Seven Days, July 17, 2002 by Seven Days

SEVEN DAYS & LAKE CHAMPLAIN CRUISES

FULL MOON

C full (fool), adj., 1. complete in all respects. 2. cruise ship loaded with HUNDREDS of unattached heterosexual men and women. moon (moon), n., 1. the earth's natural satellite. 2. the ideal backdrop for romance. sinÂŤgles (sing'gels), n., 1. unmarried persons considered as a group. 2. independent men and women looking to spend a spell binding evening creating friendships, matches and connections. bash (bash), n., 1. a lively social event. 2. a two and a half hour cruise with live music by The Hit Men, tasty treats provided by Shanty on the Shore, cash bar, dancing and mingling. FREE

Wednesday, July 24th PARKING

Join the Love Doctor for the first

SEVEN DAYS SINGLES CRUISE of the season! The Lake Champlain Cruise Ship will depart from the King Street Ferry Dock at 7PM sharp and will return at 9:30PM Tickets are $25 and can be purchased by calling 864-9669 or by dropping by the King Street Ferry Dock For more info, please contact: lovedoctor@sevendaysvt.com page 2a I SEVEN DAYS * july 17, 2002

the weekly read on Vermont news, views and culture CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly GENERAL MANAGER Rick Woods CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne ASSISTANT EDITOR Ruth Horowitz PROOFREADER David Diefendorf STAFF WRITER Susan Green CALENDAR WRITER Gabrielle Salerno M U S I C WRITER Ethan Covey

July 17-24, 2002

Columns

Features Gone With The Wind

AD DIRECTOR Ellen Biddle ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kristi Batchelder, Michael Bradshaw, Michelle Brown, Colby Roberts CLASSIFIEDS MANAGER/ PERSONALS Josh Pombar SALES COORDINATOR Jessica Campisi NEW MEDIA MANAGER Donald R. Eggert INTERN Skye Donovan

Atlantic Theater Company makes a play for Vermont — again

Inside Track By Peter Freyne Crank Call By Peter Kurth Left Field By Michael Colby Tubefed By Rick Kisonak Flick Chick By Susan Green Talking Pictures By Rick Kisonak

Pennsylvania Dltz

Departments

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Alexia Brue, Colin Clary, Kenneth Cleaver, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, Gretchen Giles, Susan Green, Ruth Horowitz, Robert Isenberg, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Jeremy Kent, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Jernigan Pontiac, Cathy Resmer, Robert Resnik, Kirt Zimmer

WHAT'S SO FUNNY? Sit-Down Comics

ART DIRECTOR Donald R. Eggert ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR Rev. Diane Sullivan DESIGNER Josh Highter PRODUCTION MANAGER/ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE Aldeth Pullen CIRCULATION Rick Woods

PHOTOGRAPHERS Andy Duback, Jeremy Fortin, Jordan Silverman, Matthew Thorsen, Jeb Wallace-Brodeur •ILLUSTRATORS Harry Bliss, Gary Causer, Luke Eastman, Steve Hogan, Scott Lenhart, Abby Manock, Paula Myrick, Tim Newcomb, Dan Salamida, Michael Tonn, Steve Verriest CIRCULATION Harry Applegate, Joe Bouffard, Pat Bouffard, Chelsea Clark, Hope Curry, Bill Derway, Justin Hart, Nat Michael, Charleen Pariseau, Shawn Scheps, Bill and Heidi Stone

SEVEN DAYS

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Is Vermont blowing its chance to support alternative By Kevin J. Kelley

energy?

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Encore Curriculum

By Susan Green

Book review: Bubbles in Trouble by Sarah By Pamela Polston

page 12a

Strohmeyer

Move over, Superman: A new brand of"graphic gets the girls By Susan Green

page 18a

novel" page 20a

Funny Business

Pow! A wannabe comic-book writer rolls with the punches By Robert Isenberg

page 2 4 a

Komics Klatch

The characters behind Seven Days' cartoons come clean

By Ruth Horowitz and Paula Routly

page 26a

Seven Days Readers: Here's Your Chance to Leap to Conclusions Should it stay or should it go?

page 34a

Four Score

Art review: Kathy Clarke, Dale Helms, Elena Peabody and Susan Smereka at the Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild By Marc Awodey

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What's your biggest beach pet peeve? When couples get all lovey-dovey on the beach and act like "Sex on the Beach" is their theme song. I say, "Get a room." — Megan Flood Body Shop sales associate Burlington Cigarette butts on the beach. You ever get one between your toes? There's nothing worse. — Bob Johnson Magic Hat brewer and former lifeguard Burlington If it ain't the strangers themselves, it's gotta be their trash. Who eats bananas af the beach? Evidently, most everyone who's recently vacated our stretch of sand. Those of their terrible tribe should either stay at home or switch snack allegiance immediately to grapes — at the other end of the beach. — Gretchen Giles misanthropic freelance writer Petaluma, California

SUPPORT HUMANE SOCIETIES I read your article on taking care of aging pets ("Ten Lives?" by Susan Green) in last week's publication. You mentioned several veterinary hospitals, but there was nothing about the local humane societies. These animal shelters show an incredible amount of devotion to elderly animals, as they are less likely to be adopted than kittens. Some of the no-kill animal shelters end up adopting these animals as "mascots." Unfortunately, many local humane societies are suffering because of lack of support, both financial and provisional, to continue their beneficial work in the communities. I was shocked to hear recently that the Franklin County Humane Society in St. Albans is in imminent danger of shutting down due to lack of support! With so many animals still without homes or care, it saddens me to think of the possibility of losing one of Vermont's best shelter facilities. I feel that it is very important for both the community and the media to support them in their endeavors to help our homeless and aging animals! Thank you.

possibly as early as this fall. Why on earth would he do that? First off, he's barely been on the City Council for a few months and he's already planning his next political move. Second, he would be running against Representative Dave Zuckerman and Bob Kiss. Unlike Mr. Carleton, both are long-time Burlington residents. As someone who professes to be pretty liberal on the issues, which of Dave and Bob's positions does Mr. Carleton disagree with? Is it their 100 percent environmental record? Their staunch support of a woman's right to choose? Their 100 percent labor vote? Is it their work on affordable housing and renters' rights? Maybe it's their hard work on medical marijuana or their fight to prevent Vermont's budget from being balanced on the backs on the State's most vulnerable citizens? It seems that every time I hear about Dave and Bob in the news, they are fighting for the issues I believe in. Like Bernie Sanders, I firmly support the work they're doing in the legislature. I hope they run again and keep working on my behalf in the legislature. — Loyal Ploof Burlington

— Sarah Russell Burlington

NAME GAME Burlington, having failed to name a beach "Bernie" [Inside Track, June 26], would perhaps have more success in re-naming the airport "Howie" for Vermont's most frequent flyer. — William Kevan Randolph

STICK WITH PROGS I saw in Peter Freyne's article [Inside Track, June 26]... that newly elected city councilor Ian Carleton is considering running for the Vermont House of Representatives —

VPT ROCKS In [his 6/26/02 letter] badmouthing public radio/TV, Mr. Peter Moss alleges that the desire for emotional manipulation drives public communications outlets to "beg" for funds, rather than the actual need for funds; this is utterly ridiculous. Witness the recent brouhaha over the cut in recommended VPT capital appropriations by our House of Representatives. I don't think if VPT had had the money already that it would have escaped our legislators' eagle eyes. Mr. Moss tries to prove some wide-sweeping indictment of fundraising. Apparently he would prefer the fleece job other networks do, like NBC's receipt of government funds for approved program plots. How is the pittance of federal support that pubcoms receive a scam? These implications only divide people, much like the misplaced bitterness some ignorami have for "welfare moms" when such fraud is dwarfed a thousandfold by "white-collar crime." Unlike most multinational communications enterprises, pubcoms don't receive our tax dollars so they can acquire other companies (...and then defraud investors!). When was the last financial scandal you heard about in the public communications field? Corporate takeover leading to job losses? Embezzling? Fraud? Class-action discrimination? Sexual harassment?

didn't have locally controlled public media that they would serve our tiny sparsely populated state as much? Should we really, especially after the past year, trust big business that much? Hell no. The airspace is too valuable. As Vermonters we should hold our heads high that our local documentaries, commentaries and pubcom personalities rock! — Jeffrey L. Nelson Burlington WARMING SHAM "Getting Warmer?" a column by Michael Colby [June 19], is so thoroughly offbase that it's hard to know where to start. Read my lips here. There is no scientific evidence to support anthropogenic "global warming." The most accurate global temperature measurements, by NASA satellites and weather balloons, show very little if any warming of the lower troposphere since 1979, aside from the 1999 El Nino event, which even the global warmers do not attribute to human causes... Colby objects to Bush allowing utilities to upgrade old coal-burning power plants without meeting new source emissions standards. True, this would increase pollutant emissions (and prevent power blackouts). But the larger truth is that an unholy alliance of the Sierra Club and the United Mine Workers wrote the 1970 Clean Air Act that made meeting the new standards so costly that utilities kept running old plants rather

Viewing and listening are still optional. Local control is good. Does anyone really think if we

continued on page 32a

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Taliban in Retreat! The big buzz 'round Chittenden County this week is all about the political demise of the local Taliban led by Rev. David Stertzbach of Williston's Trinity Baptist Church. Two years ago, the Bob Jones University-trained clergyman led a right-wing, homophobic, gutterlevel coup that dominated the GOP State Senate primary. The Bible-thumpers almost took down Republican icon Barbara Snelling in the primary because she didn't share their bigoted views of gay people. As the filing deadline passed at 5 p.m. on Monday, it became apparent Rev. Stertzbach is not fielding a similar slate of fire-andbrimstone candidates this time. Fact is, civil unions simply aren't an issue in Vermont anymore. Sources say Stertzbach's Richmond, Virginia, money man, Mike McHugh, pitched "local Republicans with promises of lots of campaign cash if they'd agree to back an effort to take out Barbara's daughter, Sen. Diane Snelling. Diane was appointed by Gov. Dean to replace Barbara/who resigned last January for health reasons. Princess Di was appointed over the strong objections of Stertzbach's religious right. But surprisingly, McHugh, BY PETER once the leader of anti-abortion protests at local women's health • clinics, got no takers this time. "It's a wonderful day in the neighborhood," said Republican National Committeeman Skip Vallee the morning after the filing deadline. "Not one Stertzbag candidate!" he noted gleefully. "I am thrilled with the moderate nature of our balanced ticket."

Ms. Miller is also a yoga instructor. As a '"yogini," she told us, "I go deep inside myself." And if she's elected in November, that could be a big plus for the 2003 Vermont Senate. Don't be surprised if a Sen. Miller leads the body in stretching and breathing exercises. It would fit right in just after the morning devotional exercises. Sure can't hurt. P.S. And if Republican State Senate hopeful Yves Bradley of Burlington also makes the cut in November, the Vermont Senate will be a much cleaner, sweeter-smelling chamber, too. Yves owns and operates The Body Shop on the Church Street Marketplace. Sen. Soap? Wedding Bells!!! — Congratulations to TV news star Ruth Dwyer upon her July 4 marriage to Granite State businessman Tom Kent. The former Republican gubernatorial candidate and current ABC22 investigative reporter told Seven Days she tied the knot in Lyme, New Hampshire. Ruth said she'll keep the "Dwyer" name for TV purposes, but will be known as Ruth Kent in all other matters. Ruth told yours truly her new husband deals in "imported Russian lumber and has a few oil wells in Louisiana." Cool. He's also a widower with F R E Y N E three daughters and, believe it or not, said Ruth, they didn't start dating until June. Like Ruth, her new husband likes to step on it. Mr. Kent, you see, was the star "victim" of Mrs. Dwyer's two-part "Hard Look at Work Zones" series that aired in mid-May. According to Ruth's exclusive report, Tom had been ticketed for speeding in an Interstate work zone where, as you know, fines are doubled. He was clocked at 76 mph in his red Mustang convertible — 26 mph over the speed limit. According to Mrs. Dwyer's report, Mr. Kent fought the ticket. He obtained the road project's plans and presented evidence showing he was not within the one-mile "legal work zone" when he was pinched. The judge agreed, and Kent ended up paying just a $165 fine. Pretty smart guy, eh, Ruth? "He was dumb enough to marry me," she countered. Mazel tovl

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Inside Track

Senator Jogbra? — The Skipster may be thrilled with the GOP Chittenden County six-member State Senate slate, but one big one, as they say, did get away— Hinda Miller of Burlington. Hinda was a co-founder of Jogbra in 1977. She and Lisa Lindahl did with breast support what Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield did with ice cream — became rich and successful. Hinda eventually sold the company to Playtex. In the 1990s, Ms. Miller became the first woman chairman of the board of the local Lake Champlain Regional Chamber of Commerce (LCRCC). As for her political education, Hinda told Seven Days that she had been "groomed" by Wayne Roberts, president of LCRCC, a.k.a. Wayne's World. Wayne, who once worked in the Reagan White House, is not known for grooming Democrats. "She's a nice lady," said Mr. Roberts. "I think it's wonderful Hinda's in the race." There'll be no endorsement, he said, since the chamber does not endorse candidates. Hinda told yours truly that, politically, she's always been "an independent." As a former costume designer, she said, she tried on both "costumes" — Republican and Democrat — and chose the Democrat one. "I decided to go with the Democratic Party," said Hinda, "because I will be with people who are like me." She said she shares Democratic viewpoints on "social justice" and "being inclusive." "I love Republicans," added Miller, "but I can't, in my soul, go along with the social injustices that have been happening." But, make no mistake, Hinda is also about business and the role business plays in creating good jobs. (Her next-door neighbor in Burlington's exclusive Hill section is shopping-center developer Ernie Pomerleau. There goes the neighborhood, right, Ernie?) "Business has to dance with the environment," said Miller. "We have to dance together. It's the only dance we have."

Vermont Jockey Club Update — The ponies return to Saratoga Springs, New York, next week for the summer racing season and there may well be a horse with Vermont connections making a big splash. The horse in question is a 3-year-old filly named Bold World, and she's owned by Burlington's Amy Tarrant, owner of Hardacre Farm LLC. Amy's also the grande dame of Fairholt, the $3.5 million mansion surrounded by the Burlington Country Club. On Saturday at the Calder Race Course in Miami, Florida, Bold World blew out some very stiff competition in her biggest race to date, the sixfurlong, $250,000 Azalea Breeders' Cup Stakes. Amy's lightning-fast filly won by 8 1/2 lengths and set the stakes record! It was Bold World's sixth victory in her last seven starts. Said jockey Calvin Borel to the Daily Racing Form, "She felt like a bomb under me." Word is, Bold World and a few of Amy's other ponies are heading for the Saratoga meet. Bold World is pointed toward the Saratoga Test Stakes on July 27. This is big-time horse racing. Remember, bet with your head, not over it.

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Curses, Foiled Again When a bank robbery suspect being chased by high-school students tripped and fell beside his getaway car in Toledo, Ohio, the driver panicked and drove off. The stranded suspect jumped into the first car he saw, waved a gun at the driver and passenger and demanded that they drive away. The car turned out to be an unmarked police car being driven by Officer Anthony Duncan, who climbed into the back seat and wrestled the loaded gun away from Eric Davis, 31. • A cell phone taken from one of two men killed in a drug dispute led Baltimore police to two suspects when one of them mistakenly pressed a button, which automatically placed a call to a relative of one of the victims. The relative was not home, but voice mail recorded the two men discussing the killings. The relative called police to report the telephone message, and witnesses recognized the voices as belonging to Shelly Wayne Martin and Willie E. Mitchell, both 24. "We got lucky," police Lt. Errol Etting said. "I thought it only happened on TV."

When Guns Are Outlawed Two former members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were convicted of assault with a weapon after attacking Winnipeg police with fresh produce. The

police arrived at a downtown apartment building to investigate a break-in when David Dauphinee, 52, and Daniel Dauphinee, 51, spotted them on the street below from a 19th-floor suite and began hurling oranges, apples and onions at them. The police officers testified they feared for their safety, adding that when they went to the suite to investigate, the Dauphinee brothers, who were reportedly in a drunken stupor, hopped into bed and pretended to be asleep.

money for religious work, "the government would have had a tough time convincing a jury that these people were criminals." • When Willie and Tawanda

were arrested and charged with enslaving and abusing Pridine Fru, whom they brought from Cameroon to care for their three children but who ended up

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The Lord Giveth After receiving repeated assurances from their bank that a mysterious $251,197 deposit in the bank account of their financially strapped tile-installation company was from an anonymous donor, John and Patricia Foote decided the money was a gift from God and began using it for religious purposes. But a year and a half later, federal authorities informed the Delaware, Ohio, couple that the deposit had been a clerical error and ordered them to repay the money or be charged with bank fraud. During that time, however, their company had gone out of business. "You can't get money out of a dead company," the couples attorney, Michael T. Gunner, said, adding that since the couple used most of the

Leaps of Faith

BY ROLAND SWEET

Anderson took their $2200 federal tax-refund check to an H&R Block office ATM that cashes such checks, the machine spit out $72,000 in $100 bills before an employee saw what was happening and shut off the power. Witnesses said the West Philadelphia couple grabbed up as much money as they could carry and took off. Police Lt. Michael Chitwood said the Andersons went on a spending spree, partying with champagne and beer and passing out cash gifts to friends before eventually calling police and turning in $15,500 of the missing money. Police said H&R Block employees may have taken some of the money, but they believe the couple took about $35,500 and is responsible for most of the $18,000 still missing.

Drudgery Joseph and Evelyn Djoumessi of Farmington Hills, Michigan,

assuming all the other household duties. Evelyn Djoumessi was convicted of third-degree child abuse, but instead of receiving up to two years in prison as prosecutor Cheryl Matthews had requested, she was sentenced to do all her own housework for the next three years.

End of an Error Lithuania's Health Ministry announced in May that women applying for a drivers license no longer would be required to undergo a gynecological exam. The rule was a holdover from the Soviet era.

Solving Half the Problem A Japanese company said it has developed a karaoke machine that can make even the most tone-deaf user sound on key. The device from karaoke sound-system provider Taito Corp. monitors the singer and automatically adjusts the key and tempo of the musical accompaniment to those best suit-

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Two days after a 32-year-old Miami woman failed to commit suicide by overdosing on pills, she jumped from a l4th-story condo. She landed on the roof of a Honda CRV, shattering its windows and crumpling its metal roof but otherwise walked away with only a broken arm. "You're trying to take your life away, you fall from the 14th floor and you survive," police Officer Mike Fresco said after talking to the woman. "This is an awakening that this is not your time." • When Mark Waters, 40, locked himself out of his condo in Orange Beach, Alabama, he decided to go to the roof of the 14-story building and climb down from balcony to balcony to his balcony on the 10th floor. He had barely started down when he lost his grip and plummeted nearly 200 feet. He landed in 4 feet of water in the swimming pool below, suffering only three broken ribs, a punctured lung and a few bruises. "A few feet either way," police representative John Mudra said, "and that would have been it." ®

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BY PETER KURTH 1 •

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Something in the way she shows them.

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magine my surprise when I opened my copy of Newsweek the other day and saw that Prozac, "Americas favorite antidepressant" and boon to boomers everywhere, "may have no meaningful pharmacological effect at all." Indeed, Prozac and its chemically similar relatives on the prescription drug market may be "little better than sugar pills" in relieving depression. Wow! According to a recent study, Prozac outperformed placebos by a mere 20 percent, with a great deal of confusion still in the air as to what, exactly, it was 20 percent of — the mind? the soul? the heart? Seven million Americans are currently taking Prozac, Zoloft or Paxil, the big three of the SSRI s — selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors — which only recently promised to revolutionize the human experience by eliminating depression altogether. "Have the drugs been overhyped?" Newsweek wonders, before answering its own question as only a corporate mouthpiece can: "It's not that simple."

Well, of course it's not. For one thing — as Newsweek finally gets around to reporting at the end of its story — people on Prozac seem to do better over the long term than people on candy: "Those getting only a placebo response soon return to their misery." For another, Prozac still rakes in $2.5 billion in annual sales for its manufacturer, Eli Lilly. "And no one is suggesting that drugmakers start bottling sugar pills," Newsweek adds nervously. The pharmaceutical giants are already taking a hit on Wall Street for pushing estrogen on so many menopausal women; and with their patents expiring and generic rivals on the march — well, there's no telling what might happen to the stock market! You'll forgive me if I look at these life-and-death issues solely in terms of money. I'm not alone. Another story in Newsweek reports on the overabundance of remedies for "acid reflux" — a.k.a. heartburn — warning that "some H M O s now balk at covering the pricey pills." That's $10.2 billion a year the pharmaceuticals may have to do without, poor things, since drugs for the stomach enjoy sales second only to drugs for elevated lipids and cholesterol. And at the 14th

International AIDS Conference in Barcelona last week, the only message that cut through the grim statistics concerned dollars, dollars and dollars — how many, from whom, to whom and for what. "Experts say that rich nations need to donate $10 billion a year" in order to battle AIDS effectively, says CBS News: "Current spending stands at about $2.8 billion." In a grotesque appearance alongside former South African President Nelson Mandela, former president Bill Clinton vowed "to get more money" and "more action" for the fight, and asked that he be "held accountable" if he

The stories you read in the papers about a resurgence of infection in the affluent, white, gay communities of San Francisco, New York, Miami and Los Angeles are all designed to disguise this fact. If you doubt it, just listen to Joep Lange, president of the International AIDS Society, pleading for assistance in Barcelona: "If we can get CocaCola and cold beer to every remote corner of Africa, it should not be impossible to do the same with drugs." By way of full disclosure, I'm one of the few HIV-positive people on Earth who got some good news last week. Because

Linda McCartney by Paul

P o r t r a i t

Well, I know. "The world" allowed AIDS to happen because most of those 40 million infected people have dark skin, vaginas and no money instead of sex education and effective contraception. They also live in what the United States likes to call "developing" nations — that is to say, they're completely expendable in the economic picture and, from a purely fiscal point of view, the more dead, the better. Even here, in the land of the free and the home of the dumb, the majority of new H I V infections will be found among African-Americans — women first, followed closely by intravenous drug users and "gay and bisexual men of color." All of whom, by common morality, deserve whatever fate is coming to them and decrease the cost of mass incarceration by dying at a tender age.

That would all depend on who your neighbors are. Bush's are rather exclusively billionaires. Nor does this "compassionate" cretin — a born-again Christian, by his own account — seem to know the difference between the Word of God and the Golden Rule. Jesus never instructed that you love your neighbor "like you'd like to be loved yourself." He asked that you love your neighbor as yourself, without reference to black and white, us and them, rich and poor, sick and well. Put that in your "developmental pipeline" and crunch it, suckers. (Z)

Mary

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I'm white, male and live in a "developed" country, I'll have access to a new drug, should I need it: the long-awaited "T20," which promises to give HIV another run for its money even when the virus has become resistant to all other treatments on the market. So, I have a few more years of life. Lucky me. I don't agree with President Bush when he impatiently tells reporters, "I believe people have taken a step back and asked, 'What's important in life?' You know, the bottom line and this corporate America stuff, is that important? Or is serving your neighbor, loving your neighbor like you'd like to be loved yourself?"

