Seven Days, December 10, 1997 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUI TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE •

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CEDO A SUCCESS I am moved to comment on the article featuring Diana Carminati, Director of CEDO ("Whither CEDO?, November 26). After reading the article and learning about all of the exciting economic development projects that are being managed by CEDO, I couldn't help wonder what was being questioned in the headline and sub-head (sic) of "...leading lady: does she measure up." As one of hundreds or more individuals who has been profoundly impacted by direct and sound advice from Diana Carminati. In 1991 I had lost my job due to the national economic recession. I faced the ^ w potential reality of losing many of the things a successful 10-year career as a designer had brought me. Frightened of the unknown but determined to make it, I went to the office in City Hall where Diana worked. ^^ She offered a kind ear and under|F"% j stood my situation, then offered me ^J^fffr sound and unbiased advice. In the few hours of my meeting with her we mapped out exactly what I had to do to educate myself in order to start and grow a business. One step involved learning how to run a business through courses at the Women's Small Business Project; another involved raising working business capital — both city-related programs that Ms. Carminati had created or was involved in. Six years and many hours of work later I am one of numerous individuals (men and women) who are running successful Burlington-based businesses in Burlington and giving back our talent, energy and money to our local community. So behind the scenes there are many of us who are definitely not whithering (sic) — we are thriving and looking forward to sustaining our business growth. Thank you, Burlington, C E D O and Diana.

— Kate Keough Burlington

Studios film that mistakenly believes itself to be heir to the as-yet-unabdicated Disney throne. Sure, I expected zero historical accuracy (handsdown victory for the film on that score, not a Bolshevik in sight!) and was reluctant, but willing, to stomach the base commercial exploitation of a great historical tragedy. But, if you are going to make a movie about Russia, it would seem a good idea to have the "Russian" words that appear in the film be real words, not random Cyrillic letters. And it seems odd that all the characters but the two love-struck protagonists speak with Russian accents (what, Christopher Lloyd can do Boris Badinoff, but Meg Ryan can't do Natasha?). But this is nit-picking. The real failing is the animation — voices simply do not synchronize with lips, and the stiff, computer-generated animation wrought by rotoscoping makes this movie pale in comparison to the lowliest grand duke from Disneydom. Kurth is right: fairy tales have their place. But to call this one artistic yet ignore its lack of spit and polish is like calling a Polish peasant a princess.

— Paul Richardson Montpelier (Paul Richardson is publisher o/Russian Life

mat MORE WEB

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I read with great interest Margy and Jordan Young's story on Internet shopping in the latest issue of Seven Days ("Webwise," December 3). To my chagrin, however, you did not mention our own Web site, the Adventurous Traveler Bookstore (adventuroustraveler.com) Please check it out: We offer over 5000 guidebooks and maps in a secure shopping environment. Unlike other Web bookstores, we also offer very detailed descriptions of our products and offer keyword searches that look through more than just the Title and Author info (a search on Kilimanjaro would bring up the book "Trekking in East Africa"). Our site generates over 100,000 unique hits each month, and to my knowledge we are the largest retailer of outdoor travel books on the net...

— Spencer Newman Burlington

letters Policy: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 250 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in

ARTISTIC? NYET Peter Kurth still believes that Anna Anderson (despite some conclusive DNA tests to the contrary) was Anastasia Romanova and not a Polish peasant, which suggests he is willing to suspend massive amounts of disbelief in favor of a romantic link to his past. Fine. Romance, history and royalty checks are hard to turn your back on. But Anastasia a good movie? Nyet. If anything, Anastasia is the Anna Anderson of modern feature films. It's the wildly hyped Fox

Seven Days. Include your lull name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VI 054021164. fax: 865-1015 e-mail: sevenday@together.net Photographers, want to show off your stuff? Contribute a portfolio shot to "Exposure." Send it to the address above or call for more info.

A BEAR MARKET? Reality has rained on the Vermont Teddy Bear parade. Can the once-cuddly company hold onto its stuffing? By John Di 11 on page 7

A JOYFUL NOISE Preview: Vermont Symphony Orchestra Holiday Pops with Tammy Fletcher By Pamela Polston page 13

JACK OF ALL TRADES A modern Renaissance man mixes fun and function By Ruth Horowitz page 14

OP ED; A SECOND OPINION President Dean? The governor needs a dose of reality By Garrison Nelson page 28

OUTDOORS:

ON A FREE RIDE

Getting paid to ride a snowboard? It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. By David Healy page 29

FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING Art review: George Segal By Kevi n J . Kel 1ey

page 33

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CO-PUBUSHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly ART DIRECTORS Samantha Hunt, James Lockridge PRODUCTION MANAGER Samantha Hunt PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Charity Clark WWW GUYjamesLockridge CIRCULATION MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS/PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Michelle Brown, Eve Jarosinski, Nancy Payne, Rick Woods CAL0IDAR WRITER Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Marialisa Calta,. Erik Esckilsen, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Tom Paine, Bryan Pfeiffer, Ron Powers, Gail Rosenberg, Amy Rubin, Barry Snyder, Molly Stevens, Sarah Van Arsdale, Margy Levine Young, Jordan Young PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Sarah Ryan

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^ — W m N u M i S| i Dear Cecil, OK / know the answer to this, 1 just want to hear some reasons. Why .. jCh. r It eau wood lt mwduces (sort oft,' - *

You know, Gwidion, a lot of people reading this are chinking, that's what you get for riding a motorcycle without a helmet. Not me. Truth be told, though everybody thinks he knows it when he sees it, there is no widely agreed-upon definition of life. In fact, fire is sometimes used as an example of something that obviously isn't alive but nonetheless exhibits many functional characteristics of living things, e.g., metabolism, growth, reproduction and so on. But if the func-

- clonal definition (it's alive if it acts like it's alive) won't cut it, what 4 <; will? Here are a few other definitions of fife; < ' ,;, ; (1) It's the name of a magazine. I'm allowed one inane joke per col-

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(2) Living things contain reproducible hereditary information. This is die genetic definition. You'll notice I avoided mentioning DNA, nucleic acids, chromosomes and such, so as not to limit this definition to life as we know it on Earth. Yet this definition is still open to criticism. Some people argue that a machine could contain reproducible hereditary information but we wouldn't consider it alive. Most scientists would counter, Why not? If we accept the possibility of artificial intelligence, why not artificial life? A more serious objection is that by this definition a v i r u s is a l i v e . A lot of biologist types don't buy this. A virus is basically a chunk of DNA or RNA (or computer code, for that matter) that succeeds in reproducing itself. But it's not a cell, which many consider the fundamental unit of life, and it doesn't do the things cells do, such as metabolize, react to their environment, etc. •i:,£M.l|II

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(3) Life is an illusion. Now I'm really starting to feel that six-pack. Let's set aside the question of sentient life to avoid arguments about the soul. It seems obvious that at some level al! we see about us, living or otherwise, is merely a manifestation of chemical reactions and the

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(4) Life reverses local entropy. Popularized by Isaac Asimov. In lay terms, life reverses the default trend toward ever-greater disorganization. Your initial reaction may be: Asimov must never have had children. Still, this one's got a certain appeal. In contrast to, say, fire, which in its uncontrolled form is one of your more basic entropic phenomena, life is a creative force. O n the other hand.. .well, think about it. At the low end of the entropic (i.e., organizational) scale we have the primordial hydrogen soup whence arose the universe we know; at the other end we have the Microsoft Corporation. No one 1 , 1 " . .A%f>mlr^A n r r n r r i n o for d wuttus l £first fitt illxo ouggvjw ivrv wmiigvi. JUJI, iv — —nontrivial way. Second, there seems to be a powerful antiencropic force in the universe (at a certain level of organization, some call it natural selection), of which we are merely the latest — and so far the coolest — manifestation. (Actually, I am the coolest manifestation. I just mentioned Bill Gates to be polite.) One more thing. When this question came up on the Straight Dope message board the other day, one confused philosopher 1 to settle the issue by saying,

— CECIL ADAMS & Cecil Adams al the Chicago Reader, 11E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com. dprpmhpr

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hunt statewide. The biggest threat to President Dean is Sen.. § Barbara Snelling. And her pitch will be "Vermonters deserve a full-time governor. 8 Its a mixed feeling of joy and sadness yours Vermonters deserve a governor who's 100 per1 truly s feeling this week. Fact is, the days when cent focused on the business of Vermont and I | Inside Track was just about the only place to find not someone who's using the position to launch j | out about Howard Dean's presidential quest are their national political star." J g over. After the little one-line zinger on the front Don't you think the prospect of taking out a g •page of Fridays Wall Street Journal— "Gore got Democratic presidential candidate early would ® | new trouble when Vermont Gov. Dean said he boost Babs' GOP fundraising 1 | will seek the 2000 Democratic nomination" — apparatus nationwide? | Ho-Ho is on everyone's radar. That's why Ho-Ho walked | i Friday night his name popped up out of his press conference last 5 ® on PBS's "Washington Week in week when Diane Derby asked 5 | Review." Saturday he made The him if he had any travel plans 1 j Boston Globe and Monday he in the next two weeks. Dean j P appeared in USA Today and knew where he was going the § J Newsweek It's only the beginning. next day. And he knew what he 8 USA Today described Dean was going to tell Al Gore. He § 1 as "a blunt, penny-loafered just didn't want the people of 1 | internist with one of the shortVermont to know. j I est haircuts ever spotted on a * Democrat and some of the oldSpeaking of travel plans, just | 8 est suits ever worn by a possible how frequent a flyer has our | aspirant for higher office." governor been this year? Under 1 | Ho-Ho described himself for the auspices of the Democratic § I USA Today as a "passionate cenGovernors' Association, Dean's j t r i s t . " That's a moderate who's been to Michigan (two days), g ^ great in the sack. Just kidding. California (seven days), Iowa ® | By the way, the Egg O n Face (three days), Washington, D C I | Award of the year goes to (six days), Connecticut (one j I Burlington Free Press columnist day), New Hampshire (five g Sam Hemingway. Sam the days), Florida (six days), New i ® Sham's Friday column downYork (one day), New Jersey | playing Ho-Ho's presidential (two days), Arizona, (one day), 1 | desires couldn't have come at a Georgia (one day), South g Iworse time...for Sam. Oops! Carolina (two days), Kentucky j Gotta get out more, Sam. (one day), North Carolina (one jf i Watching Ho-Ho vainly tryday), Illinois (two days), 1 S ing to downplay the Wall Street Journal mention Alabama (one day), Puerto Rico (one day), I was a treat. He gave it the ol' one-two-three. Massachusetts (two days), Indiana (one day), j I One, I never characterize conversations with the and Idaho (one day), so far this year. Some days | president or the vice-president. Two, the Wall he hit more than one state. The schedule pro- J B Street Journal report is totally inaccurate. Three, vided by the Fifth Floor totals 45 days out-ofi | I've got to get serious about the issues facing state on DGA (and presidential?) business. Add § | Vermont, like Act 60 and DWI. to that 32 more days out-of-state on Vermont g | But everybody knows that, however he business and you've got a guy who's seen the g phrased it, Dean gave AI Gore the heads up on USA in his Chevrolet. Hey, it's a big country ^ i his own political future last Wednesday afterout there. 1 1 noon at the White House. Hey, no hard feelMr. Ad Libber — You may recall last week's | ings, Al, but your numbers aren't looking too report on how W G O P — sorry — WCAX | good lately, are they? news anchor Marselis Parsons neglected to How gentlemanly of Dr. Dean to let the credit Congressman Bernie Sanders as the ® § front-runner for the Democratic nomination hear source of a story on the head of the FCC possi- 1 | it right from the horse's mouth. Mano a mano. bly postponing the implementation of new fed- | Ho- Ho had no idea how quickly political gossip eral rules relating to the siting of communica- g I spreads in Washington. He had no idea that two tions towers. Shortly after Seven Days hit the days later he was going to receive a coast-to-coast street, Mr. Parsons picked up the phone and launching of his presidential candidacy on the reamed out yours truly's answering machine. | 1 front page of The Wall Street Journal, which is, "You are wrong again, and I guess I'm tired g | after all, the perfect place for a Wall Street kid to of talking to you," said an irritated Marselis. j | break into presidential politics. Why, just a few "But you gotta check your facts. Okay? We did, months ago Ho-Ho and his dad rang the closing in fact, credit Bernie Sanders on the discussion I i bell at the New York Stock Exchange with the FCC chairman and I have the tape to § Can a governor of a small state be taken prove it. It didn't make it into the Web site by j | seriously as a contender for the White House? an error, but it did make it on the air, and | Of course. Just ask Jimmy Carter or Bill you're talking about WCAX-TV. You're not Clinton. But there is one little problem. One talking about the Web site. You are wrong," he I i little idiosyncrasy special to Vermont's version said, with his voice rising. "I want a correction | 1 of democracy. One itsy-bitsy hurdle that — god and I don't see why I waste my time talking to g | forbid — could not only blow up the tracks but you when you keep getting things wrong. It's . | also blow up Dean's presidential train — the tiresome, Peter!" Click! two-year term. If it wasn't for the curse of the We went to the videotape of that newscast 1 8 two-year term, Howard Dean wouldn't have to and, following Parsons' reading of the news 1 sweat his travel plans. transcript that neglected to mention Ol' | Howard Dean won't be president if he loses Bernardo, he ad libbed the following I the November 1998 election. Even if he wins "Vermont's congressional delegation — Leahy, » J with a 5-point margin he'll be hobbled. No big Jeffords and Sanders — are trying to get the S deal, you say. Nobody's ever come close to beatrules overturned. State officials are considering | | ing him, you say. Landslide Dean can't be legal action to block the rules. But apparently g | touched, you say. But he's never been tested. there's an indication from the FCC to Mr. | His support is a mile wide and an inch deep. Sanders that there may be a postponement." 1 „ In politics as in life, things change, "Apparently"? i Sherburne businessman Bernie Rome looks like Thanks for calling. Let the record stand cor- g she's rected and in the future consider making aiming for Ho-Ho. But Rome's locked into wcax.com accurate, will ya? ® | his anti-Act 60 crusade, and that dog won't

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not saying "Wow!"). "I'm just worried about Ma-a-ahm/ ahm herself, Bobbi McCaughey, is too busy weeping wftli ; shock, to grasp the reality of her s l t r n d ^ ^ W ^ ' %

"I know that it's extraordinary or whatever to hav babies and go this far," she confides, "but it's someth w did. They were my children a n d J w a n t e d them.? Bobbi v had one daughter, Mikayla (one of the phonetic Mikaylas) and now she's got — well, we can't take it for graiiSd that Bobbi McCaughey can count. She's a little confiised, looking for ways to tell Kenneth from Kelsey, Alexis from Brandon, Natalie ifrom Nathaniel and Joel. - - . j;;J - - ' ^ * : * /; , "A couple of them have a little different hair color," says Bobbi tentatively. "Kelsey, of course, is the smallest. She is going to have long fingers. But there is something about their feet — all their feet look the same to me." Or whatever. Kenny adds for the record that "this is one of the most blessed events that I have ever encountered," leaving us to wonder what other events of a similar nature he's met

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Des Moines where the seven McCaugheys took their bow — appropriately enough, it's called the Blank Childrens' Hospital — assures In a nation WlthOUT a us that the babies "were all born with their eyes open," but somehow I doubt it. McCaughey is pronounced health-care system, where "McCoy," and these are the real ones, all right. These ones are a doozy. "I never thought they would ^ ^ q| m m an, come off the ventilators so last, said Bobbi the other day, while Kenny held her hand. "I can't wait till I can . hold all of them." already starving, the

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"If we have the arms," said Kenny, grinning at his joke. Well, they don't. They don't have McCaugheys ought to be the arms, the money or the brains to raise seven new children at a swoop. I've got nothing against Iowa farmh jng j y , com.fe(j ers, and I don't expect anything from Christian fundamentalists except pious, self-righteous blather. What , , fLamo Sname appalls me about I'Affaire McCaughey "ea€,S is not only the flagrant misuse of medical technology that brought it about, but the air of celebration that's attended the births. In a nation without a health-care system, where millions of children are already starving, the McCaugheys ought to be hanging their corn-fed heads in shame, and so should the doctors, the nurses, the reporters and the "jes'-folks" neighbors who've stayed up all night in Carlisle baking pies. Instead, we've got praise being heaped on the two "fertility specialists'' who kept Bobbi McCaughey company whUe she lay trussed like a turkey from We've got the usual stories _ , entific wizardry on the eve of the millennium and the obligatory "bio-ethicists" hemming and hawing about what it all means, in 20 seconds or less. What it means, of course, is a million-dollar hospital bill, glory for the doctors and a line of "Ma-a-ahm" wannabes stretching three miles around the block. You'd think there weren't enough babies crawling around the country already. On "Politically Incorrect" the other night, Bill Maher quipped that the onlv remarkable thin? about the McCaughey septuplets "is Continued on page 31

december

10 ,

1997

John

Dillon

Ke bears are on the move at the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. in Shelburne — boxes of them marching down the production line in a fantastic display of costumes and accoutrements. Here's the Channukah Classic bear, resplendent in his blue velvet robe, yarmulke and goldthreaded vest. Grandmother Bear shuffles by in a flowered pinafore, followed by a formal bride and groom bear pair. A far more relaxed ursine creature follows: It's the "Shredder Bear," dude, ready for winter in a red nylon pullover, oval wraparound shades and brandishing his own flaming "bear paw" snowboard.

Upstairs, designers in a music-filled "imaginarium" turn out new protobears like the "Safari" model with giraffe-like horns, or the "Devil Bear" carrying gourmet chocolates. In the sales department, "bear counselors" sit at telephones, ready to take orders for "BearGrams" — personalized plush greetings dispatched for special events, like Valentine's Day or Mothers' Day. Everywhere in this huge, open-air toy factory* fantasy and playfulness are celebrated. Over 130,000 visitors a year tour the place, about as many who visit the nearby Shelburne Museum. Many stop to make their own bears, stuffing them from a filling machine that blows in foam as well as

meted from a brief high of $19 in late 1993 to around $1.25. The bears haven't borne many profits in recent years. While barely breaking even in 1996, Vermont Teddy Bear Co. closed the fiscal year in June with a $1.97 million loss. The first quarter ending in September — a traditionally slow sales period — saw another $399,000 deficit.

ed as a domestic alternative to foreign imports. Soon the company will be home to the great global bear, whose components and accessories are produced overseas and assembled in Vermont. The company will also buy pre-made bears from abroad to resell in the wholesale and corporate gift markets, executives said. "By actually manufacturing

MARKET? A combination of mistakes and market forces have knocked the stuffing out of Vermont Teddy Bear Co. And as the business moved from an explosive growth mode to confronting lagging revenues, top management has changed and

a different line of Vermont teddy bears offshore, we can I J . ; r at t ' a price : point • have a product that can now enable us to serve this market," said Elisabeth v Robert, the firm's new president. Yet for years the American-

Reality has rained on the

parade. Can the once cuddly

company hold onto its stuffing?

imaginary ingredients labeled "giggles," "magic," "hope," "love" and "wishes." If whimsy and wishes were bankable commodities, the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. would be booming. But it isn't. Vermont Teddy Bear Co. once set an amazing record of growth: quintupling revenues in 1990, tripling them in 1991, and doubling again in 1992. In 1993, the year the company sold its stock to the public, Dun & Bradstreet — a business information company — gave the firm its "Best of America" award, a prize bestowed on emerging companies that show "successful management of rapid growth and innovation."

directors have cut costs. Gone is President Patrick Burns, a direct-sales marketing expert whose expensive catalog project flopped. The company also no longer owns its factory building, a beautiful but pricey structure that tied up much of the firm's capital. The 62,000square-foot building — designed by Burlington architects Truex DeGroot and Cullins to give the feel of the storybook Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory — was unloaded this summer for $5.9 million in order to pay off a bank loan and provide additional funds. The firm is renting the factory back under a 20-year lease.

Today, the company seems like a candidate for one of its own "get well soon" BearGrams. Sales have shrunk and red ink covers the balance sheet. Its stock price has plum-

Gone too is a basic ideal on which the business was founded. Vermont Teddy Bear Co. long sold itself as "the home of the great American teddy bear" — an all-USA product promot-

dec ember

10;

1 9 9 7-

from a pushcart on Burlington's Church Street Marketplace, vowed his company would help resurrect the entire domestic stuffed-toy industry. "The U.S. stuffed animal industry is zero," Sortino said. "When I started out I really wanted to save the American teddy bear business, because it was named after Teddy Roosevelt. And it bothered me

made ideal was the bear company's essential corporate creed, repeated in company folklore and press releases. For a time last year the company even adopted a new name — "The Great American Teddy Bear Co." — although the name was later dropped it was said to confuse radio advertising listeners.

that during the Reagan years we lost so many manufacturing • » » jobs.' Now tourists by the thou- « sands line up at the Shelburne plant to watch Vermonters manufacturing bears. The workers, mainly women, assemble stacks of furry components at industrial sewing machines, while in the filling room a device first used during World War II to pump air into life boats has been modified to stuff the toys with fiberfill. Tour guides recount teddy bear history while in a small bear museum visitors can view Sortino's first plush creation. The factory is designed for worker comfort — the hardwood floor is cushioned underneath and the overhead lighting is full-spectrum.

But U.S. manufacturing proved to be costly. Vermont Teddy Bears, although imaginative and well-made, aren't cheap: The 15-inch-tall Shredder Bear costs $95. A bear decked out in your favorite National Football League uniform — with helmet — will set you back $99, plus tax. The company wants to offer bears at different price ranges, but it costs almost as much to make a small, 10-inch bear in Vermont as a standard 15-inch bear, said Spencer Putnam, the company's vice president. "Once you get below about 15 inches or maybe 13 inches, any further reduction in size has very little savings in materials and no savings at all in labor," he said. Labor issues have also plagued the company. In 1994, the U.S. Department of Labor found that the firm had underpaid 103 employees and ordered it to compensate workers for $61,089 in overtime pay and $1260 in minimum wages. Putnam at the time attributed the problem to confusion about federal labor law. A compactrfeearded man who hands out cards identifying himself as the official "bear historian," Putnam has been with the company since 1987, through the glory days and the hard times. He said the firm will continue to employ bear- % raakets at its. Shelburnfe factory./to serve the Sear-Gram market, although the number of workers has sunk from about 210 a ^ few years ago to roughly 170 today as business has slowed. "So we'll continue to be the Vermont Teddy Bear Co. and manufacture the bears here, but some of our own designs in different sizes will be made elsewhere," he said. Some of the bear clothing, including the pinafores worn by Grandmother Bear, now come from Columbia. Vermont-made bear accessories were expensive, Putnam noted. "Manufacturing the outfits is almost as costljras manufacturing bears. It can easily add 60 Continued

on page 11

• Bears made in Vermont: roughly 200,000 annually. • Visitors to the bear factory: 130,000 a year. • Workforce: 170.

omestic production was the inspiration for the firm's start-up back in 1983. Founder John Sortino said he was rocking his infant son to sleep one night when he noticed that all his stuffed animals came from Asia or Europe. He decided to make his boy a teddy bear, an American creation inspired by President Teddy Roosevelt's 1902 rescue of a bear cub while hunting in Louisiana. Sortino, who started by selling the bears

J O I N ' DAYS

• Varieties of bears sold: approximately 100, from ballerina to rastafarians bears. • Biggest bear: a six-footer, sold primarily to child care centers and nurseries. Price: $799. • Littlest bear: 11 inches. The Christmas elf model costs $44. • Biggest Bear-Gram market: New York City. • Primary reason for Bear Gram purchase: Valentine's Day, birthdays, new births, get-well greetings, Christmas. • Stock price per share in 1997: high, $2.88; low, $1 • Stores: North Conway, New Hampshire, Shelburne, Vermont, Freeport, Maine, New York City. • Net revenues, fiscal 1997: $16,489,482; fiscal 1996: $17,039,618 • Net loss, fiscal 1997: $1.9 million; net profit fiscal 1996: $151,953

BY PAMELA

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be no rock," opines Chris Nolin, trumpeter and vocalist for SandOze and music major at St. Michael's College. The remark comes in a press release about Nolin's impressive leap from emocore to classical. The senior from Newport, apparently a good Catholic boy, has composed the music for a full mass, called Miss Brevis in D Major, including soli, chorus, flute and organ. He'll direct the affair, from Kyrie to Agnus Dei, this Friday at the SMC Chapel — proceeds benefit the Food Shelf. Sure to be an altared state. What I want to know is, who's Miss Brevis?

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WHERE THERE'S SMOKE...

there's business. Or

so say the proprietors of the few non-smoking bars in Burlington. The latest to note that providing a nice, clean-air atmosphere seems to keep them away in droves is Joe Sturtz, owner of Breakers. The Williston Road entertainment center offers

mucho tables, a tank full of "pool sharks," an award-winning design (in the world of billiard parlors) and, more recently, live music and DJ nights. And like the owner of Leunig's, he watches with frustration as neighboring bars fill up with smoking patrons. While his recent faxed plea leans heavily on a family-values argument, Sturtz does make a good point: The public wanted smoke-free environments. Why don't they appreciate them now? Financially troubled, Breakers will change its policy, Sturtz says, if things don't turn around by February 1.

