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STATE PROMOTES ENERGY EFFICIENCY

question

What would be the title of your life story? It's t h e t i t l e of a n old John Fogerty s o n g , "Long as I Can S e e the Light," b e c a u s e no m a t t e r w h a t I do, I a l w a y s t r y to s e e t h e positive. — Tom Ayers M a r k e t i n g Director, Flynn Theatre Burlington

The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over t h e Lazy Dog. — J a s o n Cooley Bartender Burlington

T o p i c of C a n c e r :

Jim Higgins' letter of June 16 [Weekly Mail] provides me with an opportunity to talk about some of the very good work the state is doing in support of energy efficiency and renewable energy. The Department of Public Service has been a vigorous and successful promoter of cost-effective, societally beneficial energy efficiency. Our latest efforts have been to reassign the task of system-wide energy efficiency to a new statewide entity from the private sector. This innovative approach may put Vermont in the vanguard of states in promoting energy efficiency. We have enjoyed the governors support in this effort. I appreciate the support this idea received in the legislature this year, notably from the Natural Resources Committees of both chambers. We have also been interested in promoting renewable energy and more efficient generation from traditional fuels. The state is a partner in the U.S. Department of Energy's Million Solar Roof initiative, has been a leader in wood gasification, is pioneering developments in farm-based methane energy systems and has supported the GMP wind project in Searsburg. The state supported net metering legislation and the rules to implement it, which will enable customers to install small-scale renewable generation in their buildings. Higgins makes many skewed comments on these and other topics in his letter, including devaluing by omission the good work of Liz Bankowskiof Ben & Jerrys as co-chair of the governor's task force on Vermont's electricity future. I want to talk about just one more. Higgins recites an erroneous report that my department supports plans to build natural gas generation and distribution in southwestern Vermont. The Rutland Herald corrected this impression on June 5. To summarize, there is a lot of

potential benefit to having natural gas in a community, as Burlington-area residents and businesses know. The only way Rutland and Bennington will enjoy these same benefits is if power generators of sufficient size and fuel efficiency are built such that natural gas goes to these communities anyway. The permitting process, which has yet to begin, will reveal if the specific proposals now in the news will be acceptable. — Richard P. Sedano Commissioner, Vermont Dept. of Public Service Montpelier FILM QUIZ QUIBBLE In the interest of fair and fun word play, I want to point out two clues that did not live up to the quiz writer's [Rick Kisonak's] own game rules in the Film Quiz of 5/26/99. Although I submitted the correct answer for question #5, Meet Me in St. Louis, the clue did not at all mean "exactly the same thing as the original." Check your almanac — the capital of Missouri is Jefferson City, not St. Louis. (Of course, I doubt it's a hot spot for a rendezvous.) Question #8 really stumped this word warbler due to the inclusion of the word "deviants." And it was the only answer that, according to the author, I got wrong. If Neighbors was the answer you were looking for, shouldn't the clue simply have been The People Who Live Next Door? A combination film buff/wordsmith would take the clue "deviant" and come up with a more challenging and accurate answer — Mel Blanc's 1939 classic, Naughty Neighbors.

SHAPIRO REVIEW RIGHT-ON I want to commend Pamela Polston for her honesty and her right-on review of Andy Shapiro's final work left for us on this earth, Dig Deeper [Sound Advice, June 16]. She captured the very essence of the project, even while coming from a different "belief system." To me, the genius (and one of many miracles in its making) is that Andy recorded and helped mix much of Dig Deeper while the cancer was already doing its destructive work. And more astoundingly, many of the individual pieces of the CD — from the horns to the guitar to the percussion, even Tammy Fletcher's background vocals (done in one take in most cases) — were done miles apart from each other at different times after Andy had left this earth for Glory! Wow! — Steve Barone Waterbury Center SEND SESSIONS T O D.A.R.E. I would like to comment on the sentencing of Rivka Medow [Inside Track, June 16]. How in the world can this be the same Judge Sessions who sentenced Billy Greer and Steve Hutchins to 27 and 20 years for a crime of importing hash to Canada with Canadian backing? Billy and Steve pled guilty in Canada, served Canadian sentences and were nailed to the cross in America because they were... Americans! Cocaine kills, hashish heals. Someone should send Sessions to sit in on a sixth-grade D.A.R.E. class so he gets straight what's deadly drugs and what's not. Also, being a white chick artist myself, I'd like to offer two suggestions on her artwork. A name... "the missing men formation," in honor of Billy Greer and Steve Hutchins, Marty Scott and torn Cook, or maybe just clear the table and throw an empty pair of cowboy boots right dab in the center! Wouldn't that be SPECIAL?

To your credit — hats off for question #3. You didn't catch me, but I'm sure a lot of loyals submitted The Hunt for Red October in their haste. Next time I test my tongue with your twisters, I won't be such a stickler. So how 'bout it, do I win? — Tanya Lee Stone South Burlington

a minimum security facility for delivering hundreds of pounds of cocaine. It proves Sessions is a liar and a vindictive prick, and doesn't admit it, but knows there are ways around mandatory minimums. Unreal! — Ellen Raymond Starksboro GREER AND HUTCHINS N O T CUTE ENOUGH? The mandatory minimums didn't apply to Rivka Medow [Inside Track, June 16]. That's good. It proves Judge Sessions can vary from them. As a recovered cocaine addict, I know what a huge killer cocaine is. As a hemp advocate, I know hashish has no deaths worldwide, ever. That's the facts. How could Steve Hutchins and Billy Greer get enormous sentences from this same judge? It almost makes you draw the conclusion the men weren't cute enough! Good grief, set the Judge out to pasture. — Wolf Stevenson Hinesburg

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Power Failure?

W h e n the lights went out in Burlington Monday evening, the timing couldn't have been better as far as the proprietors of Red Square are concerned. T h e city council was in the process of turning out the lights on the popular watering hole across Church Street from City Hall. However, the infractions of order and decency cited by the new Joe M c C a r t h y of the Progressive Temperance Administration were not what you might think. T h e club wasn't on the governmental hot seat for serving underage patrons, or even over-serving older ones. Nope, it wasn't about bar fights, but rather, bar lights. T h e Red Square Inquisition, led by Progressive Assistant City Attorney Gene Bergman, was based on fire code violations like a locked exit door, non-illuminated "Exit" signs and having too many customers on the premises the evening of June 8. That's when the city-sponsored Discover Jazz Festival kicked off. D a m n festivals!

Whoa! Wait a minute. There might be something there. Come downtown and the first two brewskies are on Mayor Moonie. Nah. They'd have to open more bars to handle the crowds, and The Burlington Free Press editorial board would blow a gasket fighting that. Shucks. Sanders vs. Jeffords? — With his Washington press office pumping out three press releases a day and the Rutland Herald tunctioning as the principal print organ of his reelection campaign, you might think Republican Jim Jeffords will pull it o f f — "it" being dissuading Independent Congressman Bernie Sanders from taking him on in the 2000 U.S. Senate race. In the Sunday papers, two of the state's top political columnists, Jack H o f f m a n of the Rutland Herald/Times Argus and Christopher Graff of the Associated Press, both played the "seniority card," which Jeezum Jim's been playing for months. Isn't Vermont better off with Jim, a committee chairman, in the Senate and Bernie, a future sub-committee chairman, staying in the House?

With all the summer festivals instituted since the Progs took power 18 years ago, it's become "If you carry that argument pretty hard to even find an empty to its logical conclusion," said bar stool downtown during the Ol' Bernardo, "then nobody massive annual tourist invasions. new should ever run for office. Nonetheless, our sources say the People should never go up Red Square Inquisition is a done against an incumbent. All I deal. T h e councils mind is would have had to do would already made up, they say. T h e PETER be to tell all of my opponents verdict will be "guilty" and the since I was elected, 'Hey, I have more seniority punishment will be a stiff 10-day suspension of than you have. W h y are you running? It hurts the watering hole's liquor license. Vermont.' But all of a sudden Monday night, with Clean

Gene laying out the city's case in true Ken Starrlike fashion, the lights went out. And all of a sudden, everyone saw that City Halls Contois Auditorium isn't up to code either — no emergency lighting and no illuminated "Exit" signs. Tsk, tsk, tsk! D o as I say, not as I do time? Mayor Peter Clavelle and the enlightened city council felt perfectly comfortable operating in the dark. Despite the lack of light and the obvious safety concerns, the council kept going full-steam ahead in the unlit hall until the umps finally called the game after 40 minutes. Interesting. City Hall sources say Red Square's owners, Jack O'Brien and M a r k Gauthier, have an attitude problem. They say the proprietors have been ignoring city requests to fix their violations. T h e owners say the problems are fixed and the attitude problem is in City Hall. Monday evenings dens ex machina power failure postponed the Red Square Inquisition until July 12. But it also had another benefit — it prevented the council from passing the mayor's pet resolution that will bring, he says, "free parking" to downtown Burlington. "Free parking" sure sounds good, but look a little closer. All it will do is allow Mayor Clavelle to shout from the rooftop: "I brought you Filene's and now free parking! T h i n k what I could do as governor!" But Mayor Moonie's "free parking" comes with a hefty price tag. Look, folks, you don't have to be a professional cynic to know that in life, nothing's free. Not lunch, not love and not parking. In order to give out-of-towners two hours of free parking in city garages, the stiffs who park at the meters had better stash a roll of quarters in the glove box. That's because meter rates will jump a whopping 50 percent in Clavelle's new age of free parking! Instead of two quarters to cover one hour at the meters of Burlap, you'll need three. Also, the price of parking tickets will jump. And beware: Better get back to the crumbling parking garage within 120 minutes because you're gonna get whacked $1.50 for the third hour. Aren't you glad we're blessed with visionary leaders who come up with this crap? Free parking? > What's next, free beer?

FREYNE

"I don't think that particular argument makes a lot of sense," said Sanders. "There are a lot of reasons why people are good members of Congress or stronger members of Congress. Seniority is only one." Sunday evening Jeffords was on the WCAXT V news wearing a W C A X - T V baseball hat while walking two miles of the Long Trail in support of Ngawang Choephel, an imprisoned Tibetan filmmaker with Middlebury College ties. Half of the Herald's Monday front page was gobbled up with a photo of Jeezum Jim actually walking the trail. Wow! Given the published viewpoints of the papers editorial board and chief political writer, and the "Jim Can Do N o Wrong" slant in the news coverage of late, it may be high time the Rutland Herald, Jeezum Jim's hometown paper, formally registered as a "Reelect Jim Jeffords Political Action Committee." Media Notes — For over a week, Web-surfing news junkies have been chagrined to find WCAXT V has not been posting its news scripts at wcax.com. Rather than a change in policy at Vermont's top T V news operation, the "censorship" was caused by a hacker from north of the border. Peter Martin, general manager, informed Inside Track Monday their Web site "was hacked a week-and-a-half ago by a young man in Manitoba who seems to make a business of hacking sites and offering his services to recover and secure the site. We have declined his offer," said Martin, "and are in the final stages of rebuilding and, we hope, securing the site." T h e scripts were back Tuesday morning. Geez, isn't the Computer Age fun? Gay Marriage? — O n e of these Fridays, the Vermont Supreme Court will issue its opinion on same-sex marriage. This Friday would be entirely appropriate. It is, after all, Independence Day Weekend. But some court observers caution that two of Vermont's Supremes fancy moving up the career ladder to the federal court bench. Leading America into the brave new world of gay marriage would make James Morse and John Dooley targets for the wrath of Sen. Jesse Helms and the Immoral Minority. ®

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recorded some of the calls, as is legal in her h o m e state of Virginia, to show the c o m p a n y h a d violated federal law stipulating that telemarketers m u s t stop calling w h e n asked. She filed a $ 5 0 0 0 lawsuit against the company, b u t rather than apologize or piay, Sears filed a $ 1 0 , 0 0 0 countersuit charging wiretapping over the recordings. W h e n M e y hired an attorney, Sears changed its tune a n d d r o p p e d the suit for an undisclosed settlement.

Cardiff, Wales, p r o n o u n c e — — defendant Alan Rashid guilty, he sentenced the d e f e n d a n t to two years in jail. After the jury was dismissed, one m e m b e r of the panel lingered and asked an usher w h y Rashid was going to jail since he had been acquitted. An audiotape reply of the verdict revealed that as the foreman was reading the verdict, another juror coughed w h e n he said the word "not," so all the judge heard was "guilty." Rashid was b r o u g h t back to court and released after the jury confirmed its notguilty verdict. "I am very relieved," Rashid said, "as you would imagine."

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Had Enough

•A jury in Plainview, Texas, i n t e n d e d to give defendant Jesus P i n o n 10 years of probation, b u t they signed the w r o n g verdict form, sentencing P i n o n to 10 years in jail instead. Jurors didn't realize their mistake until they read a b o u t the case in the next day's newspaper. "We wondered if the judge changed our decision, or did the newspaper m a k e a mistake?" jury forew o m a n Stephanie Scott said. "It wasn't until we spoke with the judge that we realized w h a t we h a d d o n e . " • W h e n Judge Michael G i b b o n heard the jury foreman in

An 18-year-old student was sitting o n a bench in Odawara, Japan, talking on a cellular p h o n e w h e n the m a n next to her pulled out a cigarette lighter and set fire to her ponytail. T h e 46-year-old m a n told police he was "unnerved by her noisy voice." • A British Broadcasting C o r p . d o c u m e n t a r y cited two studies linking the use of cellular phones to brain tumors. T h e first study, by Swedish cancer specialist Lennart Hardell, concluded that the risk of brain t u m o r s increases 2.5 times w h e n cell phones are used. A second, as-yet unpublished

BY ROLAND SWEET

Litigation Nation A gang-land i n f o r m a n t sued N e w Z e a l a n d police for breach of contract, claiming he was u n d e r - c o m p e n s a t e d after providing i n f o r m a t i o n a b o u t d r u g a n d g u n crimes. Even t h o u g h a specific a m o u n t was never agreed o n , the man's lawyer, Paul Dale, said his client was promised e n o u g h m o n e y to set himself u p in a n e w life. Instead, Dale p o i n t e d o u t , the m a n "received only a b o u t $ 6 0 0 0 , a n d h e was left high a n d d r y a n d has since h a d to leave the c o u n t r y because of fear of retribution." T h e m a n is seeking $ 2 2 0 , 0 0 0 . • W h e n the city o f Battle Creek, M i c h i g a n , tore d o w n a n a b a n d o n e d house, they also heavily d a m a g e d a b o m b shelter next d o o r that the Reichert family built in 1958 at a cost of $ 8 0 , 0 0 0 . C l a i m i n g that the Reicherts n o w "have nowhere to go to survive" in case of nuclear attack or any o t h e r "type of situation," their attorney threatened to file a lawsuit if the city doesn't pay $ 6 million in damages. • W h e n Sears, R o e b u c k & C o . called for 16 m o n t h s trying to sell her siding, D i a n a M e y

study d o n e in the United States draws a clear link between cell p h o n e s and greater risk of developing a rare f o r m of brain tumor. George Carlo, the head of a research b o d y f u n d e d by the mobile p h o n e industry, said that in light of these results, "there could be a problem that needs to be looked at very, very carefully."

More Woes Termites were partially to blame for the crash of a tour bus carrying passengers f r o m N e w Orleans to a Mississippi gambling casino, according to Stephen Rue, a lawyer representing relatives of one of the 22 passengers killed. H e explained that the bus broke t h r o u g h a guard rail and plunged d o w n an e m b a n k m e n t , n o t i n g that if the oak posts hadn't been weakened by termites, the bus probably would have stayed o n the highway. • Desperate villagers in Sankaburi, T h a i l a n d , appealed to g o v e r n m e n t authorities for relief f r o m an invasion by millions of millipedes after fire, knives and sticks failed to stem the tide. I n d e p e n d e n t television station I T V reported that the multi-legged insects have covered h o m e s and worked their way into feed for the vil-

lage's animals.JPeaple^crrrr^ plained that they cannot sleep at night because the millipedes crawl into their ears, m o u t h s and noses.

Build It and They Will Come N o r t h Platte, Nebraska, a n n o u n c e d plans to spend $ 3 million to build the Golden Spike Tower, a 15-story structure shaped like a railroad spike to attract tourists w h o want to look at the the world's biggest and busiest rail-switching facility f r o m the tower's three observation decks. Moraine Taylor-Davis, w h o heads the c o u n t y development corporation p l a n n i n g the tower, told the Wall Street Journal, "People will k n o w us by this." • Ted Townsend, 50, w h o m a d e his f o r t u n e designing meat-packing e q u i p m e n t , a n n o u n c e d his intention to build the world's largest rain forest in Des Moines, Iowa, h o p i n g to attract up to two million visitors a year. Inside the forest, he plans an aquariu m , a science center, a theater and an elementary school. Gov. T o m Vilsack endorsed Townsend's project for sending "a strong and bold message that we're d o i n g s o m e t h i n g different — a n d better — than the rest of the country." ®

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C o m e celebrate our grand opening D Y I N G BREED: T h e Exquisite Corpse is living u p t o its name. In w h a t a m o u n t s to a m a j o r casualty for the visual arts scene in Burlington, the lobby gallery run by Jager DiPaola K e m p Design is going belly up as an exhibition space after four years of operation. Its final show is a retrospective entitled "Doornail" — as in "dead as a . . . " — that closes on the last day of July. "In the end, it became a financial issue," says D a v i d K e m p , w h o handles the business side of the graphic design enterprise. Between out-of-pocket expenses like insurance and shipping and staff time devoted to curating, p r o m o t i n g and hanging the shows, he estimates the c o m p a n y was spending a b o u t $ 1 4 , 0 0 0 per exhibit. "It became a question of how m u c h time and energy we could divert from our core business to w r a p p i n g this up as a m a j o r gallery," K e m p explains. "If we had a m a j o r grant or something, that would be a different story." F r o m its first show of naked group photographs by Spencer Tunic, Exquisite Corpse was a "different story." Curated first by

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warehouse on lower Maple Street, it had a decidedly urban feel to it. M a n y of the shows, too, were on the Soho side, with clever themes, gorgeous publicity graphics and lively openings. "It was one place to see some really adventurous work in town," says P a s c a l S p e n g e m a n n , w h o curates the Firehouse Gallery on C h u r c h Street. "This is a gallery that b r o u g h t artists like J e n n y Holzer and N a n c y Spero — big names — and effortlessly mixed t h e m in with the best of the locals: Gerritt Gollner,

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only downside was accessibility. T h e building was only open to the public d u r i n g business hours, no weekends. "Selfishly speaking, we viewed the gallery as s o m e t h i n g that sort of m a d e a statement a b o u t us," K e m p says, noting the public relations payoff was limited. Although the gallery has n o n p r o f i t status and a small b u t supportive membership, it never got serious a b o u t fundraising. "To get into that would'have required a t r e m e n d o u s a m o u n t of m a n a g e m e n t time," K e m p says. Using the same b o t t o m - l i n e logic, he also nixed the idea of replacing the gallery with a coffeeshop that would serve latte lovers in the neighborhood. Instead, the lobby will be converted into an inhouse library — with lots of pictures, of course.

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ALL WRITE NOW: Long before Chris Bohjalian had something

did for literary live-ins Eric Zencey and Kathryn Davis. The Academy of Arts and Letters selected Davis for a $ 5 0 0 0 prize given to "a progressive, original and experimental writer." O n the very same day, Zencey got a G u g g e n h e i m that will support research for his next book about a rare tree in Australia. His last arbor adventure was Virgin Forest: Meditations on History, Ecology and Culture . . . Radical environmentalist M i c h a e l Colby has hatched another issue of Wild Matters — a full year after the first — with the battle cry, "We're back." As usual, he comes o u t kicking with a self-congratulatory editorial promising to "put some substance behind the m y t h s of a greener, more progressive V e r m o n t . " N o one is spared, f r o m Bernie the Bomber to Vermont's "media monopolies." C o l b y takes some heat, t h o u g h , in n u m e r o u s letters to the editor, for not including bylines in the premiere issue. T h e self-described "taskmaster" comes clean, a d m i t t i n g all the unsigned copy is his. Media monopoly, indeed. ®

II • !S

i o a m - 8 p m a n d after t h e fireworks IS

Rachel Comey and then by Michelle W a l l a c e in a renovated

to smile about, it was Jim DeFilippi's m u g on the living section of the S u n d a y Free Press. T h e W i n o o s k i H i g h School English teacher wrote a weekly h u m o r c o l u m n for five years before he published his first novel, Blood Sugar, in 1993. Look for his second, Duck Alley, in August. It's a b o u t two boys growing up together — and apart — in a tough Long Island neighborhood. O n e blurb-to-be describes it as " A Separate Peace in blue collar" . . . Bohjalian has just finished his next novel, with a h o o k big enough to get h i m on yet another daytime talk show. "It's a love story between a 42-year-old heterosexual divorced female public school teacher in rural Vermont w h o falls madly in love with a transexual lesbian," he says of Trans-sister Radio. Research took him to the little town of Trinidad; Colorado, which Bohjalian claims is the "sex-change capitol of the world." Says Bohjalian, "It is almost too good to be fiction." Jerry Springer? . . . Sometimes snail mail is w o r t h waiting for. Like when the postman delivers his-and-her writing awards on the same day, as he

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summer readin<

King G a r b a g e By Terence Mickey

C o n n e r wanted to say that the entire idea was a waste of time, but instead he said nothing, hoping his brother would drop the whole thing. "You got other plans?" JimmyFrank asked. C o n n e r listened to the exhaust gurgle as his brother eased his foot forward, then back, teasing the gas pedal. H e wished he had other plans; but whatever excuse he could have made up disappeared on the coattails of the purple-black smoke drifting ahead of the cab, blending into the blank sky. "I don't k n o w yet," C o n n e r said. "Maybe."

o n n e r and his brother, J i m m y Frank, stopped at a c o n d e m n e d house on their way to the Fresh Kills landfill. Four m e n gutted o u t the inside with crowbars, sledgehammers a n d shovels, and as J i m m y - F r a n k backed u p the G r a n d p a beside a six-yarder, the heavy p o u n d i n g s o u n d e d like clapping. Painted on the f r o n t of the green d u m p ster were the yellow, stenciled words, MacCaffrey Private Carting, with their father's office p h o n e n u m b e r below. A cloak of flies covered the lid, a n d w h e n Jimmy-Frank lifted it a n d let it slam shut, they rose like a h u m m i n g constellation. C o n n e r helped his brother push the d u m p s t e r to the lip of the hopper, a n d then Jimmy-Frank lowered the winch, a n d he hooked the handle. T h e G r a n d p a w h i n e d as the D u m p s t e r rose f r o m the g r o u n d and six yards of rotten and new w o o d poured out; the load smelled b o t h musty and sweet. Repelled by w h a t attracted them, the flies landed on and then rose up f r o m the scraps of garbage mixed in with the w o o d — soda cans, onion slices a n d sheets of tin foil, webbed with dried cheese. His brother ran the blade, trapping half of them in the body of the G r a n d p a , while scaring the other half off. "Stop throwing garbage in with the demo," Jimmy-Frank yelled to the men working inside. T h e drywall dust sprinkled in his hair m a d e h i m look older than he was — forty-five, C o n n e r guessed, instead of thirty-three. His brother was bulky now; his muscle had turned to fat. But his frame still loomed. A m a n in a r m y fatigues and no shirt, holding a hardhat in his hand, walked o u t through a hole in the side of the house and n o d d e d . "Sorry a b o u t that," he said. "Didn't think it mattered m u c h . " Jimmy-Frank told C o n n e r to wait outside while he collected the money. H e was twelve years older than Conner, with no other brothers or sisters between t h e m , a n d Jimmy-Frank could act b o t h ways: as if there were no gap between them, or an insurmountable one. W h e n he wanted to be mean, he called C o n n e r "the afterthought." But he hadn't called h i m that once this summer. H e probably felt like one himself, C o n n e r t h o u g h t .

C o n n e r peeked into the hopper. Rotten w o o d lay crumbled on top of snapped, golden beams of new w o o d — a boring load. Despite the unbearable stench, C o n n e r preferred riding in the garbage truck for the o d d mix of refuse. N o t k n o w i n g w h a t he would d o at the end of the summer, he was preoccupied w i t h other people's lives, guessing at them, envying t h e m , constructing them o u t of the few scraps they left o n the curb or stuffed into one of his family's dumpsters. His sister Maggie, w h o had helped pay for his first CQllege. sakl she couldn't help h i m next year.

If he wanted to go back in the fall, he had to save money over the summer and work more hours during the school year, or take out another loan. Jimmy-Frank wanted him to work through the winter. "Take off a semester," he said. " T h e n go back." His brother had worked seventeen years for their father, starting in high school, first for the summers and weekends only, and then full-time after he failed the police exam twice. H e told C o n n e r that college would always be there, waiting for him. C o n n e r sat inside the Grandpa, with the door open and his feet up on the dashboard, waiting for his brother. T h e stripped cab had no air conditioner or radio and reeked of August. H e flicked his finger at a stack of old lotto tickets sticking out of the glove c o m p a r t m e n t like a pale tongue, tattooed with his brother's unlucky numbers. In his side view mirror he could see Jimmy-Frank, walking out of the condemned house. W i t h the waist of his Tshirt, his brother wiped the m u d caked o n t o the Mac of their family name; and with his knee, he brushed clean the p h o n e number. T h e y would lose the business by winter if they didn't pay the back taxes their father owed. If new customers didn't start banging down the door, as his brother liked to say. Before starting the Grandpa, Jimmy-Frank cleaned his ear out with a key on his key chain and then wiped it off on his pant leg. " W h a t do you think? D o we start writing today?" ...

"We can't wait on this," said Jimmy-Frank. "We got to start soon." T h e r e was a letter his brother wanted to write and send to the mayor. " I t you write it," he'd said, "it will sound better. You're the writer." Jimmy-Frank wanted to say that the national carting companies — the WalMarts of garbage, as he called them — had ruined their family's business. T h e y were everywhere, with new trucks and low prices, monopolizing the industry, squeezing the MacCaffrey's out after one hundred years in the business. T h e y were worse than the Mafia, his brother said. Jimmy-Frank would rather have had his truck torched or arm broken than be bought out by Waste Enterprise or Responsible Refuse. W i t h the Mafia, he could at least fight back. Before C o n n e r could shut his door, Jimmy-Frank pulled up to the end of the driveway. " W h y don't you take a shot at it first," C o n n e r suggested. " T h e n I can look at it next week." "You bailing on me?" "No. But I'm busy this week." "If you finish it early next week, we'll still be in good shape." H e grinned. "I'll send it off to the city, and then maybe some of the local papers. Stir things up a bit. Put ourselves back on the map." His brother was still high and optimistic from the night before. T h e guys at the bar had made Jimmy-Frank a cardboard crown, decorated with wet labels that they'd peeled off e m p t y beer bottles and stuck to a six-pack carton. Leo, the bartender, crowned him the King of N e w York's garbage, and then asked him how i t j e l t to be King. First Jimmy-Frank glanced at the bar, then at C o n n e r and the w i n d o w behind him, with people passing on H u d s o n Street, and then finally turned to Leo and said, "If only this weren't m y Kingdom."

immy-Frank waited for a break in traffic before pulling out of the driveway. Across the street from the c o n d e m n e d house was a vacant lot. A chain-link

fence, a N o D u m p i n g sign and cattails surrounded the cracked concrete. T h e y were somewhere in Linoleumville, Staten Island, C o n n e r knew, and soon the street names would change from Elm and Colonial to Industrial Loop and Chemical Lane. Soon there would be the stench of rotten egg and asphalt. T h e y passed a sign a n n o u n c i n g the exit for Fresh Kills, and at the sight of the h u m p s and peaks coming clear into view, C o n n e r rolled up his window and prepared to sweat for the next hour. "You get used to it," Jimmy-Frank said. "It doesn't smell as bad after awhile." " W h a t if I don't w a n t to get used to it?" "If you come o u t here day after day, you can't help it." Opposite the entrance to Fresh Kills, on the other side of the four-lane highway, a billboard read, "Fight Dirty." A trash can stood at the center of the sign, like a bottle of Absolut. Along the b o t t o m , in bold letters, were the words " D O N ' T L I T T E R . " T h e hills behind the billboard, covered with splotches of sickly grass, marked the oldest part of the landfill. If his brother had not told him, C o n n e r would never have guessed that there was garbage buried beneath — papers and appliances from the '40s and '50s, when the site first opened. T h a t winter the city would close Fresh Kills. T h e landfill had been scheduled to close in October, b u t since they hadn't decided yet where to d u m p the city's garbage, they extended the deadline until December. Two years ago no one said a word about the place, but now it was all anyone talked about.

smiled back at him and then shooed him toward the weigh-in scales. "Have you looked for another job?" C o n n e r asked. " W h e n do I have time?" Jimmy-Frank asked. "If things don't work out, don't you have a back-up plan?" "I've never had a back-up plan. W h a t should be different now? Things will work out." After weighing in the Grandpa, they followed an overloaded wagon to the open face of the landfill. T h e tarp covering the load had come u n d o n e at one corner and flapped viscously. T h a t morning they'd picked up a tricycle, three blackboards from a Catholic grammar school, ' two iron radiators and four yards of drywall and concrete from a gutted-out restaurant. Jimmy-Frank handed C o n n e r the weigh-in receipt. T h e ticket said they were hauling two tonss C o n n e r wondered what kind of job his brother would want. After one of his fights with their father, JimmyFrank took on odd jobs for six months. Maggie said he was a secudty guard for nine weeks, a garage attendant

[ His brother sometimes

C o n n e r t h o u g h t his sister, almost twenty years older than him, sounded like their father, if their father could have said more than two words to h i m , if he could have raised his voice once in awhile and acted like he cared what happened. C o n n e r stuffed the receipt into his pocket and stared out of his window. In the flat marsh that still surrounded the base of the landfill, pools of silver water reflected the sun, like a dozen jigsaw shapes tucked away here and there in the swaying reeds and cattails. O n a clear day, standing on the open face of the landfill, you could see part of the N e w Jersey Turnpike, the Goethals, Verrazano and Bayonne bridges, the m o u t h of the H u d s o n River and M a n h a t t a n . His brother had once told him that 3 3 percent of M a n h a t t a n had been built on "made land" — compacted refuse fastened to the jagged edges of the city like patchwork. H e wondered now if the city could use the twelve thousand tons of refuse collected each day to build another borough or state. A place more shameful to say you lived in than Long Island or N e w Jersey. M a n m a d e foothills, covered with plastic tarp and soil, rose on either side of the road to the open face. T h e y looked manicured, C o n n e r thought, even combed in some places, awaiting seedlings and sun. W h e r e patches of yellowed grass grew, the landfill looked like a golf course in late winter, except a black, oily liquid seeped out through the soil and plastic and poured down the sides like syrup. H i t t i n g pothole after pothole, the wagon ahead of them pitched loose scraps up into the air, and Jimmy-Frank worked hard, steering right, then left, trying to avoid the toilet seats, h u b caps and ripped garbage bags that fell o n t o the road in front of them.

talked fanatically a b o u t t h e j

His brother sometimes talked fanatically about the landfill, as if the site were some kind of temple, foretelling the city's future and now, somehow, his

1 landfill, as if the site w e r e

[ some kind of ternf>le, f o r e -

After their father's recent heart attack, the back office of MacCaffrey Private Carting, the space their father had turned into his h o m e after their mother's death — the small refrigerator, the bathroom and couch, his dry-cleaned clothes hanging on an open file cabinet drawer — became Jimmy-Frank's domain overnight. H e spread o u t on their fathers desk all the articles on Fresh Kills that he had cut out of the newspapers. H e had arranged them on the glass-top and highlighted words, phrases and sentences only he knew the importance of. It was then that he"Viiscovered the notices from the city that their father had -hidden^.-

now, somehow, his o w n .

C o n n e r knew they had outlived the Mafia only because his family had never been a threat. Their father owned four trucks — the demo, garbage, cardboard and roll-off, each named after one of his dead relatives: his sister, father, grandmother and grandfather. Each was on the same last leg, and as unstable as their father now was, lying in the hospital since June. Their father had always been an outright liar. H e once said that their great-grandfather, Francis MacCaffrey, had refused to sell the parking lot he owned when the city wanted to build the Holland Tunnel. "We moved the Holland-fucking-Tunnel," Jimmy-Frank would tell people. But C o n n e r could never get as excited as his brother, and instead pictured a bulky and bearded man, swatting flies at his desk, not knowing a g o d d a m n thing about the Holland Tunnel and too set in his ways to care. C o n n e r thought Jimmy-Frank's letter should say that their father had run the business into the ground. Before his brother had discovered the back taxes, C o n n e r had heard him complain. "If I ran this place," Jimmy-Frank would say...if he had handled this or was in charge of that. But w h o would they send that letter to? T h e mayor? Their father? And w h a t good would that do? Even if he recovered and came back to work, their father wouldn't say a word. C o n n e r didn't feel like he knew the man or ever would. H e was nine when their m o t h e r died and he went to live with his sister, when their father sold the house and moved into the office he rarely left.

t the entrance to Fresh Kills, a pudgy w o m a n with pimples sat in a s m a l t narrow booth and directed trucks toward the weigh-in scales. Jimmy-Frank rolled d o w n his window, and the cab sucked in the awful stench. "I hear they're giving you another two months." T h e w o m a n smiled. "I'm not worried about this place closing," she said. "I figure I'll be working here until they run out of garbage. By then they'll have filled in the H u d s o n , taken over N e w Jersey, and I'll be retired." " T h e y got any openings?" J i m m y - F r a n k asked, smiling. "You don't w a n t to work here, honey." T h e w o m a n

for a m o n t h and a construction worker on and off in between. But he left each job, complaining that nobody liked him, and that they treated h i m u n f a i r ^ . H i s brother couldn't e-mail, fax or type* H ^ h a d r a ^ h ^ i c ^ ' l n t e f f i ^ ^ , ^ gence, as worn and rusty now as the machinery he had learned to master at eighteen. ; Before C o n n e r left work each day, he would see his brother sitting at their father's desk, fidgeting with the air conditioner that went on and off at whim, trying to figure out a way to pay the city back, or at least stall them. T h e n , after riding the train for a half-hour to his sister's, C o n n e r would grab the towel Maggie left hanging for him on the garage door, take his boots and pants off, wrap the towel around his waist and walk quietly through the house and into the shower before his sister could ask how Jimmy-Frank was. She would tell him that it wasn't wrong to want to go back to school. She had helped him so he would have choices. "Jimmy-Frank has already made his choices," she would say.

