Seven Days, August 28, 1996 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE her trial, Pavlinac testified she made up the whole story because she was trying to escape an abusive relationship with Sosnovske. The jury believed her original, taped confession, however, leaving Sosnovske to plead no contest so he could avoid the death penalty Last year, Keith Hunter

New A$e Kosher An Israeli communications satellite launched into space in .May was designed to follow Jewish law by not operating on the Sabbath and holy days. The Itim news agency reported that religiously observant scientists who helped plan the Amos satellite insisted that its main motor rest on the days specified in the Bible. Yigal Banat, head of the trajectory monitoring team, noted that the satellite's launch on a Friday just before the Feast of Weeks holiday made the observance particularly difficult; nevertheless, "the management of the Amos program decided to abide by this constraint in order not to break the Sabbath in Israel."

warning came after police arrested five South Korean tourists whose van was discovered filled with the paws and entrails of six bears. • Australia's Queensland state officially advised professional crocodile handlers not to "place any part of one's body in the mouth of a crocodile." Written for the state's burgeoning crocodile industry, including 17 game

content; that's generally what porcupines are looking for when they chew signs, build-, ings, paint or anything like that," said Forest Service spokesperson Galen Roesler. "Obviously, if people get in their car in the morning and start down the canyon and suddenly don't have brakes, it's a real hazard."

Odd Ends

Convicted murderers John Sosnovske, 42, and Laverne Pavlinac, 62, served four years of their life sentences before they were released when the real killer confessed. The Oregon couple had been convicted in the first place because Pavlinac confessed to killing 23-year-old Taujna Bennett and implicated Sosnovske. At

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farms and parks, the Michael P. Olson, 13, was babies, cloning of human government-pub- ' found dead in Eau Claire, embryos,-creation of animallished Workplace Wisconsin, with his entire head human hybrids and other ^ S Health and Safety guide ^ also mentions the . owJi ^ tional crocodile and capturing < Jesperson insisted that he alone killed Bennett, as well as seven especially if the other women, earning the epithan the reptile. Under the thet "Happy-Face Killer" for heading Unsafe Activities confessing to the crimes to guide further warns: "Do not obsessed with any kind of Jv > measure requires the donor news outlets in letters, each sit on the back of a crocodile." tape." couples to notify clinics to • In England, Mark Gleeson, extend storage for up to five adorned with a drawing of a • The U.S. Forest Service offismiling face. daily closed the Rod and Gun 26, suffocated in his sleep after more years. "It has been very Campground in South stuffing two tampons up his distressing and frustrating for everyone," Hands Oft Dakota's Little Spearfish nose to stop his snoring. Told — — " said Professor Ian Craft, director of a London Thailand's tourism authoriCanyon to protect campers by doctors after a car accident rom ty officially warned South f porcupines, which were eight years earlier that his snor- test-tube clinic where 200 embryos were thawed and Korean visitors not to eat the discovered slipping under j n g was incurable, he was incinerated. "They should have bears, which are considered a campers' vehicles and gnawing spending the night with his girlfriend in Haslemere, Surrey, given people a year s grace to delicacy in South Korea but are through brake lines to drink and stuck two of her tampons claim unclaimed embryos," O the brake fluid. "I assume a lot protected by Thai law. The of petroleum products have salt

Credit Where It's Due

up his nose and secured them with tape before going to sleep on her sofa.

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SEVEN DAYS

COLLEGE OF VERMONT

august

28 .

1996

RACINE NO WIMP I must admit my friend Peter Freyne really got it wrong in his colu m n last week about D o u g Racine, the Democratic candidate for lieutenant governor. I know Peter prefers candidates who give their opponents black-and-blues and bloody noses during campaign, but that's not D o u g Racine's style. H e is someone who sticks to issues and doesn't step into the gutter. W h e t h e r you like Doug's views or nor, he prefers to have them correctly stated. It is hardly "wimping out" to send out exactly what your views are on property taxes. John Carroll had been distorting D o u g Racine's views in a typical Carroll campaign style that includes lies and distortion. In some campaign ads, Carroll criticized D o u g for holding views that Carroll had publicly supported in the past. T h r o u g h the years D o u g Racine has refined some of his views on this very complex issue of property tax reform and wanted the press to know exactly what they were. Please tell me what is wrong with that. To ever insinuate that D o u g changed his views because of Carroll's ads is absolutely absurd.

everybody needs their own everything. Giving away our time and attention — which creates community — is bad for the economy. T h e best way to meet and know another person is in the context of community. Until we free ourselves from the tyranny of our cultures economic religion, which places no value in love, family or community, these will continue to be hard to find — but I can think of nothing better to do than to keep trying. T h a n k you very much for your stimulating, community-building newspaper — and thanks for Rob Brezsny, too.

— Martin Holsinger E. Hardwick

WILL THE REAL ALTERNATIVE PLEASE v STAND UP? So Martin Joseph Ramuno of Burlington says that " W N C S is the true alternative radio station in this town," eh? Obviously, Mr. Ramuno hasn't been listening to W R U V - F M , the student-owned and -operated station at the University of Vermont. If he did, he'd discover that W R U V plays music that the so-called "alternative" commercial stations — T h e Point ( W N C S ) , the Champ-owned Pulse (WXPS-FM) and the Wizard-owned Buzz (the former B-100 in Plattsburgh) won't touch with a 10foot pole: rap/hip-hop; punk/hardcore; jazz; reggae/ska; folk; techno/ambient; even classic, "oldschool" soul, funk and r & b that would otherwise get no airplay at all in this, "the whitest state in America."

D o u g has been involved in Vermont politics for many years, but he has never become cynical. H e always stated that if he did, he'd know it was time to leave. If all politicians felt that way, we'd be in a heck of a lot better shape than we are now.

{Mary

And because W R U V is a non-commercial station — free from having to worry about the latest Arbitron ratings — it can get as radical as it wants to be with music the commercial stations can't air without alienating their predominantly Baby-Boomer listeners (Not to mention their advertisers). And that's my real "Point": you can't be alternative and be commercial in this market. T h e Baby I will proudly cast my ballot for Boomers — w h o m advertisers covet — dominate the D o u g Racine for lieutenant goverradio-audience here with an iron grip. If you don't nor. program music that satisfies Boomer tastes, you won't — Mary Sullivan make money, period. W N C S learned that lesson the hard way after it boosted its power to 50,000 watts a Burlington few years ago. W N C S today is nowhere near the Sullivan is a Democratic state representative alternative station it once was.

from Burlington) MARITAL STATUS Ellen Barry's essay on the decline of marriage was truly radical in that it that probes the roots of our society, raising questions and reflections that have staggering implications. I appreciate getting this kind of journalism from you. Since marriage in America is no longer an economic necessity, it must now stand or fall on whether it is fun; but most of us are so psychically ignorant and crippled that all we ever attract is one form or another of codependent relationship. Disappointment, frustration and divorce commonly result, especially since the level of self-centeredness considered normal in our culture (even a m o n g those who are aware of the codependence pitfall) makes it difficult for most of us to share close quarters with anybody, a situation that sexual intimacy usually only exacerbates. W h a t is to be done? Barbara Ehrenreich has documented Madison Avenue's decision in the early '70s that the counterculture was dangerous to the economy and should never be portrayed in a good light on television. From the economic standpoint, complete atomization and alienation are best — that way

And let's not forget the last attempt, in 1994, with an "alternative" commercial station in Burlington — the ill-fated "Experience," W E X P - F M (now all-oldies Kool 105). That station folded after only seven months. Neither T h e Pulse nor T h e Buzz will be able to survive in this market unless the "alternative" music they play is music that the Boomers will dig. And a lot of what the Boomers dig, the Generation X-ers can't stand (and vice-versa). Only a non-commercial station can truly be alternative. And we've had one such station here for more than 30 years: WRUV.

— D. B. Skeeter Sanders Burlington (Sanders is a classic-soul deejay on W R U V - F M ) .

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Dear Cecil, Regarding your July 19 column on cats always landing (relatively) unharmed on their feet after falling considerable distances, I thought you might be interested in knowing about an experiment carried out by a friend of mine when I lived in rural northern California. I should stress that this person is reliable (not given to lying or stretching the truth) and is the kind who would carry out the experiment described below. I should also stress that I was not a direct or indirect participant in this experiment, but that I have every reason to believe it is true. A cat was dropped from a Cessna 150 at the standard airport pattern altitude ot 800 feet. An observer on the ground (not me) who was an experiment participant (that is, they were expecting the cat to be coming and were on the lookout for it) noted that the cat impacted on all four feet, after which.itranaway at great speed and was never seen again. Since the cat survived well enough to run away, the experiment seemstosupport the "flying squirrel" thesis (i.e., that falling cats spread themselves out like flying squirrels, enabling them to survive falls of any distance]. I don't know if the cat landed on the paved part (runways or taxiways) or in the adjacent fields. I doubt this would have made much difference. Also I am not sure what an appropriate control for such an experiment would be. I understand that this experimenter once investigated the flight characteristics of a chicken under similar circumstances. In case you're wondering, the chicken appeared to the ground observer to exhibit some largely ineffective latent flying-type behavior before an immediately fatal impact. - Name withheld, via the Internet Back when I was a kid we used to take the cat up on the roof and toss it off. It was just \ a one-story house, so the cat didn't have far to tall. That little bugger would spread out his arms and legs and glide on down, just like a flying squirrel. He never seemed to mind it in the least. He'd let us drag him up there again and again. It seems they have a natural ability to protect themselves from falls. Now that's science! - Dave, via AOL No, that's stupidity. The flying-squirrel hypothesis is that cats after falling seven stories

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vive. Cats falling shorter distances, while they usually land on their feet, may notrelaxand some suffer serious injury. This just shows the danger of making fine distinctions when you're trying to explain something to Joe Hope. Whether the cat tossers above saw something about the flyingsquirrel hypothesis I don't know. But somehow people have got this idea that cats will survive any fall, period. So now we have the Eternal Boys of the world heaving cats off roofs and even (sheesh) out of airplanes for sport. Let us review the facts, t. Nobody says that cats will survive any fall uninjured. Of the 132 cats brought to New York's Animal Medical Center after accidental falls, two-thirds required treatment, and half of this number required lifesaving treatment. 2. The flying-squirrel hypothesis may well explain why some cats survive extremely long falls. No one has demonstrated that all cats will survive long falls. On the contrary, from I — the deaths just aren't

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jGOV-LITE RACE GETS HEAVY |

Pretty dismal pickings coming up on Vermont's Primary Election Day September 10. I The only contested statewide race of interest is | for a job with a big title and no power — lieu| tenant governor. Republicans John Carroll and II Dennis Delaney are the combatants, and comf bat is where it's at in this one. Last week Dennis the Menace had a good | week. He really got under The Great One's skin | during a face-off on Tim Philbins radio show gJ.C.s pledge not to criticize a fellow Republican 1 quickly went by the wayside as Delaney started | throwing stiff left jabs questioning The Great | One's leadership record. The civility of the two I Republican gentlemen disappeared as Delaney, J the underdog, pounced on Carroll, the stylish I pretty-boy frontrunner. Delaney won the battle 8 of one-upmanship and ambushed J.C. with a | written pledge not to raise taxes. Carroll grudgI ingly signed on the dotted line with a tip of the * hat to Delaney's "stagecraft." Got to say, Carroll did a fine job on Ch. 3's | "You Can Bore Me" Sunday when Marselis | Parsons hit him on his embarrassing little prob" lem with paying off his infamous $57,000 debt I in a timely manner. "Why didn't you pay it off | before it went to court?" asked Vermont's #1 | news mug. "I should have," replied The Great One. "It f was absolutely wrong of me not I to discharge that obligation," | said Carroll as he began chewII ing on his first big helping of political crow. "We got behind i in paying our bills, just like a lot of Vermonters do. And it's inexcusable that, number one, I we did not pay it promptly, and - number two, that somebody l h a d to take us to court about it. | It was of course very embarrassing, and I was very ashamed of my action whether or not it had i been public." "You first called it a 'badge | of honor,' as I recall," said I Parsons with a vampire-like grin as he went for Carroll's jugular. 1 Cooly and calmly, Carroll | replied, "At first I was defensive | about it. I wish I hadn't said , those words. And I came to § understand that I absolutely had | that obligation. (Yours truly was | under the impression I Republicans were born with j! that understanding. J.C.'s got a 1 little too much Democrat blood | in his ancestry). And my wife and I were able to | scrape together enough savings and refinance I our home, and we were able to pay off our J obligation 100 cents on the dollar. Obviously I we learned a lot from that experience. It was 1 very painful."

is getting stronger. 1 St. Patrick Seeks New Job? — Monday night Nebraska Sen. Bob Kerrey was at the Democratic convention podium in Chicago rattling off the litany of Democrats who would take over committee chairmanships in the U.S. Senate if Bill Clinton develops big coattails on November 6. "Do you want Orrin Hatch to be the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, or do you want Pat Leahy, who • belives in a woman's right to choose and fought for the Brady Bill? Judiciary, eh? Guess he's had his fill of watching the grass grow over on the Senate Agriculture Committee, which he chaired in the days before the Republican Revolution. Ho-Ho's Choo-Choo — The good news is, Big Apple to Burlington train service may arrive sooner rather than later. With Amtrak set to bring a second train — The Ethan Allen Express — into Rutland starting in December, Gov. Howard Dean says he's already talked with his ski-mogul buddy, Les Otten, about running the Sugarbush Express tourist train all the way down to Rutland to connect with Amtrak's Ethan Allen Express. Cool. The bad news is, state Republican Party Chairman Bill Cimonetti of South Burlington and his allies on the Metropolitan Planning Organization (MPO) are doing their level best to torpedo Ho-Ho's commuter rail project, due to take off in 1998 when the Shelburne Road construction job begins. Last week, the MPO voted 6-4 to leave Ho-Ho's Choo-Choo off 3 the official list of preferred I Chittenden County transporta- J tion projects to be voted on § next month. "They approved all the other projects in Chittenden 8 County except commuter rail," § says Rep. George Schiavone (R- J Shelburne), "because the state g hasn't done its homework." Picky, picky. | There's no truth to the story 1 the state is talking to Shaun Cliche about hiring exotic dancers as conductors. But, ® come to think of it, that just § might be the ticket to guarantee | a steady ridership. « "Barney Fag" Leaves 'Em Laughing — It's been a few 1 weeks since Rep. Barney Frank § came to town to keynote a J fundraiser for State Auditor Ed g Flanagan, but the laughter con- 8 tinues. Barney is one funny guy. According to our sources on both sides of | the aisle, he is the one dude Newt's Republicans § fear most in a floor debate. His wit is pure Gillette. Barney was a politician long before he I became a lawyer, first winning election to the § Massachusetts Legislature. And it was the daily I grind on Beacon Hill that drove him to law school. 1 "In the legislature," he said, "I had this 1 experience where I would propose something j and people would say, you can't do that!' "And I would say, 'why can't you do that?' * And I would be asked, 'well, are you a lawyer?' t "And I said, 'no.' | "And they'd say, 'well, you wouldn't under- | stand.' JJ "So I went to law school, starting in my second year in the legislature. And the scenario 1 then became: g "I wanna do this." g "You can't do this." "Why not?" I "Are you a lawyer?" "Yes." | "Well... .yeah, you really can if you want g to. Live and learn, gang. Live and learn. •

The conventional wisdom dictates Carroll should win this one. Two years ago about I 30,000 Republicans voted on primary day And | two years ago The Great One put in a respectable performance against Bernie Sanders. I One thing Delaney must overcome is the notion that Carroll deserves a second chance 1 based on that 1994 showing. After all, a second | consecutive statewide defeat would make John | Carroll a banker for life instead of a potential future governor of Vermont. But if conventional wisdom was invincible, | yours truly would be renting a house in | Saratoga every August and having a grand old I time. Delaney is a tenacious campaigner. He's got a solid political base in Chittenden County. 1 He's been heavy on the direct mail, and his pro| posal to eliminate the state sales tax over 10 | years is sweet music to folks on the east coast of J Vermont where Carroll makes his home. This 8 one's going down to the wire, and the media 1 blitz should begin any day now. Both candi| dates are preparing to hit not just the radio airwaves but television, too. The scent of an upset m * mm mm mm w® mm mm mm mm mm mm .mm mm mm mm

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Twenty-five ! years after he starred in the original J Broadway production of Hair, Allan ! Nicholls found the latest version of ; the rock musical...updated. "All I the songs, of course, ; conjured great ! memories," he | says of the J "small-town ! produc ^^mmm -• -t m jr !| non • » ti chat • * • ! played | Burlington last Allan Nicholls ! Saturday night. I "But when they were all undulating, it seemed more about sex I than about love. When I did the show, it was more hugging," | What a difference a couple of decades make. The cast was acute| ly aware of Nicholls' presence, and in one scene, actually incor! porated a copy of Seven Days. It was a nod to Nicholls -— the | subject of last weeks cover story — that turned into a brief love1 in after the performance. "They were kind of excited that some; one-who had done the show was in the audience," says the ! Colchester resident. Hair today, Tommy tomorrow, i

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If you like Preston Sturges Comedies, and Jetsons decor, you 11 love the new video store on Battery Street in Burlington — an anti-Blockbuster Savoyinspired library of videotape on the north side of the building currently occupied by Sanel Auto Parts. If owner William Folraar has his way, Waterfront Video will look more like a funky bookstore than a quick stop for the latest Hollywood hits. Art, foreign, gay, adult — "we will have everything," says Folmar, who plans to open in October. "And if people want something we don't have, we will order it for them." Anyone for The Empire Strikes Back?

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\ STEALING BEAUTY:

Burlington artist Janet Fredericks ; sold work through the Woodstock Gallery of Art, but was not ! among the plaintiffs in a recent lawsuit against Charles Fenton. j The gallery owner got so wrapped up in selling art to clients, he J consistently blew off the people who made it. "I was one of the ! few who was paid in full," Fredericks says. "But I kept after him. i I kept track. I think he paid those people he thought needed it ! the most." Luckily the rest of them had the good sense to conj suit a lawyer.

I RAG SNAG:

The fine line between advertising and editori! al is nothing compared to the brick wall between federal fund; ing and partisan publishing. The Old North End Rag got its ! hand slapped last month for almost printing a subjective con1 demnation of Susan Sweetser. Politics are off-limits when the I government pays for printing — even in letters to the editor. ! The newsletter was about to be mailed when a city hall employ| ee noticed the offending story. The assistant city attorney ! ordered all the issues recycled, and the editors — Marc Estrin, | Donna Bister, Ron Jacobs and Jim White — got the bill. The ! same hot water scalded Jennifer Matthews for using her posi! tion as director of the city-funded Burlington Women's Council j to warn women against Jack Kemp. For years, the former direc! tor, Peggy Luhrs, spoke out against everything under the sun J without censure, but "she was pretty good about saying when ! she was speaking for the council," says assistant city attorney j Jessica Oski. Matthews is holding her ground. "Everytime I ! open my mouth somebody is disappointed," she says. "But I I will not be gagged. I am still here and planning to stay."

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the Phish concert two weeks ago, tooling around in a golf cart with Phish bassist Mike Gordon. The star of Man with a Plan also hit it off with Ben and Jerry, who suggested "some sort of tie-in" with the retired dairy farmer —- a third head on the pints, perhaps? Five days at the Democratic Convention will seem like work to Tuttle after two days in Pittsburgh, and all those kisses from 17-year-old girls in halter tops. How can Bill Clinton compete? "It was the sex scandal all over again," reports filmmakerguardian John O'Brien, making reference to a memorable scene in the movie involving a bevy of wood nymphs. When it was all over, Fred told O'Brien, "this is the best time we have ever had."

