Seven Days, April 19, 2000 by Seven Days

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q u e stio n

If the hills were alive with the sound of music, what would they be playing? Cuban Latino music! — Lisa Coven Program assistant, Intervale Organic Compost B urlington

“Let’s Give Them Something to Talk About,” by Bonnie Raitt. — Kevin Crossett

FREYNE’S DOUBLE STAN DARD . ' ; In his recent column (Inside Track, “Lenten Dispensation;’ f * March 15), Peter Freyne displays perfectly his contempt for both the journalistic tradition and the Roman Catholic Church. He feels it is necessary to trivialize the dis pensation given this year to Catholics on St. Patricks Day; next to follow are personal attacks on Catholic leaders. He also fails to make the distinction in Catholic teaching between peoples sexual inclinations and their decisions to act on them. Mr. Freyne preaches tolerance but, while doing so, ridicules Catholic clerics for following the venerable faith of their fathers. The double standard here could not be more obvious. — Dennis M. Nilsen Research Analyst, Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights New York, NY NAZI PROPAGANDA? The three core beliefs of Who Would Have Thought, Inc. are reminiscent of some of the best Nazi propaganda. Josef Goebbels would’ve been proud. — Christopher Haessly Burlington

Owner & W ebmaster, Play it Again Sam M ontpelier

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CRACKPOTS IMPORTED That was really strange when Alan Keyes and the Operation Rescue guy showed up in Montpelier with the politician from Derby [Inside Track, April 12].

WHY COMPLAIN ABOUT LIFESTYLE? The April 5 review of the movie Around the Fire seemed to be bitter complaints about people and a music “scene” that the critic, Rick Kisonak, either doesn’t know much about or simply experienced differ ently. I thought his review was flawed before I saw the movie, which I initially didn’t expect much from, anyway. I was not annoyed with Mr. Kisonak’s review of the quality of the film (that’s his job), but rather what he chose to focus on as his platform for criticism. The review mostly contained complaints about the realism of the story and the choices made by the main character. Since when has movie reviewing become a platform for whining about fictional lives portrayed in a movie? First of all, Mr. Kisonak implies that he would take a life of emo tional neglect and inner torment from unresolved past issues for a life of “comfort and privilege.” Well, I guess that’s his decision. He also seems to think that “rich” kids don’t drop out from their weil-provided-for life to find something else. After 10 years of

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Especially as they chose to invoke the story of Jericho — the Bible’s most blatant genocidal fantasy — to get their point across. It’s nice to know that most of Vermont’s crackpottery is imported. — Dave Webb Shelburne

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The music of Joseph arman and Don Moye, from the Art Ensemble of Chicago.

living in San Francisco, and [attending] upwards of 40 Dead shows, I knew many people who did exactly that. And by the way, my wife is a “sultry, flaxen-haired vixen of intellegence” who attended an East Coast boarding school and had dropped out to follow “jam bands,” along with many others I’ve known. Rather than being a “fairy tale,” I found the movie to be quite realis tic, considering it was a fictional account as seen through one per son’s eyes. It was actually the story of many people I’ve known. Mr. Kisonak should stick to the content and quality of the film rather than making personal attacks on the lives of fictional characters. And, I should mention, I did enjoy the film. — David Rice Middlesex

friend of 10 years, the person I’ve made my life and home with, and have no right to be with her at her bedside. Please read this last sen tence over one more time. I want you to picture this for you and your spouse for just one minute. Over the past eight years, many of my heterosexual friends have got ten married. While I am happy for the love that they have found in their lives, their ecstatic phone calls seeking congratulations and joy from me have always struck me as ironic. It is rather like a Jim Crowera white person exclaiming to their black friend about the great com fort and view from the front of a bus or the “whites only” section in a theater, and expecting an enthusias tic response. We can only share fully in each other’s joys and experi ences when we have equal access under the law to those joys and experiences. When gay and lesbian couples are free to access the rights and protections guaranteed in civil unions, we will be free to share fully in the joy of our heterosexual friends’ marriages. In this way, extending rights and protections to gay and lesbian unions supports heterosexual marriages as well. — Anya Schwartz Burlington

EQUAL ACCESS? I am writing in support of the Civil Unions bill. My partner Guen and I have been together as a lov ing, committed couple for eight years. Our friends and families (a mix of orthodox and conservative Jews, Christians, a Catholic nun, Democrats, Progressives' and Republicans) are very supportive of our relationship, and often refer to our love and friendship as a model for all couples. Yet without civil protections, no amount of support from my family and friends would guarantee that I could see Guen in the hospital. I could be losing my partner of eight years, my best

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Okay, picture this for a moment. It’s one year from today, April 19* 2001. Little Vermont is being splashed across the national media big-time. No, it’s not about the passage of the new civil unions bill. That was last year’s story. It’s 2001 now, and the story today is the devastat ing impact the new same-sex marriage law has had on life in Vermont as we once knew it. Turns out, it’s much, much worse than the Bingo Bishop, Rabid Randall Terry and Rep. Nancy “Gimme” Sheltra even imagined. “Traditional Marriage Under Attack — The Crisis in Vermont” is how CBS News slugs it, with a Desert Storm-type soundtrack in the background. And Dan Rather reports live from Montpeculiar, Vermont, with our gleaming golden dome over his shoulder: “The following report, I warn you,” says Dan, “contains some disturbing information and unsettling images that may not be suitable for all viewers. Viewer discretion is advised. “Good evening from Vermont, a small, usually quiet state, that has almost overnight turned into a frightening socialscience experiment gone awry. Since legislation passed the Vermont Legislature last year that extends all the legal benefits of civil marriage to same-sex cou ples, traditional marriage in BY P E T E Vermont has literally, like a cook ie, started to crumble. We begin with a report from Elizabeth Kaliden, live on the streets of Burlington.” “Yes, Dan, I’m standing on Cherry Street across from Filene’s, just outside Family Court. And that line you see behind me, snaking out the front door and up the block, is the proof that legalizing gay and lesbian unions has taken a mighty toll on thousands of traditional marriages in the Green Mountains. These people, Dan, all of them, are lining up to file for divorce and, the local police tell us, it’s been like this for weeks and the numbers keep growing.” ' “That’s incredible, Elizabeth. Are you sure it’s the same-sex marriage law that Vermont Gov. Howard Dean signed that caused all this?” “Absolutely, Dan. Admittedly, there are some rough edges, a little spousal abuse here, a little domestic violence there. Normally, in fact, about 50 percent of traditional marriages have been fail ing in Vermont as well as around the country. Most divorced people, however, remarry, so the jewelry business continues to thrive. But here in Vermont, Dan, we’re now finding that the divorce rate is suddenly escalating to 60, 70 and, as of 9 o’clock this morning, Dan, 79 percent of Vermont traditional marriages are failing. On the rocks. Down the drain. Kaput.” “That’s extraordinary, Elizabeth. Has the new governor, what’s her name?...” “Ruth Dwyer, Dan, Republican Ruth Dwyer.” “Yes, Ruth Dwyer. Has Gov. Dwyer called out the National Guard yet?” “Well, she’s thought of it, Dan, but unfortu nately for Gov. Dwyer, the Vermont Guard is sim ply unable to muster enough troops. That’s because the citizen soldiers are also affected by the civil-unions legislation, and several of the people behind me told us they were members of the guard, both men and women. They would not identify their units — just name, rank and serial numbers.” “Amazing, patriotism lives on.” “Right, Dan. And for the most part, these het erosexual victims were happily married up until last year. But then, as they say, something started to change in their traditional marriages. Something they had no control over. Some, Dan, were distraught and unable to compose themselves for even a brief interview. Others stared blankly into space. They couldn’t speak a word. It was like trying to interview victims of an atomic bomb blast a mile from ground zero. We remind you

once more, viewer discretion is advised. Now, in their own words.” Charlie Clark, Colchester — “Me and the wife had 32 years in. That’s 32 wonderful years. Two boys and a girl. A traditional marriage, you know. Christmas, Easter. Fourth of July and deer season. “But I’ll never forget the day Gov. Howard Dean, excuse me, former Gov. Howard Dean signed the bill. Something changed, overnight. I could feel it, you know? Down there. “Look, since the prostate surgery, I’d been tak ing the Viagra Falls pills — got ’em at half-price on one of those Bernie Sanders bus trips to Montreal. We even tried a little pot and played the old Dead albums. But the same-sex marriage thmg was always in the back of my mind. There’s just some thing about picturing two guys with their hands on the knife cutting the first slice of wed ding cake. “Hey, I’m a native Vermonter. My folks milked cows. We go to church. This was something bad, real bad, like the Interstate. The missus all of a sudden stopped wear ing the frillies to bed. Our love life went South overnight, if you know what I mean. It was the damn civil unions and Howard Dean and all them New Yorkers coming up here that did it, goddammit!” R FREY NE “Dan, Mr. Clark spoke for the vast majority of the people we talked to on the courthouse line in Burlington today. Some said they’ve been waiting in line sev eral days. The court system here and at courthous es across Vermont is being crushed by this phe nomenon. They’re all backed up. The state police have brought in porta-potties. And the Red Cross is providing food and medical services. But it’s a real disaster, Dan, and the new Vermont civilunion law for homosexual couples is getting the blame.” “Elizabeth, are you sure the new law is the cause of all this societal turmoil? As we used to say back when I led the media investigation of the Watergate scandal, where’s the smoking gun?” “It’s in their faces, Dan. Their hollow faces. The vast majority said their traditional Christian marriages simply could not withstand the devas tating impact the new civil-unions law brought with it. They blame the former Democratic gover nor. They blame the once Democrat-controlled legislature. They blame the supreme court. Some, Dan, even blame Bill Buckner.” Charity Aiken, Shelburne — “George and I were going on 25 years. We never had to deal with homosexuality before. I mean, he had an aunt who was a school teacher, but she kept it in her closet. They don’t have to wave it in everybody’s face. I mean, the Bible says what it says for a rea son other than selling books and making evangel ists rich, doesn’t it? “During the legislature, George had even gone down and testified to those people. He got two minutes. But they didn’t listen, he said. They were against God, he said. “A week later, instead of coming to bed, he’d stay down in the basement to all hours watching the tape of the 1986 Red Sox World Series deba cle. Over and over. That’s the one where Bill Buckner opened his legs just right for the grounder to get through. George started to miss work. And he started drinking. He’d never been a drinker before. And he’d be yelling at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night, awful things - like ‘Buckner, you’re a faggot!’ I was so scared I locked the bedroom door.” “Why didn’t you call the cops?” “He is a cop.” “Dan, just another frightening tale of what the controversial new Vermont same-sex marriage law has done. No one’s been spared.”

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Track

Inside Track continued on page 42

t e

156 Church S

Rite-Thinking Ruling

Cliffside Park, New Jersey, including a police sergeant and a volunteer firefighter, were charged with stealing furniture, a furnace and a car from the house of a dead man, then set ting the house on fire. • Daniel Fretes Ventre, Paraguay’s official anti-corrup tion chief, was charged with corruption. He is accused of blackmailing officials after his investigators uncovered evidence of their wrongdoing, then laun dering the money through a pri vate university that he owned.

A council for eastern Oslo announced it was taking a step toward religious freedom in Christian-dominated Norway by allowing a Muslim mosque to use a loudspeaker to broad cast a prayer call into the streets for three minutes every Friday, the Muslim holy day. The coun cil also ruled that atheists can use a megaphone to shout from a rooftop once a week that God does not exist.

Curses, Foiled Again

Overreaction When German traffic police stopped a 45-year-old man north of Frankfurt for going 80 miles per hour in a 63-mph zone, the driver approached the police car on foot and fired once, killing one officer and wounding a second officer in the arm. The driver, who was arrested the following month, explained he fired because he was afraid that he would lose his license if he accumulated any more penalty points for speed ing.

Whom Do You Trust?

G I V E

H E R

Pity Juan Valdez Colombia, the world’s sec ond-largest producer and exporter of coffee, announced that due to a poor crop it will have to import coffee beans next year to provide for its domestic consumption.

Gone But Not Forgotten

Brent Bailey, 19, boarded a bus in Pleasantville, New Jersey, pulled out a semiautomatic Glock pistol and began taking it apart and cleaning it. A passen ger who got off the bus notified the police, who arrested Bailey and discovered he was wanted for a parole violation.

When Sheila Johnson-Moore applied for a job with the Buffalo, New York, School District overseeing the districts grant program, she wore a loca tor bracelet on her ankle, and the U.S. Probation Service advised the district that she was on probation for embezzlement. She was hired, anyway, and in February pleaded guilty to diverting $26,000 in grant money for her own use. • Eight town officials in

admitted to the court in Metz, explaining his goal of killing to become famous stemmed from low self-esteem caused by his having been incontinent until he was a teenager.

Thwarted Ambition Pierre Navelot, 23, who told French authorities he aspired to become a serial killer, was arrest ed after murdering his first and only victim and sentenced to 30 years in jail. “You can’t live just being nobody at all,” Navelot

A nine-year-old boy in Memphis, Tennessee, lived with his mother’s corpse for a month, fixing his own meals and attending school every day, even cutting his own hair, because he was afraid that if anyone found out he would be put in a foster home. The boy covered her body with her coat and placed sheets of notebook paper over her face. * An elderly woman in Munich, Germany, lived at home with her 76-year-old husband lying dead in bed for four months after the man’s worried sister alerted police. The sister said the wife repeatedly told her the hus band did not want to see visi tors. • Police accused a 65-year-old woman in Ladson, South Carolina, of storing her 70-yearold roommate’s corpse in a

freezer in her garage for more than a year after he died of nat ural causes. Investigators said Wynema Faye Shumate con cealed the death so she could live off the man’s money. The incident came to light after Shumate posted some pictures on herself taken 30 years ago on the Internet and attracted a 28year-old man from Britain who came to the United States to marry her. She told her fiance about the body in the freezer, and he notified the police. • Russian workers discovered the skeleton of a man who had been dead for five years in a room in a Moscow communal apartment without the other

Condomi found that standardsized condoms fell off half the men surveyed, noting, “The average German penis is about 3.5 to 4 millimeters (0.13 to 0.15 inches) too narrow.”

Nomads, Go Home Hoping to curb crime by keeping adults from wandering the streets at night, the Cloverport, Kentucky, City Council passed a law forbidding anyone from being out between midnight and 5 a.m. without a destination.

Lucky Find British archaeologists discov ered an Egyptian sculpture from

nEWs QuiRkS

T H E

BY ROLAND SWEET

residents knowing he was there. Several families had rooms in the apartment, sharing a kitchen and bathroom, but nobody ever inquired what was going on in the room with the remains.

Teeny Weenies After the European Union established a standard size for condoms, a study concluded that it is often too big for German men. Focus magazine reported the study by the German condom maker

S H E ' L L

N E V E R

the 7th century BC depicting the Cushite King Taharqa. The priceless 3000-year-old stone was found in a storeroom in the basement of God’s House Tower, a museum in Southampton, England. “It was being used by museum atten dants to lean their bicycles against,” said Karen Wardley, curator of archaeological collec tions for the Southampton city council. “No one had a real clue about its value.” ©

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! Poem ° nM y ' B ir t h d a y Even now I hear it, sitting in my chair behind the comic page, intent on “One Day at a Tim e,” and someone says

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ome prodigies start really young. When Greg Douglass was two years old, his mother recalls, she knew her son was not like other tod dlers. “I was taking voice lessons and practicing Italian arias and he would imitate me,” Glory Douglass says. And whenever “The Waltons” theme song came on TV, Greg would try to sing along. “When it got too high or too low, he would drop or raise the octave. I thought, ‘This is not normal.’ A friend of mine told me kids don’t learn to sing in tune until second or third grade.” What Glory observed about her son has made widening rip ples in the music-community pool ever since. When he was seven, his music-teacher mom put him on stage at her school in Newport. Not long after, he won a talent contest at the Lamoille County Field Days — singing Bette Midlers “The Wind Beneath My Wings” — and was spotted by judge Bill Kinzie, a musician and producer. By fifth grade, Douglass was performing in a Menotti operetta, and went on to land roles in musical the ater all through middle and high school. He started writing his own songs at age 12. Now, at 19, Greg Douglass is in Kinzie’s Burlington studio working on his second full-length CD — the extraordinary I f I Were a Man came out when he was 17. In between the two he graduated from high school — Brewster Academy in Wolfborough, New Hampshire — moved to Burlington and has been play ing acoustic venues as far as Boston and New York. And you might say his first “international” success came this February, when he played with the Canadian cult-heroine Ferron. Douglass opened for the singer-songwriter in Montpelier and, as usual, sang his heart out. “After I played, I went out back and she gave me this huge hug and said, ‘You were wonderful — we don’t usually even listen to our opening acts,”’ Douglass marvels. Ferron continued to praise Douglass to her audience, with an anecdote about how someone had given her, years

ago, a tape of a then-unknown singer-songwriter; she listened and predicted the young woman was going to go far. T hat woman was Tracy Chapman. “I’d like to say the same thing about Greg Douglass,” Ferron told the crowd. Douglass is still in awe. “I don’t think I could ever experi ence something like that again,” he says. Oh, but he could, and he will. T hat’s because Greg Douglass possesses the voice of an angel — an angel in league with a devil, who conspires to seduce you with beauty. Its a rare voice that knows no limits, that can soar as high as a girl’s, demanding your breathless atten tion, then drop to a low growl, a sensual whisper. And then it demands even more. This is not a choirboy’s innocent voice; it’s an instrument that leapt into this world with knowledge, with a life of its own.

And if that’s not gift enough for one lifetime, Douglass com poses music, and lyrics, that can shatter your heart in a thousand pieces in one three-and-a-halfminute song. Jesus, you think. He’s only

19?

etermined to follow his self-taught path, Greg Douglass rejected the expert tutoring his mother offered — though he credits the “musician genes” from both par ents. His father Paul Douglass, who had been in a number of rock bands, and Glory divorced when Greg was eight or nine. Bill Kinzie, meanwhile, plucked Douglass out of that Northeast Kingdom talent show and con tinued to work with, and mentor him over the years. These days, Kinzie’s cramped studio, 2 much Media, is a tangle of cords and instruments

ouglass is feeling good these days, and it shows in his music. Somebody Else

PHOTO: MATTHEW THORSEN

attached to piles of digital equip ment, alternately in use for a bagel commercial and tracks for Douglass’ new CD. Even rough mixes reveal that Somebody Else is a giant step from I f I Was a Man. The debut project was a veritable tour de force for a 17-year-old, but the songs were, Douglass says, more about him, more introspective — though interest ingly they do not directly address his coming out as a gay man. “This new album is in a way from the perspective of other peo ple, hence the title,” Douglass says. Since he’s begun the life of a touring musician and settled into an independent life in Burlington, Douglass acknowl edges he’s learned to look out ward, at the rest of the world. “I tried living at home for a while to save money, but it didn’t work out,” he says. “I hated my home town, my own personal life, I didn’t feel good about myself. I sort of had an emotional break down, I guess...So I left and became this new person and had great experiences. Outside forces were moving to help me.” One of those “forces” is surely Kinzie, but he’s not the only one to nurture the young singer’s career. Jeff Miller, organizer of the Burlington Coffeehouse and a beloved mentor himself to the singer-songwriter crowd, met Douglass at 15. “He had long hair and looked like a typical kid,” recalls Miller. “But he per formed at an open mike at the coffeehouse and blew everyone away. He came back at age 17 and was already light years better than he was before...He won the Advance Music Acoustic Guitar Summit this year, too — he just dominated Since then, Douglass has per formed at the Coffeehouse and other local venues, often with Burlington singer-songwriter Katherine Quinn. Herself only a couple steps ahead of Douglass in a nascent music career, she’s become his good friend and occasional road buddy. “He approached me at one of my concerts and gave me his C D ,” she remembers, “and talked about touring together. We played a few times together, and hit it off musically and personal ly.” A shared love of singer Patty Griffin brought the two even closer. Soon, Douglass accompa nied Quinn on one of her “mini tours” as a roadie, and got up to play with her. “Then I went on one of his trips,” she says. /, Playing with Douglass has inspired her, vows Quinn. “He’s really into performing and ham ming it up; he gets into taking on the performance as a perform ance. And I’m kinda like just me. I’d take him anywhere I went,” she adds. “But we’re funny on the road: I pack my vegetarian food, my tofu and everything, and he wants to eat at Pizza Hut and drink chocolate milk — he’s still such a kid that way.”

IN THE KEY OF LIFE? Greg Douglass works on his new album in the studio

Like other soulful singers, . Douglass could transform ny ugly-duckling tune into a swan; nevertheless, his

azing you might expec k

rom one so young.

grandly bursts the myth that the best art is created by the miser able. Not that the new songs lack emotional depth, even sadness — one song, “Saying Goodbye,” is a shimmering paean to his step mother, who died last year. Douglass’ 17-year-old sister Gwen co-wrote the song, and sings with him on the CD. “It was the first song we wrote together, really straight from the heart,” he says. “I felt like it was channeled.” Channeling might help explain the unnerving power behind Douglass’ voice and his music. But he’s got some real-life inspirations as well — mostly female, idiosyncratic and highly independent singers. “Kate Bush blows my mind, it’s beyond me how much I love it,” Douglass says. “When I first heard it it freaked me out so much I wanted to burn it; I didn’t listen to it for another year.” The singer-songwriter and pianist Tori Amos was an easier infatuation — in fact Douglass’ impassioned performances and vocal agility have been compared to hers. “Tori has been a prime inspiration, not necessarily for what she stands for, but just that she stands,” Douglass enthuses. “You can almost taste her vagina

through her music, it’s so inti mate.” You can’t peg Douglass’ shiv ery intensity quite that way, but as a male singer, he could also be compared to the remarkable, uniquely visionary Jeff Buckley. Douglass discovered the late singer only after he was refer enced in a review of I f I Were a Man. “I’ve recently started getting away from my female bias,” he concedes with a laugh. “Letting Peter Gabriel into my zone was a huge step.” His own worst critic, Douglass admits he’s equally judgmental of other artists, and can’t abide musicians with no tal ent. He won’t name names — and he’s not terribly familiar with the Burlington music scene because he’s too young to get into clubs. Douglass is more likely to say whom he respects — like the guys playing on his new record ing: Burlington guitarist Kip Meaker, keyboardist Brian Bull and, of course, Kinzie, the “coolest producer” and drummer. Then there’s another boy wonder, a 17-year-old fiddler from Canaan named Patrick Ross, whose brilliant playing adds a hauntingly gorgeous layer to

But I’m much more concerned some of Douglass’ new songs. with making the music feel like Asked what he finds beautiful, that’s what it’s about...I’ll write Douglass is taken aback, roused the words for what the music even by his gut reaction to the makes me feel. question. With stammering, “This is sort of a recent con stream-of-consciousness stabs at clusion, because so many people defining beauty, Douglass finally have said they really like my decides, “W hat moves me the lyrics,” Douglass continues. “It’s most, what’s most important — I shocking to me.” guess truth...anything that’s con W hat’s not shocking is how at trolling one the most are emo ease the young musician-whotions. That’s what is real. I think doesn’t-know-anything is in the that’s what channels through my studio. While he “lives to per music and the music that inspires form,” Douglass has an instinc me.” tive, almost visceral grasp of creat Not that it seems to be a prob lem, but Douglass claims he “does ing and mixing tracks. “It’s been really clear; I really know what’s n’t know anything.” When other right or not,” he says. “A tear will musicians talk to him about come to my eye and I’ll know, equipment, technical terms, even chords, it doesn’t compute. Finally, that’s it I But not surprisingly, some tunes work out immediately he’s starting to get curious about and others arrive by trial and music theory — his mother may be amused to hear — but simulta error. Douglass applauds Kinzie’s equanimity during the errors. “He neously is growing comfortable really can look at the most frus with his own self-taught ways. trating situation and say, ‘Okay, “A friend told me I really love we don’t have it, we’ll get it later,”’ paradox,” Douglass says. “For the he notes. “We’re both perfection past year I’ve tried to compare ists about what we want to hear... myself to others and wonder who I feel I’ve been brutally honest I am, what my style is. I’ve recent about what / want to hear. ly let that go.” Sometimes we differ, but I’ll “It’s an evolution and a matu always win if I feel strongly about ration thing,” Kinzie says of Douglass and his work on the new something. He’s really openminded.” CD. “He stepped out from doing For his part, Kinzie seems to this on his own to making a larger take the role of facilitator, gently, statement — although all these yes, channeling the wellspring of songs work fine solo, too. I think genius flowing from this other the whole deal of collaboration wise normal, funny, lively kid in and band, this being a place to his studio. “There will be a band step off into the world from, is someday,” he predicts. “It won’t what it’s all about.” It’s a surprise to learn that - be with us old farts, but this will words are the last thing Douglass be a template — there are players thinks about when composing — both here and in New York who especially when seeing an. audience; are interested.” tear up with emotion is one of his “I’m so paranoid people won’t greatest joys and honors. Like like me,” Douglass worries. About other soulful singers, Douglass Somebody Else, though, he adds, “I could transform any ugly-duckling feel deep down people will like it. I hope the people who thought I tune into a swan; nevertheless, his was too serious and lame before are not throw-away lyrics, nor the will think, ‘He’s not into himself self-obsessed' navel-gazing you as much as I thought.’ I hope it’s might expect from one so young. more fun.” -\ „ , . " , “The first thing is the music, “We’re planning on success,” all the way,” Douglass says. “I’ll Kinzie concludes. “This is not a definitely focus on a topic if I’m writing a song abqu£ say^abu^e., .

S ogeq

april 19, 2000

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PHOTO: MATTHEW THO RSEN

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maftagerTof' AMFM, Inc. ’- a- r ' which pwns^ WXPS and fptir (A other area stations — Says she’s “pretty psyched about...filling a niche that hasn’t been there. The response has been great.” She cites one caller who reportedly said he’d listened to smooth jazz in Oregon, California and Massachusetts, and was glad to finally hear the same sound here.: Marshall calls that sound — a fusion of jazz, new-age acousti cal and new adult contemporary styles — “relaxing music for aging baby boomers.” WXPS’ playlists, like the format itself, are built by careful market analy sis of what’s construed to be “listenable” — common practice throughout the radio industry today. “Most jocks are not pick ing their own sounds,” Marshall says. “All that stuff is pretty fine ly tuned.” To the ratings-driven media exec, “smooth jazz” may be jazz. But to a jazz fan, is it rea lly jazz? Not on your life. Jazz is the feel of a smoky, after-midnight club; smooth jazz is what happens when your insurance agent puts you on hold. Jazz stirs the blood and stretches the mind. Smooth jazz is the sonic equivalent of Novocaine. “I listened to it for about five minutes and I almost threw up,” says Eric Leff, a jazz deejay on the University of Vermont’s stu dent-run station WRUV (90.1). “It’s fluff.” Leff’s fellow deejay at WRUV, L.J. Palardy, compares

smooth jazz listening to going AA WXPS’ new format is likely to think they don’t like jazz. O r (104.7) Sunday nights fre ,^ into a Chiriese restaurant and : sjnake listeners wonder where midnight for the last decade or they think jazz is all inaccessible pork.:tTey rnight find some real jazz so. Though host Lou D ’Antosax solos. A lot of people who “People aren’t really listening to on their dials. The good news is nios tastes closely parallel hear late Coltrane run away it,” he suggests. “It’s background that the region is radio-rich with screaming, and frankly, I don’t Charnoff s, his show has a looser, - ■ music.” jazz offerings. It’s just a matter of blame them.” more intimate feel. D ’Antonio A"; Long-time local jazz deejay tuning into the right place at the ' • Charnoff has made a con- 7 comes across like a gregarious, Ed Bemis, at WWPV (88.7) is right time, scions decision not to play W good-natured uncle who’s come more emphatic. “That’s disgustAfter WXPS, the easiest jazz Ornette Coleman or Eric y to visit — and brought along his ing,” he asserts of smooth jazz. radio to locate — and listen to Dolphy, or anything avant-garde incredible jazz collection. on VPR. He also steers clear of Y The 63-year-old New Jersey smooth jazz. “I don’t consider ; native was exposed to jazz very that jazz,” the deejay says. early, when his mother, a piano W hat you will hear on his player, pulled him out of ele show is a pleasant blend of mentary school to hear Woody often-familiar pieces by musi Herman, Arty Shaw and Benny cians like Oscar Peterson, Lester Goodman playing in Newark Young and Joshua Redmond, as and New York City. D ’Antonio well as newer artists who per speaks with feeling about the form in the area — such as the “epiphany” of hearing Miles Grammy-winning Diana Krall, Davis in 1956, and the thrill of who played to a sold-out Flynn witnessing an impromptu giveTheatre last week. Charnoff and-take between Thelonious mixes in plenty of female vocal Monk and Charles Mingus at ists, such as Ella Fitzgerald, the Village Vanguard. Abbey Lincoln and Joni Mitchell He speaks with equal passion in her latest jazz incarnation. about what he puts on the air. Charnoff’s greatest satisfac O n one recent broadcast, he tion comes, he says, from the lis played Krall singing “Let’s Fall in teners who call him up and say, Love,” then remarked, “I wish But Bemis concedes that Charnoff plays music that falls “I don’t like jazz, but I like your they’d get rid of those stupid even pabulum has its place. solidly within the jazz idiom and show.” To make that happen, he strings. W ho needs the strings? Maybe, he speculates optimisti is guaranteed not to turn off the strives to keep things moving — The people at Verve? They know cally, people who get started public station’s contributing lis but without being too jarring. better, don’t they?” with easy-to-swallow smooth jazz teners Monday through “If you don’t like what you’re Later, D ’Antonio launched will move on to more toothsome Thursday from 8 until 10, and hearing,” he suggests, “wait 10 into another tirade about Al music. But this is probably not on Fridays until midnight. minutes.” i Jolson stealing the song “Avalon” '-U7H 'A'A the outcome Marshall has in Though Charnoff says manage from an aria in Puccini’s Tosca. mind when she calls smooth jazz ment gives him free rein over his “If you get a chance,” the deejay “music for listeners who want to playlist, he aims for the broadest similar variety of musical suggested, “read the English continue to grow their musical possible audience. “Jazz is a offerings can be heard on translation of the libretto. It’s taste.” tough sell,” he points out. “Jazz Spectrum,” a show If it does nothing else, “Generally speaking, people that has aired on The Point Continued on page 12

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marvelously poignant.” Then he played Benny Goodman’s version of “Avalon,” followed by Grover Washington playing the original aria. Back on the air, he asked his listeners rhetorically, “So, did you hear it? Aw, come on. You’re gonna be on the other side of this, aren’t you?” D ’Antonio says he enjoys independence in programming, and is guided by his own taste. Rehashing a conversation with his program director, he recalls, “I said to Greg Hooker, ‘I look at the popularity charts. I can’t fig ure out why you haven’t fired me yet. I don’t play any of that stuff.’ And he said, ‘Lou, that’s why we haven’t fired you.’” “Jazz at the Tenspot,” which airs Saturday nights from 10 until midnight on New York’s North Country Public Radio

“Who’s that man? He thinks He’s a prophet. I wonder if H e’s got something up his sleeve? Where’s He from, and who is His daddy? I here are rumors He even thinks Himself a king o f a kingdom o f paupers, simpletons and rogues. The whores all seem to love Him and the drunks propose a toast. They say surely God is with us... Was He so had? Who did He threaten? Did He deserve to die between two thieves?” - Rich Mullins from THE JESUS RECORD This Easter Sunday join DAYBREAK COMMUNITY CHURCH as we explore the man Jesus, His life, how He influenced history, and most important, how He impacts life today.

s -'M-m/

alongside pieces that stray from the jazz idiom, like Tom Waits’ “Eggs ’n’ Sausage” and Marcia Ball’s r&b-flavored “Red Beans.” Leff’s show is one of several jazz-format programs scattered throughout WRUV’s schedule. The station requires all deejays to play at least 25 percent new releases — part of an effort to expose the audience to new and emerging artists, and the neces sary threshold for receiving free CDs from record companies. Beyond that, however, hosts are left to their own devices. Ten-year station veteran and life-long jazz listener L.J. Palardy takes the Sunday morning slot. Like D ’Antonio, he’s proud of his free-flowing format. “I have trouble deciding what the first song will be,” he remarks, “but then I fly by the seat of my pants. Basically, I mentally pic ture inviting some friends over to my house and saying, ‘Here’s

/‘There’s a huge

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Kids through third grade are invited to our Spring Easter Egg Hunt, beginning at 11:30am. Bring your family and invite your friends. Refreshments and fun will be on hand for everyone. D on’t forget your baskets, we’ve got plenty o f eggs.

