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| the weeklyreadon Vermont news, views andculture \ CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne ART DIRECTION Donald Eggert, Tara Vaughan-Hughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ PERSONALS Hope Corbin SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Michelle Brown, Kristi Delaplain, Eve Jarosinski, Colby Roberts, Diane Sullivan ASSOCIATE EDITOR/CALENDAR WRITER Gwenn Garland CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, John Dillon, Erik Esckilsen, Peter Freyne, Jeff Fuccillo, Anne Galloway, Paul Gibson, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Lynda Majarian, Melanie Menagh, Andrew Nemethy, Jernigan Pontiac, Ron Powers, Headier Stephenson, Molly Stevens, Shay Totten, Pip Vaughan-Hughes, David Weinstock, Margy Levine Young, Jordan YoungPHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Harry Bliss, Gary Causer, Paula Myrick, Sarah Ryan, Sean Sims WEB MASTER Donald Eggert DIRECTOR, SEVEN DAYS DESIGN Tara Vaughan-Hughes

Contents €a

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SEVEN DAYS

is published by Da Gap'd , Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free of charge in greater Burlington, Middleburv, Montpelier, Stowe, the Mad River Valley, Rutland, St. Albans and Plattsburgh. Circulation: 25,000. S ix -m o n th First C lass su b scriptions are available for $40. O neyear First Class subscrip tions are available for $80. S ix -m o n th T h ird Class subscriptions are available for $20. O ne-y ear T h ird Class subscrip tions are available for $40. Please call 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to “Subscriptions” at the address below. For Classifieds/Personals or display advertising please call the number below. SEVEN DAYS shall not be held liable to any advertiser for any loss that results from the incorrect publi cation of its advertisement. If a mistake is ours, and the advertising purpose has been rendered valueless, SEVEN DAYS may cancel the charges for the advertise ment, or a portion thereof as deemed reasonable by the publisher.

S E V E N D A Y S is p rin te d at B .D . P re ss in G e o rg ia , VT. SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 11 64 , 2 5 5 S. Champlain St., Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 Tel: 8 0 2 .8 6 4 .5 6 8 4

The Good Earth

More farmers are getting off the chemical bandwagon and going organic

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w eekly m ail

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in sid e tra c k

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n ew s q u i r k s ......................................................................

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c ra n k call

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By Shay Totten .............................................................page 8

Homing Instinct

Contractor crisis? A program for aspiring home builders teaches constructive communication

tro u b le to w n

By Pamela Polston.............................................................. page12

c la s s if ie d s

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The Wetlands Spot

sto ry m i n u t e ......................................................................

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A vernal pooi-side look at the sex in the swamp

c a r t a l k ...............................................................................

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By Ruth Horowitz........... ............................................... page 16

red m e a t ............................................................................

page 5 4

A Touch of Glass

life in hell

page 5 4

The stained stuff helps homeowners lighten up

s tr a ig h t d o p e

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c ro ssw o rd p u z z l e ............................................................

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fre e will a s t r o l o g y ..................................

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By Flip Brown ............ ..................................................page 23

iola th e love c o u n s e l o r ................................................

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Skeleton Key

p e r s o n a l s ............................................................................•

By Linda Wiggin ........................................................... page 20

Up on the Farm Organic matters to the funky farmers at Arcana

Fax: 8 0 2 .8 6 5 .1 0 1 5 . e-mail: sevenday@together.net http://www.sevendaysvt.com

7. . .

q u e s tio n

Art review: ",Sacred Buffalo, " carved in Lakota Sioux tradition by James Durham By Marc Awodey ........................................................... page 39

d y k e s to w a tc h o u t f o r .........................

The Big Picture

Listings

Book review: Hands on the Land: A History of the Vermont

clubs

Landscape, by Jan Albers By Pip V au g h an -H u g h es.......................................................page 4 2

Montreal: Rue the Day — and Night N e g o tia tin g th e n ig h ts p o ts on th e u p p er e n d o f S t-L au ren t

Otaris

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What is the breeze whispering? Sweet nothings in my — Diana Doll Owner, Stray Cat Farm Flowers Burlington Get off your arse and do it. — Tara Hedenberg Make-Up Artist, Top Notch Spa Stowe Breathe! — Kate Asch Farmer, Arcana Jericho

LOOK IN T O OW N HEARTS I hardly know what to say about the “civil union” debate. Most days it was too painful to read the letters in the paper. I am astonished at the ignorance, fear and meanness that some of my fellow Vermonters have expressed against gay people. I am deeply appreciative of those who have expressed not only tolerance, but deep compassion for the gays they know and love, and those they don’t know and choose to defend. So many people have used dif ferent pieces of the Old and New Testaments as weapons. And I keep thinking that of all things on Earth that I know to be true, whether one believes every little word in the Bible or not, the words of the Bible must not be used as weapons. I thought the whole point of the Bible, of religion, was compassion. Wasn’t Jesus the one who stood up for the downtrodden, the oppressed, the despised? ... I have always thought that the message of the Bible was ultimately pretty simple. We humans are extremely fallible, extremely prone to ill-will and false judgment. We were supposed to leave the judging to God. That’s His job. Only He knows what is in each and every heart. If you think that gay folks are evil or sick or unnatural, I think you’re wrong, but you can believe whatever you want. But while you’re busy judging and despising and condemning, please try to remember ... that [these are*] the things the stone-throwers were doing. And Jesus asked the stonethrowers simply to look into their own hearts and see which one of them was completely without sin. Then, and only then, could a stone be thrown.

Are you all so sure that you are so perfectly spiritually evolved that you should be usurping God’s judgment and throwing stones at the humans He loves and forgives just as much as He loves and forgives you? — Elisa Winter Vergennes

text. If not, my advice is: Never underestimate the collective taste of an audience or potential audience. It’s a shame that such a narrow, prejudiced view of jazz dictates what is heard on VPR. — Bill Barton Burlington

JAZZ NOTES Area jazz fans certainly have plenty of food for thought after reading the April 19 Seven Days. The hills alive with the music of Joseph Jarman and Don Moye in “Question,” fine articles on jazz radio and Lou Kannenstine’s Boxholder Records, and even a per ceptive review of Raphe Malik’s new CD. Encore! “Jazz is the feel of a smoky, after-midnight club; smooth jazz is what happens when your insurance agent puts you on hold.” Amen! Ruth Horowitz summed it all up with that line [“Miles to G o ...”]. Some comments and minor correc tions follow. Pete Gershon’s “Signal to Noise Radio” on WRUV has actually been heard since February 1999. And “Jazz Spectrum” on WNCS has been on the air considerably longer than a decade; I originated the name and the Sunday-night time slot in June 1977 when WNCS first went on the air, long before it was The Point, and long before Lou D ’Antonio moved to Vermont. The show’s name was carefully chosen to reflect my commitment to present ing the full breadth of the music’s history, and it has always puzzled me why they keep using it, as there are certainly fewer colors in the spectrum nowadays. One hopes that Neal Charnoff’s ill-advised comments regarding Coltrane were quoted out of con

STEINEM CANCELLATION REGRETTABLE People who know Trinity College know that we value diversi ty and debate on all issues. We and the 139 other undersigned mem bers of the Trinity community — faculty, administrators, staff and students — therefore wish to respond publicly to the decision to cancel Gloria Steinem’s lecture [Inside Track, March 22]. We respect the leaders who made this difficult decision. We also believe that the decision itself does not accurately reflect what we value or who we perceive we are as a col lege. In fact, we believe this action runs counter to our mission, which clearly defines Trinity as: “...a Catholic, liberal arts col lege that... dedicates itself to edu cating and empowering women; encourages all students — women and men, traditional and nontraditional — to lead in building healthy communities and to promote social justice; prepares students to partici pate fully in a diverse and global society... through challenging pro grams... grounded in the liberal arts; and engages its community through frequent public events...” (Trinity College catalogue 19992000) We do not all agree with Steinem’s point of view on all issues. It is our general consensus, however, that she is one of the most influen tial women of the late 20th century

whose life’s work has been dedicat ed to empowering women. The opportunity to hear what she has to say, whether or not we concur with her ideas — and, indeed, especially if we oppose them — is of enor mous educational value to our stu dents and to this community. To deny this opportunity and effectively silence a provocative voice is not in keeping with our identity as a liberal arts college. A liberal arts education requires the freedom to identify, question, care fully investigate and critically evalu ate ideas. Implicit in this definition is the imperative of taking risks — of tackling popular and unpopular beliefs with equal skepticism. The freedom to take risks and to dis agree is essential to our mission — to building healthy communities, promoting social justice, embracing diversity and preparing us to lead and ultimately transform society. All who care about Trinity’s future should know that this issue has sparked a thoughtful and ener gizing debate on our campus. We recognize this discussion of differing views as a sign of a healthy academ ic community and choose to see it strengthening our deeply held val ues. Trinity will continue to evolve — and flourish — as we follow our own best teachings. — Kelly Thomas, Linda Rodd, Sarah Heath, Jeff Haig, Pam Greene et al. Trinity College Burlington Le tte rs P o lic y : SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 2 5 0 words or le ss. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in SEVEN DAYS. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1 164, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 -1 0 1 5 e-mail: sevenday@together.net

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Flanagan’s Shaky Start Somebody please sign Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Ed Flanagan up for “Fire in the Belly” classes pronto. The incumbent state auditor didn’t even give the best speech at his own campaign kick off Monday. The best speech prize goes to Peter Welch, once the rising liberal star of the Democrat Party, now a ambulance chaser-style lawyer who does those 1800-call-me-and-we’ll-sue-the-bastards television commercials. Fast Eddie wants to “return” to the U.S. Senate, where his father once worked for Sen. George Aiken, and he held a nebulous summer patronage job in his youth. Flanagan wants Jim Jeffords’ job. But first he’ll have to deal with state Sen. Jan Backus in a September primary. He’ll have to learn how to be on time — his announcement media event started almost a half-hour late. And he’ll also have to find a campaign staff that lasts more than a couple months. Mr. Flanagan’s second cam paign manager quit last week. Fast Eddie told Seven D ays]e$ Stein just wasn’t working out. He said he “preferred someone who knew Vermont.” Mr. Stein, reached back home in New Jersey, told Seven Days Tuesday, “Ed and I had personal differences about the way the cam paign should be run and decided BY PETE to go our separate ways.” Stein has landed on his feet, working on the reelection campaign of Rep. Mike Forbes in New York’s 1st Congressional District. Sources close to the campaign say Flanagan’s campaign work ethic leaves something to be desired, and there have been other departures besides Stein. The new campaign manager is Liam Goldrick, who until Monday worked for Flanagan ill the auditors officeYT- ' a ............... .. V Besides Welch, Flanagan picked up the endorse ment of Judy Murphy, the state coordinator for the National Organization for Women. Six years ago, Murphy caused a stir when she endorsed Jeffords over Backus. This time it’s Flanagan over Backus. Maybe she just likes boys. “I don’t know why she doesn’t want to support a woman candidate,” said Backus. Jan of Arc was “The Little Engine That Could” six years ago. W hat she lacks in money she makes up for with message and soft-spoken tenacity. Meanwhile, according to his federal financial disclosure forms, Flanagan owns several fashionable real estate properties in Washington, D.C., and the Big Apple. The most impressive is a multi-million dollar Greenwich Village townhouse that generates rent between $100,000 and $1 million annually. Not bad, Fast Eddie! Mr. Flanagan also said he will continue to draw his full $85,000 state auditor salary while campaigning for the U.S. Senate. Cool. Civil Union Epilogue — Gov. Howard Dean’s decision to sign the new civil-unions bill into law “in the closet,” as Republican gubernatorial chal lenger Ruth Dwyer put it, did not get favorable reviews from either side of the debate. Ho-Ho signed it as quickly as legally possible, surrounded only by members of his personal staff. No cameras. Not even the folks who wrote the law, and took all the heat, were invited into the Dean bunker last Wednesday afternoon around 1:30 p.m. And the subsequent “last-minute” press confer ence at 2 p.m. appeared calculated to “just do it and get it over with fast” like a doctor administer ing an injection into the soft tissue of a child’s bum. It 11 only hurt for a second. But what was the big rush, pray tell? The Guv already had his weekly press conference on the schedule for Thursday. And the press that was informed got less than an hour’s notice. You 11 never get to see Dean’s post civil-unionssigning press conference in its entirety because Press Secretary Sue Allen chose not to notify either Ch. 17 or Vermont Public Television. Both regularly

cover and broadcast Dean’s weekly press confabs in their entirety. Hey, open government and all. ’Tis a wonderful thing. And Ms. Allen also neglected to alert Barbara Dozetos, the editor of Vermont’s distinguished gay publication, Out In The Mountains. You’d think she might have qualified for a seat at the table on this momentous occasion. The fact is, both Dozetos and Jess W ilson of Ch. 17, the government access channel in the Burlington area, had told Allen the day before when the House concurred with the Senate that they wished to cover the bill signing. Ms. Allen told Seven Days Tuesday that the press confer ence “was called at the very last minute.” Sweet Sue said she was aware of Ms. Dozetos’ interest ir the bill signing. “I’m sorry she wasn’t notified,” said Allen. “I personally apologized on her voice mail.” So touching — a personal voice-mail apology from the Guv’s royal spokesperson. As for VPT and Ch. 17, Ms. Allen said she didn’t think they could pack up and be in Montpeculiar on such short notice. She did notify the three TV network affiliates, the Associated Press, The Burlington Free Press, the Rutland Herald and Statehouse radio veteran Bob Kinzel. “We went out of our way to get everybody we could possibly R FREYN E get there. If we left people off, too bad,” said Snippy Susie, dropping her customary sweetness. “It’s ludicrous,” she said, “to suggest we tried to limit” media cover age. As for Ms. Dwyer’s characterization that the landmark legislation was signed “in a closet,” Ms. Allen spat, “That is offensive! The phrasing is offen sive. Does she not know,” Allen asked, “what that phrasing represents?” All “in the closet” represents is its face-value meaning of concealment. Not even one pool photo journalist was allowed into the Guv’s closet, sorry, office that afternoon to record the historic moment. Even little Elian had one photographer in his closet. Folks from across the entire bandwidth of the Vermont political spectrum remarked Ho-Ho had signed the civil-unions bill “in the closet.” Hey, the shoe fits. Allen said her boss “made the speech of his life” at the post closet-signing press conference. Ho-Ho argued he had been absolutely, positively “consis tent” in his position from his first public statement, made just one hour after the Vermont Supreme Court decision was released in December, up until the present. Yeah, right. Consistently “uncomfortable.” “I think you’re selling him short,” said the press secretary formerly known as Sweet Sue. “On December 21, he supported domestic partners,” said Allen. And he’s “stayed the course” since, she said, from senior centers to Rotary Clubs. “He was uncomfortable with gay marriage,” said Ms. Allen, “but he was never uncomfortable with civil rights.” Editorial Pages — Laudatory newspaper editorials backing the new civil unions bill continue to appear. Both the Chicago Tribune and The Detroit Free Press have weighed in a second time in support of the Vermont Legislature’s tack on handling samesex marriage. But you can give up waiting any longer to hear from The Burlington Free Press on the civil-unions law. Freeps Executive Editor Mickey H irten (who just won his second President’s Ring from Gannett — congratulations!) told Seven Days the paper’s position was laid out way back on December 21 when it editorially supported the Vermont Supreme Court decision. He said the paper opposed gay “marriage,” but “absolutely endorsed” the awarding of equal rights to same-sex couples. The paper never took a clear

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Taking a Walk

Mensa Reject of the Year (So Far) * W hen Dwayne Rice, 39, heard noises outside his Philadelphia hotel room, he became frightened and decided the best way to get help was to set off the smoke alarm. He lit a paper bag and held it beneath the alarm but accidentally dropped the burning bag on the bed, set ting it on fire. He tried to put out the flames by turning over the mattress, but that only made the fire bigger. Rice tried to escape the burning room by kick ing out a window, but he lost his balance and fell 30 feet, fractur ing his ankle and knee. The Philadelphia Inquirer reported the blaze spread to adjoining rooms and took 75 firefighters and 22 pieces of equipment an hour to bring under control.

Second String Three H onduran men were caught robbing the home of Supreme Court Judge Hernan Silva after a neighbor called the police. One was shot and wound ed and the other two escaped, leaving behind a vehicle full of stolen appliances. Three police officers were assigned to guard the home after the incident, but they decided to break into the house and take things the first thieves had left behind. They were foiled when the same neigh bor saw them and again called the authorities.

The Lawton, Oklahoma, Evening Optimist Soccer Association booted Ryan Taylor, a nine-year-old with cerebral palsy, after deciding his four-wheeled metal walker posed a safety risk. “We’re not picking on the kid,” David Dalton, the peewee leagues volunteer president, said. “It’s just the walker.” A month later, a federal judge overturned the ban and ruled the league had to let Ryan play, with his walker.

riencing reception problems that cause him to step outside for a moment. He never comes back to pay the bill. In another ruse, a bar patron claims he can’t hear his caller because of the noisy crowd, so he ducks into the coat closet for quiet. While pretending to continue his conversation, he rifles coat pockets for valuables. • Andrea Willingham, 35, lost her job as a 911 dispatcher in Delray Beach, Florida, because she reportedly ignored emergen-

Police found the car in two hours, then learned that Amos has no daughter. He explained he had lied to police so they would work extra hard to find the car.

Perfect Solution W hen Karen Frogley, a trau ma therapist in Wellington, New Zealand, complained that screams from bungee jumpers outside the office building where she works were upsetting her patients, the thrill seekers began

Every Man’s Fantasy A Japanese district court overturned a school board deci sion barring a 30-year-old transsexual who graduated from high school in 1987 as a man from re-enrolling after being diagnosed as “very close to a woman biologically,” Kyodo news agency reported. “I want to start my life over as a female high school student,” the transsexual said after the court’s ruling.

nEWs QuiRkS

Phone Follies Airman Raymone Sydnor was patrolling the flight line at Eglin Air Force Base, Florida, when he dropped his cell phone. While fumbling to retrieve it, he crashed his patrol car into a parked F-15 jet fighter, causing $62,000 in damage. • Cell phones have become popu lar with scam artists in Japan. One tactic involves a customer at a restaurant finishing an expen sive meal, then pretending to get a call on his cell phone and expe

BY ROLAND SWEET

cies while making lengthy per sonal calls. Noting that Willingham had been suspended five times, reprimanded or coun seled nine times and investigated 21 times in nearly nine years on the job, authorities noted she did interrupt a 48-minute personal call to send paramedics to a man who was in shock after severing his finger, but then she went back to her conversation instead of staying on the line as required to give the victim medical advice until the paramedics arrived.

Getting Results Michael Amos, 30, reported to police in Little Rock, Arkansas, that his young daugh ter was sleeping in the back seat of his car when it was stolen.

wearing special masks to muffle the sound of their screams.

had gone to the local police sta tion to let them know. The police said ‘no problem.’” The night of the incident, however, a neighbor reported terrorist activity at the community center, prompting the raid. The police agreed to pay the victims $88,620 in damages.

Mrs. Doubtfire After the wife of Joshua Marete Mutuma, 32, obtained a restraining order against him in Modesto, California, Mutuma went to the courthouse dressed as a woman with a long black wig and speaking in falsetto, pretend ing to be Mrs. Mutuma and attempting to have the order overturned. The clerk became suspicious after noticing Mutuma’s five o-clock shadow.

Congressional Impunity

Curtains Up Eleven Kurdish refugees at a London community center were rehearsing a Harold Pinter play about state oppression when 50 or 60 police sharpshooters sur rounded the building, smashed down the doors and arrested them. Their attorney, Sadiq Khan, said the men were ques tioned for 472 hours and prevent ed from communicating in Kurdish “in scenes reminiscent of the play which they were per forming.” A week before the rehearsal, Khan said, the group “had hired some plastic weapons from the National Theater. They

U.S. Rep. James Moran (DVa.) accused an eight-year-old boy of demanding the keys to his 1999 Toyota Avalon outside an Alexandria, Virginia, community recreation center and threatening to shoot him if he refused. Moran, 54, an ex-boxer, said that after the 4-foot-7, 85-pound sec ond-grader repeated the threat, he restrained the boy and turned him over to recreation center authorities. The boy did not have a gun. The boy’s parents said their son made no threat but was merely admiring the car, and accused the congressman of attacking the boy and cursing at him. ®

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Waiting to Inhale ne o f the things I loathed most about liv ing in Las Vegas was that people smoke every where — in restaurants, supermarkets and laundro mats; in rest rooms and ele vators, where ashtrays are conveniently perched; at meetings in swanky hotel conference rooms, where leathery crones chain-smoke and down glasses o f wine over lunch. But th at’s Vegas, a place I came to consider the antithe sis o f wholesome, healthy Vermont. O r at least I used to think so. Since returning to my native state about a year ago, the stench o f sm oking has left a bad taste in my m outh — not to m ention in my hair and clothes. True, Verm ont has cham pioned the rights o f nonsmokers inside public places, but all it means is that one m ust pass a phalanx o f smokers and their noxious clouds as the price o f entry — I a scenario I imagine might await one at the gates o f Hell. Take the main entrance to Fletcher Allen H ealth Care, for example, where wheelchair-ridden, tube-addled patients p uff away with what looks like their final breaths. O r the Cherry Street bus terminal, which I will continue to maniacally avoid until the City o f Burlington starts issuing gas masks. At each outdoor smoking venue, one invariably confronts the ubiquitous “butt can,” a bucket or urn filled w ith sand and the squashed remains o f M arlboros and Virginia Slims. I don’t care how m any perky petunias are plunked around these ciga rette graveyards — they’re still hideous, and stinky. G ranted, smokers feel marginalized, even persecut ed, by laws restricting their habit to designated areas. I know that nicotine, accord ing to m any experts, is the most addictive substance known to hum ankind. But we nonsmokers have lungs and feelings, too. And if my 4-foot-10-inch mother, who is too delicate to open a may onnaise jar, can quit sm oking cold turkey after 29 years, I believe anybody can. W hat I find especially distressing is the huge num ber o f young people who

smoke. It’s illegal for anyone under 18 to purchase ciga rettes, but once kids have procured their contraband, nobody cares when or where they light up. Dozens of underage smokers populate the streets o f Burlington, some who look young enough to still need babysit ters. A nd every morning, as I walk to my office on South W illiams Street, I must cross the street to avoid a bevy o f adolescents smoking outside a local middle school, only a few yards from a sign pro hibiting the activity. T he worst offenders, though, are college students who, as they traverse the rocky road to adulthood, use cigarettes as a symbolic m egaphone that loudly pro claims, “Look at me! I’m a grown-up! But it’s really not fair to

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unable to find a match in my 'Tull arib h alf bay packages available. first apartm ent, I lit a ciga rette on the stove, forgot to ^Your customized day spa package may include: turn the burner off, and melted my roommate’s per facial • yoga • massage e manicure • pedicure colator into a metallic pud personal training • tennis lesson e nutrition dle. W hen I lived in Tucson, I worked briefly as a bartender, Call 65S -0001 where the second-hand fo r more information. smoke I inhaled had me Credit cards accepted. jonesing for nicotine on my days off. But while Tucson’s balmy weather allows bars to open windows and doors, facilitating a steady stream of fresh oxygen, Vermont’s eight m onths o f winter does not. Consequently, I don’t spend much time visiting local watering holes. The stinking fumes wafting from groups o f oh-so-cool barflies are hard enough to bear, but why do so many people light up just to use the cigarette as Fire & Metal...Continuing a tradition of simple a flaming prop? W hether elegance in wedding bands, working from your design or ours in all colors of gold. they smoke it or simply hold it, the cigarette smells just as If this is your time to be married, bad, plus the dramatic geslet's get together. f turing can be dangerous. The last time I walked into Red Square, for example, an ~ intoxicated woman nearly Goldsmiths burned a hole in my new $100 jacket. 146 C herry St. D o w n to w n B urlington 862-0423 Last week I ventured to a local bar to watch a Knicks game. O f course, the place was full o f smokers. In less than an hour, my nose was stuffy, my hair stank, and the shooting pain behind my eyes was not responding to over-the-counter medica tion. I temporarily escaped the fetid atmosphere to visit the ladies’ room, only to be blame kids for lighting up. greeted by a soggy butt float A L L S T o f f i IT E M S o t l S A L E T hey are blessed with the ing in the toilet, like a vile illusion o f indestructibility, tum or someone had just and don’t know how hard it coughed up. I went home, will be to eventually quit. It resolving to have expanded is also difficult for them to cable installed. resist the clever marketing As for my own smoking ploys o f the tobacco compa saga, I don’t have an A1 nies, which have effectively Gore-type personal drama L O CAR B infiltrated the film industry that turned me against the and pay big bucks to ensure deadly tobacco leaf. I did, the most glamorous, danger however, volunteer as a • High Soy Profcin ous and appealing actors and C andy Striper in high school, ■ • only 23 So33r actresses smoke. Even I have where I had to watch over an to adm it there’s som ething old woman who dem anded a • orangesicleTlavor sexy about smoking, from a cigarette every half hour — distance, anyway. But in the Taft Farms, W illiston 8 7 8 3 7 7 7 despite the fact that she had Marbleworks, Middlebury 3 8 8 - 3 2 2 0 unlikely event that I was a tracheotomy and had to Directions www.vitesherbs.com invited on a date by screen plug the hole with her fin Adonis Johnny Depp, who gers to indulge. T hat experi was once quoted as saying he ence not only took the glam wished he had two mouths our out of smoking, but You’re cooler than a cucumber. so he could smoke more, I made me determined not to w ould reluctantly decline. grow old. I m ust confess that I am I still haven’t hit on an not w ithout sin. My personal antidote for aging, but w hen vices include coffee, shop ever I’m confronted with the ping, chocolate and a pen sallow, crenellated skin, sour chant for dating idiots. And I breath and yellowed fingers have smoked a few cigarettes o f a smoker, I feel that in this in my 30-odd years, although one regard, at least, I’m liv I hated every one. Once, ing right. ®

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— the transition to organic farming just might become agricultures saving grace. Before farmets can label their food organic, however, they must meet some basic standards for the way the food is pro duced — from what their animals are fed to what fertilizers are used on crops. In Vermont, the group farmers turn to for this certification — and for technical expertise — is the state chapter o f the Northeast Organic Farming Association (NOFA). Founded in Putney in 1971, N O FA

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has grown to include seven independent state chapters in the region. T he organiza tion’s goal is to create a sustainable agricul ture system which respects the air, soil and water. N O FA has come a long way since the old days, when it put out an irregular newsletter and offered a handful o f sum mer workshops. Now it offers a variety of ongoing programs, including agricultural education for the general public, product prom otion, technical assistance for farmers, organic certification, a revolving loan pro gram and a system of regional mentors.

A cupuncture Verm ont ...Would like to take the time to thank all who enjoyed our tastings and dinners over the past 5 months.

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Early on, N O FA focused on coopera tive marketing in New York City, an - _ apprenticeship program and establishing local farmers’ markets. It first set organic growing and production standards in . 2 1977, but, because there was little dem and for organically grown food, N O FA didn’t begin to certify farms until 1984. Since 1985, certification has been han dled by a com m ittee o f N O FA Vermont organic farmers, which rates livestock, veg etables, fruit, flowers, medicinal herbs, maple syrup, dairy producers and food processors. In 1987, Enid W onnacott joined N O FA after completing her masters research at the University o f Vermont. Her study focused on Vermont’s growing num ber of organic farmers: She interviewed them to see if there were policies or pro grams that might make their lives easier. As a result o f her research project, UVM cre ated the C enter for Sustainable Agricul ture. W onnacott was then hired to become a certification inspector for NOFA. W ithin a year, she became its director. Today, N O FA has six full-time and eight part-tim e workers and an annual budget o f $300,000. s N O FA matures, the issues it faces become more complex. Last year, the organization decided to defend its organic standards after it discovered an East Calais farmer had inadvertently spread non-organic fertilizer on her feed crop for a top-producing herd o f 12 Jerseys. The farmer, Barbara Carpenter, was told the fertilizer she bought — O rgano — was okay to use, even though it contains municipal sewage sludge, an organic no-no in Vermont. M unicipal sewage sludge is known to contain many toxic heavy m et als, such as mercury and lead, which can

persist in soils for hundreds of years and contaminate drinking water. For years, Organo has been sold regular ly to Vermont organic farms. But in 1998 the standards changed and it was banned from use — something neither the fertilizer company nor the Carpenters realized. As a result of Carpenter’s failure to adhere to the Vermont organic standards, N O FA pushed to have her milk pulled from the market until the extent of the

showed scarce contamination, but before the family can turn their cows out o f the barn, the fields must be tested. As a result o f this fracas, future organic farmers will be required to take a kind of open-book test on organic standards dur ing a one-day seminar before they can earn the stamp of approval from NOFA. W ith this, W onnacott hopes to avoid another situation like the one involving Carpenter. “T he organic industry is amazingly self

There are less altruistic reasons to go the farmers receive $21 per hundredweight for their milk, while conventional counterparts receive $9 per hundredweight.___________ contamination could be determined. T hat edict was delayed repeatedly during negoti ations between N O FA and the farmer’s attorney. W hen the media finally got wind o f the story, W onnacott believed NOFA would be viewed positively for trying to uphold the state’s organic rules. Instead, “We were bludgeoned for trying to put this small farm out of business,” she says. “It was rough.” In the end, a compromise was worked out. The Carpenters were able to sell milk, but all their feed had to be sold and replaced with the certified organic variety. The family recently sold off the last of their contaminated feed. In coming weeks, a NOFA inspector will snip a few blades of the Carpenters’ field grass to make sure there are no resid ual heavy metals. Earlier tests of the feed

regulating, and we get calls all the time from people who are concerned about a particular farmers practices,” says W onnacott. Calls come from neighbors, fellow farmers and farm-service workers — veterinarians, feed suppliers and hired hands. “Those calls say something to us, that the term organic means something to people,” W onnacott says. “There isn’t a lot of fraud.” Passions run deep when it comes to organic food. W hen the U.S. D epart m ent o f Agriculture proposed a set of national organic standards in 1998, it riled farmers from coast to coast. T he proposal would have allowed irradiated food and genetically engineered produce to be considered organic. After roughly 300,000 “com m ents” were filed, the rules were shelved.

Continued on page 10

T h is F r id a y

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7 T hen, organic farmers joined together to craft an alternative set o f rules, the American Organic Standards, which W onnacott generally likes. T he USDA adopted those standards and proposed to make them the national norm . T he com m ent period on this new set o f rules ends in mid-June. “This time around it’s not the stan dards wc have a problem with, it’s the administration o f the program ,” says W onnacott. “Some farmers feel upset that this ground-up system they developed is being taken over.” T he current proposal requires groups such as N O FA to pay the feds a fee in order to be the certifying agency, and takes control o f the standards away from farmers. As is the case with U.S. drug law, states or certifying agencies can not set stricter standards than the federal ones. M ost organic farmers are motivated by the politics o f sustainable agriculture: Their aim is to create healthier products in har mony with the environment. But there are less altruistic reasons to go the organic route — like money. Organic dairy farmers receive $21 per hundredweight for their milk, while conventional counterparts receive $9 per hundredweight. “We’ve seen some who go organic for the money, but w ithin a few years, they are often the ones who become some of our most enthusiastic members and some of the most involved,” observes W onnacott. Since 1985, the num ber o f certified organ ic farms has grown from 17 to an expected 250 this year in Vermont, she says. NOFA has more than 700 members overall in its Vermont chapter. T his growth has brought about new challenges for N O F A and its board o f

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The Good Earth C o n tin u e d fro m p a g e S directors, says Lindsey Ketchel, a m arketing specialist w ith the state Agriculture D ep artm en t’s developm ent division. Ketchel has been a N O FA board m em ber for about five years. “T he challenge w ith this phenom enal growth in such a short tim e is keeping that grassroots energy going, because that is very much part o f w ho and w hat N O FA is,” she says. Aside from certified farms, general membership in N O FA — open to anyone interested in organic and sustainable farming — has also increased, from a mere 300 members less than a decade ago to nearly 1000 m em bers today. Keeping grassroots support organizations like this strong also keeps Vermont’s farm ing economy healthy and vibrant, Ketchel argues, by not creating a lot o f top-down, patriarchal over sight. As more evidence is pub lished about the dangers o f con ventional, chemical-based farm ing, the growth in organics is likely to increase. M any pesti cides approved for use by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) were registered before extensive research linking these chemicals to cancer and other diseases had been estab lished. Now the EPA considers 60 percent o f all herbicides, 90 percent o f all fungicides and 30 percent o f all insecticides car cinogenic. Though cortsumers can be affected by eating these toxins that cling to our food, farmers are also at great risk. A National Cancer Institute study found farmers exposed to herbicides had a greater risk o f contracting can cer, by a factor o f six, than non farmers. Another study o f a Midwestern farm com m unity found significant increases in birth defects for those children conceived during heavy spray sea sons. W ith the state funding ever fewer agricultural programs, N O FA is establishing a support system near-parallel to those of U V M ’s Extension Service and the state Agriculture D epartm ent. N O FA provides technical support for farmers who w ant to transi tion from conventional to organic farming — a process which takes three years to complete. Am ong the general public,

N O FA is focusing its efforts on education — not only o f con sumers, farmers and elected offi cials, but of teachers and kids. In the last few years, the organiza tion has successfully pushed for schools to purchase food from local farmers rather than large distributors. M any of the people who buy food for schools find it easier to pick up the phone and call a dis tributor for processed foods because locally grown food is sea sonal and doesn’t come washed or peeled. Furthermore, farmers often cannot match the prices offered by food-service compa nies. N O FA would like to see the state enact tax breaks for farmers so they can afford to sell to local schools. “T he bottom line is, what our kids are eating is crap,” says W onnacott. “You can’t have pro grams which encourage kids to learn about the importance of agriculture, and then have them go and eat Tater Tots.” To help make the link between the barn and the class room, N O FA last year produced the Farm to School Directory, a guide to farms in Vermont that open up their barns to students and teachers. In conjunction with Food Works — which develops food curricula — and Shelburne Farms, N O FA developed Food Education Every Day, a food and farm curriculum project, which they hope can be replicated at schools statewide. N O FA is also tackling some o f the bread-and-butter issues of the social-service sector, too. Under its FarmShare program, the organization subsidizes shares in C om m unity Supported Agriculture farms throughout Vermont. This program began in 1995 with 10 families and three farms. Last year, more than 330 people from 47 families at 12 farms were involved. This year, 14 farms are signed up so far, and N O FA continues to raise money to help subsidize shares — about $10,000 a year. T he program also helps to counter the widely held notion that organic food is only for the rich. W hat N O FA reaps in the future will be largely based on what it sows today. As consumer awareness o f the benefits of organic food increases and farm ers transition to meet this demand, the organization may soon find itself far from the fringe it occupied in 1971 on a sunny Putney hillside. ®

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U I didn’t think it would look like that!” T hat single sen tence sums up the problem many home-owners have with their architect, their contractor and — not least — their own limitations in the process of building a house. Owners o f cus tom -built homes ought to get what they w ant in a purchase that means a major investment. But do they know what they want? And, equally im portant, do they know where and how to get it? No, says Amy Johnston, not usually. T h at’s why the Burlington construction manager has launched a new business, Dreamhouse Institute, that offers seminars for aspiring home builders or renovators — a sort o f crash course in how to “be an active participant in your own construction budget.” T he name o f her seminar, “Avoiding the M oney Pit,” hints at the inevitable result o f being an uninform ed and unprepared partner in the building o f one’s home. And her apt tag line, “Because some dreams take a lit tle planning,” gently suggests that owners, no matter how intelligent or creative, may not know w hat the heck they’re doing on a construction site. Owners may have the follow ing problems, am ong others: 1. Naivete about the building process — “They simply do not

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have any concept o f w hat they need to know before it’s too late,” says Johnston. “People think because they’ve lived in houses all their lives, because there are programs on T V that make it look easy, because they have other good skills . . . it’s all transferable.” 2. An inability to visualize. Some people just can’t extrapo late from paint chips to walls, for example, or imagine how the flow o f traffic, or furniture place ment, in a room will be affected by where the fireplace is built. T h at’s why architects build little 3-D models. 3. Poor com m unication skills. This includes not being clear about w hat they w ant, or not deciding until the last m inute — say, choosing countertops im pul sively when the guy shows up to put them in — making assump tions and not reading the details o f a contract. Worse, o f course, is not having a contract that spells out in advance every detail o f the building process and how much it will cost. 4. Trusting the contractor too much — that is, leaving im por tant decisions to someone whose job is to get the work done, not to second-guess the owners’ tastes, and budget. In short, when it comes to building or renovating a house, lay-person owners often put on rose-tinted glasses — and end up blaming the contractor for their

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poor vision. According to Better Business Bureau data from 1998, contractors are the second-m ost com plained-about professionals, after auto salesmen. W hile owners m ust accept some culpability in unhappy o u t comes, its also true that not ail contractors are created equal. Choosing the right one is critical to a successful building experi ence. In her seminar, Johnston

construction projects. “M ost sig nificant is to pick someone you feel com fortable w ith,” he says. D uncan also advises looking at work the professional has done w ith others, and talking to the owners about their experience. But while it’s essential that owners and contractors get along and com m unicate well, the con tractor is not your best friend, Johnston emphasizes. “Too many

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“ B u ild in g a house to g e th e r is lik e tr a v e lin g to g e th e r. You re a lly d o n ’t k n o w a p e rso n u n til you do th a t to g e th e r.” — A m y J o h n s to n explains w hat to look for in both architects and contractors, how to check their work history and references. “If you w ant to be very involved in the project,” she says, “you should find a contrac tor and architect willing to work with you, to slow down and explain everything.” “There is certainly a process in selecting an architect or a builder,” agrees Burlington archi tect Bob D uncan, w ith whom Johnston has worked on previous

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Homing Instinct C o n tin u e d from p a g e 1 3 nice guy.’ A good project ends with all parties invited to the house warming and willing to work together again.” Duncan offers this as a classic “bad” project: A builder was under contract to build a house that would allow the owners to eventually expand into the attic — or so they thought. Yet the contract specified that joists be built only to support the ceiling, not another room. jThe owners did not read the contract — and didn’t learn the bad news until years later, when they were ready to finish off that attic. “I don’t necessarily blame the contrac tor,” says Duncan. “It was a miscom m unication.” my Johnston is a natural home building consultant. You might say she was born into it. Though her father was an executive at a pharmaceu tical company, he was enlisted into a lifelong pastime by his wife, who loved to build and renovate for the fun of it — her parents renovated houses during the Depression. Consequently, Johnston and her three brothers were involved in construction projects “from the time we were tiny,” she says. In the process, the whole family became collec tors and scavengers — the num ber of antiques in Johnston’s Burlington home stand as evi dence. Johnston got a degree at the University o f Vermont in agricul tural economics, but she soon returned to building as a con struction manager, representing owners and coordinating proj ects. In addition to private resi dential and commercial jobs, she’s worked with H U D and local nonprofits for the past 15 years. In all, Johnston has super vised some 600 construction projects. T h at’s a lot of sawdust — and a lot o f experience with the Bermuda triangle o f owners, architects and contractors. “At parties people would ask me what I do,” Johnston says, and then they “would start pour ing out their horror stories. So many people fail miserably at this endeavor,” Johnston says of home building. “I believed there was a market for this, and that I had a calling for it.” Johnston worked up a one-day curriculum for owners and test-drove it sev eral times over the past few years — once for owners and contrac tors together. Next m onth at Shelburne Farms, she’ll offer the two-day intensive, “Avoiding the Money Pit,” for the first time. T he cur riculum includes class instruc tion and field trips to construc tion sites, and participants will walk away with piles o f hand outs. Johnston has plans to offer a five-day “learning vacation” as well. Some o f the instruction is less about the nuts and bolts of building and more about hum an nature. W hen the owners are a

couple, for example, the stresses on their own relationship while building a hom e can be enor mous. Johnston says people typi cally go into this job prepared to make about 300 decisions, when building a house from scratch involves more like 15,000 deci sions by the end. W hat two peo ple will agree on all those? Granite countertops or Formica? Hardwood floors or tiles? Blue living room or green? Clapboard or vinyl siding? And those are the easy ones. “Building a house together is like travel ing together,” warns Johnston. “You really don’t know a person until you do that together.” Further more, prob lems arise with contrac tors, sub-contractors and their crews when two owners individu ally give them differing instruc tions — which often results in expensive “change orders.” Johnston recommends that own ers come to agreement in advance, then speak with one voice to their builders. Basically, “if you are uninform ed and undecided, you are a really unat tractive owner on the other side o f the table,” she says.

