Seven Days, November 10, 1999 by Seven Days

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november 10, 1999

the weekly read on Vermont news,

views and

culture

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne STAFF WRITER Erik Esckilsen ART DIRECTION Donald Eggerr, Tara Vaughan-Hughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES David Booth, Michelle Brown, Eve Jarosinski, Colby Roberts, Diane Sullivan CALENDAR WRITER Gwenn Garland CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, John Dillon, Peter Freyne, Jeff Fuccillo, Anne Galloway, Paul Gibson, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Andrew Nemethy, Ron Powers, Glenn Severance, Heather Stephenson, Molly Stevens, Matthew Taylor, Pip Vaughan-Hughes, David Weinstock, Margy Levine Young, Jordan Young PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Paula Myrick, Sarah Ryan, Sean Sims

SEVEN DAYS

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Everybody knows there's no better place to poop than under the Golden Arches...

Contents Features

Departments

Heroin Worship

Can methadone fix Vermont's growing drug problem? long-term addict testifies for treatment By Pamela Polston

The Road to Rutabagas

A busload of Burlingtonians grocery By Erik Esckilsen...

shop around for the

One page 8

greatest

question

page 4

weekly mail

page 4

inside track

page 5

news quirks

page 6

crank call

page 7

troubletown

page 37

classifieds

page 42

red meat

page 44

story minute

page 44

car talk

page 45

life in hell

page 46

Tel: 802.864.5684

straight dope

page 47

Fax: 802.865.1015.

crossword puzzle

page 48

real astrology

page 48

lola, the love counselor

page 49

personals

page 49

dykes to watch out for

page 50

reasonable by the publisher.

S E V E N D A Y S is printed at B.D. Press in Georgia, VT. SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, 255 S. Champlain St., Burlington, VT 05402-1164

page 14

Hazard a Guess Book review: Occam's Razor by Archer By Erik Esckilsen

Mayor page 18

e-mail: sevenday@together.net http://www.sevendaysvt.com

A.A.N

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COVER PHOTO: MATTHEW THORSEN COVER DESIGN: TARA VAUGHAN-HUGHES

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Revel with a Cause Art review: "Theater Soul" By Marc Awodey

of the Imagination,

Masquerade

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Montreal: Bun Marche A night-person's By Chris Barry

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Listings

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art

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film

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november 1 0 , 1 9 9 9 * SEVEN DAYS

W K K K I, V

What are you squirreling away for winter? Unhole-y socks and self-esteem. — Bayard Littlefield Manager, Otter Creek Food Co-op Vergennes Thoughts of sunshine and warmth from the summer. — Sean Standon Salesperson, Ski Rack Burlington

ENVISIONING T H E FUTURE I was b o t h excited and extremely interested to read your October 13 cover story ["What If Artists Ruled Vermont?"] and c o m m e n d Seven Days for asking artists to share their personal visions for their cities, waterfronts, downtowns and neighborhoods. As referenced in the story many times, only through this sort of bold visioning process can we actively define as a c o m m u n i t y what we want for our future and how we can achieve it. W h a t do we w a n t Burlington to look like in 30 or 40 years? Will our streets be safe and our schools strong? Will everyone have an opportunity to participate in city activities? W h a t actions should we take today to make Burlington an even more livable city for future generations? Burlington's Legacy Project aims to answer these questions and many more. Led by a diverse group of community leaders, the Legacy Project is listening to Burlington residents through a very active public

Canned goods and

and banana chips. — Drew Lead ley Sales clerk, Healthy Living S. Burlington Rigatoni. It's an old Neapolitan proverb that when Italians start squirreling pasta away, it's going to be a hard winter. I've started already. — Anthony Sini Graphic artist Burlington Optimism. I'm trying not to get lost in the coming darkness.

— Sue Krajac Registered Client Associate, Merrill Lynch Burlington

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SEVEN DAYS

edge." From the article, that edge appears to consist of a more tangible sympathy between the performers and the audience than at other Karaoke Nights. H e didn't seem to notice any dirty dancing between w o m e n h a m m i n g it up together on stage, or the tastefully made-up men kissing each other at the small round tables. W h a t to call the p h e n o m e n o n when all a writer notices at a gay bar is a straight drag queen? Are we more invisible than I imagined, or is the media completely blind? — Francesca Werenko Burlington

A R E W E INVISIBLE? In his piece on the karaoke p h e n o m e n o n ["I Like Mike," October 20], Mr. VaughanHughes points out that at 135 Pearl St. the K-factor has "an

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MARSELIS-CONGI R E M A R K S TASTELESS I object very m u c h to Peter Freyne's remarks about the Marselis Parsons-Sera Congi news hour on CBS in his article of October 13 [Inside Track]. It is true that the combination does not work well. T h e reason, however, is not to be found in their age and/or personality difference. Perhaps you should point out to Peter Freyne that news is not entertaining nor meant to be so, and that he should stop being so preoccupied with age and "sparkling sex" in newscasters. Many of us — young and old — find Marselis Parsons' quiet and dignified reporting just the right kind! Peter Freyne's remarks in this article are tactless, tasteless and empty-headed. — Erma Otten Rochester

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fortitude." — Chris Gibert Natural foods broker Burlington "Simpsons" videos

process about their vision of Burlington as we enter the next century. This information will then be summarized into a comprehensive action plan, which will be brought back to the voters in March 2000 for approval. If adopted, this plan will provide the guiding principles and set the context for future planning and decision-making within the city — and it will give citizens a framework for holding community leaders accountable. I encourage readers of Seven Days to contact Burlington's Legacy Project by phone (8657178) or mail (1 Steele Street/Wing Bldg., Rm. 107) to share with us any ideas or thoughts about the future of our great city, and also encourage folks to keep their eyes peeled for upcoming community dialogues and public hearings around this innovative and exciting community project. Congratulations to Seven Days as well for facilitating thought and discussion about the future of arts in our community. — Andrew Huff City of Burlington's Legacy Project Burlington

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Cliche Cops a Deal

blind spot to Bernie's activities, while featuring every little twist and turn in Jim's career, including a front-page hike along the Long Trail! For a while last summer, during Ol' Bernardo's run-up on the IBM pension switcheroo and the prescription drug pricing ripoff, you were more likely to catch Vermont's congressman in The New York Times or on "The CBS Evening News with Dan Rather" than in the Rutland Herald or on "Vermont's Own" Ch. 3. After all, this is the TV station founded and owned by Stuart "Red" Martin, Vermont's most successful broadcaster, who once told yours truly he considered "getting rid of Bernie Sanders a public service." The comment came when Ol' Red was questioned about the refund he'd received from the campaign treasury of Sanders' Republican opponent that year. Damn campaign rules. Red Martin's generosity had unfortunately exceeded the federal limits.

Fantasy hit the brick wall of reality last week as saloon-keeper Shawn Cliche copped a plea to end his long-pending criminal case. Cliche was charged with one felony count of aggravated assault and two misdemeanor simple assault counts following a punch-up at a Church Street nightclub back in December 1997. With an iffy jury trial looking him in the eye, Cliche took a deal in which the states attorney dropped the felony in return for his "no contest" pleas on the misdemeanors. Judge Brian Burgess gave him a one-year suspended sentence, fined him $535, and ordered him to perform 200 hours of community service. Cliche told Seven Days, "It was time to take my share of the responsibility and move on." Meanwhile, Mr. Cliches lawsuit against Burlington for revoking the liquor license he'd been awarded for a new club on Cherry Street is pending at Fact is, those who pay the Chittenden Superior Court. piper do get to call the tune. But two weeks ago Shawn It's free enterprise. So it was Cliche starred in a somewhat hardly surprising that the mesdifferent role at, of all places, sage spun from the poll numbers was "Bernie, don't do it!" Trinity College. Shawn was the Which is exactly the same guest of honor before Communmessage that the Jeffords ications Professor Jeff Haig s camp has been spreading for senior seminar on censorship. over a year. Jeezum's re-elecWho can forget the brouhation strategy is simple and ha a few years back over Cliches Club Fantasy on Williston C ear PY P F T P P PRPYMP ' keep Ol Bernardo Road? Remember the hundreds O f i t i L r l r r v L 1 iNL out of the race. The Rutland of righteous citizens who packed Herald and W G O P have done the South Burlington City Council meeting, their bit to help. Nice teamwork, don't you demanding their elected officials protect the think? Traffic Jam Capital of Vermont from the moral Yes, 53 percent of the respondents said they'd depravity that exposed female flesh would rain prefer Bernie to run for reelection to the House. upon their pristine community? Cliche was But it turns out more than one-third of that 53 forced out of business. The blue noses tripercent are Sanders supporters who do not want umphed. Today the good citizens rest assured The Bern to risk losing a job on Capitol Hill. If that their youngins can shop safely at Bon-Ton only the little chickadees knew the risk isn't as without experiencing the temptations of the high as they imagine. flesh. Unfortunately, the price for achieving that See, they had no way of knowing, when intersense of moral purity was a weakening of everyviewed, that Jim Jeffords' support remains on the one's First Amendment right to freedom of weak side. The media sponsors played down the expression. numbers that showed the incumbent in trouble. Cliche told us the students were all lined up Nonetheless, the buzz around Washington was against him when the seminar started, but once over the head-to-head match up between the two they heard the naked truth, so to speak, they got main contenders. Jeezum, the Republican senator quite the lesson on censorship in action. who's represented Vermont in Washington for 25 Haig told Seven Days his female students were years, was in a statistical dead heat with Sanders, "very impressed by Shawn." They were familiar the socialist congressman. Jeezum had the backwith the local media coverage of the Club ing of just 42 percent of the respondents. Fantasy affair, but they didn't realize there was Remember, in 1994 he won with just 50 percent another side to the story. of the vote? That ain't no landslide, folks. In fact, There always is. it's a distant cry from the 63 percent of the vote Haig's class also looked at the recent flap over Bernie raked in last time. For an incumbent to be the art exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. That's at 42 percent one year before the election means the one New York Mayor Rudy "Elephant this race is a certifiable toss-up, with a challenger Dunghead" Giuliani tried to wear the censors gaining momentum. And everybody knows hat on. Sanders campaigns like a whirling dervish. "Censorship is a very important issue," said Meanwhile, Vermont's junior senator has Haig. "It's not raised often enough." been all over the press this week, from wailing Amen. away on Hydro-Quebec to standing shoulder-toPoll Spin Aids Jeffords — Congress was on the shoulder with Matthew Shepherd's parents in a verge of recess Tuesday. That means U.S. Sen. push for hate-crimes legislation. But on Monday Jim Jeffords will shortly be checking into the the Good Ship Jeezum hit rough waters, sparked Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center for back by a report in Roll Call\xt might not seek re-elecsurgery. And Congressman Bernie Sanders will tion. Roll Call reported that unnamed sources let the cat out of the bag on his plans for said G O P Senate leader Trent Lott had told Election 2000. Democrat leader Tom Daschle, "Don't be surFinally! prised if you hear news about another Last week the Rutland Herald and WCAX-TV Republican retirement." jumped into the middle of it all with a statewide According to Roll Call, the three possibilities poll they spun as evidence that most Vermonters include Finance Chairman William Roth (Rdon't want OP Bernardo to run against Sen. Delaware), Conrad Burns (R-Montana), and Jim Jeffords. Considering the sources, what else Jeffords of Vermont. would you have expected them to say? Everybody involved denied it. They always Look, polls are like the Bible — you can do. quote scripture to defend anything. And for this A Jeffords staffer sarcastically described the poll, the tab was picked up by Jeezum Jim's Roll Call report as "speculation with no basis" hometown paper and WGOP, sorry, WCAX. and "not a possibility." The Rutland daily had a glaring summertime

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november 10; 1999 m ^ ^

SEVEN DAYS * - page 5 liAft^Mtf A a**«i

Curses, Foiled Again

Hopkins, was that after his victims sent the money to postal drops that he set up using stolen identification, he taunted them on an Internet bulletin board, prompting one angry victim to complain to authorities, who spent a month tracking Denlinger down.

After Hector Videla, 25, robbed a woman in a parked car in Argentina's Cordoba province, the woman's screams attracted police, who gave chase. Videla tried to escape by jumping into a lake, then remembered he didn't know how to swim. Police rescued, then arrested him. • Police in Astoria, Oregon, pulled over a car that had been parked inside a crosswalk. When they found the driver didn't have a license, they questioned him and the passengers. O n e of them, Roberto ValienteMartinez, 28, became fidgety and after a few minutes pleaded with Officer William Barnes to remove : :bag of cocaine that he had hidden down his pants because it was burning his crotch. Police arrested him. • James Denlinger, 28, was arrested in Sonoma County, California, after authorities said he bilked people of about $100,000 by offering to sell rare Beanie Babies over the Internet that he did not possess. W h a t led to his capture, according to Sheriff's Detective Mike

Family Affair

Nearer My God The European aircraft maker Airbus offered to install synagogues in five planes it hopes to sell to the Israeli national airline El Al. Airbus spokesperson Alain Dupiech said the synagogue would be located in the lower deck of the A340, with enough prave' tor a dozen people. Th r v ng she : Torah scro: nic an red ; on a mova • • . . . ; • ays faces JcrusaiC

Gospel of John Argentina's popular television evangelist preacher Hector Gimenez, facing charges that he defrauded a worshiper at his "Good Waves" shrine in Buenos Aires, was offered the choice of standing trial or cleaning public bathrooms for two years.

nEWs QuiRkS

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Police in Tunbridge Wells, England, arrested a couple in their twenties for having sex on the ground outside a sports shop in the middle of the day. Officers reported that during the encounter, the woman was using one of their two children as a pillow for her head.

Way to Go Women are half as likely as men to have their obituaries published in major U.S. newspapers, according to a study by sociologist Robin Moremen of Chicago's Northern Illinois University. Her study found that the ratio of men to women ranged from 8-to-l in The New York Times to 2-to-l in The Chicago Tribune. "Interestingly enough," Moremen said, "we found that there was very little change since the 1970s." • Florida's struggling Daytona Beach International Airport worked out a promotion with Delta Air Lines to award 500 frequent flier miles to funeral directors for every body they ship from the airport on Delta.

Problems of Democracy Indonesian election officials blamed a herd of wild elephants

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Supporting Roles Anuban Bell, 24, and Sunee Whitworth, 39, took shelter under a tree in London's Hyde Park during a thunderstorm but were killed by a bolt of lightning when their underwired bras acted as conductors. "This is only the second time in my experience of 50,000 deaths where lightning has struck the metal in a bra causing death," coroner Paul Knapman told an inquest. • Kursty Smith, 27, a student attending Britain's Royal College of Art, designed a brassiere with a built-in alarm, which she claims can protect women. The device has a sensor that can detect a fast-beating heart, then activate a highpitched noise to scare away attackers. When a non-threat sends pulses racing, the wearer can deactivate the alarm by hit-

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world has some funny ideas about America. In Europe this most often translates into snobbery — Yanks mangle the English language, they have big butts. In Britain, from where I moved last year, people tend to be full of vague anti-American bluster, but dig a bit deeper and you'll find something more disturbing. People are scared of America. They think you're all armed to the teeth. They believe if they visit, they stand a good chance of being shot. Many friends of mine, Londoners who would love to see New York, have never been there because they think they might be killed. Lots of people shy away from America for the same reason they wouldn't book a package tour of Groznyy. Because much of what reaches Britain by way of American culture is saturated in violence, and this creates a false impression. But we have very good international news coverage, too, and when someone goes crazy and sprays a McDonald's with bullets, we see it. I've always thought the issue was blown out of all proportion. Violence is glamorous and good for ratings. It couldn't be as bad as all that in real life. I moved here a year ago, and since then I've realized something. The problem America has with guns hasn't been exaggerated. It's worse, much worse, than they know back in the old country, where the news doesn't convey anything like the reality of the mayhem. In the past year, Columbine wasn't the only massacre. It wasn't even the only school-meets-guns tragedy. Just this past week, a Xerox worker killed six in Hawaii, and an unknown pistolero walked into a Seattle shipyard building and shot two people dead. I'm not used to living with this kind of news. In the UK — and you'll have to forgive me if I exclude Northern Ireland here, for obvious reasons — it just doesn't happen. Or rather, it has happened exactly twice. In 1987, an unemployed laborer called Michael Ryan went rampaging through the sleepy town of Hungerford with an AK47. He killed 17 people, including his mother, before shooting himself. In 1996 Thomas Hamilton walked into a junior school in Dunblane, Scotland, with four handguns and 743 rounds of ammunition. He killed 16 children and their teacher, then himself. Both these horrors were followed by massive public reactions. After Dunblane, 160,000 guns were handed in to the police. Most of those were legally held. The already restrictive laws governing possession of

firearms were tightened still further. Its now almost impossible to own any kind of firearm in the UK unless you are a farmer, in which case you might qualify for a shotgun license. Before 1996, most gun owners were farmers, members of gun clubs or criminals. Ryan and Hamilton owned their guns as members of two of the UK's 2118 rifle and pistol clubs. The vast majority of gunrelated deaths and injuries in the UK are caused by criminals using unlicensed weapons — and admittedly there are lots of those — or suicide. Even before Dunblane, getting a firearms certificate was a torturous business, regulated by the Firearms Act of 1968, which stipulated home visits by policemen and assessment of, among other

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things, whether the applicant was of "intemperate habits or unsound mind." There had to be "good reason" for owning a gun, which didn't include selfprotection or big-game hunting. After Dunblane there was no real resistance, as legal handgun ownership was effectively brought to an end. The government compensated people for the guns they handed in — valuable collections included — and then most of the weapons were destroyed. Good riddance. Over here things are very, very different. You have the Constitution. You have the gun lobby. You have Charlton Heston, God help you. Apparently, according to Jesse Ventura and crazed Arizona Republican Rep. Barbara Blewster, among others, the remedy is more, not fewer, guns. Blewster informed us in The Arizona Republic that "an armed society is a polite society." That's a favorite quote from sci-fi author Robert "Doc" Heinlein, of the pro-gun brigade, whose members presumably don't think it means saying "please" before pulling the trigger. Meanwhile, Ventura and Blewster favor arming teachers. Who needs to throw chalk when there's a Glock under the desk?

Unfortunately, it isn't just the crazies — many of them in public office — who espouse this nonsense. There's nothing marginalized about the pro-gun lobby. The very fact that gun control is an issue, that there is any debate whatsoever about guns in civilian hands, is incomprehensible to the British. While the Web is loaded with sites for pro-gun groups in the USA, a search for "gun control, UK" brings up a few sites for gun clubs, the Snowdrop Appeal site — a movement formed after the Dunblane Massacre to ban all firearms in the UK — and various Libertarian odds and ends protesting the un-democratic nature of firearm bans. I was a bit shocked to find that I went to university with one of these Libertarian types. As I recall, i he was fond of Hitler and * made home movies of himself as a private eye, waving various replica pistols. We all thought he was a nut-job. We Brits just don't understand why, after each bloodbath, guns aren't immediately banned. We know about the Second Amendment, and think it bizarre that a principle so clearly out-of-date — we're familiar with the Revolutionary War; we lost it — should still be treated with such awe. Isn't it a basic human right to be protected from violence? There's nothing democratic about a system that provides for the arming of the public to counteract a threat of deadly force from, let's be frank, the public. Has the U.S. government decided not to protect its subjects? Many of the pressure groups for unrestricted gun ownership are, like the John Birch Society, a split-hair away from fascism. From a distance, it looks uncomfortably as if your country's policy-making machinery is controlled by the enemies of democracy.

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According to the National Council for Health Statistics, shootings will overtake car accidents as the leading cause of injury and death in America by 2003. This is the America I now call home. My neighbors turn out to be armed to the teeth, blasting away at will with their big-caliber pistols. The news scares me. And there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. Would a cure for cancer or AIDS be suppressed by Congress? Of course not. Is the public protected from unnecessary danger on the roads? As a matter of course. Then why are you not protected from the most easily avoidable danger of all? Throw away your guns, all you superannuated Minutemen. Melt them down. The British won't invade again — they've outgrown you and your deadly toys. (Z)

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Can methadone fix Vermont's growing drug problem? One long-term addict testifies for treatment

I don't know where I'm going But I'm going to try for the kingdom if I can 'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man When I put a spike into my vein then I tell you things aren't quite the same. — From the song "Heroin," by Lou Reed

M sold my body and my soul for drugs," M Burlington addict Nina H. bravely confessed • to a roomful of strangers — and a tape recorder — last month in Burlington at the third and final public hearing on methadone treatment in Vermont. The committee's findings will be presented to the Legislature this winter as lawmakers consider whether to make the synthetic narcotic available to drug addicts in the state. Nina, who has been using heroin for 20 years, is not your stereotypical junkie, if there is such a person. The 42-year-old Vermonter spoke with a quavering voice in vehement support of the drug she believes could allow her a "normal" life — and earned applause from many of the listeners. Her testimony at the hearing, along with that of other current and recovering addicts from around Vermont, was both emotional and logical. "Why should I have to move out of my home state to get the drug that was made to treat my problem?" Nina asked. Although there were a few dissenting opinions, the majority spoke in favor of methadone treatment, which is controversial in Vermont in part because of Governor — and physician — Howard Dean's well-known opposition to it. Only eight states in the nation, including Vermont and neighboring New Hampshire, do not make the drug available to recovering addicts. The testimony underscored the insidiousness of the drug every school kid is warned about, whose negative side effects include slowed gait, slurred speech, constricted pupils, droopy eyelids, impaired night vision, dry skin, itching, skin infections, vomiting, constipation, decreased sexual pleasure, respiratory depression, impaired immune system, decreased appetite, irregular heart beat and blood pressure, addiction, coma and death. But heroin, also known as smack, horse, mud, brown sugar, black tar, Big H, dope and junk, makes a far more alluring first impression on those who try it. "You feel really beautiful," is how Nina describes a heroin high. "Any kind of self-doubt you ever had is gone. You just feel like you're really pretty and really good at whatever it is you want to be good at. Everything around you is really beautiful, like being wrapped in really beautiful gauze that you can see through." The first few years that Nina used, she says, she didn't feel omnipotent, just safe, happy and able to deal with life. If it was a delusion, she didn't care. "Nothing mattered, nothing could hurt me. I didn't lose my sense of morality or values," she adds, "but my insecurities of what people thought or how I looked just didn't matter. I just wanted to go out and have fun and feel good, and for a long time it worked."

recovering addict, are moving to Greenfield, Massachusetts, to be closer to the services of a methadone clinic. As the legislative testimony revealed, some Vermonters drive long distances every day to be treated there. After two decades of dope and desperation, Nina seems determined to shake her demon at last. While she once thought she would need to be on methadone the rest of her life, she now favors gradually reducing dependence on that drug — also highly addictive — and eventually going off it altogether. For one thing, the drug diminishes her enjoyment of sex, as did heroin. Still, in the past Nina has had as many relapses as detoxes — 16, by her count — and her "successes" have lasted only six months at best. Some former friends, tired of her broken promises, lost faith long ago in Nina's ability to break the habit. Why should this time be different? Maybe because she now has two compelling reasons to come "clean": She's HIV-positive; and she's "finally got a boyfriend who doesn't want to see me with needles in my arms." But Nina knows, perhaps better than anyone, there are no guarantees.

ina grew up in a picturesque, rural pocket of central Vermont, an only child and a straight-A student — except for algebra, she confesses. Her father, a restaurateur whom she remembers as very loving and nurturing, was 20 years older than his wife and died when Nina was 12. After that, her home life disintegrated: Her mother began seeing a man who molested Nina. She describes her mother, Susan, as "afraid of the guy; she didn't marry him, but she didn't make him leave. Of course, I felt guilty." Nina didn't tell her mother about the abuse until many years later — the first time she went to Maple Leaf Farm, a detox center in Underhill. "The physical abuse stopped after about six months," Nina continues, "but the emotional...I was afraid all the time. I grew up my whole teenage years terrified." When Susan took a nighttime job, Nina was left alone with her abuser -— a man she says got her mother's cousin pregnant during the time he was living with them. Nina put a lock on her bedroom door. Whenever she went out on a date, "he accused me of fucking everyone in town," Nina remembers bitterly. There is no doubt in her mind that childhood abuse led to low self-esteem, a feeling that she didn't deserve happiness or success. That same sense of worthlessness, Nina says, is why she dropped out of college, in upstate New York, after a year and a half — despite being bright, creative and interested in an acting career. Nina also blames the abuse, and subsequent selfhatred, for her addiction. Had it "not happened to me, I think I would have been able to just try heroin and move on. But if you have this hole because your caretaker did not provide for you...I just think that's a big piece of addiction." Nina's theory has been corroborated again and again. "I've been in a lot of clinics and met a lot of addicts, and every one of them has had some abuse in their past," she asserts. Statistics among women inmates at the Chittenden County Correctional Center support her arguments. The majority of incarcerated women have histories of substance abuse, according to superintendent John Murphy. "Roughly 70 percent," he adds, "have experienced some kind of sexual abuse." f

"When you're in the back seat o car with a redneck and you're breed to have sex with him for rugs, there's nothing roman ic about that" — heroin addict Nina H.

From the kitchen table at her mother's house, Nina — her real name and other identifying details have been altered for this article to protect her privacy — gazes out the window at November clouds sulking over the Green Mountains as she talks about the addiction she's had most of her adult life. Nina refers to the infamous euphoric effects of the drug in the past tense because, for the last 10 years, it hasn't felt that way to her at all. Rather, Nina has taken heroin just to keep from getting sick — withdrawal symptoms are as horrific as the drug's side-effects — like the time she puked up a bucket full of bile in a jail cell. "It was so gross," she recalls with a grimace.

A lot of stories about addicts are written completely in the past tense because the addict has died, usually from an overdose. Though Nina is still alive, her story is only slightly less harrowing. She stopped shooting heroin — again — in August and requires daily doses of methadone to keep her stable. This month Nina and her fiance, Greg M., also a

n't buy heroin in City you can." Her friend Michael I of heroin he says, "has increase but "the kind of pfiopl^^^W^romi ••««> mibi Official statistics bear out the fact that heroin is on the rise Of the 353 patients admitted for treatment at the state's sub stance-abuse centers in 1998,214 reported heroin as their pri mary drug. Though that number is small — and is dwarfed by alcohol-abuse cases — it nonetheless represents a 50 percen increase since 1997, according to the office of Vermont Legislative Research at the University of Vermont Gladys Zelman, CEO of Mapie Leaf Farm, noted at last month's legislative hearing about methadone treatment a "40 percent increase in the use of heroin among those who come to the Farm for treatment"—35 percent of them between the ages of 17 and 21. "They're pretty desperate when they come to us," Zeiman tes tified, "and, basically, we can't help them."

Nina's telling of the "junkie years" is convoluted and out of chronological order, a jumbled recall that perhaps reveals her state of mind for much of that time. It's difficult for her to sort out what happened and when — the effect of which is to dash her life into a kaleidoscope of blurry events. Nina's tale also reveals her enduring inclination toward a kind of innocence — she expresses hurt surprise about every friend or lover who lied to her or cheated on her — underscored by her characteristic

Continued on next page

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Heroin

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demeanor of downcast eyes and soft voice. But sometimes, Nina admits, she was not above the same deceit; her desperate search for love included serial affairs with both women and men, each of them, including a young husband, offering only temporary solace — and usually drugs.

