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02A december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 contents 03A

sections 43A

03B 10B 12B

23B

club dates venues pop ten top 10 CDs

m u s ic

31B 33B 35B 37B

a rt

art review exhibitions

39A 39A

film

43A 43A 44A 45A

best & worst film clips flick chick film quiz c a le n d a r

calendar listings scene@

on the cover 2002 {hindsight} features

COVER: DON EGGERT [DESIGN]

07A

03B 06B

22 A

13B 17B 18B 19B

24 A

You've gotta hand it to Magician-Without-Borders Tom Verner

W hen Bush Comes To Shove... A look back at 2002 BY PETER KURTH

p e r s o n a ls

newcomb news quirks dug nap fickle fannie bliss straight dope peanutbutter story minute life in hell red meat 7D crossword free will astrology lola ethan green

Sleight Makes Right?

BY SUSAN GREEN

c la s s ifie d s

funstuff

The year in review

BY PETER FREYNE

c la s s e s

employment spacefinder automotive wellness

Back Track

28A 05A 08A 10A 10A 12A 12A 12A 21B 21B 21B 22B 22B 23B 24B

Kahn-Do Attitude

At home with UVM's new first spouse BY PAMELA POLSTON

colum ns

07A inside track BY PETER FREYNE AN IRREVERENT 09A consumer correspondent

r e a d o n v t p o l it ic s

BY KENNETH CLEAVER PUSHING THE ENVELOPE

11A hackie BY JERNIGAN PONTIAC A CABBIE’S REAR VIEW 15A work BY SUSAN GREEN VERMONTERS ON THE JOB 44A flick chick BY SUSAN GREEN SHORT TAKES ON THE REEL WORLD

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f decembei: 26, 2002-january 08/2003 I SEVENDAYS

SEVENDAYS

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Pamela Polston Paula Routly Rick Woods Peter Freyne Ruth Horowitz David Diefendorf, Joanna May Susan Green, Ken Picard Gabrielle Salerno Ethan Covey

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS GENERAL MANAGER CONTRIBUTING EDITOR ASSISTANT EDITOR PROOFREADERS STAFF WRITERS CALENDAR WRITER MUSIC WRITER

Donald R. Eggert Rev. Diane Sullivan Stefan Bumbeck

ART DIRECTOR ASSISTANT ART DIRECTOR DESIGNER PRODUCTION MANAGER/ ACCOUNTS RECEIVABLE CIRCULATION

Aldeth Pullen Rick Woods Ellen Biddle Kristi Batchelder Michael Bradshaw Michelle Brown Allison Davis Colby Roberts

AD DIRECTOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES

CLASSIFIEDS/PERSONALS MANAGER

Jess Campisi

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Marc Awodey, Alexia Brue, Colin Clary, Kenneth Cleaver, Michael Colby, Peter Freyne, Anne Galloway, Gretchen Giles, Margot Harrison, Tom Huntington, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Jeremy Kent, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Jernigan Pontiac, Cathy Resmer, Robert Resnik, Kirt Zimmer

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Andy Duback, Jordan Silverman, Matthew Thorsen, Jeb Wallace-Brodeur

ILLUSTRATORS

Harry Bliss, Gary Causer, Steve Hogan, Abby Manock, Tim Newcomb, Dan Salamida, Michael Tonn

CIRCULATION

Harry Applegate, David Bouffard, Jane Bouffard, Joe Bouffard, Pat Bouffard, Chelsea Clark, Justin Hart, Charlie McGann, Nat Michael, Shawn Scheps, Frank Smecker, Bill and Heidi Stone SEVEN DAYS is published by Da Capo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free of charge in greater Burlington, Middlebury, Montpelier, Stowe, the Mad River Valley, Rutland, St. Albans and Plattsburgh. Circulation: 25,000.

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Six-m onth F irst Class subscriptions are available for $80. One-year First Class subscriptions are available for $150. Six-m onth Third Class subscriptions are available for $35. One-year Third Class subscriptions are available for $65. Please call 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to "Subscriptions" at the address below. For Classifieds/Personals or display advertising please call the number above. SEVEN DAYS shall not be held liable to any advertiser for any loss that results from the incorrect publication of its advertise ment. If a mistake is ours, and the advertising purpose has been rendered valueless, SEVEN DAYS may cancel the charges for the advertisement, or a portion thereof as deemed reasonable by the publisher.

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AUDIT CIRCULATION

CHECK OUT WCLX

“What’s the Point?” [Dec. 11] is a very interesting title for Susan Greens article about WNCS and its most recent changes. Ever since WNCS hopped on the “let’s-callit-a-one-word-name” (the Buzz, the River, Kiss, Champ, Bob, Carol, Ted and Alice!) radio-station bandwagon, we have been asking jokingly, “What is the Point?” This is definitely not a sudden change. WNCS has been subtly changing over the years. This most recent programming change is just more blatant... bound to happen with any corporately owned radio sta tion that’s viewed solely as a profit making [“Vermont’s music profit making ad]venture. As a radio person, I find myself punching the buttons in my car often, to hear what’s going on at other area radio stations. Over the past several years, more often than not, tuning into WNCS has been predictable. I would either hear a mediocre tune by some band I had never heard of and would not hear from again... or I would hear numerous variations of whining women in the throes of Adult Alternative Angst... However, WNCS was refreshing, if only because it was a welcome change from the endless tape loop of mid’70s hits being cranked out non stop by Burlington’s QCR... now WOKO. It was WIZN that really got the Album Rock format so very

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people who truly love and appreci ate music. Radio stations have become investment properties. These “entrepreneurs” want to turn a profit quickly and would broad cast cat fights or coyotes howling if that would bring in the bucks. One can only hope that the sup port and encouragement that we receive from our growing audience of loyal listeners will help in some way to start to turn around this disturbing trend. In reading Susan Green’s article, it seemed like the former employ ees of WNCS were just finding this all out. It’s really not news any more. This is the direction radio has been going in for over a decade now. “Nobody told me what was coming...” said Jody Petersen. WNCS had become a “legend” of sorts and people are resistant to change. The good news is that you don’t have to “adjust” to a new for mat on any station you once lis tened to a lot. All it will take is a slight movement of the radio dial. ' You will hear how FM rock radio is meant to sound. You can actual ly still hear David Crosby singing about that “freak flag” on WCLX.

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right... WIZN was nearly perfect during the ’80s in its choice of music and knowledgeable disc jockeys... But that was then and this is now. WIZN changed, too. I consider myself very fortunate indeed to have started my broad casting career over 15 years ago, when radio was still a fun and cre ative enterprise. Youngsters entering Radio World today have absolutely no idea how much fun it can be! It’s supposed to be fun. And a big part of the fun is the surprise. Mark Miller says, “We give DJs more lee way than any station in the entire United States.” (Oh, really? One has to wonder where Mark obtained this information.) When I’m on the air I work from CD to CD, choosing tunes according to sound or theme without a playlist! What studio is that?you might ask. Well, there just so happens to be a radio station in our wonderful little state of Vermont... where the disc jockeys who play what they want to play are still alive and well. I am one of them. And the station is WCLX (102.5FM)... Susan Green neglected to men tion WCLX in her article. One has to wonder why. Perhaps because she spoke mainly to occupants of “the glass bubble” in Montpelier. True. We are small. And... we are competing with “giants.” But the big cheeses who own the big radio companies aren’t in the business for the music. Radio, for the most part, is no longer controlled by

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I letters 05A

S E V E N DAYS w ants your rants and raves, in 2 5 0 words or fewer. Letters m u st respond to content in S E V E N DAYS. Include your full n a m e and a daytim e phone n u m b er and send to: S E V E N DAYS, RO. B ox 1164, Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 -1 0 1 5 e-mail: letters@sevendaysvt.com

have been listening to The Point since I moved to Vermont in ’93 and, over the past year, the station has lost many of the people and qualities that I admired most — and with them, my desire to listen. Thank goodness Greg Hooker is still there to listen to, but I worry about how stressful it must be to be a DJ when there’s no creativity in the job. The management of The Point clearly doesn’t understand how radio works in Vermont. It works like other Vermont businesses: local, real, creative connecting is

better — better for advertisers and better for listeners. Even the quali ty of the advertising on The Point is deteriorating and, as your article noted, the frequent station identifi cations would turn off any intelli gent listener. Vermont is filled with intelli gent, creative people who have enjoyed listening to The Point for years. IfThe Point continues mainstreaming (dumbing down) its for mat and song mix and silencing its DJs, it will lose its listenership — and those coveted Arbitron num

bers. There’s no point in selling ads to big-time advertisers if no one is listening to them. We will all have lost something special if the true quality of The Point — its unique quirkiness and personality — dis appears. I urge station management to stop now and reassess its plans to make The Point just like every other major-market station. The whole point is, the station is (or should be) different. That’s The Point.

BRAVO FOR THE BRIDGE

on specific issues, the Radical Right-wing has been relentlessly beating us over the head with a clear and concise ideology, provid ing a solid foundation for their positions: small government as a means to opportunity, personal responsibility and absolute morali ty. The Radical Right-wing has a fundamentally individualistic, selfcentered view of society, which they’ve promoted very effectively. Democrats and liberals, in the meantime, continue to chase after specific issues. I’d suggest that Republican gains in recent years can be attributed to this as much as anything else. Democrats and liberals should be proud of their defense of human rights, but why don’t we say why this is important? It’s not as obvious as one might think. To me, liberalism is the belief that society, and therefore opportu nity for everyone, is diminished by Annie Follett inequality and injustice. It’s the BURLINGTON belief that rights bring responsibili ties, and the belief that we need LIBERAL PRIDE checks and balances the private I was happy to read in your Dec. 11 sector cannot provide. It means issue that John Tracy [“Leading embracing reason and rejecting the Man?”] is proud to belong to a party simplistic fictions of absolutism. that stands for “women’s rights, Whatever form the message labor and human rights.” He should takes, it must be clear and funda be proud, but I wonder about the mental, and delivered as loudly beliefs behind this stand. In other and relentlessly as the selfishness of words, what is the big picture? the Radical Right-wing. While Democrats and liberals Scudder C. Kelvie have been staking out their stands BURLINGTON

Yes, it will now cost more to build a bike bridge across the Winooski River [“Inside Track,” Dec. 11 j, but the current low bid is less than the 3.2 million that state officials initially balked at. But we must not forget the big picture. The cur rent plan is a boon for anglers, skaters, pedestrians, bike riders and the handicapped, with minimum impact to the Delta Park wildlife. This bridge is a major connection Liz Schlegel in the Lake Champlain Bikeways WATERBURY network that will link Vermont to Canada and New York. This is a popular route, as was made clear in 2002 with a 17 percent increase in bike ferry ridership over the previ ous year. Governor Dean supports this bridge and truly envisions the overall economic benefits. The money is there now for this proj ect. Please support this wonderful endeavor and generations will ben efit from this magnificent bridge.

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I inside track 07A

AN IRREVERENT READ ON

EUNIGS V E JAZZ

VT POLTICS

f W E D - T H U R 7 -1 0 PM

B istro D in n e r fo r %

Back Track: The Year in Review

• C h o ic e o f So u p o r Salad * A n y B istro E n tre e • Coffee o r Tea • 5 =0 0 ’till C lo sin g , Su n d a y th ro u gh Ttefewsw., T h u rsd a y

ILLUSTRATIONS Tim Newcomb

asten your seat belts! It’s time for a ride through the past year to recall a few of the events that made 2002 unique. JAN U AR Y

Seven Days started the New Year by join ing the Rutland Herald and Times Argus lawsuit against Gov. Howard Dean. HoHo had refused to release his daily sched ule. The papers argued it was a public document and the public had a right to see it. The big political fight in January occurred when Republican State. Sen. Barbara Snelling announced her retire-

On January 31 th e form er darling of th e Republican religious right, Ruth Dwyer, made her debut on WVNY-TV as an investigative journalist.

gious right: Remove the name “Snelling”from the Vermont history books and there aren’t many stars left to reflect the achievements o f the Vermont Republican Party over the last 30 years. But the Republican Party including its Vermont chapter, has changed. U.S. Sen. Jim Jeffords proved that back in May when he bolted the GOP, saying it no longer was the party o f Justin M orrill, George A iken and Deane Davis. Republican House Speaker W alter Freed o f Dorset proved it last week when he refused to join the applause for the line in Gov. Deans State o f the State speech highlighting Vermont’s championing o f equal rights for all — even for gay and les bian Vermonters. After all, Wally owes his gavel to the blatant bigotry o f the anti-gay backlash. And an activist band o f right-wing religious conservatives proved it Monday night when they mounted a well-organized effort to deny Barbara’s daughter, Diane Snelling, a place on the list o f three rec ommended candidates. Why> Because Diane, like her mother, is a “moderate”Republican. And her mother supported civil unions and a woman’s right to choose. The Vermont Taliban, like that in Afghanistan, has no room for “moder ates. ” To them, they’re indistinguishable from infidels. When the results were announced, National Committeeman Skip Vallee and State Rep. K urt W right appeared shell shocked. In his nominating speech for his buddy Doran-Doran, Kwik Stop Kurt urged his fellow Rs to show “that Jim Jeffords was wrong about the Republican Party. ” That the party is “inclusive, ”has a “broad base” and “all points o f view are welcome. ” Though stumping for Metzger, Kwik Stop implored the delegates to include Snelling the Moderate as one o f their three choices. “I f we select three conservatives, ’’said Wright, “it will look like Sen. Jeffords was right. ” Guess what? Jeezum Jim was right! Diane Snelling was snubbed by the county committee that night, but Howard Dean appointed her anyway. She took to the Senate like a fish to water and easily won election in the fall. And on January 31 the former darling of the Republican religious right, Ruth Dwyer, made her debut on WVNY-TV as an investigative journalist:

ment from the Senate. That left an open seat for the governor to fill. But first, the Chittenden County Republican “My campaigns are history and that Committee met to vote for three choices part o f my life is a closed chapter, "Dwyer to send to Ho-Ho. noted. “I ’m coming on board here as a Babs wanted the seat to go to her dear reporter, pure and simple. My overriding daughter, Diane Snelling. In a column goals will be fairness and journalistic objec that kicked up more dust than we real tivity. ” ized at the time — “The Taliban Wins!” — yours truly lamented the takeover of the local Republican Party by the reliIN S ID E T R A C K » 16 A

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Curses, Foiled Again Police inves tigating reports of a front-end loader hauling away an automated teller machine from a theater complex in Saint-Eustache, Quebec, were able to pursue the vehicle because it left tire tracks in the fresh snow. Unable to persuade the driver to stop, however, the 16 officers taking part in the low-speed chase fired 28 bullets, first at the construction vehicle’s tires, then at its radiator. It continued. According to Inspector Robert Green, the chase ended only after the driver took a shortcut through a

Mistaken Identity Authorities in

to bulk up ordinary house bricks. The “biobricks” contain as much 30 percent sludge, and, Weng insisted, they don’t smell. • An out-of-the-way tourist attrac tion in Rockport, Massachusetts, is the Paper House, whose walls are made from 215 layers of newspaper. Edna Beaudoin, 61, told the Boston Globe that her great-uncle Elis Stenman built the summer cottage in the 1920s. He originally intended to use the newspapers as insulation, Stepped in It Big Time Police but never got around to building the charged Jacob Smith, 26, with robouter walls, so he varnished them in place. He also spent 18 years fur nishing the home with items made All Bark, No Bite After someone from tightly rolled newspaper logs, JBY JROLAND-SWEET__________ A broke into the Stevenses’ home in including a writing desk made of field, and the front-end loader top bing a betting shop on Australia’s Swansea, Wales, and stole three chil newspapers chronicling the transat pled over. Police arrested Steve Gold Coast after they used enhanced dren’s bicycles, the family bought a lantic flight of Charles Lindbergh. Lemieux, 32. photos from a security camera to guard dog. Someone stole the dog. “It’s a family heirloom,” said match the pattern of dog excrement “He is scary-looking but dull,” Beaudoin, who lives next door and Fruits of Research Following found at the crime scene to that on Sharon Stevens told the Western M ail maintains the Paper House. studies suggesting that cellular Smith’s shoe. “It’s not rocket science. newspaper. “He is valuable, and it phones cause brain tumors, Levi It’s as plain as poo on your shoe,” looks like he was deliberately taken.” Paper or Plastic? In September, Strauss & Co. has introduced a new said police Sgt. Alan Piper, who Mexico began replacing its 20 peso line of its Dockers pants fitted with admitted to also doing a smell test to This Old House Researchers in bills with plastic notes to foil coun “anti-radiation” pockets for protec confirm the match. Taiwan reported they have developed terfeiters and increase the life of the tion against cell phones. “W ere not a way to transform solid waste into bills. Officials said the new plastic implying in any way that mobile The Wheels on the Bus Go Thud homes. Spurred by the need to find bills are paper-thin, the same size as phones are dangerous,” Cedric Rear wheels fell off Baltimore city new uses for the 670,000 tons of their paper counterparts, and work Jungpeter, Levi’s European commu buses once last August and January, sewage sludge the island produces in automated teller machines. Since nications manager, told the Reuters three times in February, twice in each year because landfill space is Australia began using plastic money news agency. “O ur intention is not March, four times in April and six running out, Chih-Huang Weng, in 1988, some 20 countries have fol to cash in on consumer fears but to times in May. Some of the runaway leader of the team at I-Shou lowed its lead. provide the consumers with what 200-pound wheels rolled into cars, University, said that sludge from they want.” buildings and a natural-gas tank, waste-treatment plants can be used Hillsdale County, Michigan, discov ered that 16-year-old Brian Andrew Newman, who carried on a year-long relationship with a 14-year-old girl, was actually 22-year-old Valerie Charles. She used a back brace to hide her feminine features and three socks rolled up in a condom to have sexual contact with the teenage girl, whom she met through an Internet chat room.

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which ruptured and leaked. After transit officials announced they had taken steps to solve the problem by retrofitting 400 buses with new equipment and revised maintenance standards, on June 12 one of them lost two rear wheels. “Based on what we’ve seen so far,” Maryland Trans portation Secretary John D. Porcari said, “these are failures on multiple levels: quality control, training, supervision.” According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in the entire rest of the country during the past three years, only one bus has lost a wheel.

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I consumer correspondentO ^C

BY KENNETH CLEAVER

LE TTE R S THAT P U S H T H E E N V E LO P E

Kenneth H. Cleaver

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Ms. Linda Huett President & CEO WelgM w atch ers 175 crossways "a Woodbury, NY 11797 Dear Ms. Huett.

r program, but

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10A I december 26-january 08, 2002 I SEVENDAYS

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TO GfcRTh

b y duG Na P

BY DAVID DIEFENDORF As you can guessfrom her name, Fickle Fannie is hard to pre dict. Her likes and dislikes changefrom one week to the next. This week, as always, the things she likes allfollow a secret rule. Can you figure out what it is? (Keep in mind that Fickle Fannie likes words. But each week she likes something different about them— how they’re spelled, how they sound, how they look. what they mean or what’s inside them.) THE PUZZLE:

Fannie's amused by CAROL, but CATHY gets on her nerves. A lively PARTY holds her attention, but she's bored by a sedate SOIREE.

*\S\ > c

She plans on STOCKING lots of canned food, rather than CONSUMING what she's got. When it comes to the denizens of Eden, she admires EVE but not ADAM. All things considered, she'd rather be PRESENT than ABSENT. She'd rather take a five-week VACATION than a five-minute BREAK. Climbing a TREE is an adventure, but climbing a MOUNTAIN makes her nauseated. She'd rather hang with Susie the CARD than with Sylvie the NERD. If it weren't for its outre DECORATIONS, the bar next door would be DRAB.

w►—<

She relishes a wild boar DINNER more than a tofu LUNCH.

Difficulty ratingfor this puzzle: EASY to MEDIUM. I f you’re stuck, see the H IN T printed sideways on this page. I f you cave, see the ANSWER on page 12a. So much for Fickle Fannie’s tastes this week. Next week she’ll have a whole new set o f likes and dislikes.

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Love and the Big O r. Cabbie, its your lucky night. We need call from the show and they flew us to Chicago!” a ride all the way to Georgia. Can you “Did they put you up in a hotel?” take us?” The woman stood at the side of my “They sure did, and they gave us 200 taxi, one hand squeezing the top of her bucks to spend for the day we were coat, bracing against the frigid winter there. It was awesome! The best part is this room you hang out in at the TV air, the other holding the hand of the man standing next to her. They both station before you go on. They serve you looked about 30 and normal — and great food and there’s, like, candles at every table.” normal, in my world, is wonderful. I could see in their eyes the tenderness “Did you get to meet Oprah before the show?” and connection between them. “Well, that depends,” I replied. “Did we e er, and she was soooo “Whaddaya, live in Atlanta?” God, I ’m sweet! V .at a great lady.” “How did the make-over go? Was it a hilarious, I thought to myself. The woman smiled — generously, I success?” thought — at my flimsy attempt at Arnold shifted forward in his seat drollery. “Tonight I wish we did,” she and lifted his arms, palms facing said with a shiver. “No, we’re off Exit upwards. “Well, what do you think?” 18, just north of the Milton border.” I laughed and adjusted the mirror so “Sure, jump in the back,” I said. I could take a good gander. What I saw “The cab’s nice and warm.” was a most unassuming, regular-looking fellow. They eagerly slid into the rear seat, “Could you turn slightly to the left?” I asked, figuring I might as well play it like a judge at a beauty competition. “Great, now back the other way. Uh-huh, uh-huh, that’s great.” “So?” Arnold asked. “What do you say?” “Well, not having seen the and I raised the fan a notch as we pulled ‘before,’ it’s impossible for me to com away from the curb. The guy noticed ment on the metamorphosis, but I will me doing it and said, “Thanks, man. say your current look is not too shabby.” The heat feels great.” “That’ll work,” Arnold replied with a “We drank a little too much tonight, chuckle. ‘“Not too shabby’ is not too so we’re leaving the Honda downtown,” shabby.” the woman interjected. “It’s our fourth We settled into a quiet ride up the anniversary and we’re still in love!” Interstate. I played the “smooth jazz” In the rear-view I could see her hus station softly in the background as the band smile and give her a soft squeeze anniversary couple snuggled in the rear on the arm. Another man might have seat. Rarely do I listen to this format; to been embarrassed by such a public my ears it sounds like music created by declamation of love by his wife, but good musicians who ve had their teeth these two were on the same page. pulled. But it does have a certain emol “Congratulations, that’s pretty darn lient quality, which seemed perfectly good,” I said. “Some couples don’t make suited to the mellow mood in the cab. it to four months. W hat’s your secret?” Just call me DJ Jazzy Jernigan. “I love him just the way he is,” the I dropped them off at their cozy woman replied without hesitation. She home just off Route 7 and watched as turned to her husband and giggled. they scurried up to the front door, “You know that’s true, honey, even hand-in-hand all the way. White lights though I got you on ‘Oprah.’” twinkled around the door frame and “You guys were on the Oprah Winfrey along a row of evergreen bushes. I let show? That’s, like, far out!” When I get out a big sigh. excited I tend to revert to ’70s-speak. So much “couples behavior” that “Doesn’t your marriage have to be felling plays out in the back of my taxi is tem apart to get on a show like that?” pestuous, dramatic and even emotional “No, this was a ‘make-over’ show. I ly abusive. What a relief to experience wrote in describing Arnold and how two folks who love each other simply much I love him, and how he had been and respectfully, particularly amidst a talking about changing his look. I mean, holiday season that’s often marked by it was the year 2000 already and he still family histrionics. had long shaggy hair. I remember the O f course, next week Arnold and day his mom was over and looked down Karen could be hurling tree ornaments at his mismatching socks. She said to at each other. But for the half-hour I me, ‘Karen, you must really love this spent with them, their tranquil intimacy guy.’ Anyway, the next thing, we got a was a breath of fresh air. ®

Some m en m ight have been embarrassed by such a public declamation of love by his wife, but these two were on the sam e page.

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12A | december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

bliss

BY HARRY BLISS

WAR AMD P E A C E

JA M B S

KCCHALKA

TH E Cj l F T W R A P

RY-CECIL ADAMS ALL WORTHWHILE HUMAN KNOWLEDGE

Dear Cecil, No quotation dictionary gives the origin o f the common phrase “Elvis has left the building. ” Who said it first? — Nicole A. Palo Alto, CA

later ’gator, 30, buh-bye, get lost, ite missa est, the end,

finito, Scotty, beam me up.

Q UESTIO NS W E’RE STILL TH IN K IN G ABO UT Dear Cecil, I go camping a lot and sometimes people like to waste my matches by throwing them in the fire. Do you know i f they have invented fire-resistant matches? I f so, where can I fin d themI — ISeeUOO

Funny you should ask. The guy who said it just left the building himself. Horace Lee Logan, founder and longtime producer of Louisiana Hayride, the country-music radio show that gave Elvis his big break, died October 13 at age 86. In 1954 Sam Phillips of Sun Records sent Logan a demo recording of the 19-year-old Elvis singing “That’s All Right, Dear Cecil, Mama” and “Blue Moon of Kentucky,” touting this white Is there a recipe for baggly eyes? I f so, can you forward it to kid who sounded black. Elvis was a radical departure from me? the country crooners who were the staple of Hayride lineups — lilmoomoo at the time. (To give you an idea, one of the acts that pre ceded Elvis on his first night was a yodeler.) Dear Cecil But Logan decided to take a chance. On October 16, In my personal and fam ily development class (home ec) my 1954, Elvis debuted on the show, which was broadcast live teacher said that salt and pepper are married, so that’s why they on KWKH, a 50,000-watt station in Shreveport, Louisiana, always have to stay by each other. I f they are, then one has to be that reached 28 states. The studio audience responded polite the husband and the other the wifi. A ll o f the people I ’ve asked ly to the young singer — he had yet to develop his trade have agreed that the pepper would be the husband and the salt mark hip wiggle or sultry sneer — but Logan and company the wife. Well, what i f the fork, knife and spoon were a family. saw his potential and signed him up for a regular gig. Soon Which would be the dad, the mom and the kid, and would the teenage girls discovered him and Elvis was on his way. kid be a boy or a girl? Also, what i f thunder, lightning and rain After two years of touring the South and Southwest and were a family, how would that go? drawing increasing national attention, Elvis bought out his — Molly Moxie contract with Hayride for the unheard-of sum of $10,090, with the stipulation that he give one last performance, Dear Cecil, which turned out to be on December 15, 1956. By this W hat would happen i f a giant alien came up and ate the time he was verging on superstardom. Ten thousand kids sun, would it die? What would happen to us. Would it eat us jammed the youth building on the fairgrounds in too or would it be too fu ll from the sun. Is there any nurtional Shreveport and screamed at the top of their lungs for the value in the content o f the sun or anyn o f the planets o f the matter. duration of the King’s 45-minute show. (According to KWKH disc jockey Frank Page, it was sometimes hard to — D Guarna tell if Elvis was singing, or even if the band wasplaying.) After Elvis had given his final encore and left the stage, the Dear Cecil, crowd headed for the exits, even though many other Hayride Does any one group or individual, anywhere, own rain? Or acts were still waiting to perform. Logan took the microphone claim to? and pleaded with Elvis fans to return to their seats: “Please, — Saqib R. young people... Elvis has left the building. He has gotten in Los Angeles his car and driven away... Please take your seats.” The words became part of the Elvis legend and were Dear Cecil, repeated at many subsequent shows. Now they’re a catchSubj: donald duck phrase whose meaning, usually tinged with irony, is clear to ^ Can you send me the hearing o f him saying any o f that? all: the show’s over, the curtain has fallen, the sun has set, — theallens that’s all she wrote, the fat lady has sung, our work here is done, move along, nothing more to see, disperse, beat it, Dear Cecil, turn the page, hit the road, don’t forget to tip your waitress, A t what temperature will my eyeballs freeze? pack it up, turn out the lights, das ist alles, time’s up, toodle— Randall oo, exeunt omnes, class dismissed, back to work, don’t let the screen door hit you where the good Lord split you, end of So, Randall. I take it you’re new to Chicago? story, that’s all there is there ain’t no more, so long, hasta la vista, you don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here, — CECIL ADAMS Is there som ething you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver th e Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at th e Chicago Reader, H E . Illin ois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-m ail him at cecil@ chireader.com .

Fickle Fannie Answer: Each word can be preceded by Christmas.

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I 13A

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Pipe Dreams he litde cartoon outhouse on Vernon Ploof’s ad in the Yellow Pages has a deeper meaning for the 61-year-old licensed plumber, who lives in Colchester. During his early childhood in Vermont, going to the bathroom meant a trip outdoors both at home and at the one-room school he attended. But for the last four decades, the bespectacled Ploof has been a man who knows his way around flush toilets — not to mention sinks, tubs and showers. --------------------------------At this time of year, Ploof’s Plumbing and Heating gets the occasional call to thaw frozen NAME Vernon Ploof pipes, which is accomplished with a device that JO B Plumber Colchester resembles a battery charger with jumper cables. LOCATION The bulk of his business, however, is bathroom IMAGE renovation. Ploof has installed a virtual workshop in his blue 1968 Chevy Jordan Gremlin bread truck, with numerous tools of the trade neatly arranged on the Silverman handmade shelves. A tall, mustachioed man with a foil head of graying hair, Ploof says that plumbers these days need multiple skills. So the Gremlin is stocked with the drills and saws of a carpenter, the ratchets and wrenches of an automotive mechanic, the trowels of a mason and the wire testers of an electrician. “No surgery,” he quips. “I don’t use scalpels.”

SEVEN DAYS: As a kid, did you have any inkling you might become a plumber?

SD: Then what?

friend, Nancy [Macy]. By then, I had my Vermont master’s license. I joined Local 693 of the Plumbers and Pipe Fitters Union. New jobs came through them. That was great until last year.

SD: What happened?

VP: When IBM laid all those people off, we got butchered. Union plumbers used to install all their machinery. We had hundreds of peo ple working there. If I stuck with the union after that, I’d have to travel to earn a living. Instead, three months ago, I started my own business back up.

SD: Has it taken off?

VP: Some days more than you know what to do with; other times, it can be slow.

VP: After 14 years of plumbing in the South, I went to Connecticut and VERNON PLOOF: No. I joined the worked as a first-class marine pipefit SD: Is there a lot of competi tion? ter on Trident submarines. Marines at age 17. For four years, I VP: Not really. It’s a dying occupa was stationed in California, Japan, tion. No youngsters are getting into SD: Nuclear? Okinawa, California and North Carolina — that’s where I got married VP: Yup. It’s a very detailed process, this at all anymore. But it’s all I and started as a plumber in 1963. but boring. You do a lot of standing know. It used to be an excellent around. That lasted four years. I had career, until plastic began replacing SD: You didn't want to come already gotten my master plumber’s metal. license by taking a 100-question back to Vermont? SD: You mean pipes? written test. So I decided to start VP: Well, actually, I left Vermont VP: Yeah. Now a lot of people go to my own business, Serve-All when I was 8. We moved to Home Depot to fix their own plumb Massachusetts; that’s where I spent Plumbing. ing. It’ s easier than the old cast-iron another eight years. pipes with lead joints. SD: What was it like to be your

SD: So what happened in North Carolina?

VP: We were in High Point, which is known as the “furniture capital of the world,” for some reason. A friend told me plumbing was a good thing to get into. The GI Bill essentially paid for my apprenticeship, which took four years. In 1968,1 got what’s called a journeymans license.

own boss?

VP: A headache. I was more or less doing all the plumbing, the paper work, going out for supplies, looking for new customers, doing estimates. But I kept it up for 13 years. Got married again. When the economy started falling apart in the late 1980s, the phone stopped ringing. In ’9 4 ,1 came home. I’m here with my girl

SD: Other than your ad with the outhouse illustration, how do you attract customers?

VP: It doesn’t make §ense to do other kinds of advertising. When people need a plumber, they look in the Yellow Pages. Plain and simple. But I’m probably one of the most affordable plumbers around. Most

charge between $55 and $70 an hour; my rate’s $45 an hour. And I’m licensed. Customer should always ask about credentials. If plumbers and apprentices aren’t licensed, they shouldn’t be in your house. Besides, that’s the law.

SD: What are the dangers?

VP: Last week, I helped out a guy with a cracked shower stall. I discov ered it had no trap. His washing machine didn’t, either. That’s how his previous plumber left things. If there are no traps, you can get sewer gas backing up, spreading germs and mold.

SD: Yuck. Do problems ever occur in the other direction? Have you been through any nightmares?

VP: One comes right to mind. In 1987 or so, I was a subcontractor at a millionaire’s home on a bluff over looking the ocean in Connecticut. I had to lie on my back and dig trenches from a crawl space under the house to get new pipes in and tie them into the others. There were rats.

SD: That sounds horrible.

VP: Even worse, I had trouble getting paid by the contractor. He disap peared. I knew he was shady. So, I took all the fixtures and left. The job remained unfinished for a few months, until the owner settled with me.

SD: It's a jungle out there.

VP: One of my two mottos in life is, “Don’t be greedy.”

SD: What's the other?

VP: “Be nice to the plumber.” ®

26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

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At years end, Ruthless Ruth is still on the airwaves. She mar ried the interstate speeder fea tured in one of her reports. FEBRUARY

In the post-9/11 world, a little battle broke out over Homeland Security. Specifically, the Vermont National Guard boot ed after-school programs out of its underused armories in order to protect us from terrorism. Some lawmakers found that to be a bit of a security stretch and put a little heat on Gen. Martha Rainville. Martha did the right thing. The after-school programs are back in, and there’s been no security breach. The Vermont Taliban took a hit when Rev. Joe Rinaldi, pastor of the Newbury Bible Church, was arrested for sexual ly abusing kids. Rinaldi had been an outspoken lobbyist against civil unions. Mr. SelfRighteous copped a plea, but at years end the judge threw it out. On the political front, our favorite presidential hopeful was starting to hit the national radar screen:

Onion River Coop’s City Market turned out to be better than expected, much to the dis may of local belly-achers. MARCH

House Speaker Walter Freed turned a lot of heads by block ing debate on a bipartisan amendment to raise the state cigarette tax. We’d learn later just how important the cigarette tax is to his bottom line. Meanwhile, yours truly ral lied to the defense of UVM’s new president. Dan Fogel got a whipping from departing Burlington Free Press columnist Debbie Salomon for deciding to build a house on the lakefront. That meant he would not be living in the official resi dence on the Hill, not far from the Debster’s hacienda. Hey, what ever happened to Vermont hospitality? People have a right to live where they want to live, right? The issue of where Fogel and his wife

Meanwhile, Dean’s campaign visit to Manchester, New

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Hampshire, last week was a home run. He received not only local but national coverage. Ho-Ho appeared live from Manchester on C N N ’s “‘Inside Politics” with Judy Woodruff that afternoon. Asked how he’ll deal with comingfrom such a small state far outside the Washington Beltway, Dean replied, “I don’t worry about it. I ’m going to let the message take care o f itself. I think I have something to say. And I don’t think what I have to say is being said by anybody else. ” Vermont’s governor also received top billing in Hotline, the insider Internet publication that tracks national and state races. Hotline prominently noted Dean’s New Hampshire visit and called him the “Vermonster. ”

sleep quickly replaced City Market as the target for the belly-achers. One wrote a scathing letter to the editor suggesting latenight student rowdies visit our neighborhood in the Old North End. The letter even gave our address. A week later a rock came crashing through the front-porch window. What a coincidence, eh? At the end of the month we finished off the column by say ing sayonara to the “Vermont This Week” TV audience. See, we hadn’t been invited on the panel since that “Taliban Wins” column back in January. But host Chris Graff did finally call to invite us on in late March. Unfortunately, he called back the next day to “uninvite” us. Vermont Public Television man It just kept getting better for agement had stepped in. We Ho-Ho. By year’s end, Dr. were banned. Dean would be the recognized We’d been warned a month outside-the-beltway dark horse earlier from Statehouse sources for the 2004 Democratic nomi that Speaker Freed was behind nation. an effort to limit our appear And finally, the most contro ances. Freed was threatening versial food store in Vermont Vermont Public Television with history opened in February in the power of the state purse. downtown Burlington. The Naturally, the Duke of Dorset

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Yours truly used the Easter hol iday to dig a little deeper into the financial empire run by Walter Freed, the multimillion aire Speaker of the House. Most folks thought Wally made his millions in heating oil and gasoline. Turns out he’s up to his eyeballs in cigarettes. We discovered Freeds smoke shack in West Pawlet just 175 yards from the New York State line:

A steady stream o f cars pulled into the nondescript gas station on Rt. 149 in Pawlet, Vermont, on Easter Sunday. Nine out o f 10 had New York license plates. The unusual thing about the cars arriving at Apollo Fuels was the fact that half o f them didn’t even pull up to the gas pumps. Instead, the drivers parked o ff to the side, got out and walked up to the shabby little wood-andglass kiosk to make a buy from the lone ittendant inside. A few mome> is later, they returned to their vehicles clutching their pur chases. Folks, were not talking milk or coffee. No sandwiches or candy bars are sold here. No restroom, either. That’s because the only productfor sale at the Apollo Fuels kiosk is tobacco, and the happy Hepy, Yorkers were buying up smokes by the carton. Take Robert Miller o f Glens Falls, New York. Mr. Miller told Seven Days he and his wife stop by Apollo Fuels twice a week — to buy not gas but cartons o f theirfavorite cigarettes. He said he’s been buying smokes there for years because they are “much, much cheaper" than cigarettes sold in his home state o f New York. His cartons o f USA cigs, he told us, cost up to $35 back home. But at Apollo Fuels on Sunday, Miller paid just $19.60 per carton. Such a deal! In the end, Freed gave in on raising the cigarette tax, but not until he was sure New Yorks was going up. That way the price differential keeps New Yorkers flocking to Freeds Vermont smoke shack! Also, by month’s end the VPT controversy reached a conclusion: A t the end o f last Friday’s pro gram, Mr. Graffaddressed the current dispute head on. Earlier, VPT President John King announced that “guidelines" would be drawn up and put in place to make sure no one ever again dares call the politically active, fanatical religious right in this state the “Vermont Taliban. ” That January 18 “offensive” expression, according to King, was what cost yours truly a seat on the panel. But Mr. Graffannounced onair that there will be no guide lines drawn up or put in place to

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regulate, restrict or censor the voices o f the Vermontjournalists who participate. Christopher, a Middlebury grad and vet eran Vermontjournalist, runs the Associated Press bureau in Montpeculiar. He announced he would assume a new title on the program, that o f “managing editor. ” From now on, Mr. Graff will be the one responsiblefor booking the panel, rather than VPT management. That should elimi nate the possibility their editorialjudgment might be swayed by outside politicalforces. Good move. Yours truly is but a small player in this recent drama. It's really about something much bigger — the First Amendment. Thomas Jefferson put it best in a January 28, 1786, letter to James Currie. “Our liberty depends on the freedom o f the press,’’ wrote Jefferson, “and that cannot be limited without being lost. ” VPT President John King publicly admitted last week he “mishandled" this matter. Goodfor him. Takes a big man to admit a mistake. Let's hope it sugars out as a “free speech" lesson for all o f us — a lesson that censorship is a price “TV worth watch ing" can never afford to pay.

“Theparty hierarchy, "saidM ichael Boathouse or Waterfront Park drew intense Badamo, 56, o f Montpelier, “would like me partisan howls and squeals. But last week, opponents came up with a to disappear and go away." During a recent interview at technicality requiring the council to revisit Montpelier’sfarmers’ market, Badamo gave the matter. To make Bernie Beach official requires passage o f a city ordinance, not just his analysis o f Vermont’s “fastest growing" JUNE political party. a resolution. The belly-achers, bored with complaining “There are Communist Progressives and And Republican Councilor Kevin about City Market or President Fogel’s Libertarian Progressives, ”he explained. The Curley darn near threw a fit on WCAXliving quarters, found a new target — TVSunday night, passionately standing up Communist types, he said, “want to control “Bernie Beach.” The Burlington City everything. ” The Libertarian types “don’t want to control things. I ’m a Libertariantype, "said the soft-spoken Badamo. Despite the ice-cold reception he’s received from the Progressive elite, Badamo told Seven Days this week he’s staying in the governor’s race. “I ’m plugging away. I ’m still here. I ’m still campaigning, "he said. “Ihaven’t dropped out, but I can’t say I ’m picking up steam. ” his first big economic development pro posal — reopening the racetrack in Pownal! Saddle up!

