Seven Days, September 1, 1999 by Seven Days

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CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne STAFF WRITER Erik Esckilsen ART DIRECTION Donald Eggert, Tara Vaughan-Hughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES David Booth, Michelle Brown, Eve Jarosinski, Colby Roberts, Diane Sullivan CALENDAR WRITER Gwenn Garland CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, John Dillon, Peter Freyne, Paul Gibson, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, David Lines, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Ron Powers, Glenn Severance, Heather Stephenson,

"He'll be milling around, getting to know people, developing relationships, et cetera..."

Molly Stevens, Pip Vaughan-Hughes, Karen Vincent, Margy Levine Young, Jordan Young PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Paula Myrick, Sarah Ryan

SEVEN DAYS is published by Da Capo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free of charge in greater Burlington, Middlebury, Montpelier, Stowe, the Mad River Valley, Rutland, Sf. Albans and Plattsburgh. Circulation: 20,000. Six-month First Class subscriptions are available for $40. Onejjear First Class subscriptions are available for $80. Six-month Third Class subscriptions are available for $20. One-year Third Class subscriptions are available for $40. Please call 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to "Subscriptions" at the address below. For Classifieds/Personals or display advertising please call the number below. SEVEN DAYS shall not be held liable to any advertiser for any loss that results from the incorrect publication of its advertisement. If a mistake is ours, and the advertising purpose has been rendered valueless, SEVEN DAYS may cancel the charges for the advertisement, or a portion thereof as deemed reasonable by the publisher.

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SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, 255 S. Champlain St., Burlington, VT 05402-1164 Tel: 802.864.5684 Fax: 802.865.1015. e-mail: sevenday@together.net http://www.sevendaysvt.com ©1999 Da Capo Publishing, Inc. All rights reserved. A S S O C I A T I O N

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SEVEN DAYS. Smart enuf for ya?

co me nt

001

Features

Departments

Leave it to Beavers

question

With industry and innovation, Roger Perry builds a better

weekly mail

page 4

Champlain College By Pamela Polston

inside track

page 5

news quirks

page 6

page 8

Crash Courses How to sign yourself up for "major" trouble By Glenn Severance

crank call page 13

Teach Your Children One-on-one wisdom from a homeschooling dad By Kevin J. Kelley

page 16

Excuses, Excuses... Dogs, death and diskettes.- Local college profs tell tales out of school — about their students By Erik Esckilsen

page 21

Readin', Writin' and Riot Gear

page 4

page 7

troubletown

page 4 7

straight dope

page 5 4

classifieds

page 5 5

red meat

page 57

story minute

page 5 7

car talk

page 5 8

life in hell

page 5 9

crossword puzzle

page 6 0

real astrology

page 6 0

Vermont schools prepare for the possibility of violence By John Hagman page 24

lola, the love counselor

page 6 1

personals

page 6 1

Pretty in Pastel

dykes to watch out for

page 6 2

clubs

page 2 6

calendar

page 3 0

classes

page 3 9

art

page 4 4

film

page 4 6

Art review: Victoria Blewer photographs By Marc Awodey

page 45

Montreal; Retro Metro Looking for a kitschy commode? The Blue Flamingo flew north... By Jeanne Keller page 48

Inside Out

Poetry review: T e l e g r a m s f r o m t h e P s y c h W a r d a n d O t h e r P o e m s , by Marc Awodey By Samantha Hunt. page 50

September 1, 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

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GENETIC ENGINEERING SERIOUS O h , what a glorious day it was to finally see an article tucked away in Seven Days that covered (somewhat) the perils of genetic engineering ["Weed It & Reap," July 28]. But, c'mon! Enough of this cutesy reporting and editorializing! I know that it isn't cool to cover any story at Seven Days with any degree of seriousness, but genetic engineering is a serious issue. T h e scary thing is not just the effects of G E crops on the monarch butterflies, but the dangers posed to human health and the ecological systems of the entire globe. We are all being duped by corporations and the USDA, not to mention the corporate mouthpiece mass media. H o w many Americans know that everytime she/he ingests non-organic corn syrup, cornstarch, canola oil and soy products, there is a very high probability that they have been genetically altered? N o t too many, I would assume. Last year, 36 percent of our corn and 44 percent of our soybean crops were of a genetically altered variety. I too am concerned about the monarch butterflies. But how about you and me? While people in Europe are well aware of this issue and are rising up and boycotting these products, many of us here run around oblivious. I don't think that it is because nobody cares. I think that it is because nobody knows. If you are going to take the time out to cover this issue at all, give us some real info that pays respect to the severity of the situ-

question

What's the first thing that pops into your head when you hear the words "back to school?" Pencils. I always loved getting those new boxes of pencils, the smell of them. — Therese Taylor Art Hop Coordinator Burlingon Lunch boxes. The strange thing is, I don't actually make my daugh ter's lunches. So it's a — Tim Brookes Writer & teacher Essex Halter tops. —

Rusty DeWees

ation and allows us to make important decisions that affect not only monarch butterflies, but all of us on the planet. — Kevin Fuchs S. Royal ton MEAN-SPIRITED TRACK Greg Goetsch got Peter Freyne's weekly mean-spirited, tabloid performance exactly right in last week's letters section. Character assassination for fun and profit (Freyne's fun and Polston and Routly's profit) are just part of the Seven Days business, and business is business, after all. I'm sure there are hundreds of readers at least who found Goetsch's thumbnail portrait of Freyne dead-on, but don't expect anything to change soon. Freyne is a bully, the pulpit is provided by the two ladies and every week some unfortunate soul is gonna get a public beating. At this point I don't blame Freyne. H e is what he is, infantile, vicious and shallow, a lightweight journalist, no, not even a journalist, an entertainer, the ghost of Rona Barrett with an overhead cam. Over at the Flea Press they are lightweights for sure, but they aren't infantile and vicious on most days. I blame the publishers who give him his platform. Alas, although there are many reasons to love Vermont, the quality of its journalism is not one. Much as it is easy to bash the media, they are a major instrument of our shared public life... Was it just me or did anyone else bust a gut at Freyne's comment that "(Smith) does not wear self-riehteousness well. N o

one does." W h a t delicious irony! This is the only level on which you can really appreciate the Vermont print media, as a farce. What, oh what, will become of Seven Days if Freyne's current six-month free audition for a job as Bernie Sanders' flack pays off with a job? This also has been pretty entertaining to read, once again, as farce. If Peter lands a job with the congressman, will Seven Days be able to continue in the black without the grotesque spectacle he provides with his weekly humiliations?...At worst Bernie could take Peter with him to Washington if he beats Jeffords. Lots of folks vote for Bernie to get him out of Vermont. W i t h Freyne on board the Bernie crusade, we could get a twofer. You know, it just might work. — Ian Robertson Wolcott S O IBERVILLE So, I'm thinking, hey, that Ethan Green guy was shown with the Inuit guy putting his thing up Ethan's butt. T h a t was cool. I didn't know Seven Days could show two people doing it. But then I'm thinking, hey, you know, I m e a n . . . B u t what the fuck? I mean, hey! It's so... Iberville. Y'know? — Daniel A. Zucker Monkton F I R E F I G H T E R S SAVE LIVES T h e article "Burning Down the House" [Seven Days, August 25] dealt with the serious problem of firefighter arson and the personal tragedy of an Elmore firefighter. T h e article missed an opportunity to express apprecia-

tion for the countless hours of hazardous c o m m u n i t y service put in by the men and women volunteer firefighters in Vermont. To repeat a characterization of firefighters as a "group of sorry guys (sic) out there whose lives are out of contol" does a disservice to these individuals. T h e City of South Burlington is fortunate to employ capable and dedicated career firefighters, but the backbone of our department is the on-call, volunteer staff. These volunteers train while we enjoy our families and fight fires while we sleep. They deserve our respect and thanks. Firefighters don't start fires, they put them out. Firefighters don't take lives, they save them. Vermont citizens can rest assured that their friends and neighbors will be there to help them when called upon. — Charles H a f t e r City Manager, City of S. Burlington CORRECTIONS: We inadvertently published a wrong phone number in the classified ad for "Housekeeper with Heart." T h e right number is 8635217. T h e article "Forest Gumption" [Seven Days, August 25] misidentified the publication featuring a recent essay by Walt McLaughlin. That essay appears in the summer 1999 issue of Small Press Review, not Small Business Review. Letters P o l i c y : S E V E N DAYS wants y o u r rants a n a r a v e s , in 2 5 0 w o r d s or l e s s . Letters are only a c c e p t e d that r e s p o n d to content in S E V E N D A Y S . I n c l u d e y o u r full n a m e a n d a daytime p h o n e n u m b e r a n d s e n d to: S E V E N D A Y S , P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , VT 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 . fax: 865-1015 e-mail: sevenday@together.net

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page 4

SEVEN DAYS

September 1, 1999

What a Patsy! Jeezum Crow! Poor Patrick Garahan. It's not easy being chairman of a statewide Republican Party organization, especially if that organization is in the Green Mountains. You might think for a second that, in Vermont, the G O P is a struggling third-party movement. Just take a look around. The governor? A Democrat. The lieutenant governor? A Democrat. The state auditor? A Democrat. The secretary of state? A Democrat. The state senate? Sorry, a Democrat majority. The House? Another Democrat majority. Vermont's one and only congressional seat? A Progressive, revered by the Democrats. In these times, all the state chairman of the Vermont G O P can crack a smile over — and a thin smile it is — is Jim Douglas in the treasurer's office and Jeezum Jim Jeffords occupying one of our two U.S. Senate seats. (The other one is occupied by a Democrat, naturally.) So when yours truly was on "Vermont This Week" recently, recounting what an extraordinary week Congressman Bernie Sanders had — with all the glowing national media coverage he received, from the "CBS Evening News with Dan Rather" to The New York Times to USA Today— Poor Patsy just snapped. Mr. Garahan fired off a three-sentence communique to Vermont Public Television. "We Republicans have very low expectations regarding fair reporting from the Vermont media. However, last week's "Vermont This Week" sunk to a new low with the reports on Bernie Sanders. 'In the interest of truth, please give Peter Freyne the proper title in future shows — Spokesman for Congressman Sanders." Thank you, Patsy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Nothing like a new title. It'll hopefully replace the one that's been hanging around my neck since winter — "Press Secretary for Republican Mayoral Candidate Kurt Wright." Still, Patsy's missive makes one wonder just what sort of "fair" coverage Vermont Republican leaders want. Don't they watch WCAX-TV? Or follow Sen. Jeffords' career in the Rutland Herald, where OF Bernardo is persona non grata? Okay, okay, we'll give it the old college try. For the sake of fairness and the benefit of the delicate ears of Patsy the Republican, let's try a different spin on Bernie's extraordinary week. How's this? Congressman Sanders continued his fervent effort to close down the IBM facility and send Vermont back to the economic Stone Age by playing butt-boy to a bunch of disgruntled, lazy and obviously anti-American senior IBM employees. Sources say many of the disloyal Big Blue naysayers grew up in the '60s, had long hair, smoked pot, dropped acid and avoided the draft. They complain they've been screwed by IBM's pension plan switcheroo. Like, maybe they should wake up and consider themselves lucky to even have a pension. Sanders, an avowed socialist, promised them anti-corporate, subversive pie in the sky if they stage a proletarian-style revolt inside the IBM corporate castle. Sanders, who is not a Vermont native, received mention in the left-leaning Times as well as on CBS. Few who lived though the Watergate Era will soon forget the unpatriotic rudeness Dan Rather demonstrated in his vicious, unfair questioning of former President Richard Nixon, who, unlike Pat Garahan's predecessor as Vermont

Republican chairman, was not a crook! As for Sanders' USA Today article whining about the price of prescription drugs, what did you expect? Without prescription drugs, drug stores would go out of business, putting working people, who don't get paid very much as it is, out on the street. Is that what Comrade Bernie really wants? And what about the fact that prescription drugs save lives — remember when we called them "wonder" drugs? Besides, Pfizer et al. wisely spend millions on tender television commercials informing the American public of the latest scientific discoveries that do everything from relieve hot flashes to stimulate erections. How can pharmaceutical companies be so bad if they really do so much good lifting people's spirits as well as other parts of human anatomy? And what's wrong with making a huge profit? It's the American Way. As for the feature story in Roll Call on Mr. Sanders' possible bid for the U.S. Senate, one can only ask: Why does this New York transplant care so little about Vermont? The way things are now, Vermont's congressional delegation is a perfect geographical mix. Sanders of Burlington, Leahy of Montpelier and Jeffords of Rutland. For some selfish reason Sanders continues to flirt with a challenge to Jeffords. Great. Take away the last thing in the world Rutland has going for it — a United States Senator. Look, Rutland used to be something, a contender. It was a center for manufacturing, commerce and law. When the railroads and the Proctor family ran this state, Rutland was king. It was once Vermont's second city, but, according to a July press report, Rutland's now dropped to third in population, behind the Town of Essex. How humiliating. Rutland don't even have a gay bar anymore. Now all they've got is a newspaper, a downtown Wal-Mart and a new $17 million white-elephant parking garage, built with federal funds secured by — who else? — Jim Jeffords. So what if the Rutland Herald is going all out to discourage Sanders from taking on their hometown boy. It is, after all, the Rutland paper. O n the matter of the paper's blowing off the Bernie/IBM Congressional Town Meeting, Herald scribe Diane Derby explained to the VPT audience last weekend that yours truly just doesn't get it. "We're based in Rutland, the Rutland Herald, and tend not to pay as much attention" as The Burlington Free Press would. Oh, okay. Now we get it. Sorry. There, yours truly has repented. It's time to see the news through the eyes of Patsy — a Rutland native- Down with Sanders. Up with Jeffords. Save Rutland. Please pass the Maalox. Vice-President M . D . — So far we've been the voice in the wilderness on the prospects of Gov. Howard Brush Dean nailing down the numbertwo spot on the 2000 Democratic ticket. Nuts, are we? Finally, Ho-Ho has made somebody else's list of possibilities. In the September issue of Campaigns & Elections, Dean is fourth in the running behind California Sen. Diane Feinstein (5 to 1), Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh (6 to 1), Energy Sec. Bill Richardson, "a Catholic Hispanic with an Anglo name who was born in California (12 to 1)." Dean was pegged at 14 to 1 in the morning line, just ahead of Bill Bradley.

Inside Track

BY PETER FREYNE

History indicates 14-to-l shots have been known to hit the wire first. In fact, there was one little filly we fancied at Saratoga two weeks ago that did just that. Place your bets, folks. Ho-Ho for veep! (7)

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In the Dark The week before August's solar eclipse, Romanian police reported receiving 24 complaints that overzealous postal workers forced people to buy dark glasses by deducting the cost before delivering their monthly pensions. The post office began distributing the glasses, which cost just over a dollar, after the manufacturer offered the letter carriers a $300 commission if they sold 400 pairs. One of the complaints was filed on behalf of teenager Ana Panti, who receives a monthly pension of $20 and had to buy a pair, even though she has been blind since birth. • Ponies at the Bucharest zoo, misled by the three minutes of total darkness during the eclipse, became sexually aroused and fought briefly over the right to mount a female in their paddock. "Ponies in our zoo usually mate after dark," a zoo keeper told the Reuters news agency. "Those two males were fooled by the eclipse and thought it was time for sex." The keeper added that the ponies halted their amorous advances when the sun returned. • During the eclipse, a 24-yearold German man suffered severe burns after he climbed a power pylon to get a better view of the event and inadvertently touched

a 20,000-volt electricity cable. • Egypt's al-Ahram newspaper reported that Abdel-Nasser Nuredeen strangled his wife Zeinab because he said she refused to make him a cup of tea because she was too engrossed in watching the eclipse on television.

Thank You Very Much, Mr. Robottom Japanese car maker Nissan unveiled a mechanical bottom wearing tight-fitting jeans at its manufacturing plant in northeast England. The "Nissan bottom," modeled on a 154-pound

turned out to be gasoline for the lawn mower. It ignited. The fire burned Ouattara's feet, then damaged kitchen cabinets, a broom and a sofa and rug in the living room before he put it out with a garden hose.

they had a disagreement over how to make pizza. Police said the men argued for several hours before Pazmino grabbed a knife and lunged at Vitole, stabbing him in the chest and slashing his arms.

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Gloria Owens, 68, pleaded no contest in San Jose, California, to throwing an 88year-old woman to the ground for beating her to a parking place. The incident happened when Owens was taking her 98year-old mother to the hospital and had spent 10 minutes look-

In order to make less objectionable handcuffing prisoners who refuse to work to hitching posts, the Alabama Department of Corrections announced several revisions to the punishment. U.S. District Judge Myron Thompson ruled last year that the way the state was using the hitching posts, leaving inmates in the hot sun for long hours without water or restroom breaks, was unconstitutionally cruel. Prison Commissioner Mike Haley said the new policy includes video monitoring of the hitching posts to make sure inmates get regular water and restroom breaks and allows an inmate to be unhitched and to sit down as soon as he agrees to go to work.

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person, tests the durability of car seats by sliding onto them, rubbing back and forth three times, then sliding off. The robot bottom repeats the task on each car seat 15,000 times over a three-day period.

Quest for Fire Moussa Ouattara, 27, intended frying some plantains at a friends house in Richmond, Virginia. He reached for a plastic juice bottle that he thought contained cooking oil. He poured some into a frying pan, but authorities said it

ing for a parking space. • Todd Rizzo, 20, pleaded guilty in Waterbury, Connecticut, to luring a 13-year-old neighbor into his yard by inviting him to hunt snakes, then hitting him 13 times with a 3-pound sledgehammer. Rizzo, who police said told them he had a keen interest in serial killers, especially Jeffrey Dahmer, explained that he just wanted to know what it felt like to kill someone. • Pizza chefs Fausto Pazmino, 44, and Gaetano Vitole, 34, were working at a restaurant in Thornwood, New York, when

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">pag€L6 - SEVEN DAYS

September 1, 1 9 9 9

Clothes Encounters Female municipal workers in Cardenas, Mexico, and female police officers in Bangkok, Thailand, objected to bans on wearing miniskirts. Women affected by the Mexican ordinance, which also bans blouses with plunging necklines, insist-

ed short skirts are necessary because of the hot climate. The Thai officers, who were also ordered not to wear heavy makeup and highlight their hair, complained that the new dress code will make them look dowdy. "Imagine yourself in a long skirt with a pale face and no hairdo," a female constable told a Bangkok newspaper. "My husband will surely dump me." • Pakistani authorities, meanwhile, banned visitors to Murree city, the country's most popular summer resort, from wearing shorts in public. No reason was given for the unusual measure, although orthodox Islamic scholars regard it indecent for both women and men to expose their legs. "Moreover," the magistrate's order read, "visitors and students are also not allowed to make noise, indulge in hooliganism and sing songs in the town." • Brizelia Mortimer, 29, was charged with stealing from her neighbor after police in Gifford, Florida, searched her apartment and found several items the neighbor had noticed missing over the past two weeks: a television, a box of hair-care products and one of her shoes. The victim said she began to suspect her neighbor after she spotted her missing Harley Davidson towel on Mortimers clothesline. (7)

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allelujah, I'm on the list! I, Peter Kurth, have been "personally" invited by Abercrombie & Kent, the international touring firm, to "CIRCLE T H E GLOBE IN STYLE" as we enter "a N E W CENTURY of excitement, hope and fresh beginnings!" That's right, for just $52,500 per person, double occupancy, I can join a select group of "PRIVILEGED TRAVELERS" in a "PRIVATE LI 011 JET," stopping at 12 "REMARKABLE DESTINATIONS" in 28 days and enjoying "WORLD-FAMOUS HOTELS," "ELEGANT MEALS" and "MEMORABLE ENTERTAINM E N T EVENTS." For an extra $5590, I can get a single room, although a rapidly aging H O M O SEXUAL traveling alone to Los Angeles, Honolulu, Sydney, Zanzibar, Cape Town, Rio and Miami might provide more M E M O RABLE ENTERTAINM E N T thai* hi; counting oji.'Ai besides, c my beloved partner would object. "What better time to reacquaint yourself with the wonders of our planet — past, present and future," says A&K's glitzy brochure. "And what better way to see them, than as a pampered passenger aboard this very special trip. Every element of this once-in-a-lifetime holiday operates on an ultraFirst Class level of luxury." Don't you just love that — "ultra" First Class? Do the flight attendants wash your feet or something? Are they only kissing your ass? Long ago, in another lifetime, I took a Nile cruise with A&K, and, believe me, the only things "fresh" and "hopeful" were the Nubian sailors on the boat. Anyhow, I don't think John and I will be taking this particular trip. By my calculation, if we keep doing what we're doing now for the next 40 years, we might be able to afford a shorter, 14day version of "Around the World 2000," priced at a low $27,230 each. This is provided we save, which no one does, and that we're still alive, which is questionable, and that planes are still flying in 2040, which looks increasingly doubtful from here. If anyone's still standing at all by that time they'll

be genetically engineered and can pick their own playmates. Bitter? You bet! But really — 60 grand apiece so a lot of fat-headed salesmen and their size-four wives can plunder the planet from a new angle. There's so much money piling up among the rich these days it's a wonder

dropping dead at the obscenity of it, "the salesroom burst into applause," according to The New York Times. The latest toy among the well-to-do is a high-tech toilet, imported from Japan, that fires a jet of water followed by a blast of hot air to keep you squeaky clean. In Tokyo, a lot of ultra-First Class bottoms have been going up in flames, but never mind: They'll iron out the kinks. Mind you, the "zero tolerance" policy for abusive behavior does not apply to the rich. The Times confirms an alarming rise in "help abuse" in New York City, where an increasing number of Park Avenue and Hampton socialites have been beating their maids, locking them in closets and cubbyholes, dressing them down in front of the guests and generally reminding them^Who's Boss. Yes, the ladies in $4000 brassieres still say it with a straight face: "It's so hard to find good help these days." Meanwhile, they pay the servants in food scraps and loose change. So many Dominicans, so little time!

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these days it's a wonder thev can find their wav to they can find their way to t h e airport; In the meantime, the "bumping" of ticketed passengers in economy class has increased 8 percent over last year. Flight delays are at an all-time high, with some airport hubs showing an increase of 100 to 250 percent. The Palm Beach Post reports that Delta Airlines personnel are being given new "safety training," not for use in a flight emergency, as you might imagine, but to ward off "passenger rage." "Delta has zero tolerance for abusive behavior," says a company spokeswoman. "Absolutely zero." US Airways disguises its new techniques for dealing with the rebels in steerage as "an experiment in sensitivity," offering its employees a counter-insurgency training program called "Impressions of Excellence" and its passengers the illusion of a sympathetic ear. "We're trying to find the good in a bad situation," the airline mewls. But the message is the same no matter how they deliver it: If you're poor, you walk. The worship of money is now the state religion. At a recent auction of Impressionist paintings at Sotheby's in New York, Paul Cezanne's "Still Life with Curtain, Pitcher and Bowl of Fruit" sold to an anonymous telephone bidder for $60.5 million, nearly double the catalog estimate. Far from

In Washington last week, a woman cleaning a Swissair jet at Dulles Airport found a bag containing $20,000 worth of gold, diamonds and pearls and — get this — turned it in. "I felt sorry for the woman who had lost it," said Cruz Escobar, speaking through an interpreter. "I always believed what my mother taught me, that you should never keep something that doesn't belong to you." I'm sorry, Senora, that's not how you get rich in this country. When the owner of the bag, Viki Koutsis of Fairfax, Virginia, learned about the cleaning woman's honesty, she arranged a small ceremony at Dulles to thank her. "The jewelry's sentimental value would have been irreplaceable," Koutsis said. "I would have been devastated." Ms. Escobar's reward? Three hundred dollars in cash. You can grow a lot of plantains in the backyard for that. Hell, you can fly halfway from Dulles to Salvador, provided you're not in a hurry, bring your own lunch and can fit in the overhead bin. (7)

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hen he joined the Peace Corps in 1966, Roger Perry was in for a shock. Recently graduated from Dartmouth College and still wet, as they say, behind the ears, he and his wife, Heather, were sent to a tiny outpost in the Marshall Islands. Raised in suburban Boston, Perry was hardly accustomed to living without electricity or running water, much less to raising chickens and pigs and thatching his own roof When the couple became "instant teachers" to nearly 600 indigenous Pacific islanders, "we sort of made it up as we went along," he says. Perry had no idea what surviving such primitive conditions might prepare him for, careerwise, but in retrospect his adaptability to change was the best preparation of all. He couldn't have imagined then — no one could — that 30 years later he'd be facing down the vast maw of something called the Internet, and sending the students of a small college confidently into the high-tech future. And he definitely didn't think he'd be admitting that the typing class his mother made him take in the ninth grade has "served him in good stead." That was long before e-mail, laptops and longdistance learning. As the dignified 56-year-old president of Champlain College, Perry certainly wouldn't boast so indelicately, but his school — once run down as "Beaver High," after the school mascot — is kicking butt. At a time when many small colleges are failing, or at least worrying about their shaky orbit in the rapidly changing universe of higher education, Champlain succeeds by doing what it has always done: preparing students for jobs. It's just that rr\any of those jobs are a lot different now, and so are the classrooms. In adapting his school to the current global market, Perry summarizes his approach with characteristic pragmatism: "We've been taking a look at the college in terms of how the world's changing," he says. "We put theory into practice and try to link the two — that's an important emphasis at Champlain College." Inside the handsome brick and clapboard enclave along South Willard and Maple streets are some 700 to 800 computers, Perry estimates. Many are in the newest and most impressive building on campus, the Miller Information Commons, a.k.a. the high-tech library, where some 2000 publications may be read on-line, and where discreet outlets for lap-tops can be found about every 10 feet. O n campus, students are as likely to be taking courses like Internet & Web Architecture, E-Commerce, or Current Topics in Computing as the more traditional Accounting, Business or Economics.

Leave ~ it to Beavers 'itli industry and innovation, Roger Perry builds a better Champlain College Off-site, though, some 2000 students might be literally anywhere, taking classes at any time. Champlain College On-Line (CCOL) is the newest way to learn, and uses the Internet to dispense course information and, ultimately, degrees. "Teaching via computers is huge here," says Associate Professor Fran Stoddard. "A student logs on to their class with a password, receives assignments and readings; they already have a textbook. The can have a chat room with other students for discussions, and can correspond with their professor," she explains. C C O L comes on the heels of tele- and videoconferencing, which enabled the launch of Champlains Distance Learning program and corresponding international outreach. Stoddard, the director of video communications and teleconferencing and a teacher at Champlain for nearly a decade, has been able to implement the technological advances of her specialty as quickly as they've come along. "We teach one or two courses a semester to

folks in Israel," she explains. "It's taught by our professor here and they teach basically over a television — a camera is shooting them and sending it over on a real-time basis." In fact, there are more than 2000 Champlain College students overseas, Perry notes — roughly equaling the 1300 fulltime and 965 part-time students here in Burlington. Two faculty members just spent a summer in Tel Aviv — echoing a number of faculty and administrative exchanges between the two countries — where the courses are predominantly in computer technology, public relations and communications, and travel and tourism. A smaller group has recently started in Dubai. The school has also done insurance training in former Soviet republics and led its International Underwriting

Congress — a symposium for insurers — in Mexico City and London. A third is planned for Asia in 2002. "As we got into the late '80s, we started asking international questions," says Perry. "How is the world changing, how does the U.S. fit in? We started examining the whole role of e-commerce." One of Perry's strengths as the college head, a faculty member notes, is his ability to partner with corporations, such as IDX and US West. This has led to college-business training exchanges that often result directly in students getting jobs in participating companies after graduation. Perry makes a real effort to work with the business world, confirms Stoddard. It's kind of a "let us help you get what you need" approach, she says. "Some schools may have as fancy technology or more of it, but I think what we really focus on is people who know how to use it, and use it well." No matter what their major, students graduating from Champlain College aren't likely to

be found languishing over the help-wanted ads for long: The school's job placement rate remains a fairly steady 97 percent.

hamplain College's practical roots go back to 1878. Founded by proprietor G.W. Thompson as the Burlington Commercial School, it trained male secretaries. Women had yet to be accepted into such positions, but were first admitted to the school in 1884, when the second president, E. George Evans, took the helm. He and his successor, A. Gordon Tittlemore, each had astoundingly lengthy tenures of 36 years, and during their administrations the institution changed its name twice — to Queen City Business College and then Burlington Business College.-

A year after President C. Bader Brouilette came on in 1956, the school moved from its tiny downtown quarters to the present campus in Burlington's Hill Section. It also expanded its

says Skiff, "preparing young people for careers, trying to make sure the skills are there." The cofounder and head of the Vermont Commons School in South Burlington, Skiff notes the "fine

curriculum to include general education courses, and was authorized by the state to award associates' degrees in 1958. A decade later, it was reorganized as a nonprofit and was accredited by the New England Association of Schools and Colleges. The curriculum gradually expanded from business to other career directions; In the 1980s — during the 15-year tenure of Dr. Robert A. Skiff — the school acknowledged the increasing popularity of liberal studies by introducing new four-year programs. Wanting to protect the integrity of its longheld associate programs, the college settled on an innovative "2+2" format, in which students would complete the associates degree before admission to the baccalaureate program.

line between being current and being ahead of where industry actually is. I think it's called the 'bleeding edge,'" he quips. "This college has always been very entrepreneurial," Skiff continues. "The faculty see as part of their role as professors and educators to stay current with their field but also to see where their field is going. It's probably looking at two or three potential career opportunities right now." He credits his successor with working hard to identify trends, "not just in our little bailiwick, but globally." Skiff says that Champlain College is not just teaching business, it wone. "It has a clear vision and mission, it works hard, and when they invest a dollar in a program, they expect that dollar is going to work for the students." He expresses confidence in Perry's ability to lead the ongo-

"The vision then as it is now has been reasonably consistent,"

ing high-tech charge — challenges he couldn't imagine even in the '80s. "I didn't personally envision the international focus, or the Internet and the Web having the impact it's having," Skiff says. "It's just gigantic and it's going to become bigger...When the video and graphics come on-line in a meaningful way, and the streaming of data comes into play, higher education had better be able to adapt. Champlain College is clearly poised to participate in those changes."

oger Perry came to Champlain College as vicepresident of academics a full decade before he became president. With a grasp of the lessons from history as well as an eye to the future, he fit right in to the long-term-thinking model — and the remarkable administrative stability — of Champlain. He came from Washington University, where he had been a professor of management. The city of St. Louis, he explains, provided an important lesson to the business world in the 1970s, and Perry paid attention. "It got hit hard, and lost jobs because companies hadn't learned how to adapt to competition from continued on page 10

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Has Perry himself kept up with computer technology? His answer is predictable: "Have to!" He's also no stranger to good old-fashioned elbow grease. "Roger really does his homework and works very hard to expand his vision, continually listening to other people's ideas and getting a sense of what's needed," says Stoddard. "I think that's why this institution isn't having some of the problems that other schools are facing. He's finding niches, finding out what the business community wants, how we can get involved in international markets even though we're a little school in Burlington, Vermont."