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the premises. She says it wasn't fair. S h e never understood, until recently, why many of her "straight" friends turned away. She nearly whimpers at remembered injustices; even now, o l d e r and presumably wiser, Nina can't seem to quite relinquish the familiar role of victim. "I believe I suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome," she offers. Like many teenagers, Nina had tried pot in high school, though she later rejected it — "i made me paranoid," she says. "I didn't like it." She found her body had little tolerance for alcohol, either, and she never smoked cigarettes. She liked cocaine, and the downers Quaaludes and Dilaudids. For quite a while, she "could hang onto a quarter-gram of coke for weeks," Nina notes, using it only as a "treat." But the first time she injected cocaine, "things really changed — you want that rush over and over again. T h e first time, you hear bells ringing, you feel like you're floating, it's bette than coming." T h e rush lasted three or four seconds; she began to buy a lot more coke. "Drugs started to turn into a sort of psy chological need," she recalls. Still, Nina insists she was no addicted to cocaine and never abused legitimate p r e s c r i p t i o n drugs — except for the three Continued on page 12

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times she tried to commit suicide by ingesting pills. But after she began using heroin in 1980, it quickly became the biggest monkey on her back. By 1981, she had contracted hepatitis by sharing needles with a friend. She began to receive disability payments for depression and addiction. " T h e federal laws changed in 1996 and you could no longer receive for addiction," Nina explains, "so I had to be reevaluated. But by then I was HIV-positive." She receives disability still — a total of $571 a month. She hasn't had a fulltime job for close to a decade. Over the years, Nina has been in and out of clinics — she was treated at U V M s Substance Abuse Research Center seven times; she went to the Brattleboro Retreat five times and Maple Leaf once, among other clinics in Massachusetts. Even though she wasn't an alcoholic, at the urging of a friend she tried Alcoholics Anonymous for support. In 1985 she had sworn off drugs and thrown her coke stash away on New Year's Eve — an action she was "very proud of." But one day when she mentioned to her AA sponsor that she occasionally smoked a little pot, the sponsor told her she couldn't do that. T h e woman also disapproved of Nina's job at the time in a Burlington bar. Nina derides the belief that if you are addicted to one substance you are at risk with them all. "In the group I said, 'I came here to stop shooting heroin and cocaine. If I meet D o n Juan in the desert and he offers me peyote, I'm going to take it,"' Nina says. T h o u g h the group was supportive, she became disenchanted with the 12-step philosophy and eventually left it. O f f and on through the years, though, she has seen a private therapist. It was not long after the AA experience that Nina had another relapse. Why? She had a job, she was collaborating on an art project and getting paid for it, she was in a play. "Things were going too good," she says. "This is typical for relapsers — things are going too good and you don't believe they should, because of the things that happened to you as a kid. I'm obviously not worth anything. It's only in hindsight," she adds, "that I realize that."

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I Mm M\\tn Nina moved to I # m m Boston in 1994, her W W self-destruction reached a new low: She started turning tricks to pay for drugs. She says — apparently unaware of the irony — that she was really lucky nothing "bad" ever happened to her. "I could possibly have gotten killed, gotten in a car with the wrong person," she yj-.iK

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suggests. - hi- But prostitution itself, of course, was bad enough. "I hated myself, I hated men, my relationship. How could someone who loves you let you do that?" She's referring to her then-boyfriend, who took her to Park Square where she would hook until there was enough drug money for both of them. Her voice rising, she momentarily gets a little defensive: "A part of me feels like, okay, isn't working at McDonald's prostituting myself, because I'm really smart? I struggle with this whole political issue. Guys would ask me, when I was a prostitute, 'What are you doing here? You don't belong here.' I would ask them, What arc you doing here?'" No matter how she frames it, though, Nina acknowledges those were rough times. In one of many moves, she lost all her poetry and other writing — a casualty she feels erased a part of her identity. Far more devastating, her boyfriend died from complications due to AIDS, and because of unprotected sex with him, she learned she was HIV-positive a year later. For a while, she lived with a 60year-old crack addict. She wanted to go to poetry readings but didn't have the energy. Her days, as she attempts to describe them, sound aimless and depressing, though she says, "I read a lot." Sometime in this period, Nina was rejected from a clinic program for missing three consecutive days 'I was just too tired to go," she insists — and she started to get really, really sick. She called an ambulance, which took her to a detox center in Jamaica Plain. "When I threw up all over their bathroom," Nina remembers, "they broke protocol and got me some methadone real quick." At that center Nina met Don — a "friendly guy" who turned out to be a thief, a dealer and her next boyfriend. Nina remembers vividly a time she and Don were arrested for possession. She was humiliated by the hose-down in what she calls "a really scary jail" out of state. The couple moved to Vermont. Soon, Don was running dope from Boston — then, as now, bags of hero in bought for $10 in the city sold for $35 in Burlington, a profitable deal. "Don was always doing some shit, I don't know what," Nina says. She didn't want to know. That boyfriend ended up in prison — he's now serving time on a federal charge of possession. Nina marvels that she escaped being indicted and imprisoned herself. The federal agents were "always nice to me," she says. Maybe that seeming "innocence" is what saved her. Nina broke up with Don after he went to jail. Within months, she hooked up with Greg, and by all appearances so far, that has been a good thing. Injured several years ago in an accident, he too is on disability and isn't sure of his future beyond moving to Greenfield. But while he seems devoted to Nina and • determined to keep them both off drugs, Greg is playing with a different kind of fire: He refuses to use a condom. Nina is embarrassed to admit this; they both know the risks. "But there's nothing I can do about it," she laments. "It's his choice." In the last year or so Nina has been a peer educator for Vermonters with AIDS or HIV. It's a volunteer position — and a mission — that she takes very seriously. "She's really doing great," says her friend and fellow addict Michael M . "She's really become an advocate." Nina's job, along with counseling any "new HIVs" who want it, is to disseminate information about safe sex, high-risk behaviors and free AIDS testing, and to give out condoms and bleach kits — bleach kills the virus on syringes and spoons. Even when she was using, Nina would talk to other addicts about how to avoid HIV. "I would offer to go with people to the anonymous testing sites," she says. "Of course, everyone said they were practicing safe sex. I knew some of them were lying." After two decades in the duplicitous world of dope addiction, she has developed a

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M can only hope and pray," says Nina's mother M Susan, "that this time it will be different." m She's referring to Nina and Greg's move to Greenfield and the methadone treatment. "It's really hard to believe it's going to be, but I have a good feeling about this, and her relationship now. I have not heard her say for months that she doesn't want to live." Oddly, Susan does not recollect the suicide attempt nearly 10 years ago that Nina said took place at her mother's house while her mother was there. Nina says she took 30 tablets of the anti-depressant amitriptylin, wrote suicide notes, told her mother she was killing herself, and proceeded to sleep for three days. She believes her mother looked in on her but did not call an ambulance "because she was afraid they would take me to Waterbury." "She used to talk about committing suicide a lot," counters Susan, perplexed because she can't remember that particular incident. "She may have made the remark, but she'd made it so many times before I probably didn't pay any attention to it." Susan acknowledges that for many years her daughter didn't want to live but, she says, "I guess she's a survivor." Susan endured plenty of sorrow as her only

ent people whose children are addicts and they don't * know where their kids are! H o w can any parent stand it? Even if they re 45 years old, they're still your child." Susan doesn't know what she might have done differently to help Nina, but she says she did once consider moving to a state that had a methadone clinic. Though she's too reticent to advocate publicly, she feels strongly that Vermont should make the treatment available to its growing population of addicts. And her advice to parents of young users is simply "try to get them some help, whatever that help is. O f course," she adds, "unless people have been through it, they don't really understand it. More information needs to get out. I think it's pathetic it's taken [the state] this long to realize there is a drug problem in Vermont."

ike her mother, Nina hopes that her story will be a cautionary tale to potential users, or those who have flirted with heroin but are not yet hooked. She knows that she glamourized drugs herself in the beginning, and believes that young users in, for instance, Burlington's City Hall Park think it's "cool" to be a dealer. "There's nothing cool about it," she declares flatly. "There's nothing cool about jail."

She points to the example of her friend Lynn, who, even exposed to the grim realities of Nina's life, succumbed to addiction herself. "Lynn is from a very wealthy family in Boston. She saw me in Burlington be a heroin addict, she saw what it was like. She saw [my friend] Robert and me go through hell when we needed drugs, the people we had to hang out with. She had a cocaine-snorting problem... I tried everything in my power to keep her from becoming an addict."

"There's a body of evidence that methadone maintenance works." tate Senator Jim Leddy child fell victim to drugs, but exhibits a classic Vermont stoicism about it now. Though kindly and plainspoken, she seems slightly numb, as if she wishes she could look the other way but has seen far too much to even try. Twenty years ago, though, Susan didn't have a clue. "Never having been around anyone...that was using drugs," she says, "I guess I was pretty much in the dark about it all." Susan agrees it's been difficult to cope, but says she can "get it off my chest" with a couple of her sisters and her best friend. "It's really been hard because there isn't anyone else in the family that ever did any drugs...They seem to think you can just quit if you want to." She says the hardest thing was watching Nina not finish school, and watching her health go downhill. "She never used to take care of herself, she'd go without food so she could get drugs." One thing Susan credits Nina with, though, is always staying close. "For a long time she carried a lot r of anger towards me because of stuff that happened to her in her teenage years, but she wouldn't go all that long without getting in touch." Indeed, Susan was always the one whose home — and often money — was available, and Nina has retreated to H it nearly as often as she has tried to get clean. "She doesn't like it," Nina says of her lifestyle, "but if it wasn't for her I'd be dead. I don't believe in the enabling concept; I believe she saved my life." Asked why she put up with Nina — and a string of often unsavory companions — Susan says simply, "because I just love her so much. People told me to try 'tough love,' and I tried it for a couple months and just couldn't stand it. If anything had happened to her and I had disowned her," Susan continues, "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself. I've talked with a few differ-

But after Nina returned from a stint in Boston, Lynn was shooting up. "I guess I finally knew what a lot of my friends had felt about me," Nina says. "I couldn't understand how she let herself fall into that when she knew what it was like." Nina understands it now: Lynn loved the "beautiful high," as she had at first, before the terrible fall. As a peer educator, Nina says, "I try to share my experience about romanticizing drugs for a long time. You know, the suffering, tortured artist. That's just bullshit. When you're in the back seat of a car with a redneck and you're forced to have sex with him for drugs, there's nothing romantic about that." But if she's clearer-eyed about heroin now, Nina is also convinced that no amount of proselytizing, lecturing or even modeling can force a junkie to quit. "Nobody will stop until they're ready," she says. "You can't push that decision on them until they've lost." Twenty years of Nina's life were all but lost, and methadone will not bring them back. But she's ready to stake her future on it. To the critics who believe methadone treatment is simply trading one addiction for another, Nina has a ready answer. "I think it's a lot better to go drink some juice that may be addicting than to have to go to the most dangerous parts of the city to cop drugs, to live a dangerous, illegal lifestyle. "I just want to emphasize that I wouldn't be able to get anything done if I didn't have methadone — I wouldn't be helping people, I wouldn't have a savings account, I wouldn't be making car payments," Nina adds. "I want to go back to college; once my life is stable, I can do that. I would like to work with other addicts and people with HIV...if I could get methadone in Vermont I would think about staying here. "I'm looking for new ways to fill that empty hole," Nina concludes. "I'm trying to heal it." ®

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SEVEN DAYS

november 10, 1999

yU(o Fs'limi

A program of the t=J Burlington Community Land Trust

B Y ERIK ESCKILSEN

here aren't many Burlington residents willing to travel six hours for groceries. Hell, you could take the bus to the Shelburne Road Price Chopper and back twice in the same amount of time. In fact, there are exactly eight of us piled into a van for this lateday run — two Progressive city councilors, a board member from Burlington's Onion River Co-op, four residents of the senior and disabled housing development at 230 St. Paul Street and me. We're bound for Mac's Market in Stowe, then the food co-op in Hanover, New Hampshire. The trip, sponsored by the Onion River Co-op, was designed to give citizens a taste of two grocery-store options being considered for the former downtown site of the Burlington Police Department on South Winooski Avenue. Just a taste, though: Mac's Market in Stowe is much smaller than the 12,000-square-foot store proposed for Burlington. And the Hanover Co-op, on which Onion River would model its downtown store, is just that — a model. In other words, everything on this trip must be taken with a grain of salt. The fact that we aren't stopping at a Shaw's supermarket — the third player in the downtown supermarket competition — speaks to what City Councilor Matt Gardy (R-Ward 7) considers the national chain's greatest asset: "You and I know what we're getting with Shaw's," he says. What his New North End constituents want, he adds, is "a real supermarket." And at a proposed 45,000 square feet with projected weekly sales of more than $350,000, Shaw's definitely fits that bill. Gardy also points to the supermarket chain's track record as a key selling point. A report compiled by the Community and Economic Development Office describes Shaw's as "the strongest company financially" among the three — on the strength of its 170 stores, dating back to the 1850s, without one closure. The November 15 City Council meeting will include a public hearing on the matter, with council action possible by December 6, according to Jane Knodell, a Progressive city councilor from Ward 2 and an Onion River Co-op member. But deep pockets may not add up to the best deal for downtown Burlington, Knodell cautions from the back row of the van. While she acknowledges that "in some ways Shaw's would be the easiest," and probably what her Old North End constituents would prefer, fitting such a large store into such a tight space would give rise to zoning issues the other proposals do not. Shaw's "takes an urban site and puts a very suburban supermarket there," she says. The C E D O report fleshes out the details — a parking lot facing S. Winooski Ave., loading docks facing S. Union St. and an estimated three semi deliveries a day, compared with the Co-op's 10 per week and Mac's four per week. All in all, the report concludes, the Shaw's plan would have the "largest impact on the neighborhood." And this doesn't take into account the possible expansion of

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A bysload of Burlirigtoriiaris shop around for the greatest grocery the Grand Union on Shelburne Road, a development that could undermine Shaw's ability to draw people downtown, according to Knodell. Size is obviously on people's minds as we roam the aisles of Mac's on Route 100 where the IGA used to be. "You want to know what it makes me think of?" asks Lorraine Lessard, one of the residents of 230 St. Paul ("Wrinkle City," she calls the address). "Kerry's Kwik Stop, across the street there." Lessard finds a favored brand of maple cookie and makes a price comparison: 99 cents at Mac's, 89 cents at Kerry's. "The question is, can Mac's offer lower prices in a larger store?" says Chapin Spencer, the Ward 1 Progressive city councilor — also an Onion River Co-op member. Co-op board member Don Schramm briefs me on the difference between "conventional" and "organic." Theresa Desmarais pushes a cart past on her quest for jelly, stopping to pick up some jalapeno-flavored Doritos snack crackers at a quarter a pack. Something tells me she and her friends are not typical co-op shoppers. When we return to the van, I ask the women of 230 St. Paul what they're looking for in a grocery store, and I'm not surprised they don't bring up bovine growth hormone or local ownership. 'Location and price," responds Lessard without hesitation, as she and Dorothy Brooks compare notes on saltines. Mac's Market

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rhile a Burlington Mac's Market would be considerably larger than the Stowe store, Knodell, who is also an economics professor at the University of Vermont, says their sales projections — the lowest among the three contenders at $90,000 per week — make the store the least economically viable. "I think their vision is too limited," she says, adding that with such narrow profit margins, "a couple of bad months and you're in trouble." One of the things Onion River Co-op has going for it, Knodell notes, is a loyal customer base. That gives it a reliable foundation on which to build a projected $114,000 in weekly sales — $38,000 more than it is bringing in at the current North Winooski Avenue locaf tion. But there's room for improvement, particularly in the areas of price, selection and customer service. Over the years, Schramm concedes, "the co-op has not always been a welcoming place for a lot of people." As Knodell says, "They have to convince my constituents that it's going to be theirs tore, too." Her constituents aren't aboard this afternoon, but the women of 230 St. Paul, which include

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page 15

Marjorie Higgins, are like them in one key respect: They've been making the trip down Shelburne Road — via taxi, bus and dutiful son-inlaw — to shop at the newly expanded Price Chopper, where Lessard and her neighbors believe their money goes the furthest. Lessard demonstrates her pricesensitivity once we've entered the Hanover Co-op. "I've just seen something I can't resist," she exclaims, nearly bowling me over in the produce section as she lunges for scallions — a bargain at 50 cents a pound. I follow her through the section, noting the high quality of the produce. Many items indicate the country or state of origin. She pauses by the tempeh and tofu, but moves along. City Councilor Spencer lingers, though. "I happen to live in an area where people value access to good-quality produce," he notes. His constituents — which include many college students and employees in the neighborhood bordered by Main and Willard streets and Riverside Avenue — have been vocal in their support of a co-op, he says, at the rate of three phone calls and four e-mails a day. Emphasizing that he's on this trip as an elected representative charged with "listening to all the information and making an informed decision," Spencer cites the failure of other council members to do the same — particularly those opposed to the Co-op's proposal — as his "biggest beef" with the grocery store selection process. Republican councilor Gardy

has a few beefs of his own with the process — specifically, with the presence of several Onion River Co-op members on the supermarket selection committee. As the October 11 public hearing revealed, he isn't alone in this concern. While Gardy doesn't think there's a "conspiracy" at work, he considers the perception that there might be an obstacle to the success of an Onion River Co-op downtown. "If we jam the Co-op down their throats, do you think they're going to go in there?" he asks. "I think they could possibly run a decent operation there," he adds, but "those in control of the Co-op are probably just a little more motivated to be in control of it than the average person who wants to shop there...You just can't be guaranteed that stuff is not going to be freed from the political type of influence." And that, he says, can erode consumer confidence. Better to trust in Shaw's, because "they know the science of what makes it work," Gardy says, than an operation not perceived as "a real grocery store." Gardy is not the only critic on this score. The CEDO report cites the gap between the present and proposed Onion River Co-ops as a "weakness" of their proposal. Schramm considers that assessment unfair. "It's kind of a strange argument in a way," he says — one attributable to the Co-op's "tremendous success at being an organic whole-foods store." He counters the criticism by pointing to the roster of experienced outside

L I V E M U S I C at

consultants guiding the Co-op's transition, supply lines already firmly iryjlace,~as Weft as a similar leap made by the Hunger Mountain Co-op. And the Hanover Coop, he adds, "is ready to be there to help us every step of the way."

strongest selling points of the ^ Onion Ipver Cb-op proposal draw on the co-op concept itself. At Hanover, store profits are returned to local members as "patronage refunds," to the tune of $4 million over the past decade. Onion River passes profits along in the form of member discounts, Schramm says, but the potential to share the wealth remains very real. No decisions have been made about which way the proposed downtown co-op would disburse its profits, but in theory, "the only place it can go is right back to the members," Schramm says. Co-operative ownership also enables the store to be more responsive to customers' needs, Schramm adds. Co-op consultants have gathered useful information about consumer demand, and the co-op will form committees of board members, staff and "a crosssection of people from the downtown area" to serve a far more diverse customer base than the coop presently serves. "Part of our vision is involving people," he says. "The reality is, our membership is going to change once our doors open...I think that being a downtown supermarket, our membership is going to be more reflective of downtown Burlington." Perhaps that would mean selling cigarettes — which, along with lottery tickets, will not be found in any aisle. Or a regular Friday-afternoon wine demonstration, like they have in Hanover. Strolling by, I sample a cup of Michel Picard Syrah — a "fruity and spicy wine"

ow helpful the Hanover coop can be remains to be seen. The store — 18,500 square feet of gleaming floors, warm lighting and a pleasing paucity of advertising banners and cheesy floor displays — makes a strong impression. The shelves are stocked with brand-name products alongside organic and bulk counterparts — a strategy requested by consumers back in the early '90s to make comparison shopping easier, according to Hanover Co-op Education Director Rosemary Fifield. "There's not much that we don't sell," she says, including tobacco products, which the Onion River Co-op does not plan to offer. But Hanover began by selling conventional goods and added on natural products. Onion River will develop in the opposite direction — adding conventional products to its typical product offerings in a 50/50 mix, says Schramm. What's more, Hanover is "an upscale community," Schramm notes, demographically different from Burlington. Making the 10-mile trip to the big-box supermarkets in West Lebanon is a far cry from cruising down Shelburne Road. For Schramm, some of the

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— and a bit of zingy blue cheddar on a tasteless, cardboard-colored ) cracker. I'm pleased to find so many \ferfnont products in plain view — Putney Pasta, maple syrup, cider from the Chittenden Cider Mill. I find what I'm looking for: Pop Tarts — real ones — competitively priced at $1.75. Back in the van, the Co-op gets rave reviews. I don't recall seeing the women of 230 St. Paul St. hovering near the bins of bulk rice and barley, but Lessard is proud to have snagged a box of Sunbelt S'more's granola treats for $1.59 — she says they're $1.95 at the Price Chopper. "This store is nice," she says to the unanimous agreement of her neighbors. "I hope you get it," she adds with a nod toward Schramm as we pull out of the lot. "If only we could pick it up and move it," Spencer adds. He could be reading from the CEDO report: "The Committee agrees that the Hanover Co-op is a model store because it is a community-based and locally owned store that provides a wide selection of items at affordable prices." The fact that there is a CEDO report, and that the people of Burlington have been invited to voice their opinions — by the Onion River Co-op today, by the City Council again on November 15 — may speak to the centrality of food in the life of a community. The council will ultimately make the selection — in a process far from perfect — but it's not every city where future patrons are at least invited along for the ride. ®

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Paul Asbell Jazz Trio Buffet catered by Cloud 9 Catering Silent Auction

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SEVEN DAYS

november 10, 1999

6 5 8 - 1 1 3 0 or 1 - 8 8 8 - 6 5 8 - 1 1 3 0

Most classes run November 15 - January 16. (YMCA Members pay fee in parentheses. Some classes pro-rated for holidays.)

YGROUP EXERCISE

AEROBICS Aerobic Class Pass Participate in

any of our 19 aerobic classes each week. Step, Hi/Lo Impact, Bottom Line and more. $89 SPINNING

An intense group workout on stationary bikes. Call for class times.

Spinning Payment Options:

1 class/session: $52 ($34) 2 class/session: $101 ($65) 3 class/session: $146 ($92) 10 class punch card: $65 ($45) Walk-in Payment: $11 per class ($6)

Never-Too-Late Nautilus Strength

Little Gymies

training for folks over 50 to improve strength and energy levels, ease arthritis pain & build strong bones. Tue/Fri 9 - 10am $60 ($38)

(18 mos. - 3 yrs. with parent) Sat 9:05 - 9:35am $34.50 ($25.50)

DANGE AT THE YMCA Teens: Theatre Dance

Nov. 18 - Jan. 15. Learn to move and groove Broadway style. Wear jazz shoes or go barefoot. Comfortable clothing recommended. Thu 3 - 4 p m $49 ($38) Swing is King Nov. 19 - Dec. 17.

Learn the Jitterbug, East Coast and West Coast styles. Fri 7:30 - 8:30pm $56 couple ($46) Music Video Style

YHEALTH & FITNESS SPECIALTY FITNESS CLASSES

Y-Box A high-energy fitness class combining self-defense and boxing moves for a total body workout. Tue 1 - 2pm, Thu 9 - 10am or Fri 5:15-6:15pm. $37 ($28) Tai Chi Intro, classes focus on breathing and concentration, and are appropriate for adults of all ages and fitness levels. Tue/Thu 6:10 - 7am $84 ($58) Weight Loss Through Weight

Training Use the latest strengthtraining concepts and aerobic endurance activities to lose fat and gain muscle definition. Tue/Thurs 7 - 8pm, Sat 10-11am $88 ($56) AT CLOAREC HALL. HOLY CROSS CHURCH.COLCHESTER Astanga (Power) Yoga

Nov. 17 - Dec. 22. This challenging, sweaty form of yoga combines traditional yoga poses with focused gazing, breath control, connecting movements and isometrics. Wed 7 - 8 p m $50 ($38) Y-Box. Nov. 16 - Dec. 21. This highenergy fitness class combines selfdefense and boxing moves for a total body workout. Tue 5:30-6:30pm $38 ($30) PRE/POST-NATAL EXERCISES Pre/Post-Natal Exercise Class

Cardiovascular exercise, strength conditioning, stretching and relaxation for moms & moms-to-be. Fri 9-9:45am $36 ($27) Mommy & Me Bring your baby (ages 6 wks. to 9 mos.) to a class designed to exercise both of you. Parent/baby exercises teach meaningful play, encourage selfdiscovery and help develop baby's physical control. Fri 10-10:30am $36 ($27)

YWATER FITNESS Pre & Post-Natal Water Exercise

Safe water exercises for the pregnant or post-partum woman to help relieve lower back pain & swelling, maintain muscle tone and increase blood circulation. Mon/Wed 7 - 8pm $70 ($49) Splash & Tone A program for

adults of all fitness levels. Tue/Thu 9 - 10am $70 (free) Tue/Thu 6:30 - 7:30pm $70 ($49)

HydroPower Wave Challenge

yourself to this high-energy, lowimpact water workout. Tue/Thu Noon - 1pm $70 (free) Water Tai Chi Bring together the flowing movements of tai chi with the calming effects of water. Tue/Thu 1 - 2pm $70 ($49) Water Aerobics A fast-paced

workout designed to increase your cardiovascular strength and endurance. Mon/Wed 6 - 7pm $70 ($49) Mon/Wed/Fri 6:15 - 7:15am $93 (free) Fit 'n' Fun Water exercises and water games. Tue/Thu 6:15 - 7:15am $70 (free) **Sign up for Water Aerobics and Fit 'n' Fun for $84. YMCA Arthritis Exercise Class

Offered with the Arthritis Foundation, the class includes gentle exercises performed in water. Warmth, buoyancy and resistance help decrease pain and stiffness, and maintain or improve joint flexibility. No swim skills needed. Attend any of the class times: Mon/Wed/Fri 1 - 2pm and Tue/Thu 8 - 9am $80 ($52) Aquatic Exercise for People with

MS Offered with the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, this program offers the opportunity for recreation while helping maintain mobility, prevent secondary symptoms of MS, maintain or improve flexibility, maximize muscle strength and maintain or increase endurance potential. Mon/Wed Noon - 12:45pm $70($49)

YOLDER ADULTS Silver Foxes Moderately-paced, co-

ed exercise class for those over 50. Includes land exercise and optional water exercise. Gym and Pool: Mon/Wed/Fri 8 - 9:30am $90 ($72) Gym only: Mon/Wed/Fri 8-8:50am $76 ($60)

Nov. 20 - Dec. 18. Learn to funk and groove with choreography similar to that used in popular hip-hop videos. Sat 4 - 5 p m $30 ($23) Swing Duo Jan. 8 & 15. Week one covers the Jitterbug & Week two leads you through the East Coast Swing. Sat 4 - 5pm $32 couple ($26) AT ESSEX CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH.ESSEX

Latin 101 Nov. 16 - Dec. 21. Learn the Rhumba, Samba, Mambo, Chacha & Merengue. Thu 7 - 8pm $90 couple ($75) AT CLOAREC HALL. HOLY CROSS CHURCH.COLCHESTEB Social Graces Nov. 16 - Dec. 14.

A thorough course in the basics of Foxtrot, Tango and Waltz. Tue 6:30 - 7:30pm $75 couple ($63) Simply Swing Includes the Lindy, Jitterbug and East Coast Rhythms. Nov. 16 - Dec. 14. Tue 7:30 - 8:30pm $75 couple ($63) Dec. 21-Jan. 11 Tue 6:30 - 7:30pm $60 couple ($50) AT TRINITY COLLEGE Beginner Tap Nov. 15 - Jan. 10.

No class Dec. 27. No experience necessary. Tap shoes recommended, but not required. Mon 9-10am $48 ($36) "All That Jazz" Nov. 21 - Jan. 16. No

class Dec. 26. A taste of the Broadway influence on dancing. Beginner - Intermediate level. Sun 6 - 7pm $48 ($36) AT THE MCCLURE MULTIGENERATIONAL CENTER Ballet Conditioning

Nov. 19 - Dec. 17. A head-to-toe muscle workout for all levels of fitness. Fri 6:30 - 7:30pm $32 ($24)

Tiny Tumblers

( 3 - 5 yrs. with parent) Sat 9:40 - 10:10am $34.50 ($25.50) Beginner Gymnastics

(6 - 12yrs.) Sat 10:15-11am $46.50 ($30)

SELF DEFENSE/MARTIAL ARTS Shotokan Karate Ages 7 and up.

YSWIM LESSONS

Develop self confidence and self discipline while enhancing your balance, agility, strength and endurance. Adult students also learn self-defense. Tue/Thu 4 - 5:15pm $84 ($58) Ages 17 & under: $10/session Kickboxing (Ages 13 - adult) The class focuses on the skills of punching, kicking, and blocking, with heavy bag work, pad drills and fighting strategy. Safety is emphasized. A whole body exercise improves endurance, strength, flexibility and self confidence. Wed 6:45 - 8:15pm $67 ($40) Advanced Class Sat 12 - 1pm $33.75 ($20.25) Ninpo TaU'utsu Self-Defense

Learn striking and hand-to-hand fighting methods known as Taijutsu, including techniques for leaping, climbing, falling and rolling without injury. Fri at the YMCA and Wed at Mt. Philo Dojo in Charlotte 7:10 -8:30pm $63 ($43.50) Youth Ski Trip at Bolton Valley

Jan. 11 - Feb. 18. An after-school ski program for ages 10 - 1 6 years appropriate for beginners and experienced skiers. Staff supervision and transportation provided by the YMCA. Call for cost. Thu 3:30-8pm

YBASKETBALL Co-ed Youth Basketball Clinic

For boys & girls ages 8 - 1 0 years. Learn the fundamentals of basketball through drills & practice games. Fee includes a Tshirt. Sat 2:30-4pm $30 ($18.75)

Dec. 10 - March 10. Offered in conjunction with FAHC, this free 12week program is physician-referred and monitored by medical personnel. It includes land and water exercise classes. Fri 9 - 10am at Memorial Auditorium Loft & 10:15 - 11am in YMCA pool.