And Johnston isn’t shy about offering another adm onishm ent: Treat contractors and crews well. “O n hot days you show up with lemonade; on cold days come with coffee and hot rolls,” she suggests. “Be thoughtful. Especially in this market, you need to be an attractive owner.” Chances are, builders, painters, plum bers and other

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R uth H orow itz

hy did the frog cross the road? T his time o f year, for a very sim ple reason: for the nookie, in the words o f Fred D urst. It’s spring, and the woodlands are teem ing w ith slimy, cold blooded creatures crawling out from under their leaf cover and down to the nearest pond. Like so many o f us, they’re just looking for a little love. Stand beside H inesburg’s Lake Iroquois at twilight, and you’ll hear the song that brings sugaring season to a close: peepers hawking their honey dew. O r wait for the next warm, rainy night. T hen grab your flashlight and find the nearest body o f standing water. If you’re lucky, you m ight catch a load of salamanders reveling in their brief but ohso-swinging singles scene. A m phibian love shacks pop up in a variety o f locations. Leopard frogs get laid on the beach. Redback salamanders shag in the woods. But several species o f sala manders and frogs just do it in the short lived, over-sized and all-too-often over looked puddles known as vernal pools. Vernal means “spring,” and th at’s when these pools appear, fed by snow melt and spring rain. Some sem i-perm anent pools only lose their water during droughts, but most disappear by fall. This here-todaygone-tom orrow feature makes them fishfree, and thus ideal havens for piscatory prey, including spotted salamanders, bluespotted salamanders, Jefferson salaman ders, marbled salamanders and wood frogs, as well as invertebrates like fairy shrimps, mayflies, pea clams and finger nail clams. But the ephemeral existence o f vernal pools also makes them hard to identify

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and protect. A nd as more and more land is lost to developm ent — an estimated 6$00 acres a year in Verm ont, including 200 to 300 acres o f wetlands — the "*■ species that depend on them are increas ingly at risk. I w anted to see a vernal pool for myself, so I called up Jim Andrews, one o f Verm ont’s most vociferous vernal pools advocates and a leading expert on the states reptile and am phibian population. Andrews, 45, is a native Vermonter who has spent most o f his life in M iddlebury. W ith a botanist grandfather, a grand m other who specialized in snakes, and a father who taught him to hun t, Andrews comes by his interest in natural history naturally. After studying environm ental science at the University o f Verm ont and teaching junior-high science for several years, he decided to leave the confines o f the class room for full-time field work. Today, he serves as a research associate at M iddle bury College. He chose to specialize in reptiles and am phibians because no one else seemed interested. “Lots o f people love birds,” Andrews points out. “And sportsmen are interested in game species.” But snakes and frogs and their ilk may be just too icky and apparently useless to merit much attention. Andrews hopes a soon-to-be-released statewide atlas o f rep tiles and am phibians — a com pendium that’s been five years in the m aking and is the work o f scores o f field staff and over 500 volunteers — will help right this wrong. T he naturalist spends m ost o f his time slogging around in woods and wetlands, setting traps, searching for specimens and scouting out new habitats. I caught up

w ith hirrf on Sftecgtit afternoon when he was leading a M iddlebury College biology class b n an am phibian field trip. Light hail peppered the windshield as we drove to the south end o f Snake M ountain. We

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size o f your thum b — notophthalmus virisquelched across a soggy meadow and descens, also know n as a red eft, the ado entered the woods. T hen Andrews put us lescent stage o f Sri eastern newt. Red efts to w o rk We needed to climb the • are the one am phibian you’re most likely em bankm ent to the next ridge, and, as to find in the woods. T h eir audacious col long as we were in the neighborhood, he oring makes them hard to miss, and their suggested, we might as well survey who relative tolerance for daylight, com bined else might be around. T hat m eant leaving w ith their protective, toxic skin, allows no stone unturned — or log unrolled or them to spend more tim e in the open leaf-cover covered. However, the consum than other species. mate conservationist admonished, we T he job o f the eft is to search out and were also to return to its original position colonize new breeding grounds. T hey may anything we disturbed. remain adolescents for two to eight years, Up close and personal, the forest floor during which tim e their spunky orange revealed punky, moss-covered stumps, coloring fades to a more respectable ghostly white stems breaking through the green. T he eft we found had long, narrow black earth, dark worms squirm ing out of sight and two species of am phibian. black eyes, tiny black freckles on its sides and four bold orange spots w ith black Between a pair o f fallen birches, students outlines running down its back. It found a handful o f plethodon cinereus, or stepped so lightly across the backs of our redback salamanders — little, red, ques hands that if we’d closed our eyes, we tion-mark-shaped critters with black rac ing stripes and big, black button eyes. A w ouldn’t have known it was there. couple redbacks were missing chunks of We returned the specimens to where their tails — “victims o f perdition,” we found them and hiked over the ridge. Andrews remarked. Andrews’ “drift fence,” a long, low ribbon o f silver foil, ran along the foot of this Unlike every other am phibian in the state, redbacks don’t depend on ponds to next hill, blocking the w ooded uplands reproduce. These creatures lay their eggs from the red maple swamp in the hollow. in rotten logs and under leaves, and their Andrews installed this fence several years offspring go through the larval stage ago as part o f the netw ork o f sites from inside the eggs, “then pop out looking w hich he conducts his am phibian census. like adults,” our guide explained. T he Coffee cans buried in the ground and specimens we’d found ranged from less topped w ith funnels catch creatures as than pinky length to as long as an index they travel downhill in the spring to finger. How can you tell how old they breed, and when they return in the fall to are? By clipping their toes and counting over-winter in the woods. O n nights the concentric rings inside, Andrews when rain is expected, Andrews takes the explained. Unlike yours and mine, he lids off the funnels. O therw ise, he keeps added, redbacks’ toes regenerate w ithin a the traps closed to avoid unnecessarily year or two. drow ning too many small mammals. O n The second species to turn up on this hillside was a bright orange dragon the Continued on page 18

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T h e W e tla n d s S p o t Continued from page 17 a good night, he says, this site can yield as many as 100 differ ent specimens representing six or seven different species. This day, when he reached into the cold w ater that filled the cans, he came up empty. But his hand emerged coated with the same black, poppy-seed specks that darkened the surface o f the water: colembulins, better known as springtails or snow fleas — tiny insects that provide hearty chow for am phibians and give the forest floor its distinctive, musty scent. We crossed the swamp on teetering, moss-slick logs. Andrews had traps here as well — wire mesh barrels tossed into the shallow water and tethered to trees w ith green nylon ropes. O ne trap contained a black sala mander that had been severed in thirds, the milky tendrils o f its insides hanging down like curled streamers. A nother trap held a single transitional newt, half orange, half green. T he new t’s flat tail and the black claspers near its hind legs identified it as a boy. In June, when newts do the nasty, Andrews told us, the male wraps his legs around the females neck and waves his tail in her face, wafting her w ith the enticing arom a o f his phero

mones. If he gets lucky, the move puts her in the mood for love. In fact, once we knew what to look for, we could see the sloppy remains o f am phibian sex all over this swamp. Near the base o f a branchless snag, pearly, cream-colored pyramids clung to the leafy debris under the water: black salamander spermatozoa. If we’d come here at night, Andrews said, we might have seen 20 or 30 salamanders gath ered in a congress, each male hoping to catch the eye of some hot babe and lure her off for a secluded salamander tryst.

he variety o f am phibian eroticism puts the Kama Sutra to shame. As we gazed at the scum m y swamp, Andrews regaled us w ith the tale o f the guy two-line salamander, who uses his teeth to inject pherom ones into the gal twoline’s back: instant am phibian aphrodisiac. H e also told us about the froggy who goes acourtin’ and seeks to impress with the vigor o f his voice. T hough the maxim “big song, big schlong” may not be exactly apt when sex is strictly an outof-body experience, smaller frogs still feel compelled to make up for their diminutiveness. To do this, they hang around the big brutes. W hen a lady comes h ith er, er, slither, the shrim py guy jum ps up and grab her. Then, when she deposits her eggs near

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the hunk w ith the heavenly song, the wimp quickly ejacu lates into the mix. Species that can’t get no satis faction outside vernal pools need to breed efficiently — or “explo sively,” as Andrews put it. Loving com m itm ents need to develop, insem ination must occur, eggs have to ripen and hatch, and offspring must mature and head for the hills, all before the pond disappears. To witness this phenom enon for ourselves, we climbed the steep slope to a small, sem i-perm anent pool that’s held by a rocky bench on the m ountain’s flank and pro vides a crucial lovers’ lane for Jefferson, spotted and four-toed salamanders. Earlier in the season, during the first warm rains in March or April, we could have seen some of these guys making their way over the snow to reach the pond and form a congress, Andrews told us. During prime mating season, a single trap at this site can yield over 100 salamanders in a day. But that m om ent had passed. W hen we reached the pond, it revealed little more than silver circles of rain rippling its still sur face, half a dozen newts in a trap, and two gelatinous egg masses wobbling under the water. A student scooped up an egg mass and held it out for our inspection. Black spots were sus pended in the clear jelly, a few of them covered with white fuzz.

Dead eggs, Andrews explained, some o f them starting to mold. But then the same student pulled out a more prom ising prize: a palm-sized lum p o f aspic shot through w ith little, black, com m a-shaped newt larvae that squirm ed when we nudged the blob. M ost am phibians spend their whole lives w ithin a few hundred meters o f the pond in which they’re born. Because a single site serves as a breeding ground for about a square kilom eter of woodlands, filling a vernal pond, clear-cutting the habitat that borders it or cutting the pond off from the surrounding envi ronm ent can wipe out the entire am phibian population for a wide area. Though vernal pools are protected under V erm ont’s General Permit and Act 250 laws, smaller bodies o f water sit uated outside classified wetlands often slip through the regulatory cracks, especially when they’re dry. New guidelines are now being drafted to help protect the habitats o f those species that can’t live w ithout vernal pools. Environmentalists also hope to see a statewide, town-by-town vernal pools inventory, and local zoning laws am ended to preserve these natural niches. W ithout these measures, they fear, lonely am phibians might start looking for love in all the wrong places — and end up as scarce as snow melt in August. ©

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THE WINNING STORY w ill be th e cover f e a t u r e in th e Seven Days Summer F ic tio n Is s u e J u n e 28, 2000, a n d w i l l re c e iv e a ca sh p r iz e o f $250. 1 s t an d 2nd ru n n e rs -u p w i l l be acknow ledged in th e is s u e , an d p u b lis h e d i f space a llo w s.

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"Emerging Writers" are defined as anyone 18 or older who has pub lished no more than three pieces of fiction in a newspaper, magazine or literary journal, and has published no books. Entrants must be Vermont residents, or attending school in Vermont at the time of this competition. "Short Fiction" in this competition is defined as a short story, or an excerpt from a larger work if it stands on its own as a story. The

length should not exceed 4 0 0 0 words. All entrants will be judged anony mously by members of the Seven Days staff and an esteemed panel of Vermont writers. Manuscripts should be typed and double-spaced. Please include a cover page with your name, address and phone number. Do not put your name on the other pages. Stories chosen as winners will need to be received in electronic form or on

6. 7.

disc as well. Manuscripts will not be returned. Do not send originals. One entry per writer. Employees of Seven Days and the UVM Continuing Ed department, and family members thereof, as well as family members of the judges, are disqualified from entering this competition.

The

UNIVERSITY ofVERMONT CONTINUING EDUCATION

may 3, 2000

SEVEN DAYS

page 19

PHOTO: MATTHEW THORSEN

A Touch of Glass The stained stuff lets homeowners lighten up Satava Art Glass. Some of the pieces are contemporary in design, some more remi niscent of the old glass masters like Comfort Tiffany. Lamps made of droop ing lilies adorn the corners of his shop; jewelry boxes and candle holders with inlaid colored glass invite you to stow your own treasures there. The cobalt, burnt umber, emerald green and deep rose tints evoke the medieval spirit of Notre Dame. But Friedman is about more than lamps and candle holders. “My specialty is custom lighting and design for custom homes,” he explains, standing over one of his latest pieces — a huge, free-standing glass and metal sculpture of a dragonfly he did in collaboration with local metal artist Dick Foster. “I do a lot of installations,” Friedman says. “It’s my favorite thing,

B y L inda W iggin t was a gray day when I headed out to visit Barry Friedman and Susan BayerFishman — two accomplished stained-glass artists in Central Vermont. The rain had washed the landscape clean of all color. But there was no lack of it under the vaulted ceilings of Friedman’s studio — the Old Church in Waitsfield — where he crafts glasswork that brings every imaginable hue to homes in which he installs his art. Entering his workshop is like stepping into a flower made of light. Friedman’s retail outlet, Luminosity, also in the former church, contains many one-of-a-kind pieces — some his own, others from such well-known makers as Lundberg Studios, Zellique Art Glass and

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS A Susan Bayer-Fishman window illuminates a Stowe residence under construction.

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because I can make sure the art I bring to the home is never just an afterthought, but something that appears like it was always there. I want my work to have a timeless quality.” Friedman began as an apprentice at J & R Lamb Studios in New York City in 1974. He worked For next to nothing for an entire year, with the goal o f learning his trade from a master craftsman. “I pretty much just sailed in and told them I was going to work there,” he says with a grin. During that year, Friedman says he had “an intense spiritual experience” while work ing on the restoration of a rose window at a small chapel in Alpine, New Jersey. “I was up on the staging, right beside this round window that stood behind the church’s altar,” he said. “The day was over cast, grim. Then all at once the sun came out and lit the entire window like a flame. I felt blessed, overwhelmed. At that moment I knew this would be my life’s work.” In 1975 Friedman moved to Vermont — escaping the stress and overhead of the city — and founded Luminosity. Since then he has done more custom projects and restorations than he can count. His work is sought after by celebrities and other wellheeled patrons who want their homes to per form his particular glass magic. “I designed a window for Candace Bergen’s cottage in western Massachusetts,” he says. “She would often come in late from a plane flight in the middle of the day and be unable to sleep because of the light, so she commissioned me to make the bed room’s light more muted with a stained-glass piece.” Friedman’s local projects include art-glass lighting and numerous windows at both the Pitcher Inn in Warren and The Den in Waitsfield. His work can also be seen at the

Icehouse restaurant in Burlington -— the etched-glass mirrors behind the bar — and at Whiskers Restaurant in Stowe. The craft of glass-making has not changed much since it was developed by the Egyptians thousands of years ago. Its most dramatic examples can be seen in the great cathedrals of Europe; in medieval times, foundries were built at the site of construc tion, and the glass was produced using indigenous minerals. “Glass is colored by adding different metals to it,” Friedman explains. “Adding manganese produces violet shades. Adding cobalt produces that deep blue we’re all familiar with. And the richest shades of pink and red are achieved by adding gold.” Friedman uses an extensive variety of domestic and imported glass pieces, some times adding paint or glaze to enhance an effect. Then he puts the work together much the same as a jigsaw puzzle, with each piece numbered separately. “It’s a very labor-intensive process,” Friedman attests. “I’m glad it’s that way, because no two works ever appear the same, even if you want them to. Each piece adds something unique to the home it is placed in, and that’s what makes it so gratifying, both to me and to the client.” If you want to commission a stainedglass piece for your new — or old — house, where do you put it? Should you go for a window, a valance or a whole front door? How long does it take? And how much will it set you back? Friedman answers the last question first. “It ain’t cheap,” he concedes. “Clients need to know how much effort is involved. Designing a stained-glass piece takes many, many steps. It’s expensive, depending on the scope of the project and the time involved.” His projects have ranged from $300 to

$75,000. Regardless of size, Friedman says,, price tends to average $150 to $350 per square foot for a residential window. His lighting commissions are estimated by indi vidual quotation only. usan Bayer-Fishman is a painter and interior designer as well as a glass artist. She considers her commis sioned pieces to be works of art, “just like my canvasses,” she says. But she is also will ing to “fashion an environment based on the emotional life of the people who live in the

explains. “Some houses are geometric, some are more traditional, and this will affect the design of the piece.” Vermont’s harsh climate is not really a problem, according to Friedman. “The glass pieces I use are double-glazed like storm windows, and if they’re maintained right, they should last for upwards of 150 years,” he says. Bayer-Fishman creates glasswork for pri vate homes all over the Stowe region and beyond. One recent commission was a 16by-20-foot stained-glass skylight for a hilltop

:he s u n c a m e o u t a n d th e e n tire w in d o w lik e a fla m e . f e lt b le s s e d , o v e rw h e lm e d . A t iiK ia iiM iim i

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m y l i f e ’s w o r k .” B a rry F rie d m a IT house.” Her work is available through Shimmering Glass in Waterbury and the Stowe Craft Gallery and Design Center, both of which she owns. “People interested in a stained-glass installation shouldn’t be looking for a so-called bargain,” BayerFishman says “But at the same time, anyone should feel comfortable coming to me to discuss what they want.” Regarding the best placement for an installation, both artists like to see and “feel” the space they are putting it into. “I take into account the client’s tastes in fine art and also the architecture of the house,” Friedman

manse in the nearby mountains. “It was a wonderful project,” she says. “The owner wanted something above the upstairs walkway that was a bit whimsical and added some color to the environment.” Her response? A mix of purple and blue bal loon shapes floating serenely 70 feet above the floor. Recently Bayer-Fishman has been inte grating crushed rocks and ores into her glass works to achieve new effects. “W hen incor porated this way, the stones give the glass an

Continued on page 22

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A Touch of Glass C o n tin u e d fro m p a g e 21 unpredictable, irregular pattern that works well with some proj ects,” she says. W hen clients first commission a piece, they come with their own vision, Bayer-Fishman explains.

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house,” she says with a laugh. “And I like to keep my life very simple...and I like to just stay in Vermont.” Bayer-Fishman s large portfolio includes work she has done in private residences as well as a piece for a respite home. The latter was particularly striking, with a wave-like motif in shades of blue, green and violet.

THE LIGHT STUFF A Barry Friedman chandelier She discusses color, placement, time and budget with them, and schedules ... an on-site visit to see where the piece will be placed. The client then pays a percentage of the estimated cost, and the craftsperson does an initial draft, or rendering, of the design. After that, the piece can take from a few weeks to many months to com plete. Bayer-Fishman began doing glass work from the back of her garage years ago, when she had small children at home. Despite the sophisticated, high-end cre ations she sells now, though, she says her life has not changed that much. “My husband and I lived in a yurt for years before we had a real

“The piece was meant to have a calming effect on the patients there,” she says. “And from the feedback I got, it seemed to achieve that goal.” Friedman too spends much of his time either in the studio or at his restored Victorian home. Not surprisingly, his own glass works adorn the house, in addition to five man-made pools he has designed on the property. His wife, Kathleen Schuetz, restores fine antiques. “Doing this for a living is fan tastic,” he says. “And right now I’m doing very well.” He points to the radio behind him, softly reporting the news of the day. “Hey, the economy is good. Creating art is fun.”.®

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Friday May 5 at 7 pm join filmmaker David Giancola (director of four new features this year) and Kenneth Peck (chair of the Burlington College Film Program) for an evening of screenings and lively discussion about the history, business, and art of movie trailers (previews). You’ll see old Hollywood favorites and some neverbefore-seen trailers. This free public event precedes the weekendlong workshop, The Art o f the Trailer, May 5-7. For more informa tion, please call Burlington College Admissions at 862-9616.

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B y F lip B rown nside a lushly verdant green house, a row o f waist-high platforms stands supported by sturdy posts. O n the top o f each platform is a wood and wire cage, and in every cage lies an old waterbed mattress, full of heated water. O n top o f these in turn are dozens o f trays containing pepper, eggplant and tomato seedlings. To the uninitiated, this bizarre arrangement may sudden ly inspire thoughts like “I Know W hy the Caged Eggplant on a Waterbed Sings.” But to a sea soned gardener, the sight will

lead to an adm iring “aha!” — this is, in fact, an exceptionally clever way to solve an annual seed-starting problem. T he recy cled waterbeds provide consistent bottom heat to vegetables whose tropical origins make them reluc tant to emerge from their coats in Verm ont’s cold spring; the wire keeps out mice and other little critters who might be attracted to the warmth. This is but one of the many homegrown solutions found alongside thousands o f plants at Arcana, an organic greenhouse, garden and farmsrand on Schillhammer Road in Jericho. Arcana’s unofficial motto:

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Up in the Farm Continued from page 23 20-some in peak season — have been transforming an old dairy farm into an organic paradise for the past several years. Muellers husband, Murray Self, handles the com puter operations, accounting and brochures when he’s not attending to another business he co-owns, W aterfront Video, with stores in Burlington and Middlebury. Somehow, the couple finds time to also “grow” their two young sons. Mueller chose the name Arcana because o f her interest in some of the obscure varieties of vegetables and flowers that have been largely abandoned by cor porate agribusiness. In addition, “Arcana is an alchemists w ord,” she says. “It means ‘the mysteries o f life expressed through nature.’” Eight years ago, Mueller built her greenhouse, tilled up about a half-acre of land and trucked in to the Burlington Farmers’ M arket every Saturday with her goods. Soon a few neighbors started to help out in exchange for using a little greenhouse space for their own seedlings. Today the operation is one of the area’s largest suppliers of organic plants and produce. Arcana is open from mid-April to the end of October, but plant sales occur in a concentrated frenzy between May 1 and the middle o f June —

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Greenhouse #1, Gwyneth Slack is working on plans for wholesal ing some o f this sum m er’s output to local restaurants and stores. A table and eclectic collection of chairs in one corner o f the green house comprise the “board room ,” while a prayer stick, and magnetic poetry stuck to a water tank, contribute to its un-corpo rate feel. T he other end of Greenhouse #1 holds M ueller’s houseplant collection — around 200 specimens, including some outrageously gorgeous orchids. Mueller previously worked at G ardener’s Supply in Burlington and a num ber o f commercial greenhouses. At the latter, she was turned off by the use o f chemical fertilizers, harsh pesti cides, growth stim ulators and soil fumigants. As a result, she started Arcana “not because it was the in, cool, hippie thing to do,” but because she w anted to show that organic practices were viable. “There was such an artificial m anipulation in the other places that were conventional green houses,” Mueller notes. “I chal lenged a lot o f these beliefs after being indoctrinated in them. It’s like the chicken farms where they cram all the chickens in small cages and then have to treat them w ith antibiotics because they become sick,” she adds. “W hy not give the plant a little more space, and, instead of a sterile soil mix w ith chemicals in it, why not give it a little

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in other words, the frenzy has begun. Mueller prefers to think of herself as the “field general,” rather than the “boss.” And although Arcana is incorporated, she also likes to think o f her farm as more o f a cooperative. For a while, Mueller says o f the shared arrangement o f the farm, “Every body did everything, but then it got too chaotic.” T he next stage was to mete out responsibilities in each area. Now the “Gypsy Crew” bands together on projects that require a day or two of intensive labor. Regular meetings insure that all needs are discussed and attended to. W ith all beds and greenhouses tagged w ith a numbered identification system, the day’s orders may include weeding beds H -10 through G15, or watering the peppers in Greenhouse #4. T he rich quality of the soil that came with the farm has been a huge bonus for Arcana’s 100 different field crops — and many more varieties in each category. T he soil type is called “heartland sandy, silty loam,” with rock-free topsoil three feet deep. Given Vermont’s reputation for rocky, hardscrabble farms, dirt doesn’t get much better than this. W ith a color and texture like “chocolate cake,” the soil is a “gift from the last glacier,” Mueller says. Tests have confirmed its high fertility, which is m aintained with com post and cover crops. In the now-venerable

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com post and introduce natural insect predators for the pests?” To naysayers w ho predicted it wouldn’t work, Mueller simply answered, “Let’s try it, and be conscious about how we do it.” She advocates dealing w ith prob lems in a way that “mimics the natural environm ent.” W ith ladybugs, for example. O ne o f the m ost interesting

ed in lots o f 100,000. Once a natural balance is restored, the good bugs die off as they run out o f snacks. This is cheaper than sprays, and isn’t toxic to either the helpful insects or the work ers, M ueller notes. O ne o f Arcana’s claims to local fame is the sheer quantity of varieties it grows. Mueller’s com puter p rintout detailing the

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organic practices is the use o f “beneficial” insects. Ladybugs have a voracious appetite for aphids, a com m on greenhouse pest. A gallon bucket full o f ladybugs — approximately 70,000 o f the little aphid-m unchers — costs only about $60. If they arrive in the mail too early, they can hang out in the refrigerator for awhile. To deal with other pests, microscopic, non-stinging wasps called trichogrammas are im port

sa y s.

organic plants and farm crops scheduled for this year is 61 legal-sized pages; the total of individual cultivars is more than 2000. And as experienced gardeners know, along w ith varieties come some pretty quirky names. W ant tom ato plants? How about Black Plum, Ghost Cherry, Isis Candy, W hippersnapper, Sausage, Garden Peach, Mr. Stripey, Silvery Fir Tree, Shumway’s G erm an Johnson, Hawaiian

Pineapple, Orange Strawberry, Green Zebra, W hite Wonder, Lime Greert Salad, Purple Brandy or Schimmeig Striped Hollow? Perhaps your tastes run more towards a peck of unpickled pep pers. Arcana can set you up with Inferno, Klari Baby Cheese, Yellow M ushroom, Purple Jalapeno, Black Cluster, Bishop’s Crown, H ot Apple, Jingle Bells, Lipstick, Banana Supreme, Sugar Chile, Szeged Paprika or your choice o f the Large Red Thick Cayenne or the Long Red Slim Cayenne. Arcana’s entire output of plants and produce is certified organic by the N ortheast Organic Farming Association (see “T he Good E arth,” this issue). Thick N O FA docum enta tion records sit on M ueller’s desk, with meticulous charts out lining soil am endm ents and fer tilizers, techniques o f crop m an agement and details of harvest ing and processing. Mueller sees the public’s increasing interest in organic food — and the corre sponding concern about geneti cally modified organisms — as valuable not only to her busi ness, but to her values. “I’m never going to be a dot com on the Internet, I ’m not going to be Ben & Jerry’s,” she says. “I just w ant to keep it fresh.” She might be referring to both her produce and her approach. “I always want to be doing something new and differ ent,” Mueller adds. O ne o f those

things is a series o f workshops this sum m er w ith s well-known gardening personali ties Dick Raymond, author and T V show host, and Shep owner of T he Cook’s Garden 'A seed company. O ther forays include medicinal herbs, pottery — a kiln and studio were just built on the grounds — and pos sibly food products. After its explosive growth over the last two three years, beginning to envision the farm reaching its level. “I see us sort ■ settling in,” she says. “W hat we’d like to do is make it at least even. W ith this much labor, and such a short season, I have to think about how it’s going to out down the road.” H er original vision has been shaped over the years by the o th ers who have become involved with the farm. “We have two whole families w ho work here now, and we’re like a com m unity unto ourselves,” she notes. “T h a t’s a whole other dynam ic.” If Arcana is a grand supplier of organic plants, it seems also to be a grand experiment by Mueller and her co-conspirators — to turn consumers’ tastes from flown-in, waxy corporate produce to fresh, flavorful, seasonally available food grown nearby, per haps in your own backyard. If local organic agriculture can make a dent in how we view our food supply, we may indeed learn more about “the mysteries o f life expressed through nature.” ®

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the country and beyond, giving happy hordes a

DAWN DECKER W/DICK FORMAN & GLENDON ENGALLS (jazz), Leunig’s, 7 p.m. NC. h 2 o , s a v e t h e d a y , d a l t o n ic , IN REACH (hardcore/punk), 242 Main, 7 p.m. $10. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. RYAN OBER (alt-pop; CD release party), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. WIGGLE (DJs Patti & Tricky Pat; jungle/beat), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. MOPEN IKE (rock), Nectar’s, 9 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP NIGHT (DJs), Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK COLLEGE PARTY (DJ Robbie J; ’70s-’90sj, Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. NC/$7. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK (DJ Donald; ’70s’90s dance), Club 156, 9 p.m. NC. BLOOD & FIRE SOUND SYSTEM (Jamaican DJs Ranking Joe, Dillanger, Trinity), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $14/16. 18+ KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SALLY MACK & JACOB HIGHTER (singer-songwriters) Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2. VASSAR CLEMENTS W/GORDON

lesson in just how cool singing and writing songs really is — on stage and in the cla ss room. Full of talent, ’tude and a taste for humor, Shaber livens up the Burlington Coffeehouse this Saturday.

CHORD CHANGES when given a ukelele as a child in New Orleans, Chris Smither was told if he learned two chords he could play most of what he heard on the radio, and if he learned three he could rule the world. Happily, Smither learned a lot more than that — including how to write his own rootsy, darkly evocative songs — and switched to guitar. Now the growly voiced blues man just rules the stage. Live Art presents Smither this Thursday at the Wood Gallery.

> >

NC = NO COVER. AA = ALL AGES.

CD Release Party

STONE, DOUG PERKINS & MIKE GORDON (bluegrass/hillbilly jazz), Mead Chapel, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. Sold out. OPEN MIKE, Thirsty Turtle, 8 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Charlie O ’s, 9 p.m. NC.

TH U R SD A Y GUY COLASACCO (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. DENISE WHITTIER W/ROB GUERRINA & ED PATTON (jazz), Leunig’s, 7 p.m. NC. ALISON KRAUSS & UNION STA TION W/JERRY DOUGLAS (bluegrass), Flynn Theatre, 7:30 p.m. $25/32.50. AA OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. TRANCE FORM (DJs Wipt, RobB, B-Gun, Aqua), Club 156, 9 p.m. $2/3. IMPOSTEROUS (classic rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ FROSTEE, Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. SANDRA WRIGHT (blues diva), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. TOP 40 NIGHT (ladies’ night w/Triple X), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/7. LEAVITT, DELBACK & JUPITER (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. WEEN (alt-pop), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $20. 18+ DIVINE GUIDANCE JAZZ BAND (New Orleans style jazz), Henry’s Pub, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Backstage Pub, 9

242 Mail] WED.5.3.7PM.$10

i MUSICi An Acoustic Evening w ith

Bela Fleck & Sandip Burman ■ELTO N I I

IN REACH

with special guest Kate MacLeod

Join Live Art fo r a gala benefit concert with two o f the world’s most innovative musicians. Saturday, May 13 a t 8pm

Barre Opera House Ticket Prices $28. $23, $18, and $10

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^Special G uests — producer, Traviszxtrao nlin aire and member of

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High Noon T h e Starline Rhythm Girl ;OY PRESTON — ipger/songw riter, and founding m em ber of -p le e p at the W i e i — pedal steel guitarist

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...Jfpfch f'<^M m der Cody W h it e , J r . o f B r e a k a w a y —

on fiddle & mandolin * A n d O t h e r S u r p r is e G u e s t s ‘ And it’s also Jack O’Brien’s birthday celebration! V I N T A G E C O U N T R Y . H I L L B I LL Y BOOGIl i . R O C K A B I L L Y

BLOOD WAR GLASS JAW

THE HOPE CONSPIRACY

Tickets available at the Barre Opera House Box Office: 802-476-8188 f o r m ote info, v isit us at This Live Art fundraiser is funded in p a rt W \Y \Y . L i t E A RT Y I . O R G fyy the Vermont Arts Council and the City of on th e w o r ld -w id e w eb . Montpelier and co-sponsored b y the Point.

info .8622244

W e ll, I ’ ll be a h o r s e ’ s p a t oo t i f t h a t ’ s not t h e b i g g e s t d a r n c a l e n d a r I ’ve e ver s e e n !

p.m. N C . .' ', KARAOKE W/MATT & BON NIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DANCIN’ DEAN (country line dance & instruction), Cobbweb, 7:30 p.m. $5. SUPER SOUNDS KAROAKE, Otter Creek Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. TNT KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC. CHRIS SMITHER (singersongwriter), Live Art at T.W. Wood gallery, 7:30 p.m. $14.

FRID AY CLYDE STATS (jazz), Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC. TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES (soul/blues), Dockside, 6 p.m. NC. JOSH BROOKS (singer-song writer), Borders, 8 p.m. NC. ROCK ’N’ BOWL W/THE BAZOOKAS,FREEZERBURN, THE SUPER SPIES, RIVER CITY REBELS (punk/ska), Ethan Allen Bowling Lanes, 9 p.m. $8. UNCLE JIM & THE TWINS (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. RAP MEETS FUNK: GRIPPO, RICO & FATTIE B., Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. DJS FROSTEE, LITTLE MAR TIN, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. BLUE VELVET (blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. NC, fol lowed by TOP HAT DJ, 11 p.m. NC. ANTHEM (DJs Rob Douglas, Alan Perry, Prana, Dr. Seuss, Blend vs. Boris, Melo Grant, Butch, B-Wyse), Club 156, 9 p.m. $3/4. MR. FRENCH (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC.

weekly

FRI-2K (r&b/hip-hop; DJs Frostee & Robbie J.), . > Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/7. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. K0NK (improv jazz), Signal to Noise, 8 p.m. $5-10. RIGHT IDEA (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. JETHRO MONEY (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $ 8. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. STET HOWLAND ALLSTAR BAND (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $5. WEEN (alt-pop), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $20. 18+ KARA0KE W/MIKE DOUGLAS, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SMOKIN’ GUN (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Franny O ’s, 9 p.m. NC. WILLIE EDWARDS (acoustic blues), Bridge St. Cafe, 7:30 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. CYLINDER (rock), Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC. QUADRA (classic rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. JAMES HARVEY TRIO (jazz), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $5 with dinner. REGGAE DJ, Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. PICTURE THIS (jazz), J.P. Morgan’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS (hillbilly boogie), Charlie O ’s, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Adams Apple Cafe, 7:30 p.m. NC.

listings

SATU RD AY MELISSA DAVIS (singersongwriter), Dockside, 6 p.m. NC. SAM SHABER (singer-song writer), Burlington Coffee house, Rhombus, 8 p.m. $6. DJ LITTLE MARTIN, 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. MR. FRENCH (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. GREG DOUGLASS, KATHER INE QUINN (singer-songwrit ers), Club 156, 8 p.m. $5, followed by ZOOM (DJs Prana, Dr. Seuss), 10 p.m. $2/3. DR. DIDJ (funk), Club Metronome, 8 p.m. $7, fol lowed by RETR0N0ME (DJ; dance pop), 11 p.m. $2. LEFT EYE JUMP (jump blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.p.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DJS TIM DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK (’80s DJ), Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. NC. URBAN DJ NETWORK (DJs Spin & Irie; hip-hop/house), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/7. NORTH BOUND TRAIN (Dead covers) Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $ 8. GUY C0LASACC0 (singersongwriter), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. THE HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. BRAD MEHLDAU TRIO (jazz pianist), Higher Ground, 7 p.m. $15/17. (seated show) AA

STET HOWLAND ALLSTAR BAND (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $5. KARAOKE W/DAVE HARRI SON, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SMOKIN’ GUN (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. BACK ROADS (country; line dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O ’s, 9 p.m. NC. CYLINDER (rock), Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. LOUISE TAYLOR, RACHEL BISSEX, PATTI CASEY & DAVID GUSAKOV, W0MENSING, TANAGER (acoustic; 5th anniversary benefit), Ripton Community Coffee House, 7:30 p.m. $5/1.50. QUADRA (classic rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. JIM BRANCA & BRUNO t CH0INIERE (acoustic blues), The Boonys, 7 p.m. NC.

SU N D A Y DAYVE HUCKETT (jazz gui tar), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC. WOODCHUCKS’ REVENGE (folk trio), Borders, 3 p.m. NC. THE CROPPIES (Irish), Ri Ra, 5 p.m. NC. SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJ; trance), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $2. BL00Z0T0MY (jump blues), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. TOP HAT DJ (hip-hop), Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ ROSE (’70s-’00s), Club

continued on page 2 9

www.sevendaysvt.com

Adams Apple Cafe, Portland & Main streets, Morrisville, 888-4737. Alley Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Angela’s, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-0002. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-271 1. Bridge St. Cafe, Richmond, 434-2233. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cafe Delilah, 38 Elm St., Montpelier, 229-1019. Cambridge Coffee House, Smuggler's Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. Charlie 0's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Club 156, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 658-3994. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Daily Bread, Bridge St., Richmond, 434-3148. Diamond Jim’s Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Dockside Cafe, 209 Battery, Burlington, 864-5266. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Egress, 35 S. Main St., Hardwick, 472-5557. Finnigan’s Pub, 205 College St., Burlington, 864-8209. Franny 0's 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 223-2895. Jake’s, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. J.P. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.’s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. Leunig’s, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Live Art at the Barre Opera House, 47 6-8 1 8 8, or Wood Art Gallery, Montpelier, 883-9307. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Mad River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 4968910. Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4 969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Millennium Nightclub, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Nectar’s, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 22-9885 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Otter Creek Tavern, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin’s, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra the Irish Pub, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sha-Booms, 45 Lake St., St. Albans, 524-9014. Signal to Noise HQ, 416 Pine St. (behind Speeder & Earl’s), Burlington, 951 1140. Starksboro Community Coffee House, Village Meeting House, Rt. 116, Starksboro, 434-4254. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. Tuckaway’s, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600. UpperDeck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8626585. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288.

W W W . B l G H E A V Y W a R L D . C O M LOCAL MUSIC ONLINE! PURE POP 10P 20 • WEEKLY CO 61VEAVAYS * SEVER DAYS CLUB LISIW6S

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BRAD M EH LD A U TR IO THIS SATURDAY!

Eli: CAFE • LOUNGE • MUSIC HALL ONE MAIN ST. • WINOOSKI • INFO 654-8888 DOORS 8 P M * SHOW 9 PM unless noted ALL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE I.D. unless noted WEDNESDAY. MAY 3 • S14 ADVANCE S16 DAY OF SHOW 90.1 WRUV, FLEX RECORDS, & TOAST CONCERTS PRESENT

BLOOD & FIRE SOUND SYSTEM

FEAT. DILLANCERf TRINITY&RANKIN’jOE

THURSDAY, MAY 4 • S20 AOVANCE S20 DAY OF SHOW • 18+ FRIDAY MAY 5 • S20 ADVANCE S20 DAY OF SHOW • 21+

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BRAD MEHLDAU TRIO FEAT. LARRYGRENADIER&JORCEROSSY SUNDAY, MAY 7 • FREE! EARLY ALL AGES SHOW: DOORS 6PM 99.9 THE BUZZ & ADVANCE MUSIC PRESENT

BUS HOMEBREWHICKSCHOOL BAND SEARCH CALLMIKET. @802.863.8652FORDETAILS MONDAY, MAY 8 • S20 ADVANCE S22 DAY OF SHOW 90.1 WRUV, FLEX RECORDS, & TOAST CONCERTS PRESENT

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REVEREND HORTON HEAT A M A ZIN G CR O W N S LOS STRAITjACKETS

THURSDAY, MAY 11 • S8 AT DOOR

SOU LIVE

THE PARTY BAND FRIDAY, MAY 12 • $8 AT DOOR 901. WRUV WELCOMES A NIGHT OF PURE ROOTS

V IB E W IS E

SATURDAY, MAY 13 • SB 21+ S818+

DAVE GRIPPO FUNK BAND THURSDAY, MAY 18 • S8 ADVANCE S10 DAY OF SHOW 104.7 THE POINT & SAM ADAMS BREWING WELCOME

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IRIS DEMENT GREGORY ISAACS TUESDAY, MAY 23 • S18 ADVANCE S20 DAY OF SHOW

THURSDAY, MAY 25 • S10 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW

JULIANA HATFIELD W ID E W A IL SUNDAY, MAY 28 • $8 ADVANCE S10 DAY OF SHOW

LECENDARY PINK DOTS DEAD VO IC ES ON A IR MONDAY, MAY 29 • S18 ADVANCE S20 DAY OF SHOW

MACEO PARKER DAD

FRIDAY, JUNE 2 • S10 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW A TRIBUTE TO MARK SANDMAN

ORCHESTRAMORPHINE

WWW.HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM

LIKE A SURGEON You know, sometimes rockers just take them selves too damn seriously. And that’s what provokes people like Weird Al Yankovic to make fun of it all. But who knew he’d last so long? It’s been a few decades, now,

SINGLE TRACKS Too bad if you

The Tantric Trance Trio

r E v iE w s r E v iE w s r E v iE w s r E v iE w s r E v iE w s r E v iE w s r E v iE w

MICHELLE SHOCKED

THE HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE IS OPEN M-F FROM 11 AM SELLING TICKETS TO OUR UPCOMING EVENTS

STRIKE OUT This weekend marks your last chance to rock ’n’ bowl — at least at the Ethan Allen Lanes. A decades-old part of North Avenue’s shopping, bowling and cinema compound, Ethan Allen’s alleys will soon be sacrificed for the wide aisles of a modern Hannaford’s supermarket. All the more reason to be part of history — grab your spare change and head to The Bazookas, Freezerburn, The Super Spies and River City Rebels this Friday. Oh, and if they’re selling off those super-cool bowling shoes, a big reward goes to whoever brings me a pair (size 7'h, thank you).

DO GOOD DEPT. Ever go to a bene fit concert to be, well, beneficial, and the music was so great you for got all about the cause? Chances are the fifth anniversary of the Ripton Community Community will do just that — but that’s okay, because the whole point is to have a good time and keep coming back. This Saturday the all-star crew includes Louise Taylor, Rachel Bissex, Patti Casey and David Gusakov, Womensing, Tannager and The Riptones. The latter aptly named act is local yokels who have kept the coffee house percolating these five years. Oh, and the proceeds will go to upgrade the sound system. Can’t argue with that. While we’re on the subject, let it be known that the Women’s Rape Crisis Center in Burlington cleared more than $2000 from last Friday’s show at Club Metronome, thanks to a whole night’s worth of musicians and slam poets and the magnificent efforts of Big Heavy World. Way to organize.

