Seven Days, August 27, 1997 by Seven Days

the baby, he tried to track it down but got nowhere. Meanwhile, Roberts learned

Clothes encounters Christopher Reeve, the actor

etativeiy breaki year Lightfoot, 35, and Rich 'any, 33, did not spea « r I >ther for two months, ti spondmg to an early

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Roberts said ; Sanders wetc

Lightfoot realized it

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effective treatment, then we need to help them live

DISTURBING REPORT

safe lives because it keeps our communities safer. If

I was disturbed by Peter Freyne's

description on August 6 and again

V P R offered Fred Hill a job that kept him in contact

on August 13 (Inside Track) of a

with children, I would be outraged, too. But given

personnel incident at Vermont pub-

that V P R and Fred Hill are doing exactly what

lic Radio (VPR). I was disturbed by

experts agree will keep our c o m m u n i t y safe, I will

this description because I believe

direct my anger at cases where the victims are still at

Peter Freyne is trying to change a

risk, and at sex offenders who will not go into treatment and w h o have committed this terrible crime, but to do what is most effective at keeping our chil-

good policy which is in operation at

dren safe from abuse.

VPR.

T h a n k you for this opportunity to respond to

W i t h years of professional expe-

this disturbing column by Peter Freyne.

rience working with men, w o m e n ,

opposing the management of VPR. V P R hired Fred Hill, knowing

HILL'S E N T I T L E M E N T ?

he had a criminal conviction for

Am I the only one nauseated by the "Aw, give the

child molestation, had served time,

guy a break" support that Fred Hill has been getting

had successfully completed a spe-

in this paper (Weekly Mail)? Is having all the privi-

cialized treatment program, and is

lege of family, friends, a nice paycheck and the luxu-

on parole until the year 2007. It

ry of enjoying child pornography on the job consid-

was not required, but wise, for

ered to be the entitlement of a born-again contribut-

V P R s management to notify poten-

ing member of society? As for the children he raped,

tial employees of Hill's history.

what will they be entitled to for the rest of their

T h e y erred by not informing A m y

lives?

Barnett. But this event is not news^

worthy.

Cambridge

In fact, when we look at the ^

^ ^

T h e r e is a disturbing trend lately to single out

I wish that all cases would be han-

^ ^ ^

those who have committed sex crimes and put them

died this way — that they would

hounded and even evicted from neighborhoods and

victims the agony of a court hear-

the towns or cities where they reside. I am not here

ing), serve time and offer restitution

to defend criminal actions, but simply write to

for the damage they caused their

remind that it is a dangerous trend to say that any

victims and their community, com-

one group has no rights or privacy if they have com-

plete an effective treatment pro-

mitted a certain type of crime. T h e same intolerance

gram so that when they are released

that wants to out the sex offender can come to see

back into the c o m m u n i t y they can control these

gays, Wacks, women, etc. as just as evil and in need

impulses and live in a m a n n e r that is safe for the

of s p ^ a l treatment to keep society safe.

c o m m u n i t y and for themselves.

It is an old myth that we tell our children to

W h e n recent studies show that 85 percent of sex-

watch out for strangers because, time and again, the

ual assaults are never reported, we must realize most

truth reveals that offenders are more often family

sex offenders are never caught, never receive treat-

and close friends. It is a sad fact that in many cases

ment and continue to sexually abuse others. T h i s

kids may be safer with the stranger than their own

staggering statistic means that all of us probably

family. W e should remember that when we sharpen

know someone w h o has sexually abused, has not had

our hatchets and go looking for heads to put on a

treatment, who is likely to be abusing children, and

pole, we could become the next victim.

w h o is endangering our c o m m u n i t y safety. I believe

— Paul Falcone

that we are much better off knowing who has a sexu-

Montpelier

al behavior problem or conviction and knowing how to help people stay safe and healthy sexually. If people w h o have sexually abused children admit to the crime, serve their time and complete

Continued on page 28

Letters Policy: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 250 words or less. Letters should respond to content in Seven Days. Include your name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, R0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. tax: 865-1015

e-mail: sevenday@together.net Photographers, want to show off your stuff? Contribute a portfolio shot to "Exposure." Send it to the address above or call for more into.

* .

Or, how an unlettered college student learned to love reading By Ron Powers page 17

THE LIGHT STUFF Antique of the Week By Rachel Esch

page 19

A well-grounded athlete tries the sky By David Healy

page 25

One of only 20 special-needs educational consultants in the country, Ben Mason tells students where to go By Kevin J. Kelley page 27

on public record as those who should be watched,

admit their crimes (sparing their

LET US N O W PRAISE FAMOUS BOOKS

SCHOOL DAZE

DANGEROUS TREND

eventually be released from prison,

page 15

OUTDOORS: THE M A N W H O FELL TO EARTH

— N a t Harrison

reality that most sex offenders will ^ ^

page 13

Brandon

follow the logic of Freyne's position

flBB^MHj

ROOM WITH A ' Y O U '

A college student's guide to dorm decor By Bryan S t r a t t o n

(Jan Levins is the Executive Director of Safer Society CLASSES W E ' D MOST LIKE TO TAKE ...If only (a) we had the time (b) we could do it over ... Foundation, Inc.) By Glenn Severance

ally abuse children, I am trying to

Why more and more people are saying "no" to drug abuse resistance eductation By Ruth Horowitz page 7

— Jan Levins

adolescents and children w h o sexu-

jpl^^^V

TRUTH OR D.A.R.E.

1 .

Jkkl- • . '

V-

I- "

• >

* jtS

o zx> GO

departments

news q u i r k s weekly mail exposure s t r a i g h t dope . . i ns i . . . Z" bac'kta 1 k . . . . ^ . ^ sound a d v i c e . . calendar real a s t r o l o g y art l i s t i n g s l i f e in hell v i d i o t savant talking pictures wellness directory h e a l t h q&a classifieds g r e e t i n g s from dug nap . . . . personals dykes to watch out f o r T o l a , the l o v e c o u n s e l o r . . .

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staff

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Roudy ART DIRECTORS Samantha Hunt, Michael Barren, PRODUCTION MANAGER Samantha Hunt WWW GUY James Lockridge CIRCULATION MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS/PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Michelle Brown, Eve Jarosinski, Nancy Payne, Rick Woods CALENDAR WRITER Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Marialisa Calta, Rachel Esch, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Samantha Hunt, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, P Finn McManamy, Tom Paine, Bryan Pfeiffer, Ron Powers, Gail Rosenberg, Amy Rubin, Molly Stevens PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Michael Barrett, Gary Causer, Sarah Ryan

SEVEN DAYS is published by Da Capo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free of charge in greater Burlington, Middlebury, Montpelier, Stowe, the Mad River Valley, Rutland, St. Albans, and Plattsburgh. Circulation: 16,500. Sixm o n t h First Class subscriptions are available for $30. O n e - y e a r First Class subscriptions are available for $60. S i x - m o n t h T h i r d Class subscriptions are available for $15. One-year T h i r d Class subscriptions are available for $30. Please call 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to "Subscriptions" at the address below. For Classifieds/Personals or display advertising, please call the number below.

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I J I p t ! Cecil Adams cisifelherhe Straight Dope on any topic. Write iter. It E. Illinois, Chicago, II60611or e«ii llilif^itech^denoxsi. A'irg u s t

2 7-, , 1 9 9 7

INVESTIGATION

to call Bill Gilbert at 656-2886, "if you have any comments or questions." Tuesday morning we did. Turns out it's not Dollar Bill's phone number, but rather the num| Despite the support for convicted pedophile ber for Mary Fanny's public relations depart| Alfred "Fred" Hill voiced in this papers letters ment. And it also turns out Inside Track was the I to the editor column recently, the director of the first and only call. Pretty effective advertising. * state parole board has requested a report from Great to know they're selling health care 1 the corrections department on Mr. Hill's connow just like Proctor & Gamble sells soap. | duct and level of supervision. Park Pow-Wow — Yes, that was Burlington | Linda Shambo, executive director of the Mayor Peter Clavelle sitting « Vermont Parole Board, said the down Monday afternoon in * matter was brought to her attenCity Hall Park with a pack of 1 tion by recent reports in Seven about 20 scruff-hounds and | Days about Hill's low-level superskateboarders. Ah, yes, the I vision by corrections officials and younger generation. The future ^an incident in 1996 in which leaders of our state and country. I Hill was caught viewing child Mayor Pedro wasn't looking for | pornography on his computer media coverage, but he told | screen at work. Hill, 53, is Inside Track the young park » Vermont Public Radio's director patrons voiced concerns about • of marketing and development, how the local gendarmes treat i He's worked there since his them. At one point Clavelle | release from prison in 1989. Two asked for a show of hands from • years earlier Hill was convicted of those who'd been ticketed for * two felony counts of sexual skateboarding. A dozen arms i assault as the result of a plea barwere raised. Another beef the | gain. His victims were children. young folk raised to Burlap's | Hill remains on parole until mayor was over the issue of I October 2005. boredom in one of the most livVPR officials have said Hill able cities in America. Boredom? I was "severely disciplined" for the That's right. Our generation | incident involving child pornoghad Vietnam and the Selective | raphy, but they have refused to Service System to keep life say if his parole officer was notiinteresting. Today, it's be a good • fied. Hill refused to comment consumer or bug out. | on the matter Tuesday. "I have "It's important they have a | no comment on anything going voice that's being heard," said | on," he said. Clavelle. "If those of us with Last Thursday VPR conpower and influence did a little I vened an emergency meeting of its board of more listening, it'd be a better place." | directors. VPR President Mark Vogelzang told Right on, Pedro. | Inside Track there was "a frank discussion of,the T h e Comeback Kid — Allen Martin, as in _ issues." Mr. Hill remains on the job, said Downs Rachlin & Martin, is back in political £ • Vogelzang Tuesday, and VPR stands behind him. play with his election Saturday as national comShambo said the parole board is very conmitteeman for the Vermont Republican Party. | cerned that Hill was placed on low-level superviBig A1 promised the 68 delegates that the GOP • sion by the Department of Corrections. Shambo will retake the legislature and that H. 527, the r said the board had not been notified about Hill's new education funding law, will be the key. "It's I reduced supervision level, nor of the 1996 worka bad law," said Martin, who's a leader of the { place incident. "The first we knew about it," she GOP's silk-stocking Chittenden County wing. | said, was in the Seven Days reports. New Neighbors — Guess who's buying the "Clearly," said Shambo, "our feeling is he house in the Old North End next door to Paula •should not have been reduced in supervision Routly, the distinguished co-publisher/editor of | levels." Paroled sex offenders, she said, "espeSeven Days! c i a l l y pedophiles," need to be under "closer Would you believe the distinguished editor of • supervision." There are currently 14 sex offendthe competition — Shay Totten of Vermont Times? * ers on parole in Vermont, said Shambo. Hey, good fences make good neighbors. At I Shambo said that if the workplace pornograleast Vermont Times' editor lives in Vermont. Its | phy incident is confirmed, it would be "a seripublisher, Ed Coats, still commutes to the | o u s violation" of Hill's parole. Green Mountain State from across the pond. « Free Freeps Ad? — There was quite the little Media Notes — Bet you didn't know Patrick J. * buzz this week following the full-page ad in Leahy is a one-eyed senator? Born blind in his 1 Sunday's Burlington Free Press that attempted to left eye. It's true, and our source is none other 1 | polish Fletcher Allen Health Care's somewhat than WCAX-TV's one-eyed anchorman and a tarnished image. Titled "CAN READING AN news director, Marselis Parsons. Marselis ! AD MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?" the text underwent surgery three weeks ago for a ^ told readers how Vermont's largest medical cendetached retina and is recovering at his | ter "is changing to serve you better." Shelburne home. He'll know more about when | Now what? More layoffs? he'll be able to return to the six o'clock news « What caught many a savvy eye was the last after next Tuesday's doctor's appointment. He's * sentence: "And thanks to The Burlington Free Press been unable to read or watch the tube, or even i for donating the space for this advertisement." take out the sailboat. Instead he's become a big | Hello? Listen, there's no such thing as a free fan of books on tape. Best wishes. I lunch, and at Gannett's local cash cow there's In his absence, Will Mikell has stepped up • „ no such thing as a free ad. Trust me. to the anchor desk, and has been doing an Reached at a Manhattan restaurant Monday excellent job. Like the new haircut, too. Will's a g | night, Bill Gilbert, Fletcher Aliens bold new hometown Williston boy who graduated from § j leader, acknowledged the full-page ad wasn't CVU and St. Lawrence. I exactly a charitable gift from the state's largest WCAX sports director J.J. CiofB tells * newspaper to the state's largest hospital. Actually Inside Track he's made the pick for the next 11 1 it was a trade. Dollar Bill had been a guest o'clock sports anchor replacing Len Jennings, | speaker at a Freeps management seminar. He who left for a position at the Fox affiliate in Ft. | spoke on health care and the economy. Instead Meyers, Florida. His choice, Mindy Burns, has gof receiving a cash payment for his words of wis- been with the ABC affiliate in Bowling Green, ® dom, the paper offered the ad space. Kentucky. Can't wait to see how she hits it off | By the way, after listing all the wonderful with Coach Tom Brennan. Ladies in the locker J things about Fletcher Allen, the ad asks readers room okay, Coach? (7)

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MALINA GETS MOTORVATED: W h e n

development this

he left the Flynn Theatre for a

new job in Minneapolis, former programming director

Philip Bither

Clark Russell. His incoming Arnie Malina, got a more practical parting gift last week

Fall at the UVM

got a royal roast and a sculpture by

Church Street

in Montana. "There are two groups of people in Helena," Grant Sasek

replacement,

reported in the

Center.

Independent Record. " O n e group loves Arnie Malina . .

.They are concerned for his safety. Another, certainly much smaller group, see Helena's aggressive promoter of the arts community as 'an

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j BECK IN THE SADDLE: Letters to J up another issue of

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! honor, in a piece that made it clear the duck-hunting scholar was not ! exactly politically correct. A slew of letters followed in the next issue, | accusing him of intolerance and bigotry. But this time around the j "equal opportunity curmugeon" comes out o n top. A m o n g his dozen

Michael Tolkin, w h o dedicated his first novel, The ! Player, to his former teacher. Describing h i m as "a mentor," Tolkin j defenders is writer

| characterizes Beck as "the last of his own Mohican tribe," T h e fellow ! who endowed the scholarship also wrote back, calling Beck a "elder i patriot" and victim of latter-day reverse McCarthyism. A n d to prove | his point, he does something better than have the last word — doubles I his gift.

i WRITE APPROACH:

Mystery writers specialize in plot twists. And actor

! Craig Bailey got a big surprise when he sent off a letter to the author , j of Deathtrap . Playwright and novelist Ira Levin, w h o also penned The J Stepford Wives, Rosemary's Baby and The BoysfromBrazil, sent back a | hand-written note in response to Bailey, w«-<* — ! Factory production of the play in Septemi

- ^ TU^t.r : never written a wel-

coming

tys before, and I was-

n't

he request," Levin

wrote back. Turns o u t his father was lived

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| Beck was profiled last winter, after a scholarship was named in his

it. Growing up in]

ngton, where he , the Levin family

would

:ousins, so I too

cherish

'I'm sure it is far

larger now than it was back when I

nly hope it's half as

clean and bright and lovely. I hope too that its theatergoers — a m o n g them, I trust, a few Levins — will enjoy Deathtrap and laugh and scream in all the right places." O n l y one way to find out.

SEVEN DAYS

august

27,

1997

TO SCHOOL

Ruth

Horowitz

WHY MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE SAYING "NO" TO DRUG ABUSE RESISTANCE EDUCATION

cop walks into an elementary school classroom with an enormous stuffed lion under his arm. For the next the fanfare and feel-good pubhour, the sixth-graders will pass licity, there's a growing suspithe toy around, styling its mane cion that the anti-drug program and poking it with pencils government officials prescribe while they hear about the dangers of mind-altering drugs, dis- most may actually be nothing more than a placebo. cuss the consequences of makOne fertile source of antiing unhealthy lifestyle deciD.A.R.E. sentiment is the sions, and practice just saying World Wide Web. One site, "no." It's time for D.A.R.E. — entitled "Dare to Tell the Truth the students' weekly dose of to America's Children," omiDrug Abuse Resistance nously warns, "Before the Education. American public succumbed Originally concocted in to the war on drug users, 1983 for Los Angeles students mass murder was neither by then-Police Chief Daryl thinkable nor possible in Gates, D.A.R.E. is now a $210 the United States. Now it is million nonprofit empire, and both." A more measured the drug-prevention curriculum criticism, on-line and off, is of choice for 70 percent of the that the much-touted proschool districts in this country. gram's effectiveness hasn't Each year it reaches an estimatbeen clearly established. ed 33 million students, and its "People [here] roll their legions continue to grow. In eyes when D.A.R.E. gets Vermont, 165 elementary mentioned," a source within schools participate. the Clinton Administration's D.A.R.E. is a 17-week prodrug prevention unit warily gram in which specially trained admits. "There's no proof police officers lead fifth- and that it works, and lots of sixth-graders through lessons evidence that it doesn't." designed to help them build Closer to home, Kathryn their self-confidence and manFox, an assistant professor of age stress and anger through sociology at the University drug-free, non-violent means. of Vermont who teaches Bill Ward, one of three about delinquent behavior D.A.R.E. officers on the prevention, adds that Burl ington force, also pals D.A.R.E. has a "bad reputaaround with the kids after tion among academics." school and at recreational events. At the end of the program, students pledge to i r s u « £ K f t o e remain drugfree, and receive certificates, T-shirts and the ubiquitous bumper stickers. (The stuffed lion, "Daren," designed by Hanna- GL£HH L£VAHr> Barberra, D.A.R.E. AAA£RtCA recently EX£CUriV£ DiRtCTOR replaced Yogi Bear as D.A.R.E. s Dennis McBee, coordinator mascot when some zealous parof Drug and Alcohol Services at ents pointed out that Yogi steals UVM, takes his criticism one pie). step further. "Because many D.A.R.E. is lauded by districts will buy it lock, stock politicians of all stripes and and barrel, closing the door on funded by everyone from the other approaches, we're basically federal government to Fruit of putting all of our efforts in a the Loom to your local Elks program whose effectiveness has Club. So why are parents and not been proven by research." educators in Vermont and These same misgivings were across the country quietly wonwidely publicized this spring, dering if they dare just say no when the Journal of School to D.A.R.E.? Because, for all

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Health published a review of 47 school-based drug abuse prevention programs that lamented,'"most of the [prevention] money in this country is not spent on curricula proven to work, but on aggressively marketed programs that have not been evaluated or, worse, have been shown not to work." Most recently, researchers at this sum-

to make sure we have a state-of-the-art program." Chuck Balserus, a mentor in Vermont's D.A.R.E. training cadre, has seen the curriculum revised to include group learning activities and a new focus on resisting violence. A more frequently heard defense is that the critical studies looked at students who were only exposed to the "core" 17week program, rather than the comprehensive K-12 approach the organization endorses. "If you only taught a kid math in sixth grade and then tested them in twelfth grade, of course he'd fail," Ward reasons. If students only get the core

mer's American Psychological Association convention reported on a study showing that while exposure to D.A.R.E. may reduce the use of hard drugs among males, it fails to lessen males' or females' use of alcohol, tobacco or pot. D.A.R.E. proponents react to this criticism with a mixture of hurt and bewilderment. "I don't get it," D.A.R.E. Americas Executive Director, Glenn Levant, told The Seattle Times back in 1994. "It's like kicking Santa Claus to me. We're pure as the driven snow." D.A.R.E. advocates contend that criticism of the program is based on old studies and a curriculum that has since been updated. "We don't have a perfect program and we're not saying we do," D.A.R.E. America spokesman Ralph Lockridge asserts. "We'll do what we can

