Seven Days, November 22, 1995 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE A

the

the Zabaieen project in a building ' V rivers of raw

Swifjt

Justice

L r k n n ?q

Sorlie, editor of

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Noting they were four months away from parole but now face up to 15 more years for escape, Utah corrections spokesperson Jack Ford said, "Anybody who escapes with that little time left cant be very smart."

In with a Bang Authorities in Rogers, Arkansas, charged Johnny Lee Nichols, 25, with going door-todoor trying to trade dynamite for sex or drugs. They found five and a half sticks of Dyno-Omnimax in his car.

Trash into

Cash

Craig Randall, 23, a garbagetruck driver from East Bridgewater, Massachusetts, plucked a Wendy's contest cup off a pile of trash after noticing it still had a contest sticker. He pulled the sticker off hoping to win some French fries to go with the free sandwich he won the week before. Instead he won $200,000. Egypt's women garbage collectors have begun making extra money by sorting through the mountains of garbage dumped daily by Cairo's 10 million people, picking out cloth to turn into trendy fashion accessories. Rugs and quilts made by members of

planes flying in the region were scaring off the aliens. After an hour had passed, they announced the aliens weren't coming because President Zhelyu Zhelev had declined to meet with them. police had to usher the women away from the angry crowd.

television set and a " Alt Wet with identification L Missing the Point Richard Chenier, 35, whose body coin-operated washing machines Iranian Deputy Education police had found earlier on his liv- at 4 a.m. in an apartment build- . Minister Hossein Herati assured agreed to testify against their foring room floor. They speculated ing in Elizabeth, New Jersey, the critics of new classes on family mer associates in return for prothat Jackson killed Chenier, burthief decided to tip over the planning for female high school tection and reguglarized his home and stole his machines, which broke the water students that they will not discuss car before attempting the pipes connected to them and sex. Instead, he said, the classes heist. "This whole sprayed water all over. The sound will deal only with the problems thing has been a of the machines hitting the floor caused by the population increase. weird case," and the running water awoke the Detective Dennis building superintendent, who Misguided Missiles Danielson said. "This spotted the thief running away After a family in Level Plains, ^ guy went through a and called police. Assistant proseAlabama, reported hearing a loud crime rampage for 24 cutor Peter McCord told a grand crash and finding a small rocket 0 hours, and then God said, jury in August that police arrested lodged in the roof of their storage 'You're outta here,' and had him Robert Brown, 30, moments later, shed, police Lt. Ralph Reed detaken off this Earth." because he was "dripping wet." scribed the object as a live, 18-inchlar income from the government He was also carrying 63 quarters. long missile, prompting the evacuathat they are becoming a drain on Dumb and Dumber tion of nearby homes. A bomb public spending. The government Two escapees from a Utah False Alarm squad summoned from Fort Benannounced it is taking steps to state prison were arrested after Some 1500 people gathered at ning, Georgia, investigated and confind the pentiti, or repenters, regbeing questioned by campus an airfield in northern Bulgaria in cluded the projectile was a "hobby ular jobs. police at the University of September to await the arrival of rocket" that posed no danger. California at Berkeley. Anthony eight alien space ships'. Three local An army anti-aircraft unit near Candid Camera Scott Bailey, 27, and Eric Neil women —- Radka Trifonova, Cherepovets, Russia, put an ad in In Chillicothe, Ohio, Vernon Fischbeck, 21, aroused suspicion Zdravka Krumova and Ekaterina the local paper offering decommisViney, 21, visited his ex-wife's by saying they were from "Frisco," Nikiforova — declared that the sioned missiles for sale. The unit is house to videotape their child. a nickname for San Francisco that aliens would help the poor Balkan no longer able to guard the weapons According to police, he also tourists use but residents, avoid. country pay its $12.9 billion forand fears they could be stolen. The unwittingly recorded himself slap- When one provided two different eign debt. According to police ad suggested that the missiles, sellping and threatening to kill the spellings for his purported last Major Stoyan Marinov, when the ing for 800,000 rubles ($180) with woman. name, officers took them in and space ships failed to appear at the their fuel and ammunition replaced discovered they were fugitives. scheduled time, the self-styled by sand, would make good scaremediums told the crowd that war- crows for gardens. •

SEVEN

DAYS

PILGRIM'S PROGRESSO r I read Peter Freyne's article, " T h e Soup Solution" (Inside Track, November 1), with considerable surprise and dismay. His "oh-so-clever" piece does a disservice to the Vermont Foodbank and all organizations in our state that work long and hard to alleviate hunger. It is sad to see that, while we're struggling to keep thousands of needy families from the brink of starvation, Mr. Freyne would cynically trivialize the issue to make a political attack, ""^niiimin^ Politics has no place in the fight against hunger. Governor W Dean asked to hold his press conference at the Foodbank on October 25 to dramatize the severe problems that citizens of our state will face when Ij^ag^L Congress makes its massive cuts in federal nutrition and ^ other social programs. Mr. ^^IJI Freyne appears to have missed ^^^^ the major point of the conference. T h e governor knows that ^ ^ j this state — which has its own budgetary problems — cannot alone make up the huge gap resulting from federal cuts. He knows that nonprofits like the Vermont Foodbank will have to work harder than ever, and will need significantly more support to keep the safety net in place for our needy neighbors. Last year the Vermont Foodbank provided one million pounds of food to more than 100,000 hungry Vermonters through 192 nonprofit member agencies in every county. This year our goal is to increase that by 50 percent, which is still far less than what is needed. We'll increase the amount we can distribute as fast as possible. T h e Senate version of the welfare bill — the least draconian — will mean an estimated cut of $ 3 3 million dollars in Vermont in the Food Stamp program alone over the next four years. That's just one of several vital nutrition programs to be cut or eliminated. Obviously, state government can't do it all. Neither can the Vermont Foodbank. Mr. Freyne states that, even if the governor's suggestion led to Vermonters making regular donations to the Foodbank or a local food shelf of

Letters Policy:

"say, 5 percent, it would still fall far short of covering the craters carved out by the Army of Newt." Five percent of 1.5 million pounds of food is 7 5 , 0 0 0 pounds — enough to feed a lot of hungry kids. But w h y not 10 percent? Or 20? W e have found Vermonters to be generous and concerned. Mr. Freyne apparently doesn't think they should bother with the governor's suggestion. All or nothing? If Mr. Freyne had listened more attentively he would have understood the governor wasn't saying charities must do it all. Private charities should — and will — work together with state government as partners in this struggle. T h e Foodbank receives no state or federal funding; its operating support comes primarily from the contributions of Vermonters, from grants, private foundations, corporations and special events. T h e food we acquire comes from a variety of sources, including donations from Vermont's food industry, local food drives and individual contributions — like that can of soup the governor held up. W h i l e Mr. Freyne would ridicule the governor's action at his news conference, those of us in the fight against hunger know that if thousands of Vermonters donated one can of food regularly, it would make a huge difference to all those hungry families. T h e governor knows that also, and took this opportunity to help meet the need in a constructive way. All of us will have to work together to help those in need. Does Mr. Freyne think that taking cheap shots at the governor and the Vermont Foodbank is helping to solve a very real problem? Clearly, Mr. Freyne knows nothing about the serious problem of hunger in Vermont and the battle waged by organizations like the Foodbank to counter it. He might have been enlightened if, after the news conference, he spoke to me or another staff member, but he made no such effort. Such knowledge, I guess, would not have served his purpose. W e at the Vermont Foodbank are fortunate in knowing that both the executive and legislative branches of our state government will do everything possible to see that the needy among us aren't thrown out, cold and hungry. The same can't be said in all states. We are also fortunate to have a governor who cares. Howard Dean has long been a supporter of the Foodbank. That has nothing to do with politics. It has to do with humanity. Where are you, Mr. Freyne? — Edward Day E. Montpelier

BIG BIRD Talking turkey is a whole lot easier than cooking it By J e f f

Elliott

.page

THREE MEN AND A NEIGHBORHOOD A new coffeeshop in the Old North End blends beans and bytes By Pamela P o l s t o n

page

BOND MARKET The latest from 007 is big on babes, small on plot page 15

By Megan H a r l a n

NO TROUBLE IN RIVER CITY Review

o/The M u s i c M a n

By P.

F i n n McManamy

page 17

RISING TO THE OCCASION An architect's view of the Rose Street By M i c h a e l

Project page 19

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How does a person gel listed in the Social Register? Obviously genetics must be a factor, along with piles of money. But many people with both appear to be excluded, while others lacking one or the other are listed. Who decides, anyway? And why does such a silly institution continue in the first place? - Fania, Washington, D.C. They leave you out again, kid? I told you they wouldn't be impressed by that bowling trophy. Although the Social Register folks declined to be specific, I gather it's like the Masons — you have to be invited. There's an anonymous admissions committee, and if you can get several people who are already in the book to nominate you or, even better, if you can get married to a listee, you've got a chance. If that doesn't work, your best bet is to get yourself elected President of the United States — he always gets in, whether he deserves it or not. The concept behind the Social Register takes awhile to grasp. Here we have the 30,000 snootiest families in the country, and they consent to put their addresses and phone numbers in a - book available in the public library: Think of the junk mail these guys must get. On the other hand, in a society full of climbers and frauds, I suppose there's a need for a quick-anddirty way of distinguishing the quality from the shlubs. Screening ensures that the-people who make it in aren't merely rich, they're Our Sort — no guarantee that a listee isn't a heel, but at least he's discreet.

