Seven Days, May 19, 1999 by Seven Days

O pen L etter

t o a ll

B u r l in g t o n R e s id e n t s

R e g a rd in g the P ro p o se d S h aw ’s S u p erm ark et on P in e S tre e t

As you may know, we have spent the last 18 months working with City officials, residents and business owners in an attem pt to develop a downtown Shaw ’s Supermarket. We are very encouraged by the reception we have received, and want to thank those we have met for their feedback. We particularly appreciate the reception we have received from the residents at 101 College Street and 230 St. Paul Street where over 150 residents signed a petition in support for our project. We have listened carefully to specific concerns o f residents and want to address some o f those concerns, and ask for additional feedback. O n e c o m m o n ly a s k e d , q u e s t i o n i s w hy we d o n 't b u i l d o u r s t o r e in th e c e n tr a l b u s i n e s s d i s t r i c t . From the beginning, one o f our goals has been, and continues to be, the development o f a store that will serve the needs o f all the downtown and the Old North End. While we would prefer to build on a site within the central business district or in the Old N orth End itself, there are no available sites that meet the store size requirements necessary to offer the full range o f goods and services that today’s customers demand. We remain committed to serving the- needs o f the downtown and Old North End and intend to do so by implementing the following: As an interim measure, when the Price Chopper on Cherry Street closes in June, Shaw ’s will institute a subsidized shuttle bus to the Shaw ’s Colchester store. We are also working with the CCTA to extend the “ W inooski L o o p ” to the Colchester store. We are w orking with CCTA to modify the “ Old N orth End L o o p ” (O NE) to stop at our proposed Pine Street store. Arrangements will be made to create a public transportation bus stop and bus shelter adjacent to the entrance o f our new store. The Lakeside Loop will also stop at our new store. Shaw ’s is intending to implement a bus shuttle service to senior citizen housing com plexes, other residential facilities, and other areas that are under-served by the CCTA. As they have done in other urban communities, Shaw ’s will also institute home delivery service. We believer with die ‘a bove proposed change?,’fcustofffgfi froirTall o f BlitlingtdQ’s inner core and the O ldjN orth End will be well served r—v * A n o th e r c o n c e rn i s t r a f f i c . We agree that Pine Street currently has some serious traffic problem s. Accordingly, we will be m aking significant road improvements to Pine Street, at no cost to tax-payers, by adding coordinated traffic signals with pedestrian w alk buttons at M aple Street, H ow ard Street and the new Shaw ’s entrance driveway. These improvements will dram ati cally improve traffic flow on Pine Street and greatly enhance pedestrian safety. These improvements will be made without widening Pine Street. As a result, the implementation process will not adversely affect the neighborhood or disrupt businesses along Pine Street during construction. We are also currently working with our traffic engineer to study and devise traffic calming measures that will keep additional traffic out o f the immediate neighborhood to the east, thereby m aking the neighborhood safer and more pedestrian friendly than it is today. Our desire is to build a store that will provide residents with convenient one-stop shopping with top quality products available at affordable prices. Shaw ’s will employ over 200 full- and part-time employees, creating good and flexible job opportunities for area residents. W e 'd l i k e t o h e a r f r o m y o u . Please give us a call toll-free at 1-888-553-2277 with your feedback. We value all comments and suggestions and welcome your help as they all continue to assist us in improving this project. Sincerely, G en e

B e a u d o in

F e ld c o

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D e v e lo p m e n t

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the w eekly read on Vermont new s, views and culture 1

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly STAFF WRITER Erik Esckilsen ART DIRECTION Donald Eggert, Tara Vaughan-Hughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ PERSONALS

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Consider “The Interrogation of a Mime” and “Conversation Between Bill Clinton and Confucius.”

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Lights, Camera, Compromise? Can Vermont p a s s the Hollywood screen test? By Paula R o u tly ....................................................................page 8

Fast Forward Film : While other Vermont film m akers p lay a t rural, D avid Gian c o la ’s a ll action - an d reeling in the c ash By Erik E sck ilse n .................................................................. page 9

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What tw o Star Wars characters w ould produce the m ost in te re s t in g offspring? Chewbacca and iabba the Hut. — Steve Benje Engineer Burlington Yoda and Princess Leia. — Clay Awodey Student, Burlington High School Burlington

Scott Kerner Video clerk

‘AWARENESS’ AFTER ALL Just to follow up on your story about the problems at Mount Mansfield High School [“Out of Bounds?” April 28] and subse quent letters: At the May 3 Mount Mansfield Union High school meeting, chaired by students, it was announced to a packed house of parents, teachers and communi ty that Awareness Week is post poned until later this month. A letter was sent from the adminis trative office and signed by Supt. Conley. It lists as the first reason for the earlier cancellation the dis organization of the speaker’s com mittee, although both students and faculty advisors claim this is not true. And the students have also been correcting themselves if they call it “Diversity” instead of “Awareness” Week. And the letter does refer to calls criticizing the presentation “on the homosexual lifestyle.” But it ends with: “Prejudice and intolerance towards any stu dent and/or any citizen within our school will not be accepted or tol erated.” And there was encourag ing talk of sensitivity training for the administration at the meeting. Finally, giving the students and staff their due, they are once again hard at work, in the middle of proms and graduation prepara tions, bringing Awareness Week to die- school; fpr — Nat Harrison ■

Montpelier Chewbacca and R2-D2. — Wendy Real Student/bartendress Burlington

Cam bridge

I LIKE VINCE Vince Illuzzi is my friend, and I’m writing to thank you for your recent piece about him [“Invinceable?” May 5]. I some

times wonder why I feel as affec tionate as I do toward Vince, given that I occupy a slot in Vermont’s political conversation which is inadequately described as “leftwing.” Perhaps I like him because our first words were spoken in the same Mediterranean language. I suspect, though, that it is more likely because I know he has never forgotten for whom he works. Although I am very much a Democrat, I can’t imagine not casting a vote for Vince if he ever asked me to. — Paul Bogosian Weathersfield Bow

WELL-BEING FOR HYDE PARK? John Holt says that intelligence is an open, positive attitude toward life. Openness and a positive atti tude often do go hand in hand. When the two prevail in govern ment, there is likely to be a sense of quiet well-being and subtle peacefulness that permeates com munity life. When those who govern have motives and attitudes that are per ceived positively by one segment of the community but negatively by the rest of it, there is a need to find consensus or there is a need to skillfully deceive non-believers in order to maintain tranquility. In these delicate situations, it is ill advised to iinstall an honest, rigid, insecure, underachieving male to head the parade. Despite being particularly adept at discerning the difference between right and wrong, such a fellow, when placed in a position of power, will inevitably become a political time bomb. When he is through leading

B ur Vour T ick et* NOW — D iscounts End May 3 0 !

his community, it will be harder to put back together than Humpty Dumpty after the great fall. Why is disaster inevitable? Honesty rules out needed deceit! Rigidity and insecurity eliminate flexibility and an easy-going man ner, both of which are needed to cope effectively with ideological adversaries. With effective ways of leading having thus been eliminat ed, there is a strong tendency to respond to non-believers with an authoritarian, no-nonsense lack of openness that can be seen and easi ly sensed. This lack arouses suspi cion and engenders deep mistrust. The dark shadow within people begins to emerge, communication breaks down and the community splits into opposing camps. Was the Hyde Park school board right? Or wrong? Did it help the school become a better or a worse place for children to learn? Did it spend money wisely or fool ishly? Did it hire a good principal or a bad one? Though these issues may still cause disagreement, they will soon be fading into the fringe. The central concern will become the nature and quality of political life. Both camps agree that the poli tics in Hyde Park have degenerated into something that is pathetic at best. The responsibility for this lousy state of affairs rests with those who govern: Political failures cannot be blamed on the gov erned. In Hyde Park, the hidden power of the dark side of human nature has been inflamed by politi cal ineptness. The strengthened shadow is on the prowl: Putting this genie back in the bottle won’t

be easy. It may be a long time before an open, positive attitude again comes to define political life in Hyde Park. — George Portceby for Hyde Park Citizens Hyde Park

CORRECTION: It has come to our attention that Ira Allen is not buried in Greenmount Cemetery, as report ed in our story, “Dead Reckon ing,” in the May 5 issue. The Allen brother moved out of state — reportedly one step ahead of the tax collectors — and is buried in a pauper’s cemetary in Philadelphia. Sorry if our error caused anyone to turn in their grave.

Letters Policy: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 250 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in Seven Days. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. fax: 865-1015 e -m ail: se v e n d ay @ to g e th e r.n e t

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may 19, 1999

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Junk Journalism-

And that’s a hell of a difference.” Even though Professor Randall has made the As if the current events of war and murder national media rounds frequently with his bio aren’t enough, there’s always history to stir the graphical scholarship, the only call he’s received soul. since the “Tom and the Slave Love-Child” story Just when you thought Bill Clinton had the broke six months ago came from CN N last week. fastest zipper in White House history, out Although Free Willy was interviewed via satellite popped the story that President Thomas hookup at WCAX, he did not make the airwaves. Jefferson had a problem keeping his fly buttons A C N N producer in Atlanta confirmed that. buttoned. And instead of a White House intern, “I’m not sure why we didn’t use it,” she told Tom Jefferson allegedly dallied with a teenage Seven Days. black slave girl. Randall knows why. It’s because the press The story about Tom’s “Johnson” broke the doesn’t want to hear what he has to say. It screws Sunday before last November’s up the whole spicy script. election. Local Jefferson biogra “I’ve been the lonesome pher Willard Stern Randall saw end out here,” says Randall. it as a thinly veiled attempt to “When I see junk journalism bolster Clinton’s defense, “as if to being done it really bothers say, ‘If Jefferson could play me. around, what’s wrong with Billy Year of the Blue Dogs!!! — boy doing it?”’ The party’s over. The partyThe story o f Jefferson’s coital goers have all gone back to exploits hit the front pages again their homes. And two things over the weekend as descendants are perfectly clear: Howard of the alleged union between Mr. Dean still runs this state and Jefferson and Miss Sally Michael Obuchowski’s days as Hemings attended the annual Speaker of the House are meeting of the Jefferson family’s numbered. Monticello Association. They In the end, Obie backed wanted their seat at the Jefferson down in his head-to-head family table along with their confrontation with Ho-Ho. white relations. Instead, the He’d tried to portray their Associated Press reported dust-up as a constitutionally Monday morning, not only did sanctioned scuffle between the white folks not let the black branches of government. folks join the family, they even Powerball was merely the sym blocked a vote to give the black BY PETER FREYNE bol. But it was about power, folks “honorary membership and it was personal. while a paternity claim is From Day One in January, researched.” it was apparent Gov. Howard Dean was the de Jesus, nothing like a little racism at home to facto speaker of the House. With his pack of complement the ethnic cleansing overseas. frisky Blue Dog Democrats led by Rep. Michael But what if it isn’t true? What if the media’s Flaherty of South Burlington, Ho-Ho was able to got it wrong? both dictate and control the flow of key legisla tion. The Blue Dog block of 12-20 moderate Democrat votes, aligned with the Republicans, more unpleasant moments a journalist experi easily deflated the muscle of the Democrat ences occurs when the juicy tip one’s received majority. And Speaker Obie was never able to from a “source”.— one that would catch a politihandle these pups. ' cian or public figure engaged in lying, cheating, The joke at the Statehouse last week was, stealing or worse — turns out to be fiction. “Ralph Wright’s book has 13 chapters, but Obie According to Burlap’s distinguished author of only read the first 12.” Speaker Ralphie departed Jefferson: A Life (as well as bios of Benjamin the political stage in 1994. Franklin, Benedict Arnold — yours truly’s “Obviously, they don’t know how to cut favorite — and George Washington), that’s pre throats,” said one veteran, thick-skinned lobbyist, cisely what’s happening here. “It’s junk journal scornfully describing Obie and his top lieu ism,” says Will Randall, and he’s steaming over it. tenants Rep. John Tracy and Rep. Matt Dunne. Take note, Professor Randall is no three-mar “They’re too kind,” said Thick-Skinned. “It was a tini, cloistered don o f ivory tower academia.. tragedy watching it unfold.” Before indulging his passion for history, Randall Politics is about exercising control, about worked for 18 years as an investigative reporter in wielding power. The Democratic House leader the nitty-gritty newsroom of the Philadelphia ship was unable to do so this year. Instead, the Inquirer. He deeply respects the role and respon Blue Dogs played the power hand and played it sibility of America’s free press as well as the price well. O f course, they had a great winning coach paid to achieve it. And Free Willy’s steaming over in the governor’s office — Howard B. Dean the way today’s press is so eager to swallow the M.D. “President and the Slave Mistress” story. It’s like In his book, All Politics Is Personal, the leg O.J. without the bloody glove. And it’s a much, endary Ralph Wright of Bennington had a pretty much better story if it’s true. good take on Ho-Ho. “NPR led Monday’s “All Things Considered” Winning starts with the idea that you're not with the announcement of the meeting of the going to lose. Governor Dean has never spent any Jefferson family,” notes Free Willy. “They said it significant amount o f time mulling that possibili as if it was absolutely clear that Jefferson had ty. More important, he isn't afraid to lose...It’s fathered the slave girl’s children.” the ingredient that is anabsolute must fo r a war The alleged assignation, says Randall, would rior. And i f Howard Dean is anything, he’s a have had to occur when the two resided in the warrior. same geographical area. That narrows the possi Obie isn’t. He’s a real nice guy, but in politics, bility to 1782 at Monticello when Hemings was when you get things all lined up, you’ve got to pull eight years old, or 1788, when at 13, Sally, the the trigger. No guts, no glory. Already there’s talk little sister of Jefferson’s chef, sailed to Paris. of who will be the next House Speaker come Randall tells Seven Days, Sally Hemings didn’t 2001. The name “Mike Flaherty” keeps popping give birth to her first child until the age of 22. up. He knows that, he says, because he’s seen the Come January 2000, the second year of the Hemings’ family’s genealogical chart. biennium, Speaker Obie returns to the House Randall points out Nature, the British maga podium as the impotent champion of the liberal zine that broke the story “proving” a DNA link subset of the Vermont House. The force is no between Sally’s offspring and Tom Jefferson, longer with Vermont’s Obi-Wan Kenobi. Howard retracted it in January. “They did prove it was a Dean will remain in charge of the legislative Jefferson,” says Free Willy, but not the Jefferson. agenda. Just like he was this year. ®

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SEVEN DAYS

page5

Odd, strange, curious and weird but true news items from every corner of the globe

Too Hot to Handle Firefighters searching Colognes Hyatt Hotel during a fire found a man, whom German law enforcement authorities identified only as a “senior German business execu tive,” tied spread-eagled to the bed and gagged. They said he had hired a 28-year-old dominatrix for the evening, but when she heard the guest in the suite next door screaming fire, she ran out on her client.

Dub! Welder Concepcion Casya, 37, found a small, candy cane shaped rod on the ground at a hydroelectric plant construction site in Peru’s Junin state. He put it in his back pocket and kept it there for six hours before taking it home and showing his family. The rod was radioactive, caus ing Casya to become seriously ill and require surgery to remove damaged tissue from his buttocks.

S c ie n c e Answ ers Nature’s C a lls Japanese researchers invent ed an electronic alarm they said stops children from wetting the bed. The machine measures a child’s brain waves and moni tors the bladder. When the machine senses it’s time to go, the alarm sounds, sending the child to the toilet. • Swiss researchers developed a device to toilet-train cows.

London’s Daily Telegraph report ed that when a cow raises its tail to go, sensors attached to the tail are activated. A pneumati cally powered stirrup lowers around the cow’s neck, guiding the animal toward a “toilet grille.” There the waste falls through an opening in the floor. Cows need only two or three weeks of training to learn to move to the grille on their own, according to Matthias Schick, the inventor o f the Friendly Animal Trainer. The only draw back, he noted, is that when one cow triggers the sensor, pre viously trained cows rush the toilet grille all at once.

detected in a number of European water sources, accord ing to the journal New Scientist. Authorities said the drugs are excreted in human urine that enters the water supply. • Confirming a common belief among Brazilians that the best coffee grown in their country is exported, leaving the dregs for domestic consumption, a lab analysis of 19 leading brands of coffee conducted by the Brazilian Association of the Coffee Industry found them to be contaminated with sand, cereal, flour, caramel and corn husks. One brand, Cafe Belem, also contained rat droppings.

Secret Ingredients

Likely Story

Eleven Shanghai restaurants admitted seasoning their Mongolian hot-pot soup with opiates to hook customers, according to the Wen Hui Bao newspaper. Although the Communist Party newspaper Youth Daily condemned the practice, the Wall Street Journal reported the fiery red-pepper concoction is a favorite among Shanghai’s yuppies, who often order their hot-pot with “special seasoning” — dried seed pods from the opium poppy. The Journal noted that some restau rants which claim to lace their soup with opium actually serve the poppy-like pods of a com mon herb to avoid fines and criminal charges. • Pharmaceuticals have been

Washington, D.C., police charged Fred Benevento, 47, with possessing 13 plastic bags of crack cocaine, even though the suspect assured arresting officers that the 13 bags found in his Buick “came flying through the window, and he was just looking at them” when he was stopped.

Rock On After a prominent boulder tumbled down a ravine during construction of the 24-mile Eastern Toll Road in California’s Orange County, the highway construction company, Silverado, built a 12-foot-high replacement. The $10,000 fake boulder overlooking the toll road was made with chicken

wire, reinforcement rods and concrete, according to Silverado President Pat Stricklin, who added, “I think it looks nice sit ting up there.”

cal computers, high-speed switches, communications sys tems, television displays and night-vision devices.

Auto Erotica

Horse Play Zachary Briseno filed a law suit in Santa Maria, California, charging that his boss at an adult book shop made him sub mit to being spanked with “a sex-object-type horse riding crop” every time “he failed to properly operate the cash regis ter.”

Slow er Than a Speeding Bullet Researchers announced they have succeeded in slowing the speed of light from 186,171 miles per second to about 38 miles an hour. The next goal for Danish physicist Lene Vestergaard Hau, her two Harvard University graduate students and Steve E. Harris of Stanford University is 120 feet an hour, Hau told The New York Times, explaining, “We’re getting the speed of light so low we can almost send a beam into the system, go for a cup o f cof fee and return in time to see the light come out.” The achieve ment has potential uses in opti

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Buster Mitchell, 28, applied at the Knox County, Tennessee courthouse for a marriage license, hoping to marry his 1996 Mustang GT. After a clerk rejected his application, Mitchell said he would try a couple of wedding chapels in the Great Smoky Mountains, noting, “Well, in California they are doing same-sex mar riages. So we are here in

Tennessee. Why can’t we do the good ol’ boy thing and marry our cars and trucks?”

Mother of the Year A 42-year-old Florida woman was sentenced to 30 years in prison for taking her teen-age daughter to visit her new 27-year-old husband in jail, then forcing the girl to per form sex acts with her in the jail visiting room while the husband watched through a window. ®

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Fat C hance ek!]\xsx. 226 days to go before the big Zero Zero Zero, and the only thing IVe stocked up on so far is body fat. I’ve been sitting at my desk since January writing The Book That Wouldn’t Die. When I’m not writing, I’m eating, so you can imagine — well, you can imagine. I think this is what they mean when they say “rub ber tire.” Mercifully, owing to my no-longer-invariably-fatal Chronic Manageable Illness and the gallons o f rarefied rat poison I ingest every day to keep AID S in its place, I’m entitled to claim that my spreading middle is actually “protease paunch,” a medication-related condi tion in which abnormal fat deposits collect around what everyone is pleased to call “my gut.” Protease paunch is the same as “Crix belly,” Crix being short for the protease inhibitor Crixivan, which I’m sure ought to have one o f those “® ” marks around it, but they can go ahead and sue me. Merck, the maker o f Crixivan, enjoyed an 18.9 percent rise in profits in 1997, the last year for which figures are available, for a total $26.3 billion dol lars. So many more people have needed the junk since then, God knows, but the price o f not dying hasn’t fallen accordingly. The drug companies insist that they can’t lower the price o f A ID S or any medications because it would interfere with “research and develop ment,” not that they’ve ever developed anything without a giant subsidy from the federal government. The Feds — that is, “you” — currently pay for research, development an d testing o f new medications, while the pill manufacturers pocket the results free and clear. So -much for “market forces” and “deregulation.” My cholesterol count has gone haywire, too, another insidious side-effect o f the wonder drugs. Having been told for 10 years to eat anything and everything with fat in it in order to avoid wasting away to nothing, I’m now told to eat lettuce and sawdust and, if I like, a delicious carrot or

two at bedtime. “You don’t want to drop dead o f a heart attack after all this time,” the doctors tell me, “heh heh heh!” I should only be grateful I don’t have “buffalo hump,” they say, where the fat gathers in a ' blob between the shoulder

:; •; tickets, set us back about three years on our prudent savings plan, money that might well have been thrown into the stock mar ket to shore up Social Security. At Reagan National, the new US Airways terminal is

I’m vain, but I’m not quite ready for liposuction. 1 blades quicker than you can say Quasimodo. I’m vain, but I’m not quite ready for liposuction. Anyhow, to make a thin story fatter, I jum p about three feet in the air every time I see my naked image in the mirror. You can make what jokes you like about this; I can only assure you, it was not always the case. My beloved partner, with out whom I am nothing, recently started “working _ out” again. He forbids me

peculiarities, but admits to being annoyed by the “unnecessary buffness” he sees at the gym. Good chil dren o f human services, we both agree that we have some body image work to do. We also have some deep shame issues standing in the way o f our spiritual growth, but they can’t be resolved without help from Glinda, the Witch o f the North. And you girls have just got to understand that. Forgive my frivolous tone, but I’ve just spent a three-day weekend at the Hilton Hotel in Crystal City, Virginia, an indescrib able warren o f cul-de-sacs and concrete bunkers that looks like a transplanted “Twilight Zone” set and serves as an upscale shop ping and convention center for the recently renamed — can you stand it? — Ronald Reagan National Airport outside Washington, D .C. People have been known to enter Crystal City and never emerge again; if you doubt it, I suggest you try driving from the airport to the Hilton with or without a map. I guarantee you won’t get there either way. We finally had to call in a heli copter, which, combined with the cost o f our airplane

an oppressive, mock-millen nial calamity in puke-yellow steel, where you can buy a low-fat blueberry muffin for $6.95 before having your knees rammed up to your chin in a roaring sweatbox for as many hours as it takes to shovel you home. For this you get a handful o f peanuts :— and that’s if you buy eight months in advance. On Sunday, the first-class passengers were complaining that there was no room in the cabin to — hang their furs, while the rest o f us would have been more comfortable, I swear, in the overhead bin. They wouldn’t let me on the plane at all until I gave them my “office number.” “I’m self-employed,” I said. “But we need a business phone.” “That is my business phone,” I protested, before giving them the number for the switchboard operator at Buckingham Palace. It’s a fitting tribute to the Reagan presidency, the most disas trous event in American his tory since the Civil War. I’m unable even to sputter any longer about the bloat ed mass o f greed and usury to which America has been sold, but when the bubble pops, I predict, a swarm o f sequined pigeons will fly over the country pooping leaflets with Reagan’s pic ture on them. There will be only one message: SU CK ERS! In the meantime', I don’t want to hear another word about Kosovan refugees until the airlines install bathrooms you can stand up in. Tasteless? I’m so sorry. Fat deposits must have col lected on my brain, but in this, at least, I’m not alone. ®

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t’s been 12 years since Vermont and Hollywood parted ways over a memorable “scene” with Don Johnson. Montpelier decided the Florida-based actor should pay Vermont income tax on his earnings from Sweetheart's Dance, which was shot on location in Hyde Park. Word got out among actors, producers and directors nationwide that the Green Mountain State was not “film-friendly” — a rat ing that did more damage to our rep than weather reports from the subzero set o f Ethan Frome, shot in Peacham five years later. Although the punitive tax has since been repealed, and the Vermont Film Commission was established three years ago to court and service studios, Vermont has not seen any major studio-funded motion-picture action for over a decade. The coincidence o f two bigbudget movies — M e M yselfand Irene and What Lies Beneath — coming to Vermont in the next four months suggests Hollywood may be reconsidering the state as a serious setting. Certainly no one in the department o f tourism is going to complain about fullpage ads in The New York Times. Vermont Film Commission Director Loranne Turgeon deserves major credit for the turnaround. Formerly o f DreamWorks, she is the Madeleine Albright o f moviemaking in Vermont, working tireless ly to smooth the bumpy road north. But Turgeon is the first to admit 22A is still no Sunset Boulevard. Here in Vermont, even Harrison T ord has to stop for Act 250 permits, local zoning meetings and the occa sional angry citizen crying, “N ot in my backyard.” What lies beneath, in this case* is a fundamentakculture clash. “What makes Vermont such a great place to live is the same thing that makes it very difficult for peo ple in the film business,” Turgeon says. Behind those quaint general stores'and beautiful countryside is a patchwork o f local governments, each with its own priorities, politics and zoning laws. “I have to go out and talk to community leaders in every single town, and ask, ‘Can I show your town to film people?’” Turgeon says. After more than a year on the job as go-between, she says with some exasperation, “I can no longer assume a community wants a movie.” N o less challenging is explaining Vermont to studio execs, who wouldn’t know a select board from a checker board. Along with bot tom-line costs and 24-hour service,

involved,” Turgeon says. DreamWorks must have been disappointed to learn it would need an Act 250 permit to build a temporary mansion at the D.A.R. State Park in Addison, which involved deconstructing an existing structure and then putting it back together again. Nor could it have been enthused when a few down-home folks positioned themselves to profit from the situation. “It was handled in typical Vermont style. Everybody came together, including Senator Elizabeth Ready, and reached an understanding o f how best to accommodate the concerns in the community,” says Rep. Matt Dunne o f Hartland. He and Ready — the Democratic senator from Addison County — worked together to speed up the permit process. Ready did “a lot o f legwork,” according to Dunne, to bring the two sides together. “I had to say to these movie people, ‘Now, wait a minute. You are not going to go in there with guns blazing,”’ Ready says. “People in Vermont expect to have a say on things. That is not going to change. Don’t tell me how much money is at stake. People have a right to their opinion. It’s their town.”

n the past few weeks, 15 Vermont towns in Addison and Chittenden counties have been weighing the pros and cons o f being official film “locations.” Me M yselfand Irene, about a state cop with an identity problem, is negotiating with Colchester, Richmond, Milton and the Ben & Jerry’s plant in Waterbury, among other spots. *W hat Lies Beneath is sticking close to the lake in Addison, although both movies have. Middlebury ihoots

“they are-concerned about getting FOCUSED ON FILM Vermont Film “Commissioner” Loranne Turgeon the Cooperation o f everyone V • tr;

planned. Some select board members count up the cappucci nos that will be consumed, and argue eloquently about the positive economic impact on local businesses. “A lot o f money gets spent,” says Peter Letzelter-Smith, a local set dresser on the Carrey movie who also heads up the New England Film Technicians Union. “That’s the good part,” he adds. “Everything from hardware stores and hotels to bars reap the benefits. Bars do quite well.” Others focus on the negatives — traffic jams and other inconveniences are inevitable when a big film crew takes over your town. With its dramatic weather, narrow roads and limited skilled labor pool, Vermont presents a lot o f logistical challenges for a film crew of 120-plus. Peacham is still reeling from the experience o f hosting Spitfire Grill, a small-budget movie that Town Clerk Phyllis Randall says was more trouble than it was worth. “We tried to set up boundaries which the studio had to adhere to, but they didn’t always,” she says, remembering the night shoot§,got especially irritating. Without a film commissioner to run interference between the village elders and the studio, various mishaps occurred and the “town had no clue,” Randall admits. “They brought their own caterers, their own equipment, their own this and that — what they did pay around here was minimal.” She finds it hard to picture two major movies in downtown Middlebury. “They don’t even like big trucks coming through town,” Randall says. But Middlebury gave Carrey’s crew the green light last week to transform a pedestrian footbridge over Otter Creek into an abandoned railroad trestle. Twentieth Century Fox agreed to pay the town $2000 for every day the bridge is unusable, and an extra $1000 for everyday o f shooting. The select board gave the con tract unanimous approval, according to reports in the Addison Independent, although one member suggested shooting a “before” video o f the area to assure the studio makes good on its promise to return everything the way it was. Several weeks after the Jim Carrey film wraps, Harrison Ford moves in for a scene in almost exactly the same spot. “It will be a learning experi ence for everybody,” predicts Middlebury Business Association director Gail Freiden, recalling “all the weird stuff they wanted

■ -.''V ■ tW l.

us to do” when Wizard o f Loneliness was shot in Bristol in 1987. Clunky as the process may be, she believes Middlebury will strike a deal that pleases more people than it pisses off. “I f they were doing this on private property, it would be up to one person to represent their interests to the movie company,” Freiden notes. “The town will have a more public interest in mind.”

2 2 M

i i d i i i no S u n s e t

(J3 o u le va rd . S d '-ere i in Id e rm o n t, even

ifteen minutes from Middlebury in Addison, / DreamWorks got an altogether different reception. After the state got involved in the Act 250 process, one o f the selectmen — Tom Rood — opposed the project because his property abuts the south end o f the park. “If one person on the select board doesn’t want the film there, what do you do?” asks Turgeon. “Hope the others are positive about it? Talk to them about the benefits to their community? You hope that person will change their mind, or be voted down. Government systems that are set up in places like California or Texas are not so hands-on.” Sen. Ready says Rood, who was originally from Lincoln, was concerned the film project would com promise his privacy. He struck a private deal with the studio - some say a five-figure settlement - that he declined to discuss. “Our concerns have been addressed and resolved. That’s all I am going to say,” he says. The volatile combination o f big money, impending deadlines, favorable geography and a fresh permit “brings out the worst in some people,” says LetzelterSmith, noting he witnessed a similar “stick-up” work ing on the movie Meet Joe Black. “Usually 90 percent o f the people in the neighborhood think it’s a ball. You

N o J l i a i to dtop ( o r ^ 1 c l 2 5 0 p e rm its , lo c a lz o n in g , m eetings u n c i the o ccasio n a l a n g rg c itiz e n c rg in g , “ W o t in m g b a c h g a rd . almost always have one or two who are a pain. It’s just human nature,” he says. Turgeon suggests such acts o f individual oppor tunism are likely to send the movie industry right back where it came from. “They don’t have to be here. They can go anywhere else,” she says. “The studios are look ing at the big picture. The landowners are looking at their bottom line. They see it as ‘the ship has come in.’ All that does is hurt the state.” Local filmmakers, too, will be affected by the

correspond with an actor’s populari ty abroad, it turns out. Last year’s M oving Targets, for example, stars Burt Ward — as in the artist former ly known as Batman’s sidekick Robin. The recently completed Icebreaker — think D ie H ard at a ski area — stars Stacy Keach. And just this month, Giancola and crew wrapped Peril, the tale o f a desperate man on the trail o f buried treasure, starring T V ’s “Falcon Crest” vixen Morgan Fairchild and “Dynasty” hunk John James. While Edgewood’s brand o f filmmaking is unlikely to bring an Oscar to Rutland any time soon, you won’t hear Giancola complaining. “He is IN DEEP David succeeding in a way that other Giancola directs Vermont filmmakers are not,” says Burlington College film professor John James in Peril. Kenneth Peck about the 29-year-old filmmaker. “He’s making money.”Giancola and Beckwith are also calling more o f the shots, financially speaking, than Vermont auteurs typi cally do. Recent development deals with international investors — Germany’s Intertainment and U.K.based Flashpoint — find Edgewood in the enviable position o f being approached to make movies. “Were spending less time with ‘Can we get the money?’ and more time with ‘Okay, we have the money, let’s com made six action-adventure movies since 1990 — each municate well,” Giancola says. featuring at least one maniac threatening unholy ter So far, his backers are hearing him loud and clear. ror, and more pyrotechnics than Vermont has seen The strength o f the Icebreaker sales trailer alone since the War o f 1812. Edgewood is slated to shoot inspired Intertainment to greenlight a sequel, 10 more over the next two and a half years — a fin Icebreaker II: Meltdown. The shoot, which will double ished film every three months between now and the as Giancola’s “vacation,” will take place in a yet-undeend o f 2001. termined sunny locale. “I froze my ass o ff making If the movie titles don’t ring a bell, that’s because Edgewood’s films tend to go straight to videotape and, Icebreaker,” he says. “I wanted to go someplace warm. And frankly, so do the actors.” through Los Angeles-based Peter Beckwith’s distribu

-Fast . Forward B y E r ik E s c k il s e n hile the Vermont Film Commission and others have been laboring to lure big-time movie productions to Vermont, David Giancola’s Rutland-based Edgewood Studios has qui etly developed a small film industry unto its own. Well, maybe not so quietly. As Edgewood’s feature-film titles suggest — Time Chasers, D iam ond Run, Pressure Point, M oving Targets, Icebreaker, P eril— these are not the rustic, rural yarns of Giancola’s Vermont-filmmaker contemporaries. And their effects are far from subtle. As he notes, when people hear explosions in Rutland now, “they assume that it must be Giancola doing a movie.” That’s an entirely reasonable assumption, given Edgewood’s remarkable output. The company has

va rr is on

incoming movies. Until now, they have had virtually free access to locations in Vermont. When Carrey and Ford are through with them, will set-sawy towns expect cash from anyone with a camera? “Certainly we hope that when we shoot another movie, people don’t assume we’re Universal Pictures,” says Bess O ’Brien at Kingdom County Pictures, noting she and Jay Craven plan to keep their cameras in the Northeast Kingdom. The couple didn’t pay for a single location while shoot ing Where the Rivers Flow North. “The difference between a company coming in from Hollywood is, they can leave. They are never going to see Mr. Smith again,” O ’Brien says. “If they leave a bad taste in everybody’s mouth, we are going to hear about it.” Everyone involved, including film-friendly lawmak ers, see this summer and fall as a test in the eyes o f Hollywood. “If all goes well, it may become a regular thing” — the thrill o f casting calls, the long-term bene fits promoting the state,” says Rep. Dunne, who is already talking about “tweaking” the Act 250 process to make it more flexible for film projects. “If it does not go well, and that includes financially, they will choose someplace else and call it Vermont.” It was Dunne who sponsored the bill that abolished the out-of-state actor tax. The 29-year-old law-maker was also the major legislative force in founding the film commission, which received an additional $150,000 appropriation this year to buy Turgeon some help. Clearly, the state is all for Hollywood investing in Vermont. But ultimately, local communities will have to decide whether they share that vision. The sequels, in other words, will be up to us. (7)

While other Vermont filmmakers play it rural, David Giancola’s all action— and reeling in the cash

tion and finance contacts, to audiences overseas. With budgets hovering around $1 million, and shooting schedules in the brisk, four- to eight-week range, the movies often feature heroes and baddies drawn from local talent rosters and Hollywood’s “Where Are They Now?” file. Fading American star power doesn’t necessarily

focused pragmatism has characterized Edgewood since its founding in 1987. Reinventing itself as often as necessary to pay the bills, the studio has moved from film-equipment

’ Continued on page 10

may 19,1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 9

Fast Forward

Continued from page 9

Adventure

rentals, how-to publishing — The No B S Filmmakers Homestudy Course — wedding videos and political campaign ads to feature filmmaking. “I think it’s extremely savvy the way they’ve managed to steer their business where the busi ness is,” Peck observes. Which is not to say that Edgewood is out o f the woods. Contracts in hand, the compa ny must now deliver the goods. To do that, Giancola is moving Edgewood from its current Route 7 strip-mall office to a roughly 11,000-square-foot warehouse in the Howe Center. In typical Edgewood style, the job will be quick and dirty, with the facility fully opera tional by mid-June. The new home will include offices, three studios and twice the post-pro duction capacity o f Edgewood’s current digs. Giancola is also developing Edgewood’s human resources, with a commitment to local talent. Time Chasers was a largely volunteer effort shot for around $150,000. In contrast, the flatlander-to-Vermont ratio on Icebreaker was roughly 3 to 2, the budget $1.2 million. “I hire everybody I can,” Giancola says. But as his own produc tions .expand, his definition o f “local” has broadened, to include “anyone, from New England.” He draws actors from the Burlington and Rutland theater scenes, and taps a growing cadre o f Edgewood vets, and occasional grads from Burlington College, for production posts. Finding experienced crew will be especially hard this summer, with two Vermontbound Hollywood movies com peting for local talent. “I’m glad they come in,” Giancola says, noting the training is invaluable. “But I could use them down here.” In June, he’s turning the camera over to Edgewood staffer Jim Bradley, who will direct Flashpoint’s Radical Jack, starring Billy Ray Cyrus and Dedee Pfeiffer.

