Seven Days, July 3, 1996 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE GOVERNMENT IN ACTION U.S. Rep. Joe Knoilenberg (R-Ml) recently wrote to the Department of Agriculture on behalf of Oink-Oink Inc., a Detroit company that the USDA was allowing to buy pork penises "for use as a pet treat." After several months, however, the USDA began to dye the raw penises green. Oink-Oink thought the green dye would make the product, called Pork Tenderloins, unappealing and discontinued it, taking a $100,000 loss and enraging dog owners who loved the treat. A USDA spokesperson explained that the penises were dyed green to indicate they were not to be eaten by people. FUN AND GAMES IN CHINA When a lack of snow threatened skiing competitions at this year's Asian Winter Games in Yabuli, Manchuria, local farmers gathered snow from valleys and mountains, put it in plastic bags and delivered it on their backs so that the games could begin on schedule, according to the Los Angeles Times. "It was very difficult to find the snow," said one volunteer. "Sometimes you had to go deep in the woods."

• China announced it has invested $2.4 million in tourism facilities for the Shennongjia region in central Hubei Province, home of the fabled Abominable Snowman. In addition to opening a park and museum dedicated to the Yeti, the government is promoting the area to Chinese and foreign travel agencies.

Despite years of searching for the elusive creature, the only indications that it actually exists are thousands of giant footprints and reddish-brown hairs collected by some villagers.

CYBERSPACE CADET Judith Kraines, county contrailer of Reading, Pennsylvania, complained at a county commissioners' meeting that she had to use a typewriter because her computer was old and no one had been able to get it to work for two years. Three days later, she

announced that she had discovered what was wrong with her computer and now it was working fine. It had not been plugged in.

BETTER READ THAN DEAD Twice in three months, Charlie Tomlinsons obituary appeared in the Roanoke (Virginia) Times. The newspaper explained that its employees twice misinterpreted a fax from Tomlinson, director of the Tomlinson Funeral Home, announcing someone ^ else's funeral and inserted T* I* .. . ~asfcL Tomlinsons name the.m deceased. GUNS DONT KILL PEOPLE, ETC. Brandon T. Lally, 23, of Reston, Virginia, was preparing to leave a party to play basketball, but his sister didn't want him to take his 9-mm semiautomatic pistol with him. To show her that it was safe, Lally removed the magazine, placed the gun to his head and pulled the trigger. The gun fired, killing him,

manufacturer in Baltimore Phillip W. Cappella, 34, won a explained he was tired of pay$2.7-million lottery jackpot ing child support and figured that paid him $135,000 a year, ; he would be sent to a federal he filed a tax return listing 'country-club" prison. Instead, $135,716 in winnings and he was booked on state charges, claiming a $65,000 deduction which carry a maximum senfor gambling losses, saving tence of 25 years in a state penhimself about $20,150 in feditentiary. Suddenly Axelrod was eral taxes. When he was audited, he produced 200,000 losing eager to beat the charge, and his lawyer argued that prosecuscratch-off tickets to back up tors failed to prove his actions his claim. Federal prosecutors constituted a bank robbery. said that rather than buying and scratching off 550 tickets MILITARY INTELLIGENCE every day for a year, Cappella When an Army recruiter in actually got the tickets all at Leesburg, Florida, told a once, renting them for $500 woman trying to decide from a man who collected between the Army and the therft from various sources, Navy that the Navy couldn't including the trash. "The one consistent theme in virtually all guarantee her training for an white-collar criminal cases is intelligence job, a Navy greed," said Mark Pearlstein, recruiter went next door and chief of the U.S. Attorneys » told the Army recruiter that Office Economic Crimes Unit, indeed it could. An hour later, "and its my view that this case three Army sergeants, one swinging a crowbar, tried to is well within that theme." trash the Navy office. • When Peter Laurence According to police, two Axelrod, 49, robbed a bank in Marines rushed to help the Oakland Mills, Maryland, he made certain to look directly at Navy. One was hit in the head the bank's video camera, placed with die crowbar, and the other got a black eye. Despite the his hands on the counter to leave his fingerprints, and Army's victory, it lost the

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•

MESSENGER SERVICE I shouldn't be surprised at the Republican response to any

public display of support for

Mart developer viscerally opposed to the environmentalism of Sanders. In hindsight, some of my actions may have

Congressman Bernie Sanders.

been dumb, but understandable considering my

"Attack the messenger if you

many Republican ancestors. Politically correct,

can't attack the message" seems

I'm not.

to be the campaign etiquette of 1990s Republicans." For example, in last weeks

Gerbode, who, I later learned, is a wealthy Wal-

Susan Sweetser and her supporters have noth-

by E r i c

is in a win-win situation. Even if she loses the

SEAT 23A

election, she'll probably be rewarded with a vice-

June 19), Maurice Boisvert of

presidency at a bank or an insurance company.

South Burlington chose to

And she'll have more time to spend with her

dredge up a footnote of 1994's

new family. Congratulations, I say.

by P h i l i p

Fiction

Boisvert calls a "politically cor-

right-wing gun fanatics continues to flourish.

outdoors

As to Boisvert's accusations,

I feel that I must comment on the back-hand-

p a g e 12

Review o / T i e my Bones to H e r Back • page 15

BOAT BUSTERS

Missing the boat? Call the Coast Guard By

B O O M BOOSTER

HOW THE WEST WAS LOST By Ed N e u e r t

Roosevelt.

....page 11

Polston

ronment is despoiled, and if the violence of

Hinesburg

page 7

Not hot enough for you? Try cracking a book

and-bred Republican, whom

remains of the party of Lincoln,

Paula

Routly

page 23

home & garden

I have never threatened anybody

ed compliment of the Discover Jazz Festival by

HARVESTING HISTORY

in the past nor in the present.

one of your readers (Weekly Mail, Seven Days,

Perennial Pleasures specializes in beauty by the yard

In 1994 I was outraged at how

June 26). Whenever a performing artist is con-

some adult males had systemati-

tracted to perform, a press package is sent detail-

cally removed several thousand

ing what the artist will do. This press release is

campaign signs from Bernie's

then included in any publicity for local consump-

supporters throughout

tion. Numbers of instruments are not randomly

Chittenden County, and I attempted to bring it

drawn out of a hat. I do know that M'Boom

to both the police's and the media's attention. I

transported 3400 pounds of equipment to the

was met with indifference and, worse, WCAX

Flynn. That number you can be sure of. How

made it into a mockery, comparing it to some

many instruments that were onstage at the Flynn

phony Halloween prank with the suggestion that

on 6/8/96 I cannot testify to, but I do know that

Sanders' people were responsible. 4

^ each bell, triangle, etc. classified as an instrument.

By Anne G a l l o w a y

page 28

A R T N E W S , L I S T I N G S , O P P O R T U N I T I E S This week, Seven Days * pleased to distribute to selected areas the Artsletter, a quarterly publication of the Vermont Council on the Arts. The summer issue focuses on Vermont theater. Ifyou do not find an Artsletter in your Seven Days and would like one, call 828-3291 for afreecopy.

departments news

quirks

page

week "Ly m a i l . : . . ,

Now to the crux of your reader's complaint. Was

exposure

from removing signs, which were legal and were

Max Roach's personal performance great?

straight

over 75 yards distant from Caroll's headquarters,

Probably not as good as when I first saw him 40

inside

I accidentally bumped his car and caused a small

years ago, but then I'm not as good as I was 40

scratch, which my insurance covered. Insurance

years ago, either, if you catch my drift. I will

companies do not cover intentional acts of vio-

remind your reader of the advice of my 80-year-

lence. I immediately apologized to a Mr. Phil Gerbode and his grown daughter, who wasn't

In an attempt to stop a Caroll supporter

LUST FOR LIT

of expression is again trampled upon, our envi-

Thaddeus Stevens and Teddy

page " 3 . . page

dope

page

track

page

backtalk

page

sound advice

page

old mother: "If you can't say anything nice about

calendar. .

page

anyone, don't say anything at all."

art l i s t i n g s

involved or threatened. Embarrassed, and with-

— L.J. Palardy

out seeing the police report, I later paid a fine

Winooski

for being disorderly and again apologized to Mr.

Letters Policy: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 250 words or less. Include your lull name and a daytime phone number and send 10:

Baruth

accusations. As a former born-

— Dave Pell

page

by Tom P a i n e

By Pamela

However, Vermonters will lose if our freedom

Hunt

CHEEVER'S STORY Fiction

rect moron," I decry what -"•""•WHaH

Fiction

ing to fear from Sanders supporters. Indeed she

Seven Days ("Weekly Mail,"

election to slander me with false

WEBER OR NOT

SEVEN DAYS, RO. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. fax: 865-1015 e-mail: sevenday@together.net Photographers, want to show oft your stuff? Contribute a portfolio shot to "Exposure." Send it to the above address or call for more info.

real

•.

astrology

page 26 page

tal king p i c t u r e s

page 31

wellness directory

page 3 2

classifieds

page

personals

page 34

duane

page 3 4

staff

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Paula Routly, Pamela Polston ART DIRECTOR James Lockridge

DESIGNER/PRODUCTION MANAGER Samantha Hunt CIRCULATION MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS/PERSONALS Maggie Starvish ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Clove Tsindle, Rick Woods, Jennifer Karson, Sasha Bell, Glenn Severance CALENDAR WRITER Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Ned Farquhar, Peter Freyne, Megan Harlan, Ruth Horowitz, Samantha Hunt, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, P. Finn McManamy, Ed Neuert, Tom Paine, Ron Powers, Robert Resnik, Amy Rubin, Barry Snyder, Pascal Spengemann, Maggie Starvish, Molly Stevens CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Sandy Milens, Laury Shea, Natalie Stultz, Matthew Thorsen, Alex Williams ILLUSTRATORS Sarah Ryan, Gary Causer INTERNS Dan King, Nora Crowley

SEVEN DAYS is published by Da Capo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free of charge in greater Burlington, Middlebury, Montpelier, Stowe and the Mad River Valley. Circulation: 12,500. Subscriptions via first-class mail are available for $28 per six months. Please call 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to "Subscriptions" at the address below. For Classifieds/Personals, please call the number below. SEVEN DAYS

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SEVEN DAYS. Out with a bang. COVER ILLUSTRATION &¥ SARAH RYAN

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SEVEN

DAYS

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of their cigarettes before lighting up." Have you never smoked? As an occasional smoker, I learned as a teen the importance of "packing" one's cigarettes before smoking. "Packing" is the process of compressing the tobacco toward the filter end, ensuring smooth burning. Unpacked cigarettes may bum unevenly, which can cause the cherry, or lit portion, to fall off. This process is usually accomplished by tapping the unopened pack repeatedly on the filter end, but an alternative method is to tap an individual cigarette before striking. (I use my watch face as the striking surface.) - Paul Krieg, via the Internet

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I don't believe this. Next you'll be telling me you bury knots at crossroads to get rid of warts. In a half-hearted attempt to be scientific, I bought a pack of cigarettes. I tapped a couple and compared them with some untapped samples. If there was a difference it was only slight. And why should it be otherwise? Sure, we ex-Boy Scouts know you tap the bottom of an ax handle on the ground to seat the ax head more firmly on the other end. But an ax is rigid and heavy,- a cigarette is soft and light. Surely it's not possible to work up enough momentum to significantly compress a product that's already pretty tightly packed to start with. Hot being a smoker and having no desire to start for the sake of something this ridiculous, I didn't put these thoughts to the practical test. But I did call up a couple of the major tobacco companies, and I posted this question to the Usenet. The result, if we eliminate certain extraneous data points, was unanimous agreement that I was right. The most anyone could offer by way of an excuseforthis practice was that it may be a throwback to the days of hand-rolled cigarettes. The best reply came from Bill Penrose of Aurora, Illinois: "The reason people tap cigarettes is because Humphrey Bogart did it. It is one of the rich vocabulary of gestures that cigarettes allow you to make. "1. Tapping cigarette on end: Suave, sophisticated. "2. Throwing cigarette on ground and grinding it out: I'm about to do something significant. "3. Blowing smoke in someone's face: (If a man) let's take it out in the parking lot. (If a woman) How fast can you get your clothes off? "4. Holding smoke a long time and exhaling through nose: I'm thinking real hard. "5. Blowing smoke out through ears: I have defective eustachian tubes. "6. Going to sleep with cigarette in mouth: in the next scene the firemen will be putting out the fire. "7. lighting one cigarette from another: (If a war movie) You can share my foxhole anytime. (Between a woman and a man) We can share oxygen tents. "8. Quitting a three-pack-a-day habit overnight: My doctor just discovered a tumor the size of a cantaloupe. "My $0.02."

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p a g e

SEVEN

DAYS

July

10.

1996

A TRAITOR IN IBM LAND It's stated pretty clearly in black a n d white on the front cover of the Village of Essex Junction's annual r e p o r t : " I N T H E W H O L E W O R L D , T H E R E IS O N L Y O N E ESSEX J U N C T I O N . " A m e n . It's the largest "village" in Vermont, the 12th-largest c o m m u n i t y in the state, and the one true religion in town is k n o w n as IBM. Last Friday the Village Board of Trustees, chaired 1 by an I B M pensioner and stockholder, gave its blessing 1 to a new "tax agreement" that has Big Blue's stamp of | approval. T h e vote, however, was not unanimous. There was one heathen trustee in the bunch, a squeaky 1 wheel by the n a m e of Ron C o u r t . I Mr. C o u r t is serving his first term on the Village Board of Trustees and, unbelievably, he has no ties to § IBM. Court's a real estate broker, a Vietnam vet and a | political neophyte. Needless to say, it's embarrassing for ^ m a n y town officials to have in their midst an Essex | Junction official w h o just doesn't get it..You see, with| out I B M , there is no Essex Junction. I B M is the state's * largest employer, and right-thinking people from | Governor H o w a r d D e a n on down have m a d e it a I required liturgical practice to publicly prostrate themI selves before Big Blue's altar. N o t Ronald C o u r t , how| ever. H e says town officials gave away the farm. H e also | i • | | §

says the tax agreement is a "sellout." Just w h o does he 1 think he is? | As IBM's C E O a n d Most High Chief of All T h a t Is G o o d For America, Lou Gerstner, reported to stock| holders two m o n t h s ago in Atlanta, "We exceeded $70 billion in revenue — a record. W e achieved doubleI digit _ growth _ — our best in a decade. Earnings dou| bled. O u r work force grew for the first time in a n u m | ber of years. Perhaps of most interest to you, our stock 8 price increased 24 percent f r o m 1995. It has increased | another 18 percent in 1996. A n d two I weeks ago the board of directors — — i authorized a 10 percent increase in | our dividend. So by virtually every 'I measure, IBM is growing again." (In 1 case you're counting, $ 7 0 billion is | about 100 times more revenue that jj the state of Vermont takes in annual-

fly.) |

Every other public official in Essex Junction is with the program. |f What's Ronald Court's problem? Well it turns out Mr. C o u r t has the rather farfetched notion that he | has some kind of duty as an elected I official to look at things from the I perspective of what's best for the tax| payers rather than what's best for ™ IBM. In Essex Junction, that can 1 only be classified as a harebrained | notion, because everybody knows that what's best for I B M is by defini| tion what's best for the taxpayers, | right? O n Town Meeting Day, Essex | Junction voters approved, by a four| to-one margin, a measure to get rid ® of the dreaded machinery and equip| m e n t tax. In 1995 the mean, wicked, I bad and nasty M & E tax p u m p e d i $4.1 million into village and school | coffers. O f that a m o u n t , $4 million „ came from Big Blue's monster micro1 electronics facility. Hey, e n o u g h s | enough. It's a competitive industry and Big Blue's got to cut costs. 1 Actually, the charter change voters approved didn't | mention any specifics. It merely authorized local offi^ cials to cut a deal. It empowered officials "to negotiate § and execute assessment and taxation agreements," | between the village "and a taxpayer or taxpayers within • the Village." IBM's n a m e wasn't mentioned, but every| body knew what was up. T h e carrot was a new $1 bil| lion IBM plant known as Fab 2 0 0 0 . To get it, voters 1 would have to cut IBM's tax bite. Simple. | O f course, IBM never m a d e any c o m m i t m e n t s . « Trustee President G e o r g e D u n b a r told Inside Track Big I Blue never said the new tax deal would bring in the | new plant. T h e y never even said the new deal would

keep the current plant in operation. Hey, it's a free 1 country. I Mr. C o u r t has the notion that I B M may have been & a tad too involved in orchestrating the tax agreement. | At last Tuesday's meeting he m a d e a big deal of the fact I that a letter sent to local officials last m o n t h over the " signature of J u n e Carmichael, the chair of the tax comI mittee, originated at the plant. T h e I B M fax I D was | printed clearly on the top of the page. N o b o d y even I bothered to cut it off. T h a t letter advocated the speedy | approval of the proposed deal by the various municipal | bodies "at their next regularly scheduled meeting." T h e I letter also touted the 1 l t h - h o u r cherry that miraculous| Iy appeared in the proposal — a so-called "dollar-fordollar" clause. Should I B M expand its facility with a | project costing more than $ 1 0 million, each dollar | I B M spent on it would mean an equivalent dollar J would be chopped off their M & E tax bill. Who's idea I was that? | Nobody's talking. It's a secret, and in Essex Junction J secrets are perfectly acceptable. Mr. C o u r t m a d e a big I deal of the fact that nobody's taking credit for that part of the proposal. J a m e s Riley, w h o chairs the prudential 1° Bum J u l y

1 0 ,

1 9 9 6

committee (the village school board) told trustees he knows who proposed it, but he won't say who. Last Tuesday C o u r t spent over an h o u r at the trustee meeting raising questions about the new taxbreak deal. H e seized the opportunity because D u n b a r was out of town. H a d George been there, C o u r t wouldn't have gotten more than a minute or two to challenge the deal because, in Essex Junction, meetings are not run according to Robert's Rules of Order. They're run according to George's Rules. George's Rules are based on the fact that — as George himself so eloquently stated last week, " T h e public has enough trust in me a n d the rest of this board that they don't think anything we do would be in violation, but rather in the best interest of the Village at this point in time." T h a t was made clear Friday m o r n i n g when the trustees met to vote on the tax proposal. Mr. C o u r t had the audacity to try to introduce amendments. H e had the wrong-headed notion that, since the voters had never been told anything about the "dollar-for-dollar" scheme, it should be withdrawn. D u e to the fact that three reporters were present, D u n b a r showed remarkable restraint and actually allowed C o u r t to formally propose one of his six amendments. Naturally it was defeated. W h e n C o u r t tried to bring up a second a m e n d m e n t , D u n b a r exploded. "I'm gonna vote on the thing that was presented by the tax committee," stated a justifiably angry Dunbar. "If you want to impeach me, take me to task, do anything you want, that's what we're gonna vote on today. You got any problem with that?" C o u r t zipped his lip. T h e deal passed 4-1. C o u r t was the lone dissenter. T h e guy just doesn't get it. I B M calls the shots in Essex Junction. As Carmichael told Inside Track, "It's a partnership that works. We're very fortunate to have IBM here." It's amazing a guy like Ron C o u r t even got elected in the first place. T h e guy's

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priorities are all screwed up. Makes you wonder who he thinks he represents. Best D o g and Pony Show T h i s Year! — It all happened on the waterfront Monday. T h e gimmick here was, EPA administrator Carol Browner would be formally presented with a copy of the Lake Champlain Management Conference Plan in front of all the cameras (even Vermont E T V had a crew on hand) with the lake in the background. As it turned out, Ms. Browner was one of the lucky few to get one. N o copies were available for press and public. In fact yours truly got pinched for scooping one off the head table and had to give it back. (Ms. Birkenstock h e r s e l f — N a n c y Bazilchuk — snitched.) A spokesw o m a n for the distinguished Lake Champlain Basin Program indicated in very plain English there were only enough copies for "the dignitaries." T h e rest aren't back from the printer, she said. They're due next week. I know, you're thinking why not have the dog-and-pony show next week and hand out the sacred plan then? Problem is, the EPA administrator isn't vacationing in Vermont next week. She's here this week. Ergo lights, camera, etc. T h e pols on hand had afieldday competing to prove their love for Lake Champlain. Mayor Peter Clavelle gave Bernie Sanders all the credit for cleaning up the waterfront. Gov. Dean reminded him that $22 million came from Montpelier. H o - H o also took credit for the lakefront bike path. Jim Jeffords gave the N e w York official on hand a shot, reminding him that back in 1971 Vermont went all the way to the U.S. Supreme C o u r t to get the Empire State to pay attention to Lake Champlain. Jeezum Jim was the attorney general back then who led the charge. Patrick Leahy reminded everybody it's the Senate Appropriations C o m m i t t e e , which he calls home, that blessed the lake with federal funds in the past and will continue to do so in the future, despite Newt and the Republican environmental policies. The hot air got so heavy, one w o m a n was overcome by the heat. Fortunately, Dr. Dean was on hand to provide assistance until the boys from Rescue O n e arrived. A Fond Farewell — It's finally official. Sara Gear is not running for re-election. (But word is, D e n n y Morrisseau is running for the State Senate again.) Saras got an important job working on the G O P national convention in San Diego, and after that the sky's the limit. T h e only question left now is, will she pay back I the $20,000 or more she pocketed over the years in housing reimbursement for spending nights in Montpelier in a rent-free house? Roommates Barbara Grimes and Helen Riehle also cashed in on that one. But Riehle got such ,a guilty conscience when Inside Track broke the story two years ago, she ponied up a check for over $ 2 0 0 0 to repay the state for a year's worth of ill-gotten gains. Sara never paid back a nickel. Gear's legacy: She proved there's something better in life than a free lunch — getting paid to eat a free lunch. •

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SEVEN DAYS

p a g e..-

WEBER Continued

from the cover

the massive blue and white sack of Kingsford briquet When I reached the char-

. . . Summer has arrived. And

The Tattoo Works of Vermont

Free Consultations Sterile • Clean • Comfortable Exotic Body Piercing • Permanent Make-Up 128 N. Main Street St. Albans. VT

35 Years Expcricnce

Artist & Piercer Jim Thibault 802.527.0905

unlike Punxsutawney Phil's springtime search for his shad-

ow, the smell of dozens of barbeques is a proven barometer

Through July 13 Call 6 5 4 - A C T 1

for summer's arrival. While I continued waltzing down the street, I found myself hurdling the cracks in the sidewalk -— not an easy task for my shuffling, size-13 canoes. Oncoming passers-by looked perplexed as they steered clear of my path. Parents tucked their children close to their sides as I repeatedly asked, "Can you smell it? Can ya? Ahhh." Not once but twice I thought I heard ringing bells behind me, but when I turned to look for the ice cream m a n s magical mobile, he was nowhere to be found. As 1 continued dancing over the cracks and inhaling summer's greetings, I suddenly found myself standing next to my

coal's designated home underneath Dad's tool bench, something was different about the sack. It wasn't as big as I remembered, but I had no time to waste wondering about it. Dad was waiting. I scooped up the bag, hoisted it on my right hip and galloped back towards him and the waiting grill. The sight of him staring at his watch made me sprint the remaining distance and drop the bag between Dad and the altar. I looked up at him as I feverishly breathed in and out through my nose, dragon-like, but I couldn't mask the fact that I was out of breath. Dad simply smiled and placed his hand atop my head. I had completed the mission in record time, but more importandy, he swooned over my ability to carry the 20-pound bag rather than drag it. My Dad was

Dad — and

smiling, p but then

backyard.