Winning Words Congratulations to Terence Mickey of Johnson for taking top honors in the third annual Seven Days Emerging Writers competition, cosponsored and underwritten this year by the University of Vermont's Summer Writing Program. His story "King Garbage" won out — narrowly — over first runner-up Shannon Williams, a Burlington writer whose story "Hell or High Water" is also published in this issue. A very close third place went to another Burlington scribe, Chris Hanna, for his parable-style story, "Breath of India." All three are completely unique and represent the quality and diversity of this years entrants. For his efforts, Mickey has won a $250 prize provided by the Summer Writing Program. Our thanks to Daniel Lusk, director of the program and a great believer in the power of words. ^ We'd like to thank everyone who

Jimmy-Frank leaned into C o n n e r and pointed to a row of thin P V C pipes poking through the surface of the landfill, then bowing and entering the ground again. "Know w h a t those are?" h e asked. : C o n n e r shook his head, and Jimmy-Frank shifted in his seat, breathed heavy and pointed to the gutter at the edge of the roadside. "See that black shit coming up from the ground?" Glazed bubbles formed on the surface and then popped." ; ^ r- • ' .Conner n o d d e d . "That's leachate. That's what's in those pipes." C o n n e r was amazed by his brother's pride, as if this knowledge were one of the benefits of coming here. H e stared across the A r t h u r Kill, the river that separated Fresh Kills from N e w Jersey, to where refineries and factories lined the water's edge, where a constant milky smoke loomed over production in Cateret. A graveyard of halfsunk ships, their hulls green with algae and orange and pockmarked from rust, clogged the shallow cove at the foot of the landfill. T h e river seemed unnecessary. W h a t had been made four or five years earlier, on the other side — plastic film cases, a l u m i n u m cans, rubber stoppers — ended up here, if not this week then the next. G o d ,

C o n t i n u e d on p a g e 1 0

shared their fiction — and their aspirations — with us this year. Write on. Last but not least, we extend a warm thanks to those whose collective works remain an inspiration to us all — our esteemed judges: • Philip Baruth teaches English at the University of Vermont. He's written two novels and a selection of short stories. His most recent book is The Dream of the White Village, a series of connected stories set in Burlington, just issued in paperback. H e also does commentary on Vermont Public Radio. • When she's not making millions writing for Seven Days, launching losing bids for public office or checking her e-mail, Ruth Horowitz is a mildmannered children's author who lives in Burlington. Her forthcoming tides are Crab Moon and Break- ' Bug Lab. • David Huddle is an English tea. at the University of Vermont, a n ist and poet. A new novel, Tf. a Million Years, and a book o f p o

Summer Lake: New

a^S&clmk-.

will both be published this fall. • Tom Paine is a short-story writer based in Charlotte, and a teacher at Middlebury College. Named one of the top "up-and-coming" writers in

the U.S. by the Village Voice Literary Supplement editors, he has a collection of stories, Scar Vegas, due out in January from Harcourt Brace. • Abigail Stone is a Middlebury-based writer whose last book was Recipes From the Dump. She is working on a new novel called Old War Wounds. • Christopher Shaw is a forme

of Adirondack Life.Y appeared in New Eng

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King Garbage

t h i n g I have to fix." H e p o i n t e d to the cracked w i n d shield. " T h a t ' s money."

Continued from page 9

W h e n J i m m y - F r a n k o p e n e d the glove c o m p a r t m e n t , his stack of old lotto tickets fell to the floor. " C h e c k

there's so m u c h of it, C o n n e r said to himself. H e couldn't

u n d e r y o u r seat, " he told C o n n e r .

m a k e o u t any individual thing. Everything blurred.

C o n n e r h a n d e d his b r o t h e r a pen a n d the c r u m b l e d

Everything mingled together because everything had to.

weigh-in receipt f r o m his pocket. " W h a t ' s the point,"

Because there was n o choice.

C o n n e r said. " N o b o d y gives a fuck."

"I was t h i n k i n g that if you get tired of Maggie's, you could stay w i t h me," J i m m y - F r a n k said. "Until

"I give a fuck. You don't. N o b o d y does," J i m m y - F r a n k said. " B u t I do."

December. O r January. W h a t e v e r you decide."

T h e w a g o n h a d s t o p p e d a b o u t 4 0 yards ahead. T h e

"I m i g h t n o t stay at all."

driver a n d his helper were stretching the tarp over the

" W h a t d o you mean?"

load a n d tying the corners d o w n . J i m m y - F r a n k stuffed

"I m i g h t go back to school," C o n n e r said.

the pen a n d paper into his pocket a n d ran towards t h e m .

"I t h o u g h t Maggie couldn't help you."

C o n n e r w a t c h e d f r o m the cab. H e worried a b o u t

"She can't."

w h a t his b r o t h e r m i g h t do.

"You little shit." J i m m y - F r a n k s l a m m e d the dashboard with his fist. " W h e n were you going to tell me?"

W i t h his h a n d s as a makeshift m e g a p h o n e , J i m m y Frank yelled u p to the driver. T h e m a n wore orange ear-

"I d i d n ' t . . . I m i g h t not even be able to p u l j j t off. I

muffs, clear plastic goggles, a green j u m p s u i t a n d leather

don't k n o w yet."

gloves. C o m p e t i n g with the r u n n i n g engine, J i m m y -

J i m m y - F r a n k shifted, gave the truck more gas, a n d

Frank waved his h a n d s a n d yelled again. T h i s time the

they moved closer b e h i n d the wagon ahead. T h e tarp had

m a n looked d o w n at h i m a n d shrugged. J i m m y - F r a n k

c o m e completely u n d o n e n o w in the back, and

m o t i o n e d for h i m to take off his ear-muffs, a n d the m a n

flapped

like a cape. J i m m y - F r a n k jerked the wheel, t h r o w i n g

finished

C o n n e r into the door.

then stepped off the side of the truck.

tying the tarp d o w n , removed his ear-muffs and

C o n n e r started to apologize as he reached to flip

T h e y talked a n d J i m m y - F r a n k p o i n t e d to the

d o w n the visor to block o u t the sun suddenly b l i n d i n g

G r a n d p a . T h e n the driver climbed into the cab. As

h i m . B u t before he could d o either, a loud slap s t u n n e d

J i m m y - F r a n k waved his hands, the wagon started moving.

the cab.

H e p u n c h e d the cab d o o r a n d kicked the wheel twice,

A w e b of cracks snaked across the windshield. " W h a t

b u t the wagon only sped up.

the fuck?" J i m m y - F r a n k said a n d stopped the truck, b u t

J i m m y - F r a n k limped back to the G r a n d p a a n d h a n d -

the w a g o n c o n t i n u e d . H e climbed o n t o the h o o d of the

ed C o n n e r the pen a n d receipt. T h e knuckles on his right

G r a n d p a a n d looked for w h a t had cracked the^glass. H e

h a n d were bloody; they h a d moved back some, closer

lifted the wipers, b u t f o u n d n o t h i n g , then inspected the

toward his wrist.

windshield again. Back in the cab, he searched on t o p of

"You broke your h a n d , " C o n n e r said.

the dashboard.

"I'm fine. It's not b r o k e n . "

" W h a t are you looking for?" C o n n e r asked.

"You sure?"

"A pen and paper," J i m m y - F r a n k said. " C h e c k the

"I'm fine." J i m m y - F r a n k shifted with his left h a n d

glove c o m p a r t m e n t . "

a n d c o n t i n u e d toward the o p e n face.

" W h a t d o you need a pen a n d paper for?"

C o n n e r h a n d e d the T-shirt d r a p e d over his seat to

"So 1 can get t h a t fuckhead's info."

J i m m y - F r a n k . " W r a p this a r o u n d it."

"You're going to chase him?"

J i m m y - F r a n k w r a p p e d the shirt a r o u n d his h a n d until

"I can't see a f u c k i n g t h i n g now. A n d that's o n e m o r e

it looked like the end of a Q - t i p .

Friday July 2nd 5-8

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" W h a t happened?" C o n n e r asked. Jimmy-Frank gripped the steering wheel with his good hand as he turned left, toward the open face, where private carters d u m p e d ; and the wagon, hauling public refuse, bared right over a m o u n d and was gone. "It was an accident," C o n n e r said, and waited for Jimmy-Frank to say something. But his brother stared ahead, as if he'd never driven this route before and had to concentrate and make sure he went where they were supposed to go. C o n n e r would write the letter for his brother. Tonight he would describe the national carting companies — Waste Enterprise and Responsible Refuse — as the m o n sters his brother dreamed they were. H e would make them o m i n o u s and threatening, but something JimmyFrank could still stand up to and fight against. H e would have to. H e had seen their father in the hospital, the tubes in a complicated web beside his bed, his cheeks caved in, his eyes watery and dazed. T h e r e was nothing left in the man for his brother to fight. C o n n e r unfolded the crumbled weigh-in receipt, smeared with his brother's blood, and read w h a t JimmyFrank had written: the license plate number, the time and a brief description of the m a n — tall, thin, scruff on face, brown eyes. H e wondered if this were enough information, if anyone could recognize someone by what little his brother had written down. At the open face, Jimmy-Frank parked the G r a n d p a beside a wall of garbage rising like a wave, with bathtubs, refrigerators and kitchen sinks bobbing on the surface. He unwrapped the towel and shook out his hand, as if that motion alone could s o m e h o w bring his limp fingers back to life. But instead he moaned. "Don't worry," C o n n e r said and climbed out of the cab. "I'll do this." His brother leaned across the seat, as if he was going to protest, but he only waved his swollen hand and then turned away. N o t wanting to slam his door shut, C o n n e r left it open an inch. Walking from the cab to the hopper, he felt the ground shake and wobble beneath him. N o support beams or concrete foundation held him up, only.a sprawling, a m o r p h o u s jelly-like blob, j u n k piled upon junk, vibrating from the garbage trucks, compactors and

bulldozers that rattled over the surface. He stretched the collar of his T-shirt up and over his nose and tried not to breathe. H e worried about rats; they darted in and out of the rubbish heaps. As he released" the hopper blade, the Grandpa rocked from side to side, as if suddenly at sea. Slouched in his seat, with his arm dangling out the window, Jimmy-Frank drifted. C o n n e r unhinged the hopper, and a pool of hopper juice formed at his feet.

ered head to toe in construction dust. ' Tv As he lowered and locked the hopper m place,, he looked up and saw Jimmy-Frank staring at h i m in the side view mirror. T h e trucks tilted eye framed and reflected his brothers solemn face, and C o n n e r waved, but Jimmy-Frank didn't see him. T h e construction dust on his hair, face and clothes had turned C o n n e r into his family's afterthought — h a u n t i n g the periphery, orphaned in Staten Island, as forgotten as the refuse d u m p e d at his feet. H e turned to see what was behind him and peered into the distance for w h a t possessed his brother.

Conner unfolded the crumbled w e i q h - i n receipt, smeared w i t h his

Snaking up the H u d s o n , the inkblot of concrete looked small f r o m here, and a net of flapping seagulls, cackling and cawing, disturbed his view. But there it was, the island of M a n h a t t a n , shaped like a crooked finger, pointing to Fresh Kills, the m o u n t a i n of refuse rising, with a 285 foot peak, a mass, estimated at 100 million tons, a volume, estimated at 2.9 billion cubic feet, fifty times the size of the Temple of the Sun at Teotihuacan, standing at the center of Staten Island like a testament to the times, the city's past and possible future, a puzzle with pieces that his brother and he would somehow make fit. ®

brotheis blood, and read w h a t Jimmv~Frank had written: the

license plate number, the time a n d a brief descr iption of the m a n — | thin, scruf / on face, bro wn As he worked the gears at the side of the Grandpa, the hydraulic p u m p s sighed, pushed the compactor blade forward, and tfTe truck emptied itself. In compacted clumps, the tricycle, blackboards, radiator and chunks of drywall rolled onto the ground, intact but beat up, still recognizable on the blanket of indiscernible waste that had become the ground. T h e open hopper looked like a m o u t h , yawning. T h e truck breathed fog, and an insignificant number of flies rushed out, with their wings reflecting light. After the air cleared, C o n n e r f o u n d himself cov-

eyeZ^M

Terence Mickey is a Saint Michael's College graduate now living in Johnson and employed as a grant writer at the Vermont Studio Center. He is working on a novel, King Garbage. He

received his MA in Creative Writingfrom Hollins University.

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before. M o m hadn't told me that part. She tried to sell me on the big windows, as if they'd make up for the rest of the place. I was especially excited about the UFBs. Unidentified Foul Blotches had colonized the rotting skeleton of the apartment before we'd even had a chance. T h e windows didn't have screens and we wouldn't be able to afford them. W h e n you're doomed to grow up in West Palm, you learn that's the same as not opening at all. Maybe Mom could survive stewing in her own juices, but how's an artist supposed to create, hermetically sealed into an alleged "efficiency?" It's like being swallowed by a whale with heartburn. To top it off, I started my period. My very first one. 1 was later than everyone else and thought I'd been saved from the demented sproutings of puberty. I didn't have anything and wasn't about to spend the afternoon excavating Mom's plugs from one of her 25 unlabeled boxes. And there were only a few babysitting bucks left from the Cassidy brats, who inked an entire Navy battalion on my sneakers in purple marker. I stuffed Kleenex in my underwear and pretended nothing had happened. I needed one of Mom's baby-girl's-growing-up scenes about as much as 1 needed a coupon to the tanning salon. A lumpy man in a white Tshirt sat on the porch next door. He had some funny thing clasped around his neck, like C3PO's cousin. He didn't even wave to us, just watched us unpack the car. Nor a single kid in sight. T h e only signs of life were the guy ignoring us on his porch and an old lady across the street shucking corn. What, did I fall asleep on the flight to planet Geriatric? Clearly, the only fun they had in this neighborhood was sitting around waiting for the toilet paper roll to get empty. I asked Mom if we had cable and she said no. "That's perfect! You realize we're in hell, don't you?" "Don't use the word hell, honey, it's vulgar. Say 'underworld' or something."

Hellor High. Water

In the first ten minutes after we got the boxes o u t of the car, she made a b o u t ten thousand p h o n e calls. I had Fritos and two Cokes for lunch, then m a d e a list of better words for hell than "underworld": interminable purgatory, gory devouring abyss, diseased guts of the universe. She didn't notice. T h e list or the lunch. Unpacking didn't interest her. She just got her lemons out, put on her bikini, and disappeared into the b a t h r o o m . She left her little gross armpit hairs all over the sink. I don't k n o w w h y she bothered. N o one she'd ever met on the beach had been anything but a problem. That's why we ended up here.

" W h y don't you c o m e with me?" she asked, filling her neon bag. People, Dr. Pepper, baby oil, Walkman. "You can write d o w n there; I'll leave you alone." Sure. Sand, heat and the surefire Drooling O l d G u y magnet: M o m u n d o i n g her strap to make sure every millimeter gets fried. Sounds like the Garden of Eden. I told her I hated the beach and was going to sit at our so-called home and rot. "If I can find a chair under all this stuff." She grabbed m y face and said, "Lighten up, darling. It's a new day." T h e n she left a big pink kiss mark on m y cheek a n d said she'd be h o m e before dark. I rode m y bike to the corner and spent five of m y last ten dollars on pads. I came back, dived into Anais N i n a n d tried to keep from putrefying. I wasn't a b o u t the go digging for the fan. If she came back and f o u n d m y dead and abscessing body, it would serve her right.

ass because it's vulgar and she should say "rear end" instead. Jake and Sidney broke up laughing, b u t M o m just went to the kitchen. Honestly, her M a d o n n a impersonation should just be put out of its misery. W e watched the game. I knew J o h n Elway, his n u m b e r and all. Jake said, "You're a sporty kid," then Sid said, "Yeah, you outta do something in sports, that's what I think." H e must have been reading my mind, because I had just started thinking about becoming a sportswriter instead of a novelist. I told Sid I was going to cover the soccer games in the school paper for the rest of the spring. H e let me have a drink from his beer to toast my future success.

M o m came in with guacamole and said, "My beautiful girl is already a success!" T h e n , you wouldn't believe it, she started petting my head, trying to get the snarl out of the back. Sid took the beer away and M o m handed m e Hawaiian Punch in a

I could see Sid looking sideways at her boobs. Sneaking a look at my mom's boobs! A couple of perfectly good men turned into slathering ogres at the mere shift of some milkers. I'm never growing those awful things. Never. All the ninth-graders stuffing training bras with shoulder pads, just to make boys drag their knuckles down the hall after them. I'll sleep on my stomach every night. If that doesn't work, I'll use duct tape. T h e game was close, but I couldn't take it anymore. I was halfway through the door when M o m threw her where-and-when interrogation at me. " O u t , " I said. "And never." "Don't you need a sleeping

the fridge. I'm going where people wear plaid and chop their own w o o d and can see their breath. I'm going to Quebec. T h e y speak French and English and eat cheese and bread and wine for lunch and they don't even have

I'm never growing those awful things. Never. All the ninth-graders stuffing training bras with shoulder pads, just to mane ooy ? drag their knuckles down the hall after, them. I'll sleep on my stomach every night If that doesn't work, I'll use duct taoe 0

ake came by that night with a six-pack of Mickey's BigM o u t h . H e b r o u g h t his friend Sidney, w h o did a trick where he guessed the card I had. Jack of Spades â&#x20AC;&#x201D; he was right. I told him I wanted to k n o w the trick, b u t he said, v It's n o t a trick, it's magic." Right. Like they're nor the same thing.

Lion King cup. Beautiful girl? Whatever. It was first and ten, the Broncos were ahead, I was about to tell Sid all about the story I wrote where this quarterback ends u p taking ballet lessons, and here comes M o m , Hakuna Matata in hand, playing with my hair. I bet John Elway doesn't care about knots. A n d Anais N i n certainly never drank Hawaiian Punch.

Jake kissed M o m , b u t she turned her cheek and told him to kiss her ass. I said she should come u p with a better w o r d for

Jake got M o m on his lap, all grinning. "I k n o w w h o the beautiful girl around here is. H u h , baby? W h e n you gonna realize

I'm the steak for your potatoes?" M o m got up and adjusted her bra. Her bra! Like she didn't even realize she was doing it. "Steak, huh?" she said to him. "Okay, you bring me a filet mignon every day for a week. And some kind of guarantee you didn't hijack the truck. T h e n we'll talk."

bag or something?" T h e y all cracked up at that one. I made sure my sneaker left a mark on the door.

t's not hard to get a ride north. Mom's done it. Even she says a girl can't stay in one place forever. Besides, there's nothing left to write about. White-haired ladies in hats that look like they were made out of old sofas? M e n in little Speedos with their dinosaur skin sagging o u t over the tops? Might as well write a b o u t an orange rotting in

Cap'n C r u n c h . Everyone gets health care, even artists like me, so you don't have to use your own money for tampons. I'll find some poor, infertile couple who'll invite me in to stay and write like Robert Frost about snow and trees. O r about hockey. I'm open. O u r new place was only four blocks from the strip. I figured I'd find a gentle old lady heading up to visit her family in Maine, but it looked like I was out of luck. Imbeciles everywhere. Cars with b u m p - b u m p stereos, speakers all built up in back. I heard Jake call them spick-woofers

" H e l l or High Water" is the first runner-up in the 1 9 9 9 Seven Days-MM Summer Writing Program Emerging Writers competition.

once, but Jake has more to say than anyone wants to hear. Just as m a n y white boys have them as the Latin guys. Haitians, too. At dark, they're all the same. Like bats o u t feeding, sending sonar signals, only instead of food, they're tracking boobs. I swear on my writing hand, I'm wearing extra-large T-shirts until I die. S o m e o n e h o n k e d at me and h o o t e d o u t the window, a n d I remembered h o w Felix Carrera had cornered me at my locker. I was trying to read this Elizabeth Barrett Browning poem before I had to go decay in Geometry. H e pinned me to the wall, told m e I h a d to learn to fight. " I t s for your own good, Andy!" he hollered in m y face. " O l d men will follow you home! They'll chain you in the basement! You'll have to watch t h e m dance in their wives' underwear." H e was gnashing his big, mossy teeth. "They'll say, 'Aren't

I a pretty little thing.? And make you take pictures! You gotta fighA" H e was about to get a knee in his precious privates, b u t Mrs. Alvarez came and screeched, "You two, quit that." As if I'd d o n e anything to anyone! I could see Flanagan s on- the corner. Mom's favorite place. I wanted to get to the highway, but there was a n o t h e r h o n k a n d this time s o m e guy yelling, "Hey, v c'mere! I need a girlfriend!" Yeah, tell m e s o m e t h i n g I don't know. 1*H' ; ducked into Flanagans before t h e ;

Continued on page 42

summer

. Burlington's C o u r t H o u s e Plaza parking H a l l o c k spends his t i m e tirelessly journey., r / ' » t h r o u g h t o m e s delving i n t o the nature of the T h o u g h it w o u l d be hard to m a t c h the c o m p o n e n t displayed by either of these rapacious aders, w e were glad to find so m a n y folks happily irusing pages. Readers, w e discovered, fall into veral categories. Systematic bibliophiles w o r k

s r

ieir w a y t h r o u g h titles by a single author, or o n a whatever h a p p e n s to fall into their laps. Guiltdriven readers -

most often librarians -

are

q u i c k to c o m e u p w i t h works they feel they ought to read b u t won't, while their guilt-free peers have n o such qualms. Librarians are also, appropriately e n o u g h , anxious to provide reading r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s ; m o s t of

A survey of occupational readers turns up books in booths and other strange places

t h e parking a t t e n d a n t s w e approached showed a s t u n n i n g willingness to reveal t h e often-surprising w o r l d s in those little glass b o o t h s — or at least w i t h i n their heads while they're sitting there. H e r e w i t h , the results of o u r survey:

Lorrie Colburn Circulation Chief, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington What are you reading now? Six books, including An Instance of the Finger Post, by Iain Pears, The Mirror, by Lynn Freed and - surprise, surprise — For the Love of Books, by Ronald Schwartz. What's on your summer reading list? An Equal Music, by Vikram Seth, Amy and Isabel, by Elizabeth Strout, and The Night Inspector, by Frederick Busch.

How do you decide what to read nextt "I read the book reviews in The Washington Post, The London Times, The New York Times, Publishers Weekly and Booklist, and I listen to my patrons." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? The complete works of Trollope. If you could arrange a love match between the main character in two books, whom would you fix up? Father Tim from Jan Karon's Mitford series and Bridget Jones from The Bridget Jones Diary. "She could use some counseling, and he needs some excitement."

Josh Bridgeman Cherry Street Parking Lot Attendant/ Film Production Student at Burlington College/Lyricist for Construction Joe, Burlington What are you reading now? Post-modern science-fiction by J.G. Ballard, the author of Crash. What's on your summer reading list? Stuff by James Ellroy. How do you decide what to read next? "I just read whatever interests me." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? None. I've done a lot of reading

J0b

Titles

le subject, while serendipitous philobiblists

here. I even read The Bible. What's your favorite thing to read that's not a book? "Comic books and poems. If I'm going to read something, it has to be either cheesy or great."

Scott Schaffer Reference Librarian, Bailey/Howe University of Vermont, Burlington What are you reading now? Crime in the Neighborhood, by Suzanne Bern, and African-Americans and Jews in the Twentieth Century: Studies in Convergence and Conflict, edited by V. P. Franklin. What's on your summer reading list?

Sweet Chaos: The Grateful Dead's American Adventure, by Carol C. Brightman. How do you decide what to read next? "I check the new-book shelf, or read things other people mention to me." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? Moby Dick. "I was supposed to read it in college and blew it off." Did your professor think you read it? "Probably not. I got a D." Whom would you like to have read to you? Noam Chomsky.

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Division Street, by Studs Terkel. What's on your summer reading Nothing in particular. How do you decide what to read next? "I shop at the library's 'for sale' rack." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? There is none. What's the strangest thing you've ever usedfor a bookmark? "The day I begin a new book, I clip out a piece of the newspaper with the date on it. That way, I can tell how quickly I'm reading."

Penny Pillsbury Library Director, Brownell Library Essex Junction

Jesse Sargent

Canterbury Tales, by Geoffrey Chaucer. If someone ivrote the story of your life, what would the book be called? Paper Boy.

South Winooski Ave. Parking Lot Attendant/Musician/3>z/f« Days Carrier. Burlington What are you reading now? Writer of the Purple Rage, by Joe R. Landsdale. "It has a lot of swearing and sex stuff."

Mike Arena

What's on your summer reading list? I'm trying to get through The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, by Tom Wolfe. How do you decide what to read next? "It's usually something a friend has kicking around the house." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will?

User Services Specialist, Durick Library, St. Michael's College, Colchester What are you reading now? The Magic Kingdom: Walt Disney and The American Way of Life, by Steven Watts. What's on your summer reading list? "I don't really have a list." How do you decide what to read next?

"I browse at bookstores and see what's new in the library. Mostly I decide based on the subject matter. I like to read about film and creative writing." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? The Old Testament. Which book do you wish were the story of your life? Stephen Mitchel's translation of the Tao Te Ching. "In some ways I try to live it." Ben Davis St. Paul Street Parking Garage Attendant/Retired School Principal, Burlington What are you reading now?

The Seven Days/UVM Summer

What are you reading now? The New Yorker fiction issue; just finished The Iron Hand of Mars, by Lindsey Davis — a light mystery. And Nobody Said Not to Go: The Life, Loves and Adventures of Emily Hahn, by Ken Cuthbertson. What's on your summer reading list? Meetings With the Archangel, by Steven Mitchel, A New Song, by Jan Karon, and The Gifts of the Jews, by Thomas Cahill. How do you decide what to read next? "I read so many reviews, what I'm interested in at the moment, and I look for authors I have to read, like Madeleine L'Engle." What's one book you think you should read but probably never will? Ulysses. What makes the best bathroom reading? Things that are short, like Bloom

County Babylon, and The New Yorker.

Tony Plant Leddy Park Parking Attendant,^ Burlington What are you reading now? The Science of Everyday Life, by Jay Ingram. What's on your summer reading list? "Whatever someone suggests." How do you decide what to read next? "Lots of people who drive through dump off books for me to read." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, by John Gray. Have you ever read a book and then wish you hadn't? "Not yet."

Debbi Gray Assistant Librarian, Lincoln Library What are you reading now? A children's book: Ella Enchanted, by Gail Carson Levine. What's on your summer reading list? Lady ofAvalon, by Marion Zimmer Bradley, and Ayurvedic Massage, by Harish Johari. How do you decide what to read next? "As something grabs me when I'm shelving. A lot of times it's the cover. Also if it's won an award."

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Continued from page 15 What's the Book you think you should read but probably never will? A gift: Women Who Run With the Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Which famous author could best write the story of your life? "Either E.B. White, who writes in a veiy whimsical, humane way, or Gary Paulsen, for the wild side of me."

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Perkins Pier Parking Attendant, Burlington What are you reading now? Unnatural Exposure, by Patricia Cornwell. What's on your summer reading list? Memoirs of a Geisha, by Arthur S. Golden, The Thorn Birds, by Colleen McCullough, and books by Mary Higgins Clark. How do you decide what to read next? "I just grab whatever's hanging around the house." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? "There is none." What's your favorite reading position? "On a couch."

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What are you reading now? Monsoon, historical fiction by William Martin. What's on your summer reading list? Mysteries, and the new books when my patrons get through with them. How do you decide what to read next? "I read the jacket cover. I have my favorite authors and try to find new authors." What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? Anything by Jonathan Kellerman. "He's very popular, but I just can't get through him." If you could stage a celebrity death match between the main characters of two different books, who would you throw into the ring? Flag from Stephen King's The Stand and Dirk Pitt from Clive Cussler's adventure books.

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What's the book you think you should read but probably never will? "None. WTien I lock in on something, I go right into it." Who's the one person you'd most like to read to? "No one. Most people aren t interested in what I'm into. You can lead a horse to water, but you cant make him read." (Z)

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C o u r t House Plaza Parking Attendant/Philosopher, Burlington What are you reading now? Journey of Souls, by Michael Newton, and Gods of Eden, by William Bramley. What's on your summer reading list? The Naked Truth, by Marlene Druhan. How do you decide what to read next? "If I'm interested in a subject, I read lots of different authors to formulate my own opinion. Since 1964, I've been into metaphysics."

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Sasha or n o Sasha, Parini is pleased w i t h the result. " I t s ail interesting a n d g e n u i n e conversion of the novel," h e says. T h e m o s t significant alteration was the a d d i t i o n of a character — Tolstoy. W h e r e a s Parini s novel examines Tolstoy f r o m others' perspectives, the R o b i s o n Morrissey script brings h i m to life. A n d playing Tolstoy, w o r l d r e n o w n e d d r a m a t i s t J e r o m e Kilty makes that life large. In roughly half a century's w o r k in the theater, Kilty has b e c o m e an expert at scripting a n d / o r playing literary lions, i n c l u d i n g G e o r g e Bernard Shaw, D y l a n T h o m a s , R o b e r t B r o w n i n g a n d Walt Whitman. Kilty's The Hermit of Yalta, a b o u t the life of A n t o n C h e k h o v — yes, he's played the Russian playwright — earned h i m h o n orary m e m b e r s h i p in the v a u n t ed M o s c o w A r t T h e a t r e . It was only a m a t t e r of time before he played Tolstoy. In fact, 10 years ago he t u r n e d the role d o w n in a different play a b o u t the a u t h o r . Yet in describing the character of Tolstoy, Kilty draws parallels n o t w i t h fiction's masters b u t with o n e of Shakespeare's greatest fictions. " T h e r e is this Lear-

wife," she says, "and n o w h e w a n t s n e w readers." A t o t h e r times, however, she dotes o n Tolstoy w i t h affections befitting a big-haired groupie. Mostly, t h o u g h , she is exasperated at his s e e m i n g lack of concern for their family's welfare; her references to "the great Tolstoy" take o n ironic tones. T h o u g h the inner stories here are intense, the play moves along briskly, propelled by a forceful cast. Lines a n d Kilty display particularly f o r m i d a b l e gifts in the plays' m o s t emotionally charged m o m e n t s . As Bulgakov, Cristaldi is the closest t h i n g to a moral conscience in the play; somew h e r e between his y o u t h f u l naivete a n d intellectual curiosity, he seems to w o n d e r w h o s e side to take. Langsam's M a s h a is m o r e inscrutable; w i t h primarily d o m e s t i c duties, her take on Tolstoy is harder to discern, w h i c h lends her character an air of mystery. D o o l e y brings a c u n n i n g capitalism to Chertkov, b u t also shines c o m i c light by illustrating h o w seriously everyone takes this Tolstoy business. T h e Czar allows C h e r t k o v only two personal visits to Tolstoy a year.

The Last Station examine the inner workings of belebritv bv examining the man and myth of Tolstoy, as well as the role that individual perspectives lay in creating both. like quality to Tolstoy," h e

As Makovitsky, Bill G o r m a n also

explains. "He's a little m a d . He's

blends serious a n d c o m i c ele-

intransigent as well. Also, h e is

m e n t s . H e is a m a n of medicine

reborn. He's been converted.

w h o grows squeamish hearing

Like all such people, he m u s t

rales of his patient's randy y o u t h .

spread the w o r d . Such people are

greatest d r a m a t i c effect by con-

other peoples' Faults, they w a n t

stantly c h a n g i n g perspectives.

to correct t h e m . H e b e c o m e s a

T h e result is a multiplicity of

great proselytizer, a n d at the

m e a n i n g s as compelling a n d sub-

same time, like the great

jective as the characters t h e m -

prophets, w h e n people m a k e

selves. As they struggle to

him the object of a cult, an icon,

advance their interests on the

he refuses to be that."

back of genius — like those peoTolstoy battles his o w n d e m o n s ,

him most w h e n c o n f r o n t e d by

w h a t Parini calls the "chimera" of

Sofya. T h e i r relationship is infi-

one's image in the world press.

nitely complex. H a v i n g convert-

For c o - a u t h o r Morrissey, the

ed to a righteous life g u i d e d by

o f t e n ugly conflict of interests

the gospels, Tolstoy n o w grapples

evokes an ultimately h o p e f u l

with c o n t r a d i c t i o n s in his rar-

message — "a sense of the wide

efied w o r l d — a " d i c h o t o m y , " as

variety of h u m a n need a n d h o w

Kilty describes it, between w h a t

all of t h e m are valid a n d power-

he'd like to be a n d the way he

ful." In the process, the audience

lives. A fan letter f r o m a prisoner

c o n f r o n t s humanity's weightier

suggesting he r o a m the c o u n t r y

questions: H o w should o n e live

as a p a u p e r o n l y a d d s to Tolstoy's

one's life? W h a t are one's alle-

inner t u r m o i l .

giances? H o w d o we c o m e to

is jealous of those w h o m her h u s b a n d lately seems to favor: " H e w a n t e d a reader, n o t a

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PDIDDLE (rock), Breakwater Cafe, 5 p.m. NC. PAT AUSTIN W/BILL PAXTON, STEVE BLAIR, TOM STEELE (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE MIGHTY LOONS (blues/r&b), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. 8 1/2 SOUVENIRS (eclectic continental), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SALSA DANCE LESSONS Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $8, followed by VIDA NUEVA (DJ Justin B), 9 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP DANCE PARTY, Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K (hip-hop), Last Chance Saloon, 10:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. COSMIC LOUNGE (DJs Patty &C Tricky Pat), Bottleneck, 9:30 p.m. NC. ERICA WHEELER (singersongwriter), Cood Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $4.