"Moby Dick in Venice"

Tuesday October 22 at 7:30 pm $15 Wednesday. October 23 at 7:30 pm $15 Flynn On-Stage Series: Just 120 Seats (For Adults and children over 12)

-Debbie Weinstein, chef-owner, Media Support for the Flynn on-Stage Series is provided by

SEVEN DAYS

! SOUND AND FURY:

Phred Tuttle made quite a splash at

500B.C.-500AD. RomaEmpire: Togas foreshadowed oversized T-shirt^ %

T-SHIRT

11th - l4tti C% Crusader, for tunic when crusaders ; embellished whiteflax. with catchy "cross' graphic slay the infidel fl;.:PS$g lll'l" ' / - S:fjSiilil! a 1861-1865 U.S. Civil War: s' ' '' Cbtttftt at all-time high. 1871 Label Makers: Fruit of the Loom became the first trademarked name used on cloth. 1930s Short Sleeves: Undershirts soar into popularity. 1934 Film Strip: In It Happened One Night, Clark Gable takes offundershirt to expose a naked chest. Undershirt sales plummet.

. ( P P r a j i d c l o t h i n g j n

amcfrica

1941 Era of Government Issue: Navy introduces white "skivvy" shirts. Marine Corps follow with sage green. Army opts for olive drab. 1948 First Presidential T-shirt: Dew It With Dewey.

S i

sat

1953 New York City: $50 fine for wearing swimsuits, halters, shorts, sunsuits, playsuits or similar attire in a city park.

ake another look at your T-shirt collection. There's more woven into that fabric than meets the eye. What you probably don't see is the history of this country. Two centuries of Americans have given the sweat off their backs so you could wear your heart on your sleeve. The message and the medium are inexorably linked. Take another minute to look at the labels. You're witnessing history in progress. Tshirts more than two years old most likely say, "Made in America." More recent purchases probably read, "Assembled in (insert developing nation here)." Sadly, thanks in part to the North American Free Trade Agreement, the home-grown and home-sewn American Tshirt — once an icon for our culture — may cease to exist. From Civil War to civil disobedience, our brand of democracy is mired in the politics of cotton. It's part of our not-so-moral fiber. "From the administration of George Washington to that of Dwight D. Eisenhower, slaves, sharecroppers and wage workers were the people who produced the cotton crop," explains Pete Daniel, a curator at the National Museum of American History. "For all those years people who worked cotton were poor. As soon as the cotton gin started

1950s Tees on Film: Marlon Brandos muscles in A Streetcar Named Desire. James Dean's T-shirt with a cause. 1964 Make T-shirts Not War: The tie-dye generation colors its world. 1970s Manhattan (Heat) Transfer: Thick plastic images ofFarah Fawcett's face get plastered on pectorals. 1980s The Me-T Generation "Miami Viceputs pastel on the palette. And consumers go places, like the Hard Rock Cafe, more for . shirts than meals. Rock concert merchandising becomes more lucrative than music. Sports licensing makes fans stand out. 1990 Inflated T: One billion T-shirts were sold this year alone. 1994 Grunge T: Hoping to •

Nancy S t e a r n s Bercaw

••••PPPIPBi

T-shirts become de rigueur > r angst-ridden America. C*

death dye in the lurch. 1996Retro Active: The Bradys, The Monkees, The Flintstones and SPAM make a,<\

working, slavery spread across the south. It fueled the sectional conflict and the Civil War." Ironically, a century later, cotton T-shirts have provided the canvas for some of our finest, status-quo-changing moments. In the late '60s and early '70s, tie-dye tees were an expression of love and Haight. With Vietnam came angry anti-war sentiments and the emergence of the protest tee. By the mid-'80s, the significance of the T-shirt as a leading social, economic and political indicator was secure. Now, every event — like the Million Man March — and every throwback — like the Six Million Dollar Man — show up on our chests. Richard Martin, former director of the Museum of the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York, actually staged an exhibit charting the events of 1991, including Desert Storm and the William Kennedy Smith Trial, as documented on Tshirts. "The American T-shirt is a symbol of our egalitarian community; of our plain truthfulness; and even, in these instances, of our democratic responsibility," he explained at the opening. In an article for Smithsonian Magazine, "Hail to the T, the Shirt that Speaks Volumes," writer J.D. Reed weighed the contemporary value of T-shirts in terms of both style and substance. Continued

august

28,

1996

SEVEN DAYS

on page 23 p a g e 1 -v

nsS^SfSp T': ^ffiflgBfe' s p o n s o r e d by

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THE DATING GAME (fun & prizes), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. CHRIS FARLEY (folk), Cactus Cafe, 7 p.m. No cover. SPACE BUTTER (acoustic rock), Cafe No No, 8 p.m. Donations. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. CUDDLEBUNNY & THE LEGION OF RECONSTRUCTION (roots, rock, rabbit), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. ROCKIN' JAKE (W/ GUITARIST CHIP WILSON) (New Orleans rock/blues), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. DISCO FUNK SOUL (Hits of the '80s DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. No cover, $3 under 21. HANNIBAL & AGOSTI (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. HEARTATTACK WITH ROBERTO RENNA (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/6. THE NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. JAMIE & THE MISFORTUNES (rock), Patches, 9 p.m. No cover. KARAOKE & DJ, Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 8:30 p.m. No cover.

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PARROTHEAD PARTY, Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. ANNI PAISLEY'S SWIRL WITHOUT END (musical swirlyverse), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. PARIS GREEN (rock), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. No cover. YANKft POT ROAST, KAMIKAZE COMEDY (alt-folk, improv), Cafe No No, 7 p.m. Donations. JAZZ MANDOLIN PROJECT, Last Elm, 9 p.m. $3. MOTEL BROWN (regeae-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $4. HANNIBAL & AGOSTI (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. RAY LEWIS (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. No cover. OMINOUS SEAPODS, ZYRAH'S ORANGE (groove-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $5/7. GEORGE PETIT & THE DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Halvorson's, 9 p.m. $2. INTERNATIONAL DJS, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $2/3. OPEN MIKE NIGHT WITH MARK GALBO (acoustic), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. No cover. BL00Z0T0MY (blues), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. No cover. THE ADAMS (rock), Patches, 9 p.m. No cover. MARK BRISSON & MIKE PELKEY (unplugged), Wolf's Lair, Colchester, 7 p.m. No cover. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), Champs, ' - - - -Island, - - 9 p.m. No cover. KARAOKE & DJ, Thirsty -Turtle, Marble Waterbury, ;rbury, y:3V 9:30 p.m. No cover. ADtflENNE ADRIENNE ZOLONDICK (solo acoustic), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 10 p.m. p. No cover. OPEN MIKE, Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. No cover. ROCKIN' JAKE (New Orleans rock/blues), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. No cover.

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JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. No cover. BELIZBEHA (soul, acid jazz), Mirabelle's on the Waterfront, 6 p.m. No cover. NIGHTINGALE (traditional), Cafe No No, 8 p.m., $8. BL00Z0T0MY (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. No cover. DR. PLAID (alt-rock), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. No cover. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. THE JOHN TOWER GROUP (Southern rock, blues), Halvorson's, 10 p.m. $3. BABY'S NICKEL BAG (acid jazz), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $4. WIDE WAIL, LIFTER, WEDGE ANTILLES (alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $5. DIANE HORSTMYER, STEPH PAPPAS (solo electric), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m., $7. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. No cover. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/5. THE DOG CATCHERS (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. WALT ELMORE & ALL THAT JAZZ, Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 8:30 p.m. No cover. No cover. OPEN MIKE NIGHT, Williston Coffee House, 8 p.m. $3. METHYL ETHEL (classic rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9:30 p.m. $2. ALBERT OTIS (blues), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 10 p.m. No cover. MICHAEL OAKLAND & ERIC KOELLER (jazz), Main Street Bar & Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover. MIKE DEVERS& LAUSANNE ALLEN (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6:30 p.m. No cover. XX (r&b, soul), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $3. JETHRO MONEY (rock), Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. $2. FUNKELBERRIES (funk-rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3. DIAMOND JIM JAZZ BAND, Diamond Jim's Grille, St. Albans, 8 p.m. No cover.

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O c t o b e r 28

February 27

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$2. LAR DUGGANTRIO (jazz), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover. AYE (world beat), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 9:30 p.m. No cover. BL00Z0T0MY (blues), Mad Mountai n Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $3. BACHELORS OR ARTS (rock), Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $2. JOHN DREW PETERSEN (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6:30 p.m. No cover.

SUNDAY

FOLK BRUNCH (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 11 a.m. No cover. ACOUSTIC SUNRISE BRUNCH (open jelly), Java Love, 11 a.m. No cover. BL00Z0T0MY (blues), Breakwater Cafe, 4 p.m. OPEN MIKE W/JIM HERLIHY (acoustic), Vermont Coffeehouse, Vermont Pasta, 8:30 p.m. Donations. TREE, 12 X OVER, REASON ENOUGH (hardcore), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $5. CRANIAL PERCH (alt-noise), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. FLEX RECORDS NIGHT (DJs Justin B. & Cousin Dave), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. MICHAEL OAKLAND & ERIC KOELLER (jazz), Main Street Bar and Grill Downstairs, Montpelier, 11 a.m. No cover.

MONDAY OPEN STAGE (all genres), Cafe No No, 8 p.m. DoTTtions. BLUES FOR JAVA (open grateful/blues jelly), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. CRANIAL PERCH (alt-noise), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. LIVE MUSIC (alt-rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. CHANNEL 2 DUB BAND (reggae), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., No cover, $5 under 21. 18+DANCE NIGHT (guest DJs), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. Cover varies. WOMEN'S NIGHT (dinner/social), Last Elm, 6:30/7:30 p.m. $2/Donations. ALLEY CATS JAM (rock-blues), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. SARAH BLAIR (Irish fiddle), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 9:30 p.m. No cover.

TUESDAY

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DELTA DANCE Harmonica man Rockiri Jake comes north with a N'Awlins-style gumbo of boogie, ballads and rappin blues. Best of all, he brings back a Burlington ex-pat, Chip Wilson, on guitar and vocals. Welcome Chip to the old block, at Metronome this Friday.

"7'

SATURDAY

RUSS& CO. (rock), Breakwater Cafe, 4:30 p.m. No cover. THE FAGS, ULTRA-BIDE (punk), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $3/5. RETRO DANCE EXPLOSION (DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. SAUDADE (Latin), Manhattan Pizza, 9:30 p.m. No cover. PARKS DEPT. (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. No cover. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. No cover. FULL MOON HEART, CHRIS EARLY (acoustic), Vermont Coffeehouse at Vermont Pasta, 9:30 p.m., $5. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m., $7. LITTLE MARTIN (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $4/5; afterhours party, $3. TEXAS TWISTER (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. THE DOG CATCHERS (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. SAM ARMSTRONG (jazz), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 7:30 p.m. No cover. METHYL ETHEL (classic rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9:30 p.m.

• f

E L W j

THURSDAY

OPEN MIC KNIGHT (acoustic), Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. FLASHBACK HITS OF THE '80S (DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. No cover/$5 under 21. SCIENCE FIXlON (mondo jazz), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. No cover. SETH YACOVONE (blues), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. OPEN BLUES JAM, Last Elm, 8 p.m. Donations. PARIMA JAZZ BAND, Parima Thai Restaurant, 9 p.m. No cover. MARGE & JOHN BUTTERFIELD (folk), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6:30 p.m. No cover. All clubs in Burlington unless otherwise noted.Also look for "Sound Advice" at http://www.bigheavyworld.com/

BAND SEVEN DAYS

NAME

THE

WEEK:

Jah

august

28,

1996

MOTEL B R O W N Check out Motel Brown's CD

wjAch Available Now at Pure Pop Records in downtown Burlington UPCOMING DATES: Thursday, August 29th at Club Metronome Friday, Sept. 6th at Halvorson's Thursday, September 19th

CD RELEASE PARTY! at Club Metronome, 8 PM Join us for champagne & hors d'oeuvres.

CRANIAL

PERCH,

PLEASURE

"Check in & Let it all hang out"

YOUR GOAT

(Chemical Records, cassette) — I don't even want to know what this title means, so I'll just refer to it as Goat. The latest release from Burlington's weirdcore art-rock noiseniks is only four songs, but it's enough. Rest assured that Cranial Perch is still crazy after all these months. Recorded at Low Tech by Gus Ziesing, Goat begins with the staccato cacaphony of "Oatmeal," in which antiestablishment lyrics, sung in unison, and bleating saxophone jut out of a jumble of background noise. Basically, the band's sound, driven by bassist Dave Jarvis and drummer Jamie Schefer, is background noise, a psychedelic maelstrom from which other sounds occasionally leap out like sparks from a metal wheel. That's not to say nothing is arranged, but Cranial Perch favors Zappa-esque linear progressions that keep metamorphosing. So that you're in a different place when it's over, and can't for the life of you remember any scraps of melody to hum in the shower. "Screaming" maintains a galloping tempo, with Peter Danforth's sax and a high, thin guitar line from Jamie Williamson sharing space with a spooky male-female duet. One kvetch: Anne-Marie Costa's beautiful voice — the single civilized element in the Perch — is sorely underutilized. "Vampyre," with a tango tempo and guitar arpeggios, is the perfect accompaniment to a demented cocktail party; the heavy-mental epic "There's More Than 1," the soundtrack of a nervous breakdown. Sometimes the Perch just sounds like a flock of geese in a feeding frenzy. So grab your own perch for the show: Cranial Perch performs at rock 'n' roll headquarters, Nectars, Monday and Tuesday. Eek.

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& now MOTEL BROWN, TOO MUCH TIME (self-released CD) — It was a scorcher one night a couple of summers ago when I went to Motel Brown, the motel, for the air conditioning. But there's no escaping the heat at Motel Brown, the band — their pancultural shows are for deliriously dancing, sweating fools. Now you can turn up the temperature in the privacy of your own home with Too Much Time, the band's debut disc. Eleven original songs mix up African, Caribbean and American rock in MB's generally upfal style. It helps that

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Rout

For one thing, audience development gets pretty aggressive. "Ten people will be walking by and I'll say, 'Hey, dummy,'" Kenny explains his recruiting technique. "Three people will look. One will be upset because he is sure I was talking to him." Describing himself as an "equal opportunity insulter," he adds somewhat philosophically, "I don't pick the people who play, they pick themselves." The psychological implications therein would keep a good shrink busy for months. The financial ramifications, despite 20 other "bozos" out

ot tubs, bingo, Mr. Saugage. Everything is for sale at the Champlain Valley Fair. But only one carnie — excuse me, "showperson" — lures fairgoers to his game with the promise of humiliation. "Walk on over, don't walk by. Let's give verbal abuse a try," a sing-songy voice taunts over the loudspeaker. The unorthodox refrain comes from a sideshow known as "Drown the Clown," formerly "Soak the Bloke." The man behind the mike is so obnoxious and nasty even John Travolta was once compelled to take a shot at him on the Jersey shore. More than one, actually. You get five baseballs for two bucks. "Here's a pair, if you like fruit," the caged clown lashes out at two approaching guys. Their wallets are open by the time he launches into his next barb — a forked-tongue fashion tip. "Don't wear those muscle shirts," he advises the guy in the sleeveless shirt. "It's false advertising." Four bucks, and 10 baseball pitches later, the clown chirps, "thanks for the donation" — a final sting. Before long, you — BOZO Kenny' critiques the crowd at and everybody else on the midway — are visuthere in the same line of work, alizing this hateful bozo suskeep Kenny working fairs and pended over a vat of boiling oil other "spots" 10 months of the year. What sets the acts apart is "If I had a nickel for every management — Kenny runs his time someone flipped me the bird, I could retire," says own operation and, weather Kenny, the New Jersey native permitting, can earn as much who runs the dunk tank along per hour as a certified public with two other clowns and a accountant. front personin the southeastern And a lot of the jokes are corner of the fairgrounds. pretty good. Kenny and cohorts Relaxing behind his trailer in strive to ad lib, but also borrow dark glasses and skeleton-print heavily from negative comics like boxer shorts, he is reluctant to Don Rickles, Henny Youngman give his last name for fear and Fat Jackie Leonard. With "somebody out there" might minimal urging, he turns over a take his act personally. Turns dog-eared copy of the Garfield out there is some risk involved Book of Insults, Put Downs and in hurling insults at strangers, Slams. Most of the material especially drunk ones. And comes spontaneously. clowns train for years before "The point is not to make they make it to the microthem mad, but to goad them phone. One wrong word, into playing again," says Kenny, Kenny says in all seriousness, pointing out the player, not the can sink his act for good. clown, is the star of his show. "If they are lucky enough to hit Sit-down slander is not like the target and knock me in the stand-up comedy — hard to water, it's an adrenaline rush. imagine Rodney Dangerfield making jokes in a clammy wetThe crowd is not cheering for suit for four hours at a stretch. me, they are cheering for the

THE. OF INSULT

august

28,

1996

guy playing the game.' Picking the right barb separates the blokes from the bozos. Weight is the most obvious. "How do you hug that guy?" the clown shot at me and my husband. "One side and then other?" Hair, ears, noses and clothes are also easy, targets. "Was that a toss, or a low-flying U.F.O?" works well with women. "It's a 'tetesterone' thing," Kenny explains, mispronouncing the male hormone that underwrites his operation. '^When it comes right down to it, it is the challenge of hitting a target with a ball."