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avid Giancola’s desire to look after his own, as well as his easy rapport with cast, crew and locals, has bur nished his local-boy-makesgood image. And that, he says, matters “big time” in getting access to film locations. When the day’s film debris has settled, around Rutland County he’s still considered “that nice Giancola boy.” Edgewood’s good-neighbor policies set it apart from other film crews, according to direc tor o f photography Grosvenor Miles Hafela, formerly o f New York City. Whereas Edgewood’s pre-production meetings include discussion about respecting the local communi ty, he says crews from Los

Angeles “aren’t as respectful.” He notes “whole chunks” o f Westchester County in New York are off-limits for movie making because o f bad blood between film crews and locals. For Giancola, that kind of animosity would be self-defeat ing. “We have to live here,” he says, “so we have a different attitude about it.” Oh, sure, there were those airplane wings left atop Killington after Icebreaker wrapped. But, hey, there was a plane wreck in the woods before the crew got there. And then there was the Port-a-Let that vandals tipped into a Proctor beaver pond during the shooting o f Peril. Shit happens. But for the most part, Giancola has managed to keep conflict confined to the camera lens. Last week the script called for Peril actor John James to sit submerged in a culvert with water up his chest for three hours — for the second day in a row. Playing the part o f Scott,

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Call now for your copy of our complete Summer Course Bulletin! he’s fallen into a cave and can’t get up. “Help me! Oh, G od,” he screams, thrashing about while the crew drips water from above. “Somebody help me! James later confides, hair still dripping, that his work on Peril is some o f the most physi cally grueling o f his career. Evidently the Howe Center tube wasn’t the only water logged scene he shot. “Otter Creek is fun in August,” he grumbles, “but it’s a little much in April.” The elements aside, James, who grew up around Saratoga Springs, sees no reason why Vermont can’t work for film locations. “Southern California has been shot to death,” he says with a sigh. “Every film that’s shot there looks like a C.H.I.P.s episode.” While he’d rather not repeat a performance like the one he turned in for Peril, he’s not averse to working with Giancola again. “He’s a lot o f fun,” James says o f the director — and from an actor’s point o f view, a sound investment. James’ own personal prediction about Giancola and Beckwith says it all. “In five years,” he saysj “they’ll be the Ben & Jerry’s o f the film industry.” (7) ’■

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page 11

Festival 1

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B y E rik E sc k il se n eems you can’t mention the word “teenager” these days without eliciting a chorus o f commentary from psychologists, parents, coun selors, legislators, lobbyists, the President — anyone with an inkling about what went wrong in Littleton, Colorado. The impulse to chime in is power ful. After all, what self-respect ing adult doesn’t want to be part o f the solution? And yet, amidst all the well-intentioned hubbub, one group seems to have uttered scarcely a peep: teenagers. Or maybe it’s just that the grown-ups haven’t been listen ing. Audiences at the upcoming Young Playwrights Festival will certainly get an earful about what’s on the minds o f Vermont youth. Now in its fifth year, the festival showcases

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original 10-minute plays writ ten by students from 22 middle and secondary schools around the state. The brainchild of Vermont Stage Company Artistic Director Blake Robison and Managing Director Dana Yeaton, it brings professional actors and directors together with young playwrights for a two-day marathon o f work shops, rehearsals and pareddown productions. The works in this year’s pro gram cover vast stylistic and thematic territory. Some titles suggest satire and farce — con sider “The Interrogation o f a Mime” and “Conversation between Confucius and Bill Clinton.” Other plays explore the difficulties o f communica tion, such as the coming-out tale “Pie,” and the chatty, twoperson comedy “Therapy.” There’s a nightmare-date play, “A Night O ut,” which Yeaton calls “Noel Coward-esque” in

its use o f witty repartee. And the war story “Behold the Power o f Cookies” reads like Eugene Ionesco, he says, with its poignant message and pur poseful choreography. The festival is actually the culmination o f a year-long cre ative process. During residen cies at participating schools, vis iting playwrights work with stu dents — 280 this year — to develop scripts though improvi sation and other writing exer cises. The faculty at each school then selects a script to feature at the festival. Although some readings may take place prior to the fes tival, the scripts are generally not memorized, according to New York City-based actor Charles Mclver, who has partic ipated in every festival since its inception. That leaves him, his director and fellow actors about 90 minutes to prepare for the performance. Mclver, who

Vermont Young Playwrights Festival, produced by Vermont Stage Company, Royall Tyler Theatre, University of Vermont, Burlington, May 20-21. Info, 656-4351.

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PLAY GROUNDING Teen playwright Abigail Nessen appeared in the V SC winter production o f Molly Sweeney, compares acting in the festival to rock-climbing — both the thrills and the potential spills. “The actors and directors are so

confident in their skills, they don’t have to worry about that,” he says. “They can really con centrate on the plays.” Then again, he points out, “It’s scary to act in that realm...You have

this rope on you, but you may fall. You really have to pull some stuff out o f your hat.” For Gailer School play wright Abigail Nessen, knowing that actors and directors are taking the work so seriously sends a strong message. “That’s the beauty o f this pro ject,” she says. “It’s all about teenagers getting heard and being respected for what they say. It’s rare. In developing “Therapy,” the tenthgrader met the short-play form’s rigorous demand for “efficient” writing. Beyond the discipline, Nessen also reaped social bene fits: Gailer’s small population o f 76 students made collaboration essential, and that meant mix ing students from different grades and interests. As a result, Nessen says, “I know who they are and I respect what they do because o f the arts. And I know them differently than if I’d just been sitting next to them in a math class.” What’s more, while only two students’ plays were select ed for the festival from the 20 or so developed at Gailer, Nessen sees collective rewards from the project. “I think we were all really impressed by each other’s plays,” she says. “I

learned things about people that were really incredible. They were writing from their own lives, things that were real.”

counterparts’ commitment to developing young writers. More to the point, it illustrates young writers’ commitment to being developed. The slick publi cation bears the imprint of PenStroke Press, a studentrun operation where stu dents handle all production tasks, with guidance from staffers at Rochester-based publishing companies Inner Traditions and Schenkman Books. As Yeaton sees it, projects like Blast From the *Puture and the Young Playwrights Project reveal an enthusiasm for writing that should not go untapped. “The kids know they want to write, but not many o f them know what they want to write about,” he says. “It’s critical that we get them writing to discover that material is within them, or oth erwise it will stay there in some form.” For Nessen, creative outlets offer a constructive alternative to violent outbursts. “Arts, to me, are how people can talk to other people from a different part o f themselves, an often more hard-to-reach part o f themselves,” she says. “And when that can be expressed — be it rage or excitement or love — it can be dealt with. It’s not bottled up, it’s out there.” (7)

Abigail Nessen Nessen credits her peers with helping her develop her script, and her teachers with creating an atmosphere o f “inclusion” that makes Gailer’s festival rep resentation a source o f school pride. The achievements o f some past Young Playwrights are rep resented in Blasts From the Future, an anthology o f 17 plays from the Project. With titles suggesting the satirical, “The Sure-Success Twelve-Step Program to Self-Affirmation and Esteem;” the fantastic, “Hershey: A Space Odyssey;” and the bizarre, “The Frog in All o f Us,” the published collec tion signifies Yeaton and his

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S e a r c h in g

By Pamela P olston he dance which opens Marie Chouinard’s 20year retrospective o f solos is.the very first piece she creat ed, in 1978; “Cri$tillisation.” On all fours, long legs stretched out catlike, she sidles across the stage with one hand to her un covered ears, as if listening for something that may be sneak ing up on her. The only sound, however, comes from another woman onstage who is plucking the wires on what looks like an oven rack. The gentle, distant plunk, plunk — combined with the dancer’s hyper-vigilance — is enough to set the piece on edge. The movement is con tained but almost animalistic, the gestures made by the body sculptural and semaphoric. “Cristillisation” did not have the shock value o f some o f Chouinard’s later works — the infamous “Petite danse sans nom” from 1980, in which she drinks a glass o f water then pees in a bucket, got her banned at a Toronto dance festival. Still, her unique vision and strength were immediately controversial, and put the young Quebec choreog rapher in limelight that would not diminish over her 12-year solo career. Her work set a stan dard for French-Canadian

dance, and in fact for contem porary dance, period. When “Les Solos 19781998” comes to the Flynn stage this Friday, viewers will have been warned to leave the kids at hom e; “ This provocative per formance contains nudity and may not be appropriate for chil dren,” caution the ads for the performance. Indeed, Marie Chouinard declared her self a “body artist” in 1978, and her dances call for minimal costuming that reveal the body in all its glory. In some cases, the costume is mostly paint. But anyone expecting the titillation o f beautiful naked women is in for a bit o f a surprise. The work can certainly be called erotic — even, in the case o f a masturbation scene in “Mimas, Lune de Saturne” (1981) or the audacious “L’Apres-midi d’un faune” (1987), overt ly sexual. But Chouinard’s gift is to take the expres sion o f the body much deeper, far beyond the repressed, Western, Catholic definition o f sex into territory that is almost frightening in its rawness. This work is primal and mythic, touching the

sacred. , “I did research for many years to celebrate the link between heaven and the earth, life and nature, inner and outer space,” Chouinard explained in a telephone interview from Montreal last week. “When you are in a quest to transmit some thing, you are always in a new, unknown land, bringing new

Chouinard’s gift is t take the expression of the bodv muc eeper, far beyond

for artistic truth. “As a teett,” she said, “the biggest question for me in front o f a painting was, how can this person touch me so deeply just with paint on a canvas — what is this thing called creation?” But even though she studied classical bal let, it did not occur to her for some years that she could tap into her own creativity through dance. | When she did, the epiphany led her to make some o f the most iconoclas tic, sensuous, and often perplexing works the world had yet seen — sometimes crossing into ahead-of-itstime performance art. Some o f Chouinard’s unique, award-winning movement may have been inspired by her studies in Bali and i Nepal, but the choreogra pher herself attests to even more elemental influences: muscle, bone, cells, and the life force that binds them I together. Audiences will see some bare skin this Friday night at the Flynn; what they won’t see is Chouinard her self. The choreographer, now 44, formed a company in 1990 and since then has taught her dances to others. Chouinard — who confesses she could never

Western. Catholic definition of sex into territory that is almost frightening in its rawness. dimensions...you can call it risqu£. I just call it fresh air.” Born in Quebec City into a family o f five, Chouinard showed early signs o f her quest

look at videos o f herself per forming — is happy with the work o f the three women tour ing her solos, “especially because the audience has been so enthusiastic,” she said. Asked if Lucie Mongrain, Elise Vanderborght and Carole Prieur dance like her, Chouinard responded, “I hope not! I hope they are putting themselves into it...I push them to find their own way. They are respectful o f the work, but bring their own souls to it. “They have to connect so deeply with the work they step into the land o f what it is to be human,” Chouinard continued, “what is life, what is death, touching the art o f creation.” O ut o f her 35 solo works, 11 will be performed in “Les Solos” — two o f them made in the last two years and never danced by Chouinard herself. It is a lengthy show, three hours with two intermissions. But according to a dance critic for the Montreal M irror, “after those 180 minutes, boredom was the least appropriate adjec tive to describe my m ood...I felt a weird juxtaposition o f emotions: exposed, illuminated and as though someone had just socked me in the gut.” Dance doesn’t get any better than that. ®

Compagnie Marie Chouinard, “Les Solos, 1978-1998,” Flynn Theatre, Burlington, May 21, 8p.m.

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One Lo u sy Place to Garden ermont, for all o f its virtues, will never bemistaken for a garden state. I’m not talking about The Garden State — New Jersey — because certain areas o f Williston, South Burlington and Manchester could easily slip unnoticed into the Jersey landscape. N o, I’m talking about gar den, as in home garden, public garden, garden o f paradise. Let’s not kid our selves: Vermont is one tough place to plant. We’ve got three months — if we’re lucky — to sow, transplant, pamper, cajole, prune, pick and enjoy. And during that time we labor under the syA menace o f frost lurking over the mountains, threatening to swoop down and end it all. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be. Gardening is meant to be a restful endeavor, not a race. I’ve got enough lists to make, deadlines to meet and peo ple to please without being guilt-tripped by the \ unwanted flat o f hoHyhocfcp languishing on the porch. The garden is sup 1 posed to be an escape from pressure and stress. In fact the very word “paradise” has its roots in the garden, as it is derived from the Persian word for park. Sure, Vermont may look a little like paradise right now. Spring has busted out and the landscape is alive with color. The grass is an emer ald green; even the dande lions look good. Everywhere are tulips, daffodils, crab apples, cherry trees, lilacs — all in flower. It’s like a Reader's Digest version o f spring, condensed into one or two weeks. Enjoy it. This is as good as it gets, and it’s just about over. From here on out, it’s petunia time and long rows o f marigolds filling in the gap between mud and foliage seasons. But still we garden, yearning for the idyllic moment when time stops and we’re literally in touch with the earth. We hustle to try to reconnect with a more leisurely agrarian past. And so, if you stand very still over the next weekend

or two, you may be able to feel the earth move from the shock o f gardeners across the state digging, till ing and planting. When the spade first enters the moist soil, it all seems easy. Not for long. This is Vermont, after all, and you can bet that there will be at least one more night when you have to race around covering plants with sheets and blankets and plastic bags to protect from a late spring frost. Gardening here requires patience and a high toler ance for frustration. There are ways, however, to lower the frustration level. Pick your spots. Get to know your landscape and pinpoint your plantings in favorable microclimates: the warm sunny spot on the south side o f the house, or the sheltered area along a hedge row. Avoid shady spots where snow lingers in the spring or where the ground stays moist, and stay away from low areas where cold air collects at

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way they vote in Chicago: early nd often." night. Build raised beds. Raising the soil allows it to drain and warm earlier in the spring, so you can plant sooner and stretch the sea son. Choose plants carefully. Don’t gamble with plants o f questionable hardiness, no matter how much you would like to impress your neighbors with them. Plant only fast-maturing varieties o f vegetables; don’t waste space and frustrate yourself trying to grow exotic mel ons or late-season corn. When planting perennial flowers, choose long-bloom ing species such as rudbeckia and monarda. The season is too short to waste on plants that bloom for only a week. And don’t turn your nose up at annuals. Perfect

for Vermont, they bloom non-stop from frost to frost. You don’t have to confine yourself to impatiens and geraniums; try some unher alded species such as cos mos, cleome or bacopa. Consider foliage and form: Plant perennials, trees and shrubs that provide interest when they are not in bloom, even after frost strikes in the fall, such as peegee hydrangea or sedum. Push your plants hard. Fertilize the way they vote in Chicago: early and often. Here’s a depressing thought: In just another month the days will begin getting shorter, and the plants will begin switching from growth to reproductive mode. Better make sure they’ve grown as much as they can before the summer solstice. Buy stu ff. We’d all like to have the time to make our own compost, construct rustic arches, start our own seeds indoors, gather stones to make a garden path. Martha Stewart might have time for these crafty endeavors, but we real folks don’t. Better to buy what can be bought, and thereby buy time [ that can be spent with our hands in the dirt. Make sure to stock up on plen ty o f the Green Mountain gardeners best friend — plas tic to protect those plants from the weather. The final and perhaps most important step: Adjust your attitude and your goals. Let go o f that touchy-feely notion that gardening means work ing in harmony with nature. As any farmer can attest, growing domesticat ed plants is a constant struggle. Gardening requires you to match wits with nature, and nowhere is that more apparent than here in Vermont. Recognize that you may win a few battles along the way, but she will always win the war. ® Warren Schultz, a former editor at National Gardening magazine, is author o f A Man’s Turf: The Perfect Lawn. H is gardening column will appear biweekly in Seven Days through the summer.

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roots — meaning a little hillbilly, a little country and a lot of rock V roll — these hepdudes

conjure the past with pride. At Emerald City in Montpelier this Thursday.

where to go Alley-Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Billy Bob’s, Keith Ave., Barre, 479-5664. Boony’s, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-2711. Bottleneck, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 658-3994. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cafe Ole, North Common, Chelsea, 685-2173. The Cage, Bolton Rd., Waterbury, 244-5457. Cambridge Coffee House, Smugglers' Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Champion's, 32 Main St., Winooski, 655-4705. Charlie 0 ’s, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chicken Bone, 43 King St., Burlington, 864-9674. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. Club Extreme, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Danny's Pub, Keith Ave., Barre, 479-5664. Deerleap Books, 25 Main St., Bristol, 453-5684. Diamond Jim’s Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Emerald City Nightclub, 114 River St., Montpelier, 223-7007. Franny 0’s 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. Greatful Bread, 65 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-4466. Halvorson’s, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Jake’s, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. LaBrioche, 89 Main St., Montpelier, 229-0443. Last Chance Saloon, 147 Main, Burlington, 862-5159. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Local Legends Coffeehouse, Daily Bread Cafe, Richmond, 434-3148. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Main St. Bar & Grill, 118 Main St., Montpelier, 223-3188. Manhattan Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. NECI Commons, 25 Church St., Burlington, 862-6324. Nectar’s, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. Neshobe Sportsman Club, Rt. 73, East Brandon, 247-9578. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin’s, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rude Dog, 14 Green St., Vergennes, 877-2034. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St.. Burlington, 863-5637. Sneakers Bar & Grill, 36 Main St., Winooski, 655-9081. Swany's, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex. Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Thrush Tavern, 107 State St., Montpelier, 223-2030. Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski. 655-9542. Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington. 862-6585.

you saw >t in

Social Ban

SEVEN DAYS

WEDNESDAY JENNI JOHNSON & FRIENDS

(jazz/blues), Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. GREEN MOUNTAIN REVUE W/JAMIE LEE & FRIENDS, DR. JAZZ & THE DIXIE HOT SHOTS, DENISE WHITTI ER, AND MORE (benefit for Boys &

Girls Club, Good News Garage), Flynn Theatre, 7:30 p.m. $10/20. KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC. (SIC) (alternafunk), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. LEFT EYE JUMP (Delta blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SALSA DANCE LESSONS (with David Larson), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $8, followed by 27 DOWN, SPILL, STAND UP EIGHT (modern rock), 9 p.m. $3. HIP-HOP DJ NIGHT, Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/PICKLE, Manhattan Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. TABOO OPEN TABLE FREESTYLE DJ SPIN-OFF, Club Extreme, 9 p.m.

NC. HIP-HOP DJS (Joey K. & Big J), Last

Chance Saloon, 10:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SH 00TYZ GROOVE, DYSFUNKSHUN r

(funk/hip-hop), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $5/7. MAGIS (folk rock trio), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2. TNT (DJ &C karaoke), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC. HOUSE JAM (improv soul-funk), Emerald City, 9 p.m. $1/5.

PURE COUNTRY D .J. S e r v i c e s W e d d in g s

Anniversaries Banquets Private parties Richard M artin

led by Liz Thompson Tradltioiial|SOil|[s from America and around the world, Renaissance polyphony

802 453-4121 -

H er\r\a M e h rtd L bod^paLPsLcrNQ fcx^ c.opL)rLjC\ #

u l’s C a th e d ra l, Burlington I M ay 2 3 , 1 9 9 9 1:00 p .m . b y C a th e d ra l A rts

call for an appointment at:

198 P e a rl 862 3328

admission >rs, low incoi

if or motion,

GET hanblow YOUR nGEAR AT FULL TANK! glass and w a te r pipes 150A Church St. • 863-TANK M usi be 18 y e a r s old to buy tob acco prod u cts p o sitiv e ID required

SEVEN DAYS

may 19, 1999

DJ NIGHT (hip-hop), Ruben James,

£U

f% r\

10 p.m. NC. BL00Z0T0M Y (jump blues), Red

THURSDAY ELLEN POWELL & GUEST (jazz),

Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. CHAD HOLLISTER (acoustic rock), Sweetwaters, 8:30 p.m. NC. SANDRA WRIGHT (blues diva), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. 7 0 S NIGHT W/JUSAGR00VE (disco; prizes for costumes), R1 Rit, 10 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND,

Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. ADDISON GROOVE PROJECT, DAD

(funky-groove), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. PARTY BAND (jam rock), Manhattan Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Club Extreme, 8 p.m. SOLOMONIC SOUND SYSTEM (reg gae DJ), J.P’s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. I’M BIG & I CAN DIG (jazz), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. B0X0 BLAIR (rock), Trackside Tavern, 8 p.m. NC. GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. TAMARACK (New England trad.),

Daily Bread Bakery, 7:30 p.m. $5. KARAOKE, Swany’s, 9 p.m. NC. DJ & KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle,

9:30 p.m. NC. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rocka-

billy/swing), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $4/10.

Square, 8 p.m. NC. DISCO INFERNO (DJ Little Martin), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. QUADRA (classic rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. '80 S NIGHT (DJ Psychotrope), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. MAIN ST. JAZZ, Vermont Pub & -Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. LUNAR RAILROAD (groove rock), Chicken Bone Cafe, 9:30 p.m. $2. CYLINDER (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. MR. FRENCH (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9:30 p.m. $2. TANTRUM (rock), Champion’s, 9 p.m. NC. BAD HORSEY (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DANCIN’ DEAN (country; line danc ing), Cobbwebb, 7:30 p.m. $5. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Franny O’s, 9 p.m. NC. TNT DJ, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC JAMES HARVEY TRIO (jazz), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $7.50. DYSFUNKSHUN (hip-hop/fimk), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $5/10.

debut recording, Zydeco on the Bayou, ranks as one of the strongest freshman d iscs in any style of m usic during the decade, combining superb original songs with a few inspired covers, including a very soulful version of Peter Tosh’s c la s s ic “Stop That Train.” His second CD, There’s Room for Us All, came out in 1993; his most recent release is the five-song EP, Jam the JazzFest, on Tone-Cool Records. Grab your dancing shoes and haul out the hot sauce for this one. — Bill Barton

(Our apologies for an editing error last week which had trumpeter Lester Bowie playing a sax!)

UNCLE CHARLIE (rock), Backstage

11 p.m.

JENNI JOHNSON & ROB GUERRINA

MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER (coun

MAIN ST. JAZZ, Vermont Pub &

(jazz/blues), J.P. Morgan’s, Capitol Plaza, 7:30 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, Charlie O’s, 9 p.m. NC.

try), Flynn Theatre, 8 p.m. (sold out). BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC. QUADRA (classic rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. FACT0RIA (DJ Little Martin), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. ■ LIVE MUSIC, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SWING DANCE LESSONS (begin ning & intermediate), Club Metronome, 3 4 p.m, $8, followed by JEFFREY 6AINES (singer-' songwriter), 7 p.m. $12, followed by RETR0N0ME (DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. NC. \ HIP-HOP NIGHT (DJs), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $?. KARAOKE, J.R’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK (’70s-’80s DJ), Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m: NC.

5 p.m. NC.

SATURDAY RAISE THE ROOF W/BIG JOE BUR RELL & THE UNKNOWN BLUES BAND (benefit for Burlington

Community Land Trust), Shelburne Farms Coach Barn, 6 p.m. $50. 6 GOING ON 7, THE MOVIE LIFE,

listings

Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8.

Pub, 8:30 p.m. $2. BAD HORSEY (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. BRAHMA (country; round & square dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m.

GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-song

$ 7/ 12.

writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. JENNI JOHNSON (jazz-blues), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. MR. FRENCH (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9:30 p.m. $2.

C 4 (rock), Swany’s, 9 p.m. NC. BLUE S K Y (acoustic), Boonys,

Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson

ANOTHER PLANET, CURRENTLY NAMELESS (groove rock; Hemp

Legalization benefit), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $8/10. TANTRUM (rock), Champion’s, 9 p.m. NC.

on w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

ViUrntt Stwk

242 Mail]

* V H ottM - S tu d io

N A V EL PIERCING S P EC IA L ONIY S 4 0 And Get a FREE CHARMt w h ile su pp lie s last • some r e s t r i c t i o n s

SAT.5.22.7PM .$5

• no r a i n c h e c k s

MOVIE LIFE fu se GO ccg n g IMSHEIIA DIVINE

132 Church St. • Burlington • 66 0-2700

7 ^ 4

HIP-HOP NIGHT (DJ), Ruben James,

PICTURE THIS (jazz), Windjammer,

weekly

Discover Jazz has always featured a few shows spotlighting peripheral genres such as gospel, blues, r&b, soul, cajun or zydeco. This year, all of those styles get thrown together in one big pot of gumbo when the good ’n’ greasy, grits-andgreens Hammond B-3 organ funk of Ron Levy’s Wild Kingdom opens for Louisiana zydeco star Terrance Simien at the Blues " I „ v m Tent. Born on the bayou, zydeco is an exuberant and impas sioned blend of African-American blues and the traditional ' :tunes of the French-speaking Acadians. Simien is a young lion of the genre — to a style that is already a fusion of iM -6 V ■ -vfsgk'i! diverse cultures he adds modern rhythm & blues, reggae, rock and heartfelt originals. No stranger to Vermont, or Vermonters, Simien has opened for Phish at the New Orleans x , Jazz & Heritage Festival, and wowed the crowd at Ben & Jerry’s One World One Heart Festival. In the 1980s, Simien appeared on screen and contributed music to the soundtrack of the Dennis Quaid-Ellen Barkin film ___________________________________________ _ The Big Easy, worked with Paul Simon during the Graceland project; toured with Los Lobos; and participated in a U.S. State Department-sponsored tour of North Africa. His 1990

Main, 7 p.m. $5.

(blues-rock), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. 5 FLY (groove rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC. MUNDAY PETERSEN (alt-folk duo), Borders, 8 p.m. NC. ERIC BRENNER (acoustic), 135 Pearl, 6 p.m., NC, followed by EVO LUTION (DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. $5. KATHERINE QUINN (singer-song writer), Sweetwaters, 8:30 p.m. NC.

BLUES TENT, WINOOSKI JUNE 10

THE SHEILA DIVINE (indie), 242

BLUE FOX & ROCKIN’ DADDYS

21 FRIDAY

TERRANCE SIMIEN, RON LEVY’S WILD KINGDOM

When yo u r S tairw ay to Heaven becomes an overp layed song from; H ell, ■ B iH lf c r e . • buying and se llin g used r f p P lay statio n videogam es • se llin g used m usic books, videos iand c a sse tte s

Get cash. Even for those lighter-waving ?0’s btimout anthems.

198 College St.# Burlington 660-8150

■

J[>|[

TUES.5.25.7PM.$8

AVAIL BOY SITS FIRE

BY All MEANS .8622244 DON'T GRAB! SEVENDAYS is now available in

even more locations.

7 p.m. NC. DEAD HIPPY (groove rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. OLD JAWBONE (soul roots orches tra), Emerald City, 7 p.m. $5/8. DICK EASTER (blues-rock), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. 5 FLY (groove rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

c o n t in u e d o n p a g e

WWW. B l G H E A v y W Q R L D . C O M

LOCAL MUSIC ONLIKE! PURE POP TOP 20 • YEEKLY CO GIVEAWAYS • SEVEN DAYS CLUB LIS 1IM6S

f l r l b e Green Mountain Dixieland Ja zz Society presents at the Discover Ja zz Festival

A S K IZ T W I T E TO

& Pa t s

w a ller

Featuring N YC's Band: \ Peter E ck lu W * l> u m p e t Vince Giordano • Bass Sax, tuba, String Bass Marty Grosz • Guitar & Vocals iilllllJ Keith Ingham • P ia n j B

Saturday, June 12, 1999 at the Radisson, Burlington, ! « « ! £ ( $

I z m e m b e rs)

^Ticket 0 IfiT . IP lN £ .

W illie **" Racine’s

mm • •

Q u a lity co n sig n m e n ts o f u se d and v in t a g e c lo th in g . D e sig n e r la b e ls , ’2 0 s —?5 0 s v in t a g e fo r men and women, w e ste rn w eaj C^aii 2 )au m : 864-8182

H I M P *Y S „

pagya,

ON A ROLE A magic bus it ain’t, but that bright green 1957 Flxible

Starliner you may have seen parked near the Burlington waterfront had a little brush with greatness a couple weeks back. Owned by Nashful Rambler (and Chew Chew chief) Rick NorcroSS, the vin tage ride was hired for the bio-pic Audrey Hepburn, currently film ing in Montreal. The park, er, part? Audreys mobile dressing room on the movie-within-a movie set, c. I960, of Breakfast at Tiffanys. In the title role is Party of Fiver and budding chanteuse Jennifer Love Hewitt — the babe of the moment gracing the latest cover of Rolling Stone. Norcross divulges his rental was just Hollywood’s “going rate”: $600. Oh, the vehicle was spotted on three different “Entertainment Tonight” spots, and there’s a chance it will find fur ther fame on the pages of an upcoming People magazine. Sweet deals on wheels.

SUNDAY,MAY30 O N E M AIN ST. • W INOOSKI • INFO 654-8888

LU CO

DOORS 8 PM • SHOW 9 PM unless noted

AND THE WINNER IS ... Pdiddle, a modern rock power trio from

WEDNESDAY. MAY 19 $5 21* $ 718 * ALL AGES!

SHOOTYZ GROOVE D Y S FU N K S H U N THURSDAY-ERIDAY MAY 20-21 CLOSED FOR PRIVATE PARTIES SATURDAY. MAY 22 $8 ADVANCE S1D DAY OF SHOW

'99 HEMP LEGALIZATION BENEFIT FEATURING ANOTHERPLANET&CURRENTLYN AM ELESS MONDAY. MAY 24 S7 ADVANCE $7 DAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN & SAMUEL ADAMS WELCOME

MPO RCU PIN E TREEM 27 DOWN THURSDAY. MAY 27 $4 21*

21- ALL AGES!

S P IL L / MOTORPLANT& MISSING JOE \ FRIOAY, MAY 28 $5 AT DOOR

TAMMY FLETCH ER A N D T H E D IS C IP L E S BLO O ZO TOM Y

SATURDAY. MAY 29 $8 AT DOOR $6 WITH 70s COSTUME 95 TRIPLE X & SUPERSOUNDS PRESENT

'70 a R EW IND

DO GOOD DEPT. Talk about promoting diversity: This Wednesday at the Flynn, the Green Mountain Revue presents an old-fashioned variety show with Vermont-gone-Nashville country cuzzin Jamie Lee Thurston & Friends, New Orleans-style gumbo from Dr. Jazz and the Dixie Hot Shots, chanteuse Denise Whittier, Irish steppin’ from The Highland Weavers, Latin lovers Sambatucada and, urn...Coach Tom Brennan? Sponsored by the Burlington Rotary Club and Key Bank, the evening benefits the Burlington Boys & Girls Club and the Good News Garage. Saturday night, you’ll have to choose between hemp and housing: The World Cannibis Foundation gets a boost from groovesters Another Planet and spe cial guests at Higher Ground. Simultaneously, at the Shelburne Coach Barn, Big Joe Burrell & the Unknown Blues Band “raise the roof” for the Burlington Community Land Trust. Guess which one has better food?

DISCO DANCE PARTY SUNDAY. MAY 30 S16 ADVANCE S16 DAY OF SHOW 104.7 THE POINT & MAGIC HAT BREWERY WELCOME

V CRASH TEST DUMMIES JU L IA D A R L IN G WEDNESDAY. JUNE 2 S10 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW 99.8 THE BUZZ WELCOMES

O F W AYNE y FOUNTAINS J O H N N Y S O C IE T Y

A LEFTOVER SALMON SATURDAY. JUNE 5 S14 ADVANCE S16 DAY OF SHOW

BLUECROUND UNDERCRASS

TUESDAY, JUNE 8 S15 ADVANCE AT FLYNN BOX OFFICE ONLY 21* ONLY • BENEFIT FOR DISCOVER JAZZ FEST

VT, JAZZ ALLSTARS L J

with TREY ANASTASIO. BIG JOE BURRELL. DAVE GRIPPO. JAMES HARVEY. JEFF SALISBURY. BRUCE SKLAR & STACEY STARKWEATHER! WEDNESDAY. JUNE 9 S12 BEFORE 5/31 S15 AFTER DISCOVER JAZZ FESTIVAL PRESENTS

SEXMOB

T H E S L IP THURSDAY, JUNE 10 S12 ADVANCE S14 DAY OF SHOW

JAZZ MANDOLIN PROJECT SATURDAY, JUNE 12 S12 ADVANC

CHARLIE HUNTER/ A ADAM CRUZ DUO

TUESDAY, JUNE 15 S20 ADVANCE S22 DAY OF SHOW

LEE'S C R A TC H 'P ER R Y N SUNDAY, JUNE 20 S10 ADVANCE S10 DAY OF SHOW 99.9 THE BUZZ WELCOMES

SPARKLEHORSE M ERCURY REV THURSDAY. JUNE 24 $8 ADVANCE S10 DAY OF SHOW

MICHAEL RAY

\ A

& THE C O S M IC KREW E SO U L IV E FRIDAY. JUNE 25 S22 ADVANCE $25 DAY OF SHOW TWO SEATED SHOWS! 7 PM & 10 PM

D R * JO H N THURSDAY, JULY 1 S15 ADVANCE S17 DAY OF SHOW TWO SHOWS WITH DANCE FLOOR! 7 PM & ID PM

Burlington High School, won last Sunday’s Advance Music/Buzz Homebrew High School Band Search. The booty? A $500 gift cer tificate from Advance, one day of recording at Eclipse Studio, a photo session from Mark Harlan and a spot on the Big Heavy World Web site. “It was a very successful event, full of screaming kids, a mosh pit and terrified parents,” reports Advance’s Mike Trombley, who estimates the crowd size was about 250. The bands who didn’t win, but at least got to experience the thrills and chills of a big stage, were Coldspot, Adrenalin, Absolute Zero, Relic, and The Hit Men. Keep an eye out for ’em; could be the future of the Burlington music scene. This Sunday, of course, grown-up guitarists get their chance to show off, at Advance Music’s annual Guitar Summit at Metronome. Hosted once again by jazz guy Jon Finn from Berkelee School of Music, the summit has 25 contestants so far, and as of this writing there was room for a few more. Register at Advance a.s.a.p. — and check here next week for the winner, if you’re not able to witness the string genius yourself.