HOLD THE DDT Bored on the Fourth of July? Try a little pestilence. Despite their irksome-sounding name, Ramona the Pest do little to annoy. Instead, the haunting voice of Valerie Esway, in conjunction with Lucio Menegon's acoustic guitar, assures a riveting, Violent Femmes-meets-Cowboy Junkies performance. The avant-folk duo pester Borders Sunday afternoon, followed by a longer — and louder — show at Red Square Monday.

BEST 'BET' Showing that sisterhood is better amplified, Boston folk-rocker Melissa Ferrick returns to town for a show benefiting Women Helping Battered Women — "Bettyfest '99." Also on the bill are locals Zola Turn, Wide Wail and Katherine Quinn, and Bostonian Kate Vassos. This Monday at Higher Ground.

Basjin B l u e g r a s s F e s t i v a l | 9-11

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page 24

SEVEN DAYS

june 30, 1999

with

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9 p.m. N C . V0RCZA TRIO (jazz/lounge/funk), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. QUADRA (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. JUSAGR00VE, CHIN HO! (disco, alt-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. SOLOMONIC SOUND SYSTEM (reggae DJ), J.P's Pub, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. WIGGLEF00T (jazz-rock), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. NETWORK (funk-jazz),Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ FR0STEE (global grooves), Bottleneck, 9:30 p.m. NC. CHAMP DJ NIGHT Trackside Tavern, 5 p.m. NC, followed by DAVE ABAIR BAND (rock), 9 p.m. NC.

Now that she has some time off from BELIZBEHA, Shauna Antoniuc would like to personally invite you to come and enjoy a night of all her favorite jazz & pop standards. She will be accompanied by her good friend Joe Capps on Guitar and Chris Peterman on saxophone

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PARROT HEAD PARTY (Jimmy Buffet fest), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. NC. ELLEN POWELL W/MARK VAN GULDEN (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. KATHERINE QUINN (singersongwriter), Sweetwaters,

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Featuring: Bluegrass Diamonds • The Gibson Brothers • Thunder M o u n t a i n Bluegrass • The Bondville Boys • Smokey Greene • Back t o Basics • D o w n H o m e Bluegrass • The Larkin Family • The Fritz • Family • Blistered Fingers • Putnamville Revenooers I • Gopher Broke • A n d y Pawlenko and t h e Smokey | H o l l o w Boys • Traditional Heights m

THURSDAY

Natural Soul

5tfi Annual Julif

HOUSE JAM (improv funk), Emerald City, 9 p.m. NC. PETER MCC0NNELL (acoustic), Arvad's 7 p.m. NC.

tiling!

c l c t h i i i g • foleyer d a n c e s l i c e s a c c e s s o r i e s • s t a c e y <1<I<1111S s l i c e s 216 Bpttery

Street

(802)

651-0164

Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. QUADRA (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. N C .

BLUES BUSTERS, Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC!

RUSS & CO. (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. N C .

ABAIR BROS, (rock), Rusty

GUY COLASACCO (singer-

DANCE PARTY W/T0P HAT,

Nail, 9 p.m. $5.

songwriter), Jake's,6:30 p.m.

GUY COLASACCO (singer-

Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

PURE PRESSURE

songwriter), Jake's, 6:30 p.m. NC.

FETISH PRODUCTIONS (DJ

(soul/r&b), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4.

NC, EMPTY POCKETS (rock),

CUBANISMO! (Cuban jazzfunk dance party), Higher Ground, 7 & 10 p.m.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BON-

Renal), Bottleneck, 9:30 p.m. $3.

NIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub,

THE MIGHTY LOONS (rock,

9 p.m. NC.

r&b), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC.

BR0DIE (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, 6:30 p.m. NC.

word and music), Daily Bread Bakery, 7:30 p.m. $2.50.

TIME KILLER (rock), Alley

APATHY JONES (rock),

Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC.

Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, Swanys, 9 p.m.

Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn,

NC. Turtle, 9:30 p.m. N C .

9 p.m. NC. DIXIE SIX (Dixieland jazz), Higher Ground, 7 p.m.

TEEN NIGHT (DJ), Emerald

$3/5, followed by SUMMER

City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $7.

SCHOOL (hip-hop & dancehall DJs Dubee, Demus, Melo Grant & Joey K), 10 p.m. N C .

TUNG 'N' GRUV (spoken

SHANE & CHARLOTTE

EMPTY POCKETS (rock),

TNT DJ & KARAOKE, Thirsty

Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC.

LITTLE JOYCE (jazz/r&b vocalist), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC.

THE HELICOPTER CONSORTIUM, UNCLE SAMMY (groove rock), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $5.

ABAIR BROS, (rock), Champion's, 9 p.m. NC.

MATT & BONNIE DRAKE

SATURDAY

(rock), Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

ARISTOCRACY, LUDICROUS, THE VICTIMS (hardcore),

BAD HORSEY (rock),

242 Main, 6 p.m. $5.

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. N C .

KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny

FRIDAY

Champion's, 9 p.m. NC.

THE MIKE TR0MBLEY EXPERIENCE (rock),

BAD HORSEY (rock),

Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

MIKE (singer-songwriter),

BLUES FOR BREAKFAST,

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

RETR0N0ME ('80s DJ), Club

Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. NC.

JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano),

Metronome, 9 p.m. NC.

LIVE MUSIC (jazz),

Tavern, Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC.

INDEPENDENCE DAY BLOWOUT W/LITTLE MAR-

Ripton Community Coffeehouse, 7:30 p.m. $4. TNT DJ, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC.

Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. N C .

LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim's

POP GUN, WINE FIELD

BOOTLESS & UNHORSED

Grille, 7:30 p.m. N C .

(Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. N C .

RUN FOR COVER (rock),

TIN (tent party; barbeque after the fireworks; DJ), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. $8.

Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC.

ADDISON GROOVE PROJECT

PAUL H0RT0N (singer-song-

SOUTHBOUND (country-

MARK LEGRAND & THE LOVESICK BAND (country),

writer), Borders, 8 p.m. N C .

CHROME COWBOYS (vintage

rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3.

(groove-jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC.

country), Halvorson's, 9:30 p.m. $4.

MARTY KEYSTONE W/PARTY BAND (funk

NC.

FLASHBACK ('70s-'80s DJ),

PURE PRESSURE

EVOLUTION (DJ Craig

grooves), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $5/7.

Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

(soul/r&b), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4.

ABAIR BROS, (rock),

Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5.

UNCLE JIM & THE TWINS (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. N C .

DJS TIM DIAZ & RUGGER

PICTURE THIS (jazz), J.P. Morgan's, Capitol Plaza, 7:30 p.m. N C .

SUPERSOUNDS DJ, Ruben

DERRICK SEMLER & THE MODERN BLUES BAND,

James, 10:30 p.m. N C .

Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC.

SANDRA WRIGHT (blues diva), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. JUSAGR00VE (disco; club farewell party), Club

weekly

SWING NIGHT W/BETSY JAMISON & DAN JESSIE, Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $5 with dinner.

listings

KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m.

(hip-hop/r&b), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K. (hip-hop), Last Chance Saloon, 9 p.m. N C .

DJS SMILIE & A-D0G (hiphop, dancehall), Bottleneck, 9:30 p.m. $5/1.

DYSFUNKSHUN, (hiphop/funk), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC.

O's, 9 p.m. NC.

RICHARD RUANE, OPEN

(funk/r&b; groove), Emerald City, 9 p.m. $5/8.

State House Lawn, Montpelier, 10 p.m. (after fireworks). NC.

LEFT EYE JUMP (jump blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC.

ABAIR BROS, (rock), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $5.

APATHY JONES (rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

where Alley-Cats, 4 1 King St., Burl., 6 6 0 - 4 3 0 4 . Arvad's, Rt. 1 0 0 , Waitsfield, 4 9 6 - 9 8 0 0 . Backstage Pub, 6 0 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 8 7 8 - 5 4 9 4 . Boony's, Rt. 2 3 6 , Franklin, 9 3 3 - 4 5 6 9 . Borders Books & Music, 2 9 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 5 - 2 7 1 1. Bottleneck, 1 5 6 St. Paul St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 3 9 9 4 . Breakwater Cafe, King St. Dock, Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 8 0 4 . Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln„ Burl., 8 6 2 - 6 9 0 0 . Carbur's, 1 1 5 St. Paul St., Burlington, 8 6 2 - 4 1 0 6 . Cambridge Coffee House, Smugglers' Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 6 4 4 - 2 2 3 3 . Champion's, 3 2 Main St., Winooski, 6 5 5 - 4 7 0 5 . Charlie O's, 7 0 Main St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 6 8 2 0 . Chicken Bone, 4 3 King St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 6 7 4 . Chow! Bella, 2 8 N. Main St., St. Albans, 5 2 4 - 1 4 0 5 . Club Extreme, 1 6 5 Church St., Burlington, 6 6 0 - 2 0 8 8 . Club Metronome, 1 8 3 Main St., Burlington, 8 6 5 - 4 5 6 3 . Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 5 2 7 - 7 0 0 0 . Daily Bread, Bridge St., Richmond, 4 3 4 - 3 1 4 8 . Deerleap Books, 2 5 Main St., Bristol, 4 5 3 - 5 6 8 4 . Diamond Jim's Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 5 2 4 - 9 2 8 0 . Edgewater Pub, 3 4 0 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 8 6 5 - 4 2 1 4 . Emerald City Nightclub, 1 1 4 River St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 7 0 0 7 . Franny O's 7 3 3 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 2 9 0 9 . Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 1 1 6 , 4 8 2 - 4 4 4 4 . Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 0 2 7 8 . Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1 0 6 8 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 3 - 6 3 6 1 . Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 6 5 4 - 8 8 8 8 . Jake's, 1 2 3 3 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 6 5 8 - 2 2 5 1 . J.P. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 1 0 0 Main St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 5 2 5 2 . J.P.'s Pub, 1 3 9 Main St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 3 8 9 . LaBrioche, 8 9 Main St., Montpelier, 2 2 9 - 0 4 4 3 . Last Chance Saloon, 1 4 7 Main, Burlington, 8 6 2 - 5 1 5 9 . Leunig's, 1 1 5 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 3 7 5 9 . Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 4 9 6 - 2 5 6 2 . Main St. Bar & Grill, 1 1 8 Main St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 3 1 8 8 . Manhattan Pub, 1 6 7 Main St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 7 7 6 . The Mountain Roadhouse, 1 6 7 7 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 - 2 8 0 0 . NECI Commons, 2 5 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 2 - 6 3 2 4 . Nectar's, 1 8 8 Main St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 4 7 7 1 . The Nightspot Outback. Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 - 9 8 8 5 1 3 5 Pearl St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 2 3 4 3 . Radisson Hotel, 6 0 Battery St., Burlington, 6 5 8 - 6 5 0 0 . Rasputin's, 1 6 3 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 3 2 4 . Red Square, 1 3 6 Church St., Burlington, 8 5 9 - 8 9 0 9 . Rhombus, 1 8 6 College St., Burlington, 8 6 5 - 3 1 4 4 . Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 1 2 5 , 3 3 8 - 9 7 8 2 . Ri Ra, 123 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 0 - 9 4 0 1 . Ruben James, 1 5 9 Main St., Burlington. 8 6 4 - 0 7 4 4 . Rude Dog, 14 Green St., Vergennes, 8 7 7 - 2 0 3 4 . Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 - 6 2 4 5 . Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St., Burlington, 8 6 3 - 5 6 3 7 . Swany's, 2 1 5 Sweetwaters, The Tavern at Thirsty Turtle,

M a i n St., Vergennes, 8 7 7 - 3 6 6 7 . 1 1 8 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 4 - 9 8 0 0 . the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 8 7 8 - 1 1 0 0 . 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 2 4 4 - 5 2 2 3 .

Three Mountain Lodge. Rt. 1 0 8 , Jeffersonville, 6 4 4 - 5 7 3 6 . Toadstool Harry's. Rt. 4. Killington, 4 2 2 - 5 0 1 9 . Tones Music & Art, Rt. 15, Johnson, 6 3 5 - 2 2 2 3 , Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 6 5 5 - 9 5 4 2 . Tuckaway's, Sheraton. 8 7 0 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 5 - 6 6 0 0 . Vermont Pub & Brewery. 1 4 4 College. Burlington, 8 6 5 - 0 5 0 0 . Villa Tragara, Rt. 1 0 0 , Waterbury Ctr., 2 4 4 - 5 2 8 8 . Windjammer, 1 0 7 6 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 2 - 6 5 8 5 .

continued on page 27

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CARREYING ON Last week, somewhere in Westford, Phish threw a party in a barn for the cast and crew of Me, Myself and Irene — that is, the by-now-infamous Jim Carrey movie filmed in Burlington over the past few weeks. Owned by guitarist/vocalist Trey Anastasio, the barn normally serves as a rehearsal space, and has probably absorbed a few notes as the band prepared for its current tour, leading up to the big hoo-ha in Oswego, New York, July 17-18. Anyway, about 100-150 crew and friends of the band were there, according to official Seven Days informants, and a good time was goin' down. Especially, it seemed, for 20-mill Jim himself. All that money, and whatsa guy do for fun after a hard day of takes? Well, this one leapt up on stage and sang "Hey You," by Bachman Turner Overdrive (never thought you'd see that name in this column, did you?) At least he attempted to. Word has it Carrey gave up trying to follow the song after the first verse, then burst into the rubber-faced mania

we all know and love. Bouncing around the stage and shit. Same thing happened with The Beatles' "Come Together" — a far more challenging tune, admittedly. Unfortunately for the Phish video archives, no taping was allowed byCarrey's people. You want the man on film, that's gonna be, oh, about a grand per minute. But a grand time was had by all. FARE-THEE-WELL, ROTHWELL! This week, Metronome becomes history. Well, history-making, anyway. After seven-and-a-quarter years, Anne Rothwell is handing over the reins to Red Square owners Jack O'Brien and Mark Gauthier. "I'm very happy and very ready," says Rothwell. "I'm going to be a partner for a few years, but Mark will do the booking; I won't have a paid position." Looking forward to freewheeling — and sleeping, rather than working, at night — she'll have no more demanding chores for awhile than handling billing for "the Hood." The former Hood Plant has rapidly been transformed into a mostly artsy

office building, and a sizeable monthly parking lot. Rothwell reports she and boyfriend/business' ,, partner LOU Natale will be goirt'g to Italy this fall, to Panama for New year's Eve 2000, and touring Asia next year. Sounds pretty good to me. Meanwhile, check out the music in this, the final week of Club Metronome as we've known it. Chin Ho! — the 'nome's first band — will be one of its last, Thursday night, along with Jusagroove. Friday, the 'groovsters pump up the volume for a grand finale and big disco send-off for Rothwell. Look here for a report on the newly renovated Metronome later this summer. FOOD...FOR THOUGHT Singersongwriter Jerry Trudell hasn't given up on his self-appointed mission of getting the groceries back. As reported here a few weeks back, Trudell organized an old-fashioned musical protest outside the downtown Burlington Price Chopper the day it closed. Next up: another songfest/speakout in the vicinity of Church and Cherry streets July 2. "In the midst of all this talk about sustainable communities," Trudell laments, "we are in danger of withering at the vine for lack of basic sustenance." Meanwhile, he says, adding another grievance, there isn't a bicycle lane in sight. "I just wanna use the power of music to inspire people at the grassroots level." Look forward to another performance of "Where Have All the Groceries Gone?" —

BETTYFEST '99

with apologies to Pete Seeger — and other meaningful material this Friday at two. "If we can subsidize Filene's to the tune of millions of dollars," Trudell concludes, "why can't we subsidize food? These are important questions to be asking. I'm going to try to continue speaking out on the issue and using music to publicize it." SINGLE TRACKS 242 Main has its own little mag. The "official fanzine" is called Do Not Open: A journal of arts, music, social commentary and pretty pictures. Yet another sign that the teen-scene club has been saved from eternal damnation — along with a summer drama program, band workshops and other projects. All hail the power of the pen, er, keyboard . . . In another Burlington City Arts-related development, look for the first-ever on-line "Rock Auction" July 11-17, on eBay and Big Heavy World. Items from the famous, infamous and merely local — including autographed CDs, posters, programs and photos, will be available. Preview the lot at www.bigheavyworld. com/ROCKAUCTION . . . Irish pub Ri Ra has petitioned the City of Burlington to construct an outdoor terrace into City Hall Park, to simultaneous applause and distress from various quarters. After a public hearing two weeks ago, the issue was tabled until a Parks & Rec Commission meeting July 20 Stay tuned .. . ®

Band name of the week:

Whizzer

feat. MELISSA FERRICK, ZOLA TURN, W I D E WAIL & KATHERINE QUINN TUESDAY, JULY 6 S3 21* S 5 1 8 '

ZUBA JIM'S BIG EGO THURSDAY. JULY 8

THE SWINGIN' VERMONT BIG BAND, FROM THE TOP (self-released, CD) — The recent resurgence of swing dancing and the music of the big-band era have spawned numerous new groups, and effectively resurrected the careers of some musicians who have kept the faith all along. By the looks of the photos on the insert accompanying From the Top, by The Swingin Vermont Big Band, many of the group's members fall into the latter category. The Swingin' Vermont Big Band is a well-oiled swing machine along the lines of Count Basie's Two Franks band of the 1950s. On this CD, their repertoire includes warhorses from the books of Basie, Stan Kenton, Glenn Miller, Artie Shaw and Benny Goodman. Although there are some notable — if brief — solos from saxophonist and clarinetist Andy Miskavage (sounding particularly inspired on "Sing, Sing, Sing"), trumpeter Dick Toof (in a Roy Eldridge-esque take on "Stardust") and a few others, the real focus of this disc is on tightly arranged charts for dancing. Out of the generous 17 selections presented here, 10 have vocals. Bill Bickford's deep, rich, resonant baritone reminds me of Al Hibbler, as well as the neglected crooner Kenny Hagood. The only problem is that he has a rather affected, overblown way of attacking a lyric, and a tendency to rely too much on vibrato for coloration. If you grew up in the era of Rudy Vallee, you may love him, but his style is certainly not my cup of tea. Jenni Johnson is a bluesy breath of fresh air on her one guest spot, "Everyday," originally made famous by Joe Williams with the Basie band. Next time around, perhaps The Swingin' Vermont Big Band could tip the scales the other way, and feature more from their obviously talented instrumentalists, and a few less wooden vocals. — Bill Barton

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DAVID BUDBILL & WILLIAM PARKER, ZEN MOUNTAINS, ZEN STREETS (Boxholder Records, CD) — Zen Mountains, Zen Streets, a duet of words and music from Vermont poet/playwright David Budbill and New York bassist/composer William Parker, is the first release from Woodstock-based Boxholder Records.

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Burlington-area fans may have heard die pair at die Flynn Theatre, one of seven performances in three states last fall. In fact, some of ZMZS was recorded live at the Flynn show, diough die crowd sound allowed here is little more than a gende murmur, an occasional titter when Budbill cracks lines like "I want to be famous so I can be humble about being famous," or "My goal is to become a simpleton, and from what everybody tells me, I'm making real good progress." Zen Mountains, Zen Streets — the title reflects the poets habitat in Vermont's Northeast Kingdom and die musician's in Manhattan — is a meditation of sorts. Budbill is a poet, but widiout rhyme; he is a storyteller, a 20th-century version of the ancient Chinese poets he admires so much. He is a wide-open, vulnerable, questioning rural-mystic acutely aware of the difference between a wise man and a wise guy. Budbill's tale is in pan a self-centered — in a good way — odyssey, an examination of his life in which he rephrases the eternal query, "Why am I here?" ZMZS is also a loving paean to place, where Budbill prowls among die beasts — "neighbors quiet and seldomseen" — reads ancient poetry, tends his garden, listens to the conversations of the chickadees, eats rice and vegetables, walks and ponders. A lot. At Judevine Mountain, where he composes poems that "have come to me by never leaving home," it is so quiet that "the pen against my page makes a racket." But if Budbill is truly "a large bowl clean and empty into which the world each day pours itself," he is still a modern man plagued by guilt and self-doubt: "Fifty years on diis earth and what have I done?" he asks. He claims to spend his days watching thoughts drift by, with no discipline at all — it's not clear whether this is a proud achievement or a recrimination. Yet Budbill had the discipline to put these words down on paper, turn them into a brilliant collaboration with Parker, and, finally, to burn them onto these discs. Being a Westerner, he could not confine himself to minimalist haiku, but even as Zen Mountain seems to wander down the corridors of Budbill's insecurity — and refers to his thinning hair rather too often — the duet remains economical enough both in language and

music. Budbill may or may not be "on the road to Buddhahood," but he has certainly achieved a fine Budbillhood. This poet believes art can help transform and heal; apparently he has escaped die postmodern curse of staring at himself and seeing nothing. Of course, he's not completely positive it's okay to "be glad with a cup of tea and birdsong and a small book of poems and your anonymity." And that's exactly what makes him like the rest of us. For his part, Parker is the perfect accompanist: ever-present and never overbearing. In addition to his own nimble-fingered meditations on stand-up bass, Parker plays a double reed instrument called die gralle, a shakuhachi (Japanese bamboo flute), pocket trumpet, slit drum, valve trombone and multiple percussion devices. The compositions — or improvisations, it's not clear which — gently impel and embellish the spoken words with an electrical impulse of their own, like the charging of neurons. The seemingly mismatched men — Parker's cool, urban African-American and Budbill's white, poetically anxious, rural recluse — are in fact as comfortable together as a pair of socks. "My life is like the bird's path across the sky: It will leave no trail," Budbill says plaintively. It's likely Zen Mountain, Zen Streets will prove him wrong. I recommend playing it in die privacy of your own... traffic jam. — Pamela Polston

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SHAUNA ANT0NIAC, JOE CAPPS & CHRIS PETERMAN (jazz),

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Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. N C .

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SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHT (live

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hail, hollywood: Jim Carrey may be wrapping up his Vermont-made movie, but Hollywood will echo through the hills and valleys for at least another week. At two upcoming concerts, the 40th Army Band peppers a patriotic program with tunes from The Empire Strikes Back, The Lion King arid The Wizard of Oz. Under the leadership of Bandmaster Chief Warrant Officer David A. Meyers — also a music director at the Shelburne Community School — the show will also feature a rare opportunity to hear the state song, "Hail Vermont" before it fades to black. Wednesday, June 30, WiLliston Bandstand & Monday, June 5, United Church, Underbill. 7p. m. Free. Info, 654-0480.

evil weed

l First was the zebra mussel. Then came senate hopeful Jack McMullen. Now two more invasive exotics are being weeded out: the water chestnut and purple loosestrife. At two volunteer workdays, conservationists lead nature lovers in yanking the non-native plant species from fragile wetlands where they threaten other plant and marine life — and make for tough canoeing. The water chestnut Waterloo is sponsored by the Nature Conservancy, the purple loosestrife pull by the Winooski Valley Park District. Water chestnut pull, Wednesday, June 30. East Creek, Orwell, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Register, 265-8645. Purple Loosestrife workday, Thursday, June 1. Ethan Allen Homstead, Burlington, 9 a.m. - noon. Free. Register, 863-5744.

june 3 0 - july 7

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4 0 T H ARMY BAND CONCERT: The military music-makers fill the summer skies with star-spangled sounds on the Williston Bandstand, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 654-0480. ROOSEVELT JAZZ BAND: Seattle's highly acclaimed high-school musicians host a swing ding on the Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7254. C O N S T I T U T I O N BRASS QUINTET: The historically correct band performs "Music of the Civil War" at the Vergennes Opera House, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 877-6737. VERMONT SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: Mark Russell Smith conducts a program of explosive works concluding with the 1812

Overture — and real fireworks. Alumni Field, Middlebury College, 7:30 p.m. $20-25. Register, 800-876-9293.

drama ' T H E LAST STATION': Jerome Kilty stars as Leo Tolstoy in this stage adaptation of the literary bio by Middlebury author Jay Parini. See article, this issue. Royall Tyler Theatre, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. $16. Info, 656-2094. ' T H E FOREIGNER': Misunderstandings about a "foreign" British visitor to the back woods of Georgia lead to language-related laughs in the McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 8 p.m. $19-21. Info, 654-2281. 'CAMELOT': Stowe Theatre Guild makes your knight with this classic musical about the court of King Arthur. Town Hall Theatre, Stowe, 8 p.m. $12. Info, 253-3961. 'THREEPENNY OPERA': Lost

Nation Theater recasts the Kurt Weill j Bertolt Brecht collaboration that made "Mack the Knife" a musical hiiMl City Hall Arts Center, Montpelier, I ] 8 p.m. $16. Info, 229-0492. I la 'AS BEES IN HONEY D R O W N ' :I!n Douglas Carter Beane's comical Off I H Broadway hit explores our not-so- St healthy appetites for style, glitz and lb celebrity. Catch the buzz at Dorset I t l Playhouse, 2 & 8 p.m. $20-32. Info, 1 / . 867-5777. |'C 'ONCE O N THIS ISLAND': The majestic musical navigates Caribbean waters, visiting ports of love, loss and l l 0 redemption-— all to a calypso beat Weston Playhouse, 3 & 8 p.m. $25- I Info, 824-5288.

film

'AN AMERICAN IN PARIS': Gene Kelly plays a struggling artist singing and dancing his way into the hearr of M a young French girl. Spaulding n Auditorium, Hopkins Center, hi Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H.,

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T h e A r t o f N o i s e : Learn to run live s o u n d f r o m 242's resident s o u n d guy. Don Quenneville'in this h a n d s - o n 5 w e e k class. We p r o m i s e you'll b e a c c o m p l i s h e d in the a u d i o arts by m i d - A u g u s t .

4 - 6 Thursdays.

July 15th t o A u c j u s t J 2 t h . J i n r o H m e ^ is $50. SchoSarshigs available. T h e B a n d W o r k s h o p S e r i e s (free): Find out everything you n e e d 1o k n o w to get your jpand o n t h e c r o a d to success. From live s o u n d basics, to using the internet, basic lay-out skills for projects f r o m flyers to

CD covers, Do-it-yourself m a r k e t i n g tactics, to finding the proper gear, to putting together that all i m p o r t a n t press kit. We'll have you rocking in no time. W e d n e s d a y s f r o m 4 - 6 starting July 7th to August 11th.

or be a part oF i n main's media empire Join the staff of Do Not Open 242 Main's official fanzine, (production meetings Tuesdays 3 to 5) Be on the 242 Main Presents team and contribute to our in-house public access TV show that documents goings-on at 242 Main, (production meetings Mondays 12 to 2)

by erik esckilsen

Get it all on film with 242 Main's Photography project. Shooting pictures of the bands as they deliver the rock, (production meetings Mondays 3 to 4)

hot stuff

• Just when you thought things couldn't get any hotter, the "Blues in the Valley" festival adds a second act: an International H o t Sauce competition. Part concert, part bake-off, the festival burns along with blues lights Ronnie Earl &- the Broadcasters, D u k e Robillard and Luther "Guitar Junior" Johnson as well as local acts Seth Yacovone, Tammy Fletcher & the Disciples and others. A "Headcutters Ball" showcases winners of a state Battle of the Blues Bands. Smokin'. Saturday & Sunday, June 3 & 4. Routes 9 & 100, Wilmington, 28:30p.m. $12.50. Info, 464-8382.

bean there, done that: Good to the last

p o t : Birds of a feather flock or rock together, in the case of Viva aking their name from a mythical, s rain forest bird, the multicultural roup hails from various New England s well as Chile and Peru. W h e n they ough our area for a "Music in the show, they blend traditional South folk melodies, Latin-laced jazz fusion ch of the American barrio, ily 4. Trapp Family Lodge Concert Stowe, 7p.m. $18. Info, 253-7792.

I & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info,

646-2422.

o, see exhibit openings in the art itings. IGURE DRAWING: The human ;ure motivates aspiring and accomI ed artists in a weekly drawing sesat the Firehouse Gallery, I ington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. 865-7165.

I : PARKER: The Vermont verI lar storyteller digs up a few 'ar 1:1 Stories for Families" at I rnrne Farms, 5:30 p.m. I :ter, 985-8686. I HANY'S B O O K G R O U P : The Ithly reading roundtable considers I' Falling on Cedars. Borders, hu ch St. Marketplace, Burlington, P-m. Free. Info, 865-27.11. (MEN'S POETRY READING: liont versifiers Liz Powell, Angela I n and Ardie Kusserow share their I with words. Fletcher Free | ry, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, |211. ION READING: Local literati |an Broughton and Jeremiah share works-in-progress at fcbus Gallery, 186 College St., hgton, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 5144.

drop? N o t for the people who grow the joe, says Rosario Castellon Garcia. As a girl in Nicaragua-, Garcia helped harvest coffee. Today, with an economics degree under her belt, she works with the" Boston-based fair-trade group Equal Exchange. At three upcoming discussions, Castellon explains the buzz around a movement that promotes socially and environmentally conscio'us java consumption through small-farm co-ops. Wednesday, June 7. Onion River Co-op, 274 North Winooski Ave., Burlington, 1-3p.m. Info, 863-3659. Healthy Living, S. Burlington, 4-6 p.m. Info, 865-4770. Peace & Justice Center, Burlington, 7p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345.

words worth:

Chris Bohjalian is not the only Vermont author to benefit from an Oprah endorsement. Last winter Mistress Midas took a shine to Jewel, making Brett Lott the second Vermont author to make the list in less than a year. Well, almost. A faculty member in the MFA program at Vermont College, Lott calls Charleston, South Carolina, home. At an upcoming reading, he reads and discusses his rural-Southern tale of a w o m a n raising a child with Down syndrome. Wednesday, July 7. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p. m. Free. Info, 229-0774.

tne works june 30 STOWE

MIDDLEBURY Vermont Symphony Orchestra explodes on the scene with a patriotic program that concludes with the 1812 Overture — and fireworks. Alumni Field, Middlebury College, 7:30 p.m. $20-25. Register, 800-876-9293.

BRISTOL The Mark Twang band lends a country flair to festivities before Fridav-night fireworks. On Saturday, an outhouse race runs the route before "Heroes of the 20th Century" march in the state's oldest parade. Recreation Field. Info, 453-2278.

BURLINGTON The "Fireworks Express" brings thrill-seekers in Shelburne and South Burlington to — and from — the spectacular fireworks on Lake Champlain. Call for departure times, 864-2974. Waterfront Park, Burlington, Free. Info, 863-5966.

"The worlds shortest marathon" and pony rides winds up with 'works of the colorftd kind. Mayo Farm. Info, 800-247-8693.

MONTPELIER Start Independence Day off right with a pancake breakfast. A "water carnival," parade and fireworks viewed from the Statehouse lawn finish things off with a bang. Info, 229-9408.

BRANDON Get a taste of homemade pies, a parade and patriotic pyrotechnics. Central Park and Forest Park VtUage. Free. Info, 247-3929.

WARREN A morning cannon rouses revelers for a day of festivities that includes a parade, music, cherry pit spitting and a "Mardis Gras" musical finale. Info, 496-1000.

RANDOLPH A parade down Main Street marks the day, with follow-up fireworks. Info, 728-9027.

RUTLAND A professional rodeo, jet flv-overs, hot air balloon rides and fireworks make for action-packed independence. Vermont State Fairgrounds. $8. Info, 773-2747.

SIGN U P TO BE A PART OF 242 M A I N ' S S U M M E R D R A M A PROJECT. P R O D U C T I O N S C H E D U L E D T O B E G I N T U E S D A Y J U L Y I3TH.

BE O N T H E L O O K O U T FOR O T H E R FREE A R T S RELATED W O R K S H O P S AT 2 4 2 M A I N T H I S S U M M E R , L E A R N I N G S K I L L S LIKE S I L K - S C R E E N I N G O R BEING A PART OF O U R M U R A L PROJECT. ALL yv C L A S S E S A N D W O R K S H O P S H A V E LIMITED SPACE. SIGN U P N O W BY CALLING 8 6 2 ~ 2 2 4 4 . /TnJcT^^

Green Mountain Writers' Conference Tinmouth, VT August 2-6 With Chris Bohjalian, Joseph Citro, Joan Connor, Yvonne Daley, Susan Keese, Sally Johnson, Peter Kurth, Sydney Lea, Grace Paley, Linda Peavy, Ursula Smith, Abigail Stone, Phoebe Stone and Ruth Stone. For information, call 802-775-5326, see http://www.vermontwriters.com or email us at ommar@vermontel.com

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'AUTHORS O N T H E GREEN': Vermont Life editor Tom Slayton take nothing for granite in a talk entitled, "Why I Love Barre." City Park, Barre, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 244-7321. F I C T I O N READING: Vermont novelists Sue Miller and Shelby Hearon read from their respective works as part of the "Readings in the Gallery" series. Victorian Art Gallery, St. Johnsbury Athenaeum, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 748-8291. D A N NEARY: The Vermont journalist and photographer reads from Rage in the Hills — a collection of stories about the tensions between native Vermonters and flatlanders. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774.

fragile wetlands. See "to do" list, this issue. East Creek, Orwell, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Register, 265-8645. 'ANTIQUES O F T H E FUTURE': Todays tacky stuff may be tomorrow's antique treasure. Get a taste of the collectibles business at Shelburne Farms, 7-9 p.m. Free. Register,985-8686. ARTS R E C E P T I O N : Meet Burlington's summer stock of artists-in-residence: Jeffrey Whittle, Megan Lipke and Robin Michals. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6:30- 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535.

kids STORYTIME: Four- and fiveyear-olds enjoy stories, songs, finger plays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STORIES: Little listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

sport V E R M O N T EXPOS: The home team takes on the Oneonta Tigers. The first 1000 fans get a Cabot Creamery frisbee at Centennial Field, Burlington, 7 p.m. $4. Info, 655-6611. S E N I O R WALKS: Stroll for fitness in health-conscious company. Weekly walks start at Leddy Park Arena, Burlington, 10 a. m. Free. Register, 864-0123.

etc FAMILY G A R D E N I N G PLAY: T h e Visiting Nurses Association lends a hand at this green-thumbed gathering for growing gardeners. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 1:30-5 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. WATER C H E S T N U T PULLING: The Nature Conservancy offers free canoeing to eco-volunteers helping to protect

' O N C E O N T H I S ISLAND': See June 30, 8 p.m. ' T H E TEMPEST': Vermont Stage mounts Shakespeare's mystical tale of a sorcerer who rules over villains, clowns, sprites and lovers. Royall Tyler Theatre, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. $19. Info, 656-2094. 'MY FAIR LADY': Language makes a lady in the 1956 musical adapted from George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion. Unadilla Theatre, E. Calais, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 456-1339. T H E W I Z A R D O F OZ': The town talent goes all out — and over the rainbow — in a Vermont version of the musical made famous by Judy Garland. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 8 p.m. $11. Info, 728-9133.

film music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." ' M U S I C IN A GREAT SPACE': Cellist Jonathon Tortolano plays Brahms, Kodaly and Britten in the College Chapel, St. Michael's College, noon. Free. Info, 654-2535. CRAFTSBURY CHAMBER PLAYERS: Ice cream adds to the sweet sounds of string quartets and duos in Rusty Parker Park, Waterbury, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 244-7352. MONTREAL INTERNATIONAL JAZZ FESTIVAL: The "French connection" is the focus of this nine-day jazz extravaganza, complete with concerts, art exhibits and Louisiana feasts. Venues around Montreal. Info, 888-515-0515.

drama ' T H E FOREIGNER': See June 30. 'CAMELOT': See June 30. ' T H R E E P E N N Y OPERA': See June 30. 'AS BEES IN H O N E Y D R O W N ' : See June 30, 8 p.m.