SEVEN DAYS rjrjrv

curriculum, argues Maureen Shepard, a Vermont Substance Abuse Prevention Specialist, IS it really fair to say D.A.R.E. isn't working or all the money we've invested isn't worth it?" Yes, says Fox. The studies may not have measured the ideal situation, but they do reflect the reality of how D.A.R.E. is being used in most schools. Faced with recent surveys showing increasing marijuana use among teenagers from 1991 through 1995, and lacking solid evidence that their work has effectively curtailed that trend, D.A.R.E. devotees point to

more modest and fuzzily defined advantages. "D.A.R.E. is the best thing that's happened to law enforcement for a long time," Balserus asserts. In a profession that focuses almost exclusively on negative situations, he says, "being with the youngsters is invigorating." Balserus himself found his experience as a classroom cop so satisfying that he turned in his badge. This week, he begins teaching science full time at Colchester Middle School. Though mid-life career changes like Balserus' are unusual, it's clear that D.A.R.E. officers love working with the kids, and that the informal, non-threatening interactions D.A.R.E. provides fosters closer ties between the police and their public. "D.A.R.E. officers are a very unique breed," attests Vermont D.A.R.E. Coordinator Ed Soychak. "They really care. They really enjoy what they're doing and they really believe that they're making a difference." Soychak hopes to bring the core program into the remaining one-third of Vermont elementary schools, and to extend its age range in communities that already subscribe. This fall, in Burlington, Ward will introduce a new, six-week course for parents. Meanwhile, parents and educators are beginning to re-examine their drug prevention priorities. In Chittenden South, a committee is investigating D.A.R.E. alternatives. "We're not antiD.A.R.E. or pro-D.A.R.E.," says Dana Scott, who's coordinating the effort. "We just want to be sure we're using the most effective tool." In Burlington, a similar process is planned for next year. But even if these districts decide that D.A.R.E. isn't their magic bullet, they're more likely to add to the program than eliminate it. One Charlotte mother, who has asked to have her child excluded from this year's D.A.R.E. sessions, puts it this way, albeit anonymously: "Here's this program that's supposed to be teaching you to assert yourself, and everyone s afraid to just say no to it." ®

page

uT>

WITH RICHARD SHINDELL in a benefit for the Peace & Justice Center S E P T E M B E R 2 1 ST, 7

PAMELA

POLSTON

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there's a new beginning, but this summer has brought a number of whompin' finales to the Burlington musicscape: the deaths of Zoot Wilson and Richard " T h e Clarinet Man" Haupt; the closing of the Last Elm Cafe. This week it's time to bid a fond farewell to both Java Love and Blue Couch Cafe. You can pay your respects at the latter's final open mike this Wednesday, and say goodbye to B.C. organizer Dawn Smith, who's heading to L.A. with "no specific job" before her. Smith tried valiantly to make a go of the Couch (nee Cafe No No), but, as they say in real estate, location is everything, and the corner of North and North Champlain apparently doesn't have it. Similarly, Paul Behrman has held the Java Love together with a combination of caffeine and, well, love — not to mention the energy of a buncha wacky tunesmiths. But it's over. T h e liquidation sale continues through Friday, and we're not talkin' coffee. I'll particularly miss Behrman's highly imaginative club listings for these pages — no one will ever call their evening's entertainment "tasty turtle tunes" or "scrumptious melody muffins" or "Night of a Thousand Ducks" again, I'm sure of it. Sniff.

Though it is different from the Elm, Couch or Love, at least there's a promising multi-arts space on College Street. W h o knows the shape of things to come at Rhombus?

FAIR AND SQUARE Things

couldn't get much hotter

for Austin's Wayne Hancock. Well, actually, they could. T h e vintage twangster — who stole away . bassist Bill Bratcher from Burlington's Buck & the Blackcats — is releasing a new C D , That's What Daddy Wants on Miles Copeland's label, Ark 21 Records. This week, reports Bratcher from Lake Tahoe, the band signed on for half a dozen dates opening for Z Z Top. And lo and behold, one of them is the Champlain Valley Fair! Bratcher, who says his bandmate is attracting "major-league interest" on their national tour, didn't expect to come home quite so soon, least of all for cotton candy and fried dough. But that's showbiz. Hancock's seven-piece swingabilly bottoms the Top this Friday at the Essex Junction Fairgrounds.

HOP HEADS Kyle "Fattie

Bumbailattie"

T h o m p s o n , rapper for Belizbeha and producer of the compilation Hop, introduces a neat little newsletter, also called "Hop," with news from the hippity front. For starters, Channel 1 5 will air

Continued

on page 10

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Hot Tuna in 1970, everyone may have thought it was just a side dish. But more than a quarter-century later, the Airplane — and the Starship — have crashed, while the Tuna continues to cook. Maybe it's because the band, now a fully electric five-piece, drew from deeper musical roots: the Delta blues, especially the music of the Rev. Gary Davis. With the full band cranked, though, the psychedelic strains of San Francisco creep in, not to mention the volume. Like the epithet Kaukonen and Casady wanted to name the band — Hot Shit — it still is. Hot Tuna perform at Charlotte's Old Lantern this Thursday for the Magic Hat Concert Series. God Street Wine opens.

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THURSDAY

WEDNESDAY

WILD BRANCH (bluegrass), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. N C . SAUDADE (Latin jazz), 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. $4. OPEN STAGE (acoustic; closing party), Burlington Coffeehouse at Blue Couch, 8 p.m. N C . CHAD H01LISTER (pop), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. $2. BIG HEAVY WORLD PRE-

SENIS TOAST UNPLUGGED W/SALAD DAYS, SARAH VALENTINE, ZOLA TURN, RIK PALIERI (acoustic), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $1/5. HEARTQUAKE (DJ Roberto Renna), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N C . KEVIN AGOSTI (rock), Nectars,

9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P. s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. ELECTRIC BLUE & KOSMIC TRUTH (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. N C . KARAOKE (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 7 p.m. N C . AL ALESSI (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N C . CHRISTINE ADLER TRIO (blues, r&b), Rio's, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2.

Continued page

SEVEN DAYS

PARROTHEAD PARTY (Jimmy Buffet tunage), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. N C . JAMES HARVEY & DAVE GRIPPO (jazz), Leunig's, 8 p.m. N C . OPEN HIKE NIGHT W / H A R K GALBO (jazz-blues), Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. N C . THE RETRO PALACE (DJ Psychotrope), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. DECA-DANCE ('80s & '90s DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. N C . GORDON STONE TRIO, CONSTRUCTION JOE (bluegrass/jazz, folk rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. NERBAK BROS, (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. N C . DEAD M A N ' S HAND (groove rock), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. N C . THE BROTHERHOOD (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. N C . AL ALESSI (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N C . SAND BLIZZARD (acoustic), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. N C . DANCE PARTY (DJ N o r m Blanchard), Cheers, 9 p.m. N C . TNT (karaoke), Thirsty Turtle,

on next page... august

2 7-,

19 97

advice Waterbury, 9 p m. NC. OWI HIKE, Gallagher's, Waitsfidd. 8:30 pan. NC. LOST UDOI YAlltt UM (bluegrass), The Brewslu, JefFersonville, 7 p-m. $2. FGH (classic rock), Charlie-os, Montpdier, 9 pan. N C 10BOSJBI (British/Irish traditional), Bellini's Restaurant, 7 pan. NC.

FRIDAY

BCKftKKflNUH (Western swing), Church Street Marketplace, noon. N C ABAK BtOi (rock), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 pan. N C l i t MJG6AIftRBBS (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. N C BIOOIE CNABOl ft HAH 6AUQ (contemporary), Cactus Cafe, 8 pan. N C M m (air-punk), The B Side, 8 pan. N C H W E I I i l (reggae/rock), Halvorsons, 10 p . m $4. SWFS i (Beach Boys tribute), Sweetwaters, 10 p.m. $5. MKEMBY(DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 9 pan. $4/5. •VCHf H « K «UL BOUT HOUILUB (altrock), Club Toast, 9-30 p.m. $3/5. SBHtACOVOff (blues), O u b Metronome, 9 pan. $4. JAMES Ol U » (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p m. N C O U S f f l f HfiZE KUKS KW, Manhattan Pizza, 10 p . m N C UIBQBOC (rock), J.P.'s, 9:30 pan. N C WHSKEY BBOtt BKAKHSI (Irish), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 pan. N C MBS ft COL (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. N C C0NE9T ZOK (stand-up), Radisson Hoed, 8 & 10 pan. $7. THE AAAMS (rock), Franny O's, 9:30 p.m. NC. IAKEMHY (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 9 pan. N C BUEJIT *«f (rock), Paches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N C WO ELHOtfftAU THAI JAZZ, Tuckaways, Sheraton Hotd, 9 p.m. N C MOOT DEAI (country dance & instruction), Cobbweb, Milton, 7:30 p.m. $5. KAWm JW JAZZ U S , Diamond Jim's Grille, Sc Albans, 8 pan. N C IM HUSK, Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 p.m. $5. IKK COU (acoustic), Three Mountain Lodge, Jcficrsonvilie, 6 p.m. N C A0G8SU BtOWl (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $2. BPI00I (reggae/worldbeat), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfidd, 9 3 0 p.m. $3. ftl KW, Gallaghers, Waitsfidd. 9 3 0 pan. $3. WHY 9WAIK (country), Charlie-os, Montpdier, 10 pan. N C ML RBKN (rock), Swany's, Vergennes, 9 p.m. N C

SATURDAY JOUE1UB (blues, r&b), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p . m N C CMS EASY (jazz-blues), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. N C JAMS a BAB (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N C 111 Hi MAIM (DJ dance party), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. GAS PtAKl SAIAIKCTS. CXAHAi nCN (pop/alt rock), O u b Metronome, 9 3 0 p.m. $3/5. KHKMOMI (DJ Craig MitcheO), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N C HAHC PBBU (groove rode), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. N C IlISI POSSE (bluegrass), Vermont Pub & Brewery,

SOBEL FAMILY CHIROPRACTIC Mention this ad for a complimentary consultation and exam. Find oat bow chiropractic can help yon reach

10 p.m. NC. KflSSftCO. (rock), Alky Cats, 9 3 0 pan. N C COMEVF ZME (stand-up), Radisson Hotd, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. KAIAME, Franny O's, 9 3 0 pan. N C UK 1AT MY (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N C BOB GESSB (jazz guitar), Tuckaways, Sheraton Hotd, 9 pan. N C JM BtAICA (acoustic blues), The Peat Bog, Essex Jet., 9 p.m. N C SOU (rock), Sh Booms, St. Albans, 8 p.m. $5. DANCE MOT (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 9 pan. N C MIL H B O (rock), Swany's, Vergennes, 9 p.m. N C AKNA BtOWl (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Wuerbury, 9 p.m. $2. UVE MW^Gallaghcrs, Waitsfidd, 9 3 0 p.m. $ 3 . N K PtESSRE (r&b, soul), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfidd, 9 3 0 pan. $3. UVE HOC, Rusty Nail, Stowe, 9 pan. $5- M BOON (rock), Charlie-os, Montpdier, 9 pan. N C

Dr. Steven Sobel 22 P a t c h e n R o a d . S o u t h B u r l i n g t o n • 6 5 v - 4 0 6 4

SUNDAY

Breakwater Cafe, 4 3 0 p.m. N C H1BI NVBi ft JEST I M (jazz brunch), Windjammer, 11 aan. N C U B S POT NASI (rock), Nectar's, 9 3 0 p.m. N C HQ BECOttS K M (dub/add DJ), d u b Metronome, 9 p.m. N C BI6IEJVY WOtlMHKt EYE Ntlttl SOMC BMK (CD release party), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $5. IW (karaoke & DJ), Thirsty Turtle, 8 pan. N C HOT CASEY (acoustic), LaBrioche Cafe, Montpdier, l l a . i n . N C OBMOBEAUS (acoustic guitar), Main Street Bar & Grill, 11 a.m. N C nUHlOIAZ (acoustic jazz/blues/folk), Stowe Coffeehouse, 11 a_m. N C

MONDAY ! (rock), Nectar's, 9 3 0 pan. N C HZZ HOMEBtEY I06HIW/JAZZ MMMUI PtOJECL O u b Metronome, 9 p.m. $6. BKIMNOC MKE H8SK (DJs), 135 Ptad, 10 p.m. $4. AUEYCAIJAM (blues), Alley Cats, 9 pan. N C

TUESDAY ! (rock), Nectar's, 9 3 0 p.m. N C RASfr BACK: HIS Of 1 1 (DJ), Club Toast, 10 p.m. No cover/$5 under 21. IfTIli HAfflftC1AJ6 MHCffil (house/soul DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N C B8ZZ WOa (DJ), Rasputin's, 10 pan. NC/$5. HHS ft COL (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9 3 0 pan. N C SVK KHI (instruction/dance/DJ), Cheers, 7 p.m. N C JAMES HAHEY ownn (jazz), Rio's, Winooski, 9 p.m. N C MECCA PANU (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, JeffersonviDe, 6 p.m. N C SHEftA HEKAIF (piano), Gallagher's, Waitsfidd, 8 p.m. N C

MAGtC

H / 0

N C E R T

R , E S

All clubs in Burlington unless otherwise noted. NC= Nm cower. Also look for "Sound Adoice'ot http:nwono.bighcarjworldcmmJsevem.dojs/

. - .VALENTINES DAY This Wednesday marks the

. o .. ''

last of Toast Unplugged, the series that* mingled

Hot

'" / 4•

Burfington-area bona fide foflries with rockers on

Tuna

with speciai guests GodStreetWine August 28

a night out sans amps. Joining locals Salad Days,

B3Q z.

Zola Turn and Rik Patieri for the finale is Sarah

Da -

Valentine, a veteran singer and spoken-word artist w h o * penned songs for showier names in the folk-pop-punk scene — from Rosearme Cash

More shows coming in the fall!

to Stereolab. d e n t i n e also wrote with Laura Tb<r Nyro, and compares both her style and influences with those of the late smget^songwriter. She cur-

Dancehall

rently hosts a show for the University of Massachusetts racfio station exploring the female K.I ?i»n£s 3oc

roots of American music. Go, g k L - -

S:V:N :ir'S

- . - . :

Continual an page 10

august

27,

1997

SEVEN NAYS

page

RHYTHM & NEWS

Continued from page 8

RISE C O C C I S R

"Hop Cable Access" throughout September (Sundays, 4-4:30 p.m.) — the show features computer animation interpretations of songs from the C D . "Hop" the newsletter (running short of tides, are we?) also presents a very short interview with stylin DJ Craig Mitchell, and informs us that Thompson is now accepting submissions for Hop: VoL II. Well, what are you waiting for? Hop to it.

We buy. PLUS WE CASH FOR

SINGLE TKACKS

198 C o l l e g e S t r e e t , B u r l i n g t o n • (802) 6 6 0 - 8 1 5 0

Burlington College Cinema Studies and Film Production

Sept. 6th,

is proud to present

E a*

Pressure Point David Giancola

Newly married

guy Jeff Howlett is now touting his first-born — that is, the second band on his young label, Pressure Point. Humans Being finagled a showcase at C M ] in

N e w Yodc at the Pyramid September 6. T h e following Friday its off to Bostons Middle East for a C D release party... I repotted o n these pages rccendy that the talented composer/keyboardist Linda Hudes and her husband, trumpeter/director Rik Albani, were planning to leave the Big Apple Circus after nearly two decades. Indeed, the couple resigned this month, but the good news is they've been signed to Chesky Records, and arc happily selecting music from an elephantine repertoire for The Best of the Big Apple Cirrus. The C D will be released in time for die BAC's opening at Lincoln Center October 2 3 . . . ®

BIOMIC

7&9pm

j B i g Heavy W>dd, compila-

a n e w fifan by Vermont Filmmaker

tion C D ) — T e c h n o is n o t

^ ^ m m ^ i b a f m i m c , but it doesn't want tn be, so

it. T h e latest

= T

s2 *. <o« Champlain College Alumni Auditorium 375 M a p l e S t r e e t . B u r l i n g t o n ^ ^ H

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Active Older Adults Diabetes Exercise Program: Call the YMCA for more information on this FREE program Arthritis Exercise Class: Water exercise in our 86°pool Classes offered Mon - Fn. $64, Y members $40. Plus: The YMCA offers land and water exercise, and strength-training classes just for folks over 50. Call for more information!

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Basketball Call for information on our youth clinics and leagues, men's 4-on-4, co-ed 3-on-3, teen and men's winter leagues.

Tumbling & Gymnastics musck. Mon/Wcd/Fn: 7 - 8 pm S72. Y members: $48. Splash Ml Tooc: WAr cxuusc cbssforallfilm.ss levels TucflThur, 9 - 10 am $59, Y member Free Tue/Thur630-730 pm, $59, Y members: $42 Water Aerobics: Fast-paced water vwrkout Man/Wed, 6 - 7 pm, $59, Y members: $42 Mon/Wed/Fri, 6:15 - 7:15 am, $99, Y member Free. Fjt'n'Fan: Water exoosc and games. Tue/Thur,6:15 7:15 am. $67, Y members: Free Exercise Mon/Wed,

Classes for 12 mos. - 3 yrs, 4 -5 yrs, and 6 - 12 yrs. Call for times and fees. Tumble A Splash Back-to-back gym and swim classes. Ages 2 & 3, with parent, Tues 9 - 9:55 am or SaL 1130-11:25 am. $62, Y members: $44. Ages 4 & 5, Sal. 11-1135 am. $69, Y members: $52.

Swim Lessons The YMCA offers swim lessons for children, teens and adults. CaHforclass levels, times a

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explore your inner self, develop your personality, and become an individual, just like everyone else at your school. Dorm (or apartment) decor is key for letting everyone know what you're all about. But if you're not yet sure, choose from the following list of archetypes and follow the decorating instructions.

JOCK

Bryan

Stratton

ollege is a time of great change and personal development. It is that one big step between freeloading off of Mom and Dad and actually having to bust your butt to make it in the real world. You have all the advantages of independence without any of the burdens of responsibility, which means you can

You greet fellow no-necked teammates with "Hey, sup?" You may have trouble remembering proper grammar or basic algebra, but you've got the slugging percentages of every member of the '86 Mets permanently etched in your cerebellum. Your room should be sparsely furnished but functional: a mattress (skip the

g u i d e t o d0TITI

frame: you'd just end up breaking it); colorful sheets that don't show stains; posters of sports heroes; a pennant or two; and some trophies. To save cash, throw your dirty laundry on the floor in lieu of buying a carpet. And your collection of beer bottles in the window will look so pretty when the sun hits it just right.

dGCOT

assortment of half-melted candles away from them. Remember, even Lestat was flammable. You'll need a bookcase for your volumes of Rimbaud, Poe, Keats and your own shitty poetry. Get a good stereo with SurroundSound,

must, as are little gargoyle statuettes. And make sure you've got a nice big makeup mirror, or your black eyeliner will go on all crooked.

PRINCESS You're still Daddy's Little

GOTH CHILDE You see a red door and you want to paint it black.

