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SEVEN DAYS
december 19, 2001
rioi* ytv&ji o A yu
the weekly read on Vermont news, views and culture
CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly GENERAL MANAGER Rick Woods CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne ASSISTANT EDITOR George Thabault STAFF WRITER Susan Green MUSIC WRITER Ethan Covey ART DIRECTOR Donald R. Eggert ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR Rev. Diane Sullivan DESIGNER Jennifer MeCaU CLASSIFIEDS MANAGER/ PERSONALS Josh Pombar AD DIRECTOR Ellen) Biddle ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Kristi Batchelder, Michelle Brown, Eve Frankel, Max Owre, Colby Roberts MARKETING/SPECIAL PROJECTS Michael Bradshaw CALENDAR WRITER Sarah Badger ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE/ PRODUCTION Aldeth Pullen CIRCULATION Rick Woods INTERN Taylor Barrett CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Colin Clary, Kenneth Cleaver, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, Gretchen Giles, Susan Green, Brian Hadley, Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Jeremy Kent, Jason King, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Chris McDonald, Melanie Menagh, Jernigan Pontiac, Cathy Resmer, Robert Resnik, Jim Scott, Shawn Scheps, George Thabault, Kirt Zimmer PHOTOGRAPHERS Andy Duback, Jeremy Fortin, Jordan Silverman, Matthew Thorsen, Jeb WallaceBrodeur ILLUSTRATORS Hany Bliss, Gary Causer, Luke Eastman, Scott Lenhardt, Paula Myrick, Tun Newcomb, Dan Salamida, Steve Verriest, Abby Manock, Sarah-Lee Terrat NEW MEDIA MANAGER Donald Eggert CIRCULATION Harry Applegate, Joe Bouffard, Pat Bouffard, Rod Cain, Chelsea Clark, Bill Derway, Jim Holmes, Angela LovergineChamberlain, Nat Michael, Charleen Pariseau, David Rennie, Bill & Heidi Stone SEVEN DAYS
is published by Da Capo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed (ree of charge in greater Burlington, Middlebury, Montpelier, Stowe, the Mad River Valley, Rutland, St. Albans and Pittsburgh. Circulation: 25,000. Six-month First Class subscriptions are available for $65. One-year First Class subscriptions are available for $125. Six-month Third Class subscriptions arc available for $25. One-year Third Class subscriptions are available for $50. Please a l l 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to "Subscriptions" at the address below. For Classifieds/Personals or display advertising please call the number below. SEVEN DAYS shall not be held liable to any advertiser for any loss that results • from the incorrect publication Of its .advertisement. If ' a mistake is ours, and the advertising purpose.has • ". been tendered valueless, SEVEN DAYS may' c a n c e l • ' the charges for the advertisement, or a portion 'thereof as deemed reasonable by the publisher.
FICTION
Features
december 19-26, 200
Columns
Bern Out?
Book Review: Absolutely Absurd: The Life and Times of Bernie Sanders, by Donald McNowski By Jim Condon
page 5a
Crank Call By Peter Kurth
page 7a
Rhythm & News By Pamela Polston
page 40a
Talking Pictures By Rick Kisonak
page 48a
Flick Chick By Susan Green
page 50a
page 10a
Sex Survey
Inside Track By Peter Freyne
.page 12a
After the Fall... Winter, Spring and Summer
Departments
Book review: House and Garden, poems by John Engels By Marylen Grigas ; . page 14a
question
page 4a
Dirty Dancing?
weekly mail
page 4a
Book review: Isadora, A Sensational Life, by Peter Kurth By Rebecca Brookes page 18a
news quirks
page 6a
dug nap
page 46a
Class Officer
straight dope
page 51a
Fiction By Erik E. Esckilsen
peanutbutter & jeremy
page 51a
.
page 21a
Meeting the Carvers Fiction By Christopher Tebbetts
.page 24a
Ring Master
(Z) selects "
..
' page 2b
the funnies
page 10b
7D classifieds
page l i b
free will astrology
page 20b
crossword puzzle
page 20b
lola, the love counselor
page 21b
Tolkien teacher Michael Stanton confirms his Hobbit habit with a new book By Susan Green page 30a
personals
page 21b
dykes to watch out for
page 22b
Bootleggers, Brothels and Border Patrols
Listings
Book review: Visit'n: Conversations with Vermonters, Volume 7 clubs
page 34a
By Cathy Resmer
art . .
page 40a
Rural Delivery
film
page 44a
Art review: "Vermont in Black and White" By Marc Awodey .
calendar
page 33a
page 45a
\
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classes
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is printed at X B.D. Press in Georgia, VT. SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, 255 Champlain St., Burlington, VT 05402-1164 , Tel: 802.864.5684 Fax: 802.865.1015 e-mail: info@sevendaysvt.com http://www.sevendaysvt.com
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L l f c E b OUR. S E R V I C E S " B E I T E ' R - ' B E F O R E T H E S T E E P l E " S e ^ V W E A C E L U T H 6 N & A N T E N N A " december 19, 2 0 0 1
SEVEN DAYS
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What's your winter clothing pet peeve? I have been searching for over 2 0 years for a stylish, affordable men's winter coat that has the little clips so I don't lose my mittens. — Hal Coughlin Self-employed Rutland My winter clothing pet peeve is those people who wear both a turtleneck and a sweater. They need to come up for air and get a clue that they look dorky.
WHO COMMITTED ACT OF RANDOM KINDNESS? We spent a week in November driving in Vermont having a wonderful time. Everywhere we went people were friendly and drivers more relaxed than we are accustomed to. All in all it was one of the most pleasant vacation trips we have made in some time. But there was one experience we had that has made an indelible impression. Our last night in Burlington, we went to a lovely lakefront restaurant, Monas. We had made reservations, but arrived early. While waiting to be seated, we had a brief exchange with a young, friendly couple standing behind us. To make a long story short, we had a lovely dinner and when we asked for our check, to our utter astonishment, instead of our dinner check the waitress brought a note that read: "God blesses us all in unique ways. You inspired us tonight. Hope you enjoyed your meal. This was our pleasure." The note was signed: The Young Folk. As the young couple intended, by the time we received their note, they had left. In hopes they might read this letter, we want them to know that we were celebrating our
30th wedding anniversary You could not have known that your act of random kindness made an already special occasion one never to be forgotten by us. In time, memories of our trip to Vermont with its beautiful countryside and friendly people may fade a bit. But in our hearts we will never forget the spontaneous generosity of a young, anonymous couple. Thank you, whoever you are. — James and Margene Stewart Athens, Ohio RRRRRBBBITTT! I am writing in regards to "Fancy Froglin," the cartoon frog with a "boner" in the December 5th issue. I love it! God bless James Kochalka and God bless Seven Days. — Joseph Boo Burlington THANKS FOR LISTENING I'd like to thank Brian Hadley for having a go at reviewing my new CD, Once a Rounder. To hear some truly raw vocals, listen to authentic old-time folk music. Barnum would say, glad you spelled my name right! — Charlie Messing Burlington
BIDDING THANKS The Widows and Children of NYC Firefighters Fine Art Silent Auction raised $1262.1 would like to thank all of the artists, shops and galleries for their donations. I'd also like to thank Kinko's, Seven Days, the UU Church, all volunteers and Gordon Stamp and Engraving for engraving a statue of St. Francis in memory of Fire Chaplain Fr. Mychal Judge. — Curator Art Blue Burlington
"hallucinating" in that definition and, while I'm sure there may be some cases of that, it really doesn't fit what this disorder is all about. I realize you are writing more about Ian's artistry and not trying or aspiring to be a research writer, but please note that this is a very complex disorder that we have learned much about in the last decade. Hurrah for people like Ian for breaking out of those stereotypes! — Anne M. Barbano Burlington
LEARNING ABOUT AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER [Susan Green and Pamela Polston] are by far two of my favorite writers in Vermont and I was excited as a parent of a chilcf diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder to see two complementary articles about an autistic person's artwork ["An Insider's View," November 28], Having said that, I found it ufifortunate that Susan referred to a dictionary definition of autism. It's not true and very dated. There is a wonderful group of people that make up the Autism Society of Vermont that could give you much more accurate information why it isn't called autism anymore, but Autism Spectrum Disorder instead. I haven't heard
WHEW! I DON'T HAVE TO READ JIM'S BOOK Your mercifully short excerpt from Jim Jeffords' My Declaration of Independence ["Politics as Unusual," November 28] was all the evidence I needed to know that I did not want (and did not need) to read the rest. Sen. Jeffords owes an apology to the author of our Declaration of Independence for ripping off the title and the "antique" typeface style of the book jacket. The stirring words of our Declaration of Independence have been remembered and recited by the people of the United States for more than 225 years and are not likely to ever be forgotten. Your excerpt of over 500 words may have exceeded the entire continued on nase 8a
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— Carol Wooster Telephone Surveys, Macro International Burlington 'Tis the season to be snowshoeing winter hiking telemarking | ice climbing
Since this is Vermont and it's cold, the clothes are just too damn bulky.
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Later, after he cooled down, Dean said. "It's Jttetigh enough to be in public life and take all the Stuff you have to take without having your children involved." GoyJjfowani j t a m , freiitrip-to, ,: Ouagadougou, met*with importers the state capK Dean, father of two, is well aware that his political future may one day have an enormous impact . isrlll&'onday afternoon for!a.wide-rahging, freeon his own kids. So far, the Vermont press has flowing exchange. No sign of jet lag. Ho-Ho was in great form. In fact, our favorite presidential hopeful given a wide berth to the Guv's family life. Not only have Dean's kids been given a press pass, but was positively glowing and eagerly took on all so has has his lovely wife, Judith Steinberg, the comers. . , other good doctor in the household. Can you say, Dr. Dean stoutly defended his use of state "Dr. First Lady"? police security for his frequent Radio newsman Dodd out-of-state travels. The Rutland shipped the story to the Herald/Times Argus has made a Associated Press bureau in big deal out.of this year's $9000 Montpelier. The A.P., however, travel costs for the bodyguards declined to move on it. Out of who cover Ho-Ho's butt wherevbounds, was the call. er he goes. After all, he's the gov"I feel really, really strongernor 24/7, right? ly," explained Dean, "that peoThe Pulitzer Prize-winning ple's children are off bounds. I Rutterdam daily, however, is of a was horrified by what the press mind that Dr. Dean should pay did with Jenna Bush. If it had that tab out-of-pocket, or else been anybody else, that wouldcut a check from his new PAC, n't have been av.ory." the Fund for a Healthy America. Nitpicking? Sounding presidential, aren't The Guv doesn't think so we? and was happy to discuss it, noting the policy has been the same Coloring the New?? — Many for previous governors. readers, no doubt, remember What did get his back up, the case of former Burlington though, was a question from Free Press city hall reporter, Ch. 3's Brian Joyce concerning Paul Teetor. Paul's abrupt fira report aired on WCAX last ing in 1993 sparked an uproar Friday. It was just a little readover the paper's politically corover by co-anchor Sera Congi, rect policy on diversity. but it carried a sting. Teetor was fired for reportY PETER FREYNE "The head of the state's ing the truth. It was a story largest public school teachers' union," reported Ms. about a public forum on racism. Mr. Teetor reportCongi, "is sending his son to a private school. ed accurately what happened at the meeting, even AngelO Dorta, who has been the president of the though it depicted several local black activists in a Vermont NEA since 1995, is sending his son to less than favorable light. The next morning, the Rice Memorial High School in South Burlington phones started ringing at 191 College Street. The for his senior year... Dorta told Ch. 3 today it is a callers wanted Teetor's scalp. The editor at the time, personal and family decision influenced by many Ron Thornburg, summarily sacked Teetor that s factors. He says it is not suitable for further discusevening. sion because it is not connected to any kind of poliThe ex-reporter sued the paper and the case cy stances or decision that he makes as NEA presiwent to trial at Chittenden Superior Court in dent." 1996. Under cross-examination by Teetor's attorney, Congi's report was capped off by an audible RitChe Berger, Freeps assistant managing editor snicker from her co-anchor, Marselis Parsons. Juli MetZger caved on the witness stand. She Another bright moment in the history of WGOPadmitted under oath that she'd lied in her sworn TV. It was a snicker that spoke volumes — Hey, we pretrial deposition about the basic facts of the case. gotcha, ya commie-pinko, left-wing, pro-homosexThe paper's defense fell apart. Gannett, the huge ual, union rabble-rouser! multinational that owns our local daily, reached for Anybody wonder where Marsillyiss' kids go to the checkbook and settled out of court. school? Anybody care? Teetor headed west. Last report found him writMr. Dorta told Seven Days this week it was a ing for a weekly paper on the southern California case of "a political point in search of a story." coast. Mr. Teetor's covering city hall, naturally. The story about where Mr. Dortas son attends Now, a hot new book has hit the street detailing school was First broken last week by Tim Dodd on how some elements of America's press have shaped, WKDR-AM and sister-station WDEV in or rather misshaped, their news coverage in the Waterbury. Unfortunately, Mr. Dodd, WKDR's name of racial diversity. news director, neglected to inform Mr. Dorta the William McGowan's Coloring the News — How tape was rolling when Angelo returned his call. Crusading for Diversity Has Corrupted American Needless to say, Angelo was a wee bit shocked to Journalism, should sell well locally. That's because it hear his voice on the radio later that day. includes a section on the Paul Teetor vs. Burlington "It's not ethical," Dorta said. Free Press case and the unseemly corporate policies He's got a point. that dictated racial quotas for the news pages. Mr. Dodd told Seven Days that he immediately Borders was sold out the other day, but they're pulled the Dorta sound bite from the airwaves ordering another batch. Last-minute Christmas when the VT-NEA president called to complain. gift? Dodd said he apologized to Angelo. * Monday afternoon, Ch. 3 s Joyce asked the Guv Slapshot Goes to Court — There's a status conferto comment on the report that the boss of the ence scheduled this week down at the Palace of union representing Vermont public school teachers Justice on Cherry Street in Burlington in the aggrawas sending his child to a private school. vated assault case involving a former star University "Let me just lay this one right on the line," of Vermont hockey player. Graham Mink, 22, of replied Dean. "This is out of bounds, Brian. You've Stowe has pled not guilty to the charge he viciously got to leave people's children alone when they're in beat Shane Audette, also 22, into unconsciousness public life." during a midnight street brawl in Burlington on "It's not his child we're picking on," argued September 16. Ch. 3's ace crime reporter. According to the police affidavit, the scrap "It is his child you're picking on," insisted Dean, developed as a late-night college party was breaking his voice rising. "It's not your intention, but it is his up on lower Buell Street. Mink and his roommate, child you're picking on. I think you ought to lay ex-UVM goalie Tim Peters, were heading home. off. He has a right to make decisions about his perThere were other young adult males in the area, sonal family life. I think it's none of your business, and testosterone was in the air. Words were riod!" • ; // exchanged, followed by pushes, punches and, evenTouched a nerve, eh? Inside Track continued on page 3 6 a
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First Rule: Eat the Evidence Authorities in Cuyahoga County, Ohio, accused Kimberly Hericks, 36, of concocting orders for 400 large pizzas at the restaurant where she worked. Instead of delivering the pizzas, she took them home, then forged documents and damaged the company's computer system and fax machine to cover her scheme. Kim Kowalski, a spokesperson for the Cuyahoga County prosecutor's office, said Hericks' aim apparently wasn't to steal money but to be recognized in the company's newsletter for increasing the store's pizza sales. She was caught when she asked the storeowner to help her move. "He found 400 pizzas in her garage," Kowalski said, noting many of them were rotting.
in areas up to 25,000 square feet. Reel Life Police in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota, reported finding the body of a Japanese woman who came to the United States to search for money buried by a
her arm into her eye. Emergency medical technicians arrived but could do little to help the woman because her eye was out of its socket, apparently as a result of Rishi and the student pulling out the arrow themselves.
nEWs QuiRkS
Nominee for Nobel Peace Prize A Hong Kong company has adapted the same technology that the military uses to jam the signals of attacking missiles to block annoying wireless phone calls. "This is a way to enforce the etiquette of mobile-phone usage where polite persuasion has failed," Paul Kan, chairman of Champion Technology Holdings Ltd., said. Kan pointed out that Champion's MuteTone device, which sells for around $1600, can be used
BY ROLAND SWEET
character in the movie "Fargo." Takako Konishi, 28, flew to Minneapolis, then boarded a bus for Bismarck, North Dakota, where she showed police a crude map indicating her quest for the buried treasure. Bismarck Police Lt. Nick Sevart said officers tried to explain to her that "Fargo" was only a movie, but she didn't understand because she spoke little English. Sevart said she apparently took a bus to Fargo, then a taxi to Detroit Lakes. A bow-hunter found her body, which showed no signs of foul play, three days after she was last seen alive. Mensa Reject of the Week Aarti Rishi, 20, was leading a martial arts class in Bayonne, New Jersey, when she told a student to shoot an arrow at her, and she would try to catch it in midair. The missile deflected off
Defending the Homeland Authorities at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport said a man checking luggage for an elk-hunting trip was showing a Delta Air Lines ticket agent that his rifle wasn't loaded. When he checked the boltaction on the rifle, it fired. The bullet went through a window, but no one was injured. After being detained, the man and his wife were allowed to board a later flight. • Hundreds of passengers had to be rechecked at the SeattleTacoma International Airport after a National Guardsman noticed that a metal detector they had passed through had come unplugged. About 100 flights were delayed. One flight that had already taken off was called back. As many as 10 airborne flights were allowed to continue, but passengers were
checked at their destinations after they landed. Reach Out and Touch Someone Police in Jacksonville, Florida, reported that a 15month-old child was apparently playing with a phone and accidentally dialed 911. When police arrived at the address, they heard a child crying inside the home, but no one responded to their knocking. They broke down the door and found Alfray Lamar Epps, 23, holding the child. Epps said he had seen the officers but didn't want to answer the door because he thought they had come to arrest him for a probation violation. They checked and found out Epps was wanted for resisting arrest and possession of marijuana, then arrested him. • A court in the Gulf emirate of Dubai validated the divorce of a husband who used the text-message feature of his wireless phone to notify his wife. Islamic Sharia law stipulates that a man can divorce his wife either by speaking or writing the words "I divorce thee" three times. New Money Jonas, an African elephant at Portugal's Lisbon Zoo, is being retrained to accept the new euro. The elephant's keepers have taught Jonas to ring a bell when a coin is placed in his trunk, but only if the coin is 20
escudos or higher. Anything smaller he tosses away. When Portugal switches to the euro,; the escudo coins will be phased out. V• A study of the eight euro coins making their debut in January found that handling two of them for just five minutes could trigger an allergic reaction by people who are sensitive to nickel. The one-euro and two-euro coins contain enough nickel alloy to cause skin inflammation or itching, according to Swedish dermatologist Carola Liden and British laboratory scientist Stephen Carter. Their study noted the two coins could release nickel up to 100 times greater than the European Union limit, endangering "many shop assistants and cashiers in shops, banks and post offices (who) handle coins during large parts of their workdays." Audacity Alert Chicago police reported that Curtis Reed, 42, was shot and killed after he broke into a couple's apartment, then, according to Detective Mike Miller, "stormed upstairs and into the bedroom and said to the woman, 'Show me your tits.' At that point, the husband fired."
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wave — 104 degrees. I had a bloody nose, and we waited for our connection for what seemed like years. As a child, I wasn't easily stifled, but somehow my grandmother did it: My memory fades and wakens to the sight of Mount Manitou, Cripple Creek and the Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs. The ancients drugged themselves ritually for this reason, of course — to get over humps. Nevertheless, as I say, it isn't your fellow oppressed and tormented slaves-on-their-way-tothe-mines who drive you nuts as you face a whole day in a jetpropelled missile, hurtling through space in a roaring canister, of which you've seen so many, so often, blown into fiery pieces. No, it's the inability of anyone employed by the airlines to tell you the truth — that is to say, the facts of the situation. This is their job —
what modern life is like, and where each of us is headed in the very near future, spend some time at the airport. Do as I have recently — spend three weeks in airports — and you'll be lucky not just to come home alive, but to care that you did. Damn that 9/11! Not only has it made flying, already a hellish nightmare, a quadrupled hellish nightmare, but you can't even say what you want to about it without people thinking you're being callous, unpatriotic and ungrateful. Taking it too lightly. Not upset enough or respectful — where's the flag on your lapel? It might sound like you're trying to make a joke! Trust me: The day you fly from Portland, Oregon, to Miami, Florida, by way of St. Louis, Missouri, you'll forget that jokes exist. It's not your fellow passengers who make you crazy in the M friendly skies, although any one of them, particularly those with "small children," has the potential to snap your rubber band at any point in the flying ordeal. Having made considerable public fusses as a toddler myself, I'm prethat is, not to tell you. They pared to overknow, and you know they look all but the most egregious know, and they know you know behavior in Tiffany, Brandon, they know, that your plane Taylor, etc. It's their parents I won't be going anywhere. You can't fathom. won't arrive at your destination Couples of America, listen when you thought you would. up: A screaming baby is bad, This might or might not combut a talking 2-year-old is plicate your life, but, plainly, it worse. Am I clear? They don't isn't complicating theirs. This is belong in public spaces; they why you want to kill them. should be seen and not heard. I Oops! Did I say that? A sign know that most of you are in Miami warned me that it strung out beyond the capacity was "forbidden" not just to of tireless jnules, trapped in transport, but to "discuss" "workplaces," mortgages, soccer knives, weapons, terrorists, etc., games and sex lives, but if while shuffling to your doom Caitlin and Conor simply won't in an over-lit, metal-and-plastic stop squawking and shrieking, shopping-mall-a/m-madhouse. take your cue from the animal Good citizen that I am, I kingdom and cuff 'em upside arrived duly at all my scheduled the head. It did, and does, departures a full two hours wonders for children. Either ahead, as instructed, only to that or a dollop of scotch S find in each case that I was the around the gums. * < only one who had. How do you I think this is what my kill hours at an airport even grandmother gave me in July 1958, as my brother and I went when they aren't frisking you, opening your pants and lolling with her from Pennsylvania to around with guns? Colorado on the train. We arrived in St. Louis in a heat -
Again, I'm wholly sympathetic, eager, anxious, even, to meet A Nation Challenged halfway. But when you've gone through security for the fourth time because, waiting in vain for your flight, you've needed some Fritos or a pack of M&M s just to stay alive; when the guards start calling you by your first name and ask if you've picked up any knives or scissors in the 15 seconds since they last saw you; and when you know that your plane isn't going anywhere in the first place — well, you want to smoke, don't you? * Hear this: I'm through defending the public's right to smoke in times of crisis, as any journey on an airplane necessarily is. It's the same thing with hospitals — when else would you want to smoke except when gazing into the jaws of death? For God's sake, they gave Mata Hari a cigarette before they shot her. But no, God forbid, not anymore. Look around you the next time you're trapped between a duty-free shop, a vending machine and the fastfood troughs of any airport, and see how many healthy choices you can make when it comes to stuffing your face and quelling your nerves. Caffeine, liquor and fat are your options, but please, help keep this airport a smokefree zone! Smoke only in designated areas!
When you've gone through. security for the fourth time ecause, waiting in vain foi; your flight, you've needed r some Fritos or a pack of well, you want to smoke, don't you?
Fine — where are they? This varies from port to port, but generally they're in bars or in cages, where I found myself a week ago, with about 20 minutes to spare between threehour flights, puffing like mad with 50 other smokers in a small glass enclosure, a sort of smoking aquarium, right in the middle of the traffic to the gates. "An idea whose time has come!" I cried, suddenly aware that I was back in St. Louis. And there we sat, all 50 sinners, sucking in smoke, coughing, choking and providing an important civic lesson, allowing everyone who walked by us, amazed or outraged, to adopt an air of moral superiority. ®
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Weekly Mail continued from page 4 a length of the original Declaration of Independence, yet not one sentence in the excerpt would pass muster as "quotable," "memorable" or even as the likely source of inspiration for the next generation of politicians waiting to take their place on the Washington stage. Sen. Jeffords' literary effort will best be remembered by those looking for examples of self-indulgent, self-reverential, self-justifying and self-promoting books by politicians seeking a postWashington career as a TV talking head. Good luck, Jim! Nonetheless, the excerpt did inspire me to write this letter because I have a question for the senator... My question is: In response to Sen. Chris Dodd's statement that there would always be room for you in the Democratic Party, you replied "...I could never be a Democrat...." and so I am inspired to ask, "Why not?"
After all, some of your best new friends are Democrats. Is there something specific that you know about being a Democrat which makes you reluctant to join their party? Will you share this knowledge with us just in case we had any ideas about voting for Democrats come next election day? Remember, never is a long time. — Carl Lobel
Warren SNOWMOBILES GUZZLE OIL Andrew Nemethy obviously didn't get the point I was trying to make with my little rant on snowmobiling, so I'm going to try again. September 11 should have been a wake-up call. The age of scarcity has begun. Our domestic oil production is falling rapidly. Americans have told our political leaders that we want cheap gasoline and we don't care where it comes from or how you get it. And then we wonder why some people in the Middle East hate us so much.
Sports such as snowmobiling and auto racing are personal choices that people make. I know some wonderful people « who enjoy riding on snowmo- ; biles. But these personal choices are a waste of a precious, nonrenewable resource. How are you going to explain to your children that you used up all the oil riding around on snowmobiles, Andrew? I go to great lengths to limit my personal use of fossil fuels. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother. If we don't start thinking in terms of how our personal choices impact us all rather than just trying to justify our own personal wants and desires we're all going to end up dead. Do you get it now? — Tom Fugate Moretown WHAT ARE WE PROUD OF? I am more and more puzzled. Driving home through Burlington this evening I began to notice that people are decorating their trees, bushes, front
Illilllllll m i
doors and windows with red, white and blue Christmas lights. It is difficult enough for me to understand the equation o f . American pride with the tattered remnants of flags that wave off of car and truck antennas. I do not understand how this pride is defined. Are we proud because thousands of Americans were killed on a sunny Tuesday morning in September? It seems that a deeply shared grief would be a more appropriate emotion. Are we proud because America is currently flexing military muscle by ruthlessly bombing a nation that is acknowledged to be one of the poorest, most beleaguered countries in the world? Compassion born of a fresh sense of the injustice inherent in the loss of innocent lives would be a more understandable response to this war. But I cannot comprehend pride. And I do not understand the insertion of red, white and blue into Christmas. The birth of Christ happened far from the United States — in fact, we are told
that Christ was born in the Middle East, far closer to Afghanistan. I would far better undefttand-an expression of our shared predicament as humans hurt and troubled by war as we near Christmas and recall the origins of the holiday. — Jennifer Skinder Burlington Letters Policy: S E V E N D A Y S wants your rants and raves, in 2 5 0 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in S E V E N D A Y S . Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: S E V E N D A Y S , P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5 e-mail: sevenday@together.net
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t Primary Colors made you see red, Absolutely Absurd: The Life and Times ofBernie Sanders, a fictitious biography by the reclusive Burlington writer Donald McNowski, will make you see flaming chartreuse. Vermonters now know what happened to the estimable Mr. McN. His torrent of hilariously deranged letters to the editors of various local fish-wrappers — notably the now-defunct Vanguard Press — had slowed to a trickle in recent years. Seems the internationally recognized author of The McNowski Papers, a collection A "of his letters, took it upon himself to produce an ersatz biography of ] Vermont's favorite, and only, member of the U.S. House of Representatives. Absolutely 1 Absurd begins with the travails of Bernies grandfather, "Harry ' fSanderzinsky," and } ends with Bernies inauguration as U.S. Vice President — serving as second banana to a chronically ill Jesse Ventura. In between, we're treated to a semi-factual rendering of Bernies life: childhood, during which a dozen neighborhood girls line up naked waiting to fill out forms while Bernie plays "National Healthcare Doctor,"
adolescence and undergraduate college years. When Bernie moves to Vermont and takes a graduate journalism class at a certain liberal college in Plainfield, McNowski declares, , "Even though it had been named after a rocket scientist. . . Goddard College was notorious for its eager embrace of the lack of any academic standards, thus
McNowski claims. m "At least one-third pf Bernie Sanders' votes in those earl lections came rom people wno £ ere under the impression that they were actuall t i voting for the esteemed Colonel Sanders..."
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virtually guaranteeing it would never actually produce one." McNowski also notes Bernies first forays into statewide politics with the Liberty Union Party, claiming, "At least one-third of Bernie Sanders' votes in those
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" W i n e % Food... Speak not only to the palate, ind and the deeper domain of u »c heart/' early elections came from people as difficult as wringing ginger ale who were under the impression out of a betel nut. that they were actually voting for For the rest of us, however, the esteemed Colonel Sanders... it Absolutely Absurd presents a cavappears that at least a small peralcade of red-baiting bon-bons, centage of the voters were enamserved up McNowski-style. I can ored by the thought of electing to say with near certainty that this office a real military officer with is the funniest political book of undeniable culinary skills." the new millennium, so far. Bernies rise to power as McNowski garnered overseas Mayor of Burlington, and inside notice in the International Herald the Beltway as an Independent Tribune and The London Congressman, is peppered with Independent, among others, with enough factual tidbits to keep The McNowski Papers, and was the reader guessing about the honored as the first author to veracity of McNowski s biograph- win shelf space in the erstwhile ical assertions. That, in part, is Brautigan Library — a home for what makes Absolutely Absurd so unpublished writings. With the much fun. When authors neglect release of Absolutely Absurd, he to inject at least a little bit of takes his rightful place in the humor into books of this sort, pantheon o f Vermont writers, at we wind up with oversized least alphabetically, right between doorstops like former Governor ! Bill Mares and Howard Frank Madefeme'Ktihm^WW *** " Mosher. Life, o r handy l e v ^ shimr % fjll§ Last seen publicly at the opening 6f the Brautigan, albeit ration o,f befuddlemenj. ¥ . r % with a paper bag over his head, >ute o£McNowski's J y ^ l o ^ k f remains a quandary Kf&e"*' ^ f t f p i ^ l t a steel-plated Biz /Like Salinger — J.D., ling f f e i ^ C T l ^ ^ h e eschews t h e iasdjfS'rfqf ?.ho« | | £ E ^HifE|lcai; % P^haps he hopes to sell his old junk mail on eBay
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Leump Bistro in Burlington. Veteran reporter Jim Condon cowme the "Leave it to Bernie" radio series with longtime partner Louie Manno. They currently operate the Radio Deli and Grocery Store on Pearl Street in Burlington.
Absolutely Absurd: The Life and Times of Bernie Sanders, by Donald McNowski. Sleepy Hollow Press, 178 pages. $19.95.
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SEVEN DAYS
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•*
THE SEVEN DAYS SEX
W
e haven't pried into your sex life since the dawn of the new millennium — remember Y2K? Turned out to be about as threatening as, well, KY Jelly. But some significant world events have occurred since last we surveyed, which makes good old sex — safe or otherwise — a welcome relief from reality. Besides, we've been wondering if, or how, Seven Days readers might have changed as a result of our official inquiry. Yup, we're nosy. Complete and cut out this form, and mail to the address below — BY DECEMBER 31, 2001. Those of you who feel compelled to share lots of juicy details may attach additional pieces of paper — but please be merciful. We recommend you fill out the survey by yourself, thereby avoiding the temptation to show off, or to alter your answers when you find your friends are a lot more, uh, uninhibited than you are. And if you're dumb enough to let your lover read your answers, don't blame us. Seven Days claims no responsibility for domestic friction — except the good kind. So what's in it for you? For starters, the warm, fuzzy feeling of having contributed to "science." More importantly, your answers will entertain the bejeezum out of the dedicated Seven Days staff as we tabulate the results over pizza and beer. And, we can only hope, all of us will come out better lovers. The results will appear in our Sex, Love and Bridal Issue February 6, 2002. Oh, and, as always, any surveys with suspicious stains will be rejected. ® I masturbate at least
Gender: O male O female O other.
times per
(circle one) day week month year. Age:
Zip code: I have masturbated at work: O true O false
Sexual orientation: 0 heterosexual O homosexual O bi-sexual 1 lost my virginity when I was
I have sex with a partner at least per (circle one) week month year
times
years old.
Losing my virginity was (check all that apply) O wicked good O a relief O just fine 0 a blur O a let-down O a painful nightmare 1 wouldn't wish on Osama bin laden O help me jesus, I'm still a virgin I am: O single and miserable O single and content O going steady O partnered/married and content O partnered/married and miserable
I attend a G / L / B / T / Q support group: 0 true O false 1 love G / L / B / T / Q sandwiches: O true O false I use pornography: O true O false (If true) What kind of porn? O magazines O videos O on-line O books O other
O O O O O O O
Sexy lingerie is a turn-on for (check all that apply): O nie O my partner
bestiality phone sex posed for dirty pictures videotaped myself and a partner having sex videotaped others having sex one-night stand used dildos
I am a: O Republican O Democrat O Progressive 0 Libertarian O Other 1 have had sexual fantasies about George or Laura Bush: O true O false
O masturbated while driving O masturbated while reading Seven Days O changed my gender O had sex with a boss/employee O had sex with a teacher/student O "pity fucked" someone I felt sorry for O had sex with a prostitute O posted nude pictures of myself on the Internet
I have suffered from: O herpes or other STD O "blue balls" O frigidity O impotence/erectile dysfunction O premature ejaculation O nocturnal emissions O nymphomania
O had sex with someone more than 20 years (circle all that apply) younger older 0 worked in the sex industry (circle all that apply): stripper hooker escort phone sex X-rated films
O acute embarrassment about sex 0 boners in class/at work 1 am HIV-positive: O true O false O not sure
1 have had sex in: • O a car O a boat O an airplane O a bathtub/hot tub O my parents' bed O a therapist's office O a church O a classroom O the Stowe gondola O the woods O at work O the bathroom at Red Square O a foreign country (with a foreigner) O a hotel room with a rock star O other
I have told my partner I was "protected" when I was not: O true O false
If I had to choose, I would rather have: O oral sex O vaginal sex O anal sex
I would rather have right now: 0 sex O a cheeseburger O a big bong hit
So far, I have had sex with _ people. (Sex = oral sex, anal intercourse, vaginal intercourse, and yes, handjobs)
When I have sex I am mostly thinking about my own pleasure: O true O false
My/my partner's choice of contraception is: O birth control pills O morning-after pills O those new-fangled patches O condoms O diaphragm O pulling out O none 0 other 1 O always O sometimes O never have safe sex.
When I have sex I am mostly thinking about my lover's pleasure: O true O false
On a typical night, the number of mammals in my bed is: O l O 2 O 3-5 O 6 or more
1 think this survey is disgusting: O true O false
The last sex toy or prop I purchased was: In general, I change positions while having sex O zero O i O 2-5 O 6 or more times. The sex toy or prop I use most frequently is: In general, the length of my love-making sessions is: O less than a minute 0 1 0 - 2 0 minutes O 3060 minutes O hours on end, so to speak
Check the one that applies: O My lover and I have a monogamous relationship. O My lover and I have an "open" relationship. O My lover and I have an "open" relationship, but my lover doesn't know it. O I am not monogamous, but I would like to be. 0 I am monogamous, but would rather be sleeping around. 1 have cheated on a partner: O true O false
(Women only): I worry that my breasts aren't big enough: O true O false
.
Just reading this survey turns me on: O true O false
(Men only) I worry that my penis isn't big enough: O true O false My partner's penis isn't big enough: O true O false
,
In fact, I think I'll go have sex right now: O t r u e O false
WAIT! FIRST ANSWER THIS ESSAY SECTION (feel free to use a separate sheet of paper): (Unmarried only) I plan to keep my sex life interesting after marriage by: (Married only) I keep my sex life interesting by:
(If true) I O did O did not get away with it. My longest relationship (has) lasted months years. My shortest relationship lasted hours days weeks months. I am happy the Vermont legislature legalized civil unions: O true O false I have children: O true O false (If true) How many? I have grandchildren: O true O false (If true) How many? I have faked an orgasm at least once: 0 true O false 1 have always faked orgasms: O true O false I know my partner fakes orgasms, but he/she doesn't know I know it: O true O false
My partner's breasts aren't big enough: O true O false
The best aphrodisiac is:
(Women only) I ... O have breast implants O am thinking about getting breast implants O would never get breast implants in a million years.
The best thing about sex is:
I am O pro-choice O anti-abortion
What's the nicest thing anyone ever said to you during sex?
I have the best luck meeting people: O in bars and clubs O through my work O through friends O through the personals O through a singles or dating organization O on Church Street in Burlington O at the health club O at the supermarket O at church O at the mall O in class O on the Internet O in dark alleys
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38a
SEVEN DAYS
december 19, 2 0 0 1
out the book, as in "Eve among the Willows": .. .As for us, oh, our hearts beat so inexpertly when we looked at one another! What he heard and saw I was never able to tell, so that I would never become of like mind with him...
to which in our uncommon time the earth has given rise, it's come to seem more than ever much to ask that nothing should be asked, that it is necessary to be without need, that nothing in the way of anger, bitterness, death or desire is forgiven, or even unforgiven...
...I think our hearts may well have outlived our voices.
The price of consciousness for the Earth's first couple is knowing loss, isolation aijd awareness of the great silences — between the Creator and humanity, and between each other. They are separate even as they live side by side. Adam is shown at a window looking out, or outside looking at Eve framed in a window as she looks out into the dark. This essential estrangement is expressed through-
on the world, in such a gravity not even silence escaped us.
These big willows seem borne down, though in fact they strive equally to sun as to earth. We walked under trees like these, heavy
Adam and Eve do find some satisfaction in giving voice to their reality — both are facile at naming the physical and spiritual components of their Continued on page 16a
House and Garden, poems by John Engels. University of Notre Dame Press, 9 4 pages. $16.
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remembered. In the bedroom when the bed is taken out, there is the floor showing the honey-brown of ;he old pine boards in the shape of the bed, painted around, surrounded by a glossy field, a garden plot of green-going-to-black, one of the spaces to be dispensed with, disposed of utterly,
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and helpless against being returned to. To walk through the dark doors and find we are no longer in has to be watched out for. There are rules for this kind of thing, severe penalties once we exceed the boundaries of the general unhappiness. Whatever is lost or out of place of the place we lived in — I don't mean the ordinary landscapes of the house, lightfall in a room, or the peculiar echoes of closets, earth smell of basements, water stains shaded and contoured to the shapes of a woman's face, a map,
YMCA/FAHC Diabetes Fitness Program Collaborative physicianreferred program. Land classes at Memorial Auditorium and water classes at the Y. Free for three 12week sessions, then $60/session. Group I (Beginner): March 13-May 29 Land: Wed 9-9:45 am Water: Wed 10-10:45 am Group II (Intermed.):March 15-June 1 Land: Fri 9-9:45 am Water: Fri 10-10:45 am
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so that I can say it plainly, if not simply, let these things go down with me. Keep me faithful to loss.
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— John Engels
december 19, 2 0 0 1
SEVEN DAYS
page13b^
11 i -
1 '
world. Engels poems portray essential struggle to clarify the present, and the attempt to reclaim the past. In the poem "Adam Looking Down," Adam does just this: From the hilltop at the edge of the pine grove I look down onto the blooming orchards. I watch the slow emergence
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House and Garden is not exactly bounding with joy, yet the desire for faith is evident, springing from such events as a late blooming of flowers in October. There is even some humor in the poems. Adam may be laughing at himself when he falls flat on his face from a stepladder in the process of pruning lilacs. In "Adam and the-Cardinal-at the Window," hope comes in the form of a bird recovering from flying into the window:
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While it is often difficult to distinguish the voices of Adam and Ev-e in these poems, Eve is more apt to speak in the first person plural, and her voice is somewhat more gentle and vague, less outwardly angry than Adam's. Engels could have played up the gender-specific differences in their perspectives, but instead drafted a unisex "voice" to address their fundamentally human issues. House and Garden is a lyrical testament to the promise of redemption through a vital connection to the Earth, and through the creation of meaning and beauty — as demonstrated by this poetry itself. Winter-like, it lays bare the landscapes of the spirit in spare and incisive language, presenting a view of the world and consciousness, beautiful and moving in all its yearning and complexity. ®
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SEVEN DAYS
page13b^
Dirty D a n c i n g ? BY REBECCA BROOKES
T
he mother of modern dance didn't much like the art form. Not the dance of the time, anyway, which was the late 1800s and early 1900s. As Isadora Duncan was giving birth to the concept of new movement, dance barely existed outside of music halls in the United States. There was classical ballet in Russia and Paris, codified into mechanical artifice, and everywhere else there was Isadora, A Sensational
fect subject matter for the Burlington biographer, who seems always to choose larger-than-life women for his literary focus. Two previous books, each of which took a decade to produce, detailed the lives of the Russian princess Anastasia and the barrier-breaking American journalist Dorothy Thompson. Isadora is exhaustively researched — evidenced by 62 pages of footnotes — and borrows from previous biographies as well as Duncan's colorful autobiography, My
Life. The latter was published posthumously, in December 1927, immediately after she was killed when her six-foot scarf got caught in the wheel of a moving convertible. Kurth sleuths out his subject's omissions — such as a pregnancy and miscarriage early in her career — straightens out faulty chronology, and sifts through Duncan's sometimes-romanticized version of her own story. Although the book is dense with detail, both the natural flow of the writing
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entertainment — a "depraved profession," vaudeville. Duncan changed all this, not only pioneering modern dance, but also humanizing ballet and influencing art, sculpture, literature, fashion and women's rights. You need historical context to appreciate just how revolutionary a life she led, and that's exactly what Peter Kurth provides in his new book, Isadora, A Sensational Life. That Duncan was extraordinary, pioneering and a little wacky made her per-
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and the subject propelled me through all 650 pages. Unlike his newspaper articles, which are full of attitude, Kurth holds back his opinion in Isadora. The characters and the velocity of their unfolding history speak for themselves. His writing seamlessly binds together their voices and the facts. One important disclaimer: I spent my twenties sweating through the rigors of modern dance training in New York and San Francisco. So Isadora was fascinating reading for me. Would the book have captured me if I had no interest in dance? Perhaps not to the same extent. But Duncan's groundbreaking artistic contributions and her outrageous, scandalous lifestyle provide plenty of spice for readers who couldn't care less about a plie. The influence she had on her friends and lovers alone — including Maurice Ravel, Stanislavsky, Rodin and the sewing-machine tycoon Paris Singer — easily holds your attention. Kurth admits up front that he knew very little about dance when he began the book. Regrettably, he fails to connect the dots to all that followed Duncan in terms of movement history. You can trace
Isadoras legacy to every major modern dance technique, from the use of "Oriental" themes to Martha Graham's signature contractions. Without the future context, readers are missing some of the
taught social dance in Oakland. Even then she was doing her own thing, with a style based more on the movement of trees in the wind than any known technique. It was there Isadora discovered "the
would be echoed later in Russia when Duncan's friend Konstantin Stanislavsky created his Method acting system.* Duncan's ideas, and her dancing, were not overnight successes. The "cult of
Duncan had enough ambition — some called it , J narcissistic madness — to jettison friends, lovers and countries in order to turtner ner dance career. electrifying "a-ha's" that anyone intimately familiar with modern dance would experience.
