It from Netmind, at http://www.netmind.com. At the site, following their instructions, you actually go to the Web page you want to monitor, and press a button in your Web browser. Once you’ve told them your name and e-mail address, they’ll send you an email every time the page changes. You can have it check daily, weekly or every two weeks. Norton AntiVirus users should monitor the page http://www. Symantec, com/avcenter/cgi_bin/navsarc.cgi, and McAfee users should monitor the page http://www.avertlabs.com/public/datafiles/HRL YDATS.ZIP. W hen new virus es appear for which you need to download new virus-checker files, Mind-It will send you an e-mail with a link you can click on to get updated files. Very convenient. ® I f y o u g o t th e M e lis s a v iru s, le t us k n o w a t M J 7 D a y s @ g u r u s .c o m .

aprfk7,. 19^9.

SEVEN DAYS.:

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deadline: monday, 5 pm • phone 802.864.5684 • fax 802.865.1015 LIN E ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25 words: 300 a word. Longer running ads are discounted. Ads must be prepaid. DISPLAY ADS: $13 per col. inch. Group buys for employment display ads are available with the Addison Independent, the St. Albans Messenger, the Milton Independent and the Essex Reporter. Call for more details. VISA and MASTERCARD accepted. And cash, of course.

EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT 99.9 TH E BUZZ S E E K S

ADM IN ISTRATIVE ASSISTANT:

dependable, enthusiastic team-players for weekend onair shifts and promotional appearances. Must be familiar with Buzz music and have 1-2 years on-air experience. Send tape & resume to: Box 999, Burlington, VT 05402, atten tion Program Director. No calls, please. Burlington Broadcasters is an equal opportunity employer.

Immediate opening. Architectural firm seeks person to handle full range of admin istrative support activities including reception, typing, bookkeeping, project and mar keting support and general office duties. Minimum 3-yrs. experience. Windows '95 profi ciency, including WordPerfect, Quatro Pro and Quickbooks software. Strong organizational skills needed. Benefits. Send resume and references to: Northern Architects, 207 King Street, Suite 3, Burlington, VT 05401-4502.

B IK E M ECH AN ICS/SALES PEOPLE WANTED: f u ll- &

part-time positions available. Stop in North Star Cyclery, 100 Main St., Burlington. Or fax letter to 864-5310. No calls, please. BOX O FFIC E MANAGE— VSO:

Vermont Symphony Orchestra seeks full-time Box Office Manager, available May 1. Must have good customer ser vice experience and excellent organizational skills. Salaried with benefits, some traveling required. Handles ticket sales for year-round statewide con cert season. Send resume and cover letter: VSO, 2 Church St., Burlington, VT 05401.

Immediate part-tim e opportunities available

SERVICE Staff — Lunch & dinner servers, hostess/ hosts, restau rant exper. helpful. FT & PT jobs, flexible schedule and some wkend hrs.

BARTENDER — A t least 1 yr bartending exper. Flexible schedule & some wkend hours. FT w/benefits.

KITCHEN O penings — FT & PT jobs, includes nights and wkend hours

n a tu ra l fo o d s m arket

Healthy Living is looking for a full time vitamin assis tant. Excellent com munication and organization skills a must. Experience in customer service and supplement sales pre ferred. Please apply in person at: 4 Market St. South Burlington VT 05403.

Car T, FWD VS. RWD: SNOW DIFFER ENCE jD e a r

T om a n d R a y :

W h a t a r e th e p r o s a n d con s o f \ f r o n t - w h e e l d r i v e vs. r e a r -w h e e l

jd r i v e ? W h y

is V olvo so p r o u d

t h a t its e n tir e f l e e t is n o w f r o n t w h e e l d r iv e , w h ile a t th e s a m e t im e M e rc e d e s bra g s t h a t its cars

!a r e

r e a r -w h e e l d r iv e ? -— P e te r

7DM: Good question, Peter. | The reason, Volvo is so proud | o f its ffont-wheel-drive tech| nology is that it has single-

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summer, by g or fixing your

CLEANIN G SER VICE NOW HIRIN G CLEAN ER S: part-time

S Air Conditioning

OW!

FARM HOUSE C H EE S E M AKER: Organization with

Healthy Living Natural Foods

A p p ly to: Best W estern W indjam m er Inn & Conference Center, 1076 W illiston Rd. So. Burlington, VT 05403

to save you

DRIVERS WANTED: Cash daily. Make own schedule. Dependable car a must. Menus On The Move, 863-0469.

Cull: 051-4829 (24 hours)

Sales Manager — 3 years hotel experience. Must be self-m oti vated. S a la ry & bonus. FT w /benefits.

cashier/stock clerk. Work in a pleasant environment w/ a Mon.-Fri. schedule. Great ben efit package starts on your first day. Apply to Champlain College Bookstore, 1st fir. of Joyce Learning Ctr., 371 Maple St., Burlington. No phone calls, please.

bonus. Will train. Great pay. Fun. 2 clubs and private work. Call 244-5457.

Delivering the Burlington Free Press You must be at least 18 years old and have a reliable vehicle

HOSPITALITY GROUP

CHAM PLAIN CO LLEGE BOOK STORE seeking full-time

DANCERS/M ODELS: Sign-on

Earn $250 - $800 per month

WE ARE SEEKING THE FOLLOW ING PROFESSIONAL HOSPITALITY PEOPLE TO JO IN OUR TEAM:

staff needed in Chittenden. Community-based activities with adolescents. Bachelor’s/ vehicle req. Exp. pref. Full- & part-time. Send resume to: TSYF, 1 Mill St., Box B-12, Burlington, VT 05401.

and possibly full-time positions open. Must be dependable and must have own transportation. Call 475-2690.

If you enjoy working independently consider this excellent opportunity

WINDJAMMER

CASE W ORKER: Energetic

handedly allowed Volvo to go in the snow. And Volvo is thrilled about this. After all, it's based in Sweden! This little "snow" issue has been bother ing it for decades. RAY: And Mercedes is proud o f its rear-wheel drive because purists say that rear-wheel drive provides more balanced performance. Putting the dif ferential in the back instead o f the front helps bring the car's overall weight distribution closer to 50-50, which makes for slightly better handling. TOM: Plus, race car drivers prefer rear-wheel drive because when they accelerate, the weight o f the car "shifts" back

environmental mission seeks full-time individuals until year’s end. Make, cut, wax, wrap & ship. Apply to Ross Gagnon, Shelburne Farms, Shelburne, VT 05482.

D ELIV ER Y D RIVERS WANTED

Beat the heat, come in and see us now!

Full- & Part-time Earn $ 7 -$io/hr. Need own vehicle & insurance Flexible hours

Shelburne, VT

Apply in person to 4 -Star Delivery, 203 N. W inooski Ave., Burlington

865-3663

over the driven wheels, which is important when you're pushing the car to the limits of its grip. RAY: But for the rest of us, there's not that much differ ence these days. In terms of performance, rear-wheel drive is probably a little better, because there's absolutely no torque steer. But most people would be hard pressed to tell the difference. TOM: The real disadvantage o f rear-wheel drive is that, unless the car is very heavy, its traction is lousy in the snow, and not so great in the rain, either. And that's why, as cars have gotten lighter over the years to save more fuel, more and more of them have turned to front-wheel drive. RAY: Even with traction

1-800-639-5088

802-985-1030

m a r t i n n / o iv o

enhancements such as limited slip differential and electronic traction control, rear-wheel drive just isn't as good in the snow. It's just impossible to match the traction you get with hundreds o f pounds o f engine and transmission sit ting right over the front, dri ven wheels. TOM: One disadvantage of front-wheel drive— torque steer and weight distribution aside— is that everything is crammed into the front o f the car. So it's often more diffi cult, and therefore more expensive, to do major work on. Although, to be fair, rearwheel-drive cars like Mercedes, Jaguar and BMW are no bar gains to fix, either. RAY: But I'd say the biggest difference— from the point of

view o f the average con sumer— is snow traction. And how often you have to drive in the snow is probably the only thing that should make you lean toward one or the other. O r d e r T om a n d R a y s b est se llin g p a m p h le t, “Ten W ays You M a y B e R u in n in g Y our C a r W it h o u t E v e n K n o w i n g I t ! ” Y ou ’re p r o b a b ly d o in g a t le a st o n e o f th e m ! S e n d $ 3 a n d a s ta m p e d ( 5 5 cen ts), selfa d d re ssed , N o . 1 0 e n v e lo p e to R u in , P .O . B o x 6 4 2 0 , R iv e r to n , N J 0 8 0 7 7 -6 4 2 0 .

G o t a q u e s tio n a b o u t cars? W r ite to C lic k a n d C la c k in care o f th is n ew sp a p er, o r e m a il th e m b y v i s iti n g th e C a r T alk se ctio n o f c a r s .c o m on th e W o rld W id e W eb.

r lease noterrefu'nd^ account towardTuture classifieds placement only, we proofread carefully, but even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to republication, in any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the tost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal.

page

SEVfNiDAYS*.^ aprUJ*

Classifieds • 864.5684 A N N O U N CE

RESEARCH

AUTOMOTIVE

OPP.

MENTS

VOLUNTEERS

’95 VW JETTA, green w/ sun

P E R FE C T PART-TIME HOME B U S IN ES S ! 2 hours a day

LOOKING FOR GO-GO DANCERS, fire eaters, body

UVM R ES E A R CH STUDY:

earns you financial freedom. 1998 People's Choice Award Winner. Free 24-hr. message. 1-888-574-6615.

builders, sword swallowers and other performers of that nature for summer extravaganza. Call Red Square, 859-8909.

EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT BUSINESS FO LLETT CO LLEG E STORES,

OUTDOOR SU M M E R WORK:

operators of over 585 college bookstores have the following opportunities at out Trinity College Bookstore: Asst. Store Manager. You’ll be responsible for customer service, opening/closing the store, cash handling & other store duties in our small store. Supervisory exp. in a retail environment a plus. Ability to balance multi ple tasks necessary. Full bene fits available first day of work. Sales Associate (part-time). We are looking for an experienced customer service-oriented sales associate for our small store. Cash handling exp. a plus. P/T hours, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Please apply in person to Trinity College Bookstore, McAuley Hall, 208 Colchester St., Burlington. Visit us on the web at www.fcs.follett.com. EOE.

Socially responsible, serviceoriented, top-end residential painting company seeks bright, team-oriented men & women for summer employment. Painters w/ some exterior expe rience welcome; training also available for entry-level posi tions. Call Paul, Lafayette Painting, 863-5397.

IN TER N ET C O M M ER C E TEAM

seeks active, outdoors, cre ative, quirky individual with HTML, Windows, Macintosh, networking, and retail experi ence to assist in rapidly grow ing internet and catalog busi ness. F/T, salary w/ benefits. Replies to Kent, Outdoor Gear Exchange, 191 Bank St., Burlington, VT 05401. employment@gearx.com. O FFICE ASSISTANT: For

receiving of jewelry & clothing, computer data entry, deposits, phone reception & staff sup port. Eager team player, great attitude w/ excellent verbal & writing skills. Call Marilyn’s, 558-4050, or stop by in per son, 115 College St., Burlington. OUTDOOR JO BS! VYCC is hir

ing Crew Members ages 16-24 to build trails, restore streams, and manage parks. Positions available now! Info, session & interviews Tues. April 13, Essex High School, 6 p.m. Call now! 1-800-639-VYCC.

R ETAIL FLOW ER & BEDD IN G

Plant salespeople wanted: Starts May 1st. Full- & parttime positions. Flower & gar den enthusiasts encouraged to apply. Call Oakwood Farms, Essex Ctr., 434-5101. Leave message.

W E’R E LOOKING FOR AN

ambitious entrepreneur or cou ple to get started in a homebased business representing the leading manufacturer of high-tech air and water puri fiers. Will train you every step. Full- or part-time. Call CR ISP AIR, 244-8344, or fax 244-8567.