' N E T W O R K ' : Faye Dunaway stars in Sidney Lumet's 1976 satire about the T V ratings wars - and warriors. Loew Auditorium, Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

words W E S T INDIAN LITERATURE: Nancy Means Wright considers the island implications of Autobiography of My Mother, by Jamaica Kincaid. Stowe Free Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 253-6145.

kids 'SENSES W O R K I N G OVERTIME': Five tales about the power of perception entwine through a whimsical world of living beings, masks and puppets. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 7 p.m. $5. Register, 872-0466. STORY H O U R : Young readers learn from lighthearted literature in a country setting. Flying Pig Children's Books, Charlotte, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 425-2600. 'HUNTING WITHOUT A G U N ' : Budding naturalists from seven to 11 years old take aim at noticing — not shooting — wild

things. Rokeby Museum, Ferrisburg, 9:30 a.m. - noon. $10. Register, 877-3406.

sport V E R M O N T EXPOS: See June 30.

etc H O L O C A U S T STUDIES LECT U R E SERIES: Simmons College prof Lawrence Langer reads between the lines while "Interpreting Holocaust Testimonies." 103 Rowell, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 656-1492. PURPLE LOOSESTRIFE WORKDAY: Volunteers pitch in to pull up this invasive vegetation so that other flora may flourish. See "to do" list, this issue. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 9 a.m. noon. Free. Register, 863-5744. BAKERY ANNIVERSARY: Let them eat cake — and drink coffee — at this one-year-old bakers birthday bash. Scrumptious, 139 North Champlain St., Burlington, 11 a.m. - 3 p .m. Free. Info, 864-9220. B L O O D DRIVE: Share a pint with a stranger in Alliot Hall, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. LAKE CHAMPLAIN HISTORY LECTURE: Donald Wickman offers a Revolutionary "British perspective" on how Mount Independence got its name. Basin Harbor Club, Ferrisburg, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 475-2022. WILDFLOWER WALK: Familiarize yourself with the flora found in our northern woods. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 6:30-8 p.m. $3. Info, 229-6202. P U S H K I N LECTURE: The Russian poet's life and work are Celebrated in the bicentennial year of his birth. Dole Auditorium, Norwich University, Northfield, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 485-2165. A D O P T I O N M E E T I N G : Search and other related issues are on the agenda at a regular meeting of the Adoption Alliance of Vermont. South Burlington Community

Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2464. GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Outright Central Vermont, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: Women suffering from depression, anxiety or any other mental or emotional problem find sorority in this 12-step support group. Seneca Center, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 660-9036.

music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." MONTREAL INTERNATIONAL JAZZ FESTIVAL: See July 1. W H I T N E Y H O U S T O N : The pop diva of Bodyguard iame wants to dance with somebody at the Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga Springs, N.Y., 8:15 p.m. $25-75. Info, 518-587-3330. PIANO A N D VOCAL RECITAL: Ruth Ann McDonald accompanies soprano Maria Izzo in a program of works by Mozart, Rodrigo and Gershwin. U V M Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free, Info, 656-3265. PAUL H O R T O N : The singersongwriter from Massachusetts strums the weekend's opening chords at Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 8 p.m, Free. Info, 865-2711. O R G A N C O N C E R T : Resident carillonueur George Matthew Jr. plays organ music by American and Canadian composers at Mead Chapel, Middlebury College, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. POINT COUNTERPOINT C H A M B E R PLAYERS: The quar-

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tet gets back to Bacewicz, with a little bit of Beethoven and Arensky thrown in. Salisbury Congregational Church, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. Y O U N G ARTISTS C O N C E R T : Music students share the bill with world-class chamber musicians at the Rams Head Lodge, Killington, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 773-4003.

drama ' T H E LAST STATION': See June 30, $19. ' T H E FOREIGNER': See June 30. 'CAMELOT': See June 30. ' T H R E E P E N N Y OPERA': See June 30. 'MY FAIR LADY': See July 1, $12.50 T H E WIZARD O F OZ': See July 1. ' O N C E O N T H I S ISLAND': See June 30, 8 p.m. 'AS BEES IN H O N E Y D R O W N ' : See June 30, 8 p.m. ' H A M L E T ' : Elizabethan and modern motifs blend in this version of Shakespeare's tale of a gloomy Danish prince. Moore Theater, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $18.50. Info, 603-646-2422.

film ' R U S H M O R E ' : Bill Murray plays an oafish millionaire industrialist who vies with a wily prep-school kid for the affections of an elementary school teacher. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art FIRST FRIDAY T O U R : Art lovers indulge in an evening of gallery hopping via trolley service linking exhibits at the Union Station, Firehouse, Exquisite Corpse, Doll-Anstadt, Frog Hollow, Men's Room and Rhombus galleries. Downtown Burlington, 5-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166. M O N T P E L I E R GALLERY WALK: Check out crafts, creative

canvas and cheap art on a culture crawl through downtown Montpelier. Ten locations, 5-7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-2766.

words B U R L I N G T O N POETRY SLAM: Organizers describe this word wrangle as "a cross between a boxing match and a tent revival." To the verse victor go the spoils at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-0569.

kids STORY H O U R : Toddlers listen to stories at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

sport M I D N I G H T BASKETBALL: Teen hoopsters put on the night moves at the Greater Burlington YMCA, 7 p.m - midnight. Free. Register, 862-9622.

etc EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: See July 1. This co-ed section welcomes men. '2600' M E E T I N G : Hackers, cyberpunks, geeks and assorted wired types meet to socialize and converse. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 5-8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. BIKE L O O P RIBBON C U T T I N G : Pedal along a new "interpretive historic" route through the city after marking the trail with a ceremony. Union Station, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 864-7999. GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-4522428. BATTERED W O M E N ' S SUPP O R T G R O U P : Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 658-1996.

Saturday music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." MONTREAL INTERNATIONAL JAZZ FESTIVAL: See July 1. BURLINGTON CONCERT BAND: The community corps plays tunes in a patriotic key. Battery Park, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-3740. 'BLUES IN T H E VALLEY' FESTIVAL: A hot-sauce competition tops off this country concert featuring blues belters of legendary and local status. See "to do" list, this issue. Routes 9 100, Wilmington, 2-8:30 p.m. $12.50. Info, 464-8382. DAVIS JOACHIM: The Montreal guitarist strums songs with a Brazilian beat at the Haskell Opera House, Derby Line, 7:30 p.m. $6. Info, 873-3022.

dance BURKLYN BALLET THEATRE: Pre-professional dancers with the theatrical troupe perform at the Dibden Center for the Arts, Johnson State College, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 635-1390. C O N T R A DANCE: Ed Hall calls for Mark Sustic, Franklin Heyburn and Karen Sutherland at this northern-style community hoedown. Capitol City Grange Hall, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 951-8658.

drama ' T H E T E M P E S T ' : See July 1, 2 p.m.

'CAMELOT': See June 30. ' T H R E E P E N N Y OPERA': See June 30. 'MY FAIR LADY': See July 1, $12.50 ' T H E FOREIGNER': See June 30, 2 & 8 p.m. T H E W I Z A R D O F O Z ' : See July 1, 2 p.m.

'AS BEES IN H O N E Y D R O W N ' : See June 30, 4 & 8:30 p.m. ' O N C E O N T H I S ISLAND': See June 30, 3 & 8 p.m. $22-28. ' H A M L E T ' : See July 2.

film 'HURLYBURLY': Sean Penn, Kevin Spacey, Meg Ryan and Chaz Palminteri cross paths in this unsentimental look at life in contemporary L.A. Loew Auditorium, Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 & 9:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art

• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FINE ART FLEA MARKET: The visual version of the "farmer's market" offers affordable art in a wide range of media. Alley between Burlington City Hall and the Firehouse Gallery, noon - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166.

kids MATH TUTORIALS: Highschoolers take the "numb" out of numbers-crunching at this weekly session with Dr. Samuel J. Klein. Room 373, Jeanmarie Hall, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 9 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 865-5039. C H I L D R E N W I T H AIDS BENEFIT: "Female illusionist" Noel performs tunes off It's Just a Phase on a bill with the '50s-era boppers the Prozactions. The fundraiser features food and a silent auction at the Village Homes Park, Barre-Montpelier Rd., 1-9 p.m. Donations. Info, 223-3606.

sport V E R M O N T VOLTAGE: The state's soccer stars get goal-oriented with Albany at the Barre Town Field, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 229-6233. BIKE TRAIL RIDE: Bring your helmet and repair kit on a group peddle with the Green Mountain Club. Meet at Montpelier High School, 8:30 a.m. Free. Info, 479-2304.

etc 'TAKE T H E PLUNGE': Burlington Mayor Peter Clavelle and other local risk-takers get all wet to benefit Champlain Valley Kids on the Block. Waterfront Park, Burlington, 5:15-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 879-8425. BARBECUE A N D CRAFT FAIR: Summer food fare and fine handiwork satisfy seasonal appetites at the Shelburne United Methodist Church, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $7. Info, 985-3981. SAMBATUCADA: Move to the samba beat as you parade along with this popular Afro-Brazilian drum ensemble. Bristol, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 862-4841. HISTORICAL SOCIETY OPEN H O U S E : An old-fashioned wall phone, ringable school bell and the costume of America's first sideshow "living skeleton," Calvin Edson, are on display at the Randolph Historical Society, Salisbury St., Randolph, 2-4 p.m. Donations. Info, 728-5398. M O R G A N H O R S E HERITAGE DAYS: Amateur riders salute the native steed in equine competitions that include dressage. Tunbridge World's Fairgrounds, 8 a.m. Free. Info, 244-1602. PEASANT MARKET: It's open season for bargain-hunting at this event stocked with books, crafts, toys and entertainers. St. Stephen's Church, Middlebury, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7200. CIRCUS SMIRKUS: The international youth circus troupe catapults back in time with a Robin Hoodthemed performance. Circus Barn, Greensboro, 2 & 7 p.m. $10. Info, 533-7125. FARMERS MARKETS: Look for Vermont-grown agricultural products and crafts on the green at Burlington City Hall Park, 8:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Info, 888-889-8188. Or in Montpelier, Corner of Elm and State Streets, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 426-3800. Or in Waitsfield, Mad River Green, Rt. 100, 9:30 a.m. 1:30 p.m. Info, 496-5856.

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Sunday music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." VERMONT SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: See June 30, Shelburne Farms, 7:30 p.m. $25. Register, 800-876-9293. 'BLUES I N T H E VALLEY' FESTIVAL: See July 3. MONTREAL INTERNATIONAL JAZZ FESTIVAL: See July 1. SARAH B R I G H T M A N : T h e British soprano and "angel of music" alights on her "One Night in Eden" tour. Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga Springs, N.Y., 8:15 p.m. $17.50-45. Info, 518-587-3330. R A M O N A T H E PEST: T h e Bay Area avant-folk duo opens up an acoustic set to support their Can of Worms release. See spotlight in "Sound Advice," this issue. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, 3-5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. ' M U S I C IN T H E M E A D O W : The exotic Latin-American vibes of Viva Queztal! spice up a summer eve. See "to do" list, this issue. Trapp Family Lodge Concert Meadow, Stowe, 7 p m. $18. Info, 253-7792. K I L L I N G T O N M U S I C FESTIVAL: T h e chamber-music charms of Henri Vieuxtemps, William Bolcom and Paul Schoenfeld fill the mountain air at the Rams Head Lodge, Killington, 7:30 p.m. $13. Info, 422-6767.

drama ' T H E F O R E I G N E R ' : See June 30. ' T H R E E P E N N Y OPERA': See June 30, 7 p.m. T H E W I Z A R D O F O Z ' : See July 1, 2 p.m. ' C O P E N H A G E N ' : Physicist Werner Heisenberg is reunited with his mentor, Niels Bohr, but a World War divides them in this

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award-winning drama. Unadilla Theatre, E. Calais, 7:30 p.m. $12.50. Info, 456-1339. ' H U M D R U M GLORIFICAT I O N CABOODLE': Political pageantry, puppet shows, art and fresh bread make it worth a trip to Bread and Puppet Farm, Glover, 3 p.m. Donations. Info, 525-3031.

sport 'SKY H I G H ' SKATE SERIES: Inline skaters and skateboarders compete in "street" and "vert" categories in Giorgetti Park, Rutland, 11 a.m. $15. Register, 775-7976.

etc M O R G A N H O R S E HERITAGE DAYS: See July 3. Carriage competitions and trotting take to the track starting at noon. H I S T O R I C A L SOCIETY O P E N H O U S E : See July 3. OLD VERMONT 4TH: Celebrate Independence Day the traditional way — with speeches, spelling bees, craft projects and icecream making. Billings Farm and Museum, Woodstock, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. $7. Info, 457- 2355. BEACH BARBECUE: A "water trampoline" puts spring back into this summer event featuring a sand castle contest, food and country music. North Hero House, noon 8 p.m. $14.95. Info, 888-525-3644 'FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN': Acclaimed by Vermont Life magazine as "the best series of free performances in Vermont," this eclectic festival offers alfresco entertainment all week. See schedule, this issue. Town Green, Middlebury, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 388-0216. SEX A N D LOVE A D D I C T S A N O N Y M O U S : This free 12-step program meets weekly at 7:30 p.m. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, Burlington, V T 05402-5843.

monday music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." MONTREAL INTERNATIONAL JAZZ FESTIVAL: See July 1. CHAMPLAIN ECHOES: Harmonious women compare notes at a weekly rehearsal of the all-female barbershop chorus. The Pines, Dorset St., S. Burlington, 79:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9500. 4 0 T H ARMY BAND C O N CERT: See June 30. The "At the Movies" program features selections from The Empire Strikes Back, The Lion King and The Wizard of Oz. See "to do" list, this issue. United Church, Underhill, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 654-0480. C O N S T I T U T I O N BRASS Q U I N T E T : The historically correct band performs "Music of the Civil War" at the Enosburg Falls Opera House, 7:30 p.m. $6. Info, 933-2545.

drama 'BYE BYE LOVE': Hits from the '50s make for a melodious "class reunion" meal tinged with — gasp — murder. Villa Tragara, Waterbury Center, 6:15 p.m. $38. Info, 244-5288. ' T H E FOREIGNER': See June 30.

film ' M O N D A Y N I G H T AT T H E MOVIES': Nigel Noble's Oscarwinning documentary Close Harmony profiles a Brooklyn music teacher who orchestrates a multi-generational concert. In The Weavers: Wasn't That a Time, Pete Seeger and other members of the legendary group relive the glory days. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 253-8358.

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BURLINGTON WRITERS G R O U P : Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9647. C O M M U N I T Y BOOKWAGON: Musician, storyteller, deejay and librarian Robert Resnik spins a yarn along the reading route. Lazy Brook Mobile Home Park, Starksboro, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5052. V E R M O N T W R I T E R S DISCUSS I O N : Janet Gerba leads this exploration of state character via Walter Hard's A Mountain Township and Jody Gladdings Stone Crop. Sherburne Memorial Library,

Continued on page 34

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tuesday

art ARTISTS-IN-RESIDENCE SLIDE S H O W : Get a look at computer-assisted photography and painting methods at a reception for artists Jeffrey Whittle, Megan Lipke and Robin Michals. Sloane Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester, 6:308:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535.

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TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get information, supplies, screening and treatment for sexually related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 863-6326. BATTERED W O M E N ' S SUPP O R T GROUPS: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the Shelter Committee facilitates a meeting in Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0855.

drama ' T H E FOREIGNER': See June 30. ' C O P E N H A G E N ' : See July 4, $10. T E N - M I N U T E PLAYS: Vermont Stage Company puts up four pared-down productions with "high-spirited" actors at Red Square, Burlington, 8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4351.

SNEAK PREVIEW

$1.50

etc 'FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN': See July 4. WATER C H E S T N U T PULLING: See June 30. RUMMAGE A N D NEARLY N E W SALE: The whole family finds deals on clothes, household items and toys at a weekly yard sale. Ohavi Zedek Synagogue, North Prospect St., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 862-2311. PRENATAL N U R T U R I N G CLASS: The Visiting Nurses Association sponsors this workshop series for parents-to-be. McClure Multigenerational Center, 241 North Winooski Ave., Burlington, 5:30-8 p.m. Info, 860-4420. CHIAPAS AWARENESS N I G H T : The documentary video The Sixth Sun, The Zapatista Uprising and discussion exposes the "low-intensity" war against indigenous peoples in Mexico. Peace & Justice Center, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 652-0806.

' M U S I C IN A GREAT SPACE': Organist William Tortolano performs a program of Bach, Franck, Faure, Boelmann and — of course — Tortolano. College Chapel, St. Michael's College, noon. Free. Info, 654-2535. FESTIVAL O F AMERICAN MUSIC: The Gregg Smith Singers lay out a "Musical Mosaic" at the Lake Placid Center for the Arts, N.Y., 8 p.m. $5. Info, 518-523-2515.

STORYTIME: Children from

Street ( c o r n e r of St. Paul & Main)

SUNDAY - THURSDAY

three to five enjoy stories, songs, finger plays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.

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acting S U M M E R T H E A T R E CAMPS: Monday through Friday, July 19 through 30, 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. Rice High School, S. Burlington. $375. Register, 860-3611. Students participate in storytelling, improvisation, movement and puppetry, and rehearse for a one-act play.

aikido A I K I D O O F C H A M P L A I N VALLEY: Adults, Mondays - Fridays, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m., Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 3:45-4:45 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $55/month, $120/three months, intro specials. Info, 654-6999. Study this graceful, flowing martial art to develop flexibility, confidence and self-defense skills. AIKIDO OF VERMONT: Monday through Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m., Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m., Sunday, 10-11:30 a.m. Above Onion River Coop, 274 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. Practice the art of Aikido in a safe and supportive environment.

aromatherapy BASIC AROMATHERAPY: Two Thursdays, July 8 and 15, 6:30-8 p.m. Star Root, Battery St., Burlington. $35. Info, 862-4421. Explore essential oil profiles, basic blending and carrier oils in this twopart class.

craft DISCOVER SILK: Saturday, July 17, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. and Sunday, July 18, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Northeast Fiber Arts, 3062 Williston Rd., S. Burlington. $70/Saturday, $20/Sunday. Info, 865-4981. See real silkworms in action, harvest silk from cocoons, then dye, spin and weave it. TILE PAINTING: Wednesday, July 14, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. $20. Info, 652-0102. Create a four-tile mural to use as a tabletop or in your bathroom or kitchen. CERAMIC P A I N T I N G FOR NON-ARTISTS: Wednesday, July 28, 6-7:30 p.m. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington.

$20. Info, 652-0102. "Non-artists" learn to create designs for ceramic painting. P A I N T I N G CERAMICS: Ongoing Wednesdays, 2-3:30 p.m. and 5:30-7 p.m. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-0102. Learn the fundamentals of painting ceramics.

dance S W I N G D A N C I N G : Ongoing Thursdays, level II, 7-8 p.m., level I, 8-9 p.m., Swing Etc. at Jazzersize Dance Studio, Rt. 2A, Williston. Info, 860-7501. Keep up your momentum from the Jazz Festival swing classes. SALSA: Ongoing Wednesdays, level I, 7-8 p.m. Swing Etc. at Club Metronome, Burlington. Info, 8607501. Heat up your summer with this spicy Latin dance. S W I N G D A N C I N G : Classes going on now. Champlain Club, Burlington. Info, 862-9033. Learn balboa and lindy hop — the original style of swing.

kendo K E N D O : Ongoing Wednesdays and Fridays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren Town Hall. Donations. Info, 496-4669. Develop focus, control and power through this Japanese samurai sword-fencing martial art.

kids 'KIDS IN KAYAKS': Tuesday, July 6, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington. $40. Info, 863-5744. Kids eight and up get an intro to kayaking, develop safe boating skills and get some hands-on environmental education. WEAVING CAMP: Monday through Friday, July 12 through 16, 9 a.m. - noon. Northeast Fiber Arts, 3062 Williston Rd., S. Burlington. $125. Info, 865-4981. Kids create a pocketbook or sheep wall hanging while learning fiber arts basics.

language KID'S F R E N C H CAMP: Monday through Friday, July 12 through 16, 2-4 p.m. The Book Rack, Winooski. $105. Register, 6550231. Six- to eight-year-olds learn French through educational games, sports, art and song.

GERMAN: Ongoing individual and group classes, adults and children. Williston. Info, 872-8538. Take classes in German and reap the rewards of learning a foreign language. ITALIAN: Ongoing individual and group classes, beginner to advanced, adults and children. Burlington. Info, 865-4795. Learn to speak this beautiful language from a native speaker and experienced teacher. ESL: Ongoing small group classes, beginners and intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloan Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve your listening, speaking, reading and writing skills in English as a second language.

photography PHOTOGRAPHY: Private or group, basic and intermediate classes. Info, 372-3104. Take two-day workshops or a five-week class in black and white and Cibachrome printing or camera and composition skills; teens participate in one-week day camps.

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: ! Ongoing daily groups. Various locations in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, Help Line, 862-4516. If you're ready to stop using drugs, this group of recovering addicts can offer inspiration.

reiki

writing

REIKI CLINIC: Ongoing Wednesdays through August, 7-9 p.m. Fletcher Free Library, College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 8778374. Get an introduction to this ancient healing method used to restore health and balance to body, mind and spirit.

POETRY W O R K S H O P : Thursdays, 1 p.m. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury. Free. Info, 388-7523. Bring a poem or two to read and discuss at this ongoing workshop.

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YOGA: Wednesdays, 7 p.m. Green Mt. Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Williston. $8. Info, 872-3797. Practice yoga with Deborah Binder. YOGA AT T H E CREAMERY: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m., Fridays, 9:30-11 a.m., Saturdays, 4-5:30 p.m. The Creamery, Shelburne. $10/class, $60/eight classes. Info, 482-2490. Practice Iyengar style yoga using props to align the body. YOGA V E R M O N T : Daily classes, 12 p.m., 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 6609718. Astanga style "power"yoga classes offer sweaty fun for all levels of experience. YMCA YOGA: Ongoing classes. YMCA, College St., Burlington. Info, 862-9622. Take classes in various yoga styles.

SPANISH: Ongoing individual and small group lessons. S. Burlington. Info, 864-6870. Get ready for that trip — learn the basics of Spanish conversation and grammar.

ROLFING: Four Thursdays, July 1, 8, 15 and 29, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Healthy Living, Market St., S. Burlington. Free. Info, 865-4770. Get a feel for this stress-reducing deep massage method.

meditation

self-defense

'KABALLAH, MEDITATION A N D TRANSFORMATION': Five Wednesdays, July 7, 14 and 21 and August 4 and 11, 6-8 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $10/class. Info, 660-8060. Explore the ancient Jewish mystical path through discussion, meditation and song. T H E WAY O F T H E SUFI': Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and movement. MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave. Free. Info, 6586795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations. MEDITATION: Thursdays, 78:30 p.m. Green Mountain Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203, Williston. Free. Info, 872-3797. Don't just do something, sit there! G U I D E D MEDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation for relaxation and focus.

KICK-BOXING: Adults and kids, Tuesdays, 7:45-8:45 p.m., Thursdays, 7-8 p.m., Saturdays, 2:30-3:30 p.m. Body Garage, 29 Church St., Burlington. Info, 6517073. Refine your balance and sharpen your reflexes — learn kickboxing for self-defense. BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU: Ongoing classes for men, women and children, Monday through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian jiu-jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Info, 660-4072 or 253-9730. Escape fear with an integrated self-defense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

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spirit AURA P H O T O G R A P H Y A N D VIDEO: Saturday, July 10, 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. and Sunday, July 11, 12-3 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $25 for photo, $30 for video. Info, 6608060. Become aware of your "energy field" with a photo or video and a personal reading.

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support groups ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 658-4221. foin a group in your area to overcame a drinking problem.

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INFANT-TODDLER PLAYG R O U P : The under-three crowd crawls, climbs and colors while caregivers compare notes. Lunch is included at H . O . Wheeler School, Burlington, 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0377. H O M E S C H O O L E R S GYM A N D CRAFTS: Stay-at-home students take part in extracurricular activities at the Burlington Boys and Girls Club, Oak St., Burlington, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. $1. Info, 860-1299. ' M U S I C W I T H ROBERT RESNIK': Kids sing songs with the musical host of Vermont Public Radio's folk show "All the Traditions." Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. STORY T I M E : Kids under three listen in at the South Burlington Community Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. STORY H O U R : Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

People Die Every Day Waiting For An

sport

Organ Transplant

' C L I M B I N G IN T H E E I G H T IES': Mountain man Kurt Smith shows slides on getting to the top "the hard way." McCarthy Arts

" T h e Kindness of Strangers"

Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 8 p.m. $5. Info,

654-2535.

etc 'FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN': See July 4. WATER C H E S T N U T PULLING: See June 30. CIRCUS SMIRKUS: See July 3. Topnotch Field, Stowe, 3 & 7 p.m. C O V E R E D D I S H SUPPER: Local gourmets serve up a summer meal replete with baked beans and homemade pies. Baptist Building, Main St., Fairfax, 5:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 849-6588. OVEREATERS A N O N Y M O U S : Compulsive eaters weigh in on body image issues at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-8936. BATTERED W O M E N ' S SUPP O R T G R O U P : Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

Wednesday music MONTREAL INTERNATIONAL JAZZ FESTIVAL: See July 1. K I L L I N G T O N M U S I C FESTIVAL: See July 4. On tap are the mellow cello, guitar and flute tunes of the Tritonis trio.

Saturday, July 10 (4:30 Screening, 6:00 Panel Discussion) 235 Marsh Life Science Building, U V M • Free & O p e n to the Public For Information call 660-2600 Rotcher Discussion with Maro Chermaycff, Director; Jamie Redford, Producer; Dr. JeffReese, FAHC/UVM Transplant Surgeon; Pat Burds.

Presented by The Vermont International Film Foundation

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NEW MENU! featuring many fine and famous comestibles.. Hamonica Chewinski Sad-Ham Hussein Corm, Coach and Lana Shitake Happens Phantom of the Oprah Millenium Melt-down The A! Gore

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drama ' T H E LAST STATION': See June 30, $19. ' T H E FOREIGNER': See June 30. 'CAMELOT': See June 30. 'MY FAIR LADY': See July 1. ' M A D RIVER RISING': An old man's return to the family farm stirs ghosts in Dana Yeaton's poignant drama — part of the Vermont Stage Company "Barnstorming Tour." Coach Barn, Shelburne Farms, 7:30 p.m. $11. Info, 656-2094.

film ' O N T H E WATERFRONT': Marlon Brando plays a former boxer with a "one-way ticket to Palookaville" in Elia Kazan's powerful tale from the dock side. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See June 30.

Green Mountain Theater Festival

VI Coordinator New England Organ Bank

Outrageous Carbur's Strikes Again

CRAFTSBURY CHAMBER PLAYERS: The Northeast Kingdom's 23-member orchestra plays tribute to Debussy, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky and Vivaldi. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 4:30 & 8 p.m. $13. Info, 800-639-3443.

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This award-winning documentary causes us to examine our most basic beliefs about life and death

a n d Fletcher Allen Health Care

^ S u m m e r

. . . S h a k e s p e a r e

in association with

PURLINCT0N TAIK0

THE TEMPEST

by William Shakespeare Directed by Ron Bashford

Written at the height of his creative powers. Shakespeare's tale of revenge and redemption features some of the Bard's most entertaining characters. Come join the sorcerer Prospero on his enchanted island full of villains, clowns, lovers and spirits. The mystery and power of this magical tale will be brought to life by Vermont's most exciting musical ensemble, the Burlington "faiko Drummers - live. Royall Tyler Theatre July 1 @ 8pm • July 3 @ 2pm Tickets: $19 / $17 (students, seniors, members) $16 (opening night special!)

sponsored by K Howard Bank

open daily for dinner reservations accepted 518 9 6 3 7 9 9 3

The Catherine File n o N e w P i a y series

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THE LAST STATION

by Blake Robison & Connan Morrissey Directed by Blake Robison By 1910, Leo Tolstoy had become the world's most famous author and a cult religious figure. Torn between his passionate wife and : a zealous publisher. Tolstoy must flee his estate to find peace of mind in his final days. Based on the critically acclaimed novel by Middlebury author. Jay Parini. THE LAST STATION follows the swirling events of the Tolstoy estate through the eyes of six engaging characters. Profound and intelligent. daringly theatrical. THE LAST STATION is a world premiere right here in Vermont! Royall Tyler Theatre June 30, July 2, 7, 8, 9 @ 8pm / July Tickets: $19 / $17 (students, seniors, members) $16 (opening night special!) Made possible with generous support from The Catherine Filene Shouse Foundation & Vermont Arts Council

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endar GALLERY LECTURE: Multimedia artist Hope Herman Wurmfeld discusses her inspiring personal works. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7166.

m n e 3 0 - iiiiv 7

STORYTIME: Four- and fiveyear-olds enjoy stories, songs, finger plays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STORY H O U R : Preschoolers and accompanying adults get a taste of Once Upon a Mudpie and work with clay under "kidcertified" potter and reader Cynthia Haviland. Kids in kindergarten through fifth grade attend the later session. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 10 a.m. & 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 244-1126. STORIES: Little listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

words B R E T T LOTT: This Oprahanointed author reads from Jewel — his mother-daughter tale set in rural Mississippi. See "to do" list, this issue. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774. 'LOVERS IN LOVE': This discussion looks at literary loves spurned and spoofed in Jane Austen's Northanger Abbey. Warren Public Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 496-3913. AUTHORS ON THE GREEN': Vermont's "Bard of the Bizarre" and resident ghost census-taker, Joe Citro reads from Green Mountains, Dark Tales in City Park, Barre, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 244-7321.

etc FAMILY G A R D E N I N G PLAY: See June 30, 1:30-5 p.m. 'FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN': See July 4. P U S H K I N LECTURE: See July 1. This discussion plumbs his poetry, with bilingual presentations by Russian School students and faculty. COFFEE COOPERATIVE TALK: Nicaragua-born Rosario Castellon Garcia discusses fairtrade issues connected to the coffee trade. See "to do" list, this issue. Onion River Co-op, 274 North Winooski Ave., Burlington, 1-3 p.m. Info, 863-3659. Healthy Living, S. Burlington, 4-6 p.m. Info, 865-4770. Peace

S O N G A N D STORYTIME: Kids under three enjoy tunes and tales at Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORY PILLOW CRAFT: Crafty kids ages seven and up decorate head beds with inspiration from a favorite story. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

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&c Justice Center, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345. 'MOTHERS & THEIR INFANTS' DISCUSSION: Psychotherapists Irene Smolarski and Mina Levinsky-Wohl analyze "Expectations and Realities" of the early childhood years. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10:45-11:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. SAT AND PSAT ORIENTATION: Students and parents learn about test-taking strategies at this informational session hosted by Kaplan Educational Centers. The Woolen Mill, Winooski, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Reservations, 800-527-8378. BOOK SALE: Stock up on summer reading at this bargainbook bonanza. Stowe Free Library, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 253-6145. 'THE LEGACIES OF ALEXANDER' LECTURE SERIES: Classics fans retrace the route from "City-Sate to Cosmos" in the Hellenistic World. 105 Dartmouth Hall, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7:45 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-3394.

Campus, Colchester, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3273. KNITTING GROUP: Needle workers swap techniques and design ideas with other wool workers. Northeast Fiber Arts Center, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-4981.

FIBROMYALGIA SUPPORT GROUP: This neuromuscular pain and fatigue syndrome affects more women than men. Join fellow sufferers in the Board Room, Fanny Allen

VT 05402-1164. Or fax

Calendar is written by Erik Esckilsen. Classes are compiled by Lucy Howe. All submissions are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style. Send to: SEVEN DAYS P.O. Box 1164, Burlington,

802-865-1015. Email: sevenday@together.net

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HORSERADISH PRIME R I B * L A K E VIEW SHRIMP GRILLED SALMON • NY STEAK AU POIVRE Join the festivities as Mark Russell Smith conducts the VSO in a program of rousing classics from Dvorak, Kodaly, Handel, Verdi, Berlioz and a glorious fireworks finale set to Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Middlebury - June 30 Middlebury C o l l e g e Q u e c h e e - July 1 Q u e c h e e Polo Grounds Manchester - July 2 Hildene M e a d o w l a n d s Grafton - July 3 G r a f t o n Ponds Shelburne - July 4 Shelburne Farms Killington - July 9 Pico Resort Randolph - July 10 Three Stallion Inn Stowe - July 11 Trapp Family L o d g e For tickofe & complete schedule: 1-800-VSO-9293, x12 www.vso.org V E R M O N T S Y M P H 2. N Y ORCHESTRA JAIME LAREDO, ARTISTIC ADVISOR All dates, artists & programs subject to

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CCTA is running 16 shuttles on July 3rd to take you to the Waterfront show! 4:00pm-11:00pm: Gutterson Field House to and from the Waterfront. $1.00 roundtrip. Children 5 and under ride free when accompanied by an adult. Extended Cherry Street Station hours: Last buses leave at 10:30pm on all major routes.