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know that it was first published in 1887 in New York and that there were separate editions in major cities until 1977, when everything was consolidated into one national book. Two editions are published annually — the main one in November and a summer supplement in May. The rest you've got to piece together for yourself, which isn't easy. Much of the book is written in some sort ofVenusian Morse code. In the 1991 edition, for example, after the entry for Charles Norton Adams (no relation), we find the following: Unn.Nrr.Srb.BtP.Evg.Myf.Ht.Cw." Goodness, you think, next time they ask the man for information they should untie the gag. But the letters are abbreviations for Charles's clubs. If we refer to the front of the book we learn that "Nrr" is the Newport Reading Room, "Srb" is the Spouting Rock Beach club, and "Unn" is either a typo or some place so exclusive that to have to ask about it is proof you don't belong there. Norton isn't listed in the 1994 book, possibly on account of being Dd.As.A.Doornl. In addition to the main listing, there are various special sections such as births, deaths and marriages. (In publications of this type one longs for a section called "indictments," but no such luck.) Some sections are completely mysterious. In the front of the summer edition, for example, is some thing called "Dilatory Domiciles." Dilatory in my book means "tending toward procrastination," which doesn't shed much light. One supposes that some editorial type was taking aim at "Temporary Residences" and missed. Equally puzzling, at least initially, is a section called "Married Maidens," a title I guessed was used in preference to "Former Virgins." On inspection, it turned out to be a cross-reference of women's married and maiden names. There's much in the Social Register to remind you that this isn't a book meant for thee and me. In the summer edition, for instance, we find the following note: "A listing of Yachts and Their Owners is included for the convenience of subscribers." I have a hard time imagining a social milieu in which I would need to have regular reference to the length, tonnage and builder of my friends' yachts. That said, there's something charming in knowing that Lawrence H. Motts "Ellen" (home port, Charlotte, Vermont) is 15 feet long with a beam of four and a half feet. Would that the same honesty had been applied to summer residences, all of which seem to have names like "The Pines." Come on, doesn't anybody live at "The Dump?" CECIL A D A M S

novembe r 22,1 99 5

"Judge Kroger does not possess the judicial temperament, integrity and veracity necessary to hold the office of Assistant Judge...Judge Kroger has made public allegations of wrongdoing knowing them to be false by clear and convincing evidence and she has committed perjury." That's the verdict of the other 27 assistant judges in Vermont. Great recommendation, "eh? One that Althea Kroger will no doubt include on her resume in the years ahead. Will somebody please call this lady a cab and get her out of here?

I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I

On Saturday the Vermont Association of County Judges unanimously gave Althea Kroger the boot. They demanded her resignation. Naturally she wasn't there to respond. Instead she had a press release distributed announcing she will not step down and fully intends to serve out the remaining three years of the term Chittenden County voters elected her to. This is turning into a very bad movie. It's not hard to imagine Althea as a little girl back in Chicago enthralled by the film The

Wizard of Oz. In her imag-

ination she identified closely with Dorothy, fighting against all odds to follow the Yellow Brick Road all the way to the Emerald City. Only problem is, Althea didn't grow up to be Dorothy after all. Instead she turned out to be the Wicked Witch of the West. And she cemented that role recently when she whipped out a Salvadoran whistle given to her by her husband Joe, the St. Mike's professor of religion, and blew it loudly in the midst of a meeting with County Clerk Diane Lavallee and Assistant Judge Elizabeth Gretkowski. She said she did so "to ward off evil spirits." What next? Will Althea bite off the head of a chicken? At this point it appears Althea has a chronic case of victimitis. Privately, many of her former colleagues are expressing concern for her health and well-being. She's been behaving like a person in a burning building who can't smell smoke. The unfortunate expectation is, come winter, she'll march into the legislature like Joan of Arc and lobby for her innocence to the bitter end. It's a train wreck nobody wants to witness. Althea once had her sights set on statewide office — attorney general, even governor. She got a masters from U V M in political science and then went on to Vermont Law School. Fortunately she never had to keep a day job outside of politics. Eric Benson, executive director of the judges' association, will "neither confirm nor deny" it, but you can bet the mortgage that they've filed complaints against Althea with both the Judicial Conduct Board, which investigates judges, and the Professional Conduct Board (PCB) which investigates lawyers. Althea is facing impeachment by the Legislature and disbarment by the PCB for lying under oath. The lie was her under-oath denial of secretly tape recording conversations, other than the one time she got caught red-handed with a rolling tape recorder in her purse at a county Bench/Bar Committee meeting.

I I I I I I I

L r r r r r . novembe r 22,1 995

"Women State Legislators," Althea argued that women are not only capable of being effective politicians, she went so far as to declare "women legislators are superior." She cited research that indicated women are "better behaved and emotionally superior," are "more conscientious and hard-working," and are "more honest and less corrupt" than their male counterparts. Yup. Lobbyist Competition — Burlington Mayor Peter Clavelle is deciding this week which of three lobbying firms he'll hire to rep resent the state's largest city in the next two legislative sessions. Well, not exactly represent the city, but rather represent the Clavelle administration. Sure, he's got the SelfRighteous Brothers and eight other Burlington House members and the Vermont League of Cities and Towns, but there's something special about having your own hired gun. The envelope, please! Kimbell & Sherman — Ah, yes, Steve

and Bob — the Vermont Magazine coverboys. According to their proposal, "Kimbell & Sherman has an in-depth, working knowledge of the Vermont press corps and how it operates." Wow! "All staff members of Kimbell & Sherman will be available to work on the City's issues." The price tag — $75,000 per year for two years. Wouldn't it be a laugh if the state's only Progressive mayor jumped in the sack with the outfit that also represents Hydro Quebec, Philip Morris, A T & T and Wal-Mart and tried to bring casino gambling to Vermont? Place your bets, folks. Vermont Legislative Services —That's the outfit run by former Sen. Tom Crowley and former House Speaker Ralph Wright. Yeah, sure, they've got some baggage, but they've also got great experience. One of their partners, Bob Anderson, was the lawyer for Club Fantasy. So? Some of Clavelle's proposals — like raising the state income tax — are considered pure fantasy anyway. The price is right — $17,500 per session for two years. Michael Sirotkin/John Shullenberger — Compared to the other two firms, these are the guys with the white hats. Their clients include the Council of Vermont Elders, the American Cancer Society and the Vermont State Labor Council. Their price — $5000 per month during the session. Plus City Constable Jessica Oski used to work for Sirotkin. What's your guess on a winner here? Freudian Slip? — USA Today reported Tuesday, "Democratic Lt. Gov. Barbara Snelling is challenging Republican Gov. [Howard] Dean in '96." Political Slip? — Within hours of Babs' announcement Monday, Steve Howard, the brand-new chair of the Vermont Democratic Party, hit the fax machine with "Howard Blasts Snelling Record." L'il Steve Blunder quoted himself as saying, "Barbara Snelling has tainted the legislative session at a critical moment in our state's history. She has been campaigning rather than leading for the entire time she has served as Lieutenant Governor. This is just another example of her squandering the potential of our State Senate in order to further her blind political ambition." Ah, speaking of blind political ambition, Stevie, chill out, will ya? The election's a year away. And if you have a dictionary handy, look up "hyperbole." •

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they were abandoning English for environmental studies," J a y Parini wrote in a story last month about growing academic interest in the natural world and its literary spinoff, ecocriticism. "Ecocritics are rediscovering early writers, re-reading the classics from a "green' perspective," the novelist writes. "Perhaps there is something new under the sun, and it is the sun itself" Like hell, Jonathan Yardley countered last week in The Washington

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PEARL SLAM: There are plenty of bars in Burlington. But stage space is scarce — any heated, rent-free room with electrical outlets ranks as a "venue." Robert Toms is solving that problem by giving his downstairs bar over to the occasional theater production. "You really feel like you are in a litde shoebox theater in Manhattan," he says of 135 Pearl, which has hosted some of the gutsiest theater in Burlington this year: The Dutchman, and Answers.

M a m e t - m a d e Speed the Plow

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moves in the first

week of December. Nothing compares, of course, with Toms' real-life drama. T h e local gay press is calling him a traitor for transforming the only gay bar in Vermont into what he describes as an "incredibly progressive" club for "heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, transvestites, drag queens, Asians, Latinos, Afro-Americans, J e w s . . . " And actors.

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iN BRIEF: No mention of David Archer in new monthly newsletter from Burlington C i t y Arts. No sign of him in Vermont District Court earlier this week, either. T h e scheduled hearing was delayed, to allow for more investigation of the grand larceny charge brought against the former manager of Memorial Best of Acid J a z z

Auditorium. Stage tech Alan C a m p b e l l has been hired by C i t y

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THEPHARCYDE

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Flynn Theatre and C l u b Toast. "They had a musical all week long and we didn't have any problems," says Toast master Dennis W y g m a n s . After much discussion about sound leakage between buildings, the problem appears to be resolved — thanks to a freshly-insulated roof, a new exterior wall and a so-called "vibration-isolating device." Intriguing. "I sleep a lot better now," W y g m a n s says of the six-month stress test. "Even C l u b

Pharcyde

Fantasy's ordeal was shorter than t h a t " , . . T h e living section of The Burlington

Free Press is still down an arts writer. Melissa

Garrido came and went without filing a single story. Called back to Florida for a family emergency, her starting date has been pushed back to post-First Night. Perhaps its time to consider a local hire for the dreaded art beat?...Phish is still reeling in phabulous press coverage. T h e latest spread — in Spin — pegs Box

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SEVEN

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DAYS

•

november

ZZ,199

<c •

was By Jeff Elliott

here is nothing like Thanksgiving dinner. Our spirits rise as the mouth-watering smell of roasting turkey wafts through the house, invoking happy memories of Thanksgivings past. As we gather around the table with our family and dear friends, a sense of communion fills us as we toast our health and fortune with glasses of fine wine, then joyously and gratefully partake of our meal. That is w h y this year, and every year for the rest of my life, I will spend Thanksgiving by myself at McDonald's, eating hamburgers next to forlorn strangers who talk to themselves and swat at invisible black bats circling their heads. Let me explain. "You know," Sylvia mused on a lazy Sunday last autumn, "it would be nice to have Thanksgiving at our house this year." I yawned as I put down the newspaper. "Fine by me. W h o do you want to invite?" Together, we cobbled a list: "There's your parents, my parents..." "...Your brother and his girlfriend..." " . . . D o r i s and E d . . . " In a few short minutes, the guest list had grown to 26 names, later revised to 28 after my friend Keesler said he would be bringing along his house guests. A sit-down dinner for 28 guests requires planning. Tables, dishes and other stuff must be rented or borrowed. Responsibilities must also be delegated: Some guests are to bring wine, while others prepare side dishes. It was decided that my job would be the turkey. "Let's see," I muttered to myself, pecking at a calculator. 'Allow one and a half pounds per g u e s t . . . 2 8 times 1.5...Okay, I'll need to order a 4 2 - p o u n d turkey. Aw heck, let's make it 45 pounds; folks always like to take home leftovers." I called the store that had advertised "organic" turkeys and placed my order. T h e clerk was so nice; she even had her supervisor confirm the size I wanted. The day before Thanksgiving was devoted to errands, including picking up the turkey. Apparently nobody wanted inorganic turkeys that year: T h e store was filled with grumbling customers, swarming before the counter like angry bees. I joined the line and watched as the workers shuttled poultry from freezer to counter. Much, much later it was my turn, and I gave my name to a frazzled young w o m a n . She disappeared into the huge frozenfood locker at the back of the store — the font from which all turkeys flow. Minutes passed. Behind me, the ever-growing line of people shuffled impatiently. Then, from the swirling mist of the freezer stepped one of the largest men I have ever seen, six feet tall and easily the same distance around. In his arms he carried a turkey-thing the size of a five-yearold child. A hush fell over the surly mob. Good Lord, I shuddered, where did they get this monster? Jurassic Park? He dropped it on the countertop, slightly denting the stainless steel. "Forty-five-point-two pounds," he grunted. "Good luck." W i t h that, he turned and lumbered back to the land of the frost giants.