SINGLE TRACKS

Richmond folksinger Rik Palieri notes that this Thursday, December 11, is a National Day of Conscience against sweatshop labor. As reported on these pages recently, Palieri's song, "Santa's Elves," was adopted by the national Labor Committee as the theme song of the event, and is making airwaves nationwide. • Speaking of airtime, if you plan to be within range of WJUL 91.5 FM in Lowell, Mass., this Friday, stay tuned to a six-hour live showcase of regional industrialstrength talent. "High Volt #4" includes Burlington's Chainsaws and Children and Leif Hunneman — the latter in a noise ensemble called Catastrophy Orchestra. Watch out. • Imagine three tons of food, 2500 skiers and boarders, and the blues. That was Bloozotomy giving it up for the Vermont FoodBank Day at Stowe Resort, and a whole lotta eatin'. • It's for real: The Burlington Music Conference had its first board meeting last week, and newly anointed director Tom Baggott has officially announced the conference (July 29-

Continued on page 10...

Got something to tell Rhythm & News? Call Pamela at (802) 864.5684. Or mail your tip to P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402, or e-mail to sevenday@together.net.

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WEDNESDAY

LAR DUGGAN & JENNI JOHNSON (jazz), Leunig's, 8:30 p.m. NC. MARK GALBO (acoustic boogie), Coyotes, 8 p.m. NC. FEAST OF FOOL W/CHIN HO!, SANDRA WRIGHT, VIPERHOUSE (local C D release party), Magic Hat, 9 p.m. $5. GORDON STONE TRIO, JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (bluegrass-jazz, jazz), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $2/4. ROBERT BRADLEY'S BLACKWATER SURPRISE, TALA (rock-funk), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5. BLOOZOTOMY (blues-rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 7 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. N C .

YO B V n w : IH ' W , C H AHD COM* OM D o ^ ^ ctT have many, many holiday / f , e n 0 Fleece, hats, c o r ^ ^ t e ^ * * * **rA, A, -uuroy shirts *j> sas.oo OF MERCHANDIZE A HN D •A

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THURSDAY

BIG JOE BURRELL & FRIENDS (blues-jazz), Halvorson's, 8 p.m. $2. ELLEN POWELL & JERRY LAVENE (jazz) Leunig's, 8:30 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/MARK GALBO, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. CHEESE FACTORY (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. JUSAGROOVE (disco), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $4. THE ZEN TRIXTERS (alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $5. RED BEANS & RICE (blues), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. NC. D. JARVIS (orig. acoustic), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. GREEN STREET QUARTET (jazz), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. DANCE PARTY (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. BAKER, LEAVITT, DELBACK (rock), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. NC. JETHRO MONEY (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $2. OPEN MIKE,

SEVEN.: D A Y S

Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. N C . JIM FURLING (DJ), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 9 p.m. N C .

FRIDAY

PICTURE THIS (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. N C . PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. N C , followed by DJ NIGHT, 9 p.m. N C . BOOTLESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. N C . FRANK WALLACE, SCOTT MCALLISTER & MEREDITH COOPER, STEPHEN NYSTRUP (classical guitarists; C D release party), Contois Auditorium, 8 p.m. $10/6. BROOKE CHABOT & MARK GALBO (contemporary acoustic), Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. N C . JAMES HARVEY & FRIENDS (jazz), Leunig's, 9:30 p.m. N C . THE SISTERS LEMAY (drag), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. CAHDIRIA, HON COMPOS MENTIS, HUMANS BEING, LAST ONES STANDING (hardcore), Club Toast, 8 p.m. $7. SETH YACOVONE (blues) Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $4. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, STEPH PAPPAS, NORTH END RHYTHM KINGS (blues-rock; Best of Green Mountain Blues C D release party), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N C . ORGANIC GROOVE FARMERS (rock), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. N C . RUSS&CO. (rock), J.P.'s, 9:30 p.m. N C . KIP MEAKER TRIO (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. N C . TRIAL BY FIRE (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. N C . COMEDY ZONE (standup), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Franny O's, 9:30 p.m. N C . DANCE PARTY (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 9 p.m. N C . FOX (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. N C . HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 8:30 p.m. N C . TANTRUM, RONDINI (rock, escape artist),

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Blanchard), Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. JOHNNY DEVIL (rock), Swany's, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. JIMMY T & THE COBRAS (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3. RUSS FLANIGAN (rock), Charlie-os, Montpelier, 9 p.m. NC.

Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. DANCIN'DEAN (country dance & instruction), Cobbweb, Milton, 7:30 p.m. $5. DIAMOND JIM JAZZ BAND, Diamond'Jims Grille, St. Albans, 8 p.m. N C . JIMMY I & THE COBRAS (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $3. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Gallaghers, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3/5. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $3. CURRENTLY NAMELESS (groove rock), Charlieo's, Montpelier, 10 p.m. N C . JOHNNY DEVIL (rock), Swany's, Vergennes, 9 p.m. N C .

BOORESS & UNHORSED (Irish), Last Chance, 7:30 p.m. N C . MONKEYS WITH CAR KEYS (rock duo), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. N C . DOUBLE VISION (contemporary acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus Gallery, 8 p.m. $6. BLUES FOR BREAKFAST, B100Z0T0MY (blues; Best of the Green Mountain Blues 2 C D release party), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. MIKE ABBOTT (rock; C D release party), Coyotes, 9:30 p.m. N C . LITTLE MARTIN (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Finnigan's Pub, 5:30 p.m. N C . DJ NIGHT, Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. GROOVE COLLECTIVE, FUNKS G, Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $12. RETRONOME (DJ Craig Mitchell), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. N C . MAGIC PEBBLE (groove rock), Manhattan Pizza, 10 p.m. N C . DAVE KELLER BLUES BAND, Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. N C . TRIAL BY FIRE (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. N C . COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. KARAOKE, Franny O's, 9:30 p.m. NC. FOX (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. BOB GESSER (jazz guitar), Tuckaway's, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. YANKEE POT ROAST (rock), Breakers, 9:30 p.m. $1. TANTRUM (rock), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. $3. ONE NIGHT STAND (jazz), Greatful Bread Deli, Essex, noon. Donations. PICTURE THIS (jazz), The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. N C . DANCE PARTY (DJ Norm All clubs in Burlington

Advance Music Centre

SUNDAY

ELLEN POWftL & JERRY LAVENE (jazz brunch), Windjammer, 11 a.m. NC. THE SISTERS LEMAY (drag), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. $5. CHAD (pop-rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. N C . TNT (karaoke & DJ), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 8 p.m. N C . N C . DERRICK SEMLER (acoustic blues), LaBrioche Cafe, Montpelier, 11 a.m. NC. PAUL LOLAX (acoustic guitar), Main Street Bar & Grill, Montpelier, 11 a.m. NC.

SATURDAY

MONDAY

GOOD QUESTION (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. TWICE MASSIVE: BIG J, LUIS, MATTHEW SMITH, CHANCELLOR HULI (DJs; benefit for WRUV), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $3. TECHNO NIGHT (DJs), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. ALLEY CAT JAM W/BLUEFOX (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. COFFEEHOUSE (acoustic), Horn of the Moon, Montpelier, 8 p.m. NC.

TUESDAY

OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. PAUL ASBELL & CLYDE STATS (jazz, blues), Leunigs, 8:30 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. YANKEE POT ROAST (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK: HITS OF THE'80S (DJ), Club Toast, 10 p.m. No cover/$5 under 21. CRAIG MITCHELL & LITTLE MARTIN (acid/soul DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. SWING NIGHT (instruction/dance/DJ), Cheers, 7 p.m. NC. unless otherwise

NC = No cover. Also look for "Sound Advice" at

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Anima is no, composed of virgins in ecstatic a . f-l-.v, ,i . . fervor; they are grown, non-cloistered women living in rv^A late-20th-century Vermont. Directed by Elizabeth Thompson, the all-women choir devoted to medieval music,has,releaseditssec* -< ond CD featuring the C work of Hiidegard von <i n 3 m Bingen, The 12th-century abbess and mystic — whose fecund musical gifts appeared in visions — has Circle,, never been more popular; wisdom since Gregorian chant was discovered anew several 1 IimiiGAR!} years back, Anima has m S-BINGEN responded with the distaff version, and it's a wonder they have not, in turn. been "discovered" by a larger audience. Circle ofWtsdom offers a dozen more selections of Hiidegard s prolific output* All glorify God in some way, but as the songs are in Latin— their titles resemble the names of bacte- " even a dedicated atheist or follower of another na

?Ua" have spare accompaniment from Kobert Mealy on vieite * f , « ... . a n d, ,

harp (heavenly at the dose of O kadissima apos-

tolorum") or Na'ama Lion on flute. To the untrained ear these songs sound fairly similar: slow, stately, minor-key and reverent. 1 He recording —— made at the studios of Vermont Public Radio and produced/mastered by Chuck Eiier — give the women's voices a rich, crystalline clarity, and duplicate a cathedral-like reverberation. Each of the soloists — Kimberly Taylor, Betsy Brigham, Susan Comen and Gail Ireland soar confidently, as if, indeed, filled with the grace of divine inspiration. Animas music is the aural equivalent of a beautiful stained-glass window streaming with light, an ageless joy that transcends secular intention. Circle of , Wisdom, culled from Hiidegard s Symphony of the Harmony of Celestial Revelations, is still soul music, eight-and-a-half centuries later. Anima performs at St. Augustine's Church in Montpelier December 13, and St. Paul's Cathedral in Burlington December 14.

Continued on page 10

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(self-released, CD) — There's something compelling about Mike Abbott, a Mainiac who used to live in Burlington, and who recorded these dotkn original songs with Montpelier's Mark Galbo. With a boy-next-door,all-American name and a not-so-special voice with a limited, Dylanesque range, Abbott still exudes the unmistakeabie magic of a truly gifted songwriter. Galbos electric guitar dances almost independently of Abbot aeons ti c smimming w d earnest, deadpan vocals, lending some : of the songs — notably "What;You Feel" a vaguely disjointed quality. Different styles keep things interesting: "Late to Die" is a lonesome-road bluesy thing; "Mankind* is an uptempo hillbillyish jumper offset by Abbott's monotone verges; "Weirdo" has alt-folk overtones with a swampy guitar; "My Way to You' is a melodic pop ballad; "Annie" is folkier. And so it continues; painfullyfconestand acutely observant lyrics set Abbott apart from the legion of m^lpcre musical mavericks, and gains much from Galbos perfect multi-instrumental accompaniment. Something tells me well be hearing more from this lad, and I, for one, am looking forward to it. Starting with his Burlington CD debut at Coyote's this Saturday.

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<se]f-releas<£, CD) — Why "Mr. Charlie" Frazier/WIZN didn't opt to save one of these two discs,forvolume three is beyond me; The Best ofthe Green Mountain Bluesr„ Vol 2 is overwhelming. Who knew there was this much blues talent lurking in Vermont? 1 guess Frazier did. Unfortunately, the quanfttt^hefe— 38 cuts, With o«ly one duplicationv(two if you count Zoot Wilson and The . 'N-Zdnes as thesame) — makes it damn difficult to review individually in this space. It's a cop-out, -but true: There isn't a single lame track here. Because the blues is a . genre ruled by men, the natural stand-outs on the compilation are the women: Sandra Wright, Christine Atfler, Laura Simon, Steph Pappas, Julie Tiller, Linda Bassick, Patty Lynch and Jenni Johnson, but that's not to say a lot there's not a lot of swell guys on guitar, bass, dru 5, drums, harmonica, keys and brass. From Mark Galbos acoustic Delta blues — recorded in his living room — to the honkin' Chicago-style solos of Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band), bluegrass-inflected strumming of Smokin Grass or Texas-twister version of, well, Texas Twister, Best o/is one big, sexy, full-throttle hunka burnin love — of the blues. Celebrate its release this Friday and Saturday at Nectar's; PS. Proceeds from sale of the CD go to Camp Ta-K&m-Ta, for children with cancer.

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Currendy Nameless still is, and apparently couldn't come up with a name for its second recording, either. The four-song CD provides just over 17 minutes of groove-rock in tightly organized but, alas, unremarkable fashion. The first cur, "TheWombat Stomp," has a slightly depressed sound quality, a problem resolved in the other three. The provocatively named "Sex in Molasses" is short and sweet, more languorous in tempo, and shows off the harmonica work and sensual vocals of Sean Daley. "Pin the Needle" picks up both tempo and overall energy, using the multiple string-power of Josh Keller, Dave Simpson and John Treybal to good effect. "J.C.'s Weather" gets all noodly and white-goyiunky — struck by drummer Daemmon Hughes —while Daley's vocals really begin to loosen up. Currently Nameless ends prematurely, just as the fellas are getting into the groove that generates heat at their live shows. It's a decent but underwhelming sampler of their thang — you'll get a better idea in person, this Friday at Charlie-os in Montpelier. (7) Want t o g e t r e v i e w e d i n SEVEN DAYS? Send y o u r CD o r t a p e (no demos. please), i n f o j n d p h o t o t o Sound A d v i c e , SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , B u r l i n g t o n , VT 05402.

rhythm & news

Continued from page 8 August 2), the organization, the phenomenon. Keep posted for updates as merrily we roll along. • Wolcott wonder Seth Yacovone will talk the talk on ETV's "Points North" Wednesday, December 17 (7:30 p.m.). Maybe he'll mention that his recent release, "Bobfred's Bathtub Minstrel," came in at #18 on CB Roy's blues show on W N E C (College of New England). That

bluesboy gets around. • If you didn't grab one yet, find yerself a handsome new four-page catalog from Big Heavy World, featuring a heap of local compilations and others, including Zola Turn's

Cousin Battie, Feast of Fools from Magic Hat and Hop: An Assortment of Burlington's Oddities from the Underground. Stocking stuffers galore. (7)

d e c e m b e r

1 0 .

1 9 9 7

? Continued from page 7

SEVEN DAYS

to 80 percent to the price of the product. Sortino, who left the company in 1995, is upset by the or the company's current condition, he wont say.The terms of his severance agreement — which paid him $100,000 in 1995, $120,000 i f % 9 6 and $150,000 this year, plus $100,000 bonus and the ness of a $193,000 company — require him to mouth shut about his former compa|y, seem to ari) get expensive, President Robert told shareholders in a recent letter. "The reality is that plush mai"rials from offshore are of

MM^^MI^H

in ^People

Burlington's only weekly newspaper with audited circulation. Is Pleased To Welcome Chef Adrian "Ty' FormelTo Its Burlington Restaurant. Originally from Albany, NY, Ty has served as Executive Chef at Nicole's Bistro at L'Auberge and The Beverwyck, both in Albany, and most recently ran the kitchen at Vincents on Camelback in Phoenix, AZ. * i

The subject of articles in Food Arts, Gourmet, Food and Wine magazines, and several television appearances,Ty brings a flair for Creole, Caribbean and Southwestern cooking to The Daily Planet. *

Come check out the new winter menu in mid-December.

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A Mug in the Morning is the way most people like to start their day At Bennington Potters North you'll find a great collection of mugs, cups and saucers, and even oversized late cups. They come in a variety of styles and colors, and are reasonably priced, but hurry in today for the best selection!

tomers as we previously thought, particularly when it results in higher prices/ Or, as former President Patrick Burns observed in an interview: "People are as patriotic as their pocketbook will allow them to be...Premium-priced products have a very narrow and very shallow niche." The seemingly obvious observation that $99 is a lot of money for a stuffed animal apparently sunk in when the firm was negotiating with the QVC homeshopping network to carry its products. "We suffered in our j^Wonship with QVC," said Robert, who took over as president in October. "We fought But the pri< And we'd ei So the retui the margins Therefore v abandon 01 QVC " The nev made bears

The Joneses bought a convertible. I kept my sedan. The Joneses went to Europe. I went to the office. The Joneses got a big screen TV. I got a radio. The Joneses joined the country club. I joined the Y. The Joneses had chicken for dinner. I had Rib Eye Roast I figure, why keep up with the Joneses when you can surpass them?

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t's a week before the Pops concert at the Flynn and Tammy Fletcher is home in Eden, laid up with an injured back and nursing a cold. "Don't say that," she begs, futilely. "I don't want anyone to think I'm not going to make the show." Fat chance. Tammy Fletcher, a thirtysomething native Vermonter and reigning diva, would rather die than miss this gig: the Holiday Pops concert with the Vermont Symphony Orchestra and Chorus. She is, in a word, thrilled — make that two words: thrilled and honored. "I've never even seen the VSO," she admits. "My first time seeing the orchestra, I'll be performing in it." As a chanteuse who likes to blur the genres — with her band The Disciples she sings jazz, gospel, blues, rock, a combination she calls "alternative soul" — Fletcher is the perfect choice of soloist for the Pops. Aside from her well-attended and rousing live shows — including a knock-out victory at the Apollo Theatre in

Harlem — recent evidence includes her poignant a cappella rendition of "Silent Night" on Feast of Fools, a holiday compilation C D from Magic Hat Brewing Company. "She was chosen because we wanted to do something with spirituals," says VSO maestra Kate

nice touch." The VSO's annual holiday concert follows in the tradition established by Boston Pops conductor Arthur Fiedler, explains Tamarkin — in this case a mixture of serious and light, secular and non-secular seasonal music. The selection this weekend includes traditional carols and classical pieces, an arrangement of spirituals by choral director Robert DeCormier, a Hannukah overture, an audience sing»along and the most popular Christmas song of all time, "White Christmas." "There's something in it for everyone," Tamarkin assures. Fletcher will perform

Holiday

Pops,

Symphony with Flynn

Tammy

Tamarkin. "She's a very talented and versatile artist — we knew that she had a following and would up the draw, and that musically she would add a

Fletcher.

Theatre,

Burlington, 12

Vermont

Orchestra

& 13,

December

8:30

p.m.

two songs with the chorus: "What Month Was My Jesus Born In?" and "Go Tell It O n the Mountain." She'll go it alone, a cappella, on the traditional tune "Sweet Little Jesus Boy." After just a couple of

A JOYFUL NOISE

rehearsals together, Fletcher is smitten. "I've enjoyed playing with this choir more than I've done anything," she enthuses.

"My caroling group relied on me heavily." - Tammy Fletcher "I've had shining moments with everything I've done, but perhaps because it's new I like it so much. I listen to what these words are really saying and I can't stop the tears." But one thing's for sure: Fletcher won't let a little crying get in the way of a powerful performance — and a good time. "The VSO's a beautiful musical experience," she says. "Everyone's so wonderful — but I'm heartbroken about Kate leaving." Last week the VSO announced that Tamarkin is stepping down at the end of next season after seven years on the podium. And of course, she'll be onstage as the Wicked Witch next spring in Lyric Theatre's The Wizard of Oz. "I'm practicing cackling," she says, "and trying to get over my terrible fear of heights." Meanwhile, she's gearing up for the popular holiday concert. Though Fletcher's never seen her conduct, it won't be her first encounter with Kate Tamarkin. "I met Kate years

ago when I was coming back from New Orleans," Fletcher recalls. "I took a bump for a free ticket, and she was delayed, so we ended up on the same flight going to Vermont. I saw all her music and asked if she was a musician. She says, 'Well, I'm a conductor.' I was so overwhelmed...The next time I heard her voice was on the phone asking me to perform with them." Fletcher is one of those people who knows all the words to songs like "Silent Night," "Joy to the World" and "Away in a Manger." She was a caroler. Though her family — she's the seventh of seven children — didn't "do Christmas songs," she has vivid memories of tromping around town on frosty evenings with friends, singing for the sheer pleasure of it, and maybe a reward of hot chocolate and cookies. "My caroling group relied on me heavily," she says with her husky laugh. To this day she loves the music for its own sake, never mind religious associations. "If we focus on the fact that it's about a power that's greater than ourselves," she says, "something finer, a little holy, it's something that makes us a little gentler and kinder." At the very least, Tamarkin adds, "It sort of kicks everyone into the holiday spirit." ®

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The driving spirit behind all these endeavors is Lazarowski's fascination for fun inned to the wall and function; his \ interest in objects that are both inherLazarowski's m ently educational and aesthetiCharlotte home is a cally edifying. miniature replica of Leonardo da Vinci's flying machine. Lazarowski's 10-year-old son, Izak, constructed it with his father's help as an outgrowth of a school report. But the model is an apt icon for Lazarowski a man whose multiple talents classify him as a modern day Davinci. Most days, you can find Lazarowski at Giroux Sign and Screen Printing, the Burlington business he bought in 1993. This career represents the current incarnation of a man who keeps reinventing himself In the 30-some years since he graduated from the Rhode Island School of Design, Lazarowski has, among other things, constructed kaleidoscopes for Whoopi Goldberg and Michael Jackson, built solid gold and silverflutes,and designed architectural building PHOTO: MATTHEW TH0RSEN blocks for the Smithsonian.

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Lazarowski's first job, in 1966, was designing educational materials. One of his earliest projects was a tooth exhibit for the Boston Children's Museum. His display turned kids into dental detec-

In later years, Lazarowski reflects, building blocks "kept coming up." But first he turned to teaching. In 1970, after receiving a masters in education from Antioch College, he came to Vermont as a consultant with the federally funded "Action Centers" program. In those days, Lazarowski observes, "teachers' risk-taking skills had to be nurtured." His job, he says, was to "give them permission to unbolt the rows of desks from the floor." He helped them use handson activities, teaching mental disciplines like math through tactile skills such as carpentry and weaving. When his funding shifted to the Vermont Arts Council, Lazarowski moved with it, and by 1974, at age 30,

tives, discovering the differences between an herbivore's ivories and those of a carnivore. Next, he worked for the Educational Development Corporation, designing interlocking building blocks used to assess skills in pre-verbal children.

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he'd risen to the rank of Program Director. "About 50 percent of the job involved writing," he recalls. "Unfortunately, I couldn't spell. It was a classic example of the Peter Principle." After four years of paperpushing, Lazarowski says, he "abandoned ship" and headed the Penland School of Crafts in North Carolina. He wanted to study goldsmithing, a craft that appealed to him in part because of its reliance on the artist's analytic abilities. "With metalworking," he explains, "the artist plans a project out on paper before manipulating the material. A medium like clay is more one-^o-one. You push your finger into the material, and the mark is there. My problem-solving skills were slower." Lazarowski proved wellsuited for metalwork, but not for the commercial aspects of jewelry-making, the application taught at Penland. This revelation came to him, he says, on the last day of the three-month session. "I was talking with some friends about what we'd do next when the clouds opened up and a hand came down with help." The helping hand belonged to a Penland instructor who'd just read about a man who made gold flutes. Lazarowski had

played flute as a child. Twenty-four hours later, he was back in Vermont, having lunch in the Huntington home of flute-maker Jonathan

he traded sound for sight. Inspired by a Christmas gift, he turned his attention to kaleidoscopes. Lazarowski used special metals that had been designed

III

and symmetrical streaks of color cascade in every direction. The effect is mesmerizing. Lazarowski's Prism Kaleidoscopes have found their

„

• p

by NASA to reflect the sun's heat from the helmets of astronauts on the moon. Ordinary mirrors consist of a reflective metal behind a layer of glass. The glass protects the metal, but it also absorbs light, limiting the strength of the reflection. By using "first-surface" mirrors without glass, Lazarowski was able to install up to nine reflective surfaces in his kaleidoscopes. Gazing into the eyepiece at a sphere filled with colored oil, the viewer sees what looks like a three-dimensional dome. Turn the sphere

Landell. Landell offered Lazarowski an apprenticeship, and the designer-turned-educator-turned-administrator entered the next phase of his life. For nine years, Lazarowski built flutes. At a time when most flutemakers were reproducing old designs, the company he worked for, Geoghegan Flutes, developed a new instrument called the Phoenix. Unfortunately, the world wasn't ready for a redesigned flute; the Phoenix never rose. But Lazarowski did. In 1983,

way into the homes of celebrities such as Goldberg, Jackson, Stephen King and Ron Howard. The Smithsonian and the Museum of Modern Art have exhibited them. They've been presented as trophies for Nickelodeon's "Children's Choice" Award, and for the Smithsonian and Computer Worlds "Innovator's Award." Lazarowski was still riding high when the call came from Ron Bower, a friend of a friend who was making architectural building blocks in Vergennes. Was the kaleidoscope maker

interested in working at Archiblocks, Bower wondered? "I said, 'do you pay me, or do I pay you?"' Lazarowski recalls. "I'd been making kaleidoscopes for four or five years, and I'd reached the end of my attention span." Looking back on his years with Bower, Lazarowski calls them his "Camelot," the one time when his playful curiosity and the commercial world's appetite were truly reconciled. He was having the time of his life, constructing three-dimensional architectural puzzles, designing fanciful furniture, creating desk sets that looked like toy cities, and assembling bas reliefvignettes to hang on the wall. His work was picked up by the Frank Lloyd Wright Foundation and commissioned by the Smithsonian. But Camelot never lasts. In 1992, Bower sold the business and went West to build haybale houses. Not long afterwards, Lazarowski stopped in at Giroux Signs, on North Street in Burlington, to see about some blocks he was having silkscreened. The woman behind the counter looked upset, Lazarowski says. "I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was getting a divorce and needed to sell the shop." So he told her, "Okay. I'll buy Continued

on next page

d o w n t o w n Burlington • We have shopping &

Holiday Hunt Find the DBDA logo hidden somewhere in this issue and win a 100% cotton men's shirt (value $50) from Ivy Brooks.