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Japan," he explains. "Then massive inflation in the late '70s spoke to how we needed to change. Being in education, I thought, how does it need to change?" Perry says he took a hard look at that when he arrived at Champlain in 1982. One of his first moves was to integrate the school's computer systems. By the time he followed Skiff into the president's office, ChampIain's long-distance learning and international relationships were underway. This year, he oversaw another overhaul of the computer system — specifically to handle the enormous usage of the Internet in the Information Commons.

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hile Champlain strives to turn out technoskilled graduates, another sea change is quietly occurring at the college. That is the gradual shift from two-year to four-year programs, and ironically, a corresponding increase in liberal arts and sciences. Champl ain offers four-year programs in accounting, business management and professional studies, and it's clear this is the direction for most, if not all, of its majors. "Eighty-five percent of our students have four-year aspirations," says Perry. Evidence that Champlain has long cared about more than strictly business is the presence of a modest theater program, headed by Don Rowe, and winning sports teams. The women's soccer and hockey teams, headed by Director of Athletics Susan Rand, have both won national championships, and Coach Bob Tipson has routinely led his men's basketball team to regional victories, with many "almosts" at the national level. The move to more baccalaureate and arts-oriented students has benefited Rowe, who also teaches fundamentals of acting and dramatic literature. "I can see students develop over four years," he says. "We're getting communications and video students...There are good writing teachers, a sculpture class, music appreciation — the arts are really beginning to flourish here, and

the students are getting more interested in these things." No longer does Rowe have to "twist arms" to rustle up a cast of characters. Stoddard, who has turned thespian herself in some of Rowe's productions, is happy the school is stretching its educational mission, even as it stays focused on the job market. "The school is really changing, becoming a more rounded institution of higher learning, where the stu-

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dents demand to have a sports program, and want to have more arts and liberal programs/' Stoddard says. "I think it's really positive, and makes those students who may think of themselves as 'business people' open their minds and think a little differently." Perry points to liberal arts "extras" like the school's "great speaker series," and a campuswide reading "orientation" with Middlebury author Julia Alvarez. He lauds, too, the hands-on faculty and staff — there is no Ivory Tower tenure at Champlain. "I am most proud of developing a strong community here that's learned how to analyze what's going on around us and adapt, that's tested uncharted waters and is not afraid to do that," he says. "That's passed on to the students." All this does not, of course, come particularly cheap: Last year, Champlain College ran about $17,500 for tuition, room and board. By comparison, both St. Michael's and the University of Vermont were more than $20,000. From his office in Freeman Hall, Dr. Roger Perry commands a view not just of the lake that shares his school's name, but of an expanding campus. It includes an electronic classroom and numerous links to an increasingly amorphous global one. Locals may remember the "Beaver High" jab, but that rep could soon be ancient history. As Perry continues to reposition and "brand" the school as a four-year, arts-loving, techno-sawy and worldwise institution, Champlain College just might get the last laugh. 0

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Courses

How to sign yourself up for "major" trouble

By Glenn Severance

elcome back students! Go college! Go U-haul trucks! Go dormsized-refrigerator rental companies! Go guys who sell 10' x 10' rugs out on the campus green! It doesn't take a genius to see that you're already overextended getting your life in order. You don't have time to sweat the small details, like choosing your college courses. There are certainly more pressing issues at hand, such as working out a signal between you and your roommate for when you're entertaining "company" and should not be disturbed. Hey, we understand, we've been there. We've gone ahead and chosen this year's course load for you. Happy to help. And good luck.

ADVANCED L I G H T I N G WCIN350, Burlington College This course will span the anything-but-brief history of light — from The Almighty's first day on the job through the hip track lighting in your newly modernized kitchenette. Three credit hours of Advanced Lighting and you too will possess insight into mysteries that have puzzled civilizations worldwide. Quandaries like: Just how many Polacks, Berklee guitar students or one-armed Amish ministers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Students are encouraged to participate in planned philosophical debates: Where would we be now if it had taken Man a thousand years longer to discover fire? Is three on a match a reasonable goal? Should all the lights flash in time with the drum solo?

MATH LAB FOR ADVANCED STUDY MA 500, Middlebury College In a laboratory deep inside the base of a mountain, as part of an ongoing numerical exploration funded in equal parts by the United States government and MENSA, a lonely Dr. Sven Golschberger is on the verge of discovering the first new number in nearly 65 years. The number is a synthesis composite of the number eight and the square root of 437. This new number shall, from now on, be known as "bleen," and shall come between five and six. The true beauty of bleen is it shares no lowest common denominator with any other number and, get this, is the only known number to be divisible by zero. And do you know why our heroic mathlete was able to attain such a feat? He never missed a single math lab.

N E W S T U D E N T ORIENTATION WGEN100, Burlington College There are three, and only three, things a college freshman needs to know about college at the turn of the century: 1. Classes: nothing before 11 a.m. 2. Beer: It's your best friend, so treat it right. 3. Sex: Well, you're a freshman, so you can pretty much forget about that for another year.

INTRODUCTION T O COMPUTER P R O G R A M M I N G C/C++ Computer Studies, Community College of Vermont The one — and perhaps only — good thing that can be said about this course is the administration's up-front honesty when it comes to programming. In fact, it's right there in the title: The best grade you can expect to get in Computer Programming is a C or C++. (The extra + is based on attendance. Lucky you.)

ETHICS IN T H E SERVICE PROFESSIONS HMS236, Burlington College Let's suppose you're shopping at Battery Street Jeans and have chosen a pair of used, green Levi's to purchase. As you're paying for them, the cashier reaches into one of the jeans' pockets and pulls out two crisp $100 bills. Should the cashier (a) graciously concede that the contents of the pockets now belong to you; (b) offer to split it with you; (c) insist the $200 belongs to the original owner of the jeans and, since the store keeps a consignment list, make sure the money is returned; or (d) keep it Herself? In this case we can only assume the cashier chose

(d). It should be noted that if the cashier had honored her original offer to split it with us, we would have never mentioned this incident. By the way, if you've recently consigned a pair of green Levi's 550 jeans to Battery Street Jeans, you might want to give them a call and claim your money. How's that for a lesson in ethics?

ADVANCED ADVERTISING M K T 310, Champlain College We like to call this class "Selling Ice Cubes to Eskimos," heh-heh. For the first few weeks, students will break off into groups and brainstorm songs from the '60s, '70s and early '80s that are most likely to induce 20-year-olds into buying vests and corduroys from The Gap. The irony, of course, is that The Gap, in all its inventiveness, is making 20-yearolds nostalgic over songs made popular before they were even born! The final weeks wjll be spent independently in front of the television trying to guess which will appear next: a beer commercial or a car commercial? A recent Nielsen study indicates television viewership among 18- to 34-year-olds — the Mtv generation — is down nearly 10 percent. Liars!

USING W I N D O W S Micro Computer Applications, Community College of Vermont Believe it or not, this is actually a quasi-religious course. You know the old saying: Whenever God closes a door, Bill Gates opens a window.

CONTEMPORARY MUSIC MUS 112, University of Vermont Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard Are sweeter; therefore, ye soft pipes, play on; Not to the sensual ear, but more endear'd, Pipe to the spirit ditties of no tone. (Keats) Yeah, that's all well and good, but if a band records an album in the woods and no A&R guy is around to hear it, will it ever be a hit? No, but that doesn't mean you can't learn to like it. So put down your Limp Bizkit for one night and go see some local music, fer cripes sake!

T H E O R I E S O F PERSONALITY Psychology, Community College of Vermont For you freshmen living in the dorms, this is a musttake. In fact, it might be the most important three credits you'll ever earn. Believe us, you'll find yourself returning to what you learn here throughout your years in college. For example: While it's true that Theresa, down at the end of the hall there, is a first-class bitch, you'll know to go deeper. Why is she such a bitch? Is it her zero-concept of what daddy has to go through to provide her $1000per-month allowance? Or is it because she's a slam hound and slept with both your boyfriend and your roommate? Can she help it, or is it her personality? And what about Rec Room Randy? He hangs out all day in the student lounge eating mac & cheese and watching talk shows on TV. Why? You'll have unlimited opportunities to develop your own theories of personality — and explain them to your friends and family — over the next four years.

continued on page 14

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TEACHING TRACK & FIELD, PICKLEBALL AND DANCE Phys. Ed., Castleton College Phys. Ed. is the largest department at Castleton, and no wonder. W h o could resist the complex intrigue of track and field, pickleball and dance all in the same class? W h o wouldn't want to be qualified to teach one — let alone all three — of these juvenile physical passions? Castleton's Board of Trustees must have known they had something really special when they discovered the professor who could weave this holy trinity of grade-school activities into one seamless curriculum. It should also be noted that countless New York City Ballet dancers have taken this course. Where would a prima ballerina get the courage to dance Swan Lake if not for the knowledge that she always had a pickleball career to fall back on? Note: Students looking for gut courses should not enroll in this one, because Castleton is serious about its track and field, pickleball and dance!

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SOCIODRAMA SSC 330XA, Johnson State College Do any of these scenarios sound familiar? (a) "The f***ing rugby players just dragged a whole tree into our living room. I cannot believe you let them into our party! There's no way I'm gonna pay for my half of the keg now. You go down there and tell

them to leave. I'm going to bed." Oh, and if that guy passed out on the ironing board up and dies, it's on your head, (b) "If she thinks I'm gonna sit back while she puts the moves on Michael, she's got another thing coming! She knows I've had my eye on him. Well, I guess there's only one thing to do. I'll just have to sleep with her ex-boy-friend. See you in the morning!" (c) "Pete, see those things in the fridge and cupboards with the initials GS on them. Those are mine. Stop eating my goddamn food!" If you said "yes" to any of the above then you've already got a jump on this class. You probably won't need to even crack the textbook for the first month. (Z)

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t is with a mixture of anticipation and dread that I begin the second year of homeschooling my 13-year-old daughter, Alex. The prospect is exciting because of the intellectual and emotional satisfactions the next nine months will surely bring. Last year, I thoroughly enjoyed teaching the survey of ancient civilizations that is part of the sixth-grade curriculum developed by Oak Meadow, a national homeschooling resource center based in Putney. I was surprised, after all these years, by the simple beauty of decimals and fractions. Life science, geography, art history and even spelling provided their own pleasures for my adult brain. Then there were the field

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trips — to weekday matinees at the Flynn, to museums in Middlebury and Manhattan, to a courtroom trial in Boston that I was covering for a newspaper abroad, to the YMCA for aerobics and weight-training, and to various libraries, nature trails, bike paths and ski centers. I'm looking forward to accompanying Alex on at least as many outings again this year. Oak Meadow's seventh-grade World History survey promises to be fun to teach, as does the basic geometry course, the Earth Sciences syllabus and the English units on grammar and composition. Last year, I felt very good indeed to see Alex's skills and curiosity grow from week to week, to witness her joy in learning about a new subject and

mastering some of its challenges. As a homeschool teacher, particularly as a parent of this particular student, I experience great pride watching such progress occur — pride not only in her achievements but in my own commitment, sacrifice and hard work. Not many activities provide so much ego-gratification. All that constitutes the positive side of our homeschooling adventure. But for us, there's also an enormous negative dimension that comes close to making the whole endeavor untenable. Finding the time to teach at home proved almost impossible at several junctures last year. Parents who work full-time outside the home will inevitably encounter severe stress in reserving even three hours each weekday for one-on-one formal

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[Accept in flhe obvious ] I?bout Alex meant having to rec-, ognize the. frightening schooling. That's the standard we set, and it surely provided as much academic education as is gained during a seven-hour day in a classroom Filled with other students and their attendant distractions. But to get favorable results, the homeschooling schedule has to be scrupulously followed, I've found. N o matter how harried the teacher's life may become, the time c o m m i t m e n t must be

journalist. I've also got a nineyear-old son who attends public school and a partner who works part-time as a farmer and fulltime as our family's main caregiver and grunt laborer. Under normal conditions, it's a challenging but rewarding combination of obligations and fulfillments. But homeschooling isn't a "normal" condition; it constantly imposes strains that sometimes far outweigh the satis-

honored for the sake of establishing and sustaining an ordered routine. In our case, serious illness is regarded as the only acceptable excuse for deviating from the norm. There were days last year when the homeschooling project threatened to collapse on top of me and Alex. I teach part-time at St. Michael's — two courses a semester — and work 30 or more hours a week as a freelance

factions. T h e burden is especially heavy because the daily teaching is entirely my own responsibility. My partner finds it justifiably impossible to act as both Alex's mother and her homeschool teacher. So why do I do it? Because the alternatives are either not feasible or are much worse than the one we've chosen. Alex

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status among her classmates were mainly the result of callousness on their part, then maybe I would have insisted that the school rectify or ameliorate the situation. But that's not the case. It took me much longer than my partner to acknowledge that Alex truly does qualify as a difficult child. M a n y fathers may be slow in admitting what should not be denied d u e to factors embedded in male psychology. Accepting the obvious about Alex meant having to recognize the frightening possibility that I had failed in fundamental respects and — perhaps even more stigmatically — that my daughter is "odd." I'm getting past the point of blaming myself, however. M y

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O u r schools now generally recognize the importance of preventing such ostracism. T h e y understand that social exclusion can greatly impede academic performance. And some teachers, principals and guidance counselors d o strive to apply that awareness in practical, helpful j ways, b u t schools aren't meant to serve as therapeutic c o m m u n i ties. "Problem kids" often won't find solutions in a setting that, after all, cannot fairly be expected to d o the kind of work that's more appropriately the job of parents — or mental health professionals. Still, if my daughter's pariah

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popular, "A"-student son offers reassuring testament to the mysteries of h u m a n personality. I ' m even worrying less these days about Alex's social standing. Adults not related to her often point o u t her attractive qualities, and Alex's ability to sustain at least a couple of close acquaintanceships gives hope that she may eventually integrate comfortably into the world outside our home. Integration, not isolation, is very much our objective and o u r practice. Last year, Alex took part in her public school's chorus and engaged in a number of afterschool activities organized by

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she's taking French five days a week and a few periods of art and gym at the public school in the town to which we recently moved. If the new arrangement proves encouraging, we may expand her involvement in the school in November or December. I'm not counting on that happening, though. It will likely take longer before Alex can function happily and successfully as a full-time, out-of-home student. Maybe eighth grade is when it will become possible, maybe not till high school. But those milestones seem far, far away, and I focus no further ahead than tomorrow. For other parents considering or already undertaking homeschooling, our situation is probably of limited relevance. Each child is unique, and every parent will approach this challenge in his or her own way. But even though I'm a rank amateur in comparison to most homeschooling dads or moms, the past year was educational enough to prompt this teacher to offer two observations that might be broadly applicable. First, the parent-child relationship usually vexes the teacher-student one. Efforts must be made to give primacy to the latter during the hours set aside for schooling, even though the two roles are exceedingly difficult to separate. Second, patience is the single most vital element in a homeschooling situation. T h e student has to learn to tolerate the teacher's foibles and inadequacies; but far more importantly, the teacher must develop the ability to walk away for a few minutes whenever the brink of disaster is approached. Believe me — averting an explosion is much preferable to cleaning up in its aftermath. (7)

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Dogs, death and diskettes: Local college profs tell tales out of school — about their students By Erik Esckilsen ; a fact of veterinary science that dogs eat homework prefer homework, actually, out of the entire universe of edible and semi-edible objects. It is a fact of human medical science that grandparents die with greater frequency around college exam periods. And one hardly needs to be a neo-Luddite to appreciate the gravest technological crisis we face in the twilight of the 20th century: T h e alarm clock that, for one reason or another, fails to go off. Like it or not, these are the immutable forces with which todays college instructors must contend — at least according to certain students. Certain college students who haven't completed their work on time. Now, to be fair, most students do submit their work on time. There. That's out of the way. To be accurate, the excuse involving the homework-eating dog has been retired, according to area college instructors surveyed for this article. W h e n that lame excuse is offered, says David Mona, professor of Accounting at Champlain College, it is usually ' 'given in sarcasm." However, one of Mona's colleagues, English instructor J.C. Ellefson, did have a student miss class because of a dog-show speaking engagement. And University of Vermont art instructor Sean Dye recalls a student whose work was interrupted as he cared for his dying dog. "He showed a picture of the dog to me, and it looked pretty sick-

ly," Dye says. "Finally the dog did die, and [the student] was so upset he couldn't do his work." T h e dying-grandparents excuse is alive and well, however. Several instructors surveyed note a consistent spike in elder-deathrelated excuses around exams and vacations. As U V M chemistry professor John Sharp says, "You never see it in the medical journals that this is a real problem, but talking with students, I think it is." Perhaps, he suggests, "The university should write anybody w h o has living grandparents and warn t h e m . . . they're more likely to have a heart attack or stroke as exam time approaches." Ellefson recalls a unique variation on this theme — a student w h o excused himself from a missed assignment on the grounds he'd heard that Ellefson had died. And spontaneous alarm-clock failure? In my own experience as a writing instructor at Champlain College, this ranks as the number-one excuse — across all ages and majors. I've been recording the excuses left on my voice mail and plan to use them in a class-action lawsuit against alarm-clock manufacturers. I figure I'll have more than enough to proceed by spring break. To be fair, though, an alarm clock will occasionally fail to go off — typically when a student passes out before setting it. But these are rather prosaic examples. And, as instructors point out, college students are at that age when their elder relatives are, well, at their age. It should come as no surprise that they pop off when they do. And isn't

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spring a lovely season for a wedding? So why would anyone be surprised that "I'm in my sisters wedding" is such a c o m m o n excuse — at least in Dye's art classes. According to Dye, the other biggie is " M y project is locked in my roommates car." But for every 100 or so dead grannies, faulty alarm clocks, spring weddings and misplaced projects there are a handful of A_ list excuses — excuses bizarre or memorable enough to almost merit a passing grade. Almost. Middlebury College English professor Jay Parini will not soon forget the call he received from one student on the eve of a paper deadline. "A student w h o was always late was warned by me not to try it again," Parini recalls. "And he called up the night before a paper was due and said, 'Professor Parini, I have an excuse, but it's a good one.' I said, 'It better be.' H e said, 'I'm in jail, and I was allowed only one call, and I'm calling you to tell you that's why my paper will be late.' And indeed he was in jail, but at least he had the time in jail to write the paper," Parini says. Likewise, St. Michael's College English professor Will Marquess retains the memorable — and cautionary — tale of a student w h o appeared in class after a conspicuous string of absences. " W h e n he returned to class and saw my inquisitive look," Marquess remembers, "he

said, 'I'm really sorry, man, but when I was asleep four nights ago a friend dropped a 10-strip on my tongue.' I still looked inquisitive. H e said, 'I mean 10 hits of LSD.' "I figured it was drugs, but I wasn't quite sure what a 10-strip was," adds Marquess. "And he said he had been awake for 50 hours straight and he was completely strung out. My only real question, the word I wonder about, is 'friend.' Anyway, it was memorable. H e was a smart guy. H e did pretty good work eventually. T h a t wasn't his best moment." Yet even a relatively mundane excuse can be memorable, many teachers say, if it's delivered with style. There is the deadpan approach. Michael O a t m a n , a former U V M art instructor, cites a quintessential example: "She comes in late, she's got nothing," O a t m a n recalls. "I said, 'Where's the work?' She said, 'I'm from Long Island.'" From this, he figures, he was supposed to infer that because the student was from Long Island, she traveled a fair distance to be home for the weekend, whereupon she h u n g out with her friends before making the

long return trip to Burlington, naturally preventing her from getting her work done. "I just thought that 'I'm from Long Island' was the best excuse ever," Oatman says. Sometimes deadpan equals blase — a particularly unpopular approach with teachers such as U V M geography professor Matt Hannah. T h a t would include, '"I won't be able to make the exam because I'm going skiing,'" he cautions — "with no concept that this could be objectionable." H a n n a h also recalls students with no concept that the instructor might be entitled to an excuse. "My favorite, which I've heard a

writing instructor Tom Paine, however. As Paine recalls, "I had a student who told me with a straight face that he could neither come to class on Thursday nor do the assignment because he was taking his girlfriend to Paris." W h a t sold Paine was "the way he expressed it...surely I would understand the need." Paine concedes that "I found myself nodding in agreement because he had such aplomb. H e was a Fitzgerald character." For Paine, aplomb counts. But he isn't impressed by students who acknowledge his class is less important than others — the "It's creative writing but I

recalls, "she says, 'Well, it's only an art class.' And that, my friend, is the kiss of death when you're in an art class." Some instructors invite creative excuses. Early in his teaching career, U V M art professor Frank O w e n made a "worldclass" excuse an alternative to doing the work in his drawing class. O n e student, he remembers, accepted the challenge... sort of. T h e student turned in 50 drawings — each desecrated by some "excuse," such as the fabled dog bites, roommate vomit, tire tracks. "It raised the interesting question," O w e n says. T h e student "found a nifty solution...a

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couple times," he says, "is, 'Can I make up the test?' 'Well, where were you?' 'Well, I wasn't there' — as though it were none of my business...I'm a geographer, I can tell you weren't there." T h e casual approach did work on Middlebury College creative

have a lot of work to do in other classes" mantra. U V M s Dye concurs. H e describes a meeting with a student who "didn't like my attendance policy" and would likely receive a low grade for not complying. "In the middle of our discussion about the policy," Dye

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Excuses, Excuses continued from page 22 absences are sometimes sanctioned by a higher authority. As UVM's H a n n a h offers, "A common one, which perhaps isn't that interesting, is 'My parents bought me a ticket to come home for Thanksgiving five days before vacation, and there's nothing I can do about it.'" Gee.

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You'd think the registrar would've checked the flights before making up the exam schedule. "A grammar of motives — appropriate excuses for appropriate times," is how U V M anthropology professor Robert Gordon refers to the boundless creativity upon which students draw when the deadline approaches but the work lags behind. Surely there are cultural influences at work here. Familiar to area instructors is the student with little motivation, with intellectual curiosity better calibrated to video games than to abstract reasoning exer-

English Lit paper along with it. O n e can only imagine what a bounty of excuses the sting of the millennium bug — if it stings at all — will bring to the ever taller tales of higher education. For Middlebury's Paine, seizing the opportunity to be creative may not be such a bad thing. "I try to impress upon them that the big money in the future is in making stuff up," he says. T h e real world is certainly full of examples. W h o knows, a future President of the United States could be among us today, sleeping through class, dreaming of the season's first snowfall. ®

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September Exhibition Jewelry by P e g g y E n g

"The Carved Series" Innovative s c u l p t u r a l w o r k s in carved anodized aluminum P a i n t i n g b y Will H u r d "New Mexico Colors" C e l e b r a t e d artist f r o m O k l a h o m a exhibiting rich, textural oils of Southwestern landscapes

Opening

Reception

Friday, Sept. 3rd, 5 - 8 p m

170 Bank Street, Burlington, VT

oing back to school has a timeless quality — a heady mixture of excitement and trepidation, sporty new clothes and reunions with old friends. But in the late 1990s, that backto-school bell sounds a little different — more like an alarm. It's ringing with the echo of gunfire at Littleton, Colorado, and Convers, Georgia — the latest in a series of high school shootings that have shaken the nation. A recent National Public Radio report detailed how one Georgia principal has mandated transparent backpacks for his school's students — the better to see guns or knives — as well as random locker searches. An Arkansas attorney general has distributed information on spotting and dealing with troubled students. And once-innocent schools

across the country have installed ness literature distributed by the metal detectors at their doors, state to high schools. His office banned "cult" or gang parapherhas recently seen big increases in nalia, such as black trench coats, direct-mail marketing from prior mandated uniforms. vate firms specializing in school security 'And it's ' ^ p ^ m m Vermont schools may seem far removed from the type of violence that grabbed headlines in metal detectors, Reedy not;es; S the past couple of years. Yet "but school security consulting'' Colchester High School nearly services as well." , «** had to delay graduation last ' Pinpointing " t u ^ f ^ i ® spring because of class time lost Vermont is not so easy. Since the to a series of bomb threats — all Legislature passed Act 51 in of them false alarms. In 1998, 1983, the state department of the State of Vermont issued a education is supposed to compile memo to all public schools outand publish an annual statewide lining protocol in the event of report of in-school security bomb threats, giving securityinfractions, including gun-related enhancement suggestions and incidents, according to requiring all schools to create spokesman Matt Myers. But the preparedness plans for "a variety most recent data available is from of potential catastrophes." the 1996-97 academic school year, which is considered too out Bill Reedy, legal counsel for of date to be posted on the Web the Vermont Department of site. Myers blames the reporting Education, worked on this memo as well as other security prepared- delays on staff shortages and

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counselors to other students — and is revitalizing peer support groups such as Green Mountain Teens. Students have also offered to act as "monitors" in the parking lots during the school day as part of a "senior privilege program" that gives academically qualifying seniors the freedom to leave the closed campus during lunch. As part of this, "The senior class is going to take responsibility to help monitor all classes as far as security issues, as well as cleanliness and appearance," Carnahan adds. "Students know their own groups, they know each other, and I think we've recognized that here." T h e supervisor stresses the idea of empowering students to have some ownership of and responsibility for their school.

other problems, including "chronic underfunding." H e says the newest reports should be out within a few weeks. Obviously, Vermont school administrators can't wait that long. Even if they believe "it can't happen here," they're tightening security anyway — just in case. Dr. Pamela Carnahan, w h o took over as superintendent of the Colchester School District this summer, notes the security changes that town has implemented for this school year. Many were basic physical-plant issues, such as replacing weak windows and doors, and removing underbrush from around windows and entrances. T h e parking lots have been landscaped to reduce hidden areas and to aid police patrols at night. Colchester has also made significant changes to the student handbook, Carnahan says — including the warning that all class time missed due to b o m b scares will have to be made up either the same day or on Saturdays as needed. T h e intention is to let potential pranksters know that a phoned-in threat will not translate to a holiday from school. T h e manual also diminishes expectations regarding private property — that is, students' personal belongings and lockers may be subject to searches. For the first time this fall, Colchester is implementing peer counseling — in which students are trained to serve as auxiliary

T h a t responsibility extends to interpersonal relationships as well. "A lot of schools are taking a much more proactive approach as far as confronting 'bullying' behaviors by students," says Rebecca Holcombe, a former Vermont principal who is now director of academics for the Rivendell Interstate School District — a new union district encompassing three towns in Vermont and one in New Hampshire. She advocates confronting students immediately in cases of verbal abuse, including racial slurs. A peer-based response to the problem, she notes, can be an opening for productive and enlightening discussion.

HEJilffljlH

Burlington High School has had its share of racial and ethnic conflicts. Its student body is the most diverse in the state, with at least 19 different nationalities represented. To keep the peace, an officer from the Burlington Police Department will be assigned to the halls full-time this year, following the example of Winooski High, which has been counting on cops for several years as part of the nationwide School Resource Officer program.

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AdviCe WEDNESDAY

H A V I N G A FIELD DAY

RED THREAD W/RANDY CROSBY, JOHN CREECH & ERIC GARLAND (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. STEVE BLAIR (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJS RHINO SPARKS & HlROLLA (hip-hop/reggae), Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

It's that time of year again — for going back to school, and back to

KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. COSMIC LOUNGE (techno/jungle DJs Patti & Tricky Pat), Club 156, 9:30 p.m. $2/4. LIVE MUSIC (acoustic rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

the garden. Strangefolk's Garden of Eden, that is. One last blast of summer before hitting the books? Sounds good from here. Burlington's second jam band to hit the national circuit, Strangefolk have thrown this Labor Day Weekend party three times before, at Eden Mills, Mad River Glen and now the Addison County Field Days in New Haven. And this time the fellas bring The Gordon Stone Band and Bread & Puppet Theater along for the fun. Garden of Eden is a camp-fest with entertainment all day long, and it's also Strangefolk's only summer gig for the home team. Check out images of Edens past at www.strangefolk.com, and the real thing this Saturday and Sunday.