Badamo kept his word. He hung in until the bitter end and received a grand total of 1380 votes. We also learned in July that the Vermont Taliban was in retreat. The filing deadline for legislative races arrived and Rev. David Stertzbach failed to put a team on the field:

By year’s end, yours truly would be back in the “Vermont This Week’’ rota tion. In fact, we’re booked for this week’s “Year in Review” special!

Two years ago, the Bob Jones Universitytrained clergyman led a right-wing homophobic, gutter-level coup that dominated the GOP State Senate primary The Biblethumpers almost took down Republican icon MAY Barbara Snelling in the primary because she Kentucky Derby time! And we wrote didn’t share their bigoted views o f gay peo ple. about a couple of Vermont’s oldest politi cal insiders who share our love for the As the filing deadline passed at 5 p.m. on ponies: Monday, it became apparent Rev. Stertzbach is not fielding a similar slate offire-and“I had a good holiday ’’said Harlan brimstone candidates this time. Fact is, civil ferring to his week- . unions simply aren’t an issue ify.Vermont fdH&rfand a delegation c anymore. : t ~ o f six Vermonters, including fo r mer Gov. “It’s a wonderful day in the neighbor Tom Salmon, made their annual pilgrim hood, "saidRepublican National Commit age to Churchill Downs for the 128th runteeman Skip Vallee the morning after the fil ning o f the Kentucky Derby. Unfortunately ing deadline. “Not one Stertzbach candi they weren’t cashing any tickets at the bet Council had renamed North Beach after for the geographical designation. date!" he noted gleefully. “I am thrilled with ting windows since their horse, Harlan's the former mayor. But putting O f “A ll personalities aside," said the defender the moderate nature o f our balanced ticket. ” Holiday, finished far behind the wire-to- Bernardo’s name on a strip of sand caused o f tradition, “North Beach is a landmark in a firestorm: wire winner, War Emblem. the city o f Burlington and it has been North “Thepace was so slow, "said Mr. Beach. People know it as North Beach, it’s AUGUST Sylvester, “I knew the closers were dead. ” Bernie Beach is history Monday night, on maps as North Beach, and it should As July became August, the Fletcher Allen Burlap’s city council voted unanimously to always be North Beach." Health Care scandal busted wide open. OF Harlan got a lot more press by withdraw the designation, honoring We called it “Enron Medicine”: year’s end. The guy we’ve dubbed the Congressman Bernie Sanders ’ request. Hey, at least Curley didn’t make a play Godfather of Vermont Politics picked Jim Finally, Republicans, Democrats and for Oliver North Beach. Tis a mighty foul wind blowing on Douglas over Doug Racine in Vermont’s Progressives agreed on something. Speaking of Republicans, in June Hospital H ill this week. And the ghosts of gubernatorial derby. And Mr. Douglas A couple weeks back, the council passed a Inside Track introduced readers to the Mary Fletcher and Fanny Allen cannot touted Harlan as one of his closest advi hotly debated resolution (9-5), honoring the “Nasty Boys”: be resting peacefully these days. sors. Unlike May in Kentucky, November former socialist mayor by renaming North Anyone who thinks the sickening stench is in Vermont saw Harlan and his horse in Beach “Bernard Sanders Beach. ” Douglas’p it bulls are Campaign the result o f little more than a shaky “cre the winner’s circle. They settled on the beach on the north Manager Neale Lunderville and his assis ative"financing plan for a parking garage And we had to chuckle when end o f Burlington Bay after proposals to tant, Jim Barnett (both graduates o f probably still thinks Watergate was just Diamond Jim Douglas later announced rename the downtown Community American University in Washington, D.C.). about a third-rate burglary. Sharp guys. They’ve been drawing blood, To paraphrase a line that President chewing on Doug the Democrat’sflip-flops, Richard Nixon s White House counsel the Circ and single-payer health care. John Dean used in his “smokinggun" testi mony “There has been a cancer growing" on Neale and Jimmy never stopped chew Fletcher Allen Health Care (FAHC), a can ing. In fact, they chewed their way to jobs cer growing at the highest levels o f FAHC as members of the incoming Douglas management and within the inner circle administration! that appears to control the entire board o f trustees. Inside Track accurately predicted the JULY future of Mary Fanny CEO William One of the oddest things about the Boettcher: Vermont Progressive party was the way Boss Boettcher’s days on Hospital H ill are they treated their own candidate for gov numbered— probably in single digits. But ernor — Michael Badamo: the Mary Fanny management problems extend beyond Boettcher. There are too many The Prog Party's current ready-for-prime- cozy relationships and interlocking director time star, Anthony Pollina, has lowered ships. And, like the corporate boards o f his sights this year. Tony’s on course to play Enron and Adelphia Cable, there's been a spoiler in the lieutenant governor’s race, a gross lack o f oversight by trustees entrusted race he cannot possibly win. Meanwhile, the with that responsibility. only candidate for the Progressive Party nomination for governor is being treated like a leper. IN S ID E T R A C K » 2 \

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voters in November or by lawmakers in Boettcher left, but took a $750,000 retirement package with him. The investi January. Yours truly was first to predict no gation by the ad hoc committee appoint candidate in the races for Gov or GovLite would get over 50 percent. And we ed by the trustees showed Boettcher had also reported that Republican legislators deliberately evaded state oversight and kept most trustees in the dark. The board had no problem with electing the secondplace finisher if he were a Republican. accepted full responsibility, but not one trustee backed it up with a letter of resig nation. Shame on them!

between Anthony Pollina and a Democrat, I think the majority o f Republicans in the leg islature will in fact support me. I don’t think it’s in their political interests at all to install a Democrat in the lieutenant gover nor’s office. ” But Tony, what about all you’ve said,

But with the election over, the big news was about the Vermont press. Specifically, it was about the two daily newspapers owned by R. John Mitchell: the Rutland Herald and the BarreMontpelier Times Argus. Within a 10-day period, Mitchell fired the managing edi

SEPTEMBER

The scandal over the Mary Fannyc Renaissance Project wasn’t the only thing drawing attention to Hospital Hill. The nurses were in the midst of a*unionorganizing drive. And they got support from a rather surprising source — the Roman Catholic bishop of Vermont:

What i f one o f Vermont’s most powerful conservative leaders were backing the union cause? Now, that would be news, ehi Fact is, our old buddy and frequent tar getfrom the days o f Vermont's Civil Unions War, Most. Rev. Kenneth Angell, has also come out in support o f the union drive by the Mary Fanny nurses. The head o f Vermont’s Roman Catholic diocese may fin d civil unions violate church teaching, but unions are another story in the eyes o f the church. Angell informed Boss Bill that “The Catholic Church has always been in the forefront o f the labor movement. Two decades ago, Pope John Paul II issued the encyclical Laborem Exercens. This impor tant document reaffirmed and advanced Catholic teaching on the dignity o f work and the rights o f workers. In Catholic social Democrats Doug Racine and Peter teaching, work is for the person, not the per son for work. Respecting the rights o f work Shumlin screamed bloody murder. And, ers to organize if they wish to do so is essen- unlike Jim Douglas and Brian Dubie, they pledged to support the candidate fiufrto create a workplace that is mutually beneficial to the patients that come to your who got the most votes in November. Progressive Anthony Pollina agreed with institution for care. ” them... at first: When the Bingo Bishop gets away from preaching the Catholic War on Sex, he starts making real sense, eh? Kenny the Catholic As everybody knows, Mr. Pollina has publicly taken the pledge that the candidate and Bemie the Socialist are readingfrom with the most votes should win the job. But the same Bible on this one. on Monday afternoon, Pollina told Seven Interesting. Days that it would be perfectly kosherfor In the end, the Mary Fanny nurses the candidate who comes in second to win the prize — if, and only if, that candidate voted 2-1 in favor of forming a union. is Anthony Pollina. Pollina said that if Shumlin finished first and he finished sec ond, the GOP would likely vote for him. OCTOBER Surprise, surprise! As Vermonters started waking up to the "I think, ”said Mr. Pollina, “that i f there fact that Election Day was rapidly approaching, the hot issue was about how are a majority o f Republicans in the legisla ture, and for them it comes down to a choice the winners would be chosen — by the

f i

1 '

By year's end, Dr. Dean would be the recognized outsidethe-beltw ay dark horse for th e 2004 Democratic nom ination. again and again, about the top vote-getter winning? Surely, we asked, i f you came in second, you’d stick to your principles and turn down the job even i f the legislature miraculously picked you, right? Wrong. Tony the Phony said he’d have no problem with it. “I don’t think many people would decline the call to serve,”said Pollina with a giggle and a smile. fesus, Mary and Joseph. In recognition o f such avarice and exqui site double-talk, Tony the Prog also wins the Inside Track “Hypocrite o f the Week Award. ” Congratulations, Anthony! You’re not going to win the lieutenant governor’s race, but you’ll always have this small prize to look back on and cherish. As it would turn out, Pollina finished third with 25 percent. It wasn’t near enough to win, but more than enough to take down Democrat Peter Shumlin and vault Dubie into the winner’s circle with just 41 percent. Nice work, Tony! NOVEMBER

Two days before the election, The Burlington Free Press announced on the front page that the latest Freeps poll showed Doug Racine winning by 10 percent! Unfortunately for Doug the Quiet Man, the Freeps has a poor record for accuracy. Racine ended up losing by 3 percent. And the local Gannett daily never apologized to readers for its shoddy political poll. The Quiet Man has since faded away. Yours truly hasn’t seen him since Election Day. Racine left with a lot of character and class showing. He stuck to his prom ise and conceded to Jim Douglas, even though Democrat gains in the legislature indicated he had a shot of doing what Douglas had been prepared to do — steal the election in a legislative secret vote.

tors of both papers. One firing made sense, the other did not. Times Argus editor Scott Fletcher was sacked for fabricating the news. Specifically, he wrote a story about a teenage hooker and heroin junkie who was selling her wares in downtown Montpelier. Following reader complaints, Mitchell had it checked out and could not find evidence that Fletcher’s little hooker existed. Bye, bye, Scott! Mitchell also sacked Rutlahd Herald editor Steve Baumann. Unlike Fletcher, Baumann was highly regarded by the troops under him. We’re still waiting for an explanation. Also in November, the Vermont Supreme Court ruled that Gov. Dean had to release all the information on his daily schedule that pertained to his run for the White House. Unfortunately, the Supremes saw fit to allow the Guv to keep everything else secret. That’s good news for the next governor. DECEMBER

Congressman Bernie Sanders convened a town meeting on the Fletcher Allen mess, calling for a restructuring of the board of trustees. The powers that be have ignored him so far. But the vacuum of political leadership on the Mary Fanny scandal is one Sanders has clearly filled. Gov. Howard Dean has kept his nose out of it. Gov-to-be Jim Douglas has so far indicated he will do likewise. Not Bernie. Stay tuned. And remember, next week, Seven Days shuts down for a vacation. The next edi tion will hit the streets on January 8. Happy New Year! (7)

Email Peter at InsideTrackVT@aol.com

22A I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003

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STORY SUSAN GREEN

IMAGE MATTHEW THORSEN

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he quarter in Tom Verner s right hand seems to disappear into the hard wooden surface of a table. Fishing the missing coin from his vest pocket, the 56-year-old Lincoln resident smiles with satisfaction. The Burlington College professor of transpersonal psychology is demonstrating a trick from his other passion in life: magic. Abracadabra brings him joy. It also delights audiences at First Night Burlington and around the world. Verner s got a photograph of himself, taken last year at a refugee camp in Macedonia, entertaining an amazed-looking little Gypsy girl whose family had been driven out of Kosovo. His experience in the embattled Balkans recently persuaded him to launch Magicians-Without-Borders, a nonprofit organization designed to foster such cul tural adventures in far-flung and often troubled lands. “I’m a great believer in cit izen diplomacy,” Verner says. “And I have a sense that magic may awaken peoples hopes and dreams... Magic is a universal language.” A picture of Harry Houdini in chains is pasted on a folder of snapshots from Verner’s Eastern European journey. Below this century-old image of the legendary prestidigitator and escape artist are words the Vermonter tries to live by: “There is a way out.” “Maybe magic can inspire people to

get out of impossible situations,” Verner explains, “people who feel stuck.” To that end, he envisions at least four more tours in his future. Three of them, to Iran, Haiti and Bangladesh, are still up in the air. One that’s certain is a February trek to Ethiopia, where Verner — who is on a one-year leave of absence from the college — plans to spend a month at camps full of Somali and Sudanese refugees. The United Nations will provide local transportation, room and board for the African sojourn. Verner is not a man who travels light. “I’ll have my silks, Chinese linking rings, production boxes and bags, multiplying and vanishing bottles, books that burst ,nto flames,” he says, adding that those are more or less the same props he’s been bringing to his First Night gig for the last 10 years. “I hire Tom every year, if I can,” reports Artistic Director Jimmy Swift. “People love magic. Plus, he seems like a good soul, out there in the world doing things. He has causes up his sleeve.”

Before the hocus-pocus, Verner had

faith. Raised in an Irish-Catholic coal mining town near Pittsburgh, he served as an altar boy. At the ripe old age of 13, he left home to join a monastery in upstate New York.

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Although he originally intended to make the church a vocation, seven years later Verner returned home after an epiphany: One day in 1966, he simply realized variety was the spice of life, and a monastic environment — which had included a year of silence — was no place to try new things. “I like to think I left the 13th century and entered the world of sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll,” he says. Sounds like college. Verner majored in philosophy and literature at Duquesne University while serving as assistant man ager of a local soup kitchen run by the progressive Catholic Worker movement.

Union, Central America, Europe and the Middle East. Last year’s KosovoMacedonia interlude was prompted by the annual November pilgrimage he makes to participate in a retreat at Auschwitz, the former Nazi death camp in Poland. “The Holocaust is of special interest to me,” he acknowledges. In advance of that visit, he was making plans to include a side trip to Sarajevo when he heard a news report on the radio about refugee camps in the region. Verner contacted a Macedonian woman who helped him set up a performance sched ule. In just one week, he put on 15 shows

“Maybe magic can inspire people to get out of impossible situations, people who feel stuck.” — TOM V E R N E R AJier graduation in 1968, he joined the r&ace Corps and spent two years teaching English in Iran. Back in the United States, he took an alcohol and drug counseling job in Hartford, Connecticut. Over the next five years, Verner earned a masters degree in literature and began work on a Ph.D in psychology through the San Francisco Institutes non-residential program. He also met Milton, an addict-client who taught him to make a coin disappear and other sleight-of-hand routines. In the mid-1970s Verner lived in a communal house on an island in British Columbia. With gimmicks purchased from a mail-order magic catalogue, he and his friends started the Pickles Road Troupe — named for their street address. “We played craft fairs and oyster festivals,” he recalls. “But that really pushed me from being someone who just does tricks to a bona fide magician.” He was on the East Coast again in 1977, doing an internship at a Hartford psychiatric hospital in conjunction with his doctorate. “That’s when Milton and I opened The Magic Shop,” Verner says. “I worked there half-time, while also writing my dissertation on dreams.” At a conference on transpersonal psy chology — a field Verner says adds a spiri tual dimension to the realm of body, mind and heart — he learned about an available position in the Green Mountain State. It was 1979 when he began teaching and heading the transpersonal psychology department at the Vermont Institute for Community Involvement, which soon became Burlington College. The peripatetic professor put down roots. “I bought land in Lincoln and built a house,” Verner says. “Right away, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere else.”

Except all over the planet, of course.

Verner has performed magic in the Soviet

in orphanages and centers for widowed mothers, as well as at the camps. Even halfway across the globe, the almost-monk can’t seem to duck religious issues. “A Bedouin man from Jordan once approached me and said, ‘Some people think you’re an agent of Satan,’” Verner remembers. “Islamic people try to keep their minds always on God and believe it’s the devil who distracts you.” But many other spectators in Third World countries suspect Verner might have more in common with Rockefeller than Beelzebub. “After one show in a little town, an old lady handed me a gold coin,” he says. “It was clear she wanted me to do something with it. I happened to have a chunk of fool’s gold in my pocket, so I made the ‘magic’ switch. She was momentarily impressed but seemed to be wondering, ‘What can I do with a chunk?’ So, I turned that into a coin with a higher denomination.” Presto-chango! The momentum was building, however. “A man who was watching us asked me to make visas to get him to America,” Verner notes. “I told him that was a technique beyond my powers, but I’d try to work on learning it.” Instead, Verner is putting his energy into Magicians-Without-Borders, which is still merely a mechanism to accept dona tions for the trips abroad. Encouraging other magician members is at least a year off. At the moment Verner’s sole compatri ot is his significant other, Janet Fredericks, a painter now studying mime and clown ing so she can warm up the African crowds while he gets ready to do magic. Performing in foreign lands only deepens Verner’s own fascination with the art of illusion, an enchantment that began 30 years ago, just as the coin vanished from Milton’s hands. “Something inside of me was startled,” Verner says. “I believe in magic and want others to share that feeling.” ®

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ell, it’s got to be the biggest news of the year. Nothing else can compete. In early December, scientists announced that they’d mapped the genetic code of the mouse, and guess what? Mice are just like us! “The mapping process revealed that about 80 percent of the mouse’s genes correspond directly to simi larly functioning genes in humans,” according to a story from Reuters Health. “The other 20 percent are in ‘families’ that correspond to human sequences, though less directly.” Hmm. How much less directly? “In all, about 5 percent of total genetic material in humans and mice is identical, preserved from when the two species split from a common ancestor some 75 million years ago. Hmm, encore. Looking back on the events of 2002, I don’t see any split between mice and men at all. But with “mouse models for hundreds of human

Retailers were predicting “a disappointing holiday season.” Midway through, the unemployment rate hit 6 percent, con sumer confidence was down, Treasury Secretary Paul O ’Neill got the boot, Iraq came out spitting, war came closer — and Newsweek ran a cover story about “The New Virginity” among American teens, more and more of whom, apparently, are just saying no to illicit, disgusting, unmar ried sex. How’s that for relevance? A week later, it was “The Real Condi Rice.” Newsweek says: “The Most Powerful Woman in Washington is Black, Brainy and Bush’s Secret Weapon.” She’s black, all right, but there’s nothing “secret” about either her or her evil thinking. How thrilling to discover in Bush at War; journalist Bob Woodward’s best-sell ing blow-job of a book, that Ms. Rice plays the piano, takes walks around Washington and never strays far from salad on the menu! Sort of like Whitney

The various urgencies intermingling here —terror, war, a “stagnant” economy and Brave New World science —have rendered planet Earth as dangerously unhinged as it’s been in many decades. diseases,” scientists can now “compare the human DNA code directly to that of a related mammal, a potential boon to the continuing hunt for undiscovered diseasecausing genes in humans.” “Undiscovered disease-causing genes in humans,” of course, means designer breeding. Or call it what you want. Its goal is the perfection of the race. I wish I could say “of the species,” but I think race is more like it. All manner of people around the world live grotesquely squalid, impoverished, starved, stunted and dis ease-ridden lives — diseases for which the cures are known, and cheap. Many of them will not be receiving the benefits of stem-cell technology if they lose an arm or a liver, however. The women of India won’t be selling their eggs to infertile Ivy Leaguers for $50,000. You won’t either, probably. The eco nomic news isn’t exactly bright. This col umn is written with a two-week lead, so I don’t know how the cliffhanging drama of Christmas sales actually turned out.

Houston, who remarked while promoting her new album, “I’ve always been a thin girl. I am not going to be fat, ever. Let’s get that straight. Whitney is not going to be fat, ever. OK?”

After the forced resignation of

Secretary O ’Neill, in the Bushmen’s equiv alent of the Night of Long Knives, O ’Neill’s spokeswoman assured the press, “There are lots of other important things to do in life. Back in December of 2000,

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Saddam will be much, much higher than it looks, inasmuch as a “war on terror” is a war that can’t be won. There will be no victory. It won’t be possible to eliminate “weapons of mass destruction” wherever they exist, under whichever dictator, any more than we can prevent “human cloning” and experimen tation with life forms. As I write this, North Korea has announced that it will resume its nuclear weapons program — in 1997, two million North Koreans, mostly women and children, died of starvation — and Iran apparently also has a breeder, or whatever they call it, for assem bling nukes. This is not to men tion India, Pakistan, Russia, China, Israel and, of course, us. The various urgencies inter-

he was planning to retire and devote himself to improving health care and education in Pittsburgh. I’m sure he will return to those important proj ects.” I’m sure he will — just as soon as he recovers his $100 mil lion in Alcoa stock, which his Cabinet position had obliged him to give up. Consumer spending accounts for two-thirds of U.S. economic activity, and these are the people the govern ment wants to drive into bank ruptcy. The despicable bankrupt cy “reform” bill in last year’s Congress died the ignoble death it deserved — thanks for noth ing, Senator Leahy — when it got pinned to a rider exempting anti-abortion protesters from the new rules. But if the Boston

Mouse Chromosomes 4.

Archdiocese can cut its losses, why not Operation Freedom? Go on, ask Pat. Banished to the boardroom with Paul O ’Neill was Bush’s economic adviser, Lawrence Lindsey, who “raised hackles,” according to The New York Times, “when he publicly pre dicted that costs of a war in Iraq could reach $200 billion — sig nificantly higher than other esti mates.” Indeed, the cost of dumping

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mingling here — terror, war, a “stagnant” economy and Brave New World science — have ren dered planet Earth as dangerous ly unhinged as it’s been in many decades. The Washington Post reports that “loud construction blasts at Vice President Dick Cheney’s official residence” are upsetting his neighbors: “The blasts, which last anywhere from three to five seconds apiece, have » 26A

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been going off two to three times a day, from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m., in recent weeks. No one knows what is going on, and officials at the Naval Observatory, where Cheney lives, say their lips are sealed because of security con cerns. The leading theory: an underground bunker is being built for the Cheney clan.” And you thought “gated communi ties” were a bad idea! At Guantanamo Bay Naval Base in Cuba, where an uncer tain number of Taliban foot sol diers are being held with an equally uncertain number of “enemy combatants,” the U.S. Army has been offering rewards for “cooperative behavior,” says the Associated Press: “Benefits include the opportunity to sleep, eat and pray together in a new medium-security detention wing under construction.” Army Maj. Gen. Geoffrey Miller, the “task force commander” at Guantan amo Bay, thinks that “having more incentives will make our interrogation much more suc cessful. Medium-security is a recognition of cooperation and adherence to the rules. It gives them hope. Hope is of enormous importance.” I’ll say. What we should do is give the prisoners shopping priv ileges at the mall. Get them to understand that money spent is money made somewhere else. I’m sure Ms. Rice would agree. There’s plenty of hope in Afghanistan, now ruled by a scrappy coalition of drug deal ers and “warlords.” Opium pro duction was up this year by some thousands of percentage points. One thing about the Taliban, they didn’t want you getting high. But since “war lords” aren’t “terrorists,” I sup pose we want to stay on their good side. And The Los Angeles Times reports that the govern ment’s disastrous “war on drugs,” a failure wherever it’s been fought, will be prosecuted in the future “only as it relates to the war on terrorism.” Did you know that? It’s an easy way to round up lots of undesirables. As Dr. Henry Kissinger remarked so aptly a

Fisichella, a professor of politi cal science at the University of Rome. “And at the same time, the historiographical debate on the fascist period has grown more serene, more balanced.” Dr. Fisichella is also a senator

with these “ratings” falling lower and lower the closer you get to the Middle East. “Do you reckon American policy towards Saddam is driven by getting its hands on Baghdad’s oil?” the pollsters

And I don’t need to tell you it went downhill from there, what with the butlers and the rape. We did discover, at long last, that Prince Charles has a retainer who actually squeezes the tooth paste for him onto his brush. We

Mark Klaas, father of slain preteen Polly Klaas, remarked in admiration, ‘Winona Ryder may be a double-felon, but she’s a double-felon with a heart.” found dead at his former house in Tuscany. An American woman recently bought the place and was “carrying out ren ovations,” according to Reuters, when she knocked down a wall and found a skeleton, two packed suitcases, a rusted rifle and a suicide note: “Police said it appeared Cianelli had packed his suitcases, written the note, built a wall up around himself

in the Italian parliament, repre senting the National Alliance, a once overtly fascist party and about as serene as Jean-Marie Le Pen’s Front National in France or Jorg Haider’s Freedom Party in Austria. “It was clearly an authoritarian government but not a totalitarian one,” Fisichella remarks about Mussolini’s regime. “Fascism committed serious errors that led to the tragedy we all know. But it also passed a great deal of social

But if the Boston Archdiocese can cut its losses, why not Operation Freedom? few decades back, “The illegal we do immediately. The uncon stitutional takes a little longer.” Anyhow, it’s just semantics. In Italy, where it all began with Mussolini in 1922, the extreme right has been redefining the word “fascism” to fit the times. “The right has given up fascism as a model,” says Domenico

bunch got bunched when “fas cists” deported Italian Jews to “Nazi” death camps. Sheesh! Also in Italy, Nemo Cianelli, a man who told his family in 1958 that he was leaving on a trip to the United States, was

and economic legislation that was quite valid, that was innovative for its time and even copied in part by the New Deal in ending the Depression. The gospel of left-wing historiography failed to make these distinctions and sim ply bunched fascism with Nazism.” Here’s a hint, Domenico: The

asked. Forty-four percent of Britons said that it was, 54 per cent of Germans, and 75 percent of the French. Don’t ask about Turkey, still barred from the European Union. Even in Canada, where an adviser to Prime Minister Chretien was fired this year for calling Bush “a moron,” 73 percent of respon dents think that the United States “doesn’t consider others” in fomenting its now ghastly global policies. But none of the major news organizations in this country, while acknowledging that our ratings have declined precipitously “just in the last two years,” can apparently do the math and put blame where it belongs. There’s a reason for this. The Los Angeles Times reports that American journalists are “losing touch with the man on the street.” No wonder, since most journalists in the U.S. are white, college-educated males in their thirties and forties, and most men on the street are Latino and black. It’s the dream of every reporter to cover a war — don’t deny it — and what’s good for reporters is good for news. For one thing, war takes care of the ratings problem. Who won’t be watching when Bush’s creatures work their will on the globe? “Open societies could grow closed,” London’s Guardian meekly warns. “They could demand obeisance with men aces.” And they will. They already have. Speaking of England, royalty wasn’t looking too hot this year, at least the only royals Americans care about: the Windsors. It was the Queen’s Golden Jubilee, an event that her ancestress, Queen Victoria, celebrated in 1887 with a banquet for 50 foreign kings and princes. Drawn to West minster Abbey by six cream-col ored horses, Victoria modestly and then shot himself. He said wore a bonnet instead of a he had invented the tale of crown, but the crowds in going to America to avoid upset London, said Mark Twain, ting his family.” “stretched to the limit of sight in both directions.” How times have changed! No more. After the deaths of A worldwide poll conducted by her sister and mother, Elizabeth the Pew Research Center found II managed to throw a couple of that “favorable ratings” 'for the gratifying pop concerts in the U.S. are down across the board, garden of Buckingham Palace.

could do the same for our own King George if he’d only get out of Dodge. Somewhere in her busy sea son, the Queen also found time to make Elizabeth Taylor a Dame of the British Common wealth — although “broad” would be a better word, since that’s Dame Elizabeth’s favorite term for ladies everywhere. Years ago, when Richard Burton pre sented her with what’s now called the 69.42-carat gem Taylor-Burton Diamond, Princess Margaret told Taylor over dinner that it looked “very vulgar.” “Would you like to try it on?” Taylor asked sweetly. “Oh, yes, please!” said Her Royal Highness, practically grab bing the thing from Taylor’s neck. (Margaret’s grandmother, Queen Mary, was a notorious kleptomaniac, by the way.) “There now,” said Taylor, as Margaret put the pendant around her own throat. “It’s not so vulgar, is it?” Dame Elizabeth has just pub lished a book about her jewelry, and I urge you all to buy it. She can do anything she wants to, as far as I’m concerned, if only for the good work she’s done for people with HIV — about 42 million worldwide, with more on the way. In July, Scott Evertz, an openly gay Republican and Dubya’s “AIDS czar,” resigned \ under pressure for “advocating the use of condoms and support ing contentious AIDS prevention workshops.” Evertz was “the first openly gay official appointed by a Republican president,” but not the first or last Republican to be caught with his hands where they don’t belong. By decree, gays are no longer welcome in the Catholic priesthood — women already weren’t welcome — though where they’re going to find their servants of God I have no idea.

On Capitol Hill, breaking

a record for longevity, South Carolina’s Senator Strom Thurmond celebrated his 100th birthday while still in office. Thurmond was “born before air-

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planes,” as the press pointed out, and “was considered too old to fight” in World War II. In 1948, he ran for president as a segrega tionist, a regrettable fact of histo ry that’s been giving Thurmond’s cohort in piggishness, Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, a run for his money. “When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him,” Lott declared. “Were proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over all these years, either.” Paging Ms. Rice! By the time you read this, Lott, like Boston’s Cardinal Law, may have resigned his post, but I wouldn’t bet the rent. “A poor choice of words conveyed to some that I embraced the dis carded policies of the past,” said Lott, in the first of many ridicu lous statements. “Nothing could be further from the truth.” It’s doubtful that Thurmond even took note of the controversy: “The former segregationist has taken up residence in a Wash ington hospital and is virtually carried around the Senate by aides, who also do much of his talking for him. But female interns who have worked in the Capitol building recently report ed that the Senate’s most notori ous womanizer still has sufficient energy to drawl a complimentary remark as they walk by.” Did they say drawl or drool? Some things get lost in the telling. In October, they had to prop up Charlton Heston, strick en by Alzheimer’s, when he deliv ered his last demented speech to the National Rifle Association. Now the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, covering a great swath of the West, has ruled that the Second Amendment doesn’t, in fact, give Americans the right to bear arms. These are the same judges who ruled in June that the Pledge of Allegiance was uncon stitutional, so you can imagine how long this ruling will stand up on review. And about those damned forensic science” shows on tele vision: The Sniper case should have taught us that “CSI,” in Las Vegas or Miami, is feeding us a load of bull about how easy it is to track criminals. “Oh, look, I found this piece of yellow carpet fiber! Only 38,000 identical car pets were manufactured in the United States last year, and guess what? Only three of them were sold here!” “Great! Take it down the hall to the geek with the bad hair and see if he can narrow it down fur ther!” Right. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently issued its revised guide lines for increasing security at ibs that handle smallpox, nthrax and other “pathogens.” imong them was the recommenlation to “limit access to the athogens and keep everything ecurely locked up.” I knew you’d be impressed.

My favorite criminal of 2002 will always be Bad Mom — Irish Traveler Madelyne Toogood, who was arrested in Michigan recently on her third offense of the year, this time for giving “false infor mation on a license application.” For a woman who was shown on national television beating her daughter in a car, and who’s cur rently facing charges in two other states, she seems to slip out unnoticed quite a lot. I say she deserves a prize just for pluck. And just as the Sniper was once diagnosed as an intelligent white man, “highly organized,” all kinds of criminals don’t con-

“I’d just like to say I’m sailing with the rock and I’ll be back,” Ms. Wuornos remarked in her last words, “like Independence Day with Jesus, June 6, like the movie, on the big mother ship and all. I’ll be back, I’ll be back.” In other religious news, George Bush’s own Methodist Church has condemned his plans for war. The Miss World contest ants fled Nigeria when riots broke out over beauty pageants and what Mohammed might have thought about them. “I think it’s the right move coming back to London,” said Miss England, “because 50 percent of Nigerians are Muslim and don’t want us out there, so I think we should respect that.” Miss Scotland disagreed: “Riots are continual in Nigeria and people are always dying there.” No wonder Miss Turkey won. A crackdown on homosex uals in Egypt, where the sin was invented, also got justified by ref erence to Allah (and if I could just tell you about my trips up the Nile — hoo, boy!). Golf legend Sam Snead, actors Rod Steiger, Richard Harris and James Coburn, stuntman Merlin Santana, singer Rosemary Clooney, activist Philip Berrigan, designer Bill Blass, Chandra Levy, Rumpole of the Bailey, Gwyneth Paltrow’s father and American democracy were all found dead this year. The judge who sentenced Prince Winona Ryder to three years’ probation for shoplifting told Charles has her sternly, “I have a 16-year-old son named Ryan who asked, a retainer ‘Why would Winona Ryder steal from Saks Fifth Avenue when who actually she has enough money to buy anything?”’ Ryan’s got a lot to squeezes learn. Ryder had no comment, but Mark Klaas, father of slain the tooth pre-teen Polly Klaas, remarked in admiration, “Winona Ryder may be a double-felon, but she’s paste for a double-felon with a heart.” Finally, Woody Harrelson got him onto his squealed on by “three British babes who claim to have bedded brush. We him in an all-night orgy” after marijuana with him in a could do the smoking London hotel, according to The New York Post. “His staying power same for was breathtaking,” said one. “There wasn’t any foreplay,” said our own another. “We just lay down on the carpet and did it. He was quite King George well-endowed and went on and on.” Harrelson’s rep replied, “He’s if he’d only happily married with a couple of kids. These tabloids ride that fine get out of line of semi-truth all the time.” I’m trying to think what fine line of semi-truth there might be Dodge. in the orgy these ladies are form to your stereotyped image describing. Where would that of them. Aileen Wuornos, semi-truth lie? Somewhere described as “America’s most between “staying power” and notorious female serial killer,” “breathtaking”? Between “wellwas executed this year in Florida, endowed” and “marijuana”? I having said that “she looked for give up. As gossip maven Liz ward to meeting God so that she Smith remarked sadly in July, could punish those who had mis “It’s certainly no fun for us when treated her.” Keeping her alive, stars won’t talk, but what are we, she agreed, would be a waste of anyway, other than mosquitoes?” money. Mice, Liz. We’re mice. ©

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w it h sp ecia l g u est J effrey F ou cau lt Saturday, January 4, 2003 7:00 p.m. Veteran bluesman and master of Americana music, in concert takes you on a thoughtful, bittersweet, sometimes funny and always engaging journey. “Smither delivers one of the most riveting shows you’re ever likely to see”- RollingStone “You don’t so much listen to Chris Smither’s brand of acoustic blues, as absorb it.”

-Billboard

Presented by

MUSIC SERIES

The United Methodist Church Rte. 7 & Seminary S t • Middlebury wwwafterdarkmusicseriesxom

Tickets: $16 Advance $18 Door

Tickets available at: Middlebury Inn, Main Street Stationery or by calling 802-388-0216 for more information.

AFTER DARK

28A

I december 26, 2002-januray 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

Kahn-Do Attitude

At hom e with UVM’s new first spouse

ts hard not to like a woman who’s willing to greet you at the door in a flannel nightie. Especially if she’s a college president’s wife. The cold, snowy morning I arrive to visit Rachel Kahn-Fogel — my tracks are STORY the first up the driveway — there’s a PAMELA little problem. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” POLSTON Kahn-Fogel exclaims solicitously. “Didn’t anyone get in touch with IMAGE you?” JORDAN Turns out she’s had a fall two SILVERMAN nights earlier, resulting in a concus sion, and she’s too dizzy for an inter view. But her warmth is firmly intact, as if living 26 years in Baton Rouge has made her more resilient in the face of a New England winter — and that of an unexpected guest. In any event the chill is melting, along with the snow on my boots, right here at the back door of Englesby House. She’s the one with a concussion, but Kahn-Fogel is worried about me, about wasting my time. She urges me to call Dan’s secretary for another appointment — soon. “Dan” is Daniel Mark Fogel, the v<: Xjwi-l&tXZii former provost of Louisiana State University who became president of the University of Vermont in July. He’s the guy whose early misstep in Burlington centered around this very house at the corner of College and South Williams, the official residence of UVM “first families” since the late ’50s. He got off to a rocky start when the media trumpeted the Fogels’ planned move out of Englesby because of student noise in the ’hood — a sensitive issue in this college town. By all accounts he’s compensat ed for that remark since, impressing everyone from neighbors to law makers. But it was actually Rachel who insisted on a different house, and not because of students. “I made Dan promise that in order to move here,” she reveals candidly on my second visit a couple weeks later. She’s feeling more herself today. “We lived on a small lake in Baton Rouge. I didn’t want to leave that for a house with no privacy.” Englesby is used for some 120 events a year — generally co-hosted by the president and spouse. It is not, in fact, a place where you can pad around in your nightgown very often, or very long. “I hosted women faculty here the other day at 3, and the cater ers had to come in the morning,” Kahn-Fogel notes. The day before my visit she entertained 75 state legisla tors and the governor-elect. Englesby also is no place for an artist — that is, an artist’s studio. Kahn-Fogel has been making art since she was a child in Ithaca, working alongside her mother, a photographer and printmaker; she’s focused on watercolors since college. When she had her own children, Kahn-Fogel recalls, “I stood at the kitchen counter - and painted while the kids played

around my ankles. I just got into the habit of painting every day.” In a couple of months the Fogels will move into a brand-new home in Malletts Bay. Two attempts to buy existing houses fell through. “Dan convinced me to build when we found that lot,” Kahn-Fogel says. “It’s a huge job, though now I’m thrilled. I have to choose everything, but I’m getting what I want.” What she wants doesn’t sound all that fancy — Kahn-Fogel’s secondfloor studio will be small — but it does look out to the water, facing north. And though it was surely unin tentional, that’s a symbolic direction for a couple who lived and built careers in the South for nearly three decades. “It’s gonna be heaven,” she assures me with a smile.

While Kahn-Fogel takes a few

minutes with the photographer, I use the time to snoop around the first floor of Englesby. The antique-filled house is lovely — especially now, aro matic with the Christmas tree and boughs of greenery everywhere — but it’s posed and impersonal, like a really

work is still stored in the attic. “I can’t find anything,” she says apologetical ly. But what she has found is a large, black, zippered portfolio crammed with a couple dozen highly unusual watercolors. They’re already spilled out over the table and the floor. “I work in year-long series,” she

Juicer, Pliers,” the vegetable looms over the tools. This artist’s titles read like inventories — other examples include “Fire Extinguisher, Leeks, Dust Pan” and “Ice Cream Scoop, Key, Pinwheel.” “I draw about 30 pen-and-ink drawings, and then go back; it takes

I can easily envision her hosting a zillion receptions here, gracious as can be. But I imagine her happier with paintbrush in hand, or instructing little kids with their own. nice hotel. None o f this belongs to the Fogels, I’m thinking. As if in response, she tells the photographer, “We have much more modern stuff.” Kahn-Fogel laughs easily, a deep, throaty, uninhibited laugh. She’s 55, on the tall side, and full-figured; a handsome woman with shoulderlength blond hair. Today she’s wearing a dark-green pant suit, very profes sional, but her manner is friendly and informal. I can easily envision her hosting a zillion receptions here, gra cious as can be. But I imagine her happier with paintbrush in hand. Kahn-Fogel has already helped out at a Fleming Museum family day, and she plans to volunteer-teach in the newly renovated Firehouse Center for the Arts downtown. She’s been court ed for a position on the board of Burlington City Arts. In the other room I hear her addressing her beloved beagle, Urquart — named for a Scottish clan on her mother’s side. “You might get in the paper, wouldn’t that be fun?” she tells the dog. Urquart is noncom mittal. After the photo shoot, Kahn-Fogel settles at the dining room table to show me her paintings. Most of her

explains. “These are from my last two years in Baton Rouge. The year before that I was doing landscapes with my typical objects.” She’s referring to the vegetables, tools and other items that seem sus pended over abstract or decorative backdrops. These are not what you’d call classic still-lifes. “I get obsessed with certain objects — clothes hang ers, safety pins, household tools or machinery,” Kahn-Fogel says animat edly. “Often things... I don’t even know how they work, I just like their shapes.” But it’s the color that first attracts me; the vivid paintings seem almost mutinous in the sedately toned dining room. Kahn-Fogel has a sure hand with the sometimes intractable medi um of watercolor, and her works are uniformly saturated. The paper is cov ered right up to the borders, as if she can’t bear to let any white space go untouched. The unorthodox size of the objects grabs my attention next. “I tend to do like in Pop Art — household objects in strange combinations,” Kahn-Fogel says. “I like to play with proportion, relative size.” Indeed, in one painting, “Carrots,

about a year to paint them,” KahnFogel continues. Her surreal, subtly humorous work reminds me of an Eastern European artist whose name I can’t quite recall, but she says Claes Oldenburg was her earliest and biggest influence. “The humor, almost making something alive out of objects, the energy and excitement, and of course the size,” she says, tick ing off the reasons. She recently saw the artist’s soft-sculpture violin hang ing on a wall in New York. “The main thing Dan and I like to do when we travel is go to museums,” Kahn-Fogel says. “It just inspires me. I once took a whole year’s worth of notes at a Jasper Johns show at MOMA.” Unlike her favored artists, KahnFogel’s career is “not traditionally doc umented.” She doesn’t maintain a resume, and hasn’t kept track of her one-woman shows in Baton Rouge except to save the announcements. “I haven’t tried to show in New York or anything,” she says modestly. Except for an exhibition she once shared with her mother, Mary Simmonds Kahn, back in Ithaca. Though she’s spent half her life in the swampy heat of Louisiana, Kahn-

' v vidjii& reb ; A S S .

