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SEVEN, DAYS ft'* ' «- ' ' ,
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questio W hat d o es Sanl d o w ith a ll th a t r e in d e e r p o o p ?
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He sends it to Los Angeles, where it becomes the next year's Hollywood screenplay. — Joseph Bookchin Director of Film & Video Production, Burlington College Burlington
Fuel. J — John Nicholls Junior at Bellows Free Academy Montgomery
CONSCIENCE NEEDED I’d like to add my exasperated view to that of Peter Kurth’s recent words [Crank Call] in Seven Days regarding the socalled investigation of the President. Last week the Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee drafted articles of impeachment against President Clinton without even waiting for Clintons defense to complete its presentation. Those who thought this esteemed body would withhold its judgment until after heating all the Presidents arguments were mis taking this process for justice, instead of what it is: politics, from start to finish. When the Republicans gained control of Congress in 1994, they set loose the Independent Counsel on the Clinton White House. When their first choice, Robert Fisk, wasn’t partisan enough for them, they had him replaced with Kenneth Starr, who had already done what he could to help the Paula Jones’ lawyers in their politically motivated civil suit against Clinton. Failing to find evidence of wrong-doing by the President in Whitewater and all of its permutations, Starr finally had to use his connection with Lindajripp,and her illegally ob|ainecf tapes- of Monica to set the President up for his friends on the Jones legal team. Then Mr. Starr — who witnessed nothing relating directly to the
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actions of the President — became virtually the only witness called by the House Judiciary Committee. Why? Because real witnesses might have mucked up the pretty little package their gofer, Mr. Starr, presented them with. Among the charges against the President is abuse of power, but the only abuse of power I see is that being exercised by the Republican leadership, who are trying to remove from office a man that has been elected twice by the people of this nation, and even today enjoys unprecedented approval. These Republicans have promised a vote based on conscience. For the good of this nation and its political process, I can only hope they develop a conscience before this farce goes any further. — Steve Zeoli Burlington SHAPE SHIFTERS Thanks to Pamela Polston for the great piece on Social Band [Notes From History,” December 8], Burlington’s new a cappella chorus. The group is off to a great start! A small correction: Social Band is not the first group in Burlington to promote and sing early American “shape-note” music. Other area groups (including the UVM Choral Union) have performed and recorded this music. Most importantly, the true participato ry shape-note singing tradition
e w
Y
in n e r
e a
S
r
’
s
E
has been thriving here for many years. Once a month, on a Sunday afternoon, a lively, strong group of singers gathers to sing from the Sacred Harp (a collec tion of shape-note songs) for the sheer pleasure of it. New singers are welcome. The next sing will take place on January 10; call 658-5713 for information on the location. — Liz Thompson Burlington ON THE RIGHT W ING Will Peter Kurth, Bernie Sanders and the congressional Democrats now propose that all the people be immune to present laws against sexual harassment and discrimination in the work place, or just President Clinton? Since they believe that perjury in such “insignificant” matters does not reach the constitutional bar of “treason, bribery and other high crimes and misdemeanors,” will they propose the abrogation of present federal statues which make punishments for perjury more severe than punishments for bribery? Do they really believe that the president and his supporters in Congress would finally move on campaign, health care, social security, work ers’ wage and corporate tax reform if only the idea of hold ing Cljnton accountable to the law like the rest of us were.jtist ?!-: laid aside? I at least have the privilege of imagining that the new war on
Iraq and the overwhelming sup port it has received, despite man ifest violations of constitutional principle and the War Powers Act, will help them see that all sides of the present impeach ment controversy are on the right wing of the American political spectrum. At any rate, Mr. Kurth has confessed, “I don’t care if the president stays or goes” [Crank Call: “Power to the ...Parliament?” December 16], and take this to signify that Peter’s historical and tempera mental incapacity to appreciate parliamentary style government is not as strong as it was at the beginning of the Jones-Lewinsky affair. — John Shaplin Burlington Letters P o lic y: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 250 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in Seven Days. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164. fax: 865-1015 e-mail: sevenday@together.net
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imposed on federal judges in the Great American Jihad. That’s what a federal appeals court judge in At present, Sessions’ nomination isn’t going New York asked recently as he heard arguments anywhere. Our Capitol Hill source says the on an appeal of a sentence handed down in a commission is doing very little in the way of Vermont drug case. Luis Tejada and Ramon productive work these days. “It’s all bollixed up,” Frias, both Dominicans, were busted by the says our source. Vermont Drug Task Force in the summer of Vice-Presidential Moments — Vermont’s gover 1996. They brought two ounces of cocaine up nor, Howard Dean, and Bill Clinton’s back-up, from Massachusetts to deliver to a Winooski A1 Bore...sorry, Gore...were all sweetness and buyer. Stashed the goods in Oakledge Park light last week during their 15-minute before the deal went down. Tejeda pled guilty Washington love fest that was made available to and got two years and three months to serve. the Vermont press over the phone lines. But the government wanted to Unfortunately, the press could throw the book at Frias. only listen in. No questions. Assistant U.S. Attorney (AUSA) Let’s just hope setups like this Gregory Waples asked Judge don’t replace Dean’s weekly William Sessions to treat the press conferences, which defendant as a “career offender” wouldn’t be any fun at all because of prior convictions in without the questioning. state court in Massachusetts for The topic for the White assault and possession, crimes House phone-in was health for which he received two 90care and a federal waiver day sentences. Lock him up and Gore supports that will allow throw away the key, said the Vermont to do even more to government. take care of kids in the land Give me a break! said his of Drs. Dean and Dynasaur. attorney, Mark Kaplan. Frias It was a total love fest. may not be “a model citizen,” he Little Ho-Ho and Big Al were argued in court documents, but positively kissy-face. The he was just a low-level mule. Veep highlighted Ho-Ho’s Kaplan raised a number of rea physician past and sang his sons why Frias should get praises. You’d think they were “downward departure” from the best buddies. mandatory sentencing guide But just one year ago, lines, such as the relatively small Howard walked into Big Al’s amount of cocaine he was BY PETER FREYNE White House office and caught with, the lenient sen broke the news that tences he’d received in his priors, his “stable fam Vermont’s governor was exploring a presidential ily relationship” (even though he’s separated bid in 2000. It was the funniest thing Gore had from his wife and kids), the fact that he faces heard since Bill told him about what he liked to deportation as an illegal alien, and the fact that do with Cuban cigars. his cohort received a light sentence for the same The Gore-Dean tete-a-tete broke on the front crime. We’re not talking big-time drug dealers page of The Wall Street Journal. Great national here, folks. exposure for Ho-Ho. ’Course Inside Track has Much to Mr. Waples’ consternation, Sessions been covering Ho-Ho’s presidential quest all year agreed with Kaplan.5 with regular Dean Watch 2000 updates. ' “In regard to what the court feels is the But with the White House cat completely major issue, whether the career offender status out of the bag, Ho-Ho’s Boston polling firm was over-represents the defendants’s criminal history finding a little problem with the Vermont elec and likelihood of reoffending, the Court feels it torate. A lot of folks who like Howard Dean does,” said Sessions. “I disagree with Mr. didn’t fancy him running for President. He got Waples, although I don’t often disagree with Mr. the message. Waples, but I do in this particular case.” The Officially Ho-Ho stopped running for judge said he did not believe Congress had peo President. But in politics as in any other profes ple like Ramon Frias in mind when they passed sion, the real stars never stop shining. And today the “career offender” statute. Instead of 18 years, in the Age of Fornigate, when Big Al looks Sessions sentenced Frias to 51 months. down at Howard Dean, he sees a potential viceThe government did not concur. Hardly. president cleaner than clean. Stronger than dirt. AUSA Waples did not return our phone calls, O f course, he could always get somebody but in court documents he charged that Judge taller. As long as they don’t smoke cigars. Sessions had “abused his discretion.” In a rare When Ho-Ho returned to the Green occurrence, the U.S. Attorney’s office appealed Mountains he was spitting fire and brimstone at the sentence handed down by the U.S. District the right-wing Republican impeachers of our Court judge. And following a hearing in the Big stud-muffin President. In fact, following last Apple, the federal appeals court agreed. weekend’s nationally televised throw-up party, “In sum,” concluded the ruling from the more folks than ever have had enough of the 2nd Circuit, “the district court incorrectly Christian Coalition and the Radical Right. applied the Guidelines by downwardly depart Clinton’s never been more popular. Can’t wait ing...In light of the foregoing, we conclude that for the next election. the district court abused its discretion; accord Mayor’s Race Update — Republican Kurt ingly, we vacate the judgment and remand for Wright told Inside Track Monday he was resentencing.” delighted with last week’s campaign kick-off The ball’s back in Sessions’ court. Sentencing “The first week of the campaign was a home is pending. run,” said Kwik Stop Kurt. But one thing he Though Waples wouldn’t talk to Inside didn’t want to discuss was Clinton’s Track, his boss, U.S. Attorney Charlie Tetzlaff, Impeachment. did. As for the frequency of appeals his office “It’s not an issue in this campaign,” said has filed over “light” sentences, he said, “We Wright. “I’m not a member of Congress.” don’t do a lot of them.” Why so silent? After all, Kurt publicly called As to whether or not he believes Bill Sessions for Clinton’s resignation long ago. is a “rogue judge,” Tetzlaff replied, “No, I do Mayor Peter Clavelle, however, does have a not.^ position. It sucks! “Mayors of cities large and That’s a relief. Because the senior Democrat small,” said Clavelle, have a “shared conclusion.” on the Senate Judiciary Committee, Patrick Impeachment will result for all practical purpos Leahy, has'recommended to the President that es in a government shutdown. He noted Judge Billy be nominated to fill one of the seven Burlington voters supported Clinton in 1992 vacancies on the U.S. Sentencing Commission. (60 percent) and 1994 (65 percent). “I will be The commission has become one focal point in outraged,” said Clavelle, “if a highly partisan the battle over the fallout from the mandatory Congress overturns the will of the people.” ® minimum sentencing rules Congress has
“Rogue Judge” in Vermont?
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Mensa Reject of the Week Acting on a college class mate’s dare, Jason Warren Allen, 20, swallowed dozens of over-the-counter caffeine pills, equivalent to 250 cups of cof fee. Authorities in Morehead, North Carolina, said Allen died the next day of heart rhythm irregularities.
Oops! Salomon Smith Barney lost “several million dollars” on 10year French government-bond contracts in July after the price plunged when the firm offered to sell 14,500 bond contracts. The Wall Street Journal report| ed that buyers eagerly bought 10,000 of the bonds before the firm discovered the mysterious sell order was caused by one of its traders on the Paris exchange floor, who inadver tently rested his arm on a computer’s “Instant Sell,” sending repeated orders. • A German finance house lost $16 million in November when one its London traders pressed the wrong computer key. According to the London Daily Telegraph, the junior trader was training on what he thought was a simulated soft ware program and posted an offering of 130,000 German bonds futures contracts, worth at least $19 billion. Before the
trader realized heTiad pressed the wrong button and entered the system for actual dealing, buyers snapped up the con tracts.
Hanczuk observed, “You can get hit by that, or you cah get hit by a Toyota pickup truck, and the effect will be pretty much the same.”
Look Out Below
The Future of Nicotine
Katsutoshi Miwata, 53, the chief scout of Japan’s Orix Blue Wave baseball team, jumped to his death from the 11 th story of an apartment in Naha, Okinawa, after he failed to sign the team’s top draft pick, high-school pitcher Nagisa Arakaki, who said he preferred to play for another team. • After failing to kill himself with poison, Amornthep Kongkham, 26, succeeded on the second try by diving off the sixth floor of a hospital in Thailand’s Samut Sakorn province. Police said Amornthep killed himself because his wife would not let him keep the two women he brought home with him, even when he insisted that they, too, were his wives. • Conrad Buchanan, 26, a Los Angeles security guard, broke his neck trying to catch a woman who jumped off the top of a six-story parking garage. The woman died any way. Noting the immense force of impact from a body falling several stories, Los Angeles police Sgt. Dave
The annual conference of the Society for Neuroscience, meeting in Los Angeles in November, featured presenta tions by researchers working to capitalize on the benefits of nicotine. According to The Washington Post, the research, which has resulted in what Duke University’s Jed Rose called “a virtual explosion of new findings on every level,” was stimulated by the observa tion some 10 years ago that smokers suffered less from cer tain diseases. The trick is to come up with compounds that will act specifically. “It’s just what we would call a ‘dirty drug,”’ said Phyllis C. Pugh, a nicotine researcher at the Medical College of Ohio. “It has too many effects.” • German pilots urged their airlines to cut down on the growing number of “air rage” attacks by giving passengers nicotine. Noting that frustra tion over no-smoking rules was a leading cause of in-flight disturbances, Georg Fongern, spokesperson for the leading German pilots’ association, Cockpit, said the airlines
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should offer nicotine patches and nicotine gum to passen gers “who find the non-smok ing rule difficult.” • After California voters passed Proposition 10, which imposes an additional 50-cent tax on each pack of cigarettes sold in the state, the Los Angeles Daily News reported smokers began hoarding cartons of cigarettes in anticipation of the January 1 price hike. Costco discount stores reported that its weekly sales jumped by a million packs right after the election, and store vice president C.J. Ray predicted the greatest vol ume would come in the last two weeks of December.
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KURTH CONTROVERSY: Try as he may to lead a quiet life in Vermont, biographer and Seven Days columnist Peter Kurth is a publicity magnet. First it was the Romanovs — Kurth is an Anastasia expert. Then his own family was forced into the spotlight when his two long-lost nieces turned up in Florida. Last week the New York Press went after Kurth for an article he wrote about Andrew Sullivan for the on-line magazine Salon. In a book review-commentary, Kurth took apart the former New Republic editor for being a “moralizing, self-cen tered Tory,” assigning him to a “band of reactionary middleclass gay commentators in a dither over gay promiscuity.” Sullivan is not only sold on gay marriage, he calls for a “Christian ethic for how to live one’s life as a homosexual.” Now that’s a surprise. More shocking was the anti-Kurth commentary, and accompanying caricature, that appeared a few weeks later in the “alternative” New York Press. In “Peter Kurth’s Problem,” Norah Vincent defends Sullivan like someone breaking up a fight on the play ground. And after a long-winded explana tion about the differ ence between “con servative” and “liber tarian,” she gets in a few jabs of her own. The nastiest by far was accusing Kurth Not the Peter Kurth of using his HIV sta we know tus as an “intellectual credential.” The weirdest thing? When she is not writing for New York Press, Vincent freelances for Salon. '■ -N»S* .•*, - A ENCOURAGING WORDS: It wasn’t the New York reading that landed Tom Paine a two-book deal from Harcourt Brace. But the Charlotte writer was spied at the KGB Bar just days before he scored a six-figure contract for a book of short sto ries and a novel. The downtown watering hole hosts a read ing series that “packs the dive with book-world insiders,” as The New Yorker phrased it. Paine got in the Soviet spirit with a Romanian selection. Meanwhile the story he read at his last appearance — a non-fiction piece about a year-long marblesculpting sabbatical in Italy — is out in the newly published KGB Bar Reader, along with selections by Junot Diaz, Rick Moody, Jennifer Egan, Lydia Davis and Luc Sante. “Me & Michelangelo” is a sweet story, as Paine projects go, with hardly an “f ” word in it.
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JUSTICE FOR ALL? Wolcott poet David Budbill is getting the word out these days — on impeachment, that is. The author of Judevine has “pretty much dropped everything” to help defeat what he calls a “right-wing coup d ’etat” on Capitol Hill. His mass e-mails encourage recipients to con tact key congressman. Before his big announcement last week, Bob Livingston was at the top of the list. “I am look ing out for my own self-interest here,” Budbill says. “And yours” . . . Wonder what former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall would think of the legislative lynching of President Clinton? “He would be the last to throw a stone,” says his Vermont-based biographer, Howard Ball, noting Marshall also fooled around a bit. In Defiant Life, Ball, who is a University of Vermont prof and life-long member of the NAACP, documents the life of a man who has come to per sonify the civil rights movement. In writing the book — his 17th on the subject of the Supreme Court and federal judi ciary — Ball had unprecedented access to volumes of unpub lished material, as well as the full cooperation of Marshall’s widow. Unfortunately, he did not have access to the publish ing schedule over at Random House, which came out with its own bio of Marshall in October. You be the judge . . .
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came again. The sound came from right over the TV, which was on with the sound turned down, showing an old movie of men rowing the giant oars of a big open boat. The sky and the sea were the same bluest blue. Jeannie rubbed her cigarette out and noticed for the first time that the orange blob which was printed on the ashtray under the words New Jersey was sup-
* page 8
-SEVEN DAYS
posed to be a tomato. O r an orange, if oranges ever had green stems. She thought back to Florida but couldn’t remem ber. The baby was sleeping on his stomach on the other bed, his tongue barely poking out of his mouth. Jeannie had piled up the pillows around his little body to keep him from rolling off onto the floor. His hand was clutching the corner of a pil lowcase. The motel manager tapped from the motel office in the next room and broke the
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silence again, a one-two-three made by rolling fingers on the other side of the thin wall. She heard a noise that might have been his muffled voice, but also could have been a semi down shifting out on the Interstate. She looked back at the tomato or orange or whatever it was on the ash tray. It bothered her that she couldn’t figure out which it was. Why couldn’t they be more specific? The ceiling was the foam grid kind, and a broad brown stain covered a corner of the
room except for one white rec tangle where a panel had been replaced. It didn’t seem like oranges could grow in New Jersey. She thought she’d been there once, a long time ago in a car when things were different. New Jersey Turnpike? It didn’t seem right that New Jersey could be famous for its toma toes, either. W hy was there a New Jersey ash tray here in the first place? Jeannie was pretty sure they were in Pennsylvania now. It had been late when she’d gotten out of the college
girls’ station wagon at the gas pumps and walked across the street toward the motel, pulling the wheeled suitcase behind her and balancing the baby against her shoulder. The air was too warm to feel like Christmas, but was cooler than Florida. North, she thought. I ’m still going north. The thought of it made her smile, but also made her stomach play tricks. The station wagon was glid ing back onto the Interstate at the top of the on-ramp before she realized she’d left the bag
1
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with her pad of paper and pens and tarot kit behind. The real ization gave her pain in her shoulders. There was so much to remember all the time. So much to carry — diapers and shoes and then the dirty clothes in a plastic bag plus the radio and earphones and her cards on top of everything else. She had started to swear, but the baby was awake then and she didn’t want him to get distressed. She knew she could fake a tarot reading, anyway. It wouldn’t be the first time. The manager behind the counter at the motel had said, “Just the two of you?” and looked down at her hands. He gave her the key and said he’d be there always if she needed him. He smiled big teeth at her. She saw how his hair grew down over his ears like he was covering them up out of shame. There was a ceramic painted frog in a Santa suit pinned to his shirt pocket. Sadness is part o f life, it's a lesson we all learn, she knew it.
J e a n n ie l if t e d h e r h ip s u p
off the bed and fit two fingers into her front pocket. There were a few pieces of folded paper in there, six twenty dollar bills, a ten, two ones, and the Medic-Alert medallion she’d found in the jewelry case of a Christian thrift store in Coralville, Iowa, while running north from Florida, to her sis ter’s place outside Minneapolis. That was when the baby was brand new. She’s stayed there for a few weeks, but then found a way to let what she’d left in Florida call her back, just like always. She stacked the bills on the bedspread and pressed the medallion to her forehead. The curve of the metal fit the con tour of her brow and warmed her skin there. She pressed it to her lips and felt the lines of the engraved snake wrapped around a staff. Blue light from the tele vision played dully across the ceiling. She raised the medal lion up toward the stained pan els and saw where it said Allergy to Penicillin in red let ters, and where she’d scratched the word BABY into the surface with the leather punch of a jackknife she’d borrowed from a man she’d let kiss her outside a bar during a stopover in Iowa City last summertime. The scratches had worn down a lit tle from rubbing around in her pocket for the past few months. She told herself to remember to fix that.. Jeannie counted the money again and then counted the money again. One-hundred and thirty-two dollars. Enough to see them through a few days at the motel plus enough to get to the next place, north or south. A few days here, in between, might make up her mind. There was a thin phone book and a leatherette Bible on the nightstand. The phone book
named a few towns on the cover, but didn’t say which state they were in. She checked the white pages for Western Union and saw the 800 number and two local list ings — one on a Main Street and one on the Interstate some place, probably a truckstop. She could work the phone for a few solid days and get Andy to wire her the money. He’d hit her for a few dollars on top of the Western Union fee, which would cut into her earnings but was better than going without. Maybe there might be a Christmas bonus to cover it. Not too likely. On the television, a barech ested man with a beard and a kind of skirt was standing up in a boat. His body was surround ed by that pure blue. All the other half-naked men were looking up to him with adora tion in their eyes as he argued with a man in a helmet and breastplate — a Roman, she thought, a bad man. The man with no shirt might have been Jesus, but Jeannie couldn’t remember anything about Jesus being on a boat with any Romans. She unfolded the pieces of paper until she found the one with StarPhone Psychic Hotline’s number. She had other numbers, but only Andy was reliable when it came to wiring cash. The ink was blurry from getting wet a long time ago. • The phone rang once and Andy’s voice came on the line. He said, “Andy.” “It’s Jeannie Wyler, you have your pen?” “Jean Jeannie, I can barely hear what you’re saying. You sound a million miles away like on Mars or something.” “My baby’s sleeping.” “That’s fine, but you speak up when the people call you, yes? Open your mouth wide — smile when you dial, you know?” She could hear him stretch his mouth when he said the words. “I know.” “And don’t tell them Merry Christmas. We got Jews and shit calling all the time.” “I know.” “You’re where?” “Motel. You have your pen or what?” She gave him the direct number for her room. “No calls after midnight, Andy. You bother my baby when you send me those calls after midnight.” “What time zone are you?” “East.” “Umm. You’re getting closer, you know. You might have to pay your Andy a visit someday.” She tried to say something back but her mouth didn’t make any sound. The phone clicked and then Andy’s voice said, “I have to fly away, sweet heart.” She held the dead phone until a robot voice said, “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again.”
away and kept her shoulders up named Dennis and he had a - by her ears as she hurried back beard that split into two parts. around the corner and into the He told her about how the local bar where the baby was droolkids put tube socks over their ing a dark spot onto his blanarms to work the cornfields in ket. She remembered the feeling the summer, loosening the tasin her spine that said his hands sels of the corn plants to make might reach out for her at any them breed right. He made a second, but the man named joke she didn’t understand. He Dennis didn’t follow her back told a story about a busload of inside and she was grateful for those kids getting stuck in high that, water during the floods a few summers back. Some boys got out to go for help and got T h e PHONE RANG AND THE BABY washed away. One body turned shook his head, worked his up in Missouri. He told her a mouth, made an engine noise lot of things and bought her a but didn’t wake up. cranberry juice with a slice of A girl named Faye at lime and a squirt of 7-Up in it. StarPhone didn’t say hello. The baby was sleeping on a Jeannie recognized her voice, blanket on the floor. It was the way she made a wet sound
T h e m a n in I o w a C ity w as
heard herself speak.in the deep er, certain voice that only came out when she was working, “The nineteen card. The sun.” She pictured the sun card in her mind, the two figures standing together under a smiling, flat faced sun like the kind hippies sew onto their bluejean jackets. She started to say, “Success, strong relationships with men for you,” but the woman hung up before Jeannie had a chance to stretch out the cost. W ith all the street noise gone from the phone, the room seemed more silent than before. She went to the window and looked out across the nar row parking lot and past the gas station to where the Interstate passed by. Cars flew in both directions. There were people in Massachusetts she could rely on for a time. They’d told her as much. There was Florida, too, and the one she always intended to stay away from. This place was nowhere. She could put her foot down in either direction and start over.
W h e n s h e ’d s t o o d t h e r e in
the tall grass with the man named Dennis, she imagined herself watching him and her. Lonely, was all.
S h e h e a r d t h e fin g er s ta ppin g
early and the only other people there were old men except for the bartender, who stayed way at the other end of the bar until Dennis would nod to him. They knew each other’s names. She allowed herself one glass of Blue Ribbon beer and then one more. Dennis said the Pabst brewery in Milwaukee 'was^going out of business any day now. He had a friend who told him so. She told him about the baby. How he was born too soon and sleeps all the time. Dennis nodded and didn’t say anything. Later, she let Dennis push his beard against her face where they stood in the tall grass behind the bar. The exhaust fan in the air conditioner rattled next to her ear and leaked a narrow stream of water over the wainscoting of the outer wall where she kept her hand until he reached for it and held it against his groin while he kissed her on the neck. She pulled
on the wall behind the TV. One-two-three, one-two-three, a m e ^ o^hm e* ShegefruMsee die man Defarm the desk in per mind. The way he swallowed and looked at her hands when he said, “Just the two o f you?” Jeannie got up and walked over to the television, where the men from the boat were now on the shore, silently fighting a giant monster made from rock. Everybody does get lonesome. She leaned her elbows against the TV and ran the pads of her fin gers over the wall. It had been painted with a sponge or a rag or something and looked red when she said her F’s. Faye said, underneath the wash of yellow. “Female calling from seven-oneShe blew a string of hair out eight New York area code, of her eyes and tapped on the okay?” Faye was gone and there wall with her fingers. One-twowas silence while the bill added three. She waited a few seconds up. and did it again. The television Jeannie heard a clicking and box was warm under her arms. then a woman on the phone She heard his fingers drum on said she couldn’t; afford but a the other side o f the wall. A minute and was in a great rush ■ horn honked somewhere, out anyway. She said great rtish.’ side, and then another one Jeannie thought she sounded honked from somewhere farther German, though she couldn’t away. Nothing here seemed remember ever meeting anyone real. from Germany. There was noise His fingers tapped again,, in the background like she was further to the right. She put her calling from a payphone. There ear to the yellow surface andv . was the sound of a siren passing followed the muffled taps as?? by and when it quieted again, they moved along the wall, dnethe woman was saying, “... .yes, two-three, one-two-three, tap yes, just one card please, one ping along as she sidestepped card quickly.” with their movement, closer Jeannie knelt down by the and closer to the door. baby’s bed and smoothed out The baby opened its mouth the blanket around his thin lit and made a sticky complaint but tle body. didn’t open its eyes. She whis The woman on the phone pered, “Sleep baby,” and took sounded young. Jeannie imag the key from the windowsill. ined her standing on a corner a The door opened and closed million miles from home. She without making a sound. CD
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ust be 200 trips between Cleveland and Albany I made with that job, but I waited until my very last one to get off 1-90 and visit Uncle Mason. The reasons are hard to explain. At least I used to think so. Uncle Mason is my great uncle, technically — my mother’s mother’s younger brother. Some time around my 16th birthday, he’d decided — on an impulse I was sure marked the beginnings of senility — that T'wgs his favorite nephew. He must have been 75, 76, then. I’d started smoking dope that year and knew I wasn’t fit to be anyone’s favorite anything. “PS. You know you’re my favorite,” he’d write in his cards, his elegant handwriting almost a taunt. Thanks to my mother, who made me write him a thank-you note for every birthday-ChristmasEaster-Arbor-Day-you-name-it card, I remained his favorite on into adulthood. I was 25 years old and selling magazine ad space in Boston before he finally sent me a card that wasn’t adorned with boys playing baseball or puppies getting into mischief. That year’s card did, however, contain the standard tenspot and the still unjustified post script. I threw the card away and scored some weed. A few years later I was selling drugs — pharmaceuticals, that is — for a company out of Albany.
