Seven Days, December 30, 1998 by Seven Days

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theweeklyreadonVermontnews, viewsandculture CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paula Routly STAFF WRITER Erik Esckilsen ART DIRECTOR Samantha Hunt DESIGNERS Donald Eggert, Tara Vaughan-Hughes PRODUCTION MANAGER Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ PERSONALS Glenn Severance SALES MANAGER Rick Woods ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Michelle Brown, Rob Cagnina, Jr., Eve Jarosinski, Nancy Payne CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, John Dillon, Peter Freyne, David Healy, Ruth Horowitz, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, David Lines, Lola, Melanie Menagh, Ron Powers, Gail Rosenberg, Elaine Segal, Glenn Severance, Barry Snyder, Heather Stephenson, Molly Stevens, Sarah Van Arsdale, Karen Vincent, Margy Levine Young, Jordan Young PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, Gary Causer, Sarah Ryan INTERN Lindsey Wolper WWW GUY Dave Donegan

SEVEN DAYS is published by Da Capo Publishing, Inc. every Wednesday. It is distributed free of charge in greater Burlington, Middlebury, Montpelier, Stowe, the Mad River Valley, Rutland, St. Albans and Plattsburgh. Circulation: 20,000. Six-month First Class sub scriptions are available for $40. Oneyear First Class subscriptions are available for $80. Six-month Third Class subscriptions are available for $20. One-year Third Class subscrip tions are available for $40. Please call 802.864.5684 with your VISA or Mastercard, or mail your check or money order to “Subscriptions” at the address below. Bye bye 7D. All my love, lil paper. XOXO. Mandy. For Classifieds/ Personals or display advertising please call the number below. SEVEN DAYS shall not be held liable to any advertiser for any loss that results from the incorrect publication of its advertisement. If a mis take is ours, and the advertising purpose has been rendered valueless, SEVEN DAYS may cancel the charges for the advertisement, or a portion thereof as deemed reasonable by the publisher.

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Back Track

question

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page 4

1998 in Review

weekly m a i l .................

page 4

news quirks . . . . . . .

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S E V E N D A Y S , P .O . Box 1 1 6 4 , 25 5 S . Champlain S t.,

By Peter Freyne................................................................ page 5

tr o u b le to w n .................

page 37

Reeling in the Year

life in h e l l ...................

page 3 8

Slim e keeps on slip p in g ...in to the future

c la s s ifie d s ...................

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straight dope

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red m e a t ........................

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car t a l k ...........................

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story m in u te ...................

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crossword p u z z le ...........

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real a s tr o lo g y ................

page 4 4

W all to W all

p e rs o n a ls .........................

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The year in pictures, sculptures, galleries and multi-media

lola, the love counselor

page 4 5

installations

dykes to watch out for .

page 4 6

Burlington, V T 0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 Tel: 8 0 2 .8 6 4 .5 6 8 4 Fax: 8 0 2 .8 6 5 .1 0 1 5 . e-m ail: sevenday@ together.net http://ww w.sevendaysvt.com

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By Peter K urth............................................. .......................page 7

Snowm an’s Land A sm all group o f ice artists has its way with the white s tu ff By David Healy ................................................................page 32

Listings

Tube Fed: Happy New & Improved Year

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DESIGN BY SAMANTHA HUNT

SEVEN DAYS.

M aking resolutions for the people who m ake TV

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This auld thing? By Rick Kisonak ......................................... .................... page 38

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d e c e m b e r 3 0 , 13 9 8 & Ja n u a r y 6 , 1 9 9 9

By Marc Awodey ............................................................. page 35 COVER PHOTO BY MATTHEW THORSEN

page 36 SEVEN DAYS

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Can you make a prediction for 1999 that involves body parts? I predict the end of body piercing. — A ndy Greene M u s ic ia n B u rlin g to n

I think that down town there’s gonna be more people who are not wearing hats. — A nna Jacobs 3 rd grader, E d m u n d s S chool B u rlin g to n

Heads will roll. — LeRoy Preston ~ M u s ic ia n /w rite r P anton

There will be an organ farm. An organic organ farm. Brooke H adw en

x? § 1

Crowl. BRING ON THE AIRLINES! education so bloody uninformed? Three-quarters of the way As one of those aforementioned The article on Burlington through the article, the author asks -no-cash property owners, I have Airport was interesting and wellwritten [“Air Apparent,” Lord Crowl, great guru of educa taken advantage of every paltry tion, to explain his support of Act “income-sensitive” Band-Aid November 25]. I have visited the airport, and been impressed. It 60. Then I read these passages in Current Use and Act “stick-it” does need better signwork, but his answer: “In 1996...the biggest have to offer. Despite this, the that will come, I am sure. issue was property tax reform...”A amount of money those thieves in lot of people who owned land did Montpelier have decided, in their Like everyone, I would like to see a low-cost airline enter the n’t have cash — it’s a huge tempta infinite wisdom, that I should con mix. I am sure many folks will tion to sell land to condo develop tribute to education in my com ers. The idea was to keep property remember Peoples Express munity, has devoured nearly half tax from rising.” “...Act 60 was Airlines, the low fares, and large of my income this year, and will number of passengers they drew. brilliant politically.” continue to do so in future years, Many people were able to make My best interpretation of his -even-when the new law is “fully trips they would not have made answer is that Crowl supports Act implemented.” My income would before Peoples. I seem to remem 60 because he thinks it’s brilliant. have to be 50 times its present He did not state as much, but I ber a high percentage of patrons level for me to be taxed at 2 per guess he wants us to believe Act 60 cent of my earnings — not a likely from north of the border. People’s prospect in this lifetime. Airlines marketed heavily in south is “brilliant” because it addresses ern Quebec. I don’t know if regu the issues raised by other passages I Granted, many of those mak —quoted above. lations or demographics have ing the papers with their squawk changed, but including southern Was it a Freudian slip that his ing about Act 60 are wealthy twits Quebec in population data would remark about owning land and no who would barely notice the new cash is stated in the past tense, or bring the airport the. numbers it law if they read about it in their needs. does he actually believe this condi checkbooks instead of the newspa — Don MacDonald tion no longer exists? If the latter, pers. My philosophy is that the lot Burlington why is the part about “temptation” of them, while publicly whimper stated in the present tense? Albeit ing about how painfully the new EXPLAIN ACT 60 SUPPORT still regressive, a so-called incomelaw will gouge them, privately are After briefly perusing and then sensitive property-valued tax is bowled over with disbelief, and stashing copies of Seven Days what determines the amount most seething with glee over how little low and moderate income throughout at busy summer, I’ve the new funding law ultimately finally found the time to dust off Vermont home-owners must con affects them. tribute to fund education. Is Crowl sdrrie older issues and read them The wealthy individual sees his stating ;his tacit approval of the fact contribution to educating the more thoroughly. I ran across an that this “income-sensitive” provi undeserving local cretins increase article in the August 26 issue sion does not apply to the lion’s which pushed my buttons like I from a tenth of a percent of his share of the tax bill of any was hooked to the psychological income to two-tenths of a percent Vermont low-income /^W-owner? equivalent of mission control at of his income, and howls like a Does he approve of a law which the Kennedy Space Center. The wounded hyena because his tax article, entitled, “Head of the still holds such people bondage in was doubled. Increasing the prop Class,” was an interview with edu a property-owners’ Auschwitz? erty tax forces the local huckster of cation pundit/pontificator Jack Why is this lofty paragon of latte to push up the cost of the

Co-owner, H ow dy Wear

wealthy man’s favorite fix by a nickel, and the well-heeled heels trumpet the call to derail Act “diddly,” whimpering that taxing prop erty in “gold towns” is hurting the little guy. Those wealthy scabs know damn well they got out of “property tax reform” virtually unscathed, but they’re doing their damnedest to sound wounded to the marrow, hoping to regain what little ground they’ve lost. Anyone as educated as King Crowl ought to be able to see that Act “Robbinghood” merely shifts the education tax from the backs of wretchedly poor property own ers in another community, while, as described above, having no noticeable affect on the wealthy. Knowing that voters will figure this out soon enough, and resume trouncing school budgets with renewed vigor, and knowing that low-income land-owners, still receive no relief worthy^of men tion, I’ll re-ask the question. How, in good conscience, can a sage like Jack Crowl support Act 60? This time, I’d like him to present a thorough answer. — Steven Farnham Plainfield Letters P olicy: SEVEN DAYS wants your rants and raves, in 2 5 0 words or less. Letters are only accepted that respond to content in Seven Days. Include your full name and a daytime phone number and send to: SEVEN DAYS, P.0. Box 11 6 4 , Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 2 -1 1 6 4 . fax: 8 6 5 -1 0 1 5 e-mail: sevenday@together.net

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By P eter Freyne asten your seat belts, folks. Before we usher in the new, let’s take one last look at the old — “tracking” through the political goings-on of 1998. When the year began, Bill Clinton was our unimpeached president and Howard Dean was the governor who all of a sudden didn’t want to be presi dent. Ho-Ho announced on January 3 he was no longer considering a bid for president in 2000. He said his kids did n’t want him to run, but inter nal polls told him the heck with the kidlets, Vermonters didn’t approve. Then the Republican Party led us into the beginning of the most seamy, sleazy, antiAmerican year in American history. Sex, oral sex and cigar sex. “Fornigate” was launched and the country was bombard ed with sordid tales of the President and the “Devil With a Semen-Stained Blue Dress O n.” . V V / Locally, we also reported an “exclusive” on how pets coped with the Great Ice Storm of 1998 — one gubernatorial pet, anyway. That was Ho-Ho’s three-legged kitty named Katie. When the Deans lost their electricity, they moved into a warm and cozy South Burlington hotel. Katie the Kitty was left behind in the frozen house. Remember, cats don’t vote. n February came at last a scandal of our very own. Inside Track broke the story that Democratic political wannabe Rep. Steve Howard of Rutland Town had offered a Dribe to his opponent in the ooming secretary of state pri mary. L’il Stevie Blunder had offered Deb Markowitz the deputy’s post at a salary com mensurate with his — based, of course, on his most assured

victory over Republican Jim Milne. W hat a frickin’ gentle man! “It wasn’t intended as a bribe,” Stevie told Inside Track. Oh, sure. Absolutely. Then it got worse, as Inside Track reported L’il Stevie had a record of ethical lapses going back to his days at Boston College, where he earned front-page headlines in the student newspaper in 1992: “Howard Admits to Forging Dean’s Signature.” He was supposed to have written a paper on ethics in politics, but we were unable to obtain a copy.

we’d learn later, he’d have a showdown with the righteous conservative right wing of the pathetic Vermont Republican Party. Also in March, U.S. Sen. Patrick Leahy gave the Midwest a shudder by slipping language into federal legisla tion declaring our beautiful11 Lake Champlain a Great Lake! The Midwestern press and our local quisling columnist, Sam the Sham Hemingway over at The Burlington Free Press, mocked Leahy for the masterful stroke. The story went round the world!

& Childrens Te® % Storytelling

April began with a disturb-

Ho-Ho needed a beach towel to dry off after Steve Cormier slammed the local press and diligently applied his lips to the Gov’s bum on live Vermont radio. In March, “a new kind of ing report in Seven Days April Bernie” rolled into the 1 edition that revealed Gov. Vermont political arena — Howard Dean’s sordid past as a Bernie Rome of Shelburne. cross-dresssing teenage Actually, the dude was a gen shoplifter at Bloomingdale’s in uine Vermont product, despite his native New York City. being dubbed “a New York Citing a Village Voice report, businessman” by Howard Inside Track wrote that Dean. Bernie couldn’t wait any “Howie,” as he was then longer for Barbara Snelling to called, had been caught steal decide if she’d run for gover ing women’s foundation gar nor, so he went ahead and ments when he was 14 yeais stuck his neck out there in old. “The NYPD was called true Bernie Rome fashion. and Dean was taken to the Born in Burlington and edu 14th precinct, where Detective cated in Vermont public Sergeant Patrick Aloysius schools, the 1956 University of O ’Hara forced him to watch Vermont grad made his for John Wayne’s The tune in the Big Apple. “I don’t The real shocker was that, wear my money on my sleeve,” even when we went on to Bernie II told Inside Track. “I report on the “crack cocaine wear my success and I’m naked hot tub parties” that proud of it. ” House Republican leader Bernie II threw his hat in the ring for governor, but as Continued on page 12

december 30

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Odd, strange, curious and w eird but true news item s from every corner of the globe

The Pusher

A juiy in Portland, Oregon, awarded $900,000 to car salesman Larry Benson, who charged urologist Dr. David R. Rosencrantz with keeping him addicted to painkilling drugs. Benson insisted the reason was so the doctor could take advantage of Benson’s dependency to get free repair service. He testified that Rosencrantz had been milking him for 18 years, starting when Benson was a grocer. Grading on the Curve

When 59 percent of the 1795 applicants to become new teachers in Massachusetts failed the state’s first qualifying test this summer, the Board of Education promptly lowered the passing grade, reducing the number of failures to 44 per cent. A week later, the board reversed itself at the urging of acting Gov. Paul Cellucci, who recommended that current teachers be tested as well, not ing that there are “perhaps thousands of teachers who are in the classroom today who are not meeting the standards.” Lightning Strikes

Lightning bolts decided the outcome of two African soccer

matches in October. In Johannesburg, a game between the Moroka Swallows and Jomo Cosmos was called off with the Swallows ahead, 2-0, when lightning struck the playing field, according to Reuters, which said six Swallows players were hurt. The next day, the Congo Press Agency reported that lightning killed all 11 members of a vis iting soccer team in eastern Kasai province, but didn’t touch any of the home players. “The exact nature of the light ning,” the dispatch noted, “has divided the population in this region, known for its use of fetishes in football.” The Customer Is Never Right

When Lester McClinton, 33, complained to Philadel phia store owner Man Say Voong, 58, that he had been sold the wrong brand of beer, Voong argued with him, then shot him dead. “You think I feel sorry?” Voong told the other customers in the store. “Well, I don’t.” When cus tomer Casandra Toler, 28, screamed, Voong shot her in the arm “and held the people hostage for 14 hours,” Assistant District Attorney Jude Conroy said before

Voong was sentenced to 15 to 40 years in prison for the slay ing. Rude Awakening

Britain’s TSB bank notified depositor Liz Seymour that she owed 121 billion pounds (US$206 billion) and demanded immediate repay ment or she would be charged 2.5 billion pounds interest a month. A bank spokesperson later blamed an administrative error for the notice. • Doctors concluded that a brain cyst caused accountant Terry Dibert, 34, to believe he was 11 years younger and leave his job in Bedford, Pennsyl vania, without a trace to search for his old Army unit in Florida. Police arrested him near Jacksonville for violating a curfew imposed because of the area’s wildfires. After his wife Julie flew to Florida to bring him home, medical tests revealed the cyst. Road Runner

Karen Byers, 24, was dri ving along a highway near Cleveland, Tennesee, before sunrise when she accidentally threw a $20 bill out her car window while tossing a ciga rette butt. She stopped, got

out of her car and ran across the median to retrieve the money but was killed when she stepped in front of a pick up truck. • Alicia Fleming, 20, stopped on a highway in Collins County, Texas, to lay a wreath where her cousin Shane Smith, 22, had been killed in an acci dent three days earlier. While crossing the road, she was struck by a car and died. Money-Back Guarantee

James Numeni, a witch doctor in Gharnga, Liberia, cast a spell over two men to protect them from bullets, then decided to check and make sure his spell worked. It didn’t, according to the Associated * * 'i >< > < * AL

dentally flushed $40 down the toilet of his home in Tampa, Florida, he opened his 1600gallon septic tank to retrieve the money. The methane fumes overcame him, however, and he fell in and drowned. Sets and Violence

Police in Apopka, Florida, charged Raymond Emilio Gomez, 17, with murdering his mother by bashing her head in with a hammer because she refused to change TV channels. “She was trying to watch soap operas,” police Detective Donnie Heston said. “He wanted to watch some thing else. He didn’t say what. He wasn’t clear on the details.” Laboring Under a Delusion

Jennifer Anys, 30, called 911 in Morgan town, West W Virginia, frantic because her child was missing. Some 100 volun teers searched for three hours before a sheriff’s deputy found the child at his day-car center, where the mother had dropped him off that morn ing. “It’s a mistake,” Anys insisted, “anybody could make.” ® ;'

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Slime keeps on slipping . . . into the future B y P eter K urth ongratulations, everybody — 1998 is about to bite the dust. It’s the only way to look at it when you figure that most of the year was spent rolling in filth. Apart from the usual run of bombings, shoot ings, plane crashes, murders, hurricanes, fires, Asian crises,

Balkan bloodbaths and babies switched at birth, there was nothing on the American menu this year but Monica and Bill. And Paula and Linda. And, you know, the Talkers. As I write this, the House of Represen tatives has just voted to impeach the President, and the pundits are tripping all over themselves in an effort to

explain What It All Means. Personally, I’d have gone happily to my grave not know ing a thing about President Clinton’s sexual practices, confi dent that the ship of state would have gone on sailing whether the Chief Executive kept his pants zipped or not. I believe many Americans feel the C o n tin u ed on n ext p ag e

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sling in the Year C o n tin u e d from p ag e 7

saitie way, but, obviously, were out of step with the times. Its open season in the United States of Sleaze, no holds barred, all lids off the garbage cans. The most sickening aspect of the House impeachment vote is the contempt it shows for what our elected leaders are otherwise pleased to call “the American people.” “Let us disregard the outside influences,” said Rep. Bob Livingston, the one-time wouldbe Speaker of the House and one of the larger hypocrites on Capitol Hill. The revelation that Livingston has had “extra marital affairs” in an otherwise “wonderful” marriage ought to have given Republicans pause in their insane desire to drive Clinton from office. But no: Before Livingston resigned, his defenders declared that he may be an adulterer, but “he has never lied under oath.” (He has also never been set up for entrapment by an “indepen dent” prosecutor on a holy mis sion.) This is the level of soph istry and cynicism to which we, as a nation, have sunk. About the bombings, shoot ings, murders, etc., there is little to report but the simple facts. This was the year when the “schoolyard shooting” was established as a national trend, as three twisted adolescents —

junior militiamen in the mak, ing opened fire on their t classmates and teachers in three different states: Tennessee, Oregon and Arkansas. The “Abortion Clinic Bomber,” Eric Rudolph, successfully eluded authorities in the mountains of

decided to split the cover between Clinton and Starr. It was doubtful, in any case, whether the media establish ment was ready to acknowledge a murdered homosexual in this way. Recently, the official Matthew Shepard Web site was

1998s more famous “prevarica tors,” Patricia Smith of The Boston Globe, invented slander ous quotes about my sister, Barbara Kurth, who had the misfortune to be caught up this year in one of those juicy, “human interest” dramas on

It’s open season in the United States of Sleaze, no holds barred, all lids off the garbage cans. North Carolina and quickly became a folk hero in those parts. In Buffalo, one of the few doctors who still dared to per form abortions was shot dead at his home. And Jack Kevorkian was charged with murder in Michigan, having finally aban doned his claim of “assisting suicide” and ushering one des perate patient to his Maker with a quick stick of the needle. Nobody seemed to care but the media and local prosecutors. W hat’s one death more or less? In Wyoming, a young gay man was beaten, bludgeoned, tortured, whipped, strapped to a post and left to die in frigid weather. Sentiment was run ning high on the Internet fo r Matthew Shepard to be named Time magazine’s “Man of the Year” before the publication

inundated with organized, anti gay hate mail, forcing the site to shut down temporarily, and reminding us all that the forces of bigotry and evil in this coun try are in no way diminished by the widespread shocked response to Shepard’s murder. W hat’s one death more or less?

he national press was a story of its own this year, as everyone knows, locked in collusion with the President’s enemies and scaling new heights of sanctimoniousness at the same time that a number of well-known journalists were forced to resign-their positions for fabricating incidents, per sons and quotes in their stories. I have a personal axe to grind here, I’m afraid, since one of

which the media thrive. In April, my sister’s ex-husband was arrested in Florida and charged with kidnapping their two small daughters 19 years ago in Massachusetts. The rest, as they say, is Movie of the Week. “How did you feel when your daughters were kid napped?” the reporters, without exception, wanted to know. “Does it hurt you now that they don’t want to see you? Were you an unfit mother? How hard did you really look to find them?” If you think the press is crass and intrusive when viewed from the outside, you should try it from the inside and have your worst fears con firmed. Ask the First Intern, if you don’t believe me. Ask Calista Flockhart, publicly

indicted on suspicion of anorexia, or Liza Minelli, now blown up to a size 18 and rumored to be “on the brink” — of what, the pundits do not say. Their only responsibility is to report the news, whether they get it right or not. It’s all in a day’s — an hour’s, an instant’s — work. Speaking of sex — weren’t we? — 1998 saw the triumph of Viagra, which, with a wink and leer, revitalized untold — thousands of men, despite the fact that the drug has already been linked to a couple of hun dred deaths in the bedroom. It’s an irony of history that while Congress was punishing the President for an elevated sex drive, Americans were celebrat ing horniness to the tune of $300 million in annual sales. And that was just this country. There was an anthrax scare early in the year, as well as an asteroid scare — a giant mete orite supposedly headed straight for Earth to wipe us out for our sins. That the missile didn’t come close to hitting the planet can be viewed as a relief or a disappointment, depending on where you were standing. (O f course, in the movies, it did hit us, but only took out a chunk of the eastern -seaboard.) In other science news, there were some major advances in the war against cancer and none in the war against AIDS; at least 40 million people around r■j

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the world are now infected with HIV, with no end in sight to the epidemic. DNA tests proved that Thomas Jefferson was indeed the father of one of Sally Hennings’ children, forc ing historians and racial hyster ics to admit that the third pres ident of the United States — gasp! — had a black, or anyway part-black, mistress. John Glenn went back into space, while El Nino gave us a year of

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try is officially crazy. This news went hand in hand with the discovery that monkeys can count, giving rise to the hope that next time evolution might get it right. In California, med ical marijuana clubs were shut down by order of the federal government, even though mari juana’s beneficial effect on the sick and dying is undisputed by anyone whom illness has forced to use it. Don’t worry. Pot will be back as soon as private cor porations and pharmaceutical companies find a way to own it, package it, and sell it at a large profit. Moving right along: Gingrich fell, the stock market soared, the Pope went to Cuba and Bill Gates went to trial. Having just spent hundreds of dollars trying to get Windows 98 to work on my computer, I’m thinking of joining that lawsuit myself, although I doubt that anyone can actually win it. Certainly Gates will be able to afford any fine that is slapped on his industry. Money was every where in 1998. Verily, money is king in this land, with a billion-dollar congressional elec tion recently behind us and a trillion dollars more generated on the stock market for private investors over the last five years. At the same time, the effects of welfare “reform” are just start ing to be felt. More people are

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C o n tin u e d on page 11

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poor in America now than at any time in our history. If you ask me, its time we took all the mottoes off the coins and bills and just wrote “Greed” in their place. Culturally, so to speak, everything came in yawning packages this year — the last “Seinfeld” episode, the remake of Psycho, the “top” 100 novels, the “top” 100 films. Tom Wolfe weighed in with an ugly, homophobic novel, and Steven Spielberg proved that he can serve up gore with the best of them in Saving Private Ryan. Ginger Spice quit the Spice Girls and Tina Brown quit The New Yorker to work for Disney, an appropriate destination for the woman who posed Claus von Biilow in S&M leather and painted an Uncle Sam suit on a naked Demi Moore (whoever she was). In England, the poet Ted Hughes broke his lifelong silence about Sylvia Plath and promptly died. Mother could

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Group Fitness YMCA Aerobic Class Pass Step, Aerobic Blast, Abs & more plus classes at the YMCA at Essex. 7 wks. for $69( Free). BoxAerobics Uses upper body moves and kicks. Thursdays, 9 9:55 am. $30 ($24) Yoga At 266 College St: Tuesdays, 9-9:55 am, $52 ($42) At Edmunds Elementary: Thursdays, 5:30 - 6:30 pm. $44 ($35)6 weeks. Physical Mind Class (Pilates)Thursdays, 6-6:55 pm. $35 ($28)________________

Fitness in Richmond at Richmond Elementary Cardio-Low: Low-impact aerobics with floorwork. Tue/Thu: 6:30-7:30 pm, 1/122/18. $55. Yoga: Mondays, 6:30-7:30 pm 1/4-2/15. $45

hoops, balls, beam and more. Saturdays, 9:05-9:35 am. $37($22). Tiny Tum blers (4-5 yrs., w/ parent) Preschool gymnastics class with tumbling and movement. Saturdays, 9:40 10:10 am. $37 ($22) Beginner Gymnastics (6-12 yrs.) Use of beam, vault, rings and tumbling. Thursdays, 3-4 pm, and Saturdays, 10:15-11:05 am. $52 ($30). Child’s Creative Dance Ages 3-5 yrs. explore movement and the elements of dance. Wednesdays, 2:45-3:30 pm. $35 ($25) Beginner Ballet Ages 7-10 yrs. Fun intro to classical style ballet. Saturdays, 1-2 pm. $34 ($25). Swingin’ Singles For adult singles who want to learn to dance but don't have a partner. Includes foxtrot, tango, waltz & swing. Couples are welcome, too. Fridays, 6-7 pm. $49 ($40)

have warned him. Other celebrity deaths included Frank Sinatra, whom you’d have thought was Moses, or at least Abraham Lincoln, so fawning and reverent was the coverage of his demise. Linda McCartney succumbed to cancer; poor Phil Hartman was shot by his wife. Pol Pot, Barry Goldwater, Sonny Bono and Dr. Spock all passed on in various ways. Much was made of the dismay ing legacy of Spock’s child-rear ing techniques, although fewer and fewer Americans could probably tell you the difference between the doctor and the guy with the ears on Star Trek. Well, just listen to me — a full year to go before the magic 2000 and already I’m reaching for the flashlights and blankets. Above all, I’m glad that this dis graceful year is over, and hope ful that the next might nurture a spark of dignity in a land that seems to have forgotten the meaning of the word. Call me Cassandra if you want to. I’m drawing the blinds and I’m not looking out. 0

Ages 10-17. After-school program at Catamount Family Center. We provide transportation. Fee includes ski rental. Thursdays, 3:30-8 pm. Jan. 7-Feb. 11. $115($95)

A c tive O ld e r A d u lts Ballroom in Shelburne Intro to Foxtrot, Tango, Rhumba and Swing. Mondays, 7-8 pm. $98 couple ($80).