CUBANISMO! / ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHER GROUND, \ \ / FLYNN THEATRE BOX OFFICE, ALL FLYNN OUTLETS, \ > |P U R E POP, TONES OR CHARGE BY PHONE atit 86-FLYNN l

SINGLE TRACKS Not too many groups get to throw around the words “Renaissance polyphony,” but the Burlington shape-noters Social Band can, and mean it. Add to that original and traditional a cappella tunes, and you’ve got a rare concert — this Sunday at St. Paul’s . . . Those alternafunkers (sic) play their last gig for awhile this Wednesday at Nectar’s — and the last gig ever with bassist Joseph Cooper, who’s moving to Colorado and getting hitched, (sic) will be on hiatus while their shared members pick up some Southern culture on tour with Chin Ho! . . . 242 Main offers up a workshop on how to book your band, this Saturday at 3 p.m. — get advice from pros Dennis Wygmans, Richard Bailey, Alice Austin and Jeff Howlett . . . Headed to NYC this weekend? Check in on Burlington’s Construction Joe at Mercury Lounge Friday, ’round midnight . . . Rasputin’s is still looking for live bands to play on Thursdays. If interested, give a call at 864-9324 . . . Young wannabe rockers oughta check out the “Alternative Rock/Blues Band Camp,” back on the curriculum by popular demand, at Montpelier’s Monteverdi Music School this summer (229-9000). That’s just one option, of course, among others that include piano, gamelan, cham ber music or fiddle . . . Feisty folkie Katherine Quinn is back from a little hop, skip and jump around the country. Everything went great except her guitar got smashed in baggage. On the other hand, the airline promised to fix it, and assuaged her with free tickets — only on the West Coast. Quinn plays Sweetwaters this Friday . . . On the air this week: Sunday night on Buzz “Homebrew” (99.9 FM) Nicole Saltus hosts Montreal’s Rubberman live in the studio . . . ®

OUR CAFE IS OPEN M -F 11-7 PM U

page 20

SEVEN DAYS

FULL CIRCLE, NEIL ANDERSON & FRIENDS (self-released, CD) —

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One critic has already called Neil Anderson the Jimi Hendrix of the Highland bagpipe.” I don’t know if I’d go that far, but the talented South Carolina piper — aka “The Antipypr” — plays his instrument with a Southern Rebel yell. Using it as a lead instrument, Anderson pushes the bagpipe where probably no man has gone before. When the Florida-based Seven Nations met up on the Celtic circuit with Vermont’s Whisky Before Breakfast, bassist Eric Garland and Anderson clicked. So when their respective bands broke up, the two set about making music together — with help from other players in the U.S. and Canada. And remarkable music it is, full of the minor-chord melancholy that is indigenous to the Highlands, but much more melodic and complex than the usual militant screech of the bagpipe. In other words, most of these nine tracks are not meant to frighten enemies or wake the dead; many are, in fact, surprisingly mellow. Not that Full Circle can’t blow full-blast: “Border Crossing” and “Ride On” are nothing short of rockin’, and Anderson’s “Funky Bag” is just that. Only one other song here is origi nal: Garlands “Fletcher Mountain Blues,” which is actually swinging jazz, courtesy of Kirk McLeod’s piano and Anderson’s tinwhistle. But all the traditional tunes and cov ers have been re-arranged to suit the band’s instruments and contemporary feels. My preference here is for the instrumentals — Anderson’s voice, though able, is plain vanilla. Still, the piper’s amazing solo work — including a wink-wink borrowed riff from “Hotel California” — makes up for the plodding vocals in “Ride On.” Other stellar guest appearances are electric guitarist Stuart Cameron (from Ashley Maclsaac’s band) on the speedy closer, “Funky Bag” (which sneaks in a classic bagpipe refrain from “Scotland the Brave” at the end), and former Jusagroove guitarist J ’Kael on several songs. Whisky percussionist/drummer Sam Hooker keeps the groove grounded and in flight at the same time. Full Circle is an apt name for a band that so brilliantly bonds the past and future of Celtic music. Unfortunately, it’s not really an active band but a conglomeration of Celtic colleagues that gathered for five days at Joe Egan’s Eclipse studio'and let fly. The CD is only available from Anderson’s Web site, www.unreelmusic.com — but fans of experimental plaid rock will find it worth the trouble of ordering. Meanwhile, keep an eye out for Whisky alums’ new local project, Jighead. —

& WRAP SANDWICHES Y

WWW.HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM

PORCUPINE TREE, STUPID DREAM (K Scope, CD) — British singersongwriter/guitarist Steven Wilson has been producing U.K. indie chart-toppers for much of the ’90s. For his fifth and latest release, Stupid Dream, Wilson took his live band into the studio, and the result is a fine, pop-inflected, origin?! disc. This record takes the band in a more rocking, song-oriented direction, a notch or two away from their historically progressive/ambient/psychedelic sound. Still, the most obvi ous reference here is mid-era Pink Floyd. Despite Wilsons denials, the lush, warm sound of songs like the heavy slide-tinged, synth-splashed, mid-tempo opener, “Even Less,” beg the comparison. But Porcupine Tree are no mere imita tors; this record is full of personal touches, and has a bit more grit than Floyd ever did. Despite their previ ous forays deeper into the prog-rock arena, Stupid Dream strikes a nice bal ance between the familiar and experimental, thankfully foregoing much of the bombast and wanking that often pollute the prog pond. Keyboardist Richard Barbieri (ex-Japan), bassist Colin Edwin and per cussionist Chris Maitland all contribute skillful, complementary work. Wilson made a conscious effort to use strictly analog instruments, and this move pays off with a truly organic sound where synthesized and real strings blend seamlessly. Wilson’s wistful, stark lyrics are generally affect ing and unpretentious. On the catchy “Piano Lessons,” he remembers “Cruel ears and small hands destroying timeless tunes,” and this song, like several others on Stupid Dream, is puncutated by simple percussive piano riffs. I really dug the pretty “Pure Narcotic,” as well as “Stranger By the Minute,” with its minor-key harmony hook. “Don’t Hate Me” stumbles for a long eight-and-a-half minutes, but contains a cool Robert Fripp-ish guitar solo. “Baby Dream in Cellophane” is a little too close to John Lennon’s psychedelia for comfort. If any of this sounds like your cuppa, check out this fine disc, and the band who made it, appearing with 27 Down at Higher Ground this Monday. — Paul Gibson

Band name of the week:

may 19, 1999

Blue Food

P am ela Polston

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continued from page 19

23 SUNDAY SAM GUARNACCIA (classical

guitar), Windjammer, 10:30 a.m. NC. JENNI JOHNSON (jazz-blues), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC. SOCIAL BAND (trad./Renaissance/orig. a cappella), St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, 3 p.m. $5/7. PAUL LOLAX (guitar virtuoso), Borders, 4 p.m. NC. AESTHESIA ORCHESTRA (spo ken word improv), Rhombus Gallery, 8 p.m. $3-6. HIP-HOP DJ NIGHT, Rasputin’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. CHAD (pop rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. ANNUAL ADVANCE MUSIC GUI TAR SUMMIT (competition),

Club Metronome, 8 p.m. $3. KARAOKE, J.p.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 7 p.m.

NC. MARK LEGRAND & SARAH MUNR0 W/SPENCER LEW IS

(folk), La Brioche, 11 a.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (acoustic), Main

Street Bar

&c Grill,

11 a.m. NC. RICK REDINGT0N (rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

MONDAY ALLEY CATS JAM W/NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats,

9:30 p.m. NC. CHAD (pop rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. DAVE GRIPP0 (funky jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHT W/HANDS OF TIME (cover rock;

for restaurant, bar, hotel employees), R1 Ra, 10 p.m. NC with employee ID/$5. SWING DANCE (beginner and intermediate lessons W’/Terry Bouricius), Club Metronome, 7 & 8:30 p.m. $8, followed by RETR0N0M E (DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. NC. BORDER II (all-ages w/DJ Derrick Brown), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $5. PORCUPINE TREE, 27 DOWN

(modern rock), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $7.

TUESDAY

July 11 26th Season Grand Opening

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July 13 Paris Piano Trio

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July 14 The Gondoliers'

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July 16 Harbor Music

at Basin HarborClub

July 17 South Porch Saturday at ShelburneFarms

July 18 Meadow Magic

at Trapp FamilyMeadow

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July 20 American String Quartet at Royall TylerTheatre

July 22 Mozart by the Bay

G LA SS

at Kingsland BayState Park

July 23 String Fantasy

to b a c c o p ip e s , s n o d g ra s s , b a d t r u m , h e a d d ie s a rid m o r e

at GrandIsle LakeHouse

July 24 Beethoven Saturday

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July 27 Baroque Trumpet

July 29 The Enchanted Flute

Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. BOB GAGNON TRIO (jazz), Leunig’s, 7:30 p.m. NC. MARTIN & MITCHELL (soul DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. WIDE WAIL (alt-pop), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Rasputin’s, 10 p.m. NC. FUNKY JAZZ NIGHT, Last Chance Saloon, 9 p.m. NC. BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. RU SS & CO. (rock), J.R’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. TAMARACK (New England trad.), Tavern, Inn at Essex, 5:30 p.m. NC. KIDS NIGHT OUT (all-ages no alcohol dance), Emerald City, 8 p.m. $7.

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page 22

SEVEN DAYS

may 19, 1999

Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

19 Wednesday music

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” GREEN M OUNTAIN REVUE: Jamie Lee Thurston, the Highland Weavers and local politicos and celebs mix it up in a variety show that lives up to its name. Flynn Theatre, Burling ton, 7:30 p.m. $10-20. Info, 863-5966. ‘N O O N M U SIC IN MAY’: Eleven string archguitarist Peter Blanchette performs a unique program at the Stowe Community Church, noon. Free. Info, 253-7792. O PEN M IKE N IG H T: Bring your own talent to a performance potluck, a.k.a. the “Cambridge Coffee House” at Smuggler’s Notch, Jeffersonville, 6:30-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 644-2233.

dance BU R LIN G TO N C O N TA C T JAM: Explore and expand your range of motion at an informal gathering of spontaneous movers and shakers. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burling ton, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 860-3674.

drama KAMIKAZE COMEDY: Vermont’s own improv troupe turns audience ideas into spontaneous silliness at the Rhom bus Gallery, 186 College St., Burling ton, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 863-0091. ‘JESU S C H R IST SUPERSTAR’: The gospel according to Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Weber rises again in rock opera form. Colchester High School, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 651-9423. ‘CH A PTER T W O ’: Stowe Theatre Guild stages Neil Simon’s autobio graphical romantic comedy about love, loss and one-liners. Town Hall Theatre, Stowe, Essex, 8 p.m. $12. Info, 253-3961.

‘GREATER TUNA’: “Our To not. Two actors portray 19 ecce characters — all inhabits of Tun Texas — in this comic send-up small-town life. Briggs Opera H White River Junction, 8 p.m. $ Info, 296-7000.

film BR IT ISH FILMS D O U BLE F TU R E: A poor Catholic father bles to buy his daughter a com dress in Raining Stones. A young seeks solace in the local movie h in The Long Day Closes. Spauld Auditorium, Hopkins Center, mouth College, Hanover, N.H., & 8:40 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-

art • Also, see exhibit openings in listings. ‘AN EVENING OF T H E AR performance showcase and art features works by members of a

Come to our

new an gle: To the uninitiated, there’s a fine line between fishing and looking stupid. But to then-Yale stut James Prosek, fly fishing held the promise o f a great intellectual and spiritual catch. His quest took him to England

The Comp leaf A ngler — considered the canonical text on The Complete Angler: A Connecticut Yankee Follows in the Footsteps o f

the streams chronicled by Izaak Walton in the 1653 tome ppery subject. The net result o f Prosek’s outing,

ton, ties the lore and history o f modern

English fishing neatly together. He reels out stories and signs books at two

oming readings.

rsday, M ay 20. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p. m. Free. Info, 229-0774. Sunday, M ay 23. Barnes & Noble, S. lington, 2 - 3 p.m . Free. Info, 864-8001.

ary quite contrary:

Though her name suggests a musical lineage, Mary Chapin Carpenter’s road to

top was o ff the charts. Born in Princeton, New Jersey, to an editor-father who worked for

Life magazine, she picked

college degree from Brown University — and three Grammys — along the way to country-music hits like sionate Kisses” and “I Feel Lucky.” She pulls into town for a concert in support o f her recent release,

Party Doll and

er Favorites. rday, M ay 22. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $30-40. Info, 863-5966.

at the health?

The American fitness craze is nothing new. But if today’s paragon o f fitness is any indi-

n, the craze just got crazier. Richard Simmons, the self-proclaimed “Court Jester o f Health,” brings his wacky ht-watching ways and message o f personal empowerment to an upcoming Health, Fitness and Summer Sports o. A veritable guru to folks on the path to better health — and a favored guest on late-night talk shows — he dons trademark tank top for an interactive presentation geared for mind-body types.

rday, M ay 22. Champlain Valley Exposition, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m . Expo, $3. Richard Simmons, $11.35-26.35. Info, 863-

■

u’ve got ch ain mail:

Who says chivalry is dead? N ot the organizers o f the upcoming Medieval

ntry Fair. The day o f merriment includes music and market goods in an early European tradition and martial-arts onstrations by the Society for Creative Anachronism. Costum ed nobles, craftspeople and peasants set the mood, e a “D unk the Jester” promises kids distinctly modern mirth. Joust when you thought it was safe to go back in the r. . .

rday, M ay 22. Good Sheperd Lutheran Church, Jericho, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m . Free. Info, 899-3932.

ck to the garden:

- cotmfcef PO IN T‘99 wr

We’ve all heard o f “flower power,” but the fragrant lilac has a special lure. Purple

|k | T I u I

A Televised Vermont Public Policy Debate Series

"The Year of the Blue Dogs”

s at the annual Lilac Festival, featuring the best selection o f blossoms in Vermont. Bid on buds from around the d at a new lilac auction, or check out the walking tours, lectures and down-to-earth composting workshops. Make dress rehearsal for the Mozart Festival — bring a picnic basket.

rday & Sunday, May 22 & 23. Shelburne Museum, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $17.50. Info, 985-3346.

ef’s salute ■

Corporate executive chef. School lunch program. The two don’t usually mix, right? In

ont they do, thanks to the Share Our Strength organization. Based in Washington, D .C ., the nonprofit brings chefs, restaurateurs, beverage purveyors — anyone with a stake in food — together for a “Taste o f the Nation” uet to promote awareness o f hunger in the state. This year’s

fete features

the state’s premier gourmet food, wine

Sunday 5/23 11:00am Wednesday 5/2 6 4:15pm

Monday 5 /2 4 7:00pm Saturday 5 /2 9 6:15pm

ON CHANNEL 17

beer — with generous side orders o f jazz and r&b.

day, M ay 24. Radisson Hotel, Burlington, 5 -30-9p.m. $49, Info, 863-5966.

A IV ^71 M

“clubhouse” for people recovering from mental illness. Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 651-7030. FIGURE DRAWING: The human figure motivates aspiring and accom plished artists in a weekly drawing ses sion at the Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165. ART LECTURE: Seven Days critic and Rhombus curator Marc Awodey leads this open critique at Firehouse Gallery, Bur-lington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7165. ARTS MEETING: Community members convene to discuss plans for a visual arts space. Aldrich Library, Barre, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-9446.

words BOOK DISCUSSION GROUP: New and already-existing book groups cash in on cafe deals at Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

JOURNALING WORKSHOP:

Learning how keeping tabs on the day’s events can lead to creative selfdiscovery. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Donations. Register, 863-3659. KEVIN SPEN CER: The Memphis native reads from his Strange Shorts collection at the Fletcher Free Library,

Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7211. MYSTERY BO O K GROUP: Marian Mosher rallies mystery lovers to inves tigate Quinn Fawcett’s Against the Brotherhood. Barnes & Noble, S. Bur lington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

kids SO N G AND STO RYTIM E: The under-three crowd drops in for tunes and tales. Fletcher Free Library, Bur lington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STO RYTIM E: Four- and five-yearolds enjoy stories, songs, finger plays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STO RIES: Litde listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Children’s Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

sport SEN IO R WALKS: Stroll for fitness in health-conscious company. Weekly walks leave from Leddy Park Arena, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Register, 864-0123. SEN IO R BIKE TO U R : Pedal push ers tool around town with guides from Burlington Parks and Recreation. Leddy Park Arena, Burlington, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 864-0123.

US. Generating Company ~

SEVEN DAYS OMitral Vermont PutoHcService Corp.

etc Y2K FORUM : “Are You Ready?” That’s the big question at this smallbusiness-minded conference. Waybury Inn, East Middlebury, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, 800-464-7232. ‘PSYCHOLOGY OF T H E BODY’: This lecture explores the “lived body” and the link between “mindfulness, movement and character.” Unitarian Universalist Society, 152 Pearl St., Burlington, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-6989.

ARTS COUNCIL MEETING: Members of the Crossroads Arts Council gather to chart a cultural course for the future. Rudand Free Library, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 775-5413. KNITTING GROUP: Needle work ers swap techniques and design ideas with other wool workers. Northeast Fiber Arts Center, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-4981.

via the Charlotte-Essex Ferry

Shopping • Dining • Docking Lodging • Antiques • Art Galleries Live Theatre All Within Walking Distance of the Essex Ferry Dock

drama YO U N G PLAYW RIGHTS FESTI VAL: Professional actors perform 10minute plays by Vermont teens. See article, this issue. Royall Tyler Theatre,

may 19,1999

SEVEN

■ rf ■-7-. :7 :•" y, 7.-;.

DAYS

page

UVM, Burlington, 2 & 8 p.m. $5. Info, 656-4351. KAMIKAZE COMEDY: See May 19. ‘JE SU S C H R IST SUPERSTAR5: See May 19. ‘GREATER TUNA5: See May 19. ‘N U N SE N SE 5: The Lamoille County Players stage the musical comedy about holy-rolling sisters caught in the act o f mirth. Hyde Park Opera House, 7 p.m. Info, 888-4507. PLAY FESTIVAL: Student oneacts are showcased at this annual competiton culmination. Warner Bentley Theater, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $3. Info, 603-646-2422. FESTIVAL D E TH EA TRE DES AM ERIQUES: All the worlds a stage for 18 days. Catch theater works from seven different coun tries at venues around Montreal. Info, 514-871-2224.

film ‘GLENGARRY G LEN N R O SS5: Four real-estate salesmen compete for their jobs — and their lives — in this film adaptation o f David Mamets tough-talking, Pulitzer Prize-winning play. Loew Audit orium, Hood Museum o f Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H. 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

POETRY READING: Montpelier poet Fran Cerulli serves up a sam pling o f The Spirits Need to Eat at The Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Win-ooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. PARENT-CHILD B O O K DIS CU SSIO N : Grown-up readers and their 9- and 10-year-old kids get on the same page of Ellen Raskins The Westing Game. Deerleap Books, Bris tol, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684. ‘T H E C O M PLET E A N G LER5: Wade in the footsteps o f pioneering angler Izaak Walton with a reading by cast-away author James Prosek. See “to do” list, this issue. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m.

The perfect piece to spend 3 week w riting. Peaceful, scenic village, delicious m eals,

kids STO RYTIM E & CRAFTS: Cul tural activities keep three- to sixyear-olds occupied at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘NEW T IT L E S5 STORY TIM E: Kids four and up benefit from new books — and a counting lesson — at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. PARENTS ANONYM OUS: Parents gather for support and assistance around the challenges of childrearing. Babysitting goes with the program at two meetings in Burlington and Milton, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800-639-4014. STO RY HOUR: Young readers learn from lighthearted literature in a country setting. Flying Pig Childrens Books, Charlotte, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 425-2600. ‘N E ST S, EGGS & FEATHERS5: Preschoolers return to the nest to check in on chicks. Green Mount ain Audubon Society, Huntington, 1-2 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068.

sport

words

The Writers’ Retreat inVermont

Free. Info, 229-0774. POETRY W O RKSHO P: Plug into the wired word at this search for “Poetry on the Internet.” Ilsley Public Library, Main St., Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

W O M EN ’S RUGBY: The Burlington Rugby Football Club invites beginning and veteran scrummers to spring training. Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-3529.

etc BUSIN ESS AWARDS D IN NER: Dan Dubonnet and the new Champlain College Miller Information Commons receive awards at a downtown dinner for Burlington business types. Radisson Hotel Burlington, 5:30 p.m. $45. Info, 863-1175. READING FOR T H E LAW LECTU RE: Attorney Alan Bjerke discusses this alternative to law

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school for the Vermont Bar-bound. Burlington College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9616. CONSULTANTS M EETING: The Vermont Consultants Network holds an open meeting to trouble shoot Y2K problems. Network Performance, 85 Green Mountain Dr., S. Burlington, 7:30 a.m. $15. Info, 655-3031. GLOBAL PO SITIO N IN G SYS TEM S W ORKSHOP: Lost your compass? Learn to navigate by satellite at this high-tech talk. Eastern Mountain Sports, S. Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0473. ‘PILOT G IG 5 LAUNCH: Ths sixoared rowing boat crafted by stu dents and staffers shoves off after a short ceremony on shore. Lake Champlain Maritime Museum, Vergennes, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 475-2022. GENEALOGY LECTURE: Tracing your roots has never been easier. Learn how to shake your family tree at the Georgia Public Library, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 524-4539. NATURAL HISTORY W ORK SHO P: An art history prof and a field naturalist “interpret the Ver mont landscape” for teachers. Shel don Museum, Middlebury, 9 a.m. 4 p.m. $25. Register, 388-2117. G L B T Q SU PPO RT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Out right Central Vermont, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. PARENTING W ORKSHOP: Parents with kids from three to eight discuss setting limits, self esteem and emotional growth. H.O. Wheeler School, Burlington, 11:45 a.m. - 1:15 p.m. Free. Register, 864-0377. EM O TIO N S ANONYM OUS: Women suffering from depression, anxiety or any other mental or emotional problem find sorority in this 12-step support group. Seneca Center, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 660-9036.

friday m usic

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” MUNDAY PETERSEN: The altfolk duo plays an edgy set o f origi nals at Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. MUSICALIVE: A foursome of note — pianist Paula Ennis-Dwyer, soprano Lisa Jablow, cellist Bonnie Thurber Klimowski and clarinetist Steven Klimowki — makes its debut at the Stowe Community Church, 8 p.m. $12. Info, 849-6900. A VOCAL M INORITY: The gay men’s chorus offers a program of “Words and Music o f Celebration, Hope and Love” featuring selec tions from Handel to Holly Near. Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 479-7192.

dance COM PAGNIE MARIE CH O U IN ARD : The Montreal choreographer and “body artist” explores myth, sexuality and ritual in a provocative performance for adults only. See article, this issue. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $16-25. Info, 863-5966. CO N TR A DANCE: Rachel Nevitt calls for Ben Wang, Pete Johannsen and Ellery Klein. Champlain Club, Burlington, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 660-8726. ‘PERFORM ANCE 5995: Dancers from Montpelier’s Contemporary Dance and Fitness Studio strut their stuff at this eclectic annual show. Barre Opera House, 7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 229-4676. ■

• ,* .

* \

’ *f

drama YO U N G PLAYW RIGHTS FES TIVAL: See May 20. KAMIKAZE COMEDY: See May 19. ‘JESU S C H R IST SUPERSTAR5: See May 19.

‘N U N SE N SE 5: See May 20. ‘GREATER TUNA5: See May 19. PLAY FESTIVAL: See May 20. FESTIVAL D E THEATRE DES AM ERIQUES: See May 20. ‘OLIVER5: Students stage this musical tale of street-wise urchins in Dickensian England. Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School, S. Burling ton, 7:30 p.m. $3. Info, 652-7170. ‘RO SEN C R A N TZ AND G U ILD E N STE R N ARE DEAD5: Lost Nation stages the comedy about the Bard’s bit players, by Shakespeare in Love co-writer Tom Stoppard. City Hall Theater, Mont pelier, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 229-0492.

words POETRY READING: “The uncommon din” continues at this open reading for poets of all per suasions. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. 864-6106. ‘H IK IN G T H E V ER M O N T M O U N TA IN S5: Guidebook authors Nancy Bazilchuk and Leslie Schomaker lead readers in the right direction. The Book Rack, Cham plain Mill, Winooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231.

kid s SO N G A N D STO RYTIM E: The under-three crowd drops in for tunes and tales. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10:15 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘M U SIC W ITH ROBERT R ESN IK 5: Kids sing songs with the musical host of Vermont Public Radio’s folk show “All the Traditions.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Register,

865-7216. ‘PAJAMARAMA5: Parents and kids cuddle up with a good book at this pro-pajama event. Barnes & Noble, Burlington, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STO RY HOUR: Toddlers listen to stories at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

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etc EM O TIO N S ANO N Y M O U S: See May 20. This co-ed section welcomes men. FRIEN D S AWARDS: Blind para lympic medalist Cara Dunne Yates inspires this gathering of good citi zens featuring many musical guests. First Congregational Church, Burlington, 7-10 p.m. $10. Info, 658-5315. ‘BU SIN ESSES SPEAKING FRANKLY’: Companies with a conscience convene for a day of workshops on ways to boost the bottom line without sacrificing quality o f worklife. Radisson Hotel, Burlington, 8 a.m. - 5 p.m. $125. Info, 862-8347. BATTERED W O M EN VO LU N TEERS: Volunteers attend an ori entation session covering domestic violence education and opportuni ties with Women Helping Battered Women. UVM Women’s Center, 34 South Williams St., Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3131. ‘PASSENGERS’ PARTY: Salute the natural creatures along for a ride on spaceship Earth at this wildlife bash. Montshire Museum of Science, Norwich, 4-6:30 p.m. $5.50. Info, 649-2200. G L B T Q SU PPO RT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Out right Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. BATTERED W O M EN ’S SU P PO RT GRO UP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 658-1996.

urday m usic • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.”

mav

MARY CHAPIN CARPENTER: The countrified singer-songwriter performs down-to-earth tunes in a concert promoting her new release, Party Doll and Other Favorites. See “to do” list, this issue. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $3040 (sold out). Info, 863-5966. ‘SU N SE T A ND JA ZZ’: Jenni Johnson &C Friends play a leisurely set for relaxing and raising funds for the American Civil Liberties Foundation of Vermont. Burlington Community Boathouse, 5-7 p.m. $25. Info, 658-1343. ‘RAISE T H E RO O F’ BASH: Feast on a mouth-watering buffet before Big Joe Burrell and the Unknown Blues Band bring down the house. Proceeds benefit the Burlington Community Land Trust. Shelburne Farms, 6-9 p.m. $50. Info, 862-6244. BRAHMS RECITAL: Raymond Malone and Vermont Philharmonic music director Daniel Bruce pair up to perform the composer’s work for violin, piano and viola. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 253-8685. REVENOOERS CON CERT: The Putnamville players mix gospel and folk on soulful strings. Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 7 p.m. Donations. Info, 723-6551. H AN DEL SO CIETY C O N CERT: The student orchestra per forms the work of Mendelssohn — Fanny, not Felix — with the help of the Hanover Chamber Orchestra and guest cellist Linda Galvan. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 8 p.m. $14.50. Info, 603-646-2422.

dance ‘PERFORM ANCE ’99’: See May

21.

C O N TR A D A N CIN G: The Otter Creek Contras host this northernstyle hoedown featuring Dan O ’Connell calling for Pete and Karen Sutherland. Holley Hall, Bristol, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 388-4548. SQUARE DANCE: Al Monty calls

for a Western-style dance hosted by the Central Vermont Squares. Montpelier Grange Hall, 6:3010:30 p.m. $4. Info, 485-6739.

drama ‘OLIVER’: See May 21, 2 p.m. ‘JESU S C H R IST SUPERSTAR’: See May 19. ‘ROSENCRANTZ AND G U ILD EN STER N ARE DEAD’: See May 21. ‘N U N SEN SE’: See May 20. ‘GREATER TUNA’: See May 19. PLAY FESTIVAL: See May 20. FESTIVAL DE THEATRE DES AMERIQUES: See May 20. ‘PETER PAN’ A UDITIO NS: Stowe Theatre Guild seeks spry actors o f all ages for this whimsical musical tale of lost boys, pirates and a reptile with a killer memory. Stowe High School, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 651-9321.

film IN D IE FILM SHOWCASE: The dramatic and documentary work of more than a dozen Vermont film and video artists — including Nora Jacobson, Jay Craven and John O ’Brien — are screened at this event. Savoy Theatre, Montpelier, 2-5 p.m. $10. Info, 660-2600. ‘T H E IN H ER ITO R S’: The will of a murdered Austrian landowner creates turmoil in this German-lan guage film set in the 1930s. Loew Auditorium, Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 7 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FINE ART FLEA MARKET: The visual version o f the “farmer’s mar ket” offers affordable art in a wide range of mediums. Alley between Burlington City Hall and the Firehouse Gallery, noon - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166.

words POETRY SLAM: Organizers

describe this word wrangle as “a cross between a boxing match and a tent revival.” Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., 8:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 862-6536. JO SEPH BRUCHAC: The Abenaki poet and storyteller shares verses from his new collection, No Borders, at the The Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 3 & 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. ‘A W INDOW O N V E R M O N T ’: Octogenarian author Marguerite Wolf reads from her collection of observations and witticisms about life in Vermont. Deborah Rawson Library, Jericho, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 899-4962.

Info, 872-9000. ‘JIG G E T Y JO G ’: Walk, run, bike or blade along the Williston Bike Path to benefit the Vermont Respite House, 99 Allen Brook Rd., Williston, 8 a.m., $15. Info, 860-4436. LO N G TRA IL CLEARING: Bring lunch, water and work gloves on a five-mile spring clearing o f the Long Trail with the Green Mountain Club. Info, 879-1457. SPR IN G W O R K HIKE: It may be buggy along this trail-tending trek. Bring your lunch, gloves and insect repellent when you meet at Montpelier High School, 8 a.m. Info, 223-1406.

kids

etc

STORY TIM E: Kids three and up listen to literature read aloud. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTIM E: Young readers delve into classic and new tales at a halfhour happening. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. ‘TRAVELING STO RYTELLER’: Road raconteur Ernie Shumway Hemmingway follows the familiar example of Three Little Pigs. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. MATH TU TO RIALS: Highschoolers take the “numb” out of numbers-crunching at this weekly session with Dr. Samuel J. Klein. Room 373, Jeanmarie Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 9 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 865-5039. ROLFING C LIN IC : Certified Rolfer Rebecca Riley introduces parents and kids up to age 17 to this therapeutic technique. 73 Main St., Montpelier, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 229-4645.

KOSOVO VIGILS: Peaceful peopie gather in black garb, with bread loaves in hand, to protest the bombing in Yugoslavia. Burlington City Hall Park, noon. Free. Info, 862-0068. D IABETES SEM INAR: Patients hear “Good News for the Millennium” at this luncheon meeting of the Vermont office of the American Diabetes Association. Sheraton Conference Center, S. Burlington, 9:30 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Register, 654-7716. LILAC FESTIVAL: A daylong cel ebration o f flower power features music, food and lawn games. Dress in Victorian garb and get in for half price. See “to do” list, this issue. Shelburne Museum, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $17.50. Info, 985-3346. BA TTERED W O M EN V O LU N T E E R TRA IN IN G : A new group of urgently needed “Women Helping Battered Women” prepares for the challenge o f running hot lines and other direct work with victims o f domestic violence. Register, 658-3131. ‘SE C R E T G A R D EN ’ KID S C O O K IN G D EM O : Youngsters bake “jam roly-polys” from scratch at this fun feast featuring discounts on books and cookbooks. New England Culinary Institute, Church St. Marketplace, Burling-

sport SU M M ER SPO RTS EXPO: Health nut Richard Simmons makes a special appearance at this fitness festival. See “to do” list, this issue. Champlain Valley Exposition, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. $3.

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ton 1-3 p.m. $25. Info, 862-6324. PO LICE CARW ASH: Let law enforcers leave a shine, not a ticket, on your windshield to benefit the Special Olympics o f Vermont. State Police Barracks, Williston, 9 a.m. 4 p.m. $5. Info, 863-5222. ELDERFEST: Centenarians get their due at this “senior” celebra tion o f older Vermonters, featuring music, bingo and a memory tent manned by the Vermont Folklife Center. Ross Sports Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $4. Info, 865-0360. MEDIEVAL C O U N TR Y FAIR: Music and merriment of olde mixes with market fare, crafts and demos by the Society for Creative Anachronism. See “to do” list, this issue. Good Sheperd Lutheran Church, Jericho, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 899-3932. ‘EARTH STEW ARDSH IP’ D IS CU SSIO N : Storyteller Michael Caduto traces the “Circles of Life” in comparing and contrasting native and modern-Western envi ronmental ethics. Vermont Technical College, Randolph, 11

a.m. Free. Info, 496-3635. LAW SC H O O L GRADUATION: Civil rights leader Elaine Jones, now president of the NAACP, was one o f the first black women to defend death-row inmates. She speaks to graduates at Vermont Law School, South RoyaltonTown Green, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 763-8303. CA STLETO N C O M M EN CE M ENT: Reporter Mark Noble, currently of “Access Hollywood,” returns to his alma mater to inspire graduating seniors. Old Chapel Green, Castleton State College, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 468-5611. BIRD WALK: Check out the avian escapades on an early morning walk through the woods. Green Mountain Audubon Society, Huntington, 7 a.m. $4. Register, 434-3068. C H R O N IC ILLNESS D ISCLO SURE: The Vermont Chapter of the National Multiple Sclerosis Society coaches people on how and when to tell others about their ill ness. Capitol Plaza Hotel, Mont pelier, 10 a.m. - noon. Free. Info,

800-862-0912. W ORK DAY: Work up an appetite for lunch with community projects at the Institute for Social Ecology, Plainfield, noon - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8493. FARMERS MARKETS: Look for Vermont-grown agricultural prod ucts and crafts on the green at Burlington City Hall Park, 8:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Info, 888-8898188. Or in Montpelier, Corner of Elm and State streets, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 426-3800. Or in Waitsfield, Mad River Green, Rt. 100, 9:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. Info, 496-5856.

23 Sunday music

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” BRAHMS RECITAL: See May 22, Stowe Community Church. MUSICALIVE: See May 21, Beth any Church, Montpelier, 4 p.m.

Continued on page 28

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SOCIAL BAND: The spirited a cappella group sings shape-note songs, originals and sacred tunes from the Balkans at St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, 3 p.m. $7. Info, 864-0471. PAUL LOLAX: The master gui tarist picks Celtic and traditional tunes at Borders, Church St. Market-place, Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. ESSEX C H ILD R E N ’S CH OIR: The next best thing to the Vienna Boys Choir pipes up in a program titled, “Sounds of a Singing School.” UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 878-9733. GO SPEL CONCERT: The Montpelier Community Gospel Choir give exuberant expression to traditional and new music in an African-American spirit. First Baptist Church, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 454-1357. SU N RA ARKESTRA: Marshall Allen leads the ensemble once directed by the late cosmic jazz great Sun Ra. Haybarn Theatre,

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aikido AIKID O O F CH A M PLAIN VALLEY: Adults, Mondays - Fridays, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m., Saturdays, 911:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 3:45-4:45 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $55/month, $120/three months, intro specials. Info, 654-6999. Study this graceful, flow ing m artial art to develop flexibility, confidence and selfdefense skills. AIKID O OF V ER M O N T: Monday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m., Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m., Sunday, 1011:30 a.m. Above Onion River Coop, 274 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art o f Aikido in a safe and supportive environ ment.

aromatherapy "L O T IO N S A N D P O T IO N S’: Thursday, June 3, 6:30-9 p.m. Star Root, Battery St., Burlington. $20. Info, 862-4421. Discover how to make your own lotions and body oils using nat ural bases and essential oils.