M
My territory stretched along the I90 corridor from there to Cleveland*,When Uncle Mason,, > asked me about the position at my grandmother’s funeral, I tried to make it sound like I worked the counter at a drug store. I didn’t want him to know that I drove practically right past his door two, four, six times a month. It didn’t seem right not to stop that last trip, though, if for no other reason than I wouldn’t be driving that route anymore. It was time for a change. At least that’s what my soon-to-be-ex-wife, Christine, had said. Although I resisted the idea at first, during those long hours in my dashboard confessional, with New York, Pennsyl-vania and Ohio spinning around me like carousel ponies, I had to admit she was right. Things weren’t working out. It’s not a terribly interesting story; we’d only been married a couple years. But even though she said her decision to leave had nothing to do with my being on the road so much, I figured I’d get a new job anyway. Wipe the slate clean. I didn’t know what Uncle Mason would say about it if he found out, but I thought it might be nice to enter the next phase of my professional life, whatever it was, with that long-overdue visit to him out of the way. I left Cleveland after lunch, which would put me in Syracuse around dinner time. I called Uncle Mason on my car phone as I was
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had somehow become James Dean. • “Well, .isn’t th is...I...,” he said as I got out of my car and gave him a hug. “It’s good to see you.” “W hy...this...I had no idea...” “I tried calling you, but the
leaving town, but the line was busy. I tried again outside Buffalo a few hours later, but it was still tied up. When the busy signal sounded in my ear as the sign for the North Syracuse exit appeared on the horizon, I almost punched the accelerator and kept right on going. Must be the thought of another mule kicking in my favorite-nephew stall made me jealous, because I got off the highway and headed for Uncle Mason’s place. I called him one last time as I was turning onto the Cedarwood complex drive, but this time the phone just rang and rang. As I pulled up to the B building, I came upon Uncle Mason unlocking his burgundy LeSabre. At least I thought it was him. It was certainly his car, and it was definitely his shock of white hair and large, baleful eyes. But I couldn’t imagine where he’d picked up the leather jacket. I mean, this was a nice jacket — not some cheesy, “Thriller”-type deal with weird flaps and wings. And it didn’t look new. When I pulled in next to him, Uncle Mason turned around and, in one fluid motion, yanked the front zipper up to his neck. I almost forgot to brake, struck with the notion that the man I couldn’t distin guish from Mr. Magoo for a large part of my early childhood
didn’t call you earlier, but I just found out I was coming over this way.” ; “No, no, it’s wonderful to see you. It’s ju st...” He looked at his car, then at me. “Tonight’s Bingo night.” “Great!” I clapped my ; hands. • V;:
“No, no, it’s wonderful to see you. It’s just...” He looked at his car, then at me. “Tonight’s Bingo night.” line was busy.” I punched him lightly in the shoulder. “I thought you stopped working for the phone company a long time ago.” He feigned a laugh, which caught me off guard. He’d always found me so funny before. “I was ju st...” He hesi tated. “Nice jacket.” “Oh, this old fossil.” He laughed — a little nervously, it seemed. “I used to wear it on dates with your Aunt Louise.” There was an awkward pause, so I spoke. “I’m sorry I
Uncle Mason didn’t say any thing. “I mean, do you mind if I join you?” “Well,” he mustered, squint ing as if in mild pain, “do you know how to play?” “O f course, I do. The thing with the cards?” I caught him stealing a glance at his watch. “Uncle Mason?” He looked at me. “We’ve played Bingo togeth er. The last time I was here, about five years ago. The VFW in Brewerton.”
“Brewerton,” he repeated absently. He looked like he’d been busted — a very strange expres sion on the man Who, as far as I knew, had never done anything wrong in his life.'As I under stood it, he’d finished high school and gone to work for the phone company, where he stayed — ending up in Payroll, I think -— until a welcome and well-earned retirement. He’d missed three days of work in forty-some years: for the funer als of his mother, his sister — , my grandmother — and his wife. “So,” I said, my heart racing a bit, “can I go?” “Oh, sure.” I detected a trace o f doubt. “We should get going, though.” He gave his keys a jin gle, then unlocked his door. “Game’s in Cicero tonight.” He reached into the car and un locked my door with an elec tronic ka-chunk. “We don’t want to be late.”
t age 90, Uncle Mason was a surprisingly good driver — not one of those wheel-clenching slow pokes that had made so many of my days on the highway so long. It was a full hour before game time when we settled in at his regular Monday night spot in the basement of the Sacred Heart Church.
A
Continued on next page
u tte v
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He still seemed a little dis tracted by my presence as he set out a bright-yellow plastic box of Bingo chips. From the box he produced a spatula-shaped wand with a magnet at its head — used for clearing the wirerimmed chips off the cards after a game — and a white bottle about the size of a toothpaste tube, which he set on the seat next to his. I picked up the bot tle. “Dab-o-Ink,” the label read, “preferred by Bingo players worldwide for over 25 years.” “It’s for marking the paper cards,” Uncle Mason said, reaching for the bottle. “For the special games. I’m using it to save...I want to save that seat.” He took the Dab-o-Ink back. “For who?” I asked. “W hom ,” Uncle Mason cor rected as he looked at his watch. “We need to get our cards.” He stood up quickly, tugging at my arm and drag ging me up with him. After we’d walked through the Bingo card line and returned to our table, Uncle Mason disappeared without saying where he was going — outlandish behavior for a man ordinarily about as spontaneous as a clock. That’s when the women sitting at the table behind ours — a brace of six chatterboxes between the ages of sixty and eighty — asked me if I’d met Helen.
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C ontinued from p a g e 11 “Helen?” I said. “Is she a Bingo partner?” The women laughed like schoolgirls. A few minutes before eight, Uncle Mason returned with a petite woman on his arm and an uneasy smile on his face. In her late seventies or so, she had soft green eyes and a refined, short, white-gray hairdo that looked like it could’ve been sprayed on from an aerosol can. She was wearing a smart navyblue pants suit and a coquettish smile as my uncle escorted her along. “Raymond,” Uncle Mason said. “I’d like you to meet Helen Beauchamps.” “Pleased to meet you, Helen.” I rose and shook her hand. “Very nice to meet you.” As Helen smiled back, I noticed that the blue ribbon in her hair matched her outfit. No sooner had we been introduced, the church secre tary and the evening’s caller took the stage in front of a high-tech scoreboard. Uncle Mason pushed me to my seat, gently but firmly, and tidied up the square of four cards in front of me. He was playing a baker’s dozen. I did my best but, truth be told,, had a fair amount of diffi culty keeping up. Uncle Mason
had to keep reminding me to watch my inside and outside corners, which could also form a Bingo. Each time he looked over at my cards, he found a called number I’d neglected to cover. , At intermission, Uncle Mason got up to get Helen and me some coffee. “It’s so nice to finally meet you,” she said, patting my arm. “Your uncle talks about you all the time.” “Nothing too bad, I hope.” Helen laughed politely. “He says you’re in sales.” “That’s right.” “But you were doing some thing else before...” She looked up into the fluorescent lights. “Was it in Boston?” “Yes. San Francisco before that. Actually, I’ve been in sales since I got out of college, but I’ve worked for a few different companies.” “So your uncle has said. And you married a nice gal from Massachusetts.” Feeling the blood rush to my face, I looked at the mag netic wand in my hand, from which I’d been trying to scrape chips into the yellow box. That’s when I noticed a picture of Aunt Louise taped to the inside of the box lid. I was heartened to see a smaller, younger picture of me there as well. Sensing Helen also looking at the picture, I turned back to
During those long hours in my dash board con fessional, with New York, Pennsylvania and Ohio spinning around me like carousel ponies, I had to admit she was right. Things weren’t working out.
ILLUSTRATION: GARY CAUSER
Bingo
ler. She smiled softly and touched my arm again. “I’m sorry to say I never knew her,” she said. “She was quite a lady.” “She must have been.” We ipaused then, maybe out of Respect, maybe because I was Irrying to imagine how I’d feel if |my current boyfriend still kept a picture of his dead wife taped to the lid of his Bingo box. Helen diverted my attention with a little “hrrum ph.” “So,” she said, fixing me with a playful scowl. “If you’re lis favorite, why didn’t you Tring us better luck tonight?”
fter the last game was called, as Uncle Mason and I stood by his car out in the church parking lot, he appeared distraught that I had n’t won anything. I tried to [assure him that I wasn’t disap pointed, but nothing I said jseemed to make him less anxious. When I told him that it was ’■worth the trip just to meet his friends, he hesitated. “Especally Helen,” I added. Uncle Mason began to [speak, but stopped again, and |nervously jingled the keys in lis hand. He looked at me over |the car roof, as if for help. “I have some news,” I said [without really thinking. “News?” I looked down and took a
A
deep breath. “Christine and I are splitting up. We’re getting a divorce.” Uncle Mason stared at me for what felt like a long time. “You have to?” I nodded. He watched me closely, not frowning, but not smiling, either. Eventually, he just shook his head. “Gee, I’m awfully sorry, Ray.” “Thanks. It’s just not work ing.” A few moments later, he turned back toward Sacred Heart, but didn’t say anything. “She seems very sweet,” I said. “You’re sure it’s the right thing to do?” His gaze wan dered away from the church and off toward the cemetery. “You’re sure it’s right? That it’s all.. .appropriate?” His tone had grown distant. “Yeah,” I sighed. “It’s not ideal. But, you want to know the truth, I’m already looking forward.” Uncle Mason turned to me then and smiled that smile he saves for when he’s proud, the one I used to conjure upon receiving all those cards. “You do move on, don’t you, Ray?” he said, his voice wavering a little. “I do, yes. One does.” He nodded and jingled the keys again. “That’s why you’re my favorite.” ®
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n 1956, at the age of five, I was solemnly escorted by my grandmother to a baronial movie theater in downtown Minneapolis to see The Ten Commandments, which, accord ing to my grandmother, was a documentary about our rela tives. That I didn’t recognize any of them was because they were being played by actors. This was, after all, a movie about something that happened 3000 years ago. My grandmother did not feel it necessary to provide an exegesis on the question of whether the portrayals of the supernatural were simulacrum or not. She assumed, as I did, that the special effects employed to ignite the burning bush, turn the Nile waters to blood, part the red seas, et al., were realistic reenactments of extraordinary phenomena that we had just missed witnessing in person by a couple millen nia. Besides, the question of whether it was God or special effects behind it all had been adequately addressed and dis posed of in the narrative itself. When Moses makes his first appeal to the Pharaoh to let his people go, warning that he has been sent by a powerful god who will not take no for an answer, he presents proof of this god’s awesome capability by throwing his staff onto the throne room floor. One, two, three, the staff turns into a drawing of a wig gling staff, a drawing of a wig gling snake, and then into a real cobra. The Pharaoh points out that this same trick could be as easily performed by, as he puts it, a cheap magician,” and calls for his two court magicians to
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back him up. One, two, three, their staffs are turned into cobras, too. When Moses’ snake eats the other two up discreetly off-camera, the magicians are freaked, the audience is con vinced, but the Pharaoh, to his lasting regret, is not impressed. When Moses bends down to retrieve his snake-staff, keep ing his pose several beats longer than life so as to give the ani mators time to metamorphose the cobra back into a stick, my grandmother and I had no problem suspending our disbe lief during those awkward sec onds. After all, cinema, unlike the thing it imitated, had its limits. And besides, special
gence of frogs from the pollut ed river as a demonstration of perfectly natural frog behavior under the circumstances, the death of Egyptian cattle as inevitable in the absence of potable water, the plague of flies and lice as the result of so much carrion lying around, and the boils tormenting the popu lace as a consequence of the presence of disease-bearing insects. “These things were ordered by themselves,” postulates the Pharaoh, confident as a sociobi ologist. But no sooner does the Pharaoh strike a blow for post modern science than his patio is pelted with fiery hail, fol
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lowed by an eerie blue cloud that creeps over the moon and descends into the street, flows under the doors not painted with lamb’s blood and kills all Egyptian first-borns, including the Pharaoh’s own beloved, bratty son. The Ten Commandments most spectacularly contrived funky special effect — the part ing of the Red Sea — puts an end to the Pharaoh’s cynicism, and that of everyone else in the theater. Except the Hebrews, who, faced with a daunting journey across one of the worst deserts on the planet, have a collective panic attack and regress into idol worship. Meanwhile, up on Mt. Sinai,
C E L E B R A T I N G
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The new Moses is as affable and affectless a prophet as one might wish to ignore, as easily imagined leaping out of the pages of a J. Crew catalogue as the Book of Exodus. effects weren’t called special for nothing. In the analog world of the ’50s, special effects were the exception, not the rule — it wasn’t every day reality got bent, twisted and busted through. A special effect thumbed its nose at the built-in cynic smirking out of our soonto-be outed selfish genes, the rational narcissist always on the ready like the self-serving Pharaoh to supply a banal explanation for everything. A special effect felt like a favor, an ingenious challenge, in the case of The Ten Commandments, to the arrogance of the intelligent Pharaoh, who explained away the Nile’s bloody waters as an effect of red mud sifting down from the mountains, the emer
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With books on straw houses, hemp and humanure, a Vermont business finds its niche B y J o h n D il l o n
A N D F IN E W O O D E N W A R E gift of fortune — a sense of serendipitous circum stance that goes beyond mere coincidence — seems to have settled on the Chelsea Green Publishing Co. in White River Junction. How else to explain the events that led this small firm to publish two books 13 years apart — one fiction, one fact, yet both offering remarkably parallel lessons of environmental hope and renewal? In 1984, when Ian and Margo Baldwin started the company in their house on Chelseas green, one of the first books they published was The Man Who Planted Trees, Jean Gionos classic fable o f a simple shepherd who singlehandedly reforested thousands of acres in war-ravaged Europe. W ith its intricate woodcut illustrations, fine typography and inspiring
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story, the slender volume has sold over 200,000 copies. More than a decade later, Ian Baldwin and Chelsea Green editor Jim Schley were listening to public radio and heard jour nalist Alan Weisman’s story about a remarkable Colombian village called Gaviotas. Founded in 1971 by visionary Paola Lugari, Gaviotas is locat ed in the llanos, the vast, tree less equatorial savanna where the climate is harsh and the soils unproductive. Under Lugari’s direction, the Gaviotans invented dozens of devices to harness the sun and the wind, making the vil lage a model for sustainable development around the world. Engineers in Gaviotas devel oped solar collectors that were later used to heat water in the hospitals and apartment blocks of Bogota. They produced wind generators that spin even in the
light savanna breezes, solar boil ers to sterilize water, and pumps powered by children’s seesaws. Although granted patent pro tection for their inventions, the Gaviotans have chosen to donate the patents to the world. Most amazing, however, was Gaviotas’ unplanned botanical miracle. Over the years, the vil lagers had planted the plains with two million Caribbean pines. Now in their cool shade, forest plants and trees — which had thrived there millennia before in an extension of the Amazonian rain forest — began to reappear. “Everywhere else they’re tearing down rain forests. We’re showing how to put them back,” Lugari told Weisman. Listening to Weisman’s radio report, editor Schley was struck by the parallel between the story of Gaviotas and The Man Who Planted Trees. He called Weisman and convinced him to write a book about this community that has triumphed despite the harsh environment, guerrilla war and Colombia’s drug-corrupted society. The result was a real-life corollary to Chelsea Green’s first volume. Gaviotas, A Village to Reinvent the World, released last spring to rave reviews in the Utne Reader and The Nation. Now in its third hardcover printing, the book is a briskselling bright spot in a publish ing category the company refers to as “sustainable living.” By
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Rochester scored big with a in the mid-1980s. focusing on this niche through book that has become the Chelsea Green ultimately books on the environment, movie Patch Adams, about a published Coleman’s New alternative energy, innovative self-described “nutty doctor” Organic Grower, which has home construction and organic and his crusade for free univer become a company bestseller. gardening, Chelsea Green itself But with 20 to 30 new volumes sal health care. At the urging of may have found its own sus tainable future. The company struggled through the early 1990s with an eclectic list that included poetry by David Budbill, a few novels, a volume on recreating Vermont-style democracy by John McClaughry and Frank Bryan, as well as how-to books — Stephen Morris, Chelsea Green publisher and a guide to Africa’s danger former “M.A.S.H.” star Mike a year, the Vermont house still ous snakes. The selection was Farrell, Universal Studios ranks as a miniscule player in a well-written but lacked a unify bought the rights from Inner ing theme, leading to a series of publishing industry dominated Traditions, which specializes in “hits and misses,” said company by New York-based firms that New Age titles. The movie president Stephen Morris. “The often release thousands of titles opened last weekend in New a year. Companies like Warner, company was alternatively pros York, with Robin Williams in Random House and Simon and perous or close to broke,” he the doctor role. Schuster can attract writers said. At Chelsea Green, Morris with huge advances and can By the early 1990s, when and Baldwin describe their hype their books aggressively Morris, 50, was hired as a sales company as being at “the hub with large marketing budgets. consultant, Chelsea Green was of an invisible universe” — a in financial crisis. Staff had concept that at first sounds pre been cut back from 11 to four. tentious until you realize the t’s a cut-throat time in pub The company needed a focus as philosophy and business strate lishing. Although the book much as it needed profits. gy behind it. The universe they business has grown slightly Examining the company’s titles, describe is not bounded by over the past few years, the Morris advised the firm to geography, but is rather defined publishing pie is being divvied identify one particular niche by the notion that human up in smaller portions. and develop it better than any needs — for shelter, food, ener Companies like Starbucks are other company. Ian Baldwin — gy, medicine and work — can getting into the book business, an environmental activist who and should be met in ways that had also worked as an editor for while on-line enterprises are will allow future generations to having a measurable, negative Holt, Rinehart and Winston — flourish. Despite the American agreed that the company should effects on chains like Barnes & avarice of the 1980s and 1990s, Noble, which force smaller focus on “sustainable living,” readers are looking for inspiring bookstores out of business by defined as living to protect the ways to live with less impact on slashing prices. planet for future generations. the planet, they say Political The times are just as turbu Since then, the company’s systems may be hard to change, lent for writers. Harper Collins fortunes have improved but planting a new garden, last year abruptly canceled over through the publication of installing a clean-burning 100 books it had under con books that appeal both to a masonry stove or building a tract, a business decision that reader’s idealistic and frugal passive solar house are within shocked the literary world and selves. These books aren’t all reach. stern instruction guides on how left authors wondering about In an era of increasing pub their future. to tread lightly on the Earth. licity over macro environmental Yet Morris insists now is a They are well-written, artfully events like global warming and fine time to be a small publish designed and presented books the damaged ozone layer, the that can be enjoyed for the flow er so long as the company stays public is increasingly searching focused on subjects that remain of language as well as for their unexplored by others. “Nobody’s for practical solutions for their sound advice. The Straw Bale own lives, Morris believes. looking into the nooks and House, for example, details the crannies of the publishing busi “Eating right, living in a wellseemingly bizarre notion of designed home, growing your ness, so the opportunities are building shelter with straw. The own food, and managing your great,” he said. This year concept at first drew laughter health add up to a lifestyle that Costco bought 6000 copies of from book sellers, Morris is desirable, not just necessary,” The Man Who Planted Trees recalls. Yet the book, richly detailed and illustrated, has sur from Chelsea Green. Time mag he said. Morris uses the term “sus azine mentioned one of its prised everyone by selling tainable hedonism” to describe recent titles — From the 100,000 copies in five years, the company’s theme and target Redwood Forests— in an article despite the fact that there are market — a catch phrase that about a battle raging in fewer than 1000 straw bale turned up on the cover of a Northern California between homes in the U.S. recent Chelsea Green project logging interests and environ Looking back, Morris said with New Yorker cartoonist Ed the company’s sustainable living mentalists. Koren. The paperback gift Other small publishers have tone was set from the begin also found success in Vermont’s book, entitled, The Hard Work ning by Giono’s simple story. o f Simple Living: A Somewhat corner of the publishing world The Man Who Planted Trees Blank Book for the Sustainable came to the Baldwins indirectly — and often with projects that Hedonist, has sold 5000 copies don’t sound particularly mar through Helen Nearing, the since September, proving that ketable. Steerforth Press in late self-sufficiency pioneer and gardening without pesticides South Royalton, for example, is uncrowned leader of the backdoes not rule out having fun. solely responsible for renewed to-the-land movement. Years “Sustainable living” as a interest in Greenwich Village ago, Helen Nearing had told marketing niche remains undis gardening writer Eliot Coleman writer Dawn Powell. The covered — and perhaps Countryman Press in Woodabout Giono’s story. Coleman unwanted — by the big houses, stock — now a division of brought it to the Baldwins, who Morris said. “If you’re a small, picked up the publishing rights. W.W. Norton Co. — has a general publisher, this isn’t a wide .selection of popular More serendipity. Coleman, good time to be in the business. books, including Howard who hosts a popular gardening But if you’re committed to a Coffin’s Civil War history of a show on The Learning niche — and you do a better Vermont regiment at Channel, was a high-school job at it than anybody in that Gettysburg. classmate of Ian Baldwin, and Inner Traditions in later his neighbor in Vermont
V "Starting Dec. 1st, while supplies free baskets and wrappings wi $25 purchases and morel
“Sustainable living is not even on the radar screen of the big publishers.”
I
Continued on page 36
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SEVEN DAYS
o© $ |o u
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page19
22
where to go
HILLBILLY HOLIDAY
After Dark Music Series, Knights of Columbus Hall, Middlebury, 388-0216. Alley-Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Boony’s, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-2711. Brewski, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5432. BU Emporium, Bellwood Shpg. Ctr., Colchester, 658-4292. B.W.'s Restaurant, 1 Towne Mktpl., Essex Jet., 879-0752. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cafe Banditos, Mountain Rd., Jeffersonville, 644-8884. Cafe Ole, North Common, Chelsea, 685-2173. Cafe Swift House, 25 Stewart Lane, Middlebury, 388-9925. Cambridge Coffee House, Smugglers' Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Charlie O's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chicken Bone, 43 King St., Burlington, 864-9674. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Club Toast, 165 Church, Burlington, 660-2088. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Diamond Jim's Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Emerald City, 114 River St., Montpelier, 223-7007. Franny O’s 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Gallagher’s, Rt. 100 & 17, Waitsfield, 496 -88 00. Giorgio’s Cafe, Tucker Hill Lodge, Rt. 17, Waitsfield, 496 -39 83. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 1 1 6 ,4 8 2 -4 4 4 4 . Greatful Bread, 65 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-4466. Ground Round, 1633 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-1122. Halvorson's, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658 -02 78. Henry’s, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 223-2895. Jake's, 1233 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 658-2251. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. LaBrioche, 89 Main St., Montpelier, 229-0443. Last Chance Saloon, 147 Main, Burlington, 862-5159. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Live Art at the Barre Opera House, Barre, (schedule) 883-9307; (tickets) 476-8188. Mad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Main St. Bar& Grill, 118 Main St., Montpelier, 223-3188. Manhattan Pizza, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. Monopoles, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, 518-563-2222. The Mountain Roadhouse, 1677 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-2800. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. The Night Spot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-9885 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. Radisson Hotel, 60 Battery St., Burlington, 658-6500. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhombus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ruben James, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rude Dog, 14 Green St., Vergennes, 877-2034. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sai-Gon Cafe, 133 Bank St., Burlington, 863-5637. Slammer, Rt. 7, Milton, 893-3454. Something Cool, 22 Brinkerhoff St., Plattsburgh, NY, 518 -56 3-86 39. Swany’s, 215 Main St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Sweetwaters, 118 Church St., Burlington, 864-9800. The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 878-1100. Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. Main St., Waterbury, 244-5223. Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Thrush Tavern, 107 State St., Montpelier, 223-2030. Toadstool Harry’s, Rt. 4, Killington, 422 -50 19. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655 -95 42. Tuckaway’s, Sheraton, 870 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 865-6600. Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496 -34 09. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. Villa Tragara, Rt. 100, Waterbury Ctr., 244-5288. Windjammer, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Wobbly Barn, Killington Rd., Killington, 422 -33 92.
If you thought the Chrome Cowboys Christmas Party
at Metronom e last week w as fun, wait till you see them after they’ve opened their presents!
The vintage W estern sw in ge rs with their pals Starline Rhythm Boys make for a double-trouble
dance-a-thon this Saturday at Higher Ground.
V IN Y L
D E S T IN A T IO N
TUESDAY OPEN STAGE (acoustic), Burlington
Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-
6. MICHELE LALIBERTE (French &
German cabaret), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. NC. MARTIN & MITCHELL (soul DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. WIDE WAIL (alt-rock) Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. CHAD (pop rock), Nectar’s, 9:15 p.m. NC. BASHMENT (reggae/dancehall DJ),
Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. FLASHBACK (’70s-’90s DJ), Club
Toast, 9:30 p.m. $5. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. ROSEBUD FILM SERIES (The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Grinch That Stole Christmas), Higher Ground, 8 & 10:30 p.m. NC. CASEY & JOE (from Sam’s Planet),
Nightspot Outback, 9:15, NC.
23
WEDNESDAY ELLEN POWELL & MARK VAN GULDEN (jazz), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC. DISCO FUNK (DJs John Demus &
Tim Diaz), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. CHAD (pop rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m.
NC. REBECCA SIMONE (acid soul), Red
Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. COSMIC LOUNGE (DJ Mike Spearz), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $1/4.