The Three Kings by Crystal

SftcUC -/yT3 in partnership with The Body Shop and SEVEN DAYS announces the 3rd annual Holiday Card Sale.

Call 865-1019 at 10 a.m. Friday, December 12. The first caller with the right answer wins!

The five separate card designs were created by children in Very Special Arts Vermont's free programs—all of which bring the power of drama, dance, music and the visual arts to disabled, hospitalized, homeless and refugee children throughout Vermont. TlIK BODY SHOP

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events. His shop is set up to cackle a variety of tasks, from state-of-the-art computer scanning to old-fashioned silkscreening. "I don't want to be invested in any one tool too heavily" he explains, typically That would define our niche too narrowly." Past experience might suggest that, before long, signs will lose their luster for Lazarowski. But with a mortgage to main-

tain and his kids' college tuitions, as well as his own retirement looming inthe notso-distant future, he concedes, "The luxuries of moving on are harder to play out." Now, rather than searching out the next venture, Lazarowski hopes to find satisfaction in follow-through and

North Street, Each year, Lazarowski designs table activities for the Smithsonian's black-tie Innovators' Awards banquet. At this year's affair, which he attended with his son, the world's premiere computer geeks sat down to tables piled with sand. Between courses,

imagination reaches far beyond

building blocks to decorate the

sand. Lazarowski's tabletop activity provided a perfect icebreaker to a room full of geniuses more accustomed to writing code than making small talk. For a man whose life has been devoted to breaking down the divisions between work and play, the sight of so many brilliant grown-ups acting so goofy must have been an inspiring and reassuring sight. (Z)

Invest a few evenings this winter. For a better job by the next one. Computer Apps.—Multimedia

BUSINESS & MARKETING

ACCOUNTING Accounting Information Systems Auditing Auditing Cost Accounting II Cost Accounting II

M T&Th T&Th

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American History I (1492-1865)

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Biology, Intro (with Lab) Critical Thinking English Composition

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5:30-8:5 pm. 5:30-8:5 pm.

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Object-Oriented Programming Using C++ Object-Oriented Programming Using C++ Operating Systems

7:00-8:40 pm.

(runs Mar. 30-Apr. 27)

Computer Apps.—Word Processing

5:30-8:15 pm. 5:30-8:15 p.m.

SuccessNet*

5:30-8:15 pm.

5:30-8:5 pm.

6:00-8:45 pm. 5:30-8:5 pm.

5:30-8:5 p.m.

T&Th

Adv. Computer Apps.—Spreadsheets (runs Jan. 13-Mar. 10)

SuccessNet*

(runs Feb. 16-Mar. 27)

7:00-8:40 pm.

(runs Feb. 16-Mar. 23)

5:30-8:5 p.m.

Network Operating Systems

Adv. Computer Apps.—DOS 5:30-8:15 p.m.

Network Administration

SuccessNet*

(runs Mar. 11-May 1)

5:30-8:15 pm.

Computer Apps.—Windows

Programming in C/C++, Intro Programming in GC++, Intro T&Th

(runs Mar. 12-Apr. 30)

5:30-6:30 pm.

COMPUTERS

English Composition

5:30-8:15 pm.

Strategic Management

(runs ftb. 18-Mar. 25)

(runs Jan. 14-Feb. 11)

T 5:30-8:15 pm. SuccessNet* 5:30-8:15 p.m. M SuccessNet*

Senior Seminar in Contemporary Business Issues W

5:30-8:5 pm.

Computer Apps.—Spreadsheets

(runs Feb. 19-Mar. 26)

SuccessNet* SuccessNet*

Computer Apps.—Spreadsheets

5:30-8:15 pm.

Human Resource Management II Investment Research

5:30-8:15 p.m.

(runs Jan. 14-Feb. 11)

5:30-8:5 pm.

Managerial Accounting Mathematics in Accounting & finance

7:00-8:40 a.m. 5:30-7:10 pm.

financial Management I financial Management II Hospitality & Travel Industry Human Resource Management I

Computer Apps.—Navigating the Internet

5:30-8:15 p.m.

5:30-8:15 pm. 12:00-1:15 pm.

SuccessNet * T&Th SuccessNet* T&Th T&Th SuccessNet* Th

financial Accounting Intermediate Accounting II Intermediate Accounting II Managerial Accounting Managerial Accounting

(runs Jan. 5-Feb. 12)

5:30-8:15 pm. 4:00-6:45 p.m.

(runs Apr. 2-30)

5:30-8:15 pm.

SuccessNet*

Fundamentals of Mathematics

SuccessNet*

Statistics, Intro

SuccessNet*

6:00-8:45 pm.

Computer Apps.—DOS (runs Jan. 12-Feb. 9)

Ask us about our many evening degrees and certificates. Classes start Jan. 12, so call us today at 1-802-860-2777

CHAMPLAIN C

Continuing Education Division

Burlington,Vermont

p a g e

* SuccessNet is our on-line distance-learning network through which you can take classes any time of the day or night, seven days a week from anywhere you have access to a computer, modem and the World Wide Web.

www.champlain.edu

e-mail: ced@champlain.edu

S E V E N DAYS

Hpppmhpr

1007

A BEAR MARKET?

tique. The bear catalog even showcases Ben & Jerry's-style tie-dyed T-shirts. And like Ben & Jerry's, whose legendary fight with the corporate giant Pillsbury over ice cream markets

its "Bear-Gram" idea by marketing "Pooh Grams" with a simiContinued from page 11 lar-looking trademark. The lawenter the lucrative wholesale suit — pitched in: corporate market, as well as new outlets press releases — was settled in such as florists shops and gift September, apparently without stores, Robert said. Disney paying damages. "We are definitely tarUnder the confidential geting the gift industry," agreement, Disney can she said. "One of the continue to market Pooh things we learned is we are Gram products, but it not a product. We are a voluntarily agreed to alter service; we are in the giftits trademark in some delivery service business, advertising. Vermont the Bear-Gram business, as Teddy Bear, in turn, can opposed to the teddy bear sell Winnie-therPooh business.. .It was obvious merchandise in its catalog we could not deliver a but will no longer offer product [made in America] Pooh bears in the Bearat a price point that was Gram market. suitable or realistic for Generating free pubwholesale." licity over David-versusThe bear maker is not Goliath battles is relativethe first company to jettily risk-free. But, as Ben & son "social" values to Jerry's discovered with its improve performance. Ben salary cap, Vermont A Cowjbmafi°n ^f'sfakcs & Jerry's Homemade Inc. Teddy Bear Co. learned and wjarkef Corces have long ago scrapped its policy with its U.S.-made ideal of linking top executives' k n o c k e d -f-he S f u C C i n g o o f oQ that business reality salary to the pay earned by sometimes takes primacy VeritjOMf T e d d y B e a r c o . its lowliest workers. The over social principles. firm found it could not And the company had compete for managers if their carried the domestic creed to generated massive free publicity salary was capped. for the Vermont underdogs early extreme lengths, said Robert. Intentionally or not, For example, until recently the in its operation, the teddy bear Vermont Teddy Bear Co. has plastic joints inside the animals company this spring tried to lollowed the Ben & Jerry's play- publicize its copyright conthat allow the arms and legs to 3ook in other ways as well. Like frontation with the giant Walt move were made of an unseen the ice cream maker, it cultiyet politically correct compoDisney Co. vates a hip coi porate ambience The Vermont company and markets the Vermont myscharged that Disney had copied Continued on next page

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SEVEN DAYS

CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEAS for someone you know, o r

IL^ILIIII m ^

VI-V^W.^^.^S^S

Continued

from

nent: recycled plastic

even yourself!

0 % off al! personal accessories such as hats shirts, ties, models, cups, toys and much more This month only at

leveli mat facturing here in Vermc Vermont Teddy Bears. 1 tax rainers in our joints," si

: over _that is stri 1 % cover the magic of product, Her letter to ers contained in this al report lists a litany of over the last r

[martin

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named a f f e r Ted<

For warm 6c festive holiday gatherings, join us at the Lincoln Inn for breakfast lunch, or dinner. Enjoy wonderful food and holiday atmosphere. K

Lincoln Inn

Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner Coffee Shop, Dining Room, Banquet Room, Lounge 4 Park Street; Essex Junction • 878-3309

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p a g e

l b

gj|S Nottfi Conway and stores — located o i | i\venue — die ned. No more opened until the compan)

Authentic Chinese Restaurant

HOLIDAY SALE •

jewelry, clothing and books as well as plush animals made by arci i-rivals Guild and SteifF. d to be expensive and not worth i money. "Not only did we reach with rented lists wl not . learned that our catalog c tomers prefer our teddy other teddy bear-rel^ ucrs,,, Robert rold shareE Vermont Teddy Bear 1 opened stores in North New •w York City and Fn in addition to its

SEVEN DAYS

boost $ Ch

Green M vate irivi his firm dece-mber

a-partner in apital, a pri-

.pany, said m 10,

19.9.7

I Bear $500,000 two j based in part on the growth plan Burns "One of the reasons we J _ J . — financing lurns would be 'ith John

THE

PINK

MONTPELIER

SHUTTER

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8 0 2 . 2 2 3 - 3 4

"Happiness"for the holidays

Gifts of fine European lingerie and corsets.

1 3

For moms to be: bras, velvet dresses, sweaters, and more from Belly Basics.

mores [ "Some c results ii was the biggest contril last years loss."

Fabulous gifts for infants. Cozyflannelpajamas and robes. Extended holiday hours: Thurs-Sat 10-6 or by appointment

I, Burii lis way out, replaced 1 I the vice president and < I financial officer whom Burns had recruited. Burns, however, is staying on as a company consulj tant at $75,000 a year. As part of I | his severance package, the firm also forgave a $ 116,800 loan it made to him. Burns candidly admits his | mistakes in the direct-mail side 'the business, but he also said the company on a sound serial footing, in 1995, Vermc coming off a > : he said. "The • was in some organ izatic i financial disarray. On | source basis, it was ^dysfunctional." Manufacturing and producI tion costs were high and finan|s were lacking. Vt an area of the lat didn't nee< lore organized, business)proach to it," he said, i some ways, Vermont , (2o; has followe< ;ctory of a firm seemingly limit1. Bret Golann, •sor at the srmont school of ordinator of the

139 Bank Street - 2nd floor • 802 8 6 3 5801 O n e block west of Church on the corner of St. Paul

FLOWERS

•

GIFTS

•

GARDENWORK:

92% of SEVEN DAYS readers will drive an hour or so for arts, dining, shopping or sports.

'ress

10-30

Savings

December 8tk-18tli holiday • casual • velvets Mon-Fri

1 0 - 8 . S a t 1 0 - 6 . S u n 12-5 115 c o l l e g e s t r e e t

Turlington, vt. 658-4050

con often hit a "speed bump" after a period of rapid expansion; ' I Vermont Teddy Bear Co,'s a[tion, he said such | | p companies often confront management and cost-control problems.

^Give t h e

GIFT of a Life Time

Help a loved one over c o m e their fear of computers

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need management cont precise account they don't have adequate Ugement controls, that can get out of hand very quieffl ,

ml "

mBL J S j

Great Gift Certificate Ideas • $ 5 0 - 1 month membership & a T-shirt • Non-member spinning punch cards • W o r k o u t w e a r s - t o p s , shorts, bike shorts 29 Church Street • Miller's Landmark Building • B u r l i n p n , VT • 660-BQDY December

10,

1997

SEVEN DAYS

COME IN AND HANDCRAFT YOUR OWN HOUDAY GIFTS WHILE DISCOVERING OUR UNIQUE CRAFTS AND CREATIONS 18 Ckarck Strut, h r m t n • 883-8588

page

JAN CANNON POTTERY

T H € 6IRL W H O

MEET

DR67JM6D ONLY G € e S €

HOWARD NORMAN!

atiA Other Talcs of the Far f.'orth

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19 3 : 0 0 - 4 : 3 0 pm

AT P R I N D L E C O R N E R S

Signed books will be available f o r t h o s e who c a n n o t a t t e n d . Please call ahead t o reserve your copy. We can also arrange t o ship books t o t h e Dillons for signing.

19 GAREN ROAD Contemporary stoneware pottery influenced by the ceramic traditions of Asia

EAST CHARLOTTE, V T 0 5 4 4 5 802-425-6320 http://www.Together.net/-jcannon/ HOUDAY

OPEN

STUDIO

AND

SALE

SAT. & SUN. D E C . 13-14 10 A.M. - 5 P.M. O T H E R T I M E S B Y A P P O I N T M E N T OR C H A N C E

Handmade a n d wooden t o y s t o l a s t a lifetime.

Mr. Norman is a National Book Award finalist for two adult novels, The dird Artist and Northern Lights. His award-winning new collection of Inuit tales for all ages is witty, illuminating, and beautifully illustrated by Caldecott Award-winning a r t i s t s Leo and Diane Dillon. Mr. Norman's talk will be directed toward adults and children (ages 6 and up recommended). No reservations are necessary, but please allow time for parking. F L Y I N G PIG C H I L D R E N ' S

• Dollhouses •Games & Puzzles •Castles & Kitchens • Dress-up costumes • Ride-on trucks and trains • 1 8 " Doll clothes & accessories 9 . 3 0 t o 5 . 3 0 Mon - Sat. 12 t o 4 Sunday.

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Ufa IWillard Street Imv has a holiday gift for you... E x t e n d y o u r holiday celebration, relax after a day o f s h o p p i n g , o r just e n j o y a little d o w n t i m e !

1 Harbor Road. S h e l b u r n e Village.

985-3221

Holiday Gift Subscriptions Give your family and friends the "Gift of Theatre" that will delight them all summer long!

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Rate includes a full breakfast and is subject to tax. Valid December 10-23, 1997. Based on availability.

A Vermont Tradition

Call 6 5 1 - 8 7 1 0 for reservations. 3 4 9 So. W i l l a r d S t r e e t • B u r l i n g t o n , V T 0 5 4 0 1

J h a t e

c a r s ! Repair bills. P a r k i n g

tickets.

Air pollution—YeecM B u t i n e e d one. C a n t l i v e w i t n o u t o n e . Gotta have one...now!

Hinesburg Auto "afjtjerdable

pre-lcved

cars"

fyjjp^

many cars to choose f r o m

10 minutes south of Kennedy Drive next t o t h e Hardware Store

BURLINGTON FUTON COMPANY

SALE

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

SPECIALIZING IN SOLID H A R D W O O D FURNITURE BEDROOM • D I N I N G ROOM • LIVING ROOM Foamcore 7" Futon and Frame Converts from Couch to Bed to Chaise Lounge

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With a limited one-week engagement and celebrity talents, Love Letters will most likely sell out early. Guarantee yourselves seats to Love Letters and the rest of this exciting summer season by subscribing now! Single tickets will not go on sale until next June.

Covers

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Dressers

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For delivery prior t o December 2 4 t h order by December 1 7 t h . (Titles subject to change)

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P R O F E S S I O N A L A C T O R S ' E Q U I T Y S U M M E R S T O C K T H E A T R E AT S A I N T M I C H A E L ' S C O L L E G E S I N C E 1 9 4 7

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W E B

3 8 8 Pine Street, Burlington. Next to the Cheese Outlet. M o n d a y & Friday 9-8, Tuesday - Thursday 9-6, S a t u r d a y 10-6, S u n d a y 12-5

w w w . B Ccv t u

WkVx*

S I T E

A BEAR MAI Continued

from

radio advertising blitz "Bear-C on. to the metropoliBurt "y a last-ditch tan The gambit move, and turn phenomena advertisin| just before Valentine^ company inspired tho New Yorkers to order the stuffed animals as love tokens. "We did the Bear-Grams that January [1990] and ' ValentmeVDay com SortihoY trying to re 1990 by re; Bear-Grams and on . as an

•

North Star Cyclery delivers your favorite gifts for the holidays! * Snowboard Packages starting at $219.95 * X-C Ski Packages include woodcore skis, boots, bindings, poles from $129.95 * Snowshoes — Sherpa Demos starting at $99.95 * Boeri Ski/Snowboard Helmets

enjoy the ins & outs of the season with finishing touches from

starting at $94.95 * limbuk 2 Messenger Bags $94.95 * Swix Cross-Country Gators $22.95

W e f hmk f h a f w n a f s e f u s a p a r f fa mo w a s befog seen as a

* Bike Cycling Computer $19.95 * Pedro's Bike Care Package (Rg. $21.95) $12.99

HOLIDAY HOURS

* Powerbar Gift Pack $9.99

Monday, Thursday, & Friday 10-8 Tuesday & Wednesday 10-6

utfiDSical,

v\y. W e ' r e a £ r a i 4 u * e inrghf

have losf f haf." Spencer P u f ham,

North Cyctery

Star

december

1 0 , 1997

WILLISTON

<ihe

gift

jgmmm

T f t e A l a g i A holiday musical for the whole family based on the story by O. Henry.

iI'.h rtaat •

» V

K'-wwr

s * "

December 19, 20, <£. 22 at 7:30 pm; December 21 at 2 pm; December 23 at 2 pm t£ 7:30 general Public $16, Students/Seniors $14 Children 12 and younger $10 Reservations strongly recommended

656-2094 Koyall

Tyler

sponsored by Theatre

H j t J&UrfillgtOU |Fret

PETER M I L L E R PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY FORTY

YEARS

PHOTOGRAPHY

Opening Saturday 8c Sunday, December 13 & 14 Featuring limited edition and vintage black and white prints of Vermont people and scenics, Paris in the fifties, and people and panoramic scenics of the Great Plains. Autographed copies of Peter Miller's classic book Vermont People and his award-winning book People of the Great Plains will also be available.

"We

apart in 1990 a whinisi Putnam might 1 ; are no longer try'ng to recapture the days of year ly five-fold sales increases. "The course now," said' is to look fori growth.*' S I

•

878-0058

Vermont Stage Company

100 Main Street • Burlington, VT 05401 • 863-3832

a d v e r t l S i n g . H , c , The Bear Gram business was "neglected" somewhat as the company invested in the catalog; operations, said Putnam. The personalized Bear-Grams accounted for 70 percent of net revenues during the last fiscal year, down from 76 percent in 3 996. To keep that side of the business solid, the firm is advertising in new markets, including Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, Dallas and St. Louis. The Internet has proved to Study our environment through a curriculum that features be a low-cost selling tool and a academics, outdoor challenge, hands-on learning, and real natural link to the radio ads, said world internship experiences. Come to beautiful northern Robert. The ads tout the compaVermont for a semester, a year, or to earn an Associate of Arts degree ny's Web site, which allows cusApplications are encouraged from qualified individuals who are tomers to see the bears before 18 and over, and can engage in physical challenge. they order them, she said. The company is on track to post $500,000 in sales this year and hopes to grow to about $ 1 milW O R K INC. II A N H S W O R K I N G M I N D S lion Web-related sales — all on 1-800-648-3591 an investment of about $25,000, : Accredited bx the Sew Endand Asst datum of Schools & Colleges she said. . In a sense, Vermont Teddy Bear Co. is rediscovering its niche, Putnam said. It is trying to develop "edgier" products, like the Shredder Bear, and working to sell those products through the proven success of radio. -

O N E BLAIR P A R K

Sunday 12-5

vice president

Sterling College

clothes for w o m e n o f all ages

Saturday 10-5:30

Woodchuck Sunday - December 14,3-5PM Meet Fred Turtle, "The Man With The Plan" and George Woodard, showing his short comedy film, The Greening of Vermont. Collect autographed books and prints. Enjoy Cold Hollow cider and doughnuts. We can mat and frame in time for Christmas, if you hurry! Located two houses south of Ben & Jerrys, Route 100, Waterbury • Telephone 8 0 2 - 2 4 4 - 5 3 3 9 • Hours 10AM-6PM

S i m .PAYS

P.age, 2 1,

FREE n / DINNER! \ I • .

W ' t H POrCHaSc OF SecoNd eNtree o F e^/ai. or

greater

\ 2 For 1 / e

vaud For lunch & d NN r 11 a w

merry long before Christmas. You won't even find Santa Claus in "Night Fires." The annual solstice celebration makes pageantry from the pagan view of a long night's journey into day. This year's program makes hip-hop,

\ J

vauje

LIGHT YOUR FIRE: December revelers made

Hasidic tales and Persian poems more than ornamental. Thursday through Tuesday, December u to 16, in Rutland, Burlington, St. Johnsbury and Montpelier. See calendar for times. $8. Info, 863-1024.

THE SWEAT OF THEIR BROWS: m this season of the Grinch, activists set to work to relieve children from the job. The candlelight vigil hopes to illuminate the dark shadows of America's greediest corporations: exploited, underpaid and often underage workers. Among those sweatshops exposed are: Wal-Mart, Walt Disney, Nike and Victoria's Secret. Thursday, December 11, Vermont Statehouse, Montpelier, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-2340.

LEAVE IT TO BEAVER?: If your holiday

ITEMS fiVfilLfiOLE fiT LUNCH SUNDAY BRUNCH A C R O S S F R O M

• 11 1O SHELBURNE ROAD C I N E M A 9 • 6 5 1 - 8 7 7 5

spirit

is beginning to drag, The Sisters LeMay are here to help. "Amber" and "Marguerite" enlist the accompaniment of comedian Sue Ball and actor/singer Craig Mitchell in a journey back

hutch

Street

©Marketplace

to their roots at the Hot Damn; Trailer Park. "A Beaver Pond Christmas" is sure to let the Yule logs roll. Friday and Sunday, December 12 & 14, Shoebox Theater, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. Info, 865-3/34.

CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN? The "because Join us for a traditional holiday experience! /T

one unlucky climber down the slippery slope. Is there too

Calendar of Holiday Events

FREE HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE RIDES Saturdays & Sundays Noon - 4 pm Sponsored by: Chittenden Bank, WOKO, WJOY, KOOL 105, Vermont Times, PIER 1 Imports, Apple Mountain, Sweetwaters, John Anthony Designer, Radisson & April Cornell CHILDCARE WHILE YOU S H O P YMCA - Saturdays 10 - 4 Call 862-9622 to register

FREE PARKING Meters after 5pm all week ALL DAY Sat. & Sun. Garages 2 hours. Sat.; ALL DAY, Sun. Sponsored by.- Lippa's Jewelers, PIF.R I Imports, NF.CI Commons & The Shoe Horn

D O W N T O W N GIFT CERTIFICATE Redeemable in over 160 stores, restaurants is. services Order by phone: 863-1648

For more information call

863-1648

Church Street Marketplace and Burlington Square Mall llilW'lil"^ 1 ^J s i ' businesses are donating time, merchandise and money ^MMUwliwil^ to area non-profits during the holidays! The goal for this effort is $32,000! Celebrate the true spirit of the holidays. ^ , /

MCAXTV^

CuotiTtnc^GtM ortrs

KOOL

98.9JgOKO

WJOY

£ Howard Bank

it was there" school of alpine adventure has sent more than

E CHURCF STREET

much emphasis on summit strategy in these pay-per-view days? Himalayan Heidi Howkins shares her views from the top in a lecture for the Green Mountain Club. Friday, December 12. Green Mountain Club, Waterbury Center, 7 p.m. $5. Register, 244-7037.

HISTORIC, NOT HYSTERIC: In the face of

CALEN r Hi

wVi Ml i i m Hi

music 111

Stop In before or after your night on the town for our

famous fries and gravy! Live music every night — never a covert

We serve Vermont microbrews. Food & Bar Specials Dally • Gift Certificates AvalaWe!

The home of Phrsh! 188 Main St, Burlington 658-4771 Since 1975 —

Thank.i for all the year* of support!

takes on surrogate parenthood in a play about a wealthy couple that cannot conceive: Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 8 p.m. $16. Reservations, 295-5432.

words

LANE SERIES: Ensemble-in-residence at the Smithsonian, Hesperus performs traditional holiday music from around the world. UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 656-4455.

