Seven Days, December 22, 1997 by Seven Days

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE Me

memories of their alleged cult

Week icia Burgus, of Lombard, Illinois,

Nose Knows Canadians worried about bad breath can pay $150 {$110 U.S.) to have their mouth odor The

Dishing the Din: Eating dirt may be good for you, according to Susan Aufreiter of the University of

Mexico, and accused of roaming the intensive care unit of Presbyterian Hospital with intent to steal patients' food off warming carts.

What a Country mouth with a syringe and uses g * chromatography ro check

Nutrition, the researchers reported using a technique

for sulfur compounds diat cause halitosis. To confirm the finding, an oral biologist ' " j n g in breath or gives a subevaluation. '* ; to the the patient a privacy sits screen and exhales into a •

tube. T h e breath e v a l u a S j _ from sniffs the b r e j | | the tube and a s s e s s e j | vinced her that she had partici• • T h e University | pated in cannibalism, ritual ^ murder and Satan worship, that announced it needs more speshe had been sexually abused cialists to help it establish an by numerous men, and that she "odor emissions rating system" had abused her two sons. None to regulate the state's 35,000 of the incidents happened. animal feedlots. T h e three-year, $390,000 program to develop Something jcr Nothing objective standards on types • • After making headlines for I and intensities of odors already p i n n i n g two tickets and an allemploys 35 people to sniff and

called Instrumental Neutron Activation Analysis to get a precise chemical breakdown of three soil samples. T h e first sample, which had been used as "famine food" in China, contained iron, calcium, vanadium, magnesium, manganese and potassium — minerals that would be in short supply during famine. T h e second sample was soft clay from North Carolina, which was touted as good for general health. It contained iron and iodine — both important for children and women of childbearing age. T h e third sample, collected in Zimbabwe as a cure for upset stomach, was found to contain Kaolinite, the main ingredient in Kaopca.uc;.

expenses-paid trip to the World Series, John Andrew Gregg, 51, of Davie, Florida, was arrested by undercover agents for trying to scalp the two tickets.

ChOW Down Anthony Valencia, 20, and Fitzgerald Vandever, 20, were arrested in Albuquerque, New

siWi •

^QV^ believing they had been in a satanic cult so they could bilk the patients' insurance companies of millions of dollars. According to federal prosecutors, the defendants, who worked at Spring Shadows Glen psychiatric hospital in Houston, told a number of patients from 1991 to 1993 that they had multiple personality disorder caused by their participation in a satanic cult. They told the patients they did not remember being in the cult because they had mentally blocked it out, then brainwashed them into recalling false

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W h e n police in Doncaster, England, arrested Martin Kamara, 43, for threatening a Financial adviser, they wanted to put him in a lineup to get a positive identification, but they couldn't find any other black men who would appear in the lineup with him. So they hired a makeup artist to blacken the faces of seven white men. T h e incident, plus the fact that the artist forgot to make up the white men's hands, prompted a judge to order Kamara's release on the grounds of police impropriety. ®

FIGHTING COLDS HOMEOPATHICALLY In homeopathy, minimal amounts of an herb or mineral are prepared in a dilute solution that is taken to stimulate the body's natural defenses. Selection criteria for single-ingredient remedies depend on characteristics of the individual and take into account emotional as well as physiological factors. Following are several of the most common single remedies for colds and flu. M a n y of these are commonly used as ingredients in combination remedies. (Note: only those conditions related to cold and flu are listed; m a n y of these remedies also are used to treat a variety of other illnesses.)

Source: The Family Quide to Homeopathy, Dr. Berry Rose, Celestial Arts, Berkeley, California, 1993

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categorize the nearly 200 chemical components of cow and pig manure.

Fernando Velasquez, a native of El Salvador, was arrested in Parsippany, New Jersey, on charges of practicing dentistry on hundreds of people, even though he had neither a license nor a college degree. "He always wanted to be a dentist, he told ine," Detective Frank Baran said. "He also said he liked the money."

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r DEAN'S MEMORY LAPSE With all of the heavy national media burdens which Governor Howard Dean, M.D. has chosen to bear, it is not surprising that he had a short-term memory lapse when it came to remembering precisely what transpired between him and Vice President Al Gore in the Vice Presidents office on December 3. But it now appears as if his memory problems have become more longterm. Last week, the Governor told a Seven Days reporter [Peter Freyne, Inside Track, December 19] that he did not serve as a delegate to the Democratic National Convention in 1976 which nominated ex-Georgia ^Governor Jimmy Carter. However, the Governor appears to have told another story to the compilers of Marie M. Mullaney's Biographical Directory of American Governors, 1988-1994.

In that 1994

book, on the pages describing Governor Dean, it states that: "A Democrat, Dean first became interested in politics while working for Jimmy Carters presidential campaign. He was a delegate to the Democratic National Convention in 1976" (p. 379). And where did this information come from? According to the editors of this volume, the source was "Biographical information courtesy of governors office" (p. 381). — Garrison Nelson Boston, Massachusetts

BUY THE BUY Interesting that Kevin Kelley encourages us to consume less ["Green Christmas," December 17], while the merchants advertising in, and supporting, your paper want — and need — quite the opposite. While I admittedly share with Kelley the belief that our lives would be simpler and probably more satisfying if we bought less stuff, and spent more time with friends and family than we spend shopping, would this mean the fragile thing we call our economy, our way of life, our very civilization, would fall to its knees? Is there a sane way out of the increasing spiral of consumerism and indebtedness without causing our favorite stores to go out of business, watching with pain in the heart as downtowns shrivel up and die in the shadow of "big-box" stores? If anyone has any ideas, I'd love to hear them. How about a "readers' forum" in Seven Days to discuss this most critical issue in our community? — A.J. Simms Burlington

CREATIVE PROCESS Sometime in the late '80s a painting by Cynthia Price of two outbuildings appeared on the cover of Vermont Public Radio's magazine and it mesmerized me. A year or two later this memory intertwined with my obsession with the patterns found in paintings on the theme of the Annunciation to inspire the design of a house in Hinesburg that I am still very proud of. Since then I have paid close attention to every one of her images that I have had the fortune to come across, and I have striven to interpolate the feelings they give me into my own work: a sense of a landscape shaped by human hands over many, many years; the power of solid, void, edge and the spaces in between; the deep emotions when one observes the result of weather and time; almost a documentary, and yet quivering with mystery, dreams and surprise. The Japanese have a term, utsuroi, one of whose many indeterminate meanings could be called the moment when the shadow of spirit emerged from the void, which to me describes her work. I enjoyed Pamela Polston's review ("Living off the Land," December 17) of Cynthia's show at the Clarke Galleries because it didn't just speak about the work. Instead it looked at the broader context of how an artist goes about creating work and how it changes over time. I think the struggle to create is as interesting as the work itself and I hope to see more reviews addressing this issue in depth in the future. — Michael Wisniewski Hinesburg BARING BEARS Kudos to John Dillon and Seven Days for the expose on the Vermont Teddy Bear Company ("Bear Market?" December 10). What a story! It looks like Teddy Bear founder John Sortino got out when the going was good. It's just the kind of inside stuff I like to find in your weekly. — D. Stone Burlington NICE TRAVEL WRITING Thanks to Peter Freyne, the recent spate of stories in the mainstream Vermont press about Governor Howard Dean's presidential ambitions comes as no surprise to us political junkies who gobble up Inside Track each week. Why did it take so long for the local daily and others to become concerned about where Vermont's governor spends his time? Asleep at the switch? — J. Hall Colchester Letters Policy: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 250 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in Seven Days. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, R0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. fax: 865-1015 e-mail: sevenday@togefher.net Photographers, want to show off your stuff? Contribute a portfolio shot to "Exposure." Send it to the address above or call for more info.

FICTION: OY, HOLY NIGHT By Andrew Jacoby

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FICTION: THE CHRISTMAS CAR By A b i g a i l

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A CHANUKAH TALE By Judy

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GREAT EXPECTATIONS An essay on the years best books By Howard Frank

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Mosher

POETRY: IT'S CHRISTMAS, CAROL By D a n i e l

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OUTDOORS: A TREE FOR PEANUTS Old-fashioned fir means a walk in the woods By David Healy

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CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly ART DIRECTORS Samantha Hunt, James Lockridge PRODUCTION MANAGER Samantha Hunt PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Charity Clark WWW GUYjamesLockridge CIRCULATION MANAGER/CLASSIFIEDS/PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Michelle Brown, Eve Jarosinski, Nancy Payne, Rick Woods CALENDAR WRITER Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Marialisa Calta, Erik Esckilsen, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Tom Paine, Bryan Pfeiffer, Ron Powers, Gail Rosenberg, Amy Rubin, Barry Snyder, Molly Stevens, Sarah Van Arsdale, Margy Levine Young, Jordan Young PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Sarah Ryan

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Dear Cecil, , ', </ One hundred years ago, on September 21, 1897, a little girl with great doubts asked the editor o/The New York Sun for the answer to a question that had been bothering her. There was no Straight Dope then, so she had to,setdk an came up with an answer, a good answer, the correct answer. But folks haveforgotten it, or no longer believe it. The man who answered her question was just a staff writer who got the assignment from his boss. He wasn't the World's Smartest Human, like you are. He didn't command the respect that you do. So, I hope'youwon't mind settling this question once and for all, far all the little Annies, Ryans, Joshes, Megans and Tammys in the world. If I may paraphrase: I am 42 years old. Some of my friends on the Straight Dope Message Board say there is no Santa Ctaus. JKFabian says, "If you see it in the Straight Dope it's so, *Please tell me the truth. Is there a Santa Clans? — Ranger J e f f , The Idol of American Youth Lets just say his existence can't be definitely ruled out. /'I'm not saying-there arent improbable aspects to the story. You have x number of kids (even leaving out the Muslims, Shintoists, Hindus, animists, etc., who must get shafted, giftwise), you havej* time per visit, you have £ average distance between domiciles, you have an Earth of known diameter, and you have 24 hours in the day. It doesn't add up. : You have the problem of access to the gift-giving venue in the absence of chimneys with fireplaces, unless were assum- > ing that Santa Claus oozes through the keyholes in the manner of the n-t

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of toy manufacturing facilities in a polar region that's remote from resources of every type (cold excepted), that's so carefully camouflaged as to be invisible to satellite surveillance, and that produces no detectable emissions. Although now that one thinks about it, there's that ozone hole over the south pole. Hmm. On the other hand, consider the following: (1) A great many seemingly improbable events do in fact occur. Florida winning the World Series. Cleveland winning the World Series. Compared to this, what is the accurate delivery of zillions of packages in the course of a single night? (2) Besides, Fed Ex docs it. So what if we're talking Memphis and drivers in baseball caps rather than the north pole and elves? Its the principle of the thing. (3) OK, so there's a certain amount of mortal participation involved. Perhaps, as a parent, youve personally done your bit to help Santa and thought you did so of your own accord. The ants in the anthill probably think they're doing it on a whim, too. But looking at the matter objectively, we can't deny that a larger purpose is at work, that we are in the service of an agency greater than ourselves. (4) You mean the IRS. (5) I mean the impulse to be generous. Three-hundred-sixty-four days out of the year humankind commits all manner of heinous acts. On the 365th day we give toys to the kids. I'm not saying that the latter compensates for the former.- I'm not saying Adolph Hitler wouldn't

no credit will devolve upon ourselves is sufficiently at odds with our rrtntmo U.olv.v-1 ,!/-»«• t\e tr\ irwuirvfw^ a mtrcr^f-tr mA xsjr* m<»v dC (6) Besides, to believe in Santa Claus is to believe in magic. The belief in magic in many respects is a pernicious thing. Because of it youve got countless multitudes thinking that aliens abduct people, that Elvis and, that certain cl. through their doubt in the main it

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•MEMORY QUIZ 1 They came from across northern Vermont, |and for 10 weeks last spring they sat silently | and took notes during the extravaganza that is | known as the biggest drug trial in Vermont hisJ tory. Just regular people. An electrician, a nurse, ® a stock clerk at Ames, an IBMer, a UVM 1 administrator. And six months after the verdict | they returned to the courtroom | last Thursday, one-by-one, to be quizzed by Judge William K. Sessions III. S The issue was what John Baker, a juror from Essex | Junction, had told them, and I there were many versions. The name of Bobby Baker, John's younger brother, came up dur| ing the third week of trial when | a government witness identified | him as a drug customer of Billy f Greer's. Inside Track learned ^ about that from Baker three S weeks after the verdict. Baker | also indicated he had told other | jurors about it. I Following that June 18th " column, the defense hired an I investigator to interview two | other jurors, who said Baker had | told them at the outset of the 1 trial he'd received phone calls "asking him to go easy on the S defendants." The jurors also told 1 the investigator Baker had said | he was "surprised he could have |stayed on the jury." « Five jurors told Sessions they'd heard from ® Juror Baker about his brother the drug dealer. S One said she heard it as they sat in the jury box j during a break for a bench conference. "I didn't | know it was true," she said, "until I read an : article in Seven Days." 1 Another juror said he heard it in the jury 8 room before deliberations began. Yet another | heard Baker bring it up during a lunchtime | walk along Elmwood Avenue. | Juror Jacqueline Jones said Baker not only told her his brother Bobby was involved with ® Greer, but also informed her "he had discussed I it with the judge and the judge had told him I he'd cross that bridge when he got to it." I But Judge Sessions made it clear Thursday I that no such conversation ever took place. ® Baker had come to him before the jury draw Iwhen potential jurors were offered the opportu| nity of raising scheduling conflicts. The judge | had the transcript of that conversation in front I of him, and it did not jibe with John Baker's 1 version of reality. i When Jones heard Sessions' denial, she 1 replied, "I feel bad. One of us should have I come forward." No kidding. That's the whole problem here, folks. Not one of the jurors did come forward. When Baker himself entered the courtroom I to be questioned, he did so with bravado. Asked j if he'd read Inside Track, he noted he had a copy j in his shirt pocket. He said it contained "many | inaccuracies," but was unable to specify even ^one. He appeared combative and jumped from ; tangent to tangent as Sessions tried to hone in | on what Baker had told his colleagues. He only | conceded confirming his relationship to Bobby | Baker to one other juror — though five had testified they'd heard about it from him directly. It i was a strained interrogation, and Baker kept I using the word "qualified," in the sense of validating someone or something. And as he debat| ed Sessions over the contents of their conversa| tion, he told the judge, "I qualified you." Sessions let out a gasp and replied, "Actually, i1 thought I was appointed by the President of

the United States with the consent of the Senate." It slid right over Baker's head. He couldn't recall why he hadn't filled out his juror questionnaire accurately by omitting his brother's criminal record, and he was upset at yours truly for not reporting his self-serving remarks about how "the defense couldn't have had a better jury or judge." "Now because of some sensationalism," he said, "I'm accused of being part of a conspiracy." In fact, John Baker hasn't been accused of anything. He said he didn't speak up when his brother's name was mentioned in testimony because he felt it would not affect his ren- 8 dering an impartial verdict. 1 Chances are, folks, that's not | going to cut it. g As for the stories other jurors heard about Baker get» ting a phone call, he said he did 1 get a call from an old friend who was now in real estate. He said the caller had learned Baker would be on the Greer jury (how remains a mystery, since the Greer panel hadn't been chosen yet), and wanted g him to be "a sympathetic ear on i the jury." Baker said he got the ® impression the caller was offer- i ing a bribe. "There isn't enough | money in the world for what you're suggesting," Baker said he told the caller. Unfortunately for the prosecution, Baker didn't tell the judge about the phone call, either. Nor did he speak up to Sessions about other phone calls his fellow jurors said Baker told them he'd received. One was purportedly from someone wanting to write a book about the case. Had Baker and his fellow jurors been brought g back for a second round of questioning, it's likely » there would have been even more versions of what went on with that jury. The five defense 1 attorneys left the courthouse feeling pretty confi- J dent they'll prevail on their motion for a new trial. That call won't be made by Sessions until late January or February. Stay tuned. P.S. In chambers, Acting U.S. Attorney David Kirby made a last-minute pitch to the j judge to have yours truly banned from the g courtroom during the interrogation of jurors, in g hopes Inside Track would be called to answer ® questions about the Baker interview. Judge Sessions, citing the First Amendment, told him f to take a hike. Hear! Hear! g Environmental Alert — Government sources g tell Inside Track there's an environmental disas- * ter plaguing Vermont that makes acid rain look I like a toothache. It's all very "hush-hush," we're | told, but the fact is dozens of lives are lost every g year in Vermont to the scourge of dihydrous oxide precipitant. The deadly airborne chemical * causes an increased incidence of heart attack trauma and fatalities, usually attributed to acci- I dental causes on mountains, highways, driveways and walkways. You guessed it — dihyg drous oxide precipitant is a scientific name for snow! Be careful out there. I Media Notes — Every year around this time § Vermont ETV producer Joe Merone ships a copy of the tape of "Vermont This Week" off to g C-Span. It's the program that counts down Vermont's Top 10 stories of the year, and will 1 air locally on Vermont ETV this coming Friday jf and Sunday. This year, Merone didn't have to j call C-Span. C-Span called him. That's because g the folks at C-Span know "Howard Dean for President" will most certainly be one of the top I stories. What C-Span doesn't know yet is that Ho-Ho's White House dreams came in seventh. Hey, i icy, there's incics always aiways next iicxi year. year, (7) {/j

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Jacobv

runk and stoned on circumstantial indifference and that Puffy Comb-like ineptitude that comes with age, I needed a story idea. T h e n it came to me: "Jewboy does the Christmas Thang: Memoirs of a Wannabe Gentile." Yes! It had all the hauntings of that varicose recklessness so painfully absent in my past articulations. I would breach the unbreachable! Cross that picket sense of no tomorrow, that doppleganger of infertility that has been denied my kin: I would experience Christmas morning. It's not that I really wanted to see past the ribbons and satin, the Barbie Dolls and monster trucklets. No. I had developed a sort of affable stand-offishness to the whole nonsense. I was not going to let the browbeating pulse of Christmas this or Christmas that coerce me to drop my firmly indoctrinated sense of assimilated Jewish behind. M o m m a put a stop to that a long time ago: "Andrew! over my dead body will we deck these halls with a goddamned thing!" She went as far as to remove even the slightest hint of evergreen from our backyard. Her buzzsaw was like our ethnic version of a Christmas bell. W i t h her words ringing in my ear halls like the last calling, I made my commitment. Breach I must, if just to see what all the fuss was about. Besides, I had dyed my hair yellow and eaten almost a whole tub of mayonnaise. "Research!" I screamed. I must know. I had chosen the suitable locality — suburban (and therefore complacent), rich (I wanted the good stuff), and sleeping (I was a bad burglar). Problem number one was how to enter. Authenticity! I had read all the books. T h e chimney! H o w else to infiltrate? I vaulted the electric fence and scurried to the prefab siding,

licked it three times for luck, then elevated myself to my Christmas orifice of choice. Luckily, some big fat guy with a red suit whom I recognized from the mall was already there with a bunch of piglets