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page 20
SEVEN DAYS
december 23, 1998
Nectar's
Jan. 12th @ 9:30pm
B c e c t n b s r
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92% of SEVEN DAYS readers will ’ drive an hour or so for arts, dining, shopping or sports.
METRO M ASSIVE (hip-hop/dance-
hall DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE (Christmas party),
Swany’s Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. TREACHEROUS GROOVES
(reggae/scratch; Adams birthday blow-out), Emerald City Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. $1/5. TNT (DJ Sc karaoke), Thirsty Turtle,
9 p.m. NC.
24 THURSDAY JAMES HARVEY BAND (jazz), Red
Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. ADAM’S BIRTHDAY BLOW-OUT
(DJ), Emerald City Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. NC/$5.
LET IT HO HO HO Rusty Nail owner Bobby Roberts brags on his answ ering machine that his Stowe nightspot has a b ig Christm as party going. Well, FRIDAY
he ain’t kidding. At least he’s got one of the biggest voices in Vermont going for his blast noel — Tammy Fletcher. Praying for the white stuff w as never so much fun. Oh, and there’s a Furbie raffle! Fletcher and The D isciples sleigh ’em this Friday.
JOE CAPPS (jazz), Sai-Gon Cafe,
7 p.m. NC. PERRY NUNN (acoustic), Ruben
James, 5 p.m. NC, followed by DJ NIGHT, 10 p.m. NC. EVOLUTION (DJ Craig Mirchell),
SATURDAY
GUY COLASACCO (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC.
Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $3. HAND SPUN (DJ), Emerald City
EMPTY POCKETS (rock), Henry’s
Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/5. JALAPENQ BROS, (acoustic rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, 4 p.m. NC,
Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC.
Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. SAM ARMSTRONG (jazz favorites), Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m.
TAMMY FLETCHER & THE DISCI
SANDRA WRIGHT & KIP MEAKER
NC.
PLES (soul/blues; Christmas party),
CHROME COWBOYS, STARLINE
Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5. RUSS & CO (rock), Gallagher’s,
(blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ NICENESS, A DOG (DJs), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $4/6.
9 p.m. $4/7.
SWING DANCE LESSONS, Club
ADAM’S BIRTHDAY BLOW-OUT
Metronome, from 6 p.m. $8, followed by RETR0N0ME (DJ Craig
hillbilly boogie), Higher Ground, 9:30 p.m. $5. BAD HORSEY (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC (country-rock; round Sc square dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. CRACKED HEAD (rock), Rude Dog
135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC.
DJ NIGHT (hip-hop/r&b DJs),
(DJ), Emerald City Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. NC/$5.
Mitchell), 10 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC.
MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), Nectar’s,
HIP-HOP NIGHT, Ruben James,
9:30
11 p.m. NC.
NC. FACTORIA (DJ Little Martin),
THE FLAMES (rock) Vermont Pub
135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5.
Sc Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC.
p .m .
weekly
listings
B a n d In s t r u m e n t A D is c o u n t P r ic e s
on
RHYTHM BOYS (vintage country,
followed by PURE PRESSURE (soul/jazz), 9 p.m. $4. RUSS & CO (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $4/7. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $4/5. NOBBY REED BAND (blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. THE MIGHTY CHIHUAHUAS (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3, followed by BLUE (rock), 9:15 p.m. $7.
SUNDAY JERRY LAVENE (jazz guitar),
Windjammer, 10:30 a.m. NC. COBALT BLUE (blues/rock),
Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. ANNIVERSARY PARTY, Red Square,
9:30 p.m. NC. METRO PUB, Club Metronome, 9
p.m. NC. SKAMAPHRODITES & FRIENDS
(ska), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $4/6.
continued on page 29
Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. WOLF LARSON (classic rock),
www.sevendaysvt.com
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SHORTTERM PROPHETS
TOO MUCH MANIA Some things apparently haven’t changed
FEAT. MEMBERS OF MOTEL BROWN, BOX SET & FREE FALL
at “the new Rasputin’s.” After his solo show last Saturday night, Dave Jarvis was badly beaten, sustaining cuts, bruises and a broken leg. Seems Dave was doing a rendition of “Gloria” (as in G-L-O-R-I-A) when he acknowledged an attractive woman of Eastern extraction who had walked into the bar by working the phrase, “Asian beauty” into the lyrics. After the song, he reports, the bartender accused him of insulting the woman, whereupon Dave protested — into the microphone — that he wasn’t there to insult anyone. He finished his set, left the bar, and went to the Daily Planet. After about 45 minutes, Dave says, he headed for his car and, in front of Kinko’s, was suddenly attacked — by the male companion of the Asian woman, who accompanied him. Bent over one of the concrete planters, Dave was choked and hit repeatedly. Even during this pummeling, he managed to ask the woman if she had felt insulted and she replied, says Dave, “No, I don’t even know what this is about.” Much to his dismay, and surprise, no one came to the rescue, even though it was just 11:30 on a Saturday night near the busiest, most bar-infested part of downtown. Even more unfortunately, Dave’s leg got caught at a bad angle dangling over the planter, and the tibia cracked just below his knee. This just a day before he and his wife and baby were to leave for a holiday trip to Louisiana. The only good news? Before hauling up to the emergency room, Dave did manage a clue to the attacker’s identity: his license plate number. I have a feeling there will be an update on this sorry tale. The incident was enough to sour Dave’s weekly stint at the underground watering hole. “That’s the end of playing at Rasputin’s,” he says. “I’m not playing out any more without my band, and not in bars, just showcases.” Not the merriest o f Christmases. V
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turn: Next Monday at the Rusty Nail in Stowe three howlin’ bands — Available Jones, The Naturals and The Nobby Reed Project — turn up the amps, and the good will, for “Moppo,” a Franklin County harmonica player with cancer. The tunes, plus door prizes and a raffle, ensure the benefit is a two-way street.
LEO K O TTK E SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14 S12 ADVANCE S14 DAY OF SHOW EARLY SHOW DOORS 7 SHOW 8 SPECIAL VALENTINE'S DAY SHOW!
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SINGLE TRACKS If you’re in New York for the holidays, pay a visit to viperHOUSe at Wetlands December 29, with Michael Ray and Disco Biscuits . . . Burlington musician and Cassini Six protestor Michael Nedell has almost
worked out a deal to fulfill his community service at Rhombus. Nothing like “criminal” activity and art to round out one’s life . . . Songwriters, check this column next week for some exciting news about a competition for...oh, hell, I can’t tell you yet, sorry. . . Look here, too, for the Top 20 Vermont Albums of 1998! . . . Have a safe and happy holi day of choice. (7) Band name of the week:
page 22
SEVEN DAYS
december 23, 1998
Fruitcake
N O E L , i r s JUST A PHASE (Tundra Records, CD) — Who would’ve thought Noel, a singer/songwriter and “female illusionist” from Morrisville, would be mentioned in the same breath as Madonna or Sade? Well, I just did it, and Noel’s debut disc, Its Just a Phase, sounds big — big enough to get on urban dance pop radio, even. This CD is a collaboration between Noel and Peter Wilder, a wellconnected, Emmy-winning composer/arranger who clearly knows his way around a recording studio. Wilder plays keyboards and guitars and programs the percussion, while Noel divas it up with help from her able background vocalists Becky Canedy, Cathy Sargent and Pat Webster. It’s Just a Phase avoids much of the chill that techno-oriented pop is vulnera ble to largely due to Noel’s warm, engag ing voice. Unfortunately, Wilder does break out the occasional cliche synthesized pan pipes and world-beat per cussion sounds. The title track has a big hook and hit poten tial, and the record closes with extended “uncut” versions of “It’s Just a Phase” and “Shimmer” — another highly viable track. I also really liked the reggae-flavored “Remnants From the State of Love” and the Ray o f Light-era. Madonna-esque “Mesmerized.” Noel comes up with some killer melodies and lyrics, which, while not exactly ground-breaking, do demonstrate some craft. There are a few clunkers here — the cornball slo-jam “Love Song,” for example. But, damn, worse songs have gone platinum. “Charlatan,” too, is kinda awkward, and marred by a non sequitur of a guitar solo. Noel’s vibrato seems stuck on one speed and gets a little tired after awhile. Still, besides presenting a writer with pronoun problems, Noel, with help from Wilder, has dished up a platter heaping with potential. Here’s hoping It’s Just a Phase is not. Paul Gibson
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GO £
LU
The Blame lay down some straightforward rock n’ roll. Recorded by Gus Ziesing at Low Tech Studios, Shine Again sounds really good — well played and balanced. Like their name, their sound has an 80s ring to it, but I couldn’t think of anyone in particular they sound like, which is good. The Blame aren’t trend followers, but nei ther are they trend setters, and only a couple of tracks real ly stuck in my head. Guitarist Mark Steffenhagen helps define the band with the cool washed Leslie organ-like sound he gets on the opener, “Take and Take” — the track I dug the most — and some nice electric 12-string riffing on “Drowning in My Fear.” He does go a bit over the top with the occasion al out-of-place hot-licks solo, like the one on the title track. Drummer Ed Blair and bassist Ted Pappadopoulos definite ly hold up their end and, along with Steffenhagen, provide plentiful, well-done harmony background vocals — a real plus. Lead vocalist/acoustic guitarist Dan Parks has a strong, accurate voice, but unfortunately doesn’t do much to distinguish himself in the lyric department. “I Do” is as sappy as a maple in early spring. And what does “hair like the wind” — a line from “Eyes Like the Sea” — look like? “Watch the News,” the one non-relationship song, offers little insight on a subject that’s already been strip-mined. These guys can play in tirrje and on key. and seem to have all the pieces in place. They just need some more inspired material to take it to the next level. (7) Paul Gibson —
r You have needs as well this holiday season...
sOUnd AdviCe continued from page 27
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8:30 p.m. $4/5. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Gallagher’s, 9
T h e R u sty N ail p r e s e n t s . . .
p.m. $5/8. JOEY LEONE DUO (Delta blues),
Mountain Roadhouse, 7:30 p.m. NC. RICK REDINGTON (rock),
Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3, followed by BLUE (rock), 9:15 p.m. $7.
Dec! i 25th:
HUGE C h r is t m a s | | | ( ^ _ p a rty w it h l
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9:30 p.m. NC. ORANGE FACTORY (acid soul/funk), Red Square, 9:30 p.m.
NC. SHADOWS FALL, HATE MACHINE, BARRIT, SHED, NEVER AGAIN (hardcore), Club Toast, 9
p.m. $5. METRO SWING (dance lessons), Club Metronome, from 7 p.m., $8, followed by DANCE PARTY, 10 p.m. NC. HOLIDAY VARIETY SHOW, Villa
Tragara, 6:15 p.m. $38/28 (includes buffet). LIVE MUSIC (rock), Gallagher’s, 9
p.m. $5/8. AVAILABLE JONES, THE NATU RALS, NOBBY REED PROJECT
(rock-blues; benefit for Moppo), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5.
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december 23, 1998
SEVEN DAYS
page 23
/ o r a// yo u r
e a b it a / y a i/ t 'y
by erik esckilse
Cale
uf Seven Days recommends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates may change after the paper is printed.
$20. Info, 291-9009.
kids
between three to five take a boo
22
STORIES AND CRAFTS: Children
break at Barnes & Noble, S.
cut and paste to the chase after a
Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. In fo,#
8001.
Marketplace, Burlington, 11 a.m.
STORY HOUR: Kids between
Free. Info, 865-2711.
and five engage in artful educafl
SNOWFLAKE CRAFT WORK
activities. Milton Public Librar
AMATEUR MUSICIANS ORCHESTRA: Vermont Symphony
SHOP: Kids o f all ages pitch in to
10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Infoj 893-4644.
violinist David Gusakov oversees this
Library, Burlington, 10 a.m. - noon.
weekly harmonic convergence o f ama
Free. Info, 865-7216.
sport
teur musicians in the Music Room, S.
HOMESCHOOLERS GYM AND
PICK-UP VOLLEYBALL. No
Burlington High School, 7:30-9:30
CRAFTS: Stay-at-home students take
how you set it up, this weekly V
p.m. $5. Info, 985-9750.
part in extracurricular activities at the Burlington Boys and Girls Club, Oak
adult game amounts to an even' >en exercise. Edmunds Middle Scho I
St., Burlington, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30
Burlington, 6:45-9:45 p.m. $2. W
A N N IE’: Northern Stage mounts the
p.m. $1. Info, 860-1299.
865-7088
Depression-era musical about a little
STORY TIME: Kids under three lis
music w
/A f W r x r
OUTLETS
D u r u n g io n •
d jo
-u
iu i
23 Park Street, Essex Junction 879-4092
Free Loaf of Bread
i
with $5.00 purchase 1 sf?" ; &T\r; ’
1
fr
1
____
BAKERYOUTLETS
•\
Lm mm
*- ’ j£
.. ■
page Y ; ;'-;V '*
drama
exp. Jan 15th, 1999
SEVEN DAYS
december 23, 1998
i i
PRESCHOOLERS: Young read**
morning story. Borders, Church St.
tuesday D A I/T?D 'V
Info, 652-7080.
deck the halls at the Fletcher Free^
■
orphan with a big heart. Briggs Opera
ten in at the South Burlington
etc
House, W hite River Junction, 7 p.m.
Com m unity Library, 10 a.m. Free.
FREE LEGAL CLINIC: Atto
season’s readings:
The trip is filled with wonderful little byways..."
initiated a bird count to m onitor the avian population. Today, the seasonal statistics
I? (Minneapolis
’Twas two nights before Christm as / A nd
T Star-Tribune)
outing spans the nation, w ith volunteer somewhere in tow n / M any poets were birders flocking together to eye the sky, reading / A nd puttin g on pounds. . . Well, then sending the data to A udubon’s nation they’ll be reading, anyway. A nd the m ore al office to be com piled. H eed the caw o f poets the merrier, says M arc Awodey, who is organizing the holiday event. In fact, he’ll
the wild. Saturday, December 26, in Plainfield.
give every participating poet o f Christm asSunday, December 27, in Rutland, all day. them ed verse a free copy o f John Dooley’s bawdy chap book, Oh, M y God, I Sat on M y Nuts. “A C h ild ’s Christm as in Wales” it ain’t. Wednesday, December 23. Rhombus Gallery,
Free. Info, 434-3068.
step lively:
T h e gifts are
Tupperware containers. Naps have been
Dan H u rlin ’s "The Sh o u ld er1
taken. But the party doesn’t have to end.
Saturday, Jan u ary 9 at 8 pm
Brush up on your ballroom moves at a w in
A 74-year-old Iowa man failed his eye exam and lost his license. Afraid of flying and unwilling to be driven, he undertook an epic journey to visit his ailing brother. Piloting a John Deere riding lawn mower, the man drove 250 miles along the shoulder of the road. Performer Dan Hurlin chronicles this poignant odyssey in this utterly original music theater work, which the Village Voice calls “a sweet tapestry of reflections on the American spirit, aging, and the nature of love."
unw rapped. T he bird has flown — into 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m . $3-6. Info, 865-3144.
winging it:
D orothy wasn’t the
ter waltz for singles and pairs alike. After
only little girl to find fantasy and adventure all, the next stop on the holiday party train over the rainbow. In the Finnish film Pessi is right around the corner — can you say dr Illusia, the daughter o f the rainbow her self, Illusia, flies away from hom e to mingle
N ew Year’s Eve? Saturday, December 26. C B ’s, Susie Wilson
with kindly trolls, get ripped o ff by thieving spiders and learn a thing or two about look ing after herself. Based on a book by Finnish naturalist C aptain Yrjo Kokko, the aw ard-w inning flick is filmed in ballet-like
Rd., Essex Junction, 8 p.m . $12. Info,
153 M ain Street, B u rlin gton , VT 8 0 2 .8 6 3 .5 9 6 6
862-2207.
mixed blessings: it
Storytelling... a giant secret being whispered faster and faster— hey, this is fun, this is piagic!” ( L a Angeles Times)
takes a village,” the First Lady says. A nd it sequences. Very young children m ight have a tough tim e w ith the subtitles, though.
(THEATRE)'
Media Support from
Sponsored b y j
takes diversity to m ake that village a stim u lating place to live. A Kwanzaa celebration
Saturday, December 26. Helen Day A r t trum pets m ulticulturalism in our m idst Center, Stowe, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 253-8358. w ith the them e, “Kujichagulia: We W ill
counting your chickadees: It was just one
D eterm ine W ho We A re.” T he Sam adhi Singers and the U m oja C horus put good words to music.
year shy o f a century ago that A udubon Sunday, December 27. Unitarian Universalist Society naturalists decided to break one tra Society, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, dition w ith another. As an alternative to the 862-5630. Christm as day ritual o f shooting birds, they
Flynn StcryFest
Celebrating Diversity through Stories dy Baird offers free legal advice to |nen with questions about family housing difficulties and welfare B)lems. Room 14, Burlington City , 3-5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7200.
GIVERS FOR THE MENLY ILL: Friends, family and anyne involved with the mentally ill get
pport at this monthly “share and Howard Center for Human
Explore and expand your range o f
olds enjoy stories, songs, fingerplays
motion at this informal gathering o f
and crafts. South Burlington
spontaneous movers and shakers.
Community Library, 11 a.m. Free.
Memorial Auditorium Loft,
Register, 652-7080.
Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info,
STORIES: Little listeners hear stories,
860-3674.
snack and make crafts at the
drama
TINY TOTS: Kids three and under
p.m.
hear age-appropriate tales at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free.
ices, 300 Flynn Ave., Burlington, t ERED
W OM EN’S SUPPORT
°>w p U P : Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. 3o(i. Free. Info, 223-0855.
Free. Info, 655-1537.
‘ANNIE’: See December 22, 2 & 7
Info, 864-8001.
-8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 862-6683-
I
Children’s Pages, W inooski, 10 a.m.
Tales for Adults: Friday, January 15 at 8 pm Tales for Families: Saturday, January 16 at 2 pm Tales from Latino, Appalachian, and African-American traditions. Magical yarns that inspire and entertain. Six nationally acclaimed storytellers celebrating our diversity in words and music. Judith Rivera and Ricardo Pons, tell The Monkey’s Tail” and other tales of Puerto Rico and Cuba. Kim Neal and Ron Short share Jack tales and mountain lore from the South. John O’Neal and Adella Gautier captivate with Brer Rabbit yarns and other stories from their African-American heritage. StoryFest is enhanced by workshops led by the artists— call for details. Sponsored by
BurlingtonJfree Press and
T h e K o u n try K a rt D eli
FIGURE DRAWING: The human Media Support for Friday's Performance f r o m V j o a S j ,/
figure motivates aspiring and accom plished artists in a weekly drawing ses
en|
sion at the Firehouse Center,
atii
Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6.
in association with
for Saturday's from
Community College of Vermont
F 1Y M H IfgcTHEATRE^^
153 M ain Street, B u rlin gton , VT 8 0 2 .8 6 3 .5 9 6 6
Info, 865-7165.
tednesday sic q o ^ ^ C T IK ZURN: Talented teens [y flS h arp, cello, violin, recorders and
words POETRY READING: Bring an origi nal Christmas poem to this winter wordsmithing and receive a copy o f John Dooley’s chap book, Oh, M y
‘eyh< ards at a mellow holiday hap-
God, I Sat on M y Nuts. See “to do”
enil g- Barnes & Noble, S.
list, this issue. Rhombus Gallery, 186
i H ngton, 2-2:45 p.m. Free. Info,
001 .
College St., Burlington, 8 p.m. $3-6.
kids PARENTS ANONYMOUS: Parents gather for support and assistance around the challenges o f childrearing. Babysitting goes with the program at two meetings in Burlington and M ilton, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info,
The W riters' Retreat in Vermont Wish you had uninterrupted time in which to write?
Peaceful, scenic village, delicious meals, reasonable rates, absolutely no distractions. Call or email for brochure. Retreats are offered for one week each month, and
872-9582.
by special arrangement There is private time in which to write as well as the company of other
Info, 865-3144.
writers.
K special
guest speaker will meet w ith us
one evening to share the challenges and the joy!
ince l U N G T O N C O N T A C T JAM:
kids STORYTIME: Four- and five-year-
BLOOD DRAWING: Give the gift o f life at the Red Cross Blood Centei
Kathleen Clow Peacham, VT 0S862
(802) 592-3S38 w riten@ together.net
december 23, 1998
Holiday Hours 'till 9pm -Sun: 10-6 • 859-8966
207 Flynn Ave. • Burlington
SEVEN DAYS
page 25
32 North Prospect St., Burlington, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Holiday Inn, S. Burlington, 10:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. Lincoln Hall Senior Center, Essex Junction, 8:30 a.m. - 1:30 p.m. Free. Info, 658-6400.
HEPATITIS-C SUPPORT GROUP: Three million Americans suffer from this still-incurable liver disease. A support group meets at Fanny Allen Hospital, Colchester, 6:30 p.m. Free. Info, 453-5532.
EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: Women suffering from depression, anxiety or any other mental or emotional problem find sorority in this 12-step support group. Seneca Center, Champlain Mill, W inoo ski, 6-7 p.m. Free. Info, 660-9036.
fridav Christmas day
etc
t.
HOLIDAY VISITS: The gift o f gab goes a long way for people stuck in area hospitals, prisons and nursing homes. Santa squadrons leave from Burgess Assembly, Fletcher Allen Healthcare, Burlington, 1 p.m. Free. Info,
a pint of good cheer
865-3065.
Saturday dance
:
BALLROOM DANCE: Whether you’re a born leader or follower, you can find a partner to waltz with at this pre-New Year’s event. See ‘to do’ list, this issue.CB’s, Susie W ilson Rd., Essex Junction, 8 p.m.
If you’re looking for a last-minute way to show Santa Claus you’ve been good this year, share a pint with a stranger on Christmas Eve. You won’t be hallucinating when you see of Kris Kringle rolling up his sleeve at all three locations. He’s got a lot to give, that guy. Help the Red Cross get back on track after a recent shortage in blood supplies and local food shelves by bringing a canned food item. Easy on the eggnog afterwards, though. Thursday, December 24. Red Cross Blood Center, 32 North Prospect St., Burlington, 10 a.m. 4 p.m . Holiday Inn, S. Burlington, 10:30 a.m. 3 :3 0 p.m. Lincoln H all Senior Center, Essex Junction, 8:30 a.m. 1:30p.m. Free. Info, 658-6400. -
-
$12. Info, 862-2207.
NEW GROUP THEATRE OF VERMONT ACTING
ACTING
ACTING
Announces resumption o f an acting workshop fo r actors o f all levels during the fo u r Saturdays in February, Noon to Five in Burlington. Class fills quickly, call now to enroll:
L
JACKWASCAUGHTINTHEBATHTUBATTHEMAL£ o
SEVEN DAYS
I
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A
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9 PM FREE
REAL
DANCEHALUREGGAE/HIP HOP 9 PM FREE
Fro m
SWING LESSON BEGINNER'S/ALL A G E S
1:30 also Sat 12/26 thru Sun. 1/3
tonioni
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R
I L L
£
to
toichi
6 P M S8
.1
i
at the
I
SA V O Y THEATER THE S A V O Y THEATER
26 Main S t Montpelier 223-0050
26 Main S t Montpelier 229-0509 1-888-676-0509
(or 1-800-898-0050 from 12-9)
december 23,1998
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Downstairs Video offers a wide selection of hard-to-find videos
M U S IC
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SEVEN DAYS
D
WIDE WAIL
!TUES 12/22
aO SED
page 26
N
8
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(802 ) 877-3646 STARTS FR ID A Y 12/25 6:30 & 8:55
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9 S V M M 3V r A A U V d S V N J .S I t i H 3 a i S U
>
k
f *
‘ -i
‘ANNIE’: See December 22, 2 & 8
drama
‘PESSI & ILLUSIA’: Based on a
‘ANNIE’: See December 22, 2 & 7
book by a famous Finnish natural
p.m.
ist, this fairytale film takes an “over the rainbow” approach to moral education. See ‘to do’ list, this Stowe, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 253-8358.
kids
dents take part in extracurricular activities at the Burlington Boys
drama
Free. Info, 658-1996. Also, the
and Girls Club, Oak St., Burling
Shelter Committee facilitates a
ton, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. $1.
‘ANNIE’: See December 22.
meeting in Montpelier, 5:30-7 p.m.
Info, 860-1299.
P.R Smith takes on Shakespeare,
POETRY READING: Read,
11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. Gailer School senior Michael Poulton shows what’s the matter in his science show, “Leapin’ Liquids & Gushin’ Gases.” Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington, 1 p.m. $2. Info, 8641848.
etc BIRD COUNT: It may be akin to counting grains o f sand, but natu ralists need your feathered figures to assess the local bird population. See “to do” list, this issue. Get the “cardinal rules” for Plainfield, all day. Info, 434-3068.
TERMINAL ILLNESS SUP PORT GROUP: Caregivers o f people who are terminally ill and others coping with death convene at the Vermont Respite House, 25 Prim Rd., Colchester, 9-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 434-4159.
Snowflake Bentley to inspire a round o f seasonal craftiness. Lake
tuesday
Champlain Basin Science Center,
$3-6. Info, 865-3144.
music
864-1848.
kids
AMATEUR MUSICIANS
reading. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, 8 p.m.
College St., Burlington, 7 p.m.
kids
STORYTIME: Children from
STORYTIME: Young readers delve
three to five enjoy stories, songs, fingerplays and crafts. South
half-hour happening. Borders,
Burlington Community Library,,
Church St. Marketplace, Burling
11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.
ton, 4 p.m. Free. Info, Info,
|
respond and relax at this open
dark props. Rhombus Gallery, 186
into classic and new tales at this
SCIENCE EXPERIMENTS:
‘SNOWFLAKE STORY TELLING’: Mary Grass reads from
musical reading with glow-in-the-
listen to literature read aloud. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington,
Free. Info, 223-0855.
words
$3-6. Info, 865-3144.