SEVENDAYS 1 december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 1 feature 29A

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Fogel is a northern girl; Vermont’s climate feels more like home. She grew up in Ithaca, where she met her future hus band in seventh grade. She and Fogel dated as high school sen iors and college freshmen, then spent several years apart. Both were the offspring of Cornell University faculty. Rachel’s father, Alfred Kahn, was an economics professor before going into public service — with the New York State Public Service Commission, then as the “inflation czar” for President Carter. At age 85, he’s an emeritus prof and still a con sultant, Kahn-Fogel says proudly. The smile disappears when she tells me her mother now has Alzheimer’s. Rachel tried out college first at Bennington, taking French and art history classes, but floun dered because “I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I needed more guidance.” She returned to Co Arellramd decfdedi toWiajor i ri English. “I thought I wanted to be a writer,” she says, “but I was miserable at it.” B.A. in hand, Rachel took off for Columbia University, where she earned a master’s in elementary education. She stayed in New York City three more years, teaching at a private school. By this time she and Fogel had reunited; they married in 1973. She moved again to Ithaca, where “I taught three more years at a public school and helped support Dan in grad uate school.” Kahn-Fogel decided to stay home when Nicholas was born in 1976 in Baton Rouge, where Dan had started his academic career. Their second child, Emily, died in infancy. Rosemary came third. “I was lucky Dan was willing to sup port me,” she says of those years when she painted with small children underfoot. Now, Nicholas is a law stu dent at Stanford; Rosemary a teacher and writer in Baton Rouge. And Kahn-Fogel finds herself on yet another campus. Though she admits it was wrenching to leave the friends and familiarity of Baton Rouge, her reminiscence is only slightly j wistful. She seems determined to look forward, not back. And UVM is keeping her busy. “I have been grateful for being part of these activities — I just meet so many interesting people,” ' Kahn-Fogel exclaims. “I’m grate ful I haven’t been lonely and abandoned. “But it’s tough finding time to paint.” ®

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I music 31A

C LU B DATES

:: V E N U E S 4 1 1 :: S O U N D B I T E S

:: P O P T E N

:: R E V I E W T H I S

< clu b d ates >

THU 26

AA= ALL AGES N O NO COVER

W&M,

:: b u rlin g to n a r e a

STEVEN CALLAHAN TRIO

(jazz), Radio

THE ANDRIC SEVERANCE JAZZ ENSEM BLE, 9 p.m. NC. QUEEN CITY ROCK (DJ; '80s with a Bean, 8 p.m. NC, followed by

flair), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. NC.

BIG JOE BURRELL

(jazz-blues), Halvorson's, 8 p.m. $5.

ROBERT RESNIK

(music for grown-up

children), Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC. LIVE ACOUSTIC SERIES, Ri R§ Irish Pub, 8 p.m. NC.

JAMES HARVEY & GARUDA

(jazz), Red

Square, 10 p.m. NC.

HAPPY TOWN

(funk/rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

LADIES NIGHT

(DJ Robbie J.)

Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $5/NC. 18+ before 11 p.m.

REGGAE NIGHT

(DJ), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m.

NC.

KARAOKE,

Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC.

&BONNIE DRAKE,

KARAOKE W/MATT

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/FRANK,

Franny 0's, 9 p.m.

:: c h a m p la in va lle y OPEN JAM W/ELIZA'S MISERY,

City

Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE,

Otter Creek Tavern, 9 p.m.

OPEN JAM (blues/funk/rock), Ashley's, 9 p.m. NC.

:: ce n tra l OPEN MIKE,

Montpelier Community

Coffee House, Rhapsody Main Street, 7

p.m. Donations.

:: n o rth e rn THE PARTY BAND

(dance), Matterhorn,

9 p.m. $3-5.

:: s o u th e rn THE COLLECTIVES

(rock), Pickle Barrel,

10 p.m. $8.

:: b u rlin g to n a r e a JIM DANIELS

&JIM MCGINNISS (old-

time), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

THE MAN'S ROOM (leather

party), 135

Pearl, 8 p.m. $3, followed by BOUND (fetish party, DJ Eliot), 10 p.m. $5.

PHIL HENRY

(rock), Sweetwaters, 9

p.m. NC.

LIVE DJ, Ri Ra Irish Pub, 10 CHROME COWBOYS (vintage

p.m. NC. country),

Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

GREG IZ0R HARMONICA JAM

(blues),

Nectar's, 10 p.m. NC.

STYLE W/DJ EDDIE BOOM (techno/house), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $7.

KARAOKE,

Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC.

F R I.2 7 »

IVY LEAGUE INDIE when Mieka Pauley

was growing up, she hid her musical abilities, working on tunes when the family

was out of the house. Now a college grad, Pauley has finally come clean. From busking on the streets of Harvard Square to crooning at the Telluride Troubadour Competition, the 21-year-old Boston resident is starting to get the attention she deserves. Friday, January 3, the "young Sarah McLaughlin" comes to 135 Pearl.

32B

32A

I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

Ak c ilSSi’ii’J

F R I.2 7 «

31A

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $3. FUSION (hip-hop/reggae/dance; DJs Robbie J. & Toxic), Millennium

(funk-rock), Kincade's,

9 p.m. NC.

Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. TOP HAT DJ (Top 40), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC.

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. MOTION TRIO (jazz). Waiting Room, 6 p.m. NC, followed by DJ A-DOG (lounge/acid jazz), 10:30 p.m. NC.

LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX

n o rth ern GIVEN GROOVE

(rock/urban

DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), St. John's Club, 8 p.m. NC. DISTANT THUNDER (rock), Henry's Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

YO YO NIPPLES

(rock), Bayside Pavilion,

8:30 p.m. $3.

DREAMWEAVER (DJ), G Stop, 9 ERIK KOSKINEN BAND (rock),

p.m. NC.

Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. (groove; Jerry Garcia Band

MELVIN SEALS

keyboardist), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

:: so u th e rn THE COLLECTIVES

(rock), Pickle Barrel,

10 p.m. $8.

STEVE FORBERT, JIM GILMOUR

(singer-

songwriters; two shows), Middle Earth Music Hall, 7 p.m. & 9 p.m. $12.60.

LIVE DJ, A Taste of Dixie, 10 p.m. NC. SETH YACOVONE BAND, ANTIGONE RISING (blues-rock, pop-rock), Higher Ground, 9 p.m. $10/12. 18+

INDECENT EXPOSURE

(rock), Trackside

FREE RADIO BURLINGTON BENEFIT

Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

VICIOUS

KARAOKE W/PETER BOARDMAN, WIZN BAR & GRILL

(live radio show),

Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 p.m. NC, fol lowed by

SUPERSOUNDS DJ

(dance

party/game show), 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE,

Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC.

UC 12 (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. MR. FRENCH (rock), Franny 0's, 9 p.m. NC.

:: C h a m p la in v a lle y TOP HAT DANCE PARTY

KEEPING CLASSICS since

(DJ), City

Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

HARD LUCK (rock),

*• Does rock get better with age? It's been more than three decades

PICTURE THIS

(techno/house, DJ Chia), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $5.

DREAMLAND

(jazz), Sweetwaters, 9 p.m.

NC.

BLACK SEA QUARTET

(klezmer/gypsy), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

NERBAK BROS,

(eclectic rock), Nectar's,

9:30 p.m. NC.

RETRONOME

('70s-'80s DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2.

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $3. CLUB MIXX (hip-hop/house; DJs Irie

(jazz), J. Morgan's,

Trinity Church, Montpelier,

8 p.m. NC.

STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS

(honky-tonk

rockabilly), Charlie 0's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

BEGGAR'S TOMB

(Grateful Dead

covers/rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4.

$3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. DIAZ & RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b

Cl VMM CD A i

F L Y N N 5PA< SU N DAY JANUARY

•h __ .

r/ S P E C IA L G U EST

T IM C A I R A

A V o ic e th a t sp ea k s th e troth a n d ►oothes th e soul Robert Tom * 135 Pearl

(jazz/cabaret; CD

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. SCHMOOZE (hip-hop/acid-jazz, DJ Melo Grant 8. Infinite), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC.

HOLLYWOOD FRANKIE

(rock/urban DJ;

DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3. THE ABBY & BART SHOW (folk-rock),

SEVEN DAYS Surprising

NEW YEAR'S

JOIN US AT THE WAITING ROOM FOR A FIVE COURSE PRICE FIX DINNER. $50 PER PERSON / $80 WITH WINE & CHAMPAGNE PAIRINGS TWO SEATINGS - 6 PM & 9 PM COURSE I Roasted Chestnut Soup w/Truffle Oil Frisee, Mache, Trevisiano w/ Roasted Walnuts, Roquefort & Crimson Pears COURSE 2 White Pepper Crusted Sea Scallops w/ Caramelized Onion Sherry Sauce Seared Foie Gras w/Warm Apple & Fennel Compote w/ Calvedos Gastrique COURSE 3 Mango Sorbet w/ Strawberry Coulis COURSE 4 Crisp Skin on Arctic Char w/ Herb Spaetzle, Baby Veggies, Raspberry Butter Herb Crusted Rack of Lamb w/Sweet Potato Apple Gratine, Haricot Verts, Rosemary Cabernet Demi Glace Wild Mushroom & Asparagus Risotto w/ Fresh Herbs, Shaved Parmigiano Reggiano, Truffle OiL COURSE 5 Chocolate Gateau w/ Raspberry Coulis & Fresh Berries Macadamia Nut Creme Brulee 6 -9 JENNI JOHNSON & FRIENDS 10-2 A-DOG

DJs),

recording session), FlynnSpace, 7 8i 9 p.m. $10.

Greenstreets, 8 p.m. NC.

A SPECIAL SHO AT THE

Frostee), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m.

DENISE WHITTIER

7 p.m. NC.

OPEN MIKE,

(eclectic), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. Donations.

Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC.

:: ce n tra l

20 albums and tours around the world, the Montreal quartet — like former tourmates The Rolling Stones — is still on the road. This Saturday, they return to Higher Ground, with homeboy rockers 8084.

Otter Creek Tavern,

9:30 p.m. NC

April Wine first strapped on their guitars and began filling arenas with blistering rock 'n' roll. After

:: b u rlin g to n a re a

Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

CALL FOR RESERVATIONS 862.3455

THE WAITING ROOM 156 SA IN T PAUL ST.

SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I music 33A

SiTH YA VONE

vennes411

The Fish, Rt. 12, Northfield Falls, 485-7577. Franny O's, 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Geno's Karaoke Club, 127 Porters Point Road, Colchester, 6582160. Good Tim es Cafe, Rt. 116, Hinesburg, 482-4444. G Stop, 38 Main St., St. Albans, 524-7777. Halvorson's Upstreet Cafe, 16 Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Hector's, 1 Lawson Ln., Burlington, 862-6900. Henry's Pub, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington,

LIVE MUSIC, Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. DISTANT THUNDER (rock), Henry's Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

APRIL WINE, 8084

863-6361.

(rock), Higher

Ground, 9 p.m. $16/18. 18+ INDECENT EXPOSURE (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

AKA T-BONE

(rock), Banana Winds Cafe & Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

BAD HORSEY (rock).

Backstage Pub,

9 p.m. NC. K A R A O K E , Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC. UC 12 (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. K A R A O K E W /FR A N K , Franny 0's, 9 p.m. NC.

champlain valley M A D D M IX X (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

:: central GREGORY D O U G LA SS, SYD (singer-song writers), Purple Moon Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

:: northern E R IK K O S K IN E N B A N D (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. LA ST K ID P IC K E D (rock), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5. N A M E D BY S T R A N G E R S (rock), The Brewski, 9 p.m. NC.

:: southern THE C O LLECT IVES (rock), Pickle Barrel, 10 p.m. $8.

SUN.29 :: burlington area

OLD T IM E SE S SIO N S, Radio Bean, 1 p.m. NC, followed by IN J U R IN G E T E R N IT Y (random), 9 p.m. NC. VO ICE (hip-hop/drums 'n ' bass). Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. R E Z I (jam-rock). Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. SU N D A Y N IG H T M A S S (DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2. TEEN N IT E W /DJ R O B B IE J. (hiphop/r&b/reggae), Millennium

SUN . 2 9 » 3 4 A

The Monkey House

30 M a in St., W inooski, 655-4563

The M o n key H ouse is the new est h ot sp o t in the B u rlin gto n area, add in g som e m uch-needed life to dow ntow n W inooski. The m oderately sized, h ig h ceilinged bar area is decorated w ith soft ligh tin g and African m otifs. A fu ll bar serves the inte re stin g m ix o f college students, locals and hipsters th a t have already b egun frequenting the joint. A menu c o n sistin g sole ly o f grilled cheese sandw iches offers a so lu tio n to the m unchies. Bar sto o ls and b oo th s are com fortable, th o u g h the low tables are not, except for the m ost d im in u tive o f patrons. M onday n igh ts feature classic country hits spu n by Brett H ughes. On Tuesdays, Jam es O'Halloran sto ps by for som e flam enco guitar. Sm o k in g is allowed. Never a cover charge.

Angela's Pub, 86 Main St., Middlebury, 388-6936. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Banana W inds Cafe 8t Pub, Town Market Place, Susie

Wilson Rd., Essex Jet., 879-0752. Bayside Pavilion, 13 Georgia Shore Rd., St. Albans, 524-0909. Boony's Grille, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-2711. The Brewski, Mountain Road, Jeffersonville, 644-6366. Cambridge C offeehouse, Dinner's Dunn Restaurant, Jeffersonville, 644-5721. Capitol Grounds, 45 State St., Montpelier, 223-7800. CB's The Party Place, 26 Susie Wilson Rd., Essex Jet., 8785522. Charlie 0's, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main S t , St. Albans, 524-1405. City Lim its, 14 Greene St., Vergennes, 877-6919. Club M etronom e, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Farr's R oadhouse, Rt. 2, Waterbury, 244-4053. Flynn Center/FlynnSpace, 153 Main St., Burlington, 8635966.

H igher Ground, 1 Main S t , Winooski, 654-8888. The H ungry Lion, 1145 Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5848. J. Morgan's at Capitol Plaza, 100 Main S t , Montpelier, 223-5252. J.P.'s Pub, 139 Main St., Burlington, 658-6389. The Kept W riter, 5 Lake S t , St. Albans, 527-6242. Kincade's, Rt. 7, Milton, 893-4649. Leunig's, 115 Church St., Burlington, 863-3759. Lincoln Inn Lounge, 4 Park S t , Essex J e t, 878-3309. Lion's Den Pub, Mountain Road, Jeffersonville, 644-5567. Mad M ountain Tavern, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-2562. Mad River U nplugged at Valley Players Theater, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-8910. M anhattan Pizza & Pub, 167 Main St., Burlington, 658-6776. M atterhorn, 4969 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-8198. M cDonough's, Upper Bridge Street, Plattsburgh, 518-566-8126. M illennium N ightclub, 165 Church St., Burlington, 660-2088. M iddle Earth Music Hall, Bradford, 222-4748. The M onkey H ouse, 30 Main St., Winooski, 655-4563. M onopole, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, N.Y., 518-563-2222. Muddy Waters, 184 Main St., Burlington, 658-0466. M usic Box, 147 Creek Rd., Craftsbury Village, 586-7533. Nectar's, 188 Main St., Burlington, 658-4771. 135 Pearl St., Burlington, 863-2343. Otter Creek Tavern, 35 Green St., Vergennes, 877-3667. Parima, 185 Pearl St., Burlington, 864-7917. Pickle Barrel N ightclub, Killington Rd., Killington, 422-3035. The Pour H ouse, 1900 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-3653. Purple Moon Pub, Rt. 100, Waitsfield, 496-3422. Radio Bean, 8 N. Winooski Ave., Burlington, 660-9346. Rasputin's, 163 Church St., Burlington, 864-9324. Red Square, 136 Church St., Burlington, 859-8909. Rhom bus, 186 College St., Burlington, 865-3144. Ripton Com m unity Coffee H ouse, Rt. 125, 388-9782. Ri Ra Irish Pub, 123 Church St., Burlington, 860-9401. Rozzi's Lakeshore Tavern, 1072 West Lakeshore Dr., Colchester, 863-2342. Ruben Jam es, 159 Main St., Burlington, 864-0744. Rusty Nail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 253-6245. Sami's H armony Pub, 216 Rt. 7, Milton, 893-7267. Sh-Na-Na's, 101 Main St., Burlington, 865-2596. St. John's Club, 9 Central Ave., Burlington, 864-9778. Stow ehof Inn, Edson Hill Rd., Stowe, 253-9722. Sw eetw aters, 118 Church S t , Burlington, 864-9800. .: Three M ountain Lodge, Jeffersonville, 644-5736. Trackside Tavern, 18 Malletts Bay Ave., Winooski, 655-9542. Trinity Church, 137 Main, Montpelier, 229-9158. 242 Main, Burlington, 862-2244. Upper Deck Pub at th e W indjam m er, 1076 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-6585. Valencia, Pearl St. & S. Winooski Ave., Burlington, 658-8978. Vermont Pub & Brewery, 144 College, Burlington, 865-0500. The V illage Cup, 30 Rt. 15, Jericho, 899-1730. The W aiting Room, 156 St. Paul St., Burlington, 862-3455. Wine Bar at W ine Works, 133 St. Paul St., Burlington, 951-9463.

W/ANTIGONE R IS IN G

ONE MAIN ST. • WINOOSKI • INFO 654-8888 DOORS8 P M * SHOW9 PM unless noted ALL SHOWS 18+ WITH POSITIVE 1.0. unless noted FRIDAY, DECEMBER 27 $10 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW

SETH li

YACOVONE BAND

A N T IC O N E R IS IN G

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 28 S16 ADVANCE SIB OAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN & SAM ADAMS WELCOMES

APRIL WINE 6084

THURSDAY, JANUARY 16 S18 ADVANCE S20 DAY OF SHOW EARLY SEATED SHOW: DOORS 7PM | NON-SMOKINSI

JO R M A KAUKONEN & /

BLUE COUNTRY/ FRIDAY, JANUARY 17 $6 AT DOOR | ALL AGESI MIA’S ANNUAL BIRTHDAY BASHI

[/ VOICE,D E E PSO D A C A R R IG A N , T H E C U SH & OTHER SPECIAL CUESTS SATUROAY, JANUARY 18 S8 AT 000R

BIG ECO VJIM’S SALAD DAYS PATRICK FITZSIM M ONS

SUNOAY, JANUARY 19 S9.S9 ADVANCE S12 DAY OF SHOW DOORS 7PM I ALL AGESI 99.9 THE BUZZ WELCOMES

INTERPOL

C A U A . TH E STATIC ACE THURSDAY, JANUARY 23 $15 ADVANCE $17 DAY OF SHOW DIRECT FROM THE WU-TANG KILLA BEES

pSPECTMCLpm K1LIAH PRIEST, REMEDYM FRIDAY, JANUARY 24 S12 ADVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW

CREEK HMAX T H E G R IF T SATURDAY, JANUARY 25 S12 AOVANCE $12 DAY OF SHOW NON-SMOKINGI

JOHNNYA

IT J U S T F E E L S G O O D M

i n

i c

135 PEARL STREET BURLINGTON, VT 863.2343

C H R IS H A R F O R D

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 3 S20 ADVANCE S22 OAY OF SHOW UNIVERSAL MESSAGE TOUR FEATURING

PtAR

{ANTHONY B1/1 JUNIOR KELLY, NORRIS MAN, CHRlSTINI

W/ STARTRAIL FAMILY BAND

THE M AN’S ROOM a men’s leather party

/JOHNBROWN'SBODY

10pm $5 w/DJ Elliot

FRIDAY 12.27 8-1 lp m $3

BOUND

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 6 $8 ADVANCE S10 OAY OF SHOW

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 8 $10 ADVANCE S15 DAY OF SHOW VT PEOPLE W/ AIDS COALITION PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH MOUNTAIN PRIDE MEDIA

followed by:

WINTER IS A DRAG BALLVIII \

A FETISH PARTY FOR ALL

SATURDAY 12.28 10pm $5

VICIOUS w/DJ CHIA

FEAT. DJ ELIOT M ATOS, NOEL BEN O IT C R O W N IN G O FT H E KIN G & QUEEN OF DRAC, HOUSE OF LENAY AS MC & OTHERS

NEW YEARS EVE

THE SHINY DISCO BALL

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 13 SIB AOVANCE S20 OAY OF SHOW EARLY SEATED SHOW: DOORS 7PM

w/ c R A IG miTCHELL

DEL MCCOURY M BAND to N STARLINE RHYTHM BOYS

SUNDAYS - RECOVERY NIGHT M O N D A Y S - IT’S A SCH O O L NIGHT

Written by Nora Mitchell. Performed by Sara Beck George, Isaiah Keepin, Will Marquess and John Rouleau

Thursday, January th,

7 :30 pm, FlynnSpace

TUESDAYS - $1 BUD NIGHT

A REID GENAUER A

WEDNWSDAYS - KARAOKE KAPERS W / BOB

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15 S12 AOVANCE S14 DAY OF SHOW

THURSDAYS - QUEEN CITY RO CK

W / C H i A & E L L IO T

A performance poem for four voices, this is a cross between a string quartet and a chamber opera, but with no strings and no singing. Instead of strings, the human voice; instead of notes, language. Four voices interweave, overlap, and speak singly, telling the story of a young gay man’s coming out, his murder, and its aftermath.

Tickets $12, Students $8 available at FlynnTix Box Office 86-FLYNN, 153 Main St. Burlington This production is made possible by the Vermont Arts Council, with support from the National Endowment for the Arts.

& THE ASSEMBLY OF DUST SATURDAY. FEBRUARY 22 S13 AOVANCE $15 OAY OF SHOW 106.7 WIZN WELCOMES

JOHN VALBYVi A K A D R . D IR T Y

E n g a g in g Thoughts Street 864-0012

ADVANCE TICKETS AVAILABLE AT HIGHERGROUNDMUSiC.COM, HIGHER GROUND BOX OFFICE. PURE POP RECORDS. PEACOCK MUSIC, or call 800.965.4827

y THE11 HIGHERSELLINGGROUNDTICKETS BOXOFFICEIS OPENM-F FROM 1 TO iiPCOftMS EVENTS [/ m

WWW.HIGHERGROUNDMUSIC.COM

> I

34A I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS ■■■

SUN.29 « 33A Nightclub, 8 p.m. $10. Ages 13-19.

FREESTYLE

(hip-hop/r&b), Rasputin's,

10 p.m. NC/$7. 18+

KARAOKE,

Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3

p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m., NC.

. 3

KARAOKE, Ri Ra Irish Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.. VOICE, Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. WHITEMEAT &CORNBREAD (jam-rock), Nectar's, 8 p.m. NC.

TEEN NITE W/DJ ROBBIE J.

(hip-

hop/r&b/reggae). Millennium Nightclub, 8 p.m. $10. Ages 13-19.

HONKY-TONK TRAILER TRASH W/BRETT HUGHES (classic country DJ), The Monkey House, 9 p.m. NC.

northern OPEN MIKE, Sam i's Harmony

at the top of his game. Yet even with all his recent jet-setting, a return to Vermont is a good cause to celebrate. This Friday, December 27, the Seth Yacovone Band bring their Allman

Pub, 7 p.m.

NC.

JERRY LAVENE

Brothers-like blues-rock fury to Higher Ground, with Antigone Rising.

(singer-song-

writers), College St. Congregational Church, Burlington, 3 & 10 p.m. NC.

THE SHINY DISCO BALL DAVE GRIPPO BAND

9 p.m. NC.

year. European tours and jamming with the likes of Trey Anastasio have kept the young axe-man

For m ore First N ight fe stiv ities, see even t program and h igh ligh ts in Section B.

(7 0 s & '80s

disco, DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $10.

:: buriington area NO GUITAR OPEN MIKE, Radio Bean,

has had a busy

Radio Bean, 9 p.m. $5.

Pickle Barrel,

M O N

Seth Yacovone

GREGORY DOUGLASS, SYD

10 p.m. $8.

$***%,

(klezmer/gypsy, mountain blues),

(rock), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

RED, WHITE AND BLUES

m g^owwiwt

:: buriington area BLACK SEA QUARTET, EAMES BROS.

:: northern NAMED BY STRANGERS :: southern ENTRAIN (world-rock),

r.wmmw*. *

(jazz guitar), Chow!

THE X-RAYS (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. NC. LOUIS CALDERIN PRESENTS "CARNI VAL" (eclectic), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $5.

LIVE DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. 18+ HOLIDAY KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

JENNI JOHNSON & FRIENDS (jazz/blues), Waiting Room, 6 p.m. NC,

followed by DJ A-DOG (lounge/aridjazz) 10:30 p.m. NC.

GRAVELIN BROS,

(folk-rock), Henry's

Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

JAMES O'HALLORAN

(flamenco guitar).

The Monkey House, 8 p.m. NC. SAND BLIZZARD (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

JODY ALBRIGHT & CARL RECCHIA ("Bacharach, Beatles and Chet Baker"), Tavern at the In n at Essex, 9 p.m. $5.

Bella, 6:30 p.m. NC.

:: southern ENTRAIN (world-rock),

(funk/jazz), Red

Square, 9 p.m. NC.

MUSIC ON THE MOVE

(rock), Edgewater

Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

Pickle Barrel, 10

DJ JAZZY JEFF

(dance), Franny 0's,

9 p.m. NC.

p.m. $8.

:: champlain valley LIVE DJ, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC. TOAST (rock). Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC

JENNI JOHNSON & THE JAZZ JUNKETEERS, Mary's at Baldwin Creek, 10:15 p.m. NC.

Thursday Jan.2 TH E W AILERS 18+

Sunday Jan.5 PARANOID SOCIAL CLUB W / G R U V IS M A L T

18+

Wed&Thu jan.869 JULY FOR KINGS 18+

Wed&Thu Jan.15616 2 SKINNEE J S 18+

Wednesday Jan.22 AUTHORITY ZERO W /D A M O N E 18+

Wednesday lan. 29 M A RSH A LL TUCKER BAND Tickets available online o r charge by phone

802.422.3035

Killington Road, Killington www.picklcbarrelnightcluD.com

WEDNESDAY

CLOSED THURSDAY CLOSED

R U

FRIDAY

6-9 pm

E A R L Y F R ID A Y J A Z Z :

BETTER THAN BAR FOOD

M O T IO N T R IO

LATENIGHTL0UNGE:11pm-2am

A-DOG

SATURDAY

S C H M O O Z E with IN F IN IT E & M E L O GRANT

SUNDAY B R U N C H & L U N C H M E N U I1 a m -5 p m

SU N D A Y BRUNCH TUESDAY-NEW YEAR’S EVE

LUMCH

N O W S E R V IN G

Monday - Friday 11 am Saturday - Sunday 12 pm

DINNERJAZZ: 6-9 pm L A T E N IG H T LO U N G E :

A-DOG

10pm-2 am

U P C O M IN G E V E N T S 1.1.03 C L O S E D 1.2.03 S C H M O O Z E w ith L N F IN IT E & M E L O G R A N T 1.3.03 e a rly R E D T H R E A D T R IO la te : A - D 0 G 1.4.03 L E F T E Y E J U M P SU N DAY BRUNCH 1.7.03 VT A ssxia tio n for Reproductive Freedom Benefit

Appetizers Soups/Salads Grilled Fare & Sandwiches Fried Baskets

ta rib c m flrb n M tfV e * New Sears Eve

PHIL HENRY

The Real Deal Drink Verm ont Beer 5 ilk A l e F o r b id d e n F ru it R e a l R a sp b e rry

12/27.

DREAMLAND Saturday Night 12/28,

r.5.03

w w w .th e w a itin g ro o m v t.c o m

LIVE MUSIC

Friday Night

p ric e fix e d , 5 c o u rse m eal. 2 s e a t ln g s , G & 9pm r e s e r v a t io n s re c o m m e n d e d 862.3455

JENNI JO H N SO N & F R IE N D S

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8 0 S h illin g S c o t s A l e B u rly I r is h A l e D o g b it e B / T T e r O ’F esT L a g e r Bom bay G ra b I P A .

862.3455

B o u rb o n -C a sk P o rte r

THE WAITING ROOM

159 Main St. Burlington carry out: 864-0744 delivery: 865-3663

NO COVER

8 6 4

- ') 8

Church S treet M arketplace www.Sweetwaters&istro.coM

V e r m o n t 5 m o k e d P o r te r

H a n d s o m e p i c k ’s S t o u t 2 C a s k - c o n d i t i o n e d A le s

7 ir.h V s}li* 2 l \ m a h :* TYj 4!* j

SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003. J^iRnsic 35A

PURE POP RECORDS, BURLINGTON

BUCH SPIELER MUSIC, MONTPELIER

EXILE ON M AIN STREET, BARRE

VERMONT BOOKSHOP, MIDDLEBURY

PEACOCK MUSIC, PLATTSBURGH

1. Norah Jones — Come Aw ay

1. Various Artists — 0 Brother,

With Me

Where Art Thou? Soundtrack

Light

2. Beck — Sea Change

2. Various Artists — 0 Brother,

2. Kenny Chesney — No Shirt,

2. Norah Jones — Come Aw ay

2. Eminem —

CLUB

Tragically Hip — I n Violet The Em inem Sh o w

3. Tragically Hip — In Violet

Where Art Th ou? Soundtrack

No Shoes, No Problems

With Me

3. Dave Matthews Band —

Light

3. Bruce Springsteen — The

3. Eva Cassidy — Im a g in e

B usted S tu ff

4. Trey Anastasio — Trey

R ising

3. Avril Lavigne — Let Go 4. Rascal Flatts — Melt

4. Eva Cassidy — Songbird

4. Nelly — Nellyville

Anastasio

4. Bonnie Raitt — Silver Lining 5. Alison Krauss & Union Station

5. Eminem — The Em inem Show

5. Bruce Springsteen — The

5. Various Artists — 8 Mile

6. Nelly — Nellyville

R ising

Soundtrack

m ecR on om e r a w DECEMBER 27

BTOWN SOUND presents

D JE D D IE B O O M

TUESDAYDECEMBER

31 -OPEN TILL 3 am .

7. Dixie Chicks — Home

6. Alison Krauss & Union Station

6. Norah Jones — Come Aw ay

NEW YEARS EVE

— New Favorite 7. Josh Groban — Jo sh Groban

With Me

LUIS CALDERIN PRESENTS

Fairytales

8. Creed — Weathered 9. Kid Rock — Cocky

8. DJ Shadow — Private Press

7. John Mayer — Room For

10. Pink — M isunderstood

8. Bonnie Raitt — Silver Lining

Where Art Thou? Soundtrack

9. Bruce Springsteen — The

Squares

8. Bruce Springsteen — The

Rising

8. Dixie Chicks — Hom e

9. Eva Cassidy — Eva B y Heart 10. James Taylor — October

Rising

10. Dave Matthews Band—

9. Trey Anastasio — Trey

Road

9. Dixie Chicks — Hom e

Busted Stuff

A nastasio

5. Blackalicious — Blazing Arrow 7. White Stripes — White Blood

— New Favorite 6. Jack Johnson — Brushfire

Cells

6. Wilco — Yankee Hotel Foxtrot

7. Various Artists — 0 Brother,

THE CARNIVAL

10. Rolling Stones — Forty Licks

10. Dave Matthews Band — Busted Stuff

T O P S E LLE R S AT LOCAL IN D E P E N D E N T RECORD STORES. TO P SALES O F 2 0 0 2

central TNT KARAOKE PARTY,

Farr's Roadhouse,

DERRICK SEMLER

(blues-rock), Charlie

0's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

ANTHONY GERACHI

(jazz), Stowehof

WALT ELMORE 8. ALL THAT JAZZ, 10 p.m.

Inn, 5 p.m. NC, followed by NC.

LEON TUBBS

(jazz), Mad Mountain

Tavern, 9 p.m. $4.

:: northern PAUL DOUSE/MARK ABAIR/PHILDO PHIL (acoustic trio), Sami's Harmony Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

ACOUSTIC OPEN MIKE W/THE HARDLUCK KID, Kacey's, 8:30 p.m. NC. JIM (rock^M onopoie* 9 p.m. NC. NEW YEAR'S BASH (eclectic), Matterhorn, 9 p.m. $3-5.

southern NEW YEAR'S PARTY (eclectic),

:: central OPEN MIKE W/ABBY,

p.m. NC.

WES RUELLE, TALVIN CROSBY, ASA SOURDIFFE & SAM MERRICK (jazz),

HOUSE JAM,

(Irish), Ri R3 Irish Red Square, 10 p.m.

(hip-hop/reggae/r&b), Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $7/NC. 18+

(classic rock; New Year's

party), Middle Earth Music Hall, 9 p.m.

Charlie 0's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

T H U

Robbie J.), Millennium Nightclub, 9

OPEN MIKE,

QUEEN CITY ROCK (DJ;

(rock/urban

10 p.m. NC.

LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. LADIES NIGHT (DJ Robbie J.)

NC.

REGGAE NIGHT (DJ), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC. SHAWN 8. SHELBY KING (jazz), Upper Deck Pub, Windjammer, 6:30 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE,

Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3

Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/FRANK,

Franny 0's, 9 p.m.

NC.

(eclec

:: champlain valley OPEN JAM W/ELIZA'S MISERY, City Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

DJ TOO-MUCH

'80s with a

flair), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. NC.

DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC.

(live hip-hop), Red Square,

KARAOKE W/MATT 8. BONNIE DRAKE,

tic), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

9:30 p.m. NC.

LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX

EYE OH YOU

p.m. NC.

.02

:: burlington area FLOWERS FROM A PASSING CAR

Manhattan Pizza & Pub,

8 p.m. NC.

18+ before 11 p.m.

The Brewski, 5 p.m. NC.

NC.

LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. COLLEGE NIGHT (dance party w/DJ p.m. $2/5. 18+ before 11 p.m.

Pickle

Mad Mountain

northern MERCER BURNS (acousta-funk-reggae).

Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

VORCZA (funk-jazz),

TURKEY BOUILLON MAFIA

Ri R£ Irish Pub,

Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $5/NC.

Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC.

LAST NIGHT'S JOY

LIVE ACOUSTIC SERIES,

9 p.m. NC. Parima, 7

(jazz),

Leunig's, 7 p.m. NC.

:: champlain valley LADIES' NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits,

135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC.

PINE ST. JAZZ ENSEMBLE,

ELLEN POWELL & GUESTS

(rock), Rozzi's,

7 p.m. NC.

burlington area IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard),

(jazz-blues),

Halvorson's, 8 p.m. $5.

3 p.m. NC.

0X0N0ISE & FRIENDS

DJ RHINO

Barrel, 10 p.m. $45.

SPECTRIS

W E D .01 HAPPY NEW YEAR!

9 p.m. $20.

BIG JOE BURRELL

KARAOKE, The Pour House, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from

FRIDAYJANUARY 10 BURLINGTON ANTI WAR COALITION BENIFIT with

TAMMY FLETCHER and STEPH TAPIS THURSDAYJANUARY 16 DJ DAVE RALPH

JAMES KOCHALKA AND MISSY BLY SATURDAY JANUARY 19

T H U .02 »

CHRIS COLLINGWOOD FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE

36 A

SOME OF OURFAVORITES OF 2002 MANN: 10ST IN SPACE

INTERPOL: TURN ON THE

THE FLAMING LIPS: YOSHIMI BATTLES THE PINK ROBOTS

THU 12/26

9 P.M.

cH R o M E

FRJ12/27

coWfays

M S E A Q U A R T E T

SAT 12/28

115 S. WINOOSKI AVE BURLINGTON | SUN 12/29

MON 12/30

EXPERT REPAIRS A N D M O D IF IC A T IO N S TUE12/31

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9 P.M.

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B y ro n H ill L td • 4 8 0 H e r c u le s D r • C o lc h e s te r

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RETUBES & RECAPS • K IT B U IL D IN G

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MANIFEST NEXTO ME

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A lW t t

SHOW

Friday

DJ SHADOW: THE private PRESS

em ily

(dance), Otter Creek

Tavern, 9 p.m. NC

$12.60.

WITH SPECIAL GUESTS

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36A I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

< c lu b d a te s > THU.02 « 35A

OPEN JAM

(blues/funk/rock), A sh le y 's,.

9 p.m. NC.

:: central OPEN MIKE, Montpelier Community Coffee House, Rhapsody Main Street, 7 p.m. Donations.

LIVE DJ, A Taste of Dixie, 10 p.m. NC. BAD HORSEY (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3.

KARAOKE W/PETER BOARDMAN, Backstage Pub, 9 p.m. NC. (live radio show),

WIZN BAR & GRILL

Lincoln In n Lounge, 4 p.m. NC, fol

northern OPEN MIKE, Kept Writer,

lowed by

SUPERSOUNDS DJ

(dance

party/game show), 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE,

7 p.m.

Donations. AA

Geno's Karaoke Club, from

3 p.m. NC. TANTRUM (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

GOOD QUESTION BAND

rn i rrv l.U O :: burlington area GREG IZOR BLUES TRIO, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

MIEKA PAULEY (singer-songwriter), 135 Pearl, 8 p.m. $6.

LIVE DJ, Ri Rd Irish Pub, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. SANDRA WRIGHT BAND (soul/blues), Red Square, 10 p.m. NC.

THE STATIC AGE, THE CUSH, DIA LOGUE FOR THREE, THE SMITTENS (post-punk, indie-rock), Club

LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub, 10 p.m. NC.

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $3. FUSION (hip-hop/reggae/dance; DJs Robbie J. & Toxic), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m.

PIANO MAN

(Top 40), Ruben James,

10 p.m. NC.

in gospel groups but left for a gig as keyboardist with The Jerry Garcia

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. RED THREAD TRIO (jazz), Waiting Room, 6 p.m. NC, followed by DJ A-DOG

Band. Hiding behind his trademark tinted sunglasses, Seals added a deep

LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX

touch of churchy passion to the hippie icon's sound. Now rocking the

KARAOKE KAPERS

Hammond B-3 with his group Melting Pot, Seals still packs the jam with

PICTURE THIS

Melvin Seals

started off playing

:: champlain valley TOP HAT DANCE PARTY (DJ), City Otter Creek Tavern, 9:30 p.m. NC

(lounge/acid jazz), 10:30 p.m. NC. (rock/urban

Roadhouse, 9 p.m.

SHAUNA ANTONIUC TRIO

(jazz vocals),

J. Morgan's, 7 p.m. NC. OPEN MIKE, Trinity Church, Montpelier,

St. John's Club, 8 p.m. NC. (jazz), Upper Deck Pub,

Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC.

soul. Appearing Friday, Dec. 27, at the Matterhorn.