‘T H E ZEN O F CREATIVE PAINT IN G ’: Sunday, June 6, 1-4 p.m. The Book Rack, Winooski. $75. Register, 655-0231. Jeanne Carbonetti teaches this elegant and simple approach to the cre ative process with an emphasis on rhythm. SU M M ER ART CLA SSES: One-day, evening and week-long sessions for adults. $70-285. Burlington and S. Hero. Info, 372-5703. Take classes in printmakihg, pdhrtingfdstels, claywork, collage and journaling. ELD ER ART PROGRAM : Classes starting in June. Locations in Burlington, S. Burlington, Winooski, Williston, Richmond, Bristol, S. Hero and St. Albans. $32-40, new students; $16-24, returning students. Info, 6587454. Aspiring artists 5 5 and up learn to use charcoal, oil, watercolor, acrylic and matting.

IN T R O D U C T O R Y WEAVING: Five Wednesdays, May 26, June 2, 9, 16 and 23 and July 7, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Northeast Fiber Arts, 3062 Williston Rd., S. Burlington. $155. Info, 8654981. M ake samplers an d a project o f your choice while you learn the fun da mentals o f weaving on a floor loom. NAVAJO WEAVING: Saturday, June 5, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. and Saturday, June 12, 9 a.m.-noon. Northeast Fiber Arts, 3062 Williston Rd., S. Burlington.

$70. Info, 865-4981. Learn weaving techniques, colors and motifs used by the Navajo. PA IN TIN G CERAM ICS: Ongoing Wednesdays, 2-3:30 p.m. and 5:30-7 p.m. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-0102. Learn the fundamentals o f painting ceramics.

dance/movement ‘EXPERIEN TIA L ANATOM Y’: Friday and Saturday, June 4, 5 and 6. Middlebury College. $350. Register, 443-5245. Learn to draw on brain-body connections that shape our view o f our selves for teaching, performance work or health practices. SW ING, FLA M ENCO A N D JU M P JAZZ: Saturday and Sunday, June 5 and 6. Heineberg Club, Burlington. $18/person, $27/couple, $ 12/kids. Info, 800-821-0232. Take classes in Swing Tap, Flamenco, Jump Rhythm Jazz, Soft Shoe, Merengue, Scat Singing and Ju ba Patting.

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craft

teaeiiin

KABBALAH, M ED ITA TIO N AND ECSTASY: Sunday, May 23, Noon-6 p.m. Forrest’s Edge, Warren. $40. Register, 496-9022. Learn spiritual tech niques and powerful models for healing, based on a system o f ancient Jewish mysti cism. ‘D IM E N SIO N S O F BREATH SEM I N A R’: Friday, May 28, 6:30-8 p.m. McAuley Hall, Trinity College, Burlington. Free. Info, 879-7011. Learn about breathing techniquesfrom India, China and the Westfo r a more balanced, higher energy life. ‘D IM E N SIO N S OF BREATH W O R K SH O P’: Sunday, June 6, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Yoga Vermont, Studio B, Chace Mill, Burlington. $50. Info. 879-7011. Experience the power o f breath fo r healing understanding and joy.

herbs H ERB G A R D EN IN G : Sunday, May 23, 2-4 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Main St., Burlington. $15. Info, 865HERB. Learn how to grow your own herbs, from starting seedling indoors to the best harvesting techniques. H ERBA L T R E A T M E N TS FO R DIA BE TE S: Thursday, May 27, 6-8 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Main St., Burlington. $15. Info, 865-HERB. Focus on herbs proven to normalize blood sugar levels.

kendo K EN D O : Ongoing Wednesdays and

VIAY CLASSES LOVING YOUR CANCER

May 8,9:30 a.m.-noon. Learn to trust in your ability to heal the self. $40

EXPLORING YOUR CREATIVITY

May 22, 10:00 a.m.-3:00 p.m. Renew, refresh and inspire through writing and other vehicles to discover and invite your creativity. $50 TAPPING YOUR INNER SOURCE SHIRLEY KNAPP

May 26,7:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Tune in to the energy already present in your life to embrace joy. $35

Fridays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren Town Hall. Donations. Info, 496-4669. Develop focus, control and power through this Japanese samurai sword-fencing mar tial art.

language K ID ’S FREN CH CAMP: Monday through Friday, July 12 through 16, 24 p.m. The Book Rack, Winooski. $105. Register, 655-0231. Six- to eightyear-olds learn French through education a l games, sports, art and song. ITALIAN: Ongoing individual and group classes, beginner to advanced, adults and children. Burlington. Info, 865-4795. Learn to speak this beautiful language from a native speaker and expe rienced teacher. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language. SPANISH: Ongoing individual and small group lessons. S. Burlington. Info, 864-6870. Make 1999 the year you learn to speak another language.

meditation ‘T H E WAY O F T H E SU FI’: Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and move ment. M EDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations. M EDITATION: Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Green Mountain Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203, Williston. Free. Info, 872-3797. Don’t ju st do something, sit there! G U ID E D M EDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation fo r relaxation and focus.

m usic D ID G E R ID O O W O RKSH O P: Friday, May 21, 6-8 p.m . Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $10. Info, 660-8060. Learn the history and playing techniques oj an indigenous Australian instrument. M U SIC CAMP: Weeklong camps in June, July and August. Monteverdi Music School, Montpelier. $100-150. Info, 229-9000. Kids an d adults get instruction in fiddling, chamber music, piano, rock and blues.

photography PHOTOGRAPHY: Private or group, basic and intermediate classes. Info, 372-3104. Shutterbug take two-day workshops in black and white and Cibachrome printing or a five-week class

pottery PO TTERY CLA SSES: Ongoing day, evening and weekend classes for all ages and levels. Vermont Clay Studio, Rt. 100, Waterbury Center. Info, 2241126. Enjoy the pleasures and challenges o f working with clay.

reflexology FO O T A N D H A N D REFLEXO LO GY: Classes beginning soon. S. Burlington Yoga Studio, Barrett St. Info, 658-3766. Learn this fun and easy form o f acupressure from a certified reflex ologist.

reiki REIKI C LIN IC : Wednesday, May 26, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Donations. Info, 660-8060. Experience this non-invasive, hands-on healing tech nique that originated in the East. USUI REIKI I: Saturday, May 29, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 s. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $95. Info, 660-8060. Learn basic hand posi tions and the history o f Reiki, while you receive an “attunement. ”

ro lfin g ® RO LFIN G: Saturday and Friday, May 21 and 27, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Healthy Living, Market St., S. Burlington. Free. Info, 865-4770. Get a feel fo r this stressreducing deep massage method.

self-defense BU JIN KA N N IN JU T SU : Ongoing Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6:30-8:30 p.m. and Sundays, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Burlington. Info, 482-4924. This selfdefense style emphasizes relaxed, natural movement and distance to overcome an opponent. BRAZILIAN JIU -JIT SU : Ongoing classes for men, women and children, Monday through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Info, 660-4072 or 2539730. Escape fear with an integated selfdefense system based on technique, not size, strengh or speed.

spirit ‘SPIRITU A L Q U A N TU M LEAP’: Sunday, May 23, 2-4 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $25. Info, 660-8060. Reset your "internal controls”fo r the future instead o f the past.

support groups N A R C O TIC S A N O N Y M O U S: Ongoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, Help Line, 862-4516. I f you're ready to stop using drug, this go u p o f recovering addicts can offer inspiration. PRO BLEM D RIN KER?: Group now

A c t o r 's S tu d io £ •< A five-day intensive workshop featuring • improvisation • acting technique for stage and film • lecture * • scene study

forming in Burlington. Free. Info, 8644635. Join a go u p o f people seeking an alternative to Alcoholics Anonymous.

in basic camera skills; kids 12-18 take one-week day camps.

www.northwindsprod.com Northwinds Productions, Inc., Mountain Rd., Stowe, VT 05672-0781 (800) 410-2081 or (802) 253-2081 or northwnd@sover.net

yoga BEEC H ER H ILL YOGA: MondaySaturday, daytime & evening classes for all levels. Info, 482-3191. Get private or gou p instruction in integrative yoga, vig orous yoga, yoga fo r pregancy or yoga for health an d well-being. BIKRAM YOGA: Monday and Friday, noon, Wednesday, 6 p.m., Thursday, 7:15 p.m., Sunday, 4:30 p.m. Topnotch Resort and Spa, Stowe. Info, 253-8560. Increase strength an d flexibility and develop mental concentration with Bikram yoga. S. BU R L IN G T O N YOGA: Ongoing Tuesdays, 6-7:15 p.m., Thursdays, 6:30-7:45 p.m. and Wednesdays, 910:15 a.m. Barrett St., S. Burlington. Info, 658-3766. Focus on stretching breathing relaxation an d centering with Hatha yoga. YOGA: Wednesdays, 7 p.m. Green Mt. Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Williston. $8. Info, 872-3797. Practice yoga with Deborah Binder. YOGA AT T H E CREAMERY: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m., Fridays, 9:30-11 a.m., Saturdays, 45:30 p.m. The Creamery, Shelburne. $10/class, $60/eight classes. Info, 4822490. Practice Iyengar-styleyoga using props to a lig the body. YO GA V ER M O N T : Daily classes, 12 p.m., 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718. Astanga-style “power”yoga classes offer sweaty fun fo r a ll levels o f experience. YM CA YOGA: Ongoing classes. YMCA, College St., Burlington. Info, 862-9622. Take classes in various yoga styles.

23 may 2-4 p.mL$l5

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A Paint-Your-Own Pottery Studio ••• and Great Coffee Too!

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‘SIST ER S IN C R IM E ’: Friday, June 18, 7 p.m. The Book Rack, Winooski. Free. Register, 655-0231. Four successful mystery writers discuss “howdunnit. ” M YSTERY W R IT IN G : Saturday, June 19, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. The Book Rack, Winooski. $69. Register, 655-0231. Learn how to create suspense through lit erary clues and red herrings. PO ETRY W O RKSH O P: Thursdays, 1 p.m. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury. Free. Info, 388-7523. Bring a poem or two to read and discuss at this ongoing workshop.

Sustaining Joy Ju n e

writing

?Hcrt> Gardening with

holistic teacher, healer AWAKENING YOUR GIFT OF INTUITION May 16-20: 4-day retreat. $995. and author of

INDIVIDUAL SESSIONS BY APPOINTMENT & PHONE.

women V O LU N TE ER TR A IN IN G : Saturday, May 22. Burlington. Register, 6583131. Train to be a volunteer for Women Helping Battered Women. SELF-D EFEN SE/RA PE AWARE N E SS: Two Fridays, May 28 and June 4, 6:30-8:30 p.m. c.b. Fitness, One Main St., Burlington. Free. Register, 864-0555. Explore options in self-defense strategies.

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lilac festival

Goddard College, Plainfield, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 454-8311. SPRING CONCERT: The Lakes Region Youth Orchestra performs spirit-filled tunes from Bach and Brahms to Duke Ellington. Mill River Union High School, N. Clarendon, 4 p.m. $6. Info, 446-3488.

at S h e l b u r n e M u s e u m

M a y 22 - M a y 2 3 , 1 9 9 9 , i o : o o a m - 5:0 0 p m lilac auction • lilac walking tours horse-drawn carriage rides NEW

THIS

YEAR:

gardening & craft workshops

dance ‘PERFORMANCE ’99’: See May 2 1 ,2 p.m.

International Lilac Society Robert Herman o f White Flower Farm in Litchfield, Connecticut Steven Wisbaum, owner o f the Champlain Valley Compost Company

drama ‘ROSENCRANTZ AND G U ILD EN STERN ARE DEAD’: See May 2 1 ,2 p.m. ‘N U N SEN SE’: See May 20. FESTIVAL D E THEATRE DES AMERIQUES: See May 20.

music

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Yankee Chank * The Cold Country Bluegrass Band Spencer Lewis, accom panied by Patty Warlick

film IN D IE FILM SHOWCASE: See May 22. ‘W O OD STOCK: T H E D IRECTO R’S C U T ’: Michael Wadleigh’s epic documentary remembers the concert of the century, with restored footage, at Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603646-2422.

Free lilac seedlings— donated by Horsford Gardens and Nursery— will be given to the first 200 visitors on Sunday (one per family). Call (802) 985-3346 for information. Buy one adult adm ission and get another adm ission o f equal or lesser value free with this coupon.

Valid May 22 et May 23, 7999 only Limit one coupon per family, not to be used in conjunction with other offers or discounts. Shelburne Museum ■ ■ ■ ■ mmm mmm wmm

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PLAY READING: Local literati dig into the dramatic words of modern classics. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 6:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-3144.

kids FIRST BO O K STORYTIM E: Kids four and up benefit from new books and get a free sample of Pete’s a Pizza. Barnes & Noble, S. Bur-lington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORYTIME: Young readers delve into classic and new tales at a half-hour happening. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burling ton, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

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» !$ € • PA RTY Saturday, May 29th, 9:30-1:30 Higher Ground, Winooski $8.00 per person $6.00 with costume OJ Corey “Polyester” Gottfried Tickets ovoiloble ot the door Coll Grant Allendorf at 802-899-2823 for info.

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sport PARK HIKE: Tromp at a moder ate pace through Woodstock’s National Historic Park with the Green Mountain Club. Info, 8632433.

etc LILAC FESTIVAL: See May 22. BATTERED W OMEN VOL UNTEERS: See May 2. ‘T H E C O M PLETE A NGLER’: See Thursday, May 20. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 2-3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. ‘BLO O M -TIM E’ FESTIVAL: Take guided and self-guided tours through the May flowers at this event featuring exhibits, workshops and artists at work. Horticulture Research Center, Green Mountain Dr., S. Burling ton, noon - 5 p.m. Free. Register,

Presented By:

U N IV E R S IT Y M A LL >

(2 2 3 7b Benefit:

864-3073. SPRIN G FLING: ’Tis the season to do stuff outdoors. Eat, drink and check out property slated for a park to be purchased by the Jericho Land Trust. Mills Riverside Park, Jericho, 10 a.m. 5 p.m. Free. Info, 899-1262. W ILDFLOW ERW ALK: Search for spring flowers on a flora-filled walk at the Green Mountain Audubon Society, Huntington, 2 p.m. $4. Register, 434-3068. UVM C O M M EN CEM EN T: High-ranking history prof John Hope Franklin shares thoughts on justice, equity and race with graduates in Centennial Field, UVM, Burlington, 9 a.m. Free. Info, 656-2005. M ID DLEBURY GRADUA T IO N : Award-winning journalist John Wallach, founder and presi dent o f Seeds of Peace, delivers the commencement address at Middlebury College, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 443-5198. PEACE PARK O PENIN G: Celebrate a new community space with music, speakers and a lot of fresh air. Peace Park, Mont pelier, 2-4 p.m. Free. Info, 229-9918. BIRD FANCIERS CLUB: Poultry promoters mingle with other bird-lovers at a meeting, bird sale and raffle to raise money for the club. Hubbard Farm, N. Clarendon, noon - 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 263-5431.

24 monday m usic

• Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” CHAM PLAIN ECH OES: Harmonious women compare notes at a weekly rehearsal of the all-female barbershop chorus. The Pines, Dorset St., S. Burlington, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9500.

drama FESTIVAL D E TH EA TRE DES AMERIQUES: See May 20.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: Artists of all abilities are welcome to partic ipate in this weekly session. Fresco Studio, Union Station, Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. $3-5. Info, 862-4893.

kids STORYTIM E: Children from three to five enjoy stories, songs, finger plays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.

etc RUMM AGE A N D NEARLY

N EW SALE: The whole family finds deals on clothes, household items and toys at a weekly yard sale. Ohavi Zedek Synagogue, North Prospect St., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 862-2311. ‘SHARE O U R S T R E N G T H ’ D IN N ER : Local chefs come together to satisfy appetites for fine food and efforts to combat hunger in our midst. Dancing follows the dining at the Radisson Hotel, Burlington, 5:30-9 p.m. $49. Info, 863-5966. VEGETARIAN C O O K IN G D ISC U SSIO N : Warming to the idea o f a life without meat? Get a taste o f the alternative at Burgess Assembly, Fletcher Allen Health care, Burlington, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2278. LOONW ATCH M EETIN G : Fans o f the boisterous bird meet to plan the upcoming statewide survey. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 78:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-6206. Y2K C IT IZ EN S A CTIO N M EETIN G : Concerned folks convene to prepare for the mil lennial moment. Horn of the Moon Cafe, Montpelier, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0317. T EEN HEALTH CLIN IC : Teens get information, supplies, screening and treatment for sexu ally related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 863-6326. BATTERED W O M EN ’S SU P PO R T GRO U PS: Women Helping Battered Women facili tates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, , , 658-1996. Also, the Shelter Committee facilitates a meeting in Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0855.

25 rues uesday m usic • Also, see listings in “Sound Advice.” ORGAN M U SIC: Get the score from Bach, Couperin and Brahms at this performance by Mary Lou Kallinger. St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0471. BARBARY C O A ST JAZZ EN SEM BLE: Dartmouth’s siz zling student ensemble heralds their senior members at this jam ming jazz event. Spaulding Auditorium, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H . 8 p.m. $7. Info, 603 646-2422.

drama FESTIVAL D E TH EA TRE DES AM ERIQ UES: See May 20. DRAMA GRO U P: Dramatists discuss ideas for shows and share

G ra n d m a s a y s “B u y y o u r ticke ts e a rly !”

F riday , J une 4 4 P m & 7 :3 0 p m Sat . , J une 5 1 la m , 4pm & 7 :3 0 p m S unday , J une 6 i P m & 4 p m V.I.P. Ringside & Premium Reserved Seating Available! F o r T i c k e t s C a l l T he F l y n n R e g i o n a l B o x O f f i c e

802-863-5966

Look for special $4.00 Discount Coupon on General Admission Tickets available on Children 's M in n ie Xeltrork Promotional Fund-Raising Balloons

try offering ,

theatrical experiences at this weekly get-together in Winooski, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 655-6083.

words BU R LIN G TO N W RITERS GROUP: Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9647. OPEN STAGE: Readers, writers and musicians bask in the lime light at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-3144.

kid s H O M ESCH O O LERS GYM AND CRAFTS: Stay-at-home students take part in extracurric ular activities at the Burlington Boys and Girls Club, Oak St., Burlington, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. $1. Info, 860-1299. STORY TIM E: Kids under three listen in at the South Burlington Community Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. STORY H O UR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

sport W O M EN ’S RUGBY: See May

20 .

etc ‘EARTH STEW ARDSH IP’ D ISC U SSIO N : See May 22, Peoples Academy, Morrisville, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 888-6489. PU BLIC RELATIONS W O RK SH O P: Develop tools for getting the word out about your busi ness. Marketing Partners, 176 Battery St., Burlington, 3:30-5 p.m. $10. Info, 862-8347. YO U TH EM PO W ERM ENT W O RKSHO P: The Public Safety Project sponsors this ses sion on giving neighborhood kids a say. Emergency Food Shelf, 228 North Winooski Ave., Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, 658-2704, ext. 224. ASIAN EC O N O M IC S LEC TU RE: Visiting South Korean scholar Sae Young Bae shares “Lessons from the Asian Economic Crisis.” Farrell Room, St. Edmund’s Hall, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2727. ABUSE AND RAPE CRISIS V O LU N TEER TRA IN IN G : Volunteers working with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault develop skills to support

and empower survivors. Meet in St. Albans, 7 p.m. Register, 524-8538. OVEREATERS ANONY M OUS: Compulsive eaters weigh in on body image issues at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-8936. CAREGIVERS FOR T H E MENTALLY ILL: Friends, fami ly and anyone involved with the mentally ill get support at this monthly “share and care.” Howard Center for Human Services, 300 Flynn Ave., Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-6683. BATTERED W O M EN 'S SUP PO RT GRO UP: Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

Wednesday dance BU R LIN G TO N CO N TA CT JAM: See May 19.

drama FESTIVAL DE THEATRE DES AMERIQUES: See May

20 .

film ‘LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL’: Robert Benigni is Chaplin-esque in this tender story of a family that uses humor to fight for survival in a Nazi concentration camp. Rutland Plaza Movieplex, 7 p.m. $7. Info, 775-5413. FOREIGN FILMS D O U BLE FEATURE: Director Jean Renoir depicts French aristocrats in all their debauched glory in The Rules o f the Game. Love itself is a weekend game for couples, ex couples and would-be couples in Ingmar Bergman’s Smiles o f a Summer Night. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H ., 6:45 & 8:40 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See May 19.

words ROM ANTIC LITERATURE D ISC U SSIO N GROUP: Ayn Rand’s Anthem gets a hearing at this leisurely literary event. Borders, Church St. Marketplace,

Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. POETRY READING: Literary lions Will Herd and Tom Smith read verse with verve at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-3144. RON POWERS: The local author reads from his new biog raphy of Mark Twain, Dangerous Waters, at the Ilsley Library, Middlebury, 7 p.m. Free. Info,

388- 2061.

kids BO OKS AND CO M PU TER TIM E: Reading, activities and computer fun await preschoolers and their families at the Hinesburg Elementary School, 34:40 p.m. Free. Info, 482-3502. STORYTIM E: Four- and fiveyear-olds enjoy stories, songs, fin ger plays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STO RIES: Little listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Children’s Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

■ dC

sport SEN IO R WALKS: See May 19. SEN IO R BIKE TOU R: See May 19, 8 a.m.

etc Y2K EM ERGENCY PLAN N IN G FORUM: A Red Cross staffer and other public-safety experts talk town tactics for deal ing with the “Millennium Bug.” Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 879-2751. ST U D E N T W RITING C O N TEST: High-school scribes com pete in the final round of essay excellence after an address by Vermont poet laureate Ellen Bryant Voigt. 427 Waterman, UVM, Burlington, 9 a.m. Free. Info, 656-3833. BENEFIT FASHION SHOW: New and nearly new garb hits the runway to benefit the Flynn Theatre at this luncheon pre pared by the New England Culinary Instititue. The Inn at Essex, 11:30 a.m. $35. Info, 863-5966. ‘SPRING INTO T H E ARTS’ CELEBRATION: Youth artists throughout Addison County star in this two-day performance gala with special guests. Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 9 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 3821272. (!)

T i c k e t * NOW — D i i c o u n l i E n d IH.iy J O !

D a v id “ T h e O b sc u re W o rks o f Shake E llin g t o n a n d B illy S ia S y h o r n ’ llfim

« « Hwrrey D uo

This ALL-STAR cast includes l l f M I * * * * l3™65 Newton, vocalist Carmen Bradford, drummer jr B Andrew Cyrille, pianist Hilton / R u i z . saxophonists David Murray, John Purcell and ^ ^ ^ R a m i e t Bluiett, trombonist Craig jM m Harris, trumpeter Hugh Ragin / B i n d bassist Jaribu Shahid in a not||H P to-be-missed Ellington tribute!

Jf"77ie year's best concert and

Wring event in own right.." -

Gary Giddins, Village Voice

S t ill c ra z y a f t e r a ll th e s e y e a rs . Featuring 1 F l- n a n p

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115 S t . P au l S t r e e t • D o w n to w n B u rlin g to n • 8 6 2 -4 1 0 6

may 19,1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 21

C o n te m p o ra ry

P i n e .A r t 91

(Sollege

Street

B u rlington

864-3661 ■ Hours:

W ed - S u n a w

INTERIOR MOTIVE Barbara Wagners canvases o f riotous pattern and color give the term “domestic arts” new meaning. While she has had a longfascination with indoor scenes, her current exhibit at Shelburne’s Furchgott Sourdiffe

The Fine Art Frameshop

Gallery indicates Wagner is pushing

2069 Williston Road South Burlington 802*860-181l ❖ l - 888*533-4000

ever closer to abstraction. Andjudg ing from her palette, it appears this

he largest selection of fine artist materials at tremendous savings. Call us or stop by, it’s worth the drive. 635-2203 or 800887-2203. Q Located next to a*, the Vermont 2 Studio Center, c o Pearl St., q Johnson. "

Grand Isle painter has somewhere tropical on her mind.

c a ll to a rtis ts Art’s Alive will hold an outdoor chalk painting competition June 5 at Burlington City Hall Park. To pre register, send name, address and phone number to R. Fitzgerald at 863-1428, fax 863-6955, or e-mail Rfitzgerald@dore&whittier.com. Chalk and Fixative will be provided. Artists are wanted to share the cost o f a Figure model for long poses in natural light, without instruction. Sessions are at Essex Town Memorial Hall Wednesdays, 2-5 p.m. For info, call Julie, 878-0644.

o p en in g s FINE ART FLEA MART, featuring artists in the alley next to Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Every Saturday, 1-5 p.m.

SECOND ANNUAL FIREHOUSE OPEN, featuring 50 works in mixed media by local artists. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Seven Days art critic Marc Awodey leads an open critique o f the exhibit May 19, 6 p.m. COLCHESTER ART SAMPLER, featuring visual art works o f students K-12. Colchester High School, 863-3172. Reception May 20, 6:30-8 p.m. Show open also May 21, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m.

18TH ANNUAL CONGRESSIONAL ART COMPETITION, featuring work by young

Need your CREW CUT?

Vermonters. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Closing reception May 24, 10-11:30 a.m., followed by awards ceremony.

1999 SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL ART SHOW, featuring works in multi-media by students from Champlain Valley high schools. Pickering and Fletcher rooms, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8633403. Closing reception May 26, 6 p.m.

o n g o in g BURLINGTON AREA GIRL’S EYE VIEW, featuring photography

service 150 B Church Street

page 30

SEVEN DAYS

864.2088 • Across from City Hall

may 19,1999

and writing by Vermont Girl Scouts ages

weekly

11-14. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 878-7131. May 24 - July 4. HEADSTART ART, works by students of Jude Bond. Burlington City Hall, third floor, 865-7166. Through May. BELLWETHER SCHOOL ART SHOW, fea turing works by students K-8 based on studies o f France and Monets paintings at Giverny. Book Rack and Childrens Pages, Winooski, 655-0231. Show and benefit book fair through May. ONE HAND CLAPPING, five paintings reflecting East-West traditions, by Rick Hayes and Erick Kidhardt. Mezzanine, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8657211. Through May. JANE HORNER, an installation. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144. Through May.

SHAPES OF THE ROAD, SHAPES OF THE SEA, Italian photography by Lina Maria Testa. Courtyard Collection, Burlington, 660-0888. Ongoing. THE SICKNESS WITH NO CURE, musicinspired abstract drawings by David Perofif. Three Needs, Burlington, 4825457. Through May. JANET FREDERICKS, paintings, “On Land and Water,” and ROB GREENE, jewelry. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through May. Also, jewelry by Tim Grannis and other jeweler-arti sans. Ongoing.

ARTISTS OF HOWARD COMMUNITY SERVICES, featuring new work from the GRACE Art Workshop Program, Union Station, Burlington, 472-6857. Through May.

l i s t i n gs

HUGH T0WNLEY & EMILY BISSELL LAIRD, sculpture and paintings, respec tively. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through May. COLOR FUSION, featuring handpainted wooden bowls by Peggy Potter and art quilts by Janet Kurjan. Frog Hollow Craft Center, Burlington, 863-6458. Through May. BLACK & WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY by Jeff Clarke, Paul Hagar, Laury Shea and Jordan Silverman. Rose Street Gallery, Burlington, 862-3654. Through May 29. BARBARA WAGNER, New Paintings. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through June 15. SUPER CLOCKS, functional art clocks made by students of Stepping Stones Childrens Center, proceeds o f which will fund a new computer for the school. Beverly’s Cafe, Burlington, 860-1915. Through June 15. BENJAMIN ALBEE, ink and wash draw ings. Daily Planet Restaurant, Burlington, 375-2282. Also, construc tions in copper wire and flashing. Muddy Waters Cafe, Burlington. Both through May. PHOTO AND DESIGN ’99, works in pho tography and graphic design by Champlain College Students. Hauke Campus Center Hallway Gallery, Champlain College, Burlington, 8602700, ext. 2611. Through May 28. DANIEL LUSK, figure drawings in char coal. Book Rack Exhibit Space, Winooski, 655-0231. Through May.

www.sev endaysvt.com

DRAWINGS FOR SHE LOVES YOU, fea turing pen-and-ink illustrations by Lance Richbourg for the book of the same title by Elaine Segal. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through July 18. WIT AND WHIMSY, featuring watercolor drawings by Hal Mayforth, mixed-media and illustrations by Sarah Ryan. Flynn Gallery, Burlington, 652-4505. Through June 4. CATHARINE BALCO & DON TEETER, recent paintings and drawings. Working Design Gallery at the Men’s Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Through May. BOMBS AWAY, collage reactions to the bombing in Kosovo by UVM students. One Wall Gallery, A Burlington, 864-5684. Through May.,

Seven Days,

WAITING FOR THE BREAD TO RISE AND OTHER VARIATIONS, handmade mono prints from sketches outside the kitchen window, by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through May 23. WENDY MOORE, monotypes. Better Bagel, Williston, 879-2808. Through May.

TOIL AND SPIN: RECENT WORK BY KATHLEEN SCHNEIDER. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through June 6.

CENTRAL VERMONT PHOTOGRAPHS by Jamie Cope, “Women Eight to Eighty,” and Ken Aiken, “Venice: Three Perspectives.” Vermont Arts Council Gallery, Montpelier, 828-3778. Through June. ARTISTS WORKING TOGETHER For Studio Place Arts. Works in two and three dimensions by artists interested in the development of the Barre arts center. Aldrich Library, Milne Gallery, Barre, 229-9446. Through June.

THATCHER BROOK PRIMARY SCHOOL EXHIBIT, artwork by students K-4. Mist Grill Cafe, Waterbury, 244-2233. Through May 30. .......... s

CONTEMPORARY NATIVE AMERICAN DANCE SHAWLS by Jane Walker Richmond. La Brioche, Montpelier, 2294230. Through May. L0CHLIN SMITH, jewelry, garden orna ments and mobiles. The Artisans’ Hand Craft Gallery, Montpelier, 229-9492. Through May.

THREE PAINTINGS AND THE OTHER HEAD, works by John Matusz. Axel’s Frame Shop, Waterbury, 244-7801. Through May.

BEANS, BEANS...THE MORE YOU EAT THE MORE YOU ART, mixed-media works by Montpelier High School art students. Montpelier City Hall Showcase, 229-2766. Through May 23. SKYSCAPES & BEACH GRASS , watercolors, brush drawings and oil pastels by Pria Cambio. About Thyme Cafe, Montpelier, 223-0427. Through June 6. ART RESOURCE ASSOCIATION mem bers’ exhibits in mixed media at the State House Cafeteria and City Center Lobby, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through May 28 and June 6, respectively. CRAIG SCHARF, oil paintings. Art Gallery o f Barre, 476-1030. Through June 28. FORMATIVE EXPERIENCES, featuring new sculpture by Kathryn WysockeyJohnson and Lauren Cole, and work by the faculty. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Through May. HEAD START ART, featuring artwork by children, parents and staff at CVCAC. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Children’s Room, Montpelier, 223-1227. Through May 30. HEATON WOODS ART, featuring artwork by participants in an intergenerational art program between Union Elementary School and Heaton Woods. Berlin Mall, Berlin, 223-1157. Through May 28. SON AND EARTH, works in mixed media by Sally Keefe, Michael Heffernan, Elizabeth Nelson, Matt Anderson and Melinda White. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Through May 23. the c a r v in g s t u d io a n d s c u l p t u r e

CENTER ANNUAL MEMBERS SHOW,

featuring work in many styles. Smaller works and wo-dimensional art in the V Chaffee Center, Rutland1, larger wqrks installed at the Carving Studio, West ' : ' Rutland, A3&-2697. Through M a y J j; V

GENERATION OF CHANGE: VERMONT, 1820-1850, featuring artifacts and doc uments that examine how the state dealt with issues such as slavery, temperance, religious diversity and more. Vermont Historical Society, Pavilion Building, Montpelier, 828-2291. Ongoing. THE NAIVE SPIRIT, fine examples of folk art from the permanent collection. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 8288743. Through August 1. SILKSCREEN PRINTS by Sally Stetson. Shimmering Glass Gallery, Waterbury, 244-8134. Ongoing. CONTEMPORARY ART, by painters Tom Merwin, Ellen Hoffman, sculptors Robert Ressler, Dan George, photogra pher Suzanne Winterberger, and the Edinboro Bookarts Cooperative. Merwin Gallery, Castleton, 468-2592. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featur ing re-constructed objects o f all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing. FURNISHINGS AND PAINTINGS by Ruth Pope. Ruth Pope Gallery, Montpelier,

NORTHERN

MARGOT L. HOBBS, paintings from her past. Mary Bryan Memorial Art Gallery, Jeffersonville, 644-5100. Through June 16. 18TH ANNUAL STOWE STUDENT ART EXHIBIT, featuring artworks by local ele mentary, middle and high school stu dents. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through May 29. ABRAHAM MCNULLY, 40 sculptures cre ating one installation, “Time Experienced.” Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through May 29.

19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS including landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 2537116. Ongoing.

ELSEWHERE FOCUS ON THE BODY, West African

T h u r s d a y

FORESTS AND FIELDS, HILLS AND ^ ^ HOMES: 19th-Century Vermont Scenes by the Rdbinson Family, featuring^aSr-L. r_ toral landscapes.by Rowland E. ' Robinson and his daughter Rachael Robinson Elmer. Sheldon Museum," Middlebury, 3.88-2117. Through July., v THE BIG PICTURE, featuring largeTormat photography from European arid American artists. Middlebury College Museum o f Art, 443-2069. Through .. August 1. A BLOWING IN THE WIND, showcasing Vermont-made whirlygigs, weathervanes, kites, windsocks and mobiles. Frog Hollow State Graft Center, Middlebury, 388-3177- Through May 24.

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Body Ornaments of Brass. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 603-646-2809. Through September 19.

JACOB LAWRENCE, AESOP’S FABLES, featuring pen-and-ink drawings for the classic tales. Hood Museum o f Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N .H ., 603-646-2809. Through June 20. ON ALL FRONTS: Posters from the World Wars in the Dartmouth Collection, and

SARAJEVO: RECENT WAR POSTERS, more than 100 original posters from World Wars I and II, and the siege of Sarajevo. Hood Museum o f Art, Dartmough College, Hanover, N .H ., 603-646-2426. Through July 4.

PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership-area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public view ing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted.