"How^are you going to cook that?" asked the w o m a n behind me. "Well, in the oven, I suppose," I replied kindly, wondering if it was a trick question. "But.. . b u t . . . " she stammered on while they bagged m y purchase. Far too large for the flimsy plastic bags that the other turkeys had left in, the behemoth was wrestled by two women into nylon webbing, the same sort of net used to load cargo ships. T h e mesh dug into m y fingers as I dragged the creature back to the car. Swinging the block of turkey-ice -like a pendulum, I kept just enough m o m e n t u m to lurch across the parking lot. Already, I had come to regard the beast more as a deadly weapon than as food. There should be a federally mandated five-day "cooling-off" period before citizens are allowed to handle something of this size. After carefully setting the turkey on m y kitchen november

22,1995

counter — which had seemed so roomy the night before while mincing garlic — I fell into a chair, exhausted, and stared at the thing. Other than a dog, there had never been an animal this large in m y house. How long would it take to cook this monster, anyway? I grabbed the calculator. Twenty minutes per pound, plus another half hour for stuffing... .45 pounds divided by 3 . . . m y God, that's over 15 hours! I had to start cooking at 3 a.m.! And that's after it's thawed! I lunged for the phone and dialed Sylvias office. "Call your parents; call everyone. Tell them we won't be eating until midnight." As she calmed me down, I tried to wedge the giant into the sink to thaw. It was far too large: Only the top of the headless corpse fit, the fat legs sticking up in the air like frozen turkey-sicles. T h e bathtub! Carrying the dripping bird in my arms, I waddled through the house toward the bathroom. That's where Sylvia later found me: sitting on the edge of the tub, lovingly scrubbing the creature's overblown backside with tepid water. Somehow, it thawed and appeared in the oven in the middle of the night. I am not exactly clear how this happened; I have only vague and groggy memories of regularly changing the bathwater, preparing the stuffing, then shoveling the glop into the turkey's gaping maw. ur first guest appeared late that afternoon. "I was too busy to make my famous corn pudding," Aunt Hattie apologized, "so I brought wine instead. Soon it became apparent that all our other guests also had had busy days: The table held a bowl of mixed nuts, a Beenie-Weenie casserole and 50 bottles of wine. Sylvia answered the door when Keesler and his house guests rang the bell, the last to arrive. Except for their differently colored jackets, Keesler's friends looked almost identical, with olive complexions and black, scrubby mustaches. "I am meeting you very pleased," one of them announced in a thick, unidentifiable accent. "Do you have guns?" "I am meeting you very pleased also," Sylvia answered diplomatically, "No." Pulling me aside in the kitchen, she whispered nervously, "They asked if we had guns." I found Keesler in the crowded and noisy living room, ^ grazing in the nut bowl. He ^ explained: "They celebrate hoi- g 1/1 idays by shooting guns in the air. Everybody does over there." g

"But where's 'there'?" I S asked. " W h a t country are they £ from?" "I'm not really sure; I think it's near Poland or Greece. One of those countries that broke away diplomatically from the Soviet Union. I met them when I was in

Continued

on page

SEVEN DAYS

too busy to make

my famous corn pudding, Aunt Hattie apologized, so I brought

wine

instead.'

Soon

it b e c a m e a p p a r e n t

that all our other euests

a l S O had had busy days: The table

ties of

wine. 10

page

WEDNESDAY

•

HUFFY, GUPPY BOY, PHOOKA (alt rock, hardcore), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $3/5. COMEDY, ANNE'S BAND (funk, soul), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. No cover. CRAZY WOLF (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE ACOUSTIC JAM, Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. WILD BRANCH (bluegrass), Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. TODD FITCH (acoustic), Thrush Tavern, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover.

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CULTURE, CHANNEL TWO DUB BAND (reggae), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $10. CHIN HO! (alt ON THE PROWL John Lackard's four-piece blues squat squad rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $4. ilphturns up up the volume, Chicago style. The Randolph DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Samsara, 9 p.m. based band nd appears both both Saturday and Wednesday at No cover. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar's, Alley Cats in Burlington 9 p.m. No cover. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. WALT ELMORE & ALL THAT JAZZ, Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 8:30 p.m. No cover. CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. No cover. MELODIKA (instrumental eclectic), Pyralisk, Montpelier, 8:30 p.m. $7. ALBERT OTIS BLUES BAND, Charlie-O's, Middlebury, 9 p.m. No cover. Donations.

THE PANTS, THIN LIZARD DAWN (alt rock, hardcore), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $3/5. '80s DANCE PARTY WITH DJ CRAIG MITCHELL, Club Metronome, 9 p.m., $3. BUBBLE, WATER (dark bluegrass), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectars, 9 p.m. No cover. ELLEN POWELL & COMPANY (jazz),Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 8:30 p.m. No cover. RUN FOR COVER (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. THE JOHN LACKARD BLUES BAND (blues), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. IRISH JAM, Speeder & Earl's, 2 p.m. No cover. SLUSH, JESUS NUT, 7 YEARS WAR, SEPERATE SOCIETY (hardcore), Pyralisk, Montpelier, 8:30 p.m. $6. ROCKIN' DADDIES (blues, rock), Charlie-O's, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover. ^

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SUNDAY

PATTI CASEY, BOB GAGNON, MATT MCGIBNEY (folk), City Market, 11 a.m. No cover. ABAIR BROTHERS (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. JALAPENO BROTHERS (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. SUNDAY MASS WITH REV. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. ^ MONDAY • STARLIGHT CONSPIRACY, LINDY PEAR, SOUP SANDWICH, ME JANE (alt rock, hardcore), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. JALAPENO BROTHERS (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE WITH JOHN DREW PETERSEN, Java Blues, 7 p.m. No cover. WOMEN'S NIGHT Last Elm Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations. DAVE & THE ALLEY CATS (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. ^

W I N T E R W E A R

SATURDAY

TUESDAY

VIPERHOUSE (acid jazz, funk), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. No cover. PARIMA JAZZ BAND, Parima Thai Restaurant, 8 p.m. No cover. HAP (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. DAVE KELLER (blues), Cactus Cafe, 7:30 p.m. No cover. OPEN POETRY READING, Last Elm Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations. BAD NEIGHBORS (blues), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. SNEAKERS JAZZ BAND, Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. ^

WEDNESDAY

DAS EFX , GROUP HOME (rap), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $10. COMEDY, ANNE'S BAND (funk, soul - final gig!), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. No cover. HANNIBAL & AGOSTI (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE ACOUSTIC JAM, Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. NATO (unplugged rock), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. No cover. JOHN LACKARD BLUES BAND (blues), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. No cover. REFLEX (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. DANNY COANE & HIS GRASSY KNOLL BOYS (bluegrass), Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. TIM CAIRA (acoustic), Thrush Tavern, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover.

Club listings compiled by Nicole Curvin. All clubs in Burlington unless otherwise noted.

SEVEN DAYS

november

2 2 . 1 99 5

F LINDY

PEAR,

LINDY

PEAR

LY NN

l U III) FRIDAY, D E C E M B E R

(self-released cassette) — Guitarist Bob Higgins (late of hover) says his new band's name has absolutely no significance or cryptic meaning. Depite that minor disappointment, I find the name oddly appropriate for this quartet of alt-pop rockers. Dunno why, but then, w h o cares? Lindy Pear — its other members are vocalist/guitarist Craig Gurwich, drummer Dan Petit and bassist Glenn Severance — offer up five all-weather, four-wheel-drive originals on this debut cassette recorded at Low Tech. T h e tunes are energetic and relentlessly up-tempo, a little jangly and medium-melodic — like a lot of modern power popsters subliminally influenced by R.E.M. and Bob Mould. Gurwich's voice matches the assertiveness of Higgins' guitar work, and the whole unit is Latex-tight, considering they've sweated toute ensemble only since last spring. The downside is, the songs sound a lot alike. Both "Wilhelm" and "Look the Other Way," though, may suggest things to come: cool guitar layerings, riskier drumming, impassioned harmonies — a better mousetrap altogether. Lindy Pear play Metronome next Monday, and open for Velocity Girl at Toast December 3.

A T

B P M

"Funny, poignant, wickedly clever... nothing less than sensational." ( L o s ANGELES DAILY NEWS)

A cappella s i n g i n g w i t h a twist: A blend o f doo-wop, scat, Broadway, soul, a n d rock, done w i t h a m a z i n g vocal agility a n d an offbeat sense of humor. Seven albums,

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the direction and lyrical stylings of vocalist Kevin Martin, this quartet favors arena-friendly hard rock, both fiery and grindy. Even at dirge tempo, such as the demi-ballad "Drowned," Candlebox knows the power of dynamics, and manages to contain a taut energy in every note. The effect is a pre-orgasmic tension that occasionally explodes in a most satisfying way. (Maybe why their label boss, Madonna, likes 'em?) But the 'box can churn out a slow, angst-filled generational anthem, like the CD's title song, and hones an arty edge on the feedbackish "Vulgar" and the mood-drenched "Understanding." Lyrically, Lucy is a sensitive-guy kind of thing — Martin even writes about getting close to his dad — but is laden with enough guitar pyrotechnics to please both metal heads and moshers. Candlebox, with Detroit rockers Sponge, light fires at SUNY-Plattsburgh this Friday. Want info

to g e t reviewed

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t o Sound

i n SEVEN DAYS? Advice,

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Continued

from

page

calendar

misc en ylm Serious cookware - Frivolous gifts

Europe on m y vacation. T h e y showed up last month and won't leave. Hey, you've got a spare bedroom maybe?" "No," I replied quickly.

96 State Street - Suite 2 •

J{appy

OH: ofi

did not notice his friends again until I found one peeking into the oven. " W h a t is this animal?" His face paled when I showed him the picture on the box of stuffing mix. "In my country, we have such creatures in a zoo," he announced. He wandered away, shaking his head sadly. From the living room, I heard the sound of breaking glass, followed by boisterous laughter. "What's going on?" I asked Sylvia, as she dashed past me for the mop. "Aunt Hattie was holding her wine glass in her mouth and belly-dancing. Belly-jiggling, actually. Anyway, her dentures fell out. Is that turkey done yet? Everybody's plowed."