Band name of the week:

& HER MOOD SWINGERS

ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHER GROUND, FLYNN THEATRE BOX O FFIC E, ALL FLYNN OUTLETS, PURE POP, PEACOCK M USIC, TONES OR CHARGE BY PHONE at 86-FLYNN

MILITARY MUSICAL COMPLEX Speaking of Eclipse, owner/producer Joe Egan announced this week he’s growing out of his 600square-foot home-based studio in Hinesburg — big-time. Reno vations begin next month that will transform a commercial space at Fort Ethan Allen in Colchester into a studio/production facility 10 times that size. Name’s changing to fit the expansion, too: Egan Media Productions. The place will house three audio studios as well as video editing and post-production facili ties — these constructed by Burlington musician/builder Tom Freiheit and acoustically engi

neered by Matt Bagarrozzo of Pro Audio Design in Rockland, Mass. Sounds great — only problem is, Joe will have to start driving to work like all the rest of us. EMP will join a coupla radio stations, a public television station and recording colleague Dan Archer out there at the former fort — now that’s a sonic boom.

didn’t get your tix, as the show is already sold out: The great Vassar Clements returns to Vermont to play with banjo/pedal steel player Gordon Stone, drummer Russ Lawton, Smokin’ Grass guitarist Doug Perkins and Phish bassist Mike Gordon. Expect a set of bluegrass and hillbilly jazz this Wednesday at Middlebury’s Mead Chapel. . . Borders brings back a month of Sundays — bluegrass Sundays, that is. Woodchucks’ Revenge kick off a lineup that includes New Yorkers Staber & Chasnoff, and Vermont’s Lost Nation Valley Boys and The Hub Cats . . . If you’re a country music fan, polish up your pointy-toe boots for WOKO’s Country Club Music Festival on July 9 out at the Champlain Valley fairgrounds, with Tracy Byrd, Lee Roy Parnell & Yankee Grey, Julie Reeves and the ubiquitous Jamie Lee Thurston. Yee haw . . . Who says bureaucrats can’t be hip? If you were in the know last Friday, you probably caught sight — and sound — of Bill Ferris, chair of the National Endowment for the Humanities, at UVM’s Memorial Lounge. Besides being a folklorist, filmmaker, scholar and founding director of the way-cool Center for Southern Culture at the University of Mississippi, Ferris throws down some sho-nuff mean blues, too . . . Jeff Salisbury contributed an arti cle to the Percussive Arts Society that only a drummer would under stand — something about “flammed mill explorations.” The local jazz drummer and Johnson State music teacher was amused to note his subject takes on other connotations at “Hot Licks On line” (at www.pas.org). It’s a drum ming pattern, honest . . . ®

WEDNESDAY, MAY 10 • S15 ADVANCE S17 DAY OF SHOW 104.7 THE POINT & MAGIC HAT BREWING WELCOME AN EVENING WITH

I B

STAGE FRIGHT? I warned you a while back to start practicing, and now it’s payoff time: the Advance Music Buzz Homebrew High School Band Search concert, this Sunday at Higher Ground. Six ner vous finalists will do their best to take home the considerable booty, including a day of recording at Eclipse, a $500 gift certificate from Advance, a cool band photo by Seven Days photographer Matthew TtlOrsen and props on the Buzz Web site. If deejay Kevin Murrihy has a mind to, he’ll even spin the winner’s stuff on the “Homebrew” show itself. Winner announced right here next week.

but the novelty act apparently has n’t worn out. Maybe that’s because this rock parodist is actually pretty funny. His new CD, Running With Scissors, includes, fer instance, “Grapefruit Diet” — a non.-fattening version of Cherry Poppin’ Daddies’ “Zoot Suit Riot.” I’m sorry, but that sort of wordplay makes me giggle. I’m not sure the humor — and multi-media extrav aganza with video, costume changes, stage sets, dancers and light show — will get me to shell out 34 bucks, though, but those of you with deeper pockets can check out just how weird Al really is this Monday at Mem Odd.

BRAD MEHLDAU TRIO, ART OF THE TRIO 4: BACK AT THE VANGUARD (Warner Brothers, CD) — With this fourth release in his A rt o f the Trio series, virtuoso pianist Brad Mehldau con tinues to draw from a seem ingly bottomless well of innovation. Since his 1995 debut, Introducing Brad Mehldau, he has paid his dues, recording live with veterans Lee Konitz and Charlie Haden, doing a hitch with saxophone star Joshua Redman and producing the first three Trio discs, plus a solo session entitled Elegiac Cycles. The one-time wunderkind is all grown up now, and with his original trio members, bassist Larry Grenadier and drummer Jorge Rossy, has managed to cover a vast musical landscape without retracing his steps. O n A rt o f the Trio 4, the young pianist once known for leaving lots of space in his music plays with a density that is awe-inspiring at times and just plain busy at others. He has the technical ability to execute any idea that comes into his head, and generally the ideas flow freely. W hen they don’t, he falls back on a tired rhythmic lick that has been with him since his debut. To be fair, though, the inspired moments overshadow these infrequent lapses into the banal. Mehldau is passionate about the improviser’s art, and that passion is evident in this latest offering. The material on A rt o f the Trio 4 is a mixed bag of jazz standards (Jerome Kern’s “All the Things You Are,” Miles Davis’ “Solar,” Irving Kahal/Sammy Fain’s “I’ll Be Seeing You”), three Mehldau originals and Radioheads “Exit Music (For a Film),” a tune that sounds suspiciously like a Chopin prelude. As he asserts in his copious and self-penned liner notes, Mehldau is annoyed that jazz jour-:

nalists persist in comparing him with the late Bill Evans, and that they con tinue to mention the obvi ous influence of his European classical training. Nevertheless, it is those classical chops that allow him to improvise with such abandon. As to the Evans comparison, Mehldau’s fearsome, two-hand inde pendence and angular note placement recall more the playing of Keith Jarrett. In any case, with this release, Mehldau need not trouble himself with such compar isons. His is a unique and original voice in modern jazz piano. Mehldau, Grenadier and Rossy perform for an early, seated, all-ages show this Saturday at Higher Ground. — Richard Mayer LOS STRAITJACKETS, THE VELVET TOUCH...OF LOS STRAITJACKETS (Yep Roc Records, CD) — With Dick Dale currently king of what’s been dubbed “biker rock,” rather than the surf guitar, Nashville’s Los Straitjackets seem the heirs apparent to the trad instrumental rock crown. Their most recent disc, The Velvet Touch. .. o f Los Straitjackets, finds them approaching even such genre-juggernauts as The Ventures in both chops and versatility. Guitarists Danny Amis and Eddie Angel, drummer Jim Leste and bassist Pete Curry are as comfortable lighting up a stomper like “Sterno” as they are wrestling the melodic beauty from the

Celine Dion-blighted “My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme from Titanic)." While Velvet Touch lapses into the generic at times, there are more than enough sparks, embellishments and recom binations here to keep things interesting. The opener, “Kawanga!” — sort of a backwards “Penetration” meets “Wipe O ut” — features the amazing Leste firing off some tommy-gun drum breaks. Amis and Angel shine on the staccatopicked “Hornet’s Nest” as well as the tremoloriff-driven “Tempest.” Touches like the mariachi horns on “Tijuana Boots” and the way Jay Mason’s clarinet klezmerizes the otherwise Latin-sounding “Tabouli” set these guys apart from lesser instrumentalists. Los Straitjackets swing, swing, swing Louis Prima’s “Sing, Sing, Sing,” and the closer, “All That Glitters,” might be called “Rock and Roll Part 2,” except it has a better melody than anything Gary Glitter ever came up with. The Mexican wrestling masks that Los Straitjackets sport live express their affinity for Mexican rock and wrestling (Amis’ mask collection numbers in the hundreds), and their tours occasionally take them south of the border. Curry specializes in Spanish wrestlingannouncer stage patter, as well as some of the best faces and moves in the biz — rock or wrestling. The most successful masked band ever — Kiss doesn’t count, technically — Los Straitjackets rely on energy and taste more than gim micks or over-the-top fire works. So check out their newest, impeccably pro duced disc and/or come early to Higher Ground this Tuesday — the band opens for the Amazing Crowns and Rev. Horton Heat. — Paul Gibson

ft dame fathering place featuring international cuisine and incorporating fresh, local products

presents the C . ;

Alternative Rock/Blues

Band Camp June 26-30

L iv e if lu s ic

Guitar | Bass | Drums | Keys | Vocals

The Jazz Festival’s theme “Living Legends/Modern Masters” suggests an

If you're a teen, know your instrument, and are ready to get into jamming, improvising, and arranging in a live band context, call the Monteverdi Music School!

oldster/youngster showcase. Indeed, the annual Blues Tent — on the waterfront this year —

Friday, fllaq5, 9:00pm

1.802.229.9000

will blister with three musicians whose gifts seemed to have sprung fully formed from the womb. Shemekia Copeland is only 20 and already has the vocal power and charisma of the great Etta James. She comes by it geneticially — her father is the late Texas blues guitar legend Johnny Clyde Copeland. In the red-hot mama tradition, Copeland belts soulful blues with assurance and raw sen suality. On the same bill is the Grammy-nominated Corey

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With Harris comes the passionate — and blind — N’awlins r&b pianist Henry Butler. That’s a power trio to make June 8 go down in Burlington’s blues history.

sOUnd AdviCe continued from page 27

156, 6:30 p.m. NC. ACOUSTIC JAM W/JACIE & PAUL, Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. BUZZ HOMEBREW HIGH SCHOOL BAND SEARCH (com petition), Higher Ground, 6 p.m. NC. AA KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. BILL MYREGAARD TRIO (jazz), Bridge St. Cafe, 7:30 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (acoustic), Capitol Grounds, 11 a.m. NC.

M ONDAY WEIRD AL YANKOVIC (multimedia music parody), Memorial. Aud., Burlington, 8 p.m. $28.50/34. ALLEY CATS JAM W/MARK BRISSON & FRIENDS (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. DAVE GRIPPO (funky jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DYSFUNKSHUN, JOHN W ISH BONE, DIRTY BLONDES (hiphop/funk, punk), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. BLUES JAM W/THE NERBAK BROS., Nectar’s, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Rasputin’s, 9 p.m. NC. BEENIE MAN W/ TANTO METRO & DEVONTE (dancehall reggae), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $20/22. 18+ JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow! Bella, 6 p.m. NC.

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OPEN STAGE W/TOM BISSON (acoustic), Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8:30 p.m. NC.

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TU ESD A Y BOB GAGNON TRIO (jazz), Leunig’s, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. Donations. LADY ZENO’S DRAG BINGO (benefit for Pride VT 2000), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. NC. SALAD DAYS (pop-rock), Nectar’s, 9 p.m. NC. FATTIE B. & MELO GRANT (urban DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. JAMES HARVEY (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. OFF THA LEASH W/TRAUM UNIT (hip-hop DJs LV, Dubee, Andy, Double; electronica), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $2/7. BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. 0X0N0ISE (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. N C .. : REV. HORTON HEAT, AMAZING CROWNS, LOS STRAITJACKETS (rockabilly), Higher Ground, 9 0 p.m. $12/14. 18+ DAVE KELLER W/GUEST . . (acoustic blues), Bridge St. Cafe, 6 p.m. NC. ACOUSTIC JAM, Daily Bread > Bakery, 7:30 p.m. NC. ©

COLLEGE STUDENTS NEED M ONEY FO R YOUR FO U R YEAR COLLEGE D E G R E E ?? Your college education may be closer than you think. With tuition costs constantly rising, the price of a college education may seem out o f sight. The Vermont Army National Guard offers tuition assistance to those who

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Festival highlights include:

Festival

27TH SEASON GRAND OPENING featuring the Vermont Mozart Festival Orchestra with guest conductor Gerard Schwarz

M ike’s Campus

ORCHESTRE SYMPHONIQUE DE MONTREAL WITH CHARLES DUTOIT

WEEK-LONG CLASSES Katherine Kramer • Jazz and Tap

• GILBERT AND SULLIVAN ALFRESCO at the Basin

Jeh Kulu ■West African Pete Sutherland ■Folk Dance

Harbor Club

*Plus Yoga, Experimental Anatomy, Pilates, and more

• BACH SATURDAY on the South Porch at Shelburne Farms • "TUBBY THE TUBA" at the Vermont Teddy Bear Factory

Call VT Dance Theater 1-800-821-0232

Sponsored by the Vermont Arts Council

• IRISH TENOR ROBERT WHITE at the Grand Isle Lake House and Trapp Family Meadow

• VIVALDI'S FOUR SEASONS at the Coachyard at Shelburne Farms

by gwenn garland

HANDEL'S ROYAL FIREWORKS with a fireworks display at Trapp Family Meadow

..plus much more! R g o u rm et ' b lu e s c a b a r e t! : Shelburne Form s Coach Born Sflturday, May 2 7 , i 6 -9 p.m. $ 5 0 r Food by Let’s Pretend Catering

featuring

Big J o e B urrell Sc T he Unkrtown B lu e s B and

To benefit the Burlington Community Land T rust Coll 8 6 2 -6 2 4 4

I I R N Y T H R N K S TO OU R O I N I R O U B S P O N S O R S ! NORTHGATE RESIDENTS* ASSOCIATION, MALONEY PROPERTIES, INC.,

Howard S ank, C hittenden Bank, Duncan-Wisniewski

architecture ,

Bon n ie Acker , Ben & jerry ’s . Borders Books , Music and C a fe , C happell ’s f lo r is t , Melissa Connor , C h ristin e D emarais , Gardener ’s S upply , G regory S upply , Karla ’s D ramatic d es s er ts , keouc- k in terior p la n n in g ,

Key Bank , o n l y o n c e G raphics , reprographics of

N ew ENGLAND, StSTERS OF MERCY OF VERMONT, VANTAGE PRESS, VERMONT HOUSE OF COFFEE, V ermont t e d d y Be ar , Vermont T ent

For a complete listing of events or to purchase tickets call

V is it o u r w e b s it e

w w w .v tm o z a rt.c o m

8 0 0 -6 3 9 -9 0 9 7

Media sponsor: W* VA ~ ermoXnt’sTOwV n ^M

state of the state: Sprawl wasn’t much of a problem in Vermont at the turn of the lastedntu

amor vincit omnibus ■ Love is a universal language. Music is another, and they are coupled

ry. Vermont was solidly rural, and considered by some to be a backwater. Once a bastion of Republicanism, Vermont is now the liberal land of civil unions and solo socialists. Journalist Chris Graff has witnessed 22 years of the last 100, covering the state for the Associated Press. The Middlebury grad accounts for the economic and political changes over the last century and makes a few of his own predictions. Thursday, May 4. Memorial Lounge, Waterman Building, UVM, Burlington, 7:30p.m. Free. Info, 656-4389.

creatively in Promise o f A Love Song. Saxophonist Donald Harrison Jr. brings the noise to a story of a young lawyer who falls for her client, a civil rights advocate. Banjo music backs up the tale of a mother devoted to her mentally impaired son. Salsa and bolero music spice up the story of a Puerto Rican immigrant in New York reminiscing about her father. Not every language is universal, though — so the last story is bilingual. Saturday, May 6. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $17.50-23-50. Info, 863-5966.

fowl weather: Spring is for the birds — literally. Though Vermont still has more mud than buds, migrant visitors of the avian persuasion are swarming the state. This week alone, there are forays to find them, workshops to welcome them and a landscaping session on how to create a bird-friendly backyard. Celebrate the summer visitors — or catch them on their way to Canada — by high-tailing it to any one of these upcom ing avian events. Childrens program, Thursday, May 4. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 3:30-5:30p.m. $9- Info, 229-6206. Bird landscaping, Saturday, May 6. Vermont Community Botanical Garden, 1100 Dorset St., S. Burlington, 10-11 a.m. $10. Info, 863-1308. Bird walks, Shelburne Farms, 7-9:30 a.m. $5. Info, 985-8686. Berlin Pond, 7-11 a.m. $15. Register, 454-4640.

mayday:

Cinco de Mayo isn’t the Mexican Independence Day — it commemorates a battle that took place more than 50 years after the country won its freedom. But you don’t have to be Latino to join the fiesta. Not in Burlington, anyway. Montreal Latin sensations Papo Ross y Banda Playa are heading south of the bor der for the occasion, hosted by deejay Hector “El Salsero” Cobeo. And if you think salsa is just for dipping chips, check out the pre-party dance lessons. Friday, May 5. Clarion Hotel, S. Burlington, 9p.m . - 1:30 a.m. $13. Info, 862-5082.

HI? and " A p o w e rfu l an d tra n s fo rm a tiv e ...

remembrance of things proust: “The voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new horizons, but in seeing with new eyes,” said French writer Marcel Proust. He lived by his words — his work is a painstaking re-examination of the life of a man of leisure. The need to look back and analyze seems to inspire the same in others — critical dissections abound. Lincoln author Roger Shattuck’s book is the latest study of the 16-volume epic, In Search o f Lost Time. His Proust’s Way is subtitled “a field guide” because the legendarily long writings aren’t easy to navigate. Shattuck leads a literary excursion into the field of philosophy. Tuesday, May 9. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p. m. Free. Info, 229-0774.

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Friday, May 12 8 pm • S p au ld in g A u d ito riu m Presented in conjunction with the Native Americans at Dartmouth's 28th annual Pow Wow.

Cosponsored by The Point. Music sample on the web www.hop.dartmouth.edu

harpers hero • John Brown was on an abolition mission when he left Lake Placid in the mid-

TICKETS & INFORMATION 603.646.2422

1800s. He went south via Vermont’s Route 7 to Harpers Ferry in West Virginia, where he led a raid on its fed eral arsenal with an interracial band of 19 men. Reaction to his action, trial and execution is widely considered to be the spark that started the Civil War. On the 200th anniversary of his birth, actors, activists and authors convene for two days at his Adirondack grave to remember a colorful Yankee rebel. Friday and Saturday, May 5 and 6. John Brown Farm, Lake Placid. See calendar for times. Free. Info, 518962-4781.

Mon - Fri, 10 am - 6 pm • Sat, 1 pm - 6 pm • V isa/M C /A m e x/D isco ver Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH 03755 • www hop dartmouth edu

T ’f ie S a u d i ( B a r d u n Tine ToocC T Casuaf ‘D in in g

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"We go to art to find something that will be more effective in the living of our lives." *

(John "Junebug fabbo Jones" O'Neal)

Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

Junebug Productions, Roadside Theater, & Pregones Theater

"Promise of a Love Song" Saturday, May 6 at 8 pm Three powerful love stories— of a young lawyer and the civil rights activist she defends, a mother \ ^ J and her mentally impaired son, and a woman \ y remembering her father through found letters— are ^ -------- ^ told from the perspectives of African-American, Appalachian, and Puerto Rican traditions. Co-commissioned by the Flynn, three of the nation’s foremost theater companies join in this moving musical theater piece, punctuated with stirring sounds ranging from traditional folk and jazz to boleros and salsa. Promise of a Love Song is a powerful meditation on the nature of love across cultures and time. Sponsored by

HT he K ountry Kart D eli

Media Support from point

THEATRE

*53 Main St., Burlington, VT 863.5966 www.fjlynntheatre.org

page 30

SEVEN DAYS

may 3, 2000

3 w e d n e s c fe . music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” SAMULNORI: A colorful quartet of virtu oso percussionists brings traditional Korean music and dance to life. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $18.50-24.50. Info, 863-5966.

SINGER-SONGWRITER SHOWCASE: Local favorites Greg Douglass, Katherine Q uinn and Patrick Fitzsimmons perform at the Cambridge Coffeehouse, Smugglers Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-2233. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: Student and faculty composers perform original works in conjunction with the Festival of New Musics. Faulkner Recital Hall, H op kins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422. DAVE LIEBMAN GROUP: The former Miles Davis sideman fronts his own jazz

quartet. Alumni Auditorium, Lyndon Institute, Lyndonville, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 748-2600.

tumes on stage, in film and in the museum. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College. 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2808.

dance

words

‘FINAL S H O W IN G ’: Students perform their own compositions at an informal dance concert. Dance Theatre, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

PENNY CLUSE WRITERS: Waiters, dij washers and other cafe staff serve up a selej tion of their own writings at a benefit real ing. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., j Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-0569) ‘VIOLA WHITE AND C O M M U N lT j

‘THE WILD BUNCH’: A couple of out laws try to pull off a train robbery in Sam Peckinpah’s restored cut of his classic, with William Holden and Ernest Borgnine. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 7 p.m. $6 . Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The hum an figure motivates aspiring and accomplished artists in a weekly drawing session at the Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165. ‘PRESENTING COSTUME’: In conjunc tion with the “Hats, Fashion and Fine Art” exhibit, Margaret Spicer speaks about cos-

Abernethy curator Bob Buckeye talks abo1# his pioneering predecessor — the first woman to write a doctoral dissertation o» Herman Melville. Abernethy Room, Start Library, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5000. ‘LITERATURE OF THE EAR NORTH’ BOOK GROUP: A discussion of Olga Kharitidi’s Entering the Circle sheds literal)' light on a relatively unknown part of the world. S. Hero Com munity Library, 7 pAFree. Info, 372-6209.

kids SONG & STORYTIME: Threes are co#1' pany at this singing read-along. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

HOMESCHOOLERS’ STORYTIME:

Stay-at-home students hear tales on the subject o f “m orphing.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1:30-2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

etc WATERFRONT LECTURE SERIES: An anthropology prof and a local Abenaki speak about traditional Native American use of the Burlington waterfront. Lake Champ lain Basin Science Center, Burlington, 7 p.m. Donations. Info, 864-1848. ADOPTION MEETING: Search and sup port are on the agenda at a regular meeting of the Adoption Alliance of Vermont. S. Burlington Public Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2464. ETHICS AND DEMENTIA CONFER ENCE: Stephen Post, author of The Moral Challenge o f Alzheimer’s Disease, delivers the keynote address at a conference on ethics surrounding the illness. Capitol Plaza, Montpelier, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. $45-75. Register, 229-1022. STRATEGY MEETING: Advocates of a universal health care system for Vermont meet to plan a grassroots campaign strategy. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 434-3767.

tftu rs d a v music

* Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.”

ALISON KRAUSS & UNION STATIOl I he renowned singer and fiddle virtuoso performs her distinctive blend of country,

pop and bluegrass. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $25-32.50. Info, 863-5966. PIANO RECITAL: Student Sasha Gentling plays digitally demanding works for solo piano. Concert Hall, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

CASTLETON WIND ENSEMBLE: Guest conductor Mark Spede leads the stu dent group through works by Gustav Holst, Charles Ives, Malcolm Arnold and Frank Ticheli. Fine Arts Center, Castleton State College, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 468-5611. FOLK CONCERT: “Liberation” singer Andres Jimenez performs Puerto Rican independence songs at Collis Commonground, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H ., 8 p.m. Free. Info, 434-3767. CHRIS SMITHER: The contemporary folk singer brings his blues-styled sound to the T.W Wood Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. $15. Info, 229-9495.

drama ‘BAD DREAMS’: The school’s drama department stages two one-act “comedies of the subconscious”: Woody Allens Death and Christopher Durang’s The Actor’s Nightmare. S. Burlington High School, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 652-7001. ‘LITTLE VICTORIES’: Lavonne Muller penned this drama about Susan B. Anthony and Joan of Arc, neither of whom lived to see her triumphs. Studio Theatre, Middle bury College Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. $1. Info, 443-6433. ‘CAUGHT IN THE ACT’: The Drama Department presents two one-act plays: Infancy, by Thornton Wilder, and a musical

version of Anton Chekhovs The Marriage Proposal. Moore Theater, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $ 8. Info, 603-646-2422. ‘W IT’: A literature professor faces lifethreatening illness in Northern Stage’s pre sentation of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play. Briggs Opera House, W hite River Junction, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 296-7000.

film FILM PROJECT SCREENING: Students show off a semester of self-made films. Concert Hall, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. ‘AN IDEAL HUSBAND’: The screen adaptation of the Oscar Wilde comedy of manners covers all the bases: honesty, black mail, marital happiness, true love and wit. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H ., 7 p.m. $ 6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.

words POETRY WORKSHOP: Local poet David Weinstock shares writing tips with poetry fans and aspiring authors. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

Don't get caught in a buffet line! Let us serve you and your special guest. __________ ________________________Dine in style by the lake with the best o p e n Seven ‘D a y s view, food and staff around. ‘Mouday-Sunday: 5:009:00 Sunday 'Brunch: 9:00- 1:00 Tor N a t i o n , cati i 7 2 - t 9 n

Bring Mom to the Sand Bar!!!

Only minutes from downtown ‘B urlington

Hermanos Productions Presents

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Friday, Hay 5 - 9 pm - 1 am $13 (all tickets sold at door)

§|' §

The Clarion Hotel Conference Center Burlington, VT

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*0 $80 VI ^

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y Banda Playa, the hottest Latin Band in Montreal

kids

^ V e r m o n t's Premier Latin DJ,

‘READING RAINBOW7 STORYTIME:

H e c to r HEl S iU c r c " C o b e o i

Little listeners soak up The Shaman’s Apprentice: A Tale o f the Amazon Rainforest. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

STORY & CRAFT TIME: Kids three and

Com? join us for

& ’N l-.e rcfigu -t l e s s c i s s

before the dance from 7:30-9:00 pm (sharp) - Lessons F P

w ith Dance tntrance

For more information contact Hector (obeo at (802) 862-5082 or or e-m ail me at: VtSalsero@aol.com

may 3, 2000

SEVEN DAYS

page 31

■ v<^ '

up engage in artful educational activi ties. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington,' 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘O N T H E M O VE’: Kids in grades 5-7 learn about bird migration and build houses for feathered spring visitors. See “to do” list, this issue. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 3:30-5:30 p.m. $9. Info, 229-6206.

night away at a deejay-directed spring fling. YMCA, Burlington, 8:30-11 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9622. RAGAMALA M U SIC AN D DANCE THEATER: The Minneapolis-based troupe mixes Indian tradition and inno vation with a bharatanatyam dance about a love affair between a milkmaid and Krishna. Paramount Theatre, Rutland, 8 p.m $20. Info, 775-5413.

friday music

sport W O M E N ’S RUGBY PRACTICE: Newcomers and experienced scrum mers are welcome at this workout with the Burlington W omens Rugby team. Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester, 5:45 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4004.

etc C H R IS GRAFF: Vermont’s Associated Press chief reflects on a century of change in a lecture entitled “Vermont at the Start o f the 21st Century.” M em orial Lounge, Waterman Building, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4389. M USEUM VOLUNTEERS: Hands-on helpers learn to make the lake come alive through educational activities at the Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Register, 864-1848. SC H O O L BOARD M EETIN G: Residents and board members share ideas for revising the school budget. Burlington High School cafeteria, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8461. G L B T Q SU PPO R T GRO UP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. O utright Central Vermont, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. E M O T IO N S AN ONY M OU S: W omen suffering depression, anxiety or other problems get support through a 12-step program. 86 Lake Street, Bur lington, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-1970. ‘EM BODYING EXPERIENCE’: Robert Kest leads an exploration of meditation and movement in daily life. 64 Main St., Montpelier, 7-9:15 p.m. Free. Info, 229-6989. SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVORS GRO UP: Victims o f violence support and educate their peers. Puffer United Methodist Church, Morrisville, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 888-5256.

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” SAMULNORI: See May 3, Woodstock Town Hall Theater, 8 p.m. $12-21. Info, 457-3981. ‘GYPSIES & W ANDERERS’: Tenor Peter Burroughs and pianist Carlos Rodriguez perform duos by Brahms and Liszt as well as Latin American dance songs. First Baptist Church, 81 St. Paul St., Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 862-5386. ST U D E N T CONCERT: Tenor Peter Dixon and soprano Dionne Thornton end the semester on a high note. Concert Hall, Middlebury College Center for the Arts, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. JAMES HARVEY TR IO : Bassist John Rivers and drum mer Gabe Jarrett join pianist James Harvey for a night of hot jazz. Villa Tragara, Waterbury Center, 6:30 p.m. $5. Info, 244-5288. ENSEMBLE SOLEIL: “The Inner Voice” is a performance o f ethereal • Renaissance viol music from the Bostonbased early music ensemble. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 899-4008. JO S H BROOKS: The Vermont singersongwriter serenades shoppers at Bor ders, Church Street Marketplace, Bur lington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. BRITISH BALLADS IN N E W EN G LAND: Singer-scholar Burt Porter pre sents a program of New England bal lads, with a focus on Vermont versions, at the Charlotte Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 425-3864. ‘SIX TEENTH-CEN TU RY VOICES’: The college Chamber Singers perform a cappella works by Palestrina, Orlando di Lasso and Tomas Luis de Victoria. See “to do” list, this issue. Rollins Chapel, Dartm outh College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

art

drama ‘BAD DREAMS’: See May 4. ‘W IT ’: See May 4. ‘CAUGHT IN T H E A CT’: See May 4. ‘LITTLE VICTORIES’: See May 4. ‘T H E DIARY OF AN NE FRANK’: Rice Memorial students team up with Champlain Arts Theatre Company to stage the true story of young Jewish girl hiding in an attic during the Holocaust. M ann Hall Auditorium, Trinity College, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $4-7. Info, 860-3611. ‘A STORY’S A STORY’: Deborah Lubar stars in a one-woman show about two aging immigrant women living on New York’s Lower East Side. Holley Hall, Bristol, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 388-3056. ‘T W O LITTLE VAGRANTS’: Pierre DeCourcelle’s melodrama about affairs, blackmail and kidnapping was the first play to be performed on this stage, 100 years ago. The Barre Players reprise it. Barre Opera House, 7:30 p.m. $9-11. Info, 476-8188. ‘T H E CURSE O F T H E STARVING CLASS’: Senior student James Sparnon stars in the seldom-seen Sam Shepard drama. Hepburn Zoo, Middlebury College, 8 p.m. $1. Info, 443-6433. ‘SECO N D CH A N CE’: The White River Valley Players stage an original musical about love between members of feuding families. Rochester High School, 8 p.m. $8-10. Info, 767-3333. ‘BABE, T H E PLAY’: Elizabeth Summerlin stars in a one-woman play about Babe Didrickson Zaharias — per haps the greatest female athlete of the 20th century. Pam Cole Skating Rink, Morristown, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 888-6983. ‘T H E TRIAL O F REBECCA PEAKE’: Randolph resident Maura Campbell penned this play based on the 1835 Vermont trial of a woman accused of murdering her adult stepson. Haskell Opera House, Derby Line, 7:30 p.m. $8. Info, 334-8145.

dance C IN C O DE MAYO LATIN DANCE PARTY: Deejay Hector “El Salsero” Cobeo turns it over to the Montrealbased Latin band Papo Ross y Banda Playa. Clarion Hotel, S. Burlington, 9 p.m. - 1:30 a.m. $13. Info, 862-5082. SPRING DANCE: Teens dance the

‘TH REE W O M E N O N T H E ROAD’: This Korean film looks at the seemingly privileged lives of three young women it follows through college and into marriage. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 7:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIRST FRIDAY TOUR: Art lovers indulge in an evening of gallery hopping via trolley service linking exhibits at the Firehouse, Doll-Anstadt, Flynndog, Grannis, Frog Hollow, Men’s Room, Rose Street, Rhombus, Union Street and Rick Sutta galleries, Cathedral Arts and Burlington College. Downtown Bur lington, 5-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166.

words SUGARING TALK: Greg Joly talks about Helen and Scott Nearing, self-suf ficient homesteaders who wrote The Maple Sugar Book. Deerleap Books, Bris tol, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

kids SO NG & STORYTIME: See May 3, 10:15-10:45 a.m. ‘M U SIC W IT H ROBERT A N D G IG I’: Kids sing songs with Robert Resnik and his fiddle-playing friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

sport ‘WALK FOR HEALTHY A G IN G ’: Hit the pavement with striders of all ages to benefit the Champlain Valley Agency on Aging. Dorset Park, S. Burlington, 3:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 800-642-5119. SENIO R SW IM: Older adults get aquatic exercise during pool time set aside for seniors only. YMCA, Burling ton, 2-4 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7541. O PEN VOLLEYBALL: Servers and spikers mix it up in a game open to all adults. YMCA, Burlington, 1:30-3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7541. WATER AEROBICS: Work it out underwater in this splashy session. Racquets Edge, Burlington, 3-4 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7541.

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‘R U N N IN G RENDEZVOU S’ & ;SPA W EEKEND: Runners take to the woods with trainers and get tips on improving techniques. Stoweflake M ountain Resort, 5 p.m. $20-70. Register, 253-7355.

etc G L B T Q SU PPO R T GROUP: See May 4, O utright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. ‘CURB YOUR CAR’ DAY: Chittenden County Transportation offers free bus rides today for people willing to get around without their own set of wheels. Info, 658-1414. ‘2600’ M EETIN G: Hackers, cyber punks, geeks and assorted wired types meet to socialize and converse. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 5-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. PU ERTO RICAN FORUM: The Vermont Puerto Rico Solidarity Committee discusses U.S. military occu pation of Vieques at a community forum and dinner. Burlington College, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 425-6183. JO H N BROW N CELEBRATION: Acclaimed actor Ossie Davis reads from a speech by Frederick Douglass on the 200th anniversary of John Brown’s birth. The abolitionist is buried in the Adirondacks. United Church of Christ, Elizabethtown, N.Y., 7:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 518-962-4781. QUILTERS GU ILD M EETIN G: Guests are welcome to patch ideas together at a gathering that includes a talk by quilter Paula Nadelstern. Essex Alliance Church, Old Stage Rd., Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2160. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU PPORT GRO UP: Battered W omen’s Services and Shelter facilitates a group in Barre, 10-11:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

Saturday music

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” V E R M O N T Y O U TH ORCHESTRA: The student ensemble performs Copland’s Appalachian Spring, Schumann’s Spring Symphony and the Violin Concerto in C Major, by Dmitry Kabalevsky. U-32 High School, M ont pelier, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 658-4708.

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TAMMY FLETCHER: The big-voiced soul singer belts it out to benefit the Vermont Parent Information Center. A buffet dinner is part of the deal. Coach Barn, Shelburne Farms, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-5315. REGGAE DA NCE PARTY: The local band Pickled Beats opens for the rasta rhythm master Abdul Baki and New Roots. Proceeds benefit the Winooski Valley Co-op. Plainfield Town Hall, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 454-8579. RACH M AN INOFF FESTIVAL C H O IR : A 100-voice choir combining the Bowdoin Chorus and the Down East Singers performs the “Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom” in the original Church Slavonic language. Mead Chapel, Middlebury College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 443-5685. ALL-STAR BENEFIT CONCERT: Louise Taylor, Rachel Bissex, Patti Casey, David Gusakov, Womensing and Tannager are among the local luminaries raising funds for the Ripton C om m un ity Coffee House, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 388-9782. V ERNO N JO N ES & T H E W O R L D O F GOSPEL: The 15-musician ensem ble belts out rock-solid gospel tunes like “Amazing Grace,” as well as contempo rary works. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 728-9878. PRESTO: Asiat Ali leads the student string orchestra in a concert of classical works. Winooski High School, 11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 658-4708. K IN G D O M COFFEEH OUSE: Seth Yacovone and Brent Weaver team up — and unplug — for a duo performance at the Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 732-4705. BARBARY COAST JAZZ ENSEM BLE: Four graduating seniors supply solos at this sizzling jazz concert. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422.

dance ‘DANCES O F UNIVERSAL PEACE’: Circle dances and chants from all over the world bring pacifist people together. Vt. Yoga Studio, Chace Mill, Burling ton, 7-9 p.m. $5-7. Info, 482-2836. BALLROOM DANCE: Exercise does n’t have to be work. C ut the rug to live music at the S. Burlington Middle School, 8-11 p.m. $20 per couple. Info, 878-3799.

FAMILY DANCE: Roland and the Ramblers and the Feelin’ Alright Band provide live tunes at this all-ages event. Westford Elementary School, 7-11 p.m. $3-5. Info, 879-3022. CO N TR A DANCE: Following a waltz workshop, Katherine Wedderburn calls for the Please and T hank You String Band at this northern-style community hoedown. Capitol City Grange Hall, Montpelier, 8 p.m. Workshop, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 744-6163.

drama ‘BAD DREAMS’: See May 4. ‘LITTLE VICTORIES’: See May 4, 2 & 8 p.m. ‘T W O LITTLE VAGRANTS’: See May 5. ‘SECO N D CH A N CE’: See May 5. ‘T H E DIARY O F ANNE FRANK’: See May 5. ‘A STORY’S A STORY’: See May 5. ‘BABE, T H E PLAY’: See May 5. Stowe High School, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 888-6983. ‘W IT ’: See May 4, $20. ‘CAU GHT IN T H E A C T ’: See May 4. ‘T H E CURSE O F T H E STARVING CLASS’: See May 5, 2 & 8 p.m. ‘T H E TRIAL O F REBECCA PEAKE’: See May 5. ‘PROM ISE O F A LOVE SO N G ’: Three dramatic stories explore the nature of love in African-American, Appalachian and Puerto Rican cultures. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $17.50-23.50. Info, 863-5966. ‘T H E O D D COU PLE:’ Firefly Pro ductions takes on Neil Simons classic comedy about mismatched roommates. Cambridge Elementary School, Jeffer sonville, 7 p.m. $6. Info, 644-2542.

film ‘T H E EM PEROR AN D T H E ASSAS SIN ’: A king’s lover falls for a hired killer amidst battles between kingdoms in ancient China. Loew Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H ., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. STEPHEN HU NECK: The artistauthor of M y Dogs Brain signs copies of his new, colorful, canine-focused creation: Sally Goes to the Beach. Frog Hollow, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington,

1-3 p.m. Free. Info, 388-4074.

words ‘T H E C O -O P C O O K B O O K ’: The education director of the Hanover Co op discusses and signs her new cook book. Borders, Church Street Market place, Burlington, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. SCIENCE FIC T IO N READING: Maine-based writers Sharon Lee and Steve Miller read from their works at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

kids STORYTIME: Young readers delve into classic and new tales at a laid-back, liter ary happening. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. CH IL D R E N ’S FAIR: Activities keeps kids occupied while their parents browse for books and baked goods, and make bids at a silent auction. International Commons, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2650. PLAY A N D CIRCLE TIM E: The Lake Champlain Waldorf School presents the puppet play “Briar Rose.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTELLING: Middle and high schoolers share American and Chinese folktales with journey themes. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-5765. SCIENCE SHOW: Burlington High School students exhibit school science projects relating to rockets, solar cars, hover craft and other high-tech stuff. Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington Waterfront, 12:30-4:30 p.m. $3. Info, 864-1848. NATIVE AMERICAN ‘H O P S T O P ’: Storyteller Michael Caduto introduces Native American music and lore in an interactive program for children and families. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H ., 11 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

sport ‘RU N N IN G RENDEZVOUS’ & SPA W EEKEND: See May 5, 9 a.m. - 6 p:m. $35. NATURE WALK: Scope out seasonal changes to flora and fauna on this leisurely stroll around the grounds of

VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 10-11 a.m. Free. Info, 229-6206. W O R K HIKE: Bring lunch, water and work gloves on a spring clearing of the Jonesville-to-Bolton section of the Long Trail. Register, 862-3941. BIKE RIDE: Roll with the punches on a 25-mile ride with the Montpelier sec tion of the Green Mountain Club. Meet at Montpelier High School, 9 a.m. Free. Register, 229-9851.

etc PUERTO RICAN FORUM : See May 5, Trinity United Methodist Church, Montpelier, 4 p.m. Donations. Info, 456-8126. JO H N BROW N CELEBRATION: See May 5. A three-hour tribute to the Adirondack abolitionist concludes with a pilgrimage to his grave site. Trinity Chapel, Old Military Road, Lake Placid, N.Y., 11 a.m. Free. Info, 518-962-4781. SINGLES W IN E TASTING: Mix and mingle over reds and whites o f Australia. Wine Works, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $25. Info, 864-5684. GREEN-UP DAY: Pitch in to beautify Vermont roadsides and communities. Venues around the state. Info, 2294586. Plant trees in the Intervale, Gardener’s Supply, Burlington, 8:30 a.m. Free. Info, 660-3500. CRAFT & FINE ART SHOW: Fashions, fragrances, fudge and a field of fabulous items await spring shoppers at the Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $5. Info, 878-4786. ‘LANDSCAPING FOR W ILDLIFE’: Learn which trees and flowers are best for attracting birds. See “to do” list, this issue. Vermont Com munity Botanical Garden, 1100 Dorset St., S. Burlington, 10-11 a.m. $10. Info, 863-1308. FLEA MARKET: Look for clothing, books, toys and jewelry among the timetested treasures at the Com munity Lutheran Church, S. Burlington, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-5537. SHELBURNE FARMS TO U R: A spe cial, all-day tour takes visitors around the entire working farm, from the Breeding Barn to the big house. Shelburne Farms, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. $6. Info, 985-8686. BIRD WALK: Scope out spring migra tory birds on a guided stroll around the grounds of Shelburne Farms, 7-9:30 a.m. $5. Info, 985-8686.