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•Swim Classes Programs for infants to Adult Swim teams ages 5-Masters The Champlain Valley Fair. Whether this ball game is long for the park, however, is another question — "Drown the Clown" is about as politically correct as wearing fur or eating veal. Kenny has learned the word "inappropriate," and uses it a lot, offering specific examples of jokes that do not pass the prime-time censors. Walking that line at the Champlain Valley Fair takes more coordination than it used to. And Kenny and company have competition this year on the other side of the midway, from another clown who barks at the passing crowd instead of luring them in with clever come-orxs. Will negative humor go the way of the Fellini-esque freakshow, which is strangely absent from the fair this year? Hopefully not. "We are just like you — exercising our First Amendment rights," Kenny says. "The way to do it is to go up to the line, lean over and say nah nah nah nah nah." •

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FROM GUYS i Phish follo wers find spirituality Bv Hilton H. Pier I I I

week and a half ago I

found myself squashed up against a steel railing breathing secondhand air, trying not to step on the people packed around me, and wondering why. I was, of course, in the center of 70,000 other people who went to see Phish at their Clifford Ball at Plattsbugh Air Force Base. I was next to the sound techie's tower, hoping to meet up with my friend and benefactor, a woman who possessed the magic "I am a demigod" pass that would get me up on the sound platform and out of the crowd. Just as the first set started, a young, blond-dreadlocked kid to my left whipped out a small black notebook and noted. He did the same at the beginning of the second song, and each tune thereafter until I fled stage- left for pure air and space. He was making a life list of Phish songs, in the style of the classic Deadhead. Let me pause for a moment and do some serious namedropping. 14new them when — them being Trey, Jon, Mike and Page. I'm not talking best buddies, but the bands I was in played some of the same places, sometimes on the same night. I suppose that my claim to Phish phame was connecting Trey with his music theory teacher, the formidably talented Vermont composer Ernest Stires. Okay, end of name-dropping. In those days, like any new and unusual band, they had small crowds. I ran into my old friend Eugene at the Ball, and he reminisced about a Phish gig at our dorm that he went to out of sympathy because only eight people had showed up. I mention this piece of history for perspective. Phish was, and is, a group of talented musicians driven by a musical vision. They were, and are, good people; low ego, high humor. Now, however, the crowds have multiplied by a factor of 10,000, there are multiple Phish websites, people wear "Trey is God" T-shirts and follow the tours. There are Dead-style concert tapers, bootleg distribution trees, and statistical analyses of Phish set lists. Trey can no longer walk around a concert site, I've heard, for fear of being mobbed. Four musicians from Burlington have made the transition from guys to gods. This leaves me wondering

SEVEN DAYS

in star worship

one of them was originally an ordinary person who pulled on his tunic one sleeve at a time. Similarly, many nonEuropean religions have a variety of gods, big and small. It seems to be a common ' human need to have a personalized deity, a metaphysical being who digs what you do. So what's a modern young non-religious type to do? Find your own gods, of course, gods who look like you. Find laid-back musical gods, with an ironic sense of humor and some trance-enhancing jams. When they tour, you can go on pilgrimage, just like the devout of the Middle Ages. At the concert you can have a mass ecstatic experience, exchange arcane knowledge, buy talismans and congregate with the other faithful to worship. Fame is immortality, and immortality is godhood. There, you've done it. Your gods, your personal gods, appear right there on stage and speak to you. Distant, yet accessible. Mysterious, yet knowable. * Thinking back to that , Saturday, af* one point drummer Jon Fishman stood on his chair and raised his arms up and out in the position art historians call "orant." The wall paintings in Fame is immortality, the secret catacombs of the early Christians show figures in and immortality is this position, indicating the speaking of a prayer. I suppose if you have to godhood. There, deify a band, Phish is a good choice. They obviously care youve done it. Your about their fans. The careful and expensive logistics of the gods, your personal Clifford Ball show this. They tour, they jam, they have imagination, and they are decent gods, appear right guys. But I worry. What does it do to the psythere on stage and che of an individual, or a society, to elevate certain human speak to you. beings to such a status? Why do we need heroes? Why can't we be our own? each with their own specialties, And what about the gods plus any number of demigods, themselves? Fame is a jail, and equally varied. They were all cult fame is maximum security. reputed to walk the earth at Andy Warhol's prediction about times, generally in disguise. No everyone having 15 minutes of matter what you did for a livfame has a certain resonance: ing, there was a god for you. Maybe 15 minutes is as long as Demeter took care of farmers, anyone has actually enjoyed it. Hermes took care of thieves, After that it ranges from aggraHephaestos listened to the vating to life-threatening. prayers of blacksmiths. Do me a favor, Phish fans: Leave the boys alone. Make the Later, the Roman Catholic unlisted numbers unnecessary. Church accumulated saints in a Let Trey walk in peace. Just enjoy similar fashion. Saint Barbara the music. Ditch the life lists and was the patron saint of miners worship yourselves. After all, and artillerymen. Saint Eloi they're just these guys. • covered the goldsmiths. Each

why. I don't wonder about Phish itself; the musical success formula is standard — talent or style or both, plus bulldog persistence, plus incredible luck. What I wonder about is this: What need was out there that they answered? What psychospiritual slot do they fill for so many fanatically dedicated fans? Okay, so the Grateful Dead are defunct: But what slot did they fill? I think that we are simply short on gods these days. A few thousand years ago in Greece, people had 12 big gods,

a u g u s t

2 8 ,

1 9 9 6

Folk or mcky the visiting buskers from Yaroslavl are• subversively funny By Pamela

Polston

stand, immediately, that these guys are good. In their much larger hometown of about 700,000 — where a Ben & Jerry's shop

t seems a long time ago when the very thought of Russians on our streets would strike fear — or some other Pavlovian response — in the hearts of every red-blooded American; when it was better, we were told, to be dead than "red." For the last three months, a couple of guys from Yaroslavl have proved it is better, after all, to just sing. Who knew they'd change from charming folkies to equally-charming punks? It's a coincidence that Sergei Razoumov, 32, and Sasha Kazatchkov, 29, are from Burlington's Sister City — their presence has done more for international relations than a host of visiting dignitaries. From the rare passerby who actually understands their words to the small tots who dance around like junior Phishheads and don't care, anyone who's been on the Marketplace this summer has paused to listen, and to under-

prestigious Berklee School of Music. Razoumov, the guitarist, studied clarinet and played in a theatrical orchestra, while the impassive Kazatchkov, who

WITH LAUGHS

and both are multi-instrumentalists — Kazatchkov has a huge cache of instruments at home, including a stand-up bass with a full bar hidden inside. After school, Razoumov S and Kazatchkov ^ taught music to children before ^ taking to the ^ streets,— as

buskers — nearly ^ two years ago. | A lot of folk z songs and a couple of continents later, the pair made their way to the U.S. First stop was New York, which they deemed too much like Moscow — violent. When THREE S COMPANY Eugene Nikolaev, Sergei Razoumov and Sasha Kazatchkov ponthey arrived in der their next move. Burlington last May, Razoumov's hires, not scoops, white looks like he was born playing old friend Sergei Ushakov — Russians — Razoumov and his accordion, focused on classi- the ex-patriate sound man at Kazatchkov were trained at cal violin and cello. Both also Club Metronome — put out their country's equivalent to the performed in a jazz-rock band, the welcome mat, and the

handsome duo soon began attracting crowds on Church Street. There was just one small problem: English. Razoumovs is lukewarm; Kazatchkov's, not even. Ente| Eugene Nikolaev. The Ukrainian-born vocalist and guitarist for Burlington's quintessential punk-rawk band The Fags found more than just someone to speak Russian with. Nikolaev booked a couple of gigs with his two new friends, and the trio performed mostly traditional folk songs — with a twist. With characteristic inyour-face irreverence, Nikolaev named the trio Flying Fuck. "The name is something catchy," he says simply. "It's not a huge serious thing." If his bandmates understand the power of the f-word on these shores, they seem unperturbed about it. But Nikolaev's fullfrontal performance style momentarily stunned them. "I am amazed with their [musical] knowledge and mastery," he says, "and they're Continued on page 14

FEBRUARY 4 New York Citv Opera National Company in Puccini's La Boheme

OCTOBER 16 National Chamber Orchestra of Toulouse with Michel Debost, flute OCTOBER IS "A Night at the Opera "with the VSO

B a c k -ho

OCTOBER 23 Joseph Payne, organist

School!

Obedience C l a s s e s f o r D o g s

& f-heir

OCTOBER 26 The Roches with Anne Hills & Michael Smith

Humans

fo: 8 6 3 - 3 0 6 7

(C^Dogg

OCTOBER 31 Tunes & Tales from the Crypt, with Michael Arnowitt & Joe Citro NOVEMBER S Leontovych String Quartet with Robert Guralnick, piano NOVEMBER 24 Bach Wind Philharmonia

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SEVEN DAYS

FEBRUARY 9 Holocaust Remembrance Concert FEBRUARY 14 Stefan Scaggiari Trio, jazz FEBRUARY 28 Pedja Muzijevic. piano MARCH 12 Trio Sonnerie with Wilbert Hazelzet, flute MARCH 14 Street Sounds. a capella MARCH 17 Cherish the Ladies with Joe Derrane MARCH 26 Neiweem & * Aebersold, four-hand piano APRIL 4 Frederic Chiu, piano APRIL 11 La Luna, early music APRIL 16 Anacapa String Quarter APRIL 27 Acting Company "As You Like It"

UNiVER?rTY OF-VERMONT

Continued from pagt _ „ freaked out by how I break r attac titiom, _ wth th >r ty, In „ „_ . with abandon and £ ' cords. Just rip into a song ' >reak into

:ool between h iposed and polisl s, the :

Thursday, August 29th, 8-10:30

VERMONT As soon, a up their new album, he reports, Flying Fuck will enter the studio to record, with Pants guitarist "Pistol Stamen" at the controls. The music ...rill Ua /-/imkimftAn nf

CRUISE

and traditional Ukrainian and Russian songs, r . And just what are those songs about? "A lot of die folk songs are based on stories about crossing the border [where Russian guards notoriously earned vacation time by shooting a quota of would-be " says Nikolaev. here's verse after verse

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times I tried to escape. And there's a lot of love and death themes." Subversion and a hilarious sense of the absurd go back a long way, in cinema and theater as well as music, Nikolaev explains. All three former Soviet citizens scoff at the - \ notion of folk mu$k here — our history's too short. Yaroslavl, by contrast, is 1000 years old. They believe that blues is the real An roots music, full of the requisite pain and suffering at the hands of oppressors** But * - j we're not politicians," he stresses. "Were musicians." You won't see Razoumov and Kazatchkov on the streets for a little while — the for-

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Yaroslavl, but he'll be back. Though they're seeing pretty much the same faces day after day in the relatively tiny Burlington, the two profess to like die friendly atmosphere here. They also like, Nikolaev translates with a grin, the

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august

28,

1996

t's a sunny Saturday afternoon in Burlington and I notice a small crowd growing outside the mall. Being a recent college graduate I am cynical but ^^^^^^^^ After all, it ft^^ft^ 1996 and, by the grace of god or other less jC celestial deities, \ I have success)] « fully become ) / the blank slate I ^W was ordained to ; \V / be. So I toss | aside my butt and listen, with ^ H ^ ^ ^ H everyone else, ^H ^HB^ to the pompous ^H official address^H ing the crowd. ^ H IP' » ^

afternoon, ^*wnfllll ladies and gentlemen! Thanks to the efforts of our own stalwart brand insistencies and other slightly less delusional expenditures, the good people at Philip Morris and the town of Burlington, Vermont are proud to welcome the coolest of water-retentive mammals, whose assets include an

exceptional leather jack- I I et, a saxophonal encyclopedia reminiscent of Charlie Parker, and, perhaps most endearingly, the acumen to allow seemingly endless table

zv raises

I A f ho would have predicted U U four years ago that 1 W tobacco would be the fulcrum of the family values tug-of-war in this election season? As candidate Bob Dole tries to avert attention from his purst i estring relationship • ' with tobacco companies, President Clinton comes down hard on cigarette advertising that targets kids — like the cartoonish appeal of "Joe Camel," for instance, that provoked the accompanying scenario by writer Andrew Jacoby.

time at any bar anywhere —'Jo Camel!" "Thank you very much for the kind introduction," Joe responds. "I would like to start out by addressing the younger folks we have assembled here. First of all, I just want to remind you that even though I,

However politically calculated Clintons move might be,

Ready to move that body instead of furniture?

WELCDME BACK!

We're close - walking distance to campus! STUDENT RATES! Free Weights • Machines • Cardio Machine • Aerobics • Hip-Hop • Ninjitsu • Personal Training • Yoga 'Heavy Bag • P H A T T U N E S! clothes for women

6 3 CHURCH STRE SEVEN DAYS

calendar

s p o n s o r e d by

©Wednesday dance

Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

etc C H A M P L A I N VALLEY FAIR: The

FREE SPIRIT D A N C E : T h e weekly barefoot boogie convenes at Earth Dance Healing Arts Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7:30-9 p.m. $5. Info, 482-2827. C O N T A C T I M P R O V : Make contact with other fearless movers at Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7:15 p.m. $1. Info, 860-3674.

state's largest fair offers circus, agricultural, commercial, artistic and technological entertainment. Today features a $7 rodeo at 7:30 p.m. Champlain Valley Fairgrounds, Essex Junction, 10 a.m. midnight. $7. Info, 878-5545. ARTIST PANEL: Musicians and an architect discuss the process of making art. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 7 p.m.

LYRIC T H E A T R E M E E T I N G : Actors and others interested in the November production of Bye Bye Birdie meet at the Eagles Club, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3585. ' S P A G H E T T I M U R D E R MYSTERY': Explorer-detective Jeffrey Spaulding stars in a carbonara caper cooked up by playwright Jim Hogue. Check out the dinner theater at Villa Tragara Restaurant, Waterbury Center, 6 p.m. $35. Reservations, 244-5288. ' D E A T H & T H E M A I D E N ' : The music of Schubert plays a part in this moral thriller the Times of London said "combines brilliant theatricality with clear thought and fierce compassion." Unadilla Theater, East Calais, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 456-8968.

film W O R L D FILM FESTIVAL: This ten-day festival of world cinema features fresh flicks from around the globe. Five Montreal theaters. $7 per screening. Info, 514-848-3883.

words DAVID H U D D L E R E A D I N G : T h e

C I T Y HALL SERIES: Shop for art and arugula at a farmers market with music. Glenn Taulton and Steven Kemp offer Afro-Latin drumming at Burlington City Hall Park, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0123. BASEBALL GAME: The Vermont Expos take on Auburn. Centennial Field, Burlington, 7 p.m. $3-5. Info, 655-4200. M Y T H , A R C H I T E C T U R E & ART:

BIRDIE IN THE HAND: The best way to get a part in Bye Bye Birdie? Know the show. And if Elvis impersonation is not for you, consider a role that does not require pelvic action. The director is looking for actors who can "let their hair down, shake their bootie and rock 'n roll." Wednesday, August 28. Eagles Club, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3585.

Library, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-3403.

k i d s STORY H O U R : Finger plays and cut-and-fold stories are geared toward the ages of attending children. This weekly event is held at the S. Burlington Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-9010. STORIES: Kids listen while they eat snacks and make crafts at the Children's

BREWS CRUISE: Ale aboard. Catamount, Otter Creek and Long Trail will be behind the bar at the third annual Micro-Brewers Cruise. Foam fans will love the frothy parallels, and rockabilly from Buck and the Black Cats. Hopefully the only thing pouring

mNo.vWinooski a five. l oD Pearl v eSt. equal

exchange

coffees and more!

6:30 & 8:30

It's time to SPREAD FRED again!

music AMERICA: The guys behind "Ventura Highway," "Sister Golden Hair" and "Horse With N o Name" bring their distinctive chords to the the Champlain Valley Fairground, Essex Junction, 7:30

will be beer. Leaving from King Street Ferry Dock, Burlington Waterfront, 811 p.m. $20. Info, 864-9804.

S O RAGIN' CAJUN: Looking for a "Big Easy" way to get to Louisiana? The three-day Cajun and Bluegrass Festival spices things up on the coast of Rhode Island — without the heat. More than a dozen national acts share the spodightSvith Creole cuisine and a Mardi Gras parade. Stepping Stone Ranch, Escoheag, Rhode Island, all day. $25 per day. Info, 1-800-738-9808.

31 CHILD LABOR: Long before allowances, there were chores.

tilm

and the Black Cats play while you sample the suds. King Street Ferry Dock, Burlington, 8 p.m. $20. Info, 863-5966. ROYAL LIPIZZAN STALLIONS: The world-famous white horses strut their stuff. North Hero, 6 p.m. $15. Info, 372-5683.

friday music

B R O O K S & D U N N : David Lee

Wool to card. Wheat to flail. Cows to milk. A hundred years ago, Vermont kids spent their Free time chopping, not shopping. Modern-day munchkins get a taste of life before television — and ice cream before Ben and Jerry — at Children's Day. ' 1 Billings Farm and Museum, Woodstock, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. $6.50. Info, 457-2355.

Murphy opens for one of the hottest duos in country music. Champlain Valley Fairground, Essex Junction, 7:30 p.m. $21-28 includes fair admission. Info, 863-5966. CAJUN & BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: Three days of Cajun-flavored food, music and dance features over a dozen acts, including D.L. Menard and the Louisiana Aces. Stepping Stone Ranch, Escoheag, R.I., 6 p.m. $15 for tonight. Info, 401-351-6312.

d a n c e B E N E F I T D A N C E : PegTassey and the Velvet O v u m Band raise funds for a local community center. Plainfield Town Hall,

GEO GRAPHIC: A calciferous outcrop that boasts some of the best views in Burlington, Rock Point has yet another thing going for it — flora. Wear long pants and water-resistant shoes on a wetland walk for witch hazel, maiden hair ferns and random mushrooms. Parking Lot, Rock Point School, 9 a.m. $4. Info, 864-3621.

^ H A T T

7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 454-8579.

heater

'ARMS A N D T H E MAN': See August 29. ' P L U M CRAZY': Acclaimed Boston actress Paula Plum offers contrasting character plays. Unadilla Theatre, East Calais, 8 p.m. $12.50. Info, 456-8968.

f i l m W O R L D FILM FESTIVAL: See August 28.

kids 'GEOLOGY OF T H E CHAMPLAIN BASIN': Field naturalist Alicia Daniel talks about local rocks at Lake

C H U R C H & MAIN

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Thursday, August 29

Friday, August 30

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info: 8 6 3 - 3 0 6 7

Brad French's Guitar Concepts Instruction •All ages, performance levels & musical tastes •Solo & chord techniques •Berklee graduate

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E RICHMOND, V T

Josr 2 0 MiNorES from Burlington

llr *

directs Shaw's clever debunking of the glory of war. Weston Playhouse, 8 p.m. $20. Info, 824-5288.

I PIZZA & PUB

PLAN

M I C R O - B R E W E R S CRUISE: Buck

East Calais, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 456-8968. 'ARMS A N D T H E MAN': Steve Stettler

— P.R.

KICK-OFF MEETING AUDITIONS Wednesday ,JUni>I, Wednesday-Saturday August 28 JjjHIi^L September 4-7 7:00pm / ^ W l i B W i a S X Williston Central Eagles Club School F o r m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n call: 434-4116 o r 658-6182

MAN WITH A

THE SAVOY THEATER

under the tent. Inn at Essex, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 878-1100.

August 28. BASEBALL GAME: See August 28.

Be a part of Lyric Theatre's Fall Production!

VERMONT IS FOR LOVERS

26 M a i n St. M o n t p e l i e r 229-0509

theater ' T H E STAR-SPANGLED GIRL': A left-wing writer falls for the archetypal girl next door in this romantic comedy by Neil Simon. Northern Stage performs

W O R L D FILM FESTIVAL: See August 28.

FROM THE MAKER OF

A FILM BY JOHN O'BRIEN

C H A M P L A I N VALLEY FAIR: See

INFO MEETING & AUDITIONS

all organic

FRI. 8 / 3 0 - THURS. 9 / 5

863-5966.

What's the story, morning glory? 'What's the word, hummingbird?

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wedS/2fi> c u d c f l e b u m y 3pm thursS/29 a n n i s w i r l e d 3cm flam sun 9/1 acoustic sunrise 3pm men 9/2 blues for java t u e s 9 / 3 open mic knight 3pm fn9/0 thefiddteheeds9pm wed9/ia geaya's odyssey 3pm

©thursday

etc

p.m. Free with fair admission. Info,

' T H E F O R E I G N E R ' : The farcical play by Larry Shue addresses self-importance, cruelty and prejudice. Unadilla Theater,

James Hubbell, sculptor, poet, painter, builder and stained glass artist, speaks

Vermont poet reads at the Fletcher

6pm tuesday the burlytown beanery presents open mic knigtrt acoustic!

Local peas and zucchinis are available, along with dinner items such as pizza, pasta and turnovers. Rusty Parker Park, Waterbury, 3-6 p.m. Free. Info, 434-2690.