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Dam n Yankees: auditions for 4 women and 8 men - ages 20+ All My Sons: auditions for 4 women and 6 men - ages 22+ Many M oons: auditions for 1 woman, 5 men & 1 narrator - ages 12+ School Performances at Phillips Experimental Theater at Adamant Music School D a m n Y a n k e e s : Ju ly 1 4 -1 6 A ll M y S o n s : Ju ly 2 8 -3 0 M any M o o n s: A u g u s t 1 1 -1 3 .

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page 12

SEVEN DAYS

april 19, 2000

6T ADAMAN MUSIC SCHOOL

F H

I^^C^Tet^tershoiy ^ ^ P “ S lg n a l to N oise” (88.3), feels as cozy as cuddling up with a friend in an Adiron dack camp. Unlike D ’Antonio, host Guy Berard — a visual artist who teaches at SUNY Canton — carefully crafts his shows in advance. And he crams them chock-full of clever themes and whimsical chit-chat. On April 1, for example, Berard played Eric Dolphy doing “April Fool,” Roy Hargrove’s “April’s Fool” and “A Day in the Life of a Fool,” by Al Grey. His second set featured Art Farmer, Stan Getz, John Coltrane and Richie Cole performing songs about rain. In addition to theme sets, every Berard show includes sever al interpretations of a single stan dard, works by artists whose birthdays occur during the week and cuts from a featured new recording. Theme sets are also big with Leff, who hosts “Melodious Funk” Tuesday mornings from 6 to 9 on WRUV. He’s been known to devote his entire two hours to nothing but songs about food, serving up Redmond’s ren dition of “Salt Peanuts” and Anita O ’Day’s “Peanut Vendor,”

something you should listen to.’” That could be almost any thing. Though Palardy is mainly into jazz, his show also embraces international music, blues, folk, hip-hop and funk. “I have big ears,” he puts it. “I come from the Duke Ellington school of music: ‘If it sounds good, it is good.’ I’ll listen to literally any kind of music.” Is anyone else listening with him? Palardy thinks so. “People call and say, ‘Holy shit! W hat is that song? I’ve got to go out and get that,’” he reports. But his greatest compliment, he says, was prompted by a letter complain ing that the music he played was too unconventional. The note was posted on the bulletin board, and other deejays added their comments — including one who wrote, “We need more letters like this.” Perhaps the most experi enced local jazz deejay is Ed Bemis, who can be heard Tuesday evenings from 5 to 8 on the St. Michael’s College sta tion, WWPV. Bemis, 71, has taught jazz history at UVM. Because he doesn’t have a dri-

ver’s license, he either takes the bus or walks the three miles from his Burlington home to the Colchester studio. Softvoiced and slow-speaking, Bemis favors the cutting-edge. “I want to expose people to things that are good and that they might want to hear,” he says. The tones you’ll hear on his show — growling trombones, inflections that mimic street cries and field hollers, trumpets that crack into falsetto “doights,” overblown notes — are not aber rations, as many people claim, but natural extensions of black church music and the blues, Bemis points out. “I try and tell people about that and get them used to those sounds. People seem to be receptive.” Bemis plays long, thoughtprovoking sets built around extended excursions like Coltrane’s far-out, spiritual offer ings from the mid-’60s, as well as more simply beautiful work by artists like Cecil Taylor and Sun Ra. And every Bemis show includes at least one cut — say, by Bill Evans or Ben Webster — dedicated to the missus, whom he always refers to as “my beauti ful wife, Anne.” For all Bemis’ emphasis on experimental work, his program is not Burlington’s farthest-out jazz radio. That distinction belongs to 27-year-old Pete Gershon, host of W RUV’s “Signal to Noise,” Wednesdays from 2 to 4 p.m. Launched just two months ago, the show is . associated with Gershon’s bimonthly music journal and a nonprofit promotion company. In recent months, Signal to Noise has brought local electro acoustic sound manipulators Tom Lawson and Clark Russell to a 40-seat performance space behind the Cheese Outlet on Pine Street, and the Die Like a Dog Trio, led by German reed player Peter Brotzmann, to the Flynn On-Stage Series. Gershon pushes the jazz envelope so far that he doesn’t even call his format “jazz,” but “improvised and experimental music.” His mission: to connect more listeners with the “great, vital music happening these days.” Gershon believes that the potential audience for all sorts of experimental music is much broader than most people assume. “There’s a huge audience of kids who are into Phish and Grateful Dead who would love this stuff,” he argues. Gershon’s assessment of today’s jazz scene sets him in stark contrast with the suits over at AMFM, Inc. “Smooth jazz,” Marshall insists, “is contempo rary jazz.” Like everyone else putting jazz on the radio, Gershon and Marshall believe their fare is musically uplifting. Listeners can decide for them selves whether they’d rather reach those aural altitudes the hard way — by actively tackling chal lenging music — or simply step ping into an elevator. ®

“w

r it e

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Seven

UVM C o n t in u in g

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E m e r g in g

W r it e r s

C o m p e t it io n and the D iv e r sity of Vermont Continuing Education are pleased to announce the fourth annual competition for emerging%/riters in short fiction . Seven Days

D e a d lin e f o r e n t r ie s : F r id a y , M ay 1 2 , 2 0 0 0 M a il m a n u s c r ip t s to E m e r g in g W r it e r s , S e v e n D a y s , PO B 1 1 6 4 , B u r lin g t o n , V T 0 5 4 0 2

THE WINNING STORY w i l l be the cover fe a tu re in the S e v e n D ays Summer F ictio n Issue June 28, 2000, and w i l l receive a cash p rize of $250. 1st and 2nd runners-up w i l l be acknowledged in the issue, and published i f space allows.

R u le s :

"Em erging W riters" are defined as anyone 18 or older who has published no more than three pieces of fiction in a newspaper, m agazine or literary journal, and has published no books. Entran ts m ust be Verm ont residents, or attending school in Vermont at the tim e of this com petition. "Sh o rt Fiction" in this com petition is defined as a short story, or an excerpt from a larger work if it stands on its own as a story. The length should not exceed 4 0 0 0 words.

5. 6.

All entrants will be judged anony m ously by m em bers of the Seven Days staff and an esteem ed panel of Vermont writers. M anuscripts should be typed and double-spaced. Please include a cover page with your name, address and phone number. Do not put your name on the other pages. Sto ries chosen as winners will need to be received in electronic form or on disc as well. M anuscripts will not be returned. Do not send originals. One entry per writer.

Em ployees of Seven Days and the UVM Continuing Ed departm ent, and fam ily m em bers thereof, as well as fam ily m em bers of the judges, are disgualified from entering th is com petition.

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SEVEN DAYS

page 13

An acclaimed music writer turns up between rock and a new place

Boy Island An excerpt — in which band leader David Lowery is pressed, after a gig, to explain the breakup o f Camper Van ■Beethoven, while guitarist Johnny Hickman and a bassist named Pete Sosdring linger distractingly close. This writer guy from the student union wanted an interview for the school paper. David Lowery told the band to finish, load-out while .he followed the writer guy back around to the faculty lounge, took a seat among the remnants of their deli tray, chewed

Camden Joy with Ella By Pamela P olston he funny thing is, Camden Joy says he doesn’t really want to write about music anymore. Doesn’t care about it like he used to. But the 36-year-old writer — who moved to Montpelier last summer — cared with a vengeance long enough to earn eyebrow-raising accolades. “One of the greatest rock writers of our age,” gushed Rolling Stone. The other funny thing is, most of his rock writing was in the form of posters — plastered throughout the streets of New York City in the mid-’90s — and “mani festos” that combined rants and criticism and not-alwaysin-touch-with-reality semi-factual fictions. Joy, a So-Cal native by way of Seattle, New York and Boston, calls this stage “a strange maze of subjectivity in which unreliability prevails, pop celebrities loom like primi tive gods, and moral decisions arrive through snippets of songs.” Sarah Vowell of the on-line magazine Salon excerpts his praise of the band Pavement in her 1997 essay on the “part-crank, part-critic” guerrilla polemicist: One o f his more famous postings asked', in all-caps and felttip pen, “the American President o f the United States and all them U.S. trade reps to haul Pavement to the trade talks, they are our grandest export, our finest product, infusible in hot weather, our best materials, Pavement should be carried on our shoulders and emblazoned on our backs and ushered unto waiting planes at the last minute and with an almost effete, deliberate importance, their bellies bloated with our very best meats. ”

Continued on page 19

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OUT OF THE BOX Lou Kannenstine, left, with Raphe Malik, Cody Moffett and Cecil McBee B y R ichard M ayer hen Woodstock resi dent Lou Kannenstine talks about his entry into the world of avant-garde jazz production, the moment he describes has all the earmarks of a free-jazz performance — spon taneity, improvisation, a leap into the unknown. W ith a sparkle in his eye that is equal parts mirth and self-effacement, he describes the decision to embark on a third career at age 60. Slight of build, soft-spoken, and looking much younger than his age, Kannenstine reveals, “It happened in a split second.” The former academic-turnedbook publisher had retired “for about a m inute” when he became involved in a local pro duction, a collaboration between Vermont poet David Budbill and New York jazz bassist William Parker. The performance, called Zen Mountains Zen Streets, fea tures Budbill’s poetry and deals with his life of solitude in the mountains of Vermont. Parker accompanies the reading with improvisation on double bass and a host of exotic instruments. Kannenstine had published several of Budbill’s books, but was unaware that he and Parker, whose work Kannenstine admired, were friends. Budbill and Parker performed Zen Mountains Zen Streets a number of times during the fall of 1998 and documented their efforts on digital audio tape. Both the poet and the bassist were pleased with the results, and they asked Kannenstine if he knew of any one who might be interested in producing the performances on CD. “Yes, me,” Kannenstine declared, and with that Boxholder Records was born. Headquarters for Boxholder is a cubbyhole office on the second floor of Kannenstine’s lovely Woodstock farmhouse, a home he shares with his wife, artist Margaret Lampe Kannenstine. Supportive of her husband’s new vocation, she says, T m thrilled with Lou’s venture into jazz

record production. Going with him to all the club gigs, concerts and festivals has inspired my continuing series of paintings of musicians at work.” Margaret was responsible for the name Boxholder, which sug gests the rural address of the company. “I came up with Rural Route Records originally,” her husband says with a smile, “but as you can see it was a bit cum bersome. I was also looking for something without any hidden meanings, something straightfor ward that I wouldn’t have to

project, for example, the rough recordings had already been made. So production involved taking the DATs to Chuck Eller’s Studio in Charlotte for editing, mixing and mastering. On other projects Kannenstine is apt to oversee the record ing process, which may be in the studio or live in concert. In either case, he’s responsible for post-production, promotion and distribution. “I’m a sort of a midwife,” he sums up. The financial rewards of pro ducing art music are apt to be

Trumpeter and composer Raphe Mali :alls Kannenstine a model of erudition and espectfulness.

explain.” The couple moved to Vermont from New York in 1980. Lou Kannenstine was a part-owner and editor of Countryman Press in Woodstock and also started Foul Play Press, a publisher of mystery novels. Prior to 1980 he taught English at New York University, where he had gotten his doctorate, then moved on to Baruch College, City University of New York. In the late 1970s he wrote a book about an avant-garde author from the ’30s; Djuna Barnes: Duality and Damnation was pub lished by NYU Press. Though he had never even set foot in a recording studio, Kannenstine brought to his new career many skills from the world of book publishing, as well as a passion for creative improvisational music. As producer, his duties vary from one project to the next. On the Budbill-Parker

modest, yet Kannenstine’s clients are confident in his abilities to make Boxholder viable. With the label just winding up its first year in operation, it’s too soon to tell, though Budbill reports that Zen Mountains Zen Streets is selling briskly, and should break even within six months. Acknowledg ing his old friend’s skill as a book publisher, he adds, tongue-incheek, “I’m delighted that Lou has decided to lose more money.”

annenstine’s passion lor jazz goes deep, to his formative years. Growing up in Houston, Texas, he was drawn to the so-called “race records” of artists like “Big Mama” Thornton and her con temporaries, and later to New Orleans traditional jazz, which at the time was enjoying a revival. But even then he was curious

Label With

a Cause

Vermont-based Boxholder Records gets into a joyful jam about more experimental artists, like Moondog and Harry Partch, two American composers who explored unconventional sounds and instruments. Kannenstine also lauds the music of the quirky novelty bandleader Spike Jones, “whose absolute disrespect for everything kept his music fresh.” Budbill observes that “very few people have the breadth oi taste that Lou has.” For his part, Kannenstine is quick to note that he likes mainstream jazz as well as the truly improvisational fare that is free jazz. He sees both styles as part of a continu um, with the free players always taking the music a bit farther out, always pushing the enve lope. It’s this adventure of dis covery that he finds moving. Kannenstine says he likes the sense of not knowing where the music is going next, though he thinks it generally works better if there’s some implicit structure within which the experimenting takes place. A gentle and tolerant man, Kannenstine recognizes without prejudice that this music is not for everyone, that the very thing that makes it appealing to its devotees is what others might find disturbing. “Most people won’t sit still for open improvisa tion,” he concedes. Recognizing this limiting factor from a busi ness standpoint, small labels such as Boxholder routinely press only 1000 to 2000 copies of each new release for world wide distribution. According to trumpeter and composer Raphe Malik, whose CD Storylines was released on Boxholder last month (see review this issue), Kannenstine is a very special producer. Well known in free-jazz circles, partic ularly from his association with pianist Cecil Taylor, Malik calls Kannenstine a model of erudi tion and respectfulness. The Guilford resident says he’s grate ful for the atmosphere of com plete artistic freedom Kannenstine provided him on the Storylines project, which is

hardly the norm in his experi ence. Unlike the live Zen Mountains Zen Streets, Malik’s project was conceived and exe cuted at Gary Henry’s Northern Track Recording Studio in W ilmington, Vermont. The ses sion features 10 of Malik’s com positions, played with the stellar Cecil McBee on bass and Cody Moffett on drums. With Kannenstine’s support and the high level of musicianship on his recording, Malik is optimistic about Storylines’ potential. Trumpeter Keith Hedger, who with Kannenstine co-produced another March release, eponymously titled KONK, like wise sings Kannenstine’s praises. “I would work with Lou and Boxholder again in a minute, and I hope I have the chance in the future,” he says. The Bostonbased KONK — with Hedger on trumpet, free-play luminary Charlie Kohlhase on saxophones, Nate McBride on bass and Curt Newton on drums — played their intuitive brand of music for five hours in the studio, later bringing the tapes to Boxholder for packaging and final CD pro duction. It’s noteworthy that the quar tet session was somewhat of a reunion with the return of Hedger, who had relocated to Florida for several years. KONK went into this jam without so much as a sketch of what they might play, with one exception: a deconstructed version of the Charlie Parker classic “Au Privave,” one of many delightful moments on this highly inven tive session. (KONK will per form in Burlington May 5 at Signal to Noise on Pine Street.) Grand Marquis features the explorations of saxophonist Joe McPhee, an institution on the international free-jazz scene with a discography of more than 50 recordings, and Boston drummer Johnny McLellan, a member of the Charlie Kohlhase Quintet. Their session is a good example

Continued on page 18

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Label With a Cause Continued from page 17 of the now-ness that is free improvisation; the two musicians had never played a note together until the tape began to roll. The result is an unedited musical conversation that begins tentatively and becomes more adventurous. These four releases represent the impressive output of Boxholder’s _____________________________ ________ first year. According to Kannenstine, the word-of-mouth is good about the fledgling label in the community of free-players and their fans, a fairly insular subculture. He expects to reach his goal of 13 to 15 releases by mid2001. On tap are new projects from Bill Cole’s Untempered Ensemble, a duet project with Charlie Kohlhase and M att Langley and a trio record ing of Ken Vandermark’s Tripleplay. Other plans include increasing international distribution and regional store contacts. Kannenstine currently mar kets his wares on-line through North Country Distribution in New York, and personally calls on a handful of specialty music stores throughout New England and New York. He is shopping for a distributor in Europe, which a significant mar ket for improvisa tional music. Already, Kannenstine doesn’t need to go begging for artists. “I could stay in bed and have more than I could die,” he jokes. “There are many great avantgarde players out there and not enough people to record them. I have no lofty agenda, but these people deserve to be heard.” Lofty or not, it’s important work, docu menting the artistry of players outside the main stream. Since about 1980, there’s been a resurgence of interest in jazz, but the musical climate has been conserva tive. With major jazz labels marketing their artists in the same way that the industry promotes pop stars, the more adventurous artists are less likely to get contracts. Kannenstine doesn’t hold his clients to exclusive contracts, recognizing that these artists need to play and record as much as they can. ' In the tradition of patrons such as John and Alan Lomax, Frederic Ramsey and Charles Smith and John Hammond Sr., whose efforts assured a place in music history for the recordings of Leadbelly, Bunk Johnson and Billie Holiday, among others, Lou Kannenstine is making tracks in the right direction. ®

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Continued from page 18 That was then. This is now. And at the dawn of the new mil lennium, Camden Joy — a pseu donym, by the way, which he uses in real life — has two novels under his belt. His first was the sprawling, fact-colliding-with-fiction The Last Rock Star Book Or, Liz Phair: A Rant — which Publishers Weekly called “bril liant.” The title itself suggested that Joy couldn’t make up his mind between documentary and diatribe. Actually, it is neither; you can call it a novel, as he and his publisher did, but it estab lished something a little more idiosyncratic in the world of writ ing. Joy’s sophomore effort, Boy Island, released last month, fur ther develops his unique way of blending real people with imag ined circumstances, and vice versa. Joy also inserts himself — or a character named Camden Joy — into both books. In Boy Island he is a drummer on tour with the real-life band Cracker, following the demise of band leader David Lowery’s earlier band, Camper Van Beethoven. The tale charts the rock band on the road, with increasing disenchantment. In the immediate background is the Gulf War, the grim, plastic land scape of America, and what can only be called the ever-present absence of a dead brother. O f course; we can’t reveal here the' shard of redemption Boy Island offers in the end. “The first book took me a couple of months to write and this one took five years,” says Joy with characteristic self-efface ment. “Some people are telling me they liked the first one bet ter.” A former frontman in two bands of his own — of the garage-punk and faux-couraxy variety — Joy knows well the highs and lows of rock stardom, or lack thereof. At this point, with a lawyer wife, a dog and a day job in Montpelier, he’s not even going out much, never mind wailing on-stage. But don’t expect any end to the torrent of Joy-ful language; for one thing, he was part of NPR’s “This American Life” program on Frank Sinatra just last week — Joy’s commen tary was about being in a Turkish restaurant and watching O f Blue Eyes in The Manchurian Candidate. But the writer admits he has n’t started another novel yet, and he’s frustrated by sparse atten dance at his last round of regional readings. “But being aware of what young bands go through,” he says, “this is nothing. Besides, the distribution afforded by a major publisher allows him to achieve a cherished ambition: “Libraries are sort of my secret goal,” Joy confesses. “When you have the distribution that gets you into libraries, that’s it. You’re in the circulation.” ®

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SEVEN DAYS

page 19

- \:x-r. •

Orchestra, Eleanor Long knows all the parts

A t the Vermont Symphony

B y P aula R outly here was a lot of handwringing in local classical music circles when Kate Tamarkin stepped down last year as conductor of the Vermont Symphony Orchestra. The public is inclined to believe it’s the per son behind the podium who makes it all happen harmonious ly. In fact, the most crucial player at the VSO is not the maestro — or anyone else on stage, for that matter. It’s Eleanor Long. For 25 years, the former oboist has per fected a solo administrative act that, if properly publicized, would steal the show. “My predecessor once said Eleanor Long is the Vermont Symphony, and in many ways that is right,” says Executive Director Alan Jordan. To the

Department of Motor Vehicles she is, too — her license plate reads “VSO.” For the last quar ter-century, Long has been in charge of auditioning, contract ing and managing the players who are the symphony sound source. She is also the librarian, in charge of procuring and dis tributing music to players through the mail. “In other orchestras, these would be separate jobs,” Tamarkin reports from the road in Texas. “That should tell you something.” Furthermore, when she is not proofreading program copy, Long scripts, schedules and coordinates all the school con certs the symphony stages around the state. “Eleanor has an amaz ing ability to do a million things at once, and keep track of myriad details,” Tamarkin continues.

“She is also the person who remembers all the birthdays — small things that bring meaning to other people. You could call her the emotional core of the organization.” O r the institutional memory. In tenure terms, Long has already lived up to her name — after her, the next-most senior full time employee at the VSO has been there all of three years. Long was there for the Fiery reign of conductor Efrain Guigui. She was on the job when Executive Director Morris Block died in a canoeing accident on Lake Champlain in 1986. Recently, when the symphony lost its con ductor, executive director and marketing coordinator in rapid succession, Long soldiered on, , assisting as de facto executive director until Jordan learned the

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job. In March, the symphony rec ognized its most enduring employee by announcing the endowment of an orchestral posi tion in her name — a rare honor considering her age. Long is 48. In this case, the “chair” is a real one, occupied by the second oboist, Julie Verret. Long sat in that very spot for 16 years before she gave up her instrument to work exclusively in the wings. “That’s where Eleanor likes to be,” says Jordan, noting his “humble” orchestra manager is easily embarrassed. “What mat ters most to her is the final prod uct — the performance.”

ong grew up in a family of amateur musicians in South Burlington, when Spear Street was an unpaved road and suburban Burlington was still considered “country.” Her par ents remained on the property — a red farmhouse with adjoin ing apple orchard that is the clos est thing to a farm between Allen Road and Swift Street. Long’s father Littleton played bassoon in high school. Her mother Carolyn played violin seriously in college, but after four children, followed her muse to the Vermont Youth Orchestra. She “fell into” the manager job in 1968 and, at 81, is still in charge. There was no television grow ing up in the Long household,

and Eleanor, the second-oldest of four children, remembers music was always playing — “some folk, but mostly classical. I remember my brother and I playing marbles and listening to Beethoven’s Violin Concerto. It was our favorite piece.” That brother had already taken up the flute when Eleanor got “bitten by the bug” at age

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SEVEN DAYS

page 21

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Musical Chair

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about making reeds — a Sisyphean task visited on obses sive oboists — but perhaps as a result of the constant toil she developed a strong work ethic. “It might take an hour to make a reed you can play on, but to have it settle in and be something you want to use for a concert might take 10 hours,” Long notes. Describing herself as “rela tively normal, as oboists go,” Long says her mother helped her out with reed-making, “which was kind of amazing,” she acknowledges. “When you’re in high school, and an overachiever and all that, you’re just so out straight.” Long was valedictorian of her class at South Burlington High. She continued to play at Brown University, in the orches tra and various chamber music ensembles. But instead of major ing in music, she went for a degree in English, figuring, “if I took courses in music it would destroy my love of it” — a theo ry she later amended. In her sen ior year, she auditioned for the Vermont Symphony and scored the second oboe seat. Relying on

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home is where the seven days is home on earth issue: may 3

page 22

SEVEN DAYS

april 19, 2000

that I would be at the bottom of the heap, which, as it turned out, was not true,” Long says. She got into every ensemble she audi tioned for, including the Tri-City Symphony based in Davenport. W ith a masters in music, Long returned to Vermont in 1979 to reclaim her seat with the symphony, and to marry the principal oboist, who had once

“Most symphonies have a , conductor and a board, but they don’t have a soul. L his one does.” — violinist Hilary Hatclr

M KK HOW S

been her teacher. The symphony personnel manager was leaving at the time, and so was the librari an. Long took on both jobs and soon was working full-time in the office. Though the marriage ended, for years Long juggled performing, teaching and arts administration, striving for per fection in every area. “To work all those hours, and make reeds and practice and per form, was just too much,” she says. “I took a year off from playing just to see what it was like to have a normal life. I have to say I really enjoyed it.” She never went back on stage. Long’s musical dues, howev er, were paid as far as the players were concerned. “She is one of us. She has sat there, which gives her a perspective that is absolute ly invaluable, and unusual,” says Orwell-based Hilary Hatch, a 17-year violin veteran with the symphony. Describing Long as a “musicians musician,’ Hatch insists “Eleanor has a fabulous attitude toward other musicians which reaches through the tele phone...It’s a real siren song.” And she delivers. Long is famous not only for knowing the ability and availability of every classical musician in Vermont, but for little things — like the goodies she bakes for rehearsals. And her signage at concerts. “We have to play in a lot of venues that are not familiar to us, and that means changing clothing in locker rooms and bathrooms,” Hatch continues. Eleanor gets out in front with directionals to point the way. “It’s like she’s say ing, ‘This is your home. I want to make you as comfortable as possible.’ Most symphonies don’t even have an ambiance. They have a conductor and a board, but they don’t have a soul. This 2 3 does.” one oul is a valuable selling point when you represent a part-time symphony competing for capable musicians with orchestras all over New England. But Long takes noth ing for granted. She gets her requests in early, and doesn’t give up on a musician she has in

Continued on page 23

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Musical Chair Continued from page 22 mind until he or she says no. She exudes efficiency, instantaneously producing a document detailing the status of available musicians and their commitments to upcoming summer concerts. But Long is as fun as she is exacting, exploding into bursts of laughter often and usually at her own expense. It’s easy to imagine how she gets musicians to sign on the dotted line. The next step is get ting the music to them at least a month in advance of the per formance. Long pulls out anoth er chart to show where the score for each piece is coming from — whether it is rented, borrowed or owned. Once she has the music, Long sends the appropriate parts off to the various string princi pals, who mark them up with “bowings,” and return the pages to Long. Like an editor, Long coordi nates all the ins and outs of the paper-pushing process, and is ultimately responsible for deliv ering the music to the players on time. “It is not unusual for me to be thinking in January about bowings in June,” she explains on a short tour of the symphony library she maintains — floor-to ceiling stacks of music organized alphabetically by composer. Getting it all done requires meticulous vigilance and, when people miss their deadlines, occasional FedEx service. Whatever it takes to keep the baton waving — without draw ing a whole lot of attention to herself. Hatch, who works as a nurse, credits Long with “pitu itary” power. “She is the master gland of the organization” says the violinist, “regulating every thing while leaving only the sub tlest of clues.” She also knows Long is the least likely person to blow her own horn, and the reluctant orchestra manager con firms it. Long credits her success to “organizational skills,” describing her role in self-depre cating terms like “den mother” and “worrier.” Not suprisingly, every time she’s been asked to apply for the position of executive director, the former oboist has politely declined. She knows being first fiddle means fundraising, public speaking and dealing with a board. “It’s a level of fiscal responsibility I don’t envy or crave,” she says. “I just think that’s terrifying. I don’t think I would ever sleep a wink.” She had a similar response for the education director of the National Symphony Orchestra, who was in Vermont last sum mer setting up a residency. After a couple of days on the road with Long, She said, ‘If you ever thought about moving, I’m sure you could get a job at the Kennedy Center,”’ Long recalls. “But my parents are here, my friends are here. The symphony is like my family, really. A lot of the musicians have been here forever. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.” ®

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not in Vermont music. april 19, 2000

SEVEN DAYS

page 23

OPEN MIKE, Toadstool Harry’s, 9

MOUNTAIN HIGH wna. can you expect from a band called String Cheese Incident? Well, let’s put it this way:

p.m. N C .

W EDNESDAY RED THREAD (jazz trio), Leunig’s, 7 p.m. NC .

What would you expect from a band with a

STRING CHEESE INCIDENT (g roove-

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rock), Flynn Theatre, 8 p.m. $19/21.

electric and acoustic mandolin, guitar and bass, and a pile of percussion instruments? If you guessed a quintet from Colorado that lives to wildly perform their unique hybrid v of rock, jazz, calypso, bluegrass and world

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GUY COLASACCO (singer-song

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WIDE WAIL (alt-pop), Red Square, WIGGLE (DJs Patti & Tricky Pat;

ELLEN POWELL W/MARK VAN GULDEN (jazz), Leunig’s, 7 p.m. NC . OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus

jungle/beat), Club Metronome, 9

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p.m. $3.

DJ BUTCH (house), Club 156, 10

BRADY KINDRED (rock), Nectar’s, 9

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MANSFIELD PROJECT (rock),

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HIP-HOP NIGHT (DJs), Rasputin’s,

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right. Expect an Incident this Wednesday at

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the Flynn Theatre, courtesy of Higher

Robbie J; ’70s-’90s), Millennium

RUSSELL WOLF (acoustic), followed

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OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pizza &

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Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC .

REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.’s Pub, 9

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KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. N C . KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. ART EDELSTEIN (Celtic acoustic gui

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TERRY DIERS (acoustic) Good

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ZOLA TURN (alt-rock), Castleton

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$5. KARAOKE, Swany’s, 9 p.m. N C . WOOD’S TEA COMPANY

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DJ TORRY MARRS, Mountain

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Action Committee), Giltz Aud.,

MR. FRENCH (rock), Edgewater

Roadhouse, 9 p.m. N C .

COMEDY ZONE (stand-up),

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VINCE CONVERSE BAND (rock),

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CONRAD SAMUELS BAND

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Wobbly Barn, 9 p.m. $6-8.

QUADRA (classic rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

EMPTY POCKETS (rock),

(country; line dancing),

BLUE JAY WAY (rock), Henry’s

Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12.

Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC .

BAD HORSEY (rock), Sha-

QUADRA (classic rock), Trackside

Booms, 9 p.m. $5.

Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny

GORDON STONE BAND, LIMBERJACK COUNTY (jazz-grass,

SATURDAY

O ’s, 9 p.m. NC .

TIM CAIRA (folk-pop), Bridge

FRIDAY

bluegrass; benefit for Habitat for

THE NIELDS W/BEN DEMERATH

CLYDE STATS (jazz), Upper

St. Cafe, 6 p.m. NC .

Humanity), Higher Ground, 9

(singer-songwriters), Burlington

JOHNNY DEVIL BAND (rock), Swany’s, 9:30 p.m. N C .

Deck Pub at the Windjammer,

p.m. $4/6. 18+

Coffeehouse, Rhombus, 8 p.m.

5:30 p.m. N C .

KARAOKE W/GREG & PENNEY,

KARATE, CALIFORNIA STADI UM, PART TIME LOSERS (indie;

Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. N C .

DJ LITTLE MARTIN, 135 Pearl;

Limits, 9 p.m. N C .

MR. FRENCH (rock), Edgewater

10 p.m. $4/5.

NOBBY REED PROJECT (blues), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3.

10.