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ermonters got a glimpse into the political future last week when the U.S. Senate voted 60-39 in favor of shipping the nations nuclear waste to Nevada's Yucca Mountain. While the endorsement wasn't unexpected news here in Vermont, the votes of our two U.S. senators certainly were. Independent James Jeffords, a man who staunchly favors nuclear power and previously supported the Yucca depository, surprised many by voting against shipping 77,000 tons of nuke waste to the deep underbelly of the mountain. The usually anti-nuclear Patrick Leahy joined only 15 of his Democratic colleagues by voting in favor of the dump. The good news for environmentalists is that it showed, once again, that Jeffords was serious when he pledged to be a thorn in the right-wing side of the Bush administration. The bad news is that Jeffords' slide to the left on environmental matters is being countered by Leahy's apparent slide to the right. "Jeffords voted his heart," said David Pyles of the New England Coalition on Nuclear Pollution, "and Leahy played politics by doing Governor Dean and the utility corporations a favor in the short term." The Yucca Mountain depository has been on the drawing board for 20 years, costing taxpayers a cool $7 billion to date with a final pricetag of more than $58 billion. Even if numerous regulatory hurdles are cleared, the depository isn't scheduled to open until 2010 and won't come close to handling all the highlevel nuclear waste the nation is currently sitting on. "I have supported the Yucca Mountain proposal in

"It's in our back yard and it's in our front yard," said Corbin Harney, a Western Shoshone leader. "This nuclear contamination is shortening all life. We're going to have to unite as a people and say, "No more! While Leahy would like Vermonters to believe that his vote will get the nuclear waste out of our state and off the banks of the Connecticut River, Jeffords was providing the more honest assessment. "Vermonters need to know," said Jeffords, "nuclear waste will, in all likelihood, be stored on the banks of the Connecticut River even after Yucca Mountain opens." So why would Leahy vote Big for what Jeffords called a "false solution?" In a word: politics. ( Leahy doesn't beat around the bush. "Governor Dean and the Vermont Public • • • 1 1 1 Service Department have consistently called on me to support the repository," he declared. "And today I again respect the wishes and longterm interests of my state." That little political nod to the governor is certainly an effort to boost Dean's fledgling presidential campaign, particularly in the all-important realm of fundraising. It's no secret that Dean enjoys a cozy relationship with Vermont's utility corporations. Nearly 20 per• cent of the early

1 he bad news is that Jeffords' slide to the left on environmental matters is being countered tr T^k

money he raised for his BY presidential MICHAEL political action COLBY committee came from individuals with ties to those entities. Robert Young, the CEO of Central Vermont Public Service Corporation and the chairman of the Vermont Yankee Nuclear Power Corporation, is on record as contributing the maximum of $5000 to Dean's presidential campaign. The company's vice president, Robert Rogan, was also an early financial supporter. Ditto the two top executives at the Green Mountain Power Corporation: CEO Christopher Dutton and Vice-President Stephen Terry. All these utility corporations lobbied heavily in favor of Yucca Mountain, mostly so as to clear the way for more nuclear power generation in Vermont, a prospect that will bring — no surprise — more nuclear waste. As for Leahy, his vote amounts to a small wager. Dean might just get close enough to the White House to throw a few political bones his way. How much of a stretch would it be to suggest "President Dean" might promote Leahy from Senator-for-life to, say, Attorney General? Supreme Court Justice? Meanwhile, the nation is on the verge of bailing out the nuclear industry — again. Leahy and Jeffords both struck out when it comes to calling for the ultimate solution to the waste problem: Stop making it in the first place. ®

arent slide to the right. the past, in the belief that it would resolve the problem and contain both our past and future nuclear waste," Jeffords declared on the floor of the Senate. "However, the truth is that Yucca Mountain will not provide this solution." As chairman of the Senate's Environment and Public Works Committee, Jeffords provided a potential double victory for environmentalists with his opposing vote. Harry Reid, a Nevada Democrat and leader of the anti-Yucca-Mountain brigade in the Senate, apparently made a deal with Jeffords. If the Vermont senator stood with him against Yucca, he'd assist Jeffords in his efforts to strengthen the Clean Air Act. Leahy, on the other hand, put out a long and convoluted statement defending his vote in favor of what environmentalists have dubbed the "mobile Chernobyl" solution to nuke waste. Something needed to be done with the waste, Leahy reasoned, and Nevada's backyard was better than ours. It's this kind of thinking that drives Nevada residents crazy, and it's the primary reason why the state's governor and most of its political delegation have been vehemently opposed to the waste dump. Yucca Mountain is within striking distance of Las Vegas and sits on land considered sacred by the Western Shoshone Nation.

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ermont was once a global pioneer in the development of wind power. Today it's failing to tap the enormous potential of this leading renewable-energy resource. That's the expert opinion of David Blittersdorf, a Charlotte resident and the head of NRG Systems, one of the world's leading suppliers of wind-measurement devices. "When is Vermont going to walk the talk on wind power?" Blittersdorf wonders. "There's this great mystique of Vermont being so green, but when it comes to wind I think of us as a-bunch of hypocrites." The UVM graduate's sour assessment is prompted mainly by the recent defeat in the State Legislature of a bill that would have required Vermont utilities to generate at least a small portion of their power supplies from renewable sources other than hydropower. The proposal would also have allowed electricity customers to buy wind-generated or solar power through their utilities and pay a premium price for that option, an arrangement known as "green pricing." The legislation was approved in the Vermont Senate by a 27-1 margin, with Republican Tom Bahre of Addison County casting the only nay But the measure was beaten in the GOP-controlled House — primarily, says Blittersdorf, because of lastminute opposition from IBM. Big Blue claimed the bill would raise electricity rates that are already among the highest in the country. Backers of the bill vehemently disputed that allegation. Democrat Gerry Gossens, Addison County's other state senator, says the renewable initiative would have had no immediate inflationary effect. He predicted Vermonters would save money in the long term as a result of decreased dependence on imported power and on what environmentalists regard as nonsustainable energy sources such as nuclear and fossil fuels. The environmental advantages of nonpolluting forms of power are both obvious and urgent for an overheating world. "Its discouraging that the bill lost," says Blittersdorf. "It was very basic. It would have taken Vermont a baby step forward,

july 17, 2 0 0 2

compared to what states like Texas have done." Progressive Vermonters may not like following the lead of the Lone Star State, but in terms of wind power, Texas is setting the national pace. Fearing the prospect of an oil bust later this century, blustery Texas has invested heavily in wind power to secure its energy-based economy. It brought more wind-generated megawatts on line last than any other state has to date. The United States lags far behind Japan and other countries in developing wind energy. In Denmark, the world's numberone producer, wind power isn't seen as a politically correct fad; it's a key component of the national energy strategy. All the more so as the country strives to meet the Kyoto Protocol's requirements for reducing greenhouse gas emissions. The Bush administration, meanwhile, has refused to abide by Kyoto's formulas for mitigating global warming. In most of the developed world, wind power isn't considered weird anymore. In fact, it's now seen as the most viable form of renewable energy, apart from hydropower, thanks in part to an 80 percent drop in the cost of wind-generated electricity over the past 20 years. U.S. oil and gas companies are starting to invest in wind because they see it as "the next big thing," Blittersdorf says. General Electric, too, has gotten involved, snapping up the windpower division of Enron. "Solar power is starting to find its legs as well," notes Blittersdorf. "But its still two or three times more expensive than wind. There's really no doubt that

wind power is going to get bigger and bigger."

littersdorf has outfitted his 3000-square-foot Dorset Street home with an array of solar panels and an 80-foot-tall windmill. The blades weren't whirring at all one recent humid afternoon, but the silver structure usually generates enough electricity to meet much of his residential requirement, Blittersdorf says. On especially windy days, the blades spin so furiously that his windmill produces surplus power that gets blown back into the utility grid. His electric meter actually spins backward on those occasions. But raising the windmill was mainly a symbolic gesture on Blittersdorf's part. The cost of "small wind" — the term for such single-customer units — remains substantial for residential customers, at $35,000 or more. Realizing any financial savings from such an investment can take decades. Getting permits to erect the tower was also a hassle. One of Blittersdorf's neighbors fought it on aesthetic grounds, which protracted the process. Blittersdorf finally agreed to cap the windmill 20 feet below a much more effective height for capturing the winds. Opposition to the purported unsightliness of windmills is a major impediment to development of this energy resource in Vermont and elsewhere. In Burlington, for example, objections to siting a demonstration-project windmill on the downtown waterfront delayed its startup and ultimately caused it to be situated in a less conspicuous location — on Burlington

Electric Department property along Pine Street. -Republican State Senator Vincent Illuzzi has had to contend with complaints about his plan to build a 96-foottall windmill on a ridge in Derby overlooking Lake Memphremagog. A Public Service Board hearing officer ruled last month, however, that the tower would not unduly blemish local views. "We're going to have to change our sense of aesthetics," suggests State Sen. Gossens. "We need to be more accepting of wind towers, which many Vermonters actually regard as visually appealing. The alternative is to have more and more oil tankers coming in." Despite receiving little statewide publicity, the legislation to promote renewable energy sparked considerable interest among Vermonters. Gossens says he received more constituent mail on that bill than on any other in the past session. He attributes the concern more to a widely shared green ethic than to a naive assumption among Vermonters that they will be able to build windmills in their own backyards. Clint "Jito" Coleman, president of Northern Power Systems in Waitsfield and Vermont's "Small Business Person of the Year," agrees that state residents are generally supportive of alternative energy initiatives. Coleman also endorses Blittersdorf's view that state politicians have failed to "walk the talk." "Vermont's population is much more in tune with renewables than elected officials are," says Coleman. But he is quick to credit Sen. Jim Jeffords for careerlong advocacy of wind power and notes Sen. Patrick Leahy has also been supportive. The promotion

of renewable energy ranks as a "new cause" for Representative Bernie Sanders, according to Coleman. Northern Power Systems, like Blittersdorf s N R G , does most of its business with out-of-state — indeed, out-of-country — firms. Both are among Vermont's biggest entrepreneurial success stories, although the state accounts for only a tiny fraction of each company's sales. Northern Power Systems now employs 90 people, roughly three times as many as a decade ago when Coleman took over as president after a dozen years of service with the company. It's that payroll expansion, along with productive use of loans from the federal Small Business Admin-

Green Mountain Power built a set of turbines there in 1997, at a cost of $11 million, that is able to generate a maximum of six megawatts of electricity. A subsidiary of Central Vermont Public Service Corp. is meanwhile working with Endless Energy, a Maine-based company, to develop a major wind project atop Little Equinox Mountain in Manchester. T h e Burlington Electric Department has already agreed to buy a sizable share of the power produced by the proposed plant. T h e involvement of Central Vermont Public Service recalls the utility's role 60 years ago as sponsor of what was then the world's largest wind-power facility. It stood atop Grandpa's Knob in Castleton and was in service from 1941 until 1945, when a rotor blade broke off, apparently due to metal fatigue. Thd project was subsequently abandoned. Some Vermont ski areas are considering adding windmills to their mountaintops. T h e potential benefits are significant, since energy represents one of the biggest expenses for an industry that has not fared well in recent years. Use of wind power could prove quite practical, experts say, since wind velocity on Green Mountain summits is often highest on winter nights — precisely when snowmaking machines are often in full operation. Timing is everything with wind power. N o electricity can be generated when winds are calm, and designers still have not solved the problem of how to efficiently store power generated when the wind is blowing strongly. Still, wind power has grown so spectacularly in recent years and prospects for continued development are so bright that some of the toughest-minded investment analysts have become bullish on wind. Deutsche Bank,

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not noted for wishful thinking, declared in a report last February: "We believe wind power is still the fastest-growing power generation source available. This powerful growth has primarily been driven by a change in public sentiment and government policy towards environmental issues. O u r longer-term fundamental view is that wind energy offers the cheapest way of reducing C 0 2 emissions, which supports our long-term growth rate forecast of 15-20 percent per annum. That's the sort of language that Republicans, particularly, should be able to understand even in Vermont. ®

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— David Blittersdorf, NRG Systems istration, that has made his firm "an SBA poster child," according to Coleman, and earned him the small-business award. Northern Power Systems can best be described as an integrator or packager of wind-energy components, according to its president. Much of the company's work is done in remote Latin American and Alaskan villages that are unconnected to utility grids. Northern Power also focuses on research and development of wind turbines, with one innovative design now being used to generate electricity from atop the Rock of Ages quarry in Barre.

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SEVEN DAYS * july 17, 2 0 0 2

Mojo - Chris Bauer, Patrick Fitzgerald, Matthew Ross, Jordan Lage, Clark Gregg, Joey Kern B Y S U S A N GREEN

hen The Beauty Queen of Leenane won four Tony Awards in 1998, the lead actress of the play stepped up to the microphone at the nationally televised ceremonies to thank the Atlantic Theater Company and its artistic director Neil Pepe. H e had seen a performance of the Irish drama in London the previous year and imported the original production for a limited run at his troupe's 182-seat Manhattan venue. T h e show earned such glowing reviews that it moved to Broadway to meet the'demand for tickets. T h e accolade at the tony Tonys was yet another indication that Atlantic — and Vermontborn Pepe — had truly arrived. A string of their own successful theatrical endeavors, many of which were developed during the company's summer residencies in the Green Mountain State between 1985 and 1998, marked the course of a long journey. W i t h an increasingly hectic schedule in the Big Apple, however, the annual summer schlep north finally became too problematic. This month, Atlantic returns to Burlington after a four-year lapse. ."Vermont always felt like it offered a nurturing atmosphere to explore new work," says the 39year-old Pepe. "Ironically, we found that staying in New York each summer ended up being

even crazier than leaving." Instead of Burlington City Hall Auditorium, which Atlantic took over in the past, the Flynn Center for the Performing Arts is now the primary base of operations for a two-week stint of staged readings and workshops. A separate, three-week session at the University of Vermont accommodates students recruited in New York. "I'm excited they're here," notes Flynn Executive Director Andrea Rogers. "I've always enjoyed their urban, edgy feel. They're only doing readings, but it's amazing what you can get out of just a reading with such talented people." Atlantic also comes with impressive associations: In the mid-1980s Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright David Mamet and actor William H . Macy, both graduates of Goddard College in Plainfield, cofounded the company with students from their acting classes at New York University. This nascent group of young performers was encouraged to launch a summer season in Montpelier largely because Mamet and Macy have getaway homes in the area. In hopes of attracting bigger crowds, Atlantic relocated to the Queen City in 1989. "It was usually, at best, a break-even proposition," Pepe recalls. "But Vermont was less about economics than allowing us to take a long, hard look at our

Atlantic Theater C o m p a n y will perform a number of works-inprogress and readings during its two-week residency at the FlynnSpace in Burlington, including:

Oona and Lurleen, by Madeline Olnek: Wednesday, July 24, 8 p.m.

The Hiding Place, by Jeff Whitty: Thursday through Saturday, July 25-27, 8 p.m.

Cogan's Trade, byTracey Letts: Tuesday, July 30, 8 p.m.

The Homecoming, by Harold Pinter: Wednesday and Thursday, July 31 and August 1, 8 p.m.

[To Be Announced] Saturday, August 3, 8 p.m.

new work before bringing it to New York." Atlantic excels at discovering unknown playwrights, many with a penchant for deadpan satire and irony. That tone lends itself to a crisp acting style primarily derived from Mamet's Practical Aesthetics, in which emotional responses spring from dialogue

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IIISilK Beauty Queen - Tom Murphy, Anna Manahan and action — as opposed to a performance driven by preconceived sentiments. The company's technique can give even more dated material a jolt of postmodern ambiguity. While evolving from freshfaced kids to savvy veterans in the last decade, the ensemble

and The Water Engine in the lineup. Pepe directed American Buffalo in both New York and at London's legendary Donmar Warehouse. This summer in Vermont, Atlantic will tackle two pieces without sets or costumes. The Homecoming, by Harold

dealt with divorce." In keeping with its pedagogical bent, the company decided to offer local residents an ecucational opportunity. The Atlantic Theater Acting School is conducting three evening sessions in conjunction with the FlynnArts pro-

"Vermont was less about economics than allowing us to take a long, hard look at our new work before bringing it to New York."

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— Neil Pepe, Atlantic Theater Compan also began to establish a significant presence in the city that never sleeps. Vermont-tested plays like The Lights in 1993 or Mojo in 1997 went on to critical acclaim at the company's theater, situated in a former Gothic Revival church on West 20th Street. Edmond, in 1996, was one of several Mamet works that Atlantic has presented over the years. An entire New York season was devoted to the company's mentor three years ago, with versions of American Buffalo, Sexual Perversity in Chicago, The Duck Variations

Pinter, is "a dark, scathingly funny take on an emotionally abusive English working-class family," explains Pepe, who will serve as the director. Jeff Whitty's The Hiding Place, he says, is "charming and funny, a New York romance that circles around a young writer, a Spalding Gray-type performer and a visual artist." The brief season will end on August 3 with a "classic" — as yet undecided — featuring a large cast. "We might do The New York Idea," Pepe speculates. "It's a 1904 play, and one of the first that ever

gram. One of these workshops explores Practical Aesthetics, in which Mamet tapped into the philosophical wisdom of Stanislavsky, Freud, Aristotle, Joseph Campbell and Bruno Bettelheim. "Atlantic has done a very serious investigation of the theater's intellectual backbone," suggests Flynn Artistic Director Arnie Malina. "Their work synthesizes the great thinking of generations into a sophisticated 21st-century approach."

continued on page 15a

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SEVEN DAYS

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17, 2 0 0 2

Encore Curriculum continued from page 13a

That approach will be intensive for the 25 of Atlantic's more experienced acting students who signed on for three weeks of advanced training on the Redstone Campus at the University of Vermont. The company's standard six-week introductory session is taking place simultaneously in New York. "The regular New Yorkers who study with us year-round wanted to come up here, of course," says Mary McCann, director of Atlantic's school on West 16th Street. "But we find new people who actually do want to be in the hot city. Many of

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ago Cynthia Nixon and Sarah Jessica Parker of H B O s "Sex and the City" headlined a successful benefit gala, says McCann. "Most of us have appeared on that series at one time or another."

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he schedule is a bit frantic for Pepe, who hails from Westminster West in southern Vermont. While McCann sets up shop in Burlington with baby Lena and the summer students, he's directing a play in the Berkshires of Massachusetts: Red Angel, written by and starring Eric Bogosian, opens at the Williamstown Playhouse next week. Pepe will rejoin his colleagues here a few days later.

• Basic Mediation Training with Alice Estey and Tammy Lenski Montpelier, September 4-7, 2002 Cost: $645 • Basic Mediation Training with Alice Estey and Paul Lambe Montpelier, September 18-21, 2002 Cost: $645 • The Mediator's Challenge: Becoming a Responsive Practitioner with Alice Estey and Susanne Terry Montpelier, October 3-4, 2002 Cost: $425

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Edmond- Mary McCann, David Rasche those are international students Red Angel, about a college professor who gets involved with — a lot from Australia." Some of the company's acaa graduate student, is under condemic expertise was refined in sideration for Atlantic's 2003 seaBurlington. The summer classes, son. The Flynn could conceivably once held at the now-defunct pick it up after that; Malina Trinity College, would usually wouldn't mind luring Bogosian attract about 30 students. When back. "When you host a compathat program moved to the New n y like this, there are many ramiYork location in 1997, it doubled fications and possibilities," he l n slze says. "Who knows what might That professional growth is grow out of it?" mirrored in the troupe's personal The idea of inviting the troupe lives. "There were six Atlantic back north occurred to Flynn babies born in six months last Programming Manager Aimee year," says Pepe, who is married Petrin in December. "I always to McCann and fathered their liked their work, but wasn't sure daughter Lena, now 11 months why they stopped coming to old. The census includes a second Vermont. I figured that they child for Macy and his wife might not know we now have Felicity Huffman ("Sports FlynnSpace," she says, referring to Night"), as well as a first for the 150-seat facility adjacent to Clark Gregg (a recurring characthe main hall. "When I faxed ter on "West Wing") and Jennifer Neil, he responded positively. Grey (best known for Dirty Arnie and Andrea were enthusiasDancing). tic, too, even though it was getting In addition to those "olda little late in the game to add timers," Atlantic boasts illustrious Atlantic to our summer schedule." alumni and current associates Petrin was apparently psychic, such as Kristen Johnston ("Third "We decided last year that we Rock From the Sun"), Camryn wanted to get back to Vermont Manheim ("The Practice"), this summer," Pepe says. "It was Kathryn Erbe ("Law & Order: really fortuitous when Aimee got Criminal Intent") and Giancarlo in touch with us." Esposito (Spike Lee's Do the Right The company will be renting Thing). Scott Zigler, an original the FlynnSpace, which provides company member who now an intimate setting for an array of heads the prestigious American music and dance activities. It's Repertory Theatre at Harvard also where Vermont Stage University, will be teaching in the Company is based the rest of the Vermont program this summer. year. Atlantic's Burlington stay will Petrin believed that Atlantic's allow time for what Pepe calls "a classes and workshops would company retreat and summit complement the ongoing educameeting." Chances are the contional activities at the Flynn. "It versation will turn to money. Like all seemed like an interesting virtually every other arts group in match," she says. "And I think the country, theater troupes are , this is a wonderful chance for our always struggling with finances. community to see some great theIn 2001 Adantic organized ater." two movie premieres — Mamet's For Pepe, it's also about the State and Main and Jurassic Park people. "Burlington is a great III, both starring Bill Macy — as audience," he surmises. "This is fundraising events. Two months like coming home." ®

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eople had been watching T V for only a handful of years before Allen Funt was inspired to reverse the relationship. It occurred to the affable young radio personality that it might prove amusing instead for T V cameras to watch ordinary people grapple with situations in which they ordinarily wouldn't find themselves. In 1948 "Candid Camera" was born. T h e hidden-camera format pioneered by the late broadcaster has proved to be one of television's most enduring. Today the J* program, hosted by his son Peteij retains its popularity and airs twice a week on the PAX network. More surprising than its durability, though, is the number of imitators the show has suddenly spawned at the dawn of the new millennium. Now, I've watched "Candid Camera" since I was a kid and always thought it was a harmless hoot. I never considered it particularly cerebral. Next to some of the recent dumbeddown rip-offs, however, the original looks like "Masterpiece Theater." "Hoaxbusters" is the least offensive of the wannabes. Airing periodically on the Learning Channel, the show offers a sort of consumer-alert spin on the setup. Scams and cons are perpetrated on unsuspecting citizens. In one episode, feeble-minded tourists in Great Britain sign up for a "$5000 Tour of Royal Households for $500," apparently believing they'll be hanging out in the inner sanctums of places like Buckingham Palace. Once they've paid their money and made total fools of themselves, the host takes his hapless victims aside, returns their cash and points out the hidden lens with a "Smile, you're on camera!" "These people aren't stupid," he fudges for the home viewer, "they just fell for a deal that sounds too good to be true." Right. And this show's not a

rip-off. It just borrows from Funt's classic, right down to its signature sign-off. "Spy TV" is another story. Essentially everything bogus about contemporary society is embodied by the broadcast. Inspired in part by "Redhanded," a short-lived " C C " clone that aired on U P N in 1999, Hollandbased Endemol Entertainment decided the world needed a hidden-camera show that's irresponsible, tasteless and mean-spirited. And that's exactly what it brought to N B C last June. • At that time, "Spy T V ' hosted smarm ily by "Ed"'s Michael Ian Black. H e was

shown slinking from place to place in a special spy van rigged with lots of monitors, blinking consoles and surveillance equipment. Ostensibly Black and his buds would go on location playing pranks on unsuspecting members of the public. It became obvious at once that the tone of Endemol's show differed profoundly from that of Funt's. W h e r e the ploys of "Candid Camera" featured imaginative premises, "Spy T V " relied on sensational spectacle. Where Funt and company made a gentle, joyful study of h u m a n nature, "Spy T V " made its victims look foolish or pathetic. Much of the time, it also came close to giving them heart attacks. And that's not just my opinion. It's company policy. T h e network's own Web site hails the program as the "show that uses hidden cameras for humiliation." It invites viewers to send in sug-

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pulled by a pet. STV: A group of friends don't know whether they'll make it out alive when the limo they're riding in unexpectedly drives onto a racetrack and proceeds in the wrong direction while speeding automobiles streak past, missing the vehicle by inches. CC: People are surprised when it turns out the elevator they've just ridden has traveled sideways rather than up and down. STV: An elderly woman is terrified when she's told her son is inside a Port-O-Let that's dangling from a helicopter high in the air. She appears on the verge

as she believed, she was clearly distressed by the awkward situation well beyond what any welladjusted viewer would find funny. T h i n k the genre has hit bottom? T h i n k again. T h e worst is yet to come. T h a t would be the opinion, I dare say, of the Washington, D . C . , attorney and his wife w h o in April filed a $ 10 million suit against M T V and the producers of the yet-to-air prank show "Harassment." T h e two claim they suffered distress upon discovering what appeared to be a mutilated dead body in a hotel room on January 25. Hey, can't they take a joke?