S started —i shaking

In front of me was

his head

the grand-

as if

daddy of all

some-

grills, the

thing was

quintessen-

wrong. I

tial kiln for

nervously

any and all

swal-

barbeque

lowed,

needs: the Limited Edition Suburban Deluxe Weber Grill. Ever since M o m surprised him with that state-of-the-art outdoor stove on their l £ t h wedding anniversary, Dad's prayed for warm weather to christen the large kettle drum he affectionately coined "Black Beauty." And today was the day. M o m knew enough to have the hardware store assemble it before its arrival home, but that didn't stop Dad from tightening and readjusting the nuts and bolts. Dad and I stared at the monstrous grill, which stood some two feet taller than I. H e ran his handkerchief across Black Beauty one last time, and then turned towards me and nodded, as he had in years t. My sole duty was "char-

causing my bubble gum to slide down my throat. "What's the matter, Dad?" I asked. He started chuckling and replaced his hand atop my head. "Son, I think today's the day you become a man." I immediately coughed, sending my gum back northward, and looked quizzically first at Dad and then at the asyet-untamed black dome. Continuing to smile, he nodded again. My heart pulsed beneath my cherry-red tanktop as I waited for one last sign that, I wasn't dr'eaming. I watched as Dad dragged the picnic bench over to Black Beauty and positioned it alongside those chrome legs. H e lifted me atop the bench

and placed the bag of briretrieval," because I wasn't w l l quettes next to me. I was on allowed near the grill bef my own. I anchored my bubduring and after igniting ....5. 1 ble gum between my molars fire. It didn't matter how and swallowed once more. many times I begged and Dad stepped back. pleaded — Dad always said I T h e countless times I'd wasn't old enough to be near watched my father — adjustthe dangerous flames. So when ing the vents, methodically he nodded, I bolted towards the garage to again drag out

page

SEVEN

DAYS

Continued j ill y

on page &

10,

10 1996

i f - f W r - ^ j t - J ' 'St.

eevers

11 right, then, this

will be my story, if

everyone in the bar

only gets to tell one. I will try

to make my entry righteous, to

sound like a man who's telling

the God's honest truth. It was the day after someone burned down the AIDS outreach clinic, and I was more than ordinarily upset about it, I think. They knew almost immediately that it was arson. People were calling to talk about it all morning. I started to feel like a Berlin Jew on the morning after Krystal Nacht, you know, targeted. You need to add into the equation that I had been dating a guy named Rick for about a year, and we had broken up the week previously. He broke up with me, actually. So I was fairly blue before the fire. But the day after, I was dark, dark blue. I felt as though in one week this whole pretty community in which I'd felt safe and secure had been blown to shards — by Rick from the inside and by some lunatic from the outside. I felt as though I'd just moved to town all over again. If you've lived in Burlington for any time at all, you know the drill when you break up with someone: You immediately section off the town into spheres of influence and — at least if it's a civil break-up, one in which you ritually exchange chattels — you each stay strictly out of the other person's zones. Because neither of you wants some random, brutal Sundaymorning confrontation in front of the bagel store. Neither of you ever specifically

mentions zones to the other, but it's understood. It's Geneva Convention. And the zones are great or small depending on how integral, how frequented they are. The Metronome was my biggest zone; he worked at the computer room at the University, so the whole campus was his. I couldn't come down the length of lower Pearl Street because that's where he lived; he had to avoid South Winooski where I lived. So the afternoon following the fire, I was sitting at home and I decided that only a long, meditative bike ride was going to have any effect on my state of mind. One of those endless rides out on the bikepath, lake off to the left, woods to the right, seagulls tilting. Honesty resides in bike rides like that. The problem was that the bikepath, while it wasn't actually a Rick zone all the time, was a p.m. Rick zone, as he was given to walking his dog there maybe three nights a week. Ordinarily I thought of the thing as mine until five, and his after. His and the dog's, whom I liked one hell of a lot, by the way. That dog and I had no problems, and if Rick thought even half as logically as the dog, we'd be together today. O r if he loved me a quarter as much as the dog, same thing. It was about five-twenty in the afternoon, at this point. You can see it was a judgment call. Protocol was only very weakly in force. So I went for the ride, with the general sense in my mind that people were now actually blowing up facilities designed to stem an epidemic and its effects — that people had taken to trying to help the epidemic — and I was not, on that day, going to have the bikepath taken away from me for any reason. I needed it.

humidity, and the sun was hanging over the water, just beginning to redden on its way down to a very hot-coal orange. I had just about gotten to the point where my legs loosen up and piston without really having to think about it, and I saw Rick and the dog walking about 50 yards ahead of me. There's no mistaking the dog. It's a Great Dane big enough to sit its back end on the couch while its front end watches television. And Rick has an idiosyncratic walk, it would be kind to say. Because — let's face it — Rick Borcini has an extremely fat ass from sitting at the computer all day. So I'm coming up fast behind them. I'm in eighth gear and rolling. I have about four seconds to decide on a course of action, and there are three possibilities. One, I can brake fast and head back, just chop three or four miles off the ride, but of course those are the miles with the scenic overlooks. Two, I can stop and talk and know the entire time that he's pitying me for arranging what can only seem like a faked chance encounter. Or I can speed up and shoot by, and be fairly certain he won't be able to • recognize me. So, needless to say. Now the dog's name is Qiane, or Dydee. She's tan all over, but with a black muzzle. By and large she's docile, even desperate to please. She's really a good animal. But for whatever reason that afternoon — whether she was cranky or frisky or whatever — she was in the mood to bite her leash and tug. This motion brings her big tan backside swinging slowly to the left,

es. Before I'm even aware I'm doing it, I squeeze off on the brakes and kill about 30 percent of my speed. I'm looking to the left, even eyeing the grass shoulder and the trees beyond. I'm still coming fast and my back tire's drifting just a bit, but I've got room and time to make sure I sweep through the gap between the dog and the edge.The only trouble is that fast braking gives off this little whistle, and everyone who's ever walked that bike path knows it. Rick hears it and, seeing Diane swinging to center, grabs quick for her collar. Unfortunately — I'm guessing here now — Diane thinks she's about to be hit for something and flinches left. I crush the brakes, my back wheel shoots forward so I'm perpendicular to the path, and I wish I could say that I don't but I undeniably do. I cream Diane. Or we cream each other. With the two of us together that's a lot of leg to send whipping through the air. It's a serious collision, and she makes that dog sound of injury and absolute recrimination. My head and forearm catch the ground as I pinwheel. Then I'm flat in the grass, at rest, sort of. When I could, I lifted my head a few inches and saw Dydee, limping and whimpering, but standing. That dog is like cut granite. But before I could move or check my wounds, Rick was leaning down over me screaming his head off. He was livid. I can still see his apoplectic little face. Rick's not a very large guy, but he can be a terrier when he's upset. He was screaming that

toward the center of the bikepath. I have some decent bike reflex-

I was just past North Beach, at that stretch where it's just green trees and ivy on either side, and things were fine. It was hot but low

ILLUSTRATION:

SEVEN DAYS

I'd deliberately stalked him and targeted his dog, that I was psychopathic, that I was going to pay for the goddam vet bills, and so on. I just lay in the grass, too weak to tell him not to flatter himself. Finally, he and Diane walked away. About 14 people on Rollerblades and mountain bikes stopped to see if I was okay, because I was bleeding from my forehead and my arm. I just waved them on, smiling for some reason, almost laughing, the way you get when you've suddenly sunk below what you thought was your lowest point. It's funny in a way that gives you a glimpse into insanity. And while I was lying there in the grass bleeding, I was thinking three words: Fuck this town. It seemed like a very true poem, those words. Fuck a town so small your exboyfriend practically leaps out of your refrigerator every time you open the door.-Fuck a town where there's a geeky little arsonist. Just fuck a town like this right up and down. It's time to move on, I was thinking. And that thought got me up and moving. Denver, Colorado, St. Paul, these are large, good places to live. I managed to start walking the bike back down the path, but I had to stop after a few minutes because I caught sight of the blood dripping onto my shirt and it gave me the shakes. I'm not ordinarily squeamish; I just didn't know how bad the cut was. I was passing that little fenced-in complex with the water treatment plant on one side and the new Coast Guard station on the other. A Coast Guard guy was shooting some hoops at this basketball net in the parking lot. He was in a dark blue, short-sleeved outfit that looked almost like a SWAT uniform. He was goofing around — backward lay-ups Continued

GARY

CAUSER

on page

s p o n s o r e d by

W E ' R E OPEN!!! Lunch and Dinner Specials! Great Lounge Fare! Kid's Menu! and much, much MEXICAN RESTAURANT more!! The Champlain Mill, Winooski, Vermont 655-R10S

WEDNESDAY

LIVE MUSIC Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p m No cover. THE HEART OF SOUL (funk-soul '60S-'80S DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. HEARTATTACK WITH ROBERTO RENNA (DJ) 135 Pearl 9 p m., $4/6. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. BREAKAWAY (bluegrass), Vermont Pub & Brewery! 10 p.m. No cover. RUSS & CO. (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. HANNIBAL & AGOSTI (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. ACT 250 (rock) Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. No cover. TAMMY FLETCHER (soul, r&b), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 6 p.m^No cover.

THURSDAY

PARROTHEAD PARTY (Buffett rock), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. GEORGE, BY GEORGE (yankee doodle morsels), lava Love, 8 p.m. No cover. DUCT TAPE & DYNAMITE (poetry and music), Cafe No No, 8 p.m $2. KAMATI DANCE PARTY (African), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N o cover. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N o cover. MARTY MORRISSEY (Celtic), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. No cover. BELIZBEHA, SHU (acid-jazz/soul), C l u b Toast, 9:30 p.m., $6/8. GEORGE PETIT & THE DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Halvorson's, 9 p.m. $2. INTERNATIONAL DJS, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $2/3. OPEN MIKE NIGHT WITH M A R K GALBO (acoustic), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. N o cover. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), Champs, Marble Island, 9 p.m. No cover. SANDRA WRIGHT BLUES BAND, Rusty Nail, Stowe, 8:30 p.m. $4.

FRIDAY

THE FLAMES (r&b), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. N o cover. CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), W i n d j a m m e r , 5 p.m. N o cover. S M O K I N ' G R A S S (bluegrass), Mirabelle's Waterfront Patio, 6 p.m. No cover. TAMAH, A A R O N FLINN (singer-songwriter, acoustic rock), Cafe No No, 9 p.m. $3. CRANIAL PERCH (operatic thrift-shop noiseniks), Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover DOGMA (dijeridoo, drums & bass), Samsara, 8 p.m. N o cover. B L 0 0 Z 0 T 0 M Y (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p m N o cover. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. SANDRA WRIGHT (blues, r&b), Halvorson's, 10

p m $3 MOTEL BROWN, CLOUD PEOPLE (groov?/funk), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $4. SAM BLACK CHURCH, DROWNING MAN, KNINE (alt-rock, punkabilly), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $5/7. BERNIE LARSEN & EMILY SMITH (acoustic reggae), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p m Donations. SAUDADE (Latin salsa), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 N o cover. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel 8 & 10 p.m., $7. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. N o cover. K I M KING'S JUKEBOX (DJ), 6 p.m., followed by CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/5. SPOTLIGHT (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m.

WALT ELMORE & ALL THAT JAZZ, Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 8:30 p.m. No cover. No cover. EAST COAST MUSCLE (rock), Wolf's

Featuring

Lair Colchester, 9 p.m. N o cover. THE URGE (rock), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 10 p.m. N o cover. MICHAEL SULLIVAN TRIO (jazz), Main Street Bar & Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 9 p.m. N o cover. MIKE DEVER & LAUSANNE ALLEN (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6:30 p.m. No cover. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Cafe Banditos, Jeffersonville, 9 p.m., $ 3 CHANGES (rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. N o cover. DOWNPOUR (rock, r&b), T h e Rusty Natl, Stowe, 8:30 p.m. $5. HULLAHBALLOO (rock-blues), WalkAbout Creek Lodge, Stowe, 8:30 p.m. $3. D I A M O N D JIM JAZZ BAND, Diamond Jim's Grille, St. Albans, 8 p.m. N o cover.

July 11 • 8pm

CELTIC JAM SESSION Cafe No No, 1 p.m. No cover. LAURA SIMON'S SHADES OF BLUE (blues), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. CHIN HOI, PEZ FARM, BE THAT WAY (alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $5. RETRO DANCE EXPLOSION (DJ), Club

Flynn Theatre, Burlington VT with special guest Nil Lara

Tickets Available At Flynn Theatre Box Office. Burlington

Peacock Music. P i t t s b u r g h

•UVM C a m p u s Ticket Store, Burlington

S o u n d Source, M i d d l e b u r y

Laser W o r l d Video, Essex

M a i n Street News. M o n t p e l i e r

co sponsor^ by M O ^ X point"'

SATURDAY

Charge by phone 802-86-FLYNN Tan and applicable service char;es additional Dale and lime subject 10 change. Presented by All Points Booking and Metropolitan Entertainment Group

Metronome 9 p m. No cover. LOUISE TAYLOR, JAMIE PERKINS (acoustic singer-songwriters), Vermont Coffeehouse, Vermont Pasta, 9:30 p.m. $5. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N o cover. STEEL BREEZE BLUES BAND, Manhattan Pizza 9 30 N o cover. SAUDADE (Latin salsa), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. N o cover. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. N o cover. YANKEE POT ROAST (folk), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m., $7. LITTLE MARTIN (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/5; afterhours party $3. R M S (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. N o LIGHT UP You could call them cover. SPOTLIGHT (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N o cover. S A M Sir Dudes now — Louisiana ARMSTRONG (jazz), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 8:30 p.m. N o cover. RIK natives and cult heroes The PALIERI (folk), C o m m u n i t y Coff?e House, Ripton, 7:30 p.m. $3. C H A D H O L LISTER, BRIAN MCCONNELL (acoustic rock), Old Foundry, St. Albans, 7 p.m. $3. Subdudes have risen from the LAR DUGGAN TRIO (jazz), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 9 bayou to national favor for their p.m. N o cover. BLOOZOTOMY (blues), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 9:30 p.m. N o ail-American gumbo of rock, cover. CHANGES (rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. N o cover. DOWNPOUR (rock, r&b), T h e Rusty Nail, Stowe, 8:30 p.m. $5. country, gospel and N'awlins-

style r&b. The

SUNDAY FOLK BRUNCH (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 11 a.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE W/DAN GILBERT (acoustic), Vermont Coffeehouse, Vermont Pasta, 8:30 p.m. Donations. RUSS & CO. (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. N o cover. FLEX RECORDS NIGHT (DJs Justin B. & Cousin Dave), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N o cover. GLENDON ENGALLS (jazz), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 11 a.m. No cover.

MONDAY

PRE-SPEAR BURNING DANCE PARTY (roots and dancehall), Java Love, 8 p.m. N o cover. SMOKEHOUSE (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. BURNING SPEAR (reggae legend), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $20. SUB ROSA, CONSTRUCTION JOE (alt-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N o cover. WOMEN'S NIGHT (dinner/Deborah Liv Johnson music), Last Elm, 6/7:30 p.m. $2/Donations. ALLEY CATS JAM (rockblues), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. N o cover. SARAH BLAIR (Irish fiddle), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 9:3 0p.m. N o cover.

TUESDAY

Street) — which also features a guest turn from Bonnie Raitt —

WEDNESDAY

VIRUNGA (African dance party), 10 p.m. $8. "A FLY NAMED LYLE," FEATURING THE JAVA LOVE ROCKETEER BEAT BAND (jazz poetry), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE,

the why store

Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. N o cover. GRIPPO-SKLAR SEXTET (jazz), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. N o cover/$3 under 21. GREAT RED SHARK (rock),

Get your tickets today at:

Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. HEARTATTACK WITH ROBERTO RENNA (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/6. JOHN LACKARD BLUES BAND, Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. THE ADAMS

Or charge by phone 802-86-FLYNN Tax and applicable seivice charges additional. Date and time subject to change. Presented by All Points Booking and Metropolitan Entertainment Group.

Co-sponsored by

album, Primitive Streak (High

OPEN MIC KNIGHT (acoustic), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. FLASHBACK HITS OF THE

NATO (acoustic rock), Cafe N o No, 8 p.m. Donations. JONATHA BROOKE (exStory singer-songwriter), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $8/10, followed by

Flynn Theatre Box Office, Burlington Peacock Music, Pittsburgh , UVM Campus Ticket Store, Burlington Sound Source, Middlebury Laser World Video, Essex Main Street News, Montpelier

lins and cello on their latest

'80S (DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. N o cover/$5 under 21. ORANGE (funk), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N o cover. SMOKEHOUSE (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N o cover. PARIMA JAZZ BAND, Parima Thai Restaurant, 9 p.m. N o cover. MIKE DEVER & LAUSANNE ALLEN (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6:30 p.m. N o cover.

with special guests

'dudes aren't beneath using vio-

(rock), Patches, 9 p.m. No cover.

but in concert you can count on shaking your butt with abandon ..The southerners' appearance in the north July 16 is reason enough to party, but extra swell is the venue: Charlottes Old Lantern. The Subdudes christen — with sweat — the historic sites new club incarnation. Sneakers contributes a Cajun feast. Once Blue opens.

W&N SEVEN DAYS

J u l y

1 0,

1 9 9 6-

G A L L E Y BEAT Across from Frog Hollow Craft Center in Downtown Middlebury ^

THURSDAY

PARROTHEAD PARTY (Buffett rock) Breakwater Cafe, 4 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. S O H A H (grungy groove nuggets), Java Love, 8 p . m . N o cover. UPROOT (world beat), C l u b M e t r o n o m e , 9 p . m . $ 3 . GREAT RED SHARK (rock), Nectar's 9 : 3 0 p m N o cover. RAY LEWIS (blues), V e r m o n t P u b & Brewery, 10 p . m . N o cover. CONSTRUCTION JOE (acoustic P 0 n a t i 0 n f - UPSIDE D 0 W N F R 0 W N ' S 0 M A H (groove-rock), C l u b Toast, 9 : 3 0 p . m . , $ 3 / 5 . Oazz), H a l v o r s o n s , 9 p . m . $ 2 . INTERNATIONAL DJS, 135 Pearl, 9 p . m . , $ 2 / 3 AUGUSTA BROWN (jazz-funk), M a n h a t t a n Pizza, 9 : 3 0 N o cover. OPEN MIKE NIGHT WITH H A R K GALBO (acoustic) C a c t u s C a f e 8 p m . N o c o v e r THE A D A M S (rock), Patches, 9 p . m . N o cover. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), C h a m p s , M a r b l e Island, 9 p . m N o cover. LIVE DJS (eclectic), Charlie-o's, M o n t p e l i e r , 9 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. EAST COAST MUSCLE (rock, r & b ) Rustv 3 Nail, Stowe, 8 : 3 0 p . m . $ 4 .

Check

THE NET RESULT

3 5 0 D o r s e t S t r e e t Burlington 862-5227 -

MAGIC H a T : < | 5 c e r t 5 e r I E S July i6

SATURDAY

INVISIBLE J E l MACHINERY H A L l M U R

( a l t - r o c k ) . C l u b Toast, 9 : 3 0 p . m . , $5. RETRO D A N C E

8:oo

Show Time

with special guest

Rep.

Once Blue

T I C K E T S O N SALE N O W AT T H E F L Y N N B O X O F F I C E \

CALL86-FLYNN

p m COVer m.r^PftmV r M : " THE Q A N G E R S ( r & b ) ' M o n t p e l i e r , 9 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. H U G H POOL (blues), M a d M o u n t a i n Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p . m . N o cover. S U N S H I N E (Top 40), T h e Rustv Nail 7 Stowe, 8 : 3 0 p . m . $ 5 . '

Coming Events

SUNDAY

July 30th, 8:00

Lnurnm / ', " g t o n C o f f e e h o u s e , C i t y M a r k e t , 11 a . m . N o cover. THE LUNAR LUNCHEONETTE W/OUTER M O N G O L I A (gravitational p o s i t r o n ) , Java Love, 8 p . m . N o cover. O P E N M I K E W/KATE B A R C L A Y (acoustic) V e r m o n t Burll

Cajun B B Q by

An irresistable blend of country, gospel, rock, folk and New Orleans

TAD. 1 d f i l i i S ™ ™ n , ° m e ' 9 P m ' N ° C O V e r " P 0 0 F Oazz-rock), M a n h a t t a n Pizza, 9 : 3 0 p . m . N o ^ ^ D T i y n n r i. ' J I M , ™ Y ( a c o u s d c singer-songwriters), V e r m o n t C o f f e e h o u s e , V e r m o n t Pasta, 9:30 p . m . $5. M A R T I N G U I G r o c ^ N a a r s , 9 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. SETH Y A C O V O N E (blues), V e r m o n t P u b & Brewery, 10 p . m . N o cover. BOOTLESS & U N H O R S E D (Irish), Last C h a n c e , 7 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. KATE B A R C L A Y (singer-songwriter), l L LI m Care, 9 p . m . D o n a t i o n s . C O M E D Y Z O N E ( s t a n d - u p ) , Radisson H o t e l , 8 & 10 p.m , $ 7 LITTLE M A R T I N ( D j ) 135 Pear 9 p . m . , $ 4 / 5 ; a f t e r h o u r s party, $3. BLUE FOX (rock-blues), Alley Cats, 9 p . m . N o cover. THE A B A I R B R O S ' ' (rock) Patches P u b H o l i d a y I n n 9 p . m . N o cover. B O B CESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaway's, S h e r a t o n Hotel, 8 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. P A R K S DEPT. (rock), W o l f s Lair, Colchester, p . m . N o cover. T A M A H , DAVE KELLER (singer-songwriter acoustic blues), O l d F o u n d r y , St. Albans, 7 p . m . $3. ALEX BETZ TRIO (jazz), M a i n Street Bar and Grill

(ac0ust,c)

6:oo

the subdudes

CELTIC J A M SESSION, C a f e N o N o , 1 p . m ^ > cover. JENN TABER (jazz), Breakwater C a f e 4*30 -

recordings

T Imported Cigars f r o m the } Dominican Republic •

WOLF L A R S O N (r&b), Charlie-o's, M o n t p e l i e r , 10 p . m . N o cover. M I C H A E L O A K L A N D & ERIC KOELLER (jazz), M a i n Street Bar & Grill D o w n s t a i r s , M o n t p e l i e r , 9 p . m . N o cover. M I K E DEVER & L A U S A N N E ALLEN (folk), T h r e e M o u n t a i n Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. MOTEL B R O W N ( f u n k - r o c k ) , M a d M o u n t a i n Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p . m . N o cover. S U N S H I N E (Top 40), T h e Rusty Nail, Stowe, 8 : 3 0 p . m . $5. D I A M O N D J I M J A Z Z B A N D , D i a m o n d Jim's Grille, St. Albans, 8 p . m . N o cover.

COVer

assortment and

388-2743

EAST C a f e , 4 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), W i n d j a m m e r , 5 p . m . N o cover SOUL S H A K E D O W N PARTY (roots reggae explosion), Java Love, 8 p . m . N o cover. LIVE M U S I C , Samsara, 8 p . m . N o cover. K I P M E A K E R (rock-blues), V e r m o n t P u b & Brewery, 10 p . m . N o cover M A R T I N G U I G U I (rock), Nectar's, 9 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. MID-LIFE CHRYSLER (rock), Halvorson's, 10 p . m . $ 3 P U R E P R E S S U R E ( s o u l / f u n k ) , C l u b M e t r o n o m e , 9 : 3 0 p . m . $4. B A B Y ' S NICKEL B A G , D Y S F U N K S H U N (acid jazz, f u n k / r a p ) , C l u b Toast, 9 : 3 0 p . m . , $xx. DAVE KELLER BLUES B A N D , M a n h a t t a n Pizza, 9 : 3 0 N o cover. R A Y LEWIS (acoustic blues), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p . m . D o n a t i o n s . C O M E D Y Z O N E ( s t a n d - u p ) , Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p . m . , $7. BOOTLESS & U N H O R S E D (Irish), Last C h a n c e , 7 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. K I M K I N G ' S J U K E B O X (DJ), 6 p . m . , followed by C R A I G MITCHELL (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p . m . , $ 4 / 5 . THE A B A I R BROS, (rock), Patches Pub, H o l i d a y I n n , 9 p . m . H I G H L A N D W E A V E R S (Irish), Tuckaway's, S h e r a t o n , 8 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover. N o cover. P A R K S DEPT. (rock), W o l f ' s Lair, Colchester, p . m . N o cover.

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W I L B U R ' S D O G (rock) N e c t a r s 9 . 3 0 p . m . N o cover. MADELINES, GLADLY, P E A K D O W N (alt-rock), C l u b M e t r o n o m e , 9 p . m . N o cover. W O M E N S NIGHT ( d i n n e r movie), Last Elm, 6 / 7 : 3 0 p . m . $ 2 / D o n a t i o n s . ALLEY CATS J A M (rock-blues), Alley Cats, 9 p . m . N o cover. S A R A H B L A I R (Irish fiddle), Charlie-o's, M o n t p e l i e r , 9 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover.

August 26th, 8:00 & his African Beats

Future shows to be announced.

TUESDAY

O P E N M I C K N I G H T (acoustic), Java Love, 8 p . m . N o cover. F L A S H B A C K HITS OF THE ' 8 0 S (DJ), C l u b Toast 9 3 0 D m N o c o v e r / $ 5 u n d e r 2 1 . DEREK TRUCKS, SETH Y A C O V O N E B A N D (blues), C l u b M e t r o n o m e , 9 p . m . $ 4 EAST COAST M SCLE rock) N O BRUCE MCKENZ E & J M MCG,NNIS ( C d t l C Pub P M ^ D P p m T T \ m ^ ' ' )' > ^ p . m N o cover PAR M A J A Z Z B A N D , P a r , m a T h a . R e s t a u r a n t , 9 p . m . N o cover. M I K E DEVER & L A U S A N N E ALLEN (folk), T h r e e M o u n t a i n Lodge, Jettersonville, 6 : 3 0 p . m . N o cover.

WEDNESDAY

CRANIAL PERCH 6 p . m N o cover. THE DATING G A M E ( f u n & prizes), Breakwater C a f e , 4 : 3 0 p . m ^ N o cover. S M O K I N G R A S S (bluegrass), C l u b M e t r o n o m e , 9 p . m . N o cover. O P E N M I K E , Burlington C o f f e e h o u s e , C i t y M a r k e t , 8 p . m . N o cover. HEART OF SOUL ( ' 6 0 s - ' 8 0 s s o u l / j a z z / f u n k D J ) , C l u b Toast 9 3 0 F ™

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Seven Days is on vacation and will not publish July 10 - hence the two-week listings We'll be back July 17. Happy Fourth! j

SEVEN DAYS

Must be 21+ with positive ID.

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The OJdCantern Dancehall is l o o t e d off the F e r ^ a d in Charlotte. Date and Time subject to change. Applicable service charges additional. N #

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SEVEN DAYS

SEAT 23A By Tom

Paine

says, "Put it out!" Everyone is weighing in, and Gary Gill finds himself rising involuntarily from his seat, putting the cigarette to his lips. He looks up and down the plane and takes an exaggerated puff. Taking another long drag and blowing the smoke out his nose, he has the weird feeling that he hates everyone on the plane — everyone but the shaved-headed guy gripping the armrests.