Children use age-appropriate equipment and activities such as music, hoops, balls, tumbling mats, and later gymnastic equipment, to develop physically and socially. A great parent/child activity for younger children. Beginner gymnasts develop self confidence, coordination and flexibility.

Swim Lessons The YMCA

offers swim lessons for people of all ages. For information on times and fees, call 862-9622. Classes include parent/child classes for ages 6 months to 3 years, classes for independent swimmers ages 3 - 5 years, youth swim classes for ages 6 and older, teen swim lessons and adult lessons. Adaptive Swim Program The "

YMCA offers individualized swim instruction for persons with disabilities. A parent or care-giver is required to assist swimmers in the locker room. Volunteers are needed for this program. Contact Adaptive Swim Coordinator Diane Chandler at 862-9622 to register.

Become a YMCA member and enjoy our Nautilus/ Cardiovascular Center, aerobic classes, free weights, two pools and much more. Individual, senior and family memberships available.

divisions for all levels of play. Open to 20 teams of up to 12 players. Nov. 9 - Apr. 6. Tue/Thu 7:05 - 1 0 pm Team fee: $500 3-on-3 Basketball League Eight

teams play 20-minute halves. The 8week league runs Dec. 5 - Jan. 23. Sun 5 - 7 p m $30 ($20)

Financial Assistance Is available for YMCA programs and membership. CaU 862-9622 for info.

Nov. 16 - Jan. 4. No class Nov. 23 or Dec. 28. Expand your horizons to the rhythm of the islands. Tue 6 - 7 p m $48 ($36)

YGYMNAST1CS

gym for creative movement and tumbling, then head for the pool for fun swim activities. Program meets one day per week. Group 1: Ages 2 & 3 (w/ parent) Sat 11am - noon $63 ($51) Group 2: Ages 3-5 (w/o parent) Sat 11:30am - 12:30pm $70 ($59)

ADULT BASKETBALL Men's Basketball League Two

AT EDMUNDS MIDDLE SCHOOL Polynesian Dance

YMCA Diabetes Program

Tumble and Splash Go to the

Greater Burlington

YMGA

266 College St. Burlington Call 862-9622 to register.

Y B

november 10, 1999

YMCA We build s strong families, strong communities. 1

SEVEN DAYS

page

35mr~

zard A

uess

BY ERIK ESCKILSEN

oin ug f o r tkese fine wine and f o o d tastings while participating in a silent auction of pieces from cal artists. All to benefit tke healing process of w o m e n facing hreast cancer. Monday, November 15 Villa Tragara, Waterbury Center Listen to The Point at 104.7 FM for details or visit our website at www.pointfm.com

Shop for Free at University Mall! Imagine your holiday shopping for FREE! It can happen this November at University Mall. Every weekday, Monday - Friday, from November 1-24, one lucky shopper will have their entire day's mall purchases reimbursed! Just register your receipts Customer Service Desk. Each one name will be drawn at random to ha\ re d purchases reimi

SHOP EARLY & SHOP You mfc shopping for F

(No purchase necessary to See customer service for

voapage

SEVEN DAYS

november 10, 1999

ere's one death that won't be mistaken for a hunting accident: The corpse was found on the railroad tracks in downtown Brattleboro, positioned so that the head, hands — and fingerprints along with them — would blow out of town with the evening train. To the untrained eye, it appeared to be a standard vagrants suicide. But to Lt. Joe Gunther, protagonist of Newfane mystery author Archer

Mayor's latest novel, Occam's Razor, it only looked that way. Sure, the hands on the tracks could have been a coincidence, and the deceased was dressed in rags. But the man's pockets were empty and, most bizarre of all, his underpants were "snowy white." The murder is soon followed by two more — a fatal stabbing and the inadvertent freezing death of an infant left behind — and the plot grows more sordid and more complex. As the details

Occam's Razor, by Archer Mayor. Mysterious Press, 352 pp., $23.95.

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suspicions about the senator's involvement in hazardousmaterials dumping. Traces of toxins showed up all over the railroad victim. His underpants, it turns out, were

fighting chance at unraveling the mystery, in turn, makes for the most compelling read. * - ' In Occam's Razor, Mayor honors this process only part of the time. While the novel is rich with familiar motifs — settings you've visited, people you've met, the dark undersides of small-

enforcement initiative, but it is not very useful in navigating this novel's intricate plot. T h e most critical information arrives — in considerable volume — closer to the novel's end, creating the disappointing effect that this is a mystery to be witnessed, not engaged with in the way that

Traces of toxins showed up all over the railroad victim. His underpants, it turns out, were about the only clean thing on him.

of the seemingly unrelated murders emerge, so does one name in connection with both: state Senator Jim Reynolds. The local attorney-turned-judiciary Committee chairman has been on the stump promoting a bill to streamline the 60-odd police

departments dotting the Green Mountain State into one lean, mean force. Although Gunther is not a huge Reynolds supporter, he agrees that the system could use some improvement. He's doubtful Reynolds is the man to lead the charge, though, given

Opening

November

about the only clean thing on him. I'm not sure what it says about us as culture that clean underpants can so quickly thicken a plot. What they say about Mayor, though, is that he understands how enticing even mundane details are to a reader attempting to solve the crime ahead of the detective and his Brattleboro PD. After all, it's often simple clues that put the reader on something approaching an equal footing with the folks on the case. That

town life that locals lack the luxury of ignoring — this creates only a false sense of certainty about what could explain the murders. No sooner do possible connections materialize than other evidence sails in from left field, blowing down whatever house of cards the reader may have constructed. The title Occam's Razor, then, proves a tad deceptive. A reference to the theory of 14th-century theologian William of Occam, "Occam's Razor" proposes that when competing theories attempt to explain the same phenomena, the simplest one is usually the best. The theory relates directly to Reynolds' centralized law-

makes skillfully wrought works in the genre impossible to put down. Diminishing the impact of Occam's Razor somewhat is the absence of strong dramatic conflict beyond the crime scene. Those familiar with Mayor's earlier books will remember the affronts, frame-ups and sundry violence to which Gunther and his supporting cast have been subjected. Here, Gunther's problem is a bit of middle-aged ennui exacerbated by a live-in relationship that has reached the thrill-isgone stage. As likable as Gunther may be, his personal stake in Continued on page 20

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Hazard A Guess Continued from page 19

matters unfolding around him doesn't inspire a tremendous amount of sympathy. Gunther himself, though hardly cheered by the prospect of losing longtime love Gail Zigman, a deputy state's attorney who was raped in 1994's Fruits of the Poisonous Tree, seems ready to let things run their course. This lack of energy makes the mystery's midsection, like Gunther's own, sag a bit. Still, fans of Mayors nine previous Joe Gunther mysteries are unlikely to be disappointed. Many aspects of his writing that have garnered praise in the past are still strong in Occam's Razor.

As with 1997 s Bellows Folk the r story's setting acts as a principal character. The way Mayor describes a down-at-the-heels, post-industrial Brattleboro places him in a special category among Vermont writers: those with the brutal honesty to depict the state without a filter of boosterism or sentiment. On a road trip to Montpelier, for example, Gunther riffs on the "untainted natural beauty" myth of Vermont, noting that at one point in the state's agricultural history, 80 percent of the land had been under cultivation. Yet Gunther is no cynic. While one can feel the oppressive weight of the "flat, gray skillet of ominous, snow-laden clouds"

dogging his trail, one can also identify with the emotional stirrings br-oUgKtTon by a big, fluffy snowfall, at once menacing and magical — "less like an act of nature and more like a spiritual event," as Gunther puts it. Occasionally the detective plays armchair historian, offering insights on such local topics as the quirky machinations of the state legislature, and a rundown on the centuries-old rivalry between Vermont and New Hampshire. Again, Gunther seems less intent on extolling the charm of our little state than on delineating the social and political boundaries of the place where he does business. Readers who recognize

^ Gunther s haunts, as well as those > for whom his Vermont is a foreign place, may be charmed nonetheless. Mayors sense of place has been consistently praised by critics, leading The New York Times Book Reviews Marilyn Stasio, in her review of 1996 s Ragman's Memory, to credit the author with making "an honorable art form of the regional mystery." This time out, Mayor honors the region more than the mystery genre, yielding a novel more scenic than suspenseful. ® Author Archer Mayor will be profiled on CBS' "Sunday Morning" November 14. Check local listings for the time.

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SEVEN DAYS

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sOUnd AdviCe ELLEN POWELL & MARK VAN GULDEN (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. ZEN (trance party w/DJ Sam I Am), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $3/4. THE DETONATORS (blues/r&b), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. BLUE RODEO, OH, SUSANNA (alt-country), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $15. CHROME COWBOYS (vintage country), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. LIQUID (house music w/Craig Mitchell), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. NC/$2. REGGAE DJ, J.P's Pub, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. DJ JOEY K (hip-hop), Last Chance Saloon, 10:30 p.m. NC. KING & HARTS0N (rock) Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. BLUE OYSTER CULT, 8084 (rock), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $16/18. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LINE DANCING (instruction with Dancin' Dean), Cobbweb, 7 p.m. newcomers, 8 p.m. open dance, $5/6. GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-songwriter), Jake's, 6:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Swany's, 9 p.m. NC. TNT KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle,

WEDNESDAY

VOODOO YOU LOVE If The

IRISH FOLK, Dockside, 7 p.m. NC. JENNI JOHNSON TRIO (jazz/blues), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE (hosts Bob Bolyard & Eric Brenner), 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC. SIRIUS (groove rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. BARBAC0A, FOUND SOUND ENSEMBLE (surf; C D release party; noise), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $3. HIP-HOP NIGHT (DJs), Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. COLLEGE ST. MAGAZINE PARTY W/DJS MARK ANTHONY, CHIA, CRAIG MITCHELL, MOONFLOWER (all night dance party), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $6/8. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. ART EDELSTEIN (jazz), Tavern, Inn at Essex, 6 p.m. NC. DON SHELDON, MITCH BARRON & TODD SAGAR (jazz instrumental), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. $2.

Meters got any funkier, they'd have to

take Ritalin. The legendary New Orleans swamp-titans added "Funky" to their name officially for Ifegal reasons, but after 25 years of international butt-shaking, we already knew their spell-binding groove. The South rises again this Tuesday at Higher Ground.

CULT FAVORITES Back in the days when metal was more fun,

OPEN MIKE, Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. Blue Oyster Cult made a

name for themselves as "the thinking person's heavy-metal group." Organized in 1967 at Stony Brook

THURSDAY

College on Long Island by a bunch of guys — two of whom went on tq become rock critics — the band

TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES (blues/soul), Dockside, 7 p.m. NC.

was originally called Soft White Underbelly. That's exactly what some of these aging rockers might have now, but, the point is, they still rock. Vermont legends 8084 open the show at Higher Ground this

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We'll be there.

T R A G I C O V E R T U R E BY B R A H M S AND THE C H O R A L D E B U T OF V E R M O N T ' S N E W STATE S O N G

Sunday, November 21, 1999 at 3:00 p.m. Ira Allen Chapel UVM Campus Burlington And we'll be square.

$ 12 General Admission, $ 10 Seniors and Students [6]

Advance tickets: Borders Books & Music on Church St., or call the UVM Ticket Store 656-3085

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9:30 p.m. NC. STEPHEN FEARING (singersongwriter), Live Art/Folk at the Wood, 7:30 p.m. $10 JOHN HALL W/FREEBO (rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. $5-7.

hop; DJs Frostee & Robbie J.), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $'3/5.s „ CURRENTLY NAMELESS (groove rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Henrys Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. THE MACHINE (Pink Floyd tribute), Higher Ground, 7:30 p.m. $10/12. MR. FRENCH (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. TANTRUM (rock), Champions, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. N C . SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jims Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. JUKEBOX HEROES (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. CYLINDER (rock), Swany's, 9 p.m. N C . FULL CIRCLE (DJ), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. JENNI10HNS0N (jazz/blues), J.P. Morgans, 7:30 p.m. NC. TRIO PRISMA (Latin jazz; first anniversary party), Capitol Grounds, 8 p.m. NC. BLUE FOX (blues-rock), Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. MONIKA HEIDEMANN & SETH EAMES (jazz/blues), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $5 with dinner. LEFT EYE JUMP (jump blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. N C . JAMIE LEE & THE RATTLERS

FRIDAY

CLYDE STATS (jazz), Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC. JOE CAPPS & SHAUNA ANTONIAC (jazz), Dockside, 7 p.m. NC. THE PILFERERS, STEP LIVELY, SHOELESS JOE, RIVER CITY REBELS (punk), 242 Main, 7 p.m. $6. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. N C . ANDY KUNCL (singer-songwriter), Borders, 8 p.m. NC. PENNY LANG (singer-songwriter), Burlington Coffee house at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $6. ADAM ROSENBURG (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. RODNEY & FRIENDS (acoustic), Ri Ra, 6 p.m. NC, followed by GYPSY REEL (Irish), 10 p.m. $2. MECCA BODEGA (percussive tribal groove), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. ROB HANDEL (piano) 135 Pearl, 6 p.m. NC, followed by DJ FROSTY, 9 p.m. $4/5, followed by DJ CRAIG MITCHELL, 11 p.m. $4/5. TOP HAT DJ, Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. BABALOO (punk mambo), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $5. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rockabilly), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. ORGY (retro remix/r&b/hip-

weekly

listings

S T A G E

(country-rock; Deer Camp Widows Weekend), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $7. REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. NC. SNAKE MEDICINE (rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. $5-7. MILO Z (funk), Wobbly Barn, 9 p.m. $6-8.

13 SATURDAY

IN REACH, PLEASANT TENSE, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, CROSS GATE (hardcore), 242 Main, 7 p.m. $5. DAWN DECKER (jazz), Dockside, 7 p.m. NC. BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC. BARBARA KESSLER, TODD THIBAUD (singer-songwriters), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $8. MARC BRISSON (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. DJ LITTLE MARTIN, 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rockabilly), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. RETRONOME (DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. GYPSY REEL (Irish), Ri Ra, 10 p.m. $2. ULU (funk/jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. NC, followed by DJS TIM DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b), 10 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK ('80s DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. HIP-HOP PARTY (DJs Spin & Irie), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $3/5. DJ JOEY K (hip-hop), Last

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After Dark Music Series, Knights of Columbus Hall, Middlebury, 388-0216. Alley-Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Barnes & Noble Booksellers, 100 Dorset St., S. Burlington, 864-8001. Boony's, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St.. Burlington, 865-2711. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cambridge Coffee House, Smuggler's Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. Champion's, 32 Main St., Winooski, 655-4705. Charlie O's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Extreme, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Club 156, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 658-3994. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Diamond Jim's Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Dockside Cafe, 209 Battery, Burlington, 864-5266. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Finnigan's Pub, 205 College St., Burlington, 864-8209. Franny O's 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Good Times Cafe. Hineshurg Village, Rt. 116, 482-4444. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. The Hidden Bean, Redstone Campus, UVM, Burlington, 656-2060. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Horn of the Moon Cafe. 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 223-2895. Jake's, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. J.P. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. LaBrioche, 89 Main St., Montpelier, 229.-0443. Last Chance Saloon, 147 Main, Burlington, 862-5159. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Live Art at the Barre Opera House, 476-8188, or Wood Art Gallery, Montpelier, 883-9307. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Mad River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-8910. Main St. Bar & Grill, 118 Main St., Montpelier, 223-3188. Manhattan Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. The Nightspot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Starksboro Community Coffee House, Village Meeting House, Rt. 116, Starksboro, 434-4254. Strand Theater, 25 Brinkerhoff St., Pittsburgh, 518-566-7265. Swany's, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4, Killington, 422-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Wobbly Barn, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3392.

W W W . B I B H E A V Y W Q R U D . C O M

L O C A L MUSIC O N L I N E ! P U K E POP TOP 2 0 • f E E K L V CO G I V E A f A f S • S E V E N O A f S C L U B L I S 1 I N 6 S

Rusty Nail kicks off Winter Seas th Nov 12713 Deer Camp Widows Weekend featuring:!!!

Rattlers • .All weekend long

Former Mynbers of 80's Rock Band TESLA

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continued on page 2 5

Club

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"FALLING

(country; line dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny Os, 9 p.m. NC. JUKEBOX HEROES (rock), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. CYLINDER (rock), Swany's, 9 p.m. NC. TNT (DJ), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. JAMIE LEE & THE RATTLERS (country-rock; Deer Camp Widows Weekend), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $7. BL00Z0T0MY (jump blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. DJ BETTY, Charlie O's, 9 p.m. NC. SNAKE MEDICINE (rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. $5-7. RUSTIC OVERTONES (groove

www.sevendaysvt.com

P R E S E N C E

MAD RIVER

Chance Saloon, 9 p.m. NC. REDWING (Irish), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. GUY COLASACCO (singersongwriter), Jake's, 6:30 p.m. NC. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Henrys Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. BOB GESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. GROOVE COLLECTIVE, COUSIN DAVE (acid jazz, DJ), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $10/12. MR. FRENCH (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. TANTRUM (rock), Champion's, 9 p.m. NC. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. CONRAD SAMUELS BAND

FORWARD"

SOFA KING

Nov, 19/20th 8 piece rockin' horn band

PLATFORM SOUL credit card sales Tickets available at Crossroads Beverage, Waterbury Main St. News, Montpelier • Stowe Beverage The Flynn Box Office Sponsored by: Champ, WOKO, Budweiser & Wilson's Auto

^novetnberl 0,1999

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ONE M A I N ST. • WINOOSKI • INFO 6 5 4 - 8 8 8 8 DOORS 8 PM • SHOW 9 PM unless noted /1THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 11 S16 ADVANCE SI8 DAY OF SHOW l \ SAM ADAMS •« & 106.7 WIZH WELCOME

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SUNDAY. NOVEMBER 14 S10 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW

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LEFTOVERSALMON B A D LIVERS

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18 $17 ADVANCE $20 DAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN & OTTER CREEK WELCOME

JAZZ IS D E A D

STRINGS ATTACHED The crowd packed Nectars last Tuesday, and it wasn't just for the fries. The finals of the Advance Music Acoustic Guitar competition were the big draw, and the winner is...Greg Douglass! The young Vermont singer-songwriter has been wowing a growing number of fans since his stunning debut CD, If I Were a Man, this past year, though his performance beat out second-place winner RUSS Chapman by a hair, who in turn bested Chris Sutton by another fraction. "They were all really spectacular," enthused Advance Musics Mike Trombley. Even better news, for Douglass anyway, was that the $1200 guitar Ovation promised for the competition was not available, so they sent one worth $1600 instead! Nice when talent and\\ick collide. Douglass sings over eggs and pancakes this Sunday at La Brioche in Montpelier. Congrats to all three winners. SAD DAY I'm very sorry to report that trumpeter Lester Bowie died Monday night of liver cancer. The revered jazz musician became an honorary Vermonter these past couple of years with extensive residencies serving more than 15,000 people, and performances in not only concert halls but in unlikely venues like Shaw's supermarket in Barre, elementary schools and the Vermont State House. The disease was only detected recently and is known as one of the fastestacting cancers. The only consolation may be that he did not suffer long. "He touched the lives of a lot of people in Vermont," says TelOS Whitfield, residency and special project coordinator at the Flynn Theatre. She notes that anyone who wishes to send personal condolences to Bowie's wife Deborah and family can contact her at 652-4539.

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MONDAY, DECEMBER 13 $7 ADVANCE $9 DAY OF SHOW ALL AGES! 99.9 THE BUZZ WELCOMES

ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHER GROUND, FLYNN THEATRE BOX OFFICE, ALL FLYNN OUTLETS, PURE POP, TONES OR CHARGE BY PHONE at 86-FLYNN

MECCA BODEGA, LIVE (Fang, CD) — An excellent documentary film, The Underground Orchestra, played at last month's Vermont International Film Festival and exposed Burlington to the multi-cultured aggregation of exiled musicians who make their livings by performing in Paris subway stations. Mecca Bodega, a six-piece New York City ensemble that employs traditional percussion to propel their trippy world-beat song structures, is the domestic version of the very same idea. Regardless of the band's international success — they've toured worldwide and composed for a Spike Lee soundtrack — Mecca Bodega insists on keeping a good number of their performances at the underground level. Literally, on the other side of NYC subway turnstiles. This recently released selection of live recordings gives a good sampling of the sounds one might hear while in the throes of an uptown, downtown or crosstown commute. It's an exotic mix of both urban and traditional music — perfect, I suppose, for the urban-jungle cityscape of New York — that is as much "primitive" as it is "modern." Cyclical percussion motifs encircle the drone of a didgeridoo to create an undeniably "tribal" undercurrent. These difficult drumming patterns are well executed and nicely guide the band's overall approach with a sense of sureness. Bass, guitar and pseudo-Rasta vocals are layered across this rich texture, adding melodic movement to the tunes, and the standard rock instruments put an urban-pop twist on it all. While the modern jungle-jazz vibe that ensues is clearly realized, it is at times irritating. I'd prefer listening to these talented musicians, all obviously well-traveled, play unadulterated and pristine percussion patterns of Africa and Brazil — maybe you have to

WWW.HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM

SEVEN DAYS

DEAR DIARY... The plot continues to thicken for Burlington's female rockers Zola Turn. Not only have they finally finished tracks for an upcoming CD, Ninja Jane, but they will have a new cyber-presence on the clothingand-lifestyle Web site Gurlwear.com. Local company Shark Communications set up the gurl gig. "They came up with the idea to do a regular feature type thing that gets updated periodically on their Web site," emails bassist Julia Austin, "sort of a vicarious experience of the sights, sounds and smells ( D O N ' T PRINT THAT!) of rawk." Sorry, gurls, I couldn't resist. Anyway, checking in on the

SINGLE TRACKS Burlington tunesmith Dave Jarvis is back in action, with a full-length C D titled The Vietnam Tapes, about his father, a Vietnam vet, who died at age 22. For the full story, watch Vermont Public Television's "Points North" piece, "With Love From Vietnam," this Wednesday . . . Expect the unexpected this Wednesday at Barbacoa's C D release party at Metronome; in addition to some pounding surf, the opening noise comes from Clark Russell and Tom Lawson's Found Sound Ensemble. If you've lost any sounds lately, this might be the place to find them . . . Local bluesman extraordinaire Kip Meaker hits the stage emulating a jazzman this week and next: He's the star of Stephen Goldberg's new play, Burning Bridges, showing at Metronome starting this Saturday. Jenni Johnson provides a sultry supporting role . . . Hubbies gone huntin', gals? Then you'll want to kick up your heels and do-si-do at Rusty Nail's "Deer Camp Widows' Weekend." Hunky country crooner Jamie Lee Thurston aims to please. ...Montpelier javahouse Capitol Grounds celebrates its first caffeinated birthday this Friday with Latin jazzers . . . Got a musical tip for Rhythm & News? Send it to Pamela Polston at Seven Days, POB 1164, Burlington, VT 05402, e-mail to sevenday@together.net, fax 865-1015 or call 8645684.

Whippersnapper

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SOUNDTRACK ADVICE Musicans who aspire to celluloid ought to get in touch with Bob Gregory, post-production supervisor for Rutland's Edgewood Studios. That's where Vermont filmmaker David Giancola cranks out film after film these days. Gregory says the crew is always looking for music, either as score or as "incidental" sound in, say, a bar or restaurant scene. The current film project is country-oriented — and stars Billy Ray Cyrus of "Achey-Breaky Heart" fame — but if twang is not your thing, three more films are in the works and two scheduled to shoot. In other words, "Action!" is a commonly heard word in Rutland. Wanna be part of it? Send your recorded music to Edgewood Studios, Howe Ctr, #12B, 1 Scale Ave., Rutland, VT 05701. Attn: Bob Gregory.

Band name of the week:

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monthly frolics -— including video/sound clips from shows — of Z T has gotta be some kind of voyeuristic fun. Meanwhile, the power trio gears up (get it?) for a Breast Cancer Board-a-Thon at Stratton on December 5, and a C D release party December 10 at Higher Ground . . .

november 10, 1999

check out the subways for that "real" music experience. But for multiculturalists who revel in the practice of cross-genre pollination, these guys are definitely the thing. Mecca Bodega's ultimately funky set should resonate quite well in Burlington — this Friday at Red Square. —Jeff Fuccillo TODD THIBAUD, LITTLE MYSTERY (Doolittle Records, CD) — Todd Thibaud — the name sounds more suitable to hockey than rocking, but the former Courage Brother frontman has produced a sophomore solo album bursting at the seams with quality, rootsy guitar pop. On Little Mystery, the Vermont-born Massachusetts resident has assembled a crack band and memorable tunes that would be all over the radio in a better world. But despite talk about remixes and crossing over, Little Mystery is just original enough to fall through the cracks between today's narrowly fragmented formats. Not to say the record sounds radical, but producer Jim Scott has worked with Tom Petty, and that 12string Rickenbacker, B3 organ and jangly percussion are all here. But the similarities fall well short of actual Petty larceny. Thibaud's 220-grit voice and literate but unpretentious lyrics sound personal, but with a welcoming melodic familiarity. Standout tracks include the pumped-up, garage-y "Suffer Me," featuring a bracing chorus riff by guitarist Rick Harris, and the excellent mid-tempo closer, "Finer Things" — one of several tracks on which Merrie Amsterberg contributes able backup vocals. The straight-ahead opener, "Don't Save Me," is marred by a too-obvious chorus, and the acoustic "Anywhere" is a bit sticky with sap, but lesser tracks like these are compensated for.by keepers like the wistful yet rocking title track.

Thibaud's sound is similar to that of Freedy Johnston, Wilco or even Tommy Keene, but he retains his originality. This is music that's not quite crucial, but worth checking out. Thibaud performs solo at the Burlington Coffeehouse this Saturday, opening for Barbara Kessler (see below). — Paul Gibson BARBARA KESSLER, BK3(An\st Development Associates, CD) — Boston-area singer-songwriter Barbara Kessler operates in the folk genre but has been known to rock when necessary. A new baby and the resulting limitations on touring have inspired Kessler to create a CD-of-themonth club — a dozen two- to four-song discs for a low, low $24 — to keep in touch with fans. The latest four-song installment, BK3, features all live tracks (recorded at Club Passim in Boston), ranging from solo acoustic to big drum rock, comic to poignant. Kessler has a strong, agile voice comparable to, but grittier than, the likes of Nanci Griffiths or Shawn Colvin. On "Soundtrack," a tribute to the puzzling songs forming the background music of our youth, Kessler rhymes: "You bring your 45s, I'll bring my Frampton Comes Alive," and goes on to dis Jewel, among others, while goofily freestyling the finale. Kessler introduces "Happy With You" as "A happy love song, the only one, so pay attention." She strikes a nice blaance here between romanticism and reality. Her consistently strong guitar work only adds to the power. If this sampler is the tip of the iceberg, Kessler's multifaceted talent should be explored further. Go hear a pair of up-and-coming Boston contenders in an intimate venue while you still can, 'cause these two may be bound for glory. — Paul Gibson

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If a singer-songwriter is caifed "the Richard

Thompson of Canada," we sit up and take notice. But that's not the full story. Stephen Fearing was born in Ontario but raised in Ireland, and the Celtic influence in his music seeps through a filter of some of the finest acoustic folk-blues-country-gospel-jazz you'd ever want to hear. And you can — this Thursday at the T.W. Wood Gallery in Montpelier. Eh?

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continued from page 23 rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $6. MILO Z (funk), Wobbly Barn, 9 p.m. $6-8.

SUNDAY

DAYVE HUCKETT (jazz guitar), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC. GREG RYAN (singer-songwriter), Borders, 3 p.m. N C . SUNDAY SESSIONS (trad. Irish), Ri Ra, 5 p.m. NC. PIANO BAR W/R0B HANDEL, 135 Pearl, 6 p.m. NC. EXCLAMATE (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJ), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $2. HIP-HOP NIGHT W/T0P HAT (DJ), Rasputin's, 9:30 p.m. NC. FRANKIE PAUL W/FITZIE NICENESS (dancehall reggae), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $10/12. DERRICK SEMLER (acoustic blues), Capitol Grounds, 11 a.m. NC. GREG DOUGLASS (singer-songwriter), La Brioche, 11 a.m. NC. RICK REDINGT0N (acoustic rock), Nightspot Outback, 9 p.m. NC.