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It’s an irony of history that while Congress was punishing the President for an elevated sex drive, Americans were celebrating horniness to the tune of $300 mil lion in annual sales. And that was just this country.

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Step Aerobics, Mon/Wed, 5:30-6:30 pm. $48/Free. Cardio-Low Aerobics Tues/Thurs. 6:10-7 pm. $48/Free. Learn to Teach Group Exercise If you want to become an aerobic instructor or prepare for the AFAA Exam, this is for you. Mondays, 6:30-9:15 pm. Jan. 18,25, Feb., 1, 8. $110 ($85) Kickboxing Tues/Thurs. 78:30 pm. $60 ($44)

Basketball Co-ed Youth Clinic Boys 8 girls ages 7-10 learn the fundamentals of basketball through fun drills and practice games. Fee includes t-shirt. Saturdays, 1:45-3:55 pm. $35

($20). 3- on-3 Basketball League Eight teams of adults play 20 V minute halves. Runs Jan. 24 Mar. 14. Sundays, 5-7 pm. $30/player ($20).

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Youth Clinic Grades 7 8 8. Keep skills sharp thru winter while learning new ones. $52($30). 4- on-4 Teen Indoor League 13-15 yrs. $150 team. Call Kevin Hatin, 862-9622, for dates.

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Tower Road Classes run Jan. 11-Feb. 22 BoxAerobics Mondays, 6-7 pm. $36($30) Physical Mind Class Mondays, 7:15-8 pm. $36 ($30). Beginner Ballet Ages 7-10. Mondays, 4-5ppm. $37($25). Jazz 4 Kids Ages 7-10. Intro to Jazz dance combined with hip hop and Broadway styles. Mondays, 5-6pm. $37($25)

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Kids in K arate Ages 7 and up, adults welcome. Develop endurance, coordination, strength 8 flex ibility. Tue/Thu 4 -5:15, $63 ($47) Tai Chi An ancient oriental practice that unites spirit, mind 8 body. Appropriate for all ages and fitness levels. Tue/Thu, 8 - 9 am $67 ($50) Kickboxing Basic skills of punching, kicking, blocking and use of the heavy bag. No full contact. A great whole-body exercise. Wednesdays, 6:45-8:15 pm. $39 ($28) Saturdays, Noon-1 pm, $32 ($21). Both days: $66 ($55) Taekwon-Do Learn to apply this Korean martial art in selfdefense, competition and selfexpression. Saturdays: 2-3 pm. $63($44).

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Silver Foxes Moderately paced, co-ed exercise class for those over 50. Includes land exercise followed by optional water exercise. Mon/Wed/Fri, 8 9:30 am. Gym only, ends at 8:50 am, $60 ($47) Both gym and pool, $80 ($64) Never-Too-Late-Nautilus Strength training for folks over 50 to improve strength and energy levels, ease arthritis pain and build strong bones. Tue/Fri, 9 -10am. $42 ($28) A.O.A. Hour An afternoon exercise class that's moderately paced. Mondays, 1-2 pm. $22($18)

Swim Lessons The YMCA offers swim lessons for people of all ages. For information on times and fees, please call 862-9622. Classes include parent/child classes for ages 6 months to 5 years, classes for independent swimmers ages 3 - 5 years, youth swim classes for ages six and older, teen swim lessons and adult lessons. Tumble & Splash Back-to-back classes for you and your child -- creative movement and tumbling, then a swim lesson. Group I: Ages 2 8 3 w/parent. Saturdays, 11 am - noon. $60 ($47). Group II: Ages 3-5. Saturdays, 11:30 am-12:30 pm. $64 ($55).

W a te r Fitness Splash & Tone Low-impact workout Tue/Thur, 9 - 1 0 am. $55 (Free) Tue/Thur, 6:30 - 7:30 pm. $55($37) W a te r Aerobics Fast-paced aerobic workout. Mon/Wed/ Fri. 6:15-7:15 am. $72 (Free) Mon/Wed. 6-7 pm. $55 ($39) F it’n’Fun A great cardio vascular workout in the water followed by heart-pumping water games. Tue/Thu. 6:15 7:15 am. $55(Free)

Aerobics and F it’n’Fun Combo Work out every morning, $84 (Free) HydroPowerWave Highenergy, low-impact workout. Tue/Thu, Noon-1 pm. $55(Free). W a te r Tai Chi Combine gentle moves of tai chi with calming effects of the water. Tuesdays, 1 2 pm. $28($18.50). A rth ritis W a te r Exercise offered with the Arthritis Foundation, gentle exercises in our 86° pool help decrease pain and stiffness. Attend any of these classes for $62($40): Mon -Fri. 1-2 pm, Tue/Thu. 8 - 9 am. Call fo r inform ation on Free Senior Swim, Therapy Swim, Adaptive Swim Program, Masters Swimming, SCUBA and Lifeguarding Course.

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Flattery will get you nowhere, my friendHey,.$sqth Clinton its cig ars. W ith Cormier, it’s rear ends. Diversity. That’s cool. Like Hack roses coming to bloom, the most virulent Act 60 opponents shot their wads

Doug Racine stuck to his guns on Act 6 0 and beat Barbara Snelling by a w hisker, despite the fact that WGOP, er, WCAX, kept tellin g us the race wasn’t even close. O f course, now that .I think of it, Ho-Ho never denied it. Also in April, Steve Howard continued to prove he was an out-of-control 18-wheeler bar reling down Vermont’s political highway. L’il Sleazy got caught dishing the dirt that Deb Markowitz had an arrest record stemming from a Burlington protest back in the early days of the Sanders Revolution. Not true. And when he tried to upstage Markowitz’s campaign kick-off at the Statehouse with a press confer ence of his own, you just knew his days were numbered. Bye, bye, L’il Stevie!

n May, we started to rev up our coverage of Republican U.S. Senate candidate Jack McMullen, the Massachusetts Carpetbagger. We learned that McMuffin, er, McMullen, was one pretty well-off dude, with real estate holdings around the country. Let’s see, four condos in Boston, five houses in Houston and land in Colorado, Arizona and Big Bear Lake, California. Let’s not forget the office building in Nashua, New Hampshire, and the shopping center in Tucson. Oh, yeah, and the home in Nantucket. Cool! But what the hell is this guy doing in Vermont? He rented an apartment in Burlington last October. Has a phone and answering machine, but there was no indication he brought any furniture with him. Weirdest of the weird. Inside Track reported McMunster was trying to line up New England’s GOP U.S. senators for his own campaign kick-off. Impressive props. But they avoided him like the plague. Wonder what they knew that we didn’t? On the local airwaves, Steve Cormier at Champ 101.3 FM proved beyond question that no one can ass-kiss a politician bet ter than he. Congratulations, Corm. Ho-Ho needed a beach towel to dry off after Steve slammed the local press and diligently applied his lips to the Gov’s bum on live Vermont radio. Since our report, Mr. Cormier has proven himself the king of the Anal Airwaves with the establishment of the weekly “Freyne in the Ass Award.”

in June. At the Web site where they gather to vent, the cryba bies blasted the press as “lap dogs begging for treats from their masters...Dean and the liberal faction.” Tom Morse, former Republican gubernatorial can didate, called for the stockpil ing of automatic weapons, and famous novelist John Irving of Dorset called Act 60 “Marxist.” Time magazine was on the case with “The Revolt of the Gentry,” in which Act 60 oppo nent, The Virgin Mary

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Barrosse of East Dorset, was quoted as saying, “It makes me feel like someone is going to get shot.” The poor, frickin’ Vermont gentry! Poor John Irving, in his million-dollar home, said he didn’t want his kids to become the object of “trailer-park envy.” Their intelligent criticism crystallized the issue. Greed was not about to win the field in Vermont. Act 60 is here to stay. Greed, go home! In July, as the tempo picked up toward the fall elections, Massachusetts Carpetbagger Jack McMullen got some press in the nation’s capitol. Mc Muffin made Stuart Rothenberg’s column in Roll Call “The Republican, who is wealthy enough to pique the interest of national political operatives,” writes Rothenberg, “says he has been a ‘frequent’ visitor to Vermont over the years, and has been involved ‘in the community.’ Considering his ‘frequent’ travel between Vermont and Massachusetts, McMullen might as well classify his residence as the Massa chusetts Turnpike.” Then to the rescue on crutches came Fred Tutde of

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Tunbridge. McMunster, er, McMullen, had a primary, opponent after all! We called McMullen up at his Cambridge, Massachusetts, home back then. “Hello, this is Jack McMullen,” said the voice on the answering machine. “I’m glad you called, but I’m away from the phone right now, so I hope you leave a mes sage. We did, and guess what? He returned the call. Since when does “away from the phone” mean “run ning for the U.S. senate in another state?” W ho’ll forget how McMullen and the GOP unsuccessfully attacked the validity of Fred’s nominating petitions? It was “dumb” with a capital “D .” And those slick and insulting McMullen TV spots — yeech! n August, “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad World” was rapidly becoming the moniker for 1998. At a fundraiser for U.S. Senator Patrick Leahy in Lyndonville, the party was crashed by some bozo in a Chicken Man suit. The perp was seen departing in a vehicle with Massachusetts plates. McMullen the carpetbagger was the lead suspect. Boston chicken! The bozo from Beantown got a break with a front-page story in his hometown paper, the Boston Globe! And wouldn’t you know the little chicken refused to return the calls from the Globe reporter! It only reflected the nation al political media madness over Fornigate — the preeminent probe of the presidential prick. Monica Lewinsky had succeed ed Princess Di as the Microsoft Media Queen of the World. On Saturday, August 15, a 500-pound fertilizer bomb was set off in the middle of the market town of Omagh, County Tyrone, in the north of Ireland. That night, the report of the bloodiest tragedy in Ireland’s troubles came after 20 minutes of reports on the exis tence of a certain semenstained blue dress and the impact of presidential DNA on the prickly probe of the “inde pendent” counsel, Kenneth Starr. Oh, bloody Ireland, all in a roar where funerals inspire where saints are no more. Where tears fall like rain and rain falls like war.

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Fred Tuttle defeated Jack Mulholland, er, McMullen, iff the GOP U.S. Senate primary.

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stories of the month involved

Republic had been saved. For now. Primary Day also marked the crowning of Ruthless Ruth Dwyer as the GOP choice for governor. She defeated Bernie Rome and proved once again that in the GOP primary the conservatives do the best job of getting out the vote. That’s what happened in their con gressional race, too, where Sparky Mark Candon beat Jack Long. The guys with the high est IQs got whipped. Interesting. As the media continued to whip up Fornigate and the presidential sex scandal that had become the corner stone of the Republican agenda, O f Bernardo finally in. ‘It’s a pathetic day,” said Sanders, “when every candi date for public office has to disclose every aspect of their sexual life.” Guess what, Bernie? It’s the dawning of a new born-again Republican Age! Better keep it in your pants. God bless America! The political campaigns kicked into full gear in October. The television air waves were saturated with polit ical commercials. But the best

Surlap, Chairman Jerry '• O ’Neill and the police commis sion hired the city’s first woman chief of police. Aiana Ennis, chief at Duke University, was the pick, But O ’Neill slipped her $20,000 more than the advertised price. Turns out gen der wasn’t the issue — money was. Stay tuned. A story with a happier end ing came from Chittenden County Sheriff Kevin McLaughlin’s handling of a leaf-peeping tour-bus snatching. The Texas tour operator had walked out on the tab at the Econolodge two years ago. Walt Levering had a court order in hand when the Texas tour

In a real shocker, Fred Tuttle was defeated by Patrick Leahy in the November election. Leahy spent a ton of money on cutesy television ads. After all, 5(/Pe A ^ o o r

Fred had better name recogni tion. Clearly, money was the difference in the race. Ruthless Ruth Dwyer got 41 percent against Howard Dean. That’s probably the very

At a fundraiser for U .S . Senator Patrick Leahy in Lyndonviile, the party was crashed by some bozo in a Chicken Man suit. The perp was seen departing in a vehicle with Massachusetts plates. returned to a different motel this year. McLaughlin’s deputies nailed him at breakfast, but the Texan stalled on coming up with the cash. The wrecker was on call. But the little old ladies

began boarding for a tour of Shelburne Farms. “Okay, boys, we’re taking ’em to Shelburne farms,” said McLaughlin. An extra-special escort. The Texan came up with the cash by afternoon.

most a right-wing Republican conservative could possibly get in the Vermont of modern times. Act 60 got her an extra 8 percent. Haven’t seen or heard of her since. Some Rs want her to stick around for another run in 2000. Times change, but it’ll still take 51 percent to win. For the Ds the big winner was Lite-Gov Doug Racine. It was a real coming-of-age campaign for him. He stuck to his guns on Act 60 and beat Barbara Snelling by a whisker, despite the fact that WGOP, er, WCAX, kept telling us the race wasn’t even close. Neither politics nor polling nor punditry is an exact sci ence. Hey, it still is December, and if you don’t remember what happened this month, go easier on those holiday cock tails. The best thing about 1998 is, it’ll be over real, real soon. Happy New Year! ®

come to o u r open house Discover opportunities! Visit our Open House and meet with faculty and experienced counselors. Use our flex ib le (Wid UflitfUC of f er i ngs to build your dreams: day, evening and weekend programs are available. For details call 802-846-7030, toll free, 1-888-277-5975, e-mai I: tri n ity@hope.trin ityvt.edu.

Open House Tuesday, January 5 4-7 pm, Mann Hall [ELEANOR ROOSEVELT, 1884-1962]

OF VERMONT

f 0

SEVEN DAYS

december 30, 1998 & January 6, 1999

_ •

W e 'v e c o u n t e d t h e v o t e s ...n o w jo in u s a s w e c o u n t d o w n

T h e T o p 9 9 o f '9 8 o n

N ew

Y e a r 's

Eve!

L is t e n t o t h e B u z z a ll d a y o n N e w Y ea r 's E v e ...M a k e a lis t o f a t l e a s t 2 0 c o n s e c u t i v e s o n g s o n t h e c o u n t d o w n , a n d s e n d it in f o r y o u r c h a n c e t o w i n t h e g r a n d p r iz e :

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Limit one entry per person.

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their families are ineligible to win

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All prize winners shall indemnify WBTZ and all participate from any liability arising out of the winners' use of prizes. In the case of a tie, a winner will be chosen at random frc ^ . . ., , ,.........

x;y:.

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december 30, 1998 & january 6 ,1 9 9 9

SEVEN DAYS

page 15

where to go After Dark Music Series, Knights of Columbus Hall, Middlebury, 388-0216. Alley-Cats, 41 King St., Burl., 660-4304. Backstage Pub, 60 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-5494. Boony's, Rt. 236, Franklin, 933-4569. Borders Books & Music, 29 Church St., Burlington, 865-2711. Brewski, Rt. 108, Jeffersonville, 644-5432. BU Emporium, Bellwood Shpg. Ctr., Colchester, 658-4292. B.W.'s Restaurant, 1 Towne Mktpl., Essex Jet., 879-0752. Cactus Cafe, 1 Lawson Ln., Burl., 862-6900. Cafe Banditos, Mountain Rd., Jeffersonville, 644-8884. Cafe Ole, North Common, Chelsea, 685-2173. Cafe Swift House, 25 Stewart Lane, Middlebury, 388-9925. Cambridge Coffee House, Smugglers' Notch Inn, Jeffersonville, 644-2233. Charlie O’s, 70 Main St., Montpelier, 223-6820. Chicken Bone, 43 King St., Burlington, 864-9674. Chow! Bella, 28 N. Main St., St. Albans, 524-1405. Club Metronome, 188 Main St., Burlington, 865-4563. Club Toast, 165 Church, Burlington, 660-2088. Cobbweb, Sandybirch Rd., Georgia, 527-7000. Diamond Jim’s Grille, Highgate Comm. Shpg. Ctr., St. Albans, 524-9280. Edgewater Pub, 340 Malletts Bay Ave., Colchester, 865-4214. Emerald City, 114 River St., Montpelier, 223-7007. Franny O’s 733 Queen City Pk. Rd., Burlington, 863-2909. Gallagher's, Rt. 100 & 17, Waitsfield, 496-8800. Giorgio's Cafe, Tucker Hill Lodge, Rt. 17, Waitsfield, 496-3983. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg Village, Rt. 116 ,4 8 2 -4 4 4 4 . Greatful Bread, 65 Pearl St., Essex Jet., 878-4466. Ground Round, 1633 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 862-1122. Halvorson’s, IS Church St., Burlington, 658-0278. Henry's, Holiday Inn, 1068 Williston Rd., S. Burlington, 863-6361. Higher Ground, 1 Main St., Winooski, 654-8888. Horn of the Moon Cafe, 8 Langdon St., Montpelier, 223-2895.

F O LK F R IE N D L Y

G o t a Jo n e s for a fresh vo ice and natural vision?

Th e T e xa s -tu rn e d -M a s s a c h u s e tts so n g w rite r Diana Jo n e s fits the b ill.

A t the B u rlin gto n C o ffe e h o u se w ith V e rm o n t’s ow n blues phenom Steph Pa p p a s

Ja n u a ry 9 .

Jake's, 1 2 3 3 Shelburne Rd., S. Burlington, 6 5 8 -2 2 5 1 . J.P.’s Pub, 1 39 M ain St., Burlington, 6 5 8 -6 3 8 9 . LaBrioche, 8 9 M ain St., Montpelier, 2 2 9 -0 4 4 3 . Last Chance Saloon, 147 M ain, Burlington, 8 6 2 -5 1 5 9 . Leunig's, 1 1 5 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 3 -3 7 5 9 . Live Art at the Barre Opera House, Barre, (schedule) 8 8 3 -9 3 0 7 ; (tickets) 4 7 6 -8 1 8 8 . M ad Mountain Tavern, Rt. 1 0 0 , W aitsfield, 4 9 6 -2 5 6 2 . M ain St. Bar & Grill, 1 18 M ain St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 -3 1 8 8 . Manhattan Pizza, 167 Main St., Burlington, 6 5 8 -6 7 7 6 . Monopoles, 7 Protection Ave., Plattsburgh, 5 1 8 -5 6 3 -2 2 2 2 . The Mountain Roadhouse, 1 67 7 Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 -2 8 0 0 . Nectar's, 1 8 8 M ain St., Burlington, 6 5 8 -4 7 7 1 . The Night Spot Outback, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 -9 8 8 5 1 3 5 Pearl St., Burlington, 8 6 3 -2 3 4 3 . Pickle Barrel, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 -3 0 3 5 . Radisson Hotel, 6 0 Battery St., Burlington, 6 5 8 -6 5 0 0 . Red Square, 1 3 6 Church St., Burlington, 8 5 9 -8 9 0 9 . Rhombus, 1 8 6 College St., Burlington, 8 6 5 -3 1 4 4 . Ripton Community Coffee House, Rt. 1 2 5 , 3 8 8 -9 7 8 2 . Ruben James, 1 5 9 M ain S t., Burlington, 8 6 4 -0 7 4 4 . Rude Dog, 1 4 Green St., Vergennes, 8 7 7 -2 0 3 4 . Rusty N ail, Mountain Rd., Stowe, 2 5 3 -6 2 4 5 . Sai-Gon Cafe, 1 3 3 Bank St., Burlington, 8 6 3 -5 6 3 7 . Slammer, Rt. 7 , M ilton, 8 9 3 -3 4 5 4 . Something Cool, 2 2 Brinkerhoff St., Plattsburgh, NY, 5 1 8 -5 6 3 -8 6 3 9 . Swany's, 2 1 5 M ain St., Vergennes, 8 7 7 -3 6 6 7 . Sweetwaters, 1 1 8 Church St., Burlington, 8 6 4 -9 8 0 0 . The Tavern at the Inn at Essex, Essex Jet., 8 7 8 -1 1 0 0 . Thirsty Turtle, 1 S. M ain St., Waterbury, 2 4 4 -5 2 2 3 . Three Mountain Lodge, Rt. 1 0 8 , Jeffersonville, 6 4 4 -5 7 3 6 . Thrush Tavern, 1 07 State St., Montpelier, 2 2 3 -2 0 3 0 . Toadstool Harry's, Rt. 4 , Killington, 4 2 2 -5 0 1 9 . Trackside Tavern, 18 M alletts Bay Ave., W inooski, 6 5 5 -9 5 4 2 . Tuckaway's, Sheraton, 8 7 0 W illiston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 5 -6 6 0 0 . Valley Players Theater, Rt. 1 0 0 , W aitsfield, 4 9 6 -3 4 0 9 . Vermont Pub & Brewery, 1 4 4 College, Burlington, 8 6 5 -0 5 0 0 . V illa Tragara, Rt. 1 0 0 , Waterbury Ctr., 2 4 4 -5 2 8 8 . Windjammer, 1 0 7 6 W illiston Rd., S. Burlington, 8 6 2 -6 5 8 5 . Wobbly Barn, Killington Rd., Killington, 4 2 2 -3 3 9 2 .

Note: Because of early holiday deadlines, some January schedules were not available. Please call clubs for info.

TUESDAY O P EN S TAGE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. M ARTIN & M IT C H ELL (soul DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. JA M ES H A R V EY BAND (jazz) Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. JA LA P EN O BROS, (rock), Nectar’s, 9:15 p.m. NC. B A S H M EN T (reggae/dancehall DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. N C. FLAS H B AC K (’70s-’90s DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $5. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. H AND S PU N (DJ), Emerald City, 9 p.m. $3./5. PAT M C G EE B A ND , T H E B LU E DOGS (groove rock), Pickle Barrel, 9 p.m.

$6. DAVE K ELLE R B LU ES BAND, Nightspot Outback, 9:15 p.m. $5. JETH R O (rock), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $3.

30 WEDNESDAY E LLE N P O W ELL & JO E DAVIOIAN (jazz), Leunig’s, 8 pirrtiJN GJT) !j | K ARA O KE, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. N C ; DISCO FU N K (DJs John Demus & Tim Diaz), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. T H E X-R A YS (rock/r&b), Nectar’s, j 9:30 p.m. NC. JELLY R O LL JAM W/TV BO JAN GLES (New Orleans blues), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC.

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CHIN H O!, D Y S FU N K S H U N , S TARLIGH T C O N SPIRAC Y (alt-rock,. hip-hop/funk; indie), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $4/6. M ETRO M AS SIVE (hip-hop/d ancehall DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. KAR A O K E, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. S K A M A P H R O D IT ES , T H E BEAT ROOTS (ska, eclectic rock), Emerald City Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. $3/5. T N T (DJ & karaoke), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC. T H E DETONATORS (blues/r&b), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. M A N U N K IN D , BLINDSIGH T, DISIL LU S IO N , GONE FOR GOOD (hard core), Knights of Columbus Hall, Middlebury, 7 p.m. $5. DAVE K ELLE R B LU ES BAND, Nightspot Outback, 9:15 p.m. $5. BEN SW IFT BAND , (alt-rock), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $3.