These shows aren't about playing jokes A anymore. They're about playing games with people's minds — games that onl; the warped, the puerile or the misanthropic ould possibly consider entertainin gestions for pranks to be played on people they know, "whether you're getting even or just getting laughs." This past season Black was replaced by actress and former beauty queen Ali Landry. T h e spy van was put on blocks in favor of a glitzy new fashionshow-style runway from which the host now introduces segments. While its window dressing may have been upgraded, however, the programming retains its frat-boy cruel streak. If anything, this season was more cold-blooded than the last. Compare the following classic "Candid Camera" segments with some recently broadcast on "Spy TV": CC: New Yorkers don't know what to make of it when they come across a man walking an invisible dog. Funt & Co. rigged a leash so that it extended stiffly in front of the fellow as though

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of collapse when informed that the helicopter is about to release the toilet and send it crashing onto the rocky terrain below. CC: A talking horse gives disbelieving passersby hot tips at a race track. STV: At a burial site, a gag corpse gives cemetery workers a shock when it lunges out of its casket at them. W h e n the creative minds behind "Spy T V " aren't scaring people within an inch of their lives, they like to make victims so uncomfortable they wish they were dead. A recent set-up involved "hiring" a secretary for a female talent agent. Fabio pays a visit, he and the "agent" make out noisily behind her closed door, and then the agent's "husband and kids" unexpectedly pay a visit, eventually discovering her infidelity. N o t only had the job applicant not really found work

That's the point. These shows aren't about playing jokes anymore. They're about playing dirty tricks. They're about playing games with peoples minds — games that only the warped, the puerile or the misanthropic could possibly consider entertaining. Funt must be spinning in his grave. H e once remarked that he considered himself "a student of h u m a n nature rather than a practical joker." M a n y agreed. In his book The Lonely Crowd, the renowned sociologist David Reisman called Funt "the secondmost ingenious sociologist in America." Something tells me the creators of today's hidden-camera shows aren't going to be remembered for their ingenuity. My bet is, if they're remembered at all it will be for causing, in just a few years, the demise of a format that had flourished for half a century o n American television. (Z)

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Whoopee, halfway between Intercourse and Paradise, in her search for Janice. W h o , it turns out, had abandoned her Amish family several years earlier during rum springa. That's the ritual period in which the Amish allow their young adults to experience the modern world in order to make an informed decision about whether the old, agrarian, offthe-grid ways are right for them. Back in Lehigh, where she'd been working in the police records department, Janice had kept that and a few

intermittent steamy stimulation of Steve Stiletto, whose life Bubbles has occasion to save. Toward the end of the story h e . . . well, never mind. It wouldn't do to give away too much. O n e of Strohmeyer's strengths is the vivid development of her hilarious cast of characters. Lulu, for example, is a short-and-wide, wisecracking widower magnet with a penchant for Jackie O-era outfits. Genevieve is a zaftig, musket-toting survivalist and conspiracy theorist with a penchant for military lingo. An

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ubbles Yablonsky is back and she's in trouble, but not the kind you might expect from a 34-year-old Polish-Lithuanian hairstylistcum-reporter with teased, bleach-blonde hair, a Spandexclad, Barbie-doll bod and a purse full of beauty products. No, despite some enticing entanglements with her globetrotting photographer heartthrob Steve Stiletto, the source of Bubbles' troubles are men with other things on their minds, like drug deals, land

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scams a n d . . . murder. And then there's her slimeball ex, D a n the Man, who's welching on his agreement to pay off her student loans from the Two Guys C o m m u n i t y College; and G, the underachieving boyfriend with w h o m her brainy daughter Jane has chosen to keep company. But what launches Bubbles in Trouble on its spirited pursuit of criminals, passion and a journalistic scoop is one too many Jell-O shots: Bubbles uncharacteristically gets soused at a bachelorette party for her friend Janice Kramer and winds up howling "Free Bird" while gouging a pool table with her high heels. T h e rock anthem in turn inspires Janice to hightail it back h o m e to the Pennsylvania countryside, leaving her groom standing morosely at the altar. A n d her Uncle Elwood dead in the bathroom — an apparent homicide — at the condo he had shared with Janice. Adding insult to injury, his Rolls Royce is missing. In her sequel to the Agatha Award-winning debut, Bubbles UnboundMontpelier author Sarah Strohmeyer takes her seemingly flaky heroine away from h o m e — the steel town of Lehigh, PA — and out to

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in Trouble,

other secrets from Bubbles — among them a former Amish beau who repairs and sells cars for a living, and a scary D u t c h m a n with an ominous use for shoo-fly pies and a ruthless desire for Amish real estate. This is probably the first comic mystery set in Amish country, but even if it's not, Bubbles in Trouble is a doozy. It's f u n n y enough just imagining Bubbles sacrificing mascara, tube tops and a hair dryer as she goes undercover with an Amish family. A n d of course our incognito investigator flunks rural living: Imagine an eager-to-fit-in Bubbles sudsing a manure-coated heifer with Alberto V 0 5 ; blowing up her first experiments with homemade root beer; or simply attempting to fake it with the quilting. Alongside this subterfuge, Bubbles juggles her Janicerelated inquiries — which lead to the discovery of some local wrongdoing — with the unpredictable escapades of her man-crazy mother Lulu and Lulu's best friend Genevieve. And then there's daughter Jane and G — will they have sex, or will Jane emulate her mother's surprisingly resilient chastity vow? N o t least, there is the

improbable pair, but somehow they work. Even auxiliary members of the Bubbles cavalcade are drawn with humor, sensitivity and deft detail. While some of Strohmeyer's strokes are broad and highly implausible, the humanity of the characters — especially Bubbles herself — is never sacrificed. W h a t beats beneath those "38Ds" is a proverbial heart of gold, and as the single parent of a teen-age daughter, Bubbles is surprisingly wise. Strohmeyer — herself a former journalist who once wrote for the Barre-Montpelier Times Argus — also has a gift for snappy prose and comic timing. Her Agatha Award was for "Best First Mystery," and already the sequel has been named one of the Top Ten Mysteries for Summer 2002 on the American Booksellers Association Web site. It's clear that Bubbles measures up to the tradition of plucky female detectives a la Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum, and that Strohmeyer has the skill to deliver a series. Her portrait of regional culture, too, is illuminating and entertaining. W h a t could use a little improvement is clarity of plot. Yes, this is a mystery, and by

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While M a m a and Fast Car shamelessly rummaged through Elwood's personal papers, I headed down the short hallway in search of Janice's bedroom. It suddenly struck me as odd that Janice had never invited me here before. There had always been an excuse... my house on West Goepp Street was closer, let's just go to a local restaurant or a movie after work. Since it was always more convenient to get together in town, I'd never secondguessed Janice's motive. N o w I wondered what her true motive was. I knocked briefly and then opened the first door on my right. I stopped still. Janice's white satin wedding dress, still encased in its zippered plastic cover, h u n g from the door to her closet. H e r tulle veil awaited, pouffed and ready, on her bureau. T h e bed was neatly made. Unslept in. A half-packed suitcase was propped open on the floor. I began to seriously question whether Janice had made it h o m e from the party last night. A blue box with a white bow on Janice's bureau caught my eye. It was next to a smaller white box with a card addressed to Myrtle. Bridesmaids' gifts. I brazenly opened the card for me. U p o n reading the first few sentences my heart sighed. "Dear Bubbles," the note began. "You will never know h o w much you've meant to me. You were my first friend when I moved here and my best driving instructor." I pictured my initial face to face encounter with Janice, a plain woman with thick brown braids and a pleasant, friendly face. She was near tears in the driver's seat of her Ford Fiesta from which steam was rising after thirty-two attempts to wiggle out of a tight space on Fourth Street. So I introduced her to the infamous steeltown girl's bump-and-clutch method not taught in most driver education programs. Janice was immediately grateful. But I quickly said it was I who should have thanked her. A week before, Janice had leaked confidential records to Mickey, who had requested them on my behalf for a story I was working on. W i t h those records, I was able to solve the mystery behind a decade-old murder and write the first blockbuster article of my budding newspaper career. This big break couldn't have happened without Janice's assistance, of that I was certain. But I was certainly surprised to discover that my request had led to a bit of clandestine bonding between Janice and Mickey, which eventually blossomed into a rich romance and their speedy ^ ^ f m f i f it Hadn't Been for youi I never would-have met the sweetest, kindest, gentlest man in the whole wide world," it concluded. "I am proud to have you as my maid of honor on this, the most wonderful day in my life." O h , that was too much. T h e waterworks opened and I started bawling. This was not the letter of a nervous bride, a woman with cold feet. Something awful had happened to Janice. Where was she? I searched on the bureau for a Kleenex. Finding none, I went on a h u n t for toilet paper, turning the handle to what I suspected was a bathroom door. I flicked on the light, stepped over the body lying on the tile floor and reached for the roll. After a good blow, I tossed the crumpled tissue into a wastebasket and did a double take.

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CANNON'S genre mandate all cannot be revealed until the end. But it would help if her clues were fleshed out half as well as her characters. For example, the supposed story Bubbles is pursuing for her editor back in Lehigh — about the car-stealing Hochstetter boys — is a thin device and eventually proves to be... oops! Can't say. This is a m i n o r complaint, however, in a book that turns its own pages with amusing subplots, rollicking f u n and enough peril — and romance — to raise the pulse once in a while. Even the occasional recipes seem to fit better than they did in Bubbles Unbound — or perhaps they

just grow on you. And who's to say Sandy's "Bad Girls" Hangover Remedy or Mama's Cuticle Softener won't come in handy? Those who prefer their crime fiction gritty and gory might find Bubbles in Trouble unbearably lite. But this frothy, f u n n y fiction is a great escape when real-life drama is more than you can take. ® Sarah Strohmeyer will read from and sign Bubbles in Trouble Tuesday, July 23, 7p.m., at Bear Pond Bookstore in Montpelier; and Wednesday, July 24, 7p.m., at Borders Books & Music in on.

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wo man's monthly "period" starts and she can't find a tampon! Before long, her h u m a n body shapeshifts into a Godzilla-like creature that terrorizes the city. Blood surges through the streets, until she reaches a pharmacy with a supply of the secretion-absorbing plugs. Her PMS-induced nightmare is over. This scenario — which every female past puberty can probably relate to — comes from Heavy Flow, an "alternative" comic book by Julie Doucet. This isn't your mother's cartoon fantasy. Like many other works in a thriving underground genre of comics, it has a new and darker dimension. "Julie's storytelling is about real-life issues," suggests Sarah Ryan, a 31-year-old Colchester resident and serious comics devotee. "It's very liberating." Ryan and her friend Kerrie Mathes are among a growing number of local aficionados w h o appreciate these literary comic books and graphic novels. Although such material is rooted in an art form that traditionally attracts young male readers, the demographic seems to be changing. "Even little old ladies buy them now," reports Mathes, 30, whose job at the Crow Bookshop in downtown Burlington has allowed her to stock the shelves with these illustrated volumes — though the remainder of the store's inventory is used books. "Many of the artists are in their thirties and forties or older," she says, "but still produce work that can reach all ages." T h e medium of comics has gained respect, Mathes adds. Cartoonists like Art Spiegelman, Daniel Clowes and Chris Ware contribute to the New Yorker magazine. Spiegelman won a 1992 Pulitzer Prize for

& 5 i Z if

Maus, an autobiographical look at how his Jewish family — depicted as mice — fared under the Nazis. Scott Witmer, a recent University of Vermont graduate, is fond of Joe Sacco's graphic novels. "It's really comics journalism," explains the 22-year-old enthusiast. "He gives first-hand accounts from places like Bosnia and Palestine. W h e n he interviews someone, he'll draw them. N o matter what's being said, that keeps their identity safe because they're just cartoons." In one panel of Safe Area Gor adze: The War in Eastern Bosnia 1992-95, Sacco chronicles crimes against humanity. A man observes civilians, presumably Muslim, being led away by Serbian police: "They saw a young couple, a husband and wife... They took them

from the bus... They never came back." N o t all alternative comics are socially relevant, or even angst-ridden, however. "Some are light-hearted," says Mathes. "There are more simplistic styles, too, almost like 'Peanuts.'" But one entity has no place in the world of adult comics: the superhero. "I find them offensive," Mathes says of the preternaturally muscular champions and their busty babes. Earth Prime, also on * Church Street, caters to the action-adventure market with a selection of guy-friendly comics and corresponding merchandise. "I was never into Marvel," echoes Ryan, referring to the publishing empire that foists Spider-Man, Captain America

From New York Diary, by Julie Doucet

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n Ghost World, a short graphic novel by Daniel Clowes that was adapted as an independent film last year, an adolescent named Enid has a particularly sour outlook: "I hate this fucking magazine," she says,

"There is freedom of expression in these comics," Ryan notes. Consequently, they're in a section marked "For GrownUps" at the Crow Bookshop. "People don't understand that the word 'adult,' in this case, doesn't mean pornographic," Mathes explains. "They're just mature in terms of content." W i t m e r points out that the notion of comics as a child's pastime has been turned on its head: "This is almost subversive because the format itself is so accessible, so easy to read."

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Comic books have a checkered history. In the 1950s, when paranoid McCarthyism was in full throttle, a U.S. Senate subcommittee on juvenile delinquency investigated suspect artists for corrupting the morals of American youth. In a few instances, careers were ruined. A code of ethics was devised, fostering censorship. But many comics have long been considFrom Ghost World, by Daniel Clowes ered family fare. Before television came along, while thumbing through her pal each strip in the Sunday "funRebeccas copy of Sassy. "These nies" was a full page — as stupid girls think they're so hip, opposed to one-third of a page or but they're just a bunch of trendy less these days, W i t m e r says. "People looked forward to them stuck-up prep-school bitches as a regular form of entertainwho think they're 'cutting edge' because they know who Sonic ment. Youth is." continued on page 22a G A D Z O O K S , she's cynical.

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SEVEN

DAYS

page 2 1 a

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SEVEN DAYS * july 17, 2 0 0 2

Doucet's alter ego, a Reagan-era art-school student. "Its all so absurd. And when I think about the bomb over our heads... Its a horrible world and nobody cares." Similar themes drove Mad Magazine, another early inspiration for many in the comics culture. "My grandmother had a collection of Mad" Sarah Ryan remembers. "I liked the political satire and really loved the drawings, especially by Sergio Arago-

"Comics have always been. such a kiddy or teen thing,. »o there's a lot of crap out there. But it can be a think ng woman's piece of art." ^ — Sarah Ryan advise me. Finally, I got a professor of Islamic and Chinese studies. Comics were outside his area of expertise, so he got a whole new education." Mathes earned an A in her a writing class at C o m m u n i t y College of Vermont last year for a 14-page paper, "My Life in Comics." In one passage, she quotes a comic critic describing the "stereotypical" reader as "a nerdy teenage boy with fantasies of rescuing Amazonian, scantily clad helpless damsels in distress." Amazonian would seem to apply to both the standard superhero side-chick and the typical target of a Robert C r u m b piece. H e has always demonstrated an affinity for full-bodied, big-buttocked women — frequently headless and in lewd positions. Even so, many alt-comics folks admire the eccentric artist, best known for his "Fritz the Cat" series and the "keep on truckin'" perspective of his '60s-era character, Mr. Natural. In a classic cartoon, the bearded sage declares to a clueless fellow: "Come here, I'll let ya in on a little secret! T h e whole universe is completely

rumb was the title of a 1994 documentary by Terry Zwigoff about the cartoonist's oeuvre. T h e same filmmaker directed the movie version of Ghost World. Although Spider-Man and its ilk continue to interest Hollywood, graphic novels are now being snapped up for the big screen. Road to Perdition, which opened last week, is derived from a graphic novel by Max Allan Collins and Richard Piers Rayner. While Perdition presents a bleak 1930s tale about gangsters, its practically giddy compared with My New York Diary, by Montrdal-born Julie Doucet. Her journal is unlikely ever to be captured on celluloid. "Might as well study what I like," mutters

Vermont Town Tour 2002

page 2 2 a

Some of the U V M alums knowledge on the subject can be traced to the independent study he designed for his final semester, titled "The History of Modern Comics." Witmer, a Delaware native, recalls, "I had a hard time finding someone at the university who knew anything about it to

insane::

Friday, July 26, 7 & 9 p.m. Gilbert & Sullivan's "Trial By J u r y "

continued from page 21a

" A l l T h a t Jazz — T h e Encore"

VERMONT MOZART FESTIVAL

Sit-Down Comics

SutraAWx line drawings, quirky text and at least one shopping list. As a portal to the authors complex thought process, its an intriguing brainteaser. Ware has dubbed his 380page effort "a new humorous fiction." H e also absolves "the fashion-conscious reader of c o m m o n guilt feelings associated with the public consumption of garish and lurid children's literature." Ryan accepts that absolution. "Comics have always been such a kiddy or teen thing, so there's a lot of crap out there," she says. "But it can be a thinking woman's piece of art." That's precisely what Mathes discovered, after encountering a comics-fueled synchronicity as she prepared to move from Iowa to Vermont in 1996. A letter arrived from a stranger, James Kochalka, one of this area's most popular cartoonists. "He had seen my fan letter in a comic book called Silly Daddy" Mathes recalls. "He wrote, 'I just want more girls to read my comics.' I wrote back, 'I already do read them and, by the way,

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From The Smartest Kid On Earth, by Jimmy Corrigan ness. He'd put little visuals in the margins." T h e margins of society are a comfort zone for "sequential art," as graphic novels have been called. Nonconformity plays a big role in this demimonde. "That's how I got into it," confesses Mathes, "by feeling outside the mainstream." T h a t sensibility is evident in Eight ball, by Clowes, a bizarre mixture of contemporary topics underscored by the true story of Leopold and Loeb, two wealthy young Chicago men who committed what they hoped would be the perfect crime in the 1920s. T h e book is rife with irreverence and misanthropy, such as when comics critic Harry Naybors is questioned by a wellread detective investigating a child's murder: " D o you remember what Chekhov said about critics? Something about a swarm of horseflies, wasn't it?"

omics are a great outlet for creative people," Sarah Ryan contends. O n e glance at Chris Ware's Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid on Earth provides ample proof. T h e folded dust jacket opens up to reveal a sort of board game with diagrams, doodles, Kama

I'm moving to your town in a month.'" Since then, they've become friends. Kochalka even included Mathes in his 2001 The Sketchbook Diaries. "For some reason, he draws me with horns," she says, laughing. "But that's O K . James gives himself elf ears and makes his best friend, Jason, a dog." Mathes sees to it that the Crow Bookshop, where she's worked for more than four years, carries an assortment of alternative comics and graphic novels. Just across Church Street, Borders has a few adult-titles shelves dominated by superheroes and Japanese anime. Several minutes of searching yields a few nuggets. A Contract with God and Other Tenement Stories, by Will Eisner, is a 1978 book that reflects his memories of growing up in the Bronx during the 1930s. A blurb on the cover boasts that he "revolutionized sequential art." Eisner's work is quite wonderful, but surely R. C r u m b ought to share in some of that acclaim. O n the other hand, the idiosyncratic cartoonist would probably not expect much, since he knows the universe to be completely insane. And that's no laughing matter. (Z)

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page 24a

SEVEN DAYS

* july 17, 2002

B Y ROBERT ISENBERG

omic books were not on Jan-Ives Campbell's mind when a tired driver ran a stoplight and — BANG! — broadsided his car on a highway in his hometown of Nashua, New Hampshire. His car was totaled s that day five years ago, and Campbell was knocked into a coma that lasted a week. It wasn't exactly Kryptonite, but the accident nevertheless changed his life. Lying in the hospital nursing a punctured lung for three agonizing months, Campbell realized that being a manager at Filene's was no longer enough. He must create superheroes. So he set out in pursuit of his dream. And though his goal has so far proved stubbornly elusive, Campbell has continued to follow it, displaying determination some might call deluded — some heroic. The hospital epiphany wasn't the first time Campbell toyed with the idea of writing and publishing comic books. He'd been a fan of Superman and X-Men for years. As a teen-ager, he had played Dungeons & Dragons and other role-playing games, impersonating the heroes he admired. But in the fall of 1997, his life was looking pretty conventional. He had just proposed to his girlfriend Christine and was ready to

put down roots. A week later, the near-death experience crystallized his obsession; the moment he "checked out of the hospital, Campbell started his search for a comic-book artist. T h e effects of the car crash are still evident — several deep scars run along Campbell's cheeks and chin, and his speech is often slurred. Though he remains fully competent, he recalls nothing from the day of the accident. The healing process has been slow and torturous, but he has more than just recovered; he has gestated a dream, struggling against the odds to produce — if not sell — his action-packed masterwork, League of Super Groovy Crime Fighters. Campbell and Christine — now his wife — moved to Burlington just over a year ago, looking for a change of scene. By day Campbell occasionally still works at Filene's, where Christine is a manager. The couple lives in an unassuming duplex with a tidy lawn in the New North End. But down in the basement, beyond the bright white walls of the stairwell, Campbell explores his other life as a struggling writer and publisher for Ancient Studios. His office is a monument to fan-boy culture: The walls are plastered with comic books and posters, the shelves populated with old-school Star Wars figures

::.

EASONS standing at attention. Every horizontal surface is littered with graphic novels. The room is the size of a walk-in closet, but to Campbell it's a pop-packed fortress of solitude. Here he sits at his desk beneath a small window and contemplates how to save the world -— or rather, how his characters can save it. "I do a fully detailed script, like a screenplay," he says. "'He punches this guy.' 'He enters the room.'Like that." The ideas develop in his head over many months, and then — SHAZZAMi— Campbell types out an entire plot, complete with actions, settings and lines to fill the dialogue bubbles. Campbell's ragtag artistic staff is as informal as a business gets. The second issue of Super Groovy Crime Fighters listed on its masthead "Jylarvelous" Mitch Massey, who pencils* in the drawings based on Campbell's script; "The One and Only" James Taylor then inks over Massey's drawings; and "King" Michael Kelleher adds color and digital lettering. I n the next three issues, however, these Contributors, who are spread, across New England and communicate almost entirely by phone and through e-mail, are not listed —- perhaps because the future of the comic is so uncertain.

"Every race was made to fit their stereotype," Campbell explains. That is, every Asian knew karate, and every black character had an Afro. In his comics, Campbell imagines a '70s where everybody loves disco and Hostess Fruit Filled Snack Cakes —• the preferred munchies after a good pull on a reefer. The characters have stock names like Atlas, X and Mr. Phenomenal. Campbell parodies racial stereotypes with the jivetalkin Black Belt and a fictional ad for the Hai Karate martial arts school. Crime Fighters follows the tragic career of the governmentengineered Sergeant America, who is fired from his military post because of cutbacks in federal funding. Sergeant America has One skill: He can kill people in thousands of different ways. With nowhere to go, he tries to find his former girlfriend — who is married to his arch enemy, the Scepter — and gets-a job at a supermarket. But when he discovers the strange technology of his deceased father, Sergeant America begins to exert a vast and deadly power. In the meantime, an extraterrestrial empire attacks the Earth, giant robots explode and buildings topple left and right.