MONDAY

LYLE L0VETT (country-pop), Flynn Theatre, 8 p.m. $32/40. PRINCES OF BABYLON (reggae), Club Metronome, 9:30 p.m. $2. ALLEY CATS JAM W/NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30

p.m. NC. HUGE MEMBERS (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. DAVE GRIPP0 (funky jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Rasputin's, 9 p.m. NC. JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Chow! Bella, 6 p.m. NC.

242 Mail FRI.1M2.7PMS6 THE PILFERERS

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SHOELESS JOE RIVER CITY REBELS TUESDAY

FUNKY METERS (New Orleans funk), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $20. ART EDELSTEIN (jazz), Tavern, Inn at Essex, 6 p.m. NC. ®

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DAWN DECKER W/DICK F0RMAN & WILL PATT0N (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. N C . OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. Donations. DRAG BINGO W/LADY ZEN0, 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. NC. MARTIN & MITCHELL (DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. LIVE MUSIC, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N C . '80S NIGHT (DJ Frostee), Club Extreme, 9 p.m. $2/NC. BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

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ADVISORY

EXPLICIT CONTENT

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Appearing soon at a grotto near you!

• TUTORING • MATH, ENGLISH, WRITING, SCIENCE, HUMANITIES, PROOFREADING... • TEST PREP • GRE, LSAT, GMAT SAT-1, SAT-II, ACT, GED, fOEFL... Michael Kraemer, 862-6599 november 10, 1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 35mr~

A WORLD OF ART AT

peak sensation:

UVM

DEPARTMENT OF THEATRE

DEPARTMENT OF MUSIC Faculty Recital Sylvia Parker, piano Vermont W i n d E n s e m b l e November 14 at 7:30 p.m. FREE IRA ALLEN CHAPEL

U V M Orchestra November 16 at 7:30 p.m. FREE RECITAL HALL

Artists Mediums

Art Materials« Drafting« C u s t o m Framing

Vt's Most Complete

the story is still relevant. More than just tracing the carecr of the burlesque queen who perfected the "bump and grind," it tells the story of her ambitious stage mother who projects dreams of fame onto her daughters. T h e libretto by Steven Sondheim is based on Gypsy Rose Lee's autobiography, just one of her writing projects. She also penned a few mystery novels, including The G-String Murders. Lyric Theatre takes on the tale of the once-inhibited girl who made her name by taking it all off. Thursday, November 11 & Friday, November 12, 8p.m. Saturday, November 13, 2 & 8p.m. Sunday, November 14, 1 p.m. Flynn Theatre, Burlington. $14-19. Info, 863-5966.

RECITAL HALL

656-3040

November 11,12, 13, 18, 19, 20 at 7:30 p.m. November 21 at 2 p.m. $12.50 Frfc and Sat. Evenings (no discounts) Other Performances $11, or $9 for seniors, full-time students of any age,

FLEMING MUSEUM Lunchtime Lecture: 19th Century American Music U V M Prof. Wayne Schneider Novembei JJ7 at 12:15 p.m.

the grass ceiling:

ROYALL TYLER THEATRE

While Marie Curie began her groundbreaking work in physics and Jane Austen skewered her fellow Victorians, New England women of the 19th century Were rising up in a more rustic way. Call them the original women who ran with wolves. Bucking the male-dominated system, ladies of the late 1800s worked as nature guides, dowsers and game wardens and spent their share of time trapping, hunting and — scandal! — writing for Field and Stream. A modern woman from the Maine Folklife Center, Pauleena MacDougall leads listeners on a trek through the history of women in the woods.

656-2Q94

Strong Hearts: Native American Visions and Voices Photography Exhibition ihrough December 19

LANE SERIES

by gwenn garland

A l a n G a m p e l , Piano All Chopin Program November 12 at 7:30 p.m. $15 UVM RECITAL HALL

The Mating Habits of Lines: Sketchbooks and Notebooks of Ree Mortah through January 23

The York Waits The Waits Wassail December 12 at 7:30 p.m. $15 UVM RECITAL HALL 656-4455

Four Honduran Artists through February 13 656-0750

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Friday, November 12. Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 7:30 p. rn. $5. Register,

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| < A L L E T Madeline Cantarella Culpo, Artistic Director Saturday, Nov. 27, 1999 3:00 p.m. S i 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Nov. 28, 1999 1:00 p.m.

Thanksgiving Weekend AFTER DARK MUSIC SERIES presents Garnet Rogers Sat., November 27th • 7 p.m. One of Canada's most acclaimed singer-songwriters. Gives passionate, powerful performances with his amazing voice.

riff and ready:

Toni Morrison's Jazz. Eudora Welty's Powerhouse. James Baldwin's Sonny's Blues. T h e inscrutable nature of free-form jazz must spark something in writers. So when an actual jazz musician takes u p the pen, you can expect something intense. In Burning Bridges, written by local trumpeter and dramaturge Stephen Goldberg, a legendary jazz cat takes one last shot at lasting success. T h e familiar look and licks of local guitarist Kip Meaker fill the lead role, while local jazz diva Jenni Johnson accompanies. Jazz standards are worked into the play, b u t with all these musicians involved, you can count on a little improvisation.

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Saturday, November 13 through Tuesday, November 16. Club Metronome, Burlington, 8p.m. $10. Info, 865-4563

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chopin stopper • You could say composer Frederic Chopin peaked early. And its a good

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Artsource I

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thing, too, since in his brief, 39-year lifetime he wrote some of the best-known works for piano. H e also managed to transform his style several times — from a precocious Polish prodigy to a trendy Parisian, then back to a devoted Pole with a lot of French friends. Pianist Alan Gampel showcases the three periods in Chopin's life in a concert devoted to the composers works. A fellow prodigy, he adds a unique insight to the music of the early bloomer: Gampel debuted at the Hollywood Bowl at the age of seven, graduated Stanford with honors at 19 and quickly gained international renown. Friday, November 12, UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30-9:30p.m. $15. Info, 656-3085. Sunday November 13. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph. Children's concert, 11 a.m. $1. Evening show, 8p.m., $15. Info, 728-9878.

Discount

"THE HARDWARE STORE FOR ARTISTS...!"

you go, showgirl • Before Striptease, there was Gypsy. T h e musical is 40 years old, but

Musica Femina and C a t a m o u n t Singers November 17 at 7:30 p.m. FREE

L B A N Y

'Because it's there," was George Mallorys now-famous response to the

question of "Why M o u n t Everest?" O n e expedition set out this spring with a different reason: because Mallory was there — locked in frozen slumber since his fatal fall in 1924. The expedition hoped to determine whether Mallory reached the summit before he and partner Sandy Irvine plunged to their deaths. They found Mallorys still-clad corpse, but not his camera. Fortunately, climber and cinematographer T h o m Pollard kept a grip on his as he recorded the historic find. He shares slides and stories of the expedition at an upcoming show. Thursday, November 11. Campus Center Theatre, Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 7p.m. $7. Info, 985-5055.

Conner Dover and Roger Landes Fri., November 26th • 8 p.m. One of the best interpreters of Celtic music today. Veterans of "Prairie Home Companion" and "The Thistle &. Shamrock"

lovett or leave it:

Musician Lyle Lovett has made a career of being strange — and his standard poodle pompadour is just the beginning. Actually, his native Texas was the beginning, which accounts for the strong country influences in his music. But it takes a different kind of good ol' boy to tour Europe backed only by a cello. H e turned heads in Nashville with his insidiously straight cover of- "Stand By Your Man" — a hit with critics but a wonder to others. Moving on to Los Angeles, he added acting to his act and hooked up, briefly, with actress Julia Roberts — galvanizing his image as a unpredictable popster. Lovett keeps area audiences guessing with one sold-out show. Monday, November 15. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8p.m. $32-40. Info, 863-5966.

In association with:

Knights of Columbus Hall 53 Merchants Row, Middlebury

Information: (802) 388-0216 Tickets on sale: Main Street Stationery, Middlebury Inn or by mail.

FLYNN THEATRE, BURLINGTON, VERMONT

to five learn from lighthearted literature, songs and activities at the S. Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. TINY TOT STORY TIME: The three and under crowd hears literature read aloud. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

Thursdoy November 18 • 7pm

Jim DeFilippi

november

reads & signs

DuckAlley

Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

The story is excellentlypaced and imaginatively told, in a series of flashbacks, imaginary scenarios and straightforward narrative sections, all enlivened with vernacular dialogue. DeFiIippi's no vet is as much about emotion as it is about actions, and it delivers a jolt of a surprise ending that entirely fits the plot's milieu. - Publishers Weekly This moving, funny and ultimately tragic story of two kids growing up in the 50's has been praised, not only for it's ingenious plot, but also for the dead-on portrait of childhood that it paints. J i m DeFilippi captures all the aspects of adolescence- the casual cruelty; the peer pressure; and the intense loyalty and vivid imaginations, that w e all remember. J i m left Duck Alley to serve in the U. S. Air Force from '69 to '73. H e has been writing and teaching school for 25 years in Northern Vermont, where he and his wife raised their two children. Duck Alley is Jim's second novel, and he is wellknown for his entertaining readings.

Thursday N o v e m b e r 1 8 * 7 p m

BORDERS*

BOOKS, MUSIC, VIDEO, AND A CAFE.

29 C h u r c h Street • 865-2711 page 2 6

S E V E N DAYS

november 10, 1 9 9 9

music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." LUCKSMITH: The Aussie indie popsters bring a folk-tinged set up from Down Under. North Lounge, Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 656-4399. ORGAN CONCERT: The resident organist at the Mary Queen of the World Cathedral in Montreal performs works by Theobald Boehm, Jan Pieterszoon Sweelinck, Gilles Tremblay and, of course, Bach. St. Michael's College Chapel, Colchester, 8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535.

drama ANYTHING GOES': This musical tale of romance and mistaken identity tap dances its way around an ocean liner pop-

ulated by escaped convicts and frustrated lovers. Royall Tyler Theatre, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $11. Info, 656-2094.

'CINEMANIA' FESTIVAL: "The French experience" is the focus of this 10-day movie marathon. All the films have English subtitles. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts. Info, 514-878-0062. 'SCARFACE': Paul Muni plays the bad guy in this "ultimate gangster film" from Howard Hawks. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The human figure motivates aspiring and accomplished artists in a weekly drawing session at the Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165. OPEN PAINTING: Bring your paintbrush and palette to this creative expres-

sion session. Art Gallery of Barre, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 476-1030. ARTIST TALK: Chinese experimental artist Wenda Gu speaks about his 10-year global project, United Nations, begun in 1993. Loew Auditorium, Hood Art Museum, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 7 p.m. Free. Info, 603-646-1469.

words BEN PASTOR: The Norwich prof reads from Lumen, a murder mysteiy set in German-occupied Poland. Bear Pond Books, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774. POETRY READING: Local literati Mark Pekar and Oscar Xavier read original lines of poetry at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-3144.

kids SONG AND STORYTIME: Threes are company at this singing read-along. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1010:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTIME: Young readers ages three

etc CUBA LECTURE: Margy and Sandy Zabriskie of New England Witness for Peace discuss the social and economic effects of the U.S. embargo against Cuba. Burlington College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9616. 'I CAN SEE YOU NAKED': Conquer the common fear of public speaking with strategies learned from outspoken UVM prof Valerie Chamberlain. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 865-7211. LAW WORKSHOP: Local attorney Sandra Baird conducts a clinic on legal rights and family court. Community Justice Center, Burlington, 2-4 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7155. URBAN FORESTRY VOLUNTEERS: Branch Out Burlington holds its monthly meeting to spruce up the city. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-8245. FLYNN THEATRE EXPANSION FORUM: Community members offer creative suggestions for expanding the downtown arts venue to include an alter-

native performance space. Flynn Gallery, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 652-4533. HEART DISEASE TALK: A local doctor speaks about alternative and traditional treatments for cardiovascular disease. Moon Meadow Market, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9000. WALDORF OPEN HOUSE: Parents get a lesson in the school's experiential learning philosophy from working faculty and staff. Lake Champlain Waldorf School, Shelburne, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2827. FLU SHOT CLINIC: Senior citizens can get immunized against influenza today — and stick the state for the bill. The Pines, 7 Aspen Dr., S. Burlington, 10 a.m. noon. Shelburne Methodist Church, Rt. 7, 1-2 p.m. SEXUAL DEVELOPMENT TALK: Parents learn how to cover the "birds and bees" at a session exploring healthy sexual development in kids and adolescents. Richmond Elementary School, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 864-7467. PHYSICS DEMO: Profs go to great pains — including a bed of nails — to prove to local high school students that physics can be fun. Check out off-the-wall demos in B106, Angell Hall, UVM, Burlington, 4:15 p.m. Free. Info, 656-0059. LAMOILLE COUNTY RIVER ASSESSMENT: Residents of riverside dwellings share concerns and hear preliminary findings of a public report. Stowe Library, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Register, 888-9218.

'FRIENDS OF FREEDOM': Historian Ray Zirblis uses letters and other documents to explore fact and folklore about the Underground Railroad in Vermont. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 388-4964. COLLEGE FUNDING RALLY: Concerned citizens and students get together to encourage politicians to spend more money on state schools. Statehouse, Montpelier, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 635-1232. LAND STEWARDSHIP WORKSHOP: Housing and real estate specialists explore the relationships between consumption ethics, land trusts and social ecology. Institute for Social Ecology, Maple Hill, Plainfield, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 454-8493. A.D.H.D. PARENT SUPPORT NIGHT: Doctors and educators discuss research and medication for kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Austin Auditorium, Fletcher Allen Healthcare, Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 651-7615.

tnufsm music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." STEPHEN FEARING: The folk musician called "Canada's answer to Richard Thompson" performs at T.W. Wood Art Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 229-4668.

SECOND

ENTERTAINMENT

Sponsored by: <SRadi§gpn

Media co-sponsor:

Charge your Tickets By Phone at: 802.864.5741, ext. 12 Purchase online at: www.vso.org >

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SEVEN DAYS

words B U R L I N G T O N WRITERS G R O U P : Bring pencil, paper and the will to be inspired to this writerly gathering at the Daily Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9647. 'TALES O F LAW A N D LAWYERING': Vermont author Peter Langrock talks about the litigious life and his new book, Beyond the Courthouse. Barnes &C Noble, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

kids STORYTIME: See November 10, 10 a.m. &C 1 p.m.

etc F R E N C H CONVERSATION G R O U P : Freshen up your French, with a Quebecois accent, in this informal social cercle at Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. C O M M U N I T Y MEDICAL S C H O O L : Get spine-sawy at a discussion of back pain and treatment. Austin Auditorium, Fletcher Allen Healthcare, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2886. V I C T I M ASSISTANCE TRAINING: Gain awareness and an ability to help victims of community violence. Community Justice Center, 95 St. Paul St., Burlington, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free. Register, 865-7155. FINANCIAL AID W O R K S H O P : College-bound students and parents get valuable advice on making the financial aid grade. Essex Junction Education Center, Mount Mansfield Union High School, Jericho and

PROGRESSIVE PARTY MEETING: The political group's state and county committees convene at the Montpelier City Hall Auditorium, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-9916. BEREAVEMENT S U P P O R T G R O U P : The Visiting Nurses Association cosponsors this open meeting for individuals dealing with the loss of a loved one. Adult Day Center, 25 Prim Rd., Colchester, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4410. OVEREATERS A N O N Y M O U S : Compulsive eaters weigh in on body image issues at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 644-8936. C H R O N I C FATIGUE S U P P O R T G R O U P : Dr. Gordon Ahlers sheds some light on the misunderstood immune system disorder. First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800296-1445. BATTERED W O M E N ' S SUPP O R T GROUP: Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 223-0855.

^M mmm

Wednesday music

• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." _ , ' MUSICA FEMINA: The women's choral group joins musical forces with the Catamount Singers for a concert in the UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040. L U N C H T I M E LECTURE: Music prof and Gershwin guru Wayne Schneider gives an overview of 19thcentury American music. Fleming

B e your o w n Loss.

Free Introductory Night: Learn about Women's Small Business Program, and the Micro Business Development Program, Nov, 17, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington

aik

Media co-sponsors.

art NAPLES PAINTER SLIDE LECTURE: Art prof Pieter Boucke talks about the painters and potters of the early art movement. Twilight Hall, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433.

Are you ready to take the first step?

newattitudes M U S I C

drama ' B U R N I N G BRIDGES': See November 13.

Champlain Valley Union High School, Hinesburg, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-642-3177. HEALING ARTS LECTURE: Get acquainted with the seven basic principles of the ancient Hawaiian Huna philosophy. Dewey Commons Lounge, Johnson State College, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 635-1386. STARGAZING: Weather permitting, an astronomy expert gives a tour of the night sky and the Leonid meteor shower. VINS North Branch, Montpelier, 7-8:30 p.m. $3. Info, 229-6206.

with a Tw'ut

Whetberyou feel moreeomfortable in a bow tie or blue jearu, the Vermont Sympfony -Orchestra bo* ah eveningofoutetanding clcuMtcal miuf ic to suit you. Put on yourfanciest or nukft casual attire and! come to Ncw Attitude** or enjoy Meuftetwork* nwre traditianai concert experience.

p n r X T T l C A l

weekly event, where partners and kilts are both optional. First Congregational Church of Essex Junction, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $2. Info, 879-7618.

november 10, 1999

m vso:, (n . I/////1'('/'('(?/*!/ Sa.uw i,< <pon,<,</•<•,'/V-

Getting Serious; Workshop to help you choose a business idea and explore business ownership. Trinity College, 5:30-8:30 p.m., Nov. 22, 29, Dec. 6, 13, $115 Call for times and to register

Women's Small Business Program Celebrating Ten Years of Entrepreneurial Success. 846-7160 wsbp@charity.trinityvt.edu

Museum, UVM, Burlington, 12:15 p.m. $3. Info, 656-0750. T H E CLERKS G R O U P : The Renaissance music ensemble performs seldom-heard vocal pieces by Josquin Despres and Johannes Ockeghem. Concert Hall, Center for the Arts, Middlebury College, 7:30 p.m. $9. Info, 443-6433. O P E N MIKE N I G H T : Bring your own talent to a performance potluck at the Cambridge Coffeehouse, Smugglers Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 644-2233. DANIEL BRUCE: The Montpelier pianist plays dexterously demanding pieces by Mozart, Beethoven and Chopin. Faulkner Recital Hall, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 603646-2422.

drama 'ROSENCRANTZ AND G U I L D E N S T E R N ARE DEAD': See November 11, $20.

film ' T H E BAND W A G O N ' : In this musical directed by Vincente Minnelli, Fred Astaire stars as a washed-up movie star looking to revive both his love life and his career. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 & 9:15 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

TALK: Poet David Budbill and artist Sam Thurston share insights on the arts of ancient China. T.W. Wood Art Gallery, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8743.

SELF-DISCOVERY, HEALING, TRANSFORMATION

words ELLEN BRYANT VOIGT: The Vermont poet laureate reads from her work. John Dewey Lounge, Old Mill, UVM, Burlington, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4171. BETHANY'S B O O K G R O U P : The monthly roundtable takes on J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Borders, Church Street Marketplace, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. KATHRYN DAVIS: The Calais author leads the way through The Walking Tour, her new suspense novel set in Wales. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. 'LITERATURE O F T H E FAR N O R T H ' : A discussion of Olga Kharitidi s Entering the Circle sheds light on a relatively unknown part of the world. S. Burlington Community Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.

STARGAZING: See November 16. WILLARD STERNE RANDALL: The local historian speaks about General Oliver Howard, who commanded Vermont troops during the Civil War and later founded black universities. Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-2700. EATING D I S O R D E R TALK Counselor Nancy Weber gives advice on how to help a friend with foodrelated problems. UVM Women's Center, Burlington, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 656-7892. ' T H E FEEDER A N D BEYOND': Bird lovers learn how to attract — and identify — feathered friends. Shelburne Farms, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Donations. Register, 985-8686. 'FEEDING W I N T E R BIRDS': Slides and demonstrations show you how to give winter birrrrrds a boost. Green Mountain Audubon Society Nature Center, Huntington, 7:30 p.m. $4. Register, 434-3068. ©

• • •

Intense & Experiential • Join Caring Men Deep Understanding • All Vegetarian Meals Integration & Change V Certified Facilitators , Join us Friday PM-Sunday AM, Thanksgiving Weekend. Cost including meals: $145. A weekend of self-exploration and healing snuggled in the beautiful Taconic Mountains of Vermont Q U E S T I O N S St B R O C H U R E : Call today! Brian Bauer (617) 623-5817 email babauer@ ma.ultranet.com NOVEMBER

26-28 • P A W L E T , V T

E n g l gnd

New

M I I) D L E B U R Y

Review S E R I E S

V O L U M E 2 0 , NO. 4

fentunnqA Conversation with; Arnost I.ustig

fiction interviews

$23 subscriptions; $7 single issue price

Killim; the God in Mexico ftd the Biemuk: A Letter

L£ ^ B E T T E R BOOKSTORES X M O I I A U D NATIONWIDE

Calendar is written by Gwenn

poetry essays performance pieces

To order write to: New England Review Middlebury College Middlebury, VT 05753 or visit our Web site at www.middlebury.edu/-nereview

kids

Garland. Classes are compiled by Lucy Howe. All submissions are

7TH ANNUAL

due in writing on the Thursday

art

STORYTIME: See November 10. PARENT-CHILD B O O K G R O U P : Middle-school kids and their parents consider the characters in S. Cooper's The Dark Is Rising. S. Burlington Community Library, 7 p.m. Free. Register, 652-7080.

VERMONT INTERNATIONAL FESTIVAL

edits for space and style. Send to:

• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See November 10. O P E N PAINTING: See November 10. C H I N E S E ART A N D POETRY

sport

SEVEN DAYS,

NATURE HIKE: Dress warmly for a late autumn twilight trek at the Vermont Leadership Center, E. Charleston, 3:30 p.m. Free. Info, 723-4705.

before publication. SEVEN DAYS

P.O.

Box

A Celebration of Crafts & Cultures

1164,

Enjoy food, dance, crafts & music from around the world

Burlington, VT 05402-1164. Or fax 8 0 2 - 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5.

Email:

Friday, Dec. 3, 5pm - 8 pm Saturday, Dec. 4, 10 am - 6 pm Sunday, Dec. 5, 10 am - 5 pm

sevenday@together.net

MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM Burlington, Vermont • Admission $3 • Info: 802-863-6713

FREE 2-hour parking at designated downtown garages. Presented by H» Vei

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First Congregational Church, Burlington

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by William Shakespeare 7:30 p.m. Thur.-Sat., November 11-13 Fri. & Sat., November 19 & 20

Tickets $18/$9 students Call today for information!

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863-8326

O p e n Seven Days

november 10, 1999

Alumni Auditorium at Champlain College $8 adults $5 students & seniors Call 860-2707 for reservations.

SEVEN DAYS

page 35mr~

GALLERY

paintings with impact 73 Church St. (next to Hoots) Burlington Wed/Fri-Sun 12-5

RISEN FREM THE BEAST A "not so modest

look at the human

form"

a B/W Photo Exhibit at:

Rhombus Gallery

2nd Floor, College & Church Streets, Burlington In November: Open Wednesdays 4 - 7:30 PM, Saturdays 1 0 - 2 PM, Sundays 1 - 6 PM & Friday after Thanksgiving!

THE

Book Available at B O R D E R ' S !

MACHINE

AGE

Marc

Awodeys poetry is really getting around — in

OMPEII

vending machines.

and detergent dispensers, the Burlington

LORAL

STATE

FROG

CRAFT

tributed his works and those of other

Press poets in bite-size booklets around

New

England. This month, Awodeys machines and new paintings are available for reading, and viewing, at UVM's Living/Learning

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WELCOME TO MY HOME, featuring the art of children in Very Special Arts Vermont's "Home in Arts II" program. Red Square, Burlington, 658-6612. Reception November 10, 4 p.m. UNA MARIA TESTA: Photographs, oils, watercolors and drawings. B8 Stonehedge Drive, S. Burlington, 865-4795. Open studio November 13, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. KATHARINE MONTSTREAM ANNUAL ART SHOW & SALE, featuring paintings and cards. Montstream Studio, Union Station, Burlington, 862-8752. November 13 & 14, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

ongoing BUMMMM AREA

SHOW IT'S WE'LL YOU HOW! TIME m TO BUY YOUR OWN 660-0642 HOME! The NeighborWorks® HomeOwnership Center ofVermont is a non-profit organization that provides homebuyer education, down payment assistance and affordable loan products t o eligible buyers.

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www.getahome.org A program of the Burlington Community Land Trust

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SEVEN DAYS

november 10, 1999

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MARC AWODEY, Poetry Machines and Other New Works, Living/Learning Gallery, UVM, Burlington, 656-4200. Through December 8. ONE FOR ED, a mixed-media installation by Tom Shea. One Wall Gallery, Seven Days, Burlington, 864-5684. Through December 10. LAYERS OF TIME, mixed-media photographic images by Donna Hamil Talman, and EARLY MEMORY AS ICON, photographic and found-object art works by Alexandra Bottinelli. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through November. CARAVAN ARTS INVITATIONAL, works in mixed media from seven curators and other invited artists. Borders, Burlington, 660-9060. Through November. TEXTURAL STUDIES, precious metal interpretations by Karen Klinefelter; and FALL/FALL SERIES, new paintings by Linda

weekly

Jones. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through November. STRAIGHT OUTTA JOE'S GARAGE, abstract paintings by Joe Harig. Daily Planet, Burlington, 8634649. Through November. RISEN FROM THE BEAST, blackand-white photos by Ivey, about moments of self-actualization, with poetry by Todd Grooms. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144. Through November. PLAY OF LIGHT, oils and pastel paintings by Joy Huckins-Noss. Isabel's on the Waterfront, Burlington, 229-0832. Through January 3. SERENITY, photographs of Vermont landscapes and people by Monique Laperle. Book Rack, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 6550231. Through November. STRONG HEARTS: Native American Visions and Voices, featuring color and black-and-white photographs by 29 Native American photographers. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through December 19. WHERE THE SEEDS HIDE, paintings ofVermont by Sylvia Haron. Metropolitan Gallery, Burlington City Hall, 865-7166. Through November. THEATER OF THE IMAGINATION: Masquerade of the Soul, a group show from Caravan Arts, featuring masks, costumes, installations, 2-D and 3-D artwork. Rose Street Gallery, Burlington, 660-8460. Through November 13. WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE: Portrait Photographs by more than 25 Vermont photographers, and COLLAPSIBLE CITY, a "city-in-a-suitcase" installation by Stephanie Seibert. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Through December 5.

listings

CAROL NORTON, JOANNE DELANY & CELENE HARGRAVES, paintings. Better Bagel, Tafts Corners, Williston, 864-1557. Through January. POLLY THOMPSON, new paintings. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through November. A GARDEN PARTY, new paintings by Elizabeth Bunsen and her fouryear-old son, Boone Wilson. Alley Cats Arts, Burlington, 865-5079. Through November. ANN LABERGE, artworks including photos taken in Jamaica. Cathedral Church of St. Paul, Burlington, 864-0471. Through November 15. THE MATING HABITS OF LINES: Sketchbooks and Notebooks of Ree Morton, featuring drawings and journals detailing the artistic process, from an early pioneer in installation art who died in 1977. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through January 23. FOUR HONDURAN ARTISTS, featuring the work of Mario Castillo, Virgilio Guardiola, Rolando Lopez Trochez and Xenia Mejia. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through February 13. PURSUING THE LIGHT: Visual Impressions of the Natural World, featuring fine art color photography by Christopher C. Leeper. Working Design Gallery at the Men's Room, Burlington, 8642088. Through November. COVERED BRIDGES AND OTHER THINGS, black-and-white and color photography by Jan Tyler. Isabel's on the Waterfront, Burlington, 865-2522. Through November 14. DAVID GOODRICH, pen and ink drawings ofVermont views. The Book Rack, Winooski, 654-4650. Through December.

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RICK SUTTA, representational oil paintings. Rick Sutta Gallery, Burlington, 860-7506. Ongoing. THE FIRST FIVE YEARS, works in a variety of media by Artspace alumni and instructors. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8657211. Through November. GERRIT GOLLNER, abstract paintings and prints. Farrell Rm., St. Michael's College, Colchester, 654-2487. Through December.