FICTION

tied to a Skidoo. "There's cookies down there, my man; I love to count them cookies!" "Shut up and move on!" I had a bit of personal lubricant on my person which

proved quite handy for the chimney job, and soon the fat guy and me was in the living room, greased like two monkeys. H e got off with a stereo and a pair of Spice Girls tickets. I had to arm-wrestle him for the lions share of the presents. "Man, what will the kids do when they wake up?" "Liberal!" he shouted as he escaped through the doggie door. N o w I had to wait, and wait I did. Almost three hours 'til sunrise. By the time the kids got up I was so drunk on eggnog I thought they were my own. Luckily, they didn't seem to mind. Little Johnny was frothing at the mouth, and they had to put a muzzle on baby E m m a so that she wouldn't suck the presents like she did last Christmas. An hour past, I took pictures with my mind and told Continued

on page 12

d ecembe c*

py A b i g a i l

Stone

consiimeti guide figures written on the back of an envelope. "He's going to fill in the holes," ^ Y m not sure the new I boyfriend is working out," Donna says, her voice sorrowful. "He was exhausted and not X I say, putting the receiver to my other ear. "I told him the thinking. I married a workaholic." cids wanted to get to know She sighs into the phone iim better this weekend and he and I can hear her baby in the said, why?' Doesn't that sound background. "Give it a little ike he isn't interestmore time," she tells ed in the whole me, meaning give package?" Bradley more time to I am cutting a FICTION think things over. "But sheet of wrapping in the meantime, find japer as I speak, out what you can about him. and folding it around a small Maybe he's making alimony Christmas present I bought payments and that's why he jack in the spring when I had can't afford to take you out for money. Donna wants to know dinner." again if I am sure he isn't We hang up, the present secretly married. "No, he doesgets put away in a drawer with n't even know how to give a the three other meager presents, back rub," I say confidently. and I stand by the window and "Believe me, he isn't married. stare out at my hideous 1983 Anyway, I have stayed at his Toyota Tercel with the battered louse lots of weekends, I've rear end. gone to where he works. No, I think he just wants to have a is early evening and I am chick to be with, I don't think il e . . . » sure I have missed the call from the car dealer. All But as I'm telling this to 1 fr week I've been talking with Donna, I remember that I'm three car dealers. They all sell xpecting a call from the Car the Mazda I want. Before I dealer. "I have to get off the called any of them I looked ine," I tell her. The car dealer into the actual cost of the car s calling me with some figures on the Internet, the dealer's n a Mazda I am trying to buy. invoice, the non-negotiable deshaven't had a car in three tination charges, the luxury months. "Does anything ever package price. I knew exactly mother you about Herman?" I what car I wanted and exactly ask Donna before hanging up. how much I was willing to pay 'I mean, like little irritating over the dealer's final cost. . things *t~ not socks on the But the dealloor." ers did not want "We had a big ( T love this r ^ n / to know all that. ight last night," They wanted to onna says. I t o l d n j children, chat. Especially 'Herman drilled Rod Beeky from nto the only piece Harpy Cars in f furniture we Shaftsburg. Rod ever bought. All U J o r e n e . T t a j were wanted to know ur stuff is from my name and is mother and my mother and address before I n j I ' t t l e tin s o l riends — all but even could tell he bunkbeds. The diers, M d l n j ^p him why I called. mnkbeds are "Lemme tell you >eautiful, pale a secret," Rod U v e i j ynder the lardwood. We said, once he got jought them my age and illusions o j t U r ogether, customweight out of nade from a me, "A lot of car craftsman. And desperate s i n j dealers want to German drilled rip you off, it's loles in them last true. I ought to potior. light." know. But we don't. Not here at Harpy's. I finish wrapping the preent and tuck it back into the Now, let me get this >aper bag carefully so the bow straight...first, how much are won't get wrinkled. "What do you willing to pay a month? rou mean, drilled?" I ask. Assuming you want to finance "I asked him to hang a — right?" amp by the top bunk, but the "I want a 1998 Mazda ||cord hung down into the lower Protege LX automatic with air unk, so I bought casing to run conditioning," I repeated. along the wall, for the cord to "Have you tried the 626 un through — white casing to yet? But let's back up just a match the white walls — and I minute here. How much are asked Herman to install it. And you able to pay monthly?" Rod ie put the white casing down tapped a pen against the receivthe side of the bunkbed, not on er the whole time he talked, the wall, on the bunkbed. With and after three conversations, I screws, drilled into the wood. told him I was going with We fought all night." another company. "Can I ask you who?"he asked, quietly on I am sympathizing at the the other end of the phone. "I same time as I'm checking the

I-

december

22 , • 1 9 9 7-

don't care; it's nothing to me. I just hate to see you get cheated, is all. You're going to get there and they're going to tell you they made a mistake and you're going to end up paying twice what you thought you were saving. I'm just trying to help you out, is all." "Thank you," I said. "I appreciate all your kindness. But everything is final. I got the loan, I got a promise on the phone from Lucky..." "Lucky! Oh, Lucky is the one you're buying from? Oh, boy! Ohhhhh, boy! You better hold off here. Do you know what you're getting into?" Although I resented Rod Beeky for his oily flattery and his endless lying, I had to admit he was right about Lucky. WTien I got to the dealership, Lucky reneged on the trade-in and got hostile when I said I was short two hundred because of it. "Look, lady," Lucky snarled. That was when my boyfriend Bradley was up here visiting and he had come with me to the car place. I had my loan, my money, everything was all set, and then Lucky started acting funny and kept saying, "Ohhhh, come pmnnn!* Don't tell me you don't have a couple hundred more bucks!" And I got a weird feeling standing there amongst all the shiny cars in a shabby showroom looking at Lucky sneer. Then I looked at Bradley and he was smirking in Lucky's direction. He rolled his eyes at Lucky, as if to say I was such an embarrassment. My heart went into my knees. I got so sad seeing that. I knew that Bradley would not stay my boyfriend very long when I saw that. I knew I would not like him much longer. Never take your new boyfriend car shopping with you. It's way too much stress. Chet from Riders Vehicles was cool. They were located halfway across the state, but when I called they were polite, and when I told them what I wanted they said fine, and when I told them what I would pay they said, sorry, no, and we politely hung up. But then they politely called back and agreed, if I would take the car on their lot, which I politely said I wouldn't, but then I thought about it, and called back and said OK, because, after all, what does it matter if one is driving in a yucky brown car or a zippy teenager green one?

he day is never long enough. When the children have left for junior high,

S E V M DAYS

and the dog has been fed and taken out, and the dishes have been done and my mother has called to see if I am depressed or not, it is nearly one in the afternoon. I am strangely unexcited as I dress to meet Chet. Heiias agr|4d to drive all the"way to my house and transport me to my new Mazd^. All I need do is wait for him, dressed to buy a vehicle, holding my checkbook, my driver's license, my loan papers and a pen to sign the agreements. He pulls up in a 626 and opens the passenger door for me. He is not greasy and goodlooking like Lucky, nor horrible and menacing like Rod Beeky. He looks like a football player squeezed into a compact car, with a handsome, cheery face. I know I am making the right decision. "Yahoo," I say without conviction, closing the door firmly. "I'm ready!" It is an hour-and-a-half drive to Riders Vehicles, and while he buzzes us through one small New England town after another, I count in my head how many people already have their Christmas trees. "Do you have your Christmas tree yet?" I ask Chet, hoping he will say no, to assuage my anxiety. "Oh, yes," Chet says, looking over at me. "Yes, we got it last weekend. There were a lot of people out last weekend getting their trees, too. By the end of the day, the pickings were already looking slim. Yes, we got a nice medium-sized tree. We had a big day picking out the tree, and then getting home and setting it up." I smile, beaming from ear to ear, but I am sad inside because Bradley wouldn't get a tree,

after all, with us. I had asked him before he came up, on the phone: "Bradley, can we get a tree this weekend? A family outing? Can we get the tree? There's a place near us where you can cut them..." "How much?" Bradley said. His voice is deep and sexy. He is probably the sexiest man I have ever known, and half of it is his voice. "Ohh," I whispered, feeling warm. "How far?" "No. How much I don't have a lot of money right now." "I didn't mean you had to pay for it," I answered. "I just wanted to go with you. You know, cut it together. The kids would like that. They want to get to know you. And that's when he had said, "Why?"

up, the wife usually does the decorating, but my 1 stepson had to go somewhere and we have the new puppy on a schedule," Chet was saying. "So she walked the dog three miles while I decorated the tree with my daughter. She's seven. You could give her a five-dollar doll and she'd play with it all day. But my stepson, well, that's a different story. He's 15. WHiat do you get a 15year-old? He's got just about everything." Chet shakes his head in wonder at the thought of what one might buy a 15-year-old, and then turns up the heat slightly in the 626 as we roll through the valley and out onto the Interstate. "I grew up 10 miles from Riders Vehicles, lived there all Continued

on page 14 page

The Hottest Nite Club

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ho! W I Z N is playing the Chin Ho! cut, "Home," from Magic Hat's Feast of Fools holiday compilation C D . If the sister station won't do it, the Big Brother will... • Of all the New Year's Eve gigs — besides, of course, Madison Square Garden with you-know-who, Smokin' Grass got a sweet one: New York City's Wetlands. And guess what? Strangefolk and Gordon Stone will be right upstairs. • A wrong date was published in last week's announcement about 24 hours of local music videos on Adelphia Cable, produced by Karen McGregor and hosted by Andrew Smith. But since it said New Year's Eve, those of you who finished high school probably figured out it was a typo.

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T h e show is, in fact, December 31, not 21, starting at 9:30. My apologies to anyone who sat up Monday night in vain. • Former Shelburne jazz guitarist George Petit defected to NYC some months ago — maybe the Desired Effect wasn't. This Saturday Petit returns to his old stomping grounds, Halvorson's, with Chris Peterman and Mark Dodge. Welcome back... • Rik Palieri's affiliation with the anti-sweatshop crusade has landed some interesting gigs: Imagine a children's choir and a "Labor Chorus." Streets teeming with people who don't like the idea of children working 16-hour days, singing Woody Guthrie songs. T h e towering, lighted tree at Rockefeller Center. Stacks up pretty well against an average night in the coffee house, doesn't it? ®

Got something to tell Rhythm & News? Call Pamela at (802) 864.5684. Or mail your tip to P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402, or e-mail to sevenday@together.net.

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MONDAY

BL00Z0T0MY (jump blues; Christmas party), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. METRO LOUNGE (lounge DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. TECHNO NIGHT (DJs), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4. ALLEY CAT JAM W/0X0N0ISE (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. COFFEEHOUSE (acoustic), Horn of the Moon, Montpelier, 8 p.m. NC,

TUESDAY

OPEN STAGE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $2-5. PAUL ASBELL & CLYDE STATS (jazz, blues), Leunig's, 8:30 p.m. NC. DJ NIGHT, Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. CHAD (groove-pop), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK: HITS OF THE '80S (DJ), Club Toast, 10 p.m. NC/$5 under 21. CRAIG MITCHELL & LITTLE MARTIN (acid/soul DJs), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P. s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. JALAPENO BROS, (rock), Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. JIMMY T & THE COBRAS (rock; Christmas party), Swanys, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. ALANHARDCASTLE (piano), Gallaghers, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. NC. RICK COLE (acoustic), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m. NC.

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WEDNESDAY

MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Gallaghers, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. NC.

SEVEN D A Y S

THURSDAY

MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. 0. JARVIS (orig. acoustic), J.P.s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DANCE PARTY (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 8:30 p.m. NC.

FRIDAY

PICTURE THIS (jazz), Windjammer, 5 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. NC, followed by DJ NIGHT, 9 p.m. NC. AERIUS (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $5. DYSFUKKSHUN, CHIN HO!, LAST ONES STANDING, SPILL, JOSHE HENRY, CRANIAL PERCH, D. JARVIS BAND (altrock; Good Citizen CD release party), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $5. TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCIPLES (alt-soul) Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $4. SETH YACOVONE (blues), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. DIFFERENT SIDE OF THE MOON (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. RUSS& CO. (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Franny O's, 9:30 p.m. NC. DANCE PARTY (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. HIGHLAND WEAVERS (Irish), Tuckaways, Sheraton Hotel, 8:30 p.m. NC. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. DANCIN' DEAN (country dance & instruction), Cobbweb, Milton, 7:30 p.m. $5. DIAMOND JIM JAZZ BAND W/LAR DUGGAN & LEE HILL, Diamond Jim's Grille, St. Albans, 8 p.m. NC. MIRAGE (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $3. THE CLIQUE (dance), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 8 p.m. $5. MIKE DEVER & LAUSANNE

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ALLEN (acoustic), Three Mountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 6 p.m. NC. GEEVERS JINKIE5 (classic rock), Gallaghers, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3. SANDRA WRIGHT (blues), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $4. ROCKIN' DADDYS (rock), Charlie-os, Montpelier, 10 p.m. NC. CRACKED HEAD (rock), Swany's, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. JOHNNY DEVIL BAND (classic rock), Rude Dog Tavern, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC.

SATURDAY

GEORGE PETIT, CHRIS PETERHAN, MARK DODGE (jazz), Halvorson's, 9 p.m. NC. MONKEYS WITH CAR KEYS (rock duo), Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. NC. SATURNALIA PARTY (surprises), Rhombus Gallery, 8 p.m. $2-5. ARTFUL DODGER (rbck),Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. LITRE MARTIN (Djj, 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. DJ NIGHT, Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. MOTEL BROWN, VIBROSOUL (rock-reggae), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $4/6. RETRONOME (DJ Craig Mitchell), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. THE VIBROKINGS (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 10 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. NC. COMEDY ZONE (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $7. KARAOKE, Franny O's, 9:30 p.m. NC. ADAMS & EVE (rock), Patches Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. BOB GESSER (j azz guitar), Tuckaways, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. FULL CIRCLE (rock), Trackside Tavern, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. SHANE BRODY & FRIENDS, NICK DENOIA, All clubs in Burlington NC = No cover. Also look for "Sound Advice" at

(acoustic), Greatful Bread Deli, Essex, noon. Donations. DANCE PARTY (DJ Norm Blanchard), Cheers, 9 p.m. NC. YANKEE POT ROAST (rock), Swany's, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. JOHNNY DEVIL BAND (classic rock), Rude Dog Tavern, Vergennes, 9 p.m. NC. MIRAGE (rock), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 9 p.m. $3. THE CLIQUE (dance), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 8 p.m. $5. EAST COAST MUSCLE (blues; CD release party), Cafe Banditos, Jeffersonville, 9:30 p.m. $3. (SIC) (alternafunk), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $4. ALLEY CATS (rock), Gallagher's, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m. $3. BROTHERHOOD (rock), Charlie-os, Montpelier, 9 p.m. NC.

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SUNDAY

n a i t ; N C . FAMILY NIGHT (Dead stuff), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. BUCK & THE BLACKCATS (rockabilly), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. THE WARDS, SCOUNDRELS, BLINDED BY RAGE, CHAINSAWS & CHILDREN (punk, technocore), Club Toast, 9 p.m. $5. TNT (karaoke & DJ), Thirsty Turtle, Waterbury, 8 p.m. NC. NC. DAVID KAMM (acoustic), LaBrioche Cafe, Montpelier, 11 a.m. NC. GRANT ORENSTEIN (acoustic), Main Street Bar & Grill, Montpelier, 11 a.m. NC. THE CLIQUE (dance), Rusty Nail, Stowe, 8 p.m. $5. MOONLIGHT (acoustic rock), Gallagher's, 9 p.m. NC. GRIPPO-SKLAR JAZZ SEXTET, Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9 p.m. $4. unless otherwise

noted.

http://www.bigheavyworld.com/burlington.music/

f E A X T or

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N O W AVAILABLE

it s a «wugc-poage

Graet p a c k a g i n g . . . m a f c e 5

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s h o u l d ! say semi-democ-

Ori»m:t{ R»uk f l u n k From

Bmlui<>f<us, VtsnmiU n o reggae, no ly in the alt-groove usual suspects: Zola

ded"), Lindy Pear ( ' T h e New Super Hero"), Aaron Flinn ("Time to Get Out"), Spill ("Throw Me Away") . and D. Jarvis Band

("Paper Train") on this outing — for vocals, Continued on page 10.

December

2 2,

1997

SEVEN DAYS

TH£ w

-^o,

( J

# ^

^ ^

ou< 9;S r STORE. H O U R S mon-thurs 10-6:00 fri 10-7:00 sat 10-6:00 sun 12-5:00 Call for tour s c h e d u l e 6 5 8 - B R E W 5 Bartlett Bay R o a d S o u t h B u r l i n g t o n Cln t h e o l d G r o s s m a n ' s b u i l d i n g )

page

Good Citizen na Cranial Perch The P a r t y to the DEKaDysPunkShun Soundtrack HQ Chin Ho! to t h e Zine Volume T h r e e bbs Spill siD. Jarvis Band eeb Last Ones Standing aaaJoshe Henry

musicianship and/or the strength of the songs themselves. Kudos, too, to the rhythm & brass in (sic) — though I'm not crazy about this particular song ("Really Big Fires), it's the most buttshakin by far. Somah turns in a strong medium-tempo groovefest, too. There's a happy preponderance of melody-oriented bands on G.C Vol 3, so it's a bit of a jar when screammeisters like Drowningman kick in, but I guess that's the price of "cultural diversity." Stop moping about what you didn't get for Christmas and join the party this Friday at Toast for the C D release. Milk and cookies are promised.