‘EVERYTHING’ SALE: Rummage around for furniture, toys, clothing and all kinds o f bargains to benefit the Stern Center Scholarship Fund. First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 878-2332. FARMERS MARKET: Look for Vermont-grown agricultural products and crafts on the corner o f Elm and State Streets, Montpelier, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 426-3800. BIRD T O U R: Can’t tell an eagle from an egret? Learn how to identify birds by sight and song on this guided walk. Berlin Pond, 7-11 a.m. $15. Register, 454-4640. FIRE SAFETY DAY: Professional and volunteer firefighters from around the region demonstrate safety and rescue techniques. Montshire Museum, Nor wich, 1-4 p.m. $5.50. Info, 649-2200. BAKE & B O O K SALE: Read it and eat. Explore your tastes in homebaked goods and second-hand literature at the Red Brick Meeting House, Westford, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 878-5894. FID DLEH EA D FESTIVAL: Sample dishes with wild ingredients such as leeks, ginger, Indian cucumber and of course, baby ferns. Venues around Manchester, 10 a.m. - 10 p.m. Free. Info, 362-2100. W IN E TASTING: Get in touch with your inner oenophile at an introduction to various vini. W ine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington, 1-5 p.m. 50<t per taste. Info, 951-9463.

Zinday music

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” V E R M O N T Y O U T H ORCHESTRA: See May 6, Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 3 p.m. $10. V E R M O N T W IN D ENSEMBLE: The college group blows the house down with classical wind favorites. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040. FID D LE CON CERT: Sawyers convene for a monthly concert hosted by the Northeast Fiddlers Association. Chelsea High School, 1-5:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 244-8537. ‘BLACK W O M E N & T H E ART S O N G ’: Singer Evelyn Kwanza per forms traditional spirituals, along with

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802-985-4961

poems by Langston Hughes and Lucille Clifton set to music. Lake Champlain W aldorf School, Shel burne, 3:30 p.m. $6. Info, 985-2827. VAUGHAN RECITAL SERIES: A mezzo-soprano student sings selections from Carmen, Le Nozze di Figaro and songs by Barber, Brahms and Rossini. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartm outh College, Hanover, N .H ., 4 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422. KEN LANGER: The Vermont com poser presents a recital o f new works commissioned by local musicians, including Dona Nobis Pacem, a piece for chorus, handbells, organ and vocal ists. Montpelier Unitarian Church, 3 p.m. $5. Info, 626-6235. W O O D C H U C K ’S REVENGE: Direct from Pittsford, the bluegrass band plays acoustic tunes off their new album, Fill One Room. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. PIA NO RECITAL: Three award-win ning French pianists perform in a spe cial recital. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartm outh College, Hanover, N .H ., 7 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama ‘T W O LITTLE VAGRANTS’: See May 5, 2 p.m. ‘SE C O N D C H A N C E ’: See May 5, 2 p.m. ‘T H E DIARY O F A N N E FRANK’: See May 5, 2 p.m. ‘T H E CURSE O F T H E STARVING CLASS’: See May 5. ‘W IT ’: See May 4, 5 p.m. $20. VARIETY SH O W AU D ITIO N S: Comics, poets, musicians and enter tainers o f every sort get a shot at a slot on a public access show. Richmond, 14 p.m. Free. Register for directions and time, 434-2604.

film ...W e St a n d B e h in d Every M e a l .

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W INDJAM M ER

‘1939’ DO UBLE FEATURE: John Wayne is an outlaw bent on revenge in John Ford s Western Stagecoach. Frank Capras classic, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, stars Jimmy Stewart as an idealistic senator. Spaulding Audit orium, Hopkins Center, Dartm outh College, Hanover, N .H ., 6:45 & 8:35 p.m. $ 6. Info, 603-646-2422.

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• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. PAINT-IN: The Green Mountain Decorative Painters share trompe I’oeil tips after a meeting at the S. Burling ton Town Office Building, 1 p.m. Free. Register, 878-3033.

words W RITERS M EETIN G : Vermont’s six finalists for the National Poetry Slam spice up the annual local meeting of the National Writers Union. Joe Citro is also scheduled to speak at Suzanna’s Restaurant, Barre, 1:30-5 p.m. Free. Info, 658-9667.

kids STORYTIM E: See May 6. ‘GA RD EN IN G W IT H KIDS’: Cultivate a child’s green thumb at this hands-on planting and pot decoration activity. Barnes & Noble, S. Burling ton, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. FAMILY W ETLA NDS EXPLO RATION: M uck around in local marshes to identify birds, wood frogs and amphibian life. Montshire Museum, Norwich, 9-10 a.m. $12-24. Register, 649-2200.

sport ‘R U N N IN G RENDEZVOUS’ & SPA W EEKEND: See May 5, 9 a.m. 1 p.m. ‘GREEN M O U N TA IN BOYS OF SU M M ER’: Major leaguer Len Whitehouse, a Burlington native, shares stories at this book signing. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. H O R SE SHOW : A two-phase com bined test and dressage schooling show takes center paddock at this equine spring fling. Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, 8:30 a.m. 3 p.m. Free. Info, 863-0205. SNAKE M O U N TA IN HIKE: Search out early wildflowers on an easy hike with a great view of the Adirondacks. 7:30 a.m. Free. Register, 862-9096. W ILDFLOW ER WALK: Bring a camera and bug repellant on a stroll by the Duck Brook Shelter in Jonesville. Meet at Montpelier High School, 9 a.m. Free. Register, 229-9677.

etc CRAFT & FINE ART SHOW : See

R E S T A U R A N T

/ /

art

May 6. W IN E TASTING: See May 6. COTS WALK: Walk a three-mile route to raise Rinds for emergency shelters, job training and other services for homeless Vermonters. Leaving from St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7402. PAGAN PO TLUCK A N D FILM: Share a meal with kindred spirits and view the film The Princess Bride. Unitarian Universalist Society, 152 Pearl St., Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 655-4378. VEGETARIAN POTLUCK: Meateaters, too, can indulge in this fleshfree feast. Take a place setting and a dish that contains no poultry, fish, gelatin, eggs, dairy or honey. Seventh Day Adventist Church, Williston, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0984. W ILDFLOW ER WALK: Get a look at trout lilies, trillium, cinqfoil and other spring blossoms. Green M ount ain Audubon Nature Center, Huntington, 2 p.m. $4. Info, 434-3068. ‘W O O FST O C K ’: The Addison County Humane Society leads this pet parade to mark Be Kind to Animals Week. Meet at Bristol Green, 10 a.m. Donations. Info, 388-1443. ‘A D O PTA TH O N ’: Pick out the per fect companion during a continuous 48-hour pet placement at the Addison County Humane Society, Middlebury, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 388-1100. ALL-SPECIES DAY: Come dressed as your favorite creature to a parade and spring pageant celebrating interdepen dence with all species. Statehouse Lawn and Hubbard Park, Montpelier, noon - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 454-1461. PLOW ING MATCH: Teamsters test the power and precision of their live stock in ox, mule and horse competi tions. Billings Farm and Museum, Woodstock, 10 a.m. $7. Info, 457-2355.

music • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” T O M BISSON: An open stage follows a performance by the local folk singer. Horn of the Moon Cafe, Montpelier, 8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5342.

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862-6 5 8 5

Labatt's Blue $1.50 Blue Hawaiian $2.7; Shed $2.00 Margarita $2.75

Budweiser $1.50 Mudslide $3.00

Shed $2.00 Daiquiris $2.75

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Rock Heart Brown Bear Ale $2.00 Skyy Cosmopolitan $3.00

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Magic Hat *9 $2.00 Chocolate Mint Kiss $3.00 Budweiser $1.50 Strawberry Swirl $3.00

c o m e r o f (B a tte r y a n d M a i n .

lues. & Thurs. — 25% off all appetizers after 4pm Sun., Mon. & Wed. — Daily Drink or Beer Special & Choice o f 10 wings or a half-pound burger for $5.99

V erm o n t 0 2 °8 6 2 °4 9 3 0

1633 Williston Rd. S. Burlington 862-1122

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SEVEN DAYS

may 3, 2000

F e s iva

June 6-11 For tickets call 86-FLYNN

a ctin g A C T O R ’S ST U D IO : Two Fridays, June 16 and 23, 6-9 p.m. and two Saturdays and Sundays, June 17, 18, 24 and 25, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Grace Kileys Vermont Actors W orkshop, W illiston Central School. Register, 864-0119. Through focused exercises, actors practice performance technique and scene study. TEEN A G E A C T IN G : Monday through Friday, July 10 through 14, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Grace Kileys Vermont Actors W orkshop, W illiston Central School. Register, 864-0119. Teenage actors study improvisation, acting tech nique and auditioning.

a ik id o A IK ID O O F C H A M PL A IN VALLEY: Adults, M onday through Friday, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m. Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 4-5 p.m. Aikido o f Cham plain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., W inooski. $55/m onth, $ 120 /three m onths, intro specials. Info, 654-6999 or www.aikidovt.org. Study this graceful, flowing martial art to develop flexibility, confidence and selfdefense skills. A IK ID O O F V E R M O N T : Ongoing classes M onday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m. Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m. Sunday, 10-11:30 a.m. Above O nion River Co-op, 274 N. W inooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art o f Aikido in a safe and supportive environment.

art O IL PA IN T IN G F U N D A M E N TALS: Four Thursdays, May 4 through 25, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $100. Register, 865-7166. Tad Spurgeon teaches adults from a disciplined, semiclassical model, beginning in mono chrome and working up to a fu ll palette. B E G IN N IN G W ATERCOLOR: Six Thursdays, May 4 through June 8, 7-9 p.m. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $100. Register, 865-7166. Jean Cannon teaches artists with prior draw ing experience. IN T R O T O EGG TEM PERA: Saturday, May 6 , 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $15. Register, 865-7166. Tad Spurgeon teaches basic painting techniques using this straightforward and subtle medium. ‘W ILD FLO W ERS A N D WATERC O L O R S’: Saturday, May 13. Bristol. $15. Register, 453-5885. Identify wildflowers and then paint them with watercolors. ‘D RA W IN G FO R PA IN TERS’: Saturday, May 20, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 Church St., Burlington. $20. Register, 865-7166. Develop a more personal and painterly drawing style. PA IN T IN G : Six Wednesdays, May 24 through June 28, 6-8:30 p.m. Bristol. $90. Register, 453-5885. K it Donnelly teaches color a nd composition techniques in a variety o f mediums.

b u sin e ss ‘G E T T IN G SE R IO U S’: Four Wednesdays, May 3, 10, 17 and 24. W omen’s Small Business Program, Trinity College, Burlington. $115, grants available. Info, 846-7160. Explore the possibilities and realities o f business ownership, assess your skills a nd interests and develop a business idea.

co o k in g ‘A N T I-A G IN G E A T IN G ’: Monday, May 8, 6:30 p.m. and Tuesday, May 9, 9:30 a.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Cook to prevent aging by learning about antioxi dants and flee radicals. ”

‘D ISH E S W IT H FISHES’: Wednes day and Thursday, May 10 and 11, 9:30 a.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Learn how to buy a nd prepare nutritious fish. ‘T H E JO Y O F SOY’: M onday and Tuesday, May 15 and 16, 9:30 a.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Incorporate soy into your diet to reduce risk o f cancer and heart disease. ‘T H R IL L IN G G R IL L IN G ’: Monday, May 22, 6:30 p.m., Tuesday, May 23, 9:30 a.m. and Wednesdays, May 24, 6:30 p.m. Vermont Cooking School, Charlotte. Info, 425-4292. Grill to make flavorful, low-fat meals — you’ll grill a meal in this class, rain or shine.

craft ‘H A IR W RA PS’: Saturday, May 13, 34:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Bookstore, 125 S. W inooski Ave., Burlington. $3. Info, 660-8060. Use hemp, beads and bells to decorate your hair. ‘R U STIC FU R N ISH IN G S’: Six Saturdays, May 13 and 20, June 10 and 17 and July 1 and 8, 9 a.m. noon. M ount Abraham High School, Bristol. $40. Register, 453-5885 .Jim Cunningham introduces methods o f working with fo u n d wood to create Jurniture. PA IN T IN G CERAMICS: Ongoing classes. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-0102. Learn the fundamentals o f painting ceramics. PO TT E R Y & SCU LPTU RE: All ages and abilities, group classes, private lessons, studio rental. Day, evening and weekend offerings. Vermont Clay Studio, 2802 Rt. 100, W aterbury Center. Register, 224-1126 ext. 41. Enjoy the pleasures and challenges o f working with clay, whether you’ve had a lot, a little or no experience. PO TTERY, PA IN T IN G A N D P H O TOGRA PHY : M orning and evening classes, Saturday workshops and par ent-child classes. Frog Hollow State Craft Center, Middlebury, Info, 3883 1 7 7 o r www.froghollow.org. Take classes in calligraphy and collage. POTTERY: Beginner and Interm ediate classes for adults and children. River Street Potters, 141 River St., Montpelier. Info, 224-7000. Discover your creativity through classes in hand building and working with the wheel.

d an ce ‘B E G IN N IN G BALLROOM SAM PLER’: Wednesdays through May 31, 7-8 p.m. Swing Etc. at City Hall, Sr. Albans. $10/class. Register, 524-1519. D avid Larson teaches fox-trot, waltz, tango, cha-cha, rumba and salsa. A R G E N T IN E TANG O: Saturday, May 6 . Tango Waltz noon - 1:30 p.m., Tango 1:45-3:15 p.m., Milonga 3:30-5 p.m. Jazzercise, W illiston. $20/workshop or $45/three. Info, 879-3998 or mkiey@aol.com. Lyne R enaudand Marco Caridi teach tango waltz, milon ga and straight tango techniques. ‘IN T R O LATIN SAM PLER’: O ngoing Mondays through May 8, 78:30 p.m. Swing Etc. at Twin Oaks Fitness Center, Kennedy Dr., S. Burlington. $10/class. Info, 864-7953. Learn a different dance in each class, from merengue and salsa to rumba and bolero. BALLROOM REFRESHER: Interm ediate and Advanced. Ongoing Thursdays through May 18, 7-8 p.m. Swing Etc. at Jazzercise, W illiston. $12/class. D avid Larson helps you brush up on your fox-trot, waltz, tango, chacha, rumba and salsa. SW IN G : Classes beginning Sunday, May 14. Burlington. $40/person. Info, 862-9033. Learn Hollywood-style swing in this six-week series. CUBA N-STYLE SALSA: Four Tuesdays, May 16 through June 6 , 7-8

p.m. Swing Etc. at Memorial Auditorium Annex, Burlington. $35. Register, 864-7953. Get ready fo r the Discover Jazz Latin Block Party in June.

feldenkrais® AWARENESS T H R O U G H M O V E M EN T": Spring classes and work shops. Mondays, 7:30-8:30 p.m. 35 King St., Burlington. Fridays, 9-10 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 434-5065. Enhance coordination, flexi bility, strength and awareness with the guided movement sequences o f Feldenkrais®.

health ‘IS M ENTAL ILLNESS A DIS EASE?’: Friday, May 5, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. H am pton Inn, Colchester. Register, 985-8286 or carynbf@aol.com. Dr. Thomas Szasz, author o/T h e Myth of Mental Illness, presents this workshop.

herbs ‘PRIN CIPLES & PH IL O SO PH Y O F AYURVEDA’: Wednesday, May 10, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Main St., Burlington. $25. Info, 865-HERB. Learn basic Ayurvedic principles for healing and rejuvenation by accessing subconscious memories o f health and well-being.

ju g g lin g JU G G L IN G CLUB: Ongoing Mondays, 5-7 p.m. Basement of Memorial Auditorium, Burlington. Free. Info, 863-4969. Beginner-toexpert jugglers and unicyclists convene.

kendo K EN D O : Ongoing Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren Town Hall. Donations. Info, 496-4669. Develop focus, control and power through this Japanese samurai sword-fencing martial art.

k id s O P E N ST U D IO : Saturday, May 13, 10 a.m. - noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, 135 C hurch St., Burlington. $10. Register, 865-7166. Heather Ward helps six- to 10-year-olds explore special projects in media oj their choosing.

lan g u ag e ITALIAN: Group and individual instruction, beginner to advanced, all ages. M iddlebury area. Info, 545-2676. Immerse yourself in Italian to get ready fo r a trip abroad, or to better enjoy the country’s music, art and cuisine. ITALIAN: O ngoing individual and group classes, beginner to advanced, adults and children. Burlington. Info, 865-4795. Learn to speak this beautiful language from a native speaker and expe rienced teacher. ESL: O ngoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

m a ssa g e MASSAGE: Fall enrollm ent is under way. Touchstone Healing Arts School o f Massage, 35 King St., Burlington. Info, 658-7715. Take classes to become a massage practitioner. F O O T REFLEXOLOGY: O ngoing classes. S. Burlington Yoga Studio, Barrett St. Info, 658-3766. Learn this fu n and easy form o f acu-pressure foot massage from a certified reflexologist.

m editation RETREAT W IT H PEMA C H O D R O N : Six Tuesdays, May 9 through June 13, 7 p.m. and Sunday, June 4, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Montpelier Shambhala Center, 64 Main St. $75. Register, 229-1253. Engage in daily

Clim bing Center, 105 Briggs St., Burlington. $40-60 private lessons. Register, 65-PETRA. Develop strength, flexibility and balance through indoor rock climbing. SKYDIVING: O ngoing classes. Vermont Skydiving Adventures, Addison. Info, 759-3483. Experience “static line, ” tandem and accelerated freefall jumps.

meditation practice and see videotaped talks on the “Buddhist path o f the three Yanas” with Pema Chodron. ZEN M E D IT A T IO N : Mondays, 4:45-5:45 p.m., Thursdays, 5:30-6:30 p.m. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-6466. Meditate with a sitting group associated with the Zen Affiliate o f Vermont. ‘T H E WAY O F T H E SU FI’: Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and movement. M ED IT A T IO N : First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. W inooski Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations. M ED IT A T IO N : Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Green M ountain Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203, W illiston. Free. Info, 872-3797. Don’t ju st do something, sit there! G U ID E D M ED IT A T IO N : Sundays, 10:30 a.m. T he Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Com mons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation fo r relaxation and focus.

support groups A L C O H O L IC S A N O N Y M O U S: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 658-4221. Want to overcome a drinking problem ? Take the first step — o f 12 — and join a group in your area. A L C O H O L IC S A N O N Y M O U S: O ngoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First Congregational Church, N . W inooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 6556512. Do you have a frien d or relative with an alcohol problem? Alcoholics Anonymous can help. N A R C O T IC S A N O N Y M O U S: O ngoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, 862-4516. I f you’re ready to stop using drugs, this group o f recovering addicts can offer inspiration. OVEREATERS A N O N Y M O U S: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 863-2655. Overeaters meet fo r support around fo o d and health issues. PARTNERS A N D FR IE N D S O F SURVIVORS: G roup forming. Info, 655-4907. Partners andfriends o f child hood abuse survivors share struggles and successes with peers. PSYCH IA TRIC S U P P O R T G R O U P: Thursdays, 7 p.m. Various Burlington locations. Free. Info, 2881006. Get peer support fo r depression, anxiety or other psychiatric illness. SEX A N D LOVE A D D IC T S A N O N Y M O U S: Sundays, 7 p.m. Free. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, Burlington, 05402. Get help through this weekly 12-step program. VT. RESOLVE IN FER T IL ITY SU P P O R T G R O U P: Wednesday, May 3, 6-8 p.m. New England Federal Credit Union, Taft Corner, W illiston. Info, 657-2542. Talk with others about infer tility issues.

men ‘M EN ALIVE’: Spring retreat. Friday through Sunday, May 19 through 21. Info, 865-2247 or 482-6438. This sup port group allows men to be heard in a safe and supportive environment.

pets D O G O B E D IE N C E CLASSES: O ngoing classes for puppies, beginners and advanced beginners. Pawsitive Touch, 27 Berard Dr., S. Burlington. Info, 863-5651. Strengthen your rela tionship with your dog and learn how to speak canine in a non-competitive atmos phere.

photography IN S T R U C T IO N : Classes, workshops and private instruction, week-long sum m er day camps for young people. Info, 372-3104. Take classes in creative and technical camera and darkroom skills while learning to “see” with a pho tographic eye.

se lf-d e fe n se BRAZILIAN JIU -JIT SU A N D CARD IO B O X IN G : O ngoing classes for men, women and children, M onday through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Info, 660-4072. Escape fear with an integrated self-defense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

w e ig h t-lo ss ‘SLIM IN T O SU M M E R ’: Twelve Mondays, May 1 through July 17, 5:30-7 p.m. Burlington. $20/day. Info, 658-9553 o r www.claudiamullin.com. Focus on reducing compulsive eating while improving your body image.

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‘BELTANE RITUAL’: Saturday, May 6, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. W inooski Ave., Burlington. $9. Info, 660-8060. Celebrate “Beltane”and the sensuality o f the Earth. ‘AURA P H O T O G R A P H Y ’: Saturday, May 6 , 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. W inooski Ave., Burlington. $25. Info, 660-8060. Gain awareness o f your “energy field. ” ‘R E B IR T H IN G W O R K S H O P ’: Four Sundays, May 7 and 21 and June 4 and 18, noon - 3 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. W inooski Ave., Burlington. $30. Info, 660-8060. Improve your mental clarity, inner peace and emotional insight through “connect ed breathing. ” ‘H EA LIN G T H E IN N E R C H IL D ’: Sunday, May 2 1 , 10:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. Rising Sun, 35 King St., Burlington. $55. Register, 860-7286. Heal your inner child through hypnotherapy, regres sion, creative expression and the “Emotional Freedom Technique. ”

W IN E T A ST IN G CLASS: Friday, May 5, 6:30-7:30 p.m. W ine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington. $20. Info, 951-W IN E. Learn about Sauvignon Blanc, the “wild grape. ”

yoga S. B U R L IN G T O N YOGA: Ongoing Classes. Barrett St., S. Burlington. Info, 658-3766. Focus on stretching, breathing, relaxation and centering with Hatha yoga. U N IO N S T R E E T S T U D IO : Daily classes for all levels. 306 S. U nion St., Burlington. Info, 860-3991. Practice Astanga, Kali Ray a nd Kripalu styles with certified instructors A nn Burdreski, Arlene Griffin a n d Lisa Limoge. YM CA YOGA: O ngoing classes. YMCA, College St., Burlington. Info, 862-9622. Take classes in various yoga styles. YOGA V E R M O N T : Daily classes, noon, 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718 or yogavermont.com. Astanga-style “p ower”yoga classes offer sweaty Jim fo r all levels o f experience. ®

sport R O C K CLIM B IN G : Daily classes, beginner to advanced. Petra Cliffs

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T a k e a su m m e r co u rse for re lice n sin g cre d it or w o rk to w ard a M aste r o f A rts d e g re e in E d u ca tio n or C o u n s e lin g . Graduate courses available Summer 2000: CSL500A Counseling Theories CSL514A Counseling and Addictive Behaviors CSL515A Family Counseling CSL516A Psychopathology CSL 518A Legal and Ethical Issues CSL525A Sociodrama for Teachers and Counselors CSL530A Developmental Theories &Techniques 1 CSL613A Language of Astrology CSL614A Death,Dying,and Grieving

6/26-7/7 6/1-6/4

8-11:45 a.m. IWF*

8/17-8/20 IWF* 5/30-6/9 8-11:45 a.m. 7/29 &30- 8/12 & 13 IWF* 7/27-7/30 IWF* 1-4:45 p.m.

6/12-6/23 6/22-6/25

8-11:45 a.m. IWF*

For

a b o u t th e se a n d o th e r

EDU511A Learning Theory in Education 7/24-7/28 8 a.m.-5 p.m. co u rse s, EDU 514A Special Education Law& 7/10-7/14 8a.m.-5p.m. Models of Intervention co n ta ct EDU 518A Foundations and Issues 7/17-7/21 8a.m.-5p.m. EDU 520A Technology for the C a t h y H ig l e y 7/S-7/9 830am-3:45 pm Music Educator in th e EDU520B The Inquiry Based, 7/10-7/21 8 a.m.-Noon | Data-Driven Classroom G ra d u a te EDU 522A Organization and Structure 6/19-6/23 8 a.m.-5 p.m. | of the Middle School O f f ic e . EDU 536A Special Education Methods 7/17-7/21 8a.m.-5p.m. 1 &Materials t , EDU548XALiteracy Development in 6/26-6/30 8 a.m.-5 p.m. 1J o h n s o n S t a t e the Content Areas C o lle g e EDU 606A Creativity and Creative 6/26-7/7 8a.m.-Noon Problem Solving EDU 607A Instruction and Curriculum 6/9-11, 6/16-18 IWF* ofthe Middle School EDU 633A Critical Issues in Reading 713-7/7 8 a.m.-5 p.m. EDU 673A Social and Emotional 6/26-7/7 1-5 p.m. Jo h n s o n ja m e m Components of Giftedness

802/635-1244 STATE C O L L E G E

*IWF = Intensive Weekend Format

dance ‘MY T U R N ’: This choreography by local dance artist Sheriefs Gamble is a work in progress. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7165.

drama ‘T H E DIARY O F A N N E FRANK’: See May 5, 9:30 a.m. & 1 p.m.

•

in f o r m a t io n

5/30-6/9

CHAM PLAIN ECHOES: Harmonious women compare notes at a weekly rehearsal o f the all-female bar bershop chorus. The Pines, Dorset St., S. Burlington, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-5900.

JO H N S O N , YIR.YIO N T

WithSewnDaysPERSONALS, theonlyhardpartisdeciding what tomakeherfor dinner.

art • See exhibit openings in the art list ings.

kids ‘N E W T O NATURE’: Parent-accom panied preschoolers learn how to use all five senses in exploring the natural world. Montshire Museum, Norwich, 9:30-11 a.m. $17 for adult and child together. Register, 649-2200.

etc ‘A D O PT A T H O N ’: See May 7. W ORKER’S RIGH TS: Employees facing discrimination, unsafe working conditions, insurance problems and other labor issues get help from an advocate at the Workers Rights Center, Burlington City Hall, 4:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7184. N E T W O R K IN G GRO UP: Employee hopefuls get job leads, connections, skills and support. Career Resource Center, Vermont Departm ent o f Employment & Training, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 652-0322.

PUBLIC M EDITATION: Take a step on the path to enlightenment in an environment that instructs beginners and supports practiced thinkers. Ratna Shri Tibetan Meditation Center, 12 Hillside Ave., Montpelier, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5435. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU PPO RT GRO UP: Women Helping Battered W omen facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996.

9 tu e s d a y

music

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” A C O U STIC JAM: Unplug and unwind during a musical evening at the Daily Bread Bakery, Richmond, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-4606. SALLY PINKAS: The college pianistin-residence plays Beethovens TwentyFour Variations on Righini’s Arietta “Venni Amore”and works by Bach and Chopin. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $12.50. Info, 603-646-2422.

dance SC O TT ISH CO U N TRY DANCE: Bring soft-soled shoes to this wee week ly event, where partners and kilts are both optional. First Congregational Church of Essex Junction, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $4. Info, 879-7618.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. JAPANESE ART LECTURE: University of Massachusetts art prof Victoria Weston speaks about Japanese literati painting. Hood Museum of Art,

Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2808.

words ROGER SHATTUCK: The National Book Award-winner reads from and discusses his newest book, Proust’s Way: A Field Guide to In Search o f Lost Time. See “to do” list, this issue. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774. BURLING TO N W RITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gath ering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9647. FIC T IO N W O RK SH O P: Writer John Rubins leads a discussion of Sinking House, byT.C. Boyle, as well as works in progress by the groups aspir ing authors. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. ‘FRIENDS O F FREEDOM ’: Ray Zirblis separates fact from folklore in a discussion of Vermont’s Underground Railroad. Rutland Free Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 747-0243.

kids STORYTIME: See May 3, 10 a.m. & 1 p.m. ‘M USIC W IT H ROBERT AND G IG I’: See May 5.

sport W O M E N ’S RUGBY PRACTICE: See May 4.

etc BIRD WALK: See May 6, 6:30-8:30 a.m. CAGED BIRD TALK: The Green Mountain Caged Bird Club brings owners of feathered friends together. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

agam ala Music & D ance Theater "From Temple to Theatre'' The beauty and mystery of India's bharatanatyam dance seen in a new way! FRIDAY, MAY 5 ~ 8 PM The Paramount Center Tickets and Information ~ Crossroads Arts Council 24 HOUR BOX OFFICE (8 0 2 ) 775-5413

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IMPROVISATION The Jazz of Theatre Learn to improvise. You’ll use the best technique ever developed to create comedy and drama. You’ll stretch your im agination, build confidence and poise. It’s easy, and it’s incredible fun. My nam e is Nancy Ponder. Come work with me. I’m a former partner of Jerry Stiller, Mike Nichols. A lan A rk in ... W eekly classes 7 to 9 pm. begin in May. and are given in ten week blocks. The fee is $10 per class.

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B o r d e r s m o m e n t n o . 09 ‘CARING FO R T H E LAND’:

Middlebury College landscaper Mike Ade discusses his efforts to curb the use of chemicals on campus. The question of native versus exotic plants is also cov ered. Coach Barn, Shelburne Farms, 7 9 p.m. Free. Register, 443-5043. ETH A N ALLEN IN STIT U T E:

Make Lemonade by Virginia Wolff.

drama May 4.

CELEBRITY SPELLING BEE: Radio

FREN CH CON VERSATION GROUP: Freshen up your French,

with a Quebecois accent, in this infor mal social cercle at Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 660-9823.

W ATERFRONT HISTORY LEC TURE: A multi-projector slide show

surrounds spectators with sights of two centuries of waterfront history. Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7999. CHAM BER MIXER: Meet and mix with other local business types at a chamber-sponsored schmooze fest. Sunset Ballroom, Holiday Inn Express, S. Burlington, 5:30-7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 863-3489.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See May 3.

M EDICAL HISTO RY LECTURE:

Historians Linda Peavy and Ursula Smith discuss the folk medicine prac ticed by frontierswomen in a lecture entitled, “I Have Doctored Myself as Well as I Could.” Carpenter Carse Library, Hinesburg, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 482-2878.

words S H O R T FIC T IO N READING: Jason

Walsh reads from his writings at the Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 985-2314. READING DISCUSSION: Merilyn Burrington considers the The Courage to Raise G ood M en , as part of the “Fathers and Families” reading series. S. Burlington Community Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. ‘CRIM E A N D PU N IS H M E N T ’: A discussion of Dostoyevsky begs the question: What is a crime and who decides on its appropriate punishment? Milton Public Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

FATHERS A N D CH ILD REN T O G ETH ER : Dads and kids spend

quality time together during a weekly meeting at the Wheeler Community School, Burlington, 5-7 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. BATTERED W O M E N ’S SU PPO RT GROUP: Battered Women Services

and Shelter facilitates a group in Mont pelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0855. OVEREATERS ANONY M OU S:

Addicted to eating? Food abuse is on the table at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2655. Newcomers meet at 6 p.m.

Parents of prospective students get a look inside the classroom. Lake Champ lain Waldorf School, Shelburne. 8:1511:30 a.m. Free. Register, 888-2828.

music

Saturday, May 6 at 1 :30pm.

follows an open discussion. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Speaker, 7:30. Free. Info, 865-7225.

BORDERS

A T T EN TIO N D E FIC IT M EETIN G:

Children and adults with this neurobiological disorder find support and infor mation at the Austin Auditorium, Fletcher Allen Health Care, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 651-7615. ®

in Vermont are improperly installed. Get an expert check-up by appoint ment at the bus barns, N. Winooski Ave., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Register, 860-4313. PARENT-CHILD BO O K GROUP:

Grown-up readers and their 11- to 13year-old kids get on the same page of

• See listings in “Sound Advice.”

The Co-op Cookbook

ALTERNATIVE HEALTH DISCUS SIO N GROUP: A lecture about health

kids

W ednesday well

Rosemary F ifie ld Education Director, Co-op Food Stores discusses and signs

W ALDORF OBSERVATION DAY:

SO N G & STORYTIME: See May 3. C H IL D SAFETY SEAT INSPEC TIO N S: Ninety percent of child seats

1 0

Calendar is written by Gwenn Garland. Classes are compiled by Lucy Howe. All submissions are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style. Send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. Or fax 8 0 2 - 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5. E m a i l : c al endar @s evendays vt . com

Burlington, 29 Church Street, 865-2711

^^V Q LU N T F E R X

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w a te r fr o n t

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F A L L & W fN T F R J Are you concerned about the lake? Do you like to work with kids and families?

G r a n it e * B a s a l t * W o o d Photographs fr o m the A m erican SouthW est, The Bay ofF undy, a n d the W inooski R iver

------ ----- ,

personality and coach Tom Brennan hosts a spell check for local luminaries. Proceeds benefit scholarship and single parent programs. Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 7 p.m. $15. Info, 372-4891.

‘SW EET A N D L O W D O W N ’: Sean

Penn plays an under-appreciated Depression-era guitarist in the latest from Woody Allen. Spaulding Audit orium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

Former senator John McClaughry makes a case for “Vermont Health Care in Crisis.” Jericho East Restaurant, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 695-1448.

H o w c o u ld s o m e th in g t h a t t a k e s l e s s t h a n 1/ 2- h o u r t o p r e p a r e , ta s te so yum m y, a n d b e s o g o o d f o r y o u ? *.

Deerleap Books, Bristol, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

‘W IT ’: See May 4, $20. ‘C A U G H T IN T H E A C T ’: See

By T om B rennan

Please join us for an OPENING RECEPTION 6-8

p m

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The Lake Champlain Basin Science Center is seeking enthusiastic volunteers for our school year season, mid-June through mid-September. New volunteer training starts soon! Call Rachel Jolly at 864-1848 today.

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ACROSS THE CONTINENT Photographer Tom Brennan makes the most o f geography with black-andwhite photos — some o f them mighty big — from the American Southwest, the Bay o f Fundy and, closer to home, the Winooski River. The “Granite, Basalt, Wood”tour commences with a reception at Artspace 150, the Mens

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page 38

SEVEN DAYS

may 3, 2000

U p s t a ir s

c a ll

a r tis ts

Artists are invited to submit slides lor the 2000 “Envisioned in a Pastoral Setting” exhibit and sale beginning September 23 at Shelburne Farms. Deadline: June 12. Call 985-8686 for more info. o p e n i n g s 2ND ANNUAL H0M ESCH00LERS’ ART & TALENT SHOW, featuring the work of local children. Rose St. Gallery, Burlington, 862-3654. Opening May 4, 5 p.m. ART TROLLEY, a free trolley tour that loops by 12 local galleries, leaving from the Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7166. May 5, 5-8 p.m. NEW PAINTINGS by Peter Arvidon. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Reception May 5, 6-8 p.m. RETRIEVAL, recent paintings by Crystal Peck. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 863-1512. Reception May 5, 5-8 p.m. GRANITE BASALT WOOD, pho tographs of the American South west, the Bay of Fundy and the Winooski River by UVM art prof Tom Brennan. ArtSpace 150 at the Men’s Room, Burlington, 8642088. Reception May 5, 6-8 p.m. THE WYLDE WOMEN, a Virgin art exhibit” by Dee Christie, Joy Cohen, Libby Ingalls, Hollie Ingalls and Kathleen Redman. Brownell Library, Essex Junction, 878-6955. Reception May 5, 6:30-8 p.m. WOMEN’S WORK PROJECT, including 70 stores exhibiting the work of central Vermont artists. Sites around Montpelier, Barre, Waterbury and Northfield, 2296202. Reception at City Center, Montpelier, May 5, 5-7 p.m. PERSONAL LANDSCAPES, studioart quilts by Alicia Lorenzo. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 2290522. Reception May 5, 5-7 p.m.

SANDRA HELLER BISSEX, sumi brushwork/collage, part of the Women’s Work Project. Sacred Space Gallery, Christ Church, Montpelier, 454-4635. Reception May 5, 5-7 p.m. CELEBRATING MAY, featuring art work by people involved in the state’s mental health field. City Hall, Montpelier, 223-0924. Reception May 5, 5-7 p.m. ART IN THE SUPREME COURT, Mexican pastels by Sam Kerson. Supreme Court, Montpelier, 8283278. Reception May 5, 5-7 p.m. FOUR HONDURAN ARTISTS, fea turing the works of Mario Castillo, Virgilio Guardiola, Rolando Trochez and Xenia Mejia. Chaffee Center for the Arts, Rutland, 7750356. Reception May 5, 5-7 p.m. SALLY GOES TO THE BEACH: Artist/author Stephen Huneck signs copies of his new book; prints from Sally also on exhibit. Frog Hollow, Burlington, 8636458. Book signing reception May 6, 1-3 p.m. ERNIE HAAS, paintings of Lake Champlain and Vermont land scapes, and JERRY GEIER, terra cotta sculptures. Blue Heron Gallery, S. Burlington, 863-1866. Reception May 6, 4-6 p.m. FAMILY DAY at the Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Activities noon - 5 p.m., May 6, with puppet theater, 2 p.m., Dance Academy 3 p.m. INGRID BATHE, new sculptures in porcelain clay. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Reception May 7, 3-5 p.m.

B U R LfiG T O M A R EA ROBERT BRUNELLE, recent oil paintings. Better Bagel, Williston, 879-2808. Through June. A MIXED BAG, featuring works in mixed-media by Dot Albelo. Cathedral Church of St. Paul, Burlington, 864-0471. Through May. IMAGES FROM THE AMERICAS, photography of Central and South America by Pete Shear and Jennifer Freedman. Burlington College Community Room, 8629616. Through May 8. HEAD START ART SHOW, works by local preschoolers. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Through May 7. KIDS CELEBRATE THE EARTH, children’s artworks that celebrate the Earth. Flynndog Gallery, Burlington, 652-9985. Through May 7. SENIOR STUDENT ART SHOW, a multi-media exhibit of works by high schoolers from the Champlain valley. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Through May 24. PETER CLAVELLE & BERNIE SANDERS, paintings of the local politicians by Melissa Connor, and a group portrait depicting artists and writers of Vermont. Red Square, Burlington, 862-1449. Through May 15. DIRTY DREAMS, works by stu dents of the center’s pottery and clay sculpture program. Living/Learning Center, UVM,

S even D ay s, B u rlin g to n , 8 6 4 -

featuring etchings and engravings by Thomas Waterman Wood. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 8288743. Through July 30. VERMONT HAND CRAFTERS: Work by local artisans. Vermont By Design Gallery, Waterbury, 244-7566. Ongoing. ALICE ECKLES, a permanent changing exhibit of selected paint ings and prints. The Old School House Common, Marshfield, 4568993. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS,

5 6 8 4 . T h r o u g h M a y 1 5.

f e a t u r in g r e - c o n s t r u c te d o b je c ts o f

JOAN CURTIS,

all k i n d s b y a re a a rtis ts . T h e

B u r l in g t o n , 6 5 6 - 4 2 0 0 . T h r o u g h M a y 4.

MICHAEL M0NTANAR0,

past and

p r e s e n t w o r k s in w a te r c o lo r , a c ry lic , p e n c il a n d m o r e . B e v e rly ’s C a f e , B u r l in g t o n , 8 6 2 - 5 5 1 5 . T h r o u g h M ay.

ASPARAGUS,

h a n d m a d e p rin ts b y

R o y N e w t o n . R e d O n i o n C a fe , B u r l in g t o n , 8 6 5 - 2 5 6 3 . T h r o u g h M ay 30.

HORSE LEGS,

a n in s ta lla tio n b y

T o m S h e a . O n e - W a l l G a lle ry ,

w o r k s in c o lo r e d

DAVID

p e n c il a n d a c ry lic , a n d

UTIGER,

p a in t i n g s . F u r c h g o t t

B y M arc A wodey

R e s to r e , M o n t p e li e r , 2 2 9 - 1 9 3 0 . O n g o in g .

S o u r d if f e G a lle ry , S h e l b u r n e , 9 8 5 3 8 4 8 . T h r o u g h M a y 9.

IT’S ABOUT TIME:

p ie c e s b y V e r m o n t a r tis a n s . F ro g

NORTHERN. PHALLUSY: THE MYTH OF MALE NESS, a n M F A th e s is e x h ib i t b y

C o n te m p o ra ry

a n d t r a d i t io n a l h a n d c r a f t e d t i m e

F lo llo w V e r m o n t S t a te C r a f t

S e a n F olley. J u lia n S c o tt M e m o r ia l

C e n te r , B u r l in g t o n , 8 6 3 - 6 4 5 8 .

G a lle ry , D i b d e n C e n te r , J o h n s o n

T h ro u g h M a y 7.

S ta te C o lle g e , 8 8 8 - 7 3 3 3 . T h r o u g h

WINTER FINALE,

r ic e p a p e r a n d

M a y 11.

w a t e r c o lo r w o r k s b y C e le s te

STOWE STUDENT ART EXHIBIT,

F o rc ie r. F in a le S a lo n , S.

w o r k s b y a re a e le m e n ta r y , m id d l e

B u r l in g t o n , 8 6 2 - 0 7 1 3 . T h r o u g h

a n d h i g h s c h o o l s t u d e n ts . H e le n D a y A r t C e n te r , S to w e , 2 5 3 - 8 3 5 8 .

M a y 15.

A WRITER’S VISION:

P r in ts , d r a w

T h ro u g h M ay 27.

in g s a n d w a t e r c o lo r s b y N o b e l

HOOKED IN THE MOUNTAINS,

P riz e -w in n in g w rite r G u n te r

e x h i b i t io n o f 2 5 0 h o o k e d ru g s.