CHAMPLAIN ¥ALLE¥

HOLIDAY ART SHOW AND SALE, works in all media by members of the Northern Vermont Artist Association. Old Red Mill Gallery, Jericho, 899-3225. Through December 28. SUSAN SMEREKA, abstract iconographic paintings in gouache, oils and mixed media. Woody's Restaurant, Middlebury, 7673253. Through December. BRENNAN MICHAELS: Masks. Bulwagga Books and Gallery, Whiting, 623-6242. Through November 20. JOYRIDE, abstracted oil landscape paintings by Jake Geer. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 8773668. Through November 24. 38TH ANNUAL MEMBERS' EXHIBITION, featuring juried works in mixed media. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 7750356. Through November 14. USE IT UP, WEAR IT OUT, MAKE IT DO OR DO WITHOUT: Our Lives in the 1930s and '40s, featuring oral histories, photographs, artifacts and music exploring Addison County life in those decades. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through March 10. NO TWO ALIKE: African-American Improvisational Patchwork, featuring the works of 20 quilters with Southern roots. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through November 20. HORATIO GREEN0UGH: An American Sculptor's Drawings, a retrospective on the life of the early American artist (1805-1852), featuring 15 sculptures, 48 drawings and related materials, from the private collection of George R. Rinhart. Middlebury College Museum of Art, 443-5007. Through December 12. CENTRAL VERMONT DREAM HOUSES, featuring models made from found and salvaged materials by members of the Northeast Regional Correctional Facility art class. Institute for Social Ecology, Plainfield, 4548493. Through November. ABI SPRING, frescos. Vermont Supreme Court, Montpelier, 8283278. Through December 10. NESTS AND EGGS, featuring part of a painting series by Janet Van Fleet. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 229-0522. Through November 27. PASTELS by Barbara "Ara" Banks, and works by other member artists. The Art Gallery of Barre, 476-1030. Through November. TWO PATHS, paintings by Maureen R. Russell and Randy Allen. Also, RECENT WORK, oil paintings and digitally altered photographs by Charles T. Kellman and John Solaperto. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through November 28. RELIGION, MYTH AND FANCY, a

selection from the permanent collection, XW. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through December 24. • ALICE ECKLES, a permanent changing exhibit of selected paintings and prints. The Old School House Common, Marshfield, 4568993. Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing.

NORTHERN ADJUNCT FACULTY SHOW, featuring the works of nine art teachers at the college. Julina Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 635-1310. Through November 26. NOMADIC CONNECTIONS, contemporary paintings by Val B. Hird, paired with 19th- and 20thcentury textiles of Asian and Middle Eastern cultures. Also, in the Hands-On Gallery Space, a Central Asian yurt by Rachel Lehr. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through November 20. CLAY VESSELS: Interpretations of a Vessel Aesthetic, featuring the works of potters Bob Green, Terri Gregory and Nicholas Seidner. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through November 20. 19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS, including landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Ongoing.

ELSEWHERE

MEXICAN MODERN ART, featuring works from the first half of the century. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 514-285-1600. Through February 6. FOR SALE, a public art installation created by the Swiss art alliance relax. Dartmouth College Green, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-2808. Through January 3. TRANSIENCE: Chinese Experimental Art at the End of the 20th Century, featuring works in mixed media by the country's younger generation of artists. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-6462426. Through December 19. STRUCTURE AND SURFACE, contemporary textiles by 29 Japanese artists, designers and manufacturers. Montreal Museum of Decorative Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 514-2851600. Through November 14. HOLLY KING, landscapes of the imagination in black-and-white and color photography. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 514-2851600. Through December 5. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted.

a Cause

B Y MARC AWODEY

he dramatic use of masks originated in ancient Greece, but masks as ceremonial objects are as old as humankind. "Theater of the Imagination, Masquerade of the Soul" is the intriguing and poetic title of an exhibit at the gallery of Burlington's Rose Street Artists' Co-op that often recalls the primordial uses of mask and costume. Caravan Arts curators Donna Constantineau and Tim Waite have gathered works in this motif by a dozen Vermont artists. Included are a variety of installations, costumes, masks and other thematic variations.

traditions of distortion and scale. T h e gray papier-mache visages of "Phoebus" and "Pan" are five feet tall and nearly as wide. Phoebus was a solar deity and his contorted face suggests a wrathful god, while the massive countenance of Pan is only somewhat more mirthful. Jacobson's third contribution is, by comparison, dainty: T h e

on. Webster's works have a puckish unity that is not easily discernible. Mardi Gras has become more than just a New Orleans thing: Even in a sub-zero February in Burlington, Fat Tuesday is Fat Tuesday. Judy Newman constructed a foil mantle of the royal purpure for one such occasion, and it was

It is the transformative power of masks and costumes that make them so appealing, and several of the works here were once employed by genuine revelers. "Raven Costume," by Janis Walrafen, appeared in the Bread and Puppet-inspired "All Species Day" pageant in Montpelier, as one of a troupe of animals created by the artist. Walfren's raven consists of a black, long-beaked mask with goldpainted details attached to elegant, bat-like wings, and a black satin body trimmed in gold cloth borders. It is -4 installed as a free-standing object, like a costume in a museum, with its "wingspan" stretched to its full six-foot length. T h e visual antithesis of "Raven Costume" is Donna Constantineau s "Corn Spirit," a tall wall piece as

Judy Newman's Mardi Gras costume

Each is a grotesquerie of facial expression.

white and somber as Walfren's is black and playful. Its open arms are curled branches under a sheer ivory-colored fabric. Six dried sunflower stalks stand in front of this corn-less spirit, and its cast-plaster face is surrounded by a halo-like wreath of bony twigs. In many cultures white is the color of mourning; indeed, an air of mortal transience is ingrained in Constantineau's combination of dried elements, a hollow mask face and several square yards of whiteness. Three colossal masks by Ellis Jacobson recall Greco-Roman

four-foot comic piece, "La Veja," is painted red. Its faces are composed of bulbous, fanciful geographies of cheek, brow, nostril, chin and eyes. Each is a grotesquerie of facial expression. Sharon Webster s sets of three black knit gloves h u n g from three wire coat hangers are weirdly festive without being either costume or mask. Triangular hangers are h u n g flat in a triangular pattern that echoes the "shoulders" of each hanger. From every finger of each glove dangle surreal objects — tooth brushes, forks, Christmas lights, pencils and so

worn in a Rex parade by none other than Mayor Peter Clavelle. This get-up is on display here, complete with swags of Mardi Gras beads and a faux leopard collar. T h e accompanying crown resembles the headpiece of a pre-Colombian potentate, a high and ridiculous crest outlined in purple, yellow and green. T h e attendant scepter includes gold and purple tinsel and a lavender plume absurdly fit for any jovial king. In "Theater of the Imagination, Masquerade of the Soul" disparate sources of inspiration commingle into a colorful aggregate of themes, textures and artistic approaches not unlike a Mardi Gras parade itself — albeit one in which the revels, and the revelers, are stationary. (Z)

"Theater of the Imagination, Masquerade of the Soul," a group show by Caravan Arts. Rose Street Gallery, Burlington. Through November 13. november 10, 1999

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reminiscent almost of the sequence toward the e n d of Silence of the Lambs where Jodie Foster pursues her psycho t h r o u g h the inky labyrinth of his basement. All comparisons end there, however. T h i n g s quickly begin going downhill, and the m o r e the film unfolds the faster d o w n hill they go. Characters suddenly start d o i n g traditional movie things for n o apparent reason: Washington's superior officer, played by Michael Rooker, BONEHEADS Jolie and Washington try to stop a killer, abruptly turns into D i r t y Harry's but the real crime here is a script that's bad to the bone. superior officer a n d starts harassTHE BONE COLLECTOR** ing h i m , stymying his efforts, questioning his m e t h o d s . H e even, at o n e point, I love those T V ads that a n n o u n c e , " The attempts to place Jolie u n d e r arrest. N o explanaBone Collector joins Silence of the Lambs and tion is ever offered for his m o o d swing. Sevenl" Yeah, it joins t h e m . It joins t h e m o n the list of movies which have been made. It joins t h e m o n the list of movies m a d e a b o u t serial killers. As for the list of really well-made movies about serial killers, well, that's n o t a list this picture is going to get anywhere near. T h e problem, plain a n d simple, is the script. Based o n the 1997 best-seller by Jeffrey Deaver, the film is directed by Phillip (Dead Calm) Noyce and stars Denzel Washington as a quadriplegic former detective and Angelina Jolie as the rookie cop he takes u n d e r his broken wing. W i t h able b a c k u p f r o m Michael Rooker, E d O ' N e i l l a n d Q u e e n Latifah, this is a cast-director c o m b o that h a d all kinds of potential. T h e first third of the film confirms that, too. T h i n g s are every bit as spooky and suspense-packed as one could possibly w a n t t h r o u g h the first act in which it becomes painfully clear a brutal cabbie nutcase is abducting passengers and driving t h e m to their d o o m in a b a n d o n e d locations a r o u n d N e w York City. Early o n Jolie demonstrates a knack for forensic work, so b e d r i d d e n Denzel basically bullies her into acting as his eyes a n d ears a n d h a n d s o n the crime scene. Ail the creepy m u r d e r scene stuff is n e w to her a n d she initially makes an effective proxy for the audience. T h e first few times she tip-toes into some gloomy u n d e r g r o u n d hell-hole where we k n o w the wacko was just seconds before, the vibe is undeniably tense,

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College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Being John Malkcwich* 12:15, 3:30, 6:50, 9:20. Happy, Texas* 12:50, 3:40, 7:20, 9:30. The Insider 12, 3:20, 6:30, 9:40. Three Kings 12,30, 3:50, 7:10, 10. Music of the Heart 12:40, 3:10, 6:40, 9:10. American Beauty 1, 4, 7, 9:50. All shows Sat.-Sun., first matinee not Mon.-Fri.

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By far the worst is yet to come, t h o u g h . I haven't read Deaver's b o o k , b u t s o m e t h i n g tells m e the e n d i n g o n the screen isn't the same ending that m a d e his novel a best-seller. Calling the film's final act d i s a p p o i n t i n g w o u l d be like calling Michael Jackson quirky. Imagine an alternative e n d i n g to Seven in w h i c h the killer turns o u t to be a pizza-delivery boy played by Erckel. It's just an all-out, no-holds-barred festival of ill advisedness. N o t to m e n t i o n that the killer doesn't even collect bones. In closing: W h a t a waste. Both cast a n d crew — a n d audience — deserve better than this sorry, gratuitously grisly Lambs w a n n a b e . ®

- THURSDAY. NOVEMBER 18

North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Drive Me Crazy 12:45, 2:45, 4:45, 6:45, 9. Teaching Mrs. Tingle 5:30, 10. Mumford 12:30, 3, 7:30. Bowfinger 5:15, 9:45. For Love of the Game 12:15, 2:45, 7:15. Thomas Crown Affair 12, 2:15, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Eve shows daily, early matinees Sat.-Sun.

BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4

Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293. Elmo in Grouchland 12:15, 2:10. Pokemon 12, 2, 4, 6, 8. The Bone Collector 1:30, 3:50, 6:45, 9:05. Superstar 4:15, 7, 9. The Bachelor 1:50, 4:10, 7:15, 9:15. Eve shows daily, matinees Sat.-Sun, last show Fri.-Sat. only.

THE SAVOY

Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610. Light It Up* 10:10, 12:20, 2:30, 5, 7:15, 9:45. The Messenger: Joan of Arc* 12, 3:20, 6:30, 9:25. Anywhere But Here* 10, 12:30, 3:30, 6:40, 9:20. Pokemon 10, 11, 12:15, 1:15, 2:30, 3:30, 4:45, 5:45, 7, 9:15. House on Haunted Hill 8, 10. Double Jeopardy 12, 2:15, 4:30, 7, 9:25. Superstar 10, 12:20, 2:35, 4:50, 7:25, 9:55. The Bone Collector 10:10, 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:30. The Bachelor 10, 12:10, 2:25, 4:40, 7:10, 9:45. Morning matinees Fri.-Sun. only.

SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 V

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All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. * Indicates new film.

CINEMA NINE

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Jolie, for her part, starts off suspicious of W a s h i n g t o n a n d tremendously resentful that she's been forced to risk her life o n this u n w a n t ed assignment. A few scenes later, t h o u g h , she's m a k i n g goo-goo eyes at him a n d groping the guy in his hospital bed. In yet a n o t h e r m o n u m e n t to character d e v e l o p m e n t a n d fine screenwriting, the highly trained street cop/ex-model responds to a late-night k n o c k o n her d o o r by repeatedly asking, "Who's there?" W h e n she receives n o reply, she naturally does w h a t any streetwise cop in the m i d d l e of a m u r d e r investigation w o u l d do: She opens her a p a r t m e n t d o o r a n d wanders o u t into the hallway in her pajamas, u n a r m e d . W h a t is this, Don't Look in the Basement? Last

Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. The llluminati 1:30 (Sat.-Sun. only), 6:30, 8:45. Haman 4 (Sat.-Sun. only). C A P I T O L T H E A T R E 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343. P A R A M O U N T T H E A T R E 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621.

Williston Road, S. Burlington, 8634494. Dogma* 1, 3:30, 6:45, 9:20.The Bone Collector 12:30, 3:20, 7, 9:30. Fight Club 6:50, 9:25. Elmo in Grouchland 12:45, 2:40, 4:30. Pokemon 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9:15. Sixth Sense 12:50, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40. Eve shows daily, matinees Sat.-Sun.

S T O W E C I N E M A Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678. M A D R I V E R F L I C K Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200. M A R Q U I S T H E A T E R Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841. W E L D E N THEATER 527-7888.

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1HAMAM (The Steam Bath) Called "a love letter to the quiet joy of finding ones place in the world," this ItalianTurkish co-production tells the story of a man who inherits an Istanbul steam bath, initially intends to sell it, but has second thoughts when he gets to know the people who frequent it. (R) ANYWHERE BUT HERE Wayne (The Joy Luck Club) Wang directs this big-screen version of Mona Simpsons 1986 bestseller. Susan Sarandon and Natalie Portman star as a Wisconsin mother and daughter who start a new life in L.A. (PG-13) THE MESSENGER: THE STORY OF JOAN OF ARC Luc Besson directs this big-screen bio of the tragic heroine in which you'll find Mrs. Besson (Milla Jovovich) playing the tide role and John Malkovich being the King of France. (R) BEING JOHN MALKOVICH Music video director Spike Jonze makes his bigscreen debut with this odd-a-thon about a guy (John Cusack) who discovers a portal that transports him into the brain of the actor John Malkovich. With Cameron Diaz, Catherine Keener and — surprise! — John Malkovich. (R)

shorts

HAPPY, TEXAS A big winner at this year's Sundance, Mark Illsley s offbeat comedy features Steve Zahn and Jeremy Northam as redneck criminals who hide out in Happy — yup, it's a real place — Texas only to be mistaken for two gay guys who put on beauty pageants for kids. (PG-13) DOGMA Clerks director Kevin Smith is stirring up the usual hysteria among the religious right with his new comedy. Ben Affleck and Matt Damon play angels who come to Earth and then try to scam their way back into heaven. Though the filmmaker has already received his first death threat, he should consider himself lucky. Muslim authorities recently condemned playwright Terrence McNally (author of a current show in which Jesus is portrayed as gay) to death. (R) LIGHT IT UP Now here's what American audiences are panting for — a movie that glamorizes high school violence. Pouty, heavily armed teens take a school guard hostage when their favorite teacher is fired. Sara Gilbert, Usher and Judd Nelson star. (R)

new on video

NOTTING HILL**** Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts are teamed for this media-

rating s c a l e :

POKEMON*** Kiss your kids goodbye. You're not likely to see much of them now that the most popular TV show/marketing gimmick in the universe has hit the big screen. At least not until it makes it to home video. (G) THE INSIDER**** A1 Pacino and Russell Crowe star in Michael Mann's fact-based account of compromises that took place behind the scenes at "60 Minutes" when the legendary news magazine was pressured to kill a whistle-blowing tobacco industry piece. Christopher Plummer plays Mike Wallace, who probably wont be lining up for a ticket to this any time soon.(R) THE BACHELOR*** Recent Burlington visitor Renee Zellweger catches Chris O'Donnell's eye in this remake of a 1925 Buster Keaton classic about a young man who has just 24 hours to find a bride if he wants to inherit a fortune. With Brooke Shields and Mariah Carey. (PG-13) THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL** Famke Janssen and Geoffrey Rush star in this update of the campy Vincent Price chestnut about strangers who spend the night in a haunted mansion in exchange for a large sum of money. Which is exactly what it would take to get me anywhere near this. (R) THE FIGHT CLUB*** Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are teamed in the dark new film from Seven director David Fincher. Based on the best-selling novel by Chuck Palahniuk, the picture concerns an underground organization in which men meet to beat the post-modern numbness out of each other. (R) THREE TO TANGO*** Dylan McDermott and Matthew Perry vie for the affections of Neve Campbell in this comedy about mistaken sexual identies. (PG-13) BRINGING OUT THE DEAD**1/2 Based on Joe Connelly's critically acclaimed debut novel, the latest from Martin Scorsese features a script by Paul Schrader and a little teamwork from husband and wife Nicolas Cage and Patricia Arquette as a burned-out Hell's Kitchen ambulance medic and a young woman he meets on the job. John Goodman and Tom Sizemore co-star. (R) MUSIC OF THE HEART***1/2 It's not unusual for director Wes Craven to have a new movie released around Halloween. It is, however, nothing

(R)

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL***** Roberto Benigni's Holocaust comedy took the Grand Jury Prize at this year's Cannes festival. In addition to directing and cowriting, he also stars as an Italian-Jewish father who tries to shield his son from the truth about concentration camps by pretending the whole thing's an elaborate contest with great prizes. (PG-13) INSTINCT*** Anthony Hopkins had no way of knowing a Silence of the Lambs sequel was about to become an option for him, of course. Had he, I doubt the man who breathed life into Hannibal Lecter would have taken on the reminiscent role of a high-IQ killer in this saga about a mysterious anthropologist accused of murder. With Cuba Gooding Jr. Directed by Jon (Phenomenon) Turteltaub. (R)

Making Faces Time once again for our famous facial amalgam in which we fuse portions of two well-known

NR = not reviewed

short of shocking for it to tell the story of little kids learning the violin in East Harlem and star Mervl Streep. (PG) THE BEST MAN*** Writer/director/you know who's cousin Malcolm Lee brings us diis Big CM/-reminiscent story about a group of old friends who reunite on the occasion of a wedding and find they have old issues to resolve. Taye Diggs, Nia Long and Morris Chestnut star.

(R)

THE STORY OF US*** Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer are paired for this romantic comedy about a couple which attempts a trial separation after 15 years of marriage. Rob Reiner directs. Rita Wilson and Paul Reiser co-star. (R) THREE KINGS****172 The buzz is big for this off-beat black dramedy-action from Flirting With Disaster director David O. Russell. George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg and Ice Cube star as American soldiers who do some personal treasure hunting during the Gulf War. (R) RANDOM HEARTS** 1/2 Harrison Ford's a cop. Kristin Scott Thomas is a congresswoman. After their spouses perish in a horrible plane crash, they discover the two had been having an affair. Which, of course, means they have so much in common it's just a matter of time until they're making whoopie, too. Sydney Pollack directs.

(R)

age fairy tale about a regular joe who stumbles into a love affair with a worldfamous actress. Gina McKee and Rhys Ifans co-star. Roger Michell directs. (PG-13) BLACK MASK**1/2 Lethal Weapon 4s Jet Li tops the bill in this Hong Kong karate fest from the folks who brought you the Jean-Claude Van DammeDennis Rodman stink fest Double Team.

SUPERSTAR**172 The latest "Saturday Night Live" sketch to make it to the big screen has Molly Shannon stretching her Catholic schoolgirl spaz bit into a 90-minute saga about an underdog's triumph over geekiness. With Will Ferrell and Mark McKinney. (PG-13) AMERICAN BEAUTY****172 Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening play the heads of a nuclear family in the process of meltdown in the feature debut from from white-hot Broadway director Sam (The Blue Room) Mendes. (R) ELMO IN GROUCHLAND*** The frizzy red one makes his big-screen debut alongside the more experienced Mandy Patinkin, who co-stars as a mean junkyard owner who tosses a beloved blankie into Oscar the Grouch's trash can. (G) DOUBLE JEOPARDY**172 Ashley Judd and Tommy Lee Jones are teamed for the saga of a woman who's wrongly

imprisoned for murdering her husband, and rightly miffed when she learns he's actually alive and living with anodier woman. When she gets out, she figures diat, as long as she can't be tried for the same crime twice, she might as well commit it once. So she packs some heat and pays him a visit. (R) DRIVE ME CRAZY**172 Sensing it might be difficult to sell the public on yet another Gen-X Pygmalion update in which a dowdy teen is transformed into a prom queen, the makers of this innovative tour de force transform a dowdy dude instead. Starring TV's ' Sabrina herself, Melissa Joan Hark (PG-13) TEACHING MRS. TINGLE**172 Screenwriter Kevin Williamson (Scream) makes his debut behind the camera with this dark teen comedy about high school kids who take their teacher hostage in order to avoid getting a bad grade from her. Katie Holmes and Helen Mirren star. (PG13) MUMFORD***172 Being There meets The Big Chill in the latest ensemble piece from Lawrence Kasdan, a contemporary fable about a mysterious psychologist who magically cures everyone he meets. The cast includes Loren Dean, Alfe Woodard, Ted Danson and Martin Short. (R) BOWFINGER*** Among the most eagerly awaited comedies of the summer is the latest from star-writer Steve Martin, the story of a sad-sack movie producer who tries to get a major star in his picture by stalking and shooting around him. Eddie Murphy and Heather Graham co-star. Frank Oz directs. (PG-13) FOR LOVE OF THE GAME***172 Kevin Costner has had precious few hits since the last time he held a baseball bat. So, in what many consider the bottom of the ninth of his career, the actor steps back up to the plate for his third baseball film, the story of an all-star pitcher on his way down. With Kelly Preston. (PG-13) THE THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR*** If Entrapment left you wanting more (now there's a comical thought), here's another romantic saga about a debonair an thief with a sultry insurance agent on his trail. Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo star in John McTiernan's remake of the 1968 Steve McQueen favorite. (R)

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N o t to worry. T h e other poll result Jeffords' media pals played down was the trouncing Democrat Ed Flanagan gives Republican Jim Douglas in a head-to-head match-up to fill Bernie's seat. Fast Eddie crunched Gentle James, the Vermont G O P ' s perennial hood ornament, 37-22. We've heard some Vermont lefties suggest the current Vermont congressional line-up is pretty decent. They truly fear losing Bernie. But what if he knocked Jeffords off, as many think he could? A Leahy-Sanders-Flanagan delegation would be quite the interesting team. And unlike today, Vermont's trio would all be on the same page in the play book, too. H o m e Rule Ahead? — Get ready, folks. If you're wondering what will be the next big public policy battle on the Vermont political stage, we think we've found a likely candidate. Burlington Mayor Peter Clavelle recently received a new title — "president," as in president of the board of the Vermont League of Cities and Towns. T h e V L C T looks out for the interests of that other government in the Green Mountains — local government. And President Pete advises Seven Days to get ready for a revival of the battle for local control. T h e goal is to wean local government from the regressive property tax. It's been 10 years since the H o m e Rule fight was front-page news in Vermont, and Clavelle and the V L C T are arming themselves for the coming season under Montpelier's golden dome. Simply put, Clavelle wants Vermont's cities and towns to be able to amend their charters without seeking Montpeculiar's blessing. First and foremost, he said, that means the right to local option taxes, particularly regional option taxes like a countywide sales tax or gas tax. Manchester's one-cent sales tax, he said, serves as a breach in the state's dam. Presently, said Mayor

Proggy, "local control is largely a myth." T h e way things have been going in Vermont, he said, "local government has become increasingly irrelevant as state government becomes highly centralized." We couldn't help but remark that the Queen City Progressive was sounding an awful lot like the conservative Republican from Thetford, Ruth Dwyer. "Local control," he answered with a smile, "is the place where the left meets the right." Hey, this sounds like a hell of a party. " H o m e Rule" — the issue for the 21st century! P.S. Clavelle's assistant, Bill Mitchell, has returned from a one-month urban affairs fellowship in Germany, where he traveled with fellow mayoral staffers from Bridgeport, Connecticut, Scottsdale, Arizona, and Waco, Texas. He's got great stories to tell. But Bill just had to ask his colleague from Waco if he'd ever heard of the Branch Davidians before the big federal siege. H e hadn't. Interesting, huh? "60 Minutes" in Vermont — Thursday morning at 10, former "60 Minutes" producer Lowell Bergman will be Jeff Kaufman's guest on Middlebury's W F A D at 1490 on the A M dial. Bergman produced the controversial "60 Minutes" piece on Big Tobacco that's the subject of the current hit movie, The Insider. Al Pacino plays Bergman. Getting Closer All the T i m e — Former Gutterson great Martin St. Louis will be lacing up the skates in Philadelphia Friday night, but that more famous exCatamount, J o h n LeClair, won't be on the ice with him. That's because St. Loooie's team will be playing the Philadelphia Phantoms of the American Hockey League, not the Philadelphia Flyers of the National Hockey League. At 24, UVM's former pint-sized Pocket Rocket is on the verge of breaking though into the N H L . He scored a hat trick against the Syracuse Crunch Saturday night, and he's the top scorer on New Brunswick's St. John Flames, Calgary's top farm club. St. Loooie is also the top scorer in the AHL, with 13 goals and eight assists in just 14 games. Yes! Mazeltov! — More national media attention hit the birthplace of Ted Bundy this week as T h e People's Republic of Burlington was crawling with "Access Hollywood"-types digging into the past of the future Mrs. Jerry Seinfeld. O n Monday the 45-year-old sitcom legend confirmed his engagement to Burlington-bred Jessica Sklar, a graduate of BHS and U V M . Jerry and Jessica reportedly met at Manhattan's tony Reebok Sports Center just after she returned from her Italian honeymoon with husband Eric Nederlander, a Broadway scion. Maybe Jerry will buy Henrys Diner? W h y not? Q)

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should admit that I've never been a huge fan of the weekend breakfast ritual that goes down in Montreal's more trendy diners. True, I'm often hung over and incapable of holding down my food to begin with, but an egg is an egg is an egg, I say. And, for my money, I'd rather cook the crap up at home and save a few bucks than go out and wait in line with a bunch of badbreathed geeks for the privilege of securing a booth at some overrated yuppie palace with an annoyingly cute name like Eggspectations. Besides, most mornings, eating breakfast is something I prefer to do in private. T h e last thing I want to see when I wake up in the morning is some obnoxious, loud-mouthed McGill student with egg on her chin, puffing on a DuMaurier Light and marveling to all the world about how Ecstasy is to her generation what television was to the children of the '60s. As Marshall McLuhan used to say, people always look uglier in the morning — and even uglier with a mouthful of poached egg and toast. My idea of a good breakfast joint is one that piles on the food and doesn't demand that you take out a bank loan to pay for it. If I'm going to have to go out and look at people first thing in the morning just to get my first square meal of the day, then it sure as hell

1 1

better be cheap. Fortunately, Montreal, besides being the land of the 49cent pizza slice, is also the land of the bargain breakfast. Forget those overpriced joints on Monkland Avenue; here are a few recommendations on where to go for a nice, greasy $4 breakfast.

Place Milton 220 Milton, 514-285-0011 Place Milton has become the place for early-morning eating among students and last night's E-drained ravers. Just up the street from McGill University, its biggest selling point is that it is really cheap — about $3 for a complete breakfast — and that it has a private, clean, comfortable, individual rest room. T h a t may not seem like a big thing to you but, personally, after I've digested a plate of scrambled eggs and a couple dozen cups of coffee, I'm

Five bucks gets you a full brea fast with 1 slices of bacon. Count 'em: 10! And Canadian bacon to boot!

ready to go, and I don't want an audience. N o t h i n g like walking back into the restaurant to see a bunch of guys pointing me out to their girlfriends, holding their noses and sharing a good belly laugh at my expense. Call it perverse, but I like to keep a quiet dignity about my person. Anyway, Place Milton hops in a big way, so to keep up with demand they recently more than doubled in size. Nevertheless, arrive around noon and you can still expect to wait outside in line for at least 20 minutes. All in all, though, the food ain't bad, and not all the people are hard to look at. T h e owner claims it's his h o m e fries that have made Place Milton famous. I guess so. I'm partial to the crepes. O h , yeah, and even with the new renovations Place Milton still feels like a greasy spoon, so don't worry about a dress code.