I
sadora Duncan was born in San Francisco in 1877, just as her parents' marriage was collapsing. Her mother's bitter recriminations about men and their power over women inspired the teen-age Isadora to vow to fight for the emancipation of women and the abolition of marriage. Her mother made money by playing the piano,-and Isadora and her siblings
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central spring of all movement" — the actual impulse to move, which she believed sprang from the solar plexus. A few years later, Graham would decide that movement began in a series of contractions and releases in the pelvis — just a short biological distance "south." The important point here is that, before Isadora Duncan, dancing was about moving your legs and arms. She stripped down the movement, found its emotional and physical core, and moved from the torso. The idea that emotion precedes movement
Isadora" took some time to build, and seemed to be based as much on her controversial life as on her dancing. Kurth's biography begs the question of how much success is talent, how much sheer will. Duncan definitely had a vision of new dance that was less an invention than a rediscovery of the Greek ideal — natural movement, long before corsets and tutus. Now we think nothing of watching dancers skim across the stage without Continued on page 2 0 a
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Dirty Dancing?
There, according to rhe creator of the Ballet Russes, she gave Russian ballet "a continued from page 1 9 shock from which it would never recover." Kurth details conflicting reports about shoes, but in Duncans time, it was how much influence Duncan's performunheard of, and quite shocking, to see a ances exerted on the great Russian chorewoman's naked ieg or bare foot in public. ographer Michel Fokine. It is believed that Duncan had enough ambition —her fluid movement changed the "Dying some called it narcissistic madness — to Swan" solo in Swan Lake, from a mechanijettison friends, lovers and countries in cal piece to an emotional star turn for balorder to further her dance career. She lerina Anna Pavlova. would dance for the Prince of Wales in Duncans personal life also had a culturLondon one night and be living on the al impact. Alternatively worshipped or street the next — something Kurth hissed off the stage, her life seemed devoid informs us actually occurred — rather of peaceful moments. She gave birth to than compromise her beliefs. Nor was she three children by different fathers. Two shy about expressing her opinions in postwere drowned in a car accident in the Seine performance discussions: ballet was a River in Paris, and the third child lived less hideous an-American form; 110 move- ^ than a day. She made a habit of proposiment siiould be vdone tor which you need tioning "artist geniuses" to father her chilspecial training — an idea that anticipated dren, many of whom turned her down. the pedestrian theories of post-modern Her love affairs were tempestuous. She dance; art increases passion; and women finally broke her pattern and married should be in complete control of their des- Russian poet Sergei Esenin, a man half her tiny. Kurth writes: age who treated her with open contempt. Each is credited with "ruining" the other. She was not a feminist in any organized As Kurth writes, Duncan's "honeymoon or political sense, but just as she rejected tour" with Esenin was "fifteen months of marriage as oppressive and unnecessary, so alcoholic bedlam and disaster." On an she denied that a dancer needed men to American tour, they had messy public direct her, train her, guide her, clothe her, fights, hurled dishes and trashed rooms — shape her body, and assign her roles that triv- rock-star behavior. Duncan made several attempts to ialized her utterly... establish a "school of life," but war, poverty or public opinion hindered her. She had ot all of Duncans beliefs were higha talent for befriending rich patrons, only minded. She was a racist, and to outrage them later and have support believed that dance performances withdrawn. should be for the "elite," although she did In 1921, she joyfully accepted an invigo on tour to a dizzying number of countation to Russia to found a new dance tries. school. There, she threw herself into a new She had to leave the U.S., where she passion — Communism — despite the was considered something of a flake, to fact that only a fraction of Russian artists gain rocky success in Germany, Hungary were party members. and, in 1904, in St. Petersburg, Russia.
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Isadora had no difficulty becoming a communist herself, untroubled as she was by any consideration of politics, theory, economics, Russian history, or the working of government. After only a week in Moscow, she caused a scene at a party... Isadora arrived in a red dress and turban, only to find her comrades listening to a young soprano, dressed as a shepherdess, singing French country songs
bared her breast in Boston, and was banned for it. For the rest of her U.S. tour, policemen stood at the edges of the stage to make sure she kept her clothes on. Isadora Duncan had worn out her welcome m her native country, Kurth has given us a tantalizing look at the life of an unforgettable, charismatic pioneer and diva who fundamentally shifted the arts by dancing — childlike and
}Kurth has given us a tantalizing i 00k at the life of an unforget- , 1 1 able, charismatic pioneer and diva who fundamentally shifted the, arts by dancing — childlike and 1 arefoot — in a gauze tunic. at the piano. She was outraged: "What do you mean by throwing out the bourgeoisie only to take their places?... You are not revolutionists. .. Usurpers!" She ran out. The incident was talked about all over Moscow. „ Duncan was also apparently untroubled by American politics, returning in 1922 with Esenin as the "representatives of young Russia" just as waves of antiRussian sentiment were rising, and J. Edgar Hoover was assuming power and looking for "red" propaganda. Duncan gave it to him. She waved a red scarf and
barefoot — in a gauze tunic. She never allowed her dancing to be filmed, to the great regret of dance historians, so we only get a sense of this woman "bewitched by music" from her biographers. In answering a challenge from her husband that a dancer can never become great because her art is transitory, Duncan replied, "No, for a dancer, if she is great, can give to the people something that they will carry with them forever. They can never forget it, and it has changed them, though they may not know it." Thanks to Kurth's Isadora, they do now. ®
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he teacher gives a perfunctory, perky-eyed glance around the room, chin thrust upward like a prairie dog peering across the tops of these drooping heads: the Jewish kid in the yarmulke, the kinky-haired midriff exhibitionist, the guy with the shaved head and his own name — KEVIN — tattooed on his arm, in case he forgets it. "Any more questions for Officer Munson?" the teacher asks. "Any questions at all about the role of the police department in our community?" Estelle? Is the teacher Estelle? Elizabeth?
Labelled The names are all starting to blend together. "Well, then..." she chirps and turns her prairie-dog eyes to me, "we thank you very much for coming, officer." The class applauds politely, even the husky dude in the Johns Hopkins Lacrosse sweatshirt, who's been sneering-at me since I walked into the room — and rightfully so. I busted him and his buddies with a keg down at the fishing access just last weekend. I never forget a face. Evidently, neither does he. As I cross the lot to my cruiser, my eyes drift over the soccer field, now covered with snow, and to the wooden back-
Officer stop against the trees lining the school property. The soccer team sometimes used that backstop for practice during my years here at South Burlington High School, but during the school day it functioned mainly as a place to go for a smoke, to get high or whatever. The world's greatest architects couldn't have designed a better site for juvenile delinquency, since the woods side is completely hidden from view. I've been giving this talk at SBHS at least once a year for the past 12 years, since right after I graduated the police academy. But every single time I return to my vehicle afterwards, I remember the
very first talk — and the call I responded to later that day, and a girl who probably spent too much time behind that backstop, and why I'll keep giving these talks as long as the school keeps inviting me. The call was for a domestic disturbance, which is never any fun, especially around the holidays. So I was glad to discover, when I pulled alongside the curb in front of 45 Lowry Court, up by the airport, that the parties involved were not a combative couple but a combative mother and son. A squat, roundish man in green work
december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
Continued on page 2 2 a SEVEN DAYS
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continued from page 21a pants and a black T-shirt came out of the house next doo? and gestured to the roof of his neighbors single-story residence. "There you go,' he muttered. 1 assumed he'd made the complaint. Daylight was fading fast, and when I looked up I spotted a boy in blue jeans and a brown, hooded parka sitting crouched m a ball. All coiled up like that, he wasn't much bigger than the furnace chimney. It was a pretty cold night — colder, I imagined, sitting on snowy roof tiles. Must be one stubborn kid, I thought. 'Hows it going?" I called to him. The hood .5 rotated vaguely in my direction, but the kid said nothing. "I'll tell you how it's going," a woman hissed as she shot out the front door. "Its not going, that's how it's going." She wore a waist-length leather jacket and a plaid wool skirt - • that reached the top of her shins. Her thick, red-brown hair was crammed inside a Boston Bruins toque that must've been the boy's. In her frantic state, she gave the impression of having come straight to this disagreement from work, with no break in between. "Evening," I said. "I'm Patrolman Tom Munson." "He's been up there for two hours now," the woman huffed, jabbing once at the roof then jamming her hands in her jacket pockets. "And I can't seem to do a damn thing to get him to come down." The woman's deep, husky voice suggested days full of cigarettes and heated arguments. I glanced at the empty driveway behind us, then did a quick scan of the house, figuring she and the kid were living there alone. I decided not to bother asking about a husband or boyfriend. "Any idea what made him go up there?" I said and removed the notepad from my jacket pocket, just to show the woman someone was planning to do something to help her out. Her nerves were clearly shot. She sighed and held a hand to her forehead, as if suddenly stricken with a migraine. "Oh, something having to do with a videogame." "Nintendo!" the Hood announced in a squeaky pistol-
shot of a yoice.: He turned in our direction and stared us down as a departing jet swallowed us all in thunder. . ; / The woman stared back, her eyes narrowing fiercely behind rings of blurred mascara. She began to speak — I could almost hear the words rumbling in the depths of her throat — but she hesitated. After the jet had passed, her hard look softened. "Oh, come on, Brad," she pleaded. "I told you I just cant, not this year." The Hood turned away again. The woman shook her head and yanked a pack of cigarettes from a jacket pocket. She offered me one, but I declined. "Your turn," she said with a
laugh as she took a long drag and gazed down the street. As I was turning back to the Hood, I was distracted by the woman's profile — the sharp line of her jaw — and the way the dusky light made little clouds of her eyes. When she raised her left hand to bite a fingernail, I recognized her without a doubt. "Penny Bessette?" I said. She looked at me but remained expressionless, as if I were merely confirming her name for my report. "That's correct," she said. "From South Burlington High School?" Penny nodded and took another drag. "I went there." "We were in the same English class," I said. "Mrs. Vail. Freshman year." Penrty shrugged. "Could be." She opened a hand and let the nights first snowflakes fall into her palm. "I started out there, then I moved." -5 "Where'd you move to?" I asked. Penny's vacant eyes hardened into that glare she'd given the Hood a few moments earlier. She closed her palm and strained a polite smile. "And just what does this have to do with getting my kid off the roof, officer?" She didn't remember me. Didn't remember anything about me. Hardly seemed to remember taking English, much less being
in my class. Humiliated and, I'll admit, a touch hurt, I stepped into the small front yard. I stopped when the Hood and I were more or less face-to-face, except that he was about 15 feet up in the air. "Is that what this is all about?" I said. "A videogame?" The Hood ignored me. That hurt, too, but I figured it was part of negotiating with a hostile party. "Don't you think it's being kind of hard on your mom to stay up there, where she can't talk to you?" "Ha!" Penny snorted and flicked her cigarette into the street. "Since when does he care what / think? All he knows is the mean old witch isn't giving him
purse, and, walking down the hall, jangled what I assumed were car keys. Because I was born in^ late November, I was 13 at the start of my freshman year. Penny Bessette drove herself to school. The fact that she was unpopular only added to her menacing mystique. In her very adult outfits — loop earrings, tight-fitting ribbed turtlenecks, short skirts cinched with wide, sash-like belts, dark stockings and kneehigh leather boots — she conveyed the air of being over and done with whatever was trendy at the moment. Her walk was a woman's walk, fully involving the hips, that not all her female peers had yet discovered, and she never lin-
lowed with a brief plot summary introducing the central characters and conflicts: "Class warfare between the poor, streetwise greasers and the wealthy, snobby Socs — and a desperate act involving our protagonist, Ponyboy, that brings this conflict to a violent boil." But then something strange happened: I felt like I'd blacked out. I would later remember a warm sensation in my limbs and chest, almost as if I were equipped with a heater like one finds in a car, and it had just kicked in. A placid smile cut across my pudgy face as I dove headlong into the deeper, more complex socioeconomic realities illuminated by this provocative
"Ha!" Penny snorted and flicked her
Nintendo this Christmas. Better call SRS. This is a clear case of neglect." At this, Penny spun around and headed back inside. "He's 10, in case that matters," she grumbled before slamming the door. "You see?" I said a few moments later. "She's pretty upset by this." "I'm upset too," the kid said. He kicked a ragged corner of tile until it came loose and skittered down onto the snowy yard. I stared at the little fleck of black tile against the white and wondered two things: One, why I was never taught anything at the academy about dealing with kids on roofs. And two, what this particular kid might think if I told him his very own mother might've had something to do with my becoming a cop in the first place.
P
enny Bessette always sat in the front row of Mrs. Vail's class — not because she was studious, but because she always arrived late. This gave me, an actively unmotivated student who arrived early to secure a seat in the back row, a chance to appreciate fully the spectacle, the phenomenon, that was Penny. To be honest, she scared me. For starters, she appeared much older than the rest of us. She wore a lot of makeup, carried a
gered anywhere, talking to anyone, for more than a few seconds. I would not have been surprised to discover that she'd returned to high school after a brief but unsuccessful marriage to a dangerous man. My mother still bought my underwear for me. My last vivid memory of Penny was of an oral book report I gave on The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton. A lot of my classmates and I had been forced to read the book in middle school, as Ms. Vail tactfully noted when I informed her of my topic. But that didn't deter me from selecting the title for my presentation. I really liked that book, despite having been made to read it the previous year. It was maybe the firstbook I'd ever liked. And so, in an act of defiance uncharacteristic of me at age 13, I eschewed Mrs. Vails suggestions for alternate topics, and my own knowledge that I'd be spewing old news to my classmates, and took the lectern, The Outsiders and a page of notes in hand. Packed into her usual frontrow seat, Penny was, I believe, filing her fingernails as I addressed the group. I began with the standard biographical notes on the author: "Born Susan Eloise Hinton in Tulsa, Oklahoma, in 1949, she published The Outsiders in 1967." I fol-
r
text. I may have used those very words. I can't recall for certain. What I was sure of, though, was that I knew what I was talking about. I knew what this book meant — on many levels. I understood the role that economics played in the stratification of society, why gangs became like surrogate families for children without solid rolemodels at home, why people judged others by the way they dressed, talked, carried themselves — in short, why good people just couldn't seem to get along. And maybe, just maybe, what people could do to bridge their differences. I think I covered each of these points thoroughly — perhaps too thoroughly, for images of my peers' nodding heads, _ glazed eyes, even a yawning Mrs. Vail periodically flashed in my mind's eye. But I continued without hesitation, propelled by additional insights pelting me like so many literary dodgeballs as I strode back and forth in front of the class. At last, I reached my concluding point: "As Ponyboy says on that fateful night he meets Soc sweetheart Cherry Valance, 'Maybe the two different worlds we lived in weren't so different. We saw the same sunset.' And maybe..." I gripped the lectern and lowered my head to emphasize the gravity of the point,
"...if we could all just remember that kernel of wisdom with each new sunra<?..." I tilted my chin toward the tubes of fluorescent „ light overhead, "...we might live in harmony right here in our own community." I lowered my eyes to meet Mrs. Vail s, which were watering as she struggled to suppress a yawn seemingly twice the size of her jaw. The room was silent. The back of my neck tingled with the eerie sensation that I'd just been transported back from another dimension. Thinking back on the presentation I'd just given, I couldn't remember a single word. It was as if I hadn't yet begun. But I knew I'd said something, and that it had gone well, because my mouth was dry, my chest warm with exhilarated surges of blood. I scanned the rows but met only blank stares, sleeping faces, yet another yawn from my teacher. I realized then that wherever I'd been for the last, what, five minutes, five hours, five days, I'd been alone. The mind-tour had been a solo mission. Just before I gathered my notes, I caught Penny Bessette's heavily mascaraed eyes. She shook her head lightly, her firecracker-red lips parted wide. The fluorescent light ignited her cloudy blue eyes in a way that made it impossible for me to look away. She let out a clipped, faint moan on a puff of breath. The back of my neck tingled again. "That was wonderful, Tom Munson," she said in her deep, husky voice. "Simply wonderful."
T
his time, I was completely alone on my journey into the past. Penny Bessette wasn't interested in what I'd been doing since high school. How could she be, if she didn't even remember we'd gone to school together? Anyway, she'd disappeared from our school shortly after my Outsiders book report. Still, that didn't lessen the place she held in my memory or the impact she'd had on my life. I never dreaded public speaking after that, although I never again entered that special realm, that other dimension of pure understanding Penny and I had shared that day. Maybe most important of all, I respected the lessons of The Outsiders. It became more than a book to me. It was the first story I'd ever seen myself in, the class schisms in South Burlington suddenly brought into switchbladesharp focus. From that point on, I wanted to be a part of that story — a positive part — wherever I saw it playing out in my community. \ december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
In the gathering darkness, I could see Penny's silhouette in the living-room window. She was smoking and chewing a finger• nail. I could've done a number of things then: written her a citation for disturbing the peace, written her a warning for disturbing the peace, called the fire department for a ladder, or nothing at all. Instead, I took a few steps further into the yard, out of view from the living room, and unsnapped my handcuffs. The Hood turned in my direction. I pulled the cuffs off my belt, making sure they jangled in the night. The Hood pulled his hood back to get a better view. "Here's the deal, Brad," I said with the firmness of a final offer. "You come down here, and I'll cuff you." "What?" "Yeah. I'll cuff you and put you in the cruiser. Then I'll tell your mom I'm taking you to the station." The kid chuckled. "She'll freak," he said. "It'd be kind of funny, though, won't it?" Brad didn't say anything. "Don't you think that's what we need right about now?" I added and looked down the street. "After all the bickering, wouldn't you just like to have a good laugh and get back into the Christmas spirit?" Brad kicked at another tile but couldn't get it loose. "She said I'm not getting Nintendo," he grumbled. "I heard that. Must be she can't afford it. It's not her fault." "Some other kids on our street have it." "Then you better be nice to them." Out the corner of my eye, I could see Brad look at me. "Your mom's doing the best she can. You've got a good warm coat and a roof over your head and, I bet, a lot of other nice things. Some kids I know don't have any of that stuff. You think it's easy pulling all that , together?" I turned back to Brad. "It's not. Especially..." Brad cocked his head as I jangled the cuffs. "...when your kid's a criminal." A couple seconds later, Brad chuckled again and began crawling over the roof peak, to where he must've rigged up some kind of ladder. "Will you turn on the siren and lights?" he said, his stubby legs already on the other side of the peak. "Careful," I said. "The lights, yes, but not the siren. That's the deal." ® , SEVEN DAYS
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38a
SEVEN DAYS
december 19, 2 0 0 1
he first time I met my boyfriend's parents was on Thanksgiving, 1992. Mark and I had been together for eight months. Up to that point, his parents had been little more than •disembodied voices on the answering machine, and I had contentedly settled into my role as the boyfriend persona non grata. Mark's coming out to them some years previous had been a loud and disastrous affair, complete, I'm told, with chest beating, tears and one broken table lamp. That was followed by months of silence, and then an unspoken agreement to pretend nothing had changed. Their willingness to have me over for the family holiday, then, surprised us both. "This will be great," Mark assured me. "They wouldn't have said yes if they didn't want to." That's a shame, I thought. Repressed people are so much easier to deal with than ones who say what they mean. I dressed carefully that morning. Martha Stewart was on the television, arranging herbs in a mosaic pattern under her turkey's skin and reminding me to make sure that everything was just so. By the time she pulled the hot bird from her oven, I had emptied most of my closet onto the bed, finally arriving at a casualbut-not-too-casual V-neck sweater and pair of khakis. We left only half an hour behind schedule. As we crossed
the Brooklyn Bridge in Mark's Jeep, I flipped through radio stations, looking for tunes to sing along with. Singing distracted me from the images that played out in my head like a macabre slideshow. Look, that's grandma coming at Chris with the kitchen knife. Oh, a:nd remember that? That's when Dad dumped the body and got blood all over the backseat. The drive to Brooklyn went way too quickly. Normally, New York City traffic lights seem to conspire against anyone in a hurry. But not this day. I gripped the dashboard more tightly as each green light got us closer and closer to Flatbush in the. shortest conceivable time. Before I could muster any sense of calm at all, Mark was saying how unusual it was to find a parking space so close to his parents' house. Growing up in Ohio, my notions of New York City had come from Woody Allen movies and television sitcoms, from deodorant commercials where people walked shoulder-to-shoulder down impossibly crowded streets. The Carvers' neighborhood reminded me of the closing credits from "All in the Family." The street had a number for a name, with virtually identical row houses lining the block like uniformed sentries. Each building, some color of brick, had a stoop, cement steps and one style or another of burglar bars on the. doors and windows. The bars sent a sort of mixed message — goodfor keeping people from getting in?. . . or getting out?
Some of the houses had front yards, tiny squares of grass littered with furniture and ornaments. I imagined, for one empathetic moment, these plastic deer and elves coming to life, wondering how they had strayed so far from their woodland homes. Mark had no trouble picking out his parents' house. He made a direct path from our car to the front door. I quickly appraised my reflection in the passenger side window and ran to catch up. Mark didn't see me smile up at him as he keyed the locks and let us in.
T
he greeting party consisted of everyone in the house — Frank, Angela and Mark's grandmother, Marna. They crowded into the small foyer as we walked in the door, throwing us all together like passengers on a crowded subway. As quickly as we had gotten to this moment, everything suddenly accelerated. The front door slid closed. Voices jabbered and blended around me, sounding like the records I used to play at 45 rpm instead of 33. I felt the pulse in my neck quicken and strain against an imaginary tight collar. At first Mark had their full attention, hugs and kisses rendering me invisible. I was so close I could have easily pulled the loose button off his grandmother's sweater. Instead, I looked behind me through the bars of the front door. I examined my shoes. When I looked up again, I had
/ftty/HA
an audience. Everyone's voices reverberated in the sudden silence. There was an hour-long second where nothing happened. Then I did what I always do. I laughed, involuntarily. It came out as a sharp little snort, not unlike a fart, and only slightly less embarrassing. "Hi Chris," said Angela, putting out her hand and filling the void. "Welcome." She sounded congenial and forced. Maybe she s been practicing, too, I thought. I shook her hand, then Frank's, while he looked at my shoulder. Marna had already begun her retreat. I was introduced to her back. The first thing I saw as we entered the living room was a framed 8-by-10 glossy wedding photo of Mark and his ex-wife, Kim. Mark and Kim were now two years divorced, but the photo was still prominently displayed, occupying its own shelf on an otherwise crowded bookcase. There was Mark in his tux, the one that now hung in a garment bag next to my green suit. His arms were around Kim in her perfect white gown, both of them smiling out at the living room. I had seen the picture before. Mark kept a copy of it in his bottom desk drawer at home. But this memorial display threw me. My mind wandered to what Mark must have been thinking that day, what his thoughts were at the moment the photo was taken, and what it must be like to see it here on every visit. I was
brought back when Frank carried in a tray of Bloody Marys. They were mercifully strong, and it was all I could do sip mine nonchalantly, trying not to notice that Kim's eyes in the photograph followed me everywhere I went in the room. The decor had a prevailing Southwestern motif. There was a Navajo print border at the top of
casual, but she had a pinched expression, as if the question left a bad taste in her mouth. She wore all gray, each piece of clothing a different shade: charcoal cardigan buttoned only at the top; a nondescript dress the color of tin that was probably black when she bought it a generation ago; and a pair of new tennies, in a shade that J. Crew might have
It was like driving through fog and suddenly hitting something. I did a double take, wondering if —- hoping that — I had heard wrong. "I'm sorry?* I was stalling more than anything. "Mark. Do you love him?" Her interrogation style made it hard to concentrate. She may as well have had a bright light
There s only so much I can take! "Yes," I said. "Well, no. Three and a half hours' drive." She nodded sagely, pondering this or her next move, I didn't know which. "Excuse me," I said, slipping off the couch. Mark looked up at me, finally. "Bathroom?" I said. He pointed down the hall
called "mist" or "confusion." Her hair, too, was silvery, arranged in a sort of bun that . wrapped around her head with no visible hardware indicating how it stayed in place. The glare on her bifocals put white discs where her eyes might have been, with an effect reminiscent of Little Orphan Annie. I stifled my nervous laugh and jumped into the conversation. "Yes," I said, a little too enthusiastically, "I love kids. I —" "And where is your family?" "Well, I'm from Ohio, but my sisters —" "Ohio? This is where your parents live?" "Yes. Yellow Springs. It's a really small —" "When I was 14 years old, I went to Ohio." "Is that right? Wow," I said. "When I was 10 —" "Do you love Mark?"
shining in my face, a tape recorder and a one-way mirror on the wall. Too much pause at this point was as bad as any answer I might stumble over, so I pressed blindly on. "Yes," I said, and then, idiotically, "Do you?" She smiled, probably not as oblivious as she seemed; certainly not as oblivious as Mark was, chatting with his father six feet away, without so much as a glance in my direction. "Cleveland," she said. "Excuse me?" "Cleveland. When I was 14. We went to Cleveland, to the World's Fair. Is that near your parents?" she asked. The rapid-fire questioning had begun to feel almost sinister. I imagined the shock it would create if I were to reach across at that moment, grab her by the shoulders, and shake her. Stop this! Stop it, do you hear me?
and gave me a raised eyebrow and a smile that said, "How's it going?" I didn't know the international sign for "I'm dying over here — not that you're any help," so I smiled and headed down the hall.
\
the sand-toned wallpaper and miniature cacti on the end tables. The white carpet and upholstery, and the glass shelves and coffee table, added a kind of fragility to the room; comfortable, but also easily stained, quickly broken. I looked around for a seat, silently weighing the advantages of each spot. Mark and his mother occupied the love seat. His father had pulled up a kitchen chair, and Marna sat at one end of the sofa. That left the recliner, imposingly throne-like, and twothirds of the couch, which meant sitting next to grandma. She looked up at me and made little pat-pats with her hand on the center cushion. I sat down obediently and smiled wordlessly at her. Celery leaves tickled the bridge of my nose as I drained my glass. "So," she started in, "do you like children?" Her tone was
december 19, 2 0 0 1
B
athrooms for me are the . bomb shelters of any social situation. I didn't need to use the facilities, but I did need to be on the other side of a locked door for at least a few minutes. Hyper-conscious as I was, however, I kept it brief. Long enough to talk myself out of exiting by the little window, but not so long as to suggest I might be making a stinky in their home. I sat on the edge of the sink and breathed; flushed the unused toilet; ran the water for a Continued on page 27a
SEVEN DAYS
page 25a
A
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Meeting the Carvers
continued from page 25a hand washing's length of time, and even rumpled, then straightened, the blue fringed guest towel for effect. When I came out of the bathroom, I meandered — or, did my best to give the impression of meandering — into the kitchen. It seemed the only polite way to avoid returning to grandma's couch of terror. That, and the possibility of a second cocktail, enticed me to keep walking when I hit the living room. Angela was alone, stuffing artichokes. I thought I saw her stiffen just slightly, then recover. "Hi Chris," she sort of purred, in a not unwelcoming way. The Bloody Mary pitcher sat next to the sink, sad and empty. Needing some other reason for being there, I helped myself to a glass of water. "What a nice kitchen," I lied, insinuating myself into a seat at the dinette set, the fake rattan chair making an embarrassing noise as I sat down. Mark's mom was tall, thin and smartly dressed. She looked very health club in her tight jeans and patterned DKNY Tshirt. At the same time, she was very Brooklyn Mom, with her cawfee tawk accent and red bifocals on a chain around her neck. She had a broad and open face,
with an engaging smile that drew me in. I felt safe, tucked into her kitchen and surrounded by the smells of her cooking. For the first time since I'd arrived, I started to relax. Angela looked up from her artichokes. "Why don't you go and sit down in the living room?" She smiled when she said it, but there was only a whisper of a question mark. I couldn't help imagining the subtext: Listen, you home-wrecking punk, Tve got better things to do than to sit here holding your candy-ass hand, so do me a favor and prance on out of my kitchen. I smiled, mumbled for her to let me know if there was anything I could do, picked up my water glass, and swung back into the living room. "Dinner's almost..." I began it timidly and trailed off from there, as Mark suddenly stood up. "Come on," he said, and my heart leapt. I had a brief irrational fantasy in which he finished the sentence by saying, "We don t have to take this. We re out of here! Instead, I got the consolation prize. He said, "I'll show you my old room." The next 20 minutes were the most restful part of the evening. Mark and I sat across from each other on the twin beds he and his brother had once used, not even holding hands, and chatted until we were summoned back downstairs for dinner. I once read an article listing
the final meals requested by death-row inmates. As we sat down to eat, I was haunted by the fact that several of them had asked for turkey and stuffing. Dinner, as it turned out, was delicious. Angela's artichokes were followed by the traditional turkey, potatoes and etcetera, all of it skillfully prepared. The conversation centered on people I didn't know, great gramma this
Come Enjoy a Special Meal on a Special Day!
the question felt incredibly loaded. I thought about my cousin Mattie. She lived on the Upper West Side with her girlfriend and their baby, Tess, whom they affectionately referred to as the les-baby. "No," I said, "I'm pretty much alone here." "Ohh," Angela and Marna C o n t i n u e d on p a g e 2 8 a
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and auntie that, until Frank suddenly turned to me. Sitting there at the head of the table, with slicked-back hair and a five o'clock shadow, he looked like a doughy-faced character from a Mario Puzo novel. Concentrating on his favorite of my two shoulders, he asked, "So Chris, do you have any family in New York?" They were the first words he ever spoke to me;
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Meeting the Carvers
continued from page 2 7 a said simultaneously and with the same sympathetic inflection. Buoyed by this, I went on. "Most of my family is in the Midwest —" Frank stood up. I didn't even think about finishing my sentence. "I'll get the cards," he said, and left the room. As if responding to some sort of post-hypnotic suggestion, Angela and Marna rose to their feet and began clearing the table. I looked at Mark. "I forgot to tell you," he said, "we always play poker on Thanksgiving. It's sort of a tradition." "Okay," I said, though my approval wasn't a prerequisite. While Angela set up cheesecake and fruit on the sideboard, Marna wiped down the table and Frank came back in. He shuffled and began to deal. By the time the last card hit the table, everyone was settling back into their seats. Mark produced a pocketful of change I didn't know he had brought, and slid half of it my way. "Start off easy," Frank said. "Five-card draw." I asked for three cards, and barely looked at them before I folded. When Frank took the pot with a pair of kings, I sensed everyone else was relieved. He seemed to be a guy who liked to win — more specifically, not , lose. As he raked in a little pile of quarters, nickels and dimes, Angela cut slices of cheesecake and passed them around. ** "Let's go," said Frank. "What's next?" " T h e deal went to Marna, who tried to explain the rules of Anaconda to me. "Okay, so we put out these cards here, dealing around, finding the starter, jacks to open. Got it?" I really, really didn't get it, but the drumming of Frank's fingers on the table answered for me. I nodded my head, figuring I would just follow along and happily lose the hand. We started to play and, before I knew what had happened, I was selfconsciously raking in my own little pile of change. "Hey," said Angela, "look at that." "Good for you," said Marna, without sounding like she meant it. "Beginner's luck, I guess," I mumbled. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Franks head was cocked to the side. I couldn't tell what that meant or what he was thinking, although it was easy to imagine something along the lines of " Who the hell is this guy, anyway?"
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hat followed was a run of beginners luck that bordered on the perverse. Ali I wanted was to quietly lose the rest of my money and go home. Instead, I learned and then won at Baseball. I learned and then won at Night Baseball. I dealt a hand of Seven Card Stud and then deliberately lost,
folding with two queens and three eights. Some of the games you couldn't fake losing. It was unnerving to watch the winnings in front of me grow against my will. With each passing hand, Frank spoke less. He stacked his change. He stopped looking up from his cards. I couldn't tell if he was bothered more by my winning, or by the fact that almost every game had to be explained to me before we could play. Then, in the middle of a game of Three by Three, with two jacks showing, I asked for
Frank seemed to regroup. He put his cards down and leaned toward me, breathing out once through his nose before speaking. "No, now listen," he said, "you got two jacks, right?" Mark, Angela and Marna spoke all at once: "Frank." "Dad." "Frankie." Frank leaned back and put a Fist to his mouth, not looking at anyone now. He reached down and tossed his cards back to Angela. "You know what?" he said. "Just re-deal. Let's just do it again." He drummed his fingers on the table while everyone considered this.
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asked me. He even looked me in the eye. I had no idea what I was doing. I shrunk into my seat and looked around the table. I had been caught at something, though at what, I didn't know. I worked hard to swallow my mouthful of cheesecake. "You don't ask for two cards there," he sputtered. "Jesus!" Angela butted in. "All right, well, now he knows," and she dealt me the two cards. "No, it just doesn't make any sense," Frank continued. He was working himself into a lather. "Come on, back me up here. I mean, what kind of stupid —?" He stopped again, cutting himself off. I sat frozen by his accusation, with the two cards face down in front of me like little dead bodies I didn't dare to touch.
I played statue and stared at the wall, waiting for someone else to make a move. Mark put a hand on my knee under the table, and I jumped. "Actually, this is a good stopping place," he said. "It's late; we should get home anyway." It is amazing how goodbye, a single word, can be expressed in so many ways, and all in the same exit. We stood near the front door for a good 15 minutes, my pockets bulging conspicuously with change. I'm not sure what Angela whispered to Frank as they got up from the table, but he shook my hand neutrally and said goodnight. I shook Angela's hand, waved to Marna perched on her couch, and stepped outside. The cold air felt great in my lungs. I breathed deeply while Mark hugged, kissed and said goodnight three more times. As we crossed the Brooklyn Bridge toward Manhattan, I felt my shoulders slowly moving away from my earlobes. I unbuttoned the top of my pants and untucked my shirt. The lights of the city looked as inviting as they ever had. I turned to Mark. "So, was that a sort of average Thanksgiving, would you say?" "Yeah, I guess so," he said, clearly nonplussed. "Kind of small, though." "Small?" "Yeah, usually we have a lot more family here, but this year everyone decided to come for Christmas. Wait till you meet my Uncle Louie and Aunt Claire; now those two are a piece of work." I turned to look out the windshield as we pulled up to a stoplight. "Well, it won't be long, anyway," said Mark. "Christmas is just around the corner." I managed to nod my head as I stared silently up at the red light, waiting for it to change. ®
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two cards. Everyone winced. Obviously, I had made a tactical error. Before Angela could pass me the cards, though, Frank let out an exasperated gasp. "What are you doing?" he
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Tolkien teacher Michael Stanton confirms his Hobbit habit with a new book
BY SUSAN GREEN
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Vermont Army National Guard Citizen-soldiers proudly serving - their state and nation in times of need. •
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f you're a fan of Frodo or seriously spooked by the hissing Gollum, Michael Stanton understands. Until his recent retirement from the University of Vermont, the 63-year-old English literature professor spent three decades teaching generations of fantasy-loving students about The Lord of the Rings. The Colchester resident was captivated by the
planned to come out in February 2001," Stanton explains, adding that unforeseen problems delayed the publication date to coincide with the film's release. "It's perfect timing." That's how things often unfold when mucking about in Middle-earth, the locale for Tolkien's 1954 masterpiece. Even Stanton, an ostensibly pragmatic man, acknowledges there might be a bit of mysticism afoot in all
sive sense of destiny in making the motion picture: "It all feels like it was meant to be," he says. "It's weird. The entire project felt like that for everyone." Everyone, in this case, includes Sir Ian McKellen. As Gandalf, he plays a wizard who helps Frodo, a brave little hobbit seeking to destroy a magic ring whose dark powers can be used to wreak havoc — particularly by those bad guys from the land of
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^ page 3 8 a
SEVEN DAYS
december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
things Ring. "Tolkien talked of characters that were 'revealed' to him," he explains. "[Science fiction writer] Ursula LeGuin says the same thing, about characters who come in without being invited."' Stanton was not surprised, therefore, by the comments of Elijah Wood in an interview on the New Zealand set of Fellowship. The young actor, who portrays pointy-eared, furry-footed hero Frodo Baggins, informed BoxOffice magazine his given name means "the chosen one." In his view, that's linked to a perva-
Mordor. Others in director Peter Jackson's all-star cast of elves, trolls, dwarves, ores, ents, ringwraiths and even humans include Liv Tyler, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin and Cate Blanchett. Stanton was so excited at the prospect of seeing these literary life forms on the big screen, he bought movie tickets a week in advance of the December 19 premiere. An aficionado of the sciencefiction and fantasy genre since the 1950s, Stanton's affinity for Tolkien grew with each successive semester of what began as an
experimental course. ''The longer I taught him, the more I found to say about him," he recalls, noting he's read the book an estimated 25 times. "I like the way he created the world his characters inhabit, his interest in language, the depth of the story, the quest motif and his moral sensibility."
T
he brilliance of John
Ronald Reuel Tolkien, who died in 1973 at the age of 81, took shape while growing up in an unlikely breeding ground for genius: tiny Sarehole. Stanton makes it clear that this timeless English village provided inspiration for the peaceable "Shire," hometown to the wee hobbits. As old-fashioned as they come, Tolkien abhorred the irrevocable change brought about by the machine age. t After losing both parents before he was 12, Tolkien had a Catholic priest as his guardian — which accounts for the spiritual underpinnings of the prose he later wrote. According to Stanton, the Oxford University professor of medieval literature had studied Old Norse and Anglo-Saxon, as well as modern Swedish, Norwegian, Danish, Dutch and German. His linguistic talents — and vivid imagination — emerged early in life. By his teen-age years, Tolkien had already dreamed up a few fanciful tongues of his own, including Elvish, which some of his fictitious Ring beings speak. Tolkien fought in World War I and lost all but one of his closest friends in the conflict. Rings is anti-war but not a pacifist novel," Stanton suggests, although the book was embraced in the late 1960s by American youth, who interpreted it as a protest against the Vietnam War. "It's not about rebellion," Stanton says of the story about
nine diverse creatures who battle seemingly invincible forces of evil. And back then, he remembers feeling "annoyed that people would name their dogs Gandalf. They were writing graffiti in Elvish on subways. . . Some kids were looking for moral clarity that our world doesn't offer, Tolkien said fantasy exists for escape, consolation and recovery. I think the counterculture needed those things. Both Hesse and Tolkien offer an alternate vision of things." Despite his wild prose images, Tolkien's outward demeanor was somewhat drab, According to Stanton's chapter of biographical information, he was "flagrantly ordinary," opting for "dowdy clothes except for the occasional brilliant waistcoat, plain food, a dull house, unremarkable pictures on the wall." Appropriately, it was while correcting what Stanton refers to as "a very dull set of exam papers" in the late 1920s or early 1930s that Tolkien suddenly jotted down the phrase: "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit." In 1937, his first book — The Hobbit, a delightful children's story about Frodo's uncle Bilbo Baggins — was published. It took another 17 years for him to complete the bleaker, more complex Ring trilogy, conceived as one volume but divided into three by his publishing company for easier marketing, Stanton is the first to admit his own tome might never be destined for the best-seller list. It's a scholarly examination derived from his UVM classes, "My idea was that there's a large demand in the academic world for something like this," he says, "It's written for students. At first, reading the trilogy can be confusing. I wanted to offer some guidance, a kind of companion to the Continued on page 32a
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continued from page 31a Tolkien book, for college-age people." In his preface, Stanton notes that "little here is new," a rather self-effacing comment for any scribe hoping to sell copies of his work. "My original wording was 'profoundly unoriginal,' but I was talked out of that by the publisher," he admits. "I meant to be honest. There's no radical re-interpretation, re-evaluation or far-out literary theory, just things I've thought about over the years and 1 that students have taught me."