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SEVEN DAYS

page 31

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when activated and connects to a player with a sort o f umbilical cable" plugged directly into the spine by mean o f a “bioport,” a modi fication o f the flesh so common, Leigh points out, that “you can even get them in malls now” The game takes place in a life-like alter nate reality and consist o f a series o f scenarios designed to prompt the player along a predeter mined path without ever revealing the objec o f the game. Figuring MIND GAMES Leigh and Law take a trip through the lookingout the rules is as muc glass and find malice in wonderland. a part o f playing as is winning. There’s trouble in EXISTENZ*** 1/2 prefab paradise, though. Leigh and Law have barely begun to make their merry way through Hey, for a David Cronenberg film this is the program when the invention o f the century actually halfway coherent and fun. And what turns into the fight o f their lives — the violent with all the hoopla over George Lucas’ new CGI forces they faced in the real world follow them thrillride, it’s also more than a little timely. into that o f the game. Jennifer Jason Leigh and Jude ( Gattaca) Law The picture is an achievement on two levels. star and, before I go any further, here’s a dis First, it’s unusually edge-of-your-seat stuff for th claimer: eXistenZ is one o f these hall-of-mirrors director. Lots o f twists, unexpected turns and deals. The story has more layers than a last-minute surprises. Second, Cronenberg has Vermonter on a cold day, so bear in mind that tapped into something worth pondering. when I talk about the plot, I’m only talking Namely, the ever-merging worlds o f man and th about what’s happening, in essence, at street manmade. Leigh’s ground-breaking game, after level. all, is just Cronenberg’s fantasy upgrade o f the Leigh plays a world-famous designer o f virtu real thing Lucas is downloading into theaters al-reality games. As the film opens she’s about to today. The Phantom Menace isn’t a movie any conduct a sort o f focus-group test run o f her lat more than The Lost World, Saving Private Ryan o est creation — a game called “eXistenZ” — Twister were movies. It’s an experience-replace when a member o f the audience suddenly ment system. A flight simulator. A breathless dig approaches her with a gun-shaped tangle o f bone ital rollercoaster ride and a thundering psyche and flesh and then shoots her with what we later delic arcade game. Strap in, go for the ride, learn is a human tooth. Law plays a lackey for scream and step out. Hollywood doesn’t interest the conglomerate that produces Leigh’s games. Lucas anymore — he wants to take over He stows her in a remote hideaway, where she Disneyworld. rests up and checks the damage to her new sys That’s the shrewd, sad and ironic subtext o f tem, while inviting Law to come along for the eXistenZ. The more motion pictures become ride. playgrounds for the mind, the more mindless The device itself is vintage Cronenberg — a they’re doomed to becom e.® plastic ovary-like contraption that undulates

North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Payback 12:15, 2:15, 4:30, 7, 9. Saving Private Ryan 2:35, 9:15. The Other Sister 12, 6:45. She’s All That 12:30, 2:30, 4:45, 7:15, 9:30. Cruel Intentions 12:45, 3, 5, 7:30, 9:45. Eve shows daily, mati nees Sat-Sun unless otherwise indicated.

CINEMA NINE

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Shelburne R cukI, S. Burlington, 864-5610 Star Wars* 10 (Fri-Sun enfr). 10:30 (Fri-Sun © n l& T 1:30, 4, * 3 0 , 7, 7:30, 10, 10:30* 12:50 (Fri-Sat only). Life Is Beautiful 6:35, 9:20. Cookie’s Fortune 12:45, 3:25, 6:55, 9:45. Entrapment 12, 2:30, 5, 7:25, 9:50. Shakespeare in Love imy 10:15 (Fri-Sat only), c 12:20, 3 : l i j 6 : 4 5 , 9: 12:40, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. Never 1 : 1 ^ 4 : 1 5 * 5 , lOrl _ Been Kissed 12, 2:25, 4:50, ;6, 9:45. Doug’s First Movie 11 daily unless otherwNe indicated. (FW-Sat only), 1 ,3 :3 0 . A lls!

Wednesday, June 2 3 ,7pm: TSfT Eric Benson, y T T M

NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Open Your Eyes* 1:30, 3:50, 6:40, 9. Lovers of the Arctic Circle* 1, 3, 5, 7:20, 9:40. My Mother’s Early Lovers 1:10, 3:30, 6:50, 9:10 (9:45 on Fri). A Midsummer Night’s Dream 1:40, 4:15, 7, 9:30. Gods and Monsters 1:40, 4, 7:30, 9:50. Election 1:20, 3:40, 7:10, 9:20. All shows daily.

THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Cookie's Fortune 6:30, 8:50.

SUNSET DRIVE-IN Colchester, 862-1800. CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343.

PARAMOUNT THEATRE 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621.

CINEMA Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 25* 4 6 7 8.

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5 YMston Road, S. Burlington, Entrapment 12:50, 3*20$" 9:25. 10 Things I Hate A 12:40, 3:30, 6:40, 9:20. Ail shows Sat/Sun.

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:30. The Mummy 1, 3:40, 7, 20, 3:50, 7:10, 9:45. Matrix This 1:15, 3:45, 6:45, 9:40. i-Fri. , .: 0 .

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i s t i n g s on w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

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previews STAR W ARS EPISOD E 1 : TH E PH ANTOM M EN A C E George Lucas has directed four films and made more than $5 billion, so you know it’s the business and not the art of movies which interests him most. His areas of expertise are merchan dising and computer effects (he’s the founder of Industrial Light & Magic). Unless I miss my guess, his latest will succeed far less as a fully fleshed-out story than as an advertisement for his company and an opportunity to make mil lions in tie-ins. (PG) TH E LO VERS OF T H E ARCTIC CIRCLE This Spanish drama tells

the labyrinthian love story of a boy and a girl who attempt to contin ue their relationship even after his divorced father marries her wid owed mother. (R) O PEN YO UR EY ES In this drama a disfigured Spanish young man is haunted by the accident which killed his ex-girlfiend. (R)

new on video HOLY M A N ** Eddie Murphy plays a mysterious home shopping net work host responsible for a mirac ulous turn-around in sales in the new film from Mr. Holland’s Opus director Stephen Herek. Jeff

Goldblum and Kelly Preston costar. (PG) V ER Y BAD T H IN G S **172 Cameron Diaz co-stars with Christian Slater, Jeremy Piven and Jon Favreau in this dark comedy about a bachelor party that takes a turn for the deadly. “Chicago Hope’”s Peter Berg wrote and directed. (R) IN D R E A M S *** From Oscar-win ning director Neil ( The Crying Game) Jordan comes this ambi tious but in the end disappointing tale of psychological terror about a children’s book illustrator whose dreams are infiltrated by a real-life madman. Annette Bening and Robert Downey Jr. star. (PG)

a piece of the action

shorts rating s cale

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T H E M U M M Y ** * The first half of this update o f the Boris Karloff classic is about as much fun as finding a live scorpion in your Fruit O f the Looms. Things take a turn for the entertaining, though, the minute people start digging up stuff at a mysterious Egyptian site and all digital hell breaks loose. Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz star. Stephen Sommers directs. (PG-13) A M IDSU M M ER NIG HT’ S D R E A M ** 172 Michelle Pfeiffer, Kevin Kline and Calista Flockhart star in the seventh big-screen adaptation of the Bard’s romantic romp. Michael Hoffman directs. (PG-13) M Y M O TH ER ’ S EAR LY L O V E R S ** * The latest from Vermont filmmaker Nora Jacobson stars Sue Ball, George Woodard, Michael Keene and Rusty Dewees in the story of a young woman who discovers her late mopther’s diary and, through it, a side of the woman she never knew existed. (NR) GODS AND M O N S T E R S ** ** Christopher Bram’s 1993 novel provides the basis for this buzzhappy look at the last days of director James (Frankenstein) Whale. Ian McKellen stars. (R) E N T R A P M E N T *172 The Mask o f Zorro’s Catherine Zeta-Jones stars here as an insurance investigator posing as a master thief in order to catch a master thief played by Sean Connery in the latest from Jon ( The M an Who Knew Too Little) Amiel. With Ving Rhames and Will Patton. (PG-13) E L E C T I O N * ** From Alexander Payne, director o f Citizen Ruth, comes this comedy about a high school teacher (Matthew Broderick) whose life is taken over by a student-council race. With Reese Witherspoon. (R) COOKIE’ S F O R T U N E * * * * Many critics are calling Robert Altman’s latest his best film since 1992 s The Player. Made on a relative shoestring, the picture boasts big-

NR p not reviewed. ticket talent like Liv Tyler, Glenn Close, Julianne Moore and Chris O ’Donnell, and concerns a feed ing frenzy that breaks out between the beneficiaries of an eccentric widow’s will. (PG-13) T H E M A T R I X * * * 172 Unfazed by the box office floppage of his last sci-fi effectsfest {Johnny Mnemonic), Keanu Reeves does the futuristic thing again in this digital free-for-all about terrorists who battle evil computers. With Laurence Fishburn. Larry and Andy Wachowski direct. (R) T EN THINGS I HATE ABOUT Y O U * * 172 You’d never guess it by looking at our mean I.Q. scores, but we’re apparently a nation of rabid Shakespeare fanatics. First there was that Best Picture Oscar. Now The Taming o f the Shrew gets updated as the story of a popular sophomore who’s forbidden to have a boyfriends until her older sister gets one, too. Julia Stiles and Larisa Oleynik star. (PG-13) DOUG’ S FIRST M O V I E * * 172 He’s the hardest working ’toon in show business. His popular half-hour show appears on both The Nickelodeon Channel and ABC. Now he makes the leap to the big screen with this full-length feature from director Maurice Joyce. Featuring the vocal stylings of Billy West and Fred Newman. (G) N E V E R B E E N K IS S E D ** * Drew Barrymore stars here as a Chicago magazine writer who researches a piece on today’s youth by going undercover and attending high school. And Raja Gosnell directs. David Arquette co-stars. (PG-13) A N A L Y Z E T H I S * * * 172 Harold Ramis has a knack for memo rable, smarter-than-ayerage come dies, and this looks like it might make his hit list one longer. Billy Crystal plays a suburban shrink. Robert De Niro co-stars as his newest patient, a powerful mob boss. With Lisa Kudrow. (R) S H A K ES P EA R E IN L O V E * * * John {Mrs. Brown) Madden directs this wisely praised look at what the

early years of the bard’s career and love life might have been like. Joseph Fiennes and Gwyneth Paltrow star. (R) LIFE IS B E A U T I F U L * * * * * Roberto Benignis Holocaust com edy took the Grand Jury Prize at this year’s Cannes festival. In addition to directing and co-writ ing, he also stars as an ItalianJewish father who tries to shield his son from the truth about con centration camps by pretending the whole thing’s an elaborate contest with great prizes. (PG-13) SAVING PRIVATE R Y A N * * * Steven Spielberg’s WWII you-arehere effects-fest did a decent tour of duty at the Golden Globe and Academy awards. (R) S H E ’S A LL T H A T * * * Pygmalian meets Porky’s in this teen saga about a high school hot shot (Freddie Prinze Jr.) who bets he can turn the geekiest girl on cam pus (Rachael Leigh Cook) into the next prom queen. With Anna Paquin and Paul Walker. (PG-13) TH E OTH ER S I S T E R ** 172 Juliette Lewis co-stars with Giovanni Ribisi in the story of a mentally handicapped woman grappling with the challenges of modern workplace. Ron Livingston and Jennifer Aniston. (PG-13) C R U EL IN T E N T IO N S **172 This isn’t the first time Les Liaisons Dangcrcuses has been brought to the big screen, but first-time director Roger Kumble has come up with something o f a first any way: He’s set the classic tale of lust and manipulation in a mod ern high school, Ryan Pbillippe, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Reese Witherspoon star. (R) P A Y B A C K **172 Once again Mel Gibson is mad to the max. This time it’s because mobsters have failed to pay a large sum owed to him. Lucy Liu and Gregg Henry co-star in this blood-soaked saga of debt collection. (R)

Time once again for the version of our game in which we freeze an actionpacked frame from a well-known film and extract a pivotal puzzle-shaped piece from the picture. Your job, as always, is to come up with the movie anyway.

TITLE

For more filmfun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday and Friday on News Channel 5! LA S T W E E K ’S W IN N ER S LA S T W E EK ’S ANSW ERS:* FAMOUS FACE A: UMA THURMAN FAMOUS FACE B: MELANIE GRIFFITH

N O N E!

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may 1 9 ,1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 33

t i ■ D

Where’s the Catch? tO *#

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hey used to be pithy. They used to have piz zazz. T hey used to make big prom ises we knew they couldn’t keep, and you know what? We didn’t care because they were so dam n entertain ing. I ’m talking about tag lines. Slogans. Catch phrases. M ottoes. T hose im m ediately m em orable turns o f phrase that com e in the closing sec onds o f a television spot and, with a few m asterfully chosen syllables, sum up everything an announcer has been struggling to get at for the previous m inute or so. I’ve always harbored a lone ly fondness for these little lines o f corporate poetry. A t their best, they can be m iniature bits o f literature with soul and hum or and verbal bravado. Their creation was an art form , one which saw its golden age decades ago when M adison Avenue deities like D avid O gilvy were creating the uni

L u b e

verse o f m odern advertising before the viewing public’s eyes. “A little dab’ll do ya.” Well, hardly anyone wears Brylcreem anymore. But hardly anyone writes catch phrases that are catchy anymore, either. I’ve been doing a little research on the subject. M y highly scientific findings — gibberish scribbled on the back o f paper towels while eating dinner in front o f the T V — include two startling discover ies: First, m ost o f today’s tags are void o f even the slightest trace o f joyful word play. Many, in fact, give the im pres sion o f having been written by sleep-deprived high school juniors as part o f remedial lit eracy hom ework assignments. A nd, second, virtually all fall into one o f the following four categories:

MORE IS BETTER These are straight out o f

Tag W riting 101 — the ad copy equivalent o f “M y dad can beat up your dad.” A prod uct’s slogan proclaims it “the biggest on the road,” “the best at any price,” that it offers “more for your dollar” than its competition. You wouldn’t think the current crop o f copy writers could screw up any thing as barebones as this. But guess what — you’d be wrong. Baffled, too, if you’re like me. W hat on earth, for example, would you guess they’re trying to get at here: “Makes good food better” (Reynolds Wrap). So, if I wrap up a hamburger in the m orn ing, you’re saying it’ll be filet m ignon by dinner time? “The best pizzas under one roo f” (Pizza H ut). One roof? I could have sworn this was a chain with hundreds o f restaurants coast to coast. “We’re more than great coats” (Burlington C oat Factory). Uh-huh. You’re a fac tory, too, apparently. “A lot more to love” (Plymouth N eon). Is this a cute way o f announcing you built a bunch o f new cars to sell this year? Gee, that really sets you apart from the crowd. “The plus means better” (Goodwrench Service Plus). Thanks. N ow do me a favor and look up “duh” for me, too, will you?

IS THAT A FACT? You think those were the handiwork o f subnormals? You haven’t even begun to shudder at what passes for professional-

frl

quality ad copy on television today. G et a load o f these dubious assertions offered up as gospel truth: “The way a sandwich should be” (Subway). Unless, o f course, I happen to want grilled cheese, a whole wheat club, tuna on toast, P B & J... “There’s only one” (Jeep). Then shouldn’t it be sold by nowr ‘This changes everything”

You w ouldn’t think the urrent crop of copyw riter could screw up anything as barebones as this. But T? uess w hat — you’ r i ¥ 7 w

r o n g s

(Dodge). My, but we are a bit full o f ourselves, aren’t we? “N othing runs like a Deere” (John Deere). Why? D oes it use plutonium ?

HUH? See, this is what happens when our young people are allowed to graduate from high school barely able to read and write. They im m ediately find jobs on M adison Avenue and make five times what you and I do. They don’t make a whole lot o f sense, however: “T he feel o f sm art design” (Schick). I’ve read less cryptic utterances by N ostradam us. “It’s not a loan. It’s a way out o f debt” (Genus H om e Equity Loans). Sure. Then why don’t you change your name to G enus Ways O u t o f D ebt You D on ’t Have to Pay Us Back For? “A dding to the value o f your life” (Toyota). W hat are they saying here? T h at your life isn’t worth as much if you drive a different make o f car? T h at’s just what we need — a whole new brand o f bigotry. “Engineered to be great cars” (Chrysler). Well, are they great cars or not? Isn’t this like saying, “Yeah, they’re not so hot, but we m eant to make them good?” “Ford. For now. Forever.” W hat do you bet they didn’t put that in the warranty? “Lasting O lay color that cares.” I’ve heard o f buying affection, but this is ridiculous.

SAY PLEASE W hat today’s m ottom akers lack in wit, panache and basic literacy skills they more than make up in bossiness. The largest category by far is that o f the direct order. Force has always stepped in when reason couldn’t get the job done and,

-19, 1999

L j , ■ * y *' c*. ■ W .

since the present generation o f ad writers can’t conjure clever ways to m ake us do what they want, they often resort to stam ping their feet and issuing demands: “G et your burger’s worth” (Burger King). “D on ’t take chances — take O s-C al” (OsC al Calcium Supplem ents). “Imagine life without Allergies and Sinus Pain” (Benedryl). “G o safely. G o M idas.” “Live

well. Snackwell.” “Express yourself” (Kinkos). “Wake up and drive” (M itsubishi). “ Pamper the skin they’re in” (Pampers). “ G et in. Be m oved” (M iata). A nd then there’s “Try it now” (A T & T directory assis tance). W ith all its billions, this is the best A T & T could com e up with? C an you im ag ine the mean I Q at the agen cies that didn’t get this job? N o t that you don’t still run across a gem now and then. The New York Times “Expect the w orld” is better than one has com e to expect. Century 2 1 ’s “ Real estate for the real w orld” is the closer for an inspired cam paign. I get a kick out o f the current slogans for C N N Financial’ “We mean business,” and K odak’s “Taking pictures further” — though I have to adm it I’m not sure what the latter means. M y favorite tag line at the m om ent is for the prescription drug Propecia: “ H elping make hair loss history.” M y god! An actual double m eaning in an age when m ost copywriters can’t m anage even one! T V ad tags may seem an odd device to use when taking the nation’s linguistic tem pera ture. T h e way I figure it, though, if our country’s grasp o f its language has slipped to the point where we can’t even produce coherent, gram m ati cally sound and captivating utterances in increments o f just seven or eight words, then we’re right around the evolu tionary corner from howling and barking again. C om e to think o f it, that m ight be good news for the writers o f these things. T hen , at least, the dogs in Am erica’s living rooms m ight be able to make sense o f them. 0

i \ :

‘ »■ f (

: i

deadline: monday, 5 pm • phone 802.864.5684 • fax 8 0 2 .8 6 5.10 1 5 L IN E ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25 words: 300 a word. Longer running ads are discounted. Ads must be prepaid. D ISPLAY ADS: $ 1 3 per col. inch. Group buys for employment display ads are available with the Addison Independent, the St. Albans Messenger, the Milton Independent and the Essex Reporter. Call for more details. VISA and M ASTERCARD accepted. And cash, of course.

EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT ADULT XXX STORE CASH IERS, 1 8 + , w a n t e d ,

35 h rs. or 1 5 h rs . G re a t p a y, fu n , c o m f o r t a b le , s a fe a n d u n i q u e w o r k e n v ir o n m e n t a t i m a g o , 3 3 Ja s p e r M in e R d ., C o lc h e s te r , V T 0 5 4 8 6 . 8 9 3 2 9 7 7 or fa x : 8 9 3 -2 6 5 9 . E O E .

ARE YOU FASHION CON SCIOUS a n d lo v e f u n , c o m f o r t a b l e , n a t u r a l - f i b e r c lo th in g ? If s o , h o w a b o u t j o i n in g t h e t e a m a t C la y 's ? W e ’ re lo o k in g fo r m o tiv a t e d a n d o u t g o i n g t e a m p la y e r s fo r s a le s p o s it io n s w it h r o o m fo r g r o w th & a d v a n c e

CARPENTER WANTED: E x p e rie n c e d c a rp e n te r s o u g h t. G o o d ra te s . F le x ib le h o u rs . K n o w l e d g e o f w h o le -h o u s e a n a ly s is u s e f u l , b u t c a n t r a i n . 6 6 0 -8 9 0 3 .

CLEANING PERSON:

P a r t-tim e p o s . a v a ila b le , 4 h rs . m o rn in g s , 5 d a y s /w k . S tr o n g w o rk e t h i c r e q u ir e d ; l a z y n e e d n o t a p p ly . A p p l y in p e rs o n b e tw e e n 1 0 a .m .- n o o n o n l y a t T h e V T P u b & B re w e ry, c o rne r o f C o lle g e & S t . P a u l S t . , B u r l .

m e n t . C a ll 8 7 9 - 0 2 1 2 x l .

Northeastern Family Institute

Northeastern Fam ily institute, an expanding statew ide provider of mental health treatment services for children, adolescents and families, is seeking an:

• IN H O M E FAMILY W ORKER: Exciting positon w ork ing with families doing in hom e/hands-on w ork with kids and families involved with In-Home Wrap program. Great opportunity to participate in clinical w ork and explore family system s. Position also includes som e case management. 30 h our/w eek benefited position with flexi ble schedule including early evening and w eekend hours. Clinical supervision included. BA required an d experT ?v ence w orking with children and adolescents is preferred. Send resum e to Laura Rabinowitz, LICSW, NFI, PO Box 1415, Willsiton, VT 05495, 802-878-5769. • AWAKE O V E R N IG H T C O U N SE L O R for its Residential Treatment Program. Benefited 30 h ou r/w eek position. Bachelor's degree and experience with adolescents preferred. Send resum es to Jeff Mann, NFI, S. Willard St., Burlington, Vt )5401, 802-864-3857 fax.

CUSTOMER SERVICE REPR E SENTATIVE: A d v e n t u r o u s T r a v e le r B o o k s to r e . P a r t - t i m e p o s itio n ( 2 0 - 2 5 h r s .) in g r o w in g m a il-o r d e r c o m p a n y . M u s t h a v e s t r o n g in te re s t in t h e o u t d o o r s . E x t e n s i v e p h o n e w o rk a n d d a ta e n t r y r e q u ir e d , re ta il e x p e r ie n c e h e l p f u l . S e n d r e s u m e t o : A l e x M e s s in g e r , P O B o x 6 4 7 6 9 , B u r lin g to n , V T 0 5 4 0 6 , 8 6 0 -6 776 .

FOOD PREP/DISH:

Ea rn &

GENERAL MANAGER:

O tte r C r e e k F o o d C o - o p is s e e k in g F / T s to r e m g t . o f a n e w ly fo r m e d c o o p e r a t iv e . A p p l i c a n t m u s t h a v e e x p e r ie n c e in n a t u r al f o o d s c o o p e r a t iv e r e ta il s e t t i n g . S u p e r v is o r y & c u s to m e r s e r v ic e s k ills a m u s t . W o r k w / a c tiv e b o a r d , c o m m i t t e d m e m b e r s h ip & s t a f f t o h e lp s h a p e & i m p l e m e n t o u r v is io n f o r o u r c o -o p . R e s u m e to : 0 C F C , B o x 3 5 9 , V e rg e n n e s, V T 0 5 4 9 1 .

OUTDOOR SUMMER WORK: S o c i a l l y r e s p o n s i b l e , s e r v ic e o r i e n t e d , t o p - e n d r e s id e n t ia l p a in tin g c o m p a n y se e k s b r o g h t , t e a m - o r ie n t e d m e n & w o m e n fo r s u m m e r e m p l o y m e n t . P a i n t e r s w / s o m e e x t e r i o r e x p e r ie n c e w e l c o m e ; t r a i n in g a ls o a v a ila b le f o r e n t r y le v e l p o s i t io n s . C a ll P a u l , La fa y e tte P a in tin g , 8 6 3 - 5 3 9 7 .

RECEPTIONIST/OFFICE HELP: E n t r y le v e l, 2 0 h r s ./ w k . R e s p o n s i b il i t i e s in c lu d e p h o n e , filin g m a il, w o rd p ro c e s s in g . C o v e r le t te r a n d

le a rn w it h o u r q u a l i t y t e a m . R e a l life e x p e r ie n c e o r w ill

HERON DANCE, A NON PROFIT p u b l i c a t i o n , r e q u ir e s

t r a i n . P a u l i n e ’s , 1 8 3 4 S h e lb u r n e R d ., S h e lb u r n e .

a n o r g a n iz e d p e rs o n t o m a n a g e s u b s c r ib e r r e la tio n s a n d d o I n t e r n e t r e s e a r c h . F u l l - o r p a r tt im e . $ 8 - $ 1 0 / h r . P le a s e s e n d

re s u m e to E n g in e e r in g V e n tu r e s , 7 K ilb u r n S t ., B u r lin g to n , V T 0 5 4 0 1 ,

r e s u m e to P 0 B o x 1 0 7 9 , R ic h m o n d , V T 0 5 4 7 7 .

e n g v e n t @ a o l .c o m , o r f a x to 8 6 3 - 6 3 0 6 .'

Administrative Assistant Personable and self-moti vated individual needed to assist Office Manage ment in a unique profes sional environment. Opportunity for personal growth and excellent employee benefit package. Proficiency in Microsoft Word, Excel and Access essential. Hours: 8:305:00, Monday - Friday Contact: Judy Mammorella

COFFEE ENTERPRISES

H e y Clean er sI House cleaners, office cleaners, janitors:

Tired of low wages?.’Would you liie to wori wltfc people, ratter ttan for people? Have you ttougit about going into business for yourself, but would ratter have tte partners? come to a meeting to tali about your job witt otter people wto clean for a living. Hear about tte potential benefits (and tte challenges) of starting a cooperative cleaning business.

WHen? Saturday nay 22, 1-2:30 or Wednay 26, 2-8:30. WHere? Fletcber Tree Library Community Room. Sponsored by the New Leaf Cooperative Enterprise Program of the Burlington Community Land Trust. For information call 660-0640.

802-865-4480 mhmnmmn

USE VINEGAR IN SALAD, NOT COOLING SYS TEMS D ear Tom an d Ray, I am w riting about changing the coolant in my vehicles. I have two cars an d an R V that are ready fo r this service. W hat do you think o f applying a bit o f vinegar into the system, letting it circulate a bit, then drain in g the system an d addin g the new coolant? — Ralph T O M : Great idea, Ralph. And if the vinegar mixes with a lit tle bit o f oil that happens to be in the cooling system, when you drain it you'll end up with a delicious vinaigrette. RAY: I think that's how Paul N ew m an got started in the

salad dressing business. T O M : Actually, you probably don't need to put anything in your cooling system. I f the system is in good shape, you can just drain out the old coolant, dispose o f it properly and put the new coolant in. RAY: I f you've ignored your cooling system for many years and it's now corroded, then I'd start by using one o f the bottled cooling-system flushes that are available at any auto parts store. I f you have a lot o f corrosion, then you m ay need to go to a m echanic who can power flush your system. T O M : So an auto parts store? Yes. A mechanic? Yes. T he condim ents aisle o f your superm arket? I don 't think so. D ear Tom an d Ray, A fter my wife left her M ercury

Tracer a t the dealer fo r a tuneup, she received a call from the service manager. H e said one o f the spark plugs was stuck an d could not be removed without the risk o f breaking it. D id they teach you a t M IT how to get a steel plu g out o f an alum inum cylinder head without causing expensive dam age? — Vic T O M : N o, we didn't learn that at M IT, Vic. We learned that the hard way— twice— on Rocco Cannoli's C oupe DeVille. RAY: Here's the recommended technique. First, you spray the plug with penetrating oil and drive the car. D o this every day for a week or so to allow the oil to really, what? Penetrate! T O M : T hen, when the engine is cold, you very gently try to work it out. You have to be careful not to force it, or you'll strip the hole and ruin the cylinder head.

RAY: Each time you make a little progress you spray on some more penetrating oil, and then work it som e more. It could take hours to get it out, so be patient. T O M : I f you absolutely can't get it out, or— the more likely scenario— you break it while trying to get it out, then you have to have the plug "drilled out." Fortunately, the plugs on this car are all within easy reach, so you don't have to remove the cylinder head to do it. RAY: After you successfully drill out the old plug, you use a "H eliC oil" screw-threaded insert to create a new set o f threads, and then you're back in business. T O M : We see this problem a lot on engines that have "long life spark plugs" in them. After 60,000 or 100,000 miles, there's nothing wrong with the plugs, except that they've, as Buddha w ould say, "becom e one" with the

cylinder head. So even if you use long-life plugs or own one o f those cars that calls for a tuneup every 100,000 miles, have your m echanic remove and reinstall the plugs every 30,0 0 0 miles or so ju st for kicks. A t least that way you'll be able to get them ou t when you need to. G o o d luck, Vic. How can you tell i f a used car is in good condition— or even OK, fo r th at m atter? F in d out by ordering Tom an d Ray's pam phlet "How to Buy a Great Used C ar: Things That D etroit an d Tokyo D on VWant You to Know. " Send $ 3 an d a stam ped (5 3 cents), self-addressed, No. 1 0 envelope to Used Car, PO Box 6 4 2 0 , Riverton, N J 0 8 0 7 7 -6 4 2 0 . G ot a question about cars? Write to Click a n d Clack in care o f this newspaper, or em ail them by visiting the C ar Talk section o f cars.com on the World Wide Web.

note: refunds cannot be granted for any reason. account toward future c la ssifie d s placem ent only. ________________ „ even so, m istakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustm ent for error is lim ited to republication, in any event, liability for errors (or om issions) sh all not exceed the cost of the sp ace occupied by su ch an error (or om ission), all advertising is su b je ct to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or d eclin e any ad without com m ent or appeal.

fe -

assitie

EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT BUSINESS OPP.

RVS NEEDS YOU! L o c a l c a ll c e n t e r s e e k in g s e v e ra l i n d i v i d u a ls w i t h e x c e lle n t p h o n e s k ills f o r a v a r ie t y o f p r o je c ts . F l e x i b l e h o u r s a n d e x c e lle n t p a y p lu s b o n u s e s . 8 7 2 - 8 1 3 0 .

SUMMER EMPLOYMENT:

V e r m o n t E x p o s a re lo o k in g fo r r e s p o n s ib le in d i v i d u a l s t o w o r k p a r t-tim e fo r th e 1 9 9 9 b a s e b a ll s e a s o n . P le a s e c a ll 6 5 5 4 2 0 0 fo r m o re in fo r m a tio n .

SAM PLE SERVER/PRODUCTION MGR. a t s m a ll c l o t h i n g

THEATRE/ARTS POSITION AVAILABLE: T h e G a il e r

c o m p a n y . S e e k in g m o tiv a te d ,

S c h o o l , a s m a ll p r o g re s s iv e in d e p e n d e n t sc h o o l fo r g ra d e s 7 - 1 2 , s e e k s a c r e a t iv e a n d o rg a n ize d p e rs o n . H a lf-tim e p o s i t io n . D ir e c t t w o p la y s e a c h y e a r, o n e p u b lis h e d a n d o n e s tu d e n t-b u ilt/ w r itte n (a n d

i n t e ll i g e n t , c r e a t iv e p e rs o n w it h e x p e r i e n c e . S a la r y n e g o t i a b l e . S e n d r e s u m e to S a la a m , 1 3 3 C re a m e ry S t .^ , P la in fie ld , V T 0 5 6 6 7 .

STABLE H ELP WANTED:

P a rt-

t im e , a fte rn o o n s & w e e k e n d s . D u t ie s in c lu d e m u c k i n g , f e e d in g & t u r n o u t . E x p . p r e fe r r e d . P le a s e c a ll C h r i s , 4 8 2 - 6 0 0 9 , le a v e m e s s a g e .

(•a ***

Sneakers is hiring full- or part-time kitchen help. Flexible hours. G ood pay. Excellent w ork environment. Experience helpful, but will train the right person with the right attitude. Please call 655-5586. Ask for Joh n or Chris.

CAMPERS

w h i c h m ig h t in c lu d e m u s i c , s in g in g a n d m o v e m e n t ) . T e a c h o c c a s io n a l a r ts e le c tiv e s ( p o s s ib ilit ie s i n c l u d e t h e a t r e s k ills , m u s ic , s h o ra l, a r t ...) . C o o r d i n a t e a rts p r o g r a m s th r o u g h o u t th e s c h o o l. A s s is t f a c u l t y w i t h i n te g r a t in g t h e a t r e in to t h e c la s s r o o m . O v e r s e e a r ts b u d g e t s , s u p p l ie s a n d o f f e r i n g s . P o s s ib i l it y o f le a d in g a s in g in g g r o u p . L o t s o f a r tis tic fre e d o m a n d g re a t fa c u lty a n d s tu d e n ts w ith w h ic h to w o rk . S e n d le t te r a n d r e s u m e t o P o p p y a t T h e G a ile r S c h o o l, 4 0 6 6 S h e lb u r n e R d ., # 2 , S h e l b u r n e , V T 0 5 4 8 2 . O r c a ll 8 0 2 -9 8 5 -1 2 7 6 .

T J ’S WINES & SPIR ITS

o ffe rs t h e f o l l o w i n g p o s i t io n s : D e l i p r e p o r lin e e x p e r ie n c e r e q u i r e d ; B o t t l e ro o m / S to c k e r — fu ll-tim e o r 2 p a rtt i m e ; C o u n t e r — s a le s & c u s t o m e r s e r v ic e ; D e li d e l iv e r y d r i ve r— 1 1 : 3 0 a .m . to 2 :3 0 p .m ., m u s t h a v e r e lia b le c a r.

CAMPER:

WE’RE LOOKING FOR AN a m b it io u s e n t r e p r e n e u r o r c o u p le to g e t s ta rte d in a h o m e b a s e d b u s in e s s r e p r e s e n tin g

Exciting internship positions to work on development of major art exhibition and publication portraying in word and image the enduring legacy of the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, J r . The exhibi tion is being produced in collaboration with the Smithsonian Institution. Interns will be responsible for identifying, locating and cataloging art work made in response to the influence of Dr. King. Additional responsibilities include iiasion with museums, institutions and galleries; contact with artists; correspondence; and project coor dination and development. Outstanding opportunities to learn exhibi tion and publications development. Summer or long-term. Send resume or call Verve Editions, 209 College S t. Burlington, V T 05401. Call 860.2866 or fax 860-7411.

The

S t r a ig h t

D ear Cecil, How w ould I go about pu ttin g a curse on someone? With voodoo, preferablyI Is there someone I w ould have to contact, or could I do it a ll a t home? Thanks in advance. — A quiet loner in Northern C alifornia

HOMES FROM $5,000.

S lid e -in p ic k -u p c a m p e r , fi t s a n y s i z e t r u c k . C r a n k -u p t o p . 3 -w a y fr id g e , r a n g e , f u r n a c e . S le e p s fo u r . V e r y c le a n . $ 1 , 0 0 0 o .b .o . 8 6 2 -3 3 4 1.

F o r e c lo s e d a n d r e p o s s e s s e d . N o o r lo w d o w n p a y m e n t . C re d it tro u b le O K . F o r c u rre n t lis tin g s c a ll 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 1 1 - 5 0 4 8 e x t .3 4 7 8 .

BURLINGTON:

2 0 8 F ly n n , n e a r O a k le d g e P a r k . B ric k fa c to r y t r a n s f o r m i n g ...s t u d i o / o ffic e / fit n e s s / c a fe / e t c . R e a d y fo r c u s to m f i t - u p . C o n t a c t D a v id , 9 8 5 - 2 3 9 1 or F L Y N N 2 0 8 @ to g e th e r. n e t.

'79 VW CAMPER,

t h e le a d in g m a n u f a c t u r e r o f h ig h t e c h a ir a n d w a te r p u r i fie r s . W ill tr a in y o u e v e r y s t e p . F u l l - o r p a r t - t i m e . C a ll C r is p A ir , 2 4 4 - 8 3 4 4 , or fa x 2 4 4

C a lifo r n ia c a r , f u l l y - e q u i p p e d ., 9 0 K o r ig . m i . , d e s e rt t a n , r o o f r a c k , lo ts o f n e w p a r ts , r u n s g r e a t . M o v i n g , m u s t s e ll. $ 4 ,0 0 0 o .b .o . 6 5 2 - 4 0 5 6 .

house 1x 1

8 5 6 7.