POETRIA OBSCURA: Mary Rechner reads from her poetry and short fiction at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7225.

dance

kids

DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE: Meditate as you move through simple circle dances and chants. Unitarian Church, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $5-7. Info, 6582447.

drama PICKLES REESE: This one-man "tour de farce" is entitled "So This You Call ... A Christmas Carol." Montpelier City Hall, 8 p.m. $9. Info, 229-0492. ' T H E BABY DANCE': Northern Stage f

PARENTS ANONYMOUS: Parents gather for support and assistance around the frustrations of childrearing. Babysitting goes with the program in Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800639-4014. TALES: Ages three through six listen at 10-10:45 a.m. The under-three crowd gets entertained from 11 to 11:25 a.m. Fletcher Library, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORIES: Children listen, snack and

make crafts at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655STORY TIME: Kids get an earful: Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

sport

FENCING TOURNAMENT: Foilf again. Sword wielders of all ages corf in dry and electric fencing at the anl holiday "blackout bash." Bridge Sen Middlebury, 6:30-9 p.m. $3 to con free to watch. Info, 759-2268.

etc REPORT O N LANDMINES: Bafl from the international conference < landmines in Ottawa, Senator Patrj] Leahy addresses his alma mater. Room, Alliot Hall, St. Michael's1 Colchester, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 65^ V E R M O N T DEMOGRAPHY Take your lunch to a lecture aboi changing demographic profile of

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Saturday, December 13 Vermont. U V M Central Vermont Regional Center, Montpelier, noon - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 223-0388. A.D.D. M E E T I N G : Children and adults with Attention Deficit Disorder exchange ideas and concerns. Fred Tuttle Middle School Cafeteria, S. Burlington, 6:30 P-m. Free. Info, 657-2655. 'HEARTY SOLES' WALK: Join a weekly mile-long walk for fun and fitness that leaves from the Community Health Center, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 864-6309. BATTERED W O M E N ' S S U P P O R T GROUPS: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the Shelter Committee facilitates a meetln g in Washington County, 1-2:30 p.m. Free. Info, 479-9310.

music M O Z A R T FESTIVAL: T h e Oriana Singers and the Vermont Mozart Festival Orchestra collaborate for Christmas. T h e first three parts of Bach's Christmas Oratorio will be performed. Stowe Community Church, 7:30 p.m. $18-25. Info, 800-639-9097. V S O P O P S C O N C E R T : Blues vocalist Tammy Fletcher joins the Vermont Symphony Orchestra and chorus for a concert of seasonal favorites, including "Greensleeves," by Vaughan Williams. See story, this issue. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $18. Info, 80Q-VSO-9293.

drama PICKLES REESE: See December 10. ' T H E BABY D A N C E ' : See December 10. FASHION S H O W : T h e high school drama society takes to the runway to raise money for theater productions. New Gym, Bellows Free Academy, Fairfax,

8:30 p.m. $5. Info, 849-6535. ' N I G H T FIRES': A young woman's journey from alienation to reconnection is the story behind this year's annual solstice-inspired music-filled show. See "to do" list, this issue. Rutland Unitarian Church, 7:40 p.m. $8. Info, 863-1024. IMPROVISATIONAL COMEDY N I G H T : T h e Kamikaze Comedy improv collective welcomes your suggestions for an evening of spontaneous humor. Breakers, S. Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 864-2069.

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Buffet Dinner 5-7 pjn. (Suggested Donation 85) Silent Auction 5-9 p.m.

Hand-built 17' Cape Charles Kayak; Birch-framed Mirror; Quit; Pottery; Telemark Ski Lessons; Peak Adventure Ice Clmbing Lessons (luli day private Instruction); Day on a Ropes Course; Canoe Paddle; Snow Shoe Expedition; Gift Certificates to area restaurants, Advance Music, framing service; Shelburne Farms One-Year Membership; Stained Glass Art; Housecleanlng Services; IVwo Adirondack Chairs; Framed Autographed Phteh Poster; Burton Snowboard.

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE ' P U L P F I C T I O N ' : John Travolta, Samuel Jackson and Uma Thurman star in this fast-paced urban cult flick directed by Quentin Tarantino. 207 Lafayette Hall, U V M , Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 656-2221. FILM A N D V I D E O FESTIVAL: See flicks by Robin Lloyd, Keith Speigel,

continued on next page

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Walter Ungerer and other local moviemakers at this two-day film fest on a "big screen." Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 7 p.m. midnight. Donations. Info, 660-9381.

music

words CANCER & T H E ENVIRONMENT TALK: Sandra Steingraber discusses her new book, Living Downstream: An Ecologist Looks at Cancer and the Environment. Marsh Science Building, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-5221. BOOK DISCUSSION: Eva-Mary, by Linda McCarriston, is the focus of a series entitled, "Family Values: A Second Look." Charlotte Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 425-2191. NINE M O N T H S T O GETTYSBURG': Howard Coffin introduces his historical book about Vermont involvement in the Battle of Gettysburg. Vermont Historical Society, Montpelier, 4:30-6 p.m. Free. Info, 229-0774. POETRY RECITATION: Adult basic ed students perform "Words in My Blood, Poetry by Heart" after weeks of literacy work with storyteller Peter Burns. Stowe Library, 7 p.m Free. Info, 658-3654. 'LAZY WRITERS FORUM': Share your writing-in-progress in a supportive workshop environment. KelloggHubbard Library, Montpelier, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 223-1724.

kids PARENTS ANONYMOUS: See December 10.

etc REIKI CLINIC: Experience an ancient, non-invasive, hands-on healing technique that originated in the East. Spirit Dancer, Burlington, 6:308:30 p.m. Donations. Reservations, 660-8060. SWEATSHOP LABOR VIGIL: Demonstrate against Wal-Mart, Disney, Nike, K-Mart and other companies criticized for their labor practices. See "to do" list, this issue.Vermont Statehouse, Montpelier, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-2340. A R O U N D N E W ENGLAND DINNER': Sample hot crab canapes and citrus salad made by restaurant students at Champlain College. Boardroom Cafe, Champlain College, 6 p.m. $9.95. Info, 860-2700, ext. 2609.

MOZART FESTIVAL: See December 11, First Congregational Church, Burlington, 8 p.m. VSO POPS CONCERT: See December 11, Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 8:30 p.m. $19-31. Seven Days editor Pamela Polston interviews the guest vocalist and the conductor at 7 p.m. MADRIGAL FESTIVAL: Twelve high school choirs contribute to a midwinter music festival featuring seasonal music from centuries past. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 524-9063. MAD RIVER CHORALE: An eclectic program of holiday music includes a calypso number, a Gaelic blessing, a Jewish prayer and Christmas carols "with a twist." Waitsfield Federated Church, 7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 476-5690. ANIMA: The all-female vocal ensemble mixes medieval music and contemporary compositions in a seasonal concert featuring English carols sung in the language of Chaucer. See "Sound Adive," this issue. North Church, St. Johnsbury, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 86-FLYNN. A WINTER FANTASY': Acoustic guitarists Frank Wallace, Stephen Nystrup and Scott McAllister celebrate the release of their new compact disc. New Hampshire violinist Meredith Cooper is also featured. Burlington City Hall Auditorium, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 865-7166.

dance FREE SPIRIT DANCE: Movers and shakers take advantage of an evening of unstructured dance and community. Chace Mill, Burlington, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 863-9828.

drama ' T H E BABY DANCE': See December 10.

' N I G H T FIRES': See December 11, Unitarian Church, Burlington. ' T H E SHEPHERD'S PLAY': The Champlain Community Players present the medieval nativity story in verse with piano accompaniment. Christ Church Presbyterian, UVM, Burlington, 7 p.m. Donations. Info, 658-9974.

' T H E CRADLE WILL ROCK': Lost Nation Theater and the Montpelier High School Masque stage the satirical cult musical described as a socialist version of It's a Wonderful Life. Montpelier City Hall, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 229-0492. 'A BEAVER P O N D CHRISTMAS': The Sisters LeMay share seasonal songs, witty banter and wild stories from the Hot Damn Trailer Park in Beaver Pond. See "to do" list, this issue. Shoebox Theater, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. Info, 865-3734.

words OPEN POETRY READING: Join the "uncommon din" with participating poets at Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 8 p.m. Info, 864-6106. BOOK DISCUSSION: Readers compares clues in a discussion of Borderlines, by Vermont mystery writer Archer Mayor. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

GRAM: Author and photographer Paul Rezendes focuses on the spiritual side of tracking in a slide lecture written in "the language of the forest." Charlotte Central School Gym, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 434-4113. GLASSBLOWING DEMO: Check out the food, drink and formal demonstrations at a sale on firsts and seconds. Church & Maple Glass Studio, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 7 p.m. Free. Info, 863-3880. HOLIDAY DINNER SHOW: Antipasto tastes better with entertainment from Ben Koenig and Trinidad Twa. Listen for samba, swing and classical tunes at Villa Tragara, Waterbury Center, 6:30 p.m. $38. Reservations, 244-5288. LESBIGATR YOUTH SUPPORT MEETING: Lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgendered and "questioning" folks under 23 are welcome at Outright Vermont, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

kids SANTA: Your snapshot with Santa supports programming at the King Street Youth Center. Burlington Square Mall, 4-8 p.m. $6. Info, 862-6736. SINGING: All ages sing with Robert Resnik. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. STORY HOUR: Toddlers listen to stories at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

sport 'IS T H E SUMMIT IMPORTANT?': Himalayan climber Heidi Howkins shares her views on high-altitude issues such as managing risk. See "to do" list, this issue. Green Mountain Club, Waterbury Center, 7 p.m. $5. Register, 244-7037. OPEN FENCING: Make your point for fitness. Memorial Auditorium Annex, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. $3. Info, 865-1763.

etc BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: See December 10, Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT CONFERENCE: A gathering of public policy experts consider community issues such as public attitudes toward large-scale retail development in Vermont. Sheraton Conference Center, S. Burlington, 8:15 a.m. - 3:45 p.m. $45. Register, 656-0648. WILDLIFE TRACKING PRO-

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PICKLES REESE: See December 10, 3 p.m.. ' T H E BABY DANCE': See December 10, 2 & 8 p.m. ' N I G H T FIRES': See December 11, Unitarian Church, Burlington. ' T H E SHEPHERD'S PLAY': See December 12. ' T H E CRADLE WILL ROCK': See December 12. ' T H E SEVEN VALLEYS': The Quinn family presents "a wayfarers journey from the abode of dust to the heavenly homeland," a dramatization of the book written by the founder of the Baha'i faith. Holley Hall, Bristol, 8 p.m. $12. Info, 453-5943. AUDITIONS: The Middlebury Community Players are looking for a mature woman and man to cast in The Gin Game, to be staged in February. Report to Langrock, Sperry and Wool, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 352-4204.

kids SANTA: See December 12, 10:30 a.m. - 8 p.m. FESTIVAL OF CHRISTMAS TREES. Decorate cookies and trees, or listen to the youth choir.anc£spry- , j . telling, at the Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, noon - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 253-8358.

sport FAMILY ROCK CLIMB: Adults accompanied by children can climb indoors for free. No experience is necessary. Burlington Rock Gym, Essex, 25 p.m. Free. Register, 878-1294.

3 : 0 0 - 6 : 0 0 p.m. ?! Visit seven historic downtown buildings and enjoy festive music, food and other entertainment Tickets: Adults-$5, Children (12-18)~$2, Family - $10 Available in advance at the Sheldon Museum or at Stroll locations Dec. 14

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VSO POPS CONCERT: See December 11, Flynn Theatre, Burlington. Seven Days editor Pamela Polston interviews the guest vocalist and the conductor at 6:30 p.m. MAD RIVER CHORALE: See December 12. ANIMA: See December 12, St. Augustine's Church, Montpelier. VERMONT YOUTH ORCHESTRA: "Ensembles in the Snow" features a variety of small chamber groups playing classical selections such as the highly polished "Apollo Quartet." UVM Recital Hall, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3199. A CAPPELLA CONCERT: Class Act, Cat's Meow and the Catamounts raise their respective voices to raise money for steeple repair at the Williston Federated Church, 7 p.m. $5-10. Info, 864-5962. ' ' "':v ' 'A VICTORIAN CHRISTMAS': Diane Huling and friends celebrate the season with song. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 476-8188. HOLIDAY CONCERT: The Vermont-based Amidon family takes time out from its international tour to play folk instruments and sing seasonal songs. Montshire Museum, Norwich, 2 p.m. $7. Info, 649-2200.

CONTRA DANCE: David Kaynor calls for Spare Parts. All dances are taught at Edmunds School Cafeteria, Burlington, 8 p.m. A beginners' workshop starts at 7:30 p.m. $6. Info, 658-8488. BALLROOM DANCE: Dress informally for this fun-oriented dance. Beginners and singles are welcome at Fred Turtle Middle School, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. A lesson on dances of the '30s, '40s and '50s starts at 7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 879-0501. CENTRAL VERMONT SQUARES: Al Monty calls for a Christmas dance. Capitol City Grange, Montpelier, 7:3010:30 p.m. $8. Info, 485-6739. Advanced hour at 6:30 p.m. costs $2 per couple.

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tive to the term "world beat." With nearly 20 instruments among them, the global gang gives play to European Baroque, American colonial, even blues and pop Hesperus appears courtesy of the Lane Series at UVM this Wednesday.

'TELE-RAMA': Climb High offers trial runs of boots, skis, bindings, clothing, eyewear and snowshoes. Bolton Valley, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. $25 for a lift ticket. Info, 985-5055. STOWEFEST D E M O DAYS: Over 70 ski manufacturers demonstrate their sporting goods at Midway, Stowe Mountain Resort, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. $50 lift ticket. Take a credit card as a deposit. Info, 253-3000. CAMEL'S H U M P HIKE: Bring lunch, water, warm clothes and snowshoes on a five-mile hike up the Burrows Trail. Meet in Burlington, 8 a.m. Take gas money. Register, 863-2433. S N O W S H O E HIKE: The Long Trail leads to Watson Camp on this difficult seven-mile hike — or snowshoe.

Carpooling from Montpelier, 9 a.m. Free. Register, 223-7035.

etc GLASSBLOWING D E M O : See December 12, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. 'CREATIVE BLACK TIE' BENEFIT: Dress up to help the down and out at a benefit dinner with dancing to Jenni Johnson and the Jazz Junketeers. Proceeds benefit the Committee on Temporary Shelter. Sweetwaters, Burlington, 9 p.m. $10. Info, 864-7402. 'CONSCIOUSNESS & HEALING': Felicia Foster, a nurse who has studied with Deepak Chopra, explains the ancient science of Ayurveda. Hauke Center, Champlain College, Burlington, 10 a.m. $4. Info,

879-3454. W I N T E R BIRD FEEDING: Learn how to attract winter birds to your yard. A slide show helps with identification. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 9-11:30 a.m. $10. Info, 229-6206. ST. LUCIA FEST: Swedish decorations, memorabilia and Christmas breads will be for sale. Catch the music and dancing at the United Church of Christ, Randolph, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 728-5719. SILENT AUCTION: Rock Point School hosts a benefit dinner and silent auction to raise money for extracurricular student activities. Rock Point School, Burlington, 5-7 p.m. $5. Info, 863-1104.

Wehrman will perform monologues at the annual meeting of senior sisters. Bring a favorite dish — and a friend. Lane Shops Senior Housing Complex, Franklin Street, Montpelier, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 229-9051. WAREHOUSE SALE: Rhino Foods sells cheesecake and brownie "seconds" to benefit Recycle North and its mission to alleviate poverty through job training and resource conservation. 79 Industrial Parkway, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 658-4143. FULL M O O N CIRCLE: This ritual is intended to help you stay centered on your life path. Spirit Dancer, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 660-8060.

music MAD RIVER CHORALE: See December 12, First Presbyterian Church, Barre, 4 p.m. ANIMA: See December 12, St. Paul's Cathedral, Burlington, 4 p.m. VSO POPS CONCERT: See December 11, College of St. Josephs, Rutland, 3 p.m. $19. FIDDLERS ASSOCIATION C O N CERT: Old-time sawyers show their stuff at the Montpelier Elks Club, 15:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 244-8537.

OLDER W O M E N ' S LEAGUE: Doris

continued on next page

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HOLIDAY COMMUNITY SING: Neighbors get harmonious at the Joslyn Round Barn, Waitsfield, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 496-7722. COMMUNITY CAROL SING: Four church choirs and a bell choir provide back up at this holiday harmonic convergence that culiminates with the "Hallelujah Chorus." Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 6:30 p.m. Donations for the foodshelf. Info, 476-4300. CHRISTMAS CANTATA: Adults singers from the North Avenue Alliance Church perform an original cantata entitled, "How Great Our Joy." North Avenue Alliance Church, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0501. RANDOLPH SINGERS: The Randolph Singers welcome their new musical director, Larry Hamberlin, for a Christmas concert and sing-a-long. Chandler Music Hall, Randolph, 3 p.m. Donations. Info, 728-9133. TRILLIUM SINGERS: A cappella music from the Renaissance to present includes special arrangements of traditional carols, spirituals and songs for the winter season. New Haven Congregational Church, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 388-3856.

drama ' T H E CRADLE WILL ROCK': See December 12, 3 p.m. 'A BEAVER P O N D CHRISTMAS': See December 12, 8 p.m. ' N I G H T FIRES': See December 14, North Congregational Church, St. Johnsbury, 3:40 p.m. $8.50. 'A CHRISTMAS CAROL': The Nebraska Theatre Caravan offers a high-tech musical version of the Scrooge story. Flynn Theatre, Burlington, 7 p.m. $16-27.50. Info, 863-5966. ' T H E PARADOX BOX': Performance artist Peter Pereira creates a surreal "artscape" spectacle around the stories of Jack Healy, former director of Amnesty International and the Peace Corps. •JBfiggs Opera House, White Rivet i Junction, ,5 p.m. $10. Reservations, "2 9 5 - 5 4 3 2 1 ' ' . i-k^if.

kids

SANTA: See December 12, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. 'WHEN T H E W I N D BEARS GO DANCING': Middlebury author and illustrator Phoebe Stone reads and signs her new book for kids. Deerleap Books, Bristol, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5684.

sport 'TELE-RAMA': See December 13. STOWEFEST DEMO DAYS: See December 13. SKI OR SNOWSHOE HIKE: The weather will determine where — and how — to follow) ^ur leader. Meet in Burlington, 8 a.m. 1 ike gas money. Register, 660-2834. SNOWSHOE HIKE: The Green Mountain Club heads up a five-mile trek to Montclair Glen Lodge. Carpool from Montpelier, 8:30 a.m. Free. Register, 223-0918.

etc 'WINTERFEST': Celebrate the holiday with local musicians and dancers, Santa and sleigh rides. Mary's at Baldwin Creek, Bristol, noon - 4 p.m. $3. Info, 453-2432. HISTORICAL CHRISTMAS STROLL: Visit seven historic buildings in "First Night" fashion, each of which offers seasonal entertainment, activities and refreshments. See "to do" list, this issue. Middlebury, 3-6 p.m. $5. Reservations, 388-2117. TRAPP FAMILY LODGE TOUR: A self-guided tour of the elegant Austrian inn features a dozen fir trees trimmed in different themes. Trapp Family Lodge, Stowe, 1-5 p.m. $10 includes tea and pastries. Info, 253-8985. MUSEUM OPEN HOUSE: Check out planetarium shows, music, activities and refreshments at a holiday open house at the Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 1-4 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2372.

music 'MESSIAH SING-IN': Bring a score if you have one. Celebrated regional vocalists "handel" the hard parts. Stowe Community .Church, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 253-7321. OPEN REHEARSAL: Women compare notes at a harmonious rehearsal of the Champlain Echoes. S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6703.

art 'ART DOESN'T BITE' The lunchtime lecture series gets seasonal with a focus on the lights of Christmas and Hanukkah. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, noon - 12:45 p.m. $5. Reservations, 775-0356.

words 'WOMEN O N HUNTING': A collection of fiction, poetry and essays by leading authors includes works by avid hunters and those who think hunting should be outlawed. See "to do" list, this issue. Rutland Library, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 773-1860.

kids STORY TIME: Folks from three to five listen up at the S. Burlington Library, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. ' T H E SECRET GARDEN': Theatreworks stages a musical version of the classic children's story. Moore Theater, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H. 7 p.m. $12.50. Info, 603-646-2422.

etc BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: See December 10, Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m. GLITTER PARTY: The Gay and Lesbian Literature and Film Club invites you to tell your own tale, read a poem or sing a song. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $2-6. Info, 652-1103. TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get information, supplies, screening and treatment for sexually related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, 863-6326.

GROUP: Hurting for the holidays? Share your grief with others in mourning. Adult Day Center, Visiting Nurses Building, Colchester, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1900.

EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: People with emotional problems meet at the O'Brien Center, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 660-9036.

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

drama

music

' N I G H T FIRES': See December 14, Bethany Church, Montpelier, 7:40 p.m.

KILLINGTON MUSIC FESTIVAL: The Seth Yacovone Blues Band opens for Grammy Award-winning Roomful of Blues at a bold benefit for the chamber music festival. Wobbly Barn Steakhouse, Killington, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 773-4003.

dance 'TRAVELS IN EGYPT': Gretchen Gnaedingeer performs solo to original music by Clark Russell, David Lightfoot, Tom Lawson and Jack Lawson. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 12:30 & 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7165.

words WRITERS' GROUP: Writers work with words at 173 N. Prospect St., Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9257.

kids STORY TIME: Folks under three listen up at the S. Burlington Library, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. SINGING: All ages sing with Robert Resnik. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Register, 865-7216. STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

etc BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: See December 10, Barre, 10:30 a.m. - noon. SCREENING CLINIC: A simple finger stick blood test offers immediate results. Advice is included at Fletcher Allen Wellness Center, Burlington, 10 a.m. -»• 1 p.m. Free blood pressure; $14 for cholesterol ratio. Info, 865-2278. BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT

dance DANCES OF UNIVERSAL PEACE: Meditate as you move through simple circle dances and chants. Noble Hall, Vermont College, Montpelier, 7 p.m. $5-7. Info, 658-2447.

art 'GETTING DRESSED IN T H E 18TH CENTURY': Hear the undercover story in conjunction with the exhibit Love and Domesticity in 18thcentury France. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H. 4:30 p.m. Free. A musical reception follows at 5:30 p.m. Info, 603-646-2808.

kids PARENTS ANONYMOUS: See December 10. 'PRESENTS FOR T H E BIRDS': Preschoolers make tasty treats for feathered friends. Green Mountain Audubon Nature Center, Huntington, 1 p.m. $3. Register, 434-3068. 'TERRIFIC TREES': Preschoolers sing, make art and play while learning a bit of science. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 10-11:30 a.m. $8. Info, 229-6206. W I N D IN T H E WILLOWS': Northern Stage creates the Wild Wood with Mole, Badger, Rat and Toad. Catch the Christmas action at the

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Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 7 p.m. $14/16. Reservations, 295-5432. TALES: Ages three through six listen 10-10:45 a.m. The under-three crowd gets entertained at 11-11:25 a.m. Fletcher Library, Burlington. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORIES: Children listen, snack and make crafts at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537. STORY TIME: Kids get an earful at Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

etc 'HEARTY SOLES' WALK: See December 10. BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: See December 10. REIKI CLINIC: See December 11, 6:30-9:30 p.m. CHAMBER MIXER: The Lake Champlain Regional Chamber of Commerce hosts "A Merry Little Mixer" with door prizes from Together Networks and Ivy Brooks. Key Bank, St. Paul Street, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $12. Reservations, 863-3489. A.D.D. MEETING: Diagnosing and evaluating

attention deficit disorder is the topic of discussion. Burgess Building, UVM, Burlington, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 657-2655. COMMUNITY CURRENCY MEETING: Green Mountain Hours — Central Vermont's local currency based on barter — is the focus of a monthly meeting. Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 223-7943.

Calendar

is w r i t t e n

by Clove

Tsinclle

and edited

by Paula

R o u t l y . C l u b s iirici a r t

listings are c o m p i l e d

by Pamela

Polston. All s u b m i s s i o n s

a r e d u e in

writing on the Thursday

before

publi-

cation. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and

style. Send t o :

P.O.

SEVEN

Box 1164, Burlington,

05402-1164.

Or fax

DAYS, VT

802-865-1015.

Email: sevenday@together.net

CLASSES art

Burlington. $8. Info, 229-6282. Creative expression is the goal of this dancercise clots.

TAI CHI: Tuesdays, 6 30-8 p.m. &c 8-9 p.m. Food For Thou Stowe, $10. Info, 253-4733.

POTTERY A N D SCULPTURE: Mondays through Saturdays, starting January 5, 9:30-11 a.m. or 6-8:30 p.m. or 3-5 p.m. for kids and teens. Vermont Clay Studio, 24 Main Street, Montpelier. $105 for kids and teens. $155 for adults. Register, 22.3-4220. Beginning, advanced and specialty classes include hundreds of studio hours at no 1 extm charge. < "v \ WOMEN'S ART A N D PHOTOGRAPHY CLASS: Saturday, December 13, 2-4 p.m. Hubbard Library, Montpelier. Free. Info, 223-3338. Male figure model provided.

fl6 3 I t H

ving tsun

INTRO T O CHIROPRACTIC: Wednesdays, 8 p.m. 200 Main Street #17. Burlington. Free. Register, 862-2477. Spencer Sherman nukes a case for putting your spine m line.

MOYYAT-VING T S U N K U N G FU: Thursdays, 7:30-9 p.m, ? Body Garage. Burlington. $10. Info. 658-7821. Develop health, fitness and inner strength while learning a prai tied and applicable martial art. Women's classes, Body Garage member and monthly rates are available

aikido

AIKIDO: Mondays - Fridays, 5:45-8 p.m. Saturdays, 10-11:15 a.m. Aikido of die Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $55 per month. Register, 654-6999. This graceful, powerful martial art is an alternative to those that rely on offensive strikes and kicks.

billiards POOL SCHOOL: Four Mondays starting January 12, 6-9 p.m. Or Four Saturdays starting January 10, 2-5 p.m. Breakers Club, S. Burlington, $20. Register, 864-2069. The current state 9-ball champ teaches.

career PART-TIME COLLEGE INTRO: Wednesday, December 10,4:308:30 p.m. Woodbury College, Montpelier. Free. Register, 800-6396039. An introduction to paralegal studies, mediation, or prevention and community development includes a free dinner. 'CAREER FOCUS': Tuesday, December 16, noon - 4 p.m. Vermont Student Assistance Corporation, Winppski, Free, Register t 800-642*3! Ytf-XUuhs mhkti their career interests, f k f i M ^ M , 1

dance

meditation MEDITATION: Thursdays. 7-8:30 p.m. 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203. Wiiliston. Info, 872-3797. Green Mountain Learning Center presents meditation. MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist practices.

self-realization

its

jvr^w ASTANGA YOGA Saturday, December 13, 1-4 p.m. Burlington Yoga Studio. $20, Register. 658-YOGA. The emphasis in teaching the complete series is on creating a personal practice. BURLINGTON YOGA STUDIO: Daily, Burlington Yoga Studio. Info, 658-YOGA. Classes are offen d in Astanga, Iyengar, Kripalu and Bikram styles. Beginners can start any time.