THURSDAY RED BEANS & RICE (blues; NYE party), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. TH E X-R A YS (rock/r&b), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. DJ FR 0 S T EE (disco; NYE party), Club Metronome, 8 p.m. $5. TH E PANTS (alt-rock; NYE/last night party). Club Toast, 9:30 p.m. $10/15. TH E BEAT ROOTS (funk), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. HARD LUCK (rock; NYE party), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. M EL0 GRANT (hip-hop/dancehall DJ; NYE party), Chicken Bone, 9 p.m. $5. JAM IE L EE TH U R S TO N (country; NYE party), Adirondack Ballroom, Radisson Hotel, 9 p.m. $30. Also, C OM ED Y Z O N E DANC E PARTY w/Jim Dailakis, Green Mountain Ballroom, 8:30 p.m. $35. LIT TLE M ARTIN (DJ; NYE party), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $8. EM P T Y POCKETS (rock; NYE party), Henry’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. KARAOKE (NYE party), Franny O ’s, 9 p.m. NC. RUN 21 (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $20 w/buffet. SW IN G IN ’ V ER M O N T BIG BAND (16-piece; NYE parry). Higher

Ground, 9 p.m. $40 (with dinner)/25. DJ DANC E (NYE party), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. PIC TURE THIS (jazz; NYE party), Tavern at Inn at Essex, 9 p.m. NC. DJ & K ARAOK E (NYE party), Thirsty Turtle, 9:30 p.m. NC. B ETS Y & DAN JES S IE (musical cabaret NYE), Villa Tragara, 6 & 9 p.m. $65/75 (w/dinner). KA-BANG (rock dance band; NYE party), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $20. S H A N E AN D C H A R LO TTE BRODIE (folk), Three Mt. Lodge, 6 p.m. N.C. T H E DETONATORS (blues/r&b), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5/8. B L0 0 Z0 T0 M Y (jump blues), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $10. LA M B S B R EA D , C O N C R ETE (reggae, rap; NYE party), Emerald City Nightclub, 9:30 p.m. $5/10. C4 (rock; NYE party), Swany’s, 9 p.m. NC. JO H N N Y DEV IL BAND (rock), Rude Dog Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. ELB OW , T H E DOCTOR, & FRIENDS (rock), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $5. C HR ISTIN E A D LER BAND (blues/r&b), Vergennes Opera House, 9 p.m. $35. BLU ES B LAS TER S (NYE party), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. N EW Y E A R ’S EV E PARTY, Nightspot Outback, 9:15 p.m. $25.

§|

RUN 21 (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $5. T T. V JOHN C A S S EL (jazz piano), Tavern at Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. NC.' BAD NEIGHBORS (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DANC IN’ DEAN (country dance & instruction), Cobbwebb, 7:30 p.m. $5. LIVE J A Z Z , Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. TN T DJ, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC. TRINIDAD TW A & BEN KOENIG (Caribbean), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $7.50. S H A N E AND C HARLOTTE BRODIE, (folk), Three Mt. Lodge, 6 p.m. N.C. S P A N K Y ’S GANG (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5/8. KA-BANG (rock dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5. CHAD (pop rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. Y A N K E E POT ROAST, T H E GOOD QU ESTION (rock), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $3/8. JOHN LACKARD BLU ES BAND, Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. JO H N N Y DEVIL BAND (rock), Rude Dog Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. TH E M IGHTY C HIHU AH UAS (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3. BABAL00 (punk-mambo), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $5.

SATURDAY

FRIDAY

Happy New Year! JOE C APPS (jazz), Sai-Gon Cafe, 7 p.m. NC. PER R Y N U N N (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. N C, followed by DJ N IG H T, 10 p.m. NC. EV O LU TIO N (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. T EX A S TW IS TER (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. RIGHT ID EA (rock), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock). Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. C O M ED Y Z O N E (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. SM O K IN' GUN (rock), Franny O ’s, 9 p.m. NC.

A B S O LU TELY NOBODY (various guests), Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. TEXA S TW ISTER (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FACT0RIA (DJ Little Martin), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. DJ NIGHT (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. SW ING DANCE LES S O N S , Club Metronome, from 6 p.m. $8, fol lowed by RETR 0N 0 M E (DJ Craig Mitchell), H) p.m. NC. K ARAOK E, J.P ’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. H IP-H O P NIGHT, Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. T H E BIG BOYS (blues) Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC.

AU LD LAN G SIGH “ O u t w ith the old and

in w ith the

n ew ” ta k e s on spe cia l sig n ific a n c e at C lu b T o a st this N e w

Y e a r’s Ev e — the Bu rlin gton n igh tspo t c lo se s dow n Ja n u a ry 1 .

Th e Pa n ts — one o f m any local bands w h o cu t th e ir teeth there

— preside over one h e ck o f a g o in g -a w a y p a rty th is T h u rs d a y.

continued on page 19 w

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SEVEN

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VERMONT IN VERSE Attention, songwriters! As promised last week, here’s news of the most unique competition you could ever hope to enter: writing a state song for Vermont. Yep, the Green Mountain State needs a new ditty (does anyone know the old one?) to glorify the maples and the moos, the...well, you get the idea. It seems in April 1998 the State Legislature voted to ask the Vermont Arts Council to solicit a “more singable melody” for the state anthem. Typically, there was no money behind this request, but the VAC has taken on the spirit of fun in the thing, and devised a statewide contest for all ages. The first “tier” is Vermont middle and high school students; the second college and graduate-level students; and the third, all the rest of us amateur or professional songwrit ers. Remember, though, you must be a Vermonter to win (although I believe out-of-state students currently attending school in Vermont are okay). An overview panel — compris ing both well-known and unknown Vermont music types (including Strangefolk’s Reid Genauer) — will review the entries, which are due by March 31. Here are the criteria for the new state song: • It should be “singable” — that is, in a range that most peo ple would find comfortable. (In other words, don’t go for another “Star Spangled Banner.”) • It should celebrate Vermont — representing historical, social and/or natural themes. • It should be effectively performed (that is, make its point) in a single verse/chorus, though it may contain more than one verse. • It should be no longer than five minutes — no jamming. • It should lend itself to different stylistic renditions (submis sions must be in piano/vocal format, but the song should be amenajble to orchestration). C - ,, ’v • It must have lyrics that are original and in the public domain, or available for use with permission from the com poser (e.g., a poem). The panel will whittle entries down to just four finalists per tier, whereupon the songs will be available for a public review. All finalists will receive a stipend (of unspecified amount) and public accolades, and the winner will be announced later this summer. For more info about the state songwriting contest, contact VAC at 828-3291. Go ahead — imagine schoolchildren singing your song into the millennium. DO GOOD DEPT. Go for the gold — give it up for the U.S.

Olympic Committee and give in to a good time with v ip e r H o U S e . The benny’s at Rusty Nail January 7. L e G ra n d & M u n ro

+V '

-V ■• ;>TC:;rr ’■ -

.: '

' ' ' 'A:-

>* ‘ '

t’s finally here — the moment more than 50 Vermont musicians/bands have been waiting for. Well, perhaps not, but all of you who put out CDs, cassettes and vinyl for our listening pleasure this year are to be applaud ed. Whittling the list down to even 20 was tough work, but someone had to do it. And we did. Please note the selections were made only from full-length projects reviewed in Seven Days in 1998 (not compilations, and end-of-year releases not yet reviewed will be considered next year). They appear here in no particular order. The envelope, please.

u .

s 1

Greg Douglass, If I Were a Man.

Suicide Hotline.

m Gordon Stone Trio,

Even With the Odds.

Drowningman, Busy Signal at the

■

DysFunkShun, Gravy.

Invisible Jet.

Hop 2.

Craig M itchell & Orange Factory,

Naked.

■ Construction Joe, Cry Uncle.

■ Rachel Bissex, / Used to Be Nice.

s 11.

■ Wide Wail,

Like It Never Was. Belizbeha, Void Where Inhibited.

12 13 CM o 14 CM

» Picture This, Reach. Chin Ho!, Everything You

Know is Wrong.

• -

'' :'

Katherine Quinn, Leaving Decatur.

O SINGLE TRACKS Look for acoustic reggae from a pair of the

Seven Days

locally legendary reggae bros — the Bobby Hackney DlJO begins an every Thursday thing at the Tavern at the Inn at Essex starting January 7 . . . Listen in to Tim Downey’s show on The Point Sunday, January 3, for Montpelier tunesmiths Mark LeGrand and Sarah Munro . . . Meanwhile, over at Buzz Homebrew on Sunday night, The Halogens check in January 3 with interview and performance, and on January 10, host NiCOle Saltus shares the mike with guest Steve Lemcke for a special two-hour 1998 year-in-review of local It’s slim music pickins in January, what with Toast music gone, Metronome cutting back on live shows, and Higher Ground shut down for much of the month. Seems like a good time to “go within” and figure out what the heck you’re going to do with 1999. Happy New Year, people! (7 )

graphic design. Brochures Business Cards Event Programs

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The Silence Between the Words.

16 s 17

Dave Keller Blues Band, Faith.

■ Four Color Manual,

Guardian For a Year.

18 19

Skamaphrodites.

Jamie Lee Thurston,

Long Time No See.

864-5684 255 South Champlain Street -

Band nam e of th e w e e k : F u d g e

december 30, 1998 & january 6, 1999

Barbacoa

Vfj&i

sOUnd AdviCe continued from page 17

SOLOM ONIC SO U N D S Y S T EM (reggae DJ), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. $1. C O M ED Y Z O N E (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. JA M IE L E E T H U R S TO N (country), Adirondack Ballroom, Radisson Hotel, 9 p.m. $10. G U Y COLASACCO (singer-song writer), Jakes, 6:30 p.m. N C. E M P T Y PO CK ETS (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. LIV E J A Z Z , Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. RICK G U ES T (rock), Backstage Pub, 8:30 p.m. $2. BAD N EIGHBORS (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. N C. LIV E M USIC (country-rock; round & square dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. JO H N N Y DEV IL BAND (rock), Rude Dog Tavern, 9 p.m. N C. LIV E M USIC , Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $4/5. CHIN H O!, C A N IN E (alt-rock, funk-reggae), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $4/6. S ETH YA C 0 V 0 N E B LU ES BAND , Mad M ountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. LOIS LA N E (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5/8. KA-BANG (rock dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5. JO EY LEO N E TRIO (blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. TH E M IG H TY C H IH U AH U A S (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3. SKAV00VIE & T H E EP IT 0 N E S , (ska), Toadstool Harry’s, 9 p.m. $5.

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3 SUNDAY S A M U E L G U AR N AC C IA (classical guitar), Windjammer, 10:30 a.m. NC. TH E B LAM E (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. N C. M ETRO P U B , Club Metronome, 4:30 p.m. $5. RUSS & CO. (rock), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. N C. K ARA O K E, Edgewater Pub, 7 p.m. NC. K ATH ER IN E QU IN N (singer-song writer), La Brioche, 11 a.m. N C. LIVE M USIC (acoustic), Main Street Bar & Grill, 11 a.m. N C. JO EY LEO N E DUO (Delta blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 7:30 p.m. NC. RICK REDIN GT0 N (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3. ACOUSTIC JU N C TIO N (acoustic groove), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $6.

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MONDAY A L L E Y CATS JAM W /NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. ORANGE FAC TORY (acid soul/funk), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. M ETRO SW ING (dance lessons), Club Metronome, from 7 p.m., $8, followed by D A N C E P A R TY , 10 p.m. N C. FU EL (alt-groove), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $7/9.

802 864-7411 802 864-7474 -

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continued on page 2 0 december 3 0 ,19 98 & january 6 ,1 9 9 9

SEVEN

DAYS

page

^Got the loot^ from Granny. Fm going to

F U LL TANK

BEAUTY AND THE BLUES Vermont chanteuse

Christine Adler greets the

new year with soulful,

smoky blues and spicy r&b

— at the Vergennes Opera

House this Thursday.

I 5 0 A C h u rc h St. (d o w n s t a ir s ) * 8 6 3 -TAN K continued from page 18

TUESDAY O P EN STAGE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. BEN & ELLO R Y (Irish), Halvorson’s, 8 p.m. $4. JA M IE M A S EFIELD & DOUG PERK IN S (bluegrass/acoustic), Muddy Waters, 9 p.m. NC. P A U L A S B E LL & CLYDE STATS, (jazz), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. NC. LIT TLE M ARTIN (swing DJ), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. LIV E M USIC , Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C.

DAVE K ELLER B LU ES BAND Nectar’s, 9:15 p.m. NC. B A S H M EN T (reggae/dancehall DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.R’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. RICK COLE (acoustic), Three Mt. Lodge, 6 p.m. N.C. BOOGIE NIGHTS (’70s retro), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $7.

WEDNESDAY JASON BERGM AN & P A U L A S B E LL (jazz), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. NC. K ARAOK E, 135 Pearl, 9:30 p.m. NC.

DISCO FU N K (DJs John Demus & Tim Diaz), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. CROSSTOW N TRAFFIC (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. LIV E M USIC, Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. M ETRO M AS SIVE (hip-hop/dancehall DJ), Club Metronome, 9 p.m. NC. K ARA O KE, J.P.’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. ACOUSTIC JAM W ITH H A N N IB AL H ILL, Alley Cats, 6 p.m. N.C. T N T (DJ & karaoke), Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. NC. JACK VIETAS (blues fingerpicker), Good Times Cafe, 7:30 p.m. Donations. DEM BROOKLYN BUM S (swing), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $7.

Burke Mountain: Jan. 3 (the only Sunday)

Sugarbush: Jan. 8

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a different mountain every Friday through April 2nd.

ift Mee

skiing o r snowboarding with your coupon.

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great prizes at the apres-ski boogie.

m buttons available a t SkiRack, Alpine Shop, Stow e S tre e t Em porium , Colt & Ski W arehouse,

Dartm outh Co-op, Outspokin’ Bicycle & Sp o rt Shop, Onion R ive r S p orts, Village Sp o rt Shop

H * s p o n so re d b y :

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b u riin g tcn /m o n tp elier

w h ite r iv e r junction/lebanon

page 20

SEVEN DAYS

95.7 st. jo h n sb u ry/littleto n

december 30, 1998 & january 6, 1999

W ALKER

W± V A ermoXnt'sTOwVn A J

www.nointfm.com

THURSDAY

Critics love to rave about Pat

E L L E N P O W ELL & TOM C LEA R Y , (jazz) Leunig’s, 8 p.m. N C. C ONSTRUCTION JO E (alt-country), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. N C. H ELIC O P TER CON SO RTIUM (freakrock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. NC. BILLINGS BREW BAND (jazz/blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. O P EN M IKE W/D. DAVIS, Cactus Cafe, 9 p.m. NC. LOCOM OTION (DJ Little Martin; 70s disco), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. NC. G U Y C0LASACC0 (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. LIV E M USIC (rock), Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. K AR A O K E, Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. BOBBY H A C K N EY DUO (acoustic reggae), Tavern at Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. NC. DJ & K AR A O K E, Thirsty Turtle, 9:30 p.m. NC. ELIS A B ET H VON TRAPP, (singersongwriter), Giorgio’s Tucker Hill Lodge, 7 p.m. N.C. V IP ER H 0 U S E (acid jazz; benefit for US Olympic Comm.), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. Donations. DJ PA R TY , Gallagher’s, 8:30 p.m. $5/8. K AR A O K E, Swany’s, 9 p.m. NC. LO V E S EED M A M A JU M P (rock cov ers), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $7.

ReCYCLE

McGee’s meteoric rise from a storyteller-cum-singer-songwriter,

so we will, too. As his band picture clearly proves, Virginia-based McGee isn’t alone onstage anymore, and with his mates turns out some of the finest groove-pop on the touring circuit. At the Pickle Barrel December 2 9.

8 FRIDAY CLYDE STATS (jazz), Windjammer, 5:30 p.m. NC. JOE CAPPS (jazz), Sai-Gon Cafe, 7 p.m. NC. UNC OM M ON T O N G U E (alt-rock), Borders, 8 p.m. NC. P ER R Y N U N N (acoustic), Ruben James, 5 p.m. N C , followed by DJ NIGHT, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC , Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. EV O LUTION (DJ Craig Mitchell), 135 Pearl, 10 p.m. $4/5. LIV E M USIC , Club Metronome, 9 p.m. $5.

LIVE M USIC , Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. FRY DADDY (Latin blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. COM ED Y Z O N E (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. EM P T Y POCKETS (rock), Franny O ’s, 9 p.m. NC. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC, Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. JOHN C A S S EL (jazz piano), Tavern at Inn at Essex, 8 p.m. NC. BLU E V00 D00 (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. NC. DANCIN’ DEAN (country dance & in struction), Cobbwebb, 7:30 p.m. $5.

holdgoods

December Holi Calendar

E S 9 fc

PurchaseJL00raffleticketstobenefitjob Proiram6wintiftcertificatesto localstores6restaurants

Season 6 buyjnexpem ive, recyded 6 refurbished

Workshop1Holiday Giltmaking&wrap pingusingracycbd products 11-2 pm

W orkshop:Print Paunrc akingoncardw/ dhreadseevoeve$r5$.0200 M reyce1d0-1 lo2apm worth o f fre e to y s mtrays Dec.4-10

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2S% O f f S e le c t e d E l e c t r o n i c s

25 % O f f A l l

9 SATURDAY DIAN A JO N E S , S T E P H PA PPAS (singer-songwriters), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $6. SCO TT M C A LLIS T ER (jazz guitar), Borders, 2 p.m. NC. LIV E M USIC (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC.

c o n tin u e d on page 2 2

17| 18| Pick-up6 DeliveryAvailable Rainffle Draw g$pm D ry e rs :

2o 2I| 22] 23 AllDonationsareusedinourJobTrainingProgramforpeopleintransition EarlyClosing 2pm SantaH-12pm ' ' ^ ^ COMpUteTS

HUGE

B P ^ C h ris tm a s party with Tammy Fletcher and The Disciples

Jo b b the giving spirit and Donate your repairable 6 reuseable furniture, appliances, electronics, computers, 6 other household goods to Recycle North 6 receive a tax donation receipt

Trainint

9 p.m. N C . T H E M IG H TY C H IH U A H U A S (rock), Nightspot O utback, 4:30 p.m. $3. LO V E S EE D M A M A JU M P (rock cov ers), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $8.

The Rusty Nail presents . . .

Bring in non-perishable food items all month to benefit Emergency Food Shelf 6 receive 5~I5%off store purchase h

LIV E J A Z Z , Diamond Jim’s Grille, 7:30 p.m. NC. T N T DJ, Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. N C. JASON BERGM AN & FRIEN D S (Bach to blues), Villa Tragara, 6:30 p.m. $7.50. RICK C OLE (acoustic), Three Mt. lodge, 6 p.m. N .C. T H E C LIQ U E (Top 40 dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5. AN G R Y S ALAD (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5/8. (SIC) (alternafunk), Mad M ountain Tavern, 9 p.m. $4. V IP ER H O U S E, S N A K ER 0 0 T (acid jazz), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $5/8. COBALT B LU E (blues), Mountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE MUSIC (rock), Rude Dog Tavern,

(jJiugjL, g lo r if ie d u s e d c lo t h in g ’

Storere-opens regularhours

Door Prizes ° Furby Raffle ° Proceeds go towards charity

$5 bucks

VT’s Largest New Y ear’s Eve P arty \ fe a tu r in g :

HappyNewYear! 2 6 6 P i n e S t r e e t , B u r l i n g t o n • 6 5 8 - 4 1 4 3 • M o n . - S a t 9 = 3 0 -6 • S u n I O - 3

NYC’s Rock-n-RoH dance band

PraxAx by Twanger TM

Ka Bang Patent Pending Rhythm hand exercise

Belt it On - Groove on the Move

Noisemakers ° Champagne Toast ® Late Night Breakfast Buffet

Great Gift! Git/Elec $40 Bass/5 $48

Air guitar, student or pro It’s all about rhythm to wear on the go.

non-stop music from NYC’s hottest nite club d.j.

Bass/4 $45 Add $10 for Amp-Ready

www.twanger.com H a lf price n o w at th e fo llo w in g lo catio ns:

A d v a n c e M usic, Verm ont F o lk Instrum ents, and Calliope in Burlington. P la y It A g a in S a m , M o ntp elier

COME EARLY, STAY LATE! doors open at 8 p.m. $20 per person - no reservations Coming Jan. 7th: special fundraiser fo r US Olympic Committee featruine VIPERHOUSE

december 3 0 ,19 98 & january 6 ,1 9 9 9

3-N SEVEN DAYS

page 21

FACTORIA (DJ Little Martin), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. $4/5. DJ NIGHT (hip-hop/r&b DJs), Ruben James, 9 p.m. NC. LIV E M USIC , Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. SW ING DANC E LES S O N S , Club Metronome, from 6 p.m. $8, fol lowed by RETR O N O M E (DJ Craig Mitchell), 10 p.m. N C. K AR A O K E, J.R’s Pub, 9 p.m. NC. H IP-H O P N IG H T, Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. SO. C ATH ER IN E ST. JUG BAND (bluegrass groove) Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. NC. SOLOM ONIC SOUND S YS T EM (reggae DJ), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. $1. C OM ED Y Z O N E (stand-up), Radisson Hotel, 8 & 10 p.m. $8. G U Y COLASACCO (singer-song writer), Jake’s, 6:30 p.m. NC. ABAIR BROS, (rock), Henry’s Pub, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE J A Z Z , Tuckaway’s, Sheraton Hotel, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC , Trackside Tavern, 9 p.m. $2. QU AD RA (rock), Backstage Pub, 8:30 p.m. $2. B LU E V00 D00 (rock), Edgewater Pub, 9 p.m. N C. LIV E M USIC (country-rock; round & square dancing), Cobbweb, 8:30 p.m. $7/12. N IG H T IN G A LE, DAVE M A LLET T (contra dance band, singer-songwriter), Live Art at the Barre Opera House, 8 p.m. $17/15. LIVE M USIC (rock), Rude Dog Tavern, 9 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC , Thirsty Turtle, 9 p.m. $4/5. V IP ER H 0 U S E (acid jazz), Emerald City Nightclub, 9 p.m. $5/8. W ATER’S ED G E REVIVAL (acoustic), Mad Mountain Tavern, 4 p.m. NC,

Q uality used records, tapes and^cd’s Now Open Seven Days a Week!

UPSTAIRS 2 0 0 MAIN ST., BURLINGTON • 8 62-5363 Hours: Mon - S a t 11-5:30 Sun 12-5

Treat yourself!

a le is u re ly lu n ch a t e D a ily P la n e t — fo r b u s in e s s o r fo r p le a s u re !

Let your server know if you do have a schedule to keep!

DAILY

O ff the M arketplace 15 C enter Street B u rlin g to n

862-9647

a p ro p o s

followed by JOHN BROW N’S BODY "T (reggae), # p.m. $ 4 ' ; ' r A N G R Y S ALAD (rock), Gallagher’s, 9 p.m. $5/8. T H E C LIQ U E (Top 40 dance band), Rusty Nail, 8:30 p.m. $5. JU LIE T ILLER BAND (blues/funk), Cafe Banditos, 9:30 p.m. $3. DAVE K ELLE R B LU ES BAND, M ountain Roadhouse, 9 p.m. NC. CHRIS S M ITH ER S (singer-song writer), After Dark Music Series, Knights of Columbus Hall, 7 p.m. $15/17. T H E M IG H TY C H IH U AH U A S (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3. LO V E S EED M A M A JU M P (rock covers), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $9.

1 1

MONDAY A L L E Y CATS JAM W /NERBAK BROS, (rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. NC. K ALLIT M OLLY (rock), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. ORANGE FACTORY (acid soul/funk), Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. M ETRO SW ING (dance lessons), Club Metronome, from 7 p.m., $8, followed by DANCE PARTY, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC (rock), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $7.