Dusty's 4520B Park Avenue, 514276-8525 Rumored to be named after a donkey, Dusty's attracts an uglier group of people than Place Milton, but tries to make up for it by hiring lots of sluttylooking waitresses — so they get a thumbs-up in my book. A classic diner, Dusty's has been serving up breakfast in the same location for about 900 years, and has become something of an institution in the Mile End district. As greasy spoons go,

the prices aren't cheap, but I have Friends w h o swear their h o m e fries are to die for. I guess so, but I tend to lean towards their cinnamony French toast. It's another enormously popular place, so expect to wait in line for a while. Bonus: Although the W C is not very private nor particularly inviting, Dusty's happens to be a stone's throw from McDonald's — and everybody knows there's no better place to poop than under the Golden Arches.

Pine's Pizza 4520 Park Ave, 514-277-3178 Right next door to Dusty's is Pine's Pizza. Don't let the name fool you, these cretins can cook up a damn fine omelet at a damn fine price. T h e restaurant got majorly stiffed last year when the Health Board laid charges against previous owners for some very unpleasant health infractions. Only thing is, by the time Pine's Pizza was found guilty and the case reported in the local media, the joint had already changed hands, so new proprietor Moiynul Haque was left with one stinky reputation. T h e result: If you get sick of waiting in line for a booth at Dusty's, you can always find a seat at Pine's. And the food is pretty good. T h e breakfast special is a little cheaper than Dusty's, and Haque (pronounced hock) wants everyone to know that his breakfast is "very clean." And guess what. Their hook is, believe it or not, patented "God-like" potatoes. How about that. Apparently they contain a "secret" ingredient known only to the chef. H m m m .

cow! An aromatic old diner that used to be frequented almost exclusively by taxi drivers, it started to get really popular in the mid-'80s after the local media picked up on how "cute" and "authentic" it was. Unless you go in the warmer months, when old man Cosmos Sets up a makeshift terrace in front of his place, you may find yourself waiting in line for a while. Cosmos Coffee Bar only has about 15 seats — and these are all at the counter, so you don't really have to look at anybody while you eat — another bonus. And — surprise, surprise — Cosmos says it's his home fries that really set him apart from the rest of the pack. I guess so. Best of all, Cosmos has an individual rest room way down in the basement that nobody seems to know about. You can relax and take all the time you want down there without anybody bothering you.

Cosmos Coffee Bar 5843 Sherbrooke W, 514-4863814 Cosmos rocks so hard it is almost too much to bear. Located in the city's west end, it's got the cheapest and heartiest breakfast going. You can go for the regular $3 special but, at Cosmos, five bucks gets you a full breakfast with 10 slices of bacon. C o u n t 'em: 10! And Canadian bacon to boot! Holy

Nickels 1384 Ste. Catherine W Say what you will about her horrible records, but that Celine Dion really knows how to cook up an omelet. And cook 'em up she does, at Nickels, her chain of 1950s-style diners. Not quite as greasy as its counterparts in the land of the cheapo breakfast, nor as upscale as some of its other competitors, Nickels is anything but trendy. T h e walls are plastered with the same old faded, poorly reproduced James Dean, Marilyn and Elvis photos that seem to adorn all these tacky retro places, and the waitresses are forced to wear very special pink poodle skirts — minus the poodle — such as Celine herself wouldn't be caught dead in. Their morning menu, however, is really cheap and really good. True, it's not the hippest place to take a date for breakfast, but who cares? We're talking Celine Dion, goddamnit! A Canadian hero! Tip: Ask for one scrambled egg, they'll bring you two anyway, but you'll save yourself one big, fat Canadian dollar — or about seven cents in U.S. funds. Excellent crappers, too! ®

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Interview with Nathalie, A Nickels Waitress Chris Barry: So, that's a pretty interesting uniform they've got you wearing. Do you ever wear it when you're not working? Nathalie: No. CB: Isn't it modeled after the same dress Celine wore to the 1997 Grammy's? Nathalie: I don't think so. CB: Is Celine a good boss? Nathalie: I guess so. She doesn't really come around here, you know. CB: Have you ever met her? Nathalie: Not really. CB: Does she ever come by to get down and dirty with the kitchen staff? You know, to fry up an egg with some of the little people who've helped made Nickels the success that it is? Natalie: What do you think? I have to go and serve another customer now. Do you want more coffee? CB: Yes, please.

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even so mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to republication, in any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal.

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We are currently seeking a self-motivated, customeroriented, professional to perform the support functions generated from our customer service call center. This individual will also respond to inquiries via telephone from our retail store personnel. The successful candidate will be detail-oriented, computer literate, and have superior oral and written communication skills. An administrative or customer service background required. We offer a great working environment, competitive pay, and a great benefit package.

Northland Job Corps Center is a residential vocational training program serving youth aged 16-24 throughout New England. As a member of Northlands' staff you would be helping disadvantaged young people break the cycle of poverty by preparing them for gainful, entry-level employment.

Responsible for the recreational/avocational activities of students. High School grad or equivalent with college coursework in Recreational or Human Services preferred. $8.50/hr+

Recreational Specialist:

Residential Advisor: Full-time and substitute positions supervising students in dormitories during leisure time hours. Must have diploma/GED and the commitment to making positive and dramatic changes in the lives of youth. $8.50/hr+ Security Officer: Responsible for enforcing all laws, rules, and policies authorized by the Security Department. Diploma/GED required, experience working with youth preferred. So, if you want to play a role in changing the lives of America's youth, drop in, call, or write to: Lisa O'Brien, Human Resources Northland Job Corps Center I00A MacDonough Drive Vergennes.VT 05491 (800) 869-2901, ext 209 Northland Job Corps/Career Systems Development Corporation is an Equal Opportunity Employer

Full & Part-time Customer Service/Sales Associates Due to recent promotions, we are continuing to grow and are seeking dynamic, customer-oriented, sales and customer service professionals with excellent communication skills. These individuals will sell our equipment and services through educating prospective customers to the benefits of CellularOne. They will also provide current customers with a high level of service to ensure customer satisfaction. The successful candidates will be detail-oriented, computer literate, and have superior oral and written skills. A background in customer service and sales is required. We offer a great working environment, competitive pay, and a great benefit package for full-time employees. Please mail, fax or email resume with cover letter and salary requirements/history to: Human Resources 1100 Mountain View Drive Colchester, VT 05446 Fax (802) 654-5148 Jsimonelli@rccatlantic.com Equal Opportunity Employer

Burlington's Leading Natural Market is seeking a.

Northeastern Family Institute

Northeastern Family Institute, an expanding statewide provider of mental health treatment services for children, adolescents and families, is looking for candidates to join our dynamic clinical team. RESIDENTIAL COUNSELORS: Needed to work with two interesting, energetic teenage girls. Come be part of a dynamic team working in a small, innovative staffed home. Positions include full-time & part-time, some evenings and weekends. Experience working with children with emotional and behavioral challenges desired. Contact Pat Hamilton at (802) 878-7678.

MERCHANDISE MANAGER for our newly created position to oversee promotion of products and supervise the department buyers. This pivotal role requires excellent communication skills, supervisory experience, a retail purchasing and merchandising background, and an extensive knowledge of natural foods. Onion River offers medical and dental insurance, IRA, paid vacations and holidays, great store discounts! Please send resume, cover letter to:

OUT OF SCHOOL? UNEMPLOYED?

is the answer. Receive FREE hands-on vocational training, GEO, Driver's Ed, $$$. Must be 16-24. Call 1-800-97-BEGIN www.nejobcorps.org

ACWIC Sexual Violence Victim Advocate FT direct service team member. Experience with sexual violence issues essential. Crisis intervention & supportive counseling experience required. Bachelor's dgree in related field or equivalent exp.r srong organizational & communication skills, reliable car required. Ltr of interest & qualifications to Exec. Dir., ACWIC, P.O. Box 67, Middlebury, VT 05753. Review of Applications will begin on Nov. 15.

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED % HEALTHY MALES Ages 18-45 needed for

STUDY ON THE EFFECTS OF COMMONLY USED MEDICATIONS. Must be available weekdays during working hours.

MONETARY COMPENSATION O F $790 OR MORE. Conducted at U V M Call 656-9620

Bus Drivers Needed!

CCTA, Vermont's largest public transportation agency, wants YOU to join their team. CCTA offers a complete benefits package, which includes: • Competitive salary - more than $19,000 a year to start! • Full health, dental and vision coverage • 2 weeks paid vacation and 11 paid holidays • Free CDL training and uniforms Apply now and you'll be making $20,600 a year by January - more than $29,000 by January 2001! Join CCTA today! Call 864-CCTA or stop by 15 Industrial Parkway for an application.

Ask about our signing bonus!

CHITTENDEN COUNTY TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY

Supplement Buyer Knowledge of Vitamins, Herbs,

Onion River Coop, Attn: HR Department 274 N. Winooski Avenue, Burlington 05401. EOE.

JOB CORPS

$200 Shopping Spree

ORVIS

Work for Orvis and S h o p for Free! T h e Holidays are fast approaching & Orvis wants to help you with your wish list. Orvis is opening a seasonal w o m e n ' s outlet in the Essex Outlet Fair as early as next week. We need several of the friendliest Sales Associates to provide the exceptional customer service Orvis is f a m o u s for. Experience is not necessary. O n g o i n g training is available. Weekends and days surrounding u p c o m ing holidays are crucial, but scheduling is flexible. We have m a n y part-time and on-call positions. Store hours will be f r o m 8:30 am to 8:00 pm, with m a n y shifts to fill. A f t e r only 30 days of service, pick out your presents! Orvis picks up $ 2 0 0 of your bill! Finally, a great reward for your hard work. Call today to schedule an interview and learn m o r e details about our shopping spree!

Contact: Jean Dysinger, Orvis Store Manager Local: (802) 338-9135 or Leave a message at: (802) 362-8597

Homeopathy anad Nutrition needed. M u s t have experience with purchasing, budgeting, and merchandising. Interested applicants please call.

FOOD FOR THOUGH NATURAL MARKET ROUTE TOO • LOWER VILLAGE • STOWE

253-4733

adventuroustraveler&com Smart, outdoorsy travelers wanted!

AdventurousTraveler.com, a rapidly growing internet-based business in Burlington, believes that work should be fun and energizing. We offer continual learning and competitive compensation. Burning desire to be part of the internet revolution required. Digital Publishing Content Editor Content developer for new Digital Publishing program. Experience req: editor role(s) in books, mag., or database media with some exposure to v eb publishing, software and issues. Managing Editor/Trafficker Resp. for the general publ. schedules for new Digital Publishing program. Exp. req: editing, production environment responsibilities. DBA- Database Administrator Req. knowledge of Microsoft SQL server, Access, Foxpro on NOVELL, logical and physical design of databases. Website Content Editor Managing layout, flow and content of atcom website. Extensive background in site design including structure, flow and editing features. Affiliate Manager Create and maintain relationships with national outdoor and travel companies that complement our products. Assistant Warehouse Manager Req. supervisory experience, strong computer skills. Copywriter Compose weekly email newsletter and features on website. Purchasing Assistant req. data and query skills, organization. Data Entry req. exc. typing, filing, and attention to detail. Warehouse fulfillment PTandFT. picking and packing orders. Customer Service PT and FT. extensive phone work/data entry,some writing skills. send resumes to: attn: Alex Messinger, 245 S. Champlain St. Burlington, VT 05401 resume@adventuroustraveler.com

SEVEN'-DAYS

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Experienced. Part-time. Flexible hours. Fill-in & re-set m e r -

G o o d g o d , N i c k . . . y o u l o o k like hell. Did y o u get in a f i g h t or s o m e t h i n g ?

C o u p l e ' a p u n k s j u m p e d m e o v e r in t h e park. We went a r o u n d pretty g o o d for a w h i l e , 'til I s t a r t e d t h r o w i n g u p b l o o d .

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Experienced Waitstaff For

busy

Japanese restaurant FT or Flexible

PT Shifts

Apply in person to: KOTO JAPANESE RESTAURANT HIBACHI & SUSHI

792 Shelburne Road So. Burlington, VT

P E R R Y

R E S T A U R A N T G R O U P

S A L E S R E P S Business-to-Business marketing via phone. Exc. salary & commission. Exc. c o m m u n i c a t i o n skills & flexible hours a must. Call 879-7000

We're looking for people to work flexible hours during the holiday season at our Gift Certificate Booth at University Mall. N o experience needed! (Must be at least 18 years of age). Hours available between 9:00 a.m.—10:00 p.m. And, any amount of hours entitles you to a 25% Meal Discount with the Perry Restaurant Group — Sirloin Saloon, Perry's Fish House & Sweetwaters! Call to see what it's all about today!

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EMPLOYMENT

BAKER NEEDED: full-time. Creative, self-motivated, committed. Apply in person at Stone Soup, 211 College St., Burl. See Avery or Tim.

ELECTRICIAN OR TRAINEE: Journeyman or master ($16/hr.) or will train if ambitious ($10/hr.) Benefit package. Vehicle & V.D.L. required. 899-1142.

LIVE-IN CAREGIVER(S) FOR 2 elderly women w/ disabilities. Provide personal care w/ gentleness & diligence. Live in adjoining 2-bdrm. apt. Tax-free pay, respite, training. Letter to: Home Base Inc., 67 Greene St., Burlington, VT 05401

CLEANING PERSON WANTED: part-time. Must know what a mop, broom & vacuum are and do! Apply in person w/ sense of humor to VT Pub & Brewery, corner of St. Paul St. & College St.

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HOSPITALITY

T h a t c o u l d be s e r i o u s . W e ' d

GROUP

• Night A u d i t o r : P / T , 1 1 p . m . t o 7 a . m . ( 2 shifts, a n y nights), m u s t b e g o o d w / n u m b e r s a n d enjoy dealing w / public. • Maintenance Technician: F/T, y e a r - r o u n d , 3 d a y & 2 e v e . shifts, g e n e r a l m a i n t e n a n c e skills n e e d e d . B e n e f i t s & g o o d w a g e s p a i d . • Kitchen Jobs: F / T & P/T, d i s h w a s h e r s & p r e p c o o k s n e e d e d , a . m . & p . m . shifts avail.

Best-western Hotel 1076 WLllistcn Rd. So. Burlington, VT 05403

CONSULTANTS/MANAGERS wanted for National Candle Party Plan. Earn extra income with the freedon to set your own schedule. Come to our Opportunity Event on Nov. 15th, 7 p.m. at the Holiday Inn on Williston Road. Call 802-864-5628. CREATIVE SELF-STARTERS wanted for production help in Winooski T-shirt co. Ideal for students & others. Parttime. Call 654-7445. DISHWASHER WANTED: full- & part-time available. Apply in person to VT Pub & Brewery, corner of College St. & St. Paul St.

ENTERTAINERS; One of VT's finest entertainment services seeking lingerie models & dancers. No exp. necessary, will train. To apply, call Nicole, 863-9510, 7-11 p.m.

NATURAL FOOD STORE seeking full-time cafe position and part-time cashier. Apply at Healthy Living, or call 863-2569. Ask for Mike or Kelly.

ENTRY-LEVEL STAFF POSITIONS available: Be a positive role model to youth while helping them develop effective skills. Part-time, flexible sched., vehicle required. We will train the right people. Send resume to TSYF, 1 Mill St., Box B-12, Burlington, VT 05401.

RECEPTIONIST: part-time, Tues.-fri., 3:30-8 p.m. Looking for motivated individual (M or F) to join our busy salon. Ongoing education & benefits. Stop by FreStyle & Co., 113 College St. Or call 651-8820.

LINE COOKS WANTED for high-volume, quality-conscious environment, Apply in person to VT Pub & Brewery, corner College St. & St. Paul St.

SECRETARY: PART-TIME, to work for small real estate firm, 2-3 days/wk. Imperative to know a number of computer programs. Call 864-7537. $800 WEEKLY POTENTIAL processing government refunds at home! No experience necessary. 1-800-6964779 ext. 1394.

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Seeking enthusiastic people to join our

quality s t a f f as we get ready f o r t h e holidays! W e have openings for:

DAY H O S T / H O S T E S S Flexible schedule! Great Earning Potential! W i l l train. Apply in person

lAy@WAYlAY.COM S o LlTlGATloN B E C A M E THE W E A P O N HE U S E P A G A I N S T HIS E N E M I E S .

On the Marketplace 120 Church Street Burlington EOE

Committee on Temporary Shelter has the following job openings: Family Services Manager: Coordinate soaal services programs for homeless families, provide clinical and professional supervision to case managers and shelter staff. Excellent communication and crisis management skills necessary. MSW and 3-5 years experience preferred. Substitute Shelter Staff: responsible for ensuring a calm and safe environment. Excellent communication and crisis management skills required.

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Resumes accepted until positions filled. Send to LuAnn Chiola, COTS, PO Box 1616, Burlington, VT 05402

E V E R Y ONE o F THEM R E S E M - B PoSTURE, ARROGANCE, A B L E P HIS HIGH SCH00L SULLY | C E R T A I N G L I N T IN THE EYE IN S O M E WAY.

HE'P N E V E R R E A L l Z E P B E F O R E H o w H A N P S o M E THE G u y HAP BEEN.

0Classifieds • 864.5684 BUSINESS OPP. BUSINESS OPP. ANNOUNCEMENTS DRAPERY & WINDOW OWN A COMPUTER? Put it to Work! $25-$75/hr. PT/FT 1-888-625-8851 www.work-fromhome.net/coach

S H A D E business seeks partner. Our custom work includes a full line of decorating accessories. Well established in greaterBurlington area. Can be home-based. 862-2032.

E N T R E P R E N E U R S ! Start your own business. High-tech product that everyone needs. No competition, low start-up costs. Will train, Crisp Air, 802-244-8344.

BUSINESS OPP. BURLINGTON RESIDENTS! If you have Internet access, you can help me with my Internet business and make excellent money! A friendly and reliable sales person type is needed. Toll free, 877-244-0548. AroundBurlingtonVT.com.

GREEN MT. INSTITUTE OF Oriental Medicine now accepting applications for Spring semester starting 1/2000. Programs include acupuncture & Oriental medicine, Oriental bodywork therapy, Chinese massage & auricular therapy. For more info, call 295-6629.

RESEARCH STUDY

COMMERCIAL KITCHEN for lease in very popular bar & grill on Church St. Fully equipped turn-key operation. Service our clientele and create your own business through catering, etc. Call 859-8909, or inquire at Red Square.

UVM R E S E A R C H STUDY: Marijuana users and nonusers, 18+, needed for 1.5-2 hrs. for a research study on memory, thinking & attention. $10 compensation. Call 656-9570, M-F, 12-3 p.m.

ANNOUNCEMENTS YOUR CLASSIFIED AD printed in more than 100 alternative papers like this one for just $950! To run your ad in papers withs a total circulation exceeding 6.5 million copies per week, call Glenn at Seven Days, 802-8645684.

WINTER TIRES FROM

VOL1

NASTY GIRLS!!!

WANT TO GET NASTY WITH YOU C Q 0

For optimum handling in winter weather, Volvo offers Gislaved Nord Frost-2 Winter tires. Designed with wider blocks and grooves, and more resilient than all-season tires, the Nord Frost-2 tires help maintain performance on ice and Snow. For optimum performance, Volvo strongly recommends installing four winter tires.

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DECIPHERING ALPHABET OF ENGINE OIL CODES Dear Tom and Ray\ Remember in the 1950s, a quart of oil would have API designations like MS, DG, etc? Now I see letters like SJ, SH and SG. Do these letters mean different breakdown temperatures or different additives or what? —Bob RAY: Yes. The letters refer to a set of voluntary standards administered by the American Petroleum Institute (API). They cover various oil properties — lubricity, breakdown temperature, particle suspension, etc. T O M : Every so often, the API — in consultation with the oil

starting at $93°° ea.

Genuine Volvo Premounts* starting at $160°° ea.

* (A Gilslaved Nord Frost-2 tire and a genuine Volvo Steel Wheel, mounted and balanced ready to put on your car)

We also have special winter pricing on genuine Volvo Steel Wheels, Hubcap Sets, and we can also stud your winter tires. Call us for details.

ALMARTIN

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SATURN SW2 WAGON, '94: auto, a/c, power steering/ brakes, am/fm cassette, traction Ctrl., 4 Hakkapellitta snows, 77K mi. Orig. owner. Gd. cond. $6,300. 879-0580.

H O M E S FROM $5,000. Foreclosed and repossessed. No or low down payment. Credit trouble OK. For current listings call 1-800-3115048 ext. 3478.

VOLVO 242 TURBO, '81: 91K mi., 2-dr., 4-spd. w/ overdrive, sun roof, CD, recent tune-up, some rust. $2,300. 802-948-2106.

APTTHOUSE FOR RENT

B U R L I N G T O N to ESSEX: I am a UVM student looking for a ride to Essex on Sats. I work 8-Noon, and need a ride both ways. Please call even if you can take only one way. (3214) CHARLOTTE to MONTPELIER: I'm hoping to share driving with someone to help cut down on travel costs. My hours are 8-4:30, M-F. (3208) BURLINGTON to RANDOLPH: I'm temporarily seeking a ride while my car is being repaired. My hours are 8:155, MWF. (3211)

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REAL ESTATE

BUY CARS! FROM $500. Upcoming seizure/surplus sales. Sport, luxury & economy cars. For current listings call 800-311-5048 xl738.

ALMAR NAUGHTY LOCAL GIRLS

AUTOMOTIVE

V O L V O

RAY MAGLIOZZI

industry and car makers — raises the standards. And when they do that, they assign the new standards a new set of letters. RAY: For gasoline engines, the first letter is always "S." T O M : Wait a minute. Why is it "S" for "gas"? Wouldn't it make more sense to use "G" for "gas"? Am I missing something here? RAY: That's a closely held trade secret. Anyway, the second letter goes down the alphabet as the standards get more current. So "SA" was the first standard. Now, the current standard, introduced in 1996, is "SJ." T O M : And for diesel engines, the designations probably all start with "Q," right? RAY: No, "C." T O M : Ah! Remind me to discuss the sorry state of the American educational system with you someday.

Dear Tom and Ray: My mother had the power door lock solenoids burn up while she was in her 1989 Toyota Camry. She had to

BRISTOL to ESSEX JCT.: My car is very unreliable, so I'm hoping to start riding with someone else who works in Essex Jet. My hours are M-F, 8-5. (3131) B U R L I N G T O N to WILLISTON/ BLAIR PARK: I'm looking for a ride one way to work. I work at 10 a.m., M-F. (3205) C H A M P L A I N COLLEGE to SHELB U R N E RD.: I'm looking for a ride during winter months. I work 8-2, T&TH. Please call even if you can only take me one way. (3200) VERGENNES to BARRE: I am looking to share driving on my commute. Willing to meet anywhere along the way—Williston, Monkton, etc. Hours are 4 p.m. to 1 a.m., M-F. (3172) WILLISTON to VERGENNES: I am looking to share a ride 2 days a week. I work M, 9-4 and W, 9-7. (3194)

B U R L I N G T O N to S H E L B U R N E : I am looking to share driving to and from Shelburne. I need to be in Shelburne by 8:30 a.m. and would like to return around 3 p.m., but the afternoon is flexible. (3193) MILTON to BURLINGTON: I'm looking for a ride to the Williston Rd. area. Work schedule is a bit irregular— M 9-5, W 16, F 1-5 & Sa 114. Please respond even if 1 or 2 days would work with your schedule. (3192) SO. B U R L I N G T O N to WINOOSKI: I'm looking for a ride tc the Champlain Mill My hrs. are 8-2:30, M-F. (3171) ESSEX JCT. to SO. BURL.: Looking for a ride either way. I work 10 a.m. to 1 p.m., M-F. (3168) MORRISVILLE to BURLINGTON: I am looking to share driving on my daily commute. I work M-F, 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. (3162)

Vermont JPnl^V

8 5 E x e c u t i v e Drive, S h e l b u r n e , VT 1 -800-639-5088 802-985-1030

RAY: "CH-4" is the current diesel standard, having been introduced in 1998. T O M : The other question we get about these letters is: "Can I use an oil with an outdated standard in my car today?" RAY: The question usually starts out: "I just found a bunch of 'SF' on sale for 13 cents a quart (or I just inherited a case of'SF' from my late Uncle Marty). Is it O K to use it, even though today's standard is 'SJ'?" T O M : And the answer is yes, it's fine as long as your owner's manual calls for a standard of "SF" and not something better. If it was good enough when the car was new, it's good enough now. RAY: But if your owner's manual specifies something more current (in this case "SH" or "SJ"), then use Uncle Marty's old oil in your lawnmower...or on your salad.

WILLISTON to CAMBRIDGE: Do you work 2nd shift at IBM? I'm looking to ride with someone who works until 11 p.m. (3213) MILTON to COLCHESTER: I would like to take a job working evenings and am hoping someone can help me out with a ride. My hours are 6 p.m. to 10:30 a.m., M-F. (3209)

BURLINGTON: Prof, woman wanted, 3 rooms, 2nd fir., shared kitchen, private bath, lovely, spacious, quiet, great location, no pets. $375/mo. Avail. 12/1 862-4175.

VANPOOL RIDERS WANTED

s R o u t e f r o m : Burlington

1 To: Montpelier

& Richmond

I Work Hours: 7:30 to 4:25 p.m. IContact: Carl Bohlen

climb out the window to escape. My father had to remove all of the solenoids himself so that the doors would operate manually. Toyota said at the time that it had never heard of such a problem and charged us $900for the repair. I've heard that Toyota has since issued a recall. Any advice? —Hugh T O M : Yeah, write to Toyota and ask for your 900 bucks back. If you don't have the receipt anymore, your dealer may still have it — or you may have a canceled check or credit-card statement. RAY: Toyota certainly D I D have a problem with these solenoids (the tiny electromechanical activators that operate things like power door locks). In fact, I even remember customers being advised by their Toyota dealers to carry a brick with them at all times so they could escape the car in case of emergency — since sometimes the power windows failed, too. T O M : Toyota did isjsue a recall

Commuter

Lot

Rideshare

M o n t h l y F a r e : $85

Phone:

828-5215

and fixed this for free on the affected Camrys (if you want to know if your particular make and model has been recalled, get a free "Car Talk Car Report" at our Web site, the Car Talk section of www.cars.com). The fix involved adding an additional sub-relay to the system to prevent it from locking up, and it seems to have done the trick. RAY: And if you paid for the repair of a federally recalled item, you're entitled to a refund from the manufacturer. Tell 'em you'll trade 'em your brick for $900. If it ain't broke, you won't hav< to fix it! Order Tom and Ray's pamphlet, Ten Ways You May Be Ruining Your Car Without Even Knowing It! Send $3 and a stamped (55 cents), self-addressed, No. 10 envelope to Ruin, PO Box 6420, Riverton, NJ 08077-6420. Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care of this newspaper, or e-mail them by visiting the Car Talk section of ( cars.com on the World Wide Web.

?T Classifieds • 864.5684 APT7H0USE FOR RENT

BURLINGTON: No. Champlain St., 2-bdrm. apts. $550-$575/mo. Lease & references. Avail, now. Call 658-2906. BURLINGTON: Condo, 2bdrm., 40 College St. (Battery & College), 6th fir., awesome views. No pets. 1 Yr. lease. $l,800/mo. 864-7537.

HOUSEMATES WANTED BURLINGTON: Female nonsmoker to share apt. w/ 2 babes/ $300/mo. + dep. + utils. Call Liz or Nicole, 658-6372. BURLINGTON: 2 women seeking 3rd roommate—prof./ grad, no smoking/pets. $280/mo. + 1/3 utils. Quiet neighborhood, parking, hdwd. firs., sunny. Avail, now or 12/1. 654-2631(d) or 658-2244(e). BURLINGTON: Female for Ig. bdrm. w/ stained glass & hdwd. firs. Near UVM. Cat OK. $475/mo., incl. all. 863-7949. BURLINGTON: Non-smoker to share furnished, 2-story condo on the river. W/D, garage, no pets. $375/mo. Avail, now. 658-2031. BURLINGTON: Feminist woman only. Share downtown home, garden. Friendly, clean and orderly. No smoking/pets. $325/mo. + utils. 860-6828. CHARLOTTE: Avail, now Share a beaut, apt. w/ great views & location. $400/mo. No pets/smokers. 425-4557. COLCHESTER: Prof, to share 2-bdrm., quiet street, basement, W/D, garage, yard, close to parks, 15 mins. to downtown. No smoking/pets. $315/mo. + 1/2 utils. 865-3814. R I C H M O N D : Avail. 11/1. Share country home, amazing view, parking, access to 120 acres of woods & meadows for skiing, hiking, biking. $375/mo. + utils. Oil heat with wood back-up. Full, private bdrm., private living room, shared guest room, shower and kitchen. 4346311, 656-7744 or roger@telcom.- uvm.edu.