The author was forced to omit several other personality archetypes, such as the Obnoxious Texan, the Alternative God/dess, the Serious Student, the Militant Islamic Terrorist and the Charismatic Psychopath. Unfortunately, the custodial staff disagrees. So tack some dark tapestries up on the walls — but keep your huge

because Joy Division and The Sisters of Mercy don't have that deeply disturbing feel on anything less. Black lights are a

Girl, and it's a great gig. Since money's not a problem, take that MasterCard and charge! Regardless of whom you're sharing your bed with, when Daddy comes for a visit he should see it covered with huge plush animals (tickle this, Elmo) and a quilt with hearts or flowers on it. For the walls, posters of unicorns and glow-in-the-dark stars. Keep those high school yearbooks prominently displayed, right next to your hardcover copy of Winnie the Pooh and Charlottes Web. Little Christmas lights around the room are not only charming Continued on next page

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your desk. Your bookshelf should contain no more than three Bibles, and no more than one fetus in a little plastic bottle. That "Jesus Saves" bumper sticker ought to remain discreedy inside your closet door. Above all, your room should be neat. Completely, perpetually, disturbingly neat.

HIPPIE DIP College is your one chance to peace out and love your

SCI-FI/FAIUTASY JUNKIE You know what ID1C means, and you fantasize about one day being invited to Lady Sally's House. In fact, you fonea^ks about one day being invited anywhere. You'd better work extra hard on dorm decor, since you're going to be spending a lot of time there. Obviously, you need a TV and mini-satellite dish and VCR, since the dorm's lounge is often filled with jocks (see above). Posters, especially mechanical drawings of Star Trek and Star Wars ships are crucial. You've probably already got a Pentagon-busting computer set-up; just make sure you've got a really big hard drive, because those Monty Python sound files eat up disk space like you wouldn't believe.

THE FUN GUY You are the life of any party, due to your uncanny ability to

Snagging a big plastic statue o; Donkey Kong or any other pop icon is a real coup. adorn your walls, because they're funny, as well as pictures of naked women. Basically, the more scatologically humorous kitsch the better. Don't forget to bring a Nintendo, for camp value, and don't lay anything on your floor that can t withstand a liberal splash of Natty Light.

of being told how to live their lives. Oh, well. You know that you and God are right, but youll play it a little cooler than you would have 50 years ago. No gigantic crucifixes on the walls — that'll scare off visitors like they were vampires. Maybe a small, tasteful cross over the framed copy of Footprints on

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You re detimteiy ;he world. This i early Floyd CDs, and never to disturb everyc buy another album for the rest you like dirt since you of your life. Stock up on the five. Buy several issues incense and patchouli oil; youll magazine and make a collage need it. Finally, remember: If for your door. Protest loudly -its- not — made — - r otL hemp, - — its not when it is torn down. Gay, * afti porn centerfolds worth owning. are a must, as is a good collection of colored I'M H I R E A N D candles a a ^ f o r some reason, I ' M QUEER! feminist literature. Buy a Alright, you're out of the Philadelphia poster and burn it; closet. Maybe the movie obviously exploits and discredits the Q u e e r . , • ' Nation. Basically, be a ^ p l l l a> , your-face and obnoxious "The B i n Guy" (see above), but without the sense of , * , humor. Good luck. (?) g? ' (Note: Due to space limitathe author was forced to

You are the life of any party, due to your uncanny ability to constantly draw attention to yourself. You're lucky, because you won't actually have to purchase most of your room decor: Steal cardboard cutouts of celebrities (especially Elvis) from store entranceways.

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did to him. So grow that hair as long as yo can between Christmas and summer vacation, when your folks will make you cut it again, Get some black-light posters and colorful tapestries for the walls, Buy everything the Dead

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3^ yM

SEVEN DAYS Ufttl

A3 i l l

august ^ C ? t' I

27, ,

1997 3 ZU 5 UB

SUGARBUSH/STOWE STOWE/SUGARBUSH

USING ART AS A HEALING TOOL (WTPS 233, Burlington College)

By Glenn

Severance

elcome to college — and what may turn out to be the rest of your life. We, the good people of higher learning, have graciously given you three days to decide what path your life will take, after which time you must proclaim it to an appointed representative of the university at the gym or cafeteria or what ever the largest, most soulless building is on your campus. No, this is not Dante's first level of Hell. This is Registration. Be warned. Every decision you make from here on out will be scrutinized by everyone with whom you come in contact. So, for god's sake, choose your classes with care; know what you're getting into. This begins .with reading your course catalog carefully. Of course, we know this is too much to ask, so we've picked 'em for you. No, no need to thank us. Oh, one other thing: they all begin at 8 a.m.

ALIENATION & MADNESS IN MODERN LITERATURE

Your therapist won't return your calls anymore and, no matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to lick the doorknob enough. It's time to take matters into your own hands. Maybe an ashtray made of clay. Maybe a papier-miche head. Something, anything, to make the voices stop. Prerequisite: Parents who didn't hug you enough. BASIC GEOGRAPHY

(GEN lOl, Burlington College) The Earth is flat and everything in the universe revolves around it. Anyone who suggests otherwise is a heretic and will be punished by the Lord Almighty.

(WCIN 303, Burlington College)

Propose this topic to the ladies one night in a bar this winter and see where it gets you. Add it to your repertoire of pick-up lines. This class, regrettably, is only taught after last call in the room of a smooth-talking fraternity brother, and is only open to doe-eyed freshmen girls.

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In this class, Prozac is a four-letter word. The required reading list is overwhelming, including nearly every author to ever ink the page in this century. And it's taught in a half-circle of chairs surrounding a man in a white coat and a calm, steady voice. One recent alum of this course described it as going to Sunday School with the devil. There will be a 15minute break in the middle for those who need to take their meds. Prerequisite: 3 games of Russian roulette.

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There are only two things you'll need to take away from this class: (1) If it wasn't shot on Super-8, it didn't really happen, and (2) a general understanding of credit cards.

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THE PREVENTION & COMMUNITY LEADERSHIP SCHOOL

(PA 224, Middlebury College)

ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT AND LEARNING

This is the only class you'll ever be able to take in which, for your final, you can run around the room flapping your arms and squawking like a diseased bird, then drop down on the floor in a heap, staying there for the remainder of the exam, and still get an "A." An A+" if the title of your piece conveys contempt for American society.

(ED 270, St. Michael's College)

Study for a new career helping families and communities become healthy, vital and resilient.

MODERN DANCE

august

27,

1997

This class is sponsored in part by the good folks at Clearasil. Basic concepts in adolescence will be taught, like: "How to hate your parents, but still secure the use of Dad's car on Friday nights," "Surviving Continued

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CUSSES WE'D MOST LIKE Continued from page 15 braces," "How to get a friend to ask a girl out for you," and the definitive answer to: "It doesn't really make you go blind, does it?" PRACTICE TEACHING

(ED 424, St. Michaels College) You know the old saying, "Those who can't do, teach." Well, those who can't even do that should take this class and practice, practice, practice. PHOMATHOIHS FOR FUN & PROFIT

(Church Street Center) You need some extra cash. Sitting on Church Street all day begging for change while waiting for Trey to walk by just isn't bringing in enough dough to buy gas for your Pathfinder so you can get to the next show. Expand your enterprise a litde. Why bother people on the street when you could be learning advanced techniques for bothering them at home? Guest speakers include Jerry Lewis. INTRODUCTION T O DATA COMMUNICATIONS

(CS 307, St. Michaels College) Having trouble talking to the opposite sex? M ^ y o u _ should rethink your role in this whole human race thing. I T D C is the answer to failed personal relations. Can you say "zero?" Can you say "one?" You're on your way, Cyrano. Look on the bright side. Data don't make fun of you after you've left the room. Rudimentary typing is helpful, but not required. (Z)

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fl n any of the most l \ / l ' m P o r t a n t hooks in jL f J L my life were books I never read in college. This may sound like the start of one of

where, its hard-vinyl cover spiderwebbed with cracks, the whole of it molded into the convex shape of a small boy's buttock. The power of the printed word, man. I was a believer. After that, I got into nonfiction. The book that defined my boyhood was the Handbook for Boys, the official volume of the Boy Scouts of America. Its 568 pages practically amounted

to a home-extension course in how to be a dork, and early in the Decade of the Dork — the 1950s — I memorized every single page. Today, 40 years later, I can still tell you how to differentiate between a bison and an antelope if you're out on the grasslands. Approach me at a cocktail party — no, I'll approach you — and work the conversation around to how to make Bean

Hole Beans, and I'll take it from there: "Build a fire in a hole and get a hole full of hot coals. Place beans, bacon and molasses (see page 322) in a covered pot — excuse me, am I goddam BORING YOU?!" My sons have been deeply respectful of my knowledge of such field skills as Cooking with a Buddy and Diagnosing a Pain in the Abdomen. In fact, that's the "Indian" name they've

affectionately bestowed on me: Pain in the Abdomen. My introduction to collegelevel literature occurred the day my parents and I stepped into my dorm room in my freshman year at the land-grant university. And again, my mother was a featured performer in the drama. Mom took one look at the rows of paperbacks that my roommate had already unpacked, and had to be

LET US NOW PRAISE FAMOUS BOOKS Or, how an unlettered college student learned to love

those nauseating Robert Fulghum best-sellers, but in my case it happens to be true: To the best of my memory, I never actually read a book in college. I think in particular of the first book that made an impact on me, as it were. It was called The Little Engine That Could. I slipped it down the back of my pants one day as a little kid, before I went after some of my mother's marshmallow-fudge rice cakes that she'd squirreled away for a pinochle party. Mom caught me kneeling on the kitchen counter, as I'd feared she might; measured her stroke, slapped me a good one on my ass, and broke her wrist. I still have that edition some-

reading

The book that defined my boyhood was the Handbook for Boys, the official volu me of the Boy Scouts of America. Its 568 pages practically amounted to a homeextension course in how to be a dork.

revived with smelling salts. Her literary exegesis, as I now understand it, went as follows: paperback books = dirty books. This was the Midwest, some time ago. I think she would have belted the guy, except that her wrist was in a sling. I took my mother's concerns seriously. I flipped through every one of my new roommate's titles — all 478 of them — to make absolutely sure about the presence of pornographic content. I did this quite openly and candidly: in broad daylight when my roommate was in class, at 3:30 a.m. with the help of my Continued

on page 24

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THE LIGHT STUFF By Rachel

Esch

hen it comes to illumination, most of us flick the switch without giving it much thought. But for a more discriminating homeowner, antiquefixturesprovide a way to bring in some history along with the light. Old homes abound in Vermont, so antique fixtures may be "the most appropriate lighting device to use in one's decor," says Stephen Conant, owner of Conant Custom Brass in Burlington, who has been restoring antique lighting, including fixtures in the Statehouse, since 1979. Despite the increasing popularity of antique lights, Conant says they are often cheaper than contemporary counterparts, and usually better made. "A lot of attention went into their design, and I think most antique lights have a form and balance in the fixture that seems to be lacking today," he adds. A plethora of styles is available — firom turn-of-the-century to retro '50s — and since antique lights were designed to be taken apart, they can typically be lengthened or shortened to fit any space. The most common styles now accessible were made between the 1920s and 1940s; anything earlier has most likely been collected, Conant explains. Those produced later are still being discarded. In looking for lighting, Conant advises strapping in antique stores outside metropolitan areas — where prices are high and selection is low — or browsing flea markets

and yard sales. But bargain shoppers beware: The increasing demand for antiques in the face of a dwindling supply means the market is flooded with reproductions. Although some fauxfixturesare wellmade, says Conant, many customers are disappointed to

learn that their cherished chandelier dates back only a "Reproductions have been around so long they're often mistaken for antiques," he says. "Customers come in probably every week [with reproductions] and, if it seems appropriate, we'll 'enlighten' them." Specialty antique hardware shops like Conant's are also a good source for antique lighting. This Burlington company's selection isregularlysupplemented by the owner's own scavenger hunts at roadside sales, where he picks up parts and unfinished fixtures. Conant stocks at least 750 rough o r restored antique light fixtures, and more than 2000 class shades and oil lampr o

chimneys, which help capture the look of the original antique. Although antiques can be pricy to restore, Conant believes it's money well spent. "Antique lighting appreciates rather than depreciates," he notes. "The availability of antique lighting will only become more scarce, so it's a good investment." Conant estimates a refinished dining room fixture can cost from $150 to $400, while raze lighting styles like gas lights range from $300 to $800. An original candle-burning fixture can set you back ' more than a grand. Conant's business provides restoration • services such as repair• ing, refinishing. ' rewiring and parts i replacement — but he'll coach an ambitious amateur fixerupper through the process. Conant warns that old wiring and sockets are not to be trusted, that all antiques should be retrofitted with ground wires, and, for the non-electrically inclined, rewiring should be left to experts. The ability to put back together whatever you've taken apart is also handy. Whether you refinish a light yourself or purchase one ready for use, Conant says the real pleasure come from basking in the glow of an antique. "One of the fun things of living with an antique is the history," he says, "and [imagining] what conversations have gone on under that light, what documents were signed, or secrets told." © This is the last installment of "Antique

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Bente Kahan "Voices from Theresienstadt"

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Borromeo String Quartet

FEBRUARY 11

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The Acting Company Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

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Dan Laurin Baroque Trio

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DECEMBERS

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"A Victorian Christmas" with W i l l e m Lanpe and the Catamount Sb^CTS

Solas w b h Martin Hayes and Dennis Cahdl

MARCH 27

DECEMBER 10

Andre EmehanofT, Cello

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dance TREE SPIRIT DANCE 1 : Mow: your body — and sptnt-— to nwtar at Eanh Dance Healing Aits Snadio. Otace M3L Burlington, 7:30 pan. $5. Info, 8639828. C O N T A C T IMPROV: The Budingpm Contact l u y w i v m o n Group hosts an evening of waim-ups, tiuptovisai ii m games and infonnal instruction. Memorial A m f a a n — i Lo6, Burlington, 7:15 p m . $1. Info, 860^3674.

Dye, Director, 802/864-4872.

page

1936

S E V I I BAYS

drama

'LITTLE S H O P O F HORRORS': The Stowe Theater Guild stages the twisted comedy about a naive detk and his two loves — erne a bleached blonde, the other a man-eating plant. Stowe Town Hall, 8 pan. S10. Info, 253-3961. 'PLUM POTPOURRT: Acdaimed Boston actress Paula Plum offers contrasting character plays. UnadSa Theatre, Calais, 8 pan. $10. Info, 4 5 6 8 9 6 8 . 'BLACK COFFEE 1 : Denxrivc Hercule Fount makes the coflce connection in this original thriller by Agatha Christie. Dorset Playhouse, 2 & 8 pun. $17-26. Info, 867-5777.

'PHAEDRA*: Matthew Maguiie reworks the incestuous Greek myth into a Dallasl i e drama about wealth and power Gtecn Candle T h e m e Company perfonns at The Theater at Magpc Hat. Burlington, 8 pan. $5-15- Info, 8635966. ' S H O W BOAT* AUDITIONS: Lyric Theater is looking for cast and ctew for the dasac American musical S M w t Learn mote about die show at Mann Hall, THnky College, 7:30 pura. Free. Info, 864-4872. ' L U m M A CANZONE 1 : This mntder mystery is billed as the "sequel to CosmUtmca." Ricks American Cafe serves POETRY READING: "Tiavd journals Italian at Villa Tiagara, Watetbuiy, 6:30 and Tales," hosted by Matk Rekar, fcap m . $38. Info. 244-5288. cures "on the toad" works by several

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august 27 - September 3 An open reading fellows at 9 p.m. Gallery, 186 College St_ 7 3 0 p.m. $1-5. Info, 6521103. tRlME & PUNISHMENT: How does ® individual, a family or a society handle 'W who transgress its rules or laws? H>rr and After by fwrli ii Browne is ^ subfect of a book discussion. (owe H*»y. 7 3 0 pjn. Free. Info. 253-6145-

kids

^ORIES: Children listen, snack and »ft at the Children's P^es, Winooski, 'ion. Free. Info, 655-1537. TIME. IGds get an earful at W m a n & Bern Booksellers, Kington, 10 ajn. Free. Info, 862532

Register, 229-6206. CHAMPLAIN VALLEY FAIR; The state's largest fair offers agricultural, commercial and artistic entertainment. A teallife rodeo starts at 7:30 pjn.for$7. Champlain Valley Fairgrounds, Essex junction, 9 a.m. - midnight. $7 or half price before noon. Info, 878-5545. m T E R F R O N T MARKET MEETING: The public is invited to this gathering of food vendors, farmers, crafters to disrtro progress on a proposed waterfront market. Burlington City Hall, 7 pjn. Free. Info 658-9974. STARGAZING: Get a good galactic look at the Milky % tfks cloudy, there will be a slide show instead North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 8 pjn. $6.

COMMUNITY SUPPER: Vegetarians turned out of the Last Elm Cafe meet without meat at Battery Park. Budingtoi 7 p m. $3. Bring a bowl and silverware. Info. 651-1603. 'HEARTY SOLES' WALK: join a weekly mile-long walkforfun and fitness that leaves from the Community Health Center, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 864-6309. FARMERS MARKETS: Local produce and crafts are available at the Champlain Mill parking lot in Winooski, 3:30-7:30 pjn. Info, 655-9477. And at Rusty Patkaer Park, Wambuiy; 3-6 pjn. Info, 479-9701. Free. BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT

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GROUPS: Women Helping Bancred Women facilitates a group in Burlington 6:30-8 pjn. Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the Shelter Committee facilitates a meeting in Washington County, 1-2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 479-9310.

music J O H N N Y RIVERS: The Grammy winner samples his rock n* roll reprctoire. Champlain Valley Fairgrounds, Essex Junction, 7-30 p.m_ Free with $ 7 fair admission. Info, 878-5545.

drama

PHAEDRA': See August 27. 'LITTLE S H O P O F HORRORS': See August 27. 'PLUM POTPOURRI': See August 27. 'BLACK COFFEE*: See August 27, 8 pjn. IMPROV1SATIONAL COMEDY NIGHT: The Kamikaze Comedy gestions for an evening of spontaneous humor. Breakers, S. Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-2069. T H E HEIRESS* : Sam Lloyd plays the lead in this psychological potboiler about a shy, plain young woman who falls in love with a charming young fortune hunter. Weston Playhouse, 8 pjn. $23. Info, 824-5288.

words

PARTICIPATORY HAIKU N I G H T : Bring a notebook to this Japanese-inspired literary happening. Mark Pekar hosts at Rhombus Gallery, Budington, 7:30 pan. $1-5. Info, 6521103.

DiSpirito sign their visual history o f Budington. See "to do" list. Book Rack, Winooski, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0231. 'FASHIONS IN HISTORY: A talk about fashion as a "mirror of the timesfocuses on the changing roles of women in conjunction with the exhibit "From Bolt to Bodice: Clothing Addison County Women, 1830-1920." See "to do" list. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 7:30 p.m. Free. Register, 388-2117. D I N N E R CRUISE: Mona's cooks up a floating feast on Lake Champlain. Leaving from the King Street Dock, Budington, 7-9:30 p.m. $35- Info, 863-5966. V E N T U R E N E T W O R K MEETING: The editor of Vermont Woodlands discusses the economics of die environment. Radisson Hotel, Budington, 8 10 a.m. $15. Register, 658-7830. TOASTMASTERS MEETING: Develop communication and leadership skills through practice in public speaking. Econolodge, S. Budington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 878-3550.