BROTHERS GRIM (rock), City

benefit for W RUV), Billings

Pub, 9 p.m. N C .

COBALT BLUE (blues-rock),

North Lounge, UVM , 7:30 p.m.

JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano),

Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC.

R0CKW00D RHYTHM (rock),

$5.

Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7

Charlie O ’s, 9 p.m. N C .

ATLANTIC CROSSING (Celtic;

p.m. NC.

DJS CHIA, M00NFL0WER & SHIVA (house), Club 156, 10

contra dance), Champlain Club,

LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s

p.m. $3/4. 18+.

benefit for Native Forest

8 p.m. $5.

Grille, 7:30 p.m. N C . '

HERBAL NATION (funk), Club

SUSAN WERNER (singer -song

Newwork and ACERCA),

ABAIR BROS, (rock), Franny

Metronome, 7:30 p.m. $5, fol

Plainfield Town Hall, 8 p.m.

writer), Burlington Coffeehouse

O ’s, 9 p.m. N C .

lowed by RETR0N0ME (DJ;

$7/9.

at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $12.

DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND,

dance pop), 10:30 p.m. $2.

RODNEY & FRIENDS (acoustic),

DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND,

Angela’s, 9:30 p.m. NC .

THE TRIBE OF DJEMB (reggae),

Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC .

JIM PAGE (singer-songwriter;

Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. N C .

BROTHERS GRIM (rock), City

Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC.

RUSSELL WOLFF (singer-song-

Limits, 9 p.m. NC .

KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m.

TIN PAN ALLEY (acoustic rock),

writer), Borders, 8 p.m. NC .

JOHNNY DEVIL BAND (rock),

NC.

LOCAL TALENT WORLDWIDE PARTY (DJs Melo Grant, Justin

Charlie B’s, Stoweflake, 8:30

Swany’s, 9:30 p.m. NC.

DJS TIM DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-

p.m. NC.

TNT DJ, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m.

hop/r&b), Ruben James, 10

MAC & JAMIE (acoustic rock),

B., Aqua; hip-hop, dancehall,

$3.

p.m. NC.

Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m.

house), Club M etronome, 9

FLASHBACK (’80s DJ),

$5-7.

DJS FROSTEE, LITTLE MARTIN,

PENNY TOWERS, JASON BERGMAN & COLIN MCCAF FREY (jazz/swing), Villa Tragara,

URBAN DJ NETWORK (DJs Spin

135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5.

6:30 p.m. $5 with dinner.

&C Irie; hip-hop/house),

EDIBLE GRAY (funk/jazz/-

MIGHTY BLUES WORKSHOP,

Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m.

groove), Red Square, 9:30 p.m.

Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m.

$3/5.

p.m. $5.

Adams Apple Cafe, Portland & Main streets, Morrisville, 888-4737. Alley Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Angela's, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-0002. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-271 1. Bridge St. Cafe, Richmond, 434-2233. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cafe Delilah, 38 Elm St., Montpelier, 229-1019. Cambridge Coffee House, Smuggler’s Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. Champlain Club, 20 Crowley St., Burlington, 863-5701. Charlie B’s, Stoweflake Resort, 1746 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-7355. Charlie O’s, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Club 156, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 658-3994. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Daily Bread, Bridge St., Richmond, 434-3148. Diamond Jim’s Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Dockside Cafe, 209 Battery, Burlington, 864-5266. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Finnigan’s Pub, 205 College St., Burlington, 864-8209. Franny 0's 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. The G Stop, 38 Main St., St. Albans, 524-7777. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 223-2895. lake’s, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. James Moore Tavern, Bolton Valley Ski Area, 434-3444, x1026. J.P. Morgan’s at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.’s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Live Art at the Barre Opera House, 476-8188, or Wood Art Gallery, Montpelier, 883-9307. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Mad River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 4968910. Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Millennium Nightclub, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin’s, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra the Irish Pub, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sha-Booms, 45 Lake St., St. Albans, 524-9014. Signal to Noise HQ, 416 Pine St. (behind Speeder & Earl’s), Burlington, 9511140. Starksboro Community Coffee House, Village Meeting House, Rt. 116, Starksboro, 434-4254. Strand Theater, 25 Brinkerhoff St., Plattsburgh, 518-566-7265. Swany’s, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Toadstool Harry’s, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. Tuckaway’s, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600. UpperDeck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8626585. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288.

Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. NC.

SUNDAY

NC.

CHUMP CHANGE (rock/r&b)

PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben

THE CLIQUE (top-40 dance),

Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30

DAYVE HUCKETT (jazz guitar),

James, 5 p.m. N C , followed by

Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5.

p.m. N C .

Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. N C .

TOP HAT DJ, 11 p.m. N C . DJS ROB, ALLEN, B-WYSE & BUTCH (house), Club 156, 10

OPEN MIKE, Adams Apple Cafe,

COMEDY ZONE (stand-up),

TIM CAIRA (folk-pop), Bridge

7:30 p.m. N C .

Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m.

St. Cafe, 10 a.m. NC .

p.m. $3/4. 18+.

continued on p a ge 27

NORTHERN DELIGHT (acoustic), J.R Morgan’s, 7:30 p.m. NC.

GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-song-

GOOD QUESTION (rock),

DERRICK SEMLER (blues),

writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. N C .

Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. N C .

Charlie O ’s, 9 p.m. NC .

BLUE JAY WAY (rock), Henry’s

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April 28,

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B u rlin gton ’s fin e s t s e le c t io n of g la s s w a te r p ip e s 8 b u b b lers. 150A Church St. 863-TANK

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at the Ira Allen Chapel University of Vermont Burlington, VT WNCS-The Point

R K S , I NC S18 m advance, S12 stu d e n ts, $20 day o f show , $50 fo r reception & preferred seating!

Tickets: (802) 656-3085 • General Event Info: Solar Works (8 6 0 ) 354-7346

april 1 9 ,2 0 0 0

SEVER DAYS

page

statesmen like Elvin Jones, the 17th annual festival is truly an all ages affair. As a proud sponsor of the Discover Jazz Festival, we’ll pre view each of the headliners from now until June.

[jimmycliff BANDS ON THE RUN? Hello,

Internet police? We’ve got a prob lem here. Seems that somebody is inventing fake bands and ripping off the material of several Burlington bands — Chin Ho!, Non Compos Mentis, Never Again and Drowningman among O N E M AIN ST. • W INOOSKI • INFO 654-8888 DOORS 8 P M * SHOW 9 PM unless noted A LL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE I.D. unless noted

THURSDAY, APRIL 20 • $8 AT DOOR VT ALLSTARS GLASS & GEAR GRAND OPENING CELEBRATION

DAVECRIPPOFUNKBAND INVISIBLE HAND & CONTRAPTION A-DOC

SUNDAY, APRIL 23 • S10 ADVANCE SIO OAY OF SHOW KING OF THE SURF GUITAR

DICK DALE ABBYJAYE BAND TUESDAY, APRIL 25 • S22 ADVANCE S22 OAY OF SHOW 104.7 THL POINT & SAM AOAMS BREWING WELCOME

JIMMY CLIFF THURSDAY, APRIL 27 • S20 ADVANCE S22 DAY OF SHOW 90.1 WRUV, FLEX RECORDS & TOAST CONCERTS PRESENT

MIXMASTERMIKE

them — on www.mp3.com. We don’t like this. The real bands, who worked hard to write those songs and market their own selves around the nonvirtual world, espe cially don’t like it. Andrew Smith, vocalist for Chin Ho!, says a band called “Twistknob” stole an old Ho! song (“Harder Than This”) and posted it to their mp3 page under the title “Forced to Do It.” The page even included an auda ciously ripped-off photo of Chin Ho!, live on an unidentifiable stage — the photos pixelated, says Smith, but still recognizable as the Bald One and his mates. Though he now believes “Harder” was not one of his finer achievements, the song was nonetheless copyrighted back in ’95. So was Smile When You Hate, the NCM CD retitled Hating the Hated by another fake band called Tides of Darkness. Worse, TOD was actually selling the CD — and singer Jeff Howlett ordered one.

Imagine his displeasure at finding his own music repackaged, stealing not only the tracks but the band’s distinctive logo. Other fakes: “Azure Moon” is Drowningman, and “Never Agen” is Never Again, says Smith. These other faux bands were linked to the Twistknob page and all searchable as “Burlington bands.” Were, that is, until Smith remembered an old fan who went to work for mp3.com. After Smith emailed the woman, the fake bands were removed from the site within hours and are now being investi gated. Evidence suggests the cul prits are local, but Howlett says he’s not sure what the mp3 legal team will do. “Presumably mp3 would have some address to send the money [for the CDs sold] to,” Howlett notes. “I’d like to know, where’s my money?” Stay tuned. JAZZ TRAIN’S A-COMIN’ You can’t

go wrong with “Living Legends/ Modern Masters” — the theme of this summer’s Discover Jazz Festival in Burlington. But some of them are a lot younger than that acco lade suggests — genius, and fame, can come even to those who don’t wait very long. From youngsters like Shemekia Copeland to elder

FOUR-TWENTY SCORE! Talk about smokin’. Burlington’s nuovo-bluegrassers Smokin’ Grass are back, taking a breather in what has been two long years of touring. The lat est outing began in Boone, North Carolina, and wrapped with an “extremely well received” appear ance at the Old Settlers Music Festival near Austin, Texas. With new tunes and tighter-than-ever chops, Smokin’ Grass are happy to play for the homies this Thursday at Club Metronome, where they haven’t played since ’98. Welcome back! Also back Stateside are Atlantic Crossing, who took their first trip to the real Celtic country and cele brate American-style this Friday at Burlington’s Champlain Club. DO GOOD DEPT. Friday is the night to improve your karma, people. Those indie kids strike out for WRUV, the “real alternative” radio station once again this week: Karate, California Stadium and The Part Time Losers provide the tunes at Billings. Over at Higher Ground, The Gordon Stone Band and Limberjack County prove the ’grass is greener in Winooski, and jazz it up for UVM’s Habitat for Humanity project. Singer-with-acause Jim Page returns for an Earth Day concert to benefit the Native Forest Network and Action for Community and Ecology in the Regions of Central America (ACERCA). That’s at the Plainfield

Town Hall Saturday. SINGLE TRACKS Be sure to check out what former Zola Turn chanteuse Jenn KarSOn has been

up to in her solo career — she’ll be on the Buzz “Homebrew” show this Sunday night . . . Vermont’s own hard rockers 808 4 got a review on the international on-line magazine, Hard Roxx (www.hardroxx.com) for their recent release, So Far. . . Chin Ho!, meanwhile, got a print kudo for Girl in The Album Network, a trade mag for radio and music-biz insiders . . . Tickets are flying for the June 15 concert by the rarely seen (in these parts) Jerry Jeff Walker at the Vergennes Opera House. With the limited supply, you might wanna call 877-6312 to reserve yours . . . The only problem with being a weekly is that we can’t alert you to spontaneous events — like the free surprise show by Strangefolk last Wednesday at Higher Ground. The good-will gesture by the local-but-ever-touring groovesters was a warm-up for a big show in Pennsylvania Saturday. About 400 people showed up with 24 hours’ notice . . . Burlington’s brand-new Vermont Allstars Glass & Gear shop cele brates itself with a whompin’ party at Higher Ground Thursday, with The Dave Grippo Funk Band, Invisible Hand, Contraption and the Roots Foundation Sound System . . . For anyone harboring visions of Yolanda’s world domina

tion, hold your breath no more: He/she appeared on the on-line radio gaybc.com. Hear the live interview at www.gaybc.com/ahang0004.asp. (Z)

Band name of the week: P re to ria ’s S e c re t

rEviEwsrEviEwsrEviEwsrEviEwsrEviEwsrEviEwsrEviEw RAPHE MALIK, STORYLINE

SUNDAY, APRIL 30 • $12 AOVANCE $14 DAY OF SHOW

MAD PROFESSOR & MACKA B. THE NEW DEAL

MONDAY. MAY 1 • $10 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW TUESDAY1MAY 2 • $10 ADVANCE $12 OAY OF SHOW 106.7 WI2N & SAM AOAMS BREWING WELCOME

DARK STARORCHESTRA THURSDAY, MAY 4 • S20 ADVANCE $20 DAY OF SHOW *18* FRIDAY May 5 • S20 ADVANCE $20 OAY OF SHOW • 21*

WEEN TUESOAY, MAY 9 • $12 AOVANCE $14 DAY OF SHOW

iREVEREND HORTON HEAT AMAZING CROWNS LOS STRAITJACKETS

WEONESDAY, MAY 10 • $15 ADVANCE S17 OAY OF SHOW AN EVENING WITH

MICHELLE SHOCKED THURSDAY, MAY 18 • S8 ADVANCE SIO DAY OF SHOW 104.7 THE POINT WELCOMES

LIQUID SOUL v SEX MOB

SATURDAY, MAY 20 • S12 ADVANCE $14 OAY OF SHOW

ELLIOTT SMITH WISKEY BISCUIT

SUNDAY, MAY 21 • $15 ADVANCE $15 DAY OF SHOW EARLY SEATED SHOW: DOORS 7PM AN EVENING WITH

IRIS DEMENT JULIANAHATFIELD THURSDAY, MAY 25 • $10 AOVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW

W IDE W AIL

SUNDAY, MAY 28 • $8 ADVANCE SIO DAY OF SHOW

LECENDARYPINK DOTS DEAD VOICES ON A IR

ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHER GROUND, FLYNN THEATRE BOX OFFICE, ALL FLYNN OUTLETS, PURE POP, PEACOCK MUSIC, TONES OR CHARGE BY PHONE at 86-FLYNN THE HIGHER GROUND DOX OFFICE IS OPEN M-F FROM 11 AM SELLING TICKETS TO OUR UPCOMING EVENTS WWW.HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM

page 26

SEVEN DAYS

(Boxholder Records, CD) — Woodstock, Vermont’s Boxholder Records is quickly becoming a serious force in the world of abstract jazz (see full article this issue). After an impressive debut — the enchanting two-disc set of bass and poetry ruminations by William Parker and David Budbill released last summer — Boxholder throws three hard-hitters our way. CDs by saxo phonist Joe McPhee and Johnny McLellan, KONK (a quartet led by Keith Hedger and Charlie Kohlhase), and this disc by Raphe Malik have all been simultaneously released. While all three are worth getting your hands on, we’ll keep it local by focusing on Storyline, a recent set of compositions by the Guilford, Vermontbased trumpet player. Propelled by a rhythm section composed of Cecil McBee on bass and Codaryl “Cody” Moffett on drums, Malik’s lat est statement is a unique blend of styles both traditional and modern. Somewhere between Dizzy Gillespies classic romps, the spurt-driven shouts of Don Cherry and the soulful flow of any New Orleans brass band, Storylines is a diverse set that showcases Maliks ability to switch seamlessly between various modes of playing. Indeed, this flexibility is Maliks greatest asset throughout. For example, the second take of “Ago (Go)”: To open, Malik smoothly plays a tune that sounds vaguely familiar, like a jazzy motif from a film seen long ago. The mellow melodic line evokes the feeling of a scaled-down brass band jamming in a dingy basement-level lounge. Then, just two minutes into the cut, a skitter-scatter drum solo takes'over with a gigan tic rumble. This bchind-the-kit tour de force swells and undulates for a good few minutes

before giving way to an explosive interlude of noholds-barred trumpet wails. It’s resolutely satisfy ing in places. Like else where on the album, Malik never steps too far out of bounds, and within moments the vibe shifts once again. Now the mood goes meditative as careful horn squawks skirt across slow bass heaves and splashes of elegant percussion. In the context of a trio, Malik’s compositional talents shine brightly. Unlike the collectivism he shows on other recent work ( The Short Form, released a couple years back), Malik is directly under the spotlight on Storyline. And as this 10-track disc clearly shows, he’s a talented trumpet player worth wrapping your noggin around. So when does he come to Burlington to treat us to a live set? -— JeffFuccillo ELBOW, HOG THE BED (Root4Records, CD) — Hog the Bed, the new self-produced, 12song disc from the Killington-based Elbow, is a ballsy, up-to-date urbanization of old-school country-blues-rock. This trio has muscle to spare and, while they occasionally recall other groups mining the roots genres, they’re on their way to patenting a per sonal formula. Songwriter and main singer Bow Thayer pro vides squalling electric slide and acoustic guitar, plus banjo, and variously recalls Jagger, Dylan and even Waits on the mike, but always stops short of imitation. Thayer has a rhythm section

worthy of the term in bassist Jed Curtis, who doubles on banjo and vocals, and drummer Mike Press, who also sings. Co-producer Gregg Musser laces tasteful organ and piano parts into most of these tracks. Hog the Bed has an engaging live, unadulterated, first- or secondtake feel to it, recalling early records by The Band or the Stones. But there’s a fatter, some what more modern sound — a few samples here, some processed vocals there. Even some zipper playing from Press confirms this is no tribute band. I particularly dug “Mud Season,” a viscous slide guitar-flavored venture into Led Zeppelin territory, and the funky “Smelly Truth,” featuring some nice clavinet sounds from Musser. “Everything is Blue” is a pretty, old-dmey gem, and I liked the Who-like har monies on the title track. “Hog the Bed” also features the quirky line, “She’ll be sorry when I’m dead, then I’ll really hog the bed.” Other pleasures include Gred Talenfeld’s harmonica playing on the pleasingly ragged “Ramona,” and the drum machine-powered slide-blues bonus track. Troubles are few on this record, but “Four O ’Clock Itch” ventures a little too far into hippie rock for my tastes. Thayer sounds a bit histrionic on the solo blues “River of Jordan,” and there’s an awkward lyric or two. I don’t know how such a Southern-sound ing band got so far north, but I’m glad they did. Hog the Beds few flaws are easily overlooked against such strong song writing, tight arrange ments and to-the-point solos. Elbow’s power, humor and respect for rock roots left me looking forward to their next joint. Paul Gibson

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highly respected Blue Note Records, Jazz Mandolin Project are doing all right for

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and in fact Masefield’s musical roots are Dixieland, not Appalachian. With New Yorkers Chris Dahlgren on stand-up bass and Ari Hoenig on drums, JMP strike a balance between groove and improv, and along the way stretch a musical idiom beyond all hope of easy categorization. David Grisman may

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c o n tin u e d fro m p a g e 2 5

THE CROPPIES (Irish), Ri Ra, 5

Chow! Bella, 6 p.m. N C .

p.m. NC .

MIGHTY BLUES WORKSHOP JAM

SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJ;

Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. N C .

trance), Club M etronome, 9 p.m.

OPEN STAGE W/DYLAN (acoustic),

$ 2.

Horn o f the Moon Cafe, 8:30 p.m.

SALAD DAYS (pop-rock), Nectar’s,

NC .

/l/utfaqe frin*toi6c*ujf4. & ot&en 1293 W i l l i s t o n

9:30 p.m. NC .

R d

S. B u r l i n g t o n

TOP HAT DJ (hip-hop), Rasputin’s,

802.658.5055

9:30 p.m. N C .

(a&ioM friom (fa u fa t fa a )

ALEXANDER CHASE (DJ: ’80s), Club 156, 10 p.m. NC .

ACOUSTIC JAM W/JACIE & PAUL, Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC .

TUESDAY

DICK DALE, ABBY JAYE BAND

SHAUNA ANT0NIUC (jazz vocals).

(king o f surf guitar), Higher

Leunig’s, 7 p.m. NC.

Ground, 9 p.m. $10. 18+

OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m.

Donations.

Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m.

NC.

LADY ZENO’S DRAG BINGO (bene

JAIRO SEQUEIRA (acoustic),

fit for Pride M r 2000), 135 Pearl,

Capitol Grounds, 11 a.m. N C .

8 p.m. N C .

RICK REDINGTON (acoustic rock),

FATTY & MEL0 (DJs; urban), Club

Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. N C .

Metronome, 9 p.m. $3.

BLUE VELVET (blues), Nectar’s, 9 p.m. N C .

STEVE BLAIR (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C .

OFF THA LEASH W/TRAUM UNIT

Female Volunteers Needed for a Research Study at UVM Dept, o f OB/GYN, conducted by Ira Bernstein, MD

This study will examine blood flow to the uterus during the menstrual cycle. You may be eligible if you are: • 18-35 years old • have regular cycles (26-32 days apart) • do not smoke • have never been pregnant

L e d by L iz T h o m p s o n

S o n g s o f N a tu re Saturday, April 29, 2000, 8 pm Stowe Community Church Stowe

Sunday, April 30, 7 pm College Street Congregational Church Burlington

Traditional, M edieval, an d C on tem porary Songs fo r Spring

k Sung by B urlin gton’s a capella chorus I

$8 suggested donation at the door L Information: 8 6 4 -9 2 1 2

(hip-hop DJs LV, Dubee, Andy,

MONDAY

Double; electronica), Millennium

ALLEY CATS JAM W/NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m.

Nightclub, 9 p.m. $2/5.

NC.

DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC .

BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall

DAVE GRIPPO (funky jazz), Red

RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.’s Pub,

Square, 9:30 p.m. N C .

9:30 p.m. N C .

AGENT PORRIGE (alt-rock), Club

JIMMY CLIFF (reggae legend),

Metronome, 9 p.m. $2.

Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $22. 18+

MIKE PELKEY & FRIENDS (rock),

DAVE KELLER W/D0N ROSE

Nectar’s, 9 p.m. N C .

(acoustic blues), Bridge St. Cafe, 6

OPEN MIKE, Rasputin’s, 9 p.m.

p.m. N C .

NC.

ACOUSTIC JAM, Daily Bread

JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar),

Bakery, 7:30 p.m. NC . ®

Financial compensation of $400 will be offered for participation in study.

656-2669 everybody's reading

SEVEN DAYS aprii 19, 2000

SEVEN DAYS

page 27

orld

o f

UVM

rt a t

Artists' Mediums

F L E M IN G M U S E U M

D EPARTM ENT OF M U SIC

Eco-Detectives: An Art/Science Vacation

Small Ensembles Concert

University Percussion Ensemble

A Writer's Vision: Prints, Drawings, and Watercolors by G unter Grass

April 27 at 7:30 p.m. FREE

through June 4

University Orchestra

May 3 at 7:30 p.m. FREE

Ornamentation and Decoration/Materials and Motifs: Exhibitions in Progress

Vermont Wind Ensemble

through June 25 656-0750

University Concert Choir April 25 at 7:30 p.m. FREE

May 2 at 7:30 p.m. FREE

University Jazz Ensemble

a bus line named desire: “T h e y told m e to take a streetcar nam ed D esire and

I- 2

April 24 - 28, grades

April 24 at 7:30 p.m. FREE

then transfer to o n e called C em etery and ride six blocks and then get o f f at Elysian Fields,

B lanche

D u B o is explains in A Streetcar Nam ed Desire. T h e line foreshadow s her ow n fate in the rough and tu m ble h o m e o f her married sister. Appropriately, the last streetcar o n the D esire line ran in 1 9 4 8 , just a E xpect to be h ot and bothered by this painful portrait o f Sou thern culture on the skids — pre air-con d ition in g.

fighting words:

arm chair arbiters m ete ou t jud gm en ts from zero to 10 at the Super Slam -O ff. T h e poin ts do m atter here

Student Teachers in UVM's Art Education Program

— the four top-scorers b ecom e the first team ever to represent V erm ont at the N ation al Poetry Slam, held in P rovidence, R h ode Island this A ugust. T h e cream o f the crop are com p etitors at this w ord w ran

through April 21

m atch o f H u lk -lik e proportions.

656-2014

Friday, April 21. Burlington City H all Auditorium, 6:30 p.m. $5- Info, 862-9198.

L I V I N G / L E A R N IN G Dirty D ream s: Work by

April 28 - 29 at 8 p.m. $6/general public, $4/students DANCE STUDIO PATRICK GYM

members of the Living/Learning Pottery Studio

652-4500

through May 4

Framing & Matting Pastels Beginner Airbrushing B\ock ' -------------------( S ig n u p n o w j )

—

gle — all are stars o f the m o n th ly slam s at the R h om b u s Gallery. Be prepared for a verbal w restling

COLBURN GALLERY

Orchesis Dance Company Spring Performance

\Naiercolots Acryucs

“T h e poin ts are n o t the p o in t... the poin t is the poetry.” So goes a m otto

from Poetry Slam , Inc. But the judges, ch osen from the aud ien ce, delivei O lym p ic-style scores. T h e

DANCE PROGRAM

onsite Classes

Thursday through Sunday, April 20-23, 8 p.m. A pril 22, 2 & 8 p.m. Wright Theatre, Middlebury College. $4. Info, 443-6433.

DEPARTM ENT O F ART

656-3040

Vfs Most Complete Discount Artsource I

" T H E HA R D W A R E S T O R E F O R A R T IS T S ...!"

year after T ennessee W illiam s’ play d ebu ted on Broadway. Buses run the route in N e w O rleans today.

May 7 at 7:30 p.m. FREE IRA ALLEN CHAPEL

Art M aterials ♦ D r a ftin g - C u s t o m F r a m in g

egging on:

Easter is a holiday for everyone: T h o u g h it has taken on a C hristian co n n o ta tio n ,

" UKRAINIAN E g g " s u p p lie s a r e H E R E !!! lit Store How to P e so 's

the w ord Easter com es from the nam e o f an ancien t A n glo-S axon fertility goddess Eastre, w h ose m oniker references a w ord m eaning “spring. ” T h e prevalence o f eggs — d ep en d in g o n w h o m y ou ask — is a sym b ol o f C h rist’s resurrection, or com es from B abylon ian m ystery rituals. Either way, searching for them is a fun tradition, and at an u p co m in g h u n t, Earth D a y is throw n into the m ix. K ids eight and

L/L GALLERY

under search for candy and green eco-eggs, and proceeds benefit the L am oille C o u n ty N ature Center.

656-4211

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Saturday, A pril 22. Trapp Family Touring Center, Stowe, 10 a. m. $5. Info, 888-9218.

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a w e d d in g story:

media sponsor: F Z * } public r TELEVlstON

G ay marriage is a political issue in V erm ont — but it is also an

intensely personal matter. In The Wedding, N e w Yorkers D ou glas W ythe and A ndrew M erlin g w rite about their nuptials w h ile the parents —

R oslyn and S h eld on M erlin g — ch im e in. T h e four c o m m e n t

Gordon Stone

on everything from en gagem en t etiq u ette to glass-breaking in a traditional Jewish cerem ony. T h e y touch on the problem s and joys o l sam e-sex marriage, in clu d in g w h eth er to call it a w ed d in g or a c o m m it m ent cerem on y” on invitation s to elders. G ives civil u n io n a h u m an face. Four sm ilin g ones, actually.

Saturday, April 22. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

We walk for a cure. We walk for our future.

gre e n day: W ant to see L eonardo D iC ap rio, James Taylor and Carole K ing on the sam e stage

and Lumberjack County

for Earth Day? Sorry — y ou ’ve got to go to the n ation ’s capital for that. H ere in V erm ont, the extent o f the celebrity is Bread and Puppet leading a parade ol p oliticos that inclu des U .S . Senator Jam es Jeffords and Lt. Gov. D o u g Racine. T h e festivities c o n tin u e w h en A frique Aya, Jon G ailm or and Breakaway per form solar-pow ered m usic. Exhibits o l electric cars, w in d and solar pow er and gardening tech niques put the green back into the G reen M ou n tain State.

Saturday, April 22. Waterfront Park, Burlington, 10 a.m. - 5 :3 0 p.m. Free. Info, 864-9600.

dry spell:

Ready for a long, hot sum m er? M eteorologists are predicting another unusually

warm , dry season to follow up the warm est w inter on record. Fast sum m er, all o l V erm ont and Essex C ou n ty, N.Y. were declared agricultural disaster areas. 1 he scorch in g heat — w h ich inclu ded three

Jo in us a s we celebrate su rv iv o rs,

tim es the norm al num ber o f 90-p lu s-d egree days — c o m b in ed w ith a lack o f precipitation to wreak havoc o n local farms. G eograph y prof L esley-A nn D u p ig n y -G iro u x speaks about lessons learned

rem em ber frie n d s and loved o n e s

and

forgotten — from last year. V erm ont is o n e o f o n ly six states that has no official plan to m itigate the

w ho have lost th e ir battle w ith

effects o f future drought.

Wednesday, April 26. Memorial Lounge, Waterman Building, UVM, Burlington, 7 :3 0 p.m. Free.

cancer, and help fu n d ra ise to Carly Caswell, 4

Info, 656-4389.

continue re se a rch and find a cure.

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Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

potluck at Smuggler’s Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 7-9 p.m. Donations. Info, 644-5721.

‘TINTYPES’: Sandra Wright is the singing star of this rollicking good-time musical revue set at the turn of the last century. Briggs Opera House, White River Junc tion, 8 p.m. $20. Info, 296-7000.

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• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” MUSICA FEMINA: The women’s choral group joins musical forces with the Catamount Singers for a concert in the UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040. ‘SONGS OF NATURE’: The Social Band plays music spanning nine centuries, from Bulgarian vil lage songs to American shape-note hymns. North Lounge, Billings Stu dent Center, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 434-4077. OPEN MIKE NIGHT: Bring your own talent to a performance

film ‘T H E LOST CHILDREN OF ROCKDALE C O U N TY ’: A dis cussion follows the screening of this Frontline documentary about a placid suburban town full of outof-control teens. Ailing Memorial Library, Williston, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0555. M OVIE HISTORY LECTURE: Humanities prof Stanley Bates gives a lecture entitled “Stanley Cavell: Moral Perfectionism and

the Movies.” Abernethy Room, Starr Library, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5000. ‘STEALING T IM E ’ DOUBLE FEATURE: Stanley Kubrick directed The Killing, about a race track heist gone wrong. Stephen Soderbergh’s stylish Out o f Sight stars George Clooney as a suave bank robber who seduces a federal marshal. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 8:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The human figure motivates aspiring and accomplished artists in a weekly drawing session at the Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165.