$5. Info, 253-8358.

t h e a t e r

about his international work. Warren Town Hall, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 496-5545. WATERBURY FARMERS MARKET:

53 N. Harbor Road Colchester, VT 802.893.7500

658-6776

31ST

t"l i Mi I I r i rni b f f i SEVEN DAYS

a u g u s t

-2 8 v 1 9 9 6

Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington Waterfront, 1-3 p.m. $2. Info, 864-1848.

e t c CHAMPLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See August 28. Today kids get in today for $1. BASEBALL GAME: See August 28, against New Jersey. ROYAL LIPIZZAN STALLIONS: See August 29. Fridays are two-for-one admission days. AMESTOY SPEECH: Vermont attorney genera] Jeffrey Amestoy addresses students graduating from Woodbury College. Pavilion Building Auditorium, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0516. AEROBIC DAY: Enjoy one aqua aerobic class or use of the indoor lap pool at Twin Oaks Sports and Fitness, S. Burlington, all day. Free. Info, 658-0002. R I C H M O N D FARMERS MARKET: Look for local produce, sweets, jewelry and potted plants. Volunteers Green, Richmond, 3-6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 434-2690. O U T R I G H T SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual and questioning youth are invited to an ongoing support group meeting. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9677.

$Saturday m u s i c CAJUN & BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: See August 30, 11 a.m. - midnight, $25. ROCK 'N* ROLL SHOW: Four legendary groups — The Platters, The Five Satins, The Dovells and The Marvellettes — perform non-stop hits from the '50s and '60s. Champlain Valley Fairground, Essex Junction, 7:30 p.m. Free with fair admission. Info, 863-5966.

d a n c e C O N T R A DANCE: Red Townsend calls for the Pizza Pi Band. Montpelier City Grange, Route 12, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 426-3734.

t h e a t e r ARMS A N D T H E MAN': See August 29, 3 p.m. $18; 8 p.m., $23. 'PLUM CRAZY': See August 30.

i l m

WORLD FILM FESTIVAL: See August 28.

a r t CLAY D E M O N S T R A T I O N : Frog Hollow potters take the wheel. Vermont State Craft Center at Frog Hollow,

Middlebury, 1-3 p.m. Free. Info, 388-3177-

k i d s STORY T I M E : Kids listen up at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

e t c CHAMPLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See August 28. BASEBALL GAME: See August 28, 2 p.m. Against New Jersey. ROYAL LIPIZZAN STALLIONS: See August 29, 2:30 p.m. NATURAL HISTORY WALK: A wet walk in the woods turns up ferns, edible and medicinal plants. Rock Point, Burlington, 9-11 a.m. $4. Register, 864-3621. MAD RIVER VALLEY CRAFT FAIR: The Valley Players benefit from your food and pottery purchases. Kenyon's Field, Waitsfield, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $2. Info, 800-828-4748. RUN & WALK: This five-kilometer race sponsored by the Cambridge Greenway Committee raises funds for a bike path and the United Way. Cambridge Elementary School, Jeffersonville, 10:30 a.m. $12. Info, 644-8282. O L D T I M E C H I L D R E N ' S DAY: Children played an important role on Vermont farms of a century ago. Learn to flail wheat, peel apples and make oldfashioned ice cream at the Billings Farm & Museum, Woodstock, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. $6.50. Kids under 12 get in free with an adult. Info, 457-2355. FARMERS MARKETS: Vermont-grown agricultural products and crafts are for sale in the following locations: Burlington City Hall Park, 8:30 a.m. 2:30 p.m. Info, 453-2435. Taft Corners in Williston, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Info, 879-0464. Courthouse parking lot in Montpelier, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 229-1935. Mad River Green in Waitsfield, 9:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. Info, 496-5856. Marbleworks in Middlebury, 9 a.m. - noon. Info, 897-5971. On the green by McMahon Chevrolet, Morrisville, 8:30 a.m. - 1 p.m. Info, 888-5558. Taylor Park in St. Albans, 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Info, 868-2029.

Sunday m u s i c

blends folk, gospel, country and bluegrass influences. Joslyn Round Barn, Waitsfield, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 496-3409. N E W W O R L D FESTIVAL: Celebrate Vermont's Celtic and French Canadian roots with traditional music and dance on five stages. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, noon - 11 p.m. $12. Info, 728-9133.

t h e a t e r ' T H E FOREIGNER': See August 29. 'ARMS A N D T H E MAN': See August 29, 7 p.m. $18.

f i l m WORLD FILM FESTIVAL: See August 28.

e t c CHAMPLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See August 28. A demolition derby starts at 7:30 p.m. and costs $6. ROYAL LIPIZZAN STALLIONS: See August 29, 2:30 p.m. MAD RIVER VALLEY CRAFT FAIR: See August 31. STOWE FARMERS MARKET: Get it while it's fresh, next to the Red Barn Shops in Stowe, 11 a.m. -3 p.m. Free. Info, 253-4498.

monday t h e a t e r

'DEATH & T H E MAIDEN': See August 28.

t i

I m

WORLD FILM FESTIVAL: See August 28.

e t c CHAMPLAIN VALLEY FAIR: See August 28. The last day of the fair offers a tractor and truck pull at 1 p.m. for $11. LABOR DAY PARADE: See over an hour's worth of clowns, bands, Shriners, antique cars and horses. This year's theme is time machines. Downtown Northfield, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 485-8346. MOUNTAIN BIKE RACES: Men, women, teens and kids pedal for applause in weekly races for serious and social bikers. Catamount Family Center, Williston, 6 p.m. $8 per race. Info, 879-6001. . BUSINESS BREAKFAST: Entrepreneurs share ideas over coffee. Cafe No No, Burlington, 7:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-1208.

CAJUN & BLUEGRASS FESTIVAL: See August 30, 11 a.m. - midnight, $25. N E W BREMEN T O W N MUSICIANS: The family musical ensemble

Continued on next page

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' T H E FOREIGNER': See August 29. 'ARMS A N D T H E MAN': See August 29, 8 p.m. $18. 'CADENZA': Gail Schwartz performs two plays: the First, by Rob Handel, a look inside the mind of a violin prodigy. The second is an actor-made work-inprogress. Montpelier City Hall, 7 p.m. $2.50. Info, 229-0492.

kids 'FATHERS & C H I L D R E N T O G E T H E R ' : Spend quality time with your kids and other dads at the Wheeler School, Burlington, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4420. STORY H O U R : Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

etc OLD N O R T H E N D FARMERS MARKET: Fresh organic vegetables can be had for food stamps, cash or farm-to-family coupons at the corner of Elmwood and Archibald streets, Burlington, 3:30-6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-6248.

©Wednesday music

J O H N N Y CASH: Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers back "the man in black" — the only Hall of Famer inducted for songwriting, country music and rock 'n' roll. June Carter joins Johnny at the Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7^:30 p.m. $29.50-38.50. Info, 863-5966.

theater 'DEATH & T H E MAIDEN': See August 28. 'ARMS A N D T H E MAN': See August 29, 3 p.m. $20. LYRIC THEATRE W O R K S H O P : Interested in auditioning for Bye Bye Birdie^ Get prepped at a Lyric Theatre workshop. Williston Central School, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3585.

crds

POETRIA OBSCURA: Angela Patten and William R. Butler read their respective verse at the Fletcher Free Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 863-3403.

kids STORY H O U R : Finger plays and cut-and-fold stories are geared toward the ages of attending children. This weekly event is held at the S. Burlington Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-9010. STORIES: Kids listen while they eat snacks and make crafts at the Children's

Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.

etc BASEBALL GAME: See August 28. This match with Pittsfield is the last regular season game. GERMAN CLUB MEETING: Deutsche speakers meet for refreshments and plaunderabend. German Club, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3100. LAKE HEARINGS: The final draft of the Lake Champlain management plan is available for public comment. Burlington City Hall, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-468-5227.

Calendar is written by Clove Tsind 1 e. Submissions for calendar, clubs and art listings are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. S E V E N D A Y S edits for space and style. Send to: S E V E N D A Y S , P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, V I 05402-1164. Or fax 802-865-1015. e mail: sevenday@together.net

classes college ASSESSMENT O F PRIOR LEARNING: Wednesday, August 28, 5:30-7 p.m. Vermont Interactive Television Studio, NYNEX Building, S. Burlington. Free. Info, 865-4422. An intro session to a 10-week course can help you earn college credit for life experiences. FINANCIAL AID: Wednesday, August 28, 2 p.m., or Thursday, August 29, 5:30 p.m. Community College of Vermont, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-4422. How will you pay for higher education:? Prospective students get financial aid advice from the pros.

computers QUICKEN FOR SMALL BUSINESSES: Two Mondays & two Thursdays, September 9-19, early evenings. Community Technology Center, Burlington. $119. Register, 860-4057. Proprietors of small business learn how to handle their finances electronically. I N T R O T O COMPUTERS: Wednesday, August 28 and September 4, 6-8 p.m. Department of Employment & Training, Burlington. Free to unemployed people and residents of the Enterprise Community. Register, 860-4057. Get up to speed with computer technology.

intimacy

storytelling and "melting pot" food at a Sunday

LIST yOUR CLASS: 20 word descriptive for one week or $15 publication. Free

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Sea Kayaks, White Water Kayaks, Touring Boats & Canoes from Dagger, Mad River, River Runner, Prijon& Walden Paddlers starting at $300

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B u c k and t h e B l a c k Gats -page 2*0

CLEARWATER SPORTS

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Sunday for Cinephiles Series Every Sunday in September •Sept. 1st - Samuel Fuller's THE N A K E D KISS Film-noir of the 60's

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•Sept. 8th - Lionel Rogosin's O N THE BOWERY Documentary classic of NY's skid row. Co-feature: Bartosch'sTHE IDEA •Sept. 15th - W O M E N " S EXPERIMENTAL A N I M A T I O N FILM FESTIVAL a span in 50 years of creative technique •Sept. 22nd - A N A I S N I N OBSERVED Robert Snyder's revealing documentary on this controversial artist. •Sept. 29th - Luis Bunuel's academy award winner THE DISCRETE CHARM OF THE BOURGEOISIE

All films start at 7PM

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yoga YOGA: Daily, Burlington Yoga Studio, 174 Main St. Info, 658-YOGA. Classes are offered in Astanga, Iyengar, Kripalu, Bikram and Kundalini styles. Beginners can start anytime.

Follow the fjormat, including a \o to sentence. Mail or walk it in, with $5 fior a month, by the Thursday before classes are listed without charse.

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Saturday, August 81

WRITERS W O R K S H O P : Tuesdays, 7:30 p.m. Cafe No No, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-5066. Bring a journal and your writing spirit.

USED WHITE WATER & SEA KAYAK SALE

Peace & Justice Store

Abair Brothers

POETRY W R I T I N G : Ten Wednesdays starting September 11, 7-9 p.m. Fletcher Library, Burlington. Free. Register, 863-3403. All levels are welcome at a class taught by poet Cill Janeway.

Wednesday, August 28, 7-8:30 p.m.

and Irish- American

Fri, A u g u s t 3 0

writing

'CREATING INTIMACY':

celebration ofFranco-

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tai chi TAI CHI: Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. & 8-9 p.m. Food For Thought, Stowe, $10. Info, 253-4733. fohn DiCarlo leads ongoing classes.

P R O D U C T I O N SKILLS: Weekdays, 5-6:30 p.m. Channel 17, Burlington. Free. Register, 862-3966. Learn about video by being part of the live show crew.

in-line skating

Look for music,

meditation MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambala Center. Free. Info, 658-6795. Non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist

video

SKATING CLINIC: Tuesdays & Thursdays, 6 & 7:15 p.m. Fort Ethan Allen Fitness, Colchester. $10. Info, 658-3313 ext. 253. All levels learn from the best in the business. Gear is provided.

ROOTS W RHYTHM:

Soul Works, 187 St. Paul St., Burlington. Free. Info, 864-6616. Learn the art of intimate fighting, expressing deep emotions and creative problem solving.

865-5066

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Like it or not, Burlington plays host to some of the biggest names in the skateboarding world chis Thursday. At an event tagged "Pros Skate Gnarly" by its sponsor, The B-Side, sponsored professional skateboarders Paul Zuanich, Dan Drehobl, Jesse Fernandez and Joel Price will board like mos/of us taave ain't smart, but boy, can they skate!" exclaim the promotional flyers. B-Siders hope the second annual skatefest will not only show a favorable side of skateboarding, but also give a boost to the long-awaited skate park. "We want people to see that its a positive thing, a good outlet," says B-Side employee Jay Rehbein. "1 think there will be a pretty big turnout, because its on'Lower Church Street, I think a lot of people who don't really see a lot of skateboarding will come and watch it." The location — the street in front of City Hall — was not B-Sides first choice. "We

no one was will-

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erchants grumble about them. Property owners despise them. Parents of small children fear them. And cops bust them. Skateboarding has been a popular recreation among Burlington youth for years, but adult opinion ranks them just below Wal-Mart on the desirability scale. If some boarders zoom along with a callous disregard for public safety, is that any reason to anathematize them all? Burlington seems to think so. The B Side, the city's most popular resource and hangout for the boarding crowd, is hosting a skateboarding demo (see sidebar) in the hopes of regaining some public support — if it's not too late. "We've reached the point now where there is a very clear division," says Officer R. H. Booher, the mustachioed man who patrols downtown Burlington. "There are certain people in society who just downright hate skateboarders, period." For their part, boarders insist the city's ordinance against their sport is discriminatory and overzealously enforced. Most active boarders have racked up at least two or three fines. How did this antipathy come about? Booher cites an "fyou type attitude" amongst some youth. "When people say something to these skateboarders, like, 'Hey, the sidewalk's

ours,' they immediately respond with nasty, rude, vulgar language." This, coupled with the distinctive black scars left on curbs, stairs and flower boxes, irritates patrons and merchants alike. As a result, skateboarding has been officially banned in Burlington's downtown, the area circumscribed by Main, Pearl, St. Paul and South Winooski Streets. Furthermore, most local property owners do not tolerate skateboarders on their curbs or parking lots. Boarders are expected to stay in the street downtown, and to follow the flow and rules of traffic. But the nature of the sport, characterized by jumps and other high-velocity stunts, makes this unfeasible for most boarders. After all, you'll never see other vehicles pull an ollie. Furthermore, many feel there's a double standard for skateboards and other modes of transportation. One angry boarder, who prefers to remain anonymous, points out that the no-skateboarding ordinance, which imposes a $50 fine with no warnings required, doesn't apply to inline skaters or bikers. "They harass us," he says. "It's like, whenever they hear skateboards or see someone boarding, they know they can give us a hard time, because they know everyone hates us." Three minutes after he was interviewed, this boarder was given a warning by a cop for boarding — legally — down Bank Street. on page 22

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10E CAMEL Continued from page 15 of newscaster drawl, used primarily by those who wish to avoid any logical messiness or gray statements that might be misconstrued in the absence of one s lawyer. "You see, son, I provide a service," he says. The boy looks uncertain. "I provide enjoyment — pleasure, if you will." Sensing that the crowd is okay with this, Joe proceeds confidently. "People choose to smoke because they enjoy it. But, mind you, you are still too young" —- Joe s voice begins to sound fatherly now — "to really be able to make an informed decision if cigarettes are the right type of pleasure for you."

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The boys eyes remain on him. Wise in die way kids are, he seems to sense retreat in Joe, who has by now become his adversary.

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"That's a good question," Joe muses, realizing that it is, in fact.. .good. "What's your name, son?" "Billy," the kid says. "Billy, the reason I'm dressed as I am is because we want to appeal to a certain kind of adult, or, better yet, a certain part of the adult mind."

PLEASE CALL 660-3075 ^

"So why don't you dress more like an adult — you know, with a suit like that guy," the boy says, pointing to my friend Jerry, who, ironically, was walking these streets just 10 weeks before with long, unkempt hair and wearing a shirt advocating the use of a certain illegal smoke', but whom today has donned the Brookes Brothers ensemble his father sent him for his first internship.

My own mind pitches in. I

think the crowd should burst looks down at his tie blankly. out with a resounding "Which Joe stops again and, to the part?" but we do not. amazement of the crowd, takes "The part that wants to still off his camel head. A few of the be a child, understand?" people in the audience stir with Joe can see that the overdiscomfort, perhaps upset that whelming stupidity of his state- their strange feelings of arousal ment passes right by Billy. In abruptly ended with the fact, since Joe has started to removal of the head. At least sound like his father, Billy is the poor guy behind the mask more interested in stealing can finally breathe some fresh glances at a particular baseball air. It is quite hot. And now he bat. can address us "You see, human to human Billy — and this — ah, the goes for ail of integrity. you," Joe says to ** "We all want the crowd with to be kids again," a wave of his the camel guy arm, "I am not 3? starts in. 1, selling you myself, cannot something that ^ argue with this. I you don't want look over at Billy to buy. Allow and realize that me to explain all he wants to what my combe, however, is an pany is trying to adult. We all We all wish want to be somedo: We all wish that we could thing we are not, that we could don't we? So what turn up the tunes, roll down do I want to be, a turn up the penis-nosed the top and rock and roll forever, camel? Or Alex, tunes, roll the talking, beerdon't we?" This time down the top swiilins GoWen the crowd Retriever? U f i r l i n K i f ) 'Or Ar erupts with a Morris, that i and rock and lent feline that hearty "Yeah!" "Weil, then, talks like my roll forever, uncle? No, my all I'm saying is," — Joe life is screwed up dont we? enough. points to one of the many , But wait! brightly painted Maybe Joe's right. logos adorning his person — At least I get a hat and a "that Camel cigarettes are an coupon for tomorrow's smokes. essential part of that existential Camels aren't my brand, but so crisis, that je ne sais quois that what, they have la nicotina. Joe makes us realize we are alone, is selling us what we want: freestrapped to our desks or in dom, • monkey suits like these." He waves a hand at Jerry, who

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continuing education

august

28,

1996

Bv C r a i g McLauqhli n gnoring the fine print and a few carefully chosen qualifiers, I made half a million bucks opening my mail last month. I didn't win the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes or any of its kin — those kind of offers come by snail mail. No, I made my theoretical fortune opening my email. "We teach people how to make $5000 in cash weekly from their home!" said one pitch. "WE EARNED $16,800 OUR 1ST WEEK!!!!!!!," exclaimed another. And just in case I didn't know what to do with all this effortlessly accumulated wealth, there were plenty of offers about how to spend it. I could buy an original AB XTC Cross Training Cruncher — as seen on TV, no less — for a mere $39.95. Marcus wanted to scan my photographs for five bucks a shot and Laura wanted to turn my signature into a TrueType font for a slightly heftier $28.95. Terri graciously volunteered to sell me "the best-tasting and most advanced NATURAL COLLOIDAL MINERAL supplement available" and Art wanted to sell me DHEA, "the closest thing to the fountain of youth." If money and good health proved to have too great an aphrodisiac effect on me and the people I came in contact with, I could also order condoms in bulk. A box of 36 Trojan Ribbed Lubricated — those are the ones with the reservoir tip, silicone lubricant, golden color, and ribbed texture — was only $19. And if my computer was having trouble handling the influx of email, I could order another eight megabytes of memory for $112. Nearly all of these mass e-mailings contained some variation of the phrase, "Excuse the interruption, but our research shows that you might be interested in..." Even the one offering hand-sewn catnip toys. Never mind that I don't have a pet — I ' m allergic to cats. I ' v e always hated junk mail that shows up courtesy of the United States Postal Service. This sudden inundation over the Internet, though, is relatively new — it's only become a major hassle for me in the past couple of months. I admit I'm a sitting duck, because for some of my correspondence I use America Online. Any user can search the member roster and come up with my address, and clearly AOL is the richest vein to plunder if you're mining for e-mail addresses. But these nasty commercial messages have found their way to more obscure mailboxes, including my work address,

august

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1996

OUR RESEARCH INDICATES... The latest in electronic publishing is just plain junk

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"Suddenly the Internet is full of untrained amateurs with no formal company affiliation selling products for companies nobody knows" and they don't need to be driven around in internal combustion vehicles. Also, they are far easier to get rid of than paper missives and they generate no garbage. In other ways, though, e-junk is more insidious than paper junk mail. For one thing, it's less expensive. Mass e-mailers don't have to pay printing costs (dead trees are expensive), they don't have to pay a mailing house, they don't have to pay postage. They also don't have to buy mailing lists, although that's easy enough to do — one of the pitches I got last month was from a company that offered to sell 20 million addresses for $359. Although we all like to cheer how democratic, decentralized and affordable the Internet is, the financial threshold for entering the mass-mailing business is now extremely low. Any Tom, Dick and Harriet can get into the act, no matter how inexpensive their

me to another complaint. Because of the low cost threshold, a lot of ejunk comes from people pushing residual incomes schemes, legal variations on the pyramid scheme. You sell something and you also recruit other sellers. You get a cut from what you sell, from what your recruits sell, and from what your recruits' recruits and their recruits sell. Companies don't need a marketing department when they can recruit lots of hungry people at the grassroots level to push their product for a tiny commission.