VOLUNTEERS PU B LIC ACCESS TV SHOW

with paranormal theme seeks volunteers for production staff. Experience helpful, but enthu siasm and reliability a must. Call 862-7609.

driving to work. Willing to meet half-way, preferrably on Rte. 7. Hours are 8 to 5, M-F. (3057) RICHMOND to ESSEX JUNC TION: I am looking for a ride to

work M-F, generally 9 to 5, but can be very flexible. (3059)

T ELE-PR O FES S IO N A LS : RVS,

$800 W EEKLY POTENTIAL Processing Government Refunds At Home! No Experience Necessary. 1-800696-4779 Ext. 1394.

LINCOLN/BRISTOL to SO. BURLINGTON: I’m looking to

share driving 4 days/wk. My hours are 8:30 to 5 p.m. (3126) JOHNSON to BURLINGTON: I

am a student looking for a ride to school M-F, 8 to 4. I really need a ride TO school, I could arrange for a ride home if neces sary. (3102) SO. BURLINGTON to IBM: I am

looking for a ride to work, I am on the 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. shift with rotating days. (3090) MILTON to COLCHESTER: I am

looking for a ride to work. I could meet at the Chimney Corners Park & Ride. My hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Tues.Sat. with some flexibility. (3095) ESSEX JCT 7BURL. to ST. ALBANS: I am looking for a ride

to work. My hours are 6 a.m. to 5 p.m., M-F with flexible evening hours. (3088)

BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER:

I am looking for a ride to the National Life Building. My hours are 8 to 5, M-F. (3072)

BURLINGTON to WINOOSKI: I

am looking for a ride one way to work, M-F. I have to be in by 7 a.m. (3070) SO. BURLINGTON to TAFTS CORNERS: I am looking for a

ride to work, M-F, for a few months. My hours are 9 to 5. (3068) STOWE to ESSEX JCT.: I work in the Outlet Fair area and am looking for a ride. My schedule is very flexible and includes weekends. (3077) BURLINGTON to BRISTOL: I am looking for a ride to work. My hours are 7 to 4, M-F. (3067) SO. BURLINGTON to MONTPE LIER: I am looking to share dri

ving with someone. I work M, Tu, W, F, 8:30 to 4:30. I would be willing to meet at the Richmond P&R. (3050) BURLINGTON to MONKTON: I

am looking for a ride to work for a few weeks. My hours are 7:30 to 4:00, M-F with some flexibili ty. (3063)

r ^ - T h e - — =—

Straight

D ea r Cecil, W h a t’s th e d e a l w ith g e n e tic a lly en g in eered f o o d ? I re a d th a t v a st q u a n titie s o f fo o d crops a re b e in g g en etica lly engi neered to w ith s ta n d th e effects o f h erb ic id e s b e tte r so th a t fa rm ers can d u m p m o re h erb ic id e s in th e ir fie ld s w ith o u t w o rryin g a b o u t crop loss. Jeez. O th e r crops m a n u fa ctu re th eir o w n p e stic id e s so th ey k i l l bugs h a v in g th e te m e r ity to take a b ite o f th em . D o e sn ’t ex a ctly r in g m y c o m e -to -d in n e r bell, y a k n o w ? So

w h a t a re th e p o te n ti a l effects o f e a tin g g en etica lly

en gin eered fo o d ; w h a t c o u ld th is u ltim a te ly d o to th e f o o d chain, a n d w h y a re so m a n y o f o u r f o o d crops b e in g m o n keyed w ith , w ith b a rely a p e e p f r o m th e press?

—

Lory, v ia A O L

4-dr., 106K mi. $6,000 o.b.o. Need to sell by May 1. Call 660-7132.

MIDDLEBURY/BURL./SO. BURL, to BARRE: I am looking to share

S U M M E R EMPLOYMENT:

Vermont Expos are looking for responsible individuals to work part-time for the 1999 base ball season. Please call 6554200 for more information.

based. Mostly outdoor spring, summer, fall. Travel informa tion kiosks. Also brochure inventury management. Averaging 18 hrs./wk. Some flexibility. Truck, organized, reliable, references. Enjoyable & interesting. People-oriented company. 800-232-2196.

’92 NISSAN SENTRA, black,

Upcoming seizure/surplus sales. Sport, luxury & economy cars. For current listings call 1-800-311-5048 ext. 1738. S EIZ E D CA R S FROM $ 500 .

Sport, luxury & economy cars, trucks, 4x4s, utility and more. For current listings call 1-800311-504 8 ext. 2239.

new tires, nice body, sun roof, needs some work. $ 1 ,000 . Call Don, 860-104 4 or mayak@globalnetisp.net.

6/15-7/1. Retail sales person for greenhouse/garden center. 1st Season Greenhouses, Shelburne. 985-8456.

W ATERFRONT PROPERTY MANAGEM ENT, Burlington

AUTOMOTIVE

BUY CA R S! FROM $ 500 .

*88 VW JETTA GL, maroon,

SEASO N AL (FU LL- OR PARTT IM E ) job starts 4/1-5/15 and

a technology marketing compa ny, is looking for a few talent ed phone pros to work on a variety of projects. If you can meet the challenge, have some computer experience, like a relaxed, fun and exciting atmosphere, call David Brown, 872-8130.

Marijuana users, non-users & former users, 18+, needed for 2 hrs. for research study on memory, thinking and atten tion. $25 compensation. Call 656-9570, M-F, 12:30-1:30 p.m. or M-Th, 3-5 p.m.

roof & 75K miles (mostly high way) in great condition! Brand new exhaust & snow tires. $9,500 o.b.o. Eve, 864-5684 or 496-6659.

Barely a peep? Inkwise I admit genetic engineering hasn’t ranked up there with Leonardo DiCaprio, but an archive search for the past decade turned up over 500 articles in everything from T im e to the W h ole E a rth R eview . True, the subject hasn’t been front-page news, but that’s because little front-page news (e.g., environ mental disasters) has occurred. The concern is over what might. There are two basic arguments against genetic engi neering: the Frankenstein’s monster argument and the “frigging Monsanto” argument. (Monsanto, a big sup plier of engineered seed, has been a lightning rod for criticism, but it’s got company.) The Frankenstein argument — maybe I should call it the Jurassic Park argument — is that genetic engineers are messing with a process they only dimly understand, and by combining pieces of DNA in unnatural ways they’re taking the chance that something will go horribly wrong. This exaggerates the complexity of what genetic engineers do. Gene splicing is ingenious, but the result in most cases is that you cause cells to produce, or fail to produce, a single protein. This is like turning a single bolt in a car. Sure, loosen it too much and an important part of the car might fall off. But generally it’s possible to anticipate, and make allowances for, the things that might go wrong. For example, Monsanto makes a genetically engi neered soybean seed that’s highly resistant to a weed killer Monsanto conveniently also happens to make. You plant the soybeans and douse the Field with the weed killer, which kills everything but the beans. No tillage to eliminate weeds, no soil erosion — happy day! But, say the critics, suppose this weed-killer-resistant bean crosspollinates with the weeds; then you’d have weed-killerresistant superweeds! Sure, say the scientists, but this is

UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON: I

am looking for a ride to work MF, 8:30 to 5. (3055) BARRE to BURLINGTON. I am a student looking for a ride M,W,F, 8 a.m. Flex, return. (3051) HINESBURG to BURLINGTON. I

BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I

am currently earless and looking for a ride to work M-F. My hours are 8:30 to 4:30. (3031) SWANTON to ST. ALBANS. I am a late sleeper looking for a ride to work at noon. I work M-F, noon to 7 p.m. or later. (3033) BURLINGTON to SO. BURLING TON. I am a recent arrival to

town looking for a ride to work M-F, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. (3028)

BURLINGTON to COLCHESTER.

I am a teachers’ aide looking for a ride to Colchester. My hours are 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (3026)

am looking for a ride to the UMall M-F, 9:30 a.m. (3040) GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON.

I’m looking to share driving on a smoke-free commute to work. Hours are M-F, 9 to 6 , some flex. (3038) SO. BURLINGTON to MILTON. I

am working on a house in Milton for a month and seeking a ride to the site M-F at 7 a.m. (3036) MIDDLEBURY to BURLINGTON.

I’m a working student looking for a ride Tues. or Weds, to Burl./ returning Fri. or Sat. eve to Middlebury. (3035) MORRISVILLE to WILLISTON.

V e r m o n t^

Rideshare

I’m looking to share driving on my trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8 to 4:30. (2997)

an obvious problem, easily prevented. (In principle at least. There may be a little problem with canola, but that’s a story for another day.) Similarly, one variety of engineered corn produces its own pesticide. Will the stuff hurt people, too? Obvious problem, obvious solu tion: Test and find out. Answer: no. The point isn’t that nothing can ever go wrong with genetically engineered crops. But due to the nature of the process, the risks are usually modest and controllable in relation to the benefits. Contrast that with the wildly risky agricultural practices of the past, in which entire organisms, not just genes, were transplanted into foreign habitats — e.g., kudzu, which was introduced to the southeastern U.S. from Japan and spread rapidly, cover ing trees and denying them sunlight. Those were the real environmental fiascoes. That brings us to the frigging Monsanto argument. Genetically engineered seed is developed and sold by huge corporations whose first concern is their own prof it. Monsanto’s seed, after all, is designed for use with Monsanto’s herbicide. Plus you’re locked into the whole capital-intensive, high-input agribusiness rat race. Frig ging Monsanto! But the culprit is industrial capitalism, not genetic engineering per se. Still, the big-business aspect of genetic engineering does give one pause. Consider the crop you mentioned that makes its own herbicide. The toxin is thex same one produced by a naturally occurring organism called Bt, which organic farmers use to control bugs. If, due to genetic engineering, the toxin is found in every leaf and branch of a crop, Bt-resistant pests may soon evolve. The big agribusiness companies will move on to some other herbicide, but organic farmers will be screwed. I’m not worried about genetic engineering in itself, but the ends to which it’ll be put. (7) — CECIL ADAMS

•s there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

april 7 , 1 9 9 9 . SEVEN DAYS , page SjL,.

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OFFICE/ BUSySTUDIO SPACE BU RLIN GTO N : Office available

in historic building. Prime downtown location. Parking. Warehouse and shipping avail able on premises. $500/mo. Call 862-0933. M IDDLEBURY: Middlebury

./t S f c

Holistic Health Center has bright offices & classroom/ group room space available. Flexible options, including one-day-a-week rentals for ofices & single-use rentals for the group room. Meditation groups, yoga teachers & others wanted. The group room is suitable for meetings, lectures, classes & more. 388-4800.

APT./HOUSE FOR RENT 1-2-bdrm. apt., hdwd. firs., Hill section, fabulous sunsets and lake/Adirondack views. Avail. 5/1. $670/mo. 864-6814.

RED MEAT Before you make any derogatory remarks about my costume, Karen, I think you should know you're looking at the new “McMoo the Anti-Drug Cow” for your school district.

BU RLIN GTO N : Beautiful 2-

bdrm./l-bdrm. $500/$450/ mo. Coop apartment in Rose Street Artist Coop. Includes heat. Avail. 5/1. Eagerness to participate in arts-focused coop community a must. 862-624 4 for application. BURLIN GTO N : So. End, 2-

bdrm., hdwd. firs., lots of win dows, old home w/ charm. No smokers/dogs, W/D, off-street parking. $750/mo. + utils. + dep. Refs. & lease. Avail now. 862-4921. BURLIN GTO N : 5-bdrm., 2

kitchens, 2 baths, close to downtown, parking, gas heat. Avail. 6/1. $l,525/m o. 658-3114. BURLIN GTO N : 4-bdrm. apt.,

renovated Victorian, close to downtown, parking, gas heat. Avail. 6/1, $1,250. 658-3114.

Max cannon Sorry about that, Karen. For a moment there, I thought you might be on drugs.

Ha! Milkman Dan playing McMoo...? That’s a big laugh!

HOUSEMATES WANTED

BURLIN GTO N :

BU RLIN GTO N : S. End, 2bdrm., 1st fir. w/ basement/workshop, front & back porch, W/D hook-ups. $750/mo. + utils. Also 3bdrm., 2 nd fir., front & back porch, W/D hook-ups. $900/mo. Off-street parking, tilled & organically nurtured garden space ready for planti ng. 658-2909, leave message.

from the secret file s of

p e r d i t i o n ’s p o g o s t ic k

BU RLIN GTO N : Looking for

BURLIN GTO N : Want to put

clean, quiet, responsible, non smoking female to look for & share 2-bdrm. apt. Avail. 6/1. 864-3307.

some good energy into a healthy roommate situation? Live with me: (here’s the scoop) by UVM, only $300/mo. + utils., complete amenities. Call Todd, 660-1911.