WHERE DOES THE TRUTH GO? ww^ed,a» LARA & GREG N O B L E ,

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mean a great deal to my parents. My parents, however, upon seeing the snowstorm that morning, let Craig t is a Sunday afternoon in midknow that we didn't have to go to the December. We are driving west, party if he felt uncomfortable with the toward Brooklyn, on the Long Island driving. He didn't have to drive in such Expressway, my husband, my parents conditions on their account. Really. In and I, and there is a snow storm in progress, quite a bad one. The snow is fact, now that they thought about it, coming down in thick streaks, rendering they would prefer not going to the the landscape into no more than a dark party. Unless, of course, he felt totally, 100 percent comfortable with the driblur beyond the white. The road has ving... not been plowed for awhile, and so we are jolted and shimmied along, Craig, raised by parents who actually unnerved by the sudden ruts and said what they meant, has learned, with bumps, yet reassured by them as well, some coaching from me, to delve by their palpable evidence that the road beneath my parents' words and take a is, at least, beneath us. Ahead, it is stab at their actual meaning. And so, something to be taken on faith. after allowing my parents their say, he No one, in other insisted that he wanted to words, would be out drive in the blizzard, that After 60-odd on a day like today, he would like nothing years of so no one but a better than to drive in the meshuggeneh. You blizzard, and that he intricate a would have to be out would, in fact, be g a m e of preof your mind. extremely disappointed, not to mention hurt, if And maybe we tense that no he didn't get to drive in are. Maybe that's one, really, the blizzard. He then listexactly what we are, ed the virtues of the meshuggenehs for knew the Subaru in blizzard condiwhat we are doing. rules, she will tions — front-wheel Vlaybe even without four wheel drive. the blizzard we would break them all. drive, "Well," they said with a meshuggenehs, driving to Brooklyn for S h e will intro- relief that gave good evidence his translation was my mother's family's duce her fami- correct, "if it has fourChanukah party. wheel drive..." Vlaybe we should ly to her turn around. My father sits in the daughter's h u s - passenger seat next to Yet we have come, Craig, hunched forward, Craig and I, all the band, her s o n peering out the windway from Vermont to in-law, a nonshield, giving a nearly go to the party with nonstop flow of direcmy parents so that Jew, a goy. tions. Craig nods to Craig can meet this whatever my father says. Craig is a rock side of my family. We were married in of calm. I, on the other han<i» am a September, but because the wedding mess of emotion, sitting in the back coincided with the Jewish new year and with my mother, trying not to look at was not kosher, these relatives were not able to come. So I thought we would go her hands. They are gripped into the seat, each finger in as deep as it can go. to the annual Chanukah party, which I myself had not attended for at least a I have never liked my mother's dozen years, to let my mother's family hands. Gnarled with the same arthritis enow that their blessings meant a great that eventually took over her mother's deal to us. And this, I knew, would entire body, they are tense-looking even

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december

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1997

in their most relaxed state. Now, they are gripped in a fierceness unusual even for her, revealing a fear I know has nothing to do with the blizzard.

y mother was raised as an orthodox Jew. Hers was an upbringing of strict laws and ritual, of intense family ties; a world from which one did not stray. And all four of my mother's siblings stayed within that world into their adulthood and raised their children in it. My mother was the only one to break away. "Break away," however, is a misleading term. More, it was like the pulling apart of taffy; always, no matter how hard she pulled, threads remained. Each sever she attempted — not to observe the Sabbath, not to marry an observant Jew, not to keep a kosher home — was done with its effects on her parents, on her mother in particular, deeply felt and mourned. My mother remained connected, always. Most of the time, however, those threads were invisible to me, and my mother seemed very comfortable raising us the way she did, speaking openly of her atheism, of the sanctity of life on earth, of the hypocrisies of organized religion. It was when we celebrated holidays, Chanukah and Passover, that the connecting threads showed. While the rest of us viewed the holidays more as cultural events than anything else, my mother seemed to do otherwise. She grew distant from us, turning into someone I didn't know. Lighting the menorah or leading the seder, she would recite Hebrew prayers, not in the phoContinued

on page 20

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or our image of Santa was actually created by the Coca-Cola company to sell us bubbly sugar water. See?" She ran to the fridge and pulled out a can. "So it is," said her mother. "Very good, dear." "No more!" scream-d the father, his face wet with rage. The mother b e g j f buckets and weight utlCOiiuwuuuy between her two feet. "Christmas is about little plastic mangers and overstuffed malls!" He was panting like an overused fritzing toaster. ' I t s about little spoiled brats conning their parents into giving them whatever their little hearts desire. Like stupid, scary books to wet their beds with, or tickets to some god-forsaken teenie weenie band! That's what you can write in your And while the father was fuming with misdirected

Adult Thursday Night

n a n p

Goosepimple Trilogy and Emma was wondering where her Spice Girls tickets had disappeared to. Unfortunately, I was the prime suspect. "I'm just here to learn about your customs!" 1 cried. "Look, I'm Jewish." I began to unbuckle my pants. "That's quite alright, boy. Where is our stereo?" "Santa stole it." "Santa doesn't steal, he gives." "Then where is your stereo?" Befuddled, all sat silently, attempting to fathom the sheer absurdity of the proceedings. "1 have an idea," I said. "What?" "Why dont you tell me about Christmas. Then I can write about it and eat next

SEVEN BAYS

ass not there wh came down that kids had joined hands.' were singing, soft and beautiful. Mommas tears began again, slowly. Daddy and I stood motionless in the multicolored Christmas lights. First red, then green, then red again. (?)

decembe r

? ? .

grimmest common with traditional Green Mountain storytelling at its er and namesake, D A A Iff best. | Frank Trapp. As a DUUKj The year of boy, I learned from the literary sensamy mother that my tion that's also a grandfather had been a teacher, huge commercial success also a farmer, a caring father and seems to have been an excephusband and, from the time of tional year for first novels in ! his own boyhood, an indefatigeneral. Besides Cold gable reader. "Just get me a Mountain* I've read half a book," Frank Trapp always told dozen that struck me as outmy grandmother when she standing. While you're browsasked what he wanted for ing through the "New Fiction" I Christmas; and she I did. Though the Trapps never had a great deal of « money, my grandmother bought him whole matched sets of Shakespeare, Milton, Emerson, Dickens, Twain, Stevenson. In time I inherited many of my grandfathers books, which to this day are my most prized possessions. Reading them has been one of the abiding pleasures of my life, as well f e c t i o n o f X o u r I o c a l bookstore, . i Inolf for rnr a a striking crriL-inrr blue-andlook as my main connection with yellow book jacket with a cover that fine man, who died a few photograph of a girl's hand ' years before I was born. tucked companionably in the Like my Grandfather back pocket of a guy's jeans. Trapp, I believe that there's no You've just hit paydirt: gift in the world to equal the Michelle Hunevens brand-new : right book. Thirty years ago

was never fortunate enough to know my maternal grandfa-

An essay on the year's

I my wife gave me a set of Boswells of Johnson, very possibly the best present I've ever received. The Christmas ! my dad gave me Robert j Traver's Trout Madness, I gave | him Norman Macleans A River Runs Through It. On Christmas morning, our living room still looks more like a reading room j of the local library. So what titles are on my ! shopping list for the 1997 holiI day season? Well, for the first time I can remember, my top favorites in the fiction and non-fiction categories both j happen to be number-one bestsellers. Amazing but true. In the case of Charles Frazier's I Civil War-era first novel, Cold Mountain (Adantic) —- assuming I can find a friend who hasn't already read it — there really is something for everyone. To Vermonters, living at ! the northern extremity of the j same mountain chain where Frazier s book takes place, Cold j Mountain seems to have a special significance. One gift I down. While Frazier's literary novel has been blowing away f all the competition from the light-weight titles that usually KM^im A i C..' _ t it I wondrous memoir of growing ° up dirt-poor in Ireland, has 1 • to -at or near the

December

2 2,

1997

Like my Grandfather Trapp, I believe that there's no gift in the world to equal the right book. novel

> R o u n d Rock > * beautifulIv written and wnn/Wfiilltr t»i»

~ a rural California alcohol treatment facility fondly referred to by its residents as

dozen or so memorable characters I like best. In one of several remarkable love scenes, Huneven writes, "Nothing else felt as real, as astonishing or gratifying as another human being." More than any other novel I've encountered in a long time, Round Rock made this Vermont reader feel gratified to be a human being — and that's the highest recommendation I can imagine for a holiday season book. Vermont readers will be particularly interested in John Derbyshire's first novel, Seeing Calvin Cooltdge in a Dream, just out in paper from St. Martins. Derbyshire s shrewd and beautiful ChineseAmerican heroine, Ding, and her intellectual husband, Chai, visit the Coolidge homestead in Plymouth and conclude that our 30th president came from peasant stock, "still living from the land, snowbound in winter, [with] homemade implements, earth privies, minimal education and doctoring...at very much the same level as the Chairman's family." I laughed so hard at the irony that I dropped the book. If Round Rock is ultimately a novel about love, Seeing Calvin Coolidge is ultimately a novel about marriage. How Ding schemes to set hers and Chai's on exactly the right track makes this deliciously funny and warm-hearted novel exactly the right present for any couple from the Massachusetts state line to the Northeast Kingdom. Other debut fiction of special interest to Green Mountain bibliophiles includes Castle Freeman's fine and timely Judgment Hill (U. Press of New England), whose ruthless selfmade hero, Garrett Benteen, will stop at nothing to preserve his vision of an unspoiled Vermont; Dalia Paganis Mercy JWd^Delacorte), a brilliant, Faulknerian account of love, madness and survival in one of Vermont's last undeveloped enclaves; and Joan Connors earthy and magical first story collection, Here on Old Route 7 (U. of Missouri), set off in the hills between Rutland and Manchester. Just what keeps attracting so many of our best young storytellers to Vermont is hard for me to pinpoint — Freeman, Pagani and Connor are all intimately in touch with their offthe-beaten-track countryside and the individualists trying to hang in there. But 1997 was a banner year for veteran Vermont novelists as well.

SEVEN DAYS

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we pass a lighted house and barn across the field from the Interstate. I can see our house all decorated in my mind, with a tree in the living room cov-

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tree is decorated in the same lights, with an angel at the top, blinking, "I love Christmas," I say. We pull into Riders Vehicles

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appointed by the brown Mazda . . . , , , r lined up next to hundreds ot other Mazdas. There are black ones and green ones and other brown ones, but none of them are automatics with air conditioning. " C D player comes with it," I had said on the phone, after checking the Internet again. "That's correct. C D player is standard equipment for the LX," Chet had said. He wasn't trying to trick me. It wasn't like when I had test-driven the Mazda with Lucky and he said, "The C D player is in this one, but that's only a couple hundred extra. We can remove it if you want." And I had said, "No, it comes with the LX model." And he had said, "Well, let me check with my m a n a g e r . . A n d when we finished the test drive he returned to the showroom smiling and saying, "Boy, we just go all out for you! Manager's throwing in the C D player!" And Bradley bass pedal for his d r u m set and had been there, and it seems he my oldest daughter wants to go was still rolling his eyes and to London." We laugh togethwinking at Lucky, who was not er, two parents dissing their containing his exasperation at kids in secret — not really, but 1 i nmy; ingratitude. sort of,-saying who d o t h e y "Can't we go cut a tree think we are, anyway? < 1 today? Please?" I had begged "I tell my stepson, 'I hope Bradley that next morning, you grow up and get married when I woke up beside him, so and have a boy just like you, in love. And he held me in his then you'll know.' Try and get big arms and covered me careit into his head that its not easy being the breadwinner. If I fully with the quilt where I was uncovered, and said, "Do you tell him enough times maybe have to bring your own saw? he'll remember." O r do they supply one?" Chet swings off the high-

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But the day stretched on, and Bradley did not want to go. And the kids found friends to go off with, and instead, I sat on the couch, almost in his Continued

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not showering after gym class,

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not stunned by the flashlight shining

P m wishing I'd sprung for the antique amethyst

into the backseat of my first Chevy,

she saw on our vacation last summer.

Stores dose in an hour: I've got it narrowed down

If it's vivid with a azy name it must be Hard Candy!

not dropping my shorts for the lady M . D . Frora'tbeWine cellar of my mind comes will I feel more naked

than shopping on Christmas Eve

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I wonder if you'd like this handmade broom.

for your gift, darling. T h e nice girl behind the counter looks at me From shopping center to jeweler to lingerie

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You bet the average age of

my brain n u m b with panic and the tinny tinkle

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of microchip jingles. I am a squirrel caught in mid-crossing in front of a snowplow.

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Maybe a garbage can trolley, a nice snowblower,

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looks great on her.

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W h a t am I doing in hardware? It's soft, she ^ays, extending it, and when T h e lace-trimmed union suit I got her last) was sexy, but the one time she wore it to cr<

•

I reach with a shaky hand, she adds,

•

' and we gift wrap. ®

country ski, she had to completely undress to pee.

rLOVING P r n ^ J ^ ^YOUR ^ ^ ^ J ^CANCER y ^ J J l J , ^ by Shirley Knapp. This 30-minute audio tape takes you on an inner journey into self-healing of cancer through love. You'll be

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still a menorah-ty in Yankee Vermont, and Chanukah can't hold a candle to Christmas for holy hype. But the annual "Festival of Light" is full of songs, games, food, rituals — and it lasts eight days, not one. Get the history lesson, and the challah, at a potluck party with klezmer music. Tuesday, December 23. Unitarian-Universalist Meetinghouse, Middlebury; 7 p.m. Free. Info, 388-/523.

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Special five course gourmet dinner. Two deatingj. Our festive seating included party favors, mudic and dancing in the Red Barn with the Jenni Johnson Band. * Call for Reservations *

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SPEOAUiQUD^nVtENLI:

"It is in giving that we receive." St. Francis of Assisi got that much right. But the Italian monk never made it as far as Chittenden County Correctional Center on Christmas Day. Volunteers with the Vermont Holiday Project make the rounds to hospitals, nursing homes and institutions in the spirit of another saint: Nick. Thursday, December 25. Meet at Burgess Hall, UVM, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Register, 8653065.

NO STRANGER:

The tune T i l Take Manhattan" crops up in the new one-man show by Rusty DeWees, but the hulking actor who specializes in redneck characters is pure Vermont. "My Trip:to New York and Ether Things" is; based oh his real "cultural" adventures in the big city. Despite the "family" appeal, DeWees gives the show a rating of "SC" — for "some cussin." Friday, December 26 through Monday, >< December 30. Stowe Town Hall Theater, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 229-1528.

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MESSIAH SING: Bring a score if you have one. Celebrated regional vocalists "handel" the hard parts. Stowe Community Church, 7:30 p.m. $5. Info, 253-7321. TRILLIUM SINGERS: A cappella arrangements of traditional carols and spirituals are featured at the Vermont Meeting House, West Salisbury, 7:30 p.m. Donations to the United Way. Info, 388-3856. OPEN REHEARSAL: Women compare notes at a harmonious rehearsal of the Champlain Echoes. S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6703.

drama

'GIFT OF THE MAGI': Vermont Stage Company performs this enchanting musi-

cal about two people who sell their most prized possessions to buy gifts for each other. Royall Tyler Theater, UVM, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $16. Info, 656-2094.

film

'FANNY A N D ALEXANDER': Family is the dominant theme in this festive movie by Ingmar Bergman. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $2-6. Info, 652-1103.

kids

NATURE CRAFTS: Folks over six make small holiday gifts using materials from nature. North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 2-4 p.m. $5. Register, 229-6206. 'MAKE A STUFFED ANIMAL': Make a bean bag animal using felt or fabric for a pet your parents will never complain about. Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 1-2:30 p.m. for ages five to seven. 3-4:30 p.m. for ages eight to 12.

$4.50. Register, 878-8687. 'WIND IN THE WILLOWS': Nortk Stage recreates the Wild Wood with Mole, Badger, Rat and Toad. Catch tk Christmas action at the Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 7 p.m. $14/16. Reservations, 295-5432.

etc GLASSBLOWING DEMO: Checks the formal demonstrations, food, drini and a sale on firsts and seconds. Chun1 & Maple Glass Studio, Burlington, 9 a.m. - 9 p.m. Free. Info", 863-3880. 'BATS O U T OF THE BELFRY': * good look at a nocturnal flying mam at the Vermont Institute of Natural Science, Woodstock, 7:30 p.m. $5.' 457-2779. BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPOR GROUPS: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in 6:30-8 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. > the Shelter Committee facilitates a i ing in Washington County, 1-2:30 P' Free. Info, 479-9310.

1-89, Exit 16 • Colchester, VT • Next Door to the Hampton Inn

page 16

SEVEN DAYS

decembe r 2 2,

1 9 9 7.

T A L K I N ' B A L K A N : Harmony is not something associated with the former Yugoslavia, but the people of Bulgaria, Bosnia, Croatia and Serbia have been making beautiful music together for centuries. Get a Balkan grip on a rich choral tradition through a series of music and dance workshops hosted by the teenage troupe Village Harmony. Friday, December 26 through Sunday, December 28. Montpelier, 7 p.m. $8-75. Info, 426-3210.

^comes^

Burling

Open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner — oWw a week! And in the evening... Stop in before or after your night on the town foi

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H 0 0 0 0 A R E Y O U ? They are birds of prey on nature's night shift — also known as "flying mousetraps." Hooo else but the owl could be the subject of a lecture concerned with avian hunting prowess and the nocturnal pursuit of happiness. It's a chance to get a good look at the hooked claws, outsized ears and ^ reversible toes in the light of, well, fluorescents. Saturday, December 27. Vermont Institute of Natural Science, Woodstock, 7:30 p.m. $4. Info, 457-2779B O W S H O W : Violinist Todd Reynolds is "plugged in" to the music world. He performed with Bobby McFerrin on "Great Performances," and recorillSfiM tilWtegularly with Steve Reich. Zeta Music Systems is bringing him to Vermont, for a hands-on> clinic .1

.-»

* r» 1 i»« :Jllllllr

that is not just fiddling around. Monday, December 29. Vermont Violins, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-4503. P.R.

ibank.' tor all the i/rt»/v of support.

RADIO VERMONT WDEV AM 550, WDEV FM 96.1, WLVB 94 FM, WCVT 101.7 FM

presents... Vermont's Own

Rusty DeWees in a one man performance

"MY TRIP TO NEW YORK" "and 'ether things" - a Vermont logger's cultural adventure -

FRIDAY, DEC. 26-30 8 P.M. STOWE TOWN HALL THEATRE Poignant Humorous. Heartwarming rated SC... "some cussin $10 TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE DOOR AND AT: WDEY, W L\ B, WCVT. GOUR-MUTT SHOP. STOWE

THE LINCOLN INN WILL BE CLOSED FOR CHRISTMAS DECEMBER 25TH

december 22-29 rEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get nformation, supplies, screening and keatment for sexually related problems. Planned Parenthood, Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy testing is free. Info, P63-6326. EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: People vith emotional problems meet at the TBrien Center, S. Burlington, 7:30 p.m. )onations. Info, 660-9036.

TUESDAY

tirst Night of Channukah

drama 'GIFT OF THE MAGI': See December | [ 2 , 2 & 7:30 p.m.

words IPRITERS' GROUP: Writers work with

December. 22,

1997

words at 173 N. Prospect St., Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 865-9257.

'WIND IN THE WILLOWS': See December 22. SANTA: Your snapshot with Santa supports programming at the King Street Youth Center. Burlington Square Mall, 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. $6. Info, 862-6736. 'CREATE A CREATURE CARD': Make a large greeting card for someone you love. Envelope instruction is part of the package. Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 1-2:30 p.m. for ages five to seven. 3-4:30 p.m. for ages eight to 12. $4.50. Register, 878-8687. STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

GLASSBLOWING DEMO: See December 22.

BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUP: The Shelter Committee facilitates a meeting in Barre, 10:30 a.m. noon. Free. Info, 479-9310. CHANUKAH PARTY: Celebrate the Jewish Festival of Lights with traditional holiday songs, games, food and a telling of the Chanukah story. See "to do" list, this issue. Unitarian-Universalist Meetinghouse, Middlebury, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7523.

EST. 1914 K

WEDNESDAY

WITH US

SPEND

Lincoln Inn 4 Park Street, Essex Junction • 878-3309

SANTA See December 23. PARENTS ANONYMOUS: See December 22. STORIES: Children listen, snack and c o n t i n u e d on next page

SEVEN DAYS

page

ijPMgP! .HU.4-. make crafts at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537. STORY TIME: Kids get an earful at Chassman & Bern Booksellers, Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 862-4332.

sport 'HEARTY SOLES' WALK: Join a weekly mile-long walk for fun and fitness that leaves from the Community Health Center, Burlington, noon. Free. Info, 864-6309.

etc GLASSBLOWING DEMO: See December 22. BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUPS: See December 23, 1-2:30 p.m. Also, Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m. Info, 658-1996. COMMUNITY MEAL: Mary's of Baldwin Creek cooks up a traditional ham and turkey dinner. Home-delivered meals are available for shut-ins. Bristol Elementary School, noon. Free to Addison County residents. Info, 453-2432. BLOOD DRIVE: The gift of life is its own reward. But festive foods and "special surprises" give extra incentive today. Burlington Blood Center, 8 a.m. - 4 p.m. "Donations." Info, 658-6400.

cultural adventure." Rated S.C., for "some cussin'." See "to do" list, this issue. Stowe Town Hall Theater, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 229-1528.

dance BALKAN MUSIC & DANCE WEEKEND: Learn chest-voice singing technique and moves from Macedonia to Bulgaria. See "to do" list, this issue. Unitarian Church, Montpelier, 7 p.m. $8. Info, 426-3210. FREE SPIRIT DANCE: Movers and shakers take advantage of an evening of unstructured dance and community. Chace Mill, Burlington, 8 p.m. $5. Info, 863-9828.

kids 'WIND IN THE WILLOWS': See December 22, 2 & 8 p.m. 'UNDER THE SEA': Make a miniature aquarium to take home as part of an educational exploration of marine life. Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 1-2:30 p.m. for ages five to seven, 3-4:30 p.m. for ages eight to 12. $4.50. Register, 878-8687. STORY HOUR: Toddlers listen to stories at the Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

Day

etc 'THE HOLIDAY PROJECT': Join with others to visit the less fortunate in nursing homes, hospitals and correctional facilities. See "to do" list, this issue. Meet at Burgess Hall, UVM, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Register, 865-3065.