STORY TIME: Kids three and up
HOMESCHOOLERS GYM A N D CRAFTS: Stay-at-home stu
Helping Battered Women facilitates
‘RANDOM FRACTURES’: Artist Dylan Thomas and the Beats in a
issue. Helen Day Art Center,
BATTERED W OM EN’S SUP PORT GROUPS; Women a group in Burlington, 6:30-8 p.m.
monclay
p.m.
film
865-2711.
etc
SLIME WORKSHOP: Burlington
REPTILE AWARENESS WORK
ORCHESTRA: See December 22. ADAM WORKMAN: The virtu
High School students Nga Pham
SHOP: Meet resident reptiles in
and D ong Tran lead this slippery
the midst o f transforming them
how-to session entitled, “It’s N ot
selves for winter. Lake Champlain
What it Appears.” Lake Champlain
Basin Science Center, Burlington, 1
Basin Science Center, Burlington, 1
p.m. $2. Info, 864-1848.
p.m. $2. Info, 864-1848.
TEEN HEALTH CLINIC: Teens get information, supplies, screening
etc
and treatment for sexually related
BIRD COUNT: See December 26,
problems. Planned Parenthood,
Rutland.
Burlington, 3:30-6 p.m. Pregnancy
KWANZAA CELEBRATION:
testing is free. Info, 863-6326.
The Samadhi Singers and the
RUMMAGE AND NEARLY
Umoja Chorus sing at this African-
NEW SALE: The whole family
inspired celebration o f multicultur-
finds deals on clothes, household
alism. See “to do” list, this issue.
items and toys at a weekly yard
Unitarian Universalist Society,
sale. Ohavi Zedek Synagogue,
Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info,
North Prospect St., Burlington, 10
862- 5630.
a.m. - 1 p.m. Free. Info, 862-2311.
PREGNANT W OM EN’S SUP ers learn about the awesome changes ahead at this informal “wisdom circle.” Free. Info, 658-2478.
Burlington, 1 p.m. $2. Info,
STORY TIME: Kids under three listen in at the South Burlington Com m unity Library, 10 a.m. Free.
Info, 652-7080.
oso flutist gets Bach with an inter national group o f musicians. Ensemble and full arrangements o f
PRESCHOOLERS: Young readers between three to five take a book break at Barnes & Noble, S.
Gluck and Debussy are also in score. Vergennes Opera House,
PORT GROUP: Expectant moth
7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 877-6737.
drama ‘ANNIE’: See December 22.
Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.
STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful edu cational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free.
sport
Info, 893-4644.
PICK-UP VOLLEYBALL: See
etc
December 22.
FREE LEGAL CLINIC: See
words
December 22.
BATTERED W OM EN’S SUP
WRITERS’ GROUP: See
PORT GROUP: Meet in Barre,
December 22.
10:30 a.m. - noon. Free. Info,
kids
223-0855.
HOMEOWNERSHIP ORIEN
MAGIC SHOW: Kids three and
TATION: Potential buyers learn
up will be mystified by Marko the
how to shop and pay for a home at
Magician at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 2-2:45 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.
STORIES AND CRAFTS:
the Burlington Com m unity Land Trust, 179 South W inooski Ave., 5 p.m. Free. Register, 660-0642.
Children cut and paste to the chase after a morning story. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info,
865-2711.
continued on next page
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december 23, 1998
SEVEN DAYS
page 27
American frontier get discussed along with Silko’s Storyteller, by
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kids
JAM: See December 23.
‘YOU’RE ALL W ET’: Storyteller
C la s s e s a re co m p ile d b y L u c y H o w e . A ll s u b
Peter Burns presents water-based
drama
stories, poems, riddles and an
A NNIE’: See December 29, 2 &
experiment. Lake Champlain
7 p.m.
Basin Science Center, Burlington,
m is s io n s a r e d u e in w r itin g on th e
I p.m. $2. Info, 864-1848.
film
STORYTIME: Four- and five-
‘PESSI & ILLUSIA’: See
year-olds enjoy stories, songs, fin-
December 26, Golden Eagle
gerplays and crafts. South
Resort, Stowe, 7:45 p.m. Free.
Burlington Community Library,
Info, 253-8358.
II a.m. Free. Register, 652-7080.
art
STORIES: Little listeners hear
FIGURE DRAWING: The
stories, snack and make crafts at
human figure motivates aspiring
the Children’s Pages, Winooski, 10
and accomplished artists in a
a.m. Free. Info, 655-1537.
weekly drawing session at the
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Firehouse Gallery, Burlington,
under hear age-appropriate tales at
6:30-9:30 p.m. $3-6. Info,
Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10
865-7165.
a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001.
T h u r s d a y b e fo re p u b lic a t io n . S E V E N DAYS e d it s fo r s p a c e a n d s t y le . S e n d to :
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page 28
SEVEN DAYS
december 23, 1998
-
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r n
^QStorCarc^
aikido AIKIDO: Adults, Mondays - Fridays, 5:45-6:45 p.m. and 7-8:15 p.m., Saturdays, 9-11:45 a.m. Children, Tuesdays & Thursdays, 3:45-4:45 p.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 17 E. Allen St., Winooski. $40/month intro special. Info, 654-6999. Study this graceful, flowing martial art to develop flexibility, confidence and self-defense skills.
acting VERMONT ACTORS WORKSHOP: Six Wednesdays, January 20 through March 3, 6:30-9 p.m. Williston Central School. $95/six weeks. Info, 864-0119. Grace Kiley offers classes in acting improvisation or performance technique.
art ‘MIXED MEDIA — ABSTRACT ART’: Saturday, January 9, 10 a.m. noon. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Church St., Burlington. $10. Register, 865-7166. Children and par ents work together to create art in book form with collage materials and paint. FIGURE DRAWING: Ongoing Mondays, except December 28, 6-8:30 p.m. Fresco Studio, 1 Main St., Burlington. $3-5. Info, 862-4893. Artists of all abilities are welcome at this weekly drawing session.
business ‘GETTING SERIOUS’: Mondays and Thursdays, January 11, 14, 18,21. Morrisville. $115. Grants available. Info, 846-7160. The Womens Small Business Program helps you explore the possibilities and realities of business own ership, assess your skills and interests and develop a business idea. ‘START UP’: Beginning January 22. Burlington. ^ 1250. Grants available. Info, 846-7160. Take the next step ivith your enterprise idea — research and write a business plan and learn other skills, through the Women’s Small Business Program.
computer CYBERSKILLS VERMONT: Ongoing day, evening and weekend
classes. Old North End Technology Center, 279 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $39-349. Info, 860-4057, ext. 20. Take classes in computer basics, Windows 95, Office 97 applications, Internet or Web site basics. Private and custom classes are also available.
cooking CUISINE OF NORTHERN ITALY: Monday, January 11, 6-9 p.m. Isabel’s On the Waterfront, Lake St., Burlington. $40. Register, 865-2522. Learn to make a killer Bolognese sauce and other delectable dishes from northern Italy.
craft INTRODUCTION TO WEAVING: Nine Mondays, January 11 through March 8, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Northeast Fiber Arts, Williston Rd., S. Burlington. $155. Info, 865-4981. Learn to weave on a four-harness loom. Cost includes use o f a loom and materials for two samplers. INTRODUCTION TO KNITTING: Three Tuesdays, January 12, 19, and 26, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Northeast Fiber Arts, Williston Rd., S. Burlington. $40. Info, 865-4981. Knit a warm winter hat while you learn basic wood-working techniques.
dance TAP CLASSES: Saturday mornings beginning January 9. The Olympiad, S. Burlington. Info, 453-3921. Tap your way to fitness. SWING DANCE: Six-week session starting January 17. Burlington. $40/person for six weeks. Info, 8629033. Learn to do the Lindy Hop, the original style of swing. MODERN JAZZ: Tuesdays, January 5, 19 and 26, 6-7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, $8/class, $28/all four. Info, 860-3674. Get in shape as you learn to dance with grace, rhythm andflow.
healing ‘HEAL YOUR LIFE THROUGH FORGIVENESS’: Monday, January 4, 6:30-8 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $10. Info, 660-8060. Open your heart to self-
BS
love through lecture, guided meditation and group exercises.
kendo KENDO: Ongoing Wednesdays and Thursdays, 6:45-8:30 p.m. Warren Town Hall. Donations. Info, 4964669. Develop focus, control and power through this Japanese samurai sword fencing martial art.
kids THANK-YOU NOTES: Monday, December 28, 2-4 p.m. The Book Rack, Winooski. $28. Register, 6550231. Kids seven to 11 get pointers on how to write enthusiastic thank-yous — even for presents they don’t like.
kung fu ‘VING TSUN’: Tuesdays and Thursdays, 7:45-9 p.m. The Body Garage, Cherry St., Burlington. Info, 655-8671. This practical and applicable martial art promotes health, fitness and inner peace.
language ITALIAN: Ongoing individual and group classes, beginner to advanced, adults and children. Burlington. Info, 865-4795. Learn to speak this beautiful language from a native speaker and expe rienced teacher.
meditation ‘MINDFULNESS PRACTICE GROUP’: Sundays, 5:30-7:30 p.m. 35 King St., Burlington. Free. Info, 6609808. Join a group practicing Thich Nhat Hanh-style meditation. ‘THE WAY OF THE SUFI’: Tuesdays, 7:30-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, 658-2447. This Sufi-style meditation incorporates breath, sound and move ment. MEDITATION: Thursdays, 7-8:30 p.m. Green Mountain Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Suite 203, Williston. Free. Info, 872-3797. Don’t just do something, sit there! MEDITATION: First & third Sundays, 10 a.m. - noon. Burlington Shambhala Center, 187 S. Winooski Ave. Free. Info, 658-6795. Instructors teach non-sectarian and Tibetan Buddhist meditations.
Chow! Bella
GUIDED M EDITAP0N: Sundays, 10:30 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Free. Info, 985-2229. Practice guided meditation for relaxation andfocus.
photography PHOTOGRAPHY: Private or group, basic and intermediate classes. Grand Isle or Burlington. Info, 372-3104. Learn darkroom skills as well as how to choose, use and exploit the camera to express your creative style in color and black and white.
reiki REIKI CLINIC: Wednesday, December 23, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winposki Ave., Burlington. Donations. Info, 6608060. Experience Reiki, an ancient, noninvdsive, hands-on healing technique.
self-defense BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU: Ongoing classes for men, women and children, Monday through Saturday. Vermont Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Info, 660-4072 or 2539730. Escapefear with an integrated selfdefense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.
spirit ‘INNER JOURNEYS GROUP’: Monday, December 28, 6:30-8 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $3. Info, 660-8060. Focus on your “inner journey” through talking and group-guided meditation. ‘AURA PHOTOGRAPHY’: Thursday, December 31,11 a.m. - 6 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $25. Info, 660-8060. See your aura in full color. Get a two-page computer interpretation and a personal reading.
support groups NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, Help Line, 862-4516. I f you’re ready to stop using drugs, this group of recovering addicts can offer inspiration.
‘VERMONT COLONIAL LIFE’: Five Tuesdays, January 12 through February 9, 7-8 p.m. Ethan Allen Homestead, Burlington. $35. Register, 862-9622. Learn about clothingfashions, farming techniques and the influence of other cul tures in colonial society. ‘LAKE CHAMPLAIN THEN AND NOW’: Five Wednesdays, January 13 through February 10, 7:30-8:30 p.m. College St. Congregational Church, Burlington. $60. Register, 862-9622. Gain an understanding of Lake Champlain’s crucial role in the history of our nation.
writing POETRY WORKSHOP: Thursdays, 1 p.m. Ilsley Public Library Middlebury. Free. Info, 388-7523. Bring a poem or two to read and discuss at this ongoing workshop.
yoga KUNDALINI YOGA AND MEDI TATION: Wednesday, January 6, 6-8 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books, 125 S. Winooski Ave., Burlington. $8. Info, 660-8060. “Experience your divinity” through Kundalini Yoga and meditation, with Amrit Seva Kaur Khalsa. YOGA: Wednesdays, 7 p.m. Green Mt. Learning Center, 13 Dorset Lane, Williston. $8. Info, 872-3797. Practice yoga with Deborah Binder. BEECHER HILL YOGA: MondaySaturday, daytime & evening classes for all levels. Info, 482-3191. Get private or group instruction in therapeutic yoga, vig orous yoga, yoga for pregnancy or yoga for health and well-being. YOGA VERMONT: Closed December 24 through January 3. Daily classes, 12 p.m., 5:30 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday, 9:30 a.m. Chace Mill, Burlington. Info, 660-9718. Astanga style “power”yoga, classes offer sweaty jun for all levels o f experience. SHELBURNE ATHLETIC CLUB YOGA: Mondays, Astanga, 5:30 p.m., Tuesdays and Thursdays, Hatha 11:10 a.m. The Shelburne Athletic Club, Shelburne Commons. Info, 985-2229. Take classes in rigorous Astanga or relax ing Hatha yoga.
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SEVEN '
.S r
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Act of...Hollywood Continued from page 17
V,
.
the audience witnesses the films ultimate special effect: the inscription of the command ments themselves. This is accomplished by a divine finger of fire tracing Canaanite letters into the stone tablets as Moses wisely ducks behind a rock, his hair and beard growing whiter and fuller by the command ment. All of the movie’s special effects were hand-made, in real time, and for all their staginess still look delightfully odd, strangely credible and undeni ably special. During the 40 years that have passed since The Ten Commandments won its welldeserved Oscar for Special Elfects, the miraculous charac
ter of such effects has flipped to a decidedly anti-miraculous transformation of visual images by way of an inventory of pre
sessed of dazzling visual effects, and certainly, the animated Prince has solved several prob lems endemic to its biblical pre
Charleton Heston, whose pro found seriosity was more like a clumsy special effect than acting. W hat The Prince o f Egypt
In the analog world of the ’50s, special effects were the exception, not the rule — it wasn’t every day reality got bent, twisted and busted through. dictable digital tricks. No one wonders, “how did they do that?” anymore — only what machine did they do it on, using which cool program. In late 1998, enter Son of The Ten Commandments— The Prince o f Egypt. The pharaonic cartoon was rumored to be pos
decessor. There’s no waiting for staff and snake to get their busi ness fixed, no confusing mat shots of water running back wards and sideways, no bad wigs and beards. There’s no skipping over difficult-to-craft and disgusting plagues like lice and boils. And there’s no
has is this: 1. A flat and forever younglooking Moses who strongly resembles Pocahontas with a light beard, and who speaks with the voice of Val Kilmer. He’s as affable and affectless a prophet as one might wish to ignore, as easily imagined leap
ing out of the pages of a J. Crew catalogue as the Book of Exodus. 2. A slightly more chiseled, for ever young-looking Pharaoh, bearing a strong resemblance to Yul Brynner, who speaks with the voice of Ralph Fiennes — the only convincing actor in the lot. 3. A lot of running, whose hyper-real animation puts one in mind of the swift, springy step of a Spielbergian Velociraptor. 4. Plenty of high-tech water rendered in sundry scale and mood: oily-looking tears filling the depthless eyes and stream ing down the flat yet studiously expressive faces of the sensitives in the ensemble; Monet-in-aMixmaster shimmering pastel Nile; not incredibly bloody-
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looking, plaguey Nile; deep blue rollercoastery surf of vary ing height and intensity, depending on whether it’s sup porting a wicker basket or drowning Pharaoh’s army; a lysergic-acidy spume to kick off the parting of the Red Sea. 5. A high-speed chariot race through the scaffolding of an Egyptian construction site, whose thrills and spills will be familiar to anyone who’s left their allowance in a video arcade. 6. Big, big, big, historically cor rect backgrounds, except for the Sphinx, which, depicted just before its nose is knocked off during the chariot hijinks noted I above, bears a strong resemI blance to Clint Eastwood. I 7. A pretty good sandstorm.
8. A fantastic sequence of a hieroglyph come to life that makes one vainly wish the whole thing were done that way. 9. Lots o’ digital plasma such as we have seen many a time since its introduction in Poltergeist, ether that is rolled out whenev er the supernatural comes to call. 10. No commandments. Having climaxed at the Red Sea, the film comes to an abrupt halt with a brief God’seye shot of Moses’ back as he hikes down Mt. Sinai carrying the tablets to the pacific, happy Hebrews, who, this time around, must have been med icated before they left Egypt, for they bear no resemblance whatsoever to my famously
anxious kin. Neither special nor effective, I can’t imagine The Prince o f Egypt making any lasting impression on a child, and that’s too bad. Whether or not one shares the Pharaoh’s views on the existence of God, we’re all born wanting to get out from under him, and the story of the Exodus is central to the dream of liberation. If you’re looking for animation of the spirit through an animated medium, see A Bug’s Life instead. The smart little fable addresses the plight of the little guys and their eventual tri umph over the oppressor with a thousand times more heart, wit and sincerity than The Prince O f Egypt, and with a thousand times less piety and pretension. ®
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SEVEN DAYS
page 31
Black Horse
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a-bloom at Clarke Galleries in Stowe.
ongoing
FROM H0M E, recent paintings by Rona Lee Cohen. Red Mill Gallery, Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. Through January 5. DOROTHY MARTINEZ paint ings. Bread and Beyond, Williston, 878-1761. Through December. VERMONT PHOTO GROUP: An Exhibition of Photographs by Ten Area Artists. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through December. IMPRESSIONS, oil paintings by Lorraine C. Manley. Sugar Mill Art Gallery, St. Albans, 8937860. Through April. SEAN CALLAHAN, GINNY HILAND, NANCY MCKEEGAN,
Join us in the warm atmosphere of an, 18th century Chittenden home Comments from our customers: Exit 11, I-Sy, Richmond, VI
Dinner every night at 5pm 434-2870
“Enjoyed our dining experience immensely, Food was excellent.” Great atmosphere. Service warm and cordial. Thanks.” JUS I 10 MINUTES SOUTH OF
B urlington
page 32
SEVEN DAYS
december 23, 1998
watercolors and photographs. Woody’s Restaurant, Middlebury, 388-4182. Through January. LOIS FOLEY: PAINTING. Also, “An Installation of Deterrents,” by IRA BARTELL. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Through January 20. RUTH GREENE MOULD, Floral Pastels by the late Vermont artist. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Through January 9. MASTERFUL MUGS AND HOLI DAY ORNAMENTS, a seasonal
weekly
exhibit and sale of works by regional potters. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury Ctr., 2441126. Through December.
ing arts and crafts in all media. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Through January 17.
SKYSCAPES & SEA DREAMS,
RECENT DRAWINGS AND MODELS: Archetypal Forms
paintings by Pria Cambio. Katie’s Jewels, Montpelier, 2299649. Through December. APPROACHING LIGHTNESS, a mixed-media exhibit by 15 regional artists. FurchgottSourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through January 5. DIGESTING THE ENIGMA,
recent works by Orion Fredericks. Metropolitan Gallery, Burlington, 865-7166. Through December. MOSTLY WOMEN HANGING OUT, oil pastels, acrylic and
embroidery paintings and drawings by Sophie Quest. Daily Planet Restaurant Greenhouse, Burlington, 6581450. Through December. MATTHEW TH0RSEN PHO TOGRAPHS, new and older works. Also, JAZZ UNDER FOOT, photographs by Misha
Makarov. Red Square, Burlington, 859-8909. Through December. VERNISSAGE 1999, a retro spective of artists represented by the gallery. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through December. ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOW AND SALE, and silent auction featur
listings
on
and Entropic Buildings, mixec media by architect John Anderson. Helen Day Art Center East Gallery, Stowe, 660-3150. Through January 3. VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS,
the 18th Annual Festival of the Christmas Trees. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through January 3. 6TH ANNUAL TRADITIONAL ARTS Showcase and Sale, fea
turing crafts from Vermont and the region. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964. Through December 23. ART RESOURCE ASSOCIATION HOLIDAY EXHIBIT, mixed
media by members. City Center Lobby Gallery, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through January 3. TERRY RACICH, recent mono types and paintings on paper, and ANTHONY SINI, paintings and drawings. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144 Through January. WEBW0RKS, a creation of Japanese knot weed, nylon, acrylic and graph paper, inspired by Native American “dream catchers” and mathe-
www.sevendaysvt.coiu>
originals, show and sale at Higher Ground, Winooski, and Valley Air, South Burlington, 860-6220. Also sold at The body Shop, Muddy Waters and Peace &C Justice Store, Burlington. Through January 1.
media. Red,Mill Craft Shop, Jericho, 899-1106. Through December 30. DUANE MICHALS: Words and Images, photographs and writ-' ings by the American photogra pher. Also, KEITH HARING, sculptures, drawings and objects by the late artist. Montreal. Museum of Fine Arts, 514-285-1600. Both through January 10.
MINIATURE TOY THEATERS,
A MOMENT OF RISING MIST:
an exhibit of puppets and sets by students of puppeteer Emily Anderson, sponsored by Very Special Arts Vermont and Howard Community Services: Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through December.
Echoes of a Journey in China, photographs by Jeffrey P. Roberts. A Single Pebble Restaurant, Berlin, 476-9700. Through January 3. JANET MARTIN, paintings. Art Gallery of Barre, 476-1030. Through January 5. ORGANIC CURVES, watercolor paintings by Kate Hartley. Smokejacks Restaurant, Burlington, 660-2794. Through December. URBAN VIEWS: Really Big Art show and sale by Caravan Arts atists in a 4’ x 4’ format. Fletcher Free Library Mezzanine, Burlington, 8633403. Through December. SILKSCREEN PRINTS by Sally Stetson. Shimmering Glass Gallery, Waterbury, 244-8134. Ongoing.
matics, by Barry V. Miller. City Hall Showcases, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through January 4. VERY SPECIAL ARTS VER MONT annual holiday card
TRAVELS THROUGH VERMONT: Thomas Jefferson’s
Role in Vermont Statehood, 1791. An exhibit presented by the Jefferson Legacy Foundation. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through March 5. Also, A GLIMPSE OF CHRISTMAS PAST: Outdoor Fun and
Fireside Pleasures, through December. ASSORTED WORKS ON PAPER
in mixed media, by Leonard Duffy. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg, 482-3040. Through January. OLD BRICK CHURCH, new pho tographs by Fred Stetson. Dorothy Ailing Memorial Library, Williston, 878-4918. Through December.
A BOUQUET OF FLORALS,
performance, photography, sculpture and installation by Missy Bly and Josh Reiman. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington, 864-5884, ext. 149. Through December. Call for times of Missy Bly’s perfor mances.
paintings and drawings by Pria Cambio. Bellini’s Restaurant, Montpelier, 223-5300. Through January 1. BEADS AND MORE BEADS, an exhibit from the permanent collection showing how European glass beads have been used in clothing, containers and more. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 656-0750. Through December. ELLEN HOFFMAN, pencil draw ings, and TOM MERWIN, paint ings. Merwin Gallery, Castleton, 468-2592. Ongoing.
HAROLD ARTHUR DRURY & CAROL R0SALINDE DRURY, a
SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-con
father-daughter show of paint ings. Vermont Arts Council Spotlight Gallery, Montpelier, 828-3291. Through January 2. THE PRESENCE OF LIGHT, pas tels, watercolors and oil paint ings by Sally Loughridge. Isabel’s on the Waterfront, Burlington, 865-2522. Through December. PRINTS by Bill Davison. OneWall Gallery, Seven D ays, Burlington, 864-5684. Through December. UNEXPECTED PLACES, hand made prints by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. Through December.
structed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 229-1930. Ongoing.
COLOR-COATED: PHYSICAL AND PHENOMENAL WORKS,
FAMILY PICTURES & RECENT PAINTINGS by Alice Eckles.
Old School House Common, Marshfield, 456-8993. Also, RECENT PRINTS, Buffalo Mountain Coop, Hardwick. Both through December.
B a la n c e
titled, “Lois Foley: Painting.” It presents selections from about nine years’ worth of n a 1982 discussion with work, which moved her from B.F.A. students entitled “Careers in the Arts,” Lois abstract expressionism beyond Hans Hofmann, toward rein Foley did not paint a very terpretations of the abstract rosy picture. She told them qualities of nature, and into the arts required a total com her deceptively unembell mitment, and that a career as a genuine artist would require ished, untitled series of “grass paintings.” Throughout this sacrifices and hardships they transition, line has become had yet to imagine. She gave ever more prominent in her blunt, direct advice about being an artist that few of the works. Nevertheless, color remains a powerful instru assembled students had heard in school before, basically say ment in Foley’s hands. In a famous 19th-century ing, y o u h a ve no id ea w h a t y o u cartoon, Ingres and Delacroix are g e ttin g into, g iv e up n o w joust with paintbrushes over unless y o u are d e a d serious the issue of color versus line. a b o u t m a k in g art. That was Foley seems to have allowed Lois Foley then; this is Lois for the triumph of line Foley now. through a natural evolution. Foley’s vitae is almost Yet in works such as the 1991 seven feet long, and, like her paintings, there’s hardly a line “Tightrope Walker” and 1993’s “Encroachment,” Foley of fluff to be seen. Her 30year career as an artist, lectur balanced amazing harmonies er, teacher and arts activist has and dispaf^tpjmasses, while keeping line an auxiliary ele taken her around the country and the world. Foley has con ment. “Encroachment” utilizes at tinued to grow in new direc least a dozen distinct reds, tions always rich in both with variations of both value veracity and technical and intensity to subtly push prowess. She is always learn ing and working, and remains opposing grays into cooler realms that almost optically one of the gutsiest painters in mix toward green. Though the business. This is clearly demonstrat the execution appears sponta neous throughout, such a use ed in her current exhibit at Burlington’s Firehouse Center of color can only be described as inspired premeditation. for the Visual Arts, simply
By Marc Awodey
I
40 YEARS OF PHOTOGRAPHY,
featuring black-and-white pho tographs and books by Peter Miller. Peter Miller Gallery, Waterbury, 244-5339. Ongoing; by appointment only. 19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS including
landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Ongoing. FURNISHINGS AND PAINT INGS by Ruth Pope.
Windstrom Hill Studio/Gallery, Montpelier, 229-5899. Ongoing.