BU RLIN GTO N : Prof., openminded male. Smoking OK, no pets. Great view of lake. Quiet. Walk to downtown. $300/mo. + 1/2 utils. + dep. 864-7426. BU RLIN GTO N : So. End.

Seeking prof ./grad to share quiet, 2 -bdrm. house, wood firs., garden, entertaining felines. $400/mo + 1/2 utils. 860-1318. BU RLIN GTO N : Interested in

living cooperatively? Extra bdrm. in 2-bdrm. apt., No. Willard St., between downtown & campus, parking, no pets. $350/mo. + 1/2 utils. Avail. 6/1. 660-8715. BU RLIN GTO N : Easy-going, clean/sober, non-passive/ aggressive, 20-35-yr.-old to live with same in 1 -bdrm. apt. Unique room with kitchen. Beautiful old house, garden. May 1-Aug. 31. 865-0487.

StoRy_Minut&

SO. HERO: Farmhouse to share. 6 bdrms., 4 bath, 6 acres. Looking for holistic, cre ative, spiritual artists, etc. $250/mo./room + utils. ’ 372-4690. STARKSBORO: 2 people seek

ing 3rd roommate in large log cabin. Must love animals. Hiking trails, garden space, 2 rms. avail. $300 or $350 (both)/mo. 453-7356.

CO LCH ESTER VILLAGE:

Seeking prof ./grad female for nice 2-bdrm. condo, quiet location, 15 mins, to Burlington. $400/mo. + 1/2 utils. Avail, now. 878-0960. ESSEX JCT.: Gay female look ing for non-smoking, neat roommate to share fully-fur-nished condo (except bed)— W/D, parking, must like dogs. $400/mo. + dep. & refs, pre ferred. Call 878-0627.

'•6 0 i MG FoR B R o R E " mV WAS A R £lEN Ti& SS MAM.

COMPUTER

A RCH A N G EL PRIN TS:

SERVICES

Personalized design/printing for business cards, brochures, newsletters, posters, CD cov ers, invitations, menus, etc. Just the way you want! Editing services also available. 482-6095. CASH: Have you sold property

and taken back a mortgage? I’ll pay cash for all your remaining payments. (802) 775-2552 x202.

BURLIN GTO N : Seeking

prof./grad student to share 2 bdrm. on quiet street close to downtown. Large bdrm., back porch, yard, parking. $300/mo. + 1/2 utils. Avail 2/1. 864-1693.

SERVICES

HOUSE SITTING 49 YEAR-OLD SIN GLE, PROF. male looking for housesitting situation in greater Burlington, May 1. Responsible and many references upon request. Call Bob, 865-6179.

TELEPH O N E JA C K INSTALLATIO N S/R EPA IR S: Quality work,

very professional & very afford able. Will install jacks for modems, multiple lines & extensions to anywhere in house/apt. Repair jacks also. FREE ESTIM ATES. Call 8634873 for an appointment.

H ELP WITH BUYING, LEA RN ING & using computers: Win,

Mac, Internet, Word, Excel. Custom database design w/ Access. $1 5/hr. 1-on-l. David, 655-3963. dpb@grolen.com.

CLEANING SERVICES “AUSTIN , I’M HOPPING MAD.

These dust bunnies are com pletely out of control." "Relax, Vanessa, ring up that bird who’s listed in the Seven Days." “You mean Diane H., housekeeper to the stars?" "Yes. Dial 658-7458... Now was that so hard?” “Oh, behave...”

YOU DON’T NEED VOODOO TO FIND RIGHT MAN (IT JUST FEEtS tIKE IT SOMETIMES). YOU NEED SEVEN DAYS PERSONALS. IT ’S IN THE BACK OF THIS ISSUE.

HE SToPPEP AT NOTHING To GET WHAT HE WANTEP IN BUSINESS ANP IN LlFE.

BUT ONE PAY HE PlP SoME THING THAT EVEN HE CoULPNT LIVE WITH. O .

BURLIN GTO N : Clean, cozy 2-

bdrm., 1950s style apt. near UVM— W/D, new gas water/heat. No smoking, no pets. $650/mo. + utils. Avail. 6/1. 658-2578. W INO O SKI: 1-bdrm. + loft

(2nd & 3rd fir. of house). Offstreet parking, no smoking. $650/mo., incl. heat. Avail. 5/1. 655-6316.

ROOM FOR RENT BURLIN GTO N : Furnished room w/ private bath, TV/kitchen privileges, laundry. $400/mo., incl. all. Non-smok er. Avail, now. 864-4873.

HOUSEMATES WANTED BU RLIN GTO N : Share 3-bdrm. with 2 young prof, males. Close to downtown, yard, park ing, W/D, small porch. $300/mo., incl. all. Avail, now. 864-3365.

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SU iCiPE WAS NOT AN 0PT10N FoP SUCH A MAN, BU T ToTAL M AKE OVER, INC. WAS.

HE HAP LEAPN EP o F THEIP P E LUXE SERVICE THAT IN CLUPEP A M E M o P y WIPE.

THE CoMPANy WOULP RELOCATE HIM ANP SECURE HlS REMAINING FUNPS To HlS NEW iPEN TlT*

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CLEANING

MUSIC

SERVICES

M A C K IE 32-8 MIXING CON SOLE, excellent cond. $2,500.

MUSIC INSTRUCTION

899-4263.

BANJO: Old-time banjo.

dependable, enthusiastic. Reasonable rates, insured & registered w/ state. 860-5038.

G U ITA R IS T WANTED: Roots with branches, electric, acoustic, spiritual, deep, soul ful with vision & sounds. Call if you’re the one, 372-4690.

DATING

F R E E EM AIL @ B IG HEAVY WORLD. Musicians & friends

Guaranteed after 4 lessons you will be playing Appalachian tunes. Learn to read tablature, music notation. Emphasis on rhythm & musicality. $ 20/hr. Mara McReynolds, 862-3581.

CHERYL’S CO M M ER C IA L/R E S IDENTIAL CLEA N IN G . Honest,

COM PATIBLES: Singles meet

by being in the same place as other singles. We’ve made this the best time to connect you. Call for details, 863-4308. www.compatibles.com. N.E. S IN G LES CO NN ECTIO N :

Dating and Friendship Network for relationship minded Single Adults. Professional, Intel ligent, Personal. Lifetime membership. Newsletter. For FREE info, 1-800-775-3090.

TUTORING MATH, EN G LISH , W RITIN G,

Science, Humanities, Proof reading, from elementary to graduate level. Test Prep for GRE, LSAT, GMAT, SAT-I, SATII, ACT, GED, TO EFL... Michael Kraemer, 862-4042.

HOMEBREW

of local music are welcome to the new FR EE EMAIL service at www.bigheavyworld.com. YourName@bigheavyworld.com made possible by Chek.com.

ry, reading and groove. All lev els welcome. Keith Hubacher (The Disciples, Nerbak Bros., The Christine Adler Band), rea sonable rates. Call 434-4309.

P E R C U S S IO N IS T SOUGHT for

DRUM : Musicians Institute

traditional music group. Celtic, French-Canadian, Scottish, old-time. Occasional gigs. No pounders, please. 899-9935.

Gradnet Counselor. Exper ienced teacher/musician/ author. Competitive rates. Materials provided. Many sub jects to focus on. References available. Gary Williams, 802472-6819 (mishima® together.net).

16 -TRACK ANALOG RECO R D ING STUDIO. Dogs, Cats &

Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, prof, environment. Services for: singer/ songwrit ers, jingles, bands. Reasonable rates. Call Robin, 658-1042. T H E K E N N EL REH EA R SA L SPACE — for bands and musi

cians— currently offers monthly rentals for individuals or shared rooms w/ 24-hr. access. For more info call 660-2880. 3017 Williston Rd„ So. Burlington. G R E EN MOUNTAIN SAVO YARDS seeking voices, espe

MAKE GREAT B E E R AT HOME

for only 500/bottle. Brew what you want when you want! Start-up kits & prize-winning recipes. Gift certifs. are a great gift. VT Homebrew Supply, Rt. 15, Winooski. 655-2070. IM M EN SE SAVINGS!! Otter Creek Brewing’s Retail Store is closing out their homebrew supply section. Ingredients, bottles, kits, brewing acces sories— all 33% off! Brewery store open 10-6, 7 days/wk. 793 Exchange St., Middlebury. 1-800-473-0727.

BUY THIS STUFF DINING ROOM SET: 12-pc. cherrywood, 9 2 ” double pedestal table, lighted hutch & buffet. 8 Chippendale chairs. Sideboard/server. Never opened, still in box. Cost $9,000, sacrifice for $3,800. Call Keith, 658-4955. QUEEN BED: black, wrought-

iron canopy. Unused, still in plastic. Cost $899, sell for $365. Call 658-3707.

WOLF TANNING BEDS TAN AT HOME BU Y D IR E C T & SAVE! COM M ERCIAL7HOME U NITS FROM $199 LOW MONTHLY PAYM ENTS FREE C O LO R CATALOG

CA LL TODAY 1-800-711-0158

ADULT

cially lyric tenors, to perform Gilbert & Sullivan selections. Call 860-1102. Also needed: pianist to accompany. SETH YACAVONE BLU ES BAND seeks versatile drum

mer. Flexible work schedule req. Must like groove to blues, funk & weirdness. Improv. skills a must. No fame & for tune seekers. Call 888-5958. ADDS UP TO TH E FATTEST SOUND in the Grn. Mtns.: A

highly prof, bassist/producer ready to bring out your best from behind a Panasonic WRDA7 digital console + ProTools/24 MIX (64 fully automated tracks of 24-bit digital audio) + best digital processing avail. (TC/Electronics, Focusrite, Lexicon, Apogee, Drawmer, Waves) + finest studio musicians in New England = MetaMedia™ Studios, 802-496-3520.

Relax. Record. Get the tracks. Make a demo. Make a record. Quality is high. Rates are low. State of the art equip. & deck w/ great views. 872-8583.

Immediate 1-on-l connection!!

nin.

THROBULATE! The Throbulators are now booking summer weddings and parties!!

SEVEN DAYS 864.5684

FOR A GOOD TIME CALL 802 8 2 7 M O A N (6626)

SLEEP AIDS

ad.

today what’s in store for you: Love, Family, Money. Call 1900-370-3399 Ext. 7761. $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv U, 619-645-8334.

S T R E S S E D OUT? CA N ’T S LE EP ? Beat insomnia.

HEALING LOVE YOURSELF, HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise L. Hay. Workshops and study group facilitated by Kathy Valiquette, certified Louise Hay teacher. 5-week study group beginning in May (every other Monday night). For information, call 655-1958.

HERBS PU R PLE SH U TTER H ER BS:

Burlington’s only full-service herb shop. We carry only the finest herbal products; many of them grown & produced in Vt. Featuring over 400 bulk dried herbs & tinctures. 100 Main Street, Burl. 865-H ERB. Store hours: Mon.-Sat., 10-6.

AROMA THERAPY

SARI K. WOLF: 223-4715.

See display ad. TREAT YO U RSELF TO 75 M IN U TES OF RELAXATION.

Deep therapeutic massage. Sessions: $40. Gift certifi cates. Located in downtown Burl. Flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029.

DR. HEATHER DONOVAN:

864-4959. See display ad.

Eyth-Huegel, Reiki Master, 802-893-3611, lovemia® together.net. Heart-centered lightwork: healing Reiki treat ments classes; worldwide peerprofessional support group; inspired stained glass-, expres sive Web site design.

...dating won’t feel like a visit to the dentist anymore with PERSON<TO>PERSON (it’s in the back...check it out)

ROLFING THOMAS W ALKER & GAIL LOVEITT: 864-0444. See dis

play ad.