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which I never publicize and which sits on a UNIX server with lots of aggressive demons that discourage outsiders from poking around. The truth is, though, no one is safe. Someone recently told me a sneaky way to grab user names from the supposedly secure server at work, and I'm convinced people are sending software robots out to collect addresses from Web pages. In some ways these e-mail messages are less vile than traditional junk mail. Although they add to Internet congestion, they don't consume dead trees,

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I'm not completely adverse to residual income schemes. Someone who gets in early enough and spends enough time marketing and recruiting can make money — although few do. But suddenly the Internet is full of untrained amateurs with no formal company affiliation selling products for companies nobody knows. The salesperson could be anyone hiding behind a false name and cryptic handle, and an unethical company's true identity can be just as elusive. The potential for scams is alarming. Unfortunately, the e-junk problem will only get worse, not to mention sleazier, and there's no national association you can write to get your name off the cyber sellers list. So practice hitting that delete key and start looking for a good mail reader that can filter any electronic message containing the phrase, "our research indicates..." •

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"I think the police officers need to do a little bit more work," su ggests jay Rehbein, a B Side employee, "and not towards skateboarding but towards the community itself. Skateboarding is harmless, but it's...in their face, and that's why they act on i t " B Side manager Zack Eberz says he doesn't blame the police, however, for their vigorous enforcement of the ordinance. "Most of the police have been really fair," says Eberz. "1 understand the law, so if I'm caught doing something wrong, then that's my fault." However, Eberz is not pleased with the current situation. "I think that not offering [skateboarders] any place to go and still enforcing $50 tickets is really rough. Its definitely a sport that's growing, but I don't think it's looked at as a sport. I think it's looked at as a gang of kids." The boarding community has been pushing for a skateboard park for quite some time, with little success. In fact, the project is exactly where it was eight years ago: tangled in bureaucratic red tape and blocked by complaints from merchants and property owners. The most recent objection to the proposed park comes from residents of Lakeview Terrace, who, according to Eberz, protest that the Burlington waterfront site would "be in their view of the sunset and that we're going to make too much noise." Eleven-year-old Tim Maclntyre, a recent convert to the sport, has been boarding in Maple Street Park in Essex Junction, near his home, but he and his mother Sharon would like to see a place in Burlington where kids could board and not be busted. Other, older boarders, who have been around town for awhile, are skeptical that the project will ever go through. "I've been to a couple of the meetings," says one jaded boarder, "and they're just bitch sessions. Everyone shows up and says, 'I'm pissed off about this, blah blah blah,' and then everyone goes home and nothing gets done." : The B Side, been selling skateboards and the lifestyle accoutrements I nine years, knows better tha anyone that t t stronger than ever, or no. The citys method of dealing wit issues, as far as the yoi

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PACIFIC RIM CAFE 8 6 0 - 7 0 0 2 • 167 C h u r c h Street • Take-out & Delivery • uniting and dividing us by virtue ot cur choices. The T-shirt itself transcends generations, races, religions, sexes and income brackets. Slogans, however, b , . define and align each group. A & r middle-aged white male may wear the same gray Hanes Beefy-T as a young black female, but their slogans probably reflect different experiences. From "Generation X" to "Malcolm X," from "Just Say No" to "Just Do It," Americans are sending out mixed messages.

tourjsts

j n search of beensouvenirs take , , , the , bus , their images home by

t h e r e -done-that

seems to be a search by the Generation-X crowd to reidentifV with the identify with the fun fun, crazy

stuff we did. There's a huge wealth of stored-up images on television that provide access six or seven years ago, was , , , to our wackiness and is easy to when a moose showed up on latch onto." Larry Carrars farm in He's referring, of course, to Shrewsbury and started hangretro relics like the Brady ing around a cow," Turiansky Bunch, The Monkees and recalls. "I sold him 1000 T h e SPAM. This nostalgia craze Moose is Loose' T-shirts a comes on the heels of merweek for two months. And he chandising mania, a rather dissold them out of his barn." turbing trend in which the The Phish phenomenon, product is more important one of Vermont's most wellthan the performance. Sports known exports, has almost licensing beats the game. Tsingle-handedly put the color shirts from the printed T~ Hard Rock Cafe shirt consolioutsell burgers. dates your Film merchandise conscience with makes it to the your clothing so shelves before the you can parade it film is released. In in public —- freefact, there are dom of speech logos on T-shirts without speaking, for products that a modern-day don't even exist. medium of expres"But one of the sion, a conduit of most ingenious popular culture, a marketing tactics silent symbol ever," adds Daniel "As we hurdle toward the about where you of the American stand — which History museum, new millenniunij the T-shirt makes textile "is that advertisers screen printers (or trend is likely to be more have convinced us silk screeners) the to buy things that about distinguishing yourunofficial purveypromote them, like ors of prevailing Coca-Cola." self from the crowd." sentiment. It's a Only in formidable and America. technical task. It appears that "We're always our occasionally surprised at the moral fiber is comvariety of messages people back in tie-dying after Jerry ing unraveled again. T-shirts want to convey," says Buzz Garcias death threatened to may be doomed to become Hoerr, vice president of sales kill sales. The recent Clifford relics of our once thoughtat In Prints in Burlington. "If Ball in Plattsburgh, and its provoking pop culture and our you're a critic, you won't last aftermath, resulted in a feedonce-prosperous apparel manlong in this business. It's fun ing frenzy for Phish Dry ufacturing age. Even Pat to just sit back and see what Goods. Buchanan, a self-appointed people say." Mr. America, may have taken "The only place to get Wayne Turiansky, owner of a cotton to off-shore produclicensed merchandise outside Amalgamated Culture Works tion. His campaign allegedly of shows is through a newsletand The T-Shirt Gallery, notter for Phishheads called opted for imported baseball ing that the very name of his Doniac Schvice," reports caps when they found out that company is an homage to texCraig McKenzie, a spokesper"Made in America" meant $2 tile history — the son for the company. "We more. Then, to add to injury, Amalgamated Clothing mostly sell logo shirts — the his staffers reportedly cut the Workers Union —- actually logo was designed by the tags out of the caps. refers to himself as a "publishband. And we have an artist In a recent letter to U.S. er" of T-shirts. His company named Jim Pollock who has Trade Representative Mickey prints what people want and Kantor, a group of apparel designed a lot of the tour sells what the market wmm sells wnat tne marKet ^ ^ He has such a particular industry associations reported demands, but draws the line at ^ ^ that 130,000 American textile k h a s b e c o m e } d entiblatan tive messages "No beer.

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ongoing PHOTOGRAPHS BY ELIZABETH MESSINA. Muddy Waters, Burlington, 658-0466. Through September. JAMES KOCH A LKA PA I NT I NGS. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 865-6227. Through September. PA I NT I NGS by Roger Chavez. Red Mill Gallery, Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. August 30September 5. POTTERY AND SCULPTURE by studio faculty. Vermont Clay Studio, Montpelier, 223-1220. September 3-30. PAINTINGS. MIXED MEDIA AND SCULPTURE, featuring works by Eva Schectman and Elaine Parker. Shayna Gallery Gallery, Wildwood Arts, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through September 20. FURNI SHI NGS AND PA I NT I NGS by Ruth Pope. Ruth Pope Gallery, Wildwood Arts, Montpelier, 2292766. Ongoing. FIVE VERM0NT ARTISTS, featuring mixed media by Ray Brown, Bob Fisher/Sam Kerson, Marie La Pre Grabon and Elaine Parker. Birdsong Gallery, Moscow, 253-9960. Through October 18. GETTING THERE: A PEEK INTO THE PROCESS, featuring mixed media works by eight local artists. The Upstairs Gallery, Essex, NY, (518) 963-7551. Through September 27. INTERI0RS AND DECOR, featuring artists and designers who celebrate the comforts and chaos of living spaces. Cafe No No, Burlington, 878-0149. Through September 10. EXPRESS ING THE FEMI NINE, group mixed media show portraying meanings of femininity. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 863-3360, Through August. LIKE

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1 8 9 5 - 1 9 9 5 . Exhibit illustrating the history of

tourism in Vermont. Vermont Historical Society, Pavilion Building, Montpelier, 828-2291. Through 1997. SABRA FI ELD: RECENT PRI NTS. New woodblock prints by Vermont's best-known printmaker. Frog Hollow on the Marketplace, Burlington, 863-6458. Through September 8. EXCUSE ME WHILE I DECOMPOSE, paintings and drawings by Mr. Masterpiece. Samsara, Burlington, 862-3779. Through September 10. PAI NT : THREE ST0RI ES, paintings by Wosene Kosrof, Ellen Langtree and Hal Mayforth. TW Wood Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through September 15. INSIDE/OUTSIDE:

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works of 11 residents from nations oldest artists' colony. Hood Museum, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Through September 29. DEAD CREEK: THE PLACE, watercolor, ink, oil and acrylic paintings of Addison County's Dead Creek Wildlife Refuge by Margaret Parlour. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through September 22. SUMMER MEDLEY, group show of mixed media by 11 regional artists. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through September 5. SEASONS OF CHANGE: 50 Years with Vermont Life, photographs from 1946-96. Vermont State House, Montpelier, 828-3241. Through September 15. THINKING LIKE A BLACKSMITH, featuringfivecontemporary Vermont blacksmiths. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury; 388-1844. Through November 28, ! • $ THE GR0WI NG SEASON, botanical prints and drawings of grasses, flowers and fruit from the 17th-20th centuries. Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-0750. Through October 13. VIEWS ON VERMONT, various artists' interpretations of Vermont and its residents, reflecting changing styles in art in the 19th-20th centuries. Fleming Museum, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-0750. Through October 27. REGIONAL SELECTIONS 1996, biennial juried show of New England featuring four Vermont artists: Louise Glass, John Hughes, Mia SchefFey and Dean Snyder. Hood Museum, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH, 603-646-2808. Through September 1.

GO FIGURE

Artists have drawn human and animal forms since the cave, and, with some exceptions, have rendered them more or less the way they really look. As such, there are few surprises to be found in figurative works; if anything, viewers are more likely to expect "realism" — e.g., anatomical correctness. If an artist renders a hand exactly, he or she must be a good artist. Well, yes and no. We can admire a perfect replica, but we can be captivated, amused or provolced by art which tinkers conceptually or dispenses entirely with literalness. At the Firehouse Gallery's new exhibit, "Figures," the entries from 10 or so artists range from flawless reproduction of reality to a zany perversion of it. In the former camp, Daniel Stermole wins hands down. His three contributions Two-thirds of "Trio, " by — a fish on a plate, a female figure and a dead robin — differ Carol Rose Crosby significantly, but each shows unerring detail. The bird is a color pencil and watercolor rendering with the precision of an ornithology textbook. Stermole's rear-view "Nude Study" is small and sassy; its style and yellowed paper gives it the appearance of a sketch from the notebook of an Old Master. In the read-into-this-what-you-will category are three fabric-art hangings, suspended like punching bags from the ceiling. Though at first glance innocuous, Carol Rose Crosby's off-white trio, turning gently in the draft from the air conditioner, turns out to be vaguely sexual and perfectly silly at the same time. One resembles a knitting disaster — two "sleeves" at either end bracket an elongated cocoon shape with a slit, like a perpendicular Cheshire-cat grin, on one side. The fleece-lined inside is roomy enough for a preschooler. The middle hanging looks like the remains of two petticoats sewn hem to hem; its slit reveals an even thicker fleece lining. The third is made from sections of a faded old quilt, and it has two slits — one on the side, the other at the bottom. Lined with rabbit fur, it resembles some fantastic outfit for a Dr. Seuss critter. Crosby's ingenious fabrications and Stermole's delicate realism define the spectrum in this show, which otherwise is filled with figurative paintings, drawings and sculpture of varying quality. Deserving a show of his own, Ted Zilius offers up two subtly disturbing collage-paintings that contrast the heinous with the superficial. Suzan White's minimalist charcoal sketch, "Figure Essence," has a near-calligraphic beauty. Marion Wickstrom's paintings feature heavily outlined nudes with closed eyes and careless extremities, surrounded with cliched squiggles and daubs of pigment, but her untitled pair are appealing despite their flaws. Kate Hartley coats her voluptuous torsos — and their frames — with sand, an interesting technique that jibes with her desert palette. A small bronze cast by Frank Califano, "Thinker 2000," posits a dainty, distaff version of Rodin's famous and far more massive sculpture. She thinks, this piece seems to say, therefore she is.

— Pamela Polston page

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August 29 - September 4 ARIZS (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): During my stay on Maui, my normal paranoia levels have declined drastically. Fears I've always taken for granted don't make sense here in paradise. It's a sweet feeling. I'm worried, though, about how this lowering of the shields will play when I return to Battleground America. At least I'm aware of the problem. You, on the other hand, don't seem to realize you're facing a similar dilemma. During your own recent encounter with massive bliss, you also experienced a loss of defense mechanisms. And now that it's time to become more warriorlike, you're still gliding around like an all-trusting jester. TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): Check yourself for the following symptoms: (1) a dwindling fascination with conflict; (2) sudden explosions of gratitude; (3) crazy longings to gaze more deeply into others' eyes; (4) attacks of goofiness which "accidentally" lead to wise discoveries; (5) a mounting power to ; recognize and accept the love | emanating from others; (6) a I growing inability to be bored. If you ; have four or more of these i symptoms, you're in ripe alignment i with your astrological destiny, and ! should continue doing what you're | doing. If you have less than four, get i more now. | GCMINI (May 21-June 20): Eons i before the invention of'TV, the tribe i known as Gemini perfected the ; channel-surfers approach to life. You and your kind have always been famous for zapping through a multitude of realities, all the while keeping track of the latest

BY ROB BREZSNY** 1 ^m

developments in each. Normally I encourage your talent for prodigious simultaneity. But this week, if you hope to soak up all the love and care and support you need, you simply can't flip back and forth among a host of sources. Please try to concentrate on sustained communion with just one or two founts of nurturing. CANCCR (June 21-July 22): The tour guide on our glass-bottom boat directed our attention to the slimy, eight-armed creature a diver was holding. "A starving octopus that can't find any food," she said, "might eat one of its own limbs." This fun fact propelled me into a meditation about us Cancerians. We're the most orally fixated sign of the zodiac, the tribe with the most highly-charged issues about eating. No one uses food as a substitute for love with more voraciousness than a Crab. Sometimes, when actual chocolate and burritos and pasta no longer fill our void, we indulge in behavior that has a metaphorical resemblance to the octopus': We eat ourselves alive; we devour our own psychic reserves in an attempt to simulate the feeling of being loved. It never works, of course — unless we do it without an iota of self-pity. L€C (July 23-Aug. 22): What?! You say you're thinking of heading into the exam room with all the answers written on your hand? Isn't that kind of like... cheating? I mean I realize that no one ascends to the heights where you are today without a little, how you say, sMghr-of-h»m|

iilMSSIMiilllillBliSIII

and mumbo-jumbo. But it would be so much better if you tattooed the info on your brain instead of your hand. That way you'll be able to respond impeccably to the exam's tough questions when they come up again in real life a few days later. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): For the old Hawaiians, the word polikua referred to the dip that lay just on the other side of the horizon, where the eye can't quite reach. I predict you'll be flirting with a fugitive vision of that magic spot all week long. If you're very vigilant — that is, if you avoid having nanakuli, "lazy eyes" — you'll be able to scrutinize vistas you've never had the power to even glimpse before. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I'm all in favor of you taking aggressive steps to root out pests that're eating away at your reserves. To ensure you do this with proper foresight, let me relate a cautionary tale I've picked up during my stay on Maui. There were originally no rats here, but the arrival of European whaling ships changed that. In an effort to quell the rodents' spread, local farmers imported scores of Indian mongooses. Only problem was, the rat was nocturnal and the mongoose diurnal. They rarely met. Ever since, thereve been two nasty predators on the loose. Moral of the story: Make damn sure the pest-control measures you initiate don't aggravate the problem. ; SCORPIO (Oct, 23-Nov. 21); Krishnamurti wished there could be a, many reJigion, in the world as

there are people. The ancient Hawaiians spoke of ka lehu o ke akua — the 400,000 gods and goddesses. I see no reason — especially now, during this spiritually potent and promiscuous phase — why you should feel any inhibitions about spouting out prayers to any old deity you feel inspired by. The more conversations with divine presences, the merrier. Ask Christ for the impossible. Implore Isis for the unimaginable. Appeal to Dionysus for the heartiest party of the decade. Beg Kali to dissolve all that obstructs your love. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Be a wave-maker, Sagittarius, maybe even a tidal wave-maker. In other words, don't keep floating along with all the other drifters as the silt builds up at the bottom of your pool and the ecological balance deteriorates. Leap into the water, and thrash about with style. Splash the cool cats who've been exploiting the comfort zone for too long. And make sure your swirling ripples reach eveiy shore. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Hawaii there are two plants,

called ama'u and limu-haea by the natives, which are famous for colonizing fresh lava flows. Their windblown seeds insinuate themselves into cracks in the cooled rock, and sprout long any other species can get it together 1 . „ , , . to act so < " " * opportunistically. 1 advise you to be c like the amaumd haea in the coming weeks, limn/ Capricorn. Wander overto a

- J-'.- V ' . .;.

frontier which resembles the wake of | a volcanic eruption. Then finagle a power spot where you can bloom like hell. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I | communed with the ocean yesterday. For an hour I bobbed like | a heaven-fresh fetus, rocking gently in the nurturing bath. The water was womb-temperature, and there wasn't a used syringe or oil spill in sight. Without warning, though, the ! welcoming mother turned into a moody trickster. Monster waves crashed down and tobogganed me into a sandbar; a vicious undertow dragged me out to a hidden abyss. Then, as suddenly as she'd withdrawn her favors, the sea became my placid cradle again. A half hour later, the battering resumed, and I had to fight to stay afloat. That's how I passed the afternoon, Aquarius. And that's the way I predict you'll spend your week, too: dialoguing with the elemental forces of nature. Even if you never set foot outside. (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): While j hiking in Maui's rainforest, I thought of you. Why? Maybe j because your inner state is like the teeming wilderness I beheld. The riot of aromas and colors reminded ! me of the primordial dreams that are now streaming up out of your unconscious mind. The almost oppressive lushness of the place evoked the frenetic fertility I've detected in your aura lately. And then there was the poignant

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SEVEN DAYS

august

28,

1996

Review THE ISLAND OF

DR. MOREAU* Laurence Olivier did it

(Clash of the Titans), John Gielgud did it {Arthur 2: On the Rocks), so did Richard Burton {Exorcist II: The Heretic), Ralph Richardson {Dragonslayer) and Peter O'Toole (take your pick: Caligula, Club Paradise, Supergirl). And now the name of Marlon Brando can be added to the list of legendary thespians who have stunned the world by showing up in a jawdroppingly awful film. The Island of Dr. Moreau is a disjointed, half-written, somnambulistically directed and relentlessly pointless adaptation of the 1896 H. G. Wells novel about a scientist who populates a tropical paradise with mutant half-human, half-animal creatures and likes to wear funny hats, lots of white make-up and billowy ensembles that could have been designed by the Vermont Tent Company. Movies are amazingly complicated confections, so I don't know why I'm always surprised when one of the ingredients gets left out Kilmer by mistake — the script, for example. As with this summers equally catoed crusadin? \ fecal Chain Reaction, the result is less a motion picture than a succession of scenes which fit together poorly, build toward nothing and have an annoyingly winged feel to them. By now everybody's written off Brando as a demented old blowhard, so watching him make a fool of himself throughout this meandering twaddle is, sadly, not all that shocking. The big mystery is the evidently willful Hollywood hari kari that Val Kilmer seems intent on committing. Kilmer co-stars here as the mad doctor's drug-addled second-in-command. Whats the deal with this maniac? He lucks into one of the most lucrative franchises of all time (the Batman series); the sequel he stars in breaks the all-time box-office record for an opening weekend, and the guy cannot bolt fast enough. I guess he figured he'd grow more as an artist by playing mumbly psychos in flops like Heat and now this. Sounds' like somebody's been taking career advice freedom Mickey Rourke. # Not 7:30 sunsets. Not LaborDay. The surest sign of summers end is the arrival in still air-conditioned cinemas of the season's stinkiest film. Store the Bermuda shorts, make space in the closet for wool sweaters, because The Island of Dr. Moreau is here. Its time, like the seasons, will be very short. Unlike dear departing summer, though, this most malodorous of movies will not be missed.

