Seven Days, December 9, 1998 by Seven Days

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AT TH€ ONION RIVCR The Onion River Co-op presents the 1st Annual Trees That Make a DiMerence Event!

H a p p y H o lid a y s to c u r statt). T h a n k y o u to r a ll o f y o u r h a r d w o rk th is y e a r ! J e ff Jenny

The Onion River Co-op is

Chris

selling holiday tr e e s to

Forest

benefit th e Com m ittee on

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Kelly,

d ire c t social se rvice s and

David P.

a ffo r d a b le housing to poor

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and hom eless Verm ont

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individuals and fam ilies.

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Peter Purinton, Verm ont

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Family F arm er o f th e Year, will be supplying beautiful

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274 North W inooski Avenuer Burlington 8 6 3 -3 6 5 9 M on-Sat. 9 -9 • Sun. 11 -8 • page’2-

SEVEH DAYS''

december Sf-iSSS*’

id >:

v >■-j

the weekly read on Vermont news, views and culture CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly STAFF WRITER Erik Esckilsen ART DIRECTOR Samantha Hunt DESIGNERS Donald Eggert,

| Tara Vaughan-1 lughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ PERSONALS | Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Michelle Brown, Rob Cagnina, Jr., % Eve Jarosinski, Nancy Payne CONTRIBUTING WRITERS | Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, John Dillon, Peter Freyne, David Healy, I Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, | David Lines, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Ron Powers, Gail Rosenberg, Elaine I Segal, Glenn Severance, Barry Snyder, Headier Stephenson, Molly Stevens,

“The tradition also avoids funny business in the vocal cords.”

Sarah Van Arsdale, Karen Vincent, Margy Levine Young, Jordan Young PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Sarah Ryan INTERN Lindsey Wolper WWW GUY Dave Donegan SEVEN DAYS is published by D a C apo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free o f charge in greater Burlington, M iddlebury, M ontpelier, Stowe, the M ad River Valley, R utland, St. Albans and Plattsburgh. C irculation: 20,000. S ix - m o n th F irst C la ss s u b s c rip tio n s are available for $40. O n e * 1 s y«ar Fir« t C la ss s u b s c rip tio n s arc atlailable for $80. S ix - m o n th T h i r d

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Features

Departments

Exodus?

question

A breakaway faction of Conservative Vermont Jews finds a

weekly mail

new home

— in an old one

page 4

inside t r a c k .............................................

page 5

backtalk

page 7

.................................................

troubletown

.............................................

page 4 2

By David Healy ...................................................................... page 11

life in h e l l ...............................................

page 5 0

Jock of all Trades

c la s s if ie d s ...............................................

page 51

car t a l k ...................................

page 52 page 53

Eco-activist Bobby Kennedy Jr. gets down to Earth B.D. Press in Georgia, VT.

....................................

page 4

By Ruth Horowitz....................................................................page 8

Woods for the Wise

SEVEN DAYS is printed at

.................................................

S E V E N DAYS, P.O. Box 1164,

What to get for the over-equipped outdoorsman

255 S. Champlain St.,

By Flip B ro w n .............................................................................. page20

straight dope

First Person: Sex, Lies and Santa Claus

red m e a t ....................................

page 53

By Elaine S e g a l............................................................................page30

story minute ............

page 5 4

Move Over, M ichelangelo

crossword p u z z le ......................

page 5 6

Art review: “Mysteries in Stone, " “Past Masters: History in

real a s t r o lo g y ....................................

page 5 6

Stone "

p e rs o n a ls .................................................

page 57

By Marc Awodey ..................................................................page 40

lola, the love counselor

page 5 7

Presents of Mind

the mostly unfabulous social life of

Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4

Tel: 8 0 2 .8 6 4 .5 6 8 4 Fax: 8 0 2 .8 6 5 .1 0 1 5 . e-mail: sevenday@together.net http://www.sevendaysvt.com

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Theater reviews:

Desire Under the Elves, The Best Christmas

By Erik E sck ilse n ......................................................................... page46

Oy crazy.

...........................................

Notes From History

Listings

A new vocal group gets in tune with the old times

clu b s

By Pamela Polston.......... .............

SEVEN DAYS.

.............................

page 5 8

Pagent Ever

COVER BY T A RA V A U G H A N -H U G H E S PHOTO BY M ATTH EW T H O R S E N

ethan greene

...........................................

page 49

page 2 6

....................

calendar

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page 3 0

Vidiot Savant: Movies and Other M iracles

art

.......... ..............

page 4 6

By Barry Snyder............................................................................page50

film

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page 4 8

december 9,1.998.

SEVEN, DAYS-

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FREYNE FORMULA FUN Peter Freyne’s rather caustic advice to Sam Hemingway in your 12/2 issue was well made

questio

Chris Bohjalian and Oprah said it. Can you use the word “vulva” in a sentence?

[Inside Track]. Hemingway’s columns always seem to read the same, no matter what the story or cast of characters. His attempts at irony, sarcasm, wit and other tricks of the writer’s trade never quite come off. In short, his work reads as if it were written by a computer that has been programmed to generate a col umn after a few fill-in-theblanks questions have been answered. As does Hemingway, so also

Only if the sentence can be, ‘I can’t use the word vulva in a sen-

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tence.’ — Alex C hirelstein Director, Very Sp e cia l A rts Verm ont

does Freyne, to some extent, produce a formulaically written column. The difference is that Freyne’s cynical, wise-guy style make his writings interesting and fun to read. By contrast Hemingway comes across as a goo-goo journalist who too

often bores with his attempts to make a silk purse from sow’s ear. — Raymond E. Leary Shelburne PRESIDENTIAL PERFOR MANCE TENUOUS On Nov. 18th Peter Freyne complained that for the past eight months the press has blacked-out the news and talk radio has jammed the airwaves with the sanctimonious screech of a ratpack of twisted rightwing wackos...demanding Bill Clinton’s resignation [Inside Track]. As a consequence, he contended, Americans have

mance as president and the arguments of those who think lying, perjury and obstruction of justice are not impeachable offenses. When Winston Churchill first entered government he was away from home so often and unexpectedly his wife won dered out loud whether he was n’t having an affair. To this the future Prime Minister replied, “We do not live in a world of small intrigues but of serious and important affairs.” This is precisely what Bill Clinton has

demeanors don’t go any higher than the office of the President. — John Shaplin Burlington Lette rs P o lic y : S E V E N DAYS

w an ts your rants and raves,

in 2 5 0 w ords or le ss. Letters

are only a c ce p te d that

respond to content in Seven

Days. In clu d e your full nam e

ignored real stuff like the important contribution the President made to peace in Ireland. Two weeks later the peace in Ulster, and in Israel, for that matter, seems pretty

refused to do. Whatever undue attention and distraction has been caused by the Lewinsky affair, and however much the American people are tired of hearing about it, the fault can only be laid entirely, completely, utterly and incontrovertably at the

S E V E N D AYS, P.0. Box 1164,

tenuous and unreal. That’s typ ical of Bill Clinton’s perfor

doorstep of Bill Clinton. And in the U.S.A., crimes and mis

e-mail: sevenday@together.net

and a daytim e phone

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fax: 8 6 5 -1 0 1 5

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it comes to the Fourth Estate, Freed replied, “Regardless of whether I do or not, my job is “We’re losing ground by the minute,” to my constituents. My job is to the caucus Republican City Councilor M att Gardy told here and the people of the state of Vermont Inside Track Tuesday. It’s high time, he said, I’m not beholden to the members of the media the Republican candidate for mayor stepped or the press.” forward! That sure sounds like a “yes.” So Mad Matt threw down the gauntlet to But Freed does not rule the Republican the senior Republican in Burlap — City caucus with an iron fist, much as he’d like to. Councilor Kurt Wright. Gardy said he’d give And not all of ’em think the best place to put Kurt until 6 p.m. Tuesday evening to decide reporters is in front of a firing squad. once and for all if he’s going to run for mayor. John Labarge of Grand Isle, the GOP assis If Kurt won’t take the bait, Gardy said he will tant leader, rose to counter enter the March 1999 race for the press bashing. It took mayor of Vermont’s largest city. some guts. Labarge had read Gardy says he been “receiv yours truly’s recent assess ing a lot of support.” Says he’s ment of what a limp, pathet “chomping at the bit” to run ic bunch of losers the against the incumbent — Vermont Republican Party ] Progressive Mayor Peter has become in recent years. \ Clavelle. Says it’s “a winnable “I have to admit that when race for Kurt or myself.” Mad you said the Republican Matt says he’s deferred to Mr. Party was the worst organiza Wright because Kurt’s “the tion in the state, no, the senior councilor. He has better nation, I’m still chewing on name recognition across the that. But sometimes,” said city.” But, Gardy says, he can Labarge, “when you’re defer no longer. Time’s running whacked in the face it either out. knocks you down or it wakes So we put the question to you up. It woke me up,” he Councilor Wright. We told him said. “I hope it wakes some he had until the six o’clock other people up.” news to decide. Don’t bet on a “That’s not the way I do groundswell soon. That’s business,” Wright told Inside because of Dick Mallary s Track when informed of BY PETER FREYNE little plan to turn opening Gardy’s deadline. “It’s a private day into a remake of the decision,” he said. “I’m not going to respond storming of Omaha Beach. Sir Richard to an ultimatum.” Just an hour earlier, Kurt Mallary, 69, himself a former speaker and the told Inside Track “an internal decision” on a current chairman of the board of trustees at the Republican mayoral candidate would be made Mary Fanny Hospital, wants to kick off the by “the end of the week.” session with a bitter floor fight. What fun! Hey, I thought these guys were buddies? * Mallary wants the Republicans to lock armsT Remember their cable access TV show? Wasn’t on one o f the first orders of business — the V it Called “Common Sense?” adoption of the rules of the previous session. Caucus Smaucus — In the last week, we’ve Under those rules, the House Speaker (who run the bases from the Progressive Party’s will be Democrat Michael Obuchowski no annual meeting in the Old North End to the matter how many rocks Rep. Hyde removes Democratic and Republican House caucuses from his skull cavity), controls committee under the golden dome over the weekend. And assignments. Mallary wants “proportional” rep now for the highlights and lowlights: resentation on committees. ’Course, way back Best line o f the week It came from the lips when Sir Richard was speaker in the 1960s, he of Rep. Bruce Hyde of Fayston, the had no problem with the speaker calling the Republican candidate for Speaker of the tune. House. He was nominated by Rep. George Mallary’s selling his scheme under the label Schiavone of Shelburne, who described Hyde of “fairness,” but it belongs under the label of as a man of “spirit and spunk.” Spunky Hyde “hypocrisy.” Like that other Tricky Dick, assured the caucus right off that, mentally, he Richard Nixon, Mallary paid a price for the is in good shape. “People think I’ve got rocks Watergate scandal. He was Vermont’s congress in my head,” declared Spunky, “or I’m a sacrifi man back then. And in 1974 when he tried to cial lamb. Well, I’m not.” Whew! That’s a move up to the U.S. Senate, a tall, balding relief. People thought he had rocks in his head. state’s attorney from Burlington by the name Worst Talker. The award goes to Rep. of Pat Leahy took him on. The rest is history. Walter Freed, reelected minority leader Just Visiting? — Two surprise visitors at the Sunday. The multi-millionaire from Dorset Progressive Party annual meeting last Thursday rambles on and on without stopping for a were Democrats. State Sen. Jean Ankeney and breath. Field Marshall Von Freed took over the Sen.-elect Janet Munt. “I’m a closet Prog,” said big dog’s post two years ago in a right-wing Ankeney. “I came to get my batteries charged.” caucus coup. The previous GOP leader, Rich “I’m a Prog at heart/’ echoed Munt. Westman, paid the price for having a good College Grad? — Monday evening, Burlap’s working relationship with the Democratic City Council picked the candidate with the leadership. That didn’t sit well with Walt’s most impressive academic background to fill troopers. They wanted a more partisan leader, the vacancy on the airport commission — real and they got one in Walt. And besides estate developer Bobby Miller. Democrats, one thing right-wingers don’t like Funny, but his opponent, Brian Searles, is the bloody press. Freed announced that the had a much longer resume. Let’s see, Brian’s Republicans will continue the smarmy new tra currently the deputy secretary of administra dition he inaugurated last session, in which tion for Howard Dean. Used to be South once every two weeks the GOP caucus meets Burlington’s chief of police. And he holds behind closed doors at a location outside the degrees from Trinity, Champlain and St. Statehouse. No press allowed. Open govern Michael’s. ment — what a concept. But Miller’s resume topped it. After all, he And four or five times Sunday, Walt the graduated from Rutland High School in 1954. Salt got in his digs at the Vermont press for not And after that, he wrote on his application, giving Republicans enough credit for their 10“College of Hard Knocks, 1954 to present.” seat gain in the House, and for dismissing Bobby Miller was the unanimous choice of Spunky Hyde as a sacrificial lamb. Asked after the city council. ® wards if he’s got “a chip on his shoulder” when

Mayoral Ultimatum!

Track

dejEjember 9 , . 1 9 9 8 .

VfW f *v*

One PiH Makes You Larger The first lawsuit g ain st the maker of Viagra was filed in July by Diego Padro, 63, who claimed he had a heart attack after several days of sex using the drug. “Viagra changed my life but not favorably,” Padro said after filing his $85-million suit in New York Supreme Court against Pfizer Inc. “No one needs to improve their sex life to the point where they might die.” • Joseph Moran, a used car salesman from Middlesex County, New Jersey, filed a lawsuit later that month against Pfizer, seeking $ 10 mil lion. He claimed that after he took Viagra for recreational use, he saw blue streaks shoot ing from his fingers, insisting the side-effect caused him to crash his car. • The Federal Aviation Administration recommended that pilots not take Viagra within six hours of flying because the drug might inter fere with their ability to distin guish between the colors blue and green. Blue lights are used to outline airport taxiways, and green lights illuminate aircraft digital instrument panels. Writing in the Federal Air Surgeons Medical Bulletin, Iflight surgeon Dr. Donato J. Borrillo warned that “full ’

scan and the task at hand may Minister Martine Aubry. be compromised” by Viagra. Although the state will not • When the anti-impotence reimburse users for the drug, drug Viagra was introduced in doctors visits are covered. The Thailand, officials of Pfizer, the government estimated at the pill’s manufacturer, announced time of its approval in that the drug would not pro September that an additional long sex. According to a recent 500,000 Frenchman will seek survey, Thais spend the least prescriptions for the drug. time having sex: 10.4 minutes • Viagra will cost the Defense per encounter. Department $50 million that • Viagra made its debut in Italy it had not anticipated, forcing in October, but the Vatican it to ask Congress for more Pharmacy, which is considered money to provide the drug for Romes best because it stocks active-duty and retired service many medicines unavailable personnel. After military offi elsewhere in Italy, said it has cials told Congress it didn’t no plans to sell the drug. The include the amount in its 1999 pharmacy is run by Catholic budget request, Pentagon priests. spokesperson Jim Turner • Authorities in California and explained, “Viagra sort of burst Colorado this summer began on the scene.” an investigation of an on-line pharmacy operation that has Crime and Punishment been supplying Viagra through Zeferino DePina, 24, the Internet without prescrip pleaded guilty to shooting tions. The San Francisco Filipe Monteiro in the head in Chronicle reported that the Boston in 1991 and was sen company, Performance Drugs tenced to four to 12 years at Inc., issued a press release in the state prison at Walpole. May advertising “worldwide Four months later, access” to Viagra. Besides help Monteiro got a job as a ing many men overcome prison guard and was assigned impotence, the drug is also to Walpole, where he began sought for recreational use by tormenting DePina. After years men who are not impotent but of harassment and beatings by believe it will enhance their Monteiro, DePina was award sexual prowess. ed $37,500 in October by a • Viagra could cost Frances federal jury that found state health system up to $55 Monteiro and prison superin million a year, according to tendent Ronald Duval were “deliberately, or cal I

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lously indifferent” to DePina’s safety. DePina testified that at one point he filed a complaint with prison officials, only to be told by the director of the prison disciplinary unit, “I don’t know what you expect. You shot the guy in the head.” • Neil H. Lederman, 43, was sentenced to 11 months in the Fairfax County, Virginia, jail for writing a bad check, but he was released in just three weeks because he is an Orthodox Jew. The county couldn’t afford the extra $70 a day to provide him with kosher meals. Instead, authorities placed Lederman on home detention. • When French widow Ghislaine Marchal, 65, was found stabbed to death in Mougins, Provence, in 1991, the words “Omar m’a tuer

(Omar killed me) were scrawled in blood on the wall next to the body. Authorities arrested Omar Raddad, Marchal’s Morrocan gardener, who was convicted solely on the basis of the incriminating words and sentenced to 18

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years in prison. After some people questioned whether a woman with her education would have written the infini tive “tuer” instead of the past participle “tu^,” human rights groups demanded a pardon or new trial. Instead, President Jacques Chirac, citing the grammatical error, commuted Raddad’s sentence. He was released this September. • When Virginia Lowery, 56, was stabbed to death in her San Francisco home in 1987, police found their only clue on the water heater in her garage: two fingerprints possibly left by her attacker. The prints led nowhere until this September, when police announced that they had finally identified the prints as belonging to Robert Nawi, 55, who has a long criminal record. Lowery’s family said the only reason police noticed the finW gerprints in the first place was because Lowery was a compulsive cleaner. “She would wipe down everything, anything, right down to the water heater and the drain in the basement floor,” her broth er Richard Alvarez told the San Francisco Chronicle. “Virginia solved the case, not us, not the police.”®

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SEVEN DAYS

december 9, 1998

N estrer

tim pastes t h e , f y o w w o f H b O /L tk y L U rih iq .

4 MARKET STREET SOUTH BURLINGTON • 8 6 3 -2 5 6 9 ■MON-SAT 8-8 SUN 10-6

Adventurous Traveler Bookstore T ra v e l G u id e s a n d M a p s WINFREY OR DIE: “M en w rite very w ell, but n ot usually ab ou t v u l

t o t h e W o r ld

vas and th in gs,” O prah W infrey said in praise o f V erm on t author

Chris Bohjalian on

her “b ook clu b” sh ow o n M onday.

U nfortunately, there was m ore about ice cream than obstetrics in

245 S. Champlain St 860-6776

the long-aw aited “interview ,” w h ich cam e o f f like a 4 0 -m in u te infom ercial for every V erm ont cliche in the book . D id I say book? Betw een the b run ch ing and baking — that’s eating, not reading, O prah — Bohjalian barely got five m inutes. T here w as a full h a lf

www.AdventurousTraveler.com

hour o f skiing, sugaring, pancakes, Ben, Jerry and larger-than-life V erm onter D o m D eluise before w e finally caught a glim p se o f the author w alking pensively across the fields in a tw eed jacket. T h e

In the old Independent Foods building one block up from the waterfront.

Mon - Sat 10 - 6

actual “b o o k discussion” was m ore like a baby shower, w ith Bohjalian surrounded by w om en arguing w h eth er his fictional pro tagonist was guilty or inn ocent. But hey, the Inn at-Saw m ill Farm looked great. G uess I sh ould have been tipped o f f by the o p e n in g

Ethan Jack McMullen cou ld have nailed Carol Gibson-Warnock m ade a b rief

“q u iz,” in w h ich every o n e o f the stu dio aud ien ce pegged

Allen as

a furniture maker. Even

that o n e . . . Bristol m idw ife

appearance on the show. She was an inspiration for B ohjalian’s b ook and, by association, a major source o f its gu t-w ren ch in g authenticity. Expect m ore blood y sh ow in an u p co m in g d o c u m e n tary o f her han ds-on endeavors by

Mary Arbuckle, w h o has film ed Melissa Deas.

m ore than a dozen births attended by W arnock and

A rbuckle calls it “a labor o f love” that will sh ow the tw o w o m e n in a co n tin u o u s swirl o f births. N o w in the ed itin g process, the 9 0 m in u te docum entary is being produced by

Alexander,

Steve and Kathy

w h o are raising the m o n ey in “dribs and drabs” through

co m m u n ity events like a Friday contradance in Bristol. T h e y are also raising three children delivered by the duo.

BANDS ON THE RUN: W K D R -A M m ay be “all talk,” but there was plenty o f off-air action last w eek w h en the B urlin gton radio station was sold to local broadcaster

Ken Squier.

For the past year, the sta

tion that carries Rush L im baugh and Dr. Laura had been in a m ar keting arrangem ent w ith B urlington Broadcasting, w h ich o w n s and 'operates W IZ N -F M and T h e Buzz. In Septem ber B urlin gton Broadcasting decided not to exercise their right to b u y the station , releasing the principals o f H o m eto w n Broadcasting —

Manno, Jim Condon

and

Mark Johnson —

Louie

to sell their assets to

Radio V erm ont. “T h e y have a dem onstrated track record o f strong com m u n ity-orien ted radio in an era w here radio stations are being gob b led up by ou t-of-state corp orations,” John son observes. “W e think it’ll be a good m arriage,” ow ner Squier says o f the deal, w h ich gives his broadcasting com p an y its first physical fo o th o ld in B urlington. Squier also ow n s W LV B in M orrisville, W D E V in Waterbury, and the com m ercial classical station W C V T in Stow e, w h ich is in the process o f b oostin g its signal to better reach C h itten d en C ounty. “W e d o n ’t really intend to change anyth in g, other than reem phasizing so m e things, like local n e w s,” Squier says o f W K D R , n o tin g it may share som e stories w ith its sister station in Waterbury. H is co m b o package o f classical m u sic and local new s sh ould get the atten tion o f V erm ont Public R adio, w h ich is sn iffin g around St. M ichael’s C ollege for a secon d signal. In the m ean tim e, those tax-deductible “underw riter” m essages are starting to so u n d a heck o f a lot like ads.

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PHOTO: MATTHEW TH0RSEN

Jerry Nahmias

A breakaway faction of Conservative Vermont lews finds a new home - in an old one B y Rxith Horowitz

Ohavi Zedek, and was once at the heart of a thriving, self-con Jew is shipwrecked on a tained Jewish neighborhood desert island. Years later, known as “Little Jerusalem.” a rescue crew arrives to Depending on whom you talk take him home. When they land to, Burlington’s new congrega on the beach, the crew is amazed tion is either a healthy sign of to discover that in the time he’s Jewish spiritual vitality, or an been a castaway, the devout man ominous symptom of fractious has managed to build not one, in-fighting. but two synagogues. Rabbi James Glazer, of The crew is impressed by the Temple Sinai in South mans industry, but also under Burlington, estimates that standably puzzled. “What does about 2800 families with at one man want with two syna least one Jewish member now gogues?”they ask. live in the Burlington area. “This one, "he explains, About 700 of those families, he pointing to one building, “is figures, are affiliated with at where I go to pray every day. The least one of the area’s four syna other is the one I wouldn't be gogues, each of which offers its caught dead in. ” own distinctive brand of It’s an old joke, but this year Judaism. it seems particularly apt in At one end of the spectrum, Burlington. In January, a two institutions provide spiritu month after Chanukah ends, al homes for about 50 families the community will witness the who follow the most traditional birth of Beth Yishra, a new form of the religion. Ahavath congregation that promises to Gerim, the building being rent offer a traditional approach to ed by the new congregation, is Conservative Judaism that’s an Orthodox synagogue. These somewhere to the right of the days, however, so few of its variety currently being offered aging members are active that it at Ohavi Zedek, Vermont’s old rarely holds services any longer. est and largest synagogue. About a mile away, the Some of the families form Chassidic Lubavitch of ing Beth Yishra have long and Vermont operates out of a active histories at Ohavi Zedek. house on Maple Street. In these The building in which they will congregations, everyone is be holding their services is a expected to follow the Jewish hundred-year-old synagogue on dietary laws of Kashruth, never Archibald Street, less than a eating milk and meat at the mile from Ohavi Zedek — a same meal, and avoiding pork, building that originally housed shellfish and other foods.

page 8

SEVEN DAYS

december 9, 1998

Members have a literal under standing of what it means to walk the walk and talk the talk as a Jew: They walk to Saturday morning services, because dri ving on the Sabbath is prohibit ed, and they pray in Hebrew. They also take a traditional approach to the sexes, with men and women seated separately during worship, the women hidden behind a screen and for bidden to read from the Torah in public. In these congrega tions, inter-marriage between Jews and Gentiles is a rarity. On the opposite end of the continuum is suburban Temple Sinai, a Reform congregation with 223 member families. Within Reform Judaism, deci sions about keeping kosher or observing traditional Sabbath restrictions are considered a matter of personal choice — one which many members choose not to exercise. While services are conducted in Hebrew, everything is also repeated in English, and the entire liturgy is much shorter than in Orthodox congrega tions. Men and women sit together and have equal status. Glazer guesses that about half his adult members were not born Jewish, and that about half of those have converted to Judaism. Occupying the wide middle ground between the strict tradi tionalism of Orthodoxy and the religious liberalism of the

Reform movement is Conservative Judaism. Locally, families who fall into this cate gory — about 400 — belong to Ohavi Zedek. At O.Z., as members call it, levels of obser vance vary widely. Conservative Judaism strongly encourages observing both Kashruth and the Sabbath, but many mem bers don’t practice this policy. Services are conducted primari ly in Hebrew, but some English readings are included. Attitudes towards women have changed with the times. Mixed seating became the norm after World War II, and the feminism of the 1960s and ’70s led to fully egalitarian services. Over the last few decades, Ohavi Zedek has included an increasing number of members who were not born Jewish or have non-Jewish partners. In fact, Rabbi Joshua Chasan, whose wife converted to Judaism from Catholicism, says that the congregation’s openness to “Jews by choice” was a major draw when he came to the syn agogue in 1991. Under Chasan, O.Z. has seen a number of changes. New tunes have been introduced for some prayers, and liturgical lan guage has been tweaked — in the English — to eliminate sex ism. In the last several years, lesbians and men with pony tails — including the newly elected board president and the rabbi himself — have become

increasingly visible in the con gregation. And Chasan’s socially oriented sermons often carry an unabashedly progressive politi cal message. Just last week, the synagogue hosted a guest talk by a representative of the Pales tinian Liberation Organization. Why is Beth Yishra different from all other shuls? Unlike the Orthodox congregations, the new synagogue will encourage equal participation by women. And unlike Ohavi Zedek and Temple Sinai, Sabbath services at Beth Yishra will include full Torah readings and prayer repe titions. Jerry Nahmias, the group’s secular leader, explains that the new congregation’s phi losophy is reflected in its name. “Beth Yishra” means House of Righteousness, he translates, “as in straight and narrow. The name exemplifies tradition. “You can come from any where in the country and the service will feel familiar,” says Nahmias. “The melodies, repe tition and timing will be the same as in Conservative congre gations all over the country.” Nahmias won’t specify how many members Beth Yishra will have, but he does say that inter est is coming not just from Ohavi Zedek, but also from Jews who are currently unaffili ated with any synagogue, from as far away as Montreal and St. Johnsbury. “I’m not recruiting anyone, and I’m not congrega tion-raiding. Right now we

identity of Ohavi Zedek, Chasan explains, “I’m a very traditional Jew, and I serve a traditional congregation. We are committed to a liturgy that’s in Hebrew, that follows the forms of the traditional service, and has the feel of a traditional ser vice. The changes that the new prayer book makes in the Hebrew are mostly changes that reflect contemporary relation ships between the Jewish and the non-Jewish worlds.” In the new siddur, prayers referring to the Jews as the cho n personal terms, services at sen people use new language Beth Yishra will recreate the that avoids negative compar isons with Gentiles, stressing tenor and tempo of worship at the Conservative Connecti instead the concept of “divine cut synagogue in which Jerry service.” Chasan is less happy Nahmias grew up. In years past, about another change, in which he and his family attended a reference to God resurrecting O.Z. regularly. From 1986 until the dead is replaced with one 1991, he served as president of about God giving life to every the synagogue’s Board of thing. “Personally, I don’t like Governors. But as new melodies that change,” he concedes. and other innovations were “When I pray privately, I pray gradually added to the service, the old words. But when it came time to choose a new Nahmias says, he realized that his “comfort level at the syna book, it was clear to me that gogue was diminishing. It was the vast majority of people sit n’t charging my batteries any ting in the pews preferred the new language.” more.” Nahmias and other mem But members of Beth Yishra bers of Ohavi Zedek who have say they don’t prefer the new decided to join Beth Yishra say language, and consider the new their move isn’t motivated by book a sign of a major philo the synagogue’s social atmos sophical shift. “The siddur phere, but rather its liturgical undermines the idea of God on stance. The final straw came for high,” suggests Nahmias. “God them two years ago, they say, is supposed to be a little fearful when the Conservative congre and awe-inspiring. The Torah gation decided to replace its shows God as exhibiting anger old, worn prayer books — and wrath, not just forgiveness. which were purchased in 1952 “There’s a respect that’s — with a text published in needed,” he continues. “You’re 1996 by Reconstructionist Jews. not going to go bowling togeth In practice, Reconstruction er. No matter how close we Judaism is nearly identical to may feel, we’re not God.” Conservative Judaism. Another Beth Yishrite, Al Philosophically, the movement Frank, says he’s bothered by promotes a view of religious Ohavi Zedek’s inclusionary humanism in which God is practice of adding the Biblical understood as a source of social matriarchs — Sarah, Rebecca, liberation and human fulfill Rachel and Leah — to prayers ment. that traditionally list only the Harvey Klein, who co patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and chaired the committee that Jacob. “Just because I talk to selected the text, says that the my father on the phone doesn’t new prayer book, or siddur, was mean I should also talk to my have a small core group and a larger group of people on the periphery,” he says. The group hopes to begin holding Saturday morning ser vices the second week of January, with Nahmias — who says he gave up an opportunity to become a rabbi in order to pursue a career as a music edu cator — leading the prayers and delivering the sermon. A hired cantor, Sam Margulies, will do the Torah readings.