MENT TRAN SFO RM YOUR L IF E w/

Spiritual Exercise. You know the health benefits of physical exercise. But did you know that spiritual exercises build inner strength & vitality? Experience it for yourself. For a free book, call ECKANKAR, 1-800-L0VE GOD. Ask for book #F14. www.eckankar.org.

THE BODY MIND CONNECTION SPIRIT M ASSAGE

CHIROPRAC TIC

PERSONALS

RADIAN CE STU DIO S: Mia

IMPROVE

See display ad.

fine custom blending for your aromatherapy, beauty and bodycare needs. Carrier oils and supplies available. We stock over 100 therapeuticgrade pure essential oils. Ask about bulk pricing. 174 Battery St., Burl. 862-4421.

SEVEN DAYS

REIKI

BODY M IN D CONNECTON:

LAURA LU C H IN I: 865-1233.

STAR ROOT: We specialize in

3542. See display ad.

SELF-

5529. See display ad.

Simple, natural, drug-free. 90min. cassette & book. Moneyback guarantee. $15 (S&H incl.) to Sleep Easy Unlimited, P.O. Box 277, Burlington, VT 05402-0 277.

B E R N IC E KELM AN : 899-

MASSAGE KERRY MULCAHY: 434-

& H E A t IN G

FO R

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£.

ROSEN M ETHOD DEEP PRESSURE MASSAGE REIKI

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ymca 862-9622

W IN O O SKI, ABOVE SPIRIT DANCER

HFRAPY

KERRY IULCAHY intuitive and jherapeutic

Bernice K e l m a n Psychic C o u n se l in g C h a n n e l in g

fe a in te n a n Jl of your body & mind

108 Church St., Burlington, looking for used DJ/music equipment, record collections and local clothing designers. Merchandise placed on con signment. 802-651-0722. AD ASTRA RECO RDIN G.

PSYCHICS DO WHAT STARS DO! Learn

862-4373. See display ad.

MAX M IX D J/RECO RD SHOP,

24 hrs!! 1-900-787-9526 ext. 9202. $3.99/min. Must be 18 I yrs. Serv-U (619) 645-8434.

1-800-458-6444 1-900-435-4405

Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship & personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Revue, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo, etc.). 862-7696.

cal exp. seeks all types of musical projects. Contact Roger at Question Mark Records, 802-363-1867.

TALK

1on1

GUITAR: All styles & levels.

CO M PO SER/ARRAN GER/PRO D U CER w/ a lifetime of musi

WITH LIVE HOT B E A U T IF U L G IR L S !! No waiting!

N ASTYGIRLS!!! Hot! Live! <7) T

BASS: Learn technique, theo

FITNESS YMCA: 862-9622. See display

BY APPOINTMENT

802-414-5529 Convenient, >lo ca te d in Williston, /erm ont

EXPERIENCE THE NEW ROLFING

12 kelly R o a d U n d e r h il l , V T 0 5 4 8 9 8 0 2 .8 9 9 -3 5 4 2

A n s w e r s To L a s t W e e k ’s P u z z l e

Thomas Walker & Gale Loveitt

Burlington’s only Rolfing practitioners trained in this

r a

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Sari K. Wolf, RN, CORN, TMP, CAP, ICA, Reiki III Release Fatigue and Pain therapeutic massage, myofascial therapies, Acupressure, Aromatherapy, Reiki in Montpelier, by appointment

802-223-4715

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SEVEN DAYS

page 55

Aoril 8 - 14

CSlJ L

^ § B y R ob B r e z s n y J

ARIES

(Mar. 2 1 -Apr. 19): T he insect know n as the mayfly lives only six hours but lays eggs that require three years to hatch. I regard this as a useful metaphor for your life in the com ing week. A n experience that has a brief life span will leave behind a legacy that’ll take its sweet tim e to ripen. There the metaphor breaks dow n, however. W hen your legacy is finally born, it’ll last far, far longer than the event w hich spawned it.

TAURUS

(Apr. 20-M ay 20): T he Real A strology Psychic Sur gery Team is proud to announce the debut o f H oroscope M ake overs, a service in w hich w e trans plant your planets into different signs and design an entirely new blueprint for you. Say your Venus is suffering from an inhospitable aspect w ith your Mars: W e’ll cut and paste it into a more sym pa thetic part o f your chart in the same way that som e people have fat cells from their butt injected into their forehead to sm ooth away wrinkles. To be honest, though, Taurus — as m uch as w e’d like to take your m on ey — your predicam ent is not yet seri ous enough to warrant such dras tic measures. Let’s give simpler cures a shot. For starters, try bang ing your head against the wall — softly, please -— to see if that’ll dis lodge a m ental block or two.

GEMINI

(M ay 2 1 -June 20): I’m boggled by the intellectual frauds w ho deride astrology w ith out ever having studied anything more than a tabloid horoscope colum n. To m atch their idiocy, I m ight survey a strip o f conve nience stores and gas stations and then declare that architecture is worthless bunk. H ave the arrogant high-priests o f scientism read the erudite astrologer D an e Rudhyar? D o they know that the sem inal astronomer Johannes Kepler was a skilled astrologer? Are they so insular as to dismiss em inent psy chologist C .G . Jung, w h o cast

Indians 47 Bea's “Golden Girls* co-star 48 Bank accts. 49 Sounds like hoofbeats 50 Like many kitchen floors 51 Colum nist Barrett 52 Sw iss river 53 Bedouins 54 Aegean Island 55 Attica townships 56 Seashore feast 58 The sky's th e — / 59 Most rational 60 Advice colum nist of note 61 Renowned 62 Confront squarely 63 Hotel offerings 66 Actress Blackm an 67 Coarse, scolding woman 71 Sea eagles 72 Bridge expert 73 Uptight 74 Baer or SchmeNng 75 Cincinnati team 76 Ancient Egyptians

ACROSS 1 Army aux. 5 The harlot of Jaricho 10 Chocolate substitute 15 Farm measure 19 Therefore 20 Fragrant oieoresin 21 Capital of Guam 22 — beer 23 Enough, to a poet 24 Edna Ferber novel 25 Filleted the fish 26 Sheltered Inlet 27 In the — On disfavor) 29 “— of Darkness" 31 They might be sour 33 French m agazine 3 4 '— Doone* 35 Mexican laborer 36 Turkish Inn 39 Undershot water wheel 40 Large insect 44 British noblemen 45 G irl's name meaning “white" 46 Abode of the Plains

PPge 5 6

;

SEVEN DAYS

QUARIUS

horoscopes and wrote that “astrology represents the sum m ation o f all the psychological knowledge o f antiquity”? T h e moral o f the story, Gemini: Distrust anyone w ho tells you that what they see is all there is. Be assured that life is far more mysterious than even the smartest and m ost confident people imag-

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): M y very first astrology colum n appeared in a small newspaper in Santa Cruz, California. Today, two decades later, I’m syndicated in 112 publications on five conti nents, reaching an audience o f almost nine m illion readers. T he secret o f m y success? It’s hard to underestimate the power o f my tenacity, a trait com m on to those o f us w ho belong to the Cancerian tribe. T h e talents that were little more than potential w hen I start ed — m y writing abilities, m y skill as an entertainer, m y knack for reinvigorating the ancient art o f astrology — have had 20 years to ripen. W hat heights do you w ant to be living at in 2 0 1 9 , m y fellow Crab? If you tap into the diligence w hich is your birthright, you sim ply cannot be denied. In fact, I w ouldn’t be surprised if you reached the sum m it by 2 0 0 7 .

LEO

(July 23-A ug. 22): I dare you to drop what you’re doing and make a pilgrimage to a sacred spot that’s alm ost too exciting for you to bear — a sanctuary that sim ul taneously shatters you w ith re morse for what you’ve been m iss ing and electrifies you w ith a virile determ ination to seize what you’ve been denying yourself. (W om en can be virile too, you know.) To boost you in your quest, I will pray to the G oddess o f Clean Breaks that she will help you escape your irrational mistrust o f

finding heaven on earth.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): According to the World Health Organization, 100 million acts o f sexual intercourse, involving more than 200 million partners, take place on the earth every 24 hours. I find it enormously com forting that pleasure o f such monum ental proportions is erupting so routine ly. It makes m e feel certain that despite the media’s propaganda to the contrary, w e really do live in a loving universe. And what does this have to do with you? W ell, on a normal day, an average o f 16.6 m illion Virgos are getting it on globally. If my readings o f the cos m ic vibes are correct, however, I believe the figure will be more like 50 m illion this week. Your tribe is now enjoying peak levels o f tender lust.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-O ct. 22): Feeling twinges o f longing for more mothering, or more nurtur ing, or more som ething-but-youdon’t-know-what? I think it may be tim e to get yourself a Big Sister. You know, a plucky w om an w ho’s halfway between a m om m y and a girl friend. Som eone w ho’s a little bit older and wiser than you (G oddess knows you could use a helpful nudge from som eone w ho knows you don’t know it all) — yet not so much older and wiser that she’s always pulling rank. Put out a call for a superwoman or a mentor w ho not only likes and understands you but also sees what you’re missing.

SCORPIO

(O ct. 23-N ov. 21): W hen I took m y daughter Z oe on the merry-go-round, she bolted straight for the gold horse w ith streaming violet hair. I chose the hum ble pig: dirty pink, head pointed dow n, squat body low to

the ground. T he w om an w ho operated the ride came over and confided to me that I was the first person to hop on the porker in m onths. Proud o f m y expression o f individuality, I nodded and said, “Bet I get to where w e’re going just as fast as everyone else, though.” This led, as the ride began and I whirled around, to a meditation on you, Scorpio. I felt certain that m y action was sym bolic o f the choice you should make in the com ing week.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-D ec. 21): A w hile back, Sagittarian pitcher M ike Mussina signed a three-year, $20.5 million contract extension w ith the Baltimore Orioles, turning down fatter offers from other teams. “Som etim es m oney is not that big a deal,” he was quoted as saying by writer Scott Ostler. I believe you should follow Mussina’s example this week, Sagittarius. If it means you’ll have a better chance at finding peace, love, and under standing, pass up the $25 m illion offer and settle for the $20.5 m il lion.

CAPRICORN

(D ec. 22Jan. 19): O nce a year I select one sign o f the zodiac to be the recipi ent o f a special service. In 1999, Capricorn, you’re it. Here’s my offer. Make or acquire a sym bol o f your m ost heart-rending anguish. Send it to me. I will then conduct a sacred ritual o f purification dur ing which I will burn that sym bol to ash as I pray for your deliver ance. W hile this may not extin guish your pain completely, I believe it will conjure a tangible healing w hich you will be able to feel the benefits o f within six weeks. Mail a representation o f what hurts you the most to m e at P.O. Box 150628, San Rafael, CA 94915.