Z Z T O P : The Texas-bora trio makes a "top" stop on its Mean Rhythm Global Tour. Wayne Hancock opens. Champlain Valley Fairgrounds, Essex Junction, 7:30 p.m. $30. Info, 878-5545. CAJUN & BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: Three clays of Cajun-flavored food, music and dance feature over a dozen acts, including C.J. Chenier and the Red Hot Louisiana Band. Stepping Stone Ranch, Escoheag, R-I-, 6 p.m. $15 for tonight- Info, 401-351-6312.

'PHAEDRA': See August 27. 'LITTLE S H O P O F HORRORS': See August 27'PLUM POTPOURRI': See August 27. •BLACK COFFEE*: See August 27, 8 p.m. ' T H E HEIRESS*: See August 28.

film T H E W O R L D O F APIT: Satyajit Ray directed this film about love, despair and spiritual regeneration. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 8 &

8084 8/30

film

STORY H O U R : Toddlers listen to stories at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 ajn. Free. Info, 893-4644.

T H E WORLD OF APU: See August 29.

etc

CHAMPLAIN VALLEYfiUR:See August 27. Today kids get in for $1. Z Z T o p plays tonight. See the listing under "music" BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: See August 27, Burlington, 9:30-11 a j n . SENIOR SWIM: Folks over 50 exercise in an 86-degrce pooL YMCA. Burlington, 2-4 pjn. Free. Info, 862-9622. LESBIGAY Y O U T H SUPPORT MEETING: Lesbian, bisexual, gay and "questioning* folks under 2 3 are welcome at Outright Vermont, Budington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800452-2428. O P E N FENCING: Make your point forfitness.Memorial Auditorium Annex, Burlington, 6:30-9 pun. $3Info, 865-1763.

music

STORY: There is No Such Thing as a monster under the bed. Kids deal with die dark at Barnes & Noble Bookstore, S. Budington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 8648001.

Open Fii&SaL 8 pm-closing

kids

OLD-TIME CHILDREN'S DAY: Kids get a taste of pre-TV farm life — and ice cream. See "to do" list. Billings Farm & Museum, Woodstock, 10 ajn. - 5 pjn- $7. Kids under 12 get in free with an adult. Info, 457-2355STORIES: The over-three crowd listens at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a j n . Free. Info, 865-7216.

etc

CHAMPLAIN VALLEY IAIR: See August 27. A demolition derby starts at 7:30 p.m. and costs $7. 'BENEDICT ARNOLD'S G U N B O A T : The bottom o f Lake Champlain is scattered with treasures that date hack to the Revolutionary W u . See video footage o f the most recent discovery at the Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Budington TOterfront, 1 2 3 0 p j n . $2. Info, 864-1848. BENEFIT YARD SALE: Pick through

drama

CHAMPLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See August 27. Grammy Award-winning Johnny Rivers sings at 7:30 p.m. See the listing under "music." 'IMAGES OF AMERICA: BURLINGTON': Vermont authors David Robinson and Mary Ann

525-3031.

FRI D A Y

kids

etc

10:30 pjn. $1-5. Info, 652-1103.

music CAJUN & BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: See August 29, I I ajn. - midnight, $28.

dance

C O N T R A DANCE: Mary Des Hosiers calls for the Unusual Suspects. Capitol G t y Grange, Montpdia, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 426-3734.

drama

'PHAEDRA*: See August 2 7 , 2 & 8 p.m. LITTLE S H O P O F HORRORS': See August 27. 'PLUM POTPOURRI*: See August 27, $12.50. 'BLACK COFFEE 1 : See August 2 7 , 4 & 8 J O pjn. ' T H E HEIRESS-: See August 28, 3 & 8 pjn. $19 & $26. T H E AMERICAN SLEEP*: The political puppeteers take on the topic of "Maximum Security Democracy" in a new show at Bread & Puppet Theater, Glover, 7:30 p.m. $6. Info,

; to benefit the National Abortion Rights Action League. 3 2 3 College S t , Budington, 8 ajn - 6 pjn. Free. I n f o 6584)710. MEATLOAF SUPPER: Chow down in summer style at a home-cooking meal of meatloaf, com on the cob and fresh potatoes. Richmond Congregational Church, 5 3 0 p j n . $6.50. Info, 434-2053. M A D RIVER VALLEY CRAFT FAIR: Savvy shoppers survey juried crafts from all over N e w England- Kenyon s Field, Waitsfidd, 10 ajn. - 5 p.m. $2. Info, 496-3409. FARMERS MARKETS: Look for Vermont-grown agricultural products and crafts on the green at Budington City Hall Park, 8:30 ajn. - 2 3 0 p.m. Info, 453-2435. Or at City PSirk, Vergennes, 8 3 0 a j n . - noon. Info, 877-0080. Free.

SU N DAY

$28. VINCE GILL: The Grammy-winning vocalist offers slow country ballads, uptempo tunes and superb guitar work. Champlain Valley Fairgrounds, Essex Junction, 7 3 0 pjn. $25-28. Info, 878-5545. N E W W O R L D FESTIVAL: Celebrate Vermont's Cdtic and French-Canadian roots with traditional musk and dance on five stages. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, noon - midnight. $12. Info, 728-9133. CHAMBER CONCERT: T h e local QxeBi, Debussy and George Crumb on oboe, violin and piano. Rochester Federated Church, 3 p m . Free. Info, 767-3012.

drama

'PLUM POTPOURRI*: See August 27, $12.50. •BLACK C O F F E F : See August 2 7 , 8 T H E HEIRESS*: See August 28, 7 p m . $19. T W O O N E A C T S : Forget Ahout Me, by Debra NefF, is a Thebna and Louise update on the Breakfast Qmk A staged reading of Jennifer Bfoomfidd's Water People stars G o i Amori, Walt Levering, Aaron Root and Nancy McGffl T h e Theater at Magic Hat, Burlington, 7 p.m. $8. Info, 863-5966. CARDBOARD CIRCUS: Tkpieract out old and new circus tricks. BreadfitPuppet Theater, Glover, 7 3 0 p.m. $6. Info, 525-3031. WAKE FOR WILLIAM BURROUGHS*: Local literati mourn for William Burroughs via archival recordings of the Beat writer reading his works. Rhombus Gallery, 8 p m . $1-5Info, 652-1103-

etc

CHAMPLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See August 27. Vince Gill plays with Bryan White tonight at 7 3 0 p j n . See listing under "musk." M A D RIVER VALLEY CRAFT FAIR: See August 3 0 , 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. LABOR DAY PICNIC: The Addison County Progressives host a musical p k n k with words from Congressman Bernie Sanders, State Senator Elizabeth Ready and other pals. Middlebury on the Green, 4-7 p m . Free. Info, 3887214.

music CAJUN & BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL. See August 29, 11 ajn.

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27.

1997

MONDAY LABOR DAY

drama

'PLUM POTPOURRI': See August 27. T W O ONE-ACTS: See August 31.

etc CHAM PLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See August 27. Catch the tractor and truck pull at 1 p.m. for,$l 1 on the last day of the fair.

T W O ONE-ACTS: See August 31. ' T H E HEIRESS': See August 28, 8 p.m. $19. LYRIC THEATRE WORKSHOP: Actors interested in auditioning for the fall production of Show Boat get prepped in Mann Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-4872. 'PLAYS IN PROGRESS': Burlington's foremost playwrights read from their works-in-progress. Rhombus Gallery, 8 p.m. $1-5. Info, 652-1103.

OPEN REHEARSAL: The Amateur Musicians Orchestra welcomes new players in the Music Room, S. Burlington High School, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 985-9750.

drama

WEDNESDAY

dance STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

BASEBALL GAME: The Vermont Expos take on the Lowell Spinners. Centennial Field, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. $3. Info, 655-6611.

music

Practice public speaking in conference Room 2, Blue Cross-Blue Shield Building, Berlin, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-5757. FARMERS MARKET: Get it fresh at the Wheeler School, Burlington, 3:306:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-0255.

QUILTERS GUILD MEETING: This serious sewing circle welcomes new members at the Essex Alliance Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2160. TOASTMASTERS MEETING:

TREE SPIRIT DANCE': See August 27. CONTACT IMPROV: See August 27.

drama LYRIC WORKSHOP: See September 2. Early auditions can also be arranged. T H E HEIRESS': See August 28, 3 P - m . $23. 'ARCADIA': Northern Stage performs Tom Stoppard's century-spanning who-done-it about the changing faces of society, science, landscape and love. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 864-2787.

words BOOK DISCUSSION: What is the

character of Vermont and how have various writers captured it? Walter Hards A Mountain Township gets discussed at the S. Hero Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 372-6209. 'POETRY REUNION': Poets represented in the two-year-old chapbook entitled Anti-Atomic Kamikaze Zero read old and new works at Rhombus Gallery, 7:30 p.m. $1-5. Info, 6521103.

August 27. FARMERS MARKETS: See August 27. BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: See August 27. LESB1GAY YOUTH ZINE MEETING: Lesbian, bisexual, gay and "questioning" folks under age 23 gather monthly to publish a Burlington, 7 p.m, Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

STORIES: Children listen, snack and craft at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537. STORY TIME: Kids get an earful at Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 8624332.

BASEBALL GAME: See September 2. Join the United Way Campaign kickoff before the game: Dr. Jazz and the Dixie Hot Shots play starting at 5 p.m. $6 includes a reserved seat for the ballgame.

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3:30 a.m. with the help of my flashlight pen, etc. The inescapable conclusion was that, unless you considered Kahlil Gibran to be a smuthound, Mom missed the mark laughably: my roomie, from the flat farmlands of central Illinois, was an even greater dork than I. I telephoned my mother with the good news, and in the second semester of that year I found another roommate. As for my college curriculum itself, I cannot honestly recall reading a single book during those four years. That's a funny thing for a professional writer to admit, isn't it? Ha-ha. I must have read a few. Books were issued; I'm certain of that — I recall reselling them at semester's end: And r— now that I memory to Proustian exactitude, bits and wisps of certain passages are starting to float to the surface of my consciousness. I recall reading something about the marginal propensity to consume. And something about the Indus River, Yes, the Indus. I remember joking about the Indus River on the steps of the library one evening to a young woman whom I

was interested in dating. An intellectual joke, come to think of it. One that I made up. It had to do with the particular >><• • • • m> m<mm*m*m*mm*nww*>t

lorn took one LOO the rows ofpapertcks that my roomit? had already )acked, and had to revived with \lling salts. Her wry exegesis, as I row understand ity ?ent as follows: yerback books books. kinds of trees that grew along the Indus River. Indus trees. Indus-tries, get it? INDUSTRIES! I now recall reading another book: Dating Tips for Dorks. Okay, cut to the chase. By now you are wondering how an erudite guy like myself » t t managed to overcome the hortatory black hole of his college career and achieve the verbal insouciance that allowed him to become the author of several published works that few people alive or dead have ever heard of. I'll tell you how. True story: I went into newspapering

I fired back a letter saying, oh yeah? The hell I hadn't read it; of course I'd read it; I'd practically memorized it. Then I went out and bought it and read it. Hmm. It was about these Alabama sharecroppers. And then I felt Agee reach out from the text and grab me by the throat and roar at me: "Who are you who will read these words and study these photographs, and through what cause, and by what chance and for what purpose, and by what right do you qualify to...?" And that was it. All she wrote, as it were. I started reading that day. And I'll keep on reading until I figure out the answer to that question. ® S i i t l l l i t t te

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after college, a job that, okay, I'll admit it, required absolutely no proof of literacy whatever. Eventually made it to Chicago. Got a column there. All right; it was a television column. One day I flavored a piece I was writing with a neat phrase I'd heard somewhere: "Let us now praise famous men." A few days later an angry reader wrote to me that I lacked the depth and the moral intelligence to rip off the title of James Agee's great 1941 book, a book that clearly I had

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on my childhood rationalization by thinking about the fact that George Bush jumped last year at age 74. But, given my opinion of the former President, it didn't help much. Instead, I placed my trust in Ole Thomsen, the owner of VSA and a merry jumpster who's remained in one piece after more than 4400 skydives — a quarter of them strapped to novices like me. Unlike Bush, who jumped solo over his home state of Texas, Thomsen and I were scheduled to jump tandem from 10,000 feet above the Champlain Valley, using an oversized parachute built for two. Thomsen inspires confidence not only with his experience but with a mix of earnest instruction and light-hearted reassurances, like, "I've got plans for tonight, too."

You never lose your butterflies, you just get them to fly in formation.

Now I'm quite a bit older and, I hope, wiser. But this week I found myself putting on a jumpsuit and wondering what I was doing at Vermont Skydiving Adventures in West Addison. I was tempted to try

To paraphrase this jumpmaster, for first-timers looking to find out why the birds sing, tandems give you both the adrenaline-pumping free fall as well as a ride under the canopy. Beginners can also do a static line jump — really a "hop and

pop" — where your cord and chute open automatically without the free-fall experience. Or, with a greater investment of time and money, one can enter an "Accelerated Free Fall" program and become a licensed skydive r. As a tandem passenger with an experienced jumper, however, there's not much need for training, except to make sure you can let go of the plane at high altitude and then execute

an "arch" — really a controlled belly-flop — in the air. "You're like a badminton birdie," Thomsen explained before we got into the small single-engine prop plane. "Your center of gravity becomes the rubber tip." Stick your butt out instead of your belly, and you'll at least be facing the right way to pray. Style points for my arch, however, were the least of my worries. As the Cessna 182 took

off and climbed higher, the palms of my hands grew clammy and my mind started the real game. At 4000 feet, the door opened to drop off a static-line student with an adrenaline addiction. Looking out the door, I was overcome with an image of falling from the plane without a parachute, and I inched back into the recesses of the plane. Continued

on page 26

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Left alone with the pilot and my jump partner, I asked Thomsen what he tells nervous people — "Not that I need it," I lied. "Breathe deeply and try to enjoy the scenery," he responded. But when I peeked out the window, my head began to swim. I began to look for large bodies of water. A healthy dose of fear as well as managing one's emotions are a big part of this sport, say skydivers — who for this reason have coined the expression, "You never lose your butterflies, you just get them to fly in formation." I'm not sure what pattern my butterflies were in as we approached our drop spot; I just hoped they wouldn't soil my BVDs. At 10,000 feet above sea level, the door opened and sent not just terflies but my heart afluttering. A strong survival instinct tried to persuade me that I didn't want to do this, after all. But somehow, in a moment of superhuman clarity, I managed to see the great emptiness below as just anoth#Environment to be negotiated — not that much different from the sea or the

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ing the postage-stamp drop zone that was really a 400-acre farm. A few hundred feet above the runways and landing areas of VSA, we made a few S-turns to "bleed" off altitude and prepare to land. "Flaring" the canopy to slow our momentum just before impact, we hit the ground -— somewhat harder than a feather, but no more than jumping off the stoop of a house* Once on the ground, I thanked Thomsen effusively for guiding me safely through the skies. I had an inexplicably strong desire to describe the feeling of free fell, but I couldn't do better thari what one tandem jumper remarked, "I can't believe you guys do this for a living. I'm in the wrong business!" As I headed to my car, Thomsen couldn't resist launching the favorite line of a skydiver extraordinaire, "Drive safe now — it's the most dangerous part of your day. " Hes right, actually speak* ing. But getting into my Toyota sure felt different than out of his Cessna. ®

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fall. Fear was suddenly replaced with an adrenaline rush, as exhilarating as the cool air around us. The 45 seconds and 5000 vertical feet go by all too quickly, and Thomsen signalled that it was time to pull the ripcord. Right on schedule the parachute deployed — the only scare was when the quick decrease in velocity, to about 20 mph, gave me the momentary feeling that we were headj n g b ac k Up. Under the canopy, Thomsen too was transformed, from Mad Max to amiable tour guide. Sharing the controls, we took in the panorama of mountains and lakes as we floated almost imperceptibly downward.

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"In this field, it's caveat empBurlington-area father, the director of a child-care cen- tor" ter, ter, who used Masons Mason's serserMost educational consulvices. "But I didn't want to tants cater to clients on the make such a crucial decicusp of college. From offices in sion without learning as tony suburbs, they sell the much as possible and getgrease that might enable bright ting an objective evaluation." This parent is satisfied that his 16-year-old jhter is now receiving appropriate help at an institution "out West" that Mason recommended. The Harvardeducated consultant has a further advantage over the By K e v i n Web in that he Kellgy offers customized services. Mason but not brilliant students to en Masons profession didfirst assesses a child's particular slide into the most prestigious n't exist a decade ago. Today, situation and then attempts to schools. Tips on tailoring however, his South Burlingtonmatch the individual's needs admissions essays are among based firm, with offices in with a specific treatment facilithe services they dispense. Boston and Montreal, can -v ty, based on his own on-site Information on graduate .barely keep pace with the burinspections and interviews. school options is now widely geoning demand for its serAlthough he emphasizes the offered as well, while some vices. .: " limitations of the Internet, consultants help parents select Ben Mason is an educationMason is not at all technophoa summer camp or suggest how al consultant specializing in the bic Indeed, his firm is current- a year off from academia can placement of troubled adolesly building its own Web site best be spent. cents in "restructuring" instituwhere, at about $5 a pop, "It's my devout belief that tions. Families typically turn to browsers will be able to access you can't be good at all these him and his associates for brief evaluations of various things," Mason says. That's advice when more familiar facilities. resources — guidance counThrough his selors, psychologists, behaviorfrequent travels modifying medication — have and interviews failed. In their often-desperate during the past search for new ways of alleviatfive years, Mason ing their children's crises, parhas assembled a ents want dependable informadata bank that tion and expert guidance on few riyals can what to do next. match. They have literally hunNationally, only dreds of facilities and treatment about 20 consulapproaches to choose among. tants share his Residential rehab centers, specialty, Mason wilderness programs and other says. And just sorts of therapeutic environone other advisor « . „ o n e Ol "rents are springing rup all over r . ,1 „ » or the same sort the country, Maspn notes, as is doing business more and more American in New England. youth prove unable to The general in traditional middle-la field of educahigh-school settings. deal of data about t nate settings are insi ly available in the pi ones home. But "yc believe everything tl Internet," Mason p< nor can a computer personal touch that His clients are seekin "I was aware of 5 choices out there," s

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SCHOOL DAZE Continued from page 27 their way than from "working with someone who's torn between Dartmouth and Brown. "I take a very conservative approach" in weighing the needs of clients and in linking them with programs, Mason adds. He consults with some families for as long as two years, putting together detailed client profiles through discussions with educators, therapists, relatives and, of course, the children themselves. "I'm trying to insure that the cycle of failure comes to an end," he explains. Only a small segment of society can afford Mason's services and the resources to which he refers families. Although he would not discuss his fee scale, sources say he works on a retainer basis entailing payment of $1250 for 10 hours of his time. That's small change, though, in comparison to the tuition charged by the specialized institutions that many of Mason's clients attend. Their yearly costs "range from the mid-20s to the high-90s," he notes. Insurance covers a portion of these expenses in certain cases, and Mason says he does "a lot of pro bono work." But he readily agrees that his clientele is heavily concentrated among the upper classes. The teens he sees are often suffering "problems springing from entitlement, of having too much, of lacking limits." Their ranks are expanding, he suggests, for "cultural reasons." Many are wounded by divorces, and have engaged in "drug experimentation that's gone too far." Mainstream education has not given these youngsters what they need, Mason says, adding, however, that "very often this is not the fault of the schools them-

making dramatic progress during the past eight months, Iocono says, praising Mason's "invaluable help" in setting Rory on a promising course. Placing a child in a school hundreds of miles from his or her Vermont home is a standard outcome of Mason's consultation. He says there is only one institution in the state — the Bennington School — to which he might refer his insure that the clients, and he has used that resource only once. The vast majority of these specialized facilities are situated in the Western mountain states and in the Deep South, with only a handful operating in the w to an « Northeast. Regulations are not as exacting in the Sunbelt, — Ben Mason where there is also a greater Educational consultant willingness to sanction unconventional modes of treatment. "In New England, the climate Rory experienced increasing difficulty in elementary school. is very hostile philosophically" to the types of alternatives "His I Q level was very high,Mason recommends. but his performance level was A former director of the very low," notes his mother, Shelburne Museum, Mason is "and this made him more and himself well-versed in the culmore frustrated and angry." In ture and philosophy of middle school, Rory got Vermont. He lives in involved in gang activities and Charlotte, and one of his two what Iocono describes as other teenage sons attends public "semi-adult bad situations." school there. The other is Though separated from enrolled in the private Gailor Rory's father, she says the famiSchool in Middlebury. ly has remained on generally Unsurprisingly perhaps, firm footing. Iocono's three Mason is a strong proponent of other children have not preeducational choice — so much sented challenges nearly as acute, she says. Rory's crisis was so, in fact, that some public taking place "in a caring home, school advocates in Vermont view him as an enemy. which shows that this sort of But citing his service on a thing does cut across all those borders." state public education standards panel, he frames the After moving to Peacham choice issue in non-confrontafrom Cape Cod, Margaret tional terms. "I'm convinced Iocono got in touch with Ben that presenting a full range of Mason. "We'd been through parental options would benefit the tutors and the counselors, and none of that was working," both the public and private systems," Mason declares. "All she explains. kids have special needs, and no Mason eventually recomsingle approach can meet them mended that Rory attend New all." ® Dominion School, a wilderness-oriented facility in Virginia. Her son has been

selves.", . Learning disorders and other personal handicaps sometimes compound these societal challenges. Such is the case with Rory, the 12-year-old son of Margaret Iocono. Struggling with undiagnosed dyslexia,

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TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): Did you cast a big old sloppy love spell on yourself, Taurus? Or did you simply decide to stop resisting life's fervent invitations to get more funky? Whatever the cause, you should by • now be reaping the mostly delectable, somewhat chaotic consequences of a full-scale onslaught of romantic intrigue. In the wake of this delirium, I'd like to offer you some helpful tips on how to hide hickeys. (The first three come from kissing expert William Cane. Check out his Web site at www.kissing.com.) 1) Brush the hickey twice a day with a toothbrush. 2) Twist it around the eraser tip of a pencil. 3) Place a spoon in the freezer for two hours, then press it against the afflicted area. 4) Get your whole neck | covered with hickeys so the first one blends in.