TUESDAY

SUNDAY S A M U E L G U ARN AC C IA (classical guitar), Windjammer, 10:30 a.m. N C. S H EE FR A (Celtic), Leunig’s, 11 a.m. NC. COBALT (blues), Nectar’s, 9:30 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), Chicken Bone, 10 p.m. NC. K AR A O K E, Edgewater Pub, 7 p.m. NC. ERICK K0 SK IN EN (acoustic blues), La Brioche, 11 a.m. NC. LIV E M USIC (acoustic), Main Street Bar & Grill, 11 a.m. NC. JO E Y LEO N E DUO? (Delta blues), M ountain Roadhouse, 7:30 p.m. NC. RICK REDINGT0N (rock), Nightspot Outback, 4:30 p.m. $3. LO V E S EED M A M A JU M P (rock covers), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $7.

OPEN STAGE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse at Rhombus, 8 p.m. $3-6. JAM IE M AS EFIELD & DOUG PERKINS (bluegrass/acoustic), Muddy Waters, 9 p.m. NC. JASON BERGM AN & FRIEND S, (jazz), Leunig’s, 8 p.m. NC. • M ARTIN & M ITC H ELL (soul DJs), Club Metronome, 10 p.m. NC. LIVE M USIC , Red Square, 9:30 p.m. NC. U NCOM M ON TO N G U E (rock), Nectar’s, 9:15 p.m. NC. B A S H M EN T (reggae/dancehall DJ), Ruben James, 11 p.m. NC. RUSS & CO. (rock), J.P.’s Pub, 9:30 p.m. NC. REBECCA PADU LA (folk), Three Mt. Lodge, 6 p.m. NC. FIGHTING GRAVITY (modern rock), Pickle Barrel, 8 p.m. $6/8.

Fiction • Mystery

G iv e t h e jo y

open daily 10-8 sun 11-5 40 church st, burlington %

77 Main Street In Downtown Montpelier

Poetry • Science Fiction Biography • History/

BO OKS Politics • Travel

For H

the

o l id a y s ...

Nature/Field Guides

fggglBl

Cj EVERY DAY!

B en* ° * * Si Franklin

Upstairs in the Childrens Room:

QftjS/e? Qrdft^

New Yew’s Only (Friday,Jati

1,1999),from, 10AM-5PM,

Business • Computer

HOLIDAY SALE! All leather I jackets uppto

LEATHER

i S

Board Books ■ Picture Books Early Readers Young Adult

Crafts • Gardening

BGDKS

Cookbooks • Calendars Cards • and more!

229-0774 ASK ABOU T O U R RF.ADKR’S C l UB D ISC O U N T!

in the, stor^ U discounted; by 2 0 % - utcluJituj custom/ frames! (New, jwb-jmd orders only.)

A p p efif Afe all your leffovers?' Didn'f Share Ulifh ?ido?

Reeling goflfy? c«m e down and p ick up some fla vo re d iporr

fe n m s b a lls and gourm ef fr e a fs .

'ewel eavinq,

com e. S if . S f ay. Shop. Iworl

Le a ve wagging yoor f a il.

S I 8 S h e lb u rn e R oad N ext to M all 1 8 9 Eth an A lle n S h o p p in g C e n te r on N orth A v e page 22

SEVEN DAYS

december 30,1998 & January 6,1999

2 .Z c h u r

m c Sf r e e f , B u rlin g fo *

Thank you Justin G Dennis .

•fo r creating a supreme

venue fo r live enter tainment •fo r all your hard work , dedication and tireless commitment to the local G national music scene •fo r your professionalism •fo r your friendship

You've rocked this town for the last 51/2years, and Burlington w ill never forget you. W e're gonna miss you and your night club. Good luck 8 H appy N ew Year!

1 Cheers! I

From just a few

o f your m any A

—

supporters: ^ Dirk 6 1 1 Peg • Nicole • Stef anie Swanson • Eros • Chris Savage Andrew Musty • Autumn 8 Andre • larence S Leslie • Tim • Susan S Judy • Simon - Erie Olsen • Mark 8 Carrie ^ ^ |^ K k , t h e Crew at Muddy Waters • John 8 the staff of Sneakers ^ 0 0 ^ • Kathy 8 Tim • Matt Thorsen • Craig Mitchell • Scott McG • Mia • Marnie 8 Laura • Bag of Panties^^ k Amazon Astrud • Chris Miller • Astrid • Jacob • Josh Mechem • Dysfunkshun • K ille r ^ i Pussycat • Kami • Kit • With Special Thanks from Sergei Ushakov • Kim 8 Lindsey 1 1 r \ u l o w • Aimee Petrin 8 Zach Ward • Eric B. 8 Dot • Melanie N. • Sarah Abely 8 B v X.Kevin Austin * Luis * Hutch, Danielle 8 Neil • Tom 8 Nicole Sharrow \ / • Margaret • Flex Record • The Pants • Invisible J e t \ ^ ^ | # j r • James Harvey • Bill Mullins • Amy Donath • Quinnie • Plum Traders \ • The staff at Pure Pop • Matt 8 Regina • Chris Lentz • Jason Cooley • \ 3 P ^ Strangefolk • The Doctor Jim • Vern W. Guy • Pistol • Scotty J. • Greg • Drew • Construction Joe • David Line EK • All th e f o l k s at A d v a n c e w

done!

M u s ic

‘

S e ve n D a ys*

The rest of the gang at

9 w u h qoucT' , q u it m n in d in q

Club Toast

1 \

december 3 0 ,1 9 9 8 & january 6 ,1 9 9 9

V?'-

SEVEN

DAYS

page 23

Soups

W ild Mushroom Bisque *

Crab, Roasted Corn and Sweet Potato Chowder

Salads

Baby Field Greens with Chevre, Roasted Fennel and Sauteed Pears, Tossed with a Pomegranate Vinaigrette

* Warm Spinach and Arugula with Cornbread Croutons, Slab Bacon, Mushrooms, Red Onion and Red Bell Peppers

A ppetizers *

Sauteed Foie Gras with Raspberries Lobster Enchiladas W inter Vegetable Ravioli

Tequila Cured Salmon

E ntrees *

Grilled Red Snapper

Pepper Crusted Beef Tenderloin *

Roast Duckling Rack of Lamb

Chicken and Seafood Paella Venison Medallions Mediterranean Vegetable Roulade

* Order either a la carte or as a four-course entree all inclusive (with a split of champagne per couple.) Bar menu also available.

The best way to keep warm First Night New Years celebration, its also the best way to be entertained by the greatest gathering of performers this side of, well, last years bash. Some of what s come around before — folk favorite Jon Gailmor, the Kamikaze Comedy troupe, the V SQ /W ood s Tea Company — goes around again. In the spirit of the holiday, newcomers naturally make the scene — the New York City Dancers, the Cambridge Classic Chorale, folkie

H O P K IN S

CENTER

/tefWte I

A Line A Line Around Around thethe Blocl Block

A daughter’s theatrical memory of her Latin showbiz father.

fLC < ^le\d

”

The N ew York Tim es

Friday & Saturday • January

Spotlight discussion with Marga Gomez following each performance

srm

tuesday

Out of the L.A . Watts riots of the '60s came the forerunners of rap

music

WATTS PROPHETS

AMATEUR MUSICIANS ORCHES TRA: Vermont Symphony violinist David Gusakov oversees this weekly harmonic convergence of amateur musicians in the Music Room, S. Burlington High School, 7:30-9:30 p.m. $5- Info, 985-9730. ADAM WORKMAN: The virtuoso flutist gets Bach with an international group of musicians. Ensemble and full arrange ments of Gluck and Debussy are also in score. Vergennes Opera House, 7:30 p.m. $7. Info, 877-6737.

3 Performance Poets and Live Music Trio 'iSpd^JanuaryM Spaulding Auditorium

6 0 3 .6 4 6 .2 4 2 2

M on - Fri, 10 am - 6 pm • Sat, 1 pm - 6 pm • V isa /M C /A m e x/D isco ve r Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, NH 03755 • www.dartmouth.edu/~hop

DAYS

S e v e n D a y s recom m ends you confirm all calendar events, as times and dates m ay change after the paper is printed.

8&9

8 pm - The M oore T h eater

T IC K E T S & IN F O R M A T IO N

Cale

drama ANNIE’: Northern Stage mounts the Depression-era musical about a little

- december 30f 1998 & january 6, 1999 >.

orphan with a big heart. Briggs Opera House, White River Junction, 7 p.m. $20. Info, 291-9009.

sport PICK-UP VOLLEYBALL: No matter how you set it up, this weekly co-ed adult game amounts to an evening of all-pur pose exercise. Edmunds Middle School, Burlington, 6:45-9:45 p.m. $2. Info, 865-7088.

kids MAGIC SHOW: Kids three and up will be mystified by Marko the Magician at the Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 2-2:45 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216. STORIES AND CRAFTS: Children cut and paste to the chase after a morning story. Borders, Church St. Marketplace, Burlington, 11 a.m. Free. Info, 865-2711. HOMESCHOOLERS GVM AND CRAFTS: Stay-atThome students take part in extracurricular activities at the Burlington Boys and^Girls Club, Oak St., Burlington, 9:30 a.m. - 12:30 p.m. $1. Info, 860-1299.

‘SNOWFLAKE STORYTELLING’: Mary Grass reads from Snowflake Bentley to inspire a round of seasonal craftiness. Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington, 1 p.m. $2. Into, 864-1848. STORY TIME: Kids under three listen in at the South Burlington Community Library, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080. PRESCHOOLERS: Young readers three to five take a book break at Barnes & Noble, S. Burlington, 10 a.m. Free. Info, 864-8001. STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

etc FREE LEGAL CLINIC: Attorney Sandy Baird offers free legal advice to women with questions about family law, housing difficulties and welfare problems. Room 14, Burlington City Hall, 3-5 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7200. BATTERED W OM EN’S SUPPORT GROUP: Meet in Barre, 10:30 a.m. noon. Free. Info, 223-0855. HOMEOWNERSHIP ORIENTATION:

Dan Hurlin’s "T fie Shoul S aturday, J a n u a ry 9 a t 8 pm A 74-year-old Iowa man failed his eye exam and lost his license. Afraid of flying and unwilling to be driven, he undertook an epic journey to visit his ailing brother. Piloting a John Deere riding lawn mower, the man drove 250 miles along the shoulder of the road. Performer Dan Hurlin chronicles this poignant odyssey in this utterly original music theater work, which the Village Voice calls “a sweet tapestry of reflections on the American spirit, aging, and the nature of love.”

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Snowman’s Land By David H ealy

rt is long, and Time is fleeting,” Henry Wadsworth Longfel low wrote in his famous poem, “The Psalm of Life.” Point well taken, but if Longfellow had ever tried his hand at the art of snow sculpting, he might have amended the phrase. “Snow sculpting, done well, can be really great art expres sion,” argues Dr. Brian Machanic, a semi-retired oph thalmologist and enthusiastic local snow sculptor — “though it is transient,” he admits. However short-lived the medium, the team of Machanic and his two sons — Corey and Rick — are preparing to make their mark in the Fourth Annual Vermont Snow Sculpting Competition to be held during the Burlington

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Winter Festival in February. Winners of two of the last three competitions — they passed up last year’s event — the Machanics will again vie for the right to represent Vermont in the national competition held in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, in 2000 . As equable a person as the weather is arbitrary, Machanic got his first introduction to working the hard-packed crys talline mass as a pre-med stu dent at the University of Vermont in the late ’50s. Back then, in a time before the legal and moral gains of the civil rights movement translated into heightened social sensitivity, competitive snow sculpting was an integral part of the universi ty’s Kake Walk festival. Today, Machanic and his fraternity brother’s winning variation on Rodin’s “The Thinker” — one which had the pensively posed figure contemplating two Kake Walkers — would no doubt take on an unintended double meaning. But besides being more p.c., Burlington’s contest is more true to the art of sculpting than the not-so-fine art of building oversized “Frosties” during col lege all-nighters, ventures Machanic. Instead of working from the ground up, each three-member team is given a block of snow 6 feet long, wide and high. Wielding machetes, hatchets and other hand tools, competitors have three days to release the forms and figures trapped within. In addition to a “People’s Choice Award” voted on by spectators, competitors judge their peers and determine a winner based on creativity, technique and message. Two years ago, the Machanics spooled the moose hunt — and won the free trip to the Nationals — by crafting a lifesized bull moose goosing a frightened hunter in the derriere. This year the former eye surgeon is advocating another period piece, but a more fanciful, people-pleasing design is being advanced by his sons, he says. Though snow is a more for giving medium than granite — patching mistakes is common, for instance — it does have its challenges. “It’s much like a chess game, you have to watch the weather forecast,” says Machanic. “You’re given a three- or four-day sculpting venue, so you can’t do too much too soon or often the thing’s going to be right down the drain.” Last year in Lake Geneva, where the good doctor and his sons carved a three-dimensional contemporary Vermont portrait of a snowboarder turning around a fir tree, temperatures reached 50 degrees during the day. As in Machanics college days, the sculptors worked at night and kept their creations

under wraps during sunlight hours. Vermont’s own Easy Rider was no worse for the wear, displaying some fine detail and placing the Mechanics “in the middle of the pack” against some pretty stiff competition. “There was an organizational meeting the first day, and all these vans pulled into the park ing lot replete with scaffolding and huge boxes of sculpting tools,” recalls Machanic, nam ing Alaska and Wisconsin as the two most serious competitors. “We went out there with a little carry-on bag of our chisels, mallets and so forth. It immedi ately became apparent what we were up against,” he chuckles. Machanic declines to state whether he and his artistically inclined sons ever had the best snowman on the block. In addition to the vagaries of New England weather — ice blocks will be used if snow isn’t available — event promoters seem to be fighting an uphill battle to bring would-be arti sans out into the cold. Not counting Sunday brunch cen terpieces, interest in snow and ice sculpture has been decidedly lukewarm in Vermont. In con trast, bus loads of school kids — and up to 50,000 visitors annually — ogle the snow and ice sculpture on display in Wisconsin’s outdoor version of the Louvre. “We’ve got the talent in this state,” observes Machanic. “It’s just a matter of getting the wood sculptors, the bronze sculptors and so forth to do this as a lark for a few days,” he says, adding that it would be nice to give the Midwest artists a run for their money. If Green Mountain pride — or a free mid-winter excursion to Wisconsin — isn’t enough to bring aspiring artists out of the woodwork for the competition held on Burlington’s waterfront, potential participants should note that the cream of the snow-sculpting pack can actual ly make a tidy living carving creatures out of the white stuff. The Machanics, for instance, have been invited to sculpt for Vermont’s ski resorts, and every four years the national champi on goes to the international competition staged at the Olympic venue. But perhaps best of all, and in stark contrast to other public art, there’s little harm in anyone trying their hand at the trade. For as Longfellow would cer tainly remind us, no matter how “stout and brave” our cre ations might be, they all will eventually make their “funeral marches to the grave” — or, in our case, the lake. ® Applications to participate in the Vermont Snow Sculpture Competition are due on January 8. For information, contact Burlington Parks & Recreation at 864-0123.

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Montreal Museum o f Fine Arts through January 10. Pictured,

The Body Sluggish, ”a silver gelatin print.

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o p e n i n g s F R O M H O M E , recent paintings by

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Rona Lee Cohen. Red Mill Gallery, Vermont Studio Center, Johnson, 635-2727. Reception January 2, 4-6 p.m. Through January 5. R A C H E L T R O O P E R , artwork in mixed media. Daily Planet, Burlington. 862-9647. Reception January 3, 3-5 p.m. Show through January. L A R R Y B O W L I N G , “Icons and Ancestors,” and J O H N G E M I G N A N I , “New Thoughts,” paintings. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Reception January 8, 6-8 p.m. Show through January. A R T F R O M T H E H E A R T , paintings created by children from the pedi atric wing of Fletcher Allen Health Care. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8633403. Reception and sale January 9, 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. Show through January.

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Bread and Beyond, Willistpn, 8781761. Through December. A R C H A E O L O G Y F R O M T H E AIR ,

aerial photographs of ancient archaeological sites in Israel. Mezzanine Balcony and Fletcher room, Fletcher Free Library, Burl ington, 863-3403. January 5-23. V E R M O N T P H O T O G R O U P . An Exhibition of Photographs by Ten Area Artists. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through December. I M P R E S S I O N S , oil paintings by Lorraine C. Manley. Sugar Mill Art Gallery, St. Albans, 893-7860. Through April. S EA N C A LL A H A N , G IN N Y H ILA N D , N A N C Y M C K EEG A N ,

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watercolors and photographs. Woody’s Restaurant, Middlebury, 388-4182. Through January.

144 C H E R R Y S TR E E T

w e e k ly

page 34

SEVEN DAYS

december 30, 1998 & january 6, 1999

Visual Arts, Burlington, 865-7165. Through January 20. R U T H G R E E N E M O U L D , Floral Pastels by the late Vermont artist. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 253-7116. Through January 9.

by architect John Anderson. Helen Day Art Center East Gallery, Stowe, 660-3150. Through January 3. V I S I O N S O F S U G A R P L U M S , the 18th Annual Festival of the Christmas Trees. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 253-8358. Through January 3.

M A S T E R F U L M U G S A N D HOLID AY O R N A M E N T S , a seasonal exhibit

A R T R E S O U R C E AS S OC IATION H O L I D A Y E X H I B I T , mixed media

and sale of works by regional pot ters. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury Ctr., 244-1126. Through December. paintings by Pria Cambio. Katie’s Jewels, Montpelier, 229-9649. Through December. A P PR O A C H IN G LIG H T N ES S , a mixed-media exhibit by 15 region al artists. Furchgott-Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848. Through January 5. D I G E S T I N G T H E E N I G M A , recent works by Orion Fredericks. Metropolitan Gallery, Burlington, 865-7166. Through December.

by members. City Center Lobby Gallery, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through January 3. T E R R Y R A C I C H , recent monotypes and paintings on paper, and A N T H O N Y S IN I , paintings and drawings. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 865-3144. Through January. W E B W 0 R K S , a creation of Japanese knot weed, nylon, acrylic and graph paper, inspired by Native American “dream catchers” and mathematics, by Barry V. Miller. City Hall Showcases, Montpelier, 229-2766. Through January 4.

M O S T LY W O M E N H AN G IN G OUT,

V E R Y S P EC IA L ARTS V ER M O N T

oil pastels, acrylic and embroidery paintings and drawings by Sophie Quest. Daily Planet Restaurant Greenhouse, Burlington, 6581450. Through December.

Also, J A Z Z U N D E R F O O T , pho tographs by Misha Makarov. Red Square, Burlington, 859-8909. Through December. V E R N I S S A G E 1 9 9 9 , a retrospec tive of artists represented by the gallery. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. Through December.

annual holiday card originals, show and sale at Higher Ground, Winooski, and Valley Air, South Burlington, 860-6220. Also sold at The Body Shop, Muddy Waters and Peace & Justice Store, Burlington. Through January 1. M I N I A T U R E T O Y T H E A T E R S , an exhibit of puppets and sets by stu dents of puppeteer Emily Anderson, sponsored by Very Special Arts Vermont and Howard Community Services. Fletcher Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through December.

A N N U A L H O LID AY S H O W A N D

TRAVELS THROUGH VERM ONT:

S A L E , and silent auction featuring

Thomas Jefferson’s Role in Vermont Statehood, 1791. An exhibit presented by the Jefferson Legacy Foundation. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 388-2117Through March 5. Also,

L O IS F O L E Y : P A I N T I N G . Also, “An Installation of Deterrents,” by IRA B A R T E L L . Firehouse Center for the

SKYSCAPES & SEA DREAM S,

M ATTHEW TH0RSEN PHO T O G R A P H S , new and older works.

arts and crafts in all media. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Through January 17. R E C E N T DR AW IN G S A N D M O D E L S : Archetypal Forms and

Entropic Buildings, mixed media

listings

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Pleasures, through December.

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By M arc Awodey

A S S O R T E D W O R K S O N P A P E R in

mixed media, by Leonard Duffy. Good Times Cafe, Hinesburg, 482-3040. Through January. O LD B R IC K C H U R C H , new pho tographs by Fred Stetson. Dorothy Ailing Memorial Library, Williston, 878-4918. Through December. COLOR-COATED: P H Y S IC A L A N D P H E N O M E N A L W O R K S , perfor

mance, photography, sculpture and installation by Missy Bly and Josh Reiman. Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Burlington, 864-5884, ext. 149- Through December. Call for times of Missy Bly’s performances. HAROLD A R T H U R D R U R Y & CAROL R O S A LIN D E D R U R Y , a

father-daughter show of paintings. Vermont Arts Council Spotlight Gallery, Montpelier, 828-3291. Through January 2. T H E P R E S E N C E O F L I G H T , pastels, watercolors and oil paintings by Sally Loughridge. Isabel’s on the Waterfront, Burlington, 865-2522. Through December. PR IN T S by Bill Davison. OneWall Gallery, Seven Days, Burlington, 864-5684. Through December. J N E X P E C T E D P L A C E S , handmade prints by Roy Newton. Red Onion Cafe, Burlington, 865-2563. iThrough December. :A M I L Y P I C T U R E S & R E C E N T ’A I N T I N G S by Alice Eckles. Old

|chool House Common, arshfield, 456-8993. Also, E C E N T P R I N T S , Buffalo ountain Coop, Hardwick. Both through December. AN N IS G A L L E R Y G R A N D 0 P E N -

G, featuring the work o f designr/goldsmith Timothy Grannis nd other jewelry artists. Bank treet, Burlington, 660-2032. Ingoing. (JAN E M I C H A L S : Words and nages, photographs and writings \ythe American photographer. Iso, K E I T H H A R I N G , sculptures, | rawings and" objects by the late tist. Montreal Museum of Fine rts, 514-285-1600. Both through nuary 10. M O M E N T O F R IS IN G M I S T :

choes of a Journey in China, | lotographs by Jeffrey P. Roberts. Single Pebble Restaurant, Berlin, 76-9700. Through January 3. ANET M A R T I N , aintings. Art allery of Barre, 476-1030. Iirough January 5. ORGANIC C U R V E S , watercolor I intings by Kate Hartley, hokejacks Restaurant, Islington, 660-2794. Through hcember. IRBAN V I E W S : Really Big Art low and sale by Caravan Arts I sts in a 4’ x 4’ format. Fletcher 'ree Library Mezzanine, rlington, 863-3403. Through member. •KS C REEN P R I N T S by Sally tson. Shimmering Glass Hery, Waterbury, 244-8134. going. O U Q U E T O F F L O R A L S , paint,s and drawings by Pria Cambio, lini’s Restaurant, Montpelier, 5300. Through January 1.

SE NOTE: Seven Days is ble to accommodate all o f the kys in our readership area, thus ( listings must be restricted to &its in truly public viewing (f .Art in business offices, lobbies private residences or studios, occasional exceptions, will not 'opted.

ike every year since at least the time of Rembrandt, 1998 was full of outstand ing and lackluster exhibitions. Such individual events may not be the milestones that best define a place in time. Trends tell a story; events are simply punctuation. Still, 1998 was a notewor thy year for the visual arts in Vermont. Incidents that revealed our cultural shortcom ings were also recognized as highlighting our strengths. Though art prices generally remained below the gilded val ues of 10 years ago, galleries appear to be surviving. A diverse field of nonprofit spaces and educational organizations worked yearlong to produce a wide range of visual arts events. And remarkably, despite their constant appeals for better pub lic funding, not a single state or local arts administrator curled up and died of starvation this year. As for the artists them selves, even blind squirrels were finding nuts, as evidenced by some of the surprising red “sold” dots that popped up like measles in almost every exhibi tion. If 1998 was an important year for the visual arts, let us hope the currents that flowed through it flow far into the future. It was, all in all, a pretty good year. Here are some notable beginnings, continua tions and events — in no par ticular order — that may make 1998 look like the good old days of the future:

•■: ■ •

- ■• r ■' ' •'

v* < ■•■

Street Marketplace, Tf only for the winter.

• “The Hay Project” unrolled across several sites last summer, including Shelburne Farms, to draw attention to the plight o f Vermont’s changing rural econ omy. It struck a chord in the public’s imagination, and gar nered a degree of mainstream rnedia attention unusual for Vermont visual arts events. • Burlington City Arts firmly established the Queen City as the Paris of northwestern Vermont by inaugurating — with the collaboration of Frog Hollow Craft Center, DollAnstadt Gallery, Art’s Alive, Exquisite Corpse Artsite and Rhombus Gallery — the “First Friday” Gallery Tour. The free trolley circuit made art-viewing a monthly mini arts festival. • Public art projects, such as the Waterfront Project and an installation by Rivkah Medow and Andrew Arp, transformed overlooked spaces into “random acts of beauty.” All were highly successful and well supported by the community. The rooftop site for a mural may have been questioned — and subsequently tagged by graffiti artists — but the quality of Rachel Comey’s completed work was not. On the bright side, the abominable bronze “Leapfrog” sculpture has been removed from the Church

• Burlington’s Doll-Anstadt Gallery was launched in late 1997, but it survived through 1998 as a solid, fine arts site bringing artists of both regional and international repute to lower College Street. Some of

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co-operatively run over the v * summer and fall by the Fire house and Rhombus galleries, in the alley space next to Firehouse. Every weekend Burlington-area artists set up en plein air to hawk their wares to the public. Bargains galore flew off the tables — with buyers or with every gust of wind.