STUR CRAZIE

(rock), Henry's Pub,

9:30 p.m. NC.

(rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $3. KARAOKE, Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC. TANTRUM (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE W/FRANK,

:: champlain valley MADD MIXX (DJ), City Limits, 9 p.m.

Charlie 0's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

THE ABBY JENNE BAND (folk-rock). Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4.

:: northern SAND BLIZZARD (rock),

Franny 0's, 9 p.m.

NC.

(Cajun jump blues),

:: central MIRAGE (rock), Farr's

Kincade's,

NC.

Roadhouse, 9 p.m.

$3-5.

9 p.m. NC.

DREAMWEAVER (DJ), G Stop, 9 p.m. NC. WERE (rock). Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. V0RCZA (funk-jazz), The Brewski, 9 p.m.

:: northern WERE (rock), Monopole, 9 p.m. NC. DJ CHEWBACCA (hip-hop), The Brewski,

SUN.05

NC.

9 p.m. NC.

:: southern NIGHTINGALE (traditional acoustic), Middle Earth Music Halt, 8:30 p.m. $10.50.

:: burlington area OLD TIME SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 1 p.m. NC, followed by THE UNDERLAP

DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3. (host Bob Bolyard),

DAVE HARRISON W/STARSTRUCK KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC. HOLLYWOOD FRANKIE (rock/urban DJ;

BAD HORSEY

$3-5.

LEFT EYE JUMP

& Frostee), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/10. 18+ before 11 p.m. DIAZ 8. RUGGER (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 10 p.m. NC. TALA (world-jazz; CD release party), FlynnSpace, 8 p.m. $14/11. AA

DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. $3. Vermont Pub 8i Brewery, 9 p.m. NC. STUR CRAZIE (rock), Henry's Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

OXO & THE HARDLUCK KID (rock), :: central MIRAGE (rock), Farr's

Metronome, 10 p.m. $2.

TOP HAT DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. $3. CLUB MIXX (hip-hop/house; DJs Irie

LIVE MUSIC,

Limits, 9 p.m. NC.

8 p.m. NC.

Metronome, 10 p.m. $5. •

TOP HAT DJ

(rock), Franny

0's, 9 p.m. NC.

LIVE JAZZ, Sweetwaters, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. RETRONOME ('70s-'80s DJs), Club

S A T 04:: burlington area PEG TASSEY, ETHAN 8. TOM AZARIAN

(rock), 9 p.m. NC. (hip-hop/drums 'n ' bass). Red Square, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC.

VOICE

(folk-rock). Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC.

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I music 37A

r e v ie w t h i s SUNDAY NIGHT MASS

(DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2. FREESTYLE (hip-hop/r&b), Rasputin's, 10

p.m. NC/$7. 18+ Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3 p.m. NC.

KARAOKE,

KARAOKE W/MATT & BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

ACOUSTIC OPEN MIKE W/THE HARDLUCK KID, Kace\/s, 8:30 p.m. NC.

W E D .0 8

buriington area IRISH SESSIONS, Radio Bean, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE KAPERS (host Bob Bolyard), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC.

M O N .0 6 :: buriington area OPEN MIKE, Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, Ri RS Irish Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC.

GRIPPO FUNK BAND,

Red Square,

10 p.m. NC.

LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. HONKY-TONK TRAILER TRASH W/BRETT HUGHES (classic country DJ), The Monkey House, 9 p.m. NC.

northern OPEN MIKE, Sami's Harmony

Parima, 7

p.m. NC.

LAST NIGHT'S JOY (Irish),

Ri Rh Irish

Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

JAMES HARVEY QUARTET (jazz),

Red

Square, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. COLLEGE NIGHT (dance party w/DJ Robbie J.), Millennium Nightclub, 9 p.m. $2/5. 18+ before 11 p.m. DJ RHINO (hip-hop/reggae/r&b),

Pub, 7 p.m.

(jazz guitar), Chow!

Bella, 6:30 p.m. NC.

year b rou gh t som e real gem s from local vets and fresh y o u n g grou p s alike, keep in g our ears at attention.

KARAOKE, J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE JAZZ, Waiting Room, 10 p.m. NC. LARRY BRETT'S JUKEBOX (rock/urban DJ; DVDs), Sh-Na-Na's, 8 p.m. NC. KARAOKE, The Pour House, 9 p.m. NC. Geno's Karaoke Club, from 3

p.m. NC.

T U E .0 7 :: buriington area AARON JACOBS, ELIJAH KROATZ (singer-songwriters), Radio Bean, 9 p.m. NC. LINK UP (reggae DJs), Red Square, 9 p.m. NC.

LIVE MUSIC, Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ CRAIG MITCHELL (techno/house), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. $2.

LIVE DJ, Rasputin's, 10 p.m. NC. 18+ 0X0N0ISE (rock), J.P.'s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. VT ASSN. FOR REPRODUCTIVE FREE DOM BENEFIT (eclectic), Waiting Room, 10 p.m. S3. JAMES O'HALLORAN (flamenco guitar), The Monkey House, 8 p.m. NC.

:: northern PAUL DOUSE/MARK ABAIR/PHILDO PHIL (acoustic trio), Sami's Harmony Pub, 7 p.m. NC.

- A n o th e r year gone by and we're all so much richer... culturally, anyway. The gu ys and ga ls may not ge t all the attention, they're still pretty darn good. This

Rasputin's, 10 p.m. S7/NC. 18+ OPEN MIKE, Manhattan Pizza & Pub,

KARAOKE,

TOP 10 VERMONT CDS OF 2002 Verm ont m usic scene continued to thrive in 2002, proving th a t w hile the little

9:30 p.m. NC.

NC.

JERRY LAVENE

PINE ST. JAZZ ENSEMBLE,

KARAOKE W/MATT 8. BONNIE DRAKE, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC.

OXONOISE & FRIENDS

(rock), Rozzi's,

cially released discs. Com pilations were n ot included, even th o u g h th e statew ide Cream o f Vermont disc deserves m ention. Also, we focused on stu d io efforts here, even th o u g h h ip-hopp ers Eye Oh You and others rocked us w ith live recordings. In the "b e tte r late th an never" category, we have to applaud truly fine releases from Cancer Conspiracy and Wide W ail —

(singer-songwriter),

CDs of 2002!

Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. Donations.

:: champiain valley LADIES' NIGHT KARAOKE, City Limits,

2. The Static Age — The Cost of Living

9 p.m. NC.

:: central OPEN MIKE, Farr's

3. Ryan Power — Ryan Power Roadhouse, 9 p.m.

NC.

OPEN MIKE W/ABBY,

Mad Mountain

:: northern MERCER BURNS (acousta-funk-reggae), The Brewski, 5 p.m. NC.

:: southern OPEN MIKE, Middle Earth

4. Arthur Adam s — All I Believe 5. Shauna Antoniuc Trio — The Dream's On Me

Tavern, 9 p.m. NC.

8 p.m. NC. ®

1. Starline Rhythm Boys — Honky Tonk L iv in '

6. School Bus — Mess 7. Diane Zeigler — Paintbrush 8. M ark LeGrand — All Dressed Up

Music Hall,

9. Paul Asbell — Steel String Americana 10. Orchid — Field Recordings

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For our a n n u al Top 10, we've picked the d iscs th a t are still stick in g in our heads. To make the selection a little easier, we considered on ly fu ll-le n gth , o ffi

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I art 39A

E X H IB IT IO N S

artreview

:: A R T R E V IE W

:: S P O T L IG H T S

< e x h ib it io n s >

BY MARC AWQDEY

C A LL TO A R TISTS The Flynndog is seeking "mail art" for an exhibit entitled "Cancelled." Works must be artist-designed and bearing a postal-system cancellation stamp from its place of origin. Deadline: January 29. Send to Flynndog, 208 Flynn Ave., Burlington, 05401 with SASE and $5 submission fee. Info, flynndog@together.net.

O P EN IN G S

THREE ARTISTS FROM GRACE: Gayleen Aiken and fellow "ou t sider" artists represent the grass roots arts organization. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Reception January 10, 5-8 p.m. For art workshops and instruction, see "classes" in Section B.

Vanishing Point?

O N G O IN G

he most famous painting by an sips obscure English artist named S.W.

few isolated plots of green and turquoise. It’s like viewing the Parrot is his portrait of a fellow Midwest from a transcontinental Royal Academy member bending the flight. A narrow red border around rules. His tableau lampoons the leg the scene compacts it into a tight endary Joseph Mallord William composition. E X H IB IT Turner, in a top hat and tails, apply The landscapes of Ethan Murrow "Vernissage ing finishing couches to a painting and Steve Goodman are more natu 2003/' a that had already been installed in a ralistic Neither artist, however, real group exhibit. ly produces a portrait of a particular Doll-Anstadt Royal Academy exhibition. The occasion was a “Varnishing place. In Goodmans “Fort Hill,” the Gallery, Burlington. Day” or Vernissage in French. In hill is a bump on the horizon line of Through 1809, the Royal Academy instituted a storm-swept prairie. Worm-like red January. Varnishing Day — the day before details in the foreground make the their exhibitions opened — to allow location seem more like Mars than ARTW O RK artists to apply a final coat to their Nebraska. “Turning Series #1” is a "Candy Shot," works in the clean gallery environ sequence of four squares of color, by Thomas ment. Probably in response to the variations on the theme of landscape Marrinson vagaries of light, Turner often that are less naturalistic than “Fort repainted large portions of his can Hill.” vasses, as Parrot’s portrait reveals. Murrow also works with flat hori The Doll-Anstadt Gallery uses the zons. Perhaps these are exotic to title “Vernissage” for its annual end- Vermonters? “Green with Curved of-year exhibition of regular artists. Road” is, as the title indicates, a But all the pieces in this show were green landscape with a curved road

Worm-like red details in the foreground make the location seem more like Mars than Nebraska. surely finished well before the open ing. Turner was known for his dramat ic landscapes, and the D-A show is rich in that genre. But the land scapists at the Burlington gallery are firmly rooted in abstraction rather than romantic realism. Peter Arvidson’s “Wild W ood” is a patchwork of crimson fields surrounding a . T&fc.

the upper piece, though seemingly just for texture. The sky is painted over the roughly zeppelin-shaped glued piece. A nearby piece by Jim Giddings uses collage in a similar way r hree Figures in a Landscape presents a trio of sketchv figures in a brown coiO' field he .'lues *>r me collage are no different from die sur rounding original surface. The D -As “Vernissage” is not entirely composed of landscapes. On display too are the magical-realism figurative paintings of Lynn Imperatore, the hand-painted photo graphs of Susan Fenton and other works. All in all, “Vernissage” pres ents the works of about 20 D-A artists. Most of the pieces are twodimensional. A sculptural piece on a pedestal by British ceramist Peter Hayes is in a class by itself. The large white disk with earthy cracks and accents of pale blue and scarlet has a smooth surface, making it appear to be polished stone. The disk has a hole in the center, like an ancient Chinese coin, and the opening gives the piece an airy lightness that belies its actual heft. An artist of the 1830s described one of Turner’s pre- Vernissage pieces as “a mere dab of several colors” and “without form and void.” The D-A show has no such formless artworks.

running toward the horizon. A splat of gray-green slathered on the upper right edge of the piece drips down the surface, negating the painterly illusion of the landscape as a “win “Vernissage” is on view through dow into space.” January; after which the gallery takes “Crop Lines” is an interstate high its annual midwinter break until way curving over flat land, organized spring. © into a vertical diptych. Murrow added a collage element in the sky of

::burling ton area KEVIN BUBR ISK I: black-and-white photographs taken over 10 years in Tibet and Kashgar. Amy E Tarrant Gallery, Flynn Center, Burlington, 652-4500. January 10 - March 1.

R A IM 0ND DEL N0CE SENIOR. watercolors, and KIM SENIOR: folding screens.-Phoenix Gallery, Burlington 863-9400 Through December 28. LARS FISK: sculptures in the round inaugurate the newly renovated arts center. Firehouse Gallery Burlington, 865-7166. Through January 26. MICHAEL BROWN: "Lines and Theorem." paintings. Club Metronome, Burlington, 865-4563. Through December. MARILYN M ADD IS0N : "First Exposure," photographs. Speeder & Earl's, Pine St., Burlington, 860-9502. Through January 5.

CAROLYN WALTON. SKYE FOREST & TRACY VARTENIGIAN BUR H A NS: a holiday show featur ing paintings in oil and pastel. Luxton-Jones Gallery, 5955 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne, 9858223. Through January. VERNISSAGE 2 0 0 3 : The annual show features painting, sculpture, photography and drawings by a group of local and national artists. Doll-Anstadt Gallery,

ONGOING » PLEASE NOTE*

40A

Art listings and spot

lights are written by

Pam ela Polston.

Listings are restricted to exhibits in truly public places; exceptions may be made at the discretion of the editor. Send listings, including info phone number, to galleries@sevendaysvt.com . Also see art listings at www.sevendaysvt.com.

■ . :<•* ,vi .• jW i

}

4 0M December 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

< exh ib itio n s> ONGOING « 39A

CLOSE-UP AND PERSONAL Burlington photographer Marilyn Maddison has been shooting since she was a teen, but not until now could the public see what she's been up to — the appropri ately titled exhibit, "First Exposure." Color and blackand-white works, and a cou ple Polaroid transfers, adorn the walls of Speeder & Earl's on Pine Street in Burlington. The photos are smallish, the subject matter — from flow ers to Asian sculptures to a coy self-portrait — tightly cropped. The effect is oddly intimate. Maddison inserts her personality with an artful selection of mismatched frames as well. Pictured: "Mexican Mask."

Burlington, 864-3661. Through January. KIT DONNELLY: "Unfolding," acrylic paintings on canvas and watercolors on paper. Church & Maple Gallery, Burlington, 863-3880. Through December 28. TIMOTHY GRANNIS: new works in sculpture and jewelry by the gold smith. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 660-2032. Through December. LYNN IMPERATORE: "Seasoned Greetings," surreal paintings and drawings inspired by dreams and life experiences. Amy E. Tarrant Gallery, Flynn Center, Burlington, 652-4500. Through January 4. W INTER MEDLEY 2 0 0 2 : a group of 15 area artists join in an end-ofyear show. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through January 15.

RANDY ALLEN, JANET VAN FLEET, JENEANE LUN N & KALA CAPLAN-HAGOPIAN: "B y Boat, By Rail, By Bike," oil paintings. Artpath Gallery, Burlington, 5632273. Through January ip. OBADIAH HUNTER: modern genre paintings, Fletcher Room, January 3-19; BEST OF THE HILL: mixedmedia works by the UVM art department's finest, Mezzanine Balcony, through January; HERB LEFF: kinetic reflective sculptures, Main Reading Room, ongoing; and JAKE RIFKIN: wire sculptures, Reading Room, ongoing. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8657211. ROBYN PEIRCE: mixed media works. Daily Planet Restaurant, Burlington, 862-9647. Through December. NELLY BONFIGLI: pastels and col lages. Picolo Cafe, Burlington, 862-5515. Through December.

ROBERT WALDO BRUNELLE, JR.:

other paintings. Daily Planet Restaurant, Burlington, 899-1106. Through December 30. CAROL HINRICHSEN: "Round-trip (Rediscovering Home)," paintings, prints and an installation that observe domestic space. Also, MARIE LAPRE GRABON: "ReConnections," fetish dolls for the 21st century. Flynndog, Burlington, 652-2583. Through January 12. ROB FARRINGTON: color photo graphs and illuminations. The Waiting Room, Burlington, 7344254, ongoing; also, color prints, Healthy Living Market, South Burlington, through December. A .D . LABERGE: new photographs. Brueggeris Bagels, Burlington, 860-1995. Through January. W INTER WONDER: a group exhibit of new and juried member artisans in multiple media. Frog Hollow, Burlington, 388-4074. Through December. LISA M. DIVOLL-PAINTER: "Equine Images," works in acrylic. The Horse Works, Williston, 879-8935. Through March.

THE COLLECTOR'S HOUSE: a new building envisioning the home of a 21st-century folk art collector, designed by architect Adam Kalkin and decorated by Albert Hadley. Shelburne Museum, 985-3348. Through October 2003.

::champlain valley GLIMPSE OF CHRISTMAS PAST:

19th-century-inspired holiday dec orations, exhibits and festivities focus on the spirit of giving. Also, an exhibit of antique trains and railroad equipment, and a festival of miniature trees. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2118. Through December.

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F R E S H M A R K E T D IP S : Tzatziki, Creamy Spinach, Artichoke, Smoked Salmon, Maytag Blue Cheese, Guacamole, Garbonzo Bean, French Onion. $ 3 .5 0 -5 .2 5 / c u P

M A I N C O U R S E S : Roasted Stuffed Pork Tenderloin $ 9 .7 5 /lb , Cornish Game Hens stuffed with brown rice, fruits and nuts $ 8 .9 9 /e a , Cranberry Glazed Ham $ 9 .9 9 /lb , Spinach Ricotta Pie $ 1 2 /e a (serves 6), Pork Pie $ 1 6 /e a (serves 6). S P E C IA L T Y C A K E S & P A S T R IE S : W hole Baked Stuffed Apples $ 3 .5 0 /e a , Holiday Chocolate Cupcakes $ 2 /e a , Buche de N oel $ 3 4 ,

Pistachio Torte with Raspeny Jam $34, Black Forest Cake $28, New York-style Cheesecake with fresh fruit $24.

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ON THE HOUSE

JULES POLK & JA N FEAD:

pottery and paintings, respectively. Art On Main, Bristol, 453-4032. Through December.

Jericho artist Robert Waldo Brunelle straddles the folksy charm of

WORK FIRST, THEN PLAY: an exhibit about leisure life in 19thcentury Vermont, featuring art, documents and artifacts from the permanent collection. Henry Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117. Through March.

"outsider" art and the insightful portraiture of more urbane paint ers in "Burning the Midnight Oil," at the Daily Planet in Burlington.

:;c e n tra l

This collection of people and

NICHOLAS HECHT:

paintings and sculptures. Supreme Court Lobby, Montpelier, 272-0200. Through January 10. MICHAEL T. JERMYN: black-andwhite and color landscape, still life and portrait photography. La Brioche Cafe, Montpelier, 2290443. Through December.

small-town places is vividly ren dered in generous, squishy brush strokes — the images bend around the corners of his unframed can vasses as if unwilling to stop.

TAKE IT HOME: 3RD ANNUAL MEMBERS' SHOW: More than

50 artists display works for holiday giving. Studio Place Arts, Barre, 479-7069. Through January 11. MEMBERS' SHOW: Art, crafts, fun and frolic accompany the opening of Green Mountain Medicinals. Blinking Light Gallery, Plainfield, 454-0141. Through December. DORIS FLORIG: new works in fiber. City Hall, Montpelier, 229-9416. Through December. SEASONS: Nine artists — Alexandra Bottinelli, Cheryl Betz, Jason Conroy, Maggie Neale, Elisabeth Nelson, Cully Renwick, Kathy Stark, Janet Van Fleet and Ann Young — have met monthly for years to share their works in progress. Their first exhibit together features multiple media in response to the theme. City Center, Montpelier, 563-2486. Through January 6. LEE LEONARD: oil paintings, and JOANNE VECCHIOLA: ceramics.

Pictured: "House in Plainfield."

PHOTO: MATTHEW THORSEN

Rhapsody, Montpelier, 426-4077. Through December. CAROLYN WALTON: landscape paintings. Governor's Reception Room, Pavilion Bldg., Montpelier, 828-5657. Through January 15. HOLIDAY SHOW: "Adornment," fea turing paintings, sculptures, blown glass ornaments, jewelry and more by area artists. Carving Studio & Sculpture Center, W. Rutland, 4382097. Through December 29. 2002 HOLIDAY SHOW: paintings by Ruth Fuller White, gingerbread contest/exhibit, and artworks by area . students. Chaffee Art Center, Rut land, 775-0356. Through January 5. KENNETH P. OCHAB: landscape oil paintings, and works by other Vermont artists. Goldleaf Gallery, Waitsfield, 279-3824. Ongoing.

Tis the season to

::northern 2N D ANNUAL HOLIDAY BENEFIT SHOW: Sales of artworks in multi ple media by 13 Vermont artists will contribute to scholarships for Vermont State College art students. Vermont Fine Art Gallery, Stowe, 253-9653. Through December. ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE: The 22nd Annual Festival of Trees, fea turing Christmas trees decorated by community members; a Members' Art Exhibit featuring works by 72 artists; the Normandeau Collection of toleware and other stenciled objects by the late Gladys Hershey Cheyne Paul; and the Vermont Symphony Orchestra's handpainted violins. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 2538358. Through January 4.

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I film 43A

FILM C L IP S

:: S H O W T IM E S

:: F ILM R E V IE W

< filrn>

:: FILM Q U IZ

The G ood, T h e B a d & T h e B o ffo

:: F L IC K C H IC K

< filn n clip s>

BY RICK KISONAK

P R EV IEW S

Hollywood Ending

LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOW ERS Elijah Wood and Sean Astin are reteamed for the sequel to Peter Jackson's megahit. This time around, the two join forces to combat the evil doings of the nefarious Lord Sauron. Ian McKellen costars. (PG-13)

GANGS OF NEW YORK Leonardo DiCaprio and Daniel Day-Lewis face off in Martin Scorsese's epic chronicling the clash between the city's Irish and Italian populations during the„mid1800s. With Cameron Diaz. (R)

THE WILD THORNBERRYS MOVIE The nature-loving TV family makes the trek to the big screen with this animated adventure pitting the Thomberrys against ruthless poachers who inter rupt their African safari. Featuring the voices of Brenda Blethyn, Jodi Carlisle and Lacey Chabert. (G)

TWO WEEKS NOTICE

Hugh Grant and

Sandra Bullock star in the latest from director Marc Lawrence, a romantic comedy about a cuddly corporate mag nate who doesn't realize how deeply he cares for his sexy second-in-com mand until he's about to lose her. With Alicia Witt. (PG-13)

S H O R T S ANALYZE THAI*-*-1*

ell, it’s December already, ?nda wrap for one uniquely lackluster year at the old cineplex. As usual, putting togeth er a year-end list of the 10 worst pic tures was no problem. I could have put together two more, with an Eddie Murphy movie to spare. On the other hand, coming up with titles to fill a 10-best tally was a challenge, to put it kindly. The vast majority of motion pictures released over the past year weren’t terrific or terrible but simply serviceable. Momentarily diverting, perhaps, but nearly impossible to remember by the time you’ve made it to your car. Naturally, it doesn’t help that this is being written in the middle of the month. A dozen or so of the most buzzed-about titles haven’t even made it to town yet, and won’t until after this paper’s deadline: About Schmidt, The Two Towers, Gangs o f New York, The Hours and The Quiet American, for example. Odds are there’s an award-winner or two on that short list. But duty calls. So here you go. And, as always, please bear in mind that I’m not claiming these are 2002’s 10 best and worst pictures, simply the best and worst I happened to see. It goes without saying that life’s too short to bother with stuff like Pluto Nash or Death to Smoochy. Those are bottom-of-the barrel givens. Happy holidays, then. And better luck to us all in 2003...

T H E T E N W O RST

(from bad to baddest) 1. BAD COMPANY

7. MEN IN BLACK II A sequel whose sole purpose seemed to be reminding us how much fun we had watching the original. While five years should’ve offered ample time for Barry Sonnenfeld to dream up lots of wacky, eye-popping ways to top the first film, the second is short not only in running time but in energy and fresh ideas.

Anthony Hopkins and Chris Rock in a Jerry Bruckheimer buddy film? Why, it’s so crazy it just might work! It didn’t. 2 . 1 SPY It seems reasonable to assume this was 8. EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS intended to play as a straight action Since Screams David Arquette stars, laugher, as opposed to a genre spoof. If so, even a mission as routine as that some assumed this was a spoof of dopey monster movies. Nope. It was a proved impossible for this yawn-adopey monster movie. A freaking hor thon’s creators, crew and cast. rible one at that. 3. THE TIME MACHINE 9. DIE ANOTHER DAY Animator Simon Wells (great-grand son of old Herbert George) made his Deciding which of these final two was live-action debut with this update. If worse proved a herculean challenge. Both are derivative, tedious and ago this journey into the future is any measure of his talents, the young film nizingly pinheaded. On top of that, they’re essentially the same film. In the maker may not have much of one. end, I had to go with this as the lesser 4. ENOUGH of the two cinematic evils. At least the It’s come to this? Now we go to the makers of the 20th James Bond film movies to watch a young wife beaten up and tormented to the point where didn’t claim it was “a new kind of spy movie for a new generation.” she makes up her mind to pummel her abusive hubby into Puppy Chow? 10. XXX ...which the makers o( XXX did, every Is everybody having fun? chance they got. The truth, of course, 5. LIFE OR SOMETHING LIKE IT is that it’s just a dumb kind of spy What kind of a date movie was this? movie pandering to a dumbed-down One that will live in infamy. 6. FEAR DOT COM generation. Where’d Hollywood exec If William Malone’s cyberthriller were utives get the idea that audiences are yearning to relive the car chases, merely sick stuff, that would be bad enough. It’s also completely incoherent shoot-outs, gratuitous explosions and preposterous plots of moronic ’80s stuff, a pointless MarilyirManson action movies, anyway? Or that the video run amuck. Talk about a dot com failure.

» 46A

Harold Ramis

helms this sequel to his 1999 hit. This time around, it's Billy Crystal who needs a shrink and recently released ex-con Robert De Niro who strongarms him into getting help. Lisa Kudrow costars. (R)

BOWLING FOR COLUM BINE-****

his latest documentary, R oger & Me director Michael Moore chats it up with a series of colorful and gun-lov ing characters in his exploration of America's penchant for violence and firearms. (R)

DIE ANOTHER DAY*

Pierce Brosnan

stars in the 20th film in the James Bond series, a regulation affair that pits 007 against a mad military leader who's developed a doomsday device in his secret underground lair. Toby Stephens and Halle Berry costar. Lee Tamahori directs. (PG-13)

D R U M L IN E ***

Charles Stone directs

this teenathon set against the back drop of the high-energy, high-stakes world of show-style marching bands. Nick Cannon plays a talented Harlem street drummer who tries to fit in at a Southern university. Orlando Jones and Zoe Saldana costar. (PG-13)

8 M IL E **

Eminem makes the hop to

the big screen with the hip saga of a talented Detroit youth determined to rap his way out of his humble origins. Mekhi Phifer and Kim Basinger costar. Curtis Hanson directs. (R)

THE EMPEROR'S C L U B * * *

Kevin Kline

stars in the latest from director Michael Hoffman, the story of one

SHORTS » 45A

R A TIN G S

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

- refund, please ★ » could've been worse, but not a lot ★ ★ * has its moments; so-so ★ ★ * » smarter than the average bear ★ ★ ★ ★ » as good as it gets

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Slouching Toward Sundance n addition to critics picking the year’s best films and predicting the Oscar nomina tions, the end of 2002 invariably brings anticipation about Sundance. Once a cele bration of independent cinema, the annual Utah festival has become a ruthlessly com petitive ritual for Hollywood. Shoulder-toshoulder publicists and movie moguls stalk “product” on the streets of Park City for 10 days starting January 16. It’s almost impos sible for an ordinary bloke to attend a screening or get into a prestigious party. Nonetheless, the normally low-key John O ’Brien of Man with a Plan fame would have liked to have been there. The Tunbridge filmmaker and sheep farmer almost completed his long-anticipated Nosey Parker, but it was recently rejected by Sundance. Shot in 1997, the 105minute project concerns a suburban Connecticut couple who learn that Vermont really is for lovers when they build a splendid mansion and run into the no-nonsense approach of a town lister. “There’s a polish and gloss to the festival

of April, written and directed by Peter

Hedges. It’s also playing in Utah next month, and rumor has it that The Logger is planning to make the scene. • Burlingtonians have a new opportunity to enjoy big-screen fare that’s out of the ordinary. “Come deviate from mundane moviegoing,” proclaims a poster put out by Cinephilia, a 16mm film series that was launched this month on Friday the 13th. Until February, the event will be held at Church & Maple Gallery in the city’s South End. “We’re looking for a new space after that, because the gallery will be unavail able,” says Jerri Kohl, one of six organizers behind the endeavor. Bud Shriner, Cami Clark, Josh Bridgman, Jordan Gullikson and Anne Marie Lavalette are the others. “Our opening night was a success. There were only 25 chairs, but about 30 people showed up.” That evening the series, which repeats

"There's a polish and gloss to Sundance that I'm aggressively trying to avoid. But I'd like to take advantage of their branding." - VERMONT FILMAKER JOHN O ’BRIEN

that I’m aggressively trying to avoid,” O ’Brien acknowledges. “But I’d like to take advantage of their branding.” A Sundance imprimatur can lead to a distribution deal for regional pictures that might otherwise never reach a wider audi ence. O ’Brien struck gold in 1989, when his co-directed debut feature, The Big Dis, was accepted. Since the business is all about who you know, this time around he recruited endorsements from high-profile directors Miguel Arteta, John Sayles, Errol Morris and Michael Moore. “It wasn’t enough,” O ’Brien concedes. So he’ll apply to other fests — such as South by Southwest in Texas — and con tinue adding the finishing touches to Nosey Parker, a $200,000 effort that needs anoth er $50,000 before O’Brien can really call it a wrap. The Mudge Boy did make the cut for Sundance. Vermont native Michael Burke shot his low-budget picture last summer in Wallingford. Starring Emile Hirsch and Vincent D’Onofrio, the feature follows the shifting fortunes of a teen misfit with a pet chicken. A former special-education teacher, Burke’s been on a roll since his similarly themed short, Fish Belly White, won a prize at the Robert Redford extrava ganza in 1999. The Green Mountain States ubiquitous Rusty DeWees has a small role in Pieces

the same program five times over the course of a weekend, offered Shallow Grave, by Danny Boyle, and Return of the Living Dead, as well as shorts by stu dents and local filmmakers. The them? was “the horror, the horror.” Every cine matic outing will have a distinct motif. Apart from finding another location, Cinephilia’s greatest hurdle is letting the public know it exists. “To secure the rights for non-theatrical screenings, we are not allowed to really publicize the titles in advance,” Kohl explains. “We can only give enough information to entice people. Little teasers.” Consequently, Shallow Grave was pitched as “an edge-of-your-seat thriller from the director of Trainspotting — Boyle’s 1995 black comedy about Scottish smackheads. A bigger potential obstacle unfolded when the Cinephilia group went before the Burlington Zoning Board to iron out the logistics of turning a gallery into a tempo rary theater. “Hoyts tried to send someone to spy on the meeting,’ Kohl recalls. The cloak-and-dagger maneuver never happened, as it turns out. But why would the Australian corporation, with U.S. head quarters in Boston and two multiplexes in Chittenden County, be so paranoid about a tiny shoestring operation that has trouble rounding up enough chairs? ®

see

< sh O W tim es>

next p ag e

43A « SHQRTS man's journey from prep school student

Cinderella story o f a Chicago chamber

Stewart, Brent Spiner, Jonathan Frakes

to teacher. Based on a short story by

maid who falls in love with a wealthy

and the rest of the crew suit up to

Ethan Canin. With Rob Morrow and

guest. Ralph Fiennes costars. (PG)

Embeth Davidtz. (PG-13)

FAR FROM H E A V E N ****

Dennis

gang goes every few years. This time

Worlds collide when Nia Bardalos, as

around, they face off against old foes,

Quaid and Julianrte Moore are paired

the daughter of a Greek restaurant

the Romulans. Stuart Baird directs.

for this '50s-set drama about a couple

owner, falls for a WASP-y high school

(PG-13)

whose marriage is put to the test when

teacher played by John Corbett in this

the wife discovers her husband has

shoestring romantic comedy. (PG)

been hiding in the closet throughout

PUNCH-DRUNK L O V E * * * *

TREASURE P L A N E T ***

Emma

Thompson, David Hyde-Pierce and

Somebody

Martin Short head the voice cast in

their relationship. Todd Haynes directs.

check the Weather Channel and see if

Disney's animated sci fi take on the

(PG-13)

hell's frozen over. Adam Sandler is

Robert Louis Stevenson classic. (PG)

F R ID A Y - * - * 17* Salma Hayek portrays the

actually getting stellar reviews for his

troubled Mexican painter Frida Kahlo in

performance in the new film from

this biopic from director Julie Taymor.

M agnolia director Paul Thomas

Alfred Molina costars. (R)

Anderson, a dark comedy about a lone

FRIDAY AFTER NEXT*-*-’*

The third

ly businessman who winds up black

installment in Ice Cube's lucrative

mailed by a vicious phone-sex opera

Friday series, this one reteams the

tor. With Emily Watson and Philip Seymour Hoffman. (R)

actor-writer with DJ Pooh on the screenplay which tracks the further

THE R IN G **

Naomi Watts stars in this

For m ore film s at non-cinem a venues, see calendar, Section B.

N EW O N D VD /VH S THE COUNTRY BEARS**

Christopher

comic adventures of Craig and Day-Day

thriller about a reporter who makes the

Walken and Haley Joel Osment are

as they take jobs as mall security

mistake of getting personally involved

among the voice cast for this live-action

guards during the Christmas rush.

in a story about a mysterious video

Disney comedy about a musical act made

Marcus Raboy directs. Mike Epps

tape with the power to kill. Brian Cox

up of bears. Elton John, Don Henley and

costars. Gore Verbinski directs. (PG-13)

Willie Nelson have cameos. (G)

costars. (R)

HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS* ★ ★ Everybody's favorite

THE SANTA CLAUSE 2 * *

It's beginning

to look a lot like Tim Allen's career is

preteen wizard is back! This time

in big trouble. The comedian reprises the role that sleighed 'em back in '94,

rid his school of a new and mysterious

donning a beard and fat suit for the

wider audience with this big-screen saga in which he protects a croc that's

menace. Daniel Radcliffe, Emma

further adventures of Scott Calvin, who, this time around, is under the

Columbus directs. (PG)

gun to save Christmas by finding a

THE HOT C H IC K S

The latest from the

new king of dumb comedy, Rob Schnei

Crewson and Judge Reinhold costar.

der, tells the story of a popular high

Michael Lembeck directs. (G)

school girl who wakes up one morning

SIDDH ARTHA***1*

beacon from agents sent to recover it. Terri costars. (PG)

to find herself in the body of a 30-year-

film brings to the screen Hermann

old man. If you liked him as The A n i

Hesse's classic story of a young

mal, you're sure to love him as a cheer

Brahmin and his quest for a meaningful

leader. With Rachel McAdams. (PG-13)

way of life. Shot entirely in India by

JACKASS: THE M O V IE S

Johnny

hit in which ordinary people risk life

George Clooney.stars in

Steven Soderbergh's adaptation of scifi author Stanislaw Lem's novel about a psychologist who's sent to investi

vious difficulties in the romantic com

gate odd behavior onboard a space

edy department (see The Wedding

station and, on arrival, quickly begins

Planner — no, don't!) apparently did

behaving oddly himself. Natascha

n't deter her from taking another crack

McElhone costars. (PG-13)

at the genre. This time she stars in the

STAR TREK: N EM ESIS**1*

fs k in tj Duck Monas ~

stars in the latest from Steven

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MAID IN MANHATTAN*--*1* J.Lo's

Tom Cruise

tic Washington, D.C., where law

Nykvist. Starring Shashi Kapoor. (NR)

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Spielberg, a sci-fi saga set in a futuris

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THE CROCODILE HUNTER: COLLISION COURSE**1* Steve Irwin, star of the

around he reteams with old friends to

Watson and Rupert Grint star. Chris

Superstore

boldly go where, you know, the whole

MY BIG FAT GREEK W ED D IN G ***

on the wrong end of a prediction. Samantha Morton and Colin Farrell costar. (PG-13)

U N FA ITH FU L***1*

Richard Gere and

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46A I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

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43A

perfect hero for the new millen nium is a guy who’s got the screen presence of Andrew Dice Clay on steroids? Watching this left me baffled, half-deaf and fearful for the future of Western culture.

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Tom Cruise turned in a solid performance in Spielberg’s daz zling adaptation of the Philip K. Dick story. Well worth experi encing for its Kubrick-inspired visuals, provocative glimpses into the future, high-octane action and brain-teasing cosmic conun drums. 3. ABOUT A BOY The latest from pie defilers Paul and Chris Weitz represented a radical departure for the young codirectors in tone, subject mat ter and milieu. Newcomer Nicholas Hoult gave the most charismatic juvenile performance since Jonathan Lipnicki won over Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire. 4. ROAD TO PERDITION I’m not sure Sam Mendes’ film is the masterpiece so many review ers claimed, but it is very proba bly the most artful and earnest drama ever adapted from a comic book. Sorry — a graphic novel. 5. BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE Michael Moores rumination on Americas culture of firearms and fear may or may not be “the best documentary of all time,” as it was named recently, but it is by far the best where innovative documentary filmmaking is con cerned.

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paired James Spader with new comer Maggie Gyllenhaal for one \ of the most twisted love stories ] ever told. A deliciously witty, wonderfully insightful bit of business that put the fun back in L dysfunction, big-time. 7. TADPOLE One of the year’s most pleasant TH E TEN BEST surprises, Gary Winick’s conrung(from good to greatest) of-age comedy was an irresistible mix of Rushmore, Spanking the 1. WE WERE SOLDIERS Monkey and The Graduate, while How many Vietnam films have simultaneously something utterly you walked out of saying, “Hey, unique. More great lines per we really kicked butt over there?” screen minute than almost any l.i The latest from Randall Wallace, other movie I saw this year. 'i iif;

Music-video auteur turned fea ture director Mark Romanek made a most impressive debur with the saga of Sy Parrish, a character that merits a place among cinematic archetypes like Travis Bickle, Rupert Pupkin and $ Alex Forest. Robin Williams • gives the performance of his career. O ne\)f recent cinema’s saddest, most vivid portraits, and almost enough to make you for give the actor for crap like Mrs. Doubtfire and Patch Adams, 9. SOLARIS As reimagined and adapted for the screen by Steven Soderbergh, Polish novelist Stanislaw Lem’s 1961 sci-fi classic actually gains something in the translation. A spellbinding achievement that may well leave the author grum bling but will no doubt blow everyone else away. 10. PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE

The latest from Paul Thomas Anderson is a loopy cornucopia of sparklingly improbable moments you’ll find yourself eager to relive again and again. Sandler’s performance is nothing short of stunning, at once post modern and Chaplinesque. As magical a creation as I’ve come across at the movies in ages. Whether you’re a fan of Sandler or Anderson or not, my guess is you’ll fall in love with it, too. BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS OF 2002:

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D E C E M B E R 2 6 , 2 00 2 - J A N U A R Y 0 8 , 2003 V O L .08 N O .18

I SEVENDAYSVT.CO M

03B c a l e n d a r

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iob

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WELLNESS A A H H H H H ...

Om for the holidays.

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S U B M I S S I O N G U I D E L I N E S Seven Days accepts slides, hi-resolution digital files, and full-color reproductions of 2-dimensional artwork from Vermont artists for one-time, non-paying exhibition in the F R O N T P A G E G A L L E R Y of Section B. Submissions must be vertically oriented, non-originals no larger than 8 1/2" x 11". We will only return artwork that includes an SASE with the appropriate postage. Please include your name, address, phone number, title of the work, and medium. Send submissions to: SEVEN DAYS, c/o FPAG, PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402 or email to: display@sevendaysvt.com. No phone calls, please.

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THU 26 THU 02

FRI 27 SAT 28 FRI 03 SAT 04

SUN 29 SUN 05

calendar 033

MON 30 TUE 31 WED Ol MON 06 TUE 07 WED 08

FRI.27-SUN.29

NICE STORM

Paul Zaloom may be a renowned performance artist living in Los

X If?