“G od is su p p o se d to be a little fearful and a w e -in sp irin g .... Y o u ’re not going to g o bowling together.” ~ lerry N ah m ia s chosen in spite of, rather than because of, its Reconstructionist orientation. The siddur’s gen der-neutral references to God — in the English — were a major plus, says Klein. Another was the layout, with Hebrew and English printed side by side, making it easier for con gregants to follow the meaning of the Hebrew. Klein also appreciated the quality of the translations. “They’re very poet ic and they invite a kind of meditation and self-reflection that for me is very engaging,” he says. As for the book’s contents and what they mean to the

mother,” Frank argues. Laurie Parker, a former member of O .Z.’s Board of Governors, says that she plans to maintain her affiliation with both congregations. But she worries that the new siddurs format will make it harder for young people like her 13-yearold son to follow the old-style Conservative services they’re likely to encounter when they leave Vermont. “When it comes to religion, I like to think there’s something more tradi tional about it, because every thing else changes so fast. I like

Continued on next page

Burlington’s Little Jerusalem 'V.

1 y hen Beth Yishra, Burlington’s new T T Conservative con gregation, holds its first Saturday morning service in the old Archibald Street syna gogue, Burlington’s Jewish community will be coming full circle. The name painted over the front doors, Ahavath Gerim, refers to the tiny, aging Orthodox congregation from whom Beth Yishra is renting the space. But from 1887, when it was built, until 1952, when its congregants moved into a new facility on North Prospect Street, the red brick synagogue was home to Ohavi Zedek. A little over 100 years ago, the area around Archibald, Hyde and Bright Streets in Burlington’s Old North End was a virtual shtetL About 160 Jews — most of them refugees from poverty and religious per secution around Kovno, Lithuania — lived in what was then the rural, village-like out skirts of the city. The Yiddish speaking residents called their neighborhood “Little Jerusalem,” and had very little do to with their FrenchCanadian and Irish neighbors. As in the Old World, they took their internal disputes to a Bet Din Torah — a council of community leaders. The kosher meat they all ate was available at two local butcher shops, and a special tax on the meat helped pay the ritual slaughterer’s salary. Nearly everyone observed the Sabbath, and those who did not avoided driving past the synagogue on Saturday for fear of being stoned. The syna gogue was Orthodox, with men sitting downstairs and women above in a screened-off balcony. The synagogue’s name, Ohavi Zedek, means Lovers of Justice. The story of Little Jerusalem is told in an anecdo tal history penned and selfpublished in 1976 by Myron Samuelson, a local Burlington resident. Twenty years later, University of Vermont gradu ate student Richard Bercuvitz devoted his master’s thesis to filling the gaps in Samuelson’s work. According to both sources, the Jews of Little Jerusalem were united within their single house of worship until 1889, when a second synagogue, Chai Adam (Life of Man), was built on Hyde Street, just a few hundred feet from Ohavi Zedek. W hat caused this schism is unclear, but some local historians sug gest that it resulted from a dis agreement over a violation of Sabbath laws. The building that was Chai Adam was con verted into apartments some years ago. From the outside, the tall, arched windows and

the bowed bimah that held the holy ark containing the Torah are still visible at 105 Hyde Street. Around the turn o f the century, a second wave of immigrants, many of them fleeing government-sponsored anti-Semitic violence in Russia, arrived in Burlington. The city’s Jewish population swelled to 540, nearly all of them landing in Little Jerusalem. But weaving these new-comers into the tightly knit fabric of the community wasn’t a smooth process. In 1906, the new arrivals, feeling unwelcome by the more estab lished members of Ohavi Zedek and Chai Adam, opened a synagogue of their own, across the street from Ohavi Zedek. They called it Ahavath Gerim — Love of Strangers. Little Jerusalem continued to grow. By the end of the 1930s, more than a thousand Jews lived in Burlington. A Hebrew Free School on North Winooski Avenue — in a building that is now Vermont Legal Aid — doubled as a community center. O n High Holidays, so many of the neighborhood students stayed home to attend s e r v te that H .O . Wheeler School was nearly empty. SomeMembers o f the ; r community prospered, but others did not. At Alex Colodny’s grocery store, which stood across the street from the synagogue, on the lot that is now Little Park, interest-free loans were available for those who needed them. Two gener ations of Catholic Dr. McSweeneys, father and son, provided free medical care to those who couldn’t afford to pay. In 1939, the hardships of the Depression forced the three synagogues to merge into a single congregation, which went under the banner of Ohavi Zedek, and the commu nity was once again united — at least administratively.

abbi Max Wall recalls that when he came to town in 1946, still wearing his Army uniform, he walked into a community that was straddling two worlds. Wall was educated at a Conservative seminary, while his predecessor on the pulpit had been Orthodox. The older generation, most of whom still lived in Little Jerusalem, spoke Yiddish and ran traditional, Orthodox households. The younger members, many of whom had bought homes as far away as upper North Street and Loomis Street, smoked, drove cars, and played golf on Saturday.

The new rabbi instituted a number of modernizations. He delivered his sermons in English and wore an academic gown, like a Protestant minis ter. Unlike traditional rabbis, who tolerated a goodly amount of background chatter in shut, Wall demanded com plete silence when he preached. In 1952, the congregation moved into its current facility on North Prospect Street. The original prayer books were replaced with a new edition, and the sanctuary invited mixed seating. Some of the old-timers, feeling uncomfort able with these innovations, decided not to make the move up the hill. They bought the old brick building, re-instated Orthodox services, and adopt ed a name that had been unused for 13 years: Ahavath Gerim. Much has changed in Burlington’s Jewish communi ty since 1952. The old city of Little Jerusalem is all but gone. Jews who move to the area today are more likely to be immigrants from New Jersey than from Eastern Europe. Inter-marriage has become much more commonplace, feminist ideals have become mainstream, and the percent age o f Jews who are formally affiliated with — of regularly attend — synagogues has sharply declined. Temple Sinai, a Reform congregation, opened its doors in 1966, in part to accommo date inter-married couples who didn’t feel welcome at Ohavi Zedek. In 1983, Lubavitch of Vermont began offering traditional, Orthodox services. Rabbi Wall retired from Ohavi Zedek in 1987, and in 1991, the congregation hired Rabbi Joshua Chasan. And now, unhappy about recent changes at Ohavi Zedek, some of the more tra ditionally oriented congregants are once again moving back down the hill. Chasan argues that the policies to which the Beth Yishrites object are the syna gogue’s response to a congrega tion that’s more diverse than ever, including life-long Vermonters with traditional backgrounds, recent converts, inter-married couples and every other variety of Jew. Ninety-two years ago, mem bers left Ohavi Zedek and formed the original Ahavath Gerim because the old syna gogue wasn’t considered sufficiendy welcoming to strangers. Ironically, it now seems as if the synagogue’s current efforts to make more people feel wel come are exactly what’s prompting some members to break away, (f) -R .H .

december 9, 1998

SEVEN DAYS

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to think there’s something that’s a constant.” Beth Yishrites insist that they’re not trying to turn their old synagogue into a house of prayer divided. “This is not based on anger,” says Nahmias. “It’s not about right and wrong. I didn’t feel chased out.” Frank adds, “This is good ness. It’s not a break-away, but a growth.” And Parker promises, “I don’t intend to cut any ties. I like to build bridges. I don’t think anyone should feel threatened by any of this.” Back at Ohavi Zedek, con gregants seem less threatened than puzzled — so far, the only member of Beth Yishra to come out in public has been Nahmias — and disappointed. Judy Hershberg, who became the congregation’s first woman president in 1985, and whose grandchildren now attend the Hebrew School, sighs, “I feel very deeply about this particu lar congregation. I feel it’s the same Conservative congrega tion it always has been. As our population has become more diverse and younger, things are not exactly as they were. But I don’t see that as a negative,” she adds. “I’m sorry we couldn’t resolve people’s dissatisfactions !1 here.” - - rorqual O “I’m really sorry that folks from O.Z. feel it necessary to go somewhere else,” agrees Chasan. “I had a friend in Connecticut who used to say, ‘We may not have it all togeth er, but together, we have it all.’” But beyond its internal effect on his synagogue, Chasan acknowledges that the new congregation may be meeting a real need in the region’s expanding Jewish com munity. “If what they are about is forming a shut with full repe tition of the prayers that need to be repeated and a full Torah reading, then they will fill a real vacuum in town. I wish them well.” Some time next year, Beth Yishra plans to celebrate with a grand opening party. In the meantime, members have been organizing themselves and sprucing up their rented space. One job they hadn’t counted on was the removal of a swasti ka that recently appeared on the synagogue’s outside wall — a sad reminder that petty squabbles within the communi ty still pale in comparison to real threats from outside. Some cosmetic refurbishing is in store for the old building, but, appropriately enough, no reconstruction. And the old, worn prayer books no longer being used at Ohavi Zedek? For the time being, at least, they’re getting a new lease on life. Ohavi Zedek is lending the set to Beth Yishra. ®

B y David H ealy

Eco-activist Bobby Kennedy Jr. I gets down to r Earth

he man who would be king — or at least U.S. Senator — is due to arrive in Burlington this Friday. And while Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. isn’t coming to the University of Vermont’s Ira Allen Chapel for his corona tion, he will ascend the pulpit to address his subjects on a topic dear to the royal heart: the environment. Kennedy, who’s become one of the country’s most influential environmental activists, in large part through his work fighting for the health of the Fludson River, is expected to address the threats facing Vermont’s water ways and the role of its citizens in protecting them. And while more than a few might be tempted to attend simply to catch a glimpse of Camelot, past history suggests that his words will be even more rous ing than that unmistakable Kennedy visage. “When I see him speak, I see his father,” admits Mark Naud, a Burlington environ mental lawyer who heard Kennedy lecture on a regular basis while attending law school at Pace University in White Plains, New York. But it was an extemporane ous speech marking the 10th anniversary of the inception of the Pace Environmental Law Program — where Kennedy serves as a faculty member and co-director of the school’s Environmental Litigation

speech will serve as the frame work for Kennedy’s Burlington address, Naud confirms. Despite the benign title, the treatise is really a call to arms for the environmental move ment, and for society as a whole. Beginning with the sci entific proposition that we’re in the midst of the largest mass extinction in the history of the planet — as many as half the species on Earth are predicted to disappear during our lifetime — Kennedy contrasts the fail ure of the environmental move ment to establish inalienable rights with the successes of the labor and civil rights move ments championed by his father and others. “Those movements [were] fought battle by battle, lunch counter by lunch counter, bus by bus, to secure rights,” he claims, employing classic Clinic — that “sent goosebumps down the audience’s spine,” and led to a group effort to put Kennedy’s message to paper. Originally published in the Pace Environmental Law Review under the title, “Thoughts on Environmental Rights and Ownership,” the

Kennedy contrasts the failure of the environmental movement to establish inalienable rights with the successes of the labor and civil rights movements

Kennedy syntax. / ‘Once those rights were generally recog nized, nobody has been able to take them away.. .We need to inculcate the concept that every citizen has a right to a safe and healthy environment. Our fail ure to persuade people on this has been the principal failure of the environmental movement.” Kennedy advises environ mental leaders to seek out a public debate. “We want people to understand that they own the environment,” he says. Naud characterizes his for mer mentor and law school professor as “a really tenacious and ruthless advocate when it comes to issues he cares about, especially the environment, but also a really charming and per sonable guy.” Kennedy possess es, too, unparalleled negotiating skills, Naud adds. Recently, the man New York magazine once dubbed “The Kennedy W ho Matters” has been credited with brokering a far-reaching New York City watershed agreement that’s expected to bring millions of dollars, and environmental pro tection, to waterways as far as 100 miles north of the city. The beauty of the agreement, says Naud, is that it will take substantially less money to prevent pollution at the source than to treat contaminated water down stream.-'-- : ' ; -•' ^Tne banks o f the Hudson •? | where Kennedy lives and practices his brand o f legal activism as the Chief '

championed by his father and others.

Continued on next page

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Prosecuting Attorney for the watchdog group the Hudson Riverkeeper — has long been the cradle of environmental law. Three decades ago, a court decision that gave legal stand ing to citizens opposed to a nearby pump and power facili ty on purely aesthetic grounds blazed a trail for much of today’s environmental litiga tion. Although Kennedy has often declined to run for public office, and recently indicated he will not seek the U.S. Senate seat formerly held by his father, he views himself as much a politician as an attorney. “My work is politics,” he’s asserted in past interviews. Environ mental issues are political issues.” Not surprisingly, Kennedy adopts a populist position on

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endangered species and the economic value of the environ ment. “We are not protecting the spotted owls for their own merit,” he says. “We are strug gling to preserve those ancient forests in the Northwest because we believe they are more valuable to humanity standing than they are cut down,” he inveighs. While some in the environ mental movement may take issue with this anthropocentric world view, Kennedy’s creden tials as an outdoorsman remain unquestioned. He’s both a cer tified wildlife rehabilitator and a master falconer. By all accounts, he’s also an accom plished whitewater paddler, having recorded first descents down scores of remote rivers around the world. Fortuitously, board mem bers at the Vermont Natural Resources Council and the }[ '•>h k-4 !

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Vermont Public Interest Group had sufficient “connections to Bobby” to bring the man and his message to Vermont, explains Naud, who is the VNRC conduit. Though the groups tend to work opposite shores of the same environmen tal body — occasionally casting for the same cash caught mid stream — the pending Clean Water Act reauthorization in Washington and Vermont’s review of its own water quality standards, for the first time in a decade, made the timing right for cooperation, acknowledges Naud. Cut in his father’s image, but with a Teddy Roosevelt pedigree, Kennedy is likely to be considered more a Renais sance thinker than a ’90s Rough Rider. As such, he’s apt to draw together diverse politi cal, artistic and spiritual strands supporting the wisdom of pro tecting the environment in Vermont and around the coun ty “Emerson and Thoreau, having kicked off the traces of our European heritage, pro claimed that Americans who seek to hear the voice of God must go into the forest and lis ten to the rustle of the leaves and the songs of the birds,” Kennedy writes. “The American soul, they believed, could best be seen in the mir ror of Walden Pond.” ^ ^A /fem edy n o 'd o u b r’! understands, the looking-glass of Lake Champlain can well be reflected back on the Vermont audience. As state Natural Resources Agency Secretary John Kassel confirmed recently in an op-ed piece in The Burlington Free Press, the cul prits of our water pollution are less and less corporate villains at the end of a sewage pipe. Instead, Kassel says, he has seen the enemy and it is us — all of us affect the quality of our environment, and our cumula tive impact is large. There’s a natural tendency to bristle at the notion that we live in a world of fixed resources and personal sacrifice. Kennedy himself is optimistic about the potential for environmental technology to create jobs in America, but he also likes to invoke and embellish on the old aboriginal saying, “We don’t inherit this planet from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.” “If we don’t return to [our children] something that is roughly the equivalent of what we received,” he adds, striking the chords like the lawyer, politician and Kennedy that he is, “they’ll have the right to ask us some very difficult ques tions.” 0 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. will speak at Ira Allen Chapel Friday, December 11, at 7 p.m. For info, call 223-5221.

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Burlington College offers accredited BA. degree programs in Interdisciplinary Humanities, Psychology, Transpersonal Psychology, Human Services, Fine Arts, Cinema Studies and Film Production, and Writing and Literature, as well as student-designed majors. Certificate programs are available in Paralegal Studies, Computer Software, and Cinema Studies and Film Production. Registration period fo r Spring ’9 9 Semester is fanuary 20-22. For more information please call (1-800) 8629616. For com plete details on these an d other courses, ask f o r y o u r f r e e copy o f o u r Spring ’9 9 Course Bulletin.

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december 9, 1998

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f you’re facing the annual dilemma of what to get for the outdoor activist in your life — especially the buff who seems to have everything — how about an alternative to more “stuff?” Don’t get me wrong — stuff can be good, and necessary. Still, gear-head types often have very specific ideas about what constitutes the right stuff, so your potential for getting the wrong stuff is huge.

That’s why you can’t really blow it by giving the gift of adventure. A new experience may last much longer in the memory banks than a wellintentioned but soon-dismissed gadget — like, say, that Swiss Army Lemon Zester-Laser Pointer-Cigar Cutter-Rectal Thermometer you gave last year. Besides, people often talk about doing new things and never get around to them; giv ing a bought-and-paid-for adventure will make it happen.

Vermont offers some truly amazing things to do outdoors, and there are skilled guides available for most of them, ready and willing to take your loved one on a grand adven ture. In fact, these activities may sound like so much fun that you’ll add them to your own list for Santa.

Fly Fishing— TheO rvis Company has been the source for this venerable sport since 1856. Their fly-fishing school in Manchester, started in 1969, is the oldest in the country, and more than 1200 people go through their site each year. The most popular offering is a two-and-a-half-day course, priced at $395, available from mid-April to mid-October. Would-be Hemingways start out learning the basics of cast ing in a pond, benefit from videotaped reviews of technique and end up trying their luck in the legendary Battenkill River. Info, 1-800-235-9763.

They have gentle tempera ments, and they are “gaited,” which means they have two additional ways of moving that other horses do not. They can “tolt,” which is a four-beat run ning walk, or they can “pace,” which is a lateral two-beat gait. Short and stocky, Icelandic horses can carry more than 200 pounds without trouble — sort of the Jeeps of the equestrian world. With the Vermont Icelandic Horse Farm in Waitsfield, you can go out for an hour-and-a-quarter for $40, or do a luxurious five-day, fournight inn-to-inn tour for $1050. Info, 802-496-7141. or one-stop shopping, call Gray Stevens and his merry band of enthusiasts at Adventure Guides of Vermont in North Ferrisburgh. For more than four years Gray has contracted with experienced outdoorsmen and women from around the state, and the menu his firm offers is truly astound-

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Snowshoeing —You might think this relatively sim ple activity wouldn’t require a guide, but there are advantages to having someone around who understands proper use and technique, not to mention serv ing as a trained naturalist. Besides, when the guide knows where to go, and brings along the Cold Hollow hot cider and Cabot cheese, why not just pay the $25 for the equipment and service and enjoy the threehour outing? Umiak Outdoor Outfitters in Stowe offers a variety of snowshoe trips. A special treat are the moonlight tours, where the light of the sil very moon reflecting off the white snow is pure magic. Info, 802-253-2317.

ing — more than 70 different trips and outings. A gift certifi cate will allow your Significant Someones to pick the sport or activity that floats their boats. Some of the more unusual adventures include:

lnn-to-lnn Kayaking — Paddle a stable sea kayak from point to point on expansive Lake Champlain and experi ence the water and wildlife up close and peaceful. At night, stay in a cozy inn, where a fine meal will be served, thus elimi nating the twin hassles of a gorp-and-freeze-dried cuisine and a lumpy campsite with a leaky air mattress. Three-day trips, including rooms, meals and kayaks, are $495.

Dogsledding—when Icelandic Horseback Tours — Isolated on the rugged terrain of Iceland since the 10th century, this breed of horses has evolved differently.

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Continued on next page december 9, 1998

SEVEN DAYS

page 21

Jock of all...

Continued from page 21 handling techniques, and work ing with the canine team. This could be the start of the next Iditarod winner. Make it a \ party if you want, at $115 per person.

Falconry —

If your guy or gal likes big birds, give the gift of time with a professional fal coner to observe how they train and work with hawks. The time includes a hike through a wildlife preserve and watching the raptors capture their prey. This is a close encounter not soon forgotten. Up to four peo ple can go along for a day’s out ing, for $200 total.

Skijoring — Does the per son on your list think cross country skiing is boring, or too

much work? Well, let them try this Scandinavian version. They’ll head out with a guide and a horse, then, with a rope attached to the horse’s saddle, they’ll be towed across the win

tours are offered by Bryan Pfeiffer, host of the popular WDEV radio show on bird watching. Info, 802-223-3042.

trips into the lift-free Slide Brook area. Info, 1-800-53SUGAR.

Hiking/Walking—Try Canoeing — Vermont

What makes an inn-to-inn trip spe cial is the “two-for-one” aspect: days spent enjoying the countryside and evenings of first-class pig-outs.

Vermont Walking Tours in Craftsbury for a wide variety of trips. Info, 1-800-729-7751 .

Hot Air Ballooning — The Stoweflake Inn in Stowe takes people up, up and away from late spring through fall. Info, 1-800-253-2232.

Inn-to-lnn Tours —You ter landscape on skis. The cost is $60 per person. For info about any of these Adventure Guides of Vermont trips, call 1-800-425-8747. Still other options include the following:

Bird Watching —

W A R E H O U S E

Waterways in East Hardwick has numerous half- and full-day trips. Info, 1-800-492-8271

Cross-Country Skiing — Nordic Adventures in Rochester. Info, 802-796-3996.

Downhill Skiing — Guided

Sugarbush Resort offers guided

can go by foot, bike, cross country skis, canoe, horseback or with llamas. W hat makes an inn-to-inn trip special is the “two-for-one” aspect: days spent enjoying the countryside and evenings of first-class pig-outs followed by cozy comfort. Many of the guides in this article offer this type of trip, so just ask.

Llama Trekking — check in with Geoff and Lindsey Chandler at the Northern Vermont Llama Company in Waterville. Info, 802-644-2257.

Mountain Bikes Touring — Call The Mountain Bike Touring Center at the Hyde Away Inn in Waitsfield, 1-800777-4933.

Road Bike Touring — Vermont Bike Touring in Bristol has been leading tours all over Vermont and the world for 25 years. Info, 802-4534811.

Sailing — The International Sailing School on beautiful Malletts Bay will turn a land lubber into an old salt. Info, 802-864-9065.

S A L E

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page 22

SEVEN DAYS

december 9, 1998

Scuba Diving —

Explore the history o f the famous boat ' wrecks on the bottom of Lake Champlain, or get certified for your next trip to the Caribbean, The Waterfront Diving Center in Burlington will fix you up. Info, 1-800-283-7282.

Sculling —

A gift certificate to the famous annual Summer Sculling Camp at the Craftsbury Sports Center might open up new horizons of fitness. Info, 1-800-729-7751. There are so many different guided trips and adventures to try in Vermont that it would take a lifetime to experience them all. The good news is that adventure-giving could turn into a holiday tradition, and end your dilemma once and for a ll.®

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teenagers spent an average of 85 percent of their class time thinking about sex. “Do you know what 85 percent of a 40minute class is?”he asked. “Don’t ask me,” I said. “I’m not that good at math.”

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SEVEN DAYS

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“I shouldn’t wonder,” said Mr. Dingier. “Now then. Is there anything you’d like to tell me about your date with Freddy last night?” Mr. Dingier squared up a little stack of files on his desk. “Did he try any thing?” he asked evenly. Mr. Dingier was a perfectly normal-looking man with a big white face and a crew cut who asked a lot of personal ques tions in the name of science and guidance. He had identi fied Freddy Birtsch and me as the most intractable of his cases and was curious to see what would happen if we mated. He pressed us to date and then, having confirmed our arrange ments, would interview us sepa rately the next day. Freddy and I both had ambitions in the writing trade and needed little encourage ment to entertain our guidance counselor with wildly exagger ated accounts of our encoun ters. When I reported my ver sion of the night before, Mr. Dingier would giggle just like a girlfriend and praise me for my boldness and candor, although afterwards he would hint that I had perhaps left out of my account some great, essential detail, which he would be pleased to hear when I felt ready to tell him. “Don’t hold back,” cautioned Mr. Dingier, “keeping secrets about sex is the number-one cause of nervous breakdowns.” | > As the holiday season approached, I saw less and less of Freddy, who was writing that year’s Christmas play. The more involved Freddy became with the play, the deeper I got into manufacturing tales for Mr. Dingier, who was as responsive an audience as a writer could

wish for. Upon leaving his office, I would skulk about the halls and wait for Freddy to emerge from gym class so I could deliver to him the latest installment of our love story. But no matter how exotic the tale, Freddy’s interest was else where. And no matter how much I begged him, he would tell me nothing about what he was writing, except that it was to be the first Christmas play in the history of our high school that had a political theme — it was about the commercializa tion of Christmas, was all he

For one, long moment, not a creature was stirring in the auditorium as the student body considered the question of Santa Claus’ personal life. Then, a dozen or so girls, hav ing reached a terrible new understanding of how things stood in the world, leapt from their seats as if ejected, screamed as if stabbed, and ran out of the auditorium as if it were burning. “Drop your books — pass it down,” said the boy sitting next to me. Had so many books ever hit the floor in such swift succes

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“Don’t hold back,” cautioned Mr. Dingier, “keeping secrets about sex is the number-one cause of nervous breakdowns.” would say. Although the play was advertised in the school paper as being called “The Commercialization O f Christmas',” everyone knew it had a secret, less didactic name that would be revealed at show time. Which it was, when Freddy Birtsch burst through the curtains and announced that the name of the play was, “Does Santa Claus Fuck?”

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SEVEN

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page 25

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cats and kittens — if Four Piece Suit doesn’t mix your martinis — and your metaphors — you’d better go home and change. These Boston instrumental swingers — who grew out of the rockin’ Barrence Whitfield and the Savages — growl and purr through the wackiest repertoire you'd ever want on your coolsville soundtrack. From Finnish surf tango to beach-blanket boogie, this oughta suit just fine. At Metronome this Friday.

SLIP SLIDIN’ THIS WAY

What sets The Slip apart from other

groove/improv bands? Well, they rented a roller rink for their Halloween gig. They’ve shared stages with acts as diverse as Bread & Puppet Theater and String Cheese Incident. They also like to gig with another Boston-based band, Miracle Orchestra, and that’s exactly what they’re gonna do this Saturday at Higher Ground. Slip into something

where to go

BEST DRESSED «=,.

After Dark Music Senes, Knights of Columbus Hall, Midctlebury, 388 -0 2 1 6. Alley-Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Boony’s, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-271 1. Brewski, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5432. BU Emporium, Bellwood Shpg. Ctr., Colchester, 6 58-4292. B.W.’s Restaurant, 1 Tovvne Mktpl., Essex Jet., 879-0752. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cafe Banditos, Mountain Rd., Jeffersonville, 644-8884. Cafe Ole, North Common, Chelsea, 685-2173. Cafe Swift House, 25 Stewart Lane, Middlebury, 388-9925. Cambridge Coffee House. Smugglers’ Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644 -2 2 3 3. Charlie O's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chicken Bone, 43 King St., Burlington, 864-9674. Chow! Bella. 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington. 865-4563. Club Toast, 165 Church, Burlington, 660-2088. Cobbweb. Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Diamond Jim's Guile, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Emerald City. 114 River St., Montpelier. 223-7007. Franny O's 7 3 3 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Gallagher's, Rt. 100 & 17, Waitsfield, 4 96-8800. Giorgio's Cafe, Tucker Hill Lodge, Rt. 17, Waitsfield, 496 -3 9 8 3. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village. Rt. 116, 482-4444. Greatful Bread, 65 Pearl St., Essex Jet.. 878-4466. Ground Round, 1633 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-1122. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's. Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd.. S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 2 23-2895. Jake's, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. LaBrioche, 89 Main St., Montpelier, 229-0443. Last Chance Saloon, 147 Main, Burlington. 862-5159. Leunig’s, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Live Art at the Barre Opera House, Barre, (schedule) 8 83-9307; (tickets) 476-8188. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Main St. Bar & Grill, 118 Main St., Montpelier. 223-3188. Manhattan Pizza, 167 Main St., Burlington. 658-6776. Monopoles, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, 5 18-563-2222. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington. 658-4771. The Night Spot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 -9 8 8 5 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 22-3035. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Red Square. 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rude Dog, 14 Green St.. Vergennes, 877-2034. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St., Burlington, 863-5637. Slammer, Rt. 7, Milton, 893-3454. Something Cool, 22 Bnnkerhoff St., Plattsburgh, NY, 518 -5 6 3 -8 63 9 . Swany's, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 6 44-5736. Thrush Tavern, 107 State St., Montpelier, 223-2030. Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4, Killington. 4 22-5019. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655 -9 5 4 2. Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 8 70 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 65-6600. Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496 -3 4 0 9. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington. 862-6585.