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he notion of writing a Tolkien book came to Stanton in the spring of 1997, when he was on a medical leave from UVM for a semester. "I had lost my voice from radiation in the course of therapy for throat cancer," he recalls. "I was no longer ill, but I couldn't speak. So I was looking for something to do and thought it'd be fun to write down all these things I'd been teaching. I wanted to codify all this material I'd gathered." Most of the manuscript was finished by the fall of 1998, when Stanton began considering publication. He sent it to a Texas literary agency, which recommended lengthening the book. A deal was signed with St. Martin's in 2000. Then came the long struggle to get permission from the Tolkien estate, which balked at the number of direct quotations Stanton proposed. He had to cut back to less than 2000 words from The Lord of the Rings. That delay turned out to be a blessing in disguise, positioning Hobbits, Elves and Wizards in the movies warm spotlight. "It really turned out to my advantage," says Stanton, whose
own childhood in a small farming community — 1940s Colchester — must have been similar to Tolkien's early history at the turn of the 20th century. Stanton's father, the local iceman who later ran a grocery store, died when the boy was 16. His mother remarried a co-worker at General Electric in Burlington. At Essex Junction High School, Stanton was named salutatorian of his 1955 graduating class after an English teacher encouraged him to become an avid reader. He
k .ord
ofthe Rings, Stanton surmises, is {ha
jthe book is about "ordinary people, like Frodo, capable of extraordinary deeds." attended UVM, but dropped out after a few months. "I was very immature," he says. Stanton worked at odd jobs until he was drafted in 1961, in the heat ofthe Cold War. "That shook me out of my complacency. I'd been having a good time, bowling and drinking beer." In the Army, Stanton was stationed in Oklahoma for two years and at a supply depot in Korea for 12 months. He began to comprehend the value of education, and realized a degree was essential for what he wanted to do in life: becdnae an English teacher. So, it was back to UVM from September 1964 until December 1967 — a shorterthan-usual undergraduate span thanks to courses he'd taken while still a soldier. After a stint teaching at Fair Haven Union High School, Stanton moved on to earn a
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At UVM, Stanton began offering classes on "Wordsworth, Coleridge, Byron and those chaps," as he puts it. A year later, he launched the first in his long tradition of sci-fi and fantasy courses, incorporating such authors as LeGuin, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, H.G. Wells, T.H. White and Lewis Carroll in addition to Tolkien. Students flocked to these sessions, "even people who were not English majors," he points out. What Tolkienistas appreciate about The Lord of the Rings, , . Stanton surmises, is that the book is about "ordinaf| people, like Frodo, capable of extraordinary deeds." Not unlike the passengers of Flight 93 who seized control of the airplane from the terrorists, or those in the World Trade Center who sacrificed themselves to save others, Stanton suggests. It's an uninten-
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Consequently, contemporary audiences might find the same kind of relevance in the film that hippies once did in the novel. The second volume of Tolkien's trilogy, which won't be out as a movie until Christmas 2002, has a hauntingly pertinent title: The Two Towers. By then, hopefully, Ground Zero will no longer look like a raw wound, • - •if - Meanwhile, Stanton is enjoying the attention that comt publishing 25,000 copies of a book related to a blockbuster about to open in movie theaters across the country. He's been interviewed by Vermont Public Radio, The Cleveland Plain Dealer and — perhaps due to the theological implications of the Tolkien oeuvre — the Reverend Billy Grahams evangelical broadcast network. Which begs the question: What's Elvish for "amen"? ®
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page 32a
tional parallel that jumps off the pages of his book, in references to Frodo wishing the horrors he faces hadn't happened in his lifetime, or wise Gandalf pointing out that its what we "do with the time given us" that counts. Stanton crafted a prescientsounding line that describes the situation in Middle-earth, with "good being relatively weak and divided because it is free" and evil seeming "strong because its forces are united... though they may be in chains."
What Tolkienistas appreciate about The
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Ph.D. at the University of Rochester in upstate New York. His dissertation focused on the Romantic era's Robert Southey, an English poet laureate who died half a century before the birth of J.R.R. Tolkien. Stanton found himself back at his Green Mountain State alma mater in 1971. Unlike Tolkien, who had a wife and four children, he remains a bachelor. His older sister and younger brother also live in Vermont. Another sister is in California.
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D
uring the Prohibition era, "King" Conrad Labelle made $100,000 smuggling alcohol over the U.S.Canadian border. He owned a fleet of fast cars — Cadillacs and Studebakers. "And when I used to shoot through, they couldn't stop me," he told an interviewer from the Vermont Folklife Center. "I was a very good driver. I was one of the best drivers there was around." Or so he said. Labelle and fellow former bootlegger Pete Hanlon told their stories on tape to the Vermont Folklife
Center in the mid-1980s, and their colorful conversation has just been published in the seventh volume of VFC's annual publication Visit'n: Conversations with Vermonters. Whether or not some of their more outrageous claims are true — that Labelle, for example, once drank champagne during Prohibition with a U.S. President — is almost beside the point. Meg Ostrum, the managing editor of Visit'n, explains that she sifted through 300 to 400 pages of transcribed interviews with Hanlon before deciding to include this section, in which he reminisces with Labelle. The excerpt,
she says, "reinforces the swagger of these two men, which is part of the bootlegging. It was a sport, in a way." The swagger, Ostrum insists, can be just as important as the factual story. "Oral history allows us to hear how people of the time felt or thought about what was going on," she says. "That's one of the fascinating aspects of oral history; you get attitudes and beliefs from the period." Not all of the bootlegging stories are as
glamorous as Labelle's. William "Digger" Rowley recounts a time when he hitched a ride with "an empty bootlegger," who had just "dumped a load" and was on his way back. Traveling over a bumpy dirt road, the man sped around a curve and hit a young bull. The car, says Rowley, kept going, but the impact jarred the home-
Continued on page 34a
VISIT'N: Conversations with Vermonters, Volume 7. Vermont Folklife Center, 64 pages. $10.
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made smokescreen, "and that let the smoke and ammonia come _» out. The smokescreen Rowley describes was a tank filled with ammonia and old motor oil that rum-runners used to outfox the border patrol: "It was hooked up to the exhaust, so you could turn on that switch they had on the dash and that mixture would go into the muffler and exhaust and throw out this cloud of smoke, which would spoil the vision and the ammonia would smart your eyes," he explains. Rowley presents smokescreens as a fairly common device. He also remembers that sometimes the bootleggers and the farmers would work together, so that the cows might be put across the road "after the smuggler had already gone by, so that the patrol couldn't; they'd have to wait until the cows cleared out.. » Ostrum admits that memories like these are filtered over time, but, she says, "It still comes across that [bootlegging] was an accepted form of life because it was a form of income." Not all the stories in this year's Visit'n relate to bootlegging. The 63-page collection includes two lengthy features detailing the cultural exchange that happens along the Vermont-Quebec border. One is an account of the Rainvilles, a family of farmers;'the'Other-'1 ; explores the French-Canadian musical traditions of the Pellerin clan. Yet another section describes the odyssey of Israel and Mary Sadoques, the Abenaki grandparents of Mali Keating — pictured on the book's cover. The Sadoques' canoe journey from the Odanak Reservation to Long Island to Vermont and finally to Keene, New Hampshire, is the most harrowing adventure in Visit'n. But the outlandish bootleggers and the border guards who pursued them easily dominate this volume. And, yes, there is one very tame account of a brothel, run by "Queen" Lil Fleury. Queen's place was a "line hotel" — half on U.S. soil, half on Canadian. According to the profile of this statuesque lady, "The train stopped as frequently at Queen's hotel as it did at the Richford train depot." These stories of illicit activity are part of what Ostrum calls "Vermont's cultural understory," which the Middleburybased Folklife Center is committed to preserving. The Center began publishing Visit'n in 1995 as a way of disseminating information collected in their multimedia archives. Distributed free to Folklife Center members, Visit'n is also available for purchase at the Center, and can be found at roughly 30 other outlets around the state. "It's a publishing effort that's
kind of a well-kept secret," confides Ostrum... But the secret is getting out. Lately people have begun asking Ostrum to sell a box set of issues 1 through 7. "They're collectibles," she says. "People come in saying, 'I've got 2 and 4, now I want 3 and 5." Unfortunately the first issue, which contains an account from a Vermont farmer entitled, "I Buried My Own Leg," is already out of print. Copies still exist in the special collections rooms at some Vermont libraries, and they're worth, um, digging up. The eclectic subject matter is often quirky and surprising. " Visit'n really ranges over a lot of emotional material," says Ostrum. "There are some hilarious things and some really grisly things." One of the latter passages in Volume 7 deals with the smuggling of illegal immigrants. Some bootleggers accepted huge sums
ulous smuggler: "I don't know how many he drowned, but he drowned a lot of them. Got the money and drowned them." Ostrum attributes the richness of the Center's archives to its experienced field workers, who collect information from all over the state. "They're able to probe people's lives in an interesting way that doesn't exploit the people who share their stories," she says. She cites the example of a "well-respected Mad River Valley man" who spoke about growing up as an illegitimate child. "This was not something that was easy for him to talk about," she notes. Ostrum is not the only advocate of this highly personal yet valuable historic material. National Teacher of the Year Michele Forman is also enthusiastic about Visit'n. Before she started traveling around the world as an education ambassador, Forman taught history at Middlebury Union High School.
Excerpt from "The Rum-Running Game: Two retired bootleggers swap Prohibition-era smuggiing tales" — a conversation between Pete Hanlon and Conrad Labelle CONRAD: You remember Sammy K...? I used to gamble with him, you know. PETE: He got in a racket with all that bunch in Plattsburgh, and he was running booze, all right. He wanted to buy a boat, so I had a boat in Burlington, PRECIOUS PAT. I sold him that boat. CONRAD: He got drowned with that boat, eh? He had a lot of money on him when he got drowned. I think he win a lot of money that time at gambling. I think they had a dice game — he win twenty-five thousand dollar. PETE: I know how he got drowned. Sammy's girlfriend had a boyfriend. The guy who was driving the boat was her sweetheart. Well, Sammy was in the back, with his cast on his leg (he got shot). He went to go from the stern to the bow. When he got hold of the hatches — the old hatches on that boat were all rotten anyway — he pulled, over he goes. They let him go, let him drown right near Valcour. I went over looking for him, too. They didn't get him until the spring, down near Port Kent. How the hell they got him was the fishermen. CONRAD: Then he had no money on him? PETE: The woman got the money. She was in with the driver. They were together. He got some of it, too.
VFC brochure reads, "Every library should have copies of Visit'n. Who could resist its tales of lining bees, the not so good
material, in the back of our minds we're thinking 'how does this relate to current events?'" The sections on bootlegging seem especially timely in w light of the current conflict ' over legalization of drugs, particularly marijuana. The WW striking photo of a 20-year* old "King" Conrad, in his expensive suit and slightly slanted cap, does not in any way resemble the more casual style of many contemporary drug dealers. However, the photo and Labelle's recollections prove that the concept of a young person making obscene amounts of money brokering illegal substances is nothing new.
a bystander, his recollections of the rum-runners tend to be more objective. He mentions that some local men were caught and sent to federal prison in Atlanta. "These guys, you know, they were poor," he says. "They were trying to make a dollar... it's almost like drugs today." Then Rainville relays the sort of enlightened but unsubstantiated comment that is too often lost in the dry retelling of history. Paraphrasing Mr. Menard of the border patrol, Rainville recalls, "We found out that it's impossible to enforce a law that the people don't want." If that's not the kind of folk wisdom the school board wants students to hear, it's the kind of
, manages to touch on this subject as well. As
not to mention a gosh darned good read. ®
really ranges over a lot of emotional material. There are some hilarious things and " Visit'n
some really grisly things."
— Meg Ostrum, Vermont Folklife Center of money in return for transporting people over the border. One trip smuggling Chinese immigrants was enough for Pete Hanlpui 'Who didn't want to riskthe money he made as a bootlegger. He tells of another unscrup-
Visit'n is part of her curriculum. "History is not just a dry list of facts," Forman says. " Visit'n : helps kids understand that history has everything to do with the real stories of human beings." A quote from Forman on the
old days,' or an elephant waterskiing on Lake Fairlee!" But Ostrum points out that, as random as their selection of sub- ^ jects might seem, the staff of Visit'n are very deliberate about their choices. "When we select
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tually, kicks to the head. According to the affidavit, Mr. Mink, a power forward on the ice, decked Mr. Audette and continued to punch and kick him as he lay unconscious. As one might expect, Mr. Mink had little difficulty handling Audette since he outweighed him by more than 50 pounds. The facial bone around Audette's left eye was fractured. On Buell Street that night, there were no hockey referees or linesmen to pull Mink off the fallen Audette and lead him to the penalty box. Had it happened on the ice, Mink would have received a five-minute penalty for fighting. The home crowd would have cheered. Old-time hockey. On a public street in Burlap, however, it's called aggravated assault — a felony. Instead of five minutes in the sin-bin, Mr. Mink faces up to 15 years in the slammer. Mr. Mink won't be attending this week's status conference at the courthouse. His attorney, R. Jeffrey Behm, told Seven Days that Judge Michael Kupersmith granted his request to waive the Minkmeister's appearance at the courthouse. Pressing business out of state, you see. Following the altercation, Coach Mike Gilligan quickly cut him from the UVM men's ice :t hockey team. Mink, a senior, dropped out of school. He turned pro. These days, Mr. Mink gets paid to throw punches for the i Richmond Renegades of the East Coast Hockey League, a minorleague affiliate of the NHL's Washington Capitals. Mink, a former three-sport star at Stowe High School, started slowly this season, but gOt called up to the American Hockey League's Portland Pirates for a seven-game stretch in early November. When he returned to Virginia, he was a new man. The Richmond Times-Dispatch calls him "Graham Crackerjack," and, last week, published this report: Since his return last Thursday, Mink has looked like a different player. Twice in one game he dropped the gloves, doubling his previous fight total. More important, he has three goals in the past two outings, including a pair in Saturdays 4-3 overtime victory against Atlantic City. It would appear someone in Portland got in Mink's ear: Be more aggressive, kid, and the goals will come. They sent a team message up there: "Be nasty, tough and physical. That's what I tried to do," Mink said. "I'm a bigger player, and I need to start throwing my weight around. If anything, the call-up has given me more confidence. I'm more comfortable on the ice." Apparently, Mink's been real comfortable lately. He's scoring almost a goal a game since returning from Portland, Maine, and getting into punchups almost every night. In fact, the ECHL is currently reviewing last Friday's ugly "brawl game" against the Reading Royals. According to the score sheet, Mr. Mink was
involved in two fights. According tp the Times-Dispatch, even the fans got involved. Sounds like a scene from the movie Slapshot. It looks like the big kid from Stowe, Vermont, may have a future in pro hockey after all. Might even make it to the "show" with fists like that. Unfortunately, his future in the Vermont criminal justice system is a bit murkier. Defense Attorney Behm says the Mink case has a ways to go. They haven't completed "discovery" yet, he said. Mr. Behm told Seven Days his client has "a valid self-defense defense that we will pursue." Looks like the fight in the courtroom may be the biggest fight of Graham Minks career. Stay tuned. Media Notes — No explanation, but WVNY-TV news director Bill Colley has quietly departed Vermont's ABC affiliate for reasons unknown. We were unable to speak with General Manager Larry Delia Tuesday afternoon. Mr. Delia was "in a meeting." Larry's the TV wunderkind who's attempting to turn ex-Republican gubernatorial candidate Ruth Dwyer into an investigative reporter. Colley could not be reached for comment. His home phone was disconnected. Interesting. Media Notes II — Radio newsman extraordinaire Bob Kinzel started "Dateline Montpelier" 21 years ago. The Monday-to-Friday five-minute report was syndicated to as many as a dozen Vermont radio. ;stations. But itimes change. Now, with giants like Clear Channel gobbling up radio stations by the hundreds, local news has taken a big hit. So this month Mr. Kinzel is closing the door and signing off on "Dateline Montpelier" and joining the Vermont Public Radio news team full-time. Bob will continue to host VPR's "Switchboard," as well as a new monthly legislative callin program on Vermont Public Television. P.S. Bet you didn't know Mr. Kinzel is a New York City native and a graduate of Stanford.
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Happy Christmas — Ho ho ho! It's that time of year once again. Next week, we'll have Inside Tracks "Year in Review" special. And what a year it's been! The week after that, Seven Days is taking a vacation, That'll mean no Wednesday fix for all you Inside Track junkies on January 2. We'll be back on Wednesday, January 9, with all the latest on House Speaker Walter Freed & Go., the Dean for President Campaign, Anthony Pollina's big decision and more, as the Vermont Legislature returns to duty under Montpeculiar s golden dome. Best wishes to you and yours for a safe, cozy holiday season. Remember, we're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time. (7)
Let l e m sparkle
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december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
SEVEN D A Y S ,
page 3 7 a
sOUnd AdviCe WEDNESDAY
IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. JULIET MCVICKER W/TOM CLEARY & JOHN RIVERS (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), Ri R£ Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. J A M E S HARVEY QUARTET (jazz), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. S P E A K E A S Y (groove-rock), Nectar's, 10 p.m. NC. . SOUL KITCHEN W/DJ JUSTIN B. (acid jazz/house and beyond), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE W/JIMMY J A M S , Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC. DJS SPARKS, RHINO & HI ROLLA (hiphop/reggae), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ B A S H M E N T (reggae DJ), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. REGGAE NIGHT (Itation Sound, Full Spectrum Sound), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 pfm. NC/$5. 18+ before 11 p.m. KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DJ A. DOG (hip-hop/acid jazz/lounge), The Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC. LARRY BFETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVD ;), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC. CHROME COWBOYS & SPECIAL GUESTS (vintage country; annual Christmas party), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $6. 18+ KARAOKE W/BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. CHRIS K L E E M A N & M A L K U M GIBSON (acoustic blues),
HAVE A MERRIE CHRISTMAS With the help of guitar, mandolin,
ouzouki and even washing-
machine drone, Boston folk-rock queen Merrie Amsterburg weaves inventive instrumentation with yuignant lyrics. Her haunting voice can fill the largest of rooms, but she'll give a special holiday concert, with husband/accompanist Peter Linton, at the small and cozy Burlington Coffeehouse this Saturday.
Good Times Caf6, 7:30 p.m. $8. AA LADIES NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. O P E N MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. O P E N MIKELESS, Cambridge Coffee House, Dinner's Dunn Restaurant, 7 p.m. Donations.
20
THURSDAY
BLUE J E W E L LIGHT (acoustic jazz), Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 6:30 p.m. NC. E L L E N POWELL & MIKE SUCHER (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. BENJAMIN ROESCH & CAROLINE O'CONNOR (acoustic), Radio Bean, 8:30 p.m. NC. MATT'S CHOICE (DJ), Liquid Energy, 7:30 p.m. NC. T H E DETONATORS (blues/r&b), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. VIBE (DJ), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. PHIL ABAIR BAND (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. NC. LADIES NIGHT (DJ Joey K. ; games & prizes), Millennium NightclubBurlington, 9 p.m. NC/$5. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT (house), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. VORCZA (jazz-funk), Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC. ENTRAIN, CHAD, C H A U N C E Y (worldbeat/Calypso; pop rock), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $8. 18+ O P E N MIKE W/T-BONE, Backstage, 9 p.m. NC. JOHN CASSEL (jazz piano), Tavern at the Inn at Essex, 7 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/DAVID HARRISON, Sami's Harmony Pub, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC.
NC = NO COVER. A A = A L L A G E S .
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page 3 8 a
S E V E N DAYS
december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
J E W E L E R S inC.
7 8 C H U R C H STREET BURLINGTON, V T 8 0 2 / 6 5 8 - 0 3 3 3 Holiday Hours: M-F 9:30-8:45, Sat. 9:30-6, Sun 12-5
i
O P E N M I K E , Otter Creek Tavern,
where to go
9 p . m . NC. R O B W I L L I A M S (singer-songwriter), D o w n t o w n B i s t r o , 6 : 3 0 p . m . NC.
FRIDAY W I Z N B A R & G R I L L (live radio show), L i n c o l n Inn L o u n g e , 4 p . m . NC, f o l l o w e d by DJ S U P E R S O U N D S ( d a n c e party), 9 p . m . NC. P I C T U R E T H I S (jazz), U p p e r Deck Pub at t h e W i n d j a m m e r , 5 : 3 0 p . m . NC. DJ L I T T L E M A R T I N , 1 3 5 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. T H E R E D 4 (classic jazz), Radio Bean, 9 : 3 0 p . m . NC. B - T O W N S O U N D (DJs RJ & D u b m a g i c ) , L i q u i d Energy, 7 p . m . NC. GREG IZOR & HIS W E L L H U N G ORNAMENTS
(blues/rockabilly),
Halvorson's, 1 0 p . m . NC. R O D N E Y & T H E G A N G (acoustic), Sweetwaters, 9 p . m . NC. S A N D R A W R I G H T ( b l u e s diva),
DANCIN' IN THE SLEET
D e c i d e d l y un-tropical M a r t h a ' s V i n e y a r d is h o m e to the island-
Red S q u a r e , 9 : 3 0 p . m . N C . C O N S T R U C T I O N J O E (alt-rock),
h o p p i n g s k a a n d c a l y p s o - f u n k b a n d E n t r a i n . T h e i r w o r l d b e a t g r o o v e s a n d passionate live s h o w s a r e a prescription
Club Metronome, 8 p.m. $ 5 , followed by D A N C E T E R I A (DJ),
for the w i n t e r b l u e s . " T h e best t h e r a p y I c a n o f f e r , " c l a i m s drummer/founder T o m M a j o r , " i s to put on E n t r a i n a n d
1 0 p . m . NC. J A C K S Q U A T (rock), N e c t a r ' s ,
d a n c e a r o u n d the h o u s e n a k e d ! " S o u n d s p r o m i s i n g — but y o u ' l l h a v e to k e e p y o u r pants on w h e n the b a n d t a k e
9 : 3 0 p . m . NC. B O O T L E S S & U N H O R S E D (Irish), Rasputin's, 6 p . m . NC, f o l l o w e d
on H i g h e r G r o u n d this T h u r s d a y . C h a d a n d C h a u n c e y o p e n .
by T O P H A T D J , 1 0 p . m . N C / $ 2 . F U S I O N (hip-hop/reggae/dance;
S A N D B L I Z Z A R D ( r o c k ) , Trackside
9 p . m . NC.
DJs "Robbie J. & Toxic),
Tavern, 9 p . m . $ 3 .
M O N E Y S H O T ( m o d e r n rock),
Millennium Nightclub-
KARAOKE W/PETER BOARDMAN,
P i c k l e Barrel, 9 p . m . $ 8 .
B a c k s t a g e P u b , 9 p . m . NC.
L A M B S B R E A D (reggae),
S T U R C R A Z I E (rock), Edgewater
Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $ 3 - 5 .
T O P H A T DJ (Top 4 0 ) , R u b e n
Pub, 9 p . m . NC.
T H E P U L S E ( d a n c e b a n d ) , Rusty
James, 1 0 p . m . NC.
KARAOKE W/BONNIE DRAKE,
Nail, 9 p.m. $ 5 .
K A R A O K E , J.P.'s Pub, 9 p . m . NC.
K i n c a d e ' s , 9 p . m . NC.
D A V E K E L L E R B A N D (blues), Mad
P I C T U R E T H I S (jazz), W a i t i n g
K A R A O K E , Sami's Harmony Pub,
M o u n t a i n Tavern, 9 p . m . $ 4 .
Room, 1 1 p . m . NC.
9 p . m . NC.
J E N N I J O H N S O N (jazz), J.
S A L A D D A Y S (pop-rock), Vermont
D R E A M W E A V E R (DJ), G S t o p ,
M o r g a n ' s , 7 p . m . NC.
Pub & Brewery, 9 : 3 0 p . m . NC.
9 p . m . NC.
A U G U S T A B R O W N ( r o c k ) , Charlie
LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX
D A N C I N ' D E A N (line dancing),
O's, 1 0 p . m . NC.
(rock/urban DJ; DVDs), S h - N a -
Cobbweb, 7 : 3 0 p.m. $ 6 .
C H U N K (groove-rock), C o m p o s t
Na's, 8 p . m . $ 3 .
T A P E S T R Y (rock), M o n o p o l e ,
Art Ctr., 9 p . m . $ 5 . AA
Burlington, 9 p.m. $ 3 / 1 0 .
18+
before 1 1 p . m .
S T A R L I N E R H Y T H M B O Y S , RICK &
9 p . m . NC.
T H E R A M B L E R S ( h o n k y - t o n k boo-
C Y L I N D E R (rock), Franny O's,
gie, Western s w i n g ) , H i g h e r
9 p . m . NC.
Ground, 9 p . m . $ 7 . 1 8 +
S H O R T N O T I C E (rock), Otter Creek
A D A M S & E V E (rock), Henry's
Tavern, 9 : 3 0 p . m .
SATURDAY L A Z Y S O N G W R I T E R (indie-rock), Radio Bean, 8 : 3 0 p . m . NC. DJ L I T T L E M A R T I N , 1 3 5 Pearl, 1 0 p.m. $4. M E R R I E A M S T E R B U R G (singersongwriter; holiday show), Burlington Coffeehouse, 8 p.m. $ 8 . AA 8 0 8 4 (rock), Ri Rh Irish P u b , 1 0 p.m. $3. R E L E A S E ( B - T o w n S o u n d DJs), Nectar's, 9 : 3 0 p . m . NC. R E T R O N O M E (DJ; d a n c e p o p ) , Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $ 2 . G R I P P O F U N K B A N D , Red S q u a r e , 1 0 p . m . NC.
DJ D A N C E P A R T Y (Top H a t ; Top
Pub, H o l i d a y I n n , 9 p . m . NC.
4 0 / h i p - h o p / r & b ) , City Limits,
weekly
listings
continued on page 40a
on w w w . s e v e n d a y s v t . c o m
COURSE 1
A C o f f e e Menu that Breaks N e w Ground
^M M l '
Angela's Pub, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-6936. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Banana Winds, Town Market PI., Susie Wilson Rd., Essex Jet., 879-0752. Blue Tooth, Access Rd., Warren, 583-2656. Boonys Grille, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church S t , Burlington, 865-2711. Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 186 College SL, Burlington, 864-5888. Cactus Pete's, 7 Fayette Rd., S. Burlington, 863-1138. Cambridge Coffeehouse, Dinners Dunn Restaurant, Jeffersonville, 644-5721. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. Charlie O's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. City Limits, 14 Greene St. Vergennes, 877-6919. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Compost Ait Center, 39 Main St., Hardwick, 472-9613. Downtown Bistro, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 Main St., Burlington, 863-5966. Franny O's 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. G Stop, 38 Main St., St. Albans, 524-7777. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Heartwood Hollow Gallery Stage, 7650 Main Rd., Hanksville, 434-5830/888-212-1142. Hector's, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. J. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main St., Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. The Kept Writer, 5 Lake St., St. Albans, 527-6242. Kincade's, Rt. 7, Milton, 893-4649. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 Park St., Essex Jet., 878-3309. Liquid Lounge, Liquid Energy, 57 Church St., Burlington, 860-7666. Loretta's, 44 Park St., Essex Jet., 879-7777. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Mad River Unplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-8910. Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Matterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. Millennium Nightclub-Barre, 230 N. Main St., Barre, 476-3590. Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. Monopole, 7 Protection Ave., Pittsburgh, N.Y., 518-563-2222. Music Box, 147 Creek Rd., Craftsbuiy Village, 586-7533. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Otter Creek Tavern, 35c Green St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Parima's Jazz Room, 185 Pearl St., Burlington, 864-7917. Radio Bean, 8 N. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 660-9346. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Rl Rd the Irish Pub, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Rozzi's Lakeshore Tavern, 1072 West Lakeshore Dr., Colchester, 863-2342. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St., Burlington, 863-5637. Sami's Harmony Pub, 216 Rt. 7, Milton, 893-7267. Sh-Na-Na's, 101 Main St., Burlington, 865-2596. The Space, 182 Battery St., Burlington, 865-4554. Starksboro Community Coffee House, Village Meeting House, Rt. 116, Starksboro, 434-4254. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. 242 Main, Burlington, 862-2244. Upper Deck Pub at the Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Valencia, Pearl St. & S. Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 658-8978. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. The Village Cup, 30 Rt. 15, Jericho, 899-1730. The Waiting Room, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 862-3455. WineBa^TWir^
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SEVEN DAYS
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ceeds will go toward the medical expenses of Milton High School senior Rusty Baker, who has leukemia. Talk about wind beneath your wings... Tammy Fletcher is not only the unofficial benefit queen of Vermont, she's an animal lover! That's why the soulful chanteuse has lent her name and image to the Morrisvillebased North Country Animal League's "Home 4 the Holidays" campaign. The idea is to match dogs and kitties with adoptive families — Tammy herself rescued a handsome husky named Fidel (see photo). The campaign extends through January. For more info, contact 888-5065.
ONE MAIN ST. • WINOOSKI • INFO 654-8888 DOORS 8 PM • SHOW 9 PM unless noted ALL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE I.D. unless noted WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 19 • S5 AT DOOR THE 5TH ANNUAL HOLIDAY HD-OOWN
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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 20 • SB AT DOOR 104.7 THE POINT WELCOMES A DOUBLE CD RELEASE
ENTRAIN CHAD CHAUNCEY
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 21 * S 7 AT DOOR AN EVENING OF WESTERN SWING
R I C K & THE S STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS SATURDAY, DECEMBER 22 • S6 AT DOOR
TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES N O B B Y REED PROJECT FRIDAY, DECEMBER 28 • S10 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW
PORK TORNADO SATURDAY, DECEMBER 29 • SIS ADVANCE S20 DAY OF SHOW
STRANGEFOLK MONDAY, DECEMBER 31 • $25 ADVANCE $30 DAY OF SHOW DOORS 9PM | ON SALE NOWII
SEXTON SATURDAY, JANUARY 12 • $12 ADVANCE $14 DAY OF SHOW 104.7 THE POINT & SAM ADAMS WELCOME
JOHNNYA
SCOTT SYLVESTER
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 16 • $12 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW
NASHVILLE PUSSY THURSDAY, JANUARY 17 • $6 AT DOOR MIA'S BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA
DEEP SODA THE DAKOTA
RED HEADED STRANGERS • SPECIAL CUESTS FRIDAY, JANUARY I B . SB AT DOOR
LATIN QUARTER DANCE PARTY FREESALSA/MERENCUE DANCE LESSONS: 8PM
SINGLE TRACKS We've got word that former members of SirillS and The Semantics are forming a new "post-groove" unit, called — apparently a small section of Calais — was BIG EASY DOES IT Moving from Burlington Decepticons. Guitar, bass, drums, analog practically unheard of before The Calendar. to the bayou is no small feat — especially if synth — stay tuned for an update on this one The naked guy calendar, that is, called simply you miss snowflakes. But Greg Izor, a.k.a. . . Meanwhile, Burlington "post-rock" faves . "The Men of Maple Corner." Conceived "The Kid," has been furthering his education The Dakota are pushing their highly anticipatlocally as a fundraiser for the Maple Corner — higher and musical — in New Orleans, ed studio work into early January. What, is and, except for the swampy humidity, is liking Community Center and a takeoff, pardon the everything "post" n o w ? . . . Gregory Douglass pun, on The Full Monty, it has been featured it just fine. It doesn't hurt that the former celebrates his 21st birthday this week; guess on national television and has earned Maple local harmonica whiz has been honing his we can't call the Vermont singer-songwriter Corner a place on the map. Not to mention craft at the side of N'awlins blues legends, with the amazing voice a child prodigy anyraised nearly an astonishing half-million including an apprenticeship with harmonica more. Douglass is a special guest on Vermont bucks. That racy notoriety may be what master and erstwhile Ronnie Earl frontman Public Radio on New Year's Day — "All attracted occasional rocker Peg Tassey to Jumpin' Johnny Sansone. Besides, he says, Things Considered" host Neal Charnoff has book a gig at the renovated Community the food's great. This week, the Colchester invited him into the studio to chat and perCenter, which is basically in her neighbornative is back home for the holidays, and has form a live acoustic set with his music-mate, hood. January 5th, she takes the stage with put together a band with the festive moniker guitarist Jeremy Mendicino, during the lateEthan Azarian, a former Vermonter now livof Greg Izor and the Well Hung Ornaments, afternoon show. The two will be touring the ing in Austin who's back for the holidays and who will, um, let it all hang out this Friday at Northeast in support of their excellent new his annual dose of winter. Tassey promises a Halvorson's. Izor can also be found sitting in disc, Teeter . . . Trey Anastasio has been highrock show and "some crazy campfire songs" with former bandmates Jim Branca, Sunday profile and nearly hyper-active since at Nectar's, and Left Eye Jump, next Friday at Phish went on hiatus last year, while Red Square. the other three guys have pretty much stayed out of the limelight. December BARELY THERE Thanks to Field of Dreams, • 30, however, keyboardist Page even non-baseball fans know about "Shoeless McConnell serves up a special show of Joe," but "Shoeless Michael?" History might ^ ^ ^ I ^ F t pr <11 his own, with bassist Oteil Burbridge tag Spearhead frontman Michael Franti with (Allman Brothers, Aquarium Rescue the nickname — the guy hasn't worn shoes in Unit) and Funky Meters drummer three years, and counting. The "conscious" % i' Russell Batiste. Local swingers The poet/performer is certainly grounded and i f j f r Billionaires will open. Not surprisingeverything, but jeez... In a preview for the B i r iSr 4 ly, the concert is already sold o u t . . . band's show at Higher Ground in last week's 1 ' HSli J M ^ ^ ^ H Strangefolk please the home crowd Seven Days, writer Jeremy Kent commented . fjm • E l m with two local shows this holiday seamkmam that Franti would surely be shod this time of Tammy Fletcher and Fidel son — December 29 at Higher Ground year in snow-covered Vermont. He was wrong: and December 30 at the Rusty Nail. Franti was nailed at Stone Soup on Saturday with "various friends," followed by a "wild Keyboardist Scott Shdeed is leaving after a for having bare feet. You know the restaurant dance party." And don't get your hopes up, it year with the 'folk, and has been replaced — mantra: No shirt, no shoes, no service. Franti will be fully clothed. Tassey says she invited at least for the current tour — with Chico, told co-owner Avery Rifkin that he always the much-in-demand Men of Maple Corner California, player Don Scott. . . Meanwhile, manages to get into restaurants, and that peoto perform as go-go dancers, but there's no former Strangefolk frontman Reid Genauer ple don't usually look at his feet. Maybe it's word on how far they're willing to take this has launched his own Web site, with the because his top portion attracts all the attenthing. She's guesting on The Point January 3 straightforward address reidgenauer.com. tion — he's six-foot-six and sports serious at 7 p.m., and WRUV January 4 at 9 a.m., to Check out his kiddie poems — who knew? . . dreadlocks. Rifkin let him stay — for a little tell us all about it. Meanwhile, mark your calThat Signal to Noise 'zine just gets better all while. "Having not worn shoes as a lifestyle, endars. the time. Congrats to publisher/editor Pete not a piece of rebellion, that was good enough Gershon for a very handsome, fat 94-page for me," says Rifkin. "He did mention we DO GOOD DEPT. Benefits don't usually have" winter issue, which includes a mini interview were the first restaurant to say, 'What's up themes, but there's a bird thing going on this with James Kochalka Superstar amid all the with the bare feet?' I'm happy to be the first Saturday night at Sami's Harmony Pub. The avant-garde folks. But, hey, you could say JKS Mighty Loons are playing, and artist Kimberly — but I don't know that I'd let anyone do it is "experimental" — and his latest, Don't Trust Forney has donated a painting entitled "The again." Whitey, is getting lots qfcollege radio Loon." Sami's is selling raffle tickets for the airplay latter, and the whole "Loon-a-Palooza" proIN A CORNER Tiny Maple Corner, Vermont
SATURDAY, JANUARY 19 • $6 ADVANCE $8 DAY OF SHOW ALLAGESI 99.9 THE BUZZ & SAM ADAMS WELCOME
Band name of the week: Frosty & The Snowmen
THE ZAMBONIS
JAMES KOCHALKA SUPERSTAR BAG OF PANTIES
continued from page 3 9 a
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 23 • $15 ADVANCE $15 DAY OF SHOW
KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK ('80s Top Hat DJ), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. CLUB MIX (hip-hop/house; DJs trie, Robbie J. & Toxic), Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ (hip-hop, Top 40), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. JIM BRANCA (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. HOLLYWOOD FRANKIE (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3. S T E V E BLAIR QUARTET (jazz), Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC. T A M M Y F L E T C H E R & T H E DISCIPLES, NOBBY REED PROJECT (soul/rock; blues), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $6. 18+
GALACTIC
FRIDAY, JANUARY 25 • $16 ADVANCE $18 DAY OF SHOW
STEVE KIMOCKBAND SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2 • S16 ADVANCE $18 DAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN WELCOMES
APRIL W I N E MONDAY, FEBRUARY 4 • $8 ADVANCE $10 DAY OF SHOW EARLY SHOW: DOORS 7PM
COREY HARRIS
•
ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM, HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE, PURE POP RECORDS. UVM CAMPUS BOOKSTORE. PEACOCK MUSIC. OR CALL 800.965.4827
jpBK
THE HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE IS OPEN M-F FROM 11AM SELLING TICKETS TO UPCOMING EVENTS
B ^ page
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SEVEN DAYS
december 19, 2 0 0 1
ADAMS & E V E (rock), Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. SAND BLIZZARD (rock; Christmas party), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Backstage Pub, ' 9 p.m. NC. A L L E N BOUCHARD (classical & Spanish guitar), Loretta's Italian Restaurant, 6:30 p.m. NC. STUR CRAZIE (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. L00N-A-PAL00ZA W/THE LOONS & GUESTS (rock; benefit for Rusty Baker), Sami's Harmony Pub, 8 p.m. $5. DJ NIGHT, G Stop, 9 p.m. NC. 18+ WICKERMAN (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/FRANK, Franny O's, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE W/J0E RIVERS, Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC.
DJ DANCE PARTY (Top Hat; Top 40/hip-hop/r&b), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. M O N E Y SHOT (modern rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m. $8. J A L A P E N 0 BROS. (rock/Americana), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. T H E P U L S E (dance band), Rusty Nail, 9 p.m. $5. LIVE MUSIC, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. GREGORY DOUGLASS & J E R E M Y MENDICINO (singer-songwriter), Hyde Park Opera House, 8 p.m. $5/NC. AA S P E A K E A S Y (groove-rock), Compost Art Ctr., 9 p.m. $5. AA LIVE MUSIC, Blue Tooth, 9 p.m. $4.
SUNDAY
FABLES OF GEORGE W. (soul-less) Radio Bean, 8:30 p.m. NC. GREGORY DOUGLASS (singer-songwriter), Red Square, 7 p.m. NC. C0SA B U E N A (Latin jazz), Sweetwaters, 11:30 a.m. NC. L A S T NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), R1 Rh Irish Pub, 7 p.m. NC. T H E DIRTY BLONDES (rock opera), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. JIM BRANCA & T H E RED HOT INSTANT COMBO (jump blues; Christmas party), Nectar's, 9 p.m. NC.
continued on page 4 2 a
CLASS C L O W N , SCHOOL'S
A CIRCUS (self-released, EP CD) —
Coming straight out'ta Rutland, Class Clown play by-the-numbers poppunk with equal parts energy, enthusiasm and attitude. In six short songs, these guys — ages 12 to 15 — pull a page from the Blink-182 songbook, pinning singsong melodies to basic chord progressions and ending up with a very fun and listenable disc. Punk rock isn't rocket science, and neither is high school (or middle school, for that matter), so the rudimentary song structures do a fine job of fitting the mood. My roommate says they sound like the bastard children of Blink-182 and Burlington sixth-graders The Dares. It's kinda true, but let's be fair. School's a Circus is recorded pretty well, giving an honest reproduction of a young band on the way up-(
"Just Another Day" and "Light Up Ahead" are the standout tracks, rocking out in smileinducing, toe-tapping fashion. The songs are fast and poppy, with good harmonies and catchy hooks. They're likable, though sometimes you might enjoy the lyrics for the wrong reasons. Can you blame me for loving lines like: "She's evil/and she's coy/and she's set out to/seek and destroy," from "Seek and Destroy?" Or the really harsh critique: "I hate your shoes," from "When White Men Wear White SHSes." They also warn: "Don't walk in the mud/don't mow the lawn/the grass will turn them green." They may be sneering and bratty, but Class Clown is nonetheless charming. This is punk with the kind of exuberance that comes from being new. I honestly can't stop listening to it. And I look forward to whatever pranks Class Clown turn out next. — Colin Clary
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(Eatherlee Records,
CD) — Jenni Johnson is on a mission to bring back the black female blues and jazz singers from the 1920s through the 1940s. Actually, Ma Rainey, Billie Holiday, Dinah Washington, Nina Simone, Etta James and Roberta Flack have never ceased influencing contemporary music, but the hard-working Burlington chanteuse revives them by performing their songs as they might have sounded decades ago. With her latest live release, 'Black Pearl', In Concert, Johnson sings an impressive variety of songs from this rich period of American music, while offering a crash course in the lives of the women she is honoring. A lesser singer would not have been able to pull off this daunting task, but Johnson shows she has the startling range that good blues singers have, effortlessly shifting from heartbreak to happiness. 1 Black Pearls' opens with the Ma (Gertrude) Rainey blues standard, "See See Rider," and the Bessie Smith tune, "St. Louis Blues." Johnson sounds comfortable performing these songs about women getting ready to leave bad relationships. Her voice has the swagger and defiance necessary to create the sense of heartbreak in packing your bags for an unknown destination. The somber tone is lifted on the sixth song, "Swing Brother, Swing," made famous by Holiday. The change in mood is welcome, but the song doesn't swing as much as the title implies. Johnson sounds more natural singing slower and more emotional songs, like the i P l l l T i i B w I l l l ^ l l B ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ B Dinah Washington classic I that follows, "What a I DifFrence a Day Makes." Younger pop music fans might find it odd to I ^ I W ^ ^ ^ n p l l ^ l ^ ^ H I I hear Flack's "Killing Me Softly," if they know only I the Fugees' late '90s verI sion. "Kids think that this H is their song — I don't I think so," Johnson says I playfully on stage, deterI mined to teach twentysomethings about the roots of their music. Johnson names these tunes after the black pearls found in the South Pacific islands, and she makes a point to mention that specialized divers are required to bring them to the surface. Johnson is one of these "divers," plunging into the depths of music history. She performs at J. Morgan's in Montpelier this Friday, and on New Year's Eve manages do three gigs — afternoon at First Night Montpelier, early evening at the Waiting Room in Burlington, and Mary's at Baldwin Creek in Bristol at night. —Jason King
A3JSM3!A3JSM3!A3JSM3!A3J
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Vermont's alternative
webweekly|
look bust.