Jays

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SEVEN DAYS

"I dunno — what do you think?" I asked, poking at the mountain of turkey flesh. "Crank the oven up higher," she suggested, spinning the dial to 550. Things were not going well. Two hours past dinnertime, the turkey was still blush-pink and the last dregs of wine had been poured and guzzled. Dispatched with a fistful of dollars collected from our happy guests, Keesler and his friends left to buy more. T h e y returned with a dozen bottles of tequila. One of his pals grinned and said, "Is American drink, yes? Sylvia turned to me angrily. "That does it — we're eating whether the turkey's done or _» not. "But if it's not cooked, they could get sick," I protested. "They're so pickled that a rattlesnake wouldn't hurt 'em," Sylvia retorted. "Let's eat." So we gathered around the table with our woozy family and dear drunken friends, toasting our good health and fortune with b r i m m i n g wine glasses of tequila, our plates heaped with semi-raw poultry and soggy stuffing. M y arm was sore from 15 hours of basting and m y head ached from lack of sleep. Still, I thought gratefully, this Thanksgiving has turned out okay, after all. At least, that's what I believed until the fistfight began. • november

ZZ,199

THREE M E N & O H new

cojfeeshop

emember how you felt when you found out the truth about Santa? Well, get ready for another illusionbuster: T h a t slice of bread hanging at North and North Champlain Streets in Burlington is not a slice of bread. It was, reveals Rich Child, once part of the logo for Moore Paint, installed when the corner building to which the oversized sign is attached was a paint store back in the '50s. But if passersby want to cling nostalgically to their bread delusion, at least they don't have to look at a ramshackle, empty storefront anymore. T h e y can sip and click in a new coffeecomputer hang-out called Cafe No No.

Child, a 25-year resident of Burlington and former social worker and IBMer, is one-third of the building's new ownership. The other two are builderdeveloper Ken Axelson and recent New York transplant Carl Takakjian. This triumverate has happily confused the bread/paint-can issue by marbling the reclaimed sign with red and brown — just like peanut butter and jelly — behind their new establishment's name. T h e moniker may sound a

the

Old

North

End

blends

beams

North End 'hood that boasts a Vietnamese market across the street and an upcoming artists' coop alongside rows of elderly working-class homes. "This is a story about three men in a collaborative effort to bring some quality to our own lives and the neighborhood we live in," says Axelson. "It's been a magical experience for all of us."

wee bit salacious, especially when Axelson quips, "Everybody needs a little no-no in their lives." But its reference, of course, is a north-country play on SoHo. And its special geography is a changing Old

Cafe No No isn't really a cafe, at least not in the usual sense. Sure, it's a coffeeshop that also serves bagels and muffins — these baked by a neighbor who also helped paint the walls — and may soon step up to crock-pot soups. "But we don't want to go into the restaurant business," protests

" N O " M E N Ken Axelson, Carl Takakjian and Rich Child

Takakjian, who manages the goings on. "We

Peace & Justice Store

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Dimitri's style of cuisine is eclectic American w ith Asian and Southwestern influences. Trained in New York City at "The NoHo Star," he was the Executive Chef at "Rosette," the fine restaurant in Bend, Oregon, and he has worked in several Adirondack resorts. To experience Dimitri's cuisine, we would suggest any of his seafood entrees or his roasted rack of lamb.

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No question, the space is as welcoming as a bear-hug. T h e renovations — done by the new owners themselves — enhance the building's century-old architectural features, and the combination of warm wall colors and well-placed Heartstone heaters make the place aesthetically and literally cozy — even though the front room alone is nearly 1 0 0 0 square feet. Vivaldi wafts through the air. Mismatched furnishings — all found on North Street secondhand shops, Takakjian notes — give the place a comfy, kitschy, lived-in look. And if the hole in the restroom wall, soon to frame a stained-glass window, is a bit revealing of intimate bodily functions, well, there's another facility — private and handi-

NOT

CULTURE

as our new Executive Chef

Street Bakery Project, and a steady stream of customers who plop down with their java to play cribbage, knit, read — maybe from one of a tall stack of Wired magazines — or just hang out and chat. "People are constantly coming in wanting to rent the space," says Takakjian, who plans to offer classical music appreciation classes himself. "Neighbors are coming in saying, 'now I can meet m y neighbors.'"

We Can PACK and SHIP just about ANYTHING.

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Polston

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is pleased to publicaly welcome

novembe r

"Since opening our doors [November 17], it's become obvious that some people in this neighborhood don't have living rooms," says Child, who lives upstairs from the cafe. "That aspect shouldn't interfere with the Internet focus." Takakjian adds that Cafe No No is meant to be, more than anything, "a cultural center for the community." It has already hosted live music and a contra dance, a cast party for the Rose

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want to have fun." Part of the fun — and its claim to fame — is that Cafe No No is about to become a public-access Internet site, with as m a n y as 30 computers and lessons on how to get from here to cyberspace. T h e partners got the idea of a caffeinated computer joint from Child's son Charles, an 18-year-old M t . Mansfield high school student who quickly turned on his elders to the wonders of worldwide webbing. Meanwhile, though, they've been fostering communication of a homier kind: W i t h its paint barely dry, Cafe No No has turned into the neighborhood's virtual — and actual — living room. An allages, everybody's-welcome, nosmoking, television-free sort of living room.

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CONTACT IMPROV: Gravity plays a crucial role in a kinetic free-for-all. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7:15 p.m. $1. Info, 860-3674.

kids STAR SHOW: Children and adults learn to identify fall constellations. Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 1 p.m. $3.50/ 4.50. Register, 878-8687.

Happy

IIIIP""

Thanksgiving

Seven Days

from

PANCAKE BLOOD DRIVE; Exchange a pint of blood for a free pancake breakfast. Red Cross, Blair Park, Williston, 7:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 658-6400. CHRISTMAS O R f H E MARKETPLACE: Santa Clans joins the Snow Queen for the annual illumination of the Church Street Marketplace at 4&C 7 p.m. Santa shows at 10 a.m. Horse-drawn carriages run from noon to 4 p.m. Church Street Marketplace, Burlington. Free. Info, 863-1648. OUTRIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual and "questioning" youth are invited to an ongoing supportgroup meeting. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9677. SENIOR SWIM: Folks over 50 exercise in an 86-degree pool. YMCA, Burlington, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9622.

Saturday d a n c e

theater

'THE WATER TREE': Set in a tropical rainforest full of flying puppets, this play about global deforestation combines arts, ecology and social activism. Barre Opera House, 3 & 7 p.m. $12. Info, 229-9408. 'THE MOUSETRAP': The Third Branch Players stage the Agatha Christie classic. Chandler Music HaJl, Randolph, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 728-9878.

OPEN STUDIO: The blown glass creations of Burlington artist Alan Goldfarb have been exhibited at the Smithsonian. Watch him create contemporary designs with traditional skills. Burlington, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 863-6458.

w o r d s ABIGAIL STONE READING: Food meets philosophy in Recipes From the Dump. The author celebrates the publican tion of her first novel at Dearleap Books, Bristol, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

kids

SCIENCE PROGRAM: Kids let their imaginations run wild at a design-yourown-animal session. Discovery Museum,

'THE NUTCRACKER': The Albany Berkshire Ballet brings sugarplums and Christmas magic to the Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 3 & 7:30 p.m. $12-25.50. Info, 863-5966. CONTRA DANCE: Eric Hollman calls for Andrea Hag, Luc La Vallee, Lila Feingold and Doug Creighton. Edmunds School Cafeteria, Burlington, 8 p.m. $5. Lessons begin at 7:30 p.m. A potluck starts at 6:15 p.m. A swing dance workshop gets rolling at 4:30 p.m. Info, 865-9363.

t h e a t e r 'THE MOUSETRAP': See November 24.

OPEN STUDIO: See November 24.

crds

TRAIN SIGNING: Robert Jones signs copies of his latest history book about the Central Vermont Railway. Vermont Book Shop, Middlebury, 10 a.m. - noon. Free. Info, 388-2061. ,

tds

STAR SHOW: See November 22. STORY TIME: Kids over three listen up at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

WOMEN'S FESTIVAL OF CRAFTS: Woman-made crafts are offered, as well as a 12-by-12 display of the AIDS memorial quilt. Burlington City Hall, 1 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 863-8958. CARRIAGE RIDES: Horse-drawn carriages give rides on the Church Street Marketph^-Burlington, noon to 4 p.m. Free. Info, 863-1648. BIRD PROGRAM: Carving demos, museum tours anc vide avian education Vermont Museum, - 4 p.m $3.50. Info, ANTIQUE SHOW: £ niture; glass, accessor benefit the Addison County Humane Society. Main Event, Middlebury, 10 a . m . - 4 p.m. $3. Info, 388-1443. • ARTIST SESSION: Artists and photographers get a new angle on their art with a live model. 150 Elm St., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-5253.

Kenyon, Philip Booth and other post-Frost poets are the topic of a discussion led by Judith Chalmer. Kellogg Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338

kids

STORYTIMES: Three-and-a-half- to five-year-olds hear stories at the South Burlington Library at 9:30 a.m. Those four through six listen up at 3:30 p.m. Free. Register, 658-9010.

nicians show you how to prepare your boards. Skirack, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3313. TEEN HEALTH CI information, supplies, s c r » , v , . . „ B »..v. treatment for sexually-related problems^ Planned Parenthood, Jgf m Burlington, 4-7 p.m. § v :

ree. Info, 8636326.

etc

MOTHER SPEAKS: ^activist son died of AIDS, ne White speaks about £e at an interfaith service at St. Michael's Chapel, Colchester, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. SKI WAXING CLINIC: Professional waxing tech-

©Sunday dance

'THE NUTCRACKER': See November 25, 1 p.m. CARRIAGE RIDES: See November 25. ANTIQUE SHOW: See November 25, ' 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. ~ > , , . AIDS QUILTING BEE: Have you lost a loved one to AIDS? Quilt out your memories to add to the Names Project. Materials are provided at the costume shop, McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 1-5 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535.

monday

music

OPEN REHEARSAL: Women bring their vocal chords to a harmonious rehearsal of the Champlain Echoes. Knights of Columbus Hall, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 8646703.

ilm

WOMEN'S MOVIE NIGHT: Women watch feminist,flicks at the Last Elm Cafe, Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations. Info, 658-7454. POLI-SCI-FI FILMS: The left wing gets far flung in two films by Craig Baldwin, one of which is about U.S. intervention and space aliens in Latin America. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-3361.

w c

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POETRY IN NEW ENGLAND': The works of Maxine Kumin, Jane

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REIKI Q U i p p Experience healing energy at a free clinic. Spirit Dancer, Burlington^ 0 - 8 : 3 0 p m. Free, Inf

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music

HANDEL SOCIETY CONCERT: The college group sings Laud to the Birth the Lord— by Respighi — and John T a v e t ^ r ' s Magnificat. The audu-iu i-, invited to join in on carols in this "Celebration for the Season." Rollins Chapel, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H. 7 & 9 p.m. $7. Info, 603-646-2422. COMMUNITY BAND PRACTICE: Musicians of all levels rehearse with the Waterbury Community Band. Waterbury Cortjiegational Church, 7 j u i u f a f c . : Info/244-6352. f " - • .'

music

ELECTRONIC CONCERT: The music department plugs in at the UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3040.

iv c r a s sJSjf

theater

OPEN POETRY READING: Bards banter at the Last Elm Cafe, Burlington,

Kids in fourth, fifth and sixth grades read and discuss

'TOGETHER READ':

parents. S. Burlington f Library, 6:30-7:30 p.m. Free. Register, 658-9010. STORY TIME: Listen at Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537. H O U R . Kids

Bk •k H

between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 I a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, WL 893-4644.