WEDNESDAY JON LORENTZ DUO (jazz), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. N C . KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC . DISCO FUNK (DJs John Demus & Tim Diaz), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. THE BLAME (rock; C D release party), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. N C . SANDRA WRIGHT (blues diva), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC . COSMIC LOUNGE (DJ Mike Spearz), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $1/4. METRO M ASSIVE (hip-hop/dancehall DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N C . KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. SWING SHIFT (jazz/blues/ragtime trio), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. Donations. JAIN A SKY, HOSEMOBILE, SCHLEIGHO (jazz fusion, instr. jazzrock), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $2/4. LAMBSBREAD (reggae), Emerald City Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. $5/8. TNT (DJ & karaoke), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. N C .

THURSDAY KATHERINE (WINN (singer-songwriter), Living/Learning, UVM , 8 p.m. N C . JODY ALBRIGHT (jazz vocalist), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. N C . CRAIG HURWITZ (acoustic jam), Sweetwaters, 8:30 p.m. NC . RED BEANS & RICE (jump blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC . DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND,

Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. N C . -"rax-" BABALOO (punk mambo), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. THE MACHINE (rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $10.

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JAZZ QUARTET, Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. N C . JALAPENO BROS, (acoustic rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. N C . ACOUSTIC JAM W/HANNIBAL HILL (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. N C . LOCOMOTION (DJ Little Martin/’70s disco), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. N C . GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. N C . DAVE ABAIR BAND (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. N C . EVERYTHING, THE ROCKETT BAND (modern rock/groove), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $7. KARAOKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC . HALF STEP (Dead/orig.), M onopole’s, 10 p.m. N C . DJ & KARAOKE, Thirsty Turtle, 9:30 p.m. N C . DJ PARTY, Gallagher’s, 8:30 p.m. $4/6. MARK LEGRAND (Americana), Thrush Tavern, 7:30 p.m. N C . THE H0SEM0BILE, JAINA SKY (instr. jazz-rock, jazz fusion), Emerald City Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. $3/5. OPEN MIKE, Swany’s, 9 p.m. N C . RUSTIC OVERTONES, IMOGEN HEAP, KING RADIO (groove rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $5.

11 FRIDAY PICTURE THIS (jazz), Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. N C . JOE CAPPS (jazz), Sai-Gon Cafe, 7 p.m. N C . BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC . MUNDAY PETERSON (singer-song writer), Borders, 8 p.m. N C . GOLDBERG DOES GOLDBERG (music/spoken word/perf. w/Steve Goldberg, Rachel Bissex & friends), Rhombus, 8:30 p.m. $5-7. MARK BRISS0N (acoustic rock), Sweetwaters, 8:30 p.m. N C . PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. N C , followed by DJ

weekly

NIGHT, 10 p.m. N C . LEFT EYE JUMP (Delta blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C . EVOLUTION (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. FOUR PIECE SUIT (swing), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. VIPERH0USE (acid jazz), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $6/8. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. N C . JETHRO MONEY (rock/r&b), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. HARD LUCK (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. N C . COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. SMOKIN’ GUN (rock), Franny O ’s, 9 p.m. N C . ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N C . ADAM ROSENBERG (acoustic), Ground Round, 8 p.m. NC. EAST COAST MUSCLE (blues/rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. SETH YAC0V0NE, TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES, BIG DADDY & UNCLE STEVE (blues, gospel/blues; double C D release party), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $ 6.

ALEX SMITH (jazz), Tavern at Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. N C . SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC . DANCIN’ DEAN (country dance & instruction), Cobbwebb, 7:30 p.m. $5. LIVE JAZZ, Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC . QUADRA (classic rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. LYNN ANDERSON & JOHN LINCOLN (standards), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $7.50. ALLEY CATS (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $4/7. HIGH FLYING GARGOYLES, GOOD CLEAN MUD (freak rock, bluegrass/trad.), The Brewski, 9 p.m. $3. T >' MIKE MURDOCH’S VT ALLSTARS (rock/r&b), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. 27 DOWN, DEAD HIPPY, Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/5. HOTHOUSE (Top 40 dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $4/5.

listings

C4 (rock), Rude Dog Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. ' J0HN MCCUTCHE0N (folk legend), Live Art at Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 7:30 p.m. $15/17. THE MIGHTY CHIHUAHUAS (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3, followed by CRUMB (alt-rock), 9:15 p.m. $7. ELBOW (rock), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $3.

12 SATURDAY BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance Saloon, 7:30 p.m. NC. Z0E LEWIS W/PETER DONNELLY (singer-songwriter), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $

NO INHIBITIONS ALLOWED Burlington’s Belizbeha spend more time on the road than at home these days — more

DAVE JARVIS (solo pop rock), Rasputin’s, 8 p.m. N C . BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, BLUES 2YA, REDNECK ALIENS, CHRISTY BLUHM & THE VIBR0KINGS, JULIE TILLER BAND {Best o f the Green M ountain Blues Vol. 3 C D release party), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. N C . FACT0RIA (DJ Little Martin), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. DJ NIGHT (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. JAMES HARVEY BAND (jazz), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC . BELIZBEHA (acid soul, funk), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $7/9 BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (rocka billy; fifth anniversary party) Club Metronome, 7 p.m. $4, followed by RETR0N0ME (DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. N C . KARAOKE, J.p.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC . HIP-HOP NIGHT, Ruben James, 11 p.m. N C . LIFE IS ELSEWHERE (rock) Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. SOLOMONIC SOUND SYSTEM (reg gae DJ), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. $1. SUPER X-MAS PARTY W/RUSS & CO. (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. N C . COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. GUY C0LASACC0 (singer-songwriter), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC .

than 150 shows per year. But this Saturday they make their way back for their last show at Club Toast, which closes after New Year’s Eve — all the more reason to get out and get down.

BOB GESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC . ADAM ROSENBERG (acoustic), Ground Round, 8 p.m. N C . THE SLIP, THE MIRACLE ORCHES TRA (groove rock), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $6. EAST COAST MUSCLE (blues/rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. ALEX SMITH (jazz), Tavern at Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. N C . BLUE VOODOO (blues-rock), Backstage Pub, 8:30 p.m. $2. SHANE & CHARLOTTE BRODY & FRIENDS (acoustic), Greatful Bread, noon. Donations. SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC . LIVE M USIC (country-rock; round & square dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. C4 (rock), Rude D og Tavern, 9 p.m. NC .

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QUADRA (classic rock), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. HAND SPUN (DJs), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/5. HIGH FLYING GARGOYLES, GOOD CLEAN MUD (groove-rock, blue grass/trad.), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. ZOLA TURN (alt-rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $4/7. HOTHOUSE (Top 40 dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $4/5. COBALT BLUE (blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. N C . THE MIGHTY CHIHUAHUAS (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3, followed by CRUMB (alt-rock), 9:15 p.m. $7. STAND UP EIGHT (rock), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $3.

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ment scene just grew a little fatter. Enter the Mountain Roadhouse on, of course, the Mountain Road. Owner Bobby Fletcher has turned the former Three Green Doors steakhouse into a blues house. The Dave Keller Blues Band has already rocked those hand-hewn rustic beams, and a full lineup of Vermont bands is on the calendar — Fletcher says he’s dedicat ed to hiring local talent. This is good news for, say, the bazillion bands on the Best o f the Green Mountain Blues CD released this week. “We’re here to express the music and let them have a good time,” says Fletcher. “I worked in South Carolina for a number of years, and the hospitality and music in the road houses was just great. That’s what I’m trying to get up here.”

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NUN SENSE Want to deliver — or receive — a medieval mes sage this holiday season? Try a Hildegram. Burlington vocalist Gail Ireland, formerly with the early music a cappella group Anima, is offering her singing services in a most unusual fash ion. Clad in a long black dress, and bearing optional candles, incense and/or a celebratory bottle of wine, Ireland will show up at your door with a mini-concert in the words of 12th-cen tury mystic Hildegard von Bingen. “I plan to go in and create an ambiance,” she says, “and have people tune in to the sound; I want to create a kind of atmosphere that might transport them somewhere.” And she’ll transport you back to the 20th century with some jazzier stuff. This itinerant vocal visitation will set you back $50 to $100, “depending on what people want,” Ireland says, noting that discounts are available. Call the Hildegram hotline at 802-652-0835.

standout. Everyone plays well here, with Lajoie and Lord laying down a solid, understated bed for Maynard and M ack to cut loose over. Still, I like a little more edge in my rockabilly than what the Black Cats deliver, and the cassette’s brevity is also a little disappoint

SETH YAC0V0NE BLUES BAND, YESSIR! (self-released C D ) — Seth Yacovone’s got to be riding high. Recently the 18-year-old blues guitarist/singer got the tap from Phish to join them onstage for a couple o f songs at the Worcester Centrum. T he audience didn’t number in the thousands at Club M etronom e M ay 22, 1998, the night the Seth Yacovone Blues Band recorded their new live album, Yessir!, but they played as if it did. It’s hard to be original in a genre as conventionbound as blues, and Yacovone’s no W illie D ixon when it com es to songwriting (who is?). But that said, these guys kick out a convinc ing variety o f blues stylings — plus a dash o f rockabilly — and let their instruments do m ost o f the talking.

W ith three songs over 11 minutes,

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this record’s not for the attentiondefecit-disordered. Even the title o f the opener, “Chunky Baby Crap Brown Haggis on Toast,” is longer than som e hardcore songs. Still, this tune has its m om ents, and starts o ff like “H and Jive” before breaking down into a couple o f Ailmanesque interludes. T h e follow ing track, “H ankey G oes to H ollyw ood ,” an upbeat, econom ical rockabilly instrumental, is one o f my favorites. Yessir! sounds clean and full, with production and m ixing by C huck Eller with help from M etronom e sound man Sergei Ushakov. M y one com plaint about the sound is that the drums seem to be mixed a little too hot and up front for a blues project. Luke Boggess’ harp sounds killer, though — there’s just enough distortion for that vintage sound. There’s som e nice interplay between Boggess’ harp and Yacovone’s fine slide work on “D on ’t Tell M e W hat to Feel,” and on the lengthier numbers bassist Tom m y C oggio and drummer Adam Kay also get into the improv act. D espite the occasional overblown guitar fireworks and the stumble or two that are unavoidable recording live, Yessir! is an in-focus snapshot o f an evolving band.

— Paul Gibson THE BEST OF THE GREEN MOUNTAIN BLUES, VOL 3 (self-released

double C D ) — Just as Burlington’s Discover Jazz Festival annually illuminates the best local jazz talent — not to m ention bring other wise dom iciled jazz fans out o f the w oodw ork — the appearance o f another Best o f the Green M ountain Blues heralds more blues w iz ardry in the state than anyone knew existed. O f course, there’s a lot o f sharing o f talent in these tracks: guitarists like Paul Asbell, N obby Reed, Dave Nerbak and Kip Meaker, for instance, make m ultiple appearances. T here’s also a very permissive definition o f

“blues,” and in m y opinion a few tracks here don’t really belong on a com pilation w ith that word in the title. That aside, “Mr. Charlie” Frazief musician and deejay (on W 1Z N ) and the man behind the curtain, has outdone him self once again with not one but two discs — a total o f 39 tracks! Talk about a bargain. G ood to know, too, that the proceeds go to Cam p Ta-Kum-Ta (volum es 1 & 2 have

SINGLE TRACKS You can catch Wide Wail on the air this

Friday on “Burlington & Beyond,” WWPV88.7 FM . . . Gadfly Records owner Mitch Cantor will be on The Point’s “Crossroads” with host Tim Downey this Sunday morning, with his new compilation CD, Gadfly Pie, in hand . . , And for a good ho-ho-ho-down, don’t miss the Christmas party hosted by

Band name of the week: Skeezix

lends the recording a certain retro warmth, but, being a little short on the menace also present in early rockabilly, M ore Fun W ith ... sounds a bit spongy at times. “Little Big G irl,” the opening track, is one o f the strongest. T he bass is snappin’ and guitar is twangin’, while the drums and piano shuffle and pound, respectively. T h e next song finds Buck o ff the wagon and “Back on the Rail A gain.” T his track has a frantic feel that goes well with its subject matter. “H illbilly Fun Park” is a rollicking instrumental a la Jim m y Bryant and Speedy West, featuring Buck picking. I liked the “Caledonia”style breaks in “Special Shake,” and M ack’s solo on this cut is a

MORE EBB AND FLOW This just in: Andy Greene, guitarist for Breakaway, is calling it quits after “a great 10 years” playing

with the Burlington bluegrass gods. Greene plans to go back to school for his bachelor’s degree in psychology, and continue giv ing guitar lessons. Awesome acoustic guitarists looking for a band with a label (Signature Sounds), get in line. Meanwhile, Currently Nameless are back in the groove. And still nameless ha ha. The band took a break after touring the Virgin Islands last spring — that’s gotta be rough — but are newly revived, as their appearance on The Point Monday night at 8 will surely demonstrate. Check the new and improved CN at Emerald City December 17, with Organic Groove Farmers.

lizes, according to Buck, “som e o f the vintage tube equipm ent that C huck has been collecting.” T his

ing. Guess I’ll have to go down to their fifth anniversary/release party to hear more. Get all Bucked up at Club M etronom e this Saturday. — Paul Gibson

IN WITH THE NEW Meanwhile, in Stowe, the slim entertain

extension — in the alley, cats. A $12 donation goes to the Burlington Community Health Center, helping keep people well, well, well. (7)

rrices starling at

page 28

SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY Now that Dennis Wygmans has con firmed the imminent sale of Club Toast to Club Extreme, everyone is getting all misty-eyed about their “last gig at Toast” this month. Include among them Belizbeha, who play there this Friday. “I have mixed emotions about it because I’m psy ched for Dennis and Justin [Wygmans] to move on with their careers, but I’m going to miss it — I’ve grown up with this place,’’ says rapper Fattie Bumbalattie, aka Kyle Thompson. “I appreciate the hard work they’ve put into the community, and we wish them well. But we’re going to do our best to go out with a bang.” Everyone will feel sad about this loss — and maybe not realize what they had till it’s gone. In that respect, Toast is the Hunt’s of this generation of bands and club-goers — in both cases, great live-music venues eventually faced declining audiences. Whatever the cause — the scene’s grown tired, the audience is aging and/or fickle, the population’s too small for all these entertainment options — the fact remains that a club, like any business, can’t keep going without commu nity support. Use it or lose it, people. And this final month, expect some rip-roaring “last rites” at Club Toast.

Morgan Sparks, Lara Heath, Alden Cadwell, Pascal Spengemann and Keith Brown, this Friday at the Red Square

Spice up your home with a new futon cover.

8 6 2 -5 0 5 6

M ORE FUN W ITH...BUCK & THE BLACK CATS (self-released cas sette,) — O n their new seven-song release, Buck and the Black Cats put on their cat clothes and serve up a tasty slab o f old-school rocka billy. Their first recording in two and a half years, More Fun W ith ... features the year-old lineup o f Buck Maynard, guitar and vocals, Kirk Lord, bass, DJ Lajoie, drums and Charlie Mack, piano. T h e tape was recorded at Charles Eller Studio by C huck him self and uti

raised more than $ 4 0 0 0 so far). W ith that m any songs, it’s almost im possible to review this thing w ithout a w hole lot more space. I can say that the sound quality is pro throughout — and consistent despite different studios and, probably, different recording budgets. It’s always a pleasure to hear outstanding bluesters like Reed, B loozotom y’s Jim Branca, Blue Fox and T h e U nknow n Blues Revue with Sandra Wright. A nd speaking o f w om en, there’s no shortage here — I count 11. Best of... also presents artists not often available

on recordings, such as M ick Lee, Rebecca Harrell, Christy Bluhm and C hip W ilson, a former Vermonter w ho m oved .to N ew Orleans

a few years back. Two memorial aspects for local m usic historians to

note: T h e final tune is an old N -Z on es track, “M ystery Blues,” fea turing the late Z oot W ilson on guitar and vocals, and the w hole project is dedicated to the recently deceased Vermont musician A ndy Shapiro — his song “A ndy’s Groove” is included. N o ques tion, the C D release party at N ectar’s this Saturday will be a blues w ho’s who.

•

decem ber 9.1998

—

Pam ela Polston

H O TTEST A N D LA TEST

sOUnd AdviCe continued from page 27

Rentals, Repairs of

SUNDAY

M A X M IX

JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar), Windjammer, 10:30 a.m. N C . UN BAR DISCO (Craig Mitchell turntablism), Red Square, 9 p.m. NC. PAUL LOLAX (acoustic guitarist), Borders, 2 p.m. NC . HELICOPTER CONSORTIUM (freak rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC . NON COMPOS MENTIS, PIECE MEAL, THE IMPLANTS (hard rock), Club Metronome, 4:30 p.m. $5, followed by METRO PUB, 9 p.m. NC. TREACHEROUS GROOVES (funk/dub-hop/drum &c bass), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $1/4. RUSS & CO. (rock), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. N C . KARAOKE, Edgewater Pub, 7 p.m. NC. DAVE KELLER (acoustic blues), La Brioche, 11 a.m. N C . LIVE M USIC (acoustic), Main Street Bar & Grill, 1 1 a.m. N C . JOEY LEONE DUO (Delta blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 7:30 p.m. NC . RICK REDINGT0N (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3, followed by CRUMB (alt-rock), 9:15 p.m. $7.

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BEN & ELL0RY (orig. Irish folk), Halvorson’s, 8 p.m. $4. OPEN STAGE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. MICHELE LALIBERTE (French &c German cabaret), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. NC. MARTIN & MITCHELL (soul DJs), Club M etronome, 10 p.m. N C . GABE JARRETT’S TUNA SUR PRISE (jazz) Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C . ABAIR BROS, (rock), Nectar’s, 9:15 p.m. N C . BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. N C . FLASHBACK (’70s-’90s DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $5. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.R’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC .

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Middlebury College grad Peter Holmes a Court did something man/ students only dream of: He put his double major — economics and drama — to goo< use. Now a theater producer, the Australia native has lately been busy with Tap Dogs,; percussive dance performance created by countryman choreographer Dein Perry. Base on Perrys experience as an industrial mechanic, Tap Dogs finds six brawny blokes tapdancing their blue collars away. Men at work, indeed. Thursday, December 10 & Friday, December 11. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $23-41 Info, 863-5966.

snack well \ Hildegard von Bingen was many things — medieval nun, myst|

JAN CANNON POTTERY AT PRINDLE CORNERS HOLIDAY OPEN STUDIO AND SALE SAT. & SUN. DEC. 12-13 10 A .M . - 5 P.M .

composer. But the proof of her skills as an herbalist is in the . . . panaceic fennel tea. Charlotte author Priscilla Throop serves up von Bingen’s secret recipe with a side orde of “smart cookies” at a reading and signing of her recently published translation of Physica, the sagacious sister’s collection of herbal remedies. Saturday, December 12. Flying Pig Childrens Books, Charlotte, 1-3 p.m. Free. Register, 425-2600.

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OTHER TIMES BY APPOINTMENT OR CHANCE

Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.

in the blanks of life.” McCarthy Arts Center, St. Michael’s College, Colchester, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 654-2535.

film

Wednesday The Vermont Folklife C en ter!

December 4-23,1998 A once-a-year sale of contemporary folk art by 2 0 + outstanding artisans from Vermont, Northern New England, an d upstate New Yorkfeaturing: • Ornaments • Miniatures

• Dolls • Rugs

• Baskets • Carvings

PLUS a selection o f cards, books, a n d tapes p ro d u ced b y the Verm ont F olklife Center

GALLERYLOCATION: Gamaliel Painter House 2 Court Street (Rte. 7 S outh), L Middlebury, VT 802.388.4964*

HOLIDAY GALLERY HOURS: M on-Fri 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday 12 to 4 p.m.

page 30

SEVEN DAYS V s-

december 9,1998 ’ »*.

dance BURLINGTON CONTACT JAM: Explore and expand your range of motion at this informal gathering o f spontaneous movers and shakers. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 860-3674. ‘RHYTHMIC DANCE STYLES’: Dancers from the acclaimed troupe Rhythm in Shoes step out in a style that combines traditional and modem moves. Plainfield Town Hall, 7-9 p.m. $5. Info, 229-9408.

drama ‘THE GREGORY’: Peter Sampieri per forms his original comic tale about “filling

words OPEN READING: Share your poems stories in the open, supportive setting o the Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-96 i MYSTERY DOUBLE-HEADER: Loc : authors Archer Mayor and Nancy Meai t Wright read from their respective who dunits. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 7-9 p' Free. Info, 453-5684. ‘WEST BY SO UTHW EST’: The myt • and realities of the American frontier go discussed along with This House o f Skj, Ivan Doig. Cabot Public Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 563-2721.

‘TALES OF THE CITY’: Author Armistead Maupin’s slice o f gay life in ’70s San Francisco became this controversial made-for-TV movie. Martin Luther King Lounge, Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 434-5653.

art FIGURE DRAWING: The human figure motivates aspiring and accomplished artists in a weekly drawing session at the Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-7165. FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: Bird carv ings, braided rugs and traditional Penobscot basketweaving are highlights of this sale celebrating craft traditions handed down from generation to generation. Vermont Folklife Center, Painter House, Middlebury, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 388-4964.

ZntM m v& r/

kids SONG A N D STORYTIME: The und three crowd drops in for tunes and tale Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10* Free. Info, 865-7216. STORYTIME: Four- and five-year-old enjoy stories, songs, fingerplays and era South Burlington Community Library, a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. STORIES: Little listeners hear stories, snack and make crafts at the Children’s

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house party: It’s the tone-deaf’s Christmas dream come true: a round of door-to-door holiday visits without having to sing carols. In fact, strollers on the “Historic Middlebury Holiday Stroll” will themselves be treated to music from the likes of the Lemon Consort, Mud Season and the Middlebury Wind Ensemble as they drop by the Inn on the Green, the Painter House and five other historic haunts for refresh ments and special exhibits. Sunday\ December 13. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 2 -5 p.m. $8. Register, 388-2117.

presents tense

To borrow from the other Dickens classic — the holidays can be the best of times, the worst of times. If you’ve reached that point in the holidays when you can’t count to 10 without thinking of those dang lords a’leaping, or whatever, then it’s time to take a break. A. Anderson leads a presentation on managing holiday stress and depression. Because peace on Earth begins with peace of mind. Tuesday, December 15. Westford Town Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 878-5639.

Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537. TINY TOTS: Kids three and under hear age-appropriate tales at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.

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VERMONT-BURMA ALLIANCE MEETING: Rep. Mary Sullivan discusses how a recent court ruling may limit Vermont’s right to adopt selective-purchas ing policies with repressive world govern ments. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4668. ANTHROPOLOGY SEMINAR: A pro fessor from Brazil reflects on historical ethnographic stereotypes in this lecture entitled “A Tale of Two Amazonian Villages." 511 Williams Hall, UVM, Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 656-3884. A.D.H .D. PARENT SUPPORT NIGHT: Dr. James Hudziak discusses the latest research and medication for kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Frederick Tuttle Middle School, S. Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 657-2655. HOLIDAY SOCIAL: The Twin State Postal Customer Council delivers first-class merriment at the Windjammer, S. Burlington, 4:30-6:30 p.m. $10. Register, 655-6405.

10 thursday dance

‘TAP DOGS’: “Gene Kelly meets Mad Max” in Australia’s raucous tap-dancing show featuring six Down Under dudes. See “to do” list, this issue. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8 p.m. $23-42. Info, 863-5966. SWING DANCE: Pete Sutherland teams up with Rhythm in Shoes for an evening of spirited community rug-cutting. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7-9 p.m. $5. Info, 229-9408.

drama ‘THE GREGORY’: See December 9. ‘DESIRE UNDER THE ELVES’: Green Candle Theater takes on the dark side of Christmas when Santa Claus goes on an eggnog bender during an elfin uprising. See review, this issue. Shoebox Theater, 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $715. Info, 893-7333.

art FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: See December 9.

words PHILIP BARUTH: The novelist reads from his Burlington-based book, Dream o f the White Village. Borders, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-2711.

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CANADIAN LITERATURE SERIES: Merilyn Burrington leads a literary tour north via A Season in the Life o f Emanuel, by Marie Claire Blais. Charlotte Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 425-2191. PARENT-CHILD BOOK DISCUS SION: Grown-up readers and their nineyear-old kids compare notes on Letters to Rifka, by Karen Hesse. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684. LAZY WRITERS FORUM: Share your writing-in-progress in a supportive work shop environment. Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 223-3338.

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kids PARENTS ANONYMOUS: Parents gath er for support and assistance around the challenges of childrearing. Babysitting goes with the program at two meetings in Burlington and Milton, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800-639-4014. STORYTIME & CRAFTS: Cultural activities keep your children occupied at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 1010:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘NEW TITLES’ STORY TIME: Kids four and up learn a little Italian as they read — and count — along with Tomie Depaola’s Big Anthony. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORY HOUR: Young readers learn from lighthearted literature in a country setting. Flying Pig Children’s Books, Charlotte, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 425-2600.

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If y o u c a n 't find SEVEN DAYS w h ere y o u sh o p , a sk y o u r friendly m e rc h a n t. december 9,1998

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road scholar

John M cC utcheon

learned traditional music the old-fashioned way: at the knees o f the great A ppalachian masters. Knapsack on his back, he trod country back roads and mastered banjo, guitar, fiddle, autoharp, m ountain dulcim er and jaw harp. T he end result — two decades and as m any recordings later — is a master m usician Johnny Cash called “the m ost impressive instrum entalist I have ever heard.” C atch him in our own backyard.

Friday\ December 11. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 7:30p.m. $17. Info, 883-55Id.

W OM EN’S HEALTH LECTURE: Chiropractor Kathy Mumma discusses alternative treatments for estrogen-relat ed ailments such as pre-menstrual syn drome and osteoporosis. UVM Women’s Center, 34 South Williams St., Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 656-7892. COM M UNITY JUSTICE MEET ING: Department o f Corrections staffers answer questions about restora tive justice in light o f current prison

problems in Vermont. Community Justice Center, 95 St. Paul St., Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Register, 865-7155. HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE: The Champlain Advocacy Resource and Community group invites the commu nity to learn about its programs for people with disabilities. Champlain ARC, 197 St. Paul St., Burlington, 2-5 p.m. Free. Info, 658-2221. BATTERED W OMEN VOLUN TEERS: Attend an orientation session

covering domestic violence education and volunteer opportunities with Women Helping Battered Women. UVM Womens Center, 34 South Williams St., Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3131. EMPLOYMENT LAW SEMINAR: Lawyers and labor experts lead the way to effective — and legal — human resource management. Ramada Inn & Conference Center, S. Burlington, 9 a.m. - 4:30 p.m. $189. Register, 715833-3959.

LAKE CHAMPLAIN BYWAYS: The “heritage” offshoot of the Addison County Regional Planning Commission meets at the Rokeby Museum, Ferrisburgh, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 388-3141. OTTER CREEK HERITAGE PRE SENTATION: Grad students in his toric preservation make a case for “read ing the landscape as a continually evolving historic document.” Isley Free Library, Middlebury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 656-4006.

A W INTER’S EVE’: Music, mulled cider and candlelight tours led by cos tumed colonial guides make for a reflective look at holidays past. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 4-7 p.m. $5. Info, 865-4556. EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: Women suffering from depression, anx iety or any other mental or emotional problem find sorority in this 12-step support group. Seneca Center, Champlain Mill, Winooski, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 660-9036.

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benefit a documentary film project about two Vermont midwives. Holley Hall, Bristol, 7-10 p.m. $6. Info, 425-3728.

drama

music TRILLIUM: Twelve a cappella voices sing winter songs from European, African and American traditions in the historic — but chilly — Round Church, Richmond, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 388-3856. ‘HOLIDAY POPS’: The Vermont Symphony Orchestra teams up with the Essex Childrens Choir for a seasonally selected program that includes music from The Nutcracker. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $18-31. 800-876-9293. PAUL LOLAX: The local guitarist picks Celtic and traditional tunes at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. HOLIDAY GALA: The Monteverdi Music School breaks up into small, merry-making groups for a combined concert of a cappella singers, a recorder troupe and a flute choir. Wood Art Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-9000. CHORAL CONCERT: The Mad River Chorale sings new and centuriesold Yuletide tunes, including Puccinis “Gloria: African Noel." Waitsfield Elementary School, 7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 476-5690. JOHN MCCUTCHEON: The Grammy-nominated folk phenomenon performs a concert of traditional trea sures with strings attached. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 7:30 p.m. $17. Info, 883-5514. BURT PORTER: Glover’s own singer and scholar of North Country ballads joins pals Andrew and Deanna Wilson for a folk-filled fete. Vermont Leadership Center, Island Pond, 7 p.m. Donations. Info, 723-6551.

dance ‘TAP DO G S’: See December 10. DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE: Set peace in motion by participating in simple circle dances and group chants from around the world. Jericho Community Center, 7-8:30 p.m. $1-5. Info, 482-2836. CONTRA DANCE BENEFIT: Lausanne Allen calls for Rick Kovacs and friends at this country square-off to

‘THE GREGORY’: See December 9. ‘DESIRE UNDER THE ELVES’: See December 10. ‘THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER’: Champlain Arts Theater Company stages the comedy about a couple forced to cast a brood of rascals in their holiday play. See review, this issue. Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 7 p.m. $4. Info, 863-5966. ‘GOLDBERG DOES GOLDBERG’: Local playwright Stephen Goldberg offers an intimate performance of read ing and music at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8:30 p.m. $5. Info, 865-9603.

art FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: See December 9.

words BOOK DISCUSSION SERIES: Helene Lang ponders patriarchy as it plays out in Ernest Gaines’ In My Father’s House. Agency of Human Services, 103 South Main St., Waterbury, noon - 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 241-2244.

kids SONG AND STORYTIME: The under-three crowd drops in for tunes and tales. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10:15 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. ‘MUSIC WITH ROBERT RESNIK’: Kids sing songs with the musical host o f Vermont Public Radios folk show “All the Traditions.” Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. COM M UNITY DANCE: Fifth- and sixth-graders get into the groove at Holley Hall, Bristol, 7-9:30 p.m. $1. Info, 453-5885. STORY HOUR: Toddlers listen to sto ries at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

etc ‘A WINTER’S EVE’: See December 10.

EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: See December 10. This co-ed section wel comes men. ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR.: The acclaimed environmental lawyer and activist lends his lofty name to a discus sion of Vermont’s water resources. See story, this issue. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5221. HOLIDAY CRAFT SALE: The former bakery now inhabited by artists opens its doors to holiday shoppers. It’s worth finding the Rose St. Artist’s Co-op, Burlington, 5-10 p.m. Free. COMMUNITY DEVELOPMENT CONFERENCE: “Building partner ships” is the focus of a day-long con ference sponsored by the University of Vermont Department of Community Development. Sheraton Conference Center, S. Burlington, 7:45 a.m. - 3:15 p.m. $45. Info, 656-0041. COSTA RICA SLIDESHOW: It’s the next best thing to being there. Armchair travelers get a free ride to a naturalists paradise in Central America. North Branch Nature Center, Mont pelier, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 2298-6206. GLBTQ SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered and questioning youth make new friends and get support. Outright Vermont, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428. BATTERED W OMEN’S SUPPORT GROUP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 658-1996.

which offers refuge to the parents of hospitalized children. Mann Hall Auditorium, Trinity College, Burling ton, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 864-5962. CHRISTMAS CONCERT: Adult and youth choirs raise spirits with songs of the season. North Avenue Alliance Church, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0501. VERMONT YOUTH ORCHESTRA CONCERT: The Vermont Youth Strings and Vermont Youth Sinfonia split the bill with Bach, Bizet and Buxtehude. Colchester High School, 3 p.m. $5. Info, 658-4708. OLD WORLDS A N D NEW": Grammar school kids from the Sydney Schola Cantorum sing holiday songs from Australia, Europe and America. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 229-9408.

dance CONTRA DANCE: Mary DesRosiers calls for the Plumbers at this newcom er-friendly dance — in soft-soled shoes, natch. Edmunds School, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $6. Info, 658-8488. BALLROOM DANCE: Reps from the United States Amateur Ballroom Dancers Association make all the right moves at the Frederick Tuttle Middle School, S. Burlington, 7-11 p.m. $10. Info, 879-0501. SWING DANCE: Carol Spade gives lessons to soon-to-be swingsters before the joint gets jumping at Holley Hall, Bristol, 7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5885. SQUARE DANCE: A1 Monty calls for a western-style dance hosted by the Central Vermont Squires. Montpelier Grange Hall, 6:30-10:30 p.m. $4. Info, 485-6739.

drama

S a tu rd a y music CHORAL CONCERT: See December 1 1.

‘HOLIDAY POPS’: See December 11. Flynn Theatre, Burlington. $11-31. TRILLIUM: See December 11, Mead Chapel, Middlebury College. A CAPPELLA CONCERT: Five a cap pella ensembles join musical forces to benefit the Ronald McDonald House,

‘DESIRE UNDER THE ELVES’: See December 10. ‘THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER’: See December 11, 3 & 7 p.m. $8. Info, 863-5966. ‘BLACK BEAUTY’: Theaterworks recreates the story o f a wannabe race horse that overcomes countless hard ships en route to the track. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 3 p.m. $5. Info, 728-9878.

art FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: See December 9, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m.

words PHILIP BARUTH: See December 10, Waldenbooks, Burlington Square Mall, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 658-6019. TOM SLAYTON: The editor of Vermont Life magazine reads from The Beauty o f Vermont, a compilation of commentaries on the local landscape. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. PRISCILLA THROOP: The Charlotte author serves up herbal recipes she translated from the work o f medieval nun Hildegard von Bingen. See “to do” list, this issue. Flying Pig Children’s Books, Charlotte, 1-3 p.m. Free. Register, 425-2600.

kids STORY TIME: Kids three and up lis ten to literature read aloud. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

sport MT. HUNGER HIKE: Wear layers, boots and snowshoes on a five-mile trek to the scenic summit o f Mount Hunger. Call for meeting place, 8:30 a.m. Free. Info, 660-9891. LONG TRAIL HIKE: Tromp along the Mountain Road to Watson Camp on this steady seven-miler. Snowshoes may be necessary. Meet at Montpelier High School, 9 a.m. Free. Info, 223-7035.

etc HOLIDAY CRAFT SALE: See December 11, 1-5 p.m. EARTH ACUPUNCTURE: See December 1 1,9 a.m. - 7 p.m.. HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE RIDES: Sleigh bells ring in the holiday season on the Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, noon - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 863-1648. HOLIDAY TREE SALE: A conifer with a conscience? Proceeds from Christmas tree sales benefit the Committee on Temporary Shelter. Barking Lot, Onion River Co-op, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 6 p.m. Info, 863-3659. CONVERSATIONAL FRENCH MEETING: Meet the directors of Alliance Francaise-Cercle Queb^cois and brainstorm ideas for francophonic

continued on next page

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SEVEN DAYS

pop cycle: Its not exactly a symphonic sing-a-long. But you can follow the bouncing baton to three “holiday pops” concerts this week courtesy of the Vermont Symphony Orchestra. A brass choir adds fanfare to the program of seasonal favorites, including selections from the Nutcracker. Oh, and those angelic voices belong to the Essex Childrens Choir. Baritone Kevin Deas handels the low notes. Thursday> , December 10, Barre Opera House & Friday, December 11, Flynn Theatre, 8 p.m. Sunday, December 13, College o f St. Joseph, Rutland, 3 p.m. $18-31. 800-876-9293.

events. F le tc h e r Free L ibrary, B u rlin g to n , 11 a .m . - 1 2 :30 p .m . Free. In fo , 3 2 6 -4 8 1 4 . D O W S I N G D I S C U S S IO N : T h e C h itte n d e n C o u n ty C h a p te r o f D ow sers h o sts a ta lk by P a trick M c M a n a w a y o n “th e m o v e m e n t o f en erg y in tim e a n d sp a c e .” H a u k e C e n te r, C h a m p la in C o lleg e, B u rlin g to n , 10 a .m . $ 4 . In fo , 6 5 8 -2 0 0 7 . H U R R I C A N E A ID D R O P O F F : N o o n e deserves a v isit fro m S a n ta m o re th a n th e H o n d u ra n v ictim s o f H u rric a n e M itc h . B ring y o u r d o n a te d fo o d , m e d ic al su p p lie s a n d c a m p in g e q u ip m e n t to M ag ic H a t Brew ery, S. B u rlin g to n , 9 a .m . - n o o n . Free. Info, 8 6 3 -0 5 7 1 . M O B IL E P E T A D O P T I O N S : Reps fro m th e N o r th C o u n try A n im a l L eague m a tc h h om eless cats a n d k itte n s w ith n ew o w n ers at this d riv e -th ro u g h event. Pet F o o d W areh o u se , W illisto n R d ., S. B u rlin g to n , 11 a .m . - 2 p .m . Free. In fo , 8 8 8 -5 0 6 5 . C R A F T A N D B A K E SA LE: Invest in h a n d c ra fte d gifts a n d h o m e m a d e baked g o ods to h e lp o u t th e H ia w a th a S chool, Essex J u n c tio n , 9 a .m . - 4 p .m . Free. In fo , 8 7 9 -1 6 2 6 . C H R I S T M A S IN T H E PA R K : S an ta C la u s show s u p in sleig h -d ra w n style at th is c ele b ra tio n fe a tu rin g crafts, ice s c u lp tin g , d a n c in g a n d a p e ttin g zoo. T a y lo r Park, St. A lb an s, 1-4 p .m . Free. In fo , 5 2 4 -2 4 4 4 . T R E E L IG H T IN G C E R E M O N Y : Local L ions lig h t th e C h ris tm a s “m e m o ry tre e ” to h o n o r deceased c o m m u n ity m e m b e rs. T o w n G re e n , B ristol, 6 p .m . Free. In fo , 4 5 3 -5 8 8 5 .

continued on page 36

A h o lid a y tr a d itio n fo r 4 0 y e a rs.

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864-9800

1 Do IT N O W p S, mv B E C A U S E A F T E R m,'

th e

S even

Days

Celebrate with the VSO’s annual holiday concerts

W in t e r Ho

l id a y

Kate Tamarkin and the VSO will be joined by the Essex Children’s Choirfo r a program that includes a brass choir, music from the Nutcracker and other traditional favorites.

Friday, December 11, 8 pm

Opera House, Barre by VERMONT ( lnion Johnson&ptx

M e s s ia h

Robert De Cormier leads the KSOand Chorus with soprano Andrea Matthews, alto Mary Ann Hart, tenor Walter MacNeil, and bass Keith Kibler in Handel’s choral masterpiece.

Saturday December 19, 8 pm

Allen Chapel, Burlington Sponsored by

Theatre, Burlington Sponsored by Uic«i»t Tthnologiw

® I Sheraton I Burlington

(802) 864-5741 ext.12 VSO TicketLine 1-800-VS0-9293 ext.12 Toll Free (802) 86 -FLYNN Flynn Theatre Box Office

SEVEN DAYS

E L S E W ILL B E A

17 \B I G

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O r d e r Yo u r T i c k e t s T o d a y !

page 34

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December 12, 8 pm

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december 9,1998

C a l l 8 6 4 . 5 6 8 4 fo r AD R A T E 5 A N D IN FO .

;

Burlington. $39-349. Info, 860-4057,

aikido

ext. 20. Take classes in computer basics,

AIKIDO: Adults, Mondays - Fridays,

Windows 95, Office 9 7 applications,

part in this group process developed by

King St., Burlington. Free. Info, 660-

for “bringing magic into your life. ”

author Louise Hay.

9808. Join a group practicing Thich

‘INNER JOURNEYS GROUP’:

Nhat Hanh-style meditation.

Monday, December 14, 6:30-8 p.m.

Internet or Web site basics. Private and

karate

Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m. Children,

custom classes are also

‘KARATE AS A WAY TO GENTLE

7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info,

Ave., Burlington. $3. Info, 660-8060.

Tuesdays & Thursdays, 3:45-4:45 p.m.

available.

NESS’: Ongoing Mondays, 7:45-9

658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation

Focus on your “inner journey” through

p.m., Fridays, 6-7:30 p.m. and

incorporates breath, sound and move

talking and group guided meditation.

Saturdays, 2:30-4 p.m. The Body

ment.

5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m.,

Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E.

cooking

Allen St., Winooski. $40/month intro

‘THE WAY OF TH E SUFI’: Tuesdays,

Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski

special. Info, 654-6999. Study this

CUISINE OF NORTHERN ITALY:

Garage, Cherry St., Burlington. Info,

MEDITATION: Thursdays, 7-8:30

support groups

graceful, flowing martial art to develop

Monday, January 11, 6-9 p.m. Isabel’s

860-7029. Learn to deal with aggression

p.m. Green Mountain Learning Center,

NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS:

flexibility, confidence and self-defense

On the Waterfront, Lake St.,

in a humble manner with intense mental

13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203, Williston.

Ongoing daily groups. Various loca

skills.

Burlington. $40. Register, 865-2522.

and physical training through Shotokan

Free. Info, 872-3797. Don’t just do

tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and

art

Learn to make a killer Bolognese sauce

karate.

something sit there!

Plattsburgh. Free. Info, Help Line,

and other delectable dishes from northern

862-4516. I f you’re ready to stop using

Italy.

kendo

MEDITATION: First & third

FIGURE DRAWING: Ongoing

Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington

drugs, this group o f recovering addicts can

Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski

offer inspiration.

dance

KENDO: Ongoing Wednesdays and Thursdays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren

Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors

MODERN JAZZ: Tuesdays,

Town Hall. Donations. Info, 496-

teach non-sectarian and Tibetan

writing

4669. Develop focus, control and power

Buddhist meditations.

POETRY WORKSHOP: Thursdays, 1

through this Japanese samurai sword

GUIDED MEDITATION: Sundays,

p.m. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury.

fencing martial art.

10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic

Free. Info, 388-7523. Bring a poem or

Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info,

two to read and discuss a t this ongoing

985-2229. Practice guided meditation

workshop.

Mondays, 6-8:30 p.m. Fresco Studio, 1 Main St., Burlington. $3-5. Info, 8624893. Artists o f all abilities are welcome at this weekly drawing session.

December 15 and 22. 6-7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Loft,

astrology

Burlington. $8/class, $28/all four. Info,

‘DANCING W ITH TH E PLAN

860-3674. Get in shape as you learn to

ETS’: Saturday, December 12, 9 a.m. -

kids

dance with grace, rhythm and flow.

9 p.m. Burlington. $50 includes din ner. Register, 482-2836. Get an intro to

GIFT-MAKING WORKSHOP: Two

dowsing

Saturdays, December 12 and 19, 10

for relaxation and focus.

yoga

astrological yoga, integrating “planetary

‘GEOBIOLOGY-EARTH ACU

a.m. - 2 p.m. Shelburne Craft School,

photography

attunements" into movement meditations.

PUNCTURE’: Friday through Sunday,

Shelburne. $50/day includes materials.

PHOTOGRAPHY: Private or group,

YOGA: Wednesdays, 7 p.m. Green Mt.

business

December 11 through 13, Friday, 4-7

Kids six to 12 create holiday gifts, wrap

basic and intermediate classes. Grand

p.m., Saturday, 9 a.m. - 7 p.m.,

ping and accessories, with different pro

Isle or Burlington. Info, 372-3104.

‘GETTING SERIOUS’: Mondays and

Sunday, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. Rushford

jects each Saturday.

Learn darkroom skills as well as how to

Thursdays, January 11, 14, 18,21.

Chiropractic Center, 205 Dorset St., S.

Morrisville. $115. Grants available.

Burlington. $175/weekend, $25/Friday,

kung fu

yoga with Deborah Binder.

choose, use and exploit the camera to

$75/Sat-urday or Sunday. Info, 865-

‘VING TSU N ’: Tuesdays and

2756, ext. 5. Christian Hummel teaches

Thursdays, 7:45-9 p.m. The Body

possibilities and realities o f business own

dowsing to “clear negative geopathic stress

Garage, Cherry St., Burlington. Info,

zones" and reduce pollution.

655-8671. This practical and applicable

BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU: Ongoing

martial art promotes health, fitness and

classes for men, women and children,

inner peace.

Monday through Saturday. Vermont

healing

‘START UP’: Beginning January 22.

black and white.

orous yoga, yoga for pregnancy or yoga for

self-defense

health and well-being. BURLINGTON YOGA: Mondays,

Burlington. $1250. Grants available.

INTRO DUCTIO N TO CHAKRAS:

Info, 846-7160. Take your business plan

Thursday, December 10, 6:30-7:30

language

St., Burlington. Info, 660-4072 or 253-

to the next step, research and write a

p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S.

ITALIAN: Ongoing individual and

9730. Escape fear with an integrated self-

business plan, and learn other skills for

Winooski Ave., Burlington; $10. Info,

group classes, beginner to advanced,

defense system based on technique, not

660-8060. Get an intro to the coordinat

adults and children. Burlington. Info,

size, strength or speed.

Womens Small Business Program.

ed network o f receptors and transmitters

865-4795. Learn to speak this beautiful

computer

o f our “life energies, ” called chakras.

language from a native speaker and expe

spirit

‘LOVE YOURSELF A N D HEAL

rienced teacher.

M OO N CIRCLE: Saturday, December

CYBERSKILLS VERMONT:

YOUR LIFE’: Saturday, December 12,

Ongoing day, evening and weekend

10 a.m. - 6:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer

meditation

Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave.,

classes. Old North End Technology

Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave.,

‘MINDFULNESS PRACTICE

Burlington. Donations. Info, 660-

Center, 279 N. Winooski Ave.,

Burlington. $75. Info, 660-8060. Take

GROUP’: Sundays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. 35

8060. Join a moon circle to set intentions

starting your own bdstdess, thtdhgb thi

* '

Saturday, daytime & evening classes for group instruction in therapeutic yoga, vig

Business Program helps you explore the

develop a business idea.

BEECHER HILL YOGA: Mondayall levels. Info, 482-3191. Get private or

express your creative style in color and

Info, 846-7160. The Womens Small

ership, assess your skills and interests and

Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Williston. $8. Info, 872-3797. Practice

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard

12, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer

5:30 and 7 p.m. Flynn Gallery, 148 Main St. Info, 658-3013. Find healing through Iyengar style yoga. YOGA VERMONT: Daily classes, 12 p.m., 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718. Astanga style “power”yoga classes offer sweaty fun for all levels o f experience. SHELBURNE ATHLETIC CLUB YOGA: Mondays, Astanga, 5:30 p.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays, Hatha 11:10 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Info, 985-2229. Take classes in rigorous Astanga or relax ing Hatha yoga.

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Gift Making Open House • Sunday, Dec. 13th, 11-4pm Be Creative For the Holiday Season!

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Snow Farm V in eyard Starting Dec. 1st, while supplies last; free baskets and wrappings with $25 purchases and more! Sunday, Dec. 13th Come see Santa Claus from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. Keep us in mind for your holiday parties. OPEN 11AM-4:30PM NOW THROUGH DECEMBER 24TH CLOSING AT 3:30 ON DECEMBER 24TH AND WILL REOPEN DECEMBER 28-31 1 9 0 W e s t S h o re R o a d » S o u th i f e r o / V c r m o n t 0 5 4 8 6 • 8 0 2 - 3 7 2 - W I N E ( 9 4 6 3 )

U E H O L ID A Y

* Haiuikhah * Kwanzaa * SOlStl'CC or

Christmas

TERMINAL ILLNESS SUPPORT GROUP: Caregivers of people who at® terminally ill and others coping with death convene at the Vermont Respite House, 25 Prim Rd.( Colchester, 9-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 434-4159.

13 S u n d a y

music ‘HOLIDAY POPS’: See December 11. College o f St. Joseph, Rutland, 3 p.m. CHORAL CONCERT: See December 11, First Presbyterian Church, Barre, 3 p.m. CHRISTMAS CONCERT: See December 12, 6 p.m. ‘SONGS FOR A WINTER AFTER N O O N ’: Pete and Karen Sutherland and the new a cappella group Social Band mix it up with new and tradi tional music, medieval carols and Balkan tunes. See story, this issue. St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, 3 p.m. $6. Info, 864-9212. EKLECTIK ZURN: The talented teens play harp, cello, violin, recorders and keyboards at a mellow holiday happening. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 4-4:45 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. ECUMENICAL CHRISTMAS CONCERT: Choir members from area churches come together to bring, er sing, tidings of comfort and joy. St. Ambrose Church, Bristol, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5885. LESSONS A N D CAROLS: The stu dent choir combines choral music and congregational singing with biblical texts o f the season. Mead Chapel, Middlebury College, 4:30 & 8 p.m. Free. Info, 443-6433. RANDOLPH SINGERS: Under the direction of Larry Hamberlin, the

local vocals crank it up for Christmas. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 3 p.m. $5. Info, 728-9133.

drama ‘DESIRE UNDER THE ELVES’: See December 10, 2 p.m. ‘A CHRISTMAS CAROL’: ‘Tis the season for Dickens’ classic tale about holiday spirits and the hidden costs of not giving your staff a Christmas bonus. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7 p.m. $18-28.50. Info, 863-5966.

art FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: See December 9, noon - 4 p.m.

words ‘RECIPES & REFLECTIONS’: Join innkeeper AnneMarie DeFreest and restaurateur Annie Reed for a tasting o f recipes from their coauthored cook book. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. O D D S BODKIN: The world-travel ing storyteller plays many different characters in his music-filled “Yuletide Tales.” Montshire Museum o f Science, Norwich, 2 p.m. $10. Info, 649-2200.

kids STORYTIME: Young readers delve into classic and new tales at this halfhour happening. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 4 p.m. Free. Info, Info, 865-2711.

SAXON HILL HIKE: Head for the old fire tower — in snowshoes or good boots. Four miles of hiking earns you a good view. Info, 899-4717. SNOWSHOE HIKE: Bring lunch and warm beverage on a six-mile snowshoe to Montclair Glen Shelter. Meet at Montpelier High School, 8:30 a.m. Free. Info, 223-0918. ■

'« '

RIDES: See December 12. HOLIDAY CRAFT SALE: See December 11, 1-5 p.m. EARTH ACUPUNCTURE: See December 11,10 a.m. - 6 p.m. HISTORIC HOLIDAY STROLL: Tour seven historic buildings in down town Middlebury, with refreshments and music along the way. See “to do” list, this issue. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 2-5 p.m. $8. Register, 388-2117. MUSEUM OPEN HOUSE: Free planetarium shows and holiday treats galore brighten the stately Victorian halls of the Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2372.

14 .

monday 1

art

FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: See December 9. FIGURE DRAWING: Artists of all abilities — and their drawing boards — are welcome at this weekly session. Fresco Studio, Union Station, Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. $3-5. Info, 862-4893.

words JULIA ALVAREZ: The acclaimed Latina author reads original poems and selections from her first published work of nonfiction, Something to Declare. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-9603. SALEM WITCHCRAFT DISCUS SION: The author of The Salem Witch Trials, How History Was Invented revisits the early-American executions. Unitarian Universalist Society, 152 Pearl St., Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-1597.

HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE

urlington • 865-HERB -Sat 10-6 • Sun 12-5

-C T e w e LR y M I D D L E B U R Y

S E R I E S

New E ngland R eview

T ut

-V

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G 4

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i/©vr H©lida</

b tftijx f/

V O L U M E 1 9 , NO. 4 featuring:

The Lure of Poetry Anthologies Reflections on Ted Hughes’s Broken Silence A New Translation of Chekhov fiction ^ poetry

essays ^ performance pieces

A V A IL A B L E A T B E T T E R B O O K S T O R E S I N V E R M O N T A N D N A T IO N W ID E

Visit us on the Web at www.middlebury.edu/-nereview I..II.II ■■ ■

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D E C . 1 1 -1 8 FRI 11th, 5-10PM • SAT & SUN 12th& 13™, 1-5PM MON-FRI 14th-18™r 4-7PM Just off North St. in Burlington’s Old North End at 78 Rose St. For more info, call 864-9045.

page 36

SEVEN DAYS

december 9, 1998

C/arcfe

72 Main S t M id d le b u ry • 3 8 8 . 6 8 3 1 • O p e n E v e r y D a y

Calendar iecemher kids STORYTIME: Children from three to five enjoy stories, songs, fingerplays and crafts. South Burlington Community Library, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.

to a Bachelor's Degree? W M

etc HOLIDAY CRAFT SALE: See December 11, 4-7 p.m. LITE-N-LENS CAMERA CLUB: Shutterbugs bring their favorite slides for consideration in national nature and pictorial competitions. Delahanty Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 878-0627. AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL ANNIVERSARY: The U.N. Declaration o f Human Rights has been around for half a century. Celebrate with refreshments and a video about the organizations work. Unitarian Church, Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-4838. PREGNANT W O M EN’S SUPPORT GROUP: Expectant mothers learn about the awesome changes ahead at this informal “wisdom circle.” Free. Info, 658-2478. TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get information, supplies, screening and treatment for sexually related prob lems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 863-6326. RUMMAGE AND NEARLY NEW SALE: The whole family finds deals on clothes, household items and toys at a weekly yard sale. Ohavi Zedek Synagogue, North Prospect St., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 862-2311. EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: People with emotional problems meet at the O ’Brien Center, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 660-9036. BATTERED W O M EN’S SUPPORT GROUPS: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in

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92% of SEVEN DAYS readers drive an hour or so for arts, dining, shopping or sports.

Give the G ift of Computer and Internet Literacy

C y b e r S k ills VERM ONT

Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the Shelter Committee facilitates a meeting in Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0855.

tuesday music

AMATEUR MUSICIANS C O N CERT: Hear holiday works by Beethoven, Strauss and Irving Berlin under the direction o f Vermont Symphony violinist David Gusakov. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 985-9750. TOY THEATER SING-A-LONG: Local artists showcase their miniature theaters in a musical event at the Fletqher Free Library, Burlington, 1:30-4 p.m. Free. Info, '865-2711.

art FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: See December 9.

words WRITERS’ GROUP: Writers work with words at Dubie’s Cafe, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9257.

kids ‘MUSIC W ITH ROBERT RESNIK’: See December 11. STORIES A N D CRAFTS: Children cut and paste to the chase after a morning story. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. HOMESCHOOLERS GYM AND CRAFTS: Stay-at-home students take part in extracurricular activities at the Burlington Boys and Girls Club, Oak St., Burlington, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. $1. Info, 860-1299. 4%

STORY TIME: Kids under three lis ten in at the South Burlington Community Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. PRESCHOOLERS: Young readers three to five take a book break at Barnes &CNoble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

sport PICK-UP VOLLEYBALL: No matter how you set it up, this weekly co-ed adult game amounts to an evening of exercise. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 6:45-9:45 p.m. $2. Info, 865-7088.

etc See December 11, 4-7 p.m. TROPICAL GROUP: Warm-weather wishers and fans of things tropical meet for heat at this weekly social gathering. Info, 862-4042. STRESS AND DEPRESSION WORK SHOP: Get tips on coping with the crush of consumerism and other holiday pressures. See “to do" list, this issue. Westford Town Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 878-5639. BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT GROUP: The Visiting Nurses Association cosponsors this open meet ing for individuals dealing with loss. Adult Day Center, 25 Prim Rd., Colchester, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4410. FREE LEGAL CLINIC: Attorney Sandy Baird offers free legal advice to women with questions about family law, housing difficulties and welfare prob lems. Room 14, Burlington City Hall, 3-5 p m. Free. Info, 865-7200. BATTERED WOMEN’S SUPPORT GROUP: Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. noon. Free. Info, 223-0855. 4 H OLIDA Y C R A FT SALE:

■S

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16 W e d n e s d a y

music TREBLE MAKERS: Barbershop har monies accompany the book browsing at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. KILLINGTON MUSIC FESTIVAL: Chamber music and swing combine in this bluesy jazz collaboration featur ing Bostons Bellevue Cadillac and Sandra Wright. Wobbly Barn Steakhouse, Killington, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 7/3-4003.

dance BURLINGTON CONTACT JAM: Move and groove as it suits your mood at this alcohol-free, shoe-free open dance. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. $1. Info, 860-3674.

drama ‘ANNIE’: Northern Stage mounts the Depression-era musical about a little orphan with a big heart. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 7 p.m. $20. Info, 291-9009.

film ‘IT’S MY PARTY’: Eric Roberts stars as an AIDS-stricken L.A. architect who refuses to go out with a whimper. Martin Luther King Lounge, Billings Student Center, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 434-5653.

art FIGURE DRAWING: See December 9. FOLK ARTS SHOWCASE: See December 9.

words PARENT-CHILD BOOK DISCUS-

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We will also be collecting new, unwrapped toys! page 38

SEVEN DAYS

december 9, 1998

SEVEN DAYS it's huge.

SION: Grown-up readers and their 11- and 12-year-old kids compare notes on Children o f the River, by Linda Crew. Deerleap Books, Bristol 8 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

C a le n d a r is w r it te n b y E rik E s c k i ls e n .

kids

C la s s e s are c o m

SONG A N D STORYTIME: See December 9. STORYTIME: See December 9. STORIES: See December 9. TINY TOTS: See December 9.

p ile d b y L u c y

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m is s io n s are due

HOLIDAY CRAFT SALE: See December 11, 4-7 p.m. ‘PRESENTS FOR THE BIRDS’: Spread holiday cheer to the winged this winter at a bird-friendly tree trimming at Green Mountain Audubon Society Nature Center, Huntington, 1-2 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068. KNITTING GROUP: Needle work ers swap techniques and design ideas with other wool workers. Northeast Fiber Arts Center, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 865-4981.