Diane Zeigler and Patti Casey 8 Redwing 5-6 pm Flynn Center Mainstage
First Night Bluegrass Gospel Project 7-7:45 pm ,st Congregational Church
Patti Casey fi Redwing and First Night Bluegrass Gospel Project 11 pm-i2:i5 am Flynn Center Mainstage presenting
www.firstnightburlington.com For more info call 863-6005 or toll free 800-639-9252 december 19, 2001
Flynn M a i n s t a g e sponsor:
sponsor First Night Burlington:
KevBank SEVEN DAYS
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sOUnd AdviCe
YEAR'S
EX,T-
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SUNDAY, DECEMBER 30
STRANGEFOLK
$15 in advance, $20 day of show 2h. Tickets available at The Rusty Nail Flynntix 86-FLYNN, ;r. sponsored Onion River Arts 229-9908 ^
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Vermont's Largest New Year's Bash!!!!!! featuring New England's Best Party Band: MONDAY, DECEMBER 31
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SING ME BACK HOME
Burlington isn't exactly Waycross,\
Georgia, but the vintage country and 10-gallon Western swing of The Starline Rhythm Boys, Chrome Cowboys and Rick & the Ramblers sure crosses the Mason-Dixon line. Higher Ground hosts two hoe-downs this week: The annual Chrome Cowboys Christmas party — with loads of special guests — is Wednesday, and Starline whoops it up with the Ramblers on Friday. So quit cryin' in your beer and come on down.
continued from page 4 0 a SUNDAY NIGHT MASS (DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $2. T E E N NITE W/DJIRIE, Millennium Nightclub-Burlington, 8 p.m. $8. Under 20. HIP-HOP DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+ KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m.NC. 1
MONDAY
MONDAY NIGHT G A L L E R Y , Nectar's, 9 p.m. NC.
f
s
TUESDAY MERRY CHRISTMAS! PUB QUIZ (trivia game w/prizes), Ri R&, 8:30 p.m. NC. DAIRY-FREE ('80s pop DJ), Nectar's, 9 p.m. NC.
*iliini l t l a i 7~ iiiiaiiiiitti
TSONGAS ARENA DECEMBER 31 • 9PM ON SALE NOW!
www.dispatchmusic.com
Tickets available by calling 8 0 2 - 8 6 2 - 5 3 0 0 or at the Tsongas Arena Box Office and all ticUetmaster henicieisAi locations or ticketmaster.com. For more information call 9 7 8 - 8 4 8 - 6 9 0 0 or www.paultsongasarena.com !0G.COM l " I
p e a s e n o t e t h a t al1 ' date(s), act(s) a n d time(s) a r e s u b j e c t t o c h a n g e w i t h o u t notice. T i c k e t p r i c e s m a y i n c l u d e o r b e s u b j e c t t o r e s t o r a t i o n a n d / o r f a c i l i t y m a i n t e n a n c e f e e s a n d / o r c h a r i t a b l e d o n a t i o n s u r c h a r g e s . A s e r v i c e c h a r g e w i l l be a d d e d t o t h e p r i c e of e a c h ticket. A Clear C h a n n e l Event. '
WEDNESDAY
IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. " JULIET MCVICKER W/TOM CLEARY &
JOHN RIVERS (jazz), Leunig's, 7:30 p.m. NC. LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish), RT RS Irish : Pub, 7 p.m. NC. C J A M E S H A R V E Y QUARTET (jazz), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. : RICK REDDINGTON (rock), Nectar's, ~ 9:30 p.m. NC. S O U L KITCHEN W/DJ JUSTIN B. (acid jazz/house and beyond), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. O P E N MIKE W/JIMMY JAMS, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p!rtu NC. , DJSSPAlhJ: • hop/regg. -5 NC/$7. 18+ T E E N NITE W/ DJ IRIE & ROBBIE J , 1 (Hip-hop), Millenium NightclubBurlington, 8 p.m. $8. Under 2 0 B A S H M E N T (reggae DJ), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. '3;>Hi KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DJ A. DOG (hip-hop/acid jazz/lounge), Waiting Room, 11 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC, KARAOKE W/BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. '; LADIES NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. :•', O P E N MIKE, Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. ® .
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CASH & CARRY S H O W , arts and crafts in all media, ready to take home. Ca-tamount Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7482600. Reception December 21, 3-7 p.m. A NATION IN T H O U G H T , works of art by 15 artists to inspire world peace and understanding of religious and cultural diversity. Art Space 150 at the Men's Room, Burlington, 8 6 4 - 2 0 8 8 . Reception December 23, 5-8 p.m.
NOR'EASTER, paintings by Robert Waldo Brunelle. Sneakers Bistro Cafe, Winooski, 899-1106. Through December.
HOWARD ROMERO, pan-scenic photographs. Wine Works, Burlington, 865-7166. Through February. C H E A P ART HOLIDAY S A L E , paintings and drawings by Karen Dawson. Speeder & Earl's, 4 1 2 Pine St., Burlington, 658-6016. Through December. HAND MADE VT, paintings by Michael Smith. Village Cup, Jericho, 8991730. Through December. BRIGHT M O M E N T S , handmade prints by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 2 5 6 3 . Through February 5. ILLUMINATION, new work by Art Blue and Donna Constantineau. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 7 2 0 0 . Through January 2. VERNISSAGE 2002, a group exhibit of 3 4 local and national artists represented by the gallery. Doll-Anstadt
Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through January. H O M E FOR T H E HOLIDAYS, new and juried works including children's books and original pastels by Phoebe Stone, pottery by Simon Pearce, oneof-a-kind plates by Pat Laffin and Shaker boxes by Brian Harding. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Burlington, 8 6 3 - 6 4 5 8 . Through December. SHIVA, photographs by Rose McNulty and sculpture by H. Keith Wagner. Church & Maple Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 3 - 3 8 8 0 . Through January 2. PIECES OF PROPAGANDA, photo and collage works by Rebecca Mack. Radio Bean, Burlington, 660-9346. Through December. GROUP HOLIDAY EXHIBIT, new work by 15 artists. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 9 8 5 - 3 8 4 8 . Through January 18.
FROM M Y WINDOW A N D OTHER THINGS, wildlife photographs by Donna Underwood-Owens. Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Through December. J0HANNE DUR0CHER, watercolor and acrylic paintings. Cafe Piccolo, Burlington, 862- 5515. Through December. YOUNG ARTIST SERIES, an exhibit to benefit the Landmine Elimination Foundation, featuring photographs by Andy Duback, Jason Robinson, Peter Johnson and Jing Q. Hu, paintings by Grace Corcoran Rao and sculpture by Katherine Clear. Main Street Landing Building, One Main St., Burlington, 864-1557. Through December. GROUP EXHIBITION featuring fabric art by Dianne Shullenberger, metal sculpture by Jack Chase, blown glass by Casey McMains, books by Maggie Wolf, raku pottery by Irene LaCroix, paintings by Julie Y. Baker Albright and more. Dianne Shullenberger Gallery, 228 Nashville Rd., Jericho, 899-4993. Weekends, through December. KIMBERLEY POWELL, pen & ink drawings. Uncommon Grounds, Burlington, 865-6227. Through December. LISA A N G E L L , oil pastels. Chittenden Bank, Burlington, 864-1557. Through December. SPY.CAM, pen-and-ink drawings of people by Abby Manock. Chain Reaction, 1 Lawson Lane, Burlington, 863-6627. Through January 1. RECOLLECTIONS, paintings, photomosaic portraits and landscapes by Meryl Lebowitz. Amy E. Tarrant Gallery, Flynn Center, Burlington, 863-5966. Through December. DRESSED IN ART, ALTERED, featuring clothing as artwork by Maggie Neale, M.D. Huddleston, Emily Anderson, Uli Beleky, Lizzy Betts, Jude Bond and many others. Flynndog Gallery, Burlington, 863-2227. Through December. FIRE & WATER, photographs of adventures involving forest fires, rivers and oceans, by Jay Monahan. Smokejacks, Burlington, 658-1119. Through December. RECORD DEAL, an evolving installation by Clark Russell. Club Metronome, Burlington, 862-3779. Ongoing. NEW WORK IN WOOD, a group show featuring works in the medium; WEAVING T H E PATTERNS OF T H E LAND: PRESERVING INCA T E X T I L E TRADITIONS, textile works by contemporary Inca weavers, and documentary color photographs by David VanBuskirk; and THEMATIC WORKS ON PAPER, featuring European and American traditions of landscape, portraiture, genre and still life in works spanning the 17th to 20th centuries. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. All through December 16, then museum closes until January 15. THE COLLECTOR'S HOUSE, a new building envisioning the home of a 21stcentury folk art collector, designed by architect Adam Kalkin and decorated by Albert Hadley. Shelburne Museum, 985-3348. Through October 2003.
JOAN DAVIDSON, photographs from around the world. Capitol Grounds, Montpelier, 223-7800. Through December. INTERSECTION, paintings by Susan Dygert. City Hall Art Space, Montpelier, 2 2 9 - 9 4 1 6 . Through January 8. TINKA M A R T E L L , art works in torn paper, fabric and inks. Spotlight Gallery, Vermont Arts Council, Montpelier, 8 2 8 - 5 4 2 2 . Through December. PLAYING WITH HALF A DECK, a group exhibit celebrating the 26th anniversary of the Art Resource Association. T.W. Wood Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 828-8743. Through December 23. V E R M O N T ARTISTS* HOLIDAY SHOW, featuring drawings by Joan Curtis and Don Ramey; ceramics by Mariel Pitti; sculpture by Patrick Farrow, Charles Austin, Steve Humphrey and Steve Spatz; prints by Carolyn Shattuck; and photography by Chris Mathewson. Carving Studio & Sculpture Center Gallery, Rutland, 438-2097. Through December 23. HOLIDAY EXHIBIT, featuring more than 30 artists in multiple media. Blinking Light Gallery, Plainfield, 454-0141. Through December 24. PHOTOGRAPHIC SCULPTURE: V E R M O N T ENVIRONS — SCIENCE & T E C H N O L O G Y , an installation by Orah Moore and Tari Prinster commissioned for Morrill Hall, Vermont Technical College, Randolph Center, 828-5422. Ongoing. K E N N E T H P. 0CHAB, new landscape oil paintings, and works by other Vermont artists Keith Davidson, Kathleen Bergeron, Gertrude Belloso and Joyce Kahn. Goldleaf Gallery, Waitsfield, 279-3824. Ongoing. REED A. PRESCOTT III, oil paintings of garden scenes and landscapes. Vermont Supreme Court, Montpelier, 828-4784. Through December 21. PAINTED POTS: T H E ART OF MAJOLICA, a group exhibit of works with roots in the Middle East, Spain and Italy. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 2441126. Through December.
"Greg Hill, Waterbury Center," by Peter Miller BY MARC
M
aybe it's time to declare Peter Miller
Vermont's official photographer laureate. Though he's not just a photographer — he is also an author and publisher whose coffee-table classic, Vermont People, has sold 15,000 copies. His current exhibition at the Mist Grill in Waterbury is also Vermont-centric, but Miller has exhibited internationally and produced books focused on Paris and the Great Plains of America. On the heels of the display of his World Trade Center photographs — auctioned off at the Mist Grill in November to benefit victims of the 9/11 disaster in New York — Miller has hung the far more bucolic "Vermont in Black and White." He has a particularly keen vision of what the Vermont landscape is about, and his works probe the structure of what he sees in a way that transcends simple Vermont-postcard photography. A wide-angle shot of two woodlots, surrounded by a snowy field, at first appears to be islands in Lake Champlain. In fact they are islands of trees in an agricultural landscape in Peacham. Miller's horizon is low, emphasizing the open space of the scene. The lots appear as overlapped dark forms in an expanse of whiteness — field and sky meld together. A distant row of naked trees provides scale enough to show that the wood lots are completely encircled by the field. "Trapp Family Highlander" is a portrait of a wooly, prehistoric-looking beast with long horns; clumps of snow have made its coat freeze into dreadlocks. The cow fills the frame and looks straight at the viewer. Snow is falling on its pasture, and a distant silhouette of shadowy trees encloses the space. The tops of the trees form a gently curved line, which is echoed by the curvature of the long horns. The beast is strange enough to engage any general viewer, while the abstract organization of the entire image is sophisticated enough to catch the eye of more jaded formalists. That dual nature of Miller's work confirms it as great photography.
NORTHERN
CHAMPLAIN VALLEY
mundane to the
monumental with
his use of black-and-
white photography-
a medium that seems
to lend any subject more drama
SOUTHERN
V E R M O N T WATERCOLOR SOCIETY, works by more than 6 0 artists from around the state. Southern Vermont Arts Center, Manchester, 4 5 7 - 2 0 2 0 . Through January 9. HOME FOR T H E HOLIDAYS, featuring woodcut prints and other work by Stephen Huneck. Stephen Huneck Gallery, Woodstock, 4 5 7 - 3 2 0 6 . Through December.
BR00KFIELD ARTISTS & CRAFTERS, artists who meet weekly exhibit their watercolors, baskets and quilts. Chandler Gallery, Randolph, 7283232. Through January 20. CLACK UP TO NOW, impressionistic paintings by Paul Clack. La Brioche Bakery & Cafe, City Center, " Montpelier, 229-4762. Through December. '• r " *
ELSEWHERE
HOLIDAY GATHERING EXHIBIT, featuring folk-art Santas and angels, metal salvage sculpture, rugs, linens, quilts and more by local artists and craftspeople. Cupola House Gallery, Essex, N.Y., 518-963-7494. Through December 23.
•k
continued on page 46a S * S& _ S- V
"Coon Tracks" seems to be a found image from the natural environment, but it is put together like a Miro painting. The space is flat, Miller's camera was pointed directly at the ground, and snow once again provides contrasts of light and dark. Pine needles, twigs, a pine cone and raccoon tracks populate the picture plane. The needles make staccato lines, and the slightly curved pine cone and paw prints provide variations of mass. It's impossible to know how many shots Miller took before he found such an exquisite square yard of snow, but though the visual elements seem to have been arranged by chance, the finished photograph is a product of discernment, technical expertise and insight. "Dunsmore Farm" and "Wolcott" include rural architecture, and Miller contrasts values here without the benefit of snow. "Wolcott" in particular is reminiscent of Walker Evans' hardscrabble scenes: At the intersection of a rural road, an American flag waves above a tree that has three upturned, cutoff limbs. At right are a mailbox on a post and a farmhouse, and a tall pine appears up a slight rise on the left. This stop on a rural route has been made particular by the hoisting of a flag. "Dunsmore Farm" is also an accumulation of geometric shapes — Miller has clearly noted interesting angles, shadows and textures in the farm buildings. Rooflines punctuated by cupolas loom against a gray sky, a silo rises in the background. Miller elevates the mundane to the monumental with his use of black-and-white photography — a medium that seems to lend any subject more drama. In an artist's statement Miller writes, "When I photograph, I become my subject, and the camera no longer exists: I am weightless, out of body, I live within my subject." Indeed, the Waterbury-based photographer's works transcend mere "pictures" of things. In addition to being technically accomplished, they make poetic visual statements about the inner lives of people and their places. ®
Miller elevates the
MY FAVORITE THINGS, an annual festival of Christmas trees, and vintage European ski posters from the Dana Collection. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through December 30. HOLIDAY SHOW, featuring work by Carolyn Walton, Julie Y. Baker Albright, Elizabeth Allen, Gary Sudol, Lisa Angell, Bob Aiken, Allen Dwight, Jan Brough and Peter A. Miller. Sales will benefit scholarships for art students at Vermont state colleges. Vermont Fine Art Gallery, Stowe, 253-9653. Through December. VIEWS OF T H E KINGDOM, mixedmedia, paintings and tapestries inspired by the Northeast Kingdom by Barbara Porter. Windhorse Commons, Octagon Building, St. Johnsbury, 748-3792. Through January.
NEW WORKS by students and instructors. Creative Space, Rutland, 7734350. Through January. VERMONT IN BLACK AND WHITE, scenic photographs by Peter Miller. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 2442233. Through January 6. TAKE IT HOME: REAL ART FOR R E A L PEOPLE, 3 0 artists exhibit works in various media. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7241. Through January 12.
AWODEY
f
"Vermont in Black and White," photographs by Peter Miller. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury. Through January 6.
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Pictured, "Astroid with Owl. "
PIRANESI-GOYA, 3 0 0 prints created by two of the 18th-19th century's greatest printmakers, and DISASTERS OF WAR, 19th-century prints by Francisco Goya and contemporary counterparts by British artists Jake and Dinos Chapman. Through February 3. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-2000.
PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted. Send art listings to galleries@sevendaysvt. com. You can also view art listings at www.
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VANILLA SKY**1/2 While the reteaming of Cameron {Jerry Maguire) Crowe and Tom Cruise falls far short of expectations one might reasonably have for it, the film does prove successful on a level or two. What it succeeded most thoroughly in doing was making me want to see the movie on which it is based. Alejandro Amenabar's 1997 Open Your Eyes is a challenging and highly original movie megatrip. When Cruise happened to catch the Spanish directors film, he liked it so much he bought the rights to it, and brought it to Crowe with the idea of creating an English-language version. I had reservations about the plan but held out hope. Having now seen Crowes highly Americanized adaptation, however, it occurs to me how surprising it is the actor would go this way again so soon after Eyes Wide Shut. I wonder whether Amenabar's original possesses as significant a trippiness-just-for-the-sake-of-trippiness factor. Crowes opening sequence is a case in point: We're introduced to Cruise's character, a shallow Manhattan playboy who's inherited a publishing fortune from his father, in a series of short scenes which show him waking, dressing, driving to the office and finding himself in the middle of Times Square without another living soul in sight. It's in the ads, trailers and press glossies. The star and director have made a point of incorporating the clip into virtually every television interview they've done on the promotional circuit. It's a somewhat interesting, semi-surreal sequence, but here's the problem: Poof. Cruise wakes up for real. It was just a dream. What does it mean? We're on to the next bit of cinematic sleight-of-hand before there's time to absorb and decide. Hey, the studio has asked reviewers not to reveal the film's ending. It didn't say anything about the beginning. The story is told from a fractured, jumbled vantage point, with lots of confusing leaps and flashbacks. Over time, the viewer comes to understand that Cruise has survived a cataclysmic auto wreck, often wears a plastic mask to conceal his disfigured face, and has been arrested for murder. Through interviews with his court-appointed psychiatrist, played by Kurt Russell, he retraces the path that led him to prison. What seems to have happened goes something like this: He enjoyed a casual sexual relationship with an unbalanced but babeliscious woman played spookily by Cameron Diaz. He throws himself a birthday bash,
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HOW HIGH Rap artists Method Man and Redman are coupled for this comedy about buds who get into Harvard after smoking some magical buds. With Fred Willard. (R) JIMMY NEUTRON: BOY GENIUS From the folks at Nickelodeon comes the animated adventures of a 10-year-old who saves the world from forces of
declines to invite her and, when she shows up anyway, flaunts his interest in a female guest (Penelope Cruz), with whom he eventually spends the night talking and falling in love. As he leaves her apartment in the morning, a most improbable thing occurs. Cruise is about to get into his car just below her window, when Diaz pulls up and says she wants to talk about their relationship, and he leaves with her. Right. v Anyway, Diaz has blown a gasket, starts speeding through busy streets and steers her car off a bridge. That explains the disfigured face. The middle of the film is a kaleidoscopic but plodding muddle, with . Tom looking like something out of a Frances Bacon > painting, trying to resume his one-day romance with * Cruz, despairing when that doesn't go as swimmingly as he'd hoped, severing ties with an old friend and insisting to his shrink that he can't be guilty because there was no murder. Every now and then, he walks through one of many Aldous Huxley-style funhouse doors and encounters something flipped out. In one scene, a stranger who'd been following him approaches in a loud, crowded restaurant and informs him that he, Cruise, is God and master of all he sees, while asking him want he wants. For everyone in the place to just shut up, Tom hisses. Eerily, they all do, each of the eatery's patrons silently looking to the confused Cruise for their cue. Vanilla Sky has a handful of such moments. They're far-out fun, but too few and frustratingly far between. The biggest bugaboo, though, is the picture's surprise ending, and the extent to which it fails to account in a satisfying manner for everything seemingly surreal that's led up to it for two hours. I'll only say that it's not in the same league as the surprise in The Sixth Sense. Rather, it's the latest addition to a long list of films that have attempted to equal that one's mind-blowing, last-minute jolt. Cruise's performance is periodically commanding. Crowe displays a deft touch here and a knack for savvy soundtrack choices there. And the script attempts to say something meaningful about the preciousness of life's little things. But in the end, Vanilla Sky proves less a fiesta for the frontal lobe than a pedestrian exercise in now-you-see-it-now-you-don't moviemaking. It's the difference between truly inspired magic and a cheap trick. ®
outer-space evil, with a little help from his robot dog. John A. Davis directs. Patrick Stewart, Martin Short and Rob Paulsen head the voice cast. (G) JOE SOMEBODY The latest from Tim Allen tells the comic story of a divorced father who takes a beating in front of his daughter and then decides to take martial arts lessons from a trainer, played by Jim Belushi. Patrick Warburton costars. John Pasquin
directs. (PG) LORD OF T H E RINGS: T H E FELLOWSHIP OF T H E RING Elijah Wood and Liv Tyler star in Peter Jackson's big-screen take on J.R.R. Tolkien's beloved classic about hobbits, wizards, elves and a boy who saves the world from the forces of darkness. (PG-13) T H E MAJESTIC Frank (The Green Mile) Darabont gives Stephen King a break and takes a turn for the Capraesque with the feel-good saga of a young
man who loses his memory and winds up in a small town mistaken for someone else. Jim Carrey, Martin Landau and Laurie Holden star. (PG)
shorts * = R E F U N D , PLEASE ** = COULD'VE ***
BEEN
WORSE,
= HAS ITS MOMENTS;
**** *****
= SMARTER =
THAN
AS GOOD AS IT
BUT NOT A
LOT
SO-SO THE AVERAGE
BEAR
GETS
A M E L I E * * * 1 ' 2 Audrey Tautou plays a Parisian waitress who discovers a box of childhood mementos in her apartment, returns it to its owner and changes both their lives forever in this highly acclaimed romance from Alien Resurrection director Jean-Pierre Jeunet. (R) BEHIND E N E M Y L I N E S * * 1 7 2 Owen Wilson and Gene Hackman suit up for director John Moore's military thriller about a pilot who's shot down while taking incriminating surveillance photos. David Keith costars. (PG-13) F O C U S * * * 1 7 2 Neil Slavin adapts Arthur Miller's 1945 novel about a man with glasses mistaken for a Jew in WWII-era Brooklyn. William H. Macy and Laura Dern star. (PG-13) GLEANERS A N D | « * l / 2 | n her latest film, seventysomething French director Agnes Varda sheds light on the little-seen life of the "gleaners" — p e o ple who live in the countryside and scavenge in potato fields, apple orchards and vineyards. (NR) HARRY POTTER A N D T H E SORCERER'S S T O N E * * * Chris Columbus' big-screen version of the J.K. Rowling best-seller is solid, fanciful fun for the initiated, but can prove periodically perplexing for anyone not already steeped in Harry-related lore. Daniel Radcliffe stars. JUMP T O M O R R O W * * * * Director Joel Hopkins' big-screen debut is a romantic comedy about a young NigerianAmerican who falls in love with a vibrant Latina woman just as he's about to be married. (PG-13) K - P A X * * 1 7 2 Gene Brewer's 1995 bestseller makes it to the big screen in the latest from lain Softley, the story of a mysterious figure who one day appears at Grand Central Station and announces that he's a being from another planet. Jeff "Starman" Bridges plays the shrink authorities ship him off to at the speed of light. (PG-13) LIFE AS A H O U S E * * 1 7 2 Kevin Kline stars in the story of an architect who learns he's dying and decides to
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spend his remaining time building the house of his dreams and reconciling with his teen-age son. Hayden Christensen costars. Irwin Winkler directs. (R) MONSTERS, I N C . * * * 1 7 2 The new film from the computer whizzes behind Toy Story features the voices of Billy Crystal and John Goodman and is set in the creepy creature capital of Monstropolis, where special portals connect the city to bedroom closets of children they terrorize. Peter Docter and David Silverman direct. (G) NOT A N O T H E R T E E N M O V I E * * Director Joel Gallen makes his feature debut with this Airplane!s\y\e send-up featuring, among others, Mia Kirshner, Jaime Pressly, Joy Bisco and Randy Quaid. (R) N O V O C A I N E * * * David Atkins wrote and directed this dark comedy about a dentist who finds himself drawn into a bizarre murder plot by a mysterious patient. Steve Martin and Helena Bonham Carter star. (R) OCEAN'S E L E V E N * * 1 7 2 Oscar-winning director Steven Soderbergh remakes the 1960 heist classic about a group of pals who rob three Las Vegas casinos in a single night. Standing in for the Rat Pack is the cast of the year: George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Don Cheadle, Julia Roberts and Bill Murray. (PG-13) OUT C O L D * * Jason London and Zach Galifianakis play hard partying, girl chasing, snowboarding buddies in the latest comedy from the directing team of the Malloys. With Lee Majors. (PG13) SHALLOW H A L * * * Nobody has ever accused the Farrellys of getting heavy in their films, but the brothers take on the weighty issue of inner beauty in their latest — the saga of a guy who falls for an ultra-tubby woman but sees only the supermodel within. Jack Black and Gwyneth Paltrow star. Burlington's Rene Kirby plays a role. (PG-13) SPY G A M E * * * 1 7 2 Brad Pitt and Robert Redford are paired in the latest thriller from Tony Scott, the saga of a CIA operative who winds up in a Chinese prison and the mentor who spends his last day on the job trying to break him out. (R) VANILLA S K Y * * 1 7 2 Cameron Crowe and Tom Cruise reteam for the first time since Jerry Maguire. This time around, they tell the story of a playboy who finally finds the true love that will redeem him, just as a psycho, suicidal ex barges back into his life.
S
Vermont's
With Penelope Cruz and Cameron T • Diaz. (R) Z O O L A N D E R * * 1 7 2 Ben Stiller cowrote and directed this Austin Powers-reminiscent comedy about a male model who uncovers a plot to turn professional fashion plates into unwitting assassins. With Owen Wilson and Milla Jovovich. (PG-13)
other screenings
CATAMOUNT ARTS CENTER, St. Johnsbury, 748-2600. LIAM This film by Stephen Frears tells the life and times of one small boy in Depression-era Liverpool. December 19-20, 7 p.m. INNOCENCE Two people who were lovers as teen-agers discover each other again in their late sixties. December 2 1 & 22, 7 p.m.; December 23, 1:30 p.m. ABERDEEN A newly successful woman receives a call from her estranged mother who begs her to go to Sweden to find her alcoholic father. December 2 1 & 22, 9 p.m.; December 23 & 26, 7 p.m.
the hoyts cinemas
FiLMQuIZ
cosponsored by Healthy Living Natural Foods Market
what's wrong with
these pictures? Above are photos of six of the best-known actors in the business. Their faces are unmistakable, but less recognizable, perhaps, is what five of the six have in common professionally. What we'd like from you this week is the name of the star who doesn't belong, along with the reason why.
new on video
MOULIN R O U G E * * * * The latest from Baz Luhrmann pairs- Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman for a musical about a 19th-century poet who immerses himself in the decadence of Paris' Montmartre district, where he comes under the spell of a sultry singing courtesan. John Leguizama costars. (R) T H E PRINCESS D I A R I E S * * * Garry Marshall directs this comedy about a 16-year-old New Yorker who's surprised to find out she's the sole heir to the throne of Genovia. With Julie Andrews and Robert Schwartzman. (G) SCARY MOVIE 2 (no stars) The tag to the Wayans brothers' $ 1 5 7 million surprise hit promised there wouldn't be a sequel, but the day of its premiere their studio ordered one up. This time around, the two spoof haunted-house movies and are joined by Chris Elliot, Tori Spelling and Tim Curry. Big brother Keenan Ivory Wayans directs. (R) VERTICAL RAY OF THE S U N * * * * From Vietnamese filmmaker Tran Anh Hung comes this critically praised look at the lives of three sisters and the secrets they try to keep from one another. (PG-13)
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WHO?. WHY?. For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday and Sunday on News Channel 5! LAST WEEK'S
WINNERS
TIMOTHY HOLTON DARREN MERCIER BEN FITZGERALD STEVE L E E JASON NOYES CRAIG TUCKER TIM FORREST BETTY BAILEY ROSE SIMPSON JANE KRUPP
LAST WEEK'S
ANSWERS
1 . J A Y A N D S I L E N T BOB STRIKE BACK 2. H A R R Y P O T T E R A N D T H E SORCEROR'S S T O N E €
3. RAT RACE
§
4. 0 BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?
1 I
DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK. IN THE EVENT OF A TIE, WINNER CHOSEN BY LOTTERY. SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ, PO BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495. OR EMAIL TO ultrfnprd@aol.com. BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR TO SIX WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES.
All shows daily unless otherwise indicated. * = New film. Film times may change. Please call theaters to confirm. BIJOU CINEPLEX 1-2-3-4 Rt. 100, Morrisville, 888-3293* Wednesday 19 — thursday 20 Ocean's Eleven 1, 3:30, 6:50, 9:10. Harry Potter 12:15, 3:15, 6:15, 9. Spy Games 12:40, 3:40, 6:30, 9:15. Monsters, Inc. 12, 2, 4, 6, 8. friday 21 — thursday 27 Ocean's Eleven 3:40, 9:10. Harry Potter 12:45, 6:15. Lord of the Rings* 12, 3:30, 7. Jimmy Neutron* 12:15, 2:15, 4, 6:40, 8:30. The Majestic* 12:30, 3:20, 6:30, 9. Joe Somebody* (12/26only) 12:45, 2:40, 4:30, 6:50, 9:05. Closed Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
CINEMA NINE
11:40, 2, 4:20, 7 (Wed-Thurs.), 7:10 (Fri.Mon.). 9:25 (not Mon.). Ocean's Eleven 11:05, 12:10 (Wed.-Thurs.), 1:50, 3:10 (Wed.-Thurs.), 4:35, 6:40 (Wed.-Thurs.), 7:20, 9:35 (Wed.-Thurs.), 10:05 (Wed.-Sun). Behind Enemy Lines (Wed.-Thurs.) 11:15, 1:55, 4:30, 7:05, 9:50. Harry Potter 11:20, 2:50, 6:20, 9:30 (Not Mon.). Monsters, Inc. 11:30, 1:45, 4, 6:15, 8:30 (Not Mon.).
ETHAN A L L E N CINEMAS 4 North Ave Burlington, 863-6040 Theater closed Dec. 19-20 for remodelling. friday 21 — Sunday 23 Zoolander 6:30. K-PAX 8:20. Shallow Hal 7, 9:25. Behind Enemy Lines 7:15, 9:35. Spy Game 6:45, 9:15. Closed 12/24-25.
Shelburne Rd, S. Burlington, 864-5610. Wednesday 19 — thursday 20 Vanilla Sky 12:30, 3:30, 6:45. 9:45. Not Another Teen Movie 12:05, 2:15, 4:20, 7, 9:20. Ocean's Eleven 12:10, 12:40, 3:10, 3:40, 6:30, 6:50, 9:15, 9:35. Behind Enemy Lines 12: 15, 3, 7:05, 9:50. Spy Game 12:20, 3:15, 6:55, 9:40. Harry Potter 12, 2:50, 3:20, 6:10, 6:40, 9:30. Shallow Hal 10. Monsters, Inc. 1:45, 4, 6:15, 8:30. friday 21 — mopday 24 Joe Somebody* 11:15, 1:50, 4:15, 6:50, 9:20 (Not Mon.). Jimmy Neutron* 11, 1, 3, 5, 7 9 (Not Mon.). Vanilla Sky 11:50, 3, 6:45, 9:45 (not Mon.). Not Another Teen Movie
E S S E X OUTLETS CINEMA Essex Outlet Fair, Rt. 15 & 289, Essex Junction, 879-6543 Wednesday 19 — thursday 20 Lord of the Rings* 11:30, 3, 6:30, 10. Vanilla Sky 12:30, 3:30, 6:50, 9:50. Not Another Teen Movie 12:50, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 10. Ocean's Eleven 1, 3:40, 6:40, 9:30. Behind Enemy Lines 12:40, 3:50, 7, 9:40. Spy Game 1, 4:10, 7:10, 10. Harry Potter 12, 3:15,6:30, 3:45. Monsters, Inc. 12:20, 2:45, 5, 7:20, 9:30. friday 21 — monday 24 Lord of the Rings* 11:30, 3, 6:30, 10 (Not
Mon.). Joe Somebody* 11:45, 2:15, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Jimmy Neutron* 12, 2, 4, 6, 8:30. The Majestic* 12:30, 3;45, 7, 10:15. Vanilla Sky 12:30, 3:30, 6:50, 9-.50. Not Another Teen Movie 12:45 (Mon. only), 12:50, 2:45 (Mon. only), 3, 5 (Mon. only), 5:15, 7:30, 10. Harry Potter 12, 3:15, 6:30, 9:45. Monsters, Inc. 12:15, 2:45, 5, 7:20, 9:30. Ocean's Eleven 9:30. No late movies Christmas Eve, 12/24.
T H E SAVOY THEATER Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Wednesday
19 — thursday
20
Jump Tomorrow 6:30, 8:30. friday 21 — thursday 27 Amelie 1:30 (Not 12/25), 6:30, 8:55. Closed Christmas Eve.
SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 NICKELODEON CINEMAS
Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494.
College Street, Burlington, 863-9515.
Wednesday 19 — thursday 20 Lord of the Rings* 11:30, 3:15, 7. Vanilla Sky 12, 3:40, 6:40. 9:35. Behind Enemy Lines 12:20, 4, 7:10, 9:40. Out Cold 12;30, 6:50. Harry Potter 11:40, 2;50, 6:05. 9:15. Shallow Hal 4:10, 9:25.
Wednesday 19 — thursday 20 Focus 11:40, 2, 4:20, 7, 9:30. Novocaine 11:50, 2:10, 4:30, 6:50, 9:50. Ocean's Eleven 12:15,3:15,6:30,9:15. Amelie 12:30, 3:30, 7:15, 10. Harry Potter 11:20, 2:50, 6:10, 9:20. friday 21 — monday 24 Lord of the Rings* 11:30, 3:15, 7:30. Jimmy Neutron* 11, 1, 3, 5, 7, 9. The Majestic* 11:40, 2:45, 6:30, 9:45. Ocean's Eleven 12, 3:30, 6:45, 9:30. Amelie 12:15, 3:45,7:15, 10. Harry Potter 11:20, 2:50, 6:10, 9:20. No late movies Christmas Eve, 12/24.
friday 21 — monday
24
Lord of the Rings* 11:30, 3:15, 7. Joe Somebody* 11:35, 1:50, 4:20, 6:40, 9:15. How High* 11:50, 2, 4:10, 6:50, 9:25. Vanilla Sky 12, 3:25, 6:30, 9:20. Harry Potter 11:40, 2:50, 6:05, 9:10. No late shows Christmas Eve 12/24.
Joe Somebody* 12/21-23: 4, 6:40, 9; 12/24: 4, 6:40; 12/25: 4, 6:40, 9' 12/2627: 1:15, 4, 6:40, 9. The Majestic* 12/2627: 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:15. Ocean's Eleven 12/19-21: 4, 6:30. 9:10; 12/22-23: 1, 4, 6:30. 9:10. 12/24: 4, 6:30; 12/25: 4, 6:30, 9:10. Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time. CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street; Montpelier, 229-0343. MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200. MARQUIS T H E A T E R Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841. PARAMOUNT THEATRE 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621. WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 527-7888.
STOWE CINEMA 3 P L E X Mountain Rd. Stowe, 253-4678 Wednesday
19 — thursday
27
Lord of the Rings* 12/19-21: 4, 7:30; 12/22-23: 12:30, 4, 7:30. 12/24-25: 4, 7:30; 12/26-27: 12:30, 4, 7:30.
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o other December release has been as eagerly anticipated or hotly debated as the Osama bin Laden confession. We could call it No Sex, Lies and Videotape. Despite poor production values and repetitive dialogue, the misogynist, all-male cast comes across as a sort of Murder, Incorporated for the new millennium. Unlike that Depression-era American crime syndicate, however, the Islamic jihad boys dreamed big: Thousands, instead of mere dozens, killed. And speaking of dreams, this home movie also works as a supernatural thriller. The Evil One — to borrow some George W. parlance — and a fawning Saudi sheik discuss people who experienced prophetic visions and nocturnal reveries prior to September 11. The creepy sheik cites four examples and Osama recounts one, before some guy off-camera chimes in with his own, probably hastily devised, incubus tall tale. Has the entire Arab world tuned into the Psychic Hotline? This part of the conversation might spawn a call-in show on A1 Jazeera TV, perhaps extrapolating a name from the CNN program with a similar format: "Cave Talkback Live." If the repulsive Al Qaeda gabfest ever becomes a theatrical feature or television movie-of-the-week, bin Laden could be portrayed by the tall actor who was Michael J. Fox's father on "Family Ties." Donald Sutherland might be another good cfioice, with a white turban, camouflage jacket, long beard and slimy smirk on his face. Previous Osama tapes are ripe for Hollywood exploitation, as well. Remember the terrorist training-camp footage, with virile young masked assassins in black pantaloons swinging from monkey bars? Although the Taliban outlawed music for ordinary Afghan citizens, this radical Muslim exercise video had a catchy soundtrack guaranteed to entice men stupid or vicious enough to prepare for martyrdom. John Walker, the California nitwit who joined the cause, comes right to mind. Baby-faced Matt Damon is a shoo-in for that role. Another chilling image that cries out to be replicated is the crisply shot interview with Osama and his accomplices sitting near their mountain hideout, with what appears to be a silver samovar perched on a rock ledge behind them. High tea? How quaint. Maybe they had just noshed on little crustless, quartered cucumber sandwiches. (If so, perhaps the various Mrs. bin Ladens, all in headto-toe burkas, served up those vittles.) At any rate, that Al Jazeera scene deserves to be included in a big-screen epic called Tora! Bora! Toral Tora!— a slight reconfiguration of the title of a 1970 dramatization about the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. The attacks On New York and Washington bring out the inner militant in me, a pacifist from way back. If I had any doubts before now, watching the gleeful holy-war honchos brag about their blood lust makes even warmonger Donald Rumsfeld seem virtuous by comparison. But, since I'm not a flag-waver, my contrarian approach to patriotism can best be expressed by imagining the cinematic downfall of evildoers. So, I have a holiday-themed idea for depicting bin Laden, the 19 hijackers and however many of his psychotic followers that happen to die in Operation Enduring Freedom. They try to enter Paradise, but Clarence, the wingless angel from It's a Wonderful Life, takes each of them on a tour of his own past. These encounters become the exact opposite of Jimmy Stewart's self-assessment: The world would have been so much better if they'd never been born. And those 72 virgins? In your dreams, Osama. SHORT TAKES: The Savoy Theater in Montpelier has booked eight selections for its winter series of foreign films by directors representing a range of cultures — Germany, France, Italy, the United Kingdom and Australia: The Princess and the Warrior, January 1213; Innocence, January 19-20; Va Savoir, January 26-27; Liam, February 2-3; The Town Is Quiet, February 9-10; Sobibor, February 16-17; Aberdeen, February 23-24; and The Way We Laughed, March 3-4. The lineup sounds heavenly — one of my favorite actors, Ian Hart, appears in both Liam and Aberdeen . . . Oscar winner Faith Hubley sometimes attended the Vermont International Film Festival, where her animations were always a popular draw. Last week, the acclaimed New York artist died at age 77. After creating 21 films with Iter husband John, who predeceased her almost 25 years ago, she went on to an equally successful solo career. A New York Times obituary explained that Hubley s work "combined elements of myth, jazz and a deeply felt humanism." <2)
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"JeRem v
e V>> 7 A M E S i: Dear Cecil, ' uago you answered a question about gay men getting gerbilsand other items stuck up in their anal canals. But what about vaginasI A goodfriend of mine, who is also a paramedic and EMT instructor, informed me of several women he has treated with a variety of items stuck helplessly up their own little "tunnels of love. " One case allowed a hot dog to rot and fester for several weeks, before finally becoming concerned with the pain, pus and, of course, the smell. What ynore information can you provide? — royjwood, via the Straight Dope Message Board
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This is a topic we've shamefully neglected, and it's time to p u t matters right. Here's a partial list of "vaginal foreign bodies" d r a w n f r o m the medical journals. Warning: If you're the type with a queasy stomach, don't read this o n a crowded bus:
An orange, an eggplant, a flashlight bulb, a screw, a crayon, a pencil, the metal top from a lead pencil (remained in place 20 years), a wax candle, the brokenofF heel of a wooden shoe tree (remained in place 53 years), a pessary (57 years), another pessary with a two-and-three-quarter-inch base (a pessary is a device inserted, in the vagina to support internal organs; it's supposed to be checked periodically), tampons, "lost" IUDs (string no longer visible), thermometers, a drinking glass (measuring 5 by 7 by 8.5 centimeters), a metal speculum mistakenly left in place following a gynecological exam (she didn't get far), a cucumber (14 inches), a salt cellar (8 by 4 centimeters), what appears on the X-ray to be a Coca-Cola bottle, a brandy bottle (0.35 liters), carrots, a dead housefly, a bag of cocaine wrapped in a condom (1 by 10 by 16 centimeters), two 85-gram bags of cocaine (discovered posthumously), a cylindrical tin container (3 by 6 centimeters; remained in place two years, during which time it became encased in a giant calculus or stone), a jade bracelet (65 millimeters in diameter, hidden during a communist uprising, remained in place more than 40 years, discovered at autopsy), a bottle cap (3.7 by 3.8 centimeters) encased in a cauliflowerlike mass (4 by 5 centimeters), an aerosol deodorant
cap, a hairspray can cap, miscellaneous other caps, a plastic cup (3 by 3 by 4 centimeters), an oxidized iron rod that protruded 2 centimeters out of the vagina ("identified by X-ray examination as one handle of an iron forceps often used for cutting metal wires"), a completely calcified plastic stopper, surgical gauze, "avian pulmonary tissue which was artfully introduced in the vagina of [a 2-year-old] girl by her schizophrenic mother," plus a lot more in Dutch, Japanese, Hungarian, etc., that I didn't feel like translating. But you get the general idea. In some cases the victim inserted the VFB for sexual purposes, only to have pieces or occasionally the entire thing get lost inside. Often the woman was too embarrassed to seek help and the object remained inside for years, as with the shoe-tree heel. Frequently the object became encysted or calcified, eroded the vaginal wall, or resulted in other complications you don't really want to hear about. Sometimes the women were "packers" (drug couriers); in other cases they inserted the objects as children. Some were mentally incapacitated; others wouldn't talk or feigned ignorance. Sometimes the explanations make no sense. In the case of one 4-year-old, "the parents recognized the tubular foreign body as the shell of a suppository that
had been mistakenly placed in the vagina by a layman during a febrile upper respiratory infection two years ago." Huh? In quite a few cases the woman was the victim of sexual or other abuse. The Coke bottle above had been kicked into the woman's vagina by four rapists; she subsequently died. The candle had been inserted in a 20month-old infant. In one investigation of 12 girls brought to a clinic for VFBs, eight definitely and three possibly had been sexually abused. Even in cases of accidental VFBs the victims troubles were often prolonged by medical incompetence. I found several reports of women who had been repeatedly examined over a period of years before somebody found the object. (Granted, a small plastic cap can be tough to spot on an X-ray.) Thermometers often get stuck when some quack tells a woman to take her temperature vaginally for purposes of contraception, ignoring repeated injunctions by experts that taking your temperature orally works just as well. I have here an X-ray of one such woman showing that the thermometer — a conventional glass job — has gotten stuck inside her crosswise. Girls are told to be careful about what they let into their vaginas; the advice applies to inanimate objects, too.