Gan -Feb. 18): W atch for a hooping crane feather floating on the w ind, Aquarius. Keep an eye out for the face o f Jesus in a potato chip and mirror sunglasses on toy robots and Hallmark cards in the gutter and sequinned T-shirts on senior citizens. T he arrival o f any o f these signs is practically a guarantee that a profound stroke o f dum b luck will soon follow. But if you’d pre fer not to make your fate depen dent on such chance sightings, I suggest you focus your attention elsewhere. Be alert, instead, for ripe opportunities to improve com m unication, subtle invitations from people w ho’ve been unavail able, and unexpected openings to heal long-standing schisms.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): [Editor’s note: T he message con tained in this horoscope was chan neled by Rob Brezsny verbatim from G od. If you have any com plaints, please direct them to the Supreme Being Herself, not Rob.] You m ust becom e more earthy about your spiritual aspirations, Pisces. Understand? Bring your lofty ideals to bear on your most intim ate decisions. Ask yourself the question, “H ow w ould G od like m e to watch TV ?”, or “H ow w ould G od want me to make love tonight?” For extra credit, dear Pisces, I dare you to put a bum persticker on your car that says the following: “G od was m y co-pilot, but w e crashed into the m ou n tains and I had to eat H er.” ® You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night for your

expanded w eekly ho roscop e 1- 900- 903-2500 S i- 9 3 p e r m in u te . 18 a n d o v e r. T o u c h to n e p h o n e . C/S 8 1 3 / 3 7 3 - 9 7 8 5 A n d d o n ’ t f o r g e t to c h e c k o u t R o b ’s Web s it e a t w vw vur.realastrology.co m / U p d a te d Tuesday n ig h t.

last w eek’s answ ers

oiLnage-5577 Intoxicating 78 Moslem magistrate 79 Freshwater fish 80 Duke or Day 81 C lassifies 82 W ise men 83 Battlefield shelters 85 Elevator cars 86 Dislike Intensely 67 Gam bler's concern 88 Cool, dry and bracing 89 Lahr or Lytell 90 “— and Sam* (novel) 93 Georgia fruit 94 Beat soundly 98 Mimicked 99 Eastern Christian 101 One of the Muses 103 Sacred im age: alt. sp. 104 Frenchm an's dream 105 Perfume 106 Brother of M oses 107 Linen fuzz 108 Large parrots 109 T o Autumn" poet 110 Education bigwigs 111 Dirk DOWN 1 Garden flaw

2 3 4 5

River in Italy Excited Ranch hands End as a consequence 6 European shad 7 Goddess of youth 8 Pierre's pal 9 Rocky Mountain sheep 10 Beach shelter 11 Greek market place 12 Talk wildly 13 "A Chorus Line* number 14 Nagged at 15 Hidden or secret 16 Farm enclosure 17 Wander idly 18 French seasons 28 Cheers for the matador 30 Assam silkworm 32 Bud or bush lead-in 34 Belt holders 35 Clement and Urban 36 Of or near the ilium 37 Ethical 38 Palm cockatoo 39 She wept for her children

-ppril 7 , 1 9 9 9

40 Spartan serf 41 "Ethan — " 42 Crescent shaped figures 43 Baker's need 45 Like a pie crust 46 Easily frightened 49 Sourtempered ones 50 a rc u s employee 51 Begin again 53 French clerics 54 Broadway's Neil v 55 Noted modiste 57 Com rades 58 Bowling alleys 59 Impudent 61 Ord and Dix 62 Discovers 63 Fine line of a letter 64 Skin disorder 65 Alphabetical list 66 Pueblo Indians 67 Remarkable deeds 68 Press agent's concern 69 Lo ses color 70 Have actual being 72 Skirt inserts

73 Old World sandpiper 76 Burgundy/ 19 champagne 23 drink 77 Large cask 78 Tall marsh 27 plants 80 Extinct bird 61 Levantine ketch 82 One of a Slavic u people 84 Large 48 crowds of people

r -

85 Packing cases 58 86 Evil spirits 88 "Beauty and the — " 89 Conductor's 63 wand 90 Recreation 7r area 91 Fencing sword 92 Leningrad's river 93 — colada (drink)

64 65

94 Zhivago's love 95 Strip or peel off

96 Vocal quality 97 Grafted, in pig 88 heraldry 100 Maiden164 name ireceder pre< 168 102 TV actress Charlotte

91 92

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cuts

A=Asian, B=Black, Bi = Bisexual, C=Christian, CU = Couple, D-^ Divorced, F=Female G=Gay, H= FHispanic, ISO=ln Search Of, |=Jewish, LTR = Long-Term Relationship M=Male, Ma=Married, ND = No Drugs, l\IS=Non-Smoking, NA=No Al cohol, P=Professional, S=Single, W=White, Wi=Widowed, YO=Years Old

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C a ll

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UNCONVENTIONAL 49 YO DWF recently returned from teaching art in Africa. ISO spiritual, contem plative, w itty SM for hiking, biking, sw in g dancing, ligh t hearted appreciation o f Earth. Possible LTR. NS, ND, no m alls. 2884 ________ MY FRIENDS AND I ARE ISO PARTNERS in crime who enjoy being dazed & con fused in the afternoons while b akin g at 4:20. 2882_______ _____________________ ISO WORKOUT. AN ACCELERATED heart rate from k issin g that g listen s, wellearned sweat from love who listens... Spot me if you are of the light, beautiful, into deliberateness. 2885__________ INCORRIGIBLE, 46, VOLUPTUOUS DF, NS, who knows her body, mind and spirit connectedness. Enjoys outdoors, foreign film s. ISO NS, 40+, with inti mate self-aw areness, honesty, ad ve n turous traveler. Couch potatoes need not apply. 2903_____________ HAPPINESS IS: TOGETHER ON A MTN. at sunset, sultry sum m er air, warm earthly scents, rom ance, peace, quiet, looking deeply in your eyes, laughs. SWF, 27. see ks SWM, 25-30, NS. 2853. GOURMET MAN RECIPE: Add these ingredients and mix well: a heart, brain, sm irky grin, and insanely goofy interior. A 34 YO SW F w ill stir up these ingredients. 2858______________________ TUMBLEWEED SEEKS REASON FOR roots. Curvy, easy-to-look-at SWF, 40s, accomplished at work, play, life, w ishes to share m usic m aking, sw eat, good life w/ tall, centered M type. 2860 SWF, 21, STUDENT, SEEKS SW, athletic, preppy M, 21-25, to have fun, and act silly. Must love d o gs, p laying vo lle yb all on the beach and listenin g to Jim my Buffett. 2861 FUN-LOVING SWF, 21, STUDENT. Likes: Chianti, outdoor spo rts and sarcasm . Seeks: w ell-dressed, athletic M, 21-26, for adventure, fun & laughter. Must like hiking, m ovies & sno w b all fights. 2862 INDEPENDENT FEMALE ADVENTURER, skier, climber, horse wom an. I like to play outside & hate the city. Lo o kin g for som eone to play with; tired o f going solo. 2873 __________________ SWF, 31, DARK HAIR/EYES, PETITE, own-to-earth, enjoys quiet e venin gs it home, outdoors, o ccasio n al nights lit. ISO LTR w/ sen sitive guy, 30s, ares about h im self & others, doesn’t eed to im press me. 2880

AIN’T MISS-BEHAVIN’. Rubenesque diva ISO eclectic, 128 MB Ram gentleman for span king-go o d tim es. High brainbytes. A reel watcher. Well noted. Mews & muse. Child-free & aim ing for LTR.

ARTIST SEEKS MUSE: DWF, late 40s, lithe, slender, fit, energetic, ISO im agi native, bright counterpart who’s p as sionate, sincere, kind, optim istic, strong & likes to dance. NS/ND. 2808

DWF, NS. MY LIFE IS DIVIDED BUSILY between farm, art, profession & family. Aesthetics, nature’s w isdom & beauty are core. I love to bike, kayak, trailride, sw im , travel, hike, photograph Charlotte countryside, given time. 5’2” , Rubenesque, adventuresom e, indepen dent, creative. Guitar player, w o o d worker, horsem an, com m unicative, cheerful optim ist preferred, so ish . 2846 ATTRACTIVE INSIDE & OUTSIDE. DWPF, 45, NS, positive outlook, healthy lifestyle, w ell-educated, mother, nature lover. ISO relationship based on respect, trust & com m unication w/ attractive, intelligent, fit, nurturing PM counterpart. 2792______________________ SWF, 31, LOOKING FOR A HELPING HAND, a strong, big hand for com pan ionship of any interest. Like comfort and luxury. 2797_______________________ SPRING FLING? I want to share my last 3 m onths in Burlington w /a n uncom plicated man who likes dancing, h ik ing, theater-going, d inin g out. I’m 47, 5 ’6 ” , attractive & adventurous. 2800

ATTRACTIVE LADY, 60, FULL OF LIFE, curious explorer, likes life, people, art, m usic, dancing, outdoors, learning, etc. Wants lively, sincere, NS, 55-65, prefer widower seeking commitment and learning. Friends first. 2775____________

A o e k in q u x m

ARE YOU VEGETARIAN, 25-35, intelli gent, open, interactive, fit, self-co n fi dent, conscience-m inded, h op e lessly romantic, excited by m usic, art, m oun tain bikes and purity of hum an emotions? I’m w aiting for you! 2889________

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST. DWF, 49, NS, loves travel, kayaking, tennis, hiking, gardens, m usic, snow shoeing, photog raphy, people, critters. ISO humor, great conversation, warmth, sparkle, friendship, perhaps LTR. 2777__________ DO YOU HAVE A PASSION FOR DANC ING? Do you want a partner to learn the Argentine tango? If your answ er is yes to both of these questions, please get in touch with me. 2723 _________

THE LOVE YOU GET IS EQUAL TO THE love you give. DWM, 4oish, 5’9 ”, 150 tbs., proportionate, youthful, interest ing. Likes m ost outdoor activities, laughing, m usic, m ovies. Se e kin g funioving com panion. 2906_______________

THE ONE I SEEK HAS SPARK, HUMOR, stability, spontaneity, health & looks, loves adventure, dancing, sp o ilin g me w/ attention. He’s unmarried, NS, 4050, and appreciates beauty & green eyes. 2726____________________________

MAN FROM MARS: DWCM, 55, NS/NA, looking for e asy-going extrovert, shapely, 4oish, active Christian lady, over 5’4 ”, under 150 lbs. Interests in church, dancing & other so cial interactions. 2907____________________________

CANCERIAN SWF, 27, DIRTY-BLONDE, short hair, green eyes, fluent in German, sen se of humor, ISO SWM, 2535, who’s cute, sm art, optim istic, NS, w/ life exp. & affectionate for LTR. 2691

SWM, 32, LOOKING FOR THE WOMAN to knock over liquor stores with, then spend the downtim e b a skin g in expen sive beers, cheap theater, boardercross, & yard sale s. It’s go time, baby! 2892

PLUS-SIZED WOMAN, 54, MONTPELIER, loves m ovies, dancing, good food, strolling, reading, d iscu ssin g books. Let’s have coffee, see movie/concert. Only friendship/com panionship in beginning. Must love dogs/cats. 2717

Please join us at the

Spring Fling Singles P arty at C lub M e t r o n o m e

Featuring the swingin’ jump

\ * * * ;

SM, 38, TEACHER, PROFESSIONAL actor/director, is see kin g independent wom an w/ hope, hum or and sense of wonder (writer? scientist? red hair?) to share unconventional life and produce l beautiful babies. 2894_________________ * SWM, 22, ATTRACTIVE, WITTY, CARING, ; likes sports, m ovies, quiet evenin gs. t ISO attractive F who’s open-m inded, l NS, disease-free, kinky, horny for adult t pleasure & possib le LTR. Letter/photo. * 2890__________________________________ I ALTERNATIVE-MINDED SWPM WHO * enjoys nature, hiking, biking, w riting &. I fun stuff is see kin g a fluently natural l wom an for a co-creative relationship. * Healthy, 34, 5’9” , NS/ND/NA, Rutland “ area. 2850_________________ ____________ ; FUN, ATHLETIC, EDUCATED, SINCERE, ; go o d-lo o king, skiin g , biking, NS SW PM , t 35, seeks NS, athletic, sweet, attractive SF, 27-36, who likes to play hard, l enjoys back-country adventures, film, « travel, d ogs. 2855_____________________

; * * ; I

loozotom y!

C a sh l i ar • l l o r s tl o e u v r e s •

MY FRIEND DAVE IS TALL, BLONDE, outdoorsy and gorgeous. He is also too (som ething) to consider placing an ad. For him: an active/outdoorsy, intel» ligent, liberal, pagan voo do o dancer * wom an. 2893__________________________ l l l l

: SJM, 30, ENTREPRENEUR, TALL, DARK * & handsom e, ISO SPF, 25-35, who is * beautiful, adventurous, and spontal neous. Se e kin g LTR, no gam es, no * kids, and no pets. 2856_________ __

Friday, May 7 , 9 p . 111. blues «f B

OWNER OF A LONELY HEART SEEKS soulm ate for friendship, p ossib le LTR. S/DWF, 31, see kin g adventurous, sp o n taneous SWM, 26-35, who likes ch il dren, knows how to enjoy life. No gam es, please. 2687

PARTNER WANTED: HAPPY, FIT, FUN, funny, loving, loyal, sm art, silly SPF, 30s, see ks kind, intelligent, caring, honest, wise man to share life’s joys and adventures. 2770_________________

THREE CRAZY 20-SOMETHING room mates ISO the diggidy... If you enjoy life on a higher plane, then we’re the buds for you! 2692____________________

BEAUTIFUL M, WELL-CENTERED, stable, low m aintenance; loves jazz, art, fine dining, m oonlit w alks, sle e p in g late. Se e kin g sim ilar partner, late 20S-30S, to explore life’s finer aspects. 2870

* ARE YOU OKAY? THAT FALL FROM I Heaven m ust have hurt. Sin g le , starl sw ept seraphim , 43, see ks sin gle , scin* d ilatin g fem ale soulm ate. Remember, * true love is “ Heaven sen t.” 2871_______

P r iz e s

Ini ro(l ucl oi *\ S \ \ i n n D a n c e L e s s o n s

1 THIRTYSOMETHING MAN, NS, profes-

o f l e r e n e a r l i e r in t he e\ emi i <;.