The competitive world of comic-book publishing and marketing tests the strength and courage of even the most perse-

The stories are meandering and goofy; Campbell constantly postpones his explanation of who the Super Groovy Crime Fighters actually are, and it takes several issues for the Crime Fighters to finally meet Sergeant America. But as satire, the comic books

three issues, and a mere thousand of the fifth. All these were downgraded to black-and-white drawings and cheaper newsprint pages. . Despite these setbacks, Campbell remains stubbornly good-humored about his daunting campaign. On the first page of Issue #2, Mr. Phenomenal sits in an easy chair and says, "If you read Issue 1, you'll no doubt detect that we're not colored anymore." "Now I know you didn't just say we was colored!" cries the Black Belt, finger raised. "What this reject'from a Play-Doh commercial is tryin' to say is this issue is in fabulous black... and white. Emphasis on the black, you dig?" O n his Web site, www.ancient studios.dom, Campbell has published thevtongue-in-cheek "Masochist's Guide to Self- - ~ Publishing/' and he aggressively advertises'the thousands of unread Crime Fighters back issues. He has gried- selling directly to local caijHc-book stores, but says the owners ice reluctant to buy. Earth •Prime Comics owner Chris Fajrell "never got back to him," says.manager John Carl Pepe. "While she found [the comic bpok] -interesting, she had overlooked it for whatever reason. He has a really nice product, there's doubt about that." Of course, a nice product won't fly if the ball keeps dropping. After two years of scrambling, Campbell has reached his financianimits. Because Crime Fighters has no significant following and most stores won't experiment with new series and companies, his business has ground to a

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it verant. Though the odds are stacked against them and the future looks grim, "Creative" Jan-Ives Campbell is a relendess leader, and his quest is far from over.

eague of Super Groovy Crime Fighters is Campbell's endearing revision of the Silver Age comics — produced between the late '60s and early '70s. Tougher language and more challenging themes transformed the hokey old Batman into the modern Dark Knight. The first non-white heroes hit the stands, although the era was notorious for adding cheesy Blacksploitation and Kung-Fu characters to the previously crew-cut-dominated worlds of Green Lantern and The Flash.

are jammed with wit and subtle jabs; the Crime Fighters are always stopping the action to dance to "Get Down Tonight" and insisting on how bad they are. The Crime Fighters series is almost guaranteed to get a laugh. That is, if anyone reads it. "There's no money in comic books," Campbell says bluntly. Since his first print run he's never seen a profit, and most of the books are still in boxes on his office floor. He began selling his first issue of Crime Fighters through the Diamond Comics Distributors, which has a virtual monopoly in the U.S. Like all distributors, Diamond caters to the established companies, such as Marvel and D.C. Comics, and pays little attention to indie companies like Ancient Studios. Campbell printed a less-ambitious 3000 copies of his next

halt. "That project is on indefinite hiatus," he says. But he's not turning in his cape just yet. Campbell is at work on a new, more serious series called Crusader Faith, about a female Christian warrior from Boston fighting renegade demons in the year 2039. The printing company he used in the past has asked $2000 for the first print run of Crusader Faith, a sum he can no longer afford. So he has placed the entire issue on his Web site, including all pictures and text. As for the future of Campbell's endeavors, the questions read like a Spider-Man cliffhanger: Will Ancient Studios persevere? Will Super Groovy Crime Fighters get any attention? Will Crusader Faith ever find herself inked onto actual paper? Or, as Mark Trail might say, "What th'?" ®

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SEVEN DAYS

page 25a I

MMICS

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Love WiTh Me.

DUG NAP Like Mo, the intensely earnest heroine of

You have to be a little whacked to come up with a comic

owes his "outsider" view to an unorthodox upbringing in

Vermont. He went directly from military school to the state

mental institution in Waterbury. "I started art therapy there

when the program first started," he recalls. "That was really helpful." After graduating from Johnson State College

with a B.A. in English, Nap went on to found the punk band Pinhead. He got back into painting in 1989 and has since

expanded his visual art repertoire to include greeting cards,

cartooning and illustrations for advertising. A recent campaign for Merrill Footwear inspired an inquiry from a London kids' book publisher. Nap's also caught the eye of

the curatorial staff at the American Visionary Art Museum.

20-year-old,

issue-packed soap strip, "Dykes to Watch(; t For," Alison She keeps Bechdel doesn't like getting things wri

line like "No Priests Allowed on the Playground." Dug Nap

HARRY

BUSS

charts tracking her intertwining plots, su :ts herself to pins down crushing quantities of current events details by snapping photos on location

interviewing

Cartooning for The New Yorker is not as glamorous as it sounds.

experts — like an adolescent boy, say, put Pokeman.

ed. Fortunately, the Rochester, New York, native, who comes from a

Pennsylvania, got educated at Oberlin Col e and started

Harry Bliss submits dozens of gags a week, most of which get reject-

The

41-year-old

perfectionist

grew p

rural

family of artists, is also an accomplished illustrator. About twice a

cartooning in New York City. Today the an and arousals

Bliss is living the career he dreamed of as an undergraduate at the

publications — all but three of them gajtfid lesbian —

year, his art work graces the cover of the celebrated mag. At 38,

of her quick-talking queers are carried iinore than 60

University of the Arts in Philadelphia. When he's not cranking it out

collected in nine books and translated

for The New Yorker, he's illustrating books for children. His third,

Finnish. The

recent chic of queer culture has also brou(t| her a slew of

is due out next month. "Kids' books,

on-campus speaking engagements. "WhatHi really trying

moved to Vermont three years ago to be closer to his young son. Alex

write about the world through what happe^to be my par-

freak," says Dad. "He wants to make people laugh."

that I actually make a living doing this."

Countdown to Kindergarten,

for all intents and purposes, are the new comics," says Bliss, who

to do is not so much write about lesbiai iubculture as

is already showing signs of artistic aptitude. "He's a cartooning

ticular lens," she explains. "I'm still kiijof astonished

JAMES KOCHALKA

Before he could write, James Kochalka was drawing figures and

speech balloons filled with little scratches. Though they now use actual words, Kochalka's winsome characters retain a childlike appeal. His first public strips appeared in The Vermont Cynic.

The mini-comics movement of the 1990s, when artists started

peddling their own photocopied and stapled works, introduced him to other cartoonists — and publishers. At last count, he had

released 10 graphic novels, including Pinky and Stinky, about

two pigs exploring the moon. The 35-year-old artist also publishes online at animericanelf.com and moderntales.com. "I actually

TIM

NEWCOMB

The antics of Vermont politicians keep Tim Newcomb cartooning. For 20 years, his illustrated

commentaries have livened up local newspapers, from the now-defunct Vanguard Press to the Barre-Montpelier

Times Argus. Newcomb started drawing early — he made books to raise funds

for his high school class — and found himself in good cartooning company at Ohio's Kenyon

College. His buddies there included Bill Waterson, originator of "Calvin and Hobbes," and Jim Borgman, who later won a Pulitzer Prize for his work at the Cincinnati

Enquirer. After gradua-

tion, Newcomb took a short-lived job at an ad agency on Madison Avenue. From there he found his way to Forbes magazine, where he served as art director for six years. Based in Montpelier

since 1982, Newcomb, now 50, makes a living as an illustrator and graphic designer. He also plays a mean Scandinavian fiddle. Newcomb published his first book of cartoons back in the '80s. His second is forthcoming, with an introduction by Seven Days columnist Peter Freyne.

try to push the work into a place I'm not sure the readers are

ready for," he explains. The formula seems to work: Kochalka's

fans include a surprisingly large number of born-again Christians who don't seem put off by album titles like Don't Trust Whiteyor

cartoon characters who display persistent penile tumescence.

When he's not drawing, Kochalka plays the occasional gig — even internationally — as James Kochalka Superstar.

ary Larson and Bill Waterson have put down their pens, the Charleses Schultz and Addams have gone, respectively, to the Great Pumpkin Patch and the haunted mansion in the sky. And it has recently become apparent that "Family Circus" sire Bil Keane has been replaced by a pod. Luckily for us, the local cartoonists who help enliven Seven Days are not only kicking, they're also still thinking for themselves. Their thoughts may not always be pretty — but they do keep us laughing. We decided to take a closer look at the collective contents of their crania — and give them a gander at each others'. So we lured them away from their lonely

Seven Days: Are you all trying to be funny?

James Kochalka: I'm

trying to tell a story. I always have a sense of h u m o r about what I do, but I don't really put gags or jokes in.

drawing tables, sat them down with some beer and turned on the minidisc recorder. W h a t keeps them churning out their graphic gags and serial story lines week after week? H o w do the demands of the market mold their work? Which events, if any, defy humor? W h a t tickles the f u n n y bones of lesbian librarians? What's growing in James Kochalka's bathroom? We didn't have room to reprint the entire two-hour conversation; snippets of insider gossip, comments about post-9/11 masturbation and an anecdote about homophobic firefighters got deleted. T h a t still left us with enough verbal fodder to fill hundreds of speech balloons — and, we hope, to answer some burning questions about the folks behind your favorite funnies. So sit back, "listen in" and enjoy.

Alison Bechdel: I

don't think my strip is particularly funny, and it's not meant to be. I like to try to get some humor in it, but I don't try.

Harry Bliss: See,

I try really hard. I stay awake at night. I'm really obsessed with trying to make people laugh.

Dug Nap: I'm sort of somewhere in between. I don't think I'm being f u n n y — I feel I go for something that somehow engages me. But then I get paranoid. I do the same thing with paintings. I sit on them for a

while and then I go back and pull them out. 7D: So you question your judgment? Your funny judgment? Nap: I think sometimes. I sort of psychoanalyze myself.

Newcomb: Well,

a lot of your stuff, it seems like it's about the human condition or whatever. So it doesn't have to be funny to be about that. But do you feel like you want to make it funny more?

Nap: There are just so many things going on that are weird... I mean just reading the papers all the time, it just makes you laugh. Or, it makes me laugh. 70: So do you feel like there are things you can say through a graphic medi-

um that you wouldn't be able to, say, at a cocktail party? Nap: Well, the delivery has a lot to do with it. If you say something the wrong way you're just going to scare people instead of making them laugh. To me a joke has to be a little bit off. To me that's what a joke is... Like somebody that puts themselves up — I think that's why I named it "Down to Earth" — I just want to bring them back down. I want to pop their balloon.

hits you first, and you think, "Wow, what an incredible piece of artwork," and then you see the pigeon. It's just that lapse of time between getting the first sense of the drawing and then seeing the pigeon... so much of that is so hard to define.

Bechdel: Well,

explaining a joke always kills humor.

BUSS: I think that's why they need to be visual gags. You need to see them on your own.

Kochalka:

I actually feel that the language of cartooning is so beautiful that it doesn't matter what we say.

Bechdel: W h a t

do you mean? T h e visual language?

Kochalka:

Uh-huh.

70: Alison, your strip is very wordheavy. So how does it work for you? Are you thinking of the words?

Bechdel: I'm

totally thinking of the

words first.

Newcomb:

[to Bliss] I was thinking... of your New Yorker cover. If you were to describe your cover to somebody and say, "Well, I'm going to do a cartoon of the lions in front of the New York Public Library and I'm going to have a pigeon coming out of its m o u t h . . . " It's just the visual delivery... T h e beautiful rendering

70: So does the picture or the words come first?

Bliss: It's

Bliss: It

Bechdel: Yeah. W h e n

Nap: But, like you also say, you're not always trying to be funny.

Bechdel: Right.

But if its a one-panel thing there's more pressure to at least be amusing.

7D: And you said there's something funny in the strip somewhere. It's just not necessarily like a ba-daboom at the end in the last panel.

Bechdel: Right.

It's a story.

Kochalka: Well,

obviously a novel doesn't have to be funny. So neither

almost like a script, right? *

can go either way. Actually, that cover came about when I was in Manhattan and I looked at the lions, and I think there was a pigeon there, and I thought that would be so funny if that lion just turned around...

I started, I was doing one-panel cartoons like you guys do, and it was an impossible medium for me. It was just too hard to be f u n n y in one shot.

COMICS K

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continued on page 28a

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does a graphic novel. But there are-more expectations for a single-panel cartoon to be funny. 7/7; How do you know when you've gone too far?

l!iiiiJ::f|si 1 Mill l i i l

• Newcomb: I get very nasfy^ letters —- -

11 ff I n f i l l * :

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anonymous nasty phone calls as well.

\ 7/7; What cartoons have elicited the most of those? i

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\y varies1. Some of the nastiest phone calls have been from fairly liberal Democrats... sometime!? you feel like you have to spread things around and not always just be hammering on Republicans the whole time ,and, oh my God, some of the e thinnest skins. But then, like Nancy niii^inSb^tonMiiiiiliumffl? I do one of those I'm almost guaranteed to get nasty letters. People will cut up the cartoon and move letters around and scratch out the caption and rewrite it, threatening me with death and things. Bechdel: Wow. Does it make you feel bad, or do you sort of like it? Newcomb: It kind of goes in between. Part of me just gets weirded out, but part of me thinks, well, if you don't get these things you're not doing your job. I hate the phone calls. I'll be sitting down to dinner — 7/7; They're calling you at home? NeWCOmb: Oh, yeah, always at home. Never at the office. And you'll get these people who are just breathing fire and I just keep saying, "Look, write a letter to the editor. I mean, that's the forum." Kochalka: I don't get that kind of thing. But I do get people... like I had a fan stake out my post office box once, just because they wanted to meet me. 7/7; Alisdh, you had those librarians who came and found you.

I M S L i M 85 Executive Drive, Shelburne, VT 1 -800-639-5088 802-985-1030 I SEVEN DAYS

ters afong the lines of how f much I've changed their life in some i/vay. Or another thing lately is guys writing to say they've got huge crushes on my wife. Because she's a character in the comic.

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page 28a

my characters going to library . school and I discovered this even more particular subculture of lesbians... lesbian librarians. And I started getting e-mails and phone calls... These two women were visiting their fami-

* july 17, 2002

Newcomb: Angry librarians? Bechdel: No, I started this story line in my comic about one of

ly here and they e-mailed me that they wanted to meet me because they had a story like one of my characters. One of them had worked in a women's bookstore and went to library school. I mean, I'm writing a strip about people and the big thing is, are they going to go to library school, or are they going to get tenure? It's really not a funny kind of comic strip. 7/7; We think it's funny. We all laughed. See? What's your ritual, Tim, for staying up with the news? What do you read? Newcomb: Just being in Montpelier I'm constantly running into people and just getting the inside scoop on what's going on. 7/7; You ever go to the Statehouse? Newcomb: Yeah, although it's kind of hard, because enough people know me that I'll usually just get cornered and yelled at. Kochalka: A lot of my work is autobiographical — obviously not "Peanut Butter and Jeremy," but my books are. So... people have a personal reaction to it. I get a lot of let-

7/7; How about you, Harry? How much does your personal life come into your comics? BliSS: Quite a bit, I think... my son's activities at school. I think the cartoons are pretty much reflective of what is going on in my life. Kochalka: Alison, it seems like you've got really dedicated readers. Do they ever get upset that you've deviated from what they expect your strip to be? Bechdel: Very rarely, and I feel like that's really a failing on my part. I've always been a pretty knee-jerk leftist in my work, and I'm trying to counter that a little bit, trying to be a little more critical of prevailing progressive thought. Not necessarily, u m . . . 7/7; Contrarian? Bechdel: Not contrarian, because I feel that contrarianism is morally bankrupt. It's people who don't really have any convictions. And I really do have progressive convictions. But I feel that it's important to look critically at things in a way that before I wouldn't do. So I think that I'm waiting to irritate more

people. But I haven't done that yet. Kochalka: Nice. Nap: It would be nice on occasion to get a letter from someone saying, you really ruined my life. 7/7; Is cartooning therapy for you guys? Bechdel: Yes. I have especially noticed since last September that it's wonderful to have a soapbox. You know? It's like this way to vent everything I'm feeling and thinking about the world, and then I don't have to carry it around with me after I write it down. Kochalka: For m e . . . it's not therapy, but it's more like the whole structure of my life. I don't have a job, I just draw. I think if I didn't have a job and I didn't draw I'd go completely insane. I think you have to have something to structure your life. I use drawing. 7/7; So is it the act of drawing, or whatyou're drawing? Kochalka: It's the act of drawing. O f course, what I'm drawing is important, too, especially in the autobiographical stuff. Newcomb: I wouldn't call it therapy, but I would definitely have to agree with Alison that it is wonderful to have some kind of soapbox. And it is every week that I get this purging kind of feeling, if that's the word. To feel, whether it was worth anything or not, you've given your two cents on some kind of issue. 7/7; Dug? Nap: I don't know. Lately I've been drawing a lot of landscapes with animals in the foreground, and I get just as much fun out of doing that, and there's no edge there at all. But the other thing I was thinking is that maybe it's not therapy, but it's attention, too. Sometimes little kids will come up to me and I'll be drawing a cow, and they'll go, "That's beauuutiful." T h a t really makes your day. 7D: How about for you, Harry? Bliss: I think of it as a job. I mean I have a therapist for therapy. No, I think of it as a job that I'm fortunate to be able to do and make a living at.

I make people laugh. It's important for me to make people laugh, and to get attention from people by making them laugh, making them happy. Kochalka: I never really totally fit in in the real world. I had very awkward social skills when I was younger, but I'm kind of trying to transform the world into my own image. If enough people read the books, then the world will be a place that I can live in comfortably. 7D: So, Tim, in all the years that you've been doing cartooning about Vermont politics, which issues have been the most fun to address? Newcomb: O h , boy. Um, probably this "Take Back Vermont," civil unions issue. T h a t probably would be right up there. I mean, it's a great time right now, because there are so many just odious people in the

Newcomb: O h , my gosh, there have been quite a few. Madeleine Kunin was always quite fun to draw, just because she has those great droopy eyes, they're wonderful. [Supreme Court Justice] John Dooley has not been in as many cartoons, but he was just great. Nap: But Marselis Parsons has the most interestingly crooked nose ever, if you spend some time looking. It's an amazing nose. 7/7; James, I'd like to ask you about "Peanut Butter and Jeremy." T h e strip seems to move really slowly. Is that sort of an aesthetic of the alternative, indie comics world? Kochalka: T h e only reason they move slowly is that there's a week between each one. If you could read them all in a row, they move quite quickly... Any story that you serialize is

BUSS: T h e storytelling is pretty quick, though, between the panels. But I see your point. Kochalka: I try to make it so that if that's the only strip they read they'd still get something out of it. They might not completely understand it, but it's like a little scene. BliSS: It reads like a storyboard. Bechdel: It's part of a larger story, but it has to work separately. Kochalka: Yeah, the one week's strip has to kind of work as its own mini-story. Even if it's just: T h e cat comes in the window with the bird in its hat, puts the bird in the chair and tells the bird it's gonna nurse him back to health. 7D: So where do they come from, these characters? Kochalka: Well, I did have a friend when I was younger named Jeremy w h o was quite mean to me. And this is sort of my revenge.

"I'M KINO

OF TRYING

TRANSFORM INTO

THE

MY OWN —

WORLD IMAGE."

Bechdel: This is making it much more interesting. Kochalka: Peanut Butter thinks

JAMES KOCHALKA

Newcomb: O h , yeah. There are just really horrible, mean-spirited people up there. It makes it very easy.

7/7; Martinis? O r single-malt Scotch? BliSS: Anything. Anything that's in the house. Vodka. NeWCOmb: Actually, there are a lot of New Yorker people living here and visiting a lot. BliSS: Yeah, there's a lot of displaced New Yorkers up here. 7D: Yeah, but you're not — Ed Koren is drawing about Vermont for people w h o are in N e w York and wishing that they were here on vacation. But a lot of your stuff seems to be Upper West Side apartments or something. BliSS: I try to put myself in the city. I try to visit there pretty regularly... I've always felt the presence of the city in me, even as a kid, and I lived in upstate N e w York.

7/7; A sense of humor?

7D: So the worse things are, the better time you have? KOCHALKA

Newcomb: Well, yeah. To do political editorial cartoons.

7D: Who's your favorite person to draw?

BliSS: I drink a lot.

BliSS: Every three months I'll spend a few days and just take pictures and go out to dinner. .. sometimes meet with clients and stuff. But you soak it up and you take it back. This is a great place to work, t h o u g h . . . a lot of the people here have sort of a similar New York type of mind-set.

7D: Wonderful for cartoonists.

Newcomb: I guess the hardest time is when there's nothing really terrible going on. And when the Legislature's not in session and it's not a campaign year and you open up the newspaper day after day and there's just not much news.

7/7; So Harry, how do you keep in touch with the New Yorker sensibility from up here in Vermont?

7/7; H o w often do you go down there?

Legislature; it's both aggravating and wonderful.

7D: So what's been the hardest time for you to write about?

Kochalka: Well, that's good that you have some concern for him, because Alison hates Jeremy.

going to appear to occur m u c h slower. Nap: W h a t do you mean by moving slowly? 7D: Well, "Mark Trail" moves slowly, too, but again, it is every day. So you only have to wait 24 hours to see him turn from left to right. But when it takes that crow two weeks to get from the tree to the windowsill —

that she works in an office, and that the h u m a n in the strip is her boss. But the h u m a n in the strip is really me, and I'm a cartoonist. I'm sitting there drawing and that cat's just running around doing stuff, and I'm not paying much attention. And I do have a cat of my own, so it's kind of drawn from an imaginary life of what a cat could think they were doing. Newcomb: I was concerned about poor Jeremy. july 17, 2 0 0 2

BliSS: A New York sense of humor. A lot of the cartoons I could sell to The New Yorker I could sell to Seven Days, too. 7/7; There was a m o m e n t there when no one was funny. H o w did you deal with 9/11? BliSS: It was a drag. There was nothing to be f u n n y about, nothing to cover that week... I

continued on page 30a SEVEN DAYS

page

'Director

7/7; Actually, you had a cover on that week, didn't you?

f u n n y comic strip. And so I just showed my different characters in their lives doing what everyone else was doing: watching T V and freaking out.

BliSS: It was supposed to run on that day, and then that hap-

7D: Harry, what did you submit after that week?

was really impressed with The New Yorker that week.

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SEVEN DAYS * july 17, 2 0 0 2

pened. But I thought they did a great job of bringing the humor back in with that little Leo Collum cartoon in the opening where it said, 'I didn't think I would have anything to laugh at again until I saw your tie." It was just a really brilliant way to slowly bring it back. Nap: W h a t are you guys talking about? 7D: T h e impact of 9/11 on humor. Nap: That was the first cartoon I submitted to you. It was about the flag — about people capitalizing on the whole 9/11 thing. It was a woman at a checkout counter: " D o you have any 9/11 toothpaste?" "No, but soon." O r something to that effect. Bechdel: I was really grateful that I don't write a necessarily

BliSS: I submitted a picture of two dogs on the other side in Hoboken looking at the site, and one dog said to the other dog, "My best friend was in there"... It was hard to make a joke about anything that was there... Kochalka: My wife, she could go to her job and be distracted. But I don't have a job. I just draw. And I would just sit at h o m e . . . and cry all day, because the only thing I could think about was all those people dying. But I did do my daily diary comic... I was sitting on the toilet and I noticed there was a mushroom growing out of the corner by the tub and I was trying to think, should I kill it? BliSS: Wait a minute. There's a mushroom in your bathrobm? Kochalka: Yeah, it was a little

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U: Uh, yeah. 1 look over there and-I think, Howard Dean. And then I think, no, it's Tim Newcomb.

Bechdel: It's

true.

Kochalka: You've got that thing. See, that character's got those little lines there. See? You've got the exact same thing.