"You think you have the right to kill me because of your ary Gill raises his hand, disgusting habit?" says an old puts his index finger to his woman near first class. temple and pulls an imagi"I'm lighting up right nary trigger. He has been doing now!" yells another man two this for the last few months. It rows ahead of Gill. "Anybody makes him smile and relax. He going to do anything about it?" doesn't know why. "Puuulease!" yells the flight Gary Gill is one year out of attendant at the man two rows college and three months into a up, who is now standing up in new job, traveling America to the aisle puffing angrily. promote Jetskis on inland "Ladies and gentleman," waterways. He's sitting in seat says a Southern voice over the 23A on an Econojet 747 to He bends over and flips intercom, "welcome to Boston from Mobile, Alabama. open his pack and offers the Econojet flight 432 to Boston. He takes a pack of Camels shaved-headed guy a butt. He I'd like to make you aware of from his pocket, looks at the can see the guy's eyeballs swish- someone special flying with pack and up at the yellow, ing like tandem fish behind the you today...sitting right back flashing N O S M O K I N G sign. skin of his eyelids. The guy there in 2 3 D is the new owner releases a long, low groan and Fuck it, he thinks suddenly, of this airline, Mr. Harold shifts in his seat. No one else and lights up. Pick." seems to notice. A flight attenGary Gill is sitting next to Gary Gill leans over and dant runs down the aisle and the window. In the seat next to catches the eye of the businesssays him a burly, bearded guy with man in the bow tie and a shaved head has his says, " You own this eyes screwed airline?" shut, and his The shavedscarred hands headed man are whitesuddenly lurchknuckling es forward as if the armrest. ! trying to He looks , climb from his like he works : seat, and then on an oil rig. falls back A 40-yeargroaning. The old businessflight attendant man sitting across and Mr. Harold the aisle in suspenders Pick look down at the shavedand paisley bow tie has a lapto Gill, "You'll just have to put headed man in surprise, and top open. JHe has papers and that cigarette out right now. It's Gary Gill says, "There, you reports on the empty seat against the law on domestic hear him now? This guy is in beyond. He sniffs, looks over flights." some sort of trouble." and says to Gill, "Sorry, but I T h e shaved-headed guy The pilot comes down the think you should put that out." groans louder. Gary Gill takes aisle, gold on his shoulders, the cigarette out of his mouth Gill takes his cigarette from sweat stains under his pits. He his mouth and looks at it. He and says, "He's having a real looks pissed off. He pushes past knows smoking is illegal on bad dream or something." The the angry smoker, the flight domestic flights. He doesn't shaved guy groans again and attendant and Gary Gill, and know why he is fucking around Gary Gill asks the flight attensays to Pick, "I need to talk to — he doesn't consider himself dant, "Hear that groan?" you, Pick. My wife was just a prick. He is about to aqswer T h e flight attendant shakes patched through from Mobile. the businessman, when there is the shaved-headed guy. He She says a letter came through a groan from the guy with the doesn't wake up. Gill says to the mail saying I've been laid M ^ c a,re„dag|j|thi^ shaved head next to him. Gill been working foj there s something wrong with says to the businessman across ine for 24 years..." the guy. I mean zw//y wrong." the aisle, "You hear this guy Mr. Harold Pick looks ' We 11 worry about that, groan?" down at his closed laptop as if J sman. says the flight attendant. "No," says the bus he expects it to speak to him "But hey, what about th "Now, if you will give me that [gaand says, "I'm sorry, but it was rette? cigarette." really out of my hands, ^ e ' r e Gary Gill A man from about 10 rows cutting back across the board cigarette in his hand to the to the man in the to make this a viable M M * shaved-headed guy with his rear, "Let the guy smoke if he The pilot takes off his cap eyes screwed shut. Just then wants to. It's his funeral." and hands it to Gill. He runs from a couple of rows back a The flight attendant says his hand over his crew-cut and woman says, "Excuse me, but primly, "Sir. Federal regulations says, tapping Pick's chest , would you mind extinguishing now prohibit smoking on all "Twenty-four years I've worked that cigarette?" domestic..." for this airline..." Gill moves his hand to put The guy 10 rows back yells, "Don't you touch me," says out the cigarette and then a "Federal regulations, shit. You Pick, pushing aside the pilot's squeaky voice says from further know what they're doing down finger. "You have a problem, back in the plane, "Let him in Washington?" Gary Gills you go through arbitration." smoke, for chrissake..." turns and sees the guy miming "You're honestly going to masturbating into the aisle. "It's against the law," says cut me out of this airline just T h e flight attendant put her the woman behind him. before I'm fully pensioned?" hands to her mouth. T h e "Smoke one for me!" yells a says the pilot, shaking his head. shaved-headed guy groans harsh voiqe from farther up the "I don't think cut is the loudly. 747, and a voice from the rear Continued on page 14

July t vM

3 & 10, 1996 J i ^ c y iu i

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SEVEN DAYS

t W Tt f

0 Yl

0 f7l

orJ • 6-4 6 L i e '

oatmeal.

Vermont writer Robert Jones lAf A \ • -buries the buffalo T v H J By

Neuert

rite a historical novel and you start out with what seems, to the average ink-stained, bookish sort, a wonderful creative bonus: You get to wallow in research. Put in lots of chair time in libraries, visit interesting places, talk to experts in the field — it sure beats staring at the blinking cursor on a blank screen waiting for inspiration to strike. But, as fun as fact collection may be, it exacts a price; when the words finally hit the page the real stuff should know its place, and not battle to overcome the author's imagination. That's a fight you can feel raging in Robert F. Jones's Tie My Bones to Her Back, and the outcome determines the fate of this novel.

BOOK REVIEW melange of rough riders on

only feebly by the main-chancers and the desperate. Out West Jenny becomes a part of that anything-but-feeble nibbling, the awesome annihilation of the American bison, an event which kept a few mountain men free of the tyranny of the plow. Jones's measured, factfilled sentences do a good job of educating the reader about what a difficult, dangerous, process is wiping out a species of large animals

the run from their pasts. Jones has thrown in a few welcome surprises, like an ex- • Confederate officer haunted by his accidental shooting of Stonewall Jackson; he blames the same trigger finger that now makes his living for causing the defeat of the South. Jones's West is brutal at its core, and Jenny suffers greatly at the hands of some despicable hunters. Then, along with Otto, she is nearly done in by a

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Dousmann, a Wisconsin farm girl, waking one morning in 1873 to encounter in quick succession the suicide of both her parents. The scene has a riveting, laconic tone; a kind of horrible quietness lays over it. The

july

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the buffalo hunt — you can smell the

T h e

sundering of W R |j E ^ C 0 W B 0 Y her family gives Jenny a kind of freedom usually reserved for males in her day. She sells what's left of the family farm and joins her brother Otto, a former Union soldier turned buffalo hunter, on a trek through the great West — a vast reach of country nibbled at

T H €

You get an almost olfactory feeling for

There's no doubt Jones, who lives in the southwest corner of Vermont, can write a taut scene. The opening finds Jenny

•j

V / ,

Author Robert Jones. in the course of a few years. You get an almost olfactory feeling for the buffalo hunt — you can smell the millions of carcasses left to rot across the landscape. The smell transfers to more than a few characters Jenny meets — the familiar

mammoth winter storm. Surviving it, she and her brother seek refuge with a tribe of Indians and, in the novel's greatest turn, become themselves killer? of buffalo hunters, barbed-wire salesmen and other Continued on page 25

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CLOSET Continued

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and stuff. I've played some basketball in my day; So for an exathlete who was half-scared and half-looking for some kind of official to take a look at his head — without making too big a deal out of it — a basketball-playing Coast Guardsman was made to order. Basically 1 went over and stuck my head out at him and said, "Sorry to interrupt, but just how bad does this gash look to you?" He was about an inch taller than me, with one of those eagle noses — a real solid hook that makes its own kind of fashion statement. I've always liked guys with prominent noses. His name was stitched onto his uniform; / Balfoort. And when he answered, his voice came out in a real syrupy Southern accent. Georgia, I found out later. Bremen, Georgia, about 50 miles south of Adanta. J. Balfoort snapped i#to action the minute he looked at my head. He was one of these extremely earnest guys in uniform. He started asking me questions about the impact, and did I lose consciousness? Before I knew it he was taking

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it one last time with the tips of his fingers. "You didn't hit anybody else out there on the bikepath, did you?" "People, you mean?" "Well, yeah, people." "No." , ' He screwed up his face a little. "You didn't hit an animal, did you?" "Unfortunately." 1 nodded and patted the bandage on my arm. He'd done a neat job. "And worse, it was a dog, and the dog belongs to my ex. That's world-class bad luck." Balfoort whistled under his breath. "Well, I hope you didn't kill that dog, else I imagine she's gonna be s&iking you but good." \ ,1 ; I thought about it for a couple of seconds, taking recent events into account. And then I just looked him right in the eye and said it anyway; *He, you mean." : "He, the dog?" "No, he the ex." "Oh." He didn't look completely surprised, more like he'd had some inkling, who knows why. But he didn't look real comfortable, either. Balfoort started gathering up the firstaid supplies. When he turned around, I noticed this red streak up the back of his neck, and I thought, either this guy's such a prude that the mere idea is making him blush, j= or he's a gayJ© basher with a § quick, mean * temper. He o> turned

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SEVEN

DAYS

me into the station. You've probably never been in there — neither had I — but apparently the whole thing cost something like $4.5 million Cottars, and it's quite elegant. Those boys have perks; big windows looking out over the water everywhere, views for which developers would prostitute themselves. Radio rooms full of equipment, a day room with television, ping-pong, pool table. And a first-aid room, which is where J. Balfoort took me. - » "You tore up the skin on Pi your head a good little bit," he told me, stacking some supplies next, to my chair. T h e word . head came out hayid the way he fetid it. "But I think I can juist bandage it. I don't think you're gonna need stitches." And think came out thank. . . . H c cleaned off my forehead, even swabbed my arm where I'd scraped it. Then he put together this makeshift bandage. It was held on with two extrar long criss-crossed Band-aids, so I had what amounted to an oversized Manson-style X right between my eyes. "I think that's gonna hold," he said, pressing

somebody. ! "What kind of a dog was it?" he asked me. His expression was normal enough now. He had a nice smile, a little lopsided, disarming. , ; "Great Dane." "Damn," he said, snapping l ^ - i m g e r f T w a s hoping it was a pood|e. l ean t stomach poo|(6$l';Tbo J§enchified, know what Tin saying?" > | | And then I had the feeling he wa£ shuffling me out of & | § station. He wasn't rude; he'd Stop and show me this or that ut always/moylj

anxious to, well, not beseett with me all of the sudden. I thanked him as we walked, asking him where he was from and all, and h e answered but with- J out really looking at me. V Balfoort Brought me out the side door, die one by their little dock. It was turning dark, and there was just enough cool , J breeze to cat t^e heat. There : was a rescue boat tiecfup at the dock, white with onfi diin bluei and one thick red slash down " the side. Little enclosed cabin for the pilot. < \ y -V v : "That's one snappy boat," I said. I figured I'd try to make

Continued july

on page 29%

3 & 10,

1996

calendar

WEN ©

Wednesday m u s i c

VAUGHAN RECITAL: A chamber ensemble of string teachers plays violin, viola, cello and guitar. Faulkner Recital Hall, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N . H . , 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-2422.

d a n c e FREE SPIRIT D A N C E : Almost anything goes at this weekly barefoot boogie. Earth Dance Healing Arts Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7:30-9 p.m. $5. Info, 482-2827. C O N T A C T IMPROV: You need gravity and guts to participate in this weekly kinetic convergence. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7:15 p.m. $1. Info, 860-3674.

Nation Theater performs at Montpelier City Hall, 8 p.m. $11. And today only: 1:30 p.m. $8. Info, 229-0492. 'OLEANNA': Unadilla Theater takes sides in the battle between the sexes with this in-your-face play by David Mamet. Unadilla Theatre, North Montpelier, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 456-8968. T H E A T E R GALA: The Stowe Theatre Guild kicks it off cabaret style with a fundraising performance of greatest hits. Stowe Town Hall Theater, 6:30 p.m. $30. Info, 253-3961.

k i d s STORY T I M E : Little ones up to age three hear tales at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 11-11:25 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216.

Burlington jumps the gun with early independence. The party starts with a barbecue and ends with fireworks. Governor Dean presents a grant to the Science Center at the Boathouse at 8 p.m. Waterfront Park, Burlington, 4-10 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7090. FIREWORKS CRUISES: Blues for Breakfast gets into the rockets and red glare, 7:30-10:30 p.m. $25. Buck and the Black Cats launch at 8 p.m. $12.50. Leaving from the King Street Ferry Dock, Burlington. Info, 86-FLYNN. COMMIE-KAZE:

T h e

press release warns, "It either flies or dies."

Symphony Orchestra celebrates a century of "Stars and Stripes Forever" with fireworks and marches from around the world. This concert is sold out. Shelburne Farms, 7:30 p.m. $22. Info, 1-800-VSO-9293.

t h e a t e r ' T H E LADY'S N O T FOR B U R N I N G ' : See July 3. ' O U R T O W N ' : See July 3. ' D U C T TAPE & DYNAMITE': A musical poetry slam features five "independent" voices. Cafe No No, Burlington, 8 p.m. $2. Info, 865-5066.. 'PATIENCE': Gilbert and Sullivan parody Oscar Wilde and John Ruskin in a tuneful take on the Aesthetic Movement. Unadilla Theatre, North Montpelier, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 456-8968.

e t c

t h e a t e r ' T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': Accused witch meets'world-weary soldier in a poetic comedy by Christopher Fry. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 8 p.m. $17.50. Info, 654-2281. ' S P A G H E T T I M U R D E R MYSTERY': Explorer-detective Jeffrey Spaulding stars in this carbonara caper concocted by playwright Jim Hogue. Check out the dinner theater at Villa Tragara Restaurant, Waterbury Center, 6 p.m. $35. Reservations, 244-5288. ' O U R T O W N ' : This Pulitzer Prizewinning classic by Thorton Wilder portrays New England the way it was. Lost

The "collective" known as Kamikaze

Comedy,

lands Saturday at the Last Elm Cafe. STORIES: Kids listen while they eat snacks and make crafts at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

e t c CRUISES: The Burlington Parks and Recreation Department cruises with Dr. Jazz at the helm. Spirit of Ethan Allen, Burlington Boathouse, 2 & 4 p.m. $6. Reservations, 862-8300. I N D E P E N D E N C E CELEBRATION:

WATERBURY FARMERS MARKET: The first local strawberries, peas and zucchinis are available, along with dinner items such as pizza, pasta and turnovers. Rusty Parker Park, Waterbury, 3-6 p.m. Free. Info, 434-2690.

thursday m u s i c

P O P S C O N C E R T : The Vermont

Champlain Valley Exp /

•Nashville Bluegrass Band ; *1996 Grammy|Vinner "s •Tim & MollieOBrien •Peter Rowan & Jerry Douglas •V/ild Branck.N.. „•.* •

G friday m u s i c P O P S C O N C E R T : See July 4, Hildene Meadowlands, Manchester. FAMILY BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: The Grammy Award-winning Nashville Bluegrass Band shares a stage with Breakaway, Wild Branch, Banjo Dan and many other local and national acts. Food and camp sites are available. Champlain Valley Exposition, Essex Junction, noon 10:30 p.m. $12-42. Info, 864-3009. ' P O N D S T O C K ' : Check out three days of live rock, country, blues, alternative, reggae and ska across the Lake. Ominous Seapods, Lambsbread, and Perfect Thyroid perform at Twin Ponds

Continued

on page

ction,Vermont

.The ( • .Bob 1 0 fBli .Break • •The I

'CRUISE-INE': The chefs at Mona's Restaurant serve dinner on board. King Street Ferry Dock, Burlington, 7 p.m. $35?. Info, 86-FLYNN. ' G R A N D O L D F O U R T H ' : Turn back the century with horse-drawn wagon rides, an old-fashioned baseball game, a historic town meeting and live music. Proof of Vermont residency gets you in for half price. Shelburne Museum, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $17.50. Info, 985-3346 ext. 395. PARADE Be F I E L D EVENT: Townspeople line Main Street for a noontime parade with floats and four marching bands. Then the crowd heads to the recreation field for pony rides, food booths and live music by Jamie Lee and the Rattlers. Look forfireworksat dusk. Waterbury. Donations. Info, 244-8465. ' F O U R T H O F JULY': Catch the shuttle

bus from the Golden Lion Inn for direct delivery to the Independence Day Parade. The Warren Store hosts postparade music and food. Fireworks go off at Sugarbush South at dusk. Free. Info, 583-2202. ' 1 'OLD VERMONT FOURTH': Celebrate independence in turn-of-thecentury style with patriotic speeches, sack races, ice cream-making and a spelling bee for adults. Billings Farm &c Museum, "Woodstock, 1 1 a.m.- 5 p.m. $6.50. Info, 457-2355. H E A D W E S T R O D E O ' : Ride em, ; cowboy. Let yourself be roped in for the best in equine entertainment and fireworks. Vermont State fairgrounds, Rutland, noon - 10 p.m. $10. Info, 773-2747. •

a Brothers t : & The Joint Qiiefs Nation Valley Band •

•Lost Posse •Banjo Dan & the Midnight* Plowboys f The Lonesome River Band •J.D.Crowe & The New South

Fun for the whole family • Plenty of activities for children

•Children's Sea: •Arts & Crafts

For- t i c k e t s call For information

khkpy

I atomic

July

3 &

10.

1996

86-FLYN IVJ call 864-3009

SEVEN

DAYS

presented by Chris Karr Productions, Inc.

p a g e

calendar Campsite, Peru, N.Y., 6:30 p.m. - 3 a.m. $8; pr the weekend, with camping, for $20. Info, 518-643-9305.

d a n c e SWING DANCE: Swing to live music at the Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 223-4712.

t h e a t e r ' T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': See July 3. 'OUR T O W N ' : See July 3, $13. ' T H E TABOO O F FANTASY': Local playwright Stephen Goldberg takes on issues of morality, censorship and lust in a play inspired by the controversy around Club Fantasy. I i 5 Pearl, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 86-FLYNN. 'HENRY V': War-time patriotism or an expose of conquest? Shakespeare leaves Henry's heroism open to interpretation. Unadilla Theater, North Montpelier, 8 p.m. $12.50. Info, 456-8968.

live model. 150 Elm St., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-5253.

k i d s THEATRE FOR CHILDREN: The Green Mountain Guild makes folk tales interactive for kids four to 12. The Great Animal Contest plays at 11 a.m., The Princess Who Coidd Read the Stars at 1 p.m. First Congregational Church, Burlington. $3-6. Info, 860-8335. STORY TIME: Kids listen up at the

Sunday

rehearsal of the Champlain Echoes. S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6703.

m u s i c

'OLEANNA': See July 3. 'CALVIN COOLIDGE': "Silent Cal" offers More Than Two Words in a oneman show by Jim Cooke. St. Albans Museum, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 524-1508.

POPS CONCERT: See July 4, Trapp Family Concert Meadow, Stowe. Picnic starting at 5:30; the concert begins at 7:30 p.m. $18. FAMILY BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: See July 5, 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. ' P O N D STOCK': See July 5, noon. $5. BAND CONCERT: The Burlington Concert Band entertains against an Adirondack sunset backdrop. Catch the classics, show tunes, marches and novelty tunes at Battery Park, Burlington, 7:15 p.m. Free. Info, 985-3740. FIDDLER CONCERT: They come, they saw. The Northeast Fiddlers Association maintains a musical tradition at the Montpelier Elks Club Hall, 1:305:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 244-8537. CRAFTSBURY CHAMBER PLAYERS: The Vermont-based ensemble kicks off a six-week summer festival with a free bandstand concert featuring works by Weber and Dvorak. Craftbury Common, 7 p.m.

k i d s MUSICAL STORYTIME: Robert Resnik entertains youngsters at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 10:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

INTO

A F R I C A :

Johnny Clegg was

pushing for racial harmony long before the abolition of apartheid in South Africa. He plays with his first partner, Sipho Mchunu, Thursday at the Flynn Theatre.

Saturday m u s i c

POPS CONCERT: See July 4, Pico Resort. FAMILY BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: See July 5, 9 a.m. - 10:30 p.m. ' P O N D STOCK': See July 5, 3 p.m. - 3 a.m. $10.

d a n c e BALLROOM DANCE: Hula with your honey at a ballroom bash with a Hawaiian theme. S. Burlington Middle School, 8 p.m. $14 per couple. Info, 862-0190. BURKLYN BALLET: Pre-professional dancers perform excerpts fromPaquita and Midnight Blue. Dibden Center for the Arts, Johnson State College, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 635-1386.

t h e a t e r T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': See July 3, 2 p.m. $ 12.50 & 8 p.m. $17.50. T H E TABOO OF FANTASY': See July 5. 'OUR T O W N ' : See July 3, $ 13. 'PATIENCE': See July 4, $12.50. 'KAMIKAZE COMEDY': This daring comedy collective promises a "spur-ofthe-moment-seat-of-the-pants ride." Last Elm Cafe, Burlington, 9 p.m. Free. Info, 863-6120. '10 xlO': Chip Haggerty, Jennifer Bloomfield, Adriano Shaplin and seven other solo performers say their piece. Cafe No No, Burlington, 8 p.m. $2. Info, 865-5066.

o r d s

BRET L O T T READING: The critically-acclaimed author of Jewell and The Man Who Owned Vermont reads from his latest collection of short stories, How to Get Home. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier,' 10 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 800-2229796.

r t

ART SESSION: Artists and photographers get a new angle on their art with a

e . 18

w o r d s 'REMEMBERING RAPE AT T H I R TEEN': Martha Ramsey reads from her most recent memoir and earlier prizewinning poems. Painting Building Conference Room, Goddard College, Plainfield, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8311.

k i d s SCAVENGER H U N T : If you're old enough to go to school next year, you're old enough to search for clues at the S. Burlington Library, 2 p.m. Return tomorrow at 2 p.m. for prizes. Free. Register, 658-9010. 'SPYING O N POSEIDON': Did you know there are sunken ships in Lake Champlain? Kids over eight hear the history and the mystery. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 10-11 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. VIDEOS: Koi and the Kola Nuts, and The Monkey People show at the S. Burlington Library, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-9010. STORY TIMES: Children 18 months to three years old listen at 10:30 a.m., those three to five at 9:30 a.m., and kids over four get a chance at 3:30 p.m. S. Burlington Library. Free. Info, 658-9010.

t h e a t e r

' T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': See July 3. 'PATIENCE': See July 4. (

o r d s

ROBERT PINSKY READING: Best [ known for his recent translation of ; Dante's Inferno, the award-winning writer reads The Figured Wheel. Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862IDEA. - "i

k i d s PET SHOW: Kids get prizes for having the pet with the longest ears, the most hair or the most talent. There are nine other competition categories. Battery Park, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0123. FILM SERIES: Preschoolers see flicks at the Lawrence Library, Bristol, 10 a.m. ( 1 Free. Info, 453-2366. STORY H O U R : Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

etc

FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN: See July 7. Magician Tom Verner performs at noon. Singer-songwriter Richard Ruane and the a cappella group Womensing c share the 7 o'clock slot. Jenni and the Jazz Junketeers take over at 8:30 p.m. i T H E USE O F T H E BIBLE FOR ETHICS': Theology professor Anthony Tambasco discusses use of the Bible to support "Christian" ethics, such as condoning holy wars, silencing women and accepting slavery. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 7:30

e t c

e t c 'NATURE'S FIREWORKS': Check out the sound effects and pyrotechnics offered in a woodland celebration of night. Green Mountain Audubon Nature Center, Huntington, 7:30 p.m. $3. Info, 434-3068. 'BURLINGTON SINGLES': Bachelors and bachelorettes meet up at the O'Brien Center, S. Burlington, 8 p.m. $3. Info, 985-9171. R I C H M O N D FARMERS MARKET: Local produce, sweets, jewelry and potted plants are offered under a canopy of white birches by the Winooski River. Volunteers Green, Richmond, 3-6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 434-2690. O U T R I G H T S U P P O R T GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual and questioning youth compare notes at an ongoing support group meeting. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9677.

t h e a t e r

Pownal, 2 p.m. $35. Info, 862-5300.

Fletcher Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

e t c FARMERS MARKETS: Vermont-grown agricultural products and crafts are for sale in the following locations: Burlington City Hall Park, 8:30 a.m. 2:30 p.m. Info, 453-2435. Taft Corners in Williston, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Info, 879-0464. Courthouse parking lot in Montpelier, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 229-1935. Mad River Green in Waitsfield, 9:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. Info, 496-5856. Marbleworks in Middlebury, 9 a.m. - noon. Info, 897-5971. On the green by McMahon Chevrolet, Morrisvilie, 8:30 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 888-5558. Taylor Park in St. Albans, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Info, 868-2029. 'BOATHOUSE RACE': Runners of all ages and abilities haul it five kilometers up the bikepath. Burlington Boathouse, 9 a.m. $6. Info, 864-0123. SMALL BOAT SHOW: Regional boatbuilders show off their handcrafted vessels and the various methods for making them. Cruises, kids activities and food will be available. Lake Champlain Maritime Museum, Basin Harbor, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $7. Info, 475-2022. PEASANT MARKET: Browse for books, greenery, crafts, vintage clothing, antiques and lunch. Middlebury Village Green, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7200. SKYDIVING CELEBRATION: The U.S. Parachute Association celebrates half a century of gravity with jumps and stunts on "Drop Zone Day." Vermont Skydiving Adventure Airstrip, Addison, 9 a.m. - dusk. Free. Info, 802-SKY-DIVE. 'NATIONAL N U D E WEEKEND': Exchange your bathing suit for your birthday suit at this informal gathering of naturists. Cunningham Cove, Westmore, Lake Willoughby, noon - sundown. Free. Info, 744-6565.