FIVE-COLLEGE BOOK SALE: Browse the stacks to benefit schol arship funds at Mount Holyoke, Simmons, Smith, Vassar and Wellesley. Hanover High School, N.H., 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Free. Info, 603-795-2277. SHORT FIC TIO N READING: Mary Rechner and Valerie Koropatnik read from their respec tive works at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-0569. LITERATURE OF T H E FAR NORTH’ BOOK GROUP: A dis cussion of Peter Hoeg’s Smillas Sense o f Snow sheds literary light on a relatively unknown part of the world. S. Hero Community Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 372-6209.

kids STORYTIME: Young readers aged three to five learn from lightheart ed literature, songs and activities. S. Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. TINY T O T ’ STORYTIME: The three-and-under crowd hears sto ries read aloud. Barnes & Noble,

S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. SONG & STORYTIME: Threes are company at this singing readalong. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

etc SPRING BLOOD DRIVE: Fruit, sundaes and raffle prizes await gen erous donors at the Red Cross Blood Center, 32 North Prospect St., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-6400. WILLARD STERNE RANDALL: The local biographer profiles George Aiken, a controversial Vermont Republican who spoke out against the Vietnam War and said “no” to nukes. Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-2700. URBAN FORESTRY LECTURE: An urban forester shares tips on growing greenery in city surround ings. Fletcher Free Library, Burling ton, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-8245. TRAVEL TALK: A representative from the Holland America Cruise Line talks about the politics, cul ture and people of the Panama

Canal region. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. ‘W H O BOMBED JUDI BARI?’: North California Redwoods activist Alicia Littletree speaks about the Earth First activist who was injured by a car bomb and is suing the FBI for false arrest. 301 Williams Hall, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-0571. W IN D TURBINE UNVEILING: Employees cut the ribbon on the 80-foot turbine, which will be used for testing and education at Burlington Electric Department, Pine Street, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-0300. PERENNIAL GARDENING: A representative from Fox Run Flowers gives gardening advice on color and care. Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2878. SMALL BUSINESS RO U N D TABLE: Business-sawy women get the inside scoop on Internet com merce. Trinity College, Burlington & Montpelier City Hall, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 877-770-8922. CONSERVATION OPEN HOUSE: The regional section of the national Wildlands Project

Benefit fo r UVM Habitat fo r Humanity HIGHER GROUND Friday, April 21, 9pm $6/18+ $4/21+ L yric T heatre C ompany proudly presents

R &

a *n

A p r i l 27 - 30 F lynn T heatre - Burlington Featuring Jen Lavoie as Peter Pan

Benjamin Paulsen Bailey Hoar Geoffrey Penar Wayne Hobbs Scott Remick Melinda Hood Robert Root Kate Kendall Bethany Sheldon Steve Kendall Heidi Tappan Kate Kennedy Michael Tutt Billie Larson Cyndi Villarimo Emily Mara Paui Watts Robert Morris Kate Whalen Katie Owens Nicole Williams Elizabeth Page Prod. Supervisor: Pam Carter • Artistic Director: Patrick Clow Music Director: Stan Greenberg • Assistant: Rebecca Stone Choreographer: Johanna Boyce • Assistant: Karen Amirault Stage Manager: Freda Aysse • Assistant: Barbara Tkach

Andrew Biss Kiowa Bryan Kristen Bures Zachary Campbell Kevin Collins Steve Contompasis Nathan Courtright Bob Cseh Josh Curtis Leon Fred Ethan Hain

Tickets: $14-$I9 • Matinee performances are sold out Tickets still available for Thu/Fri/Sat at 8 & Sun at 6:30 $5 discount for students/sr. citizens (except Fri/Sat eves)

UVM Campus Ticket Store: 656-3085 Flynn Reg. Box Office: 86-FLYNN VtMOrt PUtUC RA0»

Info: www.lyrictheatrevt.org

Media Sponsor

april 19, 2000

SEVEN DAYS

page 29

S t_ shares information about their conservation work. Greater Laurentians Wildlands Project, 4 Laurel Hill Dr., S. Burling ton, noon - 7 p.m. CFIDS ASSOCIATION M EETING: Sufferers of chron ic fatigue syndrome and other immune dysfunctions listen to a lecture about a thyroid condi tion known as Wilson’s Syn drome. First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7-9 ' p.m. Free. Info, 800-296-1445.

film ANGELS AND INSECTS’: Kristin Scott-Thomas stars in the movie version of A.S. Byatt’s novel about a peculiar Victorian family. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

words

isrsday

m usic

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” OPEN MIKE: Local perform ers play tunes — preferably unplugged — for the folks at T.W. Wood Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-9495.

dance DANCE LECTURE:Student Corinna Luyken demonstrates at a dance discussion about movement, writing and the visual arts. Dance Theatre, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

drama T IN T Y PE S ’: See April 19. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE’: Students stage Tennessee Williams’ smoldering play about a faded Southern belle and her brutish brotherin-law. See “to do” list, this issue. Wright Theatre, Middle bury College, 8 p.m. $4. Info, 443-6433.

POETRY W ORKSHOP: Angela Patten reads from her work and gives writing tips to poetry fans and aspiring authors. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

kids STORY & CRAFT TIME: Kids three and up engage in art ful educational activities. Fletcher Free Library, Burling ton, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. POETRY & STORY TIME: Poems by Dilys Evans bring magic to a reading of Fairies, Trolls and Goblins. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

sport ‘EARTH DAY AMBLE’: Bring boots — it might get muddy on this guided walk of the nature trails. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 4-6 p.m. $5. Info, 723-4705.

etc SPRING BLOOD DRIVE: See April 19. MEDICAL HISTORY LEC

TURE: A professor emeritus from Boston University speaks about Abraham Jacoby, the father of American pediatrics. Hall A, Given Building, UVM, Burlington, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3452. SMART GROW TH DISCUS SION SERIES: After cocktails and dinner, real estate and financial expert Donovan Rypkema speaks about the eco nomics of historic preservation. Sheraton Hotel, S. Burlington, 5:30 p.m. $25. Register, 862-0500. ‘INTERVIEWING SUCCESS FULLY’: Wannabe employees get tips on handling tricky questions and making the best impression. UVM Division of Continuing Education, 322 S. Prospect St., Burlington, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-639-3210. ENVIRONM ENT TALK: Representatives from the Lake Champlain Committee and Basin Program explain evolving strategies for managing the lake’s watershed. 104 Aiken Center, UVM, Burlington, 12:30-1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4280. CONSULTANTS NETW ORK MEETING: Consultants of all stripes learn about “value-based” billing. Network Performance, S. Burlington, 7:30-9 a.m. $15. Register, 244-6481. ‘VERNAL POOLS’: A slide show tonight preps peepers peo ple for a field trip on Saturday. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7-9 p.m. $20 includes trip. Info, 229-6206. ENVIRONMENTAL STUD IES COLLOQUIUM: Chemistry prof David Weis gives a talk entitled “Atmos

pheric Aerosols: W hat We Can Learn in the Lab.” Gifford Annex Lounge, Middlebury College, 12:20-1:20 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5710. GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get sup port. Outright Central Vermont, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. SEXUAL ASSAULT SUR VIVORS GROUP: Victims of violence support and educate their peers. Puffer United Meth odist Church, Morrisville, 6:308 p.m. Free. Info, 888-5256.

21 fridav m usic

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” G O R D O N STONE & LIMBERJACK COUNTY: The Vermont-based bluegrass artists display their homing instinct in a lively benefit for Habitat for Humanity. Higher Ground, Winooski, 9 p.m. $4-6. Info, 654-8888. RUSSELL WOLFF: This “folkie with an edge” performs for book browsers at Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. LENT & EASTER C O N CERT: Organist Susan Mason plays choral-preludes of J.S. Bach; the college Chamber Singers and Early Music in Vermont sing Renaissance choral hymns. Mead Chapel, Middlebury College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. ROSE ROOM REVUE:

Vocalist Penny Towers, violinist Jason Bergman and guitarist Colin McCaffrey play jazz, and swing. Villa Tragara, Waterbury Center, 6:30 p.m. $5. Info, 244-5288.

dance ‘T H E EDGE OF T H E U N K N O W N ’: Students Sarah Garcia and Charlotte Sikes per form original choreographies in the Dance Theatre, Middlebury College Center For the Arts, 8 p.m. $4. Info, 443-6433.

drama ‘A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE’: See April 20. ‘TINTYPES’: See April 19.

film ‘T H E HOUSEGUEST AND MY M O T H E R ’: Familial duty conflicts with the romance between a Korean widow and her late husband’s friend. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422. ‘T IT U S ’: Julie Taymor made her directorial debut with this film version of Shakespeare’s goriest play. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings.

words POETRY SLAM: The Super Slam-Off decides who will rep resent the state at the national championships. See “to do” list,

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Women’s Services and Shelter facilitates a group in Barre, 1011:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

SONG & STORYTIME: See April 19, 10:15-10:45 a.m.

sport NATURE WALK: A springtime promenade wends from the nature center to the Statehouse in celebration of Earth Day. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, noon & 2 p.m. Free. Info, 229-6206.

etc SPRING BLOOD DRIVE: See April 19, 7:30 a.m. - 1 p.m. GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP: See April 20. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. JAPANESE HISTORY TALK: National Book Award winner John Dower speaks about the American decision to retain the emperor after World War II. Geonomics House, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5795. ‘MOTHER EARTH AND SEVEN GENERATIONS’: A symposium featuring tribal leaders and attorneys focuses on legislation impacting Native Americans. Chase Center, Vermont Law School, S. Royalton, 8:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 763-8303. BIRDING LECTURE: Mark LaBar’s talk about spring bird migration and waterfowl bene fits the Green Mountain Audubon Society. North Hero House, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 372-4732. BATTERED W OM EN’S SUPPORT GROUP: Battered

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APRIL

Saturday m usic

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” EARTH DAY CONCERT: Folk singer Jim Page performs to benefit the Native Forest Network and a Colombian eco logical preservation organiza tion. Plainfield Town Hall, 8 p.m. $9. Info, 863-0571. ‘BEAT THE BLUES’ BASH: Don’t wallow in mud season — wear your summer best to an indoor carnival and barbecue benefit for the town’s Indepen dence Day celebration. Neshobe Sportsman’s Club, Brandon, 6 p.m. $6. Info, 247-3929.

dance ‘THE EDGE OF THE UNKNOW N’: See April 21. CONTRA DANCE: Acclaimed contra quartet Wild Asparagus provides the tunes at this north ern-style community hoedown. George Marshall calls them in the Municipal Gym, Middle bury, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 388-4548.

drama ‘A STREETCAR NAMED DE SIRE’: See April 20, 2 & 8 p.m. ‘TINTYPES’: See April 19.

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‘THE WEDDING: A FAMI LY’S COMING OUT STORY’: The authors of the same-sex marriage memoir — two men and one set of parents — discuss and sign their work. See “to do” list, this issue. Borders, Church Street Marke tplace, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

kids EARTH DAY FESTIVAL: Earth and art intermingle at this day of eco-friendly crafts,

live music and storytelling by Recille Hamrell. Lake Cham plain Basin Science Center, Burlington, 12:30 - 4:30 p.m. $3. Register, 864-1848. EASTER EGG HUNT: Children aged eight and under search for evasive ova, candy and educational prizes. See “to do” list, this issue. Trapp Family Touring Center, Stowe, 10 a.m. $5. Info, 888-9218. STORYTIME: Young readers delve into classic and new tales at a laid-back, literary happen ing. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. FOREST FORAY: Youngsters spend Earth Day searching for signs of spring in the woods around Shelburne Farms, 9:3011 a.m. & 12:30-2:30 p.m. $6. Register, 985-8686.

tive energy at a day of electric car rides, solar and wind power exhibits and a parade. See “to do” list, this issue. Waterfront Park, Burlington, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 864-9600. ABENAKI POWWOW: A fes tival of Native American music, dancing, food and crafts bene fits the nonprofit Dawnland Center. Civic Center, M ont pelier, 11 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. $5. Info, 229-0601. WINE TASTING: Get in touch with your inner oenophile at an introduction to vari ous vini. Wine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington, 1-5 p.m. 50€ per taste. Info, 951-9463.

sport

m usic

PADDLING TRIP: Kayakers and canoists take to the waters of Shelburne Pond with the Montpelier section of the Green Mountain Club. Meet at Montpelier High School, 10 a.m. Free. Register, 223-7035. SPRING HIKE: Dana Baron leads an easy-paced promenade along the paths near Colchester Pond. Register, 878-6773. GREEN MOUNTAIN CLUB MEETING: Hikers interested in forming a nothern Vermont chapter of the club get together for a meeting and potluck at the Montgomery Town Hall, 57:30 p.m. Free. Info, 244-7037.

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” RUSSIAN MUSIC CO N CERT: Natasha Koval Paden plays a program of Russian piano works. Concert Hall, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: Student flutists pipe up in a concert of diverse works. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603646-2422.

etc

‘A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE’: See April 20. ‘TINTYPES’: See April 19, 5 p.m. VARIETY SHOW AUDI-

VERNAL POOL FIELD TRIP: See April 20, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. EARTH DAY CELEBRA TION: Feel a burst of alterna

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art • See exhibit openings in the art listings. ‘PRESENTING COSTUME’: In conjunction with the “Hats, Fashion and Fine Art” exhibit, Margaret Spicer speaks about costumes on stage, in film and in the museum. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2808.

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turbed Danish family this side of Elsinore.” Dana Auditorium, Middlebury College, 3 & 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. ‘THE WAR ZONE’: Tim Roth directed this tale of a family torn apart by incest. A discus sion follows the first screening. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422. ‘CRADLE WILL ROCK’: Orson Welles, John Houseman and Diego Rivera have key parts in Tim Robbins’ story about the Depression-era Federal Theater Project. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

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SEVEN DAYS

page 31

TIONS: Comics, poets, musi cians and entertainers of all sorts get a shot at a slot on a public access show. Richmond, 1-4 p.m. Free. Register for directions and time, 434-2604.

The Jazz of Theatre Learn to improvise. You’ll use the best technique ever developed to create comedy and drama. You’ll stretch your imagination, build confidence and poise. It’s easy, and it’s incredible fun.

film ‘SEVEN’: Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman team up to track down a serial killer. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 6:45 & 9:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

%\ My name is Nancy Ponder. Come work with me. I’m a former partner of Jerry Stiller, Mike Nichols, Alan Arkin... Weekly classes 7 to 9 pm, begin in May, and are given in ten week blocks. The fee is $10 / per class. '

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

To register and for futher information, call Nancy Ponder 425-2458

kids STORYTIME: See April 22.

etc WINE TASTING: See April 15.

NOBODY ELSE CAN GIVE HER THIS KIND OF GIFT!

Our Studio o ffers you: • Flat studio fees— no hourly rates— no extra paint charges • Knowledgeable s ta ff to help you achieve your painting design • Over 300 pottery designs to choose from • Convenient, ample parking

Put your child's handprint on a tea-for-one set made for a special Mom. Bring in all the grandkids and put their hand prints on a cookie jar for that te rrif ic Grandma. What bet ter gift can there be? S T U D IO HOURS: Sunday: 12-5 Tues., Wed., 4 Sat.: 10-6 Thurs., 4 Fri.: 10-9

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• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” SMALL ENSEMBLES CO N CERT: Select student groups finish the semester on a strong note. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040. CHAMBER MUSIC CO N CERT: A student ensemble plays Brahms’ Sextet in B Major. Concert Hall, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. DYLAN: An open stage fol

lows a performance of original music by the local singer-song writer. Horn of the Moon Cafe, Montpelier, 8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5342. CHAMPLAIN ECHOES: Harmonious women compare notes at a weekly rehearsal of the all-female barbershop cho rus. The Pines, Dorset St., S. Burlington, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-5900.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings. ‘CELEBRATING EARTH DAY THROUGH THE ARTS’: A special tour takes in artworks that make statements about the human impact on the environment. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 443-5007.

words ‘READING REAL LIFE’ BOOK GROUP: Realist read ers discuss Thomas Cahill’s history of How the Irish Saved Civilization. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

kids ‘MUSIC WITH ROBERT AND GIGI’: Kids sing songs with Robert Resnik and his fiddle-playing friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

etc SPRING BLOOD DRIVE: See April 19, 7:30 a.m. - 1 p.m. FARMERS MARKET PLAN NING MEETING: Vendors and friends set a summer

schedule and discuss the open ing celebration and communi ty outreach of the Old North End market. Community Action, 191 North Street, Burlington, 9-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 863-6248. ELDER ENRICHMENT LECTURE SERIES: UVM political science prof Frank Bryan speaks about humor in Vermont politics. S. Burling ton Community Library, 3 p.m. $5. Info, 863-5980. WORKER’S RIGHTS: Employees facing discrimina tion, unsafe working condi tions, insurance problems and other labor issues get help from an advocate at the Worker’s Rights Center, Bur lington City Hall, 4:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7184. NETWORKING GROUP: Employee hopefuls get job leads, connections, skills and support. Career Resource Center, Vermont Department of Employment & Training, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 652-0322. PUBLIC MEDITATION: Take a step on the path to enlightenment in an environ ment that instructs beginners and supports practiced thinkers. Ratna Shri Tibetan Meditation Center, 12 Hillside Ave., Montpelier, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5435. BATTERED WOMEN’S SUPPORT GROUP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996.

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• Please limit your design to no more than four colors. • You may submit a sketch, computer image (preferably Mac), design or drawing ‘H olistic ‘B oots • No larger than 8" x 10" • Please submit a black, line art copy with your colored copy (make a photocopy of the original before adding color). • All designs must be submitted to the Vermont Expos office by May 19,2000. • All designs become the property of the Vermont Expos and cannot be returned • You can either deliver your submission to The Locker Room on the 2nd floor of the Champlain Mill in Winooski or mail it to : Vermont Expos, 1 Main Street, Suite #4, Winooski, VT 05404 • One best design will be chosen by the Vermont Expos

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page 32

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m actin g ACTOR’S STUDIO: Two Fridays, June 16 and 23, 6-9 p.m. and two Saturdays and Sundays, June 17, 18, 24 and 25, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Grace Kiley’s Vermont Actor’s Workshop, Williston Central School. Register, 864-0119. Through focused exercises, actors practice performance technique and scene study. TEENAGE ACTING: Monday through Friday, July 10 through 14, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Grace Kiley’s Vermont Actor’s Workshop, Williston Central School. Register, 864-0119. Teenage actors study improvisation, act ing technique and auditioning.

aikido AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN VAL LEY: Adults, Monday through Friday, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m. Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 4-5 p.m. Aikido o f Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., W inooski. $55/m onth, $120/three months, intro specials. Info, 654-6999 or www.aikidovt.org. Study this graceful, flow ing m artial art to develop flexibility, confidence and self-defense skills. AIKIDO OF VERMONT: O ngoing classes Monday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m. Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m. Sunday, 10-11:30 a.m. Above O nion River Co-op, 274 N . Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art o f Aikido in a safe and supportive environment.

aromatherapy SPA NIGHT: Thursday, April 20, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Star Root, Battery St., Burlington. $10-15. Register, 862-4421. Pamper yourself fo r a night — seated massage, foot reflexology and facials w ill be available.

art BEGINNING WATERCOLOR: Saturday, April 29, 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Artists’ Mediums, Taft Farm Village Ctr., Williston. Info, 879-1236. Kathy Bergeron teaches watercolor painting to beginners.

OIL PAINTING FUNDAMEN TALS: Four Thursdays, May 4 through 25, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $100. Register, 865-7166. Tad Spurgeon teaches adidts from a disciplined, semiclassical m odel beginning in mono chrome and working up to a f i l l palette. BEGINNING WATERCOLOR: Six Thursdays, May 4 through June 8, 79 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $100. Info, 865-7166. Jean Cannon teaches artists with prior drawing experience.

INTRO TO EGG TEMPERA: Saturday, May 6, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $15. Info, 865-7166. Tad Spurgeon teaches basic painting techniques fo r this straightforward and subtle medium.

business ‘GETTING SERIOUS’: Four Wednesdays, May 3, 10, 17 and 24. Women’s Small Business Program, Trinity College, Burlington. $115, grants available. Info, 846-7160. Explore the possibilities and realities o f business ownership, assess your skills and interests and develop a business idea.

co o kin g ‘THE JOY OF SOY’: Thursday, April 20, 9:30 a.m., Monday, May 15, 6:30 p.m. and Tuesday, May 16,

9:30 a.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Incorporate soy into your diet to reduce risk o f cancer and heart disease.

‘WRITE YOUR OWN DIET’: Monday, May 1, 6:30 p.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Adjust your eating patterns fo r long-term weight-loss.

‘IDEAL WEIGHT FOREVER’: Tuesday, May 2, 9:30 a.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Control your “ f ood triggers” with portion control and calorie-cut ting cooking.

‘DISHES WITH FISHES’: Wednesday and Thursday, May 10 and 11, 9:30 a.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Learn how to buy and prepare nutri tious fish.

craft HAND-BUILDING WITH CLAY: Thursday, April 27, Kids 3-4:30 p.m., Adults 5:30-7 p.m. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. $75/four classes. Register, 652-0102. This course covers coil, pinch pot and slab construction as well as painting a nd glazing. BEADED EARRINGS: Saturday, April 29, 3-4:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Bookstore, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 660-8060. Experiment with beads o f different col ors and sizes to make earrings o f your own design.

PAINTING CERAMICS: Ongoing classes. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-0102. Learn the fundam entals o f painting ceramics. POTTERY & SCULPTURE: All ages and abilities, group classes, privare lessons, studio rental. Day, evening and weekend offerings. Vermont Clay Studio, 2802 Rt. 100, Waterbury Center. Register, 2241126 ext. 41. Enjoy the pleasures and challenges o f working with clay, whether you've had a lot, a Little or no experience. POTTERY: Classes beginning the first week in May. River Street Potters, 141 River St., Montpelier. Info, 224-7000. Take a variety o f classes, including a handbuilding one focused on works fo r the garden.

dance SWING: Classes beginning Sunday,

Burlington. $25. Info, 865-HERB. Learn how herbs can alleviate morning sickness, iron deficiency and other ail ments associated w ith pregnancy. GARDENING: O ngoing classes. Bramblewood Herbs and Gardens, Hinesburg. Info, 482-3500. An herbal apprenticeship program and other gardening classes are offered.

ju gglin g JUGGLING CLUB: Ongoing Mondays, 5-7 p.m. Basement o f Memorial Auditorium, Burlington. Free. Info, 863-4969. Beginner-toexpert jugglers and unicyclists convene.

kendo KENDO: Ongoing Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren Town Hall. Donations. Info, 496-4669. Develop focus, control and power through this Japanese samu rai sword-fencing m artial art.

kids OPEN STUDIO: Saturday, May 13, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $10. Register, 865-7166. Heather Ward helps six- to 10-year-olds explore special projects in media o f their

PSYCHIATRIC SUPPORT GROUP: Thursdays, 7 p.m. Various Burlington locations. Free. Info, 2881006. Get peer support fo r depression, anxiety or other psychiatric illness.

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 863-2655. Overeaters meet fo r support around fo o d and health issues.

SEX AND LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS: Sundays, 7 p.m.

reiki 6:30-8:30 p.m Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. W inooski Ave., Burlington. Donation. Register, 660-8060. Experience Reiki, an ancient, noninvasive healing technique which origi nated in the East.

Free. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, Burlington, 05402. Get help through this weekly 12-step program.

VT. RESOLVE INFERTILITY SUPPORT GROUP: Wednesday,

language

BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU AND CARDIOBOXING: O ngoing classes

w eigh t-lo ss

SPANISH: Individual instruction, beginner to advanced. Burlington area. $20/hour. Info, 338-5532. Learn or improve your Spanish speak ing using newspapers, books, songs and movies from Latin America. ITALIAN: Group and individual instruction, beginner to advanced, all ages. Middlebury area. Info, 5452676. Immerse yourself in Italian to get ready fo r a trip abroad, or to better enjoy the country’s music, art and cui-

ITALIAN: Ongoing individual and group classes, beginner to advanced, adults and children. Burlington. Info, 865-4795. Learn to speak this beauti f u l language from a native speaker and experienced teacher. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listen ing, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

m assage MASSAGE: Fall enrollment is under

ZEN MEDITATION: Mondays, 4:45-5:45 p.m., Thursdays, 5:306:30 p.m. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-6466. Meditate with a sitting group associated with the Zen Affiliate o f Vermont. Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and movement. MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan

for men, women and children, Monday through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Info, 6604072. Escape fear with an integrated self-defense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

‘SLIM INTO SUMMER’: Twelve

spirit

wine

‘INTRO TO PAST LIFE REGRES SION’: Saturday, April 22, 1-3 p.m.

WINE TASTING: Friday, April 21,

Rising Sun, 35 King St., Burlington. Free. Register, 860-728 6 . Learn about past-life regression and experience one o f your form er selves. ‘JOURNEY FORTH’: Five Wednesdays, April 26, May 3, 10, 24 and 31, 6-7:45 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $60-80 sliding fee scale. Info, 660-8060. “Journey” in a safe and supportive environment.

‘EMPOWERING YOUR CRE ATIVE VISION’: Saturday, April 29, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Rising Sun, 35 King St., Burlington. $75. Register, 8607286. Writers, artists and visionaries remove blocks to creativity through hyp notherapy and “energy teachings. ” ‘SPIRITUAL RENEWAL’: Sunday, April 30, 11 a.m. - 4 p.m. Forest’s Edge, Warren. $60. Info, 496-9022. Participate in a small-group journey combining visualization, kabbalah and Native-American vision quest.

Mondays, May 1 through July 17, 5:30-7 p.m. Burlington. $20/day. Info, 658-9553 or www.ClaudiaM ullin.com . Focus on reducing com pulsive eating while improving your body image.

6:30-7:30 p.m. W ine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington. $20. Info, 951W IN E. Taste a pack o f pink wines.

women ‘WOMEN HELPING’ VOLUN TEER TRAINING: Two Saturdays, April 29 and May 6, Thursday and Tuesday, May 4 and 9. Burlington. Register, 658-3131. Train to be a vol unteer fo r Women Helping Battered Women.

‘TAKING CHARGE’: Six Thursdays, May 4 through June 8, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Palmer and Associates, 431 Pine St., Burlington. Info, 863-4478. Women learn practi cal ways to reach goals and dreams that allow them “to move forw ard in life. ”

yoga SPRING CLEANING WITH KUNDALINI YOGA: Saturday, April 29, 2-5 a.m. Movement Center, 7 Court St., Montpelier. $24. Info, 234-6528. Learn yoga postures used fo r

sport

centuries to “cleanse” the body.

ROCK CLIMBING: Daily classes,

S. BURLINGTON YOGA:

beginner to advanced. Petra Cliffs Climbing Center, 105 Briggs St., Burlington. $40-60 private lessons. Register, 65-PETRA. Develop strength, flexibility and balance with indoor rock climbing.

Five Thursdays, May 4 through June 1, 6-8 p.m. 119 S. W inooski Ave., Burlington. $20/day. Register, 8628240. Women get together fo r support, inspiration and spiritual connection.

O ngoing Classes. Barrett St., S. Burlington. Info, 658-3766. Focus on stretching, breathing, relaxation and centering with Hatha yoga. UNION STREET STUDIO: Daily classes for all levels. 306 S. Union St„ Burlington. Info, 860-3991. Practice Astanga, K ali Ray a n d Kripalu styles w ith certified instructors A nn Burdreski, Arlene Griffin and Lisa Limoge. YMCA YOGA: O ngoing classes. j=,; YMCA, College St., Burlington. y V y in fo , 862-9622. Take classes in various

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS:

yoga styles.

YOGA VERMONT: Daily c k g p ^ ‘

support groups WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUP:

herbs

Buddhist meditations.

Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 658-4221. Want to over come a drinking problem l Take the first step — o f 12 — and jo in a group in

‘HERBS FOR PREGNANCY’:

MEDITATION: Thursdays, 7-8:30

your area.

Tuesday, April 25, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Main St.,

p.m. Green Mountain Learning

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS:

Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203,

O ngoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First

repatterning.

O ngoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, 8624516. I f you’re ready to stop using drugs, this group o f recovering addicts can offer inspiration.

self-defense

THE WAY OF THE SUFI’:

5:30-7 p.m. and Wednesdays, 8-9:30 a.m. Burlington. Info, 951-2089. Learn to prevent and reduce stress using gentle movement, breathing techniques, meditation, guided imagery and habit

INSTRUCTION: Classes, work shops and private instruction. Info, 372-3104. Take classes in creative and technical camera and darkroom skills while learning to “see” with a photo graphic eye.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS:

choosing.

healing

STRESS SOLUTIONS: Tuesdays,

photography

Congregational Church, N. W inooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 655-6512. Do you have a frien d or relative w ith an alcohol problem? Alcoholics Anonymous can help.

May 3, 6-8 p.m. N ew England Federal Credit Union, Taft Corner, W illiston. Info, 657-2542. Talk with others about infertility issues.

meditation

health

Sunday, May 19 through 21. Info, 865-2247 or 482-6438. This support group allows men to be heard in a safe and supportive environment.

REIKI CLINIC: Thursday, April 20,

way. Touchstone Healing Arts School o f Massage, 35 King St., Burlington. Info, 658-7715. Take classes to become a massage practitioner. FOOT REFLEXOLOGY: Ongoing classes. S. Burlington Yoga Studio, Barrett St. Info, 658-3766. Learn this fu n and easy form o f acu-pressure foot massage from a certified reflexologist.

p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. W inooski Ave., Burlington. $10. Info, 660-8060. Get acquainted with the “Ten Ways to Love Yourself.”

men ‘MEN ALIVE’: Friday through

May 14. Burlington. $40/person. Info, 862-9033. Learn Hollywoodstyle swing in this six-week series. SWING: Four Thursdays, April 27 through May 18, Beginners 6:307:30 p.m., Advanced 7:30-8:30 p.m. Holley Hall, Bristol. $32. Register, 453-5885. Learn a variety o f dance patterns, including the Lindy Hop, as well as proper leading and following techniques.

‘LOVE YOURSELF, HEAL YOUR LIFE’: Monday, April 24, 6:30-8

W illiston. Free. Info, 872-3797. D on’t ju st do something, sit there! GUIDED MEDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided medi tation fo r relaxation and focus.

. A jC '

noon, 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a .m ,. r. ’ Chace Mill, Burlington. 9718 or yogavermont.com. "'Style “pow er”yoga classes offer sweaty fu n fo r a ll levels o f experience.

april 19, 2000

SEVEN DAYS

i■••1

words

Continued from page 32

‘W O M EN AND DESIRE’: Local Jungian analyst Polly Young-Eisendrath discusses her latest book on women getting beyond “wanting to be wanted.” Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774. BETHANY’S BOOK GROUP: Newcomers get the facts on joining the fiction-read ing roundtable. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. GREG DELANTY: The Irish poet reads from his most recent collection of verse, The Hellbox. Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2878. BURLINGTON WRITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9647.

uesday

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’• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” ACOUSTIC JAM: Unplug and unwind during a musical evening at the Daily Bread Bakery, Richmond, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-4606. UNIVERSITY C ONCERT CHOIR: The student group pipes up in a concert of diverse works. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040. TAINO: The multi-cultural group shares the music and cul ture of Central and South America in a public workshop. Cambridge Elementary School, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-2233. HARLEM SPIRITUAL ENSEMBLE: Led by local gospel guru Francois Clemmons, the vocal group sings spirituals in jubilee style. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $18.50. Info, 603-646-2422.

kids STORYTIME: See April 19, 10 a.m. & 1 p.m. ‘MAGIC TREE HOUSE ADVENTURE’: Kids hear Dingoes at Dinnertime, part of a book series blending history and mystery. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

etc SPRING BLOOD DRIVE: See April 19. COM M UNITY MEDICAL SCHOOL: An anatomy and neurobiology professor explores the inner workings of the brain, with a focus on vision. Carpen ter Auditorium, Given Medical Building, UVM, Burlington, 67 p.m. Free. Register, 847-2886. SUGAR-ON-SNOW PARTY: Sample the sweet stuff while lis tening to the music of Atlantic Crossing. Bailey Howe Library, UVM, Burlington, 11:30 a.m. 3 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2005. FACULTY LECTURE SERIES: Associate Dean Robert Letovsky speaks about the growing aerospace industry in Quebec. Farrell Rm., St. Edmunds Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, noon. Free. Info, 654-2535. JC IE N C E EDUCATION TALK: The chairman and founder of Earthwatch Institute discusses community-based con servation efforts and citizen involvement. Montshire Museum, Norwich, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 649-2200. FRENCH CONVERSATION GROUP: Freshen up your French, with a Quebecois accent, in this informal social cercle at Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 6 p.m.

Free. Info, 660-9823. FATHERS AND CHILDREN TOGETHER: Dads and kids spend quality time together during a weekly meeting at the Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 5-7 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SUP PORT GROUP: Battered Women Services and Shelter facilitates a group in M ont pelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0855. OVEREATERS ANONY MOUS: Addicted to eating? Food abuse is on the table at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2655.