THURSDAY BANJO W O R K O U T

PARROT HEAD PARTY (Jimmy Buffet fest), Breakwater Cafe, 4 p.m. NC. MICHELE LALIBERTE & ELLEN POWELL (Old World cabaret), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. VERMONT SONGWRITERS

You don't often hear

banjo players lauded for a "willingness to journey into scary, unpredictable territory," but that's exactly what Phish bassist Mike Gordon said about Tony Trischka. Others call him the guy responsible for Bela Fleck's

GROUP Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. Donations. STACEY STARKWEATHER (Frank Sinatra tribute), Halvorsons, 8:30 p.m. NC. MARC BRISSON (singer-songwriter), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. THE HANK WILLIAMS LONESOME, CHEATIN' HEARTSICK BAND (Neil Cleary & friends; vintage country), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C . STEVE TAUBMAN (tableside magic), Ri Ra, 7 p.m. NC. THE GRAVEL PIT, CHIN HO! (modern rock), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $3. VIBROKINGS (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. SOLOMONIC SOUND SYSTEM (reggae DJ), J.P's Pub, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. KIP MEAKER (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K (hip-hop), Last Chance Saloon, 10:30 p.m. NC. DJ GAPP, Club 156, 9:30 p.m. NC. LEAVITT & DELBACK (rock) Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. KOOL KEITH, DJ SPOOKY ("the black Elvis," DJs), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $18. GUY COLASACCO (singer-songwriter), Jakes, 6:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Swany's, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. TNT KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9:30 p.m. NC.

chops. Whatever — he's a world-class innovator who has taken the instrument well beyond its bluegrass roots — even with William Burroughs. Fellow banjo man Gordon Stone opens for him this Friday at Higher Ground.

Come celebrate with Jeh Kulu Dance and Drum Theater!! Experience an exciting evening of traditional African dance and drumming. Jeh Kulu is an ensemble from Burlington, Vermont made up of local artists and Master dancers and drummers from Guinea, West Africa.

Barre Opera House, Barre, VT Friday, September 10 at 7:30 pm $12 adults * $5 children 12 and under Advance tickets available at Barre Opera House * Credit card purchases available

For more information please call Box Office: 802.476.8188 or Jeh Kulu: 802.8S9.I802 ">pag€L26 - SEVEN DAYS

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FRIDAY JOEY LEONE & CHOP SHOP (blues-rock), Breakwater Cafe, 4 p.m. NC. CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. N C . BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC. ADAM ROSENBERG (singersongwriter), Borders, 8 p.m. NC. PIANO BAR W/ROB HANDEL, 135 Pearl, 6 p.m. N C , followed by CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), 10 p.m. $4/5. RODNEY & FRIENDS (acoustic), Ri Ra, 6 p.m. N C . RODNEY (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. N C . TOP HAT DJ, Ruben James, 11 p.m. N C . STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS (hillbilly boogie), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. CHO (Tibetan nun), Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $10, followed by GRIPP0-HARVEY FUNK ISLAND, 10 p.m. $3. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rockabilly), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJS TOXIC & FRICTION (hiphop/house), Club 156, 9:30 p.m. NC. CURRENTLY NAMELESS (groove rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. N C . LIVE MUSIC Alley Cats, 9 p.m. N C . COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8 EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. TONY TRISCHKA, GORDON STONE BAND (bluegrassjazz), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $8. QUADRA (classic rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC (rock),

weekly

Champions, 9 p.m. NC. SM0KIN' GUN (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9- p.tn. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tavern, Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim's Grille, 7:30 p.m. N C . DJ NIGHT, Franny O's, 9 p.m. N C . JUKEBOX HEROES (rock), City Limits, 9:30 p.m. $2. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. PICTURE THIS (jazz), J.P. Morgan's, 7:30 p.m. NC. AUGUSTA BROWN (rock), Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. JENNI JOHNSON (jazz-blues), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $5 with dinner. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. N C . HOT HOUSE (Top 40 dance), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $4. REGGAE DJ, Matterhorn, 9 p.m. N C . LIVE MUSIC, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9:30 p.m. $3. LIVE FOLK MUSIC, Three Mountain Lodge, 6:30 p.m. NC. APATHY JONES, Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC. THE FREIGHT HOPPERS (rock), Toadstool Harry's, 9:30 p.m. $6.

SATURDAY CHAMELEONS (r&b/Latin/jazz), Breakwater Cafe, 4 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC. STAN M0ELLER & T.S. BAKER (acoustic folk duo), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $8. LITTLE MARTIN (DJ), 135

listings

Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rockabilly), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. RETR0N0NIE (DJ Craig Mitchell), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2. GYPSY REEL (trad. Irish), Ri Ra, 9 p.m. NC. WIDE WAIL (alt-pop), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. N C , followed by DJS TIM DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b), 10 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK ('80s DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K (hip-hop), Last Chance Saloon, 9 p.m. N C . DJS TOXIC & FRICTION (hiphop/house), Club 156, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DYSFUNKSHUN (hiphop/funk), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. GUY C0LASACC0 (singersongwriter), Jake's, 6:30 p.m. NC. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. GREG DOUGLASS (singersongwriter), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. BELIZBEHA, GUEST DJS (acid-soul; College Street magazine party), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $6/8. QUADRA (classic rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Champions, 9 p.m. NC. SM0KIN' GUN (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. RHYTHM RAMBLERS (country; line dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12.

KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. JUKEBOX HEROES (rock), City Limits, 9:30 p.m. $2. GARDEN OF EDEN FESTIVAL W/STRANGEF0LK, GORDON STONE BAND (jam rock), Addison Cty. Field Days, New Haven, gates open 11 a.m. $25/30. REDWING, OPEN MIKE (acoustic trio w/Patti Casey), Ripton Community Coffee House, 7:30 p.m. $4. SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. DICK EASTER (blues-rock), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. MIRAGE (classic rock w/Mark Remick), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $4. REGGAE DJ, Matterhorn, 9 p.m. NC. THE HANK WILLIAMS LONESOME, CHEATIN' HEARTSICK BAND (Neil Cleary & friends; vintage country), Charlie O's, 9:30 p.m. N C . APATHY JONES (rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

where t Alley-Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Boony's, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-271 1. Breakwater Cafe, King St. Dock. Burlington, 864-9804. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln„ Burl., 862-6900. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. Caibur's, 115 St. Paul St., Burlington, 862-4106. Champion's, 32 Main St., Winooski, 655-4705. Charlie O's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chicken Bone, 43 King St., Burlington, 864-9674. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Extreme, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Club 156, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 658-3994. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd„ Georgia, 527-7000. Diamond Jim's Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Emerald City Nightclub, 114 River St., Montpelier, 223-7007. Finnigan's Pub, 205 College St., Burlington, 864-8209. Franny O's 733 Queen City Pk. Rd„ Burlington, 863-2909. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd„ S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Jake's, 1233 Shelburne Rd„ S. Burlington, 658-2251. J.P. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. LaBrioche, 89 Main St., Montpelier, 229-0443. Last Chance Saloon, 147 Main, Burlington, 862-5159. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Main St. Bar & Grill, 118 Main St., Montpelier, 223-3188. Manhattan Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., Buriington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144,

SUNDAY

Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Rj Ra, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401.

DAYVE HUCKETT (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. N C . SUNDAY SESSIONS (trad. Irish), Ri Ra, 5 p.m. NC. PIANO BAR W/ROB HANDEL, 135 Pearl, 6 p.m. NC, followed by LABOR DAY DANCE (benefit for Pride Vermont), 8 p.m. $5.

Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Swany's, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600.

ROCK & BOWL W/PIL0T TO GUNNER, MISSY BLY, THE MAGIC IS GONE, CHICK

Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585.

continued on page 29

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ON YOUR AVANT-GARDE Mr. Signal to Noise Pete Gershon has come in from the cold — South Hero, that is — to new quarters on Pine Street in Burlington for his 'zine and some upcoming gigs. Friend and partner in Noise John (I'm Big and I Can Dig) Akland shares the space, having turned artist Gerrit Gollner's former studio behind Speeder & Earl's into a carpeted and technology-equipped office. Gershon is also turning his growing but not-so-profitable enterprise into an official nonprofit. Gives you a better rate on stuff like postage, you know. Allows you to get grants. After all, he says, "The music were supporting and trying to promulgate is so on the fringe, it doesn't make money for anybody." Gershon is most excited about inviting the likes of Israeli avant-garde saxophonist Assif Tsahar to play an "intimate musical performance" at the new space September 18 and, next month, jazz musician/producer/legend John Sinclair and keyboardist Matt Jenson for a birthday tribute

to Thelonious Monk at Glub Metronome. Gershon concedes improvised music is a tough sell — "They think avant-garde is just going to be a lot plinking and ploinking" — but says it's "really rewarding" when you get into it. "I was just a Phish-loving guy five years ago, Gershon states modestly. And look at him now. THE END IS NEAR The end of summer, that is. I can tell not just because of the sudden influx of people in town who claim to be of drinking age, but because it's the last week for the outdoor concert series at Breakwater Cafe. The waterfront venue wraps it up with the Parrot Head Party on Thursday (Jimmy Buffet fans, give it up!), Joey Leone's Chop Shop on Friday and The Chameleons on Saturday. Watch a sunset, and the season, go down. HANKFEST Get out your hankies, boys and girls — it's time for another tribute to the mighty and lugubrious Hank Williams, cour-

tesy of Vermonter-turned-New Yorker Neil Cleary. Yep, he's back home for two tribute gigs with a handful of local cowpokes, at Red Square Thursday and Charlie O's Saturday. The Hank Williams Lonesome Cheatin' Heartsick Band proves its namesake may be dead — he would have been 76 this month — but he sure ain't gone. DO GOOD DEPT. You can have a gay old time and do two good turns this Sunday: At eight pee em, check out the Labor Day Dance for Pride Vermont at 135 Pearl, then take your ticket for half-price entry to Higher Ground, where Craig Mitchell will organize a veritable labor union of deejays for Outright Vermont — himself, KMS, Frosty, Tricky Pat, Patti, Moonflower, Grasshopper and JSK. That's an all-night affair, and a whole lotta spinnin going' on. BRIT-PICKER Has anyone else heard that teen sensation Britney Spears is coming to UVM next year? I know one 12-year-old who is foaming at the mouth over this half-baked rumor, and I would certainly rise in his esteem if I could ferret out the truth. (The Ad-missions Office says it's one of the more entertaining rumors they've heard, but "nothing is on record at this point." But I'm not going to let that get in the way.) It would have been even better had I been able to procure tickets to her show Monday at the Champlain Valley Fair — which was sold out before I

TUESDAY, S E P T E M B E R 7 S10 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW 99.9 THE BUZZ & STOWE M O U N T A I N RESORT W E L C O M E S

THE BETA BAND

could say "You Drive Me Crazy" — but I figure her freshman course schedule would be a reasonable substitute. Any and all further speculations will be welcome here . . . TRAVELIN' MAN Damon Brink has got a good thing going — going being the operative word. The coowner of Rasputin's has sold out his share of the Burlington nightclub to three other partners and will hit the road this month. After visiting friends and family around the country, Brink says he'll be doing some "entertainment work," and riding out the millennium, in Jamaica. Smart fella. Meanwhile, Marty Matheson, Scott LaCours and Darren Casanni will bravely hold down the fort no matter how lousy the weather. Good luck, Da mon, and don't forget we love tacky postcards. SINGLE TRACKS Got some spare time this Sunday? Then get up and go bowling. The occasional Burlington Rock and Bowl is back, at Ethan Allen Lanes, with indie strikers Pilot to Gunner, Missy Bly, The Magic Is Gone and, yes, even Chick Magnet. Eight bucks gets you all the balls, and music, you could want. Just stay in your own lane . . . Here's some legalese you can understand: the Vermont Law School in South Royalton is looking for performers for its new coffeehouse — musicians, comedians, poets and anyone who promises not to sue. Just kidding. Interested, call 763-8303, ext. 2314 . . . ®

Band name of the week:

Devastation

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GUIDED BYVOICES SOUTHERN CULTURE ON THE SKIDS

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THE BLUE HAWAIIANS SATURDAY, OCTOBER 2 S14 ADVANCE S16 DAY OF SHOW 106.7 W I Z N & MAGIC HAT B R E W I N G W E L C O M E

GOVT MULE CHRIS WHITLEY ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHER GROUND, FLYNN THEATRE BOX 0FHCE, ALL FLYHH OUTLETS. PURE POP, PEACOCK MUSIC TONES OR CHARGE BY PHONE at 86-FLYNN OUR CAFE IS OPEN T - F FROM 11 A M CHECK OUT OUR SOUPS, SALADS & W R A P SANDWICHES F R E S H R O A S T E D C O F F E E / E S P R E S S O BAR

imm THE BETA BAND, THE BETA BAND (Astralwerks, CD) — With the new millennium just : c ; around the corner, the Scottish quartet The Beta Band has its sights set on the future. And like many musical innovators before them, they achieve their truly futuristic sound by drawing on musical forms of the past. Everything is game here: jazz, blues, funk, r&b, hip-hop, techno, folk, whatever. Their self-titled debut release announces itself as strange from the get-go. "The Beta Band Rap" begins with a frolicking circus romp, makes a quick turn into hip-hop (sampling KRS-1), and ends abruptly in a brief, organ-driven, Elvis-inspired rock 'n' roll rant. Huh? Yeah, you try and describe them. Many will be quick to make Beck comparisons because of all of the genre-hopping, but it's too easy a categorization. The Beta Band is more complex and weirder than that precious pop darling. Indeed, these Scots are far more psychedelic. Oscillating electronics and other Pink Floyd tendencies hint at this on "Round The Bend," and angular electro-pulses on "Simple Boy" make the point all the clearer. But as tripped out as they often are, The Beta Band, like Beck, self-check their tweaker tendencies with radio-ready melodicism, freshly sampled beats and accessible vocal lines. It's this pop bent that has Spin and Rolling Stone critics predicting success for this band of freaks. And I hope they're right — it would be great to see

WWW.HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM

page 2 8

September

1999

.such a blatantly strange act achieve success. With all four calendar digits ready to flip, and much of the world fearing disaster, The Beta Band, in all its peculiar glory, simply makes sense. Witness their reportedly outlandish show at Higher Ground Tuesday. —JeffFuccillo THE GRAVEL PIT, SILVER GORILLA (Q Division, CD) — Let's face it, with the proliferation of electronicbased dance music and the popularity of genre bands using throwback conventions like swing to mark their sound, straightforward rock sounds a bit out of date these days. Either we are too jaded and bored by it, or, more pessimistically, maybe the kind of good rock that forces your body to jump around haywire just no longer exits. The Gravel Pit, a rock band from Boston, proves the latter untrue. Yes, they use the same old instrumentation — guitar, bass, drums — and yes, they play the same old 4/4 rock 'n' roll structures and three-chord progressions. Still, somehow, The Gravel Pit do not come across as boring, stale or con-

trived. Instead, as Silver Gorilla proves, the band makes rock music actually worth listening to. The difficult-to-pinpoint entity that separates the Pit from other bands of their ilk is their vibrant energy. You can hear it in lead singer Jed Parrish's commanding voice, in the pounding drum work of Pete Caldes and in the intermingling swirl of Lucky Jackson and Ed Valauskas' guitars. All four musicians simply know how to rock, period. The album skirts a variety of styles, from the Dick Dale-inspired fuzzy surf-guitar in "I Climb (Up Its Tree)" to • the Fugazi-esque anthems of "Get Tangled," and uses loads of extra instrumentation, but keeps a firm grasp on basic rock 'n' roll. This unrelenting approach seems to propel the band forward; weak spots are few and far between on this 13-song collection. It's a powerful recording for a band known best for its live shows. Your chance to check them out comes this Thursday at Club Metronome. Chin Ho! open. —Jeff Fuccillo

Vermont Like You've Never Seen Befor LAND-SCAPES from Northern Cartographic

2 LARGE

WALL MAPS INI! Laminated on both sides

THE PERFECT MAP FOR School* Office Home* Dorm Room NORTHERN CARTOGRAPHIC'S MAP CENTER 4050 Williston Rd. • South Burlington • 000-2880 WIGGED OUT Keith Thompson has more aliases than a mobster — among them Kool Keith, Dr. Octagon, Dr. Doom and Dr. Ultra (on a Sprite commercial). And, of course, there's the "Black Elvis," which along with Lost in Space is the name of his latest CD. Known as a "rapper's rap-

59 percent of our readers say they have made a purchase because of an advertisement seen i n s e v e n d a y s

per" — and former lyrical frontman of New York's Ultramagnetic MCs — Kool Keith is a powerhouse producer as well. Expect trippy brew from this Bronx boy — at Higher Ground Thursday with DJ Spooky.

sOUnd AdviCe 1= V

<3TO

I IM G 0 ROUND

And we'll be square.

continued from page 27

MAGNET (alt/indie), Ethan Allen Lanes, Burlington, 8 p.m. $8. ONE WAY STREET (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. SUNDAY MASS (turncablism), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. LIVE MUSIC, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP NIGHT W/TOP HAT (DJ), Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. N C . RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. WORK (DJs KMs, Craig Mitchell, Frosty, Tricky Pat, Patti, Moonflower, Grasshopper & JSK; benefit for Outright Vermont), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $8/10. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. GARDEN OF EDEN FESTIVAL W/STRANGEFOLK, GORDON STONE BAND (jam rock), Addison Cty. Field Days, New Haven, amusement all day; music begins 4 p.m. $20 Sunday only. LOUIS FRANCO (acoustic folk), La Brioche, 11 a.m. NC. DERRICK SEMLER (acoustic blues), Capitol Grounds, 11 a.m. NC. RICK REDINGTON (acoustic rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

MONDAY

We'll be there.

ALLEY-CATS JAM W/NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NG. GOOD QUESTION (rock),

Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. GRIPP0 (funky jazz). Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SERVICE INDUSTRY NIGHT W/THE DETONATORS (blues/r&b; for restaurant, bar, hotel employees), Ri Ra, 10 p.m. N C with employee ID/$1. OPEN MIKE, Rasputin's, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow! Bella, 6 p.m. N C .

R e n t - a - G e e k

l-888-SOS-GEEK On-site PC, Mac & Network Support.

P I ^ X 1 h ? * 'jiSIP^; fllQ] E r ££ 2S3? I i f i Wit & i t tUmrZm • \1 rV-4 vjgg rilll g r f if

You get cash. Some weirdo gets a

198 College Street, Burlington • (802) 660-8150

TUESDAY

OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. Donations. HOUSE PARTY: DRAG BINGO W/LADY ZEN0, 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. N C , followed by ROB PSYCH0TR0PE (DJ), 10 p.m. NC. MARTIN & MITCHELL (soul DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. PAUL ASBEL, CLYDE STATS & JEFF SALISBURY (jazz), Leunig's, 8 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. JALAPEN0 BROS, (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall w/DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. DJ MEL0 GRANT (r&b/hiphop), Club 156, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE BETA BAND (Scottish alttrip-pop), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $10/12. LIVE FOLK MUSIC, Three Mountain Lodge, 6:30 p.m. NC. (?)

septejnbey^j

New Evening Shopping Shuttle! C C T A is running a F R E E Shopping Shuttle every Thursday from August 26th-September 16th* for all downtown residents. This Shopping Shuttle is sponsored by Price Chopper. *Shuttle will continue into October if ridership is high.

New Route and Schedule: 6:30pm: Cherry Street Station 6:33pm: 6:35pm: 6:38pm: 6:41pm: 6:45pm: 8:00pm:

Food Shelf, North Winooski Avenue Riverside Apartments Park Street King Street Drop off at Price Chopper, Shelburne Road Departs Price Chopper

C a n ' t take the bus? Call S S T A at 655-7880 for a ride! CHITTENDEN COUNTY TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY

Vermont Vouth Orchestra Association's

26th Rnnual

US€D INSTRUMENT SAl€ September 16, 17 & 18 St. Paul's Cathedral 2 Cherry Street, Burlington S61L6RS:

Please bring instruments to St. Paul's on Thursday, Sept. 16 from 9 am - 9 pm BUV6RS:

Friday, Sept. 17 from 4 pm - 8:30 pm & Saturday, Sept. 18 from 9 am - 1 pm For more information call the VYOfl oficeat

(802) 658-4708

..... .

...

steamboat phillie: Even if you don't believe in ghosts, the spirit of Philomene Daniels walks — and chugs — among us. At least, the world's first licensed female steamboat pilot will appear to reappear on Thursday, as incarnated by her great-great-granddaughter Jane Vincent. The Vermont native Daniels was licensed in 1887 after having piloted a boat on Lake Champlain for more than a decade. At the time, a woman at the helm was a rare sight indeed. Rather like a certain slippery sea monster. . . Thursday, September 2. Basin Harbor Club, Ferrisburgh, 7:30 p. m. Free. Info, 475-2022.

SPONSORS

Magic Hat Brewing • New England Foundation for the Arts • Vermont Expos - Vantage Press • Spirit of Ethan Allen II • Vermont Gas • Hermanos Productions • Vermont Tent Co.

SLM^RTLMG SPONSORS

Ake's Place • Burlington City Arts '-Borders Books & Music • Leonardo's Pizza • Best Western Windjammer Inn & Conference Center • Gateway Grill • Vermont International Film Foundation • Black Horse Fine Art Supply •Trinity College • Ethan Allen Lanes • Bell Atlantic • Vermont Transit • Sweetwaters • Hard Copy • Scrumptious • Veve Associates • Vermont Health Plan

LATIMO F E S T I V A L C O M M I T T F F

Betty Barnes, Josephine Caycedo, Maybeline Cobeo, Julie Corbett, Angel Court, Mercedita De Jesus, Lisette Deida, Sylvia Devine, Marta Esguilin, Jean-Paul Farineau, Laura Fishman, Karen Home, MariEllen Jewers, Diana Jones, Lisa Kiley, Julia Soto Lebentritt, Jeff Link, Eriberto Lopez, Maybeline Lopez, Tony Lopez, Hugo Martinez-Cazon, Alex McAdams, Oscar Morales, Mariita Portela, Nereida Quinones, Edinelson Ramirez, Marilyn Rivero, Roberto Santana, Armondo Soto, Alejandro Torrens, Gisela Veve, Sarah Volinsky, J o h n Wagner, Giovanna Yaranga

SPECIAL THANKS TO: Vermont's Latin Community, Pete's RV, Parlato Productions, Channel 17 CCTV, Church Street Marketplace, Photogarden, Shadow Productions, Burlington Department of Public Works, CocaCola, Mobil Short Stop, Ben & Jerry's, U.S.A.B.D.A., Michael Kiey, Rose McNulty, Catie Somers and countless others. •

Y O U D O N ' T N E E D V O O D O O TO F I N D THE RIGHT M A N (IT JUST FEELS LIKE IT S O M E TIMES)* Y O U NEED SEVEN D A Y S PERSONALS. IT'S I N THE B A < K OF THIS ISSUE*

ACV Vermont Alliance of Conservation Voters

presents

FALL FESTIVAL C O N C E R T & the disciples w,th friday, September 17, 9-11:30 p.m. shelburne farms coach barn tickets $10, must be purchased in advance tickets available at: Flynn Regional Box Office, UVM Campus Ticket Store, Copy-Ship-Fax-Plus, Essex Charge by phone 802.863.5966 As the nonpartisan political action arm of Vermont's environmental community, the Vermont Alliance of Conservation Voters (VACV) seeks to make environmental protection a top priority for elected officials, candidates and voters. Proceeds from this concert to benefit VACV.

page 4 0

- SEVEN- DAYS

~ September 4 * 4 9 9 9

USED • CLOSEOUT • NEW 6UMfrtN&

A Paint-Your-Own Pottery Studio

C*e/MZ.

SaMe30%on Moonstone down & primataftvesb&jackets All Belts Only $8 - buy 3 get 1 free! Hiking poles—$39/pr

& great coffee too! 119 College St. Burlington • 652-0102

Here's what's happenin' in September: 3rd & 17th C H E A P SEATS

- o w o

Skip t h e m o v i e s ! Paint f o r $l50/hr. 5 - 9 p m

5th & 19th

FAMILY DAY

9th & 23rd

LADIES NIGHT

M o m & D a d paint f o r kids' price! Ladies g e t 1 0 % off b i s q u e w a r e !

16th & 30th

STUDENT NIGHT 1 5 % off s t u d i o t i m e w i t h

B u r l i n g t q n ' s rban

S t o p in f o r a c o m p l e t e c a l e n d a r !

Scene

Web

???

Site

Don't forget - we do parties!

Classes every W e d n e s d a y -

call f o r details.

Burlington 131 Battery 660-5545

Waterfron

Waterfront Video has G O on Efe^w DVD

Middlebury Marble Works 388-2200

Welcome Back Students! UVMersi Don't forget our return drop boxes in Billings Student Center (UVM) and Lakeside Pharmacy (next to Pearl S t . Beverage) •••or take the F R E E College S t . Shuttle to the Waterfront

Ask About Mid-Week

nuuAM KATIE JA y S4R4H SCOTT

Our

Special

fkhtxer mwm% swim PQILEY WOLF

An edgy comedy about the misadventures of a group of young people in Los Angeles' raucous underground scene.

G O - f r o m the director of " s w i n g e r s

THE INTIMACV THAT FEBRUARY 25, 2000 London City Opera Mozart's The Magic Flute

— Restaurant

—

MARCH 3, 2000 Bimbetta O C T O B E R 15, 1999 International Guitar Night O C T O B E R 27, 1999 Carl Nielsen Philharmonic with Lilya Zilberstein, piano N O V E M B E R 3, 1999 Moscow City Ballet Cinderella N O V E M B E R 5, 1999 Boston Camerata with t h e Shakers of Sabbathday Lake N O V E M B E R 12, 1999 Alan Gampel, piano DECEMBER 12, 1999 "The Waits Wassail" J A N U A R Y 23, 2000 The Acting Company Shakespeare's Macbeth FEBRUARY 11, 2000 Ad Vielle Que Pourra

MARCH 1 5, 2000 Cambridge Bach Ensemble MARCH 1 7, 2000 Altan

Steaics

MARCH 22, 2000 Teatro Lirico D'Europa Puccini's Turandot

•

Vaster

Externum V&ge£ayiaMs Selections Beer • Wijw

MARCH 29, 2000 Edward Aldwell, piano APRIL 5, 2000 Keller Quartet

B r & O s l c f a s S t M-F

APRIL 11, 2000 Aquila Theatre in King Lear APRIL 12, 2000 Aquila Theatre in Oedipus The King

• Seafood

7-11,

S&&-11

•

L u / K s c h Men-Sat

•

11-5

D i n / t o w W(uL-Sa£

5-9

FOR DELIVERY CALL 865-FOOD T

APRIL 17, 2000 New York City Opera Rossini's Barber of Seville

FEBRUARY 16, 2000 Lydian String Ik Quartet Call the LANE SERIES for more information, a copy of our brochure, and great subscription rates.

GATEWAY GRILL'S

! SEPTEMBER SPECIAL!! WITH THE PURCHASE DINNER ENTRtE

cannot be combined with any other offer - available through 9/30/99 not available for takeout C O R N E R O F MAIN & BATTERY, BY T H E W A T E R F R O N T BURLINGTON, VERMONT

&QPl?mber,:l,MlS99

862-4930

itVEN. DAYS

Extended Service to Shaw's!

Calendar

Shaw's Supermarket has made special arrangements with CCTA to extend the Riverside/Winooski Route. Morning Schedule Cherry Street Champlain Mill 6:45am 6:54am 7:15am 7:24am 7:45am 7:54am Last bus departing Shaw's in morning: Afternoon Schedule Cherry Street Champlain Mill 3:15pm 3:27pm 3:45pm 3:57pm 4:15pm 4:27pm 4:45pm 4:57pm Last bus departing Shaw's in evening:

Shaw's 7:08am 7:38am 8:08am 8:38am Shaw's 3:43pm 4:13pm 4:43pm 5:13pm 5:43pm

Can't take the bus? Call S S T A at 655-7880 f o r a ride! CHITTENDEN COUNTY TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY

F^JESH

P i c k e d

Visit Historic Essex, New York via the Charlotte-Essex Ferry Shopping • Dining • Docking Lodging • Antiques • Art Galleries Live Theatre All Within Walking Distance of the Essex Ferry Dock

VERMONT'S LARGEST SELECTION OF CERTIFIED ORGANIC PLANTS BEI^OTIFOL

Continued from page 38

O ^ H I I C

Natural fiber clothing • Herbal Bath Luxuries Hand Crafted Jewelry •Harmony Kingdom Collectables

••iM^-

LEEKS & CORN A/so Hot & Bell Peppers, Tomatoes, Mesc/un, Squash, Broccoli, Radishes, Beets, Col lards, Kale, SeaI I ions. Cauliflower, Garlic, U-Pick Herbs, Cut Flowers, bouquets... VISIT OUR FARMSTAND AND GREENHOUSE IN JERICHO Follow Barber Farm Road 1 mile from Rt. 117 (River Road), then 1000 feet up Schillhammer Road. Also at the Saturday Burlington Farmer's Market. Open 9-7weekdays & 10-6 weekends For information call899-5123

teer opportunities with W o m e n Helping Battered W o m e n . U V M Women's Center, 34 South Williams St., Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3131. QUILTERS G U I L D M E E T I N G : Guests are welcome at this gathering to patch together ideas for the warm-blanket weather ahead. Essex Alliance Church, Old Stage Rd., Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2160. OVEREATERS A N O N Y M O U S : Compulsive eaters weigh in on body image issues at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-8936. BATTERED W O M E N ' S S U P P O R T G R O U P : Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

8 Wednesday music

Main S t r e e t . Essex, NY . 1.800.898.6098 10am-5pm seven days

R.E.M.: Veteran rocker Patti Smith opens for the Georgia-born alternative group led by Michael Stipe. Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga, N.Y., 8:15 p.m. $17.50-37.50. Info, 518-587-3330.

dance LATIN D A N C E : It takes two to tango, but one is all you need to enjoy an evening of salsa, merengue and Argentina's signature step. Jazzercise, Williston, 711 p.m. $5. Info, 879-3998.