Free. Info, 800-639-3443.

t h e a t e r ' T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': See July 3. 'OUR T O W N ' : See July 3, 7 p.m. 'HENRY V': See July 5.

BASEBALL GAME: See July 7, 7 p.m. FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN: See July 7. Joan Wilson tells Appalachian tales at noon. Radoslav Lorkovic plays classical blues and barrelhouse piano at 7 p.m. The Laura Love band plays Afro-Celticfolk-rock at 8:30 p.m. 'SEASONS O F CHANGE': Governor Dean leads a panel discussion about the ftiture of, , j ,, 4 -J Vermont in conjunction with an exhibit of historic photographs from Vermont Life magazine. Statehouse, Montpelier, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 828-3241. MOUNTAIN BIKE RACES: Men, women, teens and kids pedal for applause in weekly races for serious and social bikers. Catamount Family Center, Williston, 6 p.m. $8 per race. Info, 879-6001. AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL WRITE IN: Help save a life for the price

e t c SMALL BOAT SHOW: See July 6. BASEBALL GAME: The Vermont Expos take on Hudson Valley. Centennial Field, Burlington, 2 p.m. $3-5. Info, 655-4200. 'EYEWITNESS T O HIGHER EDUCATION': Renowned education expert David Purpel presents a moral critique of higher education. Farrell Room, St. Edmunds Hall, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2649. FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN: The week-long performing arts festival starts with a community cabaret at 5 p.m. Tammy Fletcher and the Disciples share their musical gospel at 6 p.m. Middlebury Village Green. Free. Info, 388-2727. U N D E R G R O U N D RAILROAD T O U R : Revel in the history of freedom with talks and tours of historic buildings. A talk on the uses of herbs in the Civil War starts at 11:30 a.m., 12:30 p.m. and 1:30 p.m. Start in front of the Brandon Library from 1-3 p.m.. $5. Register, 247-6401. STOWE FARMERS MARKET: Get it fresh, next to the Red Barn Shops in Stowe, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 253-4498. FAMILY WALK: Check out waterfalls in the Winooski Valley Park District on an easy one-mile hike sponsored by the Sierra Club. Meet behind the Old Red Mill, Jericho, 11:15 a.m. Free. Info, 8623249.

GRASS ACT: Expect fancy finger work from the Grammy Awardwinning Nashville Bluegrass Band — one of dozens of local and national acts expected this weekend at the Vermont Bluegrass FAmily Festival. Booked for the first annual? Basin Bluegrass is the following weekend in Brandon. of a stamp. Write a letter to oppose human rights abuses. All materials are provided at the Unitarian Church, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-4838. BUSINESS BREAKFAST: Entrepreneurs share ideas over coffee. Cafe No No, Burlington, 7:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-1208.

fuesday m u s i c

monday m u s i c

OPEN REHEARSAL: Women lend their vocal chords to a harmonious

SEVEN

DAYS

LOLLAPALOOZA: Three stages ofTer simultaneous rock 'n' roll entertainment at the sonic event of the summer. Check out the Ramones, Metallica, Soundgarden, Rancid and side show entertainment by the Shaolin Kung Fu of China. Green Mountain Racetrack,

p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. O L D N O R T H E N D FARMERS MARKET: Fresh organic vegetables can be had for food stamps, cash or "farm to family" coupons at the corner of Elmwood &c Archibald streets, Burlington, 3:30-6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-6248.

Wednesday m u s i c VAUGHAN RECITAL: See July 3. CRAFTSBURY CHAMBER PLAYERS: See July 7. Tonight the ensemble selects works by the masters and contemporary composers for adults, and plays a free afternoon concert for children. UVM

scital Hall, 4:30 & 8 p.m. $10. Info, )0-639-3443.

d a n c e *EE SPIRIT DANCE: See July 3. ONTACT IMPROV: See July 3.

t h e a t e r THE LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': ;e July 3. )LEANNA': See July 3. J T T I C E & LOVAGE': This outra;ous comedy by the author of Amadeus ;nters on the complex and unlikely iendship between two women. Lost lation Theater performs at Montpelier ;ity Hall, 8 p.m. $5.50. Info, 229-0492. rHE ULTIMATE MAN': The Stowe heater Guild presents this brand new lusic comedy made in New York City, ee a world premiere at Stowe Town Hall heater, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 253-7321.

a r t I EALING ART': Artist Carol [acDonald presents a slide lecture etailing how she and others have used rt to recover from childhood sexual wse. Fleming Museum, UVM, urlington, noon. A healing art workiop follows at 1 p.m. Free. Register, 56-0750.

k i d s TORY H O U R : Classics and new ooks, finger plays and cut-and-fold stoes are geared toward the ages of attendig children. This weekly event is held at ie S. Burlington Library, 7 p.m. Free, ifo, 658-9010. TORY TIME: Little ones up to age iree hear tales at the Fletcher Library, urlington, 11-11:25 a.m. Free. Register, 65-72 1 6. TORIES: Kids listen while they eat

Psychotherapist Marti Killelea introduces Emotional-Kinesthetic Psychotherapy. Upstairs at 22 Church St., Burlington, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 864-3728. NATURE WALK: A field naturalist introduces you to summer birds and Lake Champlain geology. South Porch of the Inn at Shelburne Farms, 6:30-8:30 a.m. $4. Register, 985-8686.

ton Library, 1 p.m. Free. Register, 658-9010. STORY TIME: Preschoolers hear tales at the Lawrence Library, Bristol, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 453-2366. PARENTS ANONYMOUS: Terrible twos or teens? Get support for parenting while your kids play next door. Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800-639-4014.

e t c

thursday

'CRUISE-INE': See July 4. Dockside Restaurant does the cooking. BASEBALL GAME: See July 7. The m u s i c Expos take on Lowell. CRAFTSBURY CHAMBER PLAYERS: - FESTIVAL ON T H E GREEN: See July See July 10, HardwickTown House, 2 & 7. The Red Wing Puppet Theater performs 8 p.m. at noon. Singer-songwriter Vance Gilbert J O H N N Y CLEGG: Johnny Clegg plays at 7 p.m. And Patty Larkin, master formed Savuka when his original ensemguitarist, sings her songs at 8:30 p.m. ble, Juluka, broke up. Together again, the SENIOR SUMMERFEST: Elders original group reunites for a rousing retchoose from six workshop offerings on rospective tour at the Flynn Theatre, topics such as "Eating Well to Heart's Burlington, 8 p.m. $19.50-27.50. Info, Content" and "Tai Chi Chih." Ruggles 86-FLYNN. House, 262 S. Prospect, Burlington, 10 T H E PERSUASIONS: Thirty-four years a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-0401. after they opened for Dionne Warwick, NATUROPATHIC CELEBRATION: this a cappella group performs "Right It's legal, thanks to the Vermont Around The Corner," at Briggs Opera Legislature. Licensed naturopaths thank House, White River Junction, 7 p.m. their supporters with music, dancing, $22.50. Info, 295-5432. volleyball, tennis, swimming, condiments, salads, ice and a grill. Oakledge t h e a t e r Park, Burlington, 6-9 p.m. $3 to park. ' T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': Reservations, 985-8250. See July 3. N O W MEETING: Organize around 'LETTICE & LOVAGE': See July 10, $11. feminist issues with the local chapter of ' T H E TABOO OF FANTASY": See July 5. the National Organization for Women. 'HENRY V': See July 5, $10. Memorial Room, Montpelier City Hall, ' T H E ULTIMATE MAN': See July 10. 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-4383. CABARET SHAKESPEARE: Catch TOASTMASTERS MEETING: Hone bawdy, boisterous flashes of the Bard at your speaking, listening and leadership Grunberg Haus, Waterbury, 8 p.m. $6. skills at the Econolodge, S. Burlington, 7 Info, 456-1123. p.m. Free. Info, 878-3550.

dozen groups from all over the East play for three blistering days. Take your own lawn chairs. Brandon, 4-10:45 p.m. $8 for the day or $28 for the weekend, including camping. Info, 247-3275.

d a n c e DANCE PARTY: The rooftop ballroom is one hot place to mambo. Cut the rug while the sun sets at Quality Suites Hotel, S. Burlington, 8-11 p.m. $7. Info, 860-1112.

t h e a t e r T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': See July 3. 'PATIENCE': See July 4, $12.50. 'THE TABOO OF FANTASY': See July 5. 'LETTICE & LOVAGE': See July 10, $13. ' T H E ULTIMATE MAN': See July 10. CABARET SHAKESPEARE: See July 11. 'CROWDS': Toe-Knuckle-Jaw-Bone Theatre performs a full-length "staged poetry" piece. First Congregational Church, Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 878-1958.

3 p.m. - 1 p.m. Sunday. $25-60 for three days. Register, 864-5595. BALLOON FESTIVAL: Dozens of hotair balloons lift off from the Stoweflake Resort at 6:30 p.m. Free to watch. Jnfo, 253-7321.

m u s i c BASIN BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: See July 12, 9:45 a.m. - 11:15 p.m. $14. REGGAE FESTIVAL: Burning Spear, Israel Vibrations and Roots Radics rock reggae-style at the Addison County Field Days Facility, New Haven, 9 a.m. - dusk. $20 per car, bodies are free. Info, 862-3092. CONCERT-IN-THE-PARIC: The Last Elm String Band leads a day of folk songs, clogging, dulcimer and guitar playing. The music will be followed by a potluck and contra dance. Camp Ingalls, N. Hero, 3-10 p.m. $8. Info, 372-4690.

r d s

DOBYNS READING: Poet and mystery writer Stephen Dobyns reads from and signs his new book of verse, Common Carnage. Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

k i d s MUSICAL STORYTIME: Robert Resnik entertains youngsters at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 10:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

e t c R I C H M O N D FARMERS MARKET: See July 5. O U T R I G H T S U P P O R T GROUP: See July 5.

Saturday

d a n c e BURKLYN BALLET: See July 6. Tonight, see excerpts from Don Quixote and the prologue of Sleeping Beauty. C O N T R A DANCE: Jack Janssen calls for the Fiddleheads. The Champlain Valley Festival benefits. Southwick Hall, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 865-9363.

t h e a t e r ' T H E LADY'S N O T FOR BURNING': See July 3. ' T H E TABOO O F FANTASY': See July 5. 'HENRY V': See July 5. 'LETTICE & LOVAGE': See July 10, $13. ' T H E ULTIMATE MAN': See July 10. CABARET SHAKESPEARE: See July 11. 'CROWDS': See July 12.

a r t ART SESSION: See July 6. A R T IN T H E PARK': Food, music and an outdoor gallery come to Rusty Parker Park, Waterbury, 10 a.m - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 434-2690.

k i d s THEATRE FOR CHILDREN: See July 6. REDWING P U P P E T THEATRE: Music, juggling and puppetry entertain families. Pajamas are welcome at the Community Center in Jericho, 7 p.m. $3. Info, 899-5035. STORY TIME: Kids listen up at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

e t c

lacks and make crafts at the Children's ages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 55-1537.

e t c WATERBURY FARMERS MARKET: !e July 3.

IASEBALL GAME: See July 7. The ermont Expos take on Pittsfield. ESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN: See July • Mike Quinn leads a family dance at oon. The Green Mountain Jazz lounds, a big band, take the stage at 7 •n. Mary Jane Lamond performs Mhentic Gaelic songs from Cape Breton 18:30 p.m. :iTY HALL PARK SERIES: Shop for 't and arugula at a harmonic converg e with jazzy Jenni and Friends, urlington City Hall Park, 5:30-7:30 •m. Free. Info, 864-0123. SYCHOTHERAPY I N T R O :

a r t DRAWING SESSION: See July 5.

o r d s

DANIEL LUSK READING: The Vermont poet who coordinates the writing program at the University of Vermont reads and signs Cow Wars. Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

k i d s 'I SPY MYSTERY': Find out how to make and solve a mystery with awardwinning author Jean Mar^ollo. Kids over five gather at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 1:30-2:30 p.m. Free. Register, 865-721& FILM ANIMATION: Make a flipbook, learn the history of animation, and see films made by kids and pros. S. Burling-

A D O P T I O N SUPPORT MEETING: The recently passed Adoption Reform Bill is the subject of discussion. Methodist Church, Shelburne, 6:30-9:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2464. O U T R I G H T MEN'S GROUP: Gay and bisexual men under 23 talk about their issues. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9677.

friday m u s i c

PEPSI AT N O O N : Hannibal and Agosti performs all styles of music, from Jimmy Buffet to Simon and Garfunkel. Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, noon - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 863-1648. BASIN BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: A

SEVEN I

DAYS

FARMERS MARKETS: See July 6. BASEBALL GAME: See July 7. The Expos take on Batavia. BALLOON FESTIVAL: See July 12, 6:30 a.m. & 6:30 p.m. FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN: See July 7. Teen rockers Kevin Powers, Ethan Fitzpatrick and Walter Stone kick off an afternoon of musical offerings that includes North Union, Pete Sutherland and the Woods Tea Company. The Vermont Jazz Ensemble gets a street dance going at 7. BODY, M I N D & SPIRIT EXPO: Check out exhibiting dowsers, acupuncturists, massage therapists and channelers at a day-long celebration of spiritual healing. Optional paid workshops can earn you continuing ed credits. SheratonBurlington, 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. $5. Info, 865-22422. MIDSUMMER MEDIEVAL FESTIVAL: Midsummer goes medieval with a morning parade, Maypole dance, King Arthur stories — and some anachronistic blues and classical music. The Vermont Philharmonic plays at 7 p.m. Statehouse Lawn, Montpelier, 10:15 a.m. - 9:30 p.m. $10. Info, 800-639-1383. CELEBRITY GOLF: Lyle Waggoner, Yogi Berra, Suzy Chaffee and dozens of other notables play golf at the Stowe Country Club at 10 a.m., then enjoy a banquet, silent auction and cabaret at the Radisson in Burlington at 6 p.m. to benefit the Visiting Nurses Association. $100. Info, 658-1900. BASEBALL GAME: See July 7, 7 p.m. The Expos take on Lowell. FESTIVAL O N T H E GREEN: See July 7. Award-winning folkster John McCutcheon plays at noon and 8:30 p.m. Popcorn Behavior, a group of young fiddlers from Southern Vermont, takes the stage at 7 p.m. BENEFIT CRUISE: Hospice benefits from a floating summer style show. King Street Ferry Dock, Burlington, noon. $35. Info, 860-4437. MIDSUMMER MEDIEVAL'FESTIVAL: A five-course medieval meal, with music, kicks off the Midsummer Festival of the Arts. Capitol Plaza Hotel, Montpelier, 6 p.m. $30. Reservations, 800-639-1383. JEWISH LESBIAN C A M P O U T : Three days of workshops, rituals, schmoozing and k vetch trig exclude shiksas. Huntington Open Women's Land,

Sunday m u s i c

BAND C O N C E R T : See July 7. BASIN BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: See July 12, 10 a.m. - 5:45 p.m. with gospel from 10 a.m. to 12:20. $10. V E R M O N T M O Z A R T FESTIVAL: ' The Grand Opening Concert is sold out. Ticket holders can look forward to a dressage exhibition, followed by a rousing musical display of Rossini, Mozart and Schubert. Shelburne Farms, 6:30 p.m. $18. Info, 800-639-9097.

Continued

on page

p a g e

CONTACT IMPROV: See July 3.

Did someone say Afro-Celtic? Laura Love pulls it off Monday in Middlebury, at the annual eight-day Festival on the Green. TRUE

LOVE:

k i d s STORY HOUR: See July 10. S. Burlington Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-9010. 'ROCK' PROGRAM: Preschoolers and their parents listen to "rock music" on a geologic exploration of hard places. Green Mountain Audubon Nature Center, Huntington, 1 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068. MS FRIZZLE: Second graders and up solve science mysteries. Community Center in Jericho, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 899-3324. STORY TIME: Little ones up to age three hear tales at the Fletcher Library, Burlington,

stalked by a former fiancee. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 8 p.m. $17.50. Info, 654-2281.

k i d s CARDBOARD BOX PARADE: Area youths are invited to push, carry or pull a box decorated in an Olympic theme. Unitarian Church, Burlington, noon. Info, 864-0123. PAPER FOLDING WORKSHOP: Make paper float, fly and jump. Kid over six craft at the S. Burlington Library, 1-2 p.m. Free. Register, 658-9010. STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. &C 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

Farm, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m. $11.50-25. Info, 603-646-2422.

Wednesday m u s i c

VAUGHAN RECITAL: See July 3. CRAFTSBURY CHAMBER PLAYERS: See July 11, 4:30 & 8 p.m. $10. Info, 800-639-3443. MOZART FESTIVAL: Scott Thornburg joins the New York Chamber Soloists for a baroque break at the Robert Frost Cabin, Ripton, 8 p.m. $18. Info, 800639-9097.

NAKED BUNCH: The "emperor" is expected this weekend in Lake Willoughby, along with dozens of other birthday suit bathers. The coldest — and boldest — body of water in Vermont is the perfect spot for serious naturalists. Pray for a warming trend. Cunningham Cove, Westmore, Lake Willoughby, noon - sundown. Free. Info, 744-6565.

NOAH PROBLEM: Hairiest pet. Cutest rodent. The categories are very creative at a pet show for kids. The qualifications are equally relaxed. "Any pet that breathes and isn't human can be entered — except insects." Skip the Battery Park, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0123.

d a n c e

lava °

Or fax 802-865-1015.

M I N D YOUR BUSINESS: Anyone out there? Direct your existential questions to the exhibitors at an organized gathering of alternative healers. This expo goes beyond astrology and channeling to aura photography and live blood analysis. Sheraton Conference Center, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. $5. Info, 865-2422.

DREAD HEADS: The jammin' starts early this year at the Vermont Reggae Fest — a jah-valicious celebration of rasta rhythms. Burning Spear, Israel Vibration and Roots Radios headline the day-long dread fest. Wonder what the local farmers will think of this? Addison County Fair Grounds, New Haven, 9 a.m. - dusk. Info, 862-3092.

FRENCH SPIRIT: Forget about the moldy flour and cake. Good wine would have quelled the rioting revolutionaries three centuries ago in Paris. It does the trick on floating francophiles aboard the S.S. Bastille. Wine tasting is Leaving from the King Street Ferry Dock at 1:30 p.m., Burlington. Info,

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9pm ©pm ©pm ©pm

FRI.-7/12 -THURS. 7/25 6:30

8:30

8:50

Liv Tyler Jeremy Irons " I

S N

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D O

all organic equal exchange coffees and more!

U X

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T A

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V I

The Rusty Nail

Vermont's Newest and Largest Nightclub On the Mountain RoadrSttMe, Vermont 253-NAIL esday 5-10 ty Wail Deck Party! .501 Microbrews ecials menr chis week

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Dizzying'ly b e a u t i f u l ! '

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£©

A I'll.M BY Todd Solondz

THE S A V O Y THEATER

26 Main St. Montpelier 229 0509

26 Main St. Montpelier 229-0509

2 0.

Burlington, j 05402-1164,

lower village • stowe 253-4733

No. Winooski five, fi Pearl St

- |a„«i M a . l ' n , T H H N K \ V Y O R K T I M K 5

p a g e

Send to: S E V E N D A Y S P.O. Box 1164,

NATURAL MARKET

love

8pm tuesday the burlytown beanery p r e s e n t s open mic knight acoustic!

"A morddntly hilarious suburban comcdy with a fine vonj'otinco alonj> with flashes of j'(reat, unexpected tenderness...Devilishly funny." -Janet Masliti, The New York Times

S E V E N D A Y S edits tor space and style.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

open weekdays: 10 a.m. -11 p.m. or to weekends: 11 a.m. - midnite or so

6:30

ELDER QUEST: Too old for Lollapalooza? Try Senior Summerfest, offering workshops in hearing loss, tai chi and stroke prevention. Pain-free longevity is the purpose of the day-long symposium "promoting successful and productive aging." I feel older already. Ruggles House, Burlington, 10 a.m. 2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2886.

Vanilla a n d Original $1.79 e a c h

88 Church Street Burlington

THRU THURS. 7/11

Thursday before publication.

e mail: sevenday@together.net

EDENSOY EXTRA

w m V f A P .

Call 654^ACT 1

Submissions lor calendar, clubs and art listings are due in writing on the

Happy Fourth o f July SALE!

MWO^D)

T h r o u g h July 13

Calendar is written by Clove Tsindle.

FREE SPIRIT DANCE: See July 3.

WHAT? SPEAK UP! THERE'S A BIG SALE AT

\d fat Mufimuf

etc

WATERBURY FARMERS MARKET: See July 3. BASEBALL GAME: See July 7, 7 p.m. CITY HALL PARK SERIES: See July 14. BIG APPLE CIRCUS: See July 16, 4 & 8 p.m. LAND CONSERVATION PROGRAM: "Inspiration and Ethics" explores the personal side of land conservation. LivingLearning Complex, UVM, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. $50. Info, 656-4055. BIKE PATH MEETING: A transportation meeting includes a public hearing on funding a second South Burlington bike path. Regional Planning Office, Essex Junction, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3004. NATURE WALK: A field naturalist introduces you to the natural history of the

local birds and trees of shore, wetlqnds, meadow and woods. South Porch of the Inn at Shelburne Farms, 6:30-8:30 a.m. $4. Register, 985-8686. VICTORIAN SOCIAL: Eat ice cream and play croquet in period dress. All ages listen to music on the Statehouse Lawn, Montpelier, 6:30 p.m. Info, 229-5200. LIONS CLUB AUCTION: Check out the barbecue, new and used items. Middlebury Green, 6 p.m. Info, 388-1455.

6th

etc

BASEBALL GAME: See July 7, 7 p.m. The Expos take on Williamsport. OLD N O R T H END FARMERS MARKET: See July 9. 'CONSERVING T H E WORKING LANDSCAPE': See July 15. A field trip ends the conference. 8 a.m. - noon. $20 alone, free to conference folks. Or take an aerial field trip at 9 a.m., noon or 3 p.m. $45. 'SPIRITUALITY & LITURGY': Reverend Richard Fragomeni talks spirituality and liturgy in a lecture on "Making Sense of the Whirlwind." McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. BIG APPLE CIRCUS: A high-flying Russian aerial group is featured in a new show entitled, "Jazzmatazz." Fullington

t h e a t e r

'HENRY V': See July 5. 'LETTICE & LOVAGE': See July 10, 1:30 p.m. $8 & 8 p.m. $11. 'MURDER ON THE NILE': See July 16.

11-11:25 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. STORIES: Kids listen while they eat snacks and make crafts at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

o a

featu 7/4 The

t j

o 2

n x

days . s a t f l Bfues NiatojJ mont's Finest Rhythm & Blues ndary Sandra Wright Blues Band Friday 7/5 & Saturday 7/6 Rock n Roll with

Downpour!

SEVEN DAYS

j u l y

1Q,

1996

classes

art & craft

W O O D C R A F T I N G : July & August at the Wood School, Burlington. Register, 864-4454. Beginning woodworkers make Shaker oval boxes, or learn decorative furniture painting. 'A R O O M O F O N E ' S O W N ' : Two weeks of Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays & Fridays, July 21 - August 2, 9 a.m. 2 p.m. Yestermorrow Design-Build School, Warren. Info and free catalog of classes, 496-5545. An adult art class uses guided relaxation, symbols, dreams and myths to explore painting and drawing as an expression of self.

boat-building BOAT-BUILDING: July & August at the Wood School, Burlington. Register, 864-4454. Beginning adults and teensbuild their own lightweight canoes. Teens take a two-night trip in the completed boats.

dance M O D E R N / J A Z Z : Beginners, Thursdays, 7:15 p.m. Slow-intermediate, Tuesdays, 7 p.m. Intermediate-advanced, Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m. Olympiad, S. Burlington. $9. Info, 985-5216. Jane Selzer leads ongoing classes.

design-build UNIVERSAL D E S I G N : Friday Sunday, July 19-21. Yestermorrow Design-Build School, Warren. Info and free catalog of classes, 496-5545. Martin Gehner, architecture professor at Yale, works with students to design accessible environments and workplacesfarprojects of their choice. O L D H O U S E ASSESSMENT: Saturday &: Sunday, July 21 & 22. Yestermorrow Design-Build School, Warren. Info and free catalog of classes, 496-5545. This introductory workshop

Continued

looks at analyzing historic house materials, environmentally-related problems and structures, and planning far restoration, renovation and maintenance. M O S A I C M O R T A R SPORTS: Saturday-Sunday, July 20-21. Yestermorrow Design-Build School, Warren. Info and free catalog of classes, 496-5545. Seattle public artists Linda Beaumont and Steve Badanes lead a hands-on collaborative expression'of materials and the individuals involved. DURABLE D E S I G N / B U I L D : Two weeks of Mondays-Fridays, July 21 August 2. Yestermorrow Design-Build School, Warren. Info and free catalog of classes, 496-5545. Work with architects and builders to design and build a public arts project for a real client. College credit is available.

herbal medicine FIRST A I D KIT: Sunday, July 7, 9 a.m.-noon. Purple Shutter Herbs, Burlington. $35. Register, 865-HERB. Experience the fun of making your own liniments, rubs and salves. Then take home a kit, ready to use. 'BELLY BLUES': Monday, July 8, 7-9 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Burlington. Sliding scale. Register, 865-HERB. Learn to use herbs for ulcers, gas, the runs and heartburn, and how to make waterbased preparations. HERBAL PLEASURES O F S U M MER: Thursday, July 11, 6-9:30 p.m. Purple Shutter Herbs, Burlington. $25Register, 8 6 5 - H E R B . M a k e and ingest teas, vinegar, boursin, popcorn seasoning oils and herbal honey HERBAL A C T I O N S & PREPARAT I O N S : Thursday, July 11, 7 p.m. Trinity Church, Montpelier. $5. Register, 456-1522. Learn how to find out the medicinal actions of a plant without opening a book. And learn to make some weirdly-named water-based preparations.