BY ROB

practical point of view. And yet the astrological aspects suggest there is quite a bit more than a snowball's chance in hell that an unusual stroke of luck will tip the balance in your favor when no one expects it. So by all means, press on with your quixotic quest.

CANCCR (June 21 -July 22): Uh-oh. You're in that part of your astrological cycle when your indecisiveness threatens to reach a fever pitch; when you're in danger of arguing with yourself so vehemently about the wrong questions that you end up doing nothing at all. As a spell against that possibility, I offer a part of a poem by Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai (translated by Chana Bloch). "I'm like a man who tears up a letter/and then has second thoughts,/picking up the pieces and pasting them together again/with great pains, sometimes/for the rest of his life." Memorize what you just read, Cancerian, then make sure you do nothing like it. L € 0 (July 23-Aug. 22): Wow! I'm impressed with the editing you've been doing on yourself, Leo. It seems you've downsized the big old attitude that was ; a 50-foot shadow^Your

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo, I've composed the following invitation for you to deliver to all serious candidates for admission to your inner circle. "Dear Applicant: My potential as a giver of gifts is so vast yet so unfulfilled that it's almost tragic. Part of the problem is that far too many of the recipents of my favors seem to regard my generosity as a sign that I don't need or expect much in return. They take, take, take, thereby making it self-destructive for me to continue to give, give, give — and thus rendering it impossible for me to fulfill my destiny as a bestower of blessings. Please keep this in mind as you drool over the prospects of what I can do for you. Love, Virgo."

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Massive archetype alert! Be prepared to swoon and shiver, sob and bellylaugh, shut down and light up. Expect marvels and stupefactions like close encounters with unidentified flying omelettes, psychedelic trips caused by eating moldy bread, and pies in the sky being thrown in your face. Thankfully, you

BREZSHY+*

miracle occurring among the raging artistic egos of Western culture? No way, no how — at least under most circumstances. I can, however, imagine gorgeous group gropes of all kinds emerging in the next couple weeks — even collaborative poems — as long as there is a Scorpio somewhere in the mix. These days, you folks are not only geniuses at bringing out the dormant talents in others. You're also brilliant weavers.

SAGITTARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Recent research has revealed that many of the first Europeans to explore and settle in South America were Jews who'd been forced to convert to Christianity by Spanish and Portuguese persecutions. Modern families who're eager to reclaim their Jewish ancestry have launched a movement known as la sangre llama — "the blood is calling." I bring this up, Aquarius, because I think it's time for you to tune in to your own personal version of the whispers of the past. Your ancestors have a message for you. A secret about your origins is ripe for plucking.

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19):

PISCSS (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): If I hear one more person exclaim, "Show me the money," I think I'll puke. Please excuse my crabbiness. It's just that even when the movie Jerry Maguire first came out, the phrase was a barely amusing rehash of a yawn-provoking idea. Now, many months later, its juvenile cynicism is a hundred times more tiresome. May I suggest, as an alternative, the command, "Show me the magic"? After all, mojo should be the ultimate measure of worth for you these days, not moolah. Q)

You: fix the drippi You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night for your

astro! Sometimes lately you ren to the size of a small

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From hard rock and pop to jazz and blues, Burlington, Vermont, supports a thriving music scene. Clubs such as Metronome, Toast and Nectar's are regarded as some of the Northeast's premier venues, introducing the freshest local talent and presenting the very best regional and national acts! The BURLINGTON MUSIC CONFERENCE offers musicians and the industry a look at the non-traditional side of making music, getting signed and blasting off into the industry at large. Conference components include panels and discussion groups with national and local talent, workshops and master classes, a weekend-long tradeshow featuring a mix of industry names, local and genrespecific indie labels and a club circuit featuring a monster line-up of showcase perofrmances that will keep you up all night long — in a good way!

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Sunday, October 26 at 7 pm C o - f o u n d e r and lead guitarist of the British rock g r o u p The Kinks, and one of the most successful and influential songwriters of the '60s, Ray Davies c o m e s to Burlington with his intimate "unplugged" performance, featuring s o m e of the top ten hit s o n g s he wrote and recorded. Hear "You Really Got Me," "Lola, "Apeman," and " C o m e Dancing," along with reminiscences of the band's history, and excerpts from his autobiography X-Ray. Sponsored by s A h *

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AQUARIUS

(Nov. 22 Dec.

21): It will not be a good week to spit into the boss's coffee pot, shoot a squirtgun full of lemonade at your teacher, or talk back to your mommy. On the other hand, it'll be a perfect moment to take steps to become your own boss, your own teacher, or your own mother. Don't waste your waxing mastery, in other words, by trying to undercut and snipe at authority. Instead, become more of a wise and helpful power-broker yourself.

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E X H I B I T I O N S OF AN E X P R E S S I V E E M O T I O N A L I S T AND A KITCHEN RAT, paintings, drawings and sculpture by Maxime Lamour and Sean Paul Lambert. First Floor, 135 Pearl, Burlington, 985-8255. One-night show August 31, 6 p.m.-midnight.

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VERMONT WATERS, paintings and pastel drawings by Henry Isaacs. Furchgott Sourdtffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. August 30-0ctober 9. FROM THE CAVE: P A I N T I N G S ON CLAY, f e a t u r i n g the work of Thomas Richard Wolfe. Vermont Clay Studio Gallery, Montpelier, 223-4220. September 1-26. THE NERVE ENDING SHOW,a group exhibit of mostly local photographers. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington, 864-8040, ext. 121. Through September 26. GAB OR S Z I LAS I , Photographs, 1954-1996, a retrospective of the Hungarian-born Canadian photographer, and HENRI CARTIERBRESSON, Pen, Brush and Cameras. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-2851600. August 28-November 2. RATS! What do a M A K I N G AND kitchen rat and an REHAKING VERMONT F A R M ->\ "expressive emotionalist" S T E A D S , an exhibit have in common? Two examining the state's local artists, Maxime farms and farm families over two cen- > Lamour and Sean Paul RI tunes. ^ • Lambert, provide the Shelburne Farms, 985-3091. Through answer in a one-nightOctober 19. only exhibit of their REFLECTIONS ON BASIN HARBOR, a paintings, sculptures and juried group exhibit drawings this Sunday. and sale of mixed The show also inaugumedia artworks by 22 Vermont artists, rates a new exhibit in conjunction with space, aptly called First the resort's Flower Days festival. Basin Floor, at 135 Pearl. Left, Harbor Club, Vergennes, 475-2311. Through September 1. "Kulesza Ellert," by M U L T I P L E WORKS in mixed media by P. R. Smith, including Lamour, and, above, a video documentary on the "ancient link between art and agriculture." Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 652-1103. Through "Focus on the Potential September 6. ' f/" .; " * >\ of Joy," by Lambert. FRAMEWORK & FANTASY, an exhibit of mixed media featuring Shaun Cassidy, Steve Dunning, Meredith Mayer, Daniel Neary and Valerie Johnson. Chaffee Center for the Arts, Rutland, 7?5r0356. Through Septei%r 7 . , ^ THE WATERFRONT PROJECT. Exhibit including photos, video footage, response books and fkp Rnrlincrtnn warfrfrnnt. F i r e h o u s e G a l l e r v .

T.m\# v* »*•>" * V«»MV»» V . j, o » IT• artists. Artisans Hand, Montpelier, 229-9492. Through August. gig FROM BOLT TO B O D I C E : CLOTHING ADDISON COUNTY WOMEN,a toric clothmaking and fashions. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Througl _ FROM A DOG'S P O I N T OF VIEW, Stephen Hunecks woodcut prints, furniture, sculpture and jewelry portraying man s best friend. :$teph|n Hujie^; Gallery, Woodstodc, 4 f 7 ~ 3 2 0 6 . - § ; Through September 12. : MZi^i P R I N T S AND P O R T R A I T S , photography by Jan Tyler. Isabel's on the Waterfront, Burlington, I

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SILVER WING ART GALLERY LANDSCAPE L I T 0 G R A P H S & ABJ •RACT P A I N T I N G S by DavisTe Selle and Dorothy Martinez, respectively. Green Corp., South Burlington, 864-1557. Through September. HOW TO RUM A QUESTIONABLE INDEPENDENCE INTO THE GROUND WHILE L I V I N G I N A FOREIGN photographs, poems, letters and translated text Matthew Thorsen. Horn of the 863-8313. Through August 28. RECENT P A I N T I N G S in oa and Sarah Bowen. Vermont Arts Council, Mont 828-5422. Through September SEASONS OF THE CHAMPLAIN LEY, watercolors by Deborah Holmes. Vermont Craft Center/Frog Hollow, Budington, Through September 15. PATTERN AS LANGUAGE, by Erik Bright. Vermont Clay

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NARKED BY FIRE,agroup eery and tiles and batik fabric. Frog Middleburv, 388-3177. Through 2 T O U R I S T S ACCOMMODATED: VERMONT 1 8 9 5 - 1 9 9 5 , an exhibit other artifacts of 20th: Histo

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Roasters in Waitsfidd hosts an exhibit by 10 young students o f Adele Nicols. Her summertime Fine Art and Writing Camp resulted

nm in a flurry o f poetry and Pi paint — its verbal imagery as vibrant as the brushed. Above, a vase o f flowers by Jillian DeFreest, age 11, from

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[STS OF THE GARDEN, floral an in mixed media : artists. Stowe, 253-8358. Through August. [ENDS OF THE GALLERY show featuring 16 artists in ; Gallery. Essex, N.Y., 518-963-7551. Ongoing. & PUPPET OPEN HOUSE Hundreds of puppets,! i die group are on display. Bread & Puppet Museum, Glover, 525-6972. Through November I KG AND REMAKING VERMONT FARMSTEADS, an exhibit from the Vermont examining how Vermont farmers have changed and shaped die landscape in two centuries. Farms, Shdburne, 985-8686. Through October 20. IDRES AQUI NO, commercial, fashion and fine art photography. Aquino Int ei; 767-9341. Through summer. HEBERT, An Artists View of Montreal Harbor; E X I L E S AND

EMIGRES,

7. Also, ASTER I X , featuring 150 objects and artworks focused on the French ip hero. Through November 16. R N I S H I N G S AND P A I N T I N G S by Ruth Pope. Windstrom Hill Gallery, Montpdier, 5899. Ongoing. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate ail oj the displays in our readership area, in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies

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try denying die things going on in your body when you're 12. The Brothers, who are supposed to offer you guidance, are no help. Thirteen or 30, the flesh asserts its devilish supremacy, until you re old, when the body weakens and you die. In case you didn't know it, becoming a priest means no sex, except self-sot, of course, which, even though it s still a sin, is generally overlooked as a necessary evil. Thank God for alcoholOne of the most important parts of the curriculum here is the concept of eternity, as in, obey Jesus' admonition to turn "the eternity of hell." One of the other cheek but running the monks puts it to his charges out of cheeks to turn, Sister this way: 'Our pain will be like Benedict will put aside her the pain of a man tied down scruples to teach you die art of and unable to move. The man pugilism. screams for unconsciousness, Father O'Malley himself is but there is no unconsciousness an educational radical. He's not in helL The worm eats and cats, against lowering the passing but its work is never finished, mark from 75 to 50. In fact, forevermore. And what does he's not against the idea of forevennore mean? Imagine a throwing out grades altogether. sphere of metal as vast as the Fedagogically, he suggests that sun. Imagine that once every teachers should go back to their 10,000 years a sparrow should own experience in school for visit it and brush it with its guidance. O'Malleys one rule is wings. When that sphere had that school should elevate a been worn to nothing you child, ami never die opposite. If would still be in hell, would that means giving a failing stustill be the howling damned dent points for getting the date who do not see God s face." correct and writing her name You get this sermon as a on a test, so be it. Besides, the send-off to a three-day retreat student probably knows the given to silent contemplation of material, anyway, and is puryour relationship with God. posely failing because of a trou- Sweet dreams. bled home life. DESIRABLE: Huxley College UNDESIRABLE: The unnamed (Horsefeathers) seminary in The Devil's Playground Groucho Marx once said he wouldn't want to belong to any So, you want to be a little dub that would accept him as a brother of Mary. Well, if you member. On the other hand, think algebra or biology is hard, who wouldn't want to belong to

A REEL EDUCATION Bv Barry Snyder

n preparation for this Back to School issue, I've been perusing the world of education as it exists in that strange parallel universe known as the cinema. The following are my recommendations for two desirable and two undesirable celluloid schools, open to visits in your local video store. DESIRABLE: St. Marys Parochial School {The Bells of St. Mary's) That's the old St. Mary's, not the new, modern building that some guy with heart trouble donated, and before Sister Mary Benedict (lngrid Bergman) was sent off to Arizona with tuberculosis. The new digs can't make up in spaciousness what the old St. Mary's had in heart. It was the kind of place where, if you're a poor, fatherless girl like Patsy, having trouble writing an essay, Father O Malley (Bing Crosby) will come along and croon to you "Be Glad That You Are You." And the kind of the place where, if you're a boy trying to

U ^ i f l

B^jivja-H-

<5eoertriu<5

a college that had Groucho (alias Quincy Adams Wagstaff) as the incoming President? Wagstaff is a "hands-on" type of administrator, particularly when it comes to college widows. He's not above going to a local speakeasy (password: swordfish) to recruit football players (where else do you expect to find them?), and if some boring professor of biology has somehow taken to believing that the universe has meaning, Wagstaff is not afraid to slip into a beard and straighten things out. "Now, in studying your basic metabolism," he tells the students, "we first listen to your heart's beat; and if your hearts beat anything but diamonds and dubs, its because your partner is cheating, or your wife. Scientists make these deductions by examining a rat, or your landlord, who won t cut the rent. And what do they find? Asparagus!" Huxley College is a modd of multiculturalism and equal opportunity. Wagstaff s inner circle is composed of an ice man and a dog catcher. One is an Italian who speaks a kind of Esperanto ("haddock" equals "headache" and "sturgeon" equals "surgeon") and the other a deaf mute who uses a kind of literal sign language to communicate (at the speakeasy, he gains entry by pulling out a fish with a sword down its throat). Incidentally, Huxley College was an ideal school in the eyes of surrealists like Philippe Soupalt and Antonin Artaud. They saw its mission as the liberation of the mind from the chains of logic and reason. Wagstaff stated the goal somewhat more prosaically in his acceptance speech. "Whatever it

is," he sang, pulling the grizzled beards of therobedprofessors and dancing a jig, "I'm against it."

UNDESIRABLE: Chdtenham College ( # The public school is the bedrock of English dass society. The route to any position of authority and wealth leads through public schools like this one, but there's a price to pay. New boys are called Scum, and lorded over by prefects called Whips — titles that tell you all you need to know about the nature of their relationship. Each Whip chooses a Scum as his own personal slave, to warm his lavatory seat and serve him tea in die tub. The chosen few are traded like chattd and abused as sexual toys. The punishment for rebels like Mick (Malcolm McDowell) is a ritualistic beating with a length of cane. The offending party must drop his pants and drape himself over a piece of gym equipment. Each of the Whips takes a turn in the caning, a floorlength run, hop and overhand slash that is a cruel parody of a cricket pitch. The military and religion are the twin pillars of this system. When one of die students confesses his inclination to sexual fantasy, the chaplain admonishes him to "fight the good fight." As members of the Cadet Force, even the least violent of the students is taught to scream the "yell of hate" ("the ydl that counts") while jabbing a bayonet into the gut of an imaginary enemy. Welcome back, students. ® (Videos courtesy of Waterfront Video, Buriington.)

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THE H0Y1S CINEMAS

FILM QUIZ

Review

A PIECE OF THE ACTION Time once again lor the version of our game in which we freeze an action-packed frame from a well-known film and extract a pivotal puzzle-shaped piece from the picture. Your job, as always, is to come up with the name of the movie anyway.

fo watch The Good. The Bad & The B o ^ o ! " on y o u r local

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(Sean Penn) who returns home started one of her own with ant

father's attention. Benicio D e l T o r o co"hristopher Walken and Harry C o n n i c k Jr. director M o s h e n MakhmaJbaPs impressionrtnr>nv~/v«n»wvi fi^Mc n Cassavetes' unprodu >rison to find the love Travolta). Gena Rowlai

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The area's best source for offbeat* drama, classics, directors, comedy, foreign, suspense, rarities, family, new releases and more! "Excellent resource for film studies ... B r i n g u s this a d a n d y o u r s t u d e n t I.D. to g e t your first rental FREE!