'SUSTAINING JOY': Saturday, December 13, 1-3 p.m. Mystic Trader Book Store, Montpelier. $15. Info, 2529-9220, Shirley Knapp and Nanette McLane offer workshop from their book, about living more

spirit FENG SHUI & THE BEDROOM: Thursday, December 12, 7 p.m. Spirit Dancer, Burlington. $25. Register, 660-8060, In the Asian art of placement, the energy in the bedroom affects your love life, sleep, career, creativity andprospmty, \ ENERGY PLEASURE DANCE: Thursday, December 18, 6:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Bookstore, 22 Church Street, Burlington. Sliding •** | scale. Register, 660-8060. Beginners learn to play with;"the, pulse oftbe universe" in simple dances designed, toch^rgeyou up. lACE OF SPIRITUALITY IN O W 4 Y E T : Monc through December 22, 4-6 p.m. Burlington. $20/week. Info, 9854045. Theresa Bacon leads a women's group for deepening spiritual cgnnmctton. . , <-

DANSKINETICS: Thursdays, 7:30-8:45 p.m. Earth Dance Studio,

EARLY DEADLINE: calendar information for december 22 through january 14 must be received by Wednesday, december 17, due to holiday production schedules

Dare to experience jot] this holidsq season! SUSTAINING J O Y [by Shirley

Knapp and Nanette McLane. This personal "play" book is filled with insights and love from many dimensions of thought and realities. This book is designed to bring you laughter, play and fun as you continue to unfold into your Truth. $14.95.

H E you'llRdiscover...B S G a n d l e s & Incense Qmbroidered Handmade Stockings l i o t s of Lather — H a n d m a d e S o a p G f d i b l e Herbal C o n f e c t i o n s B o o k s , C a l e n d a r s & Cards R e l a x a t i o n & Eye Pillows E l l Your Winter Cold N e e d s S ) e a , Mugs & Pots I n c r e d i b l e Herbs

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7 1

Garrison

This is quite presidential nomia long shot for a nation of his own Gov. D e a n h a s governor from a party, whether or a l w a y s s e e m e d state with only not he is eligible three electoral to hold the offict b e t t e r a t votes. But even Of the presidential nomip r e s c r i b i n g more puzzling is that this effort nations in the s o l u t i o n s f o r on the gover20th century nor's part jeopmade by the presiothers than ardizes the presdent's party, 18 idential pros, l i s t e n i n g to have gone to the pects of Al sitting president, a n y t h i n g o t h e r Gore, the desigthree to the ace president (Richard t h a n h i s o w n nated legatee of President Nixon in 1960, p e r s o n a l Clinton, a man Hubert Humwhose many phrey in 1968 and c o u n s e l . positive interGeorge Bush in ventions in 1988), and two to Gov. Dean's cabinet members career have (William Howard given him the Taft in 1908 and national prominence which he Herbert Hoover in 1928). A presently enjoys. I can't imagine simple count indicates that 23 that the residents of the White of 25 in-party nominations have remained inside the White House are pleased. House circle -— a 92 percent These concerns are obviousrate in this century. Only in ly secondary to the governor, 1920 and 1952 did the inwho appears to have been party nomination move beyond afflicted with the presidential the White bug when he did his New York House. In those State delegate stint at the 1976 Democratic convention in New years, two York City — which nominated Democratic govone-term Georgia Governor ernors — James Jimmy Carter. And what better Cox of Ohio and place to nurture those ambiAdlai Stevenson tions than in the state of of Illinois — were nominated Vermont, a place conveniently by the convention and obliterlocated between the state of his ated by the electorate.

Nelson

iving in Massachusetts for most of the past 19 months has kept me away from the Montpelier machinations of Governor Howard Dean, MD. But it now appears from the Boston and New York media that Vermont's governor has decided to step up in class and go after the premier prize in American politics — the presidency. Moving onto the national stage from the nation's smallest state capital — and second-smallest state — would seem to be a daunting task for most, but not for Gov. Dean. Some advice from others might have dissuaded him from taking this rather large plunge, but Gov. Dean has always seemed better at prescribing solutions for others than listening to anything other than his own personal counsel. So here is an unsolicited second opinion for the good doctor. Had he taken more courses in history and political science at college, Gov. Dean might have been alerted to the simple fact that the occupant of the White House controls the

birth and that of New Hampshire, the primary birthplace of so many other presidential candidacies. How fortunate for us that Vermont was so ideally situated for the governor's plan. I am so glad for Gov. Dean that Vermont has afforded him the opportunity to indulge these fantasies. However, I doubt that Vice President Gore shares these Green Mountain sentiments. ® Garrison Nelson is a former professor of political science at the University of Vermont. He is currently at Brandeis University and the McCormack Institue.

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UN A FREE RIDE

Getting paid to ride a snowboard? Its a tough job, but somebody s got to do it.

David

Healv

onjure up the worst possible image of a professional snowboarder: cocky, goateed, a rude boy. Turn that image 180 degrees and you'll find St. Michaels College senior Randy Gaetano: modest, clean-cut, polite. True, the 23-year-old snowboarder has a sprig of hair under his lower lip, the requisite hoop in his ear and hints of colored highlights atop short brown hair. But for a guy who's a little like James Dean in Airwalks, Gaetano defies stereotypes, much as his demure demeanor belies a world of experience living out every snowboarder's dream. For the past five years, the Burlington-based boarder has traveled the globe as one of the sport's top professional "freeriders" — an athlete paid to use, and be seen in, the company gear (three years for Burton, the last two for Airwalk, to legitimize their board line). Duties include: riding the steep and deep in snowboarding movies; launching air and looking good for magazine photographers; and signing autographs for kids while spending over 150 days a year at some of the world's best - Randy mountain resorts. "I can't even explain it, it's just craziness," Gaetano says, a little sheepishly, of his good fortune in being able to snowboard for a living. "Its like being a rock star, I guess, getting paid to play music. It's hard to talk about because I still

can't believe it sometimes." Gaetano's real-life fantasy began, appropriately enough, at Magic Mountain, not far from the birthplace of snowboarding in Manchester, Vermont. After a succession of family moves landed him, unhappily, at a high school in New York State, he discovered salvation in the sport of snowboarding and a tight-knit group of riders that called themselves "the glebelands." Ten years ago Gaetano and his fellow . ing riders — including current Burton team manager Vince Lavecchia and noted snowboard photographer Shem

Snowboarding

was kind of

religious to us.

iw—took

on the glebelands moniker partly because Magic operates on Mt. Glebe, but mostly because of the Gaetano religious overtones of the word. In the Church of England, a "glebe" is a plot of land granted to a clergyman. "Snowboarding was kind of religious to us," Gaetano reflects. "It still is." With Olympic snowboarding medals on the line for the

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ROOM AND BOARD Randy Gaetano, senior shredder. first time this February in Gaetano, who's probably the Nagano, freeriders like Gaetano only art and English major ever and fellow Burlington pro Jay to save for a house while paying Rehbein are afraid the sport's his own way through college, soul is being sold, like induladmits to some mixed emotions gences before the Reformation. about the Games. "For snowNo less a luminary than Jake ; boarders who get in, I think its Burton Carpenter, the patron a real chance," he allows, noting saint of snowboarding, has his own childhood dream to be argued that the Olympics actua downhill skier in the ally threatens the spirit of the Olympics. "But as far as all the sport, largely because of a skiother shit that goes with it, I oriented bureaucracy run amok. hate to see what it's going to do Snowboarding's free-spirited to the sport." image, unlike skiing with its For his part, Gaetano's not competitive tradition, has hisplanning on joining the gold torically been driven by a rush, nor what he sees as the diverse cadre of pro freeriders exploitation of snowboarding doing their own thing for the by mainstream "jock sport" cameras, not for judges in orga- companies like Nike. Instead, nized competitions, explains he plans step back from the Christopher Novak of FUSE limelight, finish school — he integrated sports marketing. "It graduates next spring — and used to be you competed to get ride in Vermont. "I feel like I'm sponsored, so you could go going full circle right now," says freeride," he says. With the Gaetano, who first choose Saint clink of the first Olympic Michael's College to be near medals and visions of massfamily in Williston as well as media exposure in the air, the slopes of Stowe. "I'm kind Novak and others have witof getting back into riding for nessed a wholesale reduction in myself more." freerider support as resources After spending next summer flow to competitors in Olympic surfing in California, Gaetano's events. Continued on page 30

running professional and amateur snowboard tour

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led from page 29 Paris to live with id, and perhaps purwriting. "I migl be totally blowing my life and throwing it away," he says of the move and the forfeited earnings potential. "But its the way I feel. I never thought I'd be a professional snowboarder and I did get to be one, so I'm happy with that." Saint Michaels art professor Lance Richbourg isn't sure his student is quite finished creating with his snowboard, but if Gaetano should decide to devote himself to art, Richbourg sees at least some artistic carry-overfromthe boarding experience. "Because of his athletic experience, he's demonstrated a confidence in his ability," says Richbourg, who has mixed art with athletics in his own paintings and prints of baseball legends. "That high level of confidence is important for an athlete, T think, and it's important for an artist." Gaetano, who's known for his fluid riding style and everpresent sketch book, sees an even closer correlation between art and riding. "It's the same thing, pretty much," he ventures. "I like to just look at the terrain when I ride and interpret it, however I can, and just turn it into a creation, to react to it and do something with it." In both his art and his riding, Gaetano seems more

Gaetano's and love of music bass and trumpet his ability to lay down lines on a white canvas of powder dappled with green firs and rusty red rocks. It's not a coincidence, Richbourg points out, that Gaetano chose to illustrate the Beat author Jack Kerouac's The Dharma Bums for his English thesis. Like the two ebullient young men in the book searching for Truth the Zen way, Gaetano always seems to be in the process of searching for true meaning — and his next mountain to climb. "He could be an artist," Richbourg opines, "but Randy's got a lot of options." Whether Gaetano eventually chooses portraits over mountain faces remains to be seen. But perhaps he's more likely to follow the route of Cristo, the avant-garde artist known for decorating the outdoor environment in his creations. "It'd be cool if you could get funding to have dye come out of your board and do a design down a mountain," Gaetano muses aloud. Either way, Gaetano knows where to go for inspiration. (7)

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that none of them were abandoned at a prom, left in a toilet or shaken to death," and so far as I'm concerned he's the only one with a point. We're being deluged in a sea of sentimental propaganda that puts motherhood back at the top of the list of women's virtues and will have me 'twowing up — I mean it! I'm not kidding! ' if I hear the word "Ma-a-ahm" one - more time. :: The news of the \ * McCaugheys' "blessed miracle" came just tw<? days • before The New York Times Magazine, in an article that takes the cake for sheer irrelevance and contemporary scare-mongering, raised the alarm about a predicted decline in the world s population, certified by the United Nations and sharply contradicting the usual warnings that the population boom is ; out of control. Youd think! the fact that we re going to > 1 7.7 billion people e planet in the year 205 , instead of the previously estimated 9.4, would be the best news anyone's had all year. But no. What's that going to the economy? the wants to:%now; - * I *ll "Where will the money come from?" Who'll be consuming E$ if there aren't any con? And money's not all — no, indeed. "The West has been the driving force of i modern civilization," says the Times, solemn as hell, "inexorably pushing toward democratic values." And Nike factories. And Asian stock markets. "Will that continue when its share of the total population is only 11 percent? No one knows" So you see, girls, even the Gray Lady wants you to have babies for the state. "Young DINKS may be cute,* the Times intones ("Double Income, No Kids"), but "Old LINKS" — Low Income, No Kids — "may be tragic." And nothing is. sadder than a ~: funeral with no mourners: "Clergymen say that the saddest funerals are those in which the deceased has no , ot . Can you believe it? Me neither, if I may slip for a moment into Iowa argot; But' stick to your guns, ladies; ,. Don't be fooled, ber: The Corpoi

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OU'VE BEEN AD OR OOD shredding the documents, he switchboard is lighting up; m not taking any more calls. r ell, maybe from Larry King... — John Hiatt "Shredding the Document"

have been good this year. I have not had a run-in with the law, or even a single public scandal. I have neither plagiarized nor lied for personal gain. I didn't embezzle funds from my employer — though, since I'm self-employed, there's a good chance I wouldn't have gotten away with it. But that's just how good I have been. Not everyone can make these claims, of course, and as Christmas draws near those who cannot must begin to worry, I imagine — perhaps for the very first time since committing their particular crime or unsavory act. For, as everyone knows, ours has become a society in which no one any longer is to blame for their own actions. Blame: The very concept smacks of the antiquated. Blame is the soda-fountain egg cream of social contracts, a moral throwback right up there with evil and the work ethic. With ever greater predictability, people who once would have been banished from decent

hands full taking aspirin. Sure, the military has rules lots of people wouldn't want to live by. That's why most people don't join the military. When you did, you agreed to play by them. You didn't and you got caught. You lied about it and got caught again. Now you're whining on national TV because you've always wanted to fly planes that carry nuclear weapons. Lady, your priorities have been screwed up since day one. Lose the Amelia Earhart delusions, cut the crybaby crap, take some responsibility and enjoy that weekend a month with the National Guard. Maybe they'll let you fill weather balloons with some of that hot air.

Marv Albert: OK, I've listened attentively as you told your side of the story to Katie Couric and David Letterman. I tried to keep an open mind as you attempted to explain away or deny the bizarre allegations and shocking stories of deviant behavior. You've explained and explained and explained and, after careful consideration, I have only one thing to say: Kelly Flinn: Do me a favor: "Hey, Marvin Knock off this laughable media — don't get junket you've embarked upon your panties in a for in order to appear a blamebunch!" less victim. You're just making Give me a break: You were yourself look like a nutjob just going through a "curious when you attempt to sell us phase?" They weren't bite this song and dance about how marks, just "hickies?" All your you're simply a country-lovin' woes were the sad result of the gal who came under the spell of "poor judgment" you exercised a seductive Svengali. We've all on a few occasions? Gee, I seen the newsclip of the cretin guess you're the real victim you say took control of your here. What I'd like to know is mind. Correct me if I'm wrong, this: Just exactly when did we but this is a guy who has his

society for their misdeeds now find themselves the toast of it. The sort of behavior which not long ago would have resulted in a jail sentence now often lands lucrative movie deals, book contracts and a spot on Larry King — even if the perpetrator does go to jail first. Is no one watching? Yes, of course, someone is keeping track. Santa Claus is coming to town, and I can tell you there are people out there who have only a few days left in which to take back everything they've said on the record, to get their spiritual asses in gear and public acts together, or else. He's making his list. Checking it twice. And he doesn't need you to tell him whether you've been naughty or nice...

as a civilization decide that a person and that person's "judgments" — or desires or antisocial impulses — were two separate things? Whenever it was, that was the precise moment the concept of blame went out the window and commonsense social responsibility went down the toilet. Webb Hubbel: Have you caught this goomer's act? The floppy-lipped former Clinton Associate Attorney General is fresh out of jail and on the circuit to promote his new book, Friends in High Places. Convicted of all manner of financial misappropriation (i.e., stealing) the walrusy one-time First Pal now expects rightthinking Americans to believe him when he poopoos allegations concerning the President's involvement in Whitewater, claims they'll be good friends again one day, and that his personal troubles were the result of his getting caught up in a paralyzing "cycle" of greed, theft and denial. He claims he always intended to pay the money back someday but, like a gambler's compulsion or an addict's craving, this merciless and voracious "cycle" robbed him of his will, rendering him helpless. Uh-huh. Let's see...Bill's currently being investigated in the wake of how many criminal accusations? Oh, yeah, I'm sure he and Hillary will be having

Santa Claus is coming to town, and I can tell you there are people out there who have only a few days left in which to take back everything they've said on the record, to get their spiritual asses in gear and public acts together, or else.

this ex-con over for cocktails real soon. Jim Baker: The disgraced televangelist/sex-fiend? The devil made him do it, natch. Though something tells me the book tour and failed comeback attempt were his idea. Michael Jackson: The nearly 40-year-old weirdo has-been isn't interested in young boys; just in decorating his home with statues of them that would make Liberace blush. Here's a guy who has attempted to elevate denial itself into an art form, blaming allegations of sexual misconduct against him on everything from his lost boyhood to the dirty minds of his domestic staff and the litigiousness of the men and women whose children he keeps frolicking with in his bathtub. It's OK now, though, he wants us all to know, because he and make-believe wife #2 have produced a son, whose diapers he changed recently for the cameras of Life magazine. Never mind the fact that Mrs. Jacko lives more than 100 miles away from father and son. The main thing is, there's now at least one human being on the face of the Earth young and gullible enough to take what this loopy piece of melting plastic says seriously. Rick James: Remember "Superfreak?" The once influential recording artist is himself fresh out of the big house, where he did time for beating up a woman. Though he had Continued

on page 36

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early paintings in the first couhe ability of a curator to influence our response to an ple of rooms are nothing special, though they do reveal the artist's work is dramatically roots of a 40-year career. evident in the George Segal retThe dimensions of Segal's rospective on view at Montreal's achievement become slowly, Museum of Fine Arts. majestically apparent as the Pop art specialist Marco exhibit progresses through his Livingstone, guest curator of 1960s tableaux and crests with this show, has given Segal's life"Abraham's Farewell to size sculptures the space they Ishmael," a wrenching meditaneed to convey their emotional tion on betrayal and bereavepower. Shoehorning several of ment. these freestanding plaster casts The show's climax is perfectinto a few small rooms would ly orchestrated. Viewers are led have resulted in a very different into a long, semi-darkened — and much less affecting — room, at the distant end of exhibit. Segal's borderless works which stands "The Holocaust," derive much of their strength a final testament to the sculpfrom the emptiness that surtor's highly expressive hand and rounds them; arrange them too to his primary theme of silent, closely, and their individual isolated suffering. meanings can be ground down Livingstone has broken into a cartoon panel of zombiefrom chronological ordering so like figures. as to maximize the impact of As was also demonstrated in this work from 1982. This the Duane Hanson show he curator understands that a retcurated in 1994 at the same rospective should not necessarimuseum, Livingstone knows ly be a straight-ahead cataloguexactly how to display disturbing ing, but ought rather to have representations of the human the structure and pacing of a form. He gives viewers room to well-told story. reflect on each separate piece, Along the way, visitors are never letting provided with quantity superhelpful backc George Segrr, a sede quality. ground inforRetrospecti ve: The Segal mation, espeSculptures, show further cially via a Paintings, Drawings. benefits from its video that Museum o f F i n e Arts, organizer's sure includes an Montreal , Quebec. sense of timing. interview with Through January 11. The two dozen

Segal and shows one of his models being wrapped, face and all, in plaster strips. Inadvertently, perhaps, the exhibit highlights Segal's indebtedness to that other American master of urban alienation: Edward Hopper. A few sculptures from the '60s and '70s — "Cinema," "The Subway," "The Bar," "Girl Behind Chair and Bedpost" — look like three-dimensional versions of lost paintings by Hopper, so reminiscent are they of the vacant settings and lonely souls depicted on his canvases. But this derivative aspect of Segal's work does not significantly diminish his stature as an original artist of considerable integrity. Born in the Bronx and educated in Manhattan, the 73year-old Segal spent some formative years on his family's poultry farm in New Jersey. It was there, for instance, that he discovered the sculptural properties of chicken wire. The farm would also serve as the site for "happenings" staged by Segal and fellow avant-garde artists in the late '50s. But he was to remain stubbornly apart from the Abstract Expressionist movement that had swept away the New York art world during Segal's young adult years. Along with the pioneers of Pop, he reasserted a

oodbye to Ismael," by George Segal "Abraham's < commitment to figurative work — a courageous gesture at a time when most critics still believed that the human body had been exhausted as a subject of serious art. Segal was decidedly Modernist, however, in his depictions of lumpish, mummified, vulnerable figures — the aesthetic opposites of such Renaissance ideals as Donatello's "David." These are 20th-century creations, alright; no other age could have produced bodies so blanched and

hunched. The art world is now beginning to catch up with Segal, as witnessed by the chic preoccupation with the human form. Again, though, Segal stands separate from the dominant trend of the day. He's far too empathetic and unironic ever to qualify as a Post-Modernist. His is a singular talent, and the exhibit at the Fine Arts museum demonstrates how a curator can enhance the impression made by even the most accomplished artist. ®

LISTINGS

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OPENINGS O R D E R E D P R O G R E S S I O N S , abstract sculpture installation by Keith Wagner. The Men's Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Reception December 10, 6-9 p.m. P A T R I C K L E A H Y : P H O T O G R A P H S , images of Tibet, Vietnam and Central America. Also, IDEAL: Reformed Structural Relationships, an installation by Jeff Hatfield. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 865-7165. Reception December 10, 5-7 p.m. S H O P P I N G FOR S A L V A T I O N , a group art show in mixed media focusing on the essence of the holiday season. Compost Art Center, Hardwick, 472-9613. Reception December 12, 8 p.m. HO L I DAY C RA F T S A L E , ceramics by Claude Lehman and Kim Wilson. 214 Battery St., Burlington, 660-4792. December 12, 4-8 p.m.; December 13-14, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. SHADOWS AND L I GHT, watercolors by Sean Callahan. Yellow Dog Restaurant, Winooski, 655-1703. Reception December 13, 4-6 p.m. 40 Y E A R S O F P H O T O G R A P H Y , featuring an eclectic retrospective of photographs and books by Peter Miller. Peter Miller Gallery, Waterbury, 244-5339. Reception, book-signing and short film screening (The Greening of Vermont), December 14, 3-5, with guests Fred Tuttle and George Woodard. C O N V E R G E N C E , a BFA thesis exhibit by Heather Leigh Bushey. Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 635-1469. Reception December 16, 4-6 p.m. O N G O I N G _ S T U D I O SHOW AND S A L E of architectural hardwood toys by Karen Hewitt. Learning Materials Workshop, Burlington, 658-7477. } Through December 23. 7 L A N D S C A P E P A I N T I N G S by Laura Heiim Red Mill Gallery, R>

. Vermont Studio Center* Johnson, , 635-2727. Through December 13, V E R N I S S A G E 1 9 9 8 , featuring artwork in mixed media by 25 local and national artists during the next year.Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. __ Through December. , N O R T H E R N L I G H T S , Work by H

ABSTRACT THINKING Burlington painter Linda Jones has long drawn inspiration from dreams and visions, plying elemental shapes with earth-rich colors and gestural textures that suggest the intimate immediacy of fingerpaints. In her one-woman show currently at Rhombus Gallery, Jones composes painterly poetry with small works on paper. Above, "Untitled (Reveal)," 1997.

j i t l i u a i j f -T.

HOW I L E A R N E D T O REMEMBER, a BFA Thesis Mayer, and R E N D E R ME U S E L E S S , mixed-medi Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, [DAY SAMPLER, artwork in m

i 7 T H A N N U A L F E S T I V A L O F T H E CHRISTMAS theme by local artists. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. T N I G H T G A L L E R Y I N T H E P * S T ; photography by Claudia * FletcHer Free Library,Burlington, 863-3403. Through December. 1 9 9 7 T R A D I T I O N A L ; A R T S SHOWCASE, an annual show and sale of c o n t e m p t v | | S g regional folk artisans in mixed media. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through December 23.

n a ae

3 4

d e c e m b e r v 10 ,

1997

P A I N T I N G S AND P R I N T S by Phyllis Demong. Walter Cerf Gallery, Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through December. WATERCOLORS of nature by Betty Borah. Finale, S. Burlington, 862-0713. Through December 30. P A V E M E N T ENDS, mixed-media paintings by Joy Spontak. Also, PHOTOGRAPHS by Nelson. Daily Planet, 223-5624. Through December. COMBINED INFLUENCES, paintings by Cynthia Price. Claike Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Through December 23. A N O T H E R DREAM & R E C E N T P R O J E C T S , mixed-media by Orion Fredericks. Reading Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through January 24. P A I N T I N G S by Linda Jones. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 652-1103. Through December. T H E WARDROB E S E R I E S , mixed-media collage by Ann Lewis. Common Threads, Burlington, 865-7910. Through December. SEX AND D E A T H : O F F E R I N G S , .sculpture and drawings by Pavel Kraus, and "Detritus of Mating," a multimedia soundscape by composer [)ennis Bathory-Kitsz. Exquisite Corpse Artsite,

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The Girl W h o Dreamed Only Geese and Other Tales of the Far North IN BLACK AND WHITE Fred Tuttle is back — actually, he never left — in person and in prints. He and actor/filmmaker George Woodard are guests at Peter Miller Gallery in Waterbury this Saturday, when the Vermont photographer opens a 40-year retrospective of work, including his books Vermont People and People of the Great Plains, and prints from a book-in-progress, The First Time I Saw Paris. Left, "120 Years of Tuttles."