' H E N R Y V': See July 5, $12.50. ' L E T T I C E & LOVAGE': See July 10, $11.

in-line skating

etc

SKATING C L I N I C : Tuesdays & Thursdays, 6 & 7:15 p.m. Fort Ethan Allen Fitness, Colchester. $10. Info, 658-3313 ext.253- All levels learn from the best in the business. Gear is provided.

ART O F P H O T O G R A P H Y ' : Saturdays, July 13 - August 17, 10 a.m. Vermont Studio Center Lecture Hall, Johnson. Free. Info, 635-2727. Seymour Weinstock of New York teaches tricks of the trade to all levels.

psychotherapy INTRO T O EMOTIONAL-KINEST H E T I C PSYCHOTHERAPY': Wednesday, July 10 or 24, 7 p.m. Upstairs at 22 Church St., Burlington. $5. Info, 864-3728. Psychotherapist Marti Killelea offers an introduction.

tai chi

HWA YU TAI C H I : Summer classes in Montpelier, Hardwick and Greensboro. Register, 456-1983. Instructor Ellen Hayes has over 20 years experience. TAI C H I : Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. & 8-9 p.m. Food For Thought, Stowe, $10. Info, 253-4733. John DiCarlo leads ongoing classes.

BASEBALL GAME: See July 7. T h e Expos take on Batavia. S T O W E FARMERS MARKET: See July 7. BALLOON FESTIVAL: See July 12, 6:30 a.m. CELEBRITY GOLF: See July 13. Today's golfing begins with a trick shot exhibition at 10:30 a.m. in Stowe, and ends with a clambake and dance at 6 p.m. for $50. W I N E T A S T I N G CRUISE: A floating celebration of French Independence Day features vins of all persuasions. Leaving from the King Street Ferry Dock, 1:30 p.m. Burlington. Info, 864-9804. $30 C I T Y HALL PARK SERIES: Shop for art at a harmonic convergence with singer-songwriter Katherine Q u i n n . Burlington City Hall Park, 12:30-2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0123. ' S U M M E R F E S T ' : Five regional folk artists play for the people in Battery Park, Burlington, noon - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 864-5888.

yoga

Microbrew Pints•1

M O Z A R T FESTIVAL: Daniel Epstein plays works by Mozart, Beethoven and Chopin at the U V M Recital Hall, Burlington, 8 p.m. $18. Info, 800-6399097. B A N D C O N C E R T : The Waterbury C o m m u n i t y Band plays at Rusty Parker Park, Waterbury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 244-6352. MUSICAL TUESDAYS: Traditional Irish music from Boston is on tap today. Montpelier City Hall, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 229-0492.

©monday music

LIST yOUR CLASS: Fellow the format, including a to to 20 word descriptive sentence. Mail or walk it in, with $5 tor one week or $15 tor a month, by the Thursday before publication. Free classes are listed without charge.

ZD (SD

etc

BASEBALL GAME: See July 7, 7 p.m. T h e Expos take on Williamsport. BUSINESS BREAKFAST: See July 8. 'CONSERVING T H E WORKING LANDSCAPE': A land trust conference looks'at the crisis of "fragmentation." Room 216, Living-Learning Complex, U V M , Burlington, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. $50. Info, 656-4055.

G E R M A N CLUB G A T H E R I N G : German speakers swim, row and sail at a summer meeting. Coates Island, Mallets Bay, Colchester, 2 p.m. A potluck supper begins at 6 p.m. Free. Reservations, 6582226. CAMELS H U M P HIKE: This six-mile hike includes steep sections. Meet in * Montpelier, 8:30 a.m. Free. Register, 223-3935.

YOGA: Daily, Burlington Yoga Studio, 174 Main St. Info, 6 5 8 - Y O G A Classes are offered in Iyengar, Kripalu, Bikram and Kundalini styles. Beginners can start anytime.

kids

' P O U N D T H E MYSTERY BEAT': How is evidence collected to solve crimes? T h e Burlington Police Department explains to kids aged six to 12. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 1:30-2:30 p.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. V I D E O S : Peach Boy and The Boy Who Drew Cats are screened at the S. Burlington Library, 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-9010. STORY T I M E S : Children 18 months to three years old listen at 10:30 a.m., those three to five at 9:30 a.m., and kids over four get a chance at 3:30 p.m."S. Burlington Library. Free. Info, 658-9010.

theater

scale. Register, 865-HERB. Learn to use herbs for muscle, joint and nerve problems, and to get rid of pests. Make an oil

•

A U D I T I O N S : T h e Stowe Theatre Guild is seeking eight men and seven women for an August production of Hot L Baltimore. Bring your talents to the Golden Eagle Motel, Stowe, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 253-3961.

page 19

' M U S I C IN T H E M E A D O W ' : Billed as the "heir apparent to Ella Fitzgerald," Diane Schuur peforms in the Trapp Family Concert Meadow, Stowe, 7 p.m. Picnic starting at 5 p.m. $18. Info, 86-FLYNN.

S T I M U L A N T S & SEDATIVES:

. . $150 I

from

theater

O P E N REHEARSAL: See July 8.

'OLEANNA': See July 3. ' M U R D E R O N T H E NILE': Agatha Christie's whodunit features newly weds

t h e a t e r ' H E N R Y V': See July 5, $10.

Free Cup of Chowder with Lunch Entree All Frozen Drinks $3.00

1 •s

F. T

L i i - i - L O

ESCUELA LATINA

(Santa

W ^Slara

SPANISH SCHOOL

Classes • Private Tutoring •Translation • ESL 1 3 6 C h u r c h S t r e e t , B u r l i n g t o n . For i n f o call, 6 6 5 - 3 0 4 7

?fy)/amca

t ^ 2nd Annual

Pondstock

) Live Music seven days a week. Never a cover

• SAM BUCK CHURCH AT TWIN P O N D S C A M P S I T E DROWNING MAN FULLER ROAD, PERU, N.Y., K-N1NE F R I D A Y 6:sop-*A JULY

5TH, 6TH

& 7TH

YOUNG COUNT?.? Blue Foxfirthe Rockin Daddy's — S t o w e Performing Arts presents .w "The Best of the Best" for our 2 0 & Birthday

'Music in the Meadow" 1996 at the Trapp Family Lodge Concert Meadow Stowe, Vermont

S u n d a y , J u l y 7 a t 7 : 3 0 pm The Union Bank presents

The Vermont Symphony Orchestra Celebrating the 100^ Birthday of John Philip S o u s a ' s "Stars and Stripes Forever" with spectacular fireworks sponsored by Maxwell's at Topnotch Co presented by:

W D E V A M & F M Radio Vermont and Willie Racine's Jeep/Eagle/lsuzu

Sunday. July 14 at 7:00 p m Springer-Miller Systems presents

Diane Schuur

The Jazz voice and style of this heir apparent to Ella Fitzgerald and Sarah Vaughn "wowed" the 1994 Meadow audience. TICKETS: $18, $5 under 18, Call 802-86-FLYNN. No Refunds. In case of rain, concert will be held in the Jackson Arena, Stowe village. Listen to WDEV (550 AM, 96.1 FM) or W V M X (101.7) at 5 pm for confirmation of location. Accessible to all please call ahead (253-7792) or ask at the gate. Purchase picnic goodies at No. VT Cooks & Chefs Assoc. booth on site. Meadow opens (or picnics at 5 pm.

July

10, 1 9 9 6

PERFect ThYR..olD SATURDAYIP-IA

Smokin'

Grass

THE BAILEY BROTHERS

OMINOUS SEAPODS

LAMBSBREAD SUNDAY12N-?

Open Mic Must be 18 or older to camp or accompanied by an adult. FAMILIES WELCOME! rock • country * blues • ska alternative • reggae • bluegrass 3 D a y Ticket

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

No camping

No tamping

s no 5 20 8

indudts camping

No (ampin

| FREE SHUTTLE FROhf THE PORT KENT FERRY

signs 1-87 to exit 35-follow Tickets avail able at the gate information fall for mare

518 643-9305 98.9WOKO ^TUtV&HUOUt!

SEVEN

DAYS

1 1 V '3 Wed, July

CHIN HO! J USLAYT 6 PEZ F \ m ,&LL$ A5 C E S

BE THAT WAV

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7/8

I BURNING SPEAR I $20 U P S I D E E> O W N F R O W N SOIVIAH

I N V I S I B L E |ET MACHINERY HALL

IflUR

ThurSat, July 4-6

The X R a y s Sunday, J u l y 7

THU JULY 1 1 $3 21 + $5 18-20

7/12 $4 21+ dysffunkshun $6 18-20

u m NICKEL m

Abair Bros.

R u s s & Co.

1 I I

SAT JULY'13 $3 21 + $5 18-20

W E N

VIPER HOUSE 1 CONEHEAD BUDDHA1 FRI I SIPEDDRAG 7/19 I NADASURP 5 ITHE GRAVEL PIT ALL$AGES I GRAVITY'S PULL

AIJGLSTA BROWN J USLAY T 2 0 $3 21 + CYCOIflOTOGOAT $5 1 8 - 2 0 SUN 21 I SMOKIN 1 GRASS JULY $3 21 + I ZUBA '$5 18-20 MON MADBALL 7 ROCKETSLED a* J E S U S N U T ALL AGE5

Mon S-Tues, J u l y 8 / 9

Smokehouse WedS-Thur, July lO/ll

Great Red Shark Frf

frSat,

J u l y 12/13

Martin Guitjui Sunday, J u l y 14

R u s s & Co. Monday J u l y 15

W i l b u r ' s Dog 6 5 8 4771 page

WARNING

Lake Champlain Maritime M u s e u m ^ at B a s i n H a r b o r

3 t h Annual Lake Champlain Small Boat Show July 6th & 7th

Bv Paula

The " H u m p p a c k " is not for the faint of heart. ( It's guaranteed to get your blood pumping )

night in Burlington. His call sent a sleepy boat crew out on the lake in search of floating boat parts, life preservers, clothing —-anything that might indicate whether the

m Mj Ml

\fermont Vagabond

Call us toll free at:

1.888.VTPPACKS

for a free color catalog of our other... BAGS FOR Y O U R STUFF

s celebrate the 50th liversary of the U.S. rachute Association with us

Canoe & Kayak Instruction

• Flat to Whitewater • Kayak Rolling • Instructor Training Course

Team Building

Canoe & Kayak rental outposts at • Lake Champlain - Apple Tree Bay Resort, South Hero • Lake Waterbury - Waterbury Day Use Area

Children's Adventure Courses

the state

• Kid's Kayak & Canoe Programs • Orienteering (Maps & Compass) • New Games

Visit our Store at 849 South Ham Street, Lower Village, Stowe

For Availability & Reservations call 802-253-2317

S A ^ Y O U

A special day of V S A is t h e o n l y

S A

search, Petty Officer Duane

pyrotechnics. "It's been a quiet summer so far," he says — not counting the power boat that cut out on Juniper Island in April, or the canoe that capsized last week, leaving one skinny guy seriously hypothermic with a body

fUJJuJiiM Crknnl in JKyUIVIIH} AI1WI lit

information about the sport of skydiving

P a c k a p k n i c lunch & s p e n d the d a y

11 am- 7 pm

temperature of 88 degrees. For most recreationists, the boating season starts with a bang, on the Fourth of July weekend. The Coast Guard is there to

Have fun & learn!

assure your "three-hour tour"

Worldwide "Sunset SkydiveM at

^ j n V I

a long night coordinating the

et's red glare was premature

July 6th

• Hiking & Orienteering • Canoe & Kayak Tours • Rope Adventure Programs

flash was a distress signal. After

Lounsbury concluded the rock-

Summer Programs:

Outfitters

like an emergency flare to

ted it fishing last Wednesday

Vermont's Adventure Center

Outboou

over the water looks a lot

to the off-duty cop who spot-

AjjA IMMA

General Admission will be charged. Hours - 10am M l m , to 5pm Sat & Sun. Directions - Route 7 to 22A at M l ML Vergennes. Follow signs to Basin Harbor. M I M A

UMIAK

cheap firework launched

the U.S. Coast Guard — and

Join us for o special weekend featuring regional boat builders and their handcrafted boats. €njoy scenic lake cruises, on-uuater boat trials, paddle making workshops, hands-on demonstrations, special activities for children, J music and g o o d food. A Shuttle round trip from UUestport Marina aboard the excursion boat Seal. 1 0 - 4 ($6 00 pp).

Routlv

does not wind up a television

ENTER A RAFFLE TO WIN A TANDEM PARACHUTE JUMP!

series — or worse. Once you master the moor-

Just off Rte. 17, W. Addison, VT Near the Reed Barn 802-SKYDIVE for more information

ing fees and right of way rules, boating offers a lot more freedom than driving a car. The

CLEARWATER

vessel has got to be registered,

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No probable cause is needed to bust a boat for an outdated fire while intoxicated. It's hard to believe these gun-toting sailors work for the Department of Transportation — jurisdiction shifts to the navy in times of

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page

SEVEN DAYS

July

& 10,

1996

total confiscation.

police boats, regular reservists

Good thing their biggest

and "very cooperative" lakeside

swam tor it

beef is life preservers. Vermont

law enforcement agencies. But

The Guard

boaters are required by law to

the Coast Guard can't keep

spotted

have buoyant, well-fitting ones

people from going out on the

their wet

for everyone on board. Equally

water, even if they insist on

clothes

obligatory are functioning

making boating bloopers. Some

in the

fire extinguishers, flares

are topographically

and some sort of fog-cutting noisefr

maker. Night-

going vessels have to have running lights. Radios are highly recommended, particularly for the weather updates. These lenged — a lot

precautions are especially

of boats washed up on

important given the rescue

Colchester Shoale last year.

response time. "Without a radio or flares, all you can do is wait," Lounsbury says. Treading this water, he says, a boater can survive for "30 minutes, tops."

Others venture out on the water without knowing bilge p

from bulge.

Canoeing presents it /

own unique challenges.

Lifeguarding a 112-mile

Paddlers should never

nic — despite help

judge the chop by the waves *

/ island, and found

father and son capsized their

them huddled together,

for regular Monday night / races — for men, women, / teens and kids. Serious and socia J cyclists are welcome. Every Saturday, Catamount AT TOE DIVE-IN: It's a . ; Family Center, WiUiston, 1< double feature on Drop Zone a.m. $10. Info, 879-6001. s D a y ' — you get to party and ^ * -.• •watch someone else jump out / O ^ / l of a plane. It's the 50th • J g t g g R O C K ONtGa-ga for geolo anniversary of the U.S. gy? Then join up for this lee Parachute Association, and , ture-walk about the Vermont Skydiving Champlain Basin and the oi Adventures opens 'em for you gin of the rocks lining its shores. Extra bonus: a bit — plus shows off stunts by some of the best divers about birds — but not bees, around. Fun, refreshments sorry — from naturalist and give-aways for the whole Walter Poleman. Addison Airstrip, Rt. 17, 9 a.m, p l H J ^ t e ® , 802*

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habit of falling through the ice.

Grand Isle wasn't so lucky.

"We had a lot of vehicles going

Officers found him too late,

through this year," Lounsbury

still floating in his life jacket.

says, "but no deaths or injuries

The Coast Guard calls miss-

since I've been here."

ing boaters "overdues" and fre-

Despite the long cold win-

quently field calls from frantic

ter — and Gumby suit rescues

spouses. This spring a fellow

— Burlington is immensely

went out night fishing in rough

popular among Coast Guard

waters and failed to call his wife

workers, for its "laid-back

when he bailed out. "We found

atmosphere" — especially in

him at the Old Valcour Lodge

the winter — and diversity of

having dinner and drinks,"

duties. Where else can you be

Lounsbury says, offering a

involved in international drug

marine moral: "Always tell

busts and policing poachers of

someone where you are going,"

underwater archaelogy?

he says, "and if you are going to

"Burlington is one of the most

be late, please call."

sought-after stations in the

Naturally, the most com-

country," Lounsbury says. "Here and Lake Tahoe." •

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1996 :

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••••

. V - . . ..

2 3

SEAT 23A Continued

from

page

pushed across the laps of three old ladies. Gill doesn't know why, but he turns and follows as the guy rushes toward the back of the plane. At the end of the plane the guy turns and faces Gill and starts flailing his arms and howling. Gill reaches out and, with one well-timed thrust, grabs the man's hand, which instantly quiets him again. The pilot is behind Gill now and whispers, "This time, don't let go of his damn hand." "Where's our free drinks?" yells a passenger. Gill lays his left hand over their clasped hands. Harold Pick adds from behind, "Don't let go of his hand." The man raises his eyes to Gary Gill and says, "It was my job to pick up the pieces and bag them with a code referenced to the crash grid..." Gill turns his head around to look back up the plane. Most of the passengers are standing and straining to hear, and it is quiet enough to hear a pin drop, until one passenger yells again, "Where's our free drinks?" "The smell made me sick," continues the shaved-headed guy, "Even with the lime spread the flesh was cooking in the heat of the bayou. I found eyeballs...they pop out of the head on impact a lot. I'd hold the eyeballs in my hand standing up to my waist in the swamp, and it was like they were saying to me, why? why?

Americans." "What does that have to do with the plane that crashed?" says the shaved-headed guy. The pilot says, "I thought you understood. Mr. Pick here owns the airline that had the recent plane crash, too." A passenger up the plane says loudly, as if making a speech, "Now, you leave Mr. Harold Pick alone. He's a good businessman. He employs my wife, and she says he runs a damn fine company. He even

But the plane just fell, they say there is no reason..." "There is a reason that Louisiana flight crashed," says the pilot. "Who are you?" says the guy"The pilot looks down at his gold epaulets and says, "I'm the former pilot of this plane." "Former?" "I was fired a little while »

ago. "Who fired you?" The pilot nods his head

toward Mr. Harold Pick."This man fired me, so he could hire some young pilot at a quarter of my salary and a tenth of my experience, some guy willing to keep his mouth shut when he sees the shit they're pulling for profit. And Mr. Pick here is not just cutting out the old experienced pilots, but cutting back on plane maintenance and pilot training. And he's keeping old planes like this 30-year-old junker in the air long after they used to sell them to the South

picks up the deductible on our health care." 0

"He picks up the deductible?" yells a passenger. The plane erupts at this news, and Gill feels the shavedheaded guy's hand in his screw tighter. The guy looks at Gill and, as sweat drips from his forehead, says faintly, "Health insurance?" Gary Gill smells something. He looks down and sees the guy has a growing Floridashaped splotch on his pants.

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"You have to do something," repeats Gary Gill. He is still holding the hand of the dead man. "Hey, friend, I'm actually a pediatric endocrinologist," says Dr. Kaiser. "I'm not in emerHe turns to

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"It is too bad," agrees Dr. Baker. "With the pocket mask, without question I would have immediately administered CPR; there would not have been any oral contact." "You have to do something," says Gary Gill from the floor. "The thing is," muses Dr. Kaiser to Dr. Baker. "It might have been AIDS-related psychosis. We all saw him running crazily around the plane." "He was not crazy," says Gary Gill. "You heard what fucked up the guy's head." "You have to make an instantaneous risk/benefit analysis," says Dr. Baker. "Is he dead?" says Harold Pick to the doctors. Dr. Kaiser and Dr. Baker bend down and feel the carotid on either side of the man's massive neck. "Yes, I'm afraid so, "says Dr. Kaiser. "I'd put my money on a massive myocardial infarction." Dr. Baker says quickly, "Yes, he's decidedly dead," and adds, "And I'd second that diagnosis. A massive myocardial infarction."

A bald man pushes through the clot of passengers, followed by an extremely tall woman. They introduce themselves as Dr. Kaiser and Dr. Baker and r shake hands with the pilot and

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Behind him Harold Pick is calmly fielding questions from the passengers about his airline company's insurance policy. The guy's hands loosen and slip out of Gill's. He whispers" health insurance" one more time, and his knees buckle as he grabs his chest and falls backwards. Gary Gill falls to his knees in front of the man and puts his ear against the man's lips. "He's not breathing," he says to the others crowding over him. "I don't know CPR." A flight attendant looks out of the kitchen and screams, "Somebody get the oxygen and the pocket mask!" Harold Pick glances at the man on the carpet and yells, "Is there a doctor on the plane?" "Where the hell is the oxygen?" says a flight attendant, shoving things around in an overhead compartment. Another flight attendant fishes deeper in the compartment, throws out packages of peanuts and yells, "There's no pocket mask, either!" The first flight attendant waves what looks like a plastic bag and says, "I found the ambu bag!"

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sued for that." should talk wrongful discharge. A silver-haired man in a I'm visualizing some adequate dark pin-stripe suit pushes compensation." through the crowd in the aisle Gary Gj^l looks back at the as a few passengers far up the dead man, whose wide-open plane chant, "Free drinks! Free eyes look at him as if to say, drinks!" "Do you understand these peoThe suited man smoothly ple?" takes the hand of Dr. Baker and says, "I'm an attorney. You said something about the plane not having oxygen or something called a pocket mask?" Gary Gill looks A flight attendant, waving his hand to get the lawyer's attention, says, "The whole back at the dead first-aid kit is missing, too." The lawyer swivels neatly on his heels and says, "But normariy whose widemally the plane would have been equipped with this pocket mask? Ditto for the oxygen open eyes look at tank and the missing first-aid kit?" The flight attendant nods at him as if to sayy the lawyer, who nods back and says loudly, "Do we have nextof-kin?" 'Do you understand Everyone looks blankly at each other. The lawyer points to Gary Gill and says, "You these people?" there. Are you next of kin? He was holding your hand, wasn't he? Is he your partner or something?" The lawyer bends over and whispers to Gary Gill, slipping The lawyer's polished shoe a card in his pocket, "We re is grinding the dead man's finlooking at a multi-million dolgers into the carpet. Gary Gill lar negligence suit here. I'm stares at the shoe, then jumps talking double-digit millions." up with a shout and tries to He winks and adds, "Call me, x barrel through the knot of pasthere will be something In it sengers. They push back, and for everyone." someone hits him hard in the The lawyer stands up and " back of the head with a bag. hands a Card to the pilot. "Call He is stopped in his tracks. An me," he says. "I think we acne-pitted guy in a blazer next

THE WEST Continued

jrom

page

destroyers of the wide-open spirit of the plains. You learn a lot about the American West by reading Tie My Bones to Her Back. Great gobs of fact come hurtling at you like charging quadrupeds. No gun is fired whose caliber, ammunition and decoration is not lovingly described, and the many other Things of the Great West are examined in detail. But amid all this fact, fiction suffers, and ultimately the characters in this novel are given short shrift. Jones seems to hold back from probing Jenny and Otto on the central change in their lives — why they become killers of their own people, and a stance that started out laconic plays out as hollowness. He never gets under their skin; and even in a novel that contains as much scalping and flaying as this one, that's where you yearn to be. You finish this story feeling like you've encountered the dry, sunbleached skeleton of one of the slaughtered buffalo: hints of greatness abound, but the magnificent beast is elsewhere. •

to him is smoking a stogie, mouthing out circles of smoke. A woman with a voice like a howler monkey is agonizing about her constitutional right to a smoke-free environment. A man with a peroxide toupee is vehement about his health insurance plan's flaws and a woman in a rhinestone dress is spitting about welfare queens and her long-distance carrier. Other passengers are nodding in unison about kicking the bastards out of Washington. Gary Gill stands in the aisle and looks down in amazement at his hand that had quieted the shaved-headed man. He listens to the passengers around him and a howl emerges from his lips as if it had been lying in wait for years. The passengers stare at Gill as he screams in the aisle of the plane. At first, it is a deeply satisfying scream. But suddenly, Gill has the weird notion that his display of horror is only feeding them all. His scream slowly peters out into a whimper, and the passengers turn away. Gill plops into the empty seat at his side. Hanging his head, he gropes for the box of Camel in his shirt pocket. He shakes out a cigarette, stares at it blankly, then sighs and places it neatly back in the box as he hears a voice in his head say, "Federal regulations now prohibit smoking on all domestic flights." •

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Tom Paine is an award-winning writer based in Charlotte.