J ** --y' • ' .;'c

artists from around the world into Burlington, and intro duced the arts community to the medium’s new tactile and technical possibilities. • “The Print Project” was a similarly eye-opening experi ence. Organizer Don Hanson helped raise funds for a com munity etching press in Burlington by enabling 10 notable local artists to create a unique folio of monoprints, and selling them at philan thropic prices in a week-long exhibit at the Firehouse. • Three regional museums — the Fleming, the Hood and Middlebury College Museum of Art — all produced great exhibitions that introduced Vermonters to some unfamiliar artists. At the Hood and the Fleming, major simultaneous exhibitions of Romare Bearden’s work appeared last spring, and in Middlebury a little known photographer named Talbot Brewer proved to be an equal of his illustrious brother-in-law, Walker Evans. All three muse ums presented impressive print exhibits of contemporary and historic works.

T h e pictu re that la u n ch e d a th o u sa n d protests

The year in pictures, sculptures, talleries and multi-media installations Vermont’s finest also stayed within their stable, despite their (reasonable) introduction of limited exclusivity. • “Naked Man Hung at Rhombus,” read an unusual Burlington Free Press headline after artist Selene Colburn pulled her collaborative show at the Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts rather than remove one offending work at the request of curator Pascal Spengemann. She installed part of the exhibit, including the drawing of a man with a “tumescent” penis, at the alter native arts space on College Street. It was nothing compared to the Starr Report, but the drawing’s sexual content seemed to have exceeded an almost for gotten guideline at the Fire house gallery. The “censorship” incident touched off a flurry of public and private discussions. Faced with an art opening and no art, Spenge-mann brilliantly pulled an 1 lth-hour show out of thin air with an open “invi tational” that gathered 50 wild ly diverse works into a dynamic whole. Helen Day Art Center in Stowe, meanwhile, deter mined that warning signage suf ficed to protect both the inno cent and the easily mortified during a similarly ornery dis pute over “community stan dards.” • The Fine Art Flea Market was

• The nonprofit membership arts organization Art’s Alive established itself as a year-round gallery with the support of Main Street Landing Co., as additional space was provided at Union Station. In 1999, Union Station will be the start ing point for the Art’s Alive annual festival. • Rose Street Co-op became a focal point, along with the Fleming Museum, for The Friends of Dard Hunter paper making conference. It drew

It was nothing compared to the Starr Report, but the drawing’s sexual content seemed to have exceeded an almost forgotten guideline at the Firehouse gallery.

december 30, 1998 & january 6,1999

• Vermont Studio Center in Johnson embarked upon a major expansion this year, acquiring two new buildings and creating 11 new studios. The first MFAs were granted in a joint Studio Center/Johnson State College graduate program. This is certain to become the most credible non-residency graduate program in the state. Considering the high caliber of the critical environment at the Studio Center, it may give Bennington a run for its money someday. Perhaps “cultural tourism” will someday off-set the nega tive effects of global warming in Vermont, as muddy skiers look for things to buy besides sweaters, syrup and ice cream. Here’s a proposal: a year-round, statewide Fine Art Flea Market in the year 2000. Since December 17, 1998 was offi cially proclaimed “Morris Katz Day” — the fastest “draw” in the West — by Burlington Mayor Peter Clavelle, who knows what cultural shenani gans may lay just around the corner? (7) Small-world disclaimer: Marc Awodey is director o f Rhombus Gallery and Artspace. Fie was awards juror for Art's Alive in 1998. He sold a painting entitled "Moby D ick”at the Firehouse Invitational. One o f his Bachelor's degrees is from Johnson State College, and he has art works at Union Station and the Fleming Museum. He would also really like Don Hanson to teach him how to make monoprints, and has spoken on the phone with Morris Katz on many occa sions.

SEVEN DAYS

page 35

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SEVEN DAYS

6. WHAT DREAMS MAY COME

— Vincent Ward’s visually sump tuous adaptation of the 1979 Richard Matheson tome was an emotionally gruelling but relentless ly original exercise in Hollywood theology, and featured work from Robin Williams infinitely more Oscarworthy than the performance (in T h e best and worst in Good W ill Hunting) that earned him one. filmdom, 1998 7. HE GOT GAME — Spike Lee’s latest was good news for fans of human drama. As opposed to, Let’s face it: 1998 wasn’t much of a movie say, meteor drama or giant lizard drama. Power year. Insipid digital exhibitions, formulaic chick ful writing, elegant direction and a searing per flicks and unnecessary remakes were the order of formance from Denzel Washington. Both direc the day. You know you’ve hit some sort of cultur tor and star clearly were at the top of their game. al nadir when the titles that attract the most 8. THE NEWTON BOYS — One of the most enthusiastic response in the course of 12 months underappreciated wonders of the past year. worth of releases are There’s Something About Richard (Slacker) Linklater’s period bankrobber Mary and The Waterboy. And when The Waterboy piece combined the high-spiritedness of The actually turns out to be one of the years best. Sting W\A\ the violence and black humor of In reality, of course, there’s the possibility its Bonnie and Clyde, and the result was an engag not. As usual, the problem inherent in writing a ing, hugely entertaining work not quite like any year-end look at the period’s best and worst in thing else in the genre. mid-December is the fact that a half-dozen of 9. DEEP IMPACT — I know, I know. But, hey, as the most-buzzed-about pictures haven’t made it pricy, star-packed digital confections go, the lat to town yet, and won’t until after this goes to est from Mimi Leder was a deliciously ridiculous press. For example, Life is Beautiful, Happiness, A white-knuckle ride. Robert Duvall.. .Morgan Simple Plan, Waking Ned Divine and Shakespeare Freeman...Vanessa Redgrave. I haven’t seen this in Love. Odds are there’s an Oscar-winner in that much top-drawer talent in a disaster movie since short list. The Towering Inferno. But duty calls, so here’s my list. And keep in 10. THE WATERBOY — I’ve got to be honest — mind I’m not saying that these are the 10 best I really didn’t see 10 films I enjoyed more than and worst movies released in the past year just this one. Adam Sandler’s braindamaged bayou the 10 best and worst I happened to see. Happy mama’s boy was loopily endearing, and the bor New Year, then, and better luck to all us derline surreal script was second only to Clintons cinephiles in ’99. televised denials for fall-down-out-loud laughs.

LOOK BACK IN AM BIVALENCE

THE

Beatty gave a riveting, wildly original performance in this overlooked but brilliant satire, one of the funniest serious films since Dr. Strangelove. 5. ROUNDERS— John Dahl’s gleefully seedy saga of twen tysomething poker ninjas virtu ally mirrored the storyline of the 1961 poolhall classic, The Hustler. But, hey, in an age when every new movie seems to steal from a previous one, the most we can hope for is precise ly what we had here: a really good rip-off of a truly great film.

B E S T (in descending order)

1. THE TRUMAN SHOW — Peter Weir’s candycolored mind game could have used a bit more bite, but it was quirky, surprisingly touching, and the closest thing to a bonafide head movie since Blue Velvet. 2. RONIN — It was great to see legendary direc tor John ( The Manchurian Candidate) Frankenheimer back in top form. Forget the soso storyline; this was a tale of international intrigue to be savored primarily as a celebration of pre-tongue-in-cheek, pre-irony, pre-parody movie mood. Forget also The Spanish Prisoner: Ronin contained the best David Mamet dialogue of the year. 3. OUT OF SIGHT — The latest from Steven (Sex, Lies and Videotape) Soderbergh was simulta neously a tribute to the entire genre of Elmore Leonard adaptations and the best of the bunch to date. If George Clooney and Jennifer Lopez weren’t the sizzlingest screen couple of the year,

december 30, 1998 & january 6, 1999

THE

WORST

(in descending order)

1. ENEMY OF THE STATE — I can’t remember the last time a major director and A-list cast combined talent and experience with such mindnumbing, eye-glazing results. If this lame, shame lessly derivative conspiracy thriller isn’t the all- ; out big-budget bore of the holiday season, all 1 can say is, there must be a G .I Jane sequel I haven’t heard about due any day now. 2. HOME FRIES — .. .or a black comedy so con-1 fused it thinks it’s an upbeat chick-flick. What a load of Southern-fried crap. 3. TARZAN AND THE LOST CITY — Talent-void twentysomething Casper Van Dien mumbles hi$ blankfaced way through a corny, comic-bookquality story that raises the question: How is it we live in an age when Jim Cameron can recreate an entire ocean liner with special effects, but the cretins who made this still think a guy in a mon key suit’s a good look?

cinemas

F iLM Q uIZ 4 . PHANTOMS — Wildly

6. DEAD MAN ON CAMPUS —

underwritten sci-fi foolishness about a backwoods sheriff and

This one’s a nihilistic fratboy laugher so addleminded it made Animal House look like serious art. It’s hard to believe things could get this awful with out Charlie Sheen being involved. 7. MEET JOE BLACK — Who

would have thought it pos sible? Director DANCING WITH MR. D Of course, in Meet Martin Brest Joe Black, the “D” was for dull. somehow man two babelicious brunettes who aged to make love, death and wind up in a deserted even Brad Pitt boring. 8 . THE OBJECT OF MY AFFEC Colorado village saving the world from a subterranean TION — Jennifer Aniston entity with the power to played a personality-free air assume the form of any crea head who gives relationship ture on Earth with the excep advice for a living while dating a guy she can’t stand, getting tion of those which might in any respect prove interesting. pregnant by him and then try 5. DARK CITY — A gloomy ing to guilt-trip her gay room little Froot Loop of an acid trip mate into marrying her. Oh, about spacecadavers who suck yeah, here was a well-adjusted the memory out of human character we could all get beings with funny-looking behind. W hat a tedious and syringes so they won’t remem steaming mountain of movie ber how much they paid to see manure. this hokey, overly artsy hog9. LOST IN SPACE — William wash from Australian headcase Hurt, Gary Oldman, Mimi Alex Proyas-. Rogers and The Ghost and the

Darkness director Stephen Hopkins? I doubt this much talent has been wasted all at once since the plane carrying Buddy Holly and company went down. 10. THE AVENGERS — It just didn’t get any worse than this ■ terminal case ofTV-to-bigscreen stinkies, starring Ralph Fiennes as dapper secret agent John Steed. Which, when you think about it, makes about as much sense as casting Orson Welles in a movie version of “Car 54, Where Are You?” The script was a literary landfill stuffed with strained doubleentendres about sex and neverending references to tea. If there’s a Hollywood cliche that can’t be found in this film that’s no doubt because its cre ators were saving it for a sequel. Not bloody likely. ®

ro le

re c a l

Yes, the face is familiar, but can you place the movie in which the above performer played each of the EXTRA DISCREDIT: THE

characters shown?

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENTS OF 1 9 9 8

• The Spanish Prisoner • Godzilla

• 54 • Simon Birch • The Big Lehowski • Saving Private Ryan

For more film fun don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday on News Channel 5! Tapes courtesy of Passport Video

shorts

L A S T W E E K ’ S W IN N E R S

rating scal e:

***** NR = not reviewed

YOU’VE GOT :A MAIL**1/2 Look for lots of Sleepless in Seattle fans to wait on line for tickets to this Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan reunion from the very same screenwriter. The two fall for one another in an Internet chat room while oblivious to the fact that they are business 'it rivals in the non-virtual world. Greg Kinndar co-stars. Nora Ephron directs. PRINCE 0{j EGYPT (NR) The first traditionally animated release frdffi DreamWorks stu dios tells tKe epic Old Testament story of Moses and features the voices o f Val Kilmer, Sandra Bullock and <•» Martin Short, among others, along with;songs from Pocahontas .composer Stephen Schwartz. . PSYCHO** If you’ve ever doubted for a second that the movie industry has become a

100% purely business proposi tion, the latest from director Gus Van Sant should erase all doubt. W hat is the possible point of a shot-for-shot remake of the Hitchcock milestone featuring Anne Heche, except a guaranteed profit for Universal studios on its $25 million investment? W ith Vince Vaughn and Viggo Mortensen. STAR TREK: INSURRECTION (NR) The ninth installment in

the unscrubbable series stars Patrick Stewardtand takes place on a faraway planet har boring the secret to eternal youth. Brent Spiner co-stars, Jonathan Frakes directs. ENEMY OF THE STATE* Will Smith and Gene Hackman star in Jerry Bruckheimer’s latest action package, the saga of an up-and-coming attorney framed for murder by a shad owy intelligence operative.

A BUG’S LIFE (NR) Antz may

have made it to the theaters first, but everything I’ve seen indicates Pixar’s clever comput er-driven comedy will have no trouble committing insecticide at the box office. Featuring the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and David Hyde Pierce.

DAVID TARTTER CARLY CARLSON M A R T H A BROWN JULIE TAYLOR BILL MORTON PAM N ORM AN H AL JOHNSON DOUGLAS PET ER S O N CINDY DANIELS JULIE S EN ES A C

LA S T W E EK ’S A N S W ER S : W HO? W ILL S M IT H W H Y? H E A L O N E IS N O T A M E M B E R OF T H E C A S T OF W O O D Y A L L E N ’ S CELEBRITY.

DEADLINE: MONDAY • PRIZES: 10 PAIRS OF FREE PASSES PER WEEK SEND ENTRIES TO: FILM QUIZ PO BOX 68, W ILLI5T0N, VT 05495 OR E -M A IL TO u ltrfn p rd @ a o l.c o m . BE SURE TO INCLUDE YOUR ADDRESS. PLEASE ALLOW FOUR • SIX WEEKS FOR DELIVERY OF PRIZES.

MEET JOE BLACK** From The

Scent o f a Woman to The Stench_ o f Death? Well, sort of. In the latest from Martin Brest, Brad Pitt plays a Grim Reaper who

TKOVtLSTOWM

decides to get physical and sample the pleasures of the flesh. Claire Forlani, for exam ple. W ith Anthony Hopkins and Jefrey Tambor. I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRIST MAS (NR) Jonathan Taylor plays a prep school brat who discovers the true meaning of the holidays in the course of a cross-country trip home. Jessica Biel co-stars.

DUE TO O U R E A R L Y H O L I D A Y P U B L I S H I N G S C H E D U L E , L IS T I N G S W E R E N O T A V A IL A B L E AT P R E S S T I M E . PLEASE C A L L T H E C I N E M A S FOR F I L M S A N D S H O W T I M E S .

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december 30,1998 & January 6,1999

SEVEN DAYS

page 37 A - ..

■■•■ ■ '''" ■~.i?C T of New Year’s TV resolutions.

Happy N ew & Improved Year M a k in g r e s o l u t i o n s f o r t h e p e o p l e w h o m a k e TV

But I have promises to keep, A nd miles to go before I sleep. .. omething tells me Robert Frost wasn’t thinking about party plans when he penned those immortal lines in “Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening.” Nonetheless, that’s what New Year’s Eve comes down to for millions of Americans — a night of hop ping from one celebration to another, followed by a morning haunted by hastily made reso lutions. I don’t know about you, but after a night of hop ping, I am often far more interested in feeling better than in behaving better. The last thing that interests me at such times is personal growth. So here’s my holiday gift to you, a little coping device I’ve developed: All the New Year’s resolutions I make are for other people. The way I look at it, there are more of them than there are of me, so odds are

they’re the problem most of the time. This particular form of pro jection is especially well-suited to the area of TV viewing. After all, it’s so easy to imagine a vastly improved cathode uni verse. Don’t we all believe we know better than the bozos who make the television we watch? Never mind that they’re multimillionaires in many cases, with connections right to the White House. Their pro gramming reeks much of the time, so it’s tempting to pre tend we could do better. And what better time for such an exercise than the eve of a new viewing year? I invite you, then, to shirk responsibility for cultivating more sophisticated viewing habits. For switching the chan nel. For just saying no. If any one is going to put a lot of time and energy into improv ing themselves around here, I say it might as well be the peo ple who are making the big bucks. Herewith then, my list

1. Regis and Kathie Lee should just get it over with and give those addled housewives they call every morning the answer to their daily trivia question right up front, and save the audience the trouble of pre tending there’s a sentient being on the planet who can’t answer them. “He played Captain James T. Kirk on television’s ‘StarTrek’... ” “This popular rock group waS1nicknamed the Fab Four...” It’s like “Jeopardy” for the braindead. 2. If there’s one thing I can’t stand another year of, it’s hip, edgy comedians who supple ment the income they earn skewering the establishment by appearing in long-distance phone service commercials. Are we really expected to take the social satire of George Carlin, Chris Rock and Dennis Miller seriously after they’ve barked this malarky at us with a straight face? Way to push the envelope, guys. I say the next time one of them is in town we all bring our cell phones to their show and call each other up while they’re trying to talk. 3. I think we can all agree it’s time for a moratorium on new talk shows. Donny and Marie? Roseanne? Howie Mandel? I mean, can just anybody get one of these things? Maybe what’s needed is a permit process of some kind — you know, like you have to go through before you’re allowed to fish. If this keeps up, so many celebrities will be hosting shows there

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___________ Jim Jones documentary so good it almost made you thirsty. Nonetheless, some of the most tubular programming around is produced by zany TV evangelists, and I see no good reason why the fun should be limited to Lordrelated pledge drives.

4. The Disney braintrust has totally revamped the on-air staff, so how about a new set for “Good Morning, America?” W hat’s with the eerie, out-ofdate pinks and blues? The place looks like Liberace’s rumpus room.

8. And, speaking of which, I’ve got a bone to pick with both public television stations serv ing the Champlain Valley. W hat’s the deal with the week end children’s programming schedule? During the week — when my kids are in school — this stuff goes on and on from dawn into the afternoon. But sudden ly, come Saturday morning, just when I need these guys the most (insert sound of crickets here), Barney, Mister Rogers, Big Bird and their buddies are nowhere to be found! Can you say Ritalin?

I think we can all

agree it’s time for a moratorium on new talk shows.

Donny and Marie? Roseanne? Howie Mandel? I m ean,

can just anybody get one of these things? 5. Ix-nay on the ap-ray. Is it too much to think that Mtv might give it a rest already? No one called the PC police when synth-pop, punk or rockabilly were phased out of rotation by the influential music channel (which, ironically, refused to even play rap videos when it first went on the air). Is there some reason we can’t move on when it comes to rap? After all, it’s not as though we can’t just run down to the nearest preschool sing-along for a fix any time the hiphop craving hits.

T O 6 W E H IM 6P0C? A P W C fc, U l t e *• H u t y

- - hr;:

6. No more new shows for Ted Danson, okay? If I’m not mistaken, the feature film flunk-out got a crack at two sitcoms, both customdesigned for him this past year, without managing to stumble upon a hit. Even Bill Cosby would be hardpressed to match that record, and he’s seen more pilots go down than TWA. ,2- Religious freedom and diversity are beautiful things, not to mention con stitutional givens. They just haven’t quite made it to prime time. Correct me if I’m wrong, but is the dial not just brimming with Christian broadcasting while barren, for example, of Buddhist, Judaic and Muslim shows? Sure, V H 1 has a nifty Black Sabbath retrospective in rotation, and A&E put together a

9. In recent years pro fessional wrestling has experienced the broad cast equivalent of sprawl. Have you noticed? These glisten ing, grunting, panty-wearing steroid cases are everywhere these days; on more and more channels, on more and more pay-per-view “spectaculars,” on winning gubernatorial tickets, even announcing presidential aspirations. I pray we see less of these clowns on TV in 1999 or, at the rate this country is dumbing down, we’re likely to see Ross Perot body-slammed by one of them come the 2000 election. Though I have to ad mit the image has certain appeal.

10. Network heads ought to just pull a Yeltsin and clean house when it comes to movie critics. Both ABC’s Joel Segal and NBC’s long-punning Gene I Shalit are doddering embarrass ments with the critical faculty of French poodles. For their part, self-contained cottage industry Siskel & Ebert seem to give their thumby seal of approval to almost anything the major studios spit out thes days. You know who I miss? Bitchy old Rex Reed. He kept the business of movie-making in perspective, and he kept his audience laughing. W hich,, after all, is the appropriate response to most of the motio| pictures made today. I can’t imagine why he’s no longer or national TV. Though I happen to know another, equally bitchy critic who’s available, should any of the abovementioned slots oper up in the year ahead. ®

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MIDDLEBURY/BURL7SO. B U R L to BARRE: I am looking to share

I’m a working student looking for a ride Tues. or Weds, to Burl./ returning Fri. or Sat. eve to Middlebury. (3035 )

work weekends and am looking to share driving. Hours are 6 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. (3001 )

driving to work. Willing to meet half-way, preferrably on Rte. 7 . Hours are 8 to 5 , M-F. (3057 )

MORRISVILLE to WILLISTON.

I’m looking to share driving on my trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8 to 4 :30 . (2997 )

RICHMOND to ESSEX JUNC TION: I am looking for a ride to

work M-F, generally 9 to 5 , but can be very flexible. (3059 )

BURLINGTON to WILLISTON. I

am looking for a ride to work MF, 8:30 to 5 . (3055 )

am currently earless and looking for a ride to work M-F. My hours are 8:30 to 4 :30 . (3031 )

BARRE to BURLINGTON. I am a

SWANTON to ST. ALBANS. I am

student looking for a ride M,W,F, 8 a.m. Flex, return. (3051 )

UNDERHILL to BURLINGTON: I

RICHFORD to BURLINGTON. I

HYDE PARK/JOHNSON to WILLISTON. I am looking to

share driving on my long trek to work. Hours are M-F, 8:30 to 5 . (2997 ) PLATTSBURGH/GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON. I am a nurse

HINESBURG to BURLINGTON.

am looking for a ride to the UMall M-F, 9:30 a.m. (3040 )

BURLINGTON to SO. BURLING TON.- I am a recent arrival to

work 9 to 5 , M-F & looking to share driving. (2814 )

GRAND ISLE to BURLINGTON.

town looking for a ride to work M-F, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. (3028 )

BURLINGTON to SO. BURLING TON. I am an energy-conscious

BURLINGTON to COLCHESTER.

I am a teachers’ aide looking for a ride to Colchester. My hours are 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. (3026 )

Hey, Johnson...I need to borrow your electric pine cone trimmer for awhile.

company on your commute to work 2 or 3 days per week? I’m willing to ride along or share the driving. Work 7:30 to 5 p.m. (2892 ) BURLINGTON to SHELBURNE.

With all the construction on Shleburne Rd. & only one person in most cars, how about helping reduce the congestion? I’d like to ride w/ someone & willing to pay. Work 8 to 4 :3 0 , M-F. ( 2905 ) BURLINGTON to STOWE. I’d

like to hook up, with someone and share the ride to work. I work 8 to 4:30 p.m., M-F with some flexibility. (2906 )

SHELBURNE to RICHMOND.

Vermont^

Rideshare

night owl looking for a ride one way to work around 4 :3 0 . (2983 )

the crinkley caress of crenulated crevice clips

RED M E A T

BURLINGTON to JEFFERSON VILLE. Would you like to have

working the graveyard shift, 1 1 to 7 , various days of the week. I’m looking to share driving with someone dependable. (2993 )

a late sleeper looking for a ride to work at noon. I work M-F, noon to 7 p.m. or later. (3033 )

I’m looking to share driving on a smoke-free commute to work. Hours are M-F, 9 to 6, some flex. (3038 )

alone. Call Diane H., house keeper to the stars. 6 5 8 - 7 4 5 8 . “When power corrupts, poetry cleanses...and I hear Poetry is their middle name.”— John Fitzgerald Kennedy. having your home cleaned and you’ll have the energy and time to pursue your New-Year’s resolutions. I offer reliability and quality cleaning at reason able rates. Refs, available. Cal Cheryl, 8 6 0 - 103 9 .

BURLINGTON to WILLISTON.