— CECIL ADAMS
Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.
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13" Holiday Crackers
Pier l's
Last Minute Gift Guide
A d d A Bang To Your H o l i d a y Entertaining
14" 2999
5pc Sake Set
Music Of The Spheres Windchime
Many Other Styles Available
Many Sizes & Tunings available Gypsy, Pentatonic, Balinese & 00 Chinese
79" to 599
12oo C a r b o n Steel
Wok Set 42" Includes: C o o k i n g Chopsticks, Steam riser, P a d d l e & Fork
Vacuum Insulated
Travel Mug
1500
Asian Vases
2999 Whistling
Tea Kettle 2799
Petanque m 50
oo
m
If you're from Italian stock you may call it Bocci. If you're British perhaps it's lawn Bowling. The french say petanque. Whatever you call it this beautiful steel & wood set is guaranteed to please.
19" ( f / f Coffee Press
fc 4 m A* Hi I b P S * u it f 1 f fÂť.;5
24" i l l t n \ m Beaded Curtains
Visor Cd Organizer ll
7999
5
Sculpted Chess Set
Glass Pen & Ink Set 2499
Copper Fountain 64"
Pier 1
i
n
Associate store
52 Church Street On the Marketplace Burlington 863-4644
3000 Wood & Metalephant Holiday Hours Mon. - Sat.. 10A-9P Sun 11A-6P
Pier 1 Associate Store #933 Is Locally Owned And Operated I W H M M I
21b
FRONT PAGE GALLERY:
"Landscape," mixed media, by Claire White of Burlington
dykes
calendarÂť
Her name conjures images of "Edelweiss" in eight-part harmony. But: Elisabeth von Trapp is the only descendent of the Sound of Music family pursuing a professional career in music. And its a solo gig — her haunting soprano has been heard in New York subway; AS well as Bosrons Fenway Park. Von Trapp is piping up lor the Vermont Women's Fund in is concert that samples G Accompanied by pianist Charles Eller and cellist Erich Kory, shell also sing medieval hymns, Austrian carols and traditional Christmas songs — just a few of her "Favorite Things." ^
^
Holiday Conceit with Elisabeth
m
TA and Champlain Flyer fes and tickets are GREAT stocking stuffers! re prices: $33.00 for adult, monthly bus or train pass $8.25 for adult ten-ride bus or train ticket $15.00 for senior, disabled or student* monthly bus $4.70 for senior, disabled or student* ten-ride bus t 'students 18 years & l
"::>
II 864-CCTA today to order bus passes, or by Unite Station to purchase train passes CCTA and the C h a m p l a i n Flyer thanks e v e r y o n e w h o s u p p o r t e d our public transportation system. Happy N e w Year!
YANKEE LANES
TA arid the Champlain Flyer a<
215 Lower Mountain View Drive
— COLCHESTER —
650-2720 ^ page
38a
SEVEN DAYS
CHITTENDEN COUNTY TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY
december 19, 2 0 0 1
ish, Mastercard, Visa and local checks.
B 2 m v E
2 3 . St. Paul's Cathedral,
^
Burlington, 4 p.m. $12. info,
p
f
magi moments "It's the operative equivalent of a Nutcracker," stage designer Tim Tavcar says of Amah I and the Night Visitors — a made-for-television holiday drama that makes the migrating magi musical. Written in 1951 by Gian Carlo Menotti, it tells the story of a royal pit stop the three kings make on their way to Bethlehem. The lives of their hosts — a crippled boy and his mother — are transformed by the visit. "Menotti is a great composer for voice, and if v you've got the chops, it's great to sing," Tavcar notes. Aspiring opera singer Wendy Hoffman Farrell, who plays Amahl's mother, has been following that star. The Essex Children's Choir alumna was a recent guest with the Atlanta Opera.
Merrie Amsterburg performs at the Burlington Coffeehouse Saturday p. 3 8 a
Vermont Opera Theater's Amahl and the Night Visitors. Friday, December 21. Barre Opera M a House, 8 p.m. $5-12. Info, W 476-8188. Also Sunday, December 23. Opera House at Enosburg Falls, 5 p.m. $6-12. Info, 933-6171.
austria hungry?
short day's journey
bach stock
The Sound of Music is not exactly a Christmas story, but the singing saga ranks as the favorite family musical of all time. Northern Stagers had visiting relatives in mind when they decided to mount the Rodgers and Hammerstein classic over the holidays. In fact, the real von Trapp family was a little less functional than the Mariasanctioned script portrays. She left the nunnery because she was ill, not ill-suited to convent life. And when the family arrived in the United States, she forced them to tour together for nearly two decades — more like Mommy Dearest than Mother Superior. . .
Hikers are instructed to bring "positive thoughts" — along with water, warm clothes and flashlights — on a winter solstice trek from Stevensville to Butler Lodge. For the fifth year in a row, Len Carpenter is leading a sunset foray for the Burlington chapter of the Green Mountain Club and a ritual passing of the candle lantern "so the sun will travel north." Although snow conditions are yet to be determined, it's a good bet it'll be windy and cold on the shortest day of the year. Another thing you can count on: Although it will be dark on the way down, you'll never walk alone. . .
Everyone sings Handel's hallelujahs at Christmastime, but Bach may actually be better listening. The six-part Christmas Oratorio "is bigger, and a lot harder" than the Messiah, says Larry Gordon, director of the Onion River Chorus. "You need extraordinarily good solo voices, especially the tenor part which is very, very demanding." Robert Dockstader of Barre will rise to the occasion — a concert of parts one, two, three and six. According to Gordon, the 23-year-old Barre vocalist "has got a world-class career in front of him. . . It would be worth coming to the show just to hear him."
Northern Stage performs The Sound of Music. December 1 9 - 3 1 , except Dec. 25. Briggs Opera House, White River .unction, call for times. $22-30. Info, 296-7000.
©
©
Winter Solstice Hike. Saturday, December 22. Leaving from UVM Visitors Parking Lot, Burlington. 1 p.m. Free. Register, 655-3071.
Bach's "Christmas Oratorio."
•
frontier food
Saturday, December 22. Barre I Universalist Church, 7:30 p.m. ' $12. Info, 426-3210. Sunday, December 23. Montpelier Unitarian Church, 3 p.m.
It's hard for kids to imagine life before frozen pizzas and sushi-to-go. But that's the pre-grocery-store goal of an educational session entitled "Cooking on the Frontier." Back in Ethan Allen's day, dinner was served after the corn was ground into meal, and the meal made into bread — in a little side oven connected to the fireplace. Making butter was an even bigger deal, but kids will be spared turns at the churn. Mac Burns of the Ethan Allen Homestead plans to serve the sweet stuff on crackers. What kind? "I don't know," he says. "I haven't been to the store yet."
Vanilla
Sky at Essex Outlets
Cinema, Showcase Cinemas, C i n e m a Nine p. 4 8 a
"Cooking on the Frontier." Saturday and Sunday, December 22 & 23. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 865-4556.
MS)
-Handel's
M e s s i a k
Saturday, Dec. 8,7:30 p.m. Ira Allen Chapel, Burlington
Also Sunday, Dec. 9,4 p.m., at Hanvood UHS Theater, Duxbury
; A (ZoiAV\\e.rpo\v\\
Christmas
2001
Starts Friday 12/21
The
call for times
WINDJAMMER
(closed Monday, Dec. 24)
She'll change your life.]
S T E A K , S E A F O O D AND P R I M E R I B
THE ftALL STREET J0l?RX\L
"IT WILL M A K E Y O U FEEL EXCEPTIONALLY G O O D ! 'Amelie' is a tour-de-force." -Joe Morgenstem
A.
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^
Friday, Dec. 21,7:30 p.m. UVM Recital Hall, Redstone Campus Also Sunday, Dec. 23,4 p.m., at First Presbyterian Church, Barre
$14 adults, $7 students under 18, free for children 6 and under
lew
m
EBERT&KOEPEft
TWO THUMBS UP!"
Charge by phone al 86-FLYNN (Burlington); Vincent's Drugs (Waterbury); Barre Books and Mediums Blend Cafe (Barre); Sugarbush Chamber of Commerce and Tempest Books (Waitsfield)
A Gift Certificate from the Windjammer Restaurant.
JEAN-PIERRE ,IEL\Fi^
Good Food, Good Friends and Good Cheer!
877.481.0303, www.madriverchorale.com a SIIIIIMCl tttlllBil
Media Sponsor: radio Vermont WDEV 550 AM & 96.1 FM, WCYT 101.7 FM, WLVB 93.9 FM, WKDR 1390 AM
Savoy Theater 26 Main S t / M o n t p e l i e r / 2 2 9 - 0 5 0 9 www.savoytheater.com
i
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.
Or... stop in anytime between
Order Gift Certificates Online at wwwindjammerrestaurant.com
|0am-ioPm
For tarpe ordersphase, contact us at863-1716, december 13, 2 0 0 1
SEVEN DAYS
page 3b
A
Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.
Wednesday music
Hew Year's Eve Festival of the December 31,2001 • Noon 'til Midnight • Downtown Burlington, Vermom it's First Night like you've never seen it before, with new shows, special events, and your favorite artists m new configurations! First Night is Vermont's
largest single day performing arts festival. It is a communitybased, substance-free New Year's Eve festival of the arts.
" _
~ I
Save $3.00 on Adult Buttons*.
1
Four ways to use this coupon to SAVE $3.00 on adult buttons: O Bring this coupon to the Button Mobile Friday December 21, on the Church Street Marketplace © Buy online at www.firstnightburlington.com, type in coupon code 1222 when you order Bring this coupon to the First Night office, 230 College street, 10am-4pm, Monday-Friday © Mail this coupon with your order, including check or Visa/MC number (with address and phone)
j
Coupon HOT valid at button outlets. Coupon
valid through Saturday December
L Sponsored in part by Skip Farre!! and
Your button gives you admission to over 200 events!
Bay Your Buttons Online N o w at www.firstnightburlington.com O r stop by banks, grocery stores, and select retail stores, or call 865-6005
VOLUNTEERS
NEEDED,
CALL
TODAY'.
• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." CENTRAL SCHOOL CHOIR: The 69-member 5th-grade choir performs for an in-store concert at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. OPEN MIKE NIGHT: Acoustic musicians take center stage at the Cambridge Coffeehouse, Dinner's Dunn, Windridge Bakery, Jeffersonville, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info,m644-5721.
drama 'SOUND OF MUSIC': A story of love — and music — in Nazioccupied Austria retraces the precarious steps of the singing von Trapp family. See "7 selects," this issue. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 7 p.m. $20-30. Info, 296-7000.
film 'LIAM': This film by Stephen Frears zooms in on the life and times of one small boy in Depression-era Liverpool. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6.50. Info, 748-2600.
art This holiday season, give the gift of relaxing massage or other healing services from
Pathways to Well Being
holistic healthcare center 862-0836
www.pathwaysvt.8m.com
AikidO of Champlain Valley is moving!
• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: The human figure motivates aspiring and accomplished artists in a weekly drawing session at Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, 6-8:30 p.m. $3-5. Info, 865-7166.
kids STORYTIME: Young readers aged 3 to 5 learn from lighthearted literature, songs and activities. S. Burlington Community Library, 10 a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080. 'TINY TOTS' STORYTIME: The 3-and-under crowd shares social time and stories. Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORY AND CRAFT TIME: Preschoolers aged 3 to 6 dabble in designs and drama. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 10-10:45 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.
etc SISTER CITY MEETING: The Burlington Puerto Cabezas Sister City Project offers an update from Nicaragua at 15 Beech St., Burlington, 5:30 p.m. Free. Info, 951-9832. HANNUKAH CELEBRATION: "Talmud: Returning Lost Objects" class, 9:30 a.m. - noon. "Songs and Stories of Light and Peace" class, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Beth Jacob Synagogue, Montpelier. { " :. Donations. Info, 223-0583. BURLINGTON CURRENCY: ^ page
38a
SEVEN
DAYS
december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
Meet with friends while you learn more about the buying power of "Burlington Bread." RalSio Bean Coffee House, Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 434-8103. MACINTOSH COMPUTER USERS MEETING: Appleheads unite for an informative session at the Gailer School, 4066 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 849-6742. BRANCH O U T BURLINGTON MEETING: Join with others interested in the cultivation and care of urban trees. Department of Parks and Recreation, 645 Pine St., Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 862-8245. FIBROMYALGIA TALK: Dr. Timothy Farrell demonstrates hands-on techniques to treat painful symptoms without drugs. The Racquet's Edge, Essex Junction, 7-8 p.m. Free, Register, 899-9991. 'LOOK GOOD, FEEL BETTER': Female cancer patients get tips on maintaining their looks while undergoing chemotherapy or radiation. Arnold 2, University Health Center, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Register, 655-2000.
ursday music • See listings in "Sound Advice."
drama 'SOUND OF MUSIC': See December 19. 'PEACE IN OUR COMMUNITY': Community members read classroom reflections on "the meaning of peace" in Winooski and around the world. John F. Kennedy Elementary School, Winooski, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 655-0411.
film 'LIAM': See December 19.
art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.
words POETRY WORKSHOP: Local poet David Weinstock shares writing tips with aspiring authors. Ilsley Public Library, Middlebury, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.
kids STORYTIME: See December 19.
sport WALKING CLUB: Take strides for fun and fitness at Twin Oaks Sports, 75 Farrell St., S. Burlington, 8-9 a.m. Free. Info, 658-0002.
etc QUILT GROUP: Expert and novice needlers with decorative designs apply themselves to quilting projects at the Brook Street
School, Barre, 6-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 828-8765.
music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." 'COUNTERPOINT CHRISTMAS 2001': The singing group samples holiday music from around the world, including Handel's Messiah. U V M Recital Hall, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $14. Info, 877-481-0303. 'AMAHL AND T H E N I G H T VISITORS': Tenor John Tisbert and baritone Joseph Garofalo sing in Gian Carlo Menotti's operatic tale of the Magi. See "7 selects," this issue. Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $5-12. Info, 476-8188.
dance DANCE SOCIAL: Step out for an evening of ballroom, Latin and swing. Vermont DanceSport Academy, Mann Hall, Trinity College, Burlington, Mini-lesson, 7:30 p.m. Dance, 8-11 p.m. $10. Info, 846-7236. BALLROOM DANCE PARTY: Waltz your way through a night of social dancing at this weekly soiree. Jazzercize, Williston. Mini-lesson, 7 p.m. $10. Dance only, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 862-2207. WINTER SOLSTICE SACRED CIRCLE DANCE: Celebrate Earth-based spirituality through traditional folk dances. Yoga Vermont Studio, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Donations. Info, 425-6061.
drama 'SOUND OF MUSIC': See December 19.
film 'INNOCENCE': This film puts a spotlight on two people who were lovers as teenagers discovering each other again as senior citizens. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6.50. Info, 748-2600. 'ABERDEEN': A woman goes to Sweden to find her alcoholic father in this dysfunctional family film. Catamount Arts Center, St. Johnsbury, 9 p.m. $6.50. Info, 748-2600.
art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. GALLERY HOLIDAY PARTY: Local artisans sell their work right off the walls during this gathering with refreshments and cheer. Catamount Arts Gallery, St. Johnsbury, 3-6 p.m. Free. Info, 748-2600.
words D£jA VU SLAM: Say that again? Poets compete in a two-round slam by re-interpreting their own
material before your very eyes. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 863-2370.
sport TEEN SWIM: Teen-agers take the plunge in an indoor pool and escape the blustery weather outside. Greater Burlington YMCA, 8-9:45 p.m. $2. Info, 862-9622.
etc WINTER SOLSTICE CELEBRATION: Winter lovers gather around a bonfire to share stories about the snow and cold. VINS North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-6206. WINTER SOLSTICE LABYRINTH: A labyrinth walk comes before fiddling by Pete Sutherland and Bill Drislane. All Saints Church, S. Burlington, 10:45 a.m. - 12:45 p.m. Free. Info, 658-5713. BUSINESS GROUP: Local business owners convene to share stories of successes and frustrations. Scrumptious Cafe, Burlington, 89 a.m. Free. Info, 860-1417.
music • Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." 'COUNTERPOINT CHRISTMAS 2001': See December 21, Grace Church, 8 Court St., Rutland, 7:30 p.m. 'AMAHL AND THE NIGHT VISITORS': See December 21, 3 & 8 p.m. GOSPEL CONCERT: The Ecumenical Gospel Choir belts out holiday carols at the Vergennes Opera House, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 877-6737. JERICHO COMMUNITY CONCERT: The Seven Eggs a cappella group shares a stage with Berta Frank and Barbara Boutsikaris playing traditional and classical music. Jericho Congregational Church, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 846-3268. ONION RIVER CHORUS: Central Vermont's community chorus performs a melodious rendition of Bach's "Christmas Oratorio." See "7 selects," this issue. Barre Universalist Church, 7:30 p.m. $12. Info, 426-3210.
dance OTTER CREEK CONTRAS: Caller Dan O'Connell gets musical backup from Billy Drislane and Pea Soup. Wear clean, softsoled shoes to Holley Hall, Bristol, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 524-1466. • ' LATINO CHRISTMAS DANCE PARTY: Feliz Navidadl Deejay Hector "El Salsero" Cobeo spins discs at a spicy holiday shakedown for Latin lovers. St. John's Club, 9 Central Ave., Burlington, 9 p.m. $5. Info, 862-5082.
drama 'SOUND OF MUSIC': See December 19, 2 & 7 p.m.
film 'INNOCENCE': See December 21.
'ABERDEEN': See December 21.
art
• See exhibit openings in the art listings.
CENTER
art • See exhibit openings in the art listings.
most original choreographers on the downtown scene . Itt iiiiiit Mm
words
Music by Toshi Reagon and DJ Spooky
FRONTIER DAYS: Kids get a taste of 18th-century frontier life in a session devoted to cooking without gas. See "7 selects," this issue. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 8654556.
WRITING GROUP: Share ideas, get feedback and try writing exercises at the Kept Writer Bookshop, St. Albans, 2-5 p.m. Free. Info, 527-6242.
Jane Comfort and Company
sport
kids
WINTER SOLSTICE HIKE: The Burlington section of the Green Mountain Club leads a night-time hike in celebration of the sun's northward journey. See "7 selects," this issue. Register, 655-3071. HIKE-SNOWSHOE: The Montpelier section of the Green Mountain Club leads a romp around Kettle Pond in Groton State Forest. Meet at Montpelier High School, 12:30 p.m. Free. Register, 479-2304.
FRONTIER DAYS: See December 22.
A DANCE THEATER ADVENTURE WITH TRIP-HOP, JAZZ, TRANCE MUSIC AND SONG
etc 'CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM': The period Vermont homestead offers historically correct tours in a holiday spirit. Billings Farm and Museum, Woodstock, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. $8. Info, 457-2355. HOLIDAY SHOWCASE: Local artisans show off their talents in a variety of media at the Shullenberger Gallery, Jericho, 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Free. Info, 899-4993.
etc 'CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM': See December 22. HOLIDAY SHOWCASE: See December 22.
M o n - Fri, 1 0 a m - 6 p m • S a t ,
*
' Be Sure to Purchase
music • See listings in "Sound Advice.'
art • See exhibits in the art listings.
fiip<triflv l U C - a i l €1 Jf
Christmas day music
|&.[|0|
•www.hop.dartmouth.edu
Your Button and Come Join Us For a SPECTACULAR..
* FIRST NIGHT . * MONTPELIER *
"Around the World" Celebration! * 3 pm December until midnight Monday, 31,2001 n j.!i • j . • *
You can purchase your m*®**^ FIRST NIGHT MONTPELIER BUTTONS and AROUND THE WORLD CDs at
Christmas eve
603.646.2422
1 pm - 6 pm • Visa/MC/Amex/Discover
Hopkins Center, Dartmouth C o l l e g e , Hanover, N H 0 3 7 5 5
^
music
*
*
MONTPELIER: Onion River Arts Council, The Times Argus, Bear Pond Books, Hunger Mountain Co-op, The Country Store, Capitol Stationers, Minuteman Press,1 Charter 1, Shaw's, National Life, City Hall, Cosmic Cotton BARRE: The Times Argus, Barre Books, Beverage Baron, / Grand Union, Howard's Market, Quality Market BERLIN: Price Chopper, Shaw's EAST MONTPELIER: Dudleys Store NORTHFIELD: Northfield Pharmacy, Quality Market , „„n c F PLAIN FIELD: Winooski Vdley Co-op, Blinking Light Gallery ° r .m0£f. ' ^ T l U r * T WATERBURV: Cold Hollow Cider Mill, P&C UOUncil WAITSFIELD: Shaw's, Sugarbush Chamber of Commerce STOWE: Stowe Chamber of Commerce
Union KlVer Arts at 229-9406.
DANCE, THEATER, PARADE, PEACE RITUAL, STORYTELLING, MUSIC, MAGIC, FIREWORKS AND FUN FOR THE ENTIRE FAMILY! Presented by Onion River Arts Council, the City of Montpelier and ktontpelierDovvntam Community A s s o c ^ ^
Seafood as Fresh as the Lake Champlain Breezes
SHRIMPLY DELICIOUS!
• See listings in "Sound Advice."
etc
'HOLIDAY PROJECT' VOLUNTEERS: Do-gooders deliver handmade holiday cards to hospital patients, nursing home residents and others in need of some Christmas cheer. Meet at the Burgess Building, Fletcher Allen Health Care, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2650.
HOLIDAY SHRIMP PLATTERS: PEEL N EAT - $9*99/LB JUMBO SHRIMP - $18«99/LB Burlington's
Only Fresh Seafood Market... Lobsters, Cod,
Liv« .
Wednesday
Scallops
o\e$
m O N J j f y
^fyl
M A R K E T & CAFE
-
125 Battery Street • Burlington • 864-0110
music
• See listings in "Sound Advice."
drama 'SOUND OF MUSIC': See December 19, 2 & 7 p.m.
film
Gregory Douglass TEETER CD Release Show - Saturday, 12/22,8pm Hyde Park Opera House, $5 (under 12 free) Advance tlx available at Music Shop, Morrisville & Event Sponsor Forget-Me-rNot Shop, Johnson ww«gregoryaoaglags.com
'ABERDEEN': See December 21, 7 p.m.
drama
art
'SOUND OF MUSIC': See December 19, 2 & 7 p.m.
• Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See December 19.
'INNOCENCE': See December 21, 1:30 p.m. 'ABERDEEN': See December 21, 7 p.m.
TICKETS & I N F O R M A T I O N
,
etc
film
8 pm • The Moore Theater
sport TEEN BASKETBALL: The indoor court makes hoop dreams come true for teens at the Greater Burlington YMCA, 4-5 p.m. $2. Info, 862-9622.
'CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM': See December 22.
• Also, see listings in "Sound Advice." 'COUNTERPOINT CHRISTMAS 2001': See December 21, First Presbyterian Church, Barre, 4 p.m. 'AMAHL AND THE NIGHT VISITORS': See December 21, The Opera House, Enosburg Falls, 5 p.m. $6-12. Info, 933-6171. ONION RIVER CHORUS: See December 22, Montpelier Unitarian Church, 3 p.m. 'MESSIAH' OPEN READING: Join the chorus — or orchestra — for a rousing rendition of Handel's holiday oratorio. Middlebury Community Church, 2 p.m. Donations. Info, 462-2918. VERMONT YOUTH ORCHESTRA: French hornist Peter Reit joins the young musicians in a program of Mozart, Bach and works from his new album, A Christmas Feast. Ira Allen Chapel, • UVM, Burlington, 4 p.m. $5-10. Info, 655-5030. ELISABETH VON TRAPP: The popular local songstress performs medieval hymns, Austrian carols and traditional Christmas music to benefit the Vermont Women's Fund. See "7 selects," this issue. St. Paul's Cathedral, Burlington, 4 p.m. $12. Info, 388-3942.
Monday & Tuesday, January 7 & 8
kids STORYTIME: See December 19. Continued on page 6b
2002 Logger Calendar www.rustyd.net
T T
ANTIQUES WANTED
Good Stuff at Fair Prices Tues-Sun: 10-6 • 859-8966 207 flynn Ave. • Burlington
december 19, 2 0 0 1
Employment Classifieds
Where good jobs SEVEN DAYS
the are. page13b^
Calendar
?
y/%7Yi
Halvorson's
Continued from page 5b 'TINY TOTS' STORYTIME: See December 19.
upstreet cafe of/fnrnicl
etc 'CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM': See December 22.
•very Thursday 16 oz. Bud Drafts $1.50
flippy
Tues • All Canadian Beers $2.25
Holidays
carngan
Wed • Otter Creek Drafts $2.25 Thar • 16 oz. Bud Drafts for $1.50
Calendar
Fri •
$1.75 Mich Lt. Drafts
Sat •
All 10 oz. Well Drinks $2.50
is
written
by
Sarah
Badger. Classes are compiled by
DCeoj
year's
f
&oe
Located below Angela's Restaurant on Main Street in Middlebury. Entrance to the Pub is off Main Street to the right of the restaurant.
r
o
m George Thabault. All submissions
10pm-2am CJfiecf
Open Tues. thru Fri. 4:00pm to 2:00am Saturdays 6:30pm to 1:00am
out our outdoor-
courtyard
J i f f sflows rain or
are due in writing on the Thursday
Se-ve it
sfiine
Upper Church St. 658-0278
before publication.
Day§!
Live at
Henry's Pub
SEVEN DAYS
edits for space and style. Send to:
SEVEN DAYS,
Friday December 21 Saturday December 22
P.O.
Box
1164,
Burlington, VT 05402-1164. Or fax
"Adams 8i 802-865-1015.
9:00pm - 2:00am 1068 Williston Road. I \
Z) ^
E-mail:
calendar@sevendaysvt.com.
8 6 3 - 6 3 6 3
^GRACIOUSNICEBORDERSTHANKMGEVERYONEFOR
s
Club
MeTR0N0Me W E D • T H U R S • FRI NO COVER! DRINK S P E C I A L S !
Vfb
All shows 1 Opm unless noted B A R
1 5 B i
A N D
G R I L L
REAL HOLIDAY
THU 12/20
9 P.M.
SAT 12/22
9 P.M.
—
I I
V
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R E T R O N O M t $2 « g
"a
SUN.23
. DAtelUG SUGARPLUMS mmi
I f 9 P.M.
136 CHURCH STREET • B U R L I N G T O N 859-8909
IUNDAYNI
J/tn Brahta UNPLUGGED AND UNHINGED
38a
SEVEN DAYS
DRINK VERMONT BEER! Double Krok BftJWfc Ale Silk Ale OJzfoio Browti Ale OktoWfet
i
TUE.24
BEATS & PIECES W/DJ A. Dog $2
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864-0744 SEVEN DAYS
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:eacfiing a class? call ' 8 6 4 . 5 6 8 4 to list It here acting
dance
Shelburne Village. Info, 9853648 or www.shelburnecraft BURLINGTON BALLET: ACTING FOR FILM CLASSschool.org. Kids get excited about Beginners ages 8-12 Fridays, ES: Ongoing professional filmclay through hand-building sculp4:30-5:30 p.m. Advanced beginacting classes. Mondays, 6:30 tural objects and working on the ners and intermediates, age 12 p.m. Montpelier. Tuesdays, 6:30 potter's wheel in a creative environand up Saturdays, 10:30 a.m. p.m. Burlington. Wednesdays, ment. noon. On Track Gym, Union 6:30 p.m. Rutland. $200/month. DRAWING AND PAINTING: Station, 1 Main Street, BurlingInfo, 223-1246 or www.lostna Tuesdays, January 9 through ton. $9-11 per class. Info, 238tiontheater.org/AFF. Certified February 27, 3:15-5:15 p.m. 9612. Local dancer Sophie Backus fdm-acting coach Jock MacDonald Shelburne Craft School, Shelteachers beginners, advanced-beginleads sessions held in conjunction burne Village. Info, 985-3648 or ners and intermediate dancers. with the Los Angeles-based Camerwww.shelburnecraftschool.org. bartending FLYNNARTS DANCE CLASSon Thor Studio, Edgewood Studios Through engaging drawing exercisPROFESSIONAL BARTENDES: New classes in hip-hop, and Lost Nation Theater. es, students learn the basics of ING TRAINING: Day, evening musical theater and modern FLYNNARTS ACTING CLASSdrawing and gain confidence in and weekend courses. Various dance begin January 21. Flynn ES: New classes in auditioning, ' their art. locations. Info, 888-437-4657 or Center for the Performing Arts, improv, storytelling, musical theFUN W I T H CARTOONING: bartendingschool.com. Get certiBurlington. Info, 652-4500 or ater, voice and magic begin Janfied to make a mean martini, marSaturdays, January 12 through www.fiynncenter.org. Children, uary 21. Flynn Center for the garita, manhattan or mai tai. February 16, 10 a.m. - noon. teens and adults earn a two-for-one Performing Arts, Burlington. Shelburne Craft School, Shelticket bonus by registeringfor the Info, 652-4500 or www.flynncen burne Village. Info, 985-3648 or business dance class of their choice before ter.org. A range of exciting new www.shelburnecraftschool.org. EXPLORING BUSINESS December 31. classes accommodate children, teens Learn to create cartoon characters OWNERSHIP: Wednesdays, and adults. and the elements needed to write January 9, 16, 23, & 30, 5:30drumming lively comic strips. 8:30 p.m. Women's Small BEGINNING CONGA & aikido Business Program, Burlington. DJEMBE: Wednesdays, starting AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN $115, grants available. Info, language January 23. Conga, 5:45-7:15 VALLEY: Adults, Monday 846-7160. Explore the possibilities ITALIAN: Group and individual p.m. Djembe, 7:15-8:45 p.m. through Friday, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and realities of business ownership, instruction, beginner to Taiko Studio, 208 Flynn Avenue, and 7-8:15 p.m. Wednesdays, assess your skills and interests and advanced, all ages. Middlebury Burlington. $12/class. Friday noon - 1 p.m. Saturdays, 10:15develop a business idea. area. Prices vary. Info, 545-2676. intermediate Conga class begins 11:15 a.m. & 11:15 a.m. - 12:30 START UP: Thursdays, February Immerse yourself in Italian to get January 18, 4-5 p.m. Call for p.m. Children, Tuesdays, 4-5 7 through May 16, 5-9 p.m. and ready for a trip abroad, or to better location. Info, 658-0658. Stuart p.m. and Saturdays, 9-10 a.m. Sundays, 3-7 p.m. Women's Small enjoy the country's music, art and Paton makes instruments available Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 Business Program, Burlington. cuisine. in this upbeat drumming class. E. Allen St., Winooski. Info, $1250, grants available. Info, ESL: Ongoing small group classBEGINNING TAIKO: 654-6999 or www.aikidovt.org. 846-7160. Learn valuable business es, beginners to intermediates. Mondays, 5:30 p.m. Beginning The school is relocating to 257 Pine and computer skills and develop a Vermont Adult Learning, Sloane adult class starts January 14. Street, Burlington, in January. Call plan for turning a business idea Hall, Fort Ethan Allen, ColchesMonday kid class starts January for more info or see Web site. into action. ter. Free. Info, 654-8677. Improve 21, 3:30 p.m. Taiko Studio, 208 AIKIDO OF VERMONT: your listening, speaking, reading Flynn Avenue, Burlington. Ongoing classes Monday through and writing skills in English as a comedy Thursday Taiko sessions begin Friday, 6-7 p.m. and 7-8 p.m. second language. STAND-UP COMEDY WORKJanuary 17 at Capital City Saturday, 9-10:30 a.m. Sunday, FRENCH: New classes begin SHOP: Beginning in January, Grange, Montpelier. Kids, 4:15 10-11:30 a.m. Above Onion January 21 through May 30, for Burlington area. Info, 734-7465. p.m. Adults, 5:15 p.m. Info, 658River Co-op, 274 N. Winooski adults and children, including Learn about the comedy perfor0658. Experience the power of Ave., Burlington. Info, 862-9785. daytime homeschooling sessions, mance biz, from writing the lines taiko -style drumming. Practice the art of Aikido in a safe Jericho. Prices vary. Info, 899to delivering them like a pro. and supportive environment. 4389 or ggp@together.net. Personalize your language learning craft fiber art with a combination of group and STAINED CLASS COMPREPAPER BOWLS WORKSHOP: OIL PAINTING LEVEL 1: individual lessons. HENSIVE: Twelve Tuesdays, Saturday, January 26, 10 a.m. - 3 Mondays, January 7 through January 15 through April 2, 6:30p.m. Shelburne Craft School, February 11, 6-9 p.m. Shelburne 9 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, martial arts Shelburne Village. Info, 985Craft School, Shelburne Village. Shelburne Village. Info, 985WING C H U N KUNG FU: 3648 or www.shelburnecraft Info, 985-3648 or www.shel 3648 or www.shelburnecraft Fridays, 6 p.m. Martial Way Selfschool.org. Combine some paper, a burnecraftschool.org. Learn the school.org. Learn beginner and Defense Center, 25 Raymond mold and your imagination to crebasics of materials, tools and techintermediate techniques and create Road, Colchester. First class free. ate decorative bowls. niques of oil painting with emphaone or more panels. Info, 893-8893. This simple and sis on the formal elements as well as POTTERY PAINTING: practical martial art was created by creativity. fly tying Ongoing beginner-to-advanced a woman and requires no special FLY TYING CLASSES: Six FIGURE DRAWING â&#x20AC;&#x201D; UNINclasses. Blue Plate Ceramic Cafe, strength or size. Saturdays or Sundays, starting STRUCTED: Thursdays, begin119 College St., Burlington. Info, ARNIS: Saturdays, 11:15 a.m. January 12 or 13. Saturdays, 2-4 ning January 10, 6:30-8:30 p.m. 652-0102. Learn the basics or fine Martial Way Self-Defense Center, p.m. Sundays, 10:30 a.m. - 12:30 Shelburne Craft School, Sheltechniques for painting ceramics to 25 Raymond Road, Colchester. p.m. Schirmer's Fly Shop, 34 burne Village. Info, 985-3648 or create gifts and other treasures. First class free. Info, 893-8893. Mills Avenue, S. Burlington. www.shelburnecraftschool.org. CRAFTS FOR ALL AGES: This Filipino discipline combines $100, includes materials but not Draw or paint in a small, comfortClasses forming in ceramics, the fluid movements of the escrima tools. Info, 863-6105. Experience able group with live model. glass, fiber, wood, jewelry, phostick with graceful and dynamic the satisfaction of catching sport FERRISBURGH ARTISANS tography and other art forms. footwork. fish on flies you've tied yourself. GUILD: Ongoing classes in Frog Hollow Craft School, 250 TAEKWONDO: Beginning and watercolor, welding, stained glass, Main Street, Burlington. Info, advanced classes Monday, pottery, kinder art, Saturday jewelry 860-7474. New classes start in Wednesday, Thursday, 4:30-8:30 morning clay and more. Info, JEWELRY MAKING: January; callfor catalogue or gift p.m. Saturdays, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. 877-3668. Unleash your creativity Wednesday evenings, 6-9 p.m. certificates. The Blue Wave TaeKwonDo with top-notch instructors. Studio3d, 208 Flynn Avenue, School, 182 Main Street, BASIC METALSMITHINGINTRO TO ACRYLICS & Burlington. $l45/six. Info. Burlington. Prices vary. Info, JEWELRY: Mondays, January 14 WATER-SOLUBLE OILS: 864-0810 or Studio3d@togeth658-3359 or info@bluewave through February 18, 6:30-8:30 Mondays, January 7 through er.net. Learn fundamental jewelrytkd.com. Fifth-degree black belt p.m. Shelburne Craft School, February 11, 2-5 p.m. Shelburne making techniques to create items andformer national team member Shelburne Village. Info, 985Craft School, Shelburne Village. you'll be proud to wear. ,, Gordon W. White teaches the excit3648 or www.shelburnecraft Info, 985-3648 or www.shel ing art and Olympic sport of school.org. Learn basic metalburnecraftschool.org. Explore the kids TaeKwonDo. smithing techniques to create a mediums ofatryii&andwatier~$ob CLAY FOR CHILDREN 7-12: bracelet, layered silver rings and MOYYATVING TSUN uble oils and learn the basics of Classes begin January 7 & 9. other finished jewelry. KUNG FU: Ongoing classes in tools and techniques. '; ^ Shelburne Craft School,
page 8b msim^j iliMS
WATERCOLOR LEVELS 1 & 2: Classes begin January 15 & 16. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648 or www.shelburnecraft school.org. Learn color theory and watercolor techniques or continue enriching your watercolor studies and develop your individual expression in beginning or advanced classes.