Pj^Kp

kids

Time for Andrew with their

i B M l [I J I f l l S n V H • V n ^ I ^ P

'SPEED THE PLOW': Rachel Beddoe, Al Salxman and Dennis McSorley perfom in this morality play with a t Mametian twist. Alumni Auditorium, Champlain College, Burlington, 8 p.m. $6-15. Info, 660-0869

e tc

CREDIT FO& LIFE

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WORK EXPERIENCE': You may be closer to matriculaf P tion than you think. Find out the W hows and whys of earning real-life V college credit at Room 201, McAuley 1 Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, 7-9 ' p.m. Free. Register, 800-639-8885.

BASIC DATABASE: Wednesday, November 29, 5-7 p.m. Department of Training & Employment, Burlington. Free to Old North End residents. Register, 860-4057. Learn

computerized bookkeeping.

SWING WORKSHOP: Saturday, November 25, 4:30-6:15 p.m. . ~ Edmunds School Cafeteria, Burlington. $5. Info, 865-9363. Learn

simple and combination steps, lead and follow techniques, and tips for cool styling.

INTERDYNAMIC DRUM & DANCE: Wednesdays, PanAshe Cultural Center, Montpelier. 6-8 p.m.

$8. Info, 223-9560. Explore the rela-

'ANNE OF GREEN GABLES': Artspower, one of the leading touring theater companies for youngsters, brings the classic novel to life. The performance is geared for kids in grades three through six. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, noon. $5. Info, 863-5966. STORY TIME: Babies and toddlers up to two-and-a-half hear tales. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 10:30-10:55 or 1111:25 a.m. Free/Info, 865-7216.

etc HOLOCAUST POETfcY & MUSIC: An evening of poetry and song benefits One by One — an organization created by people whose lives have been deeply affected by the Holocaust. Ohavi Zedek, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $5- Info, 864-

tionship between dance and drumming.

'KIDS ON THE MOVE': Wednesdays, PanAshe Cultural Center, Montpelier. 3-3;45 p.m. $8.

Info, 223-9560. Camomilla

dance and drumming.

teaches

AFRICAN DANCE: Wednesdays, 5:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington. $8. Info, 862-6727.

lirpgtdii ^SChoi urlington

Padma Gordon teaches the moves with help from the Jeh Kulu Drum Ensemble. MODERN-JAZZ DANCE: Intermediate/advanced adults, Wednesdays 6:30 p.m. Olympiad, S. Burlington, $9. Info, 985-5216. Jane

Selzer leads an ongoing class.

0218.

NATIVE AMERICAN TALK: Mohawk Bruce Kelly returned to the reservation last year after several years of living in the Burlington area. He discusses the integration of Native Americans into mainstream society at the Vermont Room, St. Michael's College, Colchester, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535. TRANSPORTATION MEETING: The Metropolitan Planning Organization takes input on its three-year, comprehensive transportation plan. Regional Planning Office. Essex Junction, 3 P m Free. Info, 658-3004. SENIOR GATHERING: Elders meet for coffee and conversation. Wheeler School, Burlington, 8:15-10:15 a.m. Free. Info, 8>5-0360.

meets ecolc^U&mt. Water Txee,a puppet pLiy for family audideforestation. Visit tin rainforest Fridayjpfi?. the Barre Opera House.

MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambala Center. Free. Info, 658-

6795. Non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist practices are taught.

TELEVISION: Tuesday, November 28, 6:30 p.m. Channel 17, Burlington. Free. Info, 862-3966. A video-

making class discusses shapes our world.

LIS! YOUR CLASS: Follow the format, including a five to 15 word decriptive sentence. Hail or walk it in, with $5 for one week or $15 for a month, by the Thursday before publication.

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Every weekday, Louie Manno and Jim Condon host Vermont's most daring morning show. And they have Mark Johnson follow them with his own show at 9 a.m. You'll agree that Mark does a tremendous job! Vermont's News & Talk Station

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N o w IN B O T T L E S , TOO!

Vermont Symphony with Organist Anthony Newman at the Flynn Dec. 2 Anthony Newman Performs Classic Masterpieces for Organ and Orchestra Saturday, December 2 at 8 pm Kate Tamarkin, Conductor Anthony N e w m a n , Organist Handel: "The C u c k o o and the Nightingale" Schubert: S y m p h o n y No. 5 Wagner: Siegfried Idyll Poulenc: Concerto for Organ, Strings and Timpani T I C K E T S A V A I L A B L E from the V S O TicketLine (864-5741) or from the Flynn B o x Office (86-FLYNN).

CHARGE YOUR TICKETS BY PHONE— 864-5741

Join organist Anthony Newman for a demonstration of the unusual digital three-manual organ to be used for this performance in the Flynn at 6:30pm hosted by V P R ' s Walter Parker. Free to ticket holders. Radisson Hotel Burfngton

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J_ he virtuoso musicianship of Ivers' fiddle and Keane's accordian (both AllIreland champions several times) in combination with O'Connell's warm vocals and tasteful guitar playing, weaves an exciting musical tapestry to celebrate the season."

Music by Aengus Jimmy Keane, Eileen Ivers. and Robbie O'Connell

December 7 at 8:00p.m. Ira Allen Chapel $5.00 (children under 12) ^ 575.00 ^

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ithout a Cold War, what's a licensed-to-kill British spy gonna do? This latest 007 flick may in fact be a want ad: New Diabolical Arch-Nemesis Bad Guy Organization Heeded for Floundering James Bond Franchise. Ex-KGB and Russian mafia need not apply." * The silver lining to this partly-cloudy movie is newBond-on-the-block Pierce Brosnan, who, happily, makes a svelte, dapper and not-toosmirky Bond. He looks as confident heaving machine guns and flooring Aston Martins as he does curling his lips around the requisite vodka martini or beautiful bimbo. Still, all the martinis in Monte Carlo couldn't distract the audience from a plot as splintered as the old Soviet Republic. The story — involving double-dealing Ruskie lowlifes now converted to capitalism, some sort of electromagnetic space weapon, and a plot to basically steal all of England's money — is silly enough to be in a Bond film, yet doesn't have the oomph provided by evil, sophisticated enemies of yore like the U.S.S.R. or S.P.E.C.T.R.E. or SMERSH. So it just kind of wanders around, finding bad guys where it can. Director Martin Campbell shoots big, fine action sequences that look like anything you've ever seen in a Die Hard movie. But he's true to the basic Bond formula, opening with a heart-thumping action scene designed to scare the daylights out of acrophobics that's played for equal parts gasps and laughs. It then cuts away to credits accompanied by

FEVER QUILTS

Harlan

Scorupco

duck for cover in Goldeneye

slithering naked girls and a forgettable song by Tina Turner. Slithering naked girls aside, the movie makes a concerted effort to bring its female characters into the '90s. Bond's boss, played by Judi Dench, is not only a woman, but a formidable woman who tells Bond he's "a s6rist, misogynist dinosaur" and "a relic of the Cold War." Bond, of course, doesn't try to argue the point. The indispensable assistant, Moneypenny, accuses a leering Bond of sexual harassment, then dares him to "make good on [his] innuendoes." Also, Bond's beautiful girlfriend, played by model Izabella Scorupco, is a Russian computer programmer geek who remains modestly dressed throughout. After she survives a wrong place, wrong time scenario — without the help of Bond or any other man — the plot proceeds to take more advantage of her brains than her body. She is forever hopping in front of computers and signing on to the Internet to access classified bad-guy information. Still, for all the assertiveness training the Bond females seem to have undergone, the effort feels cursory when there's still this sort of exchange: Bond babe: "How can you be so cold?" Bond: "It's what keeps me alive." Bond babe: "No, it's what keeps you alone." What keeps the audience from running out of the theater is the real question. The only woman who seems to be enjoying herself is named — in the fabulously tacky tradi-

tion of predecessors like Pussy Galore — Xenia Onatopp. Get it? She's an evil, irresistible black-widow type, played with maniacal glee by Famke Janssen, who squeezes her men to death after sex and moans ecstatically after mowing people down with machine guns. A truly modern girl. Granted, Bond films are all about masculine kitsch — political correctness be damned. But even kitsch must be updated. And though Bond's cars and clothes are still as cool as his 'tude, the simple fact remains that what Sean Connery pulled off three decades ago would land him in court today. For Bond, the times they have achanged — but into what? When a CIA operative calls our James a "stiff-assed Brit," one can't help but ponder if anyone would have dared to call Sean Connery's Bond the same. Another insurmountable distraction is that the classic old theme music has been mutated into a darker, rumbling, more atmospheric version. It's not bad, but no match for the real thing. The same could be said about Goldeneye as compared

to, say, Goldfinger.

For Bond

fans, this will be a satisfactorily fun ride — with locales like the French Riviera, Cuba and St. Petersburg never looking more glossy or glamorous. But for anyone uninterested in what is basically a period piece, save your money for the next Die

Hard. • Goldeneye

at Cinema Showcase in South

SEVEN

playing 9 and

Cinemas

Burlington.