SBBABBBSB

drama ' T W E L F T H N I G H T ' : See September 2, 3 p.m. ' B A R R Y M O R E ' : See September 2. 'OLIVER' A U D I T I O N S : See September 4.

Improved Halfpipe and Terrain Park 3 New Gladed Trails Total: 115 Trails • 18 Lifts New Grooming Fleet 20% More Snowmaking

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. F I G U R E D R A W I N G : See September 1. O P E N P A I N T I N G : See September 1.

3 4 9 All-East Black Horse Fine Art Supply

Sunday River, ME Sugarloaf/USA, ME

50% Off Retail Prices!

As of September 1st:

Sketch Strathmore Recycled Sketch Pads Good Thru September 15th While Supplies Last (802)860-4972

">pag€L42 - SEVEN DAYS

Killington, V T

Mount Snow, V T Attitash Bear Peak, NH

• Knowledgable Service •And Much, Much More,

200 Main street, 2nd Floor

Sugarbush,VT

(800)790-2552

September 1, 1 9 9 9

449

Ski America

All the resorts in All-East plus The Canyons, Park City,UT; Steamboat, CO; Heavenly, CA.

Purchase on or before October 15 for Big Savings! Order online at www.sugarbush.com orcall8oo-53-SUGAR.

words POETRY READING: Burlington local Dick BatFace reads from his work "For Adult Weirdos Only." Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-0569.

kids S T O R Y T I M E : See September 7, 11 a.m. for ages 3-5. S T O R I E S : See September 1. 'TINY T O T S ' STORIES: See September 1.

Calendar

Invited

sport

Burlington's S o u t h E n d c e l e t r a t e s its

SENIOR WALKS: See September 1.

arts community with an evening

etc V E R M O N T STATE FAIR: See September 3. B L O O D DRAWING: See September 1. BRIDGE DAYS: See September 6. URBAN FORESTRY VOLUNTEERS: Branch O u t Burlington holds its monthly meeting to spruce up the city. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-8245. SPANISH POTLUCK: Practice your Spanish while dining on donated dishes at the College St. Congregational Church, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 652-0806. HOMEOWNERSHIP ORIENTATION: Potential buyers learn how to shop — and pay — for a home at the Burlington C o m m u n i t y Land Trust, 179 South Winooski Ave., 6 p.m. Free. Register, 660-0642. U N I T E D WAY K I C K O F F : Supporters and volunteers in the humanitarian organization kick off a new campaign with food and entertainment. Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 5:30-7 p.m. $6. Register, 864-7541. CREDIT COUNSELING, ? S E M I N A R : Learn how to get a grip on your finances at the Vermont Development Credit Union, 18 Pearl St., Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Register, 800660-5609 ext. 99. ATTENTION DEFICIT M E E T I N G : Children and adults with this neurobiological disorder find support and information at the Austin Auditorium, Fletcher Allen Health Care Center, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 651-7615. LAW W O R K S H O P : Local attorney Sandra Baird conducts a clinic on legal rights and family court. C o m m u n i t y Justice Center, Burlington, 2-4 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7155. (!) Calendar is written by Gwenn Garland. Classes are compiled by | Lucy Howe. All submissions are

SOUTH ART HOP

| edits for space and style. Send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. Or fax

802-865-1015.

Email:

Saturday, Sept. 1 1 t k Friday

• Free Limousine & Transportation • Silent Auction 5 - 1 1 p.m. • Juried Show & Reception — $ 4 entry fee, 8 - 11p.m. • Music hyBARBACOA • Refreshments hy Smokejacks and Red Square Saturday • Studio & Gallery hop 1 2 - 5 p.m.

For information, call 6 6 0 - 9 5 8 0

• Free Bus Transportation • Guided Tours for Groups and Families

Sponsored by the Pine Street Arts & Business Association and SEVEN DAYS Find Peace, Harmony & Happiness Through Mindfulness & Meditation

ThichNhatHanh

Jon Kabat-Zinn

O p of the world's foremost spiritual

Friday, Sept 24,7:00 PM UVM Patrick Gym TICKETS $ 1 5 STUDENTS UVM TICKET S T O R E FLYNN THEATRE

$10

656-3085 863-5966

Bestselling author and leading clinician in the field of mind/body healing talks about dealing with chronic pain and stress.

Tuesday, Sept 21,7:00 PM UVM Ira Allen Chapel -Frees, Open to the PublicSPONSORED BY: THE UNIVERSITY OF VERMONT CENTER FOR HEALTH & WELLBEING

Shambhala Meditation Center Presents A Weekend Program

DON'T RUNCRAWL T O BETTER HEALTH Everyone: Ohashiatsu courses are filled with insights into our daily lives, helping us gain a healthy perspective into how and why we move and react. Hands-on touch techniques, natural body movement, gentle exercises and meditations relieve stress and rejuvenate both giver and receiver. Healthcare Professionals: Learn a touch modality that focuses on the giver ~ understand how to "save your own body? while reducing Stress from muscle and.., skeletal exertion. Your clients will notice a difference in your toucl^ and will experience a deeper state of relaxation and healing. Instructor certification available. -

FREE INTRODUCTORY WORKSHOP r-.» -T-. .r. r^ rrn-rI PM. SATURDAY. SEPT I I M

Q g OHASHIATSU® KifiS Touch for peace

j p Crawling, the most natural of movements, helps move Ki energy, reduces lower back pain and keeps the giver in balance.

Wellness Center, 50 Court St. (across from the Sunoco station) Middlebury, Vermont

Diedre A. Seeley, COI For more information or to register, call 800-810-4190

ART FAIR

AT T H E

STATION

SHAMBHALA TRAINING — LEVEL I:

The Art of Being Human Introductory Talk — O p e n to All Friday, September 10 th 7:30 p m — F r e e

Saturday, Sept. II • 11-6 pm

Weekend Program consists of talks, meditation instruction, discussions Saturday, S e p t e m b e r 11 t h 9 a m - 6 p m Sunday, S e p t e m b e r 12 t h 9 a m - 5 p m Cost for the weekend: $80 (Members: $60)

at Onion Station on the waterfront One Main Street, Burlington, Vermont

'The discovery of magic can happen only when we transcend our embarrassment about being alive, when we have the bravery to proclaim the goodness and dignity of human life, without either hesitation or arrogance." -Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche,

A u t h o r of Shambhala: Sacred Path of the Warrior

Over 30 Juried Vermont Artisans

ART - MUSIC - FOOD - KIDS' ACTIVITY Sponsored by local businesses to support ARTSPACC and ART'S ALIVE!, two nonprofit agencies promoting Vermont Arts ARTIST'S MEDIUM - BURLINGTON (ITY ARTS - CHAMPION JOGBRA - CHURCH & MAPLE GLASS STUDIO - DAVID'S FRAME SHOP - GATEWAY CAFE - LIGHT-WORKS INC. - MAGIC HAT - MAIN STREET LANDING CO. - MESA INTERNATIONAL - MONA'S RESTAURANT - PACIFIC RIM - PHOTOGARDEN - PIER ONE IMPORTS - VERMONT PURE NATURAL SPRING WATER

For m o r e i n f o r m a t i o n , call 899-4878

_Saj s°» saw it in

Shambhala Meditation Center 187 South Winooski Ave.

: sevenday@together.net

Friday, Sept. l O t k

• Studio & Gallery hop 5 - 9 p.m.

I due in writing on the Thursday j before publication. SEVEN DAYS

of O p e n Studios & G a l l e r i e s !

* SEVEN DAYS

Burlington, Vermont 05401

or email: nirsam@together.net

September 1 , 1 9 9 9 ttttei

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SEVEN DAYS U A U R3V3C

page

VERMONT

CRAFT

STATE

CENTERS

paintings with impact 73 Church St. (next to Hoots) Burlington ri-Sun 12-5

ART FOR EVERYDAY LIVING E x h i b i t i n g t h e w o r k of o v e r 2 5 0 of V e r m o n t ' s finest a r t i s a n s . This u n i q u e c o l l e c t i o n includes c o n t e m p o r a r y a n d t r a d i t i o n a l V e r m o n t craft.

FROG HOLLOW BURLINGTON 863-6453

MIDDLEBURY 388-3177

MANCHESTER 362-3321

www.froghollow.org

WATER WORKS

Everyone who

lives near Lake Champlain has its views and sunsets etched in their minds. Photographers prefer to preserve them on paper. This week at the Lake Champlain Maritime Museum in Vergennes you can dive in one rectangle at a time, at an exhibit of juried entries to the museums annual lakeinspired photo contest. "Lake Champlain: Through the Lens" continues through September 6. Pictured, "Morning Line Up," by Robert Tepper, a first-place winner in the Amateur, Color, Boats category and also chosen as Best of Show, Amateur Division. Fred Stetson took top prize in the pro division.

openings

Up to 30x40, Metal frame in Silver, Gold, Contrast Grey, or Matte Black. Includes dry mounting, dear picture glass, and assembly.

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The Fine Art Frameshop

1 1 , ^ ! 2069 Williston Road • South Burlington 802*860* 1 81 1 • 1*888*533*4000 ">pag€L44-SEVEN DAYS

September 1, 1 9 9 9

FIRST FRIDAY ART TROLLEY, a free ride to six gallery spaces around downtown Burlington, 865-7166. Departs from front of Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts. September 3, 5-8 p.m. LIFE PIECES: Fifteen Years of Collected Work, paintings by Barbara Smail. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Reception September 3, 5-7 p.m. PURE FORMS, hand-painted photographs by Susan Fenton, and WEST AFRICAN RHYTHM, paintings by Katharine Montstream. DollAnstadt Gallery, Burlington, 8643661. Reception September 3, 6-8 p.m., with music and dance by Jeh Kulu. THE CARVED SERIES, sculptural jewelry in anodized aluminum by Peggy Eng; and NEW MEXICO COLORS, paintings by Will Hurd. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Reception September 3, 5-8 p.m. MONTPELIER GALLERY WALK, a self-guided walking tour of 10 art galleries and other sites around downtown Montpelier, 229-2766. September 3, 5-7 p.m. ANIMAL ART: Cat & Dog Portraits, paintings by Anne Davis. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 229-0522. Reception September 3, 5-7 p.m. WOOD & LINOLEUM PRINTS by Phil Robertson. City Hall Artists Showcase, Montpelier, 229-2766. Reception September 3, 5-7 p.m. CHRIST CHURCH COMMUNITY ARTS, a group show of pastel landscapes, still lifes, jewelry and spiritually inspired art by parishioners and friends. Sacred Space Gallery, Christ Church Episcopal, Montpelier, 2233631. Reception September 3, 5-7 p.m. FINE ART FLEA MART, featuring artists in the alley next to Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Every Saturday, 1-5 p.m.

weekly

THE CLOWN SHOW, works in mixed media by local artists, including Mr. Masterpiece, Lance Richbourg, Catherine Hall, Jennifer Koch, Greg Blasdel, Tony Sini and others. Red Square, Burlington, 862-3779. Reception September 4, 3-5 p.m. " INHALATION/EXHALATION, photography and mixed media by Alison Crouse. L/L Gallery, Living.Learning Center, UVM, Burlington, 656-4200. Reception September 7, 5:30 p.m. STRUGGLE FOR THE LAND, photographs from Nicaragua and Chiapas by Orin Langelle, sales to benefit Action for Community and Ecology in the Rainforests of Central America (ACERCA). Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-0571. Reception September 8, 7-9 p.m.

ongoing

BURLINGTON AREA

CARAVAN CURATORS EXHIBITION, a group show of local artists in mixed media. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 660-9060. Through September. SISTERS AND OTHER PLACES, drawings and paintings by Sophie Quest. Muddy Waters, Burlington, 658-0466. Through September. AUTUMN AT THE OLD MILL, a show and sale in mixed media by members of the Northern Vermont Artist Association. Red Mill Craft Shop, Jericho, 899-1106. September 4 October 30. TREES AND A FEW OTHER THINGS, paintings by Jean Cannon. Daily Planet Restaurant, Burlington, 8629978. Through September. SUMMERTIME, new paintings by Anna Vreman. Dorothy Ailing Memorial Library, Williston, 8784918. Through September. 5TH ANNUAL MARINE PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBIT featuring the blackand-white and color photographs with a lake theme, by area shooters. Lake Champlain Maritime Museum,

listings

Vergennes, 475-2022. Through September 6. ELDER ART, paintings in various media by senior citizens. South Burlington Public Library, 658-7454. Through September 8. NATURE AS I SEE IT, photographs of landscapes, flowers and other natural subjects by Arlene Hanson. Isabel's Restaurant, Burlington, 2296361. Through September. SUMMER PONDS and Other Vermont Scenes, handmade prints by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through September 15. FISH ART, mixed-media by Louis Richard Dvorak. Working Design Gallery at the Men's Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Through September. SMILING DEVILS, HUMMINGBIRDS, WHISKEY DRINKERS, GAMBLERS, box constructions, photographs and drawings from Gregg Blasdel, Nadine Galland, Jennifer Koch and Lance Richbourg. Sneakers Bar & Grill, Winooski, 655-9081. Through September. AN INTIMATE VIEW, handcolored photographs by Victoria Blewer. Frog Hollow Craft Center, Burlington, 863-6458. Through September 14. THREE EYES, photography by Heidi Glesmann, Matthew Levin and Jesse Loomis. McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 6542000. Through September 5. SUMMER PONDS & OTHER VERMONT SCENES, handmade prints by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through September 15. PETRIA MITCHELL, recent paintings. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through September 7. ART IN CONTEXT: THE FIRST WORLD WAR 1914-1918, an exploration of the architecture of commemoration, with photographs by William Lipke of selected monuments and memorials. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through October 10.

w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

GERRIT GOLLNER, abstract paintings and prints. Farrell Rm., St. Michael's College, Colchester, 654-2487. Through December. KID STUFF: Great Toys From Our Childhood. A new exhibit of intergenerational playthings from the last half-century. Shelburne Museum, 985-3348. Through October 17. IMPROVISATIONS/INCANTATIONS: Paintings and Works on Paper, by Lois Eby. Flynn Theatre Gallery Space, Burlington, 652-4500. Through September 6. DONALD MITCHELL, a self-taught artist from California, joins works by Inez Walker, Gayleen Aiken and others. Webb & Parsons, Burlington, 658-5123, by appointment only. Through September 7.

champlain valley-..

THOMAS JEFFERSON IN VERMONT, and His Role in Vermont Statehood, 1791, featuring documents and artifacts from the period of Jefferson's visit to Vermont. State House, Montpelier, 828-2291. Through October 16. ALICE ECKLES, a permanent changing exhibit of selected paintings and prints. The Old School House Common, Marshfield, 456-8993. Ongoing. TERRY LUND & BRENT MARTIN, oil paintings. The Art Gallery of Barre, 476-1030. Through September. SILKSCREEN PRINTS by Sally Stetson. Shimmering Glass Gallery, Waterbury, 244-8134. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing. FURNISHINGS AND PAINTINGS by Ruth Pope. Ruth Pope Gallery, Montpelier, 229-5899. Ongoing.

ANNA FUGURA & ELIZABETH ROMAN, mixed-media collage and pottery, respectively Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild Gallery, Rt. 7, 8773668. Through September. DANCING WITH NO SHOES, paintJEAN KERR-LEWIS & SHARYN LAYings and monoprints by Arista FIELD, new pastel paintings. Woody's Alanis. Red Mill Gallery, Vermont Restaurant, Middlebury, 453-5603. Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. Through October. Through September 5. VISIONS OF OTTER CREEK, works in THE PAINT TRAVELER, paintings mixed media featuring views of the from a picture book for grown-ups, Middlebury falls area. Frog Hollow by Carol Rosalinde Drury. Copley Vermont State Craft Center, MiddleGallery, Morrisville, 253-8571. bury, 388-3177. Through September Through September 27. 13. MARIE LA PRE'GRABON, new work. TRAMP ART, an exhibit of carved Composting Exhibition Space, crafts, historic and new, made from Hardwick, 472-9613. Through found or scrap wood. Vermont September 3. Folklife Center, Middlebury, 3884964. Through September 4. SUSAN ABBOTT, watercolor still WEAVING TRADITION INTO A lifes. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253CHANGING WORLD: 200 Years of 7116. Through September 26. Abenaki Basketry, featuring a variety LAND & LIGHT, featuring the works of baskets from the Northeast. of more than 50 landscape painters. Chimney Point State Historic Site, Mary Bryan Memorial Gallery, Addison, 759-2412. Through Jeffersonville, 644-5100. Through October; 1 \. Jx j ?..: . : \ ^ October 26. > : . ..;., ,r. SCULPTUREFEST99: Art Beyond OUTDOOR SCULPTURE EXHIBIT, Object, 12 site-specific outdoor featuring works in mixed media by sculptures being created on the 16 artists. Helen Day Art Center, grounds by invited sculptors Frank Stowe, 253-8358. Through October Anjo, Carlos Dorrien, Jeff Feld, Sean 17. Folley, Anthony Cafritz and Stephan PAINTINGS BY VERA FYFE, Copley Fowlkes. Carving Studio and Woodlands, Stowe, 253-4203. Sculpture Center, W. Rutland, 438Through September. 2097. Through October 17. BREAD & PUPPET masks, puppets and other artifacts from four decades. Bread & Puppet Museum, Glover, 525-6972. Through FOR THE DINNER TABLE, platters, October. place settings, sreving pieces and table accessories by 25 regional clay 19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERIartists. Vermont Clay Studio, CAN ARTISTS, including landscape Waterbury Ctr., 244-1126. Through paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, October 15. Cynthia Price and more. Clarke PRIA CAMBI0, original paintings. Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Capitol Grounds, Montpelier, 223Ongoing. 7800. Through September. A COUNTRY OF SOULS: Reflections on New England Gravesites, featuring the works in mixed media of JIM DINE: THE ARTIST IN RESIJoan Curtis, Kerstin Nichols, DENCE, a selection of the artist's Carolyn Shattuck and R.G. Solbert; prints from the collection of master and, STATES OF GRACE, featuring highlights from 25 years of the Grace printer Mitchell Friedman. Hood Roots Art and Community Efforts Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, project. T.W. Wood Gallery, MontHanover, N.H., 603-646-2809. pelier, 828-8743. Both through OctThrough September 21. ober 3. RELIGION, MYTH AND FANCY, TEMPTATION AND DENIAL, featura selection from the permanent collec- ing two 19th-century symbolist print tion. Through December 24. series by Odilon Redon and Max YURI GORBACHEV, and other local Klinger. Hood Museum of Art, or international artists in a group Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., show of mixed media. Kristal 603-646-2809. Also, FOCUS ON THE Gallery, Warren, 496-6767. Through BODY, West African Body October. Ornaments of Brass. Both through September 19. ® MITCHEL M0RASKI & PAUL ROGERS, photography. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 244-7568. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is Through September 13. unable to accommodate all of the disFRESH AIR, oil and pastel landscapes plays in our readership area, thus these by Jan Ghiringhelli, and ANOTHER listings must be restricted to exhibits in BODY OF WORK, figurative paintings truly public viewing places. Art in by PriaCambio. City Center, Montbusiness offices, lobbies and private respelier, 229-2766. Through Septemidences or studios, with occasional ber 5. < exceptions, will not be accepted.

CENTRAL VERMONT

ELSEWHERE

in Pastel

B Y M A R C AWODEY

ictoria Blewer's photographic works recall much earlier times. "An Intimate View," currently on view at Frog Hollow Craft Center in Burlington, is a strong collection of 45 handcolored prints tinted with photo oils — a laborious process that predates color film. But Blewer's repertoire of classical compositions, tranquil hues and an astute intermingling of nostalgia for "then" and the presence of "now" is what gives these works their timelessness.

greens of a cloudy April dawn. Blewer has painted hints of reddish brown on the most distant wall of trees to bolster the pale greens with a glimmer of complementary color. Among the photographer's many ocean horizons, "Cooling O f f " is the most minimal. T h e top two^thirds of the vertical piece are nothing but empty sky with a pink cast. Several photos are dominated by just such a lilac firmament, giving Blewer's works the surreality of Mars. T h e lower third of the piece is a

Several themes emerge in this exhibit: sparse floral pieces; expansive mountain vistas; steeply converging lines of linear perspective; and, conversely, broad horizons populated by small architectural details. Blewer relies on just a few structural variations and keeps her "Spring Break," by Victoria Blewer pale blue, mauve, pink, misty green and flaxen yellow tonalities con- gently rippled pale turquoise in which a few distant children sistent throughout. Within bob on a moored raft and swim these design parameters she crein delicate inner tubes. ates colored photographs of exacting craftsmanship. At the off-centered vanish-

Another piece with a vast sky and low horizon line is

trays a colorful row of yurtshaped structures along a crest of beach. Their light blue roofs with odd yellow points on top make them stand out against a smoky, purple sky. Purple also plays an important role in the foreground, where a semicircle of purple shrubs is surrounded by yellow-green stalks of beach grass. "Beach Club Cabins" has some of the most interesting uses of color within Blewer's familiar, confined compositions. "Swimming Hole," on the other hand, has very subdued

colors in one of her most complex works. Like a faded Maxfield Parrish print, "Swimming Hole" is a layered composition centered around a waterfall, with bathers at a

r in astute intermingling of

nostalgia for "then" and the resence of "now" is what gives these works their IJIHMIJM] ess. ing point of "Morning Walk," a tall Italian cypress stands at the end of a path lined with small, budded deciduous trees. While the left side of the piece is a tangled mass of limbs, the right allows a horizon of hedgerows to be seen between the steeply angled, receding row of foreground trunks and branches. T h e path itself is a sandy color, and the lawn beneath the trees has the frosty, washed-out

"Vermont Farmhouse." Ironically, this manner of domestic depiction was pioneered by the ultimate flatlanders — Dutch painters of the 17th century. Blewer allows a faded rise of distant mountains to appear while maintaining the basic spirit of the genre: realism that keeps one eye on heaven and one eye on the turnip Fields. "Beach Club Cabins" por-

small pond surrounded by low cliffs and nestled in a forest. T h e p o n d makes for a silvery foreground full of reflections, and the blue sky is a triangle of space between trees on either side of the pond. T h e sky points toward the waterfall; the trees on either side are lush and tenebrous.

As she often does, Blewer has darkened the corners of this photograph to pull the viewer further into it. T h e figures here are older children — one j u m p i n g from the rock face at left while his comrade looks on, a few congregated near the waterfall, another barely visible in the shadow of the cliffs. As in all Blewer's works, the Figures in "Swimming Hole" seem almost incidental. Here as elsewhere, the product of her lens is more interesting for the method than the subject itself.

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"An Intimate View," hand-colored photographs by Victoria Blewer. Frog Holiow Craft Center, Burlington. Through September 14. September 1 , 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

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VIDEO WORLD

LOST IN HOLLYWOOD Even with help from friends like Martin Scorsese, Albert Brooks just can't seem to make them like he used to.

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THE MUSE*** We all love Albert Brooks, right? So lets just say his best years are either behind him or ahead of him now. Any way you slice it, these aren't them. T h e filmmaker's come a long way since 1985's brilliant Lost inAmeria, and it has been all downhill. Defending Your Life, Mother and now this. It used to be fashionable to bemoan the infrequency with which Brooks made films. These days it's his films that are bemoaned.

haven't seen in the past (the past two weeks, in fact), the picture's take on Tinsletown back-stabbing, egomania, fickleness and systematic plagiarism does retain a bit of the old Brooks bite. His scenes with an insufferable young studio exec, for example, are nearly as much f u n as those shared by Howard Stern and the station manager who tried to drive him out of radio by making him practice saying the company call letters all day in Private Parts.

The Muse is a tepid, pokey and confused blend of fairy tale and showbiz satire. Brooks plays a washed-up screenwriter in search of a career-saving miracle. O n the advice of his wife (Andie. MacDowell), he asks a close friend for the secret of his success and is introduced to a mysterious beauty w h o claims to be the daughter of Zeus and one of the nine muses.

T h e cameos by Rob Reiner, Martin Scorsese and James Cameron (all seeking Stones counsel, too) are entertaining to some degree, though certainly not as much as they might have been if they hadn't been shown on T V so much already. O n every other level, though, watching this movie is like driving down a highway through the desert — long stretches of nothingness interrupted by fleeting diversions. Several subplots plod and end up nowhere terribly special. T h e twist at the end is a surprise, but only because it feels so pointless and out of place.

884-0151 mm mm nm mm M Your *Complete Video Specialists! Grand Opening Sain -This Weekend! All 3 Burlington area Video World Superstores! Wt'ro Celebrating the Opening of Our Nonr Superstore location! at the Essex Junction Shopping Cantor It's Bigger!, Better!, with Mora Movies! and Mora Parking!

Sharon Stone plays her as part goddess and part ditsy, gold-digging princess. She has her latest client set her up in a $1700-a-day suite at T h e Four Seasons, hire her a limo and keep her in baubles from Tiffany's and pricey health foods. Every now and then she spends a little quality time with him, occasionally making off-hand remarks and observations, which Brooks then seizes upon and incorporates into a new script — a summer comedy in which Jim Carrey inherits a run-down aquarium filled with sick fish.

"...and now Planned Parenthood takes my insurance." The women at Planned Parenthood treat you like a person; not a number. So when it's time for your annual exam, remember that one in four American women count on Planned Parenthood for care. You should too. And we now welcome most insurance plans, including Kaiser Permanente, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of VT, MVP, T h e V T Health Plan, Northeast Direct, Cigna, CBA and Medicaid. Keep your N e w Year's resolution to take good care of yourself. Make an appointment today.

Planned Parenthood"

1-800-230-PLAN ">pag€L45-SEVEN

DAYS

FIMSRUN FRIDAY,

WELCOME

showtimes

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4

All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. * Indicates new film.

NICKELODEON CINEMAS College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. The Muse 1:40, 3:40, 7, 9:10. This Is My Father 4, 8:50. Mickey Blue Eyes 1:50, 6:40. Sixth Sense 1:20, 3:30, 5, 7:10, 9:40. The Thomas Crown Affair 1:30, 3:50, 6:30, 9. The Blair Witch Project 1:10, 3, 5, 7:20, 9:50. All shows Fri.-Mon., first matinee not Tues.-Thurs.

CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 Chill Factor* 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7:10, 9:40. Blair Witch Project 10. Dudley Do Right 12:20, 2:40, 5. The 13th Warrior 12:05, 2:25, 4:45. 7:15, 9:45. Mickey Blue Eyes 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7, 9:50. Sixth Sense 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:30. Teaching Mrs. Tingle 7:05, 9:25. Bowfinger 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:20, 9:55. Runaway Bride 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:35. Inspector Gadget 12:25, 2:45, 5, 7. Star Wars: Phantom Menace 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:20.

September 1, 1999

listings

North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. South Park 4, 9. Wild Wild West 12, 2:30, 7. Lake Placid 4:30, 9:30. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me 4:45, 9:45. Taizan 12, 2, 6:45. Big Daddy 12:15, 2:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:15. American Pie 12:30, 2:45, 7:30. Eve shows daily, matinees Sat-Sun.

BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4 Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293. Chill Factor* 1:20, 3:40, 7, 9:15. The 13th Warrior 1:40, 3:50, 6:40, 9. Mickey Blue Eyes 7:10, 9:20. Sixth Sense 1:10, 3:30, 6:50, 9:10. The Iron Giant 1:30, 3:20, 5. Eve shows daily, matinees Sat-Sun.

THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. The Red Violin 6:30, 8:50.

SUNSET DRIVE-IN CAPITOL THEATRE

Colchester, 862-1800. 93 State Street, Montpelier,

229-0343.

PARAMOUNT THEATRE

241 North Main Street, Barre,

479-9621.

Williston Road, S. Burlington, 8634494. Chill Factor* 1:10, 3:40, 6:50, 9:40. The Astronaut's Wife 6:40, 9:15. The 13th Warrior 1:15, 3:45, 7, 9:30. A Dog of Flanders 1:30, 4. Bowfinger 1:20, 3:50, 7; 10, 9:35. Runaway Bride 1, 3:30, 6:45, 9:20. All shows Sat.-Mon., first matinee not Fri., eve shows Tues-Wed.

weekly

Albert Brooks has always mined comedy in his own imperfection. Intentionally or not, he's tapped into something more tragic this time. ®

SEPTEMBER 3 - THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 9

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5

of Northern New England

INSURANCE/MEDICAID

O n one level, The Muse is, well, mildly amusing. While the glimpse the writer-director gives us of behind-the-scenes Hollywood is nothing we

There are a lot of famous faces here. Famous places, too, like the instantly familiar Paramount lot. And, given the subject matter, there is no shortage of targets deserving satirical barbs. What's missing, ironically, is the very thing Brooks' hack chases so desperately: inspiration.

STOWE CINEMA

Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678.

M A D R I V E R F L I C K Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200.

MARQUIS THEATER

Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841.