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SEVEN DAYS

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STOPPING BY WOODS ...on a snowy evening sounds really nice right about now. Calais painter Susan Wahlrab offers up cool views of the state's wooded wonderland in "Inspired By... Four Seasons of Vermont Landscape. " The selection of watercolors currently graces the walls of the Helen Day Art Center in Stowe. A good place to be up a tree. Pictured, Wahlrab's "Winter Dance. "

c a l l to artists Vermont artists in any media are invited to submit slides for consideration of publication in the year 2000 edition of Fletcher Allen Health Care's calendar. Deadline: July 2. Address: A Celebration of Excellence, Communications and Public Affaris Office, FAHC, 111 Colchester Ave., Burlington, V T 05401. Info, 656-2886.

openings BLACK AND WHITE PRINTS, featuring a book of prints and stories created by children and seniors in a Very Special Arts Vermont class. McClure Multigenerational Center, Burlington, 860-6220. Reception June 30, 11 a.m. ART'S ALIVE OUTDOOR SCULPTURE EXHIBIT, featuring member works in mixed media. S.T. Griswold, Williston, 864-1557. Reception and lecture with sculptor Leslie Fry, June 30, 6-8 p.m. YAROSLAVL ARTS COALITION, featuring works from Burlington's Sister City: photographs by Misha Makarov and watercolors by Yaroslavl youth ages nine to 15. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8657211. Reception June 30, 6 p.m. ARTISTS-IN-RESIDENCE, an introduction to the three artists working this summer on the Saint Michael's College campus: Jeffrey Whittle, Megan Lipke and Robin Michals. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6542535. Slide show and reception June 30, 6:30-8:30 p.m. FIRST FRIDAY, a free trolley takes art viewers to six galleries in Burlington, 865-7166. July 2, 5-8 p.m. FOCUS ON DESIGN, featuring textiles, furniture, glass and ceramics' for the home. Frog Hollow Craft Center, Burlington, 863-6458. Reception July 2, 6-8 p.m. ADORNING THE FEMALE SPIRIT, paintings by Jolene Reynolds, and COLD FORGED WORKS, jewelry by Richard Messina. Also, artisan jewelry by Tim Grannis and others. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Reception July 2, 5-8 p.m. MONTPELIER GALLERY WALK, a tour on foot to downtown galleries and other spaces, featuring art exhibits, demonstrations and receptions, 2292766. July 2, 5-7 . •

CREATIVITY IS A STATE OF MIND, featuring artworks and crafts by Lucie Mehling, Rose Stautzenbach, Gloria Jay and Mark Joy. City Hall Artists Showcase, Montpelier, 223-6328. Reception July 2, 5-7 p.m. SUMMER IN SACRED SPACE, featuring spiritually inspired artworks by Helen Bongiovanni, Alexandra Bottinelli, Pria Cambio, Jean Cannon, Rhoda Carroll, Regis Cummings, Kate Mueller, Delia Robinson and Jane Shoup. Chirst Church Episcopal, Montpelier, 223-3631. Reception July 2, 5-7 p.m. FINE ART FLEA MART, featuring artists in the alley next to Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Every Saturday, 1-5 p.m. ETHAN MURR0W, new paintings. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 865-3751. Reception July 5, 5-7 p.m. DREAM GARAGE, oversized photograph/collages by Hope Herman Wurmfeld, and SHADE, a mixedmedia installation by Jennifer Koch and Gregg Blasdel. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 8657165. Artist lecture by Wurmfeld July 7, 6-8 p.m.

ongoing BURLINGTON AREA KID STUFF: Great Toys From Our Childhood. A new exhibit of intergenerational playthings from the last halfcentury. Shelburne Museum, 9853348. July 4 - October 17. THE CONE OF LIGHT: Pinhole Photographs by nine 12-year-olds from the Edmunds School. Fletcher Room; and LEAH BENEDICT, paintings and murals, Reading Room. Fletchtr Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Both through July.

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TERESA RITCHEY, giant illustrations and photographs. Penny Cluse Cafe, Burlington, 651-8834. Through July 23. WATERCOLORS ON THE WATERFRONT, watercolor paintings and rice paper collages by Celeste Forcier. Isabels on the Waterfront, Burlington, 985-3458. July 1 - August 15. SUMMER MEDLEY '99, featuring twodimensional works in mixed media by 15 Vermont artists. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 9853848. Through July 27. SUMMER IMAGES, featuring paintings and sculpture by Judith and Denis Versweyveld. St. Paul's Cathedral, Burlington, 864-0471. Through July 18.

BILL TRAYL0R 1 8 5 4 - 1 9 4 9 : DEEP BLUES, featuring drawings by the African-American folk artist. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through August 22. IMPROVISATIONS/INCANTATIONS: Paintings and Works on Paper, by Lois Eby. Flynn Theatre Gallery Space, Burlington, 652-4500. Through September 6. DONALD MITCHELL, a self-taught artist from California, joins works by Inez Walker, Gayleen Aiken and others. Webb &C Parsons, Burlington, 6585123, by appointment only. Through September 7. BARBARA BESKIND, images of Vermont flora and fauna in has relief needlework. Book Rack, Winooski, 655-0231. Through July 1. ART'S ALIVE annual festival featuring more than 50 Vermont artists. Union Station, Burlington, 864-1557. Temporarily on hold. ALICE MURDOCH, new paintings. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 8653144. Through July. A COLLECTION OF SCULPTURE, PHOTOGRAPHY AND FILM by Dana Andrew Wilkinson. Working Design Gallery at the Mens Room,

endaysvt.com

Burlington, 864-2088. Through July. MORE C00KIN' AT THE ONION, featuring handmade prints of jazz greats, by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through July 20. JAVA JIVE! featuring a collection of Vermont-made coffee and tea cups, espresso cups and saucer, and fiber art, all inspired by the beloved beverage. Frog Hollow Craft Center, Burlington, 863-6458. Through June 27. GIRL'S EYE VIEW, featuring photography and writing by Vermont Girl Scouts ages 11-14. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 878-7131. Through July 4. SHAPES OF THE ROAD, SHAPES OF THE SEA, Italian photography by Lina Maria Testa. Courtyard Collection, Burlington, 660-0888. Ongoing. DRAWINGS FOR 'SHE LOVES YOU,' featuring pen-and-ink illustrations by Lance Richbourg for the book of the same title by Elaine Segal. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through July 18.

CENTRAL VERMONT A RETROSPECTIVE, oil paintings by Joy Spontak. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 244-2233. Through August 16. KAREN KARNES & FRIENDS, featuring the works of 12 premier East Coast clay artists. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury Center, 244-1126. Through August 2. COLLAGES AND SO FORTH, by L.J. Kopf. Vermont Arts Council Gallery, Montpelier, 828-3291. July 6 - August 30. ALICE ECKLES, a permanent changing exhibit of selected paintings and prints. The Old School House Common, Marshfield, 456-8993. Ongoing. TRAMP ART, an exhibit of carved crafts, historic and new, made from found or scrap wood. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 3884964. Through September 4. ART, IMAGE AND TEXT, featuring a collection of art books, prints, paintings and text-driven imagery by Bonnie Christensen, Jean Cannon, Nat6 Freeman, Ken Leslie and Ann Lewis. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through August 1. STORY LINES: Narrative Drawings of Memory and Dream, by Lynn Imperatore. T.W. Wood Gallery, South Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through August 1. WEAVING TRADITION INTO A CHANGING WORLD: 200 Years of Abenaki Basketry, featuring a variety of baskets from the Northeast. Chimney Point State Historic Site, Addison, 759-2412. Through October 11.

CLAY IN THE GARDEN, HOME & GREENHOUSE, featuring pottery to live with and use. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Through July. PALETTEERS, paintings and works in mixed media by members, this week featuring Jan Avery. Art Gallery of Barre, 476-1030. Ongoing. FORESTS AND FIELDS, HILLS AND HOMES: 19th-Century Vermont Scenes by the Robinson Family, featuring pastoral landscapes by Rowland E. Robinson and his daughter Rachael Robinson Elmer. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through July. THE BIG PICTURE, featuring large-format photography from European and American artists. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 443-2069. Through August 1. GENERATION OF CHANGE: VERMONT, 1 8 2 0 - 1 8 5 0 , featuring artifacts and documents that examine how the state dealt with issues such as slavery, temperance, religious diversity and more. Vermont Historical Society, Pavilion Building, Montpelier, 828-2291. Ongoing.

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THE NAIVE SPIRIT, fine examples of folk art from the permanent collection. ITW. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through August 1. SILKSCREEN PRINTS by Sally Stetson. Shimmering Glass Gallery, Waterbury, 244-8134. Ongoing. CONTEMPORARY ARt, by painters Tom Merwin and Ellen Hoffman, sculptors Robert Ressler and Dan George, photographer Suzanne Winterberger and the Edinboro Bookarts Cooperative. Merwin Gallery, Castleton, 468-2592. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing. FURNISHINGS AND PAINTINGS by Ruth Pope. Ruth Pope Gallery, Montpelier, 229-5899. Ongoing.

wrapped tennis balls dangle below. The paintings of Sumru Tekin are among the most traditionally executed works in this show, yet her images ififay be the most conceptually challenging. Her largest pieces — "Untitled" numbers 1-3 — are 108" x 51" works of resonant, monochromatic blackness. Contrasting with the scale of the works, delicate pencil lines are layered over the broad, floor-to-ceiling bands of black acrylic. The drawn and painted elements have equal importance as line and mass, especially since the central black fields are bordered by pristine white space.

NORTHERN CHAIRS, CHAIRS, CHAIRS, abstract oil paintings by Lorraine C. Manley. Sugar Mill Art Gallery, St. Albans, 527-0042. Through August. MIXED MEDIA: UNIQUELY COMBINED, a show in mixed media by Bill Botzow, John Housekeeper, Georgia Myer and Sumru Tekin. Heien Day Art Center, Stowe, 2538358. Through August 29. INSPIRED BY, watercolor paintings by Susan Wahlrab. Helen Day Art Center, East Gallery, Stowe, 2538358. Through July 25. IMPROMPTU, a group show in mixed media by members of Caravan Arts. Chow! Bella, St. Albans, 482-5275. Through July 12. 69TH ANNUAL JURIED ART SHOW of members of the Northern Artist Association, works in mixed media. Mary Bryan Memorial Art Gallery, Jeffersonville, 644-5100. Through July 11.

BREAD & PUPPET masks, puppets and other artifacts from four decades. Bread & Puppet Museum, Glover, 525-6972. Through October. 19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS including landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Ongoing.

ELSEWHERE ESSEX QUILTS, featuring six locally made folk-art bedspreads on loan from Essex families. The Cupola House Gallery, Essex, 518-963-7494. Through July 7. FROM RENOIR TO PICASSO: Masterpieces From the Musee de TOrangerie, featuring 81 paintings by French European masters. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-1600. Through October 15, 2000. COSMOS: FROM ROMANTICISM TO THE AVANT-GARDE, featuring 380 paintings, sculpture and works on paper from 17 countries demonstrating the human quest for new frontiers. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514285-1600. Through October 17. FOCUS ON THE BODY, West African Body Ornaments of Brass. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2809. Through September 19. ON ALL FRONTS: Posters from the World Wars in the Dartmouth Collection, and SARAJEVO: RECENT WAR POSTERS, more than 100 original posters from World Wars I and II, and the siege of Sarajevo. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmough College, Hanover, N.H.. 603-646-2426. Through July 4.

PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in tndy public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted.

BY MARC AWODEY

of blue string and orange bricks. The top edge is a band of earthy, reddish concrete. "Bluebell Knoll" and "Las Vegas Serenade" are kindred enigmas related fri massf form aria spirit, though fashioned from contrasting materials. Whether or not the title of

ixed-media artists often work with whatever's at hand for getting their, images across. Found within the assembled works of the four artists in "Mixed Media: Uniquely Combined" — currently at Stowe's Helen Day Art Center — are concrete, tennis \ balls, bits of string, metal strapping, chunks of wood, bottles of water and joint compound, as i well as more traditional materials. Although exhibiting Vermont artists Sumru Tekin, Bill Botzow, Georgia Myer and John Housekeeper utilize diverse materials in their respective works, artistry remains the most Botzows "Chain, Chain, Chain" crucial element for each, no refers to Aretha Franklins matter how well-mixed the "Chain of Fools," it too is rich media. in rhythms. Botzow strung hunSculptor Housekeeper placed dreds of small segments of tree two slightly larger than humanbranch end-to-end, like beads, scale pieces on either side of a and hung them from the gallery path to the front door of the ceiling. These "beads" are angled gallery, dramatically setting the so that they group into curls on ' tenor of the show. These are their nylon line like overlapped gracefully curved blades like links of chain. The colors of primitive axe heads, blades each segment vary from birch pointed heavenward. But the bark to a purple-hued bark to profile view reveals them to be debarked segments. thinner at their bases than at the Botzows wall piece "Hybrid" top edges, giving the forms contrasts a thick wreath of greater upward thrust. At left is coiled vines with a dagger-like "Las Vegas Serenade," a huge piece of white painted wood basket of woven metal strapping and tennis balls wrapped in topped with a scalloped band of twine. "Hybrid" begins as a sinconcrete, dyed green. gle sinew of vine high on the wall and proceeds downward To the right is "Bluebell into the wreath. The slice of Knoll," a concrete work with a painted wood has been woven steel base. The heavily textured into the wreath, and the flanks of the piece contain bits

Tekin is not the only artist working the parameters of black and white in this show. Georgia Myers 26" x 39" charcoal drawing "Charlotte View" is as compositionally sturdy as a mini Robert Motherwell. She built the piece with rugged angles and gradations of gray, contrasted by heavier strokes and solid areas of dark and light. The view referred to in the title may be primarily a view of how elemental forces, light and dark, can create energy in abstraction. A painting with collage ele-

Artistry remains the most irucial element for each, i o matter how well-mixed the media. ^ ments, "On the Green," is similarly energetic, but in this piece Myer employs a wider range of hues and materials. Its expressive geometric shapes are executed with varied doses of ink, oil and charcoal. The dominant color of "On the Green" is, paradoxically, red, while a steep yellow triangle along the bottom of the image forms the foundation for this highly gestural, abstract piece. Though artists enraptured by disparate materials find unique ways to mix their media, the standard meaning of the phrase "mixed media" remains consistent from one practitioner to another. It's a generic shorthand that suggests the artist used whatever was handy, and whatever made sense at the time of inspiration. You might call it the \ original "environmental" art. ® 5

"Mixed Media: Uniquely Combined," works by Sumru Tekin, Bill Botzow, John Housekeeper and Georgia Myer. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe. Through August 29.

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BIG DADDY**"2 MEAN LETTERS ABOUT ME*

I want to do two things this week: 1) Give a quick review of the latest Adam Sandler release, and 2) Violate the taboo which holds you don't respond to people who write mean letters to the editor about you. First, Sandler. Now, I adore the guy. Think he's the funniest thing since disco. I get a kick out of his records and have given wildly appreciative reviews to several of his films, including Bulletproof, The Wedding Singer and The Waterboy. Big Daddy, though, truthful230lNtlittHR$L 157 Peari St. Ethan Alten StwfHH^ CfcL Pvtmhitfli 194HKtkSL ly, is a snoozy fusion of Three Men and a Baby with MM,VT0S7S1 Esti Junction, VT 05452 S i * , VT 05401 Calchasta; VT 05446 lewi^st, ¥T DS2D1 Kramer vs. Kramer that fans will find disappointing. IM02) 171-6026 (102) 164-0151 (102) 6604344 (102)442-4701 The uninitiated are likely to just find it dull. The clown prince of arrested development stars M r w w . t f l d e o M r o r l d . f o r m o v i e s . o o i n here as a slacker law school grad who takes in a fiveyear-old boy to convince his weary girlfiend that he's ready for commitment. You can probably reel off the plot points for this thing in your sleep: Uh-huh, the girlfriend freaks, Sandler bonds with the kid, The System tries to come between the two and heartstrings aplenty are tugged when Sandler attempts to convince a court judge he's ready for commitment. The premise, I suppose, had potential. And a prepared script might have gone a long way toward realizing it. Regrettably, most of the movie appears to have been made up on the spot. The comic's doofus charm carries him for a short while but, eventually, the absence of actual comedy proves insurmountable.

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I expect the studio bean counters to take that view. But why would you? When you fork over eight dollars for a ticket, don't you feel you have the right to expect you're going to see a movie you haven't seen before? That a good-faith effort will have been made to provide you with effective and non-recycled entertainment? My job is to let people know when I think they will not be given their money's worth, and when I think the big new release is really just a rehash of previous releases they've probably already paid eight dollars to see. The fact is, I give the thumbs-up to a lot more movies than you give me credit for — Notting Hill, eXistenZ, The Matrix, The Winslow Boy and Analyze This in the last couple of months alone. I'm sorry it you didn't want to hear that EDtv, Instinct, Pushing Tin, Life, The Deep End of the Ocean and Payback were silly, derivative bores. But don't blame me. I didn't make them and, as it turned out, they tanked with critics and audiences alike from coast to coast. So let's not start shooting the messenger just yet, all right? ®

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for cheap laughs while pretending to positively portray gays, which lobs a merciless volley of cutting boob jokes at a young woman it pretends to embrace, Big Daddy is in the end a production every bit as aimless and confused as its main character. And now I'd like to comment briefly on letters written by concerned readers suggesting that there must be something wrong with the way I review movies since I don't report that more of them are wonderful. Listen, I've been going to the movies every week since I was 12 years old and I have never loved doing so more. As the late Gene Siskel said, someone who really loves film always goes in hoping for the best. Let's be honest, though — what we usually find is far from the best the medium is capable of achieving. Over the years mainstream moviemaking has evolved into a commercial enterprise with dramatically expanded world markets. The big studios have been bought up by giant corporations who run them with an eye to profit and crank out assembly-line product pretty much the way other corporations crank out cars or bottles of soda. My premise has always been that the audience deserves better; that movies should be made by directors, producers, writers and actors with talent and vision, not by executives with accounting degrees. The problem is that, while movies continue to become more generic and formulaic, additional markets for them keep opening up. With the advent of home video, DVD, pay per view, premium cable and rapidly expanding foreign markets, it's gotten to the point where it is practically impossible for studios to lose money on even their worst films. So, why bother trying to make better ones? ^ ^ H ^ ^

North Avenue, Burlington, 8 6 3 - 6 0 4 0 . The Out of Towners 12:15, 4:45, 9. Shakespeare in Love 12, 2:15, 4:30, 7. 9:30. Ten Things I Hate About You 12:45, 3, 7:15, 9:15. Analyze This 2:30, 6:45. Never Been Kissed 12:30, 2:45, 7:30, 9:45. Friday, evening shows only. All shows daily.

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SHOWCASE C I N E M A S 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 8 6 3 - 4 4 9 4 . Wild Wild West* 11:45, 12:45, 2:15, 3:30, 4:45, 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:50. South Park* 12, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10. Big Daddy 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 7:05, 9:30. Notting Hill 12:15, 3:15, 6:3Q, 9:35. All shows daily.

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SUMMER OF SAM The latest from Spike Lee looks to be his most controversial since Do the

AN IDEAL HUSBAND Cate Right Thing. Lee directed and coBlanchett, Minnie Driver and wrote this portrait of a Bronx Jeremy Northam star in director neighborhood in the grip of a Oliver Parkers adaptation of heat wave and a serial killers reign Oscar Wildes 1895 satire about a of terror. Families of some of London society couple coming David Berkowitzs victims have apart at the seams. Rupert Everett criticized Lee for making the picand Julianne Moore co-star. ture. But then, so has Berkowitz. (PG-13) AMERICAN PIE There's Something John Leguizamo and Mira Sorvino star. (R) About Mary meets Porky's in this SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER envelope-pushing comedy about AND UNCUT Everybody's favorite high school friends who concoct little terrors make it to the big a plan to lose their virginity by screen in what I would guess to prom night. Jason Biggs and be the first major studio cartoon Chris Klein star. Brother Paul to sport an anti-censorship and Chris Weitz direct. (R) theme. Featuring the vocal WILD WILD WEST What would stylings of Trey Parker, Matt the 4th of July be without an Stone and Isaac Hayes. (R) action-packed, effects-driven bigscreen free-for-all from Will Smith? Well, quieter, for one thing. This year the actor celebrates by playing a very updated Jim West in Barry {Men in Black) Sonnenfelds $100-million adaptation of the classic CBS series. (PG-13)

new on video THE MIGHTY**" 2 Sharon Stone plays the devoted mother of a seriously ill child in this star-

packed drama featuring, among others, Gillian Anderson, Gena Rowlands and Macaulay's baby brother, Kieran Culkin. (PG-13) RUSHMORE**** From Bottle Rocket director Wes Anderson comes this comedy about an unusual love triangle involving a teacher, a college student and his tycoon mentor. Olivia Williams, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray star. (R) THE THIN RED LINE**" 2 Badlands director Terrence Malick doesn't make a new movie very often, but when he does, it's an event. The second World War II epic of the past year is based on the 1962 novel by James Jones and features performances by Sean Penn, Nick Nolte and George Clooney, among many others. (R) VARSITY BLUES***" 2 Lost interest in the sport of basketball altogether? You might want to give this saga of life and love on the gridiron a try. James Van Der Beek stars. (R)

meet their makers

You know them, you love them, but do you recognize them? Above are photos of four of the country's most famous movie directors. Your job, once more, is to match a famous name to each face.

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r a t i n g s c a l e : * — * * * * * NR = not reviewed A WALK ON THE MflON*** rationalized, it hasn't been done by Rosie O'Donnell, Minnie Actor Tony Goldwynmakes his Driver and Tony Goldwyn debut behind the camera with before. So here you go — an this '60s-set comedy about a umpteenth and totally animated square couple who get sucked new take on the same old story. into the counterculture. Liev NOTTING H I L L * * * * Hugh Schreiber, Diane Lane and Grant and Julia Roberts are Viggo Mortensen star. (R) teamed for this media-age fairy THE GENERAL'S DAUGHTER*" 2 tale about a regular joe who John Travolta and Madeleine stumbles into a love affair with Stowe star in the big-screen vera world-famous actress. Gina sion of Nelson DeMille's 1992 best-seller about a warrant offi- - McKee and Rhys I fans co-star. Roger Michell directs. (PG-13) cer looking into a particularly STAR WARS EPISODE 1: THE vicious murder. James Woods PHANTOM MENACE** Forget co-stars. Simon (Con Air) West the Force — may the No-Doz directs. (R) be with you if you decide to sit TEA WITH MUSSOLINI**" 2 through George Lucas' overDirector Franco Zeffirelli draws hyped and under-written saga from childhood memories for about Jedi knights (Liam this story about a small Italian Neeson and Ewan McGregor) boy raised by three eccentric trying to save a planet from English women when his mothinvasion. The dialogue is stuner dies. Featuring Judi Dench, ningly banal. Ditto the new Joan Plowright, Maggie Smith characters and most of the and Cher. (PG) derivative action sequences. AUSTIN POWERS: THE SPY Short on warmth and humor, WHO SHAGGED ME*** What and way long on computer could be groovier? Mike Myers imaging, the director succeeds is back as everybody fiivorite less as a fleshed-out story than man of mystery; Heather as an ad for his special effects Graham, Rob Lowe and Robert business, and an opportunity to Wagner join himrfor this second make millions in merchandising battle between the:forcesof ; tie-ins. (PG) good and evil. (PG-13)

TARZAN***"2 With

more than 50 big-screen versions of the Edgar Rice Burroughs classic already on the shelves, you might have thought it's all been done before. Disney execs thought differently. Hey, they

ANALYZE THIS***"2

Harold Rarnis has a knack for memorable, smarter-than-average comedies, and this looks like it might make his hit list one longer. Billy Crystal plays a suburban shrink. Robert De Niro

co-stars as his newest patient, a powerful mob boss. With Lisa Kudrow. (R) NEVER BEEN KISSED*** Drew Barrymore stars here as a Chicago magazine writer who researches a piece on today's youth by going undercover and attending high school And Raja Gosnell directs. David Arquette co-stars. (PG-13) THE 0UT-0F-T0WNERS*** From the director of George of the Jungle comes this update of Neil Simons 1970 comedy about a couple whose marriage and sanity are put to the test by a visit to New York. Goldie Hawn and Steve Martin star. (PG-13) TEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU**" 2 You'd never guess it by looking at our mean I.Q. scores, but we're apparently a nation of rabid Shakespeare fanatics. First there was that Best Picture Oscar. Now The Taming of the Shrew gets updated as the story of a popular sophomore who's forbidden to have a boyfriends until her older sister gets one, too. Julia Stiles and Larisa Oleynik star. (PG-13) SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE*** John {Mrs. Brown) Madden directs this wisely praised look at what the early years of the bard's career and love life might have been like. Joseph Fiennes and Gwyne^bi Pal trow star. (R)

For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday, and Sunday on News Channel 5!

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Hell or High Water Continued from page 13

rodent behind the wheel advanced to Plan B in his mating ritual. I asked to use the bathroom. Fluff-heads get so worked up over blood, but its totally nontraumatic. It happens to warthogs and orangutans, too, and they deal without griping. I said that to Julia, Queen Lipliner Consultant, in the locker room just the week before. She got that snarl on her face she reserves especially for me and Ms. Alvarez, but at least it shut her up. Sabrina was plodding around behind the bar, looking like Tonya Harding did after the whole Nancy Kerrigan thing. When I came out, she didn't ask me where Mom was. She just said, "What can I get you, Andy?" You gotta love her for that, especially when you've got a name like Melinda. Someday, I'll walk into a place and they won't say anything but, "Hey, Andy!" and have my Virgin Grasshopper waiting before I even get to my stool. I opened my notebook to write and had gotten as far as the snow falling like tissues ripped fresh from the box when the music started. Sullen guys playing country. A couple got up to dance. The woman, old enough to be her fella's mother, was wearing a miniskirt and a tan that made her a sure contender for the melanoma awards. They scooted around like angels had brought them together. It was enough to make you become a nun. I tried to write more, but who can think about things like maple syrup boiling in the shed when there's a guitar weeping in your ears? They played "Desperado" and I saw Sabrina wipe a tear. The door banged open and belched in a man with thick hair, dusty gunbelt and rusted spurs. He filled up the doorway, scanning the bar for a phone booth where he could scrap his mousy gray suit, that troublesome sales-rep-fromD.C.-or-New Jersey disguise, and get down to business. He needed a bath and a bed, but he swaggered over next to me. I could smell something on him like grief and Old Spice. I gulped my grasshopper to cover the stench. He didn't order a drink. Instead, he barked, "Sugar, gimme yer best steak, blood-rare." Sabrina filled up a tumbler with something the color of Mom's fake gold earrings, or "gold-esque," she likes to say. She plopped it in front of him then went back to lip-syncing. You better let somebody love you... "Whaddya say, kid?" he "Do I have to answer that?" "Guess I wouldn't if I were He hefted himself up onto ; stool next to mine without

iage 42

SEVEN DAYS

visit Walden a year?" I asked. -words his left hand was hiding. eons actually to get it. I wasn't P. "Walden who?" she saicf?" just writing, I '-vrS^n^i^rl Laying a twenty on the % Then Jal<e*was there, coming an insignificant difference. We're counter, he blew a kiss to ^ up behind me and giving me a not talking fullback versus runSabrina, who stretched her: lips noogie. I was only partway ning back, we're talking On the into what looked more like a through my Coke and my first Bench versus In the Game. steamed oyster than a smile. He sentence. He shimmied to the "What are you writing? scooted the napkin my way and two-step and winked at Sabrina. About the sea?" whispered, "Taste what's on your "How'd you find me?" I "Nah. Nothing left to say. plate before you go adding A-l." asked. Hemingway, you know." I Then he was gone, taking my Sabrina answered. "Sorry, scowled. best pen with him and not even Andy. Didn't want you walking "So much disgust! For this offering a lift to the highway. alone?" place?" He laughed with a revoltThe napkin said, To whom it So, the one I was supposed to ing snort, like gunk getting may concern: Don't go making watch out for had been right blown out of a chimney. Not that deals with the devil. Hell always under my nose. I pulled out my I know anything about chimneys. win. last $5 bill, but Sabrina put her "Isn't that why you vacation I got a flash of Felix Carrera hand up, winked at me, and said, here? Blue sky and all?" behind my eyes, bullying me to "Don't even. It's on the house." "I live here," I said. fight. Then the band produced a Nice try, traitor. I thanked He looked into the drink he fiddle and hit me over the head her because I was sure to get the called steak, wishing he had a with "Devil Went Down to big screech-fest from Mom if she fork to eat it with. Tipping it, he Georgia." Too bad Moms at found out I'd been rude. I was on said "Here's to coming home." home with those Neanderthals my way to Canada for sure now, He tossed back the whole goldand their card-trick magic. The Walden or no Walden. esque thing. real thing was at Flanagan's Then Sabrina was either Then, "You think one man tonight. nasty, or thick, enough to say, finished the job?" Sabrina tossed her hair, if "No thanks necessary. Just put "What?" something that tired could be me in one of your stories one "Hemingway." called a toss, and she said to me, day." He asked. I let it out. Kept "Lemme give you a Coke? All Yeah, you can count on it. my voice down. I told him about that ice cream'll make you sick." Bartender waits all her life to get my plan to go to Canada. How I I thought that sounded fine — rich and go sing opera in Italy. would pass through Walden Grasshopper, Coke chaser. Mrs.

"Why is a manhole round?" the guy asked no one in particular "Because people are round?" I said. "No," said Sabrina. "It's stable, you know?" Somewhere ,„ Sabrina had become an interrogative addict, steadily injecting her speech with rising inflections. She needs 12-Step. "Most stable shape," he nod-

june30, 1999

told Mom about my period after she kicked Jake and Sid out so I could get some sleep. She asked me if I was okay. Of course I was, especially since she didn't hold a press conference about it. She even paid me back for the pads. After tucking me in, she stood in the front door. I could see the cool light on her face, prettier than all that cancerous sun, but she never listened to me. The moon was so full, round like a manhole, and I wanted to go right through the door and fall in. I was tired enough, so I plunged a little. Into the roundness. Felix flash-flooded me again and I felt the way he pushed up against me in the hallway. An \ ache started in the place where my boobs threatened to be. - - Great. Now I'm going soft. I might as well forgive Sabrina for making me come home. I turned over on my stomach, but I kne\y/'' Wins the lottery, but one of her Alvarez tries in the lunchroom. it was futile. V? customers uses the ticket as an She'll say, "Eat your fruit, not Mom asked me again if I was ashtray, and she's doomed to a just your pizza!" and just sounds okay. She meant more than my life of pouring bourbon for like a powdery old lady singing body, but she didn't move to scruffy businessmen from D.C. in church. But Sabrina, she's like come hear my answer. She filled That's the best deal you get. gospel, all raw and on time. the doorway like Harvey-what'sI left the bill on the counter. She filled my glass. "Don't his-name-Dahmer, who was mind that guy. He's nice. Just probably on the beach stairs still hungry. You know? For talk." looking for whatever he lost. n the way out of the parkYeah. I know. Nice and hunWe'd be having steak for dining lot, I saw someone gry. Like Jeffrey Dahmer. I ner the next few days, at least standing at the edge of the looked around but couldn't tell wooden stairway leading down to until Jake got stupid and forgot where Satan might be tonight. It why he'd promised. I figured I'd the beach. Harvey. Just standing was just the band and ol' at least wait till then to start there, gripping the rail, the wind Samsonite-skin dancing with her thumbing it on 1-95. Since I've lifting his jacket up like air in the man. gone mushy anyway, I'm holding cotton-candy machine over by Sabrina disappeared into the out that Harvey's wrong about the pier. Water crashed at the back and brought out a pen and devils. foot of the stairs, full of sharks a Tupperware of scaly chicken I was almost asleep when I and devils. I watched till we wings. "Leftovers from Happy heard Mom whisper. "What'd turned onto Decatur Street and I Hour," she said. you write?" couldn't see anymore. He hadn't I turned the napkin over and "Just the one thing," I said. moved the whole time, standing wrote, Dear Sir: I regret to inform " The moon is as full as a filet against the clear sky, all stars and you that your warning comes too mignon." that full moon. In the morning, late. They can take the Yankees I didn't open my eyes, but I there would be solid ripples out of the Big Apple, but they know she looked out to see for where the ocean dragged itself can't take the maple out of herself.® back out, at least until the bareCanadian trees. foot runners came along at dawn "Harvey," Sabrina said. Shannon Williams has lived nine and broke it up again. "Comes down every few months. years in Vermont, though she spent Jake looked over, tapped my Stays with his mom." She bent the past winter in Dallas, where "I notebook. "You gonna read us down, whispering. "She's a litprobed the literary scene, fleshed out something at home?" tle..." She tapped her head, my cowgirl roots, and brought back "Nah, I just want to go to "...loose-lidded?" the seeds of Vermont's first regular. bed." I was suddenly exhausted. "He grew up here?" Poetry Slam series" (at Rhombus '' Hadn't even unpacked my "Born and raised. Before, you Gallery). She works at the COTS clothes and I needed something know? Beaches weren't so white,* Family Shelter and has a baby besides the same sour jeans. 'Sand I didn't ask which white she daughter. "Hell or High Water" k the meant, but it probably had some- in everything. first fiction she's submitted anywhere, "Hang in there, kid," he said. thing to do with his mom being though she has a self-j. - "Gotta stop at the store.- ' off. / book called Smirt T h e clock ^ l ^ T f a .

e scooted the napkin my way and whis Ipered, "Taste what's on your plate before! you go adding A- 1." Then he was gone,r taking my best pen with mm ffering a lift to the highway. Pond and make sense of it all. Maybe catch a game at Yankee Stadium. He hollered for a side of potatoes and said to me, "Walden's a state park. Fiftythousand-something visitors a year. And Steinbrenner is threatening to move the Yankees to Jersey." He picked up my pen and started writing on a bar napkin. What was wrong with this loser? Mom always says she should date the suits but can't get up the juice. I'll report that it's okay because they're psychopaths anyway. This mushy man probably does wear girdles and chains virgins in the basement with a Polaroid. Probably trying to get me in his trunk. If that happened, Mom would never say, "An 87, Melinda, is a B+. A good grade. Don't take yourself so seriously." Not after getting kidnapped by the Dark Knight of Cheap Cologne.

must be out of beer." "You are.one helluva sass,"~fie *** buttered. "Guess.,1 know wliBrtt you get it." He pulled into the v i A&P parking lot. "Come with me," he said. "You gotta vouch I didn't steal." "What are you getting, you need me for?" "Filet mignon, right from the butcher's," he said, grinning. He came around to open my door. "It's day one of week one, and your mama needs some steak." He breathed deep. "Can't you feel it? Something is in the air." "Yeah. Hurricane Hormone's in the forecast," I said. He let me wait in the car.