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Visual artists are invited to submit proposals for the Donor Recognition Hall in the Paramount Theater in Rutland. The 1913 theater is about to be restored to its original splendor, and the Art Selection Panel will consider any original creation of sculpture, painting, graphic arts, crafts, photography or mixed-media appropriate to the site. Deadline: March 1, 1999. Contact: Kathryn Brownell, 26 Cold River Rd., N. Clarendon, VT 05759.

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Open Sundays

o p e n in g s

SEVEN DAYS

december 9, 1998

John Anderson. Helen Day Art CeUtfer East Gallery, Stowe, 660-3150.

VERMONT PHOTO GROUP: An

ORNAMENTS, a seasonal exhibit and

Through January 3.

Exhibition o f Photographs by Ten Area

sale o f works by regional potters.

AMERICAN QUILTS, folk art, primi

Artists. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free

Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury Ctr.,

tives and vintage collectibles, holiday

Library, Burlington, 863-3403.

244-1126. Open House/sale

exhibit and sale. Cupola House

Reception December 9, 5-7 p.m.

December 12, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m.

CONVERGENCE, Photographs and

Gallery, Essex, NY, 518-963-7494. Through December 20.

College Gallery, 862-9616. Reception

o n g o in g

poetry bt Mat McDermott. Burlington

VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS, the 18th Annual Festival o f the Christmas Trees.

and reading December 11, 7:30p.m.

SKYSCAPES & SEA DR EA M ^ paim -

Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-

ANNUAL HOLIDAY CERAMICS SALE,

ings by Pria Cambio. Katie’s Jewels,

8358. Through January 3.

featuring works by Jane Kramer,

Montpelier, 229-9649. Through

6TH ANNUAL TRADITIONAL ARTS

Sandra West, Emily Rossheim,

December.

Showcase and Sale, featuring crafts

Gertchen Verplanck and Jill Kleinman.

APPROACHING LIGHTNESS, a mixed-

from Vermont and the region.

Jane Kramer Studio, Burlington, 658-

media exhibit by 15 regional artists.

Vermont Folldife Center, Middlebury,

1449. December 11, 2-7 p.m., and

Furchgotr-Sourdiffe Gallery,

388-4964. Through December 23.

December 12, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Shelburne, 985-3848. Through

ART RESOURCE ASSOCIATION HOLI

CHURCH & MAPLE GLASS STUDIO,

January 5.

DAY EXHIBIT, mixed media by mem

Burlington, 863-3880. Holiday sale

DIGESTING THE ENIGMA, recent

bers. City Center Lobby Gallery,

and demonstrations, December 11, 9

works by Orion Fredericks.

Montpelier, 229-2766. Through

a.m. - 8 p.m., and December 12, 9

Metropolitan Gallery, Burlington,

January 3.

a.m. - 5 p.m.

865-7166. Through December.

DON SUNSERI, new drawings, paint

LOIS FOLEY: PAINTING. Also, In-Stall:

MOSTLY WOMEN HANGING OUT, oil

ings and sculpture. Red Mill Gallery,

“Foils,” by Ira Bartell. Firehouse

pastels, acrylic and embroidery paint

Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 635-

Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington,

ings and drawings by Sophie Quest.

2727. Through December 10.

865-7165. Reception December 11,

Daily Planet Restaurant Greenhouse,

TERRY RACICH, recent monotypes and

5-7 p.m. LARRY BISS0NNETTE studio art sale.

Burlington, 658-1450. Through

paintings on paper. Rhombus Gallery,

December.

Burlington, 865-3144. Through

Flynn Avenue, Burlington (follow

MATTHEW TH0RSEN PHOTOGRAPHS,

January 5.

signs), 652-2155. December 11,

new and older works. Also, JAZZ

WEBW0RKS, a creation o f Japanese

11 a.m. - 4 p.m.

UNDER FOOT, photographs by Misha

knot weed, nylon, acrylic and graph

RUTH GREENE MOULD, Floral Pastels

Makarov. Red Square, Burlington,

paper, inspired by Native American

by the late Vermont artist. Clarke

859-8909. Through December.

“dream catchers” and mathematics, by

Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Reception

VERNISSAGE 1999, a retrospective o f

Barry V. Miller. City Hall Showcases,

December 11, 6-8:30 p.m. RSVP.

artists represented by the gallery. Doll-

Montpelier, 229-2766. Through

CLAUDE LEHMAN POTTERY Holiday

Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-

January 4.

Craft Sale. Lehman Studio,

3661. Through December.

VERY SPECIAL ARTS VERMONT

Burlington, 660-4792. December 11,

ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOW AND SALE,

annual holiday card originals, show

4-9 p.m., December 12-13, 10 a.m. -

and silent auction featuring arts and

and sale at Higher Ground, Winooski,

4 p.m.

crafts in all media. Chaffee Center for

and Valley Air, South Burlington, 860-

OPEN STUDIO SALE, paintings by

the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356.

6220. Also sold at The body Shop,

Fiona Cooper, Dee Atkinson-DeLuca

Through January 17.

Muddy Waters and Peace & Justice

and Deb Ward Lyons. Vermont

RECENT DRAWINGS AND MODELS:

Store, Burlington. Through January 1.

Specialty Products, Burlington, 864-

Archetypal Forms and Entropic

MINIATURE TOY THEATERS, an

7010. December 11, 2-7 p.m. and

Buildings, mixed media by architect

exhibit o f puppets and sets by students

weekly page 40

December 12, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. MASTERFUL MUGS AND HOLIDAY

listings

on w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m

o f puppeteer Emily Anderson, spon

KEITH HARING, sculptures, drawings

sored by Very Special Arts Vermont

and objects by the late artist. Montreal

and Howard Community Services.

Museum o f Fine Arts, 514-285-1600.

Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library,

Both through January 10.

Burlington, 863-3403. Through December. TRAVELS THROUGH VERMONT:

A MOMENT OF RISING MIST: Echoes o f a Journey in China, photographs by Jeffrey P. Roberts. A Single Pebble

Thomas Jefferson’s Role in Vermont

Restaurant, Berlin, 476-9700.

Statehood, 1791. An exhibit presented

Through January 3.

by the Jefferson Legacy Foundation. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-

JANET MARTIN, paintings. Art Gallery o f Barre, 476-1030. Through January _

2117. Through March 5. Also, A GLIMPSE OF CHRISTMAS PAST:

5. ORGANIC CURVES, watercolor paint

Outdoor Fun and Fireside Pleasures,

ings by Kate Hartley. Smokejacks

through December.

Restaurant, Burlington, 660-2794.

ASSORTED WORKS ON PAPER in

Through December.

mixed media, by Leonard Duffy.

MYSTERIES IN STONE:

Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg, 482-

Public Art,

3040. Through January.

Barre and beyond, Main Gallery; and

featuring sculptors from

History in Stone,

PAST MASTERS:

media. Milton Public Library, through

featuring photographs from the

December 17, and W inooski City

archives o f the Barre Museum, South

Hall, through December 18, 658-

Gallery. T.W. W ood Gallery, Vermont

7454. PHOTOGRAPHS AND OTHER IMAGES

College, Montpelier, 878-8743. Through December 20.

by Ethan Jackson. Julian Scott

A GIFT TO THE COLLEGE:

College, 635-1310. Through

The Mr. and Mrs. Adolph WeilJr. Collection o f Master Prints, featuring 110 works

December 18.

on paper from the donated collection

OLD BRICK CHURCH, new pho

o f 257 Old Master and 19th-century

tographs by Fred Stetson. Dorothy

European prints. Hood Museum o f

Ailing Memorial Library, W illiston,

Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover,

878-4918. Through December.

N .H ., 603-646-2808. Through

COLOR-COATED: PHYSICAL AND

December 20.

PHENOMENAL WORKS, performance,

URBAN VIEWS: Really Big Art show

photography, sculpture and installa

and sale by Caravan Arts atists in a 4 ’

tion by Missy Bly and Josh Reiman.

x 4 ’ format. Fletcher Free Library

Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington,

Mezzanine, Burlington, 863-3403.

864-5884, ext. 149. Through

Through December.

December. Call for times o f Missy

SILKSCREEN PRINTS by Sally Stetson.

Bly’s performances.

Shimmering Glass Gallery, Waterbury,

HAROLD ARTHUR DRURY & CAROL

244-8134. Ongoing.

ROSALINDE DRURY, a father-daughter

A BOUQUET OF FLORALS, paintings

show o f paintings. Vermont Arts

and drawings by Pria Cambio. Bellini’s

Council Spotlight Gallery, Montpelier,

Restaurant, Montpelier, 223-5300.

828-3291. Through January 2. WILLIAM KIRBY, recent paintings in

Through January 1. COMPILATIONS OF KNOWLEDGE: The

mixed media. W oody’s Restaurant,

Diderot and Napoleonic

Middlebury, 388-0267. Through December 10. -;

engravings depicting French

THE PRESENCE OF LIGHT, pastels,

Enlightenment and Egyptian scholar

watercolors and oil paintings by Sally

ship. Fleming Museum, Burlington,

Loughridge. Isabel’s on the

656-0750. Through December 20.

Encyclopedias, volumes o f text and

Waterfront, Burlington, 865-2522.

POLITICAL PICTURES: Confrontation

Through December.

and Commemoration in Recent Art,

PRINTS by Bill Davison. One-Wall Gallery,

Seven Days,

Burlington, 864-

5684. Through December.

an exhibit o f international artists who address social and political circum stances in their work. Fleming

THE INFRARED SHOW, featuring pho

Museum, Burlington, 656-0750.

tographs by Catherine Dowd, Paul

Through December 13.

Hagar, Chad Harter and Matt Siber.

BEADS AND MORE BEADS, an exhibit

L/L Gallery, Living/Learning Center,

from the permanent collection show

UVM , Burlington, 656-4200.

ing how European glass beads have

Through December 10.

been used in clothing, containers and

UNEXPECTED PLACES, handmade

more. Fleming Museum, Burlington,

prints by Roy Newton. Red O nion

656-0750. Through December.

Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through

Y0SEMITE VIEWS: Mammoth-Plate

December.

Photographs by Carleton E. Watkins

THE LEATHER PARTY, drawings and

from the Park-McCullough House.

prints by Quebec artist Daniel Erban.

Historic milestones in photography

Rhombus Gallery, 865-3144. Through

from 1861. Middlebury College

December 10.

Museum o f Art, 443-5007. Through

FAMILY PICTURES & RECENT PAINT

December 13. ELLEN HOFFMAN, pencil drawings,

INGS by Alice Eckles. Old School House Com m on, Marshfield, 456-

and TOM MERWIN, paintings. Merwin

8993. Also, RECENT PRINTS, Buffalo

Gallery, Castleton, 468-2592.

Mountain Coop, Hardwick. Both

Ongoing.

through December. GRANNIS GALLERY GRAND OPENING.

SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, fea

featuring the work o f designer/gold-

kinds by area artists. The Restore,

turing re-constructed objects o f all

smith Tim othy Grannis and other jew

Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing.

elry artists. Bank Street, Burlington,

40 YEARS OF PHOTOGRAPHY, featur

660-2032. Ongoing.

ing black-and-white photographs and

C0L0RPRINT U.S.A.: Spanning the

books by Peter Miller. Peter Miller

States in ’98, featuring a nationwide

Gallery, Waterbury, 244-5339.

print exhibition. Middlebury College

Ongoing; by appointment only.

Museum o f Art, 443-5007. Through December 13. NVAA ANNUAL HOLIDAY ART SHOW AND SALE, featuring members’ works in mixed media. Red Mill Craft Shop, Jericho, 899-1106. Through December 30. DUANE MICHALS: Words and Images, photographs and writings by the American photographer. Also,

M IC H E L A N G E L O

Beyond

ELDER ART, a group exhibit in mixed

Memorial Gallery, Johnson State

ver

PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted.

B y M arc A wodey here are few human activi ties as old as shaping stone, and few art objects are greeted with as much awe as objects pulled from a raw block of rock. The hardness and perma nence of the material alone is nearly enough to make a completed stone sculp ture a thing of venera tion. When image and material find harmo nious union in a skillful carver’s hand, the completed work can pos sess a profundity that few examples of artistic effort can match. Perhaps that is why Michelangelo con sidered himself to be first and foremost a sculptor, and why our most sacred monuments, great and small, are so often carved from stone — it bestows grandeur. The “Mysteries in Stone” exhibit currently at Montpelier’s T.W. Wood gallery has examples of works by sculptors, carvers and artists who complete both the design and execution — the dis tinguishing difference between sculptors and carvers. Though they or their ancestors may have immigrated from Italy and Wales, all are now Vermonters who carry on the stone-working tradition of the Green Mountain state. The show emphasizes the work of contemporary artists, but an adjoining photo exhibit docu ments the historical context that gave birth to their tradition. Perhaps the works of Giuliano Cecchinelli come closest to pre serving the older ways. He is clearly a master carver, and his works are meant to have broad appeal. The standing figure, “Mr. Pickwick,” is basically a threedimensional illustration of the 19th-century literary character, and Cecchinelli’s portrait, “J.F.K.,” is another of those con ventional Kennedy heads that became a common theme in the mid-’60s — from ashtrays to the 50-cent piece. But originality isn’t really the

“Untitled,” Vermont marble sculpture by t

Joseph Brund.

The real “ mystery in stone” may be how humans ever began to carve such an unforgiving material in the first place.

point in such works. Rather, the sheer challenge of overcoming a hewn block may be the deciding force when an artisan becomes a sculptor, creating works beyond their shifts in the stone sheds of Barre. It’s hard to imagine how black granite can be carved to look like a thin bedsheet, but that’s exactly what Jerry Williams has done. However, the contour of the .357 Magnum under the sheet may be what makes “...a warm gun” so memorable. The exacting propor tions of the tabletop piece were faithfully transferred from the original objects by means of a compass and “points” that cued the chisel in defining the form. This traditional technique has enabled carvers to make precise replicas, in any scale, from some of the hardest substances on earth. Another ubiquitous modern. image — divined by techniques that have changed little since the earliest dynasties of Egypt — is evident in the “Stone Phone,” by Bill Kelly. It is a true-to-life tele phone, but lift the receiver and you find out how deceptive the material really is. The finest sculptures are gen-

erally heavier than they appear — the “Fruit Bowls,” by Garry Sassi, probably weigh at least 50 pounds each. Nevertheless, they are elegant and of perfect geo metric form. One of these pieces, 18” inches in diameter, is carved from a verde antique marble, vir tually impossible to find today. Sofia Shatkivska incorporates plate glass and stone in simple constructions. Both of her pieces are entitled “Simple Forms,” and one of them consists of two pol ished black granite 4-inch cubes separated by 4-inch squares of glass. The glass tiles are stacked like the steps of a spiral staircase, giving it the appearance of a frag ile structure made from pliant constituent parts. The glass ele ments look like slices of water, and the stone seems to have been molded into its precise planes. In reality, of course, stone is absolutely unmalleable. The stone-carving process is practical ly the opposite of other sculptural processes, where molding, bend ing and fusing can allow for mar gins of error. Not so with marble and granite. The real “mystery in stone” may be how humans ever began to carve such an unforgiv ing material in the first place. (7)

“M y ste rie s in Stone: Beyond P u b lic Art,” scu lp to rs from Barre and beyond, and “P ast M aste rs: History in Sto n e,” p h o to grap h s from the a rc h iv e s of the Barre M useum . T.W. W ood Gallery, M ontpelier. Through D ecem be r 20.

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Vince Vaughn is a lanky, cherub-lipped hybrid of Christopher Walken and the early Elvis, but one thing he is not — and in a million years could not be — is Norman Bates. No more than Denis Leary could be Rhett Butler, or Sandra Bullock, Scarlett O ’Hara. And do me a favor: If you see Gus Van Sant walking around with a copy of Gone With the Wind, grab it and knock some sense into the guy. A shot-by-shot remake of Psycho? I haven’t seen the Hollywood press corps this nonplussed since Mel Gibson announced he was going to do Hamlet. Something told me Van Sant was suffer ing from mental distress when he abruptly stopped directing brave, brilliant independent films and started wasting his time on mainstream fluff like Good Will Hunting. When I heard he had this homage experiment in mind, my imme diate reaction was that the filmmaker had gone over the edge completely. At length, though, I resolved to keep an open mind. But you know what they say about instincts and first impres sions — they’re usually worth following. Unless, of course, your instinct tells you it’s a good idea to mess with perfection. Anne Heche fills in for Janet Leigh in the familiar story of a secretary who impulsively leaves town with a

small fortune stolen from her office, cools her heels at the Bates Motel on a rainy night, decides to go home and give the money back, but takes a shower when she should have taken a powder. For a short while the picture’s same-but-different quality is quasi-diverting. The central problem with the project quickly becomes clear, however. You’re not only watching a story you’ve watched before; you’re watching it stripped of the ingredients that were key to making it a classic in the first place, including Anthony Perkins’ jittery collegiate spookiness and Hitchcock’s inimitable touch. Plus there is the fact that the film was set in a time predating the ironic, the tongue-incheek and the self-referential. Van Sant’s almost note-for-note cover can’t hold a candle to that. In fact, the director seems to have been unable to decide between making a straight-faced replica or an eye-rolling exercise in camp. Vaughn’s Norman is imbued with an overthe-top “heh-heh” Peter Lorre-ness, and Heche occasionally slips out of character, making her Marion Crane attitudes and gestures jarringly out of period. The new Psycho departs from the original in less haphazard ways, too. It’s set in the present day and shot in color. The amount of loot stolen has been adjusted for inflation (from $90,000 to $400,000), and Crane’s beau has, for some rea son, been retooled as a divorced hardware store running cowboy. The director has also embell ished the picture’s violent high points with curi ous images shown in flashframe. None of this makes watching a cheap (by Hollywood standards — $25 million) imitation of a genre milestone a lick more logical or fun. I can’t imagine anyone outside the corporate halls of Universal honestly giving a damn about this movie. The studio’s had a dismal year, and a bud get that low guarantees millions in profit whether or not a single ticket-buyer enjoys the film. If more than an undiscernning, diversionstarved few do report actual movie-going plea sure, it will be the most shocking thing about this lame remake. ®

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FiLMQuIZ previews THE IMPOSTERS The latest from actor-writer-director Stanley {Big Night) Tucci is a comedy about a pair of out-ofwork actors who stowe away on a cruise ship. Lili Taylor, Tony Shalhoub and Oliver Platt costar. JACK FROST Michael Keaton stars in this off-beat effectsfest about an aspiring musician who gets killed in a car accident and comes back to his wife and child in the form of a talking snowman. Okay. Kelly Preston and Joseph Cross co-star.

STAR TREK: INSURREC TION The ninth installment in the unscrubbable series stars Patrick Stewardtand takes place on a faraway planet harboring the secret to eternal youth. Brent Spiner co-stars, Jonathan Frakes directs. PATCH ADAMS Robin Williams has bucked the system just to spread a little laughter {GoodMorning, Vietnam) and practiced medicine without a thought to traditional limita tions {Awakenings). If you liked those movies, you should love this one, in which he does both. Based on the story of the real-life doctor, Patch Adams.

new on vi deo SIX DAYS, SEVEN NIGHTS (NR) Anne Heche and Harrison Ford are teamed in this Ivan Reitman comedy about strangers marooned on a remote island. With David Schwimmer. THE PARENT TRAP From the team behind Father o f the Bride comes this update of the Disney classic about twins who conspire to reconcile their par ents. Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson and Lindsay Lohan co-star.

face li Once again we’ve selected scenes from four well-known movies and, through the m agic of Film Quiz technology, zapped the fam ous faces of their stars right out of the picture. Your job, a s always, is to identify the

shorts rating

scale:

* —

HOME FRIES* Drew Barrymore stars in this dark comedy about a Southern belle who falls for a nice young man — and his stepfa ther. Luke Wilson and Jake Busey co-star.

ENEMY OF THE STATE* Will Smith and Gene Hackman star in Jerry Bruckheimer’s latest action package, the saga of an upand-coming attorney framed for murder by a shadowy intel ligence operative.

A BUG’S LIFE (NR)/i«« may have made it to the the aters first, but everything I’ve seen indicates Pixar’s clever computer-driven comedy will have no trouble committing insecticide at the box office. Featuring the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and David Hyde Pierce.

BABE: PIG IN THE CITY (NR) Everybody’s favorite ham is back and, in this sequel to the 1995 Best Picture nom inee, he leaves the farm for a taste of city life. Magda Szubanski and James Cromwell co-star. George Miller directs. ELIZABETH (NR) Cate Blanchett stars in this look at the life of the 16th-century royal. CELEBRITY (NR) Some of the biggest names in show business join Woody Allen for a meditation on what it means to be a big name in the ’90s.

*****

four films, anyway, minus their stars and with only a

NR = not reviewed

The cast includes Leonardo DiCaprio, Kenneth Branagh, Winona Ryder, Charlize Theron and Melanie Griffith, among others.

VERY BAD THINGS (NR) Cameron Diaz co-stars with Christian Slater, Jeremy Piven and Jon Favreau in this dark comedy about a bachelor party that takes a turn for the deadly. “Chicago Hope”’s Peter Berg wrote and directed.

MEET JOE BLACK** From The Scent o f a Woman to The Stench o f Death? Well, sort of. In the latest from Martin Brest, Brad Pitt plays a Grim Reaper who decides to get physical and sample the plea sures of the flesh. Claire Forlani, for example. With Anthony Hopkins and Jefrey Tam bo r. RUGRATS (NR) The Emmy-winning Nickelodeon series makes the leap to the big screen, and the Pickles wel come a new member to the family. Mom and Dad, keep an ear pricked for soundtrack contributions from Beck and Iggy Pop.

THE WATERB0Y***1/2 Adam Sandler plays a dimwit who rises to gridiron glory in this box-office phenom from the director of The Wedding Singer. W ith Kathy Bates and Fairuza Balk.

THE MASK OF Z0RR0**1/2 Anthony Hopkins plays a middle-aged

swashbuckler who passes pro fessional secrets on to Zorroin-training Antonio Banderas. Martin (Golden-Eye) Campbell directs. ROUNDERS**** The lat est from John ( The Last Seduction) Dahl gives new meaning to the term “high stakes poker.” Matt Damon stars as a card shark whose life is put in danger when he tries to help a friend with gambling debts out of control. With Edward Norton and John Malkovich.

A NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY(NR) SNL sketch vets Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan being their popular barhop ping characters to the big screen. APT PUPIL*** The latest from Bryan ( The Usual Suspects) Singer is anything but the usual mainstream fare: Brad Renfro and Ian McKellen star in the story, based on a Stephen King novella, of a sick relationship that develops between a teenage boy a Nazi war criminal.

single clue-ridden scene apiece to go on...

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at once that the title of the play would be its high point. They sighed and took out their homework. The rest of us took advantage of the situation as best we could and produced the level of din we felt was required to drown out the tedious trees. Representatives from the student council spun around in their seats like beacons, hissing, “Shhh! Shhh!” as less responsi ble citizens threw school sup plies at them. “I didn’t do nuthin’!” yelled the trouble makers, who were being col lared at random by teachers. Meanwhile, despite the disrup tion, the show plodded on to its unsavory finale, which found Santa Claus pressed to death under his presents.

arrived at Mr. Dingler’s office that afternoon to find him collapsed over his tele phone, his fuzzy head cradled in his arms. There was a bad nick in the back of his neck from a recent haircut. “Hey, Mr. Dingier,’ I said. Mr. Dingier slowly raised his head. His big white face was whiter than usual. “What is it?” he murmured. “You want to hear what happened last night?” Mr. Dingler’s telephone rang. He shook his head and stared at it, numbly. “Not another one,” he moaned. “Stop,” he told the telephone. “Please,” he begged it. “Mr. Dingier, aren’t you going to answer that?” “And just what am I sup posed to say to that poor mother?” cried Mr. Dingier. “That I’m sorry her daughter was violated this morning at the Christmas play? How could he!” A tear poked out of Mr. Dingler’s left eye and com menced its long, lonely journey down the great plain of his cheek. “Mr. Dingier, don’t take it so hard. Freddy’s a poet. It was a metaphor.” “It was no metaphor,” said Mr. Dingier, dabbing at his eyes with his tie. “Those poor, poor girls,” he added in a small, grief-stricken voice. “Now I know what it’s like to be raped!” he wailed, and put his head back down on his desk. I had never seen a man cry before. It was fascinating and upsetting and made me feel compelled to cheer him up. “Hey, Mr. Dingier,” I said, “last night while we were making out, Freddy told me I made him feel alive as an anthill. I mean, talk about bad metaphors. Mr. Dingier suddenly lurched up in his chair as if he’d been shot in the back.

“Mr. Dingier? Are you okay?” -■* ' ‘ jjy. • “Get out!” shouted the guidance counselor. “I’ve had enough of your filthy mouth!” “But Mr. Dingier, I thought you said it was healthy to talk about sex!” “If I said that, it’s not what I meant!” declared Mr. Dingier. “You’d better get your fantasies

However, as Coach Potter -pointed out, Freddy was one of the few players who was over six feet and the big game was just around the corner. So, after a three-day suspen sion and a satisfactory conclu sion to the basketball season, Freddy’s notoriety faded. Until a couple years ago, when he won the National Book Award

A desperate Santa dashed across the stage pursued by six giant gifts and some reindeer as a chorus of Christmas trees read aloud from Das Kapital. under control, young lady, or there’s going to be big trouble!” The principal’s response to the crisis was less complex than Mr. Dingler’s. Dr. Minnow threatened Freddy with expul sion and promised to kick him off the basketball team.

for Poetry and, having been the only person in the history of our school who had managed to become famous, was sum moned back to the auditorium to receive a bronze plaque des ignating him an outstanding alumni. ©

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of course. Even Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, a classic TV special powered by the dra matic possibility that there will be no presents this year, can also be read as a communist screed against working for the man. Why else would Herbie the Elf throw off the yoke of his spirit-killing toy-factory job for a career in dentistry? Or do we find it mere coin cidence that Rudolph is a Slavic name and his nose bright red? Or that abominable and prole tariat have the same number of syllables? The uneasy coexistence of

Desire Under the Elves, produced by Green Candle Theatre Company, directed by Chris Cweika, Shoebox Theater, 135 Pearl St., Burlington, December 10-13, 17-19. The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, produced by Champlain Arts Theatre Company, directed by Margie Cain and Jean Martellaro, Burlington City Hall Auditorium, December 11-12.

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sweatshop labor and holiday cheer are the subject o f GreenCandle Theatre Company’s cur-^ rent production, the bawdy comedy Desire Under the Elves, directed by Chris Cweika. Drawing equally from the American archetypal conscious ness of Rudolph and the Sally Field movie Norma Rae, the play by New York City drama tist Robert Coles finds Santas elves working mandatory over time under the lash of a nut cracking Mrs. Claus. That lash is a riding crop, actually, and Mrs. Claus’ red satin bustier and black fishnet stockings are a sexual harassment suit just waiting to happen. Only it’s Mrs. Claus, played by Pamela Dewey, who’s doing the harassing. A la Demi Moore in Disclosure, she offers workerelf Lorna Mae Elfbridges (Bridget O ’Connor) a promo tion in exchange for sexual favors involving barnyard fan tasies. Meanwhile, Lorna Mae’s best friend, Fannie Lou Elftwistle (Tracey Girdich), fed up with working conditions — and badly in need of some lovin’ — has summoned International Union of Elves field agent Leon Elfenstein (Scott Weber) to the North Pole to help the elves organize.

Add to this a budding gay romance between elves Brick (Paul Soychak) and Chance (Jason Thibeau), a drinking binge for Santa (Mike Hayes) and Lorna Mae’s dysfunctional marriage to the beer-swilling layabout Jimmy Beau Elfbridges (Alex Ball), and the play is

accents surely will. For some inexplicable reason, most of theseTsforth country folk speak a Southern trailer-park dialect. Exceptions are Leon, who, being a labor leader with a Jewish-sounding surname, nat urally must speak fluent Noo Yawk, and Mrs. Claus, whose

This romp is at once so thin and so outra geous it makes ,

finch Who Stole Christmas look like Dr. Zhivago. about as far from family enter tainment as you can get with out a snowmobile. Desire Under the Elves is not much closer to straight theater, either. If the characters’ names don’t tip you off to the campy style of this twisted piece of theatrical fruitcake, then their

leather boots, cape and naughty agenda call for — what else? — the dominatrix’s hybrid German-Russian accent. Santa hardly speaks at all as he dod ders from scene to scene look ing for misplaced cocktails and trying not to interrupt his wife’s sordid dealings.