G ra ss . F l e m i n g M u s e u m , U V M ,

J o s ly n R o u n d B a r n , W a its f ie ld ,

B u r l in g t o n , 6 5 6 - 0 7 5 0 . T h r o u g h

4 8 2 -2 7 2 0 . T h ro u g h M a y 7.

Ju n e 4.

SACRED BUFFALO,

ORNAMENT AND DEC0RATI0N/MATERIALS AND MOTIFS: A n e x h ib i t o f m u l t i - c u l

t o n c a r v e d w i t h s c e n e s f ro m

tu r a l, e v e r y d a y o b je c ts t h a t s h o w

2 3 7 2 . T h r o u g h A u g u s t.

th e o r ie s o f o r n a m e n t a t i o n a n d d e c o r a ti o n . F l e m i n g M u s e u m ,

19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS, i n c l u d i n g

a b u f f a lo s k e le

L a k o ta S io u x t r a d i t io n s . F a ir b a n k s M u s e u m , S t. J o h n s b u r y , 7 4 8 -

U V M , B u rlin g to n , 6 5 6 -0 7 5 0 .

l a n d s c a p e p a in t i n g s b y V e r m o n t

T h ro u g h Ju n e 4.

a r tis ts K a t h le e n K o lb , T h o m a s

RICK SUTTA,

C u r t i n , C y n t h i a P ric e a n d m o r e .

o il p a in t i n g s “w i t h

i m p a c t . ” R ic k S u t t a G a lle ry ,

C l a r k e G a lle r ie s , S to w e , 2 5 3 - 7 1 1 6 .

B u r l in g t o n , 8 6 0 - 7 5 0 6 . O n g o i n g .

O n g o in g .

C H A M P L A IN V A L L E Y SIGNALS AND MESSAGES: CELE BRATING 25 YEARS OF GRACE,

ELSEW HERE BILL HOPPER, p a in t i n g s .

f e a t u r in g th e w o r k s o f n i n e e ld e r

9 6 3 - 8 0 7 9 . T h r o u g h M ay .

a r tis ts in t h e G ra s s R o o ts A r t a n d C o m m u n ity E ffo rt p ro g ra m .

COMPLETING THE PICTURE: HATS, FASHION AND FINE ART,

V e r m o n t F o lk life C e n te r ,

p a in tin g s , p h o to g ra p h s a n d m a n

M id d le b u ry , 3 8 8 -4 9 6 4 . T h r o u g h

n e q u i n s f e a t u r in g m il l in e r y f a s h

A u g u s t 1 2.

io n s f r o m 1 8 2 0 - 1 9 3 0 . H o o d

PAPER OR PLASTIC,

p a in t i n g s

B e ld o n -

N o b l e L ib ra ry , E ssex , N .Y ., 5 1 8 -

M u s e u m o f A rt, D a r tm o u th

a n d ill u s t r a ti o n s b y S e a n S im s .

C o lle g e , H a n o v e r , N . H . , 6 0 3 - 6 4 6 -

F o u r D o g s a n d a W is h ,

2 8 0 8 . T h r o u g h S e p te m b e r 2 4 .

M id d le b u ry , 3 8 2 -9 4 7 4 . T h r o u g h

SCREENS & SCROLLS,

M ay .

p a in t i n g s f r o m th e 1 3 th t h r o u g h

ENVISIONING SPRING,

p a in t i n g s ,

d r a w in g s a n d p o t t e r y b y six lo ca l

Jap an ese

th e 1 9 t h c e n tu r y . H o o d M u s e u m o f A r t, D a r t m o u t h C o lle g e ,

a r tis ts . F e r r is b u r g h A r t i s a n s G u i l d ,

H a n o v er, N .H ., 6 0 3 -6 4 6 -2 8 0 8 .

8 7 7 - 3 6 6 8 . T h r o u g h M a y 17.

T h r o u g h J u n e 18.

TIME TO GET DRESSED,

GENEVIEVE CADIEUX,

c lo th in g

p h o to

a n d w e a r a b le a r t b y V e r m o n t f ib e r

g r a p h ic a n d a c o u s ti c i n s t a lla tio n s

a r tis ts D ia J e n k s , M a r y L y n n

a n d s c u l p tu r e s . M o n t r e a l M u s e u m

O ’S h e a , L y n n Y a r r in g to n a n d

o f F in e A r ts , J e a n - N o e l D e s m a ra is

E lle n S p r in g . F r o g H o l l o w

P a v ilio n , 5 1 4 - 2 8 5 - 1 6 0 0 . T h r o u g h

V e r m o n t S ta te C r a f t C e n te r ,

J u ly 2 . ®

M id d le b u ry , 3 8 8 -3 1 7 7 . T h r o u g h M a y 15.

CENTRAL V ERM O N T 19TH ANNUAL CONGRESSIONAL ART COMPETITION, f e a t u r in g th e w o r k s o f y o u n g V e r m o n te r s . T .W . W o o d A r t G a lle ry , V e r m o n t C o lle g e , M o n t p e li e r , 8 2 8 - 8 7 4 3 . ">: T h r o u g h M a y 15.

CLAY FOR & ABOUT THE GARDEN, p o t t e r y w o r k s . R iv e r S tr e e t P o tte r s G a lle ry , M o n t p e li e r , 2 2 4 -7 0 0 0 . T h r o u g h M ay.

19TH-CENTURY PRINTS FROM THE PERMANENT COLLECTION,

PLEASE NOTE: S e v e n D a y s is unable to accommodate all o f the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. A rt in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted. Send art listings to galleries@sevendaysvt.com. You can also view art listings at www.sevendaysvt.com.

here will be two buffaloes under one roof throughout the sum mer at the Fairbanks Museum in St. Johnsbury, and although both are the remains of creatures born into the same species, they appear to have been “harvested” by men of different worlds. O ne of these bisons is a masterpiece of taxidermy in a Victorian-era glass case, surrounded by other unlucky specimens — from a polar bear to a platypus — who surren dered their lives to science. The other buffalo owes its condition to faith. Liberated of flesh, its skeletal remains have been transfigured into an artis tic and spiritual statement, enti tled the “Sacred Buffalo,” by South Dakota artist James Durham . The skeleton slowly revolves clockwise on an elabo rate dais of blended woods — an intriguing accessory to the buffalo itself. In collaboration with a team of artists arid oth ers, Durham grooved delicate figurative repre sentations of the seven sacred rites of the Lakota people onto every bone, making it a cathedral of articulated scrimshaw. More than 17,000 hours were required to bring this mystical vision to life, and from the begin ning it appears to have been a joint effort. D urham says that during a sweat-lodge ceremony, his seven-year-old son dreamt of seeing him speak to a “magnificent buffalo.” A few years later Durham had a simi lar vision of that buffalo, as a skeleton carved with depictions of the seven sacred ceremonies. W hile carving wood, stone and bone are traditional m ani festations of Plains Indian art, the fine lines of scrimshaw are not. T hat technique apparently arrived with the clash of cul tures that decimated indigenous ways even as it introduced new materials and techniques to Lakota artists. For example, the 1870s-era “Dream Visions Ledger,” by Black Hawk of the Sans-arc Lakota, is a ledger book filled with traditional

Sacred Buffalo” in process ferent from other 19th-century Sioux artworks, but his figures are chunkier, and details such as trees and groups o f figures have more dimensionality. ' Symbolism is everything in this piece. T he massive, rotating dais portrays the four points o f the compass in a “medicine wheel,” made o f differently col ored wood from the living buf falos range. It was carved by Mike and Steve Riss. Seven eagle feathers separate each point o f the compass, and on each point is a medallion — light ning, buffalo, eagle, deer. The tones o f the woods coincide with the colors of quill bead covers on the buf falo hooves — red, black, yellow, white. Each cover is made o f seven beaded bracelets. T he abstract, symbolic elements com bined with the figurative content, and the underlying conceptual basis, of the “Sacred his scrimshaw images o f the Buffalo” make it the most sub stantial example o f contem po sacred ceremonies do have clear rary Native American art that Sioux origins. Angularity and viewers are likely to find any graceful curves often overlap in where in this region. A great the two-dimensional figurative deal o f supporting inform ation works o f Plains tribes, and this about Native American beliefs characteristic appears in the is available at the museum, profile o f the back o f the buffa lo spirit in the “Crying for a along w ith photographs o f details clarifying the w ork’s con Vision” segment near the buffa tent. This material is important* lo’s left rear leg. H atch marks for understanding the piece. represent stitched garments, drawn in a m anner almost iden W hen the spiritual leader o f the Oglala people* Jim m y Dubrey, tical to the way the Sioux war rior Kicking Bear portrayed . 7 said, “Anyone who appreciates .. this buffalo skeleton will be tipis in his 1898 story robe o f freely blessed,” he was not talk the battle o f Little Bighorn. The almost Thurber-esque faces in v: ing about the one in the mas sive glass case. ® , . D urham ’s images are not so dif

drawings in ink and colored pencil, probably captured in a raid on a military outpost. Just as brighter-colored glass beads replaced dyed and flat tened porcupine quills, watercolors and ink on paper replaced buffalo-hide “story robes” within a single genera tion, as Lakota culture and the buffalo it relied on were driven to the brink o f extinction. Although D urham is part Cherokee — and only “adopt ed” into the Lakota Sioux —

W N ile c a r v in g w o o d s to n e a n d b o n e a re

tr a d it io n a l m a n ife s ta tio n s o f P la in s In d ia n a rt, th e fin e lin e s o f s c rim s h a w a re n o t

“Sacred Buffalo,” carved in Lakota Sioux tradition by James Durham. Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury. Through August. 2 may 3, 2000

SEVEN DAYS ”

page 39

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TalKing duty almost 30 years to the day before. The Thin Red Lines Jim Caviezel plays the son. Dennis Quaid’s the long-lost father. The idea is, the city is gift-wrapped in a shimmering foil of northern lights on both ends of the 30-year timespan. There’s something about unusual sunspot activity, too. Anyway, Caviezel’s bummed because his relationship appears to be on the rocks. An old pal stops by to buck him up, and before you can say, “I can’t believe Steven Spielberg didn’t think of this,” the two have dusted off the old man’s beloved ham radio for yucks. Before long Caviezel is picking up a familiar voice — who also claims to have familiar call letters, a familiar address and a young son he calls by a very familiar nickname. RECYCLED Quaid plays a dad who comes back from Both father and son are incredulous the dead. at first, of course, but then it’s baseball to the rescue. As fate would have it, the FREQUENCY***172 ’69 World Series is taking place on Quaid’s end of the The weepie: It’s a genre with a long and mottled line and the son convinces him he’s really talking to tradition. Like any other, it is a movie form which him from the future by telling him in advance which may be approached with art and grace ( Terms o f amazing Met will perform what amazing feat before Endearment) or handled with quick-buck, by-theeach game gets underway. The end result: one truly numbers roteness (Here On Earth). amazed Met fan and a reunion so moving guys from There are weepies for moviegoers of every shape coast to coast will be hiding behind their Milk Duds. and size. Bambi and The Lion King&xz guaranteed to Lest you leap to the conclusion that Frequency is scar your toddler for life. Brutally killing off the par one long game of teary time-loop toss, let me hasten ents of furry little movie friends is a Disney hallmark. to grab a Kleenex, wipe my eyes and add that the Let’s face it, most weepies are chick-flicks, but, though story also packs a wild malice-through-the-lookingmodest in size, there is a guy department in the vast glass subplot that involves a series of gruesome, weepie warehouse. Speck-like serial murders and a mind-bending attempt The most famous, of course, is Field o f Dreams. to close in on the killer from two separate decades. Corny as it may be, the film’s combination of baseball This would be a better-than-average crime thriller and a dear departed dad — not to mention the idea even without all the time-warp head games. of dad coming back from the dead to play baseball By bringing the crime drama, the deliciously mys with you one more time — is guaranteed to make tifying time conundrums, the bonding game of base even the most hardened ex-Marine professional ball and the whole father-son thing all into play, wrestling enthusiast misty. In all the times I’ve Hoblit creates an engaging movie that pushes more watched it, I haven’t been able to finish the scene in buttons than a 10-year-old kid home sick with his which Kevin Costner plays catch with his back-fromGameboy. beyond-the-grave father without choking up. In fact, I hope the picture won’t be overlooked because it’s I’m starting to sniffle and well up just writing this, so not as sexy and flashy as, say, The Matrix. The ideas I’m going to start a new paragraph. here are every bit as juicy, the story every bit as roller There. That’s better. Except now I’m welling up coaster-ride fun. Also, it’s nice to see Dennis Quaid in just thinking about Frequency. The latest from something that didn’t go straight to video. He’s too Gregory (Primal Fear) Hoblit, the film does what I’m fine a screen presence to be banished wherever he’s surprised more movies haven’t tried to do, namely, been for most of the past decade. Though I suppose push the same buttons that Field o f Dreams did in being married to Meg Ryan could keep a guy close to male audience members. The picture is a loopy yet home. surprisingly satisfying funhouse ride about a presentFather’s Day is just around the corner. My sugges day New York cop who hauls out his dad’s old ham tion: If your dad is still alive, see this with him. If he’s radio one night and picks up the old boy himself. not, see it anyway. But don’t forget the Milk Duds. Which might not be quite so hard to swallow if the And you’d better get a large. ® guy hadn’t been a fireman who died in the line of

F IL M S S T A R T F R ID A Y , M A Y 5 showtimes

All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. *lndicates new film. N IC K E L O D E O N C IN E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. I Dreamed of Africa* 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9. Gladiator* 12:15, 3:50, 7, 10:10. Love and Basketball* 1, 4:10, 7:15, 9:50. Where the Heart Is 1, 3.-40, 6:50, 9:20. High Fidelity 1:15, 4:20, 7:20, 9:40. Erin Brockovich 12:45, 4, 6:40, 9:30. Matinees Sat-Sun only. C IN E M A N IN E Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610. Gladiator* 11:30 (Fri-Sun only), 12:15, 3, 3:45, 6:15, 7, 9:30, 10:10. The Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas 12:05, 2:30, 4:50, 7:05, 9:15. U571 12, 2:20, 4:40 (Fri-S’un only), 7:10, 9:45. Where the Heart Is 12:40, 3:30, 6:50, 9:35. Frequency 12:50, 4, 6:45, 9:25. 28 Days 7:15, 9:50. Keeping the Faith 12:30, 3:20, 6:40, 9:40. Road to El Dorado 12:10, 2:15, 4:30. Erin Brockovich 12:20, 3:10, 6:30, 9:20. All shows daily unless otherwise indi cated. S H O W C A S E C IN E M A S 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. The Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas 12:10, 2:20, 4:30, 7:10, 9:15. Frequency 12:30, 3:30, 7, 9:35. Return to Me 9:15. Rules of Engagement 12:20, 3:10, 6:40, 9:20. U-571 12:40, 3:20, 6:50, 9:25. The Road to El Dorado 12, 2, 4:15. Matinees Sat-Sun only. W ILLISTON Taft Corners

■,873-fifiW.

page 4 0

' SEVEN DAYS

BARRE Main Street 476-7446

ST. A LB A N S H ig h gate Com m ons 527-0532 '

may 3, 2000

weekly

listings

E T H A N A L L E N C IN E M A S 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. The Whole Nine Yards 5:15, 9:15. The Ninth Gate 12:45, 4, 7, 9:30. American Beauty 1, 3:10, 5:30, 7:45, 10. Drowning Mona 12:30, 6:45. Toy Story 2' 1:15,3:20,7:15. The Green Mile 2:30, 8:45. Matinees Sat-Sun only. B IJO U C I N E P L E X 1 -2 -3 -4 Rt. 100, Morrqyille, 888-3293. Gladiator* 1:20, 3:40, 6:50, 9:15. Keeping the Faith 1:20, 3:50, 7:10, 9:20. The Flintstones: Viva Rock Vegas 1:10, 3:20, 6:40, 8:30. Frequency 1, 3:30, 7, 9:10. Matinees Sat.-Sun. only, late show Fri.-Sat. only. T H E SA VO Y Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. The Cup 6:30, 8:30. Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time.

C A P IT O L T H E A T R E 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343. P A R A M O U N T T H E A T R E 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621. STO W E C IN E M A Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678. M AD R IV E R F L I C K Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200. M A R Q U IS T H E A T E R Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841. W E L D E N T H E A T E R 104 No. Main Street, St. Albans, 527-7888.

www.sevendaysvt.com

the hoyts cin em as

FiLMQuIZ cosponsored by Lippa’s Jewelers

p r e v ie w s GLADIATOR Ridley Scott directs this $100 million epic about a Roman general betrayed and sent into exile as a slave. Russell Crowe, Oliver Reed (in his last role) and Joaquin Phoenix star. (R) I DREAMED OF AFRICA Kim Basinger is back in action for the first time since w inning her L.A. Confidential Oscar, and the action includes everything from elephants to killer snakes. Hugh Hudson directs the true story of wildlife activist Kuki Gallm ann. W ith Vincent Perez and Liam Aiken. (PG-13) LOVE AND B A SKETB A LL From first-time director Gina Prince comes this rom antic comedy

e h

rte

S n 0 Its

about two childhood sweethearts who grow up to become stars on rival basketball teams. Sanaa Lathan and O m ar Epps star. (PG-13)

n e w o n v id e o DOGMA* * 172 Clerks director Kevin Smith stirred up the usual hysteria am ong the religious right with this comedy. Ben Affleck and M att Dam on play angels who come to Earth and then try to scam their way back into heaven. Filmmaker Terrence M cNally received at least one death threat. (R) BEING JOHN MALKOVICH**** Music video director Spike Jonze makes his big-screen debut with this odd-a-thon about a guy (John Cusack) who discovers a portal that transports him into

the brain of the actor John Malkovich. W ith Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener and — sur prise! — John Malkovich. (R) ANYWHERE BUT H ERE**172 Wayne ( The Joy Luck Club) Wang directs this big-screen ver sion of M ona Simpson’s 1986 bestseller. Susan Sarandon and Natalie Portman star as a Wisconsin mother and daughter who start a new life in L.A. (PG13) GALAXY QUEST***172 Tim Allen and Sigourney Weaver play has-been stars of a ’70s sci-fi series who get the call for real when an alien race in need of help looks Earthward. Alan Rickman and Tony Shalhoub costar. (PG)

* = REFUND P L E A S E ** = COULD’VE BEEN W ORSE, BU T NOT A LOT *** = HAS ITS M OM ENTS; **** = SM A R TE R THAN TH E AVERAGE BEAR ***** = A S GOOD A S IT GETS

and cowritten by Jonathan {Breakdown) Mostow, this effects-stuffed WWTI adventure concerns the plight o f nine American soldiers who board a German sub to steal a spy device and then find themselves trapped on it, w ith a U -boat on its way to rescue them . W ith M atthew M cConaughey, Harvey Keitel, Jon Bon Jovi and Bill Paxton. (PG-13) THE FLINTSTO N ES IN VIVA ROCK VEGAS* M ark Addy and Stephen Baldwin star in this pre quel to 19 9 4 ’s The Flintstones, and portray Fred and Barney in their formative dating years. Brian Levant directs. (PG) THE CU P**** If the directorial debut o f Khyentse N orbhu is half as good as its tag line, it is an impressive feat indeed. T he filmmaker docum ents the fever which grips a group o f Tibetan monks living in the Himalayan foothills as the W orld C up takes place. T he line: “B uddhism is their philosophy. Soccer is their religion.” (G)

WHERE THE HEART IS**172 U h-oh — O prah alert! Natalie Portm an plays a young m other making her spunky way in the world in M att W illiam s’ bigscreen version o f the W infreysanctioned bestseller by Billie Letts. Ashley Judd and Sally Field costar. (PG-13)

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT***172 W illiam Friedkin directs this military courtroom dram a in which Samuel L. Jackson plays a M arine involved in a mission gone awry and Tom m y Lee Jones costars as the old war buddy w ho comes to his legal defense. Ben Kingsley costars. (R) 28 DAYS**172 Sandra Bullock plays a boozehound w riter w ho

lands in rehab and bonds with the wacky characters she meets there. Elizabeth Perkins and Diane Ladd costar. Betty {Private Parts) Thom as directs. (PG-13) KEEPING THE FAITH***172 Ed N orton makes his directorial debut with, and costars in, this comedy about two men o f the cloth who worship the ground Jenna Elfman walks on. Ben Stiller costars. (PG-13) THE ROAD TO EL DORADO*** Elton John is writing tunes for ’toons again. This time around, he sings us through the saga of two 16th-century con men who discover a Latin-American Shangri-la. Featuring the voices o f Kevin Kline and Kenneth Branagh. (PG) HIGH FIDELITY***172 Stephen ( The Grifiters) Frears and John Cusack reteam for the big-screen version o f N ick H ornby’s best selling novel about a thirtysome thing music geek. Sara Gilbert and Iben Hjejle costar. (R) RETURN TO ME*** Bonnie H u n t directs and costars in this weeper about a widower (David Duchovny) w ho winds up dat ing the recipient o f his dead wife’s heart! Sounds Xtra iffy to us. (R) ERIN BR0CK0VICH**** Julia Roberts flexes her dramatic mus cles in this fact-based saga about a struggling single m other who worked for a law firm and w ound up helping California plaintiffs win a m ulti-milliondollar settlem ent o f water conta m ination claims against Pacific Gas & Electric in the m id-’90s. Albert Finney costars. Steven Soderbergh directs. (R)

THE GREEN MILE***172 D irector Frank ( The Shawshank Redemption) D arabont is back in jail again, this time for the story

fa c e lifts Once again we’ve selected scenes from four wellknown movies and, through the magic of Film Quiz Technology, zapped the famous faces of their stars right out of the picture. Your job, as always, is to identify the four films, anyway, minus their stars and with only a single clue-ridden scene apiece to go on.

s o -so

o f a prison guard and the death row giant he believes to be inno cent. Starring Tom Hanks, David Morse and Michael Clarke Duncan. (R) TOY STORY 2**** Everybody’s favorite living dolls reunite for an all-new animated adventure when Woody (Tom Hanks) is kidnapped by an unscrupulous toy collector and Buzz (Tim Allen) rallies the ’toon troops to rescue him. (G) AMERICAN BEAUTY****172 Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening play the heads of a nuclear family in the process of meltdown in the feature debut from from w hite-hot Broadway director Sam ( The Blue Room) Mendes. (R) DROWNING MONA**172 Bette Midler, D anny DeVito, Neve Campbell and Jamie Lee Curtis join forces for a farce about a woman so obnoxious a whole town comes under suspicion when she turns up dead. Nick Gomez directs. (PG-13) THE NINTH GATE**172 Poor Roman Polanski. Has as promis ing a career ever been compro mised as pointlessly as his? The once-great director of Rosemary’s Baby has had a devil o f a time in recent decades, and this super natural thriller about the search for a rare how-to book for sum m oning Satan suggests his pro fessional hell won’t be behind him anytime soon. Johnny Depp and Frank Langella star.

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(R) • THE WHOLE NINE YARDS***172 Jonathan {My Cousin Vinny) Lynn has some more family fun w ith this comedy about a hit man with a heart o f gold. Bruce Willis and M atthew Perry star.

I SOON LEARNED THAT TIGER IS

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By P ip Vaughan-H ughes om ing from the rural southwest o f England, I grew up in a landscape that was wild, beautiful, ancient — and entirely m an-made. The British Isles, like the rest of Europe, have been shaped by its hum an inhabitants over the course o f thousands o f years. T he hedges in my parents’ fields are relative babies, only 800 years old. Arriving in New England, I felt that I had traveled back in time, to some kind of primeval land where the forests still ruled and hum anity occupied a precar ious foothold on the sidelines. To the uninitiated, driving Verm ont’s backroads only rein forces that impression. Brooding, wooded m ountains, lush valleys, little clapboard villages nestled in patchwork farmland. But as Jan Albers dem on strates in her excellent book, Hands on the Land, this pastoral present masks a storm y past, and in a sense is an illusion. Vermont looked very differ ent a century and a half ago, and it looked completely different 80 years before that. Eight thousand years ago, most o f it was under water. Five hundred million years ago, it was on the Equator. M iddlebury w riter Albers, who has taught at Yale University and M iddlebury College, devotes her first chapter to the states prehis tory, from the form ation o f Earth — an event which is recorded in the bedrock o f the Green M ountains — through Lake C ham plains various incarnations as tropical ocean, glacial lake and Atlantic inlet, to the arrival of the first hum ans. This establish es, in a highly graphic way, how V erm ont’s anatom y — lake, m ountains and valleys — was formed. T he book is wonderfully illustrated thoughout in full color, and many sidebars add fur ther depth to the text. In the first chapter a sidebar entitled “H aif

a-Billion Summers at your Camp on Lake Cham plain” details all the changes an immortal lakeside home-owner might expect to note over the passing eons. There’s some comfort in know ing, for instance, “You will be

titled Hands on the Land of a landscape that has suffered great violence. Early settlers killed trees and depleted the thin mountain soil. T he boom in sheep farming in the early 19th century led to the clear-cutting of woodland, so

V e rm o n t lo o k e d v e ry i d iffe re n t a c e n tu r f? nd a h a lf a it lo o k e d c o m p le te ly Y [ iffe re n t 8 U y e a rs , e fo re th a t! 1

blessedly free o f mosquitoes and cockroaches — but only for the first 100 million years.” This is excellent stuff — entertaining and highly informative at the same time — and the book keeps to this format from beginning to end. But with the arrival of Europeans, the story itself becomes less fun. Albers has packed her book with facts and, given the subject matter, many of these are unavoidably depressing. M ost o f us know about the pas senger pigeon, extinct for a cen tury now. But I was unaware that white-tailed deer had been exter m inated by the 1850s — the present population is descended from Adirondack deer reintro duced decades later — as were beaver ancj moose. ; > A picture emerges in the aptly

that in a few short years Vermont came to resemble the bare rolling hills of my own English youth. M ining cut into the earth, and in some places, like Vershire, the land has yet to recover from industries that failed a hundred years ago. Poverty led to the abandonm ent of farms. Now a new prosperity threat ens the land in other urgent ways. The landscape I thought was ancient turns out to be prac tically brand-new. Even that Vermont icon, the big dairy farm, turns out to be a post-war newcomer. Albers recounts it all in readable prose backed up by compelling photos and illustra tions. Some of these are casually shocking, like the juxtaposition o f a view from Bay Road in Shelburne in the 7 0 s and the same view in 1998 — unrecog-

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Toll-free 888-277-5975 nizable under its scab o f tract houses. Albers always finds an inter esting way to make her readers think about their surroundings. In a sub-chapter called “Colors on the Landscape,” she explains that in the first half o f the 19th century, “a landscape that had once been overwhelmingly green and dark and dense with trees was now open and swathed with all the colors o f crops — light greens and dark, golden wheat, blue flax and red clover. Each color represented a choice that someone had made about how to use the land.” She adds, “A new beauty had been created that was not the beauty o f the landscape.” A nother sidebar shows aerial views o f typical Vermont field patterns and what they reveal about the origins o f the people who laid them out. But Hands on the Land does not focus exclusively upon the land. Equally im portant are its inhabitants, their histories and attitudes about the countryside. Albers has assembled a terrific store o f inform ation, and the multi-layered format effectively conveys it. In one passage about the development o f settler com munities, a sidebar gives us quotes from a dyspeptic clergy man, the Rev. N athan Perkins, who visited the godless Vermonters in 1789. He describes Ethan Allen as “an awful infidel, one o f ye wickedest men yt ever walked this guilty globe.” His verdict on Vermont? “Scarcely any politeness in ye State.” Albers also charts the devel opm ent o f the archetypical Vermonter. “Maybe the place was poor, but it was proud, free and flinty. Rather than thinking they had failed at things like industry and urban develop

m ent, they began to believe they had done it this way on pur pose... As the real New England Yankees, frozen in time, they were the rem aining repository of the nation’s values.” V erm onters are revealed in all their quirky glory — and w ith all their warts. A “C o rn wall F inish,” for example, was a m ethod for adulterating the fleece o f M erino sheep — w hich is naturally covered by a heavy lanolin-like substance know n as “yolk” — to make them m ore appealing to gullible buyers. O n the surface, this is sim ply a beautiful book about a beautiful state. But on closer inspection, Hands on the Land is a provocative exploration o f the im pact V erm ont’s hum an denizens have had, and co n tin ue to have, on their surro u n d ings. It closes w ith a look at the state’s present and future, a dis cussion o f environm ental and zoning laws, and possible reme dies to stave off the behem oth o f sprawl. T h e clear message is th at the landscape is not perm a nent, b u t can change in a frac tion o f a lifetime. In just a few years, B urlington w ent from being the third-largest lum ber exporter in the nation to an im porter o f w ood w hen the native supply ran out. M odern jobs, homes, cars and culture increasingly alienate us from the natural landscape, w hich we may then take for granted. T h e English landscape of m y m em ory took hum ans 4000 years or m ore to shape. In V erm ont, th at process has been cram m ed into a scant three cen turies. Albers rem inds us, above all, th at the land deserves respect, love and vigilant care.

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n the previous installm ent of “A Walk up the M ontreal M ain,” you m ight recall, I noted my sisters favorite eggroll joint and where one could go to procure the services o f bargain prostitutes. Since that colum n in M arch, the city of M ontreal has been threatening to open the area around the Theatre St-Denis as a legal red-light district and, per haps, inadvertently change the face o f our beloved lower M ain for good. Needless to say, the mer chants around the proposed dis trict are less than thrilled and are fighting the municipal govern m ent tooth and nail. Meanwhile, those o f us w ho wax nostalgic for the glory days o f M ontreal vice — the good, old-fashioned sleaze that once made our fair M ain so special — are unsure the pro posed move is such a good thing. I mean, w hat happened to all the official rhetoric about preserving our cultural heritage? I only hope they know w hat they’re doing, ’cuz it’s only the truly twisted

individual who wants to see the lower M ain turned into the gentrifled circus the upper Main has become. For better or worse, it is this circus we’ll walk through now.

Above S h e rb ro o ke Just two decades ago, The M ain (St-Laurent) north of Sherbrooke was dom inated by dry-goods stores, sausage houses, old Jewish guys and kooks like the Great Antonio. You may have heard of Antonio. H e’s the 300year-old Eastern European behe m oth with the great big, foodfilled beard and the 200 pounds o f steel chain around his neck w ho likes to stop city buses, attach them to his chain, and pull them down the street using only 400 pounds or so of beer muscle as his engine. It’s a pretty neat spectacle, all right — unless you’ve already seen him do it a hundred times, and the bus he’s selected happens to be the one you’re counting on to get you to work on time. T hen his novelty starts to wear a little thin. But there ain’t a whole

lot of people in this world who have the guts to tell Antonio to get his fat Romanian ass away from their bus — including the police, who see him as a lovable eccentric and a tourist attraction. And I’m sure as hell not going to challenge A ntonio’s greatness. I kind o f like living. But I digress. So, yes, the Main between Sherbrooke and Pine has undergone an incredible transformation since the early 1980s. Gone are most of the drygoods stores, and even A ntonio’s appearances are fewer and farther between. But in their place are more clubs and drinking estab lishments than anywhere else in Montreal — hence a vibrant nightlife scene. Most o f these places stink, some are pretty cool, and some o f them are just your basic, run-of-the-mill urban dance clubs. Here are just a few.

Betw een Sh erb ro o ke and M ilton This area is way sick, but a lot o f people really like hanging out here. Characterized by wealthy greaseballs with ques-

tionable taste and the women who love them, clubs like . ; DiSalvios (3519 St-Laurent), Publix (3554 St-Laurent) and the Allegra Lounge & Cigar Bar (3523A St-Laurent) shape the tone o f the block. They pack in both career-minded twentysomethings and shades-sporting Italian sugar daddies. Valets park their Porsches and Mercedes Benzes, and everybody wears the latest designer fashions. Drinks are pricey. Also on the block, and a little less tacky than its neighbors, is the Shed Cafe (3515 St-Laurent). It sports a pretty good terrace from which to watch passers-by. The only times I’ve ever hung at the Shed I’ve done my best to avoid talking to anyone — which never posed m uch o f a challenge

have to rob a bank to imbibe there, either. Some people swing, some dance, some cruise, and everyone else plays pool, wishing the band would shut up so they could concentrate on their games. A few doors up from Le Swimming is the Jai Bar (3603 St-Laurent), which I’m told is a pretty cool place. Deejays spin house m ost nights o f the week, and the decor is “interesting” in a m odern kitsch kind o f way. All I know is, some pretty happening mamas stum ble out o f the place, d runk and giggling, at four o’clock in the morning. How bad can that be? At great expense to the m an agement, Le Sugar (3616 StLaurent) has erected a couple of giant statues outside their estab lishm ent — one o f a chick in a

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th e g e n tn fie d c ir c u ^ h ^ ^ Iip p e M V Ia ir n ia ^ e c o m e ^ i — but I know that a lot of peo ple in the domestic film and tele vision industry like to be seen there. If this appeals to you, who am I to judge?

Betw een M ilton and P rin c e Arthur: Angel’s (3604 St-Laurent) is a spectacularly popular dance club for the teen set. Upstairs they spin drum ’n’ bass, house and tribal, while downstairs the deejays lean more towards Brit-pop and alt-rock. Everybody bitches about the Angel’s bouncers, who are regularly accused o f a racist door policy and o f indiscrimi nately beating people up. But if you’re white you shouldn’t have a problem. As I’m too cool to hang out there, I honestly don’t know if the accusations are based in fact or just the rum inations o f frustrated club kids w ho’ve been barred from the joint, but they sure are persistent. Angel’s used to keep a poor, unfortunate iguana in a glass cage by the stairs for all the Esoaked patrons to marvel at, but I’ve heard they finally put the wretched creature out o f its mis ery. They may be bullies and ani mal torturers over there, but the kids just love the place, and it’s always packed with hot-looking babes. There’s a cover charge, but it’s never much more than a fiver. Across the street is Le Swimming (3643 St-Laurent), a place that even I kind o f like, despite its stupid name. It’s not the be-all and end-all, m ind you, but they’ve got a slew o f pool tables and usually book some decent ska, funk and swing-type bands there on weekends. The drinks aren’t cheap, but you don’t

red dress and the other of a guy in a blue suit. N obody but their banker knows w hat inspired them to create this great m onu m ent to the new M ain, but I hear there’s been a petition going around to tear down these alleged monstrosities. I can’t tell you w hat goes on in the place because I’ve never had the guts to get past the giant people, but my sources tell me it’s a predictable bar for the upwardly mobile. Hey, wait a minute! Isn’t that me? Finally, there is Le Bifteck (3702 St-Laurent) on the corner o f Pine Avenue. T he popularity o f this little shitbox is an enigma of epic proportions. For as long as anyone can remember, “the Bif” has been a favorite watering hole o f musicians, writers and a. spattering o f suburban frat-boys with serious boozing on their minds. It also bears the distinc tion o f being the ex-employer of local barm aid-turned-rock-goddess, Hole and Smashing Pum pkins bass player Melissa A uf der Maur. Le Bifteck is a cheap place to drink and a good place to hang out with local and international rock stars. And no, they don’t serve steak here — I don’t think they ever did. Like I said, Le Bifteck is an enigma. O f course, we’ve just reached the tip o f the iceberg. As this area o f the Main gets more crowded and its visitors tackier, the hipsters are going further north up St-Laurent. Here the drinks are even cheaper, and the natives odder, and the old spirit o f the M ain can still be recovered once in awhile. If you’re good, we’ll continue our walk up the M ain next time. (Z)

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published stand on civil unions, he explained, because the issue “unfolded in the way we called for.” He said if it looked like the legislature was going the marriage route, “We would have weighed in.” You got that? However, other papers have been much clearer in their edito rials. Take The Stowe Reporters “Vermont votes for fairness,” and The Barton Chronicle's “A proud moment.” “It was the right thing to do,” declared the Stowe weekly, follow ing adoption of the civil-unions bill. The paper noted the argu ments of the opposition were “so weak that it’s hard not to think they’re motivated by bigotry.” It even accused some opponents of “Medieval fanaticism.” And up in the Northeast Kingdom, the distinguished Barton Chronicle disproved any notion that Kingdom folk are intolerant bigots. “We are proud to support the bill and the few legislators in our area who had the guts to vote for it,” wrote the Chronicle. “The four senators from the Northeast Kingdom who all voted against it did a disservice to their con stituents by listening only to the loudest and most insistent voters.” Still, you’d think the Freeps might have a little more to say, wouldn’t you? Just a little more? “Sylvia” Unveiled! — If you lis ten to local Burlington talk radio, you’ve heard “Sylvia.” You can’t miss “Sylvia,” the passionate and dedicated voice of right-wing intolerance. She’s been a daily communicant on 1390 W KDR for as long as we remember. W hen “Sylvia” calls, it’s time to sit back and hear the wrath of the extreme right. She detests Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Patrick Leahy, Progressives, moderate Republicans, Act 60, commu nists, socialists, feminists, envi ronmentalists, Democrats, homo sexuals, adulterers, fornicators and Howard Dean — not necessarily in that order. She loves Ruth

Dwyer, Alan Keyes, the Bingo Bishop, all anti-abortion politi' dans and just about all thd rightwing nuts out there who don’t wear sheets over their heads. “Sylvia” adores native Vermonters, but only when they agree with her sniveling, sanctimonious selfrighteousness. “Sylvia” is obsessed with talk ing on talk radio and she gives great tongue, even when she’s just basically sticking it out. She’s wily and sometimes witty and often downright nasty. Anything remotely sexual gets her twittering in high gear, looking down her smug nose at us sinners. “Sylvia” gets her licks in every single time she calls, and she calls every single blessed day. “The Mark Johnson Show” just wouldn’t be the same without “Sylvia from Winooski.” How she survived the Clinton presidency intact is beyond me. The highlights and lowlights of her talk-radio career are volumi nous, but yours truly will never forget the day “Sylvia” dropped the bombshell news that the First Lady had been fooling around with a lesbian lover upstairs in the private quarters at the White House. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t true. T hat’s certainly never stopped “Sylvia.” Radio’s supposed to be entertaining, right? However, “Sylvia” isn’t really her name. You see, all these years she’s taken her below-the-belt shots under the cowardly cover of a nom de guerre. The powers that be at the station, we’re told, granted her request years ago to use a phony name. They say she expressed fear of harassment from all the commie pinko homosexual progressive anti-American Sanders’ supporters in the local listening audience who might take exception to her bile. At the time, the station owners were new and they needed all the callers they could get. So Joyce Schmaldienst of Winooski became “Sylvia,” and the rest is history. Oh, yeah, we called Mrs. Schmaldienst Tuesday. “I don’t want an article about me in the paper,” said “Sylvia,” er, sorry, Joyce. She then tore into a list of pressing maladies and calamities, portraying herself as a pitiful victim of fate and circum stance. “And I’m under doctors care for stress,” said “Sylvia,” er, Joyce. “Does that mean you’ll stop calling the talk shows?” we inquired. “Oh, no,” Joyce answered hurriedly. “That relieves me once and a while.” Then she hung up. See, all that nasty venting about the Presidential pecker, Act 60 and equal rights for homosex uals really is just therapy for our beloved right-wing extremists. Its probably doctor-recommended in this case. Get well soon, “Sylvia,” er, sorry, Mrs. Schmaldienst. And keep that bile coming! ©

Vitamin Connection WWW.

Join us for the Windjammer/Vermont Expos Charity Golf Tournament on July 10th.. .we’ll even tee it up for you!

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Sue Cavataso YourConference Director 863-1049

But ^ Garden/ Tom O'Connell

MOVI M

t M

HERBS 100 Main Street • B urlington 865-H ERB Spring H ours: M on-Sat 10-6

The Best Western Sales Staff— Having fu n working fo r you!

1076 Williston Rd., So. Burlington

Tom Shami

Expand Your H orizons... with a C C V course this summer ■ Affordable tuition ■ Small classes ■ G reat in stru cto rs ■ C o n venient schedules

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COMMUNITY

COLLEGE

VERMONT

Pearl Street Burlington • 865-4422 • www.ccv.vsc.edu

So much depends upon a red wine bottle muted with cellar dust

beside the white cheddar. VERGENNES

WINE

..n ever an original thought

Email Peter at insidetrackvt@aol. com

Windjammer Inn & Conference Center

8 7 7 -6 3 1 2 • cases 12% over cost

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deadline: monday, 5 pm • phone 802.864.5684 • fax 802 .8 6 5.10 1 5 EMPLOYMENT LIN E ADS: 500 a word. LEGALS: 300 a word. A L L O TH ER LIN E ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25: 300 a word. Discounts are available for long running ads and for national ads. DISPLAY ADS: $14 per col. inch. ADULT ADS: $20 per col. inch. Group buys for display ads are available in other regional papers in Vermont. Call for more details. All ads must be prepaid. We take VISA, MASTERCARD and cash, of course.