'HOLIDAY IN VIENNA': William Metcalfe leads the Vermont Mozart Festival Orchestra in a whirlwind musical tour of Vienna. Waltzing works by Strauss will be performed. Sugarbush Resort, Warren, 7:30 p.m. $20. Info,

cafeG bistro BREAKFAST SERVED UNTIL3PM Eggs Benedict ^ Belgian Waffles • Omelets Fresh Fruit Granola - Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice AVAILABLE FOR PRIVATE PARTIES

36 main stmt - winooski • 655.9081 FRI. 1 2 / 2 6 - THURS. 1 / 1 5 6:30 &. 8:40 2 PM MATINEES 12/26 - 1/4 ALSO I/IO& l / l l

BALKAN MUSIC & DANCE WEEKEND: See December 26. Workshops on singing, basic dance and dance band run 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. at Bethany Church. $52. A dance party with music by Bez Veza starts at 7 p.m. at the Unitarian Church. $8. BALLROOM DANCE: A slow waltz lesson is followed by a ballroom free for all. Holiday Inn Express, S. Burlington, 8 p.m. $10. Info, 860-2207. CONTRA DANCE: Rachel Nevitt calls for Atlantic Crossing at a gathering of the Otter Creek contras. Middlebury Municipal Gym, 8 p.m. $6. Info, 388-0438.

Parenting f o r the What:

90'S

Three 4-week groups for parents of children 0-18 years.

Where:

The Creamery, 2117 Shelburne Road, Shelburne.

When:

Mondays: Infancy and Early Childhood, 0-5 Years Old beginning January 12,1998 (Noon-1:15 p.m.) Wednesdays: Middle Childhood, 612 Years Old beginning January 14, 1998 (6-7:30 p.m.) Thursdays: Teens, 13-18 Years Old beginning January 15,1998 (6-7:30 p.m.)

For Info:

985-3315

Teresa C. Meyer, Ph. D. JanieA. EdwartteOtr, UCSW THE S A V O Y THEATER

the CREAMERY

26 Main S t Montpelier 229-0509

Can (802)-985-3315

V-

etc 'OWLS OF VERMONT': Slides, discussion and live owls illustrate the adaptations that make these night birds "flying mousetraps." See "to do" list, this issue. Vermont Institute of Natural Science, Woodstock, 7:30 p.m. $4. Info, 457-2779. 'SATURNALIA': Rhombus Gallery raises spirits — and money — with an planetary party. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $1-5. Info, 652-1103.

film 'THE TIN DRUM': A young boy refuses to grow up in this German film by Volkar Schlondorff. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 7 p.m. $2-6. Info, 652-1103.

drama dance BALKAN MUSIC & DANCE WEEKEND: See December 26. Workshops, performances and dancing run from 12:30-6 p.m. at Bethany Church. $23.

film

kids 'WIND IN THE WILLOWS': See December 22, 2 & 8 p.m. 'SCIENCE MAGIC': Explore the world of magnetism in "Floating on Air," and sail a magic carpet with Tom "Tech" Keck. Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington, 1 p.m. $1/2. Info, 864-1848. 'PAW PRINTS': Make a guide to common animal tracks using real examples from nature. Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 1-2:30 p.m. for ages five to seven. 3-4:30 p.m. for ages eight to 12. $4.50. Register, 878-8687. TALES: Children over three listen at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

instruments. Teachers, students and performers will have a chance to play. See "to do" list, this issue. Vermont Violins, Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-4503. OPEN REHEARSAL: Women compare notes at a harmonious rehearsal of the Champlain Echoes. S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-6703.

film 'TORCH SONG TRILOGY1: The Gay and Lesbian Literature and Film Club hosts this touching tribute to the life and loves of a downtown drag queen. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 7:30 p.m. $2-6. Info, 652-1103.*

kids

SUNDAY

'MY TRIP TO NEW YORK . . ' See December 26.

'PATRIOT'S HEART': Maine-raised author Stobie Peil signs copies of her new historic book about British-occupied Philadelphia. Waldenbooks, Burlington, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 658-6019.

BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUP: Women Helping Battered Women facilitates a group in Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 658-1996. LESBIGATR YOUTH SUPPORT MEETING: Lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgendered and "questioning "folks under 23 are welcome at Outright Vermont, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 800-452-2428.

• hike around Indian Brook Reservoir. Carpooling from the Fort Ethan Allen Gazebo, Colchester, 9 a.m. Take gas money. Register, 878-6773.

dance

OPEN FENCING: Make your point for fitness. Memorial Auditorium Annex, Burlington, 6:30-9 p.m. $3Info, 865-1763.

music 'MY TRIP TO NEW Y O R K . . ' Actor Rusty Dewees offers his one-man show subtided, "a Vermont logger's

MY TRIP TO NEW YORK . . ' See December 26.

words

FRIDAY

drama

sport etc

Christmas

800-639-9097.

'SEVEN BEAUTIES': The Italian film by director Lena Wertmuller shows at Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 7 p.m. $2-6. Info, 652-1103.

'WIND IN THE WILLOWS': See December 22. 'THE HOBOKEN CHICKEN EMERGENCY': Look for fowl play in this film based on the book by Daniel Pinkwater. S. Burlington Library, 1:302:30 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. SCIENCE PROGRAM: Are dogs really colorblind? How do bees see? Get fresh perspective on the animal world at the Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 1-2:30 p.m. for ages five to seven, 3-4:30 p.m. for ages eight to 12. $4.50. Register, 878-8687. 'FORCES OF NATURE': Children in kindergarten through third grade look at the relationship between water, wind and rocks in natural disasters like earthquakes and volcanoes. Shelburne Farms, 9:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m., today and Tuesday. $40 for two days. Register, 985-8686.

kids

etc

'WIND IN THE WILLOWS': See December 22, 2 & 5 p.m. 'CONES & CONIFERS': A familyfriendly workshop takes a walk on the coniferous side. Art is also involved at North Branch Nature Center, Montpelier, 1-4 p.m. $3/5. Register, 229-6206.

BATTERED WOMEN'S SUPPORT GROUP: See December 22. TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: See December 22. EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: See December 22. 'SOUTHERN SPAIN': Pam and Robert Gillis put the emphasis on hiking and Moorish architecture in a slide show of their recent trip to Spain. Call for location, 4 p.m. Free. Info, 879-1457.'

sport EASY HIKE: Try out your new snowshoes, skis or hiking books on a short

MONDAY

music ELECTRIC VIOLIN CLINIC: As seen on "Great Performances," Todd Reynolds demonstrates the Zeta electric violin and associated compatible

GOOD CITIZEN CD RELEASE PARTY

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THE CHRISTMAS CAR

before I go in to sign the ^ . papers. Everyone is wearing Continued from page 14 red Santa hats, even the sales manager Chet introduces to lap, and listened while he read me Well, you're the one buyto me from Don Quixote. Don ing a new car today!" the manQuixote is the story of a ager says, smiling. Everyone is Spanish man who lives in a dream world. All that Saturday smiling. I go back outside and we spent sitting on the couch, check the mileage on the trying to get to know one brown Mazda. Only 10 miles. another without speaking. "They come with eight on "You can't push these 'em," Chet says. things," Bradley Three other salesexplained when men are drinking "How rwc r I told him my coffee, and they kids wanted to raise their cups to know him better <j|ey 5a 1 r me. "New car!" 15 because I loved they chorus. I ask him. "Otherwise them if they it's artificial." ! voice 15 dee think the color is But now it is ugly. "Ohhh, no," nearly Christmas they say, preand we still dsexj dictably. "That's don't have our our best-selling tree. I am not color." out shopping for Chet takes me to the signa VCR or a double bass pedal. ing room and leaves me with a Instead, I am standing at thin young Italian-looking Riders in front of a brown man named Tod, who oddly Mazda, feeling everything but resembles Lucky. I feel as excited. "I guess I should testthough the nurses have drive it," I say. Chet goes off laughed me right into the in search of a license plate and operating room and I am now I get behind the wheel. It is enough. I can see the C D play- facing the surgeon and his scalpel. "How does it feel? er, though I forgot to bring a Huhhh?" Tod cries out, and it C D with me to try it out. I sounds like another old movie, feel the softness of the Velour this time a Western with an seats and can hardly remember Indian whooping on a pinto the pain of sitting in the pony. Toyota Tercel in the wintertime with the window that wouldnx J^eJokatte red s a single parent J should rearend dragging a tail pipe have been more careful and the mushy shriek of the ft when I blabbed to the brakes. I am insulated in this children about Bradley being 1998 pampering. I am Mister Perfecto. I let all my ashamed and elated for a hopes out of the bag and moment, and then it goes exclaimed too much. "This is away. the man I want to be with forChet puts on a plate, and ever," I said, getting hysterical we drive the car around town Continued on page 20

CLASSES 12, 6-9

4045. Theresa Baton leads a

aikido

p.m. u r f o u r Saturdays starring

women's group for deepening spiri-

January 10, 2-5 p.m. Breakers

tual connnection.

AIKIDO: Adults: Mondays -

Club, S. Burlington. $20.

Fridays, 5:45-8 p.m. &

tai chi

Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m.

state 9-ball champ teaches,

TAI C H I : Tuesdays, 6:30-8 p.m.

Children: Tuesdays & Thursdays,

day.

& 8-9 p.m. Food For Thought,

3:45-4:45 p.m. Aikido of the

POTTERY & SCULPTURE:

Stowe. $10. Info, 253-4733.

Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen

Once a week for seven weeks

ving tsun

St., Winooski. $40 for first

starting the week of January 5.

month. Register, 654-6999.

Adults: Mondays-Saturdays,

Study this grace fill powerfid mar-

9:30-11 a.m. or 6-8:30 p.m.

Hal art and develop flexibility, con-

Children & teens: 3-5 p.m.

fidence and self-defense skills. It's

Vermont Clay Studio,

an alternative to offensive martial

Montpelier. $105 for kids; $155

arts.

for adults. Register. 223-4220.

A I K I D O : Mondays - Fridays, 6-

Beginning advanced and specialty

8 p.m. Saturdays, 9-10:30 a.m.

classes are available, with hundreds

Vermont Aikido, 724 N.

of open studio hours included. Call

Winooski Ave., Burlington. $50

for a schedule.

per month. Info, 862-9785. This martial art is an effective discipline

health

for the development of body, mind

INTRO T O CHIROPRACTIC:

D I O : Daily, Burlington Yoga

and spirit.

Wednesdays. 8 p.m. 200 Main

Studio. Info, 658-YOGA. Classes

aromatherapy

Street #17, Burlington. Free.

are offered in Astanga, Iyengar,

Kripalu and Bikram styles.

I N T R O T O AROMATHERA-

Sherman makes a case for putting

Beginners can start any time.

PY: Tuesdays, January 27,

your spine in line.

Star Root, Burlington. $75.

meditation

M E D I T A T I O N : Thursdays, 7-

February 3 & 10, 6:30-9:30 p.m.

tctionsand

8:30 p.m. 13 Dorset Lane, Suite

cjjfects of* basic csscnttul oils,

203, Wiliiston. info, 872-3797.

art

Green Mountain Learning Center

MOY YAT V I N G T S U N

health, fitness and inner strength

while learning a practical and applicable martial art. Women's

classes, Body Garage member and monthly rates are available.

yoga B U R L I N G T O N YOGA STU-

Teaching a class?

presents meditation.

PAINTING A N D DRAWING

M E D I T A T I O N : First & third

CLASSES: Eight, three-hour ses-

Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon.

sions beginning the week of

Btirlinp^n S h a m l ^ d a ^ ^ p t e r .

January 5. Montpelier, $160.

Free. Info, B58^o795 Tnstru, tors

teach non-sectarian and Tibetan

Sophrin offers intensive group

Buddhist practices.

instruction in all aspects of oil

spirit

painting and drawing for students of all levels.

' T H E PLACE O F SPIRITUAL-

billiards

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P O O L S C H O O L : Four

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to me which side my mother was on when we were with them, nor which side I was supposed to be on. The adults involved seemed to follow a bewildering kind of logic in which it was, apparently, one thing for my mother's family to know we were not religious, yet quite another for anyone to openly acknowledge it. "Showing respect," I was told,

A CHANUKAH TALE Continued from page 11 netically mimicked "Hebrew" of the rest of us, but with what, to me, was a frightening degree of comprehension, even, at times, seeming to draw comfort from them. Holiday songs, particularly from her mother's family, evoked in her such emotion that she would often have to stop mid-verse and put her face in her hands and weep, while the rest of us sat, saying nothing, waiting, hoping for her to come back to us. One of my fears, watching my mother weep so, was that in addition to the guilt and pain she was feeling there was also regret. I feared that she thought she had made a mistake. How could her children recite Hebrew in such ignorance, not be moved by, not even know the meaning of her songs? Somehow it seemed to me that I was responsible, at fault for my lack of comprehension, and I wished I could break into perfect, fluent Hebrew for her. Yet part of me also wanted her to know that she had not made a mistake, that I loved the way she had brought us up and I admired her for her courage.

Craig introduces himself in return, offering his hand. Moishe Perlman does not take it No one moves.

This confusion became even more pronounced when we were in the company of her family. It was never really clear

was what we were all doing. What crazy things we did, "showing respect." In December, if Zayde, my mother's father, visited us, there would be, beforehand, a frantic clearing of the living room, my mother taking all the Christmas cards down from where they decorated the bookshelves, only to put them out again as soon as he was gone. If we attended a cousin's bar mitzvah on a Saturday, we would park two blocks away and walk the rest, even if the event were miles from our house, even if it were in the

Bronx, as if people would believe we had walked all the way that morning. I know that at some point, there was an attempt at keeping the fact that we weren't kosher a secret, for there is the story of when Bubbe, my grandmother, came to visit, and my older brother, then a toddler, ran around the yard waving a package of bacon. Whether my grandmother identified what it was in his hand, no one really knew. No one asked. I have always identified with my brother in that story, his act being so closely akin to what I always feared doing around my mother's family, a fear that was at its worst during the annual Chanukah party. For four, five hours I had to be on my guard not to reveal my ignorance, not to force anyone to acknowledge the truth, while, at the same time, wanting to do exactly that. For me, those parties were a horrible no-man's land. Were I to say the wrong thing — and how easy it would have been to ask for a glass of milk with meat, to sing too loudly in my "Hebrew" — it would be as good as announcing what we all knew to be true yet wasn't spoken: that my mother had abandoned her people. That she had raised her children as apikorim. That she had knowingly inflicted on her parents irreparable pain. Continued

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I as I heard my own words. mf, ,> - « "This is the man I have waited that Bradley had said, "As soon for." And the children eyed me as you get a new car, you can with interest — the interest start coming down to see me j that 14-year-old twins might again. We have more privacy at | show a mother dissolving into my house." It seems eons ago j a happy crying jag over a when I first saw him in his j plump man with a beard in a own litde grey 1996 Mazda Mazda just like the one for sale automatic DX. "It's the best by the car dealer. little car on the market," he Now that I think of it, had explained to me, over our Bradley has a Santa Claus look only dinner date. "I'll send you about him. Large with a beard the reports from Consumer and a somber purpose to his Guide and you can make up actions. He moves as though your own mind, he plans first — a swift stride Now that I think about it, will get him across my kitchen it was Bradley who really sold in a few movements. But he is me my first Mazda, not Chet. If he had had a showroom j not jolly like Santa would be. with Mazdas And he couldn't for sale, I afford the sack of ( would have T love C h r i s t m a s , I toys. bought one. As " I love this it was, I only | man," I told my bought his i children, standing words, gave I s a j . Vie pull into them before me. him my adoraThey were my littion, and handtle tin soldiers, ed Chet the I holding up bravely check. It under the illusions Riders V e h i c l e s a n d reminded me of | of their desperate how my ex-husj single mother. band had want"Great, mom." My ed a child until j daughter broke the ( k p o i n t s out the I was in labor, I silence first. at which point ''Now can I go do he left. my homework?" Bradley had window.(Th ere\ wanted me to get a Mazda

on page 22

H e u u

THE CHRISTMAS CAR Worti^&ed

jour car! | have to stop at my j oldest daughter's apartment to show I her the new 1998 j Mazda Protege j LX, but she isn't home. I keep meaning to ask for her schedule at school. It seems we always miss one another. I use the cruise control on j the Interstate and stop at a I convenience store in a small i town and buy some lousy Christmas music to try out the | C D player. The first song is "Oh, Christmas Tree," by Rap | Rock Ribby. I drive past malls lit up and blazing with red and J green and I want to stop and ! become a part of the I Christmas-bustle, but I've put j every cent on the new car. I put it in drive, set the cruise control, turn on the heat and the wipers, and it almost chauffeurs me home. I have no [ idea what the temperature is | outside. The Tercel used to backfire and sputter in third gear. The whole town knew

Ilf:

it. rsdw he hasn't called since leaving last weekend. Part of me <

longs to show him my shiny brown new Mazda so he might say, "Good girl! Now we can be a family!" Anyway, it starts to snow as I near home, and I get to try out the windshield wipers. Just before I pull in my driveway, though, I panic, thinking I had been cheated out of the floormats, because I realize my feet are resting on sheets of paper. I stop by the mailbox and reach down and feel around by my feet. I can feel the texture of the bumpy wool mat, and the rubber edge of it lifts up with my hand. I beep in front of the house and turn up the C D player. The kids come running out and open the passenger door and look in. Then, like a couple of salesmen, they both say, "Ohh, mom! It's fantastic! It's the best car!" ®

home t( wood frostbite driving without mittens. It's j not that I miss the old car for j one second, but I can feel the

page

SEVEN DAYS

december

22,

1997

OUTDOORS

David

Healy

nowflakes the size of whole notes mix with Schroeder's melodies as Charlie Brown and Linus head out to buy a tree for the Christmas pageant. Under the glare of the sales lot lights, surrounded by a forest of shiny aluminum trees, Charlie Brown pulls one of his patented blockhead moves and buys the ugly sapling of Christmas « trees. While Charles Schultz didn't have a hand in sketching the spartan tree that stands in the living room of John and

Suzie DeBrosse's home, Charlie Brown would at least be drawn to it. "Commercial trees are all the same, they're all perfect," says Suzie DeBrosse defending their airy eightfoot spruce. "This is the way trees really look." But don't be mistaken, the Burlington couples selection wasn't an impulsive identification with the underdog. For the past few years, the two energetic outdoor enthusiasts have deliberately cut their own conifers the way people did when the state's farmers raised cows and corn, not trout and trees. Tromping through the woods with family and friends, the DeBrosses take advantage of a unique "Christmas Tree Removal" program in the wilds of the Green Mountain National Forest near Middlebury. "I can't imagine going to buy a Christmas tree anywhere else," DeBrosse says of the cut-your-own program. "I wouldn't want to, it

it's about 20 feet tall." Fighting for the light in the forest, unpruned trees tend to reach for the sky and grow long and lean, DeBrosse notes. While a little extra space between the branches may be dandy for decorations, non-commercial trees aren't without their challenges. DeBrosse, a microchip designer for IBM, had to call on a good portion of his engineering prowess to get the pencil-thin trunk to stay in a tree stand. The solution? A generous helping of duct tape and scrap wood to snowy beef up the base.

doesn't get any better than on a snowy day going out with the family and a saw and hauling home a tree," she argues. Maggie McCormick, a long-time DeBrosse friend and former skeptic, has warmed to the natural tree cutting tradition. "In our sterile and commercial world, it's good to get back to nature," says the 30-year old Rhode Island resident with a crop of dark,

It doesn't get any better than on a

day going out with the family and a s a w hauling home a tree." -

Kathleen Diehl, U.S. Forest Service

wouldn't be the same." While the Christmas Tree program means a lot to citizens who have both the right and the desire to cut trees from public land, it's also helpful for managing the 355,000 acres of national forest in Vermont, says Kathleen Diehl of the U.S. Forest Service. "It sounds terrible to say," she confides, "but it's a real cheap way to get some thinning done." In this case, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Tree cutters pay just five bucks for a permit to harvest a tree, albeit "a Charlie Brown tree," as DeBrosse's brother-in-law refers to them, compared to the $25 the full-figured varieties fetch in town. But for most of the 75 or so permit holders, it's the adventure, not the price, that's the draw, says Diehl. "It

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Lucy-like hair. As a federal program — Vermont doesn't allow cutting Christmas trees on state land — any person with a permit can cut an evergreen, and McCormick has now happily bagged and tagged her second tree in as many years. Just like "harvesting" a deer, felled timber must carry a tag before it's put on the car and transported. Poaching a pine, like doing in a doe out of season, is a felonious offense leading to serious grief, warns Diehl. Perhaps not surprisingly, hunting for a good tree in the forest is harder than bagging a balsam jack-lit on a crowded lot. As J.R.R. Tolkien so insightfully illuminated in The Hobbit, trees in the wild can be deceptive creatures. "You always see one in the distance that looks great," says John DeBrosse. "When you get over to it,

and

But his wife, a former school teacher with a bevy of student-made ornaments, likes the fact that the ungroomed tree helps show off the decorations. "You can actually see the ornaments," she says, proudly pointing out a wooden Champ and a fully functional lobster hanging from silver and gold ribbons. "Even the ones on the other side," her husband interjects with a light ho, ho, ho. Most importantly, the DeBrosses and their friends say the annual outing helps them see the forest for the trees. "You're out there looking for a tree with a four-year-old who falls and stops to lop up the snow with his tongue when he's down," says McCormick of her friends' young nephew. "It's just really special." Special enough to make you want to shout, "Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown. Merry Christmas, everyone!" ® For more info on a federal Christmas Tree Removal permit, call 388-4362.