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• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” TAINO: The multi-cultural group performs traditional music of Central and South America. Cambridge Elemen tary School, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 644-2233. STUDENT CONCERT: Students perform solo piano works of Beethoven, Schubert, Chopin and Mendelssohn. Concert Hall, Middlebury

College Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: Pianist Daniel Bruce and flutist Rebecca Bruce play duets in Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama ‘TINTYPES’: See April 19.

film ‘TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY’ DOUBLE FEATURE: In Hiroshima, Mon Amour, a French woman and a Japanese man share memories of World War II during their weekend affair. A switchboard operator, and a rat-catcher team up for a tragi-comic romance in Love Affair. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 8:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See April 12.

words ‘FLASH FIC TIO N 500’: Writers offer original short sto ries in the poetry slam tradition,

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Borders moment no 07 0 age in Vermont and the likeli hood of a recurrence. See “to do” list, this issue. Memorial Lounge, Waterman Building, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. * Free. Info, 656-4389. CENTRAL AMERICA PRO GRAM OPEN HOUSE: Along with a slide show and photography exhibit, Pete Shear speaks about the region’s changing culture in a talk enti tled “Bananas and the Backstreet Boys.” Burlington College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9616. ‘N O T IN O U R NAME’: Sr. Dianna Ortiz, an Ursuline nun who was kidnapped, raped and tortured in Guatemala in 1989, speaks about human rights. Mann Hall Auditorium, Trinity College, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 846-7195. CIVIL U N IO N LECTURE: Yale history prof Nancy Cott puts the “traditional” institu tion in historical perspective and discusses the future of marriage. Dewey Lounge, Old Mill Building, UVM, Burling ton, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-4556. SLIDE LECTURE: Author and illustrator Barbara Bash shares slides of her art and speaks about writing about the natural world — for children. North Lounge, Billings Student Cen ter, UVM, Burlington, 7:30-

allowing audience judges to keep score. Rhombus Gal-lery, 186 College St., Burling-ton, 8 p.m. for spectators. 7:30 for readers. $5. Info, 983-2314. POETRY READING: Local bards Nora Mitchell and Emily Skoler read from their respec tive works. Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. PARENTING BOOK GROUP: A roundtable of readers discusses Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers by Michael Riera. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

kids SONG & STORYTIME: See April 19. ‘RUMPLESTILTSKIN’: The “Traveling Storyteller” presents a puppet version of the fairy tale with songs and audience participation. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

etc SPRING BLOOD DRIVE: See April 19. D R O U G H T LECTURE: Geography prof Lesley-Ann Dupigny-Giroux discusses the effects of last year’s water short

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8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 434-4077. NATIONAL BEREAVE M ENT TELECONFER ENCE: Cokie Roberts moder ates a panel devoted to the sub ject of children and adolescents dealing with loss. All Saints Episcopal Church, S. Burling ton, 1:30-4 p.m. Free. Register, 658-1900. M EN’S DISCUSSION NIGHT: Men speak out on the subject of sexual violence at a facilitated forum. Unitarian Universalist Church, Burling ton, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0555. ‘A MELIA’S LAST LEC TURE’: Linda Myer takes on the role of Amelia Earhart in a performance based on the speeches and writings of the aviatrix. Rutland Free Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 773-1860. ® Calendar is written by Gwenn

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KIDS CELEBRATE THE EARTH, children’s artworks that celebrate the Earth. Flynndog Gallery, Burlington, 652-9985. Reception April 22, 3 p.m. COMPLETING THE PICTURE: HATS, FASHION AND FINE ART, paintings, photographs and man nequins featuring millinery fash ions from 1820-1930. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-6462808. Lecture and reception April 22, 4 p.m. HEAD START ART SHOW, works by local preschoolers. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Reception April 26, 5-7 p.m.

i n

B U R LIN G TO N A R E A PETER CLAVELLE & BERNIE SANDERS, paintings of the local politicians by Melissa Connor, and a group portrait depicting artists and writers of Vermont. Red Square, Burlington, 862-1449. Through May 15. DIRTY DREAMS, works by stu dents of the centers pottery and clay sculpture program. Living/Learning Center, UVM, Burling ton, 656-4200. Through May 4. MICHAEL M0NTANAR0, past and present works in watercolor, acrylic, pencil and more. Beverly’s Cafe, Burlington, 862-5515. Through May. CULTURE ON THE MOVE: GHANA TO VERMONT, works by contem porary Ghanaian artists. Shelburne Craft School, 985-3648. Through April. STUDENT TEACHERS, an exhibi tion of works showing stages of

graphic representation in children’s art. Colburn Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-2014. Through April 21. EVELYN in watercolor and pastel. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 864-8001. Through April. THE STATIONS OF THE CROSS, drawings in graphite on paper by Richard Clark. Cathedral Church of St. Paul, Burlington, 864-0471. Through April 22. MIRIAM ADAMS, graphite and watercolor works accompanied by poetry. Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 482-2878. Through April. CULTURE ON THE MOVE: GHANA TO VERMONT, works by contem porary Ghanaian artists. Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211, and Arts Alive, Burlington, 864-1557. Through April. ASPARAGUS, handmade prints and lithographs by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 8652563. Through May 30. CIRCUS, ETC., 2000, paintings by local children on carnival and cir cus themes. Alley Cat Arts, 416 Pine St., Burlington, 865-5079. Through May 1. SIDE BY SIDE, gold-and-gemstone jewelry by Rob Greene and paint ings by Susan Osmond. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through April. CAROL BOUCHER, monotypes and pastels, and SHEILA H0LLENDER, photographs. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through April. L.J. K0PF, collages, drawings and graphic narratives. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 863-1512. Through April, by appointment. HORSE LEGS, an installation by

Tom Shea. One-Wall Gallery, j Seven Days, Burlington, 8645684. Through May 15. ELDER ART SHOW, featuring art works in mixed media. Williston Public Library, 878-4918. Through April. JANET MCKENZIE, recent paint ings, including “Jesus of the , f> People.” Blue Heron Gallery, S. Burlington, 863-1866. Through April 19. JOAN CURTIS, works in colored pencil and acrylic, and DAVID UTIGER, paintings. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 9853848. Through May 9. WOMEN’S RAPE CRISIS ART SHOW, works by local artists for Sexual Violence Awareness Month. Daily Planet, Burlington, 8640555. Through April. MICHAEL SMITH, acrylic and mixed-media paintings with a twist of surrealism. The Gallery Upstairs, Hinesburg, 482-6380. Through April. SI BUSCABAS, watercolors depict ing El Salvador by Carol Norton. Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 655-0231. Through April 26. ORGANIC GEOMETRY, works by Jane Masters, Susan Smereka and Sumru Tekin. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 8657166. Through April 23. IT’S ABOUT TIME: Contemporary and traditional handcrafted time pieces by Vermont artisans. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Burlington, 863-6458. Through May 7. WINTER FINALE, rice paper and watercolor works by Celeste Forcier. Finale Salon, S. Burlington, 862-0713. Through May 15. HEAD SHOTS, recent figurative

m m

paintings by Ethan Murrow. Art Space 150 at The Men’s Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Through April. A WRITER’S VISION: Prints, draw ings and watercolors by Nobel Prize-winning writer Gunter Grass. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 4. MARTHA OGDEN BENJAMIN, paintings. Better Bagel, Taft Corner, Williston. 879-2808. Through April. ORNAMENT AND DECORATION/MATERIALS AND MOTIFS: An exhibit of multi-cultural, everyday objects that show theories of orna mentation and decoration. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 4. RICK SUTTA, oil paintings “with impact.” Rick Sutta Gallery, Burlington, 860-7506. Ongoing.

CHAMPLAIN ¥ A L L E ¥ ENVISIONING SPRING, paintings, drawings and pottery by six local artists. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 877-3668. Through May 17. ELDER ART SHOW, featuring art works in mixed media. Grist Mill, Bristol, 453-5885. Through April. ARTISTS AND THEIR CHILDREN, works by parent and child artists. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 388-4095. Through April. TIME TO GET DRESSED, clothing and wearable art by Vermont fiber artists Dia Jenks, Mary Lynn O ’Shea, Lynn Yarrington and Ellen Spring. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Middlebury, 388-3177. Through May 15. norzilhV/ j h .j-jx'i.' ■y.v

C EN TR A L V ER M O N T CERAMIC EGGS in bright colors by Barking Spider Pottery of North Carolina. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Through April 23. WATERC0L0R MASTERS OF GHANA, paintings by five contem porary Ghanaian artists. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 244-2233. Through April. STILL LIVES, works in oil and pas tel by Jan Ghiringhelli. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 229-0522. Through April. MEMBERS EXHIBITION, works by more than 200 area artists. Chaffee Center for the Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Through April. VESSELS THAT POUR, handcraft ed containers by regional artists. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury Center, 244-1126. Through April 29. IN BLACK AND WHITE, landscape prints by Claire Van Vliet, and FRIENDS OF THE WOOD, new work in various media by five local artists. T.W. Wood Art Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through April. 19TH-CENTURY PRINTS FROM THE PERMANENT COLLECTION, featuring etchings and engravings by Thomas Waterman Wood. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 8288743. Through July 30. AXEL ST0HLBERG, paintings. Vermont Arts Council, Mont pelier, 828-3291. Through April. VERMONT HAND CRAFTERS: Work by local artisans. Vermont By Design Gallery, Waterbury,

*5. >■ *

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244-7566. Ongoing. LOCAL ARTISANS, works by Vermont potters, sculptors and quiltmakers. Blinking Light Gallery, Plainfield, 454-1571. Ongoing. ALICE ECKLES, a permanent changing exhibit of selected paint ings and prints. The Old School House Common, Marshfield, 4568993. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing.

NORTHERN CULTURE ON THE MOVE: GHANA TO VERMONT, works by contem porary Ghanaian artists. Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 6352727. Through April. SACRED BUFFALO, a buffalo skele ton carved with scenes from Lakota Sioux traditions. Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 7482372. Through August. ELDER ART SHOW, works in mixed media by artists 55 and older. St. Albans City Hall, 5241519. Through April. ALLOCATION, paintings and pho tographs by Alexandra Bottinelli and Robert McCann. Catamount Arts Gallery, St. Johnsbury, 7482600. Through April. STUDENT ART SHOW: Fine arts students display works in various media. Dewey Student Center, Johnson State College, 635-1310. Through April. ELDER ART SHOW, works in mixed media by artists 55 and older. North Hero Town Hall, 372-4237. Through April. KAREN WINSLOW, realist por traits, landscapes and still life paintings. Vermont Fine Art, Stowe, 253-9653. Through April. 19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS, including landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Ongoing.

ELS EW H ER E SCREENS & SCROLLS, Japanese paintings from the 13th through the 19th century. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Through June 18. GENEVIEVE CADIEUX, photo graphic and acoustic installations and sculptures. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 514-285-1600. Through July 2. JEAN DALLAIRE, paintings, draw ings and photos. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 514-2851600. Through April. (Z)

PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all o f the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted. Send art listings to galleries@sevendaysvt.com. You can also view art listings at www. sevendaysvt.com.

the G O I Collector,” is a satirical portrait of an art collec tor in the streets of Accra, across from the National Theater build ing. The subject is fat, white and burdened by various artworks, such as a carved Ashanti akua-ba doll under her arm. An artist in sun glasses and dreads grins and offers her more art. The figures loom large over the street scene, filling the left of the canvas. But Tarrot’s art is about more than cari cature; his pieces are dense with vibrant pat “Maiden,” by Francis Mensah terning and interwoven warm and cool colors. Also at the Fletcher, By Marc Awodey “Disagreement O O ,” by Kojo Ani, is a large acrylic painting of hen Vermont artist quarreling neighbors. It is some Donna Stafford visited what flattened despite its steep Ghana, she fell in love with the cultural life of that small perspective. A standing woman at the left argues with another in a West African republic. After window on the right side of the months of discussions that went canvas. They’re separated by a to the highest levels of Ghanaian narrow street filled with an ongovernment, her idea of bringing rushing crowd. The colors are Ghana’s culture — music, dance direct and raw — a red skirt, a and visual art — to Vermont has blue blouse, an orange wall. become real. As part of “Cele In contrast, “Mask Parade,” brating the Arts — Ghana to by Anane Asare, is a coolly Vermont,” six venues around the sophisticated piece. Asare varies state have been curated by the intensity of his hues while Widdup Coubagy of the working with outlines similar to National Theater of Ghana. Most Otoo’ s. Asare’s lines are more del of the artwork is as influenced by icate, almost dribbles of paint. contemporary international styles Each plane of color is a geometric as by African regional traditions. matrix to build upon rather than At Burlington’s Union an atmosphere for the figures to Station, a humorous, five-foot live in. wooden sculpture, “Turkey,” is Large-scale acrylics by Mark painted by Paa Joe in a folksy, Buku, showing at the Vermont colorful style. Paa Joe is reported Studio Center in Johnson, also ly recognized internationally as a consist of figures in ethereal “leading carver of surreal coffins.” abstract spaces. “Trinity” depicts It seems like putting one of his three soldiers in fezzes and pieces into the ground would be Bermuda shorts against sheets of tragic enough without a funeral. color — rose, yellows, cerulean Larry Otoo’s figurative, geo

metric paintings, such as his acrylic “Jazz,” use a narrow range of colors to define planes beneath rugged out lines of white and black. Also at Union Station are works by Frank Asomani that are clearly influenced by neo-German Expressionists, The agitated brushwork and exaggerated features of three heads in his untitled acrylic painting show that Ghanaian works are far from immune to modernist trends. Works by Tarrot — a.k.a. Daniel Mensa — have a similar edge. One of his pieces at the Fletcher Free Library, “The

in orange, magenta, black and green bleed together in his ges tural wet-on-wet watercolor titled “Come Closer.” Tetteh’s “Respect” is equally lush. In this, he layered cool colors over warm ones to build an image of two nearly invisible figures on a wooded path at sunset. The sky behind his mountains and trees changes incrementally from crim son to a deep blue. At Johnson, the mixed-media “Warriors,” by Hacajaka, con tains distinctly Ghanaian influ ences. “Warriors” is a long, hori zontal piece of 15 masked war riors with shields arrayed into a flat pattern across the painting. There are small bits of metalwork incorporated into it that recall the exceptional castings of the Akan people. But carver and painter Francis Mensah is the artist most influenced by indige nous cultural resources — includ ing the African voodoo traditions of Benin. Mensah’s works are showing at several locations in addition to the one in Johnson: He has a solo sculpture show at the University of Vermont Center for Cultural Pluralism, and his works are in the Leasafric corpo rate collection presented at St. Michael’s College. Mensah’s sculptures are like votive figures, but brightly paint ed and of varying sizes, from a few inches to more than a foot tall. His paintings are almost monochromatic in comparison, using the colors of clay — red oxide, raw umber and ochers — against which central groups of forms are set. “Primitive Sign” seems wholly composed of ancient symbols and so is totally abstract, but it’s abstraction with a specific spiritual iconography. In other works, Mensah adds clumps of straw, encaustic and burlap, as human and animal forms emerge from his earthy red

“Trinity” depicts three soldiers in fezzes and Bermuda shorts against sheets of color — rose, yellows, cerulean blue. blue. The Studio Center gallery and the Mist Grill Gallery in Waterbury display several of the most accomplished works:Watercolorist Edmund Tetteh ; was trained at the Slade School of Art in London, and his works at V the Mist Grill show him to be a masterful technician willing to experiment. Five sketchy figures V

paintings. * “Celebrating the Arts — Ghana to Vermont” has brought two very different places a little > Bit closer. Nevertheless, after that foot and a half of snow we got U. last week the visiting Ghanaian 7 artists are probably thinking . 1, ^ there’s no place like home. (Z) 'UM

“Celebrating the Arts — Ghana to Vermont,” venues around the state. Through April

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HUSTLERS Cool hands Newman and Fiorentino prove they’re nobody’s fools. WHERE THE MONEY IS***

VIDEO 2000

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Somewhere along the line someone had to have considered calling this The Last Seduction, given its got Linda Fiorentino bewitching guys into showing her the money once more, and that one of the guys is 75-year-old Paul Newman. Because, realistically, how many more times are we likely to see the living legend putting the moves on a sexy young woman up there on the big screen? Time waits for no man. Not even Newman. The gray fox is as great to watch as ever here, even if Where the Money Is isn’t always where the great screenwriting is. Newman plays an aging bankrobber who has a brainstorm. He gets his hands on a bunch of books about meditation, tantric philosophy and mind control from the prison library (where was this guy doing time, any way, Penn State?) and trains himself to fake the symptoms of a stroke. Because the jail’s infirmary happens to be one bed short — the first of too many too-convenient coincidences — he’s trans ferred to a nearby nursing home. Fiorentino’s a for mer prom queen who finds herself emptying bedpans, married to her dullish high school sweetheart (Dermot Mulroney) and bored out of her Dr. Scholls. Though we’re never told why, she immediately suspects that something’s up with her new patient, does some digging into his background and, in a particularly entertaining scene, gets him to ’fess up. It’s a lot more gratifying to watch Paul Newman sip a cold one and wax about the good old days than it is to see him mute and shriveled in a wheelchair, naturally, so the film’s finest moments are those in

which Fiorentino talks him into coming out of retirement and the two — along with third-wheel Mulroney — plan an armored car job. You can practically see the old guy come back to life as Fiorentino gives him a transfusion of sexually charged mischievousness. For all its many flaws, the movie deserves rec ommendation on the basis of its casting and the chemistry between Newman and Fiorentino. I mean, compare this with the May-December meatheadedness of, say, Entrapment— in which Catherine Zeta-Jones lusts after a semicadaverous Sean Connery, and the pair plans a high-tech heist. Suddenly Where the Money Is starts looking like ^ Gone With the Wind. As heist sagas go, though, this is a more than passable character study. Its stars and their charm aside, there isn’t a whole lot happening besides a screwball storyline that pivots on too many kooky coincidences and too much unexplained motiva tion. If you’re surprised by even one of the picture’s plot developments, you probably haven’t seen the inside of a cineplex since a ticket cost under five bucks and the stuff they put on popcorn was actu ally a distant cousin of butter. Call me sentimental. Newman is worth the price of admission all by himself, and the fact that he’s not all by himself but with someone as steamy as Fiorentino is just pure gravy. The guy can give an acting workshop just by walking into a room. Any weekend I’m presented with a choice between the hunk or babe du jour and an old pro like Newman, I’m going to order up the classic every time. (Z)

F IL M S S T A R T FRIDAY, A P R IL 21 ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 showtimes All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. "Indicates new film.

NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863 - 9515 . R u le s o f E n g a g e m e n t 1 , 3 : 50 , 6 :30 , 9 : 10 . A m e ric a n P sy ch o 1:20 , 4 :30 , 7 : 15 , 9 :30 . H ig h F id e lity 1 :30 , 4 : 15 , 7 , 9 : 50 . E rin B ro c k o v ic h 12 :40 , 3 :40 , 6 :40 , 9 :40 . B o y s D o n ’t C ry 1: 10 , 4 , 6 : 50 , 9 :20 . C id e r H o u se R u le s 12 : 50 , 3 :30 , 6 : 20 , 9 . Matinees Sat-Sun only.

CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864 - 5610 . U - 571 * 12 : 50 , 3 : 50 , 7 , 9 : 50 . G o s s ip * 12 : 15 , 2 :35 , 4 :45 , 7 :20 , 9 : 55 . W h e re th e H ea rt Is* 7:30 (Sat only). F re q u e n c y * 7 (Sat only). R u le s of E n g a g e m e n t 12 :40 , 3 : 30 , 6 : 50 , 9 :35 . 28 D ays 12 :05 , 2 :30 , 4 : 55 , 7 : 15 , 9 :45 . K e e p in g th e F a ith 12 :30 , 3 :20 , 6 : 40 , 9 :30 . W h e re th e M o ney Is 12 : 10 , 2 : 25 , 4 : 50 , 7:10 (not Sat), 9 :40 . R e tu rn to M e 12 : 50 , 3 :40 , 6:45 (not Sat), 9 : 25 . R o ad to El D orad o 12 , 2 : 15 , 4 :30 , 6 : 35 , 8 :40 . E rin B ro c k o v ic h 12 : 20 , 3 : 10 , 6 :30 , 9 :20 . All shows daily,

Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863 - 4494 . U - 571 * 12 : 50 , 3 : 20 , 6 : 50 , 9 :20 . 28 D ays 1, 3 : 50 , 7 : 10 , 9 :30 . R e a d y to R u m b le 8 :30 . A m e ric a n B ea u ty 6 :40 , 9 : 15 . T h e R o a d to E l D orado 12 :30 , 2 : 15 , 4 , 6 : 30 . T h e S k u lls 1: 10 , 3 :30 , 7 , 9 :25 . M is s io n to M a rs 12 :40 , 3 : 40 . Matinees Sat-Sun only.

listings

BIJOU CIN EPLEX 1-2-3-4 Rt. 100 , Morrisville, 888 - 3293 . R ules of Engagem ent 12:40 , 3 :30 , 6 :50 , 9 : 15. 28 Days 1, 3 :40 . 7 , 9 :20 . The Skulls 2 , 7 :30 , 9 :20 . T h e R o a d to E l D o ra d o 12 :30 , 3 : 50 , 6, 8 :30 . E rin B ro c k o v ic h 12 : 50 , 3 : 20 , 6 : 40 , 9 : 10 . Matinees Sat.-Su n . only, late show Fri.-Sat. only.

THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229 - 0509 . 1:30 (Sat-Sun only), 4 :30 , 7 :30 .

Topsy-Turvy

Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time.

CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229 - 0343 . PARAMOUNT THEATRE 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479- 9621 .

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5

weekly

North Avenue, Burlington, 863- 6040 . Toy Story 2 12:45 , 3 : 15 , 5: 15, 7:30 , 9 :30 . Girl Interrupted 4 :30 , 9 : 15. The G reen M ile 3 :30 , 9 . Galaxy Quest 1: 15, 7 . Bicentennial M an 12:30 , 4 : 15, 6 :45 , 9 :45 . Stuart Little 1, 2 :45 , 7 : 15. Matinees Sat-Sun only.

STOWE CINEMA Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678. MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200 . MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841 . WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main Street, St. Albans, 527- 7888 .

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dossiP James Marsden, Norman Reedus and Joshua Jackson are teamed in Davis Guggenheim’s drama about a group of college stu dents that plants a rumor and cre ates a deadly web of gossip with tragic results. (R) U-571 Directed and cowritten by Jonathan (Breakdown) Mostow, this effects-stuffed WWII adventure concerns the plight of nine American soldiers who board a German sub to steal a spy device and then find themselves trapped on it, with a U-boat on its way to rescue them. With Matthew McConaughey, Harvey Keitel, Jon Bon Jovi and Bill Paxton. (PG-13) WHERE THE HEART IS Uh-oh — Oprah alert! Natalie Portman plays a young mother making her spunky way in the world in Matt Williams’ big-screen version of the Winfreye h

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sanctioned bestseller by Billie Letts. Ashley Judd and Sally Field costar. (PG-13)

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END OF DAYS**1/2 Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in action for the first time since 1997. Saving one person at a time apparently is old hat at this point for the 52-yearold star, so this time out he’s saving the whole human race. From Satan, no less. Gabriel Byrne costars. Peter Hyams directs. (R) MUMF0RD***1/2 BeingThere meets The Big Chill in the latest ensemble piece from Lawrence Kasdan, a con temporary fable about a mysterious psychologist who magically cures everyone he meets. The cast includes Loren Dean, Alfe Woodard, Ted Danson and Martin Short. (R) STUART LITTLE***172 From the co director of The Lion King and the visual-effects guru behind the origi

nal Star Wars comes the story of a dapper, well-spoken and extremely high-tech rodent. Geena Davis, Michael J. Fox and Gene Wilder star in this adaptation of the E. B. White classic. (PG) THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL** Famke Janssen and Geoffrey Rush star in this update of the campy Vincent Price chestnut about strangers who spend the night in a haunted mansion in exchange for a large sum of money. Which is exact ly what it would take to get me any where near this. (R) THE BACHELOR*** Recent Burlington visitor Renee Zellweger catches Chris O ’Donnell’s eye in this remake of a 1925 Buster Keaton classic about a young man who has just 24 hours to find a bride if he wants to inherit a for tune. With Brooke Shields and Mariah Carey. (PG-13)

* = REFUND p l e a s e ** = c o u l d ’v e b e e n w o r s e , b u t n o t a l o t *** = = SM A R TE R THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR ***** = AS GOOD AS IT GETS

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version of Nick Hornby’s best-sell RULES OF ENGAGEMENT***172 ing novel about a thirtysomething William Friedkin directs this mili music geek. Sara Gilbert and Iben tary courtroom drama in which Hjejle costar. (R) Samuel L. Jackson plays a Marine THE SKULLS** Starring in a fea involved in a mission gone awry ture film for the first time, and Tommy Lee Jones costars as “Dawson’s Creek” regular Joshua the old war buddy who comes to Jackson plays a member of a secret his legal defense. Ben Kingsley costars. (R)t ^ f , :s society (modeled after Yale’s Skull and Bones) whose life is put in 28 DAYS**17^ Sandra Bullock danger when he betrays the broth plays a boozehound writer who erhood by revealing details of his lands in rehab and bonds with the best friend’s death. With Paul wacky characters she meets there. Walker and Leslie Bibb. (PG-13) Elizabeth Perkins and Diane Ladd RETURN TO ME*** Bonnie Hunt costar. Betty (Private Parts) directs and costars in this weeper Thomas directs. (PG-13) about a widower (David AMERICAN PSYCHO**** Welsh Duchovny) who winds up dating thespian Christian Bale plays yup the recipient of his dead wife’s pie nutjob Patrick Bateman in heart! Sounds Xtra iffy to us. (R) Mary Harron’s sterilized big-screen ERIN BROCKOVICH**** Julia version of the almost universally Roberts flexes her dramatic mus reviled but surprisingly funny cles in this fact-based saga about a novel by Bret Easton Ellis. Reese struggling single mother who Witherspoon, Chloe Sevigny and worked for a law firm and wound Willem Dafoe costar. (R) up helping California plaintiffs KEEPING THE FAITH***172 Ed Norton makes his directorial debut win a multi-million-dollar settle ment of water contamination with, and costars in, this comedy claims against Pacific Gas & about two men of the cloth who Electric in the mid-’90s. Albert worship the ground Jenna Elffnan Finney costars. Steven Soderbergh walks on. Ben Stiller costars. (PG-13) directs. (R) READY TO RUMBLE** David BOYS DON’T CRY**** The true Arquette body-slams his way into story of a young Nebraska man Adam Sandler territory with this who is sexually assaulted and mur Brian ( Varsity Blues) Robbinsdered when his buddies find out directed dumbathon about a fan he’s really a young Nebraska who comes to the rescue of his woman. The Oscar-winning favorite wrestler. With Oliver Platt Hilary Swank stars. (R) and Rose McGowan. (PG-13) MISSION TO MARS**172 Slightly TOPSY-TURVY**** Mike Leigh’s less than a year short of 2001, latest stars Jim Broadbent and Allan Corduner and offers a highly Brian De Palma brings us this decidedly Kubrick-esque sci-fi crazed glimpse into the creative adventure concerning deep secrets process of composers W. F. Gilbert uncovered on the surface of Mars. and Arthur Sullivan. (R) Tim Robbins, Don Cheadle and THE ROAD TO EL DORADO*** Gary Sinise star. (PG-13) Elton John is writing tunes for AMERICAN BEAUTY****172 Kevin ’toons again. This time around, he Spacey and Annette Bening play sings us through the saga of two the heads of a nuclear family in 16th-century con men who dis the process of meltdown in the cover a Latin-American Shangri-la. feature debut from from white-hot Featuring the voices of Kevin Broadway director Sam (The Blue Kline and Kenneth Branagh. (PG) Room) Mendes: The film won took HIGH FIDELITY***172 Stephen home five Oscars, including Best ( The Grifters) Frears and John Picture, Director and Actor. (R) Cusack reteam for the big-screen

h a s it s m o m e n t s ; s o -so

THE CIDER HOUSE RULES***172 Lasse (What’s Eating Gilbert Graper) Hallstrom brings the beloved John Irving bestseller about a WWII-era orphan to the big screen with a little help from Tobey Maguire, Michael Caine and Irving himself, who wrote the screenplay. (PG-13) THE GREEN MILE***172 Director Frank ( The Shawshank Redemption) Darabont is back in jail again, this time for the story of a prison guard and the death row giant he believes to be innocent. Starring Tom Hanks, David Morse and Michael Clarke Duncan. (R) TOY STORY 2**** Everybody’s favorite living dolls reunite for an all-new animated adventure when Woody (Tom Hanks) is kidnapped by an unscrupulous toy collector and Buzz (Tim Allen) rallies the toon troops to rescue him. (G) STUART LITTLE***172 From the co-director of The Lion King and the visual-effects guru behind the original Star Wars comes the story of a dapper, well-spoken and extremely high-tech rodent. Geena Davis, Michael J. Fox and Gene Wilder star in this adaptation of the E. B. White classic. (PG) GALAXY QUEST***172 Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver play hasbeen stars of a ’70s sci-fi series who get the call for real when an alien race in need of help looks Earthward. Alan Rickman and Tony Shalhoub costar. (PG) BICENTENNIAL MAN* Robin Williams continues to push the sappiness envelope with this regu lation warm-and-fuzz-athon about a robot who just wants (gulp) to be human. Give it a rest already, Mork. (PG) ‘ GIRL INTERRUPTED***172 Winona Ryder, Oscar-winning Angelina Jolie and Whoopi Goldberg get together for this feel good trip to yet another mental institution, where the psychotic turn out to be just misunderstood poets and visionaries. James Mangold directs. (R)

FiLMQuIZ cosponsored by Lippa’s Jewelers

title search Welcome to the version of our game in which you get to catch up on your reading. While you’re savoring the paragraphs above, keep an eye open for the titles of 14 motion pictures which we’ve woven into the literature. Around the Fire Chief stood the mayor, a man in a Smokey the Bear suit, and Jacob. At their feet lay the cameraman from the local news station who had been sent to cover the fire-safe ty demonstration. He had been hit by the bullet meant for Jacob, the station’s film critic and a good friend of the slain man. “Someone get him to the hospital!” yelled the person in the Smokey the Bear suit. The outfit had a zipper down the front, but, strangely, he didn’t move to take the costume off. “Sombody, get this guy some help, pronto!” the Fire Chief chimed in, snapping out of his trance. Suddenly, from behind the big blue station van, a filmmaker from Texas ran to his sportscar and started his engine. Smokey gave chase but could only waddle, so the get-away was made easily. “He’s the guy who directed Psycho 5: The Next Generation,” Jacob said, looking down at his dead friend. “He was relentless, called me every day for weeks. When I didn’t give his film a rave review, he decided to get even, I guess.” “The irony,” Jacob reflected, “is that he couldn’t shoot with a gun any better than he could with a camera.” 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.

For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday and Sunday on News Channel 5! © 2 0 0 0 R ic k K iso n a k

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS:

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T E O U ® L IT 0 K 7 N BUSH CONFERS WITH HIS TRUSTED ADVISOR, RALPH REFO

G .W .

B y C hris B arry

Merry Skanksters S k a

d iv in g

still

m o d

M o n tre a

ka revivals may come and go in other parts of the world, but in Montreal, nobody seems to notice or care. Ska is something of a constant here, an institution. For better or worse, the uptempo Jamaican beat has dominat ed the Montreal indie scene for the better part of the last decade. Sure, a couple of local So-Cal-inspired punk bands may still bring ’em out to the clubs on occa sion, but for the most part the live music scene here can be a very unwelcoming place to aspiring young musicians — unless they’re ready to throw on a parka and start skanking.