UNIQUE LIVING SITUATIONS FREE ROOM IN EXCHANGE for work around a country house in So. Burlington. Prefer older male, college graduate-age student. Should like to chop wood, work around garden, be familiar with small machinery. Further info: 864-7537(d) or 862-8796(e).

CLEANING SERVICES Hire Housekeeper

with. Heart/

Call Wev # 8S5-521?

? M ±

COMPUTER SERVICES

BUY THIS STUFF

MATTRESS & 2 BOXES: king-size, orthopedic pillowUser-Friendly Help When You top w/ frame. Brand new, still Need Us Technical Support - System in plastic. Cost $1,295. Sell Maintenance - Tutoring - Problem $495. 658-5031. Solving - Repair

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PERSONAL CHEF CHRISTOPHER SLOANE, Personal Chef, available for private, elegant dinner parties. Classically trained, 20yrs. exp., extensive portfolio. Specializing in Contemporary American and Traditional New England cuisine. Private instruction also available. 859-9040.

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TUTORING SERVICES FRENCH LESSONS: Elementary to Grad level by a native French speaker. Call Marjorie, 859-3411. MATH, ENGLISH, W R I T I N G , Science, Humanities, Proofreading from elementary to graduate level. Test Prep for GRE, LSAT, GMAT, SAT I & SAT II, ACT, GED, TOEFL... Michael Kraemer, 862-6599.

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BUY THIS STUFF CHRISTMAS SALE! Huge selection for everyone: jewelry, watches, luggage, briefcases, car essentials, specialty, herbs, software, cheap International long distance, business opportunities. nxjaz.com/salel.htm. (AAN CAN) D I N I N G ROOM SET: Cherry wood, 12 pc., 92" double pedestal table, 8 Chippendale chairs, lighted hutch & buffet, sideboard/ server. Never opened, still in box. Cost $11,000. Sacrifice for $3,800. Keith, 658-4955.

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MUSIC YOU'RE LEGIT & I'M INTERESTED in making music with you. Skills not particularly important. D o n ' t f o r Dave Matthews or mosh pit. Ben, 244-7857. POKER HILL STUDIO: 8994263. BASS PLAYER/LEAD VOCAList wanted: All-original, oldschool, aggressive rock band, Festivus. Ready to gig & record. Call Gene or Travis, 479-1117 or 223-5881. 16-TRACK ANALOG RECORDING. Dogs, Cats & Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, prof, environment. Services for.- singer/songwriters, jingles, bands. New digital mastering/recording. Call Robin, 658-1042.

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MUSIC INSTRUCTION BANJO: Old time style. After 4 lessons, you will be pickin' and strummin' traditional Appalachian tunes. Emphasis on rhythm, technique and musicality. Call Mara,,8623581. GUITAR: All styles/levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Revue, Kilimanjaro, SklarGrippo, etc.). 862-7696.

LEGALS NOTICE TO CREDITORS State of Vermont, District of Chittenden, SS. Probate Court Docket No. 28774 In Re: The Estate of Douglas Mark Timm, late of Huntington.

LEGALS the estate must present their claims in writing within 4 months of the date of the first publication of this notice. The claim must be presented to me at the address listed below with a copy filed with the register of the Probate Court. The claim will be forever barred if it is not presented as described above within the four-month deadline. Dater October 27, 1999 Douglas H./Florence M. Timm Box 1000, Main Road Richmond, VT 05477 Name of Publication: Seven Days 1st Publication Date: 11/10/99 2nd Publication Date: 11/17/99 Address of Probate Court: Chittenden Probate Court PO Box 511, Main Street Burlington, VT 05402 GENERAL EDUCATION F U N D LEGAL NOTICE The annual report of the General Education Fund, Inc., founded by Emma Eliza Curtis, is available for inspection during regular business hours at its principal office, The Merchants Trust Company, 164 College Street, Burllington, Vermont by any citizen on request made within 180 days of this notice. Geoffrey Hesslink President NOTICE OF SALE

To the creditors of the estate of Douglas Mark Timm, late of Huntington,

State of Vermont Chittenden County, SS. Chittenden Superior Court Docket No. 5924-97 CnC

I have been appointed a personal representative of the above named estate. All creditors having claims against

Bank of New York, Plantiff v. Todd A. Leggett and United States of America, Defendants

LEGALS By virtue and in execution of the Power of Sale contained in a certain mortgage given by Todd J. Leggett and Elizabeth A. Leggett to America's Wholesale Lender dated July 31, 1996, and recorded in Book 355 Page 262 of the Land Records of the Town of Essex, of which mortgage the undersigned is the present holder, for breach of the conditions of said mortgage and for the purpose of foreclosing the same will be sold at Public Auction at 10:00 o'clock a.m. on the 18th day of November A.D. 1999, 4 Sleepy Hollow Road, Essex, Vermont all and singular premises described in said mortgageTo wit: Being all and the same lands and premises conveyed to Todd Leggett and Elizabeth Leggett by Warranty Deed of Harold L. Whitcomb and Lois Whitcomb dated December 7, 1994, and recorded in Volume 332, at Page 270 of the Land Records of the Town of Essex. Being a parcel of land located on the northwesterly side of Sleepy Hollow Road, socalled, said parcel of land depicted as Lot S, containing 10.26 acres, more or less, on a plan entitled "Master Plan Harold Whitcomb, Jr. and Lois Whitcomb, Town of Essex, Vermont" drawn by John'A. Marsh, dated May 6, 1985, last revised December 14, 1994, and recorded in Map Slide 298 of the Land Records of the Town of Essex. Reference is hereby made to the instruments aforementioned, and the records thereof, and the instruments therein referred to in further aid of this description. Terms

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Dear Cecil, I work for a university library that receives massive amounts of federal government documents. The shipment I opened today included multiple translations of a pamphlet from the Department of Housing and Urban Development called Resident Rights and Responsibilities in Spanish, French, Ethiopian, Korean, Portuguese, Russian and Creole. The last one stopped me, since I had never seen a document written in Creole. So I opened it and read it. A paragraph is included below. This is a joke, right? "Yuh as a rezedent, ave di rights ahn di rispansibilities to elp mek yuh HUD-asisted owzing ah behta owme f t yuh ahn yuh fambily. Dis is a brochure distributed to yuh cawze Hud ah provide some fawm ahf asistance aur subsidy f t di whole apawtment buildin. As ah pawt ahfits dedication f i maintain di bes pawsible living environment f t all rezedents, yuh HUD field affice encourage ahn suppowts ..."

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I don't mean to cast aspersions, but this looks like bad phonetics! What's the deal, Cecil? (1) Is Creole a written as well as an oral dialect? (2) Is there any French or Spanish influence in Creole (that's what I thought I would find)? (3) Are the above quotations formal written Creole? (4) If number three is false, how do I find out exactly who's been bogarting the bowl on the job to produce this document? — Eli Harvey, Palo Alto, California You skipped the best part: "We ave a pawtnaship wid everi rezedent of HUD-assisted owzing developments: H U D prowtekss di rights ahf di tenants, ahn tenants gauwd dem own right tru rispansible bei'aviah. Owah goal is fi guh beyan dat pawtnaship ahn create a sense ahf c o m m u n i t y . . . " This is signed "Sekretary Andrew M . C u o m o fella." (For a longer excerpt, see www.straightdope.com/columns/huddoc.html.) W h a t do we have here: a sincere but spectacularly misguided attempt to speak di language ahf di pipple, or racist parody? Michael Kane, executive director of the Boston-based National Alliance of H U D Tenants, has no doubts: "This is a vicious racist joke," he says. "It is clearly a malicious slur" that is "deeply insulting to African-American people." Kane speculates that the brochure was created by a prankster using one of the burlesque "Ebonics translation programs" available on the Internet. H e thinks the responsible party "should be identified and fired." I got conflicting stories from H U D . Initially I spoke to a junior PR staffer who said a version of the brochure in Haitian Creole, a French-based language, had been published in October 1998. (In linguistics, creole is a generic term for the melding of a dominant language with elements of a subordinate language. Both Frenchand English-based Creoles are spoken in the Caribbean.) T h e English-based version cited above appeared earlier this year, but H U D withdrew it in September (and the Haitian Creole version as well) after a complaint was filed. Insisting no malice was intended, the H U D staffer said the brochure was prepared by a contractor. Fine — blame the writer.

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T h a t was on a Friday. T h e following M o n d a y I heard from G i n n y Terzano, H U D ' s public affairs director, who called to say that the d o c u m e n t was bogus: "This was not sanctioned or authorized by H U D . We did not knowingly distribute this. We think it is offensive and in extremely bad taste." Having somehow gotten through the approval process, the brochure had a print run of 2000 copies (a small quantity for H U D ) , 1500 of which were distributed before someone higher up got wind of it. Says Terzano, "We are trying to get to the b o t t o m of this." If the d o c u m e n t was a prank, it was a clever one. "Whoever wrote the text used certain features to reproduce phonologically the peculiarities of Caribbean speech," says Professor Salikoko Mufwene, chairman of the linguistics department at the University of Chicago and an expert in English-based Creoles. Authentic touches include "owme" for home, "affice" for office and "fambily" for family, as well as the word "fi" (to or for), which is heard in the English-based patois of Jamaica. But no one with half a clue would seriously attempt to write such a brochure. O n e obvious problem: trying to produce a written d o c u m e n t in what is primarily a spoken language. W h i l e a few French-based Creoles such as Haitian have standardized spelling and are taught in the schools, English-based Creoles don't and aren't. If a speaker of Caribbean English can read, he reads standard English. Even if you accept H U D ' s explanation, you have to wonder what kind of review process would allow an embarrassment like this to get out the door. A n d if it was written in good faith, then, as Mufwene puts it, "They were stupid." N o foolin', m o n . ® — CECIL A D A M S Comments, questions? Take it up with Cecil on the Straight Dope message board, www.straightdope.com, or write him at the Chicago Reader, 11E. Illinois, Chicago 60611. Cecil's latest compendium of knowledge, Triumph of the Straight Dope, is available at bookstores everywhere.

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

mnm *

November 11-17 ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19):

You're boggling my mind, Aries! You're cracking me up and making me quiver! How can you possibly keep up this fervor, this flash, this transformative power? Once again, I think the only way to keep you from getting lost in the difficult fun is to give you a step-by-step agenda. Thursday: Make sure the Day of Reckoning happens on your home turf. Friday: Do exactly what you fear. Saturday: Prepare yourself to be alert for unimaginable wonders. Sunday: Say bye-bye to a no-no that's driven you gaga. Monday: Don't be a slave to the things you control. Tuesday: The world is finally ready for your secret.

TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20):

I'm sure you'd never be foolhardy enough to try sneaking through customs with Kenyan ivory or Lebanese hash or some equally forbidden contraband. Use a similar caution as you prepare for the metaphorical border crossing or rite of passage you're about to attempt. Your conscience, not to mention your emotional baggage, must b^squeaky clean. Any booty you bring with you to the other side should be free of parasites and stinky karma. This is no time to be consumed with nasty thoughts about anything, including yourself.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): "Dear Dr. Brezsny: I keep dreaming of furry black caterpillars crawling back and forth across my bedroom walls. Actually, they don't crawl as much as they slink. Another weird thing is that each time I dream about them, they're bigger and fatter than they were in the previous dream. Last night they were the size of kittens. Do you think they're omens that I'm having trouble breaking out of my chrysalis state? — Cocooned Gemini." Dear Cocooned: They're omens all right, but I suspect you've misinterpreted them. In my oracular opinion, the dreams say you won't be

Sta c ^

like a fluttery butterfly when you finally hatch, but more like a slinky cat. And if that's the case, you're right on schedule. An intelligent, lovable mischief-maker takes longer to incubate than a beautiful ephemera.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): The epithet my readers most frequently choose to describe me is "creative." The funny thing is, I really don't think I was born with more creativity than anyone else. I've just worked harder to access it. In any case, my fellow Crabs, this is an astrologically favorable time for you to become more like the innovative, improvisational creature you may imagine me to be. By next week I expect a masterpiece, whether it's a scale model of the Eiffel Tower built out of toothpicks or a brilliant strategy to save your company thousands of dollars or a generous revolution in your approach to intimacy.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): Many people write me to complain that they've paid their dues for a long time only to be cheated out of their just desserts in the end. While I'm always sympathetic, I also feel it's my duty to play devil's advocate. "What was the emotional attitude you held uppermost in your heart as you did your difficult duty?" I ask them, adding, "Because that's as important as your outward behavior in determining how life responds to your efforts." And how does this apply to you, Leo? It's meant to be a helpful warning as you plow through your own struggles. I can assure you that as long as you don't indulge in massive resentment, you will pass your grueling test. As long as you make your heroic sacrifices with real love, they will yield the returns you hope for.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

* y rt I ft o r BY ROB BREZSNY I

•

Dear Virgos: I was nothing when I first started creating this horoscope column. I was a mediocre astrologer and a half-decent writer who had a higher opinion of myself than I deserved. But you stuck with me. You kept reading. Best of all, you were my most constructive critics. The feedback you sent in your letters was smarter and more helpful than the input I got from any other sign. With your discriminating support to guide me, I matured into a humble wise guy who is now able to offer you gifts you can really use. Thank you, my dears. By the way, there's now a person in your life whose relationship with you can be like yours once was with mine. He or she has the potential to give you the inspirational critique you once provided me. But you'll have to ask.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I'd like to introduce you to the ancient healing art of tantric head-banging. Before you jump to conclusions, I want to assure you that it does not consist of pounding your skull manically against a wall until a brainstorm arrives. Once you've mastered the art, you'll know that any brainstorm that comes will be a useless hallucination unless the banging is very gentle and the wall is soft. Now take a look at the themes in your life which stand to benefit most from tantric headbanging: 1) how to drum up other approaches to learning besides the "no pain, no gain" shtick; 2) how to tell the difference between being nice and helpful and being nice and stupid; 3) how to love someone so much you can use your head to send coded messages to them through thick walls.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I believe it's high time for you to throw a "Big Ego" theme party. Invitations should read, "This is your

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\m I

perfect excuse to bring raving selflove out of the closet. Come dressed as your favorite conceit. Be prepared to boast for at least 10 minutes nonstop about all the awesome talents and awful vices that make you so special." You should by rights be the life of this party, Scorpio, mainly because (according to my astrological calculations) you're at the peak of the swaggering season. Your bragging expertise should ensure that the narcissistic grandiosity you express is more wickedly beautiful than everyone else's.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov.

22-Dec. 21): I'm relieved to see the Scapegoat Festival sputtering to an end. Did you really volunteer to wear the crown of thorns and run the gauntlet? Or were you drafted? I can appreciate your secret longing to be the center of attention and a projection screen for everyone's strong emotions. But there are other starring roles you could play that would offer much less stressful glory and require no flagellation. Promise me, Sagittarius, that you've acccpted your last invitation to the Scapegoat Festival.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-

Jan. 19): I've discovered there are righteously selfish reasons for me not to hate the things I hate. As much harm as fundamentalist Christians have wreaked on our culture, for instance, I realize it only makes me sick to dwell on my disgust for them. It feeds the very "us versus them" thinking that I despise, and cripples my credibility as a fighter for tolerance. As unnatural as it feels, then, I do what Jesus preached when he said "Love thine enemy." Any chance you'll consider taking up this struggle in the next couple weeks, Capricorn? I swear it'll be great for your health.

Make a list of the three things you most revile. Then come up with practical actions you can perform to counteract the damage they cause. Finally, exorcise the poisonous feelings they generate in you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

18): Whenever I contemplate your relationship with groups, I picture you adopting Groucho Marx's famous position: "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member." But I'd like to ask you to think about setting aside that attitude for now, Aquarius. Why? Because I have psychically detected a rather intriguing new group effort at the edge of your world. If you joined in, it could dramatically escalate your ascension to godhood.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): What is the best thing you can do right now to edge towards your rightful destiny as a lion-hearted saint with raging street smarts? What exactly do I mean when I suggest that you seek out a state of orgiastic lucidity which would make you horny for salamanders, clouds, toasters, trees — and even the ocean itself? Why am I so sure that you will soon slip into a state of holy madness which will help you exorcise the black magic you performed on yourself in the past? As you bask in your odd sanctuary, Pisces, there on the wild frontier where the old laws of your life no longer seem so immutable, all this and more should become clear.® You can caff Rob Broxsny, day or night for your

expanded weekly horoscope

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18 and over. Touchtone phone. c/s 912/373-9785 And don't forget to check out Rob's Web site at uiuiyir.realastrology.com/ Updated Tuesday night.

last week's answers ACROSS I Smash letters 4 -de-lance Valhalla villain I I Ruined 16 Greenish yellow 18 Make like 19 Fathered a foal 20 Navy builder 21 Film directed by George Cukor 23 Opera by George Gershwin 25 "Aida" composer 26 Entire range 28 Turn about 29 Congeal Always 32 Art deco designer 3 4 " _ Lee" ('59 hit) 37 Engineering feat by George Goethals 40 Scent 41 Petty or Poston 42 Funnyman Philips 43 Cry of concern 46 Nightingale prop 49 Tune

99 Eat in the D O W N evening 1 Eastern 100 Rock's European 58 Folklore David 2 Take a taxi figure L.06 3 Actor Sharif 59 Active types 102 Role~ 4 Remote 60 '68 Bee played by 5 Bit of wit Gees hit George 6 Melodious 62 Spanish Clooney McEntire shout 108 Bayreuth's 7 Ray of 63 Sheltered, locale "GoodFellas" at sea 111 Scandinavian 8 Rink legend 65 Tiers seaport 9 Beer barrels 67 Producer 112 Drench 10 Pastoral Prince poems 113 West 68 Fiber ender? 11 The source 114 Swenson of Burning " "Benson" 69 Novel by ('84 film) George 12 Research 116 Data Orwell site 118 Kinshasa's country 73 Song by 13 Corpulent George 14 North Sea 122 Play by Harrison feeder George Bernard 76 Lonely fish? 15 Heron's Shaw 77 Max _ home Sydow 17 German 126 Comic 78 Bailiwick port strip 80 Hautboy by George 19 Rebuff Herriman 81 Sapporo 20 "Slammin* sash Sam" 128 Wagner 82 Gaggle gals 22 Parvati's heroine spouse 84 "The 129 Designer - Creation" Perry 24 Mustangs conposer and Pintos 130 Sundown, 86 Writer to Shelley 27" culpa" Runyon 131 Splinter 31 Part of 90 Tongues of group EMT fire 33 Panache 132 Heavy 92 Sign a check blows 35 Drives and 94 Bronze drives? 133 "Sad feature ('79 hit) 3 6 " _ Spee" 95 Paradise 37 Use a ewer 134 Wily 96 Role for Liz 135 "I told you 38 Snowballs, sometimes 97 Wonderment so!" 52 Strait 56 TV's "Family

39 Designer 82 Doge city? Chanel 83 Chemical 41 Explosive ending initials 85 Bargain 44 Author 87 Pine for Wallace 88 Burden 45 Honolulu 89 Short hello snooze 47 Native New 91 TV tycoon Zealander Griffin 48 Damascus 93 Extinct bird dish 94 Cuban 50 Censure currency 51 Grasso or 96 Audrey Wilcox Meadows' birthplace 53 Munich mister 98 Spendthrift 54 Luncheonette 101 Clan lure 103 Egyptian 55 Australian st. deity 104 Arm bones 56 Wing it 57 Descartes 105 Political or Levesque abbr. 106 Make fun of 59 Crusoe's 107 Approves creator 61 Boca FL 108 Reckless 109 Type of pear 64 Sprites 110 Think alike 66 Vow 68 It's heard in 113 Send out 115 With skill a herd 69 Beginning 117 Luau on instruments 119 Turner and 70 Clavell's" Pappas House" 71 Ancient epic 120 Marathon 121 Kitchen 72 Photogaddition? rapher Adams 123 Vintage 74 Robert of 124 Sts. "Airplane!" 125 Barley beverage 75 Fountain i order 127 which way (care79 Sweater lessly) letter

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DREAM-DANCE BARS: Swirl waltzes and spicy salsa onto well-seasoned dance floor; cooking with hot band, rock & roll 'til sizzling; then keep swinging 'til really cool. Serves two. 1031 DWPF, 33, 5'4", 115 LBS., EDUCATED, athletic & independent lady, enjoys skiing, snowshoeing, hiking, etc.; sharing quiet evenings at home (no TV) and occasional evenings out. ISO gentleman for friendship/LTR. 1036 SWPF, 52, 5*8", SLENDER, CULTURED & sophisticated, but loves to be silly, too. Likes to ski, read, movies, ISO SM, NS, 4555, honest, fun-loving and sensitive. 3855 SWINGIN' SKIER. 46 YO, 5-9" WPF, NS, blond/blue-eyed swing-dancing skier seeks tall PWM, NS, for indoor/outdoor, friendly fun. 3822

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EXTRA, EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT IT. Wanted: young man, single and free. Experienced in love preferred, but will accept a young trainee. 1268 DWF, 45, ATTRACTIVE, ECLECTIC, WHIMSICAL, yet down-to-earth. Enjoys books, travel, X-country skiing. Seeks creative, affectionate M, 45+, NS, to share Sunday papers, fine wine, long walks and laughter. 1308 LONG-LAYERED LANDSCAPE INSPIRES ME TO kayak, camp, bike, drive, photograph and paint. I'd love a good-natured, perceptive, appreciative, middle-aged companion in my search for aesthetics, synchronicity & communion with nature. Active DWPNSF. 1317 ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, ACTIVE DWPF, 31, mother of 2, ISO sensitive, down-to-earth, honest, gentle, attractive D/SPM, 28-40, with similar likes/lifestyle to share good conversation & candle-light dinners. 1203 TALL & 21. Looking for an adventurous guy to wear all my shoes with: dancing shoes, hiking boots, sexy sandals, and fuzzy stippers. Let's run and have fun! 1242 SWF, 36, NS, ND, PHYSICALLY FIT, CRAFTS person, musician, dancer, loves gardening, lively conversation over a healthy homecooked meal. ISO articulate, honest, 32-42, hard-working, with similar interest. 1243 I CAN GO FROM BOARD MEETINGS TO BINGO halls, B.B. King to Dixie Chicks, and silk to denim. Can you? DWF, 49, seeks SWM, NS. 1247 EVOLVING HIPSTER WITH LOTS OF INTEGRITY, spark and passions seeking fun, love & hormony in the woods, at the ocean, over food & watching films. Ages 37-53. Work. 1255 SPF, 24, SEEKS ATTRACTIVE, FIT PM, 24-30. Can't live with mother, and have own vehicle! Must love the outdoors, good beer and music. Must like children. 1148 HI, I'M A 32 YO, SBF LOOKING FOR A SENSItive, loving man who is family-oriented, wants to settle down and spirit-filled. Please, all serious inquiries only. Can't wait to hear from you! 1149 A PACKAGE DEAL: SWPF, 32. 5'2", W/ SENSE of humor, wishes to meet a SWM, 29-39, to share romance, candle-light dinners, movies, travel and dance. 1191 IVORY GIRL, 34, WITH GREEN-EYED GAMINE charm seeks partner for life's simple joys and adventures. I'm the oudoorsy, bookish sort, are you? Letters welcome. 1201 SWF, 38, NS, ATTRACTIVE, PHYSICALLY FIT & humorous. I love animals, waterskiing, tide pooling, fishing, dancing, car shows, cooking, bikes and motorcycles. ISO tall, dark, handsome, sexy and truthful. 1029 SNOWBOARDER LOOKING FOR WINTER FUN. making snow angels, cycling, 99.9, Ben & Jerry's, hiking, jazz, sunsets, Kerouac, writing, Tom Waits — a few of my favorite things. PSF, 26, friendship, possibilities. 1030

ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, PASSIONATE DPF. Cultured, spiritual, loving, socially conscious, intuitive. Enjoy nature, meditation, yoga, the arts, engaging conversation. ISO spontaneous, educated, centered, sensual, communicative partner, 45+, lover of earth/living. 3824 DJF SEEKING RUGGED INDIVIDUALIST MENSCH, 35-45. Should be fluent in all the classics: Alan Sherman, Mel Brooks, Woody Allen. No Three Stooges fans, please. 3837

FOUND THE COOL JOB & GREAT DIGS. Artistic, world-curious SWPF, 35, now seeks a great guy for hiking, movies, good food and wine, a belly laugh or two. 3803 IMPROPER BOSTONIAN: 38, ISO REALLY nice guy, 36-48, w/ a huge heart, sharp mind, strong body, tremendous sense of humor, likes animals, loves dogs, and sleeps in just his socks to keep him warm. NS/ND. 3804

$1.99 a minute, m u s t b e 18+.