*. ■

Angeles, but the Goddard grad still calls the Green Mountains home. The Emmy-winning politi cal satirist and junk puppeteer, best known as geeky TV-scientist Beakman, has been bringing his zany antics to Bread & Puppet for three decades. In "M ighty Nice," presented in three R-rated parts, Zaloom continues his tradition of putting on irreverent one-man shows using found objects. "The Punch and Jimmy Show" updates the puppet icons, with Punch becoming a gay bad-ass living with boyfriend Jimmy. DON'T is a mock D.A.R.E. presentation, while

2222 takes a rewed-up ride into the not- so-pretty future. "It's like a USO tour for the Left, to rally the troops," Zaloom reports from sunny L.A. "Everybody's bummed out about how every thing sucks, and what this is about is getting people to laugh at all the shit that's killin' 'em."

MIGHTY NICE.

F rid ay -

S u n d a y , D e c e m b e r 2 7 -2 9 . C ity H a ll A r ts Center, M o n tp e lie r, 8 p .m . (7 p .m . S u n d a y ) . $ 1 0 -1 5 . In f o , 2 2 9 -9 4 0 8 .

All submissions are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. Be sure to include the following in your email or fax: name of event, brief description, specific location, time, cost and contact phone number. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style.

submission guidelines M A IL :sevenda*s ,p°-B °xn < > 4 ,B urlington,vt0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 ^

FAX: 802-865-1015 v . E-MAIL: calendar@ sevendaysvt.com .

<calendar> Gabrielle Salerno

Listings by Calendar spotlights by

Tom H untington

04B j december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

'Q Scry Ccrn You 3 ? It’s ddjk-vu all over again. In 1983, when the Queen City took on the First Night tradition, frost-braving, substance-free revelers rang out a year that saw the invasion of Granada, the debut of cellphones and The Police promising to watch “Every Breath You Take.” Twenty years later, Burlington’s button-bearing, venue-hopping celebrants kiss goodbye a year when the country prepared to invade Iraq; police across the country really did seem to be watching every breath we took; and cellphones rang out at way too many perfor mances — like those on First Night. On that debut First Night, 6000 souls caught 40 hours of artful entertainment at 13 venues by 20 per formers. This year, around 25,000 people, including 1001 artists, are expected to participate in 200 hours of programming at 25 sites. Planners had hoped to mark this 20th celebration with a “special initiative,” says Associate Director Jimmy Swift. But the idea got scaled back by organiza

tional challenges — the non-profit went through three directors this year. In the end, Swift reports, “We decided to do what we do best: On with the show.” Look for an extra-special bash next year, when the sober New Years celebration reaches the legal drinking age of 21. “It’s going to be kind of neat,” Swift points out, “because it does relate to our message.” Which is? “It’s a celebration you’ll remember.” But first, let’s bring in 2003. Listen in as the Vermont Youth Orchestra performs a specially com missioned “fanfare” by Burlington composer Thomas Read. Get into the spirit of the 90-minute Gospel Extravaganza. Drop by a choreographed collaboration of able-bodied and disabled dancers called “Walking Wheels.” Or chill to the sound of the Zambonis. As always, all that and more comes to you with a single button. Oh yeah, and be sure to check out those buttons, which have morphed since last year: what goes ’round comes back in the shape of a rectangle.

C H O IC E V O IC E

Greg Douglass’ first CD, recorded when the Hyde Park singer-songwriter was all of 17, was appropriately titled I f I Were A Man. Two albums and four years later, Douglass is living in Northampton, Massachusetts, and blending his acoustic guitar and drop-dead gor geous voice with those of Jeremy Mendicino, a 2001 Burlington High graduate. Douglass’ third album, Teeter, is poised to go national, bringing his locally loved, introspective originals to the wider audience they deserve. Expect to hear these along with new numbers from a forthcoming release.

TUBA OR NOT TUBA?

The 20th First Night coincides with the 40th anniversary of the Vermont Youth Orchestra. How better to celebrate that convergence than by commis sioning a piece by Burlington composer and former VYO conductor Thomas Read? “We asked for a short ‘fanfare,’” says Troy Peters, who has for a long time wielded the baton for the symphony-in-training. But “the piece has more of a dance character.” Don’t expect pure party music. The Vermont Contemporary Music Ensemble violinist isn’t known as an easy Read. Also on the VYO docket: A concer to featuring Nicole Mongeon, a high school senior from Fairfax said to be the best tuba player in Vermont history. That’s oompah with oomph.

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PUCKHSADS

The Zambonis, poppunks premiere hockey rockers, reach fans all over the rink, from confirmed Stanley Cup coveters and armchair goalies to jaded joke-song afi cionados. The Fairfield, Connect icut, foursome even boasts a local connec tion: Burlington’s comics Superstar James Kochalka penned the lyrics to their 1999 hit, “Hockey Monkey.” Big Heavy World hosts the highsticking hipsters as part of a fourhour rock fest. Bring your helmet. There’s sure to be some face-offs. Memorial Auditorium, 9 p.m.

STAIRWAY TO HSAVSN

It worked for the Discover Jazz Festival. Now First Night’s catching the spirit with an all-gospel event even an infidel can appreciate. The program of praise features sermonizing songs by the year-old sevenmember Bluegrass Gospel Project, Tammy Fletcher and the Disciples and The Burlington Ecumenical Gospel Choir, an interdenominational ensemble with a sound as heavenly as its cross-cultural mis sion. The 90-minute show lets listeners hear the ensembles sitting in with each other and singing on their own before teaming up altogether for what should be one hell of a finale. Flynn Center, 6 & 11 p.m .

eooK^s

Storytelling has been a part of First Night from the start. But it wasn’t until this year that Joe Citro, local ghost master and host of “First Night Fiction,” realized . that telling scary stories around the turn of the year was a Victorian tradition. A Christmas Carol is, after all, one spooky tale. “I hope to add to the chills of a cold winter’s night,” says Citro. Winooski’s Jim DeFilippi joins his pal to spin a yarn of his own — from his forthcoming comic novel, which he describes as “kind of a Woody Allen-meets-John Grisham courtroom drama with buffoonery.”

AWD E A L IN G Ottawa-based Alan Shain gets around — in a wheelchair. The activist and dancer, who was born with cerebral palsy, has dedicated the last decade to smashing stereotypes about disabilities. He hopes to raise local consciousnesses with “Walking Wheels,” a five-person collaboration by differently abled performers. In the structured improvisation, “the wheelchair becomes an instru ment of the body,” Shain explains. “In a way I think peo ple’s view of disability will be transformed. Also people’s view of what dance is. Our dance is very playful, very energetic. Just people having fun together. Jumping around and rolling around.”

First Congregational Church, 4 & 10 p.m . «

Contois Auditorium, Burlington City Hall, 5 & 7 p.m.

W HSSUNG

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■ 06B I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

music NORTHERN WOMEN'S VOICES:

through the prehistoric world. Vergennes Opera

through the snow at Shelburne Farms, every half-

House, 2 p.m. $6. Info, 877-6737.

hour from 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. $7. Info, 985-8442.

You need only pipe up to join this fun, informal female singing

tionship between maternity and madness. Catamount Center for the Arts, St. Johnsbury,

group. Burlington, 6:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Info,

7 p.m. $6.50. Info, 748-2600.

drama

Bob Cratchit, Tiny Tim

and four ghostly visitors teach Ebenezer Scrooge the meaning of Christmas in a musical adaptation of the Victorian classic. Northern Stage does Dickens at the Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 2 & 7 p.m. $22-36. Info, 296-7000.

film

'STORM':

Activists stand

etc

'LOGGER' VARIETY SHOW:

Local "log ge r" and

impresario Rusty DeWees brings together some of

SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORY TIME: Tots get together to hear tall tales at the South Burlington Library. Babies to age 3, 10 a.m. Children 4 and over, 1 p.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. Pint-size bladers take to

the ice at Leddy Park Arena, Burlington, 10-11 Warren Miller's latest film features steep

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL:

the state's most entertaining musicians, poets and storytellers for an evening of Vermont vaude ville. Stowe High School, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 888917-8789.

CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM:

This Yuletide celebration features horse-drawn sleigh rides and a tour of the authentically decorated farmhouse

music dance

“7

See clubdates in Section A.

DANCE SOCIAL:

Singles and couples of all ages learn the basics of ballroom, swing and Latin dancing. Oazzercize Studio, Williston, 7 p.m. $10. Info, 862-2207.

drama

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL':

See December 26, 7 p.m.

and dairy. Billings Farm & Museum, Woodstock,

a.m. $5. Info, 865-7558.

'DINOMAN IN DINOLAND':

3 o

r r x l . z

Burlington, 5 p.m. Free. Info, 863-2345, ext. 5.

kids

'ITTY BITTY SKATING':

r ~ r 3

against terrorism. Top of Church Street,

See exhibitions in Section A.

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL':

activism

together in opposition to violence and the war

art

899-2867.

Families and friends go dashing

"D inom an" takes children on a scientific romp

performances from some ptf the world's mosjt^ accomplished skiers and snowboarders. Vermont Ski Museum, Stowe, 7 p.m. $5. Info, 253-9911. 'ALIAS BETTY': Adapted from a novel entitled The Tree o f Hands, this French film explores the rela

Also, see clubdates in Section A.

SLEIGH RIDES:

chutes, towering cornices, fresh powder and solid

10 a.m. - 3 p.m. $9. Info, 457-2355.

Paleo performer

*, ti

MALL SANTA

University Mall, South Burlington, Monday, D ecem ber 9, 1PM B u sin e ss w as slow o n a cold M onday a fte rn o o n in S ou th

"Yeah, you. W hy d o n 't yo u com e on over and tell Santa

Burlington, and Santa looked thin. Plastic elves with their

w hat yo u w ant for C h ristm a s?"

eyes rolled to the ceiling, looking like they w ished they were

She sm iled, nodded her head and walked away.

som ewhere else, were positioned here and there am id cotton

Since I w as the o nly one left, he approached me and put

and a fake Christm as tree. There was no line, only mothers

out his hand. "You're looking kind of thin th is year," I said.

interm ittently sto pp ing by to get a photo of their toddlers

"Well, you know, yo u've g o t fat tim es and th in times. I'm

with the King of Holidays himself. $10.99 to $44.99 a portrait,

ho p in g to get up to 4 0 0 pounds before the big day. You've got

depending on the size desired.

to balance out th a t sleigh, yo u know ."

I th o u g h t th is seem ingly corporate operation was sort of

He sounded Canadian. I asked him w hat the kids were ask in g for th is year.

depressing until I saw the man in action. Santa posed for a few snapshots w hile his helpers rang sleigh bells and made

'T h e usual Barbie, Nintendo* stuff yo u can get at tij&jBall-

spastic faces to attem pt to make one tyke and his older broth

Save s me som e work. W hat do you w ant for C h ristm a s?" He

er smile. He handed the baby to his brother after the shoot,

grinned.

but struggled when the rascal go t tangled in the long, m angy

I knew w hat I wanted, but pretended to be thoughtful

fur h anging from Santa 's chin. A little m agical finger work

ab ou t it. "A girlfriend," I said.

freed the boy.

"L e t me see w hat I can d o ." Santa started w alking around

"H o, ho, Merry Christm as!" St. Nick looked around, hoping

fla g g in g dow n mall chicks, until a yo u n gste r w anting a snap

to seduce passersby into the photo pit. There were no children

sh o t interrupted his hustling.

in the premises, but that d id n 't daunt ol' Kris Kringle.

"D o n 't you worry," Santa called out as I started to walk

"You there," he pointed to an old woman and waved her over.

away. "I'm here until four."

" M e ? " she asked.

—

B rooke Clover

PHOTO: MATTHEW THORSEN

NOW PLAYING CALL FOR TIMES

135 P E A R L P R E S E N T S

CHICAGO TRIBUNE

LYRIC

"PROVOCATIVE"

T H E A T R E CO M PA NY

INCENDIARY -MICHAEL WILMINGTON,

SHINY

-KENNETH TURAN,

Announces events related to our April 2003 production of the musical based on the beloved children’s story by Frances Hodgson Burnett —

LOS ANGELES TIMES

WINNER

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TUESDAY

Kick-Off/Informational Meeting

January 2nd, 7 p.m., South Burlington High School Special Vocal Auditions for Children’ s Roles baby-friendly MATINEES

BABES IN A R M S MONDAYS @ 1:30 T h e r e ’s M o o r e to THAN BARNEY

life

Savoy Theater

2 6 M ain S t/M o n tp e iie r /2 2 9 -0 5 0 9 w w w .sa v o y tn ea te r .co m

13$ pi5orI s i burlrxjfoo. vC*Y

80&S632343 vA*w,l3$p<oricom

Auditions for Adult Roles/Children’ s Callbacks

Jandary 6th-9 th, 6- 10 p.m., South Burlington High School

oles for 19 adults (stage age 15-55+) and 6 youth (stage age 10) with acting, dancing/m ovem ent, and singing abilities. Auditionees should plan to arrive at the designated start tim es and stay for the afternoon/ evening. Scripts available for perusal at most libraries in C hittenden County. Bring along your own cassette player if you wish to listen to musical selections. O pportunities for many behind-the-scenes creative and technical roles. G enerous support for the show provided by 4 Seasons Garden Center and University M all. Call 802/658-1484 for info or check the Lyric Theatre Com pany web site for details:

www.lyrictheatrevt.org

A b se n ce makes the heart grow fonder

SEVEN DAYS wmhave. new

January 5th, .10 a.m. - 4 p.m., Champlain Senior Center

issue

january 8,

SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I calendar 07B

THU 2 6

FRI 2 7

SAT 2 8

film

MON 3 0

and abilities mingle in motion at Jazzercise

'STORM': See December 26. 'IN PRAISE OF LOVE': This film

tells the story of a young Parisian artist who struggles to be with a

Jewish woman during the Holocaust. Catamount Center for the Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $ 6 .5 0 .' Info, 748-2600.

art

Studio, Taft Corners, Williston, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 862-2207.

CONTRADANCE: Just do-si-do it. Swing your partner at Holley Hall, Bristol, 8 p.m. $6. Info,

kids

WINTER ADVENTURE:

drama

Youngsters between 5

and forests around Shelburne Farms, 9:30 a.m. 2:30 p.m. $25. Info, 985-8686.

sport

See December 26.

film

December 27, 7 & 9

p.m.

art

Move over, Michael Jordan. Men over 35 prove they can still get around on the court. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 6:45-9:45 p.m. Free. $500 per team. Info, 864-0123.

activism

PAUL ZALOOM:

World" performs satirical skits about the prison profiling and the Log Cabin Republican Club. City Hall Arts Center, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $15. Info, 229-9408.

etc

'LOGGER' VARIETY SHOW: See December 26. CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM: See December 26.

See December 26.

Parents and kids participate in fun

December 27.

kids

'ITTY BITTY SKATING': See December 26. WINTER ADVENTURE: See December 27.

sport

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL:

TIME TRAVEL AT ETHAN ALLEN HOME STEAD: See December 28.

SLEIGH RIDES:

SLEIGH RIDES: See December 26. VIENNESE EVENING: Soprano Jody Sheimbaum,

Mountain

Club leads old-fashioned skiers on a lift-less climb up Pico Peak. Meet at UVM metered parking lot near the water tower, Burlington. Free. Info, 849-

'DIE FLEDERMAUS': December 27, 7 p.m.

etc

Also, see clubdates in Section A. The local torch songstress

DENISE WHITTIER:

SUN.29 music

lays down live tracks in a cabaret performance that doubles as a recording session. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 7 & 9 p.m. $10. Info, 863-5966.

dance

A company of local singers

takes on Johann Strauss' comic opera in an inti mate, Old World setting. Vergennes Opera House, 8 p.m. $30. Info, 877-6737.

'LOGGER' VARIETY SHOW: See December 26. CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM: See December 26.

SLEIGH RIDES:

music Also, see clubdates in Section A.

drama

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL':

See December 26, 2 p.m.

See December 26.

sport

dance. Paramount Theatre, Rutland, 7 p.m. $65.

music

See December 26.

per team. Info, 864-0123.

PICO PEAK HIKE & SKI: The Green

baritone Robert Gardner and pianist Craig Ketter lend Austrian atmosphere to a dazzling dinnerInfo, 775-5413.

See

December 26.

Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, 4-8 p.m. $475

PAUL ZALOOM: See

December 26.

etc

CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM:

activism

etc

See December 26.

Female ath letes hoop it up in a friendly competition at

6493.

'LOGGER' VARIETY SHOW: See December 26. CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM: See

activism

Burlington, 8-10 p.m.

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL LEAGUE:

Burlington, 2 p.m. $5. Info, 865-4556.

See December 27.

art See exhibitions in Section A.

kids

back to the 18th century to learn how frontier

PAUL ZALOOM:

This German sci-fi classic presents

Info, 748-2600.

art

families cooked meals. Ethan Allen Homestead,

activism

'METROPOLIS':

an extreme view of class warfare. Catamount Center for the Arts, St. Johnsbury, 7 p.m. $6.50.

See December 27, Memorial Auditorium,

TIME TRAVEL AT ETHAN ALLEN HOME STEAD: Little ones and their parents "travel"

See December 26.

film

activities at the Pine Forest Children's Center, Burlington, 9:30-11 a.m. Free. Info, 652-5138.

The man behind "Beakm an's

industry, gay adoption, religious hypocrisy, racial

SLEIGH RIDES:

kids

PLAYGROUP:

film

drama

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL':

'OLDIE BUT GOODIE' BASKETBALL LEAGUE:

See exhibitions in Section A.

'OLDIE BUT GOODIE' BASKETBALL LEAGUE:

01-

See exhibitions in Section A.

'STORM': See December 26. 'IN PRAISE OF LOVE': See

and 12 spend a wintry day exploring the fields

w ed

TUE 31

'STORM': See December 26. TN PRAISE OF LOVE': See

524-1466.

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL':

See exhibitions in Section A.

SUN 2 9

music

'LAST RUN':

The Shelburne Athletic Club leaves the old year in the dust with a 5-kilometer run

See clubdates in Section A.

departing from the Town Green, Shelburne,

drama

12:45 p.m. Free. Info, 985-2229.

'A CHRISTMAS CAROL':

See December 26, 7 p.m.

See clubdates in Section A.

DANCE SOCIAL:

Singles and couples of all ages

TUE.31 » 08B

E x p lo r e

th e

J ANUARY Thursday 5:30 - 7:00pm

p o s s ib ilit ie s .

427A W a te rm a n Building

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Exploring College A Workshop for Adults

Looking for e m p lo y e e s ? Looking for w o rk ? Lo ok no further.

Find out more about the many opportunities for returning to college at the University o f Vermont. Learn about academic programs, financial aid, transferring previous credits, admission requirements and registration. Meet with other adult students. Call 8 0 0 -6 3 9 -3 2 10 or 656-2085 to register for this free workshop.

The

UNIVERSITY of VERMONT

C O N T IN U IN G E D U C A T IO N

08B I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

TUE.31 « 07B

etc

CHRISTMAS AT BILLINGS FARM:

drama

'DAMN YANKEES' AUDITION:

See

December 26.

SLEIGH RIDES: See December 26. NEW YEAR'S EVE DINNER-DANCE:

kids

Adults audition

for roles in an upcoming Essex Community Players production about a man who sells his soul to the devil in order to see his favorite baseball team

Chow

down to country music by the Conrad Samuels

win. Memorial Hall, Essex, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 864-4872.

Band while you raise money for the Committee on Temporary Shelter. 194 St. Paul St.,

'THE SECRET GARDEN' MEETING:

Theatrical

Burlington, 6 p.m. $50. Info, 864-9414.

folk meet members of the production team, learn

Ring in the new year at a community-based, substance-free cele

about the audition process and register to try out for Lyric Theater's upcoming production. S. Bur

bration of the performing arts. Various venues,

lington High School, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1484.

BURLINGTON FIRST NIGHT:

film

downtown Burlington, noon - midnight. $10. Info, 863-6005.

FIRST NIGHT MONTPELIER:

Local musicians,

dancers, storytellers, magicians and comics con vene for a family-friendly, year-end bash. Various venues, downtown Montpelier, 3 p.m. - midnight. $7. Info, 229-9408.

'METROPOLIS':

art

music

'ITTY BITTY SKATING': See December 26. HOMESCHOOLER'S STORYTIME: Stay-at-home

activism

See December 30.

art

SLEIGH RIDES:

December 26.

See December 26.

start with a resolution-making 5-kilometer run.

etc

SLEIGH RIDES:

mmmsm g 1

See

«p

H U .O

music

Also, see clubdates in Section A.

NORTHERN WOMEN'S VOICES: See December 26.

etc

. 0

music

See clubdates in Section A.

SLEIGH RIDES: See

December 26.

art drama

'MUSIC MAN' AUDITIONS:

iK I.U o

music dance

See clubdates in Section A.

DANCE SOCIAL: See

Players production. Barre Opera House. Children, A perennial favorite in the

After Dark Music Series combines hot Southern soul and deep, cool blues in observant songs about life on and off the road. United Methodist Church, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $16-18. Info,

DAMN YANKEES AUDITION: See January 2.

art -

kids

THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR' & 'THE VERY QUIET CRICKET : Nova Scotia's Mermaid Theatre Company brings Eric Carle's popular pic

Formerly of viperHouse, composer and trum peter Brian Boyes leads the horn-driven ensemble

ture books to life using fluorescent puppets, black lights and music. Flynn Center, Burlington,

art

p.m. $9.50-14.50. Info, 863-5966. Boys and

upcoming production of The Secret Garden. S. Burlington High School, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1484.

kids

PLAYGROUP:

sport

'OLDIE BUT GOODIE' BASKETBALL LEAGUE: See December 28.

sport

See December 27, Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, 8-10 p.m.

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL LEAGUE:

GREEN MOUNTAIN CLUB CROSS-COUNTRY SKIERS: Nordic skiers take to the trails with the Free. Info, 229-9851.

etc

CAT SHOW:

'SECRET GARDEN' AUDITIONS:

girls ham it up for roles in Lyric Theater's

Montpelier section of the Green Mountain Club.

drama

12:30 p.m. Adults, 4:30 p.m. Free. Info, 229-3228.

388-0216.

TALA:

Stowe Mountain Resort Touring Center, 9 a.m. December 27.

Wannabe residents of

River City compete for parts in the upcoming Barre

See exhibitions in Section A.

Get the new year off to a healthy

Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, 9:30 a.m. Free. Info, 864-0123.

See December 27.

$14. Info, 863-5966.

etc

sport

'FIRST RUN':

'OLDIE BUT GOODIE' BASKETBALL LEAGUE:

characterized by jazz, Afro-Cuban and Asian musi cal influences. FlynnSpace, Burlington, 8 p.m.

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See

See exhibitions in Section A.

S U N

CHRIS SMITHER:

learners socialize over stories at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

'METROPOLIS':

sport

music

See December 26.

film

Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

Also, see clubdates in Section A.

SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORY TIME:

See clubdates in Section A.

Kids sing

along with Robert Resnik and his fiddle-playing friend Gigi Weisman. Fletcher Free Library,

Place bids to

benefit your four-legged friends. Sheraton Inn and Conference Center, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 893-6270.

See exhibitions in Section A.

kids

'MUSIC WITH ROBERT AND GIGI':

See December 30.

See exhibitions in Section A.

¥V E D

HUMANE SOCIETY AUCTION:

See

December 29.

GREEN MOUNTAIN CLUB SNOWSHOE:

Take a snowy romp to the Bamforth Ridge Shelter with the Montpelier section of the Green Mountain Club. 9 a.m. Free. Info, 223-3935.

GREEN MOUNTAIN CLUB HIKE:

The

Burlington section of the Green Mountain Club leads a frozen foray along the Nebraska Notch Fancy felines comoete for best of

breed and participate in a parade featuring all the categories. Sheraton In n and Conference Center, Burlington, 11 a.m. $6. Info, 893-6270.

Trail. Meet at UVM metered parking lot near the water tower, Burlington. Free. Info, 872-0042.

etc

SLEIGH RIDES:

See exhibitions in Section A.

See December 26.

20%-50%

off

m o s t ite m s .

December 26 January 5, 2003 Sale includes Shelburne Farms Cheddar Cheese.

1611 I Iarbor Road Shelburne, VT 985-8442

Special on Shelburne Farms 2 0 0 3 Calendar: $ 5 . 0 0 ! No other discounts apply. —

...

-ij,

SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I calendar 09B .

TUE 31

•• •_______________"____ -___.__

WED 01

THU 0 2

SUN 0 5

9:30 p.m. $4. Info, 879-7618.

8 a.m. - 3 p.m. Free. Info, 893-1738.

'FOREST AND FUNGUS': Three body-sculpting

/■ ■ %.

dance companies that sprang forth from Dartmouth — Pilobolus, Momix and BodyVox —

$35. Info, 603-646-2422.

drama

'SECRET GARDEN' AUDITIONS:

'MUSIC MAN' AUDITIONS: Adults try out at 6 p.m.

'SECRET GARDEN' AUDITIONS:

Adults sing and

dance for a role in Lyric Theater's upcoming pro duction of The Secret Garden. S. Burlington High

See January 6.

art

words

Bring pencil,

kids

students take a hands-on look at animal mounts, skins and skulls and learn about the winter adap tations of local critters. Montshire Museum of Science, Norwich. Ages 6-9, 1-2:15 p.m. Ages 912, 2:30-3:45 p.m. $7. Info, 649-2200.

See

December 26.

sport

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL LEAGUE:

Ladies take .

See January 6.

fppftit# leads to a timeless trail cion . The Very Quiet Cricket needs the

lectures

'WOMEN IN WINTER' SERIES:

help of a tdvely lady^o V in l| !n S ^ 1 ^ 5 song. Both of the beloved m Carle ^ Outdoorswomen

trekking. Green Mountain Club Headquarters, Waterbury Center, 6:30-9 p.m. $12. Info, 244-7037, ext. 23.

tales are "filled Jvith all manner o f| l§ whimsical insects; trees and a smiling sun and moon," offers the Los Angt Times. "Each is a quiet d e lig M S g

I K

through 5 dance and play at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m. Free. Info,

5. Flynn Center, Burlington, 2 p.m. $9.5(

865-7216.

14.50. Info, 863-5966. t

WESTFORD LIBRARY PLAYGROUP:

Children

gather for games, songs and stories at the Westford Library, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 878-5639.

activism

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL:

See December 26.

U.S. invasion of Iraq strategize at the Peace and 863-2345, ext. 5.

Guys gather for

barbershop singing and quartetting at St. Francis Xavier School, Winooski, 7-9:30 p.m. Free. Info,

etc

Novice and fluent French speakers

practice and improve their language skills — en

860-6465.

dance

MEDITATION GROUP: Yogis

engage in Tibetan

Buddhist-style meditation and dharma study at the Union Street Studio, Burlington, 7:30-

PAUSE CAFE:

frangais. Borders Cafe, Burlington, 6 p.m. Free.

Info, 655-1346.

9:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 859-9270. Pick up new and used

BOOK & MUSIC FAIR:

Jewish reads and recordings at Temple Sinai, S. Burlington, 9:30-11:30 a.m. Free. Info, 862-5125. ®

Movers of all ages and abili

ties dance at the Greek Orthodox Church, Burlington, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $3. Info, 860-7501.

s e

THE VERY H U N G RY C A T E R P IL L A R & T H E V E R Y Q U I E T C R IC K E T iS u n d a y , January

Justice Center, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info,

Also, see clubdates in Section A.

GREEN MOUNTAIN CHORUS:

activism

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See December 26. ANTI-WAR COALITION: Citizens opposed to the

T U E .0 7 music

drama

'MOVING & GROOVING': Youngsters ages

7-8 p.m. Free. Info, 878-1375. December 26.

See January 7.

kids

See December 26.

'MUSIC WITH ROBERT AND GIGI':

Albert D. Lawton School Gym, Essex Junction,

BURLINGTON PEACE VIGIL: See

dance

The magic o f metamorphosis and other metaphors found in the natural world are often lost in the modern shuffle. Bi Nova Scotia's Mermaid Theatre Company

learn all they need to know about cold-weather

part in fast breaks, foul shots and fun at the

activism

SU N .05

See exhibitions in Section A.

SOUTH BURLINGTON LIBRARY STORY TIME:

'ITTY BITTY SKATING': See December 26. SCIENCE FOR HOMESCHOOLERS: Stay-at-home

d distinctive "soundscapes. In lungry Caterpillar, an in

Planet, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 863-4231.

kids

W music

See exhibitions in Section A.

paper and the will to be inspired to the Daily

See exhibitions in Section A.

L L J *U u

'SECRET GARDEN' AUDITIONS:

BURLINGTON WRITERS' GROUP:

School, 6-10 p.m. Free. Info, 658-1484.

TUE 0 7 • WED 0 8

'FOREST AND FUNGUS':

art

See January 5.

•j

See clubdates in Section A.

break boundaries between gymnastics, theater and dance. Hopkins Center, Hanover, N.H., 8 p.m.

See clubdates in Section A.

MON 0 6

Anyone with the

will to jig can learn lively, traditional steps at the First Congregational Church, Essex Junction, 7:30-

stuff at the American Legion's indoor showroom, Milton,

SWING DANCING:

SAT 0 4

SCOTTISH COUNTRY DANCE:

CAT SHOW: See January 4. FLEA MARKET: Shop for secondhand

music

FRI 0 3

V'",___

s h o p f o r th e b e st d e a l o n y o u r M a c in to s h c o m p u te r,

th e n com e to us f o r S e rvice . At Darrad Services, we stand behind every M a c that we repair with a full one year warranty, and so m e of the best tech support in the business. If you have a problem, we can fix it. W hether you are looking to buy, sell or repair your equipment, Darrad Services is Vermont’s M a c Solution. W e provide upgrades, trade ins and the m ost skilled repair technicians in the area. W e will even help you get connected - either to the internet, or a com pany wide intranet. In short, if it s a y s Mac, or is compatible with the Mac, w e’re the experts. If you are looking for a M ac, please take the time to sh op around for the best deal, and when you need so m e help, com e to the place that’s helping to m ake a difference. At Darrad Services, we don’t just sell M acintosh computers, we sell M a c solutions.

E s ta b lis h e d 1 9 9 2

Darrad Services Inc.

www.darrad.com 4457 Main Street, Waitsfield, VT 05673 802-496-2772-fax496-2773

10B I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

Jess Campisi.

$15per week $50for four weeks.

are written by Class listings are or All class listings must be pre-paid and are subject to editing for space and style. Send info with check or complete credit-card information, including exact name on card, to: Classes, SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164.

bartending

PROFESSIONAL TRAINING:

enced m overs/dancers who wish to deepen their

Day, evening and week

end courses. Various locations. Info, 888-4DRINKS or bartendingschoql.com. Get certified to make a m ean martini, margarita, m anhattan or m a i tai.

business

START UP:

Six-week session begins

session. Info, 862-9033 or www.HollywoodStyle

Classes now forming for 10-hour series. Four-week evening series or eight-week lunchtime series. Burlington. $175. To register,

Swing.com. Dancer Brandy Anderson teaches stu dents how to swing. VDA DANCESPORT TEAM: Training sessions in

call Nan Reid, 660-0420. Learn self-hypnosis a n d

Ballroom and Latin for Junior through Senior

sum m on y o u r natural birthing instincts.

DanceSport athletes. Vermont DanceSport Academy, Mann Hall, Trinity College campus,

craft

Burlington. Prices vary. Registration, 846-7236 or

PAINTING CERAMICS:

Ongoing classes. Blue Plate

Ceramic Caf§, 119 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, 652-0102. Learn the fu ndam entals o f p a int ing ceramics to create gifts a n d other treasures.

dance

BALLROOM & LATIN DANCE LESSONS:

www.vermontdancesportacademy.com. Learn the art a n d sport o f ballroom da n cin g a n d develop you r skills fo r beginner through cham pionship competi tion levels.

drumming

BEGINNING CONGA & DJEMBE: Ongoing

One date left this

year, December 11. Conga, 5:30-7:00 p.m.

private and group lessons available. Vermont

Djembe, 7:15-8:45 p.m. Taiko Studio, 208 Flynn

DanceSport Academy, Mann Hall, Trinity College

Ave., Burlington. $12. Call for location. Info,

campus, Burlington. $8-15/class. Intro through

658-0658. Stuart Paton m akes instruments avail

advanced. Registration, 846-7236 or www.ver montdancesportacademy.com. Learn the basics or

able in this upbeat drum m ing class.

BEGINNING TAIKO:

Six-week sessions beginning

refine y o u r skills at Burlington's prem ier ballroom

Monday, January 6: Kids Beginner Class, 3:30 p.m.

location.

$42. Adult Beginner Class, 5:30 p.m. $48. Adult Intermediate Class, 7 p.m. $48. Six-week session beginning Tuesday, January 14: Kids and Families Beginner Class, 4:30-5:30 p.m. $42A id s,

BODY AWARENESS: Wednesdays, January

through May 7, 3-5:45 p.m. CCV, Burlington. Registration begins January 6. Info, 865-4422. This class develops the posture an d m ovem ent o f

$48/adults. Six-week session beginning Thursday,

the body through exam ination a n d a variety o f

January 9: Adult Beginner Class, 5:30-7 p.m. $48.

body awareness techniques. Three-credit class.

Taiko Studio, 208 Flynn Ave., Burlington. Stuart

CVU DANCE CLASSES:

Four- and five-week courses.

Beginning Line Dancing: Tuesdays beginning

Paton, 658-0658, paton@sover.net or Ed Leclair, 425-5520, edaiko@ aol.com , or Harry Grabenstein,

January 14, 6:30-7:30 p.m. $40, $35/students.

878-5619. Experience the pow er o f Taiko-style

Beginning Salsa & Latin Ballroom: Wednesdays,

drumming.

beginning January 15, 6-7:10 p.m. $40, $30/students. Swing Dance: Wednesdays, beginning 7:158:30 p.m. $40, $30/students. Hip-Hop Dance Class: Tuesdays beginning January 14, 4-5 p.m. $50, $35/students.; Hip-Hop II, The Next Steps: Tuesdays, beginning January 14, 5:10-6:10 p.m.

fiber & surface design

DECORATIVE PAINTING WITH GINNY JOINER:

$50, $35/students. CVU High School, Hinesburg.

Beginning January 7, Tuesdays, 12-2:30 p.m.

Pre-register, limited class size, 482-7194 or

Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info,

eddie@cvuhs.org., www.cvuhs.org. CVU offers fu n

985-3648. Transform a sm all piece o f furniture or

a n d easy dance classes f o r all ages a n d levels.

a w ood object with surface-design painting.

FLYNNARTS DANCE:

Spring semester begins

Stud ents will complete a fin ish e d pa inted piece

January 20. For more info on FlynnArts classes for

su ch as a box, stool, or sm all table. The class will

all ages, call 652-4548 or visit www.flynncenter.org. Classes include: Creative

pa in te d furniture fo r background a n d inspiration.

Movement, D ance Makers, Modern Dance, Children's

also tour the Shelburne M useum 's collection o f

FREE WEAVING DAY:

Saturday, January 11, 10 a.m.

Ballet, Ballet f o r Ic e Skaters, Hip-Hop a n d m aster

- 3 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne

classes.

Village. Free. Pre-register, 985-3648. Artist Shari

FUNDAMENTALS OF JAZZ DANCE:

Mondays,

M cM ahon will n avigate students through the steps involved in w eaving cloth u sin g various types o f

January 27 through May 5, 6:15-9 p.m. CCV, Burlington. Registration begins January 6. Info,

looms. B e g in n in g in February, we will offer weaving

865-4422. This class is an introduction to ja z z

studio introduction a n d open studio.

dance techniques, aesthetics a n d theory.

LEARN TO DANCE:

Four-week Rhythm dance class

fine arts

DRAWING FROM THE MODEL - UNINSTRUCTED:

p.m. FlynnCenter, Burlington. 530. For more info

es, beginning Monday, January 6: Beginning

on this event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4500 or visit www.flynncenter.org.

Rhythm: Rumba/Cha Cha/Merengue, 7 p.m.;

Eight weeks beginning January 9, Thursdays, 6:308:30 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Bring y o u r pencils, charcoal conte crayons or paints a n d work from the model to prac

duction to the theoretical an d practical principles

Led by Quick Lime performer Van Hut, the work

Intermediate Rhythm: Rumba/Cha Cha/Bolero, 8 p.m. Four-week Smooth dance classes, beginning

o f the craft o f acting. Three-credit class.

sh o p will investigate the techniques a n d ph iloso

Tuesday, January 7: Beginning Smooth:

phies o f Hollandia's signature style by exploring

Waltz/Foxtrot/ Tango,

tice yo u r h a n d a nd eye fusion. Gesture, short and

the fu sio n o f m usic a n d p sychological characteriza

7 p.m. Intermediate Smooth: Waltz/Foxtrot/Tango,

long poses, as the group wishes. Call to register fo r

January 6. Info, 865-4422. This class is an intro

ACTING WORKSHOP: HOLLYWOOD COMES TO VERMONT: December 26, 27, 28 & 29. Three

30-

hour workshops: High School, Middle School, Grades 3-5. The Old Lantern, Charlotte. $200. Pre register, 482-2076. Rebecca Harrell, star o f Prancer, A Piece of Eden, Suspended Animation, Man of the Year, Saint Sinner an d num erous televi

tion; im age a n d sou nd; construction a nd decon

8 p.m. Champlain Club, 20 Crowley St., Burling

the series or share y o u r card with a fellow artist if

struction o f form ; a n d the influence o f live m usi

ton. $40/person/class, no partner required. Info,

y o u cannot make it to each session.

cians on theater pieces.

WEEKEND WORKSHOP FOR WRITERS 8c PERFORMERS WITH JANICE PERRY: 'The

802-598-6757 or www.FirstStepDance.com. Extend y o u r da n cin g into new areas o r begin learning to dance with nationally certified dance instructor Kevin Laddison.

FIGURE AND PORTRAIT DRAWING:

Wednesday

evening classes beginning January 8. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648.

sio n and stage appearances will be here with her

Constructed Self," Saturday, January 25, and

sta ff o f professional Hollyw ood actors to share

Sunday, January 26, 12:30-4:30 p.m. Flynn

their insights

Center, Burlington. $80. For adults, limit 15. Pre

Mondays, 7 p.m. Church & Maple Gallery,

coal a n d color pqstels. In d ivid u a l instruction a n d

into m aking stage a n d screen acting a career.

registration required. For more info on this event

Burlington. $60/six-week session, $12/class or

critique will facilitate each stu dent's progress.

Workshops will end with a video-taped performance

or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-

two-for-one if you bring a new participant. Info,

in fro n t o f a live audience.

4500 or visit www.flynncenter.org. Join interna

985-8261. Marcela Pino show s beginner a n d inter

tionally acclaim ed performer a n d Fullbright theater

mediate dancers how to com bine m odern-dance

Tuesday afternoons, beginning January 7.

technique a n d improvisation.

Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info,

FLYNNARTS ACTING: Spring

*!'■

as a rem edy fo r the cold Vermont winter.

Sunday, January 5, 5-6 p.m. $50/person for entire

HYPNOBIRTHING:

6:15-9 p.m. CCV, Burlington. Registration begins

$35/person/4-week group session, $10/class. Info, 864-7953 or www.energyinaction.com/vermontsalsadancecompany. Enjoy hot salsa da n rin g

SWING DANCE LESSONS:

childbirth

January 30 through May 8,

New four-week session in Cuban-

Champlain Club, Burlington. No partner necessary.

Women's Small Business Program,

ness skills as y o u write a business plan.

acting

SALSA DANCING:

els to choose from. Monthly practice sessions.

with grants available. Call now for application and interview times, 846-7338. Learn valuable bu si

ACTING I: Thursdays,

develop a n d refine their individual creative expression.

style SaL>a begins Thursday, January 9. Three lev

February 6 through May 18. Burlington. $1250,

FLYNNARTS ACTING WORKSHOP WITH HOLLANDIA THEATER: Saturday, January 18, 11 a.m. - 2

knowledge o f personal m ovem ent patterns and

semester beginning

January 20. For more info on these or other

specialist Janice Perry at this page-to-stage work

FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4500 or

shop fo r writers a n d performers. This workshop

visit www.flynncenter.org. Classes include: Creative

expands writing a n d perform ance skills through the

Drama, Play Makers, Actor's Tools, Actor's Process,

creation a n d transform ation o f original, autobio

Im p rov Ensemble, B eg in n in g A cting & Improv,

graphically ba sed text, including m onologue, d ia

Acting Lab, Playreading in the Gallery, Stage

logue, a n d ensem ble work.