Newcomb: Time

for a face-lift,

Kochalka: When

you guys work, do you like block out a certain amount of time?

BliSS: The strange thing about being a cartoonist is one day I'll sit in front of the T V for six hours, just surfing: Jerry ; Springer, C N N , whatever. And drinking beers while my wife is at work. I'll do that for the whole day and then the next day I'll wake up and be at the mercy of my creativity. I'll be like, I have to do something. It's really weird. You lose days. Is it Tuesday or Wednesday?

Kochalka: For

me, every single day is completely splintered. I spend half an hour drawing, then I do something else. I walk around the house, do

something else, then I spend another half hour drawing. BliSS: It's a luxury, right? I can do whatever I want today. Whatever I want, I can do today... 7/7; But you feel the pressure — BliSS: Well, it's always there. Because you have to make ends meet. You have to pay the mortgage. At some point, you have to work. Nap: I'm confused about what I should be working on. Should I be doing a card? Should I be doing a painting? I want to keep myself interested. The other thing is I did some ads for Jager, for Merrill. And you think, well, geez, do I really want to do these ads? But they pay so freaking well.

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BliSS: That's the nature of the business — being; out there.

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7/7; Do you see everything as a cartoon?

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Kochalka: I have some friends who try to manipulate our conversations such that they'll end up in my diary. I've got another friend who gets violently angry if I even say I am going to draw him. Nap: Do you actually say, I'm going to see Joe tonight because I could use some...

Kochalka: I

know if I say this to my wife, she is going to react in a way that is going to make a good strip. O n the flip side, if anything bad ever happens, it's kind of good. ®

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continued from page 4a than replacing them with newer, cleaner plants. The act also gave an incentive to dirty old high-sulfur coal plants to keep on dumping sulfur emissions on Vermont these past three decades. Thanks a lot. Colby thinks the U.S. wouldn't sign the Kyoto protocol because it would "hurt corporate profits." The truth is, Bush won't accept Kyoto because it would, if implemented, send U.S. energy-dependent jobs off to the Third World, where smokestacks would belch greenhouse gases into the atmosphere at a prodigious uncontrolled rate. I wouldn't care about the CO2 emissions, but I do care about Kyoto turning America into an industrial wasteland for the benefit of India, China and Brazil. Colby associates Enron with greed — fair enough — but neglects to observe that energy-trading Enron was perhaps the leading corporate backer of Kyoto. Implementing Kyoto would have sent Enron's profits — real ones, not fake ones — through the ceiling, which is why Enron slipped big bucks to Green groups to keep up the clamor for Kyoto. Colby blasts the Vermont legislature for its refusal to pass a "renewable energy bill." He neglects to explain that the most potent part of that bill was a scam by rent-seeking alternative energy producers to force utilities, and thus ratepayers, to pay them an above-market price for their product. The House deserves credit for turning thumbs down on this little bit of Green corporate welfare. Then there's "renowned global warming expert" Bill McKibben, who's not a scientist, just a hypergreen journalist. But enough already. — John McClaughry Concord

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UNDER GOD? You can take "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance [Crank Call, July 3] but you can't take yourself out from under God. Big Brother rules. He has deceived all the nations (Rev. 12:9), father of lies, god of this world. Orwell's 1984 should have been called 3990 BC-2010 AD. The last time a nation was under God with a capital "G" was Judah when the Jews returned from Babylon under Ezra and Zerubbabel. Israel, the 10 northern tribes which the U.S. and Britain came from, hasn't been under God from the beginning of its existence after the death of King Solomon. We don't even keep the Sabbath, one of the 10 Commandments. The greatest country on Earth and we don't know who we are in the Bible. So you have freedom of religion? You can have any religion you want, but you're all under the same god, the god of disinformation. I pledge my allegiance to God. He's going to send a special messenger with the truth — a prophet like Elijah who is going to turn hearts back to the real God. — Harold Reimann Lucerne Valley, CA N O T UNDER G O D Peter Kurth — "Under Whose God?" [July 3] — Thank you for your insight into the history of the Pledge. It is a rather comical thing that this pledge was only introduced in its final entirety in 1954, back in the American age of rotting Manifest Destiny, when our text-

books were still written as if God commanded us to slaughter and dispossess the American Indian. I was unaware of the Pledge's socialist history; it is interesting to know that Francis Bellamy originally desired to include "equality" in the pledge, but knew that it would not be supported due to racist and sexist tendencies of the day. This is one nation, we can assure ourselves, that is not "under God" ... One nation, truly "under God," is a theocracy... not the democratic republic this country swears by and tries to push on any other country stuck in political or military strife in the past hundred years. The important distinction between the "unconstitutional" crowd and myself is not about the Pledge. Instead, it is grievous that we really don't acknowledge the one true God and His one true Son, or the voluminous work He wrote for us to read and follow. It would be wonderful if the pledge could be said in truth... However, it cannot, and so should not be forced upon those who do not acknowledge Him. God said to Israel through his prophet Hosea that "since you have forgotten the law of God, therefore, I will forget to bless your children." This doesn't change the fact that God is still in charge. But to include this phrase in our pledge as if we believe something we simply do not, is and was a mistake. — Markes Wilson Burlington TRUST IN GOD? Peter Kurth's article in your July 3 issue dealt with the phrase "under God" and missed the more salient and trenchant arguments dealing with the use of "In God We Trust." To begin with, even the most fervently religious home owner will put his money in fire insurance rather than trust to God. To protect their sovereignty, nations will put their trust in a strong military first and God second. In other words, most rational people do not put much trust in God. The people who sincerely put their trust in God seem to cause suffering for doing so... There was a case recently in which a child collapsed at a public school, was rushed to a hospital, and was found to have diabetes. The fundamentalist parents prevented medical care, the child died, the parents were tried for manslaughter, found guilty and are now serving hard time. A person's religious beliefs do not give him the right to endanger or destroy the life of a helpless child. I have often wondered how many of the six million Jews killed in the Holocaust had put their trust in God. As concerns "under God," I would like to note that for the 60odd years when the pledge of allegiance did not contain the phrase, America won its wars, i.e., the Spanish-American War and both World Wars. But after "under God" was added to the pledge in 1954, America hasn't done so well. We broke even in Korea, lost out in Vietnam, failed in the War on Poverty, failed in the War on Drugs and ultimately fouled up in the Kuwaiti War. — Raymond E. Leary Shelburne UNDER WHO? Many thanks for Peter Kurth's spoof about the "under God" con-

troversy in the Pledge of Allegiance ["Crank Call," July 3]. We should ~~ not miss the opportunity to explore the God concept and its exploitation by the conservative-inchief. The only God there is was created by men... Billy Graham has claimed that he cannot understand how God can permit such atrocities as the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. An old man I once knew was way ahead of Billy a half-century ago. Until the Holocaust, he was very devout... When he returned from Auschwitz, he became an agnostic... God permitted the Sept. 11 attacks because God exists only in the mind of Billy and other believers... At his dawn, man used graven images like gods made of tin, gold... etc. But these artifacts... could be toppled, smashed, spit on, etc., exposing the false claim of omnipotence and permanence... The greatest single improvement in the marketing of religion... was monotheism: the omnipresent, eternal, all-knowing but permanently invisible God to administer justice and to prevent injustice. It led to Judaism, then Christianity, then Islam. They don't have to explain the whereabouts of God since he is permanently invisible to the believer... The computer concept of a cookie is not widely known. Such a cookie is a string of letters, numbers and symbols that is embedded in a user's hard drive without the user's knowledge or consent... The faith-based initiatives, the Catholic school voucher programs and many other religious devices are institutionalized schemes to implant religious cookies in preferably young minds. The resulting conservatives are sure to support religion, patriotism and the political status quo. Thus are conservatives made, not born... It is time to start a religion for mavens — people who understand the human artifact reality of God which resides only in the manipulated minds of true believers... If mavenism takes hold and grows, it can give monotheism and its retailers a run for their money, er, collection plate. Amen. — George Powers Colchester i PROG SUPPORT I was amazed by Michael Badamo's statement in Peter Freyne's column this week [July 10]. I, too, am a candidate on the Progressive Party line, running for State Representative in Montpelier. I am a newcomer to politics, 26 years old, and a chef at the Coffee Corner in Montpelier. I walked into the Progressive Party office for the first time this winter, to help pass Instant Run-Off Voting. Everyone was open, supportive, encouraging of my effort. When I decided to run for office, people helped me. I went through the endorsement process and was supported by the Montpelier City Committee. My experience has been completely positive and fair. — Jesse Rosado Montpelier SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 2 5 0 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in SEVEN DAYS. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5 e-mail: letters@sevendaysvt.com

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When "The Leapfroggers" was vandalized recently and removed for repairs, some of us were saddened and shocked — shocked! — by such an unconscionable crime. After all, the frolicking little girl-and-boy statue has been part of Church Street culture for 16 years. However — no offense to Vermont artist Dennis Sparling — others were secretly, deeply thrilled. And, even though we do not condone the destruction of property, we wondered why it took so long. Some of us considered the sculpture in the most banal taste, a veritable 3D Norman Rockwell, a cutesy abomination of public art. Some have even suspected "The Leapfroggers" of disseminating a subversive message: girls on top. Whether that's good or bad is your call. Happily, freedom of expression is assured in these United States. And that's exactly why Seven Days invites you to become an Instant Art Critic. Do you think "Leapfroggers" should be restored to Church Street? Why or why not? If not, what public art would you like to see in its place? E-mail your opinions to ieapfroggers@sevendaysvt.corn by noon on Monday, July 22. Please include your name, town you live in and daytime phone number (for verification only). The most creative responses — pro and con — will be published in the July 24 issue of Seven Days. Let your voices be heard, er, read! (Note: Your opinions and ours may not have the slightest impact on whether "The Leapfroggers" returns to Church Street.)

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Inside Track continued from page 5 a

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syndicated column on Gov. Howard Dean's presidential aspirations off the front page. And Sundays New York Times Magazine gave him a big splash with a full-page Q&A alongside a giant picture of our beloved HoHo. Best question? Q. Describe your worst day on the trail so far. A. The worst one was when I got to Greek Day in Boston thinking I was giving a speech, but all the speeches were to be given in Greek. On Monday, Congressman Bernie Sanders took note of Dr. Deans switcheroo on U.S. trade policy. At a press conference at his Burlington office, Ol' Bernardo highlighted the nations loss of two million manufacturing jobs in the last four years. Bernie blames free-trade agreements such as NAFTA. He said more and more members of Congress are waking up to the reality that corporations are moving their manufacturing jobs to China and Mexico and Vietnam by the truckload. And he delighted in reading aloud from Broder's column that Howard Dean is waking up, too: "In fact, Dean has shifted some positions — and espoused some special-interest causes," wrote Broder. "A supporter of the North American Free Trade Agreement and 'fast track' trade negotiating authority when Bill Clinton was president, he now tells groups -— including union members — that he would not vote to give similar negotiating power to Bush without enforceable guarantees of workers' rights and environmental standards." "Better late than never," said Sanders. One thing Ho-Ho won't budge on, however, is his decision not to criticize President Bush's performance in the "War on Terror." Wonder if that was the recent good advice Dean got from Bill Clinton? This week our governor's been in Nebraska and Iowa. Having a ball as the new kid on the presidential block, bragging about his A-rating from the National Rifle Association to the folks on the prairies. Governor's Race — The Vermont Progressive Party gubernatorial primary got a little more interesting this week with the surprise entry of mischief-maker Peter DiamondStone of Brattleboro. Peter usually runs for Congress on the Liberty Union ticket every two years because of his antipathy for Bernie Sanders, a former Liberty Union comrade from the good old days. But this time Mr. Diamondstone has decided to make his biennial splash in the new Progressive Party pool. That sets up a primary with Michael Badamo, the candidate Prog insiders have been ignoring. Nor do they want anything to so with Diamondstone. Yuck! Its not easy being a major party in a democracy, is it? Early Winter Release — The biography of the U.S. senator

page 36a I SEVEN DAYS * july 17, 2002

who single-handedly put an end to the omnipotence of the George W. Bush White House is due on bookstore shelves by r* Christmas. Unlike his earlier slim volume, My Declaration of Independence, Jim Jeffords' biography will require more than one visit to the outhouse to complete — it's 400 pages long. Two topnotch Vermont writers worked on the project with Jeezum Jim. Yvonne Daley made her mark at the Rutland Herald and now teaches at San Francisco State University. Howard Coffin is an acclaimed Vermont Civil War writer. An Independent Man, published by Simon & Schuster, tells it all, according to Ms. Daley, from Jim's childhood in Rutland on up through the layers of Vermont politics and on to his unique and "quirky" life in Washington, D.C. Jeffords, she said, unexpectedly coughed up some intriguing documents relating to President Ronald Reagan and the "October Surprise." It became a juicy separate chapter, she said. And there are a few more surprises. Bet you didn't know CM' Jeezum came within a whisker of getting killed in the Jonestown Massacre. True story. Back in 1978, Rep. Jeffords of Vermont was best buddies with Rep. Leo Ryan of California. They started on the Hill together in the first post-Watergate class elected in 1974. Rep. Ryan was heading to the jungle of Northwest Guyana on a fact-finding missiion to determine just what former Bay-area preacher Jim Jones was up to. There were allegations that members of Rev. Jones' People's Temple were being held against their will and even tortured. Ryan invited his pal Jeezum Jim along because he wanted a lawyer on the trip. Jeffords was all set to depart when a staffer asked, "What does this have to do with Vermont?" Good question. Jeffords unpacked, and Ryan and his delegation were gunned down on the grass runway a couple days later as they tried to leave with People's Temple defectors. Rev. Jones then led 912 of his followers — men, women and children — in a mass suicide. Death by Kool-Aid. Since then, the question, "What has this got to do with Vermont?" has become a pretty good measuring stick for Mr. Jeffords. Media Notes — The Ch. 3 news team is down to just one Kristin. The blonde is staying, but the redhead is leaving. Reporter Kristin Kelly, a Massachusetts native, is moving onward and upward to New England Cable News in Boston. Ms. Kelly's been at Ch. 3 for six years and won kudos this winter for her top-notch Statehouse coverage. Very classy dame. She'll be missed. Kristin Carlson remains on board as the station's environmental reporter. ®

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sOUnd AdviCe WEDNESDAY

IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC.

NO 'STRANGER' The original country-music outlaw, Texan Willie Nelson has told the stories of the South for five decades. A songwriting talent beyond categorization, he has collaborated with everyone from George Jones to Kid Rock. The self-proclaimed "hillbilly from Hill Country" was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1993. Nelson comes north, to Manchester's Riley Rink, this Thursday. Young country star Lee Ann Womack opens.

PINE ST. JAZZ ENSEMBLE, Parima, 7 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. WFBEBOP (jazz quintet), Liquid Lounge, 9 p.m. NC. SONNY & PERLEY (international cabaret), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), Ri R£ Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. OZ-MODIAX (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. PORK TORNADO (groove-jam), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/JIMMY JAMS, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. '80S NIGHT (DJs), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. NC/$5. 18+ before 11p.m.

DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop/reggae), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7, 18+

KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SCHMOOZE (hip-hop/acid jazz w/DJs Infinite & Melo Grant), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC. TANTO METRO & DEVONTE, T.O.K., SEAN PAUL, LEXUS (dancehall; VP Reggae Gold Tour), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $18/20. 18+ KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE,

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. OXONOISE & FRIENDS (rock), Rozzi's, 7 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/DAVID HARRISON,

Bayside Pavilion, 8 p.m. NC. LADIES' NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/WALKER GARDNER,

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Middle Earth Music Hall, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

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CULT CLASSIC

Graham Parker has been one of rock's most consistently renegade singer-songwrit-

ers for three decades. Having recorded for all but one major label, he's seen the underbelly of the corporate music biz and lived to tell about it. From angry young man to seasoned vet, Parker has reflected his experiences in sharp, revealing songs and acerbic wit. He returns to Burlington this Saturday at Club Metronome. COLD COUNTRY BLUEGRASS, City Park, Barre, 7 p.m. NC. AA

THURSDAY

STAN (acoustic pop), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. QUEEN CITY ROCK, POOF (DJs Chia & Elliott, DJ Naomi G.), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. NC. BIG JOE BURRELL (jazz-blues), Halvorson's, 7 p.m. NC. JEREMY HARPLE (bluegrass), Liquid Lounge, 9:30 p.m. NC. ELLEN POWELL & T.J. THOMPSON (jazz), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. LIVE ACOUSTIC SERIES W/MIKE CUSIMANO & SUSANNAH MAGEE, Ri R£ Irish Pub, 8 p.m. NC. VORCZA TRIO (funk-jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DYSFUNKSHUN, LAMBSBREAD (rap-metal, reggae), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. NC. CONCENTRIC (live electronica), Nectar's, 10 p.m. NC. LADIES NIGHT W/DJIRIE (hiphop/r&b), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. NC/$5.

weekly

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m.NC. 18+ REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. PUSHBACK (jazz), Waiting Room,

10 p.m. NC. BLUE JEWEL LIGHT (folkadelic), Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 6:30 p.m. NC. GRIPPO FUNK BAND W/EYE OH YOU, VOICE (funk, live hiphop/drum 'n' bass) Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $8. 18+ KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/DAVID HARRISON, Sami's Harmony Pub, 8 p.m. NC. KENNETH FOX (DJ), Bayside Pavilion, 6 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Kept Writer, 7 p.m. Donations. AA KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. DJ ROB JONES, Rick's Caf6, 6 p.m. NC. PEAK ENTERTAINMENT W/95XXX, Naked Turtle Holding Co., 9 p.m. NC. PILOT (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Otter Creek Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

listings

OPEN JAM W/ALIZA'S MISERY, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN JAM (blues/funk/rock), Ashley's, 9 p.m. NC. LEWIS FRANCO (singer-songwriter), Maple Corner Community Center, Calais, 7 p.m. NC. RICK CEBALLOS (singer-songwriter; Third Thursday Celebration), City Hall Plaza, Montpelier, 5 p.m. NC. AA NINJA TURTLES, THE FRONT LINE (punk; Third Thursday Celebration), Pocket Park, Crist Church, 5:30 p.m. NC. AA SHIDEA CULTURAL DRUM & DANCE COMPANY (African dance; Third Thursday Celebration), Langdon Street, Montpelier, 6 p.m. NC. AA DAVE MALLETT (folk), Middle Earth Music Hall, 8 p.m. $18.90. TNT KARAOKE, Farr's Roadhouse, 8 p.m. $2-5. OPEN MIKE, Montpelier Community Coffee House, Rhapsody Main Street, 7 p.m. Donations. WILLIE NELSON, LEE ANN WOM-

URBAN FLAVORS (DJ), Liquid Lounge, 7 p.m. NC. CRAIG HUROWITZ (singer-songwriter), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE DJ, RI Rei Irish Pub, 10 p.m. NC.

JULIET MCVICKER (jazz vocals), Red Square, 6 p.m. NC, followed by AFROSKULL (funk), 10 p.m. NC. ITATION SOUND SYSTEM (reggae DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. STRAY DOGS (rock), Nectar's, 10 p.m. NC.

LION'S DEN HI-FI SOUND SYSTEM (reggae DJs), Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Rasputin's, 6 p.m. NC, followed by TOP HAT DJ, 10 p.m. NC/$2. FUSION (hip-hop/reggae/dance; DJs Robbie J . & Toxic), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ (Top 40), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. BOB GAGNON TRIO (jazz), Waiting Room, 6 p.m. NC, followed by DJ A-DOG (lounge/acid jazz), 10:30 p.m. NC. TRINITY (Celtic rollick), Biltmore Grille, 8:30 p.m. NC. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST (bluesrock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/ urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3.

THE CARLOS PROJECKT (punk), The Space, 6 p.m. $5. AA

ACK (country; benefit for Jonathan Levin Scholarship Fund, The Riley Rink & the Smokey House Center), Riley Rink, 7 p.m. $30-60.

continued on page 4 0 a

www.sevendaysvt.com

I h l f e to g a Angela's Pub, 86 Main St. Middlebury, 388-6936. / : "" . *'.; Ashley's, Merchant's Row, Randolph, 728-9182. A Taste of Dixie, 8 W. Canal St., Winooski, 655-7977. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St, Essex Jet, 878-5494. . Boonys Grille, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St, Burlington, 865-2711. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St, Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Pete's, 7 Fayette Rd., S. Burlington, 863-1138. \ ; Cambridge Coffeehouse, Dinners Dunn Restaurant, Jeffersonville, 644-5721. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. CB's The Party Place, 26 Susie Wilson Rd., Essex Jet, 878-5522. , 'i Charlie O's, 70 Main St.. Montpelier, 223-6820. "r' ' Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St, Burlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Compost Art Center, 39 Main St.. Hardwick, 472-9613. The Daily Planet, 15 Center St., Burlington, 862-9647. Downtown Bistro, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Farr's Roadhouse, Rt 2, Waterbury, 244-4053. The Fish House, Rt. 12 & Cox Brook Rd., Noithfield Falls, 485-7577. Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 Main St, Burlington, 863-5966. » Franny O's 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Geno's Karaoke Club, 127 Porters Point Road, Colchester, 658-2160. G Stop, 38 Main St., St Albans, 524-7777. ;... Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. . • "r Heartwood Hollow Gallery Stage, 7650 Main Rd., Hanksville, 434-5830/888-212-1142. Hector's, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361; Higher Ground, 1 Main St, Winooski, 654-8888. The Hungry Lion, 1145 Rt 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5848. J. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St, Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St, Burlington, 658-6389. The Kept Writer, 5 Lake St, St. Albans, 527-6242. Kincade's, Rt 7, Milton, 893-4649. Knickers Cafi, Sugarbush Golf Course Clubhouse, Warren, 583-6723. Leunig's, 115 Church St, Burlington, 863-3759. Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 Park St., Essex Jet', 878-3309. Lion's Den Pub, Mountain Road, Jeffersonville, 644-5567. Liquid Lounge, Liquid Energy, 57 Church St., Burlington. 860-7666. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt 100, Waltsfield, 496-2562. Mad River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt 100, Waitsfield, 496-8910. Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 Main St, Burlington, 658-6776. ; ^ Mary's at Baldwin Creek, 1668 Rt 116, Bristol, 453-2432. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Millennium Nightclub, 165 Church St, Burlington, 660-2088. :~ : r Monopole, 7 Protection Ave., Pittsburgh, N.Y., 518-563-2222. Muddy Waters, 184 Main St, Burlington, 658-0466. Music Box, 147 Creek Rd., Craftsbury Village, 586-7533. Naked Turtle, 1 Dock St, Pittsburgh, 518-566-6200. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Old Lantern, Greenbush Rd., Charlotte, 425-2120. Otter Creek Tavern, 35c Green St, Vergennes, 877-3667. Parima's Jazz Room, 185 Pearl St, Burlington, 864-7917. Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. The Pour House, 1900 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-3653. Radio Bean, 8 N. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 660-9346. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St, Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St, Burlington, 865-^144. Rick's Italian Cafi, 1233 Shelburne Rd. (formerly Jake's), S. Burlington, 658-2251. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt 125, 388-9782. Ri Rd the Irish Pub, 123 Church St, Burlington, 860-9401. Rozzi's Lakeshore Tavern, 1072 West Lakeshore Dr., Colchester, 863-2342. Ruben James, 159 Main St, Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Naif, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sami's Harmony Pub, 216 Rt 7, Milton, 893-7267. Sh-Na-Na's, 101 Main St, Burlington, 865-2596. The Space, 182 Battery St, Burlington, 865-4554. St. John's Club, 9 Central Ave., Burlington, 864-9778. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St, Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. 242 Main, Burlington, 862-2244. Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Valencia, Pearl St. & S. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 658-8978. Vergennes Opera House, 120 Main St, Vergennes, 888-779-7664. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. The Village Cup, 30 Rt 15, Jericho, 899-1730. The Waiting Room, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 862-3455. Wine Bar at Wine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington, 951-9463.