77 M A I N S T R H L i T • M O N T P L L I t R •

229-5899;. Ongoing. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in, out readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies m exceptions, will not be accepted. and private residences or studios, with occasional

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We have great Holiday Gifts! uary Burlington, 864-5884, ext S T U D E N T A R T SHOW featuring emerging and established artists in mixed media. Burlington College Community Room, 862-9616. Through December 15* _S S I ' ' "S O P H I E B ETTMAN N K E R S 0 N , works in marble, watercolor and oil pasta Main Street News, Montpelier, 223-5124. Through December, ' ; <- ' > / ' |r " A N N U A L H O L I D A Y SHOW & S A L E of art and craft in mixed media. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 773-4401. Through January 4. C I B A C H R O M E P H O T O G R A P H S , reflections, windows, landscapes and floral work by Debra Steinfeld. Dickersons, Shelburne, 985-3446. Through December. , /. E L D E R A R T , a group show in mixed media. Senior Center at Lincoln Hall, Essex jet., 658-7454. Also at Heineberg Senior Center, Milton Public Library and Winooski City Hall. Through January 2. IN T O SCAN A, featuring ceramics, charcoal portraits and landscapes by Susan Raber Bray,: inspired by a stay in Italy. McAuley Fine Arts Gallery, Trinity College, Burlington, 6 5 8 - 0 3 3 7 . " Through December 12. NVAA A N N U A L H O L I D A Y A R T SHOW AND S A L E , featuring the works in mixedmedia of icity in 18thmembers. Old Red Mill Craft Shop, Jericho, 899-1106. Through December 28. I N T I M A T E E N C O U N T E R S , a survey of genre paintings featuring love and dom century France. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H.,'603-646-3646. Through January 4. B I L L D A V I SON P R I N T S , recent work from the University of Vermont art professor. Farrell Room, St. Edmunds Hall, St. Michaels College, 654-2000. Through December, 1 GEORGE S E G A L , featuring 20 monumental sculptures by the American pop artist. Museum of Fine Arts, Montreal, 514-285-1600. Through January XI. (See review this issue.) 1 DRAWING T R A N S F I G U R E D : WORKS OH P A P E R FROM T H E L U D W I G C O L L E C T I O N S 1 9 6 0 s - 1 9 7 0 s , a n exhibit of works by 20 leading American, European and Russian artists. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through December 14. DUCK STAMP P R I N T S A N D DUCK D E C O Y S , late 19th tomid-20th century, from the Elliott Averetr Collection. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through December 21. THOMAS WATERMAN WOOD: A C E N T E N N I A L C E L E B R A T I O N , featuring paintings by the 19th-century Vermont artist. T.W. Wood Gallery, Montpelier, 828-8743. through December 20. VERMONT P E O P L E / P E O P L E OF T H E G R E A T P L A I N S , featuring black-and-white phoi u n DPeter A T U TMiller T U C C Gallery, L tographs Waterbury, F U R N I S by H I NPeter G S Miller. - w - . -244-5339. j u:iiOngoing. \a

BGDKS

A slide show of the book's spectacular artwork by Leo & Diane Dillon will follow

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P ^ e

3-5

December 31, 1997*Downtown Burlington* 2-Midnight

Continued from page 32

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years to think about what he did, James evidently has not learned his lesson. 1 saw him recently on "The Geraldo Rivera Show" offering his defense: It wasn't his fault; the lady was a tramp. And it goes on and on. Jackson Brown never punched Darryl Hannah. Al Gore never made those calls. Mike Tyson bit his opponent's ear off as a result of a deprived childhood. Louise Woodward murdered a helpless baby, but, hey, she was having a hard day. O.J. is hot on the trail of the real killers, and everyone in Hollywood with a substance problem is really just addicted to prescription pain killers. You irresponsible Beverly Hills doc-

The sort of behavior not long ago in a •

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tors — stop enslaving America's most beloved enter- : ners to these evil medicans! Its all your fault. And mprove your handwriting! Yes, its beginning to look a lot like Christmas. And it's L - ^inning to look like a lot of iris will wake up on 25, to ffndjiothing a piece of coal in their stockings. The sad thing is, they probably won't mind much. All they want for Christmas is a high-powered lawyer, a spin doctor and a line of BS with which to bamboozle the public and blame their troubles on someone else. Only a few shopping days left. Of course, those things can be purchased any hour of any day all year long if one can.afford them. The problem is, in the end it's really everyone else who pays. So be good, for goodness' sake. And if you can't, at least be honest about it. Epilogue: Somewhere, any minute now, Barry Scheck's phone is about to ring. He will pick up the receiver and a voice will say, "Hello, I have a collect call from a Theodore nski. Will you accept 5 charges?" (7)

Wed. thru Fri.

decem'be r'- 1 0 ,

199

THE HOYIS CINEMAS

FILM QUIZ

Review

HOME ALONE 3* > ' ' T h i s Is what happens when a talented guy \ runs out of ideas but soil has a contractual > obligation to crank outfilms.He repeats htm- self. He steals from-himself; He kids himself.! •' And nobody in show business is better at these things than John Hughes! . , ;; , A long time ago ia a mindset far away, Hughes made a handful of smart, funny, sue-' cestui , movies, like Ferris BueUers Day O f f , Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club. Then, in 1990, he struck it rich with a comedy about, j, a kid who gets left behind when his family leaves on vacation and winds up having to , , defend his home against the advances of two THE YOUNG AND THE WITLESS Hughes mums to bumbling crooks. Home Alone made'box-office history while making a starof Macaulay Cutkin. scene of his greatest success but, this time around, The picture ranks as the higjbest-grossyig come- there's nobody home. - dy of all dine. j 1]1| || j§ I |g§| | g | | | Coincidentally, that was Just about the time the suddenly rich .and powerful writer/producer/director ran out of gas artistically and* in a sad attempt to conceal that fact as long as possible, what Hughes Mowed up with was a string offilmsthat were all more or less transparent variations on one another. The distinctions between,

the^m

say. Home Alone 2. Uncle Buck. Curly Sue, Dutch and Baby's Day Out are far outnumbered by the story elements,

III plot devices, characters and themes they shared. What Hughes could not conceal was the fact that fewer and -, V fewer people were buying tickets to his films./ '- . ' '' So what did the master of cinematic recycling do? Two things, marvelously in keeping with his compulsive need for repetition: First, he signed a deal with Disney whereby he gets to write live-action updates of numerous Studio classics {101 Dalmatians, Flubber); second, he attempted to coast on his Home Mont laurels yet again with ' a tired, tedious third installment. . , The laces are new, but the jokes are old in Homi Alone 3. Eight-year-old Alex D. Linz takes over for the mfinitely more charismatic Cullon in this predictable, preposterous story of a kid who stays home from school with the chicken pox and ends up having to defend the place against four international criminals in search tc~ secret computer chip hidden in a toycar, which has accidentally would up in the child* possession, As o\ '

Believability is thrown out the window early on, and Hughes basically just drags out the kid-sets-Rube' Goldberg-style-trapTor-the-bad-guys motif to the point of absurdity. The second half of the. picture is little more than an uninterrupted series of these, and, while in die first film they seemed charming and full of fun, they now come off as gimmicks designed to get cheap laughs. -, Its mindlessly broad. It's slapstick. It's a cynical rehash of the first movie. But worse, it's just the beginning. Hughes envisions a whole new series featuring the totally revamped cast. Don t let him get away with this! If we dont put a stop to this here and now, there will be no end to the recycling: Ferris Buellers Retirement Day, Grandpa Bu , Fifty-five Candles, Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Buses, Boats and Bicycles! He's got to be stopped. And lord knows John Hughes is powerless to stop himself.

MAKING FACES Time once again for our famous facial amalgam in which we fuse portions of two well-known personalities into one complete stranger... FAMOUS FACE A FAMOUS FACE B Don't

forget to watch

"The Good.

The Bad & The

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS

.'" on your local previewguide

channel

LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS:

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1. MAD CITY 2. BEAN 3. SHE'S SO LOVELY 4. A LIFE LESS ORDINARY 5. DEVIL'S ADVOCATE 6. MOST WANTED 7. THE PEACEMAKER 8. KICKED IN THE HEAD DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK

SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495 FAX: 658-3929 BE SURE TO I N C L U D E Y O U R A D D R E S S . P L E A S E A L L O W 4-6 WEEKS F O R D E L I V E R Y O F P R I Z E S .

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S C R E A M 2 Wes Craven directs the sequel to his shockingly successful nouveau horror hit. Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and Jada Pinkett are damsels in distress. FOR RICHER OR POORER Just in time for Oscar consideration: The latest comedy from Tim Allen in which he and Kirstie Alley play real estate hustlers who evade the IRS by posing as an Amish couple. Bryan (McHak'sNavy) directs. A M I D W I F E ' S T A L E Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning book by Laurel Ulrich, Richard Rogers' new film explores the stories of two women — a midwife who lived in Maine 200 years ago and the modern-day writer who discovers the diary she left behind. AS GOOD AS IT ^ITS.Jack Nicholson stars as a romance novelist who enters into an unlikely IX>xxtfiu% .with cofte,|h~**—•» I.'— 1_-.__.J~ J.—— - N* — director James L. %oo

SHORTS ALIEN RESURRECTION**

The fourth installment in the deteriorating series is a muddled mess, only occasionally redeemed by director Jean-Pierre Jeunets knack for wacky effects and set design. -. With SigourneyWeaver and Winona Ryder. THE ICE Si 0 RM**** Ang Lees follow-up to the Oscar-winning Seme and Sensibility has been racking up honors of its own on the film festival circuit. Kevin Kline, Sigourney Weaver and Joan Allen head an ensemble cast in this literate look at the impact of the '60s sexual revolution on several suburban couples in the 70s. Based on the novel by Rick Moody. F L U B B E R ( N R ) Robin Williams stars in the John Hughes-scripted update of 1 %l s The Absent, Minded Professor. Les Mayfield directs. Marcia Gay Harden and Christopher McDonald co-star. M I D N I G H T I N T H E GARDEN OF GOOD AND E V I L ( N R ) Clint Eastwood directs this adaptation of John Berendt's best-selling saga of murder and madness in Savannah, Georgia, kevin Spacey stars as an antiques dealer accused of shooting his lover. Also featuring John Cusack, Jack Thompson and Clint's daughter, Alison Eastwood. TH E J AC KAL** My this doesn't look very promising. Bruce Willis stars in director Michael Caton-Jones' new action thriller about a professional assassin and the good guy (Richard Gere) who goes after him. The title alludes to the great 1973 film by Fred Zinnemann, The Day of the jackal, despite the fact that the new movie otherwise has nothing to do with it. A N A S T A S I A ( N R ) From famed animators Don Bluth and Gary Goldman comes this $50 million musical about a young woman who claims to be the long-lost Romanov princess. Featuring the voices of Meg Ryan, John Cusack and Christopher Lloyd. (See story this issue.)

LuKUt'iO(4< S I L V E R CINEMAS ETHAN A L L E N 4

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North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Excess Baggage 11:45, 1:35, 6:45. Playing God 3, 9:25. Red Corner 3:30, 9. Hercules 12:45, 7:30. Air Bud 11:15, 5. Peacemaker 1, 7, 9:45. Men in Black 11:30, 1:20, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:10. George of the Jungle 11, 5:30. Al! shows Sat. & Sun. Evening shows daily.

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150 Dorses Street, South Burlington"* 863-2569 ( d e c e m b e r ;

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SHOWTIMCS FILMS RUN FRIDAY, DEC 12. T H R O U G H THURSDAY, DEC. 18.

S i l k y Eye

NINE

Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 Scream 2* 12:40, 1:10, 3:20, 3:50, 6, 7, 8:40, 9:40, 11 (not Sun.-Thu.). For Richer or Poorer* 12:30, 3:35, 6:45, 9:25. As Good As It Gets* 7:30 (Sat. only). Home Alone 3 11:20, 1:40, 4:20, 6:50, 9:15. Flubber 11,11:45,1:15, 2, 3:40, 4:15, 6:35, 8:45. Anastasia 11:30, 1:45, 4, 7:15 (not Wed.), 9:20 (9:50 Wed.). Rainmaker 12:20, 3:30, 6:30 (not Sat.), 9:30, (9:55 Sat.). The Jackal 6:55, 9:55. All shows daily unless otherwise noted.

, SEVEN

DAYS

UD S H O W C A S E C I N E M A S 5 Wiiliston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. Scream 2* 12:50, 1:20, 3:30, 4, 6:40, 7:20, 9:20, 9:40. Home Alone 3 12:15, 2:30, 4:40, 7:10, 9:25. Flubber 12:30, 2:40, 4:50, 7, 9:30. Alien Resurrection 12:40, 3:45, 6:50, 9:35. All shows Sat. & Sun. Evening shows daily.

H—I O

N I C K E L O D E O N C I N E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515.

Starship Troopers 9:10. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil 12, 3:10, 6:30, 9:40. Anastasia 12:10, 2:15, 4:30, 7. The Ice Storm 12:40, 3:40, 7:20, 10. T h e Rainmaker 12:30, 3:30, 6:45, 9:50. Boogie Nights 11:50, 3, 6:20, 9:30. The Full Monty 12:20, 2:30, 4:40, 7:10, 9:20. All shows daily.

THE

SAVOY

Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. A Midwifes Tale* 2 (Sat., Sun. only), 6:30, 8:30. * New this week. Movie times subject to change. Please call the theater to confirm.

page

Classifieds announcements TAX ACCOUNTANT S O U G H T by massage therapist for exchange of services. I would like advice and assistance in filing current & past returns. 425-4557.

real estate G O V T FORECLOSED HOMES from pennies on $1. Delinquent tax, repo's, REO s. Your area. Tollfree, 1-800-218-9000, Ext. H-6908 for current listings.

office/studio space SEEKING T W O W H O L I S T I C practitioner members for our Healing Center collective. $150/mo., includes utils. Private sessions or classes. Convenient, downtown location, lake view, Burlington. Call 865-2756 ext. 5.

looking to rent/sublet SEEKING O N E HIP AND spiritually evolved landlord. Wholistic health practitioner needs safe home for flotation tank and self. Call Chris, 862-7595 (days) or 879-3694 (eves.) LOOKING FOR WINTER SUBLET—Jan. &c Feb. Completing part of Masters program in Burlington. Want twentysomething, fun, respectful housemates. Prefer Burlington area. Oh yeah, and cheap, too. Call Kelly, (617) 729-3011.

housemates wanted BURLINGTON: Female, 24, with cat looking for neat, friendly, down-to-earth roommate to share my cozy, small apt. in town. $297.50/mo., includes all. 860-7279. BURLINGTON: 2 rooms available in house close to UVM—off-street parking. $270/mo. + utils. + dep. Call 862-7189. BURLINGTON: Female wanted to share 4-bdrm. house. No smoking or pets. Next to lake & bike path, gas heat, private beach. Cheap rent. Must see! Please call 862-5509. BURLINGTON: Housemate wanted to share 3-bdrm. apt. on So. Union St., 2nd floor, screened in porch, walk to downtown, $250/mo. + utils. Call 651-0876. BURLINGTON: Need a subletter for room in 5-bdrm. house or two people for 2-bdrm. apt. $250/mo. Avail Dec. 21. 660-8442.

BURLINGTON: 2-bdrm, downtown, W/D, storage, porch, yard and cat. Open-minded only with smoking tolerance. Avail. Jan. 1. Good, cheap living—$225/mo. + 1/2 utils. 860-6651. BURLINGTON: Pearl St., great location, close to UVM & downtown. 1-bdrm. avail, in 5-bdrm house. $310/mo. + utils. Call Gina, 859-9954. COLCHESTER: Housemate wanted. Large, cool house—fireplace, parking, 10 minutes from Burlington. Share with woman teacher/writer & 10-year old son. $350/mo. Call 865-9257. ESSEX J U N C T I O N : Mature person to share beautiful townhouse. Own room and bath; share common areas. $350/mo. + 1/2 utils. 878-4804. FERRISBURGH: Lots of space and charm, 2 baths, large kitchen, plenty of storage, great views and a great value. Two rooms avail. $300/mo. + utils. 877-3777. MALLETTS BAY: Quiet, responsible prof, or grad student, NS, to share very nice, 2-bdrm. condo. Great location, no pets, low utils. $325/mo. + 1/2 utils. 879-0327. M O N K T O N : Housemate to share 3-bedroom house on 55 acres. Ski trails outside front door, wood heat, W/D, private and lots of space. Sorry, no more animals. Nonsmoking vegeterian preferred. $330/mo. + utils. 425-5017. R I C H M O N D : Female wanted for 2 -bdrm duplex, 1 1/2 baths, W/D, garage, yard, nice neighborhood, 15-mins. to Burlington. Pets negotiable. Avail. Jan. 1. $338/mo. + cheap utils. 434-4082. SHELBURNE: Housemate to share 4-bdrm. house. Seeking mature, responsible prof, to share our lovely home in private residential neighborhood. Hiking, X-C skiing trails nearby, 12 mins. to medical center (FAHC) and UVM, 20 mins. to St. Michael's College. Convenient for graduate or medical student. $550/mo., utils. included. Separate telephone line avail. Avail. 12/1. Please contact Kay, 769-7869 (days), leave msg.

housesitting NEED SOMEONE T O WATCH your house while you're away? A former VT family needs a housesitting or rental between Christmas (Dec. 27 or so) to Jan. 2. We'll take care of your plants and pets and clean your house! Great references. If you want to trade for a place in Washington, D.C. (in winter or summer), we can talk about that, too. Call Meg, 301-585-8671 or email megd@dgsys.com

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buy this stuff W O L F F TANNING BEDS TAN AT H O M E

Buy DIRECT and SAVE! Commercial/Home units from $199.00

Low Monthly Payments FREE Color Catalog CALL TODAY 1-800-842-1310 FANTASTIC, INEXPENSIVE HOLIDAY GIFT! Unique fish (Phish) wooden puzzle key chains. Perfect for stocking stuffers. Dipped in holy Went water. A great little gift. Call 863-6313. MACOMBER LOOM 12 HARNESS. 48" wide with sectional beam; includes many extras. Cost over $4,000 new. A great deal at $2,000! Call 802-253-4363. MAKE YOUR OWN WINE! Homebrewed beer and soft drinks, too w/ equipment, recipes, & friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. 147 E. Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070.

BAKER WANTED: Organic dog biscuit company moving to Charlotte looking for a baker approx. 20-25 hrs./week. Fun, laidback atmosphere. Free biscuits for your pooch. 496-7297. DRIVER'S WANTED! Excellent income potential. Cash on nightly basis. Full/part-time positions available. Menus on the Move, 863-6325. If no answer, leave msg. PART-TIME HOSTESS AND dishwasher wanted. Experience preferred, but will train. Flexible scheduling necessary, weekends a must, available New Year's Eve mandatory. Interested applicants please apply in person at Golden Dragon, 144 Church St., Burlington. WAITSTAFF—FULL OR PARTtime. Experience preferred, flexible scheduling avail., patience required. Interested applicants please apply in person at Golden Dragon, 144 Church St., Burlington. WAITSTAFF, PREP COOK, BARTENDER needed at new bar/restaurant. Apply at 136 Church St., 9 a.m. - 7 p.m.

housekeeping TIRED T O DEATH OF EVERYTHING? Go ahead, take a nice long nap. We'll do the chores. Call Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 658-7458. "Somebody's been picking up the mess, and it sure hasn't been me."—Humpty Dumpty.

PET PORTRAITS: Drawings of any animal from photos. Prices from $50. For information, call Sue after 7 p.m., 865-2684.

automotive 1987 TOYOTA 2-WD PICK-UP, X-cab, long-bed, snow tires, auto, low mileage, great condition. $3,200 o.b.o. Call 223-7983. SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, BMW's, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4WD's. Your area. 1-800-218-9000 Ext. A-6908 for current listings.

carpentry REPAIRS, RENOVATIONS, PAINTING, consultations, decks, windows, doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured & references. Chris Hannah, 865-9813.

help wanted ARCHITECT OPENING IN small firm specializing in artistic, functional design of substantial residential/light commercial projects. Manual drafting expertise and knowledge of above building type construction required. Submit cover letter, resume and examples of above abilities to GKW Working Design, P.O. Box 1214, Stowe, VT 05672.

3WK. E Work 8:15 to 5.30 (1142)

business opportunity

SHELBURNE to T A F r COR-

IS THIS YOU YEAR? 1960—You are offered a chance to position yourself with a co. dealing w/ burgers, fries & "golden arches." You laugh. 1998—$215 billion electricity market will be deregulated; wealth will be redistributed! It's up for grabs through our co. Call (802) 899-5470.

A ride M-h Work trom /:.-JU to 5:30.(1619)

FENDER BASSMAN speaker cabinet—4x12" speakers, deep enclosure, $175. 658-1984. FOR SALE: 2 API 550-B, $450 each. 1 Dawmer dual expander compressor, $250. 2 Hardy M1 pr amps, $200 each. 1 Dawmer dual gate, $350. 1 Roland A-8 weighted Midi controller (mint), $1,400. 985-8255.

BURLINGTON to NORTH AVE., BURLINGTON. Need a ride to work. Work from 8:00 to 2:30. (2105) BURLINGTON to MONTPELIER. I see- all those t a n with one person during my commute, Would someone like to share the ride and use half the gas? I work in State St., usually 8:30 or 9 to about 5 p.m. Hey, lets try it a few days a week (2705) BURLINGTON to UNDERH1LL CTR. I need rides from New North End or anywhere on the bu$j>y»*.rQ to a new job in

T H E EXCHANGE—New CDs under $10, used CDs a low as $3. Send $1 and SASE for current list or your requests. Always buying used CDs. The Exchange, 33 Couch St., Plattsburgh, NY 12901. SEEKING MUSICIANS W H O think it's cool that pop music with horns is back. Want to play ska, Squirrel Nut Zippers, '70s brass pop, '60s R&B and originals? Call Craig, 660-8209.

irkday, M-F.

the driving. <2749) MILTON to bird. Looking for a ride with someone who works similar shift at nearby location. M-F, 7 sun. to 3 p.m. WINOOSKI to SO TON, Krupp Dr. Got a new job there. Anyone willing to offer - tides? I'll walk several blocks and I can take the bus from downtown Burlington or Essex. Will pay for rides. (2734} BARRE/BERL1N to BURLINGTON. I'm an early bird. Need to be to work on Pine St. by 6:30 a.m. and I get out at 3 p.m. Can meet you in Berlin P/R if more convenient than Barre. (2200) SEARS AREA to WATERBURY. Long time cajpooler needs some new pool members. Works ar state building, approx. 7:30 a.m. 4 p . m . Leave Sears ar 6:45 a.m. (1149)

864-CCTA

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MAPLE ST. GUITAR REPAIR. Professional repairs, customizing and restorations of all fretted instruments. $$$ paid for broken guitars. Located in Advance Music building, 75 Maple St., Burlington. 862-5521. FOLK MUSICIANS WANTED for our 4th Annual Folk Series. Tuesday and Friday dates. Call Three Mountain Lodge, 644-5736

1 Join the coolest resort team in Vermont! I

SiWianbush Resort We would love to have you come to one of our 1997-98 season J o b F a i P S !

Wednesday, December 10th 5pm-7:30pm All job fairs will be held at the

Sugarbush Conference Center on German Rats Road across from the Sugarbush Inn. Call 802-583-2386, ext. 400 for more information. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

JOI aown your au, inciuae a

Classifieds, P.O. Bn 1164, Burl ir

Or call 864-5684.

P'llt,-.,

A M A N N E E D O N L Y BE S T R O N G E N O U G H 10 C A R R Y H I S L O V E R TO B E D

WANTED: MUSICAL ACTS for recording/touring in 1998. Rush demo and/or CD and any promo materials ASAP for prompt consideration. No front-end fees. Call (212) 629-1824. POKER HILL 24-TRACK RECORDING. Quality, pleasant, Midi, Mac, keys, drums, effects, automation, CDs, demos. 899-4263. THE KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE Tired of getting busted for the noise complaints? Need a practice space to play loud 24 hrs./day? The Kennel Rehearsal Space can help! Rooms by hr./wk./mo. Appointments only. Call 660-2880. UVM CATS' MEOW FOR HIRE. Burlington's only female a cappella group available to perform for functions, private parties, conventions, etc. Call Monika, 658-1676. BEFORE YOU SIGN—contact an experienced entertainment lawyer. All forms of legal protection for the creative artist. Sandra Paritz, attorney, 802-426-3950. ORIGINAL GARAGE POWERPOP band looking for drummer who is like Ringo in style and attitude. Must be hip to Dale, Wilson, McGuinn, Pebbles. 864-0148. GUITAR FOR SALE: GIBSON ES 330, late '60s, modified w/ humbuckers & varitone switch, hardshell case, $850. Call 658-1984. AD ASTRA RECORDING. Relax. Record. Get the tracks. Make a demo. Make a record. Quality is high. Rates are low. State-of-the-art equipment & a big deck w/ great views. 802-872-8583.

music instruction GUITAR INSTRUCTION: All styles, any level. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship & personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo). 862-7696. GUITAR LESSONS: All age levels & styles. Reasonable rates. B.A. in music, 5 years teaching exp. Call Josh Stacy, 658-1896.

fitness training PERSONAL TRAINERS ARE NOT JUST FOR MOVIE STARS! We all want to be in good shape. Get yourself motivated with inhome training sessions. Julie Trottier, ACE certified personal fitness trainer. 878-2632. $25/hour.

massage EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE MASSAGE! Treat yourself or a friend to the incredible relaxation & effectiveness of exquisite oriental massage with JinShin Acupressure. Assists in stress relief, injury recovery and renewed vitality. Fantastic gift! Gift certificates available. $5.00 discount with ad. Call Acupressure Massage of Burlington, J. Watkins, 425-4279. TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep therapeutic massage. Reg. session: $40. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029. THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE. Swedish Esalen Body Work. Reg. 75 min. session - $30. Office close to downtown Burlington. Call Mary Clark, 657-2516.