DAYS

Vermont Symphony Orchestra Holiday Pops • December 9 at the Flynn

BRING THE WHOLE FAMILY!

i .ID V PC J DAY 1 POPS O P S * HC i * HOLIDA .IDAY P O P S i PS * HOLIDAY OLIDAY P O P S * < POPS * HOLIDA HOLIDAY P O P S * h f P O P S * HOLIDAY Pv HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLl P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S LIDAY POPS * HOUDAY PO * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY .Y P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * Hv HOUDAY POPS * HOUDAY P O P S S * HOLIDAY P O P S * H O U D A Y Pv DAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOL. * HOLIDAY POPS * HOLIDAY P O P S * » O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY POP. JLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLID/ P S * HOLIDAY POPS * HOUDAY P O P S * HC -IDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY PC O P S * HOLIDAY POPS * HOUDAY P O P S * H O L AY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * \ iOUDAY POPS * HOUDAY POPS * HOLIDAY P O P S * i * H O U D A Y P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P C \Y P O P S * HOLIDAY POPS * HOUDAY P O P S * HOLIDA LIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * H O L , * HOUDAY POPS * HOUDAY POPS * HOUDAY P O P S * HOi O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S J D A Y P O P S * HOLIDAY POPS * HOUDAY P O P S * H O U D A Y PC HOLIDAY P O P S * HOLIDAY P O P S * H O U D A Y P O P S * H O L I D A J P S * HOUDAY P O P S * HOUDAY POPS * HOUDAY P O P S * HOUD> DLID; S * H 3 OPS \Y PC DAY I 'OPS * HOLIDAY P O P S * HO >OPS * HOLIDAY P O P S * HC

VSO HOUDAY POPS AT THE FLYNN Saturday, December 9 at 8pm, The Rynn Theatre Kate Tamarkin conducts the full VSO and members of its Chorus in a festive

Holiday Pops concert, including music for the season by Leroy Anderson, Tchaikovsky and many others, along with traditional favorites and an audience sing-along!

Tckets start at just $7, and are available from the VSO TtcketLine (864-5741) or from the Rynn Theatre Box Office (86-FLYNN).

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THREE MEN & A NEIGHBORHOOD Continued

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c a f e / b i s t r o Join the comedy juggling team of Waldo & Woodhead as they make their way through the Vermont countryside. Will they make it to the "Big Show" at the Flynn on time?

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Discover Woodbury College's Prevention and Community Development Program ana learn important SkillIs you can use at home, at work, or in your community.

December 4 5:30pm - 9pm Dinner will be served

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With its paint barely dry, Cafe No No has turned into the neighborhood's virtual - and actual - living room

CALLI-8OO-FOOLERY

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from

cap-accessible — across the room. Artistic touches abound in this cafe, from the owners' restorative handiwork to the small, brushy paintings contributed by Burlington muralist Tony Shull. A vibrant show of children's art dangles from molding just below the 14foot ceilings. Takakjian, a former administrator and fundraiser at the City University of New York, anticipates scheduling staggered biweekly exhibits for the cafe's three rooms. Given the number of artists in the community seeking wallspace, he ought to be booked up by the time

SEVEN

DAYS

The right education can change your life.

the cafe has its gala opening— with computers in place — on December 1 5. As for the technology, much of it's being donated, says Child. Burlington's TGF (formerly the Together Foundation) is the communications provider, and local 'net-heads want to, well, chip in. WKDR's Paul Ditman, who hosts a morning talk „ show called "Chip Chat," has offered tech support, as has cyberwhiz Matt Strauss at Rhombus and a University of Vermont prof. Computer businesses want to use the cafe as a showroom for their wares. Some people want to hold a study group for the semi-computer-literate, others to help individuals and businesses develop web pages. "We have the capability to hold those pages here," says Axelson. "You can have a cup of coffee and edit your page. People can get e-mail here." 'The fee? A modest five or so bucks an hour. The three GenWoodstockers who head up Cafe No No — only recently computer-literate themselves — are now talking multimedia capability and CD-ROM. They're proud and somewhat dazed that "we're tapping into the minds of the world," as Axelson puts it. And they're unabashedly tickled at the "kismet" that's brought them to this time and place together as the nexus between highand low-tech community. That place: North Champlain Street, Burlington, Vermont — and very soon, cafenono.com. •

660 tlm Streel • Montpelier, VT 05602

n o v e m b e r, 2 2 , 1 9 9 5

NO TROUBLE IN RIVER CITY

hen I was in high school I had a friend who knew the script and score of Music Man so well that one night, when the movie was on television, we put a paper bag over his head and watched while he recited and sang the entire musical on cue. We took the bag off during "Trouble in River City" for the full effect. If solo players go to such lengths to demonstrate their affection for this funny, gleeful story about a fast-talking salesman in a town full of stubborn Iowans, imagine the full-fledged Lyric production at the Flynn Theatre. Meredith Willson — the musical creator, who never repeated his success — catches the audience off guard in all the right ways. His show calls for an enthusiastic cast with

SEVEN DAYS The best selection of verts, nouns ami adjectives.

a good sense of irony to sell. what otherwise might be predictable. The story, of course, centers around Harold Hill, a salesman-con man who loves a challenge: selling band instruments and uniforms to children by stressing to their parents that youth will run amuck unless engaged in such wholesome pursuits. Since he isn't the

music school grad he claims to be, he can't let anyone actually play their instrument. His "think" system approach to music-making is the opposite of "hands-on." In short, he instructs children to think very hard about playing while he hightails it out of town. By play's end, this "think system" turns into a metaphor for something else entirely. It creates some very well-behaved sexual tension between Hill and his nemesis, Marian the Librarian — played with exquisite repression by Betsy Whyte. Back in high school, I never realized how subtle this show o was — all those gleaming instruments waiting,

untouched Mark Cranmer, the Lyric's Harold Hill, starts out brassy and his makeup is a bit too close to Joel Grey's in Cabaret. But his charm soon works its way on even the most resistant, especially by the second act, during which, in a more subdued jacket, he sings and dances up a storm. First Hill wins over the W children — in this company, even the kids are well-cast singers and dancers, particularly bright-eyed Alexa Cole as the Mayor's youngest daughter. Next he wins over the "ladies" of the town, a group of gossipy interpretive dancers who steal every scene they're in. And finally he gets to the quarrelling members of the school board, whose investigation of his credentials he circumvents by turning them into a barbershop quartet. Their serenades in perfect harmony weave through the plot.

Finn

McManamy

Pulling together the big numbers and the intrigues of the plot is the con man's confidante. He's not a character I recall from my paper-bagged Music Man days, but in this production, Mike Ravey has the sorrowful expression and comedic timing of Buster Keaton — and the rubberjointed legs that make it seem like he's coming and going at the same time. With this Music Man, director Joe Dye and the Lyric company have delivered that rare thing — a full-throated, busting-out musical without a scenery-chewer in the lot. •

The Music Man, s t a g e d by Lyric Theatre. November 1 6 - 1 9 , Flynn Theatre, Burlington

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ojyening* SEEING, FEELING, HEARING, a collaborative exhibition with painter Sean Dye, sculptor Steve Dolbin and musician David Morency. Colburn Gallery, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-2014. Reception November 27, 5 p.m.

ongoing S P I C E OF L I F E , group exhibition of nine Vermont artists. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 860-1792. Through January 13. F I V E A R T I S T S FROM G R A C E , featuringGayleen Aiken, Merrill Densmore, Larry Bissonette, Dot Kibbee and Phyllis Putvain. Artspace, Burlington, 862-2898. PUERTO C A B E Z A S P O R T R A I T S , photographs from Nicaragua by Dan Higgins. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 863-3403- Through November. SIGNALS, From Inside and Out, new work by Linda Jones. Living/Learning Gallery, University of Vermont, Burlington, 656-4200. Through December 7. A R T I S T S O F COLOR H.Lawrence McCrory Gallery of .llAp|J, Bp.luc , , Multicultural Art, Bailey/Howe Library, University of Vermont, A N G E L I C REALMS Animals wish, • Burlington, 656-2023. Ongoing exhibit. £ ^ S ^ n ^ m e m a ' d SEASON'S FLEETINGS, hand-pulled relief prints and monoprints / ^ u/^ * °ht~ tn* tn 00 [. s i f in 0 your showing seasonal changes in Vermont, by Roy Newton. Red Onion, r> iore -ru i l ' Christmas stockings. b « w rOrnaments Burlington, 865-2563. J hrough December. , ,^ u ° galore, too. Above, winged Cow. OPEN STUDIO, a smalt group of Burlington artists show their stuff. Wing Building, Burlington, 865-4435. Evefy Saturday through December 15. BEGINNING AGAIN, monotypes by Terry Racich. Unitarian Universalis! Church, Burlington, 658-3564. Through December. THE STORY OF A RELATIONSHIP, narrative paintings by Dug Nap, Studio, Burlington, 658-5123. Call for appointment. WATER ON WATER, recent watercolors from the waterfront by Benjamin Stein. Wing Building, Burlington, 863-4105. Through January 10. AUTOBIOGRAPHY THROUGH THE SELF-PORTRAIT, student works. McAuley Dining Room, Trinity College, Burlington, 658-0337. Through December 8. BEHIND THE SECRET WINDOW, paintings by Nelly Toll during the Holocaust. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through December 10. THE ANIMI ST' S BOOK OF TREES, a series of paintings on muslin by Sam Kerson. Fletcher Free Library Atrium, Burlington, 863-3403. Through November. NEW PAINTINGS, by Janet Fredericks. Merrill Lynch, Courthouse Plaza, Burlington, 660-1000. Through December. RECENT PAINTINGS , by Robert Klein. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through November 25. FLOWER PORTRAITS: PAINTINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS, by Janet Sobieski. Williston Coffeehouse, Williston, 893-1984. Through November. PAINTINGS IN PROGRESS by Karen Dawson, Lakeside Gallery and Art Studio, Burlington, 865-1208. Through December 15 •* • INSIDERS AND OUTSIDERS, work of prisoners and other self-taught artists, Webb & Parsons, Burlington, 658-5123. Through December 15, private showings only. HOLDING THE CIRCLE, mandala drawings by Alison Granucci. Muddy Waters, Burlington, 862-5630. Through December. IMPRESSIONISTIC MONOTYPES, by Elizabeth Iliff. McAuley Arts Center, Trinity College, Burlington, 658-0337. Through November. BIG DOG HEADS/MACRO BOTANICALS, paintings by Nancy Anisfield and Wayne Staples. Green Mountain Power Corp., S. Burlington, 864-1557. Through January 3. PERMANENT EXHIBIT, showing the prints of Mel Hunter and ceramic sculptures of Susan Smith-Hunter only. Smith-Hunter Gallery, Ferrisburgh, 877-3719. Drop in or by appointment anytime. PAINTINGS, CONSTRUCTIONS AND DRAWINGS by Eli Rowe. Red Mill Gallery, Johnson Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. Through November. ARTISTS' TOYS '95, playful objects created by 30 American artists. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. SHAMANISM, MAGIC AND THE BUSY SPIDER, a touring exhibit of Abenaki history and culture. T.W Wood Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through December 15. GARDEN TERRACOTTA, by Carolyn Peduzzi. Clay Studio Gallery, Montpelier, 223-4220. Through November. FIBER AND TEXTILES, by Elizabeth Billings. Vermont Council on the Arts, Montpelier, 828-3291. Through December 30. paw of the artist's newborn son to large and literal, direct applications of handprints. In a smaller work, "Where it Touches," Jones has scratched, as with a needle, a pair of hands into thickly layered, womblike swirls of color, undoing her own riHHHBHHHHj lyrical abstraction with figurative P B H representation. .,.^yiiM-^ Inspired by dreams, Jones' rich J I b H b palette of chalkv grays, earth tones, \ radiant orange and turqouise J H shows a competent command of color, while her structural sensibility is both intuitive and unre*. m m m strained. Her vibrant hues and ges* tural shapes create a powerful ^ M i i ^ f t J ^ S framework for more recognizable : ^gj symbols. With these subtly moving s Is m M f W S m works, Jones has uncovered the •v v| important realization that hands ^gMu \ and eyes are expressive tools of the ^SSH ^ most elementary, meaningful coms ~ munication. v'Hand Signals> IV," ' / by Linda Jones Pascal Spengemann <</W $i h iy>