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tractor-trailer is suddenly in front of us, and

Craig swerves into the unused left lane to pass. The impact of the wheels as they plow and shimmy is daunting. My mother leans forward and grips the back of Craig's seat. I wonder if she's going to tell him to turn around and go home, this is meshugge, this is insane. She speaks directly into his right ear. "My brother Sol," she says, "may not be particularly welcoming. Don't take it personally. He's chronically depressed." She leans back, releasing her grip, momentarily relieved to have passed on that piece of information. She then leans forward again. "Don't approach Moishe Perlman's wife on your own. I'll point her out to you. Only talk to her if you're introduced. And by no means hug her or shake her hand." Again she leans back and looks out her window, and I realize she is not even seeing the snow. Craig nods to these bits of advice as he grips the steering wheel, getting us through a couple of seconds of blindness as we creep alongside the truck. The bits of advice have been coming every five minutes or so. My father nods as well, assuring Craig with a wave of his hand that there's no need to be concerned with any of what my mother is telling him. I realize that what matters to my father right now is that Craig's nerves remain intact long enough to get us to Brooklyn alive, long enough — the hell with Brooklyn — to get us past the truck alive. I hate this. Moishe Perlman — the name alone turns my stomach to knots — is my mother s cousin, a Chasid; more orthodox than orthodox. An immense man, a figure out of the Middle Ages, with a black beard that covers his chest, a large black hat, and a long dark coat. If my other relatives are threatening to me, Moishe Perlman is utterly terrifying. With him, it is not even a matter of my saying the wrong thing; it is as if he can see, just by looking, all he needs to know. Why are we doing this? Back in Vermont, it had been so clear that I was doing it for her, to show her that her family mattered to me, and that, now that I was an adult, I could overcome my childhood fears. I understood what her family meant to her. 1 underYet now that I see what her hands are doing to each other in her lap, I see that it is my mother who is doing this for me. She is subjecting herself to

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DAYS

december

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1997

this anxiety, this terror, to show me she loves Craig, and that she accepts him totally. She will do whatever it takes, even this. Even this. After a near lifetime of keeping things unspoken, after 60-odd years of so intricate a game of pretense that no one, really, knew the rules, she will break them all. She will introduce her family to her daughters husband, her son-in-law, a non-Jew, a goy.

e park several blocks from my uncle's, and by the time we walk the unshoveled sidewalks and reach the house we are sincerely eager to go inside. The light,' the noise, the smell of frying latkes are truly inviting. We crowd into the small entryway, closed off from the living room by a door through whose frosted glass we can see figures, movement. We remove outer clothing in silence, and I see my mothers mouth set as she prepares to enter. I am afraid she is too caught up in her own terrors to remember Craig and all the things she's promised to tell him. But seconds before she opens the living room door, she takes hold of his hand with a firm assurance, and leads him in. Wait! I want to shout, pulling at her dress. Don't leave me! I am eight years, old, consumed by fear, only a fear vastly more complicated than it has ever been before. Yet somehow I make my way around the room to aunts, uncles, cousins I haven't seen in years, following in the wake of Craig and my mother, who has yet to let go of his hand. I see he is, as I am myself, being received warmly; an uncle has given him a yarmulke to wear. People are smiling as they greet him, talking of the blizzard, asking about the drive, even my uncle Sol. But something keeps me from relaxing completely; something tells me that if this is all that is to happen at the party, it is not enough, I will be disappointed. I have come for something more.

motion, all sound — though I know this cannot really be — come to a stop. Moishe Perlman walks to within a few feet of Craig, and all heads turn. My mother releases Craig's hand as if she realizes that for this, she can do nothing. Moishe Perlman eyes Craig for a few seconds longer and then, appearing to make up his mind, he speaks. He introduces himself, and Craig, his eyes

It is then that I see Moishe Perlman walking into the crowded living room. He is as large as I remember, but his beard is no longer black, nor does it cover his chest. The past dozen years have thinned it considerably, and it is silver. It is his eyes that have not changed; they are piercing and intense as ever, and they are on Craig. He keeps them on Craig and my mother for the next several minutes, while he stands off to the side. He will not be introduced until he is ready. And when he is ready, all

tensing of her hands; a small, inadvertent sound. Moishe Perlman, aware of these, sends her a quick glance. Craig shakes his head, however. "No," he says, "no. I know very little Hebrew." This, I think to myself, is when we are to be struck dead, Now. But all that happens is Moishe Perlman nods, showing no surprise, no displeasure, "Stranger in a strange land," he says. "Stranger in a strange land," he says a little

S •

I I

I B H I H H • P ) .. . . ,

JL ^

Lighting the menorah v or

leading the seder,

louder, taking Craig's hand in both of his own. His hands are so large, I almost can feel them surrounding my own, and I look at my mother to see if she feels them too. Oddly, I sense them encompassing hers, and I see that she is crying, very softly. "Gershon," Moishe Perlman repeats now, nearly in a whisper, but he is no longer looking at Craig; he is looking at my mother. "Gershon," he says again, "you are welcome." And moving slowly, he shifts his gaze from my mother to me, then to my mother and then v to me, as if he knows he must do this carefully, as if he knows he is showing us something we may never have seen before: the path that his eyes

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it, his returning gaze n seems to imply. It is the shortest distance between two people. It is the path by which you have come here. It is the route, I can see now, by which each of us has come here. It is the thread that connects

Baruch atah adonai, we recite once the sun she would recite has gone down and the first candle is lit. We Hebrew prayers, not in stand as a group in front of the menorah, in front the phonetically mimof the single flame, and I stand by my mother, icked " Hebrew" of the looking over her shoulder into the prayer book she rest of us. but with a holds open for me. Perhaps it is because I frightening degree of have the words in front of me, or because I see comprehension her holding that book open with such strength in her hands, but my voice rises high, with locked with Moishe Perlman's, hers, as I find my way with surintroduces himself in return, prising, perhaps even miracuoffering his hand. Moishe lous, clarity. Perlman does not take it. Baruch atah adonai ebhenu No one moves. melech ha-olam, Blessed are "You need a name," says Moishe Perlman, his voice deep You, Lord our God, King of the universe, sheheheyanu vkiye and thickly accented, "a manu v'hi-gi-anu lazman hazeh, Hebrew name," and he stops W h o has kept us alive and for a moment to think. strong and enabled us to reach "Gershon," he says. "Do you this moment. ® know what that means, Gershon?" I catch, out of the corner of my eye, my mother's comprehension: a small movement, a

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SEVEN DAYS

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kjauety, JBumngton, o j a s i v j . i m w ^ u j ^ i u u ^ . - , , , ; t 0 H BLACHLffmwork pastels and maps. Horn of the MoonCak, Montpeiier, 426-3955. Through lanuar 19 Q ^ T T a N D S C A P E S and ink drawings by Robert Huntoon, and SCENES FROM AH ISLAND YEAR, iinoblockandsilWreen prints by Roy NeWto^GreenMoumain Power Corp,, Burlington, 8641557. Through January, 1 „§ , ; -*' ' X/ , , PAINTINGS by Marshia Rosburg. Better Bagel, Wiliiston, 879-2808. Through January. ^ . , DENNIS GALLERY, small landscapes by the Irish self-taught artist. Also, LANDSCAPES by Thomas ' Ctirtin. Clarke Galleries, Stowe. 253-7114 Ongoing. • ORDERED PROGRESSIONS, a t t r a c t sculpture instaUaridhby Keith Wagner. The Mens Room, Burlington, 864-2088. Through February 4. . , , , , SHOPPING F0 R $A LVAT 10 N? a group ;art:skiw m mixed mcdia<&cusing on the essence ot the holiday ^ o n / C o m p o s t ArtCtnter; Hardwick,.472--96l3.Through January 15. SHADOWS AND LI GHT, watercolors by Sean Callahan. Yellow Dog Restaurant, Winooski, 655-1703. Through December. ' '.r 40 ^EARS OF PHOTOGRAPHY, featuring an eclectfc retrot specrive of black-and-white photographs and books by Peter Miller. Peter Miller Gallery, Waterbury, 244-5339. Ongoing. Vr: 'ARCHITECTURAL BLOCKS , showand sale of hardwood toys by Karen Hewitt, Learning Materials Workshop, 274 N. / ^fgT Winooski, Ave., Burlington, 862-8399. Through December 23. M RNISSAGE 1 9 9 8 , featuring arWorlcrin mixed mediaby 25 local and national artists who will show during the next year. * Doll-Amtadt Gallery, Burlington 864-3661. Through December. : NORTH E RN LI GHTS;, Work by 14,Regional, Artists.Furchgott /Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. T h o u g h January 6. MASTERFU L MUGS, a KoI0ay exhibit and sale by regional potters. Vermont Clay Studio, Montpelier, 223-4220. Through December. J; 0 LAY MO RKS, featuring handmade relief riles by Karen Brooks. Phoenix Rising, Montpelier, 229-0522. Through January 3. THREE FRIENDS, paintings and drawings by IsabethHardy, A

1f '

_J \A

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888-7625. Through January 4* „ _ ,,,, ,, t CURATORS' I N V I T A T I O N A L E X H I B I T , a group show in mixed media, featuring work from Caravan Arts curators and guest artists. Dubie's Cafe, Burlington, 660-9060. Through January 4. WORKS BY B I L L K I RBY , oil paintings, llsley Library, Middlebury, 388-0267. Through January 15. A RTWORK by Karla Van Vliet, Woody s Restaurant, Middlebury,^ 388-4182. Through -December. < 'i - : ~~ 17TH ANNUAL F E S T I V A L OF THE CHRISTMAS TRE E$, decorated in a Victorian theme by local arril^Helen Day Art Cenrer, Stowe, 253-8358. Through January 4. NIGHT GALLERY IN THE PAST, photography by Claudia F e

1997

Librar>

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. by Orion Fredericks. F M i p g Room, - 24 Gallery, Burlington/652-1103. Through 11 . icella collage by Ann.Lewis. Common Threads, Burlington, 865-

IH«

and oil pastel. Main Street News, mixed media. Chaffee Center for the Visual *

' work byT)ebra Steinfeld. H H M i Also at ELDER ART, a group show -at -Lincoln - - - - Hall,• Essex Jet., 658-7454. _ ; ior Center, Milton Public Library and Winooski City Hall. Through January 2 .AL HOLIDAY ART SHOW AND SALE, featuring the works in mixed media of m i Mill Craft Shop, Jericho, 899-1106, Through December 28 ENCOUNTERS, a survey of genre paintings featuring love and domesticity in 18th-century J Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603-646-3646 Through January 4 H SON PRINTS, recent work from the University of Vermont art professor. Farrell Room, St. Edmund's Hall, St. Michael s College, 654-2000. Through December. IGAL, featuring 20 monumental sculptures by the American pop artist. Museum of Fine 514-285-1600. Through January 11. , _ FURNISHINGS AND P A I N T I N G S by Ruth Pope. Windstrom Hill Studio/Gallery, Montpelier, 2295899. Ongoing. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these

W e d n e s d a y t h o u g h S u n d a y 1 1 a m to 6 p m

page

listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted.

SEVEN

DAYS

december

private

22,

1997

THE HOYIS CINEMAS

FILM QUIZ

the brand name on a in jpievt icjcase nanu-uuis. w i

ticated agent when you ha\

M about as much relevance to the balance o power as a telegraph gun. He's a quaint ja don't get,'^evidenced by mem in the oddlylucrative $ vious film, Goldeneyeever — made more m

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ft^h,

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out of a crowded room? It's as though the film's makers were trying to underscore the tor 1:U 1 check preposrerousness of the whole business by casting a > »"<

FILM FEATURES

Time for one of the most popular versions of our quiz - in which we test your powers of reconstructive thinking with an assortment of famous features, for which we need the owners' famous names...

a a

Also not helping matters is the fact that, other than Saddam Hussein, the U.S. and U.K. don't have any really big-time enemies on the world scene these days. As a result there isn't anyone for Bond to save the world from except the same sort of silly, overblown cartoon bad guys we can already see any week of the year in; the ,film#CStev^Seagal,. Bruce Willis and Jean-Claude Van Damme. In this case, kWlaughably over-the-top me&a b p * played by Jonathan Pryce. The character owns a global empire o£ newspêrltî^^M^^mid television outlets and hatches a plot to start World War III so hell have an exclusive on the festivities. Pryce tries to pit the British against the (Jhineseô, naturally, Bond ends up with *t beautiful Chinese cohort {Michelle Yeoh) at which to direct his sexual double entendres and with which to enjoy long chase sequences aboard an expensive BMW motorcycle. But then, you've seen the commercials. The premise is ho-hura hokey, Bond's'ban mots am about as sophisticated as a sex joke in a boys locker room, and the action scenes have all the blood-and-sweat believabiltty of a Broadway tap number. In fact, the only thing that distinguishes these recent films from the hundreds of non-Bond action films out there is the continuation of certain stylistic-traditions: the trademark opening credits with their hallucinogenic, pistol-packing nymphs; the ancient Q with his gallery of shiny, prestochango gizmos; the inevitable "Bond...James Bond" introduction; the wonderfully reverbed dum de de dum dum dum of the soundtrack guitar. They are pleasant reminders of a bygone time when there tjy needed to be

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T I TAN I C ( N R ) Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane and Kathy Bates arc among the big names on board fames Cameron's monumental look at modern history's most famous disaster. MOUSE HUNT {HR) The first film from Spielbergs DreamWorks , since Amistad is another picture whose plot sounds strangely familiar. Nathan Lane and Lee Evans play bumbling brothers whose plans to renovate a rundown mansion are foiled by a resourceful mouse. Sound like Home Alone with a rodenr to anyone else? SCREAM 2 * * Wes Craven directs the sequel to his shockingly successful nouveau horror hit. Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and Jada Pinkett are damsels in distress. FOR R I C H E R OR POORER ( N R ) Just in time for Oscar consideration: The latest comedy from Tim Allen in which he and Kirstte Alley play real estate hustlers who evade the IRS by posing as an Amish couple. Bryan (McHale's Nary) directs. HOME A L O N E 3 * Macaulay Culkin has left the building.This time around, it's eight-year-old gets left behind to do battle with bumbling thieves. fourth installment in the deteriorating scries is a muddled mess, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet s knack for wacky efFccts and set design, "inona Ryder. Lee's follow-up to the Oscar-winning Sense and Sensibility has been on the film festival circuit. Kevin Kline, Sigourney Weaver and Joan this literate look at the impact of the '60s sexual revolution on several Allen head an on the novel by Rick Moody. suburban couples in the | stars in the John Hughes-scripted update of 196 Is The AbsrntFLUBBER(NR) RobJ directs. Marcia Gay Harden and Christopher McDonald co-star. • Les|

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Waterfront Video WOULD LIKE TO WISH OUR FRIENDS AND PATRONS

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 8C A FILM-TASTIC NEW YEAR! OPEN CHRISTMAS 6c N E W YEAR'S

December

22 ,

1997

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' Bond films have always been a celebration of style, but the latest

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OF GOOD AND E V I L (NR) d i m Eastwood directs thi*

best-selling saga of murder and madness in Savannah, Georgia. Kevin accused of shooting his lover. Also featuring John Cusack, Jack SSatJighter, Alison Eastwood. ( N R ) From famed animators Don Bluth and Gary Goldman comes this $50 million o claims to be the long-lost Romanov princess. Featuring the voicChristopher Lloyd. 'oung actor Matt Damon stars here as yet another noble attorney in yet Grisham best-seller. The surprise here is who sat in the directors chair: Iso wrote the script. Robert Carlyle stars in the saga of a half-dozen unemployed British career paths and become strippers. Peter Cattaneo directs.

SHOWTIMCS Due to an early holiday production, film schedules were unavailable at press time. Please call your local theaters for information. Silver Cinemas Ethan Allen 4: 863-6040. Cinema Nine: 864-5610. Showcase Cinemas 5: 863-4494. Nickelodeon Cinemas: 863-9515. The Savoy: 229-0509.

SEVEN DAYS

page

Classifieds housemates wanted JOVT FORECLOSED HOMES rom pennies on $ 1. Delinquent K, repo's, REOs. Your area. TollIfree, 1-800-218-9000, Ext. H-6908 Ifor current listings.

FERRISBURGH: Lots of space and charm, 2 baths, large kitchen, plenty of storage, great views and a great value. Two rooms avail. $300/mo. + utils. 877-3777. MALLETTS BAY: Quiet, responsible, non-smoking prof, or grad student to share very nice, 2-bdrm. condo. Great location, no pets, low utils. $325/mo. + 1/2 utils. Call 879-0327.

office/studio space SEEKING TWO WHOLISTIC practitioner members for our Healing Center collective. $150/mo., includes utils. Private sessions or classes. Convenient, downtown location, lake view, Burlington. Call 865-2756 ext. 5.

buy this stuff

looking to rent/sublet SEEKING: ONE HIP AND spiritually evolved landlord. Wholistic health practitioner needs safe home for flotation tank/possible wellness center. Refs. avail. Call Chris, 8627595 (days) or 879-3694 (eves.)

for rent BURLINGTON: 2-bdrm., jiving room, kitchen, gas heat, off-street parking, close to downtown. Avail. 1/5/98. $550/mo. + dep. Call 865-7972.