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SEVEN DAYS

SHOWCASE C I N E M A S 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. Hoodlum* 12:50, 3:40, 6:45, 9:25. Money Talks 12:30, 4, 7, 9:20. Mastermind 1:10. Leave It To Beaver 1, 3:50. Air Force One 12:40, 3:30, 6:40, 9:35. Picture Perfect 7:10, 9:25. Mimic 4:10, 6:50, 9:40. All shows Fri Mon. Evening shows only Tues. - Thurs. N I C K E L O D E O N C I N E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Career Girls* 1:50, 4:30, 7:10, 9:40. She's So Lovely* 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:20. Mrs. Brown 1:30, 4:10, 6:40, 9. G.I.Jane 1, 4, 6:50, 9:30. Cop Land 1:15, 3:50, 7:20, 9:50. Conspiracy Theory 12:50, 3:40, 6:30, 9:10. All shows daily.

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oh/i»vn oTHE VERMONT W O M E N ' S Health Center specializes in comprehensive obstetrics and gynecology and is a participating provider with CHP, MVP & Blue Cross Blue Shield. Call 863-1386 for appt.

meditation energy healing ENERGY HEALING & BALANCING using touch and guided imagery. Feeling stressed? Discover deep relaxation, peace and healing that comes from within. Intro rate. Hinesburg or Burlington. Call Richard Andresen, 482-6101.

leldenkrais

BILL VAN ZVYERDEN: 802388-7478, Middlebury. See display ad.

GREEN M T N . LEARNING CENTER: 879-4195- See display ad.

massage LANSKY MASSAGE: 8637165, Burlington & Williston. See display ad.

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include,Advil and MoojMB. Made frbm ibuprofen,; they can treat the same symptoms as does aspirin, and .

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are also recommend for the relief of menstrual, or muscular or skeletal a c f c and pains, like arthritis. Tylenol produced from acetaminophen, is the:; x other well-known pain reliever, but, unlike aspirin, it does not alleviate inflammation. "What aspirin and Advil do that acetaminophen does not do is reduce inflammation," Igneri says, "so if you twist your ankle, its probably better to take an a n t i ^ ^ a t o i | i t i c h as AdviiA ; 7 to cause

SPACES F O R R E N T A U N I Q U E & DYNAMIC approach to the development of greater self-awareness, flexibility, power & precision in movement. Carolyn King, nationally cert, in this method since 1987, teaches individual/ group lessons. 434-5065.

Holistic Justice Center William van Zyverdcn, Esq., Counselor-at-Law

(802) 3 8 8 - 7 4 7 8 Empowering Clients to Resolve Their Own Conflicts

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Consultations on Personal Growth Communication Skills Bioenergetic Analysis Joy and Harmony

Free Introductory Session 860-5097

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C A L L C A R O L FOR

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A retreat on living deeply and fully facilitated by Michael Schaal, M.S. W. WHEN: Saturday, September 13 WHERE: | Basin Harbor Club $195 For individuals who wish to calm their spirit, take stock in themselves and integrate personal reflection and change into their daily lives For more information, call: (802) 6 5 8 9 5 9 0

die and onioi ight want to o with them Neither Seven Days nor any practitioner quoted here may be held liable for any result of trying a new remedy, practice or product that is mentioned in this column. Please use common sense, listen to your body, and refer to your own health practitioner for advice.

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SEVEN DAYS vvi

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august

7 ,

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w e l l n e s s BERNICE

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psychologists

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vitamins & herbs VITAMIN C O N N E C T I O N : 862-2590, 72 Main St., Burlington. See display ad.

R O L F I N G ASSOCIATES, INC.: Dr. Jeffry Galper, 8654770, So. Burl. See display ad.

Astrology I t ' s about life. John Morden 802-655-9113 Colchester, Vermont

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Z E N THERAPY: W h e n you're ready to get serious give me a call 879-4195. See display ad. T H E CREAMERY: 985-3315, Shelburne. See display ad.

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O R G A N I C HERBAL CAPSULES: 863-3662. See display ad. T A M A R A C K ASSOCIATES: Herbal weightloss, (802) 6572595. See display ad.

yoga YOGA T H E R A P Y . Tap into self-knowledge and body wisdom, leading to healing and transformation. Martha Whitney, 860-2814.

802.985.3315

Classif ieds announcements

looking to rent/sublet

ROUND-TRIP AIRLINE TICKET: In continental U.S. w/ 14 days advance. Must be used by September 30. $300 negotiable. Call 862-1338.

LOOKING FOR HOUSESITTING or live-in with elderly in Burlington area. Easy-going, quiet writer/housekeeper. Refs. Vesna, 862-4468.

yard sales

SINGLE, SPIRITUAL MAN IN 40's looking to rent cabin or cottage in rural setting. Marketing Director for environmental/forestry organization, have extensive carpentry & caretaking/housesitting exp. Open to creative living scenario. Call Don, 985-1067.

SHELBURNE: Sat., Aug. 30th, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m., 14 Thomas Rd. (between Spear St. & Falls Rd.). No early birds. Rain date Aug. 31, 9 a.m. - noon. BURLINGTON: Sun., Aug. 3 1 , 9 a.m. - 1 p.m., corner of Maple St. & Church St. Cool clothes, records, & other things you wish you had. No early birds. Sunday only.

housemates wanted

lost & found LOST CAT: White & orange male tabby, "Marmelade," last seen 8/18 on Peru St. Dark blue, nylon collar. O H 658-7822.

real estate G O V T FORECLOSED HOMES from pennies on $1. Delinquent tax, repos, REOs. Your area. Tollfree, 1-800-218-9000, Ext. H-6908 for current listings.

office/studio lor rent 2,000 SQ. FT. STORE FRONT available on No. Champlain St., Burlington. Can be divided. $l,800/mo. Call for more info, 862-4891. Formerly Cafe No No.

apt./condo for rent BURLINGTON: Ledgewood condo townhouse, 2-bdrm., gas heat, patio, pool, tennis, near Oakledge & lake. $710/mo. Call Mary, 862-6632.

august

27,

LOOKING FOR NICE, private 23 bdrm. house w/ yard within 30 mins. of Burlington. Prefer no elec. heat. Ted, 863-9356 or Adam, 8652132.

1997

BURLINGTON: Gay female, NS/ND, looking for straight female to share 2-bdrm. condo. Available 9/1. 862-0312. CHARLOTTE: Congenial housemate sought to share care of beautiful country home and animals. Grounded, quiet, mid-30's or older woman sensitive to arts, contemplation, nature. $450 plus utilities, deposit. Penny, 425-2416. ESSEX: Mature, NS prof, or grad student to share townhouse w/ owner. Piano. All amenities. Avail. 9/1. Rent negotiable, compatibility essential. 879-5181. HINESBURG: 2 young, professional females looking for a 3rd person to share beautiful, huge farmhouse w/ garden, porch, W/D. 9 miles from downtown Burl. $400/mo. + 1/3 utils. 482-3424. HINESBURG: NS over 33 wanted to share modern house in woodland setting. Comfortable w/ spirituality and alternative healing. $360/mo. + 1/2 heat. Richard, 482-4004.

MALLETTS BAY: Great location, near lake, minutes to downtown. $400/mo. + 1/2 utils. 879-3536. WINOOSKI: Responsible, emotionally healthy female w/ positive attitude to share my lovely, large, 3bdrm. home. Have 2 cats, no more cats, please. W/D, off street parking, low utilities, near UVM & St. Mike's. 655-1326.

wanted to buy WANTED: ORIENTAL RUGS. Cash paid. Any condition. Will travel. 1-800-850-0503. ALWAYS BUYING: We need to spend $1,000,000 on coin & stamp collections, jewelry, diamonds, watches, silver & gold. Martins Coins. Open Mon.-Sat., 11-5. Call John K. Martin, Jr. for appt. 1800-650-2646.

W O L F F T A N N I N G BEDS T A N AT H O M E

Buy DIRECT and SAVE! Commcrcial/Home units from

$199.00 Low Monthly Payments FREE Color Catalog CALL TODAY 1-800-842-1310

housekeeping WALK BAREFOOT FROM O N E end of your place to the other. Now, look at the soles of your feet. If they are clean, you don't need us. Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 658-7458. "They've been known to whistle while they work."—Joan Crawford. HOUSECLEANING & O D D JOBS DONE. Honest and reliable service. Reasonable rates. Call Lavenia @ 864-3096.

buy this stuff

child care

IN-HOME SCREENPRINTING setup, $50. New queen-sized box spring, paid $ 150, sell for $75; Trek aluminum bike frame, $30; Thule windsurfing car rack, $50. Call 865-4630. MAKE YOUR OWN WINE! Homebrewed beer and soft drinks, too w/ equipment, recipes, & friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. 147 E. Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070. HOUSEHOLD GOODS: Reconditioned/used appliances, electronics, furniture & household items. ReCycle North: save $, reduce waste, train the homeless, alleviate poverty. Donors/shoppers wanted. 266 Pine St., 658-4143. Open seven days/week.

CHILD CARE IN MY HOME, M-F, 7 a.m. - 6 p.m. Looking for two children only, ages 2 and up. Lunch & snacks provided. Learning activities, lots of TLC. Degree in psychology. Refs. provided. 6608274.

services FORGETFUL?!!? Do you need reminders for birthdays and anniversaries? For a 1-time fee you get a lifetime membership. For information send a SASE to P.O. Box 8025, Essex, VT 05451.

carpentry/painting MR. PAINT: Painting (interior/ exterior) wall coverings, commercial/residential. Restoration is my specialty. Certified Child Lead Prevention. Insured & references. Free estimates. 862-5510.

SEVEN DAYS

REPAIRS, RENOVATIONS, PAINTING, consultations, decks, windows, doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured, references. Chris Hanna, 865-9813.

automotive SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, BMW's, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4WD s. Your area. 1-800-218-9000 Ext. A-6908 for current listings.

help wanted GROWING JEWELRY WHOLEsale/import company looking for energetic, motivated and detail-oriented person to assist w/ light shipping, customer service and various warehouse duties. Full-time position w/ health benefits. Wholesale/retail exp. necessary. Please call 655-4547. INTERNET/SALES. If you are Internet savvy and love to sell, we are looking for you. Excellent phone & communication skills a must. Great salary & bonuses. Call RVS, 879-7000. PEACE & JUSTICE STORE seeks P/T help for weekend hours. Must be an independent, motivated individual. People of color encouraged to apply at P&J Store, 21 Church St., Burlington. 863-8326. WAITER/WAITRESS/SERVER positions available for a restaurant opening soon. Experience a plus. Full- or part-time. Flexible scheduling. Students 21 and over encouraged to apply. Send resume to P.O. Box 1004, Burlington, VT 054021004, or call Sullivan, 865-2668.

WORK FOR US. an self-sfarter in search of a good thing! SEVEN DAYS is looking for a motivated

Established account list. Major earning potential. Swell team. Past experience preferred. Send a letter and resume to SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VI05402. No phone calls, please. BEVERLY'S CAFE IS SEEKING new member(s). Varied responsibil ities may include light baking, food prep., making sandwiches & salads on the line, waiting on customers, and your share of dishes. Must be reliable, organized, loyal and able to move quickly during busy lunch. One full-time or two part-time people sought. Call Beverly, 8625515, 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. BRM DESIGN & METALWORKS needs a high -energy person for an office/multitasking position. Computer skills helpful. Fulltime. Submit resumes via fax, 8633088. T H E V E R M O N T FILM FOUNDATION seeks volunteers & interns for the upcoming Vermont International Film Festival. Marketing, fundraising, film programming and administrative positions available. Call 802-660-2600. FLOWER AMBASSADOR T O deliver our flowers, Wed.-Sat., and help maintain our shop. Excellent driving record, extremely organized, knowledge of Chittenden County and a commitment to exquisite customer service required. Vivaldi Flowers, 350 Dorset St., So. Burlington. 863-2300.

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SALES ASSOCIATE NEEDED for fast-paced work environment. Must be energetic, creative & willing to work hard while having fun. Stop in to fill out application. The Rainbow Room, Main St., M-bury.

GUITAR AMP, ROLAND JC 120, $350. Fender American Strat, $500. Bass amp and cab: Peavey Mark IV, 300 watts & cab w/ 18" Black Widow, $275. Call Ryan, 453-3087.

ARCHITECTURAL FIRM SEEKS part-time office support. Activities include reception, word processing, project support. Experience w/ Windows 95, WordPerfect, Excel and Macintosh necessary. Send resume to: 207 King St., Suite 3, Burlington, VT 05401-4502

LOOKING FOR AN ACAPPELLA group to join—do-wop, jazz, funky stuff (no madrigals!). Bass baritone or noise maker. I crave fun work! Call Leigh, 462-2669, leave mssg.

AGGRESSIVE LOCAL MUSIC promotions co. seeks highly motivated, creative, Internet-sawy sales/marketing personality. Commission-based position, unlimited advancement possible. Resume to: Big Heavy World, P.O. Box 428, Burlington, VT 05402-0428. $1000'S POSSIBLE READING BOOKS. Part Time. At Home. Toll-free, 1-800-218-9000 Ext. R-6908 for listings.

photography PHOTOGRAPHER SEEKS female models for swimsuit and figure photography. No experience necessary. Contact Carl at 8601055.

PERFORMANCE ARTISTS: Exciting, new performance venue available for ground-breaking artists. Show Burlington how it is. Call Cheryl, 862-8261.

MA6ICAL DAVID i &i

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WHERE THE MUSIC COMES FIRST—BIG ED'S STUDIO ON WHEELS, specializing in Live Remote Recording; up to 24-track capability. No job too big or small! Indoors or out, CD or demo. Call 802-266-8839; email: biged@ together.net; Website: http://homepages.together.net/-biged. MUSICIANS - PROMOTIONAL PHOTOS - New Studio. 'Special* photo shoot and 10 B&W 8x10 photos w/ band name: $100, many options available. Peter Wolf Photo-Graphics, 802-899-2350/ pawolf@aol.com. ARE YOU IN A BURLINGTON BAND? Be part of Burlington's World Wide Web guide ^ Jfical music. Send your press pack to: BIG HEAVY WORLD, P.O. Box 428, Burlington, VT 05402. http://www.bigheavyworld.com/

music instruction

entertainment

THE KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE. Tired of getting busted for the noise complaints? Need a practice space to play loud 24 hrs./day? The Kennel Rehearsal Space can help! Rooms by hr./wk./mo. Appointments only. Call 660-2880.

m ,s

Ages 3-8 As featured in the N.Y. Times

801.860.6834

music WANTED: HAMMERED DULCIMER, reasonably priced and in good condition for beginner. 4344740, leave message. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS seek bass player (upright preferred). Authentic rockabilly, 40's & 50's country. Call Buck, 879-1828. http://homepages.together.net/-csm acf.

REAL BLUES GUITAR, BASS, piano and voice instruction: Acoustic, country-blues and modern electric blues, slide guitar, no schlock jazz. Derrick Sender (School of Hard Knocks, South Central L.A.: Dogtones, En-Zones, Derrick Semler Band), 30 years exp. No sight reading allowed. $20/hr.—$ 15/half-hour. 434-3382. GUITAR LESSONS: All ages, levels and styles. Reasonable rates. B A in music. 5 years teaching experience. Josh Stacy, 658-1896. GUITAR INSTRUCTION: All styles, any level. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship and personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo, James Harvey, etc.). 862-7696.

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fitness/training GOT ONLY A FEW PRECIOUS minutes to exercise? Don't waste it! I'll custom design a safe, effective exercise program that fits your busy lifestyle. Call for appt. & free brochure. Julie Trottier, ACE certified personal fitness trainer. 8782632. $35 per 90 min. session.

MUSIC THERAPY: Discover music as a powerful tool for creative psychotherapy. Shelley Snow, MA, CMT, Certified Music Therapist. 864-3894.

dating services We've shown 3500 people 1 a better way 1 to meet.

massage EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE MASSAGE! Treat yourself or a friend to the incredible relaxation and effectiveness of exquisite oriental massage with JinShin Acupressure. Assists in stress relief, injury recovery and renewed vitality. Fantastic gift! Gift certificates available. $5.00 discount with ad. Call Acupressure Massage of Burlington, Joseph Watkins, 4254279.

^iviviv.compatibles.com ^ WHAT DIRECTION SHOULD YOU GO??? Let a psychic help!!! Just call 1-900-267-9999 ext. 8113. $3.99 per min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U, 619-645-8438

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE. Swedish Esalen Body Work. Reg. 75 minute session - $30. Office indowntown Burlington. Mary Clark, 657-2516. MASSAGE THE WAY IT'S MEANT TO BE. Private. Peaceful. Relaxing environment. Soak in hot tub before session to mellow your mind, warm your body. Sessions from $45. Certified therapist. Tranquil Connection, 654-9200. SHIATSU/SWEDISH MASSAGE with Lara Sobel, licensed Massage Therapist. Helps circulation, aids digestion, supports immune system and relieves stress. Green Mountain Massage, 657-2519 or 223-3689. TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep therapeutic massage. Regular session: $40. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Very flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029. '&

NOTICE OF VACANCY CITY OF BURLINGTON At their meeting of September 8, 1997, or thereafter, the Burlington City Council will appoint a member to the Housing Board of Review and the Waterfront Board to fill the unexpired terms of Fearna Tyndall, term expires June >. 30, 2001, Noah Berger, term expires June 30, 1998, and Linda H. Sparks, term expires June 30, 1999. Anyone interested in these positions is encouraged to obtain an application from the City Clerk's Office, Room 20, City Hall. Please apply as soon as possible. In order to be considered for a position, the applicant must be nominated by a member of the City Council. A list of members of the Council is also available at the City Clerk's Office. August 27, 1997

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE: Swedish Esalen Body Work. Special intro rate. Gift certificates available. Office on Church St. Call Karen Ross, 863-9828.

Jo LaMarche Asst. City Clerk

IBURGH to IBM. Let's fork W-P 7 p.m. to these are your hours, MILTON to BURLINGTON. Second shift. Looking for a ride to UVM. Working hours are 2 p.m. to li:30 p.m. (2312) COLCHESTER to WILLISTON RD. Looking for a ride MR work 11a.m. to 7 p.m. (2362) UNDERBILL to FLETCHER ALLEN HOSP. Willing to share in driving. Weekends, 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (2299) SHELBURNE RD. to FLETCHER ALLEN, 1 work 11 p.m. to a.m. (2335)

who work* similar shift location. M-F, 7 xm. to 4 flexible. (218!) to SO.

SHELDON to DOWNTOWN BURLINGTON. Looking to form a vanpool from northern part of 1-89 to Burlington. Working hours are appro*. 9 5:30 p.m. (2289) BURLINGTON. Ride needed from Burlington to The Teddy Bear Factory on Shelburnc Rd. (2323)

emotional health

BURLINGTON to COU Ride needed from lllard St., Burlington ro d., Colchester. (2298)

RAPID EYE THERAPY. Release emotional trama, anger, fear and grief. Profoundly effective. Also Ear Candling—helpful for wax buildup, headaches, sinus congestion and improved hearing. 802-453-3040.

E U f l S C R I f l E

FIVE BRAND NEW SHURE SM57 microphones. $90 each or all 5 for $400. Pair of 15" JBL D-140 bass speakers from the 70s. $150/pr. 434-4309.

US and SOVIET Capable

IntercontinentalBombers' Invwtl

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B R I N G C O R P O R A L P U N I S H M E N I BACK TO THE S C H O O L S WHERE IT B E L O N G S . m

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august

PERSON A = Asian, B = Black, Bi=Bisccual, C = Christian, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, J = Jewish, M = Male, Ma = Married, ND = No Drugs, NS = NonSmoking, NA = No Alcohol, P= Professional, S = Single, W = White, Wi = Widowed, ISO = In Search Of, LTR = Long-Term Relationship.