EYE TO HAND Burlington artist Linda Jones uses a painter's vocabulary to explore the nature of communication in her modest but powerful exhibit, "Signals From Inside and Out," currently at the Living/Learning Gallery at y the University of Vermont. ^ Simplifying complex interac> tions into symbolic codes of i , >- j ^ * f color, organic abstraction and '* V'^lr anatomy, the artist hints at ^ . r S M >• human existence at its most \ <t#JT basic level. The hand, a critical "Is symbol for Jones, signifies sim. pie communication, gesture and the prehensile grip that holds the paintbrush. i «

"Handsignals," a multi-work •

series, expresses this theme both in style and subject matter. Fingers, fists and palms are both carefully and roughly rendered in these mixed-media-on-paper compositions — from the tiny

SEVEN DAYS

november

ZZ,199

RISING TO THE

An architect's view of

the Rose Street

ProjJt

ometimes the smallest detail can reveal the deeper meanings in complex and unruly patterns. So it was for me this weekend at the Rose Street Bakery Project, a performance piece presented by Hannah Dennison and Cradle to Grave Arts. Approximately 30 performers dressed as bakers and wearing dust masks ran, stood, stared, sang, worked, played and sometimes literally bounced off the walls of this abandoned building — soon to be converted into 12 units of affordable housing for artists and craftspeople. There was no real beginning or end. Things happened, or didn't, and one could wander through the performance and building as if it were a museum.

this building, as well as of the nature of bread, work and human intercourse. At other times I felt drawn into a dreamlike state that suggested ways we transform artifacts of the past into something else — the endless spiral of history. Last winter a sprinkler pipe burst and flooded the building. The water swelled the wood floors and, in some rooms, the pressure caused the wood to buckle upwards like a wave. I entered one of these rooms, which was dimly lit from a broken, partially boarded-up window and two candles. Several performers were standing still or engaging in repetitive actions. One then climbed a ladder and carefully sifted flour down onto the face of another.

On the surface, it was an enjoyable, sad, tender, funny interpretation of the history of

Then I saw that a section of the buckled floor had been planted with a row of wheat as if it were a furrow in the ground. Suddenly, I had a vision of this place, and this piece of land. A long time ago it was rock, then glacier, then soil and trees. It was silent except for thunder and lightning. People came and the trees

The Rose S t r e e t Bakery P r o j e c t , d i r e c t e d by Hannah D e n n i s o n . Rose Street Bakery, B u r l i ngton, November 1 8 - 1 9 .

silent again. Then a sprinkler pipe burst and created new furrows in the floor, which were then replanted by performers as the building again emerges from a cycle of silence. From this single detail I began to sense the other currents swirling within a piece that presented itself as just an abstract interpretation of the life and times of a bakery. W i t h o u t any real beginning or end, and no plot, the piece kept recycling itself, just as this site has seen a series of patterns over its long history. This performance didn't just happen, it burrowed into the 13 X very fabric of the building. o >-3 O Small niches in brick walls were lit with candles as if they were ovens. Shards of Formica found on the floor were embedded into walls with piles of flour below — or were those piles of OFF THE WALL: Dancers emulate the sound of kneading at gypsum from the deteriorating the Rose Street Bakery. sheetrock? Old plastic letters were cleared. Furrows were were removed; countertops were were randomly laid in front of a plowed and things were plantassembled and traveling sales"baker" reading from old recipe ed. Structures were built from men with their suitcases burst books, or arranged into words the trees arid changed over the forth like seeds in the w i n d to such as "pan." Salesman suitcasyears. Then came bricks, and sell novelties — until they were Continued on page 22 bread was baked until the ovens gone forever and it became

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22,1995

SEVEN

DAYS

page

astrology BY ROB BREISNY ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): I call the ninth house your House of frontier Adventures. These days it happens to be jam-packed with planets. The last time there was a gathering this festive was 12 years ago. Do you recall what wild pilgrimage or sacred escape you risked in the fall of 1983? A quixotic quest to the ends of the earth? An out-of-pajama experience with a loony saint? Your first six-pack out behind the 7-Eleven? To calculate how the imminent knee-wobblin, endorphin-arousin breakthrough will compare with the last time you surfed the primordial soup, multiply by a factor of three.

more labor in your love, every shred of inside dope that's made your dreams more realistic and your realism more dream-inspired; and every connection that might improve your ability to create your ideal career for years to come.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This is it. The most clamorous throng of planets in Sagittarius in the

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Have you fallen in love this year? I mean fallen in love harder, deeper and sloppier than you have in eons? If not, I'd have to conclude that either you're not a full-fledged Leo or else that this astrology stuff is a bunch of bunk. By all the signs and omens, your romantic fantasies should have been in flagrant overdrive these past II months. Your charismatic talents should have been on outrageous display, attracting every sleek lover and crazy geek who's been even vaguely enamored of you. And by all the signs and omens, you will harvest the fruits of all this amour fou in the next few weeks.

catch. You have to know exactly what your smartest dream is>. If there's any doubt in your mind, I'd recommend that you either find out fast — or else forget the whole thing and fritter away the next few magical days playing the lottery, entering contests and getting laid.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): If you've been following this column for a while, you're at least subliminajly aware that I've been pushing and shoving you ever-so-politely towards your dream home. You know that I've been coaxing you to either rediscover your oldest roots or grow deep new ones; that I've been challenging you to build a foundation that'll last into the next millennium. Now your time for putting the finishing touches on all these quiet wonders is almost up. You've got four more weeks at the most, and this week will be very much like now-or-never, do-or-die.

TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): Here are a few predictions in honor of the seven-planet conclave in your House of Secret Transformations. 1) One of your cute old hopes will have to wither in order for a gorgeous new hope to germinate. 2) You will, if you dare, feel the hair-raising presence -— and help — of the dead. 3) Sphinx-like pleasures will mean more to you after they're ended than they will while you re in the middle of them. 4) You will experience what can only be described as a border crossing and, as a result, you will never again understand marriage in quite the same way.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you've been faithfully heeding the promptings of your secret self these last 11 months, 1995 will go down in the record books as The Year of Building Bridges. Fate has been begging you to reconcile elements thatve always been at odds; to blend ingredients thatve never been mixed, and to connect places which've been separated by abysses. Now, hopefully, your work as a master builder has arrived at its final phase. In these next few weeks your job is to check and doublecheck your craftmanship; to polish all the rough edges; and to make sure every new link is ready for heavy traffic.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I'd like you to muse on the possible similarities between what happened in your life in December 1994 and in the last half of October 1995. Is there any way you can think of those two times as chapters in the same epic-length story? Meditate especially on matters involving collaborations and relationships and clowns kissing in a fountain. (I'm only half-kidding about that last one.) I propose that December, '94 and October '95 were related, and that together they were the perfect foreplay for this week. For better or worse — depending on what you've sown through your own free will — you're about to reap a climactic turning point that'll shift the course of your passions for years.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Let's hope your bank account has at least 20 percent more padding than it did at this time last year. Let's hope that you've been cashing in on all the financial help the cosmos has tried to shove in front of your face these last 11 months. And most of all, lets hope that if you've been in any way lax in these matters, you drop everything and try to make up for lost time in the next few weeks. If you can't get richer quicker now, you might as well take a vow of poverty and retire to a monastery.

CANCER Gune 21 -July 22): Calling all wage slaves, daily grinders and nine-to-fivers. The week ahead will deliver the punch line you've been working all year to earn. This pithy revelation should tie together every hint you've glimpsed about how to put more love in your labor and

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): To be frank, Capricorn, my expectations for you this year haven't been very high at least not as measured by normal Capricornian standards. When 1995 First got underway, I felt you'd be lucky just to hold your own and not slip back a rung or two on the ladder of success. My hopes lay primarily in what I saw as your growing motivation to purge the sludgy karma that had been bogging down your ambitions in little ways for years. Now that you've finished much (but not all) of this thankless janitorial work, I'm happy to predict that it should lead directly to some very Capricornian-style victories in 1996 — in the form of more money, influence and authority. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): First there was deep ecology. Then there was deep politics. And now — just in time for your best networking season in years — there's deep gossip. Deep gossip has little in common with the careless yammering that corrodes reputations and breeds cynicism. When you engage in deep gossip, you spread uplifting rumors; you call attention to peoples talents and successes; and you conspire to activate everyone's dormant idealism. Deep gossip is a holy approach to yakking about the human zoo. It may not come as easy as the cheap and dirty kind, but it lasts longer and it makes more of the kind of connections you really need. PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Its been a paradoxical year. On the one hand, grouchy old Grandpa Saturn has been hanging around, ragging on you nonstop to take more responsibility for your life. On the other hand, cheerful Uncle Jupiter has been out and around talking you up and trying to drum up just the kind of opportunities you like. More than once you've been too depressed by Saturn's morose presence to capitalize on the breaks that Jupiter's sent your way. During the next few weeks, though — and especially the week ahead — Jupiter's joy-luck stuff will have the upper hand on Saturn's stem glum vibes. Seize the fucking time. Q © Copyright 1995

Burlington College

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Upcoming Events: Friday & Saturday, December 1 & 2 VERMONT POLITICS with Ralph Wright (former speaker of Vermont House) 1 Credit Weekend Workshop Presentation Free to Public Friday Evening 7:00 - 9:00 p.m. TUesday, December 5 Informational meeting for the Cinema Studies & Film Production Degree Program 5:30-7:00 p.m. ' For more information contact Admissions Office, Burlington College 95 North Avenue, Burlington 05401

802-862-9616

100 Main Street, Burlington, VT

SEVEN DAYS

november

ZZ,199

THE HOYIS CINEMAS

FILM QUIZ My left foot is gushing blood like some psycho poured red dye into Old Faithful as I sit in an emergency room just outside Nashville with my best friend Lenny. He's got repulsion written over his face as he stares at the jackknife protruding from my Thorn McAn loafer. " I can't believe you ran the 8 1/2 blocks from the diner with that thing stuck in you," he says, shaking his head. "Well, I would've preferred to ride," I point out, "but apparently that taxi driver figured we'd mess up his nice neat back seat." Suddenly a doctor comes around the corner and, oh, no - he looks just like that guy George Clooney from "E.R." Man, is he ever overexposed or what?