PLEASE N O TE :
Seven Days
is
g r a n n is g a l l e r y g r a n d
u n a b le to a cco m m o d a te a ll o f the
OPENING, featuring the work
displays in o u r readership area,
of designer/goldsmith Timothy Giannis and other jewelry artists. Bank Street, Burlington, 660-2032. Ongoing.
th us these listings m u st be
va a a n n u a l h o l id a y a r t
ft* 1
restricted to ex h ib its in tru ly
Even Foley’s etched lines in the piece serve to drive her colors home. “Tightrope Walker” grabs and shakes up a triadic har mony of blue-violet, orange and greens. Line in most these early ’90s works is pri marily used in structural axes. By mid-decade Foley was beginning to “marry abstrac tion and realism” in a series of large-scale paintings that began to use line to define rhythms. This is when the first grass images began to sprout, but in works such as “Naked Mother,” an abstract, often translucent peat-like subsoil seems to be the prima ry naturalistic image. Part of this shift in direction may be linked to sojourns in central Europe and Ireland, where Foley began to exhibit in the mid-’90s. If “Naked Mother” has anything to do with soil, it is a very ancient soil indeed. The recently completed grass paintings emerge from that soil to create a naturalis tic yet mystically abstract space. As previously noted, these are deceptively una dorned works. In these, Foley uses complex, nearly mono chromatic spears of verdure as a vehicle for moving line toward diffused manifesta tions of light. On the north wall of the back gallery in the Firehouse, three lightly valued skies of blue, red and yellow demonstrate a delicate balanc ing act, as dra matic as the bal ancing of “Tightrope Walker,” but without the asso ciated chromatic fireworks. Foleys transi tion as a painter should serve as an inspiration for all serious artists who have not given up, and who probably never will. ®
p u b lic v ie w in g places. A r t in business offices, lobbies a n d p r i v a te residences or studios, w ith
HOW AND SALE, featuring
occasion al exceptions, w ill n o t be
embers works in mixed
accepted.
L o is F o le y : P a in tin g , F ir e h o u s e C e n te r fo r th e V is u a l A r t s , B u r lin g t o n . T h r o u g h Ja n u a r y 2 0 .
december 23,1998
SEVEN DAYS
page 33
"THE MARK OF EXCITEMENT!" •TIMEMAGAZINE IOPK1NS
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W e 're m o re th a n a F u to n C o m p a n y .
J e n n i f e r S m i t h NC1MB
WEB OF DECEIT Hanks and Ryan play chat-room cheats in the latest from Nora Ephron.
F o rt T r e s s e s S a lo n In Fort Ethan A llen,
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Y O U ’ V E G O T M A I L * * 172
I have to admit this picture took me com pletely by surprise. First, I never dreamed I’d see a romantic comedy as addleminded as The O b jec t o f M y A ffection again this year. And second, I never dreamed it was possible for Meg Ryan to be even more shamelessly over-the-top cutsie than she was in the cloying C ity o f Angels. Someone really should tell that girl to reel it in a notch or two. Anyway, Nora Ephron (whose name is myste riously synonymous with pithy, quality cinema, though she’s made a career of directing and writ ing largely ho-hum fare like H e a rtb u rn , M ix e d N u ts and This Is M y Life) follows up her Sleepless in S ea ttle hit with a picture that is little more than a gimmicky, thinly written attempt to strike box-office gold again by reteaming Ryan and Tom Hanks. In watching You’v e G o t M a il, viewers aren’t asked merely to suspend disbelief; they’re obligat ed to disconnect their brainstems and embrace an almost surreal labyrinth of coincidence and improbable circumstance. Hanks and Ryan both live with attractive,
compatible partners (Parker Posey and Greg Kinnear, respectively). Both go behind their part ner’s back at the same moment and enter into an affair by e-mail (naturally without disclosing names, addresses, occupations, etc.). Both turn out to be in the book-selling business — Ryan has a quaint little children’s shop, Hanks heads up a chain of Barnes & Noble-style latte palaces. Both wind up with stores on essentially the same corner. Both develop a love/hate thing for the , other in real life. Both to varying degrees realize the other may be their on-line love, but both say nothing for no discernible reason except to stretch an iffy premise into a full-length picture. Chick-flick cliches abound (is there a law that every romantic comedy has to have the Cranberries song, “Dreams” in its soundtrack?). Characters are developed marginally, if at all. The first and second acts feel sitcom-contrived. And the film’s conclusion is, to say the least, foregone. Apart from four, maybe five reasonably funny one-liners, You’v e G o t M a i l fails to deliver — even by feel-good holiday fluff standards. Let’s just say fans who found themselves sleepless in S ea ttle aren’t likely to have that problem here. ®
R 25 - THURSDAY. DECEMBERS NICKELODEON CINEMAS ETHAN ALLEN CINEMAS 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040. Film times not available at press time.
CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610 *Stepmom 10:20 (not 12/25), 1:15, 4:15, 7, 9:50. * Patch Adams 10:45 (not 12/25), 1:25, 4:10, 7:10, 10. The Faculty* 4:40, 7:40, 10:10. Mighty Joe Young 10:15 (not 12/25), 12:50, 3:25, 6:30, 9:10. You’ve Got Mail 11:15 (not 12/25), 1:50, 4:25, 7:20, 10:05. Prince of Egypt 11 (not 12/25), 11:50, 1:30, 2:20, 4, 4:50, 6:20, 7:15, 9, 9:40. Jack Frost 12:10, 2:30. A Bug’s Life 12, 2:30, 5, 7:25, 9:45. Star Trek: Insurrection 7:35, 9:55. Rugrats 12:20, 2:35, 5:10.
SHOWCASE CINEMAS 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494. ‘ The Faculty 3:40, 6:50, 9:30. You’ve Got Mail 12:30, 3:30, 6:40, 7:10, 9:20, 9:40. Mighty Joe Young 12:50, 3:25, 6:30, 9:10. Jack Frost 1:10, 3:50. Enemy of The State 1. A Bug’s Life 12:40, 2:40, 4:45, 7:15, 9:15.
weekly oace 34 ‘•vT*
SEVEN D A YS
december 23,1998
•Af-VW'
listings
on
College Street, Burlington, 863-9515. *Stepmom 10:30 (not 12/25), 1:15, 4:10, 7, 9:50. ‘ Patch Adams 10:45 (not 12/25), 12:45, 1:30, 3:30, 4:25, 6:40, 7:15, 9:30, 10. ‘ Life is Beautiful 12:30, 3:15, 6:30, 9:10. The Prince of Egypt 11:50, 1:40, 2:20, 4,4:50, 7:25, 9:40. Star Trek: Insurrection 11 (not 12/25), 7:40, 1 0 .
THE SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509. Elizabeth 1:30 (Sat- Sun) 6:30, 8:55.
CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343.
'
PARAMOUNT THEATRE 241 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621.
STOWE CINEMA Baggy Knees Shopping Center, Stowe, 253-4678.
MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200.
www.sevendaysvt.com
p r e v i e w
s
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL Roberto
Benigni’s Holocaust comedy took the Grand Jury Prize at
thought to traditional limita
HALLOWEEN H2 0 * *
tions
character may be a guy named
{A w a k en in g s).
If you liked
those movies, you should love
Michael Myers, but my guess is
this one, in which he does
this latest installment in the
both. Based on the story of the
this year’s Cannes festival. In
real-life doctor, Patch Adams.
addition to directing and co writing, he also stars as an
Its central
n e w
H allow een
series will prove less
than shagedelic. From the writer behind those inexplica
Italian-Jewish father who tries
bly popular
to shield his son from the truth
With Jamie Lee Curtis and
about concentration camps by pretending the whole thing’s an elaborate contest with great prizes. PATCH A D A M S
Robin
Williams has bucked the system just to spread a little laughter {G o o d M o r n in g , V ietnam )
and
practiced medicine without a
Scream
movies.
LETHAL WEAPON 4 (NR) Chris
Adam Arkin.
Rock joins forces with Mel
M ADELINE
Gibson and Danny Glover for
and Hatty Jones star in this
what director Richard Donner
adaptation of Ludwig
promises will be the last install
Bemelman’s beloved children’s
ment in this lucrative but
book about a mischievous
increasingly lame action-come
French schoolgirl. With Nigel
dy series.
Hawthorne.
Frances Dormand
w h a t 's w r o n g w it h t h e s e p i c t u r e s ? A b o v e are photos of s ix of th e b e s t-k n o w n p e rfo rm e rs in the b u sin e ss . T h e ir fa c e s a re u n m is ta k e a b le , but less re c o g n iza b le , p e rh a p s , is w h a t fiv e o f th e s ix h a ve in com m on p ro fe s s io n a lly. W h a t w e ’ d lik e fro m yo u this w e e k is the nam e of th e sta r w h o d o e s n ’t b e lo n g , a lo n g w ith the reason w h y .
sh o rts rating
scale:
*
—
*****
Michael Keaton stars in this off-beat effectsfest about an aspiring musician who gets killed in a car accident and '■"J comes back to his wife and child in the form of a talking snow man. Okay. Kelly Preston and Joseph Cross co-star. THE PRINCE OF EGYPT (NR) The first traditionally animated release from DreamWorks studios tells the epic Old Testament story of Moses and features the voices of Val Kilmer, Sandra Bullock and Martin Short, among others, along with songs courtesy of Pocahontas composer Stephen Schwartz. JACK FROST**
MIGHTY JOE YOUNG (NR)
Disney’s latest live-action release offers a digitally enhanced update of a little-seen 1949 film about a giant misunderstood ape. Hmmm, sounds mighty familiar. Bill Paxton and Charlize Theron star. PSYCHO **1^2 If you’ve ever doubted for a second that the movie industry has become a 100% purely business proposi tion, the latest from director Gus Van Sant should erase all doubt. What is the possible point of a shot-for-shot remake of the Hitchcock milestone featuring Anne Heche, except a guaranteed profit for Universal studios on its $25 million investment? With Vince Vaughn and Viggo Mortensen. STAR TREK: INSURRECTION (NR) The ninth installment in the unscrubbable series stars Patrick Stewardtand takes place on a far away planet harboring the secret
NR - not reviewed
to eternal youth. Brent Spiner costars, Jonathan Frakes directs. ENEMY OF THE STATE* Will Smith and Gene Hackman star in Jerry Bruckheimer’s latest action package, the saga of an up-andcoming attorney framed for mur der by a shadowy intelligence operative. A BUG’S LIFE (NR) A n tz may have made it to the theaters first, but everything I’ve seen indicates Pixar’s clever computer-driven comedy will have no trouble committing insecticide at the box office. Featuring the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and David Hyde Pierce. BABE: PIG IN THE CITY (NR)
track contributions from Beck and Iggy Pop. THE WATERB0Y * * * 1/2 Adam Sandler plays a dimwit who rises to gridiron glory in this boxoffice phenom from the director of The Wedding Singer. With Kathy Bates and Fairuza Balk. WHAT DREAMS MAY C O M E****
Robin Williams stars here as a car-crash fatality whose widow (Annabella Sciorra) commits sui cide, and who then conducts a search for her with the help of Cuba Gooding Jr., who of course is also dead. Hey, does this have “feel-good” hit written all over it or what? PRACTICAL M A G IC ** 1/2 Griffin Dunne adapts Alice Hoffman’s 1995 best-seller about a pair of sisters descended from a long line of witches. Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman star.
Everybody’s favorite ham is back and, in this sequel to the 1995 Best Picture nominee, he leaves the farm for a taste of city life. Magda Szubanski and James Cromwell co-star. George Miller I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS directs. (NR) Jonathan Taylor plays a prep ELIZABETH (NR) Cate Blanchett school brat who discovers the true stars in this look at the life of the meaning of the holidays in the 16th-century royal. course of a cross-country trip MEET JOE BLACK** From The home. Jessica Biel co-stars. Scent o f a Woman to The Stench o f ANTZ (NR) In the first of the Death? Well, sort of. In the latest year’s two — count ’em: two — from Martin Brest, Brad Pitt animated bug sagas, Woody Allen plays a Grim Reaper who decides provides the voice of a drone who to get physical and sample the longs for both a more indepen pleasures of the flesh. Claire dent life and a female ant played Forlani, for example. With by Sharon Stone. With additional Anthony Hopkins and Jefrey vocal stylings courtesy of Sylvester Stallone, Jane Curtain and Tambor. RUGRATS (NR) The Emmy-winChristopher Walken. ning Nickelodeon series makes THE WIZARD OF 0Z (NR) The the leap to the big screen, and the musical classic is back in all its digitally enhanced glory. Pickles welcome a new member to the family. Mom and Dad, keep an ear pricked for sound
W HO? W HY? For m o re f lJ k f u n d on’ t fo rg e t to w a tch " A r t P a tr o l” w r y T h u rsd a y on Mews C h a n n e l 5! T ap es c o u r te s y of P a s s p o r t V id eo
L A S T W E E K ’S W IN N E R S
L A S T W E E K ’S A N S W E R S :
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1. THE FOUR S E A S O N S 2 . THE H A PPY HOOKER 3 . WHAT ABOUT BOB? A. 5. 6. 7. 8.
C H R IS T M A S STORY BIG ALIEN RESU RRECTIO N BANG THE DRU M SLOWLY THE BICYCLE THIEF
DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRSOFFREEPASSESPERWEEK SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ P0 BOX 68, WILLISTON, VT 05495. ORE»MAIL TOultrlnprd@aol.com. BESURETOINCLUDEYOUR ADDRESS. PLEASEALLOWFOUR- SIXWEEKSFORDELIVERYOFPRIZES. i y UoYD
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december 23,1998
SEVEN DAYS
page 35
;:U'v'
m -
.
The
Green ‘House’ Continued from page 19
S E V E N
niche — you can do quite well. Sustainable living is not even on the radar screen of the big publishers.” The niche can be pretty broad, encompassing exposes like the newly released G lo b a l S p in , Sharon Beder’s unmasking of the public relations industry, to the H u m a n u re H a n d b o o k , by J.C. Jenkins, which, as the title suggests, is the guide to the ultimate in recycling. The how to books are also much more than manuals on building or planting. Gene Logsdon’s
4 D A Y S S IN G L E S ’ P A R T Y at
Higher Ground was a huge success and we thank you for coming.
C o n tra ry F a r m e r’s I n v ita tio n to G a rd en in g ,
W e’d like to keep you updated as to the other singles’ events and parties we have planned for the future.
for example, com bines practical growing tips with piquant observations on everything from rhubarbs to agribusiness. Chelsea Green takes some risks in its choice of subjects, said Morris. Gov. Howard Dean may not want to legalize hemp, but Chelsea Green last year published H e m p H o rizo n s, by John W. Roulac. Subtitled T he C o m eb a ck o f th e W o rld ’s
Please fill out the form below, clip it and send it back to us at Seven Days, P.O. Box 1164 , Burlington, VT 05401 . W e’ll put you on our singles’ mail ing list and let you know about future parties. Name: Address:
i L
Phone: Email:
the book details how industrial hemp, the fiber-producing, non-psy choactive cousin of marijuana, can be used as a versatile crop for clothing, paper, food oil, even plastic. T he A p p le G rower, detailing how to grow apples organically, is also selling well. And Morris has high hopes for the Y 2 K a n d You, by Vermont author Dermot McGuigan, which Morris describes as a “sane persons guide to home preparation in new millenium.” The advent of the Internet has leveled the field for smaller publishing houses, according to Morris. Indeed, Amazon.com, the country’s leading on-line bookseller, named four Chelsea Green volumes to its top 10 “how-to” list in 1997. Several Chelsea Green Books were also featured on Amazon’s top list of gardening and home-building books. Last January, an on-line M o s t P ro m isin g P la n t,
Amazon article recently described the company’s prod ucts as “one of the best selec tions of environmentally friend ly, thoughtful and hopeful books of any publisher we know.” Still, publishing remains a notoriously difficult business. Booksellers often don’t pay their
R e a d e rs are
Trading Company, a California company that specializes in solar technology and sustainable living products. Eventually, he went to work full time for Real Goods, where he helped form a publishing relationship with Chelsea Green. Under Morris’ direction, Chelsea Green has also established a publishing
lo o k in g fo r
in s p ir in g w a y s to le s s
liv e w it h
im p a c t o n th e
bills for 120 days, and can col lect credit for any books they return. Chelsea Green and the entire industry suffered in 1996 due to record high returns. The privately held company, owned by about 30 investors, has turned a profit for three of the last four years, according to business manager Ted Mort imer. Profits in 1995 were $146,000 on sales of $1.07 mil lion; in 1997, the company had $1.15 million in sales, with profits of $77,800. The unex pectedly high returns in 1996 contributed to a $55,800 loss. According to Morris, it looks like 1998 will break all past records for sales and profits. The Baldwins — now back in Vermont after a year-long sabbatical in Oaxaca, Mexico — have turned day-to-day management of the company over to Morris, who was named publisher of the firm two years ago and became president late last year. Casually dressed with a seemingly permanent grin, Morris spent 12 years working for Vermont Castings, a Randolph-based company whose sturdy wood stoves were hot sellers in the years following the 1970s energy crisis. He was vice president for sales and mar keting at the company when it changed ownership in the late 1980s. Morris then consulted for a number of firms, including Chelsea Green and Real Goods
p la n e t .
alliance with Gardener’s Supply, a Burlington-based company with national catalog sales. The publishing partnership will bear three books in 1999, including a revised edition of P assport to G a rd en in g and S tra ig h t-A h ea d O rgan ic , authored by Vermont gardener Shep Ogden. Morris is an author as well as a manager. He’s written humorous newspaper columns on rural life as well as a book on home brewing. As a publish er of artfully presented tomes on building and gardening, he still doesn’t take himself too seriously. He clearly likes to find the humor in the humus. One Morris quote, posted on a computer in Chelsea Green’s cramped White River offices, reads: “Whoever said compost ing is better than sex needs a better partner.” Morris oversees a small staff of about a dozen employees, who sometimes must run — literally — to catch up with their well-heeled competitors. Sales manager Alice Blackmer, for example, wanted to attract Oprah Winfrey’s attention to a new Chelsea Green book. So when Winfrey — whose tele vised book discussions have cat apulted unknown authors, including Vermont’s Chris Bohjalian, to the top of best seller lists — was jogging in Chicago to promote her own fitness book, Blackmer put on her sneakers and ran along to
plug the new book. The exer cise proved unsuccessful, how ever, as Oprah declined to hype the book on her show. But writers clearly appreciate these guerrilla marketing techniques. John O ’Connor, co-author of W ho O w n s th e Sun, an expose on the subversion of solar energy development, said he’s gotten more help from the company’s two-person publicity department than he ever received from major publishing houses that carried his two pre vious books. He is also effusive in his praise of Chelsea Green editor-in-chief Jim Schley, who helped trim an unwieldy and lengthy work down to a read able form. “They were more enlightening than they were brutal,” he remarked. Schley, who got his editing apprenticeship fine-tuning poetry and fiction at T he N e w E n g la n d Review , lives off the electric grid and describes him self as a “solar evangelist.” His passion for clean energy was kindled in the 1970s when he organized opposition to the Seabrook nuclear plant in New Hampshire. As Chelsea Green editor, he has been able to bring that commitment before a larg er audience. Weisman, who has been on the lecture circuit ever since G aviotas came out, sees Chelsea Green as an anomaly in the publishing field. “In a world where vast corporations now rarely deign to engage with mere mortals directly — responding only to the clout of stockholders and relegating the rest of us to voice-mail prompts — a company devoted to quali ty and to what customers really want is a rare blessing. Chelsea Green is such a firm,” Weisman said, “but its only strength is in the books it publishes and the readers it pleases. It’s up to the latter to spread the word about the former, so that Chelsea Green can keep operating on the human level that makes it so valuable.” (7)
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SEVEN DAYS
december 23, 1998
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Christmas? By Flip B rown H I was the day before Christmas, and all through Vermont, I Not a skier was skiing, though that was their wont. The equipment was hung by the back door with care, In hopes that a big dump soon would be there. The ’boarders were bummin’, all floutin’ their dreads, While visions of fresh pow danced in their heads. My squeeze in her PJs and I in my cap, Wondering if ski trails would always be crap. • When up in my head there arose such a scam, I sprang to the ’net, like a bum on the lam. Away to the Web sites I flew like a flash. Colorado! I thought, we’ve got enough cash.
More rapid than eagles I punched in my card, : V; And the words said, “SOLD OUT.” I took the news hard. Now dammit! Now fudpuck! Now curse your own brother! On blizzard, on storm front, on snow-like-a-mother! Fill up the front porch, and bury the wall! Then carve away! Carve away! Carve away all! As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly, So too do the snowflakes, for which I cry. It is the season for which to go play, But nothin’ but man-made, day after day. And then in a twinkling, I heard on the street What sounded like snow — oh, hell, it’s sleet. As I drew in my breath, and was turning around, I thought of Cancun, and leaving this town. Then came my neighbor, a big old galoot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. A large Wal-Mart bag he had flung on his back, And he looked like a junkie who’d run out of smack. His eyes, how blurry! His gait so unsteady! His nose was like Rudolph’s — a big friggin’ cherry! His new snowmobile sits ready to go. Perhaps hes the reason there just ain’t no snow. The stump of a tree pokes out of the slope, It’s almost enough to resume doing dope. I’m getting quite fat, with my very soft belly; I can’t hit the backwoods, for even a telly. I’m chubby and plump, a cantankerous elf, And I laugh at this drought, in spite of myself. No wink of the eye, or twist of the head Will bring back deep snow (or the old Grateful Dead). I speak not a word when I show up for work, But inside they know, ’cause I act like a jerk. And laying m.y middle finger aside of my nose, Not giving a damn, from my seat I arose. I sprang to the bathroom, pretending to go; I m so freakin’ bored, without any snow. But you’ll hear me explain, as I drive outta sight, Merry Christmas to all, a n d i t b e tte r be w h ite! ® :r?
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I dreamt of the moon on the new-fallen snow. And sweet arcing turns to the valley below. When what on my Yahoo! results should appear But a cheap trip to Whistler, in the New Year. With an awesome exchange rate, to make it more sweet, I knew in a moment it couldn’t be beat.
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a municipal annual report than a treatise on the history of recreation and leisure in Addison County. Turns out the little book is full of fun and “amusing” facts about the rise of rural sports and entertainment — in 840 the Middlebury Congregational Church excommunicated a male con gregant for dancinjg at a pri vate party. Several decades later, there was little objec tion to the traveling minstrel shows that passed through Vermont, most of which were unapologetically racist. Originally a senior thesis, the book was written by a histo ry major at Middlebury College. Margaret KlineKirkpatrick definitely did her homework.
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IN BRIEF: The proof’s in the printing, you might say, especially in H e llb o x — a slim volume of poetry by Greg Delanty which recalls his printer father in Ireland and the lost art of “hot” typesetting. Named for the bin in which broken metal type was tossed before recast ing, the book, like its author, straddles both sides of the Atlantic: old-world industrial and new-world melting pot. It’s a great gift for poetry types . . . There’s only one job offer that could get Dwight Garner to leave the book beat at S alon magazine — an editing post at The
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Garner, who got his writing start at The V an guard Press, is moving across the street — that’s Time Square — the first week of January. A writ ten critique of the section was part of his interview. That just leaves the drug test . . . P atch A d a m s is based on a doctor who practices magic and medicine in West Virginia, but the book that inspired the movie was pub lished in Vermont. Twentythree-year-old Inner Traditions puts out mostly spiritual titles, but struck it rich with G esu n dh eit , about an eccentric physician who describes himself as “a pie in the face of the American medical establishment.” The star of the flick? Robin Williams, M.D. . . . Homeopathy is the subject of the latest from Chris Bohjalian, whose recent appearance on “Oprah” assures him a very merry Christmas, indeed. Sounding a lot like M id w iv e s , The L a w o f S im ila rs concerns an alter native healer whose asthma patient falls into an allergyinduced coma. Bohjalian, on the other hand, appears to be holding up well — he leaves this week on a national tour that spells marathon book signing at every stop — but is long overdue for a case of writer’s cramp. ®
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SEV E N B A Y S
page 37
on the Web on the Internet better than in traditional media. One is that the Net is where the news often breaks. Another is to get the points of view you might not otherwise get. But our favorite reason is to get the news you want w hen you want it, rather than the news someone else wants you To hear when they want you to hear it. One of the big impeachment stories that broke on the net was Salon magazine’s story about Rep. Henry-the-Adulterer Hyde’s child out of wedlock (see www.salonmagazine.com/news /1998/09/cov_l 6newsb.html for all the details, including the picture). On December 17, the Web version of R o ll C a ll (www.rollcall.com) broke the news of Rep. Bob-theAdulterer Livingston’s extra marital affairs. Lucky for them the press got to them before they had a chance to testify. One of the things the Web does best is collect all the information relevant to a par ticular issue. Unfortunately, the model most Web content
By Jordan and Margaret Levine Young
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s a fine mess we’ve gotI ten ourselves into.” That ■ Laurel and Hardy quote sums up our opinion of what’s going on in Washington. And it’s all over the World Wide Web, too. This column is a lot more political and less techie than a we usually do. We were seized with a sudden attack of “con science,” but it seemed to us like some of this needed to be said. Like most people, we’re sick and tired of Bill and Monica, Henry and Cherie, Bob and what’s-her-name, Helen and Vernon, and the other Dan and his call girls. So what are we doing writ ing about it? For one thing, it’s the first big scandal of the Internet age. At least two big stories have broken first on the Web. For another, at moments we feel that we ought to at least know who the players are and what people are talking about. For a number of rea sons, we like reading our news
providers follow seems to be either one resembling televi sion, where you see what’s hap pening now — or magazines, where you see what the editors think makes a good package for “an issue.” The CSPAN Web site (www.cspan.com) is a very pleasant change of pace on the impeachment inquiry. Whenever there’s a hearing or something similar, CSPAN, like other sites, has live audio and video feeds (and remem ber, video on the Web is a bad joke). They also have a lot of background material that is fairly well organized. You can read each of the articles them selves, as well as many of the hearings and source docu ments. We were particularly happy to see links to The F ederalist Papers numbers 65 and 66. We know that The F ederalist Papers have a lot to say about the impeachment issue, but who knows which are relevant? Now we do. Getting through to the CSPAN Web site can be hard and sometimes slow, but the aggravation is worth it. Sometimes, all you get is an error message. The Internet is made up of a bunch of client computers like yours, server computers (the ones that dish out the information you want to see), and a bunch of com puters in the middle that should, and usually do, remain invisible. Any server on the Internet can be connected to only a limited number of client computers at any given moment. If the computer you
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want to get service from is full, you get an error — the Internet busy signal. Fortunately, the “redial” but ton, called Reload, is at the top of your browser window. Just keep clicking it until you get the page you want. For an audio feed of the events, try the National Public Radio site instead at www.npr.org. For the quick take on what’s breaking nationally, you can’t beat the Associated Press. The wire service supplies news content to newspapers and magazines all over the country. The website — at wire.ap.orglist — gives you a list of all of them, with hot
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Year’s Eve without warning. All those flashing lights turn us right off, and could be down right dangerous for the seizuresusceptible. If you want to participate in the Washington madness, many Web sites aim to help you out. You may have heard about Realitycheck (www.realitycheck.com), a site that tries to get people outside of poli tics to discuss issues civilly and with open minds. Heard enough debate? Then check out M oveOn.com (www.moveon.com), whose goal is to get the Congress to censure the President, and then move on to other issues. Those
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links for easy access. NewsDay has a nice bare-bones AP feed that we like because it’s fast, at www.newsday.com/ap/national.htm. In case you’re w onder ing why we like a barebones approach to present ing Web content, check out Broadcast.com at www.broadcast.com/video/courttv. Here’s a living example of why Web design elements should be used carefully: Visiting this site is like getting dropped into New York’s Times Square on New
you
who favor a harsher outcome should check out TownHall.com (www.townhall.com), especial ly the “Rush Room” home of you-know-who and his friends. Jordan Young an d M argaret Levine Young w rite about computer a n d the Internet from their home in Cornwall, Vermont. M argy Levine Young (margy@gurus.com) is coau
o/The Internet For Dummies, 5th Ed., an d Windows 98: The Complete Reference thor
(net.gurus.com). (Z)
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SEVEN DAYS
december 23, 1998
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lease note: refunds cannot be granted for any reason, adjustments will be credited to the advertiser's account toward future classifieds placement only, we proofread carefully, but ■ en so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error is limited to repubtication, ■ any event, liability for errors (or omissions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or omission), all advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven net I ys reserves the right to edit, properly categorize or decline any ad without comment or appeal.