SEVEN DAYS
december 19, 2 0 0 1 .S
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Waitsfield; register now for Burlington classes beginning in January. All ages and levels. Info, 496-4661,425-6251 for Burlington classes, or www.kung fu-videos.com. Learn applicable fighting techniques while developing discipline and strength. The foundation principles of this ancient art are relaxation, centerline and efficiency of motion.
meditation WEEKLY MEDITATION & DISCUSSION: Tuesdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books & Gifts, S. Winooski Avenue, Burlington. Donations. Info, 660-8060. The Green Mountain Learning Center sponsors this weekly session. MONTPELIER MEDITATION: Ongoing Tuesdays, 67:45 p.m. Community Room, Kellogg-Hubbard Library, Montpelier. Info, 229-1787. Sit together for Insight or Vipassana meditation sessions. MEDITATION: Sundays, 9 a.m. - noon. Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations. GUIDED MEDITATION: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation for relaxation and focus.
music FLYNNARTS MUSIC CLASSES: New classes in jazz, theater songs, musical theater and "junk music" begin January 21. Flynn Center for the Performing Arts, Burlington. Info, 652-4500 or www.fiynncenter.org. Choose from an exciting range of music classes for children, teens and adults.
photography CLASSES & WORKSHOPS: Classes for all levels start in midJanuary. Darkroom is available for use or rent. Center for Photographic Studies, Barre.' Prices vary. Info, 479-4127. Get clicking with photo classes and workshops to improve composition, exposure and printmaking.
pottery BEGINNERS/ADVANCED POTTERY: Morning and evening classes begin January 8 & 9. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648 or www.shelburnecraft school.org. Introduce yourself to the fundamentals of the potter's wheel, further your understanding of creating utilitarian pottery, and experience stoneware, soda and raku firings. CLAY CLASSES FOR ALL AGES: New classes in clay and ceramics begin in January. Frog Hollow Craft School, 250 Main Street, Burlington. Info, 8607474. Callfor catalogue or gift certificate information. POTTERY CLASSES: Ongoing private and group classes, studio rental and workshops for kids and
adults. Vermont Clay Studio, 2802 Waterbury-Stowe Road (Route 100), Waterbury Center. Info, 244-1126, ext. 41 or info@vermontclaystudio.com. Whether you've had a lot, just a little, or no pottery experience, let yourselfexperience the pleasures and challenges of working with clay.
self-defense BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU AND CARDIOBOXING: Ongoing classes Monday through Saturday for men, women and children. Vermont Brazilian jiu-jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 660-4072. Escape fear with an integrated selfdefense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.
sports SPINNING TO HEALTH: Ongoing daily classes. Chain Reaction, One Lawson Lane, Burlington. First ride free. Info, 657-3228. Pedal your way to fitness in a diverse, non-competitive environment. SNOWSHOE DEMO DAY: Thursday, December 27, 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. Clearwater Sports, Route 100, Waitsfield. Free. Info, 4962708 or clearwatersports.com. Experience the many styles of snowshoeing and try out models from
Tubbs, MSR, Sherpa and other snowshoe makers.
support groups Please see support group listings in the WELLNESS DIRECTORY in the classified section.
tai chi TAI CHI FOR BEGINNERS: Mondays, 7-8 p.m. and Wednesdays, 7:30-8:30 a.m. Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne. $10/each or $90/10-class card. Info, 651-7575. Session leader Kristin Borquist is a seventh-year student of local expert Bob Boyd. MONTPELIER TAI CHI: Mondays, 5:15-6:30 p.m. 64 Main Street, third floor, Montpelier. Six-week consecutive sessions. Next series begins Monday, January 7. $50/six weeks. Info, 456-1983. Ellie Hayes teaches Hwa Yu Style Tai Chi, featuring circular movement and deep relaxation.
tai chi chih BEGINNER'S TAI CHI CHIH: Ten-week class starts Thursday, January 10, noon - 1 p.m. Ira Allen Chapel, UVM, Burlington. $50. Info, 655-9147. This simple, 20-movement form is gentle, strengthening and centering.
women TAKING CHARGE: Thursdays, January 10 through February 13, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Palmer and Associates, Burlington. Info, 863-4478. Learn practical ways to reach your goals and dreams in this experiential action workshop. .
wood WOODWORKING CLASSES: Morning and evening classes begin January 8 & 9. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648 or www.shel burnecraftschool.org. Learn the basic fundamentals of woodworking by creating a handsome, small table or continue improving your craftsmanship and design in the advanced classes.
yoga BRISTOL YOGA: Ongoing Astanga yoga classes, Sundays, 45:30 p.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays, 5:30-7 p.m. Beginner sessions Sundays, 6-7 p.m. Old High School, Bristol. Info, 482-5547. This classical form of yoga simultaneously works balance, strength andflexibility in a hot environment to steady the mind, strengthen the body andfree the soul. YOGA VERMONT: Astanga classes every day. Jivamukti, Kripalu, Iyengar, Pre-natal, kids
& senior classes weekly. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718 or www.yogavermont.com. Enjoy a range of yoga choices, including astanga-style "power"yoga classes that offer sweaty fun for all levels of experience. BEECHER HILL YOGA: Ongoing day and evening classes or private instruction and yoga therapy. Hinesburg. Info, 482-3191 or www.downstreet magazine.com/beecherhillyoga. Beecher Hill Yoga offers classes in Integrative Yoga, Yoga for Posture & Alignment, Therapeutic Yoga and Yoga-based Stress Reduction. BIKRAM YOGA: Ongoing daily classes for all levels. 257 Pine Street, Burlington. Info, 651-8979. A heated studio facilitates deep stretching and detoxifying. MONDAY/WEDNESDAY YOGA: Ongoing Mondays, 78:30 p.m. or Wednesdays, 7-8 a.m. The Awakening Center, Shelburne. $90/10 weeks or $12 each. Info, 425-4710 or www. earthislandexpeditions.org. Stretch your mind and body at a convenient Shelburne Village location. BURLINGTON YOGA: Ongoing daily classes, 156 St. Paul Street, Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 658-YOGA (9642). Classes are designed to meet and challenge students at all levels.
Class listings are $ 1 5 per week or $ 4 0 for four weeks. All class listings are subject to editing for space and style. Send info with check or
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Hon...I was thinking of making some sugar cookies. Where do you keep the baking pans?
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deadline monday at 5pm
phone 802.864.5684
fax 802.865.1015
email classified@sevendaysvt.com
classifieds • E M P L O Y M E N T & B U S I N E S S OPP. LINE A D S : 7 5 0 a word. • L E G A L S : Starting at 350 a word. • FOR R E N T LINE ADS: 25 words for $ 1 0 . Over 25: 500/word.
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Therapist Position open at nationally recognized Sex Offender Treatment Program at the Northwest State Correctional Facility in St. Albans, VT. Bachelor Degree and experience required. Advanced degree preferred. Ideal candidate will have experience working with sex offenders.
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• A L L O T H E R LINE A D S : 25 words for $ 7 . Over 25: 300/word. • DISPLAY ADS: $17.00/col. inch. • A D U L T A D S : $20/col. inch. Group buys for display ads are available in regional papers in VT. Call for details. All line ads must be prepaid. W e take V I S A , M A S T E R C A R D & cash, of course.
Community Counselor/Coordinator Flexible independent contractor position in your area. Recruit and interview potential host families for year-long cultural/child care experience. Advise and coordinate activities for international au pairs. Flexible hours, work f r o m home. Excellent opportunity for computer literate person with excellent people skills or experience with international cultural work. Submit letter and resume describing qualifications to:
Contact Georgia Cumming Program Director (802) 651-1661 Application deadline 1/4/02
\ Safety
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Erica Dysart Au Pair in America fax: (203) 399-5592 or edysart@aifs.com
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MAINTENANCE POSITION LUMBER MILL Sawmills, Lumber Sorters, Dry Kilns & Planers Looking For qualified individual to join 4 person maintenance group for: • Preventative maintenance • Machinery & equipment repairs • Design & fabricate mill machinery W e l d i n g & T o r c h C u t t i n g Skills
Required
Electrical Skills & Computer/PLC exp. helpful Successful applicant to be a self starter looking for responsibility, and is safety oriented. 401 (k), health insurance Send resume. For questions call: Ken or Dave Johnson (802) 453-3432 T h e A . Johnson
Co.
995 South 116 RD • Bristol,VT 05443
(802) 453-4884
Integrity
A BRAND N E W AIRLINE,
A BRAND NEW ATTITUDE!
c c ^ COMMUNITY COLLEGE OF VERMONT
PART-TINE INSTRUCTOR
Jet Blue is looking for creative, d y n a m i c people to work with us to c o n t i n u e developing the airline t h a t brings h u m a n i t y hack to air travel. B u r l i n g t o n International A i r p o r t C u s t o m e r Service A g e n t s (Part-lime)
Will facilitate c u s t o m e r check-in and hoarding. M i n . 2 years C u s t o m e r service/Sales experience required, 1 8 , ahle t o lift 7 5 - 1 0 0 l h s . Legally authorized to work in the U S A , neat a n d professional appearance. I IS d i p l o m a / G E D , c o m p u t e r literate; ahle to read, write a n d speafe English. Bilingual also a plus. Flexible schedule required. W o r t weekends/holidays. M u s t pass 10 year security background check/drug test. A p p l y at www.jethlue.com
jetBlue AIRWAYS*
The Community College
H o u r l y Rate $ 1 0 & Benefits
O r s e n d to: r c s u m e @ j e t h l u e . c o m O r fax resume to E. M c C u n e al: (718)286-4110 E O E M/F, D / V
Criminal Court Advocate (40 hrs/wk with benefits) for a shelter for women who are survivors of domestic and sexual violence. The CCA works closely with the team at the shelter and at the State's Attorney's Office, provides support and advocacy for women when criminal charges against the abuser are involved, works with women in shelter, and'answers the hotline. We require a team worker with good communication skills, a strong feminist perspective, and a knowledge of domestic and sexual violence. The successful applicant will have a Bachelor's Degree in an appropriate field or equivalent experience. Send resume by 1/11/02 to:
Clarina Howard Nichols Center PO Box 517 Morrisville, VT EOE
of Vermont is accepting applications for an Send cover letter and resume to: Community College of Vermont Attn: Office Manager 119 Pearl Street
instructor to teach Plumbing Technology for the Spring 2 0 0 2 semester.
Burlington, VT 05401
JOIN OUR T E A M Snack Bar Attendant Work a flexible schedule in a fun environment. You'll earn competitive wages and open bowling privileges! Part-time weekday, night and weekend positions are available. If you possess excellent customer service skills, enjoy people and a fun fast-paced environment apply in person at: Yankee Lanes Colchester 215 Lower Mountain View Drive Colchester (by Costco). Ask for Bonnie.
ADVOCATES WANTED Two motivated, self-directed people wanted to provide information, support, advocacy and referrals to survivors of same-sex domestic and sexual violence in a new LGBTQ organization. Experience in victim advocacy, direct services and/or counseling necessary. Knowledge about domestic and/or sexual violence, experience working with the LGBTQ community, and a B.A. in human service field or equivalent experience required. Both positions |are 20 hours/week and pay $i2/hour with] full benefits. Please send resume and cover letter by January 10th to:
SafeSpace P.O. Box 158 Burlington, VT 05402 ssdsvtf@yahoo.com
HOSPITALITY Waitstaff needed for a.m. shift in Harper's Restaurant Please contact Brian or Bill at
863-6363 Holiday Inn 1068 Williston Rd. South Burlington december 19, 2 0 0 1
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men iliil;
lllill
Jnion 2 0 0 1 - 2 0 0 2
C h i t t e n d e n S o u t h Supe.
C U S T O M E R S E R V I C E REPRESENTATIVE DEPT. O F P U B I C W O R K S - W a t e r D e p t
School/Location
Non-Certified Positions
Williston Central School/
Tutor - School year. Tutor needed to work with a middle school student with learning challenges. Previous experience working in an academic setting required. Please call Carter Smith at 879-5825 or Cindy Morin at 879-5845 for more information.
Allen Brook School
i
City of Burlington P r o v i d e c o u r t e o u s a n d a c c u r a t e responses t o all c u s t o m e r i n q u i r i e s / p r o b l e m s in a professional, t i m e l y a n d friendly m a n n e r . For a c o m p l e t e d e s c r i p t i o n , or t o a p p l y , c o n t a c t HR a t 8 0 2 / 8 6 5 - 7 1 4 5 . If i n t e r e s t e d , s e n d r e s u m e , c o v e r letter a n d A p p l i c a t i o n to: HR D e p t , R m 3 3 City Hall, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 . EOE
SCHOOL NURSE Join team of nurses and mental health professionals to provide health care to adolescents with learning disabilities. Position is part-time evening, and alternating weekend days. Strengths in independent practice and assessment necessary. Competitive wage and very flexible schedule. Please submit letter of interest and resume to:
ThofcheR E t o o o k Iran "Route 100 N, UJatetbuty
Vermont Certified
EMTS
Cook IjUcutstafF Housekeeper
C o m e work for the business that is setting the standards in EMS. Full/Part-time hours; $10/hr.; benefits package. 800-639-2082. Pay D O E .
Pleose call us at
PINE RIDGE SCHOOL
(802)244-5911
9505 Williston Road • Williston, VT 05495 (802)434-2161 • Fax (802) 434-5512
E A L T H
y W
C A H F I ' ^ C O V
Just a few of the opportunities available at FAHC... SPECTRUM (#01-2026)
Y o u t h & Family Services
Lead M a i n t e n a n c e Technician ( # 0 1 - 1 4 6 8 ) M a i n t e n a n c e Technician II ( # 0 1 - 1 7 6 8 ) Registration Reps (#01 - 2 0 2 9 ) Security Officers ( # 0 1 - 1 6 6 3 ) Corporate A s s i s t a n t ( # 0 1 - 2 0 2 0 ) E x e c u t i v e Chef ( # 0 1 - 1 9 4 6 ) F o o d Service W o r k e r s ( # 0 1 - 1 2 3 0 ) Housekeepers (#01-1769) Check out additional opportunities on our website at www.fahc.org, where you can apply on-line. Or stop by our Employment Office at 150 Colchester Avenue in Burlington and complete an application. Phone: 8 4 7 - 2 8 2 5 . Fletcher Allen is a smoke-free workplace.
jsweeney@skylightpaths.com
Spectrum Youth
m
Cook
Outstanding career opportunity. Well organized, high energy, team player working closely w/VP Sales/Marketing. Exciting, fast paced, rapidly growing Woodstock, VT book publisher. Good computer and people skills essential; internet experience helpful. Email introduction letter & resume including salary history:
ATTENTION:
$ "Positions Qvculable. $
Lesley Higgins, RN Pine Ridge School 9505 Williston Rd. Williston, VT 05495
F l i A l l e n
SALES/MARKETING ADMINISTRATOR
& Family Services
Residential Program Staff for New Treatment Program Full, part-time, and respite positions available providing overnight supervision and support to teens and young adults with sexual offending histories. Case Manager New treatment program for young men with sexual offending histories. MSW preferred. Send resumes to Chris Lazar at SY&PS.
We are a growth-oriented Chiropractic O f f i c e W i t h strong ideals Seeking an energetic, people-oriented Assistant to handle office tasks, while supporting individuals on their journey to wellness.
31 Elm wood Ave., Burlington 05401 Fax resume to: 802-985-3711
*4
» » « » « » « » «
^ Profe$sioiidNWSpSServi(*'l'KPractice Nursing the way it was meant to be!!
RMLPNs
We at Professional Nurses Service, feel that caring continues to be the most important aspect of nursing. We are a Vermont statewide, JCAHO-accredited home health care provider. We have immediate openings for RNs and LPNs who are committed to providing quality nursing care, full-time, part-time, per diem, competitive wages, benefits, partial-paid mileage and continuing education provided. Call us about this and other opportunities today!
I-802-655-7I1I or 1-800-446-8773, or email: ProfNurses6aoI.com (heck out our website at www.pronurses.com tot.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * page 1 2 b
S E V E N DAYS
december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR ADDISON COUNTY COMMUNITY TRUST Addison County Community Trust is a non-profit organization with more than a decade of service in affordable housing development and land conservation. The Trust is ' seeking a new executive director to lead an experienced staff of three from its headquarters in Middlebury. The successful candidate will have a strong background in housing development, and experience in housing management, grant writing, and organizational skills management. The director is responsible for overall management and administration of the corporation, including staff supervision and development, project development, financial management, and public relations. The Trust offers a salary of $35,000 to $40,000 plus health and vacation benefits, depending on the qualifications and experience of the successful applicant.
Letter of application and resumes will be accepted through January 7, 2002. References are required. An information packet with complete job description and highlights of the work of the Trust may be obtained by calling 802-3S8-90S0. Please direct applications and resumes to: Search Committee Addison County Community Trust P.O. Box 256 Middlebury, VT 05753
• employment
H ^ p p y J{©Jicfay$ Froix) f b e S ^ W D Days N e w s p a p e r ! CityQ
Market Oniori Ri'/er Co-op
Meat and Seafood Manager Oversee, maintain and lead Meat and Seafood department, supervise and train staff. Be accountable for labor/sales and promoting/merchandising of fish, poultry and meat. •
2-5 years of meat/seafood department management experience
•
Supervisory experience—hiring, training, evaluating, directing
•
Ability to operate meat cutting equipment safely and efficiently
•
Strong communication, organizational and prioritization skills
Receiving Manager Oversee and lead a team of stockers and receivers to ensure grocery departments are fully stocked/maintained and be accountable for receiving, pricing and security of inventory. •
Previous Receiving management or related experience
•
Supervisory experience—hiring, training, evaluating, directing
•
Strong communication, organizational and prioritization skills
•
Ability to lift up to 50-80 lbs. regularly
Scan Coordinator Ensure smooth functioning of the POS scanning system and work with Finance Team to carry out other basic accounting tasks. • Detail oriented, organized, ability to work on multiple tasks and type w/ accuracy •
Systems Analyst/RN C V P H Medical Center, a 420-bed regional referral hospital located in Plattsburgh, New York offers an alternative to the traffic jams, pollution and high crime of city living. Plattsburgh is on the shores of beautiful Lake Champlain, centrally located, one hour from Lake Placid, N e w York; Montreal, Canada; and Burlington, VT. O u r picturesque location in the Adirondack-Champlain valley region affords us with a peaceful, rich lifestyle complete with year-round sports and recreation as well as cultural and educational opportunities. Qualifications needed for the position include a bachelor's degree (preferably in Computer Science or Nursing), or equivalent work experience and a m i n i m u m of two years of system analysis experience in health care. Working knowledge of WordPerfect, Excel, Access, D O S , and Windows is required. Experience and competency with SMS and Sunquest lab products preferred. A Registered Nurse, with clinical experience, is required for this position. NYS R N license or eligibility is preferred. In return, we offer a competitive salary, career advancement, a chance to use state-of-the-art equipment, comprehensive training, tuition assistance options and sophisticated, supportive environment. For immediate consideration, please forward your resume to: H u m a n Resources C V P H Medical Center 75 Beekman Street Plattsburgh, N e w York 12901 Fax: (518)-562-7302 Ph: l-(800)-562-7301 E-mail: mdewey@cvph.org Visit our website at www.cvph.org EOE
CVPH MEDICAL CENTER
Working knowledge of systems, computers and relational databases
Also seeking Store Supervisors and Head Cashiers for City Market. Great benefits such as medical/dental insurance, retirement plan, paid holidays, a store discount, Credit Union membership, and more! Please send your resume and cover letter to:
Onion River Co-op ATTN: Human Resources 274 N.Winooski Ave. Burlington, VT 05401 E O E .
"CVPH - A Great Place to Work"
WE'RE HAVING A JOB FAIR!
Market
We invite you to stop by on Monday, January 7, fill out an application, have an interview, and see our beautiful new
City Market.
Onion River Co-op
With over 40 positions available, there could be something just right for you! We offer competitive pay and an excellent benefits package, along with varied shifts.
City Market—a unique work environment that supports social values and a healthy lifestyle. . ' |
I
MM
•
'
job Fair January 7, ioam-6pm 82 S. Winooski Avenue (next to Mailboxes Etc.)
Questions? Call Kate or Cracie for more details on job openings:
863-3659 december 19, 2 0 0 1
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^
•
employment
LIQUOR C O N T R O L INVESTIGATOR POSITION ADDISON AND CHITJENDEN COUNTIES JOB CODE 081000
Middlebury College has the following positions open in the Comptroller s Office B u d g e t Director T h e Budget Director serves as chief budget officer of the College, developing budgetary processes and procedures for the allocation of resources to meet strategic planning goals, directing the College budget function and explaining the budget process and resource allocation decisions to constituent groups. T h e successful candidate will develop budget models for all College activities including subcomponents, using all known factors. Develop guidelines, parameters and procedures for actual budget preparation, and develop the annual College budget with supporting schedules. Monitor budget performance and develop policies for budget monitoring and control. Prepare special management reports for senior administrators and advise senior administration on general budget performance, alerting them of special circumstances or concerns. Monitor problem accounts and work directly with senior administrators to resolve budget problems within their domains. Assist senior administrators in budget preparations and interpretation, assist in preparing specific budgets, and provide explanations on specific budget items and rationale of budget procedures and policies. Provide guidance in planning budget strategies for individual departments and make recommendations to solve special situations. Assist with special projects. Make presentations and participate in meetings of various College committees. Present reports, provide interpretive budget analysis and affect outcomes as appropriate. Prepare reports for the senior management and the Finance Committee of the Board. Collect, compile, verify and disseminate data. Work with budget administrators to develop strategies to maximize budget efficiencies. Monitor budget versus actual figures and work with budget administrators to address budget issues: Provide overall supervisory oversight for the budget office. Analyze budget trends within the College and various budget components and segments for change and trends. Research literature and budget trends reported by other institutions. Requirements include Bachelor's degree in business related field and five or more years progressively responsible, job-related experience. Knowledge of financial modeling and the budgeting process. Excellent analytical, verbal and written communication skills. Good organizational, planning and supervisory skills. Interpersonal skills necessary to deal courteously and effectively with all levels of academic and non-academic administrators. Ability to maintain confidential information.
Minerva Project Accountant Middlebury College seeks an experienced and energetic Accounting professional to join the Comptroller's Office as Minerva Project Accountant to backfill day-to-day responsibilities of senior staff during the final stages of a new system implementation. T h e Minerva Project Accountant will assist in all areas of the Comptroller's Office daily operations. This position requires a strong accounting background and a high degree of computer literacy, a record of professional accomplishment, excellent communication skills, and the capacity to integrate quickly into a financial team dedicated to providing timely and accurate financial information while maintaining the highest level of customer service. T h e successful candidate will have a proven ability to be flexible, resourceful and independent due to the dynamic and evolving environment in the Comptroller's office. Applicants should have a Bachelor's degree in Accounting, five or more years of accounting experience, and preferably a CPA certification and experiencein a higher education environment. This is a full time, temporary position through September 2003. Screening of candidates will begin immediately and will continue until the position is filled. T h e College offers a highly competitive compensation package commensurate with experience and qualifications. To apply for the above positions, send a cover letter and resume to:
Middlebury College Human Resources Service Building Middlebury, V T 0 5 7 5 3 Fax: (802) 4 4 3 - 2 0 5 8 Visit us on the web at www.middlebury.edu Middlebury College is an Equal Opportunity Employer. Women and members of minority groups are especially encouraged to apply.
^ page "jw/j^MAxi
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december 19, 2 0 0 1
The Vermont Department of Liquor Control has a vacancy for a Liquor Control Investigator based in Addison and Chittenden Counties. This position includes investigation, law enforcement and education work involving the regulations of liquor licensees and enforcement of liquor and tobacco laws for the Department of Liquor Control. Duties include investigation of license applications, inspection of licensees for compliance, investigation of violations and educational presentations concerning the use and effects of alcohol and tobacco. Work is performed under the general supervision of the Liquor Enforcement and Licensing Director. Beginning Salary is $15.05/hour, after six months becomes $15.77/hour. Minimum Qualification: 3 years experience as an investigator in an enforcement or compliance role, or as a law enforcement officer. College coursework in criminal justice, law enforcement, investigation or closely related field may be substituted for part of the experience. Applicant must live in, or be willing to move to area of responsibility. Vermont certified law enforcement officers preferred.
Application deadline is December 21, 2001. This is a full time permanent position. Apply by standard State of Vermont Application to: State of Vermont Department of Personnel 144 State Street, Drawer 20 Montpelier, Vermont 05620-1701 802-828-3464 VT/TTY relay 800-253-0191 Fax 802-828-5580 e-mail: recruit@per.state.vt.us http://www.state.vt.us/pers EEO/AA Employer
State of Vermont
•E
Department of Liquor Control
for a B e t t e r L i f e DORMITORY MONITORS Responsible for the operation of assigned dormitory area and supervision of students assigned within. Must have High School diploma or G E D and at least one year working with young people in a supervisory capacity. DRIVER - FULL-TIME Responsible, mature, flexible person to transport students for various reasons. Must have a clean valid Drivers License. C D L desirable. HEALTH OCCUPATION I N S T R U C T O R Program administrator responsible for classroom and hands on instruction ( clinical at an accredited nursing home) in our L N A program. Must have current R N license and one year clinical experience in health care field. N o weekends * or evenings! SECURITY OFFICER - FULL-TIME Would be responsible for enforcing all laws, rules and P«olicies authorized by Safety Security and Fire Prevention D epartment. A high school graduate or equivalent a must. Additional college course work in a law enforcement preferred. O n e year's experience in a security capacity, preferably in a residential setting dealing with disadvantaged youth. • Great Benefits and Compensation • Flexible Schedule(including nights and weekends) • Part Time and Full Time Opportunities • 100% Tuition Reimbursement for Full Time Employees
For information contact: Human Resources 100A MacDonough Drive Vergennes, VT 05491 (802) 877-2922, ext 209/210 stoddj@jcdc.jobcorps.org
B A R T E N D I N G SCHOOL
CHARLOTTE CENTRAL SCHOOL
& deadline oriented artist, freehand
• Hands-on Training • National Certification m Job Assistance
1-888-4DRINKS www.baptendingschool.com
Salon Coordinator/Receptionist 30-35 hrs. per week. Duties include customer service, computer, answering phones, scheduling appointments and handling money. Please apply in person at: orbit hair design 350 dorset street, south burlington
T W I N OAKS
I «
Seeking FT Assistant teacher, experience a must, competitive pay, health club membership and
Dance Teacher
CULINARY I N S T I T U T E Candidates sought to fill the following positions at Butler's at the Inn at Essex. Both full-time a n d part-time positions available.
Essex High School of Dance s e c o n d semester (i5t b l o c k ) . Proven e x p e r i e n c e a n d ability t o t e a c h Dance r e q u i r e d .
CLINICIAN
Position available on a four-person crisis team providing 24-hour/7 day-a-week coverage and crisis intervention for Franklin and Grand Isle counties through a community mental health center. Masters degree in human services or related field with clinical experience preferred. Bachelors degree with clinical experience will also be considered. Flexible schedule required. Competitive benefits and compensation. Send resume and cover letter to: NCSS Inc. HR D e p a r t m e n t 107 Fisher Pond Rd. St. Albans, VT 05478 No p h o n e calls please. E.O.E.
201, Williston, Vt 05495
graphic ner
SCIENCE CENTER EDUCATOR Seeking energetic, full-time K through 12 educator to design and deliver dynamic outreach and site-based school environmental programs, and coordinate water quality monitoring programs for teachers and students. Combine your enthusiasm for teaching, program design and environmental science. Qualifications: B.A./B.S. in education, science or environmental studies, valid driver's license and an ability to lift 25lbs.VT teaching certification, 2-3 years teaching experience and community outreach highly desirable. Strong communication and organizational skills, PC proficiency and sense of humor are a must. Must receive cover letter and resume by I/7/02 by 5:00 p.m. Send to: Julie Silverman, Center for lake Champlain One College Street, PO Box 4491 Burlington»VT 05406 Fax:(802)864-6832 E-mail: juliesilverman@yahoo.com
PART-TIME OPERATIONS CLERK ALL CYCLE WASTE, INC. 25/3OHRS
a Dance or Physical Education e n d o r s e m e n t
PER WEEK
p r e f e r r e d . Other VT t e a c h i n g e n d o r s e m e n t s also c o n s i d e r e d . For c o n s i d e r a t i o n , p l e a s e s e n d letter, resume, c o p y of y o u r VT Educator's license (or proof of license e l i g i b i l i t y ) , a n d three letters of r e f e r e n c e t o the a d d r e s s b e l o w . Deadline: Open until Filled. EOE Chittenden Central Supervisory Union Attn: Human Resources 21 New England Drive Essex l e t . , VT 05452
Natural Resource Specialist CRISIS
380 Hurricane Lane, Ste.
Temporary position a v a i l a b l e t o t e a c h o n e class
Vermont professional e d u c a t o r ' s license with
AM Waitstaff - Applicants should be energetic, fun-loving, customer-service oriented. Previous waitstaff experience preferred. Will train the right person! Competitive pay starting a t $8.00/hour, plus an excellent benefits p a c k a g e which include Medical a n d Dental Insurance, Health Club Membership, a n d other great benefits starting after 90 days. Apply in person at Butler's Restaurant located at the Inn At Essex, ask for Peter or Thomas. EOE
SUI Intl., Attn: Art Dept,
Infant Teacher
D E S I G N
M C l i l
web knowledge a plus.
Kids & Fitness
658-0080 A
fun M a c environment,
Office/Classroom Assistant. Hours are 7:45 a.m. - 3:15 p.m. M^F. Call Emily at 425-2771 for more information.
more. Please call Kim AAcCrae H
& photoshop proficient,
Special Education Middle Level Assistant. Person needed to work with a small group of students, hours are 8:00 a.m. - 3:15 p.m. M-F Call Fran Williams for more information at 425-2771
A regional land trust with a 30 year history of buying and managing urban natural areas seeks an experienced professional to provide technical assistance on resource protection issues, as well as coordinating wildlife projects with volunteers and other agencies. Ideal candidate will have b years of similar experience. Computer skills, grant writing and an advanced degree in a related field required. 35-40 hours per week. Job description may be requested by phone 863-5744, fax 865-064?, or e-mail wvpd@together.net. Send resumes with salary requirements and list of references to:
wv
Ethan ADen Homestead
This important position involves assisting company dispatcher and operations department in the day-to-day administrative duties. Includes data-entry, driver check-in, radio communications, filing, organizing daily route sheets, strong computer and data-entry skills a must. An aggressive, assertive personality essential. Starting rates $10.50/hr. Summers will be more with a potential for full-time. Call (802) 8 6 4 - 3 6 1 5 , or stop by o u r offices at 2 2 8 Avenue B, Williston, Vermont.
©
NORTHEASTERN FAMILY INSTITUTE
NFI, an expanding statewide mental health treatment system for children, adolescents and families, is seeking to fill the following positions:
MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN THE LIFE OF A CHILD
A unique new program being designed to help a 13 year old boy. Child needs creative, flexible, kid-loving individuals who are interested in full or part-time live-in childcare positions. Generous compensation, a nice Shelburne home already established, all expenses paid and ample time off. This is the ideal position for you if you like kids and desire an interesting work environment with flexible hours. Lots of help and support For more information, call Chris Mobley, NFI-VT @ 878-5390 ext 16 or email questions/resume to chris_mobley@nafi.com.
december 19, 2 0 0 1
SEVEN DAYS
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CONTINENTAL
BREAKFAST
SERVER/SHUTTLE
Delivery Driver
DRIVER
PT, Sun & Mon: 5am-lpm. Set up & take down breakfast area, cleaning duties & driving hotel shuttle. Must have a cleaning driving record, enjoy working w/public & have a friendly attitude. Need ability to handle multiple tasks efficiently.
Food Service Part-time school year position available (4.5 hours on Monday, 4 hours/day Tues.-Thurs.)
G o o d wages & benefits offered.
to deliver f o o d from the Essex High School kitchen to satellite school cafeterias within
Apply to:
Essex Junction, and to perform general
Best Western Hotel
deliveries and errands as requested.
1076 Williston Road So. Burlington
Position pays $9.00/ hour. Qualified candidates must hold a valid VT driver's license, have relevant experience driving a truck or van, and have an excellent driving record. Ability to do heavy lifting also required. For additional
Who do you want to share the watercooler with?
information, please visit our website at www.ccsu.k12vt.us (click on Employment Opportunities). For consideration, please send letter and resume to address.below, or stop by to complete an application:
SEVEN DAYS n e w s p a p e r
C h i t t e n d e n Central Supervisory U n i o n A t t n : H u m a n Resources
Where the good employees are.
21 N e w England Dr. Essex Jet., VT 0 5 4 5 2
Merchants Bank, the leader in Community Banking in Vermont, is currently seeking a self-motivated individual to Supervise the Image Processing staff and workflow to ensure that department responsibilities and deadlines are met. This position is located in our South Burlington Service Center. Hours may vary and work is generally completed by 9:30 p.m.
Qualifications: * Supervisory experience preferred. * Minimum 1 year banking experience, knowledge of bank operations workflow preferred. * Proficient 10-key and data entry skills preferred. * Ability to perform repetitive keyboard work required. * Basic Windows PC experience required. * Good math and basic accounting skills. * AFS experience is a plus! We offer a competitive salary, commensurate with experience, as well as incentive compensation plans. We provide an excellent benefit package for all eligible full and part time employees, which includes health, dental, life and disability insurance, and a generous 401 (k). Please submit a resume and cover letter, indicating the position you are applying for, to:
Merchants Bank Attn: Human Resources P.O. Box 1009 Burlington, VT 05402 Or email to: kboyarsky@mbvt.com Or fax to: (802)865-1698 Equal Opportunity Employer
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Full-time, school year, position available to implement and assist in developing therapeutic programs which provide intensive, remedial tutoring services focused on integrating severely emotionally . and behaviorally challenged students into the classroom at our Summit Street Elementary School located in Essex Junction. Strong technical knowledge and skills in reality therapy, various counseling techniques, behavior management, crisis intervention, detecting suicidal ideation, socialization strategies, and non-aversive restraint techniques required. Position pays $ 1 2 . 4 4 / h o u r with an excellent benefits package available. For additional information and qualifications, please visit our website at www.ccsu.k12.vt.us (click on Employment Opportunities) Half-time position also available. For consideration, please send letter and resume to the address below: Chittenden Central Supervisory Union Attn: Human Resources 2 1 New England Drive Essex Jet., VT 0 5 4 5 2
Check out the employment ads in 7D Classifieds
Supervisor Item Entry
merchant
TUTORS
i
BANK
december 19, 2 0 0 1
Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault â&#x20AC;˘ | \
The Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault announces position openings as follows. Please send cover letter and resume to Vermont Network, P.O. Box 405, Montpelier VT 05601, or by e-mail to vtnetworkÂŽ vtnetwork.org. by January 10. 2002. Full-time positions begin at $30,000 plus health and retirement benefits; half-time at $15,000 with pro-rated health and retirement benefits. Sexual Violence Specialist This is a full-time salaried position. The Sexual Violence Specialist will coordinate the provision of technical support to member programs and the Sexual Violence Task Force, coordinate advocacy projects, participate in public policy and public education development, and serve as a trainer on sexual violence issues for the network. The Sexual Violence Specialist will have any combinations of education and experience equal to a BA or BS in one of the human services or relevant fields and/or four years volunteer or professional specialized experience working in sexual violence; extensive experience in the area of sexual and/or domestic violence including some experience in the provision of direct services; strong writing and verbal skills and the ability to interact and coordinate successfully with diverse groups and individuals. Requires regular statewide travel and flexible hours. Training Specialist This is a full-time salaried position. The Training Specialist will coordinate the design, development, logistics and delivery of network training, create and implement an annual training plan, coordinate the development and dissemination of training materials and related activities. The Training Specialist will have any combination of education and experience equal to a BA or BS in one of the human services or relevant fields and/or four years volunteer or professional specialized experience in an appropriate area; extensive knowledge of sexual and/or domestic violence; extensive experience in training design and delivery; strong writing and verbal skills and the ability to interact and coordinate successfully with diverse groups and individuals. Requires regular statewide travel and flexible hours. Training Administrative Specialist A part-time, 20 hours per week position. The Training Administrative Specialist will provide administrative and technical support to the Network training team and other network activities as needed. Qualifications are any combination of education and professional specialized experience equal to two years in administration, computer or clerical work; excellent office and organizational skills; experience, knowledge or the ability to leam basic computer and web maintenance skills, and strong writing and verbal skills. Requires regular statewide travel.
• employment ACCESS TO A COMPUTER? Put it to work! Up to $25$75/hr PI/FT. Call 888-492-9940, www.ExtremeCashBiz.com. ACTORS/MODELS NEEDED immediately. PT/FT. Kids, Teens & adults of all ages & ethnicities. High income potential. No experience needed. Call now! 1-800771-8810 ext 7002. (AAN CAN) BARTENDERS: Up to $250 per shift. We will train you and provide job listing. Call National Bartenders Network today. 7a.m.-7p.m. (PST). 1800-509-3630 ext 282. (AAN CAN) BARTENDERS WANTED. Make money, get trained. Fun, exciting atmosphere. Up to $250 per shift. Call 800-806-0084 x 203. (AAN CAN) CAMERA PEOPLE WANTED for public access show. Also compiling a directory of production people and actors in the Burlington area. Call Film Club Productions at 951-9619. CAREGIVER: For elderly woman in wheelchair. Great salary plus room/board. Please send resume to: P.O. Box 812, Stowe, VT 0 5 6 7 2 or call 862-0762. COMMUNITY SUPPORT worker: Small, progressive human services agency seeks skilled, creative support workers to provide communitybased support to children with developmental disabilities in the S. Burlington and Williston areas. Experienced applicants looking for an exceptional opportunity for part-time work. Call Robert at 802-295-9100. EXTRAS/ACTORS. Up to $500 a day! All looks needed. Call for info 1-800-260-3949 ext. 3025. (AAN CAN) GRANT WRITER: Community Grant Specialist to identify needs, research and write grants for Addison County non-profits. 15 hours per week (+/-). Please send resume, sample grants and 3 references to: ME Mendl, Search Committee, PO Box 555, Middlebury, VT 0 5 7 5 3 0555 by Dec. 31, 2001. MYSTERY SHOPPERS needed: Burlington and St. Albans. Apply at www.secretshopnet.com. OVERNIGHT STAFF PERSON needed to provide supportive services to a young gentleman living in the Moretown area. This position requires three overnight shift and one 24 hr shift on alternate weekends. Call John at Upper Valley Services, 496-7830. PHONE SURVEY WORK. No sales involved. Flexible hours. $8/hr plus bonus incentive. Call 657-3500. RETAIL MANAGER: Are you bright? Personable? Productive? Experienced? Take a key role at Tempo Home Furnishings. Sales opening also. Call Dick 985-8776. SALES AND MARKETING assistant: Motivated individual needed to assist our sales and marketing team. Duties will include new market research and lead prospecting (no selling). Ideal candidate will be creative thinker, 'have excellent computer skills and pleasant phone manner Flexible part-time schedule and convenient downtown location. Salary commensurate with experience. Please fax or e-mail your resume to: Fax: 865-6038, e-mail: lnoonan@800response.com. TRAVEL USA: Publication Sales co. Now hiring 18 sharp, enthusiastic individuals * free to travel the entire US. Paid travel, training, lodging and transportation furnished, return guaranteed. Start today, 1-800-530-7278.
WILDERNESS CAMP Counselor. Sleep under the stars. Hike the Appalachian Trail. Canoe the Suwanee. '' Help at-risk youth. Year-round positions. Free room/board. Excellent salary/benefits. Details & application: www.eckerd.org. Send resumes: Selection Specialist/ AN, Eckerd Youth Alternatives, P.O. Box 7450, Clearwater, FL 3 3 7 6 5 . EOE. (AAN CAN)
• work wanted NEED EXTRA HOURS in your day? Help organizing yourbusy schedule? talented assistant for hire. Events, projects, daily tasks, etc. Refs avail. Call Meghan at 860-3912.
• business opps 100 WORKERS NEEDED to assemble crafts. Materials provided. $480+ per week, free info. 24 hours. Call 1-801-428-4629. EARN UP TO $ 2 5 , 0 0 0 to $50,000/year. Medical insurance billing assistance needed immediately! Use your home computer, get FREE website and FREE long distance. 1 - 8 0 0 - 2 9 1 - 4 6 8 3 dept. 190. (AAN CAN) EARN UP TO $ 5 0 0 0 per month. PT/FT. No experience needed! Sales agents. CALL NOW!! 1 - 8 0 0 - 7 7 1 - 8 8 1 0 ext. 2 0 0 6 (AAN CAN) PEPPERIDGE FARMS bread routes for sale in Plattsburgh/ Tri lakes area/Malone and Burlington/St. Albans. Up to 90% financing. Tom Wilson, 8 8 8 - 4 1 9 - 3 3 7 3 , press 2.
• lost & found LOST: MALE FERRET, dark body, black mask, 4 to 5 lbs., very friendly. Lost Sat. night (12/1/01). Has 2 blue dots tattooed on back of one ear. Lost from 83 N. Willard St. If found contact Dane or Tanja at 865-9549.
• announcements $$CASH$$ Immediate Cash for structured settlements, annuities, notes and accident cases. 877-NOTES-31 (AAN CAN) SHORT ON CASH? Bad Credit? No problem! $ 1 0 0 0 until payday! Call today, cash tomorrow. ONE HOUR PHONE APPROVAL. 1-877-64MONEY/24 hours/7 days. (AAN CAN)
• automotive 4 PIRELLI SNOW TIRES, 175/70 R 14 8/40, used 2 months, exc. cond. $ 1 6 0 . Barrecrafters ski/snowboard rack, fits VW Jetta, adjustable rack, like new, $60. Call John at 734-1805. AUDI QUATTRO, 1984, high mileage, runs perfect, no rust. $1000. Parts car, $100. Call John R. at 223-2044. FORD CLUB WAGON, 1983, 3 5 1 Cu in, new tires/battery, inspected thru 10/2, runs great. Asking $1295/bo. Call 878-2888.