E M P L O Y M E N T

Full- Time Part- Time (3 2 Hours):

The Committee on Temporary Shelter (COTS), an organization that provides shelter for the homeless, is seeking:

Evening/Weekend Supervisor n eeded

for a residential substance abuse program , Personal ojr professional experiece and knowledge dealing w ith recovery from substance abuse helpful. Training provided. Excellent com m unication skills necessary. Supervisory experience helpful. Position supervises program for - male and female residents. Send inquiries to: Bob Cafrhody, Program Supervisor, M aple Leaf Farm Associates, Inc:, ffO , 8o& ;T20, U nderhill, V T 05489 • E-mail: m ar

Fam ily S h e lte r Staff,

H O U SEK EEPER - (Mon. to Fri.)

tim e )

Up to $7.85/hour depending on experience and full benefits for this Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. opening! Medical, Dental, Life Ins., Retirement and FOUR weeks paid leave accrual! All in our beautiful com munity. Wishing to fill a.s.a.p., so apply immediately at our Wake Robin Community Center, 200 Wake Robin Drive (just off Bostwick Road, west of the museum), Shelburne, V T 05482 or fax a resume to FIR at (802)985-8452. We are on the bus route! EOE

10 25

Positions require resourceful team players with excellent organiza tional, interpersonal, and crisis mangement skills. Resumes by May I0 to: Michael Watson COTS P.0. Box 16 16 Burlington, VT 05402 (802) 864-2638

FULL-TIME EMLOYMENT WOMEN’S SHELTER STAFF

—

F/T shelter team mem

ber. Provide crisis intervention, support & referrals. Experience with domestic violence & multi-cultural perspective essential. Some weekend/evening hours. $ IO /hr. Letter of interest & qualifications to W H BW , Po Box 1535, Burlington, VT

Loan Officer Come join our team helping small businesses get started and grow in the Central Vermont region. Work with loan applicants, technical assistance providers, partner financial institutions, and municipalities: review loan applications packages; staff the Loan Committee; and ensure repayments to our Revolving Loan Fund. Successful candidate should possess at least a Bachelor’s Degree, an understanding of community development and business development, and excellent communication and networking skills; and have a demonstrated ability to work independently with limited supervision. Salary commensurate with experience; generous benefit package. Submit letter of inquiry and resume to be received by May 9th to Personnel Administrator, Central Vermont Community Action, 195 US Route 302,-Berlin, Barre.VT 05641. EQUAL O PPO RTUNITY EMPLOYER.

05402. E O E . People of color, lesbians,

Start a new career with a leader.

E N V I R O N M E N T A L

Marin Environmental, a mid-sized environmental, engineering and GIS consulting firm has several new positions available in our rapidly expanding Richmond, VT office. E n v i r o n m e n t a l / C ivil E n g i n e e r Responsibilities include managing site-remediation and compliance projects, as well as business develop ment. Requires an engineering degree, RE., and 5 years experience in remediation-system design and implementation and environmental compliance. New England experience preferred. __ Adm inistrative Assista n t Administrative support team member with solid experience in MS Word, Excel, and Windows 95. Strong familiarity with Word document formatting and merging required as well as comprehensive data manipulation and graphing capabilities in Excel. Responsibilities will also include telephone support and other general clerical duties. Important elements of this position include accuracy, attention to detail, proficiency with computers, and the abilitiy to work both independently and as part of a team in an office environment. Please submit a cover letter, resume, and salary requirements to Marin Environmental, 73 Millet St., Richmond, VT 05477. M

a r i n is a n

E q u a l O p p o r t u n it y E m p l o y e r .

Visit our web site at http: / / www.Marinenv.com

tered women encouraged to apply.

American Express Financial Advisors is one of America’s premier financial planning companies. And now we’re leading the way again with our innovative advisor career opportunities that provide flexibility and choices for the future. To find out how you can be a part of one of the most dynamic and respected service brands in the world, join us for an Informational Seminar at our Williston office, Tuesday, May 9th at 5:30 pm. To reserve a seat or submit your resume, please contact; AME RI C AN

MARIN

peopie wiui aisaoiiities a formerly oat-

EXPRESS

600 Blair Park, Suite 100, Williston, VT 05495 Attn: Deb Barton Or call: 802-872-2775 EOE/M/F/D

FINANCIAL H

ADVISORS H

I NC

Plan your summer employment NOW.

Immediate openings for servers, dishwashers, weekend chefs. Great opportunities available, flexible scheduling. 865-3Z00, Call now!

LAKE^VIIW

AMERKANil HSEXgfUESS

Financial Advisors

bar a n d / d i e /

®1999 American Express Financial CorporationTIY 1-800-266-2474

Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center Seeking Education Coordinator to JOHNSON^ STATE COLLEGE

Admissions Counselor The Admissions Office is searching for a new team member with outstanding interpersonal skills to join a high energy, fast-paced Admissions operation. Extensive travel, public speaking, and superb organizational skills are required. Applicants must demonstrate an understanding of the transition from high school to college, and possess a strong sense of purpose for working with young adults and nontraditional students. Responsibilites include assignment to a geographical territory, assisting with planning of recruitment programs, interviewing applicants, and being a main force in the telemarketing program. A bachelors degree is required. Compensation is within the Vermont State Colleges salary range and includes a competitive benefits package. Send resume and names of three references to: Penny Howrigan, Associate Dean of Enrollment Services Johnson State College 337 College Hill Johnson, VT 05656-9464

manage our Burlington craft education program s to be offered in a new clay studio to open this sum m er in M em orial Audtorium . Education degree and experience as teacher or administrator, com puter literacy with desktop design proficiency, and custom er service skills required. Non-profit experience and love o f the arts helpful.

Seeking Clay Technician/Manager to

oversee the daily operaton o f a new 12 wheel, 4 kiln Burlington clay studio to open this sum m er in M em orial Auditorium . BFA degree with experience as clay instructor and clay technician required. M echanical ability, custom er service skills, and com puter literacy essential. Non-profit experience helpful. Send letter outlining qualifications and resum e to Bill Brooks by m ail 73'/2 Main Street, Middlebury, V T 05753, by fax (802) 388-4074, or by em ail: bbrooks@ froghollow.org.

FROG HOLLOW

JOHNSON STATE COLLEGE IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER.

please note: re fu n d s c a n n o t b e g ra n te d fo r a n y re a s o n , a d ju s tm e n ts will b e c re d ite d to th e a d v e rtis e r s a c c o u n t to w ard fu tu re c la s s if ie d s p la c e m e n t only, w e p ro o fre a d c are fu lly , b u t e v en so , m is ta k e s c a n o c c u r, re p o rt e rro rs a t o n c e , a s se v e n d a y s will not b e re s p o n s ib le for e rro rs c o n tin u in g b e yond th e first p rin tin g , a d ju s tm e n t for e rro r is lim ite d to re p u b lic a tio n , in a n y e v e n t, lia b ility fo r e rro rs (or o m is s io n s ) sh a ll n o t e x c e e d th e c o s t of th e s p a c e o c c u p ie d by s u c h a n error (or o m is sio n ), all a d v e rtis in g is s u b je c t to review by se v e n d a y s, se v e n d a y s re s e rv e s th e rig h t to e d it, p ro p e rly c a te g o riz e or d e c lin e any a d w ith o u t c o m m e n t or a p p e a l.

page 4 8

SEVEN DAYS

may 3, 2000

Classifieds • 864.5684

Join our energetic team at Shelburne Farms Welcome Center for the season beginning mid-May.

S h e l b u r n e Fa r m s

Natural Foods Market now hiring! N A T U R A L F O O D S M A R K ET

Full time S part-time help in vegetarian cafe, grocery & bulk departments.

Call Kelly or Larry at 863-2569 or apply ________ at Healthy Living.___________

Organic Greenhouse Work Guest services and gate attendant. Some evenings and weekends. Call Carol at 985-8686 ext. 19 or FAX resume (985-8123).

Seeking Full-tim e & Part-time staff for harvesting, marketing, delivery & cropwork. Flexible schedules. C a l l 4 2 5 -3 9 5 9 S ee us on RFD Monday, M ay 8 at 7:30 pm, VT ETV.

TELLER SUPERVISOR

Howard Bank, Winooski & Franklin Lamoille Bank, Milton

Position sc h e d u le s w ork, c o n d u c ts m eetin g s w ith teller staffs, a n d e v alu ate s teller p e rfo rm an ce, in clu d in g se le c tio n , providing p e rfo rm a n ce fe e d b a c k a n d setting service stan d ard s. M ay a lso p ro v id e supervisory g u id a n c e to Personal bankers. A ctively su p p o rts th e service quality initiative of th e b a n k . M inim um 3 years T eller/banking e x p erien c e . S upervisory e x p e rie n c e preferred. Strong c u sto m e r service skills a n d c o m m u n ic a tio n skills are a m ust.

V$A arts of

Vermont

PD, VSAVT 192 College Street — 2nd Floor B urlington, V T 05401 W W W .V Savt.org

Program Director: Very Special Arts Vermont, a statewide nonprofit arts education organization seeks FT Program Director. Duties include pro gram development, personnel m an agement, and budget oversight; posi tion involves substantial in-state trav el. Requirements: BA, 3 years related nonprofit/social service/educational experience, excellent oral 8c written comunication skills. $23K, benefits. For more info call 860-6220. Send resume by M ay 19th. EOE.

FULL-TIIM BAKER forUniqueBakenj/Caterin? operation. Small staff =an environment different fromanqother. Sickofcooking ona line? Trqthis out!

TELLERS

Chittenden County

TAX ACCOUNTANT Burlington W e a re se e k in g a fu ll-tim e Tax A c c o u n ta n t for o u r B u rlington office. This p o sitio n is re sp o n sib le for p re p a ra tio n o f tru st a n d e s ta te ta x re tu rn s. Q u a lifie d c a n d id a te s w ill h a v e a B a ch e lo r's d e g re e in a c c o u n tin g o r e q u iv a le n t e x p e rie n c e , o n e o r m o re y e ars e x p e rie n c e in in d iv id u a l a n d /o r fid u c ia ry ta x re p o rtin g , e x c e p tio n a l o rg a n iz a tio n a l a n d c u s to m e r se rv ic e skills, a n d PC e x p e rie n c e . This p o sitio n a lso re q u ire s w o rk in g e ffic ie n tly u n d e r strict d e a d lin e s a n d until th e jo b is c o m p le te . W e offer a co m petitive total c o m p e n sa tio n p ack a g e for all regular positions o f 2 0 + hours/w eek. Benefits include: • Incentive Pay Program s • M edical Insurance • Tuition R eim bursem ent D ental Insurance • Raid T im e-O ff • 401 (k) Plans P le ase su b m it a re su m e a lo n g w ith a letter o f a p p li c a tio n to: B a n k n o rth G ro u p , Inc., H u m a n R e so u rc es D e p a rtm e n t, A ttn: A m y Ick lan , P O Box 3 6 6 , B urlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -0 3 6 6 ; o r FAX to (802) 8 6 0 -5 5 4 8 . For m o re in fo rm a tio n a b o u t jo b o p p o r tu n itie s o r to re q u e st a n a p p lic a tio n , sto p by a n y o f o u r b ra n c h e s o r call o u r Job H o tlin e a t (800) 4 6 2 -1 9 4 3 .

Equal Opportunity Employer

D o you like w orking w ith th e public? Q u a lified c a n d i d a te s m ust b e a b le to sell an d refer b a n k pro d u cts, have g o o d c u sto m e r service skills w ith p re v io u s teller o r cash h an d lin g e x p e rie n c e . H o w ard Bank is seeking o u tg o in g individuals for vario u s b ra n ch locations. Previous e x p e ri e n c e is not necessary, w e will p rovide training. Full-tim e p ositions a re a v ailab le in So. B urlington, W illiston a n d W inooski. Part-tim e p osition is available in So. B urlington. Floating p ositions are a v ailab le in th e C h itten d o n C o u n ty a rea s a n d O rle an s. W e a lso n e ed Floating O n-C all po sitio n s filled a n d th e re will b e p o si tions o p e n for su m m e r h elp . This is a g re at w ay to earn extra m o n e y a n d g ain e x p e rie n c e . W e offer a c o m p e titiv e total c o m p e n sa tio n p a c k a g e for all regular p o sitio n s o f 2 0 + ho u rs/w eek . B enefits in clu d e: • Incentive Pay P rogram s • M edical In su ra n ce • Tuition R e im b u rse m en t • D en tal In su ran ce • Paid T im e-O ff • 401 (k) Plans T hose interested in b e in g c o n sid e re d for e ith e r o f th ese p ositions sh o u ld su b m it a resu m e a lo n g w ith a letter o f a p p lic atio n to: B anknorth G ro u p , Inc., H u m a n R esources D e p artm en t, Attn: A m y Icklan, P O Box 3 6 6 , B urlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -0 3 6 6 ; o r FAX to (802) 8 6 0 -5 5 4 8 . For m o re inform ation a b o u t jo b o p p o rtu n itie s o r to req u est an a p p lic a tio n , stop by any o f o u r b ra n c h e s o r call o u r Job H o tlin e at (800) 4 6 2 -1 9 4 3 . Equal O p p o rtu n ity E m ployer

Banknorth Group

B a n k n o rth G ro u p

Riverside School Lyndonville, VT INTERIM HEAD Coeducational, independent school, grades 4-8 seeks teaching Head (interim position with long-term potential) to start July 2000. Strong academic program for 60 students, housed in a fine old homestead, strong sense of community and school projects in the arts. Apply immediately with resume, letter of interest, statement of educational philosophy, list of references to: Barbara Barnes, Consultant 287 Dutton Hill Rd. Norwich, VT 05055

Pick Pack Gardener's Supply Company is America’s leading mail order gardening catalog specializing in innovative products for the garden, yard and home. We have seasonal positions in our Winooski warehouse and now in our newest location in Georgia, VT. join our happy, hard-working crew of Seasonal Pick/Packers in the Winooski warehouse. Pick, pack and ship gardening products. Evening Shifts Monday-Friday 3:30-midnight. Day Shifts Tuesday-Saturday 7:00-3:30. Requires physical stamina, teamwork and good attitude. Some part-time work available. These seasonal positions end in late June. We ofFer great pay, a fast-paced environment and provide a generous product discount. Require strong work ethic and commitment. If interested, in this position come in and fill out an application at:

G ARDENERS V S I P H I I COMPANY V 133 Elm Street Winooski, VT 05404 Attn: Kit Job Hotline: 660-3513

fax resumeto658-8524or call Roqor Sandqtosetupanappointment at 863-6937. email stpierre0to9ether.net.

SUPERVISOR: F U U TIME Health Insurance Plan, IRA Plan, Paid Vacation Plan! Free Movie Rentals! Great Work Environment! APPLY IN PERSON AT:

VIDEO WORLD Superstore

Essex Junction Shopping Center 8 3 -A Pearl St. — Essex Junction

AmeriCorps Program Assistant The Vermont Housing & Conservation Board seeks a reliable, high energy individual with excellent com munication and interpersonal skills to work 20 hours per week providing administrative support to the AmeriCorps Program Director. Duties include assis ting with organizing trainings for 28 AmeriCorps members statewide, correspondence, and data entry. Qualifications: Organized, self motivated, efficient, positive person with strong computer skills and experience, able to manage and prioritize multiple tasks, able to work independently or as part of a team. Experience with community service and working with diverse populations preferred. Salary: $10~12/hour, depending on experience; comprehensive benefits package. Respond to Laurie Graves with cover letter, resume, and three references by May 12. Call 802 828-3250 to receive a copy of the job description. Equal Opportunity Employer. V e r m o n t H o u s in g & C o n s e r v a tio n B o ard 149 State Street M o n tp e lie r , V e r m o n t 0 5 6 0 2

may 3,

2000

SEVEN DAYS

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-qjPW W P^^-

7D Classifieds • 864.5684 •*=.**

N We Weed !m

Support We're a snail advertising company, and w e need your help in a big way. foure a remarkable individual who is at home on a M ac. at ease with people, and extremely on the ball when it comes to office support

four duties will be varied and many including, for example: bookkeeping (some), data processing, delivery coordination, equipment maintenance/iepair. estimating, foxing, filing, job trafficking, library

telephone answering. four levels of responsibility and authority will grow along with your abilities to get foe job done and foink beyond foe given foe task. W e offer a dynamic work environment medical insurance, and foe opportunity to reach your

that is passionate about its

E x e c u t iv e D ir e c t o r Vermont Council on Rural Development The Vermont Council on Rural Development (VCRD) seeks applicants for the position of Executive Director. VCRD is a nonprofit organization that supports Vermont communities by facilitating access to state and federal resources and by assist ing local citizens in recognizing and responding to community priorities. VCRD is a policy level organization addressing issues affecting rural Vermonters. Duties of the positon include: board coordination, staff super vision, community level project work, intergovernmental and public relations, budgeting, grant writing, and long-range planning. Candidates should possess a bachelor’s degree with five years of related experience — masters degree preferred, and a strong knowledge of commu nity development issues in rural Vermont. Excellent organiza tional and communications skills essential. Anticipated salary — low $50’s plus excel lent benefits. __ Applicants should submit a resume and a list of three pro fessional references to: Personnel Committee VCRD POBox 1384 Montpelier, VT 05601

people, clients and work.

along w ith a note detailing your

Deadline for receipt of applica tions: 3:00 PM, May 15, 2000. For more information on VCRD, visit www.sover.net/~vcrd.

software experience and salary

Equal Opportunity Employer

If you are organized, articulate and apply your best efforts to everything you do. please send us your resume

expectations to: Spike Advertising 266 Pine Street Suite 14

TrappTotnilq £pifge Year Round: • LINE COOK - FT, YR

ROCK POINT SCHOOL

•RECEIVINGCLERK - FT,YR

Rock Point School is a small boarding high school serving primarily college-bound students who will benefit from small class size, indi vidual attention, and a structured school day as well as evening and weekend programs.

• LAUNDRY ATTENDANT - FT or PT, YR • HOUSEKEEPING SUPERVISOR FT, YR

SCIENCE TEACHER: Teach four classes: Earth Science, Biology, Chemistry, and Senior Research. Class size up to 12. Other duties include advising students and supervising study hall and student chores after lunch. Write to John Rouleau.

•LAUNDRYSUPERVISOR- FT, YR

RESIDENTIAL STAFF: Includes evening and weekend shifts. Supervise sports activities, student chores, camping and recreation activities, and meals. Facilitate group meetings and mentor students. Write to Laura Slesar.

Seasonal:

Successful candidates will have an independent work ethic and a sense of caring for others, and will value the effect of community in young peoples lives. Salaries are low, and benefits are very generous. Submit cover letter, resume, and names and phone numbers of 3 ref erences to Rock Point School, 1 Rock Point Road, Burlington, VT 05401. For more information, email us at: rpsfaculty@hotmail.com.

• BREAKFAST WAITSTAFF FT, YR • DISHWASHERS - FT & PT, YR

• RETAIL SALESFT or PT, May 1-0ct 30, YR posi tions also available

th is

SERVERS •PO O L ATTENDANTS-FT/PT, June 15-Sept 15 •ADVENTURE CAMP COUN SELORS - FT, June 19-Sept. 12

Esr EXCELLENT BENEFITS pkg. available for full-time, YRemploy ees. All employees get free shift meals, skiing, use of fitness center, discounts.

Prepress Su Do you have the organizational and people skills to supervise a fast paced two-person prepress department? Can you efficiently produce camera ready material with Mac-based equipment? Do you have a good overall knowledge of the printing process? Do you want the more personal environ ment of a smaller shop without sacrificing the benefits of a larger shop? If you answered yes, we would like to speak with you.

D o n ’t le t

• BUSSERS, DISHWASHERS,

Apply to: Trapp Family Lodge, Human Resources, PO Box 1428, Stowe, VT 05672 Ph: 802.253.5713 fax: 802.253.5757 E0E

Valley Print S' Mail produces predominantly two-color work but a good working knowledge of four-color process1is necessary. Our well-equipped modern facility is located in Hinesburg. This full time position offers competitive wages, monthly bonus plan, health insurance, retirement plan, wellness bonus, excellent working environment and team oriented people to work with.

happen to y o u ! I n f o r m e d

f o r e w a r n e d !

SEVEN DAYS Dining Guide Com ing Soon to a browser near you.

touch it

Burlington. V I 05401

P le a s e c a ll 4 8 2 -2 9 9 5

and ask for David.

tools@spikeadvertising.com

Evenings /weekends 482-2645.

VALLEY P R IN T & M AIL

seven days feels good,

Only those applicants who best meet our requirements will be contacted, so thanks in advance to everyone who applies.

CHARTER ONE" BANK Cash M anagement Sales Associate Corporate Banking Department Charter One Bank, FSB, a $32 billion full service bank with 416 banking locations in New York, Vermont, Massachusetts, Ohio, Illinois and Michigan, is searching for a Cash Management Sales Officer for the Burlington market. This position is responsible for providing information to cus tomers, prospects and department/branch personnel and researching complex requests to cross-sell deposit and related Cash Management Products. Job activities include extensive customer contact and requires working knowledge and experience with products such as Accounts Analysis, Account Reconciliation, Automated Clearing House Services, P/C Based Management Systems, Lock Box Services, Sweep Services, Investment Services and Zero Balance Accounts. The successful candidate will have a Bachelors Degree in Business, Marketing or a related field, and a minimum of two years cash management product knowledge. Applicant must be PC literate in Microsoft Windows, Excel and Lotus applications; have excellent organizational, project manage ment and analytical skills; outstanding interpersonal skills, and a good knowledge of the financial services industry. We offer a competitive salary and benefits package including a 401(k)ESOP. For consideration, please submit your resume to: Charter One Bank Karen Morris Human Resources PO Box 978 Rutland, VT 05702-0978 Fax (802) 775-2185 An Equal Opportunity Employer M /F /D /V

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SEVEN DAYS

may 3, 2000

P o s itio n s N e e d

a v a ila b le . O n e ?

Join the #1 Team! Call today. Have fun. Make friends. SMUGGLERS' NOTCH Get paid.

www.smuggs.com/jobs

1-888-754-7684

EOE

N T

E M P L O Y M E idiscoverburlington.com

EMPLOYMENT ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT Part-time

B urlington's # i Internet C o m p a n y is offering in tern sh ip s, as well as co m m issio n based sa le s p o sitio n s.

SmartWood, a forestry certification program, seeks energetic, flexible, organized person for office support, phones, public info. Word & Excel a must. 3 days/wk. Resume & cover letter to SmartWood, 61 Millet Street, Richmond. VT 05477.

Flexible H o u rs Exciting A tm o sp h e re G row th O p p o rtu n itie s G et a D O T C O M on your R e su m e!! Call Today (8 0 2 )- 655 4 9 8 9

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BAKER/RETAIL, flexible

F I

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Special Education Adm inistrative Vacancy

hours. Apply in person C hitten d en Cider Mill. 1 5 8 0 Dorset S t., S. Burl.

BEN & JE R R Y ’S. S coopers

The Missisquoi Valley Union High School and the Sheldon School Districts are seeking to fill two (2) .5FTE positions to monitor high school age special education out-of-district placements. Masters degree required, along with administrative and/or special education consulting teacher experience and certification. Position(s) require extensive travel to attend meetings and monitor educational requirements. Knowledge o f special education laws and regulations necessary. Two .5FTE positions could be consolidated into full-time position. For more information, contact Superintendent John McCarthy @ 868-4967. Application deadline is Monday, May 15, 2000. Please send letter of interest, resume and three letters o f reference to:

w anted. Part-tim e positions in th e BEST place to work. Fun environm ent. Flexible hours. Quick a d v an c em e n t & b o n u se s. No experience n eed e d . C ontact Ben & Jerry’s, S h e lb u rn e Store. 2 0 3 1 S h e lb u rn e Rd. 9 8 5 -8 8 2 3 .

Criminal record check requiredfo r employment. EOE

C a m p

N o rth e a s te rn F a m i l y in s titu t e

With Seven Days PERSONALS, the only hard part is deciding what to make her for dinner. /

V e r m o n t La n d

E x c la m a t io n P o in t W aterfro n t D irecto r August 18-26 Residential Camp on Lake Fairlee. Competitive salary, opportunity for family par ticipation. contact Judy @ (802) 434-3244 or e-mail: campexcl@together.net

COORDINATOR or partn er to o p e rate a fine art, a n tiq u e & c raft gallery in p ictu resq u e, w aterfront village of Essex, NY. H ousing avail. Box 2 2 , Essex, NY 1 2 9 3 6 .

DELIVERY DRIVER. Full tim e CDL not req. Apply at Dock Beverage. 6 7 Depot Rd., C olchester, VT. 8 7 8 0910.

kitchen environm ent. G reat pay and free m eals. M ona’s R estau ran t, 3 Main S t., Burl.

2 0 0 0 D em ocratic C am paign Mgmt. Program . Housing/Iiving stip e n d . Learn th e n u ts & bolts of cam p aig n in g from to p political c o n su lta n ts w hile e le ctin g progressive D em ocrats to C ongress. Q ualified grads, placed in full-tim e, salaried positions around th e country. Call Jill, 8 4 7 - 8 6 4 - 1 0 0 8 . (AAN CAN)

DISHWASHER/PREP ASST. 2 -3 nights/w k. evenings 5 :3 0 -1 1 pm . Professional environm ent, free m eals, flexible sc h e d u le & sign-on bonus. 8 6 4 - 5 2 5 3 or apply in person. Trattoria Delia, 1 5 2 St. Paul St., Burlington.

EDITORIAL ASSISTANT. Looking for a g reat op p o rtu nity to join a rapidly growing publishing/W eb-based co m pany in th e health-care industry? We have an entrylevel opportunity with growth potential lim ited only by your d esire to su c c e e d . If you are a m otivated se lf-starter able to han d le m ultiple ta sk s and work independently, w/ strong co m m unication, orga nizational and c o m p u te r skills, we w ant to h ear from you. Send a cover letter and resu m e to: Green M ountain W ellness P ublishers, Inc., Attn: M anaging Editor, PO Box 5 5 4 , H inesburg, VT 05461.

Now recruiting ambitious, seif-motivated people interested in earning $25,000 to $45,000++. We offer incentives and family health plan. If you have a desire to succeed and a positive mental attitude, call 802-658-2082 for a personal interview. EOE EVERGREEN HOUSE— a division of th e C ounseling Services of A ddison County, is looking for a few su b s ti tu te and part-tim e workers. E xperience working w /adults recovering from psychiatric illness is helpful, b u t will train th e right person. Call M artha a t 3 8 8 - 3 4 6 8 or send resu m e and cover letter to 2 4 W ashington St., M iddlebury, VT 0 5 7 5 3 . EOE. FRESH MARKET. A dm inistrative A ssistant. Full-tim e. M onday-Friday. Join th e tea m of th e a re a ’s prem ier sp ecialty food store. B asic a cc o u n tin g skills, phone skills, co m p u te r expe rien ce — d a ta entry, word processing, m an a g em e n t support. S tore d iscount. B enefits. S end resu m e to Sim on @ C heese O utlet/ Fresh M arket, 4 0 0 Pine St., Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 .

C O O K

D IS H -P R E P

Work in a great environemnt, in a restaurant you can be proud of. Great team, benefits, advancement. Apply in person,

Advancement Opportunities

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Vacation, Insurance, Meals Full time/ Part time Training available for the right individual

FU RN ITU RE DELIVERY. Are you a safe driver, w ell-orga nized, friendly, handy with tools, a b le to do heavy mov ing? Call Tem po F urniture, 985 t8776.

Don't let this one get away!

GOVERNMENT JO BS. $1133 /h r. Paid train in g on entrylevel positions. Availability all over th e country. Call now! 8 0 0 - 3 2 0 - 9 3 5 3 , ext. 2 0 8 9 . (AAN CAN)

1080 Shelburne Rd. South Burlington Ask for Chef Tim 862-1300

HIGH-TECH HEALTH & envi ronm ental com pany is se e k ing a m b itio u s person to e sta b lish m ark e ts n a tio n wide. E xcellent c o m p e n sa tion. 8 8 8 - 5 3 3 - 0 2 2 8 .

HOYTS NICKELODEON C inem as a c c e p tin g a p p lic a tio n s for p a rt-tim e service staff. W eekend a n d holiday sh ifts required. G reat work e nvironm ent w/ flexible sc h e d u le . Only cu sto m e rand service-oriented a p p li c a n ts need inquire. A pplications a t Box Office. No pho n e calls, p lease.

HUDSON DISTRIBU TO RS is seek in g a reliable, in d e p e n d e n t worker to m erc h an d ise m ag azin es in sto re s in th e St. A lbans area on Tuesdays. E xcellent pay. Call, 8 0 0 3 4 3 - 2 3 4 0 , ext. 3 2 4 . or 8 8 8 -8 9 6 8 . IMMEDIATE— S u m m er c lub. Yard work, pain tin g , Spring sp ru c e-u p . Also, T ennis Pro & Instructor, Jr. Sw im Team Asst. C oach, w eekend b a n q u e t staff. 3 6 0 S p e a r S t., S. Burl. 8 6 2 - 5 2 0 0 . Apply betw een 1 2 -4 pm .

Good wages and benefits offered.

•

Team Environment

cook and full-tim e h o u se keeper w anted for Lang House, B urlington’s new est Bed & B reakfast Inn. Voicem ail, 6 5 2 - 2 5 0 0

JOB OPENINGS

To apply: Please send cover letter indicating position of interest, plus resume, and writing sample to Search Committee, Vermont Land Trust 8 Bailey Avenue, Montpelier, VT 05602 For more information, please visit www.vlt.org.

Thisisnotjust another fishstory...

FULL-TIM E BREAKFAST

• FRONT DESK CLERK: FT, incl. some weekend hrs. Need customer service experience. • NIGHT AUDITOR: PT, 11pm-7am, Fri/Sat nights per week. • ROOM ATTENDANTS: FT & PT, 7am-3pm, will train. Starting wage: $7/hr • DISHWASHER: FT & PT, PM & weekend hrs. Will train.

Employee meals $ 1/day. Apply to: Best Western Windjammer Inn & Conference Center 1076 Williston Rd. So. Burlington, VT 05403

Earn Top Pay! Work with our trained Culinary Chefs

W IN D JA M M E R

Administrative Assistant: We are seeking a detail-oriented person to support our fundraising efforts. If you have excellent organizational, communications, and computer skills, if you have enthusiasm and initiative, we want to talk with you. This individual will play a valued role in our capital campaign and other work with donors. The ideal candidate will be a collaborative problem-solver who has an Associates degree in business or other appropriate discipline plus 2 years relevant administrative experience. Applications accepted until May 12.

LINE COOKS

Five Spice Cafe

HOSPITALITY GROUP

Director of Community Relations: We are seeking an individual with significant experience in community and media relations in Vermont to maximize the impact of our conservation projects. The ideal candidate will be an investigative or environmental journalist who can work productively with community interest groups, collaborate effectively with field staff, cultivate relationships with environmental writers, expand statewide press coverage, create compelling copy for a variety of publications, and educate legislators and the public in the benefits of land conservation. If you are a gifted communicator who can build consensus, anticipate concerns, simplify complex issues, and work independently under tight production schedules, we want to talk with you. Background or interest in land conservation a plus. Bachelor’s degree in a related discipline, 5 to 7 years experience, and knowledge of Vermont's rural character required. Applications accepted until the position is filled, no later than May 18.

.p a g e t u ...

L IN E

T rust

Vermont Land Trust is a non-profit land conservation organization that works to conserve land for the future of Vermont. Since 1977 VLT has preserved more than 335,000 acres statewide. Our growth is your opportunity. In addition to competitive salary, we offer medical and other cafeteria-style benefits plus some flexibility in work schedule.

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EMPLOYMENT IN TER ESTED IN A PO LITI CAL career? Apply for th e

Manager Trainee BRM Design & Metalworks needs 2 full-time, high energy, reliable people — 1 for production and 1 for shipping, computers, and assembly. Phone: 863-9553 Fax: 863-3088

EMPLOYMENT

DISH MACHINE OPERA TORS: Very clean , efficient

[e l e c t r o l u ^ )

Dr. John McCarthy, Superintendent Franklin N W Supervisory Union 21 Church Street Swanton, V T 05488

Northeastern Family Institute, an expanding state wide mental health treatment agency, is currently seeking an individual for management of accounting and data sys tems for its Administrative and Program Offices. Duties will include bookkeeping, assistance in budget manage ment and analysis, reconciliation of general ledger accounts and monitoring specialized client budgets. Qualifications include a two-year degree in accounting with at least one year employment in the field. Candidate should be familiar with Microsoft Office/Excel and be comfortable with a fast-paced, expanding, collaborative environment. Contact Christine Mobley at 878-5390 ext. 16.

EMPLOYMENT

WINDJAMMER

HOSPI TAL1TY GROUP

~TV

may 3, 2000

LOOKING FOR e n th u s ia stic , sm ilin g person. C om puter e x p erien c e a m u st. W illing to work aro u n d your sc h e d u le . F ull-tim e position possible. $ 7 .5 0 /h r. n egotiable. Cathy, 8 6 4 - 0 5 8 5 . Sw ish M aint. Ltd. B urlington. MECHANIC a t S h e lb u rn e Shipyard. P le a se apply in person, 4 5 8 4 H arbor Rd., S h e lb u rn e. 9 8 5 - 3 3 2 6 .

NEW AUTOMATED HOME B u sin ess. Quickly earn a full-tim e incom e. No selling. U nlim ited incom e. Visit w w w .retirequickly.net/ca to se e & h e ar c o m p le te p re se n tatio n . (AAN CAN)

OUTDOOR SUMMER WORK. Socially re sp o n sib le, serviceo rien ted , to p -en d , residential p a in tin g c om pany se e k s bright, te a m -o rie n te d m en & w om en for su m m e r em ploy m en t. P a in te rs w /som e e x te rior exper. w elcom e; train in g avail, for entry-level posi tions. Call Paul a t L afayette P ain tin g 8 6 3 - 5 3 9 7 .

PARKS & RECREATION, B urlington, VT. S u m m er jobs, apply now! P art-tim e an d fu ll-tim e se a so n al po si tio n s, $ 6 -$ 1 0 /h r. We are now a c c e p tin g a p p lic a tio n s for th e follow ing positions: Track an d Field C ounselors, G ate A tte n d a n ts, Park A tten d an ts, Day C am p D irectors, P layground Program Staff, D ockm asters, Day C am p C ounselors, B asketball C am p D irector/C ounselors, M ain te n an c e A ssistan ts, A rboriculture A ssistan ts, S o c c e r C am p C ounselors, L ifeguards. To apply, su b m it a City of B urlington A pplication to: HR D e p artm en t, Rm. 3 3 , City Hall, B urlington, VT, 0 5 4 0 1 . Available in a lte rn a tiv e for m ats for p e rso n s w ith d is a b ilitie s. For d isability a c c e s s inform ation, or to re q u e st an a p p lic a tio n , c o n ta c t H um an R eso u rc es a t (8 0 2 ) 8 6 5 - 7 1 4 5 or 8 6 5 7 1 4 2 (TTY). W om en, m inori tie s an d p e rso n s w ith d isa b il ities are highly e n co u ra g ed to apply. EOE

SEVEN DAYS

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E M P L O Y M E N T EMPLOYMENT

EMPLOYMENT

PART-TIME SALES a ssista n t a t glass-blow ing stu d io in W aterbury Ctr. Friendly, n eat, d e p e n d a b le . Call 2 4 4 - 6 1 2 6 for d e ta ils. 1 0 -6 . PART-TIME. Creative, se lf s ta rte r w anted for production help in W inooski T-shirt Co. Ideal for s tu d e n ts and o th ers. Call 6 5 4 - 7 4 4 5 .

PENNY CLUSE CAFE is look ing for d ish w a sh e r & experi en ce d line cook. Com e apply... 1 6 9 Cherry S t., Burl.

Picture yourself in the movies...

Now accepting applications for

Full Tim e A ssistant Manager To assist in the overall operation of the theatre. Must possess strong customer service skills with a proven track record of excellence in retail or food services. Mechanical and projection skills a plus. Weekend and holiday hours required. Entry level training possible with the right candidate. Dynamic work environment with benefits and growth potential. Reply with cover letter and resume to: H o yt’s Nickelodeon PO Box 38 B urlington,V T 05401 N O PHO NE CALLS PLEASE.

Outdoor lobs! Vermont Youth Conservation Corps Is hiring Crew Members ages 16-24 to build trails, restore streams, and manage parks. Positions available spring, summer and fall. Info sessions &Interviews

Tuesday, May9,6 p.m. City Hall, Burlington

WILDERNESS CAMP c o u n

OWN A COMUTER? Put it to work! $ 2 5 -$ 7 5 /h r. PT/FT. 18 8 8 - 3 1 0 - 1 5 0 1 . www.pcpayo ff.com .

selors. S leep under th e stars. Hike th e A ppalachian trail. Canoe th e Suw anee. Help atrisk youth. Paid training. Free room /board. Clothing allow ance. E xcellent salary/benefits. D etails and application: w w w .eckerd.org. Send resum es: Selection Specialist/A N , Eckerd Youth A lternative; PO Box 7 4 5 0 , Clearwater, FL 3 3 7 6 5 . EOE (AAN CAN)

WRITERS WANTED. T h em estream se e k s w riters of all kinds and experience levels to publish th eir writing on th e Web. R each th o u sa n d s of in terested readers and get paid for your work. Visit: w w w .them estream .com or e-m ail: em ploym ent® th em e strea m .co m to becom e a T hem estream author. (AAN CAN).

YARD WORKER. Intervale

WAITSTAFF for am & pm sh ifts. Apply in person at Holiday Inn, 1 0 6 8 W illiston Rd., S. Burl.

BUSINESS OPP.

WAREHOUSE PERSONNEL

YOUR CLASSIFIED AD print

Full- & P art-tim e positions avail. Apply at Dock Beverage. 6 7 Depot Rd., C olchester, VT 0 5 4 8 8 . 8 7 8 -0 9 1 0

ed in m ore th an 1 0 0 a lte rn a tive pap ers like th is one for ju st $ 9 5 0 ! To run your ad in p ap ers with a total circu la tion exceeding 6 .5 million copies per w eek, call Hope at Seven Days, 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 . No a d u lt ads.

WATERJET OPERATOR. M achine & m echanically ori e n te d individual to work s e c ond sh ift in fabrication facili ty. Will train th e person w/ th e right a ttitu d e & a p titu d e . R e su m es to Alchem y Industries, 1 Tlgan S t., W inooski, VT 0 5 4 0 5 .

WORK FROM HOME! Experienced c ab le/sa tellite installers n eed ed . R equires d e p e n d a b le transportation. In d e p en d e n t C ontractor posi tion requires fax, cell, pager. Call S co tt a t 8 0 0 - 5 0 0 - 7 6 3 6 , ext. 1 0 2 or lscott@ bigfo o t.co m . (AAN CAN)

HONEST INCOME! Help people receive governm ent refunds from hom e. Free details: 1 - 8 0 0 -6 9 6 -4 7 7 9 Ext. 2 0 1 2

...is looking for a Part Time Admin. Assist for bookeeping, advertising, billing, banking, phone, and Geek dispatch.

Call 864-9245.

BUSINESS OPP.

Com post in Burlington seeks d e p en d a b le person to assist in bagging com post and with daily operations. Experience w/heavy e q u ip m e n t helpful. Call 6 6 0 -4 9 4 9 . for details.

For more information Call 1-800-639-VYCC

Rent-a-Geek

Must be organized, selfmotivated, and committed to customer service. Position begins ~ 6 l I . Experience preferred. __

EMPLOYMENT

WANNA EARN MILLIONS? W atch out for b u sin e ss opp o rtu n ities th a t m ake o u t rageous claim s a b o u t potentail earnings. Don’t be fooled by get-rich-quick scam s. There are legitim ate b u sin e ss ops., but be c au tio u s of any b u sin e ss th a t c a n ’t reflect in writing th e typical earnings of previous em ployees. For m ore info, call th e Attorney G eneral’s C onsum er Asst. Program , 8 0 0 - 6 4 9 - 2 4 2 4 .

ANNOUCEMENTS

HOUSEMATES WANTED

DEMOCRATIC CAMPAIGN

BRISTOL: R oom m ate(s) w anted for non-sm oking, drug-free environ. Partially fu rn ish e d room s. G arden sp a c e , W/D, sh ared kitchen, dining & living rm s. $ 3 0 0 / m o., incl. utils. + d ep . Kids w elcom e. 4 5 3 - 5 3 7 3 .

2 0 0 0 . Political activ ists n eed e d to tak e back th e H ouse in 2 0 0 0 ! W hile work ing on a to p -ta rg ete d C ongressional race, our tra in ing program covers every a sp e c t of m odern political cam paigning. H ousing/living stip en d . Job p la c e m e n t upon com pletion of program . M inorities & w om en e n c o u r aged to apply. Call 8 4 7 8 6 4 - 1 0 0 8 . (AAN CAN)

YOUR CLASSIFIED AD p rin t ed in m ore th a n 1 0 0 a lte rn a tive p a p ers like th is one for ju st $ 9 5 0 ! To run your ad in p a p ers with a total c irc u la tion e xceeding 6 .5 m illion copies per w eek, call Hope a t Seven Days, 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 .

PUT YOUR PC TO WORK! $ 2 5 -$ 7 5 /h r. 2 0 Y.O. co m p a ny. 8 8 8 - 2 5 6 - 5 5 4 1 . or visit w w w .pcfortune.com

COMPUTER INTERNET Proficient? $ 7 0 K -$ 1 0 0 K . Free info a t ww w.helpwante d .c jb .n e t, e n te r code “ 1 0 1 3 3 2 ” or call 6 0 3 -5 3 9 8893.