Finding Desire Under the Elves funny is an all-or-nothing proposition.^Once this play.,takes off, it heads straight over the top and stays there. W hat passes for character develop ment are a series of schticky moments. There’s Brick and Chance making goo-goo eyes, then making out, in the break room. There’s Mrs. Claus thun dering imperiously about, alter nately issuing edicts to the workers and leering at Lorna Mae. And then there’s Santa — a lush! Ho ho ho. Its revolutionary intimations notwithstanding, the plot is also wafer thin. While a story line does exist, pivotal scenes in the elves’ uprising are not dra matized. From one scene to the next, the union movement has apparently gained steam entire ly on its own. Instead, the play lingers long — too long — on what are supposed to be funny bits, such as Brick and Chance leading IUE cheers, Jimmy Beau drinking a beer and laughing his ass off at Ernest on TV and Fannie Lou turning her exhausted collapse into a sexual encounter with the CPRadministering Brick. If you find these bits funny, you’ll be laughing like Jimmy Beau. If you don’t, then you’re in for a

long hauL V - .jv- C O f the cast, $ridget ( O ’Conjiof and Alex Ball bring to the fullest life their white-elf r trash couple. Pamela Dewey is also a strong presence as the much becleavaged Mrs. Claus, though her accent is not terri bly convincing. Tracey Girdich and Scott Weber turn in less realized performances. As Fannie Lou, Girdich is too even-keeled to be a credible rabble-rouser; her lack of emo tional range makes her seem a bit out of place among the other elves. And Weber, though bringing a well-measured dose of sophistication to the redneck community, occasionally seems more like a narrator than a cen tral character. Even his accent comes to sound like Jimmy Durante in Frosty the Snowman. Really, though, saying much about the acting in Desire Under the Elves is difficult, since the play is essentially a cartoon. Actually, I take that back. To call Desire Under the Elves a car toon is to do an injustice to many fine animated Christmas specials. This romp is at once so thin and so outrageous it makes The Grinch Who Stole Christmas look like Dr. Zhivago. If sexual hijinks in pointy Continued on next page

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Presents of Mind

^ Continued from page 47 elf costumes is not your idea of an evening of theater, you’ll be glad to know the bar stays open through the performance. Make mine a double.

he cookies-and-milk crowd may want to go another route: Barbara Robinsons G-rated The Best Christmas Pageant Ever! Produced by The Champlain Arts Theatre Company, the play showcases mostly youth actors in the story of rascally kids who bully their way into the annual Christmas play at the local church. With the regular pageant organizer laid up with an injury, it falls to parishioner Grace Bradley (Ramona Godfrey) to deal with the situa tion. Not only must Grace somehow direct the Herdman brood before they tear the building down, she must do so under the scrutiny of a pack of snooty church ladies horrorstruck at her casting choices. It’s difficult to say who gets what out of family plays like this one. Most of the adults in attendance seem to have come to watch their children per

form; the young kids in the audience seem interested main ly in the presence o f other kids on stage. The collective din of fidgeting in chairs, “outside”

tough, poor devil spawn of wel fare parents. Feared by their ” classmates and scorned by grownups for their wickedness, they have nothing to do with

them, and the more they hear, they more they want to’be a . part of it all. Before the pageant auditions are over, they’ve claimed, without contest, the

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U E P in dodders from scene to scene looking for lnflST IE m W voices being used indoors and the occasional squawk of a child all raise questions about who is paying attention to the story, and how closely. To the attentive audience member, however, Best Christmas Pageant offers a poignant look at what Christmas might be like for the have-nots in our midst. The Herdmans are the

such niceties as Sunday school — or Monday-through-Friday school, for that matter. When they get wind of a healthy snack supply awaiting kids par ticipating in the Christmas pageant, however, they decide to count themselves in. Way in. This business about Mary and Joseph and the baby in “wadded up clothes” is news to

BPS principal roles. What follows is not so much the education of the Herdmans as the education of everyone else about the true meaning of Christmas. Call it experiential learning. Instructed in stage combat by Paul Ugalde, the Herdmans bring a decidedly physical dimension to

their interpretation of the famous Christmas tale. Under the direction of Margie Cain and Jean Martellaro, they also present a nicely modulated emotional take on the holidays. That the pageant provides the first time they’ve ever heard of this Jesus stuff earns them the derision of their peers, but the pain beneath the hard exte rior of the young scamps is also evident. The ignorance that poverty breeds is a pretty sad notion to consider, no matter what a person’s religious beliefs. And while one might find humor in one Herdmans sug gestion that they swipe an infant out of a shopping cart to play Baby Jesus, such moments offer glimpses into the work ings of the disadvantaged child’s mind. On the whole, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever! is a light holiday entertainment, a vehicle for kids to put their powers of mischief to construc tive use. And these kids know just what they’re doing. In the tradition of the most enduring seasonal tales, though, the play mixes the merriment with momentary reflections on that old saw about giving and receiving. The message is clear as a jingle bell: Giving a kid a chance may be the best gift of all. (7)

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A new vocal group gets in tune with the old times B y P amela P olston ildegard may be hot, but the soothing chant of that 12th-century German mystic is not the only early music to hit a high note in recent years. For decades, the hills of the Green Mountains have also been alive with the sound of a less-ancient musical style called shape-note singing. Its best-known local proponent is central Vermont’s Larry Gordon, who leads a group of teens called Village Harmony ort tours all over the world. But the emergence of a new a cappella chorus in Burlington, called Social Band, suggests that interest in the style of the late 18th and early 19th centuries

fun singing, so the artier music of European traditions began to happen in church. So we’ve drawn from the Southern singers how this music should be sung.” A 19th-century book entitled The Sacred Harp, which is frequently updated, offers a multitude of songs written out. And just how should “shape-note” music be sung? A listener should not expectantly watch the shapes of the singers’ mouths — the term in fact refers to the written notes on the page. “There are four shapes,” says Thompson; “the scale is fa so la fa so la mi fa, and fa, so, la and mi each have their own shapes, so when you look at the music, it helps you figure out where on the scale you are. It’s possible to read this

severe and Calvinist.” In addition to those church organs, the later advent of recorded music, radio and rapid social changes surely debilitated the community sing — with the possible exception of annual “Messiah” sing-alongs. But it’s been revived in this century, perhaps in part because one social change — alienation — has gone too far. “It’s the most wonderful thing to get together and sing,” declares Jamison, a composer who says he’d been looking for a group to sing with for awhile. “The usual reper toire for a choral group is 19th century,” he notes. “I was inter ested in the shape-note tradi tion because people have been writing tunes in that style all along.”

f shape-note singers don’t make their lips do funny things, the tradition also avoids funny business in the vocal cords. “It’s more of a straight tone, not so much vibrato,” says Jamison. “It’s very suitable to early music, and also to just folks getting together to sing.” “We just saw Pomerium [a Lane Series concert in Burlington last week], they were singing Renaissance music, and they had to some extent this style Don’s talking about — no vibrato, just really straight and clear, no pretense, no wobble. Nothing too arty. There is vibrato in there, we don’t want to squelch that, but the kind of very wide vibrato that tends to characterize opera doesn’t really work for what we do.” “Why is it that kids make fun of opera singers?” Jamison adds. As a composer, working with a shape-note score is a new Jamison explains that cur rent interest in shape-note “goes experience for him. “I’m more used to swells and ritards, but back to 1960s, and an interest this music doesn’t have any in historically accurate perfor indication of tempo or any mance, cutting through layers thing — there are no dynamic of interpretations.” He likes the marks in score,” Jamison says. idea of looking at old reper “W hat’s cultivated is not the toires in fresh ways. dynamics, but the number of The size of Social Band is people singing. It makes for as generous, which makes for an many dynamics as classical impressive swelling of sound scores.” when all the parts come togethFor her part, director an accumulation of layers er Thompson likes the way shapecalled “fuguing.” Thompson note singing allows the leader explains she and Jamison were and the members to respond originally looking for about intuitively — much like the four on each part — soprano, way jazz musicians improvise. alto, tenor and bass. But nearly “You get the group familiar all the people they asked said enough with the music and you yes. “So we ended up with a can make those decisions on the slightly larger group,” says spot,” she says. “The director Thompson. “It seems about can make them, or the whole right, though we could use group makes the decision and it another tenor or two. I love the just happens.” musicality — every member is Thompson adds that the very musical.” way the group works together is Though most of the mem her biggest thrill leading Social bers live in the Burlington area, Band. “We do have a leader, some hail from as far as Roxbury, Marshfield and Bakersfield. but we usually sing in a circle, and the leader is really open to “I’m really excited about suggestions from the group — this choir,” says Sutherland, a

The later advent of recorded music, radio and rapid social changes surely debili tated the community sing — with the possi ble exception of annual “Messiah” sing-alongs.

S o c ia l B an d

has taken hold in the Queen City. The 23-member Social Band — which debuted last weekend at Memorial Auditorium — is just the latest addition in a little-known shape-note subculture that never really quite died out. No fewer than half a dozen such groups meet regularly through out the Champlain Valley — and their pot-lucks are leg endary. Social Band is Burlington’s first, and the com munity will have an opportuni ty to hear them in better acoustic conditions at St. Paul’s Cathedral this Sunday. The shape-note singing tra dition was nearly squelched by the advent of organs in church es, explains Social Band co founder Liz Thompson, an ecologist who also directs the medieval-music group Anima. “But it actually survived in the South, though it started in the northeastern U.S., particularly New England,” she says. “It’s quite lively, and people maybe were having a little too much

without the notes at all,” Thompson adds. “People who are good sight readers tend to ignore them.” While Social Band follows native traditions — its name, in fact, was taken from the title of an old shape-note tune — the group embraces other world music in its repertoire. Last weekend’s concert at the International Craft Fair appro priately offered not only a jaun ty Early American set, but 15th-century English, Croatian and South African, as well as contemporary originals — one by co-founding composer Don Jamison and two by member Pete Sutherland. One modern adaptation, too, is that the group will most likely be singing on stages, not under street lamps. “In the late 18th century and early 19th there would be community sings,” explains Jamison. “An iterant singing master would come to town and they’d sing — it was one of few occasions in which the genders would mix. The texts were often very

well-known Vermont musician and composer who, with his wife Karen, will perform with Social Group next Sunday. “Liz is really a fireball and I’m really enjoying it. I haven’t sung in a choir since high school.”

often quite strong suggestions.” Even choosing the repertoire, she says, is a collaborative process. Composing with particular voices in mind is part of the fun for Jamison. “It’s much more tangible, working with the art, rather than working from the stereotype of the com poser,” he says. “Mozart or Beethoven or Bach were work ing for groups. It was really all alive and vital, always audible in their imaginations. You hear those voices in your head.” Thompson and Jamison both grew up with music — “starting with the family in the station wagon,” Thompson quips — and laud the “heartfelt honesty” evident in the com munity sing. Jamison, who works with the New Leaf Cooperative Enterprise Program at the Burlington Community Land Trust, finds parallels with his interest in social justice. “When I look at musical orga nizations, they’re constructed like typical corporations. There are now several cooperatively organized orchestras, and they work really well,” he says. “I see a healthy musical organization as a paradigm for any organiza tion — very collegial, a great exchange of ideas. It’s very inspiring to my other work.” Asked about future plans for Social Band, Jamison jokes, “We wait for Liz to tell us when the next gig is.” But in fact, this community simply plans on doing what it set out to do: sing. A lot. “My hope is that we’ll be doing more performing, from here on out, forever,” says Thompson. “Another goal for this group is just to encourage the crossover between the ‘seri ous music’ world and the folk music world,” she adds. While that cross-fertilization is health ier in central Vermont, where ■ there are fewer musicians to go around, the barriers are stronger in a town the size of Burling ton, Thompson explains. “Its more possible to stay in your own little world.” “I’d also like to cultivate the composing in the group,” says Jamison. “That’s really e’.citing to me. I think if people just fol low their guts and scrawl things down on paper, they can do that.” ®

“Songs For a Winter Afternoon,” with Pete and Karen Sutherland, and Social Band. St. Paul’s Cathedral, Burlington, December 13, 3 p.m.

XW:

december 9 ,1 9 9 8

SEVEN

Movies and Other “Miracles” By Barry S nyder t’s interesting how central the mass media are to the way we celebrate our holi days. This Christmas, for example, there may be more people watching a TV special or movie in which people bake cookies, get together with rela tives, and decorate a Christmas tree than will actually do such things. Media-brokered repre sentations of the events we tra ditionally associate with Christmas may not completely replace the events themselves, but watching them has certain ly become part of what we now understand Christmas to be.

The fact that the Grinch or Charlie Brown or It’s a Wonderful Life is as much a part of the holidays as presents under the tree — or, for that matter, acknowledging the actual meaning of Christmas — is telling. Perhaps no more so, however, than the evolution of a religious event into a com mercial one. But I can’t be too hard on the films and TV spe cials themselves. Whether or not one considers them symp tomatic of a greater problem, they still richly and collectively define everything we think of or imagine about Christmas. Movies, then, fulfill the function of myth — those sto ries that connect us to what we

believe as a culture. Christmas movies resonate even more strongly, by connecting us with other, often older myths that speak to the question of what it means to be human, and about transcendent values. The following are a few of the most memorable represen tations of Christmas that exist on film or videotape. Christmas Settings: Christmas is an image of the possibility of human perfectability, some thing we yearn to believe against ail evidence to the con trary. In movies, this is often connected with a time gone by — a Golden Age at once per sonal (the departed days of childhood) and historical. This is precisely the function of the Christmas that forms the emo tional center of Vincent Minnellis wonderful 1944 Meet Me in St. Louis, set at the turn of the century, and featur

©ma V *e tL

pagd<50

SEYfN DAYS

ing Judy Garland’s wistful ren ^-jfnovies have given us. To para phrase George Bailey, Clarence dition of “Have Yourself a is just about the kind of angel Merry Little Christmas.” one could imagine one would In this film, Christmas Eve get if angels were real. is also the eve of the family’s departure for New York, which Santa Claus: Many people is to say, the imminent demise consider Edmund Gwenn’s of the family and everything it Kris Kringle (Miracle on 34th represents. The play of con Street) the consummate movie flicting emotions arising from Santa, but even as a child I this situation, and the release thought there was something that follows the father’s recan phony about him, something tation of his previous decision that made me lose faith in his to leave St. Louis, make this reality, rather than the oppo one of the most emotionally site. Like their poorer, depart powerful Christmas sequences ment-store cousins, movie in movie history. Santas just lose something up Equally poignant is the close and personal, no matter scene of the children’s what the costume and make Christmas pageant in George up people do with them. Steven’s 1941 Penny Serenade. Anyone who has endured the There is no greater piece of abysmal Santa Claus: The acting in the entire history of

Christm as is an im age of the possibility of human perfectability, som ething we yearn to believe again st all evidence to the contrary. movies than Cary Grant’s pre cise rendering of a father’s teary-eyed amazement and pride in his daughter’s perfor mance. Here again, Christmas is evoked as a memory of a time of harmony and comple tion, and played against the horror of the time when the couple, played by Grant and Irene Dunn, have to.deal with their child’s death. Christmas Angels: Traditional, Biblical angels are anathema to movies, because people just don’t relate to perfect beings. Their Hollywood counterparts, by contrast, are winningly human and fallible — crea tures who fall in love with the mortal beings whose prayers they were sent to answer, who fumble their heavenly tasks, and who are stuck somewhere on the path to eternity for rea sons relating to their former existence. On the one end of the movie spectrum is the suave, debonair, condescending Dudley played by Cary Grant in the 1947 The Bishop’s Wife (remade in 1996 as The Preacher’s Wife, with Denzel Washington playing the lead). On the other is the seedy, uncertain cowboy-angel played by Harry Dean Stanton in the 1985 One Magic Christmas. Henry Travers’ Clarence in It’s A Wonderful Life is the happy medium, and by far the winningest Christmas angel the

dedember 9,1998

Movie knows this. By contrast, screen Santas like the one played by Tim Allen in The Santa Claus (1996) are suc cessful precisely to the degree ' they depart from the tradition al representation and reinter pret the Santa myth. For similar reasons, the most successful screen Santas, in my opinion, are those that do not rely on human actors for their realization, but spring fully articulated from the fancy of animators, like the thor oughly whimsical ones found in the Silly Symphony car toons “Santas Workshop” and “Night Before Christmas” > (viewable on the “A Walt Disney Christmas” compila tion). Speaking of cartoons, one of my favorite movie Santas is the inverse image of the saint, something evil in the guise of Santa. I’m speaking, of course, of the Grinch, who dons the famous costume to slip into the houses of the Whos and deprive them of their presents, rather than the reverse. Brought to us by the com- “ bined talents of Dr. Seuss and animator Chuck Jones, the Grinch is a Santa for our time, a baron robber with green skin and a malevolent grin. Have yourself a merry little Christmas — real or virtual.® Videos courtesy ofW aterfont Video, Burlington.

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Seven Days is looking H for a motivated, * experienced ad salesperson to join our winning team. Make friends and money while you help grow the most popular weekly newspaper in Vermont. Established account list with excellent earning potential, interviewing now for early January. No phone calls, please. Send a resume and cover letter to Seven Days: P.O. Box 1164 Burlington, VT 05402

PART-TIME O FFICE COORDI NATOR. World Citizen Foundation, a small non-profit, seeks coordinator for 20 hrs./wk. $9/hr. Macintosh & organizational skills req. Duties include correspon dence, database maintenance, light bookkeeping, administra tive support, and some fun things, too. Experience with FileMaker Pro & Pagemaker a +. Fax resume & cover letter to 8 0 2 -8 6 4 -6 8 7 8 . Attn: Deputy Executive Director.

RECORD LABEL SE EK S PARTTIME OFFICE/M ARKETING assistant. Excellent organiza tional skills, good phone required. Fax cover letter/ resume to 8 0 2 -8 6 5 -2 4 0 6 .

$800 WEEKLY POTENTIAL Processing Government Refunds at Home. No Experience Necessary. 1-8006 9 6 - 4 7 7 9 ext. 1394.

B U SIN ESS OPP.

Temporary Services, Inc.

? Good Rep f

able to work independently, and be motivated to provide project support in addition to general duties. Interest in design and Macintosh experi ence preferred. Cover letter and resume to G KW Working Design, P.O. Box 1214, Stowe, VT 0 5 6 7 2 .

SEVEN DAYS NEWSPAPER is looking for a driver to deliver our paper to stores in the Burlington/ South Burlington area. • You must be available Wednesdays, 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. • You must have a van— not a car or even a big car, but a van. • You must have a good disposition & responsibility. Excellent pay for relatively easy work. Call Glenn for more info. 864.5684

BURLINGTON: Offices for holistic health practitioners. Pathways to Well Being, 1 6 8 Battery St., Burlington. 8 6 2 -0 8 3 6 .

BURLINGTO N: Office available in historic building. Prime downtown location. Parking. Warehouse and shipping avail able on premises. $500/mo. Call 8 6 2 -0 9 3 3 .

APT./H0USE FOR RENT BRISTO L: 1-bdrm. apt., above Bristol Market, full bath, screened-in porch. $500/mo., heat & elec. incl. Dep. & refs, req. Call Kim, 8 0 2 - 4 5 3 -2 4 4 8 .

BURLINGTON: 2-bdrm., Sunny, 2nd fl., DR, LR, Ig. kitchen, sm. enc. porch. Lake & mtn. views, nr. bike path & Burlington Colege. $750/mo. incl. heat. Avail. 1/1 (or soomer). 8 6 4 -6 8 1 4 . BURLINGTO N: Beautiful 3bdrm. Walk to water & down town. $930/mo. + utils. Avail. 2/1. Call 8 6 2 - 4 0 4 2 for show ing times.

BURLINGTON: 2-bdrm ., So. Union St. & Main St., 1 park ing space. $725/mo., incl. heat & hot water. No pets or smokers. Refs. req. Avail. 1/1. 8 6 2 -1 5 6 7 .

PER FECT PART-TIME HOME Business. Unlimited income, local support, hands-on train ing. 24-hr. message. Toll free, 1 -8 8 8 -5 7 4 -9 6 7 8 .

HOUSEMATES WANTED

WE’LL PAY YOU $ $ TO LOSE up to 3 0 lbs. in the next 3 0 days. We need 2 3 more people in this area to lose weight. Call Kelly, 1 -8 8 8 -7 6 4 -4 6 9 1 or (8 02 ) 8 6 0 -1 6 9 3 .

REAL ESTATE BANK-OWNED LAND LIQUIDATION 10.94 acres on Isle La Motte. W /1,215 feet along paved road w/utilities. Ideal for home or subdvision. Appraised for $25,000. Now offered at $18,000. W ill finance w /1 0 % down and $235.68/mo. CALL CHRIS 413-664-6422.

BURLINGTO N: 1 bdrm. avail, in apt. w/ 2 girls. Big, clean, porch, close to U VM & down town, off-street parking, W/D. Call Gabe, 8 6 5 -7 6 7 5 .

BURLINGTO N: Furnished, pri vate room and bath. Kitchen priveleges, laundry, on bus line, parking. $425/mo. Avail, now. Call 8 6 4 -4 8 7 3 . BURLINGTO N: Furnished, shared bath, phone, clean, quiet. No sm oking or pets. Walk to everything. $400/mo., incl. all. 8 6 2 -3 3 4 1 .

BURLINGTO N: Seeking a les bian or lesbian-friendly to share a 2 -bdrm. bungalo apt. in Old North End. $300/mo. + 1/2 utils. 8 6 5 -0 6 2 4 .

BURLINGTO N: Housemate wanted to share unbelievably beautiful, spacious house. Looking for someone who is responsible, clean and willing to live w/ 3 people and a won derful chocolate lab. Parking, W/D. Avail. 1/1. Call 8 6 2 9601. BURLINGTO N: 1 or 2 people to share 4-bdrm. house w/ prof, woman, 8 -yr.-old girl & pets. 2 bdrms. avail, for $500/m o + utils. Great loca tion. Pets & kids negotiable. 8 6 2 -2 0 2 6 .

HOUSEMATES WANTED BURLIN GTO N: Pets & smokers welcome! Sunny, private deck, fenced yard, parking, storage, 8 -min. walk to downtown. Quiet person, refs. $270/mo. Avail. 1/1. 8 6 5 -3 2 1 1 .

VOLUNTEERS BIG HEAVY WORLD S E EK S volunteers to help w/ the Web site. Into graphics, Web work, m usic & Burlington? Come rock w/ us! Call 3 7 3 - 1 8 2 4 (www.bigheavyworld.com).

LOST PETS M ISSING SIN C E 11/25 FROM lower Pine St., Winooski: A ll black cat with kink at the end of his tail. Answers to the name of “M ecca." Please call 6 5 4 - 7 0 8 0 or 6 5 8 -9 8 8 7 .

SERVICES CASH: Have you sold property and taken back a mortgage? I’ll pay cash for all your remaining payments. (8 0 2 ) 7 7 5 - 2 5 5 2 x202.

T ELEPH O N E JACK INSTALLATIO N S/R EPA IRS. Quality work, very professional and very affordable! Will install jacks for modems, multiple lines and extensions to anywhere in house/apt. Will repair jacks also. F R E E E ST IM A T E S. Call 8 6 3 - 4 8 7 3 for an appointment.

TH IN K IN G OF EXPANDING YOUR B U S IN E S S ? Ever thought of Internet advertis ing? Websites, Website links and classified ads. Email: O N N ETA D S@ aol.com or call 8 0 2 - 6 5 5 -0 8 5 7 .

CLEANING SERVICES HO! HO! HO! AND L E T ’S BE JOLLY! Forget the chores and hang the holly...but first, call Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 6 5 8 -7 4 5 8 . “Sh e put a smile on my face and joy in my heart!" — Kriss Kringle.

DATING SERVICES COM PATIBLES. HOLIDAY S P E CIAL: Singles meet by being in the same place as other sin gles. W e’ve made this the best time to connect you. Call for details, 8 6 3 -4 3 0 8 . www.compatibles.com.

N .E. SIN G L E S CONNECTION: Dating & Friendship Network for relationship minded Single Adults. Professional, Intel ligent, Personal. Lifetime membership, Newsletter. For Free info, (8 0 0 ) 7 7 5 -3 0 9 0 .

please note: refunds cannot be granted for any reason, adjustments will be credited to the advertiser’s account toward future classifieds placement only, we proofread carefully, but even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to republication in any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days seven ’ days reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal.

s?¥.in m

AUTOMOTIVE

NEEDACARP

ONE GOOD CAR! 1991 HONDA W/ 4-wheel drive. One owner and well maintained, red, 4-dr. Honda Civic wagon with auto., am/fm radio-cas sette, 9 7 K miles and some rust spots. $3 ,5 00. Call 8 9 9 -1 3 6 0 .

WINTER RESTORATION PROJECT? 19 6 7 VW Squareback. Has: 12 K mi. on l,6 0 0 c c engine, good trans., new brakes, new muffler, re-built carbs., little rust, inspected. Needs: heater, minor work & paint job. Owner unable to restore. $2 ,5 00. Call Gary, 6 5 8 -9 3 8 0 .

S T R U T S IN P A IR S Dear Tom and Ray: I've got a simple question. Why do struts have to be replaced in pairs? I have a ’93 Cavalier that had new struts put on a year ago after getting hit while parked. The same thing happened this year, and the left front strut was bent. My mechanic said he could only replace the struts in pairs, even though the right one wasn't damaged. I'm looking for an answer before I pre sent the bill to the person who hit me, in case he questions it. — Denise RAY: Well, Denise, there's no technical reason why you have to replace them two at a time. The problem is, the mechanic may only be able to buy them two at a time. TOM: I don't know about all companies, but Monroe, for instance, sells most of its struts and shocks in pairs only now. So your mechanic may just be passing along this inconvenience to you. RAY: In most cases, people are replacing struts because they're worn out, not because of an accident. And since they tend to be installed in pairs, they usual ly wear out about the same time. That's why they're usu ally replaced in pairs. TOM: But I wouldn’t worry about explaining that to the guy who hit you. I think he's more likely to question the new upholstery, the four new alloy wheels, and the new Bose sound system! Dear Tom and Ray: Last summer my family and I loaded up the ’91 Taurus and went for a drive in the mountains. When we got to an altitude o f 8000 or 9000 feet, we seemed to lose more and more power, and about the only way to main tain speed was to floor it until we got into passing gear. I assume the car was suffering the effects o f oxygen depriva tion. Is there a simple adjust ment that I can make to the car when we drive over the mountains again next year? — Mark

TOM: Well, I suspect that the only adjustment you could make would be to go around the mountains instead of over them, Mark. RAY: Your car has a Manifold Absolute Pressure (MAP) sensor, which auto matically adjusts the fuel mixture to compensate for altitude changes — and the relative lack of oxygen at higher altitudes. TOM: The problem is that it can only adjust so far. Once you get up to 8000 or 9000 feet, the air is getting pretty thin. And my guess is that the car just doesn't have as much air as it would like at that altitude. And when there's not enough air, the engine-management system cuts back on the gas. And when there's less air and gas, you get what? Less power! RAY: Keep in mind, this car was not exactly "over-pow ered" to begin with. Plus, you’re also asking the engine to do its maximum amount of work under those circum stances. You've got the whole family in the car, and you're climbing a mountain. So if that's the only time you've noticed the problem, I sus pect it's an "environmental" problem rather than a mechanical one. TOM: O f course, it's also possible that you've got a clogged filter. If your fuel filter or air filter is clogged, for example, the car would demonstrate the same symp toms under maximum load. So have that checked. But my guess is, you're just going to have to slow down and smell the fir trees next year, Mark.

V O LV O

Christm as Id eas from

BAD CREDIT?

WE HAVE MORE WAYS TO HELP YOU THAN ANYONE! CALL US

FIRST AND LET US

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1 5 % O ff ALL VOLVO

TO LL

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Seven Days Statistics

Happy Holidays, and we want to thank all of our customers for an excellent year! <

3 8 % Male 6 2 % Female

m a rtin

z d 4 lt

Shelburne, VT 1-800-639-5088

802-985-1030

What's one secret o f fin a n cial sucess? Driving a used car! Read How to Buy a Used Car: Things Detroit and Tokyo Don't Want You to Know. You can order it by sending $3 and a 55-cent SASE, No. 10, to Used Car, ROB 6420, Riverton, NJ 08077-6420.

IS A FULL-SERVICE AUTO REPAIR CENTER

Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care o f this newspaper, or email them by visiting the Car Talk section o f cars.com on the World Wide Web.

Tire Service — mounting, balancing, tire studiBng,

TIRE CHANGEOVER SPEC IA L — 2 TIR ES MOUNTED & RALANCED — VALVE STEM S Bring in Coupon!

$16

4 @$80 Snow Tires (Most major Brands available) Interstate Batteries in stock!

Kevin’s AutO Repair “Z ” After Hours Drop-Off

1 Member of

ATM 6 Gregory Drive, Suite 2, South Burlington cards

Tel. 660-0866 • Fax 660-2018

NEW HOURS: MHN-FRI 7:30

a m

. -

5:30

p .m

over 9 0 % of our readers have been to college 7 4 % eat out at least several times a month

K.A.RZ.

Check our used car selection - great winter buys!