See page 44 for registration details.

Lovs . coim&sdo

ATTRACTIVE, FIT PWF, NS, ENJOYS b lading, skiin g, hiking, w o rkin g out, travel, good conversation, d in in g out & much more. ISO sam e in handsom e, fit WM, NS, 30-45, in Burl, area. 2684

SWPF, 27, SLENDER, TALL, ACTIVE, attractive, educated, see ks SPM , NS, to share love of books, politics, skiin g, running, outdoors and talking. 2759

DWF WHO STILL WANTS TO BELIEVE IN fairytales...w aiting for extraordinary man, 40-55, worldly, sincere, intelligent, open, secure, attractive in and out, hum orous, envi ronm entalist, passio n ate, parent, wanting to believe, too. 2834_______________

rf jm

LEADING RANDOM LIFE-LIKE METANAR RATIVE. Please have a sen se of humorin (and sim ilar age, valu es, etc.) 43, settled down, but not slowed down, upbeat, offbeat, usta-B-athlete. With you?...Life com plete... 2682_______

2751__________________________

THE KEY TO INTIMACY IS THE COMMIT MENT to honesty and to the radical forgiveness necessary in order for hon esty to be safe. DWF, 37, NS/ND ISO SM who shares sam e belief. 2845

A & k w q M SM

24-YO STUDENT WHO LOVES CHILDREN & adventure. Se e kin g a tall, dark, 25YO man who wants to be a chef, likes traveling & quiet get-togethers. 2681

DWPF PAGAN, 33, CONTINUING THE journey with new understanding, reach ing the highest level’s the goal. Se e kin g sane, dog & kid-loving, finan cially solvent, psycho-ex-free soulm ate to share life. 2805 _____________

» sio nally an art instructor, so cia lly an * artist, poet, m usician 81 dancer, see ks l an NS, o utgo in g 28-42 YO who w ish es * to have her cake... Honesty as my ; frosting. 2872__________________________ * IF YOU’VE GOT EVERYTHING EXCEPT

Dear Lola. M3/ wife is entering her

eighth month eft her first pregnancy, and I can't get enough of her bod. Her skin is smooth and flushed, her tummy is tight and domed, and her breasts are nothing short of extraordinary. To me, she’s turned into a gor geous fertility goddess, and I ache to worship at her shrine. The problem? ATy wife, who has always

been proud of her slim physique, is hopelessly self conscious and utterly disinterested in sex. I’m going crazy here. What to do? Hot, hot, hot in Huntington Dear Hot. hot, hot. Bless your soul. Preg nant women the world over pray for apostles like you. your wife, on the ether hand, sounds a tad overwhelmed. First preg nancies can be mighty scary, and if you’re show ing her anything like the unbridled enthusiasm you display in your letter, it may be more than she can handle. Treat this woman with gentle devotion. Light a votive candle and replace the Hallelujah chorus with a Gregorian chant, and have faith that her seas will part.

l som eone to share it with, I’d like to

* meet you. DPM see ks NS S/DPF, 30-40, l who’s bright, talented, attractive and ! likes the outdoors. K id s OK. 2875

Lo re .

/ J

d u D la

Or respond t h e o ld -fa sh io n w ay: CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1-900-870-7127 $l. 99 /m ln . m u s t b e

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nen Aeekinq w om en, a m t RELATIONSHIP MAKES LIFE COME TO LIFE. I’m 33, tall, attractive, high IQ, professional, creative, sincere, openhearted, relationship-oriented. If you’re 25-32, real, see k true love, let’s meet and explore. 2877_____________________ LOOKING FOR THAT SPECIAL, beautiful girl. DWM, 35, 6 ’2” , 180 lb s., It. brown hair/blue eyes. N ice-looking, exciting guy ISO beautiful, sp e cial girl inside & out for great LTR. Children OK. Please describe yo u rself & I’ll call. 2833______ SPRING FLING. SWPM, 38, 6’, SEEKS LTR w/ spunky, so ph isticated , active SF, 18-38. Interests: travel, m ountains, s k i ing, boating, off-beat humor, the ocean, wine, sp icy food, fun tim es, bad weather, crop circles. You? 2812________ SWM, 24, ISO SWF, 24-29, W / LOOKS for w eekend adventures and LTR. Must enjoy travel, h ikin g, concerts, outdoor activities, d inin g out and long, romantic candlelit nights in bed. 2811________ CITY DWELLING, AGRARIAN LEANING, 34, educated, NewMedia freak longs for a meaty Am azon librarian type who’s fierce and o riginal in her life/art. Vegetarian, NS a +. Track me. 2818 BiWM, 26, GEEK, SEEKS FAIRY PRINCESS with whom to share m iscel laneous nerdy pursuits. Must be NS/ND and enjoy film, art, m usic and life in general. 2836 _______________ _ LIFE IS FOR LIVERS. Fit, attractive, ide alistic SPM , 46, se e k s sm art, sexy, happy, progressive w om an (with a good liver) to share culture, travel, outdoor activities, politics, partying and shade-tree p h ilo so ph izin g. Laughter, m usic and love happen! 2843 SWPCM, 36, CATHOLIC W / A GREAT attitude tow ards life se e k s F with sim i lar perspective for friendship. 2837 GET YOUR GROOVE BACK. Attractive, fit SWM, 25, se e k s attractive older wom an for exciting rom ance. I’m su c cessful, dark, fun, kind , happy, into the finer things in life. Are you? Call! 2849 43 YO, 5’9", 210 LBS., ENJOYS DINING, day trips, boating, b ow ling, quiet tim es, m usic, treating a lady nicely. Lo o kin g for a F, 25-44, with sim ilar interests for LTR. 2838_________________ IF YOU'RE FUN, FIT, ATTRACTIVE, e d u cated, high-energy and spo n taneo us, then we have a lot in com m on. SW PM lo o king for F, 3 5 -4 5 , approx. 5’6 ” . Su cce ssfu l and generous so u l see kin g mate. 2839___________________ CARPENTER, MUSICIAN, ANIMAL LOVER, lover o f life. SWM, 39, se e k in g healthy F, 2 7-40, no racists. I’m 5’9 ” , 190 lb s. 2842__________________________ DWM, 43, 5 ’8", SLIM, ISO m usical, attractive, spiritu al poetess, 26+, w/ appreciation o f the ab su rd. Let’s sin g, talk, laugh & co o k together. Children, pets, im agination welcom e! ND/NA.

28M__________________________ — SWPM, TALL, 34, MUSICAL, FOLKY, active, outdoorsy, casu al, d og-ow ning, educated, e t c .J S O grow n-up Ivory girl tom boy; m aybe one-tim e sun sh in e d ay dream , 20S-30S. Open to future. 2779

ST. J MAN: DWM, 43. RUNNER, HIKER, lifter, loves m usic, dancing, see ks vo lu ptu o us F for adventures in the Kingdom . Children OK. Race unim portant. Good intellect appreciated. 2781

< ; ; ; I

AN ENGLISHMAN IN VERMONT. Looking for an independent and intelligent wom an who enjoys good food and laughs. I am 35, 6 ’, 180 lbs., handsom e, NS, professional. 2761__________

; TALL, GOOD-LOOKING M, 29, FROM NYC, educated and articulate, seeks ; red hot, sexy fem ale for fun tim es. Let’s set the night on fire. 2762________ ■ WE DESERVE IT! Tired of relationships tacking passion? SWM, 30, attractive, HI. SWPM, 29, $’ 6", 160 LBS., short brown hair, hazel eyes. I’m neat, clean, ; slim/med. build, seeks trim, attractive SF who believes in balance of gentle organized. Can carry on intelligent con ness w/ intensity and appreciates film, versation, good sen se of humor. No kids, financially stable, college degree, ; food, spontaneity, laughter & being active. 2772 _____________________ never been married. Very' active & fit. ISO a LTR w/ the right person. 2785 DESCARTES WALKS INTO A BAR. The bartender asks him if he would like a DALAI LAMA MAMAS WANTED by sp iri drink. Descartes replies, “ I think not” tual, m usical, lover o f children, go d and disappears. DWPjM with tongue see kin g Rasta man. In the m iddle of planted firmly in cheek. 2776__________ the w oods or NYC you feel at home. W hat’s your purpose on this planet? ISO CHEERY CHEERLEADER TO LEAVE 2807__________________________________ the sidelin es and join the gam e. Let’s get it on! Large pom -pom s a +. 2721 BARRE NON-TOXIC DWM, 41, HUMOR OUS, intelligent, attractive, nature-lov ATTRACTIVE DWPM, 4oS, BLONDE, FIT, ing, leisurely athletic & neutered m ulti ISO beautiful, confident, Rubenesque cuisine om nivore. Se e ks intelligent, PF. Enjoy outdoors, art m useum s, city diverse, 420-tolerant & m ellow lady to suppers, love life. Am open, learning to share life’s d aily pleasures. 2795_______ listen, w/ great sense of humor. 2722 BELIEVE IN MAGIC? Let’s cast spells. $100 REWARD FOR INFORMATION lead What the heavens know the heart con ing to the altar and connection of Ms. firms. SWM, Capricorn, 52, lo o king for Right. She’s about 40, around 125 lbs., soulm ate, Rutland area. Interests: attractive, fit, energetic, romantic. She co o king, photography, the craft. 2796 likes anim als, country, farming. If you’ve seen her, call this number and PAINTER IN BLUE PERIOD, 23, ISO w or give up to love. 2745__________________ ried w om an to ease worried mind. Fancies Nabokov, Pixies, therm odynam “I’LL TAKE THE CURTAIN, BOB." SWM, ics, harm onica’s play, skeleton keys, 32, seeks single wom an in Ctrl. VT, 25rain. D islikes long w alks. Brains, beau35ish, for fun and maybe more. I’m fit, ty, o pp o sable thum bs a plus. 2798 fun, creative, educated, kind and not too bad lookin’. No sm okers or (sorry) DWM, EARLY 40S, sm art but appropri kids, please. 2735_____________________ ate, attractive but imperfect, horny but discreet, fun but has as many bad SM, 52, RUTLAND AREA, SEEKS attrac habits as the rest. Are you that much tive lady, 30-55, for dating leading to _________________ different? 2802 LTR. Only ladies seeking respect, car ing, and honesty need respond. I’m*2 DO YOU FIT INTO MY LIFE? DWPM, 6’, 5’n ” , blue eyes, brown hair. 2737 42, half yu pp ie in excellent shape, into organics and life. Travels light. Se e ks F YOU: REAL & SURREAL, SERIOUS & w/ sim ilar qualities under 46. 2804 NOT, active & lazy, a betty. Me: 27 & 2, fam ous & infam ous, w illing & w ill EXTREME ALL-WEATHER COMMUTER ful, a knuckledragger. Let’s hit the halfcyclist, 25, see ks a strong, laid-back pipe together. 2738____________________ wom an who is proud to wear her bike sh o e s in public and carry a helmet and GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU SMILE. backpack. Bike Power! 2749___________ DWPM, 37, blonde/blue, 5’io ” , athletic, fit, romantic, seeking honest, fit, sle n SWCM, 30, SEEKING SOULMATE. Enjoys der, open-m inded F. Let’s laugh all day outdoor activities. Se e kin g sem i-norm al and love all night. 2740_______________ SWCF, 24-37, m ust be honest, sincere and lo o kin g for LTR, friends first. ND, UNIQUE SWM, 30, 5 ’9". 165 LBS., NS, no gam es, please. K ids OK. 2764 see ks intelligent, fit & fun NS F, 24-32. I enjoy m usic, w orking out, chess, trav TURN ME ON. HANDSOME, HEALTHY & el, “ Sein feld ” repeats, & lots more. long-haired, 21 YO M ISO healthy, fit F for erotic adventures! Clean, safe, and 2743_______________ _________ discreet. Be creative! 2752_____________ IF U CN RD THS, U CLD HV A GRT DT! DWPM, 43, educated, active, fit, enjoys SNOWBOARDER/OUTDOOR ENTHUSIb icycling, h ikin g, conversation, books, ASTH SWM, 27, lo o king for a drinking travel. ISO significant other. Ctrl. VT, partner and conversation over riding, but w ill travel. 2694___________________ cam ping and life. New to the area; lo o kin g for directions and fun!! 2765 LETS MEET NOW AND AVOID THE su m mer rush! SW PM , 33, handsom e, witty FUN-LOVING OR PLANE CRAZY? Find and brainy, see kin g very bright, very out! SWM, 26, enjoys flying, skiing/ridpretty, younger student or prof., 23-28, ing, fine dinin g, m ovies, water sports, to get to know, share fun with. 2697 travel, sin gle m alts. ISO hum orous SWF, NS, 21-30, to go AW OL with. 2769 SWM, 40, HUMOROUS/ROMANTIC Do BARELY ATTRACTIVE M SEEKS FURTHER ; you enjoy golf, cam ping, playing cards, ; star gazin g, bike riding, weekend getREJECTION. Have a dead-end job, no p ersonality and a bad sense of humor. : aw ays, back rubs, soft m usic, candle: light dinners 8t good wine? ISO honest, Lo o kin g for a d eaf and blind wom an ; fit, down-to-earth, hum orous F. 2703 with no self-esteem . 2758