VOICE MAILBOXES

WOMEN SEEKING MEN I SEEK T H E MAN W H O CAN truly love me and travel with me to the spiritual depth of mind and heart. How can I know him? 64948 EASY-GOING, SENSITIVE, B U T withdrawn Eastern European woman, 40 s, looking for a stable, secure M to share quiet moments with. Friendship or possible romance. 64933 SF, 30, UNFULFILLED BY relationship with cat, seeks Jean-Luc Picard wannabe. I enjoy gardening, reading, walking, conversing and eating good food. I do not like smoking or better coping through chemistry. If you are happy with your life and consider yourself a good person, give a call. 64942 SWF, 27, INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE, adventurous feminist cinemaphile w/ an annoying commitment to social justice seeking SM, 25-35, to make me laugh while we hike the Long Trail and discuss "the Rules" on our way to the movies. Do yoii exJsf? 'Stitpifc tig* * ^ 64936 SWF, 18, WANTS S O M E O N E T O have fun with. Loves to party and have a good time. 64943 T W O SINGLE W O M E N L O O K I N G for men—fun, play, discreet. We're young, thin, blonde. 64955

DykesToWafcrll

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I SEEK A B R I G H T M I N D A N D A golden heart for a life companion. Could you also be 45 and like biking or skating? 64926 YAWN...YAWN...OKAY, HERE GOES... same old stufL.SWF, young 37, attractive, independent, enjoy walking, reading, sports. ISO attractive SM, 3242, to liven up my "same ol'" life!! 64928 T H E R E M U S T BE SOME advantage to living in the 4th most enlightened city. Well-seasoned F of many interests, savvy, not bad looking, ISO enlightened M, 58-68, for high adventure & good conversation. Must be fully evolved. 64909 SWF, 30, BLUE EYES, B L O N D E hair, NS, friendly, bubbly, outdoorsy, warm, into travel, dining out & movies at home. ISO... you! Letter/photo appreciated. 64916 A C T I O N SWF, 41, FULL-FIGURED, seeks emotionally secure M who enjoys theater, travel, long walks, fun and friendship. 64917 TYPE-B N E E D E D FOR ACTIVE typeA. Sincere, spirited, fit DWF, NS, late 40 s, 5'8", seeks tall D/SWM, 45-53, w/ integrity, sense of humor and love of the outdoors to share interests & explore possibilities. If you like to hike on sunny fall days, respond soon. 64918 SWF, B L O N D E HAIR, GREEN EYES, 5'5", 132 lbs., looking for middle to elderly aged man, financially secure, to be my sugar daddy. 64914 G O O D , CLEAN FUN: NS, NA, N D , unique, petite vegetarian, 37, ISO honest, energetic, fit, non-bearded gentleman to share the outdoors, blues, travel, etc. Age unimportant. Central VT. 64896 SPWF, 30 S, POSITIVE, INTELLIGENT, humorous, fit, pretty. Seeks someone to dance in my dreams, shine when I need the sun, share my heart, soul and life. 64900 I'M A FRIENDLY, O U T G O I N G , happy SWPF, 31, looking for SWPM, 30-40, for friendship, possibly more. Many interests: mountain bikes, horseback, snowboarding, skiing, concerts, local bands, good books, good food and good company. Call me. 64904 TALK T O ME A B O U T T H E silliness of the world and the humanity of people. T m a SWPF ISO a maA who sees me and smiles. 64884 ^ " I READ, EXPLORE O U T D O O R S , enjoy music, meditate and dream of Hawaii. I fill each waffle square w/ syrup. I'm 43 & ISO a companion. 64885 ARE YOU ISO SHY DWF, 37, 5'7", 145 lbs., w/ 2 teenagers, who loves most anything outdoors, movies, dining out? If so, call and cure my shyness. 64890

Qlttor

AM I DREAMING? I (WiWF, 49) dream you are taking my hand and we are walking through life together. Do we have the stuff dreams are made of? Look in your mirror. Do you see me with you? I live in Southern Vermont, but dream clouds travel. 64866 MR. "MAYBE." VIBRANT SINGLE mom, 30+, with Fran Drescher style and a Rhoda outlook on life seeks an outgoing guy, 30+, for friendship and potential relationship. Must be upbeat and enjoy life. 64867 N O T H I N G VENTURED, N O T H I N G gained. DWPF, 50's, petite, attractive, NS, seeking romantic, emotionally/financially secure gentleman to share dancing, dining, movies, walks, quiet times & cuddling. 64834 PLAYING IS W H A T MAKES M E happy. SWF, 23, seeks M, 21-30, who's not afraid to be a kid. Passion for hiking, biking & other outdoorsy things. 64846 SWF, 24, ISO A FRIEND T O H A N G out with and has more personality than my pet rock. 64836 SW ALPHA F, 36, SEEKS ALPHA M, 30's. House trained, enjoys senseless tail wagging and howling at the moon. Into bisquits, walks and sniffing trees. 64850 W I N G S W O M A N SEEKS H O M E Improvement man for Mad About You future w/ Northern Exposure quality. No Frasiers, Laroquette's OK. Think Thirtysomething Farrah Fawcett. Friends first. PS—I hate TV! 64856 A R D E N T DWF, 38, N O KIDS, seeking NS S/DWM, 35-42, to share love of outdoors, animals, music, dancing, music, cuddling and quiet times. Integrity's important. Must be financially & emotionally secure, as I am. 64854 WANTED: S O M E O N E W H O enjoys the beach, movies, hiking, or just hanging out w/ friends and is 18-22. I'm 18, have strawberry blonde/blue eyes. 64818 DWF, 46, SEEKING D W M , 40-50, for serious friendship on LT basis. Homebody, likes camping and intelligent conversation. Must be able to laugh. 64824 DROP-DEAD G O R G E O U S southern sunn-belle, 26, spending summer in VT. I enjoy step aerobics, fashion and entertaining. ISO ecstasy with an experienced 90s Woman? I'm waiting. 64820 LEATHER & LACE. Plus-sized beauty, 35, ISO LTR w/ intelligent, emotionally present, independent, 30-40ish professional. Working out, movies & trying new restaurants are in my repertoire. Also searching for that exceptional gentleman w/ streak of dominance in the bedroom. Serious inquires only. 64828

byAlisonBectael

PERSON

CYCLING PARTNERS W A N T E D . DWF, 55, 5'9", seeks friend who loves outdoors to share concerts, picnics, hikes, biking, campfires, exploring, dining out, quiet times and more. 64792 CURVACEOUS LAKE N Y M P H — blonde, Michelle PfeifFer type w/ extensive collection of bathing suits—seeks suave, 30+, sailor who desires a decorative, delightful 1st mate. 64794 SAILOR, SCUBA DIVER, TRAVELER, SWPF, 40's, fun-loving, honest, diversified woman, likes to laugh, arts, fine cuisine & champagne ISO SWPM, 40's or 50's, w/ similar interests. 64802 CELTIC FIRE IN MY SOUL. Rubenesque, romantic, independent professional, 32, not afraid of a little pampering—enjoys cooking, dining out, movies, theater, music, travelling, deep conversations—ISO gentleman who embraces life's challenges w/ courage & humor to share my passion for love & life. 64804 SWF, 28, LOVES T O BE SPOILED, prefer M who enjoys stock car racing, boating, camping and most sports, is outgoing, has great sense of humor and loves to laugh. 64809 SWF, 32, C U T E , FRIENDLY, intelligent and interesting, seeking SWM, 2735. Must be good looking, artistic, daring and responsible. 64797 CLASSIQUE FANTASY: Dishy strawberry blonde, married, late 30's, into little black dresses and silly toenail polish colors, seeks hip, funny smart, creative, handsome, younger man for summer sexploration. Wahoo! 64784 HIKING PARTNER WANTED! SPF, 44, fit, attractive w/ broad interests and progressive politics, ISO growing M who likes dogs. Swing dancing a +. 64757 SF, 27, VIRGO SEEKING WATER sign. Organic farmer/poet enjoys work for its own sake, reading & rain. Make me laugh. Harmless weirdos O.K. 64765 DANCE PARTNER?? DWF, attractive, shapely lady desires ballroom/country dance partner, 45-60. 64777 TAKE A C H A N C E ! 23 YO NS SWPF, full-figured, cute. I'm very outgoing and financially secure. Love tennis, football, hockey, etc., as well as family and great nights out. Seeking stable, NS, financially secure SWPM with lots of imagination and an open mind. 64752 I'M A SWPF, 31, ATTRACTIVE A N D educated, looking for a SWM, 30-35, who is well educated, handsome (JFK, Jr. type handsome); a financially secure professional by day and a romantic, outdoorsy, creative, physically active sportsman at night; and days off, too. 64770

R O M A N T I C W I T H A HEART O F gold. SWF, 47, petite, blonde. I am emotionally secure, independent, honest, kind, caring and loving. Hope to find the same in someone. Enjoy dining out, outdoor activities and quiet evenings at home. Honesty and sincerety required. No head games. 64766 46 YO DPF, RESIDING IN N E VT, seeks relationship with NS gentle man in same age range. I enjoy good conversation, dancing and nature. I am practical, organized, yet have a flair for the wild side. Like to pamper and be pampered. 64758 C E N T R A L V T DWF, 42, SEEKING A NS M w/ family values. I enjoy walking, animals, good conversation & still believe in happily ever after. 64735

MEN SEEKING WOMEN AS REQUESTED, A N I C E GUY, 34, NS SWPM, 6'3", seeking a pretty/cute, fit SWPF, 25-35. I enjoy many outdoor activities, music, and time w/ friends and family. I'm caring, honest, fun and adventurous. Looking for some of the same, some new, and finding more laughter. 64844 ALIVE, S P O N T A N E O U S , O P E N hearted, emotionally present Leo, 42, seeks companionship w/ open-minded, vibrantly spiritual, independent, financially secure F for adventures to N Z this fall/winter. 64937 21 YO M SEEKS F FOR DISCREET, intimate sessions. Are you free in afternoons? I promise to drive you into ecstasy! Just try me! 64938 DYING T O LOSE I N N O C E N C E which fills up Pandora's box or such. Uninhibited woman to take me by the boot straps and "stir in some lovin'!" 64940 S W P M , 40, ATTRACTIVE, GREAT shape, in love with life, sensuous, treasures nature, arts, sports, outdoors, seeking attractive, fun, curvy F, age/race indifferent. Let's have total fun! 64946 W H E R E ARE YOU, BABY? Been without you too long, now! D W M , loves nature, camping, fishing, boating, onging for partner in all adventures. Blond/blue/ beard. 64953 N E E D A C U D D L E IN M O R E T O W N . I would like to meet someone who is sincere & honest. I'm 47, nicely built, good looking. Any takers? 64947

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PERSON HEALTHY, ATTRACTIVE, FUN SWM, 34, NS, NA, ND, ISO SF, 28-36. w/ same qualities. I enjoy music, spontaneity, laughing, dining, outdoors, passion, exercise & life! 64949 LET'S COMPLIMENT O N E ANOTHER... SWM, 31, 6'4", 205 lbs., physically/mentally fit, funny, good listner, handsome & honest. Interests: coffee, books, movies, long walks. ISO F, 26-34, attractive, intelligent believes in balance between physical/intellectual pursuits. 64950 SWM SEEKS FRIENDSHIP OF SF, 25-35. Must walk, talk, is a little bit crazy, but knows it, NA, ND. Dog friendly a must! 64951 UNTAMED WILDERNESS. SWM, 24, very attractive & fit. Enjoys working out, long drives & quiet evenings at home. Try me out for size. 64952 MOTHERNATURE ENTHUSIAST Fit, affectionate SWM, artisan, 37, ISO SWPF, 27-37, who enjoys deep snow, high wind, good food. Please send photo of skis, snowboard, sailboard. 64954 TIME T O SHARE. Available SWM, 41 now on the market. Pristine condition (hardly used), many options, in A-l operating condition. 64956 PHYSICAL & FEMINIST. DWM, 48, runner, biker, fit, authentic, centered, passionate, optimistic professional who loves film, humor, good food and travel, seeks LTR. 64923 SW STARVING ARTIST M, 38, ISO equally starving model/companion or wannabe, 22-40ish. ISO tone, definition curvaciousness and elegance. Race unimportant. Travelling soon. Call ASAP. 64925 RENAISSANCE MAN. Handsome, progressive, fun, trustworthy, cut-loose kind of guy, 41, 5'6", financially secure, emotionally mature. Must be intelligent, worldly, attractive, fit and 28+. 64924 RECIPE FOR FUN: Me, SWM, ND, 22, in shape, loves outdoors, good conversation, grill, beer, food. ISO missing ingredient: SF, ND, 25-35 and in shape. 64927 ATTRACTIVE, SINCERE SWPM, NS ND, 35, enjoys hiking, biking, skiing, movies, travel, symphony and quiet evenings. Seeking pleasant, attractive SWPF, NS, ND, 26-36, to join me in these activities and perhaps introduce me to some new ones. Maybe we click, maybe we don't. Let's try! 69430 TAKE A CLOSER LOOK. 40 YO, tall, fit, attractive, professional, NS, sensitive and responsible. Enjoys movies, music, the beach and intelligent conversation. ISO fit, attractive, romantic and adventurous F, 30-40, NS, to enjoy life and companionship. 64912 RAINBOW RIDGE! Mellow, multiethnic, multicultural BiM, 44 (looks 29), NS, w/ a passion for live music, bicycling, dancing & nontraditional spirituality ISO BiF, 25-40, NS w/ equal multifaceted interests & who loves to cuddle & be cuddled for close friendship leading to LTR. 64920 SAILING COMPANION. Retired business executive needs a young pair of hands to help sail on Lake Champlain and Maine Coast this summer. Can accommodate your vacation schedule. Sailing experience not necessary; I will teach you how to sail. 64913 SERIAL MONOGAMIST O N T H E loose. Seeks F, 40-55, plain or exotic, race of your choice, w/ energy, passion, aliveness, intellect, intensity & velvety softness. Movies, books, computing, cooking together, staying fit (fanatic here) & various outdoors stuff be my way. No smokers. 64922 USER FRIENDLY M, 42, 5'10", blue/ brown, considered handsome. I'm healthy, educated & self-employed. Helpless romantic: love wining & dining (I'm a great cook), romantic getaways, picnicking, movies, dancing, hiking, canoeing, camping. Eclectic taste in music. I'm contemplative, meditate & love to read. ISO attractive F, 30-45. 64891