BATTY MAN

fttfk

PReviews F I R S T K I D Extra-large comedian and "Star Search" graduate Sinbad returns to the screen as a Secret

BETWEEN THE SCENES Above are production stills from four films, each with one or more of the picture's stars caught between takes talking shop with the movie's director. Your job, as always, is to process all available clues - costume, the combination of personnel, etc. - and come up with the title of the movies they're in the middle of making...

Don't forget to watch "The Good. The Bad & The BoJ(o!" on your

local previewguide

channel

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS 1. UP CLOSE & PERSONAL 2. THE FRIGHTENERS 3. THE PALLBEARERS 4. DON JUAN DEMARCO DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK

SEND ENTRIES 10: FILM QUIZ P O B O X 68, WILLISTON, VT 0 5 4 9 5 FAX: 6 5 8 - 3 9 2 9

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W A R R A N T E E D

Service agent assigned to babysit the chief executive's incorrigible offspring. CROW: CITY OF ANGELS Vincent Perez replaces Brandon Lee, who was killed in the making of the previous installment in this series based on the James O'Barr comic. As always, the Crow keeps busy by taking revenge on people who murder him. This time around, that doomed group includes actor-musician-author Iggy Pop. THE S T U P I D S John Lardis directs and Tom Arnold stars in the saga of a dimwit, his family and the alien conspiracy they stumble across: OK... S P I T F I R E G R I L L Industrial strength weeper from one-time "M»cGyver" director Lee David Zlotoff, teaming Ellen Burstyn with Alison Elliott. Elliott plays a young, spunky ex-con who arrives like a breath of fresh air in a dejected backwoods town. TRIGGER EFFECT Kyle MacLachlan and Elisabeth Shue star here as new parents whose lives are transformed not by a baby but by a widespread power failure. David Koepp directs.

SHORTS

THE F A N * * Tony {Top Gun) Scott directs this sick, derivative thriller about a psycho (Robert "What a Shock" De Niro) who goes ballistic when his favorite player falls into a slump. Wesley Snipes co-stars. CARPOOL (NR) The latest exercise in high-octane inanity from Tom Arnold, whose The Stupids is stumbling into town this month. S O L O * * Dolph Lundren must have been out of town when they cast this action adventure about a military killing machine who defies programming by developing feelings for his targets. How else to explain the presence of Mario Van Peebles? A VERY BRADY S E Q U E L * * Shelley "Look, I didn't disapp ear from the face of the earth!" Long and the whole ersatz bunch are bade. This time around the family heads for Hawaii and an encounter with Carol's first husband. There's never a live volcano around when you need one. T R A I N S P O T T I N G * * * One of the most talked-about pictures of the year, the latest from Danny Shallow Grave Boyle offers the existential adventures of a band of Scottish junkies. BORDELLO OF BLOOD ( NR) If stuff like this doesn't signal the end of summer (or civilization, for that matter), I don't know what does. Dennis Miller co-stars with Corey Feldman in the second install-

ment of the Tales From the Crypt series — a From Dusk Ttl Dawn-reminiscent busines about a vampirerun ca chouse. EMMA ( NR) Believe it or not, this is the story that inspired last years Clueless. Jane Austens 1816 novel concerns an upper-class girl who loves to play Cupid. Gwyneth Paltrow stars. HOUSE ARREST (NR) Jamie Lee Curtis and Kevin Pollakplay a divorcing couple whose kids hold them hostage in an effort to make them reconcile. ESCAPE FROM L . A . * * W e ' ve been blown away by tornados, nearly wiped out by aliens and flashed by Demi Moore. What other natural (or in Demi s case, au naturel) disasters could summer still have in store? How about an earthquake so colossal it turns the city of Los Angeles into an island overrun by criminals and forces outlaw hero Snake (Kurt Russell) Plissken out of retirement. John Carpenter directs this sequel to his 1981 sci-fi classic.

rating

scale:

—

SHCWTIMCS Films run Friday, August 30 through Thursday, September 5.

COME SEE OUR SELECTION OF ADCOM • PIONEER • MARANTZ NAD • AR • Y A M A H A • S O N Y LASERDISC RENTALS COMPLETE LASER KARAOKE SYSTEMS RENTALS FLYNN THEATRE TICKET OUTLET

ESSEX TOWNE MARKETPLACE •

august

879-3900

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. The Rock 12, 3, 6:30, 9:10. Bordello of Blood 3:35, 9:40. House Arrest 12:30, 3:25, 7 (Tues.-Thurs. only). Escape From LA. 7 (except Tues.-Thurs.), 9:30. Eraser 12:45, 6:40. Twister 6:50, 9:20. Harriet the Spy 12:15, 3:15. Evening times Mon-Fri, all times Sat-Sun. CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 First Kid* 12:05, 2:15, 4:15, 7:05, 9:35. Crow: City of Angels* 12:15, 2:25, 4:25, 7:15, 10. Hunchback of Notre Dame 12:50. A Very Brady Sequel 12:10, 2:20, 4:20, 7:10, 9:35. The Island of Dr. Moreau 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:45. The Fan 9:55. Tin Cup 12:15, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40. Jack 12:40, 3:50, 6:50, 9:50. Matilda 1, 4. A Time to Kill 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. Courage Under Fire 6:50. Independence Day 12:10, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30.

*****

NR = not

^ ^ ^ ^

rated

S H O W C A S E C I N E M A S 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. First Kid* 12:20, 2:25, 4:35, 7:05, 9:20. the Stupids* 12, 2:10, 4:20, 6:55, 9:25. Crow: City of Angels* 12:10, 2:15, 4:40, 7:15, 9:35. Spitfire Grill* 7 (Sat. & Sun. only). Carpool 12:30, 2:30, 7 (Tues.-Thurs. only). Solo 9:30 (does not play after Tues.) Tin Cup 12:40, 3:50, 6:50, 9:15. Alaska 4:30, 7 (Fri. & Mon. only), 9:30 (Tues.-Thurs. only). Evening shows Mon-Fri. All shows Sat & Sun. unless otherwise indicated. N I C K E L O D E O N C I N E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Trigger Effect* 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50, 10. Manny & Lo* 1, 3:10, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40. Matilda 1:30, 4. Emma 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Jack 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Trainspotting 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50. A Time to Kill 6:30, 9:30. THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Man With a Plan 6:30, 8:30.

SUSIE WILSON ROAD • 1 0 - 8 M - S A T

*Starts Friday. Movie times subject to change. Please call the theater to

28,

SEVEN DAYS

1996

confirm.

page

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28.

1996

Classifieds real estate GOV'T FORECLOSED HOMES FOR pennies on $1. Delinquent tax, repo's, REO's. Your area. Tollfree, 1-800-898-9778, ext. H-6908 for current listings.

studio space LARGE-ISH, SUNNY, SHARED ARTISTS/CRAFTERS STUDIO. I (woman studio artist) can share with one (or possibly two) other(s) (women preferred). Lovely, waterfront location: The Wing Building (on bikepath, next to Perkins Pier). Friendly environment, retail possibilities, $215 each for 2 or $145 to share between 3 people. Ail utils & fees incl. 864-7480. GREAT COOPERATIVE STUDIO SPACE, option of semi privacy. Above Cafe No-No near downtown Burl. - $125/mo./person. Call Kris at 658-0905.

for rent BURLINGTON, S O U T H END: 3bdrm furnished house, no smokers or pets. References. Avail. 10/1/96 thru 4/1/97. $800/mo. + utils. 660-2439 BURLINGTON: 1 bdrm. apt. at 1388 North Ave. Hardwood floors, nice backyard. Heat/water incl. at $465/mo. Call 988-4040. SMALL HOUSE IN RICHM O N D . Sept.-May. $750/mo. + utils. Some furnishings. Security deposit & references needed. Call 862-0474, leave message.

housemates BURLINGTON: F or M, clean, responsible, NS, prof./grad student to share nice house on quiet street. 5 min. to UVM, yard, parking, $425/mo. + 1/2 utils. 863-1995 (after 5pm). BURLINGTON: CAT LOVER & considerate person to share quiet family home at Stonehedge. No smokers/drugs. $350/mo. (utils. incl.). W/D, dishwasher, pool, tennis, bike path. 658-9376. BURLINGTON: Marble Ave. household seeks responsible, cigaretteless individual. Good company, nice house, basic bedroom. $275 + utils. 865-9905. BURLINGTON - S. END: 2 Fs 6 1 M N/S, mid 20s-30s, fun loving, socially conscious feminists and dog seek 1 N/S F. Pretty, quiet neighborhood. Nice, large house. W/D, dishwasher, wood stove. Near lake, Oakledge Pk. No cats. $250/mo. + 1/4 utils. 864-7480. S O U T H LINCOLN: country home, close to skiing, W/D, deck, fireplace. 453-6327.

stuff to buy BIKES!! OLDE ENGLISH BIKES: olde parts; olde service; olde sales; olde rentals. Olde, postwar beauties. Select group or other oldies. 802-888-2815. LARGE FORMAT CAMERA. Omega view 45E 4x5 camera. Rodenstock sironar 210mm lens, Majestic tripod, heavy duty case — $1200 obo. Excellent condition. Ask for Jim 863-5313. BREW YOUR O W N BEER! Homemade wine and soft drinks, too. With equipment, recipes, and friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. Now at our new location next to the Beverage Warehouse, E. Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070. N E W M O D E L C O N C E P T II ROWING MACHINE. 863-3010.

LOST CAT. Small, orange-greywhite female, big feet, extra toes,

purple collar. Gone since 8/21, N. Winooski/Grant St. area. Call 6580895 w/ info or possible sightings.

moving MOVING SALE: furniture, stereo, nice baby clothes & accessories. Good stuff! Saturday, 8/31, 9am, 73 Lakeview Dr., Burl. ARE YOU MOVING? To points S. West? I'm moving to Austin, TX on 10/1. Looking for someone to split rental of small U-haul truck w/. Call 863-8352.

house cleaning O N C E U P O N A TIME YOU loved doing the chores together, but now... the thrill is gone. Come on! Get happy! Call Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 658-7458.

automotive '94 NISSAN SENTRA, 37K MILES, 5-speed, fine condition, ruby red, gray interior, $8,200 firm. 482-3424. SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, BMW's, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4WD's. Your area. Toll-free, 1-800898-9778 ext. A-6908 for current listings. RABBIT GTI, black, turns good, body looks great. Sunroof, standard. $700 OBO. Call Aaron, 8635354. ELVIS O N C E DROVE MY '84 CHEVY CELEBRITY WAGON (proof he's still alive). New tires, muffler, brakes. Runs good, a little body rust, 120K. $300. 864-9062.

help wanted JOBS FOR T H E ENVIRONMENT. Work with the VPIRG to help increase recycling in VT. $250-$350 per week in a fun & exciting work atmosphere. Call Pete at 865-1742. AIRLINE JOBS! Now hiring. $10$25 per hour. All positions, skilled and unskilled. Excellent pay/benefits. Call 1-504-429-9229. Ext. 4580 A34. 24 hours. ENVIRONMENTALLY CONSCIOUS MARKETING FIRM seeks individuals. 862-8081. SALES ASSOCIATE, FULL & PART-TIME. Do you have a great attitude, love working with people, have an eye for color and style; teamwork and aptitude? Call 6584050 or apply at Marilyn's, 115 College St., Burlington. LEONARDO'S PIZZA seeks drivers and pizza makers. Apply at 83 Pearl St., Burlington.

T W O POSITIONS OPEN AT THE OLD NORTH END COMMUNITY/TECHNOLOGY CENTER Registrar: 30 hrs./wk. position, $7.50/hr. Registrar needed w/ strong customer service and phone skills, familiarity w/ MS Access™, word processing, spreadsheets. The candidate should have good math skills, organizational ability, attention to detail & a strong commitment to the project. Associate Technical Director: halftime position. The position includes research, program configuration, hardware installation & maintenance in actively used sites. Work with the Technical Dir. to maintain Windows NT Network & UNIX/Linux network, troubleshoot user problems, upgrade equipment & software. Network certified preferred. Cooperative, team worker needed. Send resume &C cover letter to: Peggy Luhrs, Old North End Community/Technology Center, 294 No. Winooski Ave., Burlington, VT 05401 by Sept. 3, Fax: 860-2370

ENVIRONMENTALLY CONSCIOUS MARKETING CO. seeking individuals to work w/ us. Training available. 862-8081. WELLNESS PROGRAM. Phone and mail work from home. Commission based. Call Steve 802496-3261. FULL-TIME ASST. PRODUCT I O N MGR. TRAINEE for hand-dyed clothing company. Must be creative, artistic and detail oriented. Apply in person at 424 Pine St. or call 658-0106. $1,000'S POSSIBLE READING BOOKS. Part-time. At home. Tollfree 1-800-898-9778 Ext. R-6908 for listings. INDIVIDUAL SUPPORT ASSISTANTS: We're individuals with developmental disabilities seeking people to assist us in our daily lives. We're looking for people who live in our communities and are willing to be our companions, assist us in our personal care and support us at our jobs. In an effort to help coordinate this endeavor, Lynette Loges at Howard Community Services will be accepting applications on our behalf. Please contact her at 6581914. INTERESTED? Solve a big problem, get a big paycheck. I am looking for environmentally-conscious, excited individuals to help. Professional training provided with unlimited $ potential. Call Marc at 862-0628 or toll-free at 888-8020628.

business opp JUICE BAR FOR SALE. Prime waterfront location. Growth potential. Reasonably priced. 865-2577. DEVELOP INCOME OF $40,000 T O $60,000 IN NEXT 4 MONTHS. N O T MLM. 90% COMMISSION. THIS IS REAL, YOU CAN D O THIS! 1-800-7750712, EXT. 1935.

SUB ROSA IS N O W ZOLA T U R N See them live at Last Elm (9/6) & Club Toast (9/22). Debut release "Side Saddle" now available. Rock. ZZZZZZZZZ!

BURLINGTON DOES BURLINGTON double CD available at Pure Pop, Vibes, Silvermine North and Peace & Justice Center in Burlington, Tones in Johnson, Buch Spieler in Montpelier, Alley Beat, Sound Source and Vermont Bookshop in Middlebury, Gagnon Music in Hardwick, www.bigheavyworld.com or send $22 ppd to PO Box 5373, Burlington, VT 05402. DRUM LESSONS: Musicians Institute honors graduate. 4 years teaching experience. Drummer for 5 Seconds Expired, (formerly SLUSH) Custom lesson plans. GARY WILLIAMS: 802-4726819; 5seconds@together.net DRUMMER WANTED: Guitar/ Bass/Vocals seek drummer. Original music - loud, quiet, and all points in between. Vocals a plus. Call Chris-660-9441 or Erek-8652576. GUITAR & PIANO LESSONS. George, by GEORGE! performing musician. Folk, rock, blues, altern. begin-interm. 1st lesson free! Call 865-2303 ($15/hr„ neg.). GET ORGANIZED AND GET REAL. Without a kick butt Press Packet your Band might as well SUCK. The K House does it for you; well and C H E A P . Call 6588645.

WE PACK AND SHIP ANYT H I N G , ANYWHERE! Call Pack & Ship Inc. 802-655-1126.

MUSICIANS! Gotta special gig? LOCATION RECORDING. CDquality digital stereo, acoustic performance our specialty. Reasonable rates. Call Bryan at Musical Audio, 496-4187.

BURLINGTON. I need a ride home from work at 11 p.m. Work on Shelburne Rd. near the Shelburne/So. Burl. line. Can you help out? I can pay bus fare equivalent. (2134) ESSEX JCT. to LEICESTER. I'll drive someone or share commute from Burl, area to So. of Middlebuty, beginning til Sept., must be at work by 7:45 a.m. (2136) HINESBURG to BURLINGTON. I work at a downtown bank and want to find someone to share the cost of driving and parking. I work 8 - 5 . Please, let's talk! (2094)

WATERBURY CENTER to FORT ETHAN ALLEN. 1 need to save money on gas and would love to Carpool several times a week. Will meet on Rte. 100. Let's do it! (2076)

child care offered COLCHESTER BUSY BODIES DAYCARE AND PRE SCHOOL. Openings for 0 -12 yr. olds, meals & snacks included. CPR & FirstAid certified. 863-5940.

BURLINGTON: Weekly women's art/painting group in large-ish waterfront studio. All levels welcome. Purpose: ideas, feedback, support, fun. 864-7480.

FOR SALE: SALDANO AMP, 100 watt SLO head (Clapton/ Haynes model), Peavey 4x12 cab, Tascam 4 channel headphone amp. Call Archer Studio for info, 6554178.

BURLINGTON - MONTREAL. I can drive you to Montreal Wed. at Friday. Return same day or next. Flexible times. (2113)

EXPERIENCED COURIER, driving from Burlington to Montreal once a week, will deliver documents, small cargo, etc. VERY REASONABLE. Call 802-6584991.