VOLUNTEERS BIG HEAVY WORLD SE E K S v o l u n t e e r g r a n t / b iz w r ite r w ith

MIDDLEBURY/BURL/SO. BURL, to BARRE: I a m lo o k in g to sh a re

t a k e -n o - p r is o n e r s s p i r it . A l s o , W e b h e lp t o r e p u b lis h th r e e

d r iv in g to w o rk . W illin g to m e e t h a lf-w a y , p re fe rra b ly on R te . 7 . H o u r s are 8 to 5 , M - F . ( 3 0 5 7 )

y e a r s o f liv e c o n c e r t p h o to s ; 2 1 + h e lp w it h live a n d r e c o r d e d I n t e r n e t b r o a d c a s tin g , a n d

RICHMOND to ESSEX JUNC TION: I a m lo o k in g fo r a ride to

a d m in is t r a t iv e h e lp c o n t a c tin g

w o rk M - F , g e n e ra lly 9 to 5 , b u t ca n be ve ry fle x ib le . ( 3 0 5 9 )

lo c a l b a n d s fo r v a r io u s c o m m u n i t y - m i n d e d p r o m o t io n a l

ESSEX to BURLINGTON: I am

o p p o r tu n itie s . H e lp u s g ro w as

lo o k in g fo r a ride to U H C . I w o rk 3 to 1 1 : 3 0 , M - F a n d a lte rn a te w eekends. (3 1 4 6 )

B u r l i n g t o n ’s t e c h - h e a v y g u e r r il la v a n g u a r d f o r lo c a l m u s ic .

AUTOMOTIVE

UNDERHILL/RICHMOND to MIDDLEBURY: G o in g m y w ay?

VW GULF, 1992:

A / C , s u n r o o f, n e w m o to r , n e w b r a k e s , H a k k a p e l i i t t a t ir e s . R u n s g r e a t !! $ 3 ,1 0 0 o .b .o . C a ll 2 5 3 -9 5 4 1.

a rid e to w o r k . M y h o u rs are 6 a .m . to 5 p .m ., M - F w ith fle x ib le e v e n in g h o u rs . ( 3 0 8 8 ) I a m lo o k in g fo r a rid e to th e N a tio n a l L ife B u ild in g . M y h o u rs are 8 to 5 , M - F . ( 3 0 7 2 )

BURLINGTON to WINOOSKI: I

a m lo o k in g fo r a rid e o n e w a y to w o r k , M -F . I h a ve to be in b y 7 a .m . ( 3 0 7 0 )

BRISTOL to BURLINGTON: I

SO. BURLINGTON to TAFTS CORNERS: I a m lo o k in g fo r a

1 6 V , fu ll s e ts o f w in t e r & s u m m e r t ir e s , s u n r o o f. F u n , f a s t , d e p e n d a b le c a r . $ 3 ,0 0 0 . C a ll M i k e , 4 9 6 -3 1 3 4 .

LINCOLN/BRISTOL to SO. BURLINGTON: I ’ m lo o k in g

VW GULF GTI, 1989:

BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER:

w o u ld like to s h a re th e ride to a n d fro m w o rk . M y h o u rs are 8 :3 0 to 5 p .m ., M -F . ( 3 1 4 2 ) w o u ld like to sh a re d riv in g to w o rk to c u t d o w n on th e w e ar a n d te a r on m y ca r. I w o rk 8 a .m . to 5 p .m ., M -F . ( 3 1 3 1 )

HINESBURG to BURLINGTON. a m lo o k in g fo r a rid e to th e U M a ll M - F , 9 :3 0 a .m . ( 3 0 4 0 )

GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON. I’ m lo o k in g to s h a re d r iv in g on a s m o k e -fr e e c o m m u te to w o rk . H o u r s are M - F , 9 to 6 , s o m e fle x (3 0 3 8 )

BURLINGTON to BRISTOL:

I am lo o k in g fo r a rid e to w o r k . M y h o u rs are 7 to 4 , M -F . ( 3 0 6 7 )

a m a s tu d e n t lo o k in g fo r a rid e to sc h o o l M - F , 8 to 4 . I rea lly n e e d a ride T O s c h o o l, I c o u ld arra n ge fo r a ride h o m e if n e c e s sary. ( 3 1 0 2 )

S p o r t , lu x u r y & e c o n o m y c a r s ,

BARRE to BURLINGTON. I a m a s tu d e n t lo o k in g fo r a rid e M ,W ,F , 8 a .m . F l e x , r e tu r n . ( 3 0 5 1 )

STOWE to ESSEX JCT.: I w o rk in th e O u t le t F a i r are a a n d a m lo o k in g fo r a r id e . M y s c h e d u le is ve ry fle x ib le a n d in c lu d e s w e e k ends. (3 0 7 7 )

JOHNSON to BURLINGTON: I

SEIZED CARS FROM $500.

UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON: I a m lo o k in g fo r a rid e to w o rk M F, 8 :3 0 to 5 . ( 3 0 5 5 )

rid e to w o r k , M - F , fo r a fe w m o n th s . M y h o u rs are 9 to 5 . (3 0 6 8 )

to s h a re d riv in g 4 d a y s /w k . M y h rs. are 8 :3 0 to 5 p .m . ( 3 1 2 6 )

U p c o m i n g s e iz u r e / s u r p lu s s a le s . S p o r t , lu x u r y & e c o n o m y c a r s . F o r c u r r e n t lis tin g s c a ll 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 1 1 - 5 0 4 8 e x t. 1 7 3 8 .

tr u c k s , 4 x 4 s , u tility a n d m o re . F o r c u r r e n t lis tin g s c a ll 1 - 8 0 0 3 1 1 - 5 0 4 8 e x t. 2 2 3 9 .

ESSEX JCTVBURL. to ST. ALBANS: I a m lo o k in g fo r

HUNTINGTON to IBM: I w o rk th e firs t s h ift a n d a m lo o k in g to c a tc h a ride to w o rk w ith s o m e o n e M -F . ( 3 1 4 0 )

8 6 4 - 1 2 1 8 or 3 7 3 - 1 8 2 4 .

BUY CARS! FROM $500.

Art H i s t o r y I n t e r n s h i p P o s i t i o n

REAL ESTATE OFFICE/ BUS./STUDIO SPACE

SO. BURLINGTON to MONTPE LIER: I a m lo o k in g to s h a re d ri

SO. BURLINGTON to IBM:

I am lo o k in g fo r a rid e to w o r k , I a m on th e 7 a .m . to 7 p .m . s h ift w ith r o ta tin g d a y s . ( 3 0 9 0 )

v in g w ith s o m e o n e . I w o rk M , T u , W , F , 8 :3 0 to 4 : 3 0 . I w o u ld be w illin g to m e e t a t th e R ic h m o n d P & R . (3 0 5 0 )

MILTON to COLCHESTER: I am

BURLINGTON to MONKTON: I

lo o k in g fo r a rid e to w o rk . I c o u ld m e e t a t th e C h im n e y C o rn e rs P a rk & R id e . M y h o u rs are 1 1 a .m . to 7 p .m ., T u e s .-S a t. w/ s o m e fle x ib ility . ( 3 0 9 5 )

a m lo o k in g fo r a rid e to w o rk fo r a fe w w e e k s . M y h o u rs are 7 : 3 0 to 4 :0 0 , M - F w ith s o m e fle x ib ili ty . ( 3 0 6 3 )

V e rm o n t^ 9 V

Rideshare ITRANSPORTATION

P S: I f you’re unable to give out curse instructions (because o f legal problems, I ’d presume), could you at least tell how to create a zombie? Easy, pal. Try doing my job for a week. As for the curse, sorry, but that’s one answer where I wind up either a fraud or a co-defendant. Zombies are another story. Although I don’t have a recipe, some claim we do know the active ingredient for a zombie cocktail that’ll take your breath away. But I have to warn you: The one account o f zombification we have by a Western scientist has been hody disputed. Proceed at your own risk. O ur source here is ethnobotanist Wade Davis. In 1982 he visited Haiti to see if he could learn the secret o f the “zombie powder” that local sor cerers, known as bokors, allegedly used to reani mate the dead. As told in his 1985 book, The Serpent an d the Rainbow (a scholarly version, Passage o f Darkness: The Ethnobiology o f the H aitian Zombie, appeared later), Davis had little to go on but s5me tantalizing stories and a few contacts. Nonetheless, during his first week in Haiti he managed to meet two alleged zombies who’d been patients at a local psychiatric insti tute. (One would become the subject o f a B B C documentary.) W hat’s more, with the aid o f a wad o f green backs he was able to witness the manufacture o f a batch o f zombie powder. In a chilling passage he tells o f a midnight trip to a graveyard where he watched a bokor and his assistants dig up the corpse o f a recently deceased infant, portions o f which — Davis is a bit vague on the details — were added to a witch’s brew o f plants, sea worm, toad, lizard and fish. As time went on Davis learned a bit about why zombies were created. Typically the victim had antagonized his family or neigh bors, who hired a bokor to do him in. T h e bokor would spread zombie powder on the threshold o f the home o f the victim, where he would absorb it through his feet. After falling into a deathlike

trance the victim would be buried, then later sum m oned from the grave by the bokor, who would exploit the zombie as a slave. During several trips to Haiti, Davis was able to collect eight samples o f powder. A number o f the ingredients had psychoactive properties, but the most important, he concluded, was a potent neurotoxin called tetrodotoxin, which was extracted from the puffer fish found in Haitian waters. The principal symptom o f tetrodotoxin poisoning is paralysis — often the victim remains conscious, but his breathing becomes so shallow as to be unde tectable and he appears lifeless. Davis claims some victims were thought dead but revived. Davis tells o f providing samples o f zombie powder to patholo gist Leon Roizin, who tested them on rats. Roizin told him the animals became completely immobilized and unresponsive, though heartbeat and brainwaves were still detectable. After 24 hours the rats recovered, apparently without lingering effects. Davis never actually saw the creation o f a zombie and concedes there is much about Haitian society he doesn’t understand. But one might conclude that tetrodotoxin was the drug used to create zombies. It ain’t necessarily so. D avis’ hypothesis has been bitterly dis puted by other scientists. Two experts on tetrodotoxin, C.Y. Kao and Takeshi Yasumoto, tested two o f his samples and found they contained only a m inute am ount o f it, too little to have any phar macological effect. They also condem ned Davis for his involve ment in grave robbing. According to an account o f the controver sy in the journal Science, Davis him self fed zom bie powder to rats without result, a fact not cited in his books. Roizin never repeated his experiments, published his results, or determined what was in the samples he was given. In the Science article he was quoted as saying he was “embarrassed.” If tetrodotoxin doesn’t produce zombies, what does? In 1997 two researchers told o f exam ining three alleged zombies and con cluded that “mistaken identification o f a wandering, mentally ill stranger by bereaved relatives is the m ost likely explanation.” I mean, we’ve all encountered our share o f glassy-eyed vegetables. But who’s to say whether the cause is exotic poisons or too much TV ? — C E C IL A D A M S

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 6 0 6 1 1 , or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

SEVEN DAYS

may 19, 1999 V s

I *' ’

- \

* v *

" r'

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3 ,V w *V

**r

iW :'m w

C la s s if ie d s

APT./HOUSE FOR RENT

• ■ n*

8 6 4 . 5 6 8 4 11

U k l l

I" #V I

fr o m th e s e c re t file s o f

pocket-size butterfly wing clippers

C C lH n O T 1

BURLINGTON:

Sunny, 3 b d r m ., p r im e l o c a t io n , h d w d . f i r s ., g a s h e a t , c o i n - o p la u n d r y , p o r c h , o f f - s t r e e t p a r k in g . O w n e r o c c . d u p le x . $ 9 7 5 / m o . + u tils . A v a il. 9 / 1 . 8 6 5 - 0 3 4 5 .

BURLINGTON: 2 - b d r m . a p t . w it h d i n i n g r o o m a n d p o r c h , o f f -s tr e e t p a r k i n g . $ 6 3 5 / m o . 8 6 2 -3 5 8 1. BURLINGTON: N o . W in o o s k i A v e ., 1 - b d r m ., 1 s t f i r ., q u i e t , n o n -s m o k e r . N o d o g s . P a r k i n g , h e a t e d , le a s e + r e f s . A v a i l . 6 /1. $ 450/m o. 8 6 2 -3 7 1 9 . BURLINGTON: 2 - b d r m . a p t ., C o lc h e s te r A v e ., $ 6 5 0 / m o . A l s o 2 - b d r m . a p t ., J o h n s o n S t . , $ 6 0 0 . A v a i l , i m m e d ia t e l y . C a ll 8 6 5 - 6 0 6 5 . BURLINGTON:

S tu d io & l b d r m . C l e a n , q u i e t b l d g ., p a r k in g , la u n d r y , c e n t r a l lo c a

t io n d o w n t o w n , w a lk e v e r y w h e r e . A v a il in J u n e . $ 4 8 5 $ 5 1 5 / m o . P a u l, 6 5 8 -9 9 4 8 .

LOOKING TO RENT/SHARE YOUNG WOMAN,

"HOUSEMATES WANTED HINESBURG:

L o o k i n g fo r 2

2 0 is h p e o p le t o s h a re 5 - b d r m . ' fa r m h o u s e o n 8 0 0 -a c r e fa r m . B ik in g a n d h ik in g , g a rd e n . F u n , r e c e n t g r a d s . P e ts O K . $ 3 0 0 / m o . + u til. 4 6 2 - 2 8 1 9 .

2 6 , v e g e t a r i

a n , n o n -s m o k e r, se e k s q u ie t

NEED HELP?

...w i t h r e s u m e s , p r o o f r e a d in g , g r e e tin g c a r d s , p o e tr y , w r it in g s k ills — a c a d e m ic , p r o fe s s io n a l, o r ju s t fo r fu n ? M i d d le m a n a g e m e n t , s t u d e n t s , n e e d a j u m p s ta rt? L e t m e b e y o u r m e n to r o r i m a g in a t io n in a c a l m , c o n fid e n t ia l s e t t i n g . C a ll S a n d i fo r a m y r ia d o f c u s t o m i z e d s e r v ic e s . 8 6 4 7 0 7 8 or 6 5 2 - 2 1 7 8 .

r o o m in f r i e n d l y , r e s p e c tf u l

HINESBURG:

h o u s e h o ld o f k in d r e d s p ir it s in

ra ry h o m e in p r i v a t e , w o o d e d s e t t i n g . $ 4 0 0 / m o ., in c l . u tils . A v a il. 6 / 1 . D o g s w e lc o m e . 4 8 2 -2 3 9 4 .

COMPUTER SERVICES

NO. FER RISBU RG :

EMAIL SECRETS!

or n ea r B u r lin g to n . L a u r a , 4 9 6 -7 6 7 3 .

PROF. COUPLE W/ 2 KIDS

1 b d rm . a p t . o n M o n k t o n / N o . F e r r is b u r g l i n e . $ 5 3 0 / m o . + d e p . C a ll N an cy, 4 2 5 -2 8 8 6 .

n e e d s s h o rt-te rm r e n ta l, 7 / 1 1 1 / 3 0 in M i d d le b u r y a r e a . W ill p a y t o ta l r e n t u p f r o n t . P le a s e c a ll c o l le c t , 9 7 3 - 7 8 3 - 6 3 8 6 .

RICHMOND:

F r ie n d ly , b rig h t, o ld h o u s e in v i l l a g e . L a u n d r y , exp o se d b e a m s . S h a re w/ 1 + d o g . N o s m o k e r s . S h o r t o r lo n g te rm . A v a il, n o w . $ 2 9 0 / m o , in c l. u tils . 4 3 4 - 3 4 9 2 .

QUIET, R ESPO N SIBLE GRAD s t u d e n t lo o k in g t o s h a re a p t . w / 1 - 3 p e o p le in B u r l i n g t o n . 8 6 5 -3 2 8 4 .

SPIRITUALLY MINDED, PARTt im e d a d s e e k s s h a r e d liv in g

SERVICES

s it u a t io n in e m o t i o n a l l y s t a b le h o u s e h o l d . C a ll C h r i s , 8 6 2 5 2 1 4 ( 6 a . m .- 2 p . m . , M - F ) .

B A SEBA LL, FOOTBALL,

BURLINGTON:

M u s ic ia n s ’ h o u s e h o ld s e e k s a p p l i c a n t s

CLEANING SERVICES

bas

T h e sky is f a l l i n g ...o h re a lly? C a ll D ia n e H . , h o u s e k e e p e r t o t h e s ta rs .

6 5 8 - 7 4 5 8 . “ S h e ’ ll f i x y o u r w a g o n a l r i g h t .” — F o x e y L o x e y

available for

CLASSICALLY TRAINED 20 YEARS EXPERIENCE EXTENSIVE PORTFOLIO Specializing in GmtemporaryAmerican/TradUkmal New England Cuisine featuring the finest in seasonal and regional delicacies

C h r is t o p h e r S l o a n e 8 9 9 -5 1 2 8

(Private instruction alsoavailable)

ORGANIC PRODUCE ORGANIC FARM IN BURLING TON’S I n te r v a le o f f e r s r e a s o n a b ly p r ic e d fa r m m e m b e r s h i p s . M e m b e r s r e c e iv e b a s k e t o f se as o n al p ro d u c e (s w e e t c o rn , to m a to e s , m e s c lu n , s tra w b e r r ie s , m o r e ) e a c h w e e k , fr o m J u n e — N o v e m b e r . D e liv e r y a v a il. I n f o : J o n a t h a n a t U r b a n R o o ts , 8 6 2 - 5 9 2 9 .

HOMEBREW

HOME & GARDEN A LIC E’S GARDEN:

MAKE GREAT B EER AT HOME Ja zz up

y o u r g a r d e n ! J u s t c a ll A l i c e f o r q u a l i t y p e r e n n ia l g a r d e n s e r v ic e s . 8 6 5 - 9 3 6 3 .

f o r o n ly 5 0 0 / b o t t l e . B r e w w h a t y o u w a n t w hen y o u w a n t! S t a r t - u p k it s & p r i z e - w i n n in g r e c ip e s . G i f t c e r t i f s . a re a g r e a t g ift. V T H o m e b re w S u p p ly , R t . 1 5 , W in o o s k i. 6 5 5 - 2 0 7 0 .

DATING

MOVING SALE

COMPATIBLES:

HOUSEHOLD GOODS, CLOTH ING, C D s , f u r n i t u r e , e x c e lle n t

S in g le s m e e t b y b e in g in t h e s a m e p la c e a s o t h e r s in g le s . W e ’v e m a d e t h i s t h e b e s t t im e t o c o n n e c t y o u . C a ll fo r d e t a i ls , 8 6 3 - 4 3 0 8 . w w w .c o m p a t i b l e s .c o m .

s te r e o s y s t e m , b o o k s , la m p s , b e d & s o f a . S a t . , 5 / 2 9 & S u n ., 5 / 3 0 , 1 1 a . m .- 3 p .m . 5 0 0 Ja c k s o n T e rra c e , A p t. 4 G .

N.E. SIN G LES CONNECTION: D a tin g a n d F rie n d s h ip N e tw o rk fo r r e la tio n s h ip m in d e d S i n g l e A d u l t s . P r o fe s s io n a l , I n t e l li g e n t , P e r s o n a l. L i f e t i m e m e m b e r s h ip . N e w s le tte r . F o r

BUY THIS STUFF

F R E E in fo , 1 - 8 0 0 - 7 7 5 - 3 0 9 0 .

SU PER COMFY LOVESEAT: b lu e / ta n / c r a n b e r r y / b r o w n p l a id .

TUTORING

G r e a t c o n d i t i o n . $ 7 5 o .b .o .

MATH, EN G LISH, WRITING,

8 6 2 -5 5 0 9 .

S c ie n c e , H u m a n itie s , P ro o f re a d in g , fro m e le m e n ta ry to g r a d u a t e le v e l. T e s t P r e p fo r G R E , L S A T , G M A T , S A T -I, S A T II, A C T , G E D , T O E F L ... M ic h a e l K r a e m e r , 8 6 2 - 4 0 4 2 .

ANTIQUE, 1920S BARBER

C o m e s w / 2 p i l l o w s ., H e a t h e r ,

c h a i r , m a r o o n , p o r c e la in w it h t a n l e a th e r , f u l l y o p e r a t i o n a l . M o v i n g , m u s t s e l l . $ 5 0 0 o .b .o . 6 5 2 -0 0 0 8 .

tio n , g u tte r a n d w in d o w c le a n in g . 1 - 8 0 0 - 6 7 9 - 2 0 1 6 .

m a t e in liv e ly , a r t is t ic h o m e b e tw e e n B u r l , a n d M i d d le b u r y .

4 5 3 -3 6 1 2 .

M u s t be 1 8 + . S e rv -U ( 6 1 9 ) 6 4 5 -8 4 3 4 .

P er so n a l C h ef Private Elegant Dinner Parties

HOUSE PAINTING, ROOF REPAIR, s la te ro o f r e c o n s t r u c

R o o m fo r h o u s e

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Le a rn how t o m a il 1 0 0 s o f p e o p le a t t h e s a m e t im e ! P l u s d o z e n s o f m o r e h o t t ip s ! 1 - 9 0 0 - 7 4 8 1 1 1 3 e x t .6 8 6 3 . $ 2 .9 9 / m i n .

TH E SKY IS FALLING!

k e t b a l l , h o c k e y s c o re s / s p re a d s N O W !!! 1 -9 0 0 -4 2 0 -2 3 0 0 e x t . 4 1 7 9 . $ 2 .9 9 / m i n . M u s t b e 1 8 + S e rv -U ( 6 1 9 ) 6 4 5 - 8 4 3 4 .

HOUSEMATES WANTED BRISTOL:

N ic e c o n te m p o

PERSONAL CHEFS

m ip e h t iT

c r is is "

TMlS MASKEP MAN WAS ABLE To PROFIT FROM TME ORIGINAL'S G o o P REPUTATION.

ME U K E P FEELlNG ANoNYWoUS. IN FACT, No ONE KNEW FOR SURE WMo ME WAS.

went OUT WITHOUT WEARING A MA5 K.

m u s ic a lly o r a r t is t ic ly i n c l i n e d . N e a t , r e s p o n s ib le in d i v i d u a l to sh a re 4 - b d r m . h o u s e o n S p e a r S t . $ 3 0 0 / m o . + 1 /4 u tils . 8 6 4 0 8 7 3 , le a v e m e s s a g e .

BURLINGTON:

P r o f, fo r 2 b d r m . d u p l e x , Ig . y a r d , f u l l y fu r n is h e d , p a r k in g , h a v e 2 c a ts . L o o k in g fo r s o m e o n e w h o n e e d s t o s t a y o n l y a f e w n ig h ts a w e e k . $ 2 2 5 / m o . + lo w u t i l s . 8 6 5 -3 76 5 .

BURLINGTON:

L A Y ® W A Y L A y .C O M

IN ORPER To ROUT TME IMP o S T o r ME MAP To G o ENTIRELY UNPERCoVER — No MASK.

ME P iP N T MEAN To M AKE A SCENE WMEN ME FoUNP t m e b o g u s m a s k e r ...

BUT SUPPENLY EVERYONE KNEW MIM AS TME MAN WMo UNMASKEP MASK GUY

Q u ie t, re s p o n

s ib le M / F w a n t e d fo r 3 - b d r m . a p t . $ 2 3 0 / m o ., i n c l . h e a t + h o t w a te r . C a ts O K . V e r y c lo s e to d o w n to w n , p a r k in g . A v a il. 6 /1. 8 6 0 -7 1 1 6 .

CHARLOTTE: A c t i v e , n o n s m o k in g p r o f , w i t h o u t p e ts to sh a re u n iq u e a p t. w / s p e c ta c u la r v i e w s . M a n y a m e n i t ie s . A v a i l 6 / 1 / $ 4 0 0 / m o . + 1 / 2 lo w u tils . 4 2 5 - 4 5 5 7 .

CO LCH ESTER:

M o m o f 5 - y r .-

o ld o f f e r s s m a ll r o o m & f i n is h e d b a s e m e n t , g a r a g e , 1 . 5 b a t h , la u n d r y . $ 3 5 0 / m o ., i n c l .

i ANP ME CoULPN'T G o BACK To WEARING MASKS BECAUSE TMEN TMEY'P ALL KNoW TMAT ME WAS TME REAL MASK GUY

u t i l s . & o t h e r a m e n i t ie s . C a rrie , 6 5 8 - 9 8 0 7 o r 8 7 8 - 1 2 9 7 ( e v e .) .

E. CHARLOTTE:

M a t u r e , in te r

RIGMT ABOUT TMEN ME PEClPEP To PUT ON WEiGMT ANP GROW A BEARP.

e s tin g p e r s o n t o s h a r e Ig . c o u n try h o m e w / c o u p le . S w im m in g p o n d , g a r d e n , w a lk

iVys IN k INM.1

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a d u lt g r o u p s . S t a r t i n g in M a y . $ 1 5 / c l a s s . T a u g h t b y C a r o le M u r p h y , f i g u r i t i v e s c u lp t o r , 8 6 3 -3 4 2 5 .

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g r a d e p u r e e s s e n tia l o ils . A s k a b o u t b u l k p r ic in g . 1 7 4 B a tt e r y S t . , B u r l . 8 6 2 - 4 4 2 1 .

MUSIC INSTRUCTION

1i l l C S S

S t o r e h o u r s : M o n .- S a t ., 1 0 - 6 .

W e s p e c ia liz e in f i n e c u s to m b l e n d in g f o r y o u r a r o m a th e r a p y , b e a u ty a n d b o d y c a r e n e e d s . C a r r ie r o ils a n d s u p p lie s a v a ila b le . W e s to c k o v e r 1 0 0 t h e r a p e u t i c -

A l l s ty le s / le v e ls . E m p h a s i s o n d e v e l o p i n g s tr o n g t e c h n iq u e , th o ro u g h m u s ic ia n s h i p , p e r s o n a l s t y le . P a u l A s b e ll (U n k n o w n B lu e s R e v u e , K ilim a n ja r o , S k la r -G r ip p o , e t c .) . 8 6 2 - 7 6 9 6 .

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Mav 20-26 A R IES

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): I can wash a window, cook an omelette, change a tire, plant a tree and inter pret a dream faster than anyone alive. I can change a diaper while doing wheelies on a skateboard, write a great pop song as I stuff envelopes to save the rainforest and whittle a giraffe out o f a wine cork while sim u lating a m ating dance with a flamin go. Yet as fleet and agile as I am, and despite the fact that I consider myself the world’s champion at being able to be five places at one time, I fear there’s a distinct possibility you could snag my title away from me. T h at’s how versatile a virtuoso you’ll be in the com ing weeks.

TA U R U S

(Apr. 20-M ay 20): At the risk o f losing their substantial karmic credit, my Prayer Warriors are now imploring G od to help you win a lottery or magazine contest or bingo game. As you know, the Divine One frowns upon people who beg for money, and has even been known to wreak revenge against such greedheads by boycotting all their further prayers. So I hope you appreciate the big chance the Prayer Warriors are taking for you. Ju st kidding, Taurus! The only G od that would act with such petty motives is the fake one that the atheists rightfully deny. My G od gazes sympathetically at every request, no matter how small, and will certainly consider the Prayer Warriors’ petitions to make you rich-

GEM INI

(M ay 21-June 20): Any minute now, Gem ini, I bet you’ll lose the two tons o f emotional bag gage you’ve been dragging along; you’ll shift from lead-footed plodding to giddy sauntering. To what do you owe this sudden turnaround? M ost likely it’s just plain boredom. I believe that your sub-personality #13, The Nasty Little Self-Sabotaging Pest, has grown weary o f torturing all your other sub-personalities, and will just go o ff and veg out for a while. With

ACROSS 1 Write Hke a doctor? 7 Gem State capital 12 Actor Richard 16-Alice’ spin-off 19 Sheik spot 20 Wing 21 Racer Luyendyk 22 Prune 23 Hockey rink feature 25 Stein or Ederte 27 Arrange type 26-Yo!" 29 Sans ambition 31 Photog raphy fluid 32 Exploded 34 Navy builder 37 Tenor Roberto •38 Thin covering 41 Swordfish kin *2 Absquatu* iated 43 Simpson of fashion 44 Sits in at school 48 Korf or Sara 49 Like hen's teeth? « Possesses

53 Inc., in England 55 Sampras or Seeger 57 Nobelist Wiesei 56 Proofreader's mark 61 Cowboy's critter 63 La Scala’s locale 65 Wise guy? 66 “__Irish Rose" 67 Sherlock Holmes' specialty 73 Sing like a soprano 74 Pub orders 75 Din 76 Hospital employees 77 Storage site 79 Expected back 80 Gulf, Isthmus, or Canal 84 Mrs. A! Bundy 65 Hole 86 Grand instruments? 86 Nutritional abbr. 89 Envelope information 95 Wedding «. gown feature

that jerk out o f the way, it’s quite pos sible that your sub-personality #5, The Buoyant Self-Reinventing Genius, will rise to the top and run the show for a while.

C A N C ER

(June 21-July 22): The Cult o f Science bears a relation to modern culture that resembles the Catholic Church’s stranglehold on the medieval imagination. Fortunately, those o f us in the business o f debunk ing fanatical materialists can often find rich fodder for our arguments in the paranormal lives o f you Cancerians. This week, for instance, you’ll have almost daily appointments with telepathic jiggles, fresh hot omens and lightning from the other side o f the veil. Wise snakes will sneak up on you in reveries and dreams, and ghosts from both the past and future may seek to negotiate new contracts. (They won’t scare you if you don’t scare them.) All in all, my fellow Crabs, you’ll be hair-raising proof that the invisible realms have very concrete effects on this world.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): It almost doesn’t matter how good you are or how hard you’ve worked to refine your talent or product. Everything comes down to a matter o f who has the best packaging, the glitziest gim mick. It’s a shame. In an ideal world, you’d already have the position and rank that match your skills. But the exasperating truth is that you’ve got to devote as much intelligence to sell ing yourself as you did to perfecting your work in the first place. Fortunately, the cosmos has finally decided to conspire mightily in your behalf to accomplish just that.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Am azon.com founder Je ff Bezos told Wired magazine that while looking

97 Couturier Cassini 98 Baltimore bird 99 Vassal’s obligation 100 Help with the cost 103 A Lennon sister 104 Drac's wrap 105 Ryan of "Barry Lyndon106 Turandor baritone 107 Speck 108 Quiche ingredient 111 Tony winner Colleen 113 Rolling Stones documentary 119 Doolittle's digs 120 Have to 121 French health resort 122 Journalist Faliaci 123 LIAR member, once 124 Word form for -within’ 125 “Bat Masterson" prop 126 Soda-shop order DOWN

1 Weakens 2 Manitoba native 3 Be bombastic 4 Atty.'s org. 5 Shnner or Wheaton 6 Foam 7 Lap warmer? 8-WHd " ('60 hit) 9-Newharf setting 10 Wine word 11 Display 12 Scout rank 13 Earl _ (tea choice) 14 Word on a pump 16 Irritates 16 Cast 17 Shade of green 18 ’Tommy" or Tannhauser24 Evergreen bee 26 Highways 30 Bears'fairs 32 canto 33 Dregs 34 Torteilini topping 35 Mahler's •Das Lied vender ’ 36 Clay, today 37 -Oh, woe!“ 38 Shoe part 39 Actress Sedgwick

for a wife, he put a high premium on resourcefulness. “I wanted a woman who could get me out o f a Third World prison,” he said. Maybe you’ve never imagined you fit that descrip tion, Virgo, but I have. Lately you’ve begun to show an aptitude for dig ging up unexpected magic in the nick o f time, and I believe this skill will continue to grow. Springing a scruffy N orth American from a Moroccan jail? N o problem for the likes o f you. Getting-high school students to read books by N oam Chomsky, or coaxing Calvin Klein to use 300-pound beau ties in his underwear ads, or getting a friend to hear a truth she’s been utter ly closed to before? These are just a few o f the amazing feats you’re capa ble of.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When you plan your two important conversations this week, remember how crucial the setting is. A burger, fries and a shake in a cramped booth at M cD onald’s won’t yield the same rich heart-to-heart exchanges as will a clean table in a sanctuary with a spa cious view. Likewise, Libra, when you plan your two new investments this week, devote the same thorough research to your spiritual venture that you do to the transaction that will affect your pocketbook.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It’s been 12 years since I made peace with my evil twin, by which I mean the shadowy side o f my own pgrch#. U p qnriJhtbesi, < ^ s h a £ b e e n a tempestuous relationship. I’d relent lessly tried to suppress all his negative feelings, and in turn he’d ensnared me in a series o f affairs with women who were no damn good for me. Finally, I initiated a truce. I promised him I’d at least listen to his bitches and moans, and he agreed to stop maneu

40 Trim 83 Off-the-wall 41 Yacht spot 85 Baritone 42 Insipid Hermann 4 5 -Evils86 Unskilled character worker 46 __ Marbles 87 Dance maneuver 47 Pigpens 90 Hebrew tax' 50 Room without a 91 Poe poem view? 92 Exhaust 51 J a i_ 93 Moved tike 5 4 __Plaines, molasses 9 4 __Tin Tin IL 56 Zola or 96 Dawn Durkheim Chong 58 Future 99 Compre* officer hend 100 Extinct bird: 59 Gets better? 101 Foe 60 Florid 102 Less 61 Platform 103 "Same here!" 62 Some woodwinds 104 __ Cob, CT 64 Evils 65 WWII site 106 Classroom 87 Prickly plant sound 107 Say it isn't 68 Hogback 69 Short so 106 Coup (T__ snooze 109 Singer 70 Disquiet Pitney 71 Didi of 110 Alum "Benson’ 72 Mozart's *La 112 Kennel feature Ciemerua 114 * _ been d i__’ had!" 73 Faucet 115 Russian 77 Mar space 78 LAX letters station 79 Cotton 116 Fairy thread queen 81 Orenburg's river 117 Geologic division 82 Correct a 1 1 8 Abnertext

vering me into messy, boring com pli cations. Ever since then, his “evil” has steadily evolved into an acidic but am using acumen I’ve come to value. N ow I regard him as my right-hand man, my trusted advisor. And what does this have to do with you, Scorpio? I believe it’s prime time for you to learn to collaborate better with your own evil twin.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I bet you’ll make a new connection because o f this column, Sagittarius. Maybe a stranger is sneak ing a peek over your shoulder as you read this right now. (Why don’t you introduce yourself?) O r maybe a Very Intriguing Person will be eavesdrop ping as you and a comrade discuss the meaning o f my oracles. I also sus pect that one o f your relationships will have a near meltdown that could, with the help o f “Real Astrology,” dis solve the fears that have prevented greater intimacy. Use me as a match maker, a mediator, a secret friend.

for the Wright brothers to empt what many scientists d was impossible? Was it liatural” for Walt Disney to Inake a talking mouse into an international role model? Is it “natur al” for me to try to impart pristine wisdom through the m edium o f the astrology column, a genre ridiculed by many smart people? T h e psycholo gist C .G . Ju n g implied that every act o f genius m ust work against the grain. I dare you to prove him right.

PISC ES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Sometimes, Pisces, you seem like an unimaginably old soul who has out lived all her contemporaries. Your hard-earned wisdom, as ripe and rich as it is, is like a living fossil in our use-it-once-and-throw-it- away cul ture. W hat good is it being as deep as you are if no one else has the courage or patience to gaze more than a few inches below the surface? H aving said all those discouraging words, though, I want to let you know that condi tions will soon be shifting. D uring the upcom ing grace period, almost every one o f your gifts will be appre ciated, and much o f your beauty per ceived. ®

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): Close out time! Dirt-cheap bargains on amour*. Get ’em while they last! Final week o f the special introductory offer on all fun and games! Last call for drinks from the fountain o f youth! D on’t delay! This is the last time this spring you’ll find discounts like this on Love Tricks, Sex Tips and Kamikaze Romance! Sale prices limited to stock on hand. Free “ Use It or Lose It” bum per sticker with every purchase. Sorry, no dealers. N o rain checks. O ffer may vary at some locations.

