Sour Patch Kids

By Emily Newport

Lots of people say, “You’re so sweet,” but I’m a Sour Patch Kid! Think about a bite into a lemon Sour Patch Kid. But wait, you’re biting into me. Anyway, “Blech, sour, eww!” Don’t call me sour just me yet, you don’t know me. “Okay, she tastes a little more sweet.” Okay, when people say, “Oh, she’s so sweet,” I’m thinking to myself, “Have you not known me for ten years?” I have bad days. Sometimes, I will make your eyes water. Sometimes, I will make me happy. Don’t start judging all chocolate Emily. Judge me by how loud you yell: “Sour!” Let me tell you a story. First, close your eyes. Think about a bag of Sour Patch Kids. You started eating and you’re fine. You take a yellow one. “Dun, dun, dun…” Your walls are folding in with you. “HELP ME!” Wait, stop everything. Why in the world would you eat me? When I eat a Sour Patch Kid, I think, “MMM. That’s so good.” To some it would be, “Sour! Help me!” Some Sour Patch Kids are not very sour because I know that I’m eating myself. But because I’m eating myself, I feel like I’m becoming more of myself. I don’t really eat Sour Patch Kids, but I always feel good about myself when I think about the thought of Sour Patch Kids. These were all the reasons I would consider myself a Sour Patch Kid. When I need to I will make your eyes water. I will also be sweet like sugar. But whatever the situation, just know, I’ll be right there for you.