SEVflBAYS'1'
p a te S S R
V
70 Classifieds • 864.5684
V O L V O Christmas Ideas from
[m a r tin ^ v o li\vo OIL: THE RIGHT STUFF? D e a r Tom a n d Ray: I w as w ip in g th e cobw ebs o f f m y ow n er's m a n u a l f o r m y ’8 5 C h evy C aprice, a n d i t h a p p en ed to f a l l open to the p a g e a b o u t o il changes. I t says I sh o u ld use an o il th a t has an A P I d esig n a tio n o f S E The oils I'v e been using, how ever, h ave been d e s ig n a te d S H a n d SJ. A m I d o in g m y en gin e an y h a rm ? — B a s il
RAY: Absolutely not, Basil. TOM: The ratings are per formance specifications for the oil. Basically, the higher the second letter, the better the oil. RAY: SJ is currently the top of the line, but you may still see both SH and SI on store shelves. When a new desig nation appears, it just means that the standards have been raised, and the new oil (in this case, SJ) meets those higher standards. TOM: The reason the stan dards keep going up is not due to some noble pursuit of divine lubrication. It's because engine manufactur ers are trying to meet increasingly stricter govern ment regulations for fuel economy and emissions. And improving engine lubrication is one way to help meet those standards. RAY: So SJ oils may have higher standards for viscosi ty, volatility, deposit control and filterability, among other "oily" properties. TOM: When your Caprice was built in 1983, SF was as good as it got. But it never hurts to use better oil than you need, so anything above SF is fine for you.
RAY: By way of comparison, when my brother's ’63 Dodge Dart was made, they weren't even using letters yet for oil designations. All it said was, "Caution: Do Not Use Whale Blubber in Crank Case." D e a r Tom a n d Ray: I w o u ld lik e y o u r help in f in d i n g a f l i p c e llu la r p h o n e to use in a 1 9 9 5 Lexus L S 4 0 0 . We n eed th e h a n d se t only. To p u rch a se i t fr o m the d ea ler w o u ld cost a ro u n d $ 7 5 0 . C an yo u b e lie v e th at? I w o n d er i f y o u can help. — Paul
RAY: We can help, but we won't, Paul. We're opposed to the use of cell phones in cars for anything other than emergencies. We think it's immoral, unethical, incon siderate and downright stu pid. TOM: I would say that four out of five times that I see drivers do dumb things on the road (cutting me off, drifting into my lane or pulling out of a driveway without looking), they've got cellular phones up to their ears. It's obviously too distracting for people to think, talk on the phone, and drive at the same time, and it ought to be illegal. RAY: Why is it more dis tracting than listening to the radio? Because it's interac tive. Someone is speaking to you, which requires you to listen, process what's being said, and then respond. And having a conversation requires a certain amount of brain power — brain power that is then not being used to operate a 3000-pound moving vehicle. TOM: And why is it more
distracting than having a conversation with a passen ger? Well, for one thing, a passenger can see when you're trying to merge into traffic, or back out of a drive way, and will usually under stand if you stop speaking and concentrate on the task at hand. The person on the other end of the cell phone has no idea what's going on with you. Not to mention that you never have to take your eyes off the road and "dial" the person in the pas senger seat. RAY: I know we're going to get tons of hate mail — especially from the cell phone makers and service providers — but that’s our position. We think cell phones in cars are unsafe. My favorite cell phone car toon is of a guy who has crashed head-on into anoth er car. The guy who caused the accident is speaking on his cell phone, and the cap tion is, "I'll have to call you back." Get Tom and Ray's best selling pamphlet, "Ten Ways You may Be Ruining Your Car Without Even Knowing It!" You 're probably doing at least one o f them. Send $3 and a 55-cent SASE, No. 10, to Ruin, POB 6420, Riverton, N J 08077-6420. Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care o f this newspa per, or email them by visiting the Car Talk section o f cars.com on the World Wide Web.
1 5 % O ff ALL VOLVO personal accessories, including hats, shirts, sweat shirts, mugs, car models, ties, first aid kits and m uch more! 1 5 % O ff ALL GEN UINE VOLVO roof to p accessories, including EuroRails, load bars, bike and ski adapters, and m uch more! 1 5 % O ff ALL THULE accessories from load bars to cargo boxes. Ski boxes from $ 177.95
Happy Holidays,
and we want to thank all of our customers for an excellent year!
martin
vo
Shelburne, VT 1-800-639-5088 Have a safe and happy holiday!
802-985-1030
K .A .- R .Z .
IS A FULL-SERVICE AUTO REPAIR CENTER TIRE CHANGEOVER SPECIAL — 2 TIRES MOUNTED & BALANCED — VALVE STEMS Check our used car selection - great winter buys!
$16
Bring in Coupon!
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Snow Tires (Most major Brands available) Tire Service — mounting, balancing, tire studding, Interstate computer 4-wheel augment Batteries in stock!
Member of
Kevin’s Auto Repair “Z” After Hours Drop-Off Service 6 Gregory Drive, Suite 2, South Burlington ATM cards Tel. 660-0866 • Fax 660-2018 Shuttle Rides accepted
NEW HOURS: M 0 N -F R I 7 :3 0
a m
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5 :3 0
p .m
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CALL FOR SAT HOURS
L et tkene be U^Kt. H appy S o lstic e . Fikom S even P a y s j/
page, 40 /VjEVfN;0AYS sodecembjeF;2&jJ998
Classifieds • 864.5684 CLEANING SERVICES RESOLVING TO CLEAN UP YOUR ACT? No need to go it alone. Call Diane H., house keeper to the stars. 658-7458. “ When power corrupts, poetry cleanses...and I hear Poetry is their middle name.”—John Fitzgerald Kennedy. GIVE YOURSELF THE GIFT OF having your home cleaned and you’ll have the energy and time to pursue your New Year’s resolutions. I offer reliability and quality cleaning at reason able rates. Refs, available. Call Cheryl, 860-1039.
DATING SERVICES
BUY THIS STUFF
nnection
WOLFF TANNING BEDS TAN AT H O M E B U Y D IR E C T A N D S A V E ! C O M M E R C IA U H O M E U N IT S F R O M $199 F R E E C O LO R CATALOG C A L L T O D A Y 1 -800 - 842-1310
HOMEBREW MAKE GREAT BEER AT HOME for only 500 a bottle. Brew what you want when you want! Start-up kits and prize-winning recipes. Gift certificates are a great gift. Vermont Homebrew Supply, Rt. 15, Winooski. 655-2070.
COMPATIBLES. HOLIDAY SPECIAL: Singles meet by being in the same place as other singles. We’ve made this the best time to connect you. Call for details, 863-4308. www.compatibles.com. N.E. SINGLES CONNECTION: Dating & Friendship Network for relationship minded Single Adults. Professional, Intel ligent, Personal. Lifetime . membership, Newsletter. For Free info, (800) 775-3090.
TUTORING MATH, ENGLISH, WRITING, Science, Humanities, Proof reading, from elementary to graduate level. TEST PREP for GRE, LSAT, GMAT, SAT-I & II, ACT, GED, TOEFL...Michael Kraemer, 862-4042.
Call 864 -' A to respond to a listing or to be listed.
MIDDLEBURY/BURL./SO. BURL to BARRE: I am looking to share driving to work. Willing to meet half-way, preferrably on Rte. 7. Hours are 8 to 5, M-F. (3057) RICHMOND to ESSEX JUNC TION: I am looking for a ride to work M-F, generally 9 to 5, but can be very flexible. (3059) UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON: I am looking for a ride to work MF, 8:30 to 5. (3055) BARRE to BURLINGTON. I am a student looking for a ride M,W,F, 8 a.m. Flex, return. (3051) HINESBURG to BURLINGTON. am looking for a ride to the U Mall M-F, around 9:30 a.m. (3040) GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON. I ’m looking to share driving on a smoke-free commute to work. Hours are M-F, 9 to 6 , some flex. (3038) SO. BURLINGTON to MILTON. I am working on a house in Milton for a month and seeking a ride to the site M-F at 7 a.m. (3036)
RED MEAT Look, N ick...yo u ’ve been our basketball coach here at Bronson for nine years. In that tim e we haven’t won a single game, but I’ve never held it against you, have I?
No, but how’re we supposed to win games when all I have to work with are weak-kneed, simpering little crybabies?
MIDDLEBURY to BURLINGTON. I’m a working student looking for a ride Tues. or Weds, to Burl./returning Fri. or Sat. eve to Middlebury. (3035) MORRISVILLE to WILLISTON. I’m looking to share driving on my trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8 to 4:30. (2997) BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I am currently earless and looking for a ride to work M-F. My hours are 8:30 to 4:30. (3031) SWANTON to ST. ALBANS. I am a late sleeper looking for a ride to work at noon. I work M-F, noon to 7 p.m. or later. (3033) BURLINGTON to SO. BURLING TON. I am a recent arrival to town looking for a ride to work M-F, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. (3028) BURLINGTON to COLCHESTER. I am a teachers’ aide looking for a ride to Colchester. My hours are 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (3026)
BURLINGTON to SUGARBUSH. I am a ski bum working at Sugarbush this season looking to share driving to/from the moun tain. My hours are 8 to 4, vary ing days. (3022) WINOOSKI to ESSEX JCT.: I am looking for a ride to IBM. I work 7 p.m. to 7:30 a.m., schedule varies. (3024) BURLINGTON to U-MALL. I am being relocated to the mall and am seeking ride M-F/S, 9 to 6 . (2999) RICHFORD to BURLINGTON. I work weekends and am looking to share driving. Hours are 6 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. (3001) HYDE PARK/JOHNSON to WILLISTON. I am looking to share driving on my long trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8:30 to 5. (2997) PLATTSBURGH/GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON. I am a nurse working the graveyard shift, 1 1 to 7, various days of the week. I’m looking to share driving with someone dependable. (2993) SHELBURNE to RICHMOND. I work 9 to 5, M-F & looking to share driving. (2814) BURLINGTON to SO. BURLING TON. I am an energy-conscious night owl looking for a ride one way to work around 4:30. (2983)
th e b ro w n is h s p la t t e r s on ail t h a t m a t t e r s
As principal here, I’ve overlooked your harsh and unconventional methods for a long tim e, but the parents are getting very upset so I’m putting my foot down.
BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I am a new arrival to the area looking for a ride to and from work. My hours are 8-5, but I'm flexible. (2985) BURLINGTON to JEFFERSON VILLE. Would you like to have company on your commute to work 2 or 3 days per week? I’m willing to ride along or share the driving. Work 7:30 to 5 p.m. (2892) BURLINGTON to SHELBURNE. With all the construction on Shleburne Rd. & only one person in most cars, how about helping reduce the congestion? I’d like to ride w/ someone & willing to pay. Work 8 to 4:30, M-F. (2905) BURLINGTON to STOWE. I’d like to hook up with someone and share the ride to work. I work 8 to 4:30 p.m., M-F with some flexibility. (2906)
V e r m o n t,!
Rideshare
from the secret files of
Max cannon That’s the problem, Nick. It’s a girl’s junior high basketball team. Try to lighten up a little, for god’s sake!
Well, maybe if their mamas w eren’t so soft on them , I might have an easier time making men out of those mewling little pantywaists.
Girls, eh? No wonder they run like sissies.
©1998 MAX CANNON WWW.REOMEAT.COM
The
Straight
'j o * A *
Dear Cecil,
y
Lately I ’v e been hearing nasty little rumors th at my favorite addiction is ju s t that. ..a n addiction! Is i t true th at Chap Stick a n d others o f th a t ilk contain ingredients that Make you long fo r more? Is i t true th at the evil executives o f hese companies are preying on hapless lip dickers such as myself order to buy baby a new p a ir o f shoes? Tell me it a in ’t so! - Licking M y Lips in A nticipation o f Your Answer, via A O L
You think you know what I’m going to say. You think I’m going to say it ain’t so, that people who complain about “lip balm addiction” are whiny losers who could probably get addicted to Froot Loops, and how dare they waste good brain cells worrying about this when there are so many other problems you could have, like overdue library books. But I’m not going to do that. I’m tired of it. Where’s the fun in shattering the vapid illusions of a bunch of pathetic, self-pitying, spineless, neurotic, sheeplike...well, okay, sometimes it’s fun. But this week we’re trying a new approach. We’re validating personal realities! We’re being accepting and nonjudgmental! We’re believing any damn thing we hear! So yeah, of course Chap Stick, Blistex and other lip unguents are addictive. Pity me, brothers and sis ters, I got that Carmex monkey on my back. For testimony, we turn to the Web page for Lip Balm Anonymous at http://www.kevdo.com/lipbalm/home.html. Some quotes: • “[I want to tell] of my tragic story, my near recovery, and how I fell off the recovery bandwagon. I have 46 different flavors and kinds of lip balm... I once had a teacher tell me there was more to life than lip gloss. At that time I didn’t believe him, but I [now] admit that I have a problem and need help. I have now joined LBA and have begun work ing on the 12-step program.”
“I, too, am addicted to lip balm...It got to a point where my lips were so slick I could not eat any food. Kissing was pointless. On a high point, I was able to kick my smoking habit because the cigarettes kept slipping off of my lips...Just call me...Lip Balm Slave.” • “My name is Betsy...and I use. I now realize I have been a lip balm addict for probably about 25 years. I am SOOOOO relieved to find this Web site!!!.. .When asked by friends about people, CDs or books that I would bring to a desert island, I am instantly horrified by the idea of
being stranded WITHOUT LIP BALM, or running out! I am sick! I need help!! MUST STOP LICKING LIPS!!!” Yowsah. The LBA people are particularly vociferous on the subject of Carmex, made by Carma Labs. They write: “Carma Labs does admit to putting salicylic acid into their lip balm, and they acknowledge the rumor that they put ground fiberglass into the lip balm. But, they do not deny this rumor! Frankly, Carma Labs sounds like a mob crime family to me!” Wow! Us too! We called up the folks at Carma Labs to see what feeble riposte they could make against this damn ing indictment. We spoke to Paul Woelbing, grandson of Alfred Woelbing, who founded the company in 1936 and is still nominally in charge. Paul, obviously hardened by years of exposure to this sordid enterprise, was pretty cool about the whole thing. “Oh, sure, it’s addictive,” he said. “We add heroin.” We detected sarcasm here. Paul knew all about the rumors, including some we hadn’t heard (e.g., Carmex is carcinogenic), but assured us they were ground less. Right, Paul. You just don’t want to get cut out of the old man’s will. Salicylic acid, by the way, is not that kind of acid, man. It’s a component of aspirin that serves as an antifungal and antimicrobial agent. Three other ingredients — menthol, camphor and phenol — account for the legendary Carmex lip buzz. Hold on, this just in from my assistant Jane: “I contact ed someone from Blistex who called back and left a mes sage on my answering machine. Shespoke slowly, emphati cally, spacing out the words so that I’d digest them and presumably quit entertaining ridiculous thoughts: ‘Lip...balm...is... n o t. ..addictive.’ With the same authority that nuns used to tell us that talking in the hallways would earn us more time in purgatory.” That may be your take on it, Jane. I say she wasqust under the influence of the drug. CECIL ADAMS
ls there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.corn.
1
00 D e c e m b e r - Z ^ f 998
: VS IV E N D A Y S
Clas ADULT
NASTYGIRLS!!! Hot! Live! 1 -800-4 58-64 44 1 -900-4 35-44 05
™ 'n 18+
TALK WITH LIVE HOT BEAU TIFUL GIRLS!! No waiting! Immediate 1-on-l connection!! 24 hrs!! 1-900-787-9526, ext. 9202. $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. Serv-U (619) 645-
84341
PHOTOGRA PHY STUDIO LIGHTING FOR SALE: Speedotron Brownline D-1602 System w/ 2 flash heads & reflectors 1600ws. Older model, works fine. Great for 1st system or back-up. $500. 658-5332.
MUSIC SKAMAPHRODITES: Burlington’s finest ska band seeks equally fine horn play ers. Exp. necessary, willing to travel and gig weekly a must. Serious inquires only. Dan, 651-0622 GREEN MOUNTAIN SAVO YARDS looking for new mem bers to sing Gilbert & Sullivan. For audition call 860-1102. 16-TRACK ANALOG RECORD ING STUDIO. Dogs, Cats & Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, professional environ ment. Services for: singer/ songwriters, jingles, bands. Reasonable rates. Call Robin, 658-1042. AMP: MARSHALL JCM 800 50 watt head & JCM 900 cabi net, $700. John, 434-5013. THE HELICOPTER CONSOR TIUM SEEKS DRUMMER. Commitment to regular prac tice, gigs and travel a must. Our influences: Zappa, Ween, progressive rock. If you can’t live up, don’t step up. Call Larry or Liggy, 658-9657. THE KENNEL REHEARSAL SPACE: For musicians & bands. Monthly lock-outs w/ 24-hr. access & storage, or hourly room w/ drum kit. On site digital recording avail. Reservations required. 6602880. 3017 Williston Rd„ So. Burlington.
AD ASTRA RECORDING. Relax. Record. Get the tracks. Make a demo. Make a record. Quality is high. Rates are low. State of the art equip. & a big deck w/ great views. Call (802) 872-8583.
MUSIC INSTRUCTION BASS: Learn technique, theo ry, reading and groove this fall. All levels welcome. Keith Hubacher (The Disciples, Nerbak Bros., The Christine Adler Band). Reasonable rates. Call 434-4309. GUITAR: All styles & levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship & personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Revue, Kilimanjaro, Sklar-Grippo, etc.). 862-7696. PIANO: Beginning to advanced, age 3 to 103! Classical technique to improv. Open, holistic approach. Ero Lippold, 862-9727.
LEGALS CITY OF BURLINGTON In the Year One Thousand Nine Hundred Ninety-eight
paths shall include publicilv accessible restrooms with an appropriate exterior signs indi cating their availability. The Planning Commission mav waive this provision if it so determines that adequate pub licly accessible restrooms are available within close proximi-
ty.
B a c k To W e lln e s s C h iro p ra c t ic C e n te r
Sec. 6.1.10 Design Review Criteria. The following criteria shall be considered in connec tion with any application for a certificate of appropriateness:
D r . H e a th e r L . D o no van • providing effective quality care • specializing in low back, neck & shoulder conditions, headaches, & general spinal health %
(a) through (e) As written. (f) Make advertising features understandable. The size, loca tion, design, texture, lighting, and materials of all exterior signs and advertising features shall not detract from the use and enjoyment of proposed buildings or surrounding prop erties. Signs and similar fea tures shall be appropriately sized and located in a manner which does not detract from nor disrupt the immediate visual environment. Buildings that include publicly accessi ble restrooms shall include appropriate exterior signs indi cating their availability.
187 St. Paul Street, Burlington, VT
space available for rant tor holistic practice or massage therapist
G o get her, Tig e r!
Material stricken out deleted. Material underlined added.
An Ordinance In relation to APPENDIX A, ZONING #98-04 Public Trust Land-Publicly Accessible Restrooms It is hereby Ordained by the City Council of the City of Burlington, as follows: That the code of Ordinances of the City of Burlington be and here by is amended by amending Appendix A, Zoning, Sections 9.1.5 and 6.1.10 thereof to read as follows: Sec. 9.1.5. Permitted Uses. Only the following uses are permitted within the PT dis trict:
1-900-370-7127 to respond
*
($1 99/m in. must b e 18)
P E R S O N <TO > P ER SO N
(a) through (f) As written. (g) Publicly Accessible Restrooms. Anv structure larg-
••THE WVESTMEMT'' i o n a i with WANTEP 'Xo
s h e just
RicH.
So SHE 1JSER HER ONE TE:ip iN i THE T im e ! MACHINE To Go 13ACK To THE EARL/ I900'S. 1^ ^ / / 1 L
THERE WAS A PAINTER WHo NEVER SoLP A THING WHILE HE LIVER..
12-STRING ACOUSTIC GUI TAR for sale. Excellent condi tion. $200. 434-5536. MAX MIX DJ/RECORD SHOP, 108 Church St., Burlington, looking for used DJ/music equipment, record collections and local clothing designers. Merchandise pieced on con signment. 802-651-0722.
L A Y ®
W
A Y I A Y .C O M
Too GREER/ To TAKE HoME ONLY Two oR THREE/ SHE B0 U6 WT THE ENTIRE LoT.
StVEN DAYS
C ofA F oZ T ...
..ANR THE ENTREPENEUR WENT BACK To HER OWN TIME WITH THE SWAG.
/ r
I^WIIIIIIII III.Ilfj t
page 42
THE PAINTER L IV E R OUT HlS REMAINING RAYS iN RELATIVE
december 23, 1998
BUT No ONE KNEW WHo THE ARTlST WAS So SHE CoULRNT UNLoAR A Sin g l e PAINTING.
7D Classifieds • 864.5684
eilness wellness wellness wellness M M c b t ie d y . R N l AROMATHER-
HERBS
PSYCHICS
Mas sage
PURPLE SHUTTER HERBS: Burlington’s only full-service herb shop. We carry only the finest herbal products; many of them grown & produced in Vt. Featuring over 400 bulk dried herbs & tinctures. 1 0 0 Main Street, Burl. 865-HERB. Store hours: Mon.-Sat., 10-6.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S IN store for you? Call 1-900-370 3399 ext. 7761. $3.99/min., must be 18 yrs. Serv-U, 619645-8334.
The r a p i s t
APY RACHAEL KRAEMER: Certified aromatologist. 8624042. See display ad.
CHIROPRAC TIC DR. HEATHER DONOVAN: 864-4959. See display ad.
BARB MCKENNEDY, RN: 8622965. See display ad.
FITNESS
802 862-2965 -
9 5 College S tre e t, Burlington, VT G ift Certificates Available
MASSAGE
YMCA: 862-9622. See display
BODY MIND CONNECTION: 862-4373. See display ad.
ad.
JAMES MANN: 425-4557.
GENERAL HEALTH
LANSKY MASSAGE: 1-800603-4400. See display ad.
KNIGHTES’ PHARMACY: 800439-3085. See display ad.
SARI K. WOLF: 223-4715.
BERNICE KELMAN: 8993542. See display ad.
ROLFING THE ROLFING® CENTER: 864-0444. See display ad.
See display ad.
LANSKYMASSAGE Relieve stress, soreness & pain with Therapeutic M assage
Becky Lansky 1-800-603-4400 unhurried therapy that lasts
Burlington
iH O iim C a ll fo r o u r b ro c h u r e
RO LFIN G ® 8 6 4 -0 4 4 4 THE R O L F IN G CENTER Call us for a free consultation. You have nothing to lose but your pain and discomfort. TkohxikS W aJk«K
Fitness • Dance • Swim Sports • Aerobics
Y M C A
T
862-9622
RELAX! 1 hen you can Enjoy the Holidays! IN T U IT IV E M ASSAG E
JAMES MANN 14 years experience Nationally Certified Burlington office/House calls
L o v e tt
LAURA LUCHINI: 865-1233. See display ad. See display ad.
TRANQUIL CONNECTION massage therapy. Pamper yourself or a special someone to a massage w/ Tranquil Connection. Soak in spa prior to session to mellow your mind, warm your body in serene, private setting. Sessions start at $45; Head & foot massage $20; Spec, pack age: 3 sess. $100. Board-cer tified therapist. For appt. or leave msg. 654-9200. TREAT YOURSELF TO 75 MINUTES OF RELAXATION. Deep therapeutic massage. Sessions: $40. Gift certifi cates. Located in downtown Burl. Flexible schedule. Aviva Silberman, 862-0029.
MUSCULAR THERAPY MICHAEL RUBIN, CMT: 8658029. See display ad.
4 2 5 -4 5 5 7 T n b le w o rk /S e a ted • G if t C ertifica tes
THE BODY MIND CONNECTION MASSAGE
& HEALINC
F OR
BODY.