I am a ski bum working at Sugarbush this season looking to share driving to/from the moun tain. My hours are 8 to 4 , vary ing days. (3022 )

N .E . SIN G LES CONNECTION:

C L E A N IN G S E R V IC E S

GIVE YOURSELF TH E G IFT OF

BURLINGTON to SUGARBUSH.

from the secret files of M

Damn, Ted...l was just joking around with you. Why the hell would anybody have an electric pine cone trimmer?

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I know what you mean, Don. The old gas-powered “ Pine Weasel P-391" gave you vastly superior lateral cone-shaping control.

The

S traight

' J Dear Cecil, Why does a nuclear explosion form a mushroom-shaped cloud?I f you would tell me why frantic and furious fusion and fission have a fondness for the fungus form, I would certainly appreciate it. — Paul Smith, Tampa, Florida Shame on you, Paul. You know I cringe at F-words. You don’t need an atom bomb to make a mushroom cloud, just convec tion. Mushroom clouds typically occur when an explosion pro

duces a massive Fireball. Since the fireball is very hot and thus less dense than the surrounding air, it rises rapidly, forming the cap of the mushroom cloud. In its wake the fireball leaves a col umn of heated air that acts as a chimney, drawing in smoke and hot gases from ground fires to create the stalk of the mushroom. Since the center is the hottest part of the mushroom cloud, it rises faster than the outer edges, giving the impression that the cap is curling down around the stalk. Thus the familiar fungal form. Hydrogen bomb explosions are so huge that the cloud may reach the tropopause, the boundary in the atmosphere where the temperature begins to rise sharply. The cloud generally can’t break through this, and the top flattens out, producing an espe cially pronounced mushroom shape. (The tropopause also forms a ceiling for thunderheads, producing their anvil shape.) Mushroom clouds aren’t necessarily big. One of the Teeming Millions tells me he once set off a carbide noisemaker-type can non with the igniter mechanism removed. Out of the hole where the igniter was supposed to go there issued a 10-inch mushroom cloud with a stem of fire and a cap of black smoke. And, we must suppose, a fabulously fierce foomp. Dear Cecil, Why is it that a young, struggling writer can pay to have his or her work printed — and it’s called "vanity"publishing. But a young film grad can write, produce, direct and star in his or her own movie and it’s called "independent filmmaking?”Where, in art, do we cross the line from independent to vain? — Marc Mitchell, via the Internet No question, sometimes it’s a pretty fine line. To put it strict ly in print terms, self-publishing — the equivalent of indepen dent filmmaking — is what you do when you can’t find a regular publisher but nonetheless have some reasonable expectation of being able to sell what you wrote. Vanity publishing is when you’ve abandoned all hope. Vanity publishers — the ones who run those Authors Wanted

ads — will take a manuscript and, for a stiff fee, turn it into a book. You wind up with a garage full of printed copies, but that’s about it — promotion of vanity books is usually minimal. Vanity publishing tends to attract people with delusions of grandeur who just want to see their prose in print. (To be fair, vanity presses also print a lot of family histories and such, where mak ing money is not the object.) Self-publishing no doubt attracts its share of deluded souls, but it requires you to have a little more on the ball. Typically the author of a self-published book not only writes the thing but also arranges for its design, printing, marketing and distribution. Most self-published authors are lucky to break even, but a few hit it big. Some books that were initially self-published: • The Joy of Cooking, by Irma S. Rombauer. Self-published in 1931. Rombauer had a firm produce the book, but she did all the promotion. It was picked up by a trade publisher and to date has sold more than 15 million copies. • What Color is Your Parachute? by Richard Nelson Bolles. Sold five million copies. • The Celestine Prophecy, by James Redfield. Initially sold out of his car, it went to Warner Books for $800,000. • The One Minute Manager, by Kenneth Blanchard and Spencer Johnson.-Sold 20,000 copies before being picked up. • 50 Simple Things You Can Do to Save the Earth, by the Earthworks Group. Sold 3.5 million copies. • Leadership Secrets ofAttila the Hun, by Wess Roberts. Sold 486,000 copies. . Of course, you need some entrepreneurial hustle even if your book is published conventionally. Many a novice author has fig ured his work was done once he’d delivered the manuscript, only to have his publisher inform him (usually not in so many words), “What? You expect us to promote this?” Understandably some writers think, if I’m going to do all the work, I’m going to keep all the cash.® — CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611 , or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.coni.

page 40

SEVEN DAYS

DMWTi

december 30, 1998 & january 6, 1999 g P

vj* yYf>TlflS>

f i 'i

Classifieds • 8 6 4 .5 6 8 4 B U Y T H IS STU FF

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A D U LT

50 watt head & JCM 900 cabi net, $ 7 0 0 . John, 4 3 4 - 5 0 1 3 .

An Ordinance in relation to

TH E K EN N E L REHEARSAL SPACE: For m usicians &

APPENDIX A, ZONING # 98-04 Public Trust Land-Publicly Accessible Restrooms

bands. Monthly lock-outs w/ 24 -hr. access & storage, or hourly room w/ drum kit. On site digital recording avail. Reservations required. 6 6 0 2 8 8 0 . 3017 Williston Rd„ So. Burlington.

It is hereby Ordained by the City Council of the City of Burlington, as follows: That the code of Ordinances of the City of Burlington be and here by is amended by amending

12 -S TR IN G ACOUSTIC G U I TAR for sale. Excellent condi

Appendix A, Zoning, Sections 9 . 1 . 5- and 6 . 1.10 thereof to read as follows:

tion. $ 2 0 0 , 4 3 4 - 5 5 3 6 . MAX M IX DJ/RECORD SHOP,

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108 Church St., Burlington, looking for used DJ/music equipment, record collections and local clothing designers. Merchandise placed on con signment. 8 0 2 - 6 5 1 - 0 7 2 2 .

(a) through (f) As written. (g) Publicly Accessible Restrooms. Any structure larg er than 10 0 0 so. ft. in-sizeother than roads, parking lots, railroad tracks or recreation paths shall include publicly accessible restrooms with an appropriate exterior signs indi cating their availability. The Planning Commission mav waive this provision if it so determines that adequate pub licly accessible restrooms are available within close proximi&

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Burlington’s finest ska band seeks equally fine horn play ers. Exp. necessary, willing to travel and gig weekly a must. Serious inquires only. Dan, GREEN M O U N TA IN SAVO YARDS looking for new mem

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(f) Make advertising features understandable. The size, loca tion, design, texture, lighting, and materials of all exterior signs and advertising features shall not detract from the use and enjoyment of proposed buildings or surrounding prop erties. Signs and similar fea tures shall be appropriately sized and located in a manner which does not detract from nor disrupt the immediate visual environment. Buildings that include publicly accessi ble restrooms shall include appropriate exterior signs indi cating their availability. Material stricken out deleted. Material underlined added.

S + o K y

A lil4 U T 0

7rZ5~T~^77Z ------77777 "P frE M B E R -M A Y "

Car

C H EAPO TIR ES ON N EW CARS

Dear Tom and Ray: I have 109,000 miles on the original tires o f my 1994 Nissan truck. They are now worn out. Obviously, I would like to get another set o f the same tires to replace the originals. The owners of the local tire store told me the other day that such origi nal equipment specification Firestone tires are not avail able to the ordinary con sumer. Is this true? Buddy TOM: It very likely is true, Buddy, mostly because ordinary consumers would n't put up with the cheap tires that come as original equipment on most cars and trucks. RAY: You may have set a 109,000 out of your origi nal tires. So either you take really good care of your tires, or those tires have been so worn out for the last 30,000 miles that you've been able to see right through them and see the air inside. TOM: In most cases, man ufacturers special-order inexpensive tires for new cars. The manufacturer saves a few bucks (it adds up when you sell hundreds of thousands of cars), the tire maker gets a huge order (that keeps the facto ries running), and the con sumer recognizes a good brand name and doesn't thionk twice about it (he's more focused on the car itself). And these tires usu

^ <£> ■ C oLoNlSTS WERE RECUiREP To °L I M oVE EVERY THREE MONTHS To EXPERIENCE SEASONS.

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16-TRACK ANALOG RECORD ING S TU D IO . Dogs, Cats &

ally last 20,000 to 30,000 miles — just enough so that the consumer doesn't complain. RAY: Those tires are usual ly not available at tire stores because the tire mak ers know you'd come back and complain if you only got 20,000 miles out of tires you had to pay for yourself. So most of the tires they sell exceed the quality of original-equip ment tires. TOM : There are some exceptions. Generally speaking, the more you pay for a car, the better the chances that you'll get good tires as original equipment. Luxury cars and performance cars often come with good tires that" you can buy at retail. -"=----RAY: But most average cars come off the lot with spe cially made, cheaper-thanusual tires. So you have been blessed, Buddy. Now thank your deity of choice, and spend a few hundred^ bucks on a really good set of replacement tires7

Dear Tom and Ray: I recently did a rear brakejob on my 94 Chevy Astro van. N qw the self adjuster on the Left rear wheel over-adjusts the brake periodically and I have to get out and get under it and loosen it up. What did I do wrong? — Dave TOM: Well, stealing the used parts from your neighbor's Astro van was probably your first mis take, Dave. RAY: Actually, two possi bilities come to mind. One is that you put the springs on wrong. The other is

that you damaged one of the springs. TOM : Start by taking both rear wheels off. Since the right rear adjuster is work ing fine, carefully compare the two. You may discover that you've switched the springs on the left side, or attached a spring to the wrong hole. RAY: If you don't notice any difference between the two wheels, the next thing to do is to replace all the brake hardware on that left wheel. You can buy what's called a "combination kit" at your local auto parts store for about 20 bucks. That contains all the springs and hardware for the brake assembly. And if you stretched or damaged a spring the first time around, that wilf almost certainly fix it. TOM : And do it right away, Dave. If for any rea son you can't fix it your self, take it to a mechanic and pay him to do it. Trust us on this: Having one wheel lock up at nigh speed will not be an enjoy able experience.

Get Tom andHay's best selling pamphlet, "Ten Ways You may Be Ruining Your Car Without Even Knowing It!" You 'reprobably doing at least one o f them. Send $3 and a 55-cent SASE, No. 10, to Ruin, ROB 6420, Riverton, NJ 08077-6420. Got a question about cars? Write to Click and Clack in care o f this newspa per, or email them by visit ing the Car Talk section o f cars.com on the World Wide Web.

WEARY OF THE SAM g oLP ROUTINE, SHE THOUGHT o F AN ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLE.

SHE LlVEP THROUGH THE SEASONS IN REVERSE ORPER.

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SEVEN DAYS

page 41

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—-

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december 30,1998 & january 6,1999

SEVEN D A YS ,

pap 43

)e c . 31-Ja n . 6

A R IES

(Mar. 21-Apr. 19): An English insurance company, Zurich Municipal, did research to determine which astrological sign was most acci, ; dent-prone. You Rams were of course at the very top of the list, as well as in related categories like most likely to run a red light or to pass on the right. I believe you will thoroughly confute these data in 1999, however. Though it is true that you’ll experience peak levels o f daring and zest, I predict your adventures will unfold as if you were protected by a bubble o f safety.

TAU R U S

(Apr. 20-May 20): O ne o f my favorite teachers, William Irwin Thompson, says that one reli gion isn’t enough for him. He consid ers esoteric Christianity his “m other” faith and Buddhism his “father” faith. I take a similar approach. My spiritu ality is a hybrid o f Christian Qabala, Goddess-worshiping paganism, and funky tantric Jungian alchemy. W hat’s all this got to do with you? Well, 1999 will be prime time for you to aggressively design a spiritual practice that suits your special needs. I feel you can no longer afford a halfbaked relationship with the Divine Wow. So steal from any tradition that catches your fancy, build upon dream revelations and twilight visions (there’ll be an abundance o f them), and make this the year you become your own priest or priestess.

GEM INI

(May 21-June 20): The new prime minister o f Albania, Pandell Majko, is just 30 years old. I haven’t been able to find out for sure, but I bet he’s a Gemini. Younger members of your tribe climbed to the top' o f their respective heaps at a record rate in 1998, and many older Twins also rose in the ranks whenever they pushed fresh, youthful ideas. I expect this trend to expand in 1999. Your opportunities to seize more power will grow as you cultivate what the Zen Buddhists call beginner’s mind. “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities,” says Shunryu Suzuki-roshi in his book, Zen Mind,

__ b

..... n p

Beginners Mind, “but in the experts

C ANC ER

(June 21-July 22): I’m going to give your tribe a mysti cal name in 1999. It’s Vajra, which is a Sanskrit word meaning both “thun derbolt” and “diam ond,” and a per fect term to symbolize the primal yet beautiful power you’ll have abundant access to in the coming months. As you meditate on how you can live up to your new alias, remember that the diamond is not only a highly prized gem that represents steadfast love, but is also used widely as a tool in the metalworking industry due to the fact that it’s the hardest naturally occur ring substance in the world. Now get yourself to a mirror, gaze into your ancient eyes, and murmur, “Hello, Vajra.”

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): Nineteenninety-nine could very well be the year one of you Leos shatters the world’s record for consecutive hours riding a roller coaster. (Currently it’s 1000.) I say this because I think you’ll all be both adept and comfort able in activities which require you to negotiate sudden dips and steep rises with great speed. And that’s not the only stellar talent you’re likely to wield in the months ahead. You could also go down in history in categories like Fastest Talker, Most Changes of Mind, Biggest Leaps of Faith and Greatest Number of Contradictions Embraced.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In any normal year, you go through sev eral rutting seasons, when you’re pos sessed by a delightful if compulsive carnality. But 1999 won’t be normal. I have reason to believe you’ll be struck crazy with lust at least twice as often as usual. Sex won’t be a luxury at these times, but a necessity on the

» u

_ _

—

there are few.”

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same order as eating and breathing and sleeping. Better start preparing now, before the first tidal wave hits: Decide what your ground rules will be. Will you get naked with every passerby who makes a seductive offer? Are you really willing to override your intuition in order to indulge your instinct? Do you promise to stay aware of the difference between the primal but impersonal bond that’s fueled by raw sex and the supple inti macy that’s crafted by tender intelli gence?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): W hat a weirdly trium phant year 1999 will be fpr your tribe! Here are my predictions. Libran cartoon char acter Homer Simpson will enjoy a gay fling with Leonardo DiCaprio. Libran Ralph Lauren will stage an advertising coup when he coaxes Libran Chief Justice William Rehnquist to pose with Libran Gwyneth Paltrow in a darkly erotic magazine spread. A Taliban mullah born under the sign of Libra will receive political asylum in the U.S. and go on to replace Ken Starr as Independent Counsel for the last six years of the Whitewater probe. And then there’s you: You, my oddly flour ishing friend, will discover absolutely everything about what you don’t want to be, making it perfectly clear, as you enter the new millennium, exactly what you do want to be!

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I was talking astrology with my daughter and her friend Savannah. W hen Savannah found out Zoe was a bull, she wanted to know what her own animal was. I asked her her birthday and she said November 7. “You have two different animals,” I said. “The scorpion and the eagle. Which would you rather be?” “If I was a scorpion,” she mused, “I could

—------------------- ---- -r~~; sting my older sister when she’s mean to me. But if I was an eagle I could go to the bathroom on her as I flew overhead. I’ll be an eagle.” I think this is an enlightened approach that might be useful for all you Scorpios to borrow. O ne way or another, you’ll need secret weapons in 1999. But why resort to a form of deterrence that keeps you groveling in the dirt when you can be equally effective while remaining high above the fray?

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Rudolph Spielman once described the ideal strategy of a great chess player. “In the opening a master should play like a book,” he said, “in the mid-game he should play like a magician, in the ending he should play like a machine.” I bring this up, Sagittarius, because this is a perfect formula for you to use in all games, both fun and serious, that you’ll play in 1999.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): “O ur bloods and hormones are fundamentally seawater and vol canic ash, congealed and refined,” writes Richard Grossinger in Planet Medicine. “O ur skin shares its chem istry with the maple leaf and moth wing. The currents our bodies regu late share a molecular flow with raw sun. Nerves and flashes of lightning are related events woven into nature at different levels.” I nominate this primordial affirmation to be the pas sage you clip and tape to your bath room mirror for all of 1999. It hints at the teachings life most wants to give you; it’s a poetic koan that just might help rouse the ancient wildness that’s aching to be reborn within you.

ew Age propensities will nounce her intention to try jum p through rainbows all aver N orth America. 2) An Aquarian porn star from Holland will have himself nailed to a cross to promote his new sadomasochistic film. 3) An Aquarian per--: formance artist will tie baguettes to his head and wander through ritzy shopping areas in Los Angeles, invit ing well-heeled consumers to eat his art. 4) The vast majority of other Aquarians across the"world will expe rience similar surges of idiosyncratic brilliance, but will express them in less spectacular and more practical ways.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-Mar. 20): I’ve taken a bit of liberty with a quote by C.G. Jung to come up with an epigram to guide you in 1999. “If there is anything we wish to change in the child,” he said, “we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.” I would amend Jung’s words to begin with the phrase, “If there is anything we wish to change in anyone we love." You will often be tempted in the coming year, Pisces, to imagine that everything would be just fabulous if the impor tant people in your life would adjust their behavior. While that’ll be true now and then, it’ll mostly be a dead end mirage. My advice: Expand your tolerance for everyone’s idiosyncracies and use them to motivate your own transformations. ® You can call Rob Brezsny, day or night for your

expanded wee My horoscope 1- 9 0 0 -9 0 3 -2 5 0 0 $1.99 p e r minute. 18 and over.

A Q U AR IU S

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Predictions for 1999: 1) Taking a page from the book of the stormchasers, an Aquarian skydiver with

Touchtone phone.

C/a 813/373-9785 And don’t fo rg e t to check out Hob’a Web a/te a t ururwv.realaatrology.com / Updated Tueaday night.

rossword ACROSS 1 Kitchen appliances 7 Goatish gamboler 11 Merry month 14 Jeremy's partner 18 Tristan’s tootsie 19 — Park, Colo. 21 Mr. Lucky’s card 22 W ahine's wiggle 23 Leg strengthening desserts? 26 Give oft 27 Disconsolate 28 Buck's beloved 29 Melodious Murray 3Q With 78 Down, Batman's alter ego 31 Kid at court 3 3 No-nonsense city-state 36 Originate 37 “Cavalleria Rusticana" setting 4 0 Lowest point 41 Sale stipulation 4 2 Sweatshirt size 43 FigureImproving

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"Hawaii

8 Shade of Five-O" blond 97 Broadcast 9 Colorado in July native 98 Crown 10 Volleyball 99 Pool person divider 101 Saluki or 1 1 — cum laude schipperke 12 Need a 102 Bank (on) rubdown 103 Revealed 13 “By all 104 Film — means!" 105 Lout 14 ’66 Associa 106 You can tion smash Jotiot-C urie retire on it 15 Soil stuff 6 4 Nice err 109 it the 16 Writer W alker Newark truth?” 17 See socially 65 Use a 110 Digestion20 Zhivago’s toboggan aiding portrayer 66 Mindspread? 24 Salty spread expanding 116 Apparatus 25 Foreword pastry? 117 Latin I word 30 Cheese72 Merchandise 118 Passe board choice 73 Com e in partout's 31 Sty guy second profession 32 Evelyn’s 74 “Rawhide" 119 King or brother rope Lombard 33 Nasty 75 Rotund 12 0 — breve 34 Dad 76 Junior’s job 121 Neithe^s 35 They may be 78 Take a hike partner personal 79 Bush’s alm a 122 Change the 36 Tennis mater decor legend 83 Potok’s “My 123 Defrosted 37 Concrete N am e Is DOW N base Asher — " 1 Moves like 38 Othello's 84 Tankard filler mad inducer 85 Most despi 2 C am bodia’s 39 He won't cable continent speak 87 Boxer Baer 3 Have to have without 88 Vision4 Astronaut caws enhancing Gnssom 41 Part of D A. side dish? 5 W ee one 43 Duplicate 94 Japanese dog 6 Old-fashioned 44 Veronica of 96 Jack of 7 Holiday “Hill Street

VEN DAYS

B lu e s " 85 Comic Orson Math abbr. 86 Whippet's Perfect wagger Prize money 89 Strauss opus Faxed 90 Unit of Opinion page loudness Daddy dogs 91 Fall behind More 92 Shake malevolent spearean 58 Harper's monarch Bazaar 93 “— tu” designer (Verdi ana) 59 Ultimate 95 Kyser or 60 James StanHerriot, for 98 Flaw one 99 Sales pitch 61 At present 100 Like some 63 Trick music 64 Third-rate 101 Word with 66 Cavalry guard or weapon scheme 67 Roman 102 Team fountain scream 68 Mr. Ziegfeld 103 It's a long 69 Work on a story crossword? 104 James 70 Frasier’s Mason role brother 105 Conductor 71 Thousand — , Klemperer Calif. 106 Explode 72 Devour, with 107 She, to Satie “down" 108 Chased 76 Clay clump away gray 7 7 “And I 110 Actress Love — " Hooks ('64 song) 111 Remote 78 See 30 1 1 2 “— Butter Across milk Sky" 80 Surrounded (’46 song) by 113 Crimson 81 Tardy 114 Humbug 82 Final lead-in 84 Curly coif 115 Tim e period 45 46 47 48 51 55 57

december 30, 1998 & january 6, 1999 VvT*

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healthy, non-abusive relationship may advertise in PERSON TO PERSON. Ad suggestions: age range, interests,

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personal abbreviations

A = Asian, B = Black, Bi = Bisexual, C = Christian, CU = Couple, D = Divorced, F = Female, G = Gay, H = Hispanic, ISO = In Search Of, J = Jewish, LTR = Long-Term Relationship, M = Male, Ma = Married, ND = No , Drugs, NS = Non-Smoking, NA = No Alcohol, P = Professional, ? fe'S = Single, W = White, Wi = Widowed, YO = Years Old

C all

1 -9 0 0 -3 7 0 -7 1 2 7 $1.99 a minute, must be 18 or older.

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1 - 800- 710-8727 to charge directly to your credit card

Open 24 hours!

WEEKENDS TOGETHER. SWF, ATHLETIC, slender. Enjoys fishing,

xm ten A sckinq m m

|v PF, 40S, ISO WITTY, INTELLIGENT,

e-spirited male. Must be stable— |iotionally & financially. Facial hair a My fantasy man: a cross between j tan and Santa Claus! 2 4 6 5 ________ ' I ANUKAH SWEETIE. DJF, 37, 5*10”, lig blonde hair, blue eyes. Am told I |)k like a Guess? model. Seeking »/5JM, over 6’ and under 40. Happy hbnukah! 2444_____________________ IVE, 45 , PROGRESSIVE PROFESNAL seeking playful, progressive,

ncially stable man in his 40s, with urious nature. Dad’s a +, 2446 IRITED, FUN-LOVING SWPF, 40ISH, hpely, seeking attractive, honest, NS, 0 enjoys travel, dancing, romance, mats, moriogomy, ocean getaways, I ghter, friendship, possibly LTR. 2447 DF, SEASONED NICELY, TENDER & igh. Reading everything everything )ut Taoism, feng shui, alternative dicine and healthy living. The ods, XC skiing, snowshoeing, my , wild flowers, quilts, fires. 2457

[

JWN-TO-EARTH F, 49, NS, interested 11neeting a genuinely nice man in his I to early 50s for a good relation2460

37, creative, adventurous, travel-loving, intelligent, passionate, searching for star mate. Awaiting your subspace communication. Any Romulans out there? 2364._________ ________ ______ ME:

34, TALL, DARK, FRECKLES, KID-

loving, red Play-Doh, great legs, soft but tough Gemini. You: older than 34, Frenchman, nice arms, good heart, cra zier than me, graying, coffee drinker, vulnerable, kid-loving Taurus. 2381 LOVER OF BEAUTY, SEEKER OF TRUTH.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE FASTER THAN

intelligent, holistic, athletic, adventur ous professional ISO her match: within 8 yrs. of 35, well-educated, healthy, handsome. Enjoys nature & outdoor activities & knows how to love! 2419

a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, or even tall, dark, or handsome. But if you are able to hike, willing to XC, like to travel, smart, witty and kind, that would be super. ISO SM, 30-50. And if it doesn’t work out with us, I have friends. 2376______

DWPF, NS, ACTIVE, ATTRACTIVE, artist/

farmer/educator; lover of fading laven der mnts. over water, all that grows green, has hooves, paws, feathers, isn’t made anymore, but still works, is graceful, resonant and natural. ISO kind, warm, wise, musical, communica tive, handy, educated, art appreciator. NMH, RISD, ASP, NEA. 2427__________ VERY FUNNY SWF,

33 , NS, ND, DOG

owner ISO SM, 26+, for friendship in Burl. area. Join me in enjoying movies, dining, dancing, talking, ’80s music, Star Trek, darts, billiards & bowling.