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Retro

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Looking for a kitschy commode? The Blue Flamingo flew north

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to understand how quickly your memories become someone else's antiques. Rue Amherst runs parallel to and four blocks east of Rue StDenis. The street is being "discovered" as the adjacent gay resi-' dential neighborhood, the Village, bursts its seams and encompasses more territory north of Ste-Catherine. A handful of small but smart cafes, bristling with chic halogen lighting, has moved in. Even the shabby, dirtcheap Vietnamese restaurant is putting in fresh sheetrock and linen tablecloths. The more visible change, however, is the development of Amherst as a destination shopping area by a new breed of home decor taste makers. And what fun they offer, even to the afternoon browser. Start at Ste-Catherine and work your way north. T h e first place you'll find is also one of the most stylish: Sauriol, at 1691 Amherst. Proprietor Eric Sauriol has two locations and, like most of the other shop owners, has warehouses full of his collections. This Amherst storefront is actually set up like a new furniture showroom. Small living room and dining room displays create a cozy, charming feel to the place, unified by a chrome, orange, black and white color scheme. Sauriol explains the popularity of retro styles by telling us that tastes run in 40-year cycles. Moreover, as the century comes

to a close, all things retro take on a new cachet. Sentimentality, he says, can't explain the current,^' popularity, however: The majority of buyers for his '60s and early '70s furniture and decor weren't even born when it was produced. Continuing north two blocks to the corner of Rue Robin,

there is more than furniture here, including a wall of those great chrome citrus juicers and a col- •••' lection of martini paraphernalia. Beautiful molded-plywood Eames-type chairs, too. Retro-Stop at 1851 Amherst feels and looks like the movie lot warehouse for set designers. A

coffee tables with built-in lamps. (Remember: T h e 1950s were the decade Ronald Reagan traveled the U.S. hawking for General Electric, selling our nation on the idea of unlimited electricity.) Phil'Z is a mess, with stuff piled on stuff and narrow paths winding through the towers of

The majority of buyers for his '60s and early 70s furniture and decor weren't even born when it was produce you'll arrive at the store-with-noname at 1751 Amherst. Only the words Vente-Achat-Location, translated "sell-buy-rent," adorn the storefront. Enter and note that the very carefully selected items, all in perfect condition, have no prices on their tags — only a cryptic code resembling a museum cataloguing system. All I can think of is my dad's warning that, if you have to ask, it costs too much. It's worth peeking in, however, to see the stunning collection of pop-art mirrors. A couple of interloping 19thcentury antique stores also occupy this block, but a few doors later you'll arrive at Cite Decor at 1761. As the name promises,

half-century of stuff is casually displayed in the two-room storefront: old cameras, barber chairs, cigarette cases, picture frames, lamps, odds and ends and — flashback! — my old stainless steel and red vinyl high chair, circa 1958! I am almost overcome by some heavy deja-vu. Retro-Stop specializes in furniture of brushed metals, but also has the obligatory Naugahyde and fiberglass. There's one word to summarize Phil'Z at 1903, and that's lampz. And dealz. Chrome, ceramic, frosted glass, leatherstitched shades, swooping chrome constructions with sputnik globes, torchieres and — the pieces de resistance— Formica

lampshades. His additional space across the street holds larger vintage pieces, including beds, mirrors and sofas. My advice is to wear a helmet with headlamp and have a great time exploring. But I've saved the best 'til last. Where Amherst meets Rue Ontario, turn left, cross Ontario and visit Jack s at 1023 Rue Ontario Est. A beautifully arranged, immaculately clean, cheery and friendly place, Jacks is like a museum. There's so much orange the place fairly glows. With Ella Fitzgerald quietly singing in the background, guests are encouraged to peruse displays of vases, lamps, dressers, matched dinette and bedroom sets, ancient Philco television

sets, a luggage set in orange vinyl and enough teak to fill a rainforest — or should I say empty a rainforest? ,'•* When I comment on how very orange the place was, the sweet young salesman, struggling with his English, confides that Jack's is the busiest of the shops because it is the most friendly, the most inviting. The others, he whispers, are a little coarse, a little cold. I almost ask where I should sit while he mixed up a couple of Manhattans. O n the way out, I step back to view the display windows, one in chrome and fiberglass, all black, white and silver, arrayed with tiny, flickering televisions. The other window offers a dining room display, in warmer tones of teak and brown, with bronze and wood lamps and a cunning teak ice bucket. This is better than going home again, I think. Mom's taste was never this good. ® According to U.S. Customs, new or used furniture, regardless of country of origin, is duty-free. Anything else visibly marked "Made in Canada" or "Made in U.S." is also exempt. Other goods, even used goods, may be subject to duty. You only pay duty for the cost over your personal exemption if you are out of the country-24 or 48 hours. If you are considering a major purchase, stop at U.S. Customs on your way out of the country for details.

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aint Sebastian was a loyal Roman soldier despite his tendency to preach Christianity — a practice the emperor Diocletian could not tolerate and so ordered Sebastian shot to death with arrows. Sebastian survived this death sentence, but was eventually cudgeled by Diocletian's men. His body was buried in a garden along the Appian Way dug up, divided and dispersed throughout Europe. His head remains in Luxembourg.

Sebastian's body, riddled with arrow wounds, has been a popular subject of" European art ever since. Artists as dissimilar as Raphael and Schiele have painted the saint, pierced and holed. His body's metaphor is particularly interesting now when so many people are voluntarily perforating themselves. T h e trend recognizes the link between surface wounds and depth. In his new collection of poetry, Telegrams from the Psych Ward, Burlington writer Marc Awodey works the same vein. He reminds us of the corporeal's importance and how, any time a surface is punctured, the hidden is exposed. This piercing, that brings the inside out, aids in understanding Awodey s poetry. Throughout this collection, he explores the ambiguous relationship of inner to outer, drawing, then erasing the borders through poignant juxtapositions. Dark and light, sane and insane, Canada and the U.S., past and present, diluvial and dry This dichotomizing appears even in the two opening epigraphs — one a stoic description of lyric poetry from a 1913 textbook and the other a quote from Jean Cocteau that reads, "Victor Hugo was a madman who thought he was Victor Hugo." After an opening epigraphlike stanza that details a bruised pastoral scene of the end of Eden, the title poem reads,

It is too windy to sit in sunlight. Saplings would go indoors if they could. Birds cannot manage. No one strolls the green this afternoon. Cirrus words rush as if trying to elude collapsing walls. All that has come, will fall from the sphere fruits of the World ripen sooner each year in measures beyond comprehension; in measures of failed immolation. Awodey gently teaches the reader how to approach and prepare for a broader comprehension of the deeper relationships between form and image: The psych-ward setting, a world in constant collapse that questions what is container and what is contained, and the notion of insanity as a wound that exposes the hidden. These are apparent in passages such as: Father sat seized like The Thinker at foot of his daughter's bed. Mother watched wretchedly alone a few feet away from her result. I caught them from a hallway while returning to my room, I accidentally looked in in an abrupt pebble of a glance Awodey's words transport the reader to a position of stability amid instability. That is, he introduces the reader to his idea of revolution that encapsulates both meanings: battle and cycle. Themes return altered, perennial images resurface diluted and eroded by the submersion in Awodey's watery world. "Let ego

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"I was instantly mesmerized..." — Mike Gordon, Phish lap," is one refrain in his title poem. It establishes the littoral stage for the poems that follow — the shoreline where opposing ambiguities exist simultaneously. Water is everywhere in Telegrams &nd, as in T.S. Eliot's "The Wasteland," there is no redemption despite so much water. But unlike in Eliot, there is no need for redemption. Awodey draws from a tradition outside the black-and-white of Christianity. Instead he deals with the paradox that allows destruction to be a simultaneous creation, that allows a wound to be beneficial. T h e 17 poems comprising this collection are culled from 'Awodey's independently published "booklettes," which are available throughout New England in his poetry vending machines — reclaimed cigarette and tampon dispensers. T h e movement of his poems from dispersed to collected and back again mimics the same shifting borders that cross notions of surface and skin. His poems simultaneously hold up place and state of mind and spin the distinction into a blur until there is no distinction at all. For example, Awodey sets his poem "Quebec" on the snowy "Plains of Abraham," where mud, deer and maples exist alongside cars and street lights. But from this surface erupts "New France" and the French and British generals of the Battle of Quebec, "Montcalm and Wolfe" — the place's past. This poem that harbors both past and present rewards readers by allowing them to become unhinged from reality or corporeality to a corpor-unreality. It has the illusion of solidity yet slips loose from a linear passage of time, arriving at the closing stanza:

No one can say or conceive of what the next revolution may bring. Awodey toys with time and liberates language. This fooling and foiling with past and present is a suitable technique, as his

^Awodey's pc)etr v iiivok( everything from medie\ klvric to Celan's dark moodsl a o Lorca's deathward-leanng duende to Ginsberg's howl. poetry invokes everything from medieval lyric to Celan's dark moods to Lorca's deathward-leaning duende to Ginsberg's howl. Awodey's lovely poem, " T h e Poetry of Place," is presented in three parts: "Ruin," "A Majestic Girl" and "The Winooski Bridge." A confused weave makes a complex tapestry, challenging readers to pull disparate threads together. All three sections are condensed into one poem — a collection of oddities which selects three of the tiniest positions to represent a cosmos. This pointillism is beautiful, particularly as the three sections eventually create the portrait of a river. "Memoria" takes a similar approach, but allows an even greater distance between points. Skipping from a dusty childhood's "Nirvana of banana seats" to the Memphis of Isis and Osiris to the Memphis of Elvis to fish cleaning to the lunar landing, these poems cut a roomy swath for the reader. They permit wandering until the closing line, where Awodey focuses attention and demands his meaning: I saw the first gulls I had seen in months, while you were making love somewhere else. W h a t has come before in this poem — the ruminations, the portraits of place — now, in light its final line, resonate on an entirely different note. Secrets under a surface, whether it be water or "under the rose," abound in Awodey's work. "Shibboleth" says:

Finches' beaks are sharp as knives their shrill notes pierce warm days with ease.

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Between the crestfallen quivers of a few red, barnacled leaves — who will whisper the shibboleth of my name gone yellow, gone brown, once green? This final stanza can be viewed from all sides and still not yield its secret entirely, because it is hidden in the promise of new seasons and in the turn of language. Derived from the Hebrew, a shibboleth literally means either an ear of corn, a flood or a stream. T h e "sh" sound was impossible for the fugitive Ephraimites to pronounce, and so the word became the Gileadites' test to locate outsiders. This same sense of a hidden word is found in Awodey's poem, "This Lake Has N o Name," a haunting tribute to Lake Champlain where once again the secrets of the past, known only to the dead, are invoked. A shibboleth is a succinct metaphor for Awodey's poetry all together. These poems are the shibboleth that separates his broad knowledge of history and literature from that of the rest of us. His poetry is not for the lazy reader, but the curious one who is willing to reference a variety of traditions, styles and levels of meaning in piecing together their rich stories. ®

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SEVEN DAYS s e r v i n g

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Riot Gear continued from page 25

Look.

Listen.

Read

Coming September 15 The SEVEN DAYS Fall Performing Arts Preview How to find out what's happening.

The

Straight

Dear Cecil, Like all good parents, I mindlessly pass on cultural traditions to my kids and usually don't have a clue where they came from. We decorate a tree in December, hide colored eggs on Easter, and in October we dress up and carve pumpkins, and my kids tape up pictures of witches on broomsticks on the window. I've heard theories about some of these other things, but where did the "witches flying on broomsticks" thing come from? —fan Rein, Albuquerque, New Mexico You don't want to hear it, mom. Well, maybe you do want to hear it, but you don't want to tell the kids. As we've learned from our previous forays into folklore, most of these old rituals have something to do with S-E-

around, getting to know people, developing relationships, et cetera, so that if something does arise there will be a basis of trust." If a problem does come up, she adds, "We'll have someone familiar right there to help." Burlington has also decided to assign lockers, and provide the locks, to students this year. In the past, BHS students chose their own lockers and brought their own locks, which meant only they had access to their lockers — or knew where they were, for that matter. Regarding any searches, Mellencamp says, "I would always try to have the student present if there was an issue, as to some degree it's their private locker. But to a large extent it's school property still, and the needs of the majority have to take precedence here." After a hiatus of several years, home rooms have been reinstated at BHS, at the request of students and teachers and in spite of a scheduling challenge created by the school's "block" system of classes. The collective wisdom is that a home room provides some grounding for a student and reinforces a sense of community in the school. Mellencamp also emphasizes peer-support efforts. "You can't know all the issues students are facing," she says. "All we can do is be understanding, and be listening, as much as possible."

X. You thought Easter eggs and bunnies as fertility symbols was kinky? You ain't heard nothin' yet. The easy take on the witch's broomstick is that it's a burlesque of female domesticity. But you needn't have an especially dirty mind to realize that a woman riding a pole has sexual connotations — and not merely as a metaphor for the phallus. Before we get into that, though, we should talk about drugs and religion. Tolja this would be weird. A lot of people who did drugs in the '60s thought, Wow, man, I can see God! (Now they think, I better get my gun and head over to the post office.) A few writers had thoughts along the following lines: (a) We're not the first people who ever did drugs, (b) Many leading religious figures have been mystics, and mystical experiences have been a primary source of religious revelation, (c) A good way to have a mystical experience is to do drugs. (Forty days of fasting in the desert will do in a pinch.) (d) Ergo, many of the worlds major religions owe their origins to drugs! I'm oversimplifying, but not much. See for example Weston La Barre, "Hallucinogens and the Shamanic Origins of Religion," in Flesh of the Gods: The Ritual Use of Hallucinogens (1972). If drugs work for religious types, they'll work for pagans, too. That brings us back to witches. Today many scholars assume there never were any actual witches, just a bunch of old crones, simpleminded adolescents and other unfortunates who became targets of religious paranoia. But a few writers have asked: What if there really were witches? Not, I hasten to say, people who were genuinely in league with the devil, flew on broomsticks, turned into beasts, etc., but rather people who believed they were or did? Moreover, what if the agency of this belief was a drug-induced hallucination? There, in a nutshell, is the working hypothesis of Michael J. Harner's "The Role of Hallucinogenic Plants

Contrasting with this message promoting tolerance, however, are national reports of rising intolerance for kids who are eccentric, or merely solitary. In a May 1 New York Times article, media critic Jon Katz reports a "national witch hunt for the abnormal, where kids are basically being singled out if they're wearing trench coats, if they're called Goths, if they're on the Internet, if they play Quake and Doom." Katz also notes grim jokes made by students to a friend sitting alone: "Uh-oh, you're showing warning signs." That, of course, was not long after the Columbine shootings. But regardless of enhanced physical security at schools, students, teachers and administrators in Vermont and around the nation will continue to face a trenchant problem: How to include the kids — the geeks, the freaks, the nerds, the immigrants, the kids of different color, religion or sexual preference — who are left out. Against this, metal detectors and locker searches are useless. As Holcombe stresses, "All kids want to be useful, to be accepted, to feel they belong. And as school staff, we have to provide opportunities for that to happen." She adds, "Kids are constantly testing to see what the limits of civil behavior are in their environment. Our job is to be as clear as we can with them — to let them know what those limits are, and why they exist."®

in European Witchcraft" in Hallucinogens and Shamanism (1973). Harner notes that since antiquity many hallucinogenic plants have been known throughout the world, including some species of the potato family (family Solanaceae, genus Datura) such as jimsonweed, devils-weed, mad apple, etc., as well as potato cousins like mandrake, henbane and belladonna (deadly nightshade). Trolling through the works of medieval and Renaissance writers, Harner finds a number of instances in which witchy hallucinations follow a potent hit of drugs. How were these drugs administered? Typically in the form of an ointment. Where was this ointment applied? To the skin, of course, but more effectively to the mucous membranes. Where can one find mucous membranes? In the vagina, among other places. How would one apply ointment to one's vagina? Well, one can always count on one's fingers, I suppose. But you could also use, uh, a pole. And where might one find a pole in the average peasant household? A broomstick. Bingo. Harner buttresses his thesis with some choice quotes. From a witchcraft investigation in 1324: "In rifleing the closet of the ladie, they found a Pipe of oyntment, wherewith she greased a staffe, upon the which she ambled and galloped through thick and thin." Also this from around 1470: "But the vulgar believe, and the witches confess, that on certain days or nights they anoint a staff and ride on it to the appointed place or anoint themselves under the arms and in other hairy places." Scant underpinning for a mighty far-fetched theory, you may say, and I won't deny it. Still, gives you something to think about next time you're dressing your daughter for Halloween. — CECIL ADAMS

Ss there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at c e c i i @ c h i r e a d e r . c o m .

">pag€L54

SEVEN DAYS

September 1, 1 9 9 9

deadline: monday, 5 pm • phone 802.864.5684 • fax 802.865.1015 LINE ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25 words: 300 a word. Longer running ads are discounted. Ads must be prepaid. DISPLAY ADS: $13 per col. inch. Group buys for employment display ads are available with the Addison Independent, the St. Albans Messenger, the Milton Independent and the Essex Reporter. Call for more details. VISA and MASTERCARD accepted. And cash, of course.

EMPLOYMENT

CREDIT COLLECTIONS Financial services company located in Chittenden County seeks individual experienced in credit collections. Excellent compensation and benefits package. Send resume to: BoxNS, PO Box 1164 Burlington. VT 05402

THE

SIRLOIN—

SA^N

EMPLOYMENT

Restaurant - Micatrasan

WAITSTAFF Seeking enthusiastic, PR and service oriented people to jopin our great team. Day positions, FT/PT, Benefits include insurance, meals, flexible schedule. Apply 2-4. SWEETWATERS On the Marketplace 120 Church Street Burlington EOE

NOW HIRING!

FRAMERS! T H E FINE ART ! F R A M E S H O P , O N E OF I THE A R E A ' S FASTEST i GROWING PICTURE | F R A M E S H O P S , HAS j PART-TIME POSITIONS ! FOR F R A M E R S OR | P E O P L E WHO WANT TO I BECOME FRAMERS. | EXPERIENCE PRE; FERRED. FLEXIBLE S C H E D U L E WITH !

>• Servers >• Host/Hostess >- Kitchen Positions

Sales & Marketing Assistant

We offer year 'round employment, vacation, meals, health insurance & more. Become part of our great team! Apply in person 1-5 2545 Shelburne Road Shelburne, VT Visit our Web Site at www.SteakSeafood.com EOE

EMPLOYMENT

Chiptec W o o d Energy Systems seeks Sales and Marketing Assistant to coordinate, support and report sales activites. Coordinate sales visits, sales and presentation materials, marketing, shows and more. M a n a g e database. Opportunity to learn, contribute and grow. Exciting work environment and competitive compensation. Send resume and salary requirements to Chiptec, 4 8 Helen Ave., So. Burlington, VT 05403. E.O.E.

Immediate Openings for

Deli Clerks in our

Award Winning Deli

NORTHLANDS JOB CORPS CENTER is Seeking Candidates for the following positions

also available. Earn extra cash! Apply in person, ioo Dorset So.

Street

Burlington

Customer Service Representatives: These permanent part-time positions include

156 Church Street

c lington

Daytime, evening and weekend hours available. To apply, mail a letter and resume, or complete an application in the administrative offices of the Flynn Theatre, 153 Main

$$$... BENEFITS... CAREER O P P O R T U N I T I E S

Fletcher Allenj^;

HEALTH

DIFFERENTIALS! Differential paid: .49 eve.. weekend.

.99 night. .74

BONUS! Quarterly bonus paid for working evenings/ nights when minimum requirements are met Burlington's Leading Natural Market is seeking dynamic candidates for cashier positions, Produce Department Bulk Grocery and Membership Services Assistant Full- and part-time positions available. Onion River Co-op offers competitive wages, medical & dental, vacation, store discounts. Send resume with cover letter to Human Resources Department or fill out application at: 274 N. Winooski Avenue, Burlington 05401. EOE.

R E S I D E N T I A L A D V I S O R : Caring and energetic individual required for full-time position supervising students aged 16-24 in dormitories during leisure time hours including nights & weekends. Must possess diploma/GED and a genuine commitment to making positive and dramatic changes in the lives of youth LPN (part-time positions weekdays): Nurse needed to work in Northlands' Health Services Department to assist with the medical care & treatment of students. S E C U R I T Y OFFICER (permanent, part-time position): Individual will be responsible for enforcing all ruies and policies of the Center. High school graduate or equivalent, with at least six months experience in security preferably dealing with adolescent populations. Northlands is an equal opportunity employer that provides Vocational, Academic, and Workforce Readiness training to a diverse group of students in a residential setting.

Please submit resume or apply in person to Lisa O'Brien Human Resources Northlands Job Corps Center 100A MacDonough Drive Vergennes, V T 05491

C A R E ^ ^ n -

ENVIRONMENTAL SERVICE WORKERS - He/she will perform total cleaning and disinfecting of patient and non-patient rooms and areas. May operate floor machines, buffers and carpet extractors. Heavy lifting required. All shifts and locations available. Starting salary based on background and skills, with a minimum of $7.28 per hour.

NOW HIRING!

A C A D E M I C I N S T R U C T O R : Individual required to provide full-time interdisciplinary instruction to a diverse population. State certification required, as well as the ability to adapt to innovative teaching methods.

Street, Burlington, VT 05401. No phone calls please. EOE.

lce

HIV/AIDS Consumer Organizer (halftime). Statwide grassroots organizer for HIV+ consumers; advocacy and representation for HIV+ consumers; organize self-advocacy training; liasion with HIV service providers. Car required for statewide travel. Individuals with HIV/AIDS encouraged to apply. EOE. Send resume and letter of interest to: Vermont People with AIDS Coalition, PO Box 11, Montpelier, VT 05601-0011

able. W e e k e n d shifts

accuracy and speed in data entry.

apply in person at:

CONSUMER ORGANIZER

Evening Hours avail-

Strong interpersonal skills required as well as

DISH WASHER: Need you immediately! Atmosphere is fun. Work is hard. Food is good. $7.5o/hr.

EMPLOYMENT

Early morning or

SOME SATURDAY HOURS REQUIRED. TO A R R A N G E A N INTERVIEW CALL 8 6 0 - 1 8 1 1 AND ASK FOR A B B I E .

telephone and in-person window ticket sales.

LINE COOK: Experienced, fast and neat cook needed for upbeat, professional kitchen. Will pay $8-9/hr for right person.

EMPLOYMENT

BENEFITS! Complete benefit package for you and your family! Benefits include Medical and Dental insurance, Retirement plans, Life insurance, paid vacation and tuition reimbursement OPEN INTERVIEW TIME ON THURSDAYS, FROM 10AM TO 1PM AT FAHC, HUMAN RESOURCES, BURGESS BUILDING, 111 COLCHESTER AVE., BURLINGTON, VT 0S401. Fletcher Allen offers a comprehensive benefits package and competitive salaries for full and part-time employees. To apply, use our on-line resume builder at www.fahc.org or e-mail your cover letter and resume to: fahcjobs@vtmednet.org (no attachments) or mail to: HR. FAHC. 111 Colchester Avenue. Burlington. VT 05401. Scannable resumes should be on white paper with standard fonts, no bold, underline or italics please. Reference Job Title and Job Code. EOE.

Police Officer

C i t y of B u r l i n g t o n The City of Burlington is looking for Police Officer Candidates for our community-oriented Police Department. Successful candidates will help preserve the high quality of life in the culturally diverse City of Burlington through innovative community problem solving. Must be a United States Citizen, 18 years old at the time of application, and possess a High School Diploma or equivalent. Must be able to obtain and maintain a valid Vermont State driver's license. Completion of a written aptitude and physical fitness test, MMPi, oral board interview, polygraph examination, background investigation and medical/drug screening test are required. The City offers a competitive salary and benefits package. Starting salary is $26,700 annually, increasing to $31,400 after successfully completing a one-year probationary period. The next scheduled testing date is Monday, September 13,1999. Send resume, cover letter and City of Burlington application packet by September 9 to: Human Resource Department, Room 33, City Hall, Burlington, VT 05401. Women, minorities and persons with disabilities are highly encouraged to apply. EOE.

••BSBJSB please note: even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to republication in any event, liability tor errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days seven ' days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal. & J j j

September.1,,1999

SEVEN DAYS,

pase.55.

7DClassifieds • 864.5684 EMPLOYMENT

EMPLOYMENT

CHIROPRACTOR LOOKING for Office Manager/ Administrative Asst. to help run growing practice. Become part of a team, providing holistic health care in a friendly and caring environment. Responsibility, attention to detail, and desire to take initiative are a must. Send resume to Sobel Family Chiropractic, 22 Patchen Rd., So. Burlington, VT 05403, or spinedoc@together.net.

CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE: Adventurous Traveler Bookstore. Parttime, 20-35 hrs./wk. in rapidly growing Internet company. Requires a strong interest in travel and the outdoors. Extensive phone work and data entry. Send resume to Alex Messinger, Customer Service Manager, PO Box 64769, Burlington, VT 05406.

DOGGIE DAYCARE: Full- & part-time, front desk and other positions available. Apply in person. No phone calls.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER NEEDED for landscape architecture, planning and design firm. Ability to work on Macs in design and production. Send resume to Sarah at Land* Works, 211 Maple St., MW26, Middlebury, VT 05753.

OFFICE MANAGER/PROJECT Assistant for small architectural firm. Should be flexible, have strong organizational skills, basic accounting knowledge, able to work independently, and be motivated to provide project support in addition to general duties. Interest in design & Macintosh experience preferred. Cover letter and resume to GKW Working Design, PO Box 1214, Stowe, VT 05672.

PRODUCTION SUPERVISOR: Progressive company seeks full-time production supervisor. Ideal candidate: intelligent, mature, responsible, conscientious, self-starter, keen attention to detail, team player, great communicator, excellent boundaries, joyful, honest and thoughtful. If these qualities describe you, please send resume and cover letter to: New Dye-Mensions, 150 West Canal St., Winooski, VT 05404. Fax: 802-654-7453.

CUSTOMER SERVICE/ SALES: Local call center seeking several individuals with excellent phone skills for a variety of projects. Flexible hours and excellent pay plus bonuses. Call 8728130.

^ V e r m o n t

DO YOU LIKE COFFEE, WINE & FOOD? The Mist Grill, Central VT's hottest new restaurant, is seeking an enthusiastic Barista with the interest to learn! We have the greatest opportunity with part-time shifts, mostly days and some weekend nights. Call Paul, 244-2233(CAFE), or fax resumes to 244-5432.

H u m a n e ^

ASSISTANT T O T H E DIRECTOR Seeking a dedicated, energetic, outgoing and organized individual for this full-time position.The successful candidate will have excellent clerical and compute skills, be versatile and have the ability to take responsibility for a variety of tasks including but not limited to administrative support, program management, newsletter production, volunteer coordination, public education, fund raising, and public relations. Applicant must be flexible, able to work some evenings and weekends, and committed to caring. Please send cover letter, resume and writing sample: CVHS.Attn: Executive Director, P.O. Box 687, Montpelier,VT 05601.

PROJECT

COORDINATOR

Exciting position to work on the development of major art exhibition and publication portraying in word and image the enduring legacy of the life and work of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The exhibition is being produced in collaboration with the Smithsonian Institution Traveling Exhibition Service. Will be responsible for Identifying, locating and cataloging art work made in response to the influence of Dr. King. Additional responsibilities will include liaision with museums, institutions and galleries; contact with artists; and project coordination. Outstanding opportunities to learn museum exhibition development. Modest financial compensation. Send resume or call Verve Editions, 209 College St. Burlington, VT 05401860.2866

THINGS

FINANCIAL COMPANY looking for Office Assistant with phone and computer skills. Must have pleasant attitude and be willing to learn. Flexibility a must. Please call 863-4700. FLOWER AMBASSADOR: Full-time, to deliver our flowers and assist in the cleaning and maintenance of our shop. Excellent driving record, outstanding communication and organizational skills required. Knowledge of Chittenden County and a commitment to exquisite customer service, a team player & Saturdays a must. RETAIL ASSISTANT: Fulltime, 4 days/wk., Saturdays a must, to assist customers in flower ordering, selection and purchasing. Requires previous retail exp., knowledge of flowers & plants, outstanding communication skills and a commitment to exquisite customer service. Position req. a team player interested in assisting in all aspects of shop operations & maintenance. Vivaldi Flowers, 350 Dorset St., So. Burlington. 863-2300.

ASSOCIATE GRAPHIC

DESIGNER

Are you interested in working one on one with an art director to develop marketing collateral, medical content, presentations, and internet/intranet content? Are you experienced with Macintosh graphics and want to learn more by getting your hands on the latest software and the best equipment? Would you like to spend 20 - 30 hours a week working in one of the coolest offices in Burlington for great pay? IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO THESE QUESTIONS, CONTACT US NOW!

AMERICORPS GETTING

FARMHOUSE CHEESE MAKER: Organization with environmental mission seeks full-time individuals until year's end. Make, cut, wax, wrap & ship. Apply to Ross or Steve, Shelburne Farms, Shelburne, VT 05482.

DONE

HOUSE PAINTERS: Motivated workers with some exterior house painting experience sought for fall employment by well-established, top-end residential painting company known for its socially responsible policies & excellent customer service. Call Paul, Lafayette Painting, 863-5397.

PARKS MANAGER: The Winooski Valley Parks District, conservators of public natural area throughout Chittenden County, seeks versatile person for position of responsibility. Duties include: supervising parks operations, grant writing, special projects, budget, control, Send resume to Jennifer Ely, Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, VT 05401. Position to be filled ASAP.

KICK START YOUR CAREER with FREE Vocational Training at Job Corps. Train in Automotive, CNA, Carpentry and more. GED, Driver's License, housing available. Must be 16-24. 1800-647-3338. www.nejobcorps.org.

PHONE WORK: Part-time positions available now in our telemarketing department. Great earning potential. Flexible hours. Some evenings required. Call 8634700, ext. 1001.