FOR SALE: PEAVEY SP II P.A. speakers w/ stands & Peavey C.S. 800 power amplifier w/ various cords. $500. Call Paul <? 8642070, leave message.

WANTED: BLACK FEMALE VOCALS for Dance Band Extravaganza. Call Roadshow at 434-3774.

VAN POOL SEATS AVAILABLE! We leave from Burlington (Sears parking lot) and the Richmond P/R for 7:30 to 4:30 workday in Montpelier. Monthly scats available. Day riders also welcome for $6 round trip. (1811)

courier services

ART CORRESPONDENCE, thru mail. Send me shit and I'll send you shit. Have something to say? Then say it. Send it. C.H., PO Box 5464, Burlington, VT 05402.

T H E KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE. AVAILABLE NOW. 3017 Williston Rd., So. Burlington. Living room-like atmosphere. Renting blocks of time per month. Reserve your space now! Call Lee at 660-2880.

A S £ « V t 0 6 O P CCTA

Call 864-CCTA to respond to a listing or to be listed.

SALISBURY-BURLINGTON. 7-3:30 shift at MCHV. Share commute from somewhere South! (2078)

E N S O N I Q ESQ-1 SYNTHESIZER. Wave Form synth, sequencer, pedal switch, 4 cartridges, MIDI, manuals, includes rugged case. $450. Call 253-2341.

SEEKING GUITARIST & BASSIST. Lead singer/guitarist/ insanely talented drummer seeking gtr. & bsst. for very tight, very groovy, funk oriented band. We are recently relocated & have tons of great material. Serious inquiries only. Andrew - 863-1986.

Vermont J F i

carpentry/paint REPAIRS, RENOVATIONS, PAINTING, consultations, decks, windows, doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured, references. Chris Hanna, 865-9813. ABOVE T H E BEST PAINTING SERVICE. Interior and exterior. References. Fully insured. Call Richard anytime at 862-0627. AAA + -655-0075. Barry J. Huston Ent. Professional painting service. Interior/exterior sched., fully insured. Great rates. Free written estimate. A-l BUILDERS. CUSTOM H O M E BUILDING, REMODELING, ADDITIONS, GARAGES, DECKS, KITCHENS, BATHROOMS, SIDING, FREE ESTIMATES. FULLY INSURED SINCE 1964. 878-5360. MORIAH ROOFING CUSTOM METAL WORKS & REPAIRS. SHINGLES-SLATE'SINGLE PLY. John A. Jones. 872-0105.

JERICHO to WATERBURY, My vanpool disbanded and Fd like to form a carpool from Jericho or the Richmond P/R I work approx. 7:30-4, but I'm flexible. (1062) BURLINGTON T O ST. ALBANS New to the area com-

personal training BE A MOVIE STAR... OR JUST LOOK LIKE ONE! In-home professional fitness training by Julie Trottier. ACE certified, $35 per 90 min. session. 878-2632. LOOKING FOR W O M E N . Bi, lesbian, straight, interested in forming a support group based on Geneen Roth's model of breaking free from compulsive over-eating. Call 862-2574. DIET MAGIC. Lose up to 30 lbs. in 30 days. Programs start at $30. Call 878-9577.

massage UNDER STRESS? Take a health break w/Tranquil Connection. Hot tub, shower, massage. Certified Therapist. Sessions: intro $30, reg. $45, extended $60. 654-6860. Please leave a message.

astrology ASTROLOGER. TAROT CARD READER. Spiritual counseling. Natal forecast, comparability and child guidance reports. Published author. Flexible hours. 10 + yrs. experience. Call Abbe Bassett 878-9284.

psychic readings NATIONALLY REFERENCED, West coast psychic/numerologist/ tarot reader available for readings, Aug. & Sept. only. 18 yrs. experi-

day, some afternoon flexibility (2066) BURLINGTON to MONTREAL. I often spend weekends in Montreal, will drive you there Friday evening, and return Sunday evg or early Monday a.m. for help with gas cost. (2051) STARKS BO RO-J E RiCHO. 1 will drive someone to jericllp or the Richmond P/R, part-time, usuallly MWF. (2083) FAIRFAX - IBM. I need rides for a few weeks, and can then share or drive for approx. 6:30/7 to 4 p.m. commute to IBM. Will pay well for rides! (2115) BURL. - BOLTON. I am looking for a ride to work at Bolton Valley Resort, or at least to Richmond Village. Work 11-7, will pay one way or round trip. (2144) BURL. - VT TEDDY BEAR. Offering rides or carpool to/from work. I work 9:30-4:30 at rhe Bear factory and want to share gas and help someone out. (2146) BURLINGTON. Downtown night shift employee seeks rides, especially from downtown to South End, most mornings at about 4:45am. Also, into town at 11:30pm. (2139) COLCHESTER - LIME KILN RD. I'm looking for rides, mostly to work only, from Blake ly Rd. to my job off Lime Kiln Rd. I can walk from St. Mikes or take bus from Winooski. Need to get to work 8-9am. Will pay. (2145) BARRE T O BURL. I'm looking for a few more people to join our carpool from Barre or Montpelier to work downtown 8-4:30. Its a great way to save money and make the commute go faster. (1568)

ence. 878-8745. Call for student special.

services 12.9 CENTS PER MINUTE, FLAT RATE, long distance phone rate, day or night! $15 unlimited use, flat rate, Internet connection! Details, literature & make money telling others 619-736-7800, ID# PE7522126 or http://freedomstarr.com/?PE7522126.

relationships f A Better Way to Meet

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SEVEN DAYS

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< TO > Giiddines Anyone seeking a healthy, non-abusiverelationshipmay advertise In PEJRSON TO PERSON. Ad sugpiorisr ^ e tangs, interests, Kfotyle, dkbcripaon. Abhrewaoara troy be tistxl to indicate gender, race, tdigion and sexual preference. No explicit sexial/aixaomkal tinguage. SEVEN DAYSreservesdie right to edk

PERSONAL ABBREVIATIONS A = Asian, B = Black, BI=Bisexual, C = Christian, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, J = Jewish, M = Male, ND=No Drugs, NS = Non-Smoking, P= Professional, S = Single, W = White or Widowed

W O M E N SEEKING MEN SWPF, 38, C O U N T R Y GAL, ENJOYS nature, music, water, laughing, dancing, more! ISO honest, sensitive, emotionally secure, intelligent, forever young at heart man to share/explore life. 64972 I N D E P E N D E N T DHF, 42, Mother of 2 - loves walks, running, music, quiet nights - ISO S B H M , 39-45, N S / D , social drinker o.k. Must like children. 64985 SBF, 37, SEEKS SWM LESBIAN/ TRANSVESTITE for friendship, possible relationship. Meet someone who can truly appreciate your uniqueness. Come, take my hand.64978 EXPIERENCE T H E FUN & EXCITEM E N T of ballroom dance. Looking for a dance partner- intermediate level -between 50-60yrs. I'm slim, fit, 5' 6". Chemistry is important so let's meet. 64952 D O Y O U R U B FEET? I'M A W O M A N W H O LOVES to be touched and yet will run through a field to be with you. 64954 SWF SEEKING FREE-SPIRITED Adventurous SM to tear up the highway with. Yikes. 64956 LOOKING FOR S O M E O N E T O CUDDLE W I T H IN FRONT OF "the fireplace after a long day of skiing? SWPF, 24, NS/D, social drinker, likes skiing, biking, hiking, dinner, dancing, movies and FUN TIMES ISO 24-32 YO loving, trusting, romantic SWPM. Couch potatoes need not apply. 64822 PLAYFUL, PASSIONATE SWF, 37, seeks parity in partner to pedal trails, paddle waves, perambulate this planet, plumb our potential. Hopheads preferred, potheads deterred. You, perhaps? 64964 N E W T O BURLINGTON. My interests are movie critiquing, traveling, honesty, motor boating & sailing, picnics, music & theater. Full-figured SWF seeking M, 37 +. 64949 FRECKLES, A DIMPLE, GREAT SMILE. DPWF, mid 40s, known for creativity, athletics, gardens, laughter, photography, love of people ISO NS, fit, funny, intelligent, handsome PWM to kayak through Vermont's waters, hike its mountains, bike its roads & enjoy its music w/. Would love to meet you. 64948 X4U+IZBA>X4AX*<oo Well-educated musician, 29, 5'8", beautiful. ISO SWM, <36, professional or academic, 5'9" +, athletic, handsome 4 long conversations, athletic adventures, rainy day sleepin'. 64894 HOT-LIPPED S M O O T H OPERATOR seeks sparkling, spunky and demure counterpart for genuine communication and excellent fun. Artists and other creative persons preferred. DEPTH ESSENTIAL! 64891 FUN-LOVING TALL MALE, let's discover Vermont's summer glory driving with picnic lunch, bicycling, hiking, water games on Lake Champlain. N/S, 48-60, Chittenden County. Are you my adventurous friend? Do you like the outdoors? Do you ski? Come & play with positive and active female. Let's have fun this summer. 64890. SOFT HEART/STRONG WILL in classy, easy, sensuous nature. Attractive, intelligent, adventurous SWF wants to learn to golf/snorkel. Be 35-45, educated, athletic, youthful, willing to teach. 64882 WHAT MAKES AN AD STAND OUT? DWPF, 35, attractive, fit, spiritual strawberry blonde likes rollerblading, sailing, skiing, dancing, good movies, good books, • good food, good beer; hates Burl, singles scene, bad lines and watching sports on t.v. ISO S/DM, N/S, 27-50 for friendship, fun, etc.., 64925 SJW - 47. Writer, artist, grown kids. Looking for friend & lover to enjoy the summer in the Kingdom. 64878 I HAVE BEEN IN BURLINGTON FOR A LITTLE M O R E T H A N A YEAR. Lost without a companion. Anyone out there who would like to find me? 64870 MATURE 19YO F LOOKING FOR S O M E O N E T O HIKE, rollerblade, rock climb, mtn. bike and enjoy the outdoors with. 64867

page

SWF, 37, NEEDS T O BE FOUND by wealthy gentleman. 64869 YOU: SWPM727-34. Like the outdoors, have a sense of humor, like music, books, good food/conversation. I am a SWPF, 30, long dark hair, blue eyes, nice smile. Still new to area, looking to share summer fun in Vermont. 64823 SPECIAL REQUEST! SWF, 33, tall, attractive, quiet, with good morals seeking sincere, tall man, 30-46 of Middle-Eastern origin only for relationship. 64851. LOOKING FOR A MAN W H O ENJOYS HAVING FUN, sports and quiet time. 64846. SWF SEEKING STRONG-MINDED INDIVIDUAL that likes reading, long walks who is open to new situations and places and likes to dream. 64849 ARE THERE ANY NICE SINGLE MEN IN THEIR 30'S LEFT? SWJPF, N/S, 34, attractive, petite, slim, fit. Likes: walking, reading, dining, Letterman humor. Seeks SWM, N/S, 30s, attractive, educated professional who is easygoing with a sense of humor. 64852 NATURE LOVER T U R N I N G OVER N E W LEAF. SWPF, 30, N/S/D, creative, honest, expressive, enjoys outdoor activities, music, fun/quiet evenings ISO SWPN/S/DM, 30s, same interests, friendship first... 64912 SIZZLING H O T Central Vt. WF looking for BIG ROCK to DOUBLE MY PLEASURE/DOUBLE MY FUN. MUST BE Clean/Healthy/Discreet/Very OpenMinded. Call, leave NAME/ STATS/NUMBER. 64853 SWF, 26, ISO A FUN-LOVING, EXCITING, FIT PM, 26-40. Not asking for a major commitment, just one for laughter and fun this summer. 64857 RSVP PDQ!!! 23YO, SWNSNDPF ISO SPNSNDPM, A.K.A you! RSVP ASAP 4 FUN w/A.B.C.'s + 1,2, 3's of L.I.F.E! DOA or DUI need not apply. (SALLY ' SEARCHING FOR HARRY.) 64861 "INVITE T O A KISS! 23YO, SWPF, naive, shy, funny, blue-eyed, curvy blonde ISO gentleman to show me the romantic side of Vermont. 21-31 YO, 5'11" + ! Call me! 64860 SWF, 31, ATTRACTIVE, MATURE AND A VIRGO. Seeking a gorgeous male, 25-33, to share good times in the sun. Must be considerate, intelligent, and fun. 64859 JOCK LOOKING T O FEEL T H E BIG ROCK. Great friend and lover and loves to do things over and over. 64727 W O N T JUMP O U T OF AN AIRPLANE, do drugs or stop evolving. Otherwise, I'm game. Responsible, attractive, NSDWPF, playful at heart, seeks friend to grow with. 64735 ARE YOU? Creative, fun, outdoorsy, into racing, music, walking, good moral values, romance, cuddling, health, honesty, and communication. Me too! SWCF ISO SWPN/SM between 35-45. 64729 SWF, 23, enjoys outdoor activities, including hiking, biking & skiing. Looking for out-going, open-minded M who enjoys twisted humor, dancing and good times. Sound like you? What are you waiting for? 64775 HOMESTEADING SWF, NS/D, 5'10", 40, w/ hoineschooling daughter. I'm into gardening, reading, travelling, camping, cooking. Looking for a man who likes the outdoors. 64930 LIFE IS G O O D . Let's enjoy it together. Sincere, spirited DWF, mid-40's, 5'8", diversified interests, needs tall D/SWM 4352 with sense of humor, tender heart, and love of the outdoors to share adventure, laughter and companionship. 64789 N O R D I C V E R M O N T NATIVE: Searching for a friend. Likes sun, movies, romance, and fun. Ages 23-31. Must have a love for laughter and life. 64790 SCRATCH MY BACK, I'LL PURR LIKE A KITTEN. SWF, 43, seeking tall WM for long walks, good conversation, candlelight dinners, quiet times. 64800 SWF SEARCHING FOR JETSET .. RENAISSANCE MAN...Charlie Brown with worldly demeanor strongly desired! Let's make it a family affair! Call me to negotiate! 64802 SWPF, 27, 5 7 " , beautiful black-haired vixen seeking a villain to have fun with. Must have a GREAT sense of humor, be adventurous, spontaneous, and adore animals. Not into LTRs with emotional burdens, just friendship with a little bit of spice. Give me a whirl. 64804 SEEKING COMPANIONSHIP. My interests include travel, photography, polo game, museums. Full-figured SWF age 39 seeking M age 40+. 64810 SINGLE, STABLE AND ABLE!! Looking for Mr. Gable. No bars, flys, or one-night stands. Bring out the music - let's start the band. SWF, blond, hazel. Seeking SWM, 50s-60s. 64817

MEN SEEKING W O M E N L O O K I N G FOR A H A N D T O H O L D , someone easy to talk w/ and who enjoys the outdoors. Old fashioned SWPM, 23, seeks fit, intelligent, sincere, easy-going match. 64973 SWPM PHOTOGRAPHER, IN-SHAPE and active, seeks active beauty (26-36) and collaborator for making art, cultural mayhem, exotic travel and enjoying Vermont life indoors and out. 64983

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(FL) TEDDYBEAR ISO (VT) HUGS. Faithful, easy going, DWM, 40, 6', 195lbs., br./gr. enjoys: gardening, camping, boating, scuba, children, pets, movies, travel, chess & photography! You: petite, 27-40, 150 lbs., artistic, honest & smiling. Willing to take a chance on romance. Boat or Darkroom a 64979 ORIGINAL OFFBEAT. Ageless, alternative cosmic messanger from Arizona - writer/ psychic/entrepreneur - seeks witty, openminded, voluptuous, female playmate, 2040, for: conversation, coffee, karaoke, dance and spontaneous grooving in the post modern epoch. 64986 LOOKING AHEAD. SDM, 40, ISO lady w/ great pair of legs to hike and ski w/. Write or call now. 64975 READ ME. DWM, 34, YEARNS FOR THAT FEELING OF TEOGETHERNESS. I'm a great friend, better lover. Above all, a man who treats his lady right. You: 24-40, slender. 64965 DWM, 38, LOOKING FOR DESIRABLE WOMAN to enjoy life with. Love dancing, good conversation, watching the sunset. Want to know more? Give me a call. 64969 SHORT, MILDLY HAPPY BOY SEEKS special friend with characteristics similar to those of mother. 64970 SWM, 28, NS, LAYERS OF MAN MADE PROGRESS, shifting with the morning breeze...clouds of dark betrayal, laughing as we try to breathe. Quiet times at times...wild inspiration surfacing during others. Musically passionate...inhibition exposition, testing senses all around. 64981 SEEKING OLDER WOMAN W H O IS YOUNG AT HEART. Attractive, fit, educated, open-minded SWM, 27, 5'10", l65lbs. seeks attractive, fit, educatd, open minded SF 30-45. 64953 ADVENTURESOME AND FRISKY SWM would hope to meet SF that will find my ticklish spot. Must have personality, smile and brains. The sky's the limit. 64955 SWM, 32, SLENDER, BLOND/BLUE. Non smoker. No Drugs. Looking for */*/F to spend romantic times and events with. I like horses, quiet times, romance, comedy, movies. If you are similar I would like to hear from you. The shy and/or w/ kids OK. Burlington area. 64957 ECCLECTIC DWM, 5'8", 160 lbs., FIT, grad student, musician with kids seeking bright, happy, deep, good-natured, physically fit woman (30-40) to ski, play tennis, sail, think w/. Musician a plus. Must really like kids. 64963 LOOKING FOR A WOMAN THAT knows herself and likes to have fun, likes

PERS

outside activities and understands the word passion. 64946 SENSUAL, PASSIONATE INTELLECTUAL, N/S, DWM seeks equally seftsual, sensuous, passionate and cultural woman, 38-48,aesethetic, athletic and kind, fit and well proportioned, for companionship and possible long terrri relationship. 64962 CAPITAL CITY AREA NON-YUPPIE, NS, DWM, 39, attractive & desirable seeks attractive, intelligent & sensual woman for intimate conversation and chemistry. 64942 BE MY WAIF? Loving, compassonate, poor, CSWM, N/S, 5'10", 180 lbs ISO skinny, flat-chested, intelligent, SF, N/S, under 36 for friendship and more. Race unimportant. 64895 28 YO SWPM, NS, 120 lbs., LIKES KIDS, hiking, canoeing, camping, quiet evenings, looking for someone for friendship and quality relationship. 64943 ARIES SEEKING ASIAN SF 21-35, Physically fit body and mind. Enjoy cooking and know how to please a man! Rock and blues music, dancing, movies, camping, traveling, Sincere relationship! No drugs, social drinking, smoking Ok. Picture &C letter a plus. 64897 SWM, 19. Tall, cute, into Punk Rock. Looking for a Punk Rock Girl to do wild things w/. I have trouble meeting girls. 64918 EXIT T O EDEN ELLIOT SLATER SEEKS MISTRESS LISA for fun and games. Sane, mid 20s, professional. Tie me up. What a great opportunity for you!!. 64951 N O SALES PITCH! Just honesty. SWM, 33, electric, loves music, dining out, long drives to special destinations. Seeking 24 to 40 YO woman to emotionally and physically spoil. Call. 64898 SAIL AWAY! Leave your troubles behind. Captain sails for warmer waters in September. Once in a lifetime adventure. No experience necessary. Bring Camera. 64902 LIKE N O OTHER. Sensitive, intelligent SWM, 34, who will treat you right and want to share good and bad times seeking woman who wants the same. Good listener. Massage exchanging and snuggling a must. Romance, computers, rollerblades, walks in woods, quiet times, commitment O.K. 64900 SWM, 38, FIT, N/S Looking for a warm, funny, honest, sincere lady, who enjoys sports, golf, laughter, country rides, movies, dining out, playing cards and good wine. Let's talk. 64899 ELIGIBLE BACHELOR: On a mission in search of the attractive, intelligent, alive and well woman to join me in life's journeys (30-37). 64909 ARE YOU A VERY ATTRACTIVE BF with lots of personality and who loves to go out? I'm a sooo fine SWM, 29, who is successful and a little too fast-paced for this town. If you're self-confident, call me. 64893 INTELLECTUAL BEACH BOY, blond/blue, smooth, 36, 5'11", 175#, jogger, cycler, outdoorsman, artisan/educator, ISO tall, slender, honest, energetic, reserved, athletic, blond, 27-33. 64883 SWM, 33, SEEKS SWF FOR SERIOUS, CONSENSUAL, DOM/SUB RELATIONSHIP. No pain or drugs. Let us become together what each alone cannot. 64923 GROUNDED, 40, HANDSOME, 5'6", very fit, eclectic, educated, professional, nice guy with wit and charm. Prefer similar, earthy, attractive, slim woman (29+), into nature, arts, travel and country life. 64926 DWMNS/D 38 YO COOKS, CARES, camps, fishes, honest, laughs, outdoors, passionate, sober. You: 25-40 WF, slim, same interests. Like attention? Tired of insensitive jerks? Write. 64941