242Z________________________ MY TAROT READING SAYS: I’m going to

meet a tall, dark-haired man around 40. So where are you, already? Spiritually alternative F, 6’i ”, blue eyes, dark hair, seeks LTR, NS/ND. I live near Plainfield, VT. 2401___________________ ROCK-N-ROLLER. ATTRACTIVE SWF, 37, high energy, independent, honest, fun. ISO SWM, 35-45, that’s courageous, respectful, well-read & well-dressed for conversation, dinner & dancing. Smokers OK. 2406___________________

INTERESTED, INTERESTING WOMAN

seeking gorgeous (to me) genius (who is crazy about me) for dancing/adventure. I’m 46, a little silly, a little pretty. Hoping to fall madly in love. 2378 MY TRUCK RTS

2 KAYAKS, JACKETS,

dry gear, tarps, tents, skis, ropes and harnesses, bikes, blades & packs. And there’s still room for you. Come on! Let’s explore! SF, 39, vegetarian. 2379 SWPF, NS, ISO SOUL MATE. Attractive,

healthy, professional; has passion for work and play; enjoys plays, films, music, concerts, VT’s seasons, excellent food, aromatic coffee and a great read!! ISO Mlife partner, 4o-5oish. 2380 FUN, ENERGETIC, OUTGOING SWF,

32 ,

seeking SM, 28-40. I enjoy many differ ent forms of live music, art, quiet con versations, laughing and exercise. Must be independent, optimistic, available during the week, and flexible on the weekend, but not mandatory. 2384 SWPF, NS, CTRL. VT,

46, ENERGETIC,

outgoing, musical, positive outlook. Likes movies, reading, concerts, danc ing, walking, eating out. ISO ethical, outgoing, NS who believes life is not a dress rehearsal. 2324________________

WANTED: ONE TALL M WANTING TO leam/practice the Argentine Tango. A great dance; I want a partner. I’m 45, 5’9”. Don’t read between the lines, ___ there’s nothing there. 2412

VOLUPTUOUS, BROWN HAIR, BROWNeyed SWPF, 31, NS, who enjoys music, hockey, movies, books, theatre, travel. ISO SWPM, NS, 28-40, for friendship, possible LTR, evenings out & lots of laughter. 2325 ____________

IS IT POSSIBLE TO ENJOY ANOTHER’S company, see the non-duality of existance, and not become co-dependent? 30s woman wants man who can laugh, cry, cook, contemplate and who loves his life. 2357

SEEKING HOPELESS ROMANTIC SWPF, NS, 5’8”, 24, blonde, blue-eyed. ISO a spark w/ a hard-working, honest SM, 22-35, who enjoys dancing, biking, movies, hockey games & romantic evenings alone. 2326___________

PHONE BLOCKED FROM DIALING 9 0 0 MUNBERS? R e sp o n d T o P e r so n a l s sing Y o u r C r e d it C a r d !

44.

Love learning about life, spirituality. ISO warm, positive, thoughtful man, 40-52, to share thoughts, music, read ing, movies, walking, dancing, silliness, hugs, friendship, maybe more. 2315

FUN, PASSIONATE & PRETTY. Loving,

LTR. Must be honest, hard-working and know how to treat a lady. Enjoy camp ing, fishing, comedy, karaoke and romantic times. 2424_________________

a m in u te , m u s t b e 1 8 o r o ld e r .

GENTLE, WARM, ATTRACTIVE SWF,

Intelligent, compassionate, intuitive, powerful, independent DWPF ISO multi farious, heart-centered, authentic part ner. Embraces laughter, meaningful conversations, intimate silences. Earth, sky, water are my playgrounds. 2368

43 , LOOKING FOR A SWM FOR

m e * § m m m m 4 m # • • •

•

$ 1 .9 9

30s, who enjoys skiing, travel, dining, workout & much more, ISO attractive, fit, secure WM, NS, 30-45, who enjoys same for possible relationship. 2365

hiking, skiing, relaxing. Has: good job, weekends free, 4x4 & satellite. Desires: SWM, 5’io ”+, 37-47, common pursuits, kids OK^feasible LTR. Stowe area. 2463__________________________

SWF,

hours a day!

ATTRACTIVE PROFESSIONAL WF, NS,

HAILING FREQUENCIES ARE OPEN: DWF,

* V*vyfr <

it to edit or reject any advertisement. Personal ads may be submitte for publication only by, and seeking, persons over 18 years of age.

|mm| |

MIDWESTERN ROOTS. DWPF, 43, NS, who loves life, skiing, footbalf, nights on the town, candlelight dinners, danc ing. ISO honest, fun-loving WM for romance, adventure & fun. 2327______ WHAT A LONG, STRANGE TRIP ITS BEEN. Rubenesque DWF, 26, ISO SM to journey with. Must value individuality, be family-oriented. Enjoy travel, nature, mysticism & romance. 2344___________ KIDS GROWN, ON MY OWN. PETITE, funny. Have money. Handsome man could make my day. Adventurous, loves to play. Must be neat, must be clean. Don’t smoke or drink, and don’t be mean. Love to cuddle, love to touch. Hope I’m not asking too much, 2350 WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU?

Enthused, passionate, intelligent, spiri tual, dog-loving DWF, 37, geographer, ISO centered M to share life’s journey. Send me the map to your heart. 2322 DWF LOOKING FOR WILD, MELLOW,

►

love , c jo u m e w )

RTNESS-FREE FEMALE: mature, cre

ative, into squirrels & vendettas. ISO kind-hearted, fun-loving companion w/ good portfolio who’s willing to work out the details later. 2320____________

37 , 5 ’3 ” , slen der, attractive & passionate. Loves ski ing, honesty, good conversation & inti macy. I would like to meet a non smoking, intelligent M who is financial ly secure, 35-47, and has a positive, confident approach to life. 2249______ THE PASSION IN WHICH JULIET lives is so potentially infectious. DWPF, 28, attractive, slender, funny, ISO D/SWPM, 28-35, attractive, ambitious, outgoing, jeans/baseball caps, for fun, LTR? 2265

ADVENTUROUS DPWF,

DWCF,

37 , NS, ND, WRITER SEARCHING

for kindred spirit who enjoys the quiet & simple pleasures of life, hiking, movies, science fiction, cuddling and is emotionally & financially secure. 2272 SLIM BLONDE, BLUE-EYED MID-LIFE-

mama w/ children gone, who refuses to grow old, is searching for that special, lovable PWM to share interests such as skiing & travel, who can be serious, too. Must still believe in love. Let’s take a chance! 2277_________________ FUN IS WHAT I LIKE TO HAVE. SWF,

30,

loves the outdoors, dogs (I have 2), traveling, swing and looking for SWM who enjoys life. Friends first. 2279 SWF,

44, 5’8”, ATTRACTIVE, NO KIDS,

atheist, loves dogs, extremely cynical, salving conscience through activist environmentalism, seeking peace/country life with gentle, honest mate. You are probably tall, preferrably no kids, 35-53. thinker but work with your hands, not a veggie, principled, extremely liberal, patient. 2280________ FAIR MAIDEN ISO SHINING KNIGHT!

He’s tall, handsome, financially secure, honest, romantic, chivalrous, sincere. She’s a very attractive, red-headed wonder; loves 4x4s, children, garden ing, .dancing, classic cars, cooking, football, thigh-highs, NASCAR. Sir Lancelot, please reply; Jeff Gordan fans be cautious to try! 2281______________ LETS CREATE A FRIENDSHIP. SWF,

31 ,

5’i ”, quiet, pleasant, ISO SWM, 30-37, who balances with me and to share experiences. I enjoy movies, travel, working out and shopping. 2245______ I’M THE EXCEPTIONAL WOMAN YOU'VE always wanted to meet! Classy & sexy, warm & witty, sensitive & beautiful, I love cooking, theatre, kids, animals, kayaking & silk lingerie. ISO very exceptional man, 35-45, tall & very handsome, successful & soulful, light hearted & fun, romantic 8t smiling, • kind-hearted & affectionate. 2247 SWPF, 38 , 5 ’8 ”, NS, VEGETARIAN, liber^ al thinker, friend of animals. I like British comedy, hiking, canoeing, danc ing, art, antiques, museums and being involved in my community. I’m ISO a single male, 3oish-4oish, with similar attitudes and interests for friendship or possible LTR. 2243

Mtsdwiq wom an NEW TO AREA AND LOOKING! SWM, 27, 6’, active, fun. Enjoys activities outside and inside, hiking, swimming, biking. ISO SF, 18-38, who is active and enjoys life. 2464______ _____________________ SM, 33, EASY-GOING, SMART, hand some, shy, busy, lonely, seeks friend(s) first! Pleasant surprises await... 2468 22 , 6’ 2 ”, LEAN, TALL, CULTURED, stu dent, artist, entrepreneur, adventurer seeks curvacious Queen bent on mys tery and wonderment. 2445

practical, passionate, tall DWPM, 4045—type guy to share life’s stuff. 2305 TWO CRAZY GEMINI GIRLS LOOKING for

Dear Lola, I’ll g e t right to the point: I am worried about my sexual appetite, everything’s ^ine when I’m home, I’m loyal to my husband and my eyes never stray. But I travel f r e q u e n t ly f o r m y job, and on the train or plane, I f in d myselt wildly attracted to a strange man, every single time. I basically spend the whole trip fjantasizing about all the crazy, risky ways I could have sex with him. What gives? Should I tell my husband? Randy in Randolph Dear Randy, I should w o rr y , I should care, I should imagine screwing a mil lionaire. Standing on my head in a hammock. On stage at the Barre Opera House. Sorry, but I don’t really see the problem here. Sounds like you’ve got a healthy libido and an i m a g i n a tio n to match it. Unless these meetings o f the mind start interfering with your work day, why worry? And if i t never goes $arther than y o u r head, why tell?

playmates. Must be tall, dark (or blond) and handsome, 35-45. No cow ards, please! 2306

t o

Phone b lock ed from d ia lin g 9 0 0 n u m b ers? Don't w ant a c h a r g e on y o u r p h on e b ill?

R espond T o P erso n als U sing Y our C r e d it Ca r d !

Call 1-800-710-8727 $1.99/min. must be 18+ “’■■TT..

december 3 0 ,19 9 8 & January fi, 19 9 9 . m

*<S9S& . -V-

SEVEN BAYS,

page 45 Vo. *•0 c>

■

to respond to a personal ad call 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7

♦ # ♦ « • # # # ♦ ♦ # # # # # # ♦ # ♦ # # %

W e ’re open

w om en, c o n i

ASIAN WOMEN, WOULD LIKE MEET you.

Tiny small person, long hair? Status unimportant, under 40. Friendship/travel, lots more! I’ll be the best friend you ever had! 2459______________________ THUNDER, SUNSHINE, SNOW STORMS,

warm beaches, wood fires, candle light nights, nature, music, dancing, commu nication, positive, 33, attractive, wait ing for you. Care to join me? 2414 HEY, I THINK I'M A FUNNY, THOUGHT FUL, attractive guy, and I know I need

a funny, sharp, attractive lady, 32-43, to share with. Let me tell you more. Okay? 2420 SWM,

38 , 5’n " , 170 LBS., CARPENTER.

hours a day!

movies, sports, cross-dressing, ISO SF who’s dominant, kinky, witty, who wears garter belts, sexy stockings, leather for intimate encounters. Be clean. Will answer all. 2436__________

41, NS, ND, ATTRACTIVE, organic gardener, loves dogs, home, rural life, intimacy. ISO natural beauty, 30-35, fearless, strong, loving, happy, to share my home, mother earth spirituality. LTR. 2374___________________________

SINCERE, SECURE, PHYSICALLY FIT,

COME HITHER. SPEAK WITH TRUTH AND

younger-looking-than-52. Man with grown children seeking attractive, healthy and loving 4oish woman to share love and respect for natural world, travel, adventure and fun for the long run. 2438________________

tenderness. Be of fit body and mind. Value education, health and serenity. Cradle the heart of this gentle, unique, gracious SWM, 43, NS, ND, NA. 2383

SWM,

m s .k in g

21 , ATTRACTIVE, WITTY, LIKES

ISO XC SKI FRIEND. Active, attractive, 47, 6’i ”, NS, kids, ISO ski friend. Also enjoy dancing, yoga, music, cooking. LTR possible, but fun first. No baggage on this trip, please. 2439_____________ ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, MUSICAL,

athletic, sober SWM, 32, seeks similar qualities in SWF, 25-30. 2393 ______

SWM,

adore forevermore. Nice guy: gentle, sincere, smiling, keeper of many furry creatures, open-minded, handsome, romantic Wi, 50, s ’8”. Used, not abused. 2415_______________________

eyes, 155 lbs., seeking older F, 35-55, for discreet encounters. Will travel. Discretion a must. 2403_____________

girls. Self-employed in VT music ind.

NOTHING TO HIDE. DWM, 38, 6’, 175

loves his kids, slow dances, the Bruins, bad movies, pint of Guinness and a smoke, the Stones, spooning and laughing. How about you? 2347_______

fine mama. Very young 50s, artsy, litsy, moderately outdoorsy, politically incor rect. ISO kind, intelligent, attractive woman for friendship and romance. 2417 SCIENCE AND MUSIC ARE TWO LOVES

of my life. Looking for a third. Affectionate, prof., honest, agnostic M, 49, seeks tall, thoughtful lady, NS, to enjoy outdoors and country living. _________________________ 2422 SINCERE, GOOD-NATURED CHRISTIAN M

seeks F companionship on the journey. Love to laugh, learn, love. 2423_______ ATTRACTIVE SWM,

32 , SEEKS SF FOR

friendship first w/ possibility of short term or LTR. Enjoy dining out, dancing, taking walks, movies, shows, skiing and, other outdoor activities. 2425 LOVE IS A GOOD THING. DWM, 5’9”, 145 lbs., somewhat professional, youthful, interesting. Likes adventures, skiing, hiking, camping, laughing, music, travel, Burlington night life. Seeking fun-loving companion. 2429

3 WAY-COOL ATTRACTIVE GUYS FROM The Outdoor Gear Exchange are look ing for outdoorsy, fun, quirky dates for the company X-Mas party, 12/20. No commitments, just fun, food, and margaritas. Stop by the store and ask for Roger, Chief or Nupp. 2443___________

lbs., good-looking, quiet, smoker; can repair almost anything. Looking for one-man woman for LTR. What you see is what you get. 2405 NEW-WORLD MAN. SWPM, 31, NS/ND,

very fit, adventurous, good-looking, into music, art, photography and going out, seeks SWF, 24-35, NS, for fun & possible LTR. 2409___________________ GIGGLES, PLAY & A SPIRITUAL LIFE.

Sparkles & shiny colors at craft fair & the Met. Moussaka, pasta bolognese, massages, Bach with candle-lit bath. Mozart festival picnics, mtn., lake, sun sets & walks in the woods. Seeks SWPF. Unity reader a +. 2410_________

40ISH SM, 5 ’8", FIT, EDUCATED, com municative, no dependents. Openminded realist, sense of humor, seeks special woman for monogamous holiday romance, and maybe more. 2356 SWPM, 31 , NS, SELF-EMPLOYED, col lege grad., laid back personality, slight disability; enjoys movies, theater, ski ing, walking & dancing. Seeks SF with open heart, easy laugh and sense of adventure. 2366______________ REAL

21 ST CENTURY MAN...NOT A 20TH

century imitation. Resilient, resolute, spiritual DWM, 41, Ctrl. VT, seeks intel ligent and diverse, NS/NA, PC vixen to reformat life with. 2370_____________ COURAGEOUS & FREE, EMERGING spir

5’7”, 145 lbs., light brown hair & eyes, and fit. Into snowboarding, cars, music and adventure. You: good-looking, open-hearted and playful. 2431_______

it. Think and feel deeply. SWM, 25, 5’7”, flexible, loveable, good-looking, intelligent, kind listener. Seeks friend ship, romance, fun. Likes lots of stuff. You are intelligent, kind, wise, fun, attractive, fit, 20-30. 2371____________

ROAD LESS TRAVELED. Caring man

THE MAN YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED. I’m

seeks special woman. I love drawing, jazz, writing, poetry, photography, hik ing, running, children, nature, quiet times and being with someone special. NS, 5*9*’, 160 lbs. 2432_______________

sensitive, but strong, real romantic, handsome, fit, energetic. Would do anything for that special F. 38, 5’n ”, brown hair, blue eyes, love movies, dining out, traveling, long walks, silk lingerie. ISO SWF, NS, 35-40, childless, fun, romantic, affectionate, sexy. 2382

SWM ISO DARK-HAIRED LADY. I’m 25,

GENTLE MAN,

50S, GOOD-LOOKING,

very solvent, amiably divorced, seeking intelligent lady who appreciates thoughtfulness, nice lifestyle. Let’s share interests. Goal: a committed rela tionship. 2435

DykeS T°Watch

SWM,

31 , NS/NA/ND, 6', BLUE EYES,

brown hair, ex-Marine, fit—physically, mentally & spiritually. ISO SWF, 25-35, NS, NA, ND, loves nature 81 self. 2372

•MEN SEEKING WOMEN

THUNDER, SUN SHINE, SNOW STORM S,

lbs., 6’2”, NS, social drinker. Enjoys nature, outdoor activities, dancing. Looking for a woman who can show me what this town has- to offer. 2328 38 YO TEENAGER. DWM, SMOKER, light drinker, likes all kinds of music—from alternative to Grateful Dead —ISO F ver sion of same. Skiing, fishing, outdoors, music, movies, etc. Let’s do it. 2332

ISO LOVELY LADY TO CHERISH AND

INTELLECTUAL REDNECK SEEKS TRUE,

pCAAonal o.

NEW TO BURLINGTON. SWM, 34, 180

ARE YOU OVER 40, WITTY, INTELLI GENT, affectionate and—yes—attrac

20, DIRTY-BLONDE HAIR, BLUE

*«J

SWM,

Interests: hiking, canoeing, snowshoeing, back-country skiing, homesteading. ISO pioneer woman interested in homesteading, family on 25 acres, simple, self-reliant life. 2421

tive? Are you willing to risk an emo tional involvement? If yes, perhaps we should talk. 2400___________________

Wm m m m m # • • • #

$ 1.99 a m i n u t e , m u s t b e 18 o r o lder.

warm beaches, wood fires, candle light nights, nature, music, dancing, communica tion, positive, 3 3 , attractive, waiting for you. Care to join me?

HI, I’M AN UPBEAT SINGLE FATHER W /

one daughter. I’m a musician, inventor, hiker, photographer, blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda. Let’s chat. 2334 M, 37 , HONEST, DIVORCED, OCCASION AL smoker & drinker, kids: 2 teenage

I AM ALIVE! SWM,

36 , HEALTHY, FIT &

42 , SOME BRAINS, KINDA CUTE—

cleans up well—seeks friendship & intimacy in a LTR filled with silly laughter & sweet love. 2352_______________ SEPARATED WM LOOKING TO BE some

one’s special toy to play w/, enjoy life with and to sleep with. I’m in my 40s, good shape, have a job, but needs a place to live & be your personal slave to that special person. 2353__________

36 , health care prof, w/ European sensibilities 81 North American enthusiasm. Very ath letic, well-traveled. Loves inc.: music/ dance, get-a-ways to the woods & urban scene. Prefer 26-36, slightly cyni cal, possessing a good belly laugh. 2284_______________________________ VIBRANT, INTELLIGENT WM,

SINCERE, HONEST, ROMANTIC SWM,

42, 5’9”, brown hair, blue eyes, look ing for SWF to share meaningful times. Must be honest and like to travel. Let’s cash in on life together. 2285_________ OPTIMISTIC, CHEERFUL, 43 YRS. YOUNG, educated (sometimes silly)

WPM, ISO PF, 30-43, happy, employed, objective, physically fit and craving adventure/travel to uncharted destina tions. Romance/LTR. 2286 STIMULATE MY BRAIN. MAKE ME LAUGH. A massage would be nice, too.

SWM, 31, witty, athletic, articulate, seeks humorous, active, attractive WF, 25-32. Will reciprocate on massage. Perhaps. 2301 ____________________ LIFE’S SIMPLE PLEASURES CAN BE

shared with this DWM, 32, 5’io ”, 165 lbs., average looks. Honest, hard-work ing outdoorsman. Likes country music, gardening, hunting, running, sunrise, quiet evenings 8i good company. 2288 STRONG

81 SILENT, EDUCATED, VERY

busy, 6’, active, health club, mountain/ road bikes, skiing, outdoor activities, health-minded, movies, dancing, din ning out. Looking for best friend. 2295

by-Alison Bechd*l

1110 Shelburne Rd., So. Burlington 651-8774

Winner also receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day H iker’s Guide to VT from

• T n c O u td o o r G o a r C x c h a n t^ -

38,

clean. 5’5”, 145 lbs., NS, likes to travel & hopes to meet SF, 26-40, NS, who enjoys life & stays active/healthy. 2348 SM,

Ribs • Rotisserle Chicken & Morel 4 p.m. — 10 p.m.