Average Reader's Age:38

9 2 % of our readers will drive an hour or so for arts, dining, shopping or sports 6 5 % of our readers regularly engage in outdoor activity 5 7 % of our readers do not read the Burlington Free Press on a daily basis

Service Shuttle Rides

CALL FOR SAT HOURS

A complete list of all Automobile Web Sites in Chittenden County! Plus FREE classified ads!

^ j

Hill

’~ /o)— (Or

.com

W W W .

DON'T page 52

SEVEN

SEARCH! DAYS

(J fc e m b e r^

DON'T l^ ^ S

GUESS!

SAVE

THIS

WEB

ADDRESS!

Classifieds • 864.5684 TUTORING

ADULT

MATH, EN G LISH , W RITING,

TALK WITH LIVE HOT BEAU TIFU L G IR L S !! No waiting!

Science, Humanities, Proof reading, from elementary to graduate level. T E S T P R E P for GRE, LSAT, GMAT, SAT-I & II, ACT, GED, TOEFI__ Michael Kraemer, 8 6 2 -4 0 4 2 .

BUY THIS STUFF O FFICE MOVING SALE IN Burlington: desks, shelves, conference table, work tables, file cabinets, printer stands, student size fridge, com pres sor. 8 6 2 -1 2 8 9 .

W O L F F T A N N IN G BEDS

Immediate 1-on-l connection!! 2 4 hrs!! 1 -9 0 0 -7 8 7 -9 5 2 6 , ext. 9 2 0 2 . $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U (6 19 ) 6 4 5 8434.

ART IN TER N SH IP: Burlington City Arts Internship. Seeking reli able, artistic person for 2 0 (+/-) hrs./wk. Un-paid. Must be computer literate, write well and be familiar with local arts scene. Curatorial experience a plus. Please call Lisamarie at BCA for information and inter view, 8 6 5 -7 1 5 7 .

BURLINGTON to SUGARBUSH.

innection Call 864-CCTA to respond to a listing or to be listed.

MIDDLEBURY/BURL./SO. BURL, to BARRE: I am looking to share driving to work. Willing to meet half-way, preferrably on Rte. 7. Hours are 8 to 5, M-F. (3057)

I’m a working student looking for a ride Tues. or Weds, to Burl./returning Fri. or Sat. eve to Middlebury. (3035)

RICHMOND to ESSEX JUNC TION: I am looking for a ride to

MORRISVILLE to WILLISTON.

work M-F, generally 9 to 5, but can be very flexible. (3059)

UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON: I am looking for a ride to work MF, 8:30 to 5. (3055)

BARRE to BURLINGTON. I am a student looking for a ride M,W,F, 8 a.m. Flex, return. (3051)

HINESBURG to BURLINGTON. I am looking for a ride to the UMall M-F, around 9:30 a.m. (3040)

' TAN AT H O M E B U Y D IR E C T A N D SAVE! C O M M E R C IA L / H O M E U N IT S F R O M $199 FREE C O L O R C ATA LO G C A L L T O D A Y 1-800-842-1310

GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON. I’m looking to share driving on a smoke-free commute to work. Hours are M-F, 9 to 6 , some flex. (3038)

SO. BURLINGTON to MILTON. I

WINOOSKI to ESSEX JCT.: I am

VILLE. Would you like to have company on your commute to work 2 or 3 days per week? I’m willing to ride along or share the driving. Work 7:30 to 5 p.m. (2892)

BURLINGTON to U-MALL. I am being relocated to the mall and am seeking ride M-F/S, 9 to 6 . (2999) work weekends and am looking to share driving. Hours are 6 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. (3001)

BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I

HYDE PARK/JOHNSON to WILLISTON. I am looking to

am currently earless and looking for a ride to work M-F. My hours are 8:30 to 4:30. (3031)

BURLINGTON to SHELBURNE

BURLINGTON to STOWE. I’d like to hook up with someone and share the ride to work. I work 8 to 4:30 p.m., M-F with some flexibility. (2906)

share driving on my long trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8:30 to 5. (2997)

SWANTON to ST. ALBANS. I am a late sleeper looking for a ride to work at noon. I work M-F, noon to 7 p.m. or later. (3033)

PLATTSBURGH/GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON. I am a nurse working the graveyard shift, 1 1

BURLINGTON to SO. BURLING TON. I am a recent arrival to

to 7, various days of the week. I’m looking to share driving with someone dependable. (2993)

town looking for a ride to work M-F, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. (3028)

BURLINGTON to JEFFERSON

With all the construction on Shleburne Rd. & only one person in most cars, how about helping reduce the congestion? I’d like to ride w/ someone & willing to pay. Work 8 to 4:30, M-F. (2905)

RICHFORD to BURLINGTON. I

I’m looking to share driving on my trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8 to 4:30. (2997)

SHELBURNE to RICHMOND. I work 9 to 5, M-F & looking to share driving. (2814)

BURLINGTON to COLCHESTER. I am a teachers’ aide looking for a ride to Colchester. My hours are 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (3026)

Vermont^ _

Rideshare

BURLINGTON to SO. BURLING TON. I am an energy-conscious night owl looking for a ride one way to work around 4:30. (2983)

am working on a house in Milton for a month and seeking a ride to the site M-F at 7 a.m. (3036)

HOMEBREW

am a new arrival to the area looking for a ride to and from work. My hours are 8-5, but I’m flexible. (2985)

looking for a ride to IBM. I work 7 p.m. to 7:30 a.m., schedule varies. (3024)

MIDDLEBURY to BURLINGTON.

BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I

I am a ski bum working at Sugarbush this season looking to share driving to/from the moun tain. My hours are 8 to 4, vary ing days. (3022)

f i s IS

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I thought of this funny idea for a TV show with this one character w ho’s a pork chop, and his friend w h o ’s a string bean, and they both live together on a pile of instant mashed potatoes with some canned gravy.

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-The

ILLUSTRATIO N: SLUG

Straight

Dear Cecil, The difference between being a drug addict and a Straight Dope addict is that I can only get an occasionalfix of the Straight Dope. You make me laugh hard enough to put the pain out o f my head that the ruptured disks in my back are causing me. Monday is when the Internet releases the Straight Dope; I seem to need less medication that night to relieve my pain. So my question is, is laughter truly good medicine? — James Misson, via the Internet

Now, James. That’s not the only difference, addictionwise. You don’t hear about guys sticking up grocery stores to support their Straight Dope habits. Also, whereas most drugs merely make the world seem like a better place, with the Straight Dope it actually is a better place. That said, will a few SD-induced belly laughs cure what ails you? Well, if anything would, it’s gotta be us. But that’s a mighty big if. The idea that laughter is good medicine has been kick ing around for ages, but it got a big boost in the 1970s from Norman Cousins, the well-known author and long time editor of The Saturday Review. In a 1976 article in The New EnglandJournal of Medicine entitled “Anatomy of an Illness,” later reprinted in the book Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient, Cousins reported that he’d cured himself of a serious disease in part by getting a few good laughs every day. It all started in 1964, when Cousins was 49 years old. On returning from a trip to the Soviet Union he started running a slight fever and felt achy. Soon he had difficulty moving his limbs and neck, and gravellike nodules appeared under his skin. Alarmed, he checked into a hospital, appar ently immobilized by pain. The doctors who examined him were unable to agree on what he had, except that it was a “serious collagen illness.” (Collagen is a component of the body’s connective tissue.) One set of experts concluded he had ankylosing spondylitis arthritis of the spine. One doctor ventured the opinion that Cousins’ chances for a full recovery were one in 500. Cousins decided he wasn’t going to accept that grim prognosis lying down, as it were. He guessed his illness had been brought on by the stresses of his week in the Soviet Union (hey, no argument here), and speculated that he was suffering from “adrenal exhaustion.” He stopped taking the various drugs that had been prescribed and tried to buck up his adrenal glands with a combination of vitamin C and

laughter. He found that 10 minutes of belly laughs from watching Candid Camera” reruns would give him two hours of pain-free sleep. He moved from the hospital to a hotel and arranged for megadoses of vitamin C to be dripped into his veins each day. His condition improved, and in a few weeks he was able to stand on his own. The pain receded, and though his mobility was limited for many years he eventually returned to work and resumed an active life. Cousins article and subsequent book were greeted enthusiastically. He received 3000 letters from doctors, most of them supportive, and was asked to join the faculty of~UCLAs medical school as a lecturer. He championed holistic medicine and argued that sick people should share responsibility for their treatment. By the time he died, from a heart attack in 1990 at age 75, his views had achieved wide acceptance. Still, a few skeptics have questioned what Cousins’ account of his illness really proves. The diagnosis of anky losing spondylitis — a nonfatal condition, by the way — was apparently never confirmed. Even if it had been, AS sometimes goes away on its own. The fact that Cousins medicated himself with laughter and vitamin C proves nothing; he might have achieved the same result saying the rosary. Even on a casual reading his conjectures about adrenal exhaustion (huh?) seem ludicrous. Few doubt that an optimistic attitude can be beneficial, but suggesting that you can cure yourself through positive thoughts, as Cousins came close to doing, opens the door to faith healing and all manner of New Age foolishness. Ail this is not to knock the value of a few good laughs. Why do you think I write these columns? But if I ever get stabbing chest pains, the guy I want to see is a paramedic, not Allen Funt. ( 7) — CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, T1 E.

Illinois, Chicago. IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

december 9, 1998

SEVEN DAYS ...........~

*.\

page 53

7 0

Classifieds • 864.5684

M U SIC THE HELICOPTER CONSOR TIUM S E EK S DRUMMER. Commitment to regular prac tice, gigs and travel a must. Our influences: Zappa, Ween, progressive rock. If you ca n’t live up, don’t step up. Call Larry or Liggy, 6 5 8 -9 6 5 7 .

THE K EN N EL REHEARSAL SPACE: For m usicians & bands. Monthly lock-outs w/ 24-hr. access & storage, or hourly room w/ drum kit. O n site digital recording avail. Reservations required. 6 6 0 2 8 8 0 . 3 0 1 7 Williston Rd., So. Burlington.

M U SIC INSTRUCTION GUITAR: All styles & levels. Em phasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship & personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Revue, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo, etc.). 8 6 2 -7 6 9 6 .

PIANO: Beginning to advanced, age 3 to 103! Classical technique to improv. Open, holistic approach. Ero Lippold, 8 6 2 -9 7 2 7 .

LEGALS

M USICIANS WANTED FOR acoustic gigs: Thurs. & Fri., 6 9 p.m. Call Three Mountain Lodge, after 2 p.m. 6 4 4 57 3 6 , ask for Steve Blood.

DRUMMER S E EK S GIGS. Experienced drummer (3 0 yrs.) seeks blues, classic rock, pop country group. Back-up and limited vocals. Available for rehearsals. Leave message at 8 6 2 -4 5 5 3 .

12-STRIN G ACOUSTIC G U I TAR for sale. Excellent condi tion. $ 2 0 0 . 4 3 4 -5 5 3 6 .

SEEK IN G PROF. M USICIANS: South Catherine St. Jug Band currently auditioning for full time drummer & fiddle/mandolin/banjo. Call 5 1 8 -6 4 3 8890.

NEEDED: VOCALS/KEYBOARD player w/ vocals, M/F, for est. classic rock/R&B band. Booked into 1999. Call Andy, 8 0 2 -4 7 9 -9 4 2 9 , leave m es sage.

SEEKIN G KEYBOARD PLAYER & bass player to play mostly ska, some swing and other tunes with brass. Craig, 6 6 0 82 0 0 .

MAX MIX DJ/RECORD SHOP, 1 0 8 Church St., Burlington, looking for used DJ/music equipment, record collections and local clothing designers. Merchandise placed on con signment. 8 0 2 -6 5 1 -0 7 2 2 .

AD ASTRA RECORDING. Relax. Record. Get the tracks. Make a demo. Make a record. Quality is high. Rates are low. State of the art equip. & a big deck w/ great views. Call (8 02 ) 8 7 2 -8 5 8 3 .

EXPEREIN CED, O RIGINAL rock band looking for other groups to play out/double-book shows with. Please call 6 5 2 98 3 8 .

CITY OF BURLINGTON TRAFFIC REGULATIONS The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Com m ission as amendments to the City of Burlington's Code of ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

Sec. 10 . Two-Hour Parking. No person shall park any vehi cle longer than two ( 2 ) hours, between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 6 :0 0 p.m., Sundays and holidays excepted, in the following locations. ( l ) - ( l l ) A s Written (12) On the east side of South Champlain Street from the northern most edge of the drive wav accessing the Bobbin Mill Apartments on the south to the existing thirty minute parkins space south of the southern most edge of the drive wav accessing the park ing lot of 7 5 Maple Street.

Sec. 11 - 1 . Thirty Minute Parking. No person shall park any vehi cle longer than thirty (30) min. utes, in the foHowingJocations: " (l)-(4 ) A s Written (5 0 On the west side of South Champlain Street from a point 4 0 feet south of the southern most edge of the driveway accessing the parking area for 2 3 7 South Champlain Street to the Burlington Electric

wellness

LEGALS

LEGALS Department transformer.

locations:

Sec. 12 - 1 . No Parking except vehicles loading and unload ing.

(3 89 ) [In the space in front of 101 College Street]. Repealed

No person shall park a vehicle at the following locations unless engaged in loading or unloading the vehicle: ( 1 M 4 5 ) As Written (46) On the west side of South Champlain Street from the southern most edge of the dri veway accessing the parking area for 2 3 7 South Champlain Street running south for forty (40) feet. Attest Daniel Bradley Engineering Division

Sec. 17 . Designation of Parking Meter Zones.

RACHAEL KRAEM ER:

(a) Fifteen-minute zones. The following streets or portions of streets are hereby designated as fifteen-minute parking , meter zones: ( l ) - ( l l ) As Written (12) In the space in front of 101 College Street. Adopted the 14th day of October. 1 9 9 8 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners. Attest Daniel Bradley Engineering Division

Adopted 10/14/98; Published 12/9/98; Effective 12/30/98. Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add.

CITY OF BURLINGTON TRAFFIC REGULATIONS The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of Burlington's Code of ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

Sec. 3 . Stop Sign Locations. (2 0 1 ) [At the intersection of Blodgett and Strong Street, causing traffic on Blodgett Street to stop]. Repealed Adopted the 14th day of October. 1 9 9 8 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners. Attest Daniel Bradley Engineering Division Adopted 10/14/98; Published 12/9/98; Effective 12/30/98. Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add.

BURLINGTON - r TRA FFIC REGULATIONS:

AROMATHER APY

Adopted 10/14/98; Published 12/9/98; Effective 12/30/98. Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add.

CITY OF BURLINGTON TRAFFIC REGULATIONS The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of Burlington’s Code of ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

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December 10-16 ARIES (Mar. 2 1 -Apr. 19):

tions, like when the score as tied with less than a inute before the buzzer,

A long with beauty, truth and justice,

ight said he’d want this

you should give special attention to

role to be filled by a “D ” stu

cultivating madness this week. By that I’m not suggesting that you be

you’ll soon discover a secret which

enough is enough. For the rest o f

riches. (By the way, all these inter

dent — som eone, in other words,

an out-of-control narcissist leaving

will push you firmly over onto the

the year, I hereby decree that you

pretations apply to you even if you

w ho’s not prone to thinking him self

behind a wake o f chaos. Rather, I

side that awakens.

should not — you must not — swal

don’t actually have the dreams in

into a self-conscious frenzy but who

low your pride even once. Next

question.)

can act with uncom plicated decisive

mean you should slip beyond the polite reasonableness that inhibits

CANCER (June 2 1 -July 22):

assignment: Figure out what’s the

“Darshan” is a word that refers to

opposite o f swallowing your pride,

SAGITTARIUS (Nov.

ness. N ow I would never urge you

your imagination. I mean you should experiment with the delirious

disciples sitting in the presence o f a

then do it and do it and do it.

22-D ec. 21): It’ll be a good week to

Aquarius, but do you think that in

frontiers and cause the best kinds o f

holy person and soaking up the

(Hint: It might have something to

slide down the bannisters o f spiral

the com ing days you could call on a

trouble. D on ’t just be your self,

blessings he or she naturally radiates.

do with showing and telling the

staircases, buy yourself extra birth

simpleton’s skill for not overstrate-

Aries. Be a little m o rey our self than

I suppose it might also be a useful

whole jaded world just how intrigu

day presents (I especially recom

gizing?

usual. Tap into the gorgeous weird

term to describe the kids at a

ing your gifts are.)

mend forbidden toys), and change

to actually be a “D ” student,

your mind about everything. In

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20):

addition, I recommend that you

I’ll have you know I hoaxed Jerry

the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies jam

have several heart-to-heart talks with

Springer even before he started stag

ming with Celine D ion and Snoop

yourself using a variety o f funny

ing hoaxes himself. I’ve also rifled

ness at the core o f your unique des

Hanson concert or bankers at a

tiny — the inspired lunacy that

speech by Alan Greenspan. Even if

would evolve into genius if you ever

you can’t imagine yourself doing

learned to make it sing and dance.

darshan, Cancerian, I bid you to try in the com ing weeks. Your mental

D oggy D ogg on a Foo Fighters

voices, and that you sing, whistle,

through Jim Carrey’s garbage,

health will improve if you can sum

song, you’re giving uproarious new

dance and blow kisses as much as

glimpsed M adonna’s stretch marks,

m on reverent devotion for an awe

meaning to the terms hybrid and

possible. You’ll even be permitted

and discussed Jungian psychology

o f your 12 astrological houses is

inspiring person or phenom enon.

hodgepodge. You’re mixing so many

one temper tantrum as long as it’s

with Courtney Love. Q uentin

most likely to emerge as your fea

But more than that: Darshan would

metaphors and building so many

done with a clownish touch.

Tarantino once told me to get the

tured “H ouse o f the Week” in the

also have an effect on your intelli

improbable bridges and taking so

gence akin to that o f an aphrodisiac

many shortcuts that I’m tempted to

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-

hell out o f his way, and Marilyn

com ing seven days. I figure it’s between two candidates: your H ouse

on your passion.

name you “M ost Likely to Splurge

Jan. 19): If I’m reading your mind

shirt on two separate occasions. Yes,

on the Urge to Merge.” Keep com

as well as I think I can, som ething

I know a thing or two about fame,

bining things that G od “never

resembling love recently killed o ff a

and 1 can sense celebrity-level charis

TAURUS (Apr. 20-M ay 20): I’m having trouble deciding which

o f Justifiable Greed and your H ouse o f Share-Or-Else. T he H ouse o f

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In a

LIBRA (Sept. 23-O ct. 22): Like

M anson’s spit has landed on my

Justifiable Greed has an excellent

recent letter to advice columnist

meant” to see combined, Libra.

part o f your life that you didn’t feel

ma when I see it. I’m talking about

chance to win out, with its lush

Marilyn vos Savant, a reader wrote,

Maybe you can change Her mind

quite ready to let expire. I’d offer my

you, babe. You’ve got EXPO SUR E

feasts for the eye and its spacious,

“About how fast would a 120-pound

with the unexpected beauty o f your

condolences except that I know a

written all over your aura. If you

expansive m oods. But the H ouse o f

person have to run on water to keep

conglomerations.

secret you haven’t guessed yet. The

don’t have the urge or can’t create

Share-Or-Else has an austere, haunt

from sinking?” I knew right away

ing beauty that makes it a strong

that question could not have been

candidate, too. I w ouldn’t play favorites if I were you. If you’ll

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov.

eerie fact is that whatever you think

the opportunity to show o ff in the

you’ve sacrificed will return to you

spotlight this week, my name is

asked by a member o f your tribe. All

21): Here’s your dream glossary,

in a resurrected form. As the solstice

Bobby Nostradamus. (7)

you Leos know that you don’t have

Scorpio. If you have a dream about

approaches, death and rebirth are negotiating mysterious deals in your

endorse them both, they m ight just

to run; merely walking is sufficient

an architect designing a hom e this

end up in a tie for first place.

to stay afloat as you cross the water. I

week, it means you’re ripe to update

behalf. Beginnings and endings are

GEMINI (Ma,r 21-June 20):

bring this up, my friend, because you’ll probably be asked to dem on

your self-image. If you dream o f laborers erecting a stadium, you’re

conspiring to switch places.

In a recent Parabola magazine devot

strate this skill som etim e in the

unconsciously longing to have your

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

ed to the subject o f fear, David

com ing week — perhaps even sever

self-expression recognized in a larger

18): Basketball coach Bobby Knight

Appelbaum makes a distinction

al times. Luckily, you’re at the very

arena. Dreams o f a Jewish carpenter

was asked what his ideal team would

between dread that paralyzes and

peak o f your power to pull it off.

from Palestine may signify a need to

look like. M ost o f his description

ground your spiritual aspirations in

was predictable, beginning with a

a more concrete activity, like helping

seven-foot-tall center w ho excelled

dread that awakens. I believe, G em ini, that you’re now tiptoeing

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

along the fine line that separates

You’ve w on enough pride-swallow

the underprivileged. And dreams o f

at blocking shots and rebounding.

those two — but not for long. My

ing contests for one year, if not for

an artisan fabricating a sturdy trea

The surprise came in his desire for a

reading o f the cosm ic signs leaves

one lifetime. I’m proud o f your skill

sure chest could indicate you’re

reserve player w ho’d specialize in

me brimming with wild hope that

in this underappreciated sport, but

about to find a way to recapture lost

com ing into the game in clutch situ-

56 “American —" 108 Soprano ACROSS . Eames (71 smash) 1 Ordered 110 Fateful 15th 58 —- Dame 5 “Damn 60 Host a roast 112 He’ll work for Yankees’* peanuts siren 61 Creed 65 ’61 Marcels 115 Seafood 9 Defect oxymoron hit 13 “— luego" 67 Presidential 118 — generis 18 Shortly pooch 119 Actor 19 Couple O’Heriihy 70 Waikiki 20 Shake 120 Skater wingding spearean villain 71 High rails Babilonia 21 European seai 72 Word form 121 No longer 22 Classroom for “within" fashionable 73 Wordsworth 125 Bear out oxymoron work 25 Victor Herbert 129 Obstruct 76 Immigration 132 Tableware musical 26 Antitoxin oxymoron oxymoron 27 Common 80 “Of course!" 136 Like marble contraction 81 Beaver's dad 137 Macadamize 28 Disconsolate 83 Writer Rand 138 Fury 30 Is, for two 84 Stuck-up sort 139 Prettify a 85 Temptation 31 Rock's — poodle Speedwagon location 140 “Roots" 33 Fashion 87 Like some Emmy winner oxymoron bread 141 Toe the line 38 Red wine 89 Common 142 Formerly, 43 Tender encs. formerly 44 Way 91 Austerity 143 Sacred 45 Bk. conve 95 Tremendous DOWN bargain nience 1 Lowdown 46 Marge In the 96 Fasten an singer? fridge oxford 2 Pay to play 48 Actress 98 TV oxymoron 3 Morose Patricia 101 "Frasier" pup 4 Tolerate 50 Dotty 103 In the thick of 5 Hosp. inventor? 106 Corset part employee 107 Buddhist 6 Solemn 53 “Peanuts" t oxymoron movement statement

7 Ford or Grey 8Olympic hawk 9 Bookstore section 10 — -di-dah 11 Generation 12 Malicious to the max 13 “Bali— " 14 TV’s*— American Girl" 15 Salmon serving 16 Rows 17 Teen problem 21 Tumult 23 Part of EMT 24 Farm animals? 29 Nile slitherer 32— about (approxi mately) 34 SATs big brother 35 Rattletrap 36 Right a wrong 37 Bicycle trim 38 Composer John 39 Mighty mite 40 Basketball player, initially? 41 Yalie 42 Set up the ball 47 Days — (yore) 49 Slander's

99 Chum mate 100 “Private — 51 Unfeeling ('81 hit) 52 Carve a canyon 102 Behaved theatrically 54 Rock s 104 — Amin Leppard 55 Machine part 1051920s 57 “Dallas" heavyweight matriarch champ 109 Botanist Gray 59Hazzard 111 Tiff County 113 Insect stage deputy 62 Suspect 114 Judd of 83 Exodus “George & Leo" edible 115 "Washington 64 Mustangs and Pintos Square" author 66 Secondhand 68 Rachel's 116 Remove a sister brooch 69 Until now 117 “Fantasia" dancer 73 Has a mortgage 119 Prima donna 74 Poet Rossetti 122 Dog's dad 75 Went wrong 123 Trauma aftermath 77 Kim" setting 78 Helps a hood 124 — Benedict 79 Dweeb 126 Christiania, 82 Royal today headgear 127 Conceal 128 Discern 86Zip 88 Emulate 130 Vane letters Hillary 131 Strauss’ “— 90 Content Rosencompletely kavalier" 92 Cairo suburb 133 Scientific site 93 Hot spot 134 “Hi!" to Horace 94 Flat rate 135 Word with on 97 Kuwaiti ruler or off

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serious relationship or real friendship. ISO a good-looking SWM, 27 -35 . Must be interesting, exciting & reliable. 2227

LETS CREATE A FRIENDSHIP. SWF, 31, 5 ’i ”, quiet, pleasant, ISO SWM, 30 -37 ,

mama w/ children gone, who refuses to jrow old, is searching for that special, ovable PWM to share interests such as skiing & travel, who can be serious, too. Must still believe in love. Let’s take a chance! 2 2 7 7 _________________

FUN IS WHAT I LIKE TO HAVE. SWF, 30, oves the outdoors, dogs (I have 2), raveling, swing and looking for SW M who enjoys life. Friends first. 2279 atheist, loves dogs, extremely cynical, salving conscience through activist environmentalism, seeking peace/counry life with gentle, honest mate. You are probably tall, preferrably no kids, 35 -53 . thinker but work with your lands, not a veggie, principled, extremely liberal, patient. 2280

FAIR MAIDEN ISO SHINING KNIGHT! le’s tall, handsome, financially secure, lonest, romantic, chivalrous, sincere. She’s a very attractive, red-headed wonder; loves 4x4 s, children, gardenng, dancing, classic cars, cooking, ootball, thigh-highs, NASCAR. Sir ancelot, please reply; Jeff Gordan fans 3e cautious to try! 2281 ______________

I’M THE EXCEPTIONAL WOMAN YOU'VE

SWPF, 38, 5'8", NS, VEGETARIAN, liber al thinker, friend of animals. I like British comedy, hiking, canoeing, danc ing, art, antiques, museums and being involved in my community. I’m ISO a single male, 3 oish-4 oish, with similar attitudes and interests for friendship or possible LTR. 2243 _______

Dear Lola,

HOW DUSTY ARE YOUR DANCING shoes? Let’s kick up some dust together. Be my swing-dance partner. I’m 40 , fit, a little to the left 8. looking for fun. 2218

I knew this sounds like the classic teenag

ARE YOU READY FOR A LOVING chal lenge? Attractive DWF ISO fiscally/physically fit NS, ND caring man, 50 -55 , to share providence, poet ry and bliss. Mother of intelligent, delightful n-yr.-old boy. 2219 __________

JACK OF ALL TRADES, MASTER OF SOME wanted by this petite, fit, auburn haired beauty-in-search-of-a-beast. Prefer 40-45 , fit, active. 2191

LONG-LEGGED AND LONELY, SWF, 38, looking to make new friends, possibly more. Out going, active and love to laugh. Looking for men who are honest and don’t play games. 2212 ___________

A MEETING OF THE MIND, HEART 81 SOUL with compatible S/DM, NS, 45 60, is sought by holistic, fit, petite, NS vegetarian F with poetic expression and natural appeal. 2215 ______________

SOULFUL, INTREPID MUSE WHO LIVES in her body and knows what she meaff$',’se e k i sam e7n Targe, wise, sol vent adventurer who could sleep on the other side of my dog and not take it personally. 2216 ____________________

intelligent, holistic, athletic, adventur ous prof, seeking her match: within 8 yrs. of 35 , well-educated, healthy, landsome. Enjoys nature & outdoor activities, 8> knows how to love. 2188

A BOY, A GIRL, AN OPEN GRAVE... Morticia seeks Gomez for an unwhole some relationship. I have a Wednesday. No Pugsleys, Festers or Lurches need apply. 2189

nsn Asskwq women ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, MUSICAL, athletic, sober SW M, 32 , seeks similar qualities in SWF, 25 -30 . 2393 ARE YOU OVER 40, WITTY, INTELLI GENT, affectionate and— yes— attracive? Are you willing to risk an emoional involvement? If yes, perhaps we hould talk. 2 4 0 0 _________

er’s lament, and I ’m a little embarrassed to ask — after all, I ’m 27. But I ’ve set a date with a bey I just met and am pretty interested in, and I ’ve suddenly get three huge zits on my

face. Please remind me why this isn ’t imper-

.,4 Spctty in Shelburne.

Dear Spotty, I know what you’re looking fer; a soothing lecture about true love running deeper than the surface of your skin, be it smooth as porcelain or as erupted as Krakatca. Consider yourself sc soothed. Meanwhile, remember that zits tend to be more transient on aged faces like yours than on fer tile young teenage flesh.