DRIVERS WANTED! Excellent income potential. Cash on nightly basis. Full/part-time positions available. Menus on the Move, 863-6325. If no answer, leave msg.

FUTON FOR SALE: full size, 9" thick matress, beautiful frame, like new. Paid $600, asking $325. Also Mens small Northface Vertical Gortex jacket, green/black. Paid $400, asking $75. 373-9099.

EMPTY POCKETS NEEDS excellent male vocalist/acoustic guitarist for regular weekend gigs. Must be fast learner! R&B, R V R. Call Glad, 482-5230.

ARLINGTON: 1-bdrm. to sublet (Jan.-June) on Hungerford Terr. $306/mo.; heat, laundry, parking included. Call Stacey or Jamie, 863-8335.

WOLFF TANNING BEDS

BURLINGTON: Male, 29, openminded, looking for quiet roommate to share apt. on So. Willard St. near Pearl St.—hill section Victorian, 2nd floor, balconies, spacious, well-maintained. $397/mo. includes heat, hot water, laundry, [garbage, off-street parking. No [smokers or pets. Avail. Jan. 1. Call joe, 862-2600.

Low Monthly Payments FREE Color Catalog CALL TODAY 1-800-842-1310

BURLINGTON: Looking for female grad or prof, for downtown townhouse w/ laundry. Avail. 1/1. $225/mo. + utils. Call 863-6272.

CHARLOTTE: Non-smoking female housemate wanted for beautiful country apartment beside river. Rural and quiet, yet close to Burlington. $350/mo. + utils. Call 425-6220. '

housekeeping TIRED TO DEATH OF EVERYTHING? Go ahead, take a nice long nap. We'll do the chores. Call Diane H., housekeeper to the stars. 658-7458. "Somebody's been picking up the mess, and it sure hasn't been me."—Humpty Dumpty.

FOLK MUSICIANS WANTED for our 4th Annual Folk Series. Tuesday and Friday dates. Call Three Mountain Lodge, 644-5736. WANTED: MUSICAL ACTS for recording/touring in 1998. Rush demo and/or CD and any promo materials ASAP for prompt consideration. No front-end fees. Call (212) 629-1824. POKER HILL 24-TRACK RECORDING. Quality, pleasant, Midi, Mac, keys, drums, effects, automation, CDs, demos. 899-4263. THE KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE has one lockout space available beginning Jan. 1. 24-hr. access. Call for info, 660-2880. BEFORE YOU SIGN—contact an experienced entertainment lawyer. All forms of legal protection for the creative artist. Sandra Paritz, attorney, 802-426-3950.

good company Nuts about newsprint? SEVEN DAYS is looking for a full-

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GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON. Looking to share in the drive. Work hours ait M-P, 7:<t5 a.m. to 4:$Q p.m. (2385) MORETOWN to BURLINGTON. Do you go by FAHCMCHV? H w about riding together? I work 7:30 a.ni. to 4 p.m., M-P. (1344;

BURLINGTON to RICHMOND. Don't do the ride alone, let's share the drive. 1 work 9 to 5. flexible hours. (2716) ESSEX to WATERBURY. I work 7:30 to 4:30, but cm be flexible. I'm willing to share in the drive. (1912) HINESBURG to MONTPELIER. 1 carpool from Richmond, now, but I'd like tofindsomeone closer to home to pool with from

SWAN TON to SO. BURLING TON. Share the ride and piece of mind. Working hours are 8:30 to 5, M-F. (1280) COLCHESTER (MALLETTS BAY) to D Q W N I W N

M. HINESBURG to ST. ALBANS. Its a new job on the 3 to 11:30 shift. I'd like to find a carpool from Richmond, Williston. even Colchester or Essex! Will share

F.{1534) BURLINGTON DOWNTOWN. Share the cross-town 15 to 5:30 (U42)

MILTON to UVM. I'm an early bird. Looking for a ride with

SHELBURNE to TAFT CORNERS. WILLISTON. In need of a ride M-F. Work frr-n 7:30 to 5:30. (1619!

at nearby location. M-F, 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Somewhatflexible.(2181)

BURLINGTON to NORTH AVE., BURLINGTON. Need a ridetowork. Work from 8:00 to 2:30. (2105) BURUNCTON to MONTPELIER. I see all those cars with one person during my commute. Would someone like to share the ride and use half the gas? I work in State St., usually 8:30 or 9 to about 5 p.tn. Hey. let's try it a few days a week. (2705)

WINOOSKI to SO. BURLINGTON, Krupp Dr. Got a new job ; to offer rides? I'll walk several blocks and I can take the bus from downtown Burlington or Essex. Will pay for rides. (2734) BARRE/BERLIN to BURLINGTON. I'm an early bitd. Need to be to work on Pine St. by 6:30 a.m. and I get out at 3 p.m. Can meet you in Berlin P/R if mote convenient than Batre. (2200) SEARS AREA to WATERBURY. Long time carpooler needs some new pool members. Works at stare building, approx. 7:30 a.m. 4 p.m. Leave Sears at 6:45 a.m. (U49)

BURLINGTON to UNDERHILL CTR I need ndes from New North End or anywhere on the bus system to a new job in UnderhiilJf$«ible workday, M-F.

time, fun-loving perfectionist to assist with a variety of detail-oriented tasks, includ-

RUNAWAY CAT! Very shy, multicolored, Maine coon cat look-alike. Jumped from car at corner of College & Pine. Please call Reni at 862-4467 if you see him.

very organized, eager and

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SEIZED CARS FROM $175. Porsches, Cadillacs, Chevys, BMW's, Corvettes. Also Jeeps, 4WD's. Your area. 1-800-218-9000 Ext. A-6908 for current listings.

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and listings. You will never be bored in this job. Must be willing to work your way up

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letter explaining why you want to work with us. Send it to: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

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$199.00

THE EXCHANGE—New CDs under $10, used CDs a low as $3. Send $1 and SASE for current list or your requests. Always buying used CDs. The Exchange, 33 Couch St., Pittsburgh, NY 12901.

FENDER BASSMAN speaker cabinet—4x12" speakers, deep enclosure, $175. 658-1984.

ings, proofreading, circulation

BURLINGTON: Housemate wanted to share 3-bdrm. apt. on So. Union St., 2nd floor, screened in porch, walk to downtown, $250/mo. + utils. Call 651-0876.

TAN AT HOME Buy DIRECT and SAVE! Commercial/Home units from

FOR SALE: 2 API 550-B, $450 each. 1 Dawmer dual expander compressor, $250. 2 Hardy Ml pre amps, $200 each. 1 Dawmer dual gate, $350. 1 Roland A-8 weighted Midi controller (mint), $1,400. 985-8255.

MAPLE ST. GUITAR REPAIR. Professional repairs, customizing and restorations of all fretted instruments. $$$ paid for broken guitars. Located in Advance Music building, 75 Maple St., Burlington. 862-5521. ,

ing billing, paste-up, mail-

BURLINGTON: Female wanted to share 4-bdrm. house. No smoking or pets. Next to lake & bike path, gas heat, private beach. Cheap rent. Must see! Please call 862-5509.

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help wanted BAKER WANTED: Organic dog biscuit company moving to Charlotte looking for a baker approx. 20-25 hrs./week. Fun, laidback atmosphere. Free biscuits for your pooch. 496-7297.

SKI PASSES. MUST SELL! Two transferable season ski passes. Can be used at Jay Peak, Wildcat, Stratton, Bretton Woods, Shawnee Peak, Cannon, Ragged Mtn., Pat's Peak, Mt. Tom or Mt. Sunapee. $1,200 value each. BEST OFFER. Call Nancy, 864-5684.

MAKE YOUR OWN WINE! Homebrewed beer and soft drinks, too w/ equipment, recipes, & friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. 147 E. Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070.

housemates wanted

REPAIRS, RENOVATIONS, PAINTING, consultations, decks, windows, doors, siding, residential, commercial, insured & references. Chris Hannah, 865-9813.

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good graphics If you are a fast, furiky, flexible designer, SEVEN DAYS wants you to work in our burgeoning graphics department. Substitute hours in early January and many more possible. Macintosh Quark and Photoshop a must. Good attitudes only. Write us a letter explaining why you want to work with us. Send it to: SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

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L I F E M A Y V E R Y WELL BE P O I N T L E S S A N D A B S U R D , B U T T H A T D O E S N ' T M E A N O N E S H O U L D N ' T L I V E A P O I N T L E S S L Y A B S U R D LIFE JUST T H E S A M E . fern flap • ? 6 f. h.

december

22,

1997-

BASS INSTRUCTION: All levels, harmony, theory, technique, learn by ear or sight. Keith Hubacher (Disciples, Nerbak Bros., Kip Meaker). Great gift idea for the holidays. Call 434-4309. GUITAR INSTRUCTION: All styles, any level. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship & personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo). 862-7696.

THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE. Swedish Esalen Body Work. Reg. 75 min. session - $30. Office close to downtown Burlington. Call Mary Clark, 657-2516. THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE: Swedish Esalen Body Work. Special intro rate. Gift certificates available. Call Karen Ross, 657-2573."

MASSAGE THE WAY IT'S MEANT TO BE. Private. Peaceful. Relaxing environment. Soak in hot tub before session to mellow your mind, warm your body. Sessions from $45. Certified therapist. Tranquil Connection, 654-9200.

SHIATSU/SWEDISH MASSAGE with Lara Sobel, licensed Massage Therapist. Helps circulation, aids digestion, supports immune system and relieves stress. Green Mountain Massage, 657-2519 or 223-3689.

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GUITAR LESSONS: All age levels & styles. Reasonable rates. B.A. in music, 5 years teaching exp. Call Josh Stacy, 658-1896.

psychics WHAT DIRECTION SHOULD you go??? Let a Psychic Help!!! Just call 1-900-267-9999 ext. 8113. $3.99 per min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U (619) 645-8438. WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU in the next few days??? Find out! Call 1-900-329-1045 ext. 7304. $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U, 619-645-8434.

massage EXPERIENCE THE ULTIMATE MASSAGE! Treat yourself or a friend to the incredible relaxation & effectiveness of exquisite oriental massage with JinShin Acupressure. Assists in stress relief, injury recovery and renewed vitality. Fantastic gift! Gift certificates available. $5.00 discount with ad. Call Acupressure Massage of Burlington, J. Watkins, 425-4279.

Looking for that special" employee?

TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep therapeutic massage. Reg. session: $40. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029. -i^KMOSMf}

December

Trust us, they're out there. And they're reading SEVEN DAYS.

Place your Help Wanted/Business Classified ad with us.

: <Mijjff.'s,

25-31

ARIZS

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): After hunting everywhere for the right metaphor for your fate in 1998, I found it in (of all places) a tabloid newspaper, The Sun. The editors there recently ran a story on a wart that was surgically removed from Elvis Presley's body in 1958. It seems artist Joni McCabe bought the valuable blemish at an auction five years ago. N o w there's a growing cry from fanatical fans to use it to clone the King, and have his duplicate performing again in Las Vegas by 2025. And how is this vignette an allegory for your future? I mean besides the fact that its oozing with the same humorous intrigue that you'll soon be experiencing? Get this, Aries: In the year to come, a blotch or stain from your past could play an important role in resurrecting one of your seemingly impossible hopes.

TAURUS

jec^e-mber. -2 2 1 , 9 97-,

sports/entertainment SPORTS NEWS, POINT SPREADS & much, much more!!! Call Now! 1-900-329-0673 ext. 4588. $2.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U, 619-645-8434.

PARCEL NO. 5: Lands and premises owned by Robert and Julie Robidoux. Huntington tax i.d. number 16030.

PARCEL NO. 11: Lands and premises owned by Gary Robert O'Brien. Huntington tax i.d. number 4410. PARCEL NO. 12: Lands and premises owned by Estate of John F. Reilly. Huntington tax i.d. number 33270. and so much of such lands and premises will be sold at public auction at the TOWN CLERK'S OFFICE of the Town of Huntington on the 23rd day of January, 1998 at 10:00 a.m. as shall be requisite to discharge such taxes with costs, unless previously paid. DATED at Richmond, Vermont this 26th day of November, 1997. Matthew J. Buckley, Esq., for Brent Lamourex, Tax Collector for the Town of Huntington

PARCEL NO. 6: Lands and premises owned by Lawrence and Jacqueline Taylor. Huntington tax i.d. number 4480. PARCEL NO. 7: Mobile home owned by Alan Ray. Huntington tax i.d. number 90380. PARCEL NO. 8: Lands and premises owned by Keith and Patricia Weaver. Huntington tax i.d. number 70354. PARCEL NO. 9: Lands and premises owned by Richard R. Dube and Lynn A. Butler-Dube. Huntington tax i.d. number 17110. PARCEL NO. 10: Lands and premises owned by Kim and Pauline Chamberlin. Huntington tax i.d. number 16010.

lUiSI astrology

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BY ROB BREZSNY+*

for you. And besides, you're the only one who truly knows how hard to push yourself. Having said all that, however, I must tell you this. If you are quite comfortable with the modest • success you've garnered, or if you would be queasy about confronting tougher competition, you should probably boycott my column in 1998. I plan to be exhorting you to heights of accomplishment you've never dared to dream of, let alone ask for before.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I'm secretly harboring a fantasy that sometime in 1998 you'll be able to slip away to a cottage in the Italian countryside for a few weeks and do nothing but read and write letters and take long walks and build fires in the fireplace. If you're not nursing the same fantasy, you'd better tell me: That way we can get on the same wavelength, which'll be crucial if we're going to combine our forces to translate your dream into reality. Please describe your vision of a thrillingly relaxing getaway, and send it to "Escape in '98," P.O. Box 150247, San Rafael, CA 94915. O r email me via the web at www. real astroIogy.com/.

(Apr. 20-May 20): "Can we twist God's arm to guarantee our own good fortune?" asks Catholic priest Sean Olaoire. "Can God be bribed, cajoled or tricked into granting us our will?" Ninety-nine percent of the time, Taurus, m y reply to those questions would be as follows: " O f course not, and anyone who thinks the answer s yes is a greedy, deluded egotist." However, I believe that during the next 12 months, there will be certain times when I'll be willing to reverse my opinion for you. Let me suggest, though, that if you do decide L € 0 (July 23-Aug. 22): According to lobby the Lord in behalf of your to research by a condom company, the selfish desires, they are identical t o the average North American has sex 148 selfish desires of at least two (and * tiroes a}^SKa»d does it for 24.8 preferably more than four) other minutes per session. If that's true, you people you care for. Leos living in the U.S. and Canada can expect to boink at least 200 times une 20): In f f f c f 1998.^Astrological indicators , I conclude that your slogan suggest it'll be one of the most ive been something amorous years on record for your M -like "We're not number one, but we're tribe, fat exceeding the erotic levels of »ght bp there!" And who am I to tell the other signs, (Only Scorpio might you thats not good enough? Maybe challenge your supremacy.) Since your ^ o n d or thittj best is a realistic goal typical frolic is also likely to exceed HRM

PARCEL NO. 1: Lands and premises owned by Richard L. Cabell. Huntington tax i.d. number 13045. PARCEL NO. Land and premises owned by Charles, Maybelle, Donald and Deanna Lawyer. Huntington tax i.d. number 22280.

fitness/training PERSONAL TRAINERS ARE NOT JUST FOR MOVIE STARS! We all want to be in good shape. Get yourself motivated with inhome training sessions. Julie Trottier, ACE certified personal fitness trainer. 878-2632. $25/hour.

NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and non-resident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of lands and premises in the Town of Hntington, County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are hereby notified that the taxes for the year 1995-1996 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following described lands and premises in the Town of Huntington, to wit:

half an hour, that means you'll probably make love for over a hundred hours in the next 12 months. Kudos!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I've got the perfect epigram to guide you through 1998. It's a quote from the Chilean poet Pablo Neruda. Memorize it. Write it in lipstick on your bathroom mirror. Ask your dreams to show you what it feels like in a hundred different ways. Most importantly, inscribe it in your heart so that it may become a beacon for those gorgeous creatures who're worthy of hearing it cross your lips — or of whispering it in your ear. Here's your magic formula: "I want to do with you what spring does to the cherry trees." LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Being on one's knees is usually considered to be an act of submission. But my sixyear-old daughter Zoe and her friend Katherine have mutated the posture into a boisterous sport. Using their Rollerblade pads as cushions, they gleefully scoot across the floor on their knees, holding their feet up behind

eet the in 1998. Let it ii situations which would normally ms humble or weak or embarrassed, and turn them into sources of exuberance and power,

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): M j Scorpio mom visited me recently, Seeing as how she's been a re^u conservative all her adult life, I surprised when she greeted me a sweatshirt bearing the slogan "Create Havoc." I asked her if she'd converted •;2| M

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to hedonistic anarchy, or was plotting to overthrow the government. "Nope," she replied. "I'm just ready to tinker with some of my own personal taboos." I interpret this to be a synchronicity that confirms my reading of the astrological omens for your tribe in 1998. In February, Jupiter will begin its leisurely year-long cruise through your House of Liberating Love. During that time, I imagine you won't need to remain anywhere near so fanatically faithful to your tired old traditions. You'll be inspired to create all the best kind of havoc.

because I'd be very happy if you brought more of the amateur spirit into every area of your life in 1998. More curiosity and frisky experimentation, please, and less know-it-all expertise! More fun and games and fewer Machiavellian plots!

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If | you've been aligned with your astrological destiny in 1997, you've experienced a growing inability to hear j yourself tell the same old stories over and over again. If you're attuned to your cosmic purpose in 1998, you will j shut your beautiful mouth every time j you feel the urge to reanimate the ponderous past. And that will in turn I set the stage for you to begin living out adventures that will provide fodder j for fresh new stories for years to come, j

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): Lets 21): In her brilliant book When Things see if we can drum up a few Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult metaphors to suggest what 1998 will Times, the Buddhist nun Pema bring for you Pisceans. Here are a few Chodron quotes an old Chinese sage. good possibilities: 1) You'll be like "Truth," he said, "is like a dog what happens when the cap is yearning over a bowl of burning oil. suddenly removed from a can of soda He can't leave it, because it is too that's been shaken up. 2) You'll b e like desirable, and he can't lick it, because a wrongfully-jailed prisoner who it is too hot." I bring this up, makes a daring escape and, before you Sagittarius, because I believe 1998 will can be recaptured, tracks down the be a year when seeking the truth will evidence that'll exonerate you. 3) bring you more rewards than questing You'll be like a dragon that wakes from ' anything a long accidentaljkp to find that / N o t only that: There will be thieves are about to make off with *L many times when that oil the Chinese ^treasure you were supposed ' to will merely be warm,

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negative connotation t" * remember that i t , [on word for l o v e r / Bjjjjjlll of the term is as follows: a who engages in a study, sport, or c activity for pleasure rather than for financial benefit or professional reasons." I mention this, Capricorn,

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THE VERMONT WOMEN'S Health Center specializes in comprehensive obstetrics and gynecology and is a participating provider with CHP, MVP & Blue Cross Blue Shield. 863-1386 for appt.

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leMenkrais A UNIQUE & DYNAMIC approach to the development of greater self-awareness, flexibility, power & precision in movement. Carolyn King, nationally certified in this method since 1987, teaches individual/group lessons. 434-5065.