Peter,i^jary In Concert with at Riley Rink / Hunter Park

08NHJP0IN1

Rte. 7a, Manchester, Vermont

THURSDAY TflRliXS! Karaoke

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wit6 Bob!! Play Beirat o i l t B e Dec]^!! A Birthday Celebration In Honor of Robert De Cormier

Saturday, July 20, 2002 7:30 p.m.

Reserved Seating: $45 General Admission Sealing: $35 Lawn Seating: $15 Children under 5 are free on the lawn Tickets are available in person at Riley Rink Box Office or anyTickermasrer outlet, online at www,ticketmasrer.com or by phone at(802)862-5300 Proudly Sponsored by

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17, 2002

SEVEN DAYS

page 39a

j AM G R A S S FEATURING

DAVID GRISMAN QUINTET

S A M BUSH BAND JORMA KAUKONEN PETER ROWAN JOHN COWAN BAND NOTRE DAME DE GRACE

ONE MAIN ST. • WINOOSKI • INFO 654-8888 DOORS 8 PM • SHOW 8 PM unless noted ALL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE I.D. unless noted WEDNESDAY, JULY 17 • $18 ADVANCE $20 DAY OF SHOW VP REGGAE GOLD TOUR

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TOM TOM CLUB

AARON KATZ PROJECT FRIDAY, AUGUST 2 • $17 ADVANCE $20 DAY OF SHOW

BETH ORTON HEM, A L E X L L Y O D FRIDAY, AUGUST 9 • $7 21+ $918+ THE 7TH ANNUAL

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page 40a

(self-released, CD) It doesn't take a huge nocturnal commitment to notice the dominance of Eye Oh You's residency at the Church St. bar Red Square. Starting last winter, the Burlington trio of DJ ADog, MC Fattie B. and MC Konflik began hosting the weekly gigs as a spin-off from their work with saxophonist Dave Grippo. Pioneering the emergence of a local live hip-hop scene, the gigs have grown into one of the most popular nights on the calendar. So it's fitting that Eye Oh You's first release is a live album composed of recordings from the very nights that spawned this scene. Recorded to minidisc at shows from March 21 through May 30, Just a Typical Red Square Thursdays 16 tracks serve as both a historical rendering of the group's growth and a portrayal of its members' skill as live performers. Limited to 100 copies, the record will only be pressed once. When volume 1 disappears, the group will be ready with Volume 2. Eye Oh You have admirably crafted this album so it flows as if the recordings were taken from a single performance. Recorded from the soundboard, the mix includes a bare minimum of crowd noise. While this creates a crystal-clear recording, it lacks the rowdy atmosphere that accompanies the group's shows. But Red Square isn't the easiest venue in which to record. Even on the best nights,

the majority of patrons are more interested in jumping the line to the bathroom or grabbing another beer than in what's taking place on stage. However, the lack of audience interaction leaves the record feeling less like a "typical Thursday" and more like it could have been recorded anywhere. That said, the music on the album is solid. Hip-hop doesn't always translate well live, yet Eye Oh You are as tight and connected as any "traditional" band. Fattie B. and Konflik trade verses over most tracks, while A-Dog lays down his signature lounge-hop beats. On occasion, one member of the group steals the spotlight ("Konflik," "A-Dog Returns"), but on most tracks the three function as a seamless whole. Atmospheric or not, the album's chilled-out, downtempo vibe, along with the MC's lyrical prowess, works as a testament to Eye Oh You's skill as a live group, and is a reminder of where the hottest Thursdays in Burlington are taking place. Eye Oh You continue their Red Square dates all summer, but if you want to catch them away from home, head to Higher Ground this Thursday as they perform with the Grippo Funk Band and Voice. — Ethan Covey

able again. Mining the '80s for inspiration on their new CD, The Cost of Living, Andrew Paley (voice and guitar), Marie Whiteford (keyboards), Adam Meilleur (bass) and Bobby Hackney (drums) sidestep aggression and angst in favor of passion, and trade in bombast for majesty. The best part is that it works. The sound is clean and fresh, the songs solid and catchy and don't rely on aural nostalgia. Some listeners swear that Paley s voice is a dead ringer for the Psychedelic Furs' Richard Butler and, while it's hard to deny, I don't think we should get too hung up on comparisons just yet. Of course, some readers might want to know that you can hear hints of the aforementioned Furs, New Order/Joy Division and The Cure, among others, during a trip through the album. It's a good marriage of synthetic textures and real feeling. Three cheers for teamwork! Hackney's solid drumming is a refreshing alternative to the drum machines you might expect to find on a modern synth-pop record, and it is a perfect counterpoint to Meilleur and Whiteford's delicious bass and keyboard lines. There is a certain New Order-liness to them, by which I mean that they are often simple and catchy as all getout. Paley's heartfelt and smoky/ worn singing is complemented by his lyrics and melody choices. At his best, certain lines seem to soar, but even when some phrases tend towards cliche — such as a couple

in the song "Glitter" — they are still charming and buoyed by strong melody. In addition, Paley's guitar playing is understated and elegant, alternating between simple note choices and fuzzy synthetic distorted chords. There's not a bad song here, but I have to recommend "The Blackout" and "Augustine" in particular, since I often catch myself singing them. "Madeline" and "Mother Mercy" are also lodged firmly in my brain. The instrumental passages are just as good as the verses and choruses, and that doesn't happen very often. I love this line in "Porcelain": "half a million people might as well be you." I really dig "The Echoes Upstairs": "He dresses up and he regrets/ every word she said." These sentiments are delivered with the kind of weight that makes you believe they're the most important thing in the world — at least temporarily. I love melodrama that can stand up to scrutiny. This is a record that can make you swoon and dance around the room at the same time, channeling darkness and heartbreak and making it cool to feel sensitive and artistic again. Highly recommended for heavy rotation. If you're just looking for an '80s revival nostalgia trip, you'll probably love this, too, though I don't think that's the point here. It's just the cost of living. — Colin Clary

THE STATIC

THE STATIC AGE, THE COST OF LIVING (Primary Records, CD) — The Static Age have found a way to make darkness romantic and frustration and hope dance-

M3!A3JSM3iA3JSM3!A3JSM3iA3i SM3!A3JSM3!A3JSM3jA3J Rhythm & News will return next week.

continued from page 39a STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS (honky-tonk rockabilly), Breakwater Caf6, 6 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard),

St. John's Club, 8 p.m. NC. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. PICTURE THIS (jazz), Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC. LIVE DJ, A Taste of Dixie, 10 p.m. NC. MR. FRENCH (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. KARAOKE W/PETER B0ARDMAN,

Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. WIZN BAR & GRILL (live radio show), Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 p.m. NC, followed by DJ SUPERSOUNDS (dance party), 9 p.m. NC. LATINO DANCE PARTY, CB's The Party Place, 9:30 p.m. $5.

SEVEN DAYS * july 17, 2 0 0 2

Band name of the week: Frankly My Deer

KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC.

LISA SCHNECKENBURGER (contra dance), Middle Earth Music Hall,

REV. NATHAN BRADY CRAIN (raunchy, humorous folk), Kept Writer, 7 p.m. Donations. AA

8 0 8 4 (rock), Farr's Roadhouse, 9 p.m. $2-5. PRIZMA (Latin jazz), J . Morgan's, 7 p.m. NC. BLUE FOX (blues), Charlie O's, 10 p.m. NC.

GIVEN GROOVfe (funk-rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DREAMWEAVER (DJ), G Stop, 9 p.m. NC.

8 p.m. $10.50.

EAST COAST MUSCLE (blues-rock), Bayside Pavilion, 9 p.m. $3. FREEBEERANDCHICKEN (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. SOUTH JUNCTION (rock), Naked Turtle Holding Co., 9:30 p.m. $1. THE HITMEN (rock), Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC.

LAMBSBREAD (reggae), Matterhorn,

DAN PARKS & THE BLAME (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. TOAST (rock), Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC.

9 p.m. $3/5/6. DJ NEWTON WELLS (dance), The Brewski, 9 p.m. NC. GREY FOX BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL W/RICKY SKAGGS & KENTUCKY THUNDER, NATALIE MACMASTER, DEL MCC0URY BAND & MORE, Rothvoss Farm, Ancramdale, NY, 11 a.m. $40/120. AA

SATURDAY

LADYBUGS (bohemian folk), Radio Bean, 9:30 p.m. NC. TASTE W/DJ CRAIG MITCHELL (progressive house), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. TURKEY BOUILLON MAFIA, THE ADMINISTRATOR (groove/hip-hop), Halvorson's, 10 p.m., $3. ROBERT WUAGNEUX (singer-songwriter), Starbucks, 3 p.m. NC. AA FAMILY DOG (jam), Liquid Lounge, 9 p.m. NC. DARRYL PURPOSE (singer-songwriter), Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. $8. AA NOBBY REED PROJECT (blues), Ri Ra Irish Pub, 10 p.m. $3. TODD DEATHERAGE (roots rock), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC.

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July 22-25

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White River Jct.-Hanover SMOKING GUN (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. GRAHAM PARKER (rock singer-songwriter), Club Metronome, 8 p.m. $12, followed by RETRONOME ('70s'80s DJ), 10 p.m. $2. FLASHBACK ('80s Top Hat DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. CLUB MIX (hip-hop/house; DJs Irie, Robbie J . & Toxic), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m.

DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LEON TUBBS (jazz/funk), Waiting Room, 10:30 p.m. NC. REGANOMICS, FIGHT BACK, SPIES IN AMERICA,. DEAD BY DAWN, AVERAGE JOE (punk/hardcore), The Space, ,, 7 p.m. $5. AA

JO SALLINS (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. HOLLYWOOD FRANKIE (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3. MANSFIELD PROJECT (rock), Breakwater Caf6, 6 p.m. NC. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. MR. FRENCH (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. GRAVELIN BROS, (rock), Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC.

GIVEN GROOVE (funk-rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/DAVID HARRISON, Sami's Harmony Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/BONNIE DRAKE,

Kincade's, 9 p.m. NC. LAURA BRERETON (singer-songwriter), Kept Writer, 7 p.m. Donations. AA EAST COAST MUSCLE (blues-rock), Bayside Pavilion, 9 p.m. $3. FREEBEERANDCHICKEN (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. SOUTH JUNCTION (rock), Naked Turtle Holding Co., 9:30 p.m. $1. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. RICK'S SUMMER BASH W/TOP HAT DJ ROB JONES (classic rock; prizes), Rick's Caf6, 6 p.m. NC. JAMGRASS FESTIVAL W/DAVID GRISMAN QUARTET, SAM BUSH BAND, JORMA KAUKONEN, PETER ROWAN,

JOHN COWAN BAND, NOTRE DAME DE GRACE (bluegrass, folk), Shelburne Museum, 2 p.m. $40/NC. AA FAIR MELODIES (Celtic; Art Edelstein & Tim Newcomb), The Music Box, 8 p.m. $6. MADD MIX ENTERTAINMENT (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS, DAVE KELLER BAND, LEWIS FRANCO (honkytonk rockabilly, blues-rock, singersongwriter), Hunger Mountain Co-op, Montpelier, 3 p.m. NC. AA SANDRA WRIGHT BAND (r&b/blues), Middle Earth Music Hall, 8 p.m. $10.50. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Farr's Roadhouse, 9 p.m. $2-5. JOSH BROOKS (singer-songwriter), The Boony's, 7 p.m. NC. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST (blues-rock), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3/5/6. GREY FOX BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL W/RICKY SKAGGS & KENTUCKY THUNDER, NATALIE MACMASTER, DEL MCCOURY BAND & MORE, Rothvoss Farm, Ancramdale, NY, 2 p.m. $45/120. AA

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<< EXCLUSIVE

SUNDAY

LAURA BRETON & LOIS TROMBLEY (singer-songwriters), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. MATTHEW RUBY (singer-songwriter), Borders, 3 p.m. NC. AA LIVE HIP-HOP, Liquid Lounge, 8 p.m. NC.

JENNI JOHNSON (jazz vocals), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC. LIVE CELTIC MUSIC, Ri Ra Irish Pub, 5 p.m. NC.

AUGUSTA BROWN (funk-groove), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. TEEN NITE W/DJ ROBBIE J (dance), Millennium Nightclub, 8 p.m. $10. Ages 13-19. HIP-HOP DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+

DAYVE HUCKETT (jazz), Waiting Room, 6 p.m. NC.

continued on page 4 2 a

mountain road, stowe • 253-NAIL • rustynailsaloon.com july 17, 2 0 0 2

SEVEN DAYS

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SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Breakwater Cafe, 6 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST (blues-rock), Naked Turtle Holding Co., 6 p.m. NC. VORCZA (funk-jazz), Daily Bread, 8 p.m. $5. AA GREY FOX BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL W/RICKY SKAGGS & KENTUCKY THUNDER, NATALIE MACMASTER, DEL MCCOURY BAND & MORE, Rothvoss Farm, Ancramdale, NY, 10:30 p.m. $15/120. AA

MONDAY

OPEN MIKE, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. QUEEN CITY ROCK (DJs Chia & Elliot) 6 TOUCH (DJ Mirror), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. NC/$2. JUNGLE TIKI LOUNGE W/TRICKY PAT (lounge groove), Liquid Lounge, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Ri RS Irish Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. NEW YOUNG BAND SHOWCASE, Nectar's, 8 p.m. NC. CANDY STRIPER DEATH ORGY, PRISONER 13, ASSEMBLE THE REMAINS, GOREHAMMER, INFANTIFAGLIA (punk/hardcore; Big Heavy World Spine Church series), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $5. AA OPEN MIKE, Sami's Harmony Pub, 7 p.m. NC. JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow! Bella, 6:30 p.m. NC. FREDDIE MCGREGOR, SELECTOR MESZENJAH (reggae, dancehall DJ), Rusty Nail, 8 p.m. $15.

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TUESDAY

GREG IZOR BLUES TRIO, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Liquid Lounge, sign-ups 8 p.m. NC. PAUL ASBELL & CLYDE STATS (jazz), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. Donations. AA PUB QUIZ (trivia game w/prizes), Ri R&, 8:30 p.m. NC. OPEN JAM W/JIM BRANCA, Nectar's, 9 p.m. NC. BEATS & PIECES W/DJ A-DOG (hiphop/beats), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC.

s o u n d s l i k e . •.

page 4 2 a

SEVEN DAYS

july 17, 2 0 0 2

TEEN NITE W/DJ KWIK (dance), Millennium Nightclub, 8 p.m. $10. Ages 13-19. TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m.

$2/6. 18+

0X0N0ISE (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. TWR HOUSE SOUNDS (DJ; beats/ lounge), Waiting Room, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), Hector's, 9 p.m. NC. LETTUCE, VORCZA (jazz-funk), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $10/12. 18+ PAUL DOUSE/MARK ABAIR/PHlLONEOUS PHIL (acoustic trio), Sami's Harmony Pub, 7:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Cactus Pete's, 9 p.m. NC.

WEDNESDAY

IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC. PINE ST. JAZZ ENSEMBLE, Parima, 7 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard),, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. WEBEBOP (jazz quintet), Liquid Lounge, 9 p.m. NC. JULIET MCVICKER, TOM CLEARY & JOHN RIVERS (jazz vocals), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), Ri RS Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. 0Z-M0DIAX (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. PORK TORNADO (groove-jam), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/JIMMY JAMS, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. •80S NIGHT (DJs), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. NC/$5. 18+ before 11p.m. DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop/reggae), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SCHMOOZE (hip-hop/acid jazz w/DJs Infinite & Melo Grant), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. 0X0N0ISE & FRIENDS (rock), Rozzi's, 7 p.m. NC. LADIES' NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Middle Earth Music Hall, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. SHERRI'S JUBILEE (country), City Park, Barre, 7 p.m. NC. AA ®

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SEVEN D A Y S ^ p a g e "s[

tt'j-ziw

TALL TALES Bristol artist John Gemignani sees things other people don't see. Or at least he ATLANTIC CROSSING - THURSDAY,

July

Traditional

Celtic

creates them. Come to think of it,

THINK GLOBALLY, DANCE LOCALLY

that's a good definition of an artist.

Music, Dancing, Picnics & the greatest sunsets in all of New England

Thursdays July 18 - August 8, Free! 7pm-till dusk at the band shell in Battery Park.

Gemignani's canvases combine stylized realism, black-bordered figures

July 25 B O S T O N H O R N S R&B, funk;, soul & jazz Aug. 1 Los D I A B L O S The Kings of Irish-Jewish, fofk-punk Aug. 8 C H R O M E C O W B O Y S ctassic country covers

and line drawings, iconic images and abstract atmospheres, not to mention

Presented by: Pepsi Sponsored by: The Point WNCS 104.7 • KelJitlSf Samets Vbtk New Horizons Computer Learning Centers * Eyes of the World

humor, leaving the viewer with something to ponder. His current exhibit

For more information: Burlington City Arts 865-7166

at Doll-Anstadt Gallery in

T H I S FALL A T B U R L I N G T O N

COLLEGE Burlington is aptly titled "Private Stories. "Pictured, "The Spark."

call to artists

The Galant Gallery seeks emerging and established artists in painting, photography and sculpture to exhibit and sell. Call 978-745-1001 for an appointment, or send photos/ slides/info to: 197 Derby St., Salem, MA 01970.

NEW ACADEMIC MAJORS • Inter-American Cultural and Development Studies • Legal and Justice Studies

NEW COURSES & WORKSHOPS • Independent Film Production Workshop • Andean History, Culture and Environment • Compassion: A Cross-Cultural Examination of Love and Kindness Enlightened Living: An Introduction to Tibetan Living • Printmaking • Intersession trip to Ecuador Short Fiction: A Critical and Creative Approach to Stories • Awakening to Spirit • Family Patterns and Dynamics • Western Spiritual Traditions • Person and Planet: An Archetypal Perspective • Music Therapy Workshop • American Genres II: Gangsters, Horror, Science Fiction • Italian Cinema • Intermediate Photography • and many more! • C a l l 862-9616 for your free fall 2002 Burlington College Course Bulletin! 95 North Avenue Burlington, Vermont 862-9616 or 1-800-862-9616 www.burlingtoncollege.edu page 4 4 a

SEVEN DAYS * july 17, 2 0 0 2

openings

TREE ART, an outdoor installation created by students in Kate Hodges' environmental art class. Burlington College, 862-9616. Reception July 17, 5-7 p.m. BOLD EXPRESSIONS, paintings by 5 Dorothy Martinez. Green Mountain Fine Art Gallery, Stowe, 253-1818. Reception July 19, 6-8 p.m. GARDENS HERE & BEYOND, Vermont paintings by the late Eleanor B. Daniels. Amy E. Tarrant Gallery, Flynn Center, Burlington, 652-4500. Reception with the artist's family July 20, 2-4 p.m.

talks & SHAWN WILLIAMSON, a master stone mason and sculptor, demonstrates and lectures on his work Wednesday evenings through July 31. Carving Studio & Sculpture Center, W. Rutland, 438-2097. Call for times. ART ON THE LAWN, featuring the work of local artists, will be presented in the front yard of the Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Saturdays in July, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m.

ongoing

BURLINGTON AREA

SUMMER SHOW, watercolors by Sal Contreras. Chittenden Bank lobby, Burlington, 864-1557. Through August. REBECCA MACK, works in color photography and collage. Muddy Waters, Burlington, 658-0466. Through July. ABSTRACT SCULPTURES IN STEEL WIRE

by Jake Rifken. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Through August. JESSICA RENEE, mixed-media paintings, and CHARLIE MESSING, ink drawings. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144. Through July 30. EVERYTHING MUST GO, graphic design, painting and installation by David Powell that examine corporatization and commodification; and mixed-media works by Eric Kidhardt that glorify and parody the promise of science and technology. Flynndog Gallery, Burlington, 865-9292. Through August 11. CONDITIONS OF LIGHT AND SPIRIT, photo montages by John Churchman. Art's Alive Gallery at Union Station, Burlington, 864-1557. Through July. WOVEN METALS, jewelry and wall pieces by sculptor/designer David Paul Bacharach. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through July. ANNE GILMAN, mixed media paintings. Church & Maple Gallery, Burlington, 863-3880. Through July 29. PRIVATE STORIES, oil paintings by John Gemignani. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through July. TELL ME A STORY, an exhibition featuring Vermont children's book illustrators Anne Hunter, Bonnie Christensen, Amy Huntington, Tracey

Campbell Pearson, Phoebe Stone and Vladimir Vagin. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Burlington, 8636458. Through September 15. SIGHT AND SOUL, mixed-media paintings by Tinka Theresa Martell and photographs by Gary Reid. Rose Street Artists' Cooperative, Burlington, 862-5591. Through July. JOHANNE M. DUROCHER, watercolors from the sunflower series and other works. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 865-6227. Through July. NELLY BONFIGLI, new work. Sneakers Bistro, Winooski, 655-9081. Through July. SUMMER PORCH, handmade prints from a forthcoming book by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through September 3. SIGHT AND SOUL, photographs by Gary Reid and paintings by Tinka Theresa Martell. Rose Street Artists' Cooperative, Burlington, 862-5591. Through July.

KINETIC REFLECTIVE SCULPTURES by Herbert Leff. Cathedral Church of St. Paul, Burlington, 864-0471. Through July. SHADES OF SUMMER, a group show featuring 15 local artists in multiple media. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through July 30. SHIPYARD ARCHEOLOGY, large-scale photographs by Liza Cowan. Art Space 150 at the Men's Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Through July. ART'S ALIVE 16TH ANNUAL FESTIVAL OF FINE ARTS, continuing with an outdoor sculpture exhibit at S.T. Griswold in Williston, 864-1557. Through August.

COLLECTED WASHERS, a mixed-media installation by Ed Owre and Stephen Trull, with selected pieces from Gerrit

endaysvt.com

Gollner and Allison Schlegel. One Wall Gallery, Seven Days, Burlington, 864-5684. Through July. PRINTS FROM THE VERMONT STUDIO CENTER PRESS, featuring recent monoprints, through August 25. Also, VOLKSWAGENBALL, a new spheroid in the ongoing sculptural creations of LarsErik Fisk, through August 4. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. THE COLLECTOR'S HOUSE, a new building envisioning the home of a 21stcentury foik art collector, designed by architect Adam Kalkin and decorated by Albert Hadley, through October 2003. Also, AMERICAN WANDERLUST: TAKING TO THE ROAD IN THE 20TH CENTURY, an exhibit of vintage and brand-new recreational vehicles, road memorabilia and souvenirs, designer Colemans, a video installation and interactive family activities; GRANDMA MOSES, paintings, prints and drawings back by popular demand, in the .Webb Gallery; FOLK ART TRADITIONS IN AMERICA: 80 pieces of folk art return to the restored Stagecoach Inn after a national tour, with new acquisitions-, and FROM SOUP TO NUTS: PREPARING AND PRESENTING FOOD 1700-1830, featuring place settings and meals illustrating the relationship between American and European foodways, all through October 27. Shelburne Museum, 985-3348.