MIND
(. S P I R I T
ROSEN M E T H O D ,DEEP PRESSURE MASSAGE • REIKI
Winter Blues? Trouble Sleeping? Can’t stay Awake? Can’t Relax? Q: Try a natural way to feel gpd(f>
H O L I D A Y
S P E C I A L
fSQ°/o OFF
T IL N E W Y E A R
$ 2 0 /$ E $ $ IO N GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE
8 6 2 -4 3 7 3 119 S. WI NOOS KI , ABOVE SPIRIT DANCER
Bernice K e l m a n P s y c h ic C o u n s e l in g C h a n n e l in g BY APPOINTMENT 12 U
kelly
n d e r h il l ,
R oad
V T 05489
8 0 2 .8 9 9 '3 5 4 2 A -~
Sari K. VSfolf, RN, CCRN, TMP, CAP, Reiki III
Release Fatigue and Pain massage/myofascial therapies, reiki, deep tissue, aromatherapy, acupressure in Montpelier, by appointment 802-223-4715
H oliday G ift C ertificate Special B uy 2 get 1 FREE Michael Rubin, CMT N ationally C ertified Massage Therapist
Custom aroma blends for your emotional & -fis physical needs. r\
R a c h e l K raen fey Cert. Aromatologist - Practitioner 8 6 2 .4 0 4 2
C ertified Neurom uscular Therapist
St. John Neuromuscular Therapy Cognitive/Somatic Pain Management Clinical Sports Massage/Deep Tissue Offices: Shelburne i t S. Burlington • 865-8029
advertising in SEVEN DAYS wellness directory feels good
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page 4 3
Decem ber 24-30 AQUARIUS (Jan
ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19):
20 Feb. 18): I’m a great admirer
Medical researchers are beginning to report an unexpected downside to the use of Prozac and similar drugs. Some patients find they just can’t bear the strain of feeling content and welladjusted. Having been accustomed to their depression for so long, they feel lost without it. I’m concerned that many of you Aries will face a compa rable plight in 1999. Even without the help of pills, you’re going to be far more comfortable with yourself than you’ve been in a long time. Let’s hope this won’t freak you out too badly.
p of the role the jester played in
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The Economist magazine predicts that the prison population in the U.S. will
be able to affect events which have already happened. I don’t have enough
grow to 1.8 million in 1999, the “largest incarceration in civil history.”
room here to summarize the evi
If true, it would represent a 546 per cent increase since 1980. That’s the bad news. The good news, as far you’re concerned, is that a dispropor tionately small percentage of new inmates will be Cancerians. That’s because the astrological omens sug gest your tribe will specialize in liber
TAURUS (Apr. 20-May 20): Earlier this year, President Clinton laid a stern decree on the leaders of the Chinese government: “Get on the right side of history.” He meant that they should maneuver their country
ation in the coming months. (Not just in America, but all over the world.) Even your most covert sub personalities will be singing freedom songs; even the most dank and dimly lit regions of your psyche will thrive
away from totalitarian communism
on blasts of fresh air and bright illu
and in the direction of democracy
mination.
and capitalism. Now I’m borrowing Clinton’s injunction to use as your
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Life will
rallying cry in 1999. Get on the right side o f history, Taurus. That is to say, analyze the destructive and construc tive patterns that have shaped your life’s path up till now, and then throw all your weight and all your love towards the latter.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The next time a prophet of doom assails you with visions of global economic
invite you to embody the archetype of the Congenial Trespasser in 1999, Leo. If you accept this assignment, you’ll learn to violate taboos in the friendliest way possible; you’ll try to explore forbidden areas without stir ring up whirlwinds of opposition. Think you’re up for this breathtakingly subtle dare? As long as you blend
India, which comprise one-third of the earth’s population, will finish the 1990’s with more than twice the
Dec. 21): Will the millennium’s
prove the theory yourself in 1999. Again and again, you’ll get the chance
approach bring deadly plagues, nuclear terrorism, a doomsday aster
What does all this have to do with
to rewrite history and alter the past.
oid, Y2K chaos, and more films like TheWaterbofi Nah, probably not —
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Your conscience will soon be bugging you
although I do expect several out breaks of media hysteria that surpass
to drum up some heavyweight New Year’s resolutions. Nagging do-good
even this year’s Lewinsky Binge. You, on the other hand, Sagittarius, are
ers and whiny puritans may put pres sure on you, too. As a public service,
scheduled for some fabulous upheavals. Unlike the events that the
PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): A
though, I’d like to help you rebel against these oppressive forces of the
apocalyptic prophets foretell for our
Chinese proverb says, “If a man has
planet, however, I believe your muta
no nickname, he never grows rich.” I
superego. My hope is that it 11 fire you up for all the dissident actions I’ll
tions will shake you up in rather plea
have reason to believe this curious
surable ways. Examples: a romantic revolution that requires you to learn
formulation will soon apply to you,
be counseling you to pursue in 1999. Ready to get started on the path to insurgency? Make a list of your anti resolutions. What weird habits do you promise to cultivate with even more vigor in 1999? What problems are you going to exploit in order to make the status quo accountable for its cor ruption? Which boring rules and tra
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-
more about love than you thought you could handle; a recovered desire from your youth that stirs up sadness and excitement; and a brainstorm that will be both very difficult and
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): New
My therapist recently confessed that she only accepts clients whose afflic
ence accorded to the august Scientific American, but it ain’t no National Enquirer, either. Imagine my pleasant surprise, then, when it reported on research that seems to confirm what a
fresh ideas.
Pisces. While 1999 will be prime time to lay the groundwork for greater wealth, I suspect you’ll have the best possible luck in that effort if you’ll make some playful tweak in
Splashy or Hooch or Lynx? ®
1999: 1) a 300-year-old vase filled with fresh lilies; 2) a post-menopausal
truth. It may not command the rever
fresh ideas in 1999, but only about 30 percent of them will be really great
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23 Nov. 21): tions are interesting to her. She feels she’s unlikely to be helpful to anyone
you? I highly recommend that you get your very own jester-cumombudsman. You’ll have a million
your identity — like by adding a whimsical new moniker, for instance.
ing the wildest frontiers unhindered.
ditions will you thumb your nose at,
tivity of the magazine, Brill’s Content.
very fun to bring to life.
will be your life’s essential qualities in
you with hints that you’ll never be better or bigger than the person you
away everyone’s expectations.
us to you, Virgo. I suspect that you’ll
results unimpeachable. Which brings
ters with strange attractors?
innocence, I think you’ll be amazed at how little trouble you’ll have reach
Scientist is a respectable magazine with a skeptical approach to the
1999 will be the year you’ll blow
taining and educational problems.
ple. I also love the tradition of the ombudsman, a person who receives and investigates complaints about powerful institutions. A good modern example is Bill Kovach,-whose job it is to monitor the accuracy and objec
dence, but suffice it to say that the experiment was well-designed and the
19): I’ve come up with five metaphors that capture what I believe
wealth they had when the decade started. And the next time a pes simistic friend or relative undermines
are today, quote me as saying that
another, after all, so you might as well pick the messes you like best. Keep this uppermost in mind in 1999, Scorpio. Your success will depend on you having companions with enter
paving the way for exciting encoun
your cagey intentions with polite
collapse, remind him that China and
wacko paranormal guy like me has always believed: that we humans may
the royal courts of medieval Europe. They had license to speak the inno cent truth about the bombastic or deluded behavior of important peo
woman who surprises herself by falling in love like a teenager; 3) a claustrophobic, torch-lit tunnel that
How about Rumbler or Flux or
You can call Rob Broxsny, day or night for your
expanded weekly horoscope 1
-
9
0
0
- 9
0
3
- 2
$1.90 pmr minute.
would make a further claim. Isn’t it
five-year-old child holding a Stradivarius, preparing for a first vio
Touchtone phone.
wise to choose all your friends and
lin lesson; 5) immigrants studying to
lovers according to this principle?
master the entrance requirements of
Everyone’s messed up in some way or
their new country.
else. I completely understand, and
c /s B12 /3 7 3 -9 7 8 5
Rob’* Web * lt e a t mvrm.realaatrology.com / Updated Tuesday night.
on page 43
page 44
o **1
$EV£N,DAY$/ v
5 Cagney or Lacey 6 Smell — (be suspicious) 7 Easy stride 8 From the top 9 Sherwood or Arden 10 Small shot 11 Publisher Ballantine 12 Solitary 13 Alaska Purchase pusher 14 Agt. 15 Pie — mode 16 Government group 17 TV’s “Let's Make —" 18 '65 Beatles flick 24 — moss 29 Colorful language 31 Funnyman Philips 34 Leslie Caron role 36 “Make — double!" 37 Copperhead or cottonmouth 38 Designer Perry 39 Cain or Rusk 40 Walkway 41 Flu symptom
december 23, 1998 AV. *
* A * - v .r .s - .v r
85 Music org. 42 Wolfs 87 Spare fare expression 89 Guy Fri. 43 — Margret 90 Painful 44 “Indian —" 91 Geraint's (' 6 8 song) better half 49 Like some 93 Tizzy hair 51 Drink noisily 1 94 Park featu e 95 Pro-gun g r). 53 Canvas 96 Corduroy cover? ndge 54 Like— of 99 Long or bricks Peeples 55 Greek philosopher 103 Assumed mane? 57 Rock’s Los 104 Gorilla or — groundhog 58 Smell 59 “Schindler's 106 Cut canines 108 Always List" star 109 Orange 61 Sans features emotion 1 1 0 Valid 62 Radio and 1 1 1 Missouri TV feeder 65 Picnic need 1 1 2 Marsh birc 6 8 Senator 114 Witty ones Thurmond 117 Cartoonist 69 Trap Silverstein 71 Part of B.S. 73 “Johnny —" 118 Line of clothing? ('62 hit) 119 Spanish ri' er 74 Inclined 75 Where divas 1 2 1 Out of tow i 1 2 2 Time to cr<>w? dominate 123 Gaelic 76 Sociable 125 — de France starling 126 Puppy bite 77 Pro foe 128 Legal matiar 78 Truth 79 Franken 129 Firefighter s tool stein's helper 131 WWII agc\ 84 Acclaim
0
And don’t fo rg o t to check out
answers
1 0 5 No Sunshine" (71 hit) 107 Ingenious 110 Sci-fi real estate show? 113 Zsa Zsa's sister 114 Unseld or Craven 115 Martini ingredient 116 “Steppenwolf" author 120 Dodge 124 “Here You Come —" (’77 hit) 127 Actress Sorvino 130 Really dull conflict? 132 Tenor Beniamino 133 Pinnacle 134 Pays attention to 135 Dictates 136 Make tea 137 — majesty 138 St. — fire 139 Last word of the year? DOWN 1 Basics 2 Saucy 3 Spread in a tub 4 Spanish specialty
0
IS and over.
last week’s
character ACROSS 64 Nationality 1 Each suffix 5 "Turandot" 65 Las —, N.M. tenor 6 6 Charged 10 Prejudice atom 14 Delhi dignitary 19 Lurid Lugosi 67 Work over? 70 Cuban 20 Maine town currency 21 Bound bundle 72 Clear (of) 22 Manage to 73 Word before miss Domini 23 Sociopath's 74 Roth stationery? character 25 Chilly goes with the powder? flow? 26 Committee 78 They may 27 Robbed needle you 28 Lauren of 80 Knock "The Love 81 Like a Boat" garage floor 30 Rob Roy’s 82 Chinese refusal principle 32 Spigot 83 Past 33 Fall behind 35 Dinky Olym 84 Seoul man? 8 6 Finish pic award? 8 8 Make one's 40 Grand hair stand on 45 Actor Jacques end? 46 Ration, with 92 Nader’s "out" beneficiaries 47 Tennis term 48 Tackle a bone 94 Intellectual Beach Boy? 50 Snoozes 97 Style 52 Bolivian 98 Dermatologi capital cal problem 56 Disney film about a biq- 100 Mrs. Zeus time butcher? 101 — Lanka 102 Illinois 60 Rule out neighbor 63 “Salome"
5
leads to a sparkling health spa; 4) a
to respond to a personal ad call 1 - 0 0 0 - 3 7 0 ®. • ® ® • • • • • • , • Ail • • • 6 • We’re open 24 hours a day!:. $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older. guidelines: Anyone seeking a healthy, non-abusive relationship may advertise in PERSON TO PERSON. Ad suggestions: age range, interests, lifestyle, self-description. Abbreviations may be used to indicate, gender, race, religion and sexual preference. SEVEN DAYS reserves the right to edit or reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submitted for publication only by, and seeking, persons over 1 8 years of age.
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_
Or Call
^
1-800-710-8727 to charge directly to your credit card
w
i w
A o o k in q
m
m
JUKAH SWEETIE. DJF, 3 7 , 5 ’io” , g blonde hair, blue eyes. Am told I k like a Guess? model. Seeking JM, over 6 ’ and under 4 0 . Happy mukah! 2 4 4 4 _________ _______ 4 5 , PROGRESSIVE PROFES|NAL seeking playful, progressive, Jncially stable man in his 4 0 s; with irious nature. Dad’s a +. 21m i ilTEO, FUN-LOVING SWPF, 4 0 ISH, enjoys tra^l, dancing, ^romance, lals, monogomy, ocean getaways, ^hter, friendship, possibly LTR. 2 4 4 7 >F, SEASONED NICELY, TENDER & fh. Reading everything everything |ut Taoism, feng shui, alternative licine and healthy living. The )ds, XG skiing, snowshoeing, my t, wild flowers, quilts, fires. 2 4 5 7 dVN-TO-EARTH F, 4 9 , NS, nterested lieeting a genuinely nice man in his I to early 5 0 s for a good relationfe. 2 4 6 0 _____________________ 8 iKENDS TOGETHER. SWF, ATHLETIC, I der. Enjoys fishing, hiking, skiing; long. Has: good job, weekends free, I & satellite. Desires: SWM, 5 ’io” +^ |i7 , common pursuits, kids OK, feaI ?LTR. Stowe area. 2 4 6 3
FUN, PASSIONATE & PRETTY. Loving, intelligent, holistic, athletic, adventurous professional seeking her match: within 8 yrs. of 3 5 , well-edu cated, healthy, handsome. Enjoys nature & outdoor activities, and knows how to love! 2 4 1 9 SWF, 4 3 , LOOKING FOR A SWM FOR LTR. Must be honest, hard-working and know how to treat a lady. Enjoy camp ing, fishing, comedy, karaoke and romantic times. 2 4 2 4 _____________ DWPF, NS, ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE, artist/ farmer/educator; lover of fading laven der mnts. over water, all that grows green, has hooves, paws, feathers, isn’t made anymore, but still works, is graceful, resonant and natural. ISO kind, warm, wise, musical, communica tive, handy, educated, art appreciator. NMH, RISD, ASP, NEA. 2 4 2 7 VERY FUNNY SWF, 3 3 , NS, ND, DOG owner ISO SM, 2 6 +, for friendship in Burl. area. Join me in enjoying movies, dining, dancing, talking, ’8 0 s music, Star Trek, darts, billiards & bowling. m z
_______________________
MY TAROT READING SAYS: I’m going to meet a tall, dark-haired man around 4 0 . So where are you, already? Spiritually alternative F, 6 ’i ” , blue eyes, dark hair, seeks LTR, NS/ND. I live near Plainfield, VT. 2 4 0 1 __________ ROCK-N-ROLLER. ATTRACTIVE SWF, 3 7 , high energy, independent, honest, fun. ISO SWM, 3 5 -4 5 , that’s courageous, respectful, well-read & well-dressed for conversation, difiner & dancing. Smokers OK. 2 4 0 6 j WANTED: ONE TALL M WANTING TO learn/practice the Argentine Tango. A great dance; I want a partner. I’m 4 5 , 5 ’ 9 ” . Don’t read between the lines, there’s nothing there. 2 4 1 2 _________ IS IT POSSIBLE TO ENJOY ANOTHER’S company, see the non-duality of existance, and not become co-dependent? 3 0 s woman wants man who can laugh, cry, cook, contemplate and who loves his life. 2 3 5 7 ___________________ ATTRACTIVE PROFESSIONAL WF, NS, 3 0 s, who enjoys skiing, travel, dining, workout & much mdre, ISO attractive, fit, secure WM, NS, 3 0 -4 5 , who enjoys same for possible relationship. 2 3 6 5
PHONE BLOCKED FROM DIALING 9 0 0 MUNBERS? R e spo n d T o P e r so n a l s sing Y o u r C r e d it C a r d !
HAILING FREQUENCIES ARE OPEN: DWF, 3 7 , creative, adventurous, travel-loving, intelligent, passionate, searching for star mate. Awaiting your subspace communication. Any Romuians out there? 2 3 6 4 .____________________ ME: 3 4 , TALL, DARK, FRECKLES, KIDloving, red Play-Doh, great legs, soft but tough Gemini. You: older than 3 4 , Frenchman, nice arms, good heart, cra zier than me, graying, coffee drinker, vulnerable, kid-loving Taurus. 2 3 8 1 LOVER OF BEAUTY, SEEKER OF TRUTH. Intelligent, compassionate, intuitive, powerful, independent DWPF ISO multi farious, heart-centered, authentic part ner. Embraces laughter, meaningful conversations, intimate silences. Earth, sky, water are my playgrounds. 2 3 6 8 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE FASTER THAN a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, or even tall, dark, or handsome. But if you are able to hike, willing to XC, like to travel, smart, witty and kind, that would be super. ISO SM, 3 0 -5 0 . And if it doesn’t work out with us, I have friends. 2 3 7 6 INTERESTED, INTERESTING WOMAN seeking gorgeous (to me) genius (who is, crazy about me) for dancing/adventure. I’m 4 6 , a little silly, a little pretty. Hoping to fall madly in love. 2 3 7 8 MY TRUCK FITS 2 KAYAKS, JACKETS, dry gear, tarps, tents, skis, ropes and harnesses, bikes, blades & packs. And there’s still room for you. Come on! Let’s explore! SF, 3 9 , vegetarian. 2 3 7 9 SWPF, NS, ISO SOUL MATE. Attractive, healthy, professional; has passion for work and play; enjoys plays, films, music, concerts, VT’s seasons, excellent food, aromatic coffee and a great read!! ISO Mlife partner, 4 0 -5 oish. 2 3 8 0 FUN, ENERGETIC, OUTGOING SWF, 3 2 , seeking SM, 2 8 -4 0 . I enjoy many differ ent forms of live music, art, quiet con versations, laughing and exercise. Must be independent, optimistic, available during the week, and flexible on the weekend, but not mandatory. 2 3 8 4 SWPF, NS, CTRL. VT, 4 6 , ENERGETIC, outgoing, musical, positive outlook. Likes movies, reading, concerts, danc>. ing, walking, eating out. ISO ethical, outgoing, NS who believes life is not a dress rehearsal. 2 3 2 4 ________ VOLUPTUOUS, BROWN HAIR, BROWNeyed SWPF, 3 1 , NS, who enjoys music, hockey, movies, books, theatre, travel. ISO SWPM, NS, 2 8 -4 0 , for friendship, possible LTR, evenings out & lots of laughter. 2 3 2 5 __________________ SEEKING HOPELESS ROMANTIC. SWPF, NS, 5 ’ 8 ” , 2 4 , blonde, blue-eyed. ISO a spark w/ a hard-working, honest SM, 2 2 -3 5 , who enjoys dancing, biking, movies, hockey games & romantic evenings alone. 2 3 2 6 _____________ MIDWESTERN ROOTS. DWPF, 4 3 , NS, who loves life, skiing, football, nights on the town, candlelight dinners, danc ing. ISO honest, fun-loving WM for romance, adventure & fun. 2 3 2 7 _____ WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP ITS BEEN. Rubenesque DWF, 2 6 , ISO SM to journey with. Must value individuality, be family-oriented. Enjoy travel, nature, mysticism & romance. 2 3 4 4 ________ KIDS GROWN, ON MY OWN. PETITE, funny. Have money. Handsome man could make my day. Adventurous, loves to play. Must be neat, must be clean. Don’t smoke or drink, and don’t be mean. Love to cuddle, love to touch. Hope I’m not asking too much, 2 3 5 0 WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU? Enthused, passionate, intelligent, spiri tual, dog-loving DWF, 3 7 , geographer, ISO centered M to share life’s journey. Send me the map to your heart. 2 3 2 2 DWF LOOKING FOR WILD, MELLOW, practical, passionate, tall DWPM, 4 0 4 $—type guy to share life’s stuff. 2 3 0 5 TWO CRAZY GEMINI GIRLS LOOKING for playmates. Must be tall, dark (or blond) and handsome, 3 5 -4 5 . No cowards, please! 2 3 0 6 ______ GENTLE, WARM, ATTRACTIVE SWF, 4 4 . Love learning about life, spirituality. ISO warm, positive, thoughtful man, 4 0 -5 2 , to share thoughts, music, read ing, movies, walking, dancing, silliness, hugs, friendship, maybe more. 2 3 1 5
FITNESS-FREE FEMALEronature, cre ative, into squirrels & vendettas. ISO kind-hearted, fun-loving cqmpanion w/ good portfolio who’s willing to work out the details later. 2 3 2 0 _________ ADVENTUROUS DPWF, 3 7 , 5 ’3 ” , slen der, attractive & passionate. Loves ski ing, honesty, good conversation & inti macy. I would like to meet a non smoking, intelligent M who is financial ly secure, 3 5 -4 7 , and has a positive, confident approach to life. 2 2 4 9 _____ THE PASSION IN WHICH JULIET lives is so potentially infectious. DWPF, 2 8 , attractive, slender, funny, ISO D/SWPM, 2 8 -3 5 , attractive, ambitious, outgoing, jeans/baseball caps, for fun, LTR? 2 2 6 5 DWCF, 3 7 , NS, ND, WRITER SEARCHING for kindred spirit who enjoys the quiet & simple pleasures of life, hiking, movies, science fiction, cuddling and is emotionally & financially secure. 2 2 7 2 SLIM BLONDE, BLUE-EYED MID-LIFEmama w/ children gone, who refuses to grow old, is searching for that special, lovable PWM to share interests such as skiing & travel, who can be serious, too. Must still believe in love. Let’s take a chance! 2 2 7 7 ______________ FUN IS WHAT I LIKE TO HAVE. SWF, 3 0 , loves the outdoors, dogs (I have 2 ), traveling, swing and looking for SWM who enjoys life. Friends first. 2 2 7 9 SWF, 4 4 , 5 ’8 ", ATTRACTIVE, NO KIDS, atheist, loves dogs, extremely cynical, salving conscience through activist environmentalism, seeking peace/country life with gentle, honest mate. You are probably tall, preferrably no kids, 3 5 -5 3 , thinker but work with your hands, not a veggie, principled, extremely liberal, patient. 2 2 8 0 ____ _ FAIR MAIDEN ISO SHINING KNIGHT! He’s tall, handsome, financially secure, honest, romantic, chivalrous, sincere. She’s a very attractive, red-headed wonder; loves 4 x4 s, children, garden ing, dancing, classic cars, cooking, football, thigh-highs, NASCAR. Sir Lancelot, please reply;, Jeff Gordan fans be cautious to try! 2 2 8 1 __________ LETS CREATE A FRIENDSHIP. SWF, 3 1 , 5 ’i ” , quiet, pleasant, ISO SWM, 3 0 -3 7 , who balances with meuand to share experiences. I enjoy mt^es, travel, working out and shopping. 2 2 4 5 _____ I’M THE EXCEPTIONAL WOMAN YOU’VE always wanted to meet! Classy & sexy, warm & witty, sensitive & beautiful, I love cooking, theatre, kids, animals, kayaking & silk lingerie. ISO very exceptional man, 3 5 -4 5 , tall & very handsome, successful & soulful, light hearted & fun, romantic & smiling, kind-hearted & affectionate. 2 2 4 7 SWPF, 3 8 , 5 ’8 ", NS, VEGETARIAN, liber al thinker, friend of animals. I like British comedy, hiking, canoeing, danc ing, art, antiques, museums and being involved in my community.4’m ISO a, single male, 3 oish-4 oish, with similar., attitudes and interests for friendship or possible LTR, 2 2 4 3
I have a much-loved mutt who has always slept at the end of my bed. The problem is, Ralphie is jealous cf my new boyfriend, especially when we make love. Ralphie insists on staying on the bed, and actually growls. I know he won't attack my boyfriend or anything, but it's dis tracting, to say the least. It I lock him cut ot the bedroom he scratches at the door. What should I do? Doggie-whipped in Duxbury Dear Doggie-whipped, What is it with you people and your pooches? Some time last year, I had a letter from a gent who said he
A B sk w q tu w im 2 2 , 6 ' 2 ",
LEAN, TALL, CULTURED, stu dent, artist, entrepreneur, adventurer seeks curvacious Queen bent on mystery and wonderment. 2 4 4 5 ASIAN WOMEN, WOULD LIKE MEET you. Tiny small person, long hair? Status unimportant, under 4 0 . Friendship/travel, lots more! I’ll be the best friend you ever had! 2 4 5 9 __________________ THUNDER, SUNSHINE, SNOW STORMS, warm beaches, wood fires, candle light nights, nature, music, dancing, commu nication, positive, 3 3 , attractive, waiting for you. Care to join me? 2 4 1 4 HEY, I THINK I’M A FUNNY, THOUGHT FUL, attractive guy, and I know I need a funny, sharp, attractive lady, 3 2 -4 3 , to share with. Let me tell you more. Okay? 2 4 2 0
couldn't get aroused without hearing the sound ct his girltriend’s jealous pooch scratch ing at the door. It you can’t get Ralphie to behave, I would recom mend you do the dirty at your boyfriend's place. And if you plan on someday reproduc ing, I would recommend against a family bed. Love,
a to la
P hone b lo ck ed from d ia lin g 9 0 0 n u m b ers? Don't w ant a c h a r g e on y o u r p h on e b ill?
R e s p o n d T o P e r s o n a l s U s in g Y o u r C r e d it C a r d !