rugged writers — the ones who can reconcile word processing Robert Jones served in the with a waiting Winchester. navy, covered the Vietnam War Howard Frank Mosher takes him for Time magazine and hunted fishing. Pulitzer Prize-winning big game in East Africa before he Annie Proulx, who exhibits*the gave up journalism for the writsame love of "arcane detailed ing life. But it was a close call in knowledge" and the Great suburban New York that conAmerican West, set him up in vinced the Wisconsin-born Wyoming. sportsman to pack it up and Oddly enough, Jones was on move to Vermont. safari in East Africa, researching "One day I was coming out a story about poaching for of the woods. My dog had just Audubon magazine, when he put up a grouse," he says. "As I decided to write a book about stepped up to the road, the the slaughter of the American school bus was going by. buffalo. He spent four years Everyone of the kids — except doing research for Tie My Bones mine — pulled down their winto Her Back, which novelist dows and booed and hissed. To Philip Caputo described as "the them, I was a mean, nasty, dark side of our national Bambi-killing murderer." myth...a historical novel and a Jones moved to West Rupert warning." Mosher calls it the to get away from that "kneejerk "best literary action novel since anti-hunting sentiment," to a Lonesome Dove." house on 35 acres that affords Comparisons to Jack him backyard access to the wild, London, Cormac McCarthy and wild East. He already had Blood Larry McMurtry are inevitable. Sport under his belt — the first So is a movie adaptation, of three novels with "blood" in although Jones warns, "you don't the title — and produced a slew dare count those eggs in a basket, of woodsy fiction and nonfiction or even cracked into a bowl." Of works, including The Fishing course, Hollywood might be put Doctor and Jake: A Labrador off by the smell of rotting buffaPuppy at Work and Play. His first los. With or without Kevin collection of bird hunting essays Costner, this story documents is due out this fall from Lyons "one of the greatest ecological and Burford. tragedies of the 19th century." Not surprisingly, Jones is Spoken like a real hunter. fast friends with Vermont's more — Paula Routly

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o p e n i n g s NINE VERMONT SCULPTORS, Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 860-4792. Reception July 5, 6-8 p.m. FOUR SEASONS, watercolors by Deborah Holmes. Vermont State Craft Center at Frog Hollow, Middlebury, 388-3177. Reception July 5, 5-7 p.m. SEASONS OF CHANGE: 50 Years with Vermont Life, photographs from 1946-96. Vermont State House, Montpelier, 828-3241. Reception/panel discussion on Vermont's future, with Governor Dean, July 8, 10 a.m. RAKU POTTERY by six nationally known clay artists. Vermont Clay Studio, Montpelier, 223-4220. Reception July 12, 4:30-6:30 p.m. PAINT: THREE STORIES, featuring the work of Wosene Kosrof, Ellen Langtree and Hal Mayforth. Wood Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 8788743. Reception July 12, 5-7 p.m. SELF-ENCLOSED, an installation-based exhibit by Wendy Copp, Joan Curtis, Jennifer X-eme Koch, Laura Seftel and Christian Wideawake. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Reception July 12, 5-7 p.m. ART IN T H E PARK, exhibit and sale of paintings, photographs and sculpture. Rusty Parker Memorial Park, Waterbury, 244-6648. July 13, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.

ongoing

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE:

Vermont is a brighter place as interpreted by Lincoln artist Cynthia Price. Her vivid paintings, pastels and prints are exhibited this month at the Clarke Gallery in Stowe. Above, "Ride (Addison). "

LANDSCAPES: REAL IMAGINED, paintings, pastels and prints by Cynthia Price. Clarke Gallery, Stowe, 253-7116. Through July 19. REGIONAL SELECTIONS 1996, biennial juried show of New England featuring four Vermont artists: Louise Glass, John Hughes, Mia Scheffey and Dean Snyder. Hood Museum, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH, 603-6462808. Through September 1. DECORATIVE PAINTINGS by Hanna Hauser; also paintings and pastels by Marion Wickstron and paintings by Robert Sticker. Daily Planet, Burlington, 862-9647. Through July. VERMONT GLASS, featuring 10 glassblowers from around the state. Frog Hollow, Burlington, 8636458. Through July 28. MEMORIES OF CHINA, photographs by John and Mary Gemignani. Also, BIRDS, by Elizabeth Mead. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3441. Through July. NOBLE BARNS, watercolors of Vermont bams, farms and fields by Katharine Montstream. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through July 18. VOYAGES AND VISIONS: 19th-century European Images of the Middle East from the Victoria and Albert Museum. Middlebury College Museum of Art, Middlebury, 388-9029. July 5-August 18. PAW PRINTS, Toms Cat and Other Creatures, linoblock and woodblock prints by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563ELECTRONICA MONSTRUM, a multimedia installation and performance by Steve Tremblay. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Jager DiPaola Kemp Design, Burlington, 864-8040. Through July 26. Performances Wednesdays and Fridays, 8 p.m. PAINTINGS by Robert Waldo Brunelle Jr. Williston Coffee House, 899-1106. Through July 8. NEW PAINTINGS by Elizabeth Mead. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 862-1936. Through July 15. T H E WEEPING CHERUB, 25-year retrospective of architectural plasterworks by Michael and Loy Kempster. Upstairs Gallery, Essex, NY, (518) 963-7551 • Through July 15. IN T H E OIL PAINT, paintings by Zoe Bishop. Food For Thought, Stowe, 2534733, Through July. PHOTOGRAPHS by Ed Pepe. French Press Cafe, Johnson, 635-2638. Through July. O U T D O O R SCULPTURE, part of Arts Alive. S.T. Griswold Co., Williston, 8641557. Through August 30. GATHERING LIGHT, paintings and drawings by Kathleen Kolb. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through July 11. SILK STOCKING MATS: HOOKED RUGS FROM T H E GRENFELL MISSION, featuring mats and household accesSAVING THE FAMILY FARM Prolific Burlington watercolsories produced by the fishing families of orist Katharine Montstream turns her deft hand to Newfoundland and Labrador. Shelburne preserving — at least on paper — a fading Vermont Museum, Shelburne, 985-3346. Through icon, the barn. Through July 18 at Shelburne's PAINTINGS by Alfred DeCredico. Julian Scott Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery. Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 6351469. Through July 27. FLORAL IMPRESSIONS, photographic interpretations of flowers and gardens by Danny Taran. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through July 21. NIEVES BILLMYER: A RETROSPECTIVE, drawings and paintings by a world-renowned abstract expressionist. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through August 25. ART'S ALIVE: O U T D O O R SCULPTURE by Lars-Erik Fisk, James Florschutz, Charlotte Hastings and John Houskeeper. On the lawn of the Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, Burlington, 6560750. Through August 18.

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where old-fashioned an old variety, but it won't flowers like hollyhocks, be recognized as such." ven a die-hard cynic can suf- foxgloves, midsummer ISIIP^ Gradually, Kane propawhite phlox, queen-of-the fer a few fluttery romantic gated heirloom plants to sell to prairie, soapwort, block snakeamateur gardeners and historic feelings at Perennial root and daylilies dominate the preservationists who want to Pleasures, a sumptuous comcottage-style perennial beds. reproduce authentic gardens mercial nursery spreading out Rachel Kane started around older buildings. behind The Brick House bedPerennial Pleasures Nursery in "People restore their 17th-, and-breakfast in East 1980, a year before she graduat- 18th- or 19th-century homes, Hardwick. If the beauty of the ed from the University of and often they want to restore place is disorienting, at first Vermont with a degree in art their gardens as well," she says. glance the grounds appear ordihistory and horticulture. One Through her research, Kane nary. No ostentatious flower of her professors told her she'd acquired an encyclopedic beds line the front of the never make a living by selling knowledge of old plants, flower Federal-style brick house. The perennials. Armed with that lore and history. For instance, plant sales area around back is encouragement, Kane built a 17th-century gardens were simadjacent to a parking lot, and a small greenhouse and planted ple and pragmatic; culinary and Vermont-classic row of sugar medicinal herbs maples extends like roman beyond the barn. chamomile, hops When you _ V. ,j> and feverfew were arrive, gardene*grown with dye Rachel Kane — or plants and ornaher mother Judith, mentals such as also a gardener and dyer's wo ad and the laid-back promonkshood. prietor of the B&B The native — may emerge plant beebalm from the house and appeared in 18th.. v.,A t*welcome you to century American poke around. As gardens. "I read you wander through that after the the grounds haphazt* - §t ! * ; Boston Tea Party," ardly, it becomes Kane explains, "a clear that these garlot of colonists dens, set behind turned to beebalm hedges and fences, ; . < v a* to get their fix." are intimate rooms Victorian-era in themselves, full ' 'J i t - ^ ' i l gardens were more of drama. t( i i J : eclectic and ornaYou'd have to be '-r JU i f i mental, introduca pretty tough cus1 7 ' 1 fy f ; % >5\ -i > . t: ing all sorts of bedik $ ' • V / ' tomer not to be V • ••« r r / j >/-\ . 5 h; ding plants. Castor moved by some of r f i' . / ' i . v. • •• * *« / V. /, \ ; bean, cup-andthese breathtakingly S ^ r i ' ^ v .// . VV p / / •V # . 'i vine and saucer simple spaces, such i . J ' V } Y* >: tl . • i = • / r^ nicotiana alata were > -4; j r f as a gazebo, encrust. J? . , . \ W ,li lM popular. "The taste ed with honeysuckle V in plants ran to the vine, in the middle HEBE-HO: An appropriate guardian of the garden exotic, bold and of the two acres of excessive — the gardens. The nearby lawn is six packets of seeds. Her weedmore variegated, double and lined with poplars and arrowless, lovingly tended nursery tender, the better," writes Kane wood. Two 32-foot rows of now offers over 1000 varieties in her Perennial Pleasures catablue Siberian irises frame a path of new and old plants. logue. to a statue of Hebe, who leans From the beginning, Kane's Many "wild" roadside casually over a reflecting pool mission has been to resurrect plants, like soapwort, mullein, filled with tadpoles. old plant varieties that have purple loosestrife and mallows, An enormous herb garden are really European imports. — Judith Kane's turf — spreads been lost or long forgotten. She studied Ann Leighton's "Even orange daylilies were out beyond the cedar hedge. American Gardens series, old introduced," Kane says. "They Through it, a flagstone path seed catalogues, out-of-print never set seed because they're a winds through stands of angeligardening books, anything she sterile clone of the species. We ca, apple mint, sweet cicely, could lay her hands on, eventupresume they've been spread lungwort and artemisias, along ally putting together this amazcoast to coast by snowplow." with more exotic medicinal and ing puzzle of gardens that Stick around long enough culinary plants. and you'll find Kane's conversaIn these gardens, you're like- resemble pages out of history. But just discovering what tion sprinkled with horticulturly to see little girls dressed in plants had been used by early al history tidbits — like the white eyelet running around trying to catch frogs. And you'll American gardens turned out to story about a German botanist be the easy part; finding sources named Dr. Toms, who gave a see them get especially excited for old, long-neglected plants dinner party consisting largely at tea time. The idea of tea and was another. of European lupines to impress scones with cream and jam in "I'm still working on lists of his friends. They ate roasted the garden is enough to send things that sound interesting," lupine beefsteak and lupine most anyone to the attic in Kane says. "It's a matter of soup, drank lupine wine and search of vintage clothing. knowing what to look for. And no wonder. Time seems Sometimes a company will have to take a rest in the tea garden, Continued on page 28

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FLOWER POWER

coffee. Even the table linens and thank-you notes were made from lupines. But, Kane cautions, don't try this at home; native lupine seeds are poisonous. If historic gardening sounds specialized and esoteric, well...it can be. But while some serious garden preservationists refer to Kane's nursery catalog as "the Bible," most retail customers simply buy plants they like, totally oblivious to their historical significance. T h e fact is, a lot of the old standbys have been used for centuries. Straw foxglove, common hollyhock, alkanet and chamomile, for instance, have been cultivated since at least the 1600s. T h e diversity of hardy perennials herbs and flowers is staggering, even in Vermont's frigid climate. In fact, cool nights and warm days, Kane believes, make for "prime territory." T h e best thing about perennials is, they keep coming back. •

aunts. In fact, flower gardening is so hip, even thirtysomething :/; i |§}1;: |

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Perennial Pleasures Nursery is located off Rt. 16 in the village ofE. Hardwick, open Tuesday through Sunday, 9 a.m.-5p.m., May 1 through September 15. English cream tea is served daily. For reservations, call 472-5512.

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1996

CLOSET Continued

from

page

So in about 15 minutes I was headed straight for New York in the cabin of a Coast Guard rescue boat, the wind on my bandage. Balfoort turned into a Coast Guard pilot machine, checking dials and making observations. If I asked him a question, he'd answer, but it was like he didn't really want my company. So I looked out the window. It was a great ride, even in silence. Those cutters are God's own motorboats, even I could see that. At one point, I turned to him. I liked the fact that we

our parting conversation as easy as possible for him. He'd been damn nice, after all. "What's that, like 30 feet long?" "That's a 41-footer," he corrected. He scuffed at the dock with his boot. Then he picked up a rock and pitched it at the water. "You like boats?" "Love 'em," I said, which is true enough. I can't swim or sail, but I've always thought boats were righteous. He gave me a funny look, or rather, a normal look with a funny one hiding behind it. "You ever been on a Coast Guard cutter?" I shook my head, then said, "Well, actually, just that time off the coast of Baja. We got run down with a boatload of opium. But just that once." He didn't smile. Maybe they don't like to joke about contraband. "Well, I gotta make a patrol sweep," he pointed south, "as far as the bottom of Shelburne Bay there, then back up this way out as far as Grand Isle." He gave me the funny look again, but this time it was almost like he was daring me. "You feel like coming, I'll get a life jacket on you, and we'll take a ride. Anybody asks, I'll tell 'em you're showing me where your boat ran onto rocks so I can tag the area." I thought about it. He squinted at me. "Okay," I said. "Okay, then."

I walked toward him, and he had his back to mey and I could see when I got closer that he was holding himself rigidly. I had a flash of warning, the kind of caution that runs through your body without thinking. It had to do with the fire and his uniform and the dark, all shot through with the realization that I couldn't swim. were almost exactly the same height. That simply never happens to me. All of a sudden I felt like a person, instead of a very tall person. Balfoort's face had a greenish tint from the electronic displays in front of us. "So what's the J stand for?" I asked. "Jefferson," he said. He gave a small grin. "Like Thomas Jefferson."

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"No, sir. Like Jefferson Davis." He went back to sighting some point of land out his window. Then he turned back. "You know who that was, son?" "Sure," I said. "I had my history, even if it was Yankee history." "Well, all right." "No offense," I said. "None taken." I went back to looking out the window. It's funny, for the five years I'd lived in Burlington, I'd never been out on the lake, except walking on it when it was frozen. I'd never

1 9 9 6 p m

been in a boat, never looked back at the city like looking back at Earth from space. But that's exactly what it was like. Just a small, neat body of lights. I could trace streets if I tried — Pearl Street running straight up to the college like a glowing spine. While we slapped over the water, I watched the lights, and out of nowhere I felt this surge

of tenderness for my town, and I was sorry I had cursed it, sorry I'd sworn to leave it. Because it looked blameless from the water, absolutely and perfectly human-sized, in fact smaller and finer than human. It was a miniature. We'd started back up from Shelburne and were just passing Juniper Island on our way out north when Balfoort killed the • engine. He fiddled around putting his log book in a little compartment. "Come out on deck, man," he said and turned without looking at me. I followed him out onto the small rear deck behind the cabin. The boat was rocking slightly, and it was very dark f out there. I walked toward him, and he had his back to me, and I could see when I got closer that he was holding himself rigidly. I had a flash of warning, the kind of caution that runs through your body without thinking. It had to do with the fire and his uniform and the dark, all shot through with the realization that I couldn't swim. Balfoort turned around and looked at me, his face set and serious. It was one of those country-boy faces — freckled skin, small bright eyes and overlarge nose and teeth — that you associate with both star centerfielders and ax murderers. He put his hand out toward me. I looked at it for a second. He looked down at it, too, then back up at me. I could see he was willing to be laughed at.

The Dating

That was the rigidness. I took his hand. With him half drawing me, and me half walking forward, I came up to him and he turned his face slightly and we kissed. That's more or less where the story ends. We stayed out on the boar for another half-hour or so, and once or twice he came to t my apartment, never to spend the night and never to do more than a little furtive kissing and quick fumbling with the lights off. He was one of those people stuck so tightly in the closet it's killing them. Even with no one else around, he was miserable with what he wanted, and he was deathly afraid that his Coast .Guard buddies would find out. m e was more comfortable kissing my cheek than my lips. He was transferred to Juneau, Alaska last April. But he said some things before he left, things I keep close at hand mentally. We had coffee his last day, down at Muddy Waters. He kept apologizing for being hung up, and I kept telling him that was a stupid thing to apologize for. He said that he'd never forget me, or the night on the cutter, that it was something he'd always dreamed of doing. And then he told me — looking out that big picture window onto Main Street as he said it — that I was beautiful, and that's something I don't hear very often. • Philip Baruth teaches English at the University of Vermont.

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CLOSED J U I Y \ % H

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Burlington College Cinema Studies G Film Production presents a 16mm Film Screening of Charlie Chaplin's 1925 classic

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P R O V T presents

Body, Mind

Spirit Workshops

Saturday. July 13. 1996. 8 am - 6 p m Preregister by calling (802) 862-6753. B o d y , Mind & Spirit Expo: July 13. 9 am-6 pm — adm. $5! Call 865-2422. Sheraton Conference Center, Burlington. Vermont

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SEVEN DAYS

astrology July 4-11

BY RUB

m/±NY

ARICS (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): My mother never reads my column. In a way that's sad: She doesn't care about what I love to do. In a way it's liberating: I don't have to worry about saying something that might offend her. I mention this, Aries, because I'd like to challenge you to make a number of moves this week in which the influence of your mother plays absolutely n o pan. That means you declare your independence as much from the mommy you've internalized in your head as much as from the real person. And it means diat you riot only free yourself from the urge to seek her approval; you also break away from the compulsion to rebel against her. TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): It only rook me six months, but I've finally figured out what your guiding symbol for 1996 should not be: a $20,000 diamondstudded Carrier watch. As to what it should be, I'm still not positive, but its something like a scene of you skinny-dipping in Brazil, or attending a hot fudge sundae party in Thailand, or doing a wild and sacred dance on a T V show in Hungary. This year is not, in other words, a favorable time to lust for the kind of power that money and status bring. It's much smarter to cultivate the sovereignty that's conferred by boosting your capacity for bliss, falling in love with change, and making vision quests to exotic sanctuaries. GCM1NI (May 21-June 20): T h e Russian mystic George Gurdjieff believed that the vast majority of us are virtual sleepwalkers most of the time. We're on automatic pilot, barely able to do more than react in the most mechanical way to the events we encounter. Psychology pioneer Sigmund Freud had an equally dark view; It's the natural state of humanity, he thought, to be neurotic; being out of sync with one's surroundings is quite normal. The reason I'm bringing all this up, Gemini, is that I've raTely seen anyone in such a favorable position to prove both men wrong as you are now. CANCCR (Jum: 2I-July 22): If Eskimos could coin 32 words for different kinds of snow and Americans could invent 2 3 terms for "convenience store," surely you can come up with 100 varieties of eros — especially now, when you're practically making love to the smell of the wind and the taste of the sunlight and the sound of the earth turning. It's as if your libido has tripled in intensity and distributed itself evenly throughout your entire body. It's as if you're always on the verge of turning into the beautiful things you're entranced by. LCO (July 23-Aug. 22): I sense rhat you're agitared, anxious. A flustered voice in the primitive part of your brain keeps roaring "Stop the insanity!" You fear you're corkscrewing out of control, being stripped of your ability to sustain your share of the common good. Well, have no fear, my sexy worrywarr. I'm here to reassure you. The fact is, it's not possible for you to go crazy — because you've already gone. That's right. You slithered over the magic threshhold about eight days ago. Since you've obviously survived all this time, you can plainly see it's not so terrible. And if you can drop your irrelevant protests about sacrificing what you've already surrendered, you may come to actually enjoy your fresh, hot state of emptiness. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I'm sticking to the prophecy I made more rhan six months ago: For you Virgos, 1996 will be the Year of the Cornucopia. Knowing your penchant for self-denial, I'm sure you're accusing me now, as you did rhen, of being demonically possessed by optimism. But I refuse to budge. Every time I turn my psychic eye on you, I see stuff like bouquets of tiger lilies, velvet gloves, jars of pristine seashells, fistfuls of sparklers, a cake baked in the shape of a question mark, flasks of holy water, and the key of life accidentally packed inside a Crackerjax box. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Hey, Old Soul, it's time to work on your life story. I don't mean you should write down your exploits. I mean you should pull off a few thrilling adventures that you'll love to regale your grandchildren with years from now. It's the perfect moment for you to incite the epic plot twists you've barely dared to daydream about...to act as if you're the hero or heroine of a fabulous quest that's about to earn its stature as a mythic tale. SCOftPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I figure your life will be guided by one of two aphorisms this week. I'm hoping you choose the second, but you're free to go with whichever sounds most fun. The first adage comes from the fictional character Rambo: "To survive war, you must become war." The second is my own invention: "To survive love, you must become love." (P.S.: In hopes of coaxing you to opt for my favorite, I'd like to throw in a few more words of wisdom, this time from the philosopher Pascal: "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough.") SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): [Editor's note: Some of you like to believe the universe is a Big Soulless Machine (BSM) that runs itself; the notion of "God" may offend you. Recognizing this, we've substituted BSM for God in rhe following advice.] The BSM tests you every day of your life. Its exams are sometimes friendly and fun, sometimes appallingly difficult, but they're always designed to stretch your capacities. Every once in a while — like now — the BSM demands that you improve your skill at penetrating surface appearances. Big hint: The BSM s preferred way to do this is by sending into your life people and events that are either too good to be true or too bad to be true. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Is there anyone in your life who knows how to listen to you in die special way you need to be listened to? If so, invite that person out to two or three free lunches this week. If not, make it your quest to recruit a willing devotee. There's a priceless fragment of lost magic rumbling around in your subconscious mind, and it'll stay lost unless you place yourself in the presence of someone who encourages you to name it. Right now, you don't even realize how much you've forgotten. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Right about now a casual observer might look at you and say you're in dire need of nutritional supplements, a two-hour massage, a visit to a healer, a rejuvenating retreat to your sanctuary, a long talk with the mirror, a personal call from your hero, and a better choice of politicians to vote for. That's all true in a way. What the casual observer wouldn't know, however, is that receiving even one of those remedies would make you ripe for an outbreak of willowy romance. Getting three or more of diose remedies would bring a massive eruption of steamy, squishy love. So what are you waiting for? Treat yourself like a royal child. PISCeS (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): W h o could have ever predicted that one of the finest smells on earth — once used to make perfume — would be ambergris, a gooey substance sperm whales excrete to protect their digestive tracts from the sharp cuttlefish they devour? For that matter, who would ever have believed that you would turn one of the most inelegant facts of your life into a downright asset? You've made good progress on this task during the first six months of 1996. By January 1997, I expect you to have polished off this amazing achievement. • © Copyright1996 J u l y

1 0 ,

1 9 9 6

THE HOYTS CINEMAS

Review

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Conveniently located across f r o m t h e R a m a d a Inn

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. James & The Giant Peach 12:30, 3:15, 7:20, 9:35, Dragonheart 12, 2:45, 6:50, 9:45. Up Close & Personal 3, 9:25. Flipper 11:30, 1:35. The Birdcage 3:35, 6:30, 9:15. The Truth About Cats & Dogs 11:45, 7:05. Evening times Mon-Fri, all times Sat Sun. CINEMA N I N E Shelbu rne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610. Independence Day* 10. 12:15, 12:50, 3:30, 3:50, 6:45, 7, 9:55, 10:10. The Nutty Professor 10:10, 12:10, 2:15, 6:50, 9:45. Phenomenon 11:05, 1:40, 4:25, 7:15, 10. Eraser 10:40, 1:15, 4, 7:15, 10:15. The Hunchback of Notre Dame 10:30. 12:40, 2:45, 5, 7:25, 9:45. The Cable Guy 12, 6:45. The Rock 10:50, 1:30, 4:10, 7:05, 10:05. Mission: Impossible 11, 1:30, 4:15, 7:10, 9:55. Twister 3:50, 9:50. SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road. S. Burlington, 863-4494. Independence Day* 10, 12:50, 3:50, 7, 10:10.

Striptease 11:10, 1:40, 4:25, 7:10, 9:55. Eraser 11:15, 1:50, 4:20, 7, 9:35. The Cable Guy 2, 4:30, 9:20. The Rock 12:30, 3:35, 6:45, 9:30. Twister 11:45, 6:55. Evening shows Mon-Fri. All shows Sat & Sun. unless otherwise indicated. NICKELODEON C I N E M A S College Street Burlington, 863-9515. Cold Comfort Farm* 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 9:50. The Nutty Professor 11:40, 2, 4:45, 7:20, 9:30, Striptease 11:15, 1:50,4:15,6:50. 9:20. Phenomenon 11:05, 1:40, 4:25, 7:10. 10. The Hunchback of Notre Dame 11, 1, 3:15, 5:25, 7:35, 9:40. Mission: Impossible 11:30, 2:15, 4:40, 7, 9:45. THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. July 3-11: Welcome to the Doll House 6:30, 8:30. July 12-25: Stealing Beauty 6:30, 8:50 SUNSET D R I V E - I N Porter's Pt. Rd., Colchester, 862-1800. Hunchback of Notre Dame & Toy Story; Independence Day* & Broken Arrow; Eraser & Twister; Striptease & Cable Guy. Showtimes: dusk (approx. 9).