WANNA C O M E O U T & PLAY? SJPM, a very young 40, NS, 5' 11", 180 lbs!, athletic and fit. Sensitive, kind, intelligent and very easy going. Very attractive, fun and happy to be with. Loves life, all sports, seeks happy, attractive, intelligent, NS F. Please call. 64936 CHARMING YOUNG MALE, Seeking adventurous, easy going female to spend some time with. 64905 HOLISTIC SENSUOUS. Vegetarian, environmentally aware humanist looking for international awareness in a special someone. She: hiking, biking, swimming, rock climbing, of course, music and dancing w/ PLENTY of cuddling. Me: will romance her off her feet into my muscular arms. 64921 GOOD-NATURED ADVENTURER SWM, 40, attractive, 6', 175 lbs., downtoearth, open-minded, polite, well-traveled, romantic + spontaneous. Hiking, water, nature, music + more. ISO similar, SWF, 30-40, N/S, slimish, fit, intelligent, equal, partner, co-adventurer, culture + quiet time. Friend + companion this summer. Seeking possible LTR. 64884 SWM, 25 SEEKING H O T & SEXY woman for steamy encounters. Looks are not important. An insatiable appetite is all that's required. 64906 VERY HANDSOME, HONEY OF A H U N K - warm, exciting, very comical & lovable desires fun, fit, shapely, attractive brunette for wild adventures, terrific love and Romance. Age 25-38. 64885 ARIES SEEKING ARIES, seeks SF 21 to 35. Physically fit body and mind. Cooking a plus, and know how to please a man! Rock and Blues, music, movies, camping, traveling, honesty, sincerity, no drugs, social drinking, smoking okay. Picture & letter a plus. 64887 YOUNG BUCK! SEEKS SWF, 21-30 w/the urge for spontaneous adventure! Biking, water sports and a little life on the edge; you're my kind of woman. Let's meet. Looking for laid back SWF to talk and spend time with. 64886 WATERBURY, SWPM, 42, N/S, fit, thin traveler, hiker, backpacker, movie-goer, newspaper-reader. ISO independent, fit, thin partner, nearby and spontaneous, who won't sit and wait for the phone to ring. Give me a call. 64888 DCWM, N D / N S -35- big teddy bear. Loves outdoors, cuddling, walks, movies, poetry, hugs & more. ISO N/D, N/S woman, 29-40. Possible LTR. Call me. 64889 BE DINED, WINED, N O T LINED by great find with mind, good looks, likes books. Magnum guy, no lie. Are you active and attractive? Say yes! 64881 D O YOU LIKE: Meaningful conversation, back rubs, slow passionate kisses, affection, cooking, fishing, dancing, honesty. SWPM, 27, 5'9", 148 lbs, father ISO slender affectionate SWPF, 26-34. Long hair +. 64879 25YO CULINARY S T U D E N T looking for some Vermont fun. Love to read, goof off, walk, hear tunes, talk about life. It could be fun. 64877 I KNOW YOU ARE O U T THERE SOMEWHERE. Life is too busy to hang out in bars, so I'm trying the personals. DJPM, 39, 6', slim, no kids. Avid bicyclist, into working out, music &C night life. Seeks slim fit F with similar interests. 64872 ADVENTUROUS SWM, 19, 6'3", 170 lbs., looking for adventurous SWF to hike, camp, swim and enjoy the outdoors with. 64928 PONYTAILED GENTLEMAN, 40, seeks one lusty woman for four seasons, let-it-allhang-out-take-no-prisoners kind of fun. Please write or call. 64929 CADIVAR NOT. G O O D HANDS, W O R N HEART, open mind. NSPSWM, 34, seeks happy, hearty, healthy, progressive

The Dating Game

Drrnk Specials, Sunsets and Herb Alpert! E v e r _ y W e d n e s d a y 5 : 3 0 8 : 8 0 p>m a t B r e a k w a t e r C a f e &• G r f l l JE£ln0 S t r e e t F e r r y D o c k , B u r l i n g t o n P l a y tT»e . g a m e a n d win a d i n n e r date for two! Door prizes n i g h t l y . < . < ,• . Listen to WIZN for details or call SEVEN DAYS ot 864.5684

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august

28 ,

1 996

PERSON woman to accompany in chasing rainbows, singing, dancing and building friendship. 64938 OVER EDUCATED (Ph.D) MEDICAL STUDENT, new to area. 6'3", 190lbs, DM seeks petite, S/DWPF, 25-32, to explore what VT has to offer. 64910 SWM, 6OYO LOOKING FOR COMPANION. Must have interest in fishing, ice fishing, bowling, boating, hunting, home movies and cars. 64868 RETIRED PROFESSIONAL N E W T O VT, DWM, NS, active, fit, liberal, sense of humor, seeks attractive, educated woman, 50ish. Let's talk. 64904 SOMEWHERE THERE'S A SENSATIONAL SINGLE WOMAN, slightly radical, definitely intelligent, unusual and talented, ISO an incredible relationship w/ a multi-talented, professional, physically attractive SWM, 5'7". 64940 Q: LOOKING FOR A WILD TIME? Partyin' 'til dawn? A. Yeah, rock on, you Bad Boy! B. No way, baby - long hikes and quiet evenings are more my style. If you chose answer "B," call me. SWM, 31 seeks SF ages 25-32. 64875 SENSITIVE NEW-AGE GUY (REALLY!), SWPM, 34, ENFJ, wants to grow a relationship w/ progressive, happy, outdoorsy, ecclectic woman, 28-38, healthy, fit. Grok? 64922 IN MARRIAGE-INDUCED COMA SINCE 1984, newly awakened, handsome, active professional ISO beautiful, curvy, adventurous lady to bring me up to speed in '96. Fun times promised, take a chance. 64924 ENJOY BEING. Emerging spirituality compliments active outdoorsy, semi-cultured lifestyle oversaturated w/ fun, work Sc philosophy. Desire companion about 40 YO

< TO >

to meditate, play, talk, read, relax, travel w/. Attractive, compassionate DWMN/S lawyer seeks tall, unencumbered, very intelligent tomboy to share dreams & stirring the oatmeal of reality. 64913 SWPM, 34, H I G H PROTEIN, LOW FAT, a little salty and slightly sweet but spicy vegetarian entree seeks lightly seasoned side dish for balanced eating...you pick the wine. 64863 SWPM, 34, EXPERIENCED...TRAVELLED...OUTDOOR FIT...INTELLECTUAL holistically motivated male with all options seeks female energy to balance my doshas. Let's talk. 6'1", 175 lbs. 64862 I'M A TREE STANDING ALONE IN T H E FOREST looking for someone to grow tall with. SWPM, 25, likes hikes, bikes &C fishing. Looking for ltr. 64915 34 YR OLD SWPM-NS, 160 lbs, blonde hr, bl eyes, health conscious, likes kids, hunting, fishing, canoeing, camping, quiet evenings, good conversation. Tired of bar scene. Looking for someone who wants to make a new friend that could lead into a quality relationship. 64917 HANDSOME WM, 6'1", 185 lbs., muscular & well equipped, 30ls, seeks attractive woman for fun & romance. Age unimportant. Passion and sense of humor is. 64934 SWM, 23, 5'5", VEGGIE, SMOKER ISO friendly SF for hikes, mtn. bike rides, dog walks, concerts. Hippie background a plus. Hoping for friendship, maybe more. 64935 WITTY, ROMANTIC, CONSIDERATE, sensitive, usually unself-promoting. 27 yo SWM grad student seeks laughs and moonlit walks after dining, movies, concerts & plays. 64931

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Shakespeare, Milne, Gershwin, Rachmaninoff. Well-read, energetic, lonely and curious. Can we talk? 64850

W O M E N SEEKING W O M E N GBF WOULD LIKE TO. MEET GF at least 50 +. Love life, love sports. I am a NS/D.. You are an adult. 64982 BIG BONED WOMAN LIKES GREASE, smarts and being active. I'll give my heart to the woman who has humor and.zest. Life is for living! 64958 23, TALL, SHORT HAIR, LIKES JAZZ, O'Keeffe and Dr. Seuss looking for a "coffee talker." 64960 RIOT GRRRL, 25, FULL OF ENERGY, a little nutty, but also can be serious and sensitive. Looking for a cool lady, 21-30 yo, who would be into going for a jaunt downtown just as much as a hike through the woods. The emphasis is on fun, but falling in love is my ultimate goal. So waddya say? 64939 ECCENTRIC EXPLORER. College student likes movies at home, fun outdoors, writing and wild imaginations. Looking for patient, non-judgmental person with sense of humor. Prefers 19-25- 64896 BIWF SEEKS BIWF T O BE FRIENDS AND SHARE W I T H . Must enjoy life or want to learn how. 64901 N O SKINNY MINNIE. Intelligent, ereative Montpelier lesbian, 51, seeks same. Enjoy meditation, writing, art, photography, quiet dinners, movies, strolls, opera, giving, healthy eating, pets. You? 64908 SLIM, JEWISH, FEMININE LOOKING, humurous, gentle natured, artistic, intelligent NS who adores Nature, art, music needs a soul friend just like me! No butches please. 64905 32, TALL, FEMME NEOPHYTE ISO / - i n n c a x r n FRTFND! Passions:

& gentle nature a plus. Realism required. No fooling. 64854 VERY BAD BOY, 46 seeks badder dad. Call me please, sir! 64856

M E N SEEKING M E N QUIET NIGHTS W/ YOU. GWM, 40, NS, loves music dancing, cooking. Need a partner who is ready to settle down. Winter is coming. 64966 CLOSET TRANSVESTITE, SLENDER, SEXY, LOVING seeks honest, faithful man for longterm relationship. I'm 44. You must be caring and sincere. Looking for boyfriend-husband. 64967 SOUTHERN ADDISON C O U N T Y AREA GWM, 29, 5'10", 170 lbs., in shape seeks similar GWM, 25-40, for discreet casual friendship. 64944 PLAYFUL DADDY'S BOY. In shape, blueeyed, dark, curly haired sex button. Leather, SM curious. Tie me up! 64933 LOOKING FOR A RARE PERSON! I'm a highly intuative, deeply feeling, bright man, in shape, willing to work toward commitment. Seeking same. HIV + person OK. 64919 SWM, 35, 5'10", 140 lbs., GREEN, BROWN, HIV - (3/96), passive, horses, gardening, acoustic music, alternative energy, homesteading, nudity. Seeks fidelity conscious, trim woodsman. Woodchucks welcome. 64866 GWM, 43, PROFESSIONAL, 5'9", 160. Does anyone believe in monogamy anymore? Looking for soulmate to share life (25-45). Interests vary: movies, outdoors, travel. All answered. 64876 BIWM, SHY, BONNY, CURIOUS, 511", 145 #s, brown/blue, young at 36 years, active & healthy. Seeking young, thin, cute guy who likes the outdoors, new music, movies, travel, adventure. Sense of humor

HEY MICHELE, I MISS YOU! Breakfast at Hojo's? Call me. 64974 ASIAN GIRL. SAW YOU AT PEARL'S REGGAE N I G H T on Sunday, Aug. 18. You had short hair & a silverish mini-skirt. I was the tall guy w/ light br. hair who came up to dance w/ you. I want to meet you.64968 MET AT AIRPORT A WHILE BACK, waiting for a plane, again last week. Me: having breakfast. You: going to farmers market. How do you feel about iced coffee? 64984 HI CUTIE! AS YOU LEFT T H E DATING GAME and waved goodbye to me at the bar, your captivating smile touched my heart! You: red/white striped top, dark hair. Me: checking Yellow Pages under WOW! for your phone #. 64980 1917 STUDEBAKER - STOWE CAR S H O W - Dave from Hardwick. Write C. and tell her more! BUS STATION, 8/1, RAINY AFTERN O O N , arriving from Montreal. Thanks for chatting while I waited lor friend. Missed you at Pearls. You owe me a dime. 64961 "MICHAEL T H E MUSICIAN" I M E T you at Latino Fest (Michelle). You intrigued me then I lost you. Tira mi su? Grazia. 64959 JOE GARNEAU - WHERE ARE YOU? U.S. Army, Hawaii, '64-65. Call Paul Cina, 330-799-8559 anytime.

5 d i g i t box n u m b e r s c a n be c o n t a c t e d e i t h e r t h r o u g h v o i c e m a i l or by letter. 3 digit box n u m b e r s c a n only be c o n t a c t e d by letter. Send letter a l o n g wI $5 to P O Box t 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , VT 0 5 4 0 2

To respond to mailbox ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box# on the outside and place in another envelope widi $5 for each response and address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, PO. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

ATTRACTIVE, TALL & WELL EDUCATED. SF, 34, seeking mature, liberal S/DWM, 5' 10" +, with intelligence and sophistication, for friendship, companionship and possible relationship. Box 043 AMPLE HIPPED SJF SEEKS APPRECIATIVE SJM for intimate relationship. Write and I'll fill you in on the details. Box 026. SWPF, 25, B L O N D / B L U E EYES, 5'5" ISO SWPM 25-35: I like flaming sunsets, animals, camping, fishing, playing pool (although not well), partying, spontaneity

and having fun. I believe in honesty, trust, consideration of others' feelings, dislike head games. How about you? Box 028 STARTING OVER. Where do I go? Children are grown; I'm alone. Love light sparkles but where's Mr. Markle? SF looking for SWM 50s &C 60s, varied interests. Box 034 ATTRACTIVE, PROFESSIONAL BLACK WOMAN, 40 YO, W I T H CHILDREN. Comfortable, honest, passionate. Traveling, dancing. Looking for professional white male, sincere, honest, sense of humor, understanding to share life together. Box 041 "iiiliilill

YOUNG, VERY SUCCESSFUL ATTORNEY, fit and energetic, looking for sensually attractive, elegant SPF, 22-32, to share his good fortune, sense of adventure, intellectual vibrancy and to enjoy his full specrum of interests and passions from his beautiful home to trips to Boston & Montreal and exotic points beyond. Send letter & recent photo. 046

WHAT'S LOVE GOT T O DO W/... culturally/politically aware? Dignity? Nice abs? Single dad, 40, artisan, attractive, Adirondacker. Not boring. 045 SEINFELD/IMUS They're our men if they can't do it. Perhaps I can with women 37+ from writer warrior with love & lust. Box

SWM SEEKING A CHRISTIAN WOMAN in her mid-late 20s. I enjoy downhill/cross-country skiing, tennis, hiking, long walks & quiet evenings. Please reply to Box 020 TEACHER, COACH, N / S N D P W M , handsome, sensuous, athletic, honest, fun(ny), secure, morals (little crazy/ naughty), country home, camp, 5'9", kidless. Wanted: similar woman, thirties (approx.), photo exchange: Box 022 ADVENTURE, PASSION, EXCITEMENT. Looking for a lady to share these with. No commitments. Privacy assured and expected. DWM, 42, 180 lbs. Come on, write. Box 024 ROBINS SING BETTER T H A N I. Looking for woman by and by. Seeking 39 plus sparks and storys trofn writer. Entrepreneur. Could be glory? Box 025 ANARCHIST ARTIST 45+ with o n ~ exquisite dress and nice teapot sought by subversive SWM for probing the woof and weave of longing thread by thread. Box 037 PEONIES BLOOMING, ROSES SWELLING, IRIS DROOPED. Time to get out of chicken coop. Seeking 39+ lass full of sass from poet? Writer fire. Box 036

042 TALL, SENSUOUS, HANDSOME, DEMURE, almost-free prisoner hopes to engage petite, esurient cerebral in private orienteering via words and symbols. Firework firmament above rainbow procenium. Box 044 DWM, 41, 6'2" W/ EYES OF BLUE. Looking for the love of a female for a 1-on1, non-committed relationship, total discretion for the right person. If U desire romance, passion & the need for excitement in^vour life, we need to connect. Box 014 S.D. RED DIAPER BABY seeks rebel girl/union maid, 40-50 for camaraderie and possible solidarity forever. No zealots, recent photo, please. Box 015 CURMUDGEONLY OLD COOT. Creative, intelligent, insolvent w/interests that include early music, photography, flying, Zen, cooking, bicycling, crafts seeks communicative N/S F w/ warm smile for love, marriage, children. Box 017

M p

I'M LOOKING FOR A LOVING, CARING, WARM, ETC. RELATIONSHIP to share my dreams with. I'm very easygoing, kind, friendly, loving, warm, caring. Lots more of a person. Please write me. Box 040

GWM, 18, BROWN HAIR, HAZEL EYES, 5'8", 135 lbs. seeks GWM, 18-25, to share summer with. Box .031 CURIOUS, FUN-LOVING BIWM, 5'9", 160 lbs., trim, N/S seeks similar male to play with discreetly indoors & outdoors. Write & describe your favorite games - let's meet. Box 030

. --

•

I B i VERMONT'S EXPANDED LOVE NETWORK is a discussion/support group for diose interested in creating thought-provoking, committed, multi-partner, loving relationships. Gay and straight welcome. Box 004

Love in cyberspace. Point your web browser to http://www.wizn.com/7days.htm to submit your message on-line. How to place your FR€€ personal ad with Person to Person

Person to Person

• F I L L O U T T H E C O U P O N A N D M A I L IT T O : P E R S O N A L S , P . O . B o x 1 1 6 4 , O R FAX T O 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 1 5 . P L E A S E C H E C K A P P R O P R I A T E C A T E G O R Y .

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Pier l's Back To School Sale...

Big cushie floor pi (touts

Canvas Closet Organizers Regularly from 20.99 to 34.9T

This week 16.88-27.88

sophisticated places to stack your sweaters

27" India Loom Pillows Reg 29.99

This week 23.88

here's u/here you keep y o u r

dirties

Laundry Bagger Reg. 34.99

"Primo" Prima shelving

Prima shelving Reg 79.99 & 49.99

This week 27.88

This week 63.88 & 39.88

Sale ends Sept. 7,1996

Associate store

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