MENTOR WANTED: Young adult who enjoys computers & football. Experience working w/ youth preferred. Rent & monthly stipend provided. Send resume to TSYF, 1 Mill St., Box B-12, Burlington, VT 05401.

PREP/COUNTER HELP FOR friendly, team-oriented cafe. Flexible weekday hours. This is a great environment; no corporate mentality. Call Beverly, 862-5515.

MULTI-MEDIA ADVERTISING has several full- & parttime opportunities. Sales Account Exec.: flexible hrs., work locally, will train. Also: Website/ html Editor. MultiMedia Adv., PO Box 64, St. Johnsbury, VT 05819. Email: mas@vtliving. com, or www.vtliving.com.

Restaurant

DISHWASHERS • • • •

O-BREAD BAKERY: Full- & part-time positions for individuals w/ good work skills. Duties cover full-range of bakery work from production to delivery. Call 985-8771.

WEB

Apply in person 1-5 PERRY'S F I S H H O U S E 1080 Shelburne Road South Burlington E O E

BUILDER/PROGRAMMER

Your task is to develop engineered technical solutions that satisfy the needs of several departments. As a member of the internet team you will also be heavily involved in maintaining and designing our internet & intranet sites as well as our web-based software. QUALIFICATIONS

•

This position

requires a strong working knowledge

HTML, DHTML, and Javascript. Additional knowledge in client-side scripting, streaming

O u r Art Director is looking for an associate graphic designer, to work 20 to 30 hours a week on a wide variety of projects. You will need to be Macintosh savvy and have some experience with desktop graphics, Quark and Photoshop in particular. Other graphics know-how is a plus, but isnt necessary. You need to have exceptional people skills, be able to work independently and learn quickly For the right person this internship could lead to future full time employment with PKC.

Interested in making a positive difference in your community? "Give something back" while gaining valuable work experience! Nineteen full-time service positions with Non-profits throughout Vermont, including organizations in Barre, Burlington, Morrisville, and Rutland.

audio and video as well as Flash is highly favored. Your U R l i = experience. Email your resume in HTML, PDF or ASCI to: hr@pkc.com or point us to your on-line resume. Please include an electronic cover letter, salary requirements and your URli (describing your involvement and specifics you were directly responsible for). O u r corporation is a great place to work, and our employees are a large part of what makes

Committment from 9/8/99 to 8/10/00. Dedicated, selfmotivated, dependable team players with initiative wanted.

If you

meet

these

forward

your

resume,

a cover

letter

and

sample

of your work

(anything

you

think

will get our attention)

$10,000 stipend, $4,725 educational award and basic health insurance. Training opportunities and Ropes Course.

requirements

please

asap to:

our work environment rewarding and the company

successful.

contributes

lo the

Every

overall

individual success.

provide our employees with a business casual dress code, an open door policy, an attractive

Sharyn Kane, Dir. H u m a n Resources 1 Mill Street - Box A8

PKC Corporation 1 Mill St reel • Box A8 Burlington, VT 05401 hr@phc.com please, no phone inquiries EOE www.pkc.com

Burlington, VT 05401-1530 EOE please, no phone

Vermont Community Stewardship Program an AmeriCorps project of the Vermont Housing and Conservation Board

GROOMER WANTEP Busy retail pet store seeks professional groomer. Great work environment. High visibility location & advertising support. Sublease possible for selfemployed. Contact jim at:

benefit plan and much, much more.

PKC Corporation

For information or an application call 828-3253. EOE.

Good starting salary Insurance Full A part time Meal privileges

inquiries

Submittals without an enclosed sample of artwork will not be considered.

NOAH'S ARK Pet & Grooming Center

655-0421

noahspet01@aol.com

www.pkc.com

young, smart,

energetic...

and loobina pr

SEVEN DAYS r e a d e r s

are t h e

"hire

wor class

45% of Seven Days readers are between the ages of 18 and 34 90% have been to college and 70% have a college degreee or higher Call Michelle at 864-5684 to place an employment display ad. ">pag€L56 -

SEVEN DAYS

September 1, 1 9 9 9

RESTAURANT: Qualified Baker, overnight. Also Dishwasher, days. Good pay. Chef's Corner, Williston, 878-5524. RESTAURANT: Dishwasher/ cooks/counter help/server, full- & part-time. Flexible hrs. Will train. Good wage & tip. Call between 2:30-5 p.m., 878-5524. Chef's Corner Cafe, Williston. RESTAURANT HELP: Dishwasher, part-time, great after-school job. Free dinner, great working environment. 5-11 p.m. Flexible scheduling. Competitive pay. Apply in person to Trattoria Delia, St. Paul St., Burlington, or by appt. at 864-5253. RESTAURANT POSITIONS: The Mist Grill, Waterbury, Central VT's hottest new restaurant and bakery! Great workplace and opportunities! Seeking exp. cooks, Culinary Degree a +. fax resume. Other positions: exp. servers (B/L, weekend dinners), parttime bakery counter person, prep cooks and dishwashers. Fax resume to 802-2445432, or come in and check us out. SUPERVISORY POSITIONS available at locally owned video Superstore. Motivated, customer-friendly film buffs needed. Benefits incl., health insurance package, IRA plan, free movie rentals. Apply in person at Video World Superstore, Ethan Allen Shopping Ctr., North Ave., Burlington. $800 WEEKLY POTENTIAL processing government refunds at home! No experience necessary. 1-800-6964779 ext. 1394.

VOLUNTEERS VOLUNTEERS SOUGHT: Big Heavy World weeks musicloving creative writers, digital video editor, and live-music taping enthusiasts for ongoing local music projects. Call 373-1824.

Classifieds • 864.5684 BUSINESS OPP.

RED MEAT

ATTENTION: WE PAY YOU T O lose weight! Looking for people interested in losing 1 0 - 1 0 0 lbs. All-natural herbs. Dr. recommended. 1 0 0 % guaranteed 1 - 8 8 8 681-4202.

You weren't kidding Jed...cigars do have a natural laxative effect. But I still don't think I can do it.

ENTREPRENEURS! Start your own business. High-tech product that everyone needs. No competition, low start-up costs. Will train, full- or parttime. Crisp Air, Toll Free 18 7 7 - 8 2 3 - 5 0 4 0 . or in VT 802-244-8344.

PRIVATE DETECTIVE AGENCY seeks Trial Attorney for Agency & Clientz. No experience needed, will teach. Minorities encouraged to make a difference. Contact: Deffective? Detective, Box 002, c/o PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402. SELL YOUR PRODUCTS ON THE INTERNET: Build a fullfeatured e-commerce store for only $79/mo. No expensive design/set-up fees. Check it out at www.iocus .com, or call 802-496-2940.

ujujui.ultimateuuealthsystem.com Visit this site and you could win a PC and up to $500! Access Number: 10134 (very important)

ANNOUNCEMENTS rockcity.com seeks u >U: young, over twenty-one, longing for your big BREAK, not to mention craving ADVENTURE & contemplating a move to Los Angeles. " :; • M >rockcity.com: the cutting edge in internet entertainment, seeks six like I) for CAST of new SHOW, rockcity limits, rockcity-curious? Get the full scoop at <u guessed it - rockcity.com> Or e-mail us at myrockcity@aol.com

AUTOMOTIVE MUSTANG, '85; 4-cyl.,

auto., much-loved, much charisma, great first car, runs great, inspected. Must sell. $ 5 0 0 o.b.o. 8 6 3 - 0 4 2 1 .

OFFICE/STUDIO/ APT7H0USE FOR RENT RETAIL SPACE AVAILABLE CHARLOTTE: Avail, now, BURLINGTON: 296 sq. ft., a/c, non-smoking, quiet, professional office on independent Block, near waterfront. Oak firs., daylight fluorescents and shared conf. area, kitchen & copy machine. $390/mo., incl. utils. Avail now. Call 864-8183. MASSAGE HEALING SPACE: downtown, near Spirit Dancer, nice waiting rm., shower. 1/2 day—1/2 week avail. Looking for New-Age Therapies; friendly, flexible, positive. Body Mind Connection, 658-4488. RETAIL SPACE: 4,000 sq. ft. w/ excellent visibility in a high-traffic area. 157 Pearl St., Essex Jet. Call 7477001 for details. WINOOSKI: Quiet room avail, tor Weekday work or' study in Winooski residence. Reasonable rent. Details negotiable. Call Jill, 655-8915.

fS"f"oRy M i h J U + S

spacious 1-bdrm. apt. in renovated farmhouse. Beautiful property. No dogs. $650/mo. + utils. 985-8076 xt. 129 CHARLOTTE: Designer executive, historical home, Spear St. 1-year or LT. Furnished, 1.5 bath, sleeps 4-8, all amen., 10-ray garden bed. $1,900/ mo. + utils. Avail. 9/1.865-2225, fax 301942-3090.

ROOM FOR RENT BURLINGTON: Furnished rms. in guest house; downtown, shrd. common areas, parking, newly renov. No pets/smoking. Clean, quiet, resp. only. Wkly./mthly. rates. 862-3341.

f r o m the secret files of

the buckling beams of your hopes and dreams

^Gnngh? Nope. Not gonna happen.

HOUSEMATES WANTED BURLINGTON; Responsible, non-smoking female to share sunny 2-bdrm. w/ prof, female & cat. Parking, garden space, walk to town. Avail. 10/1. $300/mo. + utils. 864-3013. BURLINGTON: 30ish prof., non-smoker seeks same for 2-bdrm. house w/ fireplace, yard, own bath. No pets. $350/mo. + 1/2 utils. 860-6042.

MQ* cannon Maybe I should just sign my letter of resignation with a pen, instead.

HAVE Y O U TAKEN THE P L U N G E INTO

ce/i/rucif BUT NOW HAVING MIXED EMOTIONS?

BURLINGTON: Professional, responsible, non-smoker to rent separate bedroom, living room and half bath. Quiet, New No. End neighborhood , yard, storage,W/D. No pets, $400 + 1/2 utils. 864-7372. BURLINGTON: Laid-back music lover sought for 3bdrm., Old No. End apt. $220/mo. + utils. Call Mike or Tim, 865-2597. CHARLOTTE: A great place to live. Are you a non-smoking female w/o pets? Share a unique apt. w/ spectacular views. Avail, now. $400/mo. + low utils. 425-4557.

<S> l w n y ELSE WoULP SUE FALL IN •

= ; ^ R R F T R R R Z — L O V E WITH THE L I T T L E M A N ? I " T F T A N L ^ U L A T I O H R ' U ^ N K R H H F C I -This S M u r y HAP g e e N o m ^ A FbTioN. Z =

PERSON <T0> PERSON 1-900-370-7127

THE PETECTlVE WHO HAP

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• FORCING SoMEoNE To LoVE

PISCOVEREP THE P E E P WAS | y o u WAS A G A I N S T THE LAWS OUTRAGEP. I OF NATURE.

NISSAN 4x4 XL PICK-UP,

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JEEP WRANGLER, 1994:

dark green, 5 8 K mi., 4-cyl., 2 tops, 5-spd., great shape, $ 8 , 0 0 0 . Grace, 8 0 2 - 3 8 8 0548.

BUY CARS! FROM $500.

U p c o m i n g seizure/surplus sales. Sport, luxury & economy cars. For current listings

-twovc; LAY@VJAYLAy.COM

BESlPES, ME HAP FALLEN FbR THE WOMAN, HIMSELF.

SINCE THE PoTloN'S EFFECT WAS IRREVERSIBLE, SoME CREATIVE

THE PoTloN MAKER ToLP HIM WHAT HE ALREAPy KNEW.

THE oNLy WAy To MAKE RooM IN HER HEART FoR SoMEoNE ELSE...

So HE T00K A P0T10N, INSTEAP, THAT MAPE HIM

EVERyoNE LLVEP HAPPlLy EVER AFTEfZ.

SOLUTION WAS RECUIREP.

call 1-800-311-5048 ext. 1738.

REAL ESTATE HOMES FROM $5,000. Foreclosed and repossessed. No or low down payment. Credit trouble OK. For current listings call 1-800-3115048 ext. 3478.

THE PETECTlVE CoULPN'T BRING HIMSELF To BREAK HER HEART LIKE THAT.

F O R G E T A L L A B O U T HER.

September 1 , 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page

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HOUSEMATES WANTED

UNIQUE LIVING SITUATIONS

FINANCIAL SERVICES

CHARLOTTE: Female wanted for village apt. No pets, but pet-friendly, smoker OK. W/D. Avail, now. $275/mo. + 1/2 utils. + dep. Donna, 425-4168, leave message.

RICHMOND: F for beautifully furnished accommodations at "The Spa." Indoor pool, exercise room, whirlpool. NS. $450-$550/mo. 434-3846.

MENTOR WANTED: Young adult who enjoys computers & football. Exp. working w/ youth pref. Rent & monthly stipend provided. Send resume: TSYF, 1 Mill St., Box B-12, Burl., VT 05401.

CREDIT REPAIR! As seen on TV. Erase bad credit legally. Free info.: 1-800-768-4008.

UNDERHILL: Beautiful country home, gardens & pool. 1 cat; no more pets. $400/mo., incl. all. Avail. 9/5. 899-4596.

HINESBURG: 1-2 people for house in country. Furnished, good music selection, great place for hiking & skiing. Pets possible. Avail, immediately. $300/mo + 1/2 utils. Call B„ 482-3975.

CLEANING SERVICES YOU JUST GOT HOME. You close the door on the outside world. You breathe a sigh...of releif or disgust? Call Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 658-7458. "Oh, Auntie Em, It's true! There's no place like home! — Dorothy

HINESBURG: Female to share house w/ Ig. yard, W/D & phone/cable in room. 10 min. to Burl. $400/mo., utils. incl. 482-5985.

J FJH5KI C O - E D S : 1-213-213-6403 G A Y O R G Y : 1-213-213-6803

V/MC/AMEX

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NASTY GIRLS!!! Hot! Live!

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691 0 1-888-420-BABE 1-800-250-6556 1-900-484-9388

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"PUMPING" BRAKES RARELY BEST WAY TO SLOW Dear Tom and Ray, Is it better to apply the brakes and then let off alternately, or just apply steady pressure when slowing down or stopping•? And which method causes less wear on the brakes? —Bishop

RAY: Well, let's ignore the wear-and-tear issue for the m o m e n t . T h e r e are a couple of safety situations that call for alternating o n a n d o f f " the brakes. O n e is slick roads. If you don't have anti-lock brakes, p u m p i n g the brakes releasing t h e m just as they start t o lock u p a n d t h e n mediately reapplying t h e m ) Ou stay in control o f

58i

SEVEN DAYS

MATH, ENGLISH, WRITING, Science, Humanities, Proofreading, from elementary to graduate level. Test Prep for GRE, LSAT, GMAT, SAT-I, SAT-II, ACT, GED, TOEFL... Michael Kraemer, 8626599.

HOMEBREW MAKE GREAT BEER AT HOME for only 500/bottle.

COMPUTER SERVICES

DATING SERVICES

COMPATIBLES: Singles meet by being in the same place as other singles. We've made this the best time to connect you. Details, 863-4308. www.compatibles.com. N.E. SINGLES CONNECS ,TtQN; Dating and Friendship Network for relationship minded Single Adults. Professional, Intel- ligent, Personal. Lifetime membership. Newsletter. For FREE info, 1-800-775-3090.

the car a n d keep f r o m skidd i n g while you stop. T O M : T h e other situation where constant, steady pressure is N O T a good idea is w h e n you're going d o w n a long, steep hill. T h e n you w a n t to use a low gear a n d m i n i m i z e the d e p e n d e n c e on the brakes. Excessive use of the brakes — w h e t h e r constant or i n t e r m i t t e n t — could lead the brakes to over-heat, which could m a k e the brake fluid boil a n d lead to complete brake failure. RAY: But to get back to your question a b o u t which m e t h o d causes less wear o n the brakes, the answer is: N o b o d y knows. A n d m y guess is that — in terms of wear a n d tear o n the brakes — the difference is so slight that it hardly matters, T O M : However, I'd strongly r e c o m m e n d against "pulsing" the brakes u n d e r n o r m a l cir-

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BUY THIS STUFF

1997 800ZRT SNOWSLED W/ l,000cc Black Magic kit. dhuber computer Set-up for serious drag user-friendly computer support racer—fast! $6,000 o.b.o. when you need us Call Sheryl, 518-643-8478. technical support - system maintenance - tutoring - problem solving CHERRYWOOD DINING RM. repair SET: 92" double pedestal on site: your home or small business win 95/98 & mac os table, 8 Chippendale chairs, 802-660-2672 lighted hutch & buffet. Necer opened, still in box. Cost $11,000, sacrafice for $3,200. Keith, 658-4955.

September 1, 1999

you want! Start-up kits & prize-winning recipes. Gift certifs. are a great gift. VT Homebrew Supply, Rt. 15, Winooski. 655-2070.

Call S h a r o n s e s - 5 2 1 ?

MAGUOZZI K n v

nection

Brew what you want when

ALL-LIVE CHATLINES!!

XXX! SECRET DESIRES

TUTORING SERVICES

You bet she's a peach! I met her 'through S E V E N DAYS personals!

MATTRESS & 2 BOXES: King size, orthopedic pillow top. Brand new, still in plastic. Cost $1,295, sell $495. Call 658-5031. QUEEN-SIZED SLEEPER SOFA: dark-blue print, exc. cond., $150. Light-blue lounge chair,.$50. Moving to a smaller house. 879-8343. VISA/MC AUTHORIZATION machine, $50; round security mirror, $25; Ig. commercial clothing steamer, $100; paper cutter, $10. Mon.Sat., 879-6134.

Call 864-CCTA to respond to a listing or to be listed. SO. BURLINGTON to WINOOSKI: I am looking for a ride to the Champlain Mill. My hours are 82:30, M-F. (3171) ESSEX JCT. to SO. BURLINGTON: Looking for a ride either way. I work 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., M-F. (3168) MORRISVILLE to BURLINGTON: I am looking to share driving on my daily commute. I work M-F, 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. (3162) BURLINGTON to IBM: I work 11 i.m. to 8 a.m., ue.-Sat., and am looking for a ride. ' can get home in the morning, but I realy need a ride to work in the evening. (3159) SHELBURNE to HINESBURG & HINESBURG to BURL.: I am seeking a ride to work in Hinesburg at 8 a.m., MWF, and a ride from work to Burl, at 11:30 a.m. (3005) ST. ALBANS to BURLINGTON: I work in Burlington, 2 to 10, M-F, and am hoping to get a ride. flexible' * and can leave St. Albans earlier than 1 p.m. and Burl, later than 10 p.m. if necessary. (3155)

CROWN POINT/ADDISON to BURLINGTON: I have a flexible schedule & looking to catch a ride from Crown Point anytime before noon & return from Burl, anytime after 6 p.m. (3156) WILLIAMSTOWN to BURLINGTON: I'd like to share driving on my daily commute. I work 7:45 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (3154) HUNTINGTON to ESSEX: I work the first shift, M-F, at IBM and am hoping someone can ive me a lift. 157) COLCHESTER to BURLINGTON: I am looking to share driving to work. My hours are 8 to 4, M-F. (3153) SHELBURNE to ST. ALBANS: I will drive you from Shel./Burl. at 6 a.m. to arrive in St. Albans at 7 a.m. or from St. Albans at 7 a.m. to arrive in Shel./Burl. at 8 a.m. In the evening, I leave~-,Q Shel./Burl. at 4 v p.m. & St. Albans at 5 p.m. (3152) ESSEX to BURLINGTON: I'm looking for a ride to UHC. I work 3 to 11:30, M-F & alt. wknds. (3146)

If you have formed or joined a carpool, call CCTA to enroll in our Guaranteed Ride

cumstances. Even if it does cause less wear and tear (and that's a big "if"), any m o n e y you save will be more than eaten u p by the cleaning bills — the bills to remove the puke stains f r o m the upholstery f r o m all of your nauseated passengers. So except in the situations we m e n t i o n e d above, Bishop, try to brake s m o o t h l y and gently. Dear Tom and Ray, I have a 1991 Buick Custom Century with only 19,900 miles on it. I'm getting a loud "thump, thump, thump" every time I make a right turn. I took it to our local Buick dealer, and he sent a mechanic out with it; when he came back, the head mechanic went out with it. When he came back, he said my car was out of line and said to get the wheels aligned and get new tires because they were cupped. I did all he said, but now I still get the "thump, thump, thump." I have had the front brakes renewed, and it's still there. I had a new muffler system put in, and still the

thump. I have spent more than $600, and it's still "thump, thump, thump" on right turns. What gives? — William RAY: I don't think your car was "out of line," William. I think it was your dealer w h o was o u t of line. T O M : Your tires may, in fact, have been c u p p e d , b u t I'm pretty sure your p r o b l e m is a bad constant-velocity (CV) joint. C V joints are complex universal joints o n the f r o n t axles that allow the f r o n t wheels to b o t h move u p a n d d o w n and left and right to steer the car. A n d the t h u m p ing or clacking you hear on turns is classic s y m p t o m of a bad C V joint. Classic! Right o u t of the textbook. RAY: So ask a m e c h a n i c you trust to check o u t your C V joints, William. T h r e e hours and $ 3 0 0 later, I'll bet your " t h u m p , t h u m p , t h u m p " is ancient history.

The annual cost of owning a

HUNTINGTON to IBM: I work the first shift and am looking to catch a ride to work with someone M-F. (3140) UNDERHILL/RICH MOND to MIDDLEBURY: Going my way? I would like to share the ride to and from work. My hours are 8:30 to 5 p.m., M-F. (3142) BRISTOL to BURLINGTON: I would like to share driving to work to cut down on the wear and tear on my car. I work 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., M-F. (3131) LINCOLN/BRISTOL to S. BURLINGTON: I'm looking to share driving 4 days/wk. My hrs. are 8:30 to 5 p.m. (3126) JOHNSON to BURLINGTON: I am a student looking for a ride to school M-F, 8 to 4. I really need

a rirlo T H gfhnnl I VANPOO^DERS Route from: Burlington and the Richmond Ci

are: $85 Work Hours: 7:30 to 4:25 p.m. Contact: Cart Bohlen Phone: 828-5215 Vermont

Rideshare ^ ^

•••uroowrr^H

good used car is about half as much as owning a new car! How do you find a good used car? Order Tom and Ray's pamphlet "How to Buy a Great Used Car: Things That Detroit and Tokyo Don't Want You to Know. " Send $3 and a stamped (55 cents), self-addressed, No. 10 envelope to Used Car, PO Box 6420, Riverton, NJ 08077-6420. Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care of this newspaper, or email them by visiting the Car Talk section of cars.com on the World Wide Web.

mmamm

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D CIlas m

BUY THIS STUFF

MUSIC SEE LIVE LOCAL MUSIC PHOTOGRAPHS from Burlington, VT online at www.bigheavyworld.com, made possible in part by Burlington City Arts.

WOLFF TANNING BEDS TAN AT H O M E B U Y D I R E C T & SAVE! C O M M E R C I A L / H O M E UNITS F R O M $199 LOW MONTHLY P A Y M E N T S FREE C O L O R CATALOG C A L L TODAY 1-800-711-0158

j# if '11|||F

- r

FREE CAT: Male, fixed, 9 mo., tortoise shell, soft & gentle, wanting home in the I country w/ good family. Please call 868-5492.

MAX MIX DJ/RECORD SHOP, 108 Church St., Burlington, looking for used DJ/music equipment, record collections and local clothing designers. Merchandise placed on consignment. 802-651-0722. AD ASTRA RECORDING. Got music? Relax. Record. Get the tracks. 20+ yrs. Exp. from stage to studio. Tenure Skyline Studios, NYC. 24track automated mixdown. lst-rate gear. Wide array of keyboards, drums, more. Ad Astra, building a reputation of sonic integrity. 872-8583.

MUSIC MARTIN D'ONE ACUSTIC, spruce top, rosewood fretboard w/ hard case, $600 o.b.o. Fender Telecaster, American standard, Olympic white, rosewood fretboard, $500. Sean, 864-3086. TELECASTER: Yamaha Mike Stern model, brand new, long-scale neck, jumbo frets, humbucker p.u. @ neck & rail p.u. @ bridge. Nice finish, exc. shape. $325 o.b.o. Call Jim, 849-9749. BASSIST, GUITARIST, drummer, brass & wind players wanted for unique music performance troupe. Actors & theater visionaries also sought. Irving, 860-6398, or superpickle.com/mailbox. BASS PLAYER WANTED FOR hard-working, original blues band Bloozotomy! Experienced w/ all types of Blues, some Jazz/Swing and improv. abilities, too. Must be professional, committed & sincere. Upright bass ability a +, but not absolutely necessary. If you have all that, and a good sense of humor,

AROMATHERAPY

HERBS

CHIROPRACTIC DR. HEATHER DONOVAN: 864-4959. See display ad.

FITNESS YMCA: 862-9622. See display ad.

wellness MASSAGE LAURA LUCHINI: 865-1233. See display ad. TRANQUIL CONNECTION Therapeutic Massage: Spa avail, prior to your session for ultimate relaxation in serene setting. Sessions start at $45. Special: 3 1.5hrs. sessions, $165. Board certified therapist. For appt. or leave message, 654-9200. TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep therapeutic massage. Sessions: $50. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 872-7069.

PURPLE SHUTTER HERBS: Burlington's only full-service herb shop. We carry only the finest herbal products; many of them grown/produced in Vt. Featuring over 400 bulk dried herbs/tinctures. 100 Main Street, Burl. 865HERB. Store hours: Mon.Sat., 10-6.

LIFE COACH IS THERE ANYTHING IN your life you'd like to change or improve? Less stress? More satisfaction? Imagine your career, finances & relationships exactly how you'd like them to be. Free initial consultation. Mark Nash, Personal Coach. 482-2488.

PERSONAL TRAINER CHRISTOPHER BUSCH: 244-5992. See display ad.

MASSAGE

Dale Chamberlain

MUSIC INSTRUCTION GUITAR: All styles/levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Revue, Kilimanjaro, SklarGrippo, etc.). 862-7696.

wellness

STAR ROOT: Specializing in fine custom blending for your aromatherapy, beauty and bodycare needs. Carrier oils and supplies available. We stock over 100 therapeuticgrade pure essential oils. Ask about bulk pricing. 174 Battery St., Burl. 862-4421.

16-TRACK ANALOG RECORDING STUDIO. Dogs, Cats & Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, prof, environment. Services for: singer/ songwriters, jingles, bands. Reasonable rates. Call Robin, 658-1042.

PETS

wellness

Massage Therapist 742-0190

i^iilll

BURLINGTON

DALE CHAMBERLAIN: 7420190. See display ad. EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE MASSAGE! Treat yourself or a friend to the incredible relaxation & effectiveness of exquisite Oriental massage w/ JinShin Acupressure. Assists in stress relief, injury recovery, renewed vitality. Fantastic gift! Gift certificates avail. $5 discount w/ ad. Acupressure Massage of Vermont, J. Watkins, 425-4279.

PSYCHICS BERNICE KELMAN: 8993542. See display ad.

PSYCHOLOGY LINDA SCOTT: 864-1877. See display ad.

REFLEXOLOGY

BERNICE KELMAN

PIANO: Individualized approach from an experienced and enthusiastic teacher. Children & adults of all levels. Nella, 985-9463.

W$$gl$rsonal Trainer

PSYCHIC COUNSELING

A.F.P.A. Certified

CHANNELING

WpersonaBzed training routines tiif fitness goals BY ArrOINTMENT

DANCE!

1 2 KELLY UNDERHILL,

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For toddlers, kids, teens and adults!

V T

05489 802.899'3542

Swing • Mambo • Rhumba Merengue • Tango • Jitterbug

849-9749, or email: good2cu@together.net. CREATIVE AND VERSATILE musicians needed for mixed media project involving recording and touring. Oneyear commitment. Please describe your musical exp. & skills to sgtwinbdjj@aol.com, or PO Box 653, Burlington, VT 05402.

R D

• Available to train at AB American I I |f fitness 865-3068 $35 per training session or . if; .$100 lor package of 4 traming sessions H

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602.244.5992 home 802.233.5059 ted

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FOOT REFLEXOLOGY: My hands, your feet. Will travel. For diagnosis & treatment of various ailments, incl. headaches. $35/session. Call for appt., Ron Krupp, 658-9974.

ROLFING THOMAS WALKER & GAIL LOVEITT: 864-0444. See display ad.

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862-9622

&MIMI S t A C H , KAWAI

2 6 6 C o l l e g e St. B u r l i n g t o n

LINDA SCOTT

DJ GEAR: 2 Technics SL1200 MK-II turntables, very good cond. ($800 new) w/ 2 Calzone escort cases, exc. cond. ($350 new) & Vestax 5009 mixer ($225 new). All for $900. Must sell. Luke, 472-5484.

L I C E N S E D PSYCHOLOGIST O f f e r i n g p r o f e s s i o n a l services to adults & adolescents c h o o s i n g t o recover f r o m anxiety, d e p r e s s i o n , substance abuse, sexual a b u s e , l o w s e l f - e s t e e m . Insurance & Medicaid accepted.

THE KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE offers monthly studio rentals to bands and musicians. For more info and space availability, call 6602880, Williston Rd., So. Burlington.