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•Diminished Interest in pleasurable activities • Isolation • Fatigue • Increased or decreased sleep patterns • Negative thoughts » Feelings of worthlessness, guilt • Diminished ability to think, concentrate, make decisions • Irritable • Anxious « • Low self-esteem • Changes in appetite. ' ..." Juliana O'Brien L.I.C.S.W., M.Div. has worked extensively with persons suffering from depression anxiety. She combines task centered therapy, cognitive behavioral approaches, creative therapies and spirituality in her practice.

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Every year I tell myself 1 won't let the holidays get to me, but every year the stress builds to the point where J think Td like to just leave the country. This yean / have the added problem of my father's death in September. What can I do about this? O h , the weather outside is frightful, but it sure is preferable to the atmosphere at the mall right now. T h e Christmas rush seems to be one of those things, like automated phone systems and e-mail overload, that few people like but everyone keeps doing. Many people, like you, try to keep the fever pitch at bay but given our culture its hard to achieve this. And for someone experiencing a recent loss, such as a death or the end of a relationship or a divorce, the frenetic forced cheer can be particularly stressful, according to Barbara Kester, a Colchester psychologist. T h e holidays are notorious as a time of year when people who have experienced a recent death are particularly mindful of their loss. Anyone who is sad, lonely or grieving may feel particularly pressured by the emphasis on joy and cheer, Kester said. Because tradition is in full force during the holidays, we tend to remember days gone by with more tenderness than the rest of the year, and this can make the loss of a family member particularly acute. Its important, however, to remember that "grieving is a learning experience," Kester said. T h e first holiday season after a loss, you w o n t know what to expect, and you may be unsure about what to do. Bearing in mind that you're trying this our this year and learning how to cope can be helpful in itself, she said. As they say around Fenway Park, "there's always next year," You should also feel free to call on friends and family for help — don't try to hide your grief just because there's a guy on every corner yelling out, "ho, ho, ho." "Let others know what you need, and keep the festivities simple," Kester said. Include the grief in the holidays by remembering the person who died with special candle-lighting or story-telling. Even people who haven't had a recent loss tend to feel the mounting pressure at Christmastime, resulting from astronomical expectations that seem to soar higher as December wears on. Luckily, Kester has tips we can all benefit from: • Set some limits. Remember that you don't have to buy all the gifts you would like to, you don't have to attend every party, and you don't have to send cards to everyone you've ever met. • Keep the focus on fun and enjoyment. "There are so many things to do and plan that sometimes people forget the purpose of all the planning is to do what will really be fun." • Reflecting on the purpose of the holiday can help deflect the craziness of the rushing around, Kester said. For some people, this may mean focusing on the religious aspect of Christmas, while for others it may mean thinking about the importance of traditions. Thanksgiving until January 2 are especially stressful and make sure that you build relaxation into those days, whether through exercising, spending time alone, or just going to a movie. And remember, Christmas comes but once a year. (7) Neither Seven Days nor any practitioner quoted here may be held liable for any result of trying a new remedy, practice or product that is mentioned in this column. Please use common sense, listen to your body, and refer to your own health practitioner for advice. | Readers and practitioners are welcome to submit questions and suggestions for Health Q & A. Send to Seven Days, POB 1164, Burlington, VT 05402, or e-mailsevenday@together.net.

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64063

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SWPF, 35, WITH BEAUTY AND strength—who prefers living close to trees, paddling still ponds, walking in mountains, tending plants, watching birds, slow organic cooking, the language of all the senses—seeks SM, NS, 30-50, with kind heart, intelligent mind and body and passionate soul. 64923 SOPHISTICATED & FUN. Very attractive, adventurous, passionate, kind, cultured, healthy, fit, educated, well-traveled professional, 34, 5'7", who loves nature, outdoor recreation and the arts, seeks compassionate, secure man, 30-40, with similar qualities, without kids, yet. 64927 PASSION FOR LIFE—SWPF, 43. Do you like hiking peaks, kayak/sailing, biking or snowshoeing? How about dancing, theater, laughter, sunsets & full moons? Are you intelligent, progressive, honest, romantic, enjoy physical connection, 3545? I'd like to meet you. 64922 FPWWi, YOUNG 70ISH, 5'8", 130 lbs., active, likes good conversation, dining out, good books and music. ISO gentleman. 64916 FOUR WOMEN W H O TRAVEL TO the Burlington area for ballroom dancing are looking for male partners to join us. Have fun and meet nice people. 64915 SICK OF SKIING SINGLE... SWPF, 34, seeking someone special—smart, sporty, sensual, social, sassy, sensitive, serious, silly. In search of same (+) soulmate. Sound similar? 64898 INTELLIGENT, ATTRACTIVE SWF, 22, seeks fun-loving and caring SM, 21, for friendship and possibly more. Must like dancing, movies, comedy, and the occasional quiet times. 64905 SWF, 26, SEEKS FELLOW NPR junkie for listening to Prairie Home Companion and playing Scrabble on days of inclement weather. Knee-jerk liberals only, please! 64906 SWF, 26, SLENDER, FRIENDLY, attractive. Enjoys conversation, politics, literature, movies, outdoors and sports. Looking for SPM, 25-35, NS, ND, who has some of the same interests. 64599

CREATIVE SWF, 62, ATTRACTIVE, intellectual, enjoys the arts, travel and gourmet cooking. Seeks SM, 48-65, with similar interests, sincerity and energy, for fun and possible LTR. 64610 RECIPE FOR A RELATIONSHIP: Mix SPM & SWPF, 35, w/ outdoors, arts, books, travel, music. Sprinkle w/ laughter, understanding, conversation. Cover w/ chocolate. Bake. Serve w/ coffee. Enjoy. 64613 BROWN-EYED BEAUTY. DPF, 40'S, with passion for living. Intelligent, cultured, classy yet down-to-earth, loving, sensual, vivacious, artistic & spiritually minded. ISO educated, wise, communicative, financially/emotionally secure, playful, liberal M for LTR. Lets go to the Flynn, eat dinner at ethnic restaurants, travel, enjoy nature, share conversation, listen to music, and spend quiet, intimate times together. 64637 I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE. I see you every day—on your way to work, at the deli getting lunch. You're tall & handsome. Thirtysomething. I'm short, attractive, shy w/ those I don't know, but not w/ those I do. 64533 WEEKDAY SKI PARTNER WANTED. SPF, NS, attractive, in early thirties, ISO similar professional. Other hobbies include working out, motorcycling, playing the stock market, quiet evenings and travel. Gentleman should be taller than 5'8", attractive, comfortable in a pale pink dress shirt, fit and sensuous. 64538 SWPF, 29, SEEKING SWPM, 28-34, who has a sense of humor, enjoys outdoors, new adventures & sees the beauty of life's simple pleasures. 64466 RARE, WILD & CULTIVATED hybrid seeks above-average gardener, 40-50. This garden, begun in 1955, grows best w/ liberal application of music, merriment, magic & moxy. Appreciation of history, politics, VPR & books a +. Knowledge of horticulture not required. 64476

LULULJUJLL

PERSON

DON'T DRINK, SMOKE OR CHEW. Tall, slim, dark & alluring, fourthdimensional dance teacher. Listener/ mother. '60s child, '70s haze, '80s phoenix, '90s light. ISO sweet M who respects himself & has a clue. New Yorker preferred. All considered. 64477 SEXY SEEKS SENSITIVE, SOMEWHAT domineering guy. "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty." I'm all the others here are and more. Call, I'm yours. 64479 FISHERWOMAN SEEKS BIG FISH. The bait: 5'7" blonde peach, ripe & juicy. Give me a "bite."'No catch and release here. P.S.—Can tie fly. 64480 AFFECTIONATE, BRAINY, CAUSTIC, divorced, elegant (infrequently), fortyish, gainfully employed, hiker, irreverent, jocular, kind, loving, mother, nurse, opinionated (nobody's perfect), perceptive, quiet, responsible, simple, tall (5'9"), ugly (not), varied interests, witty, x-country skier, youthful, zealous. That's me from A to Z. You? 64482 • LOOKING FOR A BLONDE, LONGhaired, motorcycle god, 23-48, whom I can share intimate philosophy conversations with while cooking over a hot, sensuous fire. 64435 SWF, 30, ISO FRIENDSHIP to share experiences w/ a SWM, 29-36, who enjoys dining, movies & traveling. 64437 DOWN-TO-EARTH kind of gal ISO down-to-earth guy. DWF, 27, N D , honest, enjoys companionship, dancing, nature, laughing &C freedom. 64439 LOOKING FOR MR. TALL, DARK & handsome, 35-45, to sweep me off my voluptuous feet; that I may nuture him in my caring heart. 64436 FEMININE FEMINIST, 31, athletic and adventuresome, new to the area. I am ISO M companionship in northeast/central VT; for meetings of mind, spirit and body. 64446 SWF, 33, DARK-HAIRED, GREENeyed beauty, slim & educated, seeking SWM, 27-35. Must be attractive and loving. Serious relationship or friendship wanted. 64440

BROWN-EYED GIRL, 20, COLLEGE student seeking SWM to "Crash Into Me." Walks, candles, romance, N D , NS, possible LTR. 64447 I HAVE 3 CHILDREN A N D I'M interested in someone who likes Harleys, classic rock, loves children and likes to watch movies. Must be honest. 64448 TALL, INDEPENDENT, PAGAN snowboarder seeks man who doesn't fear children and buys his own postage stamps. Send photo; I'll recognize you from my dreams, sweetie. 64460 OFFERING & ISO CONSCIOUS love. Attractive, competent & loving WPF w/ reverence & a lust for life, youthful & energetic, NS/ND/NA, mid 40's, offering & ISO special person who also is open-hearted, highly conscious & insightful, can skillfully communicate w/ compassion & equanimity & is able to give & receive satisfying adult love. Are you fulfilled in work/life, financially/ spiritually stable/mature & interested in exploring caring partnership w/ LTR potential? I savor the beauty of human/nature, garden, healthy food. Love the mountains &C the lake. 64462 HONEST, INDEPENDENT DWF, 40, blue eyes/blonde, full-figured. Do you know the meaning of honesty, ethics, friendship? Can you say, "I like to dance & I don't mind country music," w/out laughing? Have a sense of humor? 64418 SWPF, 30, ISO ACTIVE SWPM, NS/ND, 29-36, for friendship, possibly more. Interests: outdoots, cultural events, books, good food, animals & quiet times at home. Interested in spending time w/ a whole, happy individual who has a sense of humor &c enjoys life. 64423 CAUTION, I'M TFIE O N E YOUR mother warned you about. SF, 52, slender, enjoys boxing, laughing, bacon, laughing, macabre humor, outdoors. Seeking comfortable, broad-shouldered, husky SM, any color. Spitters, belchers drunks, tobaccoists don't bother. 64406 LIVING IN MONTREAL. BPF, mother, very attractive, good sense of humor, Seeking professional or educated M, 3545, available for friendship. 64299 >

PERSON < TO > PERSON MEN

SEEKING

WOMEN

AFFECTIONATE, 57, BUT LOOKS younger—likes jogging, walking, music, reading—seeking slim, helathy woman w/ no dependent children, NS, 47-57, for very loving LTR. 64061 STRESSED? YOU NEED THE healing touch of a free massage from a young man with warm hands and a warm heart as a holiday treat. 64059 DWM, 41, SEEKING S/DWF, average looks & weight. Mind, attitude & humor more important than age. Me: tall, dark, slim, average looks, blue jeans, hardworking &C playing, very devoted one-woman man. You: sexy, devoted, yet occasional infidelity a +. Friend? Lover? Wife? 64058 HAPPY-GO-LUCKY, SUCCESSFUL DWPM, 6'1", 195 lbs., late 30 s, attractive, fit, looking for same. Sense of humor, playfully domineering, love wine, fire, blanket, you. Seeking S/DPWF, 2538. 64068 SEXPLORE WITH HEALTHY, FIT, energetic SBM, 31, ND, NA, NS, seeking healthy, attractive, fit SF, 19-39, for discreet, erotic fun, possibly more. All considered. 64069 SWM SEEKING SWF, 18-21, wouldn't mind having a relationship with a boarding student; listens to NYHC, ska, emo, and punk. Car a must. 64056 SWM, 27, MUSCULAR, NA, LIKES physical activities, outdoors, quiet times. Seeks same, 25-35, for sincere companionship, good times and hopefully more with the right woman. 64070 DWM, 56, 5'11", 160 LBS., SEMIretired. Enjoys movies, reading, running, ETV, NPR, politics and quiet times. Seeks lady, 45-55, with no dependents and is stable & loyal. 64072 WANTED: NS FEMALE CHARACTER, 24-30, for pivotal role in 1968 epic drama. Many scenes—outdoors, in coffee shops, at home. Casting couch is optional. 64073 WINTER COMES, ICE YET NOT SET. Snow falls lightly on spirit path as pragmatic abounds. Seeking F, 39 +, who enjoys gardens, dogs and Seinfeld. 64928 COWGIRL/FARM GIRL WANTED. DWM, young 40 s, 5'11", 170 lbs., NS/ND, handsome, fit, energetic, healthy, hard-working, loves country, ani mals, auctions, outdoors. ISO attractive, fit, smart, energetic country girl. 64929

GLIDING ATOP A FRESH blanket of snow through open meadows and snowy pine canopies on XC skis; relaxing by a crackling fire in a quaint bed & breakfast. Attractive SWPM, 35, ISO an attractive, fit, SWPF, 28-38, NS/ND to join me. Friendship or LTR. 64930 SEPARATED WM, 34, 6'4", Burlington area, slim and fit; loves the outdoors; likes dining out and movies. Non-drinker looking for slim, tall, attractive F, 21-32, with same interests. Must like children. 64931 GEORGEOUS PHYSICIAN, 40, lives in Jersey, frequents Burlington. Seeking beautiful woman, 25-50—friendship, laughter, music, wines. sensuality. I'm a playboy, but I'm good. 64925 GRAD STUDENT, 25, SWM, ISO attractive F, 20-50, to escape my studies with. No strings, just discreet, hedonistic fun! 64914 DWPM, 43, ENJOYS LAUGHTER, outdoors, cooking, dancing, theater, music. 5'7", 165 lbs., granola-head type, 2 daughters (enough!), NS, social drinker. Looking for woman who likes fun, uses head and heart. 64917 IT'S TOO COLD TO SPEND WINTER alone. Fit SWPM, 26, 57", 145 lbs. I'm an unattached, intelligent, independent, witty man who has nearly everything he wants in life—except for a twentysomething SWPF who shares these qualities. NS, ND. Don't be shy. Call! 64918 SWM, 20, 5'11", LOOKING FOR someone to take walks with and have a glass of wine in the moonlight. Love could be near. 64919 LOVE IS A GOOD THING. DWM, 5'9", 145 lbs., youthful 46, open-minded, secure, attractive. Likes outdoors, travel, adventure, photography, tennis, life, fun and romance. 64920 YEARNING TO SHARE THE PHYSICAL, emotional and spiritual connection and bring out the best in each other? I'm active, visionary, entrepreneurial, outdoorsy, and want to make everyday life an adventure. If you're a woman, in her 40 s, full of passion, zest and curiosity, let's connect. 64921 TWO TYPES ADVERTISE: NEEDY VS. SEARCHING. Rocky seeks Adrianne. Strong, gentle heart of gold ISO quiet, shy with fortune inside her head. NA twentysomething. 64811 MUSIC, MAGIC AND YOU. DWM, tall, proportionate, healthy, NS/ND, 40's, ISO same attractive lady for all life offers. 64813

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SWM, 27, 5'9", ATHLETIC, intelligent with great smile ISO attractive SF, 23-30, for dining, dancing and maybe romance. Winter alone is just no fun. 64833 WOODSTOCK: UNIQUE, ATTRACtive SWPCM, 32, part good 'ol boy, part Rolling Stone. Intelligent, yet stupid enough to want a LTR. Enjoy outdoor sports, music, slow dancing and romance. Seeking warm, honest, fun female. 64886 GARDENER SOUGHT! Vibrant, lone white birch tree, 29, previously cultivated in Asian soil (artistically landscaped university campus). This unique botanical specimen has recently been repotted in VT. Eager to grow, big! Gardener should love working/studying in foreign soils. Roots healthy, unentangled. 64901

Personal of the Week women seeking men

"HELLO. LL. BEAN? I'm looking at your college graduate, professional, funny, 6' male section. What? Yes, the one that's f i t , 35-40, loves cooking, mysteries, fixing things and will f i l l the 1ce cube trays will f i t this t a l l , si 1m, laughing beauty perfectly. Overnight delivery, please."

