A Billion (and More) Foods in One

By Skye Ambrose

Other foods you are forced to buy and they aren’t sold for free, but this food is free all over the world and has over a billion different flavors, can you guess what it is? No it’s not ice cream, you have to pay for that, buster! (Unless there is a sketchy man giving it away in a white van for free, then enjoy!) (Please don’t listen to her, she’s delusional.) But anyways, air is the best food yet! I shot up from my uncovered pillow all drenched in sweat. I was scared and couldn’t tell if I was sweating from the bundle of covers I had been sleeping in—practically truck loads of covers (even in the middle of summer she slept all bunched up in covers, psychopath vibes)—or if it was because of the horrifying dream I had while in slumber. I felt like a wet, hot rag that had been used to clean the toilet seat. I hopped out of bed and tip-toed my way into the dark and gloomy kitchen in search of a small snack to send myself back to bed and hopefully forget about the dream (more like a nightmare). I searched up, down, left, and right, but the kitchen was bare, similar to a bald man’s head (so, yours?). I was losing hope, until I checked the fridge. The solution sat right in front of my face, it oozed out of the fridge (more like floated). It was nice, fresh, cold air streaming out of the fridge. Being a slow thinking eight-year-old, I quickly grabbed a cup and scooped some out of the fridge and enjoyed it with a spoon. I was feeling more refreshed now so I headed back to bed and had only pleasant dreams, not ones where my family is getting chopped up with a chainsaw by some psychotic psychopath. More things about air are that you can feel it, but you can walk through it without any openings so you won’t bust your head unless you 60 lywfsdzqregcna

fall. You also are provided this delicious substance by trees (the tall rotten looking things that resemble broccoli) that provide us with air, and we give them carbon dioxide, this is their air. Air has a windy feeling to it, it’s like a mixed emotion, rough but soft. Cool but steamy. It can also smell and taste different depending on your environment and where you are in place and time. (You’re probably at home chilling, must be nice, I’m stuck with an insane ten-year-old!) (Just ignore her, she’s hangry.) So to end this off, I have a challenge for you! Take multiple different foods and taste the air they provide, then rate them from zero to ten (or zero to one hundred, if it’s as bad as she is). All right, our journey ends here! See you soon.