2 4 1 4

2341_____________ NON-PC, BOSTON-IRISH GENT,

Personal of the Week wins dinner for two at

used-* closeout • new 19 1 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE. Attrac

SMART, HEP, FUNNY, CUTE, GEMINI,

tive, honest, sensitive, reliable DWM, 48, who likes to work out, ski, dance, ISO smart, sweet, caring, healthy, fun, romantic S/DF, 35-48. 2296___________

native of NYC, been at school in VT fo| four years now. Seek funny, cool girt who likes fun and adventure. 2268

42 YO,

s’9”, 216

LBS., ENJOYS DINING

out, movies, dancing, day trips, cud dling, quiet times. ISO F w/ similar interests for friendship, possible romantic LTR. Holidays’re coming! 2323 HANDSOME, TALL WM,

40, SEEKS

attractive woman w/ a nice, big bottom 81 pleasant but passionate nature. Likes reading, conversation, passion & quiet times, too. Age, race unimportant. No obese, please. 2297__________ WHO’S OUT THERE?! Attractive, fit

ADVENTUROUS, FIT, OUTDOORSY DWfl

4oish, enjoys biking, hiking, canoeing] XC, etc. ISO attractive, fit, petite F w/ similar interests to enjoy outdoors, nature 8t hopefully more. 2260

1963 MODEL: WELL-MAINTAINED PROFj equipped w/ independent suspension,] overdrive, ABS (attractive, bright, sens tive), boots (ski 8t hiking), tent, dubs] canoe, and other options. Has garage] space for sleek, SWPF with great lines classic good looks, and desire to seel where the road goes from here. 22781

SWPM, 24, seeks attractive, fit, intelli gent female for sweaty activities. Looking for someone a little different and is comfortable w/ her body. 2302

SWM, 26 , 6’i" , 200 LBS., SEEKS attra tive F or BiF, 18-45, for fun and gaim Discretion 81 maturity ensured. 2264

WARM-HEARTED, INTELLECTUAL out

equal partner for fun 81 sharing life’s good and bad times. Optimistic, conf dent and adventurous. You be the same. All replies answered. 2270

doorsman, 42, DWPM w/ children, seeking serious, sensible, petite, pretty partner for hiking, back-country skiing &. other adventures. Ctrl. VT. 2311 SWM,

22 , 170 LBS. ISO LTR W / attrac

tive F who likes to cheat. I’m a deancut car guy. I make my F happy. 2319 INTELIGENT, AFFECTIONATE, GOOD-

looking, liberal, NS, passionate music lover. Enjoy outdoors, cooking, conver sation. Young 46, fit, not athletic. Seek smart, attractive, affectionate F in northeastern VT. I’m near St. J. 2317

CTRL. VT DWM,

44, SLIM, SEEKING

THE COMING MONTH & YEAR DO NOT

exist. Ours only is the present’s tiny point. Romantic, NS, ND, 39, hand some, blue eyes, 6’, ISO pretty, sexy, smart, fun woman to share. 2271 TALL, ATHLETIC, FIT, ATTRACTIVE,

a ffe

50S, SEEKING NS F VEGETARIAN

tionate, progressive, well-educated, divorced, PS dad, 51, likes conversa tion, ethnic food, films, tennis, hiking| skiing. ISO intelligent, active F for friendship/LTR. 2276

swinger...big band, that is. Some notes are blue; the mall buildings are, too. Read the clue, & I will meet you. 2321

m n Aockbiq w om en

MY FRIEND-LOVER FANTASY: Radiant,

zestful, soulful, healthful, fit, athletic playmate. Intelligent, articulate, imagi native learner. Empathetic, giving, sen sual, loving, unguarded, centered, pow erful, independent yearner. Ready for me. 35+. 2252_______________________ LIFE IS SHORT. A little bit shy, divorced

for three years, 81 ready to start explor ing new adventures. I enjoy many out door activities, dining out or in, and good conversation. 2259

HOPELESSLY ROMANTIC SWF, 28, IS(j SF, 25-32; very outgoing, enjoys mov-I ies, dancing, dining, romantic eveningT w/ a great sense of humor. 2407 TEACH THIS FUNNY, CHUBBY, UVM

YO smoker how to treat you right. While instructing me on the fine poiij of love, we can take field trips and explore our other passions. 2411

.*2rvrrr-'

to respond to a personal ad call 1 - 0 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 W e're open GWM,

Jiaalm q wom m ,

(ff,

30, FAMILY IN THE RUTLAND area,

it often. Would like to make friends hang out with. Interests: movies, lopping, darts, and more. 2369______ * Ia u t if u l , l o v in g , v ib r a n t w o m a n ,

, seeks girls like me to dance, touch, y, laugh, be friends and explore our ision and glory. 2373

NEW TO PERSONALS,

GWM,

50, SEEK TOP

es for fun and friendship. Age, race n. I’m 5’11”, med. build, blue eyes, Iwn hair. 2455_____________________ M,

65, PASSIVE, ISO Bi/GBM, ND,

1 can be totally feminine from head

Joe. For good times at my quiet 3:e in the country. 2416_______ _

(IATEUR MALE STRIPPER, BLONDE,

and fit. Professional style show. . Tuxedo, cowboy, logger and more, parties or private auditions. Hot for you and your friends. 2433

to Letters Only ads:

W 6I

8*W H E R E

b e t w e e n b e e t l e j u ic e

ral§an is a man: funny, strong, caring ieVVM, 40s, with hairy chest. Me? where between Gilda Radner and /vrfiman. Petite, independent, caring 4oish, hairless chest. Box 419

BOS, BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, URBAN,

sophisticated and athletic, out|y , fitness-oriented. ISO man of Ion & depth with warmth, humor, Illness, adventurous, open to [ ring life 8i relationship. Box 416

PRETTY WIDOW ISO GRAY-HAIRED gen tleman, 55-65, who is kind, open and fit, who, like me, reads broadly, enjoys learning, loves life’s finer things and has a great sense of humor. Box 405

32 , BLOND, BRIGHT, BEAUTIFUL,

seeks handsome counterpart, 28-42. Athletic, fit, articulate, passionate, seeks same with sense of humor, love of play, need for adventure. If you’re a knight in modern armor, I’m your fair maiden. Picture helps. Box 401________

LIVE WIRE. Christian loves life,

ngtap, wildlife. Enjoys travel, sunlight, g, music, moon light, cooking, light, inner peace, twilight, g you: strong, gentle, loving, honest. Box 411______________ RETTy, SMART, MELLOW, mystical, jical, wise, non-dogmatic spiritual (seeks a mutual, gentle, deeply swallow from eloquent fountain heart. Box 412

MaWM,

40S, DESIRES PETITE F, 25 -45 ,

who needs more out of life. Long talks, long walks, creative food and play with discretion. Real adults only. Middlebury area. 2413

elses. MaWM seeks MaWF who, like me, is way unappreciated. I know you’re out there, so call. You know they’ll never miss us as tong as the TV’s still on. 2367____________________ MaCU,

35 & 28, BEGINNERS, ISO CU or

BiF for erotic times. Healthy, discreet, attractive. 2375 ___________________ SUBMISSIVE BiWM,

30S, WITH GREAT

legs and attractive, seeks discipline by GWM, TV, F, or CU. Discretion assured. Other role-play welcome. 2385________ SWM, STRAIGHT, BUT A LITTLE differ

ent, late 30s, great looker, seeking fun w/ women & lingerie. I’ll try on for fun 81 want to party with you and your friends. 2387

HANNAFORDS, SHELBURNE RD., TUES.,

12/15, 6 p.m. Frozen foods, cards, asked you to dinner, me too shy, left. You blonde, blue coat. Would like to meet. I’m interested. Please call. 2448 SHALIMAR SMOULDERED, BUT IT

wasn’t the spicy. You winked, we both smiled. Let’s meet without our friends and smile some more! Me: available, dark, tall. You: appetizing! 2456_______ KIM, I MISS OUR BACKRUBS. Call me. A fellow alto. 2458_____________________

12 / 5 . TO THE lady going to England with Jim 81 Linda for the holidays, think you’re smart and classy. Me: the guy who provided the KSU overtime loss update. 2428______

VT PUB & BREWERY,

RUTH, WE MET LAST CHRISTMAS,

danced at the singles’ party. I’d like to see you again, but don’t know your last name or how to reach you. 2440

1 LONELY WOMEN. SWM, 48, caring. Weekend companion. Will treat you like a queen. Willing to cook, pamper & spoil you. Any age, weight, race. Bubble bath and champagne. Longterm. Box 408 ____________________ WASPY? IMBUED WITH THE WORLD,

words, wonder, warmth 81 wherewithal!? Here, fine features, too numerous. Electricity or not, you won’t be disap pointed. Please don’t ever tell how we met. Box 409______________________ _

GREAT CAKE NEEDS ICING. SWPF, 36,

LIFE’S TOO SHORT FOR ORDINARY

bright, warm, attractive, educated, loves the outdoors, has house and crit ters, seeks playmate/soulmate/boy-toy to share food, talk, wine, romps... house, critters? Write. Box 396________

things. Articulate, active, educated man on cusp of 40s searching for adventur ous woman who is doing/has done things out of the ordinary with her life to compare notes and plot possible course together. Box 403_____________

65 , WOULD LIKE TO

meet sophisticated friend/companion, 65+, to share ideas and participate in the cultural life of Burlington. Box 399

looking for Bi CUs, M & F, for friend ship 81 play. Bi self-awareness, intelli gence, honesty & good fun energy most important. 2402________________

CHRISTMAS PARTY, 12 / 5 . YOU’RE A very attractive pharmacist. We discussed receptor mechanisms. I didn’t get your name before you left with your date. Is he serious? I am. Call me. 2462_______

wmmmmm

' TO GET TO KNOW THE LIBRA IN

]iWF, 21, ISO man to be myself ffel ’m honest, attractive & fun. Write can make me laugh! Box 410

45 , ISO

like-minded playmates. I have 20 yrs. exp. organizing polysexual events. Safe, clean, honest, gentle, fun. You be self-aware, creative, confident, openminded. Are you ready for more fun than you’ve ever imagined? 2461

30S, 6’, 170 LBS., ATTRACTIVE,

INDEPENDENT DF,

LOOKING FOR MATH BUDDY TO WORK

on calculus problems. 2392___________

SENSUAL HEDONIST, SWM,

in shape, ISO intelligent, attractive, in shape guys, 25-35, for friendships and LTRs. Like to workout, hike, bike, trav el, socialize. Burlington/Lake Champlain region. 2316

SWF,

seeks silver-haired fox for weekly tryst. Age 58-68. If you’re curious, don’t

ATTRACTIVE CU IN MID-40S, BOTH Bi,

ISO F/Cu to enjoy sensual/erotic loving and role playing. Seeking to share sim ple good times as well. Age/race unimportant. 2467 __________________

39 , HANDSOME,

* /v

your response in an envelope, box # on the outside and place other envelope with $5 for each mse. Address to: ON TO PERSON c/o n jf N DAYS. P.O. Box 1164, Tngton, VT 05402

SEEKING OLDER WOMAN. MaWM, 40s,

lbs., 5’8”, br./bl. seeking G/BiWM mili tary, law enforcement, construction, trucker, business man, UPS or other uniformed profession for discreet dates, 18-45. 2313

WM, HEALTHY, STABLE, PROFESSIONAL

20 , ISO ANOTHER GUY WHO

m a a tim a s JL

a m in u te , m u s t b e 1 8 o r o ld e r .

WORKING-CLASS MEN: GWM, 39, 195

30s, 5 ’io ", 150

young-looking, seeking G/BiWM for dis creet fun evenings. Inexperienced wel come, long hair a +, 18-48, no fats or ferns. 2312__________________________ GWM,

$ 1 .9 9

WIFE WANTED...PREFERABLY SOMEONE

wears the same outfit more than two days in a row, can humor me with chicken anecdotes, and maybe, just maybe, will be himself. 2308______ _____ BLUE EYES, GWM,

hours a day!

I WANT YOU!! GWM seeks international Ms in uniform. I’m a professional. Especially interested in B/A/H. Must be discreet. Deserve to have a sensational time. 2314

gym rat, not into club scene, looking for secure men. Me: professional into all art forms, travel, outdoors and your imagination. ISO a physical guy who wants to share adventures as well as cuddle in front of TV. Bodybuilders a big +. 2442________________________ GWM, 26 . ATHLETIC ISO A PROF, ath letic, experienced, versatile WM, 26-40. Must be yourself. Humorous is a +. No skinny or fat men, please. LTR only. Burl, area. 2389_____________________ lbs., kind-hearted romantic. Shy, but ready to be set loose. Masculine, musi cian, loves outdoors, dance music. Eager to make new friends. 2330______

m Acckb'iq m m SWTO SCENE. SWM,

5 ’8*\ 180 LBS., 40S. BUDDING

w om an

MIS 8l

CROSS BETWEEN A MICHAEL J. FOX

Mark Hamel. PM ISO PF who is fit & adventurous, 30-45. Looking for a friend first, possible LTR. If you want to meet a real nice guy, write. Box 414

40S, teacher, Zen philosophy, travelled & SWP CANADIAN/EUROPEAN, NS,

educated, Christian, “love all the beau tiful things of life,” music, art, compas sion, devotion is my inner self. Photo appreciated. Box 417

EARTH LOVER ISO LIFE/TRAVEL PAL

GSPF, CREATIVE, BRIGHT, ATTRACTIVE,

playful spirit, adventurous, ISO partner with similar characteristics, late 30s40s. Must like kids. Box 413__________ HEART-CENTERED, ATTRACTIVE, inde pendent, active, aware, growth-oriented PF, 48, NS/NS/ND, seeks kindred PF spirit for friendship, poss. LTR. Love nature, the arts, kids, play, creativity, spirituality. Burl./Add. Co. Box 406 GWF, MATURE, LOVES TO DANCE,

romantic walks in the moonlight, can dlelight dinners. Looking for GF, NS, age & looks unimportant. Clean/neat a must. LTR w/ right person. Take a chance. Box 393

43, ATTRACTIVE, TALL, NS, PENT-UP affection for shy, intuitive, mysterious witch. We will be close, caring, private, enduring. Purring like cats. Singing like birds. Candle quiet. Where are you? Box 400___________

m an M aking m an

SWM, 44, FAST-PACED, OVER ACHIEV ER, 150 lbs., 5’8”, very fit, business

companion 81 friend. Enjoy cooking, quiet times, massage, rides & walks in the country. Rutland area. Box 397

owner, light smoker, loves cooking, dancing, shopping 81 my dog. ISO F, fit 81 friendly. Ready-made family nice. Box

394_____________________________ _ SUNLIGHT FILLS A CABIN BY A moun

tain stream. Bearded craftsman, 35, NS, NA, ND, NTV, flexible schedule. Seek F to ski hard, play fair and have fun. Box 395

DIRTY BOY. GWM,

36, SEEKS TRAINING,

GWM SEEKS TO MEET OTHER GM FOR

friendship 81 possibly more. I am 37, blue eyes, brow hair, very healthy, in great shape. I enjoy cooking, dining out, going for long rides in the country. If you’re out there, please drop me a line. Box 389

othah MaWPF WANTS TO HELP YOU FULFILL

your fantasies. Seeking discreet rela tionships with BPM, BPF or BCU for tender, sensual encounters. All ages welcome. Box 415

discipline 8t more. Box 402___________

48, 5 *10 ”, 150 LBS., LOOKING FOR M

MIDDLE-AGED, CLEAN BiWM WOULD

like to meet WM, 18-24, for very plea surable sexual experiences discreetly. Pref. thin 81 clean. Box 398

12 / 6 , UNIV. MALL. You said, “Hi.” I was awestruck. Last week in Nov., you were babysitting little girl at pool. We talked. I’d love to see your smile again. Box 418_____________________________ WE’VE KINDA MET ON THE HIGHWAY A

couple of times in Williston. Interested? I am WM, 36. Please write. Box 407

digit box num bers can be contacted e ith e r through voice m ail or by letter. in only be contacted by letter. Send le tte r alo ng w /

Kayak, swim, surf, hike, camp New Zealand, India, Ctrl. Amer.? You pick. 49, 6’, 160 lbs., gardener, homesteader, ecobuilder (scrounged materials), offgrid Luddite, sports playing, massage, political activist, attractive, healthy top, creative, considerate. Box 391_________

to PO Box

1164,

d ig it box num bers

B urlington, VT

05402

OVE IN CYBERSPACE. POINT YOUR WEB BROWSER TO h t t p ://WWW.SEVENDAYSVT.COM TO SUBMIT YOUR MESSAGE ON-LINE.

to (P&i&ion

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^ ° L r e s p o n d t t o , vo r <y o u R m a y ^b r o w s e a s p e c . f i c ' c a t e g o r y . # O F THE AD YOU W ,SH TO • C a l l s c o s t $ 1 . 9 9 p e r m i n u t e . Yo u m u s t b e o v e r 1 8 y e a r s o l d . A d s w it h a 3 - d ig it b o x # c a n b e c o n t a c t e d t h r o u g h t h e m a il . S e a l y o u r r e s p o n s e in a n e n v e l o p e , w r i t e t h e b o x # o n t h e o u t s i d e a n d p l a c e in a n o t h e r e n v e l o p e W ITH $ 5 FOR EACH r e spo n se . Ad d r e ss to : Box # ------, p.o. Box 1164, B u r l i n g t o n , VT 05402.

Two FREE weeks for:

Four FREE weeks for: W o m e n s e e k in g m e n m e n s e e k in g W o m e n W o m e n S e e k in g W o m e n M en S e e k in g M en

deceraber a®, 1998 & January 6,-1999 v

I SPY OTHER I

j C H E C K H E R E IF Y O U ’D P R E F E R “Letters o n l y ”

SEVEN DAYS''■ page 4'

’

S P R IN G ‘ 99 GRADUATE ADMINISTRATION AND MANAGEMENT Muster o f Science in Adm inistration • Certificate of Advanced Management Study Nonprofit Management Series Course Key: (Q)=Qualifying (C)=Core (E)=Elective (Q) GSA 495 M a |^ ^ ^ 0 a n a g e m e n t (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:1

(E) GSA 537 Planning and Control Systems (3cr.) Saturday, 8:30 am-12:30pm (Jan. 16, 23, 30; Feb. 6, 13; March 6, 13, 20, 27; April 10

(Q) GSA 496A BusinesadJuantitative Tools

O Stw

and Statistics(GV£)< Monday, 5:00-7:25pm

(Q) GSA 496B Business Quantitative Tools and Statistics (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:25pm (C) GSA 511A Managerial Presentations (2cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:25pm (Jan 13, 20, 27; Feb. 3, 10, 17; March 3, 10, 17, 24) (C) GSA 511B ManaqeriakPresentations (2cr.) Sunday, 8:00arrCfe£p^Pan- 17, 24, 31; Feb. 14) (C) GSA 513A Financial M anagem ent I (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:25pm

(E) GSA 541 Managing Information Systems (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:25pm (first class meets on 1/13) Web-based Weekly class meetings are not held. (E) GSA 545 Management and Ethics (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:25pm '(E) GSA 549 The Learning Organization (3cr.) Tuesday, 6:00-8:25pm

Managem ent WfcOStD Wednesday, 5:0u-7:25pm (C) GSA 515 Effective Written Com m unication (2cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:25pm (Jan. 12,19, 26; Feb. 2, 9; March 2, 16, 30; April 1 3 ,2 7 ) (E) GSA 532 Com puters for Managers: The Information Toolbox (3cr.) Saturday, 10:00am-3:00pm (Jan. 16, 30; Feb. 13; March 6, 13, 27; April 10, 24)

GPS 516 Advanced Abnormal Psychology (3cr.) Tuesday, 7:30-9:55pm

504 Brain-Based Curriculum and Vermont’s Framework of Standards, P/K through Grade Four Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 511 Fundamentals of Curriculum (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm GED 516 Teacher as a Decision Maker (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-8:15pm (Class begins 1/18)

GED 547 Secondary Curriculum Planning (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-8:00pm

(E) GSA 626 Marketing for Nonprofit Organizations (1cr.) Sunday, 8:30am-4:30pm January 17 & 31

GED 667 Drama as a Teaching Tool (3cr.) Mon., 5:00-7:25pm; Performances Sat., 1/9 and Sun., 3/28 Flynn Theatre Education Space, Burlington

GED 556 Telecommunications and The Vermont Standards (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm GED 558 Introduction to Educational Research (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm GED 563 School Law (3cr.) Tuesdsay, 5:00-7:30pm

GPS 609 First Year Practicum II (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:25pm

GED 579 Information Literacy: Researching Electronically (3 c r.) Thursday 5:00-7:30pm

GPS 611 Internship Ethics and Professional Affairs Sem inar (3-6cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:25pm

GSL 611 Sociopragmatics (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm GSL 620 Testing and Evaluation in TESL (3cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm ( 8 weeks, March 8 - May 7)

GSL 542 Theory and Method in Second Language Teaching (3cr.) Friday, 5:00-7:30pm

GSL 655 Language Learning and Assessm ent for Children (3cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm ( 8 weeks, Jan. 11 - March 5) .

GSL 543 Teaching Oral Skills in ESL/EFL and English Phonology (4cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 6:10-7:50pm

GSL 685 Practicum I (3cr.) Friday, 5:00-7:30pm

GSL 544 Teaching Reading and Writing in ESL/EFL (4cr.) Monday & Wednesday, 5:00-6:40pm

GED 671 Bookmaking for Educators (1cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm (3/11 through 4/15) Union Memorial School

NEW O G E D

673A Special Topics in Arts Education: From Head to Toe, Rhythm and Rhyme from Around the World (1cr.)

Sat., 4/10 9am-4pm; Sun., 4/11 10am-1pm; Thurs., 4/15, 4:30-7pm; Fri., 4/16, 6 -10pm Flynn Theatre Education Space, Burlington

GPS 526 Theories of Psychotherapy (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:25pm

GSL 604 Second Language Acquisition (3cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 4:30-5:45pm

GSL 506 Com m unication Skills (3cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 3:00-4:15pm

GED 655 Using Standards in the Classroom: Integrating Curriculum, Instruction and Assessm ent (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30pm

(E) GSA 605 The Nonprofit Organization (1cr.) Sunday, 10:00am-3:00pm (March 14, 21, 28)

GSL 602 Intercultural Communications (3cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 4:30-5:45pm

GSL 502 English Gram mar (4cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 6:10-7:50pm

GED 654 Teaching Adults: Critical Education Praxis (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-8:00pm

GED 664 Implementing a Consulting Program in the School (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 581 Management of Emotional/Behaviorai Problems in the Mainstream Classroom (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm GED 596 Multimedia Technology (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

Master o f A rts in TESL • Advanced Certificate in TESL

GSL 500 Introduction to Language and Linguistics (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 653 Adult Development and Learning (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

(C/E) GSA 598 Thesis Seminar (3cr.) Thursday, 7:30-9:55pm

TEACHING ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE "

NEW O G E D

GED 631 Development, Learning, and Individual Differences (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 529 Student Directed Learning (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm Alpha Team Classroom, Shelburne Community School .

GPS 520 Advanced Social Psychology (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:25pm

Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

Professional Advancement

GED 662 Implementing and Evaluating Instructional Programs (3cr.) Time: Saturday, 8:30am-12:30pm (Classes: 1/1 6,2/13,3 /13,4 /10,5/1)

Master of A rts in Clinical Psychology

GPS 511 Research Methods II (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:25pm

502 Media Literacy Across the K-12 Curriculum (3cr.)

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GED 521 Language Arts and Social Studies in the Multiage Classroom (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00pm

(E) GSA 551 Human Resource Management (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:25pm

CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY GPS 508 Psychological Assessment II (4cr.) Thursday, 7:30-9:55pm Monday, Lab 8:00-9:30pm

NEW O G E D

GED 518 Adolescent Development (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

EDUCATION / SPECIAL EDUCATION Master in Education • Certificate of Advanced Graduate Study

GED 597 Integrating Technology into the Curriculum (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30pm

NEW O G E D

673B Special Topics in Arts Education: Telling Story with Songs (1 cr.)

Fri., 1/15, 6-10pm; Sat., 1/16, 9am-4pm; Sat. 1/23, 9am-4pm Flynn Theatre Education Space, Burlington GED 678 Aesthetic Perspectives on Culture; and Education: The Art of Creating Human Diversity (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00pm (class begins 1/20) Jeanmarie Hall 362 GED 689 Student Teaching Sem inar (3cr.) Thursday, 3:30-5:30pm GED 696 Philosophy of Education (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-8:00pm

GED 613 Mathematics in a K-8 Classroom (3cr.) . Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

To arrange for Graduate Education courses in your school or district in subject areas such as the arts, technology, and curriculum, please contact Anne Judson at 802/654-2611.

THEOLOGY AN D PASTORAL MINISTRY Master of A rts in Theology • Advanced Graduate Certificate

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A uditing and Enrichment

GTH 698 Fundamentals of Pastoral Counseling (3cr.) Thursdays, 6:00-8:25 pm

GSL 688 Practicum II (3cr.) Friday, 5:00-7:30pm

UNDERGRADUATE EVENING COURSES AR 203D Two-Dim ensional Design (3cr.) Tuesday, 6:30-9:30 p.m.

BU 309D Business Law (3cr.) Tuesday and Thursday, 5:30-6:45 p.m.

GS 203A Gender Issues and Society (3cr.) Wednesday, 7:00-9:30 p.m.

AR 205G Drawing I (3cr.) Thursday, 6:30-9:30 p.m.

BU 315E Financial Policies of Corporations (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30 p.m.

HI 103C U.S. History Since 1865 (3cr.) Monday and Wednesday, 5:00-6:15 p.m.

AR 403A Sculpture: Carving/Construction (3cr.) Thursday, 6:30-9:00.p.m.

BU 461F Business Policy & Strategic Managem ent (4cr.) Monday, 5:00-8:00 p.m.

AR 431A Life Drawing (3cr.) Wednesday, 6:00-9:00 p.m.

DA 397B Dance Ensemble (2cr.) Monday and Wednesday, 5:00-6:30 p.m.

BU 211D Managem ent Information System s (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30 p.m. Web-Based. Weekly class meetings are not held.

E N 1 0 1 F Writing I (4cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00 p.m.

IN 102A Portfolio Development (2cr.) By Arrangement IN 106A American Experience (4cr.) Thursday, 5:00-8:00 p.m.

EN 253B American Literature II (3cr.) Tuesday, 6:00-8:30 p.m.

Monday, 6:00-9:00 p.m.

BU 309C Business Law (3cr.) Monday, 5:30-8:00 p.m.

Tuesday and Thursday, 5:00-6:15 p.m.

PH 201D Philosophy of Human Nature (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:30 p.m.

EN 407A African American Literature (4cr.) {

F R 209A Intermediate French II (3cr.)

PS 101M General Psychology (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30 p.m.

ro erams prcvel@smcvt.edu www.sm cvt.edu/prevel

PS 313B Personality Theories (4cr.) Monday and Wednesday, 4:00-5:40 p.m. RS 110F Introduction to the New Testament (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:35 p.m. SL 220A American Sign Language II (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:30 p.m.

IN 110A Perennial W isdom (4cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00 p.m. MA 101G Finite Mathematics (3cr.) Monday and Wednesday, 5:00-6:15 p.m.

BU 303E Managem ent & Organizational Behavior (4cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00 p.m.

PS 303E Managem ent & Organizational Behavior (4cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00 p.m.

SL 220B American Sign Language II (3cr.) Tuesday and Thursday, 4:30-5:45 p.m. Language II (3cr.) ', 4:30-5:45 p.m.

SL 220C American^ Monday and Wednes

SO 309A Research Methods (4cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00 p.m.

Graduate and Adult Programs

802 654-2100 -

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