PHOTO: SUSAN MOSS

MOTHER KNOWS BEST Me, Mom and Morgentaler at last summer’s reunion show

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Ska didn’t always rule in these parts, ,* but its local roots go back at least as far as 1983. Admittedly, that’s a good four years after the first British ska revival that brought us Madness and The Specials but, hey, who’s counting? “All these local ska bands just started popping up in the mid-’80s,” recalls Klaus Frostell, the one time Vegetable guitarist and current pro ducer and engineer of Canadian rude-boy sensations The Kingpins. “Bands like The Swinging Relatives, The Ethnic Drivers, Top Ranking, a whole bunch of young bands — high school bands, really. “It was strange, because ska was pretty well dead everywhere else in the world,” Frostell continues. “I don’t know why so many people decided to start playing it here, but it certainly caught on quick. By

*in alterna-land, and there jwas precious lit tle room for the heavy, monster sound of Montreal ska. By the end.of the decade, all these groups had stopped polishing their Doc Martens and called it a day. But you can’t keep a good musical genre down for long. With the new decade came something of a second inter national ska revival. Up shot a fresh, healthy new crop of local ska bands, not the least of which was the much celebrat ed Me, Mom and Morgentaler. Named after a controversial and heroic local abortionist, the Morgentalers were immediately embraced by a new genera tion of ska fans and, less than six months after their inception, were capable of sell ing out the 1000-seat Spectrum — a major accomplishment in light of the fact that

and Morgentaler were the absolute shit in Montreal, and managed to develop a pret ty solid reputation on an international level — in ska circles, at least. But even with their impressive drawing power the Morgentalers couldn’t transform home town popularity into a major record deal. In 1996, frustrated and wbm down from a prolonged battle with their management company, the band split up. Local mods wept openly in the streets upon hearing the news of the tragic breakup. The Montreal alternative press was unanimous in cursing the powers that be in the music industry, who had so callously ignored their city’s greatest musical offering since, er, Aldo Nova. But did this spell the end of Montreal ska? Could the mod scene ever possibly rebound after such a devastating setback? Could any local ska band ever hope to match the brilliance or success of those wacky prochoice, skanking Morgentalers? Well, the w answer, friends, is yes! ' And in a big way. Enter The Planet Smashers. Originally a garage band rarely play ing to an audience much larger than their imme diate families, the Smashers, along with their scooter-riding bud dies The Kingpins, wise ly picked up where the Morgentalers left off. They ran with ska like nobody’s busi ness. In 1995, with nary a soul in the Canadian record industry interested in signing a ska band, the two groups decid ed to put out a compilation of Canadian ska acts and release it on their newly formed label, Stomp. And the rest, as they say, is history. That record, All-Skanadian, sold up a storm upon its release — arguably setting off the most recent ska revival in Canada — and provided The Kingpins and The Planet Smashers with more than enough money to record their successful follow up CDs. At their peak, either band could

The live music scene here can be a very unwelcoming place to spiring young musicians — unless they’re ready to throw on a parka and start skanking. 1986 a band like Double Agent could pack in three or four hundred people a night for several nights in a row. It was pretty cool.” Still, regardless of their local populari ty, none of the first wave of Montreal ska bands could hope to even get arrested outside their hometown. The few bands that actually put out a record watched their vinyl offerings get totally ignored in the rest of the country. A few fans here and there would turn up for an out-of town gig by, say, Top Ranking, but gener ally these groups were regarded as timewarped oddities. In the mid-’80s, Goth was de rigueur

most other local English indie bands were having difficulty finding any place to play. “The Morgentalers were lucky because we really locked in with the French kids,” remembers original Me, Mom sax player and man-about-town John Jordan. “I think it was a lot about style, and the French kids are very conscious about that. I suppose we were the antithesis of grunge.” Frostell adds, “French people just love those big, sing-a-long choruses that are so easy to remember. It’s no wonder they took to the Morgentalers with so much passion.” Throughout the early ’90s, Me, Mom

sell out a 1000-seat venue in Montreal on any night o f the week. T hat may not sound like a big deal in the land of Phish, but here in the English music scene — where support for local bands has histori cally been nearly non-existent — it’s nothing short of phenomenal. These days both The Planet Smashers and The Kingpins do well in the rest of Canada and have made a small impression in the States, but, not surprisingly, Montreal continues to be their biggest market. “It’s all because the French radio stations decided to start playing our records — which they unfortunately never did for Me, Mom and Morgentaler,” says head Smasher Matt Collyer. He echoes Jordan’s opinion. “The French kids just love to party and have fun — plus, they’re style-conscious. I real ly think that’s why ska will always be around here.” As we bravely soldier into the new millennium, most observers are willing to admit that the third and latest ska revival is gasping its last breath in most of the world. Even in the mod paradise of Montreal there are fewer ska bands form ing, and many of the established ones are beginning to move towards pop. Still, we shouldn’t be too quick to discount the resilience of ska in this town. The Stomp label has become some thing of a dynasty with a stable of more than a dozen touring bands. They’re pro viding real, live, music-related jobs in a town whose English music industry fled en masse to Toronto during the referen dum scares of the ’80s and ’90s. And The Planet Smashers are still one of the city’s best-loved bands. Every couple of months The Stomp All-Stars — members o fT he Kingpins, The Planet Smashers and their label mates — take up a Wednesday-night residency at Le Swimming on St-Laurent for an impromptu jam. They consistently sell the place out. Even old stalwarts Me, Mom and Morgentaler have returned to the game, recently selling out a one-off reunion gig at the 3000-seat Metropolis club — at $35 a ticket! Ska may be deader than JFK on the rest of the planet, but it’s still alive and kicking in Montreal. ®

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SEVEN DAYS

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SEVEN DAYS

SEVEN DAYS april 19, 2000

continued from page 5

THE VERMONT LEGISLATURE "Up Close and Personal" with Peter Freyne

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“Thanks, Elizabeth Kaliden, live in Burlington, looking good. Next, we’ll go live to the Oval Office to find out what President George W. Bush has to say about the Crisis in Vermont. And then, Pat Robertson on Monica Lewinsky’s Vermont connection. And will the Yankees offer Elian Gonzalez a contract if O.J. Simpson doesn’t adopt him? But, first these important messages from our favorite multi-national pharma ceutical companies on how to cope with everything and any thing.” Can’t Blame Clavelle — Burlington’s Progressive mayor, Peter Clavelle, was nowhere in sight last week. In fact he was far, far away from beautiful Burlap, across the Atlantic Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea. And what happens when he’s gone? Ben & Jerry’s sells out to a freaking huge multi-national! “It sucks,” said Mayor Moonie Monday night during a break in the City Council’s debate on reforming the city’s leash law for pooches. “It puts meaning in the cliche money talks,”’ said Clavelle.” “It’s very symbolic. The fact is, we don’t control our economy. Wall Street’s calling the shots.” Clavelle learned of the Ben & Jerry’s sale while attending the 20th Annual Jerusalem Conference of Mayors. Fifty-four mayors from 34 nations spent a week getting a street-level, upclose and personal view of one of the world’s foremost political/ ethnic/religious powder kegs. Diversity, i.e. living together in peace, is a worldwide challenge, and it was a topic he was able to bat around with the mayor of Belgrade, Yugoslavia, among others. “In Israel,” Clavelle told Seven Days, “the conflict exists at multiple levels. It makes Ireland’s community conflict seem piddly.” Not to mention other pressing political battles closer to home, like choosing an operator

for a dqwntown'supermarket. W hat’s That Smile? — Yes, that was a smile on the face of Vermont Congressman Bernie Sanders Monday. The reason for his delight? The protest demonstrations in Washington, D.C., targeting the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and the World Bank. The protesters from labor unions, environmental organiza tions and human rights groups were Bernie’s people, he acknowledged, no question about it. In fact, you can down load from his Web site O f Bernardo’s “Sermon on the Mount” speech he delivered last week to 15,000 screaming, cheering Teamsters on Capitol Hill. Bernie was talking about the IMF even when he was mayor of Burlington. When he first went to Congress a decade ago, he recalled, most members didn’t have a clue what the IMF was, who ran it and what it did. Sanders deserves credit lor his determined educational effort. “The IMF for many, many years operated in secrecy,” said Sanders. “The IMF was literally running dozens of poor coun tries around the world. Nobody understood the role of the IMF.” The more people talk about this issue, said Bernie, “the more people who say the international financial organizations should represent American workers and the poor people of the Third World rather than the multi national corporations — the more that discussion takes place, the better off the global econo my will be.” Funny how when Bernie said the exact same thing 10, 15, 20 years ago everyone thought it was radical stuff. Today it’s final ly getting mainstream, as more and more people get hip to what globalization is all about. Media Notes — While lawmak ers and just plain readers contin ue to wait lor The Burlington Free Press to take an editorial stand on the civil-unions legisla tion, others have been less timid. Let’s add The Miami Herald to the growing list ol respected U.S. newspapers that have pub lished favorable-to-glowing procivil unions editorials. The Vermont Legislature, writes the Miami Herald, “has struck the right balance in set tling the wrenching question of marriage between gay or lesbian partners...Vermont has acknowl edged the simple justice of equal treatment. It’s unfortunate that those who feel threatened by equality prevail — for the moment — in the Florida Legislature.” Wow! Add that to similar laudatory editorial sentiments expressed from Arizona to Chicago to Minneapolis to Washington, D.C., and the Big Apple. Rather than a laughing stock, brave little Vermont is the leader on the front lines of today’s fight for human rights and the recognition of what Chief Justice Jeff Amestoy called “our common humanity.” Hear, Email Peter at insidetra ckvt @aol. com

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EXPERIENCED LINE COOKS and DISHWASHERS to join our professional kitchen team. Must be honest, motivated and responsible. FULL AND PART TIME MAINTENANCE PERSON to join our staff. Duties include custodial, light carpentry and painting. You must be hard-working, quality conscious and self-motivated.

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RECEPTIONIST/ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT V.FlROs'seeking a full-time Receptionist/ Administrative Assistant for our Colchester office. We are locking for a computer savvy (MS Office) team player with excellent interpersonal, telephone, and other general office skills. Responsibilities include, but are not limited to, answering phones, processing incoming mail, and purchasing office supplies. This position requires common sense, multi-tasking, patience, and a sense of humor. Familiarity with the Internet is a plus; interest and familiarity with public radio, a huge plus.

Assistant Bookkeeper Assoicates Degree in Accounting/or knowledge of double entry accounting. Experience in Healthcare Accounting a plus. Please send resume: Coleen Condon Holiday House 642 Sheldon Road St. Albans, VT 05478

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please note: refunds cannot be granted for any reason, adjustments will be credited to the advertiser’s account toward future classifieds placement only, we proofread carefully, but even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to republication, in any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal.

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SEVEN DAYS

april 19, 2000

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Seasonal: • RETAIL SALES-

FT or PT, May TOct 30, YR posi tions also available •BUSSERS, DISHWASHERS, SERVERS •POOL ATTENDANTS-FT/PT,

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*§= EXCELLENT BENEFITS pkg. available for full-time, YR employ ees. All employees get free shift meals, skiing, use of fitness center, discounts. Apply to: Trapp Family Lodge, Human Resources, PO Box 1428, Stowe, VT 05672 Ph: 802.253.5713 fax: 802.253.5757 EOE

I n t e r n e t B a n k in g S u p p o r t Merchants Bank, the leader in Community Banking in Vermont, is seeking applicants to fill the vacancy in our Electronic Banking Team. This individual will be responsible for support ing all Internet Banking Product/Service activities, as well as provide back up support to all Electronic Banking Services which include: PCLYNX Corporate/Small Business; Debit/ATM Card & Processing Services; Telephone and Personal Computer transactional activites; ACH Processing, Corporate Cash Management; Teller system. The successful candidate will pos sess the following qualifications: • Knowledge and experience with the internet required • Minimum of 1-2 years of progressively more responsible work experience, preferably in the Financial Services Industry, in the administration of Electronic Product/Services in both the Customer Service and support aspects • High level of analytical ability in order to evaluate and resolve complex and other Bank/Customer business problems • Strong Personal Computer skills necessary with a good working knowledge of E-mail, word processing & spreadsheet applications, in addition to Electronic Banking Services We offer a competitive salary, commensurate with experience, as well as an incentive compensation plan. We provide an excellent benefit package, which includes health, dental, life and disability insurance, and a generous 401 (k). Please submit a resume, indicating the position you are applying for, to: Merchants Bank, P.O. Box 1009, Burlington, VT 05402-1009 " Attn: Kim Boyarsky or fax to: (802) 865-1698 • or e-mail: kboyarsky@mbvt.com Equal Opportunity Employer

.- A

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Ojxq ljou paA&ionaJta abmdt food, Jthc sjwjuionmsmi and lfowi community? Onion River Co-op offers great benefits for our Full and Part Time Employees: Discounts on purchases, Paid Holidays, Medical Insurance, Dental Insurance, Earned Time Off, and Credit Union Membership • STORE ASSISTANT

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This salary position requires supervision of our front-end staff, the smooth flow of our daily operations and to provide excellent customer service. Experience necessary! Please subm it a resum e or fill out an ap p licatio n at 274 N o W inooski Ave, Burlington, V T Q 5401 O nion River C o -o p is an Equal O pportunity Em ployer

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P r o d u c t io n W o rk e rs SERAC Corporation is a manufacturer o f high quality products including home greenhouses and garden sheds. SERAC is growing division o f Gardener’s Supply Company. SERAC’s customers are located around the country and business is good! We produce products in a new facility in Georgia, VT, just minutes from Interstate 8 9 . We are looking for someone to join our production .earn. This positon involves operating a variety o f hand tools and shop machines. Metal fabrication/wood construction background needed. Production construction background very desirable. We offer excellent benefits including paid vacation, health insurance and 4 0 1 K. If interested send resume with cover letter or just com e in and fill out an application at either location: SERAC Corp., Building i 6 iB, Arrowhead Industrial Park, Georgia, VT 0 5 4 5 4 , Attn: Pete Gay (e-mail: peteg@gardeners.com Gardener’s Supply Company, 12 8 Intervale Road, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 , Attn: Kit Howe (job Hotline: 6 6 0 -3513 )

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SEVEN *M YSc

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30 M ain S treet, B urlington

530-5788 for immediate interview. E.O.E.

Executive Director We are looking for a take-charge person to be responsible for all aspects of a growing community music school in Montpelier, Vermont with 35 faculty members and over 400 students. The executive director reports to a board and is responsible for policy implementation, faculty and staff oversight, budget management, and the daily management of the school. Excellent organizational and writing skills are necessary. Experience with non-profit management and fund raising required. A background in music and/or music education help ful. Send letter and resume by May 1 to:

COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT SPECIALIST C ITY O F B U R L IN G T O N C O M M U N IT Y A N D E C O N O M IC D E V E LO PM EN T O FFIC E Energetic, community oriented individual with excellent communication skills is needed to be responsible for neighborhood based citizen involvement activities. This individual will perform a variety o f tasks related to the oversight and support o f neighborhood orgs, inch Neighborhood Planning Assemblies, Public Safety Project, and Block Assocs.

A solid understanding o f

community development principles and program man agement is needed. Supervising staff and attending evening and occasional weekend meetings req. For a complete description, or to apply, contact Human Resources at 802/865-7145. If interested, send resume, cover letter and City o f

Burlington Application by April 27,

MONTEVEI\DI M U S iC ^ jS S C H O O L P.O. Box 1062, Montpelier, VT 05601

2000 to: HR Dept, Rm 33 City

tttf

Hall, Burlington, VT 05401.

Women, minorities andpersons with disabilities are highly encouraged to apply. EOE

mi iT-V i

Admissions Director Needed F u l l - T im e A ssociates degree in business, h u m an services,, adm inistration or equivalent in experience o f 2 to 5 years. Experience in health care, m anaged care, m edical billin g and c o llectio n s a plus. Excellent interpersonal, p h o n e and com p u ter skills required.

smiles. Growing paint-yourown pottery studio and cafe is hiring part-time workers with good attitudes and cus tomer service skills. Flexible schedule. Must be able to work weekends. Call, 6520102, ask for Rusty.

HILD c A R E

ton LoViw<]? L ik e Children? All s h if t s - fo il

<P a r f T im e positions,

c a ll * 7 2 - 7 0 7 0 or send resu m e f®:

koala T childcare, i s bishop Ave., VJilliSfOM, VT OSV9S

Dynamic Burlington architectural firm seeking full time marketing assistant. Ideal candidate has excellent writing and graphic skills, experience with PageMaker and Photoshop. Send cover letter & resume to: J a n J a c o b s , T r u e x C u l l in s & P a r t n e r s A r c h it e c t s

209

B a t t e r y S t . B u r l in g t o n , V T

05401

P ick Pack G a rd e n e r's S u p p ly C o m p a n y is A m e ric a 's le a d in g m ail o rder ga rd e n in g ca ta lo g s p e c ia liz in g in in n o v ativ e p ro d u cts for the garden, yard an d h o m e. W e have se a so n a l p o sitio n s in o u r W in o o sk i w a re h o u se and now in o u r new est lo ca tio n in G e o rg ia , VT. jo in o ur happy, h a rd -w o rkin g crew o f S e a so n a l P i c k / P a c k e r s in the W in o o sk i w areh o u se . Pick, pack and sh ip ga rd e n in g p ro d u cts. E v e n in g S h if t s M o n d a y-Frid a y 3 :3 0-m id n ig h t. D a y S h if t s T u e sd a y -S a tu rd a y 7:00-3:30. R eq uires p h ysical sta m in a , team w o rk and go o d attitude. S o m e p a rt-tim e w o rk available. T h e se se a so n a l p o s itio n s end in late June.

COMPUTER PROGRAMMER

Linux developer with PHP, SQL, C++ and Web applica tion experience needed. www.iocus.com/jobs. COORDINATOR OR PART NER to operate a fine art,

antique & craft gallery in pic turesque, waterfront village, of Essex, NY. Housing avail. Box 22, Essex, NY, 12936. DELI ATTENDANT. Motivat ed, organized, cheerful per son. Experience good. Fulland part-time positions. Apply at Cobblestone Deli, Battery St. 865-3354. DELIVERY DRIVER. Full-time CDL not req. Apply at Dock Beverage. 67 Depot Rd., Colchester, VT. 878-0910.

D is h M a c h in e O p e ra t o rs : Very

clean, efficient kitchen environ ment. Great pay and free meals. H o s t Staff: Personable, organized

individuals to greet guests and coordinate seating. Must be good

B u s s e rs : Lunch shifts, approx. 12

6-10 p.m. G ood pay & tips. evening shifts available. Full or

COMPANY

A p p ly in p e rs o n to Ja m ie Polli, M o n a ’s R estau ran t, 3 M a in Street, B u rlin g to n .

Earn Extra Money H

PayRate: $ 12.75 per hour Census 2000 is recruiting individuals to help take the Census in communi ties across the country. This job offers flexible hours, competitive pay, and work close to home. If you want a second job or are retired, it's perfect! Most Census field jobs last approximately four to six weeks. We provide training and 32.5*2 per mile mileage reimbursement and we pay our Census takers and crew leaders weekly. We need you, so call the local Census Office at 8 0 2 .8 7 8 .3 5 2 6 or our toll free number.

Do it now! 1 w w w .c e n s u s .g o v /jo b s 2 0 0 0 T D D 1 -8 0 0 -3 4 1 -1 3 1 0 The Census Bureau is an Equal Opportunity Employer

AM IM P O R T A N T J O B ... ...T H A T PAYS

Financial Coordinator Dynamic Waterbury non profit seeking energetic full-time employee to assist withfiancial oper ations. Must have good organization, computer skills. Advancement - • 4 potential. Training and benefits offered. Call 241-3901, today! FULL-TIM E BREAKFAST

cook and full-time house keeper wanted for Lang House, Burlington’s newest Bed & Breakfast Inn. Voicemail, 652-2500 FURNITURE DELIVERY. Are you a safe driver, well-orga nized, friendly, handy with tools, able to do heavy mov ing? Call Tempo Furniture, 985-8776.

United States

Census

LANDSCAPE LABORER.

2000 Democratic Campaign Mgmt. Program. Housing/living stipend. Learn the nuts & bolts of campaigning from top political consultants while electing progressive Democrats to Congress. Qualified grads, placed in full-time, salaried positions around the country. Call Jill, 847-864-1008. (AAN CAN) Interested in doing fun violence prevention activites with teenage boys? AWARE is seeking a Teen Group facilitator, 4 hours a week, after school and occasional week ends. Send resume to: P.o. Box 307, Hardwick, 05843. (802) 472-6463

K-6, C ER TIFIED TEACHER

in Burlington: reading, writ ing, math, science enrich ment. Variety of teaching styles. I help build confi dence, increase productivity, challenge the mind & sup port. Barbara-Anne, 658-2478.

SERVERS! Don’t let this one get away!

wanted

WCLX 102.5 FM

experience not necessary. enthusiasm a must, unlimited income potential. resume to: WCLX, PO Box 310, Vergennes, VT 05491. EOE.

Must be hard-working and dedicated, experience and transportation required. Call 434-4301 [ E L E C T R O L U X ^

M anager Trainee Now recruiting ambitious, self-motivated people interested in earning $25,000 to $45,000++. We offer incentives and family health plan. If you have a desire to succeed and a positive mental attitude, call 802-658-2082 for a personal interview. EOE

MECHANIC at Shelburne Shipyard. Please apply in person, 4584 Harbor Rd., Shelburne. 985-3326. M IDDLEBURY SWIM TEAM

Assistant Coach. Position involves 25-30 hrs./wk., practice time & meets. Must have knowledge of competi tive swimming, stroke devel opment, training techniques. Comfortable disciplining & working w/all-aged children. Enthusiasm & enjoyment of children is a must! Contact Pam Taylor, 388-8103. NEED A NEW WARDROBE?

Spend your days selling and shopping at the same time. Clay's a VT-owned Co., is looking for fun and energetic individuals, seeking a career in fashion and sales. Please call, 879-1305, ext.16. NEW AUTOMATED HOME

sales people wanted for area’s newest radio station

part-time.

133 Elm Street W in oo ski, V T 054 0 4 Attn: Kit Job H otline: 660-3513

EMPLOYMENT

IN TERESTED IN A PO LITI CAL career? Apply for the

noon - 2:30. Dinner shifts, approx. Parrtry & L in e C o o k s : Day and

G ARD EN ERS SIIPPIY

dinner shifts.

EMPLOYMENT HIGH-TECH HEALTH & envi

ronmental company is seek ing ambitious person to establish markets nation wide. Excellent compensa tion. 888-533-0228.

help

under pressure. Lunch and/or We offer great pay, a fast-p a ced e n v iro n m e n t an d provide a ge n e ro u s p ro d u ct d isc o u n t. R eq uire s tro n g w ork e th ic and co m m itm e n t. If interested in th is p o sitio n c o m e in and fill out an ap p lic a tio n at:

EMPLOYMENT

BLU E PLATE CERAMIC CAFE looking for a few good

Resum es to: G ladys Z elm an, M aple L eaf Farm Associates, Inc., P.O. Box 120, U nderhill, V T 054 8 9

TRLMCuilJNS&PAKIMI^ABCHnECIS

M E N

EMPLOYMENT

ft.

Business. Quickly earn a full time income. No selling. Unlimited income. Visit www.retirequickly.net/ca to see & hear complete presen tation. (AAN CAN) We need more servers to make up to $20/hr! Hiring dependable, service & PR oriented people. Benefits include medical insurance, meal privileges, flexible schedule, and working with a great team at Burlington's most popular seafood restaurant. Apply today! 1080 Shelburne Rd. South Burlington

C A L I F O R N I A - S TY LE

BI STR O

N O W H IR IN G ! Sous Chef, Line Cook, W ditstaff at the Chelsea Grill in Stowe. Send resume to Matt Delos, PO Box 3582, Stowe, VT 05672. PH: 802.253.3075 PARKS & RECREATION,

S ta rt a Sales C a re e r w ith th e In d u s h y Le a d e r. A s the nation’s #1 computer training com pany with over 16 years of incredible growth in a multibillion dollar field and with over 240 locations world wide, New Horizons Computer Learning Center gives you the op portunity to start your career with the industry leader. If you are competitive, highly motivated with a strong desire to succeed, this position will provide the personal & financial rewards you are looking for. Full benefits and an aggressive comm ission plan are included. Interested candidates must possess excellent phone skills, the ability to communicate, an eagerness to learn and a willingness to work hard and have fun at the sam e time.

N ew H orizons Computer

Learning

Centers

Burlington, VT. Summer jobs, apply now! Part-time and full-time seasonal positions, $6-$10/hr. We are now accepting applications for the following positions: Track and Field Counselors, Gate Attendants, Park Attendants, Day Camp Directors, Playground Program Staff, Dockmasters, Pay Camp Counselors, Basketball Camp Director/Counselors, Maintenance Assistants, Arboriculture Assistants, Soccer Camp Counselors, Lifeguards. To apply, submit -a City of Burlington Application to: HR Department, Rm. 33, City Hall, Burlington, VT, 05401. Available in alternative for mats for persons with disabil ities. For disability access information, or to request an application, contact Human Resources at (802) 8657145 or 865-7142 (TTY). Women, minorities and per sons with disabilities are highly encouraged to apply. EOE

257 Pine Street • Burlington, VT • 862-3374, fax 863-1231 email: Matt.luneke@newhorizons.com

ap£il*1*9M2000oj> (PSii

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EMPLOYMENT

S j^ M

RESTAURANT: Hiring wait-

UK£-P To HAVE AU THE L/VTE5T G/U76ET5 IN.HERJOTCHEH.

staff & part-time cook. Call, Papa Nick’s, 482-6050.

R estau ran t Supervisor, C ounter H elp/Servers, Cooks E xperience n eed ed , w ill train . D ishw asher - Good pay w ith g re at atm o sp h ere. C hefs Corner W illiston

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"THE M.Y. MITTS" wa-

WHEN SHE MEAPP ABOUT TALK ING OVEN M ITTS/ THOUGH, HEP EYEBROWS SHoT UP.

THEY CoULP TELL HER IF A CASSEROLE WAS PoNE BY THE TEM PERATURE o F THE PlSH.

WHAT THE HECK. SHE BOUGHT A PAIR.

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lay® waymy. com SURE ENOUGH, HER M lTTS T oLP HER C00K1NG FACTS IN No UNCERTAIN TERM S.

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O N E PAY THE M lTTS SAlP S o m e t h in g n e w .

|T'£ RfcAPy.

eh joy youp. ME A T l o a f . i

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THEY WERE RIGHT. ALL OF HER C00K1NG HAP 60N E RIG H T To HER HIPS.

LOAD.

8 7 8 -5 5 2 4 RETAIL FLOWER SA LES:

Retail flower and bedding plant sales people. Starts 5/1. Full- & Part-time posi tions. Flower & garden enthusiasts encouraged to apply. Oakwood Farms, Essex Jet. Call 288-8155, ask for Glenn, leave msg.

CURIOUS, SHE C 00K E P EVEN m o r e m e a l s j u s t to l e a r n

WHAT THEY HAP To SAY.

<H E HEARP, BUT SHE CoU LPN 'TlFlN A LLy, THE M lTTS iNSTRUCTEP STOP CooKiNG. I W ^ .T o ^ o o K J E R .H E A P AT -------------------------------------------------■ 4 o o Fo r TEN Ho u r s .

RETAIL FOOD AND WINE.

O '

Serve our terrific customers, join our fun, hard-working staff. Enjoy full-time, w/3 days off per wk. Apply in person at Cheese Traders, 1186 Williston Rd. RETAIL STORE PERSO N N EL

at Shelburne Shipyard. Please apply in person, 4584 Harbor Rd., Shelburne. 985-3326. POSTAL JOBS to 18.35/hr. inch benefits, no experience. For application and exam info, call 800-813-3585, ext. 0426, 8am-9pm, 7 days, fds, inc. (AAN CAN) SA LES ASSOCIATE:

Exceptional women’s cloth ing & jewelry. Great attitude, creative team player. Exp. preferred. Part-time, increas ed summer hrs. Weekends. Apply in person: Marilyn’s, 115 College St., Burlington.

EMPLOYMENT

SEEKIN G VEGETARIAN

W ILDLIFE JOBS to 21.60/hr.

cooks & assistants/nursing staff/life guards/youth coun selors for 2 wks. in Aug. Earn wages & participate in our creative, progressive fam ily camp comm, on L. Cham plain. Send resume & cover letter. Attn: Carol, Camp Common Ground, 159 Lost Rd., St. George, VT 05495.

LEAD. GRILLS SAUTEE LOOKS Workwith trained culinarv chefs Advancement opportunities TeamEnvironment Vacation, Insurance, Meals Full time/Part time

seeks campaigner for Colombia project. Part-time. Contact 863-0571 or fax resume to 864-8203.

Good Starting Salary Flexible Shifts

864-9800 ChurchSt. Marketplace

Coffee En t h u s ia s t Needed! S en so r y Labo ra to ry A p p r e n t ic e P o s it io n

Industry experts seek conscientious individual for entry-level position. Responsible for set-up and breakdown of sensory I tests and record keeping. Excellent organizational and time management skills a must. Computer literacy (Microsoft Office) a plus. 35-50 hours per week. Send resume to: D.C. Enterprizes, Inc. 286 College St. Attn: Paul Songer Burlington, VT 05401

SUMMER EMPLOYMENT —

Vermont Expos are looking for responsible individuals to work part-time for the 2000 baseball season. Please call 655-4200 for more info. TALENT SCOUTS. Earn up to $2000/mo.! Find bands for SpinRecords.com. Log on to SpinRecords.com/Talent Scout for details.(AAN CAN) U PSCALE ENTERTAINMENT

Agency seeking full- & parttime entertainers & dancers. Up to $100/hr. Excellent repeat clientele. Must have own trans. Call 863-9510, 10 a.m.-3 p.m., M-F. WAREHOUSE PERSON N EL

Full- & Part-time positions avail. Apply at Dock Beverage. 67 Depot Rd., Colchester, VT 05488. 878-0910

ffSfW*-■***

page 4 8

SEVEN DAYS

april 1 9 ,2 0 0 0

inch benefits. Game war dens, security, maintenance, Park Rangers. No experience needed. For application and exam info, call 800-8133585, ext. 0427, 8am-9pm, 7 days, fds, inc. (AAN CAN) W ILDERNESS CAMP coun selors. Sleep under the stars. Hike the Appalachian trail. Canoe the Suwanee. Help atrisk youth. Paid training. Free room/board. Clothing allowance. Excellent salary/benefits. Details and application: www.eckerd.org. Send resumes: Selection Specialist/AN, Eckerd Youth Alternative, PO Box 7450, Clearwater, FL 33765. EOE (AAN CAN) WORK IN THE ADULT enter tainment industry. Now hir ing ladies and gentlemen in the following positions: dat ing agency, professional adult films, Web sites, 900#, adult phone talk oper ators, drivers. No experience necessary. Full- or part-time positions open. Work locally in your area or travel the US. Call recruitment, 212-3309000 or 202-736-1700.

VOLUNTEER LOOKING FOR FATHERS,

children, moms and grand parents to volunteer submis sions about dads for new fathering Web site. Contact Paul at parasol@gte.net or 434-3944.