Combat and Weekend Workshops.

MODERN DANCE/IMPROV CLASSES: Ongoing

MOVEMENT LAB HOLIDAY SESSION WITH SARAH McMAHON: December 21, 28, January 4, 18, 11 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. $60. For more info on this event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or visit Www.flynncenter.org. A unique class f o r experi

Learn to draw the h u m an figu re from a live model u sin g materials su ch as pencils, conte crayon, char

Materials, except f o r paper, are included.

OIL/ACRYLIC PAINTING:

Advanced Level I class,

985-3648. Em pha sis will be placed on the p a inting process, a n d color m ixing a n d see in g ski lb will be honed. This class will a b o include group critiques, draw ing a n d creativity exercises.

WATERCOLOR:

Classes for all levels beginning January 8. Shelburne^ft School, Shelburne

-.1

SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 1 classes 11B

Village. Info, 985-3648. Whether yo u 're a beginner

January 15, 3-5 p.m. Shelburne Craft School,

Rd., Colchester. First class free. Info, 893-8893.

20. For more info on this event or other FlynnArts

or w anting to further explore this medium, y o u will

Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Use the pot

This Filipino discipline com bines the flu id m ove

benefit from these classes. Color experiments, dry

ter's wheel an d hand-building to make a variety o f

ments o f the escrima stick with graceful a nd

classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or visit www. flynncenter.org. Classes include: Ja z z a n d Gospel

dynam ic footwork.

Choir, Introduction to Flam enco Guitar, Ja zz Combo

brush, wet-on-wet techniques, glazes, w ashes and

useful objects, such as cand y dishes, m ugs with

more will be covered.

handles an d p ig gy banks. Students will also prac

kids

tice trimming, gla zin g an d p a in tin g their work.

BUILD NOAH'S ARK WITH CLAY: For ages

5-8,

Mondays, beginning January 13, 3-5 p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Explore the continents an d build a big boat filled with anim als from around the world. Working with clay will stimulate a child's creativity in a fu n an d encouraging environment.

CLAY CLASSES: Various

classes beginning Tuesday,

January 7. Bristol Clay Studio, Bristol. For dates, times, and prices, visit www.bristolrec.org, or call Bristol Recreation Department at 453-5885, or Marcy at the clay studio at 453-7684. Classes include: After Sch ool Clay, grades 1-3; After Sch ool Clay, grades 4-6; Teen Clay, grades 7-12; Home

THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR AND THE VERY QUIET CRICKET: Parent-Child Workshop: For ages 4-6, January 5, 12-1 p.m. Flynn Center, Burlington. $10/one chitd with adult. For more info on this event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or visit www.flynncenter.org. Enrich y o u r child's under stand ing an d enjoym ent o f this fa m ily matinee by taking this fu n, interactive workshop. Join us after

language

tions a nd get creative u sin g fu n art media. Every student chooses his or her favorite m edium fo r a special project.

FLYNNARTS FREE SATURDAY SAMPLER FOR CHILDREN: Grades 2-8, Saturday, January 11. FlynnArts Studios, Burlington. Free. For more info on this event or other FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4548 or visit www.flynncenter.org. Take a free theater or dance class. Faculty will be on site to answer questions.

FLYNNARTS SPRING SEMESTER:

ing, writing, speaking, listening a nd grammar. They are open fo r all who want to learn a nd improve their English, as well as explore Am erican culture

January 20. For more info on FlynnArts classes for all ages, call 652-4500 or visit www.flynncenter.org. In clu d e s classes fo r all ages in music, dance an d theater, an d vacation cam ps in February a n d April.

MAKING POTS, SCULPTURES & TOYS OF ANCIENT CULTURES: Ages 9-12, Fridays, beginning

Ongoing small group classes, beginners to

Group and individual instruction, beginnef

a n d requires no special strength or size.

cover a variety o f m usical styles including jazz,

meditation

rock, pop, traditional a n d world music.

MASTERY AND MEDITATION CLASS:

First and third

Tuesdays, 7-9 p.m. S. Burlington. Free. Info, Master In a y a t Khan. Focus on accom plishm ent a n d

WEEKLY MEDITATION AND DISCUSSION:

Tuesdays,

7-8:30 p.m. Spirit Dancer Books 8< Gifts, Burlington. $5, donations welcomed. Info, 6608060. Allow y o u r m ind to calm a n d y o u r spirit to

to prepare fo r a trip abroad or to better enjoy the

y o u into fo cu se d thought a n d educated discussion.

Introductory

p.m. Adults: Monday through Thursday, 5:30-6:30 p.m. and 6:45-7:45 p.m.; Wednesday, noon-1 p.m.; Fridays, 5:30-7 p.m.; Saturdays, 10-11:45 a.m. Children: Tuesdays, 4-5 p.m.; Saturdays, 10-

Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. B uild y o u r own

11:45 a.m. Aikido of Champlain Valley, 257 Pine

ancient board gam e or invent a new one. Create a

St., Burlington. Info, 951-8900 or

lucky charm or an "a n cie n t'' toy, or com e up with

www.aikidovt.org. This traditional Jap anese mar

course beginning January 9, Thursdays, 6-8:30

tial art em phasizes circular, flo w in g movements,

the fire a nd sm oke create the finish.

jo in t locks an d throwing techniques.

11:30 a.m., Wednesdays, 7:30

p.m. Martial Way Self-Defense Center, 25 Raymond

Ritchie Berger is known to be tough in the courtroom, but when it comes to saving lives, there are no arguments. That’s why Ritchie Berger became a Pheresis donor for the American Red Cross.

“There is no argument. Blood is the one gift we can give to everyone. ” -'Ritchie Berger

10:30 a.m. Shelburne Athletic Club, 4068 Shelburne Rd., Shelburne. Info, 985-2229 or specifically designed apparatus to prom ote the ulti mate Pilates workout.

pottery

ADULT CLAY CLASSES:

Various classes beginning

Monday, January 20. Bristol Clay Studio, Bristol. For dates, times, and prices, visit www.bristol rec.org, or catl Bristol Recreation Department at 453-5885, or Marcy at the clay studio at 4537684. Classes include: Ladies Night Out, ages 18+; Introduction to Clay, grades 7 - adult-

Info, 985-3648. This course is a com prehensive

introduction to Wheel, grades 7 - adult; Clay

introduction to sta ined glass techniques f o r begin

Explorations for Seniors; Hand-Building for Teens, ages 12-19.

n in g a n d intermediate students. Glass cutting basics as well as lead cam e a n d copper fo il m eth ods wilt be covered. Students will build a full-sized

music

FLYNNARTS MUSIC: Spring

D o nate B lo o d T oday

Call 802.658.6400 for an appointment today or walk into the donor center on 32 North Prospect Street in Burlington. American Red Cross Because Donating Blood is Everyone’s Business’

CVU CLAY CLASSES:

Five-week courses. Pottery for

all levels: Wednesdays, beginning January 15, 3:30-5:30 p.m. or 6:30-8:30 p.m. $60. Sculpture: Tuesdays beginning January 14, 6:30-8:30 p.m.

semester begins January

W h eve

Case Closed

Introductory

class only, Mondays, 5:30 p.m. and Saturdays,

p.m. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village.

window o f their own design.

yo u r own idea! The pieces will be pit-fired, letting

ARNIS: Saturdays,

metal/stained glass

STAINED GLASS COMPREHENSIVE: Ten-week

classes begin on January 7 and January 14, 5:30

pilates

FREE PILATES REFORMER CLASS:

www.shelburneathletic.com. Utilize a variety of

grow. Barry Weiss will use his knowledge to guide

AIKIDO OF CHAMPLAIN VALLEY:

Registration begins January 6. Info, 865-4422. Classes include M usic Fundam entals, Chorus, Music Theory I, P iano I, Guitar I, Guitar I I, a n d M usic

to advanced, all ages. Middlebury area. Prices vary. Info, 545-2676. Im m erse yo u rse lf in Italian

martial arts

fo u n d across the globe. Two-credit class.

MORE MUSIC CLASSES AT CCV: All classes start

Ensem ble: J a z z a n d Gospel Choir. M usic classes

success in yo u r life a n d interfaith prayer f o r world

ITALIAN:

Burlington. Registration begins January 6. Info, 865-4422. Explore selected m usic a n d rhythms

First class free. Info, 893-8893. This sim ple an d

peace.

8384. Im prove y o u r listening, speaking, reading

Fridays, January 31 through May 9, 11:45 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. CCV,

practical martial-art form was created by a wom an

Halt, Fort Ethan Allen, Colchester. Free. Info, 324a n d writing skills in English as a seco n d language.

INTRO TO WORLD MUSIC:

the last week of January. CCV, Burlington.

Fridays, 6 p.m. Martial Way

intermediates. Vermont Adult Learning, Sloane

January 17, 3-5 p.m. Shelburne Craft School,

TABLEWARE FOR KIDS (INTERMEDIATE POT TERY): For ages 9-12, Wednesdays, beginning

Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. $12/class or $35/month for unlimited

658-2447. Study the teachings o f In d ia n Sufi

an d history.

ESL:

country's music, art a n d cuisine.

Beginning

u sin g Digital Orchestrator software a nd record them

Self-Defense Center, 25 Raymond Rd., Colchester.

Wright, 802-865-7225. Classes will fo cu s on read

Burlington. Registration begins January 6. Info, 865-4422. Students create original com positions on CD. Three-credit class.

an d an effective form o f self-cultivation.

Ongoing,

January 30 through May 5, 6:15-9 p.m. CCV

Tuesdays and Thursdays, 8-9 p.m., Saturdays, 10-11:30 a.m., Sundays, 10-11:30 a.m. The Vermont Center for

WING CHUN KUNG FU:

ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE:

Workshops, a n d masterclasses.

INTRO TO TECHNOLOGY IN MUSIC: Thursdays,

centerline an d efficiency.

TRADITIONAL CHINESE KUNG FU:

classes that month. Info, 864-7778. X in g Yi Chuan

235 College St., Burlington. Free. Info, Colleen

School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. This class encourages children to stretch their im agina

the pure Ving Tsun System, rooted in relaxation,

is a traditional Chinese internal k u n g f u system

clay, ages 3-5.

p.m. Ages 5-8, Fridays, 3-5 p.m. Shelburne Craft

four days a week. 28 North St., two buildings up from North Ave., Burlington. Info, 324-7702, www.kungfu-videos.com. Traditional training in

worked their magic.

Sch ool Clay, grades 1-12; Pre-School/Kindergarten

Beginning January 14. Ages 9-12, Tuesdays, 3-5

Beginner classes

the show to meet the cast a nd see how they

Wednesdays, 7-9 p.m. and Sundays, beginning November 10, noon-2 p.m. Fletcher Free Library,

DRAWING, PAINTING, COLLAGE & SCULPTURE:

MOY YAT VING TSUN KUNG FU:

POTTERY »

12B

do you want to learn?

During the Spring semester Burlington College offers travel-and-learn opportunities in Puerto Rico, Ghana, and New York City. For more information, call IK800)] 862-9616

HIST"

95 No. Ave., Burlington VT 05401 www. burlingtoncollege. edu

SPRING COURSE B U L L E T IN AVAILABLE NOW

12B I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

LIST YOUR CLASS

call:

864-5684

em ail:

classes@sevendaysvt.com

fax:

8 65 -1015

POTTERY « 10B

tai chi

scuba

TAI CHI CHUAN:

Beginner class, Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m.; Thursdays,

class size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkvermontcom.

7-8 p.m.; Saturdays, 7:45-8:45 a.m. The Vermont

A prim er on fixed-base a n d plunge routers and

January 30, 5:30-10 p.m. Burlington. $245.

Center for Acupuncture and Holistic Healing, 257

lam inate trimmers. This class provides a working

Additional $50 for local spring open-water certifi

Pine St., Burlington. $12/class or $35/month for

knowledge o f the router, table, operation, bits and

cation dives, or complete open-water dives at a

unlimited classes that month. Info, 864-7778.

accessories, j ig s a n d templates (store-bought and

warm-water vacation destination this winter.

This traditional Yang Style short-form Tai Chi is a

shop-m ade).

Results in an internationally recognized, lifetime

gentle a n d flo w in g exercise that helps correct p o s

Eight sessions,

certification. Call Waterfront Diving Center at 80 2 -

ture a n d creates deep relaxation an d overall

8 6 5 -2 7 7 1 fo r more info or to register.

health.

self-defense

men, women and children. Vermont Brazilian JiuJitsu Academy, 4 Howard St., Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 660-4072. Escape fe a r with an integrat ed self-defense system based on technique, not size, strength or speed.

support groups

spiritual

hs.org. CVU offers these as well as other clay class es fo r students o f all levels.

POTTERY CLASSES WITH OPEN STUDIO:

In-depth

morning and evening classes for all skill levels beginning January 7. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Introduce yo u r - . se lf to the fu ndam entals o f the potter's wheel or further y o u r understanding o f creating utilitarian

off/members. Limited class size, 878-0057,

March 3. 64 Main St., Third floor, Montpelier.

www.shoptalkvermont.com. Students are intro

$35/month. Pre-register, 456-1983. Instructor

duced to ba sic carving techniques u sin g ha n d tools

Ellie Hayes has been practicing a n d teaching Hwa

to construct a decoy duck, a bird or sign.

Yu Style Tai Chi since 1974. This style features cir cular movement, deep relaxation a n d significa nt health benefits.

wood

Hinesburg. Info, 482-3191 or www.downstreet magazine.com/beecherhillyoga. Beecher Hill Yoga

Ten weeks,

offers classes in Integrative Yoga, Yoga fo r Posture

Sundays, January 12 through April 9, 1-4 p.m. Mondays, January 13 through March 17, 6-9 p.m.

& Alignm ent, Therapeutic Yoga a n d Yoga-based

Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. $200/non-mem-

Stress Reduction.

BIKRAM YOGA:

Ongoing daily classes for all levels.

878-0057, www.shoptalkvermont.com. B egin n in g

257 Pine St./ Burlington. Info, 651-8979. A heat

woodworkers are exposed to the various com p o

ed studio facilitates deep stretching a n d detoxify

Origin to Self-Realization: Saturday, February 1,

nents o f m illing a n d joinery techniques as they

8 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. Capitol Plaza, 100 State St.,

construct a project o f their choice.

Montpelier. $100/pre-register by January 15,

Ongoing day and evening

classes or private instruction and yoga therapy.

bers, 2 5 % off/members. Limited class size, Family of

yoga

BEECHER HILL YOGA:

BASIC WOODWORKING TECHNIQUES:

See listin g s in th e WELLNESS DIRECTORY in the classifieds, section B.

size, 482-7194 or eddie@cvuhs.org., www.cvu

Morse Drive, Essex. $220/non-members, 2 5 %

Ongoing, Mondays, 5:15-

6:30 p.m. Openings for beginners, January 6 &

Ongoing classes Monday through Saturday for

THE SOUL'S JOURNEY THROUGH TIME:

WOODCARVING FOR BEGINNERS & INTERMEDI ATE WOODWORKERS: Ten weeks, Wednesdays, February 5 through April 9, 6-9 p.m. Shoptalk, 7A

TAI CHI/MONTPELIER:

BRAZILIAN JIU-JITSU AND CARDIOBOXING:

High School, Hinesburg. Pre-register, limited class

a.m. - noon. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex.

$100/non-members, 2 5 % off/members. Limited

Tuesdays and Thursdays, January 7 through

SCUBA CERTIFICATION CLASS:

$65. Batik on Silk: Wednesdays, 6-8 p.m. $60. CVU

9 Ongoing, Wednesdays, 9-10 a.m.;

COUPLES BOWLING:

ing.

BRISTOL YOGA:

Daily Astanga yoga classes, Sunday,

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, 5:30-7 p.m.,

One session, three hours. Call

$115/register after January 15. David Pellegrino,

to schedule a convenient time. Shoptalk, 7A

Wednesdays, 10-11:30 a.m., Saturdays, 9:30-11

licensed mental health Counselor, 457-3263 or

Morse Drive, Essex. $10. 878-0057, www.shoptalk

a.m., Sundays (beginners) 4-5 p.m. Old High

Robert Reimondi, licensed Psychologist-Master,

vermont.com. Put a spin on y o u r typical date

School, Bristol. Info, 482-5547. This classical form

223-3572. Day-long educational experience fo r

night. Bring y o u r significa nt other to class an d

o f y o g a incorporates balance, strength a n d flexibili

those o f a n y religion or spiritual tradition who wish to further integrate their personal p sychology with their spirituality. Designed to assist one in exam ining o n e 's life history a n d personal habits in

ty in a hot environm ent to stead y the mind,

learn how to make a beautiful bowl together.

CREATE A BOWL LATHE WORKSHOP: January

11 &

12, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Shelburne Craft School,

strengthen the bod y a n d free the sou L

BURLINGTON YOGA:

Ongoing daily classes, 156 St.

Paul St., Burlington. Prices vary. Info, 658-YOGA

Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. A special week

relation to o n e 's spiritual practice a n d develop

end intensive on how to turn w ood round. Each

(9642). Students at all levels receive challenging

pottery, fo cu sin g on high-temperature stoneware

student will start with a block o f w ood an d turn it

instruction.

an d sod a firings. Classes taught by professional

ment. The go a l o f the day is a renewed under

potter Michael Connelly an d his staff.

sta nd ing o f ourselves a n d the ways in which we

SCULPTING THE FIGURE: Thursday evening

classes

beginning January 16. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info, 985-3648. Work through the process o f ceramics an d refine y o u r skills u sin g the hum an form as y o u r focus. Color slips will be applied by m eans o f printing, inlaying, trailing, p ainting an d so d a fire.

qi gong

QI GONG:

Ongoing classes for all levels, Mondays

can practice our spirituality.

sports

ORIENTEERING WORKSHOPS: Saturday, January 11. Clearwater Sports, Route 100, Waitsfield. $55. Pre-register, 496-2708, www.clearwatersports. com. This clinic is designed to teach the skills that will allow y o u to walk freely a n d safely through the backw oods o f Vermont without needing to sta y on the beaten path. Topics to be covered: Awareness

and Thursdays, 7:30-8:30 a.m. and 9:30-10:30

skills, ba sic com p ass skills, reading topographic

a.m.; Tuesdays and Thursdays, 6-7 p.m. The

maps, sh o o tin g a bearing, declination a nd low-

Vermont Center for Acupuncture and Holistic

im pact hiking. Finally, use y o u r new -found skills to

Healing, 257 Pine St., Burlington. $12/class or

do a point-to-point bushwhack, totally off-trail,

$35/month for unlimited classes that month. Info,

a n d graduate into the world o f the safe off-trail

864-7778, www.vcahh.org. Qi Gong is a gentle exer

wanderer.

into a fin ish e d piece. Open studio time is included.

FINE WOODWORKING: Ten-week

MONTPELIER BIKRAM YOGA: Ongoing

beginning January 6, morning or evening classes. Shelburne Craft School, Shelburne Village. Info,

classes at

Geezum Crow Yoga, 37 Elm St., Montpelier. Info,

class for all levels

229-9922. Stretch, tone, sw eat a n d smile.

UGB SOLAR YOGA CLASS:

New opening January 3.

Hatha Introductory Group of Asanas, 8:45 a.m.;

985-3648. Learn the basic fu ndam entals o f w ood working by creating a small, ha ndsom e table or

Kids' Yoga, 10:15 a.m.; Hatha Yoga, all levels,

continue im proving y o u r craftsm anship a n d design

2 p.m. 401 Patchen Rd., S. Burlington. $50/7

in an intermediate o r advanced class.

weeks. Register, Nicole Davila, UGB yoga teacher,

FUNDAMENTALS OF HAND-TOOL SHARPENING:

865-9909. Introductory Group o f A sa n a s especially designed fo r beginners, senior citizens, pregnant

Saturday, January 18, 1-4 p.m. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex. $45/non-members, 2 5 % off/members. Limited class size, 878-0057,

women a n d children

YOGA IN THE MAD RIVER VALLEY:

Ongoing class

es in Kung Fu, TaeKwonDo & Tai Chi for seniors.

www.shoptalkvermontcom. This three-hour course will present the theory a n d practice o f sharp ening

Kripalu, Iyengar, Creative and Kundalini yoga

a n d h o n in g flat-edge tools with a practical e m ph a

classes. Centre for Healing and Martial Arts,

sis on chisels a n d hand-plane blades.

Waitsfield. Info, 496-8906. All ages a n d abilities

LATHE CLASS:

One session, three hours or two ses

welcome.

YOGA VERMONT: Astanga

classes every day.

cise that coordinates deep breathing and movement

sions, six hours. Shoptalk, 7A Morse Drive, Essex.

to help with overall circulation an d well-being.

$45/one-session, $100/two-sessions. Limited

Jivamukti, Kripalu, Iyengar, prenatal, kids' &

class size, 878-0057, www.shoptalkvermontcom.

senior classes weekly. Chace Mill, Burlington.

Call to schedule a convenient time fo r y o u to

Info, 660-9718 or www.yogavermont.com. Enjoy

attend.

sw eaty f u n with a range o f y o g a choices, including

ROUTER CLASS: Sundays,

January 19 and 26,

astanga-style "p ow er” yo ga , fo r all levels o f experi ence. ®

Both Locations Open N ew Year's Day!

O rchid

Restaurant

Over 20 years experience in Restaurant Business

2& #5Y E A R S li

F2002^ m Serving Traditional Honey Ham, Hong Kong Ham and Hong Kong Steak $9.95 A dults $6.99 K id s (8-12) $4.95 (3-7) K id s under 3 eat for free! 2003 E sse x Road, Williston

5 Market St., So. Burlington

878-1288

658-3626

Sun, to Thurs. 11am-10pm, Fri, & Sat, 11am-10:30pm

monday at 5pm P H O N E 802.864.5684 FA X 802.865.1015 e m a i l classified@sevendaysvt.com D E A D L IN E

2 3 (/)

SUPERVISOR: FULL TIME H ealth In su ra n c e Plan, I R A Plan, Paid Vacation Plan!

►EMPLOYMENT & BUSINESS OPR LINE ADS: 750 a word. ►LEGALS: Starting at 350 a word. ►HOUSE & APT LINE ADS: 25 words for $10. Over 25: 500/word. ►LINE ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25: 300/word. ►DISPLAY ADS: $17.00/col. inch. ►ADULT ADS: $20/col. inch.

LU H

All line ads must be prepaid. We take VISA, MASTERCARD & cash, of course.

A position providing job support for a high functioning and pleasant young adult, 20 hours a week, in the Burlington area. Being able to teach social and work skills a plus.

Part-Tim e Positions

Apply to Sterling Employment Services

Free Movie Rentals! Great Work Environment!

P0 Box 1207 Morrisville, VT 05661

Apply in Person at:

Or fax to: 802-888-1182

VIDEO WORLD

S A L E S M A N A G E R R E Q U IR E D

We are looking for a person who D esires F inancial F reed o m and is willing to make it happen. G re e n M oun tain H am m ock C o m p an y offers unlimited financial opportunity working at your own pace. We are a leading importer of C lo th H am m ocks to the USA Mail your resume to: G.M.H.C. _ 274 North Winnoski Ave.' Burlington, VT 05401 or Fax 802.865.0599

Superstore

E than A lle n S h o p p in g C en ter I 1 2 7 N o rth A v e n u e - B u rlin g to n

Full-time Training Specialist VERM ONT CENTER FO R CRIME VICTIM SERVICES

Accounting Assistant Ashgate Publishing Company, an international academic book publisher, is seeking a selfmotivated accounting assistant. The ideal candidate will be willina to accept a challenge and be able to w ork efficiently in a fast paced environment. Excellent communication skills and attention to detail are essential. Accounting experience and knowledge of Excel and Access are a must. We offer a friendly working environment with a competitive benefits package. To apply, please send cover letter with resume and salary requirements to:

■

Ann-Marie Abajian Harvey Ashgate Publishing

There’s no health club, no covered parking, and sometimes the hours are downright awful, but this media company offers the best atmosphere you’ve ever imagined. We do great work, for some very big clients and we’re interested in adding some new blood to our team of pros for 2003. So to all you

project managers, designers, telemarketers, programmers, video producers ... if you’re chill, but can go big ... drop us a line ... Fax: 872-0274 ... 22A Morse Drive, Essex Jet. 05452, or email lpitcher@teamstriDer.com.

MSI

The VT Center for Crime Victim Services and the Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault seek a full-time Training Specialist to coordinate, design and deliver exceptional training with partner agencies on caregiver/domestic abuse and sexual assault against older people and people with disabilities. Familiarity with victim services, abuse issues, service for older people and people with disabilities preferred. Excellent presentation and group facilitation skills a must. Resume and cover letter by January 10^ to: Jac Patrissi

Vermont Center for Crime Victim Services 58 S. Main Street - Suite 1, Waterbury, VT 05676-1599 EOE Survivors of crime and persons with disabilities encouraged to apply.

101 Cherry Street

_____ Suite 420

Burlington, VT 05401-4405

THE MORNING BUZZ WANTS YOU! ACCO UNT EXECUTIVE

Lamoille County Mental Health Lamoille C ounty M ental H ealth is looking to fill a DS Case M anagem ent position. This position includes working with developm entally delayed children and their families. G reat benefits package. BA required.

C o n w a y Office Products is looking for a self-motivated individual to market Konica copiers. Sales experience preferred, but not required. Qualified candidates will possess a professional im age, g o o d co m m u nica tio n skills, a positive attitude a n d a com m itm ent to excellence. We offer: • • • • •

Send resumes to:

L.C.M.H.S. 520 Washington Highway Morrisville, VT 05661 ATTN: HR Director

C om p lete traininq proqram 401K plan Competitive com p ensation plan C a r allow ance M e d ica l benefits

For a confidential interview, please call Keith Clark at 800-343-7777 ext. 239.

EOE

Are you a morning person? Can you fake being a morning person? Got a good voice? Can you make sense of the news and sports? Think you can deal with the dry wit of our British import, lain? Then maybe YOU are the next co-host of The Morning Buzz! Kim's heading back to NYC, and we someone to co-host The Morning Buzz with lain. If you are interested, send a resume and (if you've got one) a tape of past radio work, or just a tape of what your voice sounds like to:

THE M O RN IN G BUZZ P.O. BOX 999 BURLINGTON, V I 05401 Got questions? Email us, majlbag@999thebuzz.com! Burlington Broadcasters is an equal opportunity employer.

14B | december 26, 2002-january 8, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

^ a ir icLASSIFIEDSEMPLOYMENT Papa Nick’s Night Dishwasher Waitstaff Individual must be motivated, organized, mature & dependable. Pay commensurate with experience. Call N ick or Voula 482-6050 for an appointm ent

Currently Seeking mature, experienced

SERVERS

V eterinary A ssistnt / R eceptionist (full-time) Seeking Experienced, fun, friendly, flexible, & organized team member. Resumes S’ references please. M

Don't let this one get away.. Flexible Schedule Fun Environment

Apply in person today l-5pm

R i v e r V e t e r in a r y S e r v ic e 6 37 Millbrook Rd, Waitsfield. 8 0 2 - 496 - 7 2 7 2 .

C o m e & w o r k in a fu n & e n t h u s ia s t ic e n v ir o n m e n t .

Administrative Assistants

North Stars G ym nastics

$IZ/hour,various positions,MS Office required.

is looking fo r p a rt-tim e in stru c to rs fo r o u r p re-sc h o o l, re creatio n a l c la sse s & co m p etitiv e te a m s . G y m n astic e x p e rie n c e is g re a t, b u t will train th e rig h t p erso n .

Phone Surveys $9/hour,evening fr weekend shifts available, flexible s c h e d u l i n g , ^ casual office in downtown Burlington.

For immediate consideration, please call Natalie at 862-6S00.

Westaff

1080 Shelburne Road South Burlington EOE

D € A L E R .C ® M ‘ W

S u p p o r t S t a f f (1 p o s i t i o n )

Hom e Care Provider Seeking a Home Care Provider to provide live-in support to an active, intelligent, and talented woman experiencing psychiatric symptoms. Position includes generous stipend, free housing, training, respite and support.

Team Leader Assertive Community Treatment Team Seeking an organized, energetic and creative individual to provide leadership and supervision to the Assertive Community Treatment Team. Responsibilities include direct service to clients, supervision of staff and ensuring a high level of quality care. Must have a strong commitment to the recovery process of individuals with psychiatric symptoms. Must have a Master’s degree in a Human Services field or a Bachelor’s degree in a Human Services field and 3 years experience serving persons with psychiatric symptoms.

N CSS, HR Department, 107 Fisher Pond Road, St. Albans, VT 05478

Dealer.com is currently hiring for an additional m ember to its support staff. Position requires a m inim um of 1 year internet related support experience, knowledge of the automotive industry, phone and E -M a il support experience and a zest for customer satisfaction. A working knowledge of HTML and W eb based software is necessary. Dealer.com W ebsystem s is a Burlington based ASP focused on Internet Solutions forthe automotive industry. To be considered for this position, please E -M a il your resume to careers@dealer.com for consideration.

CHITTENDEN SOUTH SUPERVISORY U N IO N

__________ 2002-03 Non-Licensed Openings__________

Do you work & play like a dog? M aybe it's time to shed the leash and come work for us! Sales Representative: The successful pup will have strong computer skills with preference given for those individuals that have Apple Macintosh skills. A college degree is required as well as strong typing and writing skills. Attention to detail and a com mitm ent to friendly interaction with customers is essential. We are looking for a team player that is capable of multitask ing and is self-motivated. We provide competitive wages, a great work environment and an unbeatable benefits package! Small Dog Electronics is a non-sm oking environment, smokers need not apply. We are an equal opportunity employer. Please e-mail your resume to Don@ Sm alldog.com (no phone calls please)

Small Doji

Electronics Inc. www.smalldog.com

• Apple Specialist 1673 Main Street ¥ Waitsfield ¥ Vermont

Cham plain V alley Union High School Para-Educator - needed for special program at CVU serving students with emotional/behavioral issues. Full-time, school year position. Experience preferred. Extensive training will be provided. Please send resume, letter of interest and three references to: Beth Peterson, Director of Special Services, 369 CVU Road, Hinesburg, VT 05461.

Williston School District Para-educators - Williston School District Special Education Department has several Para-educator positions available for experienced applicants. If you want to make a difference with children and gain valuable experience, consider joining our special education team. Pay rate is competitive, benefits are included. Apply to Williston School District, 195 Central School Drive, Williston, VT 05495, Attn: Cindy Morin, Special Education Office Manager. Questions call Cindy at 879-5845. Title One Math Para-educator - Williston School District Title 1 Program has an opening for a part-time Math Para-educator. Requirements: skills in teaching early math concepts and math skills K-3 and an Associate's degree. Preferred: familiarity of the Everyday Math program. Please contact Nancy Rondeau - 878-2762, ext. 5769 or Carter Smith - 879-5825.__________________

Shelburne Com m unity School__________ Speech Language Pathologist - Shelburne Community School is looking for a dynamic professional to work approximately 10 hours per week working with our Early Essential Education Program, (ages 3-5). Qualified candidates will have a demonstrated record of performance and solid background in assessment, consultation and direct service with elementary-aged students identified with speech and language delays. Potential for long-term employment in 2003-04 school year. Licensed candidates should send a resume and three letters of reference to: Patty Spagnolo, 345 Harbor Road, Shelburne, VT 05482. Any questions, please call 985-3331 ext. 108._______________________________

SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 8, 2003 I 7Dclassifieds 15B

EM PLOYM ENT ToppTffln'ty 1,1 A m ountain resort in the European tradition * • BlISSER - FT position to work in the Austrian Tea Room. Assist servers with service; clear and reset tables, etc. Previous bussing experience preferred. Must be able to work daytime, weekends and holidays. • BAKER - FT year-round; must be able to work early A M hours, including weekends; Culinary degree plus 2-3 years of experience; Strong skills with plated desserts desired. • H O U S E M A N - FT, responsible for cleaning public areas and housekeeping vehicles; must be able to work weekends and lift up to 50 lbs. A valid driver's license is required. • CREW LEADER - PT, Saturday and Sunday; Duties include: follow-up on Guest House Cleaners, check completed work and complete anything missing; Hours are approximately 9am-4pm. • S W IT C H B O A R D O P E R A T O R - FT year-round; Must have previous Switchboard/guest services experience and be able to work flexible hours including evening, weekends and holidays. Competitive pay SC benefits available after intro period for FT, YR such as medical, dental, life/disability, 401k, vacation/sick and more. Most employees get use of fitness ctr/pools/tennis/X-country skiing, free summer concerts in the meadow, shift meals, discounts on food, retail, massages SC more. Apply to: Trapp Family Lodge, HR, PO Box 1428, Stowe, V T 05672 Fax: 802-253-5757 or online at www.trappfamily.com E.O.E

Assistant Track Coaches Essex Union High School

Two, tem porary/one-year positions available for the 2003 track seasons. O ne position will specialize in distance events. Both positions pay $1,793 per season. Experience working w ith high school aged students preferred. If interested, please send letter, resum^/application and three letters o f reference to:

Ed Hockenbury/Athletic Director Essex Union High School 2 Educational Drive Essex Junction, VT 05432

Residential Treatment Counselor Energetic, responsible, individual needed to join our team working in a residential program for adults who have mental illness. Bachelor's degree and related Human Service experience preferred.

Substitute Residential Workers Compassionate, dependable individuals needed to work as substitutes for all shifts including sleep and awake overnight working with adults who are considered to have mental illness.

H o w a rd C e n t e r fo r H u m a n S e rv ic e Community Support Clinician Full-time position available to support persons with psychiatric disabilities in Chittenden County. W o r k as part of a multi-disciplinary team providing creative problem-solving, advocacy, resource development, case management, counseling and crisis support. D irect services field and experience with persons with serious

People with disabilities encouraged to apply. EEO/TTY Send resume to: Lis Mickenberg Howard Center for Human Services 300 Flynn Ave. Burlington, VT by January 6,2003.

and persistent mental disorders preferred. Please submit resume to: Terrence Hayden L IC S W 300 Flynn Ave. Burlington,VT 05401 by January 15,2003. Individuals with disabilities encouraged to apply

EEO/TTY

SEVEN DAYS Where the good jobs are.

bsence makes the heart grow fonder^

SEVEN DAYS will have a new issue january 8, 2003

I6B J december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVEN DAYS

IcLA SSIF IE D SE M P L O Y M E N T /A D U LT ► employment 100 WORKERS NEEDED.

Assemble craft, wood items. Materials provided. Up to $480/wk. Free info package 24 hours. Call 801-428-4614. EARN INCOME WORKING from home. $500-51500 P A $2500 + F A Local Business Mentors: Chad & Tonya Pearson. For FREE booklet: Call 888-447-6280 or visit www.GetWealthToday.com. RETAIL SALES: Full or parttime. Are you bright? Accurate? Love to help people? Have a tal ent for design? TEMPO FURNISH INGS, 985-8776.

WE WANT MINORITY WRIT ERS: The Academy for Alternative Journalism, supported by alterna tive papers like this one, seeks experienced minority journalists and students (college seniors and up) for a paid summer writing program at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism, Chicago. The eightweek program (June 23 - August 15, 2003) aims to recruit talent ed minority writers into the alter native press and train them in magazine-style feature writing. Ten participants will be chosen and paid $3,000 plus housing and travel allowances. For infor mation visit the web site at www.medill.northwestern.edu/aaj or write for an application: Academy for Alternative Journalism, Northwestern I University, Medill School of Journalism, 1845 Sheridan Road, Evanston, IL 60208. altacademy@northwestern.edu. Application deadline February 7, 2003. (AAN CAN)

► work wanted BARTENDER FOR HIRE:

Experienced Bartender with a wide repertoire of cocktails available for private parties or catering events. Call Dan Lewin, 8635276 or 598-3030 (cell).

► business opps

$$ BARTEND $$ Have fun, make money. Up to $300 per shift. No experience required. Call 800-806-0083 ext. 203. (AAN CAN)

METROPOLITAN MORTGAGE & Securities Co., Inc. buying sellerfinanced mortgages through bro kers since 1953. To broker a note, call 1-800-268-9184. Visit us online at www.metrobuysnotes.com. (AAN CAN)

► announcements DONATIONS WANTED for Dress

for Success Sale. Professional clothing for men and women (sizes 8 - 26, fuller sizes are especially needed) in excellent condition needed to insure that individuals on public assistance working or starting work will have proper interview attire and etiquette to secure jobs in pro fessional environments. Must be dry cleaned or pressed, on hang ers, and delivered to Rhonda Freed, Family Self Sufficiency Program Coordinator at the Burlington Housing Authority, 150 S. Champlain St., Burlington, between 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. until February 1, 2003. Call Rhonda, 8640538 x226 for info. Please note that boxes or bags of clothes cannot be accepted. YOUR CLASSIFIED AD printed in more than 100 alternative papers like this one for just $1,150.00! Reach more than 15 million young, active, adventur ous readers weekly. Call Jess at 802-864-5684. No Adult Ads. (AAN CAN)

► dating svcs.

COMPATIBLES HOLIDAY SPE CIAL! We are your local dating solution. Call us now for details and save, 872-8500, www.compatibles.com. START DATING TONIGHT. Have fun playing Vermont's dating game. For information call 1800-R0MANCE x2288.

► professional svcs.

ATTN: ARTISTS AND PHOTOG RAPHERS: Experience Fine Art Digital Printmaking with Archival In ks on Archival Papers. Bring a slide or digital file and get an 8x10 print FREE! Churchman Inc. Creative Services, 899-2200. churchman.inc@verizon.net.

CASH FOR ANTIQUES, Memorabilia, Levi's and clothes. Call Ivan, Battery St. Jeans. 2339843 or 864-6411.

► free

FREE COUCH:

Good condition. Clean. Pinkish color. You want, you haul. 651-1080.

PHOTOSHOP INSTRUCTION:

Beginning/Intermediate/Advanced. Private or small group. Reasonable rates and flexible times. Call Chur chman Inc. Creative Services at 802-899-2200.

UNIQUE PHOTOGRAPHY SER VICE: People/pets/places within their own environment, by Frog Hollow Montage Artist John Churchman. Call 802-899-2200.

VIDEOGRAPHY AND COMMER CIAL project production. Wedd ings, events, concerts. Rockumentaries for press packs. Professional digital equipment, reasonable rates. Heady Froth Films 238-2622. WOMENBUILD now booking renovations & new construction. Call NNETW, 878-0004 xlOO.

► photography MODELS WANTED:

Looking for serious aspiring models who are interested in breaking into the business. Growing,need for all kinds of models. ton tact Dave at David Russell Photography for free consultation. 651-9493 or e-mail: RUSL53@aol.com , web site: www.rusldp.com. NEED A PHOTOGRAPHER to cover your event or for special pictures? My rates are very affordable. Contact David Russell Photography at 651-9493, http://www.rusldp.com.

► financial BE DEBT FREE.

Low payments, reduced interest. Stop collector calls, stop late fees. Non-profit Christian Agency. Recorded mes sage, 800-714-9764. Family Credit Counseling, www.familycredit.org. (AAN CAN) $$CASH$$ Immediate Cash for structured settlements, annu ities, real estate notes, private mortgage notes, accident cases and insurance payouts. 877NOTES-31 (AAN CAN)

► music services EMP STUDIOS:

See what Government Mule, Our Lady Peace, Big Head Todd, Joe Bonamassa, and The Samples have all experienced. Lots of studios in town claim "State of the Art". Only one has been on the cover of M IX Magazine. Block and Day rates available. www.eganmedia.com, 655-1886. RECORD YOUR BAND! $150 for 60 minute CD. Burlington studio has top-notch gear and producer with 20 years experience. Satisfaction guaranteed! Cooper at the Controls, 862-1116.