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Weed It & Reap You Say Tomato 0

B Y W A R R E N SCHULTZ

family-farm growers. What that means is that they rely on neophyte farmers and Luddite back-to-the-landers to grow the seeds in their backyards. They entrust their production to people whose idea of quality control is invoking the earth sprites in

emember the Great Tomato Massacre of 1998? In the midst of this heat wave, can you recall how cool, wet weather allowed late blight to arrive early, and early blight to linger late? Remember how all the talk around town — among gardeners, anyway — was of anthracnose, fusarium, leaf spot? Remember BLTs without the Ts? Remember the rationing at the farmers' markets, the tomato riots? Worst, remember the shame of settling for Jerseygrown tomatoes in August? The crisis has passed. This summer, as bluegrass turns to brown on lawns across Vermont, tomato plants are thriving. Finally, it's hot and dry enough to produce that rarest of all Vermont commodities — the ripe tomato. Hopefully you weren't discouraged by last year's outcome and have planted your crop of tomatoes. Even if you haven't, with the type of summer this promises to be there still may be time — if you choose the right variety. Even perfect weather won't matter if you haven't planted the right seeds. That old computer programmer motto holds true in gardening as well: Garbage in, garbage out. If you've been reading any of the recent garden press, you know that this is where I'm supposed to wax rapturous over the virtues of the old-fashioned, open-pollinated, so-called heirloom tomato varieties. You know, the ones with the evocative names: Radiator Charlie, Mortgage Lifter, Green Zebra. The ones accompanied by stories of how they saved the family farm, or paid for the spinster daughter's wedding, or helped to feed the troops at the Battle of Whatever. The seeds were handed down over decades, maybe even centuries, in a mayonnaise jar somewhere in the Ozarks or Smoky Mountains.

a harvest dance, and whose idea of seed storage technology is a shoe box in the woodshed. Diverted by the tall tales, most gardeners overlook the obvious question: If these varieties were so great, why did they disappear in the First place? Why have they been replaced by hybrids? Sure, most of these old varieties have the potential to taste better than recent hybrids, but it's a crapshoot. You start rolling the dice the minute you place your order for seeds. For instance, I was told by one seedsman that there may be 40 or 50 strains of tomatoes carrying the name Brandywine, the most famous heirloom tomato. So when you order, you have no assurance that you're getting the genuine, honestto-goodness Brandywine that made the world safe for democracy. Even if you do get the right one, you won't have the opportunity to enjoy its famous flavor if it refuses to ripen in Vermont's typically short season. And it probably won't. Furthermore, most of those old varieties have no disease resistance and very little vigor.

You've heard sagas about how the seeds were lost, found, lost again, rediscovered, rescued, and are now sold to you as a public service by some hippie-dippy little seed company, which may or may not be owned by a multinational conglomerate. These companies tout their network of low-tech

We don't have the luxury of fooling with those novelties if our aim is tomatoes, and lots of 'em. You can't eat stories. You can't slice a name and slather it with mayonnaise. Trying to grow an heirloom in Vermont is like trying to win the Indy 500 in an old V W bug. Yes, it's cute, and, sure you'll feel

noble making the effort. But will you make it to the Finish line? In my opinion it's better to go with a good old reliable hybrid, bred for speed, productivity, disease resistance and — believe it or not flavor. I'm not talking

VERMONT'S LARGEST SELECTION OF CERTIFIED ORGANIC PLANTS

FRESH CERTIFIED ORGANIC

Herb

Trying to grow an heir-. loom in Vermont is like ^ trying to win the Indy 5 0 0 in an old VW bug. Yes, it s cute, and sure, you' eel noDie making the , effort. But will you make it to the finish line

about the new gene-spliced varieties with Fish genes shot into them, or the recent spate of bushy plants that produce perfectly uniform, # rock-hard, baseball-sized fruit. I'm talking about the fresh-market tomatoes created in the golden days of hybrids, the 1960s, when flavor still counted for something. I'm talking about old hybrids, such as Moreton, that I remember from my days on the family farm. Hybrid or not, that tomato beat the famous Brandywine in a taste test I conducted a few years back. Those old hybrids are disappearing, too, replaced by newer, sexier models. And once they're gone, they're really gone, because as hybrids, second-generation seed won't grow true to type. They have to be recrossed every year. Even now, you'll have a hard time Finding Moretons, but you can still buy others like Fantastic, Jet Star and Big Boy — the original hybrid tomato. So if you've planted nothing but heirlooms this year, you might want to run down to the garden center and see if you can find a few overgrown hybrid tomato plants. Even after a month's head start, they'll still beat heirlooms to the salad bowl. Then, come August, when that first fall frost lurks over the mountains, you can either be telling stories or wiping tomato juice from your chin. ®

PRODUCE:

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There

By Margaret Levine Young and Jordan Young

badly that they were charging

unusual), or reject it (which is

$ 5 extra to purchase tickets

what h a p p e n s most of the

over the p h o n e . As you can

time).

imagine, that didn't last long. But almost all airlines, includ-

O n the other h a n d ,

u m m e r is n o w in full

ing American, USAir a n d

auction.com) is a real auction.

C a n a d i a n , offer deals that are

T h e y offer tickets a n d you bid

us that m e a n s vacation

only available o n the W e b . All

o n w h a t you're interested in.

of this w o u l d m a k e m o r e sense

For a m o r e traditional

best way t o get f r o m Point A to

if the airlines' W e b sites worked

approach, there are n u m e r o u s

Point B, there's m o r e help to be

better. By a n d large we have

on-line travel agencies w h o use

f o u n d on the W e b t h a n in all

f o u n d t h e m to be slow a n d dif-

the N e t to extend their reach

the m a p s in y o u r glove c o m -

ficult to use. T h e otherwise

nationally. O u r favorite is A

partment.

Getting there by car Computer-aided mapping has been the rage for a couple of years now, a n d the W e b offers a few m a j o r sites a n d an

i n n u m e r a b l e crowd of smaller ones. T h e obvious ones are Yahoo M a p s ( h t t p : / / m a p s . yahoo.com) and Microsoft Expedia (http://www.exped i a m a p s . c o m ) , b u t o u r favorite is MapBlast ( h t t p : / / w w w . m a p blast.com). All of t h e m let you type in the location you're leaving f r o m and the location you're driving to, either as a zip

The Web works w for domestic travel, tout for complicated international fares, you're better off with good travel agent. Trip By M o d e m (http://www.

age quality a n d h o w nicely they

Airlines has a moderately infor-

a t b m . c o m ) . Margy's brother is

present the results. For exam-

mative W e b site that is p r o n e to

so addicted to c o m p a r i n g o n -

ple, there are s o m e virtues to

telling you that you can't get

line air travel o p t i o n s that he

being the biggest, baddest goril-

there f r o m here. T h e r e are, however, a host of non-airline sites that will sell

com/airline. His experience is

you tickets. T h e s e sites are

that the W e b works well for

M i d d l e b u r y to Montreal's

almost all different "faces" of

domestic travel, b u t for compli-

Dorval Airport. For those of us

the same three travel sites: T h e

cated international fares, you're

near the n o r t h e r n border,

I n t e r n e t Travel N e t w o r k

better off with a good travel agent.

Expedia seems to be the only

( h t t p : / / w w w . i t n . c o m ) , Travel-

o n e w i t h driving directions for

ocity (http://www.travelocity.

C a n a d a . But y o u m i g h t take

c o m ) , a n d M i c r o s o f t again

W h a t to d o w h e n y o u get there

their r e c o m m e n d a t i o n s w i t h a

(http://www.expedia. com).

grain of salt: All the sites sug-

T h o s e three sites in turn are

gest g o i n g f r o m M i d d l e b u r y to

r u n f r o m the same three big

guides." W h e n you're g o i n g to

T h i s leads us to "destination

Boston by way of R u t l a n d . It

airline c o m p u t e r s : United's

a new place, you w a n t to d o

works, b u t its n o t o u r favorite

Galileo (for I T N ) , American

some research. That's w h y

route. A couple of m o n t h s ago

Airlines' Sabre (for Travelocity),

bookstores have such large trav-

they were r e c o m m e n d i n g the

a n d Northwest/Delta's W o r l d -

el book sections. And as your

b o n e - b r u i s i n g Bethel M o u n t a i n

span (for Expedia).

departure time draws near, you

Getting there by plane

O n e of the more interest-

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on-line editions of the newspa-

new marketplace is the online

pers serving the destination city

n o t i o n of negotiating for the

for u p - t o - d a t e information on events, restaurants and other

W e b has been o n e of the m o s t

this was Priceline (http://www.

attractions.

p o p u l a r areas o f e - c o m m e r c e .

priceline.com), b u t it's not an

W e ' h a v e f o u n d that, as usual,

a u c t i o n . You offer what you

T h e on-line edition of Bean-

the h y p e outpaces the reality.

w a n t to pay for tickets and

town's daily of record, The

At o n e p o i n t Delta w a n t e d peo-

"they" either take the deal

ple to use their W e b site so

(which seems to be pretty

Back to o u r Boston trip:

Continued on page 4 6

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Buying airline tickets o n the

185 P E A R L S T R E E T • D O W N T O W N B U R L I N G T O N • 8 6 4 - 7 9 1 7 L U N C H M - F 11:30-2 • D I N N E R 7 D A Y S 4 : 3 0 - 1 0 • W W W . P A R I M A T H A I . C O M

maintains a W e b page on the

tried, only M i c r o s o f t Expedia

easy, or advisable, going.

Pa/wvyvcu

subject at http://www.iecc.

can give directions f r o m

Road, w h i c h is a n y t h i n g b u t

Drinks • F o o d • A t m o s i ^ h ^ r e

DAILY CRAFT ACTIVITIES c o m m e n d a b l e Southwest

la in t o w n . O f all the sites w e

Cool

t t

code or as a street address. T h e services differ in cover-

• sales@sover.net • http://www.sover.net

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1,1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 45

* ;.V

'J -

Webwise

;

continued from page 4 5 Boston Globe, offers a calendar

WWW.

section ( h t t p : / / w w w . b o s t o n . c o m / g l o b e / c a l e n d a r / ) that covers t w o days. T h e W e b edition of the alternative weekly Boston Phoenix

(http://bostonphoenix.

com) offers a look at events — u n d e r "listings" — over an eight-

together.

day period. W i t h "gateway" sites, such as N e w c i t y ( h t t p : / / w w w . newcity.com), W e b users can call

net/

u p alternative weekly newspapers a r o u n d the c o u n t r y —

Seven

Days a m o n g t h e m — by scrolling t h r o u g h a m e n u . Obviously, destinations themselves are c o m p e t i n g for your a t t e n t i o n on the N e t — giving rise to W e b sites dispensing vast a m o u n t s of i n f o r m a t i o n on particular places. D e p e n d i n g on w h e r e you're going, these can

best deal of the summer/

be m o r e or less useful. A l t h o u g h there's plenty to c o m p l a i n a b o u t with Microsoft's software, their Sidewalk W e b site for Boston contains a couple of details we couldn't find elsewhere, i n c l u d i n g prices a n d h o u r s for several attractions

free Internet service and e-mail

(http://national.sidewalk.msn.co m/selectcity). T h e first time you

account 10 hours a month for

use it, they'll ask you to select a " h o m e " city, a n d after that they

2 months / when you sign up for

t h i n k you live there, b u t you can change the city by going back to

a new account by August 31 st /

the starting page.

local dial-up anywhere in the region / toll-free tech

h t t p : / / w w w . y a h o o . c o m a n d click

support 7 days a week complete with local experts /

of the page) is useful for getting

Yahoo's " G e t Local" (start at the G e t Local link at the b o t t o m an initial read on s o m e destina-

free software to get you started / easy set-up / free

tion that may be too small to have its own coverage in a place

courses guaranteed to make you net-competent / o n c e y o u try us y o u ' l l never c l i c k

like Sidewalk. Yahoo gathers all the W e b sites they can find that

back.

refer to a particular destination, a n d c o m b i n e it with publicly available i n f o r m a t i o n like the weather and maps. ( T h e y also have their own collection of i n f o r m a t i o n on m a j o r cities.) If you're going someplace big, or if you have a particular event

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in m i n d , don't forget to d o a W e b search in Yahoo, AltaVista, N o r t h e r n Light or Dogpile (just to n a m e a few p o p u l a r search engines). We did this recently

before a trip to N e w York City a n d were h a p p y to find a 4 0 perr Pasta

We'll be there.

• Pizza • Saute

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months. Vermont's s u m m e r weather is way too nice, so don't spend all your time W e b - s u r f i n g . W e actually hit the Web's travel sites on long w i n t e r nights w h e n just fantasizing a b o u t getting away is a tonic. But if you have a trip in m i n d , you can definitely save

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Margy Levine Young and Jordan Young write about the Web in Cornwall, Vermont. You can email them at MJ7days@gurus.com.

ARIES

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): I

invite you to celebrate your own personal version of Independence Day this week, Aries. For starters, declare your feisty autonomy in the face of unjust pressures, silly time-wasters, covert agendas, self-important authorities and guilt-tripping people who pretend to be nice. When you're finished with all that, turn your attention to another drain on your sovereignty: your monkey mind — you know, the frenzy of thoughts that endlessly flits through your imagination. If you can liberate yourself even a little from believing that every fleeting image is a gem of absolute truth, you will achieve the ultimate indepedence.

TAURUS

(Apr. 20-May 20):

To please his paramour Gala, Salvador Dali shaved his armpits until they bled and doused himself with a cologne composed of cow manure and fish glue. To win the heart of the enchantress Sophia back in 1984, I met her demand that I shoplift doll furniture from three different toy stores. The conditions that Dali and I agreed to are somewhat more stringent than the requests love will make of you in the coming week, Taurus — but not by much.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): I must admit I do not have the most composed relationship with greed. In truth, it riles me up. I judge avaricious people harshly. I constantly monitor myself for signs I'm asking for too much. And in all the years I've written this column, I don't believe I've ever counseled anyone to even flirt with piggishness — until now, that is. With some trepidation, hoping you won't take it the wrong way, I am hereby advising you to be more zealous in grabbing bigger pieces of every pie. Visualize the shocking picture of what it would mean for you to be thoroughly opportunistic, ravenous and acquisitive. Then flush away, oh, say, 60 percent of that picture, and add the remainder to your actual behavior.

ACROSS 1 Connecticut senator 5 Coagulate 9 E m m a of "Dynasty 1 4 Actor Burton 1 9 Always 2 0 Condor country 21 Downs (racetrack) 2 2 W h e r e the action is 2 3 Domestic feline 2 5 Carnival confection 2 7 Right fielder Tony 2 8 Hardware item 3 0 Shelley's Skylark" 31 T V s - P e o p l e Funny" 3 2 Buffalo • waterfront 3 4 Vacation location 3 8 High-pitched 4 1 Football Hall of Famer 4 8 Mandikova of tennis 47 Dawn Chong 4 8 Dramatist William 4 9 Wrong 5 1 Out of _ (Incompatible) 5 4 Evaluate

5 7 Obvious 5 9 Curator's concern 8 1 Copper or cobalt 8 2 Eat elegantly 6 3 Bottled spirit? 8 5 Cable channel 66Wlng-<fng 8 9 SlBy C a e s a r 7 0 Fam. 71" Vinton

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): Nostradamus' most famous prophecy will be tested this July. "In the year 1999 and seven months," he wrote in Century 10, Quatrain 72, "the great King of Terror will come from the sky. He will revive the spirit of the Mongols. Before and after war reigns happily." My own visions tell me, however, that the dude was wrong: There will be no king of terror coming from the sky, and no one will revive the spirit of the Mongols, and war will not reign happily. O n the contrary. I predict a Queen of Eros will come from the earth, and she will revive the spirit of sacred pleasure, and in response many people will be cured of their fear of sex and puritanical mistrust of the body. I further predict that you Cancerians will harvest her blessings more than all the other signs. L E O

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): For

only the second time this decade, the Triple Witching Hour is upon you, Virgo. Think you can handle it? It'll be extravagantly delicious, like a daily

9 6 Marker 9 9 Role tor Shirley 1 0 1 Myriads of moons 1 0 2 Exeter elevator 104 Cyd Charisse fflm 108 Wanness 1 1 0 Alan of "GDBgan's Island" 1 1 1 Undiluted 1 1 2 Say please 1 1 3 Former govt, agcy. 1 1 5 Pins 1 1 8 Installs a door 122 Tie's So Rne" group 1 2 8 Duke Ellington hit 1 3 0 Mediterranean Island 1 3 1 Kovacsor Pyte 132 T V s "Star " 1 3 3 Region 1 3 4 Bunch of bees 1 3 5 "Lorna " 1 3 6 Fairy-tale (tend 1 3 7 Chinese principle

7 8 Beifigerent bird 79 German valley 8 0 Ifs in the bag 8 1 Musical syllables 8 2 Director ' Nicolas 8 3 Shiba .(Japanese dog) 8 4 Library feature 8 6 Gerainfs better half 8 8 Parasite 9 2 G o m e r Pyte, for one 94Sophoctoan tragedy 9 6 Kayak accessory DOWN 9 7 Pro _ (proportionately)

(July 23-Aug. 22): Next time

you feel the emotional anguish that's been pricking you so much lately, try my special exorcism ritual. It's been tested under fire. First, throw thorns and burrs on the floor and roll all over them. Jump up, get a running start, and fling yourself against the wall shoulderfirst 10 or 15 times. Next, give yourself a good whipping with a plastic belt, and for a climax, drip globules of hot wax on your arms and legs. That ought to take your mind off the far-less-tangible aches and pains you've been entertaining. (P.S. T h e preceding was a sick joke designed to ignite explosive laughter that will expel all evil and d u m b spirits from your beautiful organism. Please do not harm yourself by actually carrying out the ridiculous instructions.)

quart of chocolate liqueur, or two months of Saturday nights, or a trip 10 years into the future and back. Remember, the Triple Witching Hour brings a climax in not just one longterm life cycle, but three. When you were young did you ever crawl into the washing machine and take a spin? The coming weeks will be like riding in a giant,..cushioned ivishingmachine.

FERE W I T H U P R O A R I O U S F U N A N D GAMES...FILL YOURSELVES W I T H RADICAL JOY, R E J E C T I N G ALL BOURGEOIS T E M P T A T I O N S T O WALLOW IN D E C A D E N T SECURITY...IN T H E N A M E O F DELIRIOUS DELIGHT, BE AS UNPREDICTABLE AS YOU DARE!

LIBRA

Dec. 21): Let's see if I've got this straight, Sagittarius. You're trying to tell me that the way out is the way in. Is that right? And that the "wrong" answer just might be the right answer? And that success, if it makes an appearance at all, will most likely happen by accident? I don't know, Sagittarius. This tricky, upside-down approach to life is more the specialty of saints and lunatics. Are you sure you're up for messing around with such crazy wisdom? If so, you'd better ask your shrewdest helpers to monitor you closely.

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22):

Writing in the New York Review of Books, Richard Jenkyns remarked on how little "millennial madness" there actually is. "If there is any excitement," he said, "iris the kind of excitement that surrounds Titanic or The Lion King — that is, one manufactured by commercial interests and wholly superficial." I agree. I thought I'd be more worked up about the countdown to 2000 by now, but life goes on with the same jumbled mix of corrosive banality and fleeting redemption, same as it ever was. No apocalyptic revelations loom, no climactic mutations are stirring. I will say, however, that I expect an epic, perhaps even monumental shift in the love lives of many Librans by year's end. If you respond to all the cosmic invitations to expand your intimacy skills, you'll have profound reasons to celebrate on December 31, 1999.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): C O M M U N I Q U E FROM T H E CLANDESTINE INDIGENOUS REVOLUTIONARY C O M M I T T E E IN C H A R G E O F T H E I N G E N I O U S LIBERATION O F ALL PEOPLE O F EARTH...ATTENTION ESPECIALLY T H O S E B O R N U N D E R T H E SIGN O F SCORPIO...YOU ARE T H E KEY T O DETONATING T H E NEXT PHASE O F T H E INSURRECT I O N . . . R O U S E YOURSELVES IMMEDIATELY FOR T H E GLORIO U S TASK O F S H A T T E R I N G ABSURD TABOOS T H A T INTER-

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

(Nov. 22-

(Dec. 22-Jan.

19): If you're a hermit living in a cave on a remote mountaintop, this would be a good week to hike down to civilization and bring a battery-operated T V back to your sanctuary. If you're a high-powered C E O who eats your competitors for breakfast on a regular basis, this is a perfect moment to visit a dominatrix and find out what it's like to be on the receiving end. If you're a subjective egomaniac who's pretty much lost in your own head all the time, it's prime time to figure out how to feelfloodsof empathy. Finally, if you're an average, super-organized Capricorn overachiever, the cosmos is inviting you to make a leisurely exploration of the most emotionally rich chaos you can scare up.

AQUARIUS

jnder the chronic illusion that yrou could change the qualities in lem that you didn't like so luch, while keeping the good Mparts? If so, be grateful for this weeks medicine. It may be bitter going down, but it'll feel sweet in your soft underbelly. W h e n the cure kicks in, you'll find yourself acting twice as smart in the intimate clinches.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): I love your pilgrim soul, Pisces, and I love your ever-deepening eyes. I love the lost treasure that's languishing undiscovered in the ofF-limits area of your psyche. I love how the old gods still swim through your blood and call to you in lyrical shrieks that no one else could possibly tune into, let alone understand. I love your past life during the Spanish Inquisition, I love every last one of your never-ending series of stunning spiritual conversions, and I love how you're like the chryanthemum, which needs long hours of darkness to bloom. This week, though, what I love most is the fact that your heart is as strong as a fist and as welcoming as a warm bath, and thus will conquer every obstacle with the fiercest tenderness you have ever invoked. ®

You can call Rob Brezsny, or night for

expanded weeMy horoscope

1-900-903-2500 $1.99

18): Did you really believe that sooner or later you'd get your loved ones "trained," Aquarius? Have you been

per

minute.

and

over.

Touchtone c/s And

(Jan. 20-Feb.

day

your

don't Rob's

phone, 612/373-9785

forget Web

to site

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www.rcalastrology.com/ Updated

Tuesday

night.

3 Submarine 4 3 Take a 9 1 Party breather base? animais? 4 4 Mellowed 4 Minnie of 93" never 4 5 Concoct The happen!" 5 0 Violinist Governess" 9 5 Director Isaac 5 N a v . rank Kazan 5 2 Jawaharial's 6 Speaker's 9 6 Walk Jacket stand 9 8 Attacked 53 three7 Algerian from above dmensional 1 0 0 " seaport Mash" 55 beaver 8 * 8 4 Peace C62 hit) 5 6 Pole,torone 1 0 3 Geometric Nobeiist 5 8 "What's _ 9 W i n e word points forme?" 1 0 5 Beer barrel 1 0 Gl's address 1 0 6 Actress 5 9 Soprano 11 Yellowstone Madeline Apiiie hrs. 1 0 7 Call _ (quit) 6 0 Lama, e.g. 1 2 Rock's _ 108"Fter 6 4 Imminent theHoopie 6 7 Mythical river 1 0 9 T h e Jungle 1 3 Presses . Book1 4 Fond du , 6 8 Nautical character adverb W1 1 1 2 Bk. con15CyVbung 7 1 Added veniences stat fringe 1 1 4 Natural 7 2 Hat part 1 6 Mercenary hairdo 7 3 Moon-related 1 7 Conductor 7 4 1 3 2 Across 1 1 6 Concerning Kostelanetz 1 1 7 Actress character 1 8 "Martha the Helgen7 5 Jeeves' Mouth" berger profession 2 4 Actor B w e s 1 1 9 "A Doll's 7 8 Car scar 2 6 Former House" 7 7 Set's sibling Japanese heroine 7 8 Walter capital 1 2 0 Valley Mare 2 9 Carol opener 1 2 1 Metal refuse 3 3 Wacflng 81 Total _ " 1 2 3 Mid. bird ("90 film) 1 2 4 Over3 5 U s e d a visor 8 4 Periwinkle, dramatic for one 3 6 Inadequate thespian 8 5 Muscle and 3 7 Basketball's 1 2 5 Lennon's fat Patrick lady 3 9 H a p p e n next 8 7 M o v e like a mouse 1 2 6 Diarist Anais 4 0 Salutes the 1 2 7 Observe 8 9 Paradise moon

page 47

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-V

Wjm*

deadline: monday, 5 pm • phone 802.864.5684 • fax 802.865.1015 L I N E ADS: 2 5 words for $ 7 . Over 2 5 words: 3 0 0 a word. Longer running ads are discounted. Ads must be prepaid. DISPLAY ADS: $ 1 3 per col. inch. Group buys for employment display ads are available with the Addison Independent, the St. Albans Messenger, the Milton Independent and the Essex Reporter. Call for more details. VISA and MASTERCARD accepted. And cash, of course.

EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT

HEALT

ENVIRONMENTAL SERVICE WORKERS - He/she will perform total cleaning and disinfecting o f patiept and nonpatient rooms and areas. May operate floor machines, buffers and carpet e n a c t o r s . Heavy lifting required. All shifts and locations available. Starting salary based on background and skills, w i t h a m i n i m u m o f $ 7 . 2 8 per hour.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT: Vermont Film Commission seeks motivated, energetic individual to provide administrative support for the executive team. Assist in promoting Vermont as a location for film, television and commercial productions. General office, computer and organizational skills necessary. Resume and letter to: Vermont Film Commission, PO Box 129, Montpelier, VT 0 5 6 0 1 . No phone calls, please.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT: Together Networks is seeking a full-time Administrative Assistant to support the Executive Team. Must possess excellent communication, word processing and customer service skills. Must also have the ability to work in a fast-paced environment. Experience in Microsoft Word & Excel required. Internet experience preferred. Together Networks is an EOE offering an outstanding benefits package and

career advancement opportunities. Please send resume and salary requirements to resumes@together.net or to Human Resources, Together Networks, 2 0 8 Flynn Ave., Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 .

DIFFERENTIALS! Differential paid: .49 eve., .99 night, .74 weekend.

BENEFITS! Complete benefit package f o r you and your family! Benefits include Medical and Dental insurance, Retirement plans, Life insurance, paid vacation and tuition reimbursement. OPEN INTERVIEW TIME ON TUESDAY, JULY 6 FROM 10AM TO 1PM AT FAHC, HUMAN RESOURCES, BURGESS BUILDING, 111 COLCHESTER AVENUE, BURLINGTON, VT 0S401. Fletcher Allen offers a comprehensive benefits package and competitive salaries for full and part-time employees. To apply, use our on-line resume builder at www.fahc.org or e-mail your cover letter and resume to: fahcjobs@vtmednet.org (no attachments) or mail to: HR, FAHC, 111 Colchester Avenue, Burlington, VT 05401. Scannable resumes should be on white paper with standard fonts, no bold, underline or italics please. Reference Job Title and Job Code. EOE. •

Looking for a Career Change? Looking for Experience with Non-profits and Community Building? Want to be part of Positive Change in Burlington?

Vermont Symphony Orchestra

BONUS! Quarterly bonus paid f o r w o r k i n g evenings/ nights when m i n i m u m requirements are met.

DIRECTOR OF MARKETING Experienced, creative, tenacious team player sought to develop organizational image and awareness to maximize earned revenue potential statewide. Full-time position starting September 1, 1999 with competitive salary and benefits package. Send resume, three+ references, sample materials and cover letter by July 12 to: Marketing Search, Vermont Symphony Orchestra, 2 Church Street, Burlington, VT 05401

-ilPrice

Chopper

Burlington's Community and Economic Development Office, in partnership with local non-profit agencies, is seeking motivated team players for one year, full-time AmeriCorps*VISTA positions. AmeriCorps* VISTA positions are currently available at: Burlington Police Department, I ReCycle North, COTS, Flynn Theatre, Burlington High j School, Burlington Boys & Girls Club, Women's Small | Business Program, Burlington Housing Authority, and the * Community Network for Children, Youth and Families. | Monthly stipend of $751, health insurance, and $4,725 edu• cation award. People of color, women, persons with ... | disabilities are encouraged to apply. » For more information, please call A* VISTA Leader Andrew Huff at 865-7169. L* 1

Looking for a way To make a difference with kids? Join us in our mission to prepare teens with learning difficulties for personal success. Pine Ridge School needs curious, passionate, caring individuals, to work on its residential team for the '99-'00 Academic Year. Live on and live off positions available. Experience or education in the Experiential, Outdoor, Special or Physical Education field a plus. Send resume and Cover letter to Ann O'Shaughnessy, 1075 Williston Rd, Williston, VT 05495.

SUPERMARKETS

dge School 1075 Williston R o a d • Williston. VT 0 5 4 9 5 (802)434-2161 • Fax (802) 4 3 4 - 5 5 1 2

SHELBURNE RD. - BURLINGTON

• IMMEDIATE INTERVIEWS • PART-TIM E A N D F U LL-TIM E POSITIONS AVAILABLE ALL DEPARTMENTS • EXCELLENT BENEFITS •

tfeI

APPLY IN P E R S O N FOR A N IMMEDIATE INTERVIEW AT O U R S H E L B U R N E R O A D STORE. TIME: 9 A M - 6 P M M O N DAY - SATU RDAY OR CALL 1 -888-670-5627

BAKER & COOK NEEDED: Full-time..Seeking hard-working, team-oriented, playful individuals w/ high integrity & real exp. Visit Avery or Tim at Stone Soup, 2 1 1 College St., Burlington. No calls.

DIRECTOR OF HOUSING DEVELOPMENT N o n p r o f i t agency seeks e x p e r i e n c e d , self-reliant director o f h o u s i n g d e v e l o p m e n t . T h i s senior-level m a n a g e m e n t p o s i t i o n is r e s p o n s i b l e for c r e a t i n g a variety o f a f f o r d a b l e f a m i l y h o u s i n g in n o r t h w e s t V e r m o n t . Experience in all a s p e c t s o f h o u s i n g d e v e l o p m e n t including securing land u s e / z o n i n g p e r m i t s , c r e a t i n g pro f o r m a s , w r i t i n g g r a n t / l o a n applications and working with c o m m u n i t y groups is necessary. S t a r t i n g salary is $ 4 0 , 0 0 0 t o $ 4 3 , 0 0 0 . S e n d r e s u m e to: Lake C h a m p l a i n H o u s i n g D e v e l o p m e n t C o r p o r a t i o n 2 2 0 Riverside A v e n u e Burlington, V T 05401 Ar\ Equal Opportunity

Employer

Onion River Coop seeks lull-time organized* hard-working candidate to join our Bulk Team. Responsibilities include receiving deliveries, stocking, and outstanding customer service. The Onion River Coop offers medical insurance, paid time off, employee discounts. Applications available at our store. 114 N. Winooski Avenue, Burlington.

Customer Support Marketing: Local distribution for C a n a d i a n manufacturer seeking self-motivated, creative person to help support the Customer Service dept. for our medical weight loss division in a variety of tasks, also to assist our marketing director in various projects. Please send resume to: P.O. Box 6 5 0 6 9 , Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 6 .

jven so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to republication, Mity for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven •7Z: edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without c o m m e n t or appeal.

70 Classifieds • 864.5684 EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT EMPLOYMENT CREATIVE SELF-STARTERS wanted for summer production help in Winooski T-shirt company. Ideal for students & others. Full-time & part-time. Call 654-7445.

LEONARDO'S PIZZA NOW HIRING for cooks, phones & drivers. Great pay, fun environment, flexible hours. Apply in person at 8 3 Pearl St., Burlington. See Dave.

MANICURIST: Rental space available for licensed manicurist/pedicurist with own equipment. Part-time/Full-time position available. For appointment, call 6 5 5 - 8 2 0 2 .

DISHWASHER (PART-TIME) & COUNTER HELP: Hard-working and good-tempered. Please see Avery or Tim at Stone Soup, 2 1 1 College St., Burlington. No phone calls, please.

LINE COOKS: Exp. line cooks wanted for high-volume, quality-conscious, fast-paced kitchen. Must be fast, even tempered, reliable & team player. Apply to VT Pub & Brewery, 144 College St., Burlington.

MODEL: Pursuing hobby for summer months. Need parttime person for outside shots. Reply to Brian, Box 3 3 2 , 150 Dorset St., So. Burlington, VT 05403.

Planned Parenthood"

of Northern New England

Clinical Information System Administrator Seeking an energetic individual with excellent communication and organizational skills to join the IS team at PPNNE. This position will provide primary support and maintenance for the practice management software system. Responsibilities include: V Providing support and training for staff V Reporting and auditing V Maintaining system integrity V Implementing system changes Qualifications for this include: V Bachelor's degree in related field plus one to three years of experience with medical billing systems. V Project-management and facilitation skills required. (Must have a working knowledge of Windows 95 and MS Office.)