SOUL SEARCHING. Honest, thin, attractive, unique SWM, 26, tired o f women that aren’t interested in a relationship. ISO sim ilar, caring SW F who is w illing to m ake time to be together. 2783

SWM, 32* LOOKING FOR THE WOMAN TO KNOCK

The

to y o T g l TEX * ifivX

over liquor stores with, then spend the downtime basking in expensive beers, cheap the ater, boardercross & yard sales. It’s go time, baby!

2892

16 1 Church Street Burlington 865-3632

W inn er a lso receives a gift ce rtificate for a FR E E D a y H ik e r ’s G u id e to V T from

• T h e .O u td o o r G e a r Exchange ■

used • closeout • new 191 Bank St„ Burlington 860-0190

SWM. Real intercourse begins in our m in ds— deep thoughts, brave living, fresh, cold air, savvy, sexy, sensitive, not in city. Desires cool kitty, slightly thrifty, worldly, fa u x hippy. Let’s combine and boogie. 2706_________________ GREAT CATCH. DPWM, 50, fit, active intelligent & easy on the eyes, ISO active, slim , spo n taneo us, outdoor type, 40-50, to enjoy nature’s gifts. I enjoy skiin g, hiking, canoeing, pho to g raphy, reading & travel. Friends first? Let’s try it. 2707_______________________ THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT A DIS CREET tattoo and/or a pierced part! W anted: Artistic, Athletic, Attractive, feminine female for friendship, relation ship, approx. 25-35. A vailable: AAA, m asculine male, about 35. 2709_______ LIFE’S BETTER..WITH POSITIVE MENTAL attitude. SW PM , 29, fit, 150 lbs. Se e kin g female friendship, possible LTR. Passionate climber, mountaineer, back-country skier, m any sk ills, inter ests. House-trained, honest, reliable. Enjoys learning, sharing, having fun when w ork’s done. 2710_______________ NORWEGIAN WOOD, HESSE'S GOLDm und/Siddhartha, creative, contem pla tive, univ. grad., world traveler, SW PM, 28, 5’9” , 145 lbs., athletic, cute. ISO PF, sexy, athletic, attractive m istress/ love mentor for Su nd ay m orning coffee/ “Afternoon D elight.” 2715 SWM, 26, SCORPIO SEEKS ATTRACTIVE, fit F for com pany & fun. I find the eyes the m ost attractive feature of a w om an. Tall, athletic, very attractive, great sm ile, easy to get along. Not see kin g LTR right away. Strong sex drive has kept me sin g le . Safe-sex people only, please. 2716__________________ THE ROAD NOT TAKEN. The w oods are lovely, dark & deep. Free spirit loves running, draw ing, ja zz, children, nature, photography, h ikin g, writing, being w/ som eone special. NS, 5’9” , 160. 2718

The Mostly Unjabulcm Social Life ot Cthan Green

HOW N O T T o Im p r e s s

P e rso n a l o f the W eek w in s d in n e r for tw o at

DON’T FRAUDULENTLY INSIST THAT YOUR NAME IS ON THE LIST.

INTEGRITY & HUMOR. SWM, 44, w/ high m arks for integrity/humor would like to meet attractive, fit, NS woman, 33-50, who enjoys sports, good food, laughter & friends. Children OK. 2719

Aeekinq wom en BARRE AREA, 35. PETITE & FUN-LOV ING. Se e kin g GF who enjoys nature, the arts, spirituality, literature, etc. A F who also valu es the art of com m unication, com m itm ents & a LTR. 2720 BEAUTIFUL, ATHLETIC BiWF, 31, blonde, 5*7” , newly relocated, see ks openm inded, secure, charm ing F for fun, friendship, w hatever might happen.

2725______________________________ ATTRACTIVE, FREE-SPIRITED SF WHO enjoys m usic, dancing, the outdoors, conversation, and a daily 420 seeks sam e, 18-29. Please, no lipstick, bighair fem m es. Must be attractive. 2731 PRINCESS CHARMING? HELP! 18 YO dam sel-in-distress seeks 18-23 YO to rescue me from everyday blahs. Let’s talk about m usicals and politics while sip p in g a hot cup of cider. 2733

Aeekinq m en JUST GOING AROUND AGAIN FOR A chance at rom ance— really and truly, that is! Perhaps you’d like to meet up with me som etim e real soon? GM is in a usual way; lo o king for romance.

2904______ __________________ -— SUBMISSIVE MALE SEEKS DOMINANT male. Can I please you? 2883 ENJOY HIKING, SKIING. GYM, SUSHI, o utgo in g. Lo o kin g for 25-35 YO with sim ilar interests, fun & muscular. Burlington. 2859

by Eric Orner D o n ’t c a r r y lu m py s t a s h e s o f CONTRABAND IN YOUR SOCK.

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to respond to a personal ad call 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 -7 1 2 7 # $ # # $ # $ # # # # # # # $ # # # $ m # W m m # # m 4 m we’re open 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

A o c k in q m a n , c u n t

SWBiM, 42, ST. ALBANS AREA, d om es tic type ISO Bi/GM, 30-45. No head games, NS. Are you clean, honest, spiritual & hairy? Sincere LTR only. 2876

GWM, 45. LOVES COOKING, GARDEN ING, travel, long drives. ISO GWM, 3555, for LTR. Let’s get to know each other. 2814_____________________________ GWM, LATE 50S ISO MALES FOR FUN & friendship. Age/race open. I’m s ’ i o ” , balding & a little overw eight, but love to please. 2841 > ______________________ CAN JOHNNY COME OUT AND PLAY? Is Johnny afraid to com e out or be found out? GWPM, 42, ISO others, 25-45, who want to play or LTR. Marital status not im portant. 2848 ISO CHUBBY OR LARGER GWM IN THE Burl, area for romance, LTR and/or friendshhip. Age unim portant. 2780 MOSTLY SUBMISSIVE GWM, 35, 6’, 185 lbs. Handsom e, m asculine “guy next door” see ks sim iilar m ales, 20-40, for erotic S&M role gam es. 2794__________ LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT GUY? GWM, 23, blonde, blue eyes, nice-looking, thin, ISO LTR w/ athletic M, 18-30. I’m an outdoor lover, anim al appreciator. Let’s discover h app ine ss together. 2750

GWM, 33, 6 \ 170 LBS., BR./BR., go a tee, w orkboots & jeans type, seeking cutie with a great personality. Be out, NS, ND, positive outlook and love to laugh. Dog lover who prefers m odesty over arrogance. 2774 NEW TO SCENE. SWM, 50, see ks top m ales for fun and friendship. Age/race open. I’m 5’n ”, med. build, blue eyes, brown hair. 2736______________________ GWM, 35, LOOKING FOR WELL-BUILT, sincere, down-to-earth friends. Must love the m ountains o f northern VT. You should have a good heart and love nature. Call me. 2742

IMAGINATIVE, FUN SWM, 30, ISO naughty, but nice, playm ates to share erotic, romantic, im aginative, safe adventures with lonely & Ma welcom e, threesom es also. Discreet 8t clean a must, 2881____________________________ MaWM, 5 ’7", LONG BLOND HAIR, intel ligent, considerate, iconoclastic, kinky 81 pierced. Se e kin g attractive F for friendship and a bit on the side . Wife encourages! Intelligent, young, dark haired, kinky, NS are pluses. 2851

SWM, 45, ATHLETIC, INTELLIGENT, interested in fit, intelligent Fs, 30-50, for sensual, discreet rendezvous. No com m itm ent, just unbelievable pleasure. 2852________________________.

; MaWCU, EARLY 40S, ISO ATTRACTIVE, j straight M for intim ate threesom e. Our * first time. May take som e ta lkin g to * convince her. Healthy & discreet, I expect sam e. 2806_____________________

SWM, 30ISH. WITH A LOT OF STAMINA, ISO sexy Su gar Momma for frolicking good tim es. Discretion assured. 2857 TALL, THIN, HEALTHY, DISCREET, goodlooking WM, 32, ISO interesting, sensual, fun tim es w/ Fs or CUs. Open to offers. 2874___________________________ Bi-CURIOUS DWM, 40s, slim , gentle sincere, climber, skier, long brown hair, br. eyes, intuitive, open mind, free spirit, mellow, m ystical. Lo ngin g for relaxed, intimate exp, w/ receptive CU. 2879 EROTIC FUN: SWM, 28, BROWN HAIR 81 eyes, see kin g fem ales, 18-40, for erotic adventures. Don’t be shy. Live out your fantasies. Will reply to all. Discretion given and expected. 2809_____________ MaWM, 30, ATTRACTIVE, ISO MaF who’s as bored as I am. Lo o kin g for som e adult fun & adventure. Very clean, safe and discreet. No relationships. 2813

j BiWM, 36, HAIRY, FIT. FIERCELY LOYAL, l loves w alkin g, m assage, reading, writ« ing, cats, creativity, gardening, learning, i IS 0 F> c u for friendship, ecstasy, I conversation, integration, fun & m aybe l e ygn..excellent sex._ 2784_______________ | SWM, 28, FUN, HONEST 8l INTERESTED I in m eeting others who like to have * S 0 0 ° tim es & fun. Into all that feels • S ° ° d & agreed upon by all. D/D free. * 2766 ------------------------------------------: TALL, ATTRACTIVE, VERY ATHLETIC * SWM> 2 7. 'SO 2 or more slim , attrac* frve 'ema es, 18-30, for sexy, good : tim es. Call_now _2768__________________ i ENERGETIC FEMALE AEROBIC DANCERS, ♦ 18-35, for bra and panty aerobic video. ! A Bachelor Party production. Please t inquire* 2 773

SWF, 35, ISO WOMEN OR MEN WHO enjoy the outdoors. New to Ctrl. VT. Would like to meet people who enjoy telem ark skiin g, snow boarding, backpacking, tennis, h ikin g & cycling. 2778

* # To respond to Letters Only ads:

INDEPENDENT, CONFIDENT, INTELLIGENT, hum orous, 43, mother o f one (5), great shape, attractive, auburn hair, brown eyes, enjoys beach, hiking, candles, su sh i, m usic, and w oodstove heat. ISO sim ilar, honest man. Box 469