VERMONT FURNITURE: A TRADITION OF EXCELLENCE, featuring works by 12 members of the Guild of Vermont Furniture Makers, from a Shaker chair to an abalone-inlaid table. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 3882117. Through September 2. LANDSCAPES OF THE NORTHEAST, oil paintings by Thatcher Moats. In the Alley Bookshop, Middlebury, 3882743. Through August 15. NEW WORKS, featuring paintings on canvas by Elena Peabody, monotypes by Susan Smereka, clay works by Kathy Clarke-Clay and furniture by Dale Helms, through July 29. Also, an installation of concrete and wood sculptures by Ann Young, through the fall. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 877-9291. BIRDS OF CLAY, ceramic work with avian imagery by potters around the country. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Middlebury, 388-3177. Through August 11. ART ON MAIN, a community art center and gallery featuring art and crafts in many.media by local artists and artisans. Deerleap Books Building, Bristol, 453-5684. Ongoing. SABRA FIELD: ABSTRACT REALIST, a retrospective exhibit of 78 woodcuts and Iris prints by one of Vermont's most renowned and beloved artists. Middlebury College of Art, 4435007. Through August 11.

TREEFORMS, featuring folk-art sculptures and other artifacts from junk wood or misshapen tree parts by Gustaf Hertzberg, Jim Bushey, Kevin Matthews and Stan Neptune and Joe Dana. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through September 7.

THE RED DRESS SERIES, oil-on-board and mixed-media paintings by Janet Van Fleet. Supreme Court Lobby, Montpelier, 828-4784. July 22 August 23. ABSTRACT EXPRESSIONIST WORKS by European and American artists, and VERMONT ARTISTS in painting, photography and sculpture. Bundy Gallery, Waitsfield, 496-5055. Ongoing. JESSE AHEE, pastels inspired by Stonehenge. Montpelier City Hall Art Space, 229-9416. WHIMSIED, humorous sculptures and paintings by Susan Cronin, Kate Hartley, Robin Kent, Ray Perry and Don Wynn. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Through August 18. THOMAS BEALE, sculpture using natural elements. Carving Studio & Sculpture Center, West Rutland, 438-2097. Through August 11. OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE AND FOR THE PEOPLE, an annual exhibit with VSA Arts of Vermont making art accessible to all in the community. Featuring two- and three-dimensional works by Rosalyn Driscoll, Marcy Hermansader, Lucio Carusi, John Hanna and Andrew Potok in the Main Gallery; digital photography by Ian Schepler in the Ivy Caf6-Bakery; and paintings by Mike Gurteke in the 3rd Floor Gallery. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7069. Through July 27. DRAWING RESISTANCE, a traveling exhibit of political art, focusing on such issues as anti-globalization, working-class rights, ecology and more. Institute for Social Ecology, Plainfield, 454-8493. Through August 15. SANDRA ERSHOW, watercolor and pastel paintings. Karen Kitzmiller Room, Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 244-6648. Through July. VEILED GUARDIANS, CAPTURED SPIRITS, paintings by Ochazania Klarich. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 244-8522. Through July 22. ADAMANT MUSIC SCHOOL COLLECTION: HONORING THE SCHOOL'S 60 YEARS, featuring 37 woodblock prints by 19th-century Japanese artist Utagawa Hiroshige, Main Gallery; and A SENSE OF PERMANENCE, selected works from the permanent collection, South

continued on page 46a

FourScore

BY M A R C AWODEY

he current exhibition of "recent works" by four Vermont artists at the Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild couldn't be more diverse. The artists — Susan Smereka, Kathy Clark, Dale Helms and Elena Peabody — work in printmaking, ceramics, furniture design and painting, respectively, and the quality is high all around. The 11 untitled monotypes by Susan Smereka are airy abstractions that sometimes utilize the imprints of screen or cloth to provide a textural field. One of these is black and white with a rectangular swatch of burlap imprinted in the center. An imprint of looped string makes fine lines over the coarse material, and the central rectangle is surrounded by a field of fine splatters, like the negative image of a field of stars. A red-orange piece is covered with the imprint of a finely meshed screen. Smereka has again used string to create a sinewy line over a woven texture, and a few dark blotches over the screen punctuate the red-orange. Kathy Clarke's ceramics include functional items along with a group of cast Buddha figures that seem to be basic production pieces. But she also pre"Portrait of a sents many inventive sculptural works, which are her best pieces. "The Couple" is part of a series of small ceramic sculptures of abstract figures with soft, shrouded features. This work has two such figures joined at the base; the left figure has a dark glaze, the right a crackled white glaze.

Helms also refers to a Japanese sensibility with his paduke and maple coffee table. Its legs have the gently swept curves of certain varieties of fuzukue, or small writing desks. The elegance of Japanese design is a wonderful resource for Helms to examine. Peabody's oil-painting technique is simple yet effective. She works with only turpentine washes

Box Eider," painting by Elena Peabody and raw paint. Her colors tend toward lighter values, and her aesthetic includes patterning as a key component of her abstraction. "Incoming Storm" portrays a green hillock with red poppylike flowers in the foreground and a bubbling sky of gray, beige and purple storm clouds. The sky is distilled into varied spheres and circular forms; the hill is full of staccato vertical brushstrokes. Peabody's greens are very pale, and the small red flowers are deep crimson.

Although Smereka, Clarke,,r

Helms and Peabody have come

"Portrait of a Box Elder" is an ascending section of gnarled tree trunk placed against a flat gray background. The tree is orange and sienna, outlined with alizarin crimson. Like the sky V in "Incoming Storm," Peabody finds spherical forms in the bark of the tree. The inspiration of this style of patterning is evident in Peabody's largest piece, the roughly 4-by-3-foot "Lily Pad." The painting portrays a female nude with long red hair floating on a pond with lily pads, duckweed and round dabs of color like flower petals. The image is clearly influenced by the languid Art Nouveau figures of Austrian painter Gustav Klimpt. Although Smereka, Clarke, Helms and Peabody have come to the Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild from four different technical directions, they have arrived at the same place: All are equally skilled at producing accessible images that are also engaging pieces of fine art. ®

o the Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild from four different technical

directions, they have arrived at the same place. Another strong sculptural piece is a 2-foot-tall untitled figure. It rises like the trunk of a tree but has no limbs, just a small head on top looking skyward. The glaze is a beautiful reddish-brown and the trunk is textured with gentle depressions over the entire form. Furniture maker Dale Helms has five pieces on display, including a truncated version of a design for a queen-sized bed entitled "Peaceful Dreams." It is basically a shortened headboard and borrows the form of a Shinto arch, the torii. The piece is constructed from cherry and spalted maple, which has black irregularities in its grain.

"New Works," featuring artwork by Kathy Clarke, Dale Helms, Elena Peabody am Susan Smereka, Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild. Through July 29. j u l y 17, 2 0 0 2

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SECOND ANNUAL BURLINGTON WATERFRONT ART AND CRAFT FESTIVAL

26-2N8

FRIDAY to am - 8 pm; SATURDAY & SUNDAY 10 am - 5 pm

• Distinctive j u r i e d objects, jewelry and fashion by

artists and craftspeople from near and far

RIDE THE FREE COLLEGE STREET SHUTTLE!

• Great food & drink plus wine tastings and

culinary

arts demos • A sport painting contest for local artists

Adult admission $6

• Entertainment by fabulous magician Bob Sheets • Music by the Virtual Consort • Special activities f o r the

kids • All on the beautiful Lake Champlain waterfront in V e r m o n t ' s lively Queen City.

HANGING IN THERE It's

not every artist that has been granted.

a patent for their work. But Herb Leffhas — for something called a kinetic reflective visual effects system. A concave reflector in his suspended mixed-media sculptures allows for a constantly changing reflection and endless hours of musing on the transformations, mysteries and illusions of life. Or, you can just enjoy the playful, gyrating works as a child would a mobile. Leff, also a psychology professor at the University of Vermont, has a solo exhibit of works through August 4 at St. Paul's Cathedral.

Gallery. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through July 21. KENNETH P. OCHAB, landscape oil paintings, and works by other Vermont artists Keith Davidson, Kathleen Bergeron, Gertrude Belloso and Joyce Kahn. Goldleaf Gallery, Waitsfield, 279-3824. Ongoing.

NORTHERN

COLOR POEMS, acrylic paintings by Kathy Stark. Brown Library Gallery, Sterling College, Craftsbury Common, 586-9938. July 20 - August 30. ROSALIE O'CONNOR, dance photography. Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Dibden Center, Johnson State College, 635-1390. Through August 4. BLACK AND WHITE PHOTOGRAPHY by Michael Floman, John Miller, Michael Gray and Didi Brush. Tamarack Gallery, East Craftsbury, 586-8078. Through July 25. THE ARTWORK OF RACHEL HOUSEMAN, featuring works in pencil, stained glass, oil and watercolor. Renee's Bistro, Hardwick, 471-3055. Through July 20.

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WATERFRONT PARK, BURLINGTON, VERMONT for more info visit www.craftproducers.com or call

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THE BEAUTIFUL JOURNEY, paintings by Janet McKenzie, Main Gallery, through August 25. Also, DELABOLE SLATE QUARRY AND OTHER PAINTINGS FROM CORNWALL, by Kurt Jackson, West Gallery, through August 15; PHOTOGRAPHS, by Kate Cleghorn, East Gallery, through July 21; and EXPOSED! 2002, an annual outdoor sculpture exhibit throughout the town of Stowe, featuring 16 artists, through October 19. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. ERIC TOBIN, Vermont landscapes in oil, through July. Also, SMALL PICTURE EXHIBITION, featuring works by local, national and Canadian artists, East Gallery, through August 23. Bryan Memorial Art Gallery, Jeffersonville, 644-5100. SALLY GOES TO THE FARM, original woodcuts by Stephen Huneck are arranged in order, allowing visitors to "walk through" his latest book of the same title. Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 748-2372. Through September 2.

ETHAN HUBBARD, photographs in black-and-white. Brown Library Gallery, Sterling College, Craftsbury Common, 586-9938. Through July 19.

HEALING LEGACIES, featuring mixedmedia artwork and writing by people who have faced breast cancer, and celebrating the 10th anniversary of the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Manchester Designer Outlets storefronts, 877-815-8247. Through August 10. LINDA MCCARTNEY'S SIXTIES, featuring 51 works by the late photographer, primarily from the world of rock music, through August 25. Also,, DREAM BOXES, three-dimensional Lucite and mixed-media constructions by Gloria Vanderbilt, through July 30. Southern Vermont Art Center, Manchester, 362-1405. THE AFGHAN FOLIO, photographs by Luke Powell. Oakes Hall, Vermont Law School, South Royalton, 7638303, ext. 2309. Through August 2.

JOSE CLEMENTE OROZCO IN THE UNITED STATES, 1927-1934, the first major exhibition of the Mexican artist's works features more than 110 paintings, prints, drawings and studies for murals. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603646-2426. Through December 15. VIKINGS: THE NORTH ATLANTIC SAGA, featuring artifacts and archaeological findings that prove and celebrate the arrival of Europeans in Canada a thousand years ago. Canadian Museum of Civilization, Hull, Quebec, 819-776-7169. Through October 14. ITALIAN MASTERPIECES FROM RAPHAEL TO TIEPOLO, 43 works from the 15th to 18th centuries, from the Budapest Museum of Fine Arts, through August 4. Also, RIOPELLE, featuring nearly 80 paintings, works on paper and sculptures by the Canadian artist JeanPaul Riopelle, through September 29. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514285-2000. ®

1 1 they want Boston, they go to Toronto., If they want New York, they go to Toronto!

SifLiCK final cut in cinematic terms, Loranne Turgeon's fade-out is scheduled for the beginning of September, but the lead has already been cast in the sequel to her term as executive director of the Vermont Film Commission: Out of 135 people auditioning for the role, Danis Regal was selected. And, luckily for the states future as a movie set, she's a show-busi-

Loranne Turgeon ness trouper with ties to the industry. "I've worked in Hollywood for almost 20 years," Regal explains during a telephone interview from Los Angeles. "So my connections are all in place." An Antioch graduate with an MFA in film production from New York University's Tisch School of the Arts, Regal has forged associations with such well-established direc-

But... for Vermont, there's no Toronto." — Danis Regal tors as John Sayles, Arthur Hiller and Lawrence Kasdan. She made her mark at a range of studios: Universal, 20th Century Fox, TriStar, MGM and Columbia. The Montpelier-based job was not necessarily a shoo-in for Regal, even though she and Turgeon have known each other for a decade. They first met in 1991 while both were employed on In the Line of Fire, a political thriller with Clint Eastwood playing a weathered Secret Service agent. "Danis was following the real presidential candidates around the country with the unit that had to get footage of motorcades, crowds at rallies and Air Force One," recalls Turgeon, who worked as an assistant to the producer. When a friend told Regal about the Vermont position, it seemed like the right opportunity at the right time. "I've been trying to simplify my life and stay off the freeways," she quips. "I like the fact that it's a progressive state, with such a wealth of culture." Turgeon's primary reason for leaving the post is her desire "to get back to making movies," she says. "I'll spend the next year looking for scripts, going back to the West Coast to renew my contacts, and being with my boyfriend in Maine." As commission director for almost five

years, she feels that "I gave it my all, 200 percent, but now it's time for a fresh, new person who can take it to the next level." During Turgeons tenure in the late 1990s Me, Myself and Irene, What Lies Beneath and a few scenes from The Cider House Rules — all major motion pictures — landed in Vermont. Although there's been a dry spell since then, she mentions that a few strong possibilities are in the pipeline at the moment. Regal suggests that the commission might be able to bring prosperity this way by "making a big push for commercials. That could become the state's bread and butter. I can envision a Lexus rolling through the hills, with no billboards and clear skies." She may be a dreamer, but Regal sees her forthcoming role through a pragmatic lens. "It is economic development," she points out. Unfortunately, that means going toe-totoe with Canada, where U.S. production companies enjoy tax incentives and a beneficial exchange rate on the American dollar. "If they want Boston, they go to Toronto," Regal says. "If they want New York, they go to Toronto. But you know what? For Vermont, there's no Toronto."

Perhaps, but there is Eastern Europe, another cheap thrill for moviemakers. "We have to encourage them not to go to Romania if they want mountains or snow," Regal explains. The Cleveland native's loyalty to Vermont took root during the summers she spent as a pre-teen at the former Camp Neshobe near Poultney. Another kind of camp — Gone to the Dogs, in Putney — has gilded her return to New England. "I've got a blonde Bouvier named Parma who I took to a dog camp in Tahoe last year," Regal says. "That was fun for both of us, so I'd like to try Putney." When not romping with Parma, Regal bakes — a new skill — and plays piano. She even bought a baby grand, which has already arrived in Vermont; Regal herself isn't due here until next month. These diversions are extra credits for a woman who says she has been immersed in film to the exclusion of almost everything else. She was thrilled to find the Tahoe camp so canineconscious that "it's the first place I've ever gone where nobody asked me what I do for a living." Come September, she'll have a new answer to that question. ®

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As you can guess from her name, Fickle Fannie is hard to predict. Her likes and dislikes change from one week to the next. This week, as always, the things she likes all follow a secret rule. Can you figure out what it is? (Keep in mind that Fickle Fannie likes words. But each week she likes something different about them—how they're spelled, how they sound, how they look, what they mean, or what's inside them.)

SEVEN DAYS a t « s p i p e f

Fickle Fannie would rather REPAPER her walls than PAINT them.

MfcWok ]\Meek

She sometimes reads ELLE but never COSMO. Fickle Fannie finds a RACECAR more thrilling than a SPEEDBOAT.

...

'..

j j ' e a k at [jreakvaters!

On the lake she likes to paddle a KAYAK but not a CANOE. If she keeled over, she'd rather be helped by a REVIVER than a PRIEST. Better to be on the LEVEL, she admonishes, than tell a LIE. Fickle Fannie would rather pet a PUP than a KITTEN.

At a concert she likes SOLOS but thinks DUETS are stupid. >m

When it comes to apples, she likes the REDDER ones, not the GREENER ones.

Live Music • Great Prize Giveaways • Spirits & Food %

Wednesday, July 17 & 24, 5:30-8:30PM at the King Street Ferry Dock Enjoy the sounds of...

Mr.

She'd rather be called MADAM than MS. Difficulty rating for this puzzle: easy. Ifyoure stuck, see the upside-down HINT on this page. If you cave, the ANSWER's on page 51. So much for Fickle Fannie's tastes this week. Next week shell have a whole new set of likes and dislikes. •pjoM aip jdaDxa XjjaujuiXs jnoqB 8uiipXi3A3 s3j{Tj

Join us every Wednesday this summer to celebrate the best in live local music and gorgeous sunsets on the waterfront!

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to participate, pre-register with SEVEN DAYS ^ at iovedoctor@sevendaysvt.com j j u l y 17, 2002

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July 17, 2002

by Jeffrey Quittner

The Legal System and You: How to Deal with the Law in Your Life.

Updates

July 24, 2002

by Eric Benson

Religion and Law in the post-9/11 World

July 31, 2002

by Mary Clancy

Human

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95 North Avenue Burlington, Vermont 862-9616 or 1-800-862-9616 www.burlingtoncollege.edu page 4 8 a

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ROAD TO PERDITION***

1/2

I'm not sure Sam Mendes' latest is a masterpiece, as so many critics are exclaiming, but it is probably the most artful and earnest drama ever adapted from a comic book. Sorry, I mean graphic novel. Though I can't say I completely understand the difference. Ghost Worlds credits say it's based on a comic book. Road to Perditions allude to a graphic novel. Maybe the choice says something about a director's level of seriousness. Mendes sure is in a serious mood here. Tom Hanks is a grim, Depression-era button man who works for an Irish gangster played by Paul Newman. The film's characters are defined with only the quickest of strokes. All the audience is told about Newman is that he's a ruthless, much-feared crime boss who comports himself in the manner of a sentimental grandfather when he's not putting contracts out on enemies. All we're told about Hanks is that he's the boss' loyal, right-hand man, a basically decent Catholic guy who only got mixed up in Murder, Inc. because, well, it's the Depression and the old guy offered a way for him to support his wife and two sons. I guess we're not supposed to notice that everyone else in town somehow manages to put food on the table without resorting to putting people in the ground. That's just one of the story's several holes. Here comes the big one: Hanks' boys get to wondering exactly what it is that Dad does when he goes on "missions" for kindly old Mr. Rooney. The older son hides in the back of the car when Hanks goes to work one night, accompanied by Rooneys quick-tempered, semi-psycho son (Daniel Craig). Their assignment is to patch things up with a business associate whose brother they've recently had to rub out, but Rooney Jr. blows the guy's head off instead, forcing Hanks to mow down a couple of the deceased's buddies with a Tommy gun. One of the boys sees the whole thing, setting in motion a series of events that changes the father's and sons' lives forever. I don't want to give away too much. Suffice it to say the question is raised as to what should be done about the kid, given what he witnessed. Newman has one view on the subject; his son has a less forgiving one. The next thing you know, brothers-in-arms are stabbing each other in the back, lifelong loyalties are abandoned, and all perdition breaks loose. Why? Because the boy might tell somebody that Newman & Co. are criminals. Hell, they only run the entire town. Rooney isn't feared and treated so deferentially because the local populace thinks he's such a neat guy. Everybody already knows he's a crime boss. Luckily, the movie as a whole isn't as iffy as its premise. As glorified comic books go, it has a great deal to recommend it. The direction is never less than stylish; the cinematography courtesy of Conrad L. Hall is ravishing; Newman and Hanks both bring to their performances a rare gravitas; and, as the son who goes on the run with his father, 12-year-old Tyler Hoechlin does a convincing job. Stanley Tucci and Jude Law make the most of smaller roles, too. The second half of the picture, however, is predictable and thin. Father and son get to know one another in ways they hadn't before they were forced to take to the road. Law, as a hit man hired to take out Hanks, closes in on his prey. The movie is more than watchable, but less than truly memorable. The bottom line is, you've got a graphic novel as a starting point, not a book with the depth and scope of, say, The Godfather. As well-acted and good-looking as it is, and despite its artfully composed images and universal emotional cues, Road to Perdition is underwritten and its characters are underdeveloped. This isn't a road anyone should head down expecting to find a fully fleshed-out film. ®

previews EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS Evidently writerdirector El lory Elkayem missed Mars Attacks! when it played in his neighborhood. How else to explain his desire to make a big-budget spoof of campy old sci-fi movies? David Arquette battles big spiders. With Scarlett Johansson and Doug E. Doug. (PG-13) K-19: THE WIDOWMAKER Harrison Ford tries a Russian accent on for size in Kathryn ( S t r a n g e Days) Bigelow's adventure based on a reallife 1961 incident involving a Soviet nuclear sub which came close to meltdown while at sea. Liam Neeson costars. (PG-13)

NINE QUEENS From Argentine director Fabian Bielinsky comes this awardwinning hall of mirrors about a pair of con men who find themselves conned by the wealthy businessman they set out to deceive. In Spanish with subtitles. (R) STUART LITTLE 2 In this sequel to the 1999 hit, the computer-generated rodent succumbs to the feathery charms of a sexy pigeon and grapples with the prospect of heading out on his own. Featuring the voices of Michael J . Fox, Melanie Griffith and Geena Davis. (PG)

* = REFUND, PLEASE ** = COULD'VE BEEN WORSE, BUT NOT A LOT *** = HAS ITS MOMENTS; S0-S0 **** = SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR *****=

AS GOOD AS IT GETS

SHORTS

ABOUT A B 0 Y * * * 1 / 2 Hugh Grant stars in the big screen version of Nick Hornby's 1998 bestseller about a rich, self-involved Londoner who befriends a 12-year-old boy. Rachel Weisz costars. Chris and Paul (American Pie) Weitz direct. (PG-13) THE BOURNE IDENTITY** 172 Doug (Swingers) Liman directs this adaptation of the action-packed 1980 Robert Ludlum best-seller about an amnesiac on the run from sinister forces. Matt Damon stars. Franka Potente, Chris Cooper and Brian Cox costar. (PG-13) THE CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE** 1 7 2 Steve Irwin, star of the popular Animal Planet series "The Crocodile Hunter," attempts to snag a wider audience with this big-screen saga in which he protects a croc that's swallowed a top-secret U.S. satellite beacon from agents sent to recover it. Shouldn't that be spelled "crock"? Wife Terri costars. (PG)

DIVINE SECRETS OF THE YA-YA SISTERHOOD** 172 Ashley Judd, Sandra Bullock and Ellen Burstyn star in Callie Khouri's big-screen version of Rebecca Wells' 1996 novel about the strained relationship between a young playwright and her cantankerous mother. With Maggie Smith and James Garner. (PG-13) HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION** The eighth installment in the unkillable series features Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks. This time around, teens take part in a live Webcast, which involves spending the night in Michael Myers' house. Jamie Lee Curtis costars. Rick Rosenthal directs. (R) HEY ARNOLD! THE MOVIE***

Everybody's favorite football-headed 'toon makes his big-screen debut with this comedy about a group of kids who band together to keep an evil developer from turning their neighborhood into a "mall-plex." Featuring the voices of Jennifer Jason Leigh, Christopher Lloyd and Paul Sorvino. (PG) THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST* 1 / 2 Reese Witherspoon is teamed with Judi Dench, Tom Wilkinson and Rupert Everett in Oliver (An Ideal Husband) Parker's bigscreen take on Oscar Wilde's most celebrated play. Colin Firth costars. (PG)

LIKE MIKE* 1 7 2 Fifteen-year-old rapper Lil' Bow Wow makes his big-screen debut in this comic fantasy about a pint-sized orphan whose dream of playing in the NBA comes true when he scores a pair of magic sneakers once worn by Michael Jordan. Jonathan Lipnicki and Crispin Glover costar. John Schultz directs. (PG) LILO & STITCH*** Tia Carrere, Ving Rhames and David Ogden Stiers head the voice cast for Disney's new animated offering, the story of the friendship between a young Hawaiian girl and her unruly pet space creature. Dean Deblois and Chris Sanders direct. (PG)