< TO >

ATTRACTIVE SWM, 22, ISO uninATTACHED MALE SEARCHING for hibited, attractive SWF, 18-35, for secret natural blonde, strawberry or red-haired romps. No strings attached. Explore, F, 18-24, for fun and frolic. You: may or experiment or just fun. Hurry! 64786 may not be attached, weight/height proNEW T O MARKET! DWPM, 36, 6 T \ portionate, would not mind a relation195 lbs.— likes blading, biking, dancing, ship with a young man of 34—clean, long walks and romantic times— ISO fit drug free and respectable. Me: great D/SWF, 28-40, for friends/LTR. 64787 teacher, patient, sensitive; more details I CAN COOK, TOO! DM, 38, pasinside. No weird stuff here, just pure sionate for arts, outdoors and sharing real mutual pleasure. 64863 life, ISO F to hike, bike, talk, listen and SWPM, 40'S, VERY YOUNG, youthful explore the possibilities. 64759 looking, 5'H", 180 lbs. NS, athletic and SAX ALL N I G H T LONG! Music is my intelligent, very attractive, easy going, life! Yours, too! I'm a tall, handsome, sensitive and kind, loves outdoors, bikintelligent SWNSNDPM, 27, who also ing, hiking, swimming, dancing and likes sports (tennis, basketball, swimnature; financially and emotionally ming, etc.), ISO SWF, 25-35, who is fit secure; seeking happy, fun-loving, attracattractive and tall. 64767 tive woman for friendship. 64874 N O TIME FOR GAMES. Tired of DWPM, 40ISH, ISO FIT WPF, being ignored? 2 wild guys with no emoNS/ND, 35-45ish, who loves the outtional needs, only physical needs, looking doors, camping, hiking, biking, skiing, for 2 women, 25-40, who want to ride community, friends, family, secure on the wild side. Let's go out of town for lifestyle. I love kids. 64864 fun and play. 64769 JOIN ME ON T H E ROAD LESS trav3 1/2 YO M PUPPY—un-neutered, but eled. DWM, 32, NS, tall, caring, funny, has had all shots, in good health—seeks enjoys children, deep conversations, outattractive F for various activities. Likes doors, walks, biking, ISO F w/ similar water, games w/ balls, exercise & the outinterests. 64837 doors. F must be active, very intelligent HANDSOME MAN, 29, BLACK & willing to learn new tricks. 64775 HAIR, blue eyes, tall, slim, fit, enjoys old SAILING COMPANION. Retired busicars, outdoors, quiet times, movies. ISO ness exec, needs a young pair of hands to sexy F, fun, wild nights. 64839 help sail on Lake Champlain and Maine SWPM, NS/ND, 36, ROOTED, FIT, coast this summer. Can accommodate active, intelligent, busy, doesn't think life your vacation schedule. Sailing exp. not is short. Greatest joys include: biking, necessary as I'll teach you to sail. 64773 camping, music, theater, exploring, w o m e n s e e k i n c j men IF CHEMISTRY'S THERE, IT'S ALL inventing, growing food, cooking slow, possible: intimacy, connection, nurtureating well and puttering. And healthy ing, friendship, love. I'm 31, tall, attracintimacy. ISO SPF, 28-38, w/ similar tive, professional, genuine. Are you 25basic stuff, for companionship, synergy 30, believe relationship is essential? Call! and experience. 64843 64774 LIFE ACT II. DWPM, 41, NS, 6', 150 SHY, LONELY, DISABLED SWM, 42, lbs., educator, sugar guy, vegetarian, Virgo, seeking uninhibited Pisces F for Percherons, 1/2-time dad, progressive w/ friendship and fun. Discretion assured. traditional VT values, positive, high relationship with cat, seeks Jean-Luc Smoker preferred. 64762 energy, romantic. 64855 SWM, 23, SEEKS SWF, 20-26. MUST Plcard wannabe. I enjoy gardening, desire only honesty and sincerety for the possibility of a LTR. Good sense of WOMEN S E E K I N G WOMEN reading, walking, conversing and eathumor an added bonus. 64847 WHERE IS HE? THAT MAN YOU ing good food. 1 do not like smoking or dreamed of when you were a girl? Secure, TIRED OF Bi GAMES? GWF, 18, ISO good-looking, fit, positive, affectionate a butch dyke. Shaved heads, tattoos, better coping through chemistry. SWPM seeks similar woman, 26-36, for piercings are a plus, 18-21. 64939 everything. 64§45 DESPERATELY SEEKING YOUNG, If you are happy with your life and DWPM, 37. I LIVE A VERY interesting attractive, uninhibited F for fun, fantasy, life of laughter, loving, leisure and pleafriendship, or just hanging out. 64935 consider yourself a good person, sure. If interested, send picture & short, SINCERE, HONEST, MATURE, easysweet letter. Age not important. 64838 give a call. going GWF, 34, 57", 125 lbs., enjoys ARE THERE ANY OLDER WOMEN sports, dining out, quiet times and interested in adult, erotic fun w/ a young romance. ISO someone special to have man? 6'2", 170 lbs., 20, brown/hazel, fun and go through life's journey with. ISO attractive, in shape, sexual, open F, Prefer common interests, NS, N D and 24-40.64840 the Rutland area. 64932 SENSITIVE, CARING, ROMANTIC, lYrxNitiliit Iu ui c U wm> TS W I T H FEMALE BODY ISO daring witty and honest SWM, 30's. Enjoys ilimrr woman to escape gender rigidity. Kate cooking, music, walks in the park and tor two ill more. Seeks honest, intelligent F for Bornstein, author, is my hero. In favor of COSnOS DINER friendship and possible LTR. 64848 breaking out to spiritual freedom. 64882 IIIOStictburncRd. I AM A 20-SOMETHING GUY W/ So. Burlington GEMINI WRITER ISO FIERY LEO to 651-5774 blue eyes and a great personality. Are you inspire me. Must be balanced, bold and an older woman (35) who might enjoy beautiful. Willing to relocate for the right discreet summer fun? 64849 WANTED: O N E G O O D HEARTED woman. 64826 RASTAMAN (SWM, 5 7 " , 150 LBS., woman who's adventurous, assertive, IN N O RUSH. Intelligent, warm, attractive) seeks Jah loving F, 18-44, to independent, attractive, articulate, comsecure, creative, trustworthy, plus-sized enjoy VT, hiking, music, reggae, arts, passionate, slender, playful, optimistic, lesbian, 52. Interests: theology, spiritualiphotog., conversation & more. 64857 loves music, romance, laughter, candlelit ty, literature, movies, enjoy pets, laughter, VERY CUTE SWM, 24, CLEVER, FIT, evenings, walks. SPM, 29, gentleman, often prefer sensuality to sexuality. 64831 attentive, knowing, sexy, seeks confident, ISO SPF, 25-35, NS/ND. 64879 LOOKING FOR THAT SPECIAL lady sensual, intelligent, brazen F, 35-50, for SWM, 29, 6'3", BLUE EYES, looking to share my life with! There are wonderadult, summer play & hedonism. 64816 for athletic SWF for passionate encounful ladies out there looking for a kind SWPM, 31, WANTING LESS WORK, ters. No commitment, just erotic fun and more play to re-establish finer points in person like me! 64793 summer memories. 64872 life. ISO mature, slender, athletic, talkaGWF, 31, MATURE, STABLE, 5 7 " , CAT'S G O T MY TONGUE, doggy's tive, open-minded SWPF to share inter190 lbs., loves animals, movies, chatting taking me for a run. Northeast ests, thoughts, activities. 64821 at cafes, theater, window shopping, ISO Kingdom/Flatlander hybrid, 40ish—avid TALL, CARING DWM, 47, ENJOYS rec. athlete, funny, attentive, responsible, buddies or LTR: mature, genuinely nice, walking, cooking and gardening. Seeking caring—seeks very pleasant, fun, uninsimilar interests, not a lot of baggage, no SF w/ similar and different interests. hibited F athlete, 22+, for adventures, extremes. 64814 Looking for friend/possible LTR. 64832 sexy fun, TLC & LTR. 64873 FARM GIRL WANTED. NS/ND M, MaWM, 31, SEEKS CREATIVE SF, 21-30, to do dinner, walks, misc. vandal40's, 5'11", 165 lbs., hard-working, ism. Must have own spray can, like anihandsome, healthy, energetic, fit, sexy, mals. Must like mindless rambling, red ISO attractive, fit, healthy NS/ND F wine and philosophical discussions of within 50 mi. of Burlington. 64791 MASCULINE, BROAD shouldered guy squash. Deny everything. 64870 DECENT GUY, GRAD STUDENT, looking for same. 181 lbs., green eyes, young 40, seeking F companions for ten34' waist, brown hair. Discreet and nis, skiing, intelligent conversation, expect the same. Your photo gets mine. music, water sports, hikes, friendship & Take a chance. 64945 possibly even affection. 64795 NEW IN TOWN. HAVEN'T MADE WANT A MASSAGE? Expert masseuse friends yet. SGM, 34, well-built, romanneeds practice. Will massage you for tic, versatile, enjoys movies, dancing, hours. Honest, sincere, warm, fit, healthy working out, hiking, massages. You: same SWM, ND, 29, 5' 10", 185 lbs. 64800 interests, 25-45, ND, masculine. Want to SEEKING NIRVANA. Me: positive, share some fun? Call me. Help me to active, attractive. You: sane, crazy and know the area and we'll see what happens fun for camping, sports, romance & posnext. 64931 sible LTR. 64796 SUGAR DADDY ISO SWEET BOYS AND THEIR TOYS. GWM, 42, YOUNG T H I N G for fun times. No into wheels, motors and things that go "zoom." You like to play hard by day, taboos. My treat. 64808 and kick back with your hair in your eyes LONELY, SENSITIVE, GENTLE at night. Let's enjoy the finer things in DWM with great hands seeking fun, life together. 64911 open-minded F for adult fun and erotic MORNING COFFEE. GM, 35, encounters. You will not be disappointed. Burlington area, fit, handsome, slightly Marital status unimportant. 64812 eccentric, seeks unique man, 25-49, for good times in the summer sun. Enjoy hiking, skinny-dipping, travel to out-of-

SYMPTOMS: SLOW PULSE, LOW blood pressure, minimal response to stimuli. Condition: prolonged lack of human contact. Cure: F, 20-35, willing to revive a once strong heart. 64899 WESTLEY. ISO BUTTERCUP, 25-30, to rescue from fireswamps and libidinous Princes. Let's put the five great kisses to shame. 64902 SWM, 35, FIT & ACTIVE, ISO SF, 25-38, who is attractive, sexy, enjoys boating, snow machines, hiking, biking, camping, canoeing. You name it. Let's go. No head games. 64905 SWM, 30, ISO EDUCATED, attractive, active, sexy WF, 32-36, for LTR of laughter, love, outdoors and more. Give me a try. Kids OK. 64878 LET'S HOLD HANDS T H R O U G H thick and thin. World citizen and traveler, 40 years young, 5'5", looking for a long-term companion. Let's be friends and grow into love. 64888 CELTIC WARRIOR SEEKING wisdom & fun, has boat, loves to travel. Journey w/ me for awhile; share the adventure. 64881

Personal o f t h e Week

SF, 30, UNFULFILLED BY

64942

MEN SEEKING MEN

L0V£... inn ' f i l l ®

is only n a fLF*

3 8

PERSON

11 numbers

away.

SEVEN

DAYS

X X y Dear Lola,

I was born with Klinefelter's

Syndrome,

which means I have an extra chromosome. As you know, a female is an xx and a male is an xy. I am an xxy. I have very small testicles a n d womanshaped hips. I used to have very larse

breasts,

but they were removed through surgery. I am completely sterile and I feel like a woman a n d have dreams to be one. Can you

help?

— extra X in Highgate Dear Cxtra, According to the American

Medical

Association's Dictionary,

Medical hormonal

and/or surgical

treatment

can help correct some of) the developmental characteristic

defects

Klinefelter's Syndrome. However, because

this

defect affects every one ot your cells, no "cure" is possible. Please know that you are not alone. Klinetelter's

occurs in

about one in 500 male births. There are a number ot doctors that can help you understand

your

physical situation and tind comtort with your psyche. Fletcher Allen hospital has a renowned genetics experts on its statt a n d will send you personal information the subject, your

as well as

options.

With love,

Jjola P.O. 255 S. Champlain Street Burlington, VT 05402 august

27*:

I M A ,

• ifigtyt*

PERSON the-way places, dining in and out, animals, politics and sharing the first cup of morning coffee. 64915 G E T T I N G EVEN W I T H D A D . Submissive leatherman, 6', 195 lbs., bearded, balding, hairy-chested, seeks dominant men 8c rebellious boys f o j kinky, creative, limit-stretching encounters. Rigid restraints & old-fashioned woodshed discipline gratefully accepted. Men with well-equipped tool and toy boxes especially welcome. 64895 T O SHARE SIMPLE S O L O satisfaction. Enjoy modeling and nude swimming. Available daytimes. 64877 ALL A R O U N D G O O D GUY, 43, athletic, in-shape, good-looking, stable, clean cut conservative with a wild side ISO same, 25-45, for friendship, relationship. 64880 40 YO GUY L O O K I N G for Bi/married guys for sharing simple, solo satisfaction. Discretion assured & expected. 64871 H A N D S O M E BiWM, 32, 6'3", 175 lbs., seeks well-built, bi or curious, straight men only for discreet adventures. Social drinker/smokers OK. 64875

M To respond to M l l b o x ads: Seal your response 1n an enve lope, write box# on the outside and place 1n another envelope with I S f o r each response and address t o : PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1164, B u r l i n g t o n , VT 05402

CELEBRATE T H E YEAR 2000 W/ ME. We'll have three years to practice jumping up and down and hugging and kissing. Jumping not required/I'm 45. Box 185 INVADE MY PERSONAL SPACE! SWPF, 35, bright, educated, warm, energetic, attractive, seeks male counterpart to play with in the mountains,on theTWattt, = indoors...write. Box 183 STRIKING BRUNETTE, 5 7 " , 30'S, A bit strange, but in a good way. Loves swimming, dancing, alternative music, movies, reading, animals. Seeking SM for friendship, romance, future. Must like cats and my sister (she said I had to put that in!). Send letter, photo, fingerprints, dental records. Box 184 VERV A'lTRACl 1VE WIDOW, cultured, educated, seeks kind and intellectual M, 60s, for true friendship. Box 176 MAKE MY M O M HAPPY! She's a DWF, 56, intelligent & lively. Loves books, arts and travel. Lives in PA, but often frequents VT. ISO interesting M, 54-58. Box 173 MUSIC. ARTS & NATURE LOVER: Happily situated in work & life, diverse, humorous, open M, 40's, sought; evolved social & aesthetic consciousness a must.

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G O O D L O O K I N G , FRIENDLY, hairy, Italian guy new to VT, 32, loves nature, outdoor activities & nude swimming, seeks masculine, natural, athletic guide and co-adventurer. 64835 S P I R I T E D MAN W A N T E D : 36, 145 lbs., 5'8", brown/hazel, fit, active, honest, attractive, responsible, committed, in search of another decent guy who is nurturing, can play, laugh, is cultured and shares mutual vision for friendship or possible relationship. 64842 N O R W I C H : G W M , 58, 5'10", 150 lbs., charismatic and professionally secure artist/academic—optimistic, humorous, emotionally vulnerable—seeks serious relationship w. intelligent, self-aware, gentle and compassionate M w/ interests in medicine, sciences, computers, languages and Classical music. 64852 G W M , 32, 6', BROWN/BABY BLUES, ISO similar with love of theatre, travel, quiet times at home, 20-40. 64861 R O M A N C E IN T H E AIR. 39 YO W M , hairy 8c bottom man, looking for G W M , 30-40, for friendship/relationship. 64817 Q U E E R S T U D E N T , 21, ISO SINEWY and sensuous Asian prinz in his 20's for vodka cocktails, probing discussion, deep massage, roof-top cigarette and... 64825

A FINE YOUNG B U C K BiWM, 21, 5'9", 140 lbs. blnd./hzl., college student, athletic, well-built, versatile, intense, ide alist, romantic, motivated Wyoming ranch boy. I'm straightedge, but openminded. 64827 MASC7GWM733, B L O N D E , seeking my partner, 30-38. You: dark-haired, into sports; you drink & smoke too much, but physically look great. Call me. 64830 GUY N E X T D O O R ISO LOW-KEY friends able to stir up some occasional mischief. Mid 20's, sense of humor, good taste in beer all appreciated. 64798 SUNSETS D O N ' T C U T I T FOR this fiery 22 YO NYC queen. ISO an alternative kind of wilderness. Show me there's more to Vermont than scenery. 64815 G O O D M A N / M A N Y QUALITIES, 37, 6', professional, enjoys gardening, dining, theatre and other activities. Seeking G M , 30-50, wanting to spend meaningful times together; who realizes truthfulness, kindness and caring must be shared equally, not one-sided. 64790 BiWM, 19, 125 LBS., ISO G/Bi MEN, any age, for discreet fun in Rutland area. 64763 O N E O F T H E W O R L D ' S GREAT kissers is lonely! G W M , 33, brown/hazel,

Athletic prowess a +. I'm 42, pretty, fit in body/spirit. Box 168 THIS IS IT! FIT, ATTRACTIVE SWPF, NS/ND, 25, seeking SWPM, 25-30, also ISO the right person. You like to bike, run, hike, spend time outdoors, and romantic evenings. You are educated, attractive, witty, sincere. Dark hair a must. Photo + letter please. All responses answered. Box 161 SUBMIT. BEAUTIFUL DOMINATRIX seeks obedient submissive. To be considered send photo and letter of intention. You won't be disappointed. Box 158 NS/ND DWCF, 41, W/ OLD-FASHIONED values seeks a N D one-woman M, 38-47, w/ family values, inner peace, enjoys camping, theatre, biking, concerts, farmers markets, good books & canoeing. Box 155

I W A N T T O M E E T T H E M O S T intelligent woman on the planet and I don't care what she looks like. Box 187 S W P M , 40, 5 ' l l " , 165 LBS., NS, resides in Pittsburgh, NY, may soon live part-time in VT. Enjoy hiking, walking, snowshoeing, shopping, evenings out, etc. Box 188 SM SEEKS SF, M O N T P E L I E R / Washington Cnty. area. LTR possible, desirable. Urge for revelry required. Reply gets details. Funny photo gets mine, too. Box 180 TALL, B R O W N / B L U E PISCES, 43, single, enjoys history, geography, art, finance, warmth, ambition. Seeking very private correspondence from shy, nurturing, gracious reader with penetrating psychological beam. Box 181

PERSON

sturdy build, seeks romance and moonlight with sensuous, kindred spirit, 3045. 64776 B U R L I N G T O N AREA G M , 35, NS, vegetarian, liberal, political, animal lover seeks kindered spirit for a passionately playful, good time. Let's hike the hills, travel the back roads and explore our planet and ourselves. Help me find my inner beast. 64753

CAPOERISTAS! wanted to practice capoeria in Burlington area. Any level or style. 64919 P O S I T I O N AVAILABLE. Sir Stephan seeks pet for "O." You may: submit a letter requesting the pleasure of our consideration. Compliance expected. Obedience required. Gender negotiable. 64893 TRANSSEXUAL WANTS T O M E E T A woman who is supportive and understanding and willing to help emotionally. Haven't taken hormones, yet. 64944

IVY-EDUCATED, P h D , 60'S, attractive, trim male embarrassed to be placing this ad. If you are embarrassed to be reading it, please write. Box 164 MARRIED W M SEARCHING FOR discreet F, 30-40, for summer romantic encounters. Discretion imperative. N o photo, no call. Box 165 MARRIED W M , 37, ATTRACTIVE, affectionate, clean cut, discreet, gentle, N S / N D , desires same in a special lady for erotic encounters. Discretion and interest in erotic pleasure/adventure a must. Let's explore together. Box 166 LOVE IS SO C O M P L I C A T E D , B U T affection is simple enough. S W M , 30, with dark features & humor, ISO F, 2040, for conversing, eating, swimming, sexing. Art, critical thinking, and massage skills valued. Send self-portrait, photos, fingerprints,or a letter. Box 167 SINGULARLY SUPPLE S E N I O R , slim six-footer, sensuous, sensitive, securely sinecured scribe, songwriter, seasonal skater, skier, swimmer, sinner seeks simpatico seniorita to share Shelburne summer siestas soon. Box 160 YOU'RE A N I C E Y O U N G LADY and no one would believe you dream about having a secret relationship. I'm your male equivalent. Let's talk. Box 162 H A N D S O M E , FIT W M , EARLY 20'S, looking for older woman, 30-40+ (married?), attractive and fit, for hot, steamy summer nights! no strings, no attachments. Photo a must. Box 159 WELL-TRAVELLED, WELL-EDUCATED SWM, 25, happy, goofy, outgoing, honest, 6'1", blonde/blue, seeking cute, hip, flamboyant sweetheart for adventure, romance and fun. Box 156

SPY

SAW YOU I N ACADIA. You're from Barre, VT. You were going biking. I'm from Burlington. Would like to chat or bike if you are interested. 64921 YMCA PARKING LOT, 8/6, 8:30 A M . You: in dark 900 car. Me: repairman in orange shirt. Let's talk 64907 SAILOR, BARNES & N O B L E , 7/31: You want a Cape Dory 25, me a Bristol 32. Interested in joining me for an extended cruise? Please call. Let's talk. 64908

OTHER

IMPROVE YOUR SENSUAL SKILLS! Your partner will be delighted without knowing what's caused the change. Discreet, private instruction. No fee, I'm just happy to help. Box 178 JTRA V E R M O N T , S W M , 50, CENTRAL lean and deep, seeks mystically inclined F wih longest earrings this side ofTashkent for evenings passionately intellectual and eruditely sensuous. Box 175 S W P M , 23, TALL, ATHLETIC, intelligent. Enjoys sailing, skiing, basketball. Seeking NS SWF, 19-27, for romance with same. Box 172 BE ALL YOU CAN BE. Very fit, goodlooking, 52, of significant financial means seeks younger, extremely attractive, thin, no-nonsense, ambitious, goal oriented woman who needs the help and support of a dedicated, wise, very discreet man hoping to fulfill our complementary needs. I'm very sincere and enjoy catering to and pampering women, and taking charge of domestic and other menial responsibilities to free you to pursue your dreams. You will not be disappointed. Photo and note with expectations and needs. Box 174 S W M , 34, FAT, UGLY, NIHILISTIC, bibliomaniac seeks female for philosophizing and general insanity. Sense of humor a must. Age unimportant. Absolutely no sex. Box 170 ATTRACTIVE W M , M I D 30'S, openminded, clean cut, discreet, NS, desires classy lady /couple for summer 8c winter encounters. Discretion assured. Box 171 TALL, ATTRACTIVE MAN W O U L D like to meet two beautiful, sexy, young ladies for discreet fun, even just once. Hey, everybody has a dream!! Box 169

G W M ISO DYNAMIC INDIVIDUAL. Must be: GM, 35-40, handsome, spiritually aware, in good shape, good sense of humoi; independent, able to appreciate nature, able to travel and adopt. Photo a must. Box 179 WM, MID-20'S, SEEKS Bi/GM, 18-25, and thin for discreet relationship. Box 157

M / F COUPLE LOOKING T O HAVE discreet, sensual fun with dean F, 18-30. Please send picture and letter describing yourself and your interests. Box 182 CANADIAN PWS, NS, 40'S, LOVES all the beautiful things in life: art, music, nature. Homely and well travelled, pro£ educator, serious and humorous. Letter appreciated. Box 177

ANIMAL—PRETTY W O M A N FROM Vermont! Pumping gas, 8/12/97, Haps Market, Crown Point. Are you single? Red-headed animal, 34, single man. foraging for den companion! Box 186

5 d i g i t box n u m b e r s can be c o n t a c l e d either through voice mail or by letter. 3 d i g i t box n u m b e r s can onlv be c o n t a c t e d by letter. S e n d letter a l o n g w I $5 to P O Box 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , VT 0 5 4 0 2

Love in cyberspace. Point your web browser to http://www.wizn.com/7days.hfm to submit your message on-line. YOUR

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BURLINGTON,

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27,

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WEEKS

4 FRCC weeks for:

W O M E N SEEKING MEN W O M E N SEEKING W O M E N MEN S E E K I N G W O M E N MEN S E E K I N G M E N

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