2 C h u r c h Street Burlington, V T 05401

(802) 864-1877

Back To Wellness Chiropractic Center Dr. Heather L. Donovan

MA-IT

THIS is

1000

IN HELL

• providing effectiveiqiiality care to achieve & maintain Health • specializing in low back* neck &

187 Su P a u l Street, Burlington, V T

802,664^959 space

av/diabte

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for rent for

or massage

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864-0444 September 1 , 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 59

m U M l i t t l

ARIES

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): I was speeding down L.A.'s Ventura Freeway when a Lambourghini pulled up next to me. T h e driver leaned over a n d gesticulated as if playing charades. O m i g a w d . It was Jay Leno. W h a t could he possibly be trying to convey? T h a t he loved m y column and wanted me on his show? Nah. H e was pointing to the back of m y car, letting me know my t r u n k was ajar. "Thanks," I waved to my helper, disappointed. Pulling off at the next exit, I f o u n d that two of my favorite books had already been jostled out of the trunk, b u t not m y precious laptop. So Leno's intervention had been crucial after all. A n d what does this tale have to do with you? It's a parable for an experience you'll soon have. You'll receive help you didn't even know you need f r o m someone you consider more important than you.

TAURUS

(Apr. 2 0 - M a y 20):

You desperately need to erupt with wet a n d w i n d y brainstorms, Taurus. Luckily, cosmic forces are conspiring to help you do just that. Still, I hope you don't sit back a n d expect blind fate to provide all the raw energy. W h i p u p your imagination, okay? Devour books o n creativity, spar with the most original thinkers you know, a n d throw yourself into hotspots where you'll be stripped of your boring certainty. N o w drink in these words f r o m M o r t o n H u n t . " T h e unconscious will not produce new ideas unless it has been painstakingly stuffed full of facts, impressions, concepts a n d an endless series of conscious r u m i n a t i o n s a n d attempted solutions. O n this we have the testimony of m a n y creative people."

T21-JIUIE 2 0 ) : I

Kbf>e you're still busy'carrying out the h o m e w o r k I gave you last week, Gemini — you know, visualizing yourself living in a paradisiacal dream h o m e a n d remembering all the best things about your childhood. Please consider taking on additional assignments to supplem e n t these tasks. 1) Read historical

• • • •• m

u've been and where you're oing; having unimaginable power to reprogram yourself nth ritual and with coniously formulated intentions.

fm^

Q U A R I U S (Jan. novels that inspire you to fantasize about your previous incarnations. 2) Pore over photos of your grandparents and their parents, daydreaming about what their lives were like and feeling gratitude to them for making it possible for you to be alive now. 3) After dark, water down a pile of dirt in the backyard or local park and cover your naked body with fresh m u d , then dance like you do in your dreams.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22):

It'll be one of those quick-change, turn-on-a-dime, no-warning weeks when you should be equally ready to lift a pair of tweezers or sledgehammer to accomplish your aims — maybe even at the same time. McGiver-like improvisational skills and the ability to bend over backwards will be valuable assets; reliable old theories and inflexible strategies will be expensive liabilities. Latebreaking developments may require you to update your understanding of the truth on a frantically regular basis. I suggest you carry the psychic equivalent of a Swiss army knife with you everywhere you go.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): My God! D o you realize the privilege you're about to enjoy? It's Freedom from W a n t Week! For Leos only! During this mystical grace period you might actually feel perfectly contented — freed from the gnawing obsession to acquire more possessions, more power, more proof of your greatness, more blah blah blah. You may even make the shocking discovery that you don't need as m u c h as you t h o u g h t you did in order to be happy; that maybe you could really enjoy learning how to get more out of what you already have.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your surprising burst of strength will

expand and mutate this week. You'll continue to break and re-break all records for courage, excellence and bratty purity. (I hope you're as proud of yourself as I am.) Already you're less afraid of raging beauty and truth than you've been in your entire adult life. At least temporarily, you're i m m u n e to being manipulated by guilt, and you're amazingly smart about how to treat the people and animals and things you love. Seems to me you're ready to get revenge against your "friendly devils" in the only way that matters: by creating a crafty masterpiece.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Me: "Knock knock." You: "Who's there?" Me: "Armageddon." You: "Armageddon who?" Me: "Armageddon out of here. T h e frenzy of millennial fear-mongering by apocalypticians of all stripes (including hordes of my fellow astrologers) is endangering my normally saintly cool. And it ain't very healthy for you, either, Libra. If I were you, I'd hide from anyone who worships angst and gloom — especially those faux smarties who believe cynicism is a sign of intelligence. Given your delicate (yet curiously powerful) condition, you can't afford to contract any of the diseases of the imagination that are so contagious these days. My advice: Surround yourself solely with influences that allow you to feel vulnerable but daring, wildly free but well-protected."

SCORPIO

(Qct«23-Nov. 21): I've heard rumors about a ragtag tribe of urban pagans that worships m e as a demi-god and regards my "Real Astrology" column as the scriptures of a new religion. According to my European spies, this group consists largely of twentysomething American ex-patriates. They're squatting in empty office

buildings in Amsterdam, and have set up the "independent spiritual homeland" of "Brezsneesh." I'm honored, in a perverse kind of way, but I really hope they don't try to get me to come and bless them personally. W h a t would you do, Scorpio, if a bunch of people began spinning out all sorts of fanciful fantasies about who you are? Don't laugh. It's happening even as we speak.

S A G I T T A R I U S <NOV. 22-Dec. 21): It'll be a good week to wake up sleepers, avoid spectator sports and refuse to let Machiavellian primates get away with dirty lies. It'll be a bad week to go with the flow of peer pressure or to fall victim to seemingly harmless trends. You'll arouse lots of cosmic assistance if you try to restore the morale of your troops with honesty and if you resist demands to water down your brave ideas. You'll attract bad luck if you kiss the feet of jerks on pedestals or venerate the ground that experts walk on. Finally, Sagittarius, it'll be prime time to write your own version of the book Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive.

CAPRICORN

20-Feb. 18): W h y do some people b u n g e e - j u m p off bridges or hang-glide off steep cliffs? W h y did I throw myself into the world's tallest water slide, T h e Annihilator, barreling down over 300 feet of twists and turns in a claustrophobic tube so flooded with splashing spray that I could hardly take a breath? T h e answer, at least in m y case, is that testing the limits of my physical courage sends a potent message to my subconscious m i n d that I'm ripe for more metaphorical risks. W h i c h inevitably attracts fascinating challenges into my life. Sound like an approach you'd like to emulate? I hope so. T h e stars dearly want you to. H o w about a nice roller-coaster ride or white-water rafting trip sometime soon:?

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): C a n you thrive as a topdog after all these centuries as an underdog? Is it possible you'll be imaginatively aggressive in using your fresh new credit after these eons of doggedly paying your dues? If you ask me, I say a thousand times yes! and. I will be praying to the Goddess of Sacred Reversals that it be so. O n e warning: Objects in the mirror appear smaller and farther away than they actually are. ®

(Dec. 22-

Jan. 19): You now have a tremendous opportunity to shrink the proportion of profane time in your life and greatly expand the sacred time. To begin the process of becoming alert to all the clues about how to d o that*-3tudy : these defmitiosis, P R O F A N E T I M E : the numbing 95; survival mode; endless skirmishing with the clock; reacting with ojf-balance stop-gap measures to the constant flow of trivializing crises. S A C R E D T I M E : attuned to the hum at the center of your soul; inhabiting the sweet spot where heaven merges with Earth; seeing simply and clearly where

You

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84 Boxer remark Roberto 48 Arabic title 86 Overact 50 Pleasantly 88 Part 3 of pudgy remark 52 Cleveland's lake 91 For instance 53 Antique auto 92 Richard of 54 Cambridge "Empire" univ. 93 Slanted 55 Spine-tingling 94 Leam fast? 57 Bodybuilder 96 Couch coach? 99 Papeete's Charles 59 Shade of plaice 102 Them brown 104 The Mertzes' 61 "Boy — income Dolphin' 62 Stuck-up sort 105 Bowl over 63 Hurler 106 Be nosy 107 Actor Hershiser Connery 64 14 Down's title 108 Unfinished 65 Part 2 of 111 Shirley's remark sidekick 72 Confined to 113 End of remark a cot 117 Ike's domain 73 Ian of Time 118 Avoid the Bandits" t truth 74 Portent 119 Property 75 "Starpeace" 120 Ho Chi Minh artist City, once 76 Fish for a dish 121 Incite Rover 78 Oxford sight 122 Run up the 80 Accent phone bill feature 123 Considered 81 Glowing 124 Smallest 42 Pianist Peter 82 Dollop DOWN 43 Southern St. 83 Stallion's 1 Legendary $W8©ti© 44 Start of a Arthur

2 Ran in the the fall 78 Comic Mort 36 Captivate wash 79 Atomic parbde 37 Sign of spring 80 Soho street3 Cravings 38 "Ninotchka" 4 Sky light? cars star 83 1,102. to 5 Frustrate 41 Trinity" Calpumia 6 Asset author 85 Weekend 7 Lambie-pie 43 Cover story? warriors: abbr. 8 Hairpiece, 44 Moreau's 87 Dissolve slangiiy 89 Shade of creator 9 Esteem yellow 45 Rubble 10 Completed 90 Completely rousing? a deal 46 Papal name 94 Make up one's 11 Journalist mind 47 Mauna — Pyle 49 Took a break 95 Estimation 12 Balloon 50 Classy doc? 96 Field of study material? 51 Let out early 97 Comes closer 13 Humorist 98 Strengthen 56 Author Buchwald and temper Bagnold 14 Former 99 ScheheraIranian leader 58 Really rain zade's output 59 Nickels and 15 Brother, to dimes 100 Cremona Bardot craftsman 60 Stout wood 16 Cook for a crowd 63 Redolence 101 Cry — (warn) 17 Spassk/s 64 British 103 Fiddled (with) game weapon 106 Go after 107 Risked a ticket 19 African 66 Cable scavenger channel 108 Baltic city 24 Was obligated 67 Fagin, for one 109 Alvin Childress role 26 "American 68 "Forget It!" Graffiti" 69 Fed. agent 110 Left director 70 Johnny of 112Peeplesof the Colts "Fame" 30 Luxurious 114 L.A. player fabric 71 Heady 115 Sault — 32 Brake part 76 Preston's Marie, Mich. 33 Make much of rank: abbr. 116 Father's Day 34 Final 77 Pigeon gift 35 Work in English?

check at

www.realastrology.com/ Updated

Tuesday

last week's answers

ACROSS 1 Void 6 A few words 12 Once around the track 15 TV watchdog agcy. 18 Olivier/Caine mystery 20 More garish 21 Epoch 22 Super Bowl shout 23 Speaker of the remark 25 Olympic contender 27 Begley and Bradley 28 Catcalls? 29 Ancient epic 31 Draws in 32 Trig function 33 Ben of "Roots" 35 Tour-deFrance entrants 36 Humpty Dumpty, essentially 39 Cut the payroll 40 It gets into

day

your

night.

to respond to a personal ad call 1-900-370we're open 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be guidelines: Anyone seeking a

hea; Se in • PERSON TO PERSON. Ad suggestions: age range, interests, • • lifestyle, self-description. Abbreviations may be used to indicate I fgender, race, religion and sexual preference. SEVEN DAYS reserves the! right to edit or reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submitted for publication only by, and seeking, persons over t8 years of age.

Call _ 1-800-710-8727 ^

WPDF, 114 LBS., 5»2", 54, LIKES WALKING, biking, Fishing, sunsets & baseball. Looking for someone, 52-60, who is sincere, honest & cares. LTR. 3605

to charge d i r e c t l y to y o u r credit card. $ i . 9 9 / m i n u t e . m u s t be 18

ZEST FOR LIFE. He's 45-55, tall, good-looking, passionate, good sense of humor, physically fit, loves nature and healthy living. She's 47, attractive, adventurous, kind-hearted, enjoys nature, health, culture. 3606

O r Call

1-900-370-7127 $ i . 9 9 / m i n u t e . m u s t be 18+.

AHHI SUMMER'S NEARLY OVERI Casual professional, 27, NS, ISO biking, climbing, adventure counterpart; worldliness, intellectual conversation, fun. Small-town life is swell, but small. Help! My cow friends can't ride bikes! 3479 KISSING'S MY FAVORITE FOOD. Nordic milkmaid goddess type, 24, loquacious, multitextured and metaculturalist seeks arty geek, 22-33ish, for a little dating action and introductory flirting. Call or write. 3483 DWP, 48, INTERESTED IN FUN-LOVING, independent, honest & passionate individual. Love XC-skiing, hiking, canoeing, good conversation, music. Ready to meet... time to move on. 3483

M&kwqiYMl

DJF, ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, SLIGHTLY obnoxious and sarcastic sense of humor, looking for slightly gorgeous, sarcastic male, 38-46. Must acquiesce to regular doses of Marx bros., martinis, Mozart. 3487

A SPIRITED GYPSY, YET DAYLIGHT TRANSforms me into a corporata officianada... SWF, 34, wanting someone to fly with the gypsys and nest with the rest. Call for nest-building schedule. 3700 SWP, 45, NURTURER OF GARDEN AND SOUL; Milosz, Miles and Mozart; seeks man of compassion and cultivation for friendship and possible LTR. 3711

SPUNKY SWF, 5'5", 125 LBS., 37, CURLY, green. Off-beat professional, faithful, adventuresome, attractive, analytical. Can hike mountains, cut sheetrock, sing, pick wine, rub feet, talk. Seeks sensual, literate, exploring, can-do man, 33-42. 3450

WARM-HEARTED, YOUNG-SPIRITED DWF, 45, fun-loving, high energy, liberal thinker who likes all the regular stuff and (maybe?) more. Strong opinions, but open-minded. ISO M,

» * » » «

WHEN YOU CAN FEEL THAT INCREDIBLE, special connection, time stops and the world disappears in these other eyes... SWPM, in shape and good-looking, seeks pretty woman, 27-37, for everything that's so important. 3708

: I « » »

ROMEO SEEKS JULIET. DWM, 40S, s'9". 155 lbs., engaging, open-minded, appealing, proportionate, youthful, athletic. Great kisser and lover. Into having fun indoors and out. Call for more information. 3712

ISO GOLFING PARTNER. PDWF, 51,135 lbs., 5'3", brown hair, blue eyes, likes theater, dining, dancing, walks. ISO good-hearted, honest, sincere, optimistic, fun-loving, emotionally/financially secure PSWM, 46-56. 3410

: ; « * I

DWPM, 38, DAD, PHYSICALLY FIT, INTO hiking, skiing, looking at the stars, and getting to know a sexy, intelligent, somewhat conservative woman who has some of the same interests, 30-40.

SWF, 26, 5'3", LOOKING FOR SWM, 28-35, who likes motorcycle riding, children, dancing, has an outgoing attitude and a positive outlook. Stability is a plus. 3418

J I l I I

DWM, YOUNG-LOOKING 45, BR./BR., SHORT, sweet, sentimental, romantic, very goodlooking, smoker, ND, excellent physical shape. Seeks F for companionship, dining out, dancing. Slender to average build. 3715

j * * * «

SWM, 37, TEACHER WHO ENJOYS NATURE, art, psychology, snowshoeing, hiking, movies, reading and good coffee. Seeking intense, but fun connection with an attractive, unusual and quirky F, 25-40.

38-50. 3400

SPF, ATTRACTIVE, FIT, ORGANIZED, flexible, hard-working, avid horsewoman, NS w/ zest for life. Enjoy giving & receiving, quiet country living, working out, varied interests. Will be on cruise. ISO mature, gentle man who thinks life's an adventure to share. 3408

SINGLE SOUL SEEKING STEREOTYPICAL (2535, NS) suitor: seductive, scholarly, strong, stable, spontaneous & sweet. She savors skiing, sailing, skating, strength-training & sweating. Which 5 words sanctify you? 3419 FRIEND, COMPANION, LOVER WANTED. DWPF, attractive, 45, 5*4", 145 lbs., seeking emotionally secure companion who enjoys campfires, drive-ins, dancing, traveling, dining, movies & more. My passions: animals & gardening. 3426

FRIENDLY CUP OF COFFEE? 38 Y O WIDOWER/ father, former Peace Corps volunteer, teacher, NS. Sensitive, recreational, attractive, adventuresome. Are you the attractive, like-minded woman, 29-42, who might join me at Borders? 3718

BENEATH THE MASK. Who am I? Who are you? Let's explore the journey side by side. Through the revealed heart we create the shared heart. 3430

HAVE Y O U RUN NAKED THROUGH FILEDS, taken dips in mountain streams, enjoyed eros for its own sake? Two naturists need answers from Fs or BiFs. 3719

COUNTRY GIRL, SWF, BRN. EYES/HAIR, 5*9", loves country music, hiking, backpacking & nature. Seeks SWPM, 22-30, 6' +. 3433 YOU: SPM, 40+, EXTROVERTED, INTELLIGENT, spirited, kind-hearted, loyal. Me: SPF, 43, extroverted, intelligent, spirited, kind-hearted, loyal. Come on, have a relationship with yourself (almost). It'll be fun. 3434

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wwwn

28 YO VERMONTER FOLLOWING HIS BLISS. Hard-working philosopher/writer/musician who knows his trees seeks a beautiful "earth woman" who is comfortable with herself and the world around her. 3720 : * I I ia

TAKE FRIENDSHIP, ADD WATER AND STIR. Where the So. Burlington mall buildings are blue, I will meet you. Think music. M, 50s, seeking SF, NS, for friendship, maybe more.

SWM, 36, VERY FIT, TAN, TALL & WAY CUTE. Was monk, punk, trucker, mailman. Paradoxical, insightful, shy. Never married, no kids. Adventurous, patient, athletic, thinker, willing to share the remote. 3697

3670

PETITE ASIAN F, 32, PRETTY & SHY, SEEKING a Bluedoor.com type guy to unleash my passions on. Must be patient, clean, NS. 3716

INSTANT ACCESS

A FALL FRUIT TREE NEEDS PICKING, SO PICK me and see how sweet I'd be if a relationship had a chance to grow. Good-natured, very kind. Need some care. 3675 ISO FIT, ATTRACTIVE, HONEST PWM, 35-45, who can write me letters, call at midnight to say hi, who enjoys hiking, biking, music. I am slender, attractive DWF. Any takers? 3684

BEAUTIFUL, HIGH-MAINTENANCE DIVA ISO: attractive, low-maintenance bodyguard/ handyman. Send photo of tools. Carry-on baggage, only. 3613 DPF, SLIM, 40S, ATTRACTIVE, LOOKING FOR a free spirit who grew up, but not old, who works with people in need as a teacher, social worker, public-interest lawyer, etc. Often agrees with Katha Pollitt, who is at least 5'8", strong and very sensuous. 3616 ANY HONEST & TRUSTING MEN WHO AREN'T taken? I'm 30-something and would like a relationship on a more permanent basis, of similar age. Not a couch tater, but out going.

2652 WONDER WOMAN SEEKS ELASTIC MAN OR Space Ghost for adventure. Shaggy & Scooby, you stay in the Mystery Machine. This is a job for Superman. 3653 WOULD LIKE TO CORRESPOND WITH A DBCM with old-fashioned values. Friendship first, possibly more. I'm a DWCF, 32, with many interests in life. Honesty and trust a must. No head games allowed. 3655 NOT YOUR AVERAGE FEMALE. Well-established DF, 42, with teenager, looking for a wonderful, sensitive & caring man to share biking, canoeing, long walks, pets. Let's cook up some fun. 3654 AGING, RED-HAIRED HIPPIE, NS, ND, NO TV, seeks similiar, 40-55 (or so) who likes: books, food, swimming, exploring new places, movies, solitude, cuddling, life! 3495

QUESTIONS? LOVELY, PETITE REDHEAD, FUN, FUNNY, classy! Likes movies, Flynn, travel, good con; versation. ISo tall, fit, attractive gent (be honest!), NS, 35-45. Do these ads really ; work? 3455 ; SWF, NO KIDS, VERY TALL, RUBENESQUE, ; seeks Burlington man, 37-47- Enjoys politics, \ environmental science, sailing, swimming. ; Leave name and number; if it's in the book, • I'll return call. 3470

SF, NS, SEEKING FRIENDSHIP, PERHAPS LTR, with M, 55-65. I like to dance, garden, try to J figure out the world—lots of things. Seeking ATTRACTIVE, SPIRITUAL, ARTISTIC SWF, mid! mature attitude and play. 3474 40s, who is a smoker, ND, seeks handsome, I SWF, 37, NS, TALL, SLENDER, BROWNISH financially & emotionally secure SWM, 40-55, blonde, blue eyes, independent, attractive. I who likes to travel, dine in/out, ride horses. Love waterskiing, horse-back riding, fishing, 3506 : hiking, dancing, cooking. ISO sexy, humorSWF, ICONOCLAST WHO ENJOYS WATCHING J ous, trustworthy, fun, athletic S/DWM, 33-44. hilarity ensue, seeking minimally self-aggran- » 3403 dizing male for interesting dates who won't ; mind being filmed for a cable-access show. J Age, rave, interests unimportant, unless you J think they whould be. 3604 I

Simply call 800-710-87g£|^hen prompted, enter,yotf ^ d t card #. Use the sef^io&l&f aslong as you like. When you hang up, your credit card will be directly billed $lJHH)er min.

SKI TIME. SWM, 38, 6', 190 LBS., SELFemployed prof., seeks healthy, trim SWF, 2735, with education, sense of humor, posotive attitude and energy for skiing, boating, hiking, pondering and general whackiness.

3699 21 Y O M LOOKING FOR FUNNY, WITTY F, 1830. I'm a musician and love to have fun. People say humor is my best quality. If you're looking to find your smite and put the romance back in your life, I'm your man! 37Q1 HANDSOME WIDOWER, 50, WITH EXCELLENT seats to Flynn on 9/10, seeks blond arm candy. Greying, mature sweeties most welcome. 3702 CONSCIOUS, AWAKE, SPIRITUAL, GREEN businessman, risk taker, 46. You: deeply spiritual, very awake, not ruled by your past, fears or hurts. Victimless. Courageous. Emotionally available. Attractive. Alive & thriving. 3704

The ether night cur family returned twe-week

from a

vacation.

no 40oner gotten

I had

the

crabby kids to bed my husband

than

was all over

me. I was pretty tired too and, frankly,

tired of

him after an

eight-hour

car ride home. I "conceded" to his sexual appetite,

but I have to

say it always seems to

I'M 43, DIVORCED W/ 3 KIDS I SHARE visitation rights. I'm searching for someone special to be friends first, love, build a future with, t treat women with great respect. 3683

the mood. What's up

SOME PEOPLE CALL ME CUTE. I D O N T KNOW if they are being sarcastic, but if you enjoy sarcasm, I would like to mee you. BiWM, 26, geek, NS. 3687 ; l ; » • I

SHE'S OUT THERE. ELEGANT, SENSUAL, intelligent, kind-hearted, loves nature & healthy living, 37-47ish. Me: DWM, tall, good-looking, principled, outgoing, mischievous & passionate. Have zest for life & emotionally available. 3689

I * » I -

DJPM, 48, W/ KIDS, 5'8", NS, RURAL, CTRL VT, healthy, cheerful, energetic, housebroken. Eclectic interests: hiking, skiing, gardening, reading, writing, music, more. ISO friend, companion, partner, LTR. 3693

* WALKS, TALKS, PERCHANCE TO DANCE. SWPM, 37, with graduate degree, enjoys ; hikes, conversation, dancing, X Files, Ally I McBeal, NPR and occasional fine glass of I wine. Seeks SWF for friendship, possible ; LTR. 3694

pop up when I'm not in

with that, and how should I

respond?

Fed Up in

INDUSTRIOUS MAVERICK, ASPIRING SLACKER, 40. Cute, funny, well-read, athletic, evolving (OK, glacially). Seek bright, attractive, creative F for companionship, kicks, quietude... possible arteest-ic entrepreneurial collaboration. 3611 '47 MODEL FORD, GOOD HEALTH W/ ALL MY wheel covers and lug nuts. Looking for passengers who enjoy travel, beach, cuddling, and more. Call before inspection & registration runs out. 3614 SWPM, 39, FUNNY, ATTRACTIVE, EASY-GOING romantic. Loves golfing, hiking, biking, music, movies, dining out. Must be spontaneous, easy-going, love to travel, also veg on the couch & cuddle. 3615 SWM. 3 t , LOOKING FOR FEMALE, 27-32. who enjoys outdoors, hiking, biking, skiing and also likes to spend quiet times at home. 3612

Ferrisburgh

Dear Fed Up, What about ycur

sex

drive? When do you get revved up? Do you ever take the wheel, or are you perpetually

planted

in the back seat,

waiting

to see where he's

headed

next? If you pitch in and participate

• HATE TO DATE. SAGACIOUS, 40+ WOMAN ; sought. Qualifying hurdle: How does one cre; ate a nurturing place where intimacy may J grow? Baffled? Then join me for Woody Allen ; film binge and distracted pondering. 3695 J ; ; ;

Dear Lcla,

LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ONE: 45-55, DWF who likes everything country, NS, NA, with good conversation along w/ great company. Start w/ friendship, maybe more later. 3681

FUN-LOVING, SENSUAL, SELF-EMPLOYED artist and (moderate) Red Sox fen, 40's, looking for sexy, intelligent, responsible companion, 30-45, who wants to help root the Yankees into second place. 3685

I With Instant Access you can respond to | Person <1o> Person ads 24hrs. a day, seven days a week from any touch tone phone including pay phones and phones w/ 900 blocks.

BEAUTIFUL ARTIST, 35, ISO SOUL companion who mirrors all the wonderful qualities I have to share. Good wine, food & friends, forest walks & silk make me smile. 3691

SWM, 32, LOOKS YOUNGER, ISO SF WHO wants fun, is honest, likes to be treated mice and will give same in return. Someone older or mature enough for helathy Campanionship. 3723

18+.

in your

al scheduling,

sexu-

you'll feel

less obliged to go with his program.

It you're

in neutral,

stuck

you may

need a lube job. Try a quiet park on lover's lane, sans enfjanU. If he only gets off on

stripping

gears and burning

rub-

ber, ycur marriage

may

need a major Love,

tune-up. §

duola

Or respond t h e old-fashioned way: CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1-900-370-7127 $l.99/mfn. must be i8+

September 1, 1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page S t

don't want a charge on your phone bill? call 1-800-710-8727 and use your credit card. 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be 18+. ANGEL WANTED. 47, 5 ' u " , 160 LBS., FIT, ambitious, healthy, hard-working, NS, ND, likes animals, working, country walks, friends, cuddling, romance. ISO attractive, fit, healthy angel. 3594

Asskinq watnm, ami LOOKING FOR A BEST FRIEND OR MORE? DWPM, 40, NS, fit and very attractive, seeks lady, 25-45, with similar qualities for friendship or possible LTR. Finally, a nice guy!