MEN IN BLACK II** Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are back in black and hot on the trail of an evil alien shape-shifter, played by Lara Flynn Boyle in Barry Sonnenfeld's follow-up to the 1997 hit. (PG-13) MINORITY REPORT*** 1 7 2 Tom Cruise stars in the latest from Steven Spielberg, a sci-fi saga set in a futuristic Washington, D.C., where law enforcement agencies employ seers to tip them off to potential homicides. Cruise plays a cop who finds himself on the wrong end of a prediction. Samantha Morton and Colin Farrell costar. (PG-13) MONSOON WEDDING*** 172 Salaam Bombay! director Mira Nair takes a

comic look at arranged marriages, a tradition that's alive-and well in modern India. Winner of the Golden Lion at the Venice Film Festival. (R) MR. DEEDS*** Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder are paired in director Steven Brill's remake of the 1936 Frank Capra classic, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town. In the role made famous by Gary Cooper, Sandler plays a rube who comes into a large sum of money and finds himself in a battle of wits with big-city types who want to relieve him of it. John Turturro and Steve Buscemi costar. (PG-13) MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING*** Worlds collide when Nia Bardalos, as the daughter of a Greek restaurant owner, falls for a WASP-y high school teacher played by John Corbett in this shoestring romantic comedy. (PG) THE POWERPUFF GIRLS MOVIE*** They can leap tall buildings in a single bound, and now the three Cartoon Network superheroes make the leap to the big screen. Creator Craig McCracken directs. Elizabeth Daily, Cathy Cavadini and Tara Strong do the talking. (PG) RAM DASS: FIERCE GRACE*** 1 7 2

Documentary filmmaker Mickey Lemle explores the journey of '60s spiritual leader Baba Ram Dass, an intriguing figure who began as a straightlaced Harvard professor and gradually morphed into an LSD pioneer and then an Eastern mystic. (NR) REIGN OF FIRE** Matthew McConaughey and Christian Bale play postapocalyptic dragon-slayers in the latest from The X-Files director Rob Bowman. Izabella Scorupco costars. (PG-13) RESIDENT EVIL** 1 7 2 Paul ( M o r t a l Kombat) Anderson directs this thriller based on the popular video game of the same name. Milla Jovovich plays the leader of an anti-zombie squad who leads her troops into an underground lab where the undead are being bred. Eric Mabius costars. (R) ROAD TO PERDITION*** 172 Tom Hanks stars in the latest from American Beauty director Sam Mendes, the Depression-era story of a Mob hitman who fights to protect his young son from the truth and his enemies. With Paul Newman, Stanley Tucci and Jude Law. (R)

THE ROOKIE*** Dennis Quaid stars in the true story of a Texas high school teacher and baseball coach who tried out for the majors at the age of 3 5 and made it. Rachel Griffiths costars. John Lee Hancock directs. (G) SC00BY-D00** 172 Everybody's favorite marble-mouthed mutt makes the leap to the big screen with this $90 million effectsfest featuring Matthew Lillard, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Raja ( B i g Momma's

House) Gosnell directs. (PG) SPIDER-MAN*** Everybody's favorite web-slinger makes the leap to the big screen in this highly anticipated adaptation from Sam Raimi. Tobey Maguire stars. (PG-13) SPIRIT: STALLION OF THE CIMARRON*** Matt Damon, James Cromwell and that critically acclaimed thespian, Bryan Adams, head the voice cast in this animated DreamWorks Western about a wild horse who is captured and experiences brutal treatment at the hands of a tyrannical Army general. (G)

STAR WARS: EPISODE II ATTACK OF THE CLONES** 1 7 2 Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen star in the latest from George Lucas. The second installment in the director's prequel trilogy explores the forces that helped transform the young Anakin Skywalker into the evil and considerably more deep-voiced Darth Vader. With Ewan McGregor and Samuel L. Jackson. (PG)

the hoyts cinemas

FiLMQuIZ cosponsored by Healthy Living Natural Foods Market „

B 1 3

the test of time

They can't all be classics. In fact, what we've got for you this week are scenes from four pictures that barely even registered in the public consciousness and did so-so business at best. They came and went in less time than it took Men In Black II to crack the $100 million mark. Your job is to convince us they are gone but not forgotten.

THE SUM OF ALL FEARS*** Ben Affleck takes on the role of the young Jack Ryan in Phil Alden Robinson's adaptation of the 1991 Tom Clancy thriller. In this prequel of sorts, the CIA analyst uncovers a plot to detonate a nuclear weapon inside the U.S. and make it look like the work of the Russians. Morgan Freeman, James Cromwell and Alan Bates costar. (PG) Y TU MAMA TAMBIEN**** Writer-director Alfonso Cuaron's latest tracks the coming-of-age adventures of two teenage Mexican boys who manage to persuade a beautiful Spanish woman to accompany them on a road trip to.a magical beach. Diego Luna, Gael Garcia Bernal and Maribel Verdu star. (NR)

new op ¥ideo

AMELIE*** 1 7 2 Audrey Tautou plays a Parisian waitress who discovers a box of childhood mementos in her apartment, returns it to its owner and changes both their lives forever in this Oscar-nominated romance from Alien Resurrection director Jean-Pierre Jeunet. (R) DRAGONFLY**172 From the guy who gave us Ace Ventura: Pet Detective comes the supernatural saga of a widower who becomes convinced his wife is communicating with him through the near-death experiences of her pediatric cancer patients. Kevin Costner stars. (PG-13) JOHN Q*** Denzel Washington goes ballistic and takes an ER hostage when health insurance red tape keeps his son from getting the heart transplant he desperately needs, in the latest from director Nick Cassavetes. With Robert Duvall and Anne Heche. (PG-13)®

a For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday and Sunday on News Channel 5!

WINNERS

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS

ADAM LUKENS CAROL AHERN SETH CAMPBELL JIM JOHNSTON HAL NICHOLS SARAH GRIFFIN RACHEL BUSHEY ROY HALL MIKE MUNSON JOSEPH PEILA

FRAILTY

o o

N3 o 3T J*

V) o 3 &> X

DEADLINE: MONDAY • P R I Z E S : 10 P A I R S OF F R E E P A S S E S P E R W E E K IN THE EVENT OF A TIE, W I N N E R C H O S E N BY LOTTERY. S E N D E N T R I E S TO: FILM QUIZ, PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495. OR E M A I L TO ultrfnprd@aol.com. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES

All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. * = New film. Film times may change. Please call theaters to confirm. BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4

Rt. 1 0 0 , Morrisville, 8 8 8 - 3 2 9 3 .

Wednesday 17 — thursday 18

The Crocodile Hunter 1:45. 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 0 5 . Mr. Deeds 1:25, 3 : 4 5 , 7, 8 : 5 5 . Men in Black II 1:35, 3 : 3 5 , 6 : 5 0 , 9. Lilo and Stitch 1:15, 3 : 2 5 , 6 : 4 0 , 8 : 1 5 . Like Mike 3:30.

friday 19 — thursday 25 Stuart Little II* 1, 2 : 3 0 , 4 , 6 : 5 0 , 8 : 1 5 . The Crocodile Hunter 8 : 2 5 . Mr. Deeds 1:25, 3 : 4 5 , 7, 8 : 5 5 . Men in Black II 1:35, 3 : 3 5 , 7 : 1 0 , 9 . Lilo and Stitch 1 : 1 5 , 3:25, 6:40.

ESSEX OUTLETS CINEMA

Essex Outlet Fair, Rt. 1 5 & 2 8 9 , Essex Junction, 8 7 9 - 6 5 4 3

Wednesday 17 — thursday 18

Eight-Legged Freaks* 1 2 : 5 0 , 3 : 5 0 , 6 : 5 0 , 9 : 3 0 . Reign of Fire 1:10, 4 : 1 5 , 7 : 1 5 , 9 : 5 0 . Road to Perdition 1, 4, 7, 9 : 4 0 . The Crocodile Hunter 1 2 : 4 0 , 2 : 5 0 , 5, 7 : 1 0 . Men in Black II 1 2 : 1 0 , 2 : 4 0 , 5, 7 : 2 0 , 9 : 5 0 . The Powerpuff Girls 2 : 3 0 . Mr. Deeds 1 2 : 1 0 , 2 : 3 0 , 4 : 5 0 , 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 3 0 . Lilo and Stitch 1 2 : 1 5 , 2 : 3 0 , 4 : 4 0 , 6 : 5 0 , 9. Minority Report 9 : 3 0 . Bourne Identity 6 : 4 0 , 9 : 4 0 . Scooby-Doo 12:30, 4 : 3 0 .

friday 19 — thursday 25 Stuart Little II* 1 2 : 4 0 , 2 : 4 0 , 4 : 4 0 , 6 : 4 0 , 8 : 4 0 . K-19: The Widowmaker* 1 2 : 3 0 , 3 : 3 0 , 6 : 3 0 , 9 : 3 0 . Eight-Legged Freaks 1 2 : 5 0 , 3 : 5 0 , 6 : 5 0 , 9 : 3 0 . Reign of Fire 1:10, 4 : 1 5 , 7 : 1 5 , 9 : 5 0 . Road to Perdition 1, 4, 7, 9 : 4 0 . The Crocodile Hunter 1 2 : 4 0 , 2 : 5 0 , 5, 7 : 1 0 . Men in Black II 1 2 : 2 0 , 2 : 4 0 , 5, 7 : 2 0 , 9 : 5 0 . Mr. Deeds 1 2 : 1 0 , 2 : 3 0 , 4 : 5 0 , 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 4 0 . Minority Report 9 : 2 0 .

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Ave, Burlington, 8 6 3 - 6 0 4 0 .

Wednesday 17 — thursday 18

Y Tu Mama Tambien 8 : 4 0 . Monsoon Wedding 9 : 1 5 . About a Boy 7 : 2 0 , 9 : 2 5 . Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron 7 . The Rookie 6 : 5 0 . The Importance of Being Earnest 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 3 0 .

friday 19 — thursday 25

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones 1, 6 : 4 0 , 9 : 2 0 . Sum of All Fears 1 : 1 0 , 6 : 5 0 , 9 : 2 5 . Y Tu Mama Tambien 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 3 0 . About a Boy 1:20, 7, 9 : 1 5 . Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron 1:30.

MERRILL'S SHOWCASE

Williston Rd, S. Burlington, 8 6 3 - 4 4 9 4

Wednesday 17 — thursday 18

Reign of Fire 1:25, 3 : 2 5 , 6 : 5 0 , 9 : 3 5 . The Crocodile Hunter 1:35, 3 : 3 5 , 7 : 2 5 ,

9 : 2 5 . Men in Black II 1:15, 3 : 1 5 , 5 : 1 5 , * 7 : 1 5 , 9 : 4 5 . Powerpuff Girls 5 : 3 0 . Minority Report 1:45, 6 : 3 0 , 9 : 1 5 . Lilo & Stitch 1, 3 , 5, 7, 8 : 4 5 .

friday 19 — thursday 25 K-19: The Widowmaker* 1, 3 : 4 0 , 6 : 4 0 , 9 : 2 0 . Road to Perdition 1:20, 3 : 5 0 , 7, 9 : 3 0 . Reign of Fire 1 . 1 0 , 3 : 3 0 , 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 3 5 . The Crocodile Hunter 1:40, 3 : 5 5 , 6 : 5 0 . Men in Black II 1:30, 4, 7 : 2 0 , 9 : 4 0 . Minority Report 8.-40.

NICKELODEON CINEMAS

College Street, Burlington, 8 6 3 - 9 5 1 5 .

Wednesday 17— thursday 18

The Road to Perdition 1 2 : 3 0 , 1, 3 : 3 0 , 4 , 6 : 2 0 , 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 3 0 , 1 0 . Like Mike 12, 2 : 2 0 , 4 : 4 0 , 7 : 2 0 , 9 : 5 0 . The Sum of All Fears 1 2 : 4 5 , 3 : 4 5 , 6 : 4 0 , 9 : 2 0 . My Big Fat Greek Wedding 1 2 : 2 0 , 2 : 3 0 , 4 : 5 0 , 7, 9 : 1 5 . Minority Report 12:10, 3 : 2 0 , 6:30, 9:40.

friday 19 — tuesday 23

K-19: The Widowmaker* 12, 1 2 : 4 0 , 3 : 1 5 , 3 : 5 0 , 6 : 2 0 , 6 : 5 0 , 9 : 2 0 , 9 : 5 0 . The Road to Perdition 1 2 : 2 0 , 1 2 : 5 0 , 3 : 3 0 , 4 , 6 : 4 0 , 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 3 0 , 1 0 . Like Mike 1, 3 : 4 0 . My Big Fat Greek Wedding 1 2 : 1 0 , 2 : 2 0 , 4 : 3 0 , 7, 9 : 1 5 . Minority Report 6 : 3 0 , 9:40.

THE SAVOY THEATER

Main Street, Montpelier, 2 2 9 - 0 5 0 9 .

Wednesday 17 — thursday 18 Ram Dass Fierce Grace

6:30, 8:30.

STOWE CINEMA 3 PLEX

friday 19 — thursday 25 Nine Queens*

Mr Deeds 1 2 : 1 5 , 2 : 3 5 , 4 : 5 0 , 7:05, 9:40. Lilo and Stitch 1 2 : 3 5 , 2 : 5 0 , 4 : 5 5 , 7. Bourne Identity 9 : 3 0 . Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood 6 : 5 0 , 9 : 2 5 . The Scorpion King 5 : 2 0 , 7 : 2 5 .

6:30, 8:45.

Mountain Rd, Stowe, 2 5 3 - 4 6 7 8

SOUTH BURLINGTON NINE

Wednesday 17 — thursday 18

Wednesday 17— thursday 18

friday 19 — thursday 25

Shelburne Rd, S. Burlington, 8 6 4 - 5 6 1 0 . Reign of Fire 1 2 : 0 5 , 2 : 3 0 , 4 : 5 5 , 7 : 2 0 , 9 : 5 5 . The Crocodile Hunter 1 2 : 2 5 , 2 : 4 5 , 5, 7 : 1 5 , 9 : 3 5 . Halloween: Resurrection 1:50, 4, 6 : 5 0 , 1 0 . Men in Black II 12, 1 2 : 3 5 , 2 : 2 0 , 2 : 5 5 , 4 : 4 0 , 5:15, 7, 7 : 3 5 , 9 : 2 0 , 9 : 5 5 . Powerpuff Girls 1 1 : 5 5 a.m. Mr Deeds 1 2 : 1 5 , 2 : 3 5 , 4 : 5 0 , 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 4 0 . Hey Arnold 1 1 : 5 0 a.m. Bourne Identity 1:40, 4 : 2 0 , 7 : 0 5 , 9 : 4 5 . Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood 6 : 4 0 , 9 : 2 5 . Scooby-Doo 1 2 : 1 0 , 2 : 2 5 , 4 : 3 5 . Lifo and Stitch 1 2 : 3 0 , 2 : 5 0 , 5:10, 7:25, 9:30.

friday 19— tuesday 23 Stuart Little II* 1 2 : 4 0 , 3 : 0 5 , 5:10, 7 : 1 0 , 9 : 2 0 . Eight-Legged Freaks* 1 2 : 1 0 , 2 : 4 0 , 5:05, 7 : 3 0 , 9 : 5 5 . Reign of Fire 1 2 : 0 5 , 2 : 3 0 , 4 : 5 5 , 7 : 2 0 , 9 : 5 5 . The Crocodile Hunter 1 2 : 2 5 , 2 : 4 5 , 5, 7:15, 9 : 3 5 . Halloween: Resurrection 1 2 : 4 5 , 3 : 1 0 , 5 : 2 0 & 7 : 2 5 (Fri-Mon), 10. Men in Black II 12, 12:30, 2 : 2 0 , 3 , 4 : 4 0 , 5 : 1 5 , 7 : 3 5 , 9 : 5 0 .

july 17,

2002

Men in Black II 6 : 4 5 , 9. Mr. Deeds 6 : 4 5 , 9 : 1 5 . Minority Report 6 : 3 0 , 9 : 1 5 .

Men in Black II 2 & 4 (Sat & Sun), 6 : 4 5 , 9. Mr. Deeds 2 & 4 (Sat & Sun), 6 : 4 5 , 9 : 1 5 . Road To Perdition 2 (Sat & Sun), 6:30, 9:10.

Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time. CAPITAL THEATRE 9 3 State Street, Montpelier, 2 2 9 - 0 3 4 3 . MAD RIVER FLICK Route 1 0 0 , Waitsfield, 4 9 6 - 4 2 0 0 . MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 3 8 8 - 4 8 4 1 . PARAMOUNT THEATRE 2 4 1 North Main Street, Barre, 4 7 9 - 4 9 2 1 . SUNSET DRIVE-IN Porters Point Rd., Colchester, 8 6 2 - 1 8 0 0 . WELDEN THEATER 1 0 4 No. Main St., St. Albans, 5 2 7 - 7 8 8 8 .

SEVEN DAYS

page 49a

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S f P T I M B F R 7> ITMiOM S T A T I O N P A R K I N G LOT> \ biAiH

STi> ^ U P l v N G T O M

WE: 1. Will display your pinata in the music tent. YOU: 1. Register your pinata idea at pinata@sevendaysvt.com by August 14. (We need to know how many are coming.) 2. Make your pinata* - using old Seven Days newspapers, of course.

2. Will offer cash prizes for People's Choice Awards in the following categories: • Prettiest Pinata • Funniest Pinata • Pinata You Most Want to Smash • Most Ingenious Pinata • Best Pinata Innards (must not be dangerous, illegal or too hard to clean up)

3. Bring it to our 7th birthday party September 7 by 5 p.m.

3. Will sacrifice your pinata in a public bashing ceremony. For more info, call 864-5684 or e-mail pinata@sevendaysvt.com. (*lf you need help, directions for papier-mache and pinata construction can be found online.)

S a i n t Michael's College Child C a r e Center

Take the Stress Out of Your Daily Commute!

Summer Day Camps

Save money

JUNE 17-AUGUST 16 AGES 5-9 YEARS

Save the environment ...and catch up on some sleep!

Year-round Preschool, Toddler and Infant programs

654-2650

ISiSIti Join a carpool or vanpool, and share driving with a friend or co-worker! You'll also get FREE membership to the Guaranteed Ride Home program, so you're never left stranded.

Call 1-800-685-RIDE today to register.

SIDEWALK JULY 18-21

THURSDAY-SUNDAY page 50a I

SEVEN DAYS * j u l y 17, 2002

BE A HEATHEN!

(WITH BATH HARDWARE FROM SAMUEL HEATH)

SPECIALIZINGtoMULTI tTHMC DISHtS AND rrwcix rooos

Close To H o m e

M I S . MAZK&mCAfe

131 Main Street Burlington -M-Sat 8 - 6 865-9700 SAVE EVEN MORE. Bring in this ad and get a $5 gift certificate, while supplies last! Please visit Customer Service for details. Check for sales in stores as well.

UNIVERSITY MALL W h e r e you'll find it all! 155 Dorset Street, South Burlington, Vermont Phone: 863.1066 www.umallvt.com Mall Hours: Monday-Saturday 9:30-9:30; Sunday 11-6 SD

65 Falls Road . Shelburne VT 05482 . 985-8566 Mon-Sat 10-5 . Or by Appt . Closed Sundays FRANK DEANGELIS, OWNER CABINET KNOBS. DOOR & BATH HARDWARE

The . p e a n u t b u t &

"JeRemy

V>> T A M E S

KOCHALKA

Dear Cecil, During a recent ABC television report about how infrequent shark attacks really are, we were told, "Each year coconuts falling from trees kill 150 people." That sounded absurd to me. Could it be true? If so, what is the cause ofdeath? — Nicki F. This has gone on long enough. Its about time somebody spoke up for the coconuts. For 20 years scientists have been saying you have a better chance of getting killed by a falling coconut than by whatever lethal life form they were getting big bucks to study. In 1984, for example, this column quoted Dr. Merlin Tuttle, curator o£ mammals at the Milwaukee Public Museum ?and founder of Bat Conservation Inter-national, on the chances of being bitten by a bat versus death due to various misadventures (getting poisoned at a church picnic, murdered by your spouse or bitten by a rabid dog or cat). Having worked up a head of steam, Dr. Tuttle thundered, ) "Statistically, you have a better chance in this country of dying from being hit on the head with a coconut than from a bat biting you." Now scientists are rallying round the misunderstood shark. In late May, George Burgess, director of the Florida Museum of Natural History's International Shark Attack File and a noted shark researcher, was quoted as saying, "Falling coconuts kill 150 people worldwide each year, 15 times the number of fatalities attributable to sharks." The source of this statistic was not stated. But it may have been a widely reported press release from the British travel-insurance firm Club Direct, saying that "holidaymakers hit by falling coconuts will be guaranteed full cover under their travel insurance policy. The news follows reports from Queens-land, Australia, that coconut trees are being uprooted by local councils fearful of being sued for damages by people injured by coconuts. 'Coconuts kill around 150 people worldwide each year, which makes them about 10 times more dangerous than sharks,' says Brent Escott, managing director of Club Direct." So, Brent, do coconuts kill 10 times as many people as sharks, or 15?

ris-.

-V-***

No response yet from the UK. However, Club Direct's release also cites an article by Dr. Peter Barss in the Journal of Trauma entitled "Injuries Due to Falling Coco-nuts." (The article received an Ig Nobel Prize, given annually at Harvard by the editors of the Annals of Improbable Research in recognition of research that "cannot or should not be replicated." The award was presented in 2001, notwithstanding that the paper had been published in 1984. Apparent-ly news takes a while to filter through to Cambridge.) The article soberly reported on nine injuries in Papua New Guinea due to falling coconuts, none fatal. Barss notes that a coconut palm tree commonly reaches 25 meters in height, that a coconut can weigh two kilograms or more, and that a two-kilogram coconut falling 25 meters would have a velocity of 80 kilometers per hour on impact and a force of as much as 1000 kilograms. Several victims suffered fractured skulls, were rendered comatose, etc. OK, getting hit by a coconut is no laughing matter. But nowhere does Dr. Barss say that 150 people get killed by coconuts each year. He provides an anecdotal account of one such death, and in a separate paper estimates five deaths in his hospitals service area in Papua New Guinea related to coconut palm trees (including climbers falling out of them) over a four-year period. A recent report ("Coconut PalmRelated Injuries in the Pacific Islands," ANZ Journal of Surgery, Mulford et al.,

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2001), which describes itself as "the largest review of coconut-palm related injuries," also reports no deaths and on the question of mortality merely cites Barss' research. Given that Barss' hospital in Papua New Guinea served a population of 130,000, one conceivably could project 150 deaths over that portion of the world population living in proximity to coconut palm trees, but I am not aware of any systematic attempt to do so. Noting that death reporting in tropical countries is limited, Dr. Barss tells me, "I am surprised that someone has come up with an actual number for such injuries. It must be a crude estimate, and you would have to ask them what methodology they used to verify whether it has any validity." Conclusion: Somebody pulled the figure about 150 deaths due to coconuts out of the air. Take that, shark lovers. Barss, incidentally, wrote numerous frightening reports while stationed in the tropics. His subjects included injuries by pigs in Papua New Guinea, penetrating wounds caused by needlefish in Oceania, scombroid fish poisoning at Ala Tau, grass-skirt burns, wound necrosis caused by the venom of stingrays, and inhalation hazards of tropical "pea shooters." He's now teaching at United Arab Emirates University, in a desert city built around an ancient date oasis. Can't blame him for making the switch — nobody ever got KO'd by a falling date. — CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 6 0 6 1 1 , or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

Fickle Fannie Answer: She likes palindromes — words spelled the same both forwards and backwards. w w w . A<%ie?>;<*nevf.cem july 17, 2 0 0 2

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SEVEN DAYS '

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David Grisman Quintet Sam Bush Band Jorma Kaukonen Peter Bowan John Cowan Band PLUS Notre Dame de Grace

SATURDAY, JULY

THE GREEN at

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