A Q U AR IU S

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Just because it’s not in the “nat ural” scheme o f things doesn’t mean it’s unfriendly, perverted or unbank able. On the contrary. Was it “natur-

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The Personals are incredibly popular. Over 3 ,0 00 peo

People who try th e Personals are alm ost always satis

pie have placed one. Even more call th e Personals.

tied - i f n o t thrille d! Oust like anyw here, there is a

The average age is 3 1 , and m ost have college

small percentage o f folks w ho y o u w o u ld n 't w a n t to

degrees. In general they're ju s t N IC E FO LK S looking to m eet each other.

m eet. B u t yo u can usually te ll ju s t b y listening to Y O U 'R E IN C O N T R O L. Your nam e and phone num ber are kept com pletely private u n til yo u decide to give them o u t. It's a lo t safer th a n m eeting som eone in a

I AN AD? I

You call a 1-9 0 0 # and hear an easy to use phone

tree which explains how to leave a message. You can

also browse and listen to ads in yo u r category o f choice. I t costs $ 1.9 9 /m in u te . We pride ourselves on

b a r . . . B E CH O OSY. ^ j

Y E S ! We have a folder fu ll o f folks w ho have w ritte n

is EA S Y TO U S E and doesn't keep yo u on

SEVEN

0 1

in t o th a n k us. Y O U C O U LD B E N E X T . '

M M N lf

page 4 0

/ longer th a n is necessary.

HAS ANYONE MET THEIR SPOUSE/LIFE PARTNER THROUGH SEVEN DAYS?

DAYS

may 19, 1999

• •

:■ • -

-■

;

. . .

:£ w - : r v

#Jvc

•

to respond to a personal ad call 1 - Q 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 we’re open 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be 18+. WANTED: MEN TO FILL POSITIONS

of e s c o r t, h e n c h m a n , g u r u , b o d y g u a r d , a e r o b ic in s tr u c to r , s q u ir e , y e o m a n a n d t h e lik e s b y 2 d o w n -t o -e a r t h , life -lo v in g , p r o fe s s io n a l w o m e n . C a ll fo r a p p lic a tio n & c o m p e n s a tio n p a c k a g e . 2 9 7 8

euffi

healthy, non-abusive relatioi ’ “ lifestyle, selfPERSON TO PER SON . “

SWPF, 5'2", ATTRACTIVE, LONG

personal abbreviations

* rCr*

b ro w n h a ir, b l. e y e s , s le n d e r . L ik e s to tr y ju s t a b o u t a n y t h in g o n c e . I S O S W P M , 2 5 3 5 , s e n s e o f h u m o r , d a r in g & f u n . 2 9 8 1

A-?'*

A=Asian, B=Black, Bi = Bisexual, C=Christian, CU=Couple, D=Divorced, F=Female, G=Gay, H=Hispanic, ISO=ln Search Of, J=Jewish, LTR=Long-Term Relationship M=Male, Ma=Married, ND=No Drugs, NS=Non-Smoking, NA=No Al cohol, P=Professional, S=Single, W=White, Wi=Widowed, ; YO=Years Old

„

Call _

1 -8 0 0 - 7 1 0 -8 7 2 7 to charge directly to your credit card $i.99/minute. must be 18

Or Call 1 - 900 - 3 7 0 -7 12 7 Si-99/minute. must be 18+

WARM-HEARTED, ATTRACTIVE DWF, 44, c r e a tiv e , w h im s ic a l, c u ri

3006________________________________ DPWF, OPEN-HEARTED EDUCATOR &

2231________________________________

m o m re s p e c ts in d e p e n d e n t in te re s ts & lo v e s to la u g h . L i v e m y fa ith w / g ra c e & g r a tit u d e . I S O k in d h e a r t, 4 5 + w h o k n o w s h o w t o s a il s t e a d y c o u r s e . 3010 a t t r a c t iv e , f i t , t r ia th le te , b o l n d , b lu e g re e n e y e s , I S O in te llig e n t , a th le tic P M , 2 5 -4 5 . C a ll t o b ik e t h r o u g h F ra n c e w h ile e n jo y in g a fin e B u r g u n d y . 30 19

HOMEBODY WHO LIKES TO GO OUT I S O s o m e o n e t o s h a re f o o d , la u g h te r , c o n v e r s a t i o n , n a t u r e , m u s ic & m o v ie s w i t h . D P F , 4 4 , I S O a M , 3 8 - 5 0 . 30 23 EASILY AMUSED, CHARMING, INDEPEN DENT, w e ll-e d u c a t e d S P F , 4 2 , in to g a r

ASPRING SUNFLOWER NEEDS WATER ING. If y o u h a v e t h e w a te r , y o u ca n w a tc h m e g r o w . W o u ld lik e t o fin d a c a re g iv e r. 3 1 , s w e e t a n d g e n e r o u s . G o o d - n a t u r e d . 30 83____________________

SWF, 27, HEAVYSET AND ATTRACTIVE,

BRILLIANT, GORGEOUS & TALENTED. O u t d o o r e n d u r a n c e a t h le t e , w r ite r , n a t u r e -lo v in g , s p ir itu a l S W F , 3 0 S , s e e k s life m a te (n o p r e s s u r e !). B e in te re s tin g , b a la n c e d , f u n , k in d - h e a r t e d . In te g rity ? O p tim is m ? C o m p a s s io n ? G o o d s tu ff!

o u s , h a p p y in th e u n iv e r s e , s e e k s s a m e in a S M , N S , 4 0 -5 0 , to e x p lo r e w a t e r w a y s , b o o k s t o r e s , s ta rr y n ig h ts .

HIGH-ENERGY, GAP-CLIMBING DWF, 39,

Aockmq men

HELLO? ARE YOU OUT THERE? S W P F , 3 0 , a c tiv e , v iv a c io u s , e n jo y s life , a ttr a c tiv e , s e lf- c o n fid e n t , n o k id s ( m a y b e s o m e d a y ) , I S O S W P M , 30 -4 0 , h o n e s t, c u te , h u m o r o u s , a c tiv e , n o n -s lim , o u t d o o r s y , b u t s h a r p d re s s e r. P o s s . L T R , frie n d s firs t. 2 9 8 6 __________________________

d e n i n g , a r ts , b ik in g , h i k i n g , s k iin g , re la x in g & e n jo y in g c u ltu ra l life o f B u r lin g to n , s e e k in g w e ll- a d ju s t e d , fu n S P M , 3 5 -4 7 , fo r m u tu a lly s u p p o r t iv e L T R . N S , N D , N A , p le a s e . 3 0 2 7 _________

SHIP'S CAPTAIN SEEKS 1ST MATE, 283 8 , t o c a p tu r e P is c e a n m e r m a id ’s h e a r t. M u s t b e a t h le t ic , p a tie n t , in te llig e n t a n d w illin g to s a il in to r o m a n tic a d v e n tu r e s . 3 0 29

lo o k in g fo r a w a l k i n g , t a l k i n g , t h i n k i n g , fe e lin g , lo v in g , b ig c u d d ly b e a r. 3 0 6 6

DPF, 27, ISO INTELLIGENT, MOTIVATED, a ttr a c tiv e & fu n M w h o d o e s n ’ t a n s w e r p e r s o n a l a d s a n d is n o t d e s p e r a te fo r io v e o r h a b itu a lly w r itin g p o e t r y a b o u t s u n s e ts & b e a c h w a lk s . 2 9 9 2 __________

FAIRY-TALE ROMANCE SOUGHT BY a t t r a c t iv e , a d v e n t u r o u s D W P F , 3 3 . P r e fe r -a ttr a c tiv e S / D W P M , 3 0 -4 0 , in d e p e n d e n t & s e c u r e . A s p ir in g p rin c e s m u s t b e e m o t io n a lly a v a ila b le , p la y fu l a n d p a s s io n a te a b o u t life , lo v e & a d v e n t u r e . 299 6 ________________________

DWPF, 48, SEEKS PM, NS.

M u s t live life w / h u m o r a n d e n t h u s ia s m . C o m fo r t a b le w / b lu e je a n s o r b la c k t ie , A l ’s o r C a fe S h e lb u r n e , M o t o w n o r M o z a r t . T o ce leb r a te life , c re a te m e m o r ie s . 2 9 9 7 _______

ME: SWBiF. YOU: SBM, 18-23,

fo r g o o d fo o d a n d la u g h s . L e t ’s s e e T ita n ic fo r th e 10 0 th tim e a n d cry. I w o n ’ t te ll if y o u w o n ’ t . C o u ld y o u b e m y Jack? 3000

STRIKING BLOND, PETITE PF, 5'3", 115 l b s ., in to fitn e s s , h ik in g , b i k in g , s a ilin g , d a n c in g , t r a v e lin g , c u ltu ra l e v e n ts , s p e c t a to r s p o r t s , m o r e . I S O P S M , f in a n c ia lly s e c u r e , s im ila r in te re s ts , 4 5 - 5 5 , fo r fu n a lo n g life ’s lo n g jo u r n e y . 2 9 3 9

a g e d ? S W P F , 3 0 , w it h k i d s , ca r, h o u s e , j o b , b r a in , s e e k in g t h e a lm o s t p e rfe c t m a n . W o w m e w / y o u r re s p o n s e . 2956

IN S TA N T ACCESS

a l, p r o fe s s io n a l g ra d s t u d e n t m o m w ith o n e s c h o o l-a g e c h ild s e e k s a M , 3 0 - 4 3 , w / a h e a lth y m in d & b o d y fo r g o o d c o n v e r s a t io n , f r ie n d s h ip & d a t i n g . 3 0 9 6

With Instant Access you can respond to Person <To> Person ads 24hrs. a day, J seven days a week from any touch tone phone including pay phones and phones w/ 900 blocks.

SEARCHING FOR JACK RUSSELL

A t h le tic w o m a n ( g o lfin g , t e n n i s , p o l o ...) w / s e n s e o f h u m o r s e e k s m a tu r e m a n , 3 0 4 5 , to m a k e h e r la u g h & e n jo y w h a t e v er k in d o f r e la tio n s h ip c o m e s a lo n g .

i______________________________ BROWN-EYED BEAUTY. D P F , l o v i n g ,

in tu itiv e , s p ir it u a l, in te llig e n t , a rtis tic , p a s s io n a t e , c e n t e r e d , lo v e o u t d o o r s , a rts , V P R , m e d i t a t i o n , s a ilin g , e n g a g in g c o n v e r s a tio n . Y o u : 4 5 -6 0 , e d u c a t e d , c o m m u n ic a tiv e , s p o n t a n e o u s , s e n s u a l, s e c u re , g e n t le , lo v e r o f t h e e a rth a n d liv in g . 30 98__________________ ~ _________

LETS ENJOY THE SUNSHINE. SWF, NS, 3 2 , 5 ’ i ” , w o u ld lik e t o m e e t a S W M , N S , 3 1 - 3 8 , w h o is s e n s it iv e a n d w o u ld lik e t o d e v e lo p fr ie n d s h ip & s h a re e x p e r ie n c e s . 2 9 3 0 ___________________'

MY FRIENDS AND I ARE ISO PARTNERS in crim e w h o e n jo y b e in g d a z e d & c o n fu s e d in th e a ft e r n o o n s w h ile b a k in g a t 4 : 20 . 2882______________________________

ISO WORKOUT. AN ACCELERATED h e a r t ra te fro m k is s in g t h a t g lis t e n s , w e lle a r n e d s w e a t fro m lo v e w h o li s t e n s ... S p o t m e if y o u a re o f th e l ig h t, b e a u tif u l, in to d e lib e r a te n e s s . 2885___________ INCORRIGIBLE, 46, VOLUPTUOUS DF,

LIFE’S SHORT. MAKE TIME TO DO IT A LL In te re s te d in m e e t in g 5 0 -s o m e t h in g g u y w h o a p p r o a c h e s w o r k a n d life w it h h u m o r, e n th u s ia s m a n d in te g rity . E n jo y w o rk in g o u t , h ik in g , I P S C . 3 0 4 1________

ou s, p h y s ic a lly / m e n ta lly h e a lth y , N S , E n jo y s w a l k i n g , g a r d e n i n g , c o o k n g , m a s s a g e , la u g h te r , t a l k i n g , d a n c n g , s h a r in g in tim a c y , t r y in g n e w h in g s . S e e k s s im ila r m a le . 3 0 5 2 _______

ND.

SWF, 45, 5’2", CUTE, FUN, 2 TEENAGE , )o y s , W a its fie ld a r e a , s e e k s S W M , 3 5 - f \7, fo r p o s s ib le L T R . I e n j o y a r t , m u s ic , Ja n c in g , r e a d in g , m o v i e s , d in in g a n d e la x a tio n . In te r e s te d ? C a ll m e . 3 0 5 5

'VE PADDLED MY OWN CANOE, BUT TO hare s till w a te r s , m o u n t a i n s , m u s ic ind la u g h te r w it h a fin e m a n w o u l d b e b lis s . L iv e ly , b r e a d - b a k in g D P F , N S , *I b eeks m a tu r e , 4 5 + , s o u lm a t e . 30 02

RESPONSIBLE FREE SPIRIT. DPWF, I a p p y , g r a te fu l, c r e a t iv e , N S , s e e k s g e n tle m a n , 4 5 + , w it h o l d -w o r ld c h a r m , I 'h o lo v e s t o la u g h . 3 0 0 5

WHO SAYS BLONDS HAVE ALL THE FUN? S W P F I S O b a s e b a ll- lo v in g , s u n s e t w a tc h in g d in n e r d a te . If y o u ’ re a S W P M , r e a d y fo r a s le n d e r b r u n e t te , 4 3 , full o f f u n , le t’s ta lk ! 2 9 6 9 __________

ME: SWEET 81 SARCASTIC; TOFU

& ta t e r t o t s ; Y o g a Jo u rn a l & P e o p le ; fo re ig n film s & F l in t s t o n e s ; re a d y fo r a p a r tn e r , a m b iv a le n t a b o u t t h e p ro c e s s . Y o u : 3 2 4 0 , N S , c u r io u s , a w a r e , h o n e s t. 2 9 7 2

TENDER-LOVING WOMAN SEEKS A MAN w / a h e a rt o f g o ld . F i t , a t t r a c t iv e , e n e r g e tic D W P F , 4 2 , n o k id s , lik e s a r t , • m u s ic , d a n c in g , a n im a ls , p la n ts a n d m a y b e y o u ? N o r t h C trl. V T . 2 9 7 0

2 FUN, ATHLETIC, FREE-SPIRITED, BUT r e s p o n s ib ly s e lf-s u ffic ie n t, p ro fe s s io n a l w o m e n s e e k c o m p a t ib le (re a d : a d m i r a b l e , lik e a b le , p r in c ip le d , h o n e s t , e tc .) m e n fo r d a t i n g , f r ie n d s h ip , p o s s i b le L T R . 2 9 7 7

LOVELY, CHARMING, TENDER-HEARTED, p a s s io n a t e a n d s p ir itu a l w o m a n d e s ire s a d e e p -le a r n in g fr ie n d s h ip w it h a g o o d m a n , 3 0 S -5 0 S . E n jo y s la u g h te r , m u s ic , d a n c in g , r e a d in g , r a c q u e t b a ll, s a ilin g , a u c tio n s , c o o k in g , g o o d w in e s & , m o s t im p o r t a n tly , s t im u la t in g & c h a lle n g in g c o n v e r s a t io n . 2 9 4 7 _____________________

ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE WOMAN ISO

best fr ie n d / lo v e r to e n jo y life ’s v a r ie d fla v o r s . A r e y o u in te re s te d in m e e tin g a D W P F , 4 6 , w h o is a c tiv e ly e x p lo r in g all th a t life o ffe rs ? 2 9 5 3 ______ _____________

SLENDER, SOULFUL, RADIANT SWPF, 4 0 , w ith a p a s s io n fo r th e n a tu r a l w o r ld a n d a c tiv e o u t d o o r p u r s u its . S e e k in g s lim / a th le tic , a c tiv e , in te llig e n t, e a r th y S / D P M , 3 5 - 5 0 , w ith s p a r k le , w it an d w a rm th . 2954

I’ve just broken up with my boyfriend and truly want to remain

INDEPENDENT FEMALE ADVENTURER,

— as usual — and I

s k ie r, c lim b e r , h o r s e w o m a n . I lik e t o p la y o u t s id e 81 h a te th e city. L o o k i n g fo r s o m e o n e to p la y w i t h ; tire d o f g o in g s o l o . 2 8 7 3

SWF, 31, DARK HAIR/EYES, PETITE, d o w n - t o - e a r t h , e n jo y s q u ie t e v e n in g s a t h o m e , o u t d o o r s , o c c a s io n a l n ig h ts o u t . I S O L T R w / s e n s itiv e g u y , 3 0 s , ca res a b o u t h im s e lf & o t h e r s , d o e s n ’ t n e e d t o im p r e s s m e . 2880

friends, but he’s retreating into his shell can’t get him to "process” the end of cur long relationship. I want to do this in a lov ing and respectful way, but his clam behavior is

AQokinq women s ta rs w it h m e . G o o d - lo o k i n g D W M , 5 ’ i o ” , 16 5 l b s ., b lu e e y e s , 4 0 + . W a t e r f r o n t, d i n i n g , d a n c in g , V S O . 10 m in s , o v e r c o ffe e c o u ld c h a n g e o u r liv e s . S tr a n g e g a la x y , isn ’ t it, P rin c e s s Le ia ? 30 6 3 _____________________________

really off-putting. In fact, this is one of the reasons I left.

C an

you

think of a way I can persuade him to talk?

DOWN-TO-EARTH SINGLE DAD, 41,

Rope’s Cnd in Randolph

e n jo y s b e in g o u t d o o r s , g o lf , b o a t i n g , c a m p in g a n d q u ie t tim e s a t h o m e . I S O i n d e p e n d e n t , p r o fe s s io n a l w o m a n w h o is k i n d , c a rin g a n d fu n t o b e w i t h .

Dear Rope,

CAGED & NEGLECTED, MID-30S MaWM,

PETITE, ACTIVE, 50ISH DWF, ATTRAC TIVE, F it, in te llig e n t , h a p p y , a d v e n t u r

Dear Lola,

N S , w h o k n o w s h e r b o d y , m in d & s p ir it c o n n e c te d n e s s . E n jo y s o u t d o o r s , f o r e ig n film s . I S O N S , 4 0 + , w / in tim a te s e lf-a w a r e n e s s , h o n e s ty , a d v e n t u r o u s tr a v e le r . C o u c h p o t a t o e s n e e d n o t a p p ly . 2 9 0 3 __________________________

re a lly k n o w s w h a t t o d o , s o m e o n e s t r o n g a n d s u p p o r t i v e ... G o o d - l o o k i n g , in -s h a p e S W P M s e e k s s im ila r w o m a n , 2 5 - 3 6 , fo r o u t d o o r s / in d o o r s . 3 0 6 5

Sim ply call 800-710-872:/* When prompted, e n t e ^ o ^ CTiedicard 1 #. Use the s e rv & s ^ ^ i's lo n g as you like. W ^ r y o u hang up, your credit card will be directly billed $Ji$feDer min.

fU e lV )

fo r c a m p in g , h ik in g a n d t im e s . M u s t b e N S , m o d e r a n d lo v e a n im a ls . L e t ’s t a l k . 2 9 2 2 _____________

IF YOU WERE TO WANT A GUY WHO

800/ 710-8727

O O W

DWF, 45, 5’4", 150 LBS., LOOKING FOR c o m p a n io n g e n e r a l fu n a te d r in k e r In te re s te d ?

3064________________________________ in SEVEN DAYS

love .

PETITE, 50, WWiF W/TEENS. R e a d e r , n a tu r e lo v e r , s o m e tim e s s illy , lo o k in g fo r d e v o u t , fin a n c ia lly s e c u re D / W iW M , 4 5 + , N S , t o s h a r e “ t h e re s t o f t h e s to r y ” w i t h . 2 9 5 8 _______________________

FORGET “STAR WARS,” WATCH THE

ATTRACTIVE, SPONTANEOUS, FUN-LOV ING, c a rin g a r t is t , s t r iv in g -t o - b e - s p ir it u -

m m

IS THIS THE LAND OF THE UNEDUCAT ED, u n e m p lo y e d , u n a v a ila b le , u n d e r

SEEKING “JAMES HERRIOT TYPE."

SW F, 3 6 , N S , e n jo y s h ik in g , a n im a ls , r e a d in g , b a s e b a ll, tr a v e l a n d m o r e . I S O p o s i t iv e , f u n , a ttr a c tiv e S / D W M , 3 2 -4 0 , to s h a re a d v e n tu re s . 3093

a ttr a c tiv e a n d c le a n , w it h in s a tia b le a n d u n s a tis fie d a p p e t i t e I S O s lim , a t t r a c t iv e , c le a n , u n s a tis fie d F, 18 -3 5 . L e t ’s fu lfill o u r n e e d s & d e s ir e s . D is c r e tio n a m u s t. 3 0 7 4 ________________

WALKED OUTSIDE, SAW THE NORTHERN

Sure, your ex cughta be "processing” the end of your long relation ship. But why should he do this with you? It sounds like you are not really prepared to let

L ig h ts . F ig u r e d o u t w h a t w a s m is s in g . S W P M l o o k in g fo r t h a t p e r s o n . M u s t b e d r iv e n a n d k n o w w h a t y o u w a n t fr o m life . B e fit. S t u n m e . 3 0 7 5 ______________

him go. Let him, even if

SUMMER’S COMING. LET’S SPEND IT

make like a mcllusk.

to g e t h e r ! A t tr a c tiv e D P W M , 3 9 , 6 ’ 2 ” , s le n d e r a n d fit, s e e k s a t t r a c t iv e , s lim , la d y , 2 0 S -3 0 S , fo r f r ie n d s h ip o r L T R . In te r e s ts in c lu d e o u t d o o r a c tiv itie s a n d m o r e . 3 0 7 8 ___________________________

ONE-NIGHT STANDS CAN STAND OUT IN t h e r a in . I’ m 2 0 , b lu e e y e s , 13 0 l b s ., c o l le g e - b o u n d , c o m p u t e r p e r s o n . F o r h o b b ie s I e n j o y m o v i e s , c o m p u t e r s , m o u n t a in b i k in g , a n d d o w n h ill s k iin g . 3 0 7 9 ______________

SEARCHING FOR THAT HEART OF GOLD. S W M , 2 3 , lik e s o u t d o o r s , p o lit ic s , la u g h in g , m u s ic . I S O b i g - h e a r t e d , c o n fid e n t , e n e r g e tic , p o s it iv e w o m a n . 3 0 8 1

BiWM, HONEST, CARING ISO A LADY w h o is t h e s a m e . I’m 4 5 , fu ll o f life . L e t ’s b e f r ie n d s , a n d t r y fo r a L T R . I’ m t o ld I’ m a w o m a n ’s b e s t f r ie n d . 3 0 8 6

it means watching him J c u aery

you want to

remain friends. Be a friend to him now, and let it be a clean break. Given enough time, he may find a way to make like ati oyster and turn that painful pebble of rejection into a pearl. Love, M

Jjola

Or respond the old-fashion way: CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1-900-370-7127 $1.99/min. m u st b e 18+

may 1 9 , 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 41

A o o km q w o m o n , a m t

ADVENTURES AWAIT. SWM, 34, 6’, 175 ; l b s ., e n jo y s c a m p in g , m t n . b i k in g , h ik in g , s u n s e ts , fu ll m o o n s & m o s t s p o r t s . S p o n t a n e o u s , h o n e s t & s e n s it iv e . I S O S W F , 2 0 -3 8 , a t h le t ic , a ttr a c t i v e , in te llig e n t & f u n - l o v i n g . 3 0 8 7

* « * * ;

BLACK/WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY, VAN

;

M o r r is o n , M & M ’s , ra in y S u n d a y a fte r; n o o n s , t h e N e t h e r la n d s , C h e t B a k e r , ; W o o d y A l l e n , T o o t s ie R o lls , A .C . J o b i m , I S c a n d i n a v ia , S p ik e L e e . S W P M , 4 0 , t s e e k s s e n tim e n ta l, s e x y , s in c e re , s o p h is t ic a te d , s u lt r y S F . 30 88 ____________•

RUNNING MATE. ISO A PERSON WHO

lo v e s t h e o u t d o o r s a n d r u n n in g t h e * tr a ils . I S O a S F , 1 9 - 3 1 , fit, a c tiv e a n d * o u t - g o in g . I’ m 2 5 , S M , h a z e l e y e s , N S , » lo o k in g fo r L T R . L e t ’s ru n d u r in g th e * s u n s e t. 30 89 _____________________________ ;

RETIRED SPAGHETTI-EATING CHAMPION, b u t n o lim p n o o d l e — S M , 4 4 . T h e

;

w a te r h a s t o b e re a lly b o ilin g b e fo r e t h e real c o o k in g s t a r t s . C a ll if h u n g ry .

t I

don’t want a charge on your phone bill? call 1 - 800 - 710 -8 72 7 and use your credit card. 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be 18+.

YOU: PERCEPTIVE, PENSIVE, NIMBLE-

FOR REAL. DWM, 37, 5*9”, 170 LBS.,

w i t t e d , p a s s io n a t e , t r e n c h a n t , d r o ll, c r e a tiv e , c o m e ly , c u r v a c e o u s , s lig h tly e c c e n tric . M e : t h o u g h t f u l, g i f t e d , a rts o r i e n t e d , g o o d - lo o k in g , fit, s o i s h , 6 ’ , im a g in a t iv e , u n iq u e ly fu n n y . W a n n a d a n c e ? 30 48 ____________________________

l o o k in g . R a c e , a g e , s t r a ig h t , B i u n im p o r ta n t . W h o y o u a re is. O p e n t o a n y a n d all w h o are o p e n , u n in h ib ite d a n d fo r re a l. 30 24 ___________________________

WISHING WOMAN WANTON, WITTY, w is p y , w e ird a n d w is e . W h e n n o t rid in g o r w r e s t lin g , th is w ily w a b b i t , I’ ll w h e t w ith w a s h in g s , w in e a n d w a n t . S W P M , g o r g e o u s , 3 9 , 5 ’ n ” , 160 lb s . 3 0 45

TALL, ATTRACTIVE, WELL-EDUCATED, a th le tic D J M s e e k s o u t g o i n g , z e s tfu l p a r tn e r , 3 0 -4 0 , to t a l k , p la y , lo v e , c o n n e c t. O r a little t e n n i s , h ik in g , b ik in g , s w im m in g w o u ld b e n ic e . 3 0 56 ________

SWM, 40, ISO HARDCORE F, 20-40, to h ik e & s k i/rid e la s t re m a in s o f w in t e r a t S to w e , S u g a rb u s h & T u ck e rm a n R a v in e . M u s t like b la c k la b s , N S / N D . B u g s p r a y ’s a c o lo g n e ! 3 0 5 7 ____________

SEARCHING. GOOD-LOOKING, HEALTHY, c la s s y , fo c u s e d a n d c o m m itt e d . E n jo y s w o r k o u t s , r u n n in g , b ik in g , t e n n is , s to c k m a r k e t, p la y s , c la ss ic a l m u s ic , c o n c e r ts , n a t u r e , fa m ily & c o ffe e . I S O e q u iv a le n t F life p a rtn e r, 3 5 - 4 7 is h . 3 0 58 ___________

3 0 9 1 ______________________________________*

HAVE FUN THIS SUMMER-MAYBE

WANT TO BE THE LEADING LADY IN MY

’

film ? D W M , 3 0 , c o lle g e - e d u c a te d film s t u d e n t s e e k in g p la y fu l p la y m a t e fo r a u d it i o n i n g . L e t ’s m ix b u s in e s s a n d p le a s u r e . R o m a n tic s a p p ly ! 3 0 9 2 _______

b e y o n d — w it h a t t r a c t iv e , s o is h M w ith t im e & m e a n s to e n jo y life . 3 0 59 ______

I « *

SWPM, 31, NS, SELF-EMPLOYED,

c o lle g e g r a d , la id -b a c k p e r s o n a lit y , s lig h t d is a b ilit y , e n jo y s s k i i n g , w a l k i n g , t h e b e a c h , m o v ie s , d a n c in g . S e e k s S F w / o p e n h e a r t, e a s y la u g h a n d s e n s e o f a d v e n t u r e . 3 0 9 9 _________________________

LONG STORY SHORT: SWM, 38, COOL

jo b , g o o d p a tie n c e . bound by w e lc o m e .

* • • :

g e n e s , m u s ic , a n im a ls , : S e e k s L T R b o rn o f a ttra c tio n , t r u s t . C a lls g o o d , b u t le tte rs I P le a s e b e s a n e . 3 0 4 3 _________ I

SM, 6’, SLIM, ORANGE CO., 43, ARTIST, * lik e s h i k i n g , n a t u r e , o rg a n ic g a r d e n i n g , I m a n y k in d s o f m u s ic , f ilm s , b o o k s . O f f - • g rid liv in g I S O s le n d e r , e a r th y S F , 3 3 * 4 5 - 3 0 3 0 _________________________________ :

ARE YOU ISO MOTHER NATURE,

f o r e s ts , s t r e a m s , g a r d e n s , c a m p fire s , c a m p i n g , s u n s h in e , h o m e b o d y , r o m a n c e , se x? M u s t lo v e d o g s , y o u r s w e lc o m e . F r e e d o m t o r u n . 3 0 3 1______________

» » j * ;

NEAT FREAK WANTED. ME: 44, 6’l ”,

•

t r im , v e r y c le a n . Y o u : f i t , s e n s u o u s , lik e t h in g s n e a t & c le a n , p h y s ic a lly a p p e a li n g , h ig h ly d r i v e n , w illin g t o b e c h e ris h e d & a d o r e d . W ill a n s w e r a ll. 3 0 3 3

; : I

SAILING PARTNER, NS, FOR SAILING ON * l

L a k e C h a m p la in o r M a in e c o a s t th is s u m m e r . S a ilin g e x p e r ie n c e is n o t a r e q u ir e m e n t , b u t g o o d p h y s ic a l c o n d it io n a n d a s e n s e o f h u m o r a re a d e fin ite p lu s . 3 0 4 0 _________________

« * * *

PASSION, MUSIC, ROMANCE, GENTLENESS, s e n s u a lit y , p la y fu ln e s s a re t h e

e s s e n c e o f m y b e in g . I’ m a h a n d s o m e , h e a lth -c o n s c io u s M s e e k in g t h e b e a u ty o f a w o m a n t o t a s te & s a v o r t h e fru its o f life . 3 0 5 4

• ; :

t i

THE VERB “TO LOVE.” LOVE IS ACTION, * t w o s o u ls d a n c in g in h a r m o n y . I’ m 3 3 , t a l l , a t t r a c t i v e , p r o fe s s io n a l, c r e a t iv e , h ig h I Q , g e n u i n e . A r e y o u 2 5 - 3 0 , b e lie v e s a m e ? L e t t h e d a n c e b e g i n . 3042

H e

M o S t i-Y

l l • » •

SICK OF BEING BURNED.

D e p re s se d S W M , 18 , h a rd c o r e f ie n d , c h a in s m o k e r , s e e k s lo v in g e m b r a c e in w h ic h to d r o w n o u t life ’s s o r r o w s . 30 60 _________

DO YOU ENJOY FROLICKING OUTDOORS? M e , t o o ! S W M , 3 5 , 190 l b s ., 6 ’ 2” , N S , s o c ia l d r in k e r , lo v e s o u t d o o r s a c tiv itie s , o c c a s io n a l n ig h t o u t in B u r lin g to n . S e e k in g a c tiv e N S , 2 8 - 3 7 , fo r fr ie n d s h i p , p o s s ib le L T R . 3 0 0 4_______________

WANTED: TROPHY DATE.

R e c e n tly D W M , 4 8 , s e e k s t a ll, s le n d e r n y m p h o f le g a l a g e t o c re a te s h o c k w a v e a t u p c o m in g r e u n io n . E x e r c is e y o u r w ic k e d s id e . A l l in g o o d fu n ! 3 0 0 7

JUST ANOTHER AD.

L o v i n g , c a rin g m a n , N S , 5 ’ 9 ” , 16 5 l b s ., s e e k s w a r m , k in d w o m a n fo r s p e c ia l t im e s . I lik e t o r e a d , r u n , d r a w , h i k e , d a n c e , t r a v e l. H a p p y M o t h e r ’s D a y ! 3008_____________________

TRUE-LOVE BELIEVER ISO WISE GOD DESS, b e a u t i f u l , s lim , p a s s io n a t e , p e t lo v e r. W i M , 5 0 , s ’ 8 ” , f i t , s e e k e r o f p e a c e & h a p p in e s s fo r e a c h a n d e v e r y o n e . I lo v e y o u . 30 09

SPRING FLING: SWM, 38, 6’, ISO

liv e ly S F , 2 5 - 3 8 , w h o is f it, h a p p y , e d u c a t e d . I n te r e s ts : s a ilin g , t e n n is , t r a v e l , m o u n t a i n s , t h e o c e a n , o f f -b e a t h u m o r , b a d w e a t h e r , s p ic y f o o d , c ro p c irc le s . Y o u ? 3 0 16 ____________________________________

SWM, TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, PILOT, s a ilo r, a d v e n tu r e r , s e e k s a d v e n t u r e s s . R e d h e a d s a p lu s , b u t n o t n e c e s s a ry . 2 99 8 ____________________________________

SEEKING SLIM, SUPERFLY CHICK

in to a lt. m u s ic , k in d b e e r, p o o l h u s t- lin g , v e g g ie e a tin g (e x c e p t s u s h i) , m is ty h ik e s , s u m m e r b l a d i n g , F ly n n T h e a te r , M o n tr e a l c a s in o . 2 0 -s o m e t h in g S W M w / b o d y / lo o k s o f G r e e k g o d ! 2 9 7 5 _________ H a n d s o m e , fit P B M , 2 5 , I S O v e r y m a tu re o r o ld e r w o m a n . “ A g e is n o th in g b u t a n u m b e r .” 298 8 _______________ c u te in te lle c tu a l w ith a n a r r o w b o d y a n d a b r o a d m in d . A n d h e a r t. I’ ll b e at th e M a y 7 p a r ty a n d s o w ill y o u . 298 9

TALL, ATTTRACTIVE, EDUCATED SWM, 2 6 , I S O b e a u tifu l, in te llig e n t, s ta b le S / M a W F fo r s u m m e r tim e a d v e n t u r e s .

WHAT DO WE WANT? Y o u n g

4 0 s , a liv e 81 lo v in g , d e p e n d a b le , s e e k s y o u n g e r , m a t u r e , s e x y F w ith d e p t h , w i t , h u m o r , p a s s io n s , t o s h a r e m e m o r a b le t im e s , p s y c h o s p ir itu a l c lim b s . F o llo w y o u r h e a r t. 2 9 9 4 _____________________________

GOING UP. TALL, FIT, UPPER 30S,

been c o lle g e d , b e e n m a r r ie d , b e e n a d a d , b e e n d iv o r c e d , b e e n s in g le , b e e n b e t te r fo r it. B e e n m a k in g th e m is ta k e s d iffe r e n t m is ta k e s . B e e n lo o k in g fo r a fr ie n d . 2 9 9 9 ____________________________

FINANCIALLY SOLVENT, COMPETITIVE S W M I S O a h e a lth y r e la tio n s h ip w ith t h e r ig h t w o m a n . I v a lu e s p o n ta n e ity , o p tim is m , b e a u ty & h a p p in e s s . If y o u h a v e a lu s t fo r life a n d a h e a r t th a t n e e d s t o s h a r e lo v e , p le a s e d o r e s p o n d . 20-30 Y O . 2 9 3 7

RESTLESS IN MIDDLEBURY.