* STARTS FRIDAY. Times subject to change. Please call theaters to confirm

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A MEDIATION PARTNERSHIP

An opportunity for individuals, couples and small groups to e n / o u t h e s a n c t u a r y or an old Ml farm in V e r m o n t ' s Northeast Kingdom.

Saturday, July 13, 1996 8 a.m. - 6 p.m.

Tune-up, alignment, wheel-balancing, and transmissions: $60

per night: $20/one person $30/two people $10/each, groups of three or more

P r e r e g i s t e r b y calling (802)

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Body, Mind Spirit Expo

Take care of your physical vehicle and align your spirit, with

Saturday, July 13, 9 am-6 pm. Only §5

channeled guidance (transmission), energy healing of the aura (tune-

G r e e n s b o r o Bend. V e r m o n t

802-533-2505

Licensed Acupuncturist Certified Herbologist Quality, Personalized Care

susan f e U m a n f o q I- 8 0 0 - 5 6 4 - 6 8 5 9

Featuring a variety of accomodations.

Body, Mind & Spirit Workshops

Sharon Mcllwaine MA, L.Ac.

Sheraton Conference Center Burlington, Vermont

ups), and chakra-balancing ("chakra" means wheel in Sanskrit). l) Kate Lanxner • Waterfront Holistic Healing Center

802-865-2422

3 Main St • Burlington • 8 6 5 - 2 7 5 6 by appointment. Booth 15 at the Body/ Mind/Spirit Expo July 13. JEAN

Tutorials and Mentoring

TEMPLETON

Healing Art

Learn The Craft Of An Effective Student

A slide l e c t u r e anci w o r k s h o p

Practical, O n e - O n - O n e , Individualized P r o g r a m s • K-12 & College Prep • Average & Lagging • College & Grad School • Gifted & Talented I m p r o v e Skills, U n d e r s t a n d i n g , G r a t i f i c a t i o n , a n d E n t h u s i a s m A t All Levels O f A b i l i t y

Therapeutic Massage Educational Bodywork Pain Management 660-8255

artist Carol

Wednesday, July 10, 1996, PRESENTED

F U N D E D BY T H E L I N T I L H A C F O U N D A T I O N .

^SCkT > Year-Round Programs - Begin At Anytime Reading, Math, All Subjects, Test-Taking, Study Skills, SAT, Earn Credits, Home School, Thesis, Dissertation South Burlington

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Marti B. Killelea, M S W Emotional-Kinesthetic Insight-Oriented Cranial-Sacral Psychotherapy

Wanted 50 People to Lose Weight

All Natural Products Guaranteed Results Doctor Recommended For 24 hr FREE Info call:

(802) 657-2595

noon

EXHIBITION

F R E E A N D OPEN T O THE P U B L I C .

R o b e r t H u l l F l e m i n g M u s e u m at 8 0 2 - 6 5 6 - 0 7 5 0

Champlain Obstetrics & Gynecology 55 Main Street, Essex Junction, VT Specializing In: 'Office gynecology • Gynecologic surgery • Family planning • Obstetrical care • Menopause • Infertility workups

SHARON MICHENER MACE

Sally Stockwell, M.D. ^ John Gallagher, M.D. - George Till, M.D. Nathalie Feldman, M.D. *»• Jill Jertson, M.D.

^Explore t h e opportunities

• Gynecology Only: Nancy Fisher, M.D. ^ Linda Goodman, C.N.M.

Beyond

(802) 864-3728 22 Church Street. 2nd Floor. Burlington. VT

Will Pay You v Lose Weight

WITH T H E

F o r m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n & t o pre-register, please call:

862-66/4

FREE INITIAL S E S S I O N

IN C O N J U N C T I O N

HEALING LEGACIES: ART AND WRITING BY WOMEN WHO HAVE FACED BREAST CANCER

w k Evergreen Programs and Consultations

Member Vermont Massage Guild GIFT CERTIFICATES

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possibilities of your K% Integrate the past and create new, more satisfying ways of being in the present.

Please call: 8 7 9 - 1 8 0 2 Office Hours by Appointment

BRAZILIAN JU-JITSll

Massage Swedish, Tsafen & Shiatsu

CROUP & PRIVATE LESSONS ALL LEVELS TAUCHT BY JULIO FERNANDEZ, CERTIFIED BY CARLSON CRACIE OF RIO DE JANEIRO

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75 Minute Introductory Session for $30 Laura

PROFESSIONAL SELF-DEFENSE INSTITUTE 39 M A I N ST., COLCHESTER

Luchini

865-1233

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Serving Individuals,

Skilled Mid wives with 20 Years Experience •

Couples, Families a n d

Melissa Deas & Carol Gibson-Warnok

Call 860-8345

C h i l d r e n interested in growth and

802-453-2477

change.

Tamarack Associates Stress

Clinical Sports Massage doesn't have to hurt to work! Sports Swedish

Management

guided

Transformational Tost

Living in Comfort

Massage Massage

Flexibility Training

Danny Hendershot 802-253-4561

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Hypnotherapy ^Birthing 'Energy

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Touch Coach

PHYLLIS A. SATINK, M.S., R N ,

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22 C h u r c h Street Burlington

"Montpelier, VT 802-229-4406 Discover how healthy and comfortable your feet can be in original Birkenstock footwear. And discover the fresh new look of Birkenstock - sandals and shoes in exciting new colors and styles.

12 Y E A R S E X P E R I E N C E m a s s a g e therapist f o r t h e C h a r l e s t o n Ballet a n d Charleston Battery professional soccer t e a m

BERNICE

KELMANU PSYCHIC

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160 College Street, Burlington (802) 862-6911

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real estate C O H O U S I N G IS C R E A T I N G C O M M U N I T Y . It is h a p p e n i n g in the Burlington area. Interested? Call Barbara or D o n , 8 6 2 - 1 2 8 9 days; 6 5 8 4 8 5 7 eves.

office space WATERFRONT OFFICE SPACE F O R R E N T in new building with holistic group. 15-40/week. Sec. deposit, sublease. 8 6 5 - 2 7 5 6 . Avail 7/1.

studio space LARGE, S U N N Y , S H A R E D ARTISTS/CRAFTERS STUD I O . Available immediately. I (woman studio artist) am open to sharing with o n e (or possibly two) other(s) (women preferred). Ideal, lovely, d o w n t o w n waterfront location: T h e W i n g Building (on bikepath, next to Perkins Pier). Friendly environment, retail possibilities, $ 2 1 5 each for 2 or $ 1 4 5 to share between 3 people. All utils &c fees incl. 8 6 4 - 7 4 8 0 .

housemates B U R L I N G T O N . W o m a n to share f u n k y South End h o m e with another. 4 bedrooms, W / D , parking, h a r d w o o d floors, gas stove and more. Vegetarian, N / S , conscious, fun. Cats okay. $375+; you get two bedrooms. 8 6 2 - 6 7 2 7 . July 1st. B U R L I N G T O N : N e w 2-bedroom t o w n h o u s e next to U V M . Furnished. Free parking, W / D , $ 2 7 5 + 1/2 util. 6 5 6 - 5 8 6 4 exr. 6 4 5 5 3 7 8 6 . < U N D E R H I L L : F to share large country h o m e . Sunny, gardens, must like cats. $ 3 7 5 + p h o n e . 899-2866. ESSEX: F w/child seeks F or couple to share c o u n t r y h o m e on 1 acre with big garden. W / D , pets okay, 15 m i n . to Burlington. $ 3 0 0 / m o , m o n t h t o - m o n t h rent. 8 7 8 - 2 8 0 8 . BURL: Straight M , late 20s, w/dog seeks M / F for "nice 2 B D R M D U P L E X . Great neighborhood, yard, parking, 2 porches, storage. Must be responsible, laid-back, conscious & not boring. M u s t like good music. Move in Aug 1Sept. 30. $ 3 8 5 + 1/2 (poss. negotiable) 8 6 3 - 2 4 8 0 . B U R L I N G T O N : Marble Ave. household seeks responsible cigaretteless individual. G o o d company, nice house, basic bedroom. $ 2 7 5 + utils. 8659905. B U R L I N G T O N : 2 F + 1 M, fun-loving, socially conscious, open-minded, non-smoking (mid 2 0 ' s - m i d - 3 0 s ) and d o g seek 4 t h N / S r o o m m a t e , m i d july. Large, lovely old house. Pretty, quiet S. End neighborHood. Woodstove (cheap heat!) W / D , dishwasher. Near Oakledge Park, lake + bus line. Most dogs okay. Sorry, n o cats. $ 1 9 5 + 1 / 4 utils. + 5"

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h r s . / m o n t h light errands for 1 of us (F w / mild disability) 864-7480.

stuff to buy B R E W Y O U R O W N BEER! H o m e m a d e wine and soft drinks, too. W i t h e q u i p m e n t , recipes, and friendly advice f r o m Vermont H o m e b r e w Supply. N o w at our new location next to the Beverage Warehouse, E. Allen Street, Winooski. 6 5 5 - 2 0 7 0 . GOV'T FORECLOSED H O M E S F O R pennies on $1. D e l i n q u e n t tax, repo's, R E O s. Your area. Toll-free, 1 - 8 0 0 - 8 9 8 9778, ext. H - 6 9 0 8 for current listings.

automotive SEIZED CARS F R O M $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, B M W ' s , Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4 W D ' s . Your area. Toll-free, 18 0 0 - 8 9 8 - 9 7 7 8 ext. A - 6 9 0 8 for current listings. D E A L O N W H E E L S ! 1986 Ford T e m p o G L w/low mileage. Great shape, wellmaintained, 5 spd, 2 dr, air. $ 1 5 0 0 neg. Call George @ 865-2303. R A B B I T G T I , black, turns good, b o d y looks great. Sunroof, standard. $ 7 0 0 O B O . Call Aaron, 8 6 3 - 5 3 5 4 .

full-time help wanted HIGHLY PROFITABLE NASDAQ NUTRITIONAL C O M P A N Y offers extraordinary i n d e p e n d e n t opportunities for motivated individuals. Lifetime streams of residual income! call 1 - 8 0 0 - 6 9 7 - 0 8 1 4 or 8 0 2 - 4 2 5 - 4 2 7 9 for appointment. 40,000/YR. I N C O M E POTENTIAL. Home typists/PC users. Toll-free, 18 0 0 - 8 9 8 - 9 7 7 8 ext. T - 6 9 0 8 for listings. 3 5 , 0 0 0 / Y R . I N C O M E potential. Reading books. Toll-free 18 0 0 - 8 9 8 - 9 7 7 8 Ext. R - 6 9 0 8 for listings. W A N T E D : energetic people to move into executive positions as soon as possible. Part-time &C full-time. Real big $ potential. Will train. Call 8 6 2 - 3 9 9 2 . INDIVIDUAL SUPPORT A S S I S T A N T S : We're individuals with developmental disabilities seeking people to assist us in our daily lives. We're looking for people w h o live in our c o m m u n i t i e s and are willing to be our c o m p a n i o n s , assist us in o u r personal care and support us on our jobs. In an effort to help coordinate this endeavor, Lynette Loges at Howard C o m m u n i t y Services will be accepting applications on our behalf. Please contact her at 658-1914. I N T E R E S T E D ? Solve a big problem, get a big paycheck. I a m looking for environmentally-conscious, excited individuals to help. Professional training provided with unlimited $

potential. Call Marc at 862'0628 or toll-free at 888-8020628. I N T E R E S T E D IN SOCIALLY R E S P O N S I B L E BUSINESS? Assist with workshops, newsletters, educational business services. Need excellent c o m m u n i c a t i o n , good organizational skills. One-yr. AmeriCorps*VISTA (Volunteers in Service to America) assignment. M o n t h l y living allowance, med. ins., education award, stipend &C valuable experience. Vermont Business for Social Responsibility, 8 6 2 - 8 3 4 7 . TRAVELING CARNIVAL HELP. Willing to travel a must to set up & run rides. Call 1800-628-5642. LOOKING FOR O U T G O I N G P E R S O N to help rep. a growing c o m p a n y in the food industry. Small initial investm e n t . Potential for big $$. Call George @ 8 6 5 - 2 3 0 3 .

volunteers V O L U N T E E R S N E E D E D for Body M i n d and Spirit Expo July 13 at the Sheraton. Join the fun and partake in this timely event! 8 6 5 - 2 4 2 2 .

child care wanted SATURDAYS, " O N - C A L L BASIS," $5/hr. for 5-year-old girl. So. End, Burlington. Must have car, experience, references, over 18. Kate, 8 6 0 - 1 2 0 6 . LOOKING FOR SITTER FOR SCREAMING, SPOILED, BRATTY Q U I N T U P L E T S . Just kidding. But hey, you can find almost anything with a Seven Days classified ad. Just call 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 and ask for the ever-personable Maggie for more info.

child care offered C O L C H E S T E R BUSY B O D IES DAYCARE soon licensed w/pre-school. O p e n i n g s for 112 yrs. old, meals & snacks included. C P R &c first aid cert. 863-5940.

music T H E K E N N E L REHEARSAL SPACE. AVAILABLE N O W . 3 0 1 7 Williston Rd., So. Burlington. Living room-like atmosphere. Renting blocks of time per m o n t h . Reserve your space now! Call Lee at 6 6 0 2880. F O R SALE: P V 1 0 0 W T N T BASS A M P and Hagstrom 4string bass with P J - E M G pickups. Ideal student rig! W i t h cord. $400. 4 5 3 - 3 9 2 0 . BURLINGTON DOES B U R L I N G T O N double C D available at Pure Pop &c Vibes in Burlington, Tones in Johnson, Buch Spieler in Montpelier, Alley Beat, Sound Source & Vermont Book Shop in Middlebury, G a g n o n Music in Hardwick, www.bigheavyworld.com or send $22 p p d to P O Box 5 3 7 3 Burlington,

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Vermont 0 5 4 0 2 . F L U T E PLAYER - Jazz, Latin, bossa, looking to work weddings, clubs, studio gigs w/working group(s). Acoustic feeling. Let's d o it! Call J o h n Christiano, 4 9 6 - 3 4 5 6 . BASS PLAYER SEEKS G U I TARIST A N D D R U M M E R with vocals to form power trio cover band. Call G o r d o n , 8634729, leave message. PIANO & GUITAR L E S S O N S . George, b y G E O R G E ! performing musician. Folk, rock, blues, altern, "begin-interm. 1st. lesson free! Call 8 6 5 - 2 3 0 3 . ($15/hr. neg.) H a r m o n i c a too! NAKAMICHI CASSETTE D E C K S , model CR1A. Used & in excellent shape, $199, were $ 3 8 0 new. 30-day warranty! Limited supply. M C / V I S A accepted. Call W h i t e C r o w at 658-1270. MUSICIANS - P R O M O T I O N A L P H O T O S -New Studio. *Special* p h o t o shoot and 10 B & W 8 X 1 0 photos w / b a n d name: $100, m a n y options available. Peter Wolf Photo-Graphics, 802-8992350/pawolf@aol.com D R U M L E S S O N S : learn from 30 yrs. experience: X-Rays, H o o D o o Revue, N - Z o n e s , etc...Call Bruce McKenzie at 658-5924. GIBSON J100 A C O U S T I C w/hardshell case. 2 yrs. old, hardly ever played. P D $1350, asking $750. 6 6 0 - 9 8 7 2 . BABY G R A N D P I A N O , M A S O N & H A M L I N . Good cond. Assessed at $ 1 0 , 0 0 0 . Asking $6500. Call (603) 6 4 3 4277, Barbara. , M U S I C I A N S ! G o t t a special gig? L O C A T I O N R E C O R D I N G . C D - q u a l i t y digital stereo, acoustic performance our spe- . cialty. Reasonable rates. Call Bryan at Musical Audio, 4 9 6 4187. D R U M L E S S O N S : Musicians Institute honors graduate. 4 years teaching experience. D r u m m e r for 5 Seconds Expired, (formerly S L U S H ) C u s t o m lesson plans. GARY WILLIAMS: 802-472-6819; 5seconds@together.net

W A N T E D T O ARTISTICALLY P H O T O G R A P H : family m e m b e r in last resting place. G e n u i n e & respectful interest in recording your loved ones after the departure of life. 863-8313. W A N T E D : Artists for wearable Art Show July 20th, 6:30 p.m. City Hall Park. Respond to: P O . Box 5865 or call 8601778. B U R L I N G T O N : W o m a n studio artist seeks other w o m e n interested in getting together to paint. W o u l d also consider f o r m i n g small weekly art/painting group. Large-ish waterfront studio available. Purpose: ideas, feedback; support, f u n . 8647480.

Vermont A SEflVICE

Call864-CCTA

CCTA

to respond to a listing or to be listed.

HUNTINGTON-BARRE I'd like to hook up with someone at the Richmond P/R to carpool to Barre, share expenses. (2077)

so workday, some afternoon flexibility. (2066)

SAL1SBURY-BURLINGT O N . 7-3:30 shift at MCHV. Share commute from somewhere South! (2078)

BURLINGTON to M O N TREAL. I often spend weekends in Montreal, will drive you there Friday evg, and return Sunday evg or early Monday a.m. for help with gas cost. (2051)

WATERBURY CENTER to T O R T ETHAN ALLEN. I " need to save money on gas and would love to carpool several times a week. Will meet on Rte. 100. Let's do it! (2076) .

MONTPELIER BURLINGTON Our longstanding carpool is breaking up and we need a few folks to carpool for an 8 - 4:30 workday. Downtown, Pine Street, the Hill can all work. (1306)

J E R I C H O to WATERBURY, My vanpool disbanded and I'd like to form a carpool from Jericho or the Richmond P/R. 1 work approx. 7:30-4, but I'm flexible. (1062) •

STARKSBORO-JERICHO. I will drive someone to Jericho or the Richmond P/R, parttime, usuallly M W E (2083)

SHELBURNE to SO. BURLINGTON. I will pay for rides for a few months from Shelburne Rd. to Parchen Rd. almost in Winooski. Usually have to get to work by 8:30 a.m., rides home less critical. (2016) WATERBURY CENTERF A H C Burlington. I'd love a vanpool, but there just aren't enough people who can make the commitment. Do you want to carpool for 8-4:30 workday instead? (1937) BURLINGTON T O IBM. Several N 2 Team employees need rides to or from work at IBM. All are willing to pay for rides. If you drive to the plant every day for the N l or N 2 shift and can offer rides, please call. (2063) M O N K T O N to downtown BURLINGTON. I need a new carpool for my commute. Flexible 8:15-4:30 workday. I go R t e 115 thru Hinesburg. Prefer to share, but will consider giving rides only. (1120)

WAITSFIELD to So. Burl. I need rides to Williston Rd. at least 2 days a week and will pay. I can take the bus from where you drop me off/pickup. I work 8:30-5, but will come early, stay lare. (1663) BURLINGTON - M O N TREAL. I can drive you to/from Montreal Wd. or Friday for gas money. Ususally leave mid-afternoon, return late evg. the same day..(2l 13) FAIRFAX - IBM. 1 need rides for a few weeks, and can then share or drive for approx. 6:30/7 to 4 p.m. commute to IBM. Will pay well for rides! (2115) VANPOOL STARTING BURLINGTON and the R I C H M O N D P/R for approx. 7:30 to 4:30 workday in MONTPELIER. Cheap at only $85 a month, and you don't put the miles on your •> car. (1811) * WATERBURY to C O L C H ESTER. I need rides for the summer from Exit 10 to Exit 16 or Malletts Bay. Will pay.

BURLINGTON T O ST. ALBANS New to the area commuter willing to drive or share commute for 8-4:30 or

carpentry/paint REPAIRS, R E N O V A T I O N S , P A I N T I N G , consultations, decks, windows, doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured, references. Chris Hanna, 865-9813.

massage U N D E R STRESS? Take a health break w/ Tranquil C o n n e c t i o n . Cool tub, shower, massage. Certified Therapist. Sessions run 30 t o 90 minutes, $35 to $60. 8 7 8 - 9 7 0 8 . Please leave a message.

personal training G E T S E R I O U S ! Lose weight, shape your body, be healthier.

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W h a t e v e r your goals, you can meet t h e m at h o m e . I'll show you how. Julie Trottier, certified personal fitness trainer. 8782 6 3 2 . $35 per 9 0 - m i n u t e session.

housecleaning E V E N IF Y O U ' R E N E A T AS A P I N , your place still needs a good cleaning n o w and then. Call D i a n e H . , 6 5 8 - 7 4 5 8 , housekeeper to the stars.

personal A Better Way to Meet 863-4308

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Compatibles

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5 Lints, 5 V0^t>S To A LjHfc. 5fcuCtoA yttfr! Each additional Una is $1.50. l o n g e r - r u n n i n g ads discounted 1S1

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PERSONAL ABBREVIATIONS A = Asian, B = Black, C = Christian, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, J = Jewish, M = Male, ND=No Drugs, NS = Non-Smoking, P= Professional, S = Single, W = White or Widowed

WOMEN SEEKING MEN H O T - L I P P E D S M O O T H OPERAT O R seeks sparkling, spunky and demure counterpart for genuine communication and excellent fun. Artists and other creative persons preferred. D E P T H ESSENTIAL! 64891 F U N - L O V I N G TALL MALE lets discover Vermont's summer glory driving with picnic lunch, bicycling, hiking, water games on Lake Champlain. N/S, 48-60, Chittenden County. Are you my adventurous friend? Do you like the outdoors? Do you ski? Come & play with positive & active female. Let's have fun this summer. 64890. S O F T H E A R T / S T R O N G W I L L in classy, easy, sensuous nature. Attractive, intelligent, adventurous SWF wants to learn to golf/snorkel. Be 35-45, educated, athletic, youthful, willing to teach. 64882 W A N N A K N I T YOU A SWEATER, write you a love letter. SWF, mid-30's, seeks S W M , N/S, 32-42 for friendship, possibly more. Must like hiking, mtn. biking, music, reading & be lighthearted. If you have past baggage, can you carry your heart like a newborn child? 64880. SJW - 47. Writer, artist, grown kids. Looking for friend & lover to enjoy the summer in the Kingdom. 64878. I HAVE BEEN IN B U R L I N G T O N FOR L I T T L E M O R E T H A N A YEAR. Lost without a companion. Anyone out there who would like to find me? 64870 M A T U R E 19YO F L O O K I N G F O R S O M E O N E T O HIKE, rollerblade, rock climb, mtn. bike and enjoy the outdoors with. 64867. SWF, 37, N E E D S T O BE F O U N D by wealthy gentleman. 64869 YOU: S W P M , 27-34. Like the outdoors, have a sense of humor, like music, books, good food/conversation. I am a SWPF, 30, long dark hair, blue eyes, nice smile. Still new to area, looking to share summer fun in Vermont. 64823 SPECIAL R E Q U E S T ! SWF, 33, tall, attractive, quiet, with good morals seeking sincere, tall man, 30-46 of MiddleEastern origin only for relationship. 64851. L O O K I N G FOR A M A N W H O ENJOYS HAVING FUN, sports and quiet time. 64846. S W F SEEKING S T R O N G - M I N D E D I N D I V I D U A L that likes reading, long walks who is open to new situations and places and likes to dream. 64849 ARE T H E R E ANY N I C E S I N G L E M E N IN T H E I R 30'S LEFT? S W J P F N/S, 34, attractive, petite, slim, fit. Likes: Walking, reading, dining, Letterman humor. Seeks S W M , N/S, 30s, attractive, educated professional who is easygoing with a sense of humor. 64852. S I Z Z L I N G H O T Central Vt. W F looking for BIG R O C K to D O U B L E MY PLEASURE/DOUBLE MY F U N . M U S T BE Clean/Heal thy/Discreet/Very