27 YO, FULL-FIGURED, AFFECTIONATE SWF in Plattsburgh. ISO full-figured, affectionate SWM, 25-45, to spend time with. Hearty laughter, fiery passion & sharp wit. Let’s share. Box 494 SPUNKY SP F, 3 0 S , S K IE R , ACTIV E, ath letic, fun, h ealth-conscious, intuitive, vegetarian, focused. Enjoys travelling, adventure, m ountains. ISO SPM , sim ilar qualities, com m unicative, open, patient, em otionally mature, sen sitive, positive, funny, fit, happy. Box 488 ACTIVE, LITERATE, CREATIVE, MATURE F searching for man, 55-65, who can laugh while d isc u ssin g the m eaning of life. Let’s try canoeing, w alkin g in the woods, or sh a rin g dim sum . Box 483 LIFE IS A JOURNEY. Sh a ll we meet? Attractive N SP F ISO NSSW PM , 4 0 S. Traditional valu e s, so cia lly responsible, i-conscious, more. Box 481______

SARDENER, ARTISAN, EARLY-

FEISTY 81 ENGAGING, CUTE/SEXY SWF, 32, fit, runner, passionate about every thing, own b u sin ess. Desires SW PM, 30-42, worldly, centered, tall, sexy m esom orph. Active listener, soulful, im aginative, intuitive, NS, ScrabbleC?). Photo appreciated. Box 470___________ ATTRACTIVE BLONDE, GREEN-EYED SWF, NS, 19, co-ed at elite university ISO SWM, NS, fit, clean, sm art, likes tennis, sailin g, Rollerblading, or golf; at least 5’io ” 81 under 30. For friendship, p ossib le sum m er romance. Box 471 FIT THE BILL? Lo o kin g for SM who has hairy chest or deep voice or both. I also like men in uniform. You must be 32-46. Box 475_____________________ __ DWPF, SHY AT FIRST. WARM, CUTE, great sm ile, 4o ish, loves traveling, gar dening, exercise. Se e ks nice g u y charm ing, grounded, w ell-balanced, active liste ne r—for LTR. Se n se of hum or a must. Photo. Box 473________ LITERATE, ARTICULATE, HONEST F W/ sen se o f hum or see ks intelligent M, 55-65, with sam e for friendship, m aybe more. No God freaks, egocentrics, b ig ots. Color, national origin irrelevant. Box 460

J SP F w/ varied interests ISO M, , for co m panionship, good conion, exp lo ring the jo ys of life. 82

For ballroom d ancin g, 2905____________ SUN., 3/28, ASlP In ESSEX JCT., 7 P.M. You were b uying Straw berry Kiwi B8iJ’s and we were b ein g very silly. I was interested. Were you? 2891_____________ OTTER CREEK BAKERY, 3/27. Exchanged sm ilin g glan ces. You drove off in Audi, license 9 576. I w as with friends parked ahead o f you. Unattached 8l interested? I am. 2886_____________________________ UNO’S, ST. VALENTINE, WE SHARED flo ating helium Barbies, sm ile...pretty? C lapp in g hand s and burning cakes... You spy...I spy. We share coffee and e m b arrassin g Valentine birth stories? 2888___________________________________ RED ONION, CHURCH ST,, 3 /2 7 .1 :2 0 p.m ., Sat. Their Oriental noodles looked g o o d , tasty ve g g ie h alf-san d wich with soup, nevertheless it would be fun to b oldly search for burgers in paradise. 2887_________________________

HIGHER GROUND, 3/13. You: great laugh, mean friend. Me: guy with the horse. W anna people watch? 2854

DINERS, JOHNNY CASH, YAHTZEE, p lay gro un ds, coffee, PB R , vegan treats, burritos. Th ank you for being my com panion. See you so on , love. 2878

CREATIVE & EROTIC ROLE PLAY. .Sophisticated & im aginative. Safe, sane * | discreet. 2835_______________________ ♦

Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. A d dress to: PERSON TO PERSO N c/o SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

US: 3 WITCHES. YOU: PATHETIC victim .

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« MUSE:Y0U LEFT^ M INTRIGUING ♦ m essage on April is t, but it w as cut off ; after about 30 secon d s, no phone i number! Please try again. 2808 *

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DWM, 58, DOWN-TO-EARTH, NS, LIKE to meet a lady, NS, not overweight, but m ost of all a lady who can be true to one man. Box 464 x , r _ QCc o c r r " f * “ W ® * ™ L,£ » • " S ' ™ a " in late 50s from NY side o f lake. Invest > short note. Who

. ___________ __ AFFECTIONATE, ATTRACTIVE, TALL, FIT dad, 31, goat-oriented, positive, own busin ess, country life, o ccasional 420, mtn brk mg .c a m p in g , hockey. Love litle people? Sm , e? Som etim es silly? L e ts express w/ pen then. Photo? Box 495 _____________________

-------------------- -------------------------------------------SPIRIT-FILLED C DAD WHO BELIEVES

STARS, MOON & NORTHERN LIGHTS. S : i ^ nL h T o n a te 3° S' S ,m’ aEtract,ve' J ashlon attitude, pragm atic, green-eyed, m ajic woman see kin g poetic, m anly eco-man, Write me. Box 487____________________ SWPM W/ GREAT HUMOROUS SIDE & affinity for all critters, 5’9 ”, 40, 170 lbs., brown/curly w/ m atching eyeballs. ISO cool, cute SWPF, enjoys strolling & chatting, for possib le LTR. Box 490 GENUINE, GENEROUS GENTLEMAN, safe, sane, selectively see kin g sensuous, bold, bored (beautiful?) brat desiring discreet, d elicious dalliance. Dare we explore beyond these dim e-a-dozen ads? Box 484__________________________ YOU'VE EXPERIENCED THE REST, NOW try the best! I’m a keeper, are you? SWM, 35, NA/NS/ND, down-to-earth, decent guy ISO my future wife! Interested? Write me! Box 478__________ TALL, EDUCATED, HANDSOME, athletic SWM, 27, ISO intelligent, slim , attractive F, 35-45, for discreet, sen sual fun. Race/marital status unim portant. Send letter/photo to receive sam e. Box 474

~ t i , J Z?,

# WORTH YOUR $ 5 RESPONSE. GWF, 39, fun-loving, h onest, rom antic, ISO active, fem inine F for LTR who loves to live life to the fullest. Snow boarding/skiing, d ancin g a m ust. B o x 486 SHY BIF WANTING BIF o r BiCURIOUS F for friendship and frolic. Must be between 21-35, secure, open-m inded, o utgo in g, who loves conversation and se n su a l contact. Box 480

Looking for sam e, see a m ovie, w a lk alo n g Lake Cham plain. Box 468 K H

ATTRACTIVE, CARING, ND/NS SGWPF, 34 . ISO NS/ND SGF, attractive, caring, fem inine, who enjoys outdoor activities, d ancing, romance, m ovies, and va.'ues honesty, com m unication, cornm itm ents, friendship_ & LTR._ B o x 491----LOOKING TO MEET THAT SPECIAL som eone to share my life with! And find som e great friends out there! I’m easygoing, caring, loving, warm , kind , loyal, honest 81 lots more. I’m a Virgo 8l sin£ !.e - Box 492--------------------------------------------GWF, 60, LOOKING FOR YOUNGER GWF, NS, who is clean, honest, with a good sense o f humor. Who likes cuddling, quiet tim es, d ancin g & traveling. LTR poss,ble w/ riS ht Pe rso n - Box 493

DAD, 48, GOOD-LOOKING 81 FIT, see ks so n, 18-25. You m ust be b oyish, intelli gent and affectionate. Your discretion's expected, m ine’s assured. 485_________ GWM, 24, BRVBL, 170 lbs. ISO G friends, 20-40. Like h ikin g , bikin g, nature. Se n se o f hum or a +. Box 477 Bi-CURIOUS M, MID-40S, STOWE AREA, outd o ors type, biker, distance runner, se e k s clean & discreet, fit BiM/CU for w eekd ay w orkout 81 m assage. Box 472

SWM, EXPERIENCED LOVER ISO fem ale(s) who w ant fun-filled wild and/or erotic encounter. Very discreet, a vailable anytim e. Box 489___________ TALL, FIT, BICURIOUS PWM, 40S, seeks BiM or CU for good tim es. Must be clean, discreet, educated and not over w eight. Box 479

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CY B ER SP A CE. PO INT YOUR W EB BROW SER TO h t t p ://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM TO SU B M IT YO UR M ESSA G E O N -LIN E. How to place your FREE personal ad with Person to Person • F il l o u t t h is f o r m a n d m a il it t o : P e r s o n a l s , p . o . B o x 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , v t 0 5 4 0 2 o r f a x t o 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 1 5 . P L E A S E C H E C K A P P R O P R IA T E C A TEG O R Y . Y O U W IL L R E C E IV E Y O U R B OX # & P A S S C O D E B Y M A IL . • F ir s t 3 0 w o r d s a r e EACH EXTRA W O R D ).

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AIDS is not over...

N ew advances in drug therapies are helping in the battle against AIDS. Still, not everyone can afford them. And those who can are still living with the debilitating effects o f the disease and the drugs. And 17,000 Americans died o f AIDS last year AIDS will only be over when that number; around the world, is zero.

I don’t think I could even ride 50 miles...

The AIDS Ride is.

A spectacular 3-day, 275-mile journey by bicycle through a dream world. W here 3,500 people just like you support each other in a way we rarely witness in day-to-day life. Experience m the outdoors like never before— from the small communities o f colonial N ew England to the skyline o f colossal New York. 275 miles o f fresh air O ver ten thousand H people just like you have ridden in BostonONew York AIDS Ride over the f l last 4 years. Nationally, 17 Rides have sent over $55 million directly to AIDS charities.

That’s what a lot o f people think when they register. The Ride’s not easy. You’ll have to train. And through our training club and your on-staff coach, w ell help you with that. But the fact that the Ride is tough and challenging is where most people find the meaning in it. They get to push themselves into the realm I o f their true potential. I And do something about I AIDS that measures up I to 17,000 lives ft to o k I last year The fact you’re I not sure you could do ■ this may be the very ■ reason to register In the challenge o f jt, you may |jl discover a new friend— H your true self.

know if 1 can rifle mmm smm

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275 m iles.

But 17,000 _ mericans died of AIDS last year

People who do the AID§ Ride aren’t athletes...

d that’s enough ti make li§M me|| 33want

In fact, most have never done anything like this in their lives. Many don’t even own bikes when they register. It’s not a race. It’s not competitive. It’s cooperative. You ride at your own pace, as quickly or as leisurely as you like. Grandmothers do the ride. People in their 60s, and 70s. People who are HIV-positive, who’ve lost loved ones to A ID S, and people who’ve always wanted to break cut of their predictable shell into something daring and heroic.

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Where do the net proceeds go?

The net proceeds raisedTjyBpston riders will benefrtthe AIE^ w Btg^ oservices of Fenway Community Health Center, the largest community-based provider of HIV/AIDS medical and mental health services in N ew England. Last year alone, Fenway provided HIV testing, medical and health services, substance abuse counseling and nutritional counseling to nearly 55,000 patients— all regardless of the individual's ability to pay.

K f Sounds ■f good—I’ll 'm have to think I about it... m "Thinking about it" is the W biggest thing that comes J between human beings and

Official Airline:

Do I have to fend for myself in the wild?

AiTMricanAMnM*

No. O u r spectacular Mobile CitySMwill be the place you call home. W e provide delicious hot breakfasts and dinners. Scrambled eggs.Tortellini. Apple pie. Bagged lunches. H o t showers. Volunteer massage and chiropractic. Nightly entertainment. 5 daily water and snack stops. W e haul your luggage and provide the tents. All you have to do is pedal. People have consistently said that the AIDS Ride is the best-organized event they've ever been part of.

Silicon Graphics, Inc.

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Bicycling Magazine

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C LIF B A R

CALL TODAY

their dreams. How many things have you said you’re going to “think about” in life? The choice will never get easier Nothing's going to change three days from now.The biggest difference between people who do the Ride and those who don't is that people who do the Ride register Nothing magical. They just make the phone call. Instead o f being on the fence, they're going out on training rides.Today could be the day one phone call opens up a whole new chapter in your life. And the life o f someone living with AIDS. Call now, to register; o r get a free, full-color brochure. T h e A ID S Rides are created and produced by:

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16-18,

1999

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