W e ll-a d ju s te d , e a s y -g o in g , g e n tle D W M w h o lik e s , b u t d o e s n o t h a v e , c h ild re n — fit, o u t d o o r -o r ie n te d , s lim , 5 ’ i o ” , 4 5 , h u m o r o u s , s t r o n g e th ic s & m o r a ls — s e e k s P F , N S w / s im ila r c h a ra c te ris tic s fo r L T R . C a r r y -o n b a g g a g e u s u a lly fits . 2 9 3 8

IF YOU ENJOY OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES, d in in g , d a n c in g , la u g h in g a n d are 5 ’ 6 ” , o r le s s , 3 5 - 4 5 , f it, a c tiv e , a t tr a c tiv e , call m e A S A P . S W M , 4 5 , f i t , h u m o r o u s .

i ____________________________________

DO YOU ENJOY CUDDLING, HOLDING

l b s ., y o u t h f u l , e n g a g in g , o p e n - m in d e d , a p p e a lin g . L ik e s o u t d o o r s , B u r lin g to n n ig h tlif e , l a u g h in g , m o v ie s , s u n s e ts , t r a v e l , p h o t o g r a p h y , c ro p c irc le s. I S O lo v e r t o s h a re fu n t im e s . 3 0 20 _________

h a n d s & o t h e r a c tiv itie s d o n e in p r i v a te ? Y o u n g p r o fe s s io n a l w / L a tin lo o k s s e e k s y o u n g , a t t r a c t iv e , s a s s y la s s . I lik e m o v ie s , m u s ic , g o o d f o o d & th e o u t d o o r s . W im p s n e e d n o t a p p ly .

LETS RUMBA, BABY. F u n a n d a c tiv e S W P M , 3 7 , 5 ’ n ” , 185 l b s ., A n t o n i o B a n d e r a s g o o d l o o k s , s e e k s s u ltr y s w e e t h e a r t , 2 5 -3 7 , fo r fr ie n d s h ip & r o m a n c e . W ild s tr e a k s O K . F e m m e fa ta le s n o t . F o r L T R . 3 0 22 ______________

HANDSOME, PASSIONATE, CONTEMPLA TIVE, p re fe rs lo n g h a ir, flo w in g d r e s s e s ,

YOUNG-LOOKING DWM, 45, EXCELLENT

u n f k b u u o u s

o c i a l

i ____________________________________

DPM, 43, ENJOYS DANCING, DINING, t r ip s , s u n s e ts , b e a c h e s , c u d d lin g a t h o m e , tr e a tin g a la d y w / h o n e s ty , r e s p e c t, s in c e re ty . I S O F w it h s im ila r in te re s ts fo r p o s s ib le L T R . 2 9 4 3 p h y s ic a l c o n d itio n & h e a lth , 5 ’ 5 ” , b r ./ b r ., N D , s m o k e r , fin a n c ia lly s e c u r e , live s a lo n e . S e e k s F c o m p a n io n to e n jo y e v e n in g s / w e e k e n d s c a m p in g , fis h in g & d in in g . 2 9 4 4

used • closeout • new 191 Bank S t, Burlington 860-0190

W i n n e r a ls o r e c e iv e s d i n n e r fo r 2 at

DAILY 15 Center St., Burlington 862-9647

3093

i ____________________________________

PARTNER IN TIME. W h it e , s e lfe m p l o y e d , 4 5 , 6 ’ , 17 5 l b s ., fit, f u n , d e p e n d a b l e , h o n e s t a n d m is c h ie v o u s . C a ll if y o u ca n c o m e o u t & p la y . 3001

•T n c O u td o o r G e a r E xch an ge *

SWF, 3 6 , NS, enjoys hik ing, animals, reading, baseball, travel and more. ISO positive, fun, attrac tive S/DWM, 3 2 -4 0 , to share adventures.

SWM, 50, LOOKS 40, LOOKING FOR A

SUMMER FUN! DWM, 40S, 5’9”, 150

c u r v e s , s im p le ru ra l life s t y le , p h y s ic a l o u t d o o r w o r k a n d p la y , d e e p t a lk s , s l o w l o v e m a k i n g , m e d i t a t i o n , w o r k in g t o g e t h e r a t h o m e , n o t e a tin g a n im a ls , c o m m i t m e n t . 3 0 17

SEEKING “JAMES HERRIOT TYPE.**

STELLA GET YOUR GROOVE BACK.

P e rs o n a l o f th e W e e k r e c e iv e s a g i f t c e r tif ic a t e f o r a F R E E D a y H ik e r ’s G u id e to V T f r o m

MEAN PEOPLE SUCK! SINGLE PISCEAN

TAKE A CHANCE...HANDSOME SWP,

C e lt, 2 9 , a t h e is t, a n a r c h is t, t a ll, h a n d s o m e , s o b e r a n d lo v in g . S e e k in g b ril lia n t, ta ll a n d k in d w o m a n , 2 5 - 3 5 , w h o d e s ire s lo v e w / in te lle c tu a l f u lfillm e n t. M id d le b u r y a r e a . 2 9 4 8 __________________

4 0 s , e x c e lle n t t a b l e m a n n e r s , w e llb e h a v e d & b e lie f in t r a d , v a l u e s , w o u ld lik e to m e e t a t tr a c tiv e la d y fo r c o m p a n io n s h ip t o s h a r e la u g h t e r & a c tiv itie s . 2910 __________________________

“ANDRE FOR ANNA”:

S W M , 29, seeks F o p p o n e n t fo r a m a t c h . N o c e rta in sk ill le v e l n e e d e d . I a m n o t c o n c e r n e d w ith w i n n i n g ...i n f a c t, lo v e s u its m e fin e . R a c q u e ts in c lu d e d . 2 9 6 8 ________ _______

SWM, 29, W/ AFFINITY FOR SOCCER &

SHE IS SOMEWHERE-QUIET, BUT NOT

m o v ie s a n d o u t d o o r a c tiv itie s , b u t h ib e r n a te in t h e w in te r . I S O S / D F , 3 0 3 7 , in to m u c h th e s a m e fo r f r ie n d s h ip , p o s s ib ly m o r e . In te r e s te d ? 2 9 19 ________

a fr a id , p e a c e fu l, e n e r g e tic , c o n t e n t , b u t a d v e n t u r e s o m e , m e llo w , w i l d , p la y f u l, y e t s in c e r e , w a te r fa lls , w in d a n d f e a th e r p illo w s . M e : fa th e r , e a r th d r u m m e r , ru r a l, ro c k e r, v e g e t a r ia n , h e r e . 2 9 5 5

m a s s a g e s , I S O in te llig e n t , a t tr a c tiv e S F w / a g r e a t s m ile . P o s s ib le L T R , o r ju s t h a n g in g o u t is a g r e a t s t a r t . 2 9 11

DWM, 37, 5’io". I AM INTO MUSIC,

APPLICATIONS NOW BEING ACCEPTED:

2 5 , I S O S F a c c o m p lic e , 18 - 2 5 . F ro m b e in g h ig h in th e m tn s . t o g e ttin g d o w n in th e v a lle y s , le t’s h a v e fu n !!

D W M , 3 9 , 5 ’ 8” , 180 l b s ., b r n . h a ir/e y e s . E n jo y s m u s ic , T V , m o v i e s , fis h in g , c a m p in g , h ik in g , s k iin g , lo n g rid e s ip t h e c o u n t r y , c o m p a n i o n s h i p . S e e k in g F, 2 5 -4 5 , to fill p o s i t io n . 2 9 12 _______ . -

m u ____________________________________

SARCASTIC, SEXY, INTELLIGENT SWPM,

RED ROVER, RED ROVER! ALL FAIR AND

3 0 , I S O s o u lf u l , c la s s y fe m in is t, 2 4 - 1 4 , w it h s t y l e , h e a r t a n d g u s t o t o s h a r e an a p p r e c ia tio n o f n a t u r e , m u s ic , g o o d f u n , f o o d a n d c o n v e r s a t io n . 2 9 14

BEER DRINKIN’, HELL RAISING SWM,

w in s o m e w o m e n , 3 4 -4 4 , - w it h te n d e r h e a r ts , s v e lte fig u re s a n d in q u is itiv e m in d s c o m e o v e r ! S m o k e r s a n d j o k e r s : o n e , t w o , th r e e red lig h t! 2 9 5 9 _________

MUSE WANTED. NEA WRITER, 57, re tire d E n g lis h a n d film te a c h e r , I S O s u p e r in te llig e n t , s lig h tly w a c k y , b u t n o t p s y c h o t ic , w o m a n w h o ’s re a d G u rd jie f, b u t t h in k s L a o - T z u a n d D a ffy D u c k g o t it r ig h t. 2 9 6 1__________________

FOR REAL-GENTLE MAN, GOOD-LOOK ING, m id d le - a g e , v e r y s o l v e n t , s e a r c h in g fo r a t t r a c t iv e , c o m p a n io n a b le la d y t o s h a r e ric h , fu lfillin g life , t r a v e l, y a c h t in g , ju s t p la in f u n . E v e n t u a l c o m m it m e n t , m y g o a l. 2 9 6 5 ________________

SWM, 36, 5’io”, BLUE-EYED, ATTRAC TIVE, i n t r o v e r t e d , i n v i t iv e , a n d a b it n u ts ! S e e k s s a m e q u a litie s in 2 5 -4 0 Y O F. W e b o th k n o w s o c ie ty s u c k s , b u t c o n t in u e t o e v o l v e . 2 9 6 7 _______________

IF YOU ARE A SF, 22-40, I AM SEARCH-

I BELIEVE WE ARE HERE TO FACE OUR fe a rs a n d to fin d l o v e . S W M , 3 1 , a ls o liv e s fo r m tn . b i k in g , f ilm , c o ffe e , I n t e r n e t , d a r k b e e r , a h e a lth y f a n ta s y life ( B D / S M , a n y o n e ? ) . 2 9 15 ____________

SWM, MUSIC-LOVER, GREAT KISSER & c r e a tiv e ly c a rin g m a n s e e k s b e a u tifu l a n d s e x y girl in h e r 2 0 s to s h a r e m y lo v e w it h & call m y o w n . I lik e g iv in g & r e c e iv in g a t t e n t i o n . 2 9 3 6 ____________

SM, 52, RUTLAND AREA, SEEKS a ttr a c t iv e la d y , 3 0 - 5 5 , fo r d a t i n g le a d in g to L T R . O n l y la d ie s s e e k in g r e s p e c t, c a r in g , a n d h o n e s t y n e e d r e s p o n d . I’m 5 ’ 11” , b lu e e y e s , b r o w n h a ir. 2 9 3 4 SINGLE MALE, 49, LIVING IN ALTERED s t a t e , s e e k s s p ir itu a l fe m a le . T r u th and ju s tic e m a jo r p r io r ity . N o r t h e a s t K i n g d o m a r e a . Y 2 K c o m p lia n t . 2 9 3 2

in g fo r y o u . S W M , 2 7 , 6 ' i ” : I e n jo y lo n g w a lk s & w r it in g p o e t r y . B e a u tifu l s u n s e ts a re w o r th s h a r in g . 2 9 0 9

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T i r e d o f S i t t i n g Ho m e a l o n e ? N o p r o s p e c t s o n t h e Ho r iz o n ? F e d u p w / t h e cr eep s ’ y o u m e e t a t b a r s ? ■

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SPIRITUAL COMPANION. GWM, 39,

CU SEEKING F FOR THREESOME. HELP

a c c o m p a n y m e o n 10 - d a y r o a d t r ip . L o t s o f tim e t o re la x , a n d w ill b e n e a r B r a n s o n , M O . 30 95_____________________

81 t o u c h . I’ m w h i t e , p re fe r b la c k / A s ia n m e n . N o s t r in g s , b u t s t e a d y a ffa ir. I’m s in g le , s lim , 4 9 , n e e d a ffe c tio n . A ll a g e s , d is c re e t & v e r s a tile . 30 84________

5 ’ 8” , 19 8 l b s ., b r. h a ir/ b l. e y e s . H o b b i e s : lite r a tu r e , m o v ie s , a rt 81 t h e a te r. S e e k s in te llig e n t, s e n s u a l, c re a tiv e G M , N S , N D , n o fa t s , n o f e m m e s . 2 9 5 2

u s fu lfill a fa n ta s y . M u s t b e c le a n , d is c re e t, N S . W e are 4 o is h . 3 0 5 1 _________

BiF, 45, ATTRACTIVE ISO F FOR FUN &

EAGER TO PLEASE WM, 36, ISO

NEW TO SCENE. S W M , 5 0 , s e e k s t o p m a le s fo r fu n a n d fr ie n d s h ip . A g e /ra c e o p e n . I’ m 5 ’ n ” , m e d . b u ild , b lu e e y e s , b r o w n h air. 2 9 3 5 _______________________

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5 ’ n ” , 190 l b s ., b a ld in g , b e a r d e d , h a iry c h e s t e d , s e e k s a d v e n t u r o u s m e n fo r in te n s e , e ro tic e n c o u n t e r s . E x p e r ie n c e d in d o m i n a n t 81 s u b m is s iv e ro le p la y . A ll s c e n e s c o n s id e re d . C a ll m e a n d m a k e it a lo n g , h o t s u m m e r ! 3 0 44______________

The Count s e e k s f e m m e , 1 8 - 2 7 , fo r n ig h ts o f d a r k m y s te r y . S m o k e r w h o e n jo y s b o w l i n g , p o o l , d a n c in g , m u s i c ... N o m o re b r o k e n h e a r ts , p le a s e ! 2 9 5 7

JUST GOING AROUND AGAIN FOR A c h a n c e a t r o m a n c e — re a lly 81 tr u ly , th a t is! P e r h a p s y o u ’d like to m e e t u p w ith m e s o m e tim e real s o o n ? G M is in a u s u a l w a y ; lo o k in g fo r r o m a n c e . 2 9 0 4

To respond to Letters Only ads:

CTRL VT SUBMISSIVE SWM, 22, a ttr a c t i v e , h o r n y , k in k y , in to b o n d a g e , ro le p la y in g , c r o s s -d r e s s in g , e t c ., w a n ts to b e a lo v e s la v e t o d o m in a n t fe m a le . I’ m c le a n . S o m u s t y o u . W ill a n s w e r a ll. 3 0 61

LONESOME ANARCHIST, TREE-HUGGING RETRO NUEVO MISH-MASH, 42, s e e k s fr ie n d s h ip , L T R . Y 2 K? W h a t s h o u ld w e d o ? S t a y h o m e b y t h e fire? C a r ib b e a n v a c a tio n ? D a n c e ’ til d a w n ? W h e r e v e r ... w e ’ ll b e lu c k y , h a p p y . B o x 5 2 4 ________

WOMAN, 52, 5’5*, 125 LBS., MOTHER o f s c h o o l- a g e d c h ild , s e e k s k in d m a n w it h w e l l- d e v e l o p e d s e n s e o f h u m o r a n d lib e ra l p o litic s to s h a r e d in n e r s , m o v ie s , s u m m e r m u s ic o u t d o o r s . C trl. V T / v is it B u r lin g to n re g u la rly . B a ld in g d a d s w e lc o m e . B o x 5 2 9 _______________

h o n e s t, s e rio u s m a le , 5 5 -6 5 , to d i n e , d a n c e , a n d p o s s ib le L T R . N S , N D , lo v e s c o u n try m u s ic , d a n c in g , w a l k i n g . B o x 5 3 2

p r o fe s s io n a l, a t t r a c t iv e , k in d 81 c a r in g , s m a r t , fu n n y , h a s k id s a n d e a ts .-S e e k s a n ic e g u y , h a n d s o m e a n d s m a r t , w h o s e life is n o t all a b o u t h im s e lf, B o x 5 2 1

37 YO YOUNGER SISTER OF BROTHER

HEALTHY OPTIMIST, DWM, 6’, 60S,

lib e r a l, ir r e v e r e n t, s p ir it u a l, e m p a th e t ic , s e n s u a l,c u r io u s . S e e k h u m o r o u s , k i n d , a c tiv e M w / p a s s io n fo r liv in g life ’s q u e s t i o n s , w o u l d c h e ris h a p a r tn e r w / w h o m t o e n jo y s o m e a n s w e r s . B o x 5 0 1

m a n t o w a lk in t h e w o o d s o r s tro ll o n th e b e a c h . L ik e s : r e a d in g , w o r k i n g o u t , m o v ie s , k id s . B o x 5 2 6 ____________

e d u c a t e d &. s e m i-r e tir e d . I e n jo y th e o u t d o o r s (s w im m in g , c a n o e in g , s a ilin g , h ik in g , w a lk in g ) , c o o k in g 81 e a tin g , r e a d in g , b a llr o o m d a n c in g , o ld ie s , o p e r a , b a lle t, trip s o n u n c o n g e s te d c o u n tr y r o a d s . R o m a n tic , s o f t , s e lf-c o n f i d e n t , o u t g o i n g . W o u ld like to fin d a fe m in in e w o m a n , w h o ’s c o m p a t ib le , h a s t im e d u r in g th e w e e k & w e e k e n d s t o s h a r e / e n jo y h e r & m y fa v o r ite p a s tim e s t o g e t h e r . B o x 5 2 2

BEAUTIFUL SPRING GODDESS, 33, W/ 1

ATTRACTIVE Wi ENJOYS LITERATURE,

c h ild , h e a lth y life s ty le . S e e k s k i n d , in s p ir e d , p a s s io n a t e , h a n d s o m e , s o u l fu l m a n , 2 5 -4 0 . D r a w n t o : d a n c e , fire l ig h t, d r u m s , s u m m e r w a te r s , s u n s e ts , w o o d s , a n c ie n t c u ltu r e s , G a ia ’s m y s te r ie s . B o x 5 0 7

a r ts , o u t d o o r s . I S O lik e - m in d e d g e n t le m a n , 6 0 - 7 0 . F r ie n d s h ip o n ly . B o x 5 2 7

IRS, 4/15 AND CLUB METRONOME, 5/7.

SWM, 40S. INTELLIGENT, ATHLETIC 81

Y o u : t a l l , d a r k a n d h a n d s o m e w ith f o r e ig n a c c e n t; y o u a re in t h e b u ild in g t r a d e . M e : d a r k , lo n g c u r ly h a ir a n d c u r io u s a b o u t y o u . 305

p a s s io n a t e , I S O f i t , a ttr a c tiv e la d y , 2 0 4 5 , fo r d is r e e t r e n d e z v o u s . N o h e a d g a m e s . In tim a c y , f r ie n d s h ip , p le a su re . 2995

SAT., 5/1, AM., ESSEX COLONIAL You: C o n n o l ly M e c h a n ic a l T r u c k — C a n a d ia n b e e r . M e : p e tit e b l o n d e in t e a l b lu e C h e v y C a v a lie r . “ N ic e j e a n s .” Y o u t o o k m y b r e a th a w a y . A r e y o u a v a ila b le ? J03

5/3, WINE TASTING. YOU SAID THE

P in o G r ig io w a s “ t h e b e s t .” T h e t e a m a g r e e d . R e d w in e g iv e s y o u h e a d a c h e s . I w a s m o o n l i g h t i n g a t t h e la s t t a b l e . W o u ld lik e t o t a l k . 3 0 4 6 ________________

YOU: ARMPIT BOY. ME: SNACKING ON b a n a n a t r e a t s . W a n n a m a k e o u t? 3 0 6 7

KB, I WANT TO OFFER MY SINCERE &

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a b je c t a p o l o g y fo r b e in g s u c h a f o o l . I w a s b lin d e d b y fe a r. I w is h t h e b e s t t o y o u a n d y o u r s . P S C . 30 80

C o n ta c t m e . S e t h . 3 0 4 9

D W M , 42, 6’ i ” , 195 lb s . I e n jo y m y k i d s , b i k in g , R o lle r b la d in g , g a r d e n in g a n d m o r e . S e e k in g a la d y w h o h a s s a m e in te r e s ts . F i t , 2 8 -4 2 . S e n d p h o t o , p le a s e . B o x 5 2 0 ______________________________

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HELLO, LADIES OUT THERE.

DWM, 53, SECURE PROFESSIONAL W/

a rtis tic s o u l. N e e d t o b e c r e a tiv e . P o e t , ly ric is t, s c u lp to r , N S , N D . M ild ly d is a b le d w / im p a ir e d s p e e c h . I S O F to a p p r e c ia te life w i t h . L T R p o s s . B o x 5 19

49, TRADITIONAL ADVENTUROUS,

SORT OF SHY, CWWi, 50. PETITE, ISO

g o o d - lo o k in g . L o o k i n g fo r C U fo r d is c r e e t, a d u lt f u n . D is c r e tio n e x p e c te d & a s s u r e d . 2 9 9 0

AFFECTIONATE, ATTRACTIVE, TALL FIT,

HOPELESSLY ROMANTIC DWM, 40,

A t t r a c t i v e , S W F , m id - 20 s , f u ll-fig u r e d , e d u c a t e d , a c tiv e , f u n , lo v e a rt 81 h o r r o r m o v ie s . I S O S M , 2 i - 3 o i s h , s m a r t &. c re a t i v e , n o t a b s o r b e d in a p p e a r a n c e s . S im p s o n s fa n a + . B o x 5 13 ____________

‘r i z .” W o n d e r in g w h e r e m y s w e e tie is! S W F , 4 0 , s e e k s p a r tn e r t o p a d d l e , p e d a l , g o a d v e n t u r in g w it h n e a r/fa r. C u t e , s m a r t , i n d e p e n d e n t , a t h le t ic . I S O s im ila r in a k in d M . W h a t m a k e s y o u sm ile? B o x 5 2 5 __________________________

WM, 38, 5’6", 145 LBS.,

c e rta in ly a rare f i n d , a s I a m c u t e , s u c c e s s fu l 81 g e n e r o u s . I S O c o m p a tr ia te fo r fu n 81 g a m e s , p lu s p o s s ib ilitie s fo r L T R . L e t ’s w rite ! B o x 5 30 _______________ d a d , 3 1. g o a l - o r ie n t e d ., p p $ ., q w n b u s i n e s s , c o u n tr y life , o c c a s io n a l 4 2 0 , m n t . b ik in g , c a m p in g , h o c k e y . L o v e little p e o p le ? S m ile ? S o m e t im e s silly? L e t ’s e xp re ss w / p e n , th e n . P h o to ? B o x 531

“WISH I COULD MEET A GIRL JUST LIKE YOU!” I’ m s ic k o f h e a r in g th a t o n e .

SPRING HAS SPRUNG, THE GRASS HAS

You: s h o r t , w h it e s k ir t w / d r e a d e d b o y . M e : S itt in g o n b e n c h , lo n g e r , d a r k h a ir. I w o u l d lo v e t o s h a r e a d r i n k w it h y o u , E th e r e a l L a d y . 3 0 7 7 _____________________

POPEYE SEEKING OLIVE O YL S W M , 3 2 , t h i n , a t t r a c t iv e , in te llig e n t , e m o t io n a lly s t a b le . V e r y a f f e c tio n a te ; h o w e v e r , s u f fers s e v e r e in itia l s h y n e s s . M a n y in te r e s ts . S e e k in g m u t u a l c h e m is tr y w it h s t a b le , 30 s , O li v e . N o c h u b b y L o o n e y T u n e s , p le a s e ! B o x 5 11________

NS FELLOW, 40, WS, VERY HUMOROUS,

SWF, 5’2", BR./BL., HELPING

s e e k s o ld e r b r o th e r o f s is te r (s ), w h o e xe rc is e s g o o d j u d g m e n t , is t h o u g h t f u l, e d u c a t e d , a t h le t ic , w i t t y a n d is in te r e s te d in h a v in g a n e x t r a o r d in a r y re la t io n s h ip . B o x 5 3 3 _______________________

AFRICAN DRUMMING, LASTTHURS.

LOOKING FOR LOVE.

c o w g irl s e e k s a m is c h e v o u s b e a u s h e c a n a id & a b e t . I f y o u e s c h e w u n n e c e s s a ry p la s tic o b je c ts a n d c a n d a n c e lik e a m o n k e y , I’ m y o u r g ir l. B o x 5 28

WIWF, 5'3", 57, LOOKING FOR

F r id a y s b a c k . Y o u : f l o w i n g , s ilk e n . M e : S h a r in g b ik e w it h fr ie n d d o w n t h e h ill.. “ N o b r a k e s !” I b e g y o u t o w a tc h th e s u n s e t w it h m e . 3 0 7 6 __________________

DID YOU TAKE MY PICTURE? SAT., 5/8,

muscular, mod. attractive, intelligent 81 eclectic, looking for fun, outgoing guy, 25-35, college-educated, interested in hiking, biking, travelling 81 just hanging out. No college guys, please. 3047

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CORNER OF COLLEGE & S. WILLARD,

M , 2 1 - 2 5 , fo r lo v e s la v e . N o p a in , ju s t b e s u b m is s iv e a n d h a v e f u n , s e r v e a n d g iv e b o d y r u b s . C le a n 81 d is c re e t a m u s t. 3 0 26 ______________________________

g re e n k a y a k b y L o n e R o c k P o in t? I’d lo v e a c o p y . 3 0 9 0 ___________________

6’, 175 LBS., BLKVBRN., LATE 30S,

HAVING FUN. CU LOOKING FOR YOUNG

MAKE MY WEEKENDS, SHARE MY n ig h ts

VICE-VERSA. GW LEATHERMAN, 40s,

h a ir , b l u e s u n g la s s e s , a t S p e e d e r 's w it h a r e d -h e a d e d f r ie n d . I w a l k e d b y a n d t h o u g h t I w a s in h e a v e n . H o w a b o u t c o ffe e s o m e tim e ? 3 0 8 2 __________________

ROMANIC BiF ISO F PLAYMATE TO

m o r e . M u s t lo v e life & h o r s e s . 2 9 4 5

WED., 4/26. YOU: PETITE, SHORT BR.

g iv e o r t a k e a fe w . A n y a g e fo r fu n & f r ie n d s h ip . I’ m 5 0 , 215 lb s . L e t m e s u rp ris e y o u b ig - tim e . 3 0 62 _______________

Bi-CURIOUS MaWF ISO Bi OR Bi-CURIOUS F, 2 0 - 3 5 , fo r f r ie n d s h ip , m a y b e

•

a d v e n t u r o u s a n d o p e n -m in d e d C U fo r a n e r o tic fo u r s o m e ! F irs t tim e a n d e a g e r t o try ! C le a n , v e r y d is c re e t! 3 0 38

b lo n d e / b lu e e y e s , a ttr a c tiv e & f u n - l o v in g . S e e k s s e x y B iF , 1 8 -4 0 , t o s h o w m e th e r o p e s . L e t ’s m e e t a n d b e g in m y le s s o n s . 3085___________________________

BiWM, 26, GEEK, SEEKS FAIRY PRINCE

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YOUNG CU, 21 &22, ISO ANOTHER

GWM ISO YOUNG MEN. I’M BLOND, gr. e y e s , 5 ’ 9 ” , 160 l b s ., b o y is h -lo o k in g . Y o u : 18-25 G W M , g o o d - lo o k in g , lo v e s s n u g g lin g , a n im a ls , h o m e tim e 81 p la y t im e . O n e -n ig h te r s O K . I S O L T R . 2980

w / w h o m t o s h a re m is c e lla n e o u s n e r d y p u r s u it s . M u s t b e N S / N D , a n d e n jo y f ilm , a r t , m u s ic , & life in g e n e r a l. 3 0 39

a r e a , 2 3 , b r n ./ b lu e , 6 ’ , 15 0 l b s ., a ttr a c t iv e . E n jo y s o u t d o o r s , o ld ie s , s c i-fi. N o o n e o v e r 2 5 . 30 53 _____________________

ISO A GWM BETWEEN 250-300 LBS.,

m o rn in g & d a y tim e ra u n c h , s w e a t 81 s t in k . 30 32__________________________________

YOUNG SEEKING YOUNG. BURLINGTON

Bi-CURIOUS WF, 36 , 5 ’io ”, 117 LBS.,

frolic w h ile h u b b y is t r a v e llin g . M u s t b e o p e n - m in d e d , lo v e life a n d c o n s id e r s p e n d in g t h e s u m m e r in m y m o u n t a in '•a b in . 2 9 7 4 _____________________________

I w o u ld lo v e t o h e a r fr o m y o u a ll!! I’ m s o e a s y t o g e t a l o n g w i t h , a n d l o v i n g , c a r in g , s w e e t , c h a r m in g , h o n e s t , fr ie n d ly a n d lo ts m o r e o f a p e r s o n . B o x 5 1 7

SAGE 81 HOMEBREW, SPIRIT 81 HANDr o lle d s m o k e s . M i n i m a li s t , a r t is t , g a r d e n e r , s k ie r , c o m p u t e r g r a p h ic s m a jo r I S O a g g r e s s iv e s o u ls fo r r o m p 81 r a v e in V T . W ild s . B o x 518 __________________

v a r i e d in t e r e s t s .- L o o k in g f o r a f u ll-f ig u r e d , a c tiv e t o m b o y t o s h a r e o u t d o o r a c tiv itie s , th e s e a s o n s / s m ile s . B o x 5 12

GWM, 40S, 6'l", 170 LBS., MASC,

MONTPELIER SWM, 42, 6’, 200 LBS.,

m u s e ., le a n , s p a r e , c o ll, e d u ., t r a v e lle d , b i k e , h i k e , s w im a h o lic , e x p e r t m e c h a n ic , h o n e s t , t r u s t i n g , k i n d , c o m p a s s io n a t e . I S O s a m e , a t h le t ic , N S , N D , s h a r e g o o d t im e s a n d b a d . B o x 5 0 8

lo v e s P r in e , R u s h , B r o w n , r e d h e a d s , O r ie n t a ls , w a l k s , c u d d l in g , b a s k e t b a l l , c o o k i n g , e B a y , a t t e n d in g a u c tio n s , c o m e d y , t h e a t e r , fa ir s , c r u is e s . M u s t h a v e d ir e c tio n & lik e t o d r iv e ! B o x 5 1 4

GENTLE MAN, DWM STARTING OVER, h o n e s t a n d c a rin g I S O m id d le - a g e la d y w h o w a n ts t o b e u n d e r s t o o d , r e s p e c t e d a n d lo v e d . E n jo y t h e o u t d o o r s a n d ta k in g tim e t o s m e ll t h e flo w e r s th is tim e a r o u n d . B o x 502___________________

YOU TOTED ME & MY BAG OFF I-89.

WELL-TRAINED, DOMESTICATED,

DW M , 2 9 , N D , b lu e - e y e d , h o p e le s s r o m a n tic I S O S / D P F w / c h ild re n fo r L T R . M y tr u e lo v e is o u t t h e r e , is it y o u ? B o x 5 0 6

B e e n t h i n k i n g s in c e t h e n t h a t y o u w e r e s o fin e . Te g u s t a n las m u je re s ? S p e c ific a lly th is o n e . M a k e m e b e lie v e in f a t e . B o x 5 2 3

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1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , V T 05402 o r f a x t o

8 02.8 65.1015. PLEASE CHECK APPROPRIATE CATEGORY. YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR BOX # a PASSCODE BY MAIL.

• F ir s t 30 w o r d s a r e F R E E w it h P e r s o n t o P e r s o n , a d d i t i o n a l w o r d s a r e 5 0 * e a c h x 4 w e e k s ($2 EACH EXTRA WORD).

• F r e e r e t r i e v a l 24 h o u r s a d a y t h r o u g h t h e p r i v a t e 800 #. (D e t a i l s w i l l b e m a i l e d t o y o u w h e n YOU PLACE YOUR AD.) IT’S SAFE, CONFIDENTIAL AND F U N !

How to respond to a persona —

•CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE ADS AND NOTE THEIR BOX NUMBERS. •C A L L 1-9 0 0 -3 70 -712 7 FROM A TOUCH-TONE PHONE. 1-900# BLOCK? C A L L 1-8 0 0 -7 10 -8 7 2 7 . i n t h e 4- d i g i t b o x # o f R E SP O N D TO , O R YOU M A Y ’B R O W SE A S P E C IF IC CA TEG O R Y .

•F o l l o w in g t h e v o ic e p r o m p t s , p u n c h

* " ----

FREE 30 W ORD PE R SO N A L AD

Confidential Information (WE N E E D TH IS TO R U N

Y O U R AD)

N am e Ad d ress.

C it y _____ Z ip

St a t e . p h o n e

Ple a s e ,

a v a l id a d d r e s s , a n d

ThV I N On c l l

P * Y # j» M

N P T J N V M T IO A T E OR ACCEPT ReSRONSIBUJ.Ty F ^ ^ L A ^ S ^ M A O E ^ m ^ N Y y M ^ V K R T Ig X M E N T . THI

• A

--K - s ---------1 - - *OR Tl__ R AGREES TO IN D EM N IFY AND

> DAMAGES RESULTIN G FROM PERSON TO PERSON ADVERTISEMENT

.... ,,

I VOICE MESSAGI

P e r s o n a d v e r t is e m e n t a n d v o ic e

J 'S k S I1

EARS OF AGE QE TO PLACE OR RESPOND TO A PERSON TO PERSON AD.

y o u

w is h

LETTERS ONLY

kTH E B O X # ON THE OUTSIDE AND PLACE IN ANOTHER EN V ELO PE WITH ■ $5 FOR EACH RESPONSE. ADDRESS TO : ^PERSONALS, C/O P .O .

Box

Four FREE weeks for: NINO OF RESPONDENTS IS SOLELY — ANY PERSON TO PERSON CLAIM S MADE AGAINST S E V E N FROM A LL COST. EXPENSES

a d

ds IN SECTION (3-DIGIT B O X #) CAN B E CONTACTED ^TH RO UGH THE MAIL. S EA L YOUR RESPONSE IN AN EN V ELO PE, WRITE

p l e a s e w r it e c l e a r l y .

lE-AD EXC EE D S 3 0 WORD S. S E N D $ . 5 0 PER EXTRA WORD X 4 WEEKS

the

•CALLS COST $1 .99 PER MINUTE. YOU MUST BE OVER 18 YEARS OLD.

W o m e n s e e k in g M en MEN SEEKING WOMEN W o m e n S e e k in g W o m e n m e n S e e k in g M en

may 1 9 ,1 9 9 9

1 16 4, BURLINGTON, V T 05402.

Two FREE weeks for: I SPY OTHER

□

CHECK H E R E IF Y O U ’ D P R E F E R

“ Letters o n l y ”

SEVEN DAYS

page 43

The Annual Bennington Potters North Factory Outlet Tent Sale 127 Church Street, Burlington,Vermont (802) 863-2221

C o m e one, com e all! Showtimes: Saturday & May 22, 1999 @ 10 am

Sunday May 23, 1999 @11 am

NSXRTH

potters ft %

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127 COLLEGE ST, DOWNTOWN BURLINGTON • 863-2221 OPEN MON.-FRI. 9:30-9 • SAT. 9:30-6 * SUN. 12-5 , "

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