JEEP CHEROKEE, 1996, Carolina Edition, 2 dr, 65K mi. $7000. Call 8 6 0 - 2 2 4 3 . LAND ROVER DISCOVERY SD, 1997, Silver, 4x4, PW, PL, cruise, ABS, stereo w/remote. roof rack. 55K mil. Great condition. $ 1 6 , 9 0 0 OBO. Call evening: 8 6 3 - 6 9 5 9 or cell 734-8287. SAAB 900SE TURBO, 1997, black, loaded, sunroof, great cond., 57K mi. Book $15,000, will take $13,900, firm. Call 4 7 9 - 0 6 8 8 , Mon.Fri., 8 a.m. SAAB 99 GLI, 1980, 2 dr sedan, 5 spd, summer and winter tires, runs well! $650/bo. Contact David at 888-6223. SUBARU IMPREZA SEDAN, 1995, 4 dr, 5 spd, ABS, AWD, dual airbags, dark red, CD, 98K mi., new brakes, just inspected, great condition, $5300/bo. Call 453-4586'. SUBARU LOYALE, 1992, 145K mi., well-maintained, inspected thru 12/2. $1800. , Call 4 5 3 - 5 5 3 8 . SUBARU SEDAN, 1989, 4 door. Good condition, current sticker. Replaced engine: 102k miles. New timing belts and tires. $HOO/OBO. Call Ed at 865-9918. VW VAN/CAMPER, Must Sell! 20K mi. on new engine, new brakes, new battery. Runs great needs a dedicated owner. $2000/bo. Call 598-1175.
• real estate ALL AREAS: GREATROOMMATE.COM - Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.GreatRoommate.com. (AAN CAN)
• commercial props. BURLINGTON: Located at corner of North St. and N. Winooski. 1500 sq. ft at $7.50/sq. ft. Avail, immediately. Call 8 6 2 - 2 1 7 9 .
• office space BURLINGTON: Cherry St. Spacious, bright, quiet, and professional. $300/mo. Large enough for 2 or 3 people. Ideal for designers, writers, consultants, etc. Call 860-4668. MIDDLEBURY: Professional office suite avail, in a lovely Victorian setting on Court St. Easy parking. Call Valerie at 388-1177.
• space for rent BURLINGTON: "The Space" for rent at Battery Space Jeans for conferences, meetings, workshops, and dance, karate, yoga classes. High ceilings, very open, great exposure. Reasonable rates. Call 8 6 5 - 4 5 5 4 or 8 6 5 - 6 2 2 3 , ask for Lori or Michelle.
Studio Space
FORD ESCORT LX, 1998, z»dr, 5spd, 75K mi. Excellent condition, 1 owner, regularly serviced. Great in snow w/4 snow tires. $3,800 Call 865-6433
HONDA ACCORD LXI, 1989. No Rust, California car, power everything, nice interior. Original owner. $2200/obo. Call Mike at 8 8 8 - 5 3 7 1 .
Studio Place Arts in Barre has a large shared studio available for artists in central Vermont for short or long-term projects. This very large room has wonderful light and is accessible day and night. Capacity for up to 8 artists. $75/month - no lease. Call Nancy at 802.479.7069 SPAo201 N. Main Barre, VT spa4arta>sover.net
• housing for rent BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom, hardwood floors, close to Redstone Campus, sunny, coin laundry, off-street parking, heat included. Avail. 1/1. $900/mo. Call 8 6 5 - 6 0 5 9 , ext. 1. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom house. Avail. 1/1/02. Gas heat, stove and HW, W/D, new carpets and vinyl, parking. $825/mo. + utils. Call 244-5679. BURLINGTON: High quality owner's apt. Perfect for 1, maybe 2. Avail. 1/5/02. Call 8 5 9 - 9 5 3 8 for info. BURLINGTON: Large 2-bedroom, clean and bright, private yard and deck, wood firs, gas heat, parking, pets possible. $950/mo. + utils. Call 434-7688. BURLINGTON: Newly constructed duplex. 2-bedroom unit at 4 6 0 North Ave. 2 story townhouse plus full basement. W/D, ample off-parking. Avail. Jan. 15+/-. $1200/mo. + utils, dep. Call 4 3 4 - 4 7 7 4 . BURLINGTON: Spacious 2bedroom w/hardwood firs, deck, yard, W/D, close to downtown/lgke, no pets/smoking. Avail. 1/1. $1090/mo. + utils. Call 660-9009. BURLINGTON: Spacious 4bedroom, 2-bath in Hill section. Quiet street, beautiful kitchen, hardwood firs, spacious living room, gas fireplace, study, attached garage. No smokers. $1800/mo. + utils. Call 658-8041. BURLINGTON: Wonderful, sunny 2-bedroom apt. Hardwood firs, new bathroom, parking, deck, large yard. Near waterfront and downtown. No dogs/smokers. Avail. 2/1/02. $800/mo. + utils. Call 862-6782, evenings or leave msg. COLCHESTER VILLAGE: Pierre Apts. 1-bedroom units, no pets. $ 5 9 5 to $625/mo., 1 utilities included. Call 5-8 p.m., 879-6027. ESSEX JCT: 3-bedroom, spacious, modern. $1250/mo., heat and elec. included. Call 878-5720. ESSEX JCT: Charming 3-bedroom, many upgrades, safe and clean. Prof, no smoking/pets. $1050/mo. + sec deposit. Call 8 7 8 - 7 8 0 8 . ESSEX JCT: Lovely 2-bedroom, gas heat, W/D, yard, no pets. $800/mo. + utils. Call 878-8548. SHELBURNE: 2-bedroom, no smoking/pets, W/D. Avail. 1/1/02. $900/mo., includes heat. Call 9 8 5 - 3 7 0 3 . WATERBURY: Refurnished 2bedroom. New appliances, walk to downtown, near highway, no pets/smokers. Avail. 1/2. $800/mo., includes electric and parking, call 355-3133. WINOOSKI: Large 3-bedroom, v W/D, parking, no pets. $1000/mo., includes heat/HW. Call 878-8548. WINOOSKI: Nice and clean with character. 1 and 2-bedroom apts. Avail. Jan./Feb. Dogs negotiable with refs. $975-$1200/mo. Call 654-8567. WINOOSKI: The Woolen Mill "Vermont's Most Unique Apartments". Spacious loft style apartments offering exposed brick and beams, river views, professional onsite management. Pool, racquetball court and health club included in rent. Studios, 1, 2, 2 + loft, parking. No pets. Call M-F, 9-5 for more information. (802)655-1186.
• sublets BURLINGTON: 2 rooms for rent in 7-bedroom house with •college students. Dec. 15 to June 1. $342/mo. + utils. Call Kate at 2 0 7 - 8 6 2 - 2 5 7 2 or Jessica at 7 2 7 - 7 2 6 - 2 9 0 6 .
BURLINGTON: Redstone apts. Jan. thru May or Aug. Furnished 1-bedroom, heat and trash included, easy walk to UVM. Call 7 3 4 - 0 0 5 0 .
• housing wanted BURLINGTON: Mature craftsman needs room, one night a week. Willing to exchange chores or fix projects for room. Non-smoker, refs. Call 744-2345. BURLINGTON: Smart, friendly, responsible F student seeks spacious room in apt. or house near UVM. Starting ASAP or no later than 1/15/02. Call Catherine at 9 1 7 - 7 4 2 - 4 3 4 7 or e-mail catherinefoley@angelfire.com. CHITTENDEN COUNTY: Prof, relocating to VT. Non-smoking 55 YO SM. Refs, no pets, looking for small house. Starting: 1/8/02-2/1/02. Call 727-723-1960. CHITTENDEN COUNTY: Young professional couple looking for apartment/house that allows dogs. Please call Meredith, days 8 7 8 - 0 3 4 6 or evenings 253-3725. RICHMOND AREA: Responsible, quiet, respectful, open-minded, mature, progressive, outdoor-oriented M, 40's, seeks peaceful, affordable living situation. Please .call 8 0 2 - 2 2 9 - 9 3 5 1 .
• room for rent BURLINGTON: Furnished clean, quiet, off-street parking, laundry, cable, shared kitchen/bath. No smoking/ pets. $500/mo. includes all. Call 8 6 2 - 3 3 4 1 . WINOOSKI: Grad student. New, clean, semi-studio. Refrigerator, microwave, separate entrance. Non-smoking, quiet, no pets. $300/mo, + deposit and refs. Call 655-5448.
• vacation rental KEELER BAY, S. HERO: Booking rentals for summer 2002. Memorial Day thru fall foliage. Call 8 0 2 - 3 7 2 - 4 5 8 1 or e-mail islandvaca@yahoo.com.
• housemates ARE YOU A CARING person tired of high rents? We have elder home providers who charge low/no rent in exchange for few hours of weekly household help and friendly company. Call Project Home at 8 6 3 - 5 6 2 5 . EHO. BURLINGTON: 1 M/F to share 4-bedroom house. Off-street parking. Avail Mid-Jan. $350/mo. + utils. Call 860-5009. BURLINGTON: 1 person wanted to share 3-bedroom apt. W/D on premises. $350/mo., heat/HW included. Call Scott or Heather at 951-1191. BURLINGTON: 2 housemates needed. Downtown location, spacious. Avail. Jan 1. $325/mo. Call 2 3 8 - 9 7 5 4 . BURLINGTON: F to share small 2-bedroom apt. Offstreet parking, no pets. Avail, immediately, lease ends in May. $367/mo. + 1/2 utils. Call 8 6 5 - 0 3 0 3 . BURLINGTON: F to share spacious 2-bedroom apt. in Hill Gardens. Close to UVM/downtown. Private balcony, own parking space, no pets, smoker ok. Avail. Jan 2nd. Lease is up May 31st. $450/mo., includes hot water + 1/2 utilities. Call 8 6 2 - 5 6 2 1 , ieave message for Kelly. BURLINGTON: Looking for honest M/F to share clean 2bedroom apt. on corner of Pine and King St. $425/mo. Call 8 6 2 - 3 0 5 0 .
december 19, 2 0 0 1
BURLINGTON: LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT PLACE? Large yard, gardens, clean, cozy, good people! W/D, offstreet parking. $400/mo. Call 864-3255. BURLINGTON: Non-smoking prof./grad. to share 3-bedroom condo. W/D, parking. Avail. 1/1/02-6/30/02. $ 4 5 0 / m o „ includes all. Call 658-9589. BURLINGTON: Prof. F (40's) seeking same to share quiet Red Rocks condo. Fireplace, own bath, parks/interstate nearby, no pets/smoking. $475/mo. + 1/2 utils. Call 660-2877. BURLINGTON; Seeking prof. M, open-minded to share large 3-bedroom apt. Convenient downtown location, parking, no dogs. $400/mo. + 1/3 utils. Call 864-6505. BURLINGTON: Share 3-bedroom apt. with M grad. student and prof. F. Off-street parking, W/D. Avail. 1/1/02. $300/mo. + 1/3 utils. Call Amanda at 652-4827. BURLINGTON: Share w/grad student & prof. Sunny flat, hardwood floors, DW, private entrance, quiet building, no long-term lease. Hill section, 5 min. to UVM. $475/mo. + 1/3 utils. Nate at 238-7860 for details. BURLINGTON: Shared condo at 68A S. Willard St., located between Church St. & University. 1-1/2 BA, W/D, parking. Prefer F prof./grad. No pets. 1 large furnished room, $380/mo. Call 238-9847 or 6 6 0 - 7 1 7 2 . CHARLOTTE: Share beautiful 1890's farmhouse with three responsible adults and one cat. No smokers/pets. $350/mo. + 1/4 utils. and deposit. Call Jack at 425-4761. ESSEX: Close to IBM, 20 acres. $400/mo. + utils. Call Steve at 8 7 8 - 3 6 3 6 . ESSEX JCT: Charming country farm house. 1 spacious room, $430/mo. 1 large room, $375/mo. No smokers, includes utils. Call 2888155, ask for Glenn. ESSEX JCT: Looking for prof F, Mid-20's to share 2-bedroom apt. W/D, DW, must be clean. $385/mo. + utils and 1 month dep. Call 8 7 9 - 8 3 7 1 . ESSEX JCT: Responsible, prof ./grad. F to share nice home. W/D, no smokers. Avail. 2/1/02. $400/mo., includes utils. Call 879-4226. HINESBURG: Share country home on 10 acres w/mountain views and 30-foot waterfall. No pets. $400/mo., includes utils. Call 4 8 2 - 7 6 7 3 (days), 4 3 4 - 2 1 2 1 (nights). JERICHO: 1 room in 3-bedroom house. Large yard, fireplace, hardwd firs. Avail, immediately, rent free until 1/1. $500/mo. + 1/3 utils and dep. Call 8 9 9 - 4 9 4 7 or 865-4378. MONKTON: 1-2 housemates for farmhouse, lots of land, no smoking. Avail, now. $350/mo. + utils. Call 453-3309. RICHMOND VILLAGE: Seeking younger woman to share our 3-bedroom house. Spacious, hrdwd firs, W/D, yard, quiet street, fun roommates, 1 dog. $325/mo. + utils. call 4 3 4 - 7 3 3 6 . SHELBURNE: Grad./prof. to share large house on Shelburne Bay. Private setting, great views, W/D, fireplace. $600/mo. + utils. Call 802-355-0304. SHELBURNE: Share 3-bedroom house, close to downtown, M/F, pets OK. Avail. Jan. 1. W/D, large bedroom and storage space. $475/mo. + utils and dep. Call 985-3961. WAITSFIELD: Non-smoking, dog friendly person to share large condo, close to Sugarbush and Mad River Glen. $425/mo. + 1/2 utils. Call 2 3 3 - 0 5 8 9 .
S E V E N DAYS
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• services • ride share
• buy this stuff
• musicians avail
R I D E W A N T E D : To Boston for
AFFORDABLE, CONVENIENT,
B A S S PLAYER seeks w o r k . 9
2 adults hoping to depart late Fri. the 21st or early Sat. the 22nd. Will pay for fuel. Matt 654-7091
Wolff Tanning Beds. Low monthly investments. Home delivery. FREE color catalog. Call today: 1-800-711-0158. www.np.etstan.com.
years experience in club and event band. Prefer blues, rock, anything with a good groove. Call 802-933-6655.
• entertainment
ATEESHIRTCO.COM: Award
close-to-working band. 60-7080-90's,top 40, rock, blues vocals and transportation. Call 802-244-1683.
winning designs on our award winning shirts. You won't believe how comfortable they are, guaranteed. Tee's with tails, and free shipping. (AAN CAN)
ATTN: ALL LOCAL ARTISTS/
bands/solo performers. 135 Pearl is currently booking for the 2002 season. Please send demo and promo package to: 135 Pearl Street, Burlington VT 0 5 4 0 1 c/o Events.
HAVE Y O U R S E L F A
ATTN: A L L THEATER compa-
nies. 135 Pearl is currently booking for their 2002 theater season. Please submit script and proposals to: 135 Pear Street, c/o Robert Toms, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 or call 802-863-2343.
2 6 " x 3 0 " , 11: 2 0 " x 2 4 " , 4: 16"x24", 6: 1 4 " x l 7 " , 11: l l " x l 4 " . Can be cut for free. Acme Glass price: $340. Take it all for $35/obo. 453-5705.
• sports equip.
A R E YOU S I N G L E . . . t i r e d of
empty promises? We won't make any. Finding love is not easy, but we can help. Take 30 seconds and decide for yourself. Call 6 5 1 - 7 6 6 0 or visit www.beinloveagain.com.
BURTON CUSTOM 159.
Board, Boots (M 9 1/2) and bindings $200/obo. Nidecker Boots M 9 1/2, brand new $75. Call 8 8 8 - 5 3 7 1 . SOLOFLEX: Bench with leg and butterfly attachments, good condition. $50. Call 864-3107.
HOLIDAY S P E C I A L ! For 1 5
years we've helped single people make their dreams come true. There has never been a better time to introduce you. See for yourself. Call today for details. Compatibles, 872-8500.
• computers. COMPACT COMPUTERS built
to order. Pentium 4 available, resolved credit problems okay. 0 down, low payments, OAC. Limited time FREE internet w/Earthlink. 8 0 0 - 7 2 3 - 7 9 4 0 Code AN51. www.omcsolutions.com (AAN CAN)
SINGLES CONNECTION:
Professional and intelligent dating network for singles. Bidirectional matching. Lifetime memberships. Please call (800) 775-3090 or www.nesingles.com. Helping you get connected.
WORD PROCESSOR: Brother,
model 3 4 1 0 , 12" screen, spreadsheet, dual screen capacity. $50. Call 244-5337.
• professional services
• furniture BED: Pillowtop mattress, box and frame. Never used, must sell. $290. Cell phone, 598-0316. FUTON: Full-size, solid oak, 6' mattress, new in box. Cost $ 7 4 5 , sell $ 3 5 0 . Call 802-734-0788.
PROFESSIONAL T H I N K E R S :
Semi-retired, think tank veterans at your service. Generating a sea of brilliant and insightful ideas and problem solutions. Contact Satire Group at 2 3 8 - 2 6 6 8 .
• ski/snowboard instruction
• music for sale A D A S T R A R E C O R D I N G as
BEG. TO EXP., individual or groups. 1/2 or full-day pricing. You choose the mountain, we'll be your guide. Call for details, J at 860-9500.
featured in the March 2 0 0 1 issue of EQ magazine. Relax. Record. Get the tracks, website: www.adastrarecording.com Call 8 7 2 - 8 5 8 3 .
• financial
C Z E C H U P R I G H T 3 / 4 size,
Fishman pickup and pre amp, heavy duty spike, Gig bag included. Sounds and plays great. $ 1 5 0 0 . Contact Mike at 8 8 8 - 5 3 7 1 .
STOP F O R E C L O S U R E !
Behind on your mortgage? We can help you save your home! Guaranteed service. 1-800915-9704 ext. 216. (AAN CAN)
DJEMBE HAND DRUM. Hand
made in Burkina Faso. Professional quality w/beautiful carvings. Price neg. Must sell. Call 8 6 5 - 3 3 8 7 .
• climbing instruction
DJEMBES! DRUMS (from
Guinea, Ivory Coast, Mali). Djundjuns, Krin, Congos, Bata Drums, skins, rings and reskinning. Djembe rentals $30/mo. Call Stuart Paton at 658-0658.
INDOOR/OUTDOOR C L I M B -
ING coach. Full assessment and training programs for individuals looking to improve or compete. Youth and adult. National championship experienced coach. Call J at 860-9500.
R O L A N D VS 1 8 8 0
looking for jobs to expand portfolio. Will shoot your two hour event for $50. Film and developing at cost, you keep the negatives! Call Sarah at 899-1313, Iv msg.
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38a
C L A S S I C A L G U I T A R I S T avail,
for all occasions. Standard or Holiday repertoire. From Bach to Jingle Bells. Call Rick Belford at 8 6 5 - 8 0 7 1 . gratulates the Meat Packers for the generous airplay given to them at WOKO for 'The Truck Song' ! Being able to be completely at ease in the studio translates once again into music people want to hear. Check us out: www.littlecastle.com or 1(800) 2 9 4 - 7 2 5 0
SEVEN DAYS
irSsiA *„ vk m .• .a ssSErfs
l ift New Y c H home, Wealt ;
Upscale Agency Seeks Young. Attractive arid Articfulate Female Models (18 to ?8 y.o.) We prefer Busty Blondes or Caucasian Brunettes! Stay at out plush, luxury hi-rise buildhg in IMYC at no cost tcwpu. Mail your pics & Ao to: Ms. Hunter 1 1 0 East 23rd St. Suite 903 New York, NY 1 0 0 1 0
looking for committed musicians. Call Scott now for an audition, 860-4911. NAUGHTY LOCAL GIRLS WANT TO GET NASTY WITH YOU No CONNECT Ptfc"
G U I T A R I S T A N D KEYBOARDIST needed to com-
plete band. Original songs ready to go. CD's completed. Adventurous mixture of pop and rock styles. Other instrumentalists welcome. Jeff 658-9657/Adam 3 6 3 - 8 8 9 8
december 19, 2 0 0 1
or submit an online application at our website: Party7k.com Agents are Most Welcomed!
212*741*7156
$0.69 PER Mil/ _ 1-888-420-BABE 1-900-420-3377 1-784-490-7777
G U I T A R I S T L O O K I N G for
bass and drums to jam, hopefully play out and become rock stars. Have a jamspace in Richmond area set up with plenty of instruments inc. drums. Dedicated and serious. Influenced by jambands such as Phish, Widespread, Moe., etc. Lv message at 8 0 2 - 2 8 8 - 9 7 4 9 or through JohnnyBanjo.com.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS!
SEVEN DAYS Making sense of the fine print.
refreshing.
S O L O M O N ' S W O R L D seeks
visionary musicians, old school, new school, who are hard-working, street wise and spiritual for a multi-dimentional recording and gigging project. Call 802-454-1549.
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• music instruct.
Send in a pic of your auto, motorcycle,
C O N G A S , D J E M B E , bata a n d
taiko. Do your hands hurt when you play? I can help. Call Stuart Paton at 658-0658. G U I T A R : A l l styles/levels.
Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar/ Grippo, etc.), 862-7696. GUITAR: Berklee graduate with classical background offers lessons in guitar, theory, and ear training. Individualized, progressive approach. I enjoy teaching all ages/styles/levels. Call Rick Belford at 865-8071. MANDOLIN: Lead, back-up, vocal accompaniment, music theory. All ages/levels. Tenor Banjo/Irish Bouzouki/guitar instruction also available. Brian Perkins (Atlantic Crossing, Celtic College) 660-9491.
• pets
FORD ESCORT 6T, 1989, 2 dr, 5 spd, lots of miles, okay body, speed stripe, answers to the name "Cokey". $sooo/bro. Call Diane at 864-5684.
we'll whip ya up a sweet ad like this one that'll get results!
For more information or to place your ad, call Josh at (802) 864-5684
Carpool Connection
BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am looking for a ride to Milton from Burlington during the day. My hours and days are flexible. (40087)
Call 8 6 4 - C C T A to respond to a listing or to be listed.
MORRISVILLE to ESSEX. ) need a ride to IBM. I work from 7 pm-7 am. (40057) ST. ALBANS to ESSEX I need a ride to IBM. I need to be to work between 7:30 am & 9:30 am. (40056) BURLINGTON to S. BURLINGTON. I need a ride to Sears at the University Mall. I work Sun.-Sat. from 6 am-2 pm. (40058) WATERBURY to MONTPELIER. My hours are 7 am-3 pm. I am flexible & looking for a ride M-F. (40045)
I am looking for a new home, and somebody who will have plenty of love, time and energy for me. I have spent the last 5 1 / 2 years of my life surrounded by children (young and old)', cats, dogs, other animals, and of course plenty of adults. I get along with them all wonderfully! Please call Jordan and find out more about me at 860.4668.
or boat, with a 2 5 word description, and
S. BURLINGTON to ESSEX JCT. I am looking for a ride to IBM from S. Burlington. I work M-F, 8 am-4:30 pm. (40038)
WILLISTON to COLCHESTER. I am looking for a ride to Water Tower Hill in Colchester from Williston and back from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. (40093)
BURLINGTON to COLCHESTER. I am looking for a ride to Colchester Monday-Friday. (40084) BURLINGTON to MILTON or COLCHESTER. I am looking for a ride to Milton or Colchester from Burlington at 4:30 p.m. (40096) BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am looking for a ride from Burlington to Chimney Comers Monday-Friday. My hours are 6:00am to 4:00pm. (40083) BURLINGTON to ESSEX JCT. I am looking for a ride to Essex Junction Monday-Friday. My hours are 8:00am-5:00pm. (40085)
BURLINGTON to RICHMOND. I am looking for a ride at 7:00 a.m. one way, Monday-Friday. (40109) MONKTON to WILLISON. I am looking to share driving, Monday-Friday, 8 : 0 0 a.m. to 5:00 £.m. (40125) ESSEX JCT. to ESSEX CTR. I am looking for a ride to Price Chopperin Essex, Sat. and Sun, 10:30 p.m. to 7 : 0 0 a.m. (40126) " GRAND ISLE FERRY to BURLINGTON. I am looking for share driving Mon.-Fri., 9 : 0 0 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. (40016) WINOOSKI to GRAND ISLE FERRY. I am looking to share driving Mon.Fri., 7:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. (40015)
BURLINGTON to S. BURLINGTON. I am looking fora ride Mon., Tues., Fri., & Sat. I work from 9:30am 6:00pm. 4 0 0 7 7 . BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am looking for a ride to IBM Mon. Sun. My hours are 9:00am - 5:pm. (40079)
VANPOOL RIDERS WANTED Route from; Burlington & Richmond Commuter Lot
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Monthly Fare: $85
Work Hours: 7:30 to 4:25 p.m.
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• acupuncture
• hand pain relief
• rebirthing
DAVID KAPLAN, L.Ac. PMS troubling you again? Is lower back pain limiting? Try the natural alternative to drugs. Nationally certified and licensed. Free initial consultation. Call 657-4372.
MUSICIANS, COMPUTER operators: Prevent & eliminate carpal tunnel syndrome, tendonitis, back pain; learn an effortless technique which coordinates your fingers, hands, arms. Gain accuracy, speed, power, ease. Alison Cheroff, master teacher, concert pianist. 16 years preventing surgeries, teaching virtuosity. Call 454-1907.
ENJOY THE REST of your life. Embark on an inward journey to clarity and peace of mind through conscious connected breath. Individuals or groups guided by Martin Gil, 865-1035.
• astrology INNER PLANETS astrology. Prof, reports, average 25-30 pages. 888-656-9033/802755-6749. Natal, relationship compatibility and career/education guidance reports. $25$30 + $2 s/h. All major credit cards accepted. LESSONS.& READINGS, questions answered. Certified astrologer. Call John Morden at 655-9113.
• healing touch IMPROVE THE QUALITY of your life from the inside out. $40/hr. Call Diana Vachon 985-5083.
• massage A MASSAGE IS a great way to unwind the past few weeks (Months? Years?) of stress, so you can really enjoy your life and feel good about yourself. Burlington office. James Mann; 16 years experience. Call 802-482-7554. BETH YOUNG, Massage for Inner Peace. An extraordinary massage experience. Integrative massage and Shiatsu sessions. Gifts certificates avail. Burlington location. Call 846-2091.
• feng shui CONSULTATIONS FOR homes, businesses, schools. Gift certificates available. Change your surroundings, change your life! Certified Feng Shui Practitioner Carol C. Wheelock, M.Ed. 802-496-2306, ccwheel@accessvt.com, www.fengshuivermont.com.
• general health
DUAL DIVINITY MASSAGE by Nena DeLeon, Judy Wolf and Jim Bright. Dual massage at $65/hr, $85/1.5 hrs. Single massage also available. MSun, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Call 8 6 5 - 2 4 8 4 or 350-5172. TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 mins. of relaxation. Deep therapeutic massage. $50/sess. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Flex, schedule. Aviva Silberman, 872-7069.
GIVE THE GIFT OF HEALING. Herbal/nutritional consultation, energetic therapy. Special $10 off a gift certificate, of $50 or more. Call Earth Spirit Healing at 496-2240. OPTIMAL HEALTH give yourself and those you the love the gift of good health. 22 years of exp. in nutrition. Let us help you lose weight, increase energy, look and feel younger inside and out. Call 800-940-5673. ' " • VIAGRA, PHENTERMINE, ETC. No previous prescription or doctor visit required. Delivered in 1-2 days. Call toll free 1-866-GET-M0J0 (1-866-438-5858) or www.1866getmojo.com (AAN CAN)
• personal coach LIFE COACHING: Empowering you to stop reacting to life and start choosing your life. "You must want it more than you fear it." Call me for a free sample session. Robyn Yurcek, life coach. 655-0131.
WWW.HERBSPICETEA.COM, Ultimate on-line SOURCE for over 500 varieties of Gourmet Culinary Herbs, Spices, Teas, Botanicals, Extracts, Essential Oils, and Capsules at Wholesale Prices. Since 1969. (AAN CAN)
• support groups STUDENTS AGAINST HARASSMENT AND ABUSE: Tuesdays, 7-8 p.m. Barlow St. Center, St. Albans. Info, 5248538. Share your story and learn ways to protect yourself in this support group for girls who have been harassed by other students. WIDOWS & WIDOWERS: Looking for persons interested in forming a support group for activities in the Burlington area. Info, 656-3280. "HELLENBACH" CANCER SUPPORT: Every other Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. Middlebury. Call to verify meeting place. Info, 3886107. People living with cancer and their caretakers convene for support. INFANT LOSS AND SUPPORT: Tuesdays, 6:308:30 p.m. Essex Free Library. Info, 878-0046. Parents coping with the death of an infant — and raising subsequent children — swap stories while their kids play. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various locations. Free. Info, 8608382. Want to overcome a drinking problem? Take the first step — of 12 — and join a group in your area. AL-ANON: Ongoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First Congregational Church, N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. Free. Info, 655-6512. Seven other locations also. Info, 860-8388. Do you have a friend or relative with an alcohol problem? Alcoholics Anonymous can help. ADDISON COUNTY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: Various locations. Free. Info, 388-4205. Support groups benefit survivors of sexual assault and women who have experienced physical or emotional abuse.
• personal training
NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various locations in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, 862-4516. If you're ready to stop using drugs, this group of recovering addicts can offer inspiration. SEX AND LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS: Sundays, 7 p.m. Free. Info, write to P.O. Box 5843, Burlington, 0 5 4 0 2 . Get help through this weekly 12-step program.
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Dec. 20 - 26 ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Scientists at the Crazy Wisdom Institute of Applied Surpriseology have discovered the existence of the Clown Chakra. Located between the Gut and Sex Chakras, it houses the sense of humor and determines one's capacity for spiritually cleansing laughter. Sadly, it's largely shut down in most people, resulting in the current global epidemic of taking things too damn seriously. Judging from the astrological omens in 2002, however, I'm happy to say that you Aries have great prospects for success in opening your Clown Chakras. To spur this exciting development, I suggest you give yourself a holiday gift like Clown Act Omnibus, a book by Wes McVicar that tells how to perform 200 clown stunts.
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hint about how to bag the big game you've been hunting for; a ship's anchor to prod you to be more concrete as you seek greater stability; and lessons in a martial art so as to toughen you up in a way that also relaxes you.
CANCER
(June 21-July 22): What would be the perfect present for me to give you this holiday season? I believe it would be an elegant 18-inch-square black velvet-covered wooden box with absolutely nothing in it. Around the outside would be gold foil ribbon on which was written the words "The Fertile Treasure of Emptiness." In offering you this gift, I'd hope it might encourage you to reverently purge your mind of all assumptions and expectations as you enter 2002. As I handed it to you, I'd gaze into your eyes and communicate telepathically everything I know about how to render the past irrelevant. Then I'd whisper, "May you cultivate a naked, unconditioned, freewheeling hunger for fresh experience."
TAURUS
(Apr. 20-May 20): You're always the hardest worker in the zodiac, but in 2001 you've really outdone yourself. As a reward, I wish I could send you wacky yet meaningful holiday gifts that would hint at the relief and release you have ahead of you. To show my appreciation for your buoyant mastery of minutiae, I'd give you a grain of wild rice with your name written on it. To honor the constructive attitude you've maintained while carrying out demanding midcourse corrections, I'd buy you a ship captain's hat surmounted by a propeller. To acknowledge how relentless you've been as you've grappled with your shadow, I'd buy you a gold lam£ wrestling uniform. And to celebrate you for being so practical in your spirituality, I'd. write a book for you called How to Start Your Own Religion.
L E O (July 23-Aug. 22): Among the gifts you'll receive this holiday season, there may be junk like a Three Stooges talking clock or a video of a fire in a fireplace or a mailbox in the shape of a cow. You're so intense and unfathomable these days that even the people who love you may be stumped about what you'd really like. I urge you to show them this horoscope, in which I'll offer them the following advice. First, they can give you anything that nurtures your sleep and dreams, like a pillowtop mattress or luxurious sheets or aromatherapy pillows. Second, they can bless you with an iron cauldron or silver chalice or Native American dream-catcher to symbolize the recep-
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): If I were going to give you holiday gifts that would inspire you to fulfill your potential in 2002, here's what they'd be and why: a magnifying glass to enlarge your capacity to read between the lines; a wooden duck decoy as a
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—
tivity you'll need to build in 2002.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Duplicate this horoscope a few times and slip a copy onto the desk or pillow of everyone who's planning to give you a holiday gift. Then they'll know not to get you stuff that astrologers usually recommend for Virgos, like briefcases and closet organizers and day planners. Rather, they will realize that the very best way to prepare you for 2002 will be to feed your need for education that nurtures your idealism and strengthens your social circle. For example, they might offer you gift certificates to workshops taught by practical visionaries.
LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you really wanted to, you could become a top elephant trainer in 2002. You could be the creator of the world's biggest balloon sculptures or the grower of record-breaking 200pound pumpkins or the climber of redwood trees higher than the Statue of Liberty. In other words, Libra, you'll have what it takes to work on a larger scale than ever before. If you're inclined to seek mastery in less physical ways, you'll have just as much success. How about, for instance, drawing up a 10-year blueprint of your life? To inspire your efforts, I suggest you make yourself this holiday gift: a collage of you standing on a mountaintop with a halo as big as a merrygo-round.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Here are a few of the gifts I'd love to get you this holiday season: a hand-loomed Turkish shower curtain trimmed with precious stones; a mud-cloth journal crafted from Ghanaian textiles and Italian paper; ceramic and silver spice jars from Peru; and a wool patchwork ottoman
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made from the traditional ground covering used by shepherds in Kyrgyzstan. By offering you these domestic yet exotic gifts, Scorpio, I'd hope to inspire you to expand your sense of home in 2002; to relax as you extend your reach; to travel far and wide whether or not you ever leave your natural habitat.
your approach to love. If I uld get you a holiday present, it might be a gift certificate for 10 sessions with a psychothera—* pist who specializes in relationships, plus a pair of plastic toy triceratops with which to enact playful psychodramas.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In my meditations about what holiday gifts you'd benefit from, I keep seeing how crucial it'll be for you to resist and deflect wrong-headed opinions about who you are and how you should live your life. (And I mean your own wrong-headed opinions as well as other people's.) Here, then, is my symbolic present for you: a print of Vincent van Gogh's painting "The Sower," which depicts a farmer dropping seeds in hisfieldsat sunrise. At the bottom of the print I'd write this quote from van Gogh: "If you hear a voice within you saying, 'You are not a painter,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced."
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you have any interest in genealogy or the mysteries of your past, 2002 will be a good time to heat up your investigations. Lost relatives will be easier to track down. Missing heirlooms, too. Even long-buried family secrets could erupt into view — b o t h of the dirty variety and the sparkling kind. Wouldn't it be fun if you found out you were a descendant of American Revolutionary War spy Nathan Hale or Mata Hari, the Dutch double agent during World War I? A discovery like that might rouse in you more of the sleuth-like qualities that'll be so useful in the coming months. Suggested holiday gift for yourself: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Online Genealogy, by Rhonda McClure.
PISCES
(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): If I could afford to send every one of you holiday gifts, here's what I'd get and why: a kite bearing an image of a goofy dragon, which I hope would encourage you to indulge in more ferocious frivolity in 2002; a photo of a greenhouse to symbolize the expedited growth you'll be capable of; an Aladdin's lamp to suggest that you'll have unexpected help in conjuring up seemingly impossible breakthroughs; and a little red wagon carrying the treat you were most deprived of in childhood.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22Jan. 19): Dinosaurs were sometimes so titanic that they found it difficult to do what was necessary to propagate their species. To appreciate the difficulty, picture a 12,000-pound male triceratops attempting to rise up on his hind legs and balance the top half of his body on a female's back long enough to finish the mating act. Sadly, some humans are so fixated in their romantic habits that their awkwardness with intimacy is almost as severe. Even if you are one of these people, though (and I'm not necessarily saying that you are), 2002 will bring rich opportunities to streamline
You can call Rob day or night for
expanded w e e k l y
horoscope 1-900-903-2500 Si.99 per minute. 18 end over. Touchtone phone. C/S 612/373-9785 And don't forget to check out Hob's Web site at Mr NT Mr.fre e wriiiastroiogy. com Updated Tuesday night.
last week's answers
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ACROSS 1 Existed 4 Obscure 9 Apply lightly 12 Fashionably nostalgic 17 Choir member 19 City on the Mohawk 20 Actor Tognazzi 21 Shrivel up 22 Joe Harnell hit 25 In distress 26 Actress Shire 27 Individual performances . 28 Asta's father 30 Police hdqrs. 31 Profited 34 NATO member 37 Churchill's successor 38 Jason Biggs film 41 Coasted 42 Fugue composer 46 — Bator 47 Grab all the goodies 48 Anthony Quinn role 50 Pennsylvania port 51 Crack up 53 Taxi 55 Condemns 57 Whereto find a ;V fennec
59 Parasite 61 Casserole cover 63 Place of origin 65 Pack peppers 67 New Deal agcy. 68 Reggae's Marley 69 "Roots" Emmy winner 70 Blanc or Brooks 72 The Cyrkle hit 76 Narcs' org. 7 7 Sheepish sound 79 Sandra of "A Summer Place" 80 Neighbor of Tenn. 81 Tracking tool 83 Singer Tori 84 Spud bud 85 Vote in 8 7 Dull 90 Time and again 92 It may be fake 94 Stringed instrument 9 6 Machu Picchu native 9 7 Tolkien character 9 9 Attained
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101 Football's Van Brocklin 102 Like kids at Christmas 103 Drescherof 'The Nanny" 104 Hollywood award 108 Banister 109 Cheeseboard choice 110 Jet of yore 114 Fury 115 Encounter 1 1 6 " — Lama Ding Dong" ('61 tune) 119 Dropped the ball 121 "Blue Velvet" singer 123 Men/ Griffin creation 128 Salad veggie 129"—Man" 067 hit) 130 Senator Hatch 131 Mix 132 Cafe vessel 1 3 3 Craggy hill 134 Peter of Herman's Hermits 135 Lady lobster
DOWN 1 Float on the breeze . 2 Jones of "Show Boat"
3 Type 4 Except 5 Monty's milieu 6 What the shoe does 7 — Rios, Jamaica 8 Ancient tongue 9 Couple 10 Past 11 Tiny tree 12 Indian export 13 Archaic ending 14 Gary Lewis & the Playboys hit 15 Let 16 Phantom instalment 18 Skip 21 Beaver's dad 23 "I could — horsel" 24 Biblical book 29 "Mockingbird" singer Foxx 32 Attempt to equal 33 Oscar — Renta Tei 35i Tennyson's Arden 36 Green org. 3 7 Wades through a crowd 3 9 Julia of "Havana"
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88 Member of the mil. 8 9 Joke 91 Torts of time 93 Hard on the eyes 95 Author Hubbard 98 Brute 100 Pied-a- — 103 Breakfast food 105 Get the better of 106 Kevin of "SNL" 1 0 7 Part of EMT 108 Shipbuilding need 109 Passed-on item 111 Fleming and Linkletter 112 Consequences alternative 113 Skater Sonja 115 Budge 117 See 6 9 Down 118 Fluffy coif 120 Bruce of "Coming Home" 122 "Whether — nobler in the mind..." 124 Medical grp. 125 Corn portion 126 Perch part 1 2 7 Waugh's T h e Loved —"
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GREETINGS, MY NAME IS WAYNE. I'M 6'2", 210 lbs., brown eyes. I'm a model/designer, 1 also write novels. I want to hear from any F, 21 and older, who is honest and down to Earth. 8092
womm
YOU'RE THE NEEDLE, I'M THE THREAD. Let's make something lasting. SDWM, 46, 6', 180, loving, personable, handsome, financially secure. With 40' sailboat, nice country home, eclectic interests. ISO SWF, 35+, educated, nice, slender, pretty. 8289 TEACHER WANTED. WM, 33, JUST EXITING long term monogamous relationship. ISO experienced F to help me refine and diversify. Age unimportant. I'm sexy, kind and discreet. Emphasis on mutual pleasure. 8113 DWM ISO A LOVING F, 40-55. I AM CONSIDered good-tooking, 5'io", 190 lbs., dark hair/blue eyes. F who is average build, not over weight, has a sense of humor & enjoys life, but most of all honesty. 8180 AS I AM RUNNING DOWN THE COUNTRY dirt road I realize I'm not thinking so much anymore. After some time the old endorphins kick in and there you are. NS. M seeks kind, endorphined friend. 8490 SWM, BLUE EYES/BROWN HAIR, 150 lbs. I'M a sociable guy who likes to do most anything. I like a woman in her 40S-50S. Hope I am the one for you. 8278 READY, WILLING AND ABLE. SAVVY, SINcere, cerebral, enjoys the good things. ISO music and literature loving F. Mtns, seas, poetry breaths. Reach out and grab it. 8519 CRANKY LONER DJM, 39, THAT LAUGHS AT this artsy, leftist, socialist rag. ISO sarcastic witty babe that doesn't fear a razor. I know, I'm screwed. (But honest!) 8172
* " I t
ATTRACTIVE, FIT, NS, SWPF, BLUE EYES, blond hair, 5*6", 44 YO. Loves outdoors, reading, meditation. ISO honest, kind hearted, intelligent, 38-50, energetic SWPM who enjoys life. For friendship or LTR.8231
* * I * I
CURVACEOUS, PLAYFUL, VERY PRETTY, * intelligent, diverse interests, passion for the * arts, hope to find handsome DP (Dad?), 40- * 50, at least 5*7, with some dreams left to * live. 8463 ; SWPF, 40, GENTLE-HEARTED SOUL, GOODhumored. Seeks considerate, spunky, quick witted, animal-loving SWPM, 40-45. To enjoy each others company, movies, the arts and wood walking.8i93
° * * t »
AMERICAN WOMAN, 39, 5*9". WARMhearted, sincere, loves soft music, candlelight, intimate conversation. Seeks tatl, loving, well-built man of Middle eastern Qrigin with high morals for LTR.8526
; * * * ;
Are you lonely tonight? No need! Answer one of these great ads or place one of your own. MXr
(That's how I met Morris!)