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Open-Minded. Call, leave NAME/ STATS/NUMBER. 64853 SWF, 26, ISO A F U N - L O V I N G , E X C I T I N G , FIT P M , 26-40. Not asking for a major commitment, just one for laughter and fun this summer. 64857 RSVP PDQ!!! 2 3 Y O S W N S N D P F ISO S P N S N D P M , A.K.A you! RSVP ASAP 4 F U N w/ A.B.C.'s + 1 , 2 , 3's of L.I.F.E! D O A or D U I need not apply. (SALLY S E A R C H I N G F O R HARRY.) (64861) I N V I T E T O A KISS! 23YOSWPF, naive, shy, funny, blue-eyed curvy blonde ISO gentleman to show me the romantic side of Vermont. 21-31 YO, 5'11" + ! Call me! 64860. SWF, 31, A T T R A C T I V E , M A T U R E A N D A VIRGO. Seeking a gorgeous male, 25-33, to share good times in the sun. Must be considerate, intelligent, and fun. 64859 WANT MAN need love have cash. 64695 O U T G O I N G , FUN-LOVING SWPF, 32 seeks part-American jock, part-European traveler, part-crunchy philosopher, wellrounded, intelligent, sense of humor a plus. I offer same. Call! 64699 WILD ATHLETIC W O M A N LOOKING FOR FUN IN T H E SUN. Educated and experienced. Love to be wined and dined. 64701 JOCK LOOKING T O FEEL T H E BIG ROCK. Great friend and lover and loves to do things over and over. 64727 W O N T JUMP O U T OF AN AIRPLANE, do drugs or stop evolving. Otherwise, I'm game. Responsible, attractive, NSDWPF, playful at heart, seeks friend to grow with. 64735 ARE YOU? Creative, fun, outdoorsy, into racing, music, walking, good moral values, romance, cuddling, health, honesty, and communication. Me too! SWCF ISO SWPN/SM between 35-45. 64729 L O O K I N G FOR FRIENDS: ISO single P.I., police officer, firefighter, or rescue personnel. To meet as friends first, possible relationship. 64757 SWF, 23, enjoys outdoor activities, including hiking, biking & skiing. Looking for out-going, open-minded M who enjoys twisted humor, dancing and good times. Sound like you? What are you waiting for? 64775 R O O T E D LIKE AN OAK TREE, loving winds, rain, sun. Core has 47 rings. Educated, fit mom seeks outdoorsy positive adventurous male for fun, laughter; sailing. 64773 LIFE IS G O O D . Let's enjoy it together. Sincere, spirited DWF, mid-40's, 5'8", diversified interests, needs tall D / S W M 43-52 with sense of humor, tender heart, and love of the outdoors to share adventure, laughter and companionship. 64789 N O R D I C V E R M O N T NATIVE: Searching for a friend. Likes sun, movies, romance, and fun. Ages 23-31. Must have a love for laughter and life. 64790 SPF, 30'S, L O O K I N G T O SHARE L A U G H T E R FILMS, CARTWHEELS, A N D O U T D O O R ACTIVITIES. Great friend, witty, novice pool player, hiker/blader. ISO gifted kisser with wisdom and passion to develop trust and intimacy. Loves her dog but wants a man who can contribute to intelligent conver-

above all laughing! Hopeless romantics encouraged to apply!!! 64792 U N C O N V E N T I O N A L SWNSF/50 seeking friend and life mate (45-55), intelligent, sensual, sincere, creative, sharing, who loves outdoors, the arts, pure fun, good talk. 64795 MAY I HAVE YOUR A T T E N T I O N ? SPF, 30's, intelligent, attractive, humorous, compassionate, physically/emotionally fit and fun. Seeking a friend, lover and companion rolled into one. 64794

sation. 64782 W I N T E R IS FINALLY OVER! Can't wait to spend more time outside. DWPF, NS, 40's, loves gardens, colors/textures, arts, sports, great conversation, music, friends/fun, travel. Seeking N S P M who loves to laugh, is fit, honest, playful, creative 8c adventurous. 64783 INTELLIGENT, SELF-CONFIDENT S W F w/diverse interests ISO thoughtful S / D W M , N D , 25-37 who enjoys slow dancing, cooking, giving backrubs and

I N T E L L E C T U A L BEACH BOY, blond/blue, smooth, 36, 5*11", 175#, jogger, cycler, outdoorsman, artisan/educator, ISO tall, slender, honest, energetic, reserved, athletic, blond, 27-33- 64883 GOOD-NATURED ADVENTURER SWM, 40, attractive, 6', 175 lbs., downto-earth, open-minded, polite, well-traveled, romantic + spontaneous. Hiking, water, nature, music + more. ISO similar, SWF, 30-40, N/S, slimish, fit, intelligent, equal partner, co-adventurer, culture +

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SAILING C O M P A N I O N AD LOOKING FOR SOMEONE IN TERESTED IN SAILING Wi l l I PIE Tl IIS SUMMER ON I I IE MAINE COAST. EACII SAILING TRIP WILL LAST ABOUT ONE WEEK. I CAN PROBABLY ACCOMMODATE YOUR VACATION SCI IEDIILE. SAILING EXPERIENCE NOT NECESSARY AS I WILL TEACH YOU IIOW TO SAIL. 64674

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SCRATCH MY BACK, I'LL PURR LIKE A K I T T E N . SWF, 43, seeking tall W M for long walks, good conversation, candlelight dinners, quiet times. 64800 SWF S E A R C H I N G FOR J E T S E T RENAISSANCE MAN...Charlie Brown with worldly demeanor strongly desired! Let's make it a family affair! Call me to negotiate! 64802 SWPF, 27, 5 7 " , beautiful black-haired vixen seeking a villain to have fun with. Must have a GREAT sense of humor, be adventurous, spontaneous, and adore animals. Not into LTRs with emotional burdens, just friendship with a little bit of spice. Give me a whirl. 64804. SEEKING C O M P A N I O N S H I P . My inte include travel, photography, polo game, museums. Full-figured SWF age 39 seeking M age 40+. 64810 SINGLE, STABLE A N D ABLE!! Looking for Mr. Gable. N o bars, flys, or one-night stands. Bring out the music let's start the band. SWF, blond, hazel. Seeking SWM, 50s, 60s. 64817

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quiet time. Friend + companion this summer. Seeking + possible LTR. 64884 VERY H A N D S O M E , H O N E Y O F A H U N K - warm, exciting, very comical & lovable desires fun, fit, shapely, attractive brunette for wild adventures, terrific love and Romance. Age 25-38. 64885 ARIES SEEKING ARIES, seeks SF 21 to 35. Physically fit body and mind. Cooking a plus, and know how to please a man! Rock and Blues, music, movies, camping, traveling, honesty, sincerity, no drugs, social drinking, smoking okay. Picture + letter a plus. 64887 Y O U N G BUCK! SEEKS SWF, 21-30 w/the urge for spontaneous adventure! Biking, water sports and a little life on the edge; you're my kind of woman. Let's meet. Looking for laid back SWF to talk and spend time with. 64886 WATERBURY, S W P M , 42, N/S, fit, thin traveler, hiker, backpacker, moviegoer, newspaper-reader. ISO independent, fit, thin partner, nearby and spontaneous, who won't sit and wait for the phone to ring. Give me a call. 64888 D W M C N D N / S -35- big teddy bear. Loves outdoors, cuddling, walks, movies, poetry, hugs & more. ISO N / D , N/S woman, 29-40. Possible LTR. Call me. 64889 BE D I N E D , W I N E D , N O T L I N E D by great find with mind, good looks, likes books. Magnum guy, no lie. Are you active and attractive? Say yes! 64881 D O YOU LIKE: Meaningful conversation, back rubs, slow passionate kisses, affection, cooking, fishing, dancing, honesty. SWPM, 27, 5'9", 148 lbs, father ISO slender affectionate SWPF, 26-34. Long hair +. 64879. 25YO CULINARY S T U D E N T looking for some Vermont fun. Love to read, goof off, walk, hear tunes, talk about life. It could be fun. 64877. SHY B U T B O L D ? Q u i e t , N/S, Native American, 29, casual humor, likes hiking, walking, tallking, music & movies. Seeks mentally/physically fit attractive F with different interests. Friendship possible, relationship perhaps. 64766. SAILING C O M P A N I O N - A m looking for someone interested in sailing with me this summer on the Maine Coast. Each sailing trip will last about one week. I can probably accommodate your vacation schedule. Sailing experience not necessary as I will teach you how to sail. 64874 I K N O W YOU ARE O U T T H E R E S O M E W H E R E . Life is too busy to hang out in bars, so I'm trying the personals. DJPM, 39, 6', slim, no kids. Avid bicyclist, into working out, music & night life. Seeks slim fit F with similar interests. 64872 S W M , 19, G O O D - L O O K I N G S T U DENT. Seeks someone who is (18-22) beautiful, athletic, and likes to have a good time. 64871. S W M , 60YO L O O K I N G F O R C O M P A N I O N . Must have interest in fishing, ice fishing, bowling, boating, hunting and home movies and car. 64868. Q: L O O K I N G FOR A W I L D TIME? Partyin' 'til dawn? A. Yeah, rock on, you Bad Boy! B. Now way, baby - long hikes and quiet evenings are more my style. If you chose answer "B," call me. S W M , 31 seeks SF ages 25-32. 64875. G E T A LIFE. It's what I'm seeking Responsible, fun-loving lover for heart only. Woodstoker. 64845 G E N T L E M A N IN L A M O I L E C O U N T Y with two horses seeks Lady with empty stable. D W M , N/S, <40, modern man/old-fashioned values; How About You? 64815

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LET'S G E T T O G E T H E R ! SWPM, 32, 160 lbs, half Spanish and French, likes dancing, traveling, beaches, picnics, camping, quiet romantic evenings,, good conversation, walks in the rain. Kids are great also. ISO SF with similar interests and interest of her own; call me. 64855. S W P M , 34 H I G H P R O T E I N , L O W FAT, a little salty and slightly sweet but spicy vegetarian entree seeks lightly seasoned side dish for balanced eating...you pick the winer-64863. S W P M , 34 EXPERIENCED...TRAVE L L E D . . . O U T D O O R FIT...INTELLECTUAL holistically motivated male with all options seeks female energy to balance my doshas. Let's talk. 6'1", 175 lbs. 64862 SWM, 32, FIT, ATTRACTIVE, ROMANTIC. Enjoys weightlifting, biking, running, dancing, camping, country & rock music. Looking for attractive lady, 2535 with similar interest. 64768 DWPM, 42, FIT ISO PLAYMATE FOR SUMMER FUN. Hiking, good conversation, the outdoors. Also enjoy golf, camping and have a good sense of humor. 64745 N E W IN T O W N . S W P M , 25, warm, smart, funny, good-looking, sensitive, honest, fit, N/S. Left NYC with dog for greener pastures. Would like to meet special SWF with similar qualities who enjoys outdoor activities, cooking (vegetarian), and exploring Vermont. Skeptical of personals? Me, too. Please call. 64765 N E W T O B U R L I N G T O N - Attractive, fit D P M , young 40's, 6'2", enjoys dining, theater, dancing, beach, tennis, singing. Seeks S/DF with similar interests. Smoke OK. 64787 PROFESSIONAL, D W M , 28 -Attentive and active. 5' 10", 180lbs, blue/green eyes, love skiing, golf, mountain-biking, rollerblading. I take work seriously, bift play hard too!!! 64796 WATERSKIING J U N K I E S If you enjoy winding, dining &C dancing after a great day on the lake, let's get together. S W P M , athletic, 40YO, 6'0," 165 lbs. ISO F with similar interests. 6 4 7 9 7 ^ . S W M , 25ISH, SILLY, SUNNY, GROOVY, ELEGANT. If I were a Beatle, Fd b e Paul; ican't play -guitar, •but have sometimes played the fool. Achtung, baby !! 64803 SM, 38, VALUES H O N E S T Y , connection, expressivity, creativity, warmth, gentleness, fun, passion, intelligence, health, beauty, nature, spirit, growth...seeks available younger F for companionship /attraction/intimacy/partnership. 64805. R O M A N T I C LAWYER. Passionate Welshman seeks real woman, not newsprint fantasy. Comfortable, attractive, intelligent, considerate, 6'4", slim, bearded D W M is emphatically outdoorsy, quasi-literate, semi-cultured, and effective. Seeking happy, bright, light, vibrant, eager, liberal N/S W P F born in 50's. Kayak, sail, bike, read, relax, ramble T O G E T H E R . 64798 S W M L O O K I N G F O R S W F age 25 to 35 to have fun, dancing, dinner, romance. Just moved from California. 64806. N I C E , O P E N , E C L E C T I C SM, 30s, great country house near Burlington, seeks lovable SF 20s-30s for summer pleasures, maybe more. Nature, sports, arts, spirit, intimacy... 64807 V E N U S & MARS, Moon & the Stars...Some things just go together. Metaphysically inclined S W M , 37, vegetatrian...active, good-looking, a gentleheart, seeks romantic and health-conscious cat-lover for LTR. Let's explore the sensual and mystical together. It'll be great fun! I've been waiting...64808

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STILL LOOKING! for that special woman, 40-55, who likes to express herself honestly, enjoys movies, walks, rides in the country, quiet evenings, N/SWD. Friendship 1st. 64817 . I'M HERE, ANY TAKERS?: this loyal biker, hiker, poet, writer (dog) ISO a kind, loving mistress for outings, fun, etc. 64809. N S N D P W M Educator, very athletic, honest, secure, handsome, sensuous, fun, humorous, kind, naughty side, outdoorsy. Interests: sports, culture, travel, music, adventure. Wanted: similar woman, 30-45. 64813 ANOTHER LONELY SUMMER? maybe not! SWM, 30, into music, movies, long walks, conversations Seeking SF, N/S, with similar interests for friendship, possible LTR. 64814 WELL, WELL, WELL: Well-educated, well-read, well-rounded, well-bred, wellmannered, well thought of. Well-adjusted? Well-off? Well, maybe. SWPM, 30ish, 6'Cf, 150, N/S ISO SF who is, well, good enough. Well? 64816 SWM, 26, ATHLETIC, TIRED O F ~ T H E BAR SCENE. Looking for a healthy, attractive lady, 23-30 who likes music, sports and romance. 64818 • TALL, ACTIVE SWPM, 35, seeks 28 to 30-something /SWF, no kids (yet) who enjoys outdoor activities as well as romantic candlelight dinners for two. 64824. LET'S WRESTLE with profound ideas, accomplish reversals on mediocrity, pin down beautiful music, be on top of the Green Mountain. You: mentally & physically fit; ageless? 64827 MAYBE T H E ONLY WAY I'll meet you is through a personal ad. I've seen you

around but we haven't had the opportunity to meet yet.. 64828 YOUNG PUP SEEKS KITTEN for playful romps, chasing tail. Willing to share water bowl and more. No hair balls, please. 64829 • SYMMETRY Congruency creates positive chemistry. Highly educated, professional, attractive, trim. Heart-to-heart priority. Intellectual, philosophical, artful, scienceful, soulful, mutual, comfortable, connection only issue. Seek similar lifemate. 64830 60 YO SKI BUM/LANDSCAPER. ~ Happy-go-lucky, work hard/play hard type seeks athletic, attractive, intelligent, happly N/S F to have fun with! 64834 SWM, 34, INTO VOLLEYBALL, STARRY NIGHTS, PLAYING CHESS. Seeking a PF,"21+ who likes children, going to the park &: swinging. 64833. DWM LOOKING FOR OUTDOORSY G O O D LISTENER for adventure and relaxation. 64832. 37 SWM FROG SEEKS S M O O C H ~ VIA SWF for princely transformation. Love to meet on a lily pad for something better than bugs. 64831 SEX SEX SEX 30ish SWDM. Is this what these ads are about? Looking for someone different. Friendship & conversation. Above not ruled out in time. 64837. SWDM, 42, LOOKING FOR S/DWF W H O ENJOYS T H E OUTDOORS, life, and being held. What was the last movie that made a tear come to your eyes? 64840 I'M 5 7 " , 150 LBS, GOOD-LOOKING. I like to have fun. Movies, long

drives, bike riding, lookouts and like kids, u: petite and same likes.. 64841. YOUNG ATTRACTIVE M SEEKS OUTGOING ATHLETIC F. N/S preferred. Likes all outdoor sports and likes quiet evenings at home. Looking for nice-looking, fit F. 64842. I LIKE QUIET NIGHTS W I T H FRIENDS. SPM, 31, loves the outdoors and many sports like rollerblading and biking. I'm ISO a SWF, N D , 25-30 who has similar interest in sports. 64843. SPM 26 ISO SPF FOR FRIENDSHIP, fun times, trips, caring, sharing, possibly more. Would like someone who would like to take trips on weekends to secluded locations &c citys. 64844.

WOMEN SEEKING WOMEN BEAUTIFUL F, 19, seeks feminine M/transvestite for friendship, hopeful relationship. 64769 I'M LOOKING FOR SOMEONE A LITTLE CRAZY AND FUN. Great times on their way with me personally is a must and so is sexual awareness. 64528 GBF - N/S - N/D - makes no demands that others don't - 62 yrs. young - love sports, love to travel by car or train - want a partner to share my time & space. 64706 ATTRACTIVE FEMME, GWDF, 19, seeks GF who likes to go with wind and have fun, insanity a plus. Equal opportunity lover. 64767 BI AND SLY; don't want no guy, 25 times around the sun; the best is yet to come. Call me crazy or just call me! 64821 SHORN BROWN-EYED WOMAN SEEKING WISE & MAGIC OUTDOORSWOMAN age 25-35 to frolic &

maybe cavort with this summer. No excessive vices, please. 64820., HOT-LIPPED S M O O T H OPERATOR seeks sparkling and demure counterpart for genuine communication and excellent fun. Artists and other creative persons .preferred. Depth essential. 64838 32, TALL, FEMME NEOPHYTE ISO G I D E A N D FRIEND! Passions: Shakespeare, Milne, Gershwin, Rachmaninoff. Well-read, energetic, lonely and curious. Can we talk? 64850

MEN SEEKING MEN B1 MALE CD SEEKS SAME for friendship maybe more. 26, brown hair and eyes, likes anything spontaneous! 64892 GWM, 35, 5'10", 140 #, GREEN, BROWN, HIV - 3/96, passive, horses , gardening, acoustic music, alternative energy, homesteading, nudity. Seeks fidelity - consicous, trim woodsman. Woodchucks welcome. 64866 GWM, 43, PROFESSIONAL, 5'9", 160. Does anyone believe in monogamy anymore? Looking for soulmate to share life (25-45). Interests vary: movies, outdoors, travel. All answered. 64876. GWM, 38, ENJOYS JUST ABOUT ANYTHING. Looking for a sincere, honest man to share my life with, 19-45. 64534 PROFESSIONAL GWM, 27, TALL SLIM N/S, attractive and adventurous seeking straight-acting, discreet guy under 30 for friendship and more. 64667 VERY CURIOUS WM, 6'3", 225/65, brown hair & eyes and have been straight all my life. Looking for W'M to fulfill my fantasy. 64753

ATTRACTIVE, MASCULINE, good- > humored, professional male,-55, 5*11", 170 lbs., central Vermont. Enjoys nature, gardening, music, good food. Seeking intelligent, fun-loving sensitive male. 64759 GWM,' 19, brown hair, blue eyes, 5'7", 140 #, looking for another 19-40, for fun times. 64763 GWM. RETIRED. Looking for a sincere live-in companion. 64785 GM PISCES, 38, 5'10", 180, looking for a compatible spirit. In search of a partner in workouts and walks, culture and cause, long talks and quiet moments, friendship and touch. 64801. TRANSVESTITE Beautiful, stunning, sexy, aggressive, slender Goddess seeks a gentle gentleman. Creme de la creme and diamonds. A fantasy from heaven. Friendly, caring, and wonderful. 64812 MASCULINE 6'2", 225 lbs, 37, Italli.m WM seeking another 25-45 for discreet fun. Crossdresser a plus. 64839 BIWM, SHY, BONNY, CURIOUS^ 5'11", 145 #s, brown/blue, young at 36 years, active & healthy. Seeking younge, thin, cute guy who likes the outdoors, new music, movies, travel, adventure. Sense of humor & gentle nature a plus. Realism required. No fooling. 64854. VERY BAD BOY, 46 seeks badtW~da~dT Call me please, sir! 64856.

Ifjrou haven't placed your voice greeting your personal will remain in MAILBOXES. We'll move it when you leave your message!

Torespondto mailbox ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write bax# on the outside and place in another envelope with $5foreach response and address to: PERSON TO PERSON do SEVEN DAYS, PO. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 i

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CENTERED, SMART, DAFFY & SWEET. DWPF, 40, looking for similarly wise, genuine man to share life. Trade stories, Laugh, ski, hike, cook - have adventures. Oh, the places we'll go! Box 002. AMPLE HIPPED SJF SEEKS APPRECIATIVE SJM for intimate relationship. Write and I'll fill you in on the details. Box 026 SWPF, 25, BLOND/BLUE EYES, 5*5" ISO SWPM 25-35: I like flaming sunsets, animals, camping, fishing, playing pool (although not well), partying, spon-

taneity and having fun. I believe in honesty, trust, consideration of others' feelings, dislike head games. How about you? Box 028 STARTING OVER. Where do I go? Children are grown; I'm alone. Love light sparkles but where's Mr. Markle? SF looking for SWM 50s & 60s, varied interests. Box 034 ATTRACTIVE PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMAN 40YO W I T H CHILDREN. Comfortable - honest passionate. Traveling, dancing. Looking for professional white male, sincere, honest, sense of humor, understanding to share life together. Box 041

SINCERE, SPIRITED NS/NA 30YO SWM; homeowner, advocate, writer, photographer w/no kids (yet) and no STD's seeks passionate, caring woman for friendship, companionship, and possibly an LTR. 64145. ANYONE OUT THERE? SWM, college student, 21YO, N/S and fit, 5'10" with brown hair and eyes seeks SF who enjoys

exercising, reading, hiking, laughing and being a bit unusual. Box 010 CAPE COD TRIP side trip to Martha's Vineyard. First mate needed. After Labor Day. Let's plan now. Box 013 DWM, 41, 6 2" WITH EYES OF BLUE. Looking for the love of a female for a oneon- one non-committed relationship, total discretion for the right person. If you desire romance, passion, and the need for excitement in your life, we need to connect. Box 014 • S.D. RED DIAPER BABY seeks rebel girl/union maid, 40-50 for camaraderie and possible solidarity forever. No zealots, recent photo, please. Box 015 CURMUDGEONLY OLD COOT. Creative, intelligent, insolvent w/interests that include early music, photography, flying, Zen, cooking, bicycling, crafts, seeks communicative N/S F w/ warm smile for love, marriage, children. Box 017 SWM SEEKING A CHRISTIAN WOMAN in her mid-late 20s. I enjoy downhill/cross-country skiing, tennis, hiking, long walks & quiet evenings. Please reply to Box 020. TEACHER, COACH, N/SNDPWM, ~ handsome, sensuous, athletic, honest,

fun(ny), secure, morals (little crazy/naughty), country home, camp, 5'9", kidless. Wanted: similar woman, thirties (approx.), photo exchange. Box 022 ADVENTURE, PASSION, EXCITEMENT. Looking for a lady to share these with. No commitments. Privacy assured and expected. DWM„42, 180. Come on, write. Box 024 ROBINS SING BETTER T H A N I. Looking for woman by and by. Seeking 39 plus sparks and storys from writer. Entrepreneur. Could be glory? Box 025 ANARCHIST ARTIST 45+ with one exquisite dress and nice teapot sought by subversive SWM for probing the woof and weave of longing thread by thread. Box 037. PEONIES BLOOMIN, ROSES SWELLING, IRIS DROPPED. Time to get out of chicken coop. Seeking 39 + lass full of sass from poet? Writer fire Box 036

I'M LOOKING FOR A LOVING, CARING, WARM, ETC. RELATIONSIP to share my dreams with. I'm very easygoing, kind, friendly, loving, warm, caring. Lots more of a person. Please write me. Box 040.

GWM7 18, Brown Hair, Hazel eyes, 5'8", 135 lbs, seeks GWM, 18-25 to share summer with. Box 031. CURIOUS, FUN-LOVING BIWM, 5'9" 160, trim, N/S, seeks similar male to play with discreetly indoors & outdoors. Write & describe your favorite games; let's meet. Box 030.

THE BURLINGTON LITERARY SCENE NEEDS A KICK IN THE ASS. Looking for other writers/illustrators who feel the same. Discussion, motivation, amateur lit. mag, production. 64543 VERMONT'S EXPANDED LOVE NETWORK IS A discussion/support group for

love in cyberspace. Point your web browser to http://www.wizn.com/7days.htm to submit your message on-line.

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Your Ad

• Put your personal message on line as soon as you receive your easy instructions. You may not retrieve responses without it! • Free retrieval twice a week through the private 800#. (Details will be mailed to you when you place your ad.) It's sale, confidential, and FUN!

H O W TO RESPOND TO A PERSONAL AD: • Choose your favorite ads and-note their box numbers. • Call 1-900-933 3325 from a touch-tone phone. Confidential information (we need this to run your ad) name

• Following the voice prompts, punch in the 5-digit box # ot the a d you wish to respond to, or you may browse a specific category.

Billing information (if ad exceeds 25 words) additional words x S.50 x 4 weeks =

address

Payment: VISA

city

state

phone

M/C

• Calls cost S I . 9 9 per minute. You must be over 18 years old.

Check/Money Order

• Ads with a three-digit Box # can be contacted through the mail. Seal your response in an envelope, write the Box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: Box # , P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402.

Caid U Exp.'Date

Disclaimer: SEVEN DAYS does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims m a d e in any advertisement. The screening of respondents is solely the responsibility of the advertiser. SEVEN DAYS assumes no liability for the content of, or reply to, any Person to Person advertisement or voice message Advertisers assume

Guidelines:

Free personal ads are available lor single people seeking relationships. Ads seeking to buy or sell sexual services, or containing explicl sexual or anatomical language will be refused No full names, street addresses or phone numbers will be published. Seven Days reserve the right to edit or complete l i a b i l i t y for t h e content of, and all resulting claims made against SEVEN DAYS that arise from the retuse any ad. You must be at least 18 years of age to place or respond to a Person to Person ad same. Further, the advertiser agrees to indemnify and hold SEVEN DAYS harmless from all costs, expenses 4 FREE WEEKS FOR: (including r e a s o n a b l e attorney's fees), liabilities and damages resulting from or caused by a Person to ONE FREE WEEK FOR-. women seeking men ispy Person a d v e r t i s e m e n t a n d voice messages placed by the advertisers, or any reply to a Person to Person men seeking women other advertisement a n d voice message. women seeking women men seeking men

July

10,

1996

SEVEN

DAYS

CLOTHING

Don't Miss PIER 1's Fourth Annual Tent Sale 8am SAT. 7/13

Associate store

With us and your imaginationFind a world of values at PIER 1 52 Church Street On The Marketplace Burlington 863-4644

Monday-Saturday 10-9 Sunday 12-5