Information System Coordinator Looking for a well organized, energetic, self-learner to join the IS team at PPNNE. This entry-level position will: V Provide support for a busy IS department V Provide end user PC, application, and network support. Qualifications for this position include: V Associates degree in related field plus two to four years of relevant practical experience, or a combination of comparable education and experience. V Must have a working knowledge of Windows 95, MS Office, and Networking UNIX experience a plus. Planned Parenthood offers a terrific work environment, great benefits, and committed, friendly co-workers.

O-BREAD BAKERY: Hard-working, strong individuals for baking and related jobs. Full-time or part-time. Call 9 8 5 - 8 7 7 1 . RESTAURANT: "CHEF de PARTIE." Strong culinary background required, great working environment. Days only. Competitive wage. COOKS: culinary background preferred. Professional kitchen with a strong learning opportunity. Call for appt. between 2:30 p.m.—5 p.m. Chef Corner Cafe's, Williston, 8 7 8 - 5 5 2 4 .

Customer Service Representatives: These permanent part-time positions include telephone and in-person window ticket sales. Strong interpersonal skills required as well as accuracy and speed in data entry. Daytime, evening and weekend hours available.

Bookkeeper:

Part-time position, audits daily box

office receipts. Familiarity with basic accounting principles and strong attention to detail required.

To apply for these positions, mail a letter and resume, or complete an application in the administrative offices o f the Flynn Theatre, 153 Main Street, Burlington, V T 05401. N o phone calls please. EOE.

WINDJAMMER HOSPITALITY GROUP

W E ARE SEEKING THE FOLLOWING PROFESSIONAL HOSPITALITY PEOPLE TO JOIN OUR TEAM: NIGHT PORTER/ROOM ATTENDANTS — F T , e v e . &

day shifts, s o m e w e e k e n d hours.

MAINTENANCE TECHNICIAN — FT, n e e d valid driver

license, 1 year general m a i n t e n a n c e experience.

DISHWASHER/PREP COOK — FT, nights & w e e k Interested candidates should send a cover letter and resume to: IS/Telecommunications Manager Planned Parenthood of Northern New England 183 Talcott Road, Suite 101 Williston, VT 05495 Equal Opportunity Employer

Straight

Dear Cecil, Is it true that ducks can have one side of their brain sleep while the other side remains awake? And how can I, as a struggling graduate student, learn to do the same thing? — Olivia, via AOL Yes, I can see where this would be a handy skill. Unfortunately, unless your ancestors include birds or aquatic mammals, you're not

e n d hours.

All jobs are year-round, g o o d starting w a g e s & benefits included. A p p l y to Best W e s t e r n W i n d j a m m e r Inn & C o n f e r e n c e Center, 1 0 7 6 Williston Rd., So. Burlington.

going to come by it naturally. One might try slicing one's brain down the middle, thereby permitting the left and right hemispheres to operate independendy, but I cannot in good conscience recommend this. So you're stuck with No-Doz for now. Birds and aquatic mammals are capable of unihemispheric slow-wave sleep (USWS), which means they can sleep with one eye open and one hemisphere of the brain awake. USWS helps aquatic mammals such as dolphins to keep breathing, presumably by permitting them to surface once in a while. It also enables birds to keep an eye out for predators — literally. This was demonstrated in an experiment that Nature reported earlier this year. Neils C. Rattenborg, a graduate student in die department of life sciences at Indiana State University, lined up four groups of four mallards. (Yes, he got his ducks in a row.) Then he videotaped the birds while they slept. He found that those on the ends of the rows — those more exposed to predators — had two and a half times as much USWS as the birds in the middle of the group. A bird on the end kept its outer eye (the one facing away from the group) open 86 percent of the time, whereas birds in the middle kept it open only 53 percent of the time. Brain-wave tests confirmed that half the brain slept and half was in a "quiet waking state," alert enough for the duck to escape should danger threaten and maybe for him to scrape togedier an answer if called on in Western Civ.

Dear Cecil, The other night I was talking with a friend who worked at a bar in Arizona where most of the hicks got shots of tequila. As they got drunker they would ask to have "the worm" (bleagh) along with their shot. My questions are: What kind of worm is that thing? Does drinking/eating the worm make you drunker? And how did the worm end up in the tequila? — Beth L. Grover, via the Internet

Carpooh Connectio o-noc/irm.

respond to a " listing or to be listed ESSEX JCT. to SO. BURLINGTON: Looking for a ride either way. I work 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., M-F. (3168)

HUNTINGTON to ESSEX: I work the first shift, M-F, at IBM and am hoping someone can give me a lift. ( 3 1 5 7 )

MORRISVILLE to BURLINGTON: I am looking to share driving on my daily commute. I work M-F, 8 : 3 0 a.m. to 5 p.m. (3162)

COLCHESTER to BURLINGTON: I am looking to share driving to work. My hours are 8 to 4, M-F. (3153)

BURLINGTO to IBM: I work 11 p.m. to 8 a.m., Tue.-Sat., and am looking for a ride. can get home in the morning, but I realy need a ride to work in the evening. ( 3 1 5 9 ) SHELBURNE to HINESBURG & HINESBURG to BURL.: I am seeking a ride to work in Hinesburg at 8 a.m., MWF, and a ride from work to Burl, at 11:30 a.m. ( 3 0 0 5 ) ST. ALBANS to BURLINGTON: I work in Burlington, 2 to 10, M-F, and am hoping to get a ride. I'm flexible and can leave St. Albans earlier than 1 p.m. and Burl, later than 10 p.m. if necessary. ( 3 1 5 5 ) CROWN POINT/ADDISON to BURLINGTON: 1 have a flexible schedule & looking to catch a ride from Crown Point anytime before noon & return from Burl, anytime after 6 p.m. (3156) WILLIAMSTOWN to BURLINGTON: I'd like to share driving on my daily commute. I work 7 : 4 5 a.m. to 4 : 3 0 p.m. ( 3 1 5 4 )

SHELBURNE to ST. ALBANS: I will drive you from Shel./Burl. at 6 a.m. to arrive in St. Albans at 7 a.m. or from St. Albans at 7 a.m. to arrive in Shel./Burl. at 8 a.m. In the evening, I leave Shel./Burl. at 4 p.m. & St. Albans at 5 p.m. ( 3 1 5 2 ) ESSEX to BURLINGTON: I'm looking for a ride to UHC. I work 3 to 11:30, M-F & alt. wknds. ( 3 1 4 6 ) HUNTINGTON to IBM: I work the first shift and am looking to catch a ride to work with someone MF. (3140) UNDERHILL/RICHMOND to MIDDLEBURY: Going my way? I would like to share the ride to and from work. My hours are 8 : 3 0 to 5 p.m., M-F. (3142) BRISTOL to BURLINGTON: I would like to share driving to work to cut down on the wear and tear on my car. I work 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., MF. ( 3 1 3 1 ) LINCOLN/BRISTOL to S. BURLINGTON: I'm looking to share driving 4 days/wk. My hrs. are 8 : 3 0 to 5 p.m. ( 3 1 2 6 )

If you have formed or joined a carpool, call CCTA to enroll in our Guaranteed Ride Home program.

JOHNSON to BURLINGTON: I am a student looking for a ride to school M-F, 8 to 4. I really need a ride TO school, I could arrange for a ride home if necessary. ( 3 1 0 2 ) SO. BURLINGTON to IBM: I am looking for a ride to work, I am on the 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. shift with rotating days. (3090) MILTON to COLCHESTER: I am looking for a ride to work. I could meet at the Chimney Corners Park & Ride. My hours are 11 a.m. to 7 p.m., Tues.-Sat. w/ some flexibility. ( 3 0 9 5 ) ESSEX JCT7BURL. to ST. ALBANS: 1 am looking for a ride to work. My hours are 6 a.m. to 5 p.m., M-F with flexible evening hours. (3088) BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER: I am looking for a ride to the National Life Building. My hours are 8 to 5, M-F. (3072)

VANPOOLRIDER| WANTED

Route from: Burlington and the Richmond Commuter Lo I To: Montpelier Monthly Fare; $85 Work Hours: 7:30 to 4:25 p.m. Contact: Can Phone: 828-5215

Vermont#T Rideshare IMmrOKTHWH

You probably think this is some ancient Mexican tradition, right? Not unless your idea of ancient is 1950. We even know who invented the practice. Various reasons are given for it, but I say it all boils down to: Let's see if we can get the gringos to eat worms. First let's get a few things straight. There's no worm in tequila, or at least there isn't supposed to be. Purists (hah!) say the worm belongs only in a related product, mescal. Strictly speaking, mescal is a generic term meaning any distillate of the many species of agave (or maguey) plant, tequila included. Today, however, mescal is popularly understood to mean a product botded in the region around the city of Oaxaca. For years this stuff was basically homebrewed firewater consumed by the locals, but in 1950, Mexico City entrepreneur Jacobo Lozano Paez hit on the idea of putting a worm in each bottle as a marketing gimmick. Stroke of genius, eh? I know, 1 don't get it either, but that's what separates us from the visionaries. The critter in question is the agave worm, which is actually a butterfly larva. The worms bore into the agave plant's pineapplelike heart, and quite a few get cooked up in the brew used to make mescal. Far from being grossed out of existence, Jacobo concluded that the worm was an essential component of the liquors flavor and color. He may also have figured, Hey, mescal is about as palatable as paint remover, and the only people who are going to drink this stuff are macho lunatics, so why not take it to the max? In fairness, the worms were also said to have aphrodisiac properties, and worms and bugs are sometimes consumed in Mexico as a delicacy. (Supposedly this dates back to the Aztecs.) At any rate, the ploy worked and the worm in the botde is now a firmly established tradition. The genuine agave worm is a bright coral color, which fades to pink in the botde. Some botders substitute a species of white worm that lives in the leaves of the agave plant. Connoisseurs complain that the white worm isn't as tasty as the red one, which to me is like complaining that your soup contains the wrong species of fly. I've had a sip or three of mescal in my day, and my feeling is, if you want to get sick, who needs a worm? — CECIL ADAMS

EMPLOYMENT HOUSE PAINTERS: Motivated workers with some exterior house painting experience sought for summer employment by well-established, topend residential painting company known for its socially responsible policies & excellent customer service. Call Paul, Lafayette Painting, 863-5397.

RED MEAT

MQX cannon f r o m t h e secret f i l e s of

moldering

m e m e n t o s

merriment

Turns out, though...some other guy already did it.

I been thinkin' a lot lately about the whole Kennedy assassination thing.

NIGHT OWL: Bread b a g g e r hours approx. 1 1 p.m. to 4 a.m., 2 - 4 shifts per week. Great working environment. Regular pay increases. Winger's Bread Co., corner of Swift St. & Farrell St., 1 block up from Denny's off Shelburne Rd. RVS NEEDS YOU! Local call center seeking several individuals with excellent phone skills for a variety of projects. Flexible hours and excellent pay plus bonuses. 8 7 2 - 8 1 3 0 STILL LOOKING? Time to start a business? Call the Women's Small Business Program, 8 4 6 7160. SWEET TOMATOES: Line cooks—experience required, great benefits, competitive wage, flexible scheduling. Must be a team player. Apply in person between 2 : 0 0 p.m.—5 p.m. to 8 3 Church St., Burlington TJ'S WINE & SPIRITS OFFERS the following positions: Deli— prep or line experience required; Counter—sales & customer service; Deli delivery driver—11:30 a.m. to 2 : 3 0 p.m., must have reliable car. Apply to TJ's Wine & Spirits, 1 3 4 1 Shelburne Rd. VT LOCAL, NATIONAL WRITERS UNION seeks part-time office worker; 5 hrs./wk., $10/hr. send resume to: NWUVT, 150 Cherry St., Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 . No calls, please. $ 8 0 0 WEEKLY POTENTIAL processing government refunds at home! No experience necessary. 1 - 8 0 0 - 6 9 6 - 4 7 7 9 ext. "1394.

VOLUNTEERS

REAL ESTATE

SUBLET

HOMES FROM $ 5 , 0 0 0 . Foreclosed and repossessed. No or low down payment. Credit trouble OK. For current listings call 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 1 1 - 5 0 4 8 ext. 3478.-

BURLINGTON: Room in 3bdrm. duplex avail. mid-July through end of Aug., possibly longer, w/ 2 loosely vegetarian, male musicians (not loud ones) in late 20s. No indoor smokers/pets. $300/mo., utils. incl. + $ 2 2 5 dep. 8 5 9 - 0 0 8 4 .

OFFICE/BUS. SPACE MASSAGE THERAPIST WANTED to share studio 1/2 week or less. New Age Therapies, flexible, friendly, positive. Willing to help with maintenance and business. 6 5 8 - 4 4 8 8 .

APT./HOUSE FOR RENT BURLINGTON: Small studio apt., clean, quiet building, great lake views, loft bed, laundry, parking. Avail. 7/1. $ 4 8 5 / m o „ heated. 6 5 8 - 9 9 4 8 . ST. GEORGE: 2-bdrm. trailer. $685/mo., incl. all. Dep. & refs. required. Avail, now. St. George villa, 8 0 2 - 6 3 5 - 7 0 6 0 .

BURLINGTON: Sublet 2-bdrm. duplex, big backyard, front porch, parking. July 17—Aug. 16. No smoking, drugs or drinking. $450/mo., negotiable. 8 6 5 - 3 7 6 5 .

ROOM FOR RENT BURLINGTON: Permanently in 4-bdrm. house. $287/mo. + utils. Call for interview; ask for Ernie, 8 6 0 - 7 0 2 9 .

LOOKING TO RENT/SHARE 26-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, vegetarian, non-smoker, healthy lifestyle, seeks friendly housing situation between Burl./ Vergennes. Laura, 9 8 5 - 9 0 6 4 .

LOOKING TO RENT/SHARE

HOUSEMATES CLEANING SERVICES WANTED

2 FEMALE STUDENTS looking to rent in Plainfield area. Sept.-Dec. 5 1 8 - 3 5 8 - 4 3 3 8 .

BURLINGTON: Room avail, in clean, 2-bdrm. apt. to share with 1 grad student, 1 cook. Vegetarian/TV-free preferred. $325/mo., utils. incl. 8 6 0 6138.

HOUSEMATES WANTED BOLTON: Beautiful house & land, 3 0 mins. to Burlington, rainbow neighborhood, gardens. Looking for stable adult, M/F; must like cats & dogs. $350/mo. + utils. Contact Walter, 4 3 4 - 3 3 1 3 . BURLINGTON: Room with good neighborhood, parking, garden, screened porch, plants/lawn. Male/female, responsible. $240/mo. + dep./ refs. 8 6 3 - 2 1 2 4 . BURLINGTON: Avail, immediately, room in cheerful 2bdrm., quiet street, close to downtown, hdwd. firs., huge closet, porch, garden, 1 mellow cat. Kindness essential, smoker OK. $300/mo. + utils. 860-9562.

DEFECTIVE? DETECTIVE. Private dective agency: trial attorney, serve duckgramz (fiduciary, due diligent, due ^ T + o K V M i ' M u f ^ ® I FlNPlNG HIS WAV HoME WAS process) on inept, ignorant & P, rb. A < f r ° l l P F P O J t r ENOUGH AS IT WAS. incompetent VT Sec. of State and Attorney General. No SMoULP NEVER HAVe WAP experience needed, will teach. -TfrAr LAST MARTINI. Sue the bastards. Box 0 0 2 , c/o PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402.

CHARLOTTE: Quiet, responsible non-smoker needed to share sunny, newly renovated house w/ laundry, deck & privacy. $ 5 0 0 mo., incl. most utils. Avail. 7/1. 4 2 5 - 5 4 3 6 .

A CLEAN HOME IS A GROOVY PLACE TO ENTERTAIN! Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 6 5 8 - 7 4 5 8 . "We shall brook no evil substitutes. Isn't that right, Mr. Bigglesworth?" — Dr. Evil.

HOME & GARDEN

HINESBURG: Share nice home w/ woman & teenage son in private, wooded setting. $400/mo., incl. utils.. Avail, now. Dogs OK. 4 8 2 - 2 3 9 4 .

ALICE'S GARDENS: No time to garden this summer? Just call Alice for quality perennial garden services. 8 6 5 - 9 3 6 3 .

SERVICES

DATING

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BUSINESS OPP. WE'RE LOOKING FOR AN ambitious entrepreneur or coulAy@WAYlAy.COM ple to get started in a homeWHEN HE SAW THE GAP SToZEM I T SHoULP'VE BEEN A BANANA based business representing HE KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG. 1 REPUBLIC, HE WAS OBVIOUSLY the leading manufacturer of IN THE WRONG SECTOR. high tech air and water purifiers. Will train you every step. Full- or part-time. Call Crisp Air, 2 4 4 - 8 3 4 4 , fax 2 4 4 - 8 5 6 7 .

TRYING To B A C K - T R A C K , HE G o T EVEN M o R E L o S T IN A M A Z E OF STRIP MALLS.

AFTER A FEW YEARS HE FELT A PlFFERENCE IN THE AlR.

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AUTOMOTIVE BUY CARS! FROM $ 5 0 0 . Upcoming seizure/surplus sales. Sport, luxury & economy cars. For current listings call 1 - 8 0 0 - 3 1 1 - 5 0 4 8 ext. 1 7 3 8 . SEIZED CARS FROM $ 5 0 0 . Sport, luxury & economy cars, trucks, 4x4s, utility and more. For current listings call 1 - 8 0 0 3 1 1 - 5 0 4 8 ext. 2 2 3 9 .

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VOYAGER READYMADE TO ADD SEATING Dear Tom and Ray, My family has just been enlarged by three boys under the age of five (Grandma got custody). My question is, is it possible to enlarge the seating capacity of my '93 Plymouth Voyager from a five-passenger van to a sevenpassenger? We don't have a lot of money right now, so I'm thinking of going to the junkyard and buying the smaller central seat and all of the seat belts. Will that work? —Connie

MUSIC

LEGALS

RANDOM ASSOCIATION, Burlington's premiere vocal band, seeks dynamic voices to help bring local a cappella to new heights! Call 8 6 4 - 5 9 6 2 or email vtvocals@together.net for details.

Davis and Jennifer Davis to Fleet Mortgage Corp. dated September 3 0 , 1 9 9 6 , and recorded in Book 5 5 3 , Page 7 7 5 , of the Land Records of the City of Burlington, of w h i c h mortgage the undersigned is the present holder, for breach of the conditions of said mortgage and for the purpose of foreclosing the same will be sold at Public Auction at 1 1 o'clock a.m. on the 1 5 t h day of July, 1 9 9 9 , the subject premises, 7 3 Drew Street, in the City of Burlington all and singular the premises described in said mortgage.

sale plaintiff makes the highest bid, it shall be required to pay cash or certified f u n d s only to the extent t h a t its bid is in excess of the s u m due it by the defendants/mortgagors at the t i m e of sale. The person holding the public sale may postpone the sale for a t i m e not to exceed 1 0 days or sooner, f r o m t i m e to t i m e until it is completed by given notice of such a d j o u r n m e n t by public proclamation at the and t i t l e place appointed for said sale. The person holding the public sale shall sell t o the highest bidder all the land and premises described herein above subject to any unpaid real estate taxes and other m u n i c i p a l assessments. The balance sale price is due w i t h i n thirty days of the date of sale, or w i t h i n 10 days of c o n f i r m a t i o n of t h e sale by the Chittenden County Superior Court, whichever is later.

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To wit: Being all and the same land and premises conveyed to Peter S. Jefferys, Richard D. Davis and Jennifer Davis by Warranty Deed of Lillian E. Baker, Marlene Masi and James Burke dated 9 / 3 0 / 9 6 and recorded in Volume 5 5 3 , Page 7 7 3 of the Burlington Land Records, and more particularly described as follows: A parcel of land, with the buildnings thereon located on the easterly side of Drew Street, and commonly known as # 7 3 Drew Street. Said lot has a frontage of forty feet ( 4 0 ' ) and a depth of one hundred feet ( 1 0 0 ' ) and is the southerly portion of Lot no. 2 2 as laid down in the Plan of L.S. Drew of record in Volume 2 2 , Page 3 5 7 of the Land Records of the City of Burlington.

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Being all and the same land and premises conveyed to Kathleen O'Kelly and Lillian E. Perry, as joint tenants with right of survivorship, by Warranty Deed of Sanford J. Atherton and June L. Atherton, dated December 8 , 1 9 8 7 , and recorded in Volume 3 7 3 , Page 4 6 5 , of the Land Records of the City of Burlington.

LEGALS

Being all and the same lands and premises conveyed as follows:

STATE OF VERMONT C H I T T E N D E N COUNTY, SS CHITTENDEN SUPERIOR COURT DOCKET NO. S 0 9 3 8 - 9 8 Fleet Mortgage Corporation, Plantiff v. Peter Jefferys, Richard D. Davis and Jennifer Davis, Defendants NOTICE OF SALE By virtue and in execution of the Power of Sale contained in a certain mortgage given by Peter S. Jefferys, Richard D.

TOM: Sure it will. All of the Voyagers are built to handle seating for seven. If you don't order the extra seat, they simply don't install it. RAY: Or, if they're eager to move a car they already have on the lot, they may even just remove it. TOM: So you can go to a junkyard and buy the smaller middle bench if that's the one you're missing. And — at least on the earlier Caravans and Voyagers — the seat belts used to come as part of the seat assembly itself. So you didn't have to buy anything else. RAY: I'm not sure if that's true for the '93s — especially with shoulder harnesses — so you'll

Published June 3 0 , July 7, 14. By: Grant C. Rees, Mortgagee's Attorney

SEVEN DAYS PERSONALS ..dating won't feel like a visit to the dentist anymore with PERSON<TO>PERSON (it's in the back...check it out)

b. Quit Claim Deed from Lillian Baker to Lillian Baker, Marlene Masi and James Burke, dated January 5, 1 9 9 5 and recorded in Volume 5 3 1 , Page 4 9 2 of the City of Burlington Land Records. Terms of Sale: A $ 1 0 , 0 0 0 . 0 0 cash deposit shall be required at the t i m e of sale. If at the

Dear Tom and Ray, I have a 1997 Chevy pickup and I'm trying to turn off those annoying daytime running lights (DRLs). Any suggestions as to how I can go about it? —Gregg

TOM: How about a hammer? RAY: Actually, you should start by asking your dealer, Gregg. Since DRLs are not required by the law, they may be willing to disconnect them for you. TOM: If they refuse and you're obsessed with turning them off, you can always remove the bulbs — or wait until they burn out. I believe the DRLs on this truck use separate bulbs, which are slightly dimmer than the regular headlights. RAY: But if I were you, I'd just leave them alone. Many people believe that they make you safer by making it easier for other drivers to see you in the daytime. And since there's almost no down side to them ( the amount of additional fuel it takes to run them is miniscule), why not leave them on and forget about them?

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display

HERBS

Other t e r m s to be a n n o u n c e d at the sale or inquire w i t h Grant C. Rees, Attorney, 1 0 4 Church street, Burlington, Vermont. ( 8 0 2 ) 6 6 0 - 4 3 0 0 .

a. Quit Claim Deed of David E. Rotman to Lillian Baker, dated November 3 , 1 9 9 4 and recorded in Volume 5 3 1 , Page 4 9 0 of the Burlington Land Records;

have to ask at the junkyard. Obviously, you'll need to make sure that every passenger has both lap belt and a properly secured shoulder belt. And if worse comes to worst, you may have to get some of that equipment installed at the dealer. TOM: But the answer is "absolutely," Connie. And while you're at the junkyard, you may even want to pick up some of that fake wood paneling that I'm sure you regretted not ordering back in 1993. And good luck with the kids — you're a saint to take them in!

v t f l i o c I I U O O

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How can you tell if a used car is in good condition — or even OK, for that matter? Find out by ordering Tom and Ray's pamphlet "How to Buy a Great Used Car: Things That Detroit and Tokyo Don't Want You to Know." Send S3 and a stamped (55 cents), self addressed, No. 10 envelope to Used Car, PO Box 6420, Riverton, NJ 080776420. Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care of this newspaper, or email them by visiting the Car Talk section of cars.com on the World Wide Web.

7D Classifieds • 864.5684 miMmfflMffliiM&mMMtimwiimmmM

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to respond to a personal ad call we're open 24 hours a day! OUT THERE: tall, good-looking, 43+, NS. He's principled, out-going, mischievous and passionate. Enjoys culture, has zest for life, is emotionally available. Me? DWF, tall, goodlooking. A fine woman: elegant, sensual, intelligent, kind-hearted, loves family, country and city. Many interests. 3124 SWF, ATTRACTIVE, ATHLETIC AND responsible brunette with sense of humor seeks funny, active, intelligent M for casual dating and possibly more. Enjoy golf, tennis, travel & dining out. 3138 SPCF SEEKING PCM. NEW TO AREA exploring it! Attractive, trim, 39. My things? Jesus, art, nature, creativity, ing, travel, good food, fun, and my little girl. 3127

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DWPF, 35, 5*6", 125 LBS., BLONDE/BROWN, attractive, intelligent, sensual, romantic, funloving, healthy, seeks similar qualities in rugged SBPM, 30+, muscular/stocky build, into dancing, camping, beach, kids, kittens. Serious only. 3293

ARE YOU OPEN TO THE POSSIBILITIES?. Seeking my soulmate in God to celebrate the mystery and share the joy. I'm 45, 5*6", blue/brown, love dancing, singing, nature walks and spiritual talks. ND NA, NS. 3188

MS. EVEL KNIEVEL-ESQUE SUPER SEX stunt woman seeks motorcycle diesel-powered sex toy technician. Flame retardant face shield a must. 3147 YOU: JUST LIKE M E - 5 0 I S H , BUSY, arts-ori ented, eclectic, functionally aesthetic, trenchant, vague, smart, self-contained, kind, generous, discerning and dazzled by the ordinary. Call me. 3100 A SUMMER DATE: DJF, 37, 5*10", 132 lbs., long blonde hair, blue eyes. Grad student and teacher. Love music, especially opera and theater. ISO D/SM, 30-42, 5'io" or taller, and cat-free. 3102 DWCF, 61, ISO S/DWCM, 55-68. I'm a good home cook with a sense of humor. I enjoy quiet evenings at times, entertaining, having fun, dining out, walks, travels, movies and church. ND, NS, NA. 3108 LOOKING FOR A TICKET TO RIDE. DWPF, 43, seeks college-educated Harley owner for weekend and sunset cruising. 3110

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800/710-8727 Simply call 800-710-872?, When prompted, enter y q w credff card #. Use the service for as lonq as you like. WR^gPyou hang up, your credit card will be directly billed $ 1 9 9 per min.

FUN-LOVING COUNTRY GIRL, ENJOYS the great out, Rollerblading, skiing, hunting, fishing. Looking for M, 42-52, with sense of humor, honesty and energy. 3176 OPTIMISM AND HUMOR. DWF, 45, 5-4", 145 lbs., brn, hair/eyes, looking for a LTR with kind-hearted, gentle soul: exploring, forest walks, dancing and sunsets. My passions: gardening and animals. 3179 TIRED OF MEN WITHOUT DIRECTION. SWF, 20. 120 lbs., independent mom of one, enjoys hunting, fishing, romancing. ISO responsible, professional, trustworthy SWM, 22-30, NA/ND, physically fit, old-fashioned gentleman for companionship. 3187 PRETTY, SLENDER, GREEN-EYED blonde. 34, intelligent, sophisticated, independent, down-to-earth. Looking for a handsome, muscular, kind, sensual M, 23-34. Likes: romance, conversation, dancing, travel. 3122

ATTRACTIVE, SPONTANEOUS, FUN-LOVING, caring artist, striving-to-be-spiritual, professional grad student mom with one schoolage child seeks a M, 30-43, w/ a healthy mind & body for good conversation, friendship & dating. 3096 PETITE, ACTIVE, 50ISH DWF, ATTRACTIVE, Fit, intelligent, happy, adventurous, physically/mentally healthy, NS, ND. Enjoys walking, gardening, cooking, massage, laughter, talking, dancing, sharing intimacy, trying new things. Seeks similar male. 3052 SWF, 45, 5'2", CUTE, FUN, 2 TEENAGE boys, Waitsfield area, seeks SWM, 35-47, for possible LTR. I enjoy art, music, dancing, reading, movies, dining and relaxation. Interested? Call me. 3055

wamsm

INTEGRITY & HUMOR ARE AT THE CORE OF this SPM, 49, who enjoys working out, intelligent conversation and fine food. ISO attractive, fit, intelligent soulmate to share the good life. Kids fine. 3306 COUNTRY GUY FROM BRISTOL, FIT AT 55, looking for trim, kind and humorous nature girl. Former hippies are welcome. Package deal: me, boat, dogs, camp, good wine and kind intellect. 3308 SM, 43, 6', SLIM, ARTIST, ISO SF, POSSIBLY slender, 30-44, interested in living off-grid in VT 7 mos./5 mos. in N. FL on low budget, diverse music, organic garening, botany, wildlife. 3312

FREE SPIRIT, 43, LOVE TO RUN, WALK, fish, dance & go out to nice restaurants. I love to cook & bake. Looking for someone to do things with. Camping, swimming, pool, darts, whatever; I'm willing to learn. I'm a teacher & track coach. If interested, reply. 3112 READY TO RIDE? Fit SWPF, 32, enjoys mtn. biking, motorcycles, hockey, socializing, projects at home. Goal- & family-oriented. ISO fit, mature SW/BM to share these and other interests. 3111 ^ DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC? I LIVE IT! 25, 5'6", sensual, green eyes, long dark curls cascading. ISO tall, 29-39, attractive moon gazer, earth worshipper. Photo/philosophy on life? 3118 A SPRING SUNFLOWER NEEDS WATERING. If you have the water, you can watch me grow. Would like to find a caregiver. 31, sweet and generous. Good-natured. 3083 SWF, 27, HEAVYSET AND ATTRACTIVE, looking for a walking, talking, thinking, feeling, loving, big cuddly bear. 3066

LOOKING FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE. SM, 30, honest, caring, sincere and attractive. Likes active hobbies: biking, movies, running, boating. Looking for healthy SWF, 2538, honest, cares about other people, NS. Would you like to meet a nice guy? Friends first. 3257 WANTED: THE KIND OF PASSION THAT makes one stupid and goofy. This single guy, 37, seeks a gal to play dumb and act silly with.

3258 47, MODEL F O R D - G O O D HEALTH WITH ALL my wheel covers and lug nuts. Looking for passengers who enjoy travel, beach, cuddling and more. Call before inspection & registration run out. 3261 ACTUALLY VOTED "BEST FRIEND" IN H.S. Tall, dark and handsome, more education than I'll ever use. ISO athletic, attractive & intelligent SF, 25-33, who reads these, but hasn't ever responded to one. 3264 SWM, 30, ATTRACTIVE, ENJOY TRAVELING & adventure, yet responsible ISO intelligent, athletic, attractive with a good sense of humor SFW, NS, 25-35, to be friends first, then take it from there. 3275 GOOD COMMUNICATOR: DWCM, YOUNG 50S, 5'9", Italian/American, extrovert, NS. Financially & emotionally secure. Interests in church, dining, dancing, movies, social interaction. Seeks 4oish active Christian lady over 5'2", proportional weight. 3266 NUCLEAR PHYSICIST/MOLECULAR BIOLOGIST/ deconstructionist classical artist. Sane, handsome, articulate SWM, 43, 6' 175 lbs., understated, shy, cosmopolitan-hick. Seek interesting, attractive, stimulating S/DWF for fun, experiments & possible nuclear fusion. 3267 I'VE BEEN LONELY. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR you. I'm hoping, and that's all I can do. The love I'm sending, I'm hoping it's making it through to your heart. 3271

NICE GUY SEEKS NICE GAL PSWM, 27, 5*10", 150 lbs., brown hair/eyes, health nut, ISO kind, fun, smart SF, 20s, who likes art, books and film, for long walks, good talks and laughter. NS/ND. 3316

DJM, 49, ABLE, WANTING, NEEDING TO love. Living in N. Ctrl. VT (will travel), multi-talented and funny, appreciate all kinds of beauty. NS, 5'9", ISO dance partner (both cosmic and/or swing). 3277

ATTRACTIVE, RECENT MA GRAD HAS BIG plans for the future, but not for summer. 6', in good shape and considered quite attractive. You're smart, sexy, traveled, and seeking something incredible. 3322

NEED A SHOULDER? NEED A FRIEND? A sympethetic ear, I'll lend. Need compassion? A warm embrace? The hard times, I'll help you face. SWM, 31, NS, non-professional. 3151

THE GENUINE ARTICLE: SENSITIVE, SUCCESSFUL, solvent gentleman, good-looking, middle-aged, athletic. Searching for lady who appreciates attention, enjoyable times and nice lifestyle. All replies honored. 3330 SAILING PARTNER, NS, FOR SAILING ON Lake Champlain or Maine coast this summer. Sailing experience is not a requirement, but good physical condition and a sense of humor are a definite plus. 3279 MID-LIFE WARRIOR WITH PEN AND PAPER AT hand and garden trowel to boot, seeks lovely woman connected to the spiritual world with room for jest. Canoe-can you? 3286

LOVE IS THE ANSWER. DWM, 40s, 5-9", 150 lbs., youthful, engaging, open-minded, appealing, proportionate. Likes outdoor activities, Burlington nightlife, laughing, movies, sunsets, travel, photography, crop circles. Seeking fun-loving companion. 3288 SHE'S OUT THERE: Elegant, sensual, intelligent, kind-hearted, loves nature & healthy living. She's 37 47ish. Me: DWM, tall, goodlooking, principled, out-going, mischievous & passionate, enjoy culture, health, nature. Have zest for life and emotionally available. Many interests. 3289 GIVE US A TRY. SWM who's fit, fun, active, seeks SWF, 5'6" or less, 32-46, who likes dancing, dining, outdoor activities, who's fun, fit, attractive. Kids welcome. For friendship. 3291 LITERATE, MULTI-FARIOUS, OFF-THE-GRIDliving mountain male, 35, tall, trim, handsome. ISO SF, 30-40, who enjoys hiking/backpacking, skiing, gardening, her work & life in general for conversation, companionship, and after building friendship: commitment. 3292 I'M 43,. DIVORCED FATHER OF 3 KIDS. I'm searching for friendship first, then love. I would like to build a future together with someone special. I'm 5'9", short brn. hair. I love dancing, dining, boating and fun. 3297 SEEKING HIKING COMPANION FOR TRIPS TO the Adirondacks and the White Mountains. Other interests include cruising back roads, herbs, classic rock, VPB, reggae, camping, mtn. biking, climbing, mountainering. Looking for SWF, 25-40, physically fit, with similar interests, to have fun with. 3298 SM, 50S, SEEKING SF, VEGETARIAN, NS, for friendship, maybe more. Read the due: Where the So. Burlington mall buildings are blue. I will meet you. Think music. 3 3 0 0

TOP GUN LOOKING FOR CO-PILOT, 35-45, for fun, friendship, adventure and romance. Enjoys boating, beaching, moonlight, smelling roses and much more. You will not be sorry you called. 3152 CONSCIOUS, AWAKE, SPIRITUAL, living an incredible adventure. DJPM, 45, health-conscious, fit, good-looking. Environmentalist, green businessman, loving synchronicity and the magic of life. You: 30+, intelligent, attractive, very awake. 3177 SWM, 27, ISO SWF/SBF, 25-30. "Calvin" to your "Suzie." Blonde, hazel-eyed, 190 lb. cartoonist into art, movies, music, walks, hikes and fun for friendship, possible LTR. 3170 TREMENDOUS GUY, DPM, 40, KIND & loving, awesome dad, slim & sexy, musical, , determined, seeks fabulous gal, 30-40, kind and loving, slim and sexy, good-natured, smart and fun, for fantastic times. 3154 DWM, 52, 5 ' u " , MED. BUILD, blue/brown, ISO attractive F, 40-55, for dating, leading to LTR. Sincere/honest only. No headgames. Just a nice guy looking for a nice woman. 3171 SWPM, 29, SEEKS ATHLETIC F FOR meaningful relationship. 6', very athletic runner/hiker loves animals and long walks holding hands. Searching for SWF, 25-35, who is intelligent and athletic for LTR. 3184 TALL, DARK, HANDSOME, SPIRITUAL, honest, intelligent, communicative, sensitive, sensual, outdoor type, commitment-minded, prefers slender nymph, 5 ' 8 " - 6 \ 125-140 lbs., 35-45, likes her hair long, ascension conscious, natural beauty, educated, compassionate, jeans or silks, never had children, relaxed, fit, and able to express all she feels, unencumbered, joyfully spontaneous, curious when enjoying non-verbal communication, chemistry! What makes you happy? 3185 ECLECTIC LIBERTARIAN, SKINNY WPM, 48. ISO mellow, caffeinated biker babe. Must twist own German, Italian metal. Love skiing B.C. Prefer licentious Republican for raids, turn LTR iffy. No progressive whiners. 3121 QUIET, SENSITIVE SM, 33, PHYSICIAN. New to the area. ISO younger hiking partner. Friends 1st, maybe more? 3128 CENTRAL VT DWM, 44, SEEKING A SLIM companion to share our mutual or differing interests. Mine are Corvettes, dogs, food, friends, hiking, etc. How about yours? 3130 MY A-Z*S. WHAT'S YOURS? Adventurous, brilliant, creative, devoted, embraceabte, funloving, grand, honest, intelligent, joyful, knowledgeable, loving, mature, nice, open, playful, quality, romantic, successful, thoughtful, unique, vibrant, wonderful, x-citing, yearning, zany. 3132

Or respond t h e old-fashioned way: CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1-900-870-7127 Sl.99/min. m u s t b e 18+ -f.