YOUTHFUL, PETITE, DWPF, 51, AVERAGE ; fitness, enjoys hiking, biking, snowshoeing, j children, animals, travel, diverse music, J dancing. ISO compassionate, well-read, * energetic man, 40-60, to share similar inter- * ests, possible ltr.8487 j I JUST WANT TO GET LAID! I'M FRUSTRATED • attractive Redheaded BiF, 19, who needs a * man who will help satisfy me while I satisfy * him! Shape/Color unimportant! 8296 j
SWPF, 24, 5'8", LOVES TRAVEL, ART, auctions & learning. Assertive, opinionated, workaholic. ISO taller, interesting SPM, sensitive, handy, mature, nice guy. NS/ND. 8191
SWF, 25 YO, ATTRACTIVE ARTIST, FUN AND fun loving. ISO a friend to discuss life, love and art with. Let's make the rules up as we go along. 8456
* » • *
SWF, 57, LIFE-LOVING, OPEN, NATURAL, minded, family-oriented. ISO 50-65 YO, tall, NS M who knows about life and wants a lot more of it.8siS
ISO THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE. SWF, 31, mother of two seeks a SWM between the ages of 28-39 who enjoys dancing, movies and taking walks if you are that someone please respond.8205
j » » * »
SWF VEGETARIAN, ENVIRONMENTALIST, AVID hiker, runner. Seeking SM, 38-55, for friendship, possible LTR. Prefer woods to crowds, but enjoy cultural events. Into alternative health care, folk music, organic food. 8274
SWF, MATURE, NUTRITIONAL CONSERVATIVE, J fiscal moderate, political progressive, artistic * liberal, sexual radical. ISO spirited discus• sion and possible collaboration.8483
HEALTHY, HAPPY, SEXY & READY. ISO A "real man", SPM, 30S-early 40s, who values personal growth, nature & mature intimacy. Are you healthy, happy & ready too? Friendship first, no kids... yet.8288
PLAYMATE WANTED. SWF, 28-45, TO SPOIL, pamper, kiss ass to. For all-expense paid vacation to sunny California w/fit SWPM, 48. Pool, Jacuzzi, dining. A time of fun & frolicking, strings? 8110 DONT RESPOND TO THIS ADI UNLESS, YOU are an irresistible, intelligent and enlightened SPF, 29-40 looking to meet handsome DPM, 39 and share life's finer and simpler pleasures, etc. 8216
~ . i8+,
; j * * ;
NEW TO AREA, INTELLIGENT, SINCERE, SWM, J 25, brown/blue, 5'io", lean athletic build. * * Enjoys nature, traveling, dining out, conversation, film. ISO kind, open-minded, unique • SF with similar interests. Letters also wel* come. 8096 *
A&okinq
™ -
a minute, must be
DOWN-TO-EARTH, 24 YO, COUNTRY GIRL Understanding, honest and caring with an addictive smile and comforting sense of humor. ISO relaxed, clever man for a relief from singularity.8285 ,
SW MOM OF 2 WISHES TO MEET A DOWNI to-earth person who loves children, campI Tng, and the simple quieTways of life. I'm » very sensual, love quiet times, a bit of a « home body, light blonde/blue eyes, 5*5", * full-figured, and serious minded. Call if your » * looking for a serious relationship. 8218 SWF, 5'6", DARK-HAIRED GINGER SEEKS sleek Fred for swing dance event. Must have rhythm. Will have fun. Beginners welcome.854i
# I
NEW TO BURLINGTON. SWPM.31, 6 \ 185, German/Italian descent, attractive. ISO SF to explore Burlington social scene with. I am open to the concept of a potential relationship. 8182
WIWPF, 49, CREATIVE, MUSICAL, POLITICally/ socially conscious, NS/ND, affectionate, humorous, stylish, Zaftig, positive outlook, spiritually centered. Seeks M who enjoys travel, art, conversation and tall, independent women.8531
Jmr healthy, non-abusive relationship may advertise In j ^ F • PERSON TO PERSON, Ad suggestions: age range, interests, V lifestyle, self-description. Abbreviations may be used to Indicate > gender, race, religion and sexual preference. SEVEN OAYS reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submitted for publication only by, and seeking, persons over 18 years of age.
f i . 9 9
f
J t * » '
AN AFFINITY FOR ADVENTURE, POIGNANT * conversation and emphatic living keeps this * tali, blue-eyed, 30-something SWM searching $ for that elusive, athletic, chic, 30-45 SF. ; Come find me.8236 I M, 26, LOOKING FOR, 18-35 YO, HIPPY chick. Interests; hiking, camping, gardening, travel, snowboarding. Must have sense of * humor and likes dogs. 8264
» * * *
I * * I *
QUIET, SENSITIVE, NURTURING SM. 37, holistic physician into yoga, photography, camping/hiking, classical music. ISO younger SF with similar interests/qualities for friendship and possible LTR.8221
| * ; l J
J \ * * *
WANTED: GIRL WHO RIDES 26 YO SWPM, J NS. Seeking SPF, 22 and over, riding partner, * maybe more, who is athletic, smart, caring, j family-oriented, responsible, to drive me * wild. 8459 *
Dear
Lcla,
The ether night I was cut o n a date with
J VTROSE(33T): I'VE GLIMPSED YOU FROM « afar (WP/'Match') and want to know more. * SWM, 40, with dog. Let's walk and talk8256
• « »
It wasn't
j » * * * *
MY SEARCH CONTINUES. SWM, EDUCATED, over 60, active, great physical shape, downhill skier, sailor, hiker, tennis, NS, caring, compassionate, calm, communicative, polite sense of humor. ISO committed relationship, over 48.8475
] J
time things had
j I I » *
SWPM, 36, ND, NS, COMPASSIONATE, « respectful, genuine guy. ISO NS, ND, trustI ing, SF for intriguing conversation, quiet din- * ners, outdoor stuff, and new adventures. « Dance? Call! 8254 *
I I t * I
SOUL MATE ERA. JEWISH SPIRITUAL WOMEN, 27-39, w h ° sing- dance, love children, puppies and walks in love. Musician who seeks the most high wants to look in your eyes and see the love of Zion.8108 , . ,
i » I I ; I
BRONZED ADONIS, ICON OF PHYSICAL « perfection, seeks worthy worshipper. Much t good karma enthusiastically bestowed for " I your singular devotion. Join me for a glass I of nectar? SWM, 3oish, healthy, strong, free. 1 8183 «
: * I * > $
WANTED: F, 30-35, SUPERWOMAN. ABLE TO * make love for hours and hours, uprooting * trees, shrubs and flowers, in cars or mars, " on snow banks or river banks. My job: make * you happy. Women millionaires, trustafarians t and bisexual women please apply.8493 I
physical. » » «
: * I * '
: * I * I
SWPM, 35 YO, ISO SWF, 25-40 YO, STATUS not important, who likes dining, good conversation, acoustic guitar, dancing, etc. I'm open to just about anything. Twice if I like it. 420 friendly, I'm waiting.8491
• • * » *n
* « I *
"I'M GONNA GIVE YA TILL THE MORNIN* comes, till the mornin' comes." Old Neil Young fan seeks F for long talks about love and the end of the world. 8098
• » «
« ; * » *
INTERESTED IN A FULL BODY MASSAGE1 From the tip of your nose to the tip of your toes. SWM, 48, blue/blonde, 5 ' i i " , 215. ISO, SF, 40-55, looking for something special. 8499
J • » » ;
I * « ' I
SWM, HAZEL EYES, 162 LBS 32 YO. ISO SWF, 28-35, for LTR- I like to swim, bike, bowling, cuddling, long walks on the beach, travel & anything in between. ND/NS/NA. 8267
I I I
* I t t *
ME: 5'8", FUNNY, HANDSOME, ROMANTIC, \ in shape. You: 20-35 YO, pretty, in shape, * funny, independent, and uninhibited. Dinner? % I Movie? Drinks? Dancing in Montreal? Other? ; * Drop me a line.8520 ®
Or respond t h e old-fashioned CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.
1 $I.99/min. m u u t be
18+
december 1 9 , 2 0 0 1
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i
YOUTHFUL, 71 YO, ARTIST SEEKING WOMAN I in 5o's to hang out with. Living in Ohio now, » wish to live in Montpelier by next summer. t Please be slender, non-smoking and ere- * ative. I am multi-talented, experienced, and » ready to try again. 8461 » SHY BUT FUNNY SWM, 24, 5 ' u " , 215. Aspiring cartoonist. Interests: Art, music, bicycling, literature, sci-fi, British comedy, long walks. ISO outgoing, attractive SF for good times, possible LTR.8220
first
gotten
the first time Guy tcck
CALIFORNIA DREAMIN*. LOOKING TO TAKE A « trip to the southwest. If you got the time * and can handle some camping, let's talk. I'm * middle aged, 5'9", 155 lbs, and likable. j 8104 *
: t « » SPIRITED, SEXY, SANE, 6 ' i " , 41 YO M IN search of an active, intelligent, independent * woman who is secure in her life. Open: minded, communicative, curious and sensut al, as I am. 8464 "
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dont want a charge on your phone bill? call 1-800-710-8727 and use your credit card. 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be 18+. mm AQ&kinq woman,
coni
1 TALL, HANDSOME GENTLEMAN. SENSITIVE, romantic, adventurous, ambitious, witty, respectful. Enjoy music, food, travel, quiet evenings, snuggling. ISO SF, 20S-30S, attractive, energetic, compassionate, principled, playful, sensual. Let's enjoy quality time. 8109 SWM, 50S. YOU: SWF, 40-60, NS, SECURE, sensitive, caring and fit, 3.5 or more tennis rating sense of humor, home owner, college grad., nurse.8224 FRIENDS FIRST? HAI WHAT ABOUT PASSION and love at first sight? No time for long walks or poetry. Busy DWM, 42, ISO romance, weeknight trysts. 8492 "VENUS AS A B O r . SWPM ISO PETITE, super-cutie, 18-25, to aimlessly follow urges. Mischievous but kind, childlike but not immature, romantic but not clingy. Instant gratification reward for the right chemistry. 8259 A VERY ATTRACTIVE, FIT AND CLEAN SWM, 30s, 5 ' u " . ISO a sexually active lady, 29-69, for a wonderful relationship.8202 TEACHER AND WRITER OF SORTS SEEKING 40+ lass who loves to dance, garden and drink tea amongst snow banks while dogs are lapping.8480 DEAR SANTA: TO FULFILL THE WISH LIST OF an attractive, slender, SWPF, 36-42. Boxed and gift wrapped, SWPM, 5'9", dark, handsome gentleman, only 1 model avail. Includes battery (big heart!) 8494 SWM, 46 AND FIT LIKE FIDDLE, 5*11*. 175 lbs. Not looking for a one night stand, nor a two night stand but for all of the nights you can possibly stand.8535 MY GREATEST DESIRE. DWM, 30'S, SMOKER, good looks/build. ISO petite F 30-45 for friendship, companionship and possible LTR. How's music, dancing, dining, Jacuzzi, massage and intimacy S0und?8230 ATTRACTIVE, YOUNG, ACTIVE, SENSITIVE, early-50's. Want to meet lovely, self-confident, healthy, NS, woman in 40*5 to share love of walking, hiking, biking, traveling, arts, fun and conversation leading to LTR. 8213 30 WORDS AND A MESSAGE, COULD IT catch your interest? Allow us to meet? My treat, no bodyguard necessary. SWPM, 40, fit, healthy, handsome. ISO cute/attractive, sometimes silly SF.8293 BETTER EVERY DAY. ATTRACTIVE, NEAT, SWPM, 5'4", 150 lbs., 52. Passionate about kids, life, love, romance. Adventurous emotionally, financially. ISO S/DF, 35-52. Selfdependent, reasonably fit. Love/LTR. 8094 SWM, 40'S, 6', 185, MUSICIAN WITH DAY job. Seeking F, 35-50, into outdoors, dogs, books, trout, music, friendship, LTR.8281 SWM, 35,170, LT. BROWN HAIR, HAZEL eyes, very good shape. ISO F, 26-36, around 5*5" - 5'8", 105 - 125 lbs., open, honest and financially secure. 8188 DWPM AS COMFORTABLE IN LEATHERS ON a Harley as in suit and tie. Honest, caring, warm, gentle and fit. ISO a lady, 40's - 50's, to share life with, ready to start over. NS/ND.8258 IT'S TIME TO PUT MY SUMMER TOYS AWAY and get ready for some winter fun. Me: 47, handsome and very active. You, 40-52, attractive, intelligent and humorous.8498 2002 COULD BE OUR YEAR. DWM, 40'S, 5'9", 150 lbs., youthful, proportionate, engaging, open-minded, appealing. Likes outdoor activities, travel, laughing, adventure, sunsets, photography, music, dancing and someone special like you.8525
ONE LONELY NIGHT I SAT ALONE HOPING and praying that you would phone. I've called the ads and paid the price a simple call back would be nice.8488 EVERYBODY WANTS SOMETHING. ME: Spirit and vibes come first. Knowledge & wisdom next. Charm, grace, energy follow. I seek fine, figured, internal beauty for mutual sharing of life's meat. 8093
wamon
Aookinq
woman
SINGLE MOM ISO LTR. 36, TALL, SHY, INdependent in central VT off grid. Previously hetero, no luck. Firewood, hay, black tea, big dogs, good beer, novels. Must be good w/kids. 8252 SAPPY SMART-ASS, PBIF, 29, WHO RANGES from baggy overalls to red velvet pants. Seeks kind soul, 25-34, who inspires adventure and snuggling. No smokers or Republicans.8529 BI-CURIOUS 19 YO F SEEKING SIMILARLY aged F to explore and/or learn from. Color unimportant, size reasonable (-250). Red Head if that sparks interest!8453
man
Msddnq
mm
"ON YOUR MARK, GET SET...HEY, THAT'S IT (gimme a date), because I'm gay and an admirer "of that chance!" 8237
JoJth&A 1 * * * I
ATTRACTIVE, 20-SOMETHING SWM SEEKS REAL female hermaphrodite for erotic encounters. No cross dressers or transgenders! Look forward to hearing from you! 8204
J TWO WILD SINGLE MEN ISO FIT, ATTRACTIVE j F for discreet rendevouz. Must be open* minded and into experimentation.8286 * * « I
VERY SEXY AND FORE FILLING 24 YO M seeks 18-45 YO S or MaWF's for daytime fun. I love sweaty sex, showing off, heels and hosiery. No disappointments.8542
| « * *
MOUNTAIN MAN WHO IS SEEKING THE BEST of both worlds. The beautiful hermaphrodite, the sexy transsexuals or the exotic transvestites. I will answer all. 8476
j « » * *
LADIES! EVER FANTASIZE ABOUT BEING tied-up, or tying him up? Rose a Thorn, VT's BDSM social group welcomes you! Nervous? Don't be, we're lead by a woman. Privacy guaranteed. E-mail req.8470
61 YO BIM ISO MALES. 18-35, FOR DISCREET get togethers for hot adult fun as you like it. Evenings, early mornings, in Northern/Central VT. 8095
! CREATIVE COLLEGE CU LOOKING FOR AN I open-minded F to please and pamper. ; Would you like to be spoiled? Give us a call.
HEY BUDDY: HAIRY CHEST, CAMO CLOTHING, tough truck, good-looking, muscular, hardworking-. Straight- maybe Bi-curious, married, bored? Looking for a little hot man-to-man, male bonding for a chang??826i
; : ; ; :
GWM, 43, 5*9", 160 LBS. ISO THAT ROMANtic, masculine man interested in outdoors, movies, music, traveling, home time, someone to share life with. (25-45) LTR?8523
I MaWM, 4 >', Bi-CURIOUS. SEEKS MaCU WITH ; submissi.c Bi-Curious M. Very discreet. 8452
GWM, 29, SEEKING MASCULINE, HAIRYchested, married or bi-curious guys in need of service. Must be avail, mornings. Discretion assured.8226 GREAT DISCREET FUN. GOOD-LOOKING, IN shape, 40 YO SWM, 5'io", 160 lbs., brown/blue. ISO M, D/D-free, 18-40, goodlooking and in shape for hot times. Burlington area. 8105 LETS CELEBRATE LIFE. HANDSOME GWM, slightly overweight. Seeking GM for a sexual, intelligent and spiritual relationship where nature and art reign supreme. You should be a clean cut, sober NS.8234
: 8533
EASY AS UN, DEUX, TROIS. TALL, ATTRACtive and salthy WM, 33, to multiply pleasure wit nd for imaginative CU. I like to have fur jrious, respectful, uninhibited and disci t. 8114
SHF, 32, NOT WANTING TO LIVE ALONE OR settle for convenience. Looking for single mom or dad to join forces and become a team in parenting and daily living. Heterosexual, not closed-minded. 8100 YOUNG 21 YO M LOOKING FOR M OR F FOR erotic encounters. Discretion and safety a must. I am open-minded about anything. 8251
1 Aplj. EVERY TIME I COME IN TO GET MY DOG bite bitter you are there radiating that sweet smile and bootylicious curves. Could you be happy to serve the likes of me. Our brief exchanges have left me thirsty for more. 8454
ethan 5x4.5
D y k e s T o W a t c h O u t f o r
byAlisonBeclidei
n*
^ page
38a
SEVEN DAYS
december 19, 2001
who ranges from baggy overalls to red velvet pants. Seeks kind soul, 25-34, who inspires adventure and snuggling. No smokers or Republicans.
•OjSjorGcaTcxcC^r used • doseout • new 191 Bank St, Burlington 860-0190
and a $25 gift certificate to
8528
I A VERY HANDSOME, FIT & CLEAN SWM, 30s, * 5*11. ISO a mature and sexually active lady, * 29-69, for a wonderful relationship...8i86
SUBMISSIVE 40 YO, 5*7", 145 LBS. LOOK: ATTRACTIVE PWMACU SEEKS TEMPTRESS. ing for multiple, clean, healthy guys to satis« Early 40s, fit, clean, impeccably honest, , fy in l-on-i's and group scenes. Discretion * trustworthy, safe. ISO S/D F for ongoing relaassured. 8284 " tionship. No Bi experience needed, just SUBMISSIVE WM, 39, WANTS TO PLEASEI « desire to experience uninhibited, respectful Any race/color. I like to be told what to do! I pleasure. 8196 8287 j 37 YO HEMP-FRIENDLY, EDUCATED F LOOKSWM, 5'9", 165. NICE, STRAIGHT-ACTING, S' ing for hemp-friendly M/F friend, 30-44, for young-minded 45 YO. ISO young, slender, * quality sessions and maybe some additional easygoing SWM who enjoys cuddling on * fun. I like old cars, country rides and music. cold winter nights. Call soon. Winter's com* Anyone else?8532 ing!8i02 : SUPPORT GROUP FOR BONDAGE, DOMISGM, 21, SEEKING FRIENDSHIP/RELATION> nance, submission in NH's White Mountains. ship with a boy, 21-29. I f you are interesting » Social events, play parties in Hanover, and fun respond to my ad. 8489 Lincoln and other places. Not a quick dating « service, couples and women welcome. 8214 EXPERIENCED AND READY BIWM, LOOKING for 18-35 YO M for hot man-to-man contact. I MWF SEEKING 5-6 MATURE GAY OR BI-CURIf you have a fantasy let me help fulfill it. t ious M for my fantasy. 21-45. Please call, Anything goes.8478 ' lets talk.8235
SENSITIVE, POLITICALLY CORRECT-NOT! This well-educated/read, athletic, attractive, 6', 185 lbs, 36 YO GWM enjoys laughter, lively banter, being rude and crude and a little kinky. ISO M, 20-45, with adventurous spirit and creativity.8485
SAPPY SMART-ASS, PBiF, 29,
Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker's Guide to VT from
Dog Team Rd., Middlebury 388-7651
1 I GIGGLING GODDESS AT BURLINGTON BAY » Market, 11/28, reading I Spies and sex SUP • vey. Would love to laugh with you * anytime/anywhere. Peace, love and great I food.8279 J BABYCAKES: YOU'RE MY FAVORITE, NEVER I forget that. Last night you were dancing in j my dream, you're a goon and I love it. « Dollface. 8290 \ 11/14 GLENN, SWEETIE, I LOVE LYING > around dreaming of our future together. You > make every day just like heaven. I will « always love you. 8210 J MIKE FROM IBM, SAW EACH OTHER A > couple times on the ESSEX JCT bus. Finally > talked and haven't seen you since. Want to < talk some more? -Red. S207 : SUPER CUTE BLOND HAIR BOY WORKING > the ticket booth at the Widespread Panic ' show, I think I have fallen in iove at first I sight. Call me please!8200 ; GAVIN: MY GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT. : Your friendship, caffeine, and North Beach at : 2 a.m. are all I need in life. Thanks for maki n g VT a happy place. Sincerely, your eternal • tormentor. 8471 BEAN, BLUNA AND BONGINI... DRINKING : tea, tangled up, who's where? Done what? Can hardly keep track. Love you like the rain in OR - endlessly. I'll be home soon. ShuShu 8i74 AMELIA AT COSTCO MEMBERSHIP. WANTED to ask you out for coffee but very tricky to do while you're at work. Single? Let's meet; Life's too short. You won't be sorry.8455 HMC, SUNDAY MORNING, FIRST SNOW. You: Long legs, long pony tail, warm eyes. Me: Blue velvet gloves, a little sheepish to be buying bacon. Who are you? I'd like to know. 8536 I SPY A CUTE LIBRA NAMED HEIDI DANCING around town who I would like to get to know better. You know who I am so drop me a line. 8197
'YOU: DARK BLONDE SHOULDER LENGTH * hair, greenish t-shirt w/symbol on front cenl ter. You took care of flowers while co-worker *and myself waited for soup/sandwich. Me: * Short dark blue work coat, hat, jeans, eagles " est. I wanted to say more but you left me ; speechless. Try again if your single?8249 •MY GOD ITS GOOD TO SEE YOU. I LOVE •that nut sauce and your mooches... DRAMA. I Wanna share a grapefruit sometime? If you ; don't want to, we don't have to. 8468 »TO THE PETITE BRUNETTE IN PIGTAILS © I the record store on 10-20-01. Me: tall, •shaved head...we left at the same time. Why »can't I stop thinking about you!? 8219 JI SPY THE WINE GUY. YOU HAVE MY HEART, < please don't break it. Let's go to Ireland in >the spring. You have a Guinness, I'll have a < Bass. I think together we make a pretty »good black and tan.8239 SAT RED SQUARE (WED?). YOU: BLONDE, > flirty. Me: Tabasco and scotch. Wanted to «slip you my number (blush), but "he" 'wouldn't leave. Call me. We'll swap recipes. >8097 j HEY PHILOSOPHICAL BLUES CROONER WHO • howls at the moon. Thanks for cops by the I church, get in the van! Price Chopper park • ing lot, songs, poems, and the alien baby. • Lovemonkey.8225 ; BIG AMERICAN PARTY! EVERYBODY DISCOJ dancin"! Why? Because you're so awesome! I 1 love you DJ!828o I COOTILICIOUSI I'M THE LUCKIEST BOY IN . «the world. Whatever I get for my birthday I can't possibly beat the gift of you that I've I already got. 8266 :YOU: CUTE, HEMP-WEARING CONVEN'ience store guy. Me: Girl with bent card and ; issues with the gas pump. Too shy to say I anything more than "I think I know you from | somewhere." 8189 ; DUBAY, SKY WRITING? IS THIS A GOOD ; start? Long for you when we're apart. Love ; to taste you when we're together. Will you ; sky write for me? 8211
to respond to a personal ad call 1-900-370-7127 ® m • m
m
we're open 24 hours a day! $i.99/minute. must be 18+. i Apif,
conJtinmd
JEN, HERE'S YOUR "I SPY"! HAPPY BIRTHday! Love Lisa, Franny and Danielle. 8117 TO JESSICA-AT-WAITING: THE SEA JUMPS TO touch you, and I am hull down in distant waters, past blue rivers, my words lagan, awaiting your return. Lor. 8271 BEAUTIFUL BLUE-EYED, BRUNETTE WAITRESS at Evergreen Eddies. You served me on Tuesday night, can I serve you for the rest of my life? 8118 ELIZABETH-ANN: MELTING MEMORIES OF A thousand Vermont winters when I'm holding you warm in my arms; I still can't believe how madly in love I am with you. Yours forever, Cute Boy. 8190 BORDERS SECOND FLOOR, SATURDAY 11/17, late afternoon. YOU: Spanish-looking, long dark hair in ponytail, sideburns. ME: sophisticated-tooking black-leather-clad blonde. That guy wasn't my boyfriend.8253 AARON, AARON YOUR SO HOT. SO DAMN hot, I want to grease your greasy robot! Your better then Jesus! Better than Cheese! Would you give me a kiss? Pretty p!ease?8245 I SPY THE BEST IN THE CROWD. I WANT TO scream it real loud! You put my head in a cloud and I'm feelin' pretty proud to love you M.8522
BED, BATH & BEYOND, 11/5 AFTERNOON. Hi again, great smile! Me: Speechless... in jeans, sweater and baltcap. You: Long brown hair, with a desire to get to know me ? 8175
12/8 RED SQUARE: AMY FROM WINOOSKI, I just thought of who you look like. Call me and I'll tell you. Love (whip) Scott Brosius. 8524
WILLYBEAN: YOU BETTER WATCH OUT "cause it's not Santa who is coming to town to go dancing with you!! Love from far away, Lily. 8458
SWEETIE IN CLAY! BLUE EYES WITH BEGging dog. Regret I did not get your number. Want to walk the dogs before brunch?8n6
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12/8, NICE CHICAGO EMS GUY. THANKS FOR helping me with my kicks. How 'bout a drink at the wine bar? Would love to talk to you again. 8539
E.B.: I'M SO VERY GLAD THAT I MET YOU. You've changed my life and stood by my side in troubled times. I hope we can be together for a long time. Ail my love.8232
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JED (HOMER), I'M MELTING DOWN HERE IN the dirty South & I miss you. I can't find your number & I'm tired of calling Jay's Machine. Call me, Marge. 8255
DEN: THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP, LOVE and understanding through the "big break". You are an extraordinary man. I love you! Ren.8257 YOU, CVU HOCKEY COACH, BROWN HAIR and sexy brown eyes, that stops by Mobil, corner of Allen 81 Shelburne Rd. Me: the cashier w/light brown hair/eyes. Are you available/interested? 8457 HEY THERE SAILOR GIRL I SAW YOU AND your western friend at RJ's on Halloween. I love the movie "Slap Shot", its a Newman Classic! Have you seen "Nobody's Foor?8ti9 KRISTEN: YOU SERVED ME W/SUNNY SMILES in your greenhouse 11/2. We seemed to have had a hard time taking our eyes off each other. Too bad my Mom was with me, or I'd have invited you to dinner. I'd tove to gaze at your beauty over dinner soon...sound good? 8187 I SPY YUPPIES IN FRONT OF STARBUCKS... Get a Life! 8466 KAMI: YOU LEFT ME AN UNKNOWN RSVP #. Please try again. Needle and thread, box 8049.8500
• » To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402
woman isskinq
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ADVENTEROUS, WELL-ADJUSTED, SWF, 35 YO, NS, who enjoys outdoor activities on trails less traveled. ISO humorous, outdoorsy, dog-loving, peaceful, SM, 35-45. Box 1080 SWF, PLUS-SIZED, OVER 50, MED. TALL soulful, "unpolished stone" in search of "lapidary". NY/VT. Companionship first, marriage possible. Already married? Don't apply. Box 10 77 SWF, 21, 5'4", ATTRACTIVE, RT AND FUNNY. Loves cooking, fishing, hunting, horseback riding...you get the idea. ISO tall, handsome, fit, SWM, NS. gentlemen only, friendship first. Send picture. Box 1069 FRIENDLY, OUTGOING, 21 YO SWF. I ENJOY hiking, dining out and dancing. ISO NS, 1927 YO SM for possible LTR. friendship first. Box 1068 WDF, 38 NUTS OVER NFL PBR, WWF. CRAZY about SRV. Admires Magnus Samuelson. Loves hiking, fishing and weight lifting. Looking for the guys who enjoy the same. Box 1064 PREVIOUSLY MET: MR. SCAM, MR. MARRIED, Mr. Psycho, Mr. Cheap, Mr. Substance Abuser and Mr. Mommy's Boy. Nice guys, show your faces please! SWF, 50s, not perfect, NY/\h". Nice lady seeks companionship, possible marriage. Boys 1061
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SWF, 42, ISO POSSIBLE LTR W/WM, 40+, who is trusting, has sense of humor, likes simple life 8c kids (mine are grown). Uniform a plus, movies, dancing, baseball. Box 1053
mm
woman
DWM, NS, ND. GREAT PERSONALITY, WELLknown. Seeks SF, 35-50, 1 child OK, who enjoys boating (2 wks in FL winter) attractive, must love family. Box 1086 46 YO, SPIRITUALLY MOTIVATED PHILANthropist; ISO healthy, wealthy and wise woman to share love, life, God. Box 1084. SWM, EARLY 30'S, VERY CUTE, EDUCATED, clean-cut, cynical. ISO attractive/intelligent, older, unmarried woman for naughty encounters, possibly on long-term basis. Box 1083 SWM, 40, 6', 200 LBS., BEARD, FROM NY state mtns. Physically fit and active, hardworking, honest, good sense o f humor, enjoy nature, animals, coffee and food. ISO SF w/similiar qualities for fun/ltr. Box 1082 WINTER IS COMING. I'LL KEEP YOU WARM IF you are a WF, 35-45, who is seeking a younger WM with warm hands and heart. 6', 160 lbs., very romantic, sincere and sexy. Box 1079
HARRINGTON'S IN SHELBURNE SATURDAY 12/1. You had jeans, black shirt and flip flops h o l d i n g s cell phone, having lunch. Me: blond girl wanted to say Hi! Let's meet!8467 I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A REALLY HOT guy at JW-Ry*s. That voice and those eyeshe's divine. And I'm feelin' fine now that Jimmy's all mine.8534 „
* YOU: STEADFAST FIGHTER OF FILENES AND TO MY DEV DEV, I TRULY MISS YOU. MY heart, my mind, haven't been the same with- I Defender of all microchip implantees. US: * Grateful for all the work you have done. out you. I love you. Your married girl! 8212 t Good luck Alexis. 8292 ___ CALENDAR GIRL FROM BOURBON ST. MET : SAW YOU AT PACIFICC RIM IN MID OCT. ME: you Fri. at Finnigan's. I read the paper. You I enjoying a meal by myself. YOU: standing wrote your number on the front page. * w/a friend. Saw you again around 11/8 on Hockey? Karaoke? Drinks? Let's meet again. J CHURCH/CHERRY on your cell. My dog tin8527 » kled near you. Care to go back to PACIFIC TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE * RIM together?82Q9 world. Developing photography and basking in an amazing sunset of baby blue and * YOU: TALL CHILD WITH/ SCRUFFY FACE. maroon. From your man in the moon 8241 I Flower on your water bottle. Smelled * strangely like herbal tea? Your hot and I BANJO PICKIN* BEAUTY, HOTTIE RIPPIN' J want to give birth your love child. Love tele chick. Come be my cowgirl. Let's pick * Ewan. 8244 some tunes and carve some turns.8477 : MY POOR SICK GIRL WITH DEEP BROWN I SPY SPORTS STORE TIFFANY, GIVING ME I eyes. To the worst luck we ever had. It wasthe greatest smile I've ever seen. I come in ; n't bad because I spent it with you. Try just for that! Mr. Bike shorts and snowboard. * Again? How bout next Sunday? 8273 8530 : 2 RADICAL CHEERLEADERS, THE COOLEST CARLA, SAW YOU AT HEIDI'S BIRTHDAY I girls in town. Would love to see next perforparty and couldn't keep my eyes off of you. l mance. From shy, spectacled observer in Can we get together some night? -Will8i8i green trench. Church St. 12/1. 8486
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50+ "KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOR" (TRANSlation: No marrieds, nice, kind men). Here's your, quest: Damsel in distress (read: SWF, tall, fluffy, conglomeration of P.T. Barnum, Kafka, Poor Pitiful Pearl). Companion? LTR? Marriage? Box 1060
MAAAACK IN THE CATACOMBS!! I LOVE YOU gnome-liberating rat on balloon brunettes! Merry Christmas, from your favorite brass playing strawberry blonde. 8517
: A BADGER HAVING FUN WREAKS HAVOC ON I the male population. Ah, to playthings! " Cheers! Casablanca. 8465
SWM, 46, 5*8", GOOD LOOKS, AVERAGE build, affectionate, trust-worthy, NS. Seeks S/DF, slender, cute, 36-46, for walks in the woods to fine wine and dining. Where are you? Box 1071 SEEKING PS, 18-38, FOR SENSUAL MASSAGE and discreet sexual encounters. All races and sizes encouraged to respond. Will answer all. Box 1078 SM, 5*5-, 140 LBS, CLEAN, SAFE AND Discreet. ISO dominant women to punish and humiliate me as their total slave. Will answer all who are interested. Box 1074 SWM, 40, 6', 200 LBS, BEARD, FROM NY state mtns. Physically fit and active, hardworking, honest, good sense of humor. Enjoy nature, animals, coffee, food. ISO SF w/similar qualities for fun, LTR. Box 1071 I AM A ACTIVE SWM, 38, 5*11", 160 LBS., brown hair/eyes. I enjoy just about everything but most of all I would love to enjoy you, an active SWF. Box 1066 DOWN-TO-EARTH, YOUNG (32), SWM, Robert Redford type seeks older F for dinner, massage & romance. Coffee first, dessert later? Discreet, safe, no strings. Photo preferred. Box 1070 SWM, 39, 6'l", 190, ATTRACTIVE, FIT, CLEAN, healthy, happy, NS, ND. ISO S/MaF, slender to full fugure, 32-53, for fun, friendship, fantasies. Central VT. Take a chance. Box 1063 IMPERFECT MALE ISO PERFECT FEMALE: SIZE 8-10, 52-56. Must enjoy architecture, Holbein 81 Hepplewhite, Rodin & Rochmaninoff, sunsets, little kids, dogs & traveling in UK. Decorator or artist a plus. Box 1057
SAVOY SUN. MATINEE. YOU: SHAVED HEAD. Me: almost shaved head. You sat near me during "The Deep End." We also kept passing one another walking. Can we meet?8i77 NICE BOY IN BLACK BUG WITH SEXY RED mohawk, I can't think without your chin! Wish I could see you more I get lonely here at school. Miss you. 8469 INDIE ROCK GAL W/CURLY HAIR: WE HAVE some mutual friends, a common interest in oatmeal cookies, but I can never manage to introduce myself. Perhaps we could go bowling?8223 TEXACO HOTTIE! I THINK YOUR NAME IS Ben. I left a note once before, but you never called. Please give me a call so we can talk. 8184 NURSE AT MCHV NOV. 29: ATTRACTIVE blonde, you let me into the JME area and then weighed yourself on the scale. Is your relationship status the same as mine? Meet? 8473
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VT TEDDY BEAR NEEDS HIS HONEY. WOULD love to wine and dine you, and cuddle too. Walks on the beach under the moon. Is my honey out there? Send pictures. Box 1056
BIM WITH HOT LIPS ISO MEN WHO WOULD enjoy them. Slim build. Won't stop until told to. Answer all who send detailed letter of what they want. Box 1062
SWM, 40, LONELY, WANTS CORRESPONdence. Northeast Kingdom native, 5*9", 160, med. build, brn. hair/eyes. Loves biking, hiking, outdoors. Eves in front of the fireplace, long walks on the beach. Box 1052
MATURE GWM SEEKS COMPATIBLE BUDDY. Winter hikes, cross-country skiing, conversation, day trips, dinners in/out. Requirements: Neat, trim, sense of humor, education. Burlington area a plus. Box 1058 HONEST, CARING, SINCERE, GWM, 65, 5*8", 145, enjoys bingo, walks and country music. ISO honest, caring GWM, 45-65. Friendship first and maybe more later. Box 1054
GWF, 42, PISCES, FIT, WORKER, HANDYwoman, passionate, clown, smoker. ISO good-humored, good-hearted, old soul w/young heart, 35-45ish. Box 1081 WOMAN, 40, SEEKING THOUGHTFUL WOMAN, 35-45, willing and able to do the work (and play!) of being in a relationship, should be reasonably (not fanatically) fit, enjoy hiking and other outdoor stuff. Box 1065
ISO BEAUTIFUL SEDUCTIVE WOMAN FOR hire. I want to give my wife a seductive massage as a holiday gift from her husband. Will pay prevailing massage rate. Box 1072. AVERAGE PWCU, LATE 40'S. ISO CLEAN, NS, NA, ND CU for discrete adult weekend fun. VT/NY, Lake Champlain area. Box 1070
FIRST TIME, 42 YO BIM, WANTS SLENDER (under 160 lbs.) D-D-A-S free BiM for intimate playmate. Can host. All answered with detailed letter including: name, address and phone #. Box 1073
HOT, ATTRACTIVE SWM, 5 ' " " . 170, ATHLETic. ISO fit, attractive CUs, 30S-40S, for discreet liaisons. Send letter w/photo to receive same. Or advertise in "Letters" section, and I will respond. Box 1059
GWM, 5*10", 185 LBS., 49 YO. LOOKING FOR a GM, 20-40 yo to help pass the long, cold winter nights. I am caring, generous and lonely. Looking for a friend and maybe more. Box 1067.
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VT HIGGINS LOOK ALIKE GWM, YOUNG 6o'S, 5'9", 150 lbs. I like walks, bingo, country music. Seeking friends 50+ w/similar interests. Need time to warm up. Box 1063
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SF, HETEROSEXUAL SEEKS SWEET, SOMEtimes silly feminist, gay-friendly, intelligent, inquisitive liberals. SF or SM, NS, ND, 18-30. My wheelchair shouldn't matter. Box 1076
4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402. LOVE
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Let me help you end the yea? kitji a great new car in 66
like to think of Pontiacs as luxury cars in disguise. They're loaded with features like leather, sunroofs, and OnStarÂŽ navigation. At the same time, they've got sports car styling and race car performance. "Despite all the bells and whistles, Pontiacs are sensibly priced. And we've sharpened our pencils for the holidays to shave even more ; off the prices. "There's yet another bonus if you're looking to lease: no deposits or taxes due at signing. "If you have any questions, stop by. My door is always open."
GeneraHfaanager
02 Bonneville SUE
Black 4-doorV6 automatic with OnStarf leather, sunroof, spoiler, traction control, universal garage door opener, dual-zone climate control, power driver's seat. Stock #202062.Was $31,155.
Best Price: $28,131
including rebate
Or lease for fS ^ a month for 'Lease based on a purchase price of $29,151. Security deposit waived. Amount due at inception 5 ' j ^ W w W 4g mondis* $390. VT tax, title, registration and acquisition fees included. 12,000 miles a year, extra miles Y v charged at 20<t a mile. GMAC Smartlease with approved credit. Offer expires 12/27/01.
'02 Bonneville SSEJ
'02 Grand Prix GTP
'02 Grand Prix SE
'02 Grand Am GT
'02 Grand Am SB
Bron2e Mist Metallic 4-doorV6 automatic with OnStarf leather, heated driver's seat, sunroof, spoiler, traction control, Bose* premium stereo, CD. Stock #202037.
Tropic Teal Metallic 4-doorV6 automatic with spoiler, traction control, CD, power driver's seat, front power outlet, aluminum wheels. Stock #202072. Was $22,135,
Black 4-door V6 automatic with leather, traction control, sunroof, spoiler, CD, power drivers seat, aluminum wheels. Stock #202034. Was $22,780. .
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Best Price:
Best Price:
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$19,701
Best Price: $15,887
tX-liC
including rebate Or lease for a moaoi for
I : rebate Or lease for $382in
including rebate Or lease for
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Granite Metallic 4-door V6 automatic with supercharged engine, OnStar, leather, traaion control, spoiler; universal garage door : opetw^C&Sbck #202191. , ; Was$33,655. V ' -I
Best Price: $30,692 including rebate Or lease . ^ ^ ^
sZOyttoMdii*
iM mtttfif* flease based on a purchase price of trtle,
at inception $268. VT lax, on and acquisition fees
Amount d w at i
)$ a mile. GMAC Smartlease i crodit. Offer expires 12/27/01.
at 20$ a mile
20<t a mite. GMAC Sm approved credit. Offer
_
Across from the Olive Garden Open Mon-Fri 8-7, Sat 8-5
658-1212 or 1-800-545-8907 1030 Shelburne Road, So. Burlington. Email: shearer2@adelphia.net All vehicles subject to prior sale. Prices do not include tax, title and registration unless otherwise noted. Documentary fees optional. Offer does not apply to previously quoted deals and expires 12/27/01. Please remember - always wear your seat belt!