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE: Swedish Esalen Body Work. Special intro rate. Gift certificates available. Call Karen Ross, 657-2573.

in the following locations, except automobiles displaying speaal handicapped license plate issued pursuant to 18 V S A 1325, or any amendment orrenumberingthereof;

CITY OF BURLINGTON TRAFFIC REGULATIONS The following items arc hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of Burlington's Code of Ordinances, Appendix C Traffic Regulations.

SHIATSU/SWEDISH MASSAGE with Lara Sobel, licensed Massage Therapist. Helps circulation, aids digestion, supports immune system and relieves stress. Green Mountain Massage, 657-2519 or 223-3689.

(474) On the north side oflnsritute Road beginning from North Ave, and extending west to the entrance of North Rearf. [Reserved]

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Sec 7. No Parking Areas. at any time

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Adopted the 3rd day of December, 1997 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners. Attest Frederick B. Matthews Engineering Division Adopted 12/3/97; Published 12/10/97; Effective 12/31/97 Material in [Brackets] ddete. Material underlined add.

WuneH JU real! to experience the le-stomach kind of love ..True, riveting journa entries, id provide lots of amusing stories v '« which you could

Adopted 12/3/97; Published 12/10/97; Effective 12/31/97

Sec 11. One-Hour Parking. (a) No person shall park any vehicle longer than one (1) hour, between the hours of 8 a.m. and 6 p.m., Sunday and holidays excepte d in the following locations:

Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add.

(9) In the second ?ndth»d spare? wuth <?f Maple Street on the east side of South Champlain Street.

Sec 9. Fifteen-Minute Parking.

(b) through (c) As Written.

(a) No person shall park any vehicle longer than fifteen (15) minutes, between the hours of 8 a.m. and 10 p.m., Sundays and holidays excepted, in the following areas:

Adopted the 3nd day of December, 1997 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners.

(32) [In the parking space in front of No. 55 North Avenue.] Reserved

Sec. 9. Fifteen-minute Parking.

(33) through (123) As Written.

(a) No person shall park any vehicle longer than fifteen (15) minutes, between the hours of 8 a.m. and 10 p.m., Sundays and holidays excepted, in thefollowingareas:

(1M8) As Written.

The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of Burlington's Code of Ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

Attest Frederick Matthews Engineering Division

(1) through (31) As Written.

Adopted 12/3/97; Published 12/10/97; Effective 12/31/97 Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add

(b) As Written. Adopted the 3rd day of December, 1997 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners.

The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of BuHingtons Code of Ordinances, Appendix G Traffic Regulations.

Attest Frederick Matthews Engineering Division

(1) through (89) As Written. (90) [In the paiking space infrontof No. 128 Park Street.! Repealed (91) through (123) As Written.

Sec 7A. Handicapped Space Designated.

Adopted 12/3/97; Published 12/10/97; Effective 12/31/97

pason shall pa& any \ehicle at ^ rime intafcllcw^locarioiis,oaiptauDonxibilesdispt^rig special handicapped license plates issued pursuant ID 18 V S A 1325, or any amendment or renumbering thereof

Material in [Brackets] ddete. Material underlined add.

(b) As Written.

Attest Frederick Matthews Engineering Division Adopted 12/3/97; Published 12/10/97; Effective 12/31/97

The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of Buringtons Code of Ordinanoes, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

OH'19) As Written. (120) In the space in front of 47 Maple Street. Adopted the 3rd day of December; 1997 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners.

Sec 7A. Handicapped Space Designated. No person shall park any time in the following locations, except automobiles displaying special handicapped lioense plates issued pursuant to 18 V.SA 1325, or any amendment or renumbering thereof

Material in [Brackets] delete. Material undeHined add

( l H l 18) As Written.

Attest Frederick Matthews Traffic Engineering Adopted 12/3/97; Published 12/10/97; Effective 12/31/97 Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add

(2U119) In the space in front of 156 fork Adopted the 3rd day of December, 1997 by

astrology BY ROB BREZSNY**

your friends. But all in all I'd bet you'd prefer the feathery-strokes-behindyour-knee love, or the hair-rising-onthe-back-of-your-neck love, or the boost-your-IQ love. If I'm right about this, Gemini, you should make a small adjustment in your romantic attitude within 48 hours of reading this. That'll prevent you from becoming a magnet for the punch-in-the-stomach stuff.

CANCCR (June 21-July 22): I know a 70-year-old Cancerian man named Benjamin who every summer grows hundreds of tomatoes in his garden even though he himself is allergic to them. "Why? Because he loves to give them away to everyone in the neighborhood. You may wonder why he doesn't choose to raise a vegetable that he could donate to others and enjoy himself. That's a good question. In the weeks and months ahead, I hope you'll make a similar inquiry into your own approach to gift-giving. All too often, in my opinion, it resembles Benjamins. And I devoutly wish you

other hand, Leo, need no preconditions at all in order to be creative these days. Even if you were surrounded by singing plastic snowmen in a schlocky shopping mall, you could conjure up highly original notions about anything you set your mind to. So just think what acts of sublime genius you'll be capable of if you manage to root yourself in your power spot now and then.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your life is a sacred journey, Virgo. Let me say that again, louder this time. YOUR LIFE IS A SACRED JOURNEY. I don't care how bogged down in senseless trivia you might feel, or how entranced you seem to be by the ordeal of mere survival. The truth is that every day you're given glimmers of the glory that is your birthright; every day God communicates to you with intimate and unmistakable signs. Are you brave and innocent enough to recognize them? "There are only two ways to live your life," Albert Einstein said. "One is as though nothing is a ing

(Sept, 23-Oct, 22): In lem not too Jong ago, the ' ; parents of a deceased Jewish boy gave his heart to be transplanted into the chest of a sick Arab girl. As symbolic unions go, you can't get more concrete that. I believe, Libra, that you ive the potential to pull off an equally dramatic act of conciliation — and without having to be motivated by the extremity of the Jewish boy and

>ns lltilfilfill juices to flow. The Geman able to write only if'there if h e had an apple rotting in his desk

lose my ce iodically at the unicorn pinata

similar fantasies, go hide in your room j till it all blows over. You have only a few more days' worth of karma to work off before you'll be given a clean j bill of spiritual health.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): As I trust you've surmised by now, 1997 has not been a good year for getting away with half-truths, reckless stunts, and rascally tricks. You've no doubt been caught any time you've stolen things you could have had free for the asking. Punishment has probably followed swiftly whenever you've tried to lie to yourself or work at crosspurposes to your highest good. That's the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you'll have far more slack in the coming 12 months. Your first glimpse of that promise will arrive this week. Could 1998 really be the year of the Karma Chameleon?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec 21): Get ready to welcome in the Winter of Silly Magic, Sagittarius. I'm your host, Rob Brezsny, and during the next 13 weeks I hope to overstimulate your imagination and convince you that all you have to do to achieve the impossible is attempt the absurd. But first, let me ask you this. W h e n people say "be yourself,1 which self do they mean? Hint: Stay tuned to the Winter of Silly Magic, and you'll find out beyond a cool shadow of a d o u b t .. \ \ 1 CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): If you're tempted to kiss a rattlesnake anytime this week, try tofindo n e that's frozen or defanged. If you feel driven to leap up on a restaurant table and howl the saddest songs you know, pay off the manager ahead of time so he won't call the cops on you. Better :f

wmm.

The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City ofBurlingtons Code of Ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

Sec. 7A. Handicapped Space Designated.

ARICS

TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): For your entire adult life, Taurus, you've had a resemblance to that behemoth of a cruise ship, the Queen Elizabeth II. Just as it requires five miles of open sea in order to make a turn, you too cannot be easily or quickly derailed from your inexorable course. I've observed, however, that the events of 1997 have made you more maneuverable if the Queen mysteriously acquired the ability to hang amer miles. ( s, Taurus. get out

(116) through (118) As Written. Adopted the 3rd day of December, 1997 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners.

The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the Gty of Burlington's Code of Ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

11-17

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Is the cosmos a great soulless machine? Is it a product of blind forces which just happen, through a prodigious number of stupendous accidents, to have conjured up the infinite web of miracles that surrounds us for billions of light years in every direction? Or is it more likely that the cosmos is the soulful "body" of a vast intelligence that lovingly micromanages every intricate detail of its unfoldment — an intelligence too colossal for our tiny brains to perceive, let alone conceive? I'm sure you can guess my answer to that question. But I'd prefer to let you come up with your own. And there's no better time to do that than now. You're scheduled to catch a glimpse of the biggest picture you've ever been privileged to behold.

Material in [Brackets] delete. Material underlined add.

The following items are hereby enacted by the Public Works Commission as amendments to the City of Burlington's Code of Ordinances, Appendix C, Traffic Regulations.

No person shall park any vehicle at any time

December

(115) [The space infrontof 25 Lyman Avenue]. Repealed

Attest Frederick Matthews Traffic Engineering

(1M473) As Written

Adopted the 3rd day of December, 1997 by the Board of Public Works Commissioners.

sports/entertainment

Adopted 12/3/97; Published 12/10/97; Effective 12/31/97

(1H114) As Written.

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No person shall park any in diefollowinglocations.

the Board of Public Works Commissioners. Attest Frederick Matthews Engineering Division

— ' a g«„,.,, i t a -t e d by these, WWor KMSK

AQUARIUS

(Jan.20-Feb. 18): Aquarian comedienne Brett Butler once defined obsession as "scrambling j around the bushes of a married mans house after midnight with a machete in one hand and a jar of Vaseline in the other." I'd like to propose a more enlightened version of the concept for your use in the days ahead. After all, the same driving energy that fuels neurotic compulsions can also be channeled into creating intricate masterpieces that permanently improve your life. H o w about if we describe obsession, at least the version you're about to explore, as disciplined passion?

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): You've come close, so breathtakingly close, to triumphant bliss in the last eight days, Pisces. You've missed total ecstatic breakthrough by the narrowest of margins. But I doubt that'll happen again this week. The astrological pressure to push you over the top — into loopy, grinning, shameless victory — is overwhelming. I doubt you'll be able to escape the praise and rewards that are careening your way — even idf you ' You can call Rob day or night for

expanded weekly horoscope

Brezsny, your

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You may notice that these are essentially the same symptoms as those that indicate the person is living in Vermont in the winter. So, are you hypothyroid or are you just living north of Route 2? Luckily, hypothyroid can be diagnosed because it can also cause a slower heart rate, a very low body temperature and constipation, according to Bernie Noe, a naturopathic physician practicing in Stowe and Montpelier. When Noe makes an evaluation, he looks "at everything that's going on," as any one of the symptoms of hypothyroid could also be caused by myriad other conditions. Plus, a blood test can usually determine the level of thyroid hormone in the blood, he says. Sometimes, however, the blood won't tell: When it's working properly, the thyroid gland secretes a hormone called T4, which is then converted to "a hormone called T3. Some people release enough T4, but their bodies can't convert it to the necessary T3. Even though the blood looks as if it has enough T3, the T 3 "has no biological activity," Noe said. This situation can be more difficult to pick up on a blood test. One way to urge your body into a hypothyroid condition __ something you wouldn't want to do unless you want to wreck your thyroid — is by crash dieting. When you're not giving the body enough energy to do what it needs by depriving it of food, the thyroid adapts, and then the adaptation becomes normal, Noe says. And before you know it, you're living like a hibernating bear: fat, slow, sleepy and cold.

Do you isolate in the winter? Make a change.

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862-8806.

The problem with a purely clinical — or symptomatic — diagnosis is that the primary symptoms of a hypothyroid are the following: feeling cold all the time; fatigue; dry skin (and hair); depression; weight gain.

The good news is that with this kind

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T h e thyroid is a little gland with a big effect'on the , body. ItVin charge of secreting the thyroid hormone, which regulates the body's metabolism, determining at what speed everything from cells to digestion moves. When the thyroid is. producing iess hormone than necessary, in the case of hypothyroid, everything slows down.

So what's the solution to this? Usually, an M D will prescribe a synthetic form of the hormone, so that your body gets the hormone that it isn't producing. In addition, a doctor might prescribe whole gland thyroid, which contains the actual glandular tissue with all the nutrients needed, so that your thyroid a making t h e T 4 hormone itself,

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Since the first snowfall in November, I haven't been die M get warm. Vm also tired all the time, and someone recently told me this could be caused by a thyroid problem. Could iti

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While Noe will send a hypothyroid patient M D for this kind of prescription, he supplements this treatment with other nutrients the thyroid gland needs, such as tyrosine, an amino acid and iodine.

Less often, the thyroid gland secretes W

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•

anxiety. She cotroines task centered therapy, cognitive behavioral approaches, creative therapies and spirituality in her practice.

A twelve week winter support group is forming for January. Register now before the holiday season! Give yourself a gift!

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Neither Seven Days nor any practitioner quoted here may be held liable for any result of trying a rew remedy, practice or product that is mentioned in this column. Please use common sense, listen to your body, and refer to your own health practitioner for advice.

Call (802)485-3315.

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j(802) 229-5435

< TO >

I N T E L L I G E N T , A T T R A C T I V E SWF, 22, seeks fun-loving and caring SM, 21, for friendship and possibly more. Must like dancing, movies, comedy, and the occasional quiet times. 64905 SWF, 26, SEEKS FELLOW N P R junkie for listening to Prairie H o m e Companion and playing Scrabble on days of inclement weather. Knee-jerk lib erals only, please! 64906 DWF, 36, W I T H T W O C H I L D R E N . I'm a senior CIS student interested in expanding my social life. I'm fit, attractive, funny and intelligent. I have a terrific sense of humor. Live long and prosper! 64907 SWF, 26, SLENDER, FRIENDLY, attractive. Enjoys conversation, politics, literature, movies, outdoors and sports. Looking for SPM, 25-35, NS, N D , who has some of the same interests. 64599 CREATIVE SWF; 62, ATTRACTIVE, intellectual, enjoys the arts, travel and gourmet cooking. Seeks SM, 48-65, with similar interests, sincerity and energy, for fun and possible LTR. 64610 RECIPE F O R A R E L A T I O N S H I P : Mix SPM and SWPF, 35, with outdoors, arts, books, travel, music. Sprinkle with laughter, understanding, conversation. Cover with chocolate. Bake. Serve with coffee. Enjoy. 64613 B R O W N - E Y E D BEAUTY. DPF, 40'S, with passion for living. Intelligent, cultured, classy yet down-to-earth, loving, sensual, vivacious, artistic & spiritually minded. ISO educated, wise, communicative, financially/emotionally secure, creative, playful, liberal M for LTR. Let's go to the Flynn, eat dinner at ethnic restaurants, travel, enjoy nature, share conversation, listen to music, and spend quiet, intimate times together. 64637 I K N O W Y O U ' R E O U T T H E R E . I see you every day—on your way to work, at the deli getting lunch. You're tall & handsome. Thirtysomething. I'm short, attractive, shy w/ those I don't know, but not w/ those I do. 64533

WEEKDAY SKI PARTNER W A N T E D . SPF, NS, attractive, in early thirties, ISO similar professional. Other hobbies include working out, motorcycling, playing the stock market, quiet evenings and travel. Gentleman should be taller than 5'8", attractive, comfortable in a pale pink dress shirt, fit and sensuous. 64538 SWPF, 29, SEEKING S W P M , 28-34, who has a sense of humor, enjoys outdoors, new adventures & sees the beauty of life's simple pleasures. 64466 RARE, W I L D & CULTIVATED hybrid seeks above-average gardener, 40-50. This garden, begun in 1955, grows best w/ liberal application of music, merriment, magic & moxy. Appreciation of history, politics, VPR & books a +. Knowledge of horticulture not required. 64476 D O N ' T DRINK, SMOKE O R C H E W Tall, slim, dark & alluring, fourthdimensional dance teacher. Listener/ mother. '60s child, '70s haze, '80s phoenix, '90s light. ISO sweet M who respects himself & has a clue. New Yorker preferred. All considered. 64477 SEXY SEEKS SENSITIVE, S O M E W H A T domineering guy. "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty." I am all the others here are and more. Call, I'm yours. 64479 F I S H E R W O M A N SEEKS BIG FISH. The bait: 5'7" blonde peach, ripe & juicy. Give me a "bite." N o catch and release here. P.S.—Can tie fly. 64480 AFFECTIONATE, BRAINY, CAUST I C , divorced, elegant (infrequently), fortyish, gainfully employed, hiker, irreverent, jocular, kind, loving, mother, nurse, opinionated (nobody's perfect), perceptive, quiet, responsible, simple, tall (5'9"), ugly (not), varied interests, witty, x-country skier, youthful, zealous. That's me from A to Z. You? 64482 L O O K I N G FOR A B L O N D E , L O N G haired, motorcycle god, 23-48, whom I can share intimate philosophy conversations with while cooking over a hot, sensuous fire. 64435 SWF, 30, ISO F R I E N D S H I P to share experiences w/ a SWM, 29-36, who enjoys dining, movies & traveling. 64437

S I V EH M M , A* $

PERSON

D O W N - T O - E A R T H kind of gal ISO down-to-earth guy. DWF, 27, N D , honest, enjoys companionship, dancing, nature, laughing & freedom. 64439 L O O K I N G F O R M R . TALL, DARK & handsome, 35-45, to sweep me off my voluptuous feet; that I may nuture him in my caring heart. 64436 F E M I N I N E FEMINIST, 31, athletic and adventuresome, new to the area. I am ISO M companionship in northeast/central VT; for meetings of mind, spirit and body. 64446 J M 40, D I V O R C E D and old-fashioned in the way I treat the man I'm w/. 64465 SWF, 33, DARK-HAIRED, G R E E N eyed beauty, slim & educated, seeking S W M , 27-35. Must be attractive and loving. Serious relationship or friendship wanted. 64440 B R O W N - E Y E D GIRL, 20, C O L L E G E student seeking S W M to "Crash Into Me." Walks, candles, romance, N D , NS, possible LTR. 64447 I HAVE 3 C H I L D R E N A N D I ' M interested in someone who likes Harleys, classic rock, loves children and likes to watch movies. Must be honest. 64448 FALL, I N D E P E N D E N T , PAGAN snowboarder seeks man who doesn't fear children and buys his own postage stamps. Send photo; I'll recognize you from my dreams, sweetie. 64460 O F F E R I N G & ISO C O N S C I O U S love. Attractive, competent & loving W P F w/ reverence & a lust for life, youthful & energetic, N S / N D / N A , mid 40's, offering & ISO special person who also is open-hearted, highly conscious & insightful, can skillfully communicate w/ compassion & equanimity & is able to give & receive satisfying adult love. Are you fulfilled in work/life, financially/ spiritually stable/mature & interested in exploring caring partnership w/ LTR potential? I savor the beauty of human/nature, home, garden, healthy food. Love to hike the mountains & swim/sail on the lake. 64462

H O N E S T , I N D E P E N D E N T DWF, 40, blue eyes/blonde, full-figured. D o you know the meaning of honesty, ethics, friendship? Can you say, "I like to dance & I don't mind country music," w/out laughing? Have a sense of humor? 64418 SWPF, 30, ISO A C T I V E S W P M , N S / N D , 29-36, for friendship, possibly more. Interests: outdoors, cultural events, books, good food, animals & quiet times at home. Interested in spending time w/ a whole, happy individual who has a sense of humor 8c enjoys life. 64423 CAUTION, I'M T H E O N E YOUR mother warned you about. SF, 52, slender, enjoys boxing, laughing, bacon, laughing, macabre humor, outdoors. Seeking comfortable, broad-shouldered, husky SM, any color. Spitters, belchers drunks, tobaccoists don't bother. 64406 LIVING I N M O N T R E A L . BPF, mother, very attractive, good sense of humor. Seeking professional or educated M , 3545, available for friendship. 64299 SEXPLORE W I T H BEAUTIFUL, married redhead, late 30's, who's into miniskirts and platform shoes. Wanted: handsome, witty, literary, younger man with indie-rock in his soul. 64412 SF; 20, S T U D E N T , I N T E L L E C T U A L vegan with a silly sense of humor, who loves nature, music, 420, sunrise, dancing & smiles, seeking a kind SM, 19-24, for companionship and fun. Interest in road trips, live music, long talks, ailnighters, and relaxation a must. 64249 MISTRESS WANTED??? Extremely responsive, M - O , BD, submissive F seeks professional, financially generous, emotionally/physically healthy, M, 38-60, for friendship, hedonistic pleasures, travel & great fun! 64252

respond

.900.933

3 3 9 S 1

Person <to> Person

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PERSON MEN S E E K I N G WOMEN GRAD STUDENT, 25, SWM, ISO attractive F, 20-50, to escape my studies with. No strings, just discreet, hedonistic fun! 64914 DWPM, 43, ENJOYS LAUGHTER, outdoors, cooking, dancing, theater, music. 57", 165 lbs., granola-head type, 2 daughters (enough!), NS, social drinker. Looking for woman who likes fun, uses head and heart. 64917 IT'S T O O COLD T O SPEND WINTER alone. Fit SWPM, 26, 5*7", 145 lbs. I'm an unattached, intelligent, independent, witty man who has nearly everything he wants in life—except for a twentysomething SWPF who shares these qualities. NS, ND. Don't be shy. Call! 64918 SWM, 20, 5 ' i r , LOOKING FOR someone to take walks with and have a glass of wine in the moonlight. Love could be near. 64919 LOVE IS A G O O D T H I N G . DWM, 5'9", 145 lbs., youthful 46, open-mind ed, secure, attractive. Likes outdoors, travel, adventure, photography, tennis, life, fun and romance. 64920 YEARNING T O SHARE T H E PHYSICAL, emotional and spiritual connection and bring out the best in each other? I'm active, visionary, entrepreneurial, outdoorsy, and want to make everyday life an adventure. If you're a woman, in her 40 s, full of passion, zest and curiosity, let's connect. 64921 T W O TYPES ADVERTISE: NEEDY VS. SEARCHING. Rocky seeks Adrianne. Strong, gentle heart of gold ISO quiet, shy with fortune inside her head. NA twentysomething. 64811 MUSIC, MAGIC A N D YOU. DWM, tall, proportionate, healthy, NS/ND, 40 s, ISO same attractive iady for all life offers. 64813 SWM, 27, 5'9", ATHLETIC, intelligent with great smile ISO attractive SF, 23-30, for dining, dancing and maybe romance. Winter alone is just no fun. 64833 WOODSTOCK: UNIQUE, ATTRACtive SWPCM, 32, part good 'ol boy, part Rolling Stone. Intelligent, yet stupid enough to want a LTR. Enjoy outdoor sports, music, slow dancing and romance. Seeking warm, honest, fun female. 64886

< TO >

GARDENER SOUGHT! Vibrant, lone white birch tree, 2.9, previously cultivated in Asian soil (artistically landscaped university campus). This unique botanical specimen has recently been repotted in VT. Eager to grow, big! Gardener should love working/studying in foreign soils. Roots healthy, unentangled. 64901 THUNDERBIRD RUMBLES. Polished body with muscle under the hood; new upholstery. Seeks a hot, vintage model for new destinations this winter. Let's explore the winter wonderland, smell the roasting chestnuts and tune the radio to the classics. 64908 FIRST-TIMERS. T W O ECLECTIC country gentlemen from Addison County looking for dinner companions in country home. We'll cook. Seeking educated, fit, outdoor enthusiasts, 35-45. 64910 HI. PM, 28, 5'8", 160 LBS. I AM responsible, considerate, health-conscious and energetic. My interests are: running, skiing and volunteer work. Would like to meet a PF who is affectionate to share meaningful conversation, dreams and adventures. 64911 SWM, 23, BROWN HAIR, HAZEL eyes, 5'8", 150 lbs., real, honest, loving, warm heart, quiet, artistic. Enjoys outdoors, sun, moon, stars. Committed musician in a band. 64568 ORALLY PROFICIENT, YOUTHFUL, muscular, imaginative handyman, 36, in "Rut-Vegas," transportationally constricted, ISO solid, energetic, edible female, 25-45, for light, funky, hedonistic distractions, anytime. Wanna play? 64572 SEEKING CHEMISTRY. ARTISTIC, open-minded, intelligent, attractive and fit. SPM desires same in SF, 28-40, for possible LTR. 64580 SHY, HANDSOME YOUNG MAN, 20, ISO beautiful woman, 19-29, for erotic night of sexploration. Must be open-minded and like hotel rooms. 64638 G O O D LOOKING, THIRTYSOMET H I N G PM seeking slender, attractive F for adventurous adult fun. Experience preferred; discretion assured. 64647 DWM, 42, TALL, LEAN, BUSINESSman, runner, father, grounded, enlightened, evolving, humorous, ISO D/SWF to share laughter, learning, exercise, food, travel, life, intimacy. 64534 SWPM, 33, ROMANTIC, FIT, attractive. Enjoys: biking, weight-lifting, skiing, running, country music, dancing, movies, romantic walks, Sunday drives. Seeks: gal, 25-35, similar interests, slim, attractive, non-smoker. 64508