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COSMOS DINER 1110 ShclbumeRd. So. Burlington 651-5774

THUNDERBIRD RUMBLES. Polished body with muscle under the hood; new upholstery. Seeks a hot, vintage model for new destinations this winter. Let's explore the winter wonderland, smell the roasting chestnuts and tune the radio to the classics. 64908 FIRST-TIMERS. TWO ECLECTIC country gentlemen from Addison County looking for dinner companions in country home. We'll cook. Seeking educated, Fit, outdoor enthusiasts, 35-45. 64910 HI. PM, 28, 5'8", 160 LBS. I AM responsible, considerate, health-conscious and energetic. My interests are: running, skiing and volunteer work. Would like to meet a PF who is affectionate to share meaningful conversation, dreams and adventures. 64911 SWM, 23, BROWN HAIR, HAZEL eyes, 5'8", 150 lbs., real, honest, loving, warm heart, quiet, artistic. Enjoys outdoors, sun, moon, stars. Committed musician in a band. 64568 ORALLY PROFICIENT, YOUTHFUL, muscular, imaginative handyman, 36, in "Rut-Vegas," transportationally constricted, ISO solid, energetic, edible female, 25-45, for light, funky, hedonistic distractions, anytime. Wanna play? 64572 SEEKING CHEMISTRY. ARTISTIC, open-minded, intelligent, attractive and fit. SPM desires same in SF, 28-40, for possible LTR. 64580 SHY, HANDSOME YOUNG MAN, 20, ISO beautiful woman, 19-29, for erotic night of sexploration. Must be open-minded and like hotel rooms. 64638 GOOD LOOKING, THIRTYSOMETHING PM seeking slender, attractive F for adventurous adult fun. Experience preferred; discretion assured. 64647 DWM, 42, TALL, LEAN, BUSINESSman, runner, father, grounded, enlightened, evolving, humorous, ISO D/SWF to share laughter, learning, exercise, food, travel, life, intimacy. 64534 SWPM, 33, ROMANTIC, FIT, attractive. Enjoys: biking, weight-lifting, skiing, running, country music, dancing, movies, romantic walks, Sunday drives. Seeks: gal, 25-35, similar interests, slim, attractive, non-smoker. 64508

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TEMPUS FUGIT. Light-treading Kerouakian, 37, SWM, 6'1", 182 lbs., self-thinker, nature lover, ISO kind, natural F for sun, snow, peaceful times, NS, 5'4" +. 64514 DWM, 43, 6'2", 195 LBS., JUST AN average guy, looking for the love & affection of caring and sensual female. Must believe in love at first sight, be uninhibited, spontaneous and willing to give of themselves. Northwest, please. Will answer all (Ma, D or S). 64509 NO STRINGS, JUST FUN. DWM, 38, tall, handsome, well-built stud seeks attractive woman, any age, for hot evening fun. Discretion if needed. 64523 CITY BOY, SMOKER, SEEKS concrete jungle-type Erodite with own gyroscope for LTR. You be attractive, habit-forming, restless, cultural animal, 33-41. Me: semi-professional-type with extras: open, humorous, visual thinker &c doer. 64527 SW NON-PROFIT PM, 30, 5'8", with kind heart, humble soul, generous spirit and sharp mind seeks loving partnership w/ SF, 28-32, NS, non-materialistic, deconstructionist, ecofeminist w/ healthy habits, patient will, agile body & sensitive touch, who likes dogs, outdoors and, yes, long walks on the beach. 64535 SPM, SOON TO BE A YOUNG 44, ISO F, 30-45, to enjoy outdoor (skiing, cycling, water) and indoor (dining, music, movies) activities, 5'11", 180 lbs., blue/brown. 64504 OUTDOOR ORIENTED, thoughtful DWPM without children,sense of humor, 44 and fit, ISO well-adjusted, easy-going, NS, athletic F in 30's who desires family in next 3-5 years. X-C skiing, hiking, dancing, reading, quiet times. Carry-on baggage usually fits. Middlebury area; can travel. 64484 THERE'S MORE TO LIFE. SWM, 30, fit, enjoys music, poetry, cooking, seking serious woman for serious play and intelligent conversation for knowledge, not social prestige. Libido. 64486 LET'S HIT THE SLOPES TOGETHER. DWPM, 42, seeks ski bunny to enjoy everything winter has to offer. Let's have fun in the white stuff. 64468 LOW BUDGET. Decidedly non-prof., average looking, tortured genius, 33, ISO Jane Fonda/Raquel Welch type, 53-58, for spontaneous combustion. 64438 HAPPY, UNIQUE, QUIET, eccentric, worldly SWM, 25, wants to meet simple, interesting people. Interests: photography, hiking, music, beer, dancing, art, travel and moonlit laughter. 64442 WPM, 23, N E W T O VT, looking for WF. Are you adventurous? Are you willing to help me enjoy myself in VT? Let me know. 64443 DO YOU HIKE inthe mtns & canoe in the streams? Are you a PWF, NS, w/ a 30-something dream? Then listen to the birds & listen to the trees, because out in nature is where you'll find me. 64464 GENETICALLY DEPRESSED, vasectomized introvert (with sense of humor), 32, seeks tolerant, adventurous F for MTV Sports/PlanetX lifestyle. My plusses: I sew, build custom snowboards & treat cool women like goddesses. Next summer, motorcycles, rock climbing? Please help. Show her this ad. 64452 BLONDES ARE FIRE & ICE. ISO blonde F w/ average build, brains, personality and sparkling eyes. Sought by tall, blue-eyed, intelligent SWM, 41, who can promise you the sun, moon, stars and deliver. 64454 DWPM, 36, 6'3", ENJOYS A WIDE variety of interests. Sometimes crazy, sometimes shy, active, fit, very attractive guy (no kids, yet). ISO you! F, NS, 29-, 35, as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. 64463 CENTRAL VT DWM, 43, 5 8", 145 lbs. I love my faith, dog, job, home & 1 woman. Guess which one is missing. What's missing in your life? 64428

WOMEN S E E K I N G

WOMEN

MaBiCURIOUSF, 31, BLONDE/ blue, attractive, thin, professional, seeks woman, 23-40, for casual friendship and fun. Discretion appreciated and given. 64060 I'M SGWF, 23, SMOKER, MOTHER of two looking for a SGWF, 21-35, who enjoys the outdoors, candle-light dinners, going out and children. 64062

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LOOKING FOR YOUNG, CARING, sensitive, uninhibited, attractive human, 21-32, to explore life, nature and love! Lets keep each other warm this winter1" 64666

SWGF, 25, FUN-LOVING redhead. Enjoys movies, talks & being outdoors. ISO similar for friendship/LTR. 64410

MEN S E E K I N G MEN

MaBiCURIOUSFl^'TimBSTs^b woman for friendship and possibly more. Enjoys skiing, hiking, long walks, good food and wine. Let's meet for coffee. Discretion important. 64560. GWF, 31, LOVES MOVIES, READ ING, writing & music, ISO GWF, 3035, feminine, emotionally & financially together. Let's make our dreams come true! 64497 SWF, AUBURN/BLUE, 33, 5'2", MOM. Intelligent, attractive, professional, honest, funny, artistic, contented, evolving woman with a realistic & positive world view seeks same. 64481 NEW TO THIS LIFESTYLE. WF, 5', 130 lbs., 29, petite, blonde, feminine, would like to experience w/ other women seeking feminine women only. Must be attractive, outgoing, 25-35. Discretion very important. 64285

IF YOU WANT TO WRITE A personal ad that is funny, clever, romantic and open-minded, but couldn't think of what to write, then answer this one! I'm a GWM, tall, blonde, a good listener and clever (but not too clever). 64810 BiM, NEWLY SEPARATED, IS seeking friendship and adventures for possible LTR. Enjoys the arts, exercise and caring contact. Ask me, I'll answer. 64909 LET 'S BRING IN THE NEW YEAR together. GM, 38, artist, NS, lightdrinker. Interests: spirituality, literature, films, hiking. ISO GM, 23-48. 64582 GWM, LATE 30kS, 150 LBS., 5 V , muscular. ISO in-shape Bi/GM, 18-45, for interlude. No strings. Discreet. 64513 GUM, 6', 160 LBS., SUPERIOR body, intense lover of nature, explorer of internal/external dimensions, seeks intimate union w/ fearless adventurer who is not afraid to be ecstatic, to own his wholeness & the power of love. Will you join in? 64519 RUTLAND, CITY SGM, 37, 6', 185 lbs., NS/ND, energetic, open-minded, hard-working, joyful, ISO GM, 18-37, for friendship and/or relationship. Physically disabled O.K. No smokers/ drinkers, please. 64487

BURLINGTON BEAR LOOKING for LTR. Smoker, social drinker, big hairy guy looking for Mr. Right. You: in good shape mentally, preferably out and not feminine. Need a top man willing to be my partner in life. 64055 WIRY, YOUNG, QUEER GUY WITH phat beard and wild hair dreaming of a sweet, sexy man who believes in magik & revolution. I love gettin' mello, reggae, gardening, good food and wilderness. I hate the government, deodorant and Wal-Mart. ISO a kindred spirit. 64071 HEY, FOOTBALL FANS! GWM, ALLAmerican, 6'4", 210-lb. QB needs TE or WR to complete big play. Must be in shape, 25-45, and coachable! 64926 WHAT'S THE 411? GWM, "carzy, sexy, cool," 18, loves dancing, music, hanging, 5'4", 150 lbs., br./br. ISO sincere GM, 18-25, who's down 4 whateva. 64696

GWM, 37, IN SHAPE, ISO GM who considers it possible to have successful togetherness while having open relationship. 64467 FRANKLIN COUNTY, DGWM, 34, masculine, 57", blnd/brn, 150 lbs., smoker, partier, sports-minded, demented humor, ISOfit,masculine partner w/ attitude for possible LTR, 32-38. 64469 WEIGH THE OPTIONS! Handsome, heavy-set, sensual, spiritual, loving GPWM, 34, seeks like-minded GPM for companionship. Beauty comes from within—show me your heart. 64441 BiWM, 42, CLEAN, HONEST, sincere, seeks other Bi/GM (Burl./Rutland area) for discreet fun & friendship. 64457

WC, 40'S, FOR M OR F, 30-45, interested in sharing new ideas and fantasies. Enjoy travel, dining and golf. 64584

I SPY SAILBOATS, SCULLS, MOTORCYCLES, turbines and Nepalese hats. Your toys intrigue me. You intrigue me! Please be patient, and know that I secretly adore you. 64067 I D I D N T GET YOUR NAME. We sort of met at Anastasia, 12/12, 7:15 p.m. show. Your five-year-old son, Willy, was "flirting" with my daughter, Jennifer. 64932

OTHER IN SEARCH OF...AN ATTRACTIVE BiF for my girlfriend. She is 5'9 1/2", dark hair and blue eyes. WAnts someone sexy and sensual to help her tease me and experience pure ecstacy. Discretion and disease free a must. 64924

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l To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response In an envelope, write box # on the outside and place 1n another envelope with $5 for each response and address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS. P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

i ' 1 w\' /

WPF, 46, NS, 5'2", CURLY BROWN hair, native New Yorker, physician, mother. I enjoy skiing, dancing, dining out, theater, talking, life. ISO WPM, 44-54, who wants good company and to try some or all of the above with me on both sides of the lake. Box 225 DR. LAURA-WQULE> APPROVE! PCSWF, 33, ISO PCSWM, 30-40; friends first. Likes outdoors, quiet times and fun, too! For LTR eventually. Pic/letter, please. Box 226 SWF ISO SM, 21-30—SENSE OF humor, sense of cuddles & conversation, willingness to break the ice, spend time being playful or simply listening. Box 224 DWPF, 39, NS, SENSITIVE A N D gen uine, very attractive, loves working out, the outdoors, dancing, movies, quiet, romantic evenings. ISO handsome, fit D/SWPM, 34-41. Photo appreciated. Box 220 SWF, ND, 40'S, ATTRACTIVE, FIT, " enjoys working out, travel and romantic dinners. Light smoker ISO M, 40-50, with similar interests. Box 219

YOU? LICK. SEXY? NIBBLE. 20'S? Laugh. Animalistic? Touch. Hedonistic? Caress. Hotty? Lap. Available? Girate. Experienced? Exhale. Adventurous? Perma-grin. Me? Cute, married, willing. Picture, please. Box 221 MISTRESS FOR YOU? Are you a passionate, professional, financially able gentleman, 50+, who'd enjoy weekly, discreet rendezvous? Extremely attractive, sensual, articulate SWF, 31, awaits. Box 222 COLLEGE WOMAN TIRED OF BOYS ISO an intelligent, attractive and fun man, 20-25. This intelligent and happy 20 YO desires friendship and possibly more. Box 216 ATTRACTIVE PROFESSIONAL with realistic expectations seeks energetic man in his 60 s for good conversation and high adventure. I offer integrity, sophistication, intelligence and an occasional impulse to cook. Interests include books, films, theater, music, tennis, skiing, hiking, politics, old houses and new ideas. And you? Box 213 HOLIDAYS APPROACHING! DWF, 38, seeking S/DWM, 40's, must be honest, romantic, humorous, playful & serious; like children, movies, walks, sunsets. Send letter & photo. Box 208 DWPF, 47, LIGHTLY STOMPING existential pathway, enjoying irony and beauty, welcomes seriously goofy M to share some space, music, nature and crayons. Boldly go! Box 204 S1R1K1NG BRUNEI IE, 5'7", 30'S, A ~ bit strange, but in a good way. Loves swimming, dancing, alternative music, movies, reading, animals. ISO SM for friendship, romance, future. Must like cats & my sister (she said I had to put that in!). Send Ietter/photo/fingerprints/dental recs. Box 184

DISTINGUISHED, SUBMISSIVE gentleman, 50,fit,successful, well-to-do, ISO complimentaryfitw/ classy, sensual, commanding woman who enjoys being in charge, waited on and pampered by compliant, unburdening man who enjoys your domestic & personal chores & truly pleasing &c supporting you. Box 232 HOT, SEXY WOMAN WANTED. Knock-out, GQ handsome, SWM, 26, successful, sharp-minded entrepreneur, 6'2", dark complexion, broad shoulders, hard body seeks healthy, beautiful, erotic, curvaceous, NS SWF, 20-32, lover who has an "Energizer bunny" libido, which keeps going...and going!...who lusts for sizzling hot exhibition & who secretly craves over-the-top erotic adventures in the finest...bikinis, lace, silk, leather, fishnet, boots, heels & more. I'm healthy, safe & straight-forward. I'm looking to enjoy the best in Kama Sutra, Tantric & kink w/ a hot, soft & sultry woman goddess who wants to satisfy her desire w/ a passionate, honest, very well-built, very handsome guy...who has experience without the mileage. If this woman is you, let me know w/ your letter & photo. Won't be disappointed! Live much! Box 231 IRREVOCABLE ECOLOGIST SORT seeks same for philosophical intercourse & possible LTR. Partial to habitat on the west end of Champlain Basin Bioregion. Pantheist okay. Beauty & brains acceptable. Healthy humor a must. Late 30s w/ fashion attitude preferred. Activist—perfect. Box 233

FROM MONTPELIER (LAKE Champlain for half the year): N S / N D DWPM, good-looking, athletic, multidimensional, independent, secure, honest, kind, generous, adventurous, humorous, fun. You: good-looking, 40ish, similar. Box 230 M, 39, 165 LBS., 6 \ DISENCHANTED with decent, responsible, celibate lifestyle, seeking mischievous F party animal for occasional, discreet afternoon fun and friendship. Box 228 SWM, 35, NECROPHILIAC W I T H — Oedipus complex seeks F, 18-25, for simulated post-mortem outrages, bedtime stories, etc. DeSade seeks Ms. Von Sacher-Masoch. Box 227 THIRD SHIFT BLUES. DWPM, 41, 6'1", 170 lbs., NS/ND, quiet, good looking, nice. ISO F, 30-40, NS,fit.Like kids. Send picture. Can't wait. Box 225 DWPCM, 49, DEAF AND BRIGHT, ISO outstanding Christian woman who's sane, secure and fun to be with. At minimum, basic knowledge of Deaf culture and sign language are essential for lifelong of hiking, soft music and dining out, to name just a few. Write. It takes only a spark to get a fire going. Box 218 I'M AS DIFFERENT AS YOU! Educated, Catholic intellectual with a shy, loving, sincere heart and taste for good music, conversation, dining and laughter, ISO F, 25-33 or so. First letters, then friends, then heaven. No feminists or NPR listeners, please. Box 215 SKIING, BALLROOM DANCING partner. SWPM, NS, ISO good downhill & x-c skier, 45-55, who would also consider ballroom dancing lessons. Box 214

HI. 45 YO FLOWER CHILD ISO Piscean beauty. Start new tribe, Richmond. Back to land, happy camper, honesty, looks, total respect for all beings. Peace. Box 209 ARI 1ST, TENDER-HEARTED, phiiosophically challenged, likes rowdy nights at home; scared of long romantic walks. Hates to be obedient. Has email. Prefers attractive New Yorker (30's). Box 210 ELEGANT GENTLEMAN. DWPM, 50, tall, slim, classy, attractive, seeking sincere, honest, educated lady for quality LTR only. No games. Box 211 WHIPS A N D CHAINS KEPT IN good condition? Always read Kant's "Critique of Pure Reason" naked? SWM, slightly fiftysomething, in long-distance shape. Box 205

• Wm I S i l l jJliig

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CURIOUS F, 20, SEEKING CLEAN, attractive F, 18-25, for discreet, sensual fun. Please send picture/letter. Box 217

READY FOR IT. GM, 40, ISO MAN with integrity, 35-50, for LTR. Interests: culture, causes, nature, spirituality. Your respect gets mine. Box 229 SAFE & CLEAN WM, WHO IS VERY discreet and sincere, invites masculine, muscular men to share morning coffee and essential exercise at my place. Box 201

5 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can onlv h P contacted by letter. Send letter along wI $5 to PO Box 1 1 6 4 B u r l i n g t o n VT 0 5 4 0 2

bve in cyberspace. Point your web browser to http://www.wizn.com/7days.htm to submit your message on-line.

Person to Person

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1997

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find a junior high girl or boy night rum and hard cider bout ding fair to become the new anywhere in the state who that probably killed him. bible for serious match-theContinued from page 13 wouldn't enjoy As Long as There Vermont school and public hatch trouters. Are Mountains, a wonderful Though I quit hunting deer libraries alike should all purAstonishingly, Lincoln's Chris '50s-era saga of a Northeast chase a Christmas copy of nearly two decades ago, I'll be Bohjalian, Brattleboro's Archer Kingdom farm family's struggle Joseph C. Nelson's new giving Richard Nelson's magMayor, Putney's Craig Nova to stay on the land by New nificent Heart and Blood: Living Spanning Time: Vermont's and Middlebury's Jay Parini England Book Awardwith Deer in America and Julia Alvarez have all pubNatalie Kinseywinner (just off the press from lished highly praised novels in Warnock Knopf) to several deer1997, any one of which can be hunting family memcounted on to make a holiday enre fiction, anybers and friends. Heart season "Green Mountain one? Three quick and Blood abounds Thaw" — three feet of snow tips: Vermonters with interesting inforand a hell of a blow — downwho, like me, love the mation. I learned, for right delectable. American West will instance, that most of have all kinds of fun Vermont's current deer or my Vermont hunting with Eileen Clarke's The population stems from and fishing buddies, I've Queen of the Legal got three sure-fire winners just 17 animals Tender Saloon released near Rutland on order. Fly-fishers and bait(Greycliff), a terrific in 1878. More imporfishers alike will roar over modern Western. Fans tantly, the book Robert Lee's hilarious first of romance fiction will abounds with the pernovel, Guiding Elliot (The be wowed by K.C. sonal experiences and Lyons Press), which chronicles McKinnon's non-tradia summer of high misadventure reflections of a keenly tional love story, observant man who's in the life of an immensely likDancing at the Harvest spent a lifetime in the able Montana trout guide Moon, in which a feisty woods. What's more, named Donnie Phillips. While fortysomething woman Nelson's a superb the fishing scenes are terrific, named Maggie its also a story about the end of writer. Mclntyre returns to How about an era, in Montana and wherTo Vermonters, living at the the north woods of younger Vermont ever else our trout waters are her youth to resolve readers? Michael being threatened. Reading it, I northern extremity of the same some unfinished busiHahn's classic kids' kept thinking about the ness with her first mountain chain where Charles biography, Ethan impending sale of more than flame. Thriller buffs Allen, from 100,000 acres of my favorite Frazier's book takes place. Cold and students of serious Shelburne's New trout-fishing territory, in Essex I fiction alike will want Mountain seems to have a England Press, conCounty, Vermont. to read Gabriel tinues to delight kids For a close family member special significance. Everett's A Story of in the eight to 12 who happens to be a "purist" Scorpions (Fawcett) in range. A dyed-in-thefly fisherman — who'd rather a well-lighted room — during Covered Bridges, also published wool Vermonter himself, Hahn renounce angling altogether broad daylight! With a double by the New England Press; the pulls no punches about Allen's than stoop to threading a murder, a rape, a prison riot color photograph alone are prodigious boozing habits, crawler onto a hook — I've priceless. And I'd be amazed to and an unanswerable paradox including the rip-roaring allplaced an order for Mayflies

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

at its heart, it's the most horrific book I've read since The Silence of the Lambs. . To return now to Frank Trapp, the grandfather whose library I still consult daily, and in whose memory I write under my full name: Among his favorite books was a matched set of 20 or so different titles, bound in battered green covers, which first he, then my mother, and now I have read many times. One of the novels in this set happens to be my all-time favorite: a book that was read to me several times as a boy and that I read several times to my own son and daughter when they were children, usually during the holiday season. This great story reads out loud as well as any ever written; and it contains many of the themes of the other books on my 1997 gift list. It begins on Christmas Eve, and if you've already guessed that Charles Dickens wrote it, you're right. Unlike Dickens' A Christmas Carol, however, this story doesn't contain a sentimental word, though at its heart is the good will toward all men that characterizes nearly every great book ever written. I'm thinking, of course, of Great Expectations. That's what I have for your holiday reading and mine — great expectations — during this truly remarkable year for good books, in Vermont and far beyond. ®

(GreyclifF, $49), which is bid-

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