SWM, 20, DIRTY-BLONDE HAIR, BLUE eyes, 155 lbs., seeking older F, 35 -55 ,

And while you’re

or discreet encounters. Will travel. Discretion a must. 2403 ____________

remembering, why not

NOTHING TO HIDE. DWM, 38 , 6’, 175

run down to the store

good-looking, quiet, smoker; can epair almost anything. Looking for one-man woman for LTR. What you see what you get. 2405 ps .,

SELF-PROCLAIMED “GLAMOUR GIRL"

1 8 0 0 710-8727

, co u m ew j

always wanted to meet! Classy & sexy, warm & witty, sensitive 81 beautiful, I love cooking, theatre, kids, animals, kayaking & silk lingerie. ISO very exceptional man, 35 -45 , tall & very handsome, successful & soulful, light hearted & fun, romantic 81 smiling, kind-hearted 81 affectionate. 2247

FUN, PASSIONATE 81 PRETTY. Loving,

SLIM BLONDE, BLUE-EYED MID-LIFE-

1L o v e

who balances with me and to share experiences. I enjoy movies, travel, working out and shopping. 2245

DWCF, 37, NS, ND, WRITER SEARCHING for kindred spirit who enjoys the quiet & simple pleasures of life, hiking, movies, science fiction, cuddling and is emotionally & financially secure. 2272

j f

SWF, 34, PRETTY & SLENDER, INTO A

attractive, slender, funny, ISO D/SWPM, 28 -35 , attractive, ambitious, outgoing, jeans/baseball caps, for fun, LTR? 2265

THE PASSION IN WHICH JULIET lives is so potentially infectious. DWPF, 28 ,

$1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

INTELLIGENT, PRETTY SWPF, 31, petite, Ctrl. VT. Interested in intellectual/cultural pursuits and cooking. Fit, but not athletic. ISO SW PM, 30 -40 , NS/ND, emotionally & financially stable, con siderate, with sense of direction in life and similar interests for friendship, possible LTR. 2180 ____________________

SWF, 44, 5’8*. ATTRACTIVE, NO KIDS,

eeks self-proclaimed “Bad Boy.” WPF, blonde, 30 s, seeks male: “good y day,” over 40 . 2223

for some Clearasil and a little back-up supply

of make-up?

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NEW-WORLD MAN. SW PM, 3 1 , NS/ND, very fit, adventurous, good-looking, into music, art, photography and going out, seeks SWF, 24 -35 , NS, for fun & possible LTR. 2409___________________

GIGGLES, PLAY & A SPIRITUAL LIFE. Sparkles & shiny colors at craft fair & the Met. Moussaka, pasta bolognese, massages, Bach with candle-lit bath. Mozart festival picnics, mtn., lake, sun sets & walks in the woods. Seeks SWPF. Unity reader a +. 2410 _________

40ISH SM, $’8 ”, FIT, EDUCATED, com‘municative, no dependents. Openminded realist, sense of humor, seeks special woman for monogamous holiday romance, and maybe more. 2356

SWPM, 31, NS, SELF-EMPLOYED, col lege grad., laid back personality, slight disability, enjoys movies, theater, ski ing, walking & dancing. Seeks SF with open heart, easy laugh and sense of adventure. 2 3 6 6 ________________ ____

REAL 21ST CENTURY MAN...NOT A 20TH century imitation. Resilient, resolute, spiritual DWM, 41 , Ctrl. VT, seeks intel ligent and diverse, NS/NA, PC vixen to reformat life with. 2370

COURAGEOUS 8t FREE, EMERGING spirit. Think and feel deeply. SWM, 25 , 5 ’7 ”, flexible, loveable, good-looking, intelli gent, kind listener. Seeks friendship, ^romance, fun. Likes lots of stuff. You "are intelligent, kind, wise, fun, attractive, fit, 20 -30 - 2371 __________________ THE MAN YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED. I’m sensitive, but strong, real romantic, handsome, fit, energetic. Would do anything for that special woman. 38 , 5 ’n ”, brown hair, blue eyes, love movies, dining out, traveling, long walks & silk lingerie. ISO SWF, NS, 35 40 , childless, fun, romantic, affectionate & sexy, 2382

SWM, 31, NS/NA/ND, 6’, BLUE EYES, brown hair, ex-Marine, fit— physically, mentally & spiritually. ISO SWF, 25 -35 , NS, NA, ND, loves nature & self. 2372

SWM, 41, NS, ND, ATTRACTIVE, organic gardener, loves dogs, home, rural life, intimacy. ISO natural beauty, 30-35. fearless, strong, loving, happy, to share my home, mother earth spirituality. LTR. 2374 ___________________________ _ COME HITHER. SPEAK WITH TRUTH AND tenderness. Be of fit body and mind. Value education, health and serenity. Cradle the heart of this gentle, unique, gracious SWM, 43 , NS, ND, NA. 2383

NEW TO BURLINGTON. SW M, 34. 180 lbs., 6’2 ”, NS, social drinker. Enjoys nature, outdoor activities, dancing. Looking for a woman who can show me what this town has to offer. 2328

SEEKING INTELLIGENT, SEXY LIFEDANCE partner, love interest. Hand some, 50 , Hispanic, fit, creative, musi cian, pets. Lives in Plattsburgh. Enjoys jazz, cooking, Flynn, art; not interested in sports, country music or smokers.

2329 3 8 YO TEENAGER. DWM, SMOKER, tight drinker, likes all kinds of music— from alternative to Grateful Dead— ISO F ver sion of same. Skiing, fishing, outdoors, music, movies, etc. Let’s do it. 2332

one daughter. I’m a musician, inventor, hiker, photographer, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Let’s chat. 2334

M, 37, HONEST, DIVORCED, OCCASION AL smoker & drinker, kids: 2 teenage girls. Self-employed in VT music ind. 2341 ___________________ _________

NON-PC, BOSTON-IRISH GENT, 38, loves his kids, slow dances, the Bruins, bad movies, pint of Guinness and a smoke, the Stones, spooning and laughing. How about you? 2347

I AM ALIVE! SWM, 36, HEALTHY, FIT & clean. 5 ’5 ”, 145 lbs., NS, likes to travel & hopes to meet SF, 26 -40 , NS, who enjoys life & stays active/healthy. 2348

SM, 42, SOME BRAINS, KINDA C U T E cleans up well— seeks friendship & intimacy in a LTR filled with silly laughter & sweet love. 2352 _______________

SEPARATED WM LOOKING TO BE som e one’s special toy to play w/, enjoy life with and to sleep with. I’m in my 40s, good shape, have a job, but needs a place to live & be your personal slave to that special person. 2353

VIBRANT, INTELLIGENT WM, 36, health care prof, w/ European sensibilities & North American enthusiasm. Very ath letic, well-traveled. Loves inc.: music/ dance, get-a-ways to the woods & urban scene. Prefer 26 -36 , slightly cyni cal, possessing a good belly laugh. 2284 ____________________ ___________

SINCERE, HONEST, ROMANTIC SWM, 42 , 5 ’9”, brown hair, blue eyes, looking for SWF to share meaningful times. Must be honest and like to travel. Let’s cash in on life together. 2285 _________

OPTIMISTIC, CHEERFUL, 43 YRS. YOUNG, educated (sometimes silly) WPM, ISO PF, 30 -43 , happy, employed, objective, physically fit and craving adventure/travel to uncharted destina tions. Romance/LTR. 2286 ____________

— — w

WHO’S OUT THERE?! Attractive, fit SWPM, 24 , seeks attractive, fit, intelli gent female for sweaty activities. Looking for someone a little different and is comfortable w/ her body. 2302

WARM-HEARTED, INTELLECTUAL out doorsman, 42 , DWPM w/ children, seeking serious, sensible, petite, pretty partner for hiking, back-country skiing & other adventures. Ctrl. VT. 2311

SWM, 22, 170 LBS. LOOKING FOR LTR. ISO attractive F who likes to cheat. I’m a clean-cut car guy. I make my woman happy. 2319

INTELIGENT, AFFECTIONATE, GOODlooking, liberal, NS, passionate music lover. Enjoy outdoors, cooking, conver sation. Young 46 , fit, not athletic. Seek smart, attractive, affectionate F in northeastern VT. I’m near St. J. 2317

M, 50S, SEEKING NS F VEGETARIAN swinger...big band, that is. Some notes are blue; the mall buildings are, too. Read the clue, & I will meet you. 2321

28 YO, SELF-EMPLOYED CONST, worker, excellent cond. physicatly/mentally/spiritually. ISO a sexy lady who knows how to make a man feel like a man. 2250

SWF, 37

•The Outdoor O csr CxcKar

used • closeout • new 19 1 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

lazy kisses. Attractive, balanced assort ment of virtues & vices. Seek confident lady open to life’s possibilities. 2251

MY FRIEND-LOVER FANTASY: Radiant,

TALL, ATHLETIC, FIT, ATTRACTIVE, affec

zestful, soulful, healthful, fit, athletic playmate. Intelligent, articulate, imagi native learner. Empathetic, giving, sen sual, loving, unguarded, centered, pow erful, independent yearner. Ready for me. 35 +. 2252 _______________________

tionate, progressive, well-educated, divorced, PS dad, 51 , likes conversa tion, ethnic food, films, tennis, hiking, skiing. ISO intelligent, active F for friendship/LTR. 2276

LIFE IS SHORT. A little bit shy, divorced for three years, & ready to start explor ing new adventures. I enjoy many out door activities, dining out or in, and good conversation. 2259 ______________

ADVENTUROUS, FIT, OUTDOORSY DWM, 4oish, enjoys biking, hiking, canoeing,

who likes to work out, ski, dance, ISO smart, sweet, caring, healthy, fun, romantic S/DF, 35 -48 . 2296

42 YEARS OLD, 5’ 9", 216 LBS., ENJOYS dining out, movies, dancing, day trips, cuddling, quiet times. Looking for F with similar interests for friendship, possible romantic LTR. Holidays are _______________ _ coming! 2 3 2 3

HANDSOME, TALL WM, 40, SEEKS

1963 MODEL: WELL-MAINTAINED PROF. equipped w/ independent suspension, overdrive, A BS (attractive, bright, sensi tive), boots (ski & hiking), tent, clubs, canoe, and other options. Has garage space for sleek, SWPF with great lines, classic good looks, and desire to see where the road goes from here. 2278

SWM, 26, 6’i ”, 200 LBS., SEEKS attrac tive F or BiF, 18 -45 , for fun and'games. Discretion & maturity ensured. 2264 CTRL. VT DWM, 44, SUM, SEEKING equal partner for fun & sharing life’s good and bad times. Optimistic, confi dent and adventurous. You be the same. All replies answered. 2270

THE COMING MONTH & YEAR DO NOT exist. Ours only is the present’s tiny point. Romantic, NS, ND, 39 , hand some, blue eyes, 6’, ISO pretty, sexy, smart, fun woman to share. 2271

attractive woman w/ a nice, big bottom & pleasant but passionate nature. Likes reading, conversation, passion & quiet times, too. Age, race unimpor tant. No obese, please. 2297

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Must be kind, spiritual and open-minded. Call and we’ll chat. 2237 _________

DWM, 36, GOOD-LOOKING, 5'9”. 165 lbs., realistic, honest, down-to-earth, looking for the One — open-minded, sane, uninhibited, honest, F. Age, race unimportant. Friends, LTR. Are you there? 2220

SWM, 21, ATTRACTIVE, WITTY, LIKES sports, music, quiet evenings, ISO SWF who’s dominant, kinky, funny, disease free, who wears sexy stockings, leather, garterbelts, maid uniforms, for LTR. Photo/letter. 2221 _____________________

CONNECTION HAPPENS. I’m 3 2 , tall, attractive, high IQ, prof., creative, gen uine, relationship-oriented. If you’re 25 32 , believe key to happiness is rela tionship, mutuality, nurturing, respect, sharing, call. Otherwise, don’t. 2226

YOU: YOUNGER, INTELLIGENT, NS w/ eclectic taste, reliable fire starter, enjoy antiquing. Me: above + shy, over worked supervisor, student, sports, avid reader & junk collector, intense to laid-back, some surprises. 2198

SINGLE DAD, 52, SEEKS YOUNGER female for dating, to LTR. Single parent okay. No head games. Honesty a must. Rutland/Manchester area. 2233

NICE GUYS FINISHING LAST HAS COME to an end. We’re taking over. Looking for a great lady to help this SWM, 25 , start the revolution. Let’s start a great cause. 2199

DWM, NS, MID-40S, LOVES LIFE’S pas sions. I’m youthful, creative, fun, gen tle, fit, adventuresome. Enjoy dancing, travel, hiking, kayaking, XC skiing, working out, gardening, art, antiques, food/wine. Have two part-time, live-in, wonderful children. ISO fit, NS, sensual lady, 33 -48 ish, to share similar inter ests. Value humor, smiles, laughs, ten der touch, some spontaneity for quality friendship and/or LTR. 2246

COUNT DRACULA SEEKS MINA TO BITE into love. SWPM, 42 , blue-eyed, active night creature wants directions straight to the SWF soul mate’s heart. Remember, true love never dies. 2210

GOLDILOCKS DESIRED FOR STORYBOOK life w/ attractive, successful, SWPM, 50 ,

SOULFUL SYNERGY. SWPM, 54- WHAT’S important? Friends, the country life, thoughts, values, passions, humor. ISO a kind woman who walks lightly on the sands of time. 2241 ___________________ folksy, literate. No kids, ex, or bag gage. ISO harmonious F forever. 2242

5 o c . i M . U F e °E E.TtlM A G r R E E f L . . ,

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SCM, 36, SEEKS SCF FOR FRIENDSHIP.

SWPM, 34, MUSICIAN, HIKER, RURAL,

MONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS? Tu 5T SMPOUT OFTHM" WOEFUL STATEOFSELFPITY, KlND’A D EPRESSED ? ; (Pic k u p t h e (Ph o n e ,

Ho hanpsome. flahhelbeSHIRTED hunk To LOCKUPS WITHUNDERXMAS MORNING ig^MlSTELTOE? ’W t

control either way. Want to share life’s adventures? Call, I don’t bite. 2248

faceted, musical, spontaneous, embod ied woman for mundane activities & bubble baths. 2224 ___________________

seeks humorous, active, attractive WF, 25 -3 2 . Will reciprocate on massage. Perhaps. 2301 __________

XC, etc. ISO attractive, fit, petite F w/ similar interests to enjoy outdoors, nature & hopefully more. 2260 ________

I KNOW THAT what I’m doing now isn’t living. Fit DWM, 45 , ISO fit partner. No

RECEPTIVE, EBULLIENT, LUMINOUS, earthy, resonant, athletic SWM, 3 7 , 5 ’n ”, 185 lbs. NS vegetarian ISO multi

ry, no longer slaying dragons. Living alone in his castle. Would like to serve his queen, 35 -42 , beautiful inside/outside. Share love, laughter & fun. 2225

YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE. Attractive, honest, sensitive, reliable DWM, 48 ,

Winner also receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker’s Guide to VT from

24 0 6

HANDSOME KNIGHT, of honor & chival

road bikes, skiing, outdoor activities, health-minded, movies, dancing, dinning out. Looking for best friend. 2295

1110 Shelburne Rd., So. Burlington 651-8774

SEMI-SERIOUS DWPM, 40S, LOVER OF museums, mtd. trails, carriage rides &.

native of NYC, been at school in VT for four years now. Seek funny, cool girl who likes fun and adventure. 2268

STRONG 8l SILENT, EDUCATED, VERY busy, 6’, active, health club, mountain/

Ribs • Rotlsserie Chicken & More! 4 p.m. — 10 p.m.

high energy, independent, hon est, fun. ISO SWM, 3 5 -4 5 . that’s courageous, respectful, well-read & well-dressed for conversation, dinner & danc ing. Smokers OK.

SMART, HEP, FUNNY, CUTE, GEMINI,

lbs., average looks. Honest, hard-work ing outdoorsman. Likes country music, gardening, hunting, running, sunrise, quiet evenings & good company. 2288

Personal of the Week wins dinner for two at

ROCK-N-ROLLER. ATTRACTIVE

STIMULATE MY BRAIN. MAKE ME LAUGH. A massage would be nice, too. SWM, 3 1 , witty, athletic, articulate,

LIFE’S SIMPLE PLEASURES CAN BE shared with this DWM, 32 , 5 ’io ”, 165

$ 1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

X^StrocTiomal home |

NS, teddy bear. Great book, but needs attractive, slim, intelligent, avid skier, biker, ballroom dancer, traveler to make best-seller. 2204 ________________

48, PROFESSIONAL, 6'i", FIT, reason ably sane, equitably pragmatic with a mild streak of silliness. Seeking attrac tive, slender lady to share our laughter and, if simpatico, commitment. Call or write. 2208

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MEN: HESITANCY IS NOWHERE IN THIS

lbs., kind-hearted romantic. Shy, b u t . ready to be set loose. Masculine, musi cian, loves outdoors, dance music. Eager to make new friends. 2330 ______

WIFE WANTED...PREFERABLY SOMEONE

personal, only true thoughts and feel ings for you... If this is unclear, don’t let it be; I’m all ears! 2222

elses. MaWM seeks MaWF who, like me, is way unappreciated. I know you’re out there, so call. You know they’ll never miss us as long as the TV's still on, 2367 ____________________

movies, dancing, dining, romantic venings, with a great sense of humor. Z4Q 7_____________________

GWM, 24, MASCULINE, LOVES HUNTING

wears the same outfit more than two days in a row, can humor me with chicken anecdotes, and maybe, just maybe, will be himself. 2308 __________

and outdoor activities, as well as inti macy, seeks straight-acting, masculine, fit man, 20 -35 , with similar interests. Hoping for a great friendship, possible LTR. 2238 ____________________ _______

TEACH THIS FUNNY, CHUBBY, UVM 18

BLUE EYES, GWM, 39, HANDSOME,

YO smoker how to treat you right. While instructing me on the fine points of love, we can take field trips and xplore our other passions. 2411 ______

GM, 38, 5’ 7”. 160 LBS., MUSCULAR,

young-looking, seeking G/BiWM for dis creet fun evenings. Inexperienced wel come, long hair a +, 18 -48 , no fats or ferns. 2312 ___________________________

iWF, 30, FAMILY IN THE RUTLAND area, visit often. Would like to make friends :o hang out with. Interests: movies, hopping, darts, and more. 2369 ______

GWM, 30S, 6’, 170 LBS., ATTRACTIVE,

hazel, PA, military cut, br./gr., glasses, attractive, open mind, heavy libido. ISO relationship-oriented man, who is at least 50% top, self-supporting and not afraid to take charge. OK if not out, but you should be comfortable. 2244

BEAUTIFUL, LOVING, VIBRANT WOMAN, 25, seeks girls like me to dance, touch, lay, laugh, be friends and explore our assion and glory. 2373

in shape, ISO intelligent, attractive, in shape guys, 25 -35 , for friendships and LTRs. Like to workout, hike, bike, trav el, socialize. Burlington/Lake Champlain region. 2316 _________________________

I WANT YOU!! GWM seeks international

DAYTIME FUN/STRESS RELEASE. BiWM will provide during casual encounters, no strings attached, to: clean, discreet, straight-acting Bi males. Experimenters, beginners welcome. 2235

M s in uniform. I’m a professional. Especially interested in B/A/H. Must be discreet. Deserve to have a sensational time. 2314

men Aoskinq men

WORKING-CLASS MEN: GWM, 39 , 195 lbs., 5 ’8”, br./bl. seeking G/BiWM mili

WM, 26, ATHLETIC ISO A PROF, ath?tic, experienced, versatile WM, 26 -40 . /lust be yourself. Humorous is a +. No kinny or fat men, please. LTR only, url. area. 2389

0 respond to Letters Only ads:

tary, law enforcement, construction, trucker, business man, UPS or other uniformed profession for discreet dates, 18 -45 . 2313

INDEPENDENT DF, 65. WOULD LIKE TO

eal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place In another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1164 , urlington, VT 05402

meet sophisticated friend/companion, 65 +, to share ideas and participate in the cultural life of Burlington. Box 399

I’M LOOKING FOR A NEW BEST FRIEND. Criteria: SWPM, 35 -40 , lover of moun tains, snowshoes, labrador retrievers, family, coffee & good books. Must have a warm, generous heart. Please write. Box 385_____________________ _

AeeJdnq ’RETTY WIDOW ISO GRAY-HAIRED geneman, 55 -65 , who is kind, open and

ATTRACTIVE WARM, PETITE, NS/ND, red-haired DWPF who enjoys travel, . classical music, theater, exercise, learn ing experiences. ISO S/DWPM, fit, NS, ND, 50 -65 , similar interests for honest communication, possible LTR. Box 388

t, who, like me. reads broadly, enjoys arning, loves life’s finer things and s a great sense of humor. Box 405

:, 32, BLOND, BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, eeks handsome counterpart, 28 -42 . ithletic, fit, articulate, passionate, eeks same with sense of humor, love if play, need for adventure. If you’re a knight in modern armor, I’m your fair maiden. Picture helps. Box 401_______

LOOKING FOR MATH BUDDY TO WORK on Calculus problems. 2392 ATTRACTIVE CU IN MID-40S, BOTH Bi, looking for Bi CUs, M & F, for friend ship & play. Bi self-awareness, intelli gence, honesty & good fun energy most important. 2402

m ________________________ SUNLIGHT FILLS A CABIN BY A moun tain stream. Bearded craftsman, 35 , NS, NA, ND, NTV, flexible schedule. Seek F to ski hard, play fair and have fun. Box 395_________________________

TALL, HANDSOME ARTIST, POET, Taoist monk and weekend father, 49 , seeking companionship w/ beautiful woman, any age, race or color, with a curious mind, open heart, soft style and imagination. Box 376______________________

RETIRED DPM ISO GRAY-HAIRED LADY, 55 -65 . who’s warm, open, sharing & fit, LIFTS TOO SHORT FOR ORDINARY things. Articulate, active, educated man on cusp of 40s searching for adventur ous woman who is doing/has done things out of the ordinary with her life to compare notes and plot possible course together. Box 403______________

WHERE ARE YOU? Intelligent, attractive WF, young- 3 os, seeks similar man w/ ense of humor about life. Join me Tun ing, hiking, skiing, laughing, dining, aveling and/or dancing! Don’t be shy! ox 3 9 2 _________________________

43. ATTRACTIVE, TALL, NS, PENT-UP affection for shy, intuitive, mysterious witch. We will be close, caring, private, enduring. Purring like cats. Singing like birds. Candle quiet. Where are you? Box 400

GREAT CAKE NEEDS ICING. SWPF, 36 , iright, warm, attractive, educated, oves the outdoors, has house and ent ers, seeks playmate/soulmate/boy-toy |!o share food, talk, wine, romps... I house, critters? Write. Box 396

MaCU, 35 & 28, BEGINNERS, ISO CU or BiF for erotic times. Healthy, discreet, attractive. 2375 ______________________

SUBMISSIVE BiWM, 30S, WITH GREAT legs and attractive, seeks discipline by GWM, TV, F, or CU. Discretion assured. Other role-play welcome. 2385 ________

SWM, STRAIGHT, BUT A LITTLE differ ent, late 30s, great looker, seeking fun w/ women & lingerie. I’ll try on for fun & want to party with you and your friends. 2387

WCU (M, 35 8l F, 35), ATTRACTIVE,

who, like me, reads broadly, enjoys continuing to learn, loves classical music, has sense of the ridiculous & enjoys country/city & travel. Box 380

SHELL WALLY CLEAVER MEETS JOHN Travolta. Stuffing: Kurt (Vonnegut), Carson (Rachel), Kramer (Cosmo). Genuine, nutty, very fit, conversant, deceptively clean-cut quasi-vegan, 26 , loves writing silly songs, hiking, biking, reading and cooking; seeks smart, witty, confident, fit Burl, girl, 21 -28 , for friendship first. Box 381

HANNAFORDS, SHELBURNE RD., SUN. 11 /29 , a.m. We looked at each other. I’m interested. Let’s talk. I’m 5 ’9 ”, slen der, wore blue coat, drinking coffee. In my 40s. Call. 2390 ___________________

YOU: DARK HAIR, HANDSOME W/ A huge, beautiful smile. Me: petite brunette. Luck brought us together after 5 yrs. It’s so nice to see you, again. How’s my horoscope? 2404

CHRIS S., NICE TO SEE YOU DRIVE BY. Say “hi” again, sometime. K.C. 2408

FIRST TIME: COLORADO. SECOND TIME: Borders, late afternoon, Fri., 11/27 . You

seeks BiF for discreet fun & pleasure. Females only, please. Dinner, movies, dancing, cuddling. 2342 _______________

said hello, twice. How about a third? You: F with F friend, buying cookbooks. Me: alone, then and now. 2398 _______

HAPPILY MaWM, AMATEUR MASSEUSE,

ALEX, HAVEN’T HEARD FROM YOU OR

sensitive, sweet, listener, discreet, seeks only to please. ISO Ma/SF, any age/ace to give pleasure to. No rela-

seen you out dancing. Hope things are going okay. Bill. 2399 _________________

WM LOOKING TO EXPLORE ADULT urges witha fun F or CU. Age/looks not as important as discretion/honesty. 2345

ACTIVE CU, 47-52, SEEKS F OR OTHER

6’ BLONDE, BLACK 81 RED JACKET, Muddy Waters, Fri., 11 /13 . You: drinking a “spicy” cappuccino. Me: the hand some intellectual in corner watching you sip your luscious drink. Let’s meet to discuss the seasons. 2391

CU for sensual encounters. This safe, discreet, Montpelier area CU looks for ward to your response. 2346

SWM, 44, FAST-PACED, OVER ACHIEV ER, 150 lbs., 5 ’8", very fit, business owner, light smoker, loves cooking, dancing, shopping & my dog. ISO F, fit & friendly. Ready-made family nice. Box

• #

$ 1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

NEW TO PERSONALS, 30s, 5’io", 150

GWM, 20, ISO ANOTHER GUY WHO

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GWM SEEKS TO MEET OTHER GM FOR friendship & possibly more. I am 37 , HEART-CENTERED, ATTRACTIVE, inde pendent, active, aware, growth-oriented PF, 48 , NS/NS/ND, seeks kindred PF spirit for friendship, poss. LTR. Love nature, the arts, kids, play, creativity, spirituality. Burl./Add. Co. Box 406

GWF, MATURE, LOVES TO DANCE, romantic walks in the moonlight, can dlelight dinners. Looking for GF, NS, age & looks unimportant. Clean & neat a must. LTR w/ right person. Take a chance. Box 393

blue eyes, brow hair, very healthy, in great shape. I enjoy cooking, dining out, going for long rides in the country. If you’re out there, please drop me a line. Box 389_________________________

GWM, 5 ’11”, 195 LBS., LOOKING FOR relationship. Can travel. Any race or color. Box 384________________________

UVM QUEER, GWM, 19, 6’2”, 165 LBS., brown/hazel, student, activist, revolu tionary. Cute and sincere, somewhat shy, loves foreign/vintage films and theater. Seeking GWM, 18 -25 , who’s comfortable with themselves. Box 382

ONE-MAN GUY, 36, 6’, 190 LBS., GOODDIRTY BOY. GWM, 36, SEEKS TRAINING, discipline & more. Box 402____________ 48. 5’io", 150 LBS., LOOKING FOR M companion & friend. Enjoy cooking, quiet times, massage, rides & walks in the country. Rutland area. Box 397

MIDDLE-AGED, CLEAN BiWM WOULD like to meet WM, 18 -24 , for very plea surable sexual experiences discreetly. Pref. thin & dean. Box 398____________

EARTH LOVER ISO LIFE/TRAVEL PAL Kayak, swim, surf, hike, camp New Zealand, India, Ctrl. Amer.? You pick. 49 , 6’, 160 lbs., gardener, homesteader, ecobuilder (scrounged materials), offgrid Luddite, sports playing, massage, political activist, attractive, healthy top, creative, considerate. Box 391

looking, fit, intelligent, has lots to offer. Looking for that special male to build a quality relationship with. Handsome loners encouraged to reply. Box 379

DIEHARD PASSIONATE WM, very dis creet & absolutely healthy, ISO women who live to play. Love furry bugs, tight butts & large jugs. Platts, area. “Give it up to a neighbor.” Box 404 CU (30s & 40s) SEEKS TALL BiM, 3040 , for sensual adventures. Must be clean & very discreet. Light drink & smoke OK. Well-built a +. Possible LTR. We’re waiting. Box 387

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. P O IN T YOUR W EB BRO W SER TO

h t t p ://W W W .SEVENDAYSVT.CO M

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How to place your FREE personal ad with Person to Person (P

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Healthy living and healthy eating can make a real and surprising difference. For example, the solforaphane in this organically grown broccoli raises the levels of certain enzymes that protect and defend against toxins. Come in and let our skilled and dedicated staff tell you more about the benefits of healthy living.

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