TEMPUS FUG IT. Light-treading Kerouakian, 37, SWM, 6'l", 182 lbs., self-thinker, nature lover, ISO kind, natural F for sun, snow, peaceful times, NS, 5'4" +. 64514 DWM, 43, 6'2", 195 LBS., JUST AN average guy, looking for the love & affection of caring and sensual female. Must believe in love at first sight, be uninhibited, spontaneous and willing to give of themselves. Northwest, please. Will answer all (Ma, D or S). 64509 SWM, 19, SEEKING SWF, 18-21, who wouldn't mind hanging out with a boarding student on weekends. Has to like ska, punk, NYHC. Car a must! 64517 N O STRINGS, JUST FUN. DWM, 38, tall, handsome, well-built stud seeks attractive woman, any age, for hot evening fun. Discretion if needed. 64523 CITY BOY, SMOKER, SEEKS concrete jungle-type Erodite with own gyroscope for LTR. You be attractive, habit-forming, restless, cultural animal, 33-41. Me: semi-professional-type with extras: open, humorous, visual thinker & doer. 64527

Personol of the Week men seeking women

irs TOO COLD T O SPEND WINTER A L O N E . Fit SWPM, 26, 5'7", 145 lbs. I'm an unattached, Intelligent, Independent, witty man who has nearly everything he wants 1n life-except for a twentysomething SWPF who shares these qualities. NS, ND. Don't be shy. Call I

64918 wa ll wins dinner l<n hviMit

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$21,350

1995 Audi 90 Ouattro Burgundy, tan leather, only 30K

1994 Audi 1 (IOCS Ouattro Wagon, black, leather, 7 pass., only 29K..$25,900 1994 Audi 10(ICS Ouattro, Sedan, Pearl, black leather, haixl-tofind 5spd.$22,500 1994 Audi 90S, Silver, cloth, auto, moonrooC, only 36K

$16,500

1995 Audi S4, Green, tan leather, 58.000 miles

$26,900

1988 B M W 5551 Sedan, Gray leather, 5 spd., excellent condition

$6,500

1995 Inliniti G20 Black, cloth, auto, only 51,000 miles....:

$14,900

1989 J a g u a r X J 6 Vandenplas, Black, tan leather, only 55K

$15,900

19 )2 Sulxiru Ljvale.scdanospd., Silver, power options, only 33K

$5,900

1989 Sulwru G L 4 W D Wagon auto, southern car, Red, A/C

$4,900

19% V W Passat \ W G L X White, leather, moonrooi; only 5,900 miles....$ 17,900 1995 V W G o i n i l G L White, cloth, 5 spd., only 55,000 miles

$10,725

1993 V W Eurovan Green, Auto, Weekender options, only39K.

$15,900

1987 \AV Van; igon, Synchro Blue, 5 spd, rear heat & AC, 75K

$7,900 $14,900

1992 Volvo 960 Wagon, Given, auto, leather; 66K * 4 W H E E L SPORT UTILITIES *

1995 Luxl Rover Discoveiy White, auto, leather, dual sunrools,, only 16K ...$26,500 1995 Mitsubishi Montero LS Blue, leather, auto, 7 passenger, 19K...$22,900 1990 Nissan Pathfinder 4 D R Blue, 5 spd., exceptionally clean hi-miler....$9,500 1989 Range Rover Country l'xlition, Red, leather, rool/ski rack

$10,500 $8,900

1989 Range Rover Countiy l'xlition, great lor winter.

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$7,900

1991 Alia Romeo 164L Black, tan leather, 5 s[xl

Vt's #1 Pre-Owned Audi/VW Connection Specailizing In German, French & British Vehicles

COSMOS DINER

SW NON-PROFIT PM, 30, 5'8", with kind heart, humble soul, generous spirit and sharp mind seeks loving partnership w/ SF, 28-32, NS, non-materialistic, deconstructionist, ecofeminist w/ healthy habits, patient will, agile body & sensitive touch, who likes dogs, outdoors and, yes, long walks on the beach. 64535 SPM, SOON T O BE A YOUNG 44, ISO F, 30-45, to enjoy outdoor (skiing, cycling, water) and indoor (dining, music, movies) activities, 5'11", 180 lbs., blue/brown. 64504 O U T D O O R ORIENTED, thoughtful DWPM without children,sense of humor, 44 and fit, ISO well-adjusted, easy-going, NS, athletic F in 30 s who desires family in next 3-5 years. X-C skiing, hiking, dancing, reading, quiet times. Carry-on baggage usually fits. Middlebury area; can travel. 64484 THERE'S MORE.TO LIFE. SWM, 30, fit, enjoys music, poetry, cooking, seking serious woman for serious play and intelligent conversation for knowledge, not social prestige. Libido. 64486 LET'S H I T T H E SLOPES TOGETHER. DWPM, 42, seeks ski bunny to enjoy everything winter has to offer. Let's have fun in the white stuff. 64468 LOW BUDGET. Decidedly non-prof., average looking, tortured genius, 33, ISO Jane Fonda/Raquel Welch type, 53-58, for spontaneous combustion. 64438 HAPPY, UNIQUE, QUIET, eccentric, worldly SWM, 25, wants to meet simple, interesting people. Interests: photography, hiking, music, beer, dancing, art, travel and moonlit laughter. 64442 WPM, 23, N E W T O VT, looking for WF. Are you adventurous? Are you willing to help me enjoy myself in VT? Let me know. 64443 D O YOU HIKE inthe mtns & canoe in the streams? Are you a PWF, NS, w/ a 30-something dream? Then listen to the birds & listen to the trees, because out in nature is where you'll find me. 64464

SEVEN DAYS

PERSON

GENETICALLY DEPRESSED, vasectomized introvert (with sense of humor), 32, seeks tolerant, adventurous F for MTV Sports/PlanetX lifestyle. My plusses: I sew, build custom snowboards & treat cool women like goddesses. Next summer, motorcycles, rock climbing? Please help. Show her this ad. 64452 BLONDES ARE FIRE & ICE. ISO blonde F w/ average build, brains, personality and sparkling eyes. Sought by tall, blue-eyed, intelligent SWM, 41, who can promise you the sun, moon, stars and deliver. 64454 DWPM, 36, 6'3", ENJOYS A W I D E variety of interests. Sometimes crazy, sometimes shy, active, fit, very attractive guy (no kids, yet). ISO you! F, NS, 2935, as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. 64463 DWM, HUMOROUS FATHER of two, early 40's, healthy, youthful, NS/ND, simple lifestyle, not out to impress anyone. Just being in love is enough. 64415 WPM, 40, FRENCHMAN, attractive, sincere, romantic, great mental and physical shape, passionate. Interests in people, music, sports, travel outdoors, cultural activities. ISO attractive, nicely-figured, fun, caring F for LTR. 64416 ISO A BEAUTIFUL MAIDEN. Chivalrous SWM, 33, professional, creative, artistic. Forests, moons, camping 8t fine beer. In shape, NS/ND. 64420 CENTRAL VERMONT DWM, 43, 5'8", 145 lbs. I love my faith, dog, job, home & 1 woman. Guess which one is missing. What's missing in your life? 64428 SWPM, NS, 30'S, ISO S/DF FOR LTR and R&R in BVD's. Must be NS, ND, NA, no STD's & FDA approved. Sick of acronyms? Me, too. I just need a friend. 64287 SWM, 24, LOOKING FOR A SF with an interest in things that go bump in the night and way cool leisure-time activities. Your turn. 64293 SWM, 34, INTO CREATIVITY, music, arts, mechanics and nature, searching for that special woman who believes in honesty and happiness. 64294 NYLONS & HEELS? 25 YO ISO leggy ladies to explore leg/foot fetish with. Handsome, clean, a tad bit shy, but anxious. 64296 DWM, NEAR 40, TALL, slim, fit, successfuliy in the process of rebuilding my life. Enjoy working out, animals, billards, social drinker, occasional smoker. ISO attractive & intelligent Asian or Latino F for LTR. Equal preference. 64408 SEEKING FRIENDSHIP. BM, 35, 6'2", father of one, likes the outdoors, dancing. Seeking honest and attractive woman with good sense of humor for friendship. Waiting for you. 64298 SWPM, 35. ACTUALLY, I CAN SEW, garden and cook. Carpenter, writer, plumber, activist and inventor with attitude, humor and personality. So there! You know what to do. 64402 N O HEAD GAMES, PLEASE. DWPM, 46, lives in self-built, 3-floor, 1810 farmhouse; Dionysian looks; 7-figure income; gourmet cook; former Summer/Winter Olympian; works with lepers; flies own plane; makes own clothes...Yeah, that's the ticket. 64404 SWM, 18, ATTRACTIVE, GREA1 shape, 5'8", 135 lbs. Enjoy everything from going out to a show/dinner, to watching falling stars. ISO attractive SF, 18-24, to spoil with love. 64272 STUDENT, SKATER, COOK. SHM, 20, 5'10", 145 lbs. Into cooking Mexican, punk, ska and tattoos. ISO SWHF, fit energetic, fun, exotic, romantic as hell, 18-22. Rollerbladers need not apply. 64276

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Canine-obsessed

Colchester

Dear

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LOOKING FOR YOUNG, CARING, sensitive, uninhibited, attractive human, 21-32, to explore life, nature and love! Let's keep each other warm this winter!!! 64666 MaBiCURIOUSF, 5'8", 130 LBS., seeks woman for friendship and possibly more. Enjoys skiing, hiking, long walks, good food and wine. Lets meet for coffee. Discretion important. 64560 GWF, 31, LOVES MOVIES, READING, writing & music, ISO GWF, 3035, feminine, emotionally & financially together. Let's make our dreams come true! 64497 to

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l.900.933.33251 Person <to>

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PERSON SWF, AUBURN/BLUE, 33, 5'2", M O M . Intelligent, attractive, professional, honest, funny, artistic, contented, evolving woman with a realistic & positive world view seeks same. 64481 N E W T O T H I S LIFESTYLE. WF, 5', 130 lbs., 29, petite, blonde, feminine, would like to experience w/ other women seeking feminine women only. Must be attractive, outgoing, 25-35. Discretion very important. 64285 SWGF, 25, F U N - L O V I N G redhead. Enjoys movies, talks & being outdoors. ISO similar for friendship/LTR. 64410 MABiF SEEKS CLEAN, D I S C R E E T woman, 18-40, for friendship and more. Enjoy movies, music, walks & candles & cooking. Let's have coffee & fun. 64263 SPICY 25 YO G W F SEEKS SPICY, yet sweet, SGF for fun, relaxing discussions, music & adventurous field trips. Central VT area. 64275 GENTLE, R O M A N T I C , monogamous GWJF, professional, 39, with no fear of commitment, seeks educated and creative woman, 35-45, to share long walks, intelligent conversation, good food and outdoor adventure. NS and N D . 64278.

MEN S E E K I N G

MEN

-lake.. Box 225 DR. LAURA W O U L D APPROVE! PCSWF, 33, ISO P C S W M , 30-40; friends first. Likes outdoors, quiet times and fun, too! For LTR eventually. Pic/letter/please. Box 226 SWF ISO S M , 21-30—SENSE O F humor, sense of cuddles & conversation, willingness to break the ice, spend time being playful or simply listening. Box 224 DWPF, 39, NS, SENSITIVE A N D genuine, very attractive, loves working out, the outdoors, dancing, movies, quiet, romantic evenings. ISO handsome, fit D/SWPM, 34-41. Photo appreciated. Box 220 SWh, N D , 40'S, ATTRACTIVE, FIT, enjoys working out, travel and romantic dinners. Light smoker ISO M , 40-50, with similar interests. Box 219

YOU? LICK. SEXY? NIBBLE. 20'S? Laugh. Animalistic? Touch. Hedonistic? Caress. Hotty? Lap. Available? Girate. Experienced? Exhale. Adventurous? Perma-grin. Me? Cute, married, willing. Picture, please. Box 221 MISTRESS FOR YOU? Are you a passionate, professional, financially able gentleman, 50+, who would enjoy weekly, discreet, romantic rendezvous? Extremely attractive, sensual, articulate SWF, 31, awaits. Box 222 l Ol M l AN TIRED OF C O L L E Gi El W BOYS ISO an intelligent, attractive and fun man, 20-25. This intelligent and happy 20 YO desires friendship and possibly more. Box 216 A T T R A C T I V E PROFESSIONAL with realistic expectations seeks energetic man in his 60 s for good conversation and high adventure. I offer integrity, sophistication, intelligence and an occasional impulse to cook. Interests include books, films, theater, music, tennis, skiing, hiking, politics, old houses and new ideas. And you? Box 213 HOLIDAYS A P P R O A C H I N G ! DWF, 38, seeking S / D W M , 40's, must be honest, romantic, humorous, playful & serious; like children, movies, walks, sunsets. Send letter & photo. Box 208 DWPF, 47, LIGHTLY S T O M P I N G existential pathway, enjoying irony and beauty, welcomes seriously goofy M to share some space, music, nature and crayons. Boldly go! Box 204 CLLLBRATE THE YEAR 2000 W/ ME. We'll have three years to practice jumping up and down and hugging and kissing. Jumping not required. I'm 45. Box 185

Wmw^^^MMM WPF, 46, NS, 5'2", CURLY, B R O W N hair, native New Yorker, physician, mother. I egjoy skiing, dancing, dining out, theater, talking. ISO W P M , 44-54, who wants good company and to try some or all of the fun with me on both sides of

G B M , 6', 160 LBS., SUPERIOR body, intense lover of nature, explorer of internal/external dimensions, seeks intimate union w/ fearless adventurer who is not afraid to be ecstatic, to own his wholeness & the power of love. Will you join in?64519 R U T L A N D , C I T Y SGM, 37, 6 \ 185 lbs., N S / N D , energetic, open-minded, hard-working, joyful, ISO G M , 18-37, for friendship and/or relationship. Physically disabled O.K. N o smokers/ drinkers, please. 64487 G W M , 37, IN SHAPE, ISO G M who considers it possible to have successful togetherness while having open relationship. 64467 FRANKLIN C O U N T Y , D Q W M , 34, masculine, 5'7", blnd/brn, 150 lbs., smoker, partier, sports-minded, demented humor, ISO fit, masculine partner w/ attitude for possible LTR, 32-38. 64469 W E I G H T H E O P T I O N S ! Handsome, heavy-set, sensual, spiritual, loving G P W M , 34, seeks like-minded G P M for companionship. Beauty comes from within—show me your heart. 64441 BiWM, 42, CLEAN, H O N E S T , sincere, seeks other Bi/GM (Burl./Rutland area) for discreet fun & friendship. 64457

W H A T ' S T H E 411? G W M , "CRAZY, sexy, cool," 18, loves dancing, music, hanging, 5'4", 150 lbs., br./br. ISO sincere G M , 18-25, who's down 4 whateva. 64696 IF Y O U W A N T T O W R I T E A personal ad that is funny, clever, romantic and open-minded, but couldn't think of what to write, then answer this one! I'm a G W M , tall, blonde, a good listener and clever (but not too clever). 64810 BiM, NEWLY SEPARATED, IS seeking friendship and adventures for possible LTR. Enjoys the arts, exercise and caring contact. Ask me, I'll answer. 64909 L E T ' S B R I N G I N T H E N E W YEAR together. G M , 38, artist, NS, lightdrinker. Interests: spirituality, literature, films, hiking. ISO G M , 23-48. 64582 G W M , LATE 30'S, 150 LBS., 5 7 " , muscular. ISO in-shape Bi/GM, 18-45, for interlude. No strings. Discreet. 64513

L To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response 1n an envelope, write box # on the outside and place 1n another envelope with $5 for each response and address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

< TO >

OTHER

VERY ATTRACTIVE WIDOW, cultured, educated, seeks kind and intellectual M, 60s, for true friendship. Box 176

I S K P P ^ ^ ®

T H I R D S H I F T BLUES. D W P M , 41, 6'1", 170 lbs., N S / N D , quiet, good looking, nice. ISO F, 30-40, NS, fit. Like kids. Send picture. Can't wait. Box 225 D W P C M , 49, DEAF A N D BRIGHT, ISO outstanding Christian woman who's sane, secure and fun to be with. At minimum, basic knowledge of Deaf culture and sign language are essential for lifelong of hiking, soft music and dining out, to name just a few. Write. It takes only a spark to get a fire going. Box 218 I'M AS D I F F E R E N T AS YOU. Educated, Catholic intellectual with a shy, loving, sincere heart and taste for good music, conversation, dining and laughter, ISO F, 25-33 or so. First letters, then friends, then heaven. No feminists or NPR listeners, please. Box 215 SKIING, BALLROOM D A N C I N G " partner. SWPM, NS, ISO good downhill & x-c skier, 45-55, who would also con-

CALL M E A REVISIONIST, B U T this is what interests me... Me: M , 30's, announcing interest in intimacy with "unattached couple" looking for a positive change. 64510

SPY

W E W E R E ELECTRICALLY RIVETE D . Saturday, Nov. 29, 9:30 a.m. You crossed Elmwood on foot in front of my grey Saab at the North Street stop light. Please write! 64913 M O R G A N , W E M E T AT MANSFIELD L O D G E on 11/22. Me with two friends; you with "Berm house lady." Chatted by fire and passed around roofing samples. How about a date? 64688 B O O K O F RUNES: JOY. W H O L E ness. Walkin' after midnight. Friday, November 21. Meet again? 64829

respond

11.900.933.33251

W C , 40'S, F O R M O R F, 30-45, interested in sharing new ideas and fantasies. Enjoy travel, dining and golf. 64584

STRIKING BRUNETTE, 5 7 " , 30'S, A bit strange, but in a good way. Loves swimming, dancing, alternative music, movies, reading, animals. ISO SM for friendship, romance, future. Must like cats & my sister (she said I had to put that in!). Send letter/photo/fingerprints/dental recs. Box 184

CALL M E IF YOU ARE 18-25, A N D looking to have some fun or just hang out. I'm 20, student, 5'7", 160 lbs., br/bl. 64421 G W M , R U T L A N D . Is there anyone else here? Hello!? Cute, fun, unique, 22, ISO friends and a good deal more. 64429 P U R E ENERGY. G W M , 40ish, enjoys outdoors, film/media, exotic travel, NY Times crosswords. ISO G W M . Must understand obscure references and be ready to take a big bite out of life. 64432 S G M , 40'S, ISO IN SHAPE, EASYgoing, low-tech, just sneakers, bike and shorts. 6 0 s style. 64401 B O U N D T O PLEASE. SUBMISSIVE leatherman, 6', 195 lbs., bearded, balding, bear-type, seeks dominant men for kinky, creative encounters. Adventurous Algolagnics encouraged. LTR considered, but casual, safe, hot times welcome as well. All replies answered. 64407

INVADE MY PERSONAL SPACE! SWPF, 35, bright, educated, warm, energetic, attractive, ISO M counterpart to play w/ in the mtns., on the water, indoors. Box 183

PERSON

Person <to>

Person

H I . 45 YO FLOWER C H I L D ISO Piscean beauty. Start new tribe, Richmond. Back to land, happy camper, honesty, looks, total respect for all beings. Peace. Box 209 ARTIST, T E N D E R - H E A R T E D , philosophically challenged, likes rowdy nights at home; scared of long romantic walks. Hates to be obedient. Has email. Prefers attractive New Yorker (30's). Box 210 ELEGANT G E N T L E M A N . D W P M , 50, tall, slim, classy, attractive, seeking sincere, honest, educated lady for quality LTR only. No games. Box 211 W H I P S A N D C H A I N S KEPT I N good condition? Always read Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason" naked? S W M , slightly fiftysomething, in long-distance shape. Box 205 A T E N D E R HEART! A G E N T L E smile! Warm, endearing, educated, attractive, trim, NS S W M seeks F companion, 30-40, of the same ilk. Box 203 TALL S W M , 24, SEEKS S W F W I T H sharp mind, kind soul and healthy lifestyle for LTR. Self sufficiency, dogs, mountains, honesty, strong mind and body, employed. Box 202 P W M , N S / N D . I'M H O N E S T , handsome, diverse, kind, secure, independent and ready. I bike, hike, swim, ski, dine, travel & chill. Be 37-47, attractive (externally/internally), similar. Box 199 H U M A N O I D MALE, chronologically 34, scanning the universe for humanoid F for experimental interaction with primitive mating rituals! No intoxicating or addictive substances, please. Transmit coordinates today! Box 200

J E W I S H . READER. A C T I V E FATHER. ISO happy- in-her-own-way woman, 44-51, normal weight. Ironic, yet trusting. Animals. I prefer a moon to a star any day. Box 197 S W D M , 35, T R I M , F I T W R I T E R , financially sound, prefers intelligent, swanky, even slinky woman, palyful and honest. If you love literature, sailing, traveling, why not write? Box 196 S W M , R O M A N T I C , SENSUAL, handsome, honest, ISO F, N D , 30's, for best friend and LTR. Box 192 3 3 YO, SENSITIVE, W E L L E D U C A T E D , culturally repressed mystic w/ many interests and a neat job—intrigued by the paradigm shift, deep ecology and transpersonal psychology—longs to meet, and warmly welcomes correspondence from, a special F serious about integrity and a deeper spiritual existence. Box 191

C U R I O U S F, 20, SEEKING CLEAN, attractive F, 18-25, for discreet, sensual fun. Please send picture/letter. Box 217

SAFE & CLEAN W M , W H O IS VERY discreet and sincere, invites masculine, muscular men to share morning coffee and essential exercise at my place. Box 201 G W M ISO DYNAMIC INDIVIDUAL. Must be: GM, 35-40, handsome, spiritually aware, in good shape, good sense of humor,

lEBBiOBHi 5 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail o r by letter. 3 digit box contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO B ox 1 1 6 4 , Burlington, V numbers can only be 1 05402 Love in cyberspace. Poini1 your web browser to hftp://www.wizn.com/7days.htm to submit your message on-line.

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• F I L L OUT THE COUPON AND MAIL IT TO: PERSONALS, P.O. B o x 1 1 6 4 , BURLINGTON, 8 0 2 . 8 6 5 . 1 0 T 5 . PLEASE CHECK APPROPRIATE CATEGORY. •FIRST 2 5 WORDS ARE F R E E WITH PERSON TO PERSON ( 4 5 WORDS IF FAXED ON WORDS ARE 5 0 £ EACH. •FREE RETRIEVAL TWICE A WEEK THROUGH THE PRIVATE 8 0 0 # . (DETAILS WILL BE PLACE YOUR AD.) IT'S SAFE, CONFIDENTIAL AND F U N !

How to respond to a personal ad: •CHOOSE YOUR FAVORITE ADS AND NOTE THEIR BOX NUMBERS. •CALL 1 - 9 0 0 - 9 3 3 - 3 3 2 5 FROM A TOUCH-TONE PHONE. _ -FO^°^IOTNHDETVO%ER

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R V E T S ' F W ' S I B U J T Y ^ ? ? ^ J S Y S S I ' . S S I S O R V I S F I H . ^ F 5 E 2 N S I B " - , T V F O R C L A I M ® M A D E IN A N Y A D V E R T I S E M E N T , T H E S C R E E N I N G O F R E S P O N D E N T S I S S O L E L Y * V S RU.E.MENT OR V S R ^ I H J R T 2 Y £ 5 T L F E R ® E V E N D A Y S A S S U M E S N O R E S P O N S I B I L I T Y FOR T H E C O N T E N T O F , OR R E P L Y TO, ANY P E R S ^ TO P E R S O N F^SIFE M E S S A G E . A D V E R T I S E R S A S S U M E C O M P L E T E L I A B I L I T Y F O R T H E C O N T E N T O F . A N D I I L R E S U L T I N G C L A I M S M A D E A G A I N S T S E V E N K S A £G !E SS G R E ^ F P R O M T H E S A M E . F8U R T H E R , T H E A D V E R T I S E R A G R E E S T O I N D E M N I F Y A N D H O L D S G V F E N D A Y S H A R M L E S S F R O M A L L C O S T EXPENSES * P L A C E D BY T L A T A J I O R N E Y P E E S ) , L I A B I L I T I E S A N D D A M A G E S R E S U L T I N G F R O M O R C A U S E D BY A P E B S O N T O > E R S O N A D V E R T I S E M E N T A N D V O I C E F ' ^ E U N E ADVERTISERS, OR ANY REPLY TO A P E R S O N TO P E R S O N ADVERTISEMENT AND VOICE MESSAGE. ' YIM-T

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ADS WITH A 3-OIGIT BOX # CAN BE CONTACTED THROUGH THE MAIL. SEAL YOUR RESPONSE IN AN ENVELOPE, WRITE THE BOX # ON THE OUTSIDE AND PLACE IN ANOTHER ENVELOPE WITH $ 5 FOR EACH RESPONSE. ADDRESS TO : Box Box BURLINGTON, V T

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