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decem ber 2 3 ; ts liiij'
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to respond to a personal ad call ^ We’re open 24 hours a day! $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older. ISO XC SKI FRIEND. Active, attractive, NS, kids, ISO ski friend. Also enjoy dancing, yoga, music, cooking. LTR possible, but fun first. No baggage on this trip, please. 2 4 3 9 _________ ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, MUSICAL, SWM, 3 8 , 5 ’u ” , 1 7 0 LBS., CARPENTER. athletic, sober SWM, 3 2 , seeks similar Interests: hiking, canoeing, snowshoequalities in SWF, 25-30- 2393 ing, back-country skiing, homesteading. ISO pioneer woman interested in ARE YOU OVER 4 0 , WITTY, INTELLI homesteading, family on 2 5 acres, simGENT, affectionate and-yes-attracple, self-reliant life. 2 4 2 1 ______ tive? Are you willing to risk an emo tional involvement? If yes, perhaps we ISO LOVELY LADY TO CHERISH AND should talk. 2 4 0 0 ____________ _ adore forevermore. Nice guy: gentle, sincere, smiling, keeper of many furry SWM, 2 0 , DIRTY-BLONDE HAIR, BLUE creatures, open-minded, handsome, eyes, 1 5 5 lbs., seeking older F, 3 5 -5 5 , romantic Wi, 5 0 , 5 ’ 8 ” . Used, not for discreet encounters. Will travel. abused. 2 4 1 5 Discretion.a must. 2 4 0 3 ______ __ INTELLECTUAL REDNECK SEEKS TRUE, NOTHING TO HIDE. DWM, 3 8 , 6 ’ , 1 7 5 fine mama. Very young 5 0 s, artsy, litsy, lbs., good-looking, quiet, smoker; can moderately outdoorsy, politically incor repair almost anything. Looking for rect. ISO kind, intelligent, attractive one-man woman for LTR. What you see woman for friendship and romance. is what you get. 2 4 0 5 2417 ___ NEW-WORLD MAN. SWPM, 3 1 , NS/ND, SCIENCE AND MUSIC ARE TWO LOVES very fit, adventurous, good-looking, of my life. Looking for a third. into music, art, photography and going Affectionate, prof., honest, agnostic M, out, seeks SWF, 2 4 -3 5 , NS, for fun & 4 9 , seeks tall, thoughtful lady, NS, to possible LTR. 2 4 0 9 enjoy outdoors and country living. GIGGLES, PLAY 81 A SPIRITUAL LIFE. 2422 Sparkles & shiny colors at craft fair & SINCERE, GOOD-NATURED CHRISTIAN M the. Met. Moussaka, pasta bolognese, seeks F companionship on the journey. massages, Bach with candle-lit bath. Love to laugh, learn, love. 2 4 2 3 _____ Mozart festival picnics, mtn., lake, sun sets & walks in the woods. Seeks ATTRACTIVE SWM, 3 2 . SEEKS SF FOR SWPF. Unity reader a +. 2 4 1 0 friendship first w/ possibility of short term or LTR. Enjoy dining out, dancing, 4 0 ISH SM, 5 ’8 ", FIT, EDUCATED, com taking walks, movies, shows, skiing municative, no dependents. Openand other outdoor activities. 2 4 2 5 minded realist, sense of humor, seeks special woman for monogamous holiLOVE IS A GOOD THING. DWM, 5 ’9 ” , day romance, and maybe more. 2 3 5 6 1 4 5 lbs., somewhat professional, youthful, interesting. Likes adventures, SWPM, 3 1 , NS, SELF-EMPLOYED, col skiing, hiking, camping, laughing, lege grad., laid back personality, slight music, travel, Burlington night life. disability, enjoys movies, theater, ski Seeking fun-loving companion. 2 4 2 9 ing, walking & dancing. Seeks SF with open heart, easy laugh and sense of 3 WAY-COOL ATTRACTIVE GUYS FROM adventure. 2 3 6 6 ________________ _ The Outdoor Gear Exchange are look ing for outdoorsy, fun, quirky dates for REAL 2 1 ST CENTURY MAN...NOT A 2 0 TH the company X-Mas party, 1 2 / 2 0 . No century imitation. Resilient, resolute, commitments, just fun, food, and marspiritual DWM, 4 1 , Ctrl. VT, seeks intel garitas. Stop by the store and ask for ligent and diverse, NS/NA, PC vixen to Roger, Chief or Nupp. 2 4 4 3 reformat life with. 2 3 7 0 ___________ SWM ISO DARK-HAIRED LADY. I’m 2 5 , COURAGEOUS 81 FREE, EMERGING spir 5 ’ 7 ” , 1 4 5 lbs., light brown hair & eyes, it. Think and feel deeply. SWM, 2 5 , and fit. Into snowboarding, cars, music 5 ’ 7 ” , flexible, loveable, good-looking, and adventure. You: good-looking, intelligent, kind listener. Seeks friend open-hearted and playful. 2 4 3 1 ship, romance, fun. Likes lots of stuff. You are intelligent, kind, wise, fun, ROAD LESS TRAVELED. Caring man attractive, fit, 2 0 -3 0 . 2 3 7 1 __________ seeks special woman. I love drawing, jazz, writing, poetry, photography, hik THE MAN YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED. I’m ing, running, children, nature, quiet sensitive, but strong, real romantic, times and being with someone special. handsome, fit, energetic. Would do NS, 5 ’9 ” , 1 6 0 lbs. 2 4 3 2 anything for that special F. 3 8 , s’n ” , brown hair, blue eyes, love movies, GENTLE MAN, 5 0 S, GOOD-LOOKING, dining out, traveling, long walks, silk very solvent, amiably divorced, seeking lingerie. ISO SWF, NS, 35-4°> childless, intelligent lady who appreciates fun, romantic, affectionate, sexy. 2 3 8 2 thoughtfulness, nice lifestyle. Let’s share interests. Goal: a committed relaSWM, 3 1 , NS/NA/ND, 6 ’, BLUE EYES, brown hair, ex-Marine, fit—physically, tionship. 2 4 3 5 ___________ _ mentally & spiritually. ISO SWF, 2 5 -3 5 , SWM, 2 1 , ATTRACTIVE, WITTY, LIKES . NS, NA, ND, loves nature & self. 2 3 7 2 movies, sports, cross-dressing, ISO SF who’s dominant, kinky, witty, who SWM, 4 1 , NS, ND, ATTRACTIVE, organic wears garter belts, sexy stockings, gardener, loves dogs, home, rural life, leather for intimate encounters. Be intimacy. ISO natural beauty, 3 0 - 3 5 . clean. Will answer all. 2 4 3 6 fearless, strong, loving, happy, to share my home, mother earth spirituality. SINCERE, SECURE, PHYSICALLY FIT, LTR. 2 3 7 4 younger-looking-than-5 2 . Man with grown children seeking attractive, COME HITHER. SPEAK WITH TRUTH AND healthy and loving 4 oish woman to tenderness. Be of fit body and mind. share love and respect for natural Value education, health and serenity. world, travel, adventure and fun for the Cradle the heart of this gentle, unique, long run. 2 4 3 8 gracious SWM, 4 3 , NS, ND, NA. 2 3 8 3
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NEWTO BURLINGTON. SWM, 3 4 . 18 0 lbs., 6 *2 ” , NS, social drinker. Enjoys nature, outdoor activities, dancing. Looking for a woman who can show me what this town has to offer. 2 3 2 8 3 8 YO TEENAGER. DWM, SMOKER, light drinker, likes all kinds of music—from alternative to Grateful Dead —ISO F ver sion of same. Skiing, fishing, outdoors, music, movies, etc. Let’s do it. 2 3 3 2 HI, I’M AN UPBEAT SINGLE FATHER W/ one daughter. I’m a musician, inventor, hiker, photographer, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Let’s chat. 2 3 3 4 M, 3 7 , HONEST, DIVORCED, OCCASION AL smoker & drinker, kids: 2 teenage girls. Self-employed in VT music ind.
SHAUMAR SMOULDERED but it w asn’t the spicy. You winked, we both smiled. Let’s meet without our friends and smile some more! Me: avail able, dark, tall. You: appetiz-
2341_____________________ NON-PC, BOSTON-1RISH GENT, 3 8 , loves his kids, slow dances, the Bruins, bad movies, pint of Guinness and a smoke, the Stones, Spooning and laughing. How about you? 2 3 4 7 I AM ALIVE! SWM, 3 6 , HEALTHY, FIT & clean. 5 ’ 5 ” , 1 4 5 lbs., NS, likes to travel & hopes to meet SF, 2 6 -4 0 , NS, who enjoys life 8c stays active/healthy. 2 3 4 8 SM, 4 2 , SOME BRAINS, KINDA CUTEcleans up well—seeks friendship 81 intimacy in a LTR filled with silly laughter & sweet love. 2 3 5 2 ______ ._____ SEPARATED WM LOOKING TO BE some one’s special toy to play w/, enjoy life with and to sleep with. I’m in my 4 0 s, good shape, have a job, but needs a place to live & be your personal slave to that special person. 2 3 5 3 VIBRANT, INTELLIGENT WM, 3 6 , health care prof, w/ European sensibilities & North American enthusiasm. Very ath letic, well-traveled. Loves inc.: music/ dance, get-a-ways to the woods & urban scene. Prefer 2 6 -3 6 , slightly cyni cal, possessing a good belly laugh. 2 2 8 4 ____ ____________________ SINCERE, HONEST, ROMANTIC SWM, 4 2 , 5 ’ 9 ” , brown hair, blue eyes, look ing for SWF to share meaningful times. Must be honest and like to travel. Let’s cash in on life together. 2 2 8 5 _______ OPTIMISTIC, CHEERFUL, 4 3 YRS. YOUNG, educated (sometimes silly) WPM, ISO PF, 3 0 -4 3 . happy, employed, objective, physically fit and craving adventure/travel to uncharted destina tions. Romance/LTR. 2 2 8 6 _________ _
STIMULATE MY BRAIN. MAKE ME LAUGH. A massage would be nice, too. SWM, 3 1 , witty, athletic, articulate, seeks humorous, active, attractive WF, 2 5 -3 2 . Will reciprocate on massage. Perhaps. 2 3 0 1 __________________ LIFE’S SIMPLE PLEASURES CAN BE shared with this DWM, 3 2 , 5 ’io” , 1 6 5 lbs., average looks. Honest, hard-work ing outdoorsman. Likes country music, gardening, hunting, running, sunrise, quiet evenings & good company. 2 2 8 8 STRONG & SILENT, EDUCATED, VERY busy, 6 ’, active, health club, mountain/ road bikes, skiing, outdoor activities, health-minded, movies, dancing, dinning out. Looking for best friend. 2 2 9 5 YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE. Attractive, honest, sensitive, reliable DWM, 4 8 , who likes to work out, ski, dance, ISO smart, sweet, caring, healthy, fun, romantic S/DF, 3 5 -4 8 . 2296
Personal of the Week wins dinner for two at
Ribs • Rotlsserie Chicken & Morel 4 p.m. — ao p.m. 1110 Shelburne Rd., So. Burlington 651-8774
Winner also receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker’s Guide to VT from
■r K c O u t d o o r G e a r C x c h a n ijr - •
used • closeout • new 19 1 Bank S t , Burlington 860-0190
YEARS OLD, 5 ’ 9 ’’, 2 1 6 LBS., ENJOYS dining out, movies, dancing, day trips, cuddling, quiet times. Looking for F with similar interests for friendship, possible romantic LTR. Holidays are coming! 2 3 2 3 HANDSOME, TALL WM, 4 0 . SEEKS attractive woman w/ a nice, big bottom & pleasant but passionate nature. Likes reading, conversation, passion & quiet times, too. Age, race unimportant. No obese, please. 2 2 9 7 WHO’S OUT THERE?! Attractive, fit SWPM, 2 4 , seeks attractive, fit, intelli gent female for sweaty activities. Looking for someone a little different and is comfortable w/ her body. 2 3 0 2 WARM-HEARTED, INTELLECTUAL out doorsman, 4 2 , DWPM w/ children, seeking serious, sensible, petite, pretty partner for hiking, back-country skiing & other adventures. Ctrl. VT. 2 3 1 1 SWM, 2 2 , 1 7 0 LBS. ISO LTR W/ attrac tive F who likes to cheat. I’m a cleancut car guy. I make my F happy. 2 3 1 9 INTELIGENT, AFFECTIONATE, GOODlooking, liberal, NS, passionate music lover. Enjoy outdoors, cooking, conver sation. Young 4 6 , fit, not athletic. Seek smart, attractive, affectionate F in northeastern VT. I’m near St. J. 2 3 1 7 . M, 5 0 S, SEEKING NS F VEGETARIAN swinger...big band, that is. Some notes are blue; the mall buildings are, too. Read the clue, & I will meet you. 2 3 2 1 SEMI-SERIOUS DWPM, 4 0 S, LOVER OF museums, mtd. trails, carriage rides & lazy kisses. Attractive, balanced assort ment of virtues & vices. Seek confident lady open to life’s possibilities. 2 2 5 1 MY FRIEND-LOVER FANTASY: Radiant, zestful, soulful, healthful, fit, athletic playmate. Intelligent, articulate, imagi native learner. Empathetic, giving, sen sual, loving, unguarded, centered, pow erful, independent yearner. Ready for me. 3 5 +. 2 2 5 2
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LIFE IS SHORT. A little bit shy, divorced for three years, & ready to start explorng new adventures. I enjoy many out door activities, dining out or in, and good conversation. 2 2 5 9 SMART, HEP, FUNNY, CUTE, GEMINI, native of NYC, been at school in VT for four years now. Seek funny, cool girl who likes fun and adventure. 2 2 6 8 ADVENTUROUS, FIT, OUTDOORSY DWM 4 oish, enjoys biking, hiking, canoeing, XC, etc. ISO attractive, fit, petite F w/ similar interests to enjoy outdoors, nature & hopefully more. 2 2 6 0 1 9 6 3 MODEL: WELL-MAINTAINED PROF equipped w/ independent suspension, overdrive, ABS (attractive, bright, sens tive), boots (ski & hiking), tent, clubs, canoe, and other options. Has garage p space for sleek, SWPF with great linesc classic good looks, and desire to see g where the road goes from here. 2 2 7 8 u SWM, 2 6 , 6 ’i", 2 0 0 LBS., SEEKS attrail tive F or BiF, 1 8 -4 5 , for fun and game: Discretion & maturity ensured. 2 2 6 4 CTRL. VT DWM, 4 4 , SUM, SEEKING I equal partner for fun & sharing life’s I good and bad times. Optimistic, confil dent and adventurous. You be the same. All replies answered. 2 2 7 0 THE COMING MONTH & YEAR DO NOT exist. Ours only is the present’s tiny point. Romantic, NS, ND, 3 9 , hand some, blue eyes, 6 ’, ISO pretty, sexy, smart, fun woman to share. 2 2 7 1 TALL, ATHLETIC, FIT, ATTRACTIVE, affe tionate, progressive, well-educated, divorced, PS dad, 5 1 , likes conversa tion, ethnic food, films, tennis, hiking, skiing. ISO intelligent, active F for friendship/LTR. 2 2 7 6 KNOW THAT what I’m doing now isri living. Fit DWM, 4 5 , ISO fit partner. N< control either way. Want to share life1 adventures? Call, I don’t bite. 2 2 4 8
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BiWM, 6 5 , PASSIVE, ISO Bi/GBM, ND, who can be totally feminine from head to toe. For good times at my quiet place in the country. 2 4 1 6 __________ AMATEUR MALE STRIPPER, BLONDE, tan and fit. Professional style show. Free. Tuxedo, cowboy, logger and more. ISO parties or private auditions. Hot fun for you and your friends. 2 4 3 3 GWM, 5 ' 8 ", 1 8 0 LBS., 4 0 S. BUDDING gym rat, not into club scene, looking for secure men. Me: professional into all art forms, travel, outdoors and your imagination. ISO a physical guy who wants to share adventures as well as cuddle in front of TV. Bodybuilders a big +. 2 4 4 2 _____________ GWM, 2 6 , ATHLETIC, ISO A PROF, ath letic, experienced, versatile WM, 2 6 -4 0 . Must be yourself. Humorous is a +. No skinny or fat men, please. LTR only. Burl, area. 2 3 8 9 _________________ NEW TO PERSONALS, 3 0 s, 5 ’io", 1 5 0 lbs., kind-hearted romantic. Shy, but ready to be set loose. Masculine, musi cian, loves outdoors, dance music. Eager to make new friends. 2 3 3 0 GWM, 2 0 , ISO ANOTHER GUY WHO wears the same outfit more than two days in a row, can humor me with chicken anecdotes, and maybe, just maybe, will be himself. 2 3 0 8
iXiymn M&kwqwomen IOPELESSLY ROMANTIC. SWF, 2 8 , ISO F, 2 5 -3 2 ; very outgoing, enjoys liovies, dancing, dining, romantic venings, w/ a great sense of humor. 407
FUNNY, CHUBBY, UVM 1 8 smoker how to treat you right, hile instructing me on the fine points f love, we can take field trips and plore our other passions. 2 4 1 1 _____ jWF, 3 0 , FAMILY IN THE RUTLAND area, sit often. Would like to make friends hang out with. Interests: movies, liopping, darts, and more. 2 3 6 9 _____ eautiful, loving, vibrant woman, l , seeks girls like me to dance, touch, lay, laugh, be friends and explore our hssion and glory. 2 3 7 3 each this
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BLUE EYES, GWM, 3 9 , HANDSOME, young-looking, seeking G/BiWM for dis creet fun evenings. Inexperienced wel come, long hair a +, 1 8 -4 8 , no fats or ferns. 2,312 ____________________ GWM, 3 0 S, 6 ’, 1 7 0 LBS., ATTRACTIVE, in shape, ISO intelligent, attractive, in shape guys, 2 5 -3 5 , for friendships and LTRs. Like to workout, hike, bike, trav el, socialize. Burlington/Lake Champlain region. 2 3 1 6 ____________________ I WANT YOU!! GWM seeks international Ms in uniform. I’m a professional. Especially interested in B/A/H. Must be discreet. Deserve to have a sensational time. 2 3 1 4 WORKING-CLASS MEN: GWM, 3 9 , 19 5 lbs., 5 ’8 ” , br./bl. seeking G/BiWM mili tary, law enforcement, construction, trucker, business man, UPS or other uniformed profession for discreet dates, 1 8 -4 5 . 2 3 1 3
SENSUAL HEDONIST, SWM, 4 5 , ISO like-minded playmates. I have 2 0 yrs. exp. organizing polysexual events. Safe, clean, honest, gentle, fun. You be self-aware, creative, confident, openminded. Are you ready for more fun than you’ve ever imagined? 2 4 6 1
MaWM, 4 0 S, DESIRES PETITE F, 2 5 -4 5 , who needs more out of life. Long talks, long walks, creative food and play with discretion. Real adults only. Middlebury area. 2 4 1 1 SEEKING OLDER WOMAN. MaWM, 4 0 s, seeks silver-haired fox for weekly tryst. Age 5 8 -6 8 . If you’re curious, don't delay. 2 4 3 0 _______ __________ _ LOOKING FOR MATH BUDDY TO WORK on calculus problems. 2 3 9 2 ________ ATTRACTIVE CU IN MID-4 0 S, BOTH Bi, looking for Bi CUs, M & F, for friend ship & play. Bi self-awareness, intelli gence, honesty & good fun energy most important. 2 4 0 2 ____________ WIFE WANTED...PREFERABLY SOMEONE elses. MaWM seeks MaWF who, like me, is way unappreciated. I know you’re out there, so call. You know they’ll never miss us as long as the TV’s still on. 2 3 6 7 MaCU, 3 5 &. 2 8 , BEGINNERS, ISO CU or BiF for erotic times. Healthy, discreet, attractive. 2 3 7 5 __________________ SUBMISSIVE BIWM, 3 0 S, WITH GREAT legs and attractive, seeks discipline by GWM, TV, F, or CU. Discretion assured. Other role-play welcome. 2 3 8 5 ______ SWM, STRAIGHT, BUT A LITTLE differ ent, late 3 0 s, great looker, seeking fun w/ women & lingerie. I’ll try on for fun & want to party with you and your friends. 2 3 8 7
CHRISTMAS PARTY, 1 2 / 5 . YOU’RE A very attractive pharmacist. We discussed receptor mechanisms. I didn’t get your name before you left with your date. Is he serious? I am. Call me. 2 4 6 2 ______ HANNAFORDS, SHELBURNE RD., TUES., 1 2 / 1 5 , 6 p.m. Frozen foods, cards, asked you to dinner, me too shy, left. You blonde, blue coat. Would like to meet. I’m interested. Please call. 2 4 4 8 SHALIMAR SMOULDERED, BUT IT wasn’t the spicy. You winked, we both smiled. Let’s meet without our friends and smile some more! Me: available, dark, tall. You: appetizing! 2 4 5 6 KIM, I MISS OUR BACKRUBS. Call me. A fellow alto. 2 4 5 8 _________________ VT PUB & BREWERY, 1 2 / 5 . TO THE lady going to England with Jim & Linda for the holidays, think you’re smart and classy. Me: the guy who provided the KSU overtime loss update. 2 4 2 8 _____ RUTH, WE MET LAST CHRISTMAS, danced at the singles' party. I’d like to see you again, but don’t know your last name or how to reach you. 2 4 4 0
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respond to Letters Only ads: al your response in an envelope, ite box # on the outside and place another envelope with $ 5 for each ponse. Address to: IkSON TO PERSON c/o I YEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , Iriington, VT 0 5 4 0 2
SWF, 3 2 , BLOND, BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, seeks handsome counterpart, 2 8 -4 2 . Athletic, fit, articulate, passionate, seeks same with sense of humor, love of play, need for adventure. If you’re a knight in modern armor, I’m your fair maiden. Picture helps. Box 4 0 1 ______ WHERE ARE YOU? Intelligent, attractive SWF, young-3 0 s, ISO similar M w/ sense of humor about life. Join me run ning, hiking, skiing, laughing, dining, traveling, dancing! Box 3 9 2 ________ GREAT CAKE NEEDS ICING. SWPF, 3 6 , bright, warm, attractive, educated, loves the outdoors, has house and crit ters, seeks playmate/soulmate/boy-toy to share food, talk, wine, romps... house, critters? Write. Box 3 9 6 ______ INDEPENDENT DF, 6 5 , WOULD LIKE TO meet sophisticated friend/companion, 6 5 +, to share ideas and participate in the cultural life of Burlington. Box 3 9 9
3 0 S, BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, URBAN, ertsy, sophisticated and athletic, out-Soorsy, fitness-oriented. ISO man of - assion and depth with warmth, 3jimor, playfulness, adventurous, open xploring life and relationship. Box
TO GET TO KNOW THE LIBRA IN SWF, 2 1 , ISO man to be myself I’m honest, attractive & fun. Write lou can make me laugh! Box 4 1 0 A LIVE WIRE. Christian toves life, lure, wildlife. Enjoys travel, sunlight, }cing, music, moon light, cooking, Jletight, inner peace, twilight. <ing you: strong, gentle, loving, iful, honest. Box 4 1 1 ___________ PRETTy, SMART, MELLOW, mystical, msical, wise, non-dogmatic spiritual , seeks a mutual, gentle, deeply & swallow from eloquent fountain of heart. Box 4 1 2 _____________ TTY WIDOW ISO GRAY-HAIRED genan, 5 5 -6 5 , who is kind, open and [vho, like me, reads broadly, enjoys ning, loves life’s finer things and la great sense of humor. Box 4 0 5
CROSS BETWEEN A MICHAEL J. FOX & Mark Hamel. PM ISO PF who is fit & adventurous, 3 0 -4 5 . Looking for a friend first, possible LTR. If you want to meet a real nice guy, write. Box 4 1 4 SWP CANADIAN/EUROPEAN, NS, 4 0 S, teacher, Zen philosophy, travelled & educated, Christian, “ love all the beau tiful things of life,” music, art, compas sion, devotion is my inner self. Photo appreciated. Box 4 1 7
LONELY WOMEN. SWM, 4 8 , caring. Weekend companion. Will treat you like a queen. Willing to cook, pamper & spoil you. Any age, weight, race. Bubble bath and champagne. Longterm. Box 4 0 8 __________________ WASPY? IMBUED WITH THE WORLD, words, wonder, warmth & wherewithal!? Here, fine features, too numerous. Electricity or not, you won’t be disap pointed. Please don’t ever tell how we met. Box 4 0 9 ______ ,____________ LIFFS TOO SHORT FOR ORDINARY things. Articulate, active, educated man on cusp of 4 0 s searching for adventur ous woman who is doing/has done things out of the ordinary with her life to compare notes and plot possible course together. Box 4 0 3 __________ 4 3 , ATTRACTIVE, TALL NS, PENT-UP affection for shy, intuitive, mysterious witch. We will be close, caring, private, enduring. Purring like cats. Singing like birds. Candle quiet. Where are you? Box 4 0 0 _______________________ SWM, 4 4 , FAST-PACED, OVER ACHIEV ER, 1 5 0 lbs., 5 ’8 ", very fit, business owner, light smoker, loves cooking, dancing, shopping & my dog. ISO F, fit & friendly. Ready-made family nice. Box 324__________________________ SUNLIGHT FILLS A CABIN BY A moun tain stream. Bearded craftsman, 3 5 , NS, NA, ND, NTV, flexible schedule. Seek F to ski hard, play fair and have fun. Box 3 9 5
GSPF, CREATIVE, BRIGHT, ATTRACTIVE, playful spirit, adventurous, ISO partner with similar characteristics, late 3 0 s4 0 s. Must like kids. Box 4 1 3 ________ HEART-CENTERED, ATTRACTIVE, inde pendent, active, aware, growth-oriented PF, 4 8 , NS/NS/ND, seeks kindred PF spirit for friendship, poss. LTR. Love nature, the arts, kids, play, creativity, spirituality. Burl./Add. Co. Box 4 0 6 GWF, MATURE, LOVES TO DANCE, romantic walks in the moonlight, can dlelight dinners. Looking for GF, NS, age & looks unimportant. Clean/neat a must. LTR w/ right person. Take a chance. Box 3 9 3
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MaWPF WANTS TO HELP YOU FULFILL your fantasies. Seeking discreet rela tionships with BPM, BPF or BCU for tender, sensual encounters. All ages welcome. Box 4 1 5
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DIRTY BOY. GWM, 3 6 , SEEKS TRAINING, discipline & more. Box 4 0 2 _________ 4 8 , 5 ’io”, 1 5 0 LBS., LOOKING FOR M companion & friend. Enjoy cooking, quiet times, massage, rides & walks in the country. Rutland area. Box 3 9 7 MIDDLE-AGED, CLEAN BiWM WOULD like to meet WM, 1 8 -2 4 , for very plea surable sexual experiences discreetly. Pref. thin & clean. Box 3 9 8
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EARTH LOVER ISO LIFE/TRAVEL PAL Kayak, swim, surf, hike, camp New Zealand, India, Ctrl. Amer.?You pick. 4 9 , 6 ’, 1 6 0 lbs., gardener, homesteader, ecobuilder (scrounged materials), offgrid Luddite, sports playing, massage, political activist, attractive, healthy top, creative, considerate. Box 3 9 1 _______ GWM SEEKS TO MEET OTHER GM FOR friendship & possibly more. I am 3 7 , blue eyes, brow hair, very healthy, in great shape. I enjoy cooking, dining out, going for long rides in the country. If you’re out there, please drop me a line. Box 3 8 9
1 2 /6 ,
UNIV. MALL You said, “ Hi.” I was awestruck. Last week in Nov., you were babysitting tittle girl at pool. We talked. I’d love to see your smile again. Box 4 1 8 _____________________ WE’VE KINDA MET ON THE HIGHWAY A couple of times in Williston. Interested? I am WM, 3 6 . Please write. Box 4 0 7
; digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers an only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO
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