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THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT * * * Once upon a time Rob Reiner made the most original, magical movies to slip through the Hollywood cracks — The Princess Bride, This is Spinal Tap and Stand By Me among them. For years I took pleasure in pointing but to friends that he was the only director I could think of who'd never made a bad film. The veracity of that axiom was threatened, however, by the 1992 release of A Few Good Men, which I considered — unlike most people — to be an anemic picture buoyed up by a couple of robust performances. It crumbled altogether last year. Nexr to North, the works of Ed Wood look like masterful cinema. The American President by no means grants the director a full pardon for his recent missteps, but it does provide hope that he's on the road to recovery of his senses, Reiner's first stop on the comeback trail was the office of A Few Good Men writer Aaron Sorkin, whom he hired to pen this appeal- CAPITOL KISSER Douglas is a prez in love. ing, if predictable, button-pusher about a handsome, widowed chief executive who jeopardizes his approval rating by dating an environmental lobbyist. While Michael Douglas and Annette Bening are more than equal to the task of fleshing out their one-dimensionai roles, the real star of the show is Sorkins script. Despite cornball plot devices, stick-figure characters and liberal cheerleading, every now and then he gets off a really good one on the subjects of both politics and bedfellows. A handful of inspired comic lines aside, though, this is pretty much a one-gimmick deal. Again and again essentially the same joke unfolds. Bening, for instance, is wide-eyed and awestruck when the thunder of helicopter propellers shakes the Oval Office. "Well, that's my ride," quips Douglas casually. An hour later Sorkin is still going to the same well, and Benings character has come to seem positively learning impaired. No matter how many times the eminence of his job is juxtaposed with the regular guy-ness of the man, Bening continues to react as though it's just hit her that she's making kissy face with the leader of the free world. For a movie that's designed to be a virtual monument to political correctness, the attitude taken toward its female lead is remarkably patronizing. Reiner's latest is precisely as successful a comedy as A Few Good Men was a drama. Strong writing salvages one, strong acting the other. I would like to think now that the filmmaker's career trajectory reached its nadir with North, ricocheted oflf the bottom of the barrel and, with this film, has begun the long ascent back to the creative heights he reached in the '80s. There is doubt he can do it. I elect to believe that he's just getting back into fighting trim with The American President and, though it's merely one of confidence, Reiner has my vote.

3 Oci - Q

PReviews

10.

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS

Review

TOY STORY From Disney comes the world's first entirely computer-animated feature film with the voices of Tom Hanks and Tim Allen. Featuring Don Rickles as Mr. Potato Head. MONEY TRAIN Can there really still be anyone out there who hasn't had their fill of wise-ass action comedies with athletic stars doing the same old slow-motion stunts, letting loose with deadpan one-liners in times of stress and dodging the usual bullets, car wrecks and explosions? If so, have we got a boldly original work of cinema for you. With the increasingly tedious Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes. CARRINGT0N Jonathan Price snagged the Best Actor prize at Cannes last spring for his portrayal of gay writer and Bloomsbury Group member Lytton Strachey. Emma Thompson plays Dora Carrington, the painter who was hopelessly in love with him. Directed by Christopher Hampton from his own script. CAS I NO Movies like this are what the phrase "eagerly awaited" was made for. After a sumptuous period piece (Age of Innocence) and a silly thriller (Cape Fear), director Martin Scorsese returns to the metier where he's done his greatest work. Robert De Niro stars in this story of a briliianr gambler whose luck changes when he gives up playing the games to run a Las Vegas casino. With Joe Pesci, Don Rickles, Alan King and Sharon Stone. NICK OF TIME Johnny Depp as a mild-mannered accountant who turns into an action hero when kidnappers take his daughter and insist he kill the governor of California? All of a sudden Edward Scissorhands sounds^like cinema vcr\ti. ,

SHORTS

ACE VENTURA: WHEN NATURE CALLS ** Everybody's favorite pompadoured pet detective is back in what will likely prove the seasons most lucrative bit of lunacy though a lot of it feels like a labored rehash of the original. Ian McNeice and Sophie Okonedo join Jim Carrey as he bungles in the jungles of Africa. 60L0ENEYE (NR) In an age when every third movie is a big-budget action spectacle wherein larger-thanlife heroes crack wry jokes under pressure, I'm not clear on exactly what the novelty of a new Bond film is supposed to be. The presence of life-like Pierce Brosnan? (See review page 15.) IT TAKES TWO (NR) A cuddly comedy about adorable identical cousins. Kirstie Alley stars. Why do I doubt this ones going to double my pleasure? BLUE IN THE FAC E ( N R) Wayne Wang and Co, had so much fun making Smoke, they decided to stick around for five more days and shoot this largely improvised follow-up set in Harvey Keitel's fictional tobacco shop. They invited a few friends, too. Among those who accepted the invitation: Madonna, Lou Reed, LilyTomlin and Roseanne. GET SHORTY * * * * John Travolta stars in Barry (Addams Family) Sonnenfeld's adaptation of Elmore Leonard s comic best-seller about a Miami mobster who goes to Hollywood and gets mixed up in a really unsavory business — the movies. HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS * * * * Jodie Foster directs this ensemble piece about a middle-class Baltimore family that regroups for Thanksgiving. The film features Holly Hunter, Robert Downey Jr., Anne Bancroft, Charles Durning and Steve Guttenberg, among others, and is anything but a turkey.

rating

scale:

—

SHOWTIMCS Films run Wednesday, Nov. 2 2 through Thursday, Nov. 30.

ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Clueless 12:10, 2:25, 7:05, 9:20. Gold Diggers 11:55,2:15. Babe 11:45, 1:40. Mighty Aphrodite 3:25, 6:40, 9:25. Usual Suspects 6:50, 9:10. Apollo 13 6:30, 9. Pocahontas 12:20, 2:35. Evening times Mon-Fri; all times Sat, Sun.

CINEMA

NINE

Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610. Toy Story* 10, 12, 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40, 10:35. Casino* 12:15, 3:45, 7:15. Nick of Time* 10:15, 12:15, 2:45, 4:55, 7:05, 9:15. Money Train* 10:40, 1:20, 4:05, 6:40, 9:25. Get Shorty 12:55, 9:40. Copycat 3:30, 6:35, 9:30. Goldeneye 10, 12:30, 3:35, 6:35, 9:45. Ace Ventura 2 10:10, 12:15, 2:35, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. American President 10:05, 12:35, 3:40, 6:40, 9:30. It Takes Two 10:05, 1 , 4 , 7 .

SEVEN DAYS

*****

s - i

NR = not rated UJ

SHOWCASE C I N E M A S 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. Toy Store* 12, 2:10, 4:20, 6:30, 8:40, 10:35. Money Train* 1:20, 4:05, 6:40, 9:25. Goldeneye 1:10, 4:10, 7, 9:55. Ace Ventura 2 12:15, 2:35, 5, 7:15, 9:45. It Takes Two 12:25, 2:45, 5:05, 7:25. Now and Then 9:35. N I C K E L O D E O N C I N E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. Carrington* 12:30, 3, 6:50, 9:20. Casino* 12:15, 3:45, 7:30. Home for the Holidays 11:20, 1:45, 4:15, 6:30, 8:45. Get Shorty 12, 2:30, 5, 7:40, 10. American President 10:45, 11:40, 1:20, 2:10, 4, 4:40, 6:40, 7:10, 9:30, 9:50.

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THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Clockers 6:30. Blue in the Face 8:50. * STARTS WEDNESDAY. Times subject to change. Please call theaters to confirm.

page

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es were packed with bread, and the performers bounced off the walls, emulating the slapping of dough sounds that used to keep the neighbors awake on hot summer nights. This melding of the performance and the building meant that, even when nothing was happening, something was happening. The melancholic place itself became a performance, with all layers of the past alive and present. I began to feel somewhat daunted by the task my partner, Robert Duncan, and I have as architects in renovating this poetically peeling place into the next cycle of transformation and activity. In many ways I would like it to remain just the way it is, but I know that it is time for new performers. We will preserve as many of the layers of history that modern codes allow — like the old recipe board drawn onto the metal walls of the mixing room. And I hope we will add a new layer of poetry to the endless cycle of change. •

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help wanted YOUTH MENTORS NEEDED Mentors needed to provide livein care for adolescent male with special needs in your h o m e or be willing to find a home/ apartment to share with this youth. Mentors will be expected to provide a structured and safe home environment and assist individual in acquiring indeendent living skills. Single, mature individuals with experience working with children and young adults with developmental disabilities and/or emotional/behavioral problems encouraged to apply. Training, support, respite and generous stipend provided. Send letter of interest and resume to: NFI, Attn: Carrie 112 Lake St. Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 1 or call for more information at 660-4822.

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housemates J O I N 3 GUYS, CAT, B A N D in cool, calm, clean, non-smoking downtown apt. $ 2 8 0 incl. heat. Andrew, 8 6 5 - 2 1 2 2 . B U R L I N G T O N : Roomy house on river in New North End. W/D, large yard. Pets okay. On bike path. $ 4 0 0 + 1/2 util. Larry, 8 6 0 - 6 8 9 8 . A W E S O M E P E R S O N wanted to join one man, one woman in cooperative household. Beautiful, sunny, organized 3bedroom apartment with garden space, parking and W/D. N/S, drug-free. Vegetarian preferred. $225+, 8 6 2 - 6 7 2 7 .

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