ANN0UCEMENTS DEMOCRATIC CAMPAIGN

2000. Political activists needed to take back the House in 2000! While work ing on a top-targeted Congressional race, our train ing program covers every aspect of modern political campaigning. Housing/living stipend. Job placement upon completion of program. Minorities & women encour aged to apply. Call 847864-1008. (AAN CAN) WORDS OF WISDOM FOR

BUSINESS OPP.

drivers. The highway code is more often respected to avoid tickets or for one’s own safety but have you ever con sidered the example you are setting for other drivers? Would you let your child cross the street in front of a driver who had watched you drive?

YOUR CLA SSIFIED AD print ed in more than 100 alterna

SAVE MONEY ON FOOD B ILLS. Information to save

tive papers like this one for just $950! To run your ad in papers with a total circula tion exceeding 6.5 million copies per week, call Hope at Seven Days, 864-5684. No adult ads. HONEST INCOME! Help people receive government refunds from home. Free details: 1-800-696-4779 Ext. 2012 PUT YOUR PC TO WORK!

$25-$75/hr. 20 Y.O. compa ny. 888-256-5541. or visit www.pcfortune.com COMPUTER INTERNET

Proficient? $70K-$100K. Free info at www.helpwanted.cjb.net, enter code “101332” or call 603-5398893.

30% minimum on grocery bills, order today & receive free coupon certificate book, $200 value. 100 % guaran tee. For information, call 863-2675, leave msg. YOUR C LA SSIFIED AD print ed in more than 100 alterna tive papers like this one for just $950! To run your ad in papers with a total circula tion exceeding 6.5 million copies per week, call Hope at Seven Days, 864-5684.

AUTOMOTIVE VOLKSWAGON GOLF GL ’96

4-dr., 63K, A/C, cassette, good condition, Thule rack, must sell, $8,500 o.b.o. 652-0862.

REAL ESTATE HOMES FROM $5000.

Foreclosed and repossessed. No or low down payment. Credit trouble—OK. For cur rent listings call, 800-3115048 ext. 3478.

0FFICE/STUDI0 SPACE

HOUSEMATES WANTED

WANTED IMMEDIATELY:

BURLINGTON: F, grad./prof. wanted to share 2 -bdrm. condo on S. Willard. Access to LR, Kit., 2BA, fireplace, storage space, W/D, and parking. $325/mo.+utils. 660-7172. BURLINGTON: 2 responsible M seek 3rd roommate for 6/1. Simple, clean 3-bdrm. downtown apt. Porch, garage, parking, basement. $360/mo.+l/3 elec.+dep. Heat incl. 864-3933. BURLINGTON: Honest, friendly roommate wanted for 2-bdrm. apt. Close to school and downtown. Off-street parking. $337.50/mo., utils, incl. Avail. 6/1, 951-8832. BURLINGTON: Seeking les bian or gay-friendly F to share 2 -bdrm. downtown apt. on Pine St. Must be neat & responsible, smoker OK. Pets provided. $350-375/mo. Call, Vicky, 660-8445. BURLINGTON: Great down town location. Looking for friendly, laid-back, creative person to share our funky, beautiful apartment. Large room avail. 5/1 for $395/ mo.+ util. (No pets unfortu nately!). Keith, 865-6889. BURLINGTON: 2 fern, grad./ young prof, females only for beautiful 4-5 bdrm. Victorian. Free laundry, park ing. Close to UVM and down town. Non-smokers. $350/ mo.+utils. 1 room avail. 5/1, 1 avail. 6/1. 859-0250. BURLINGTON: Lovely, South end apt. needs 3rd room mate, M-F, prof ./grad. Large, bi-level, porches, laundry. $310/mo. inclusive. Avail. 5/1. 862-6453. BURLINGTON: Looking for clean, responsible, NS, female to share sunny, spa cious 2-bdrm. apt. off S. Winooski Ave. Great location w/in walking distance of downtown & waterfront. $425/mo. incl. heat & utils. Avail. 5/1. 862-1046. BURLINGTON: 1-bdrm. avail, in 3-bdrm. apt. Music lovers welcome. $275/mo.+ 1/4 utils. Avail, immed. 862-0499.

Person to share spacious art studio space located 10-15 minutes from Burlington. $250/mo. Call Gerry at 862-6802. BURLINGTON: Near water front. Bright, open (20’ x 26.5’), airy, high ceiling, south-facing. Share kitchen & bath. Work space only (no living). Casual, cooperative, low-key atmosphere. $350. 863-9675.

APT./H0USE FOR RENT E. MIDDLEBURY: 950 sq.ft. 1-bdrm. apt in charming

1826 home on river. Ideal setting, new kitchen, dish washer. Seek quiet profes sional: references; credit; deposit. No smoking, $650 inch most heat & electric. 1 cat allowed. Call 388-7244. U N DERHILL CTR.: Studio apt. $425/mo. incl. W/D, pets considered. 899-2531. Avail. 5/15.

HOUSEMATES WANTED BRISTOL: Roommate(s) wanted for non-smoking, drug-free environ. Partially furnished rooms. Garden space, W/D, shared kitchen, dining & living rms. $300/ mo., incl. utils. + dep. Kids welcome. 453-5373. BURLINGTON: Mature F roommate wanted for 3bdrm. house in great loca tion. Porches, yard, off-street parking, garage, hardwood firs., woodstove, gay-friendly. Avail, now. $287/mo.+l/3. 660-0420. BURLINGTON: Avail, immed. Quiet, NS, Prof, man w/ 2 cats, looking for room mate to share apt. Close to Church St. & UVM. $390/ mo.+l/2 utils.+dep. Jim, 859-9060. BURLINGTON: Room avail. Charming, spacious, 4-bdrm. house. Close to downtown. F preferred. Must be openminded & love dogs. Please call, 865-0136 or 652-0796.

HOUSEMATES WANTED

DATING SERVICES

BURLINGTON: F, NS, prof./ grad, for 2-bdrm. in O.N.E. Off-street parking, garden space, lots of light. No dogs. Avail. 5/1. $325/mo.+ 1/2 heat & elec. Hannah, 863-8390. BURLINGTON: Feminist woman only. Child welcome. Share downtown home, gar den. Friendly, clean & order ly. NS, no pets. $325/mo.+ utils. Call, 860-6828. CHARLOTTE: Wanted! Responsible, considerate, clean & quiet person for charming & peaceful home. Two plus rooms, $450/mo. +1/2 utils. No smoking, dogs or TV junkies. 425-3597. CO LCH ESTER: Responsible person, 25-30, to share artist house on Colchester pond. Very clean, quiet farm house. $425/mo. inch all. 879-1162., after 6 pm., or leave msg. HINESBURG: Want to share a house w/three dancing, gardening, cooking, musical, free-thinking people and 2 cats? 800-acre farm, mtn. views, W/D, sorry no dogs. $250/mo.+utils. 482-5776. HINESBURG: Share lovely home in wooded setting, dog- friendly. $400/mo. inch all. Avail. 5/1. 482-2394. MORETOWN: Roommate wanted in village apt. on Mad River. $305/mo.+utils. heat inch W/D. 496-6223. MORETOWN: Roommate for sunny, country home, com plete with critters. $350/mo. inch utils., cable, W/D. 496-2369. NEW HAVEN: Responsible housemate to share my 3bdrm. home. $400/mo. inch utils. Sorry, no pets. Call Steve, 453-5570.

RICHMOND: Mature, neat housemate for 2 -bdrm. apt.

BEAUTIFUL, EDUCATED

Deck, yard, W/D, storage. No pets, no smoke. $400/mo. +utils. 434-2446. WEYBRIDGE: Roommate wanted to share 2 -bdrm. apt. in country setting. Mature, responsible, non-smoker. Sorry, no pets. Rent inch utils, except phone. Leave msg., 545-2490.

ROOM FOR RENT ST. ALBANS: Roommates wanted in town. Two rooms, utils, inch No smokers. Substance-free. $50/wk. Refs. req. Call, 524-0489.

VACATION RENTALS ADIRONDACKS: Charming,

rustic cabin, w/sleeping loft, over stream & falls, fully equipped, comes with studio cabin, total privacy. 1- 1/2 hrs. from Burl. $350/wk. 863-5485. MARTHA’S VINEYARD: West Tisbury. 3-bdrm., 2BA, house w/private beach rights. Avail, for wkly. rental, July-Aug. Call Jerry (owner)*, 781-659-4164.

SITUATIONS WANTED NATURAL RESO U RCES prof,

seeks house/apt./room rental w/in 45 min. of Burl. Quiet setting w/ garden space a plus. Solid references. Please call 482-6323.

Hungarian ladies of all ages seeking relationships. Free brochure/information. Please write to: Global, Box 63062, Montreal, Quebec H3E1V6. BEAUTIFUL LATIN LADIES!

Traditonal and loyal, seek friendship/marriage w/sincere gentlemen. Over 3,500 female members. Group tours to Colombia, SA. Free brochure. 954-527-1340. www.latinladies.com (AAN CAN) COMPATIBLES: Singles meet by being in the same place as other singles. We’ve made this the best time to connect you. Details, 863-4308. www.compatibles.com.

Dear Tom and Ray: I just purchased a new Mazda Miata. Like in many cars these days, the oil filter is not exactly easy to get to. I have seen advertised a “remote oil filter. ”It seems to be a device that screws into the regular oil-filter port and uses hydraulic lines to a remote oil-filter port, which gets placed in an easier-to-reach Loca tion. The only downside, it seems to me, is that you need more oil. Is there anything else wrong with this ideal — Paul RAY: Well, there is one other danger. When you introduce hydraulic lines into the system, there’s always a chance that the lines will fail. And if the hydraulic lines fail, you’ll lose your oil pressure catastrophical ly — before you can say, “W hat’s that rapping noise in my new Miata?” TOM : So if you do this, you want to be sure that you route the hydraulic lines carefully, avoiding anything that could burn them or chafe against

VIDEO SERVICES

WEDDING SERVICES

PSYCHICS HOLD THE KEY

NORTHERN IMAGE VIDEO

GETTING MARRIED? Music

Production & Duplication. High-quality, creative & affordable. Commercials, industrials, PSAs & docu mentaries. Call Bill Meisenzahl, 862-1645, ext. 16.

for your ceremony &/or reception from VT legends Rachel Bissex & Stephen Goldberg. Romantic love songs to swinging dance tunes. Jazz/Folk/Rock. 8636648.

WEDDING SERVICES

HOMEBREW

to your future! Call today! 1-900-267-9999, ext. 8113 $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. of age. U-SERV. (619) 645-8434 HAIR STYLIST: The one and only Tim Melow. “This cat is tuned into hair like I am tuned into housecleaning,” says Diane H., housekpr. to the stars. Schedule with Tim at Haircrafters, 863-4871.

network for relationshipminded single adults. Professional, intelligent, per sonal. Lifetime membership, newsletter. Call for free info, (800) 775-3090.

FINANCIAL SERVICES CASH LOANS. Auto loans.

Debt consolidation. Bad credit OK. 800-471-5119, ext. 222. (AAN CAN) $ $ $ N E E D A LOAN?

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them. And even then, you’ll want to check them regularly to be sure they’re not deterio rating or leaking. RAY: But with that caveat, these remote oil filters work fine. And if it means you’ll change your oil more frequent ly, it’s probably a good thing overall. TOM : The only other problem is finding a good place to put it in the Miata. You might have to mount it right on top of the dashboard. Dear Tom and Ray: I found the enclosed article on the “Platinum Gasaver”from the National Fuelsaver Corp. o f Boston. I bought one. It cost me $168 and is guaranteed to increase my gas mileage by 22 percent. The article explains that the Gasaver connects to a vacu um line and emits microscopic quantities o f platinum to the fuel/air mixture, which makes more o f the fuel burn. The article states: “A fter studying this process for five years, the government concluded: Independent testing shows greater fuel savings with the Gasaver than the 22 percent claimed by the developer. ” What do you think? — Henry RAY: I think you should send it

MAKE GREAT BEER AT HOME for only 500/bottle.

THE B E LLE S: Flute and

piano duo for weddings, tea parties and other social gath erings, classical/fol k/nostalgia. In/outdoors. Call Mara McReynolds, 862-3581.

Brew what you want when you want! Start-up kits & prize-winning recipes. Gift certifs. are a great gift. VT Homebrew Supply, Rt. 15, Winooski. 655-2070. VERGENNES TO MILTON: I

N.E. SIN G LES CONNEC TION: Dating and friendship

Car MIATA OWNER WANTS TO RELOCATE HARDTO-REACH OIL FILTER

MISC. SERVICES

w ould like to share d riv in g on my d a ily co m m u te . I work 7 am 3 pm . M-F. ( 3 1 7 2 )

inection Call 8 6 4 -C C T A to JERICHO to ESSEX: I work at IBM and need a ride home from work. I get off work at 3 :3 0 pm . M -F and live on Lee R ive r Rd. ( 32 6 4 ) S O . BURL, to SO . BURL.: I am loo king for a ride to work on Co m m unity Drive. My hours are 8 :30 a m - 5 :0 0 pm . M -F with som e flexib ility. ( 32 6 6 )

ESSEX JCT. to ESSEX JCT.: I am loo king for a ride on my short, 4 m ile com m ute to work. I work 7 am - 3 :3 0 pm . M-F. ( 3 2 6 3 )

HINESBURG to ESSEX: I work j the D 1 sh ift at IBM and would like to share d rivin g w/someone. (3 2 6 0 )

RTE. 15 (COLCH/ESSEX) to BURL.: I work Tu -F ri and have a ESSEX/MILTON PARK&RIDE to ST. ALBANS I w ould like to share d riv in g to work. My hrs. are 6 : 30 a m - 3 pm . M, Tu, Th , F. (3 2 6 2 )

HUNTINGTON to COLCHESTER: G o in g m y way? I ’m h o p in g to get a ride to work. My hours are 8 4 : 3 0 , M-F, & are som ew hat fle xi ble. ( 3 2 4 3 )

COLCH. to IBM: I work the N 8 s h ift— 7 am to 7 pm W -Sat. and am loo king for a ride to work. P is ca ll m e. ( 3 2 5 9 )

BURL, to WIN.: H e a d in g into W inooski at the c ra c k of dawn? need a ride! I work 6 a m - 4:30 pm , M-F. ( 3 2 5 8 ) MILTON to BURL.: I am loo king for a ride into B u rl, one day/m o., preferably d u rin g the first week of the m onth. I can go & return at any tim e of the day. ( 3 2 5 6 )

JERICHO to COLCH.: I would

B U R L to WILLISTON: I am

like to share d rivin g w/someone on my da ily com m ute. I need to be at work b/w 8 - 9 am and I work until 5 pm . M-F. ( 1189 )

loo king for a ride from Sh e lb u rn e R d . to W lliston. My hrs are l l a m - 7 pm . M -F ( 3 2 5 4 )

ESSEX JCT. to IBM: I need a ride to work. I’m h o p in g that som eone who w orks at IBM can p ic k me up on th e ir way to work. My hours are 8 : 3 0 - 5 , M-F. (3 2 3 9 ) ESSEX CTR. to IBM: I work the N 8 s h ift and am h o p in g to get a ride from som eone who is also w orking that sh ift. ( 3 2 3 8 )

VANPOOL RIDERS WANTED

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back and spend the $168 on gas, Henry. Some years ago, I tried one of these very devices in my own truck as an experi ment, and I’ve never noticed any difference in mileage. TOM: First of all, the “article” you sent is actually an “ad” that’s designed to look like a newspaper article. So keep in mind that there’s not even a pretense of objectivity here. RAY: They mention “the gov ernment” doing tests. But they don’t say W H IC H government. It could be the government of East Timor. Or it could be quotes from “government” attorneys in response to a rash of consumer complaints about the product. So we have no idea what these tests are, who conducted them or whether the results are legitimate or not. TOM: All we know is that in our experience, these things never work. Some people DO experience an increase in mileage after installing gas-sav ing devices, but it’s often because they WANT to see an increase in mileage and do other things that save fuel — like accelerate and drive more slowly. RAY: We’re happy to look at any actual research that was done — as long as we get the complete results, along with the methodology and sources. And if real scientific evidence proves we’re wrong, we’ll be glad to say so. Dear Tom and Ray:

very fle xib le sch e d u le . I am hop in g to get a ride into B u rl, som e tim e in the late m orning and return anyw here around 4 or 5 pm ( 3 2 4 7 )

Verm ont

Rideshare

I have a 1998 B M W 528i sports edition — and only one speeding ticket so far. Shortly before a long road trip, my dealer rotated my tires at a regular ser vice (at about 9,500 miles). Although the car still rode very well, I noticed a slight difference in turning and handling. When I looked at the owner’s manual that evening, the manual clearly stated on page 107: “In the interest o f safety and optimal vehicle response, we advise against rotating tires. Braking and traction may be adversely affected. ”I called several B M W dealers. All said they always rotate tires to extend the tread life. So why does B M W recom mend against rotating tires as a matter o f practice? — Pat RAY: The key words in the owner’s manual are “optimal vehicle response.” And you know how serious the Germans are about optimizing every thing, right? They’re the ones who refused to provide cup holders to Americans because, “Vee see no reason vy ze driver should desire a beverage. Ze car is zatisfaction enough.” TOM: BMW is right that han dling and braking can be affect ed by rotating the tires. And they’ve correctly concluded that it would be most noticeable: a) on a precise-handling car like a BMW; and b) by people who are very picky about tneir cars, like BMW 528i sports edition owners.

RAY: Over time, each tire on the car develops a unique wear pattern based on which corner of the car it’s on. So when you switch them, you do — at least temporarily — alter the han dling. TOM : Then, after a few hun dred miles, the tire wears down to its new position and every thing is normal. By the way, that’s also why rotated tires last longer. By wearing them down in different areas, rather than wearing them all the way down in one area, you extend their life. RAY: If you want to minimize the impact on the car’s han dling, you’d have to rotate the tires frequently, before the wear >atterns were firmly estabished. A spokesman at BMW says that if you’re going to rotate the tires, it’s best to do it every 3,000 miles. But then, he says, it becomes cost-prohibi tive. TO M : Right. If you spend $25 to rotate the tires every 3,000 miles, and the tires last 48,000 miles instead o f 36,000 miles, that extra 12,000 miles will cost you almost $400 bucks in tire-rotation costs! RAY: And come to think of it, I guess that answers your origi nal question, Pat. “W hy do the dealers rotate tires even though BMW recommends against it?”

Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care o f this newspaper, or e-mail them by visiting the Car Talk section o f cars.com on the World Wide Web.

Jj*.

•,T :

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Straight

RIGHTS AND WRONGS, PART TWO Last week’s column about the myth that wife-beating jumps 40 percent following the Super Bowl reminds me of another hard-to-swallow statistic I’ve run across, this one in Baker v. Vermont, the 1999 Vermont Supreme Court ruling that gay and lesbian couples deserve the same rights as married straight couples (dol.state.vt.us/gopher_root3/supct/current/98-032.op). Citing a scholarly article, the court said that “between 1.5 and 5 million lesbian mothers resided with their children in [the] United States between

J e f f r y G a lp e r, P h .D ., A d v a n c e d C e r t if ie d R o lf e r R o t t in g A s s o c ia te s , In c., 865-4770 w w w .t o g e t h e r.n e t / ~ v t ro lfe r

1989 and 1990.” The court also cited an article entitled “Children of the Lesbian Baby Boom” in Lesbian and Gay Psychology, observing that “although precise estimates are difficult, the number of families with lesbian mothers is growing.” Mercy, I thought. We’re living in a changed world. Can there really be 5 million lesbian moms with kids at home? I decided to find out. I looked up the scholarly article cited in the Vermont decision (“Lesbians Choosing Motherhood,” Flaks et al., 1995). Right off the bat I got an indication the numbers were flaky. The article didn’t say 1.5 to 5 million lesbian moms lived with their kids between 1989 and 1990. It merely quoted numbers from articles published in 1989 and 1990. The quoted articles didn’t contain original research, either, but cited still earlier articles. Eventually I tracked the numbers down. The higher fig ure — 5 million lesbian moms — apparently came from a plaintiff’s trial brief in a 1975 divorce case in Wayne County, Michigan (Detroit). The Wayne County clerk’s office informed me that a copy of this document would cost $198, too rich for what struck me as a highly suspect source. Besides, even the lower figure — 1.5 million les bian moms — was doubtful. A 1976 article in the Buffalo Law Review explained that “there are an estimated 11 mil lion lesbians in America — one out of every 10 women.” The article estimated that 13 to 20 percent of lesbians were mothers. Thirteen percent of 11 million was 1.43 million. There were two problems with this number. The first was that the 10 percent estimate for the incidence of les bianism, once commonly cited, was probably high. Current estimates generally run in the 3 to 6 percent range. Applying this number to 1990 census data, we arrive at an estimate of 500,000 to 1 million lesbian moms. The second problem with the 1.5 million figure was that the article never claimed it was the number of lesbian moms living with their children — that embellishment was added by later authors. The number we’ve just computed is the total number of lesbians with children. The majority of those children are adults no longer living at home. In 1990 only 26 percent of the U.S. population was under 18. Making certain simplifying assumptions, we may estimate

seven days home on earth issue may 3

that 130,000 to 260,000 lesbian moms have children liv ing at home. One can dispute these numbers, too. The publicity sur rounding gay adoption and artificial insemination notwith standing, most children of lesbian mothers are the product of traditional heterosexual relationships. Although many marriages involving lesbians no doubt end in divorce, it seems likely that in their early years many, perhaps most, of the children are raised in a conventional mom-and-dad environment. There has been a sharp increase in the num ber of single moms, but the percentage of these women who are openly lesbian is probably low due to the hostility of the courts, which have been reluctant to give lesbians custody. These factors would tend to reduce the number of lesbian families. On the other hand, some research suggests that half of lesbians have children, not just 13 to 20 per cent. Is it impossible to know, then, how many lesbian moms are living with their kids? Not necessarily. An indication may be obtained from the Census Bureau, which estimates that 135,000 U.S. households consist of two unrelated women with children under 15 at home (comparable num ber for males: 32,000). One may argue whether this num ber over- or understates the actual number of lesbian fami lies, but I think it gives a ballpark idea. Add in your own guesstimate of the number of single-parent lesbian families, and it’s easy to believe there are a quarter-million lesbian households with young children. Possibly there are more, but claims of 1.5 to 5 million are far-fetched. In short, an implausibly large number that arose from a comedy of errors and escaped scrutiny because it was useful in an argument has now been used to support a ruling by Vermont’s highest court. I don’t claim the mistake invali dates the court’s opinion — however you figure it, millions of children have been born to lesbian moms, and in a bet ter world more of these kids would be raised by their mothers. Nor do 1 claim womens rights advocates are uniquely prone to exaggeration. But the preceding exercise does show you how the facts get trampled in the heat of debate. ® — CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? C ecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write C ecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illin o is, Chicago, IL 6 0 6 1 1 , or e-mail him at cecil@ chireader.com .

^ w

m m k

ftpril 2 0

- 2 6 - this is prime time to perfect iy o u r imitation o f the bull elk.

A R IES

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): The gods generally don’t have a problem with us humans being happy. W hat gets their goat is when we become all puffed up about it. Greek legend tells, for instance, how A lcyone and Ceyx enjoyed such a blissful marriage that they started calling each other Zeus and Hera, chiefs o f the Olympian gods. The real royal cou ple wasn’t pleased with this cocky glee, and rained down a spate o f punishments. I mention this, Aries, because you are now savoring a glori ous grace period but have not yet begun to get arrogant about your good fortune. Let’s keep it that way, please. Practice the art o f gratitude with a driving passion and bestow your most ingenious generosity on everyone you encounter.

TAU RU S

AQUARIUS <>„ 20 alone, I do believe many o f you Geminis will have a talent for hocuspocus during the com ing weeks, no matter what your birthdate. And that should prove invaluable as you try to escape seemingly foolproof traps and seek to make 900-pound gorillas dis appear.

CA N CER

(June 21-July 22): As a Type B personality living in a Type A world, I’m constantly asked to compromise my commitment to relaxation. As a curious and innocent seeker who treasures original thinkers, I have to fight to keep from being demoralized by the prolifera tion o f self-appointed know-it-alls who relentlessly spew reams o f dog gerel and cant. As a sensitive and methodical Cancerian, I’ve got to be self-protective in the face o f all the shoot-from-the-hip extroverts I encounter. And yet I’m happy to report that at this m oment in history, many people who share my warm and fuzzy style are more likely than ever before to coax rewards out o f civilization’s Big Rude Steely Mach ine. I think you may be one o f us.

(Apr. 20-M ay 20):

Remember the Age o f Aquarius? That was the experimental, liberating era we were supposed to have been in the thick o f by now. O nly thing is, we’ve slipped into a mini-Age o f Taurus, which is just about as oppo site to the Age o f Aquarius as you can get. The earthy, industrious, ^pragmatic climax o f the Taurus Epoch will soon be upon us, as seven planets rendezvous in the sign o f the Bull! In your lifetime, the world will never be cast in your image more completely than it will be in the near future. To take maximum advantage, make damn sure that the mountain you’re climbing is the right one. If it’s not, switch mountains immediately!

LEO

GEMINI .(May 21-June 20): In his book Your Stars Are Numbered, Lloyd Cope proposes a hybrid form -o f divination that blends astrology and numerology. As one example o f the results, he asserts that Geminis born on June 11 are well-suited for a career in any activity dependent on ./ illusion. I’m no expert in numerolo gy, so I can’t confirm his theory. But judging from the astrological aspects

(July 23-Aug. 22): If we were living in medieval times, I’d suggest that you trek to the holy shrine at Chartres in France and drink from the healing water there. If you’re one o f the growing number o f folks in India reading my column on the Internet, my advice is for you to make a pilgrimage to the Ganges River and purify yourself in its hal lowed currents. But since you’re probably a jaded citizen o f modern Western culture — meaning it’s unlikely there’s any place you regard as a sacred sanctuary — I’ll just rec ommend that you stroll on over to the oldest tree you know and drop a water balloon on your head while

60 -------------Magnon 104 Mortgage, for one 61 Droop 63 Composer 105 Gentle — lamb Rorem 107 ’68 64 Ordered Temptations 65 Herriman song feline 110 Bearse or 66 Wont Blake 69 Archery 112 Worlditem fiber ' weary 71 Fathers a 20 Artemis, in 114 Zeno's foal Rome ' home 72 Get by, with 21 Costa — “out” -V 115 Horror-film 22 Beatrix extras Potter book 73 Identical 116 — Aviv 74 Killjoys 25 T —, c’est 77 bien!” 118 Marx or moi"; Malden 78.Sphere 26 Stadium 79 ‘The Color 121 “Later, 27 Whirl Luis!" Purple" 28 — Dawn character 125 Anesthetize Chong an audience 80 “Well, 9 ’60s talk126 ’80 Eddie show host I’ll be!" Rabbitt hit 81 Modern 30 go 131 Hurler malady bragh!" , Hershiser 33 Latin rhythm 83 RimskyKorsakov’s 132 Feelings 36 Cooks “Le Coq —” 133 Vestige chestnuts 134 Hawaii’s 38 “Hee Haw” 84 Got off state bird 85 Fitting regular 135 Present for 87 Organ of 43 “Cara —” equilibrium < pop (’65 song) 136 Steen 88 Seville 44 Dirty stand shout 45 Maris of 89 Arm bone 137 Long“Nurses” legged 90 Kathy of 46 Verve wader country 47 Islamic 138 British 93 Pageant deity school prop 50 Wander 97 Gets 53 VDT unit DOWN mushy 56 Creative ' 1— 99 Feathered type V-:: California friend? 58 John of V'v. 2 PC ^ “Madame i 101 Poorly 103 Drag, a l ^ W X", ACRO SS

1 Renowned rabbit 5 Iraqi port 10 Wing it 15 Iowa hrs. 18 PDQ, politely 19 Synthetic

be page 52

SEVEN

3 Go fish or * golf 4 Grand relative 5 Showy scarf 6 French sculptor 7 Disparage 8 Emulated the Valkyries 9 24 Down’s home 10 Citrus cooler 11 Accomplish ed 12 Designer Ashley 13 Cuzco native 14 They make lots of dough 15 ’91 Billy Crystal film 16 Inadequate 17 “Soap” family 21 Fix 23 Creche figure 24 Domestic guanacos 31 Rage 32 Vincent Lopez's theme song 34 Cheerful tune 35 Maglie or Mineo 37 Heaps

i « r hus® o s 3M

april 19, 2000

begging for a vision o f rowdy truth.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Please repeat the following prayer 10 times every day: “I wish I could eat an unimaginable dessert in a strange new land. I wish I could breathe twice as deeply as I do now. I wish I could turn myself into a fearless Hell’s Angel biker for three hours, then change back into myself. I wish I belonged to a tribe o f kind-hearted tricksters who loved to surprise each other. I wish I could bite into the juiciest peach at the same time I got an idea for an adventure that would make me cry tears o f joy. I wish I could go all the way, never look back, have nothing to lose, feel no guilt, leap across the chasm, praise mysteri ous heroes, dance in the street after midnight, and worship a wildly responsive female deity.”

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): To help you in your adventures this week, Libra, I’ll summarize “What to Do If Caught Between a Lion and a Crocodile,” a tale about Baron von Munchausen as told by Doris Orgel. It seems the Baron was hunting ducks in the wilds o f Ceylon (now Sri Lanka) when he was surprised by a hungry lion. As he turned to run, he found himself staring into the maw o f a huge crocodile. Escape was impossible. To his right was a raging river and to his left a yawning chasm. “I gave myself up as lost,” he report ed, “and fell to the ground.” The lion, who had chosen this exact moment to leap towards him, sailed over its target and plunged head-first into the mouth o f the croc. The Baron was saved! Your predicament won’t be quite so literal, Libra, but you can use a similar gambit.

91 Skagway’s 38 AAA state handout 92 Shampoo 39 A mean additive Amin 94 Mohammed 40 Baseball's — Jinnah Steve 95 Pantyhose 41 Caution problem 42 “Raid on —" 96 Mellow (’77 film) 98 Tree trim 48 Activist 100 “For Me and Hoffman My —” 49 TV’s (’17 song) Afire" 102 Actor 51 Actor Brynner Jonathan 52 Shoppers’ 105 Homegrown 108 “Big Bad sacks John” 54 Otherwise singer 55 73 Down 109 Novelist escapee Gordimer 57 Adored one 59 “— Fideles" 110 Head monk 111 Native New 62 Former Zealander military 112 Hunks of chairman gunk 66 King or Lombard 113 Big revolver? 67 American 117 Director . magnolia Kazan 68 Actress 119 Hard to find Mercouri 120 Inventive 70 Witty one sort? 71 Doubter 73 Biblical city 122 “— Around" (’64 hit) 75 Cronus, for 123 “What have one I done!" 76 Tidy 124 British gun 77 Austin or 127 Center of Garr gravity? 79 Brought 128 New citi about zen's subj. 82 Inform 129 Sgt. or cpI. 86 Inform 90 Southwest 130 Kyoto currency ern sight

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Looks like your forced march through the Unpromised Land didn’t turn out as bad as you feared. That metaphorical snake bite was unfortu nate, but hey, you’re still alive — maybe even a little energized by the excitement o f it all. The only other real trauma was the loss o f a cher ished dream. To be honest, though, that dream was keeping you stuck in the past, and you’re actually better off without it. You’re now so empty and karmically clean that you’ve got plen ty o f room for the best kind o f fresh temptations.