VOLUNTEER LOOKING FOR FATHERS, children, m om s and g ra n d p a ren ts to volunteer su b m is sions a b o u t d a d s for new fathering Web site. C ontact Paul at parasol@ gte.net or 4 3 4 -3 9 4 4 .

ANNOUCEMENTS BED & BREAKFAST INNS on-line. Plan your next g e t away or b u sin e ss trip a t w w w .bbonline.com . More th an 2 ,5 0 0 B&B’s and 7 ,5 0 0 color pictures! (AAN CAN)

SHRINE TO VIRGINITY. W hat our religious leaders fail to te a c h us. For inform a tion: SASE (b u sin e ss enve lope) to 1 5 6 9 Don G asper Ave., S a n ta Fe, NM 8 7 5 0 5 . (AAN CAN)

AUTOMOTIVE VOLKSWAGON GOLF GL ’96 4-dr., 6 3 K, A/C, c a s se tte , good condition, T hule rack, m u st sell, $ 8 ,5 0 0 o.b.o. 6 5 2 -0 8 6 2 .

REAL ESTATE HOMES FROM $5000. Foreclosed and re p o sse ssed . No or low down paym ent. C redit tro u b le— OK. For c u r rent listings call, 8 0 0 - 3 1 1 5 0 4 8 ext. 3 4 7 8 .

APTYHOUSE FOR RENT BURLINGTON: Two a p a rt m en ts in one g re at location. 1-bdrm ., sm all patio, $ 6 5 0 / m o., incl. h eat. 1-bdrm ., fireplace, lots of w indows, hdwd. floors. $ 8 0 0 /m o ., incl. h eat. 6 5 8 - 2 7 2 8 ; ..- v r " * •

BURLINGTON: So. End. Q uiet stre e t. 3 -b d rm . 1 0 0 0 sq .ft., plus full b a se m e n t. W/D, hdw d. firs., parking. No p ets. $ 9 0 0 /m o . incl. h eat. Avail. 6 /1 . 8 6 2 - 4 8 1 7 , eves. BURLINGTON: 1-bdrm . Downtown, n ear w aterfront. Hdwd. firs., porch, o ff-street parking, h e a t incl. $ 6 5 0 /m o . 6 5 4 -8 5 6 7 .

BURLINGTON: G reat loca tion, close to dow ntow n, UVM, Lake C ham plain. Large bdrm . in sp a c io u s ap t. Offstre e t parking. Avail. 6 /1 . $ 3 7 5 /m o .+ u tils . P lease call 8 6 5 - 4 5 2 4 or e-m ail, katebish@ hotm ail.com BURLINGTON: S h a re b e a u ti ful 3 -b d rm ., in Hill S ection, on M aple St. w/2 prof. F’s. View of lake. NS prof./grad. $358/m o.-i-utils. Avail. 5 /1 5 . Leave m sg. for Rich. 8 6 4 -9 8 6 2 . BURLINGTON: S tu d e n t look ing for NS, resp o n sib le F to sh a re sunny 2-bdrm . ap t. w /porch. Nice neighborhood. Close to dow ntow n. No pets. $ 4 2 5 /m o . incl. h eat, + utils. Avail, im m ed. 8 6 2 - 1 0 4 6 .

BURLINGTON: F su b le tte r w an ted . B eautiful brand-new 2 -b d rm . a p t. 2 blocks from UVM. May 1-end of Aug. $ 5 0 0 + 1 /2 utils. 6 5 6 - 1 5 3 4 , leave m sg. BURLINGTON: 2 responsible s tu d e n ts w anted to sh are luxurious 4 -b d rm . condo on up p er College St. N ear UVM & dow ntow n. Parking, W/D, fully fu rn ish e d , c le an in g se r vice, priv. courtyard, 2 b al c o n ies. NS or p e ts. $ 4 2 5 / m o.+ utils. 8 /2 5 -5 /2 5 . 6 5 8 -^ 2 0 2 3 or 8 6 5 - 7 6 5 2 . BURLINGTON: Room avail. C harm ing, sp a c io u s, 4-bdrm . h o u se . Close to dow ntow n. F preferred. Must be openm inded & love dogs. P lease call, 8 6 5 - 0 1 3 6 or 6 5 2 -0 7 9 6 . BURLINGTON: F, NS, prof./ grad, for 2 -b d rm . in O.N.E. O ff-street parking, garden sp a c e , lots of light. No dogs. Avail. 5 /1 . $ 3 2 5 /m o .+ 1/2 h e a t & elec. H annah, 8 6 3 -8 3 9 0 .

ONE WAS NEATER THAN THE OTHER, WHICH WASN'T UNUSUAL.

BUT TUB MORE CASUAL CLEANER NoTiCEP SOMETHING ABOUT HlS CoMPAPRE.

WHENEVER SUB WAS ANGRY SUB CLEANEP UP A SToRM.

HE CoN SlPEREP TELLING HER So THAT SHE MIGHT G ET HELP Fo r HER PROBLEM.

BUT WHY Fix A PROBLEM WITH SUCH OBVIOUS BENEFITS?

So WHENEVER IT WAS HlS TURN To Po THE PISHES, HE'P

SHE'P NOT ONLY Po THE PISHES, SH E'P WASH THE WlNPoWS.

ONE PAY SHE NoTiCEP HE WAS

SHE oVERHEARP Him TELL A BUPPY WHY HE WAS P01NG IT.

S H - o g y M iM u+e, f "CLEAtf SI?£A K" W O N C E 'THERE- W E R E IW o RooM M A TE S -

No walk-ins or emails please.

RESTAURANT: Hiring w aitstaff & p a rt-tim e cook. Call, P apa N ick's, 4 8 2 - 6 0 5 0 . SALES ASSOCIATE: E xceptional w o m en ’s c lo th ing & jewelry. G reat a ttitu d e , creative tea m player. Exp. preferred. Full-tim e. W eekends. Apply in person: M arilyn’s, 1 1 5 C ollege S t., B urlington.

LAy@WAYLAy.COM

SUMMER EMPLOYMENT — Verm ont Expos are looking for parking supervisor for th e 2 0 0 0 b aseb all se a so n . O ther p o sitio n s also avail. For m ore inform ation, call 6 5 5 - 4 2 0 0 .

TALENT SCOUTS. Earn up to $ 2 0 0 0 /m o .! Find b a n d s for S p in R e co rd s.c o m . Log on to S pinR ecords.com /T alent S c o u t for details.(A A N CAN)

UPSCALE ENTERTAINMENT Agency se e k in g full- & parttim e e n te rta in e rs & d a n c e rs. Up to $ 1 0 0 /h r. E xcellent re p e a t c lie n te le . M ust have own tra n s . Call 8 6 3 - 9 5 1 0 , 1 0 a .m .-3 p .m ., M-F.

t ic k in g h e r o f f a l l t h e t im e .

NMWM

SEVEN

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So SHE CLEANEP HlS C Lo C K INSTEAP.

HOMEBREW

HOUSEMATES WANTED

ROOM FOR RENT

DATING SERVICES

TUTORING SERVICES

WEDDING SERVICES

BURLINGTON: F em inist w om an only. Child w elcom e. S h are dow ntow n hom e, g a r d en . Friendly, clean & o rder ly. NS, no pets. $ 3 2 5 /m o .+ utils. Call, 8 6 0 - 6 8 2 8 .

ESSEX: F only. Many a m e n i tie s. Avail. 6 /1 . $ 4 0 0 /m o . Call 8 7 9 - 0 6 2 6 .

COMPATIBLES: Singles m eet

K-6, CERTIFIED TEACHER

THE B E LLE S: Flute and

MAKE GREAT BEER AT HOME for only 5 0 0 /b o ttle . Brew what you w ant when

by being in th e sa m e place a s o th er singles. W e’ve m ade th is th e b e st tim e to co nnect you. D etails, 8 6 3 -4 3 0 8 . w w w .com patibles.com .

in B urlington: reading, w rit ing, m ath, sc ie n c e e n ric h m ent. Variety of tea ch in g styles. I help build confi d e n ce , in crease productivity, challen g e th e m ind & su p port. Barbara-A nne, 6 5 8 -2 4 7 8 .

piano duo for w eddings, te a p a rties and o th er social g a th erings, classical/folk/nostalgia. In/outdoors. Call Mara M cReynolds, 8 6 2 - 3 5 8 1 .

you w ant! S ta rt-u p kits & prize-w inning re cip es. Gift certifs. are a g reat gift. VT H om ebrew Supply, Rt. 15, W inooski. 6 5 5 - 2 0 7 0 .

CHARLOTTE: W anted! R esponsible, c o n sid era te , clean & q u ie t person for c h arm in g & p eacefu l hom e. Two p lu s room s, $ 4 5 0 /m o . + 1 /2 utils. No sm oking, dogs or TV ju n k ie s. 4 2 5 - 3 5 9 7 .

ST. ALBANS: R oom m ates w anted in town. Two room s, utils, inch No sm okers. S u b sta n c e-fre e. $50/w k. Refs. req. Call, 5 2 4 - 0 4 8 9 .

VACATION RENTALS

CO LCH ESTER: R esponsible

ADIRONDACKS: Charm ing,

person, 2 5 -3 0 , to sh are a rtist h o u se on C olchester pond. Very cle an , q u iet fa rm house. $ 4 2 5 /m o . inch all. 8 7 9 - 1 1 6 2 ., afte r 6 pm ., or leave m sg.

rustic cab in , w /sleeping loft, over stream & falls, fully e q u ip p e d , co m e s with studio cab in , total privacy. 1-1/2 hrs. from Burl. $ 3 5 0 /w k . 8 6 3 -5 4 8 5 .

HINESBURG: W ant to sh a re

GRAND ISLE: Lakefront

a house w /three d an cin g , gard en in g , cooking, m usical, free-th in k in g people and 2 c ats? 8 0 0 -a c re farm , m tn. views, W/D, sorry no dogs. $ 2 5 0 /m o .+ u tils . 4 8 2 - 5 7 7 6 .

cam p . 1-bdrm . 5 /3 1 -1 0 /1 5 . $ 2 2 0 0 for se a so n . Call 8 6 2 -2 0 1 3 .

HINESBURG: S h are lovely hom e in w ooded se ttin g , dog- friendly. $ 4 0 0 /m o . incl. all. Avail. 5 /1 . 4 8 2 - 2 3 9 4 .

M ALLETTS BAY: 1-bdrm . in 2 -b d rm . condo. ISO prof., NS, o p e n -m in d ed M. Walk from th e lake. M ust like dogs. $ 3 5 0 + 1 /2 utils. Avail. 6 /1 . 8 6 5 - 4 9 0 2 .

WATERBURY CTR.: M-F, NS, c o n sid era te , resp o n sib le p e r son w/ refs, to sh a re fully e q u ip p e d C ape on 10 a cre s w/view, deck, g a rd en , s a te l lite TV, m tn. biking, skiing. No lease, p ets, lazy slobs. $ 4 0 0 /m o . inch utils. Page Chris, 3 5 1 - 7 1 6 5 .

SITUATIONS WANTED NATURAL RESO U RCES prof, se e k s h o u se/apt./room rental w/in 4 5 m in. of Burl. Q uiet se ttin g w/ g arden s p a c e a plus. Solid referen ces. P le ase call 4 8 2 - 6 3 2 3 .

N.E. SIN G LES CONNEC TION: D ating and friendship netw ork for relationshipm inded single ad u lts. Professional, intelligent, per sonal. L ifetim e m em bership, new sletter. Call for free info, (8 0 0 ) 7 7 5 - 3 0 9 0 .

FINANCIAL SERVICES CASH LOANS. Auto loans. Debt consolidation. Bad cred it OK. 8 0 0 - 4 7 1 - 5 1 1 9 , ext. 2 2 2 . (AAN CAN) C onsolidate d ebts! Sam e-day approval. Cut paym ents to 50% !! No ap plication fees. 8 0 0 - 8 6 3 - 9 0 0 6 ext. 8 3 8 . w w w .help-pay-bills.com . (AAN CAN)

MISC. SERVICES

UNIQUE LIVING SITUATIONS

to your future! Call today! 1 -9 0 0 -2 6 7 -9 9 9 9 , ext. 8 1 1 3 $ 3 .9 9 /m in . M ust be 18 yrs. U-SERV. (6 1 9 ) 6 4 5 - 8 4 3 4

CO LLEG E STUDENT.

HAIR STYLIST: The one and only Tim Melow. “This c at is tu n e d into hair like I am tu n e d into h o u se c le an in g ,” says Diane H., housekpr. to th e stars. S c h e d u le with Tim a t H aircrafters, 8 6 3 - 4 8 7 1 .

YOU DON’T NEED VOODOO TO FIND THE RIGHT MAN (IT JUST FEEIS LIKE IT SOMETIMES). YOU NEED SEVEN DAYS ,'ERSONAIS. IT ’S IN THE BACK OF THIS ISSUE.

BELOVED BMW NEEDS CATALYTIC CONVERTER REPLACED Dear Tom a n d Ray: M y pampered 1987 B M W 528e has 72,000 miles on it. It has been lovingly cared fo r and purrs like a kitten. B ut recently it started sounding like a B-52 bomber. The B M W mechanic showed me the catalytic convert er, and I saw where the pipe that connects to it has rusted, through. He said he could replace the con verter with a ‘rebuilt” B M W converter fo r $1,300. He says it has to be a rebuilt, because B M W doesn’t make new convert ers fo r my car anymore. I spoke with a n o n -B M W mechanic, and he said that he could p u t in a new, n o n -B M W converter fo r about $700. Which way should I g°?

—

rC arolyn ,

RAY: I ’d go for the after-m arket converter in this case, Carolyn. Since the car is 13 years old, and the B M W converter costs twice as m uch, I’d take my chances on the new, after-m ar ket converter for $700. T O M : Right. After all, you can buy two o f them for the price

NORTHERN IMAGE VIDEO P roduction & D uplication. High-quality, creative & affordable. C om m ercials, industrials, PSA’s & d o c u m entaries. Call Bill M eisenzahl, 8 6 2 - 1 6 4 5 , ext. 16.

ORGANIC PRODUCE ORGANIC FARM in B urlington’s Intervale offers affordably priced farm m em b e rsh ip s. M em bers receive b a sk e t of seaso n al produce (sw eet corn, to m a to es, m esculn, straw berries, m ore) ea. wk. from Jun.-N ov. Delivery avail. Info: 8 6 2 - 5 9 2 9 .

BURL, to WIN.: Heading into Winooski at the crack of dawn? I need a ride! I work 6 am-4:30 pm, M-F. (3258)

$ $ $ N E E D A LOAN?

PSYCHICS HOLD THE KEY

Burlington Hill S ection. Room & board e xchange for after-school care of d e lig h t ful, 7 Y.O. boy. M ust be c a r ing, resp o n sib le & have car. S e p te m b e r start. 8 6 4 - 7 1 2 6 .

VIDEO SERVICES

GETTING MARRIED? M usic for your cerem ony &/ar reception from VT legends R achel Bissex & S te p h en G oldberg. R om antic love songs to sw inging d a n c e tu n e s . Jazz/Folk/R ock. 8 6 3 6648.

CHARLOTTE/N. FERRISBG to BURL.: I am looking to share

ESSEX JCT. to ESSEX JCT.: I am

driving to work. My hours are 95:30, M-F. (3273)

looking for a ride on my short, 4 mile commute to work. I work 7am-3:30pm. M-F. (3263)

MILTON to BURL.: I am looking

HINESBURG to ESSEX: I work

for a ride to work to my new job. My hours are 7:45-4:00 pm. MF. (3274)

the D1 shift at IBM and would like to share driving w/someone. (3260)

RICHMOND P&R to COLC.: I am

JERICHO to COLCH.: I would

hoping to share driving on my commute to work. My hours are 7:15-5:00 M-Th. (3271)

like to share driving w/someone on my daily commute. I need to be at work b/w 8-9am and I work until 5pm. M-F. (1189)

JERICHO to ESSEX: I work at IBM and need a ride home from work. I get off work at 3:30pm. M-F and live on Lee River Rd. (3264)

ESSEX/MILTON PARK&RIDE to ST. ALBANS I would like to

SO. BURL, to SO. BURL.: i am

share driving to work. My hrs. are 6:30am-3pm. M, Tu, Th, F. (3262)

looking for a ride to work on Community Drive. My hours are 8:30am-5:00pm. M-F with some flexibility. (3266)

shift— 7am to 7pm W-Sat. and am looking for a ride to work. Pis call me. (3259)

COLCH. to IBM: I work the N8

MILTON to BURL.: I am looking for a ride into Burl, one day/mo., preferably during the first week of the month. I can go & return at any time of the day. (3256) BURL, to WILLISTON: I am looking for a ride from Shelburne Rd. to Wlliston. My hrs are llam -7p m . M-F (3254)

VERGENNES TO MILTON: I would like to share driving on my daily commute. I work 7am3pm. M-F. (3172)

RTE. 15 (COLCH/ESSEX) to BURL.: I work Tu-Fri and have a very flexible schedule. I am hop ing to get a ride into Burl, some time in the late morning and return anywhere around 4 or 5pm (3247)

HUNTINGTON to COLCHESTER: Going my way? I’m hoping to get a ride to work. My hours are 84:30, M-F, & are somewhat flexi ble. (3243)

VANPOOL RID ERS WANTED

Route from: Burlington & Richmond Commuter Lot To: Montpelier Monthly Fare: $85 [Work Hours: 7:30 to 4 :2 5 p.m. Contact: Carl Bohlen Phone: 828-5215

i o f the BM W converter. So even if they last only half as long, you’ll still break even. RAY: There are some instances when we do recommend new, factory converters to people even when they cost twice as m uch as after-market parts — if the car is relatively new and the person plans on keeping it for m any years. But you re not even being offered a new part. And chances are, even the aftermarket converter will last eight or 10 years. And by then, your “beloved” 528e might be your “dearly departed” 528e. Good luck, Carolyn. Dear Tom and Ray: M y husband and I enjoy your column each week. Thank you fo r the fu n and useful informa tion. (Editor’s note — this letter may have been mistakenly sent to Tom and Ray.) Enclosed is an advertisement fo r the “Auto Starter, ” a portable battery that you carry in your car to use for jum p-starting i f your battery dies. It sounds almost too good to be true. We’d appreciate your evaluation. —

Nancy

RAY: Unfortunately, Nancy, your evaluation is pretty much right-on. This r no miracle

cure for the dead battery. T O M : According to Consumer Reports, the Auto Starter con sists of a bunch of AA batteries. They're packaged in a box that is about 8 inches long and 2 inches on each side — small enough to store in your glove box. The Auto Starter plugs into your cigarette lighter and is supposed to allow you to start your car when your bat tery dies. RAY: And it might work — under the best of conditions. If you leave your lights on for a couple of hours, and your bat tery is just weak but not dead ... and vou live in Florida, it’ll probably get you started. But if you left your lights on all night, or your battery is stonecold dead, there’s no way this thing is going to get you going. T O M : T hen there’s the cost. It costs $56, which is a little less than a brand-new battery costs. RAY: If you’re really concerned about dead batteries, you’d be better off with a device made by Prestone called “Jum p It.” It costs about $90, but it’s much more substantial than the Auto Starter. It’s about the size o f a gallon o f milk and weighs a lot more, but it has a built-in han dle. And it contains a serious 12-volt battery that W ILL start all but the biggest engines, even when the battery is dead. T O M : It’s a little harder to use because it connects to the bat tery via cables rather than the cigarette lighter. It also needs to be recharged periodically (it’s got a gauge on the side, so

V e rm o n t^ S ^

R id e sh a re

you’ll know when). But it’s much more likely to actually help you when your battery dies, Nancy. Dear Tom and Ray: There’s a guy named Bob Sikorsky who has an automotive column that I ’ve seen in some other papers. This past week, he was asked the following question: “I ’ve heard that, when a battery is disconnected in a newer car, all memory functions, such as clock and radio settings, engine codes, and the like, are lost. Is this true?”Sikorsky’s answer was: “I f a battery is disconnected fo r any length o f time, all computer storage functions ... are lost and must be reset after the battery is reinstalled. There are portable, battery-fed devices that plug into the cigarette lighter housing and provide trickle current to these units while the main battery is disconnected, keeping those set tings from being lost. ” You covered a similar topic in your column regarding lost set tings after a battery replacement. You mentioned that the computer is supposed to “automatically relearn” the correct settings from the engine sensors once the car has been taken fo r a sustained, moderate-speed, drive. So, which is true? Are the settings lostforev er, or are they automatically relearned? I ’m planning to change the battery soon on my '97 Camry and want to know what to do. Thanks. — Larry

RAY: We’re both correct, Larry. We were talking about two dif ferent kinds o f settings. T O M : Bob Sikorsky was talk ing about the clock and the radio presets. Those aren’t really “com puter” settings. Those are mem ory settings in specific “stand-alone” devices. A nd those W ILL be perm anently lost if the battery is disconnect ed. To prevent the loss, you can use a little 9-volt device like Bob describes. RAY: We use one in our garage, mostly because it would take us a year and a half to reprogram most m odern radios, and prob ably another three m onths to figure out how to reset the T O M : W hat W E were talking about in our colum n were the E N G IN E settings that the engine-m anagem ent com puter stores. These nave to do with things like engine tim ing and autom atic transmission shift points. RAY: And if you disconnect the battery, those settings will be lost. But if you just drive for five m inutes or so at about 35 m ph, they will all be complete ly relearned. T hen you can pull over for a couple o f hours and w ork on the radio.

Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care o f this newspaper, or e-mail them by visiting the Car Talk section o f cars.com on the World Wide Web.

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f r o m th e s e c r e t file s o f

p ro tra cte d full-body tw eezer depiliation

O C tH H O H

NO POWER? NO PROBLEM. We have been h ands-on d e sig n er/d ea ler/in staller of th e b e st in ren ew ab les sin c e 1 9 9 1 . We offer solar, wind and hydro energy c o m p o n e n ts an d c o m p le te sy stem s. We sp e c ia liz e in off-grid a n d util ity in te rtie /b a c k -u p power system s. We do site analysis, rep airs and u p g rad es. C atalog avail. We return pho n e calls. Verm ont Solar E ngineering, PO Box 6 9 7 , B urlington, VT. 0 5 4 0 1 . 8 6 3 -1 2 0 2 / 8 002 8 6 - 1 2 5 2 , w w w .vtsolar.com .

Well, don’t you think that the person who lost that arm might want it back, dear?

Hmm...if your bedroom is so clean, then where is that awful smell coming from?

I’m sorry, but you can’t go outside to play until you’ve cleaned up your room.

But Monumy-room's not messed up at all.

I don’t think so, Mom...his head was lyin’ right next to it.

BUY THIS STUFF DINING ROOM, 1 2 -p iec e Cherry wood, 9 2 ” , d ouble p e d esta l ta b le , lighted hu tch & buffet, sid eb o ard server, 8 C h ip p en d ale chairs, new, still in boxes. Cost, $ 1 1 0 0 0 , s a c rifice $ 2 9 0 0 . 6 5 8 - 4 9 5 5 . ORGANIC GARDENING S u p p lie s avail, at Dirt Works. We have bagged fertilizers, liquid fertilizers, straw , co m post, bark m ulch, topsoil. w w w .dirtw orks.net, 8 0 0 - 7 6 9 3 8 5 6 . MC/VISA a c c e p te d . (9-5), M on.-Sat.

SAILBOAT— S le e p s 4 close friends. 2 4 ’, lake fro n tag e on e ith e r sid e . W eekend getaw ay of fib erg lass & m ahogany. 8 horsepow er aux. $ 4 5 0 0 . 2 2 3 -6 9 0 5 . SOFTUBS. For sale or rent. New & u se d . Portable/affordab le. Indoor/outdoor. Hot tu b s for fun. 7 F ayette Rd., S. Burl., 9 5 1 - 8 8 2 7 .

SIX COLOR SILK SCREEN p ress, conveyor/flash dryer, ink & sc re e n s, turn, key o p e r ation. $ 2 0 0 0 , o.b.o., 6 6 0 -4 0 8 2 . ' • ■" '

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MUSIC

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Sw ingbag P roductions offer ing: digital m ulti-track audio, digital video, post-production videos, CDs, live and rem ote recording, band dem os, call 8 6 2 - 5 6 0 1 , or 8 6 3 - 1 2 3 3 .

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1 8 6 OUER

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for the

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EXCELLENT DRUMMER

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PRIVATE PHOTOGRAPHY & dark room in stru ctio n . C om bine theory an d p ra c tic e w/ b asic te c h n iq u e . Hourly/ sessio n ra te s. M. T horsen, 8 6 5 -9 7 6 5 .

n e e d e d for p opular working cover b an d , E m pty Pockets. R&R, R&B. W eekend only, bookings through 2 0 0 1 . 4 8 2 -5 2 3 0 .

M A R C H 8 tj? I % 1 SATuRPAy LaS+ nigh+ Dt'geAand I played Poker- up a t Dobs kevse. WiQftl wor> qbout # 1 .5 0 ... X I lo s t a KUlt 0* Camt Otft eVfc^,.. X d id A f- CotM+<*>y m oney -to s W t w«‘t b . KJ\ gtl I dept out i’a-H* P *+y

CALLIOPE MUSIC— Full repair service & restoration of all strin g in stru m e n ts. A uthorized w arranty service: Fender, Guild, M artin, Taylor, T akam ine. 2 0 yrs. exper. 2 0 2 Main S t., Burl. 8 6 3 - 4 6 1 3 .

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Class MUSIC

LEGALS

AD ASTRA RECORDING. Got

a d ress: 201-203 N.Willard St. Tax a c c o u n t n u m b er/ Map locator num ber: #045-1073-000. Deed recorded at:

m usic? Relax. R ecord. Get th e trac k s. 2 0 + yrs. Exp. from sta g e to stu d io . Tenure Skyline S tu d io s, NYC. 2 4 trac k a u to m a te d m ixdown. ls t- r a te gear. W ide array of keyboards, d ru m s, m ore. Ad Astra, building a rep u ta tio n of sonic integrity. 8 7 2 - 8 5 8 3 .

MUSIC INSTRUCTION GERMAN MUSIC TEACHER will te a c h your ch ild ren 6 + to read and play m usic on th e recorder. G roups & a d u lts also. C hristine, 8 9 3 - 7 4 8 0 .

BANJO: Learn old-tim e style pick in ’ and stru m m in '. E m phasis on rhythm , te c h nique, m usicality. $ 2 0 /h r. Call Mara, 8 6 2 - 3 5 8 1 .

GUITAR: All styles/levels. E m phasis on developing strong te c h n iq u e , through m u sician sh ip , personal style. Paul Asbell (U nknow n B lues Revue, K ilim anjaro, SklarGrippo, e tc .). 8 6 2 - 7 6 9 6 .

LEGALS NOTICE OF TAX SALE The re sid en t and n o n re sid en t ow ners, lienholders and m ort g a g ee s of L ands in th e City of B urlington, in th e C ounty of C h itten d en and S ta te of Vermont, are hereby notified th a t th e real e s ta te tax es a sse ss e d by su c h City for Fiscal year(s) 1995, 1997,

1998, 1999 and 2000, w ater/w aste w ater billing and/or services for th e year 1 9 9 9 , and m u nicipal code en fo rc e m e n t relocation se r vices c o sts for th e year 1 9 9 9 rem ain, e ith e r w hole or in part, u npaid on th e follow ing , d e sc rib e d lan d s an d prem ises in th e City of B urlington, ” ^ to w it:......- • * " ir

Vol. 414, Pg. 384, on April 26, 1979 from: Joesph S. Wool, Trustee to Reconvey. R eferen ce may be had to said d e ed for a m ore p a rticu lar d escrip tio n of said lands and p rem ises, a s th e sam e a p p e a rs in th e Land R ecords of th e City of Burlington. And so m uch of th e lands will be sold a t p ublic auction at C onference Room # 2 , City Hall, 1 4 9 C hurch St., B urlington, VT on May 2 3 , 2 0 0 0 at 9 :0 0 o’clock in th e m orning, a s shall be requisite to d isc h arg e said taxes to g e th e r with c o sts and other fe es allowed by law, unless th e sa m e be previously paid or otherw ise resolved. Dated a t th e City of B urlington in th e County of C hitten d en and S ta te of Verm ont th is 1 3 th day of April, 2 0 0 0 . B rendan K eleher Clerk/Treasurer B urlington, VT

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Dear Cecil, My friend, a woman who truly can achieve orgasm by stimu lating any part o f her body, was offered the word ‘‘polymorphous” as a description o f her abilities. The dictionary says polymorphism is "'the occurrence o f differentforms, stages or types in individual organisms or in organisms of the same species, independent o f sex ual variations. ”So I ’m sure that’s not it. However, is there a word for her "'condition?” — Gary Rutz, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada Not to be critical, Gary, but of the many questions that bubble to mind when one considers this topic, probably the last on the list is what to call it. For many, the more pertinent issues are: Is this condition catching? If so, when can I come over?

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The person describing your friend probably meant to say “polymorphously perverse,” a Freudian term for infantile sexu ality, in which the child’s entire body, not just its genitals, is a source of erotic pleasure. I think Freudian theory is for the birds, though, so let’s put that one aside. Other terms I’ve seen for orgasm without genital stimulation include “psychic orgasm” and “psycholagny.” Now to the more pertinent question: What’s up with this, anyway? I had Little Ed quiz Gary about his friend and also post a query on the Straight Dope Message Board at www.straightdope.com, where, I swear, you could ask people if they’d had sex with goats and an hour later you’d have somebody asking, “Define sex.” Sure enough, within a couple days we had reports of about two dozen people, mostly women, who’d allegedly had psychic orgasms. Fifteen women filled out our questionnaire and another gave a detailed account, for a total of 16 reports in all. Highlights: The women could climax through stimulation of their ear lobes, nipples, fingers, necks, backs or, in one case, the anus. Sometimes kissing alone was enough. One had an orgasm while scratching her back with a back scratcher. Gary’s friend supposedly could come by tugging on her hair. Several had orgasms while they slept, the equivalent of an adolescent male’s wet dream. Some women required no physical stimula tion at all: They were turned on by sexy voices and had enjoyed psychic orgasms during phone or cyber sex, or while their lover was across the room. One woman climaxed out of the blue while talking to her boyfriend in a department store. Another had an orgasm while replaying a sexy movie in her mind, yet another while lying on the beach half asleep having a sexual reverie. One got off reading erotic stories, two others when they simply had full bladders. Several women said they came while giving oral sex, which I’m sure makes them a prize in some men’s eyes. One had orgasms due to nipple stimulation when she became chilled. Two women said they’d come when a guy merely touched them after a long session of meaningful glances at a meeting or party. Some of the stories were bizarre. One woman had an orgasm during a history exam, brought on by frustration at not knowing the answers. Another said she’d once suffered

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from extreme foot pain due to muscle inflammation, and if she was on her feet a long time and had to go to the bath room even slightly, she’d have an orgasm every few steps. Yet another was driving at 80 mph down 1-95 listening to two radio jocks talk a woman caller into getting off while on the air, and got off herself: “Keeping both hands on the steering wheel, I nearly drove into a tree.” Though a diverse crew, the women on the whole were sex ually adventurous. Five indicated they’d had sexual encounters with both sexes and one was “bi-curious.” A couple were mar ried but had lovers. Most had sex frequently — typically, four to eight orgasms a week, and some had a lot more than that. One woman claimed to have come 14 times in the past seven days, two said 20 or more times, and a fourth said “around 50.” Gary said his friend, a self-confessed “orgasm addict,” cli maxed 10 to 20 times a day. Then again, one woman’s Ocount for the week was zero. O f th e 15 w o m e n su b m ittin g q u e stio n n a ires, all b u t tw o said th ey always o r a lm o st always h a d orgasm s d u rin g sexual in terco u rse — a strik in g claim in itself, since surveys typically re p o rt th a t 6 0 to 75 p e rce n t o f w o m e n can’t d o so. Several w o m e n w ere m u ltio rg asm ic a n d a t least o n e occasionally ejac ulated.

Your reaction may be: These babes were putting you on. Little Ed was asking the questions, so one never knows. However, research has shown that some women can have honest-to-God orgasms without touching themselves. Beverly Whipple, a professor of nursing at Rutgers University, invited 10 women who claimed to have psychic orgasms to submit to tests at her lab. Sure enough, there was no physiological differ ence between orgasms from genital self-stimulation and those from “imagery” alone. As for men... well, I didn’t hear much from them. I did get one secondhand account of a man who climaxed whenever a woman blew in his ear, but he was a rarity. It seems clear that while men, on average, can come more readily than women, women have a much greater range of sexual response — and some can reach heights that leave guys (and a lot of women) shaking their heads in disbelief. — CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

may 3 , 2000

SEVEN DAYS

page 55

May 4 ~ 11

tI Bj y Ruob B r ea zsn y

ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Frankly, Aries, tim e has been kicking your ass lately. Have you thought about speed-reading a book on tim e m anagement? O r drawing up a m ore ruthlessly honest list o f priorities? O r cutting back on two moderately diverting habits in order to devote m ore intensity to another habit that generates intelligence-boosting levels o f bliss? I wish there were an alarm clock you could buy that w ould wake you up w ith the greeting, “M ake haste carefully, you ingenious m aster o f good tim ing.” Since there’s not, the next best thing m ight be to perform a ritual in w hich you shower your watch w ith kisses.

TAURUS (Apr. 20-M ay 20): H ow do I interpret the boisterous gathering o f planets now taking place in the sign o f the Bull? I believe it sig nals a massive outbreak o f raw Taurean beauty. You can expect your self to overflow w ith graceful pragm a tism, wise sensuality, robust kindness and lucid perceptions untainted by wishful thinking. T h a t’s why I hereby nam e you the Absolute Ruler o f Your Little C orner o f the W orld. You have a cosmic license to reshape reality in your image. Tell your boss, your ene mies and the local bully that I said so.

GEMINI (M ay 21-June 20): It’s hard to keep track o f m y G em ini friend Rick’s restless m eanderings. A m ong other things, he has been a jewelry-maker, m ountain-clim ber, rock guitarist, first m ate on a tugboat and medieval scholar. I’ve always w atched w ith perplexed awe, w onder ing if m aybe he should com m it him self a little m ore deeply to one profes sion or another. But w ho knows? Maybe for Jiirri, as f o r m any G em inis, leaping fitfully from passion to pas sion is the m ost righteous path. In any event, I th in k we’ll soon find out if there are any long-term karm ic con sequences. T his is the year th at a m ajority o f you Twins will get a report

ACRO SS 47 "Waking — 1 Big — Devine” 4 “Stop, (’98 film) sailor!" 49 Wee serving 9 Jam es of 52 Composer “Misery" Schifrin 13 Swash 54 Circus buckling performer novelist . 57 Put on a pedestal 18 Grand — Opry 61 Soft tissue 19 Actress 63 Tangle Berger 64 Damage 20 Mournful 65 Actress music Ward 21 “F Troop" 66 Baseball's , corporal v Boudreau 22 Start 68 Enchilada of a remark alternative by Milton 70 Trinity” Berle author 24 Mid-size 72 Neighbor of band Wyo. 25 “Andrea — ” 73 Obeys the 26 Costa — dentist 27 “Family 77 Part 3 of Feud” remark host 78 ’80s Joe 29 Division Penny word series 31 Aachen 80 Crank’s article comment 32 Basilica 81 Skater feature Lipinski 34 Part 2 of 82 Noun suffix remark 84 Sundown, to 38 TV's Shelley “General — " 85 Actor Arkin 42 Like some 87 See sheep 106 Across 43 Part of 88 “Love Train” HOM ES group 44 Inclined 91 th ic k Qf 45 Senator things > Thurmond 95 Denizen

—

■—

“Conjunctions T h at Changed the W orld” in the May 2000 issue o f Sky & Telescope magazine.)

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

In 1226, M ongol astrologer Yeh-lu C h’uts’ai saved 100,000 lives. His boss, Genghis Khan, had ordered a massacre o f the Tangut race, but the sage insisted that a heavenly sign — a colossal planetary conjunction in Capricorn — was a clear om en not to proceed w ith the plan. Amazingly, Khan agreed. N ow it’s m y honor to be inspired by m y predecessor, Yeh-lu C h’uts’ai. T he evil I’m standing up to is insidious, though not as horrendous as Khan’s; it’s the fear-mongering prophets who predict that the current gathering o f planets in Taurus will bring global catastrophes. Join me in boycotting these dangerous fools, my fellow Cancerians. In fact, join me in rebelling against our entire culture’s worship o f pessismism, violence and decay. In m y oracular opinion, this should be the m ost feel-good era for us Crabs in m any moons.

Some ditzy alarmists warn that the current logjam o f planets in Taurus will exert such huge gravitational pres sure on the Earth that it’ll unleash tidal waves, earthquakes, volcanoes and other nasty inconveniences. Astronom y p ro f D onald Olson has done the m ath, however, and con cludes that it ain’t so. According to him , this week’s celestial event will create only m oderate tidal stress on our planet. T he full m oon o f last Decem ber 22, 1999, exerted m uch more. Aside from all that, Virgo, my belief is that no other force can exert more pull on you right now than a certain future event that is already leading you towards a grand opening. (P.S. I dare you to dream tonight that you own a plane that can land on the water and become a boat.)

C hina there was a doctrine called the “M andate o f Heaven.” Because o f it, a ruling dynasty often gave way to new leadership when m any planets gath ered in one astrological sign. In May, 1059 B.C., for instance, a large con junction in Cancer signaled the end o f the Shang kings, who had grown corrupt. W en, a rebel w ith great integrity and wisdom , ascended to the throne. I believe we can apply an analogous m andate to you, Leo, in concert w ith the current celestial alignm ent in Taurus. A person or idea or institution that has wielded trem endous influence in your life is now ready to step down — or be overthrown. (For m ore info on this subject, read Bradley E. Schaefer’s

97 Geological phenome non 99 The Chip munks, e.g. 100 Comic Carvey 101 Galena, for one 1 0 3 -----ski party 105 Priest's robe 106 With 87 Across, type of liqueur 109 Merit 112 — blanket 114 Part 4 of remark 118 Well7 informed 119 “So that’s your game!” 120 Nonflowering plant 121 T h e Addams Family” uncle 125 Does Little work 128 Croc’s kin 131 Chateau valley 133 End of remark 135 Wear away 136 Computer key 137 T h e Lady — ” (7 9 film) 138 Child welfare org. 139 Rock's Meisner

140 Stocking stuffers? 141 Dispositions 142 T h e Bells” monogram DOWN 1 Physicist Niels 2 T h e Time Machine" people 3 English port 4 Simile center 5 Feud 6 Novelist Seton 7 Pack 8 Homeric characters 9 Pres. Clinton, e.g. 10 Performer 11 Actor’s actor? 12 Irritate 13 Rigoletto, to Gilda 14 Actor Tognazzi 15 — Gras 16 Sharon of Israel 17 Trap 20 T in y Bubbles" singer 23 Com ics’ “Andy — ” 28 He gives a hoot 30 “— the fields we go .. 33 Slangy sib

35 36 37 38

LIBRA (Sept. 23-O ct. 22): W hen six heavenly bodies converged in Pisces in 1524, m any soothsayers foresaw a global flood. N ot me, though. Living in London in m y past incarnation as an alchemist, I was inspired by the conjunction to predict that the turkey, an odd bird from the New W orld, would soon be eaten for the first tim e by the English court. I was right. Later, as a young mystic in m y current lifetime, I debunked The Jupiter Effect, a book that claimed 1982’s planetary logjam would destroy California w ith earthquakes. Instead, I said it m eant St. Louis would win baseball’s W orld Series. Again I was correct. These data from m y resume should convince you to trust me when I offer the following augury: This week’s big alignm ent in Taurus sug gests you will make m ore and better

Ain’t right? Extensive Toast start Grapefruit serving 39 October birthstone 40 Curved lines 41 Forsaken 46 Ditch under a draw bridge 48 Object 50 Change for the better 51 Brawl 53 Sonja Henie’s birthplace 55 Acts like an ass? 56 Spirits 58 Amritsar attire 59 Nonsense 60 Smidgen 62 Throw a party 67 Custom 69 Message board? 71 Goblet part 73 Lost luster 74 — apso 75 Gray or Moran 76 — Domingo 79 “What’s — for me?” 80 Candy quantity 83 Spotted rodent 86 Belarusian city

a |

n f

I\ gf

love than ever before.

J six years ago. T he creative juices I t surging through you now | | should inspire you to brilliant innovations that allow you to ripen the labor o f love you’ve nurtured since then.

SCORPIO

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

— --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -

card from the Goddess concerning your w ork o f the last 11 years. Expect the initial revelations very soon.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In ancient

89 Puppy protests 90 Withered 92 Downspout 93 Bank deposit? 94 Twelfth Night” role 96 Spanish surrealist 97 Equipment 98 Happened again 102 Heal a rift 104 Eat in the evening 107 Right — the bat 108 A hole near the sole 110 Allude (to) 111 Dundee denial 113 Loud laugh 114 Bet 115 “Pal Joey” author 116 Boca — , F L 117 Maine town 122 Willowy 123 Baseball's Martinez 124 Spanish river 126 “I could — horse!” 127 Break suddenly 129 Eccentric 130 Curious George’s creator 132 Musical syllables 134 Pitches

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 1385, the conjunction o f m any planets in Cancer ushered in few star tling upheavals, though it coincided with the first grand ball o f the French court. N othing o f m uch political im port occurred in the wake o f the celestial logjam o f 1632, either, except that the first coffee shop opened in London. As for the big gathering here in May 2000, I predict that one o f its few specific synchronicities will be a large num ber o f Scorpios either find ing their soulmates or profoundly deepening their existing relationships.