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$1.99 a minute, must be 18+.

EX-LEFTIST SEEKS GOLF PARTNER. SEMI-successful, cosmically challenged SWM, 40, 5'io", attractive, funny, damn-near hairless. A Buddhist mensch. Also into hiking, reading, writing, etc. ad infinitum. Tee it. 3327

in S E V E N DAYS

ENDLESSLY CREATIVE, SEXY, CHARISMATIC SWF, 22, ISO handsome, tall, brilliant man ISO his muse. I'm one in 5 billion and so are you...right? 3159

1-900-

SEEKING "JAMES HERRIOT TYPE." SWF, 36, NS, enjoys hiking, animals, reading, baseball, travel and more. ISO positive, fun, attractive S/DWM, 32-40, to share adventures. 3093

Asokinq

40ISH, ATTRACTIVE, BROWN HAIR, green eyes, 5'6", slim, with progressive politics and outlook on life, seeks tall man with athletic build, sense of humor, smarts. 3140

I'M INTELLIGENT, FUNNY, HEALTHY, attractive, open-minded SWPF, 38. You're tall, 3345, employed, articulate, trustworthy, available, kind to animals. I like being outdoors, food, dancing, art, creativity. Do you? 3301

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO SHARE A MEAL or a laugh with. Sense of humor, NS, social drinker, interested in the arts — musical theater, movies, TV, music — a must. 3304 DWPF, 49, 5'. SLENDER, RED HAIR, BLUE eyes, attractive, ISO active, fit DWPM, 45-55, to share good times and romance, not marriage. No children. Caring and sensitivity important. 3305

THIS IS ME: 23, SWPF, WORK LIKE I don't need the money, love like I've never been hurt and dance like nobody's watching. If you agree, we should hang out. 3134

i With Instant Access you can respond to ; Person <To> Person ads 24hrs. a day, i seven days a week from any touch j tone phone including pay phones and i phones w/ 9 0 0 blocks.

WANNA MAKE LOVE IN CLEAN WATER? SWF, 4oish, tall, rubenesque, swimmer, campaigning to outlaw motorboats on Lake Champlain, because majority of VT'ers don't own polluting motorboats. Musical, artistic, "hippy." 3296

SOUTHERN DF. 32, DOWN-TO-EARTH, adventurous, sense of humor, enjoys walking & holding hands, talking & laughing, cooking together. Looking for sincere & honest, passionate & adventurous SM, 35-45. 3302 I MTN. BIKE, SKI HARD, HIKE, BACKPACK, Rollerbalde, snowshoe, life, spin, cook and eat healthy. SWPF, 33, attractive. Let me know if you can keep up. 3303

PETITE, 60ISH SWF. LOVES DANCING, out door activities, quiet evenings, traveling. ISO SWM, considerate, respectful and caring w/ similar qualities. If this sounds like you, let's get together soon. 3129

INSTANT ACCESS

CELEBRATE LIFE, LAUGH/PLAY, CREATE intimacvir«xplore sensuality, love nature, admire intelligeqge/intuition, appreciate culture connect spirit, be socially conscious, speak honestly, eojoy varied interests, be present! Attractive DPF invites 4 5 + to share. 3328 ATTENTION PLEASE: SWF, intelligent mind, caring soul, attractive, humorous, fit, fun, who lives to love and loves to live, seeks friend/lover/companion to share her heart/ soul/life with. 3 2 8 0

Love favorite gardenbeautiful

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dorrt want a charge on your phone bill? call 1-800-710-8727 and use your credit card. 24 hours a day!

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NICE GUYS CAN HAVE FUN, TOO. SWPM, 26, 5*7", attractive, fit, humorous, seeks witty, athletic, confident, passionate, fun-loving SWPF, 22-29, to enjoy summer in VT. 3135 DO IT THIS TIME! HOW COME? Tall, fit, attractive, 31. Like companionship, country life, active, outdoors. You: fun, attractive, fit. Weekend bedsharing? Silly? It's summer, why not? Your turn. 3137 6*2", 195 LB., WEALTHY GENTLEMAN looking for someone to share curious discharge, serious spankings and intimate moments with clowns. 3141 TRAGICALLY ROMANTIC, SUICIDAL maniac seeks equally despondant other for impassioned grand finale. 3142 DOMINANT MISTRESS SOUGHT FOR wealthy, alcohol-dependant man. I've been naughty and want to pay you for my sins. No professionals, please. 3146 THE REAL THINGI Looking for an attractive DWPM who really is a nice guy? Here I am! 6'2", 39, slender, easy-going and fun to be with. Attractive, NS females, 21-35. Apply now! 3101 SWPM, 33, FIT, ACTIVE & CAREER-ORIENTED, seeking same in F partner in crime. Having a good day means dick if you have no one to share it with. 3109 AVID CYCLIST SEEKS WOMAN WHO loves to ride fast! 42, 6 \ fit, into live music, gardening, neat and groomed. I have an excellent life, let's hammer on the road together! 3113 WILD FLOWERS AND SUNSETS FOR YOU with me—SWM, 30, financially secure, collegeeducated. Seek sensual, creative adventurous female for talks, encounters, canoe paddies among the stars, dinner, drinks. 3117 SEEKING ASIAN LADIES. DWM, 35, no children, seeks Asian lady, 21-35—kids OK, smokers OK, outdoors type and nights in. Will travel. 3120 FORGET "STAR WARS," WATCH THE stars with me. Good-looking DWM, 5'io", 165 lbs., blue eyes, 40+. Waterfront, dining, dancing, VSO. 10 mins. over coffee could change our lives. Strange galaxy, isn't it, Princess Leia? 3063 DOWN-TO-EARTH SINGLE DAD, 41, enjoys being outdoors, golf, boating, camping and quiet times at home. ISO independent, professional woman who is kind, caring & fun to be with. 3064 IF YOU WERE TO WANT A GUY WHO really knows what to do, someone strong and supportive... Good-looking, in-shape SWPM seeks similar woman, 25-36, for outdoors/indoors. 3065

CAGED & NEGLECTED, MID-30S MaWM, attractive and clean, with insatiable and unsatisfied appetite ISO slim, attractive, clean, unsatisfied F, 18-35. Let's fulfill our needs & desires. Discretion a must. 3074

1 1

ONE-NIGHT STANDS CAN STAND OUT IN the rain. I'm 20, blue eyes, 130 lbs., collegebound, computer person. For hobbies I enjoy movies, computers, mountain biking & downhill skiing. 3079

! ! \ I

INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE, KIND GF, 40S, enjoys blue skies, sunny days, mountains, oceans, books, gardening, watching fire flies,walks in the cool V evening. ISO SGF for friendship, maybe more. 3307

; ; ;

SWF, 21, ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, NEW TO Burlington, looking for an attractive femme SWF to spend some time with. A sense of humor is a must, no trendy. Wanna know more? 3268

SEARCHING FOR THAT HEART OF GOLD. SWM, 23, likes outdoors, politics, laughing, music. ISO big-hearted, confident, energetic, positive woman. 3081

Aoskinq

women

BiWM, HONEST, CARING ISO A LADY who is \ the same. I'm 45, full of life. Let's be friends, < ME: GWF, 19, VOLUPTUOUS, FUNNY, STARand try for a LTR. I'm told I'm a woman's lover, sunsets, long talks, writer, beautiful best friend. 3086 places, intelligent, philosophical, loud and quiet. You: GF, 18-26, large, unbound, soulADVENTURES AWAIT. SWM, 34, 6', 175 lbs., enjoys camping, mtn. biking, hiking, sunsets, « ful, witty, appreciative, intellectual...more! full moons & most sports. Spontaneous, I Come journey with me. 3269 honest & sensitive. ISO SWF, 20-38, athletic, 2 ATHLETIC BLONDE, INTELLIGENT Norwegian attractive, intelligent & fun-loving. 3087 2 who enjoys crafts, baseball, cuddling, outBLACK/WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY, VAN Morrison, j doors, sun & gardening. ISO F, 25-45, who M&M's, rainy Sunday afternoons, the ; enjoys the same, is honest & sensitive. 3175 Netherlands; Chet Baker, Woody Allen, J MaBiF ISO SAME FOR FRIENDSHIP. Must love Tootsie Rolls, A.C. Jobim, Scandinavia, Spike ; life, horses, nature, dreams and romance. Lee. SWPM, 40, seeks sentimental, sexy, sin- J Please be discreet, feminine, intelligent, cere, sophisticated, sultry SF. 3088 * mature. Would love a special friend to chat RUNNING MATE. ISO A PERSON WHO loves » with. Who knows. 3186 the outdoors and running the trails. ISO a « Bi-CURIOUS, ATTACHED PF ISO Bi-CURIOUS F, SF, 19-31, fit, active and out-going. I'm 25, ; 21-35, for friendship and nights filled with SM, hazel eyes, NS, looking for LTR. Let's * pleasure. Explore your wild fantasies and fulrun during the sunset. 3089 • fill ours. Hope to hear from you! 3123 RETIRED SPAGHETTI-EATING CHAMPION, but j ECLECTIC, SPONTANEOUS GWF. Multi lingual no limp noodle—SM, 44. The water has to ! musician who loves animals, music, books, be really boiling before the real cooking adventures, tired of trendy women. Seeks starts. Call if hungry. 3091 * stable, reasonably feminine woman for WANT TO BE THE LEADING LADY IN MY film? * friendship, companionship and...? 3115 DWM, 30, college-educated film student I Bi-CURIOUS WF, 36, 5*10", 117 LBS., seeking playful playmate for auditioning. I blonde/blue eyes, attractive & fun-loving. Let's mix business and pleasure. Romantics I Seeks sexy BiF, 18-40, to show me the ropes. apply! 3092 I Let's meet and begin my lessons. 3085 SWPM, 31, NS, SELF-EMPLOYED, college • ROMANTC BiF ISO F PLAYMATE TO accompagrad, laid-back personality, slight disability, * ny me on 10-day road trip. Lots of time to enjoys skiing, walking, the beach, movies, j relax, and will be near Branson, MO. 3095 dancing. Seeks SF w/ open heart, easy laugh • and sense of adventure. 3099 J PASSION, MUSIC, ROMANCE, gentleness sen- ; MSKMQWSN suality, playfulness are the essence of my • being. Handsome, health-conscious M ISO « the beauty of a F to taste & savor the fruits * of life. 3054 « BiWM, SENIOR CITIZEN, STILL SEXY. Curiously submissive; sensitive to others' wants. ISO TALL, ATTRACTIVE, WELL-EDUCATED, athletic : your place; mine is occupied. 3310 DJM seeks outgoing, zestful partner, 30-40, * to talk, play, love, connect. Or a little tennis, I Bi-CURIOUS FIRST-TIMER SM LOOKING FOR hiking, biking, swimming would be nice. I Bi-curious M, 18-30. Me: 26, 5'8", 150 lbs., 305 6 j Discretion a must. 3321 SWM, 40, ISO HARDCORE>, 20-40, to hike & ski/ride last remains of winter at Stowe, Sugarbush & Tuckerman Ravine. Must like black labs, NS/ND. Bug spray's a cologne! 305 7 . SICK OF BEING BURNED. Depressed SWM, 18, hardcore fiend, chain smoker, seeks loving embrace in which to drown out life's sorrows. 3060

$ 1 . 9 9 a minute, must be 1 8 + .

* ; I J : j * • *

SUBMISSIVE M, 36, LIKES IT RIPE AND raunchy, seeking dominating M, over 30, for fun. 3325 MR. RIGHT NOW. WM, 39, 5*10", 165 LBS., adventurous, looking for a discreet man to crate some sumer friction. You be masculine and a top; I'll take it from there. 3329

COUNTRY GUY FROM BRISTOL, fit at 55, l o o k i n g for trim, kind and h u m o r o u s nature girl. Former hippies are welcome. Package deal: me, boat, dogs, camp, g o o d wine and kind intellect.

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker's Guide to VT from H?

>c O u t d o o r G c a - Cxchongr-. • used • closeout • new 191 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

Winner also receives dinner for 2 at

DAILY 15 Center St., Burlington 862-9647

ST. ALBANS AREA: BiWM, 42, single, looking for hairy top man. Clean, discreet, intelligent M, 35-45. NA, ND. Quiet times and possible LTR. 3262

MAKE MY WEEKENDS, share my nights & touch. I'm white, prefer black/Asian men. No strings, but steady affair. I'm S, slim, 49, need affection. All ages, discreet, versatile.

TO THIS DAY (GAY MAN), IMAGINE IT WOULD be perfect, "the two of us!" Sow in time, let our imaginations also wander off (together) too! 3272 SOMETHING DIFFERENT. FIT, BiCURIOUS M, 26, 6', 185 lbs., looking for Bi-curious M, 2035, who wants to try something different. No strings. Discretion a must. No mail, please. 22Z6 BiWPM, EARLY 40S, 6', 180 LBS., seriously athletic, marathons, biking, hiking, camping, water skiing. Not into bar scene. ISO selfrespecting masc., fit Bi/GM, 25-45, for friendship and more. 3153 GWM, MID-30S., SEEKING AFFECTIONATE guy for fun and romance. Me: 5*9", 175 lbs., br. hair and hazel eyes. Let's get together. 3158 GWPM, THIN ISO CURIOUS 18-25 YO, any race, to watch videos and be watched. Nothing serious, just fun. Discretion expec-'^1 ted and assured. 3161

6', 175 LBS., BLK./BRN., LATE 30S, muscular, mod. attractive, intelligent & eclectic, looking for fun, outgoing guy, 25-35, collegeeducated, interested in hiking, biking, travelling & just hanging out. No college guys, please. 3047 YOUNG SEEKING YOUNG. BURLINGTON area, 23, brn./blue, 6', 150 lbs., attractive. Enjoys outdoors, oldies, sci-fi. No one over 25. 3053

CU SEEKIN G FOR THREESOME. PLEASE help us fulfill a fantasy. Both late 20s. Must be clean and discreet. Looking for S 0 m e 0 n e 2 0 -

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Bi-CURIOUS W M LOOKING FOR feminine male, 25-35. for first time. You: dom. or dub. Discretion a must and safety required. 3173 ISO A GWM, 250-300 LBS., give or take a few. Any age for fun & friendship. I'm 50, 215 lbs. Let me surprise you big-time. 3062

GO AHEAD. FULFILL YOUR FANTASY OF A threesome. Handsome SWM, 38, educated, cute and sexy, seeks CU, 21-45, for friendship, fun, fantasy fulfillment. I'm lookng for regular get-togethers with nice people, not single encounters. 3318

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f Bi-CURIOUS SM, 31, ISO DOM. F (M/F) to teach me how to be a good servant. Wanting to get into all aspects of lifestyle and maybe find a girlfriend who is into same. 3174 CTRL VT SUBMISSIVE SWM, 22, attractive, horny, kinky, into bondage, role- playing, cross-dressing, etc., wants to be a love slave to dominant F. I'm clean. So must you. Will answer all. 3061

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SM, 25,5*9", 155 LBS., Bl-CURIOUS, LOOKING for CUs, 20-30. for exciting and fun times. Bicurious males welcome. 3320 BlMaWPF, 30S, 5*6", BLOND/BLUE, petite/ shapely, sub/switchable, seeks fit, attractive, BiS/DWPF, sub/curious, race open, NS, articulate, liberal, for friendship/kinky play. Must enjoy men, outdoor sports, dancing, kids, healthy lifestyle. 3290

CU SEEKING F FOR THREESOME. HELP us fulfill a fantasy. Must be clean, discreet, NS. We are 4oish. 3051

$1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

ALEXIS, VIRGO, INTO EVERYTHING COOL w/ a personality to match. Do we have to be opposites? Give me the chance to make you happy. Taurus ISO the right one. 3285

SNAPPLE SEEKING PEOPLE

SAT., 6/12, YOU WERE RIDING YOUR BIKE west towards North Pomfret. I was riding my bike east. Want to ride in the same direction next time? 3287 USA!, UVM GRAD, MUSIC PERSON: You sound interesting, but you didn't leave your number! Please do so! (You left a message

BORN-TOPLEASE Lemon Iced Tea seeks lovely lady to share hot afternoons. Very affectionate, sweet, with a surprise twist. Join me, won't you, for fun, fun, fun? Ad#l771

on 7/7-) 3128

CAT FROM SO. BURLINGTON1 We met twice, briefly, at Sex Mob's Borders gig and later that night at Higher Ground (you made the guest list).Let's talk, OK? Rick. 3278

FLORIDA CU, HERE FOR SUMMER, VERY FIT, very attractive, 38 & 43, fun, high quality, interesting, looking for Cus, Fs who want to enjoy summer activities, laughs, inside/outside. 3295

I NOTICED YOU AT BORDERS ON FATHER'S Day. I have dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin and I was wearing red. You're tall, beautiful blonde. I think you're hot. Let's get to know each other. 3317

MaWPCU, 30S, DOM. MALE, 5-5", BR./BR., muscular, submissive BiF, 5'6", bl./bl., petite. Us: fit, attractive, NS, articulate, educated, kinky, into outdoor sports, camping, dancing. Seeks similar MaPCU w/ BiF. For true friendship/erotic intimacy. 3294

YOU: UPSTAIRS AT 294, BEAUTIFUL SMILE, Bart Simpson spin pop. Me: outside on bicycle by newspaper box. Let's ride home together! 3319

CU SEEKING F FOR THREESOME BEFORE we get married. Please help fulfill fantasy. We are both 25, smokers and a very cute Cu. Looking for ages 23-40, and clean. 3150

6/8, HIGHER GROUND, JAZZ ALL-STARS. You: Hawaiian shirt. Me: asked for a sip of root beer during break. Your looks left me awestruck. Can I have another sip? 3281 TALL, STUNNING & WEARING SANDALS. Bike path, 6/11. 6:30 p.m. at Winooski River & again on way back to waterfront. Me: tall w/ blue helmet & goatee. Care to meet again?

YOUNG CU ISO BIWF FOR THREESOME. NS, dean and discreet a must. 3139 SUMMER FUN. GM LOOKING FOR vigorous baseball-playing (hardball) men/women, gay/straight. Let's hit/ chase fungos, picnic, then trade bodywork massages. Lamoille to Burlington. 3182

3284

"WINDSLOW BOY," NICKELODEON, WED. You: wall seat. Me: aisle. Talked Knicks and movies. Talk again? 3299

SWM, 52, 6', 175 LBS., GOOD SHAPE, ISO F who shares my interest in spanking. 3169

HANNAFORD'S, WILLISTON., SAT. 5/29. You: loading groceries into a trunk of a black car. Me: bldnde hair, sunglasses, Jogbra with jean shirt. I commented about what a beautiful day it was. Are you single? Call me. 3274 STREAM BOY: Disappointed you didn't call. Hope your project in Burlington lasts longer. Enjoy watching you work the machinery and doing good for the environment. Why don't you call? 3125

BUXOM MANGO MADNESS...

Hop on board! The Singles Sunset Cruise, July 23rd

SOULMATE SEARCH-IN-PROGRESS: DWF, 47, 5'6", NS, ND, healthy, artistic, spiritual, optimistic, seeks D/SWM, grounded, happy, cuddly, spiritual, communicative, for companionship an LTR. Exchange photos, letters preferred first. Box 554

W1WF, 5'3", 57. LOOKING FOR honest, serious male, 55-65, to dine, dance, and possible LTR. NS, ND, loves country music, dancing, walking. Box 532 37 YO YOUNGER SISTER OF BROTHER seeks older brother of sister(s), who exercises good judgment, is thoughtful, educated, athletic, witty & interested in an extraordinary relationship. Box 533 WOMAN, 52, 5'5", 125 LBS., MOTHER of school-aged child, seeks kind man with welldeveloped sense of humor and liberal politics to share dinners, movies, summer music outdoors. Ctrl. VT/visit Burlington regularly. Balding dads welcome. Box 529

ACTIVE LIFESTYLES GUY WANTED. Attractive, fit SWF, NS, enjoys biking, walking, boating, working out, skiing, travel, blading and more, seeks caring, adventurous, honest, fit, humorous SWM, NS, 35-45, with same interests. Photo appreciated. Box 555

Summer Peach seeks bronzed god for love among the sand dunes. Sweet and sassy...I'll quench your thirst for love! And if all goes well, I'll still be seeing you in September. Ad#1915

SETH HOWARD, I AM HERE, WAITING for you. Alyson. 3160 RUSTY NAIL, 5/28, YACOVONE BAND. We sort of met; you complimented my dancing. You said you like to dance, so let's! Call me soon, OK? Deb. 3180

MINT ICED TEA SEEKS MALE

See page 14 for details.

IMPROVE US-CANADA RELATIONS. Cosmopolitan, ivy-league Montrealer, DWF, 40s, big brown eyes, many endearing quirks, baggage identified and sorted, seeks discerning long-term accomplice for bantering, loitering, mutual admiration. Box 546 ELEGANT BRUNETTE, 40'S, seeks ironic, sophisticated, tall gentleman, 46+. Foreign film, day trips to Montreal. Help me rake the beach? Box 541

ARTIST/ACADEMIC SEEKS WOMAN OVER 40 with fondness for books. Bach, kayaks, hikes, Maine coast, conversation, cats, rock gardens, old houses,pencilpost beds, lined sheets, tall slim men. Box 553 ENTREPRENEUR BOYFRIEND AVAILABLE FOR a cheerful girl with fervent heart and hands. Age unimportant. The nature of listening and listening to nature provide my senses of purpose, order, direction 8. amusement. Box 549

SEEKING HONORABLE, INTEGRETY, valor, retired military, financially secure, over 6', enjoys NRA, PADI, golf, traveling, loves nature, seeks honorable Swedish wife under 40. Tremendous snuggler a must! Box 535

BOCCE BALL FAN WILL TEACH THE right SPF, 40s, the game, and, if things go well, take her to Italy in the fall. Photo? Box 545

This refreshing, tasty beverage seeks discriminating male with refined taste buds. Loves picnics, midnight snacks and pick-up basketball games. No judgments. Ad#1188

DO YOU LOVE MOVE PREMERES...

11:111

ANYWHERE IN VT. Successful, prof., goodlooking M w/ depth, character 8< great sense of humor. Politics: conservative; lifestyle: anything but. Seeks confident, attractive lady, 40-50, who's curious, intelligent & playful. Let's tatk about our interests & what makes us tick. Photo apprec. Box 540 HAVE YOU COME TO THE REALIZATION that the fairytale isn't about someone else saving you, yet still willing to look the fool for love? DWPM, 41, caring, intelligent, cute, athletic. Looking for LTR. Box 542 SM, 35, SEEKIS FIT, COMPANIONABLE female, 30-40, for summertime outdoor activities on land and water. Interests in sizzling intellectual pursuits and conversations a plus. Box

537 LETS TRAVEL TOGETHER. ISO easy-going, adventurous free-spirit to spend this winter with in the Florida Keys. Me: Long-haired, blue-eyed, fit. You: send letter, photo. Write for details. Let's have fun. Box 552

I'M A SUMMER FLING WAITING TO HAPPEN!

YOU: READING ME "I SPYS" WHILE GIVING A tour. Me: I was listening and thinking that I should flex my muscles. Them: They were wishing they were us. 3265

jSTjTI To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

...seeks individual with exotic tastes. Fun-loving, flamboyant drink desires partner with a thirst for life. Loves to be tickled and squeezed — and remember, it's what's inside that counts. Ad#4456

SWM, 32, ISO WF, 28-36, FOR friendship, companionship, maybe more. Love of rollercoasters, movies and baseball a definite plus. Come play and laugh with me! Box 538 AFFECTIONATE, ATTRACTIVE, TALL, FIT, dad, 31, goal-oriented, pos., own business, country life, occasional 420, mnt. biking, camping, hockey. Love little people? Smile? Sometimes silly? Let's express w/ pen, then. Photo? Box

531

BiWF ISO WF, 18-25, TO SPEND TIME WITH, be friends, maybe more. I like going for walks, camping, playing card games. Whoever responds must like children. Box

550

...black-tie events and stretch limos? Then you're the man for me. Pink Lemonade seeks male escort for nights on the town. Men thirsty for romance need only apply. Ad#4234

LOOKING FOR THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE! I'm single, caring, loving, warm, kind, friendly, honest, loyal, easy-going and lots more. Love to meet some wonderful friends. Please write. Box 544

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READY FOR A ROMANCE THAT W U CHANGE YOU FOREVER? I may not be the one you settle down with, but I will be the one you'll never forget. .. Tough and tender Diet Raspberry Tea seeks female for crazy days and wild nights. Ad#7685

~ J§J

WM, 32 (LOOK YOUNGER), s'6", 125 lbs., seeking nice, honest, compatible, physically fit WM—good friend, not feminine or into drugs/drunkenness, who respects my individuality. Box 543

VERY ATTRACTIVE COUPLE SEEKS COUPLE... ...for delicious afternoon romps. She: Bali Blast (sweet coconut and tart pineapple). He: Mango Madness (lush tropical mango au The open-minded pair for us must have unflagging energy, impeccable taste, and an ability to share. Discretion a must. Ad#1111

LOOKING FOR REAL PEOPLE, ANY RACE. GWM, 45. 5'7". 170 lbs., looking for friends first and maybe more. Like outdoors, flea marts, wood working, cooking and a lot more. Straight acting. Not into drugs. Box 536

nature/).

MAN, KIND. 36, 6', TRIM GWM, professional, thoughtful, honest, caring, creative, romantic, with sense of humor, NS, seeks kindred spirit in southern VT. Box 539

SLENDER YOUNG THINGS, LOOK NO FURTHER!

PWM SEEKS CU FOR DISCREET FUN. I am 4oish, single, tall, clean, ND, physical!; fit. First time and eager to try. Box 548

I've got all the flavor you crave without any of those nasty calories. Your every whim and desire will be satisfied with one sip of my Diet Ruby Red tastiness. A rare find. Ad# 5567

VT BUS, BURL TO BOSTON, 6/15, 6:20 P.M. You had natural brown hair, white sweater, blue tank top. I felt fine sitting across from you 'til I got to Montpelier. Box 551

Like being told what to do? Will you inherit the earth, meek one? Then tough and tender Black and Blueberry is the WhipperSnapple for you. Be a little naughty...and forget the nice. A d # 4 4 0 9

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NATURALLY TIMID?

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. P O I N T Y O U R W E B B R O W S E R TO H T T P : / / W W W . S E V E N D A Y S V T . C O M

TO S U B M I T YOUR MESSAGE

ON-LINE.

H o w to place y o u r FREE p e r s o n a l a d w i t h Person to Person • F I L L OUT T H I S FORM AND MAIL IT TO: P E R S O N A L S , P . O . B o x 1 1 6 4 , B U R L I N G T O N , V T 0 5 4 0 2 OR FAX TO 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 1 5 . P L E A S E CHECK A P P R O P R I A T E CATEGORY. YOU W I L L RECEIVE YOUR BOX # & P A S S C O D E BY MAIL. • F I R S T 3 0 WORDS ARE F R E E WITH P E R S O N TO P E R S O N , ADDITIONAL W O R D S ARE $ 2 EACH EXTRA W O R D . • F R E E RETRIEVAL 2 4 H O U R S A DAY THROUGH THE PRIVATE S O O # . ( D E T A I L S W I L L BE MAILED TO YOU W H E N YOU PLACE YOUR AD.) IT'S SAFE, CONFIDENTIAL AND F U N !

H o w to respond to a p e r s o n a • C H O O S E YOUR FAVORITE ADS AND NOTE THEIR BOX N U M B E R S . • C A L L 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 FROM A T O U C H - T O N E P H O N E . 1 - 9 0 0 # BLOCK? C A L L 1 - 8 0 0 - 7 1 0 - 8 7 2 7 . • FOLLOWING THE VOICE P R O M P T S , P U N C H IN THE 4 - D I G I T BOX # O F T H E AD YOU W I S H TO R E S P O N D J O , OR YOU MAY B R O W S E A S P E C I F I C CATEGORY.

Confidential

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Information

(WE N E E D T H I S T O R U N Y O U R NAME ADDRESS, CITY

STATE

ZIP

.PHONE,

PLEASE, 1E.AD

A VALID

EXCEEDS

3 Q

ADDRESS. W O R D S .

A N D S E N D

C A L L S COST $ 1 . 9 9 PER M I N U T E . YOU M U S T BE OVER 1 8 YEARS O L D .

WORD PERSONAL AD

AD)

PLEASE $ 2

PER

u b ' l ^ l ! ^ ' ^ DOCS NOT INVESTIGATE OR ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY I IhSc^PONSIBILITY OF THE ADVERTISER. SEVEN DAYS ASSUMES

WRITE

CLEARLY.

EXTRA

I CLAIMS MADE I

W O R D . RESPONDENTS ADVERTISEMENT. THE SCREE NT! IS SOLELY . OR REPLY TO. ANY PERSON TO PERSON v MADE AGAINST SEVEN ,EXPENSES I ADVERTISEMENT ,

GUIDELINES: PERSONAL. ADS ARE AVAILABLE FOR PEOPLE SEEKING RELATIONSHIPS. ADS SEEKING TO BUY OR SELL SEXUAL SERVJCES. OR CONTAINING EXPLIC SlJUAL OR ANATOMICAL LANGUAGE WILL BE REFUSED. NO FULL NAMES, STREET ADDRESSES OR PHONE NUMBERS WILL BE PUBLISHED. SEVEN DAY "CSERVCB THE RIGHT TO EDIT OR REFUSE ANY AO. YOU MU1•T BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE TO PLACE OR RESPOND TO A PERSON TO F

A D S IN L E T T E R S O N L Y SECTION ( 3 - D I G 1 T BOX # ) CAN BE CONTACTED I THROUGH THE MAIL. S E A L YOUR R E S P O N S E IN AN E N V E L O P E , WRITE KTHE BOX # ON THE O U T S I D E AND PLACE IN ANOTHER E N V E L O P E WITH L $ 5 FOR EACH R E S P O N S E . A D D R E S S TO : " P E R S O N A L S , C / O P . O . BOX 1 1 6 4 , B U R L I N G T O N , V T 0 5 4 . 0 2 .

Four

FREE

WOMEN MEN

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let our s t a f f help you make sense those mysterious little bottles...

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4 Market S t r e e t S o u t h B u r l i n g t o n • 8 0 2 - 8 6 3 - 2 5 6 9 • Monday - Saturday 8 - 8 • Sunday 1 1 - 6 • w w w . h e a l t h y t i v i n g m a r k e t . c o m