► musicians avail

KEYBOARD PLAYER with

vocals seeking working band. Prefer oldies or wedding, but can do just about anything. 802-3242730, leave message.

► musicians ^ wanted

SINGER/SONGWRITER SEEKS

professional caliber guitarist or multi-instrumentalist with vocal abilities for acoustic act. I've got the songs, have you got the chops? Call John, 425-7120.

GUITAR: All styles/levels.

Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kiliman jaro, Sklar/Grippo, etc.), 8627696, www.paulasbell.com. GUITAR: Berklee graduate with classical background offers lessons in guitar, theory, and ear training. Individualized, step-bystep approach. I enjoy teaching all ages/styles/levels. Call Rick Belford at 865-8353.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:

Nordic Flex Ultralift weight machine. Like new, $250 (originally $950). Nordic Track Sport, exercise machine, World Class Edition. $150. 828-3224, days, 2531908, eves.

address

>N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS>

ANTIQUES:

Furniture, postcards, pottery, cameras, toys, medical, tools, lab glass, photographs, slide rules, license plates and silver. Anything unusual or unique. Cash paid. Call Dave at 802-859-8966.

► ALL ADS MUST BE PREPAID. WE TAKE VISA, MASTERCARD AND CASH, OF COURSE.

select a category (check one): G

d a tin g svcs.

herbs

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legals

fin a n c ia l

c o m p u te r svcs.

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other*

18+ O N LY

m isc. se rvice s

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w e d d in g svcs.

>N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS>

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wellness*

NASTY GIRLS HARDCORE LIVE 1 ON 1

b u sin e ss opps.

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hom ebrew

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* Not all categories are shown. If you don't see a category for your ad sub mission we'U review it and place it appropriately.

* Wellness categories are not shown. All wellness submissions will be reviewed and placed in the appropriate categories.

text of your ad:

XXX! SECRET DESIRES

1 800 723-7422 VISA/MC/AMEX 1 900 463-7422 -

1-888-282-2667

Over 25: 304/word thereafter. Discounts are available for long running ads and for national ads. ► FOR RENT ADS: $10 for 25 words. Over 25: 5 0 4 /word thereafter. Discounts are available for long running ads and for national ads. ► DISPLAY ADS: $17.00/col. inch. ► ADULT ADS: $20/col. inch. Group buys for display ads are available in other regional papers in Vermont. Call for more details.

e m p lo y m e n t

► want to buy

C ail toll fre e

► EMPLOYMENT & BUSINESS OPP. LINE ADS: 754 a word. ► LEGALS: Starting 354 a word. ► LINE ADS: $7 for 25 words.

| G w ork w an te d

>N0T FOR KIDS>

Waterproof, dark blue. Only 1 year old. Loaded with features. $99. 899-1282.

for your clothes

name

18+ O N LY

SNOW BOARD JACKET FOR SALE: Burton, men's large.

$$ Cash$$

Su bm it you r 7D C lassified by m a il to: PO Box 1 1 6 4 , B u rlin g to n , VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 or o n -lin e at w w w .seven d ay sv t.co m

phone.

SNOW BOARD FOR SALE:

Salomon, size 164, with bind ings. 3 years old. Excellent con dition. $199. 899-1282.

CLASSIFIEDSUBMISSION

>N0T FOR KIDS> >N0T FOR KIDS>

EXPERIENCED, RESPONSIBLE

► buy this stuff

manifest destiny.

► music instruct.

► childcare

nanny wanted for 3-month-old infant in Feb. 3 days during week, hours/days flexible, house work as negotiated. $8/hr. Burlington. Refs. req. Karen, 660-9867. FREE ROOM & BOARD in exchange for childcare for two teenagers. Three nights per week. Jericho. 899-4559.

Vermont's alternative web weekly

$2iI0/Min. 18^

NAUGHTY LOCAL GIRLS

WANT TO GET NASTY WITH YOU

# of weeks: payment: □

check □ cash

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v is a

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name on c a rd _______________________________________ expiration date (MM/YYYY) _ | _ | /

1-888-420-BABE

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ple ase note: refunds cannot be granted for any reason, adjustments will be credited to the advertiser's account toward future classifieds placement only, we proofread carefully, but even so, mistakes can occur, report errors at once, as seven days will not be responsible for errors continuing beyond the first printing, adjustment for error Is limited to repuMicatfon, in any event, liability for errors (or om issions) shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error (or om ission), alt advertising is subject to review by seven days, seven days reserves the right to edit, property categorize or decline any ad w ithout comment or appeal.

SEVEN DAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I 7Dclassifieds 17B

P A C E FIN D E R ► real estate CASH: Sold Real Estate and receiving payments on a mort gage and note? I'll pay you cash for your remaining payments. Frank, 802-462-2552.

► office space BURLINGTON WATERFRONT: Awesome space. Cool people. Main Street Landing. Call Melinda, 864-7999.

► space for rent BATTERY ST.: Lake views. Approx. 4000 sq. ft. for rent. $2600/mo. or partial space avail. 864-6411 or 233-9843. BURLINGTON: Artists' studios for rent in historic building. Join other artists. Several creative spaces avail, immed. A/C, heat, parking. $250/mo. and up. Call Andy at 802-864-6835. DEALERS WANTED: Space for rent for antiques & collectibles. Very busy location. Battery St. Jeans. 864-6411 or 865-6223.

► housing for BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom, 1/4 mile to UVM/hospitaL Parking, trash, water incL No pets. Avail in Jan. $800/mo. for 2 people. $750/mo. for 1 person. Call 941-2429. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom apt in beautifully restored Victorian. Downtown, walk to everything, offstreet parking. $1100/mo. Dave, 802-846-9568 or 802-355-8868. BURLINGTON: 2-bedroom, sec ond floor, parking. No dogs. Gas heat, near hospital. $875/mo. + utils. 862-4007. BURLINGTON: Attractive 3-bed room apt. Well-maintained older home. Wood floors, gas heat large bathroom, eat-in kitchen, W/D, large yard, parking, storage, mountain/river views. Pets OK. No smoking. Walk to UVM/ down town. Close to highway. Avail, immed. $1250/mo., includes water/garbage. 652-1272. BURLINGTON: Efficiency, 1 & 3 & 4 bedrooms. Gas heat, offstreet parking. Close to UVM and downtown. Avail, now. $550$1100/mo. Call 864-4449.

BURLINGTON: Large 2-bedroom flats. Gas heat, on-site laundry. Conveniently located behind Price Chopper. No pets/smoking. Avail mid-December. $800/mo. Call South Meadow Apartments, 864-9966. BURLINGTON: Spacious, first floor, 2-bedroom apt. Near UVM/FAHC. Clean, bright, quiet. W/D access, porch, office. Friend ly landlords. Heat/elec./HW incL $1100/mo. 1 year lease (will con sider shorter term). 324-5219. BURLINGTON: Studio apt. for rent. Off-street parking, hdwd floors, refinished bathroom. No smoking. $525/mo. 865-4782. CHARLOTTE: Beautiful, bright, spacious, two-story, 1-bedroom apt. near lake. Open kitchen/living area. Sunset view of the Adirondacks. 20 mins, to Burli ngton. Electricity included, shared laundry. Nonsmoker only. Avail, immed. $850/mo. + heat. Call 342-8306. CHARLOTTE: Cozy, comfortable, furnished 1-bedroom apt. in ren ovated barn. Beautiful views. No smoking. $950/mo. + utils. Sec ond floor also avail, for extra bedroom or office. $250/mo. 425-4409. COLCHESTER: Duplex. 2-bed room, gas heat, HW, W/D, park ing, yard. Pets OK. $1050/mo. + utils. 878-3550. ESSEX: Furnished 4-bedroom house, study, deck, porch, fire place. All appliances. Beautiful rural setting. 1.5 miles from major urban area. 8 miles to Burlington. No smoking. $1600/mo. 878-4087. ESSEX JCT: Large 1-bedroom apt. Fenced-in yard, W/D. No smoking. Dogs OK upon appro val. Avail. 1/1. $850/mo. + utils. 899-3720 or 310-1220. ESSEX, NY: Beautifully fur nished apt. w/lake views and art studio. Walk to ferry. No smoking/pets. Avail. Dec. '02 through June '03. $650/mo. + utils. 518963-7494. FRANKLIN: New year-round 1bedroom camp. Furnished, off grid electricity, wood stove, secluded. Monthly renter must monitor batteries and have 4WD, no phone. $75/night, $250/week, $400/mo. 802-933-6255.

'5 ^ 1 ,

REAL ESTATE, RENTALS, HOUSEMATES AND MORE

MALLETTS BAY: Charming 2bedroom cottage. Lake views, garden, beach access. Wood & gas heat, 2 living rooms, loft, & more. $850/mo. + dep. Call Dana at 878-8222.

► sublets BURLINGTON: Furnished duplex apt. for rent. 3/1 - 5/31. 2-3 bedrooms, lake view, laundry, porch, parking. $1000/mo., all incl. 658-6862.

SANTA FE, NEW MEXICO: 1bedroom condo. Weekend of Sat., Feb. 23 through March 2. $850. 802-865-3305. STOWE: Time share condo for sale. Redweek. 2-bedroom, sleeps 6. Excellent exchange value. Must sell! 802-865-3305. No telemarketers.

► housemates

B U R L IN G T O N Beautiful, large 4 -b e d ro o m h o u se in do w n to w n area with parking and yard. L o oking fo r o n e friendly, clean, m a tu re and prof, person. Pets negotiable. , Avail. 2 /1 . 1 /4 utils.

8 0 2 -8 6 3 -4 4 0 9 S. BURLINGTON: Dorset and Kennedy. Lovely town house. 2bedroom, clean, convenient, parking. No pets. Avail, immed. $900/mo. + utils. 864-7126. WINOOSKI: Clean 2-bedroom, gas heat, large kitchen & bath, deck, parking, on-site laundry. Convenient to buses, Burlington & interstate. Avail. 12/14. $750/mo. + utils. 655-0184.

► vacation rental NORTH HERO: Great gift, a holi day retreat. 3-bedroom lakefront home in desirable location. Captivating lake/mountain views. Hang your stockings on the stone fireplace mantel. Sleeps 6 (1 queen and 4 twin beds). Fully furnished/your linens. $1200/wk. 12/15-1/4. Lower non-holiday rates. Dep. 324-5219.

ALL AREAS, ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! V isit www.Roommate.com. (AAN CAN) BURLINGTON: 1-bedroom in 2bedroom downtown apt. Crea tive, cozy, nonsmoking. W/D, porch. Bedroom has own entrance. Lots of storage. Check it out. $370/mo. + 1/2 utils. Meg, 660-9550. BURLINGTON: Cool people, clean house, near hospital. Music, art & gay-friendly. $400/mo. + 1/4 utils. 660-8200. BURLINGTON: Pvt., large mas ter bedroom suite. Fully-fur nished. Parking, W/D, kitchen. Seeking prof., mature, nonsmok er. Avail. 1/1. $600/mo. + 1/2 utils. 802-865-3305. BURLINGTON: Roommate want ed to share spacious apt. with three conscientious UVM stu dents for the spring semester. 118 N. Union St., close, conve nient walk to Church St./UVM. Off-street parking, laundry. Avail. 1/1. $425/mo. + utils. Paul, 802-660-9080. BURLINGTON: Share 2-bed room, modern apt. Close to UVM and downtown. Parking. No smoking/pets. $450/mo. + utils. Call 859-3359. BURLINGTON: Student/young prof, to share large downtown, 3-bedroom apt. Avail, now. $400/mo., incl. everything. 845430-6046. CHARLOTTE: Housemate wanted for large, beautiful Victorian Farmhouse. No pets/smokers. Avail. 1/1. $375/mo. + 1/4 utils. 425-4761.

CHARLOTTE: Looking for one/two additional roommates to share country home. Sunny bed rooms, views of lake/Adirondacks, 1 mile to commuter rail. $300$400/mo. + 1/4 utils. 1 month dep. 425-6212 or 864-3672 xl036, jhfreese@earthlink.net. JERICHO: 1-bedroom in 2-bed-^ room house. Large room & clos et, comfortable common space. Dog OK. Nice house, nicer set ting: X-C ski from door! $450/mo. + utils. 434-8543. SHELBURNE: M/F for 1-bed room in 3-bedroom house. Lake view, large back yard, fireplace, W/D, quiet neighborhood. $400/mo. + utils. Contact Bill, 985-3125.

► homeshare RETIRED TEACHER SEEKS female housemate, who could provide rent and companionship. No smoking/pets. Lovely home near bike path. Contact HomeShare Vermont, 802-8633360 or visit www.homesharevermont.org. EHO.

EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY All real e s ta te advertising in this n ew spa p e r is subject to th e Federal Fair Housing A c t of 1968 a n d similar V erm ont statutes w h ich m a k e It illegal to advertise a n y pref e re n c e , limitations, or discrimination b a s e d o n ra c e , color, religion, sex, n ational origin, sexual orientation, a g e , m arital status, h a n d ic a p , p resen ce of m inor children in th e fam ily or re c e ip t o f public assistance, or a n intention to m a k e a n y such prefer e n c e , limitation or a discrimination. The n e w s p a p e r will not knowingly a c c e p t an y advertising for real estate, w hich is in viola tion o f th e law . O ur readers are h ereby inform ed th a t all dwellings, advertised in this n e w s p a p e r a re a v a ila b le on a n e q u a l opportunity baste. A ny h o m e seeker w h o feels h e or she has e n c o u n te re d discrimi natio n should c o n ta c t the: HUD O ffic e o f Fair Housing 10 C a u s e w a y Street, Boston, M A 02222-1092 (617)5 6 5 -5 3 0 9 or V erm ont H um an Rights Commission 135 S tate Street. D raw er 33 M ontpeilec VT 05633-6301 800-416-2010 Fax: 802-828-2480

THERE IS A BETTER WAY! Advertise your rental property in SEVEN DAYS "The Woolen Mill has been advertising its apartments with Seven Days for about six months, and we have been very pleased with the number of qualified applicants we've received. Seven Days is a great place to advertise - the price is right and the results are impressive." - Tricia Ellingwood Property Manager Woolen Mill Apartments, Winooski For just £10 you can advertise your apartment, condo, house or office in Seven Days. • Reach nearly 60,000 readers in Northwestern & Central Vermont • Thousands more on-line!

Call Jess at 864-5684 to place your ad today!

18B I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVEN DAYS

iil O N T H E R O A D V E H IC L E S

► automotive CHEVROLET CAVALIER Z24, 2001, coupe 2 dr., black, 4cyl/2.4L, 5 spd., FWD. 24,918 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass,, ABS, rear spoil er. Best price, $10,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. CHEVROLET PRIZM, 2001, sedan, 4 dr., red, 4-cyl/1.8L, auto., FWD. 20,462 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM, dual front air bags. Best price, $7990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. MERCURY GRAND MARQUIS, 1990, Luxury Edition. Just up from Florida, always garaged 8c maintained, show room condi tion. Light blue/grey with navy vinyl top 8c velour interior. Luxury model, all options, fuel injection, 5.0L, 74K highway miles, new snow tires. $3700. 802-482-4995. NISSAN MAXIMA SE, 2002, sedan, 4 dr., gray, V6/3.5L, auto., FWD. 24,810 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $18,755. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

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OLDSKOBILE BRAVADA, 2000, sport utility, 4 dr., beige/tan, V6/4.3L, auto., AWD. 36,019 miles, A/C, PS, PW, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., ABS, leather. Best price, $16,875. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

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0LDSM0B1LE INTRIGUE GL. 1998, sedan, 4 dr., white, V6/3.8L, auto., FWD. 54,454 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., ABS, traction control, leather. Best price, $8590. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. OLDSMOBILE INTRIGUE GX, 1999, sedan, 4 dr., blue, V6/3.5L, auto., FWD. 26,208 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., dual front air bags, ABS. Best price, $9790. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. SAAB 9000 CDT, 1992, blue sedan, auto., leather interior. Well maintained, no rust. Nokia snow tires and all season radials. High mileage, but still drives great. $2200. 828-3224, days, 253-1908, eves. SUBARU IMPREZA, 1994, sedan, 127K miles, AWD, 5 spd. Good winter tires. Clean, no sig nificant rust. Blue book, $2400. 802-454-8404. TOYOTA COROLLA VE, 2000, sedan, 4 dr., white, 4-cyl/1.8L, auto., FWD. 43,599 miles, A/C, PS, AM/FM cass./tlual front air bags. Best price, $7990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

GreenMountainCars.com Over 2000 used cars, trucks and SUVs with photos and details from Vermont Dealers.

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VW JETTA GLS, 2000, blue, 4cyl/2.0L, engine, manual shift, PL, PW, power mirrors, cruise control. Leather, moon roof, alloy wheels, cassette, CD, pre mium sound. 4 all-season tires and 4 studded winter tires. 37K miles. Asking $13,900/0B0. Todd, 878-8514 x49.

VW JETTA GLS, 1998, sedan, 4 dr., green, 4-cyl/2.0L, 5 spd., FWD. 52,321 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM cass., dual front air bags, flip-up roof. Best price, $8996. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

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STRUGGLING YOUNG MAN des perately seeking a reliable auto mobile. In need of a very afford able or FREE car for work. Your donation may be tax deductible. 598-3193.

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DODGE CARAVAN, 2000, minivan, green, 4-cyl/2.4L, auto., FWD. 25,465 miles, second slid ing door, 7 passenger, A/C, PS, AM/FM cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $8990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. PLYMOUTH VOYAGER SE, 2000, minivan, silver, V6/3.3L, auto., FWD. 33,510 miles, sec ond sliding door, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., dual front air bags. Best price, $11,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. PONTIAC MONTANA, 2002, ext. minivan, 4 dr., white, V6/3.4L, auto., FWD. 28,023 miles, 7 pas senger seating, A/C, rear air, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., ABS, roof rack, privacy glass. Best price, $17,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

CHEVROLET BLAZER, 2000, sport utility, 4 dr., beige/tan, V6/4.3L, auto., 4WD. 30,120 miles, LT, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags, ABS. Best price, $15,990. Call Sparer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. CHEVROLET TRACKER, 2000, sport utility, 4 dr., blue, 4cyl/2.0L, auto., 4WD. 29,748 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags, roof rack. Best price, $11,890. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

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► SUVS

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FORD RANGER, 2001, super cab, 4 dr., blue, V6/4.0L, auto., 4WD. 19,265 miles, XLT, A/C, PS, cruise, AM/FM/CD, ABS, stepside bed. Best price, $15,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. NISSAN PICKUP, 1991, w/cap, black, auto., RWD. Recent brakes, shock's, tires. Runs great. 125K miles. $1150. Call evenings or leave message any time. 864-1172.

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CHITTENDCN COUNTY TRANSPORTATION AUTHORITY

NISSAN PATHFINDER LE, 1999.5, sport utility, 4 dr., beige/tan, V6/3.3L, auto., 4WD. 34,326 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD, dual front air bags. Best price, $18,980. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212. PONTIAC AZTEK, 2002, sport utility, 4 dr., maroon, V6/3.4L, auto., AWD. 16,214 miles, A/C, PS, PW, PL, cruise, AM/FM/CD cass., front/side air bags, ABS. Best price, $17,990. Call Shearer Pontiac, 802-658-1212.

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SEVEN DAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I 7Dclassifieds 19B

WELLNESSAAHHHHH... *► massage 90 MINUTES OF RELAXATION and rejuvenation for only $50. The perfect gift for yourself and loved ones. Feel your best Emily Kniffin, Massage Therapist, 651-7579. AROMATHERAPY/SHAMANIC JOURNEY: Healing massage for men. Realize your full potential through a massage/journey experience. Peaceful country set ting. Call Steven 434-5653. AROUSING THE BODY AND SOUL MASSAGE for men with Sergio Corrales, CMT. December Special, second massage free with new booking. Reactivate the unity between body and soul through Reiki and Deep Tissue Massage. In/out calls accepted. Burlington area. 324-8235. BLISSFUL HEALING by Molly Segelin. Massage Therapist who puts the glow back in your mind, body and spirit, while therapeu tically releasing tension and healing pain. Special offer, $40 for 75 mins. Gift certificates available. For appointments call 598-4952. COUPLES MASSAGE: In the same room or next door to each other. Great for first-timers or stubborn partners. Will travel Gift certificates available. Call Christina or Carter at 658-4316. ESCAPE THE COLD and experi ence warmth and total relaxation with massage this winter. Combi nation of Shiatsu and Swedish will transport you and heated stones will melt you. Call Kristin 8621231 for appointment

JOY OF BEING HEALING ARTS: Intuitive, integrated body work. Energy healing, Swedish, Thai, Shiatsu, Craniosacral Therapy, Reflexology, REIKI, LaStone Therapy, deep tissue. Ten years of experience. Gift certificates available. Nancy Bretschneider, LMT, 363-5282/434-4447i METTA TOUCH, Thai Yoga Massage: Integration of gentle stretching, massage accupressure techniques. Release stress & become energized! Blythe Kent, Certified Practitioner. Downtown Burlington, flexible schedule. 862-2212. THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE SERVICES/MYOTHERAPY: Relief and pain erasure for chronic, recurring, nagging pain: neck, back, shoulder, carpal tunnel, tendonitis, headaches, sciatica. Certified Therapist, 11 years. 802-288-1093, Williston (near Taft Corners).

► space for rent BURLINGTON: Part-time mas sage therapy space available downtown. Massage Therapy and Healing Arts, 270 College St. Call 651-7832 or 862-8008.

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► reiki HEALING SPIRIT is a practice that utilizes a variety of healing energies such as Reiki and Shamanistic-based earth princi ples to help you identify and understand your energetic issues. Call 802-777-8448 to make your appointment or visit www.healingspiritvt.com.

► support groups FREESTYLER SUPPORT GROUP FOR MEN: Starting support group for crossdressing men who are interested in freedom of fashion to wear skirts, blouses, hose, etc I would like to hold meetings in the Burlington area. Please contact Joel or Jill atjlo@together.net or call 453-3529. DIVORCED, SEPARATED & NEVER MARRIED MEN. Meet one Saturday night, each month in Burlington area to play cards, play ping pong, laugh, order pizza and shoot the breeze. Drop in as you please. Call 879-0231. CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER: Individuals caring for family members, neighbors and friends discuss common issues, share ideas and receive support. Faith United Methodist Church, S. Burlington, Thursday, October 24, 10 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. Free. Info, 860-4414; * SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL VIO LENCE: Form contacts and dis cuss ways to begin healing. Women's Rape Crisis Center, Burlington, 6-7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 864-0555.

DIVORCED PEOPLE: If you are separated, thinking of separat ing, in the process of divorce, or just divorced, I'm thinking about starting a loose group where such people can get together and talk, whine, have some fun, and maybe even get together. Perhaps there is life after him or her. If interested email Bob at bberman@ttiglobal.com or call/lv msg. at 802-388-0779. BEYOND SURVIVAL: A self-help support group for women healing from childhood sexual abuse. Tuesdays, 6:30 p.m.-7:30 p.m. 658-3198. WIDOWS & WIDOWERS: Looking for persons interested in forming a support group for activities in the Burlington area. Info, 656-3280. "HELLENBACH" CANCER SUP PORT: Every other Wednesday, 6:30 p.m. Middlebury. Call to verify meeting place. Info, 388-6107. People living with cancer and their caretakers convene for support DEBTORS ANONYMOUS: Mon., 6-7 p.m. Wed. 6:45-8:30 p.m. Sat. 10-11:30 a.m. For info call Brenda at 985-5655. BURLINGTON MEN'S GROUP: Ongoing Tuesdays, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 434-4830. Area men are invit ed to join this weekly group for varied discussions and drumming. PROSTATE CANCER: The second and fourth Tuesday of the month, 5 p.m. Board Room of Fanny Allen Hospital, Colchester. Info, 800-639-1888. This "manto-man" support group deals with disease. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various loca tions. Free. Info, 863-2655. Overeaters get support in addressing their problem.

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BATTERED WOMEN: Wednesdays, 6:30-8 p.m. & Monday, 6-7:30 p.m. Burlington. Info, 658-1996. Women Helping Battered Women facilitates groups in Burlington. ALZHEIMER'S CAREGIVERS: Burlington, meets at Birchwood Terrace, 2nd & 4th Wed., at 1:30. Colchester, meets at FAHC, Fanny Allen Campus, 1st Thurs. of month at 3 and 7 p.m. Shelburne, meets at The Arbors, 2nd Tues of month at 10 a.m. ADULTS EXPERIENCING THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE: 2 Wed. evenings a month. First Congregational Church, Burlington. Info., 434-4159. DEMENTIA & ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE FOR CAREGIVERS: Barre, meets at Rowan Ct, 4th Wed. of month at 3 p.m. Montpelier, 338 River St., 2nd Wed. of month at 7 p.m. FAMILY AND FRIENDS OF HEROIN USERS: 2nd and 4th Thursday every month, 6-7 p.m. at ACT 1/Bridge at 184 Pearl St, Burlington. Info, 860-3567. WOMEN HELPING BATTERED WOMEN: Mon. 5:30-7 p.m. Open to younger women 18-26 who have been or are currently being abused. Childcare provided. Call 658-1996 for referral. WOMEN'S CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: UHC campus, 1 South Prospect St., Arnold 2 Resource Rm. Every 1st and 3rd Mon., 56:30 p.m. Call 847-8400 for info. BRAIN INJURY: Open to people who sustained a brain injury, their caregivers & family. Expert speakers often scheduled. 1st Wed. of every month, 6-8 p.m. Fanny Allen Campus, Colchester. Call Deb Parizo, 863-8644.

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ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: Daily meetings in various loca tions. Free. Info, 860-8382. Want to overcome a drinking problem? Take the first step of 12 and join a group in your area. AL-ANON: Ongoing Wednesdays, 8 p.m. First Congregational Church, N. Winooski Ave., Burlin gton. Free. Info, 655-6512. Seven other locations also. Info, 860-8388. Do you have a friend or relative with an alcohol prob lem? Al-Anon can help. DOMESTIC AND SEXUAL VIO LENCE: WomenSafe offers free, confidential support groups in Addison County for women who have experienced domestic or sexual violence. Please call 3884205 for info. NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS: Ongoing daily groups. Various loca tions in Burlington, S. Burlington and Plattsburgh. Free. Info, 8624516. If you're ready to stop using drugs, this group of recovering addicts can offer inspiration. EMOTIONS ANONYMOUS: Fridays, 6-7 p.m. Martin Luther King Lounge, Billings, UVM, Burlington. Free. Info, 8993006. This 12-step program is designed to help women and men with depression, negative thinking or any mental or emo tional problem. SEX AND LOVE ADDICTS ANONYMOUS: Sundays, 7 p.m. Free. Info, write to P.0. Box 5843, Burlington, 05402. Get help through this weekly 12-step program. PARENTS OF YOUNG ADULTS USING HEROIN: Educational support groups forming in Burlington. Free. Info, 8591230. If you suspect your child is using heroin or other opiates, this group offers an opportunity to learn and strategize.

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The Health and Wellness Issue

I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

, 20B

FLYN M SPACE AT

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FLYNN

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Carry TALA

jazz cabaret

TALA With Cabot School Creative Music Ensemble & 3 5 th Parallel

C a rd !

Saturday, January 4 at 8 pm

"Testing the boundaries of genre, delicately exploring the primal energy of jazz through a global eye (Times-Argus, Montpelier)

BEGINNING DECEMBER 3 0 , 2002

With Brian Boyes, trumpeter/composer; Michael Chomey, saxo phone; Rob Morse bass; Gabe Jarrett, drums; Simeon Darley Chapin, percussion; Zach Tonnissen and Noah BernsteinHanley, saxophones; Tom Morse, trumpet and flugelhom; members of the Cabot School Creative M usic Ensemble and 35th Parallel

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Jeff Salisbury

Percussion Quartet Saturday, January 11 at 8 pm

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SEVENDAYS

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SEVENDAYS

Sunday, January 5 at 2 pm “The poetry comes to life through puppets and black lights." (Bar Harbor Times) Mermaid Theatre Company of Nova Scotia returns with two delightful Flynn family favorites, making superb use of colorful flourescent puppets, black lights, and playful music to tell these tales adapted from the clas sic books by Eric Carle.

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SEVENDAYS I december 26, 2002-january 08,2003 I funnies 2IB

P *

RED MEAT Hey Milkman Dan. My momma told me I had to thank you for those little snack cakes you brought by yesterday.

k n u ck le-b on e sk id m a rk s

I don’t know...they tasted kind of weird, but I guess they were okay.

M ATT

0£H)KJ6

f r o m th e s e c r e t f ile s o f

MQ* c a n n o n Glad you enjoyed them, Karen. Personally, I don’t understand why they’d call them “sanitizing deodorant cakes’.’..I just can’t imagine that they taste anything like cake.

22B I december 26, 2002-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

BY ROB BREZSNY___________________________________ You can call Rob Brezsny, day or n igh t for your expanded w eekly horoscope. 1-900-950-7700. $1.99 per m inute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone.

D E C E M B E R 26-JA N U A R Y 1

ARIES

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Here’s my favorite thing about being an astrologer: I’ve been able to study my own horoscope to discern what qualities I lack, and then try to correct those lacks. For instance, I have no planets in Aries in my natal chart. But armed with that knowledge, I’ve worked for years to develop the strengths you Rams are famous for: a single-minded sense of purpose, a fiery knack for burning away the obstacles to my dreams, a restless passion to keep reinventing myself and a reverence for adventures that compel me to build more courage. In 2003, I urge you to recommit yourself to culti vating all these beautiful talents, which are your birthright. I also suggest you identify the part of you that’s weakest, and use your native Aries dynamism to bolster it.

TAURUS

(Apr. 20-May 20): Professional trend analysts are touting the concept of “medievalizing” for 2003. They say we’ll be retreating into feudal self-protectiveness, cloistering ourselves from war, terrorism and eco nomic recession. It’s the old concept of cocooning, multiplied tenfold. Accord ing to my astrological analysis, you Bulls are already well underway in pur suing a healthier version of this hom ing instinct. You’re being driven mostly out of love, not fear. As a result, you’re raising the art of nesting to aesthetic new heights. I predict that you will continue to become more comfortable in profound and enlivening ways in the coming months.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20): Sand castles are icons of ephemerality. They’re best built in the wet sand left behind on the beach when the tide goes out; they’re demolished when the tide comes back in a few hours later. I’d like to make them one of your sacred emblems for 2003. In doing so,

I don’t mean to imply that your cer tainties will be any less transitory than usual. Rather, it’s my way of urging you to capitalize on the fleeting nature of all things, which should be one of your specialties in the coming months. As the Buddhist monk and genius Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Thanks to impermanence, everything is possible.”

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): I make a distinction between emotions and feelings. Emotions are instinctual reactions, often negative, that aren’t necessarily appropriate to the events that seem to stimulate them. For instance, you can just as easily become angry, sad or jealous when you’ve mis interpreted a person’s actions as when you have understood them correctly. Feelings, on the other hand, are oneof-a-kind responses that arise in reso nance to the unique qualities of a spe cific moment. You may, for example, be filled with a wistfully sweet sense of loss as you take a walk in the misty twilight after achieving a dream that commanded your attention for a long time. With these ideas as a guide, Cancerian, I suggest you make your emotions more objective in 2003, even as you cultivate the idiosyncrasies of your feelings.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): I predict that you will come into possession of some real magic in 2003: something equivalent to pixie dust or mystical beans or an enchanted potion. But coming into possession of it and being able to use it successfully are two sepa rate matters. There’s no guarantee you’ll know how to make it work for you. Here are a few guidelines that should help: 1. Don’t speak about your lucky stuff to anyone unless they absolutely need to know. 2. Before using it to change your life, practice with it once or twice in a low-risk situ

ation. 3. Make sure it harms no one.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Tony was the roughest, toughest dude

in my high school class. He organized midnight drag races down suburban streets when he was 14, sold vodka on the playground at 1 5 , and shaved his pimples off with razor blades in the boys’ bathroom at 16. He took boxing lessons throughout his adolescence, and by the time he graduated, he’d gotten two girls pregnant. I lost touch with him when I moved away. Years later, though, I ran into a mutual friend who’d stayed in contact with Tony. My friend said he’d become a policeman — and a pretty good one at that. Let Tony’s transformation serve as one of your guiding metaphors for 2003, Virgo. I predict that the most unredeemed part of you — your inner Tony — will undergo an amazing con version.

non will arise in 2003. Called the “home-church” movement by Christ ians and the “home-synagogue” move ment by Jews, it will consist of people creating altars and conducting worship sessions in their own abodes. Seekers pursuing this approach to spiritual communion will be their own priests, priestesses and rabbis. I believe that there will be a disproportionately high percentage of Scorpios leading this phenomenon.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): My acquaintance Alan

was telling me about the journey he’s planning. Along with his wife, twoyear old daughter and six-month-old son, he’ll fly to Turkey, where they’ll launch a 20 -month bicycle trip around Asia and Europe. As a father myself, I was stunned. “How are you going to handle the diapers?!” I marveled in dis belief. “We’ll work it out somehow,” Alan said without a trace of anxiety. Since I don’t know him well, I was (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): unsure whether to pity him for his Your lucky number for 2003 will be naivet^ or admire him for his easy 1.6180339887, also known as phi. In his book The Golden Ratio: The Story o f going audacity. I bring this up, Sagittarius, because I think it’s likely Phi, the World’s Most Astonishing that in the coming months you’ll have Number, astrophysicist Mario Livio a comparable version of Alan’s great asserts that it has been a key factor in adventure. While I’m worried you creating many beautiful objects, from won’t plan very well about how to han the Mona Lisa to Stradivarius violins to the Great Pyramid. Also known for dle details like dirty diapers on a bicy hundreds of years as the divine propor cle tour, maybe your easy-going audac ity will make my concerns irrelevant. tion, 1.6180339887 is renowned as exquisitely harmonious and useful. I (Dec. 22-'1 ’ believe that everything I just said about it, dear Libra, should be applied Jan. 19): Time travel will be one of the top metaphors of the year for you in to the effects you can have on your 2003. That’s not to say you’ll be cho world in the coming months. sen as a subject in an experiment (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): involving a time machine — though you may sometimes feel as if you’ve As public schools continue to decline actually been transported into the past and private schools become more or future. The potential downside to expensive, increasing numbers of par ents are home-schooling their children. this is that you might get confused I predict that an analogous phenome about where you are in your long-term

LIBRA

CAPRICORN

SCORPIO

cycle. A psychic version of jet lag could periodically creep in. The upside is that you will have an unprecedented chance to weave together previously disparate threads of your life. Past events that have never quite made sense will acquire new meaning; future dreams that have been too vague to pursue will finally come into focus.

AQUARIUS Gan. 20-Feb. 18): I believe you should throw far

more water balloons than usual in 2003. It would also be smart of you to enjoy pillow fights and spitting con tests more frequently. Furthermore, I feel that in the coming months you should start more good-natured argu ments and seek out more entertaining conflicts. My analysis of the astrologi cal omens suggests, in fact, that you will derive great benefit from skirmish ing with opposing forces as long as you maintain a spirit of fun and adventure.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): In our previews of the future, we

astrologers are accurate and helpful at least as often as weather forecasters, economists who predict the financial future and lifestyle trend consultants. On the other hand, like those other three types of prognosticators, we astrologers are sometimes wrong or misleading; our advice should not be regarded as the word of God. Please keep this clearly in mind as you read my horoscopes in 2QQ3. All the cosmic omens suggest it will be crucial for you to become far more discriminating than ever before in the coming months. I encourage you to super charge your analytical powers as you question every authority, expert, teacher, leader and guru.

last week's answers on page 21B

'X~s9*

5 2 C o n ta m ACRO SS inates 1 W W II site 7 Seren ity 5 5 Bu tz or W arren 12 B r a z o s R iv er city 5 6 S a p p o ro sash 16 C lerical ga rb 5 7 Tactful 5 9 C o n s id e r 19 Point the fin ger at 61 Ford flop 6 3 M a in e 20 Synthetic town fiber 64 S p a c e 21 Christiania, 66 Al — today (co o k in g 22 R e m o te term) 2 3 R iddle; P a rti 6 7 Lear, to G o n eril 2 5 G e rsh w in ’s 6 9 Riddle: “— in B lu ePart 3 2 7 Beatty or 7 4 F leu r-de— Buntline 7 5 D e se rt 28 G a g g le g a l sc h le p p e r 2 9 W a tch part 30 Fountain 77 — Rom eo order 7 8 H e e p of D ic k e n s 31 R o c k e r 8 0 C o e u r d ’— , M a rc ID 33 N ature 81 C arto o n ist spirit Silverstein 36 S a b le , for 8 3 H ard to one d e sc rib e 38 L ee of "T h e Fall G u y 8 8 Hurried 8 9 Little o n e 41 C a n ta 91 Prate lo u pe 's 92— 4 co u sin 43 T ea m (Toyota 44 Sk ate r m odel) B e re z h n a y a 93 Riddle: Part 4 45 B le a k 98 L o afer part critique 99 G la d d e n 46 Riddle: 101 A la n of Part 2 “G itligan ’s 51 P a p u a N e w Islan d " G u in e a port

102 Frequent Funicello c o -sta r 104 S c a n ty 105 R o ller c o a ste r feeling 108 1970 W o rld ’s F air site 109 Chatterley or W inderm ere 110 Director N ic o la s 111 S k ip 113 T urbin e part 116 — G o n c a lo , Brazil 119 A v o id a n c e 121 A n s w e r to riddle 1 2 5 Sw e ll p la c e ? 1 2 6 A cto r B arry 1 2 7 M u rcia m ister 128 Farm a d o le sc e n t 129 W e a k e n 1 3 0 — N e is s e Line 131 Early G e rm a n 132 S p a n is h — DOW N 1 Cut 2 Flu sym p to m 3 Like s o m e d o n u ts 4 G ro a n p ro du cer

5 Shake sp e a re a n sn ak e 6 E q u in e e x c la m a tions 7 K e lly’s p ossu m 8 G o o fs 9 T abloid su b je cts 10 D o t follower 11 M in n e so ta tw in s? 12 Merit 13 7 5 W im b le d o n w inner 14 M o re hum id 15 “A l le y — " 16 In p ro g r e s s 17 S o u p sc o o p 18 A d a m s o r Ferry 2 4 A cto r Chaney 2 6 It n e e d s to b e thre ad ed 2 9 B o o m or gaff 31 Sw in d le 32 W in d in strum e n t? 3 4 Sp itz s o u n d 35 E x e c 's d e g. 3 7 Perplexe d 3 8 B len d 3 9 Ja i — 4 0 A rm y vehicle 41 “M a k in ’ W hoopee" s in g e r 4 2 P ro foe

4 3 “T h e K in g a n d I" setting 4 5 B re n d e l’s instrum ent 4 7 P ig sk in prop 48 M u b a ra k of Egypt 4 9 H e lp s a hood 5 0 M o s a ic bit 53 S in g e r Tori 54 Torah, e.g. 58 S h a d e of g re e n 59 R e a lm 60 B ig bird 62 In dian city 65 O v e n setting 67 — L a m a 6 8 Im p ro ve 7 0 — kw on d o 71 L o n d o n b o ro u gh 7 2 F u rio u s 7 3 Sh o rt m o v ie ? 75 Funny fellow 7 6 D e a d ly 7 9 "It's a d e a ll" 81 — terrier 8 2 Drill s e rg e a n t’s sh o u t 8 4 W e st. a llian ce 8 5 Im p ro ve o ne se lf, in a w ay 8 8 B e h in d sc h e d u le

87 A lw a y s 90 A g e d , a s p ap er 94 Poultry se rving 9 5 C o b b le r ’s nee d 9 6 Palindrom ic n am e 9 7 A s ia n ox 100 N onclerical 103 It’s dow n in the m outh 104 V a n d e lla s' leader 105 Lock 106 Biblical b oo k 10 7 S u m m a riz e 108 O c e a n v e sse l 10 9 Christie or C o ste llo 112 Lion ’s pride 114 Melville work 115 Like H itchcock’s curtain 116 C o u c h 117 S e rv e d well 118 C re ole v e g gie 1 2 0 — trip 121 Ltr. addenda 1 2 2 W h e re flo cks frolic 123 “Tell — N o C S S hit) 124 O u ter edge

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SEVENDAYS I december 26-january 08, 2003 I 7D p erson als 23B

PERSONALS » pltx ce o n e f o r f r e e

what's th a t?