SAGITTARIUS

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Science can play a valuable role in checking the excesses o f astrologers and other imaginative thinkers. Patient astronomers, for example, have refuted

(Nov.

22-Dec. 21): In the fairy tale called “T he Devil with the Three Golden H airs,” an evil king forces the hero to go down into Hell to obtain three golden hairs from the devil’s head. (Remind you o f your own current assignment, Sagittarius?) Luckily, the young m an runs into the devil’s grandm other as soon as he arrives in the netherworld. Feeling sorry for the youth, she agrees to help him , though he has to agree to let her turn him into an ant for a while. Surprisingly, there’s a happy ending. T he crone tricks her grandson not only into relinquishing the hairs, but also pro viding answers to several riddles which later make the hero rich. Keep this story in your heart, dear Centaurs. It’ll soon have parallels to your life.

CAPRICORN

18): Your hom ing signal is hum m ing w ith a rich, loud, clear resonance. At no other tim e in your past or future will it ever be easier to follow than it is now. Therefore I say unto you, Aquarius, drop everything and devote yourself w ith single-m inded passion to carrying out this assignm ent on every level you can imagine: C O M E HO M E!

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): T h in k back to w hat you were doing in January o f 1994, when seven heavenly bodies massed in Capricorn. I believe that during the current planetary conjunction in Taurus, you have a fabulous chance to leap to the next level o f success with any project you launched a little over

the irresponsible prophets who claim that the current planetary conjunction will detonate natural disasters on Earth. O n the other hand, m any scien tists critique astrology in equally care less ways, making bizarre assertions w ithout bothering to learn anything / about the ancient art. I prefer to take a m iddle path between the two extremes, borrowing from the best o f both die rational and mystical approach. I rec om m end a similar approach for you in the coming days, Pisces. N either logic nor intuition alone will steer you through the labyrinth. If you use them together, though, you’ll be invincible. ®

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PWF, 33, 5 ’i i ”, ATTRACTIVE, FITNESS BUFF, adventurous. ISO NS, ND, smart, M w/good sense of humor for dating or LTR. Only athletic M need apply. Letters okay. 2449______ CAN BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN? THIS attrac tive, intelligent, creative DWF, 31, mother, Smoker, has grown weary of boring blind dates. ISO honest, intelligent, fun WM, 3045, personality a must. 2402_______________ ARE YOU LOOKING FOR AN UNINHIBITED SEXY GIRL? My name is Alexis, I am 28 & slender. I LOVE erotic phone conversation. If you would like a photo, leave an e-mail or mailing address... 2408____________________ SWF, 3 1, S’io ” , VOLUPTUOUS FREE-SPIRIT. I believe in magic, nature, innocence and communion. ISO balanced, leftist, silly mate for walks in woods w/dogs, gardening & libations. 2414_____________________________ HAILING FREQUENCIES OPEN: DWF, 38. loves kids, cats, computers, sci-fi, Patriots. Looking for a dinner/movie companion who is honest, caring, intelligent. LTR possible. 2417 AEROBIC ATHLETES TAKE NOTICE SWF, 44, NS, P ISO middle-aged jock for LTR. Must enjoy long runs, hikes, bike rides, XC-skiing & kayaking. Afterwards relax, laugh, delight!

2403___________________________ WISE WOMAN ISO GENTLE WARRIOR, 45+, to celebrate life and love. Relationship based on compassion, honesty, communication, commitment, intimacy, passion, playfulness, wonder. Artistic, socially concious DWPF interested in outdoors, sailing, meditation, yoga, photography, film, music, fitness. 2404 FIT, ACTIVE SPF, 56, OF ECLECTIC INTER ESTS, seldom acts her age. Loves good food, conversation, books, films, also music. Wide-eyed and cynical by turns but ultimate ly optimistic. ISO communicative M. 2418

90 O -

$ 1.99 a minute.

FOUR YOUNG SWM CULINARY STUDENTS ISO fit, young, attractive F(s) to experiment, ful fill fantasies. Clean and discreet. Send letter and photo. 2523__________________________ QUIET, SENSITIVE, NURTURING SM, 36, physician. Novice backpacker ISO younger SF w/similar qualities for weekend Long Trail trips & misc. camping trips around VT. 2522 BUTTERFLY’S SPIRIT WITHIN. CAN YOU grow without being able to see a butterfly’s spirit? Soft life, 4oish, tall, slender, secure, under standing, honest, health mind and body, no games ISO same. 2518_____________________ ONE OF A KIND. DWM, NS, 46, 5’io ”, 195 lbs. Biking, hiking, concerts, museums, etc. ISO attractive, healthy, sexy, honest, sincere female to share quality time with and possibly more? 2509__________________________ SWPM, RUTLAND AREA. 31, ENJOY OUTDOOR activities, movies, dining out or in. ISO SF, 25-38, NS, ND, for stimulating conversation, fun, romance and possible LTR. 2506_______ DWM, CATHOLIC K OF C W/ CHURCH ANNULment. 53, ISO Catholic lady, 41-53, with same status or S to share good times & VT’s spring at my Battery Park home. LTR is my objective. 2507____________________________ WHEREVER YOU ARE, DWM, 40S, 5’9”, 145 lbs., engaging, open-minded, appealing, sexy, proportionate, youthful. Love outdoor activities, movies, sunsets, travel, photogra phy, tennis, bad weather, laughing. ISO interesting, adventurous companion. 2446_______ DWM, 32, OPEN-MINDED VIRGO W/STYLE & grace. Two children. Dancing, light-hearted, good conversation, honest & professionally secure. ISO SF, 25-? for friendship & possibly more. 2469_______________________________ THE GREAT ONE LOOKING FOR QUEEN. You: 18-21. Smart, great smile, loves to watch wrestling, someone that likes to go out on the town, 2464____________________________ DWPM, FIT, ATTRACTIVE DAD, 48, 6’, LOVES music, dancing, blading, outdoor activities, working out. Emotionally available, willing to take risks. ISO happiness & an LTR w/ someone special. 2460__________________________ HANDSOME, 6'4”, 220, BRAND NEW TO Burlington. Just turned 27 & didn’t have a strong, intelligent woman to give him a spanking. Can you help? 2459______________ NUCLEAR PHYSICIST, ANTHROPOLOGICALLY appropriate, deconstructionist, classical, car nival artist. DWM, 48, 6’, 175 lbs. Positive, handsome, hip, open-minded, erudite, spon taneous, procrastinating, stimulating, cos mopolitan hick. ISO interesting F for possible nuclear fusion experiments. 2458___________ SUGAR MAMA WANTED. TALL, BEAUTIFUL SM, 24, ISO older, kinky F for erotic ren dezvous. Must be wiling to experiment in the strange and unknown. Discretion needed and assured. Married OK. 2450_____________ BEAUTIFUL BUT BUSY. 28, ISO FUN, OUTgoing, attractive, fit doll that still knows how to paint the town red. i am a professional that doesn’t have time for games. I love music, skiing, hiking and good food. And fishing. 2448______________________________ CONSCIENTIOUS DAD W/ TODDLER PARTTIME ISO S Mom for friendship/companionship. PM, early 40s, 5 7 ”, 159 lbs., fit, edu cated, idealistic, active. Letters welcome. 2406_____________________________________

m sm m w

800/ 710-8727

QUESTIONS?

Simply call 800-710-872?* When prompted, enteof^’^ ^ c a rd #, Use the s^cvic&felflong as you like. Whomyou hang up, your credit card will be directly billed $>1Js5per min.

LOVELY, LIVELY, INTELLIGENT LADY, 51, IN love with life and laughter. Healthy, fit, size 10, vegetarian, animal lover. Photographer, artist, traveler, masseuse, optimistic adventurer with can-do-anything attitude. 2200

HONESTY & PASSION, QUALITIES I POSSESS. My personality & physical prowess, a cut above the rest. Where are you, the elusive one I search for? Only 30 words allowed, call to learn much more. 2653_________________

DWF, 5 ’6". 60, LOOKS MUCH YOUNGER. PF enjoys dancing, walking, good movies, new experiences, quiet eves, at home. Attractive, easy-going, good sense of humor, affectionate, romantic, enjoy people. 2240__________

SWM, STUDENT, ACTIVE & HEALTHY. ISO motivated, healthy, intellectual, perfect F, 2030, who believes “bedroom toys” includes handcuffs and doesn’t mind lying about her slightly red wrists, for fun LTR. 2650________

ARE YOU OUT THERE? SHE’S 40ISH, attrac tive, sincere, fit, enjoys the outdoors. He’s 48-58, tall, attractive, fit, w/time to share and enjoy what life has to offer. Are you ready? 2234_______________________________

SWPM, 45, ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, athlet ic ISO SF w/similar qualities for long walks on the links at sunset. 2651________________

FRIENDS SAY “YOU NEED A LIFE!” 49. DWPF, workaholic, into dancing, hiking, movies, the gym. ISO NS male who likes to laugh. 2224

IMAGINE ARMS HOLDING YOU FEELING SAFE, intimate and appreciated. SWM, 44, s ’8”, attractive, likes the outdoors. Emotionally lit erate and willing to take risks. If this speaks to you, please call. 2515

ITALIAN STALLION: DWCM, ITALIAN/AMERICAN, 50s, NS, NA. ISO social, extroverted, active Christian lady. Shapely, late 40s, over 5*3”, proportional weight w/interests in church, dining, dancing, social interactions. 2422_____________________________________ FRIENDLY, ATHLETIC, SHY SWM, 38, 5’5’, 135 tbs. ISO younger, active, SWF. Love being active outdoors: running, skiing, biking, hik ing, blading. Honesty a must. Friendship, activities or LTR. 2420_____________________

Dear Lola, M y b o y frie n d is very p ro u d ofj his virility, a n d h e rec en tly sh o w ed it c f f by su p p o rtin g a large g r a p e fr u it b etw ee n his sto m a ch a n d his erect p enis. W hen he c h a l lenged m e to do th e sa m e, I w a s n ’t able to hold u p a n y th in g bigger th a n a to m a to b efo re m y w oody lo st its w ood. Now h e ’s sta rte d callin g m e Tom ato Boy. I t ’s m e a n t in . good fu n , b u t i t ’s really s ta r te d to b o th er m e. Do yo u k n o w o f a n y m e th ods fo r in crea sin g y o u r o rg a n ’s o o m p h ? W eak in W illistcn Dear W eak, Besides Viagra, yo u m e a n ? Sorry to say,

th o u g h m y m in d is u s u ally strong as a steel tra p , th is on e h a s m e

s tu m p e d . P erhaps som e o th er rea d e rs ca n a ssist, i M ore to th e poin t, though, y o u r real p ro b

MY TRACTOR’S SEXY. SWM, 49, 5*11”, 170 lbs., fit, handsome, ambitious, hardworking, NS, ND. Likes animals, country, hiking, movies, Sunday drives. ISO attractive, fit, healthy, sexy, ambitious, honest F for LTR. 2416______________________________________

lem is n ’t a n in s u ffic ie n t- *:

20-SOMETHING, PM, BRIGHT, ATHLETIC, W/ common sense. Keeping an eye out for a smart, attractive, 20-something F w/ fun streak. Athleticism, joie de vivre are bonuses! 2412 ______________________________

m e m b e r in y o u r r e la tio n

ME: SM, GOOD MAN, GOOD PROVIDER, potential Dad material. You: SF who might like a little help. Try me out for size and see if I fit! 2413_______________________________

th a t to m a to es a re also

BIG, CUDDLY TEDDY BEAR, SHY, FUNNY, SWM, 23, 5 ’u , 230 lbs., loves movies, bicy cling, music, art, sci-fi, British comedy. ISO attractive F, 18-34, race, weight, height unimportant. 2410 __________________________ LAZY, CRAZY, BRILLIANT, HANDSOME, imma ture, obnoxious, beer-drinking, cigarette smoking, smelly, homy, loud, affectionate, rebellious, passionate, dirty, adventurous, idiotic, anarcho/primitivist, creative, 5’9”, 160 lbs., un-P WM. ISO weird, hot F. 2421

Or respond th e old-fashioned way: CALL THE 900 NUMBER.

Call 1-9 0 0 -8 7 0 -7 12 7 $ l.9 9 /m in . m u s t b e 18+

ly s t i f f m e m b e r b u t a n in s u ffic ie n tly sen sitive ship. R a th er th a n ris in g to his b a it, r e m in d him

k n o w n as love app les, a n d a sk h im to show so m e loving r e s tr a in t in th e w a y he re fe rs to th e a p p le o f his eye. Love,

\ ****•■ ' : -•

don’t want a charge on your phone bill? call 1-8 0 0 -710 -8 727 4 and use your credit card. 24 hours a day! $ 1.99 a minute, must be 18+. to fly & burn up the stratosphere. 2238

: ;* ;* »

27, DWM, 6’, 210 LBS. LOVE KIDS. TIRED OF headgames. ISO S/DWF, 22-35, who enjoys country, rock music, quiet eves, at home, romance & honesty for friendship/LTR. 2206

n M Q t m y w o n m ,c n n L MATURE/GOOFY, 27. IN BURL ISO ROMANCE or friendship to share the Adirondacks, Montreal, independent record stores, fun, art, giggles, cooking, empathy, sunshine and umbrellas. 2 3 19 ______________________ _ NEANDERTHAL ISO CAVEWOMAN FOR dinosaur hunts, making fire, gathering food, clan activities and other evolutionary activi ties. Should have stone tools, opposable thumbs, large cranial cavity. Homo sapiens encouraged to apply. 2339_________________ WANTED: THE AMERICAN DREAM. IMPERFECT M ISO the perfect F! Take the challenge and amaze me. I’m 23, 6’, 200 lbs., fit. 2336

DWM, 52, ISO 40-52 LADY TO SHARE GOOD times and VT’s Spring. I’m a retired homeowner who enjoys life at my location on Battery Hill to socialize. 2205______________

BiWM, s ’io ”, 185 LBS., RED HAIR, AVERAGE looks & build. ISO D&D free M, 18-46, for discreet good times in Burlington & Rutland at my place. 2652_________________________

LOVERS DONT FINALLY MEET SOMEWHERE, they’re in each other all along. Tall, fit, blond, blue, vegetarian. Deep spiritual long ing, simple country homestead, hard work, rich intimacy, solitude, nature, committed partnership. 2230_________________________

MASCULINE M, 5 ’8", 165 LBS., UNCUT, 40S, brown hair, trimmed beard, hairy chest wants guys for country rides, a few beers, woods, phone fun, watching videos together. Call me. 2645 ___________________________

SPRING FLING...SWM, 39, 6’, 190 LBS., ISO SWF for adventures in the mountains, on the lake, etc. If you’re active, optimistic, educat ed, love dogs and have a wacky sense of humor, give a call for more info, 2227______

SPRING HAS SPRUNG. SWM, 36, ISO SWF, 28-38, to share outdoor activities — hiking, cycling, walks or trying some new adventure 2331______________________________________

M, 21, ISO F COMPANION. CRAZIES OK, IF medicated, but please, no fatties. 2226

DWM, 38, ALL-AMERICAN BOY, GOOD SPORT, good looks, want a friend to do it all with. Love red hair, freckles and cuteness. Where are you? 2330______________________ A BIT CALM, DARING, EARNEST, FRIENDLY Gent, (41) Humbly Implores joyful, Kind, Loving Maiden. No Obligation. Proper Qualification Requires Spirit, Thought, Understanding, Virtue, Wit. X-plain Your Zest. 2325 TOP 10 REASONS TO CALL: FUN, HONEST, P, spiritual, monogamous, intelligent, strongwilled, kind, hard-working, and good w/my imagination. 42, 6’4”, blue eyes, fit. ISO 3045, attractive, fit, happy lady. 2321_________ I STRETCH MY BODY, BRAIN, LOOKING TO stretch my heart. 42, NS, teacher. Smart, tender, athletic, artistic. ISO light-hearted, funny, active, adventurous F. 2276__________ POSITIVE SPIRIT, 6’, 183 LBS., WHO KNOWS growing pains ISO soul mate who is physi cally & mentally healthy in her 40s. Slender to medium. Breathe life, be positive. 2286

WAVEMAKER. LOVES TO PLAY IN THE BOAT. Good-looking M, brain working, ISO orally inclined, erotic playmate. We’ll throw all the toys on the floor, reach down & pick one. 2287_____________________________________ ATTRACTIVE, SWM, 20-SOMETHING, ISO F, of any age for sexploration, no strings attached. Can and will be discreet, same expected. Leave a message & let’s get together! 2285____________________________

SWM, LATE 40S, WOULD LIKE TO MEET A dark-skinned F, 305-40S, who is open, hon est & loves mother nature to explore VT unveiled. Fun in the sun. Burlington. 2277 THE TAX MAN COMETH, 5’io ”, 17 0 LBS. NS, fit, young, 50, w/hair & teeth, dining, danc ing, skiing, sense of humor, good-looking & good w/figures. ISO lady who’s paid her taxes. 2209 WONDER BOY, 38, FIT, DARING, DASHING, ISO Wonder Girl, gorgeous, graceful, strong. Immense curiosity,’resourceful irony & tran scendent physical aptitude have prepared us

BIWM, 29, 5’8w, BLONDE/BLUE, ATHLETIC, attractive ISO S to hang out and do things together. Enjoy tennis, laughing my ass off and having a good time. 2322_____________

FIT SWM, INDEPENDENT, PASSIONATE, enthralled by Monet, Dali, Renaissance art, active outdoor adventures, exploring. Intrigued by fit, confident belay partner to uncover life’s inspirations & destinations. 2217_____________________________________

S&M BUDDIES WANTED! GWM, 35, 6’, 180, handsome, rugged type ISO dominant M, 25-45, to use, punish and humiliate me.

ORANGE/Bl UE, 20, AQUARIAN GIRL CRAVING * an artistic and eccentric F, 20-25, to help * drag me from my closet. 2670 ________ _ * BiWF, STUDENT, 21: DREADS, BOOTS, BICYCLE. ISO Bi or GF w/humor, empathy, backass logic. No prissy girly-girls! I’m anti-car, pro-Merlot, neo-Luddite! Don’t spend the summer twilight alone. 2471________________

* * « * *

37YO WF, 5’10”, 120 LBS., ISO UNATTACHED, hot, bi/curious F, 20-40, for pampering/play. I crave attention while boyfriend is away. 3way play when he’s not. Discretion assured.

t « t ‘

2399___________________________ ‘ Bi-CURIOUS F, 21, ATTRACTIVE, 5 V , 130. ISO fun, uninhibited, attractive bi-sexual F, 20-23, for frivolous, titillating escapade(s). Very open-minded. Please call. 2270

J l I t

mm Mokmq mm ME: ABOUT TO TURN 40 THIS SPRING. STOP l March Madness. ISO good company besides. * Break the Silence because “good romance” • is the best truth & dare of all! 2642________ t HEY DUDES, 35, GWM, MASC ISO SAME. ExAir Force Fireman. Was married to a F (5 years), then commited to another dude for 7 years, i’m s ’io ”, 175 lbs., short brown crewcut, hazel eyes, , ’stache & goatee._Please be masc. & into LTR. Prefer dudes under 35. 2667

HOOP

DREAMS PART 2

page 58

LEFT OUR •SPORADIC SPoRTJBANj AT HALF-

Y ’KNOW, IT ’S KOT JO MUCH THE EVANGELICAL TYPES T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH. THESES HO REASONING WITH THEM , Jo L£TTH£M HAVE THEIR. PAMnJ HElLF jR E . ~ ’

TIM E.

SEVEN DAYS « • *.*, Y 4 « .<«

may 3f 2000

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE TRAINED? DOM M ISO submissive F. You may expect honesty, * trust and respect. Please call to discuss your : needs. I will keep your confidences. 2664 ; SWM, 40, ISO F TO WATCH ADULT MOVIES

* J ® * ‘ * *■

with. Age & race unimportant. Loneliness & * discretion a must. 2514____________________ j I WANT SILENT SEX. I WANT TO SCRIBBLE/ GWM, 39, ISO STRONG-WILLED, INDEPENJ dribble all over your luscious body. Our mas DENT, confident GWM as partner—not other * sive nymphocranium reveals unholy scato half. Possess own interests and friends, will- » logical carnality. Submissive vestal virgin ing to accept mine, functions alone or in * boytoy ISO large possessor. Help yourself! pairs. Someone who lives life. 2232________ * 2521___________________________________ 26, BiCURIOUS WM ISO FIT, ATTRACTIVE M J HAPPILY ENGAGED COUPLE ISO BiF TO to initiate me. Be firm but gentle. Discrettion I assist in making 2 fantasies come true. She essential. No letters. 2165___________________ l very bi-curious, wants to experience being INTELLIGENT, 20, M ISO S TO SPEND TIME • w/F_ His fantasy? To watch. 2520___________ with sharing ideas and life. Must be clean & J PWM ISO F ISO EROTIC FUN. AGE/APPEARinto looking good. Interests: movies, clubs, J ANCE not as important as desire to explore singing, shopping & hanging out. 2225 J erotic possibilities. 2519___________________ VERSATILE, BLONDE, BUILT, HAIRY. 26, 160 J LIVE YOUR BISEXUALITY HONESTLY & JOY lbs., 5*7”, seeks other hairy, built, fun men j OUSLY. Social/discussion gathering of bisex for wrestling, spanking, armpits/nipples. ual M & F. One Saturday evening every Kinky, down-to-earth, playful exploration. * month in Burlington. Contact us for details. Jock daddies/scruffy boys, A +. 2162_________ * 251Z___________________________ SATURDAY MORNINGS AT COSTCO: HOT SWM, 18, ISO SEXY, HORNY F TO HAVE HOT guys working the check out, hot guys stock- » encounters with. 2466____________________ ing shelves. Need to relax after work? This J I TRAVEL THE U SA I’M AN ATTRACTIVE F. I GM will help. 2063________________________ l have fantasies about tying and teasing M or SMART, SAVVY SENIOR SEEKS SIMILAR J F. I also have a nurse fantasy. Discretion a sociable sorts for acquaintanes, possible » must. Not into pain. Love spike heels. 2409 friendship, enjoy conversation, pleasure, sur- * WANNA COME AND PLAY? TWO SWF ISO prises, humor. Eves, in/out, here/there. » Viagra-like M, tall, dark, built, 21-30, who Limited budget, unlimited enthusiasm. 2208 * enjoys physical and hands-on activities. Got a friend? Bring him along, too! 2407_______ SBPM, 30, ISO THRILLING, STIMULATING, educational experience w/ an older F, 50+. I am an energetic, clean, discreet M. Call & fulfill my fantasy. Race unimportant. 2415

LONELY, MaPWM 30, HANDSOME & IN good J SWPM, SUBMISSIVE ISO DOMINANT, strong, shape. Sexually unsatisfied but still in love. * aggressive F for relationship and fun. Let’s Would like to dip toes in new water. ISO J explore together. 2326 MaF who feels the same. Very discreet, call 1 or letter. 2647 “

D y k e S T o W a f d l O v U l f b r b y Alison Beclickl LAST

* EXHIBITIONIST? FLASHER? THRILL-SEEKER? » * Photo bug? Proud of your body? Sound like you? Amateur camera bug wants to practice J skills. Can pose clothed/nude and identity t can remain anonymous. 2668__________

2324__________________________ J

I’M 44, D, 3 KIDS, DESCRIBED AS NICE, * ME SLAVE? YOU MASTER? GIVE A CALL, SIR. easy-going guy. I’m searching for a special j 2323___________________________ lady that wants to start as friends and see if * BiWM, BROWN/BROWN, ISO BiM FOR ADULT it develops into romance, love. 2210 fun at your house on my lunch or on Saturdays. ISO slender, short hair, 18-36, disease-free, white or black. 2214_____________

IT’STHE REST OFTHESE COM PLACENT yAHOof r WANTTo SMACK. WHAT POTHEY believe

•The O u td o o r G ear Exchange • used • closeout • new 19 1 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

and a $2 5 gift certificate to THE DOG TEAM TAVERN Dog Team Rd., Middtebury 388-7651

2673

I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE wrong places. I’m 37, 5*9”, 175 lbs., ISO guy(s), under 40, for fun times. Let’s rock Vermont. 2419____________________________

Aookinqjuxrnmn

NICE-LOOKING, 5*9”, BLUE EYES, 50, athletic, fit, clean, healthy, 162 lbs., fun to be with, romantic, serious, casual, independent, liber al. Desire to share good times, outdoors, and more. 2290___________________________

VERMONT MATE. ENJOY MUSIC, NATURE, exercise, movies, home. I’m from VT, s ’8”, 45. Hoping to meet 4oish F who is emotion ally available, not wealthy, intelligent, kind of shy, Chittenden County. 2279____________

GWM, 45, 5 ’9", 160 LBS., P, STABLE, INDEpendent. Enjoys movies, music, outdoors, traveling & more. ISO potential LTR w/ romantic soulmate, 25-45. Someone to share life with. 2512_____________________________

SWM, 24, 140 LBS., FUNNY, ISO SWF WHO likes music, cars, movies, 420 & kids. Good bdrm. skills a plus. 20-35, no head games. Where have all the good times gone? 2203

Hiker’s Guide to VT from

MATURE & RELIABLE, YET FUNNY & HUMOROUS. VERY ACTIVE & FIT. ENJOY COOK ING & DINING OUT. LOVE TO HIKE, SWIM & DANCE TO ROCK MUSIC. ISO ACTIVE, FIT F, 35-45 TO SHARE THESE THINGS & YOUR LIKES, TOO. WINE & FLOW ERS AWAIT YOU.

GWM, 27, BROWN HAIR, EYES, 5’9”, 140 lbs., swimmers build, enjoy outdoors, travel ing, clubs, cooking. I am tired of the mind games, & l-night stands. I am easy going & love to show my “other” side to the special someone. I also love spoiling my partner w/massages. 2643_______________ _________

DO YOU LOVE THE OUTDOORS? DO YOU love to snuggle? Attractive, athletic & very caring SWPM, 28 ISO honest, fit, emotionally mature F for outdoor adventures & life-long learning. 2221_____________________________

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day

SWPM TO SPOIL YOU...

I’M 23, S & VERY LONELY. ISO GWM, 21-30, to hold, cuddle, love, etc. I am very affec tionate and passionate. ISO LTR. Enjoy music, movies, dining, going for walks. 2644

CONNECTION IS EVERYTHING. I’M 34, TALL, attractive, intelligent, professional, creative, sincere, relationship-oriented. If you’re 25-33, know what connection really is, call, let’s see if we have it. 2237____________________

YOU ON THE HANDLEBARS OF MY BIKE rid ing through the low door in the garden wall to experience Goddess’s bounty & beauty. Spring is coming, shall our spirits dance?I

___________________

SPIRITUAL, SMART, SEXY, 40 ISO FRIENDSHIP & partnership. Loves: gardening, animals, basking in the sun, quiet times, dancing, singing, drumming and making magick! Interested? Intrigued? Say hello! 2657_______

STRAIGHT, SANE, 36, SWM. HANDYMAN looking to help couple and ladies around their homes this spring, becoming friends and fulfilling fantasies. I’m 5’9”, 160 lbs., brown/blue, w/glasses. I’ll supply the labor, if you supply the materials. 2345

iu r ifo im d A WHERE ARE ALL THE MACROBIOTIC FOLKS? I am seeking to connect w/experienced cooks/ practitioners to learn from/with. 2400 NEED NO REPLY, JUST STOP BY WHERE THE South Burlington mall buildings are blue.. I will meet you. Think music. M, 50s, ISO SF, NS, for friendship, let’s visit. 2267

m TUESDAY, 4/25, BOURBON ST. GRILL. YOU: Tall blond, gorgeous smile and 3 friends. Me: Tall, short hair w/son. We traded glances. Can still see your smile. Could we meet? 2655________________________ ,______ GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE, I WAKE thinking of you. I know you want your boys, and that leaves me out. I need, want, miss you. Call me at work. 2672_____________________ GREER’S: AJ, MR. FRIDAY NIGHT LAUNDRY man, did you let everyone see your thong in Miami? If you miss me it’s 125, not 152. 2669____________________ _________ REBECCA 407, I WOULD LOVE TO GET together and get to know you. Give me a call. 2660 _ _ _ _ _ _ ___ _ __ MONTPELIER POW-WOW, 4/22. YOUR NAME is Carmen from S. Burlington. My name is Wendell from Montpelier. I like your chick-adees. You like my dancing. Let’s talk? Please call me! 2658_______________ ______ SOME PIG-TERRIFIC! I SPY YOU IN CENTRAL Park, Smuggler’s Notch, San Francisco, my dreams, the stars, the brilliant sun, my breath. I spy our souls at play. Love, Pippet. 2516

to respond to a personal ad call 1-90 0 -370 -7127

r* *

we’re open 24 hours a day!

$ i. 99/minute. must be 18+.

n ot a Join Seven Days Person-to-Person for an Exclusive

Singles Wine Tasting Saturday, May 6 • 7:30 pm Wine Works’ knowledgeable owners, Brent and Bill, share their expertise and teach you the difference between legs and a nose. Featuring red and white wines from Australia. Dainty delectables provided by Smokejacks. Meet interesting people (like yourself!) while tasting, discussing, and having fun with fine red and white wine. And no disections — but there’ll be lots of anatomy to study!

-o m s

To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.0 . Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

ATTRACTIVE & PETITE SWF, 38, 5*2", 105 lbs., long brown hair, brown eyes. Enjoys music, fishing, camping, fast cars and romantic drives. ISO handsome, slender SWM, 25-38, Send photo w/letter. Box 737 PRETTY FLATLANDER ISO FRIEND, 60+, TO share love of culture, nature, & finer things of lifff*Bbx7 4 d^ ' SWF, 60S, NEW-FASHIONED, IRISH, LOVES words, politics, music, film, theater, sexuality, nature...not necessarily in that order. Accidental potter, deliberate writer. Consider carefully, my mind is open...Box 738________ I’ M 67 WF NS - INDEPENDENT, HONEST, gardener, reader, humorous, not an extrovert. Enjoy intelligent, down-to-earth people. Can we be friends? Box 732____________________ AM I ASKING TOO MUCH? ALL I WANT IS A good-looking M escort for summertime events in Burlington. Me? Blonde, blue, early 40s (look younger), tall, fit. Let’s have fun! Make new friends! Box 733_________________ OPEN YOUR HEART & YOU WILL FIND ME. IF you’re looking for true love, you found me. 50, DWF, LTR w/DWM, 42-52. Who knows what true love is. Box 734_________________ SWF, 23, NEW IN BURLINGTON ISO 23-27, to hang out. Not into party life. Enjoys eating in, art, mostly cuddling. Must be fun & kindhearted. Include photo. Box 725____________

Tickets are $25 per person / $20 for early registration with your free personal ad (see below). Call Hope at 864-5684 for informa tion and tickets. Space is limited fo r this intimate event.

SEVEN DAYS

V£rV a t M

I v i ?, v6Tuptu6'u$,'d6N-------FIDENT, gregarious DF, 30s, old-fashioned qualities, loves children & pets. Needs DM optimist, 40s, w/appreciation of art, intelligence & romantic qualities. Box 711________

dwm, 50s, tALl, healYhy, $Y a b LIe, £piriTUAL, holisitic practitioner desires lady with hypnotic eyes, captivating smile, sensuous feet to canoe, kayak, hike, dance, travel, other, possible LTR. Box 720_______________

ANTI-SOCIAL CRUDE, DISGUSTING & UGLY. Mid 40s, “Gothic.” SWM, smoker, into cemetaries, dark music, horror & literature. ISO one “Gothic” SWF. I’m stuck in Rutland... bored too. Box 710________________________

DEEPLY BEAUTIFUL HEART-CENTERED. Preciously rare. Are you there? I am. 4o’s. Box 713__________________________________

GOOD-HUMORED, FIT, LIBERAL CLOSE TO 60. Still optimistic, literate, well-traveled. Loves books, words, cooking, hiking, music, J.S.B. to B.B.K. ISO reasonably sane 8> fit F, 45+, Central VT. Similar interests. Box 721

VERMONT MAN! SHY, DWM, 43, 5’io ", ISO F, 30-43, to enjoy life w/. Dancing, movies, din ing out, beach or just staying home. NS ND. Box 708

DPF, 48, INTRIGUED BY UFE. ADVENTUROUS, sense of humor, love of arts, socially con scious, ISO M, 40S-50S, who is smart, funny, fit, passionate. Box 706____________________ HIPPIE CHICK ISO COOL DUDE, WHO LOVES the awesomeness of existence, to share hon est to goodness, simple, down-to-solid-earth real times w/. Have 1 child, yupper. Box 698

DO YA CONSIDER YOURSELF BEAUTIFUL? ISO slender F, late 30s, eco-progressive, requiring support/compassion. Early 40s, Adirondacker, romantic, active lifestyle, etc. Integerity, com passion, SOH. Kids/pets friendly. Friendship to start. Box 744_________ ________________ FUNNY, EDUCATED, JM. WELL- READ, NEED engaging conversation, pursue visual arts, bass on a fly rod, jazz, Bach and Krauss. Later 50s, offbeat but fully civilized. ISO LTR w/independent, smart, fit, playful F. Any bkgrd., 47-57. Picture appreciated. Box 735 WM, 35, MONTPELIER AREA. PART AM ., Indian, French, Irish, English, 150 lbs., blue eyes. Never married, ND, NS, Vegetarian. Send photo. Hi, Steve. Box 735

PAVLOV’S DOG SEEKS RECONDITIONING. Tall, fit, SW Alpha M repeatedly beaten by loveless mother, ISO angel of mercy to remove my collar & allow me to stand on two legs. Box 722_________________________ WARM, HANDSOME, FIT, CAPTAIN ISO MATE for love boat. I am a SWPF, 45, 5’9”, Let me spoil you & let’s cruise the beautiful waters of L. Champlain this summer. Box 723 WM, 21, INCARCERATED. JUST BECAUSE I made a mistake doesn’t mean I am a bad guy! ISO SF, 18-30 for correspondence to share thoughts & help ease the loneliness. Box 717__________________________________ ISO FUNKY JEWESS, EARLY 40S, 5’4*+. LETS see—when I walked out this morning I thought I had everything...oops! I forgot to get married. Box 718______________________ SWM, 34, 5’7”. 156 LBS., HANDSOME & handy, successful, honest, wild. ISO petite, attractive, adventurous F, 25-35. To become queen of my castle. Box 709_______________ I AM ONLY MORTAL HOW THEN CAN I SWAY you to write w/so few words? Attempt #1: Spring has this message for you: shake off the solitary, wintery darkness and write to another kind and searching soul. Barely 41, tall, medium build. Box 712

P L 49. IN LOVE WITH NATURE, THE ARTS, spiritual practice, personal & P growth and my two cats. Seeks dance of companionship/ LTR w/ NS kindred spirit. Box 739__________ GWF, 38, SMOKER, ISO MATURE, POSITIVE, spiritual, ND, GWF w/interest in books, cats, hiking and long conversations over coffee. Sincerity, honesty and communication a must. Friendship first. Box 728

ARENT THERE ANY NS, BURLINGTON-AREA, 31-37, GWPM’s who are looking for friendship/dating/LTR? My magic 8-ball says “signs point to yes.” I know I can’t be the only lonely heart around. Besides, you’ve made worse gambles w/5 bucks! Box 716_________ LOOKING FOR A DATE? WILL YOU DATE ME? I have brown eyes and hair, 200 lbs. I would like to have a relationship in or out or around North East Kingdom. P. S. I won’t mind dating a blck man. Box 741

dWn/i, 40s, 6’i" , r o u g h , t l In Ib L^ M e , e d u , neat, clean, lean, spare, masc., ND, NS, tee & cut-offs style. Loves outdoors, hobbies, beer, bike, swim. Spring is here, who will join me? Box 731

HEY 2 2 7 1, YOU SOUND REALLY NICE. WANT to give me a try? I am 30, voluptuous, blond w/ big beautiful hazel eyes. 81 big, beautiful everything else, Experienced+++!! Box 743 MaM LOOKING FOR A LOVER THAT WONT blow my cover. Central VT area. If you are F, average-to-slender build and like candle light and sensual massage, lefs get togeth er. I’m a WM, mid 40’s, 5 7 ”, 165 lbs., great shape and not hard to look at. Box 745 LE TS PARTY TOGETHER. SWM, MID 30’S. Good build and looks. ISO slender ladies, 25-40, who like myself, enjoy good compa ny, passionate kisses 81 the feeling of lovemaking. Me very clean, nice guy. Box 742

DWF, 50S, FROM EUROPE, NS, PETITE, attractive, independent, secure. Like the out doors, dancing, travel, dining out, good con versations. ISO fit SPM for friendship. Let’s meet. Box 726

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice m ail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w / $ 5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, V T 05402. LOVE IN CYB ER SPA CE. PO INT YOUR W EB BROW SER TO h t t p ://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM TO SU BM IT YOUR M ESSA G E O N -LIN E. IT if t

u r ad

How to place your FREE: personal ad with Person to Person ♦FILL OUT THIS FORM AND MAIL IT TO: PERSONALS, P.O. BOX 1 t 6 4 , BURLINGTON, VT 0 5 4 0 2 OR FAX TO c ir c l e a p p r o p r ia t e category b e l o w . Yo u w ill r e c e iv e y o u r b o x # & pa s s c o d e by mail . D e a d l in e : F ridays at n o o n .

802.865.101 s. P l e a s e

♦ F ir s t 30 w o r d s a r e FREE with P e r s o n to P e r s o n , a d d it io n a l w o r d s a r e $ 2 ea ch extra w o r d . ♦ Fr e e RETRIEVAL 24 HOURS A DAY THROUGH THE PRIVATE 8 0 0 #. (DETAILS WILL BE MAILED TO YOU WHEN YOU PLACE YOUR AD.) IT'S SAFE, CONFIDENTIAL AND FUN! RECORD YOUR PERSONAL MESSAGE RECEIVE YOUR EASY INSTRUCTIONS I|si MOT RETRIEVE RESPONSES r

How to respond to a personal ad: ♦ C h o o s e y our favorite a d s a n d n o t e t h e ir b o x n u m b e r s . Y O ^R ^ r' e DIt ' cARD7 1 2 7 f r o m a TOUCH-TONE PHONE. 1 -9 0 0 # BLOCK? CALL 1 -8 0 0 -7 1 0 -8 7 2 7 TO CHARGETO

Confidential Information (W E N E E D T H IS TO R U N Y O U R A D )

may 'b r o w s e aHsEp e c !fic categor Vp u n c h

,N THE 4 *D,OIT BOX # OF THE AD YOU WISH T0 RESPOND TO, OR YOU

Name

♦ C alls c o st $ 1 .9 9 p e r m in u t e . You m u st b e over 18 y e a r s o l d . _

Ad d r e s s , C ity Z ip

♦ Ad s in LETTERS ONLY s ec tio n (3 - d ig it b o x #) can b e co n ta c te d only t h r o u g h t h e mail . S eal y o u r RESPONSE IN AN ENVELOPE. WRITE THE BOX # ON THE OUTSIDE AND PLACE IN ANOTHER ENVELOPE WITH $5 FOR EACH RESPONSE. ADDRESS TO : PERSONALS, C/O P.O. BOX 1 1 6 4 , BURLINGTON, VT 0 5 4 0 2 .

Sta te . p h o n e

P l e a s e , a v a lid a d d r e s s , a n d p l e a s e w r it e c l e a r l y . *JfLAD EX C E E D S 3 0 W O R D S , S E N D 0 2 PER E X T R A W O RD, ___ ITS IS SOLELY __________ _______ _ _A 0ETA 6 a Fn I t S E V E N -OES RESULTING PROM OR CAUSED BY A ________ SON*_TO V. eSR SON "a DV E R n I S llE H T .AN D VO IC E KSON TO PER SOW ADVERTISEMENT a n d v o ic e m e s s a g e .

Guidelines ;

. . . SEEKING TO BU Y OR SELL SEXUAL SERVIC ---------------— ----------- ONE N t.........................

Four FREE weeks for:

Two FREE weeks for:

WOMEN SEEKING MEN

M e n S e e k i n g W o m en W o m e n S e e k i n g W o m en M e n S e e k in g M e n

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may 3, 2000

SEVEN DAYS

page 59

StrategIM provides strategic information management (IM) consulting and remote software development. Founded in 1999 and based in Burlington, StrategIM manages a global supply chain that includes: facilities in India and Ireland and a strong local team of consultants, programmers and designers.

We are looking for qualified and dynamic individuals to fill the following positions: • • • • • • • •

Consultant Programmer Graphic Designer Recruiter Receptionist Executive Assistant AR/AP Specialist Comptroller

W e are an equal opportunity employer

For more information please visit:

http://www.strategim.com/jobs Submit resumes by mail to:

StrategIM Corporation 110 Main St., 4/fl Burlington, Verm ont 05401 Or by email to:

vtcareers@ strategim .com

No Phone C a lls Please