1656 '58 VINTAGE, NO BACKSEAT REQ'D. Not worn, but wise. Many interests, few needs. Fit, professional, clever with common sense. If you're similar, or just interested, respond with questions or answers. 3660 BALDING & BEAUTIFUL. ATTRACTIVE, FIT SWM, 40, NS, enjoys life, the outdoors, running, canoeing, tennis, dancing, cooking, sex and quiet evenings. Seeking attractive, fit, NS F, 21-40, with similar interests. 3664 NATURE, OUTDOOR EXERCISE, TRAVEL AND good books represent this fit SWPM, 42. ISO / r-rfr^ fit, intelligent woman with humor who would like to accompany me in life's ramble across diversified landscapes. 3665 43 YO NICE GUY LIKES HIKING, SKIING, MY two boys, equality, music, good food, bookstores, long conversations, drumming. Homophobes, smokers, please read next ad. Take a chance, I am. 3668 SWM, 31, GENTLE, FIT & FUNNY. I love music, art and the outdoors. Seeking an attractive SF, NS, 24-34, who likes to play in the rain. 3503 MOONLIGHT AND MORE. WARM, ATTRACTIVE, educated SWPM, young 50s, seeks woman of quality and integrity—kind, intelligent, spiritual yet sophisticated—to explore the outdoors, the arts and the world together. 3504 COUCH POTATOES NEED NOT APPLY. SWM, 45. 5'5". into the active life, needs a sensual ^ m m g F to share it with. Like native women, French-Canadian women. Ability to parler le Francais a +. Live for the outdoors. Contact me for adventure. 3505 LOOKING FOR SOMEONE W/ SENSE OF humor, 27-37, over 5'8". Needs to know what she wants from a man & in life. I'm 35, divorced, tall, good shape & great sense of humor. 25°Z WANTED: ENTHUSIASTIC TRAVELER FOR roads less traveled. Likes different people, places, customs, religions, culture & is welleducated. Enjoys Vivaldi, Billie Holiday, folk, arts, crafts, painting. Spiritually grounded and growing. Candle-lit bubble bath. ISO 50+ NSPF. 3510 SAILING PARTNER, NS, FOR SAILING ON LAKE Champlain or Maine coast. Sailing experience is not a requirement, but good physical condition and a sense of humor are a definite plus. 3511 FRIENDS TELL ME T H E R E ARE SO MANY women that would be interested. You're attractive, sensitive, light-hearted, present, sometimes intense." Prove them right, please. NSPM, 50s, ISO attractive F with „ grace & substance. 3592

SWM, 41, SEEKING THAT SPECIAL LADY! Do you enjoy golf, camping, dining out, movies, weekend get-aways, playing cards & more? Looking for someone humorous, easy-going & down-to-earth, with similar interests. Let's talk. 3596 LET THE GOOD TIMES BEGIN." SWM, 28, 6', enjoys dining, sunset walks, Rollerblading, tennis, ISO SWF, NS, 23-30, attractive, honest, confident, big heart, zest for fun. Possible LTR or just having fun. 3597 I'M A ONE-WOMAN MAN LOOKING FOR A ONEman woman. LTR possibly leading to youknow-what. Interested? Let's get the party started right! Serious lady only. 3600 SPIRITUAL, HEALTHY, MOSTLY VEGETARIAN, cute/handsome, active, cultured, humorous, musical, sensual, affectionate, articulate SPM. Enjoys heart-felt communications, nature, dancing, healing. ISO attractive F, up tp 43, who relates to these values. 3601 HEY, YOU. WOMAN WHO NEVER ANSWERS ads. Vou are getting sleepy. Your eyes are getting heavy. SWM, 35, confused, absurd person seeks date. Thank you very much. (When you awake, you will remember nothing of this.) 3603 IF YOU HAVE HEARD THE SOUND OF ONE hand clapping, and you long to be back in time before you were given a face, you are the one that I have looked for. Contact me and we will plan our escape. 3607 ACTUALLY VOTED "BEST FRIEND" IN H.S. Tall, dark and handsome, more educated than I'll ever use, ISO athletic, attractive & intelligent SF, 25-33, w h o reads these, but hasn't ever responded to one. 3608 MAN, EXPERIENCED! Starting second half of life with open mind. 3476 EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE. SWM, 38, NS, ND, vegetarian, 5 ' n " , 185 lbs., cute, sweet, solid and flexible. Excellent listener, deply intuitive. Homeowner. Passions: swim, dance, cuddles, singing, outdoor everything, honesty. You are under 40, athletic. 3478 TWO ACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, FUNNY, FORMER VT guys vacationing on Lk. Champlain looking for slender, fun-loving females for boating, tennis, conversation and cool-outs. 3486 HOPELESS ROMANTIC LOOKING FOR LOVE. Successful, honest, fun-loving, Jewish, 40something looking for best friend, lover and soulmate to explore life together. You'll never know if this happens unless you call. 3488 SEEKING A LADY, 30-50, FOR SHARING LIKE interest in Civil War, alternative sources of energy, etc. I'm a widower. I own my home and am financially secure. 3490 VERY SUCCESSFUL, BRIGHT, CASUAL GUY, 34, seeks sexy, smart, beautiful woman, 223oish, for dinners, music, outdoors, friendship, pillow talk, time at length. I'm tall, fit, funny, handsome, sometimes shy, have lots to share. 3494

D y k e s ToWafcrli O t t f f o e

LEARNED mrsypf«y

FWSHEDA BWiCUlARLy PRURIENT PORTION

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HI, THERE. I'M SINGLE, 34, LIVING IN N.E. Kingdom, seeking an honest, caring F to share dreams, hopes & special times with. 5*9", 195 lbs., br. eyes/hair/mustache. If you're into having fun, laughing, good conversation & great company, then respond! Will answer all. 3447 SEEK SMART, ATTRACTIVE, PASSIONATE partner to share conversation, nature, campfire, movies, seashore, rainy afternoons, ethnic cuisine, cultural events, growth. I'm intelligent, attractive, passionate, open-minded, progressive, 40s. Near St. Johnsbury. 3449 SWM, 32, EUROPEAN GOOD LOOKS, TALL, fit. Enjoys wandering, healthy eats, salsa, dancing, foreign languages. ISO adventurous soul-miner, 22-42, serious about herself and life, but into frollicking. 3451 RECIPE FOR MY BUDDY: DASH OF ADVENTURE, sprinkles of sincerity, humor folded into joy of biking, hiking, canoeing and the arts, simmered in at least 40 yrs. meets this late 40s SPM's taste. 3454 WM ISO F, 30-50, TO PLEASURE, TEASE AND please. Attractive, handsome, 26, blond, gm.-eyed, clean & discreet. Looking to fulfill a special woman's desires, needs and fantasy. Race unimportant. 3469 DWM, 48, TALL, FIT, PROFESSIONAL, RELATIVELY sane, musician. Into bicycling, sailing, hiking, skiing, dining, travel. Seeking attractive, slender companion, 30-45, to share laughter, perspicacity and spirit. 3471 SWM, 50ISH, FIT, READY FOR THE adventures of life. Loves gardening, traveling, walks in the moonlight, or just hanging out. 3409 ATHLETIC, HONEST, SHY SWM, 37, 5*5". NS, ISO friendly, active, younger SWF for friendship & LTR. I enjoy running, skiing, mountain biking, Rollerblading, hiking, water activities & more. Do you? 3411 COUCHES WEREN'T DESIGNED FOR JUST ONE person to sit on. SM, NS, seeks honest, active SF, 24-30, to enjoy life with. I love hockey & riding my bicycle. What do you like to do? 3412 WHAT ABOUT LOVE? Don't you want someone to care about you? Tall, blue-eyed SWPM ISO stellate-eyed SWF for soulmate. Don't let the summer moon find you alone.

2413 YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL, FOCUSED. BUSY, determined, etc. that men are intimidated. I'm WDP dad, late 40s, attractive, ready to laugh; lover of romantic dinners, museums, quiet walks and leisurely talks. 3414 EXPLORE VERMONT. DWM, 35, NO CHILDREN, smoker, social drinker. Been burnt, no games, ND, no lean-ons. Just old-fashioned girl, any race, age, or looks—not fussy. 3415 SWM, 37. TEACHER WHO LIKES HIKING, BUT hates hypocrisy. A nice guy! Seeks SF, 25+, who lives authentically and possesses an independent spirit. 3416

b y Alison 8ecM*l

HAS JUST

VATFS^

ACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, PLAYFUL, PHYSICAL, sensual kind. Sensitive, affectionate, passionate, deep, 44, ISO partner for shadow dancing. You know what intimacy is. Willing to risk, take responsibility for yourself. Adventure, liberation, healing... 3445

September 1, 1 9 9 9

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker's Guide to VT from

SWM, 36, VERY FIT, TAN & WAY CUTE.

• "rtvc Outdoor Gear Cxcharxy--

Was monk, punk, trucker, mailman. Paradoxical, insightful, shy. Never married, no kids. Adventurous, patient, athletic, thinker, willing to share the remote.

used • doseout • new

191 Bank St, Burlington 860-0190

Winner also receives dinner for 2 at

>D A1LY 15 Center St., Burlington 862-9647

3697 DWPM: PHYSIOLOGICALLY 45, PSYCHOLOGICALLY, 37, chronologically older. Enjoys racquetball, bowling, biking, traveling, shopping, talking, listening, philosophy, politics, independence, sharing, driving, walking, dining in/out, movies, Ally McBeal. Seeks mentally/ physically fit. 3417 SWM, 35, 145 LBS., THIN, BURLINGTON, would like to spend time with laid-back female. I like to bike, travel, animals, kids. I have no kids, but yhey are welcome. NS, ND, let's talk. 3425 SWM, 31, 5'io", 190 LBS., ENJOYS BIKING, XC skiing, snowshoeing, philosophy, ghost stories by the fire. Believe we were put here to find love, a cup of coffee and stimulating conversation. 3432 RUTLAND AREA M, 52, INTERESTED IN starting a family with younger woman. Seek a down-to-earth, creative, intelligent, artistic F to settle down w/ & start a family. 3438 WPM, NS, SEEKING ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE, affectionate F, 36-46. My interests are biking, swimming, skiing, white-water rafting, canoeing, horseback riding, traveling, dining out, dancing. 3440 PEEL OFF MY LABEL! EVERYONE'S ALWAYS labeling me as a nice guy, yet you're saying you can't find me! Well, here's your chance. Professional, adventurous, outdoorsy guy whose multifarious life and personality seek their counterpart. 3387 NO SENSE OF HUMOR. 5'to", 165 LBS., BLUE eyes, good-looking, fit, 50, with hair & teeth. Enjoy dining, dancing, VSO, Barnes & Noble. ISO good-looking lady with sense of humor, preferably with hair & teeth. 3389

23 & FUN. TIRED OF HOOK-UPS, finally ready for real relationship. You: unique & loving, enjoy life. Big + if you like sleeping in. 3391 BUXOM LADIES WANTED, ANY AGE, NOT TOO overweight. Me: 4oish, sandy blonde, blue eyes, beard, glasses, 6', 200 lbs. Love fishing, hunting, Harleys, good movies, good dining, good loving. 3394 FIT, FUNKY & 55 W P M — N E W TO BURLINGTON area. Likes jazz, R&B, travel, gardening & reading. Seeking erudite & sultry F to see and enjoy the sights with. 3395

Aookinq women SEEKING AN EXTROVERTED, 30-SOMETHING, beautiful dyke who projects a strong countenance, yet has undeniable allure. Moi? Attractive preppie, enjoys being the mildly provocative accomplice! Prefer independent prof, who "passes," but socially leads lifestyle more out than in. 3724 GWF, 39, HONEST, SECURE, CARING, ISO GF, 20-40, for friendship, maybe more. Must be honest, secure and fun to be with. 3674 SEEKING SOULMATE (WITH A SENSE OF humor). Independent, honest GPF, 44, & cat seek special indiv. to share similar interests, including books, films, cooking, yoga, swimming, walking, animals & the quiet life in VT. ISO LTR w/ someone 35-50 YO. 3658

to respond to a personal ad call I-900-370-7127 $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older. we're open SWM, PROFESSIONAL, 44, 5 ' " " , 180 LBS. I love walks, talks, hiking, camping, biking, skiing, oceans, reading, the arts, movies, writing and gardening. Seeking an individual with similar interests. 3686 MaWF, Bi-CURIOUS, WONDERING WHAT I A M missing. Attractive, blonde, blue eyes, early 30s. Discretion needed and assured. Seeking Bi or Bi-curious to teach me. Looking for friendship plus whatever. 3662 SEARCHING FOR A VIKING GODDESS W/O THE EGO! Attractive 39 YO "preppie femme" seeking spirited GF, 25-35, who enjoys shopping, cafes, antique haunts. Desire a slowbuild friendship with definite chemistry. 3480 MUTUAL APPRECIATION REQUIRED. Vibrant, tall, slim, professional woman with dark hair & eyes. Many interesting and practical hobbies & pastimes, including outdoor activities, cooking and home maintenance. Seeking F, 28-36, for love, commitment and LTR. 3482 SF, 41, VERY UGLY, BORING PERSONALITY, no sense of humor, no appreciable qualities. Basically a loser. Believe that? Hmmm. 3448

Aookinq

BETA BEAR SEEKS ALPHA MALE FOR explorations in algolagnia. Submissive GWM, 40s, 5 ' n " , 190 lbs., balding, bearded, hairy-chested, seeks dominant men for kinky close encounters. Age, race open. Assertive attitude a must. All scenes considered. All replies answered. 3688 BIWM, 26, TEMPORARILY UNEMPLOYED dreamer seeks fairy prince to engage my mind. Let's spend our time enjoying film and music, biking and dancing. NS/ND. 3609 SUBMISSIVE MALE ENJOYS DIRTY TALK & IS eager to please a man who can be ripe, nasty & dirty. 3666 GWM, 40s, 5*9", 160 LBS., LOOKING TO MEET new friends and that special someone to share life with. Varied interests: outdoors, traveling, movies, music, romance. ISO sensitive, masculine GWM, 25-45. 3598 MID-20S, 5-9", 160 LBS., Bi-CURIOUS M seeks first-time experience with attractive, similar males under 30. Likes erotic massages, sports and other exciting activities. Let's have fun together. 3489 0 ' FIRMAMENT ON HIGH! I need the strength & support of a great relationship to be on my side! Care to give this a try? 3457

GAY CHRISTIAN IN NO. VT? SM, 42, ISO GM, 25-45, clean, discreet, outgoing, secure in personality & beliefs. Looking for LTR. 3672

LOOKING FOR A RUTLAND Bi GUY. BiWM, 31, ISO same, 21-40, for immediate mutual pleasure. First please me, then we plus she could make three. 3466

SWEETNESS & SASS. SENSUAL GWM, 35, seeks GM who usually wouldn't answer a personal, for friendship leading to monogamous intimacy leading to LTR — the way it should happen. 3682

To respond to Letters Only ads:

WPM, EARLY-40S, 5'io", 175 LBS., masculine top, handsome, intelligent, adventurous, travel, camping. ISO masc. bottom, 30-45.

3420 WANTED: A FEW GOOD MEN, 18-45, CLEAN, ND/NA, discreet, honest, sincere and not into head games. In either Burlington or Rutland area for oral fun. 3437

3657 HOT, FUN & EXPERIENCED CU ISO PBiF/M/CU to get down. No commitment, pure pleasure. Losers need not apply. 3659

SWBiM SEEKS F WHO LIKES TO STRAP-ON. SF, CU, beginners welcome. 3502 WBiCU, BOTH ATTRACTIVE; HE'S 40ISH, she's 3oish. ISO handsome WBiM for friendship, fun, fantasy and fulfillment. 30-45 YO, ND, NA. Please help us fulfill our lives. 3661

INTELLIGENT, ARTICULATE, WIDELY READ woman wanted, with good taste, good manners, indoor and outdoor interests andpossessed of a lively prose style. Let's correspond before meeting. Box 587

woman A&rfdnq man

THERE'S GOT TO BE SOMEONE OUT THERE, preferably a writer, NS/NS/NA, healthy, nice body, nature lover, some money, who can handle me. Same, 40+, yoga. Box 579

LETS IGNITE A FRIENDSHIP, HOPE FOR more. SWF, NS, 53, dark, slim, optimistic, centered, fit, full of fire, has indoor/outdoor interests, adores music, animals, country living. ISO kindred spirit, 4QS-50S. Box 590

ARTIST/ACADEMIC SEEKS MAN OVER 40 W/ fondness for humor, oceans, books, gentle music, conversation, travel, country club activities, gifted children, philanthropy, attractive brunettes. Box 573

SEEKING MY GODDESS, THE SORCERESS OF nature who would command my heart. Me: 5'io", long hair, blue eyes, slim & strong. Man of the mountains, child of the waters. Photo, please. Box 588

SWCF, 29, EASTERN EUROPEAN, FIT, attractive, educated, loves animals, being outdoors, reading and cooking, seeks SWCM, 28-40, wit similar interests for LTR. Box 591

WWi, 50, AFFECTIONATE, HUMOROUS, bookworm, devout, physically active, land-loving mother looking for a down-to-earth, gentle companion with similar proclivities. Box 574

ATTRACTIVE BPF, 42, 5'9", SPIRITUAL, romantic, NS, with children, looking for a gorgeous American M, educated & honest, for friendship, possible LTR. Box 592

EAST SEEKS WEST: KIEV CUTIE, 29, FIT, FUN, educated, spiritual, loves animals and the outdoors, seeks SWM, 28-38, with international interests. Box 572 __

LONG, COOL, BRUNETTE DRINK W/ PANACHE. SWF, 40s, seeks intellectual SWM iconoclast w/ machismo & work ethic. NW Vermont/ Montreal. Box 596 ATTRACTIVE BPF, 40, s'8", 155 LBS, educated, enjoys outdoors, tennis, movies, seeking handsome PM, 35-42, NS, for LTR. Must like kids, honest, good sense of humor. If chemistry is there, let's grow together. Photo appreciated. Box 593

ACTIVE LIFESTYLES GUY WANTED. Attractive, fit SWF, NS, enjoys biking, walking, boating, working out, skiing, travel, blading and more, seeks caring, adventurous, honest, fit, humorous SWM, NS, 35-45, with same interests. Photo appreciated. Box 569

mm As&kinq wjomm RETIRED, SINGLE, PERSONABLE MAN OF merit seeks companionship of F w/ integrity for LTR and mutual nurturing. 45-55 YO with modest income to share in full-time RV lifestyle. Box 586

WANTED: HARD-WORKING MAN BORN IN lune or July, around 1970. Athletic, loving and very kind. Stowe area. Box 597

3481

DTBOUCGD. Y O U : BEAUTY W/ CURLY BROWN locks, shiny blue eyes, approx. 5'2". Me: short brown hair, hazel eyes. Heard you having fun w/ lady friends. Can I join? 3710

CU SEEKING F FOR THREESOME. ALSO FOR friendship, fun and fantasy fullfilment. Both early 30s. Please help us find the right person. Must be discreet. 3599

JENN AT THE MATTERHORN IN STOWE: We shared a wonderful salad! I'm telling the world that you are awesome and first-class!! Wanna hear some more? 3714 BURLINGTON BREAKFAST W1ATRESS: We met at Camp Oswego. You: Coleman stove. Me: High five, four-wheel drive. Drop me a line, I'll get you to the show on time. 3721

BiWM, MID-20S, TALL, HANDSOME & FIT, seeking attractive, fit BiF or M, or CU for pleasurable, adventuresome fun. Race not important. 3467

TWO DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS WOMEN drinking coffee on Church St. w/ lucky guy!! You're a nurse reading "I Spy" with sensual eyes. Valuptuous friend sells butterfly clips at mall.

THE ONLY THING SEPARATING US WAS THE bar where you work at Halverson's. Do not run to California. Come make sweet music with me, baby...if you like big women. 3698 HINESBURG BAKERY, SUN. MORNING, 8/22. You: dark hair, red shirt, jeans. Me: light brown hair, reading the paper and having coffee with a friend. I'd like to meet you. Coffee? 3703 SMUGGLER NOTCH, RAINY SATURDAY, 8/21. You: originally from Minneapolis living in Burlington, black VW. Me; soaking wet, from Stowe, black truck. Meet again?

TRAVELED, RURAL WiWF, 47, ISO PARTNER for life's 2nd half. Tall, attractive, sturdy, active. Educated professional, romantic soul. Enjoy traveling, exploring shared interests, new ones, too. NS. Ctrl. VT. Box 578

Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlingtoh, VT 05402

ORAC 25th BIRTHDAY PARTY, MONTPELIER, before Terrence Simeon. Tom: blond, mustache, glasses. Me: dark curly hair, purple shirt. Sorry I slipped away before we reckoned out past connection. Please call! 3709

SWPM, 30S, PASSIVE, SEEKS AGGRESSIVE SF, height/weight proportionate. For LTR. monogamous. Likes: discipline, spanking, Xdress, etc. 3667 SM, YOUTHFUL, HAPPY, HEALTHY, HORNY 81 discreet, seeks a CU, 25-45, yearning to unleash its most passionate carnal desires w/ an energetic, long-lasting male. 3509

ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT WOMAN (FARAWAY, green, soulful eyes), loving heart sought. Adirondack eco-farmer, visionary, steel sculptor seeks kindred spirit, 30s, needing wild, dream home, romance, uplifting endeavors. Box 575 SIGNIFICANT M SEEKS SIGNIFICANT OTHER. I'm 40, you should be over 30, under 50. Looking for someone whose fancy I can tickle. Feeling frisky? Let's write and feel each other out. Box 570

SWM, CANADIAN-EUROPEAN ACADEMIC, fondness for books, music, travel, nature, art; easy-going and open. Seeks woman, 35+, with similarities and sense of humor. Spiritual & communicative. Box 595 WRITE AND I'LL BRING YOU A ROSE. YOU ARE mid- to late-4os. I'm mid-sos, We prefer sunrise over sunsets, appreciation of antiques, have artistic abilities, a strong devotion to family. Could be vegetarians. Box 584 HUMANIST PROFESSIONAL MALE; TALLER, smarter, stronger, freer than most; seeks female counterpart, healthy in mind and body, read to enjoy the present moment. 4osto early 50s; northern VT, please. Box 577 LEAVING FOR VAIL MID-OCTOBER. SWM, 4oish, tall, tailed musician seeks Winter Wife, semi-lean traveler, no cigs., yellers. Share life, Vail apt., expenses. Pretty, ticklish feet a plus. Box 581 I WANT TO SLOW DANCE. DWM, NS, 48, tall successful, athletic, good listener, enjoys fitness activities, cooking, music. Seeking to meet slender, fit easy-going SWF, NS. ISO a pleasant surprise? Me too. Box 582

•

WPCU SEEKING FANTASY FOR FOUR. He's dark and handsome, she's slender and sexy. Both 4oish and fit. ISO friendship, fun and erotic fantasy fulfillment with one other adventurous CU. Honest, respectful, discreet.

PLEASING YOU PLEASES ME. Woman's secret desires fullfilled, unspoken wishes granted. Slow hand, easy touch, I understand. Handsome WM, early-30S, seeks mature WF. Discreet/sincere. 3492

SWM, 40, CLEAN, Bi-CURIOUS, CAN BE SUBmissive. Want to meet WCU or dominant F.

THE CLEVER POSTURING CHARACTERIZING these ads is such a chore. You can eat them, but they aren't very nourishing. Got legs, loot, courage and class? Please send an original essay written in the 1st person discussing passion, adversity & heroism. Box 57i

woman

Mohinqwrnrnt

GPF*S, 39 81 46, LOOKING FOR OTHER CU'S for friendship. Interests include spiritual beliefs, nature, cooking, crafts, shopping, canoeing. Not into political causes. Homebodies encouraged. 40-55 YO. Box 598 SF, 45, SEEKING ADVENTUROUS, SPIRITED friends. Desires/appreciates travel, diversity, nature, spiritualism. Montpelier-based. Box

583 LESBIAN SEEKING KIND, GENTLE SF WITH positive outlook. 1 am 38, smoker, kind of femme, prof, with good sense of humor. Box 568

Y O U : INSIDE THE PLANET (ESPRESSO MARtini) looking out. Me: sitting outside (cosmopolitan) looking in. Summer night, sultry glances. If you converse as vivaciously as you flirt, then please call. 3725 DEBRA, Y O U LEFT A PHONE NUMBER I C A N T reach you at. Wherever you are, love won't let you hide. Let's talk about the weather, I'm interested. ]oe. 3671 7/25, BLACK JEEP, RTE. 93 NORTH. Played passing game with my red Saturn. 3rd time I've seen you. 1st you waved. 2nd I wasn't golfing. Interested in talking outside a moving vehicle? 3696

WBiM, 28, BOTTOM, SUBMISSIVE, X-DRESSER, new to scene. Looking for G/BiM, 25-35, for personal encounters for mutual pleasure. NS, honesty, cleanliness, discretion a must. Box 580 CREATIVE, RESOURCEFUL, RAMBUNCTIOUS, vegetarian, sensitive, loving, intense, earthlovin' gardener/homesteader, 6', 160 lb. top Interests: massage, sports playing, cheap foreign travel, wilderness. Seeks kind, honest, mature, thin, vital, alive friend. Handicap OK. Box 563

Joifm WM, 40S, EDUCATED, GOOD-LOOKING W/ sense of humor, seeks older woman, 57+, for adult encounters, fantasy fullfillment & friendship. Box 594 ARE THERE ANY TRIM, ATTRACTIVE, REASON ably sane, intelligent CUs out there looking for the same in a DWM? If so, write. Box 589

NICKELODEON, 8/7. You and I had aisle seats—right & left—and my attention wandered from Rene Russo to you. I found you irresistibly fascinating. Did you smile? Box 585

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO HTTP://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM TO SUBMIT YOUR MESSAGE ON-LINE. H o w to place y o u r FREE p e r s o n a l ad w i t h P e r s o n t o P e r s o n • F I L L OUT THIS F O R M A N D MAIL IT TO: P E R S O N A L S , P . O . B o x 802.865.1015.

1164,

B U R L I N G T O N , V T 0 5 4 0 2 OR FAX TO

P L E A S E CHECK A P P R O P R I A T E CATEGORY. Y O U W I L L R E C E I V E Y O U R BOX # & P A S S C O D E BY M A I L .

• F I R S T 3 0 W O R D S ARE F R E E W I T H P E R S O N TO P E R S O N , A D D I T I O N A L W O R D S A R E $ 2 EACH EXTRA W O R D . • F R E E RETRIEVAL 2 4 H O U R S A DAY T H R O U G H THE PRIVATE 8 0 0 #. ( D E T A I L S W I L L BE M A I L E D TO YOU W H E N YOU PLACE YOUR AD.) IT'S SAFE, C O N F I D E N T I A L A N D F U N !

H o w to r e s p o n d to a p e r s o n a • C H O O S E YOUR FAVORITE ADS A N D NOTE THEIR BOX N U M B E R S . • C A L L 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 F R O M A T O U C H - T O N E P H O N E . 1 - 9 0 0 # BLOCK? C A L L

1-800-710-8727.

• F O L L O W I N G T H E VOICE PROMPTS, P U N C H IN THE 4 - D I G I T BOX # O F T H E AD Y O U W I S H TO R E S P O N D TO, OR YOU MAY B R O W S E A S P E C I F I C CATEGORY.

Confidential Information (WE

N E E D THIS TO R U N

YOUR

I - K t f c

NAME ADDRESS, CITY ZIP

STATE_

.PHONE.

P L E A S E , A VALID ADDRESS. A N D F AD EXCEEDS 3 Q WORDS.

^ • C A L L S COST $ 1 . 9 9 PER M I N U T E . Y O U M U S T B E O V E R 1 8 Y E A R S O L D .

3 0

WORD PERSONAL AD

AD)

P L E A S E WRITE

SEND $2

PER

EXTRA

A D S IN L E T T E R S O N L Y SECTION (3-D«$IT BQX # ) CAN BE CONTACTED

^THROUGH T H E MAIL. S E A L Y O U R R E S P O N S E IN A N E N V E L O P E , W R I T E V R H E BOX # O N T H E O U T S I D E A N D P L A C E IN A N O T H E R E N V E L O P E W I T H | $ 5 FOR EACH R E S P O N S E . A D D R E S S TO : A V.: >. ' P E R S O N A L S , C/O P.O. B o x 1164, B U R L I N G T O N , VT 0 5 4 0 2 . . - -

CLEARLY.

Four FREE weeks for:

WORD.

WOMEN B R'^IV"T<N D P ! A P2SSSV^

AOVERT,SEL<ENT AND VOICE

F?^.?E5S0.N.FIVIP?«ARE AVAILABLE FOR PEOPLE SEEKING RELATIONSHIPS, ADS SEEKING TO BUY OR SELL SEXUAL SERVICES, OR CONTAINING EXPLICIT tts?UAGE WILL BE REFUSED. NO FULL NAMES, STREET AODRESSES OR PHONE NUMBERS WILL BE PGBLISHEO. SEVEN\5*YS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EDIT OR REFUSE ANY AD. VOU MUST BE AT LEAST RT YEARS OF AGE TO PLACE OR RESPOND TO A PEHSON TO PERI^ON AD

MEN

SEEKING

WOMEN MEN

SEEKING

WOMEN

SEEKING

MEN WOMEN

MEN

September 1,1999

Two FREE weeks for: I SPY OTHER CHECK H E R E IF YOU'D '"LETTERS

SEVEN DAYS

PREFER

ONLY"

page 63

(V r e

iWtP

National r

Organic

Month!

O O

Our g r o c e r y d e p a r t m e n t is h a v i n g a huge sale on t h e f i n e s t i n o r g a n i c s . Here are j u s t SOME of t h e g r e a t deals f o r a l l S e p t e m b e r . . . o

CASCADIAN

FARMS

ORGANIC

ARROWHEAD

MILLS

SANTA

ORGANIC

CRUZ

FRUIT

ORGANIC

PEANUT

APPLE

GLEN

ORGANIC

PASTA

MUIR

GLEN

ORGANIC

TOMATOES

ORGANIC

SOY

SAUCES

DRINK EXTRA

BIONATURAE

$3.,79

$1.99

$2..19

$1.19 $1.49 $1.59 $ 16.99 $17.99

OZ.

ORIG.

VANILLA

OZ.

$2. 69

ORIG.

VANILLA

OZ.

$2. 89

THE

CASE

12/32

OZ.

OLIVE

OIL

RUBY

ORGANIC

25.4

ALMOND

OZ.

BUTTER

OZ.

$14.89

$11.19

$14.59

$10.89

ORGANIC

OZ.

$1. 09

$2.69 $.69

$5. 79

$3.99

t o

$3. 39

$1.99

RED 1

GRAPEFRUIT

JUICE

/ 2 GAL

BAGGED

VEGGIES

OZ.

$2. 39

PEAS

OZ.

$3. 09

BOXED

VEGGIES

OZ.

$3. 09

$1.39 $1.89 $1.99

$ 1.69/lb.

APRICOTS

ORGANIC

CHAMPAGNE

ORGANIC

KIWIS

LOCALLY

GROWN

ORGANIC

CAULIFLOWER

$1.89

LOCALLY

GROWN

ORGANIC

CUCUMBERS

$ . 9 9 / 1 b.

$ 1.9 9/1b.

GRAPES

3/$ 1.00

ORGANIC

each

$.99/lb.

EGGPLANT GROWN

ORGANIC

LOCALLY

$3. 79

Organic produce specials for the week...

ORGANIC

OZ.

FREEZER: FARMS

MILK

ORGANIC

$1.89

ORGANIC

$3.,49

OZ.

EXTRA

YOGURTS

CASCADIAN

$2.99

OZ.

ORGANIC

THE

$4..89

12/32

STONYFIELD

FROM

oz.

$1.99 $2.89

CASE

RAW

VALLEY

$4.,49

THE

ORGANIC

$3..19

MARANATHA

ORGANIC

PRICE

OZ.

ORIGINAL

ORGANIC

HORIZON

SALE

BUTTER

SAUCES

MUIR

EDENSOY

SPREADS

REGULAR LOW PRICE

SUGAR

$4.29/pt.

PLUMS

Nev~er u m / L w e s t i m a t e / tk& poww

of Healthy

L U s w m .

NATURAL F O O D S MARKET

[4 Market Street South Burlington • 802-863-2569 • Monday - Saturday 8-8 • Sunday 11-6 • www. healthylivingmarket.com