BEAUTIFUL, FULL-FIGURED SWF, 22, ENJOYS burning calories by means of strenuous activity, such as: laughing, kissing, dancing & just having fun. Seeks outgoing SWM, 2430, attractive, affectionate, fun lover. 3813 LUGGAGE RACK FILLED. SWPF, BUSINESS owner, recreational athlete, mom with a twist, ISO similar. Sense of humor imperative. Carry-on baggage only. 3814

ABsddnq

wavmn

SEEKING ADVENTUROUS PARTNER. DWM, 40s, 5*9", 150 lbs., appealing, engaging, sexy, youthful, open-minded, proportionate. Love to travel, laugh and create new possibilities. Into sunsets, photography, movies, love and whatever. 1260 ? , ,• WPCM, 37, LOVER OF LIFE AND ITS MANY blessings, seeks companion who is abje to see past the M.S. ISO WPCF, 30-40, for friendship, possible LTR. One of the true nice guys... well-educated and good looking, too. You won't be disappointed. 1264 SWM, 39, FAT, BALDING, ALCOHOLIC smoker, enjoys candle-light dinners (no electricity), long walks (no car), travel (hiding from psycho ex's), cuddling (no heat), the arts (,Hustler magazine), educated (thru 5th grade). All replies answered. 1265 LEAVES FALL 81 THOUGHTS OF THIS FIFTH decader turn toward a fireplace and snowy walks in the woods with one who considers herself warm, attractive, sensual, open, clear and progressive. 1307 ABSOLUTELY AVERAGE IN APPEARANCE, physique, intelligence, humor and all else. Emotionally & financially comfortable SWPM, 43, ISO SWF for dinner, noontime coffee rendezvous, movie, conversation. 1312

BERT THE CHIMNEY SWEEP SEEKS MARY POPPINS. Affectionate, gentle, creative, clever, witty wizard, 37, ISO graceful, intellectual, magical musician. Bring your umbrella so we can fly away together. 1246 VIRTUAL MAGICIAN LOOKING FOR LOVELY SWF assistant who would be willing to discuss mutual magical fantasies and would be kind-hearted and understanding if an illusion or two goes wrong. 1248 SUPERIOR-QUALITY HUMAN: DWM, 47, humor, music, photography, original thinking, adventurous, fit father, high-spirited, intellectually challenging, quick-witted dullard imperfectly attaining excellence sometimes. Seeking pleasure only soulmate can provide. 1249 MY CHRISTMAS WISH: DWM, 37, smoker, decent looks, good build, seeks a slender woman, 32-40, who enjoys the sun, camping, classic rock, music, dancing, nights out, quiet intimate times, much more. 1250

Singles

to lunch with him, and

SEASONED, SECURE AND DEPENDABLY energetic. Communicative, well-travelled, lean SWPM, 42, is simply single. Intentionally open to kindling that special relationship with earthy, attractive, independent woman of style and substance. 1253 EDUCATED, FUNNY, CASUAL GUY ISO BRIGHT, beautiful, sexy woman for laughing/dancing, dinners/movies, long conversations, time together, outdoors. I'm 30s, tall, fit, handsome, adventurous, many interests, lots to share. 1142 JUMP ON MY HOOK. SWM, 24, ISO REAL, responsible, honest, caring SF, 21-30, for life's adventures. I'm casting my line! 1151

SWM, YOUNG-LOOKING 33, INTERESTED IN meeting woman who's secure, preferably older, for companionship, possible LTR. 1199

Coming Soon Check this space in coming weeks

SENSE OF HUMOR, VERY ATTRACTIVE, WELLeducated, positive DWF, 39, seeks secure, principled, reliable, well-read Renaissance man for intelligent conversation, family activities, and a respectful, laughter-filled relationship. 3806 SWF, 25, ATTRACTIVE, PLUS-SIZED, VOLUPTUOUS redhead. Funny, affectionate, single mom starting over; looking for trust & honesty. Seeking tall, NS SWM for romance, possible LTR. 3808 ATTRACTIVE, ATHLETIC, ATTENTIVE, BRILLIANT, basic, book lover, considerate, centered. classy. Those are my ABCs; there's more to this professional. ISO friendship path developing to LTR and soulmate. 3809 HAPPY, ATTRACTIVE, FIT, CARING DWPF, 45, open to new ideas and experiences. Seeking smart, funny PM, late-30s-50s, who will value family, romance and me. 3811

SWM WHO IS SENSITIVE, KIND, SINCERE, romantic. Looking for SWF, 20-30, who has similar interests, career-minded and gorgeous smile. 1313 IF YOU CAN IMAGINE YOUR IDEAL LOVER AND soulmate, intuit that you might find him here. Kindly consider this in-shape, goodlooking SWPM who seeks a pretty woman, 27-37, for everything. 1316 THE WHOLE LOAF THIS TIME? Creative, handsome, successful, very fit. Simply single, 43, honest, with strong inner voice. Please be authentic, attractive, available, fun and want kid(s) someday. Serious replies only. 1239 TAKE A CHANCE. Genuinely kind DWM, 37, of short stature, likes music, art, positive attitudes, many other interests. ISO open-minded, happy, easy-going, interestingly creative, humorous, petite lady, 27-37, for companionship, fun times, possible LTR. 1240

normal, straight lite. But

SHE'S OUT THERE: PETITE, ELEGANT, SENSUAL, kind-hearted, loves nature and healthy living; she's 35-49ish. Me: tall, good-looking, principled, outgoing, mischievous & passionate. Enjoy culture, health, nature. Have zest for life and emotionally available. 1252

SWM NUDIST LOOKING TO MEET 40ISH F who enjoys people, the sun & outdoors, is open, honest & adventurous, to enjoy life. Minimal baggage—clothing and tan lines optional. 1192

ftcvtty

straight guy who leads a the other day a new guy

ENGLISH, SHAGABLE STUD SEEKS WOMAN for fun, love and a great time, baby. 5'n", 170 lbs., dark and handsome. 1153

Winter

I'm a normal,

PRIOR TO MY HECTIC LIFE NOW, I once made time for romance. Now it's time to prioritize all that (back into my life for good). 1251

SWM, 25, ISO F RUNNING MATE, 19-32. I'M 5'ii", 157 lbs., hazel eyes, ISO active F who likes to be fit, hikes, likes to talk, cuddle & have lots of fun w/ life in general. 1152

SEVEN DAYS

Dear Lola,

WSM, 40, LIKES OUTDOORS AND NONmaterialistic women, 30-45. I'm hard-working, brown hair, green eyes, 165 lbs., med.small build and kind-hearted. Single mothers good. 1200 STAND UP, STEP BACK, LISTEN, THEN ACT. 6*2", 210 lbs., loyal, sporadic, dependable, spontaneous, humble, boisterous DWM, 37, ISO attractive, athletic lady for conversation, fun, laughs and more. 1076 OFFBEAT, FUNNY, HANDSOME, FIT, JEANS 81 T-shirts. Love travel, Sunday Times, books, outdoors. SWPM, 36, successfully selfemployed, ISO bright, relaxed, confident woman who holds strong opinions, likes strong company. 1077 QUIET BEAUTY, DEEP INTELLIGENCE, generous heart, slim PF, NS, 34-44, sought by fulltime single, NS dad, 46, who is healthy, happy and humorous. 1078 INTEGRITY AND HUMOR ARE AT THE CORE OF this athletic, 49 YO professional. Looking for attractive, fit and humorous SWF, 35-50, to share in the good life I have. 1083 SWM, 40s, 6', 175 LBS., SEEKS OLDER woman, 58+ (Martha Stewart?), for friendship, erotic encounters, maybe LTR. 1084 I'M BILL, 42, MY HOBBIES ARE MOVIES, camping, dancing, long walks, romantic dinners for two and quiet evenings. Looking for a F, 40-54, with simitar interests. Possible LTR. 1140 READY TO TRY AGAIN. SWM WHO'S FIT, FUN, active, seeks SWF, 5'6" or less, 30-46, who enjoys dancing, dining, outdoor activities, and is fun, fit, attractive. Kids OK. 1028 "VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER." SWM, 24, seeks F, 21-60, who likes truck pulls, wrestling & firearms. Wacking down Strohs and mechanical bulls required. Heavy drinking capabilities a must. 1038

Or respond the old-fashioned way: CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1-900-370-7127

at work asked me to go we had a perfectly

time, but he couldn't seem to keep his hands off me! I can

understand

a handshake, but with both hands?! A tap on the shoulder's okay, but a iqueeze? I got the distinct impression he was putting the moves on me. I've got nothing other people's

against alterna-

tive lifestyles, but that's not me. What should I do? — Worried in Winooski Dear Worried, First, practice

saying

the word "straight"

with-

out adding

"normal"

each time.

Separating

these concepts will help you overcome your homophobic

tendencies.

Second, remember

that

concepts of personal space vary. He was probably just being

friendly.

Finally, keep in mind that most gays are not cut to bed non-gays. Cven if he was interested, I'm sure he read your reaction

correctly.

If not, just tell him no thanks, and keep it friendly. Love,

Jjola Reach out to Lola

c/oOTDfP.akoify 255 S. CJaimpalni Street,

$l.99/min. m u s t b e 18+

nb'iembVr'l

nice

dont want a charge on your phone bill? call 1-800-710-872 and use your credit card. 24 hours a day!

$1.99 a minute, must be 18+.

TALL, STRONG, HANDSOME, STRAW.-BLOND, outdoor-loving muffin-man desires to meet attractive, soft & sweet, mild-to-wild, med.to-petite, fun F—outgoing, humorous, honest. All that good stuff. 28-40, kids OK. 3810 JACK SEEKS JILL (25-33, ATTRACTIVE, intelligent) to run back up that hilt. We all have fallen, but I know that proverbial pail of water is worth it. 1040

fit, tiii 7/1 Aockinq

DWM, 40ISH, FIT, PROFESSIONAL, BUDDHIST, enjoys the arts, staying active, baseball and acting silly. Seeking similar qualities in an emotionally secure, intelligent woman with a sense of humor. 1041

GF, 23, VEGETARIAN, LOVES ROADTRIPS, exploring, long walks, talks, laughs. You: GF, 20-31, no games... wants someone who's loving to hold hands with and stumble through life. 1261

IS THIS YOU? SWF, 30-43, READY TO BE pampered and respected in LTR w/ NS/ND SWM, 42, 5*5". Lookng for the special woman to share the wonders of life. No games. 3846

ME: TALL, DARK, FEMME DYKE. I LOVE KIDS, art, spirituality, kitsch, exercise and home. You: playful but mature, gentle femme dyke with similar interests? Then, say hello. 1144

ARTIST SEEKING PATRONESS-YOU PAY THE bills, I'll do the rest. Interesting, creative scenarios welcomed. Muses need not apply. Inspiration isn't the problem, money is. 3849

CREATIVE, ADVENTUROUS WRITER LOVES friends, literary fiction, foreign films, jazz, NYC, long walks, other cultures. Hates formula fiction, muzak, suburbia, shopping. Seeks NS lesbian, 50+. No married or partnered women. 1190

YO GEEK SEEKS FAIRY PRINCESS WITH whom to share various nerdy pursuits. Must be NS and enjoy film, art, music and life in general. 3853

ivamw

NEW TO VT: GWF, 35, NOT INTO BAR SCENE. Outdoors type with many interests, ISO GF friends, 32-37. Help mend a broken heart. 1127

COMMUNICATION IS KEY. DWCM, Italian/ American. 50s, NS/NA, looking for social, extroverted, active Christian lady—shapely, 4oish, over 5*3", proportional weight, with interests in church, dining, dancing, social interactions. 3854

TENDER-HEARTED, WELL-TRAVELLED, professional city slicker at heart, 31, ISO selfreliant, funny, grounded SGF, 30s, with her #$@* together. Let's go steady in drama-free zone. 1027

SWPM, SUBMISSIVE, 33, MUSCULAR, attractive, 5'8", 180 lbs., seeks F for fun times. Gives great foot massage, kinky & eager to please. Fantasies fulfilled; you're in charge. Safe, sane, friendly, discreet. 1021

MaWBI-CURIOUS MALE: ATTRACTIVE, healthy, friendly and sensual. ISO someone similar to help me explore my more feminine side, through role-playing, a little cross-dressing, etc. Friendship would be nice, too. ND. 1303 CUTE, GAY, UNMASCULINE DUTCH DONKEY, 20, seeks Middle Eastern Arab, 18-24, for fling. No questions asked. 1306 SUBMISSIVE MALE, 37, SEEKNG KINKY, stinky, ripe and raunchy, "in-charge" kind of guy. Can I please you? 1254 SPIFFY, CUTE, GAY, FIT, SMART (MOST OF the time) professional 20-something seeking similar man for LTR only. Likes include: cooking, exotic travel, reading in bed, and generally being silly. 1146 MASCULINE, LATE-20S, IN SHAPE WM. NOT into: lisps, limp wrists, snappy dressers, or too much hair gel. Just a regular guy seeking same: WM, 25-35, casual, discreet, or whatever. 1196 BiWM, 28, 5*9", 155 LBS., BROWN HAIR & eyes, straight-acting and masculine, in great physical shape. Seeking another masculine BiWM, 20-30, for discreet adult fun. 1071 MID-60S, MASCULINE, TRIM , ATHLETIC, 5*9", 175 lbs., trimmed gray/blond beard. Interests: art, music, outdoors, travel. ISO M for outings, dinners, hikes, laughs, weekends away, sleep overs, etc. 1082 COGITO ERGO SUM. GM, 28, 6', 150 lbs., well-educated, mature, sincere, ISO romance w/ intelligent, masculine man in his 30s. Facial & body hair a big plus. 1070

Now you can browse the personals on-line!

TALL, FRIENDLY, FUNNY, FIT, 22, LOOKING for fun, attractive F to have a great time with. Like talking, movies, music, laughing & just hanging out. Sick of party scene. LTR? Maybe. 3821 • ; ; 1 1

'62 CHATEAU COURGETTE. This dry, witty ; wine is a handsome complement to a beau- ! WF, BI-CURIOUS, SEEKING BiF, 19-32. I live tiful vegetarian entree. Sophisticated yet < in Rutland area. Never have had any F relaearthy, self-assured but not obnoxious, hard- ; tionships, but would like to try something bodied but yielding. A great finish to a ; new. Give me a ring. 1032 wilderness hike, or a sensual start to an ! ALERTI! BiF, 26, BLOND, GREEN EYES, VERY evening of rhythm & dance. 3836 < cute, ISO BiFs for fun, conversation & ??. No CREATIVE, PASSIONATE, "YEAR OF THE i preconceived notions, just go with it. No DRAGON" SWM, 47, seeks celestial mate to ' Hootchies! Please take this alert seriously & complement his sensual and intellectual spir- I call. 1043 it. Sagittarian w/ artistic and musical inter! COME ON OVER, PLEASE. WE'LL HAVE LOTS ests a plus! 3838 ! of fun. SWF, 19, seeks sexy goddess to SWM, NS, YOUNG AT HEART, SEEKS NS, \ entertain. If you're pleasantly plump, all the attractive, passionate, mature, compassion; better. 18-24 Y 0 preferred. 3819 ate 5/D/WiF, 45+, whose feet crave extra TLC. ; Please leave name, phone, best times to 2

3839

NEAR EQUINOX. Life is balanced, but not shared. A tropical storm, I strengthen over open waters; energetically creating an eye. Gentle, not flesh-eating. Like my mare, saddied and cantering. Or a harnessed team; anything is possible. Hopeful, my soul glimmers in the Northern Lights, feeling your wings glance by. 3802 ^DECENT PROPOSAL: SWM, 30-something, J P ^ ' 3 " , 160 lbs., professional, well versed in home-cooked meals, candlelight and good music. PS—I believe in Karma & long, soft, wet kisses. 3807

\ > ; < • « « » : J I I t

AQokiriq

MaBiWM LOOKING FOR OTHER BiWM W/ black or red hair, slender build, 19-29. Must be straight acting. For LTR w/ a lot of adult

p|ay- 3847

I'M 70, 5'8", GOOD SHAPE, GRAY HAIR, gray trimmed beard. Have lots of pleasures. ISO friend for fun. So what do you think and what are you going to do? GM only. 3841 WATCH BASEBALL & DRINK BEER W/ SWPM, 32, NS, NS, inexperienced. ISO 21-35 YO for friendship, movies, spectator sports and getting me in shape. 3815 GWPM, 30S, 5*6", 120 LBS., MASCULINE, shy, fit, clean, scared of the scene, seeks younger, smooth-skinned soulmate to share love, laughter and life together. Wouldn't hurt to call, would it? 3816

1265

GWM, 35, 6'i", 250 LBS., SHAVED HEAD, straight-acting, body hair, goatee. New to Burlington. ISO GWM, 18-30, up to 175 lbs., for fun and possible relationship. Call soon. 1267

november 1 0 , 1 9 9 9

WHERE ART THOU, MY TRANSGENDERED goddess? SWM, 38, easy-going and open heart ISO special lady who will share her passion, aspirations and all the joyful gifts of life. Ctrl. VT. 1315 DO I DARE TO EAT A PEACH? SPF, 27, strong, adventurous, reflective and out-spoken ISO , edifying fire. Long for intelligent, witty, passionate conversation, perhaps more. Be 274 5 , M or F, NS. 1 2 5 6 STRAIGHT SWM, 35, 5'9". 160 LBS., HEALTHY & fit, seeking ladies and CUs to warm up these cool evenings, and fulfill fantasies, and become good friends. 1198 DWPM, 40, 6', W/ MEDIUM BUILD, LOOKING for attractive F acquaintance/partner for clean, sensual fun. Explore harmless fantasies from flirting to massages to meeting CUs. 1 0 7 5

MaWCU, YOUNG, ATTRACTIVE & EAGER TO experience new things. Looking for a male w/ similar qualities, plus a little something extra, to help fulfill fantasies. If you feel that you have that something extra, leave message. ND. 1304

B*cbM

• The Outdoor Gear Excliang= used • doseout • new 191 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

and a $25 gift certificate to iw t>ffwr . iHTOr .»"••t< Ali.fa"-

THE DOG TEAM TAVERN Dog Team Rd., Middlebury 388-7651

TALL, GOOD-LOOKING WPMaM SEEKS mistress—attractive, fun, young woman who knows what she wants and willing to be or act kinky and caring at occasional rendezvous. Calls only. 1026 MaWM, 40, LOOKING FOR F, 35-50, TO HAVE daytime fun with. If you're not satisfied, then let's play! I'm a safe, considerate soul who desires you. Looks unimportant. 3856 AMATEUR M STRIPPER, BLOND, TAN, FIT & clean, ISO fun, erotic parties. Personal auditions & all-M party performances free. 3857 WBiM, 44, HANDSOME, HEALTHY & PASSION* ate, emotionally/financially secure, ISO WBiCU, attractive, healthy, for friendship, fun, fantasy, adventure. Separated from soulmates by job & mileage. Please respond, this one's real. 1022 LETS FULFILL EACH OTHER'S FANTASY. Young BSPM, clean, discreet, educated & curious, seeks older lady, 45-70, race unimportant, for an adventure in pleasure. Let's experiment & have fun. Discretion assured & expected. 3826 CREATIVE & EROTIC ROLE PLAY. Sophisticated & imaginative. Safe, sane & discreet. 3835

STRANDED & ALONE THIS WINTER IN VT! MaWPM, secure, fit, fun, sensitive, brainy, youthful, adaptable, ISO adventurous, affectionate, available F, 25-50+, for active, passionate affair we'll never forget. 1080 BORED WITH THE SAME ROUTINE. SWM, 28, 6', 185 lbs., seeks Ma/attached Fs for fun times and conversation. SF & CUs welcome. Discretion a must. Boredom be gone. No mail, please. 1072 WM, 38, CLEAN, ND, DISEASE-FREE, LOOKING for those ladies who desire more: coffee, drink, talk, or more intimate. I'm goodlooking, well-built, discreet & respectful. Age/race unimportant. 1033 GROCERY SHOPPING, ANYONE? WE'VE GOT the "goods" if you're the consumer! Two "fresh" beauties seeking men seeking men who seek women who also seek women who are partial to cucumbers! 1034

ATTRACTIVE GUY SEEKS SAME: 23, 6*. 155 lbs., brown hair, blue eyes, fit. Looking for short- or long-term. Likes outdoors, movies, music. Honesty a plus! 1259

D y k e s 1$>Watch O u < for by

enjoys candle-light dinners (no electricity), long walks (no car), travel (hiding from psycho ex's), cuddling (no heat), the arts ( H u s t l e r magazine), educated (thru 5th grade). All replies answered.

HOUSEBOY TO COMMAND. YOU: HIP, DOMINANT F. "Men are toy things to use." Me: attractive WM, 40, weekend houseboy to use—dishes, cleaning, massage. Let me massage your tired feet, madame. 1314

DO YOU LIKE THE OUTDOORS & EXERCISE? Mid-40S M looking for partner for hiking, bicycling, x-country skiing on weekends. Burlington/Middlebury area. 3820

YOU WANT TO MAKE TRIP WITHOUT TRAVELING? You want to experience foreign adventure? Young, athletic European, 6*3", 185 lbs., wants to prove to you that Euros are the better lovers. 3833

SWM, 39, FAT, BALDING, ALCOHOLIC SMOKER

BIWM, 5'8", 150 LBS., 45, SEEKS CU w/ BiM for threesome. Must be clean, safe and discreet. 1310

SWM, 31, ND/NS. US ON ANY LEVEL: victimless, awake, emotionally available, freedon, tenderness, courageous friends, seriously passionate, understanding love, tough, thriving, have chemistry, and willing to work n ourselves. 1024

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker's Guide to VT from

WM, 50ISH, LOOKING FOR F/CU/OTHERS FOR discreet adult fun. Enjoy watching and more. Open to any ideas. Looks/age unimportant. Mature, open mind is. I love exhibitionism fun. 3 8 4 4

RECENTLY UNEMPLOYED, EASY-GOING, Burlington-area professional seeks 3-4 others similarly situated to congrerate weekly, paying homage to ourselves, as we linger back toward the world of wage slavery. Let's share what, and how, we're doing while learning from experiences of our journeys. 1073 TAKE FRIENDSHIP, ADD WATER & STIR. Where the So. Burlington mall buildings are blue, I will meet you. Think music. M, 50s, ISO SF, NS, for friendship. Let's visit. 1035 SF SEEKING NATIVE SPANISH SPEAKER WHO is interested in teaching me in exchange for help w/ English skills. I'm a certified teacher w/ a BFA in English. 3852

to respond to a personal ad call I-900-370-7127 « • # • ® •>• § • •

we re open 24 hours a day! MCDONALD'S, BANK ST., THURS., 10/7: You made my long lunch wait easier. You liked my high-tech stroller. I liked your smile. Asked about Monroe St. Lunch together next time? 1141 RI-RA'S, FRIDAY NIGHT: YOU BIT MY FRIEND'S ear, but never left your name or number! I missed you for hiking. Call me. I'll buy you a Guinness! 1147

OVERLOOK PARK, 10/31. YOU: GREEN Suburu wagon. Me: bronze Escort wagon. You looked like someone who once knew me. I was petrified. I wish I could've told you that I deeply love you, still. 1257

TUNBRIDGE FAIR PONY RIDE: You and 2ndgrade daughter camped in Middlebury, shirt said "Harlem," you photographed me and my daughter? Love to see photo and what's behind your electric blue eyes. 1150

CAZ, DON'T GIVE UP ON MY LOVE. The words were in frustration, but my love is real. We can overcome our problems. When I close my eyes, you are all 1 see. 1258

IF YOU WERE LOOKING FOR CHRIS...I TRIED, but they messed up your mailbox #. Try this box, instead. 1194

WEEKS ARE YEARS, CANT DRINK ENOUGH beers. Miss you, Snuggle Bunny. And all the world's money can't fill the void. 1262

WAL-MART, SAT., 10/6: You have 4 cats & I have a 12 YO cat. We talked in the pet dept. Let's meet for coffee. 1145

THURSDAY NIGHTS-LAST CALL... COLD stairs... good conversation. Looking forward to seeing you again. Dress warmly! 1263

YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES & HEIGHT CAPTURED my heart. Halvorson's host hiding comedic impulses. Ever been to camp Wigwam? Your secret crush. 1154

JASON, ON HALLOWEEN, YOU KISSED MY hand and melted my heart. Great party on the mountain, care to meet again? I was a bad kitty! 1302 _____

I'D LIKE TO FIND THE GENTLEMAN WHO hopped on the party bus to hand me a rose at Franny O's, Friday night, 10/15! 1189

HEY, WHERE DID MY FUNKY DISCO GLASSES go? Did you borrow glasses from me at Rasputin's, 10/30? Please call. We were both in costumes. 1305

• # ft «

• • • • • • • • • •

$1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

Love waits for no one,.. why should you? Get a jump on your love life with the SEVEN DAYS ON-LINE personals! New listings every Wednesday.

10/21, UNCOMMON GROUNDS: The world is a stage, and we are but actors. You must be Puck, a true sprite! Though midsummer night is gone, you are still my dream. 1202

www.sevendaysvt.com

MUDDY WATERS WINDOW GIRL: I spied you with your short blonde hair and Italian soda, sitting with a friend, 10/20. I know it's late, but happy birthday, my MMG friend! 1244

To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Addressto: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

RED WINE, LADYBUGS, DAISIES, OLD MOVIES, walks and good conversation. 5'7", mid-40's SWPF NS. Artistic, wide variety of interests. Intelligent, passionate, financially secure, sense of humor. Seeking similar gentleman for LTR. Box 633

ELEGANT MUSE, MYSTERIOUS AND WRY. SWF, 46, seeks gentle man caller to spoil. Be a sincere, creative SWPM, 45+, who enjoys foreign film and the esoteric. NW VT. Box 606

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THOUGHTFUL, FIT, WELL-EDUCATED DPF, 49, seeking companion to share hikes, runs, laughter, music, books, ideas. My nest is emptying and it's time to move on. Box 629

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SYMPATICO, INTELLIGENT, LEFT-LEANING F, fit for indoors & outdoors, seeks similar, unattached M companion, 40+, for food, film, conversation, serion piffle & possible LTR. No narcissists need apply. Box 639

ATTRACTIVE, UPBEAT WIDOW SEEKS gentleman, 55 +, who shares love of the arts and nature, for true friendship. Box 619 ARTIST/ACADEMIC SEEKS M, 40 +, W/ fondness for humor, oceans, books, gentle music, conversation, travel, country club activities, gifted children, philanthropy, attractive brunettes. Box 620

DWPF, 49, 5'3", 110 LBS, SEEKS ENERGETIC Ms to cruise the tress and moguls with. Leave past lives behind and have some fun with me. You wouldn't normally answer any ad. Go for it! Box 637

FULL-FIGURED SWF. 18, S ' I O " , ENJOYS hanging out, movies and having fun, ISO SWM, 18-22, w/ similar interests, who is honest w/ good sense of humor, for friendship/LTR. Box 624

COUNTRY WOMAN, INDEPENDENT, WITH varied skills and interests, seeking urban M, 5565, with same for shared travel, adventure and romance. What are you wishing for? Box 634

FULL-FIGURED SWF, 19, 5'2", 210 LBS,, enjoys movies, dining out, walks at night, hanging out and cuddling, ISO friendly, honest, humorous SWM, NS, 18-24, w/ similar interests, for friendship/LTR. Box 625

SWPF, 33, 5'2", n o LBS, LONG NATURALblond hair, blue eyes, educated, passionate, work hard/play hard, love animals. Will you hike, bike, Rollerblade, ski, camp, cook, read, talk with me? Send photo. Box 630

BEYOND THEREBOUND: PWDF, TALL, 44, ISO tall, thoughtful, happy, smart, engaging, cycling & XC skiing enthusiast for great companionship while moving forward. 40s, bearded, rugged, Lamoille Co. a +. Box 618

SWF, 49, FRISKY, EDUCATED, CONTEMPLATIVE, seeking artist/monk/mountain man. Love Merton, Picasso, dogs. Value intelligence, integrity, compassion, simplicity, zaniness, passion. Box 632

VICES, VIRTUES, TALENTS AND GIFTS, perfect am I for all that exists. Scoured I both sea and land; still hoping to find one good man. Box 611

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WELL-EDUCATED, INTELLECTUALLY ACTIVE, entrepreneur, 50s, funny, assumes that most things simultaneously are & are not what they seem. Seeking robust, outspoken but kind partner who can tolerate paradox. Any age. All answered. Photo apprec. Box 626 SWM, 33, FIT; FRANK, DEEP THINKER, sometimes dreamer, who's employable; educated through academics & non-academics; enjoys intelligent dialogue, learning, reading, simplicity, mature, self-sufficient/sustainable living, non-partisan politics; ISO LTR. Box 617

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PROFESSIONAL, 31, 5'6\ 140 LBS., GOODlooking, athletic, hard-working SWM ISO SWPF w/o children, NS, open-minded, who likes sports, movies, travels and to have fun. For LTR. Box 641

jrnn GMCU LOOKING TO MEET NEW FRIENDS FOR dinners, going out, playing cards and other fun things to do. Both of us in our 30s. Please write us. Box 615 GWM, 5'io", 170 LBS., 40S, LOOKING FOR someone to share life with. Likes outdoors, music, biking & life. Have great sense of humor. ISo sensitive GM. Box 610 SLENDER, HEALTHY GWM, 55, SMOKER, bottom with endless libido, seeks top w/ same for monogamous, lasting LTR. Write. Telt me about yourself and I'll respond. Box 612

FEEL LIKE SHARING THE GOOD ALONG W/ the bad? I do, perhaps with you. Allegedly handsome, 40, brown/brown, 5'9", 170 lbs. Very laid-back fan of all life has to offer. Box 613

GAELIC MYSTIC: ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, vivacious, compassionate, green-eyed ecowoman sought. Adirondack ecoradical, SOH, handsome, passionate, steel sculptor, seeks kindred spirit, 37ish, needing wilds, dreams, home, romance, uplifting endeavors. Box 642

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MATURE, ATTRACTIVE GUY, 42, BR./8R., 6*4", 193 lbs., masculine, very intelligent and sincere, seeks another straight-acting guy who might easily turn heads at the gym or Nectars. Be humble. Box 607

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GWF LOOKING FOR SOMEONE IN THEIR MID305 to enjoy life with, because life is too short, and it would be nice to have someone special to share it with. Box 638

LETS REINVENT HAPPY TIMES1 70 YO widower, 5'u", 185 lbs., sense of humor, enjoy life & all worthwhile pursuits. Looking for a lady with similar qualities for friendship. Box 636

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GPF CU, 35 & 37, SEEKING GF CU FOR friendship. We dine out, play pool/cards, hike, fish, or just sit and chat. Interested? Montpelier area. Box 623

ROMANTIC SWM COLLEGE PROFESSOR interested in travel, photography, astronomy, theater, museums, Trivial Pursuit, more! I'm 51, 5'10", 245 lbs. Seeking F, 21-50, NS, interested in sharing life's joys. Box 628

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DWPM, MID-50S, EXCELLENT WORKING condition (phys., emot., finan.), seeking older F, buxom & ravenesque, for occasional gentle, intimate encounters. Note & photo appreciated. Box 640

Bi-CURIOUS WF, 23, LOOKING FOR SOME fun and frolic. ISo BiF, 20-30, who is intelligent, attractive and discreet. Herb friendly. Come play with me. Box 627

TALL, FIT DWM, MID-40S, PRO PHOTOGRAPHER, seeks tall, fit PWF, under 40. & knows who she is, for dates, possible LTR. Prefer Ctrl, or NE VT areas. Box 631

CU (F, 22 & M, 30) ISO EROTIC BiF TO plea sure our needs. F, 22 — first time. M/F threesome. Show us the way to happiness. Any exhibitionist out there? Box 635

GWP. CAN YOU APPRECIATE A WARM, QUIET evening of good food, good talk, honesty & acceptance w/ an openness to what "could be?" Then write me & see what develops. Box 616

KINKY SWM, 22, ATTRACTIVE, WITTY & horny; into bondage, forced feminization, cross dressing and strap-ons. ISO horny F, Bi/straight, to be love slave to. Be clean. Will answer all. Box 608

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR W E B BROWSER TO HTTP://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM TO SUBMIT YOUR MESSAGE ON-LINE. How to place your f-Ktt personal ad with Person to Person

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