SA G ITTA RIU S

(Nov. 22-D ec. 21): Your guiding spirit in the coming days will be Vulcan, the sweaty blacksmith god. A skilled and tireless craftsman, he is said to forge both magical weapons and gorgeous jewelry. Though he’s lame and rough looking, his inventive genius ensures that important people are attracted to him. All o f the qualities I just described resemble the poetic truth about you, Sagittarius. In the coming week you may not always look and feel your best, but you’ll have a tremendous capacity for harnessing your fiery passions as you hammer out beautiful and useful creations.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22

Jan. 19): During rutting season, the typical bull elk o f Yellowstone Park unleashes a steady stream o f melodi ous bellows. The cries alert receptive female elk to the availability o f a sexy crooner with a powerful set o f lungs and a body to match, while at the same time they send male competi tors the defiant message, “Better not mess with m e.” I would like you to consider the possibility, Capricorn, that no matter what gender you are,

Feb. 18): Eager to exploit the fountain o f Taurean energy now sweeping the planet, I’ve attuned myself to the sober, prudent spirit o f the Bull. The result? O ne o f the most practical horoscopes you Aquarians will ever receive from me. Here it is. Best days for channeling messages from Hindu or pagan gods o f wealth that will help you rev up your cash flow: April 20, 30. Best days to enhance your sensual wisdom by making love for hours: April 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28. Best days to bring yourself one step closer to feel ing more at home in the world: April 21, 23, 27. Best day to seek job improvements by rubbing magical talismans obtained from thrift stores or ads in the back pages o f tabloids: April 24, 26.

P IS C E S

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): “Two souls, alas, dwell in my breast,” Goethe’s Faust says, “and each seeks to rule without the other.” A similar testimony could have easily been uttered by you on numerous occa sions during the last few years, Pisces — and especially during the past few weeks. That’s the bad news. The good news is that those dueling masters are now edging towards collaboration. N o later than May 5, I expect them to — gasp! — agree on a common

You can call Rob B rezsny, day or night for your

expanded weekly horoscope 1-900 -90 3-2 500 S I . 99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone, c/s 612/373-978S And don’t forget to check out Rob’s Web site at www.freewillastrology.com Updated Tuesday night.

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SW F, 3 7 , ISO

SM, 35-50, slightly off-beat, open-minded, appreciates the finer things. Look past my figure to the zany, passionate woman I really am. 2115_________________________________ DWPF, 46, ATTRACTIVE, W ITTY EDUCATOR.

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funny, fit, intelligent WPF ISO 33-45, smart witty, attractive, SWPM to share “Person to Person” gift certificate to Dog Team for the sticky stuff. 2067

IF I W ER E YOUR W OM AN ...D W PF, 4 0 S , attrac

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NUCLEAR PH YSICIST, ANTHRO PO LO GICALLY

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2403______ _____________ W IS E W OM AN ISO GENTLE W ARRIO R, 4 5 + , to

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In y o u r response to

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IN STA N T A C C ESS

• • # •

Le^t Out in Lyndon ville

D ear Le tt Cut, What are you, a m oron? P rin cip le *1 is to recognize others' c a p a c i ty te r growth, and not p u t them dow n te r w hat they don't know. Though I'm not su re you deserve to know *2, I'll m ake an exception a n d tell you that it ’s fa irn ess, as in rea lizin g others have as m uch right to m aterial com fort — a n d know l edge — as you do. N um ber 3 is not setting y o u rse lf on a pedestal above others. N um ber 4 is to give cre d it where it's due. As fo r where these P rin cip le s come from ...the im p ortant thing is that you read about them here. Love,

Jjo la

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rm j& o lw ty ju x w m , a m i

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stretch my heart. 42, NS, teacher. Smart, ten der, athletic, artistic. ISO light-hearted, funny, active, adventurous F. 2276_________________ PO SITIV E S PIR IT, 6 ’ , 1 8 3 LBS., W H O KNOW S

growing pains ISO soul mate who is physi cally & mentally healthy in her 40s. Slender to medium. Breathe life, be positive. 2286 NICE-LOOKING, 5 ’9 ” , BLUE EYES, 5 0 , athletic,

fit, clean, healthy, 162 lbs., fun to be with, romantic, serious, casual, independent, liber al. Desire to share good times, outdoors, and more. 2290____________________________ W AVEM AKER. LOVES TO PLAY IN TH E BOAT.

Good-looking M, brain working, ISO orally inclined, erotic playmate. We’ll throw all the toys on the floor, reach down & pick one. 2287 ________________________________ ATTRACTIVE, SW M , 20-S O M E T H IN G , ISO F, of

any age for sexploration, no strings attached. Can and will be discreet, same expected. Leave a message 81 let’s get together! 2285_____________________________ VERM O N T M ATE. ENJOY M U SIC, NATURE,

exercise, movies, home. I’m from VT, 5’8”, 45. Hoping to meet 4oish F who is emotion ally available, not wealthy, intelligent, kind of shy. Chittenden County. 2279_____________ SW M , LATE 4 0 S , W OULD LIKE T O M EET A

dark-skinned F, 30S-40S, who is open, hon est & loves mother nature to explore VT unveiled. Fun in the sun. Burlington. 2277 TH E TAX MAN CO M ETH ,

s ’i o

" , 1 7 0 LBS. NS,

W O N DER BOY, 3 8 , FIT, DARING, DASHING,

ISO Wonder Girl, gorgeous, graceful, strong. Immense curiosity, resourceful irony & tran scendent physical aptitude have prepared us to fly & burn up the stratosphere. 2238 2 7 , DW M , 6 ’, 2 1 0 LBS. LOVE KID S. TIRED OF

headgames. ISO S/DWF, 22-35, who enjoys country, rock music, quiet eves, at home, romance & honesty for friendship/LTR. 2206 *I DWM, 5 2 , ISO 4 0 - 5 2 LADY TO SH A RE G OOD

times and V T’s Spring. I’m a retired homeowner who enjoys life at my location on Battery Hill to socialize. 2205_______________ LOVERS D O N T FINALLY M E E T SO M EW H ERE,

they’re in each other all along. Tall, fit, blond, blue, vegetarian. Deep spiritual long ing, simple country homestead, hard work, rich intimacy, solitude, nature, committed partnership. 2230_____________ ____________ I A M A DOG IN A M AN’S BODY. SEE KIN G F,

5-7 dog years. If you “come” we can “sit,” “stay” and have a “cookie.” Maybe later we can “down." 2229__________________________ I’ M

34. TALL,

attractive, intelligent, professional, creative, sincere, relationship-oriented. If you’re 25-33, know what connection really is, call, let’s see if we have it. 2237_________________________ SPR IN G FLING ...SW M ,

39.

6 ’, 1 9 0 LBS., ISO

SWF for adventures in the mountains, on the lake, etc. If you’re active, optimistic, educat ed, love dogs and have a wacky sense of humor, give a call for more info. 2227_______ M , 21, ISO F CO M PAN IO N . CRAZIES OK, IF

medicated, but please, no fatties. 2226

D y k e S T o W a fd l

HOOP

A s o k in q w o m e n

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day

FIT SW M , INDEPENDENT, PASSIONATE,

enthralled by Monet, Dali, Renaissance art, active outdoor adventures, exploring. Intrigued by fit, confident belay partner to uncover life’s inspirations & destinations. 2217______________________________________ I’ M 44 , D, 3 KID S, D ESCRIBED A S NICE,

BiWF, STUDENT, 21: DREADS, BOOTS, B ICY CLE. ISO Bi or GF w/humor, empathy, back-

ass logic. No prissy girly-girls! I’m anti-car, pro-Merlot, neo-Luddite! Don’t spend the summer twilight alone. 2471________________ hot, bi/curious F, 20-40, for pampering/play. I crave attention while boyfriend is away. 3way play when he’s not. Discretion assured.

PAN IS BACK. AFTER AN EXTENDED WALK

^322_________________________

about he is again roaming the Green Mtns. in praise of life & living. Climb, ski, bike, lend your feminine energy to the celebration. 2159______________________________________ SW M , 31, FIT AND READY. ISO 2 5 -3 5 , GOOD-

tooking, honest, loving for fun and sharing. Desire LTR eventually, but know that can take time. Sort of new to VT, don’t know many people. 2163__________________ ' G EN ER O SITY & TLC TO A F W HO IS SEXY

Bi-CU RIO U S F, 21, ATTRACTIVE, 5*4” , 130.

ISO fun, uninhibited, attractive bi-sexual F, 20-23, for frivolous, titillating escapade(s). Very open-minded. Please call. 2270________ GWF, 19, RED HAIR, GREEN EYES. ISO honest

& understanding F, who is social and knows how to have a good time. 2046

m d d n q vm n

or pretty. Me: SM, medium-length hair, intel ligent, well-groomed, 39+. You: age 18-? Not much time required. 2146__________________ I NEED INTELLECTUAL W O RKO U T PARTNER.

SWM, 21, 5’8”, 160 lbs. for exercise, dancing, conversation, shopping. Just living it up. Bright smiles and personalities only. Sense of humor a must. 2153_____________________ SPR IN G AHEAD W / T H IS M ID -LIFE COW BOY,

ride along life’s happy trails, share stories around a fire & explore the unknown. ISO of fit, NS F who likes to ride. 2149____________ blonde/blue, Pisces — punk music, art films & the great outdoors. ISO SWF, 18-26, for a fun playmate!! Anything goes!! 2168_________

NUCLEAR PH YSICIST

Hiker’s Guide to VT from

3 7Y O WF, 5 ’i o ” , 12 0 LBS., ISO UNATTACHED,

easy-going guy. I’m searching for a special lady that wants to start as friends and see if it develops into romance, love. 2210________

CREATIVE, SM ART, SW M , 2 3 , 6 ’ , 165 LBS.,

fit, young, 50, w/hair & teeth, dining, danc ing, skiing, sense of humor, good-looking & good w/figures. ISO lady who’s paid her taxes. 2209________________________________

CONNECTION IS EVERYTHING.

likes music, cars, movies, 420 & kids. Good bdrm. skills a plus. 20-35, n° head games. Where have all the good times gone? 2203

ANTHROPOLOGICALLY APPROPRIATE, DECON STRUCTIONIST, CLASSICAL, CARNIVAL ARTIST. DWM, 48, 6’, 175 LBS., POSITIVE, HANDSOME, HIP, OPENMINDED, ERUDITE, SPONTA NEOUS, PROCRASTINATING, STIMULATING, COSMOPOLI TAN HICK. ISO INTERESTING F FOR POSSIBLE FUSION EXPERIMENTS. 2 4 5 8

•The Outdoor Gear 1 used • closeout • new 191 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

and a $25 gift certificate to THE DOG TEAM TAVERN Dog Team Rd., Middlebury 388-7651

I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE

wrong places. I’m 37, 5’9”, 175 lbs., ISO guy(s), under 40, for fun times. Let’s rock Vermont. 2419_____________________________ BiW M , 2 9 , 5 ’8” , BLONDE/BLUE, ATHLETIC,

attractive ISO S to hang out and do things together. Enjoy tennis, laughing my ass off and having a good time. 2322______________

SM ART, SAVVY SEN IO R SEE K S SIM ILAR

sociable sorts for acquaintanes, possible friendship, enjoy conversation, pleasure, sur prises, humor. Eves, in/out, here/there. Limited budget, unlimited enthusiasm. 2208

W H ERE ARE ALL TH E M A CRO BIO TIC FOLKS? I

am seeking to connect w/experienced cooks/ practitioners to learn from/with. 2400_______ NEED NO REPLY, JUST STO P BY W H ERE THE

South Burlington mall buildings are blue. I will meet you. Think music. M, 50s, ISO SF, NS, for friendship, let’s visit. 2267

S & M BU DD IES W ANTED! GWM, 3 5 , 6 ’, 180,

handsome, rugged type ISO dominant M, 2545, to use, punish and humiliate me. 2324 M E SLAVE? YOU M ASTER? GIVE A CALL, SIR.

2323________________________________

LOVING S PR IN G ... SW P M , 5 6 , W HAT’S impor

M E: A BO U T TO TURN 4 0 T H IS SPRING . STO P

tant? Friends, the country life, thoughts, val ues, passions, humor ISO a kind woman who walks lightly on the sands of time. 2169

March Madness. ISO good company besides. Break the Silence because “good romance” is the best truth & dare of all! 2283________

SW M , 18, ISO SEXY, HORNY F TO HAVE HOT I TRAVEL TH E USA. I’ M AN A TTRACTIVE F. I

TO TH E 1 0 0 % PERFECT GIRL FOR M E. JUST

H ANDSOM E, EDUCATED, ATHLETIC, SU C E S S FUL SWM ISO a LTR w/ an attractive, outgo

BiW M , BROW N/BROW N, ISO BiM FOR ADULT

have fantasies about tying and teasing M or F. i also have a nurse fantasy. Discretion a must. Not into pain. Love spike heeis. 2409

so you don’t forget, I love you. Call me.

W ANNA CO M E AND PLAY? TW O SW F ISO

You: intelligent and friendly w/young com panion. Me: preoccupied and tongue-tied. Try again. 2468____________________________

ing, spontaneous lady, 35-45. Must be wilt ing to be spoiled by a generous & romantic M w/ a great personality. 2170______ _______ S PM , 2 7 , TRANSPLANTED FLATLANDER. FIT,

fun at your house on my lunch or on Saturdays. ISO slender, short hair, 18-36, disease-free, white or black. 2214_____________ GW M, 39 , ISO STRONG-W ILLED, IND EPEN DENT, confident GWM as partner—not other

healthy, enjoys the outdoors, movies, danc ing, dining, searching for a down-to-earth, intelligent, PF, 23-30 for fun & friendship first. 2171_________________________________

half. Possess own interests and friends, w ill ing to accept mine, functions alone or in pairs. Someone who lives life. 2232_________

SW M , 5 ’i o ” , 3 7 , NS, ISO TH E RIGHT F TO

to initiate me. Be firm but gentle. Discrettion essential. No letters. 2165__________________

share all the good times with. The nights at home to cuddle. Attractive, outdoorsy, ambitious. Let’s get together. 2150______________ SW M , 3 9 , SELF-EM PLO YED CARPENTER, OUT-

door lover, homesteader living off the grid on 52 acres ISO pioneer F interested in homesteading and family to live simple selfsufficient life, close to Mother Earth. 2147 ISO A FINANCIALLY SEC U RE LADY, 2 5 -3 5 .

Must be on the petite side & cute. I am a 4oish biker who has fallen hard & needs help getting my life back together. 2123 SW M , GRAD STU DENT ISO HONEST, intelli

gent, attractive/proportionate, sensual, sexu al & spiritual person. Good communicator, passionate about life w/ minimal baggage and no (human) children. Casual & serious inquiries welcome. 2121____________________ SILLY, W ISE, HANDSO M E, SW M , 2 9 , ISO

attractive SF, 18-35. Into spiritual & healing work, deep talks, mtn. biking, cooking, sci ence, creativity, breathing, cuddling & living w/loving kindness & wonder. 2118

O n t? o r

26, B iCU RIO U S W M ISO FIT, ATTRACTIVE M

INTELLIGENT, 2 0 , M ISO S TO SPEN D TIM E

with sharing ideas and life. Must be clean & into looking good. Interests: movies, clubs, singing, shopping & hanging out. 2225 VERSATILE, BLONDE, BUILT, HAIRY. 2 6 , 1 6 0

lbs., 5’7”, seeks other hairy, built, fun men for wrestling, spanking, armpits/nipples. Kinky, down-to-earth, playful exploration. Jock daddies/scruffy boys, A+. 2162_________ GW M, 4 2 , BEAR TYPE, NORTHERN CENTRAL

VT. Variety of interests. Mother Earth, evolu tion, self-sufficiency, country living, privacy. ISO masculine, SGM, bear type, compatible interest in building LTR w/ discretion. 2109 BiM , 3 6 ,

s ’i o

", 18 0 LBS. RECENTLY OUT O F a

LTR, wants to explore the other side of life. I am straight-acting, love movies, & roaming the countryside. I love a good beer. So should you. Lets warm each other up. 2114 SATURDAY M O RNING S AT CO STCO : HOT

guys working the check out, hot guys stock ing shelves. Need to relax after work? This GM will help. 2063

encounters with. 2466_____________________

Viagra-like M, tall, dark, built, 21-30, who enjoys physical and hands-on activities. Got a friend? Bring him along, too! 2407________ SB PM , 3 0 , ISO THRILLING, STIM ULATING,

educational experience w/ an older F, 50+. I am an energetic, clean, discreet M. Call & fulfill my fantasy. Race unimportant. 2415__ SW PM , SU B M IS S IV E ISO DOM INANT, strong,

aggressive F for relationship and fun. Let’s explore together. 2326_____________________

2467________________________________ PEACE AND JUSTICE, 4/8, OUT OF NOWHERE.

A D M IR ER O F SILVE RPO IN T D RAW IN GS AT

Firehouse Gallery, 3/31/00. Would you like to get together and practice drawing perfect cirdes? 2451_________________________________ YOU: BERN ESE MTN. DOG, BEAUTIFUL EYES

and personality, reading about body axes. Me: Golden Retreiver, wishing we could go out for dinner. Please be my type A. 2463

STRAIGHT, SANE, 3 6 , SW M . HANDYMAN

I TH IN K YO UR V E S T W OULD M AKE A LOVELY

looking to help couple and ladies around their homes this spring, becoming friends and fulfilling fantasies. I’m 5’9”, 160 lbs., brown/blue, w/glasses. I’ll supply the labor, if you supply the materials. 2345_____________

dress, even if it is too short. Ditch duty and come do your rounds on me! 2462_________

SW M , 2 0 , SW E ET & INNOCENT. ISO OLDER

SF for exploration & experience. I think I’m well-hung. You be the judge. 2271__________ BIG SIS T E R TY PES ISO S F FOR NAIVE SW M ,

20. Him: into music, film & good conversa tion. You: enjoy quiet times, even-tempered, patient & don’t mind meddling friends. 2272 RO LE-REVERSAL: SB IM , 3 0 , CD ISO F W H O

likes to strap-on. Couples okay. 2201________

SN O W Y SUNDAY, HAND SO M E INDIAN GUY

downstairs at mall. My friend said you smiled at me, glared at her! This GM wants to see more of that smile. 2461____________ LIGH TS DANCING O V ER BATTERY PARK IN

the showers of heat & shivering. Spotted in veridical dreams. Did you see them three (too)? 2452_____________________________ ___ A T KRALL C O N C E R T -Y O U D ARK-HAIRED

front-row center. Taken by what I saw as I walked by. Me: Tall, grey hair/beard. I would like to make a connection. And you? 2456

ATTRACTIVE BiSW M , 3 4 , 5 ’i o ” , 1 7 0 LBS.,

CUTE BLO N DE AT TRIN ITY CO LLEG E: T7 ,

who loves to wear panties ISO M or F, 2535, to fulfill my panty fantasies. 2207

you’re the best! Stay down w/your bad self, girl! We love you! XOXO (insert standing wave here) —Kate, Leann, Allie & Jen. 2454

b y A lis o n B e c h d e l

WHO’5 SYDNEY TALKING T o ? j I WONDER IF MO F/NAU> FCtDFP AND AGREED TO OPEN RELATIONSHIP?

DREAMS PARTI

__ '! THE LADy PORCUPINE/ ARE UP

By ONE A T 17(E HATTiAC BUZZeettUNE IN NpxTTIME: AS "THE ITCHN/cAL feOU

continue/

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,. ' , - . s - , J ' fj .. -;-y • -a

to respond to a personal ad call 1-900-370-7127 • « * ©# * * # * # # # ♦ * # # • # • • • • # « • • • • < we’re open 24 hours a day! $ i.9 9 /m in u te . m ust be 18 +.

W ONDERFUL NORTHFIELD MAN. M ET YOU AT

the club on (4/7) my birthday. You wanted me to stay at my friend’s house. I got kicked out. I want to see you again. 2453__

° f ( /e

I SPY SW EET & SEX Y SO C K S GUY! YOUR

humor, intelligence & cute bum stole my heart. I am so excited to spend the rest of my life w/ you. Love you! 2405_____________

so .

join Seven Days Person-to-Person for an Exclusive

PRICE CH O PPER CH ECK -O U T LINE, YOU

Singles Wine Tasting & Lecture

almost left the greeting cards you were pur chasing, & we talked about the coming of spring & the house plant you were buying.

Saturday, May 6 • 7:30 pm

234.6_________________________

M EM O RIES: KITE FLYING DAYS, CO O L

Wine Works’ knowledgeable owners, Brent and Bill, share their expertise and teach you the difference between legs and a nose. Featuring red and white wines from Australia. Dainty delectables provided by Smokejacks.

breeze, love for real at last. Lost now amidst ashes of passion. GM, 38, ISO 43 Y.O., 6’3”, wrap-around facial hair (dyed?) thick S&P hair, nice teeth. Must know his true love is stilI here. 2341_________________ YOU W ER E LYING IN BED NEXT TO M E. I

rolled over and there you were: brown hair, shining eyes and those beautiful lips w/ their little freckles on them. I just wanted to let you know, I am thinking about you. 2332 BLUE EYES. TALL W / A BLUE SUBARU wagon

restoring vintage cars at a red Vergennes barn, fiercely guarded by Little Lulu. I’m new in town — will you be mine? 2342

Tickets are $25 per person / $ 2 0 for early registration with your free personal ad. Call Hope at 864-5684 for infor mation and tickets. Space is lim ite d f o r th is in tim a te event.

^ s.

i ,■ i To respond to Letters Only ads:

Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

w o m e n jm h in q m e n

w i w T m m rw M m z T M ‘-—

6 0 . Still optimistic, literate, well-traveled.

qualities, loves children & pets. Needs DM optimist, 40s, w/appreciation of art, intelligence & romantic qualities. Box 711________

Loves books, words, cooking, hiking, music, J.S.B. to B.B.K. ISO reasonably sane & fit F, 45+, Central VT. Similar interests. Box 721

DEEPLY B EA U TIFU L HEART-CENTERED.

PAVLOV’ S DOG SEE K S RECONDITIONING.

Preciously rare. Are you there? I am. 40’s. Box 713___________________________________

Tall, fit, SW Alpha M repeatedly beaten by loveless mother, ISO angel of mercy to remove my collar & allow me to stand on two legs. Box 722_________________________

sense of humor, love of arts, socially con scious, ISO M, 40S-50S, who is smart, funny, fit, passionate. Box 70 6 ______________________

lbs., long brown hair, brown eyes. Enjoys music,, fishing, camping, fast cars and romantic drives. ISO handsome, slender SWM, 25-38. Send photo w/letter. Box 737

H IPPIE CH ICK ISO CO O L DUDE, W HO LOVES

the awesomeness of existence, to share hon est to goodness, simple, down-to-solid-earth real times w/. Have 1 child, yupper. Box 698

PRETTY FLATLANDER ISO FRIEND, 6 0 + , TO

share love of culture, nature, & finer things of life. Box 740___________________________ SWF, 6 0 S , NEW -FASHIONED, IRISH , LOVES

words, politics, music, film, theater, sexuality, nature...not necessarily in that order. Accidental potter, deliberate writer. Consider carefully, my mind is open...Box 738________ INDEPENDENT, HONEST,

gardener, reader, humorous, not an extrovert. Enjoy intelligent, down-to-earth people. Can we be friends? Box 732____________________

m m M & k in q w om sm FUNNY, EDUCATED, JM. W ELL- READ, NEED

engaging conversation, pursue visual arts, bass on a fly rod, jazz, Bach and Krauss. Later 50s, offbeat but fully civilized. ISO LTR w/independent, smart, fit, playful F. Any bkgrd., 47-57. Picture appreciated. Box 735 W M, 3 5 , M O N TPELIER AREA. PART AM .

AM I ASKIN G TO O M UCH ? ALL I W ANT IS A

good-looking M escort for summertime events in Burlington. Me? Blonde, blue, early 40s (took younger), tall, fit. Let’s have fun! Make new friends! Box 7 3 3 ______________ OPEN YOUR HEART & YOU W ILL FIND M E. IF

you’re looking for true love, you found me. 50, DWF, LTR w/DWM, 42-52. Who knows what true love is. Box 734______________

w . m m w m T6

FIDENT, gregarious DF, 30s, old-fashioned

DPF, 4 8 , INTRIGUED BY LIFE. ADVENTUROUS, ATTRACTIVE & PETITE SW F, 3 8 , 5 ’ 2 ”, 105

I’M 6 7 W F NS -

Meet interesting people (like yourself!) while tasting, dis

SEVEN DAYS

cussing, and having fun with fine red and white wine. And no flakes — but we can’t make any promises about the weather!

Indian, French, Irish, English, 150 lbs., blue eyes. Never married, ND, NS, Vegetarian. Send photo. Hi, Steve. Box 735_______ DW M , 5 0 S , TALL, HEALTHY, STABLE, S P IR I TUAL, holisitic practitioner desires lady with

hypnotic eyes, captivating smile, sensuous feet to canoe, kayak, hike, dance, travel, other, possible LTR. Box 720

W ARM , HANDSOM E, FIT, CAPTAIN ISO M ATE

for love boat. I am a SWPF, 45, 5’9”, Let me spoil you & let’s cruise the beautiful waters of L. Champlain this summer. Box 723______ W M , 21, INCARCERATED. JUST BECAUSE I

made a mistake doesn’t mean I am a bad guy! ISO SF, 18-30 for correspondence to share thoughts & help ease the loneliness. Box 717___________________________________

30-43, to enjoy life w/. Dancing, movies, din ing out, beach or just staying home. NS ND. Box 708

see—when I walked out this morning I thought I had everything...oops! I forgot to get married. Box 718_______________________ SW M , 3 4 , 5 7 ” , 156 LBS., HANDSOM E &

handy, successful, honest, wild. ISO petite, attractive, adventurous F, 25-35. To become queen of my castle. Box 709_______________ I A M ONLY M O R T A L HOW THEN CAN I SW AY

you to write w/so few words? Attempt #1: Spring has this message for you: shake off the solitary, winterv darkness and write to another kind and searching soul. Barely 41, tall, medium build. Box 712________________ ANTI-SOCIAL, CRUDE, DISGUSTING

& UGLY.

A TTRA CTIVE M aW C u . EARLY 2 0 S , ISO BIF for

wife’s 1st fantasy. Husband will take part w/ wife only. Please send letters, photo & phone no. so we can tell more. Box 736 PL, 4 9 , IN LOVE W ITH NATURE, TH E ARTS,

spiritual practice, personal & P growth and my two cats. Seeks dance of companionship/ LTR w/ NS kindred spirit. Box 739___________ GWF, 3 8 , SM O KER , ISO MATURE, PO SITIVE,

spiritual, ND, GWF w/interest in books, cats, hiking and long conversations over coffee. Sincerity, honesty and communication a must. Friendship first. Box 728

HEALTHY, SM A RT, PRETTY, FIT, CU R IO U S WF,

31, ISO attractive, fun-loving, creative M and/or F for adventurous recreational activities. Box 729_____________________________ A TT RA CT IVE M aW C u, EARLY 3 0 S ISO OTHER

WCu, 25-45 for occasional intimate meetings. D/D Free only. Discretion a must! Send letter, photo and phone. Box 724_________________ M A RR IED , LONELY W M , LATE 5 0 S , G RAY/

m en

ISO FUNKY JEW ESS, EARLY 4 0 S , 5 V + . LET’ S

Mid 40s, “Gothic.” SWM, smoker, into cemetaries, dark music, horror & literature. ISO one “Gothic” SWF. I’m stuck in R u tla n d bored too. Box 710

SWF, 23, NEW IN BURLINGTON ISO 23-27, to hang out. Not into party life. Enjoys eating in, art, mostly cuddling. Must be fun & kind-

VERM O N T M AN 1 SHY, DW M , 4 3 , 5*10", ISO F,

A R E N T TH ERE A N Y NS, BURLINGTON-AREA,

31-37, GWPM’s who are looking for friendship/dating/LTR? My magic 8-ball says “signs point to yes.” i know I can’t be the only lonely heart around. Besides, you’ve made worse gambles w/5 bucks! Box 716_________ LOOKING FOR A DATE? W ILL YOU DATE M E? I

have brown eyes and hair, 200 lbs. I like to do everthing a man likes to do in many ways. Box 700_____________________________

blue, med. buiid, would like to meet lady, race, looks, culture unimportant. Full-figured fine. VT Times ad, 37186-14322, piease write Box 719

jiu i (h ien o U DWF, 5 0 S , FR O M EUROPE, NS, PETITE,

attractive, independent, secure. Like the out doors, dancing, travel, dining out, good con versations. ISO fit SPM for friendship. Let’s meet. Box 726

GW M, 4 0 s, 6 ’1” , ROUGH, TU M BLE TYPE, EDU,

neat, clean, lean, spare, masc., ND, NS, tee & cut-offs style. Loves outdoors, hobbies, beer, bike, swim. Spring is here, who will join me? Box 731

H ALVO RSO NS, W ED NESDAY, 2 /2 3 . YO U : 2W F,

1BM, 4WM— kindred spirits? Search for SWIL on www. Me: SWIL dinosaur. Enjoy! Box 715

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402. LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO p .1 n JS fy p

Y o u r

h t t p ://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM

*A t. If I *s> ' w ^

ft a d

TO SUBM IT YOUR MESSAGE ON-LINE.

How to place your F R E E personal ad with Person to Person • F il l OUT THIS f o r m a n d m a il it t o : P e r s o n a l s , P.O . B o x 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , VT 0 5 4 0 2 o r f a x t o 8 0 2 .8 6 5 .1 0 1 5 . PLEAS E CIRCLE APPROPRIATE CATEGORY BELOW. YOU W ILL RECEIVE YOUR BOX # & PASSCODE b y m a il . D e a d l i n e : F r id a y s a t n o o n . . V-v • F ir s t 3 0 w o r d s a r e f r e e w it h P e r s o n t o P e r s o n , a d d i t i o n a l w o r d s a r e $ 2 e a c h e x t r a w o r d . • F r e e r e t r ie v a l 2 4 h o u r s a d a y t h r o u g h t h e p r i v a t e 8 0 0 # . ( D e t a i l s w i l l b e m a il e d t o y o u w h e n YOU PLACE y o u r a d .) IT'S SAFE, CONFIDENTIAL AN D F U N !

How to respond to a personal ad: ♦ C h o o s e y o u r f a v o r it e a d s a n d n o t e t h e ir b o x n u m b e r s .

Confidential Information

y o u r lcr ' e d i t ‘ c a r d 71

(W E N E E D T H IS TO R U N Y O U R A D )

30 WORDS fr e e !*

N a m e ____ Ad d r e s s . C i t y ______ Z ip

St a t e Phone

Pl e a s e , a v a l id a d d r e s s ,

a n d

p l e a s e

w r it e

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♦ C a l l s c o s t $1 .99 p e r m i n u t e . Y o u m u s t b e o v e r 18 y e a r s o l d . ♦ A d s in L E T T E R S O N L Y s e c t io n ( 3 - d ig i t box # ) c a n b e c o n t a c t e d o n l y t h r o u g h t h e mail . S e a l y o u r RESPONSE IN AN ENVELOPE, WRITE TH E BOX # ON TH E O UTSIDE AN D PLACE IN AN O THER ENVELOPE WITH $ 5 FOR EACH RESPONSE. ADDRESS TO : P e r s o n a l s , C/O P.O . B o x 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , VT 0 5 4 0 2 .

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CONTINUING EDUCATION

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