2 3 Y O . B F , L O O K IN G F O R A F U N , C A S U A L r e la t io n s h ip . S e e k in g c o lle g e e d u c a t e d M , 2 0 -3 0 Y O .4 9 2 4

P e tite DWF, m id - s o ’s . M e : C a re b e a r, b rig h t, h a p p y , h e a lth y , c o n s id e ra te , fin a n c ia lly / e m o t io n a lly s ta b le , g re a t s e n s e o f h u m o r,

ASIAN

BLACK

to g e th e rn e s s . N S /N A /N D . Y o u : S a m e . 4 9 2 2

h ik in g , c o o k in g , g re a t fo o d , lo n g ta lk s , a n im a ls ,

BISEXUAL

2 5 Y O , P R E T T Y , O U T G O IN G , A N I M A L L O V E R . s in g le m o m , lo o k in g fo r a “ g o o d m a n ” , w it h

COUPLE

w a lk . If y o u h a v e c h ild r e n a n d a n im a ls , e v e n

CROSS DRESSER

b e tte r. F r ie n d s o r LTR, le t ’s s e e w h a t t r a n

DIVORCED

FEMALE

F2M

S O U T H O F M O N T P E L I E R , IN T E R E S T E D IN

fo n S W F 2 2 . ISO in t e llig e n t, h a r d w o r k in g ,

f r ie n d s h ip a n d r o m a n t ic c o n n e c t io n s w ith

a d v e n tu re s , c re w o r s k ip p e r. M u s t b e k id / p e t

h e a lt h - c o n s c io u s , a ttr a c tiv e , r e s p e c tfu l, a n d

m e n , 4 5 - 5 5 , w h o h a v e s im ila r in t e r e s t s s u c h

frie n d ly , e m o t io n a lly a n d f in a n c ia lly a b le ,

p la y fu l S M , N S /N D , 2 2 -2 8 , in t e r e s t e d in t a k in g

a s h ik in g , b ik in g , p la y in g m u s ic a n d d a n c in g .

e d u c a te d . P re fe r sk ie r, d a n c e r, v is u a l le a rn e r,

it" s lo w . I lo v e t ra v e lin g , r e a d in g , c u lt u r a l

B e r e a d y f o r f u n a n d f o r d e v e lo p in g a lo v in g

m u s e u m fa n , p ro g re s s iv e . N o c a p ta in B ly e s ,

a c t iv it ie s , a n d o u t d o o r s p o rts ! 4 4 2 3 ____________

r e la t io n s h ip . I h a v e s u m m e r s off! 4 4 1 3

B A G G A G E H A N D L E R : B Y N O W (4 0 s) W E A L L

L E T S C E L E B R A T E T H E D A N C E O F LIFE &

S W P F , 4 0 - S O M E T H I N G , Y O U T H F U L , P E T IT E ,

h a v e s o m e . I’ ll h a n d le m in e , y o u h a n d le

e x p lo r e it s u n iq u e m a g ic

h o n e s t, c re a tiv e , e x p re s s iv e , s p ir it u a l h e d o n is t,

y o u r s . W e e n jo y t h e r e s t o f t h e t r ip lo v in g ,

y o u t h f u l, a t tr a c t iv e , w a rm , s p ir it u a l, w h o

e m o t io n a lly m a tu re . E n jo y s: N a tu re , o u t d o o r

la u g h in g , t h u s lig h t e n in g it a s w e g o .

e n jo y s t e n n is , d a n c e , t r a v e l & h ik in g . S e e k s

a c tiv itie s , d in in g o u t, c u lt u r a lly d iv e rs if ie d

S e n s ib le , p a s s io n a t e , 5 V , 1 4 0 lb s .,

g e n t le m a n , 4 5 - 6 2 , w h o is k in d , in t e llig e n t,

in te re s ts , m u s ic , tra v e l, in te lle c tu a |/s illy b a n te r.

b lu e / b r o w n , re a d e r. M o n t p e lie r a re a . IS O

s o u lf u l, r o m a n t ic a n d o p e n t o p o s s ib le

ISO : Fit, a v a ila b le m a n w ith s im ila r tra its /

m a te . 4 4 1 9 _______________________________________

m u t u a lly n o u r is h in g LTR. 4 4 0 7 _________________

D O Y O U T R E A T A W O M A N W IT H R E S P E C T ,

S P IR IT E D , W A R M , M ID -L IF E T R A V E L E R , R E A D Y

in te re s ts fo r frie n d s h ip /fu n . N o a lc o h o lic s /

CHRISTIAN

L E T T H E S P A R K S FL Y ! S W E E T , C U T E A N D

L E T S S T A R T T H E N E W Y E A R TO GETH ERI

G Y P S Y P IR A T E Q U E E N S E E K S O F F S H O R E d ru id fo r la k e /o c e a n ra ce a n d c ru is e

T a u ru s’ , ju g h u g g e rs .4 7 1 0 _______________________

a d v e n tu ro u s . L o v e c u d d lin g , e tc., d a n c in g ,

s im ila r in t e r e s t s . C a ll f o r t h o s e , le t s g o f o r a

s p ir e s . 4 9 0 7 _____________________________________ S W F , 4 8 . L O O K IN G F O R M A N W H O L O V E S t o d a n c e in th e k it c h e n w h ile m a k in g d in n e r. M u s t e n jo y la u g h in g , m u s ic , s e n s u a lit y , ro a d

FEMALE-TO-MALE

t r ip s t o n o w h e r e in p a rtic u la r , g o o d w in e ,

a d d ic ts . 4 7 0 5 _____________________________________

t o s h a r e la u g h te r, d re a m s , d a n c in g , q u ie t

m e n ts a re h o w w e c o n d u c t o u r liv e s , f it n e s s

t im e s , c o o k in g s e c re ts , lo n g w a lk s , f r ie n d

fu n , s e n s e o f h u m o r, lo v e s o u t d o o r s p o r t s ,

is a w a y t o e x t e n d life , t h in k s a w o m a n ’s

s h ip , lo v e . D e f in it e ly a c it y g a l, c o u n tr y in n s

a n im a ls , g o o d c o n v e r s a t io n . L o o k in g f o r s im -

la u g h lin e s a re t h e s ig n s o f w is d o m / h a p p i-

f o r re tr e a t a n d ro m a n c e . Y o u a re h o n e s t ,

ila r, 4 2 - 5 0 , p o s s ib le L T R .4 6 4 1 __________________

n e s s . If y o u a re , t h is , P, a t tr a c t iv e , 3 9 Y O ,

o p t im is t ic , k in d , p r o g r e s s iv e , p la y f u l a n d

“ la d y ” w o u ld lik e t o h e a r fr o m ^ 0 9 )4 4 ^ 5

re m e m b e r b ir t h d a y s . 4 4 0 6

S W F , 4 0 , T A L L , S U M , T W O FIN E T E E N A G E R S . M u s ic ia n , c r a f t s p e r s o n , a c t r e s s , g a rd e n e r, s in g e r. P re fe r e n c e s in c lu d e Ja n e A u s t e n , T h e N e w Y o rk e r, W o o d y A lle n , F ra n c e , C o lo r a d o a n d d a r k c h o c o la t e . 4 6 3 4 ______________________

GAY

a p e rfe c t e v e n in g . 4 9 0 4 _________________________

M E: E N V IR O N M E N T A L L Y C O N S C IO U S

S W F , JU L IE T T E B IN O C H E -T Y P E , 4 0 , H A S

c o m m u n ity o rg a n iz e r s e e k in g lik e -m in d e d

HISPANIC IN SEARCH OF

p la y s f id d le . A m a t e u r p a in te r, m a s t e r

JEWISH

s e a m s t r e s s . L ik e s G e o rg e E lio t a n d E lio t

LATINO/A

a n d G e o r g e B u s h . 4 8 8 6 _________________________

LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP

W F , 6 0 s N S , L O O K I N G F O R F U N L O V IN G , c a r

lb s ., e n jo y s th e o u t d o o r s , w o r k in g o u t, d a n c

MALE

in g M . I lik e N F L , s o ’s m u s ic , w a t c h in g s u n -

in g a n d

r is e / s u n s e ts , b in g o , c o f fe e c o n v e r s a t io n .

4 8 , w h o is in t e llig e n t, h o n e s t, s e c u re , fit, fo n ,

MARRIED

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f o r t r ip s to M o n t r e a l a n d B o s t o n . D in in g ,

QUEER

m o v ie s , s h o p p in g , re a l e s t a te . I n te lle c tu a l,

SINGLE

m y s te ry . S W P F ,

n o t t o o r e lig io u s b u t b e lie v e s t h e c o m m a n d

g re a t c o n v e r s a t io n . C a ll m e w it h y o u r id e a o f

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p a rtn e r o r frie n d . 23 , fu n lo v in g , p h y s ic a lly fit, in v o lv e d w ith c o m m u n ity g a rd e n in g , lo v e tra v e lin g , h ik in g , d a n c in g a n d m u s ic . ISO 2 0 s o m e th in g , k in d -s p irite d w in te r p la y m a te ! 4 6 0 9 FIT, F U N A N D P L A Y F U L S W P F , 41 , P E T IT E , 118 m o v ie s . IS O LTR w ith S W P M , N S , 3 7 -

3 0 s , S W F , D E S IR E S T O S H A R E T I M E W IT H e m o t io n a lly m is c h ie v o u s , in n a t e ly r o m a n t ic a n d o r g a n ic a lly s w e e t m a n , 3 0 ’s to 4 0 ’s . C a n y o u d iv e in t o t h e w a t e r a n d r id e t h e w a v e s o f a n e w a d v e n tu re ? C a ll m e ! 4 5 9 6 E A R T H M O T H E R S E E K S S O U L C O N N E C T IO N . 4 9 Y O , S P F F F lo v e s t o la u g h , o u t d o o r s , p ic k flo w e r s , u p lif t in g m o v ie s , h e a lt h y lif e s t y le , t a lk a b o u t w h a t ’s re a l. S p ir it u a lit y , p e r s o n a l

g o a l/ h e a lth o r i e n t e d . 4 8 1 6 ______________________

g ro w th , t r a n s f o r m a t io n im p o r t a n t . F r ie n d s &

M IS C H IE V O U S B R O W N -E Y E D G IR L (A L IA S 5*2,"

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4 0 - 55 -4 53 9 __________________________

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w in t e r fu n lik e s n o w s h o e in g , s k a tin g , la u g h te r,

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c o n s e rv a t iv e e x t e r io r h id e s m y, h m m m . C a re

YEARS OLD

to fin d o u t? N S , S/D . 4811______________________

a t h o m e a n d e a tin g o u t , r e a d in g a n d n a tu re .

D W F , 4 5 , S E E K S S IG N IF IC A N T O T H E R FO R

c re a t iv e , p r a c t ic a l R S V P .4 5 2 7 __________________

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S E A R C H IN G : G E N T L E M A N , 4 5 - 6 5 , A T T R A C T IV E ,

L O O K IN G F O R A F E W G O O D M E N ! ID E A L L Y ,

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N o w s e e k in g s o m e m a le e n e r g y in m y life .

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W A N N A S E E TORI A M O S ? H A V E V IP S E A T S . 2 3 Y O in G o t h ic h ip p ie - s t y le s e e k s lo n g

A T T R A C T IV E , S L E N D E R , D A R K -E Y E D ,

h a ir e d g ru n g e g o d t o a t t e n d T o ri’s c o n c e r t

p r o g r e s s iv e a n d d e lig h t f u l S PF. IS O c re a t iv e

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f o o d t o g e t h e r w it h a g la s s o f w in e in o n e h a n d a n d y o u r lo v e r in t h e o th e r.

4717

CA LL TO R ESPO N D

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Dear Lola, I was appalled to pick up the paper this week and read about butt beads in your column. I was brought up to believe that the human body is a sacred temple, given to us by our creator to care for and revere. Sex is a natural function and should be enjoyed. But sex involving unnatural objects like those you so cavalierly discussed is not natural and should not be encouraged. I would be interested in hearing your response. Shocked in Shoreham Dear Shocked, You're absolutely right, my dear. Our bodies are to be revered, and sex is to be enjoyed. However, to sug gest that it's wrong to include any unnatural objects in the act is simply dumb. Are you ruling out condoms? Diaphragms? And what about lubricants? Please. If you are hell-bent on keeping your love life 100 percent organic, I recommend a visit to the produce section of your local store. Bananas, cherries, grapes, squash — both summer and winter — and various members of the cucurbit family are all more than happy to provide fun, friendly, all-natural alternatives to those mass-pro duced, plastic sex toys you seem to find so upsetting. Love, Lola

1 900 226-8480

or respond the old-fashioned way, call the 900-NUM BER:

m in d e d g u in e a p ig w h o w a n t s t o c re a te a

d a n c in g . If in t e r e s t e d p le a s e r e s p o n d . 4 7 9 2

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24B I december 26-january 08, 2003 I SEVENDAYS

PERSONALS »

pla ce o n e fo r f r e e

I lif e y m a u Y o u life ®

m en>women

D O N 'T H IB E R N A T E T H IS W IN T E R . S W P M , 41, sk ie r, (o n th e h ill, n o t o v e r it) fit, fu n , s e e k s

m , e . ‘W e

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PERSONAL OF THE WEEK e a c h

S F s k ie r / b o a r d e r / s n o w s h o e r f o r d a y t r ip s to m tn s , m a y b e d in n e r, g o o d c o n v e r s a t io n a fter. E x p e rie n c e n o t im p o r ta n t, s e n s e o f h u m o r is . 4908 S W M , 2 4 , B L U E -E Y E D , B L O N D E , R U G G E D h o ttie . E n jo y s d rin k in g . In to p o m , lik e lo v e m a k in g . T w in s w e lc o m e . 4 2 0 frie n d ly . S e e k s

o t h e r .

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b lu e - e y e d a n g e l. S e e k s t o p le a s e , a lit t le n a u g h ty , b u t n ic e , r e fin e d 81 u n p r e t e n t io u s , 4 0 - 5 o is h . F o r h e r: H a n d s o m e , ro m a n tic , d o w n -t o - e a rt h , a t h le t ic , s u c c e s s f u l, a d v e n t u r o u s , e n jo y s h e a lt h y liv in g , n a tu re , th e a te r, a n d t h e f in e r t h in g s in lif e . 4 8 0 7 N IN O K IN D O F G U Y S E E K I N G A M E U E K IN D O F g ir l

-4799 ________________________________________

S W P M , N S , C L E A N C U T , V E R Y U N IQ U E , 3 7 , lo o k i n g fo r f r ie n d s h ip , fu n , a n d LTR. ISO a d v e n t u r e s o m e , h o n e s t , n o n s m o k in g SF, w h o

a ttra ctiv e , 21 -3 0 Y O , fo r s o c ia liz in g a n d c a s u a l

h a s a n d w a n t s m o re c o lo r in h e r life . A ll

se x. D o n ’ t re s p o n d u n le s s y o u r s e r io u s a b o u t

r e p lie s a n s w e r e d . 4 7 9 8 _________________________

b e in g h o t a n d h a v e t r a n s p o r ta tio n . 4 9 0 2

W om en

A C H R IS T M A S G IFT FO R Y O U ! L E T S E X C H A N G E

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40, H A S played Eliza Doolittle and Yum-Yum, now plays fiddle. Amateur painter, master seamstress. Likes George Eliot and Eliot Spitzer. Seeks man who laughs at himself and George Bush. 4886

y o u ’ ll f in d p u re lo v e , c a r in g , a n d k in d n e s s .

f r ie n d s h ip . L e t’s v is it . 4 7 1 8 _____________________

S W F , JU L IE T T E B IN O C H E -T Y P E ,

E a rth in e s s . T h is m id - a g e d ru n n e r, 5 ’ 9 ” , 16 0 lb s ., w rite r, a r t is t h o p e s t o f in d a g ift. O n e o f lo v e , k in d n e s s a n d c a r in g . N S .4 8 9 5 S E E K IN G W O M E N , " A W A R E ” O F T H E "J O Y ” fro m w ith in t h a t w ill b e e x p r e s s e d o u t w a r d ly in r e la t io n s h ip w h e n c o n s o r t in g w it h a n in s ig h t f u l a n d a s p ir in g M , s h e is p r o b a b ly la te 3 o ’s - 4 o ’s . 4 8 9 i _____________________________ P M A S W M , 3 9 , 1 8 0 L B S ., W IT H B R O W N H AIR . I h a v e m a n y in te re s ts a n d w o u ld lik e t o m e e t w o m e n , 3 0 -5 0 , w h o e n jo y s p o rt s p lu s a ll ty p e s o f m u s ic . I h o p e t o m e e t s o m e o n e s p e c ia l. I’m n o t h a z a rd o u s t o y o u r h e a lth . 4 8 8 9 ____________________________________________ F R IE N D S H IP FIR ST ! F IN A N C IA L L Y S E C U R E ,

S W M , M ID 5 0 s , FIT, S O L V E N T , C A S U A L h o n e s t, u n in h ib ite d , d ry h u m o r. E n jo y w o r k in g a t h o m e , r e a d in g , le is u re , f r o lic k in g , c o o k in g , s m a ll d o g s , im p o r te d b e e r, p a m p e rin g , w a rm w a te r, b a n d a n n a s . 4 7 0 3 L IT H E A N D L A N K Y F O R M E R D A N C E R S E E K S p a r t n e r f o r e x p lo r in g h o r s e la t it u d e s . S P M , 4 3 , a t tr a c t iv e , in d e p e n d e n t , g e n ia l, e lig ib le . B o th fe e t p la n t e d fir m ly in c h e e k . E n jo y xc o u n t r y s k iin g , b ik e s , k a y a k s . E n tre s n o u s : C a re t o t r ip t h e lig h t fa n t a s t ic ? 4 7 0 2 __________ 3 7 Y O S M , 5 ’ 7 " , 1 4 0 , B L U E E Y E S . IS O S H O R T , b ig - b re a s te d SF, lik e s TV, k id s , m u s ic , p a rty in g . W o u ld # 4 2 3 4 p le a s e c o n ta c t m e . I’m a s m o k e r a n d d rin k e r. 4 7 0 1

Personal of the week receives the following via mail within one week:

a c tiv e , fit, h u m o ro u s , c o lle g e - e d u c a t e d S P M . S e e k s SW F, 3 3 -4 4 , t o s h a re g o u r m e t c o o k in g , la k e s w im m in g , h ik in g , m o to rc y c lin g , m e a n in g fu l c o n v e rs a tio n a n d y o u r lik e s to o . 4 8 2 8 3 7 , 6 ’ 4 ” , 2 0 0 L B S ., D O W N -T O -E A R T H , c o m p a s s io n a te , y o u n g m a n . I n te re s te d in d a t in g a w o m a n w ith th e s a m e q u a lit ie s w h o is

4 5 Y O , A T T R A C T IV E , D W M S E E K I N G O L D E R w o m a n . I’m t a ll, h a n d s o m e , fu n n y , fr ie n d ly a n d p a s s io n a t e . I’m lo o k in g fo r s o m e o n e w h o n e e d s g o o d t im e s a n d r o m a n c e . W e ig h t, a g e , s t a t u s u n im p o r t a n t . 4 6 9 9 3 6 Y O , S U B A R U M , L O O K IN G F O R S U B A R U w o m a n w ith t w o c o lle g e d e g re e s , n e e d fo r

a ls o g e n tle , h o n e s t a n d r e lia b le . I’m a h o m e -

a d v e n tu re a n d w o r ld s a v in g a ttitu d e . I p la y

o w n e r w h o lik e s b o o k s , re a d in g , w r it in g a n d

lik e a d o g a n d lic k lik e o n e to o . B e a liv e . 4 6 9 6

lis t e n in g to m u s ic .4 8 2 6

T H IS E N D O R S E M E N T B R O U G H T T O Y O U b y

H O PE SAN TA READS PER SO N ALS. PLEA SE

t h e lu c id , m irth fu l F, b e s t frie n d o f o n e o f th e

b rin g m e a w o m a n , 3 0 - 4 8 , w h o is s le n d e r to

fe w r e m a in in g “ g o o d g u y s .” H e: A u th e n tic ,

m e d iu m b u ild , w h o lo v e s t o la u g h , s h a re

c o n s id e r a t e , t a lk a t iv e , a ffe c t io n a t e a n d

s p e c ia l m o m e n ts a n d is a s a f f e c t io n a t e a s I

a p p r o p r ia t e ly g o o fy . Y o u : A t e a s e w ith y o u r-

am . I’m a s m o k e r, 4 2 0 frie n d ly , v e ry lo v in g ,

s e lf a n d o p e n t o t h a t p e s k y lo v e s t u ff.4 6 9 5

m a n y in te re s ts . 4 8 2 4

H IG H M A R K S F O R IN T E G R IT Y A N D H U M O R .

E A R L Y 2 0 s , S W M . H E A L T H C O N S C IO U S ,

S W M , 5 2 , w it h th e g o o d life . M a n y in te re s ts .

sm a rt, funny, h a rd w ork e r, o c c a s io n a l d rin k e r/sm o k e r, 4 2 0 frie n d ly , t o r e s p o n s ib le fo r

m y o w n g o o d . S e e k s a th le tic , WF, 2 0 -2 5 fo r

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LTR. S ta rt s lo w a n d s e e w h e re it ta k e s us! 4 8 2 0

M a n y f r ie n d s . In s h a p e a n d f in a n c ia lly s e c u re , c o lle g e e d u c a te d P. P re fe r p h y s ic a lly fit, a ttr a c t iv e , 3 0 - 5 0 , w it h s e n s e o f h u m o r. 4 6 4 9 C A P I T A L C IT Y C A T C H , S M A R T , P O L IT E , FU N

N E W Y E A R 'S R E S O L U T IO N . D W M T O re d is c o v e r fu n , c o n v e rs a tio n , c a n d le s , s u n ris e s ,

s u n s e ts w ith S/DWF, 40+ , in r e a s o n a b le s h a p e

lo v in g , fit, s lig h t ly d e v i lis h in a g o o d w a y , 3 4 Y O W M . IS O e a s y g o in g , b rig h t , a c t iv e , a lit t le w ild , lik e s t o la u g h , 2 4 - 3 9 Y O F. B e t te r th a n

a n d in d e p e n d e n t. G iv e m e a c a ll a n d s h a re y o u r N e w Year’s re s o lu tio n ! 4 8 1 8

S H F S O U T TH ERE: SW EET, S E N S U A L SEXY

w in t e r ’s b e s t? S h a r in g w it h y o u ! 4 6 4 8

K E L L Y 2 0 0 9 R O M V E R G E N N E S (K IN D L A D Y ISO a d v e n tu ro u s , g e n tle m a n ) a n d M a tc h .c o m . O p e n t h is d o o r a n d s e e w h o is k n o c k in g . L e t’s w a lk

t a lk .4 8 1 2

ETHANENSURE! TERRA INCOGNITA

by eric orner Run out of excuses to ovoid spending the holidays with your partner's family, and finally agree to go.

SPENDING THE HOLIDAYS WITH YOUR LOVER'S

T Y lw m X P lA Y t P F W

I M fA Po W U C T

C Mmm A iu m v V I1 1 » Y

Upon arrival experience acute caffeine withdrawal desperation caused by total lack of acceptable coffee.

M O M TH. H O W S’ * A«H Y .JA A Y W X Y f G O T T N f W fS T J

H A H A A A & H fX S v N fc Y o V i g k r r i E S M iP , 6 ir t t - G i R l !

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(p m tm te)

Spend the 30-odd hours of transit involved regretting your decision & gauging whether you could pull off emergency illness requiring cancellation.

lp tS T * $ h l..J M

Get dragged off to beloved contest Featuring famous rivals you never heard of •••

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w o o d s , m o u n t a in s t r e a m s , w in d y r id g e s , t a ll

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earthy, 3 5 -4 7 , fit, N S , s e r io u s ly s e e k in g LTR.

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a t h le t ic t y p e y o u n g g u y, B u r lin g t o n a re a .

n e o u s , lo v e to g o o u t d a n c in g , m o v ie s , d in in g . Q u ie t tim e s a t h o m e . Y o u th e s a m e . H o p e to h e a r fro m y o u la d ie s . 4 6 1 8

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m u s ic , t h e a t re a n d ju s t la u g h in g . N S , 2 3 -2 9 .

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s e e k in g s o la c e , c o m p a s s io n a n d a ffe c t io n

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lik e m y s e lf a p lu s . 4 8 2 2 ________________________ 3 7 Y O S W F , S O F T B U T C H , W H O IS H O N E S T ,

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le a s h , r id in g c ro p . M e n o r C U ’s, 1 8 -4 0 . H a n g m e n a k e d a n d h a v e y o u r fu n . D o w h a t e v e r p le a s e s y o u . I n te r e s te d ? 4 6 4 5 H E Y G U Y ! C H E C K IT O U T ! 4 0 s , G W M , H U S K Y , h a iry , a t tr a c t iv e , t o p - t y p e s e e k in g fu n t im e s & m o re . H u m o r, n o b a rs o r d r u n k s , p re fe r n o n w h ite b u t? Sh y, c lo s e t e d ju s t f in e . 4 6 4 4 I L IK E E Q U IP M E N T , T R U C K S , C O N S T R U C T IO N

e n e r g y to b u m s e e k s o t h e r h ig h - e n e rg y d o g s f o r p la y d a t e s in L a m o ille C o u n ty . H a v e y o u r p e o p le c a ll m y 010^ 1,4636

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e y e s , m e s m e r iz in g , a n d y o u r c o n v e r s a t io n , t it illa t in g . Y o u ’v e g o t s o m e b u t t o n th a t a s s !

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fe w g la n c e s . L e t’s h a v e te a a n d ta lk . Tw o p o ts m a y b e ? 4 9 2 0

L O O K IN G F O R A S E C R E T , S E X P A R T N E R , W H O FR I., 12/6: Y O U H A M M E R I N G A T V F W S T O R E

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n e e d s e r v ic e . N o c h u b s . N o s t r in g s a t ta c h e d .

o v e r X m a s b r e a k . W ill y o u b e m y t e d d y

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b e a r? 4 9 1 3 1 2 /7, M A IN S T ., 1 :3 0 A .M .: Y O U : M , B R O W N h a ir, g re a t s m ile . Y o u b u m p e d in to m e, “ Excu se m e ,” ( s m o o th ly ) . W e m a d e e y e c o n ta c t. M e: D u m b s t r u c k b ru n e t t e w ith frie n d . I s a id n o t h in g . W a n te d to le t y o u k n o w y o u can

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m o re . S e e k in g G W M , 2 2 -3 5 , to s h a re h o m e , c o m p a n io n s h ip , lo v e a n d life w it h . 4 4 4 9 I A M L O O K IN G F O R M A L E S , 1 8 -3 0 , IN T H E B a rre a re a , w h o a re w illin g to le t m e g iv e th e m o ra l. W o u ld lik e to fin d s o m e o n e to

s h o r t o n t im e , a n d s t ill g lo w in g . M e : N o t th e b u z z a r d w it h th e w ire a n d s u f f e r in g fro m t e m p o r a r y a p h a s ia .

Y O U R E S P O N D E D T O M Y A D (B O N E S ) B U T d id n ’ t le a v e a c le a r m e s s a g e a n d le ft w ith

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s o m e t h in g : M y h e a rt. L e t’s g e t m a r rie d a n d

d e s c r ip t io n a n d p h o n e n u m b e r . 4 4 4 4 G W M , 3 2 , S E E K S C A R IN G G U Y T O S N U G G L E U P w ith in t h is c o ld w e a th e r. L o o k in g fo r a y o u n g e r g u y to h a n g o u t w it h , w o r k o u t w ith , g o o u t w ith , m a k e o u t w it h . Fit, in t e llig e n t a n d ro m a n tic , s e e k in g s a m e . F irs t tim e r s w e lc o m e . 4 4 4 1 S T IL L L O O K IN G : S M , 3 6 , s ^ " , 118 L B S ., 2 8 ” w a is t, g o a te e , je a n s , w o r k b o o t s , b a ll c a p . S e e k in g m a s c u lin e g u y s fo r d a tin g . L e t ’s h ik e o r h a n g o u t. G iv e m e try, y o u m ig h t b e

B E A U T IF U L B R A N IAC, B O R E D , S E E K S A M U S IN G

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y o u u p , m a y b e y o u ’ ll s e e s o m e t h in g in t h is

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w e re b a c k in th e a re a . I’d lo v e t o s a y h e llo ,

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d r u m m in g t a le n t . Y o u s o m e h o w e lu d e d t h e

12/5, 5 P .M ., M U D D Y ’ S : Y O U : C U T IE , B R O W N

D O Y O U B E L IE V E IN L O V E A T F IR S T S IG H T ? I

t im e . 4 6 1 6

I in t r o d u c e d m y s e lf, b u t d id n ’ t a s k y o u o u t.

n a t u r a l fo rc e s o f a t t r a c t io n c a u s e d b y m y

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d o . I t h in k y o u r n a m e is B r id g e t G ra c e . I

FR I., 11/B, B R O O K S P H A R M A C Y , E S S E X JCT: I

C o ffe e o r d in n e r s o m e t im e ? 4 4 4 6

t o r n a d o . L e t’s g o r id in g ! 4 4 1 0

in g w / h i-lig h te r, m a k in g e y e c o n t a c t . M E :

k n o w I lo v e y o u . I s e e y o u e v e ry d a y in y o u r

s a id “ h i,” y o u s a id y o u lik e d m y r in g a n d

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car, d r iv in g m e c ra z y ! L e t m e in . 4 7 1 3 _________

t h e n I fo r g o t m y k e y s . C a re t o h a v e c o f fe e

t h a t y o u h a v e t h e m o s t b e a u t if u l s m ile I’v e

n e x t t o m e , s t e a m y b o y. L e t’s m e e t fo r c o f fe e s o m e tim e , I’ ll h e lp y o u h i- lig h t . 4 8 0 9 _________ 12/4, W IN D J A M M E R : Y O U : A T T R A C T IV E g e n tle m a n a w a it in g b lin d d a te . M e : F r ie n d ly la d y w h o s m ile d w h e n a r r iv in g t o jo in a frie n d . Y o u r d a te a rr iv e d s h o rtly , w e a r in g a re d s w e a te r. I w is h s h e h a d b e e n m e! P le a s e c a ll! 4 8 0 8 ________________________________________ I S P Y A S E X Y B E E IC H E V E R Y S U N D A Y A T M e tr o n o m e . M a y b e w e c a n g e t t o g e t h e r

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11/18, E A R L Y M O R N IN G , B U R L IN G T O N W A T E R -

s h o u ld k n o w y o u ’re b e a u t if u l. A n d t h a n k s .

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b e fo r e I h a d a c h a n c e t o s a y h e llo . I b e t o u r

I s a w y o u w o r k in g a t C o n o s c e n t i’s in

la b s w o u ld h a v e fu n . H o p in g t o s e e y o u a g a in . 4 7 0 4

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I S P Y A B O Y W I T H C U R B T B R O W N H A IR A N D

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11/16, JU L IO ’ S W A IT E R : V E R Y C U T E , S H O R T ,

G la d to k n o w o t h e r p e o p le a p p r e c ia te it to o ! W h ite T e rc e l W a g o n .4 7 9 7 ______________________ FRI., 11/29, S W E E T W A T E R S : Y O U H A V IN G lu n c h w ith y o u r fr ie n d a t th e w in d o w , m e h a v in g lu n c h w it h m y b r o t h e r a t th e bar. W e

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I s p y a t a ll, d a rk , h a n d s o m e m a n , c u r ly ha ir,

M I D D L E B U R Y : T O T H E D A R K -E Y E D W O M A N

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FR I., 11/8, R E D S Q U A R E , C H R O M E C O W B O Y S :

k n o w e a c h o t h e r a lr e a d y .4 4 3 5

M e : D a r k h a ir, b lu e e y e s . Y o u : P e rfe c tio n g o in g . S a w y o u th e n e x t n ig h t a t C o y o t e s

e y e s . H a d a fe w d r in k s w it h y o u a t a H o lid a y

p u lle d b a c k , b la c k , lo n g s le e v e s a t in b o o t h

d r in k in g a C o ro n a w it h t w o f r ie n d s . H a v e w e

Inn b a r a n d th e n s a w a m o v ie s e q u e l. A re

m e t? C a n w e ? 4 5 2 5

y o u b a c k fro m N Y C ? C h a lle n g e y o u t o a

w it h a f r ie n d ( b lo n d e ) . W e t a lk e d a b o u t R a n c h & E lt o n J o h n On th e o ry ) . W a s t h a t a lo o k ? 4 6 9 7 __________________________________ _ _ E S S E X A U B U C H O N S: TATTO O ED LO VE BO Y

b e a u t if u l a s w h e n I la s t s a w y o u in 9 9 , w h e n

a c te d lik e a d o g , b a rk in g . L e t’s t a lk , I d o n ’ t

d a r k h a ir. Y o u n e w ? M e : L o n g , d a r k h a ir

w it h v u ln e r a b le b lu e e y e s . Y o u h e lp e d m ix

p e a re d . P le a s e c a ll y o u r k a ra o k e p a r t n e r l4 7 9 3

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T A L L , D A R K H A IR , H A N D S O M E W IT H O C E A N

lu n c h . 4 7 9 6 ______________________________________

s u p p o s e d to m e e t fo r d rin k s . Y o u d ls a p -

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w ith a s o u l m e lt in g s m ile . W e p a s s e d c o m in g /

e x c h a n g e d g la n c e s , m a y b e w e c o u ld h a v e

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b e a u t if u l s m ile a n d s u p e r fr ie n d ly . M a r ie ? I

s w iv e l m y a s s a r o u n d o n t h e b a r s t o o l t o

C o m e u p a n d s e e m e s o m e t im e . 4 7 o 6 ________

d o g s . R o d e o f f in a o ld b la c k 4 R u n n e r

U N O S IN S H E L B U R N E : Y O U : O U R W A IT R E S S ,

jo in y o u o n y o u r n e x t w in t e r w a lk ? 4 6 o 3

T ra il, s it t in g a lo n e a t t h e b ar. T o o s h y t o

T e x a s F a lls , o n G re e n S t., a n d in m y h e a rt.

C U T E G U Y A T O A K L E D G E W IT H T W O S W E E T

y o u c re a te . W ill w e e v e r m e e t a g a in ? 4 4 4 0

m o v in g b a c k t o th e E a s t C o a s t. M a y b e I c a n

s it t in g w / K in g S k ip p y . M e : G la s s e s , L o n g

I S P Y C U T E K A T E A T P E A R L ’ S , A T K R IP A L U , A T

s o m e t im e a n d p u t th e s h im m y - w a h - d a - ta y !

e v e r r e c e iv e d . S t ill in a tra n c e fro m th e e n e rg y

11/15, P E A R L ’ S : Y O U : G L A S S E S , G U IN N E S S ,

w h it e c a rs . B e m o re s p e c if ic ! 4 7 0 7 _____________

m y p a in t s . “ D " w o u ld tik e y o u t o c h e c k o u t

F R I , 11/1 P A R T Y IN /N E A R J E F F E R S O N V IL L E :

e v e r s e e n . Y o u g a v e m e t h e g re a t e s t h u g I’v e

a n d g e t a c q u a in t e d ? 4 6 o 4 ______________________

T O T H A T G I R L T H A T N IG H T . IN T H E G R E E N

Y o u ’re r o c k in ’ m y w o rld ! T a m m y (th e g ir l w it h

TO TH E CUTEST B A LD G U Y I H A V E EVER SEEN !

O h , b a s h f u ln e s s . 4 5 0 3 __________________________

g a m e o f p o o l, d o y o u a c c e p t ? 4 4 3 4 ___________

Y O U R FIN E F O R M R U N S S U N D A Y , A . M . ’ S a t T O . E v e ry t im e I s e e k y o u o u t, y o u & y o u r

S T U N N IN G IN Y O U R S U IT A T T H E W A IT IN G

lit t le re d c a r h a v e v a n is h e d . L o o k in g to

ro o m W e d n e s d a y n ig h t a n d f la n k e d b y t h r e e

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n o n e , I w o n d e r ? Y o u r d a r k e y e s b r ig h t w it h y o u r h a n d s o m e s m ile fro m w h e r e I s a t b y

m y n e w ly p a in t e d C a m b r id g e h o m e . 4 6 4 3

A r e y o u a v a ila b le ? 4 5 2 3 ________________________

11/21, C H A R L IE O ’ S : Y O U K N O W W H O Y O U

YO U , A S SW EET A S TU PELO HO N EY, A N

a re . E n e rg y lik e t h a t s h o u ld n o t b e w a s t e d .

a n g e l o f t h e fir s t d e g re e a t th e U V M f it n e s s

10/31, H A L L O W E E N A T N E C T A R ’ S : I T O O K A

P le a s e c a ll. 4 6 3 0 ________________________________

c e n t e r S a t. n ig h t, 11/9 a n d lu n c h t im e a t

p ic tu re w it h y o u , y o u s a id y o u r n a m e w a s

G iv e n , 11/11. M e : D a rk h a ir, r u n n in g s h o r t s .

B e n . I w o u ld lo v e t o fin d y o u a g a in . S p a c e

Y e s t h o s e w e re m y k id s b u t I a m n o t

g irl. 4 4 2 8 _______________________ ,_________________

th e d o o r. 4 4 3 3

w e ’re b o th t o ld n o t to s a y g o o d - b y e o r s t a y

I S P Y A G O R G E O U S A M A Z O N W IT H A B E A U -

in t o u c h . B u t w e a re n o lo n g e r h e e d in g h e r

t if u ll s m ile w o r k in g a t th e C o u n t r y S t o re in

a d v ic e , & I’m b a c k fo r g o o d , in y o u r h o o d . I

M o n t p e lie r . A s h le y J u d d w o u ld b e lu c k y t o b e

re a lly m is s e d a n d w o r r ie d a b o u t y o u a n d

c o m p a r e d t o y o u ! Y o u ’re e a s y t o t a lk t o , b u t

H A L L O W E E N 9 5 X X X P A R T Y A T R A D IS S O N .

S t r a n g e f o lk . I a s k e d y o u i f y o u re a d S e v e n

y o u r k id s . C a tc h u p ? 4 7 9 i

I’ m sh y ! 4 6 2 9

Y O U : P ix ie c a r e g iv e r n a m e d M in d y (M a n d y ? ).

D a y s . S o r ry w e d id n ’ t g e t a c h a n c e t o c h a t,

m a r rie d . 4 5 1 4

H IG H E R G R O U N D , L A S T S A T U R D A Y A T

M e : S a m u r a i n a m e d G re g . L ik e t o g e t

le t ’s m e e t u n d e r q u ie t e r c o n d it io n s . I

to g e th e r? 4 5 0 5

t h o u g h t t h a t y o u lo o k e d g re a t. 4 4 1 8

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Kelley Blue Book $11,050 Red 4-door. #73358.

Best Price $7,990

’99 Olds Alero GX Blue 2*door. #73035 Kelley Blue Book $9,465

Best Price $7,993

00 Pontiac Grand Prix GT

j j l c | White 4-do<»i6. #73536. n

Kelley Blue Book $14,485 ,

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WWW. M

shearerpontiac.

Cadillac • Pontiac

Across from the Olive Garden Open Mon-Fri 8-7, Sat 8-5

658-1212 or 1-800-545-8907

1030 Shelburne Road, So. Burlington. Email: shearer2®adelphiamet. All vehicles subject to prior sale. Prices do not include tax, title and registration unless otherwise noted. Documentary fees optional Offer docs not apply to previously quoted deals and expires l/Z /03. Please remember - always wear your seat belt!_____________